The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1886-10-28
THE SHIRT OF NESSUS.

painful necessity, entailing dozens of
petty shifts to keep up appearances.
Think of descendant of the great
Sans Idee family being obliged to wear
a false shirt-front on all but full-dress
occasions, because ruthless washer
woman turks behind every clean shirt
with her "little billr or cooking his
own breakfast over the gas!
That's where impecunious fat swells
have me cold. They can openly live on
crackers and call it Banning" while
my attenuated style of manly beauty
forDids the idea.
o! It's all very we'll to say 81, 200 a
year is enough for any bachelor, but l
am not taking points on that subject
You see, i am on neither a tow-path nor
rail-splitting basis. l am a '.Swell, {"
and. though none of my dear ''ten hun
dred" suppose me a catch, l take
deuced good care they do not find out
just how poor AM, having my mail
sent to the office and seeing the fellows
at the club.
Consequently, being good dancer
and something very special in the way
of small talk, seldom have to dine at
my own expense; when l do, don't, to
be Irish.
Tho 21st of December found me alter
nately staring at myself in the green
iooking-glass over my washstand, curs-
ing the fate that made me poor, with
the tastes of nabob, and glancing
through my mail which had not had
time to read the day before.
All blue-coated requrs for ''some-
thing on account" dropp behind the
washstana, the only place the chamber
maid never examines. | actually was
obliged to hide my cOSmetique pour le
moustache there, and then she had the
cheek to ask me ''if wasn't goin' ter
have any more of that sweet smellin'
stuff that kept the hair so nice and
smooth"
Several stiff cards informed me that
by bestowing the pleasure of my COM
pany on very distinguished families at
different dates | was secure of dinners
two weeks ahead. These / answered in
the affirmative with much stately con-
densation, on Tiffany's best society note
(S1 per quire), while finishing my sim
pie breakfast of hardtacK and coffee
And yet they SAY. there are no Spartsns
left!
VI
Pussy Blacksmith inviting me TO a
square party at the opera that evening.
Now. do come" she wrote. Me
and you, Lollie Bates and Tommy
Prior Us four; no more; ma being
sick with the headache (the headnchel
good gad! what English) SO we shan't
have TO bother with no shaperun. praise
Betsy! Now, mind, if you slip out of
Mts party the way you've been doing to
all my others I'll take back all | said on
the stairs at the Tedcastles Tuesday.
Saber'
Sweet, refined creature, and girl all
over, expecting ne to remember an aft
er-supper Irritation. She could take
back all her twaddle and learn better
than No. she couldn't either, for,
you see. proposed taking the adorable
grammar, and all
for rich and better, to have and to hold,
if / could get her; and she was one OF
those nagging girls that expected all
her nonsense 10 be craven on fellows
heart. etc. So il was rather awkward
to have forgotten what she referred to.
on me I'd have to take her some flow
their perfume, it was so elusively ex-
quisite." So it ought to be at 81 bud.
20 girls! girlsr' | cried, 'why exact
these scalps from your luckless friends?
You know bouquets are nuisance at
balls or opera, and the next morning
there is nothing left but two heavy
eyed fools"
One wondering. eff the girls noticed
she had nine bouquets?"
The other. "How the deuce he is to
paw his florists bill?"
Why not let us give you once winter
some solid token of our gratitude for the
plate of ice-cream and headadhe we get
at your germans. and nave done with
it. Because well-bred girl will not
be indebted to her men friends for ex-
pensive gifts"
Correct! of course, and yet my flor
lists bill is running so far over $500 that
never expect to overtake it, and have
paid Mr.. Cerberus his sops on account
for as much more this winter.
Sootned by these reflections. l pro-
ceeded to an examination of my few
collaterals, ending, rs usual, at my
watch, which makes such regular visits
to certain obliging relative that it is
worthy to be recorded on his pink tick
cts as valuable repeater" tell you
there's not much moss OH it. The last
of each month l roll it to Uncle Lom-
hardy, and the first of the next he rolls
it back-for II consideration. Regular
game, you know. In fact. it's by such
games that many of us .gay young
dogs" oil the springs of life and keep
our places In the social treadmill.
Pocketing the watch with a sigh,
left few letters in the top drawer to
Amuse my lapdlady and her staff, and
departed to negotiate the loan.
Finding Mr.. Lombardy affable to the
extent of $40 l resumed my way down
town on foot, partly because 'its En-.
glish, you know" to take long tramps,
more because twice ten is twenty, and
20 cents means for me two sandwiches
at Delmonico's, with the pyivilege OF
welding my toothpick in front after.
wards, wearing an air of repletion, a:
though to say: .'Yaas, find after all
'DeP gets up the best lunch; tried the
shedders to-day"
Dropping in at Mr.. Cerberus' / or
dered in my best style of languid-don't t,
care-for- expense manner, About thirty
five Jack buds, sent to Miss-er-Pussy
Blacke-Smith with Mr.. Simone Sans
Idee's card'' and his hearty maiedic
tions lowering over his offering.
Would you find it convenient to pay
for these now? MIR. Cerberus says he
does not care to extend the account,
stammered the obsequious clerk, with g
sickly smile Poor beggar, he doubt
less objected to the duuning busines:
as much as l.
Certainly" 1 said, handing my
hard-earned pile over the counter
But tell Mr-er Cerberus, l added
severely, ''that if he thinks best to dur
me, one of his oldest customers, in thi.
beastly way, shall transfer my patron
age to some other dealer"
Most annoying, am sure sir, )" muir
INJURED the clerk; "but he has so many
outstanding bills and alarge amount 4