davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

REV. RICHARD SALTER STORRs, DID,,
LII. d.. has been pastor of the Church
of the Pilgrims, Brooklyn, for forty
years. He is cold, statuesque man,
with highly cultured intellect, and
has pleased for two score years the
most exacting congregation on Brook
lyn Heights.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

GEORGE MACKRow, naval arc .itect
of the Thames Shipbuilding Company,
London, has plans for war ships OF
5000 tons. $4,000 horse power. capable
of 20 knots an hour, and carrying coal
for 5000 miles, and with a frame
which can support four 25-ton guns.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

TIE Philadelphia Times remarks:
Samuel j. Tilden and Thomas A.
Hendricks both died childless. both
were able lawyers, both accumulated
considerable property. both made wills
when in the full yigor of their mental
powers, and both have a lot of col.
lateral relatives who propose to contes,
their wills
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

THE Comte de Paris has rented for q
year the residence Of Lady Louisa Menx
at East Sheen near Richmond. in Sur
rey County. England. Lady Menx,
who is a daughter of the Marquis Of
Allesbury, generally resides in Paris.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

Eight persons were burned to death near
Fiat Lick, KY, by the destruction of the
mouth, Mass, the grand jury indicted two
men for ordering boycott. For the last
fiscal year there were IA, As, ,lS money-or-
ders iasusd, rsprsssntin2 9l82, 7l8,8l7, for
which tees aggregating Sl,2l4,5Oe were re-
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

1T is said that Vim. ID. Howells col.
lects material for his novels by '.shop.
ing with his wife. No wonder Ameri-
can women are not pleased with the
pictures made of them by Howells.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

HARRISON, who was Gen. Grant 3
body servant. and who was discharged
from the Government Printing Office a
week ago, has been appointed a la
borcr in the Paymaster-Gcneral's office.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04
Educational Instttution Burned.

The Case school Of Applied Science,
probably the finest equipped institution
Of the kind in the country took fire at
Cleveland, Ohio, Wednesday afternoon
from an exp osion in the labratory aud
burned with the loss of 100000. lnsur-
ancc 475, ,OOO.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

HIS Holiness, Leo KILL, has given
10000 francs to the sufferers by the
Grccian earthquakes, and an equal sum
for the relief Of the victims of the Tom
quin massacres
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

s'Now it's all right, It's all right, dar-
ling" said Mrs. Workhard, II have tested
1t thoroughly. Salvation Oil win surely
cure your pam in the back"
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04
Smash Up.

A collision OF freight trains at Franklin.
vile. Wis, Monday demolished two en-
Gines ana burned q dozen cars loaded with
lumber and grain. Lo 500 coo.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04
Tho Proper Wish. !.

A guest at the marriage Of deaf
and-dumb couple wittily and gallantly
wished them unspcakablc bliss.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04
NOTES OF THE TIMES.

SARAH BERNHARDT spells the i'm.
mortal William $ name Shakespeare. -
His is name which has cast great
many different spells.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

under Zankoff. with Gen. Kaulbars as head
Of the army. was frustrated s.y the procla-
nation Of d state Of seige IT Sofia.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

Every machine which dispenses with
the labor of a half dozen farm
hands, and sends them into some
other field of labor. is instrumental
in widening the market in which the
crops of the farm must be sold; and no
community of farmers is SO well sit
uated for making money as those who
are located where other industries EN-
ploy larger number Of people than
are engaged in farming operations.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-11-04

THE Religious Herald gives us the
following: There was meeting ot
the preachers of Lynchburg, Va, and
when it was breaking up DIR. John
Harmon could not find his hat. Turn
ing to Rev. r. r. Acree, he said, ''One
Of your Baptists has my hat" '.Then, :
said Brother Acree, ''your hat has more
brains in it than ever before" "A few
days after that DIR. Harmon was
passing by Brother Acree's yard-gate
and, when urged to come in, said, 81
am on my way to preach 'You can'1
preach" replied Brother Acree. $50
felt for long time,' replied DR.. Han
non, "but since hearing you the Other
day, have changed my mind"
SIG. SUCCI. in preparing for his fast
in Paris, has taken hint from the re.
port OF tho Paris College of Physicians,
apropos of his recent thirty day fast al
Milan. The Paris physicians say thai
Sig. Succi's fast proves nothing. tha,
his ''African Elixir is sort Of patent.
medicine fraud, and that a man does
not fast because he eats nothing, for BIZ
is eating. or, more accurately speaking,
living on the tissue which he stored
from his previous eating. Sig. Succ
they pronounce a phenomenon in tina,
he has more stored up-tissue from hi
previous eating than ordinary men
That Succi agrees with the report i.
evident from the fact that he now eatl
four meals day, consisting of beef
steaks, three dozen oysters, veal cut.
lets, lamb chops and a numberless
quantity of accessories. The Paris
College of Physicians have made pre-
parations to subject him to the most
rigorous scientific test
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
"CheStnutS,N

