davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15
No Use for Forks.

A young professor in an Illinois seminary
was engaged to be married TO the daughter
of wealthy farmer. On the day of the we'd
ding, the bridegroom was driving in buggy
over country road in the direction of his
prospective father-in laws house. Not fami-
liar with the ueighborhood he stopped in
front of dilapidated log-cabin, and inquired
of lank man who was leaning against rail
fence
as this the way to Mr. Podders ?"
The ank man hitched up his trousers, and
said,-
"Be you goin' to Mr. Podder's2"
That's where the doin's is tonight. His
darter's goin' to be hitched."
Eyes"
who's she goin' to git?"
"a man named Thompkns," said the blush
ing bridegroom.
rs he any goodP"
pretty poor stick, I've been told"
"Has he got any styleP"
Not much"
"Well," said the man, with sigh of relief,
I'm glad he's such poor shoat, for my gals
has got an invite to the weddin, an | heard
nobody could go that couldn't eat with their
forks My gals can't eat with their forks,
but reckon I'll let 'em go. Podder's is two
miles straight ahead"
A GRECIAN sculptor, charged with adorn-
ing a lofty temple, was chided by his en-
ployers because he fashioned the upper sur
face of the capitals which surmounted his
pillars with the same exquisite handiwork
and elaborate care which he bestowed on
the carvings within reach of every visitor
who might stand ON the pavement.
They said to him: "Why do you waste
your skill where no human eye can ever be-
hold it Only the birds of the air can perch
in such place"
The sculptor raised his eyes, lifted for
moment his chisel from the stone, replied,
"The gods will see itg and resumed his
task.
If the work is done for Gods eye, it viii
surely bring great and precious reward.
A WISE FATHER.--Said youth to ply
stefan, II have come to ask you for the hand
of your daughter. l have enough of this
worlds goods to support her in comfort,
even in luxury"
Eyes, am aware of that, but will you
treat her kindlyp Will you be gentle hus-
band~
"Sir, swear"
"Oh never mind swearing. Your inten-
tons are all right, no doubt, but / must be
sure that you won't worry and fret the life
out of her. Take off your coat and let me
sound you to see what kind Of a liver you've
got" tf
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15
VOL. XXXI----NO. AZ.
VARIETIES.

Wonder if the sea serpent could swallow
all the stories that are told about him.
Misery may like company, says an Irish
philosopher, "but I'd rather have the rheu-
matism in one leg than in both"
-Mamma-"Frankie, you are eating those
green apples again ?" Frankie-"No mamma !:
I'm eating some Others"
"A queer old gentleman being asked what
he wished for dinner replied IAN appetite.
good company, something to eat, and nap
kin p
There is no knowledge for which 80
great price is paid rs knowledge of the
world and no one ever became an adept in
it except at the expense Of hardened and
o wounded heart
1t is within the scope of each boys effort
to avoid that indolent, flabby, half-hearted
habit of mind and body which make all life
failure. "Be earnest" says Kingsley.
DO what thou dost as if the stake were heaven,
And this thy last deed ere the Judgment day p
-"Oh, Clara, did you see that Miss Aston
was married the other day?"
"Was she, dearie? l hope the wedding
was happy one"
"Oh, it must have been. Why she had a
satin train three yards long"
"A Scotch dominic, after relating to his
scholars the story of Ananias and Sapphire,
asked them why God did not strike every-
body dead who told a lie?" After long 81
lence one little fellow got TO his feet and ex-
claimed, Because, sir, there wadna be ony-
body left"
"A man may read law and become law
yer; he may study medicine and be called
doctor; but if he wants to be blacksmith he
must work at his trade.
How much property did Vanderbilt
leaye" inquired gentleman the other day.
"All he had, was the prompt reply.
Yes" said the Chairman sadly, "our
temperance meeting last night would have
been more successful it the lecturer hadn't
been so absent minded"
What did he do ~
Tried to blow the foam from glass of
water"
"A lady once consulted Dr. johnson on
the turpitude to be attached to her sons rob-
bling an orchard. Madam" said johnson,
at all depends upon the weight of the boy.
My school-fellow David Garrick, who was
always little fellow, robbed dozen of or
chards with impunity but the very first
time | climbed n tree-tor | was always
heavy boy--the bough broke with me, and
it was called II judgment. l suppose that is
why justice is represented with pair of
scales"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15

