Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-27
FUN.
An after-dinner snea,.

TUW.
An after-dinner speaker ,
bon cracker. me
SoNG of the Esquimau-Tho
Place Like Home. ''es
A BASEBALL pitcher doesn,.
know how to pitch his voice a
A DEALER advertises a e.
cigar" We know of nothing VIII
in more need of reform than tho WIZ
cigar. Nv
The baseball umpire shon,d
good arbitrator in labor troubles
man has had more exper;en es
strikes.
A YOUNG man, absent on a ~:
Paris, writes that he has hoa
through the capital of France and
siderable of his own.
The man who gambled av.,
house and lot and became ;ns.,
consequence, furnished an ill.,
ton of the old adage: "out q,
out of mind. Boston Courier
"I'M afraid I cannot give you
rating as shot," said the Cant.
the company to the private. d
not, sir?" asked the private. "Bec
your shooting is SO bad. don,
lieve you could hit a cat" "Dm
ever know q man who could hit
sir ?"-Bosto1e Courier.
JoNEs-Why, Brown, your CLAN
preposterous. How do you eyer|
pect to get it through Comm
Brcwn-Easy enough; I've hired n
fuential United States Senator for
lawyer. Jones-Ah, I see. Bu|
must cost heap of money. Brow
Yes, and I have to take him in as i
ner, too.-TcEnS Sl7tl71gS.
TO A FOND LOVER.
You say you are blue. gentle lover,
You soy that the maiden is coy
Now don't take to cups OF cold poison
But macte VIRTUE, old boy.
Walk, talk with her. ply her with post
Haunt her steps like a dog or dun,
And at last she will list to your woopp
I'll wager you twenty to one.
Perseverance will conquer in all thing
You learned that in school long ago,
And she'll marry you sooner or later,
Just to SEQ you less often, you know.
The Rambler.
IMAGINATION is a great help in thu
depreciation of poetry. Take, for
stance, these lines on "Disonances:'
"Oft in the midst Of music rare
Comes break in the fluent mir,
But, as the deft musician plays
On to the end"
Here imagination booms us righ
to climax. We know that if any
developed musician plays on to the
of a fractions boy, that the disona
will be very contiguous. -Yon
Gazette.
A NEW YORKER who was travelin
Maryland came across a big dry
about forty rods long in the outsl
of town. and naturally inquired !,
it was for. "a CANAL" was the ans
"Why wasn't it finished?" "Nol
of it. By the time they had dug
far the company was consolidatedV
a railroad, the subscriptions were al
the stockholders frozen out, and
leading men ready for a years pleas
trip to Europe. Wall Street Neacs
DR.. HOLMES says that con horse}
a mans system becomes clarified,
cause his liver goes up and down
the handle of churn." DIR. Holmt
half right-just about half right. l
should ever get on native Da
pony that had inherited bad disl
ton he would be surprised to find
self climbing up toward the blue V
of heaven making frantic effort:
clutch his liver which would be 6
on ahead of him like the handle
churn that had tried to agitate col
of gallons of nitro-glycerine. E
line Bell.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO PARIS
You would think to hear him talk awhile hi
fought with bear and crocodile
And conquered shark, and snake. and c
panzec;
He was valiant, brave, and mighty, and as t
as ignum-vitB,
Smart as fabricated lightning lunging tbr
immensely!
He had killed and tanned cannibal ar
found him very tannable),
And had slaughtered many murd'rous
quimau,
he had thrust his livid dagger through
hearts core Of the jaguar,
Killed Patagonian giant before break
don't you knowi"
But despite Partisan Pasteur, that gres:
drophobic master,
Anad dog through his village once did fee
And he had such fear Of rabies that he
turned two babies,
And In wild, bare-headed fury rushed to c
the nearest tree!
Lynn Union.
HE WANTED TO AKBI7'RATE.