davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
WHAT Is LOVE?
Johnny's Pa Answers the Very Difficult
Question.
From the Cincinnati Times.


From the Cincinnati Times.
The train merrily rolled toward Cincinnati
this morning as though anxious to add its
quota to the city's toilipg masses. Johnny
found it a pleasant pastime to watch the
groups of pretty girls pose in graceful posi-
tions on the parental portico as the train few
past.
Say, pa, does the girls always look that
nice?h
Most always, Johnny, but this is an extra
occasion, SO they make extra efforts in the
posing line.'
why do they do so. par"
"Slmply because this is a mail train, my
son.
PA, was you ever In love2 What is love,
anyhow"
"My dear, you are getting worse and worse
every day. OF course l have been in love.
Everybody has been some time or else will
be. Some persons manage to hold out very
long time, but the longer the time the more
ridiculous heap they make when they do come
down."
II expect that is because they get tired of
holding out so long, hain't it, pa?"
II guess so. AS to what love is. Johnny, l
can't tell you anything about it, only it makes
man who is but flatboat in the current OF
life rig himself out and snort like double
decked steamer. The period of love is the de-
lirious period in life's titful fever. and"
81 don't know what that is, pa"
Neither do | want you to, Johnny. until
You are man, for when the fever comes you
will want cool and level head to keep you
from making fool of yourself" and the old
gentleman closed the conversation by closing
of the chair to smile very broadly at some
pleasant recollection.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
High License.

The article which appeared in the
MORNING NEWS couple OF weeks ago
showing the results of high license in this
city has attracted wide attention. 1t has
been extensively copied and commented
upon.
One reason the article has attracted so
much attention is, doubtless, that high Ii
cense has succeeded admirably here, and
has been productive of much better re-
suits than in many other places, where it
has been, or is being, tried. Another rea-
son is that in almost every State in the
Union discussion is going on relative to
the respective merits of high license and
prohibition. High license has its advo-
Gates as well as prohibition, and in not a
few localities it is more popular than pro-
hibition.
In many of the places where high Ii
cense has been adopted, however, it is not
being given fair trial. The law is not
enforced as it is i'll Savannah, and hence
very soon even it's advocates cease to re.
gard it with favor. For instance, the
Troy On. Y Budget, after quoting the
article in the MORNING NEWS, comments
as follows: "How different the expe-
rience OF Troy from Savannah. Troy has
some 700 or 800 saloons. The law is per-
| feet for the collection of license fees, and
yet only some $4,000 are collected from
licenses. The police authorities from top
to bottom are lax and inefficient in en-
forcing license laws. They don't do their
duty. They allow the city to be robbed of
many thousands of dollars annually in
uncollected license. Complaint does no
good. Newspaper comment is wasted in
vain over the officials who openly, know
ingly, without conscience and without
remorse, neglect to enforce the law, and
daily unblushingly violate their solemn
oaths of office. They even allow their
own policemen to become the bondsmen
OF and sympathizers with murderers,
burglars, thieves and the worst sort Of
unhung villains. 1t IS idle to complain.
We don't suppose there is any remedy for
such official looseness this side OF 'sheol. -
There are sometimes reasons for com
planning of the failure to enforce the laws
IN this and other Southern cities, but as a
general rule the laws in cities OF the South
are much better enforced than in cities of
the North. The people Of this city should
feel thankful that they have no such off,
cials as those Of Troy On. Y. are repre-
scented to he by the Budget OF that city.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
A Rather Close Gall,
From the Pitts6urg Dispatch

GTOHt tte 4 tStSOUFS DfSDd6CHs
"My DEAR" said Mrs. Simpkins, the other
morning. with reproachful smile, II have
had no letter from Cousin Jane in three
weeks"
"Well, love-" was Mr.. SimpLins' plausible
reply, his conscience meanwhile getting in it's
work with both feet and hands in such a
manner as to make him wInce-'Well, love,
presume she Is busy"
perhaps she is; but don't believe she has
heard from me in a longer time than that"
"IndeedP' exclaimed Slmpkins, trying to
look as much surprised as possible.
Yes. indeed" responded Mis-. Simpkins,
beginning to look severe. "Yes, indeed, and
Mr.. Simpkins, ! would like very much to
search your pockets"
''Search my pockets. Mrs. Smpkns! Mad
am, what can you mean? A woman, madam
should have more confidence in the man she
has promised TO love, honor and obey.
Madam, am surprised
And placing his hat on his head with a dig
ni1ed flourish. Mr.. Simpkins strobe through
the doorway and up the street. Around the
cOrner, however. his dignity disappeared. he
looked cautiously around, placed his hand in
his inside coat pocket. fshed out soiled and
crumpled letter addressed to Cousin Jane.
called softly to a small boy, gave him quar-
ter to take the letter to the post office. and de-
parted on his way with sigh of relief
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
PERSONAL,

