The Washington critic., 1886-06-07
GENERAL AND CRIrICULaR

GENERAL AND CEITICtLAR
Mr.. Crisp, NJ. c. from Georgia; Mr..
Springer, NJ q. from Illinois, and Mr.. Hol-
man, NJ. G. from Indiana, are all good,
pious Democrats, but the way they tore up
the floor Saturday the casual observer was
forced to conclude that one was Republ-
can, one Mugwump and one Democrat;
and, worst Of all, 1t was impossible to say
which was which, Let dogs delight TO bark
and bite, for'tis their nature to, but little
Congressman were never made TO scratch
each others eyes out-wlth their tongues.
A Texan has sent barrel OF -four TO
"Grover Cleveland, Washington, ID. CO..
The Texan is evidently not aware that the
gentleman named has changed his postolllce
address to Deer Park, Md.
From way up in Michigan Mrs. Belva
Ann Lockwood sends her congratulations
to the President and his bride. In view OF
the fact that Mr.. Cleveland defeated Mrs.
Lockwood in the last Presidential election
this may be regarded as true magnanimity.
Sam Jones says that baseball is another
name for sheol. Sam must have seen the
Nationals and The Bostons trying to make
record.
Comptroller Durham has decided that the
claim Of the heirs of John Yesterday for the
payment of warrant dated February 2j
17Sl, is barred by the statute of limitations.
Judge Durham evidently regarded this
claim us yesterdays chestnut.
We move that June be declared legal
holiday, and that all weddings solemnized
on that day be Officially recorded in the Ma
tonal archives and that, further, all widows
Of such marriages be entitled to a pension
Of $25 per month and all widowers be eligi-
BILE to appointive Offices without connrma-
tlon by the Senate, and that each child born
Of such marriages be given new, crisp
800 four per cent. bond Ito be called the
Marriage Bond), to be held in trust with
accrued interest until it shall have arrived
at the age of 81 years. This act to 90 into
effect on its passage and not to apply to any
June previous to 1887.
Buffalo finds some consolation in the
thought that If this had been the season for
Buffalo robes Mrs. Cleveland's trousseau
might not have come from Paris.
Those Chicago women who stopped the
train as 1t was supposed by massing them.
selves and their babies on the track did
nothing of the sort. They simply put their
foot down on it. A Chicago woman's foot
is great institution.
We observe by careful perusal Of the lat
est dispatches from Deer Park that the Presl.
dent put crisp, new bank note in the mis-
sionary box at church Sunday. lie also, We
learned previously, put "crlsp, new''
bank note in DIR. Sunderland's hand for q
fee. 1t looks little like the President had
his wedding money made at the same time
he had his wedding clothes made.
"Ive jist been readin' sermon on Mo.
nopoly and Communeism,' delivered yes
terday in Brooklyn by Parson Talmidge,' u
remarked Jedge Waxem this morning, san
self, Thar's splashin' an dashin ol
Hell-fer-sarten during fresh in 1t, an
thar's circus-bill eloquence peryadn' ol
it that would stir the Wayback heart from
Genesis to Revolutions. Iwonder why tn,
Parson don't run fer Congress"
The Cincinnati Tmcs-Star refers to al
this wedding gush as Folsomania. How
about Grover being Folsomaniac?
Rev. VIM. NJ. Cleveland, the Presldent'i
brother, preached at the New York Avenue
Church yesterday morning. As his brother
in politics, is civil-serylce reformer, he is
in religion, divine service reformer, ant
he preached an excellent sermon in twenty
five minutes. Example is greater than pre-
cept.
Deer Park isn't anything to Chicago
man. Dear Pork interests him far more.