The Washington critic., 1886-11-04

lUe HOnBSJ Clc1k, WUoSc up Who p"t,'
ering like child 8, "of two thousand n
year, which don't mind telling you I
Is much more than either Ellington or
| earned when we were your age.
They stood there looking at the sales
man with all the kindness in the world
but he could not speak. He had hoped
to be promoted FIVE years hence, per.
haps, but to have 1t come so suddenly
and now, and to find the two great bug
bears of the house such kindly and
cordial men, was little too much for
him. He blindly put out his hand and
the two milionaircs shook 1t warmly,
and then Mr.. Tidd went back to his
laCes mistily.
The partners stood side by side for q
long while without speaking, aud then
Cash said to Ellington:
"Its q great many years, David,
since you and [ we're abashed in the
presence of the head of the firm, eh2
Somehow feel as though we'd done
good deed this morning, though / cant
tell exactly how. Shall we go to lunch
nowY'
After the arm of the fortunate sales.
man had been duly shaken by his fel-
lows Mr.. Tidd felt sufficiently com.
posed to write and send the following
note TO his bosom friend In the we'll
known glove house of Bing, Flamme
& Jonsing, further up Broadway:
DIR. BnII-B. & q. lust called yrs truly
into the office and put me in charge OF laces-
s2CC0 per. GRIT surprise. Now I'll DO II sure
Ps-B. & g. acted like trumps.
Mr.. 1'idd was already in the restau
rant when Billy Van Kick strobe in
with the wealth of cuff and naughty
| mien of the masher of repute. He was
notable man. A casual aud ignorant
observer might have put him down at
| first glance for a narrow ehested young
person, endowed with q striking ampli-
tude of hands and feet and thwarted-
| looking mustache. Billy Van Kick
| was comparatively. unknown to fame
when he Glanced to remark one day to
q friend, as they were coming from
| Newark on train, that he had no
ticed girl on the Jersey City boat the
previous night who had freckle
on her thumb. Three days later
| the belle of Newark slashed Billy
Van Kick vigorously with n COW.
hide, and the event was telegraphed
all over the world. The belle of
Newark announced with flashing eyes
that no man could state with impunity
that Jersey girls had freckled thumbs,
and that she would defend the good
| name and honor of her sisters of the
State with her life. She was instantly
photographed in seventy. three different
poses, engaged to be married by cable
to the Prince of Wales, and lavish
terms were offered to her to recite
Hustler jim" in Washington. Two
| days later she started West at the head
of great combination, playing the
heroine in For Honor's Sake; or, the
Hand That Swings the Cowhide is the
Hand That Makes the Man." but
learned to smoke opium in Chicago,
and subsequently eloped with an An
archist named U. Jean Theeldt.
| During this time the entire press Of
America teemed with pictures of Billy
Moloney, King Ludwig, Congressman
Hewitt, Mother Mandlebaum, the King
of Abyssinia, Phil Dwyer, G. NJ. Rich
mond, Lieutenant Hem, the Tichborne
claimant, the Burmese twins, aud
other celebrities, each one duly labeled
an accurate likeness of Billy Van
Kick, and that gentleman received
200 love letters from young women
within the week. The great glove
house OF Bipg, Flamme & Jonsng
offered him five times the salary he
was receiving in Newark, and he
moved to New York, taking the posi-
tion in society and business circles to
which his fame justly entitled him.
In seeking the advice of such man
as this, p. Livingston Tidd felt that he
could not 90 astray. After they had
finished their luncheon, and Mr.. Van
Kick was revelipg in the turgid deli.
cacies of plum pudding with hard
sauce, Mr.. Tidd, who could not eat a
mouthful said:
"And now, Billy, having finished
business, let's turn to softer subject.
feel that the hour can no longer be
delayed. My bed feels 'sif was filled
with tin kettles; | cant lie still a
minute, and as for eating-it's a bur-
lesque."
"Is that new.43 dollar. broad ribbed
diagonal cutaway suit of yours home
from the tailOr'sy asked the pride OF
Bing, Flamme e Jonsing, looking
shrewdly over his pudding spoon.
Game las night. But somehow
don't care for clothes now, Bill"
$50 cat brick" said Mr.. Van
| hllth, WIN iiDN
you gointer win n girl without clothes
You want to put on that suit an-an
yes, overgaiters."
"What p cried Tidd. ooh, say,
that's coming it too strong"
"overgaiters,', repeated Van Klick,
firmly, "a plug hat-Ive got clipper
that you can have, size, six and three.
eighths-and red rose. What a
| ,t to
her SOUL" said the speaker, impress
lively, drawing on his profound expe,
rience in matters of the heart, sis style.
BE toney and you're winner"
Then Mr.. Van Kick made draft of
note, which the lover, who was be-
coming maudlin as the night grew
near, tremblingly copied and sent to
the address of the plncid.faced young
woman. She was thus informed thai
Mr.. Tidd had been elevated in business
to place of great importancei that his
income had been doubled; that 1t
yearned for companionship and found
single existence hollow, and that he
would call that evening at 8. Haring
dispatched the note Mr., Tidd wen
about his duties so llustercd, agitated
and perturbed that he hadn't the faint
est of notions where he was. At
o'clock he dashed nervously up towr
in his Office coat, entered the wrOn.
room in Mrs, McPherson's, sang
; hymn with turbulent vehemence
whistled with species of breathIes
! frenzy, refused to go to dinner in
voice of savage irritabiity, and whel
Billy Van Kick arrived with tn
over CATERS, red rose and plus
hat, he was received with cold disdain