Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-12-02
WOES OF A CANDIDATE.
Schemes That are Devised for
Making Politicians Come Down
With the Cash.

Making FOllLlClduS OOIhO DO"h
With the Cash.
A young man wearing serious air
and billious-lookIng straw hat walk
ed briskly into the sheri ff's office. The
binding Of his Prince Albert coat had
lOosened its hold in many places, and
the lapels bore the finger marks OF
long struggle with hard times. a
fray I'd black tie had climbed high on an
oyerworked collar, and his shoes looked
rs if they wanted to breathe away their
wearied spirits on garbage pile.
In tones mysterious and deferential,
and with Observation-Disclosures ex-
preston on his face. he inquired for
Canute r. Matson, the Republican
candidate for sheriff. Being shown in
to that gentleman's private Office, he
took the candidate aside and began
'Mr. Matson, | have the honor TO be
grand worthy Begun OF the Desplaines
Street scandinavian IncoTruptible Po-
litical and Social Club. We have on
our roles the names of 800 of the most
Influential citizens on the west side.
We are independent in politics, but
having investigated the character of
-
'Certainly-I understand-you are
going to fit up headquarters for the
purpose of carrying on an unrelenting
warefare against corruption in politics.
How would IA flyer suit you p
The young man took the proffered
bank note and departed.
That's the hundreth and fftieth
club I'Ye been asked to help the big
blonde candidate sighed. Every ward
has half dozen. There are Matson
clubs, Davis clubs, clubs with fanciful
names, and clubs with out names. A
half-dozen needy gentlemen get togeth-
er in The back room or saloon and
organize club.
Are any other schemes worked on
luckless candidates p
Mr. Matson turned an injured, in
credulous expression on the questioner.
Look at this, he said, as he pulled a
drawer from his desk. 1t Contained
three or four dozen blue, red, yellow,
lavender, or rose .colored bits of paste
board. 'All tickets TO benefits that
will never benefit anybody except the
committee for balls which no one
will dance, and entertainments that
will entertain OILY a few fellows in
hard luck.
what else ? Well, cast your eye
over that, and the weary candidate
took a religious weekly paper of hi:
desk.
In one of the columns was number
OF cards printed in large display type
'Vo;e for Z. r. Matson for sheriff,
was marked with heayy-blue penci
lines. Vote for George Il. Davis foI
treasurer. Vote for Michael Schweis
thai for treasurer, and on through The
list of candidates of both parties The
advertisement ran.
Nobody escaped, you see. Well al
get the bills before election. did moi
order the card, and the other candi
dates were probably not consulted
This IS tie newest scheme that ha:
been sprung on us, and 1t looks like
good one
That isn't all. Fifty newspaper:
have been started since the campaign
began. Either of them will support
the candidate who gives it the most
money. Each has a large circulation
among the laboring classes ; it is a
family paper and reaches every home 10
Chicago. Then comes the illustrated
papers. They will print your picture
and a sketch of your life for a consid
Grafton. Then you will be asked tc
purchase thousand or two copies
DO these fellows make any money 2
They must profit by their schemes oil
there wouldn't be so many of them.
Many weakened candidates give up,
The 'touchers' often make threats OF
opposing the election of candidates who
refuse to come down, and scare them
into buying the schemers off. A can
didate's life is an unhappy one. There
comes suspicious-looklng party. he
probably has a child to bury. or his
mother-in law is dying, or his landlord
is about to turn him into the street.
He's a lifelong Republican, and can
help me in his ward. I'll just step out
at the side door. Good day.
Not Worth Much.