davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
Three Undue New York Clubs.

There are three rathc" un que CLUBS IN
New York that, judging by their recent
growth, will in time become quite celc-
brated. One is tn. Thirt, C, c ub, which
meets at dinner at 7:13 o'clock on the
18th of each month, to diSprove the
popular superstition tn; t one of every
thirteen who sit down to table will die
before the year is out. TIL, club started
several years ago with thirteen at atablc,
but so popular have Their dinners be-
come by reason of the feast of W.T. and
wisdom, not to say viands provid ID, that
at Their dinner next week at Brighton
Beach, thirteen tables, each seating th!r
teen. Will be p:ov'd 4. There arc thr-
teen courses on the IN. .nu, thirteen at
table, thirteen speeches II ade, and the
number thirteen introduced in every pos
sible way ard shape. Not being able to
make the menu card in the shape of the
numeral, the suggestive form of coffin
is adopted.
, The neurology of the club effcctually
explodes the theory of the fatality of the
number and the club is gaining recruits
every d nncr, and will have headquar-
tiers and take its place among the social
clubs next season..
The other club is the Twilight Club,
which NETS at dinner every fortnight,
and after the clGth has been removed,
discusses the leading questions of the
day, pro and con, according to the pre-
objections OF the speakers, who arc gen.
orally selected because they arc known
to be antagonistic. The antayoni>m of
the speakers prevents the club from ever
being mutual admiration society, and
consequently its d 'nncrs have become
very attractive to large elias; who Gu
JOY this species of intellectual sparrlng.
The third club is the least known of
the three; indeed, though with larger
membership th IN either, little is known
of it outside of its memb,:s 1t is
known as the Peanut Club, and the
badge of memberships pcanut-must
be worn on every occasion as all orna-
mcnt or amulet, in metal. ~jewelry or
carved VIZ cd. Any member accoSting
another who cannot display the badge
can call on him for dinner for as many
CT the club as he likes. 1t my be the
call may be made in the middle Of the
night and the challenged party aroused
from his slumbers; CT it may bc that the
demand may be made in the breakers off
Coney Island or Long Branch-no mat
ter when or where, if the counterfeit
peanut is not produced the penalty is es-
tablishcd. The result is that many of
the members carry their emblem of men,
bcrship attached 10 string around the
neck. and wear it night and day. The
gentleman who was aroused from his
slumbcrs wo,c his in this way. If the
challenging party cannot produce tho
emblem if required by one who has, he
is called on to pay the penalty, and in
this case it took the form of q very clabo
rate dinner at the West End HOTEL
PhiieMell,hi0 Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
SuperStitiOus Miners.

In the mining camps in California in
carly days rabbits claw nailed under
meath tho top of table covered with a
faro Oh monte lay out was rcckoned a
.'dead hoodoo," and miners visiting
towns adjacent to their camp on Sun
DAYS would often Stick cotton tails
trottcr underneath the top Of 4 gaming
table at which they were bucking. 1t
was not an uncommon occurrence at the
close of deal resulting unluckily for the
game for the deal, lookout and case
keeper to light a candle and carefully
inspect the under part of the table in
search of the obnoxious rabbits claw
to which they attributed their bad luck.
On one occasion dealer was shot and
fell stone dead underneath the table
while attempting to remove one of the
Nl omencd claws by the player who
placed it there. Tirgiaia (Ner) Ch'oni-
rk. -Szal--
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
A Chinese Cure for Piracy.

Particulars Of the attempt of pirates
to capture the steamer "Mec-foo," and
the suppression of the plot, briefly
noticed in the summary of news by the
last steamer, show that about two hun
dred frcebooters, pretending to be dis
charged soldiers, boarded the vessel ut
Foochow The presence Of several hum
dred Chinese troops on beard baulkcd
the attempt to capture the steamer, but
stealing was rsortcd to instead. On
ascertaining the character Of the gang
the officer commanding the troops di-
rected the wholesale slaughter of the
pirates. Red ribbons were plated in
the cues of the soldiers to distinguish
them from the pirates, and the latter
were decapitated as they came up from
below by guards stationed at the hatch
ways for the purpose. Some took the
alarm, remained below, and on reaching
port were permitted to escape, the COM
mander being sated with bloodshed. The
deck of the ship looked like shamble;
running with blood, and Uttered with
hcadl,ss and limb!ess trunks.-San Ft"a-
cisco Chronicle.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
Spontaneous Combustion.

