The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-08-05
THE MERRY SIDEI

England and Mexico should pool issues in Sc
lecting administrations.
1t is nothing for man to olive up to his op-
portunities"- a horse-thief does that.
Ambition would oyerturn mountain-Lazi-
ness sits down and waits for something TO turn
up.
If the farmer is careful, he "breaks up'' the
land-if he isn't, the land "breaks up" the
farmer.
False pride is contemptibIe-it's the horse
that pulls the light load that does the most
prancing.
The fellows who attacked Logan SO viciousy
two weeks ago, are now trying to crawl under
his coat tail.
Cincinnati will compel the salvationists to
stay off the streets. They interfere with the
beer-wagons.
crank was found prowling Logan's house,
with revolver. 1t is not stated what Ohio pa
per ne represented.
The conceited young man is always in good
humor. He's congratulating the world on his
having been born into it.
'Why didn't old Payne demand an investiga-
tion p" cries the politician. Perhaps it was be-
cause he didn't want any.
When the political idiot said "the Republi-
cans unanimou ously denouncing Logan he
was looking in a mirror.
The people eat sixty million pounds of oleo-
margarine, ,annually-besides what is used for
hair-oil and harness-grease.
A u1ro,- O,,io ,o,o,, 1,os - oo,r +l,o s;,a of o,,
ordinary dog, and it gives milk. The COW is
not near as big as the story.
"we'n have victory, in spite of Logan" says
patent outside exchange. You're going over to
the Democrats, are you?
The natural gas company in Gallipolis has
"got its derrick up" says the Bulletin. Before
long it will have its back up
You may brag about your ''sulky- rake" but
the most sulky rake we ever saw was by boy
who wanted to quit and go fishing.
An Ohio man interviewed fifteen men, and
every one of them believed Logan and Evarts
had been bribed. They were all in Jail.
+.+
The European countries have vast number
of good men in their armies. What they need
is more good men outside of the armies.
An Indiana farmer found twelve men-turn-
ed to stone-in a cave. 1t was probably petit
jury, paralyzed in all its sinfulness.
Logan believes it all of Payne, now. After
seeing the way some Republicans have acted,
he hasn't any doubts about Democratic cussed-
ness.
Ironton ladies have their dresses spoiled by
tOhapcO-pbayparS at the Those fellows
ought to be in the pound-the opera is no place
for a hog.
A travelling doctor tried to cure the mouth
of Sandusky reporter, and killed him. He
didnt treat it right. He cauterized it, instead
of slapping it.
:, The powerful influence exelted upon the
United States Senate by "the Republican Edi-
tors of Ohio" in convention assembled, was
truly touching.
81 have solemn duty to PERFORM" said the
stump orator. sharp eyed boy scanned him
closely for moment, then said: "LeCs leave,
he's going to wash himselfp
A woman will go to Church and sing "cover
my defenseless head, with the shadow of thy
wing" then go right home and insist on cover
ing it with nine-dollar hat.
State officers are to look after violations of the
fish and game laws. The fellows who take
seine and do four dollars worth of work for six
cents worth of fish, will have to quit.
-
William Scott died at Baltimore, and the GER
tiicate of "a reputable physician" places his age
at 153. descendent of that physician was a
clerk at the polls in Cincinnati last fall.
A "Republican" paper in neighboring Coun-
ty bids good by to Logan, and consigns him to
the Democrotic party. The paper has patent
inside, and has been running fully five years.
The Cheyennes have simple courtship. The
brave serenades his favorite squaw, by playing
upon an elder flute. If she can stand the music
they both conclude that they can live together.
-
In Fairfield County, Jim Buchanan shot T. H.
Smith twice, but didn't kill him. Smith then
threw beer-glass at Jim, and smashed his
skull. The beer-glass is deadlier than the pis-
tol.
1t was thought remarkable that Payne sat
still in his chair and wouldn't ask for clean
ing up of the charge against him. Bat many a
schoolboy will see nothing strange in his con-
duct.
The stories of enormous quantities of trout
caught in the western summer-resort lakes,
proves that the people out there read the east
ern papers. They have been reading the snake
and Jersey COW stories.
There's good deal in the way you apply the
the lesson. A little boy read in Sunday School
Book of good sailor lad who always looked
aloft-and tried it. But he ran over salt bar
rel, and fell into cellar.
-
The Churches in GAINESVILLE are trying TO boy
colt the Sunday newspapers. How in the world
do they expect to hear of the Sunday prize
fghhts and baseball games in Cincinnati, with
out the Sunday papers?
woman at Sharon, Pa, declared the town
cursed, and took club and ran the people out
of their houses She is q religious crank, and
hundreds fall down and worship her and her
club. Let the club fall, now, sister!
They have started beer-hall at the Soldiers |
Home, and pronounce it a big Success. Gen.
Patrick is "an ardent temperance man." and |
he is ''delighted with it' 1t fieeces the old vet
Grams out of more than five hundred dollars a |
day.
"The Republican Editors of Ohio" want the
State Convention TO denounce, by name, fifteen |
U. S. Senators. Here's the resolution we want |
to pass: "Resolved, That we denounce the U.
s. Senate for not coming to Ohio and washing
our faces"
Some men never know when to sell. A Ken |
lucky farmer owned calf with two heads, and
refused fifty dollars for it, from travelling
Snowman. Next day it took sick and died, and
he had to sell it to the butcher for veal, and only
got five dollars forit.
Little Girl-"Ma, why does that strong man
tug at the chain when he's leading the blood
hounds along the street, in the Uncle Toms
Cabin parade?"
Moth her-'Hes afraid they'll lie down in the
street and go to sleep"
We took out a scythe the other evening, to
NOW a little patch of grass-but we had to go
and put it right up. We couldn't send souls
into torment for a wagon-load of grass. Every
man who came along tried his best to tel big
e,ar lilo ohout his ability as a mower than the