Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-06-26
NAN As A REFORMER.
Things that He Would Do and that lie
Wouldn't Do.
[Chicago Herald

[Chicago Herald.
He would have the house run by force OF
such seeming magic that the male MEM
bers of the family would never recognize
wash day, sweeping day and houSe-clean-
ing time, or onions.
He would have the coffee as strong and
clear every morning as is usual on Sunday
morning, the lamps all properly trimmed;
and beef without bone, gristle, fat or fiber.
He would have the bed clothes securely
tucked in at the foot of the bed-nailed if
necessary.
He would see that his pipe and slippers
were to be found at night exactly where
they had been left in the morning likewise
his backing brush and his receipts.
He would never pose as a martyr be-
cause the male members of the family were
occasionally late TO dinner.
He would never look as if he had swal-
lowed something he couldn't digest when
male members of the family stayed out
late and made irrelevant observations
thereat
He would not make disagreeable remarks
regarding habits of drinking and smoking
to make sensitive members of the family
feel uncomfortable.
He would never be without a servant
under any consideration by dint of dis
eretion, conspiracy. and an aruiable dispo-
siton a servant would be always in her
place-to build fires and carry coal if
nothing more.
He would add to the culinary depart
ment without delay an improved patent
hash machine, a CHEEKY stoner, an apple
parer, a potato slicer, cabbage chopper
and he would wash dishes with mop,
always have holder in his hand ready
for use, never have the Stove-lld litter
q hot nd a
gloves on.
He would never be seen with crimping
pins or curl papers, neyes wear a soiled
apron or a Mother Hubbard, never have a
tear in his sleeve and always wear be-
Yitching lace breakfast cap. He would
paralyze the butcher the first time he sent
Tough meat, he would never have sour
bread, and he would have more good
things to eat and lesser bills from the
grocer.
He would always have the water pitch
ers full of water; always have the coal
stove filled with coal always have the
ash-pan empty; always have the lamps
filled; always have the wood-box full of
wood, and never allow emptiness in any
sort of a receptacle except the ash-pan
and cuspidor, to jar upon the nerves and
sensi iiiies of weary bread-winners who
come home from their daily toll.
He wouldn't allow the cook to burn so
much fuel and he would put the kindling
wood under lock and key.
He wouldn't always tell people how
much he had to do, and he wouldn't chase
himself around the house doing the thou
sand and one unnecessary things that
women do.
cabbage, fritters, fish or onions within the
sacred home precincts.
q He would never take more than usual
pains TO hide the buttonhook, the clothes
brush and the morning paper.
He would have eggs done to a turn in
exactly three minutes by the clock, and
not have the shells SO hot that no man on
earth could open them.
He would never take advantage of the
graveyard hours of the night to go through
trowsers pockets for small change.
He would never ask 4 dry goods clerk
to take down every bolt of cloth in the
store in order to select two yards Of clott
for an apron.
He would never allow church societies
missionary enterprises, literary clubs ant
other foolish female organizations TO inter
fere with the domestic diversions of mend
ing, darning patching and the like.
He would hang an illuminated motto o.
Charity Begins at Home" over the man
tel-piece and reflect on It's hidden meaning
He wouldn't hamper the mind of a busy
man with mailing unimportant letters t.
feminine correspondents in obscure sec
tons of the country, and then create ar
unnecessary family disturbance on finding
them week or so thereafter in the sans
coat pocket hanging safely in the closet
He wouldn't allow his watch to run
down; he would get the baby into tn,
habit of sleeping all night, and wouldn'
throw outinsinuating remarks about sprins
bonnets, and wear martyr expression
and red eyes with every change of the sea
son.
He wouldn't.berate dressmaker that b,
had paid SIS to ruin silk gown.
He wouldn't use his lap for writing
desk and criss-cross the lines on the SAM
sheet so no one on earth but woman
could read it.
He wouldn't put pins in his stocking
supporters and shoestrings he would but
ton his collars and cuffs like man, ant
never put pins in his belt.
He wouldn't give man pair OF hand
embroidered velvet slippers four sizes toe
LARGE for him, and then feel offended be
cause he won't wear them.
ne wouldn't give man smoking-ca
and a SIS cigar-stand for Christmas. and
tben made inconsistent remarks all the
nert wear about the extravagant habits Of
men. la, fr;o,ss
;, 10 street car about who should pay the
fare, but quietly allow the other woman &c