davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13
WARNING TO BACHELORS.

There is an article going the
rounds entitled, How the girls 90 to
Sleep" The manner in which they
60 to sleep, according TO the article,
can't hold candle to the way a mar
ried woman goes to sleep. Instead
of thinking what she should have at
tended to before going to bed, she
thinks of it afterward. While she is
revolving these matters in her mind,
and while snugly tucked up in bed,
the old man stretching his legs be-
fore the fire and wondering how he
will pay the next months rent. Sud-
denly she exclaims James, did you
lock the door?
Which door! says James.
The cellar door, says she.
No, says James.
Well, you had better go down and
lock it, for=I heard some one in the
Dack YARD last night.
Accordingly James paddles down
the stairs and locks the door. About
the time James returns and is going
to bed she remarks: Did you shut
the stair door?
No, said James.
Well, if 1t is not shut the cat will
get up into the chambers.
Let her come up, then, says James,
ill-naturedly.
My goodness, no returns his wife,
she'd suck the baby's breath.
Then James paddles down stairs
again and steps on tack, and closes
the door, and curses the cat, and re-
turns to the bedroom. Just as he
begins to climb into his couch his
wife observes, forgot to bring up
some water; suppose you bring up
some In the big tin.
And so James, with a muttered
curse, goes down into the dark kitch-
en- and falls over chair, and rasps
all the tinware on the wall i'm search
Of the big tin, and then jerks the
stair door open and howls:
Where the deuce are the matches
She gives him minute direction
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather 60 and get the
water herself than have the whole
neighborhood raised about it. After
which James finds the matches, pro
cures the water and comes up stairs
and plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says: James
let's have an understanding about
money matters. Now, next week
I've got to pay
l don't know what you'll have te
pay, and don't care, shouts James
as he lurches around and jams hi!
face against the wall; all | want /.
sleep.
That's all very we'll for you snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vi
ciously; you never think Of the
trouble and worry | have. AnC
there is Araminta, who, l believe, is
taking the measles.
Let her take 'em, said James
Herenpon she begins to cry softly
but about the time James fell into 6
gentle doze she punches him in the
ribs with her elbow and says: Die
you hear the scandal about Mrs
Jones?
Where? says James, sleepily.
Why, Mrs. Jones.
Where? inquiries James.
! declare, said his wife. you are
getting more stupid every day. Yor
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No
21? Well, day before yesterday Su
san Smith told Mrs. Thompson thai
Sam. Baker had said that Mrs. Jones
had
Here she paused and listened
James is snoring in profound slum'
ber. With a snort of rage she pulls
all the covers off him, wraps up in
them, and lays awake until 2, a. M.
thinking how badly used she is.
And this is the way the married
woman goes to sleep.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13

THAT HACKING COUGH can be so quickly
cured by Shiloh's Cure. We guarantee it. III. q.
Pierce.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13
BLACKSMITH at EA. ALBANY.

have secured the services of first class work
man, and am now prepared to do black smii hing
in workmanlike manner. Horse Shoeing a spe-
cialty. Satisfaction guaranteed.
e. G. MOXLEY.
East Albany, May II.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13

FOR DYSPEPSIA and Liver Complaint, you
havea printed guarantee on every bottle of Shoh's
VitalizeF. It never tails to cure. H. &. Pierce,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13

Mark Twain has made humor pay. So
have good many of the doctors.
If French people are anything like
French slippers, they must be well heeled.
If Il watch company should get into
financial difficulties could it do business
on tick?
There are 762 different kinds of flowers
in the arctic regions-principally frost
flowers
Onions induce sleep. That's the rea-
son they should be eaten just before you
go to bed.
1t is said that Miss Alcott has written
a sequel to Little Men" Is it entitled
"Henpecked?"
1t would be well for some politicians if
they always used type writer. 1t would
not give them away.
1t is IA curious physiological fact that
the shoulder blade Of the average man is
not as sharp as his elbow.
The most popular wind instrument is
the watch key-probably because it is
easy to keep time with it.
Mr.. Cleveland says he is determined to
give some color to his administration. 1t
has been rather blue so far
No matter what the water mill may do,
the hand-organ man will continue to
grind the music that is past.
The man who thinks he could make a
better world than the Almighty had bet
ter begin by trying to improve himself.
1t is said to be vulgar to eat corn from
the cob in public. This is good news to
fashionable people who have false teeth.
Swinburne says: "When young men
yell at mel SMILE" We suppose that
is when they yell: 'Swinburne, come and
take drink
Death loves shining mark, we are
told. This should induce men not to
carry too much brass in their faces this
warm weather.
A Burlington grocer was surprised, the
| other day, by an absent-minded patron,
| who asked him if he had any mother
Hubbard squashes.
swell, there is one bright spot in my
existence" remarked the confirmed ine-
briate. "What is is" asked his compan-
ion-ssY our nose?"
1t is pretty big story that is told
about California's next wine crop being
estimated at nearly 2O,OOO,OOO gallons.
We can scarcely swallow that.
"Do you know the nature of an oath,
ma'am?" inquired the Judge. "Well, 1
reckon that 1 orter," was the reply. "My
husband drives canal boat"
Mamma" said Bobby, 81 have eaten
my cake all up, and Charles hasn't touch
ed his yet. Won't you make him share
with me so as to teach him to be gener-
ous?''
A New Hampshire chap who wanted to
break off the engagement to another fell
low of the girl he loved, didn't try to per-
suade either that the other was false, but
just contrived to get them both to join
the same church choir, and in less than
week they didn't speak.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13