BRET HARTE is engaged on a new Christ
mas story. to be entitled THE Queen of the
Pirate Isle"
DAN DE GUILE, Mark Twain's ex associate
on the Virginia City Enterprise, is writing
history OF Nevada.
w. j, brennan. the Democratic nominee
for Auditor General, is said by the Pittsbnrg
Post TO be total abstainer.
TWELVE hundred and fifty tourists have as
cended Pixies Peak this summer, and vet they
say the tendencies Of the people are not in an
upward direction.
The editor OF the Seville tFla.) Gazette
may be fUly described as a cOsmogonol man.
He runs a newspaper. saw mill.a post office.
real estate business, and practices law
DEMOCRATIC ENGLAND is wondering if when
Sir Arthur Bass, of ''pale alen fame, enters
the British peerage AZ Baron Burton of
Rangemore and Burton upon Trent" he Will
do the natural and generous thing and "set
up the beers"
MRS. MARY BARHART, an Erie county
miser, who owned great deal OF real estate
was killed by a Lake Shore railroad train
while out picking black berries on Wednesday
About $1,000 was found sewed up in a belt
around her body.
IT is announced that Mrs. Cleveland has
consented to open the Minneapolis Exposition
wire is to be extended to the Presidents
cottage in the Adirondack mountains and at
the proper time Mrs. Cleveland is TO press a
Brpgi-
dent is in danger OF being in Communication
with civilization after all.
AT Chautauqua recently there was n class
of fifty who entered a competition In Englsh
pronunciation. At the end of one hour forty-
four had gone down on errors, fifteen minutes
more settled. three more. The remaining
three withstood the tests without failure for
forty-hve minutes more, when two failed
This left MISS Mary Z. Cook, teacher in the
Buffalo Female Academy, the winner.
Mr.. HAMERToN says the English laborers
are ill-mannered. and gives the following in
stance: A mason shouted out n criticism upon
n new top coat which MIR. Hamerton was
wearing. why cannot you let my coat
alOuey came by II honestly; il is paid for >,
said the injured gentleman. paid for. is itY,,
he answered, with sneer Of inefabie con-
tempt. ut woddn't "A bin II tn 'ad 'ad to
'addle tn brass learn the money!.
THE following conversation was Overheard
at the Point of Pines on a tlrework night Tho
speakers we're well dressed middle-aged
woman and her husband. and the moment was
curing brilliant shower OF pyrotechnic lew
els. Said she: ION, John, amt il ioveIvg,,
He: "Why. yes, it's pretty good" "Good ?
lite lovely, lovely, lovely I've never seen
nothing like IL before" "P'raps not, but
you'll get used toi by and by. Its as good ma
this every night in heaven
THERE comes story from Mount WASH
ington to the effect that recently party con
sisting Of a slim legged youth OF Inc du,Ie va
riety and two young women became lost in
the ravtne. At LAST a party OF gentlemen
found then and were Obliged to carry the
broken down girls much OF the distance
eight miesl that interviewed between The
spot and a place of safety. The yonne man
OF he lost party. in the fnllness of his graft
tude, gave his rescuers several airs on the
harmonica. ,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
The Walls Must Go,

