Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-03-19
ACK
His Account of Himself, and Fits Opinion
of Cats, Etc.

His Account of Himself, and Fits Opinion
of Cats, Etc.
[ am Il dog. Please note that I do,
not say "only a dog" No, indeed. I
leave such remarks for the h~alf-starved
black-and-tan terrier that sometimes.
comes to play with me.
Why should 1 say it? T am a fine,
bird-dog, worth considerable, have
been stolen, and, in fact, have had a,
great many adventures because of my
value. Then L am handsome. You
needn't think because l tell it that I
am vain. No, lam only honest enough,
to say outright what you human beings
all think. Else why do you fill your
house with mirrors, look at yourselves
so much, then say: "Oh, whenever Z
see any thing homely l just shut my
eyes and look at the Clouds"
| also like cats. At least, / like QUE
cat. But what is he good for? He is
so lazy and aristocratic. All he does is
to come down to breakfast somewhere
between eleven and twelve, then he
goes back upstairs again and sleeps ALI
the afternoon; takes his tea when the
milkman comes, and as he is gone till
two or three in the morning, 1 suppose
attends-or possibly helps give-the
nightly concerts that occur i'm QUE
neighborhood.
Oh! how 1 do love to bark at those
cats. But about nine my mistress SAYS:
Jack, Jack! It's time to come inv
and as l can't climb tree and crawlin
by the back window, as the cat does, I
have to obey.
l not only like to bark at cats, bat at.
people. But much as you people think
you know, you do not seem to be aware
that l have different kinds of banks.
Some arc respectful; others-well, YOU
should just hear me bark at tho
i "preps' or the little boys that laugh
and throw stones at me. I should like
to bite some of them, but they are So
very dirty, often, that 1 don't, and
then ! nm a deacon's dog and it
wouldn't look well.
When a college professor goes by I
bark, but it is only to show how much
l admire his plug hat and respect hp
learning.
l do not like the "sophs." They
think they know more than they do.
But they are really pretty good judges
OF the dainty little canes they swing SO
jauntily. and their smiles are i%rresist-
ible-to the girls. However, there is
n OF them l don't hate. Because
l. last spring term there was q young
lady coming to our house that this
, 'soph" was quite devoted to. So one.
day just before she came he went by,
saw me in the yard, called me to him
and petted me. He even did not scold
when put my dirty paws on his
clothes simply to show how honored I
felt at his noticing me. [ suppose he
was afraid | might bark too loudly
some evening when he came to call.
am afraid you will begin to think I
spend all my time philosophizins, butI
don't. No, | am a true American, and
| work occasionally-when Ican't help
it. My little master has taught me
how to draw a sled or wagon. He
. helps in his fathers store, and when
they are very busy we help deliver
goods.
They harncssed me up the other day
to draw Il load. The weather was bot.
| was tired, my master was cross, and
| wanted TO stay in the shade and eat
flies instead Of working. Finally 1
tvotted off, had the wagon emptied,
turned toward home and then stopped.
wanted to ride. couldn'tsee why Il
dog shouldn't ride sometimes as well
as a boy. So l stopped. Well, at last
my master comprehended whatI want
cd, Embarrassed me, told me to get III
and drew me to the store. Oh! l rode
down in fine style; my head up, my
tail flying and my horse making good
time.
The next day it was hot again; so
when it was time to 90 to the store l
went out in the backyard and lay I'M
der al apple-tree till they We're gone.
Then | Games around in front, scratched
up a lot of good-for-nothing pansies
that grew in the incest, shadiest place
in the whole yard. Oh! l had a good
time then. The dirt was so soft and
cool, the flies had not found me, and L
was thinking of how pleasant it was to
live, when the owner of the tlower-bed
came out. [ started, but not quick
enough, for she boxed my ears and
. scolded me awfully. And now they
have put back the old pansies and stuck
a lot of horsid little sticks in the bed
that l can neither scratch up nor lie
down on. What do they want of those
pansies, anyhow? They can't draw a
wagon nor keep burglars out at night.
However, | don't always do that either,
for the other night got in upstairs
in the front room when l was down
stairs in a back room, and yet in the
morning they SAIL: "Where was
jack" Now, you see, if they would
only let me stop out nights as l want
to, L would have seen the man and
kept him away. My paw is getting
tired of writing, and as 1 am only six
years old l think this is rather q long
letter for me to write. So l will 60 and
see whose yellow cat that was that just
went in the barn. Ever yours,
JACK CAnT.