The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1886-08-21
'akeman Who Went
> to Church.
0 from the Burlington Qa.)
An Il We, and must be true-to

'uDTt' V 'i''fi'i 80 'll ilt' Hlil VI tIlt
f hlt says: "i went 10 church yes
hcerday."
j "Yes ?? / said, with that interest
ed infection that asks for more.
"And what church do you attend ?''
(which do you guess ?" he asked.
"Some union mission church 2" I
hazarded.
"Naw," he said, "I don't like to
run on those branch roads very
much. | don't often go to church,
and when / do, I want to run on
the main line, where your run is
regular and you go on schedule
time and don't have to wait on con-
nections. / don't like to run on a
branch. Good enongh, but don't
take it,"
"Episcopal?" 1 guessed.
"Limited express, he spid, "all
palace cars and 80 extra for seat /;
fast time, and only stop at the big
stations. Nice line, but too exhaus-
tive for a brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductors punch
and lantern silver plated, and no
train boys allowed. Then the pas
sengers are allowed to talk back at
the conductor; and it makes them
too free and easy. No, / couldn't
stand the palace cars. Rich road,
though. Don't often hear of a re-
ceiver being appointed for that
line. Some mighty nice people
travel on it, too.
"Universalist? ?" l suggested.
"Broad-guage," said the brake
man, "does too much COMPLIMENTS
ry business. Everybody travels on
pass. Conductor doesn't get
fare once in fifty miles. Stops at
all flag stations, and won't run into
anything but union depot. No
smoking on the train. NoI don't
ride on that road though l know
some good people who do run on
that road"
"Prysbyterian ?" asked.
"Narrow guage, eh ?" said the
brakeman, "pretty track, straight
as rule; tunnel right through Il
mountain rather than go around it;
spirit-level grade; passengers have
to show their tickets before they
get on the train. Mighty strict
road, but the cars are a little mar
row; have to sit one in seat, and
no room in the aisle to dance. Then
there's no stop over tickets, you've
got to go straight through to the
station you're ticketed for, or you
can't get on at all. When the cars
full, no extra coaches; cars built at
the shops to hold just so many, and
nobody else allowed on. But you
don't often hear of an accident on
that road. It's run right up to the
rules"
"Maybe you joined the free
thinkers 2" / said.
N'Scrub road" said the brakeman,
"dirt road bed and no ballast; no
time card and no train dispatcher.
All trains run wild, and every en-
gineer makes his own time, just as
he pleases, smoke if you want to;
kind of go-as-you-please road. Too
many side tracks, and every switch
wide open all the time, with the
switchman sound asleep and the
target lamp dead out. Get on as
you please and get off when you
want to. Don't have to show your
tickets, and the conductor isn't eX-
pected to do anything but amuse
the passengers. No, sir, / was Of
fered a pass, but don't like the line.
don't like to travel on a line that
has no terminus. Do you know,
sir, asked a division superintend-
ent where the road run to, and he
said he hoped to die if he knew. l
asked him if the general superin-
tendent could tell me, and he said
he didn't believe they had a gener-
al superintendent, and if they had
he didn't know any more about the
road than the passengers. asked
him whom he reported to, and he
said nobody / asked conductor
who he had got his orders from,
and he said he didn't take orders
from any living man or dead ghost.
And when / asked the engineer
who he got his orders from, he said
he'd like to see anybody give him
orders, he'd run that train to suit
himself or he'd run it into the
ditch. Now, you see, sir, Pm a
railroad man, and / don't care to
run on road that has no time,
makes no connections, runs no.
where, and has no superin-
tendent. 1t may be all right, but
I've railroadad too long to under
stand If