davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13
Sample Of Texas Childhood

Little Mamie, aged ten, had just re-
turned from children's party.
odd you dance with Tommy Fizzle.
top?" asked her mother.
mo, l didn't. He asked me dozen
times to dance with him, but refused
him. lust let him suffer.
''You refused to dance with him?
Why did you act so impolitely?"
"Because | had my reasons. don't
know what the little six-year-old fellow
means. wonder if he thinks am 90.
ing to compromise myself. If he thinks
l m anxious to cucumber myself with
the cares and responsibilities of matri
mony, he is very much Mistaken
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13
BABY COULD TALK.

A Yoar-Old COnversationalist Whose Flow
of Language Is Simply Marvellous.
Many infants talk at surprisingly
early age Instances have been known
of babies yet in their swaddling clothes
who could discourse on all manner of
topics. 10 be sure, the drift of their
remarks had to be interpreted by fond
mother, but no one would dare to saw
that baby didn't talk.
myself heard year-old child saw q
great many things one day recently.
WAS calling on a friend whose baby
was just year old.
'Can he talk any yet?" 1 asked.
'.Talk!' exclaimed the fond mother.
with an injured look. II should think
SO! He can just say everything. Cant
you, ducksy daddlep"
"Boo, boa, bee, zee, ya," screechcd
baby, growing black in the face with She
effort. - '
"Hear him!' cried the fond mother.
He said: Iguess can talk"
The information surprised me a little.
but | discreetly held my peace.
Nov, tell the gentleman your
name" says baby's mamma, coaxinrly,
boo, hoo, da, da, boo"
Charles Edgar Jones, Just as plain
as anything could say it, you little
sweet!'' cries the triumphant mother.
My surprise increased.
''Now tell mamma who YOU like ICES,
in all the world"
boo, baa, bee, da, dar'
.How cunning'' I exclaim. ".Da
da' means papa, don't itp'
.Mercy, no! Didn't you hear the
little blessing say as plain as could be
that ne liked the gentleman beste' He
means you!'
l am flattered, of course, and amazed
at my own stupidity. I thought was
familiar with the "King's English" hit
the English of this little King is new to
me.
''Now say Sing a song o sixpence,'
for the gentleman.
"Yee, zee, boo, boo, baa!n splutters
baby.
"No, no, deary," says mamma. re-
Provingly; that's Little Bo Peep
Now say the other
Boo, boo, bee, ga, ya!''
''That's it! That's it, you blessed old
pretty boy! l knew you could say it!
And to think the gentleman asked if YOU
could talk any yet! l guess he won't
ask it again"
guess, too, that | won't. Either that
baby or | can not speak the Englishu
language in its purity, and -
to displaying my -
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13

An Indiana paper says to daddies
whose daughters have married scrub
stock: ''rhe father who promptly for
gives child for marriage that disap-
points him is pretty sure to save years of
heart-burnings and unhappiness BY it.''
This is true. The best thing that a dis
appointed pa can do is to buy his unex-
Pected son-in-law grocery and let him
board at the old homestead"
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13

The trappings of the white elephant
OF King Theebaw are said be wo
million dollars. The royal regali
reputed the most valuable in the V
especially in rubies and sapp
Ruby mines exist just north of MI
lay, to which no European has
been allowed access. The Burmal
is, thelafore. likalv to .Hiald II
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13

One day recently Connecticutwom.
an placed whole squash in the oven
to bake. A few minutes afterward 1t
exploded with a loud report, blowing
open the oven doors and throwing frag-
ments of the squash all over the soom.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13
VOL. Kill mo. IS.
PlTH AND POINT.

