Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
HUMOR

A HOTEL should never advertise that
1T stands without arrival"
WHEN does q man impose upon him
self? When he taxes his memory.
A may be ashamed Of the fash
ion of his nose, although he follows it.
THERE is o time for all things. The
time to leave is when o young lady asks
you how the walking is.
KISSES are the right kind of smacks
to sail down the stream of life with, al
though taking a buss is not bad.
IT is a bad idea to make one enemy
in order to secure two friends. for, long
after the friends have forgotten you,
the enemy holds you in active recollec-
tion.-ArEGnsaW IraUeter.
A CORRESPONDENT who signs herself
Nervous Girl" writes to ask us if we
can tell her of any remedy to cure a
tickling sensation about the face. Ger
tainly; ask him to cut his mustache off.
Lynn Union.
They we're parting at the door; the
rain was falling, and she was afraid
that he would get wet and take cold.
Il think you should ride home" she
said; "take a car or o bus" "Im Just
going to take a bus" he SAID. and he
did, as bold as brass.--Bosto71 Cour-
Ter.
THE most industrious letters are the
Bees. Tho most extensive letters
the Seas. The most fond of comfort
the Ease. The most egotist;cal letters
the rs. The noisiest letters-the
Us. The poorest Ietters-the O's. The
greatest bores-the Teas. The sensi-
BILE letters-the Wise.
A MONTANA paper speaks of the
lightning striking q prominent citizen
just as he was coming out of o saloon.
That thunderbolt may have been watt
ing for years to get at him; the only
way the electric fluid will ever get q
smite at many Montana men will be to
go right in and NOW them down in
front of the bar.-Este1ine Bell.
A WARNING.
That Boston Bluebeard pinchcd his wife,
And in q room did jam her,
Becnuse-O, what IN awful crime!-
She sometimes used al grammar.
Now. maidens dear, before you we'd
man who might begin whncks,
Be sure that you are posted VII
On prosOdy and syntaX.
-Nea0 York Morning journal.
THREE-YEAR-oLD MAGGIE had never
seen anyone who was quite bald ex-
cept her grandfather, whom she had
once or twice visited. A gentleman
called one day to see her father, and,
taking off his hat, showed a very bald
head. Maggie regarded him wonder
ingly for q while, and, finally, ventur-
ing nearer, asked curiously: "Is that
yoer head ?"-Harper's Bazaar.
"LorTA money!" remarked Schoep-
Penstedt, sententiousl.y, when Mrs.
schoeppenstedt informed him that Miss
Crabtree is worth a million. But he
was sorry afterward that he said it. for
Mrs. Schoeppenstedt went into hys-
terics and did not recover until after
he had repentantly hung out the wash
ing and cleaned out all the ashes in the
kitchen stove.-SomerujUe Journal.
dip you say your husband was a
poet, Mrs. Dolt?" "Yes'm, and q very
eccentric one indeed" "How SO, Mrs.
Dolt?" "Why, he had q passion for
posthumous poetry. and he wouldn't
write anything else" Indeed! Then
his works have not been published
vets" "Bless you, yes! He was very
prompt about such things, and always
attended to them himself
Gazette.
SHE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE TALKING,
He stood beneath her window there,
While gazed upon him from above
The eyes OF her he deemed most fair
In the bright brilliancy of love.
"Ch. speak to me !" the young man cried,
"Oh, speak to me! Why nrt thou still?"'
She only answered with u sigh,
And leaned upon the window-siIl.
by I'LL the VOWS of fondcst love,
By oil our plighted hopes and fears,
Oh. speak to me-, my dear! My dove!'t
She only answered with her teurs.
Why stood she silent? What the cause,
To leave her lover in his doubt?
She did not dare to move her jaws,
Her new false teeth had fallen out!
-Lynn Union.
A FABLE: An estimable old ground