Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-03-04
JACK.
His Account of Himself and HIS Opinioo
of Cats, Etc.

of Cats, Etc.
lam dog Please note that l 90
not say "only dog" No, indeed. (!
leave such remarks for the haiI-sea.seo
black-and-tan terrier that sometimes
comes to play with me.
WHY should I say itP l am hno
bird-dog, worth considerable, have
been stolen, and, in fact, have had
| great MANY adventures because OF my
value. Then / am handsome. lou
needn't think because l tell IL tnat
am vain. No, I am only honest enough
| to say outright what you human Delngs
| all think. Else why do you I'LL your
house with mirrors, look at yourselve5
SO much, then say: "Oh, whenever
see any thing homely l Just shut my
eyes and look at the clouds.
T also ike cats. At least, / like our
cat. But what is he good forP He is
So law and aristocratic. All he does is
to come down to breakfast somewhere
between eleven and twelve, then ne
goes back upstairs again and sleeps ali
| the afternoon; takes his tea when the
miIkman comes, and as he is gone till
two or three in the morning, suppose
attends-or possibly helps glve-the
nightly concerts that occur IN our
mel ghborhood.
Oh! how I do love to bark at those
cats. But about nine my mistress says:
Jack, Jack! It's time to come IN.
and as | can't climb tree and craWlln
by the back window, as the cat does,
have to obey.
not only like to bark at cats, but at
people. But much as you people think
you know, you do not seem to be aware
that l have different kinds of barks-
Some are respectful; others-well, you
should just hear me bark at the
| '.preps" or the little boys that laugh
and throw stones at me. l should like
to bite some of them, but they are so
very dirty, often, that l don't, and
then l am a deacOn's dog and 1t
wouldn't look well.
When q college professor goes by L
bark, but it is only to show how much
admire his plug hat and respect his
learning.
I do not like the "sophs." They
think they know more than they do.
But they are really pretty good judges
of the dainty little canes they swing so
iauntily, and their smiles are irresist-
ible-to the girls. However, there is'
one of them l don't hate. Because
last spring term there was young
lady coming to our house that this
''soph" was quite devoted to. SO one
day lust before she came he went by,
saw me in the yard. called me to him
and petted me. He even did not scold
when l put my dirty paws on his
clothes simply to show how honored
felt at his noticing me. l suppose he
was afraid I might bark too loudly
some evening when he came to call.
am afraid you will begin to think
spend all my time philosophfzing, butt
don't. No, L am a true American, and
1 work occasionally-when can help
it. My little master has taught me
how to draw a sled or wagon. He
helps in his fathers store, and when
they are very busy we help deliver
goods.
They harnessed me up the other day
to draw a load. The weather was hot:
/ was tired, my master was cross, and
I wanted to stay in the shade and eat
flies instead of working. Finally
trotted off, had the wagon emptied,
turned toward home and then stopped
l wanted to ride. / couldn' see why a
dog shouldn't ride sometimes as well
as a boy. So l stopped. Well, at last
my master comprehended what want
ed, embarrassed me, told me to get in
and drew nae to the store. Oh! | rode
down in fine style; my head up, my
tail flying and my horse making good
time.
The next day it was hot again; SO
when it was time to go to the store 1
went out in the backyard and lay I'M
der an apple-tree till they were gone.
Then came around in front, scratched
up lot of good-for-nothing pansies
that grew in the incest, shadiest place
in the whole yard. oh! had good
| time then. The dirt was SO soft and
cool, the flies had not found me, and
was thinking Of how pleasant it was to
| live, when the owner of the fiower-bel
came out. started, but not quick
enough. for she boxed my ears and
scolded me awfully. And now they
have put back the old pansies and stuck
| lot of horrid little sticks in the bed
that l can neither scratch up nor lie
d3wn on What do they want of those
pansies, anyhow They can't draw q
However, l don t always do that either,
in the front room when | was down.
stairs in a back room, and yet in the
morning they said: "Where was
JackP" Now, you see, if they would
only let me stop out nights as l want
to, T would have seen the man and
kept him away. Ny paw is getting
tired of writing, and as am only six
years old l think this is rather a long
letter for me to write. So / will 90 and
see whose yellow cat that was that Just
went in the barn. Ever yours,
I JACK CADY.
| N Y Tribune