Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-08
SPOE LED.

Young Hopeful lon seeing a negro baby for the first time)--Mamma, is that spoiled child.-Life.
 Since the earthquake we are beginning to suspect that the South is not as solid as rep resented Philadelphia Call.
 Just before Congress ad journed Representa- tive Herman complained of malarious symp- toms. ''Take k'neen,' said a friend. ''Well, will, replied Herman, thoughtfully. ''I've been taking qui-nine, but it doesn't seem to do me any good.'
 This, my son, is always an infallible sign that the summer is about over. Ali the newspapers published in villages located from 300 to 1000 miles from the nearest creek begin publishing f'Rules for the Treat ment of Persons Rescued from Drowning. ."- Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
 Clerk Reigle of the county commissioners office was at the Changers picnic this week. ssDid you see the educated pig:" queried a reporter to-day. ''No,'' said the affable clerk, ''but I the uneducated pig. He sat in 8 coming from the picnic and oc- cupied whole seat while several women stood. ."-Harrisburg (Penn.) Telegraph.
 Association of Ideas.-They went out in the gloaming listening to the music of the insect world. Arthur" she exclaimed, breaking the noisy silence, ''how delightful, yet how sad is the monotonous chorus of those toadstools!" ''Toadstoolsa my dear!' replied Arthur; ''I think you mean crick- ets." "Yes, erickets; that's what I mean knew it was something to sit on.'-Bos- ton Transcript.
 One day in the Senate cloak room Senator Vance was reading newspaper when an item struck him. 'How's this2' he asked, appealing to the three four statesmen dis tributed around the room in assorted pos lures, and reading follows: Senator In gals is the handsomest man in the Senate" '" L1- Ua,, "Really," replied Vance seriously, F'I can't say what it is, but think it is typographi- cal error. .''-Washington Critic.
 The following sporting note is gathered from street in the suburbs where several little urchins were throwing stones to see how high they could put them. One hap pened to be looking the other way during rade remarked: ooh, Johnnie, you ought ter ha' seen that; it went way, way up!" 'sWhat, not way, way up!' said Johnny, in tone of judicious conservatism. "Well," said the other, way up, anyhow. dence Journal.
 A venerable looking old man applied for 8 pint of California brandy last week at drug gists, stating that he wanted it to revive the color of a work of art. "Ah, that is for mechanical purpose" said the clerk, ''and here it is." The old man signed for the liquor according to the requirements of the law, and, paying for it, started toward the door. Before departing, however, he faced about, and with a droll expression on his countenance said: "It is to revive one of the old masters" Too late the clerk realized that the old man regarded himself as an old master.-Providence Journal.
 ''My dear," said young Chicago wife to her husband after they had returned from the wedding tour and settled down to house keeping, ''in looking over this box of books I find your fathers old family Bible, and here is an entry under the head of Births which says: Albert w.. born May 8, ls40.' Didn't you tell me you were thirty-seven years olds" s'Ah," replied Albert, pleasant ly, "that's a copy of the old version. It's full of mistakes. In my office down town have family Bible of the new revision. I'll bring it home this evening"" Albert's new family Bible was found to contain 8 different version of his birthday, and the slight cloud that had hovered over his household was dis pelled.-Chicago Tribune.