The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-26
X
Observe X

* * honey and Try to be as Il
* wise as these by saving all y
y X your money. You smoke, say, X
* five cigars away, and drink, say, x
y X six times dally; cards, pool and
billiards, too, you play, ana *
* treat the fellows gailv. In TWEEN
ty years this fun will cost, &C 4
X X cording to good scholars, with
interest and time that's lost, *
X just SEQ, 600. But if you count
your loss of health and ~self-in-
tlictcd trouble. you'll find this
foolish waste Of wealth will figure
more than double. Then when it's
time no more to slave, but pleasure
take, so sick you will feel because YOU
didn't save you'll want some one to kick
you. So immitatc those busy bees and
all your pennies treasure, and then,
when older, take your ease with forty
years of pleasure. Chicago Sun.
IN SAN FRANCISCO.
The San Francisco girl of 1885 is
principally remarkable for her ability to
express with a double back action COM
bination of conciseness and volubility.
She has a clever trick of economizing
time and space by running two or three
words together. She never pauses for
the ordinary distractions of grammar,
and when clear, comprehensive English
fails her, she instantly resorts to words
of her own coinage. The r. G. offers as
an example the following Intercepted
conversation "'Lo! Whereyergoin2"
"'Lo! Jus downear to the dress
Makers" '~'Dressfnisht?" "Mm -
nm! Not quite; 'sgointube lovelyr"
''Howshimakinit2" "Oh! l dunno; lit
lie jiggers down the front and ple~atins-
roun the bottom sorter sprangly eff
feet. Musrurry good-by !" = Necs-
Letter.
HE v
Judge Thomas A. Moran, of Chicago,
has a large family of children, of | of
whom he is justly proud. The day after
he lad been presented with twins he
was listening to jurors excuses, when a
man who had been drawn said, mildly:
"Your Honor, I can't serve" 'Why
notT' asked the court, in tones that had
been stereotyped, as he looked out of
the court room window. Approaching
quite close the juror whispered. "NIy wife
has just given birth to a boy. Judge"
"No excuse at all, =" observed the Judge.
ms he closed his docket with n bang,
''my wife had two last night. and Ihave
been here all day" The juror served.
Tile Aryonaut.
JADBERING.
During the long French wal two old
ladies in Scotland were going to the
kirk. The one said to the other, ''Was
it no. n wenderfu' thing that the Brett
ish were aye victorious over the French
in battlc!' 'tNot a bit" said the other
lady; 'dinna We ken the Brectish aye
say their prayers before gain into
battle" The other replied: ''But Gamma
the French say their prayers as weell2"
The reply was most characteristic
"Hoot! Sic jahberin' bodies; wha
could understan' thcm2"s
ONLY HIS PEACE OF MIND.
"Old man Pennybunkcr has married
again"
"You don't tell me So"
eyes, and he has married q right
young girl, forty years younger than he
u.s."
swell, I declare. His other wife only
died six months ago and he went on SO
at the grave that / expected that he
would lose his mind"
swell, you see your prediction has
come to pass."-Tsras Sittings.
INTELLECTUAL HAIR DRESSING.
hiss Angelina Ito Miss Belle, her
rival, just now surrounded by a bevy of
admirers)-Oh, dear, do tell me- how
you do your hair up so charmingly.
What do you do it up on? 1t looks SO
intellectual!
Miss Belle (who wears her hair high)
We'll I'll tell you, dear. I generally
do it up over brains, and (sweetfy) I
don't think you a buy them at the
hair stores.-Boston Journal.
THEY LIVE ON 1T.
"What relation, Bobby" said Mr..
Dobbins to his ~6rst-born, lam I to your
, mothers father2"
Bobbie--sHe's your fodder. .
Nonsense; how can he be that"
Fodder is what folks live on, amt
it2"-Bin1hamton Republican.