The Washington critic., 1886-04-10
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

Senator Ingalls, introduced bill in the
Senate yesterday providing that no person
could own more than go acres Of land In
the United States. II was sent In by Kan
eas crank, who should be givea a warranty
deed to tract about seven feet long by
four wide and dug down In the middle.
The Democrats OF Indiana are looking for
somebody In their party upon whom to
place the mantle OF the late Thomas A.
Hendricks. II Mr.. Holman will agree not
to object to wearing secondhand clothing
1t may be rendered to him.
1t only costs dollar now to get mar
riage license In Maryland. This cheap style
OF marrying is n good deal like church
fair, where IL costs ten cents to get in and
everything you've got to get out.
The blood that was shed at East st. Louis
yesterday is given In evidence OF the won
derful power OF Congressional legislation in
settling labor troubles.
The buckwheat flour that blooms In the
cHiiuE huo hothlIB w uO With thS SunNo.
In this fishery question we desire to state
right here, on the authority OF the Goddess
Of Liberty and the two houses of Congress
assembled, that II Great Britain thinks we
are lot Of suckers she had better bait her
hook with that sort of bait and see what she
catches.
To the able and distinguished Senators
suffrage we recommend the following:
"Oh, woman, In our hours Of case,
Uncertain, coy and hard to please;
But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace"
II Billy Gladstone will come to New York
and run for alderman we can pledge him
the entire Irish vote.
A brilliant member OF the House Press
gallery pronounces Chaplain Milburn's
later prayers to be "inoffensiye.n
A large concourse of New Yorkers will
gather at the depot to throw rice and old
shoes when the street-car aldermen start on
their bridal tour to Sing Sing.
1t is pity they can't put some OF those
heavy silver speeches into the shortage dol
lar. Treatment Of that kind would bring
the weight up until man would have to
have block and tackle to lift dollar over
the fence.
A man living across the Eastern Branch
put chestnut burrs In an old hens nest
to keep her from sitting. The hen was a
persevering one, however, and scorned OBJ
stacles OF SO trivial n nature, and at the end
Of two weeks Matched out six Jokes on oleo-
margarine, ten on mothers.in-law, and five
Republican "Breakfast Table Letters to
the President" The owner declares 1t the
worst hatch Of chestnuts he ever saw.
A Member In silver speech slapped at
the national banks, and in loud voice ex-
claimed
"What is the difference between my note
and national bank note ?"
"You can buy something with the bank
note" Clipped in an opponent, before the
Texan could answer his own question.
Greece bids fair to become the oleomar-
garine of Europe.
Harvard has 1900 students. Let the Edu-
cational bill pass.
The average weekly income Of working
women In New York State is $2. 90. In the
rapid accumulation ofwealth lies the great
est danger to our free institutions.
John H. Sullivan hasn't been on q strike
| for week.
Three pounds OF nails were discovered
| recently in butchered Texas COW, and the
world is learning why they have to use a
| cold chisel and buzz saw to slice long.
horn roast.
| Speaking of the weather, did 1t occur to
| you that in the relation of the seasons to
each other that there was always a colduess
between autumn and spring.