The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
MRS. ROWSER,S TALE.
The Good Lady Tells of Her Experience
on Election Day and Night.

The Good Lady Tells of Her Experience
on Election Day and Night.
Know Bowser? He's my husband
Doesn't know enough to come in wheT
it rains. If he did he'd stay out and
get soaking wet just to oblige his polit
ical party.
Bowser is passably domestic and in
telligent except at election time. About
n week before the election he begins tC
act up. He saddles the party on his
back and begins to grow thin and pale
and nervous. His mind is filed with
majorities, straights, splits, slips, can
ards and candidates.
| give him Hail Columbia-I have
even kept him awake all ght talking
to him-but it does little or no good.
The old crank is figuring out net gain
of 1913 in the Fourth Precinct OF the
Sixth ward all the time I'm talking,
and when forced by exhaustion to stop
for moment, he looks at me with glis'
tening eyes, reaches out his paw and
yells:
"Whoop! shake tell you, we've
got emf
The closer it gets to election day the
more of an idiot he becomes. Strange
men come to the house, and he takes
them out into the alley for a whispered
conversation, during which they nod
and gesture and chuckle and shake
paws He is called out of bed to stand
on the front step and mutter and mum
BILE with strangers who may be mid
night assassins for all know. | wish
they were. wish they'd hit him with
a sand-bag and render him unconscious
until after election. He slips out night;
without asking my advice or consent
and along towards midnight, after
have got the whole police force looking
for him, he comes sneaking in and con
tidentialiy Whispers
"Say, Hammer, its all fixed to run
Bilker in the Seventh ward, and his
election assures us a grand victory al
along the linem
"You old IDIOT but what do | care
about Bilker or your grand victory" ]
yell at him.
Ssh! Don't talk so loud or the OPP
position will get on to our racket"
And the way he and the rest of 'em
write communications to the papers
signed "Pro Bono Publico," "Veritas, -
"Workngman" and Taxpayer is
perfectly awful I've known Bowser
to sit down and write whole ward OF
stuff, claiming to know exactly what
allied the country, and furnishing pO-
litical panacea for it, sign it Truth, .
and send it off to appear next morning
in print and scare half the country to
death. Bowser knows what ais the
country! Why, he doesn't know a
wart from q stone-bruise
1t is on election day that his vivid
foolishness glares like an electric light
He gets up half an hour earlier, gulp,
down hasty breakfast, and rushes of
to peddle tickets and challenge votes
and see to bringing out the full vote
He doesn't 60, though, before | have
said to him:
"Bowser, you are a flat-foCted idiot
You turn with crank! You ought tC
be turned out with kangaroos! You
-
"We'll make the majority two thou
sand all around and bury the Opposi
ton out of sight" he exclaims, looking
at me in such dreadful way that | fee
sh vers race up and down my spine.
At noon l hear that he has bet on
house and lot on his fayorite candi
date.
At three o'clock that he has beef
pounded all to Jelly.
At six that he has also bet his horse
COW, the baby and the cook-stOve OF
maioriteS.
At nine that he has offered to bet M
against a fifteen dollar overcoat.
At ten that he has gone to political
headquarters TO STAY a week, and tina
when some one asked after my healtl
he replied:
"Furs' rate-tuff's ole rhinosceros an
twice's ugly! 'Rah! fur Zheneral Zhack
sonm
At midnight | kick his Sunday plu,
hat across the floor, fling his slipper
out doors and smash his pipe and go t.
bed I'll settle with Mr.. Bowser whel
he comes home, and if blood is spill
the law must hold me blameless. A
noon next day he comes home in hack
hat smashed. pockets inside out, coat
tails torn Off and a fifty dollar suit o
clothes completely gone. His hat is OF
the back of his head, his eyes blood
shot, and beer stains all over his vest
arm myself to slaughter him, but h
begins to cry and protest;
"Shay, Hammer, 60 light on 'er fel
Ter! Hull ticket cot cleaned out b.
5000 majority, an I've come home e
dier'-Detr06 Free Press.