davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
HIS LAST BELL.

The Editor of the EstelIme Ga Bell Retires
from that Paper, and Gives his Reasons
Therefor.
The editor of the Estelline Bell having
sold his paper, publishes the following
valedictory in the last issue of that paper
After this issue of the Bell Ina going to
stop editing it. I will pass the pleasant
duty of moulding public opinion and be-
ing careful not to use any more cap. WIS
than possible because the Office is little
short on that letter, over to another.
This step is, of course, accompanied
by numerous pangs of regret. They are
not good, large, healthy pangs, however.
They are not what they might be if they
had a fair show. There are so many
pangs of pleasure that the other kind
don't have much more than half chance.
I have been editing this paper with more
more or less uncertainty for some little
time. When not engaged in avoiding the
use of cap. WIS ] have put in much of my
time in attempting to keep the wolf from
the door. This animal has been IN the
habit Of sitting on the doorstep and max
ing constant use of a howl of great vel
ocity. He has also taken occasion to do
considerable gnawing. He seems to have
| thought that it was a good place to give
his unrivaled concerts.
| have decided to desert the Bell for
several reasons. Probably the strongest
is that know when [ got enough:
wouldn't be surprised if the other two
hundred and fifty nine inhabitants of
Estelline feel just about the same about
! it.
Another reason is that my health feels
sort of wiggly and just as if a rest would
| be good thing. Several expert ply
sicians have tried to diagnosis my case
but have failed to classify the disease.
If the autopsy is not more decisive there
is a prospect that [ will never know what
is the matter.
do not intend to go to the trouble and
| expense of having an autopsy held if
can help it. Besides the inconvenience,
I do not consider them beneficial to the
general health. / never knew a person
who has had one held on him that was
quite the same afterwards. [ consider
the autopsy as performed by the ordinary
single di ploma physician of the day as
being highly injurious to the system. [
have seen strong men who have been
autopsied carry the bad effects Of it for
years. 1t never seemed to me that post
mOrtem was much better.
AS intimated above I SHALL if possible
avoid the necessity of making any post
norton statements to my heirs.
might add that this Bell isn't very
good one and that many others that have
proceeded it have been troubled the same
way. [ mention this solely for the benefit
of those who have not read the issues in
question; those who have don't need to be
told.
T. II. G..
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
A W0man'S Allowance.
Zenas Dane in Good housekeeping


A year or two before I was married [
boarded one Winter with a very excellent
family in a Western village. The hus-
band and father was good man, but he
had what his wife called his ''touc by
points" and, good and honest man though
he was, some of these 'tOuchy points"
were life long source of actual sorrow
to his wife, who was a good and faithful
wife and mother, tidy, thrifty and ever
watchful of the common interests of the
family. She was economical to the last
degree, and most industrious. She SEEM
ed to me to be model wife. Her hus-
band thought so too, and would have
angrily resented any imputation to the
contrary. He taught his children to
honor and love their mother, although
failing as it seemed to me, in manifest
ing love and honor for her himself at all
times; but these times were only when
his TOUGHEST point" had been pressed
upon.
One day accidentally heard the wife
say to her eldest daughter:
No, dear; can not ask your father for
money for you new hat. You know
how very touchy he is on that point. I
sometimes lie awake half the night try
ing to devise some method of scrimping
saving, so that need not say the word
money to your father. Nothing hurts
him so much as to be asked for a little
money. dread to think of asking him
for money for anything"
L was engaged to Mrs. Dane at that
time, and l mode solemn VOW that she
should have purse of her own and that
it should never go empty if 1 had any
thing to put in it. We have now
been married six years, and I have
faithfully adhered to that resolution.
And there is no "fxed sum- about it.
Household expenses very at different sea-
sons of the year and under different cir
cumstances. Ten dollars will, perhaps,
cover all the expenses one week, and the
next may be canning" or company"
week, and several extra dollars will be re-
quired. In my case, resent the idea that
my wife is mere pensloner on my
bounty. I reject the imputation that she
has not common sense enough to know
the value of money and dare not be
trusted with it. I am not ''woman's
Fighter" in the popular sense of the term,
but | thank the Lord that / am man
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
PERSONAL.
T. II. @.

