Nevada County picayune., 1886-02-03

1 'O'.5 VI " 7 SAA '''N " AA"N not done you any good. You look pale. What you want is something to think of, to wake ycu up. For a week or so I shall be at home, and 1 want you to feel natural, just as if you expected the floor to fall in the cellar, or the roofto blow of, or can of dynamite to explode any minute. Where have I been? Been to College. I have got an education that would surprise you. Look at my head. Bumps have grown out on it all over as big as hickory nnts. That is brain, en- iarged from study. Oh, I have drank from the fountain of knowl- edge till it is a wonder that 1 have not got the educational dropsy. Studies that if takes ordinary pale boys years to master, I have tack led and mastered in single day. I am loaded for bear."
 "You look it," said the grocery. man, as he reached over and felt of some of the bumps on the boys head, "Say, this bump may be from an enlargement of the brain, but it looks to me as if it had been hit with a sledge hammer"
 "Sh! Don't give it awsy,' said tbe boy, as he winked out of his left eye. You are right. In our class there are some fellows very handy with their fists, and at the graduating exercises l was knock ed silly, One of the amateur Sul- livans in our class knocked me all around the recitation room. But you ought to see me recite ill lawn tennis and base, ball. l graduated in baseball at the head of my class, and at rowing 1 ook a med al. Football is my best holt. Look here," and he hauled off with one foot and kicked a small Hubbard squash clear to the ceil- ing, where it struck some baskets, washboards and clothes.pins, and they began to rain down on the groceryman, the squash falling on the back of his neck.
 "For heavens sake let up," said the old man as ne gathered up lot of clothes pins. ''I can understand you without any demonstrations in anatomy. But how did you come to leave college2"
 Wall, between pa and the pro- lessor, 1 had to. There were some bad boys there and all the deviltry was laid to me. They hazed me first, and then 1 had to haze the others.
 Glazed you! Now, tell me all about it. l have often read about hazing in college, and 1 have often thought I would like to know how it Is done. Show me, won't you?'
 "Oh, you would get mad" said the boy, "Pa wanted to know about it last night, and hazed him, and he wouldn't speak to me this morning at the breakfast table. Hazing is 8 scientific experiment, and most men do not understand it. If there is anything l hate it is to see a man get mad at little thing"
 "I'll swear I wouldn't get mad. !" said the groceryman. Just show me how hazing goes"
 "Well, I couldn't only give you an idea of it here in the store, be- cause I have not got the proper conditions. But if you will get down ou your hands ard knees with your head close up to that barrel with the water pail on it. l will try and demonstrate to you the first degree"
 The groceryman got down on his hands and knees, with his head against the barrel and the boy took zinc washboard and belted him across the pants, when he run his head into the barrel and tipped the pail of water all over himself. AS he rose up dripping, with one hand on his pants and looked as though he would like to kill his young friend, the boy who was peeling an apple unconcerpedly, said: "There I knew you would get mad. No man who has not got brave heart has a right to ask gentleman to haze him. But you will like the second degree better"
 "No more degrees" said the gro-