The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-10-29
HUMOROUS.

wv men man DuyS porous piaS-
ter he generally sticks to his bargain
Burlington Free Press.
The bicycle is older than is gener-
ally imagined. A generation or more
ago we used to sing, Turn about, and
wheel about and jump Jim Crow
Boston Post
Somebody says that zone who has
lost his presence of mind with his
clothes on fire should be thrown
down." A better plan would be to put
him out. -Norrdst0a0aa Herald.
An agricultural exchange thinks
that the old-fashioned pillow is soon
destined to become thing of the past.
We have often thought it was being
run into the ground Burlington Free
Press.
1t is said that the human race is
destined to be bald and toothless. This
need not alarm the people seriously. Z
great many have been born that way,
and the race is none the worse for it
LosoeU Times.
1t has been discovered that the
flaming meteor which fell in an Ohio
town few days ago was nothing but
a switch which a red-haired girl had
dropped from a third-story window
Philadelphia Herald,
A Jubilee. Judge-"Are you aware
of any mitigating circumstances in
your case?' Criminal-"Yes, your
honor, this is the fiftieth time I have
been arrested for vagrancy, and I
thought that perhaps we might get up
little jubilee, - Ieras SJtings.
-'Tm afraid that son of mine will
bring my gray hairs in sorrow to the
grave, if I live so long," said lady to
a sympathetic friend. Don't be
afraid, MAJ said her young hopeful.
Sooner than have that happen I'll
take your hair out of the drawer some
night and burn it. THE Judge.
johnson inquired Jones, Gin
what respect do a board bill and bill
board resemble each other?" "Both
generally pretty high responded
answer I'd thought of, said Jones,
with a sigh, "but because they're both
hard to jump. ~ ittsburgh Dispatch.
Its got to come, ;" said the solemn
man, solemnly straining away at the
handle of a door. ''What has got to
Gomez" excitedly asked dozen by
ISLANDERS, rushing up. 'Christmas!"
said the solemn man, solemnly, letting
90 the door hendle. And the bystand-
ers rushed down again. Son1eruitJe
Journal.
johnny Fizzletop's motherpu HIM
in the corner because he would not say
please" After he had been there
awhile she wanted to make him useful
in running an Grand .'You NAV come
out now, Johnny" she said in flute
like voice ''Not until you say please,
mother" was the reply of the little
boy.-Boston Budget.
New York Mamma-"O, YES, in
deed, Algernon is getting on splendidly
on the stage. " Friend. Wh hat did he
say when he wrote last?n New York
Mamma-''You will excuse the par
donable pride of the dear boy when
tell you he stated he was on his up
pers. (" Friend-"On his uppers?"
. New York Mamma Eyes -er-that is
= suppose ON the upper rounds of the
ladder of fame. It'd Bits.
Innocent Dear. A gentleman was
considering what kind of present to
give young lady friend. and at last,
deciding that it should be ring. said
to her: Now, my dear friend, what
kind of a ring would you like? 1t is so
very pulling; there are so many
sorts. = "Well, Mr.. Smith, one. you
know, don't like to make choice in
these matters little delicate-you I'M
derstand; but, really, if you insistupon
it--why, | should like an engagement
ringn' was the innocent reply.-M 7.
Te,10o3.