davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
HUMOROUS.

Good at a pinch-A tight shoe.
A fine art-Presiding over a police
court.
The successful author has a fortune
in his wi write.
Auctioneer (selling town property:
"Why, gentlemen, the very atmos-
phere's worth the money"
Iowa encourages men to quarrel and
become sick by employing 5 women
lawyers and 1872 women doctors.
1t is given a reason why lawyers
charge such enormous fees that their
career is a brief one, at the longest.
NERVOUS girl" wants to know how
" cure a tickling sensation about the
face. Get him to- shave off his nous
tache.
Imitation cod liver is now made in
Paris. What anybody wants to imi-
cate the stuff for Is a mystery. Some
thing as unlike it as possible would be
more taking.
Something new in butter dishes, I
see," said Mrs. Pompano as she
glanced over the advertisements.
"What is it," asked rompano eagerly.
Good butter"
A Boston oculist advertises to sup
ply cork nose, ~spectacles." Without
being positive we presume that spec
tacles for cork noses are the same as
those for the ordinary kind of noses.
In Spain the natives keep guinea
hens about their houses for the sake
of enjoying their harsh and discordant
cries. This would seem to indicate
that they have nc street bands in
Spain.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
UnderclOthing.

Says DR.. VIM. a. Hammond, "The
chief object of undertaking is the re-
tention of the natural heat of the body
n such a way that low temperatures
and sudden changes will not affect the
surface. Several years ago 1 perform
ed some experiments which went to
show beyond any doubt that silk is
below wool in its power to prevent
the loss of heat from the body, and
very little superior to cotton. Indeed,
nothing is in this respect preferable to
wool. and of this material all under
clothing meant for winter use should
be. made. In summer q mixture Of
wool and cotton, called merino, ma
be worn, but even in very hot weather
silk is not desirable. for it is not such
Il ready absorber Of the perspiration as
wool. and allows the body to be kept
in a state not very remote from that
known rs parboiled. Wool. however,
taking up, as it does. the moisture
from the body, exposes it to the atmos-,
phere. or is evaporated, and, the pro-
cess being a cooling one, keeps the
skin from being overheated. No I'M
derclothing should ever be so thick as
to prevent free passage Of the cuta-
neous %excretions and the atmospheric
air. The skin requires ventilation as
do the lungs. Chamois-skin under
garments, perforated" or unperforat-
ed, are denominations.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
enable r. Walk Forward.

DR.. MAzzotti tells of a man who had
a %scorbutic affection. which he set
about to cure with whisky. He got
well of this trouble, but became a hard
drinker, and soon found himself the
victim of a rare disease called opistho-
.poria- This curious affection consist
in inability to walk forward. When
the patient was told to advance, he
used every effort to do SO, but could
only succeed in going backward. and
'is continued TO do So until he died.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
Pennybunker in Danger.

Miss Esmerelda Longcofin, one of
the most attractive bellies Of Austin,
said confidentially to her mother. who
is a poor widow:
"Old Judge Pennybunker proposed
to me last night. Shall I tell him
yesY"
enc. my daughter, Of course not.
He Is too old for You. He8is worth.
$4,000. III have to be satisfied with
him myself, I sapposa. Just let me
attend to him."-Teras Strings.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
The snow storm.

Lightly and Whitley a,,s d.
AS wheat from the grain,
Thickly and Quickly
AS thoughts through the brain,
So fast and 50 dumb +
Do the snow flakes come;
Swift, swift as the lays drop
From glad poet-lips,
Soft, soft as the days drop
From Times ~finger-tips.
Oh, SO many, 80 many!
Yet no sound from any
Oh, so fast. oh, SO fast!
Yet no truck where they passed.
Oh, so fragile, so frail!
Yet no force can prevail
To speed them or stay thom.
No prayer can outweigh them.
They full where they must,
Through the fathomless gray,
And bring to earth's dust
What OF heaven they may.
Grace d. Litchfeld, tn ST. Nicholas.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19

