davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
SETTLED.
Anon

Harry once had an ardent affection
For two lovely girls confessed
He was puzzled TO make a selection,
Since each in her turn seemed the best
He constantly tortured his mind 10
Determine the endless debate;
Sometimes il was Maud he inclined to
Sometimes ii was Kate.
II Maud had face like fairy,
Yet Kate had a form like queen;
As Maud was yivaciOus and airy,
So Kate was sedate and serene;
While years passed with Maud as his wife would
Bring happiness nothing might safe,
An equally rapturous life would
BE given by Kate.
And long he remained undecided
Which one he preferred Of the two;
Between such attractions divided,
What was the poor fellow TO do:
TheSe doubts in anxiety kept him
Until he attempted his fate,
To fnd-that Maud wouldn't accept him,
And neither would Katel
Manly Il. Pike in Life
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
aRless uou. nv Children.

@Moor's the pity thou didst not do it, il
thou wished to stand sold with me" spake
the exalted sheik to the abashed interrupter;
and then, turning, he called out the blushing
and delighted Princess MazOurka and placed
her south paw in Lieut. Barnaby's hand, say
ing: Here, Squinkey, old boy, take the ga
Eelle of my family to thy bosom; If any
woman can make You happy, shsik canl
Son-in-law, you shall bo GeneralisSimo of all
the soldiely around tine Emir Ali-magooze-
Ium's palace. Bless you, my children; bless
you!Io "JEF JoSLYN."
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28


Once forward and back, and the emir's
curved steel slashed a piece of the corded
stripe of rank off the lIeutenant's pants.
Chaser right and left and again Squink loses
point by having button carved from his
coat But balance in the middle-to the
death-and light was. let in that Bey- Window
by Lieut. Barnaby's cutlasS running him
through the bread basket. FOUL gasped
the expiring emir; ~he punched me below
the belt!" but his protest was futile, and
soul went up to its Allah!.!
Il told you ! wouldn't prove TO be that
MuSSel-man's OYSTER" calmly observed
Squink to Buckingham, as he wiped the gore
of his wicked blade across the broad back OF
awed Haylfed Digna, and ruined that
worthy's best Sunday -go-tO-mosque cream
white cloak with its crimson stain.
CHAPTER Iv-rHE SANCTIONED BETRoTHAL-
Morning on the plains Of Nezjeb! The
sirocco Of the day previous has spent its force,
and all is warm and peaceful Sheikh Ali
magoozelum, with his beautiful female
progeny, sits outside in the shade and
watches two approaching horSemen from the
direction of Zanzibar. The first to arrive is
Lieut. Squink. "BegOne, scion Of a degen-
crate people; press not again thy useless suit.
The Princess MazOurka mates not with such
as thee!" exclaimed the aged paternal Arab,
and then "led the d. F. with Light Fantastic
Toe, by her ear into the tent But what if
bring you good news" persisted our hero
Barnaby That, of course, might make
diff" granted Ali-magoozelum. We'll, firstly
have become a convert to the Mcslem faith,
and resigned from her majesty's service;
and secondly, the tribes have installed you
chief ruler in the place of the enlir, who has
defuncted How is that for high.'
Yes, and 'e-nlirdered him!' here broke in
Ha(yjfed Digna, the second rider, who had
just galloped up, and pointing to the lieu
tenant
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

jim Fargo is one Of the best fellows in the
world, with the exception that he will take an
occasional drop. His wife, good woman,
keeps her eye on him, however, and he finds
it difficult to get anything without going
some distance for it. Some friends called on
Jim the other day and had hard work 10 find
him At last he was dis ,Overei crawling out
from under the barn. covered with dirt and
cobwebs, but evidently very sober. Eyeing
himself for moment, he turned an abstract
ed, dissatisfied look upon his friends and re-
marked briefly:
"It's singular what's become of that jug. y
Detroit Free Press.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

An Irishman employed by firm under the
hill recently went 10 J. R. Booths glazing
shop for some glass, when the following col
loquy took place: Visitor-Mr. Painchaud,
am after fixing the windys on the top of Mr..
B. 5 shop, and l want twiHty lights of 14x10
glass Mr.. P-I haven't any 14xlO, but have
plenty Of l0xl4. Visitor lafter meditating
deeply awhile and then looking up with
satisfied exp EesSiOn)-Be jabers, l will take
the 1Oxl4 I can turn it around and, faith,
they won't know the difference. Burlington
free Press.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
He Knew Their Weak Point.