"A certain man who was unjustly sus.
pected of dishonesty, and of whom some one
said he guessed he would bear watching"
eyes," was his indignant reply, 81 will bear
watching. You can watch me just as much
as you want to. 1t is the cheats and thieves
that can't bear watching"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15
Dress Goods Department,

r G. ROUSE
HAS RETURNED, AFTER A BUSY WEEK IN
PHILADELPHIA, WITH MANY DESIRABLE
GOODS. 1T HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK BE-
CAUSE l HAVE BEEN AMONG THE DIFF
FERENT MANUFACTURERS AGENTS, AND
HAVE FOUND OUT WHERE THE BEST
GOODS COULD BE BOUGHT FOR THELEAsT
MONEY. AND WHEREVER LOTS" OF
GOODS COULD BE CLOSED OUT AT BAR
GAIN PRICES" HAVE BOUGHT THEM.
HAVE BEEN BUYING GOODS LONG
ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN AND WHERE TO
STRIKE, AND KNOW THE ADVANTAGES
OF GIVING MY CUSTOMERS BARGAINS
THEY KNOW A GOOD AND PRETTY THING
WHEN THEY SEE IT. AND THEY ALSO
KNOW WHEN 1T is Oh ZAP: AND If THERE
EVER WAS TINE WHEN IT PLEASED
PEOPLE TO GET BARGAINS THIS IS THE
TIME NOW. HAVE WORKED EARLY AND
LATE TO MEET THE DEMANDS OF THE
TIMES. AND WANT YOU WHO READ THIS
ADVERTISEMENT TO COME AND SEE IF 1T
WILL NOT PAY YOU TO LOOK OVER MY
STOCK. IF YOU DO NOT SEE ANYTHING
CHEAP OR ANYTHING YOU WANT, YOU
WILL BE TREATED WITH AS MUCH CoUR-
TESY AND RESPECT AS IF YOU HAD PUR-
CHASED.
H. g. ROUSE.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15

eB~As we are direct importers of Foreign
Goods, and purchase Domestic Goods from first
hands in large quantities. we feel confident that
we sell our GOODS AS LOW as any house in the
city.
,eB- Orders for Samples promptly filled free of
charge. 22janl
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15
Bed Comforts,
Large size, which we sell for rs cts. up,
and our stock of
Muslins, Sheetings, Table Linen,
Wine Cloths, &C.,

Cannot be eXceled in cheapness, and right
here we would say that the Cashmere de-
partment contains just the thing for coun-
try trade: For rough wear we have ker-
seys ana full CLOTH best grades and a full
line of better goods At our
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15
2netical.
THE DEAD SUMMER

hhE DEAD ~ w nLh
Along the wayside and up the hills
The golden-rod flames in the sun;
The blue-eyed gentian mods goodbye
To the sad little brooks that run;
And so Summers done, said L
Summer is done.
In following woods the chestnut drops,
The squirrel gets galore,
Though bright-eyed lads Ald little maids
Rob him of half his store;
And so Summer Is DER, said L
Summer is DER.
The maple in the swamp begins
To tlaunt in gold and red,
And in the elm the fre-bird's nest
Swings empty overhead;
And so Summers dead, said /
Summer is dead.
The barberry hangs her jewels out,
And guard them with thorn;
The merry farmer boys cut down
The poor old dried-up corn;
And so Summers gone, said l.
Summer is gone.
The swallows and the bobolinks
Are gone this many day,
But in the morning still you hear
The sparrow's scolding lay;
And so Summers away, said l.
Summers away.
A wonderful glory fills the air,
And big and bright is the sun;
y loving hand for the whole brown earth
A garment of beauty has spun;
But for all that, Summers done, said L
Summer is done.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-10-15
LOUIS RUSSELL,
has just opened a rst-class
GROCERY STORE


Four doors from Front, Baltimore,
And will sell goods at the following astonishing
low prices:
Best Lump Starch, 3h cents pound Blue Soap,
Az cts. per cake Ivory Soap, cts. per cake; Gin
cinnat Oleine Soap cents per cake; New York
Oleine Soap, AZ cts. per cake; Every Day Soap,
AZ cts. per cake; Eagle Brand Condensed Milk
ID cts. per can: Bakers Chocolate, 3S cts. per
pound Bakers Cocoa, 3S cts. per pound Best
Sugar Corn, s cts. per pound ;Tumbler Mustard 5
cts. per tumbler; Duryea's Corn Starch, u pound
package cts, and ] ID. package 0 cts. large
Size Bottle Blue, 3 cts; 10 cts size Sweet Oil, s
cts, Is cent size, IL cts; Best Cider Vinegar, 20
cts; ,estWhite Wine Vinegar, 20 cts. Best Safe
y OIL, cts; Best Golden Syrup, 35 cts
Best Sugar Drips, 30 cts; CT, size Pear
line, Soapne and Ivorne, Az cts. per pack
age; Best Carolina Rice, cts. pound Best Bar
ley, 4, and cts pound; Imported Limburger
Cheese, l6 cts IA pound. A full line of Teas
Cotfees and Sugars at equally low prices. "Our
Sadie Brand of Minnesota Patent Process Flour
is the true friend of all good housewives. Pure
Spices at rock bottom prices German Produce
a speciality and everything appertaining to first
class Grocery will be found complete at very low
prices You are cordially invited to examine for
yourself. Try our celebrate d Nachona Flour, a
first class family at $3.50 per barrel or 70 cts.
sack. w Please mention this paper. 3Oap6m
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

