davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

II the flremen get an increase OF pay,
they should chip in and buy gong to take
the place of the dlnner-bcl on the hook
and-ladder wagon.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

y beggarly array of empty benches
watched Congressman Geddcs of Ohio ride
around the House yesterday on a wagon
with a gold dollar for the front wheel and
silver one for the hind wheel.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

EOR SALE - Several New Brick
II dwellings,; rooms, bathroom and all
easy terms. Tyler s. Rutherford, iaaa +
stnW.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

Good DR.. Edmunds seems to think
That Growers sick. So he
Looks wise aud grave and then prescrlbes
A dose of Senate tea.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20
BUSINESS CHANGES.

WANTED--TO Purchase on Monthly
w payments, house and lot, q to rooms;
brick; modern improvements; facing south or
east: near street cars; northwest corner pre-
ferred. G, box 5, City Postoffce,
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

When Congressman desires to with
draw far from the madding crowds ignoble
strife and enjoy the peaceful quiet of some
dim cathedral shade, he glides out of the
House and goes over to occupy sofa in
the Senate Chamber
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20
pE RCnNEI.

A LADY Would Like the Address of
n several gentlemen who are thoroughly
disgusted with boarding'house fare; would
hear of something to their advantage by ad-
dressing Home Critic Office
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20
Beneath the hen the nest-egg lies
When in the proper condition.
And thus we have, no one denies,
\ permanent eggs position.

Senator Maxey of Texas is in favor of
making the Indian work for his living The
Senator will have nobody to blame but him
self If he comes back to Washington some
time with about half head of hair, and
that looking like bunch, of bristles with
the jim jams.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

1t lis doubtful II Congress is eligible for
membership in any labor organization Of
the country.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

" ANTED--A Woman TO Help DO
w the work in family of 3; one who Is
willing to work for a home. Address Home,
this office.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

"Ruhamah" of the same paper, who
attended recent reception at Secretary
Whitney's, and relates very pleasantly
what she saw and heard, thus refers to
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20
FOR SALE-H0USES.

EOR SALE-A Nicely Furnished To-
II room brick house; a small cash payment
amounts not greater than a fair rent, without
interest. Apply to James q. Sprigg, 14sl Y
avenue. .l.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

7 OST-A Pocket-Book Containing
j about sac in money and some Car tickets
the owner Is q lady much In need. A suitable
reward win be paid by returning 1t to i93 Md
ave W
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

I OST-On Connecticut Ave. Near
- Dupont Circle, O black Newfoundland
liberal reward will be paid on return to 1923
Rhode Island ayenw W.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

T RICE, NO. 400 MAINE AVENUE; CAR.
IL. pets to clean, mattresses romade;
feathers renovated. Telephone CALL
345.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

." "ANTED--ALL TO KNOW THAT DIR.
w Taylor, o4 street, near Tenth, makes
beautiful sets of artificial teeth for S5. guar
anteed to give full satisfaction; extracting
cents; without, 20 cents; filling at very low
pripps
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

NEW Reception Room, I'd Floor, In-
~ stantaneous photograph gallery. III
Market SpaCe. Call.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

Confucius never said word at meals,
but then, Confucius never had bad coffee,
and soggy bread, and besides there's no
word in the Chinese language which begins
with q d.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

wv NANTED - An Honorable Person
w with 5000 to $780, to take an interest in
n good paying restaurant and enlarge the
business. Address Restaurant, Critic Office
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

OK CENT French satteens, Yard
~ wide, 10 cents. j. T.. YOUNG, 53j 9Th
50. All woolens below cost TO make room for
spring goods.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

A man who parts his hairin the middle can
never be elected President OF the United
States. Various gentlemen now looking
with longing eyes White Houseward will
instruct their BARRIERS accordingly.
The Washington critic., 1886-02-20

" ANTED A Smart American
w woman TO make herself generally use
full with dressmakcr. Mrs. Robinson, Critic
nftipe
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
ABOUT SUICIDES.
Interesting Statistics Concerning Their
Frequency in Engl$nd and Wales.

