The Iola register., 1886-07-30
FATHER METhusELAn
Fresh Ideas About the Grand Old MAJ
Who stood on Father Time for
Ten Centuries.

1
Who stood on Father Time for
Ten Centuries.
Ihave Just been reading James Whit
comb Riley's responses to ''the Oh
Man" at the annual dinner of the Indi
annapolis Literary CLUB, and his refer
ence to Methuselah has awakened il
my mind pnany recollections and rem
iniscences of that grand old man
We first meet Methuselah in the capa
city of a son. For three hundred years
Enoch and Methuselah logged along to
gether in the capacity of father and SON
: Then Enoch was suddenly cut down
1t was at this time that little Methuselal
first realized what it was to be ar
orphan. He could not at first realize
F, that his father was dead. He could moi
understand why Enoch, with no in
herited disease, should be shuffied out
at the age of three hundred and sixty.
| five years. But the doctor said to
Methuselah: ''My son, you are indeed
fatherless. have done all could, but
it is useless. l had told Enoch many
a time that if he went swimming in be-
fore the ice was out of the creek, il
would finally down him, but he thought
he knew better than l did. He was a
headstrong man. Enoch was. He
sneered at me and alluded to me as a
fresh young gOsling. because he was
three hundred years older than was
He has received the reward of the viii
full, and verify the doom of the smart
Aleck is his.'
Methuselah now cast about him for
some occupation which would take up
his attention and assuage his wild, pas
sionate grief over the loss of his father.
He entered into the walks of men and
learned their ways. 1t was at this time
that he learned the pernicious habit of
using tobacco. We can not wonder at
it when we remember that he was now
fatherless. He was at the mercy of the
coarse, rough world. Possibly he
learned to use tobacco when he went
away to attend business college after the
death of his father Be that as it NAV,
the noxious weeds certainly fastened his
death, for six hundred years after this
we find him corpse!
Death is ever surprise. even at the
end of a long illness and after ripe old
age. To those who are near it seems
abrupt: so to his grandchildren. some of
whom survived him, his children having
died of old age, the death of Methuse-
came like a thunderbolt from clear
SKY.
Methuselah succeeded in cording up
more of a record, such as it was, than
any other man of whom history informs
us. Time, the tomb-builder and anna
teur mower, came and leaned over the
front yard and looked at Methuselah,
and ran his thumb over the jagged edge
of his scythc, and went away whistling
a low refrain.
He kept up this refrain business for
nearly ten centuries. while Methuselah
continued to stand out amid the general
wreck of men and nations.
Even as the young. strong mower, GO
ing forth with his mower for to NOW,
spareth the tall and dignitied drab hor-
nets nest and passeth by on the other
side, so Time, with his famous hour
glass and his overworked hay knife over
his shoulder, and his long Mormon
whiskers and his high, slick dome of
thought, with its gray lambrequin of
hair around the base Of If, moved all
around Methuseiah and then passed on.
Mettusclah decorated the graves of
those who perished in dozen different
wars. He did not enlist himself. for
over nine hundred years of his life he
was exempt. He would 90 to the en-
listing place and offer his services. and
the officer would tell him to 90 home
and encouraged his grandchildren to
O.. Then Methuselah would sit around
Noah front steps, and smoke and crit
icise the conduct of the war, also the
conduct of the enemy.
1t IS said of Methuselah that he never
was the same man after his son Lamech
died. He was greatly attached to Lam
ech, and when he woke up one night to
find his son purple III the face with
Group. he could hardly
realize that he might lose him. The
idea of losing a boy who had lust
the glorious morn of his 717th
year. had never occurred to him. But
death loves shining mark. and he
garnerei little Lammie and left Methu-
selah to moan and mourn on for q
couple more centuries without him.
Methuselah finally got so far thai he
could not sleep any after four O. clock in
the morning. and he didn't see how any
one else could. The older he got and
the less valuable his time became, the
earlier he would rise. so that he could
get an early start. As the centuries
fled slowly by. and Methuselah got
where all he had to do was to shuttle
into his loose-fitting clothes and rest his
gums on the top of a large sleek-headed
cane and mutter up the chimney. and
then groan and extricate himself from
his clothes again and retire. He rose
earlier and earlier in the morning. and
more and more about the
young folks sleeping away the best of
the day, and said he had no doubt but
that sleeping and snoring till breakfast
time helped to carry of Lam. But one
day old Father Time came along with a
new scythe. and ke drew his milestone |
across it few times, and rolled the |
sleeves of his red flannel undergarments
up over his warty elbows, and Hr. Me- |
passed on to that undiscovered |
country with ripe experience and a
long. clean record.
We can almost fancy how the physi-
cans, who had disagreed about his |
case all the way through. came and in
sisted on n post-mortem examination to
prove which was right and what was
really the mater with him. We can |
imagine how people went by shaking
their heads and regresting that Methu- |
selah should have tampered with to-
bacco when he knew that it affected his |
heart.
But he is gone. He liyed to see his |