The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1886-09-18
A WARM DAY.
The Horribly Torrld or Torridly Horrid
summer Climate of San Diego, Cal.

The Horribly Torrld or Torridiy Horrid
summer Climate of San Diego, Cal.
1 take piece of dried ink whitfield
down in my hand to inform you that
the equator has slipped several notches
or two and got directly over us, say ten
feet above us, with warmer indications
by the corn barometer. and making one
think he is in Wiltshire, sure. 1t is tor
ridly horrid. or horribly torrid, VIC
don't know which, or both, but we
rather think so. The impression is that
we have dried and gone there, for we
never saw so much weather with the
cold ierked completely out Of it. The
beauty Of it is that we do not allow any
body 10 mention 1t only when he is by
himself. If Hottentot were here to-
day he would become hottcntotter. A
brick wall doesn't give any shade be-
cause the sun just knocks the mortar
out between the bricks and shines
through. 1t is the hottest day ever seen
in this country, and you couldn't ex-
pect to find a hotter one in future
country.
Nothing will cast shadow. The
sun shines in the windows OF all four
sides of the house. You walk around
without a shadow-which is n great
relief to some of the citizens, as even
the police can't shadow you. If
you ever had shadow on your reputa-
ton there is none there now. 1t is use
less for your neighbors to try to lay
you in the shade. You do not need any
wood in the stoves to cook with, rs the
stoves are already red hot.
All kinds of busincsss transactions
are red hot and people get their fingers
burned, and it is impossible for people
cool indifference. The mercury is at
the extreme Fahrenheit of its career,
andnothing but hot words now pass cur
rent between neighbors Water, when it
gets to such consistency that you can
roll it up in your hands and make a
base ball out of it, is certainly Won
derful thing. You perspire until you
are dry, and it looks as if they would
have to soak us week to bring us
back to life and soften us up q little un-
til we are more pliable. Even the
shades of departed heroes are few and
far between.
The usually cool, calculating man is
not here now, nor the neighbor who can
give YOU the cold shoulder. A cake of
ice out in the sun soon is done brown,
well-baked crust being formed on the
surface of it. Boarders are not COM
planning about the landlady's cold
victuals at meals, for they are all hot.
If you want to bake bread Just put it in.
to refrigerator and it will soon be
done. Ice-cream signs are all taken in,
and the young men cease to be taken in,
! as ice cream can not endure this weather
and survive.
If YOU put rods on your house to pre-
| vent the heat from striking it your Ia
strike down through the roof and catcf
you, even if you are under feather
| bed.
The man who ventures out with coo
soaked brick in his hat, thinking tc
knock the heat off with it, will soon &C
to ground struck either by the heat ol
the brick. Lawyers to-day are actually
sweating in their efforts to make Other
people sweat. Old grudges seem to be
softening and running away, and ole
sailors say that there is certainly cleal
passage to the North Pole and it woult
be good time to start out for it now il
you were we'll equipped with liner
busters and have goot assortmcn
| of fans. Fans do no good here. a,
they merely blow the heat against YOU
face and singe your beard oil. If ont
were Shadrach, Mcsach or an Abed
nego he might go through this fer,
ordeal without singe, but l do no
think any of us are eligible for the posi-
ton. Yet if you start out with buggy
you will be apt to think that you arr
an Elijah making the trip in fiery
chariot-though without clearance
papers. Money in you pockets get
hotter than ever and burns holes III
them a great deal quicker.
It is such fierce holiness that we ar,
grievously depressed because we car
not run around and pay other peopl'
what we owe them-so are said othe
people. The umbrella handle actually
blisters your hand when you start ou'
with it. while you feel that you are ;
sort of walking conflagration, ant
yearn for some one to put you out
The fiery illusions of the poet can not be
quenched even by the cold water whicl
the humane editor throws on them
Figures of speech are inadequate tt
express the figures of heat. The eartl
is heated SO far down that we will hav
hot winters for some time. But we cal
safely state that book agents, insuranc
men, feas, flies and other insects ar
standing this hot spell wonderful.
well.-A. W. Beilaw, IN Detroit Fire
Press.