1t is pretty well understood now that
the walls of the old cemetery are to come
down. Public sentiment is in favor of
taking them down, and what public sem
timent DEGREES must be done.
When the walls are removed and the
grounds cleared up and made attractive,
the wonder Will be why the Improvement
was not made sooner. When it was pro-
posed to take the iron railing from around
the Greene monument there was objection.
Before consent was given to remove
it an agreement had to be entered
into that if the public ever demanded
that it should be put back those in
strumental in having it removed should
replace it. That railing is slowed away
somewhere, and it may be that the city is
paying storage on it, or paying some
body to take care of it. Will it ever be
needed again? OF course not. 1t is
doubtful If ten citizeus could be found
who would like to have the railing around
the statue again? The statue looks
hundred per cent. better without it, and
the square looks better without it. SO it
will be with regard to the old cemetery.
When the unsightly walls are removed.
the underbrush cut out, and the place
improved, the change for the better Will
be 80 great that people who have had OBJ
jectlons to removing a brick from the
walls, or to cutting a briar or a weed
within the enclosure will wonder how
they could have been so blind.
In improving the old cemetery nothing
is going to be done that will violate the
most sacred sentiment that anyone may
entertain with regard TO the place. Per-
mission has already been obtained for re-
moving some OF the principal tombs, and
no trouble is anticipated in getting per-
mission to remove others. Those who do
not care to disturb graves in which they
have an interest, will discover, if they
will take the trouble to inquire OF those
who have the matter of improving the
place in charge, that there can be no
! reasonable objection TO the changes that
are proposed. The cemetery will be
changed from resort OF improper char
acters, a roosting place for chickens and
a haunt for cats and other animals, to a
pretty little park. where the grass will be
iuvitngly trimmed and the GLAD laughter
OF children will be heard.
If there are any who oppose
such an Improvement as this
they can hardly be Influenced
by feeling Of sacredness respecting the
dead whose graves are there. This gen.
GRAFTON is willing to remove the dead in
all cases where it is desired, and to give
the place the character OF n park, The
next generation, in all probability, will
not inquire about graves, but will put the
ground TO some useful purpose.
Before many months, doubtless, the
walls which have begun TO crumble, and
which have served all the good purpose
they can, will have disappeared. Walks
will be laid out and trees planted, and
that which is now an ugly, disease-breed-
ing spot will be place of beauty.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
Feminine Pockets.

A DresSmdker IN the Globe Democrat.
The manner of putting in pockets in wo-
mems dresses nowadays is very puzzling. It
always dld bafile man to find them, but now il
battles the woman herself. 1t is no unusual
thing for lady to come back TO our head la
dies and ask them to show them the pockets
and how to get at them. You see the peck cts
nre liked in the plaits, and do not show at all.
You frequently see lady on entering store
cap her hand down where her pocket should
be. The observer does not notice anything,
put you may depend on 1t that she has found
her pocket II she goes ahead, apd n she turns
back she has not. Recently noticed one lady
coming back three or four timer, and, think
ing some blunder must have been made. I
made Inquiries. 1t was only to fnd her poek-
CT, aud each time she had got caught In a
store, unable to find the entrance TO he pock-
ct when she wanted TO got something out.
NE savagely answered her soft good night,
And, sitting his wrath, strobe away,
For his new white tile, of fayorite style,
HAD been used by her dog, In play.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

TUHt ne bO6LON HsFuIU lIW1'J
Those who talk so fluently of a war with
Mexico would do well TO read the war articles
in the last number of the Century magazine.
The only conclusion to be drawn from these
presentations of facts is that the Federal gov
eminent made terrible mistake in intrust-
ing the command of the army of the Potomac
to Gen. Burnside, With the best disposition
In the world, he entered upon campaign
which the enemy knew, and Burnsde's sub
ordinate officers believed would be losing
one. In consequence OF this error of judg-
ment. thousands of lives were absolutely
thrown away, for nothing except display of
courage and determination was attained.
This is one of the penalties of war, and it is
one just as likely 20 occur on future occasion
as at the time referred to.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
INDEY qONBW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETING-Georgia Hussars.
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-ConsIgnees per Brlg
Robert Dillon; Hard Matter, Townsend, Prin-
ter.
SPECIAL BARGAINS PoR THIS WEEK-A. Il.
Altmayer Co.
FxoURsGoN-Sunday to Warsaw.
UNSURPASSED BARGA tSs--At Eckstein's.
SCHOOL FOR BoYs-John A. Crowther
Principal.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent:
For Sale; Found: Lost; Miscellaneous.
SLATE MANTELs, ETC.-John A. Douglass
Co.
EDUCATIONAL South Georgia College,
Townsville, Ga.
HARD WooD FINIsH-John T. Murtag.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
INNOCENT ARABEL BLANK.
She Causes Her Pa to Sit on the Damp
Sand and Weep ScaIding Tears.
From the Philadelphia Times.

