The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-05-22

ual difficulties. As it is now, a ride to the city hall on Third avenue car for amusement is far ahead of circus. What will it be when the protecting policeman is taken off the car?
 THE PRESIDENTS ALLEGED ENGAGEMENT.
 Never in the history of journalism have the people been deluged with so much sickly slush as is now being pub lished in some of the New York papers. l suppose there must be a demand for 1t or it would not be published. It reads something like the following GROVER PLAYS TAG WITH CUPID-ALL ABOUT
 HER TRoUSSEAU. After the style ofthe Nec Fork Chanlbermaids O,e1
 BUFFALO, May, 1886.
 It was whispered yesterday that Rev. Vim s. Hubbell, pastor of the North Presbyterian church would make some reference in his sermon to the approach ing wedding of Miss Frances Folsom, who attended his Sunday school when she was four years old
 The scene in the vicinity of the church batfies description Farmers from the country rode twenty miles in wagons without springs to be present. Many of the farmers camped in the church. yard so as to be on hand when the sex ton opened the church in the morning Excursion trains were run all day yes terday bringing in delegates. Two hours before the performance began the sign Standing Room Only was put out. Ticket scalpers did a rushing busi- ness.
 Parson Huhbell made no reference to Miss Folsom. The disappointment of the audience was intense. The young ladies assaulted him in body, and it was only through the intervention of the police that he was enabled to reach his home.
 The female seminaries have all closed The girls ceased to pay any attention to their lessons. They talked of nothing but the presidents marriage, and en- tirely neglected their studies Their minds run entirely on Clevelands mar riage. One of the pupils was asked by her teacher:
 When and by whom was America discovered?"
 By Christopher Cleveland, on the ninth of June, lSS6, unless Miss Frankie changes her mind, was the reply.
 All the female seminaries will close until at least two months after the pres ident is married
 WHAT HER GRANDFATHER SAYS.
 FoIsoMDALE, May l0 1886.
 The Chanbermaids' O,cn reporter called on Grandfather Folsom to-day He is a very intelligent old gentleman He was reading copy of the Chaa,brmai{s' Ocn when our reporter entered.
 How about the oriental gorgeousness of Frankie's trousseau?' asked the re- porter.
 Frankie's trowsers? What do I know about 'em; but Il tell you one thing, she'll wear 'em when she gets into the White House You kin gam ble about her havin her own way"
 " It is reported that you are going to do the handsome thing by the young couple?'
 " Gaas, writ Frankie last week just to sail in and buy everything she saw in Europe. l sent her check for forty dollars, and told her if that wasn't enough she could draw on me for five dollars more. You know she is my favorite niece, and I am immensely 
 So should infer. Are you intimate with the president?'
 " Not much, but I'm goin to be. As soon as he and Frankie are married, I'm going to move to Washington and help em keep house. I want to spend my time given Grover some p'nts about runnln the government. We are goin' in for a second term. Besides, 1 want to entertain the foreign ministers and dukes at the state dinners
 Il have no doubt but that they will be very much entertained When will the take place?"
 " haven't fixed the day yet guess I'll have to talk to Frankie about it be- fore set the day"
 Etc, etc
 The papers are filled with imaginary interviews that are too silly and nau- seating to be burlesqued It is very difficult to parody parody or burlesque ! burlesque.
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