GROUP, WHOOPING COUGH and Bronchitis
Immediately relieved by Shoh's cure. II. @. Pierte
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13

The claims as to the curative powers of Hoods
Sarsaparilla based entirely ON what the people
say it has done for them. Send to G. /. Hood Co.
Lowell, Mass, for book containing statements OF
many remarkable cures by Hoods Sarsapariila.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13
M 0 N U M E rs
PROBATE OF WILL OF WILLIAM KIDDER.
STATE OF VERMONT, or,. ;, y, .+,, ;. :.

n UrIeaHs UIstrlct, ss
In Probate Court at Barton Landing, within and
for said District, on the 27'h day of August A. D.
1886.
An instrument purportng to be the last VIII and
Testament of William Kidder late of Irasburgh,
in said district deceased, being presented to Court
by b. +. kidder, the Executor therein named,
for Probate 1t is ordered by said Court, that all
persons concerned therein be notified to appear at
a session of said Court to be held at the Probate
Ofhce IN Barton Landing, the 18th day of Sept,
A D. 1886, and show cause if any they may have,
against the Probate of said WILL for which purpose
1t is further ordered, that copy of the record of
the Monitor, printed at Barton, previous to said
time appointed for hf airing.
By the Court. Attest,
1881 c. II. JONES, Register.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-09-13

A young man who has recently been on
short voyage, where he suffered greatly
from sea-sickness, says that all he had
for breakfast several mornings was a
chop sea.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1886-06-19

crcice setie"sement, il faut mar
cher enforcement vite' ii vault
mieux ne marcher qu'une heure,
mais faire ses ! kilometres, que de
marcher pendant deuX heure> pour
DarcOurir LII meme distance. Dams
lie premier cas-, on aura. je suppose,
d6pense s: dams lie second, seule-
ment ,. lie marcher raplde falt
maigrir; la locomotion lente ma au-
cunc action. II vaut mieuX IN
course dun quart d'heu:c 4 l. kilo-
metIes i rheure qu'une promena-
de de i kilometres a !'heure.
C'est preci>ement parce que les
muscles travaillent sans cesse aVec
vitesse que rescrime a II 81 gran
lie. action sur lie developrement de
Ia force ct sur lie depart de liz grals-
Sc. En- une demi heure d'escrime
on fait plus de travail QUEEN par
cOurant lentement II kilometres,
Puts chaque muscle ton%ctlonne au
maximum il appelle lie sang a lui.
Use nourrit ct s'accrolt.
LnScrlme est pour mons lie pre-
mier DIES exercices du corps. Aucun
lie retentit autant II tout lie Sys-
teine muSculaire il modilie proton.
dement, les tonctionS de lOrganiS.
me il eXerce une influence bien re
marquable sur les fonctionS de ia
peau. ct tout Sllet don't la peau
fonctionne NAL est un sujet accessl
BILE a un grand nombre de maladies
II a de Faction egalement sur lie,
fonctionS reSpiratOlreS. Les arme:
rendent la force aux debilites e
aux an6miques elles accroissen
les oxydatiOns ct les desaSsimila
tons Giles donnent TN regain de
jeunesSe aux hommeS dun age mll
C'eSt l']aSSurance cOntre la maladi,
ct une prime de Tongue vie.
Done, va pour Iescrime! &c mes
pas nous 0ni Ia p~roscrirons jamais
Henri de Parvilie
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1886-06-19
De Ia decouyerte de la yigne.

