Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-15
THE TWO REPORTERS.
One Got = Permanent Situation and tn g
other Failed.

O0e GOT y Kofm8nenb EAtudbASh aAN bhO
other Failed.
Once upon a time, says the Washington
Critic, two reporters, seeking position on
great morning newspaper, with the largest
circulation in the world, as the afidavits OF
the business manager and the office boy would
testify, we're sent by the managing editor to
distant and lonesome resort where the
President was enjoying his honeymoon, in
order that they might send back to the paper
competitive reports, whereby their respec-
tive merits might be determined upon
and the place given to the more worthy. They
arrived at the place at O'Clock In the after
noon. ana at they saw the President emerge
from his cottage, walkdown to little bridge
and return. After that nothing more was
seen of him or his bride, nor could any intor-
aston be obtained. At midnight they handed
their respective reports to the telegraph ope-
rator, and this is what the managing editor
received from the first man:
"The President took a short walk to the lit
tie bridge near the cottage and returned. He
has not been out Of the house since. All
SERENE"
This is what the other man sent:
"As the god OF day sank behind the i'm
pending SUBMITS of the Alleghauies this af-
ternoon, the newly created Benedict emerged
from the beautiful cottage in which he and
his bride are passing their blissful honey
moon for short stroll. He pulled the door
of the cottage shut with his right hand, while
in his lett he carried stick. This stick was
been cut in the mountain near the Executive
Mansion, and was still in It's rough state,
although slightly whitfield round at the hand
end It was cut at 2:30 this afternoon. The
President took three steps and half across
the piazza, and the half step off the edge to
the steps leading to the ground. He wore
Prince Albert coat, dark pants, low
cut shoes and silk hat. As he
reached the walk in front of the house,
it was noticed that there was a
wrinkle in the Presidents pants at each knee,
and small piece of string chung deusiVely to
his left trouser leg. There were also five new
and inexperienced wrinkles in the narrative
of his Prince Albert, and the conclusion in
stantly forced Itself upon your correspon-
dents mind that the President, in the excite
ment of the moment, had sat down on his
coat tails. One button also gave indications
of being loose, and there were four well de-
fined specks of dust on the collar a little
northwest of the seam running across from
the shoulder. How these specls accumulated
your correspondent was unable to discover,
but ne has good reasons to believe the Presi-
dent shook tnem down from the ceiling rs he
slammed the door in coming out Of the cot
tage. He walked slowly down the path
in direction leading to the point
which he desired to reach, ana faint
smile was seen playing over his
features This smile was encored five times
during the Presidents walk. His right shoe
string hung down half inch lower than his
left shoe string, but he did not stop to change
his toilet. His shoes were made in New York
and shipped to Washington by express four
weeks before the wedding day, and they did
not hurt his feet. When he reached the
right foot back Of his left, he slowly turned
around and retraced his steps. He looked up
into the clear sky on four distinct occasions.
but did not see anything there, because a
careful examination by your correspondent
developed the fact that there was nothing
to see. He wore q white shirt and a white
collar, and his necktie was black and tied
IN simple. plain bow knot, with the
ends resting on the lappels of his coat in a
coniding manner. He noticed the white
thread on his left trouser leg just as he reached
the cottage steps. and. bending down care
fully, he removed 1t ana threw it into the
grass near the path. Your correspondent
afterwards picked it up, and it was found TO
be cotton raveling off of a towel or napkin.
and was an inch and half long, with a small
knot in one end Of it. The President gave a
short cough as he went up the steps into the
cottage, His hair as it showed under his hat
was smooth with the exception OF one hair
loose Whlsker in his moustache. His color
was good and his step was as steady as SOL
dier's. AS he reached the piazza fly lit on
his nose. 1t was only an ordinary house fly.
and the President, after one or two neffectual
muscular coutractions, raised his right hand
and brushed the thoughteas intruder away.
1t flew off IN northeastern direction, aud
lit on the railing of the piazza. where it care
fully brushed Its wings with its rear limbs, as
flies are wont to do. At exactly 5000 O'Clock
the President opened the door of the cottage
with his left hand. stepped over the threshold
and disappeared within the COTTAGE"
The managing editor carefully read these
two reports, and, taking out his writing ma
terials indited two letters to the reporters.
One of these said, "Your services are not
wanted" We leave the reader to decide
which reporter received this letter.