Cutting, they say, is going to lecture.
Jay Goulds favorite dish is succotash
John G. SAKE, the poet, is slowly dying
at Albany.
Ruskin expects to die as soon as he has
finished his autobiography-if not be-
fore.
Miss Clara Louise Kellogg was a pas
senger by one of the incoming ocean
steamers on Sunday.
Lieutenant Greedy is now in better
health than at any other time since his
return from Lady Franklin Bay.
Colonel Glider and W. R. Griffith are
resting few days in Winnipeg before
starting for the north pole.
st. John is said to wear dyed mus
tache, No man with a dyed mustache
CAN be president of this all wool and yard
wide country.
Lucien Napoleon Bonapate, grand
nephew of Napoleon L, is visiting Winni-
peg, and expects to locate IN Manitoba or
British Columbia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
She Wanted to Know.
Norwich Bulletin.

A Chestnut street miss OF less than five
summers, who was playing in the yard
and observing the work of nature, sur
prised her father the other day with the
following questions and original con-
clusion:
Papa, does God make worms?"
Yes, daughter"
PA, does God make the hopper toad
eat the worms up?"
II s'pose So"
"Well, should like to know what he
bothered his head with the worms for if
he had to make the hopper toad to eat
them?"
Her father did not attempt to unravel
this juvenile puzzle, for he felt that it was
too much for him.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Dr.Robt. Newton, late President Of the Eclectic
College, of the City of New York, and, formerly
Of Cincinnati, Ohio, used DIR. WIN. HALLS
BALSAM very extensively in his practice, as
many of his patients now living and restored to
health by the use of this invaluable medicine,
can amply testify. He always said that SO good
a remedy ought not to be considered merely as a
patent medicine, but that it ought to be preScrib
ed freely by every physician sovereign rem
edy in all cases ofELung diseases. 1t cures Con-
sumption, and all pectoral complaints.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
Curious Experiments.
Scientific American.

The experiments which were carried
out by Profesfar Tyndall upon the ques-
ton of spontaneous generation demon
situated the fact that in order to keep
a putrescible liquid free from fermenta-
ton it is not necessary (nor in all cases
desirable) that it should be contained in
Theoretically sealed vessels, but it is ne
cessary that the air which is permitted
to gain access should be perfectly free
from all traces of dust particles and Or
ganic germs. M. Pasteur preserves fer
ments unchanged for an indefinite per-
iod in glass bulbs, whose stems are of
narrow section, and are twisted repeated
eddy backward and forward. The liquid,
after being placed in the bulb, is first
boiled, so as to expel all trnces of air
from the stem, and then simply left it to
itself without any closure of any kind.
The air is traversing the numerous sim
uosities of the stem deposits every trace
of dust and reaches the surface of the
liquid in state of absolute purity
that is mechanical, not necessarily chem
1cal, purity. Mr., Schribaux has con-
tructed vessel based upon the same
principle, which is about to be introduce
ed as an article Of commerce for the
preservation of soups, milk. or any other
organic liquid, which may be boiled
without injury. 1t consists OF an ordin-
airy cylindrical can provided with a tight
ly fitting cover of peculiar construction.
The cover is a hollow, although at the
same time it is not very much thicker
than the sides of the vessel itself. Tt ex-
tends some distance downward beyond
the edge of the vessel, sloping downward.
It is also bent to and fro like a sheet of
corrugated iron. The lower edge of the
hollow cover is pierced DO a number of
small holes, and SO also is its inner sur
face over the part which covers the YES
sci. Thus the organic, or inorganic,
dust which may be floating in the air is
deposited in the sinuosities of the cover
before the air finds its way into the in
terror of the vessel. But, as already in
intimated, these precautions are useless
the liquid be actually boiling at the mo-
ment when the cover is first put on.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
No Dead Wood in this Offer