Interesting Statistics Concerning Their
Frequency in England and Wales.
In the paper on Suicides in England
and Wales in Relation to Age, Sex,
Season and Occupation, by DR.. William
Ogle, NJ A., read before the Statistical
Society, the dry bones of statistics are
worked up in a very interesting way.
1t is shown by the author that the
deaths registered in the twentv-six
years, 1858, in England and Wales
as due to suicide were 1850. and in
the proportion of seventy-two an
nsally per million persons living. The
suicide rate increases rapidly with age
until after middle life. but in the most
advanced age periods again diminishes.
The maximum rate is in the 55 to 65
years period, when it reaches 251 per
1,OOo,0 900 persons living. At all age
periods, with one exception, the male
rate is far higher than the female, and
the difference between them increases
with age. The one exceptional period
is the Is to 20 years period, when the
female rate is slightly the higher.
1dhIlS dii ayes oosSs1thOA, Ouo u Odooi
numbers living and in the same age
distribution, the male suicides are to
the female suicides as 267 to 100. 1t is
also shown that the number of suicides
vary very definitely with the seasons,
forming a regular annual curve, of
which the minimum is in December
| and the maximum in June. The occu-
pations in which the suicide rates are
lowest are those which imply rough
manual labor, carried on mostly out
of doors, and by men who are COM
paratively uneduchted. The occupa-
tions with the highest suicide rates are
those which are sedentary, and followed
by highly educated men, as the learned
professions. The commonest method
of suicide is hanging; then follow in
order drowning, cut or stab, poison,
gunshot. Women, however, select
drowning before hanging. and poison
before cut or stab. The choice OF
method is also affected by age, the
young showing a comparative prefer.
ence for drowning, poison and gunshot
and by occupation, men using prefer
entially the instruments of their drafts
and by season, drowning being avoided
in the cold months. Iron.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
$500 per Annun.


President Holden, of the CaliforniA
State University, receives a salary of
$S,000-$5, 900 as president and $1,000
as director of the Lick Observatory. ~
There was irony as well as wit in
what Sidney Smith said. On taking the
parish at Foster he writes; when
began to thump the cushion of my pull
pit, as is my wont when [ preach, the q
accumulated dust of 150@years made
such cloud that for some minutes II
lost sight of my congregation.-N 7.
Examiner. s4t #stAklsa a'fs
A Presbyterian missionary on the
west coast of Africa, woman, is the
only white Christian for some hum
dreds of miles, and has no means OF
travel but by skiff up and down the
river. She has the training of young
men and women, not only in their
education and Christian life. but in
their every day pursuits; and she is de-
clared to be most happy in her work.
Montreal Witness. gs1 Ysg9a ss8as
Just before the outbreak OF the war
Stonewall jackson. then a professor in
the Virginia Military Institute at Lex
| ington, organized Sunday-school for
| coIored children, which is still sustained
| by leading citizens there. This Sunday
| school has now set on foot subscrip-
ton for monument.to jackson, which
is meeting with lively response among
the people, black and white, OF the
South. Chicago Herald. iau4 8sasss
I'm Germany, SO per cent. know
more languages than one; in Austria.
81 per cent. in England, 81 per cent;
in France. 29 per cent; in Italy, 2S per
cent; in Russia, 23 per cent. in Spain,
IS per cent A classical education had
been enjoyed in Germany by 50 per
| cent; in England, 81 per cent; in
France, 20 per cent. !, in Italy, 16 per
/ cent; in Austria, Is per cent. in Spain,
Z per cent; in Russia, per cent
Philadelphia Press. oA8j xi asss4gs
"A letter in the London Times,
written from Tientsin, speaks OF mis-
sionaries as ..the true pioneers OF civil
ization," and adds that ..'the day has
! gone by when English missionaries are
snubbed by their own authorities.
He states that "a new wave of mission
ary interest is passing over China"
and he seems to appreciate the young
men of the English universities who
have recently gone out under the China
Inland Mission. as sr H..
4 -Co-education, according TO the
4 Sanitarian. is conspieuously successful
in Hampton Institute, where General
Armstrong has COS colored and Indian
students, nearly half of them girls,
The training is largely Industrial,
especially for the 139 Indian students.
but very large proportion of the gradu-
ates become teachers among their own
people. The fact that 200 applicants
were turned away during the last
school year because there was no room
for them is q forcible appeal for money
to erect more buildings.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
POPE Plus TX.
An Introduction to One of the Most Fa-
nous Rulers of the Church.