Scene: Private dining-rooE at club.
A company of gentlemen dining. Mr..
v, slightly garrulous party, loquitur,
triumphantly;
"Sharp boy, my Bob; rather got even
with him yesterday, though Guess he
found the old MN quite sharp enough
for him. You see twas this way: l had
been telling about that time when the
boat upset at Lake George and not one Of
the six in it could swim but myself, and
at the point where l swan ashore with
Bob's mother 1--WE weren't married them
that young monkey remarks:
"'Oh, chestnut
Chestnut said I; what is thatY
act means you've told it before; it's
an old story said Bob.
'Pretty soon Bob passed up his plate
for more meat Quick as flash:
Chestnut, said /.
"'What do you mean by thatp asked
the boy in surprise.
COTS an old story; you passed your
plate for more meat yesterday
'BOb looked pretty strealled, and said
if I'd give him some meat he would never
say Chestnut again. Rather turned the
tables on the young scamp, Ell? And
then his mother said, with smile:
"'You shouldn't notice those things,
Robert. Only think of the years I've
heard your father tell that storyr"
V somehow failed to appreciate the
laughter that greeted his story.-B0st0n
Record.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26

lamps that iuttered behind their shat.
tered glasses on the tenement walls, the
sonorous echo Of quick, heavy steps
rolled out of that frigid tunnel. A big
nan, with big stick in his fist, came
out AMI crossed the court. In a second
more he was banging at the door behind
which had heard the breathing. "Open
the doOrl' he called, with a savage oath.
II told you I'd come back. Open the
doorw In another breath there was a
crash and heavy fall, and the air was
rent by woman's shrieks. The tene-
ments woke suddenly, lights glimmered
in the black windows, feet rustled and
voices babbled, while curses and shrieks
rose over all Meanwhile the music kept
up in the fats, and carriages were leav-
ing the guests at party across the way.
All the savage tumult of the rookery was
smothered by the walls that shut it in,
and the responsibility of the erfect
street was undisturbsd.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
A Little Girl Who Knew How to
Raise Money.

A good story is told by the Portland
NIainel Press, of little girl, whose
mother is member of the Bosworth Re-
lief corps, which goes to show that even
at her tender age she is smart enough to
run fair. The little miss is only nine
years old. She is very pretty and lady
like. When the Relief corps decided to
hold fair, the ladies, as is customary,
asked the friends to contribute articles to
their various tables. Now, our little miss
thought she would do business on her
own hook. So she called on many ladies
she knew, interested them in the fair,
and, when it was time to open the fair,
this little miss had secured so much and
of such variety, that cart had to be
sent to collect the contributions.
This little miss was very active during
the fair. One evening Mayor Deering
came into the hall The young lady
waltzed up to him and said-her bright
face and sparkling eyes attracting the at
tention of listeners Mayor Deering,
am collecting some money for the fair,
won't you contribute"
The mayor put his hand in his pocket,
took out some money, and, without look.
ing at il handed it to the little miss. She
thanked him and went off, but in few
moments she was back again and said:
"Mayor Deering, forgot to tell you
that we proposed to print the names OF
those contributing the money am col
Letting, and when you gave me some
money you didn't stop to look at it, and
l thought you ought to know you gave
me seven cents, because 1 didn't believe
you would want it printed that the may
or of Portland, gave seven cents to the
fair"
A broad smile overspread the mayor:
face, and, drawing out his pocketbook,
he handed the little miss crisp So bill.
''Now," says our little miss, 81 hea
Governor ROBBIE is here, Mr.. Mayor, anc
l would like ever so much to be intro
duced. Won't you introduce me9"
Certainly, replied his honor, Away
gallant, "come with me-"
So the couple walked up to where thu
governor was, and the mayor addressing
him said:
"Governor, here is little girl who il
| hhAlOuo w hllOW O1O SlllSl mop 40
trate of the State"
The governor turned, shook hand
with our little miss, asked her name
patted her head and asked her what h
could do for her.
"Why, Governor Robie,n she replied
Il am collecting some money for the
fair. Won't you contributor
"Of course, I will, replied the gov
ernor; "what shall l give you?"
"Well, you Sec" said our little miss
''Mayor Deering has given me s., and
of course, tile governor of State would
wish to give more than the mayor o
a city,"
The governor was quick to see tn
joke, and laughing drew his wallet AM
handed our little miss bill to add t.
the other contributions for the relic
| fun6
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
A Born Journalist.

