davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
Tho Vafo Tsausf Work.

"Daniel," said the President, as he
looked up from an official paper he
had found on his desk.
"Yes, sire," responded the secre-
tary, with some trepidation.
ssWhat is this?"
sit is bill, sire, for some articles
Mrs. C. has been purchasing"
"Um-um," hesitated the President
sis it? Well, it's the first thing or
the kind that has ever come before
my notice.
"Yes. sire" said Daniel, because
he had nothing else to say just then.
Then the hard look came into the
Presidents face again, and his voice
was cold.
"Daniel," he said, laying the bill
down in front of him.
"Yes, SIRE"
"Where is my veto:'
"Your wife has it, sire"
"Um-um. Daniel, will you b
kind enough to gil mp check for tn
amount?''
And Daniel took the bill.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
Our Reliance.

Do not rely upon others for suc-
cess, but rather rely upon yourself.
A young man must chiefly be depend
ent ON his own labor for subsistence.
1t is found by all men Of experience
that, in SO far as one trusts to his
own exertions solely, he will bs apt
to flourish and in so far as be leans
and depends upon others, he will be
the reverse. Nothing can give 20
good general assurance Of well-do-
ing as the personal activity Of the In
dividual, day by day exerted. II .
man, on the contrary. suddenly fndA
in the midst Of such a career, q pros
pect of some patronage which seems
likely to enrich him at once, or II he
falls into the heritage Of some anti
quated claims to property, it 10 ten TO
one that he declines from that mo-
ment, and is finally ruined. The
only true way.to make happy pro
gress through this world is to 60 on
in determined, persevering pursuit
of one good object, neither turning
to the right nor to the left, making
our business as much as possible our
pleasure, and not permitting our
selves to awake from our dream oi
activity till we suddenly find our
selves at the goal of our wishes, with
fortune within our grasp.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
The BuliirOg's Victory.

One of the best of Sam Small's war
stories is this: "When things we're
hot around Atlanta, Captain Evan
Howell received an order to recon
noiter across the Chattahoochee river
and ascertain if the federal troops
had retired. The night was black as
ink. He read the order to his men,
but was surprised to find them all
disqualified fer the risky job. One
couldn't swim, another had rheuma-
tism, still another always took cramps
in the water, and so it went down the
whole line. But the order had to be
obeyed, so Howell plunged into the
river and made for the other side.
He was remarkably good swim
mer and felt. sure he was making no
noise, yet he became SO frighted that
each stroke seemedto him to arouse
the whole federal camp. Now and
then lightning bug appeared, and
confident that it was Yankee musket
he dueked under water. BY and BY
he got so near the shore that h'
could wade, and he was creeping
along IS cautiously as possible, hi
teeth chattering with fear, when Of |
sudden he struck against an old tre'
that had fallen into the river. jus
then huge bullfrog gave sonorou
blurt and jumped into the river. Tn
able to retain his self-possessio
longer, Howell threw up both hand
and yelled in terror: Il surrender
surrender When he finally reacl
ed the camp not Yankee could b
seen, but a smouldering fire gav
evidence that they had recently d'
4 camred -
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
The Great West Leads the World.

I was Fort Keogh one summer
not long ago, when an explosion oc-
Cured in the boiler which blew it
some distance from the fort into
swamp. The men started after it.
When they got there the mosquitoes
we're so thick that it was impossible
to work. The men got inside the
boiler, and the mosquitoes punched
their stingers right through the plat
ed iron. The men clinched the bills
on the inside and kept on clinching
them until hundreds and hundreds
of mosquitoes we're fastened to the
boiler. The men built fire inside
of the boiler to scare off the other
mosquitoes, and the latter started to
fly away.
"Of course those that were fasten'
edtried to fly with the rest,and actual
ly carried the heavy boiler and the
men out of the swamp and on TO thu
dry land. After that it was no tricl
to haul the boiler into the fort. How
did they get rid of the mosquitoes
bills? Why, they just filed them OF
close and left them there"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
He Silent With the Window.

