The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-10-06
Squire Hobbs on the Cyclone.

10 HOt plcluic iiic 'o i'pooi"s "po" 'hV
downy lap of meek and gentle cy-
clone. for never so repose. Oh. no;
| wouldn't think of doing such n
thing. always repose upon some 9th.
er lap.
DO not imagine that have succeed
ed in lassoing wild, frisky, bowling
cyclone, and broken il TO work in har-
ness. either single or double. or TO ride
bareback. A cowboy might dc this, but
am not a cowboy.
Not that | am cowardly, for | have
vague suspicion q believe ! have left
II in my other vest pocket, thought that
there Is q vast amount of bravery Sc
creted somewhere about my physical
being that only requires suitable oc-
casion to call it forth in all its majestic
dignity; but the suitable occasion has
not yet made its appearance.
believe it Is waiting to take root in
the vcrdant sod above my grave, where
it will grow up, blossom, and send lis
fragrance galloping about upon the
molecules of ether, herald'ng to the de-
lighted public what | might have
been had the worlds attention been di-
rected to my most excellent character
istcs and capabilities.
No, | have never ridden cyclone.
In fact, | have never had desire
to ride one. ] am naturally timid
about such matters. ] have always
been noted rs very careful man. 1t
was that great and good man, Mark
Twain. l believe. who said, Discretion
is the better part of valor." Now, j
like that. Its inspiration prevents me
from acting rashly on many occasions.
This is one of them.
never expect to ride n cyclone. l
am constitutionally opposed to it. l
wouldn't ride one; no, not even if my
mothcr-in-law were to command me,
and emphasize her remarks with u
broom handle.
Very little is known about the
cyclone. When making n neighborly
call it never remains long enough TO
enable us to make its acquaintance.
lis origin is enveloped in black pail
of mystery, too. Zoology gives it no
place among its skeletons. we look for
it in vain IN the herbarium, and we
know from experience that it is too in
dustrous for fossil.
1t is believed by many that il has no
origin, but that it turks in dark caves.
gloomy hollows, dense forests, and
other convenient hiding-places, whence
it can pounce out unaWares upon its
unsuspecting victim.
There is tradition that it is in uni
son of all the unsavory spirits cast out
of those hogs, spoken OF in some vol
ume Il have forgotten the name of the
book on ancient history, bv Il renOwn-
ed conjurer Il can't recall his name
Just now who performed many won
derful tricks in days of old.
suppose the cyclone could relate
very interesting autobiography If prop
erly interviewed; but no reporter has
ever vet been found who had the gall"
to stand up in the august presence of 4
cyclone and PROFOUND nterrogatories.
The cyclone is very industrious. Ii
never gets tired. l don't remember
that ever saw one sitting in the shade
calmly resting.
1t is very strong, and can perform
some wonderful feats. saw one
throw n brick house through q high.
stone wall without making hole IN
the wall or dislocating n brick in the
house. (Now look here, if you call me
a Lar again I'll stop right here and not
tell you another word about the cyclone.
things have come to pretty pass, in
uve', when an honest man must call
into requ ston the services Of notary
public whenever he wishes to make
sta'ement)
On another occasion saw q cyclone
turn well wrong side out as neatly as
II miller would turn meal-sack. This
is a fact, because | was there and wit
messed the feat. / remember that | was
on the outside of that well when the
operation began. but when it was fin
ished | was on the inside.
knew of another well that a cyclone
turned upside down without removing
a stone in the wall, and left it stand like
a tower above the ground. 1t soon
filled itself with water. A. town has
sprung up around it, and it is now used
as the standpipe for the city water
works.
could tell you of many other true in
cidents, but ! am very proud of my
veracity, and don't want 1t tainted by
suspicion.
The cyclone is a great dancer. In
fact, it is always dancing. Its favorite
dance is the waltz 1t is not particular
about its partners. for it will waltz with
anything, from white-oak to speckled
COW, or from a stone mansion to pref
ty girl. 1t is not always as polite as the
rules of etiquette demand. for it never
waits for the consent of its partner.
never saw anyone that wanted to waltz