Spontaneous combustion is sail to be
an impossiblity, but a phenomenon that
at one time would be ascribed to that
cause has lately been observed in the
suburbs of Paris. In 1871, a fire oc-
currod in a villa. The reparation WIS
carr led out under the direction of M arch
itcct. and the house has since been occu-
pied by the same owner. One day he
observed that the ceiling of the dining
room appeared as if some of the plaster
was about to give way, and, as the bulg'
ing increased, he called in IN architect.
lie concluded that somehow a beam must
have given away, and workmen were
employed to make a close examination
It was then discovered that the wood
was almost consumed. Some spark may
have remained, and during fifteen years
the destruction must have gone on by
inches, for no other hypothesis WIS
brought forward than ono of very slow
combustion. The circumstance is so re
markable as to appear almost incredible,
although tircmcn can relate stories Of a
similar kind.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
Fables for the Times.

A Hickory Nut was once floating
down a stream with some apples, when
it suddenly exclaimed, with arrogant eu-
thusiasm: "How we apples do swim :"
Scarcely were the words uttered, when Il
passcr-by seized the Hickory Nut, car
ried it home and ground it to atoms in a
cider mill.
Moral: This Fable teaches that false
pretence is often its own reward; an
that liar may experience discontinue
from the very br.lliaa"y Of his own
lYinr.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
THE Ass ON TIE ROOF.

An Ass one day climbed upon tho roof
of house, and a ter playing aHoat for ;
while. fell through into the room below.
"Thc roof of house is no proper play
ground for al ass, remarked TIE owner
of the house to the unccrcmonious in.
trudcr. There's w,irlc you make Il
mistake responded the Ass; ":or moth,
ing but an Ass would play on such a
place"
Moral: This Fable teaches that al
event or circumstance, seemingly ont OF
harmony with its environment, may bear
some obscure correlation with tn" cter-
ual fitness or things. s.-LJt.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
Trenty.Gour HOurs 70 Live,

from John Kuhn, Lafayette, Ind, who nm
nounces that he is now in perfect health"
VIC have the following: "Onc year ago | was,
to all appearance, IN the last stages of con-
sumption. Our best physicians gave my case
up. finally got so low that our doctors saic
could not live tweaty-four hours. My friends
then purchased bottle of DIR. WILLIAM
HALLS BAISAM FOR THE LUNGS, which bene-
fitted me- continued until took nine bottles.
l am now il perfect health, having used 10
;ther medicine"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
Hints to Consumptives.