"You notice that l have a bad
cold," said the st. Louis travelling
man; 'snow I'll bet the cigars that
not one of you boys can guess how 1
caught It,"
Riding next to an open window"
said one.
SIN sleeping car berth, }" ventur-
ed another.
"Sprinkling the lawn with slippers
on" suggested third.
There were dozens of guesses, but
not one of them, the man with the
cold declared, covered the case.
s'All give it up?" he inquired, and
all replied in the affirmative. ''Then
I'll tell you," he added. "You all
remember how warm it was last
night. Well, / went to sleep. with
the window of my bedroom raised
about three feet"
"That won't do" his listeners re-
Piled in chorus; "that's too thin. Nc
man could catch cold sleeping with
window up such a warm night as
last night. That's too thin"
Just wait minute and see" re-
ioined the man with the cold, paus
ing to use his handkerchief. at wal
warm night, 1 admit, and nj
healthy man should take cold sleep
ing with a window up; but / slep
on the outside of the window. Th'
fact is had been out with the boy
and came in pretty late and yer.
tired. just as 1 was getting read
to jump into bed fell out OF tn
window and slept the rest OF b
night ON the roof of the porch: Eve
then would probably have been q
right If the gardener hadn't seen NJ
about the middle of the forenoon an
wakened me by turning the hose o
me. Thunder and lightning, but
have got bad cold"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
What Parents.

Many persons-especiaily pirents
object to many quack nostrums as
likely to engender or encourage a
love for strong drink. They are
right. Better die OF disease than OF
drunkenness. The use of Parker's E
Tonic does not involve this danger.
1t not only builds up the system,
curing all ailments Of the stomach,
liver and kidneys, but it stimulates
without Intoxicating and absolutely
cures the appetite for liquor.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
nurhln Mard,s Bluntness.

The late Durbin Ward, says the
New York Star, was the soul Of hon-
esty. He would not even be q party
to polite Discrimination. On one oc-
casiou, when he was a candidate for
United States Senator from Ohio, one
Of his supporters asked him to be In
troduced to an obnoxious legislator
whose vote was desirable.
Il don't want TO know him." said
the old man.
"But all you've got TO do is 10 say
you're glad 10 see him"
"But, d--n It, sir, I'm not glad TO
sec him." and the old man lost the
election.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
Nh, visible without A Microscope.

A couple Of visitors from rural
district in the House gallery were
trying to pick out their congressman
on the floor.
II can't distinguish him, said one
after hopeless visual observation.
"Of course not" was the honest
reply; "he can't even distinguish
himself"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
How To Keep Sober.

81
A Bridesbnrg man has just com-
pleted an invention that ought to
make him richfor the balance OF his
life.
ssThe idea struck me about six
months ago." he said yesterday. "Of
course you know that the sensation
of getting drunk is delightful"
Sum, we'll"
t.And that SOLDERING up is torment" !"
he went on without needing the in
terruption. .Now, my little inven-
ton will give you chance to in
dulge in the luxury without any OF
the heretofore existing evil effects.
Don't see it, eh? Well, I'll explain.
It's galvanie battery" and he wait
ed for an outburst of admiration.
"But wouldn't valerian-"
"Of course it wouldn't. You dem
resort to valerian until next day
when your nerves are all unstrung
Let me make my little arrangement
clear to you. You want to have |
good time. Gimme your hat. All
now, we take out the sweat band
See this chain of alternate zinc ant
copper plates tapping over eac'
other! You'll notice that a fine sprin.
keeps each plate from the other tina
laps over I'll tell you what tn
, springs are for in a minute. W
substitute the chain of plates for tn
( sweat-band. Now put on the ha
8 Pleasant sensation, isn't it? That
e the galvanie current you feel"
q "Well?"
t SGood gracious. can'f you see th
point yet? That current clears th
;. brain while you're trying to g
q drunk. You can't out-drink the e
t feet of that current, for as soon
" your head begins to swell it press
q the springs, bringing the plates close
:. together, and a greater current, su
# ficient to reduce the swelling, is &c
x Grated. It's a great thing, l tell yo
, No man ought to be without one. .
a soon as 1 get it patented I'll put it
h the market. There a fortune in
l. Hele, I'll make you present of I'll
s. one. Put it in your hat and lie
take a drink"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
George washlngten as : Junpsr

