Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-11
BRIGHT BITS.

THE editors chief recreation in the summer
time ia found in the perusal of circulars and
pamphlets describing the beauties of vacation
resorts. LOueU Citizen.
YALE COLLEGE has established a chair of
journalism. 1t is an Old battered af9ir with
three legs and broomsticS and filed with
exchanges for a cushion.-BurLiRgtOrs Free
Prose.
THIS is the time that the small boy who can
not swim likes his hair cut close to his head IN
order that he may go into the mill pond with
out being detected by his parents on his re-
turn.--Puck.
GENTILITY Below Stars.-Mistress-' 'Shall
you want holiday on Whit-Monday, JaDeF"
Jane 40, no. mem. l don't ike them
bank 'Olidays with such crowds of vulgar
people; 70 if you and marster want TO 20 Out,
I can take care OF the house" Mrs. Fitz-
Brown feels highly battered. funny folks.
"YEs, I've had big trade" said n COM
mer' al traveller for down town liquor
house on his return from trip. ~ think
sold whisky enough to almost float the Great
Eastern"
- What part of the country did you visit?'
mo particular part. just took in the
different watering laces."-Erchdnge.
az sAY, Cholly. ole boy, | see they've found
another bag of the mail lost with the steamer
Oregon"
Have they, though? By jove, hope they
won't find them ALL"
"Nnd why notT"
"Whv, you see, the Oregon sank about a
week after lost II letter my wife gave me to
mail to AmeTica."-TAe HuS6andmdn.
Anew DAYS SINCE a gentleman in a smoking
car on the Centrdi hudson road cook from his
satChel an evening SUIT while searching Tor n
magazine. vcrdant looking individual in
the seat behInt him, upon seeing the claw
hammer remarked: wal naOw, declare,
If there amt one % them old fashioned coats
that they used t. wear nigh onto forty years
ago and il looks just like new stuff, -
Rochester Democrat.
~ HEARD to day" remarked Mrs. Bang
whacker, ''that Young George SAMPSON, who
has only ben TO college a year, writ home tibet
he is welded to his Alma Mater. Dye know
who she is?"
mo. an | don't want to know" said Mrs.
BangwhaCEer "aTter the way he carried on
the time pr"b'iy engaged to tibet AlmY
WHAT'S Her Name. It's enough to make a
| body weep"
"GFNTLEMEN." explained New England
merchant to his creditors. as they found the
shcr II IN charge, this failure Is not my fault.
No man ever worked harder or made closer
bargains"
But we are told" replied one. "that your
wife has one silk ire that cost $3.50"
"rhat is true, sir; hut it i. one of the evil
maker KNOCK $40 off the bill before would pay
it'd do cute.
"WHAT a delightful existence it is. Farmer
! Robinson" said his citT guest, ''out here in
| InS country. now crisp anu Deautltul the
air, and the fragrance of new mown hay per
va les all. should think you would feel like
chantint peans of praise to the Creator the
| year round"
at Ia sort o nice, miss. | grant. But |
! never feel quite so mnch liz @ thanking heaven
AS do when I've scrimmaged about an get
| money enough together to pay the taxes "
! HuytT0yd Post
| AN Eastern drummer who was in Knox
! vile listened to the complaints of a noun
| taineer about hard times for ten or fifteen
| minutes. and then observed. "Why, man, You
| ought to get ricn ship ing green corn 10 the
| Northern markets " Yes, | orter" was the
! reply. You have the land. suppose and
! you so into the speculative 2" NO use.
stranger" sadly replied the native; ''the old
! woman is too dtrnet lazy to do the ploughing
and plantlng."-W u Street heaos.
ACAD-DEFINED FOR Girls
| If YOU meet a man with fur trimmed coat
! Who apes some actor of passing note,
| lf he asks YOU out the self-same week,
/ If he smokes pipe till his garments reek.
J II he smiles to hear he's going to The bad"
Hes cad.
! II another asks YOU some whore to dine,
And without permission orders wne
II he smokes as he strols by your side away
II he leaves you alone in the waits" OF the
play,
Then hints on return of the cloves he has had,
Hes a cad.
II you chance to enter an Office door
And the occupant stares anj-nothIng more
IL his hat is on ana ne leaves IL there,
II while you are standing he keeps his chair
he honor not womn by instinct, tits sad.
He's cad.
-Bostoo Co,.,5.r