Senator Teller, of Colorado, in his masterly speech in the U. s. Senate, up' on the silver question, laid bare to the public gaze the sophestres and methods adopted by the present administration to further the interests of the New York bankers and bondholders. The charge is openly made and substantiated, that Secretary Manning is using his great office as lever solely in the interests of the capitalists. A few more speeches like Senators Beck and Teller's and the farce will end. Force of circumstances over which the administration has no cont-ol are working out settlement ot this vital question.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

Some envous scoundrel has circulated the report that the Critic had removed to Quijotoa to grow up with the surround ings, this vile islander we hasten to re- flute. The Critic has ceased it's joyous sounds for time only. It will come forth from its hiding place fresh from its peaceful slumbers and in tones of thunder demand immediate and com plete retraction. Then with a cowhide staring us in the face they will make ample apollgy and wish our genial neighbor success.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

The telegraph wires are down, not only between Yuma and Los Angeles, called the southern route, but between Ogden and San Francisco, the central route, where it is reported some thirty poles are down on the Sierras. This destruc- ton will, however, be promptly replaced, and either the southern or central tele- graphic routes will be in working order with little delay. As already stated serious railroad washouts have been sus- tained, but large forces of repairers will soon make whole these breaks.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

Josiah White, Hamilton Diston and Ex-Gov. Stafford, will arrive in Tomb- stone this evening. Mir. White has. been appointed superintendent of the Head Center and Tranquility mines, and it is expected that he will proceed at once to work those valuable properties. It is the opinion of our best mining men that the Tranquility is the very best piece of mining property in the territory. The ledge is wonderfully large and very rich, and much is expected from future de- velopments of the property. Mir. White, though usually tacturn, is genial, whole soled gentleman, and the EPITApH trusts that he will once more take up his abode in our midst.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

The school question is receiving con- siderable attention from the various interested parties. This is subject that lies near the heart of every mother in the land It is to the loving and tender solici- tude of mothers that our little ones owe success in after years. The ever watch full care exercised first upon the child, later upon the youth and last upon the man by tender and loving mother ap- peals to the better nature of mankind. Evidently the mothers of our school children in Tombstone have taken the school matter Tn hand, and any measures tending towards its defeat will receive careful attention at their hands. The EPITAPH serves notice upon the public right now that of the ladies of Tombstone are in favor of levying this tax tor school purposes they can rely upon our assistance in the matter. In explanation of the above we will say that where public question is at issue, where the question of right or wrong is envolved it is at all times safe to side with the ladies in the case, because they are invariably right in their conclusions sn such matters.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22
TELEGRAPHIC. Senator Teller's Masterly
 Arraignment. COlOradO's Champion of the
 Peoples Money. The Voice of the West Heard
 In Defense of Silver. Gold Fiends Doomed - the Ad- ministratinn Denounced. ASSOCIATED PRESS DIsPATCHEs.l
ASSOCIATED PRESS DIspAToHEs.l
A Murderer Lynched.

VINCENNES, Ind, Jan. 2I.-At mid night yesterday we'll organized force of men, provided with sledge hammers and other implements, went to jail, and hay ing effected an entrance, took Epp, the murderer of Farmer Dobson, from the sheriffs hands and hanging him to a tree went quickly about their business, leaving the body hanging.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

Mamma" observed flaxen-haired little girl who resides in an elegant North Side mansion, ''I am years old now.' '.Yes, my love-" responded the fond mother, as she gazed upon the face of her child. Well, t5en," re- sp"nded the midget, ''in eight years I wi; Ye l5 years old, won't IF" 'Yes, ci riing. :" And then 1 will have to La;e :. beau, and oh, dear me, how do dread it.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

We commend to the reading public our interesting Tucson letter. Our correspondent at that place is reliable and familiar with the subject upon which he treats
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

Keep up your courage friend Nash, greater follies than yourself have busted. Witness the Quijotoa bubble.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

The Tucson. Times still survives as a weekly. Better half a loaf than no bread at all.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22
OPENING
Of the Territorial Normal
 School.

