Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-06
BRIGHT BITS.

WHY teach girl to speak several languages
when ~ a wife She can talk him bald headed
with one p Waterloo 06serUey.
kiss the baby while you can" MARBLES
poet. Thanks, we Will wait till she is Is and
risk our chances BurLiHgt0l Free Press.
THE chaplain Of the House Of Representa-
tives gets So for praying OnlEfflv We minutes.
IIe's in luck. We know a man n Buffalo who
prayed far dollar a whole week and didn't
get it.-ROchester Post FSpress.
A BURLINGTON NAN mas rtven up baniering
his wife. tie susbed at her for uein2 cos
metics. and she informed hi that when he
stopped painting his nose she would stop
painting her cheess.-Free Press.
TIE PRESIDENTS SISTER has put her fair
veto upon smoking IN the White House, and
Grover mas now to tip the Wink to Dan Man
ning when he wants him TO come out and
have pipe in the woOdshsd.-F Fail Rtger
HeraEd.
COMPLIMENTS OF the season in Wisconsin
It IS demonstrated that the weight Of the
cart II $500 0.e0l, 000,cO0 sons yet the thin
b'eful OF allcge! grams that edits the Cam
b,3a Nose Bug thinks he tits it up when he
walks abroad.-For Lake Brfese.
ANGRY FATHEE-"Now. confound it, why
don't you 90 10 practising? just see that girl
across the street, how devoted she is to her
Unappreciative ofspring 49, "stop right
there, father. That girl may he studIons and
all mat hut that's atype writer she's playing
on"-PaIcb.
MOTHERS DEVOTION: ''My dear daugh
ter, you should begin to think about entering
a convent and becoming a num-" But. my
dear mother, why didn't YOU 90 into con-
vent when you were girl and become
nunT How can you ask such silly ques-
tion2 refused to become nun on account
Of my love for you."-Tesas Stftin0s.
a PARIsIAN WINS boasting to his untraveled
friends thai he had made the trip from New
York to Havre IN five days. When he was
laughed az for the absurdiJy of his statement
he replied, with dignity: "Oh, it is only we
irst -class passengers that can make such
good time. The second class passengers do
not arrive until two days later. - French Pa
per.
THE Hartford EUeniNG Poat contains this
startling piece of information: emperor
William of Germany recently shot twenty
one head Of game sitting in his easy char"
IL must he dwfully cXasp rating to find
twenty one mead OF game sitting in ones easy
chair. and under the circumstances one can
not really blame Kaiser William for shooting
the critters.-.Bott4n TTalnsertDt.
BoY-"Jus' 'eave your plan, and the COM
missOuers VIII examine IT."
NlsitOr-"b Look here, sonny. this amt a plan
for putting the wires under ground; it's
plan for putting a bilthrough the Legislature
making the commission hereditary, 80 that
when the present Commissioners get too old
to meet, their children can step right in and
90 on drawing the sa airy. just say ] want
to see 'em PERSONALLY, please. Puck.
az SAY. id you hear the lstest?" asked Mrs.
Peyster Of Mrs. De Tohgns. c0nAdentally.
mo, Pm sure, what can It nef"
"Well, Inns must go no further, but they do
say that PInkertOn just shamefuily abuses his
family" r-
You dohtl Wen, always suspected"
You did? What did yOu suspect?'
'Oh, on4yin 4 general way"
"We ell. th0t's al ! heard"
And thetwO tal5ei for half an hour, snd
! that was out all they said.-HartT0rd Post.
MYTHICAL REFLECTIONS
The B0TNa Galied Lucretia
Wa6a-sai mt VIC now are told,
And Tel .neer shot the apple
From his sons head, brave and bold;
And shakespeare never wrote his plays,
King Arthurwas myth,
And P1cahontas. some one says,
Meier rescued MIR. Smith
Did anything e'er happen?
s Whatw want 10 know,
And have the great big history chaps
Been Pulling the long bow?
Perhaps no one has ever brcaihed,
And we're not living men;
And perhaps we all are waiting
For the Whichness 81 the when.
Boston Budget.