AMONG THE $50 kinds Of Cloth Bound Dollar
Volumes given away by the Rochester n. Y \
American Rural Home tor every 81 subscription
to that Great SPACE, IS co., 10 year ed weekly
(ail SKI inches, from 200 to 200 pages. bound In
CLOTH. are:
Law Witdout LavyeFA DaReson'S( Medically Coun
Family CycIopediA. seller
Farm Cyclopeda. Boys Useful PSstimes.
Farmers and Stockbraed Five Before the Mast
e~s Guide. PsePieS' History of United
Common Sense ia PeHHry StateA
Yard. Universal Rta OF hi Ma
World CyciopediA. tienA
What Amy One RheuA Popular History Cfvn War
Know. doth sides.D
Any one book and paper enc year, postpaid
S1.1s oniyl SatisfaetioR guaranteed. Refer
euce: Hon G. PARseNs, Mayor Rochester.
Samples cents RURAL HoKE Co., LTD, Roch-
ester, n Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
A Misft.

Proprietor-S you're the young fell
low that robs my orchard.
Innocence amt been a-robiI no
one.
Proprietor-Wha makes your pockets
bulge so?
Innocence-It's tie way the pants is
cut.
A Mexican village is to be exhibited at
Horticultural Hall, Boston.
Gladstone is to be honored by having
a New York apartment house named after
him.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
A Lesser Evil.
EStallina RAll

"Ah, my friend" said the affable stran-
ger, as he alighted and warmly shook the
hand of an honest Dakota farmer, II am
glad to meet you. You have fine place
here, good buildings and a well cultivated
farm. How is the wife and little ones?"
"Tolre'bIe."
''Glad to hear it. By the way, Mr..
Snoozenberry, see you have no lightning
rods; want to sell you a couple for your
house and-''
BE you a lightning rod agent?' cried
the old man, with a look of relief.
''Yes, sir
Gimme your hand again, then thank
God it's no worse! Come into the house
and sit down; thought at first you was
another candidate for some county office. I"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
ImOOrtant.

When you visit or leave New York City, save
baggase. Expressage and So Carriage Hire, and
stop at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite
Grand Central Depot.
612 elegant rooms, fitted up at cost of one
million dollars, 81 and upwards per day. Eur
opean plan. Elevator. Restaurant supplied with
the best Horse cars. stages and elevated rail-
road to all depots. Families live better for
less money at the Grand Union Hotel than at
any other first class hotel I'm the citv
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

A writer in the London Live Stock
Journal says he believes it is essentially
necessary to have stock in perfect health
for breeding, and no matter how well
you may have mated your mares, if they
are out of health, or badly fed on infer
ior diet, you can not expect to get a we'll
developed foetus that will grow into a
good horse.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Clegg's Combined Letter, Bill, Circular
Or Statement-Sheet and Envelope, of New
York, is recommended by U. S. post-office
department as ''the BEST" and retail every
where cheap as an envelope.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Why suffer piles? Immediate relief and COM
plete cure guaranteed. Ask for Rough on Piles ~
Sure cure for itching, protruding, bleeding or
any form of Piles soc. At druggists or mailed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
Science Baffied.
New York World

Young Mans it true, doctor, tI.at
smoking cigarettes tends to soften the
brain?
Physician is a belief to that
effect, but with all our ooasted modern
scientific appliances it can never be veri-
fed.
Young Man-Why, doctor?
Physician Because nobody with
brains smokes them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
CROUCH ON BILE" PILLS

A wedding occurred on a train near Tryonville,
"a, one day last week.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
ROUGH ON PILES"

