Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-02-12
HuMDuRGIN.
Mr.. EDITURE:


When got home frum yer town l l
uz most ded frum walken OH that s
lie rode. Did yu ever try it Mr..
1iture? Well, l woodent advise
4 tn fur its easyer and quicker tn {
de. But what l sat down to rite
Il bout is what an audacious scrape
nat a Teller got intu jist last week.
u see one NV Old Juners gals wuz
wyen tn marry galute by the
anne NV Prowler, likely young TEL
er frum Bumpaw. Well, tn make a
hort tale long he cum down tn our
louse an axed me tn ride his hoss
IN 60 over arter parsen Wisdom tn
lie the fatal not fur them. Well,
when l got tn the parsons l wuz
most froze, as it wuz, and don't yu
,hink he wuz gone way over tn the
other eend of the county tn marry |
sum chaps. Well, l wuz kinder
stumped fur yu see Prowlcr told me
tn be sartin an bring sumbody tn
marry them, fur he he'd bot the Ii
sense an dident want them tn be
wasted. Besides Old Mrs. Juner and
the gals he'd made a hcep NV Pie and
kakes and things and aXed ever so
many tn the wedin. So l desided tn
get that Square Booy what is so
square yu no tn go with me and say
the speech to EN-. Well, he sed hede
90 if wood stand fur the fee. l
told him Ide Civ him credit on his
account he owed me. That sorter
stumped him at fust but finely he
lowd hede go. So he put on his
store cloze and borrowed new hat
frum the store and bot five cents
worth of fiat terbacker and five stogy
segars, hitched his boss in notop
buggy and we cut out fur Juner's.
Yu see the weddin wuz tn cum off at
3 ur'clock, so we hurried up like the
mischiff. Well, when we got on
Redoke hill told him tn jist drive
rite on an Ide go by arter Malindy
and the groom that wuz to be. SO |
got home and tuck Malindy and
Prowler and hurried rite oyer tn
Juner's spectin tn find the Square
there awatin, but nobody he'd seed
him. So arter watin while they all
lowd mebe he he'd got lost. So me
and 10 Merritt frum yer town started
afoot tn see if we cud find out whu
had becume NV the drafted rascal
We tuck a mere way down to thu
creek whut's bout three hundred
yards frum Juner's and when we go
in site we seed him cumin on tothel
side so 10 SEE to me, SEE he, lets don't
let him sec us so we hid. lie driN
rite in and stopped tn let the col
drink where its bout too feet deel
and as clear as can be. He wuz sayii
over his seremony. All tn once HI
looked all round tn see if anybody
wuz in site, then taken out a pin
bottle outen his pocket, whut l diden
no he had, turned her up jist a
material as cud be, but sum how sun
of the sperits got down his Sunda!
throte. Well sur, whut koffin ant
a goin on yu never herd. We seet
J sumthin fly outen his mouth. ant
} drop in the water. l thot 1t wuz
pece NV the bottle maybe he had bi
off and got choked on. But 10 Mer
: rit sed it wuz his new falls teeth ant
SO it turned out tn be. Well, he driN
out and stopped and got out Nv hi
buggy and got pole and tribe tn ge
t EN- out but he cudent make it. Wei
sur, yu can imagine our surpriz
when we seed the Square begin t
| shuck his cloze. He tuck off ever
| thing but his shirt and one sleeve u
. his kote. He throde his cloze in hi
| buggy and in he went, which WI
more than Ide dun fur all the ia
teeth in the State that cold day. We
bout the time he got his teeth an
started out that drafted boss g
skeered at a hog and started up Ii
rode in purity smart trot. Well su
yud dide tn NV herd the Squal
holler who, no, Billy, wo, no! Bl
it wernt no use fur the drafted no!
got faster and faster with the Squal
runin his best about 20 yards ahiu
the buggy. Bout this time 10 Merr
and me hollered at him time ur tt
but he dident peer tn here us alta
W So we tuck out arter him tn see VIII
wood be the eend Nv the matter. v
kept in site and jist afore he got
the house he ketched holt NV the hi
gate Nv the buggy but he. wuz so
NV breth he cudent holler wo, nur
20 so he went by Old Juner's in Il
stile runin over three ur fore NV {
ed Mrs. Juner's gese and kilen EN- G
he rite. Well, everybody herd en-
u. cumin and wuz out on the fro
Id PLACER, gals and all. But if yu C
d; NV herd him boiler you wood NV di
m most, "IIed us sumbody, here
g,s cum, he'd usw Bout this time h
ID cum the dorgs and tuck arter the
tie which skeered the colt worser and
life got faster so the Square jerked 10
wo fist as they was goin thru d.
The mud hole bout a hundred yards al
in they passed the house. Well, su
reckon he wuz the aufulest loo
ov- site you ever seed, muddy, d.
rug talkl A lot NV fellers tuck hin
the stable and by the time we
the mud ofen him sum boys c
leedin the boss and buggy back. 4
had met EN- in the lane and ketc
him. So we Civ him sum sperits
got his cloze back OH him. His
,ble wuz so sore he cudent put his 81
/ of OH, so we had tn rap EN- up in
,on- saddle blankets. Well sur, don
hat think we cudent git him tn 60 to
hey house no way? He jist got in
life buggy. and!lit out fur home.
de- Well sur, when the bride found
; it the Square wuz gon shore huff
in tuck hur a big cry fur yu see it
ros- the fust chance shede had s.
Cuzin Sol Rogus korted hur, and
now aXed him tn excuse hur, and h
east his modesty excused hur. But
;uch luckyest thing happend that cud
ON pen. Square Anderson, frum
town, happend tn be in the beet
here tionerin, so sum Nv the boys had
for there in no time most and he f
% a EN- up in town stile terrectly.
,rch Now Square Booy is most 81
But tn deni the above stated fax,
\, & can prove EN-, so don't care.
bet No more frum yer friend til Diet
md BILL RoGI
the P. S.-Mr. Editure, l wuz !
glad tn see so good letter frum
the Bluff Springs correspondent. 1