When Washington was q young
man, in travelling along the upper
Potomac, he stopped at an inn one
aey and inquired the news. The
landlord told him the sensation Of
the day was a jumping match for .
wife on the estate of one Of the rich
est planters near by. On being told
that it was open toall comers. WASH
ington started for the place and ar.
rived there just as the jumping was
completed. He noticed that the
young lady in question was highly
pleased with the successful jumping
of one of the competitors, who had
out-distanced all the others. At the
close, Washington asked il be might
try his chances. He was told to 20
ahead, and he made by far the best
jump Of the day. As he returned to
the crowd he noticed that the young
lady's face had fallen, and he went
up to her and remarked: "You
would havs preferred / had not beer
the one 6 excel the others?n TIE
young lady candidly said this was 90.
''Then," said Washington, Il give
my chance to him." and returned a.
unknown as he came. Toward the
close of the Revolution this young
lady, then the wife Of q colo
mel of militia, met Washington and
telling her husband that she had mel
him before, he doubted the fact, and
the two went to Washington to de
eide it. 'Yes," replied Genera
Washington, II saw your wife at III,
, jumping match before she was mar
| ried, and / believe i won her"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

The only western states that now
report favorable prospects for good
average crop of wheat are Missouri,
Kentucky, Tennessee and possibly
Indiana and Ohio. Damaging re-
ports come from many portions OF
Illinois, occasioned by the ravages
of chinch bugs. The late estimates
from Kansas do not show over half q
crop. In Minnesota spring wheat
has been greatly damaged by late
heavy rains, while in Dakota drouth
is prevailing that threatens to ms
terially decrease the average yield.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
A stricken Journalist.

A recent issue of the Texas from
bone contains touching tribute to
the memory Of Mrs. Spinner, the |
talented wife Of tlae editor. He says
feelingly:
Thus my wife died. No more viii
those loving hands pull off my boots
and part my back hair as only true
wife can. Nor will those willing feet
replenish the coal shed OF water
pail. No more will she arise amid
the tempestuous storm Of winter and
HE away to build the fire without
disturbing the slumbers Of the man
lwho dotted on her so artlessly. Her
memory is embalmed in my heart of
hearts. 1 wanted to embalm her
body, but / found that l could en-
] balm her memory cheaper.
! Il procured of Eli Midget, a neigh
! Dor of mine, very pretty grayestone.
His wife was consumptiye and he
keptat on hand fox several years in
anticipation of her death; but she
rallied last spring and his hopes were
blasted. Never will I forget the
poor mans grief when l asked him
to part with it.
Take it, Spinner, and may yor
, never know what it is to have you
soul disappointed as mine has been
, and he burst into flood of tears
, His spirit was indeed utterly broken
I had the following epitaph en-
graved upon the tombstone:
To the memory of Tabitha, wife G
Moses Spinner, Esq, the gentleman
E ly editor of the Trombone. Terms
. three dollars year in advance. /.
t kind mother and an exemplary wifi
: Office over Coleman's grocery, u
S two flights of stairs. Knock hart
s We shall miss thee. Job printin
r solicited
: Thus did my lacerated spirit CT
l. out in agony, even as Rachel, wee
/. ing for her children. But one ray
IS light penetrated the despair OF n
IN soul. The undertaken took his p
t. in job printing, and the sexton ow
is me little account / should not ha
Is gotten any other way. Why shou
we pine at the mysterious ways
Providence and vicinity? (Not
Icapupdruml
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
Poor old Martin Irons made a last

Poor old Martin Irons made last
desperate effort to get before the
people again but utterly failed. He
had consuming desire to pose
before the public, and enlighten the
people of Kansas City about the late
strike by way of lecture, but no
body would go to hear him. Six
tickets only were sold for the lee
ture. and Martin subsidies into OBJ
scurity once more.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
C,rRp rOa PILES.

