Smyrna times., 1886-06-02
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

Gossip in Washington is busy with
the suburban residence for the Presi-
dent
The man whose rule of life is policy
never knows the glow or the glory of
honest enthusiasm.
There are 10000 900 dozens of foreign
hens eggs brought into this country
every year free from duty.
Some of the Chicago Socialists who
have been bowling for eight hours will
probably get twenty years.
If we only had a Mount Etna in this
country what a splendid place it would
be into which to dump Anarchists.
As between the Socialists and cyclones
this country is unanimous for mad
dogs and blizzards.-PhiLadelphid Times.
Never take the bull bi the horns,
but take him bi the tale, then yu kan
let 90 when yu want tO.-JOsh Billings.
We hear nothing of a strike of bar
tenders, although thousands Of them
are working eighteen or twenty hours
a day.
Envelopes for social correspondence
are becoming larger. Many now have
an illuminated monogram or crest on
the flap.
''This is what I call capital punish
ment," as the boy said when he was
shut up in closet with the cakes and
preserves.
The small boy will soon be trying to
convince his mother that the "heat"
turned his shirt wrong side out and
wet his hair.
A powerful Mormon lobby. headed
by a son of Brigham Young, is at
Washington to oppose pending anti
mormon legislation.
Beads everywhere-beadso on every
thing is the order OF the day. Beads
Of every color, hue or form pervadc the
clothing of the ladies.
If the United States really think
they want a canal at Panama the prob
abilities are that they will soon be able
to buy partly completed one cheap.
Nuns yelling is fast supelseding
Grape for mourning. 1t isn't because
it is much cheaper, but because it
makes grief and sorrow more comfort
able
What adds to the unpopularity OF
the cyclone is that, while it blows
away almost everything on farm, il
has never been known to take the
mortgage.
Englishmen appear to be in Il per-
petual state of anxiety to be married
10 their deceased wives sisters. Why
don't they marry the sisters in the
first place?
Under broader and more enlight-
ened civilization the COney Islaud ele-
phant might be converted into sum.
mer prison for erring but repentant
bribe-takers.
Among the new cOlors, chamos is q
subdued shade Of yellow, the authors
ties decare, destined to be very fashion
able. On the other side the Londor
ladies already wear it.
OvergrOwn newspapers are going ou
of fashion. The majority of reader.
buy newspapers in order to get The
news, and have no time to search for il
in wilderness of padding.
Statistics assure us that it costs ;
family of four twO-thirds as much I,
live now as it did in 1868. Something
however, depends on how many mem
bers consume spring bonnets.
A Democratic candidate in one of tb,
counties of Pennsylvania gave the fol
lowing reason why he should be nomi
mated: The hain't no one of ar famil,
never run for no office before"
1t is estimated that a National Pro
hibitiOn Law, limiting the sale of intox
lcatmg beverages to the drug stores
would increase the prescription busines
IN this country about 500 per cent.
There is only one right in this coun
try more sacred than the right to strike
to boycott, to MAIN and kill the mel
who presume to work without permi
from the union, and that is the right t.
get drunk.
An Illinois editor defines IA phiIau
thropist as a Jealous person bent al
dong the greatest possible COOL to tn
greatest possible number with Tn
greatest possible amount of other pee
pies money.
Each Congressman is entitled to &. 90
paper packages Of vegetable seed. 81
Of Hover seed 300 Of tobacco. 80 uuarl
OF gras- seed. - Of cotton, % Of supa
beet and ~ each Of corn and sorghum
to distribute among his constituents.
The statistics Of population sho,
that nearly one-third of the peonlr r,
pioyed IN manufacturing, mechanic.
and mining industries in this countr
are foreign born, while Of those emplo,
Ell IN agriculture not more than one
tenth are of foreign origin.
The New York Sun calls Preside,
Cleveland ian insulated political ell
ment without Conference or connectio
with the great body Of the Democrat
party" Dana, Of the Sun, is Dem
cratic mugwump. and IS an inconsi
tent as Nancy" Curtis, Of Harper
Weekly.
Green cucumber peel scattered abo,
building, the COntectiOners' .Journ
reports, will rid it Of cock-roacbe
They are poisoned by the peel. whiC
they eat with great relish. 1t is som
times necessary to follow up the exp
riment two or three nights, using fre.
peel every night.
Most Excellent.
~ Atkins Chief Of Police, Knoxville Ten
wIleS WIN, So, Ny family and are benefciaries