Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-12-22

Drlgnte0i0S Win ntIclpdiOu.
Have you got ten cents about your per-
son ?'' inquired the first speaker again.
eyes, what of of it," asked Gus.
"Well, you give me ten cents, and that,
with the money have, will purchase
prime cigar"
'sBut what will get? ?"
"Why, you'll get the smell which you
say you dote upon so much"
~ "Thomas, you have disobeyed your
old grand father"
mo I didn't ma.''
eyes you did. Have you not been in
swimming?"
Eyes, ma"
.'Didn't hear him say to you not to 60
in swimming?"
"Oh, he didn't tell us that, he only came
out and said: Boys wouldn't go in swim
ming,' and I shouldn't thi nix he would, an
old rheumaticky man like him; but he
didn't say nothin' about our going in swim
ming"
EDUCATIONAL INTELLIGENCE.-Ther
was an examination Of the graduating class
: of the University Of Texas.
ssIf one bushel of wheat costs forty cents
how much will ten bushels of wheat cost ?"
asked q visitor.
There was an awkward pause.
ssWell," said the visitor, "I'lf ask you an
other question, eff you 60 into asaloon and
one whisky toddy costs fifteen cents how
much will two cost?"
"Yop get two for quarter" yelled the
graduating class in chorus.-7sras Sytiags.
i How GEN. BEAVER PAID IN ADVANCE.
Gen. Beaver, Governor-elect of Pennsylva-
MIA, during his recent campaign, was asked
by colored editor to subscribe for the Pitts
burg Broad .Aze. The price is 81 year.
Gen. Beaver handed the editor $50, expect
ing $40 in change. He was presented with
the following:
Received of Gen. Beaver, for twenty
years subscription, $2O."
"If you're dead the paper'll go on" said
theeolored man to the astonished General.
: In A WARNER CLIMATE.-"YOu're not
getting much better. Mr.. Bascom?"
'sNo, Mr.. Ellis. Perhaps ought to 60 to
warmer clttuate.
..That might help you, no doubt. WHO'S
your physician?"
"Dr. Blank"
9Ah! And you follow his directions ?"
''Implicitly."
'Well, keep on doing so and you'll find
yourself in warmer climate soon enough"
Philadelphia Gall.
1@ Billings (meeting Baxter who is walk
ing rapidly along the street)-"Helloa Bax-
ter, why this rush ?"
Baxter-"I am walking fast to keep that
fellow Stages from catching up with me.
He is an awful bore. So long"
Billings (meeting Stages, who is walking
slowlye"Helloa, old fellow, why are you
poking along this way?"
Staggs-"To keep from catching up with
that fellow Baxter. He's the worst bore
in town."
HE KNEW THEIR WEAK PoINT.-New-
ly elected memer of Congress Ito commit
tee of the Woman's Suffrage association
81 will present your bill, ladies, before the
House, but you must remember that every
voter must be 21 years old or over that age,
to vote.
Middle aged Committeewoman-"Oh,
dear me, girls, we never thought of that; !;
we had better let it 60 for few years until
we are old enough.-lsras SJiftings.
s@ Not long since Gus de Smith took a
stroll through the Austin graveyard. When
he came out of the graveyard he looked
very serious. Gilhooly meeting him asked
him what was the matter.
"Nothing, only was thinking that the
Austin husbands must light all the fires in
the mornings"
"What makes you think that?''
swell, see 80 many of them are burned
to death. I noticed on three or four tomb
stones: Peace to his ashes.'"
D1scHARGED.-Magistrate-"The young
woman says that your continued staring at
her annoyed herexcessively."
Prisoner-"I never Intentionally annoyed
a woman in my life, your honor"
= Magistrate-"Then why did you stare at
her so persistently?"
Prisoner-"Because she is pretty and
couldn't helpit."
Young Woman-"Let him 60, judge."-
Life.
~"You consider him man of courage?"
eyes, sir; do"
"And you are positive that he is person
Of unusual nerve?'
'Yes, decidedly So"
"On what do you base this opinion?
"Why, sir, he crawls out of bed every
morning at o'clock, and there isn't anoth-
er man in my neghborhood that's got the
grit to do it."
% DR.. Gimlet returns empty-handed
from days hunting and in response to
his wife's inquiries, candidly confesses that
he killed nothing. "Why,"r retorts Mrs. G.
'you could have done better than that had
you stayed at home and attended to your
regular business. s."-Lo,CeU Citizen.
PRooF.-"They wouldn't let me work,
Susan, cause Pm out with them knights,
an wasn't q union man,"
'Lawks, Jabez, can stand your being out
wild 'em nights, but jes take your penshun
papers round an show 'em you was a Union
man an always will be- .''-Harper's Weekly.
SHOPPING IN THE CoUNTRY.-"No,
ma'am; those are two articles we don't
keep but the oysters, think, you will find
at the post Office, and bananas you can get
across the way, at the barber's."-Harper's
Bazar.