Newly elected member Of congress TO a
committee Of the Women's Suffrage associa-
toni will present your bill, ladies, before
the house, but you must remember that
every voter must be 81 years old, or over that
age, 10 vote.
Middle-aged Committeewoman-Oh, dear
lie, girls, we never thought Of that; we had
better let 1t go for few years until we are
old enough.-TeIas Siftings.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
The Sunday Question.

A little girl OF s. anxious to do a little
work on her dolls dress sat down last Sun
day with needle and thread and began sew
ing Her mother told hor to put her things
away, because it was Sunday, adding! You
know God does not like to have you sew on
Sunday" The little girl laid aside her needle
and remained thinking for a few moments,
when she broke out with: Mamma, do you
suppose He would care if I ripped littlel"-
Boston Budget
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

They tell of a singular thing that happened
at Greenwood lake the other day. The little
son of Mr.. Wishbone, years of age-the son,
not the Old man-had been in the habit of
feeding the pickerel that abound in the lake,
especially one of enormous size. One day the
little fellow, while engaged at this from
boat in front Of his fathers resijanna fell
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
To Soothe the Savage Breast.

"Mary, suppose you sing something"
"Ob, it's 50 late, Charlie. I'm afraid it'll
awake every one
That's too bad" exclaimed Charley with
every appearance of distress.
But why do you want me to sing, dearI"
she tenderly inquired.
why. you see he replied, "a fellow owe
s. to has been waiting outside all evening .or
me, and thought may be If you'd sing little
he'd go away "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
@No; she's out in the back yard shakin' the
dinin' room carpet"


DELICATE COMPLIMENT.
"Mrs DeaImont, Of Chicago, and Mrs
Waldo, of Boston, are to lunch with me to-
day said lady to her husband, but |
hardly know what to give them Il would
suggest, T." replied the husband, that delicate
compliment u both ladies wOulG be a dish of
pork and beans"
A CHICAGO NIGHT PICTURE.
He came in very late, and while cropping
about in the dark delivered himself Of the
following:
"(HicD-! thicl-M thic)-,,.'
Are you addressing such language TO me,
sirf' demanded his wife from under the bed
clothes
"No, m dear, he said, Il wash speakin' t
tn coal scuttle'
AN INCONTROVERTIRT.E FACT.
"ChiCago may he a great city" remarked a
St Louis drummer to professional brother
from the former place, she may be big
city. a high, wide and deep city, wicked
city, but"-aud his manner was impressive
'she can't play hail
The Chicago man, in his despair, hurled
himself through the open car window.
LARGE HEART.
"SmpkinS is a soft fellow remarked Miss
Brown, but he must have big heart. He
told me that a Chicago girl tried TO trample
on it, but couldn't do it. New York Sun.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

Gilhooly has fine pointer, but Gus De
Smith has none.
"Let us go hunting tomorrow" said Gus.
"But how will you get along without dog
You haven't got any"
"Of course | haven't any dog. IL had a
dog of my own, do you suppose I'd ask you
to go alongF-Texas Siftings
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
A ROMANCE OF THE sAaAcsN EAST.
How q Bright Britisher BambooIIed Q
Willy Moslem,
CHAPTER THE DISGUISED TRAVELLER

