The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1886-12-20
Written for the LIGHT's Holiday Edition.
THE EDITING COMPoSITOR.
by "JEFF. JosLYN."


The smart Aieck" printer (aided and
abetted by a careless proof-reader) is
the bette noir OF the writer's existence.
He has caused more double-barreled,
hair trigger profanity than any other
pest known to ancient or modern his
tory. His forte lies In knocking the
bean-flling out of poets sentiment by
little "revises" Of his own In the rhym-
GUS matter into the humorist's articles,
and in gummixing things up generally
while setting up copy al his case.
10 excmplify:
A vealy, ardent lover sends In some
lines addressed to his souls idol, for
publication In the SlumgulliOn, after
this model:
"Fair lady oh, my fair lady,
My heart holds thee supreme
Since pedging me thy hand Of silk.
LIES been one joyful DREAM"
Ye gizzardless manipulation OF the
"stick" slaps 1t into cold type, thusly:
Land lady oh, my land lady
How very thin's your scheme;
In bringing me such blue skim-milk,
And swearing that it's cream"
Isn't such mutilation enough to insu-
late the most lamb-like sonneteer with
n woltish craving for be-lud In nine DIFF
ferent varieties Of olots? (Methinks 1
hear the publio's united response:
"Well, should vociferate to vocalize !')
Again. when the prose jester contrib
utes playful "skit" OF about the 40
cents.each, three-for-A-quarter" calibre,
VIZ:
why is q picture that 10 sent to an
etching exhibition like a merchant fall
ing In buslness!" Because both have
gone to the wall" The nse-wrecking,
point-spoiiing follower Of the art pre-.
sentative transmogriiles the answer into
q sentence that illustrates his Idea Of an
act OF terrestrial bliss. but which Is en-
tirely nOn-appli0able to the cOnundrum,
namely: because both have gone for
'ball'" Then the butt OF his malignant
didOes is mortified to Overhear unknown
persons In the street.cars with copy Of
the paper In their hand, calculating:
wat a first-quality insane crank that
wOuld-be funny man is that gets up
these far fetched jokes for the Slumgul-
lion !" or THAT bum, Is witless
concoctions ought to be rammed down
his throat with crOw-bar," and other
painful criticisms Ofhis literary pr0wess.
He also cuts up oapers with the min
ister's sermon In the Monday morning
edition. The reader can Judge which OF
the following Ia the parsons phraseOl0-
gy. and which is the quoin-slinger's:
"And when this wicked mortal, reek-
ing with the unpurged sins OF lifetime,
Ia expiring In the agOnies Of an awful
end, then, his repentance-but alas, too
late-will manifest itself In these last
final words of advice, begotten OF q sad
experience. to his fellow man: Never
try to bluff q 'stayer' on one small
pair" The Mortified divine mayn't
know much about poker" but he'll
feel like breaking good old heavy iron
pillar when his eye lights upon his sac
riligeously msltreated remarks.
In my high.priced opinion no further
citations are necessary to prove that
this member Of the International union
mo. 2l8, 500 ,43l ,07l or thereab0uts) who
'pi's" up the authors MS. till 1t looks
like Sanscrit tumble or an Obelisk In
scriptiOn, is q large dissgreeable wart
on the face Of the civilized globe, and
needs to be removed. He should be
mayhemmed, hari-karied, and eternally
combustifcated. A blot on Americas
esoutOheOn, let US poor, d0wn-trodden.
spit.upOn and misqu0ted genluses Of the
press (including "pktent insides'') revolt
against the tyrant OF the composing
room, and with one ferOcious onslaught
erase him from the Presentness OF the Is!
Yes. I've been q victim myself; and
have "got 1t in for the Editing Com
pOsitOr" with the same degree OF thug
gish venom rs keep cOrked up for the
fellow who daily perpetrates this h0ary-
headed, Methuselah- anoestOred pun, on
meeting me: "Ah! still Joslyn' around
l see?"
II ever do take this job In my own
hands, mot waiting for my brother PEN
wrestlers to join me In the righteous
crusade) and unbOttle my wrath In pro-
pria persona against the X. c., there
will be phenomenslly sudden death as
sessment levied among the Printers
Mutual Relief Fraternity for the benefit
Of his bereaved family,-now you hear
mo alOantaf