Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-09-01
Geronimo and Dave Jones.

said the man with bald spot on the
top of his head. 81 wouldn't ask that
of stranger but for my misfortune"
Family all dead of some epidemic,
| suppose?"
"No, sir. never had family,
and as for epidemics, they have no
use for me. Stand off and take
square look at me, and then tell me
where an epidemic would begin busi-
ness on the Hon. Dawson Jones"
ut would be a poor show" unused
the reporter. "How came you to be
an Hon.?"
Used to be a member Of the Ari-
zonia Legislature, sir. The Speaker
of the House used to recognize me as
the gentleman from Ehrenburg."
"Well, what is your misfortune?"
"Scalped by the Apaches, sir. In
deed, l had the honor of almost being
scalped by Geronimo himself. I'll
tell you about it. was out OH my
cattle ranch in Arizona one day, when
Geronimo first broke away from the
reservation. That was five years ago.
| was suddenly surrounded by thirty
Apache bucks, and was ut once con-
Quoted into the presence of the noted
chief.
"'Good morning, Gerry says |.
"'Goo1 morning, Dave, says he.
"You see we were on good terms,
and addressed each other by our given
names. / asked him what was up,
and he told me he had started out on
the war-path, and that my scalp would
be number one. took it as a Joke
at first, and tickled Gerry in the ribs,
but he soon convinced me that he was
in dead earnest. His braves wanted
to have some fun with me by cutting
off my ears and nose, and burning me
at the stake, and so on, but Gerry
shook his head and replied
"'Not this eve, my bully boys.
Dave Jones is square man, and al
though l must have his scalp to orna.
ment my belt, he shan't be hurt any
more than is possibly necessary
Who's got that can of laughing-gas 2
"a buck brought it forward, and
Gerry asked me to sit OH the ground
and take the tube and inhale the stuff.
1t was exactly like what the dentists
use, and you will agree with me, sir,
that it was very kind in Gerry. l
thanked him warmly for that he was
about to do, and then proceeded to in
hale. The last thing before my eyes
was buck sharpening his knife on
his leggings and winking at me with
his left eye. There was a roaring in
my ears, my eyes closed, and when l
recovered consciousness Gerry had my
scalp in his hand, and was saying:
"'Come, now, Dave, but l really
believe it has improved your looks
fifty per cent
"The operation didn't hurt me a
cents worth for the first ten minutes,
but after that the pain was pretty bad.
You see, the buck who scalped me
was little rusty for want of work
with his knife, and he had taken con-
siderable more than the Injun custom
called for. Gerry gave him blow
ing up about it, saying that it was
reckless extravaganza to waste a mans
scalp in that manner, but as | didn't
kick, the storm soon blew over. Ger
ry furnished me with rag to tie over
the spot until l reached home, and
advised me not to be out in the night
air for the next ten days. We parted
the best of friends. He carried off
my scalp-lock, but he had no hard
feelings toward me. 1t was just his
Injun way, you know. Owing to the
weather, the wound didn't heal up
properly, and the result has been fits
and loss of mental power. didn't
want but ten cents, sir"
He got it.-Free Press.