Miss Jessie Watson, of Australia, was recently
a uralized in California. so that she might take
u q hOmeStpa5 in that state
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
ROUGH ON ITCH"

A citizen of Schley county, Georgia, shingles
his own hair and does it we'll as the most skill
lnnrL
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

are immensely strengthened by the use of Dr. r.
V. Pierce's ''Favorite Prescription, which cures
all female arrangements, and gives tone to the
system. Sold by druggists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

The state Of Louisiana is overrun with mad
paupers, and there is not money enough in the
treasury to provide quarters for them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Five dollars can be saved every year in boots
and shoes by using Lyons Heel Stiffeners, costs
pyIEy
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Start the bne, relieve the bilious stomach, thick,
aching hsad and overloaded bowels. Small gran
ules, small dose, big results, pleasant i'll oper-
alton. don't disturb the stomach. 2oc.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Rough on Itch cures skin humors, eruptions,
ring worm letter, salt rheum, frosted feet chill
bEins, itch, Ivy poison, barber's itch. Soc. jar.
Bailey Bartlett, the eldest citizen of Lawrence,
Mass, died one day recently, aged 90 years.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Pile tlnnors, rupture and fstule, rad
ically cured by improved methods. Book, 10
cents in stamps. Worlds Dispensary Medical
Association, Buffalo. II. Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
ROUGH ON CATARRH

Chico, Cal, woman postponed her wedding
because it was too warm to get married.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

A wealthy set of visitors are those now at
Bar Harbor, Me. A Bangor bank recently cashed
over $4,000 in checks sent by Bar Harbor re-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

On one steamship 141 horses were
recently brought from Glasgow to Mon
treal in excellent condition.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Boston is trying noiseIess pavement of gran
tie blocks set in concrete.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
The Bload is the Life .

Thoroughly cleanse the blood, which is the
fountain of health by using DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery, and good digestion a fair
skin, buoyant spirits, vital strength, and sound
ness of constitution will be established.
Golden Medical Discovery cures all humors
from the common pimple, blotch or eruption, to
the worst Scrofula or od-poison Especially
has it proven its efficacy in curing Salt-rheum or
letter, Fever-sores, Hip-joint Disease, Scrofuous
Sor:s and Swellings. Enlarged Glands, and Eat
ing Ulcers.
Golden Medical Discovery cures Consumption
(Which is Scrofula of the Lungsl, by its wonder
ful blood purifying, invigorating, and nutritive
properties. For Weak Lungs, Splitting of Blood,
Shortness of Breath, Bronchitis, Severe Coughs,
Asthma, and kindred affections, it is sovereign
remedy. 1t promptly cures the seyereSt Coughs.
For Torpid Liver, BiliouSneSS, or Liver Com
plant, Dyspepsia and Indigestion, it is an I'M
equaled remedy. Sold by druggists.
After expending SS00O,OO0 in surveys, it is to
be hoped that country of the magnitude OF
the United States should have a correct map, yet
it is without single one.
Gray hair, however caused, is restored to its
original color by Halls Hair Remover.
The undertakers' association at louisville Ky,
has recently decided TO boycott the widow Bax,
because she buries poor people for less than the
usual rate.
Persons suffering from Ague of long standing
will find q specific IN Ayers Ague Cure.
One Meadville, Pa, editor refers pleasantly to
another as the spook-eyed stooI-pigeon that
dops his ears at the gad-fies in the alleged edito-
.ial rooms Of the Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Rough on Toothache'' Instant relief. 15c
During the month of July a Cloverdale. Cal,
hunter killed twenty-four deer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
WELLS HAIR BALSAM

If gray, restores to original color. An elegant
dressing, softens and beauties. No oil nor
grease. Tonic Restorative. Stops ha:= COM
ing out; strengthens, cleanSes, heals scalp.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

The wine growers of southern Califor-
MIA recently met at Los Angeles and
formed protective association.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

A Remedy for Lung Diseases.

