Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1886-06-19

most people prefer. There is nothing
vulgarly alarming about nothing
to startle the most susceptible case OF
nerves, nor to suggest to the loiterers
of life the advisability of their 6 NOV
ing on."-more's the pity. A pace is
the popular average rate of speed for
tempus to fugit, and tho the years
fly around life's race course with the
vigor of an immortal Jay-Eye-See,
only the aged admit that each succeed
ing year seems to beat its own record.
But as to the glorious 4th that is
knocking at the Corporation gates for
an official salutation and a National
Eagle-screaming-sort of recognition,
what are you going to do with it, o
City Grandfathers The spiritual
eye FOR two of theml of that grand
old Virginia gentleman and pioneer
of Liberty as it was in the beginning,
&C., &C., are upon you, according to
the regular 4th of July oratorio; Pm
not willing to make an affidavit to
that effect before the grand Jury, of
which statement the proper officials
will please take notice, and if I had
tongue halfso eloquent as that of
the City Band, / would strive to
translate for you the chords of agony
that must prevail in the being of our
non-prevaricating ancestor, when he
sees the blood-bought inheritance
which he had SO emphatic an argu-
ment with his British neighbors to
obtain and to hand down to posterity,
being disinherited and snubbed, as it
were, by that same.
Ifyou can't do any better give the
poor children of the town a free ex-
cursion. The cost of individual beers
for the day would, if contributed by
the citizens, cover all expenses. AS
the ladies never drink beer they
might be taxed under cover of ICE
cream. Anyway, do something more
than to destroy fire cracker or two
or you will have no trouble at all in
convincing our neighbors in surround
ing citadels that the patriotic fire
burns low, never to revive its glow.
N. B. Don't mistake the above for
a 4th of July grafton, because I
trimmed it with poetic fringe-not at
all. If it stood on such merit it
would like more of its kind very
soon have to sit down from weak
ness.
It's notable fact that the popula-
tion of this town is fast doubling it's
self up, and no jesting reference to
the much abused cucumber, which
isn't half so green as the party who
gives it lodging in the department of
the interior, sans CiUH Serrice en-
dorsement. But as to the original re-
mark if you need convincing, start
out for promenade some evening
along any of the frequented streets,
ohu y ou biCCt tiiO ALLY VI TIC 1lilO-
cents. In rank and file, from the
rawest of recruits, to the most preco-
cious tatterdemalion that ever beg
ged for a penny, or pulled a cigar
stump. But it's of the babies / speak
and what pretty assortment ofhelp-
less humanity in small samples
There are big samples of the same
kind they are, as they are trundled
along in carriages, the baby's modern
home, nowadays; sometimes lost in
blissful unconsciousness, but oftener
with the widest of wide open eyes,
black, blue, brown, grey, with flashes
of that dormant light we call intelli-
gence. sending out inquiring, fitful
CLEANS to answer the sound of a |
tender voice, or the touch of soft
caress. Heaven bless the babies, and
deal gently with the villain whom L
heard remark on Queen Street the
other evening that baby carriages
were a snare and delusion where
with to trip up the unwary and cause
them to use vigorous language after
when the recording angel
had no longer chance to blot it out ;
and who furthermore limited very
that if those adjuncts of civ
ilization were not known, the primi-
tive method of strapping babies Sc
curely above the fashionable hustle
would come into general use, and be
much more desirable condition of
affairs for a crowded sidewalk. AS
there is no doubt but that this I'M
guarded young man would be boy
cotted by the women. and his pros
poets matrimonial crushed by the
girls, if his identity were known, ]
shall not tell on him. Marriage will
cure him of all such communistic ten
denotes, and inhuman speeches.
For vagaries of general disability
in the line of an art gallary, the
Louisville Courier Journal ought to 20
up head. A week ago they presented
a cut of the Presidents morther-in
law, beside that of the President and
labeled it Mrs. Cleveland. AS
mother-in-laws rate, who knows but
they may have builded better than
they knew.
In this weeks issue there are car
features of the wives of all the Presi-
dents, which, as I heretofore remark
ed for general disability are unriv-
allied, and which are enough to cause
snch beauties as Mother Martha
Washington, and Dolly Madison to