WHY moslem.
CHAPTER THE DISGUISED TRAVELLER
A binding sirocco sirocked across the arid,
sand covered plains Of Nezjeb II also rocked
the tent of Sheikh Ah-magoozelum till its oc-
Cupant and his fair daughter, the Princess
Mszourka, or The Dancing Fawn with q
Light Fantastic Toe" feared they would be
picked up bodily and waited over into the
Red sea, which, was only few leagues away
by the cyOlometer distance recorder attached
to their hired livery camel. Suddenly the
neigh Of a barb-wire steed was heard above
the blast, and a voice crying in the nomadic
tribal tongue at the dooriiap: Peace be with
youl Open in the name of the prophet"
The old Arab asked in reply: "Who cometh
70 the abode of true believerT' An answer
came: "A poor Bedouin who has lost his
way in the storm. Can get bed, OH ii
here for the nightf' "Nixey, Gully. don't
Keep a lodging house! There's several low
priced taverns over in Muscat; so you must
scat right away from here" was the inhoS-
pitahle rejoinder.
And the poor wayfarer SEATED" mur-
muring the while in pure queens English:
Fooled again. No elopement this eve;
Smother eve"
Emir Bey-Window strobe the streets of
Zanzibar at MONDAY in perturbed mood and
sandals. Strange" he Quoth, as he smote
the handle Of his yataghsn with impotent
rage, that the Princess Mazourka should be
come so infatuated with that dog of Briton
Lieut. Barnaby Squink, Of the Ship Marines,
as to refuse me, a follower of the preccpts of
the Koran, and the boss native dude from
the straits of Babel Mandeb to the desert OF
Sahara Verify, the Dancing Fawn with an
L. F. T. must be off her base
"Shoot the dicer!" was an ejaculation be
hind him; and before Boy Window could put
himself on guard, his hated rival in fatigue
uniform had smote his caftan to the ground
with a malicious cane.
"Vile iufidei, howlcd the emir; "just meet
me around back of the postoflice this after
noon ere the dew begins to fall, and, by the
bones of Mahomet I'll split your beef eating
form on this trusty blade and throw the car
rion carcass TO the swine"
Thanks" drawled the dashing naval Off
Ger in aggravating tones; Il will Mecca pill
grimage to the appointed place Of slaughter
ct the desired hour But put your sersglio
in order for a first class funeral over third
class corpsA, by the way, for the name Of
Bey-Window will be Dennis after the scrim-
mage! Ta-ta"
CHATTER TI-THE CODE DCELLO.
The emr's second, Haylfed Digna, who
stood on his digndty at the fighting ground,
and Squink's best man, Capt NaSavOur Ions
dale Buckingham, soon arranged prelimi-
naries for the scrap" and decided it should
be a rough-and- tumble sword contest.
Come on, spawn Of a foreign race!' yelled
Let her 60, Gallagher" nonchalantly
Clipped in Squink.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
Proof.

'.rhey wouldn't let Inc work, Susan, cause
I'm out with them Knights, an wasn't a
union man"
"Lawks, Jabez l can stand your being out
Wild em nights, but ies take your penshun
papers round an show 'em you was Union
man an always will be. e."-Harper's Weekly.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

A station indicator is the latest invention,
recently patented by young lawyer Of Nash
vile, Tenn. The machines can be attached
20 each car in train, and by the pulling Of
a cord brakeman registers the approaching
station. The dial on which the words are
printed is in full view OF the passengers-
Chicago Times
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
Body and Mind.

II we carefully examine our mental
states, we shall find that they rise or fall,
become large and noble, or betting and
cramped, as the body remains healthy
and vigorous. or eufeeblsd and abnormal
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28


Mamma" said all innocent of years old,
when grow to be woman, will get mar
ried and have a weidingF
Il hope so, my dear. Why do you askf'
said mother.
Because, mamma, l sha'n't ask you to my
wedding"
NO! Why not, Mamie,"
Why, mamma, you didn't ask me to
yours"
DISCHARGED.
Magistrate-The young woman says that
your continued staring at her annoyed her
excessively.
Prisoner-I never Intentionally annoyed
woman in my life, your honor
Magistrate-Thenw why did you stare at her
so persistentlyl
Prisoner-Because she is pretty and l
couldn't helpit.
Young Woman-Let him GO, judge.-Life.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

exceeding 10, 900 feet in height. Wheeler's
peak, 13. 036 feet above the level of the
sea, has the distinction Of being the high.
est point in Nevada.-Boston Budget.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

Applicant-Td like a-a-a-p!-place in
the-the- e-postotfice
Postmaster-Ab, indeed Have you any
preferencet
Applicant-The-tbe- -im-immediate de-de-
livery de-department, sir.-Pittsburg Chron-
icla
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28
PATS LOVE EPISODE.
His Persistent CourtshiP Has a spooney
Termination.