Memorial windows should be made
OF green glass. This suggests way Of
keeping memory green.-M 0. Pea
yttse.
Poet: I send you my poem, but
perhaps mistook in not writing a re-
frain to it. Editor: No matter, we'll
dothe refraining for you.
-Ottar of roses is now selling at Sl19
pound, and a great deal of suffering
smong poor people is expected this win
ter m consequence. Boston Transcript.
-Nothing makes miscr feel his i'm
poseIlshed Condition so much as to
traVel little and thus discover that
there IS much OF the earth he can never
hope to possess. = Chicago HerutJ
-Boarding-house landladies ;,re as
much afraid of strangers who d., moi
pay in advance as the average man
is of a gun. They are so liapie 90
off without moments warning.
1t is said that man who ea,s
onions always keep a secret This is
partly due to the fact that the III an who
eats onions is rarely allowed to get
within whispering distance of his fellow
men.-Chtcago Mail.
"A man sued another for a note.
Two lawyers on each side were engaged,
score OF witnesses were summoned, q
jury empaneled, and several hundred
citizens crowded the courtroom, as the |
parties were conspicuous citizens. The
court opened and the note was pro-
duced. A close examination showed il
not to be due under eight months.
Court adjourned. Boston Budget.
Father" he asked in his childish
way, suppose you owned silver s.s;ake
way out in Nevada. and you WIS aftssid
it would spoil in hot weather?" s.Spoil!
How?" swell, l dom know how, but
the boys all say you had to use salt to
carry it through, and ! was going to
ask" That's enough, sir. It's al
ready four minutes beyond your usual
bedtime. You can 90 to bed and let the
boys say on. "--WaH Street Nesus.
my DEAR" said an old man on his
daughters wedding morning, "a new
and untried life is before you. You are
putting away forever the light and care
less existence of girlhood and taking up
On yourself the serious responsibilities
Of the wife. Do you feel that you will
the matrimonial altar tonight
with full knowledge of the
solemn vows you there will take. and
~ course, papa; how absurdly you
ak, = replied the young woman. but
We are to have rehearsal this morning
It ten, and must not keep them wait.
n.y. Goodbye, papa. Chicago 7rib-
me.
Then and Now
When You are Young, how well you know
little money makes great show.
just fifty cents will cause you bltss-9
Ills then dollar looks like this:
5
But when you're old and bills come'dus.
And creditors are dunning you,
And every cent you spond you miss,
'Iis then q dollar looks like this:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13
VET so NEW.


sSsf last night, love,
Hke t ~, sweet as the May;
ay M .,iis ne,r grow old, love,
sy on rye you, my darling;
aiss,a T. iove you. most true;
sSs il y story so old, love;
As ny story 80 new"
u me branches.
Tasis aslow:
Yelis with its song u
Aag you know: !
TX you, my darling,
isi. love you, most true;
bth}s story so old, love,
story so new"
* slu, bnt this mnrning,
on &era,, Dent like a flower,
'ricI. n n mil W. me the same story
Ivon i've you, my darling,
AhH is aiove you, most true;
Is me story so old, love
isis the story so new wy
ZEN taE I'm hirk s IN the spring time,
tell ii :, ,n :. o.os sons OF May,
y. .1 ~ been telling to .dav.
IN, I'VE you, my darling;
Pof3 ~ "; rove You, most true;
EA-A1 Is nm nfN
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13

But when you're old and bills come.dus,
And creditors are dunning you,
And every cent you spend you miss,
Ills then q dollar looks like this:
s.
---ChicaQ0 Tribune.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-01-13

HIS tale is told-a grewsome one to tell;
The Cry that rises, vigorous and fell.
Erights the banana fond. 1t is his knell!
They've caught and hung the wretch-ano
done It we'll
nor prayers, nor plants their Justice could
abate.
Pendant, in rather solitary state,
The worthless body swings of him who late
Sinned as related-he deserved his fate!
--ChiCdup Tribune
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

For % years there has not been a
Richmond man hung; but because man
from an adjacent county is convicted for
bringing woman here from another
county and numbering her, the murder
business has been so sensational as to
make people think that Richmond is a
chamber of horrors. With all respect and
kindness to our brethren Of the press,
this is not ne'os in our profession; it is
sensational, and does harm
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24
THOSE PLEDGES.