Consumptives should use food as nourshing
as can be had, and in shape that will best
agree with the stomach and taste Of the pa
tient.
o ut-door exercise is earnestly recommended.
If you are unable to take such exercise on
horseback or on foot, that should furnish no
excuse for shutting yourself indoors, but you
should take exercise in a carriage, or in some
other way bring yourself in contact with the
open air.
Medicines which cause expectoratioa must
be avoided. For five hundred years ply
sicians have tried to cure Consumption by
using them, and have failed. Where there IS
great arrangement Of the secretions, win
engagement Of air-cells, there is always
profuse expectoration. Now Piso's Cure re-
moves the engagement and the arrangement
of the secretions, and consequently land In
this way only diminishes the amount Of mat
ter expectorated. This medicine does not dry
up a cough, but removes the cause of it.
When it is impossible from debility or other
causes to exercise freely in the open air. apart
ments occupied by the patient should be 80
ventilated as to ensure the constant accession
of fresh air in abundance.
The surface of the body should be sponged
as often rs every tnlTQ Qdy Win tePio water
and little soft-soap. This is preferable 10
any other) After thoroughly drying, use
friction with the hand moistened with oil,
Cod-Liver or Olive is the best. This keeps the
pores Of the skin in soft, pliable condition,
which contributes materially to the unloading
of waste matter from the system through this
organ. You will please recolt C; we cure this
disease by enab bling the organs OF the sys em
to perform their functions in O n rmal way,
or in other woid ds, We remove obstructitn',
while the recuperative powers Of the system
cure the disease.
We will here say word in regard 10 cough
in the t, rming stage, where there is no con-
stitutional or noticeable disease. A cough
may or may not foreshadow serious evil; take
It in its mi des. form, to say the least, 1t is O
nu sance, and should be abated.
A cough is unlike any other symptom OF dis
ease. 1t stands conSpirator. with threaten
ing voice, menacing the health and existence
of O vital organ. Its first approach is in whis-
pers unintelligible, and at first too often un.
needed. but in time it never fails to ma e itself
understood-ncver fails to claim the attention
of those on whom 1t calls.
If you have O cough without disease OF the
lungs or serious constitutional distur bance, so
much the better, as a few do es OF Piso's cure
will be all you may need, while II you re far
advanced in Consumption, several bottles may
be required tn effect permanent cure.
II you are suffering from Chronic. Cough,
Bronchitis. Asthma, or Loss of Voice, DR..
Kilmer's Indian Cough Cure Consumption on
will relieve quickly-remove the cause and
cure. Price &c. IO and Loo
ONE pair Of boots can be saved yearly by
using Lyons Patent Metallic Heel Stiheners
Relief is immediate, and a cure sure. Piso's
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
pho Rcnuty of Woman

is her crown Of glory. But alas! how quickly
does the nervous debility and chronic weak
ness of the sex cause the bloom OF youth to
pass away, sharpen the lovely features, and
emaciate the rounded form! There is but one
remedy which will restore the faded roses and
bring back the grace of youth. 1T is DR..
Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" sovereign
remedy for the diseases peculiar to females:
1t is one of the greatest boons ever conferred
upor the human race, for it preserves that
which is fareSt and dearest to all mankind
the beauty and the health Of woman.
HALF q million wild ducks are annually
killed in Southern Louisiana and sent to the
Na,r Drfea nc market
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
To Consumptives.

Reader, can you believe that the Creator
atfiicts one third of mankind with a disease
for which there is no remedy? DR.. r.. V.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery" has
cured hundreds of cases Of consumption, and
men are living to-day-healthy, robust men
whom physicians pronounced incurabe; be;
cause one lung was almost gone. Send II
cents in stamps for DR.. Pierce's book on con,
Worlds Dispcnsary Medical Association, GJt
Main Sfrret Rnffaln. Y. y.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

After the most exhaustive practical tests in
hospitals and elsewhere, the gold medal and
certificate of highest merit were awarded to
St. Jacobs Oil. as the best pain-curing remedy,
Mt the Calcutta International Exhibition.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

STE lMERs from SOME of the Southern ports
bring CO, GOO to 70 600 big watermelons per trip.
The freightage TO New York is five cents q
melon. Last season one company received
S2S0oO for watermelon freight, and Carried
nearly 800 GOO melons.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

For DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression OF
spirits general dcb!lity,in their various forms,
also as Il preventive against trverand ague and
otler intermittent fevers, the "Ferro- Phosphor-
uted Elixir of Calisaya," made By Caswell, Haz-
ard &; Co., New York, and sold by all Druggists,
from fever or other sickness it has no equal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

OF the thousand or more prisoners dis
char scd from Sing Sing prison during the last
year and half there was not one who was not
while al penal service.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

Prof. Grothe, Brooklyn Board of Health,
saya Red Star Cough Cure is free from opiates,
and highly efilcacious. Twenty-Five cents.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

