Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-03
BRIGHT BIS.

sam JONES says: "a cold "a pit will make
A cold pew" yet we have seen red hot
preacher make congregation SILVER. Lo1ceI
Cttisen.
4 SCIENTIST says that a body weighing 100
mounds on the earth would weigh two tons on
Jupiter. Some men seem 20 imagine that
they live on Jupiter all the time.--Ae0 Hdren
-Aezcs.
JAHEY--Fader, dere's a ny in der soup.
MIR. Cohn--Vel eat all but der fly before you
show IT to der WAITER den you can get some
more. RdDabIer.
"sTEUcK. by gum" exclaimed the young
man whose best girls KID brother had sur
reptttlously plared lot OF molstened wax
upon tine char MS sisters dude beau sat on
C0tn"bNs DtSDdfch.
Al thought you were a vegetarian, and
now see you eating mutton.
B-Well, am only an indirect vegetarian,
| eat the meat of sucn ANIMALS only as live
on vegetable food Fttegend9 Etdtser.
EURoPEAN-He-Aud did you see Monte
Carlo?
she-No. papa called on him. believe; but
fr Jm his disappointed appearance when he
got back to the hotel, think Dir. carlo
must have been out.-Itd-Btts.
FoGG-This tea reminds me Of ''the quality
WaIter-Whas dat, sab?
Fogg-It lis not strained" You don't see
it, OF courre. Knew you wouldn't; but go and
get me some mOre.-R1~bler.
lam wretched hand at remembering
faces" said Yeast to Crlmsonbeak the other
afternoon.
yes, / notice you haven't remembered
the face of hat $40 note | let you have last
MONTH" replied CrimsonbeaE, with feeling.
-Y"Rke's Statesman.
DIR. Y. loses his wife and ne goes to the mar
bic cutters to order monument. He selects
an expensive model, but demands reduction
IN the price. The sc Ter objects, but finally
consents with the remark: Nv ell. let II go at
that. But remember 1t is only to you, because
you send us 80 many good customers.
reHcb uf;.
Now that we are together wei,
| There's something. wife, that should be said;
For certainly tits for our good
That al at first be underst0Od;
Would YOU through lire as President,
Or as Vice Pres dent be content"
Neither, my love, IL can be
Controller of the currency" lid Bits.
AIS there a colored man around here VINO
can beat a carpetS" asked a citizen of a
Whitewater at the market yesterday.
Il reckon dat pusson ober dar' Kin do it,
sab"
rs he a profesalonal?'
"Yes, san. He's beat two groceries. three
saloons am his wife, an l reckon he kin git
away wild ea'pet."--D Detroit Free Press.
A YOUNG NEGRO bootblack observed a
neighbOr poring wisely over a newspaper
whrreupon he addressed him thus:
Julius, what are you looking at dat paper
for? You can't read"
500 away" cried the other. Indignantly
''guess | can read: I'm big enough for hat"
big epuf," retorted the other scorpfully;
''dat aint nDflin. A cows big enough to
catch mice, but she can't."-BoSton COM
HtOt1CeG III.
HIGHw AYMAE-Come, deliver up. Your
money or your brains.
Better take both, stranger, for you will
need my brains to manage my money, and
even then, if you can make both ends meet,
you will do better than can"
whats your business"
"pm q country editor"
POUNDS! That's the third penniless tramp
I've stopped to- day"
"Say. stranger, gimme chaw Of your plug
will youP'-D0tsDtIie Breeze.
FIRST PAsToR-You have paid choir be-
lieye?
> cond ditto-Yes and very good one.
First Pastor-I don't believe IN them. 1t is
wrong IN principe and is an extravaganza a
church should not sanction.
Second ditto-That's What I thought, my
dear brother but it got so in my church that
we were cumpelled either to pay the people
to stay and listen to a volunteer choir or pay
a choir to sing, SO on the score of economy we
concluded to hire a choir instead Of a con-
gregatIOn,-W dSh5H atm critic.