lie premier plan de vigne qnon
ait va dams les GaEles fut apporte
dAsie-Mjneure CONNIE lie murier1
a MarSeille, ASS ans avant lere dite
chretienne. mails ellie ne fut repair
due ct cultiv6e dams o provinces
~qu'aprtS Ia conqutte de Jules Cesar
Nos aieuX les GauloiS buvalent
ayec deliceS cetle mervcilleuSe Ii
sane yirile qui fat. diton, pousser
les mouStaches, ct III reGrettant
| ou'une chose: que les ltalIens ell
e,ssent bu avant euX. En- eifet. lie
vim. d'aprts Pine, abondait Il
cette terre benie du SOleil en- 81
grande quantite que nos peres fran
chissaient les Alpes pour sen rega-
Ter. ct qu'ils renoncerent a leur pa
trie pour dresser leurs tentes sur
les rives ftcOndes du Pc.
L'ignoble Domitien qui. CONNIE
on salt, r1gnait 81 Il avant Tere
chrGtienne. dams TN acces de tyran-
ME. tenta d'anGantir dams les eau
les cette culture d%elicieuse pour ar
refer. dlsait-il. le torrent de bar
bares que la douceur du climat ct
lie nectar rouge y attiraient CONT
nuellement.
Mails TN antre empereur, digne
celui-la de son nom. PrObuS. III re
tahiti. r~cncouragea meme: Que
Bacchus ct Silene tressent DIES cou
ronncS de pampre vert a So mcmoi
re.
, Depuis, la vignc ma fat gu,
croitre ct verSer Il %profuSiOn dan.
nos ewes le sang aim6 de ses cep.
; gonties.
, On salt que lie mot yigne deriv'
du cel1e g,Yid l'arbre), CONNIE etan
t lie plus excellent de tous; d'autre
/ lie font venir de riere (tordre, lier,
: Quot quill en- soft, le vim est un
: liqueur franchise a &c tire nou
raimons ct nous lie cherissons com
!. me un souvenir ioyeuS de la mere
patrie.
Nous laisSons a dessein la fabl
S Qui Noudrait fare remonter Il No
i importation du cep sur Ia terr'
e L'arche pour contenir I'm 6ciianti
e lon de tout lie regne vegetal ct u
couple de tout lie regnc animal /
nous paralt pas asSez waste pou
<. notre fable entendement.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1886-06-19

Dams lie proiet de l'Exposition
luiverselle vote par la Chambre,
Lockroy Went de decider la con
struction dune tour cOlo>Sale dc
800 metres, 4ui SER certalnement
la grande curiosit6 ct Ia principale
attraction de cctte Exposition de
1889.
Cette tour gigantesque tout Ell
there constitute en- fer. partira du
sol par quatre pliers qli front en-
sc rapprochant suiyant une courbe
~calculee de maniere Il tOurnir lie
maximum de resistance an vent. Les
quatre arttes de cette pyramide
front ainSi en- Sc rapprochant jus
Qu'au SONNET on SerOnt inStallcS
IN phare ct une coupole yitrte ayec
balloon pour les visiteurS.
Car Il y aura DIES vlsitearS : I'm
ascenseur les transporter juslua
ccttt plateformr >uperlcnIe dou
Ton decouvrirl toni supplement I'm
panorama de 1870 Kilometres dcten-
due. QUAINT au phare, on pourra,
par une belle mutt, l'%apercevoir de
Dion on uu Mans!
En- outre, sur une plate-forme
piacfe Il 20 metres de hauteur.
! c'eSt-a-dirn Id metres au-desSuS DIES
tours de Notle-Dame. on doit in
staller IN restaurant. Enfonces les
repas legendaires dams larbre de
Robinson!
Mais cette tour metallique ne
servira pas settlement lux curieuX
ellie rendra sultout d la science de
reels services.
On pourra entreprendre au som
met DIES observations de meteorOlo'
pie ct d'astronlmle dams DIES condl
tons abSOlument nouvelleS, ct exc
cutter DIES experiences lie physique,
rotamment sur lie movement de
rotation de la terre, EN- renouve
liant. sur dies dimensions giganteS
ques. cellcS qui avaient etc tentces
iadis au Pantheon.
lie poids de cette tOar he depas
serait pas 6 millions de kilogram
mes. La dtpense de construction
est evaluee Il ; millions.
". Eit1el. lie Savant ingGnieul
dies Arts ct Manufactures qui IL III
vente cette uuvrc ~coloSSale, a de
manlt. pour couvrir Ia d9pense, Il
drOit de percevoir les entrees dan
Ia tour pendant les dix premiere
annees. Get editice doit roster
bien eutendn, aprcS la celebration
du c~entenairt de 80.
Cette nyramiae gisantesque
deux fois plus elevte que celle
d'Egypte, dacorera l'entrte princi
pale de la grande facade du Cham,
de Mars. On trouvera d'ailleurs
!. dams Ia Sale des depeches du Figo
10, lie plan tres complet du prOje
ministerial ct de cette tour cOlO>
sale qui sera lie grand success d
rEXposition.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1886-06-19
Les exercises du corps-rEscrime

