Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-08
BRIGHT BITS.

JOHNNY says he IS his mO'her's canoe, and
she Is always able to paddle lt.-Aerchd1tt
Trageier.
You can never depend upon proverbs. One
says, silence is golden; anOther, money
talks. '-Bost1n C0ae uercjOI.
''IT IS best to let the light tail from above
over the left shoulder" il q piece OF advice
with regard 70 caring for the eyes. The
writer IS probably correct. The light once
fell from above over our right shoulder, and
nearly fractured lt.-TeoIs S,rtjnQs.
CRsAa'5 GREAT Observation-Disclosures
Wasn't Julius Crs3r one Of tue strongest men
that ever lived. Fds
Father-W has makes you ask that question
Daughter | was inst reading that he threw
bridge over the Rhine.-Ter,S SUtin1S,
MISTRESS of the house to girl applying for
posluonl-I suppose you have good refer
ences?
Servant-Indeed have, ma'am. was in
my last place three years, and they gave me Il
time allowance OF nine months for good beha
vlor.-PUch.
HER PASSION REvEALED..-She-And won't
yon be able to come to my graduation, Mr..
Ruskln?
lie / am afraid not, Miss Rose I viii
either come myself or send some flowers
she-Ah, that is very kind of you; l do so
love 1OWers.-IidbitS.
AT THE CONCERT.-Musical Enthusiast to
Eminent Physican-Is it not beautiful, the
way hat variation subsidies into the dominant
tome?
Eminent Thysician-Tonic, do you call it 4!
Now, had vCu said il was a narcotic / should
have been less surprlsed.-Judy.
PLEASANT FOR THE ER-HoUsEHoLD. -
D0ctOr-AbOv all, EO twice cooked meat.
never allO-g any 1T ny table. Its fatal; |ltdE,
sir! So is cold meat.
Patient-But, then, what do you do with all
your cold meat?
DOctor-Oh. tle-er-children, and-er--
household eat it up.-JudV.
BUTToNs-Letter, sir. Bearer wants a
answer.
Mr.. Bumptious Bloward (who has got
on'l-Don't speak like that, you dreadful boy !
Iou never hear me say "a answer"
Buttons-No, sir; you puts hatch in, sir.
,Tain't YOUR fault, sir; there weren't no school
board when you was boy, sir. (Sacked.l-
fun.
''HOOP-LAr' shodted Mott street China
man, 'burnee, shootee police knock 'em outee,
Ialse hellee alice same"
Here, john interrupted a policeman,
whats up"
"Me no Chinamau. Me analchlst, Socialist,
Molmon, immigrant. Cinnamon have to go.
Analchlsi and M0l1oa Immigrant stay alice
samee Melllcan man; have ten wifee,
shOotee poicee, HOOp-ls, thlow bomb shellee,
klllee, Hoop ."-Ne1o York Paper.
THAT'S GOOD, TOO. IN SOME CAsEs.-An
Englishman, just from the old country, was
alklng with a fashionable young Texan, and
during the conversation the latter remarked
JnaI MS uncle was very low with pneumonia,
and he thought the old boy would have to
kick the bucket. ''Kick the bucket, and will
that do the poor man any good?' exclaimed
the son OF Albion, his eyes assuming the size
and shape Of saucers. "We have pneumonia
in Hengland, We know, but we Railways call
IN medical man. ''-TeoaS Siftings.
He hadn't attended divine services for a
long time and when they reached the church
he attempted to enter by the side door.
"What are you doing, john" inquired his
wife, ''thAt is the side door"
"Certainly," he replied, ITS Sunday, ism t
it? The front door is looked and-oh-" sud -
denly interrupting hmself-'oh, of course,
certainly, what am thinking about? | was
under the impressi IN that-that--"
''oh. that's enough" said his wife, and
then she led him into the church. Temperance
AdU0cdto.
A GOOD theoretical knowledge of any sell
! ence forms an excellent basis for practical
| experiment, aud for the benefit of the lawn
/ tennis novice the 4. c. will publish frag-
ment Of tennis talk which fell fro the lips OF
/ a fair san Francisco maiden in the California
/ street cars recently. The peculiar expressions
I are, doubtless, strictly technical terms. rs
! cOrt--"l on came of with most of the spois.
1 Miss Lima Miss Llna--"Hou be- i entoved
that. TOO. right up to the handle, for / Cleaned
/ out that CIR who had made np her mind to
/ spoil my sweep. | knocked the stutting out OF
! her ittlc aspirations in about two rounds
/ she'll never try that racket with me again.
/ You can just bet she knows now that II
don't pay worth a cent."--SR Francisco
/ Nei0s- Letter.