Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-23
BRIGHT BITS.

AMERICAN WOMEN are very adaptable
IneF tone down wnen they have been IN
Europe for some time, while there are many
don Y-lM.
ABSENCE or MIND.-Mrs. r.. having heard
that. after Christmas festIvity. a philOso-
pher had b2rAed his nose By running against
the mdntelpIeCe, attributed the accident to
'nnconsclous celebration" Punch.
Az extraordinary accident occurred in
fonkers last week. young gentleman,
Just n fun, pointed and snapped an unloaded
revolver at his lance, AMI the weapon did not
20 on. TINS is the first me this has occurred
since the war. EEchdnye.
WHEN earth from winters icy grasp escapes.
And geese their fight TO northern regions
wing.
IT'S then the editorial basket gapes
TO catch the poets "Ode to Gentle Spring."
-BOstoH Courier.
TIE ChInaman Is not incapable Of humor.
Gin Fun, Sacramento laundryman. has
joined the Anti Cody League, and posts over
the door OF his washee house the sign, THE
Chlnase must go. None but Mclean man en-
ployed here" There Is fun IN Gin Fun San
FrHHc,bcO AII.
BOBBY" SAID mamma severely. get right
down. If you stand on that chair YOU Will
tall and hurt yourself. II You do It aglio I
want me to get hurt argued Bobby, what
do you want to threaten to whip me for?"
But he got down OF the CHAIR ochqRge
BOARD or HEALTH OFFICER--''Mrs. Nc
Glnnls, told YOU last month that the keeping
OF that pig up here was a nuisance and it
would have to be abated
Mr.. Mctrmnls-'An' sure Oi'vc 8haved yer
Instructions. Opve TIN ~ batting tn haste wild
club lVer since tn occasion Of yer last visit"
-Puck.
ON FOR sALvIHu.-Wheu Dennis MalIey
came out Of McVicker's theatre night before
last, between acts, he said 60 Col. Tom Geary
the Cerbcrus at the door. wall. Opu be
dommed Ell that isn't the quare-est piece Orve
lver sane How SOL" asked Col. Geary,
Tine dommcd naygur is the lest wan in the
hnl crOWd' replied Mr. Malley Ck,cdg0
Ne51s.
pa, does the sausage come out Of his hole
Candlemas day and look around for his
shadow so a. to make an early SPRING. Ma
saws II does
what are you taking sbout?" says the
papa to the little boy.
1T Is the ground hog that comes out Of his
wei, amt sausage ground hog:r-Ee,o
York telegram.
THE other night on an Arkansaw railroad
train passenger called the conductor and
Are we on tlme'
'0iad. Are we on the tracka'
- don't know, but J. I go forward and ask
Tie went away, and, returning. said. II am
informed that we lett the track about i've
miles back. We are now running on the
county dirt road. and ii we don't meet
wagon Wei be an right. You see that there
a big bend in the road back here and we
save time by taking a short cut. - rkanSal0
ITHUelsr.
A NEW MACHINE has been invented which
Of itself SETS type, justifes IL, leads it if need
be, and places 10 on galley. Another ma
chine has been devised TO distribute the tvDe
automatically; aud a third has been made by
which newspaper may be produced simulta-
ncously every morning in every city and town
in the country. When tbc iOurth machine
makes its appearance, which viii compose
and write the Jokes and other matter for che
paper, do the marketing, collect subscriptions
and bounce bill colectors-price about seven
dollars and a half-we shall buv one, take a
week of next INNER ana go a fishing .-Y0T-
riStOlen Herald
A FLOATING ITEM tells US that Omaha IS the
cheapest place in the country TO die IN. But
why die In Omaha when one can live as cheap
in st. Louis, and at the same time serve all
the purposes Of being dead in other localities?
10 Is related by one OF our most reliable citi-
zens. who has travelled mach abroad, That he
once visited the catacnmbs of Rome. Deep in
the bowls OF the earth. surrounded bv the
mOldy skeletons of other centuries and op-
pressed by the weird gloom Of the labyrinth OF
the dead. the traveller abandoned himself TO
solemn reflections.
TINS then, said he, half aloud 'this is the
city Of the dim, mysterious past-the vast
charnel house in which the glory. the flower
the cream. the ambition. Of other generations
crumble to dust. Grim mucl6er Of mortality
genius of obhv on. this granary of human
CLAW rs thy cherished and aupreme ahode,"
To this aDostrOphe a musty mummy Of the
tiuae of Nero. the violnist, raising himself
automatically from hrs couch In q mOdy
niche, replied: stranger. ! reckon you've
never been in st. Louis, Mo. '-Chicago Mems.