An Introduction to One of the Most Fa-
nous Rulers of the Church.
chamberlain opens the door for you,
loudly calling your name and titles, a
caneriere follows behind you with a
large tray, on which are laid the objects,
ivory. gold silk, silver, anything that
you have brought with view of the
Pope blessing it, that you may bring it
to your Catholic friends, who look at it
from that momenta as relic. You hold
in your hand whatever offering you
have yourself to lay at the feet of the
Holy Father. Mind you, you are on
the threshold; now comes the ceremon-
ial. On the doorstep you have to kneel
down, you then get up and make three
steps and kneel down again, another
three steps and you kneel at the feet of
the padre santo and get hold of the hem
of his robe, which either he lets you kiss
in all humility or he takes you by the
hand, lifts you up, and, after blessing
you, stretches out his hand toward the
tray which the camertere holds and pro-
nounces the blessing: I'm nomine Pat
ris, etFilli, ct Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
Whereupon the canaeriere with the tray
disappears, the door shuts, and you are
left alone. The room is a very small
one. nothing like the big hall where the
general reception Of over two thousand
people takes place; it contains simple
table and chair. A white cotton dress
and red cap are all the uniform of the
| = T. Il
asked me; .Do you prefer to speal
| Italian or French ?"-the two Ian
guages which were easy to him. After
your reply the conversation begins. :
Temple Bar.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Never refuse advice. OF course
you have no use for it. +. Nobody ever
has. But it is very handy to have, to
give to somebody else -Burdette
The class in natural history being
asked the difference between a dog and
tree, the head boy answered: "a
tree is covered with bark while a dog
seems to be lined with it.'-N r
Ledger.
Among the wants in the New York
Nesus is one for hands to cut boys
clothes. If the advertiser would only
give the boys pocket knife each, they
would furnish the hands. II Chicago
Ledger.
A good imitation of celluloid Is
now being made from Irish potatoes.
Nothing but the apparent indifference
of science stands in the way of some-
thing indestructible being evolved from
The modern beefsteak. Norristos0's
Herald.
An exchange advertises: "Wanted
q boy for bottling.' This must be q
new industry, and it's wonder 1t
wasn't thought of before. Agood many
BOYS oughtto be bottled; 1t may be the
only way to keep them from spelling.
Detroit Free Press. '
-.Going widing to-day, Awthawp'
| "Naw. Got ito work." .'Se sowy.
| deah bow. What is the -blawsted
lob, ehph ..Maw's witten me q lettaw
and I've aw-got to wead 1t befaw
can make anothaw dwaft on haw. Did
YOU evaw heah of such boah?' "Nev-
sw. deah boy, nevaw. - Toscs Topics.
-"Can You tell me what kind q
weather we may expect next month";
wrote a farmer to the editor of his
county paper. The editor replied: I'll
/ is INV belief that the weather next
month will be very like your subscrip-
tion bill.', The farmer wondered for
an hour what the editor was driving at,
when he happened to think OF the
word unsettled = He sent Q postal
note Troy Times.
Chances materially lessened.-
.Mrs. Dusenberry!'' "Well, my dearg''
..Where's the bureaua'' II had il
taken to the fourth floor" .'Why did
you do that, my love? I've dropped
nv collar button" WELL why don
| YOU hunt for it?'' Hunt for it! That
1 encouraging, isn't it, when you've re
5 moved the only place where there'd b
any possibility of my finding it."-Phst
adelphiG Cali. -
A practical application of Scrip
| ture.-Winnie' s mother had been comb
|. inc the little girls long and handsom
but wind-tangled, romp-snarled hail
/ When the operation was finished-an
II was not unaccompanicd with sewers
II severe pulls Winnie asked; Did 70
, get out many hairs mammal? "Ye'
j | dear was the answer, quite q goo
: MANY" Then He'll have to numbe
t them all over again, won't Her
Harper's Bazdr.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
HE WAS DISCOURAGED.

