Los Angeles daily herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1884-1890, 1886-08-13

DR.. Corner, proprietor of Corners ne
plus ultra kidney calner, Jasperville, N.
Dear Sir. | write TO say that last
MI. hit / was so fortunate as to discover q
new comet, for which you were kind
enough to offer prize Of 500 last year.
As soon as read your offer l immedi-
ately began to scan the heavens. pre-
sumo that there isn't square foot Of
the whole sky that / haven't been over
during that time, In search Of comets.
In January. on the early morning of the
End. think, while gong home, after
assisting in the ceremonies OF ushering
in the new year, discovered comet OF
great magnitude. but on the following
evening, when l attempted to put my
hand ON it and classify it and draw on
you for the prize money, l found that 1t
had svaded me. now agree with my
wife that it was an optical delusion Of
the first magnitude 1|
Last week, however, succeeded In
running down large red comet which
had never been used before. IL was
situated in the constellation Of Cassabi-
anca, about due west Of the Methodist
Church as you look out Of my barn door
on clear night.
Its appearance is that of a large neb-
ulous body and no tail. This is the only
drawback to my discovery. / am sorry
to come to you with tailless comet.
After the long nights of anxiety and
worry, | dislike to come to you Doc,
bringing bobtail comet. I will, there
fore. throw off $40 from the amount you
offered. Send me postal note for $50.
Doc, and the c met is yours. You will
find 1T where have said il you are care
full to observe my directions.
Had this comet been success, with a
tail to il, would have been glad to
bessow my name upon it, never having
put my name on cometi but ! would
prefer not to name . mutilated comet
after myself. A man works too bard to
win dssthless name to calmly see it
put ON . nebulous and skittish bobtail
comet, with no record. have had
wildcat mining claims named for me,
and my brief but contiguous sognomen
will be found here and there through
out the American herd book; but
when | plaster it on a-heavenly body !
want to be attached to good one.
am on the eve of discovering an
other. comet, however, to which / shall
not be ashamed to attach my name. !
have emily partially discovered it ct this
time, but, a. Herschel would say there
u hen on. I got brief view Of this
comet last night, but before l could &C.
cure its name and draw on you for the
500 II was gous. As the bank will be
closed to night when the discovery will
no doubt be made, have taken the lib
erty to draw on you to-day at sight. If
l do not succeed in discovering the com
ct in time for June delivery will return
the money to you.
NY first comet was discovered in the
early evening. It is not brilliant COM
ct, but rather inferior in its appearance.
Its motions, also, are ersatic, and at
times aimlsss. 1t has an elongated or
bit, with large hole in 1t. | hope that
this will make no difference, however,
as it is no fault Of mine. / will agree
that it shall not occur again.
hope some day to discover . comet
with psrabola to Ut. ! have found .
place where one OF these had been the
day before and dragged its parabola
across the milky way. Whist prize do
you offer for Q comet WITH parabola!
Also, what will you give me for small
comet in good condition, with . perihe-
lion 10 IL!
l found . light sorrel comet last year,
but had not completed the discovery
and filed on il before it disappeared for
the night. learned the next day that
ii was comet with large orbit, and
49, .nf in f<sr 101l0
years. The discovery was bona fde
one, however, and il you will advance
the amount OF the price. 1t will be of
great pecuniary advantage to me,
and II IL does not return on time
a. I have said, will refund the
money to you or your heirs with pleas.
urs. 'This comet had long heavy name
and tail and seemed to be feeling hrst-
rate. Its tail was turned from me when
discovered it, but whom looked at Ii
again saw that it was turned this way.
When next looked at Il it was gone.
Should any other astronomer find this
comet and report it to you, wish you
would tell him that it belongs to me. 1t
is about the medium heighth, is good
roadster, and wears its tail at an angle of
4
would rather discover comets for .
livelihood than to do anything else.
II it did not keep me from my family so
much.
DO you prefer a comet with nucleus,
or can You use one with . parAbohc n.y.
pothesis to better advantage Could
you use . poem on the presidential
nuptials? | often write little poems Of
this character while waiting behind a
tree for comet TO come down past me
for drink. ! also have double. bar
rel shotgun in good order and the right
to q small chestnut comet of about the
tenth magnitude, both Of which ! would
like to dispose Of,
In answering this letter please pin the
check to the upper left hand corner OF
your manuscript. Write plainly on one
side only, with your Endorsement on the
other. cannot promise to return
manuscript. Please write as soon ~
possible and tell me whether you wish
mo . continue my discoveries or not.
Should there be anything could do
for you or for science, let me know and
will give you inside figures aud cut
rates on comets, microbes or anything
else in my line.
Please write your name and postoffics
address plainly, and tell the cashier to
sign his name plainly at the bottom Of
| the check.
Yours, with . telescope in each eye
and a comet corkscrew in each hand
Bin Nye in Boston Globe.