Half million wild ducks are annually
killed in Southern Louisiana and sent to
the New Orleans market.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
R:R...R.' '''''}I '''}{I g.,

In from one to twenty minutes. mover fails &c rs-
Neye PAIN with one thorough application. No nAt-
ter how violent excrnciafng the pain, the Rheu-
matte, Bedrldden, Infirn, Crippled, Nervous, Neu
ralgic. or prostrated with disease may suffer- RAD
WAYS READY RELIEF viii afrord instant ease.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

Structure Of the urethra, however inveterate
or complicated from previous bad treatment.
speedily and permanently cured by our new
and improved methods. Book, references and
terms sent for ten cents in stamps, Wnrlu'S
Dispcnsary Medical Association, 6S3 Main
~ tr.nt RufT,lD Y v
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

Chimney sweeps are al t to die Of c"l-
.er, it is said.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
THE TRUE RELIEF.

RADwAY'S READY RELIEF Is the only remedial
agent in vogue that win instantly stop pain. II In
sick or nervous, Toothache, Neuralgia. Nervousness
and Slceplessnesa Rheumatism, Lumbago. Pains
and Weakness in the Back, Spine or Kidneys, aims
Sprains Bruises, Bites OF Insects and Pains Of all
kinds RAILWAYS READY RELIEF will AFFORD i'm
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
DR.. RAILWAYS PILLS
The Great Liver and Stomach Remedy

For the cure of all disorders Of the Stomach Liver.
Bowels Kidneys Bladder. Nervous Diseases. Loss q
Appetite, Headache, Costiyeness, Indigestion. BIZ
and all arrangements Ct the Internal Viscera. Pure
ly vegetable, containing no mercury, minerals @
deleterious drugs. 80.
Price 20 cents per boz. Sold by all druggists
ISend q letter stamp to DR.. RADWAY &
Co., No. 80 Warren Street, New York, fos
false and True" -
'..BE SURE TO GET RAILWAYS.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

AN Nnnovation i'll m instrelsy has taken place
in Montana, where a negro is playing all en-
rurnmpnt In which lie ''Wll:tenS Mp.N
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

Aheavy growth Of hair Is produced by the
uso of Halls Hair Remover. -.-.,..... .... y
Every description Of malarial disorder yields
IN tho curative mower nf Ayers HfIiS Cure,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

A NEGRO in Columbia county, Arkansas,
claims TO be lnG wears old.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01
MALARIA IN ITS VARIOUS FORMS.
FEVER AND ACUE.

There Is not remedial agent in the world that win
cure Fever and Ague and all other Malarious, BIZ
ious Scarlet and other Fever5 (aided by RADWAYS
PILLS. so quick IS RAILWAYS READY RELIEF.
Price Fifty Cents. Sold by Druggists.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

Relief is immediate, and cure sure. Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. SOC.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

ONE pair Of boots can be saved yearly by
nsinp LYONS Patent Metallic Heel Stiffeners
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

II you are suffering from Chronic Cough,
Bronchitis. Asthma, or Loss of Voice, Dr..
Kilmer's Indian Cough Cure Consumption on
will relieve Quickly-remove the cause and
cure Price BIC So and LOO
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-09-01

N 2 " U-33
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1886-04-26

ben b~alot9en 8rieg bebeuten obne iebe Sc
tnahr, DUP oericIbt fir 0eutldLano g[ids
lI9 aeleitet uiiroe; ictu lartgeS Ne6en aber
iplroe Den Srteoeg SrDar aub ridt erbalz
ten fonnelt, es .tpilroe ieoo1 bic SteIung
9eutl6lanOS nab 4uBen ioiuett li9ern,
oaB atpti6en iein S1pert uao oen Seiuo
tetn 5inorrnib gelteut mIroe. @ebe Der
9itnmet Dem Giietnen &du3Ler NOD Ian &c
Sabre oas lit Deute Der tn6altSi@tpere
Wunl0 leOes einiihttaen OeutiNen.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1886-04-26
9WNcre 2suSFMten.
(GOrrsiponbenS Der wismsr 81. Sr. gr.fI..)