How a Patriot Suffered for the Sake OF
Freedoms Noble Bird.
A young man with his coat ripped
down the back and his hair dreadfully
mussed up called to see the Captain at
police headquarters yesterday and
lodged complaint.
81 was coming in on the Gratiot road
this morning." said he, wearing a
brass eagle on my vest as a badge. Of
course you are aware that it was an
American eagle?'
"Yes.n
..And you fully realize that the
American eagle represents liberty"
II do"
"When the American eagle is around
all tyrants and oppressors have to take
back seat As was walking along
met two young men, and one Of 'em
steps up and says;
"Is that ere wild goose or a
menagerie snipep'
"'That's the proud bird of liberty,
says !.
az kin chuck that ere proud bird in
the mudl' says the other.
"sNot while live!' says l, and the
| fight begun. was flung down, stepped
upon, rolled over, and the emblem 0.
liberty was torn off and spit on ant
trampled into the mud.''
well ?''
swell, something ought to be done
l don't care for myself, but when an,
body insults our emblem he must b,
| taught lesson
.1'm afraid there is no law to covel
| the case.
mo law to protect the Americal
eagle?"
/ "Never heard of one.'
"Humph! Isn't this land of lib
erty? Didn't the blood of our fore
fathers dye hundred battlefields tina
we might be free? And now you tel
me that it is all an illusionp'
/ mostly that way, guess.
| Every well. I'm done! I'm don
with brass eagles, live eagles and a
other sorts. I'm done with the life {
General Putnam-the adventures {
Marion and the exploits of Washing
ton. American liberty can go to Ha
flax! Good day. Detroit Free Pres
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
The Soul Of Honor.


An American went to one of his
friends who was in a sick hospital.
'.Well, and how are you getting along?"
he asked.
BADLY, old man, very badly. The
doctor has just told me that if turned
over on my left side it would kill me
Immediately. y
.sYou surprise me.
..It's just as have told YOU"
s.It's all nonsense.
"You don't believe it; well, / will bet
you ten dollars it is So"
"I'll take it.
..Well, then, look here, ? and the sick
man turned over and died. His friend
deposited ten-dollar bill on the side
of the bed and left.-Paris Gaulois.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
ABOUT MARRIAGE.
Advice to Those About to Slip On the
Matrimonial Moose.

Matrimonial Moose.
Some marry for the fun OF the thing
and never see where it comes in. This
is discouraging.
Some marry for the sake of good
companion and never discover their
mistake. This is lucky.
Man is tickle .'critter." Even
Adam, who had his wife made to order,
found more or less fault with her.
Don't marry man for his reputa-
ton. 1t is liable to be only a second
hand affair, borrowed from his ances-
tors.
Many women have married men for
their fine exterior. But that's all there
is to an ancient egg worth mentioning.
Many marry to spite some one else
only to learn that they got the butt-end
of the transaction, and its worst end at
that.
Marriage is a lottery full of chances.
That's what gives it flavor. All like to
chance it. because everybody thinks to
win prize.
Wedlock, in its original state, was as
pure as sweet milk fresh from the COW,
but man couldn't rest until he stripped
it of much of its rich cream.
/ say when you are ready to get mar
ried, get married. However, it isn't SO
much trouble to get married as to know
when you want to get married.
The hot-headed youth marries in
hurry because he fears manageable
| females will be scarce next year, and
lives to wonder how the supply holds
| out.
Marriage resulting from love at first
sight is not generally welded bliss on
a par with sour milk. One or the other
| gets swindled, and often both.
| Many man has married for beauty,
only to learn that he paid $40 for what
can be purchased for twenty-five cents
at all druggists. This is hard.
| The most affectionate people before
marriage seldom hold out in the same
proportion after the knot is tied. 1t is
better philosophy to commence only as
you would live afterward.
From the matrimonial market the
saints of both sexes were culled out
long ago. Don't expect to marry one.
You must guess at some things and
take chances for the future on this
| basis.
| Woman is sometimes the real cause
of unhappincss in the married relations
of life, but in the majority of instances
the boot is on the other foot and she i:
really the true comfort there is in it. Z
Don't marry woman for her taper
fingers and lily hands alone, for mar
ried life and its rugged experience!
call for wife that knows how to max,
a pot boil and can spank babies sys
tematically.
But few people marry for pure love
and they in after years suspicion tina
what were at the time promptings 9
the tender passion were, in all proba
bility but the first symptoms of choler'
morbus.
The man who marries a woman sim
ply because she is a handy arrange
ment to have about the house does s
from purely business standpoint
and in the end. if not compelled t
I, support him, she has has done bette
than many women know of.
MANY man who has married TO
money has never realized a dividen
upon the investment; and many wome
who have done the same thing hay
left word for their posterity that, a
though fair transaction upon th
face of it, yet it is just as liable to be
put-up job.-Toledo Blade.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
BELLEVUE, La, THURSDAY, MAY 90 1885,

ions and general conduct in private life.
Through this source very valuable tes-
timony is often procured and circum-
stantial evidence furnished, showing
the suspected party is aissolute fellow,
spending much more than his salary
would justify at the gamblers den or
in dissipation. Yes, the spotter system
is big thing, and you can't afford to
dispense with it as long as sordid greed
for money remains the pivot of human
nature. IN Y. Herald.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20