The Alexandria Gazette has the follow
ing remarks to make concerning another
contradiction in the idea that is being
nursed in certain quarters, and it does
seem as if in this modern age of business
representatives ought to consider the
pledge of intelligence to change legis-
lative acts to suit changed circumstances :
"The Democratic regulators in Vir-
ginia say the Democratic party of the
State must stand by its pledges. But the
highest court in the land, the United
States Supreme Court, says the people Of
Virginia, not the Democratic party of the
State, must stand by their pledge to ac-
cept coupons in payment of taxes; and
the result of the war between the States
demonstrated the fact that the decisions
of that court override not only the plat
forms of party conventions, but the
enactments of State Legislatures"
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The Randall men, as they are called
by the tariff reformers, are holding con-
ferences on a new tariff bill. "The inter
nal revenue tax on tobacco" said Mr..
Wilkins, of Ohio, one of the Randall
men, to Post reporter Wednesday, "will
probably be entirely abolished. | am op-
posed to reducing tax on whisky, but on
fruit brandies the tax may be reduced and
on alcohol for use in the arts. do not
expect there will be large reduction Of
import duty on sugar, but ] expect few
articles may be put on the free list, such,
for instance, as lumber with little or no
labor on it." The free importation of GER
tain grades of coarse wool will be al
lowed by the same schedule.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The Hdee-AppeaI wickedly quotes the
following from an old number of the
Dispatch
"Now what would the MahOneites do
in the event supposed? decision by the
Supreme Court that the Riddleberger bill
was unconstitutional and vOid) Would
they attempt to evade the decision of the
highest court in the land, or to render it
of non effect, or mould they b0ao as becomes
good cittz0aS to that decision and endeavor
to make provision by law as well for re-
ceiving the coupons as for carrying on
the State Government"
But as the Inder-AppeQI persists in
quoting the Dispatch in this manner to
make it contradict itself, it ought really
to compliment our neighbor on the abil-
ity with which it proved the Riddleberger
act to be reputation. The only reason
THE TINES ever quotes the Dispatch in
that direction is in a spirit of admiring
friendship to remind the public of its
ability, just as our highly esteemed con-
temporary, the Wing, recently reviewed
its own past history-leaving out the Ma
hone episode.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

What the deuce have the coupons to do
with the recovery of money as damages
for trespass? The State may choose to
say that she was collecting taxes, but the
court says it was man committing tres
pass, and as the court is carrying out a
principle laid down by higher authority
than the State the opinion Of the court
Overrides the theory of the States posi-
ton in claiming coupons after refusing
them simply because of verdict against
her officers for tresspass.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

