The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1886-04-09
Uuole Pete Called Into Ranks.

Mr.. EDITOR: Has Uncle Pete fallen off the
fence yeti 1 shall feel uneasy till hear, for
when last heard from he was outside ofa fence,
dangerously high for the old man-the fence
between Uncle 81, Uncle Sam, aai Uncle Pete
writes so like a demagogue that am pursuaded
he is only looking out for the most numerous
side to fall On. Until he finds it he will have q
kind and, as Uncle 81 would put il, can e1ou-
sim heart for both sides. But when Uncle
Pete takes his pen to write on the issue be-
tween the people and the red and white wine
party, he loses his heart bit and just wades
into the devul, dogs, and that old "wommun,"
who has been dead issue since the days of
Solomon.
But his kindness Of heart will come out o lit
tie, and so he comforts those who get drunk on
unlicensed whisky, by laying the blame on the
cole devul." They "hain't half as much to
blame as.the devul' for their meanness Ia Un-
Gle Pete.
Uncle Pete throws the other leg over the
fence and shows his co;ors fairly in his para
graph on bar-keepers; and, as Uncle 81 would
say "you can see who he is agin now. He is
"agin" the "devul end dogs, and an old wom-
mum" who lived in the days of Solomon. The
devil and dogs and the old woman are con-
venient scape-goats-they are disfranchised.
Any abuse heapei on them won't hurt So
Uncle Pete gives them hail Columbia 1t re-
pious and liberal church. Said church caused
one of its officers to follow the new preacher
to the pulpit and say to him, that it was hoped
he would not say anything about the Baptists,
or Methodists, or Presbyterians, or Catholics,
Is there were some Of each Of these sects in the
house, but rs there were no Jews around he
could give them fits. Uncle Pete defends the
bar-keepers and almost comes down from the
fence in that defence. But his defence is not
new or ingenious. 1t is the old, old argument
of the bar-keepers ave don't 60 and per-
suade men to come in and drink And Unoe
Pete says "barkeepers hain't nothin like the
devul; y they "don't 60 and persuade people
to drink" They only "sets EN- up" And
besides, he makes them pay ten cents for 1t.
No, bar-keepers 'hain't half as bad as the
devul," for he gave Eve an apple just for moth
ing, and he begged her to take it. No, bar
keepers "hain't half' rs mean Us the devil, for
tucy JUST WntCu auu wait, ike snakes Tor their
prey, and when the poor victim comes along
they only "sets EN- up and makes them pay
for it. The difference seeming to be that the
devil is the more liberal of the two. And the
bar-keeper is not half such q devil as the devil,
for the reason that the bar-keeper charges ten
cents lesson for teaching the way to drunk
ards hell. while the devil don't charge o conti-
mental. (Buily for the deUii, ought to come in
just here if only had Bill Arp's "cussin" man
here to write the words for me.) Well, stewine
thething down, it amounts to this: That the
bar.keepcr is not half rs mean as the devil for
he charges ten cents for what the devil does for
nothing.
Mr. Editor, submit that Unole Pete ISLANDERS
the devil, when he makes the bar-keeper out
devil the devil. Uncle Pete, don I abuse your
old dog, and your old friend from Halifax, and
your old woman from Jerusalem in the days of
Solomon, anymore. Say something about the
question at issue What we are after to the
death is this law-defyiDg, God-hated white and
red wine business. Are you for or against7
Show your colors, hoist your fiag, give the
countersign, or stand from under.
UNCLE BILLY.