The Wilmingtonian., 1886-11-27
Rreyities.

II wish that S-sould go out Of the par
ior. wonder why he don't" "Probably
because he's a tarryer," was the reply
Merchant Traveller.
When an employer of labor shows himself
n friend TO his hands he can feel that his
business interests are in the hands of his
friends -Somer vile Journal
Sam Jones, in speaking of converting
hard-hearted newspaper men, says he
couldn't touch a Chicago reporter with a
ten-foot pole. He ought to have tried ten
cent cigar. Washington Critic
Since the president has returned to the
White House with his bride his mail is
loaded down with circulars expatiating on
the merits of certain roach exterminators
moth destroyers, soap warranted to remove
grease spots, hair restorers, baby coaches,
preserving jars and other aids TO house
keeping. Norr.stown Herald
A Maine farmer was dragging stones and
lost his fid or stick to put through the links
OF the chain to hold its grin The story
goes that he absent mindelly used his finger
as a fid, that when the chain tightened up Of
course his finger snapped Off, and that he
afterward gravely remarked to friend,
u saw my mistake the minute did it,
tLewiston lA1e.) journal.
1t am de small things in dis heah worp dat
er man haster fear It's de little mule dat's
dc mos ap' ter kick er pusson Arkansaw
Traveller
Z the government will issue no more 81
and 81 bills, they should have made the pres
ent issue of some material that could be
washed and ironed.-Newton CN. J.) Register.
Mr., Yank Adams has scheme of taking
a troupe of $50 American cowboys to London,
and says: "Jerushal if l once got them full
Of fire water the Britishers won't know who
is queenl"-Exchange
Five million needles recently sunk with the
ocean steamer Oregon to the bottom Of the
sea. We hope the mermaids will take the
hint, and make themselves some clothes
Burlington Free Press.
The usual number of new railroads are an.
nounced. When Dakotian hasn't anything
else to do, he goes out in the woodshed and
takes shingle and maps out proposed rail-
road with piece of chalk.-Estelline Bell
There is one consolation in being bald.
When policeman strikes you on the head
with his club, the doctor doesn't have to
waste any time in cutting the hair fir en- the
wound.-Detroit Free Press
off de wedder grows much worse and de
work harder all de time" said an Alabama
colored man; 'dis niger will haze call to
preach. Lynn Item.
"Does death end alli" Alas, no; there is
the monument subscription fund.-Boston
Post
Two hours in row boat witn pretty girl
seem shorter than half a second in a dentists
chair with an aching tooth-Ex.
ba et,,da,,+s ~ %
Michigan have organized for muscular devel-
opment, and win insist on sharing the benefits
of the gymnasium appliances. That's right
The sooner girls know how to split wood, the
more time men will have to do something
else-Rochester Post-Express.
Professor Maria Mitchell, of vassar college,
recommend. iand surveying as business for
women Professor, what would woman do
if sine saw a field mouse and there was ne
stump haDdy burlington Froa Press
Speaking of flies Burlington basepap
player says: "Ihey come high, but we must
have them"-Burlington Free Press.
"Thank you" Ladies cut this ont and
commit it TO memory. 1t may come use su
when gentleman offers you his seat in n
horse car. New Haven News.
The queen is so much pleased with Tenny-
bohs latest ode that she has learned In
whistle it while cooking tine family vicruals
over the kitchen stove in the morninr,-
Chicago News
Ten per cent Of the present freshman class
at Cornell are girls and the bows are
actually beginning to hope that in year or
two pretty one will get sluified in by mis-.
take.-Burlngton Free Press.
A man can lose his money in a savinr.
bank without bong personally iIentltei
II Is only when he tries TO draw il ont for
safe keeping that bank official must be
particular Orleans P.cayune.
The season has come when nan who fin Ia
a twelve-room house aud a half acrs Of
ground too small for him at home will live
with his family in three-room shanty sur.
rounded by loo feet of glaring sand ior
three months and call it happiness. -Somer.
vile journal.
They were sneaking of Central Africa
do those cannibalS ever come to Paris}" in.
quirel Mr.. Prudhomme Of the explorrr
sometimes" "But what do thew live ON
while they arc iere" "Oh, they bring some
canned meat with them, suppose French
Fun.