The Washington critic., 1886-03-25
GENERAL AND CRITIouLAR.

The Ursa Major is the new name for the
most fashionable full dress worn by ladies.
Ursa Major means Great Bare.
"Astronomy parties" the latest kadash
in society. They are held, of course, In
sky arlors.
Progressive cribbage Is taking the place
Of progressive euchre, but the girls say that
nothing will ever take the place Of pro-
gressiyc sparkling as q Lenten dlvertisc-
ment.
A Boston Democrat had secured job as
ianitor in one OF the departments.
sis your work manual or mentalSn in
quired a friend not conversant with the
facts
"Mental, exclusively" he said, with in
tellectual pride, and the friend congratula-
ted him and went on his way.
"What did you lie like that forS" asked a
man who had heard the conversation.
~ didn't lic."
"You did; you said your work was men
tai. Do you call building fires, sweeping
and busting and omptying splttoons
mentalYu
"Of course do-depart-mental."
Then the other man went on his way, too.
"Misfortunes never come slngly," re-
marked Jones, when young man sat down
to play his own accompaniment to q song.
A Maine girl was in the House gallery
with her mother, who was pointing out the
distinguished Members.
(which is Mr. Reed, our Mr.. Reed OF
MaineW asked the girl.
"There he sits over near the door. That
bald-headed man with clear-cut Greek
face"
"oh." said the girl, gazing at him in
tently.
"Well,n asked the mother, after min
ute, "what do you think of hlm?"
"Think of him2 Well, think he ought
to be ashamed Of himself for wearing his
hair SO decollete."
A wits feather, FOOLS a rod;
An honest alderman's the scarcest work Of
God. New York Poet.
The 150th performance of "One of Our
Girls" will be commemorated at the Ly-
ceum on the 9Th ult.-[New York Morning
journal. Which one? How many have you
got, you gddy thing?"
Nothing fresh comes from the Oregon
any more. It's all salt now.
Stocks in New York appear to have vio-
lent attack of vertigo from the way they
tumbled yesterday.
An orthodox Wisconsin minister was ex-
communicated because he built fire under
q balky horse, and he would have been
served the same way If he had refused to
build fire under balky Christian. Con-
sistency, thou art p. d. scarce in some To-
calites.
A,cablegram announces that United States
Minister Phelps has been presented to
Queen Victoria; but the cablegram does not
announce what the Queen wanted with a
present like that. Who gave him away?
that's the next question.
Mr.. Hearst, the new California Senator,
has an income Of $4,000 a day, and his
appointment as Senator will increase 1t to
| $2,O14.24. The "a cents ought to pay his
barber bill anyhow.
The country is having streak of good
| luck: Geronimo has been captured and
| Jocook has quit lecturing for the season.
Mr.. Thomas Bailey Aldrch in one OF his
| earlier poems remarks:
In some unimagined spring
j may find my voice and sing
| The song have never sung.
Don't do it. Don't do it ! 1t has been Q
long while since you said that, and spring
time and harvest have come around, just
the same, and the liver-pad has nourishet
like gfeen-bay tree, and we have elected
Democratic President and life is so pleas
ant, and there amt bit Of use in you
making any threats like that Promise us
Tom, that you won't. That's goot
fellow.