Les exercises du corps-rEscrime.
-Enga.ez. rendezvous En-
garde
-DGga@ez! Douhlez! Une, deuX.
trompez! En- garde. Couvrez-vous,
vOus n'ttes pas convert. TT la
preuve US recevez a limproviste
un joli comp de bouton. Con.ez.
coupez! En- garde! Nos feinteS
sont trop larges.. Parez quartz,
prenpZ lie c~Ontre...
II ny a pas besoln de dire que
nous sOmmeS dams II sale d'ar-
mes. On fat de reScrime TN peu
partout aujourd'hui, ct il faut Sen
feliciter.
Je ne %connais aucun eXerclce
comparable a celui de Ieserime. La
gymnastique. c'est bien: mails les
crime. c'eSt bien mieuX. C'eSt inim-
aginable d'intluence au point lie
vue du muscle ct de la d~iSpcrition
de Ii eraisse. Tout l'ttre est Ell ieu:
lie cerveau qui dot coordonner les
movements ct les Quatre memhreS
Gul doivent ohGir.-et vivement.
Jambes. bras. Torso. ricdS. dcigtS.
tout travaille, ct Guel travail Au
boat de cinq minutes. il taut tIans-
pirer bon gre NAL gre apes un
quart d'heure, LII chemiSe est trem-
pee. .Aucun eNerclce he determine
la sudation avec cette rapidite. TT
la sudation peut servir Il eSprimer
renergie du travail etfectue.
LIE travail augmente considera-
Element avcc la vitesse. Or les ex-
erciceS de reScrime n4ceSSitent non
settlement lie displacement dun GER
tain effort muSculaire, mails sur
tout INT extreme dextGrite, beau
coup de vitesSe. -Aussi, lGpee Il la
main, on fait plus de travail MEGA
niqne Ell un quert d'heure qu'el
parconrant une lieue an pas acchle
lere. On depense enormement ct Ii
combustible human, la graisse SCI
va forc6ment. Eft c'est grand TAM
mieux!
Cest evidemment IN DIES plu.
p%uissants modes d'entrainemen
qu'On puisse imagin"r.
Eint1uence de la v~itesse dams |,
travail de Thomme est caractGristi
queet toute speciale. II DIES gen
tournant a lobesite qui font pou
maigrir leurs deux on trois lieue
par jours. lis Sen Won't paisible
ment les mains dams leurs pOches
lis fevlennent fatigues, mails II
malgrissent pas. lis Won't beaucou1
trop lentement.
On depense peu en- st promenan
an pas ordinaire. lie travail quo
effectue croft CONNIE lie pOids Il ira
bel ct le car5e de Ia r~itesse. C'est- ;
dire que 81 l'on double Ia vitesse o
quadrnple lie travail ct par cons'
quent la depense.
Nous faites unc lieue en- une heI
re. Nous consommez tant. Vol
faites Ia meme iieue en- une dem
heure, vous ne consommez pas
double point. vouS d6pensez
Q%uadruple. Influence de la yite
Sc apparait lei tres nettement.
Quand on veut prendre de lie
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1886-06-19
ATELIEK TYPOGRAPHIQUE.
IteTARY JoR Press.

Ayant tout le materiel ntressairp. nous som
mes a meme d'eNtrutcr tour les ouvraerS ~
pographiqnes qni nous seroht comes Les
hrets d'avorat. carries d'atiailes. pnteteS tie
features. tickets d'hahitation, hlancs, circn-
Iaires, etc. seront imprimrs dams lie plus BRET
delai ct Il DIES priX lnodereS.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1886-01-27
4 Handy Wagon.

The box or lumber box wagon, rs COM
monty seen in the East, has body with the
bottom tightly nailed or screwed 10 the side
boards and cross-pieces, and which is fix
ture. In many localities westward, instead
of having a tightly nailed box, better style
for many purposes is employed. Ordinary
side-bOards are laid in place against the up
rights from each axle and are held there by
stout hoops, one being attached TO the upper
edge OF the Side-bOaTd SO that it can slip
three or four inches down from the tip OF
the upright. Then running lengthwise OF
the wagon, resting on the axleS between the
sideboards. are placed enough pieces Of
scaDtling Gx3 TO fill the intervening space.
The ends of these stringers are slightly
drawn down. so as TO enable person 10
catch hold of any individual one. Each
scantlng has screwed onto the lower side,
inside the axle at each end, piece OF wood
a. blocking to prevent the stringers slip
ping out of place. Dirt and rubbish of any
kind can be piled in such wagon in ordi-
nary Timber wagon, but can be unloaded far
more rapidly, by first removing one side
board and then raising up and removing the
scantling, thus letting the load fall to the
ground
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1886-01-27
FARM NOTES.