v-1. ~#NE. - J
A Young Indians Romantic History
A tall young man, with a complex
ion of the rich color of the ripe chest
nut and with limbs AS Clearly cut as
those of Michael Angeles statue of
David, called upon President Cleve-
land recently. and asked the appoint
ment of a cadetship at West Point,
says a Washington correspondent of
the Cleveland Leader. 1t was young
Hole-in-the-Day the son of the noted
Chippewa Chief, and now the King of
all the Chippewas. He is about eigh-
teen years old. is over six feet tall, and
he has an eye like that of a young
eagle. A romance clusters around
him. and it was at Washington where
his father. the noted Chippewa King,
met the woman who became his moth
or. 1t was in 1867 that old Hole-in-
the.Day came here on business with
the President. He was made much of
by the newspapers, feted by society,
and at the National Hotel, where he
was stopping, he was spoken Of as the
rich Indian King, who owned the
greater part of the lands Of the North
west. At this hotel there was a pref
ty Irish chambermaid who did up the
old, chiefs room. The two met. They
looked, and from their eyes sprang
love. Chief Hole-in-the-Day who had
met the bellies of Washington. passed
them by, and chose the chambermaid.
He proposed. She accepted. They
were married, and she went back to
Minnesota an Indian queen. From
the marriage sprang this boy, who has
now inherited his fathers position.
The old King begot the jealousy Of
some of the Indian tribes by his union
with a white wife. and they suspected
him of treacherously giving away.
their lands. They assassinated him.
Mrs. Hole-in-the- Day still lives. Her
boy has the true military bearing
about him, and he looks and walks
like the king that he is. He dresses
in American clothes, and talks pure
Anglo-Saxon. Governor Ramsey is
pushing his claims. and he will proba-
bly, receive an appointment.
INs Enf o. ~. WF.L ". N@M ..rf-H - GO e. HHH =
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
"oh, certainlys'' said grandma, smil-

ing. aaos
And Aileen distributed handleless
cups and bountiful slices of golden
brown corn-cake, yet steaming from
the fire, to her guests.
1--WE are hardly prepared to enter.
tain so large a company" said She
composedly; "but we can, at all events.
give you a sincere welcome"
Two-three-half a dozen more
dropped in. Old Pomp was summoned to
pour fresh pine-cones OF the blaze and
bring more coffee and corn-cake.
He grinned from ear to ear.
"Pow'ful like de good old times"
said he, to Aunt Felicia, when he re-
turned to his cabin. "De berry cream
Oh de gentry enjoyin' de corn-pones an
coffee like dey was our w old
marse's folks. Amt muffin like corn
pone for ra!e good flavor, dat dey amt.
An the young lady from de Mort, she's
as pretty as a peach. Reckon de capt
ing finks so, too. He, he he!"
And old Pomp shook his sides with
an inaudible chuckle of glee.
Later in the evening the gentlemen
went up to the house, where stood the
three Misses Harrington in a shipper
ing row.
But their call there was insipid, and
several of them returned to the "Stone
Barn" to finish their evening.
Adrian Dulary remained the latest
Of also late, in fact. that it was he
who escorted grandma-who had dis
creetly fallen asleep in her big chair
some time ago-and Aileen to tho
house, under whispering pine-boughs.
by the light of a big round moon.
The three cousins, whose list of calls
had long since ended, were yawning
in the parlor.
."Dear me!' cried Selma, as the little
group came in. where have you
been all day, Aileen?"
I'm the old stone-barn chamber,
learning to spin," said Aileen. laugh
ing and coloring: : >t5
Juanita looked sharply at her.
What change had subtly crept over
her voice and manner? Then she
looked at Captain Adrian's bright
face.
Take good care Of her." said the
young officer. tenderly removing the
heavy shawl from Aileen's shoulder.
"She has promised to be my wife. be-
for a great many weeks" ~
1t was not until Dulary had gone
that the full cannonade Of questions
burst on Aileen's devoted head. ,
Girls, girlsl. don't all speak at
once" aidsgrandmas "Its Just ex-
actly as I've always told you. The
right one will be sure to come along if
you sit in the chimney-corner aud
wait. And that was just what Aileen
was doing this evening" -
And that night. when the FROST
white stars of midnight climbed the
sky, Aileen whispered:
"Good-by, sweet New Years Day
the happiest I have ever known!"-
Helen Forrest Gyayes.
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19
Foreign Life Mt Washington.

