St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-08-14

CHEAP ROARDHNG.HO
And the Torture Unfortunate Vic.
tiMls Undergo.


Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hello. Jim!'
''Hellor"
Flows trickS?"
''Slow"
''Where are you boarding now?"
con Seventh"
Live high?"
''High h-llI'
whats the mattere"
'Nothin'. 'Spose my clearinghouse is
like the average, brick or pine boards on
the outside and bedbugs and strong butter
on the inside"
I'm sorry for YOU"
well, you needn't be- There are other
fools besides ME. thank heaven! The city
is full of boarding houses, and every one of
them has its suffering victims l can stand
the tough meat and walking butter because
If l can't stomach the stuff | can let it
alone, and by hook and crook raise nickel
and enjoy free lunch down street But
it's the lack of sleep that breaks me all up
Let me give you my last nights expert
ence.
''Where board there are half dozen
small rooms facing the hall, and during the
summer the transoms over the doors OF these
rooms are kept open. Last night I went
to bed at II. / had no more than crawled
into bed before the landlady's daughter COM
monced to pound the piano for all that's
out. She has no more idea about music
than mule but that did not hinder her
t rom attempting all the popular airs OF the
day. Well. she worried with that piano
an hour before she became tired, for when
she let up the clock struck 10!
Says /. [ will have some sleep now.
But nary wink of sleep. There came a
noise from an adjoining room, and such a
noise! 1t was snOre, and ripper from
the word go. The fellow had the business
down to fine art. He would start way
down and gradually rise until the very
chair in my room would dance and kick
itself against the wall in agony. How l
did ache for storm to come! / wanted a
regular cyclone-one that would sweep the
house and not leave a grease-spot. l was
willing to die for the sake of having that
internal snorer, accompanied by the piano
FOUNDER, sent to eternity at that moment
But no cyclone came. They never do when
wanted. They are like the police: when
they might do some good they amt to be
found. The fellow kept up his devilish
work until l couldn't stand it any longer.
Ihen got up, unlocked my door, took
chair and threw 1t against the door of the
room where the tiend was in sweet repose
with such force that you would have
thought the whole house had taken tum-
bic. That ended the snoring business for
the night. | rubbed my shns and then
lay down again.
1.-The clock struck 1!
sleep will come now, thought. but it
didn't. | thought of everything good and
bad, and then tried to think of nothing so
as to force sleep, but no go. Then in the
deep silence of the night there came quietly
stealing over me something warm and
alive and full Of vinegar and life-a bed
bug-hungry. and not very particular as to
what he tackled. And [ found that he
wasn't alone, but accompanied by host OF
friends and relations, and the way they
went Tor me was caution. Now, where
do you suppose they came from so sud-
denly? Why didn't they appear while the
piano FOUNDER and the snorer were at
work? Have no taste for music, perhaps.
Wen, L stood the racket for nearly an hour,
trying my level best to down the bugs. but
1t proved failure. They were too much
for me. and was compelled to get up and
light the lamp. Great guns! l found the
bed fairly loaded with them. Says I, no
more OF that for me. I'll sit up for the bal
ahce OF the night L got a chair, put 1t
close to the window, blew out the light and
then sat down, hinging my legs over the
wlndow-sill, where they could enjoy the
soft, caressing night breeze.
1.-The clock struek2!
"Ihen l got to MISUNDERSTANDING what
a great world this is and what terrible
thing it was to be born poor and be COM
PEELED to exist in cheap boarding houses.
and that's the last / remember. / must
have fell asleep and had a nightmare, for
when awoke it was with scream, and at
the same time tumbIed from my chair to
the floor. But my feetI if there weren't
still out OF the window-fastened out The
window had dropped down on my ankles
with such force as to awaken me with a
jump and scream, as the pain was just
awful. and tumbling off the chair only
helped to make the strain on my ankles more