The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1886-04-15
CHINESE ANECDOTES.
Stories Which are Curiously Similar to
European Tales.

Stories Which are Curiously Similar I
European Tales.
Two persons standing over stove O
cold day warming themselves wer
overheard indulging in the followin
dialogue: No. l, apathetic, and give
to verbiage, addressed No. 2, reputedl
hot-tempered and decisive, whose clothe
he noticed smoldering, as follows: IN
dear friend. there is something | woul,
like to speak to you about; l have seel
it for some time and all along hav
wanted to tell you, but, as people sa,
your temper is so fiery, l hesitated; oil
the other hand, if do not speak yo,
may be loser, so have come to til,
conclusion at last to ask your permis
sion to do so.' ''Out with it." said tn,
other. "Well, your clothes are burn
ing" mildly continued No. l. "Wh,
the deuce" cried No. 2 in passion, a!
he observed considerable damage al
ready done. .'could you not speak al
onceP' SIT is true, then, what people
say: What temper he has got,'' mutter,
ed No. l, as he lazily walked off.
A wood-cutter was at work in concert
with his son, while his little grandchild
played near him. The old man acci
dentally cut his sons finger, whereupon
the irate sufferer called his father a
blind old fool. ''You son of a dogr'
cried the little boy, chow dare You
abuse your fatherr'
The following is told of an incorrigibly
idle offspring of literary father: 4
youngster, having great disinclination
to study, was shut up in a closet with
strict injunctions to apply himself.
Stealing near, the parent, to his delight,
heard his boy droning over his book.
and was presently still more pleased by
hearing the supposed student exclaim:
Il understand it!' The excited father
rushed in, crying out: 81 am proud, nv
son, that you have at last mastered that
work. /" ''Yes," said the boy, Il always
thought books were written, but to-day
L have discovered that they are print
ed.''
Come here to dinner" cried a good
housewife to her husband, at work in
field. ''All right" he shouted, las soon
as have hid my hoe" At dinner his
wife demonstrated with him for shouting
so loud about hiding his hoe. II am
certain" said she. ''the neighbors have
heard you, and some one has already
stolen it" Struck with the remark, the
man returned to the field, and,- sure
enough, the hoe was gone. On return
ing to the house, and impressed with
the wisdom of her previous caution, he
whispered into his wife's ear: 1.-The hoe
is stolen"
The following impromptu, though
consequent on fall, can not be looked
n IN ~G e
derstanding. A man stumbled and fell.
Trying to rise, he again fell. Hang it."
he cried. ''if | had known l was to fall
again L would not have tried to get
up"
A woman was tanning the corpse of
her husband, and being asked by the
neighbors why she famed dead man
in the middle of winter, she replied:
''My husbands last words were, wife,
wait till l am cold before you marry
again.
The feminine propensity for conceal
ing age and resenting impairment ques-
tions in regard to it is common to all
times and nationalities, but that does
not derract from our admiration of the
trick by which the truth was got at in
the following instance: A man, newly
married, thought when his wife unveii-
ed for the first time she looked rather
Did and wrinkled. Telling her so, he
asked her real age, when she replied.
'45 or As. (" You wrote in the mar
'iage contract So years." said he, ..but
Tou look even more than 45 or 46.'' At
ast she admitted 54. The husband was
till doubtful; SO he bethought himself |
II stratagem for getting at the truth. |
Jumping up, he said: Il must cover up |
he salt before going to bed, or else the |
ats will cat it all before morning.
We'll" !" said his wife, laughing, II have
leard of and seen many Strange things
n the sixty-eight years of my life, but |
lever saw or heard of rats eating salt |
,efore''
A doctor opened drug store, but for
long time had no customers At last
me customer came. When supplying
us wants the vendor observed that the
rug was full of weevils. What is
hisP' said the buyer. ..Klang tsan
larva)" replied the doctor.
But, said the man, 'Klang tsan are
ways dead" YES" said the doctor,
but you see, they cannot remain dead
fter eating my medicine"
A doctor, as punishment for causing
is patients death, had to pay ten bur-
ems of wheat. While carrying the grain
g was met by a man who asked him to
ome and treat a sick member of his
4mily. ''All right" said the doctor, Il
Ill be there shortly; but in the mean
me you may be getting your barn
eaned out
A barber shaving customers head
'ew blood and put one of his fingers on
Again he made cut and put down
lother finger, and SO on till he had no
ore fingers free. ''Ah," said he, as he
fused in his work, "a BARRIERS is a
fficult trade; we ought to have a thou
nd fingers. ."-Hsido Lin Kuang.