Evening star., 1886-08-14
Saturday Smiles.

An advertisement reads: "Wanted, q young
man to be partly out Of doors and partly be-
asks: "What will be the result when the door
slams?"
Customer Ito bartender)-My physician tells
me that must drink nothing but little gin
with plenty OF milk. Have you got any fresh,
pure milk?
Bartender-Sorry, sir, but we haven't drop.
Customer un disappointed tone)-Is that SO?
Well, gimme some gin. 1 must do the best
can.
well, am glad that the summer is nearly
over said a sojourner at Lake Minnetonka.
"ToO many mosquitoes" queried bystander.
"Oh, I've got SO dom mind such little trities ~
replied the summer resident. "Your wife with
your" "Yes, but that don't bother me very
much. The worst trouble is that I'm tired OF
working for enjoyment. want to go back to
the city and rest."-1Sx. Paul Globe
Gimme mint julep," said stranger in an
Atlanta barroom, land don't make it too
sweet"
"No liquors sold here, sir" replied the bar
tender. This is prohibition town. If you
want anything to drink you've got to buy a
quart bottle OF straight whisky"
The Del Rio CTex.) Dot is edited by a young
| lady. She remarks; "Man proposes, but It
sometimes takes great deal OF encOuragement
to get him to do So
The Rev: & Nh Unity was quite liberal, but SO
abSent-minded They We're making up a
whist party, when Miss Mabel said to HIM:
Beans is going to take hand and be my
partner" MIR. Unity wakes up with a start,
anu OIcdhS CNCAJUOOy ny TcIudfkl0T. "lsn
| this rather sudden? Have you got a iicense?''
Doctor.-But, honored madame, why did Won
not let me before be called? Your husband lies
indeed in highest deiirium.
Madame.-Ies, see you, SO long as nav hus-
band by his understanding was, would he
nothing to do With doctor have.-From ne
GefnldiI.
"Why, Jennie, thought you were coming
down on Mr.. Gatf's tally no."
II intended to, but found couldn't. You
see, just before starting found didn't have
q QmhrOidRrad tneL in, rI,o
house,,
"Oh, we'll, then of course you couldn't"
"How Is this, son-in-law; you went to the ball
last night and here 1t is scarcely two months
since you lost your wife?"
II acknowledge it, belle mamma, but then,
you know, dance SO sadiy."-French Fts,..
"How They Dine in Berlin" is the title of an
article recently printed in the Sun. We did
not read the article, because we felt that We
could tell the whole story in three words: OH
their knives.-Euck.
Young Miss Boston.-Do you play Chopin?
Young Miss Chicago.-Chopin! Chopin!
Miss Boston.-Why, yes, Chopin.
while, OF course, but the girls in our set prefer
tennis.-BostOn Transcript.
. Scrawley.-Writinga any stories now?
Scribbier-No; what's the use? There is too
much competition to admit of any prof Is in
the literature business. When you can get
Shakespeares complete works for twenty five
cents what's the use of trying to compete with
foreign authors?-Ieans6ier.
Druggist-Well. my little man. what can do
for you?
Boy want 10 cents worth of cochineal and
cents worth of hay seed.
Druggist-What do you want cochineal and
hay seed for?
Boy-Me mudder is maxim some strawberry
Ice cream for the church picnic.-Ne,0 York
Tines.
lnquisitive SOn-Papa what does the word
"alleged" mean, which see used so much?
EditOr-Well, 1t means-hem-"re reported" /"
pretended, supposed TO be-" and the like.
'Bnt don't understand. papa. Now, what is
an alleged business man for instance?n
"An alleged business man, my son, is q man
who doesnt advertise. e."-fhitadelphiu CuH
Undertaker-And what kind OF trimmings
will you have on the casker?
Widow-None Whatever; u plain casket It
was trimmin's that killed him.
Undertaker-What?
WidOw-Yes. Delirum trimmin's