The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-11-24
PITH AND POINT.

\
Home ru,e.-Wipe your feet before
you come in. ..
The first woman in the land-the first
woman who was born-,SJtings.
Lawyers dress pretty we'll, notwith-
standing the fact that they occasionally
lose suit. ...... -.
'T really believe my work is telling"
remarked the society eporter.-Burling-
ton Free Press.
".Mark my words" said the public
speaker, and the steuographer marked
them. m.-Boston Transcript.
1t is said that bees possess the power
of memory. So does the one that has
ever interferred with them.
Distance doesn't lend enchantment to
the view when you are looking at q
pretty girl.-Bost0n Courier. ..-
"What is celebrity, Johnnie2" 'Dunno;
guess it's something to put down hot
dishes with. ."-lSt. Paul HeraM.
The greatest drawback to painting the
town red is that some of the color sticks
to the painters nose.-Pdiladelphia 0att.
A man called at the home for little
wanderers in Boston the other day and
wanted to know if they admitted under
sized tramps. Burlington Free Press.
Who is rich2 And who is happy1
Who could be content with less'
Let us see-his name is-name is
Pshaw, we've lost the mans addressI
-Washington Critic, =
s'This way, gentlemen, to the American
dwarf, to be seen only through hum
dredfold magnifying glass; totally in
visible to the naked eye."-Ftiegends
BIaetter. .-.-s
He with view toward further ac-
ouaintance with owner: "What
pretty little dog! He wouldn't bite me,
would he?" She: "Oh, no, we give
salt food only."-Tid-Bits.
A physiologist says that emo mans
body is as strong as his appetite" This
explains why the pile of victuals tramp
can eat is bigger than the pile of wood
he can saw in a day.-Norristoon Her.
aid. &c..
"Well, what do you think of the new
neighbors who have moved in next door,
Mrs. Pryeri" Il haven't had chance
to form an opinion. They haven't had
washing hung out yet."-Boston
Courier.
Maternal instinct. Mamma Ito Lucy,
who has stumbled and smashed her dolls
head)-"Don't cry, my dear; it can't be
be helped" Luey-"Oh, mamma dearl
you don't know how I feel: you've never
lost o child. ."-Judge.
A distracted Boston spinster asks:
'sWhy are beaux 30 scarceP They are
not scarce. As q matter of fact, thera
are more beaux now than there ever
were. But they are wild because they
arc hunted SO much.-Brooktyn Eagle.
Sir John Lubbock has tanned wasp s.
that he strokes its back and allows it to
sit down on his hand. One of these days
Il will sit down hard and Sir John will
wish he had spent his time in some more
useful sort of observation-disclosures
Free Press.
It is hard to surprise some country
landlords. A Boston man had scarcely
registered the name of Christopher Col
umbus at a village tavern in Wisconsin
when the landlord reached out his paw
and exclaimed: "How are ye. Christ
Bin expectin' ye ever since the year
2w-Dstroit Free Press.
A small boy surprised his teacher at
one of the grammar schools yesterday by
asking her how far q procession OF the
aPtesidents of the United States would
reach if they were placed in row. 0n
her expressing her ignorance he calmly
announced: ':From Washington to Cleve-
land. ."-SwinafeM Republican,.
ONLY A BARBER.
The maidens saw him at the beach;
They thought hs was lord,
So handsome and so debonnalr-
By all he was adored.
He's shaving bearded chins again,
And also cutting hair,
While Ginning to his customers,
Behind the BARRIERS chair.
Boston Courier.