Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-04-02

N"W H8A" va HNN"MaH@
love has never been equaled since ths
tins Of Robin Roughhead, Who de-
clared II be could have his own way
there would be no widows, for be
would marry them al, and there would
be no orphans, for he would father
them all. [Great laughter and ap'
plause.
The literature Of Scotland has fur
nished us with an example that is a
prototype, to some extent, Of the gem
tleman from Iowa. The "Wizard Of
the North" exhausted his genius 10
producing the character Of Capt. DIAL
getty, whose chief delight and labor
were to igEt FIRST upon one side and
then upon the other, with equal valor,
fidelity and enthusiasm. Laughter.
But, Mr.. Chairman, truth is stranger
than fiction. and the character pro-
duced by Walter Scott Is more than
realized In the character of the gentle
man from Iowa, because he can do
what nc fox.hunter has ever been able
to do, that is, to ride upon both sides
Of a sapling at the same time, and to
draw his sword in defense Of both
sides of his country, as he ayows he
did in the late war. Renewed laugh
te'.
More than that, the gentleman, like
a genuine "wash- buckler," keeps up
the fight after the enemy has disap-.
peared ; and like the bully described
in Georgia Scenes" who was caught
in the woods down upon his knees,
swearing and rearing and gouging the
earth with his thumbs. the gentleman
from Iowa keeps up the fight and
makes bis solo performance here in
order to demonstrate how he "mout
have it," Renewed laughter and
applause.
Mr.. Chairman, lit has been a rule OF
my life never to be outdone in cour-
tesy or gratitude, if it were possible.
and as / feel under the profoundest
obligation to the gentleman from Iowa
for the declaration that he fought for
me during the war; shall now pro-
coed to defend him against all corners.
1t has been insinuated here that the
gentleman's speech the other day was
made for a different purpose than for
its effect upon this House that he was
speaking for the third Congressional
district of Iowa. MI. Chairman, | re-
pei the foul insinuation against the
gentleman. 1t has been said even that
he was speaking for the benefit Of
a successor who was to follow him
from that district. That, too, is a mis-
take, for how a any man possibly
know who his successor Is to be?
Again, it was intimated that he was
speaking upon the pension bill for
votes, when we all know 1t was a
widows pension bill, and widows do
not vote. Laughter. These charges
are all unjust; all false. The gentle
man was aetuated by pure patriotism
Of a peculiar kind in making that at
tack upon the South. His successor
might be his political or his personal
enemy, If indeed, there be a miscreant
in the State of Iowa who could be the
enemy Of a man who is as full of uni
versal charity as a three,year old doll
is full of sawdust. Laughter.
But, Mr.. Chairman, there is another,
a better and a sadder reason than all
of these why the gentleman was not
actuated by any selfish motive. l de.
sire to state here that l have made a
diagnosis Of the case of the gentleman
from Iowa, and the conclusion to which
/ have arrived is, that he is afflicted
with a disease very common, but al
most exclusively confined, to public
men, the name Of which was never
known until discovered In the State Of
Georgia. This discovery was interest
ing. An old lady was sick and her
husband had called several physicians
to see her, who treated her without
success. Finally, a young friend of
mine, who had just commenced prac-
tice, was called in, and understanding
the situation as soon as he examined
the case, he told the husband that he
understood it perfectly. He knew the
character Of the disease at sight, and
told the husband that the "vox populi
had got down on her diaphragm"
TGreat laughter and applause.
The gentleman from Iowa has a very
marked and a very extreme attack Of
the "vox populi." Renewed Taught
er. But, In order that we may under
stand the case better, 1t should be
borne in mind that man Is composed
Of two parts, and all other elements
entering into his composition may
be resolved into these Two. One OF
these is a love Of himself, the other a
love of his country. In order to
shorten the formula, we will call one
s~el6shness and the other patriotism.
AS long as the two qualities are in
equipoise the subject Is perfectly heal
thy but whenever seldShness begins
to get a little uppermost 1t draws vital
ity from the other side and the patient
becomes weak, the head becomes very
much enlarged, while the thoracic re.
gion is very much emaciated. EGreat
laughter.
That is the condition Of the gentle
from Iowa. Renewed laughter |
His case is one Of the worst / have
ever examined. Laughter and ap-
plause. He has what is called cere-
bro elephantiasis. Loud laughter