The Normal schqA building located at Tempe, in Maricopa county, is now completed, and it IS the intention of the Board hav- ing the matter in charge, to open the school on the first Monday in February next, and continue for period of 16 weeks.
 TERMS OF ADMISSION.
 l. All applicants must be not less than 16 years of age and of good character.
 ?. Applicants must be able to pass an examination in the First Grade" laid down in the Course of Study for Public Schools. [See appendix to School law.]
 3. Each member of the Legis- lature is authorized to nominate one pupil who shall be entitled to free tuition. No charge will be made for tuition to those who in tend to follow the profession of teaching. All others must pay a monthly tuition charge of FOUR DOLLARS.
 4. Board and lodging can be obtained in private families for about $20 per month.
 The Board intends to furnish every facility to those who attend, for obtaining thorough educa- tion.
 For further particulars address c. T. Hayden or H. B. Farmer, Tempe, Arizona Territory.
 JOSEPH CAMPBELL,
 Secretary.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

Louis Rickabaugh, an old Tombstoner, arrived in tbis city last evening, accom- panied by several strange sports.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

The books of the school trustees were turned over to that body yesterday, of the methods employed we know not
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22

The last straw broke the back of the camel and let the stench escape from the wind Bag.
Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-22
Ouijotoa's dream of boom is OCT.

Our evening contemp should be more amicable. He is evidently "riled.'
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03
ClIoagO'S Daniel.
Joseph E. GARY,

TaEJuDalWuo TRIED THE ANARCHISTS
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

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Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

"Ihc concert viii not close earlier
taau ten clock. so ! suppose | shall
dot De home before train-tme,' said
Horace
"No. said lis mother lit viii not be
worth whi.c 90 attempt TO come home
between that hour and eleven. So yon
viii not fai 90 be there in good time.
Haitian hour later hc entered n bril-
lian,.y l,cl ha}. aua was soon list
cu.ng to the elections which made up
tao programme of q promenade concert,
uud gazing with lively interest upon the
pe3p.. about him. IL was an era in his
liie lie had recently entered college,
and his mother had come 10 this fashion,
able college town 10 live. that she might
bcwth her only son. They had hitherto
lived very quietly in a country village,
AND Horace felt boyish delight IN MS
now surroundings.
There were plenty of bright. intelli-
nent-looling young people ut the con-
cert. bows who might be his mates, ana
yoEny GIRLS whose acquaintance he
might hope 90 make. Tic had loyal
respect and admiration for women, ana
Ia h very heart believed that every
tl'ng sweet. lovely. modest. gentle, Dig
nfed and beautiful belonged by right
il inheritance TO young gir.hood. Alas.
tla, any ole should ever have cause not
o. believe as hc did!
During an interval in the music. near
the close of tine concert. young man,
one of the few present whom he knew,
came TO him. :
I'm in q bit of fiv. Horace he
said. "and | wish YOU would help me
out
~ -aall be clad if can, Jack.
"Wcn / brought two young ladies'
hcrc-cily Girls. very lively and pleas
amt You'll lind them and I've just re-
ceiFgl DELAYED telegram to the elect
tiat mv mother C,pc"ts me 10 meet her
over at Su-uiOaf junction, and / can
ONLY make &c hv starting at once. Now
will YOU see the girls home? I've told
them how it IS. and it viii be all right
with them If find an escort to take my
place.
II shall be dclighted-with certain
limits seid Horace. Il can be ut their
service until eleven. but after that i
have an engagement that ! must iuliil. ~
THAT will do exactly. You see there
are only two more numbers on the pro-
grammc. You'll bc out of here by ten,
and it VIII not take YOU moro than hall
an hour 10 escort the ladies home.
"rhon." SAID Horace. DESTROYS of
guarding carefully against any possible
misunderstanding. "you will explain TO
the .ounr lail.es ihnt ana their humble
servant unt.l eleven.
The young man went away. and re-
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

