The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-01-21

his wife And she was his, for he ex-
hibited bill of sale wherein Charles
Stratton conveyed the woman to
Bolts, for the sum of five cents. Now
when man can get woman for the
price of cigar, he ought to be salts
fed, unless, like some Of the econom-
ical smokers, he would want two
for" But Bolts cheap wife has got
ten him into trouble, which possibly
might have been avoided, if he had
only taken one wife. The safe and
cheap way is, then, to go to Akron or
any other market of equal induce
ments, and buy one wife, for five
cents.
After about a year of campaigning
in Parkersburg, the Salvation Army
has retreated, leaving the field tempo
rarily in the clutches Of the Old Boy.
The first onslaught by the Army there
is described as being accompanied by
every indication of successful cam
paign; the commissary was we'll sup
piled, with a good relief corps of the
best citizens of the place. After a
victorious campaign of few months
in the Rink, stragglers began to get
into the ranks, the pickets became
negligent of their duties, the outposts
were unprotected, and the enemy
slowly and surely crept into the
works, and the Army was compelled
to evacuate. The Army made the
most noise, but the Old Boy did the
slickest work.
A Washington correspondent Of
Cincinnati paper calls for the revival
ist Sam Jones to be sent to Columbus,
as means of trying to save the mis-
cradle sinners who there do congre-
gate at about this time of the year.
But the call came too late. The DEM
ocratic fraud-sinners have, alas. been
ordered to depart into outer darkness,
and nothing remains of them but the
stain upon the seats they occupied for
so short time. Sam is trying to
head them off at Cincinnati, and still
strives for a spiritual re-hearing Of
their cases. Yet it would doubtless
make lively time in the Capital City
were Sam to go there. Sam Jones
lampooning the Devil and Allen O.
Myers praising Judas Iscariot, would
make a sensation in the spiritual
world up that way.
*.*
As the freezing weather of the
present winter seems to be fatal to
frauds, there is strong talk now to the
effect that Gen. Durbin Ward will
contest the seat Of H. B. Payne in the
q. S. Senate. averring that the pres
ent incumbent was elected by unfair
means. Mr.. Payne, it is said, will
read nothing upon the subject, not
even the specific charges of Mr.. Dom
avin That he secured his seat through
bribery. Mr. Payne seems to occupy
the position of the proverbial animal
which "went into its hole, and pulled
the hole in after it" But the trouble
is, Donavin seems to have bored new
hole, and brought the old gentleman
to the light Of day. It would indeed
seem sad to see so much genius and
ingenuity wasted over securing his
election. in case the Senate should
take notion to head the old man up
in coal-oil barrel, and roll him back
to Ohio again. But everything is
mighty onsartain in this lifer'
*.*
One of the odd things that some
times startle one, and shake ones
credulity, in this world, occurred in
Columbus short time ago. A saloon
keeper shot his wife in an attempt to
kill her, and afterward tried to Kill
himself, was appointed by the Pro-
bate Court to administer upon the
estate of his dead wife. This would
perhaps have made the pathway
through the dark valley much brighter
and more pleasant for the poor wom-
an, if she could only have known that
her darling, after getting drunk and
numbering her, would prove faithful
to her memory by administering her
affairs.
At Ogden, Utah, on last Saturday,
Judge Powers passed sentence upon
Apostle Lorenzo Snow, on three sep
arate charges Of unlawful cohabita-
ton, the punishment aggregating a
fine of nine hundred dollars, and an
imprisonment of eighteen months.
When given permission to speak, in
the court room, the Apostle read an
address from manuscript. He sol
emnly assured the Court that the
Mormon Church was the Church of
the Living God, founded upon revela-
ton, and that the persecution Of the
Saints was an attempt Of human legal
power to change a Divine Law. With
all the solemnity due such a solemn
occasion, the Apostle assured the
Court that thousands Of the Apostles
might be cast into martyrdom, yet
the gates of He'll could not prevail
against the Mormon Church. He
was admitted to bail, pending the
hearing of a motion for new trial.