Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-03-25

Ae7nhaat 1yayeller.
Fencing may be manly art, hut not |
one farmers son in dozen takes TO IL |
kindly. st ADAMS Messenger.
A well-to-do old man in Parkman, Me-,
does not chew gum, as most Maine people
do, but eats it as be would eat a dough
nut. Boston Hsrald,
"John, what is the best thing to feed q
parrot on ~ asked an elderly lady Of her
bachelor brother, who hated parrots.
Arsenic grufiy answered John. Er-
change.
It is better for one man to act the
entire play of Damon and Pythias" than
it is to have whole company of amateurs
doing the butchering, Neto Orleans
Ptcastae.
A farmer once called his COW Zephyr"
She seemed such an amiable hephyr,
When the farmer drew near
She kicked or his ear,
And now the old farmers much dephyr.
-Ercltaage.
Ida Socks of Eaton, Pa, has four hus-
bands. The men who married her made
mistake but, when man takes Socks,
it is natural for him to put his foot in it.
--LoOei Citizen.
1t was Congress street 4-year-old who,
when asked what God did, replied "Oh,
he's up in heaven, and when folks die
and go there he puts wings on 'em and
let's 'em fly arcund."-St. Adams Mes
se1lger.
Mr.. @. @. Perry, of Georgia, bit an
| eightpenny nail in two with his teeth last
week, If his example should prove con-
tagious, we may look for speedy revival
of the iron industry at the South.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
A man was accidentally hit by pigs
foot" in a New York liquor saloon yester-
day, and general fight was the result.
There are pigs feet in some Boston So
looms, and our legislature ought TO legis-
late on pigs feet. Boston Herald.
/ asked brilliant young lawyer, who
has lately made Atlanta his home, how
the people had impressed him. He said .
81 think it is people that will drive
hard bargains with you all day, and at
night spend all the profits in making You
comfortable. "-AtldntG Constitution.
Dinner Table-Little Millie to her
father, who has given her the smallest
| piece of pie on the plate,-" Papa, why
is my piece of pie like Europe?" Papa,
thoughtfully-"I don't know; why is it?
Millie-'' Because it is the smallest of the
grand divisions" Fact.
We would make an earnest appeal to
every student to look at things as they
are, and, from the conviction that must
necessarily follow, reyolutionize college
opinion, so that the cribber will be re-
garded cheat worthy only of ostracism.
Harvard Crimson.
Mrs. Potter has already this season
made $50, 900 for the different charities
for whose benefit she has acted, and it is
now proposed that she should give per.
Torrance for the professional actors who
have not begun to find this such sue
cessful season as she has Washington
Letter.
In after years, when the question il
asked, "Who was the most distinguished
survivor of the soldiers in the great war
of the rebellion ?" the answer will be,
"The man who did not write an article on
the battle of Shiloh" That is, of course
if there should be such a one.-Bost0n
Transcript.
The New York Tribune says: "Somt
American Thackeray ought to arise and
put Jakey Sharp in novel; From Ger
tain limitations in the New York press, il
would appear that great many people il
that city would prefer to have him put il
o prison. N0rTiStOioH Herald.
.. Mr., Coldcash-Well, little Essie, aren'
you going to kiss your uncle? Essie Gag,
D-No, indeed, I'm not. Mr.. Coldcasl
And why not, little darling2 Essie-
: Because there's your wife looking on anC
don't want to make trouble in tn
family!-Onicd9o Rambler.
A little girl, very much excited, rnshet
into the parlor, which was full of com
pany, and exclaimed Mamma, JUS
j think of it." "Think of what, darling 2
: sour cat has whole lot of twins, and
!, didn't even know she was married.
s Texas SJttngs.
: Inventor Edison's Wedding may hay
q been q recherche affair, but we see h
i wore Prince Albert coat all tae same
i This sort of thing may be au fait in Ohio
n but it would have been de trop in Illinois
y No bridegroom can be a success in Ill
nois unless he wears spike-tail Goa
especially rented for the OCCASION
Chicago NetoS.
a The suicide of Mrs. Lucy Grimes Boy
j. of Paducah has moved st. Louis poe
|. to this rash act:
! Poor, sweet, Lucy Matson Grimes,
u Stained with precious blood not with crime
8 Sleeps near her native river,
e Whose living waters shall deliver
j, Her messages.
u At latest advices the poet was sti
l. eluding the police. Gazette.
! ''If the government will make an est
h mate of how much it has cost to hun
I, hostile Indians in Arizona and Ne
+, Mexico during the last three years il wi
N find the sum would have paid the e,
N penses of removing every Indian from Il
j San Carlos reservation to the India
Al Territory and purchased every squaw
10 sewing machine, and every papoose
% rattle and modern prayer book. y.
= Tucson Star.
IN Three little dudes all on spree,
of Three little canes and three little hats,
s. Three little straws with sangaree--
Gay little dudes are we.
Three little dudes all on n bat
Three little Sims piled in a hack
Three little heads without hat
Tired little Sims are we
he Three little dudes and three little beds
q. Three big doctors, three swelled heads,
n Three little ombstones-epitaphs read
II loiu llttle uudes are We"
lu st. Paul Globe.
&C. III stage playing is acting the fool, al
,al tie creator the fool the more popular I
he actor. Booth could play a crazy role al
We still be esteemed sane, probably beoau
eh he played artificially; but played tho
er parts so naturally that they took me I
M. the fool which 1 portrayed, thus the
on grandiloquent, self-elated newspap
on critics have stamped the life out OF !
ms humble self by crying forth their favor
, omnivorous hash, eggs and cabbage. /"
BY d.. Laadia IF "HamJet" fame.
in Unfortunate accidents continue to ha
'er pen to innocent murderers. Graham
his Springfield, Mo-, who is in jail for mi
ore dering his wife, had just such an aecide
, a happen him as happened to our 0,
nd Stevans, who is now languishing in Jat
OF son. Il threw up my hand, said
IN gulleless Graham, in his confession, .
ward off the blow, and the knife stru
her OH the left side of the throat
is very sorry about it, but it was all
the accident, and he hopes he will be +
ted given. Missouri people, however, to ,
q a slang phrase, will see him hanged fiji
mi Detr0st Free Press
ia There goes II man whose clothes are pIs
ny Homey his face aud fare,
tue Yet everybody honors him,
ort Because they know he's
"