1t is a curious thing that the capital
Of the United States should be more
like a foreign city than any other
town in this country, says a Washing
ton letter. The writer adds: 1t is q
great place for people who have lived
in Europe for a good many years to
set up their household. 1t is a kind
of brake which gently lets them down
from the in~toxication of European life
to the dead level Of an American
commercial city. This class of re-
turned tourists make up much of the
winter population of Washington
and being as a rule both rich and idle,
they add much to its charm. Nowhere
on this continent is there so much leis>
ure as here. Everything like work be-
gins at 9 o'clock and ends at 4. Then,
unlike other great cities, the workers
do not have to traverse the whole
length and breadth of the town to get
to their homes. The public workshops
are all central-it is not far from any
mans work to his home. The short
er hours of work which prevail in
foreign cities are a continual marvel
to the American. The idea of a man
of business making his first appear
ance at his office at 10 o'clock in the
morning. then taking a big slice off at
noon-just the most valuable part Of
the working day-and then quitting
about the time the American gets
fairly warmed up to his work is GER
tainly very surprising. But it becomes
still more so when he comes here and
finds that after 4 o'clock all the town
is at leisure. It is true that the high
er officials have longer hours and the
Cabinet officers are driven to death if
they mind their business, but the av-
erage worker does his eight hours
work, and then leaves off, with two
hours of daylight before him even in
winter.
Then for that fraction of the world
known as society" the hours are
fixed and invariable, and. this. too, con-
duces to the economy of time. One is
in No danger of having a whole day,
from noon to twilight, monopolizcd by
a string of inconsequential visitors.
Nobody visits before 2, and nobody
versed in Washington society before
g., and at 81 it is all over. All official
houses and nearly all private ones
have a day for receiving, so that each
individual has six days in which to
labor and do all that he or she has to
do. 1t is a wonder that this easy,
w~ell-ordered life charms people to
Washington, and getting them here
keeps them? a" ''' ~ ~
The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-19

and went in to see what the meaning
Of this unwonted illumination might
be-. 4
The door stood wide open-the whole
room was aglow with a warm, ruddy
light. Grandma, enthroned in a big
splint-chair before the blaze, was
drinking her coffee. and Atleen sat
spinning at the old wheel. with cheeks
softly redeemed and blue eyes spark
ling-a very picture Of health and
beauty.
Both started at the sudden appari-
ton of the captain on the threshold.
IL beg your pardon!" said Captain
Dulany, lifting his hat. II saw the
light shining out. and 1 was afraid
that something had happened"
Something has happened" said
Aileen. laughingly. II have learned
tosp.n. And grandma 2and@I are hav-
ing a picnic. Will you come in, Cap
tain Dulany ,"
well, since your coffee smells SO
good. Think 1 will" said the gallant
young officer. Hft AA@&a :
His cup-whfch for lack of more ex-
pensiye china happened to be a mug
was, scarcely poured ont, before their
numbers were augmented by bir. Fer
rars and young Doctor Fenchurd. who
had seen the lights. and had also OBJ
served "Hotspur" fastened to the
fence.
May we venture to .intrude? ?" said
they, peeping In over the stair-rail.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
Able to Afford Ones Own Barber.

The custom of having a barber call at
ones house has become quite fashion
within the last few years. 1t is rather en-
pensive, but rich men can stand it. Fifty
cents is the average fee demanded. Some
men have fitted up especial BARRIERS
rooms at their homes. Others have easy
chairs for the accommodation of their
BARRIERS at their downtown places Of
business. 1t used to be Ferdinand Wards
regular afternoon custom to summon his
barber as soon as business was over; he
was sort of pioneer in this line in Wall
street Now there are dozens of specu-
lators and clerks who follow out his
aristocratic eNample.-New York Times.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
Goudolas nnd GonJolicrs of Venice.

