The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-10-14


Never attempt to teach man older than
yourself until you are sure you know more
than he does.
wise man rejoices in the intelligence of
those about him. A fool hates those who do NOS
think as he does.
crank will not dissatisfied with the idea eff
his own righteousnesss-he wants to judge the
earth.
The safe rule is to always look forward-but
many a young man learns it from his girls
fathers boot.
A wild man in New York astonished his cap
tors by the oddity OF his dress. He had nothing
on but patch of dirt.
''Vote as you pray!'' he said to us, on the
street. We looked at him-and couldn't have
prayed for laughing.
This campaign is the Republican party against
the ield-with several bush-whackers hid in
the red-brush.
Our Democratic exchanges are telling what
.in ornament McGillivray will he to the bench.
Why, he won't be there at all.
The Democrats are disgusted with the cam
both ways before the election.
"The Republican party was mean that
left t." says the crank.
Thank you! 1t is better since.
-
"What has the Republican party done ?" yells
the crank.
No, friend, you can't play the hypocrite in
this world. The Lord knows just what you're
doing, and He will be sure to tell som ebody.
1t is reported from Washington that they are
turning the cranlzs out of Office. What will be-
come of the Democratic Administration?
An old bachelor says the custom of ringing
wedding-bels is appropriate -"because the
clatter begins as soon as wife comes around
There is in this world too much of tendency
to claim the honey after somebody else has
| smoked out the bees.
Many a mother worries because her "poor
dear boy can't eat,' at table-when he has put
away seven or eight big apples and smoked
| cgar-stump, before dinner.
| +.+
There is in this world too much of the kline
of friendship that presents man with ter
cent flower for his front yard, then robs hi
hen-roost while he's planting it.
|
Col. Vance, OF GaIlfpolis, objects to sayini
anything disrespectful concerning the past his
tory of Charleston. No wonder Democrat
would rather have silence on the subject
A Prohibition orator declared that he "ba
mo quarrel with the Democratic party"
course notI The hog never quarTe15 with tha
| I, in
1t is mortal offense to many professe
Temperance worker, to suggest a practices
method of Prohibition-let men quit drinking
When they do this, the occupation of the blati
ersElte is gone.
The boy was showing his rabbit-burrow, an
carefully placed an old seive over the opening
"What do you put that over there for?" aslze
his friend.
"Oh, that's to keep the Alderney COW out"
Many Republican papers in Ohio are teemin
with sausage-mill editorials. If you don't ne
them in one, you have at least t,venty-fis
more to go on.
Attol ney-General Garland spent his vacatio
happily, "because he did not read the papers
Now we know why the Democratic party
always in good spirits.
+.+
The Apaches are still on the war path. The
want to be captured and put into winter-qua
ters. In fact they ought to be sent to a nif
warm place.
Jim Eldrich, of Indiana, was fined fifty do
lars for breaking a neighbor's skull. Thi
neighbor has the satisfaction of knowing VIII;
his skull is worth.
Judge Thompson, in an interview in Wasl
ington, says 'King Bob's staying qualities al
, excellent" But it isn't staying qualities "
want-it'S votes.
A newspaper at Shelbyville, Indiana, hs
been sued for five thousand dollars for slander
ing the candidate for Coroner. That's right
It's poor country that cannot protect its ow
statesmen.
VIOLA BELL.-Yes, your lavender kids weI
doubtless made fIom the skin of "nigger," tar
ned in the Ohio Penitentiary. They're tannin
them regularly now, to make seal-skin sacque
A Cincinnatian tried to commit suicide b
turning on the gas. 1t wouldn't work. 81
went to sleep and peacefully dreamed that
was in Cincinnati beer-doggery.
The Baptist ministers of Boston refused t
encourage the bringing of the Two Sandstone
and Small, to that city. They regard the circu
season as over.
The capture of Geronimo by Gen. Miles was
brilliant affair. The benighted old savage mad
terms that compel the Government to kee
him, but do not permit his trial and punish
ment.
7 "Suppose," says the temperance lecture
f. s'that man has ten dollars; there's no saloo
= around, and he goes home and gives the none
y to his fam"
Hold on! Suppose there IS saloon near b.
s and the man does the same thing. How muc
good would he do the saloon.
Missouri has quarrantined against Ohio cattl
Since the Democratic officials at ColumbI
5 went to skinning and tanning Democrats, I'll
|. Western friends want to know what kind
meat they are getting.
The Courier-Jour,al says Smalls, the colort
) Congressman from South Carolina, twas SCI
to Congress because the Republicans in
District are not white" 1t might have add
s that nearly all the Southern Republicans a