1t has recently been discovered
that Lake Dias, near DeLeon Springs,
Volusia County, Fla, is fed by an
enormous spring. which boils up about
two hundred yards off the south shore
of the lake. When the surface is per-
fectly still the boiling can be seen over
an area of about five acres. 1t is pro-
posed to anchor buoy over the center
of the spring, since the best of cool
water can be obtained there at any
time.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
THE TRUTH ABOUT 1T.

.ssprinc." sang the poet, budding spring.
Ilasi the boughs were bare;
Ne was himself the one green thing,
For ice lay everywhere.
.Hail. Spring, with breezes soft and sweet >
T'be Spring returned his hail;
Thzre came shower of snow and sleet
iypou wintry gale.
.sing. merry birds, in bush and tree"
Hs read the almanac;
yg,e birds were wiser far than he,
And did not hurry back.
ssprng gentle'-here he ceased to sing.
let the sad truth be told:
The while he sang of balmy spring,
he caught an awful cold.
Mrs. M. r. Handy, In Century Magazine.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20
REMARKABLE RUINS.
Discovery of Prehistoric Ruins In the State
g. of Sonora. Mexico.

Discovery of Prehistoric Ruins In the State
of Sonora. Mexico. s.t a 81
The chihuahua (Mexieo) Enterprise
reports the discovery of some remark
able ancient ruins on hill or mountain
four leagues south of Magdalena, in
Sonora. The Hill is about 700 feet high.
and half way up there is layer OF
gypsum, whichis Is as white as snow. and
may be cut into any conceivable shape,
yet sufficiently hard to retain its shape
after being cut. In this layer of stone
are cut hundreds upon hundreds OF
rooms from 6xl0 to 16x18 feet square.
So even and true are the walls, floor
| and ceiling, SO plumb and level as to
| DEFY variation. There are no windows
| in the rooms and but one entrance,
which is always from the top. The
rooms are but eightfeet high from moor
to ceiling, the stone is SO white that 1t
seems almost transparent, and the rooms
/ are not at all dark. On the walls Of
these rooms are numerous hieroglyph-
les and representations OF human beings
cut in stone In different places; but,
strange to say, all the hands have flve
fingers and thumb, and the feet have
six toes. Charcoal is found on the
floor of many of the rooms; implement,
of every. description are to be found
The houses or rooms are one above th'
other to three or four stories. high, bu
between each story there is a jog o
recess the full width of the room below
so that they present the appearance Q
large steps leading up the mountain.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-05-20

Stopped in time. Mistress why,
Della, what in the world have you
done? Delia-Shure, ma'am, the mas
ter said the gas was leaking. and l put
up the pail to catch it'd BIS.
The Washington critic., 1886-01-22
rRIfE TARIFF REFORM.

The proper way to revise the tariff,
whenever Congress gets ready to make
an honest and earnest endeavor in that
direction, is not on the horizontal
plan, nor yet perpendicular, but at an
angle of about fortyhvc degrees, re-
tanning the higher duties on the luNu-
ries of life, adjusting rates on manu-
facturcd products to the lowest scale of
compatibility with the interests Of the
labor employed ra2ceing them on all
articles necessary to human consump-
tion, in the order of their importance.
with due regard to the amount of rev
cnue to be raised; taking of the duties
altogether on whatever staples can be
prudently relieved, and enlarging the
free list TO the end of cheaper subsist-
ence for the people, wherever taxation
is levied for taxation only and not for
revenue.
To revise the tariff in this way will
require a reconciliation of conflicting
and jealous interests, attaina9le only
through II broad, patriotic spirit of
concession; an intimate and statesman.
like knowledge of the wants of the
Government and the economical prin.
pies best suited to its prosperous ad-
ministration, and above all else dis
position on the part of Congress to
take the question entirely out of party
politics, where it always figures as an
ill-defned, irregular and distracting
issue, and settle it in the same business.
like manner that it would other busi.
ness-likc legislation, designed to benefit
no one class or section at the expense
of another but to equalize the burdens
of the Government upon the whole
people at the lowest estimate consistent
with the public welfare.
That's the whole thing in two para
graphs.