The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-10-29
DUMMIES OF SOCIETY.
FELLOWS WHO ARE ALWAYS IN
THE FRONT AT WEDDINGS.

( One Of the most amusing products of mod
/ Crn civilization IS the professional grooms-
man. Society requires lacqueys, who should
/. act rs dummies for the bellies of the season
until an eligible party makes his appearance
when poor Augustus is retired to the ante
room to hold wraps and shawlS.
augustus is usually some mild young man
! with the softened manners of n girl, whose
/ voice is well noduIated, and whose eyes arc
large and rolling. He finds himself first in
vited to the big houses rs n kind of pad
ding, ladies being plentiful and acceptable
suffers few. As he Is entirely harmless and
very convenient the girls take on" over him
wonderfully, and as a result he imagines that
he is in society," From this beginning he is
pushed forward until he becomes one of the
figures in the german, and later still develops
as the professional groomsman.
To talk with one of these young men at the
beginning of a season furnishes food for n
years reflection. He has advance informa-
ton of all the receptions which are to be
given, OF the prospective marriages, and of
all else that IS likely to transpire. In the
course Of the season he VIII be the escort of
perhaps twenty "bellcs of the ball" They
Will all smile on him sweetlv, honor him with
their small talk, and occasionally grow semi
confidential. II Augustus" should at any
time grow amatoTy he Is good-naturediy
showed off, but permitted to retain a little hope
THEY ARE INDISPENSABLE.
Such young men," said charming yolns
lady the other day, are Indispensable They
wait upon Us with all the devotion of accepted
lovers; they are always ready 70 answer any
call male upon them; they hold our shawls
and act rs escorts when no one else can lie
had, and" said she, dropping her cyelids de
murely, "they are of excellent service in
hurryinS up slow lovers"
"How is that3' she was asked
"Well, when the young man hesitates about
coming to the point, We can grow sweet on
the dummies. The acceptance of an invita-
ton or two from them wiz inspire a timid
lover with determination not TO be outdone
He will grow jealous, and within a week he
will either propose or take himself out of the
way. OF course, we would not be so heart
less rs to deprive the dummy of his reward,
which comes TO him in the shape of a request
to be one of the groomSncn.n
And thus it goes. The poor dummy, up to
his ears in debt, haraSsed from day to day by
the presentation OF past-due bills, dreams
away his troubles while listening to ravishing
music III some house of high degree, where he
is filling his professional role. He does not
think OF the future, for that viii reveal to
him the time when fresh padding will push
him out. lie dares not aspire to the hand of
one of the fair ladies upon whom he waits.
for that VIII, in time, be claimed by some
schooimate who worked hard for money while
"AuSustua' was ijlinS away his time for
mention in tie society column. He has no
sympathy at home. for his mother and sisters
are never invited 70 the fine houses where
his figure is 80 often TO be seen. Though in
the center OF the whirl of society, he is as
completely isolated from it rs If hc sat upon
the north pole itself.
The writer once followed the announce
ment of a winters fashionable marriages in
Nashville. In eighteen marriages five names
appeared continuously as grooInsmeu. These
five men, who seemed To have monopoly of
the "spiketail coat business, were nothing
more or less than dummies, who had been of
service TO the brides, and who were being
thus repaid FOR the tender attentions of half
dozen seasons. They were the stock in
trade of a certain coterie, and had been privi-
legged with seats at tho kitchen conferences,
where the details OF the bridal trousScau were
fully discussed
STILL ANOTHER SERVICE
There IS still another service which the
dummies perform. In the rivalry of society
weddings, there is n great effort to excel in
the display of wedding gifts. or course,
there are always the gifts which are sure to
come from near relatives and friends, then
from parties who feel themselves TO be under
business obligations to the family, and, lastly,
from well-to-do people who have been in
vited, and who know that $40 present, at
least, is expected. But the presents thus Sc
cured fall short Of the necessary display.
1t Is then that the professional groomsman
understands a hint. The five gentlemen,
whose kids and spiketails have done service
twenty times, 90 to a well known jeweler,
who ordinarily would not trust them for
nickel He has been "Seen," however, and
meets the professionals with bland smile.
They make their selections, and leave their
cards. The presents are not irtrusted TO
them, bat are sent directly to the mansion
where they are properly displayed. In the
society column of the local paper next morn
ing, among other presents are noted the fol
lowing:
Beautiful silver service" Augustus" Swim
burne
Gold card receiver-AlfOnso SoftshcIL
Silver table seTvice-Harry LovemeweIl.
Gold mounted opera glasses-Eugene Drysp.
Toilet set. solid silver-FTank Always
It is needless to state that the bills for these
presents are never presented to the supposed
donors. The "old man goes around next
day and arranges for their return on the pay
ment of slight rental
To a newspaper man, who knows the efforts
of the dummies TO keep afioat and the small
pay in the way of social wares which they re-
ceive, the matter looks like q roaring comedy.
The same labor given TO any reputable bust
ness would bring competence. when tho social
dummy awalSes to the fact that he has nothing
but ashes on his Hps.-Atlanta Constitution.
Bothering the Passenger Agents.
Passenger agents are much bothered by a
class of persons who repeatedly ask questions
about routes, prices, connections and every