The Panola weekly star. (Sardis, Miss.) 1882-18??, 1886-03-13
AwrnIcAn Gnf1HpHIsE.
The ssftlaa Qases's fspsfisass with ths
Festive aswiaa mashine Agent


We have lua learned, on excollski
authority, that the day following ihs
announcement that Queen Natalie bad
purchased forty American sewing ma
chimes and set women 10 work In The
royal palace making clothes for tho
seryian army, ~ agent for q machine
NJ another manufacturer secured M IN.
tcryicw with her Majesty, on the pre-
tense that hc brought news u another
scrylan victory" and Immediately pro-
cceded 10 business Your most
gracious Majesty be- began. II know
you will pardon this intrusion when |
inform you that some unprlnclpled
agent, taking advantage of your igno-
rance relative to the merits of tho
various sewing machines, has induced
you 10 purchase n perfectly worthless
article, but Our company has resolved
that this great wrong shall be rlghted.
am therefore authorized 10 remove tho
forty Hummer machines now In tho
royal palace, aud replace them with an
equal number of the world.rcnowned
firesidc machine. which embodics tho
best features of nll other machines, be-
sides possessing many merits Of its
own machine provided with nm able
bodied Teller, an electric hommor, n
broad gauge reaper and binder. q self
acting buster using q doublc-extcntlon
needle, warranted not 10 cut In the eye.
and the whole business running 80
lightly that child ten years old can
turn ont forty pairs Of army pants In
one day." Before the Queen had re-
covered from the dazed condition into
which the cnrontcry and yolubility Of
her visitor had thrown her. tho agent
had summoned dozen oi his accom-
pliccs, and inside Of twenty minutes tho
forty "lIummcrs' were standing ON tho
sidewalk and the same number Of "Fire-
sides" occupied their places In tho
palace.
Next day another stranger sought An
audience with the Queen, declaring that
his mission was most important "A
messenger from the King thought Her
Majesty, who ordered him 10 be admit
ted. II have fortunately learned" said
the messenger. "fhat some unconscion-
able person In the guise Of man has
by actual force. as II were. placed In tho
royal palace forty sewing machines
which are not worth the room they oc-
cupy. and will cause more dlssatlsfac-
tiOn In the house than cold dinner;
but you shall not suffer because Of your
lack Of knowledge In such matters. I
have the honorn--handlng the Queen
his business card---''to represent tho
latest improved and only perfect ma
chine ever inycnted--the Ne Plus
Ultra which Is marvel Of simplicity
and u multum in parvo Of usefulness.
lts sales ldst year kept our factory run
ming night and day, and the first OF jan
uary found us with twelve thousand un-
filed orders on hand. The Ne Plus
Ultra bas q magic ilutcr. revolving
washer and ironcr. automatic baby
spanker and self-regulating alarm clock
attached, tho whole forming the most
complete and desirable household article
the Ingenuity Of man ever conceived.
am ordered 10 remove the firesides'
now In the palace and substitute forty Of
our peerless Ne Plus Ultra--and tho
only compensation We ask Is certih-
cate over your own signature stating
that our machine Is the best In the mar.
ket. aud permission to use your por-
trait In our advertisement. And be
fore the Queen could interpose word
of objection. the forty fireside machines
were hustled out onto the sidewalk and
corresponding number Of me Plus
ultras" were hurricdly lugged Into the
palace. Early next morning the har.
rassed Queen locked up the palace and
went over TO spend week with her
Aunt Rachel. and Mt last accounts twen.
iy-seven agents were shadowing thu
royal residence awaiting an opportunity
10 bounce the Ne Plus Ultras. Norris
loDH (Pa.) Heraid.