George d. Prentice, while editor of the
Louisville Journal, was often importuned
by college men who painted for chance
to send culver through the great read
ing world. A graduate named Edwards
was so fortunate as to secure a trial on the
journal. He was modest young man.
and did not claim that he could, the first
week, take quite all the work off Mr.
Prentice's hands, but he knew that after
the first month he could take the place
of the, chief editor and discharge his
duties in way that would render the
readers oblivious to the change The
great journalist had, by a very dear
friend, been recommended to Prentice,
consequently the editor was anxious that
the young man should do well. During the
afternoon of the third day, Edwards
went into Prentice's room, and with an
air of self confidence, began to boast of
his newspaper requirements.
''There is a great deal in the newspaper
business after all " said he
Mr.. Prentice agreed that there was a
great deal in the newspaper business after
all.
eyes, sir" Edwards continued,
''when I was at school used to think
that man could learn all about the
whole thing in day or two, but he can t
doit. think, though, that some men
inherit a kind Of insight into the journal
istic profession, don't youI"
'It seems So" Mr.. Prentice replied.
eyes, Edwards resumed, "some men
haua n natural fooi1i{y. L
opinions of others; and, sir, the beauty
of it is the natural product journalist
forms opinions so skilfully that the man
who reads it swallows it, and, by George,
sir, thinks that he himself formed it,"
Very often the case, no doubt" re.
piled Mr. Prentice.
'Now," Edwards went on, CHATS
what | regard as journalism. None of
your slip-shod business about that. !
suppose, Mr.. Prentice, you have observed
that have learned to say things pleas
antly?"
eyes,
That's one acquisition. Now, what
next would you adviser
LEARN something to say"
"Why, Il" stammered Mr.. Ed
wards, ~ thought that"
"No explanations are necessary" said
Mr.. Prentice. Then, turning in his chair
and bestowing a quizzical look upon the
upstart, the man whose idlest pen stroke
was sometimes gouging pasquinade
said:
'Your foresight is too clear to enable
you to become a journalistic
Elbow soW
"Why you see through the whole
thing. You can look into the business
of newspaper like prophet could
look into the future This in the end,
must render the business distas.eful to
you. As all strollcrs will tell you, the
most pleasant road to traverse is the one
chat Offers the largest number of sur
prlses-a glimpse of shining water, a
moments view of rich landscape There.
fore ] would advise you to give up the
newspaper business, for il will undoubt.
sdly become distasteful, like monoto-
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
A Seat on the Floor.

'Do you ever visit the Legislature"
asked member from Wayback district
to one of his constituents.
YES, l was up to Bosting yesterday
and went into the Legislature"
THAT so? Where'd you sct2"
BOZ "Sct in the gallery"
oval, call me out next time and
will give you a good seat on the floor "
"Wall, | swow, do you suppose I'd
come way from Berkshire Jest for a
chance of settin' on the floor to hear you
fclless spout2 Wall, l guess not. I
should think that after Teller worked
as hard IS | did for your election, you
might at least have offered me a chair
By hockey, this is the last time you will
get my vote. "--Lynn Union.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
Wonders of the Sea.

