Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-11
A MARROW ESCAPE.
How Humorist Was Saved From tho At
tack of Midnight Burglar.

low Humorist Was Saved From tho At |
tack of Midnight Burglar.
1 had a very thrilling experience the |
'ther evening l had just filled an en-
in a strange city and retired
o my cosy room at the hotel.
The thuadors Of applause had died
away, and the opera house had been
ocked up to await the arrival of an
Uncle Toms Cabin company. The last
Ioiterer had returned to his home, and
the lights in the palace of the pork
packer were extinguished.
No sound was heard save the low,
tremulous swash of the sleet outside,
or the death rattle in the throat OF the
bath tub. Then all was still as the
bosom of q fried chicken when the
spirit has departed.
The swallow-tail coat hung limp and
weary in the wardrobe, and the gross
receipts for the evening were under
my pillow. needed sleep, for l was
worn out with travel and anxiety, but
the fear of being robbed kept me from
repose. know how desperate man
becomes when he yearns for another's
gold. | know how cupidity drives
wicked man to manglc his victim that
he may win precarious prosperity and
how he will often take short cut to
wealth by means of murder, when, II
he would enter politics, he might ac-
complish his purpose as surely and
much more safely.
Anon, however, tired nature sue
cumbed l know l had succumbed,
for the bell-boy afterward testified that
he heard me do so:
The gentle warmth of the Steamboat
ed room and the comforting assurance
of duty well done and the approval OF
friends, at last lulled me into a gentle
repose. g,
ANY one who might have looked
upon me as lay there in that innocent
siumber with the winsome mouth
slightly ajar, and the playful limbs
cast wildly about, while merry smile
now and then fitted across the regular
features, would have said that no heart
could be so hard as to harbor i'll for
one so guileless and simple.
| do not know what it was that
caused me to wake Some slight sound
or other no doubt broke my slumber
and l opened my eyes wildly The
room was in semi-darkness.
Hank!
A slight movement in the corner
and the low, regular breathing of
human beingl was now de-awake
Possibly | could have opened my
eyes wider, but not.without pulling
them out of their sockets.
Regularly came that soft, low breath
ing. Each time it seemed like a sigl
of relief, but it did not relieve me
Evidently it was not done for that pur
pose. 1t sounded like sigh of blessed
elief, such as woman might heav
after she has returned from church ant
transferred herself from the embrace o
her new Russia iron, black silk dres
into friendly wrapper.
Regularly, like the rise and fall of
wave on the summer sea, it rose and fell
while my pale lambrequin of hair ros
and fell fitfully with it.
know that people who read this wi
laugh at it, but there was nothing t
laugh at. AT first l feared that tn
sigh might be that of woman who ha
entered the room through transom i
order to see me, as lay wrapt in stun
Der, and then carrying the picture ava
to gladden. her whole life
But no, That was hardly possible
1t was cupidity that had driven SON
cruel villain to enter my apartment
, and to crouch in the gloom till IL
proper moment should come in whit
to spring upon me, throttle me, crow
! a hotel pillow into each lung, an,
: : while did the Desdemona act, rob n
: of my hard-earned wealth.
= Regularly still rose the soft breat
! ing, as though the robber might be tr.
y ing to suppress it. l reached gent
y under the pillow, and, securing Il
money, put in the pocket of my rol
de mutt. Then with great care pullt
out copy OF olllltn " Nessoh Sre
l. work on ''How to Ventilate the Hum;
y Form" l said to myself that l wou
e sell my life as dearly as possible, so tn
c whoever bought it would always regl
p the trade.
Then opened the volume at the fiji
chapter and addressed thirty-eigl
a. calibre remark in the direction of
breath in the corner.
N When the echoes had died away
Is sigh of relief welled up from the da
re corner. Also another sigh of rel
Il later on.
II However, lit the gas with my |
g hand and kept my revolver point
L toward the dark corner where the bre;
J., was still rising and falling.
I'd People who had heard my lect'
ie. came rushing in, hoping to find tina
I'd had suicided, but they found that
stead of humoring the public in {
re. way, had shot the valve off the ste
radiator.
1t is humiliating to write the fore
ing myself, but l would rather do
than have the affair garbled by carel
I'M hands. Bill Me-, IN Boston Globe