The Washington critic., 1886-07-15
MARY JAMES EXCURSION.
Incidents of Her Recent Trip 90 Piney
rUint and Elsewhere.
HEN RoosT. July, 1886.

"Dickey," said the other Saturday
in my usual bland and alTec,ionatc
manner to the young woman who has
been my gddO mocum, or whatever you
call it, Wash. Williams has invited
us TO go down to Pinoy Point and spend
Sunday at the hotel which Afternoon
Pettitt, one of the best of landlords, is
bossing down there"
%Where is it9" said she.
"About ninety miles down the
river" said I, "on the Maryland
shore"
Mice placer" said she.
cor COURSE" said, /, cor / wouldn't
60"
whats there2" said she.
Boating, fishing, bathing and firt
ing" said l.
"These four" said she, "but the
greatest of these Is flirting. I'll 60"
and that same evening we threw few
useful, but not especially ornamental
articles dc toilette, robes dc RuH, ETC.,
into vest pocket Saratoga and boarded
q street.ca for the wharf As we were
| getting on the car, three other women,
| fearful that they wouldn't get seat,
tumbled In over gentleman or two.
| showed another one side and piled
down into the first empty place con.
venient. Then the gentlemen walked
in politely and sat down.
"Dickey," said |, did II ever occur
TO you that women are thoroughly
lacking in good manners2"
"Well, no, Mary Jane" said she, 81
| can't say that 1t has; but being so
much older than am, possibly it has
to ySn."
/, with some asperity, "but the other
matter has occurred to me. Woman's
manners in the parlor are quite comne
ii taut, but when you turn them loose
in crowd to shift for themselves, l
think they have a capacity for impo.
likeness that is simply phenomenal. A
man has no more show In q crowd of
women than missionary has at a can
nibal barbecue. They will walk over
him, tread on him, turn up their noses
at him, totally disregard his rights, and
call him no gentleman IL he dares to
resent an incivility."
"You ought to have been born q
man." said she.
II reckon the Lord knew what He
was about" said l, sharply.
"IIe didn't have the 'raisin Of you,
Mary Jane" saidSsshe, withsa soft. in
sinuating grace, and didn't say any
more.
SAD INCIDENT.
In due time we reached the Lady of
the Lake at the Seventh street wharf
or thereabouts, and boarding the craft,
we found quite lot of people we
knew, including Congressman Houk of
Tennessee. Now If there's one thing
more than another that do admire, 1t
is Congressman, single or double,
and smiled on the Judge at the rate
of fifty miles an hour. There were
some newspaper men in the party, too,
and hate newspaper men like piZen.
They always want to hear everything
and run off and tell it to their sub.
scribers at So per year in advance, with
liberal reductions to clubs / never
saw the skull of newspaper man, be-
cause all I've ever known had some
wager one of BANDS retail silver GER
tificates that there's ten.inch main
leading from his ear.drum to the roots
VI hio tohSuo anu AZ 10 hoNSi out VI IT,
pair.
MARY Jane" said Dickey, looking
over my shoulder, speaking of
women did a little business in the
manipulating of tongues themselves.
"Yes, my DEAR" said in pleasant
voice, you remind me of it con
stantly," and | went on without further
distur rbance.
However. as I was going on to say, l
met Judge Houk, and, while the Judge
isn't ladies' man, he was polite to me,
as he always is, and we Withdrew from
the newspaper men and had nice
little chat all to ourselves on Republi-
canism in Tennessee. AS we passed a
tannery, somewhere along shore, very
unrouantic odor was waited to our
olfactories.
"Whew," said !, whats that?"
"What's what?" said the Judge,
throwing his nose two points off the
lee bow
"That offensive odor," said l.
ooh, said he, with a confident sniff,
chats the Democratic majority in
Virginia"
Just then Jules Guthridge of the
Chicago Meas came by.
"Do you smell that smell ?" said l.
"Yes," said he, breathing it in with
relish; but | had no idea we were so
near Chicago"
| MONUMENTAL REFLECTIONS.
AS the boat drew away into darkness
and distance l looked back over the
twinkling waves at the city lying silent
| beneath the shadows of the hills with
the great monument towering above it
as white robed sentinel, and let my
thoughts retrace the years that lay be.
tween this night upon the waters and
that other night when the first light
shone on the bosom of the Potomac and
marked the spot on which should throb,
through all the future, the heart of n
Nation, whose blood should be the blood
of all peoples, whose arms should en-
fold the world. said as much to
Dickey.
MARY Jane" said she, irreverently,
"hadnt you better write that up for q
circus bill and hang it on the monu-
ment for Fourth of July decoration?"
Dickey is young yet, and the only senti-
ment she takes to is that kind which irradi-
ates, so to speak, from a four-story collar
and suit OF clothes that won't be paid for
until the January following the July when
II is ordered.
THE MYSTERY OF THE MOSQUITO.
At 1890 we bade good-by to portion of
our party and disembarked at Piney Point,
which, at that hour, beneath starless sky,
looked like a piece OF black velvet with a
half dozen shiney brass buttons stuck
along 1t In row. We went up to the ho-
| ul n,,I 5I,r nod ,tnn ,,,l