Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-12-11
A sEA.coAL FIRE.
The Average Americans Susceptible.
ty to Humbuggery.

sketches that | can recall, is that of
TX. Marvel, where the old bachelor
sits in the midst of his reveries, be-
fore a "seo-com fire." with his feet,
more aspiring than his head, planted
high on the mantle; the smoke from
his cigar curling gracefully tothe cell
ing, and in fantastic circles and gyra-
tons, very aptly symbolizing the
changing fancies of its creator.
a Sea-coaJ fire! It's comfortable
combination, and seems to generate
warmth and cheer, just as the word
home carries with it the perfect hap
piness and contentment of the domes-
tic fireside.
A sea-coal fire is good, very good,
and although you never saw one nor
heard of one as a tangible reality, ex-
cept in books, at the very mention of
it, you draw your chair closer to the
stove, spread the palms to catch the
precious heat, and lapse into state
of effectiveness and philosophizing,
as one only can do, under just such
delightful influences.
Colonel Sellers was right, at last
eminently wise was that super-san-
guine old fellow. What difference
did it make to his shivering guest, if
the stove did contain only flicker
ing candle Dip" so long as he could
fancy a roaring fire within its depths?
True the coal bin had been empty
for months, and the last vestige of a
chip had been picked up from the
back yard, but the Colonel knew hui
ture when he saw it, and that in this
green country youth, there was a
wide margin of energetic fancy to be
worked on, and he played upon it
well, the Colonel did, until the awk-
ward boy knocked down the poker
that supported the door, and revealed
the mocking travesty on a sea-cOaJ fire.
And so it is and will be, until steam
and electricity take from us the rem
nant of fancy we inherited.
You remember the story of the man
who conceived the idea that he had a
bottle growing on his nose, and that
the taunts and jeers of his friends
only served to make the bottle grow
larger and stick tighter, until some
wise doctor who knew fool better
than the science of surgery, humored
the whim, and, in course of time, and
after series of five-dollar visits,
successfully removed the fancied bot
tie. Each of us gives evidence of the
bottle on his nose. Punctuate that
sentence carefully, Mr.. Editor, mean
the one thing, and am too just to in
sinuate the other.
A seo-cOal fire! Charming sound,
"that has so the power to seduce"
our innocent ears! Why, only the
other day, since the advent of cold
weather, saw a practical joke played
that is illustrative. In neighboring
real estate Office, the coal box was
empty, and they had determined on
having sea-coaJ fire. A brightly
burning lamp had been placed with
in the capacious base-burner stove
the doors were closed, they waited
for the coming of the fools-and they
didn't wait long. Through the half
transparent mica sheets in the doors
the accommodating lamp threw Out
its alluring glow.
In comes fool number one, and see
ing this first fire of the season, pro
ceeded to luxuriate. He backed W
against the stove, raised the non-con
Quoting tail of his overcoat, claspet
his hands behind him-but you know
how it is done-and then, 81 tell yol
Brown, this is a good fire you have
Anthracite is twelve dollars a tor
now, they tell me-" Then comes fool
number two, three and four, and taxi
the places reserved for them at thu
stove. When circle of these profes
sional spongers are formed about thu
stove, and threaten to appropriate
the outlying space and cut off tn
, heat from those who pay the rent, {
deafening laugh goes up from half {
dozen threats, the stove doors ar
thrown open, and the SeG-codJ fire sug
gests treat for the crowd, and RICH
royalty and willingly it is given, 70
that is Western style, you know
The joke was not original, for Colone
Sellers had played it when Missouri
was "the frontier" but it was good
and appealed to the same chord il
the human heart'a good joke has al
ways played upon, from the tim
, when Zanthippe threw slop water Oh