On these evenings j: is amusing tc
watch the elegant private gondolas wait
ing in crowds to bear thei- .air mistresses
home. 1t is u regular battle Of the boats.
Each gond does his best to get his
floating carriage UP to the steps first, ana
vast is the pushing and scufiling, loud the
uproar One by one the carven barks,
with glittcring prows and tufted funereal
coverings emerge from below the dark
ness Of the bridges into the dimly-liyhted
canal; u plank is laid to the shore: in
one hand the sprucely-tlressed sondo.ier
holds Il beautiful lantern of worked iron
and ancient design, the other he offers to
his mistress, who, leaning lightly Oh his
shoulder, trips into the gonloIa, and.
deity turning around, backs as grace
fully as she can into her coffin-likc cabin.
Here, where the ordinary carriage looks.
Byron says: "a coffin clapped Oh Il canoe,
the genuine funeral conveyance Is more
like Il gala barge In the midst OF the
long and graceful bark the coi1i: is
sheltered below u rich canopy OF draped
black and silver stuff, glittering i'll the
sun, and in singular contrast to the unre-
lieved sumberness of the gondolas which
carry the living.
On one which saw the other day, Il
silver lion of st. Mark crouched iii the
stern, while on the Prov stood the silver.
life-sized figure Of an angel with IL
trumpet. The gondoliers, too, We're
dressed in black and silver, their arms
and legs covered with close-1itting black
and white stuff, and on their heads black
caps with white, curling feathers-a strilS-
ing and probably a very ancient costume.
The truth is that all the sights and sounds
OF Venice have peculiar fascination of
their own, and Mr.. Howells is quite right
when he says that however long one may
live here. one never gets thoroughly ia
miliarized or blase with the place. You
may imagine You do, you may cease to
think about it, and then all OF Il sudden
the beauty, the attraction, the strange
ness strikes You as wildly as the first
time, and enwrap you and carry you oil
from ordinary, work-a-day life.-Florence
Gautiers Venice Letter.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
The Power of the Rothsc hills.

The Rothschild family is rich beyond
knowledge. The family wealth, united,
amounts into the thousands of millions of
dollars, and it holds the financial credit of
nations in it's hands. In the last twelve
years its members have loaned $3.50 600, 900
to certain European governments, and
when, in 1885, the Prussian government
demanded an indemnity of So. OOO, 900
from the city of Frankfort-on-the-M Main
where the Rothschilds do great deal OF
business-thc house notified Bismarck
that il the levy was forced every bank
in Frankfort would be broken. Bis-
marck did not collect. Chicago Herald.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
I hurar.cr of Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Emerson never was Il platform orator.
He was purely an essayist. His mannc:
was very far from energetic. and his sub
iect matter unfit for Il popular audience.
He never drew !, crowd twice. In all
towns he had handful OF worshipers. He
was one OF the purest. most gentle OF men.
No committee was ever annoyed by his en-
actions. But ii he had forgotten his
manuscript. alas for everybody. He could
do nothing. He had no ready wit. And
he was very likely to forget his papers.
Emerson had habit OF seeing in people
that which other people did not see. He
was wonderfully interested in any nature
that was downright earnest. If their
views divergcd sharply, all the better. His
question was, how and why is this man SO
sincere: No one can he in dead earnest
without there is Il truth somewhere in
him. He did not care to lecture, and IL
was with much difficulty that he WAS
drawn far from Boston. Democrat.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
A Poor Factor in Naval Warfare

Torpedoes are all right in theory, but
will prove poor factor in naval warfare
against ships well prepared and ON the
alert; there are various devices to neutral
ize them, or render them harmless. or
nearly SO. Calling guns, electric lights,
grape and canister (of which modern can
non will throw about a hogshead full at a
single discharge) are very serious impede
ments in the way Of torpedo devices. 1t
will be in the future as in the past. There
will always be Farragut who will say, a.
he said when the Tecumseh sank going
into Mobile Bay, and his fleet captains
hesitated, g. the torpedoes go ahead."-
Charles w. Read in New York World.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
The Mythical Tea Of China.

you have often hearl,' said a dealer tn
me the other day, that there is an OK.
qui>ite tea in China which never comes tn
this country, and that VIVA; little of it
leaves that country goes To Russia to de-
light the nobility OF that country. 1t is
SAID that people in this country hay never
tastea Sreal cup OF tea. and SO on. Now,
SO iar as can learn-and think ought
70 know--this is all myth. There is no
ten III China which can not easily oe im.
ported into this country. The Chinese
nave kind OF tea that they think is bet
ter than what they send us, but we could
not drink It. 1t is Very weak and h;,s Il
mawklsh hav,!' That is rather sickei.iny t
Us. Cor. Chicago journal.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
The Pronunciation Of Beaufort, 3. C.

The name of this place is pronounced
Bew-fort, land don't you forget it, as a
native remarked. This is authentic and
taken On the spot. Whatever the inhabi-
tants call Il place is the name of that
place no matter If i; is spelled with eleven
his and pronounced Oshkosh And what
ever Il l,an or family calls himself or itself,
is the name thereof: though, like one OF
the noble families Of Virginia, they spell
it Talaferro and call it Toliver. But that
place in North Carolina with the same
spelling is called Bo-fort, and that little
inlet in Florida is called Boof-ert. All
this is done, suppose to illustrate the
absurdity OF our orthography.-''Pa
in Chicago Times
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
Salmon Found In the Hudson.