Onion seed may be sown very early in the
spring, as soon as the ground can be placed
in condition to receive it. In this prepare
ton of the ground it pays to take great
pains. After blowing, il should be narrowed
again. until it is thoroughly pulverized, then
raked clean of sticks. stones and humps of
earth. As thus prepared, the drill-if a
good One-will SOW the seed evenly, the rows
can be made straight, the greater ease of after
culture will repay the pains taken.
Rough lands can best be utilized by pas
turing. The natural toughness of the land
bushes and other undesirable plants kept
down by constant treading and feeding And
stock can pick about among stumps and
stones where the pillow could not be run.
While the stock Is good thing for the
rough pasture, the rough pasture is not al
ways the best thing for the stock.
1t is not so much what bushel of corn
may be worth on the farm as what it may
contribute that is important. When con-
verted into beef. butter, lard or pork il is
not more easily transported, but also more
readily Salable. In the conversion of corn
into concentrated or higher-products, manu-
rial matter is left ON the farm, instead of be-
ing carried away, as il would be the case IL
the corn were sold in its grain form.
The creamery or the factory does the work
of hundred pair of hands. and turns out
Dor of one-tenth as many. That is, the
manufacture of dairy goods under this sys-
TEN is reduced 30 per cent. Along with this
economy of labor there is saving OF time to
an equal extent for ninety pair of hands are
set free for other useful employment, or if
the hands are idle there are ninety heads at
liberty to think and originate valuable new
ideas.
The first cold snap is when COWS show the
greatest tendency to fall off in their flow
and il they can be tided over this period
without failing materially, it will be found
comparatively easy TO maintain a full flow
of milk when more severe weather comes.
Great pains should be taken now to keep up
the yield of milk, as now is Just the time
when milk and all dairy products are becom-
ing more valuable, and the money is to he
made out of the dairy business if ever.
The Ohio Farmer says that SIX or eight
weeks for sheep and ten or twelve for cattle
Is enough time 10 crowd their condition for
the butcher. This statement should DC given
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1886-01-27
a Mystery.

How the human system ever RECEIVERS from the
bad effects of the nauseous medicines often liter
ally poured into il for the suppositive relief Of
dyspepsia liver complaint, constipation, rheuma-
tism and other ailments. is mystery. The mis-
chief done by bad medicine is scarcely less than
that caused by disease. II they who are weak,
bilious, dispeptic, conshpated or rheumatic, would
oftener be guided by the experience OF invalids
who have thoroughly tested Hostetter's stomach
Bitters, they would in every instance obtain the
speediest aid derivable from rational medication.
This medicine is a searching and at the same time
q thoroughly safe remedy, derived from vegetable
sources, and possessing in consequence ,of its
basis OF pure spirits, properties medicinal
Stimulant not TO be found in the fiery local btters
and stimulants often resorted TO by the deblliat-
cd, dyspeptic and lenguid.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1886-01-27
GREELEY AND BROWN.
The Only Meeting Between the Two Men
Who Constituted the Liberal Ticket in
IS12-Their Conversation Brusque
and Tinctured With Asperity,
But They Parted With
Mutual Esteem.

twill perhaps surprise many to learn
that Horace Greeley and Il. Graft Brown
met but once. They did not know each
other when they were nominated and their
only chat or conference was at the house
of DIR. Steele in Bond street,
where Mr.. Brown was guest
after his return from New Haven,
where he had gone, l believe, to attend the
Yale commencement exercises Major
James Haggerty, who has since made such
successful candidacy as an independent Tam
many candidate for reelection in the Assem-
bly, in which he was member for the past
three wears, was then a staunch Republican.
He held position in the Custom-house, Sc
cured through the influence of Mr. Greeley,
of whom he was great admirer, and whose
personal friendship he enjoyed. He deter
mined to follow him in his change of poll
tics, and resign his position in order to take
the stump in advocacy of the Liberal ticket.
Major Haggerty was present at the interview
between the two men, and talked to me the
other day about the incidents OF their meet
ing He said:
1t was on Sunday afternoon, shortly
alter the nominations were made, that Mr..
Geeeley sent for me to meet him at his hotel.
He greeted me on my arrival with the re-
mark: "Mr. Brown is in town. and it is
time that called upon him. We went to
the house Of Dr.. Steele. on Bon1 street,