Berlin, 20. Mdrs.
Qtn l. &pril trttt Der belti6e Aetdsz
~fan5ler in iein 3tpeiunoiieb5igites2 2ebenss
iabr, ;ehn Sage lpGter, ais letu y6err" -
tDie CT NIT Gorliebe uno Stol3 lagt -bas
neun3iglte Sabr beganr. 8ire ole po.iz
ttlte YlaletenlteutuilI III oteieul Satire Die
frieolldtte, Die tpir erIebt babcn, 10 miibte
9lelhlpobl Der ftagen0e 0toante uns be-
l6dttl9en, % nidlt cine ploBllhe St0=
run3 oieler @%onlteliation eilltreten t0nnte,
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1886-04-26
gon NaD sttto 1ers..
sXnlall Y.

Der neue8 o # III et ter &etIeD
in Ginctnnatt, lpsl6er ben %oltltQ1otgs
item Oeuti6en Seperbern oorge5o9en ipuroe,
.gsbort gum ldle6teiten &beile Der oOrttgeI
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1886-04-26

9amburg, SremOrt So, Soma,
&. IA. NprtI, 1886.
Gin Die SainoiS Staatsstg.
SD bin ein oeuti6er 0aitbofbeiiber un6
lebe l6on 16 lange Sabre bier i'll Soma,
babe tlltlaer treu Die 0oriGrifteu Der @eleBe
betolgt. Da par IS @ottes Sbifuitg, DaB
nlet1e Srau fraut muroe; fe lit Ill elmer
boleu Scrambled, benz &reb5. SD i6idte
lie na6 Ct, Soiep6, I'M 9fettun9 gu
11den; aber letoer fam iie franf SuriG
nod 0alnburg; i1 beltelte Den Or.
@S1pt9ert bier, iDelher- mir iagte, i9
1ole t1r Jules gebet, mas tic aut
oteler Melt nod tuinide, aber Jtettung
Jet nt6t mOglth. SD lagte benz 0r.
S6tDtgert, Dap metne Trau @tt gum 0az
10en tbres tranten Gorper5 uno ettpaS
Net1 ODER Bler gum 3riuten DerIange.
@r ertDtoerte: v@ie6 ibr, mas ie nil"
Sb toHnte IS bier ni6t betommcn nno Der
OottDr 1aQte: vlal1e IS BON au5ipdrts t0nt>
men" Jtun lhidte th nab etnIgcn 0alz
loilen ON u1o et1em SAP Bier. Ralln
mar Elm S5etI OerbrauGT, Da fam inner
UtoDor Bea6, Der @onitabler 0utt5 uHD
Der Staotmar}nall " @eorge NeElD nit
etlem 0auslA6ungsbefebIe unO ourdz
"~"*NN NtNNb PNp9 ttOD w
l1lelrer Srau. SD lagGe, DaB oas Sler tllr
lrelne Srau gum Grinten unD Der Sin tlr
meine 8rau gum Wai0eu lei. Qber treB
oler meiner GiHwenoungen naDmen Die
0eleBooll3teber metner arlnen tral1teH
s5ran ben 9. QLprtl 1886 Ques fort. 6eute,
am IA. Nprtl, lit meiu armies 2SeiD geltor7
ben. Su Den lebten finf Ga8en MOLTEN pGe
l6tedlt0eH SempereuSIer nt6t etnrlal
elmer Sterbenoen eillen Grunf Bier ooer
9Setn ilber Die 3unge tommen lalle1. So,
tie lit toDt uno braud)E uiUtS mebr. Noer
tGl ais lebenoer @atte bite @ub, Dlele
S9anothat al ucr0fientliNer, bamtt ieoer
neraltafti8e Deutl6e ipeit meg Don Soma
bletbt lIno mbt III cIuen 10 u~nglllflI6sn
Staat tommt, 100 Ct nidt ALIEN ietn @IgelIs
tbullt, lonoerlt AUDI iejue Srelhett, pas
@oelite mas Der Wtenl6 bat, perlIert.
M6tuilgsooa
8ollentin 8teber9Olb.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-07-27