There Is legend thar sturgeon was
once SO familiar on family dinner tables in
the state capital tina; 1t was sold BY the
name OF ALBANY beef" \ much more
pa!atahle fish is now reappeuring in the
waters OF the upper Hudson after an alb
sencs Of many years. The sllad fishermen
at Troy have found three salmon in their
nets wltllina few days past, and Il dis
patch FROM that city says that the I'M.
wonted catch has male IL great excite.
ment' there. These salmon are alleged to
be the proluc; III try planted in trout
streams in Warner, county, on the border.
OF the Adirondack r.glO.l, four years ago.
This county lies far north Of Troy. and
Lake George iorns part OF its eastern
boundary.-Ci!lcayo Tribune.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
Bring Science to the Rescue.

Can not some ingenious Yankee invent
artificial feathers and SO take the wind
out OF the sails of the Ornithologists' union
and the Audubon society? The discovery
OF petroleum has saved the whales from
determination, and the manufacture ot
cellnloid in imitation Of ivory is destined
to supersede the use .: the latter article,
and SO give the dear old elephants rest.
Verify, science is big magician, and will
shortly supersede all natural products.
The next thing We look for Is the manu-.
facture OF scientific food to take the place
OF bread and meat. Snlne one will take a
load OF dirt and put it into u machine, en-.
tract all the nourishmeht from it. and
and sell the product Tor !. cent q pound,
Then half the population will be starving
from ovcrprMluctioa. we suppose. That's
the way these benefits work.-Texas Slit.
Jugs.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
A Great Enterprise just Inalis

A Great Enterprise just TnauSurated.
An immense scheme for the supply Of
water to Bombay has just been inaugur-
ated ut point six miles distant from the
city, under the Bhore Ghauts, half way
between the stations OF Callian and Egut-
poora, on the Great indian Peninsula rail
way. Here there will be created lake
of eight miles in area from it IN aque.
duct will be constructed to carry the
water to the city. \ dam 5000 feet in
length, lis feet in height, and 100 feet
wide at the base, is being built across the
Tansa valley to impound the waters of the
river, and it will require six years for its
completion. 1t will contain over 10000.
600 cubic feet of masonry, which will he
built in installments, each years work
stretching across the valley, so that the
water may accumulate behind it from the
gathering ground.
The contractors have already commenced
work OH the foundations, and have pre-
pared Il village for the reception of tncir
work people. The neighborhood is en-.
tirely desOlate, and all the artisans have
come from a distance. Already 1900 peo-
pie have gathered to the place, and it is
expected that the number will rise to
10000. A special water supply has been
laid down for them, and every arrange.
ment made for their health and comfort.
The stone is found in the neighborhood,
but the bunker and chunam come from
great distance, and IL branch line is to he
laid from the railway to deliver them Iii.
rect to the spot.-Erank Leslie's.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28
Greatcst llilricultx In the yvo.,a

Greatest Difficulty in the World.
Two friends meet: Would you believe
IT." said one, II have just come from my
landlord and had the greatest difficult,
In the world to persuade him to accept Il
little money" BAH! That's nonsense.
And Why" Because he wanted SO much
more than offered him. French Joke.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28

reaching Manners to the Acknowledged.
A young woman in Washington is said
to be making good living by teaching
the young attaches of the Chinese
and Japanese legations American small
talk and society manners. Washington
Letter.
The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-08-28

In the list OF the i've largest cities of the
world, st. Petersburg stands last, and
Paris is not included.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-04-10
The Local Journal.

Pawtucket, r. l., Gazette and Chronicle
BY common consent, a town of any
size, which is destitute of a newspa-
per, is deemed sadly lacking in en-
terprise. Further than this, many a
town is estimated by strangers from
the ability or reputation of the jour
nal it maintains. Let traveller
enter a town or city, and find in the
hotel or private house wherein he
sojourns, a heightened newspaper
published in the place, and his re-
spect is eXtorted for the town or city
itself. "There must be-" he says to
HIMSELF" "an intelligent population
residing here, capable of approaching
such a journal. a people in the
habit of reading it must be morally
and mentally improved.