The sea occupies three fifths of thu
about $500 feet, waves are not felt. TIL,
| temperature is the same, varying only q
trlfe from the ice of the pole to the burn
ing sun of the equator. A mile down,
the water has pressure of over ton ia
the square inch. If box six feet deer
were filled with sea water and allowed to
evapOrate under the sun, there would b,
two inches of salt left on the bottom
Taking the average depth of the ocean to
be three miles, there would a layer Of
pure salt $50 feet thick on the bed of tn,
Atlantic. The water is colder at the bot
tom than at the surface. In the many
bays on the coast of Norway, the water
often freezes at the bottom before it doe,
above.
Waves are deceptive. To look at them
in storm, one would think the water
Travelled. The water stays in the same
place. but the motion goes on. Some
times in storms these waves are forty
feet high, and travel fifty miles an hour
more than twice as fast as the Swifte
steamer. The distance from valley to
valley is generally fifteen times the height
hence a wave five feet high will extend
+ over seventy-fvc feet of water. The forct
of the sea dashing on Bell Rock is said to
be seventeen tons for each square yard,
Evaporation is a wonderful power in
drawing the water from the sea. Every
year layer of the entire sea fourteen feet
thick is taken up into the clouds. The
winds bear their burden into the land, and
the water comes down in rain upon tn,
fields to flow back at last through rivers
The depth of the sea presents an interest
ing problem. If the Atlantic were low,
cred 1854 feet, the distance from shore tt
shore would be half as great, or /, 500
miles. If lowered little more than three
miles, say 1860 feet there would
be a road of dry land from
Newfoundland to Ireland. This is thu
plan on which the great Atlantic cable.
were laid. The Mediterranean is com
paratively shallow. A driving up of 66(
feet would leave three different seas, anC
Africa would be joined with Italy. TIT
British channel is more like q pond
which accounts for its choppy waves.
1t has been found difficult to get cor
rect soundings of the Atlantic. A mid
shipman of the navy ovcrcame the diff
Guilty, and shot weighing thirty pound
carries down the line A hole is bored
through the sinker, through which
rod of iron is passed, moving easily bacl
and forth. In the end of the bar a cul
is dug out, and the inside coated witt
lard. The bar is made fast to the line
and a sling holds the shot on. When tn
bar, which extends below tie ball
touches the earth, the sling unhooks ant
the shots slide off. The lard in the enc
of the bar holds some of the sand, O.
whatever may be on the bottom, and
drop shuts over the cup to keep thu
water from washing the sand out. Whel
the ground is reached, a shock is felt a
if an electric current had passed through
the line. -Electrical Reoiew.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
A Clock of Clocks,

The famous clock of Strasburg is put
completely into the shade by "the great
World Clock, or the ten-thousand wear
time indicator" ''It was constructed in
Germany during many years. labor by
Christian Martin, clockmaker." The
clock marks the years and leap years, and
will run for hundred centuries, when,
as the bill frankly admits, its mechanic
works" will have to be changed. The
face of the clock is about ten feet square,
and has large number of dals and lit
tie inches, where 1879 little figures have
their abiding place. These latter, as the
everready bill explains, are ito allego-
rize human life" Every minute sor-
rowful looking angel hits a bell with a
s'edge-hammer. When he has done this
fifteen times another angel in a red robe
strikes the first quarter. "The Genins, "
dressed in Louis XIV costume, turns
a dial so that the figure is shown. At
the same time the figure of child APP
pears at lower door At the second a
youth appears; at the third an
, aged man with spectacles and high hat,
and at the fourth, decrepit old wreck
with white wig. While all this is 60
ing on below, death, in the shape Of a
Comanche Indian with wings, has been
vainly endeavoring to hammer bell in
an upper niche, but an angel has headed
him off in every case and protected the
human family "by raising the right hand
in an allegorical relation" as per pro-
gramme, until the fourth quarter. Then
death gets the better of the struggle,
strikes the hour aud bundles the old man
off to eternity. The twelve apostles are
trotted out each hour. Above them is a
figure of Christ, "who blesses with both
hands each Apostle in passing" as the
bill states, with mathematical exactness.
At morning, noon and night number of
bell ringers ring their respective bells
with vindictive energy, and an old man
drops upon his knees as if some one had
kicked his legs out from under him. All
these and many other wonders, exposing
the family secrets of the zodiac, the
heather gods, the seasons, the moon, and
the globe all run regularly. The whole
structure is surmounted by cock, which
crows at 8 and IL o'clock. Pail Nal
Gazette
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26