-. o -
Seldom has q trial excited equal pub
. interest, and required greater care
1ujuct than the one recently con-
at Chicago. Eight men were on
"th the chance OF the conviction
m . ON the charge of murder in
decree oniailing an awful re-
iiy on tho presiding Judge, and
his resources OF legal learning,
ijy and patience TO the highest
Chicago WAS equal TO the occa-
utNi in Joseph L. Gary Judge
the highest qualifications for
me Office. With the result of
every oody Is acquainted. Seven
gat mon indicted on account of
rNl- proceedings in the riots at
lcd ty the Anarchists, were
oN the jury guilty OF murder
he penalty OF death; and
ua'nug one, OF mans auchter
oaer' were defended with great
their Interests were vigil
regarded in the choice OF the
ro can be no question as to
d IS OF the rvs finding, which
ycraiiy felt TO be an indication
tho average American citizen may
raIel upon TO defend the social
my against vretches who stain
t.- bands with Hood in the endcayor
F.. u.e',I. he strength of conscrva-
M c1avctous Us demonstrated In the
" the jury, IS a source Of pecul-
.ar ratification, considered as evidence
t eeuioymcnt OF political freedom
.r ..e great republic is dissociated from
,ly with theories which carried
ol. would put M end to the blessings Of
-it lllt Hu.
Joseph j.. Cary presiding Judge in the
important of recent American GRIM
l rHl-, Is native of New York
. born in ST. Lawrence county, in
r l,2l. lie received a superior
iet.0n showing remarkable aptitude
9 rulug, and at the close OF his
l.c days read law with character
diligence. When twenty-three
a-, he was admitted 20 the bar,
M n the practice of his profession.
Zoe removed 90 Chicago OF which
now O. resident. lie has been a
.a curing the past twcnty-three
Tine scene OF the remarkable
canclu.ed was the Cook County
D.a. court Room, Chicago.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

go -Torr-E.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

"Ah-h-h-h,'
The singer laid his hand upon his
heart. and rolled his eyes IN u manner
that made his companions roar with
laughter
Ladies" ho said, rising and APP
preaching them with "a champagne glass
in his hand. "Do ne the honor-to still
further brighten tine sparkle of your
cyosW
Miss Marian was pale with fright.
while her cousin covered her face with
her handkerchief. and shrank back into
u corner.
stop, Vame,' cried one of his
friends, rs he sprang to his feet, and
drew him back. you are forgetting
yourself
Am -" he said, confuscdly. Well,
BEG pardon-im sure. | shan't soon
forget yoa, ladies' bowmg low to
them.
The others at once took his arms, and
led him out, one delaying TO apologize
in a manner which showed him gentle
man p pity that gentlemen should so
disguise themselves.
No one was lett i'm the room but the
wv t-'il'i''' -N''' nv iH'''iI
tasted OF their creams; they were now SO
much disturbed that they had no appe-
tite left for them ~ they passed out.
the cashier VINO took their money stared
curiousl% at them.
1t had been but Few minutes since
they lett Horace and both cher ished the
hope that hc might be waiting outside.
Ms Marian had scorcAing words and
Glanccs IN readiness Tor HIM, bus there
was 10 opportunity for thus venting her
outraged feelings upon her d' hnqucnt
escort.
The bright moonlight cast black
shadows into Che qu.cl streets rs. tightly
ciasping each other, arms, with quick
footsteps and beating hearts, they turn
ed Eomeward. They started and with
difficulty r,pr,',ed scream OF terror at
sight Of man .iaudinr in thc recess OF
window as taeS passed along.
81 do believe Ae'- following u.s. cx-
claimed Miss " lizard. looking back.
The other looked and saw the figure was
COMING after lhpm "Ic~. he ie' Hurry,
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Shllol's Cough and Consumption Cu;o
is sold by Us ON a guarantee. IL cures
Consumption Sold Ivy Ii ). Webb.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03
BUSLIESS LOC.4L.
Farmsfor Sale

six 81 acre lots. partially improved and
wild. will be sold nj a bargain.
j. w. MCLEOD,
Alma, July. ?,
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Choice bottled beer at the Model
Bar. Ten cents per bottle. If.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Connocfions

,r'it. with Railroads dvcrging.
nuth-iNui & Pore Marquette nv.
South iJrr-Toigau, Ann Ar6or & GA Tr'nk
EY sir Lina Div. g.. T. nv.
ifow nrI ire-Chicago n Grand Trunk Nv.
,'ih, iit.-~aF. Div. of C.. X. r., Lake Shor]
g. lchiGiu southern RS.
tgiA- p, O.. II. VI. Rv.. and stanton r. III
% ward tltf-Grand ltap!dsN indiana-
fipids-C. w. NJ ly. and g. H.
~. i't., y. III, IS ~, =. +. & II.
j. IT, NILLikEN. Gent Manager -
H. "a Cf9"LNTER, Traffic Man. Dotroi,
1rnr'tl OH.es Detroit Mich
". ID. NALLEAU. Ap,nr ann