davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07
Why Women Are Funny.

Women are funny creatures, and yet
we like them. In the ecstasy of love
we spend all our change buying them
candy, ice-cream, and oysters, taking
them to the theater and out driving.
Admiration for the gentler sex is one
of the characteristics of the Breakfast
Table editorial mind. Still woman has
one drawback in our worshipful eyes.
She has not learned to recognize the
rights of others in public. In crowd
she frequently becomes a-shall we
say it?-nusance. Not great, blus-
tering, get-out- of-my- nuisance,
such as a male man becomes on oc-
casion, but still nuisance, albeit q
sweet and comedy one. A fragile woman
with market basket can create more
desolation in street-car in one little
minute than a yellow dog in flock of
sheep beneath the rural glimpses of
the moon. She is agony-a despair
sweet violet turned sour. She is O
complete edition of masculine discom-
future, bound In sweetness and light.
That is truly SO. But it is on the side
walk that woman becomes ludicrously
and wonderfully, albeit sweetly and
decorously, O nuisance. One nurse
maid, with baby-carriage, can block
the way with more ease than load of
hay; and she does it with such an air
of irrefragable composure, such imper-
turbable complacency, as would cover
with the mantle of shame the bravest
efforts of setting hen by moonlight.
Then there is the woman who inquiries
the way. We meet her every day, and
she's dandy. When you tell her and
tell her correctly she says that Mr.. So
and-So informed her to the contrary;
and right thoroughly is she disposed
to get up wrangle. The woman who
is afraid she will be run over at the
crossing is another character. She
starts to cross, and then happens to
see a wagon approaching about six
blocks away. Back she rushes to the
cnrb and waits for the vehicle to pass.
But it turns up cross street before it
reaches her, and she again puts out of
port with all sails set and every pros
pect of prosperous voyage. But
meantime another wagon approaches
from another direction, and-horror of
horrors lit is only half square away.
Back she flies to the friendly curb, her
heart palpitant with dainty throbs of
unutterable fright. But the approach
ing engine of destruction begins to
slacken its speed. She hesitates a
moment, and then again weighs anchor.
Out she goes again and crosses the
street just in front of the horses nose.
The noise of her hustle and the flutter
of her ribbons scare the horse, and he
runs away. The worst of all, however,
is shown when three ladies take the
whole sidewalk. The busy business
man tries to get past. He lodges to
the right, then to the left, and, seeing
an opening, tries to go between. He
stumbles and balks, finally steps on
their dresses and gets blowing
W, IN are sweet and comedy, but
awtuily funny. Williamsport Break
fast Table.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07
What Is to BE Done with the Negro!

The negro is no longer a problem.
He is part of the body polite of the
Republic. He is firmly rooted and can
not be moved. He is here to stay, and
any attempt to disturb him or to excite
his fears as to his right to life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness Is nothing
less than a crime. A question touch
ing the negro, like any other, must be
considered from this common sense
standpoint, and every suggestion for
its solution must be subjected to the
probing and searching "What good ?"
Prejudice must not be allowed a voice
in its solution, and passion must be ex-
cluded from counsel. The negro will
not consent to his own deportation.
The Southern planters, too, would not,
If they could. consent to it, nor to any
agitation of it, because it unsettles and
unhinges the labor that is more profit
able free than it ever was or could be
in the days of slavery. The negro is
more intelligent now than then, and
therefore more valuable because a bet
ter, closer and more skillful worker.
Deportation is not, for these reasons, to
be considered. We must, therefore, deal
Will Tic utbIO VI WIFI
the full understanding that we cannot
get rid of him His commercial value,
supplementing his rights under the
Federal and State constitutions, says
we cannot.
What, then, is to be done with the
negro? Nothing but increase the
number of schools and schoolmasters,
make education compulsory, and make
the technical education easily available
to him in all parts of the South. The
negro must be taught the virtue of self
reliance. and the value of the courts as
his safeguard and defense under the
Constitution and laws of the nation
and of the States. Agitation exalts the
negro to degree of imaginary inpor-
lance that people at the North cannot
understand. He is sensible man
within his limits of mind and compre-
hension, so long as he feels that he is
not the center OF pet anxiety. Agita-
ton has retarded and interfered with his
growth in the past; it has proved ex-
ceedingly mischievous, and is not to he
thought of in the future. It breeds
dissatisfaction, raises hopes that can
never Ne fulfilled, and tends to widen
the breach between the races.-Poptt-
lar Science Monthly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07