mons path too often gone over. I know
that 1t would be a struggle TO tear your
self away now, but you should make tn
sacrifice. You owe it your father, you
mother, your creditors"
IL know there is much truth in wha
you say, Mr.. Prentice, but | have give
SO much thought to this business, tina
now to throw 1t away and engage in some
thing else would be changing the courS
of life-would be like changing the
channel of a mighty river"
Edwards smo.e his troubled breast
lifted up his moustache, put finger on
each side of his mouth, and missed tn,
spittoon about six inches.
81 foresee the struggle, - said Mr. Prem
tice; "but because struggle is foreseet
is no reason why it should be averted
Life is a struggle"
"But, Mr.. Prentice, what would you
advise me to doln
Your foresight prompts me to sugges
the advisability of running a govern
ment. [ don't know anything about tn,
chances for getting that kind of situation
at JiSoChJ, buI L NO huOW lildb NOu COulC
do up the work to the delight of TIT
queen and to the taste of the entire royal
household. Let me see. How are you
IN Greekw
'First-rate."
probably you might get a situation
as writer of circus pos tcrs."
81 wouldn't like that"
"No? Well, how would you like to floai
down the river on a raft, spending YOU
spare moments in the study of curren
navigation, sand bank philosophy, and
the wholesome casuistry of ferrymen who
charged double price when the water wa.
low, because it is low, and double pric,
when the water is high, because it %
high?"
"You are making fun of me-"
"Oh, no; quite impossible. 1 cannot
make anything of you. Here, Bill, " call
ing porter, ''let in that other graduate
and We'll give him turn. "-Arkansap
T3dgelCr.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
No One Waited on Her.

She was young, she was green, she was
very new in Washington. At a recent
swell affair she had gone with the crowd
into the refreshment room. Presently
an elegantly looking waiter for all the
world like foreign Ambassador, bowed
politely before her and murmuel:
'Isthere any one waiting on you, miss p
'Sr! sir!' she stammered in startled
embarrassment.
''PardOnnez moi. Is there any one
waiting on your
"Oh!' she sad, blushing brightly
mo, sir; not in Washington. But when
I'm at home I've got more beaus than
any other girl in town. = Washington
Critic.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-26
Life Studies, by Lige Brown.

The violin that is kept constantly in
tune will lose in tone.
There is not much difference between
careless extravaganza and hole in the
pocket.
"Heaven Revealed" is the title of
work recently issued. Another cook book,
most likely.
1t is better for the general health of
community to have one good-natured
man in a neighborhood than four doc
tors.
The parent who never tells child that
he loves it except when about to give it
good licking makes terrible mistake.
Some people go on the principle thar
the best discipline for boy is to find out
what he doesn't like, and then give him
oceans of that very thing.
In every life there comes a time when
hope is crushed, but the man with
healthy liver and a shirt that doesn't
pitch in the neck, seldom gets discour-
aged.
The average man goes about some things
with as much awe as an old maid would
handle razor. Coming in from TIN,
lodge at 2 A. NJ, for instance.
A stove manufacturer has come to the
conclusion, after trying several methods,
that the best way to create draught is to
go into the back yard and sift ashes.
1t may be that one reason why woman
gentle being with seraphic eyes and
quick moving chin--is so frequently
pointed in her remarks, is because she is
so generally given to carrying pins in her
mouth
Love is said to be the motive power of
the world, and yet tifty-six women out of
every ninety-two will stick to it that a
well seasoned broom handle is more reli-
able than general suasion for immediate
results.
A shrub has been discovered in Colum,
bia which exudes juice that will stop
the flow of blood almost instantly, no
matter how severe the wound. A bottle
of it ought to be carried in the coat-tail
pocket of every man who has a fashion
of poking his nose into other peoples
business.
Some folks claim that there is no evil
that is not followed by an overplus COM
pensating good At Pueblo, Col, cat
and dog, which had been playing with
some clothing belonging to II child THAI
had been taken with scarlet fever, both
took the disease and died. Discouraged
people who have lost faith in boot jack
should paste this in their hats