News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-30
NO WEDDING RING.

NO WEDDING RING.
"Violet," said the young man with
hair evenly balanced and creased
breeches, 81 have come tonight to ask
you question that has been on my
mind for weeks"
'Well, Victor" said the shy goddess.
81 am anxious to know if you would
: take me for better or for worse 2"
''Well, Victor, to look at you, I
should say worse!"
Victor is single yet. Yon1ers States.
man.
THE HEIR TO MILLIONS.
Bagley-Say no more, Aurelia, for
bid the match. Young Spriggs may be
a gentleman, but he is poor
Aurella-But he is one of the heirs to
the great Bogg estate of $64, 900, 900.
Nothing of the sort, girl! He is
deceiving thee"
"Why, pa, Pm sure that he told me
that he is one of the lawyers engaged
to defend the will.--PhiladelpAia CAL.
STICKS LIKE A PosTA GE-sTAMP.
'T have some doubts about the young
mans stability" said the minister to
Mrs. FunnybOne, respecting one of her
daughters admirers
''Have you? Well if you only knew
how he hangs on every time he comes.
till the roosters crow, you wouldn't
doubt his stability any longer" And
the minister turned sadly away IYasb-
tngtOA Critic.
A SISTERS VIEW.
First Omaha Girl-Have you had a
sleigh ride
Second Omaha Girl-Yes, was out
yesterday with your brother.
''Poor dear. How you must have suf-
fered"
"Sufrered'
"Why, yes; he took me out once last
winter, and / nearly froze. omaha
World.
NOT A LOVE MATCH.
EWas it a love match 20
f'Not exactly. She lived next door,
you know. Charles h i read somewhere
that few women continue their piano.
| playing long after marriage, and he con-
cluded to trust to it. We didn't want
to leave the neighborhood, you see; so
Charles married her. Very good in
him, wasn't it ?''-BOston Transcript.
A BRoIL.
'I see you fry your beefsteak," re-
marked the tramp with his mouthful.
eyes" said the woman, shortly,
Chow would you have it cooked.
Roasted ?''
'.No, certainly not. Broiled, madam,
broiled. may be tramp" he added |
plaintiyely, "but I'm no ostrich. -
Life.
GREAT LUCK.
''What luck did you have, dear 2" |
asked his wife, as he returned home |
from a days fishing.
"Splendid," he said, "just look at
them"
Opening his basket, he displayed a
lot of sausages.
The butcher had mixed those baskets
up.
THE WAY SHE SETTLED IT,
$50 you have broken off with Mr.. |
| smith," said Maud. "Well, l never |
could make hlm out.'
81 found him a good deal of a conun-
! drum, myself, replied Clara, $50 gave
HIM up"
b.. S-..-, TRYLEa TO KEEP Va -.
4 dSSSHASt w udJ y buC IudIlSE w Z TO
running a little fast, amt we 2
Conductor-Ye Yes, sir. The fireman's
run ahead to chase a,cow off the track, ]
and the,engineer's crowded on N: little; ]
more steam to try to keep up with him.
ODDS AND ENDS. .r.s
AN exchange has an article on !"Why.
Bees Make Honey They, make it to
cell. - -.
A FATHER may succeed in, cutting of
his son without cent but he can't cut
off the lawyers.
SOMETIMES mothers secrete the erring
boy for fear the father will hide him
when he comes home.
IF a man borrows money he does not
care to have it talked about. lie wants
to be quietly let alone.
THE rockers on chair never stick out
half so far behind at any other time as
when a man is prowling around in the
dark barefooted.
WHEN Georgiana was three, she said
suddenly one day, after long quiet:
Mamma, where do the to-days go
when they get to be yesterdays 2"
TIE sheep is mighty useful animal;
HIS DOCly Is SOOu lOI HlCdb, his WODl AOI
clothes, and his skin is manufactured
into doeskin, and even kid gloves.
ADAMsEL gave this as an excuse for
the size of her pedal extremities: She
had rheumatism when a child, and her
mother rubbed her legs the wrong way,
and rubbed her calves into her feet.
A YOUNG woman in eastern Maine
cries by the hour because she is tall
E'c This is a rather peculiar case, but
we have often heard of a man commit
ting suicide because he was ''short,"
You can always tell man who has
once been a clerk in hotel, says an ex,
change. Our experience has been that
you can't tell him much. He thinks he
knows ii all.
81 SEE that one of the new rules Of
the national game provides that where
batsman is hit by a pitched ball he is
given his base Now, what is to pre-
vent a man getting hit on purpose to
take his base 2" ''Have you ever been
hit by pitched ball 2" ''Neverm 81
!