Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-09-30
WIT AND HUMOR.
HIS JOKES WE'RE OLu

and hid BITS, which were good enough
Tor Ili-Bhs so he thought-ihe callow
youth
But his jokes were MEDIEVAL. and sometimes
were quite primeval-very Adamesque
ana Eve-al in their grayness old and
hoar.
For he'd go way back and rake up, all the
Jokes That he could shake up. used by
Abraham aud Jacob, and Melchisedec
and Noah.
And the only jokes that he saw, gouging with
his humorous see-saw, were well known to
Ham and Esau- and 10 Shem on Ararat--
Jokes that curdled. like freezer ancient
souls like julius Caesar, Ezra Esther,
Ebenezer, Jephtha, Job, Jehoshaphat:
Jokes endured by Nicodemlss and by Romu-
lus and Remus. and the cyclop, Polyphe.
mus, and his cannibal compeers--
Jokes that sent shivering spasm, through
the ola chaotic chaSm,. OF the primal pro-
toplasm of the prehistoric years!
-rid-Bits.
The bay window is gradually going
out OF public favor in New York.
Pat-'Be jabers, what harrud tonnes!
If | had me loife insured I'd take it.
The wise young man always laughs
at his tailor's jokes. - RhiLadelphta CdA
what is the meaning of 'rococo,'
Adelbert?" 'Why, rocco is beverage
N'SN' N-NNNAi'i'ClS III Dldil, Dldub lIOLD
the fruit of the rococoanut tree"
Annie and Emily were enjoying their
first bath in the glorious surf at Old
Orchard. 1t began to rain while they
were in the water. Emily started to
wade ashore Where are you going?"
asked Annie after my rubbers," said
Emily.-Harper's Bazar.
"Do you think l could mold public
opinionP" asked an aspiring young poll
tician of veteran in the profession.
Perhaps you might" said the other;
'some of the stories you introduced in
your speech seemed a little moldy.n-
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
A Chinaman was witness in a case
before the District Court yesterday af-
ternoon, and, when it was asked him if
he desired a chicken killed upon which
to make oath, Indignantly exclaimed:
"Hella, ne; cuss alice samee Mclean
man. Albuquerque (M NJ Journal.
you are going to erect Il monument
to your fathers memory, | SUPPOSED"
40, no. Monuments crumble and decay
and are forgotten. We are going to do
something that will keep his memory
alive much longer" whats that?''
1--WE are going to fight in The courts for
his property. "-EG.
Father What ought | to do TO boy
who is lazy and disobedicnt, who has
no respect for his parents? What should
be done to that kind of boy?" Son
Don't for Heavens sake talk him to
death. Give me the llckin' that's com
in to me an be done with it, "-IeraS
SJttngs
Koscusko Murphy say, Gus, do you
believe in horoscopes? Gus De smith
No, | believe it is all nonsense about
horoscopes. Murphy-Well, don't. |
am satisfied that all the girls to whom |
have been engaged were born under
the influence of the crab, for they all 90
back on me. - Teas SUtingS.
Gladstone should think OF the states
man in the little Vermont town of
Bridgewater who made hot fight in
March meeting for the Office of constable,
and ut the end, in answer to an inquiry
rs to how he felt, roared out in his high
keyed voice: Defeated, but not dis
mayed! There's gum a-growin' YETI
Boston Record.
Col. Witherspoon is well known in
Austin for the meanness of the dinners
to which he invites his friends One
day he said to Gilhooly: Il wish YOU
would come and dine with me.
"When?" "Well, say two weeks from
to-day" 'i'm sorry can't come that
day, for I've got an engagement to at
tend the funeral of Il dear friend. ~
Teas SJtlngS.
Bob Ingersol was recently talking
with an old colored woman in Wash
ington upon religious matters. 'Do you
really believe Aunty," said he ''that
people are made out of dust?' "Yes,
sab; the Bible says dey is, an so
b'lieves it. But what is done in wet
weather, when there is nothing but
mud?" 'Den | s'pects dey make inf
duls an SIGH truck. "--Puck.
Smith Cat the circus) Never too old
for the circus, ELI, BROWNE Brown
Il don't care anything about it myself;
but somebody had to come with the
boy" Smith--''Is that your boyP"
Brown-''W ell-er-no my boy was
taken sick at the last moment-poor lit
tie chap!-and so I brought neigh
boris. All, me! we were all young
once, Smith.
A young man of Elmsport, Pa, who
very much in love With q young wo-
man of that place, insisted upon "see-
ing her home from church" the other
night, She objected. He insisted.
She slapped his face. He followed her
and entered the house. She got a whip
and drove him out. He fingered on
the piazza. She drove him off He
says he will nave that girl yet.
Well, all the fools are not dead yet.
A financial reporter on a New York
paper got a tip and won 100000 in a
single stock transaction. In another
transaction a day later he lost every
cent of it. Now let him sit down and
figure up how many glasses of lager
100000 would have bought, and then
90 out in dark spot and kick himself
for exercise. r. Grand Rapids Telegraph.
Old gentleman Ito tramp Nov, il
| should give you Il nickel, my friend.