Piles arc frequently preceded by .
sense Of weight In the back, iossss
and lower part of the abdomen, caus-
ing the paiient To suppose me has some
affection Of The kidneys or ncigitoHs
ing organs. At times, symptoms OF
Indigestion are present, as fiatuiency.
uneasincss Of the stomach, etc. a
moisture, like perspiratien, prodn-
cling very disagreeablc itching al
ter getting warm, is very common
attendant. Blind, Bleeding, and
Itching Piles yield at once 70 the
application OF DIR. Bosanko's Pile
Remedy which acts directly upon the
parts affected, absorbing the Tumoss.
alIaying the Intense itching, and ailsc- &C.
ding c permanent cure. Price ffty
cents. Address, he DE- Bosanko
| Medical Co., Piqna, Ohio. Sold oy
Dobyns & Gibbs. zs-iy
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

1t is rumored that Col. Jake Child
is not satisfied with the Siam mission,
or rather that his wife is disgusted
with the costumes and customs OF
the Siames ladies and gentlemen, and
would prefer her old Missouri home
where the people wear clothes and
are not so fresh and familiar in their
manners.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
KEYNOTE to Health.

Health is wealth. Wealth means
independence. The keynote Is DIR.
Bosanko's Cough and Lung Syrup,
the best cough syrup ia the world.
cures coughs. colds, parns in the
chest. Bronchitis and Primary con-
sumption. Ono does gives relief in
every case. Take no other. Price
so cents and 81. Samples free. Sold
by Dobyns & Gibbs. eow-ly
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

OF all the nominations made In
Missouri for the Legislature, every
one has been Cockrell man, except
in Vernon county, and the Demo
cratic Convention instructed him to
cast his vote for Cockrell, and he
saws he will obey the instructions.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

According TO Secretary McGrath' S
table of delegates to which each
county will be entitled in the state
convention the whole number Of del
egates will be 7S5, the largest state
convention by far ever
held in the state by any party at any
time in the history of the politics Of
Micsouri
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

A petition is being signed in Ari-
IONA which requests that the Apaches
be removed. The settlers say that
the reservations have always been a
source of trouble and bad blood in
their Territory, and that something
will have to be done.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Tammany Hall will be led by
Richard Croaker in the future. The
leader, John Kelly, having passed
away, left his high and honorable po-
sition to he filed by genuine
"Croaker.' Croaker is said to pe a
man who will make friends, and
when once made they will never de-
sert him.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

sDan Lamont's coachman wears a
SLOUGH hat" says Chicago paper.
Yes. and Mr.. Cleveland's hostler goes
to sleep quite frequently, and Mr..
Blaine's cook has teeth, and the sun
shines on a bright day, and some
American papers do not know news
from nonsense.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Secretary Manning rendered his
resignation last week but President
Cleveland refused to consider it until
October, with the hope that after a
rest his health will be sufficiently re-
stored to justify his continuation in
office
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Senator Vest is opposed to the
oleomargarine bill. He says it Is
class legislation, protecting one in
dustry at the expense of another; /;
besides he does not believe in the
right of congress to legislate on the
subject. 1t is proper matter for
state legislation only. Senator Vest
takes the correct view of the matter
according to our idea.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
Took Him for a Minister.

B. B. Ruukle, the distinguished
looking foreman of the Mexico LED
GER, came up on Thursday to attend
the picnic north of here. He was
sized up as one of the preachers at
tending the Bible Institute, until
found in the company of John Nc
Mahon. That settled it.--Centraiia
Guard.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

sThe best on earth" is truly said
of Griggs' Glycerine Salse--a speedy
cure for cuts, bruises, scaids, burns,
sores, piles, letter, and all SKIN erup-
tions. Try this wonder healer. 25e.
Guaranteed.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
. leading citizen of Haperstow

A leading citizen Of Hagerstowp,
Md, Mr.. George W. Harris, had
suffered fof some time with facial
neuralgia and toothache, when be
tried st. Jacobs Oil He says; "it
gave me instantaneous relief, and l
consider it wonderful remedy"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
She Wear, a Hlgh Neck New.

II do love dress" exclaimed
young society belle. Then should
think YOU would wear more OF 1t"
replied q cynical bachelor.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Several papers have stated that the
basis of representation for delegates
to the state convention is on the
Hancock vote. The official call bases
It on the vote for Cleveland.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
A Reliable Article.

