The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-02-25

heard erunching behind the counter, as
of lump sugar being chewed by a boy,
and he raised up out of the crockery crate
slowly, got out of it and walked on tip
toe behind the counter, and took the bad
boy by the ear and led him out by the
stove, and emptied about hat full of
sugar out of his pockets. Then he looked
at the boy. The boy began to froth at
the mouth, and snap with his teeth, and
he said:
"Oh, vaccinate me, quick, am Bit"
The groceryman give the boy kick in
the pantaloons, and said:
There, you are vaccinated. That is the
first application of Pasteur's treatment.
If you feel spells coming ON again, 1 will
give you more sole leather virus in your
system. What did you mean, coming in
here yelling mad dog, and soaring my
customers down the CELLAR" and the gro
ceryman wrapped up the cheese and call
ed the girl out of the cellar and sent her
home.
"Oh, only wanted to see if you were a
coward. But you amt, oh, no. You only
went into the crockery crate head first
just for fun. Say, do you believe in vac
cination ?" and the boy brushed some straw
off the groceryman's coat.
Eyes d." said the groceryman. "The
science of vaccination is the greatest dis
covery of this or any other age" and he
turned the boy around to give him an
other kick.
swell, SO do l." said the boy as he put
the stove between himself and the gro
ceryman. "The time is coming when vac
cination is going to be used for every
thing. I believe the time will come when
criminals will be prevented from commit
ing crime by vaccination. For instance,
suppose you were a thief, and everybody
knew it. don't say yon are" said the
boy, as the groceryman picked up piece
of barrel head, though your symptoms
are favorable. But suppose you were a
thief. Take an honest man, one every
body knew to be honest, and vaccinate
him, and when it began to work, take some
of the virus and vaccinate you. AS soon as
it began to work on you, your power of
lifting things that did not belong to you
would be gone. You would become an
honest man in spite of yourself, by vac
cination. l don't say it could be made to
work on you, but it might. II my scheme
works, and universal vaccination is estab-
lished, there will be no more crime. Then
they will vaccinate bank cashiers against
defalcations, and with the virus from an
honest minister, say, the cashier can't
steal to save him. And that will be good
way to whip Sullivan. Let him be vacci-
mated from virus taken from peaceable
Quaker, and Sullivan would become a man
of peace, and any of the boys could go up
and swat him in the mouth, and he would
go off and cry, and say he would go tell
his mother. The only thing 1 am afraid of
is that they will get to using vaccination
in politics. Suppose all the democrats
should be vaccinated with virus from re-
publicans, and it should work. the voters
thus operated upon would vote the repub-
lican ticket, and ruin the party in power"
sob, don't go on that way, you weary
me-" said the groceryman, as he took a
wash dish of water and whisk broom,
and began sprinkling the floor, prepare
tory to the regular semi-annual sweeping
out. "Tell me what the connection was
over to your house last night? I heard
your father had to be dug out of the coal
pile under the sidewalk. How did he get
there?"
"Well, I'll tell you. TWAS all his fault.
You see we have been excited about this
mad dog scare, and l asked pa what he
would do if he met mad dog. l. told
him he would get up and dust, but he said
he would grab the dog by the hind legs and
beat his brains out. He said men were
towards generally. He hated to see men
get frightened and run when any calamity
happened. I thought l would try pa,
cause I never heard of his showing much
sand. So took our black setter dog and
took pas lather brush and put lathor all
around the dogs mouth for foam. Then
I took one of these little rubber bands and
put it around the dogs upper jaw. That
made the dog open his mouth ahd
show his teeth, and chew, so as to get the
rubber off. But the dog wagged his tail
all the time, cause he knew it was only
one of my jokes on him, and he wasn't
mad. But he did look savage. When pa
came in from downtown at supper time |
was upstairs with the dog, and 1 let him
go, and he went downstairs on a gallop
to welcome pa. He thinks everything of
pa. Pa saw him coming and he saw the
IOdH OH HIS uOuJll, anu pa udlI Jueu
raised right up. The dog was going to
jump up on pa as usual, and have pa take
off the rubber band, but pa yelled, "Take
him off! He's mad! Hammer, lock yourself
in the closet and telephone for the patrol
wagon" Well, you'd dide to see
pa. He jumped right over the
dog and went down the cellar stairs
at two jumps, and crowded in the
coal-bin under the kindling wood. 1
wiped the lather off the dogs mouth and
took the rubber band off, and me and the
dog went down in the cellar and hunted
pa out. When pa saw our dog wagging
his tail and acting so happy, and no froth
on his mouth he came out and then he
said: THAT settles it, drank an egg
nog down town and it went to my head,and
I thought 1 saw egg-nog all over the dogs
nose and mouth and thought he was
mad. Poor doggie! No more egg-nog for
your Uncle Ike And then pa crawled
out of the coal-bii and gave me half
dollar not to tell anybody he was scared.
o, whew, whew, what dust! What makes
you sweep out the grocery" And the
boy went out coughing Sun.
TEXAS NEWS.
FACTS AND OPINIONS CULLED