The Portland daily press., 1886-01-21
THE PRESS.
THURSDAY MORNING, JAN. 81.
WIT AND WISDOM.

The following is not chestnut 1t illustrates
the method Of Boston ''cnlchaw," when applied to
the art of criticism:
English Poetry 1.-THE professor has spent alto
gether too much time over Beowulf. Now. if he
poetry. thew would be really interesting
This is almost matched by the refreshing re-
mark of little Mrs. H. r. Hawels at Emersons
was showing her around, that Mr.. HawelS and |
did not make visit before all the people worth
knowing in America had passed away
Many of the leading physicians of Louisville and
the Southwest chew Cogan's Taffy Tolu and rec
ommend it to their patients
One of the darkey walters at an Alabama col
lege is a noted hypoerite. He was taken to task
lately by the students for some shortcoming, and
in the course of the examination one of them
why, Sam, what are you going to do when you
die and 20 to help"
.sWait on the students, sah," he replied naively.
There is no one article in the line of medicines
that gives so large return for the money as a
good porous strengthening plaster, such as Car
ter's Smart Weed and Belladonna Backaehe Plas-
tiers.
They were prominent business men, and, as
they stood on Change, they mourned over the vice
and wickedness and corruption, fraud, hollowness
and false pretense in politics. After determining
that the politician was a rascal and the onlp vir-
sue was to be found on Change, Jones, who is
prominent in the grocery line, remarked to Peters.
who has made money in leather:
"There are even few faScalS in trade Now,
had a case the other day. | bought six tierces of
lard from Bloom of Bloom, Flourish & Flower
guaranteed strictly pure, but after delivery,
found the stuff so damnably adulterated that it
was no use for my purpose at all. had to sell it
YES said Peters; "and got lot of horse
hides from Smithers some time ago SO badly
tanned that they would not stand scrapng. By
sOh, to mix with olive oil. What use have you
for horse hdes?"
''French calf uppers."
Why don't you try Carter's Little Liver Pills?
They are positive cure for sick headache and all
the ills produced by disordered Liver. Only one
pill dose.
Harry-"They tell me your friend Fannie Blank
writes great deal for the papers now. Can
yon tell me what her nom de plume is?p
Harriet (Hho knows something of FRENCH solil-
0quizes in an undertone, "Nom dc plume? ION,
yes, name of pen and then replies. with the
~, Harry, don't know what the name OF her pen
is, but suspect that it is either Gillotts or Es-
terbrOok's"
have suffered with the rheumatism for the
last four years, and now from The use of Athlo-
phorus am comparatively free from it,. | consider
Athlophoros a wonderful medicine, and have rec,
commended it to, every one. Mrs L. F. Jones,
Barnstable, Mass.
The other day fish peddler's horse baked
and refused to bulge an inch. The vender began
TO belabor the beast with a stick, when an old la
dy thrust her head out of window and exclaimed;
mo maam,' replied the peddler, nothing but
mackerel"
CCREF FOR CRoUP.-Use Dr.. Thomas's Electric
oil according to directions. It the best remedy
for all sudden attacks Of colds, pain and inflam-
nation, and for injuries.
Visitor of the dime museum to the little girl who
takes the cash-"We have made a bet, and we
want you to settle it. Is the bearded lady your
mother or your aunt?'
The little grI-"You are all wrong. She's my
father"
The Sufferer from Consumption or
any Wasting DiSease.-H not permanently
cured will find greater relief-n the use OF
3cott's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver
Oil with Hypophcsphites than in any
other remedy they can use.
''Some folks say Pm eonceited,' remarked
young Popnoy the other day, "but I'm not /
don't believe in hiding what talent Eve got under
bushel. that's ALL
Chats where you're right, young man." ex-
claimed by-stander apprOvingly Il wouldn't
waste bushel on it if were you. Small-sized
pint measure would be amply sufficient"
Bread is the staff of life" and good bread eau
ol.rovc ha ,,,ada NV ucino tho CnnoraSS Yeast Pow