Morning journal and courier., 1886-02-26
SIGNS.

Because the baby is little yeller it's no sign he is Chinaman.-Boston Com. Bulle- tin.
 There are 1,7OO lawyers in Philadelphia and winters when there is little snow to shovel about ,650 of them suffer.-Burling- ton Free Press.
 "What straits are the most perilousa' ask ed a Sunday school superintendent, and a little boy spoke up promptly, "Whiskey straits. ."-Exchange.
 An exchange asks how to prevent cider from working. We would suggest that it be placed on the detective force to look up the recent robberies in this vicinity.-Middlebor News.
 This new book, ssHow to be Happy though Married, ," doesn't fiji the bill for old maids. They want book that will tell them how to be happy though unmarried. Journal.
 First broker to second-ssSay, Bill, why are the works of a watch like the flowers "that bloom in the springi" "Give it.up." Because they've nothing to do with the case. :" New York Star.
 ssPecans," said the train boy, "pecansa oceans? English walnutsa flbertsa" Testy old passenger-s'Go way; don't want lem; hain't got no teeth. Train boy-s'A1l right; gum dropss gum drops?'-Burdette.
 countryman to whom Mir. Evarts was pointed out at the Capitol, remarking the New York Senator's extreme length and lean ness, burst out with the comlniserating re- mark, By gosh, I'll bet he boards. Howell Courier.
 Puck would have raised numbers on front doors, so that men who stay out late may have no difficulty in finding their own houses. The idea is not new, but it is dan gerous. Many man has got into trouble by raised fgures.-Boston Transcript.
 Magistrate-fIt is your privilege, under the law, Uncle Rastus, to challenge any of these gentlemen before they are sworn as jurors" Uncle Rastus Burning pale)-"Chal- ter challenge no gemman. I'd rudder plead guilty, sah, an fro myself on de mercy ob de cot than ter git my head shot offen me. Deed I wud."
 ''Ah, the first Mrs. Byrne was a charming woman," said Byrne to his second wife few days ago. Then, seeing an ugly look on her face he hastened to say: ''You must excuse me, my dear, but then it's only natural that should mourn for her at times.' ''Oh, don't apologize,' said Mrs. Byrne No. 3, in her most pointed way. ''I assure you no one can regret her death more than I do."-New York World.
 s'That's nice looking horse to bring round for gentleman to drive" roared old Hyson. 'sTake him back; I'll ride down in the cars. AOA you doing with hima Letting him run in the corn fieldr' ''Well, Mistah Hysor," said the man, 'ehe ain't lookin' fust rate, for g fac; but deed can't help it no how. I done de best kin wid nothin' to do anythin' wid. Miss Tyson she done come to the barn an tux away de curry comb, sweat scraper, mane brush, quarter boots, clippers, safety bit an collar pad, cause she's gwine ter dec crate them for the chutch fair, she say. "- Brooklyn Eagle.
 They say that State Senator Tom Merritt went to call upon President Cleveland when he was in Washington during the Christmas holidays He received hearty welcome, for the President had heard of Tom, of course. and he had nice long talk with the humorous statesman from Egypt. 'I am have never visited Washington before" |" Well the t-t-trouble is,' said Tom in e1plan- tion, ,s't-that I m-made up my nl- mind not to c-cone here t-t-till Democrat w-was elected, and ever since the f-fourth of last March I've b-been waiting to f-f-fnd out for certain whether y-you was a D-d-democrat!"- cago News.