Smyrna times., 1886-11-24
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

A nice pursuit: Making cloaks out
Of catskin.
Where there's will there's generally
a way-to contestit.
Some people seem to believe that it
is more blessed to give than to receive
advice.
Nothing more clearly indicates the
true man than a desire to oblige or
accommodate.
A chestnut bell has just been dug up
at Pompeii. Nothing new under the
sun, you see.
Telegraph operators rarely come to
blows, although they have a great
many words together.
The pen is mighty enough, but it is
the lead pencil that is getting its work
IN on the press Of the country.
Leaders are few, but followers 20
in focks, y is philOsOphic truism we'll
illustrated at the bar of the grog-shop.
The first ingredient in conversation
should be truth, the second good sense,
the third good humor, Sand the fourth
wit.
A young lady of Smyrna says that
marriage is a lottery" Then love
letters Oughtl.no to be allowed in the
mails.
Judging by domestic incidents the
world over, it appears to be cold day
when some poor mortal fails to get
warmed.
If we hope for what we are not likely
to possess, we act and think in vain,
and make life a greater dream and
shadow than it really is.
Another Frenchman recently under
took to whip Paris editor The edi-
torial scissors and paste pot are per
forming their usual duties, while the
doctor is taking care of the other fel-
low.
Aim high. You may not touch the
mark, but by a high aim you will come
nearer to it than by not trying at all.
Then by making the effort many per
sons have come nearer to it than at
first anticipated.
A correspondent wants to know whv
those spikes were placed on the Cod
dess of Liberty's head. We supposed
everybody knew why they were there.
1t is to prevent any other country from
getting over her.
A city belle was visiting her Tucka-
hoe cousin, and while out walking
pointed to wild plant by the wayside.
Whats that?" she inquired, THAT'S
milk-weed," ;" came the interesting ans
wer "Oh, yes, what you feed the
COWS on, l suppose"
Talk about puns: Don't you want
to buy fancy cup?" interrogated a
Dock street merchant of his customer.
"Well, yes, I'll take a couple. And
you can throw in one of those things
over there-them whatch- -yer-call-e -ems." T"
oh, a saucer you want" THAT'S it
that's what saw, sir"
There is something very unique in
the following expression of valuable
advice: "When a woman gives YOU
her love don't lay it away on ice for
safe keeping. Better keep it in the
warmest corner of your heart, so if she
calls for it at any time you can return
~ IL viz NOAAAAbAOA oAlC EdfC IL W YOU.
In one of the Smyrna schools the
other day, the reading lesson contained
some reference to "a ferocious Gaul,"
and, desiring to have the expression
fully understood, little Jenney asked
its meaning. There was a moments
silence, when a bright Main street boy
arose and respOnned: please, ma'am,
it means a terrible lot of cheek"
A farmer in Pennsylvania soaked
some corn in whiskey and then scatter
ed it in his fields. A lot of crows came
along and ate it and got blind drunk.
When they recovered from their de-
bauch, they flew away thoroughly
ashamed of themselves, and now no
crow can be induced to 90 near that
farmers fields. 1t is plain that there
are good many missing links between
crows and men.
Omaha is getting to be big enough
to attract the notice of Chicago.
Omaha" says the veracious Chicago
Rambler" is too young and rough to
have any respect for her betters. Why,
it was only few moons ago that a
man was shot in Omaha because he
wore kid gloves and had his boots
blackened. If Chicago is New York
without a collar Omaha is Chicago
without a shirt"
Another agony of the ultra sort has
just developed. "A young lady, of a
dreamy, aesthetic turn of mind, utilizes
her palette and brush in the artistic
construction of bunch of chrysanthe-
NUNS on the side of small basket,
and filling it with the genuine flowers
sends it to her best young man. The
significance of this ought not to puzzle
him. 1t means, Let us together
journey to the chrysanthemum show"
And he is out for tickets and carriage