Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-31
BRIGHT BITS.

OUR FRIEND Primus Tucker has dog that
he calls ILLOGICAL Inference because it
doesn't follow Teoas Sifttngs.
ANOTHER CHICAGO MAN has invented an
aerial machine. People VIII take desperate
chances to get away from Chicago,--PhtL1-
deiDhiG CAL.
AN EXCHANGE thinks there will be a great
failing off in Newport visitors this season. As
Newport is in Rhode Island they wouldn't
have to go far to fall of.-BurLingt0n Free
Press.
IT WAS DUE.-"Is there boat due?" James
demanded at the steamboat office
Yes, there is the ROderick Dhu." The re-
Spouse nearly gave James tltz, James said
afterwards. 1t was only by flying preciDi-
talelv that the agent got off Scott free.-Iesds
Sften0s.
The quickest way for Turkey to put the
Ga eeks 10 flight would be for the sultan to IN
duce Minister Sunset Cox TO go to the front and
relate some of his kes TO the enemy. II the
Greeks didn't 'enteuthen exelaunei" double
quick time, 1t would be because they were
dead.-NoT9oich Bulletin.
A FASHION paper says s'intense mourning
IS voted vulgar in ''reHned circles" 1t is sup
pos d that intense grief is also considered low
IN high toned circles. 1t is a wonder the
members OF ''refined circles" don't make a
move to baaish death altogether, as it Is an
old fa-hiOn INDUCED in by the very poorest
aud unreaned. -NOys iStOa0n Herald.
WIFE docking over the paperl-i see that
an organ grinder has been assaulted in Mon
treal.
husband-Who assaulted him?
Wiie-No name Is given. The paper simply
says an American gentleman.
Husband-Why did he assault him?
Wlie-For playing Home. Sweet Home."-
Puck.
MANAGER Ito Western tragedian)- Wh hat do
| you think OF trip through Texas, Ham?
Western Tragedian-'Sdeath; think most
| iii of it.
Manager-why?
Western observation-disclosures, forsooth,
see by the market quotation in me morning
paper-r-r that eggs are but eight cents a
pozen there.-NeaC York Times.
"WHo was that lady you bowed to so DO
litely Just now? Her face looks very familiar
| to me-"
20. that is my divorced wife-my first one. 3"
why, thought you had terrible row
| when you parted"
$50 we dId, but we are good friends now
| You see, her present husband keeps saloon
and she often tends bar during his absence.
| or course IN polite to her. Whenever drop
in and she is there 1t doesn't cost me a cent. d."
| Aud then he softly whistled, "Should old
| acquaintance be forgot?" and mis- friend re-
membered that it is said that when a woman
once loves man she loves him forever.-Phit-
ddeiDhtG He' did.
A GENTLEMAN Just returned from New York
| tells us that one day he sat in the editorial
| room of the World chatting with Editor Pu-
| liter when the foreman came in and said he
needed half column more Of editorial mat
| ter.
EXCUSE me-" said Mr.. Pulitzer, taking up
| pen. II will edit so much in a liddle vhile -
| and away he ratified, dipping his penholder
| half way into the ink and daubing his fingers
| and his desk
what makes you dip your pen so deep into
| the ink?" asked the visitor after the great ed =
| itor had ceased writing.
"Vot makes me? Wy, man. look at our cir
| gulatlOn! have to write tor a million peoples
| to read. Dink Of dOtr-Chicd0O Means.