The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-08-06
VARIETIES.

Labor is life, tits the still water faileth,
Idleness ever despaireth; bewaileth,
Keep the watch wound, or the dark rush as
Play the sweet keys, would you keep them in
tune"
An exchange asks: "What is hostile
furnilure" Don't know unless it Is armed
chairs.
When an Icelander marries he is not al
lowed to see his mother-in-law. 1t might
make things warmer up there if he did
George, dear, don'tyou think it's rather
extravagant of you to eat butter with that de-
licious jam !" mo, love; economical. Same
piece Of bread does for both"
When we are young we waste great deal
OF time in imagining what we will do when
we grow older, and when we are old we
waste an equal amount of time in wondering
why we waited so long before we began to
do anything.
did you go fishing when you were in
the country last week ?" asked Podsnap of
Fangle No; couldn't get any bait" was
the reply. why, that was singular; how
was that ?" Happened to strike local-op-
ton neighborhood."
Why Laura, how tight you wear your
corsetsI' said one lady to another as they were
dressing for dinner; ~ never could enjoy
anything ale if wore mine as tight as you
do" "Grace before meat" the other replied,
as she laced herself in
An lrishman who was sleeping all night
with negro had his face blackened by q
practical joker. Starting off in hurry in
the morning, he caught sight of himself in
mirror; puzzled, he stopped and gazed, and
finally exclaimed :-"Begorra, they have
woke the wrong man ?"
An lrishman from the country was
standing on one of the city wharves the other
day gazing very thoughtfully at large anchor
lying close by. policeman came along and
told him to move on. "Divil bit will l
move on till see the man that uses that
pick, pointing to the anchor.
during a recent examination on natural
history in school, a student in the pursuit.
of knowledge concerning the habits of ami
mails said to the examiner, "Why does cat,
sir, while eating, turn her head first one way
and then the other?" For the reason" re-
piled the examiner, "that she cannot turn it
both ways at once"
Lame lame !" sighed Mrs. Partington.
Here | have been sutferin, the bgamies of
death Tor three mortal weeks. First, l was
seized with the bleeding phrenology in the
hampshire of the brain, which was exceeded
by the stoppage of the left ventilator of the
heart. This gave me Inflammation of the left
boraX, and now l am sick with the chloro-
ioi ~ hiOl Jus. luClC 10 uO UlCSSlH Ike lLuI
of health, particularly when you're ill"
Say" shouted boy in front of the City
Hall the other afternoon.
Something like fifty men came to dead
halt.
Say your wife said was to tell you not
to forget to bring home tea p continued the
boy in founder voice.
Forty-tive men wheeled, slapped legs, and
grunted out:
Hanged if l hadn't forgotten all about
"A millionaire railroad king has brother
who is quite hard of hearing, while he HIM
self is known as having very prominent
nose. Once he went to New York and dined
at friends house, where he sat between two
young ladies. The ladies talked TO him very
loudly and rather to his annoyance but he
said nothing. Finally one of them yelled a
commonplace at him, and then said in an
ordinary tone to the other, did you ever
see such nose in all your life ?" "Pardon
me ladies' said our millionaire, "t is my
brother who is deaf"