The Columbus journal., 1886-09-15
WIT AND HUMOH.

REPRESENTATIVES, Todd ana lI:Slfu nav
ing fought. il is now proposed to place
them on the pension iist.-NacoH Iele-
graph.
Miss Braddon is writing II tale en-
titled Engaged III Haste" Ii is prob
ably a satire on the messenger boys
Life.
There is a place in Pennsylvania
called ECONOMY" 1t is probably Il
snmmer-resOrt TOR editorS.-NetC Hacea
AeUs.
.'Garmenls without buttons" are adj
vartlsed. We've got 'em. aud so has
every other bac!iclor.-NeW Hrren
: N.US.
There are 1927 ONE over 100 years
of age in pariS: II least there IRE that
number of women in the ballet OF the
grand opera.-.tcU N:ret Net0s.
When it comes TO discussing money
cal men Il newspaper man depends
entirely upon lis imagination and does
beautiful work.-.Mi"HccpoiiS Irtbunc.
The Sphinx WAS Il m or ut least
Il creature win She body of Il lion and
the head OF :: wonna;i. That solves the
mystery and III. is cicar-She is jealou.
~ hiding line secret of her age.-IeGaS
Sytinys.
The female hn.!icr 1T Newport goes
right out OF the water aud reports TO
Mrs. Howe the uloinent Si;. sees some
one in The water vino does not belong
l her set. or vino h.,> not been intro
duced.-AstO orleans rtcnyune.
Were YOU Il, the Soyiabie last night?'
..Yes. ami ! spent = very pleasant even
ing" Il heaId a:i$S Y was 10 sing
there. l suplr'se .you enjoyed ihat?'
Ever so much. She had Il sore throat
and couldn't sIng."- ihiiadsiphn
! Cal.
Yes" SAID f~'caihcrly. Iii nv grand
! father were alive nc would hc LOB Years
old to-day" You 'ion't say So ex-
! claimed burnley. VERY mr.c, impressed.
.One hundred and three years old! 1t
doesn't seem possible. '-hcU YORK.
Times.
Overheard in Il stre"t-car: IL tried 10
| Kiss nv wife Il; lie ron door tonight
as | was leaving home. and, do you
know, she wouiG:'t let me. She said
she didn't want the neighborS to be tax
Ing her Tor. lne hired EHBaio
Express.
! a Young lady singing a sentimental
rOmanza displayed not only IN eXtror-
binary talent but Il set OF enormous
teeth. '.Ai.' SAID Il lady auditor to her
husband. "what 4 grand organ!' Per
20 tho taybn,r,i ~ her mou,h--T,oy
49,.
Iro,. Try a<"">. -H*'c to" lt"' my
essay N''e" 'ocI',''S'- iG'' "'" "'.h
niHch prom. ~" "i,ntistoon II,
thtt: w. ''>"H "'n' "'n'
u" h"," ;".'.t :, .'r ,i."nn
srt S:,oni 81 r,;,nsn,,hv ,HOnosa
u:,rn
"Ii'i'ct ie'"' rs e.hP' iipti
he killed nothing. Why" rctorts Mrs.
g., slowly. you could have done bet
| ter than that had vou staii at home and
attended 10 your regular p'S!iieSS.
LoWc'' '''f-th.
.Nhit IS that III: iron thing full of
ho,eS?' asked Laura. Locomotive
boiler said Tom. Laura looked
thoughtful. After ii moments silence
she asked: why do they boil loco
motivea?' Tom looked anIaZeI 40
make 'em tender ne answered slowly.
Gaf"ett'.
Black-'COme and take a drink,
White" Whi,c-"No. / GUESS not. I'm
not drinking anything now 30.
come along" W.-"AiI right" They 20
and take u drink. after which White
observes: wei. seeing as you've in
vited HE. | guess Ill take another
boston courier.
Druggist Wei my little man, what
can | do for you2 Boy want 10
cents worth OF cochincal and ) cents
worth OF haysced. Druggist-What do
you want cochincal and haysced for?
49,.
hoy-Nie m"'"ef IS ihahih some straw
oci'! icc-eie'iii ioi TIC ciuicl P'oh'o.-
Capta'nCSergt- zones reports tnat
you We're drunk again last niSnt Nhat
.Ncuse ~ you '.is tnie: rri'a'em
"eii' captain l 81" ieiio"S ron III!
ne commands ~"h"op"hG her up 1T
me suffer ana not wishing theh' ~
mink u company was anything mean;
I Wen IN ioF esprit ~ corps. -A'0e's
Il ponaeF""' Ola man, VINO occuP'eu
me entire seat i'll a car on The George
own princi'' snapped OUT 'oa BOY IN
front OF MN. why don't yon get up
ind give that lady Il seat, "Wh
iont you get UP Yourself ana give her
W o was the reply. BIZ the ola par
~ d,d t get up ali the same--'""ey
''"tt0r.
You SIT on your horse like a Dutch
,r. SAID Il pert young oiiicer, VINO nap
pened 10 be OF royal blood: 70 a veteran
general who was somewhat bent from
age. lit Is highly probable, respond
ell The Old warrior, win a grim smlie'
ut Is because Ill my lie 1 We been lead