We were I'm the old Grange garden
Where fierce dragons stood for warden
Meath the rose trees red with blooms
And tho golden sunshine brightly
Drifted through the branches lightly,
Making gay the odorous glooms.
On the lawn n sun-dial olden
Caught tho slantng sunbeams golden.
Which, with sweet and softening grace,
With warm touches brightly tender,
Threw their strange alchemic splendor
Ger the moss-greened, time-worn face.
You wero humming love-ditty,
And you whispered, 20, the pity
That the roses fade 30 soonl"
o the glowing summer weatherJ
q the days when we together
Felt the world and life in tunei
Pushing back the branches trailing
All across the dial, and yelling
It's quaint legend from our sight
Read YOU in Il voice of scorning,
IF unclouded be loves morning,
Love will die at fall of night"
Saying softly, roses casting
Ger the words "Our love Is lasting,
Mocking words you speak, ., Dial.
Know you not, love born in pleasure,
Never fills its fullest measure,
Until darkness comes, and trial?'
Sweet those days of summer brightness,
When our hearts eclipsed the lightness
OF the summer-hearted birds
Dear, often wonder whether
You recall those days together
With those days, o love, your words
When the glowing summer glory
Faded from our loves sweet story,
When around us fell the night,
You passed on, dear, careless-hearted.
I?-tis over we are parted,
Yet love in loves despite.
When the futures veil was lifted,
Each had from the other drifted,
Down lifes river, far apart;
Yet your face, with sweet persistence,
Shines across the dreary distance,
And lies folded in my heart
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07
CURIOUS FACTS.

STEAMING white wood and submitting
il to an end pressure renders 1T 50
tough, it is said, as to require cold
chisel to split it.
EXPERIMENTS show that the average
person can taste the bitter Of quinine
when one part is dissolved in i52, 900
parts of water. Salt was detected with
one part in Gao of water, sugar Ia
2S8 OF water, baking-soda in As OF
water. In nearly all cases women
detected smaller quantity then men.
A CHINE.E viceroy has propounded
new earthquake theory. In me-
mortal to the throne this high official
attributes an earthquake of last Janu-
airy to the mildness of the winter.
which caused an excess of yang" or
male element of nature; although the
shock was in q measure due to local
officials who neglected their duties, and
thus failed to gain the harmonizing in
fluences of heaven.
A MAN has been discovered out West.
and colored one at that, who has
reached the age of 100 years, and who
does not claim that he was once the
body servant of Gen. Washington. A
house was recently destroyed in the
vicinity of Boston believed to be 200
years old, which was never claimed as
Gen. Washington's headquarters, or
the temporary residence of Gen.
Lafayette. Wonders will never cease
SINCE the launching of the Frederick
Billings at Rockport. claimed to be the
second largest wooden ship ever built
in the United States, comes shout
from the Duluth Mimi Nelrs that
says there are several wooden vessels
running into Duluth Harbor larger
than the Frederick Billings, being over
SEQ feet long over all, while the Maine
ship is only 29l feet. 1t names four
ships afioat on Lake Superior that are
the largest wooden vessels afoat any
where, on salt water or fresh.
A PASTE that will not draw engrav-
ings when pasted down on paper must
be thin. A mixture of gum-tragacanth
and gum-arabic forms, with water, O
thinner mucilage than either of these
two gums alone. Rice-hour is said to
make an excellent paste for fine paper
work. A solution of two ounces and a
half gum-arabic in two quarts of warm
water is thickened to paste with
wheat flour; to this is added a solution
of alum and sugar of lead, one ounce
and half each, in water. The mix
ture is heated and stirred until about
to boil, and then cooled. 1t may be
thinned with gum solution.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07