From the Philadelphia Times.
Arabel Blank is a dear, winsome little crea-
ture who lives not many miles from either
Girard avenue or Fifteenth street. She is
Philadelphia born, and has been educated IN
very select school for young ladies, where
more attentions given to posing and attitudes
than to real study. Arabel is one of those
gushing, liquid-eyed girls who knows nothing
whatever of country life and is so charmingly
lgnoraut OF cows, potato patches and the like
that she actually makes man pity her.
Last week Arabeps dear papa took her to
Cape May Point, and while there pointed out
to her flock of birds on the beach. There"
said the old gentleman rs the flock rose in the
air, look at those birds, Arabel. They are
curlews.''
"Oh," cooed the maiden. opening her big
innocent blue eyes, ''how lovely, how per
fectly splendid. Just to think. pa! 1t was
only yesterday that I was reading that dear
delightful poem of Mr.. Gray's, which begins:
The curlew tolls the knell of parting day"
Only imagine those tiny creatures, pa tolling
great bell. How very stranger
Thenjthe old gentleman sat down on the
damp damp sand and wept scading tears,
and howied until the people thought he had
the cholera.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
ANNUAL SPECIAL EDITION
OF THE
Savannah Morning News
AND THE
Savannah Weekly News,
TO BE-
ISSUED ON SATURDAY, SEPTEM-
BIER 4, 1886.

The annual special edition of the DAILY
MORNING and the WEEKLY NEWS, issued on
Sept. 4, will this year be larger than ever be-
fore. 1t will be an edition that Will be credit
10 the city, and savannah's business men will
have both pride and pleasure in distributing
copies of 1t among those with whom theYhave
business relations throughout the country.
ut will contain a complete and comprehensive
review Of the trade of the city for the past
year, aud vii, show the progress the city has
made in r.ryth ng that helps to make up Its
wealth and that contributes to its prosperity.
The facts relating to cotton, naval stores
and the different branches of the city's whole
'sale trade will be so presented as to give a
clear idea of the city's business for the year
ending Sept. l.
The facts relating to the city's growth will
be given in detail, and attention will be
drawn to prominent buildings which are
projected.
Attention will be called to the additional
territory which has been made tributary to
the city by the extension of the Centrals sys-
tenn into South Carolina. and the construction
of new lines by the Plant system in Florida.
The benefits which will flow to the city from
the construction of the Savannah, Dublin and
Western road and the proposed road from
Tallahassee will be pointed out. In fact, this
Sept. edition will put savannah's business
and Savannah's prospects for increased pros
perity before the public in their true light.
a limited amount of space will he reserved
In the united editions for advertisements.
The rates for advertising Will be rs usual.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
III Were You.
From CAnmbnrs, ,LnnrnnL.

FROM Chambers journal.
Why did he look so grave? she asked,
What might the trouble be?
"My little maid" he signing said,
suppose that you were me.
And you weighty secret owned,
Pray tell me what you'd do?"
IL think I'd tell it somebody"
Said she, If were youw
But still he sighed and looked askance
Despite her sympathy,
"Oh, tell me, little maid" he said
Again, "if you were me,
And If you loved a pretty lass.
o then what would YOU dor"
81 think I'D 20 and tell her So"
Said she, "if were youn
"My little maid, It's you," he said,
''Alone are dear to me-"
All, then she turned away her head.
And ne'er word said she,
But what he whispered in her ear,
And what she answered too
o no, cannot tell you this;
I'd guess, If were you!
q. CIjfton Bingham
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22
Have Nothing to Do With Dead People
From the 81. P1tlL Globe.

