The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-09-04
A CAR ROMANCE.
A Hot Day, an Accident, and the
Result.

"Al-conquering heat, o intermit thy wrath,
And on my throbbing temples potent thus.
Beam not so fierce" -ThOmSOn's Seasons"
1t was warm summer afternoon.
The sun was sinking behind the tall
roofs and the shadows were falling full
halfway across the deserted street.
Not one of them appeared to be able to
stand up. They crawled, stretched out,
and in every way wrestled with the
stern decree of nature which makes
shadows always fall; but their only
progress was toward the limpid gutter
and the granite curbstone opposite.
One grizzlrd old man with a palm-leaf
fan, white sun-umbrella, a seersucker
wardrobe making the usual compile
ment, was the only person visible. He
lodged forward from house to house,
pausing where the shade was thickest
and driving ahead with reckless energy
where intervening spaces let the sun at
him. He had nobody to express his
opinion to, but he was apparently
slightly displeased with the weather.
AT the third corner from the place
where he was discovered by the gentle
reader, he sat down. A broad, cold
eXpanse of marble steps received him
and he uttered sigh of pleasure. Sud
denly he got up again. The servant
had been washing the steps and had
forgotten to dry them. With wild
despairing cry he was about to make
public the sentiment: Sheath, | am
undone, when the cheerful tinkle of
bell was heard. He turned and it
turned. 1t came round the corner and
moved full force toward him. Attached
to it was mule, and to the mule
street car. Two minutes later, any old
resident of Philadelphia standing near
this point of vantage would have adj
mitted that it was one of the palatial
vehicles of the Nineteenth street line.
He raised the signal of distress and
whistled to be taken on board, but for
moment his damp bandanna batfied
the breezes in vain. The driver evil
IDENTITY did not notice him; he had the
front door open and was talking po-
litcly-as is the habit of Philadelphia
street car drivers-but firmly to some
one inside the car. One or two pas
sengers were on their feet, and there
seemed to be a mutinv in progress.
The mule, which at first seemed to be
listening to the drivers remarks with
appreciation, turned away for a mo-
ment to aim his tail at fly, and caught
sight of the neglected fare. He hest
tated, waited for encouragement and
stopped. An old colored woman with
q market basket, who had been stand
ing near the back door trying to clutch
the bell-strap. shot out into the sun and
kissed the cobblestOnes very suddenly;
but there was no other visible damage,
and the old gentleman and his umbrella
climbed into the car
II.
"To marry wife, if we regard the truth,
is an evil; but it is necessary evil."-Men-
dnGer.
By sudden movement the mule
continued to stand still, and as it is
too hot to stand around with him,
readers who are interested may as well
come in off the hot bricks to the home
of Archibald McFadden. They will
find it more comfortable still, if
they make the time about eight a. M,
when Archibald rose from his tardy
breakfast. He had no coat on, and in
stead of a palm-leaf fan, he had fork
in his hand but they would need no
introduction to him, for he had al
ready been introduced, later in the
day, putting along the hot street, sit
ting on the wet steps and climbing into
the bob-tail car. He was through
breakfasting when he rose up, for
Archibald never left a good thing while
- loctaH hut ba
He held the waist-band of his trousers.
Two buttons had departed and his sus-
penders were left in the lurch. Gen
tlemen who have been unfortunate
enough to have led bachelors life,
and ladies who have heard them growl,
are aware that the loss of two buttons
on one side approaches the awful pro-
portions Of fatal accident. Two but
tons so distributed as to make one de-
parture on each side of the meridian
line are not of so much consequence,
for statistics show that 1888 out of
every | 900 bachelors live, move and
have their being in that perilous condi-
ton anyhow, But two on one side!
Ruin and dcsolaton There would be
at least three inches difference visible
to the public in the amount of striped
cashmere on duty at the ankles.
In this case, that three inches applied
directly to the ankles of Mr.. Archibald
McFadden, and with that piercing,
analytic insight into the deep
problems of human existence which
always characterized his mental nature,
he saw that some remedy must be APP
piled. He was even then--at the
moment the fair reader discovers him
ON the way to apply it. He had
mingled his last last cup of coffee with
cogitation on the subject, and had de-
termined to try nail. The fork in his