We apologize to our esteemed friends
of the Dispatch for saying that they played
the part of the late cock that would
never crow until after sunrise, for this
time it crows before daybreak, and has
taken the moon for the blessed sun just
because that pale luminary rises in the
same place. Or, TO descend from meta
phor to plain words, the Dispatch crows
over the ruling of Judge Hughes that
coupons must be deposited with the court
before proceedings can be instituted.
To return from plain words to meta
phor, Ii may be stated that the eclipse of
the pale orb of night will be the first
thing that win convince our highly-re-
spected contemporary Of the mistake it
has made, and then it will begin to view
the blessed sun through the smoked glass
OF Its own error.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The impoverished and unproductive
lands and the pubic-school system Of
Virginia serve to furnish the average
Virginia politician with all the argument
he requires for his peculiar purposes. He
tells the farmer he pays too much tax,
except that he must always pay enough
to support the public schools, no matter
how much they cost. And so the pOlltl-
clan tries to please everybody, but
especially himself.
Now the "impoverished Virginia farm
err has a right to discriminate in this
matter. If he has children to educate,
he very naturally and properly considers
it his duty to aid in maintaining the pub
lie schools; if he has no children he very
naturally and properly feels a deeper in
terest in himself Including his wife, if he
has one,) than in anybody else, and if he
can save fifty per cent. by paying his
taxes in coupons, which his own State has
agreed to receive in payment of taxes,
there is no sound reason why he should
not avail himself of the privilege.
But he is told, ." If you do that, the
taxes will be raised, and you will have
50 much more to pay" Well, let him
keep or using coupons; they are always
good as a tender for taxes however much
they may be increased.
But the demagOgue next appeals to SEN
timent, of which he has not a particle
himself, and says, "Shame on the Nir-
ginian who refuses to stand by the old
Commonwealth in the hour of her eX-
tremity; pay in money, and scOrn the de
testable coupon"
But let the Impoverished farmer ask
himself-"Wh no says all this what Is
meant by the old Commonwealth is
she more needy than ann
lie will easily find out that "the old
Commonwealth" means the officials who
make her pay every dollar she owes them
for salaries, without abating one cent to
help her in her distress; and, moreover,
that they industriously seek office for the
very purpose of making living out Of
her poverty.
submit that the Impoverished farm
er" has as much right to help himself by
using coupons as the otliceholder has to
help himself by insisting on the use Of
money in paying taxes. The oficeholder
has no idea of helping the old Common
wealth by receiving his salary in coupons
and thus retiring so much of har indebt-
edness; but he has a very determined
purpose of making the property-owner
pay his taxes in money because he wants
his salary in current funds.
Of course, some one will say "All this
is vile and unpatriotic selfshness" Adj
nit it it is no worse than the vile and
unpatriotic selfshness Of the demagogue
who makes the objection. What he don't
know about that kind Of selfshness is
not worth knowing.
Then, again, some one will say, This
allusion to the State officials is an out
rage; they constitute the State Govern
ment," etc.
Well, make your argument, both of us
however recognizing and insisting upon
the necessity of a State Government with
a full complement Of executive, legis-
latiye, and judicial officers. Then we
stand on common ground. DALETH.
Richmond, December 20, 1886.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The Treasury Department calls fol-
more vaults to hold the enormous amount
of silver coin. There are spacious cellars
to the Treasury building, and sometimes
an outsider is permitted to gaze on the
gorgeous spectacle of a score or two of
men shovelling up gold as if it were coal
A tramp once saw this dream of Alad-
din's lamp and was so Disguised that he
hung himself But the view of the silver
heaps causes a totally different feeling
You want to hang the other man.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The subcommittee of the naval com
mittee, in charge of the appropriation
bill-Messrs. Herbert, Sayers and Thomas
met yesterday hnd began work upon
their bill. Chief Clerk of the Navy De-
partment Hogg and Commodore Walker
were before them for a short time, ex-
planning the needs of the department.
As a rule, committee work Is suspended
until January. The subcommittee in
charge of the deficiency and the legisla-
tive appropriation bills have been APP
pointed to sit during the recess and they
will probably do some work.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

Senator Blair's pension bill widens the
scope and takes in a large number of
new benefciaries. There is something
natural in al this, though demagogism
has so great part in it. A country
should reward those who offer their lives
on the altar of war, for besides the feeling
and the patriotism, it sets the example to
future generations to be heroes; but we
draw the line at the mOther-in-laW of the
substitute and sutler
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

Connery, of New York, and General
Viele may be good candidates for the
Turkish mission, but the President ought
to maiurely consider the merits of the
applicants as compared with those Of
Hon. Sunset Cox, recently resigned. 1t is
acknowledged in the highest diplomatic
circles of Europe that Cox is the first
man who ever got joke to succeed on
the Sultan, and that the Light of the
Universe as that potentate is called,
said that Cox was the first Western bar
barian who could explain to him that Jay
Gould was a king and Cleveland only a
President. Before that he could not see
how a republic could live day.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

"The spice of contraband" is the irish
idea to boom the trustee plan of putting
the rents in the hands of intermediate
parties. That has the flavor of "poteen"
to it, and the coercion policy had just as
well give up at once.
"PrO Rege ct Repu5Iioa," as an Irish
motto has it, For the King and the Re
public, both of EN-, begorra
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24
sinuous Sayings About the Sleeper.

A sleeper is one who sleeps. a sleeper is
that in which the sleeper sleeps. A sleeper
is that on which the sleeper which carries
the sleeper while he sleeps runs. There
fore, while the sleeper sleeps in the sleeper,
the sleeper carries the sleeper over the
sleeper under the sleeper until the sleeper
which carries the sleeper jumps Off the
sleeper and wakes the sleeper in the sleeper,
by striking the sleeper under the sleeper,
and there is no longer any sleeper sleeping
in the sleeper on the sleeper.-San Diego
Union
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The United Press correspondent at Os-
kaloosa, Iowa, in describing the fire there
yesterday, writes thus "The whole
heavens were illumined by the lurid
flames which reached nearly across the
street to a livery stable" The young
man ought to write war paper for the
Century, critic.
That is as bad as our able local cotem-
porary who put on the great Chicago
confagration cOlors for the report of that
little Cash Corner fire the other night. a
man coming South read it on the train at
Fredericksburg and thought, until he got
to the last line, that Richmond was wiped
out by the alleged fire fiend."
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

