Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1886-06-05
PREFERRED THE CASH.
Mrs. Billikins' Estimate of tho Value I
Theoretical Philosophy.

Mrs. BiIlikins' Estimate of the Value Of
Theoretical Philosophy.
Mabel" said Bill;kins, as he sat be-
fore the fire one evening at home, read
ing newspaper. there's man who
says contentment is better than Gov
eminent bonds. l wish you'd read it.
l believe il would do YOU good"
1.-The man 4 fool" said the wife. as
she went on putting patch on little
Tommy's pantaloons.
mo, indeed, my dear. It's one of
the most sensible articles I've read in a
long time. Glance it over, and see for
yourself. The man reasons like a
philosopher, and"
philosopher. fiddlesticksi I'm mar
ried to one of them, and l have my
opinion of the whole tribe, from what
know Of him. never saw aphilosO-
pher in my life who could build fire
hurry, or put on child's shoes with
out getting mad over it. Don't talk to
me about philosophy. I'm sick of the
word.
But contentment is wealth, and"
Il don't care straw if it is. pre-
fer the greenbacks when the division
is made and my share handed over.
You may have all the contentment you
can stand up under, if you'll let me
have the cash.
Nonsense, Mabel Won't you listen
to reason?"
You can't reason bread and meat
into the house, or clothes to wear. nor
you can't pay rent with it. 1t takes
money to go to market"
'.Yes, l could. Mabel. 1t has all
been done, and n good deal more be-
sides. All the comforts we enjoy have
been acquired by means of reason.
That sublime faculty marks the dis
tinction between the brute and man.
Without reason he would still be living
in holes in the ground and gnawing
bones for a living. Now. all people can
not be rich. but"
YES, they could, if they'd only stay
'swore off. and not waste half their in
come in billiards, beer. cigars and to-
bacco, and squander good share of
the remainder in other things there
amt no sense in. If was q man I'd
show You how to manage so you
wouldn't need to jump and turn white
every time the bell rings for fear it's
somebody with a bill, and"
There you 90 again. How many
times have | told YOU that woman
can't understand any thing about busi-
ness. But here's something you can
understand. and it will show you that
money is only veXation any way;
but
"All I've got to say, then. is. that
am nearly dead for the want of more
veNation. and"
If YOU want wealth, YOU CAN"
Il do. Stephen. and l want it bad.
or at least enough of it to make de-
cent appearance when get chance
to put my foot outside of the house,
which is seldom, and
Wont YOU never stop, Mabel?
declare. YOU can out-talk an Italian
with his coat Off, was going to say
that money csn't purchase"
well. it just can, my hubby. and
that's where you miss it, Give me all
the money can handle. and"
Upon my soul. Mabel. l believe
you're going crazy on the subject Of
money. Don't bother YOUR mind
about 4 thing that is so hard to get.
and mighty sight harder to keep
Money is vain de fusion. and"
There's no delusion about me. then.
my dear; only wish
Mabel. can't YOU bride that tongue
for a minute? l want to say the world
is rising. and money is coming -
Where. Stephen? In what direc-
ton? want TO hold my apron. Is it
coming this ways"
Amt YOU got no sense in your head.
woman, or ~
We'll i ain got none anywhere else
now; that's as certain as -
We'll. if silence is gold. as they say
it Is. You couldn't raise enough to buy
a feather. if pillows were selling at a
nickel a piece" said Billikins. with his
vinegar smile.
And if impudence WAS brass, as the
papers make it out 10 be, you could fur
nish enough to make guns for the whole
navy. and leave enough over to-
what's that you say?'
Il was merely going to whisper, nv
love. that if CAB was gunshot, you
could load EN- TO the muzzle. and have
enough left TO sink every ship. and not
make any extra effort. either. my dear.
But mercy on Us, There's the bell! Go
TO the door. Mabel. won't You pleases
That's good girl; If might be WORMS
after the rent again. and I'm not quite
ready to see him vet. Hang the man!
Why can't he be eou;ented and Lee me
alone for bit' I'm not going to run
away"
Its not contentment he's after, Ste
w. dear. He's like me; he wants the
cash. said the tease, with . ringing
laugh. as she went to the door, and
ushercd In company, which fogtunately
put stop to further discussi0--