For enterprise, push and a desire
to get such goods as will give The
trade satisfaction. Dobyns & Gibbs
the druggists, leads all competition.
They sell DIR. Bosanko's Cough and
Lung Syrup, because its the best
medicine on the market for coughs,
colds, Group and primary consump-
ton. Price so cents and Slo0
Samples free. eow-ly
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

DIR. Sunderland left the wOrd"obey'
out of the ceremony when he united
the president and Miss Frankie
knowing full well that Grover would
obey her ANYWAY
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
A skele,on was unearthed In

A skeleton was unearthed IN Kan
sas recently which had one cent
piece clincbed in his hand. Some
wicked and uncharitable paper has
since remarked that it was probably
the remains of a newspaper publisher
who tried to take his wealth along
with him.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Dsngerl A neglected cough or
cold NAV lead 10 pneumonia, con-
Sumption or other fatal diseases.
ssrong's pectorsl Pills will cure .
eold as by magic. Best thing ior
dyspepsia, Indigestion. sick hssd-
ache as thousands testify. os
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

The Ohio Democratic State Con-
vention is to be held at Toledo, on
the 18th of August, the same date
fixed for holding our convention.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Prominent Missouri Masons have
incorporated an association for the
purpose of providing homes for in
digent and decrepit MasOns.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24
MARTINSBURG.
A Town Full OF Energy and Enterprise,
Whose Citizens are Always to the
Front-Bright Prospects.
Correspondence of the Ledger.

Of the Ledger.
MARTINsnuRG, Mo, June 2l.--For
a long time some people thought and
said that innocuous iesuetude had
settled down upon Martinsburg, but
if those 'self-appointed croakers could
see us to-day they would so off and
drown themselves. 1t seems that
within the last few months u new
life has been breathed into our in
dustries and enterprises and we are
full of vigor and push. The broad
tracts of land around Msrtinsburg
are settled by thrifty and progressive
farmers, who leave nothing undone
that tends to develop and advance
the interest of the community, and to
their efforts, as much as anything
else, we are indebted for the state of
prosperity which we are now enjoy
/ mo
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Farmers, don't be deceived. The
Buckeye machines are unexceileo.
DIESEL & Fields are agents. Tot
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

The democrats carried the recent
State election in Oregon, which is
very discouraging to our Republican
friends.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

The Louisiana Legislature has
passed bill making ten hours legal
DAYS work. 1t, however, excepts
farm iaborers.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Mrs. Cleveland takes champagne
when she wants to. And she amt
from Kentucky, either.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

Saline elects it's Congressional del
egates by delegated convention on
the I'd of August.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-06-24

manners.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-06-12
MONTANA LETTER.

EDITOR INTELLIG GENCER:-Sinc nv
return to the far west l have received
many letters OF inquiry from acquaint-
ances in the states, and for the benefit
of those anxious TO know of Montana's
greatness, they will find, occasionally,
letter in this paper giving general in
formation OF this inter-mouutain re-
gion.
Montana is destined to become one
of the most wealthy and attractive
states of the American Union. Its
LOCATION
Is the finest in the world. 1t is in the
very heart of the Rocky Mountains:
the main range extends from the north
west, giving it the mild belt on the
east OF between fifty aud one hundred
miles east of the range, while the
western slope has tempered climate
from the mild
CHINOOK,
which is warm breeze from the Japan
current which meets the Arctic current
of the coast near Puget Sound.
ITS LATITUDE
Is the same as that of Northern Italy.
the Republic cofSwitZerland and Baden.
countries noted for health. The south
ern portion is crossed by the fortv-fifth
parallel, and is exactly midway be-
tween the equator and the poles. In
1t Is more than twice that of Missouri.
and is more varied in its agronomy
1t contains 1876 square miles. its
greatest length being $40 miles, and
width 305 miles. Ii is twice as larue
as all the six New England States, Or
larger than Great Britain and Ireland.
Its longitude is from lO4 to Ia degrees.
The northern limit is that of the British
being 40 degrees and
bounds on the three British Provinces