New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1886-09-29
NOAH'S ARK.

After much tribulation, Noah and
his sons succeeded in completing the
ark to their satisfaction, and, having
floated it, they brought it next the
shore. adjusted the gangplank and
fixed the time for all the chosen ami
mails to appear for embarkation. On
the morning of the appointed day Noah
took his station at the head of the gang
way with his long list ready for check
ing, while his three sons prepared to
usher the animals to their proper quar-
teIs.
Now, this proposed voyage of
Noah's had excited much talk among
the neighbors, and consequently many
idle and curious people came down to
see the departure. Among them was a
worthless, ribald fellow, Eli by name,
a frequenter of inns and sinful places,
who made himself conspicuous as he
sat on a stump and endeavored to chat
the diligent Noah.
''Think it's going to rain, hey, Noah?"
he shouted, glancing around at the
lowering sky.
Certainly" replied the great wealth
'er profit, 'briskly beginning work. Two
lions, 'tally!''
'"Much?" 'queried his interrogation.
Biggest rains yet. Two bears, tally!
hut warned you long since. Don't
bother me now at the last minnit, I'm
busy. Two Guinea pigs, tally! Stop
'crowding so, you beasts. There's lots
of 'time,'' and the good man mo-
toned the pressing animals back with
his style.
want any ihelp?'' ventured Eli.
'No-pe?" Two tigers, tally?'
'.I'll ship cheap
'Lemme lone; I'm busy. Two pam
!'thers. tally!''
Taking any passengers?''
''No! Numbered the exasperated
seer, but mastering himself, continued
in nilder tones: Two antelopes,
itally!'
Better try and make little that
way. You're going too much on live
freight.
..:EwoSsheep, tally! Can't you keep
>still?' implored' the prophet.
I'D like to,work my passage, per-
SISTED the obnoxious man.
.I.won't take one fool. Two goats,
|,taly!'
20, we'd nlake;a pair so that's NO
excuse"
1.-TWO hogs, talIyr' cried Noah, ig-
:noring the wicked man.
.':Um. I don't think it's going to
rain much anyhow the worthless fell
ilowihazarded, glancing around at the
(ssky.
hope you'll find it is, replied the
checker vindictively. 1.-TWO eleph-1''
cab, there! Look out, Noah!'' sud-
denly yelled the discordant Eli CHOSE
elephants :are smuggling goods on
You.
."Where?'' ,cried the startled Noah.
I,scrutinizing the animals for contra
hands.
'In theirs trunks, replied the trifer.
;and:'all the wicked people lining the
shore ssetup shout at the disconcert-
ed weather prophet.
For. a time the embarkation went for
ward without disturbance. Eli slowly
ate "a huge slice of watermelon, and
silently contemplated the proceedings
sNhileithe people discussed the sight.
Having finished the melon, Eli threw
the lrind to; "a. COW. wiped his mouth on
the back of his hand, and shouted:
41l'ook' out, Noah, there go two female
cloves in ION you!'
stop! you doves, . cried Noah. hur
Freddy erasing the italy mark .'Now
dom you try that. game on nle, and he
shock his style Indignantly.
4HBnt, father, the bird insists he's a
male, cried. aaphet who was versed in
the lna guage of fowls, and who had
rushed up onseeing the commotion.
Don't yon believe. her," Moderated
Eli. 4sShe's fooling syou. I guess l
know a she bird ,whenI see herr
''Umn' faltered Noah, beginning to
perspire aa his aslandary, this is .seri-
GUS and maustbe: settled at once, or we
shall ultimately be in. difficulty
''Yi!' hailed the exultsnt Eli; .4can'h
you tell a male from a female birde
Sho! don't believe you know whether
it' going to rain ,or not:''
"How ana I to know :anythinge'' !;
the perplexed Noah. I'm
only good on weather probabilities.
Help me out there, EE, will you, that's
a good fellow, and will remember and
see if I can't find place for you when
the e2rgo's all aboard
.1Men," drawled the mollifed Eli,
''in taaat case l don't mind telling you
the secret. It's a very old method,
though, and SO simple that I'ln sur
prised that such weather sage as
yourself never discovered or heard
Of one.
What IS it?' asked the anxious
Noah. Well have to pay closer at
IGNITION to these birds, or there will
surely be trouble .
We'll, now. eheerfully replied Eli,
pull its. ears, and if he squeaks it's
le, and If she squeaks it's she.'' And
1hile the idle people hoarsely laughed |