St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-09-11

their necks or throw them into the creek or
beat the life out of them or do something
desperate the first week. He might be ten
der hearted enough to let them walk over
veranda or fall into the water and get
drowned; but the most affectiOnate thing
he would do would be to leave them go
where they pleased, and they'd get killed
somehow.
TRIALS OF AN EXCHANGE EDITOR.
A very fat man pulled his way up the
three fights of stairs into the editorial rooms
of the GLOBE office. He was out of breath,
and. on reaching the last landing, stood at
the head of the steps looking around, while
wipng the perspiration from his round and
Clearly shaven face. His moist brow next
received attention, to accomplish which feat
he took off his broad brimmed hat. Hav-
ing dried off his face he next used his hand
kerchief on his fat hands and wrists. Once
in shape and with new supply of breath
in his lungs he came forward. His we'll
rounded body was clothed in black trousers,
black bombazine short coat which but par
TALLY concealed the white shirt-bosom. A
waistcoat he had not. In one hand he car
ried white sunshade lined with green.
He made his way into the little room
where the exchange editor was at work.
The latter had news papers piled up all
about his chair, and, while looking over
late copy of Detroit exchange, toyed with
the scissors which he wore on his right
hand. AS the visitor came in the exchange
man, using the scissors as plaything.
rubbed his scalp directly over the right car
with the point of the scissors.
''Excuse me-" said the visitor, 81 came
up to see if you exchanged with the York
town Bugle. You see, l used to live there
Never there? Well, you ought to go. [
remember when the Bugle was started 1t
was during the DouglaS-Lincoln campaign
of 1860. If you don't mind, I'll just look
over this pile here, and see if L can't come
across it. Why, here's the Jamestown
Juggler. That was a great paper when
Jim Smith edited it. Can take this home
with me? Thanks. l can't find that York
town paper. Are you sure it comes in on
the morning Inail?
Perhaps it comes in the afternoon. l
guess I'll call around later, and in the mean
time if you should come across it would you
mind placing it one side for me? Why
don't L subscribe for it? Oh, what's the use
when you get it for nothing? and l know
you never open it, for I've been up before
and always found it unopened. You are
new one here, aren't Vou?"
The man took off his hat, wiped his
brow and departed.
Scarcely had he got out of the room be-
fore a lean, loosely-jointed young man
came ambling in. His clothes were we'll
worn and were shiny. A black SLOUGH hat
was on his head. His jet-black hair was
long, and curled beneath the rim of his
modified sombrero His face was covered
with the growth of weeks beard, while
his eyes were deep-set and black as his hair.
A cOlOred shirt was a part of his visible
outfit.
Say, mister" said he. addressing the
exchange editor. II want som'thin' to
read; anythin' will do; any old Jim Crow
papers will do me. A printer? Yes
you've called the turn on me the first
time. Pm an old jour- an just come
down from Dakota, and want som'thin' to
read powerful bad. Can 1 take any of
these thrown about the floor? All right.
I've been in exchange rooms before and
know about them. Yes, I've worked in
pretty much every town from New Orleans
to st. Paul, and from Omaha to Pittsburg.
Much obliged"
His arms filled with clipped and examined
exchanges, the printer goes out.
In the course of the day the exchange
editor is visited by two females. They are
attired in white. which makes their ages
appear more advanced than would other
wise be the case. They are not at ease on
entering the room, for they appear to be
surprised at finding new man at the desk.
Where is the gentleman" one of them
asks, "who had this desk"
The present occupant gives forth the in
formation that the predecessor has gone on
wedding trip.
''How NIGEL" exclaims the spokeswoman.
sDld he leave any word with you," she
continued, ''about the papers for the Rural
Home for the Unbelievers? He usually put
them by for us, and we come every other
day for them. He didn't say anything
about it? Well, suppose his thoughts
were on his wedding"
The two visitors smile.
Now would it be too much trouble,'
says the female who has been doing all the
talking, eff we ask you to save us all the
papers that you think would be interesting
for the patients at the Rural Home? Pm
sure it's very kind of you. Don't you get
awful tired of reading all these papers? l
should think you would. We would like
to have you come down and write up the
Rural Home. You don't write? Well,
we are very much obliged to you. Oh,
forgot. Will you put by the Oshkosh
Howler for me and the Yonkers Statesman
for Miss Smith here? You know we used
to live there. Good day."
They 60 out and so does the exchange
man. The latter does not join them. He
goes out for little rest. Before doing so
he arranges all the papers which he desires
to read on his desk. He concludes that he
can work better later in the evening. He
returns. His papers are disarranged and
everything is confusion in his room. He
makes use of certain phrases found in Sun
day school books and wants to know who
has been in the room during his absence.
''Oh. 1 forgot to tell you" sang out a
voice from a neighboring room, ''that Jim
Smith, the base ball crank, was in here to
look up the record of the Detroit players.
He saw 1t was published in New York
paper of day before yesterday. He walked
into your room and looked up the paper.
Why don't you lock the door,"
Up into the building came man with
long hair, a tall hat, long buster and
white necktie. He found the door leading
into the exchange room locked. He
knocked. Reluctantly admitted, he made
known the fact that he was a missionary
and wanted to read last Wednesdays
Boston Budget. Informed that the paper
was probably sold as waste paper. he ex
pressed surprise and manifested doubt as
to the correctness of the information by
looking over the papers on the floor as if
expecting to find it.
There, my young friend" he says, as
he picked up copy of the Budget, II
thought you were in error. You see l have
found one. l did not wish to contradict
you. l would know that paper anywhere"
''What date is it, asked the exchange
man. ''Let me see," said the missionary,
taking off the wrapper and looking at the
headlines. '"Ths says Friday morning.
You say you have not Wednesdays paper?
That's too bad; but with your permission
will take this one with me-"