West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
A NIGHT IN THE WOODS.
Mrs. Johnson Tells About Her
Former Lover.

"Hello.
Hello, yerself."
This is Mr. Johnson | supposeP
Jones is my name"
"Waal, no, this amt Mister John
SON. My name i, Ligc johnson.
'"Gou live here, Mr. Johnson?"
"Waal, l can't says | live, but |
stays hyar
What will b, the chance to stay all
night with you?''
Purity bad, sur. purity bad We air
mighty pore folks, an got pore ways.
but cf YOU kin put up with our fNin's.
Nou Kin stay en- welcome. jest git down
on take ont yer hosscs. Turn 'em i'm
that lot thar. you'll find sum fodder en-
shucks up thar, en- you kin feed them
To Sut ycrself"
After feeding my team, ! turned to-
ward the house. As | entered. | was
| greeted by the smell of fried bacon.
the Nelping of "a NANCY hound and the
| Squalling of two or three children. The
lady of the house, tall. angular.
hatched-faccd woman. made low
courtesy, and pointing To a broken
back chair invited me TO take a cheer
by the fire. She soon announced sup
per by saying in a stage whisper:
Ligc, yer supper's reddy."
come, stranger. draw up yer cheer
en- take "A seat at the table en- eat n
snack. We hain't much, but yer wei
come. III the sayin' is, pore folks is
got pore ways, en- rich people is got
mean uns. Hcv this cupP No. don [
pass it, jest keep it.
"Thets the only chnie cup we've
got Lige he drinks his coffee outen "A
goard, he sez il gives people the dcs-
pepsy to drink coffee outen a chinic
cup. But | tells him it's bekase he's
too mortal stingy to buy more Help
yerseb To sum NV thet .nOur-bread.
stranger, en- hev sum NV the FRY.
Ligc'd d set thar EN- let yer starve before
he d AK yer Lige, pass them lap
over pies, they air mighty good ef ]
do say 1t myself Hev more, stranger,
you hain't eat 'nuff to keep sparrer
awe. III you won't hev emmy more,
Jest push back yer cheer, en- go to the
hre. Stranger, what mout be yer
nameP'
Jones"
Now yer not akin to them Joneses
over i'm Dog Holler, air yerP"
mo, don't think / am. lam from
Tennessee.
Prom Tennessee? Thet's a mighty
fine country, haint itP''
Yes, it's very fine country"
I'VE hev a mighty pore country
hyar, stranger. b'reve the good Lord
hcz sont a cUss on this country sense
the war. The Ian don't nigh perduce
| Ike II ulster. The peach trees hardly
| ever hev emmy peaches on 'em. I'm the
bees don half full up ther stan's with
honey. Everything hez gone ter rack
en- ruin, l tell We. En- yer say yer from
Tennysee? Did yer ever hearn tell nv
feller by the name NV Jake Hawkins
up thar?'
mo. think not"
Jake he moved up in thet neck nv
| woods, en- ! lowed niebby YOU he'd seed
i'm. Jake he uster court me when
| wuz gurrel. ! mind the dav when me
en- 'Lige WIZ merried. 1 he'd prom
| must Jake ter hev him Gentlemen.
| whcw! Jake cum thet evening en-
found he'd tuck Lige, he wuz mad ez
a wet hen. ! never did see Jest sich "a
mad man in all my born days.
| tic ia red, en he charged, en- he lowed
he would tex 'olc Betsy, thet wuz his
! rifle gun, en- shoot sumbOdv's eyes
/ H.
| jest got riled up en- / went out thar
whar the men folks wuz irwin TO git
! Jake ter hush, On ] Jest walked up ter
| him en- shuck my fist in his face en- told
/ him ter git, en- thet purity quick, or
| would ketch him by the ha'r en- iirk
| him bald-headed. You oughter seed
/ him hustle. Stranger, you @wan {
| old enough 10 be i'm the war. wuz YEP
| Well, YOU escaped power NV trubble.
] tell ye One day. enduring the
| war; ] VIZ scttin' right hyar sinnn'
| ter the baby, when ] heered "a man
/ hOilcr OLt thar at the gate I'm when
! J went 90 the dorc. / hope ] may die.
! ct thar warn't Jake Hawkins a-settin'
| a--traddls NV the poorest hoss / ever
! seed. Yer yallcr dorg, sen J. what
/ do you wantg Miss Johnson. sen
hc, 4 m powerful hongry- narclv
! starved, en- ! want to git mOuthful NV
/ yittlf> If YOU ken spar it. Well,
! Jake 80 J., when ! ricomember how
! You cut up Jack when I merried. hit
makes me feel rs If I oughten ter give
| YOU mo- vittles. But then ! got 20
| thinking mebby he did Ulster love me.
| cu ] give him pOne NV bread and "a
| piece NV middlin' meat 'Thankcc,
/ Miss johnson, hc scd On he rid of. ZEN
/ ~ n'' '''I ~" ~ thhy uult' you KIN
I count on Jake Hawkins en- doin his
I share Well, sur, times got mighty
/ hard. en- my vittles wuz gittin power
/ fol low. Lige wuz of in the war
/ a-iightin' emit wuz nip en- tuck with me
I ter make tongue en- buckle meet. ez
the sayin' Is. TO make matters worse,
Mandy we alters called her Sis
taken sick. on ] thought she wuz goin'
Ter die out Ihcts her a-settin thar
boo the cOrnder Stranger ! never
spcctcd ter see thet gal live ter hev
bows BOYS IS got 10 comm ter see
her rishs reg lar now, Nv Sundays.