St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1886-03-18
THE PRESIDENTS DRESS SUIT.

They were sitting alone in the din
ing-room of the White House, the
president and his private secretary,
fondly lingering over their pie. There
was mince, apple, pumpkin, lemon,
custard and-tO the credit of the adj
ministratiOn be it said-their respec-
tive undercrusts were well done.
"Dan,n said the president, "I've
been but poor company at dinner to-
day"
81 suspected that you had something
on your mind that was bOthering you,"|
Dan assented.
eyes 1 did have" the president
went on, after helping himself to a
quarter of the mince, ''and it's there
yet, Dan. The fact is, something hap
pened last evening which has annoyed
me ever since. My personal comfort
has been interfered with and my faith
in human nature has received a severe
shock"
''I'm very sorry tOh hear this" Observ-
ed the sympathetic private secretary,
cutting into fresh cHstard as he
spoke, "wOuld you mind telling me
the particulars ?"
"The particulars are these" exclaim-
ed the president with voice suffused
with emotion and pie. "Last week l
ordered new dress suit on the dis
tinct understanding that it was to
reach me at the White House yester-
day afternoon without fail. Counting
on the tailor keeping his word, two
days ago, initiating Mr.. Lincoln,
gave away my dress suit to disap-
pointed applicant for foreign mis-
sion. Well, last evening when the
time came for me to dress for a recep-
ton which particularly desired to at
tend, | couldn't find my new clothes.
L telephOned to my tailor an angry
message of inquiry, but promptly was
informed that the clothes had been de-
livered at the White House early that
afternoon. All the servants denied
having seen them. You were spend
ing the evening down town so |
and the consequence was | had to re-
main at home. The worst of it is,
Dan, that | am compelled to believe
that some one of the servants Is dis
honest and has made off with the
clothes"
The private secretary listened to
comment, but with an amused express
sion on his face, and when the presi
denS finished he burst into fit of
laughing.
"You may laugh" said the presi-
self with bumper of lemon pie, "but
tell you, Dan, it's no laughing mat
ter to me-"
vate secretary, "but | cannot help
laughing when think that your fail
ure to connect with your new dress
suit was entirely your own fault. That
suit hasn't been stolen"
"Why, what do you mean, Dan p
"Well, it's just here" Dan cOntin-
ued, 81 happened to be passing through
the hall when your dress suit arrived
yesterday, and having just read an adj
vanced copy of your message to the
senate, gave my orders accordingly.
[ remarked to the messenger with the
clothes, CHOSE garments, my son, be-
ing unofficial and private, you had bet
ter take them over to the department
of public justice and have them hung
up there. That's where the president
keeps private and unofficial things
| presume the boy obeyed my orders,
so doubtless you'll obtain your clothes
by addressing a line to the attorney
general. To quote from your mes
sage, Il consider them in no proper
sense as upon the files of the depart
ment, but as deposited there for the
presidents convenience, remaining
completely under his control"
"Dan," remarked the president,
when the latter having finished his
explanation fell to sampling ii volup-
tuous apple pie, ''of course you meant
well in what you did, but another time
please allow unofficial and private raj
ment intended for my wearing to be
placed in my White House bOudOir."
"TO hear is to obey" replied the
private secretary "but permit me to
state i'm defence of an act which has
caused you pain that it occurred to me
that if you thought the department of
justice was good place to keep your
unofficial and private papers, you
would naturally select that depart
ment as the custodian of your individ-
ual coat, your personal trousers, your
private waistcOat."
"Have another quarter of mince pie
with me-" said the president, in soft,
conciliatOry tones, "and we'll eat for
getfulness to the incident" Ne w
York Tribune.