Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-24
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN Fogg heard the landlady below stairs
pounding the beefsteak he remarked that
Mrs. Brown was rendering "a banquet to the
Ooarders.- Boston TrGnScrlDt.
PROF. sNORE. of the University Of Texas,
and hoscluskO Murphy met not very long
since. ana both OF them being very inCeilgen /
they talked aoOuC scientific subjects, and
among others about echpses. did YOU see
the total eclipse of the sun we had here IN
Austin ABOUT four years ago. asted Murphy
"NO.' replied Prof. Snore, II didn't get to
see 10. WAS OUT at my ranch i've miles from
town, and when ] got back 70 was all OVER
IerIs SJtjnGs.
A MAN near Dubuque, la, had a derrick
and drii at work last taI, boring Tor natural
ga. but there were 10 Indications OF IT..
'tip", long are you gong to keep this up"'
inquired pAsser-oy.
80 % hundred md 6fty days
~ ~ seem to have agured il down fine -
son, | have. Chicagopartv puts up $500
| bore for 81 per day. 0 DIS ls the difference
TO me whether reach HI or gas WE'LL
van Street Ns1oS.
How completely the gentle reader" form
OF address, so greata favorite with our grand
fathers, has dropped out Of fashion. 1t al
wavs was pie of fa0bv af, elton, and we
are glad that IL is no longer used. We were
reading very old book yesterday in the pre-
face to which the author used the expression
gentle reader four times. 1t is recorded IN
history that the author was executed for the
heresy contained in that very book. Very
gentle readers they were, werne't they?-Te1-
as Strings.
FARHER's wife to tramp nate to turn
YOU away hungry, but 1 think you have been
drinking beer
Tramp Ds,emniyJ-"No, ma'am; III take
NY oaln. never drlHk BEER
Farmers wIfe-"W hisky, then2n
T~,mp soiemnly)-''No ma'am; I'll swear
to it."
Farmers wife-"Very well. Here's pie ."
Tramp ito his chum on the outslde)-''.Ihat
wa narrow escape. If she'd a said gin,
she d had me!'-PhslaaslDl,a can.
ARRANGING rcR SPEEDY TBP.-Lecturer
To hackman) ~ Nov You're sure your horses
are Iu good condition.
HaCA man-"Oh. yes sir. Trust me for
that
Lecturer Its onl y proper for you to know
that when get through my lecture like to
eave the hail IN a hurry"
HaCKman-"W time shall expect you,
sir:n
Le.turer-''Um; ah-well-that Will de
mend good deal on the audience. "-Ne3o York
Star.
THEY We're at a concert in Chicago. and
Bee,hovens Fifth symphony had just been
PLAYED. 1T Is beautiful" said she, but
adore the entire nine"
Yes replied her George, they are the
best in the world"
$50 striking" she added.
Cant he beat ON striking he echoed.
$50 catchlngn she sighed.
''Tnolr catcuing was what did the busi-
Their fielding Is down ia a fine point"
why. what on earth are you talk ng about
George-the Beethoven symphonies"
Not much. Pm talking OF our champion
nire. the best ball tossers on the earth ~
Musical Rerdl8.
AN OLD FELLOW who had served during sew
aral weeks on jury, created a sensation in
court by arising during a trial and address
ing the fudge. "Squ'r',' said he, lies lis
ten to me nit. If you please. I reconnize
The fact that l have maize a big mistake. I
come here en- hung round tryin' to gu on the
Jury, au' at last got thar"
'Weli. what Is The matter with yousn The
Judge demanded.
I'm comm to that. | got thar, as ! told
you, an we lit into business ! thought that
/ won d hear ali about how feers got killed
an how somebody was murdered, an |
thought that we'd say some Teller was guilty
an would see him hung. but was disappnint-
ed. Here come n lot o. cases about fellers re-
moYn' NOR gagged cotton an all about Mr.
So-and-So sum each other. but / amt
hearn nothln about KILN nor nothin' inter-
esln yit. | am "A powerful hand for fun.
Jedge, an ! never could stand dry details |
wanter hear -uthin' th&tll make nv HAIR
stand mp on end. | thought that iurvmau
mad n ne time. J thought that with HIM il
was "a regular show. hut as / tole YOU, I've
been deceived. " y mOut stay here month
foOn' with s1ch stuff, an even then wouldn't
have nolhin' Ter tell the boys when | got
home; so, Jedge. Ell yer dosr't give me a
chance TO hang fellow, IN have 10 jog long
toward home, - rk4gSdtc Tr1Usl2er.