One evening when q few gentlemen.
among whom was Mr.. Seward, had met
in the executive chamber without
official business, and were telling OF
the past, the President. said: Seward
You never heard, did you, how canned
my first dollarl"
NO" said Seward.
well" replied he, Il was about Is
years of age, and belonged, as you
know, to what they call down South
the scrubs. People who do not own
land and slaves are nobody there. But
we had succeeded in raising, chiefly
by my labor, sufficient product, as |
thought, to justify me in taking it
down the river to sell. After much
persuasion / had got the consent of my
mother to 60, and constructed q fiat
boat large enough to take the few bar
rels of things we had gathered down to
New Orleans. A steamer was going
down the river. We have, as you
know, no wharves on those Western
streams. and the custom was, if passen-
gers were at any of the landings, they
were to go out In boat, the steamer
stopping and taking them on board. /
was contemplating my new boat, and
wondering whether l could make it
stronger or improve it in any part,
when two men came down to the shore
in carriages, with trunks, and, looking
at the different boats, singled out mine
and asked: Who owns this p j an
answered modestly: Il do will
you, said one of them. take us and
our trunks out to the steamer?' Ger
tainly,' said !. 1 was very glad to have
the chance of earning something. and
supposed that each of them would give
me couple of bits. The trunks were
put on my boat, the passengers seated
themselves on them, and 1 sculled them
out to the steamer. They got on board,
and lifted the trunks and put them
on the deck. The steamer was about
to put on steam again when / called
out: You have forgotten to pay me.
Each of them took from his pocket a
silver half-dollar and threw it on the
bottom of my boat. / could scarcely
believe my eyes as / picked up the
money. You may think it was very
little thing, and in these days it seems
to me like tri1e, but it was most
important incident in my life. could
scarcely credit that ], the poor boy,
had earned dollar in less than day,
and as by honest work / had earned a
dollar the world seemed wider and
fairer before me. l was a more hope
full and thoughtful boy from that time"
". d. Kellev, in NelU York Star.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07
The Widows Wit.

A dashing Washington widow, who
had received marked attentions from
a very popular and gallant physician,
found herself suddenly deserted. Her
Esculapius, aged 81, was completely
enthralled by beauty of IL, and on
Christmas morning the wedding took
place with all due pomp. Norwood
for the widow? She swallowed it brave
ly, wore an undaunted front, and was
among the first to offer hurr cd con-
CALCULATIONS to the happy pair. The
conversation turned upon Christmas,
and the bride said, laughing gayly:
All my wedding presents were sent
Just before Christmas, SO on Christmas
morning had not single gift" "Ahl
my dear, that is cruel; you had me.
said the bridegroom, reproachfully.
Before the pretty bride could answer,
the widows eyes grew dangerous, and
swinging slowly her large fan, she
murmured: Surely, my dear Mrs.
N, you should be more than satisfied,
for you know antiquities are all the
rage" In the awful silence following,
the widow rose, carefully arranged her
draperies, and bowed her adieu in
stately serenity. DIR. X. and his bride
never returned her calL-Boston
Herald
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07

PoRpoIsE leather is a novelty as yet,
especially when used in the manufact-
IRE of shoes. 1t has been largely used,
however, in making shoe-striDgs. owing
to its great strength and pliability. II
has long, tenacious fiber, and as il
will not crack and tear it makes an ex.
cellent leather. When made up into a
shoe it greatly resembles French hid.
IL wears like ipon, and would be su {
able for boys shoes. 1t is entirely
waterproof, and very cooling to the
feet, making it excellent for summe,
wear. The skins cut from five to six
pairs of mems vamps. The leather is
hemlock tanned.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07
CHAPTER III.

For a week or two Estelle went about in
frame of mind which is apt to upset the
calmest natures, and which, in girl of her
excitable temperament, took the shape of
extreme fitful alterations between turbu-
lent gayety and fearful depression. She
would have worked herself into fever had
it not been for the sincere good sense and
unobtrusive sympathy of quiet Mary Cot
terrell, who understood her visitor well.
Then one day she darted into the house,
dragged Mary to her room, and there burst
ont crying and laughing wildly. II am SO
happyl-so happy!-oh, Mary, can't you
guess"
what child you are, Estellel OF course
can guess, and I'm as glad as ever can
be, dearie. Tell me all about it."
Il was in the garden, and he came up the
path-oh, | can't go on now-Tm just over
whelmed-frantic-my hearts beating all
over mel"
"That dreadful red-haired man?" said
Mary, mischievously.
How dare YOU call him DREADFUL Yes,
yes, know that's what [ said, but then /
began to like him just tiny little. and then
it went on crescendo-crescendo-
fortissimoi"
She waved her hands as if conducting an
orchestra, and ended on tiptoe, tossing them
high above her head
so, after all, you have found man you
can trust" said Mary, half jokingly, and
not at all prepared for the sudden cloud
that settled on Estelle's face. She did not
answer at once, and then her tone had
changed.
MARY, you told me he was devoted 10
Eva Charlesworth.
"Oh, did II" said Mary, much embar-
rassed. "Well. used to think SO, but
clearly was mistaken"
"No. you were not. He told me about il
himself. He says long time ago be asked
her to marry him, but She wouldn't. She
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07