CHIcAeo, July "a
The day on change was quiet AMI somevhat
dragging, with 81 easier tone 10 wheat The mr.
ket as lower at 1870 Tor August, broke OF to
$40, rallied or reports of better export move
NE 70 9ot+e md closed at zoe. The eipts eere
and AT other points continue quite liberal.
Corn vas irly active and considerably unset
tied early n the ion The market ruled strong,
theE Cassd &c and again recovered but later on
reports OF ain IN Kansas became weak and de-
elIned 545Ie, recovered slightly ane closed I914c
under yesterday.
oats were inclined to be dull and heavy cary,
but developed strength later on, closing 1895
over yesterday
The fluctuations were very slight in provisions
ar the 81 closed at about yesterdays figures
FLUUE-Quiet and unchanged.
wHEAr-Generaliy lower and easier July,
1,A91512. e.osjnR at 75A August, 751aa76<,
closing At 7 September ,7sla5S5s, closing at
IORN-Fairly active and unsettled, closing ga
&c lower than Yesterday. CIsh, 40. July, 3y1s0y
R55 closing 4o1: August, 403I s4I1s, closing at
s sGS Ss eOs1Ds s5 az allied and
eosed 1926 higher than Yesterday. Cash, 1920
2gs4 August, zS5492S lI-i6 closing at 2S54; sep
tember, Zsss@SC5s. closing at 2s1%
RYE-Steady. No. 2, 53c.
BARLEY-Qu:et No. 2, 62e.
FLAXSEED-Firm. No /, OIL O5%.
MESS PORK-Quiet a1d easy aud SC lower
Cash, 81 55as 50; August, 81 5599 50, closing at
LARD-Quiet and easy. Cash. s. 521ss6 55
August, s. 5Z55d6 %, closing at 80 521&5 81 Sep.
tember, SIS SOa6 by, closing at IS sOs6 62h.
WHISkEf-steady at 81 IL.
BUTTER-FIrm. Creamery, i39lshc; dairy,
ll9IseH
EGGS-Iie.
Receipts-Flour, 300 barrels wheat, 80 Oco
bushels;' corn, $4,000 bushels oats, $4,000
Shipments-Flour. 5000 barrels; wheat, IS coo
bushels; corn. S59OOO bushels; oats, 900 bush
els rye, 500 bushels /; barley, $40 bushels
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-07-27

1t has been a noticeable popularity
of women; ever since the first mother
took so much time to adjust her fig
leaves, that they are never exactly
ready for church 1t is perhaps no
exaggeratiOn to say that more mascu-
line souls have been irretrievably
wrecked while waiting Sabbath
morning for their wives to get their
bonnets on, than from all other causes
combined. A man may get up In q
frame of mind as thoroughly adapted
10 the reception of religious instruc-
ten as sponge lie to gather water
he may be really repentant of all the
sins he has committed during the
week, and earnestly ambitious of atom
ing as far as he may for having on a
previous occasion slipped a nickel in
stead of a quarter into the
contribution box, resolving in
his present conscientious feeling TO
make amends for it, when all of his
good resolutions are put to fight by
the everlasting time his wife takes to
paint her lips, put lily white on her
cheeks, curl her beau catcher, knot her
ribbons. shake out the folds of her
dress, and put that jaunty little hat
on the top of her head at precise
angle of forty-twO and half degrees.
tits no exaggeration to say that many a
man has had his patience so utterly
upset by these devices that he has re-
ceived the drippings of the sanctuary
very much In the spirit that his body
would have taken a cold shower bath
on a winters morning. OF course it
is not pretended that women as a rule
indulge in this sort otpractice. There
are some noticeable exceptions to the
well regulated females of every COM
munity, and it is not for the benefit of
these that this article is written.