Only one of the ten thousand veterans that
San Francisco was arrested for drunkenness.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
Didn't Like Bald Heads.

First Young Lady-And how do you
like Mr. Brisk? saw him with you a
moment.
Second Y. lam not impressed. Can
not abide baId-headed men.
First Y. bald headed! Why, his
head is not bald.
Second Y. Lob, yes, it is inside!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

corrects offensive odors at once. Complete cure
of worst chronic cases; also unequaled as gargle
for diphtheria, sore throat, foul breath. soc.
A Fresno. Cal, farmer advertises a number of
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

A parsonage to be built for Rev DR.. Hall, O
New York city. will cost SIS 900.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Rough on Rats" clears out mice. 15c.
Rough on 9orns" hard or soft corns, bunions
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

months treatment tor 5Uc rIso's Remedy
for Catarrh Sold hv druggists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09
THE WEAKER SEX

One MeadYlIIe, Pa, editor referS pleasantly to
another as the spook-eyed stool-pigeon that
dops his ears at the gad-fies in the alleged edito-
-ia1 rooms Of the Tritune
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-09

Inc unGieTtakerS' ASSOCIATION at Louisville, Ky,
has recently decided to boycott the widow Bax
because she buries poor people for less than the
l 1r-afn
, 1886-04-17

Anew York young man in three months
gave his seat In n car to ifty-nine women
and gfrls-young women, old women. pretty
girls, ugly girls, shop girls, cash girls, rich
girls, colored girls, w~asherwomen, women
with diamonds and sealskins. and very
shabby Every one OF these
thanked the young man. One grateful old
soul gave him a doughnut from her has
ket; several OF them held his satchel and
buntles while he stood. He had II cough
once aud a kind-hearted old woman told
him what to do for II, and on one occasion a
grateful Irishwoman announced to the car
that he was IA gintleman If ever there was
wan Perhaps, after all, when a woman
neglects TO thank a nan for giving her II
seat II may only be because she fears he
may be a ~masheT" who will take advant
age OF her good breeding. Chicago Herald.
, 1886-04-17

rnhsiphNr CLEVELAND has made a
wise selec'lon III the appointment oil Zen
'onn A. hcOlernand' OF Illinois, to the
embarrassing oil the utah commission
anu ms immediate eonnrmation by the
senate may De regarded as merited rec
osn',ion OIL ms n'ness iorthe position as well
as Just tribute 70 ms hlgh personal char
acter' uen' McClernand has been faith
, 1886-04-17

San Francisco Is probably the ugliest
city In the union, despite her beautiful
surroundings, her ideal situation. her raw
ishing water view. Nature has supplied
her with charms galore, but on her face
the deformlng hand Of man has left
heavy. hideous marks. Her architecture
Is n nightmare Of gray and wooden hor-
rors; her houses lack both paint and dig.
nifty and are huddled together, separated
by the omnipresent. ultra~ugly, allpre-
serving fence. A tall, wooden fence has
II obvious use in rural districts, where 1t
protects the grounds and gardens Of the
residents from the unwelcome incursions
OF rowing cattle. but 1t is many a year
since kline and swine have been permitted
and there is neither sense nor beauty in
the large wooden structures which sur
ronnd the lawns and parterres of every
second house in San Francisco.
Eastern cities have long since aban
doned fences, except In some cases, where
a low, lace-like, iron railing Is substituted,
and one can ride miles through the beau
tiful boulevards Of Chicago, Cincinnati,
Detroit, or Boston without seeing a fence
OF any description. There your grounds
are separated from your ~neighbors' only
by a low, stone coping, and the lovely ex-
panse OF green and flowers stretches away
indefinitely, unmarried by the painted ex-
crescences which render our streets as
lugubrious as the shadow of convent
walls, which neither adorn nor defend,
but successfully conceal the really beauti-
full lawns which lie behind their aged
backs.-San Francisco Post.