from tNe Oks raul UkOO6.
"Take my advice" remarked a traveller
from Wisconsin to a companion on the Mil
waukee "limited" train, as the two occupied
the smoking apartment of sleeper, land
have nothing to do with dead people right
what are you talking about?" asked his
seat mate.
Pm talking about laying out dead people.
And what is more, know what Pm talking
about, for I've handled more than my share of
dead men,"
"UndertakerP" queried his travelling COM
panion.
NO." replied the man of experience, 81
never was an undertaken nor never sold any
undertakers' goods. But in my old home,
Beloit, Wis. knew every body, and some way
or another they got in the habit of sending for
me to asslst in liking the remains for burial.
l got to be quite an expert at the business,
and never thought of any disagreeable feel
ings in connection with the work. A change
came over me, and now am just as nervous
as man can well be while fooling around the
cold and lifeless body.
But the change was the result of an acct
dent. One Of my old friends died, and was
promptly on hand to assist in preparing his
remains for their last resting place. NV first
object was to adjust in place a set of false
teeth which. Immediately after death, had
slipped out 81 place. was alone. Without
thought put my hand in his mouth and
drew the plates in position, when, much to my
surprise and inconvenience, the dead mans
jaws closed down on my hand like a wise. My
surprise gave way to pam as the set avs be-
gan to press harder ard harder on my fingers.
II had only one hand to work with, so I was
unable TO move the jaws and get my fingers
out and the rigor OF death was becoming more
and more manifest the longer waited. Just
at that time the widow of the dead man wan
dered into the room. She saw my position
and imagining that her husband had revived
tainted dead away. Assistance finally came
and the old lady was carried out, after which
was rescued from the wise of the dead mans
jaws.
''Since that experience have been afraid
to wash dead man. as / imagined all sorts
of things and lasting injuries received from
touching the dead.'
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

1t is well known that two brothers
named Taylor are running against each
other for Governor OF Tennessee. There
is now prospect that their father will
also be in the race. The prohibitionists
woman sudragists will put up Mrs.
Taylor for their candidate, the whole
Taylor family will be in the field each
against the other. A family contest is
generally a lively one, and that OF the
Taylor family would not perhaps be an
exception to the rule.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

W. q. Sewell, of Washington, and Gen.
Roger A. Pryor, OF Brooklyn, lifted Murat
Halstead, of the Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette. and John II. Mclean, of the Gin
cinnati Enquirer, out Of u situation on
Thursday that, at one time, looked re.
markedly warlike. Halstead clearly
meant business, and when he found that
Mclean didn't do 1t and didn't know any
thing about tia publication in a Cincin-
natl evening paper-he was very glad,
because 1t relieved him ofthe necessity OF
attempting to make little angel out OF
him. Mr. Halstead has discovered that
there is limit TO his forbearance, and it
would be a good thing If he were to dis
cover also that there are other people
whose skins are no thicker than his is.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

A man cannot always do with his
property as he wants to. The latest in.
etance in point is that OF Mr.. Samuel
Wood, OF New York, who left his estate
o executors for the purpose offoundlng a
Iuslcal college, but whose will has been
et aside in favor Of distant heir-at-law.
It's not the fault OF a testator that his
urpose is defeated on account OF a de-
lctive will. but OF the law or lawyers.
men would use fewer words in their
ills there wouldn't be so much danger
its being set aside.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

FroD, the ReU York Trjbune tRep)
The league convention at Chicago has baf-
He'd the hopes of the enemies Of Ireland, II
has been one of the largest gatherings OF
Irish Americans ever held, and notwlth-
standing alarming rumors Of feuds and dis
sensions 1t has proved a remarkably strong.
reasonable and harmonious body. If any APP
prehensions were felt lest this representative
bly, should revolt against Mr.. ParnelPs
leadership and advocate a policy of force or
dynamite outrages, the enthusiastic recep-
ton OF the Irish deputies and the unequiyocal
declarations of the retiring and incoming
Presldents speedily dispelled them.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

Medina, on whose account Cutting is in
a Mexican Jail, says he refuses to bring a
civil suit for damages against Cutting on
the ground that ne only wants satisfaction
for the attack on his honor. On this occa-
sion cash has no attractions for him.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

Cotton will soon begin to come to mar
ket, ana the cotton men are coming home
from seaside and mountain resorts, where
they have been spending their vacation.
A very prosperous year is expected in
cotton circles IN this CITY.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

Squire and Flynn, the New Workers
who have suddenly risen to great noto-
riety, don't want to be tried at once on
the indictments against them. Before the
indictment was found they talked as If
they would be ready for trial at once and
at moments notice. 1t looks as if
much Of their talk were buster.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-22

1t requires five steamers to bring the
native iron ores OF Cuba to Philadelphia
TO mix with the Pennsylvania ores. AS
this Cuban ore is heavily taxed at the
custom house, the manufacturers who
use It cannot be very much in favor OF a
high tariff on raw materials. Could not
the same iron be obtained in Alabama ?
II so, the manufacturers who use the Gu
ban iron could effect great saving.