The Washington critic., 1886-05-10
GENERAL AND CRIrICULAR.


Mrs. James Brown Potter, 1t is an
nounced, will 60 on the stage US n profess
siopal. OF course, If she does, 'Ostler Joe
will be employed at large salary us lead
ing man. Mrs. p. can never, in justice,
go back on Joe, for he brought her out.
For two days this week the Goddess of
Liberty will get down off the dome of
the Capitol and give her place to Per-
fectly Tremendous Barnum. 2. S.--Notices
like this are worth five circus tickets per
line.
1t is stated on good authority that after
the Kirmes is over, each young lady who
took part in It, will 60 to the kitchen de-
partment and make small loaf Of bread
as souvenir for her escort. The Society
of Prevention Of Cruelty has agreed not to
interfere so long as the ladies do not insist
upon the escorts eating the bread.
A Congressman was making few unan-
imous and inimical remarks upon the Pres
ident's vetoing certain bill, when his lit
tie boy interrupted him.
"Papa," said the kid, ''what is veto?n
"Eh What?" asked the father.
"What is a vetoG"
"Oh A veto, my boy, is an offensive
partisan"
Judge Durham, First Controller of the
Treasury, has, so the papers say, gone to
Kentucky on legal business. The Judge is
very handsome, very sly and very legal.
There is also a beautiful widow In Ken
lucky. Now you have the combination
open the lock.
The kirmes, the races and the circus, all
in one week, may be taken as very strong
proof that Washington society did not get
as badly knocked out by Lent as was at
first supposed. We are glad to observe
this renewal Of youth, beauty and pleasure.
This is great country aud we are a
great people. We can monkey with the
Fourth Of July, we can go through Uncle
sam's pockets for loose change, we can
pull out the tail feathers of the American
Eagle, and we can paint everything red,
but the flag. That must stand out IN its
tri-colored beauty, the emblem forever Of
liberty, the menace forever to license
[Jedge Waxem.
Patriotic Congressman who have weak
ness for mixing their politics with their re-
ligion, 90 down to Alexandria on Sunday
and worship In the old church where the
immortal e. Washington used to occupy a
pew every Sunday-when he was there.
Since Congressman Ben. lie Fevre OF the
ex-great State of Ohio has begun to raise a
bang, the wool-growers OF his State are
moving to have bangs put on the free list
And the girls? Well
Oh, Ben., you giddy, glddy thing
Let Cupid's bow go, twang
For where's the girl will shun the curl
That constitutes your bang
Congressman Johnston Of Indiana Is hav
ing more or less fun polled at him on ac
count OF his mispronunciation, but the fol
lowing legend will set him right
q
A teacher smooth and fair,
To Mr.. Johnston, and she said:
"Why say you 'keer' for careY
SIN Indiana that may do,
But when In Washington
You ought to change your style somewhat
AS other men have done"
Then Mr.. Johnston rose in wrath
"Who says ] speak that wayY
rve dropped the Indiana way
I'm keerful what | say"
"You say yourself you speak that way"
The teacher softly said,
| And pointed out wherein he erred,
And Johnston scratched his head.
swell, we'll" he said, 'T'll go to work
| And do my best to learn,
| Then all may poke their fun at me,
| But won't keer a durn ~
The Joint Committee on Printing has az
parently been subsidized by our mornin
secular contemporaries, as 1t proposes I
muzzle the Congressional Record. This
unjust, unfair oppressive and tyrannica
II our morning contemporaries cam,
compete In an open fight with the Recon
let them not invoke the aid Of the stron
arm Of the law, but let them retire fro
the field and leave 1t to their energetic al
enterprising rival. Now is the time to gu
scribe for the Record.
Fashionable married women have adot
ed the fashion of having st. Bernard d.
accompany them on promenade, viii
the old custom Of taking most any pup
that may present itself still obtains wi
fashionable young ladies.
John Bright, the famous Engllshman,
ways carries copy Of "Paradise Los
with him. John is getting posted on I
guide book, for further reference, probabl
Mr.. Beach OF New York Is known In Co
gress as the objector's Guyed since
! great Yellowstone River speech.