Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-03-27
JEEMS HAXBY.
GOES TO A COUNTRY DANCE AND FALLS
IN LOVE wiTH MARIA WiGUNs.
FRoGG POM FARM. J
Mostly briars, March LIST ]

i'm still up here in the mountins ov
Pensulvanya. Spring haz cum and
the blu burds hay bene singing for
several wekes. hay met with many
adventures. Las Tusday morning
Jim cum in and sed:
"Jeems, thar's going ter be bigg
danse at Bill Yugum's to-nite and i
think wei attend. Lots ov purity Ia
dies; so get redy and vel go.
had alwas had laundering to at
tend country danse. hurled up
intoo the garet, turned mi collar out
side in, put on bras rings and mi
bone watch-chane, blakened mi del
kate mustash, and after aiding few
more tuches to mi toylet, wentd oun
stairs to wait for jim Presently
he holered
"Cam on, Jeems, the vehikle is
redy, and this ar animul fracksush." y
left the bilding In the midul
ov the rode, in an ole pine wagun
bed, sat jim, and he had the uglist
little muel hitched to it that ever
saw. got in beside him, and aftur
Sal, hiz wife, had broken Tense rale
over the mGel's back, he slowly pas
ed doun the rode. admired Jim's
butiful adornments. Hiz hat wuz
trimed with ginie fethers and SPUR
ul claws; his cote wuz ov the long
tale breed his vest wuz spotted with
pokeburys, and hiz pants wer strip
ed. He wuz evidently benz on crea-
ting a sensashun amung the damsuls
ov the months.
Evrything went along nisely until
we reched a bill. About halfway
doun, the muel gave jump and the
wagun bed fel on the groun, and we,
pitching over the dash-bord, rolled to
the botum ov the hill. The muel
snorted twise, flung up hiz yers, bus
ted the rag harnus, and DISAPPEARED
over the hill in cloud ov dust. i
groned. Jim groned. We both
s groneel4ayfsslubcd at Jim and Jim
luked at me, and saw the Jumbow
tiers role doun hiz dust cuvered Ease.
Then we groned agin. Then mi pore
friend sed:
81 fele sick. But we will go on to
the danse-it IL only miles away
Faint lady never won fair hart.
Ava we went. knew Jim wuz
mad, for when sumone cried out in
the bushes : "Who.ar-o! who-ar-o ?"
he never gave hiz name; and he ex-
pressed no pity for "pore-Wil" who
waz being whipped in the thickets.
; al ov a SUDDEN herd dogg bark
and luking up, saw lite ahead.
Az sune az we reached the house,
Jim entered without surmony, and i
folered. The house wuz quite com
modulus and large crowd of young
men, bois and gurls were present. i
luked aroun. Alredy sett wuz be-
ing formed. The fidlers who were Sc
ted on tubs, were the ugliest ever
saw. Ia little short-noze feler-
luked lik he had ben fed on pigg-fete
al hiz life; the other two were eros
eyd, and wore their hare doun over
thei T sholders.
"Salut yer partnerl" sang out Jim.
''Al bal'nce! For'rd beds! Back
aginl Rite an lief thru Ladies
changed Bak to yer phases Al
bal'nce ~
The fete flu. never saw such a
guide time! The gurls just drifted
: aroun lk shaders over the waving
whete, and the men and bois cut al
sorts ov pidgun-wings. The musick
wuz just splenderific, and mi fete be-
q gan to kepe time. Everybody wuz
s happy. i spyd butiful CURL over in
the corner. imediatly twisted the
stra hares ov mi mustash and going
quietly acros the rune, addressed her
t thusly:
81 am Jeems Haxby, lately of NJ
York Sity, now rustikating up here
for mi health. beg the plesur ov
your swete self for the mex sett," at
the same time executed roman
tick bow.
She curtised bit and swetely an
swured: with plesur. Mi name
il Marier Wiguns, the only living,
original Marier Wiguns."
That settled me. Mi hart wuz
busted. At las had met mi fate
the butiful vishun ov mi dremes. j
felt 4 fete taller. And when, in the
Z next danse, her little han tuched me,
] ov mi hart melted ava, and lived
in anuther wurl. o! luv luv rluv
you set the wurl afire and max sum
peopul awful sick. ijust shuk miseli
and put on such extra fansy steps
that the other dansers stopped tc