Now Washington loses its grip, for the
festive statesman is gone, the alleged fe-
male lobbyist is non est, and the gay soci-
ETY. will not perform in Folly's court UNI
til New Years Day. The enterprising
clearinghouse keeper has perhaps lost
some dodgers on the promise to return,
AID only the gentleman hummer Of the
Avenue is left to represent Congress.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24
For Alleged

COLUMBUS, December 23.-Proceedings
in quo aoarranto were instituted in the
Supreme Court to-day on behalf of par
ties in Marietta, Ohio, against the Gin
cinnati, Washington and Baltimore and
the Cincinnati, New Orleans and Texas
Pacific railways and their connecting
lines, alleging discrimination in the mat
ter of the shipment of refined oils in
favor Of the Standard Oil Company, of
Cleveland.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24
ALL HAIL.


Hail. SAINT a Klaus,
In thy reindeer team!
Thou still dost seem,
Spite LIES longest pause,
King OF sweet chldhood's fairy dream.
Not age nor realistic laws
DO mar the CLEAN
or fairy gifts and gay gewgaws.
Hank. the jngling bells:
He comes-genius of the Christmastide
Our grandmama she tells.
How she did take a ride
In Santa Klaus sleigh;
But that, as now, was still the way.
Jolly old girl She was bride
Sixty years ago.
If Santa was her beau,
BY Christmas morn he will have SHE'D
Ten thousand gifts, we know.
Then let us dream
OF Santy's reindeer team
And Christmas Snow
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The City Mission provides for the suf.
fering poor, and the people of the city
ought to provide for the City Mission.
A very small contribution from all peo-
pie of average means will help the cause
of charity, which, at this season, ought to
expand with the joyous ebnliition of all
good feelings
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24
Pretty Present for a Bride.

A st. Louis clergyman devised pretty
present for bride whose marriage service
he read the other day. He wrote out the
words of tho ceremony In a pretty little vol
une In which the marriage certificate was
bound, with the autographs of tho BRIDE
maids, the BEST man and the ushers. Chi.
csgo Herald.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

AT the New England dinner in New
York, though Sherman, Sheridan, and
Talmage spoke, it is stated authori-
tatively that the speech Of the evening
was that of Henry Grady on "The New
South" The New York Times says that
in its four score years the New England
society has not heard a speech better worth
hearing and thinking about.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

Fatty Walsh just chosen warden of
the tombs in New York, is typical ward
pot-house politician, and it is said is the
result, in his present official position, ;of
the fraternal agreement between the
Democratic factions.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

Another oculration of the Presidential
policy as bad as that of the recent cleo
tion occurred when the name of colored
statesman Matthews was again sent to the
Senate for that District office.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

We should not be surprised if some
body, we won't say who, should attempt
TO fix the identity Of that cold Man on
Santa Klaus
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

McQuade is victim of the unlucky
omen contained in the number 10. He
lived at No. 113, and the noted combine"
had 10 members. The Doodle franchise
was granted on the 18th of the month.
He was arrested on the 18th, and there
were 10 exceptions made by his counsel.
Finally his two names contain just Is
letters.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

The Washington Post makes an able
appeal to restore the ancient art of to-
bacco expectoration as a qualification
for statesmen, and refers to the plaintive
wall of the House committee on the in
jury to the carpets on account of congress
sional lack of craftsmanship in hitting
the spittOOn.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24

That picked anecdote about the
drunken man who saw an infant pair Of
twins, and was just sober enough to say
that there was only one baby, will not
work
under the chestnut tree.)
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-12-24
4 Family Holocaust.

AsHTABULA, O., December 23.-The
home of Caleb Russell, VINO lived in few
miles of Ashtabula, was totally destroyed
by fire this morning. Russell and his
wife, an aged couple, died of suffocation,
and their son, aged 40, was burned to a
crisp.