The Washington critic., 1886-06-28
This morning at eight
| knocked at Berlin gate.
My parents were glad,
But | yelled like madn
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

President Lincoln In 1861.
T -
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.
When Grover came home yesterday
From of bis fishing trip,
His frankie met him at the door
And carried in his grip.
As Grover dressed himself to dine
His wife, with merry shout,
Unlocked the grip and set it down
To take the contents out.
A last weeks shirt, pair of socks,
a garment, white and wide;
A collar and a pair of cuffs,
A tie that had been tied.
These things she took from out the grip,
And then delayed her task,
AS from the depths she brought to sight
An empty, battered flask.
"Oh, Grover, what is thisY" she cried,
And Grover looked and smiled:
Then blushed and hesitating, said:
"Why, that's q bait-cau, child"
"a bait-can, dear?n she questioned him,
"What makes II smell so queerpn
"Oh-ah," /" he said, "that's spirits to
Preserve the bait, my dear"
"You sweet old thing" she softly said,
With other loving terms,
'TIow good and kind you are to those
Poor little fishing worms"
MORAL.
The younger the wife the more wool
husband can pull over her eyes.
A citizen was basting an Anarchist from
stem to gudgeon, when his friend inter
rupted.
"will you take that ?" ho said to the An
archist.
stake it," continued the citizen; "of
course he will take it. An Anarchist will
take anything except bath"
One of tho greatest delights OF hot
weather to married man is that his wife
never says anything about new sealskin
sacque.
"What are the products OF Vermont ?"
the teacher asked the class in geography.
"MaIble, Morrill, and Edmunds," replied
Congressman's little boy at the foot of
the line.
lie went up head.
A wealthy New Yorker and his lovely
daughter were seated IN their elegant parlor
and the girl was crying.
"Don't cry, darling that's papa's dear"
he said, strokiug her baudoline tresses.
81 WW cry" she said, jerking away from
him "You said | should marry an Eng
lish lord and you haven't done it, you mean
old thng.n
"Tbere, there" he said, soothingly; at
was not papa's fault, dear. But don't cry,
baby, and you shall have one of those nice
French princes who have recently been ex-
| pulsed"
"Oh, papa, you dear old fellow" and she
kissed him lavishly and dried her tears.
The following photographic items are
vouched for by the editors In the sections
whence they emanate:
1t is SO dry in Wheeler County, Texas,
| that the people have to sprinkle the water
before 1t is wet enough to drink.
In Limestone, KY, the water is so hard
that the inhabitants use plates Of 1t for win
dow glass.
| The drouth In Arizona is so severe that
the water in a mint julep rustles like q
bunch of dried leaves.
The intense dry weather in Sangamon
County, ILL.,, has made 1t possible for the
citizens to wipe their hands and faces on a
sheet Of water.
The ducks which frequent water course
in the drouth section of Mississippi have
been laying hard-bolled eggs for the last
three weeks
There is stream In North Carolina SO
clear that stranger walked right into II
and was drowned before he knew the
stream was there.
The drinking water In Philadelphia III
summer is so thick that 1t is customary tc
slice it up with knife and serve it with ice
When Morrison reads Randalls bill
1t makes him have the shivers;
And forcibly he does to it
What beavers do TO rivers.
1t riles the soul Of Virginian clear
down to the sub.cellar when he sees this
sign:
Breathes there man with soul so dead,
| Who never to himself has said
Ihs'is Malone, my native land.
Secretary Manning is being quoted above
par. MIR. Bland wants to give him silver
certificate OF health,
VIRGO MARIA.