The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-26
70 A TOUGH BOY.


ID - IOO00 6Ov.
bryo Dead-Beats.
Young man. l have watched You
with unqualified admiration. The
first time 1 beheld you, l saw at .
glance that the aim and object of your
existence was to be q tough boy, and
you have since been my daily study.
and each day has added to my delight
in observing the rapid strides you are
making toward your high and emo
bling ideal.
/ am pleased at the martyr-like de-
votion with which you struggle with
the cigar at which your face pales,
your head reels and your stomach
trembles, but to which you adhere,
nevertheless, with more than Spar
tan firmness.
Again am l made happy at the fine.
manly instinct which leads YOU to
mingle choice slang and elegant pro-
family with your improving CONVERSE
81
whom you are naturally proud to have
as auditors, must wish that YOU were
their own offspring. or at least that
their boys could have the benefit of
your exemplary companionship.
l presume that You are up to the
taste of liquor also, for can not think
that one SO Enthusiastically and praise
worthily tough as you appear can have
neglected SO important an element Of
toughness as TO take drink now and
then, and possibly occasionally to get
tipsy. Of course YOU do not like the
taste of liquor. any more than you de-
light in the flavor of tobacco. l I'M
derstand that perfectly, and honor YOU
all the more because oi your self-de-
NAL. No worthy object can be
achieved without more or less of dis
comfort; and make sure that one day
YOU will be a great destroyer of to-
baccO and n competent drunkard.
Young man, the path which you
have marked out for yourself in life is
perhaps not without its rough and rug
ged places, but it is full Of promise for
yourself and for Others also.
The ruddy glow in your cheeks which
betrays your youth-Of which as
tough you are naturally ashamed-will
shortly turn to the livid hue which
Man. with capital NJ, and your elastic
step will after time materialize into
the elegant SLOUGH of the apotheosis of
the tough boy, the Dead Beat. Your
pearly teeth will long ere then have
turned to beautiful amber. or still
more beautiful jet, if. indeed, you have
not succeeded in casting them from
you as reminders of childhood, and
therefore unworthy of so transcendant
character as yourself.
In that happy day you will have risen
above the few weaknesses which yet
adhere to you. You will have over
come the foolish pride which causes you
to wash your face every day of your
life and which leads YOU to wear cloth
ing fashionable in cut and devoid of
tatters. You will also have risen above
the sordid ambition of securing a name
and place i'm the world. or of reaching
that station of affiuence of which in
your childish moments you still dream.
In word, you will have become the
perfect being. the butterfly of which
YOU are as yet q beg your pardon) but
the ugly grub.
And then the good you are destined
to accomplish! In few years you will
have SO far succeeded in demoralizing
your stomach. and racking your nerves,
and wearing out your heart. and, in
short, knocking out your entire physic-
nj system, that YOU will be the making
of the fortunes Of half a score of doc
tors; and should you succeed in finding
a young woman fool enough to marry
you. and should you have children. it
will be your proud satisfaction to know
that your greatness shall live after you.
and that your children. thanks to their
parents toughness. shall in their turn
greatly aid in making the medical pro-
fession profitable one so long-or,
rather, so shOrt-as they shall live.
Yes. young man. you are a noble
creature. Keep on in your glorious
career, and when your epitaph is writ
ten. a few years hence, let it consist
only of these simple but proud words:
He was a tough. ''-Boston Transcript.