Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-12-02
BILL NYE, TIE HuMonIsr.
A Chicago Herald I" reporter In-
terviews Him.

hohWA1Ww
Chicago Herald.
Bill Nye visited Chicago last week,
although IL was not generally noticed, the
atmosphere was pervaied by the ozone of
good humor which follows Bill around Just
as a pug follows dudine. nv. Nye, ~ he
Is called by bill collectors and others with
whom he is not on terms Of social intimacy,
came to this city for the ostensible purpose
OF taking part In the entertainment given
by the Press Club, where he was entrusted
with the contract OF talking till the audience
filed In and got seated. A year ago Bob
Burdette was assigned the delicate mission
OF talking In steady flow OF humorous
sctntillations until the arrival from the
Columbia Theatre OF certain members of
the McCaull Opera Company. Mr.. Burdette
talked for three hours and drank several
pitchers Of Ice water. Mr.. Nys hoped that
he might have similar opportunity to dis
tinguish himself by administering to the
audience an allopathic dose OF purity Of
diction and brilliancy OF thought, but the
opportunity was not forthcoming, 30 he
goes away a disappointed man.
II am sorry that you have stated In this
cold-blooded manner that you have come
to interview me, otherwise should have
been tempted to ask you to sit down and
have some dinner with me-" said Mr.. Nye
to representative of the Herald "Besides
| have frequently noticed that II there are
any special times at which have nothing
to say which could possibly interest man OF
beast 1t i5 when | am being interviewed.
However, am prodigal and have no idea
Of the value Of money, 80 take chair aud
help youreelf to the cold BEANS"
Tue Herald reporter did so, dallying with
the beans with that Ohesteraeldian grace
that is only acquired by a careful study OF
all the published works on etiquette.
81 remember" pursued the humOrist,
speaking of beans--I recall a certain hash
repository In Wisconsin town where there
was waiter of abnormal toughness
There was dude sitting opposite me at
the table and he ordered beans. The waiter
went to the kitchen and called out "Beans
fOI dude.' Then hs came to me and rat
tied of his bill-of-fare. meekly asked for
beans, and going to the kitchen he yelled :
Another bald-headed chrome wants BEANS
But perhaps this subject does not interest
you. When absorbing theme am apt to
become garrulous. What are you going to
interview me about2 will tell you In ad-
vance that Chicago is Of all American cities
falrest and her men the bravest. i regard
Chicago as the greatest city of the universe.
Her base ball nine and her culture are alone
sufficient to make her famous. think
never encountered so cultured q aeommnnity
although have travelled all over the south
west. Every Chicago man you meet on the
street seems to be coated with heavy layers
OF culture. l am coming here to lecture
soon, 1t may be, and have dark bay
lecture, II hands high, which think ought
to be Just the thing for cultured Chicago"
"How do you like lecturing and reading
as compared to journalism"
II enjoy work, but like 1t better than It
likes me. The travelling does not agree
With me. have not had very good health
of lac kha toit ~ fba r{oI 90
life burden while am jumpi1g from one
town to another. 1t is moro prontabh work
than journalism, and have a good deal Of
time to write for various papers and maya
zines. Riley aud have been quite ns Sue
cessful as we could reasonably ask, nipi our
literary double song and dance have been
profitable to US as well as, have no doubt,
Instructive to the public. How did We
originate the conspiracy against the
public wealp Well, Riley has been on the
rostrum for four or i've years, and year or
so ago ] Joined him in giving an entertain
ment at Indianapolis. 1t caught on SO to
speak, and our present manager proposed
that we should join forces In one colossal
aggregation of wit, beauty and talent,
/ which was done, with the present happy
results
"Have you any other designs upon the
| public vest buttons, Mr.. Nye2"
"Thanks; you're very kind to put 1t that
way. Yes, I'm getting out Il new book. II
| is my normal condition to be getting out a
| new book. II ! were not getting out a
| new book / should feel that something had
| gone out of my life and that was not my
| self. This is the fourth book that have
| published In answer to the clamorous ap-
! napls of the public. Whenever the public
got to clumorlng too Loudly IOr a new book
| from me and II got SO noisy that could not
| ignore II any more / would issue another
-. ,la.I
| by dark blue volume, after which / pub
lished green book, all Of which were
kindly received by the American public,
and under the present yielding system oil
international copyright were greedily
| snapped up by some OF the tottering dynas-
| ties. But this book will, trust, be a larger,
| heavier and, IL possible, a redder book than
the first. II Is the book which, may say II
without boAsting, will live for weeks afte
| other books have passed away. Even to
those who cannot read 1t Will come like a
banison when there IL no vension in the
house. TO the ignorant Its pictures will be
pleasing The wise will revel In its wisdom,
and the housekeeper will find 1t invaluable
to emphasize a statement or kill cock
roach"
'You heartily recommend and indorse
the book, do you, Mr., Nye2"
II do, most emphatically. It has been
carefully read over by the pio0f-reader and
myself, and we do not ask the public to do
anything that we were not willing to do
ourselves"
"How long have you been subject to these
humorous attacks"
II have had them internationally for ten
years. wrote weekly letters to the Denver
| Tribune for while and then / meandered
| to Laramie City, arriving there with my
clothes and rs cents, / cast about me to
see what seemed the most promising Invest
ment for q man Of capital. l soon discov-
| cred that capital had no charms In the far
west; so IL was necessary to take to labor.
| Having a considerable assortment of long
words that had thought out at leisure mo-
ments l entered upon contract to I'LL
/ pRge week in a local paper. was drR-
| matte critic, night police reporter, sporting
| editor, society reporter, fire editor and hui
morist. Ny greatest success, though, was
as dramatic critic. used to pass most OF
my evenings at the theatre, where used to
| pick up good deal of news for tho crimi'
| nal column. While comedy was struggling
along on the stage pale-faced tragedy used
| TO stalk around In the auditorium armed
| with six-shooter. They used to sell
| YOU glass of beer for two bits and throw
| In ticket for the show. The beer
| was made of glucose, alkaH water,
| plug tobacco and Paris green. 1t was char
| itably intended to inebrlate the auditor so
he could stand the performance. used to
enjoy the theatre first rate, aud reveled in
pasaes, which always included coupon
| good for o schooner Of the aforesaid beer.
After officiating as u luminary of the Lar
annie press for several years, achieved a
postmaster4hip, but still, between the inter-
walls Of reading the postal cards, l managed
to keep the palpitatlng public informed as
to what was going on. Finally resigned,
and wrote to the President telling him
where he would lnd everything in the
office, the read postal cards carsfnily