The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-07-29
WIT AND HUMOR.
HIS QUEEN.

| Her lowly courtiers come and go with tribute
| TO their Queen.
! a baDshty ''thanKs'' she doth bestow upor
| each slave, ween,
| 1ut never yet was loves bright glow upor
| her features seen.
Around her lie the precious stores which
power and wealth command
Perfumes, rich spices, glittering oreS-ths
treasures of each land:
| a stream of gold and silver pours into hel
tiny hand.
| Were 1 the King of that sweet Queen, wee
put aside our throne;
| Our Court should be the meadows green by
! summer breeZes blown;
And many smile and kiss I'd CLEAN from hel
my love- my own.
Sub rosa.)
| This stately goddess adore checks cash the
liye-long day,
| And changes bills from till4 which biliou,
| patrons pay,
In Piggin's pin and plaster store, at No. =
Broadway.
Texas siftngs.
j. K Emmett, the actor is now his
| own manager They take many drink
| Observation-Disclosures Call.
When a girl changes beaus does she
renew her youth ?-Burlington Free
Press. 1t depends on the age of the
new beau.
'.Is that the Rebel yell?'' asked an
Ohioan in front of the Kimball House.
NO" replied a courteous Colonel, sit is
only an ice-cream cake man. "-AtLantO
Constitution.
Come back and all will be forgiven
is the usual card published by loafel
| whose wife leaves him after wearing
herself out trying to support HIM
Orleans Picayu7e.
One of the Lynn primary school teach.
ers few days since asked her scholars
the question: What is dustP" One
little fellow answered.: please, marin,
it is mud with the water squeezed out. -
Lynn Item.
THE Chicago policeman" says the
Boston Record, NOW holds his head sc
high, through proper pride, that he is
easily mistaken for an Alderman. But
our policemen don't look that way.-
Chicago Tribune.
Keely, the motor man, is still on the
verge of perfecting his great invention.
| Keely has staid on the verge longer
than any man on record. A verge is
much more difficult to manage than q
bicycle, too. = Chicago Tribune.
Conspicuously displayed upon the
couple of good-looking marriageable
young ladies, is sign bearing the en-.
couraging words: mo offer refused. u
Virginia city (Nev.) Enterprise.
An Oregon young woman has brought
breach-of-promise suit against her
father because he gave his consent to
the match and then backed ont. The
young man got discouraged and mar.
ried another woman. Hence The suit.
This strike business is assuming more
ridiculous phases every day. 1t is now
said that the inmates of an Infants
Home in New York have struck against
being brought up on the bottle. This
is reliable, if true.-NoTviStoaOaa Herald.
The New Haven Register says: .In
article on Yale yesterday, for alum
water read alma mater" This is as
bad as the Iowa editors erratum. 'In
poem on our first page, for dirty shirt
read duty shirk. - Washington Post.
A Boston paper, in speaking of Miss
Barnes presentation to the Queen in
London, says she wore "dem short
sleeves" Whether this is profanity, OF
in short for democratic" or is only
''demi-short," with an put out, we can
only guess.-LOeoeU Courier.
People who pick up pamphlet with
this title:- '.Ihe Length of Mans
Days Is to a Certain Extent in His Own
Hands, " thinking it a strikers eight
hour manifesto or Knights of Labor
document, find it is only patent-medi-
cine brochure.-Sprjnqfetd Homestead
Doctor-Yes, madam, 1 think you are
overworked. Patient-But DO look at
my tongue, doctor. and tell me why il
looks SO badly. Dcctor-Oh, that's the
result of oyerwork. Keep perfectly
quiet and it will look better Troy
Times.
Suitor-''Sir, you are undoubtedly
aware of the object of my visit" Father
Il believe you desire to make my
daughter happy. Do you really mean
it?" Suitor-"Unquestionably." Father
-"Well, don't marry her, then. y
Fliegende BEaetter.
'Der's trubble in de church. De vale
OBJ de temple am rent to twain; de con-
gregation am done gone busted, and
dar was no preachin' dis mawnin',' -
was the picturesque description of
church troubles in an African church by
an aged member.
The wages of stone-cutters in a por-
ton of Europe have been recently ad.
vanced to 80 cents day. As soon as
one of them gets over here, however,
and goes to work at $3.50 a day, he
strikes for $3.50, and heads a dynamite
riot if he doesn't get it.
A man jumped off a railway train
and sprang into hack. What hotel
do you wish to 90 top asked the driver.
Il am an lrishman and have just ar
rived in this country, and -" "Ah,
L see! You want me to take you to the
polls. "-ArkGnSQ2U ITaUeler.
The title of the recent Greek play
bothered those who were not up in the
dead language. A pretty young miss
was overheard telling friend in a
street-car that the performance by the
college boys of The Anarchists was
truly lovely. "-PhiEadeIphta Bulletin.
The Rev. j. H. Cason, Graham, Tex.
said: Il am thinking of going North
to beg some money to aid in building
two Baptist churches in Texas. What
would you adviser" We advise him tc
take with him enough to pay his ex-
penses back. - Richmond Religious
Herald.
Compensation: "Ullo, Jones! You
In Paris?" Yes; I've just run over for
holiday" Where's your wife?''
Couldn't come, poor dear. Had to
stop at home on account of the babyr'
why, your holiday will be half spoiled. ="
Yes. Mean to stay twice as long to
make up. "-Ptnch.
Hostess Sunday morning in Wash
lngton)-'Is there any particular min
lister you would like to hear preach,
Penelope?' Penelope Visiting from
Boston, -"Well, if you don't mind,
auntie, think would like to hear one
of the foreign Ministers. l am quite
proficient in languages, you know. y
Rdrper's Bazar.