The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-07
HUMoR.


A DAY o6-to-morrow.
WE have just happened to think that
John l.. Sullivan can't box the COM
pass. -LoweU Citizen.
The Ne,c Hampshire Gazette is over
q hundred years old. It never chewed
tobacco, smoked, or used spirituow
liquors.
| Imet tho glri Of tho.
Ithoueht I'd pop the ?
ST. Joseph Gasette.
HELLO, Judson; how are your"
"Pretty well, thank you." slow are
you at homer" wife says Pm rather
grumpy. - Columbus Spectator.
ETIQUETTE il studied style of be-
havior for particular occasions Good
manners stay by . man at any time
and are more important.-Ne,C Or
leans Picaytt7le.
"YoU want servant-girl?" @Yes,
O colored one." "Are you particular
about having colored one?" ayes,
we've had death in the family, and
we're in mourning. "-Boston Courier.
| "UsING tobacco in one FORM" says a
hater of the weed, usually leads to the
use of it in another" This is doubt
less true, for when man first takes
snuff he must et-chew!-Boston
| Courier.
A WOMAN in Georgia lived forty-eight
| days on water, and then died. Water
is pretty thin diet, for fact, but we
know some sailors who have lived
nearly all their lives on water-StOe-
tom Maverick.
"II's through no fault OF mine,"
| complained tired-looking young man,
"that came into the world. But / am
here, and the world owes me living"
"Yes," was the reply, "the world owes
you living, but you haven't energy
and spunk enough to collect it. y
Ne0 York sam.
HUMANITY owes at least one little
| debt of gratitude to Emile lola. When
he was poor he used to catch English
| sparrows and eat them. Now, any
man who will come to America and eat
| English sparrows can secure steady
| employment at good wages and will be
hailed as public benefactor.
Ign Eagle.
|
| that when q Bedouin is asked to have q
drink, his answer would frequently be:
mo, thanks; l drank yesterd Az"
| Now, In Kentucky-ahem Well, if
Kentuckian should refuse the drink he
would Bedouin something unprecedent-
ed in the annals of civilization. Cali
Jornia Mauerick
SOME fellow proposes to start mag
azine in this country, having for its OBJ
iect the encouragement of unknown
but aspiring poets. Crime assumes va
rious shapes nowadays. AS soon as the
place of concealment of the protector
of this new horror becomes known, it
is believed he will be iustifably assas-
sinated with neatness and Dispatch
NOrrastolcn Herald.
THE MAID OF CONCORD.
Where You going to, my Concord maid ?"
Into the henceness of whereof, she safd.
May go with You. my Concord maid?'
IF you have whatness of whynssss' she said.
What is your father. my Concord maid?'
He is a whichness of hownsss, sir" she said.
what is your fortune. my Concord maid?"
THE alnness of 10 be, sir" she said.
Then shan't marry you, my Concord maid.'
go To the thenceness of thereness," she said.
Chicago Sun.
THE MISTAKE SHE MADE.
The damsel who's been bathing at the beaches
ut the beaches,
And bathing, too. in very scanty clothes.
scanty clothes,
Has found the wisdom that experience teaches,
perience teaches,
Since she couldn't find lover who'd propose,
who'd propose.
And she murinurs while her tears are fast de-
scsnding. fast descending,
And impatiently she stamps her little foot,
little foot,
That her summer might have had a different
ending. different ending
II she'd but worn padded bathing suit, bath
ing suit.
--BostOn Courier.
@PAPA, what is a tornado?" asked a
youthful seeker after information.
CHANGING nervously around the room to
see il the coast was clear, the old man
said: "You have often heard your
mother blowing me up for bringing
company home without previously noti-
flying her?" ayes, SIR" well, that
is as much like tornado as anything
/ know of. But you need not tell your
mother that T said an bowavor - Nom