Termination.
"She's consintid at last! Fur two years I'd
thoht dale ov Nelly McCusker, only had
nothin ov an Irish bye's bouldness to up and
tell her that same But Yesterday sez to
mesilf; Pat Murky, now's yer tonne, or
niverr
Nelly was in the pantry washin' the dishes
an sumthin' shouted: AK herI She's too
busy to look at yer, onyway.'
so starts on wild: 'Troth, Nelly, it's 9
bad loife for bye TO be livin' alone
"'YiS,' sez she, wild nary twinkle, Mike
Ryan, that's jst bin sint TO prison, is in bad
way, indade'
Och sez l, there's many bye that's
lonely livin' rite wild his friends an naybors-
Sure an I'm lonesome mesilf'
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

The Winnipeg man who sold his wife and
three children TO a neighbor for $40 did very
wrong. He should have held on for SIS
nyhoW.-Cambrids Chronicle.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

mo, ma'am; those are two articles we don't
keep; but the oysters, think, you will find
at the postoifice- and bananas you can get
across the way, at the barber. ."-HarPer's
BaZar.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

Ths whole French infantry will will be
provided with new rifles next spring The
cost Of the change will amount TO s9o, 900, 600
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

Ten thousand acres Of undeveloped land in
Mississippi will be put in cultivation by
northern capital next year.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

on THE ROLLING DEEP.
First PaSSenger-Well, old boy, what's up
this afternoon Second Passenger-All but
the SOuD
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

Yes said passenger in a street car, who
was arguing with friend, "soure men are
born great, others achieve greatness, and
soIne"-just then lurch of the car landed
fat woman in his lap-"and some" he con-
concluded, "have greatness thrust upon
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

-nrrCnant traveller.
An hour glass is made smallest in the mid
die 1t shows the waste Of tiDe.-The Critic.
-Liberty's mouth is just yard wide" an
exchange says. But the most notable thing
about it Is that she always keeps it shut
Observe she!-Buffalo Express.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-28

Ata cuurt OF asslstaiTc5 OF the Honor
able Artillery company held at Armory
house, Finsbury, recently, it was resolved,
on motion of Capt. Woolmer- Williams,
THAT the court at its next meeting do
take into consideration the best means OF
celebrating the 350th anniversary of the
Incorporation Of the regiment, occurring
on Aug. 25, 1881" 1t is understood
that the event will be made the occasion
for great festivities, which will be at
tended by representative number Of the
members of the Ancient and Honorable
Artillery company of Boston, United
States, an "offshoot" Of the regiment
which was founded by a member of the
Honorable Artillery company of London,
who emigrated to Boston in 163S-S0
years after the Incorporation of the parent
stem by royal charter of Henry VII =
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-03-27
PERSONAL NOTHA

Miss Mamie Bayard, ~ 6scrstarys
third daughter, now presides over her
fathers home.
Plunger Walton he's settled ons third
Of . million upon his wife to guard
against financial reverses.
Since the advent Of pleasanter weather
President Cleveland has taken less TO
drives and more to outdoor walks.
DR.. Butler, the new chaplain OF the
United States Senate, 10 described a. .
reserved, dignifed, scholarly man, of
rather austsre manners, and lacking the
asy cordiality Of his predecessor.
Oliver Wendell Holmes and James
Russell Lowell will caoss the Atlantic TO-
gether this spring. probably sailing on
the Catalonia early in April. They will
20 through England together, and may
return by the same steamer. D.. Holmes
has been abroad only once, fifty-one
years ago.
DR.. J. H. Kane. leading practitioees
Of Wilmington. Dsl., q brother Of Dr..
Kane, Of Arctic fame, ana with him
participator In the North Pole sxpedi'
tion, died Monday morning at Summit,
N. J., where he was on Q visit TO his
daughter. The deceased was . brother
in.law Of Secretary Bayard, and va en-
inent in his profession.
A scarcely credible rumor 10 extant Ii
Warrington to the effect that Secretary
Lamar will have his hair cut whss
VAIN weather comes. Il will Be onl,
the second time for twenty years. Tn
last time it was cut was in 1e7s, when b.
fell asleep in q St. Louis hasbsr's chai
and woke up to find himself looking lik
ordinary people.
The wife Of Congressman Nosrisei
watches the course Of public Affairs do.
BY day, studies the tariff and silver qusa
tions, and IL a. fully posted q hss hua
band on revenue matters. 4 year q tw
ago she is said 10 have asksd . friend
lend her a certain work on the tarih. h
complied with her requese, thisking
had its source 10 feminine ceplioA an
that she would never read ono half tn
volumes. To his surprise hs found note
from and allusions to the work o
through the next tariff speech Of Nj
Morrison.
An agreement made without consider
h ton IL void.
Live honestly, hurt nobody. and rel
der to every one his just due.
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-03-27

