The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1886-12-11
ALLEGED aEHOR.


look SO like his father, doesn't he?
Mr.. B.-Yes, but / shouldn't mind
that, as long as he is healthy.-Life.
THINGS one would rather have left
unsaid: HosU-"Win yC take in my
mother.in-law, major? She always
goes in with q stick, you knox
Punch.
A COW entered church in Canada
and drove the choir out. The congre-
CATION immediately took mp a eollec-
ton and bought the eow.-BUrliDgtou
Free Press.
will yez be aeitators or will yez
be shlaves " yelled the Irish stump
speaker, ana the roaring surge OF
voices responded, ave will, Misther
Brogan, we will It'd Bits.
An electric man" who was shock
ing the visitors 10 a Chicago museum
was found to have e small battery in
his bootleg. He stoutly claimed TO
have been born that way, but the cleo
tricians are inclined 20 doubt it.-De-
troit Free Press.
"Now, Johnny, take your medicine
Ike agood boy. Mamma Will put a pen
ny IN your bank every day il you do.
What will 90 buy wIf il when 90 gets
lots?" Johnny can buy mamma g
new bonnet when he gets enough
saved" Johnny swallowed his dose.
st LOUIS Chronicle.
THE father ot Miss Smith, whom
Oliver Howell drove TO Dresden, and
married on the eve OF the day fixed for
her wedding with Jonathsn Taylor,
OF Morpeth, declared st the trial at
Chatham that the couple even carried
away the wedding cake intended for
next day scerecony.-Toronto Globe.
"SoME men are very careless" re-
marked Dumley. al went into cigar
store this morning and on the show
case lay change for a So bill, which
some customer had evidently forgot
ten" 81 say, Dumley," whispered
Featherly, ''have you got It yet.
/ New YORK. Sun.
A VALUED correspondent writes TO
know why il is that Liberty is always
pictured as a woman. The question
admits OF q longer explanation, but,
the querist being a married man, we
are content to state that Liberty TO
survive, must be vigilant, and there Is
no blind side TO a woman.-hacon
Telegraph.
NUMEROUS suits arising from claims
OF ownership TO rice washed from one
property TO another during the 0cto-
/ Der storm have lately taxed the acu-
men OF our justices OF the peace. In
many places they have been as much
| puzzled as King Solomon was IN
awarding guardianship Of the historic
1 child, and have evolved rs equitable If
not as celebrated decisions.-Plaque-
mines (La.) Protector.
OMAHA Evangelist lat Wayback)-
/ eyes, / have come here for the pur-
pose OF startinga Temperament revival" "
/ Wayback man-''Too late, mister, we
/ had fight over temperance at elec-
ton; us temperance folks won and
we've got the new law in operation al
ready" "Well well That's delight
/ ful news" ''Yes, no need to waste any
I time mere; you ought to give them
I there Red City boys a talkin' to,
/ though" 81 will start for Red City
at once. By the way, what are your
new regulations here" its agin the
law, now, ter shoot man fer not
/ drinkin' ."-Omaha World.
/ LITTLE FLORENCE was s years old
and her brother Willie two years
younger. One evening their mamma
wished them to go TO bed, and know
( ing the girls fondness for playing
mamma, she SAID: "Come, now, chill
dren, haven't had time yet to look
over the morning paper. You run
right up 10 bed now and let mamma
read. Florence you can play mamma
and put your little brother to bed just
as | do, you know" "All wight,
said Florence, sitting down and taking
up a paper in imitation OF her mann
ma: "wun wight up to bed, Willie; I
want to wead the morning paper. -
Chicago News
A GOOD story on well-known
society young man Is just now going
( the rounds. The young man Is very
/ proper in everything and reads inces-
sanity, so as to be cup" ID literature.
| 1t seems somebody told him it was
/ quite the thing to be posted on Brown
/ ing. The young man stralghtWay
I visited book store and left an order
/ for Browning's works TO be sent to his
apartments. Imagine his horror
when lie returned home that night and
found seventy odd volumes, almost q
wagonload, and bin OF magnificent
proportions awaiting his attention.
He Is looking for the party who posted
/ him.-YenoWIne' Sunday News.
/ "a PARTY leader" said Rollo, look
/ ing up from the paper, ''is he the man
who leads the party" "Well, some
thing like that" said Rollo's Uncle
/ George. HE is the man who lies
awake nights trying to guess which
way the party wants TO go, and when
he finds out be scoots across lots and
tries to get there first. He leads the
party unless the party should happen
to change its mind and go the other
way. He leads the party the same as
/ theleaderi in the stage team leads. he
goes ahead, but ne goes the way the
! man on the box with the relns and
whip tells him TO 60" Rollo said ne
! thought he was beginning TO zee into
politics as through a glass darkly, and
Uncle George said that was the way
old politicians usually looked into EN-
/ -BrookIvn EagIe.
Painfully Surprised.
- D.