The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-12-22
The Parental Z" Nos

1t is hard for parents to say - MOI
and harder still for them to say it so that
children shall know that " No lis meant.
With the severe experience and train
ing of the fathers of our country-and
these fathers embraced, in their meth
dds and manners, all the mothers-has
gone the meaning of many words which
are spoken, ard " No" is one of them.
But there is no more important word
for a parent to speak, none that he
should utter more carefully, none that
he should use with such certainty of its
being understood. | shall never for
get scene that occurred years ago at
Clarendon Springs. A father and his
little son were resting after long walk
upon the grassy slope of a hill that
ended abruptly in precipice. The
little boy, unconscious of all danger,
asked to run about and gather flowers
that grew near the brink. The father
said: " No, my son." "Why mayn't
|, father?' was the natural question of
the little lad. Then up spoke a stern,
old man, with wrinkled face and silver
hair, who was sitting near, "Because
your father tells you so, boy.
His severe words gave an emphasis
to the paternal No" which was never
forgotten, and that youth grew to man
hood and never again questioned the
wisdom of his fathers decision with
another Why mayn't l, father?"
Perhaps it is harder for the parents to
say ono" to daughters than to sons.
Young men learn soon, if they learn at
all, that obedience is necessity in the
management of business, and of all af-
fairs where duties are to be done and
trusts executed. They see others do
what they are told to do without ques-
ton and without hesitation, and they
learn to give and to expect a prompt
response to authority. But with young
women it is different. 1t seems hard to
cross their wishes, to tell them that
what they desire to do is foolish and
dangerous, and that they cannot do it.
1t is difficult to convince any woman by
argument, for their reasoning faculty is
not often very active, and if the affec-
tons are enlisted it is impossible to
carry any case by logic. The parent
must be able to say g. Non in such a
manner that it will carry conviction
which argument could not produce
simply because it is the word of one
who is loved and reverenced. The
daughter will say: " Father, do not
agree with you, but | know that YOU
are wiser and more experienced than |
am, and that you love me with all your
heart, and will obey you" 1t takes
a dutiful and loving hear to make such
an answer
A father and mother once sent fol
me to talk with their daughter, who
was set upon marrying an attractive but
worthless man. They had exhausted
their arguments and appeals, and the
| girl was unmOved. | knew the man, a
shallow-pated actor at low theaters and
a reciter of comic poetry at travelling
shows. | told the girl Just what he was
and the sort of lover he would be; that
he cared nothing former except as a pass
ing fancy, that his profession was not
one which offered her the prospect of a
happy life, that he would desert her as
he had done others, and | used all the
influence which had to delay, and, il
possible, prevent her ruin, but in vain.
She only said that he loved her, anC
that | was lea gued with her parents tC
| prevent her from becoming the happiest
woman in the world; and a few days
after she ran away with her lover. A
mock marriage ended after few
months in misery and divorce; and
the parents took back their daughter, a
blighted flower, to grow old, and ugly
and peevish, and unhappy in the house
where she might have been an orna
ment and help. If the child had been
taught from the cradle to respect the
parental " No." and if that 9 No" haC
been wisely uttered, the maiden woulC
not have gone so sadly wrong.
The parental Judgment seems preju
diced to Young eyes, and there is some
times lack of sympathy between the
heart that beats slowly as years retarC
its action and the heart that throb,
rapidly with each fresh impulse OF
youth. But if there is true love between
parent and child the child may be sure
that the fathers or mothers " No" is
never harsh, and rarely a prejudiced
decision. The parent who desires tC
make his children happy must begin
while yet they are young, not to thwar
them in every little impulse and &C
tion-but to say "No," when it il
necessary and judicious, with such so
lemnity and emphasis that it shall NJ
more be questioned or evaded than thu
laws of nature or the DEGREES of Cod
| IUgtStltS. in Ncip York Observer.