Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-05-05
THE LImE-KILN CLUB.

THE IImE-kILN CLtB.
When the meeting had been opened
in due form Brother Gardner said he
desired to call the attention OF the
meeting to the following circular re-
Gently issued by the keeper of the mu-
scum:
To the public: 1.-THE Lime-Kiln
Club Museum now contains about
1000 relics, ranging in interest from
the sword of Bunker Hill to the jack
knife of John Quincy Adams. We
have room for at least 2, 600 more, and
are making an earnest effort to build
up something which will live after us.
If you have anything in the nature of
a relic which you are willing to part
with, we will receive it with grateful
hearts. We sadly need another skull
of Nero, and can make room for any
old boots belonging to Plato, spades or
shovels used by Diogenes, or shot-guns
with the name of Caesar engraved on
the breech We are the only museum
in this country which accepts relics as
marked and swear by 'em forever
after"
Sir Isaac Walpole wanted some in
formation. He had been looking over
the annual report of the Detroit Police
Board, and had noted the fact that out
of 1000 arrests during the year there
were only four Africans. However,
when it came to colored people born in
the United States, the figures were 453.
Did this 60 to show that civilization
corrupted the colored man? Didn't il
give black eye to the generally &C.
cepted theory that the better colored
man was educated the higher above
crime would he soar? He would like
the views of the President on the mat
ter.
"My theory in regard to your figgers
am dis" replied Brother Gardner
Oar war only TO- real ole Africans
in Detroit, an arter desc had been run
in de stock was exhausted, an &c per-
lice had to go fur Guild Americans to
fill up de gap. When only one fish
hook out of sebenteen cetches a GUILD
man doan' reckon he am slidin down
hill so VERY fast. .
A communication was received from
Professor Wagerman, prophet and
predicter, offering to furnish the Lime
Kiln Club with spring two weeks
earlier than usual in consideration OF
the small sum of So. The Professor
is resident of st. Louis, and has pre-
dicted more dark nights during the
watermelon season than any Other
man in America.
"De offer will be succintly de
clined," replied the President. II am
not only ag'in fooling wild de weather
but if de white folks kin stand it We
shouldn't let on dat it hurts u.s."
Waydown Beebe said he mad beer
thinking for some time that the Clut
ought TO take it upon itself to gather
and compile certain statistics regarding
the colored race OF this country, anC
he trusted that a movement in that
direction would be favorably consid-
cred,
Pickles Smith supported the idea
He wanted to know just how many
colored men were hanged every year
how many left the profession of white
washing for that OF law; what number
became baldheaded; how many com
mitted suicide, and why they did it.
Several other members discussed the
subject lavsrably, and it was finally
agreed that a statistician should be ap
pointed at an annual salary of So
Brother Gardner announced that hi
would appoint Prof Clarified Walk
ingbeam to the position, and instructed
him to enter upon his duties at once
The salary is intended 10 be jus
sufficient to keep the Professors hail
cut close the year round.
Whalebone Howker offered reso
luton to the effect that the price o
whitewashing be advanced 10 per cent
on the LIST of May, and that the price
of carpet beating be advanced 10 pei
cent. Prices were now so low that {
real artist could scarcely buy lear
pork and frost bitten potatoes for hi:
family,
Elder Dayhall jenkins was delighted
at the idea. He lately put in two
weeks frescoing ceiling in differ
ent whitewash colors, and his wages
were less than $40. No man with any
of the inspiration of the true artist in
his soul could keep at his best on sucl
wages.
sin am my opinyun," observed the
President after the elder had subsidized
"dat any move jist now to increase
prices will react on us. If we begin t.
put up dc prices we shall skeer pc oplt
| out Of de ideah of whitewashin' OF
takin' up carpets. When de summer
has fa'ly opened dis subjick kin bt
| Lrnn1rht III, a n,in f1r liannshI1n -