The late Rev. DR.. Tying had an in
cisive way of his own, and spoke his
mind freely on all occasions. "What
do l call cigars?" lie asked of his Sun
day-school children. "The devils SUI
gar-plums, SIR" "And playing cards ?"
The devils picture-book." At one
time it was necessary for the oldest
clergyman in the diocese, Rev. DR..
Moore, of Richmond, s. l., to open the
convention in the absence of a Bishop.
DIR. Moore was q plain country parson,
and the new honor stunned him so that
he did not know how to act. He went
to DIR. Tying for advice. "what shall
1 do when get up there?" he inquired
anxiously. Dor" said Tying. who was
provoked at such timidity on the part
of his senior. "The Lord put word
into the mouth of Balaam's ass. and I
suppose he will put one into yours.
Get up and 60 ahead
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07

CASTLES without housekeeping are
but bricks and stones-cold and for
bidding.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07

Custom and his kingly Office oblige
tho Prince of Wales to wear some sew
enty odd suits of clothes.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07

WE can be true to ourselves, and still
forbear to Judge others.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

The barborous custom of throw
ing passengers overheard as soon
as the breath has left their bodies
when they die at sea on transat-
lantic steamer has nearly run its
course. Since our statement that an
ocean passenger steamer is legally
bound to deliver persons who pay
their passage in advance at their
port of destination, whether they
die or not, we have received assur-
ances that convince us that we are
correct. AS caskets can be obtained
in which a body can be kept in a
fair state of preservation two weeks
without the use Of ice, all European
passenger steamers should be com
PEELED TO carry them. The relatives
or friends of those who die at sea
would gladly pay the extra expense
entailed in preserving their bodies
and returning them to land for de-
cent and Christian burial.-N. Y.
Marine Journal.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

Miss Anna Gould, to whom the
late Mr.. Tilden left 100000 in his
will, is the daughter of the late Gen.
Gould of Rochester, who, when he
died, bequeathed an ample fortune
to his widow, son and daughter.
But the son was unfortunate in
business, and having lost his own
share, persuaded his mother and
sister to let him have their money
that he might open banking house
in New York, in which he wrecked
all their maintenance.
This compelled Miss Gould to
earn her own livelihood and she
was commended to Mr.. Tilden as
reader by one of his family, who is
connected with her by marriage.
She had been highly educated and
her reading never seemed to tire
him, and so insatiate was his appe-
tite for books that she read for him
in the five years she spent at Grey
stone 800 volumes, beside newspa-
pers, magazines, letters and miscel-
laneous matter.
Mr.. Tilden was very critical, and
if she did not pronounce word
correctly would set her right and
make her read it again. If she
thought he was falling asleep and
read carelessly, he would at once
rouse up and insist on having the
passage read over correctly. She
has, by the drilling, become as crit
zeal % Mr.. Tilden was, and has be-
come a terror to her acquaintance
when they speak in her presence,
and they never use a word in talk
ing to her of whose pronunciation
and finer significance they are not
certain.
When he engaged Miss Gould's
services Mr.. Tilden agreed to pay
her $50 per month and give her a
home at Greystone. Later, he told
her he would leave her $4,000 in
his will, and after a time promised
100000 if she remained with him
as long as he lived, which pledge
he kept.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

n have not sold my interest t,, N N The ~ -.
of Ketchum. Alturas comfy are ,' cauic''a
tory: therefore, all persoi,ss, -" ru
not to purchase said x, ipteTssKK oNlN6ihanIld
Ketchum. Aug. Q. lso.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

A paper-making firm in New Jer-
sey has for several weeks been turn
ing out counterpanes and pillows
of paper. No. !! manila paper is
used, two large sheets being held
together by a slender Irvine at in
tervals of three or four inches the
Irvine is gummed so as to hold the
sheets firmly together where it lies.
A hem is placed on the counterpane
to keep it from tearing; the safety
edge is composed of Irvine. Orna-
mental designs are stamped on the
outer surface Of the covers and the
cases, giving them neat, attractive
appearance, When the counter
panes and pillow cases become
wrinkled from use, they can safely
be smoothed out with hatiron.
The counterpanes can be left on the
bed when it is occupied, and in cold
weather will be found a warm COW
ering, paper preventing the escape
of heat. The new paper bedcloth-
ing is seventy-five cents per set, and
will probably become very popular,
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

London Rarebife.


