Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1886-09-28

y
Il Am free and snlightsnsd citilsa o
this glorious rspablic. and I claim th'
proud privilege Of sojovins Me-. Arsmu'
Wards anecdotes When | enjoy any
thius laugh oa, loud. and when laugh
make . noise. cast no rsa.ctioa on
yoa. my f.lIo~.ci,issns. but lie clear TO
me your heads are too thick for Mr.
Wards stories TO psnstrsis. l. The
rest Of the sentence Was lost In the COO
fusion tha, followed.
"'Oa, With him =
"'who IL he'
eli Hi Pitch him into the poad :
"'Dy up"
"And hundreds Of similar observation
rem, the air. pantomimed to Smith Il
withdraw. lie obeyed I; and. peace be-
ing restored. I proceeded. This episode
rather amused me. and ! fell into my bes
vein told them snscdots ahsf snec.
do,e. story after story. and frsl of .
fa.ilsds Of crisp and biting jests. IL VA
no use. could not for the soul Of me
rouse them TO any outward expressions o.
appreciation OF enjoyment. Then fell
veIsd: q, las, I grew whimsieally vicious
10 my despair. 10 for . penny. 10 for q
pound. though, I; when suddenly stop
ped. and. glArins st certain man 10 tbs
sudis nee. pointed at him With my index
has-r. and. looking ct my watch. said {;
Ladies and gentlemen. for three
quarters Of en- hour | have been trying
my hlrdes, to dig . laugh oas OF you.
Up TO nov haven't succeeded. don't
~sh to be personal. ba, II that man With
the red hair and the long nose doesn't
laugh sOoa. | shall stop ,hn so.smniiy
and 20 aud hang myself."
"rhs audience. ~ho had passsd over
.oms mighty foe wheelss anil fs~
-ell efaasd Joe Millsn, regarded this
allusion to ths red haired man With the
loag nose u . tremendous local joke
~hieh they thoroughly understood. sad
they simply %, up . howl. IL turned
on, ths, the victim OF my darinsly in.
pertinent observation Vas . political
tailor oa the unpopular sids Of the hoa'e.
~ho ~.. Ia the habit Of being violently
eh.d,d q, to~n mes,iass. nsd made
. aaks-a hit grand and unezPes,sd
coup and wound up my lecture "
quickly ss possible. hs,ias secured. n
say rate, oae resonant. rinsins oa,oas,.
IL IL true | bad no, calculated on this
combined result Of sadAeity and accident;
bat | felt the aadisaes had he'd some.
thing Zoe their moasy. and h.d not len
their iom,. ea,irsly 10 vain. Az they
prepared to di.p-r.e said;
+" 'Oa. laii.s add ssa,lsmsn. forgot
10 mention that there Is key TO ih"
lecture. an explanatory sscoad part
~hich | shall deliver ,hi, day three
weeks Ia Washington Any persoa -ho
feels that he has not mastered my saojsct
IN iu vAnou, details ~ill be given free
tieks, to Washington. In case he would
ike To a,ieai. may also cay that
~ill o. st tns Biek hJtsl to.moffo< up
TO 7:3OA NJ. and anyone vho wishes
to coafsr With m, Ia regard to the jikes
I have perpe,raisd. l shall haze graf
pls..ar- 10 explaining thsm aad she'd
ding any light 90 EN- in my Po"sf.
And bear ia miad. make NJ extra
charge for this.
"rhs sadisnes rolled oa,. ehs'tsrins
away. and my faithful J. p. smith stood
st the do1r to oolIsc, opinions
"'whAt did they seem TO ssyE !
asked. when We 70, to the hotel and
we're to,iinx up the receipts
"'s.y." replied Smith. "wsll.
woaldn, like To repeat ell ! heard; but
one man said he guessed you we're
laughing si them Ia your slesvs. and
,ha, yoa were . fraud. anyho~. and gsn.
tly in,iaaa,ed thu, the next time YOU
visited Goshen you'd better have Jour
life Insured. Another man said you
nigh, be smsr, enough for some towns.
but you wasn't up TO the marx Tor
Goshen,
"Here the landlord OF the Back joined
u, and asked us to participate 10 cigar.
lie seemed . good.natared man, and !
vsn,assd 70 ask him what be thought Of
my lecture.
".wsl,' said he. With crushing Ut.
b.ni,y. and frank sHprssaioa danced
into hi. homes, blue eyes. 81 didn't quite
get . grip Of wha, voc were Psesehin
about. You see, I'm no, much OF
hand for shows and .ieh like; but, by
the gres, United States. when you pintsd
on, ths, Or red.hard rooster With the
long beak-wal must say l tho~t 1t
were the bes, thing ever heerd 10 my
."--Ne,0 York Mirror.