The Press., 1886-04-29
(The Judge.Y THE PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF VERY PATIENT MAN,

 ing so is becoming greater every year. There Is something oppressive ill the dark ness that prevails Ill the middle of the night, and something appalling in the still l ness. You do not know precisely how to I encounter them. The longest nightdress is no protection, and one ftels as helpless against attack as if he had nothing on but plain gold ring. The slight noises that prevail on these occasions are not a relief. On the contrary, they are so loud in the stiffness as to be startling, and their unex- pectedness disarranges the stoutest nerves. I do not know what others may think about it, but do not to get mp in the mid dle of the pght.
 l We had been married-the other party to this disclosure is my wife-we had been married about two weeks and had settled apparently for life in the building we at present occupy. There was nothing ghost ly about about the building, and it never had burglar, but the trouble began the first night we slept in it. had turned off the gas and got comfortably settled in bed when my wife, who had seemed 10 be asleep, suddenly became wide awake and asked, Charlie, did you lock the side door ?"
 Now I cannot always tell about these things. If lock door forget all about 1G ol OISC. It 10 OA OOASC- sequence, and am generally thinking of important things But said to my wife. ''Why-yes. Certainly. lat least l think I did. Yes, am-no-hum good night, my dear." ..sE..~
 "Charles," returned my wife, II shall not get wink of sleep this night unless know positively that that door is locked. Please, my dear"
 So I got up. There were no matches. I felt my way down the stairs to the side door, and oddly enough, the moment my hand touched the lock l remembered dis tinctly that had turned the key previous to retiring.
 It was probably abonB91 o'clock in the m ming when I was again awakened "My dear," said my wife, 'I do hate to disturb you, bat have been lying awake nearly an hour. It seems that the door to the bathroom IS open. am so nervous l suppose, of course, ir was left open by some of us, and by no intruders but it goes creek creek, and miaaws like Cat. Charles, the wind has risen and it blows the door to and fro, and I find myself watching for the noise with the greatest intensity. Won't you"
 l said I didn't blame her. I then re- marked to myself that il, there was any thing in this world calculated to disarrange ones nerves it was an open door that was continually swinging on it's hinges and showing in an exasperating manner that the hinges ought 10 be greased. imme- diately went to the bathroom door, and found it closed after which I said to my self in an agitated voice, "Well, by love if 1 ever in my life"
 When l said to my wife somewhat hasti- y, ''It was closed p she apparently thought the situation over with much in- terest moment, and then remarkt d, We'll, of all the strange noises ever did hear they were the singalarest," and seem ed to settle down to sleep. I shuddered- l was afraid it might be necessary to find out.
 It might have been 3 o'clock in the morning. There was pinch in my ribs, and immediately thereafter a cold hand was laid over my mouth. At the same in. stant there was the whisper, t'Sch! Lie still and listen"
 do not like to lie still and listen in the still hours of the night. One hears too much if he hears nothing at all Every thing is alarming and nothing can be sat isfactorily explained The thousand noises that prevail during the day shut out the slight rustling of the tree branches against the window, but it is painfully distinct al night and at night a mouse can make more noise than an elephant ought to- The man or woman who listens at night is lost. But I listened, and then, my wife said in an awful whisper
 ''Charles, burglars That accounts fol the bathroom door That's what made il creak. I knew I didn't imagine those dreadful noises. I haven't been able tc sleep since I heard them Charles, gc down stairs very softly and see about it."
 ok 4Ior,o 4loS- that hate to see about it is burglars think burglar is the meanest thing this side of Washington. My philosophy with respect to burglars is that it is better to gc to sleep and let them take what they want and Tn the morning when you go down street to inform the police. have known many persons to be shot by burglars, and what IS property in comparison with life But knew had to find out about those burglars. I was perfectly certain, more over, that there were no burglars. If had had the remotest suspicion that there were burglars in the house would have remained in bed with the utmost persist ency until daylight. The only proper time to look for burglars is when the burg. lars are in some other house, or at least af ter they have left your own. Ido not pro fess to be very wise, but I know that much.
 There being no burglars in the house, searched for them with the greatest mi nuteness. I went through every room, and looked under every table, lounge and sofa. became agitated the more the great stiffness of the house struck me, and stalking through the now familiar darkness sang in loud voice, my night-dress mean while floating behind me:
 When can read my title clear
 To mansions in the
 -''Did you look in the cellar ?" interrupt ed my wife.
 "No!' I said, shortly, getting hastily into bed. ''I didn't look in the cellar There isn't burglar within five miles,
 "Well, whimpered my wife, s'it isn't my fanlt, is it ?'' and she immediately went to sleep.
 That was twenty years ago. The adven. lures of that night are the adventures oi every night since. My hair is growing gray and my limbs are growing more and more uncertain. Is the house haunted : Am l impatient because of an accumula- tion of years I do not know. I only know that I do not like to get up in the middle of the night.
 Tact is the lubricant that makes sliding