ROSCOE COwAusw8 OWr tosP0s
Boston Herald.
Roscoe Contling b not only averse
profssse,iiy. to the proposition that hs
shall enter the struggle for Warner MI.
ler's place; he goss further In his show
Of stubbornness he absolutely rseasss
to re-snter politics ct all. Within -
many days three personal. intimate
friends have told me that no has now no
other purpose in lie than to gain . con.
petence asainst old age. II has been
truly said that he was ruined through
endorsements Of the notes Of afsisod,
but to understand his present situation,
II should be known that when he Ne
signed his seat In Washington he bad 70
borrow ti2 with which 70 come on 10
New York. at least 20 he said 70 his
friends at the time. To-day Il b sai1
that the Senate committee in,sstigaGioG
Jake Sharp pay him $3.50 day. ssd h
himself has announced that he b -
king e1OO, 100 q year.
The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-03-27

N. 4. IimSe
Among Rev. Henry Ward Bsecher's
many accomplishments not the least 10
his ability as story teller. To much
amused listensn he recently told this
one about New York drummer: A
typical "knight OF the gripsack" was de-
tanned at a small town in Western New
Yosk awhile ago. where q revival was in
progress. He had met . party ofconviv-
ial freinds during his stay there. and had
chat d popularly known - load on."
Neverthelas he drifted into the revival
meeting and took seat veil up IN front.
II Vas rather Close in the church and the
warm air was conducive to slesP. The
drummer yielded toths dFowsy god. and
nodding 4 little, sank intopsofound sium'
Der and slept through the miniseers rath'
er long and dry discourse. The audisues
sang q hymn, and the drummer slepe on.
Then the evangelist began his address.
and wound up his fsrvid appeal S'th
this request: "Will oil OF you who want
to 20 to heaven please rissT Everyone
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-01-01

Ol lS1ulVlOlIlA CtIVluCNtt7ss Ut1Stu uk<Il Vic
present standard of scholarship would in
crease the efficiency of our schools. Is it
not probable, in view Of the rapid strides
the art of primary education has been
making within the last few years, that ten
years hence teachers examination will be
conducted in different way, and on other
subjects than nowe A certificate now would
Ee no testimonial of teaching power then.
The writer would therefore suggest that
some plan based upon scholarship be adopt
cd For instance, let the additional studies
Of English Literature and Civil Govern
,nent be required for what IS now called q
:. frs. grade certificate" To any applicant
having taught in the Territory for three
years under first grade certificate let there
he issued certificate for five years; and to
any applicant having taught four years IN
der q five years certificate, a certificate for
life or during good behavior, provided he
pass an examination upon the addi
tional branches, Algebra, Geometry, the
elements of some natural science Tor some
foreign language), History of Educa-
IJOIls Inu JAt OuClIACS " SuISCASAA
History The Board for issuing such ad-
ditional certificates be composed Of the Su-
perintendent of the Territory, and two
other superintendent - County Superin-
tendents, if the present system be retained.
Some plan like this would be constant
stimulus to teachers to self improvement.
The teacher most deserving a life certificate
is he whose length of service proves his in
tention to make teaching life work, and
who values scholarship enough to pursue
his studies further than those embraced
within the narrow curriculum of the schools
The instructor that goes not forward in his
studies, has, as u rule, pupils who go back
ward in theirs.
ATTENDANCE.
An inspection of the attendance in sta
tistics is none too gratifying. While about
IS per cent of the school census children
are enrolled, the average daily attendance
of those enrolled is less. We have Law
compelling every child not mentally O
otherwise disqualified, to attend schoo
certain number of weeks during tn
school term. There is another law o
the compulsory sort, which if not necessar.
toprotect the Territory from illiteracy,is nee
essary to the proper progress of our schools
namely, law requiring regularity of ut
tendance among those enrolled. The pub
lie system is based upon the idea Of min
MIXING individual instruction by class teach