Omaha daily bee., 1886-08-01
PEPPERMINT DROPS.

A scientist says that ducks are large
eaters. This fellow must keep an ice-cream
saloon.
miss say sha fe my bsiness n' YoS SS' can reai
read @ the past" "Well, I'll bring around OF my my
future tomorrow. 1 want you to read
him, so l can tell ii his affection is sincere"
Fits are not contagious thing, but the
married man whose mother-in-law lives with
him often catches EN-.
A perfectly red snake was recently seen
at Niagara Falls. What kind of paint the man
who saw him had been imbbing is not
stated.
Prohibition is not proving very successful
in Rhode Island, as the state Is so small that
man can sit on his back porch with rye
straw and suck a mint julep right out the
state of Massachusetts.
1t would never do to employ woman as
a drug clerk She might handle the arsenic
and the pills all right, but if a man winked
at her for his tavorte soda water syrup there
is danger that she would climb right over the
counter after him.
Every one must feel almost sorry for that
bearded lady who is frequently taken. for a
man as for the etfeminate man who is fire.
Quently taken for a bearded lady.
A Minneapolis milkman died the other day
from drinking the milk from his own dairy
Water on the brain was what Knocked him
out, according to tine physicians certificate.
n
likes her young men to be in love. They live
so steadily on toothpcks.
A man never finds out what sweet crea-
ture his wife is until he has mistaken her for
the hired girl and kissed her in the dark.
Somebody says that the odor of fresh paint
may be removed from room by placing a
saucer of ground coffee in the apartment.
Now we understand why it is a man gener-
ally chews ground coffee when he is painting
the town red.
Il DESIRE" said Miss Esmeralda Longcoffin,
entering a music store OH Austin avenue,
Ito purchase piece of music for my little
brother, who plays OF the piano." "llere,
Miss, is precisely what you want for so
cents" 'sOnly so cents? Why, he's much
further advanced than that, for last month
you anything for 81 25?'
Smith-Have you forgotten that $40
loaned you, Brown Brown-NO, indeed.
I've made note of 1t. Smith-Well, if you
cannot give me the cash I'll take the note.
The Burlington Free Press says it begins
ITO suspect that congress has Waterbury
movement, it takes so long to wind up the
session"
There are two things in this life that can
be depended upon to stick. A porous plaster
and stylographic pen.
Now that creased trousers and rough-edged
paper are fashionable, the only thing needed
to complete the editors happiness is craze
for frayed cuffs.
An Alabama man recently divorced from
his wife died from grief over the separation.
lie is supposed to have been overcome while
endeayoring to sew on suspender button.
Bank presidents, as n rule, are opposed to
silver dollars. They don't want them in the
bank. There is reason for this. A bank
officer going suddenly to Canada couldn't
carry silver dollars enough with him to last
him q week.
The saddest and in many respects the most
distressing result Of prohibition in Iowa takes
the form of report that distilery there has
been converted into piano manufactory
The gain i'll this instance is small. indeed.
What may have been only local nuisance
now becomes the bane OF households all over
the state.