"Are you n Mormon?" SEE l,
with a stifin' sort of gasp that
purity nigh choked me, for l must
say that to look at the mans face
he 'peared good enutf to lead class
meetin', and l was afeared he
mightn't like the question, but he
sot thar as kan as cold beans, and
SEE he:
"Well, yes, ruther.'
81 don't think | was ever over
come so complete about anything
since / got religion as | was just
then. You could a-knocked me
down with feather.
"As soon as / could ketch my
breath / perceded to rake him over
the Goals purity lively; but he
didn't seem to care smudgin' for
anything | said, and didn't rile
him one particle. He just sot thar
as unmoved as a stun fence, and
never got his dander up oncest. |
told him that he was a miserable
wurm of the dust, but he said he
knowed it, though he stuck up to
it that he was tryin' to do the
Lords will the best he knowed
how. and he ruther kalkerlated he
would keep on marryin' as long as
he had a hair left.
And frum that we got to argyin'
the matter, and you wouldn't be-
lieve, my darlin', what monsus
sight of skripter the elder cud
kOte TO show that it was right fur
a man to marry whenever more
help around the house was needed,
instid of hirin' and THROWN away
money that might be kept in the
family just as we'll as not. / must
say that he made it pear so dread
full reasonable that / wasn't nigh so
much sot against him as | was
afore. Purity nigh all the good
men we read about in skriptcr fol-
Tered this plan for keepin' down ex-
DtlStS Dut Il ltNcl iobhtu dt II
Jest that way till he pinted it out to
me. 1t didn't take him more thun
ten minits to show me that it was
a preshus sight easier to marry a
hired gal durin' hard times thun it
was to pay her the cash.
at sumtimes happened, the
elder said, that he would lose a
turbull good wife, jest as the spring
work was comm on, an arter he'd
been to the expense of winterin'
her; but luck in marryin' was purity
much the same as it was in raisin'
pork-sometimes Their was profit in
it and sometimes ther wasn't.
Howsomever, he wasn't the man to
make his eyes sore in weepin' about
what cudn't be helped so long as
he could find an able-bodied woman
in the neighborhood who hadn't
been bespoke, and so, in such
cases, he ginrally put on his blue
coat and nankeen weskit and mar
ried agin as soon as he cud pop
and git the gal to the preacher"
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

Pail Mall Gazette.


At Bierwich in Holland, honor
is about to be done to the memory
of great Dutchman, whose name
and whose achievements are prob
ably unknown to the rest of Europe,
This month will mark the fifth CEN
tenary of the memorable discovery
of William Buckets. Buckets was
iceland fisherman, and his dis
covery was simply this, that salt
fish will keep, and that fish that can
be kept can be packed and can be
exported. Before his time herrings
had to be consumed within a few
day of their capture. Buckets
sailed them. 1t does not sound
like great discovery. One rather
wonders that the system had not
been applied from the beginning.
However. in 1886, William Buckets
sailed the first hundred of her
rings, and having sailed them he
packed them iii barrels. The exer-
else of common sense resulted in a
singular development of the re-
sources of the country. The En-
glish fisheries were not as promi-
nent 500 years ago as they are now,
and Holland had for a time almost
a monopoly in the market which
she was able to create and to sup
ply. Buckets had not to wait 800
years to have his claim to public
gratitude recognized. Charles V
had a statue erected to the herring
saiter who became the benefactor
of his country. Queen Mary of
Hungary, however, paid him even
greater honor. During her resi-
dence in Holland she discovered
his tomb and seated upon it, ate a
sailed herring. And this month
his fifth centenary is to be duly
celebrated
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-11-20

Notice. ,vry TIA.
T. Gamnss is msf r3lsss' i 3
for any debts or liens p,au. lessesTi
pendence mine BY the POPHANv
Rkl.FFiRED r''s'