The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-05-29
GOOD MANNERS,
Self-CoDsciousness and Self onceit, and
How They May BE Overcome.

Self-CoDsciousness and Self-Conceit, and
How They May BE Overcome.
I Johnnie and Harry have just begun
to attend parties. Johnnie is very
boisterous. He interrupts when others
are speaking, whistles when they are
singing at the piano, and spoils the
games because he is determined every
thing shall be done in his way People
call him pert and forward. Harry, ON
the other hand, bushes painfully when
he enters the room, and knocks his
head against the door when he tries to
bow himself out. He says: Eyes, SIR"
to the hostess, and asks young
lady if she will go home with him, in
stead OF proposing to see her home.
People call him shy and bashful. He
never knows what to do with his hands,
and always seems to feel little out of
place himself. Neither boy has good
manners, yet the contrast between
them is not so great as it seems. John
ME is self-conscious and Harry is self
conceited. Either would do well
enough if he could forget himself.
Katie is older than the boys, and
would be highly offended at any com
parison between her manners and
theirs. She is considered quite at home
in society, only somewhat Affected.
Her conversation would be agreeable
If she were not constantly tittering.
You can never quite heartily admire her
handsome eyes, because they do notseem
quite part of herself She does not
use them naturally, but hidden away
behind them seems to be playing artful
tricks to show their beauty. Her man.
nerS are disagreeable, because she, too,
never forgets self.
Most young people have great diff
Guilty in acquiring simple and natural
manners. How is it possible to escape
from this constant thought of selfP
Simply by learning to think of others
The habit of thinking for others must
be gradually and patiently formed.
That habit will cure Johnnie of for
wardness, make Harry less shy, and in
time even overcome Katie affectation.
1t will teach them all kindly ways in
speech and action, and prevent them
from doing what is offensive to others.
The feeling of self-respect which
comes from such a spirit will help
them also to exercise self-control.
They will still need to learn the ways of
any society in which they find them
selves, and years of culture and expert
ence will add refinement of thought
and graceS of manner to each of them.
But it is wonderful how the love that
''seeketh not her own will, directly or
indirectly, supply nearly all the elements
of good manners. Those who do kind
things in kind way can hardly be
very disagreeable.
Let me tell you there are little con-
spiracies all over the world against the
people who think only of themselves,
and are not considerate of others. L
was once sitting beside friend in the
cars when a large man entered with
five members of his family. Before we
saw him we heard him calling out:
double up here, gentlemen, double
up, don't you see there's family COM
ingP" Eight or ten seats in the car
were occupied by one man each. Not
a person moved. Finally one man re-
echoed in waggish tone: "Why
don't you double up, gentlemen, don't
you see there's a family coming?"
Our large friend was obliged to put
his wife in one seat, his daughters in
others, while he sat down by colored
woman near the door, and took his
boy in his arms. If the gentleman had
remembered, with "a shade of regret,
that it is some trouble to leave the
seats in which people are comfortably
arranged, and had said: "Will some
OF you gentlemen be so kind as to sit
together to accommodate these ladiesp"
the matter would have been easily ar
ranged, for most people are inclined to
treat with kindness those who show
themselves thoughtful for the comfort
of others. Req. j, N. SturteUant, IN
CongregationaliSt