Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1886-11-06

An Autumn idol-the OYSTER.

i'hi yoi, ever see q man with a dia
mond collar button who did not think
ion? ~
A woman in Boston stole a cork 'ec
from a crippled soldier. She was bound
10 nave something new to put ON he,
bonnet
Young ladies' now furnish a crush
broom to dust the coats of their lovers
where they have laid their pretty DOW
dered faces.
Why is 4 baby fed from ten to a dozen
tlnles a day? Because babies. bless
EN-, should be filled up whenever they
sio symptoms OF "ho~llerness."
Granger-Been fshin' al dav? Crusty
Old Gentleman ~ -Four hours. sir.
Granger-WIthout bait? Crlsty Old
Geltleman-Without interruption, sir.
"A California youth squoezad his girl
so tight that he broke two of her ribs,
but was comforted when she said: Go
on, Hank, and bust the other twenty
two"
Johnson says 1t Is mighty hard to be
n Christian when Il man has a boy who
Will ring a chestnut bell on him al
family prayers, when it is impossible to
resent it.
A Western paper recently noted the
fnding OF "lady's skeleton" A lady's
skeleton doubtless differs from a
woman's skeleton in that it has a hoop
skirt and hustle attached.
"A poor man with n large family Of
daughters viii lind Washington a cheap
place to reside. After they get intro
duced into good society they will not
require any clothes TO speak Of.
1t is said a woman never quite forgets
the man who has once asked her hand
III marriage Nor does Il man aver for
get the woman whose hand he has asked
In marriage-unless it is gained.
Where are we to look for our rising
young men? NOT in the street car. any,
how. exclaimed Mrs. Shoddy. mo. nv
dear replied Mr.. s. "You will find
them in the elevators.
What every married man inthis coun.
try wants is a trained. ie~rce-lookiny
little mouse that will appear whenever
called. 1t viii settle a family quarrel
in less time than it takes to provoke
one,
Bilkins-"Send me up two tons Of
coal, and I will settle the first of the
month" Coal dealer Mcrisivelv)-
Chestnut" Bilkins (a~nxious to mis-
INTERESTINGLY" es, chestnut will do. |
suess.'
a woman has been elected master
workman" of a Knights Of Labor
'ranch in Chicago. 1t WAS by bringing
even children into the world that she
learned to labor and TO wait"
1t begr's to look * if the thcatre bill
'oard nuisance wOlld soon nave to
i've way to those Enrlish lords who
ave gone into the business of advertis-
20 bnrlesGne actresses 10y walloping
..cir husbands
"You ought to chew tobacco" said
! would.be Wit to a young lady. 81 ain
StoniSh"d sir" Indignantly replied the
.dy. "Pardon me-. miss. was
romn'e1 to make he remark when
Jokcd at your finr cut mouth"
Two little BOYS were discussing the
trength OF bee. "EIAcan pull more'n
fly, said one Of them. "Well," said
he other, 81 dunno how much he can
>ull. but when he backs ny to you and
pushes. | guess youIl fall back every
.ime.
An entorprising Chicago firm adver-
'iSe 'undresSed kids of 4 superior quail
ity. at from 81 upward" Ii would seem
IS if modnsty would compel the dealer
% throw III II nicht-gown or something,
nut perhanS the prion is SO low he can
lOt afford to dreS, them.
4" see that they advertise a large
chorus and "A FIJI orchestral wonder
who that fat girl is on the right"
That's one Of the large chorus" "And
the cornet player there seems to be the
worse for liquor" Hes no doubt one
of the full orchestra"
A country couple newly married
stopped at n hotel at Brighton a few
days and the groom called for some
vine. When asked what kind he would
nave. he replied: We wants that kind
of wine where the cOrks pop out and
the liquor Doils up like soap suds."
"I regret TO gay zat Mademoiselle
Fayette ee2 a leetlc hoarSe Zis evening""
explained a French manager to an
Notwithstanding audience, who had as
Sembled to hear a prima donna sing.
'Trot her out. then, If she's a little
horse" beloved an urchin, whose feet
lr.ag over the railing on the gods
gallery
Mrs. Converse Ito neighbours nurse
Crib: 81 wish ! had such a polite. we'll
behaved girl for my children. notice
that you always address your charges
as Miss and Master" Nurse girl
(Sroiling the illusion): Eyes. ma'am, l
Gets paid extra for that; the missus
thinks it locks big to have me use such
terms in company"
1t was the general opinion that Tam
MacSaunders was cracked. Notwlth-
standing this, Tam managed to per-
suade a lady fair to become his bride
and went to the minister to arrange
matters. The reverend gentleman
shared the common notion respecting
Tam's mental capacity and therefore
proceeded with due caution in the mat
ter. Among other questions the minis
| ter asked: "As this is a very important
! step you are about 10 take, you ought
to consult yOur parents about it. Have
! you done so?' ma, nae fear O. me-"
said Tam; "they never consulted mt
whan they got marrit"
A Chestnut-st. Miss of less than five
| summers, who was playing in the yard
II l., tIn yArly ~ 40