The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-09-10
HOWELL COBB'S JOKE.


OUTWITTED BY HIS SEC
RETARY OF THE TREASURY.
A Trial Trip'of the Harriet Lame Which
sorely vfxcd the Pre..dent An Item
lied Bin of Expenses Cobb, sarprisc'
"the Old Squire
The last Democratic president, James
Buchanan, had his own idea as to the use
of our public vessels, and story was pub
lished many years ago OF how this IDEA
cost Howell Cobb, his secretary of the
treasury, a nice little sum. 1t was at the
time of the launching and trial trip OF q
revenue cutter, which had been made I'M
der Cobb's direction and named after Blu
chanan's niece "The Harriet Lane" CoDo
concluded that on this trial trip of the
new vessel he would invite the cabinet,
the foreign legations, the president, ana
others of his acquaintance to take sal!
with him down the Potomac. He made all
his arrangements without saying woro
to the president, and the matter was
pretty we'll advanced before b'ichanan
heard of it, When it first came to his ears
sOld Buck" sent for his attorney general
Jere Black, and Black, when he came 70
the White House, found Buchanan nusneo
with anger. As Black entered he said:
"Are YOU going on this blanked frolic? I
would like to know what you think OF
Cobb's using our public property for his
private entertainments"
Attorney General Black replied that he
was not going on the Harriet Lane trip,
and though he did not like to criticise
Cobb, still he was not backward in saying
that he did not approve of it. "But,' con-
tinued he, "Mr. President, Cobb has gone
on with this affair and issued his invita-
tions and l don't see what you can do
about it,"
"Do about it," said Buchan, in a rage,
do about it! Why of course will stop it.
It is scandalous affair and will not be
held responsible for it. I certainly will not
allow it to 60 on"
WANTED IAN IrEM1ZED BILL"
Black then placed before Buchanan the
probability that Cobb thought he was do
ing nothing wrong when he was making
the arrangements, and the fact that II he
stopped the affair now it would cause q
great deal of scandal both in this country
and abroad, as the foreign ministers had
be en- invited.
ouCUAuAu AVpIcClAtcU C0ASs 0uNA AA0AAy
said that he thought that he would let
Cobb 60 on IL he wanted to and he would
pay all the expenses out Of his own pocket.
The excursion did 60 on, but neither the
president nor Attorney General Black
were present. At the first cabinet meeting
after it Buchanan said to Cobb: "Mr. Sec
rotary, want you to bring me an item
lied bill of the expenses incurred during
the trial trip of the Harriet Lane. want
detailed account of everything-the coal
consumed, the salary Of the officers, tho
wages Of the seamen, and the cost Of every
bit OF supplies used on the trip"
Cobb did not know what to make of this
demand, but he replied quietly: Ger
tainly, Mr.. President, I will do So"
! Shortly after this the cabinet me -ting
ended, and Howell Cobb and Jere Black
walked down from the White House to-
gether. When they had gotten opposite
where the attorney generals Office is now,
Cobb, who had been silent up to this time,
burst forth:"What in thunder does the old
squire mean?"
Black made no reply, and Cobb went on
"You know what he means, and l know
you do, and now want you to tell me
frankly what he is up to-"
Black then related his conversation with
Buchanan, and concluded with the state
ment that Buchanan had asked for the
bill in order that he might pay it out Of
his own pocket
Howell Cobb always whistled when he
was surprised, and he now gave loud
long continued whistle and said: "That il
what the old squire is up to- is it. Well
I will see whether con surprise him."
A SURPRISE FOR THE PRESIDENT.
It this point the conversation dropped
and Black and Cobb went on to the treas
ury. Every once and awhile Cobb woult
repeat his whistle, and as Black left hin
he heard the whistle coming out Of tn
treasury door as Cobb entered. The mex
cabinet day came, and with it came Cobb
who seemed to be the happiest man Of tn
council. The president looked glum
but Cobb was cracking his jokes at every
body. The business of the meeting was a
last concluded, and the secretaries ha,
arisen to take their departure, whel
Buchanan turned to Cobb and said rathe
sharply: "Mr. Secretary, where Is tina
bills'
Cobb, assuming an innocent air
answered.: "What bill do you mean, MI
President"
II mean the bill of expenses for tn
trial trip Of the Harriet Lane" answere,
Buchanan sternly, shave you got it wit
your"
"Oh! that BILL" said Cobb; Eyes, believ
have it somewhere about my clothes,
and hereupon Cobb fumbled first in on
pocket, and then in another, and tinall
drew out a piece of crumpled paper whic
he handed to the president with: Il CUES
that is it."
Mr.. Buchanan took it and looked over
item by item. His face was full of DISCUS
y as he read, and he seemed to look dagger