Morning journal and courier., 1886-08-23
REL ECTED.

At tenn mperance meeting in New Hamp- shire the contribution box was rejected be- cause it was full.-Burlington Free Press.
 "You are making yourself rather oficious in this crowd" said a burly policeman to notorious pickpocket. ''I am only trying to dispurse them," said the thief.-Pretzels Ma tional Weekly.
 William Tells apple is still believed in by the Swiss, who celebrated the fiftieth ami versary of their independence yesterday. Every Swiss carries an apple in his throat to commemorate this event. - Philadelphia News
 Lightning recently passed between mule and 8 lawyer in Texas and killed the lawyer. It was not easy to discriminate between the two, but the lightning evidently wanted to test it's powers to the fullest, and 50 chose the hardest subject.-Boston Post.
 ssDon't you consider it rather remarkable that the Rev. MT. Snaggs breaches now with much frequency as he did forty years ago?' "Oh, don't know. I don't think mans frequency is apt to wear out soon some other parts of his organism. ."-Tid-Bit
 In Chicopee (Mass) Sunday school the pastor in making some appropriate re- marks" recently took out his watch by way of illustration and asked confidipgly, "Now, what kind of watch do you suppose it is:" A youngster on the back seat shouted out loud enough to be heard in Bridgeport, IA Waterbury. w Waterbury American.
 The Shad and the Fisher.-A Shad which had been Hooked by Fisherman, claimed that an Unfair Advantage had been taken of him. Inasmuch he had Never seen a Hook before. ''That may be True," replied the Fisher, ssbut if I sat here to Teach you Wisdom I should dine on Bean Soup in Place of Shad." Moral: Don't Expect Gambler to Post you on his Game.-Detroit Free Press.
 .(at Rangeley Lake)-'T'm glad the sum- mer is nearly over" B.-'Didn't they bitea' A.-"The mosquitoesa" B.-"No; the fish" A.-"Pve caught more than want" B.-'.What do you, find fault with then." A.-"1 don't mind the expense, and that sort of thing. But I am tired to death work ing so hard for my amusement. tell you, I want to go back to my business and have a rest. ."-Boston Beacon.
 The illustrious traveller looked contemptu ously at the mountains. ''Nothing very steep about here," he said scornfully. "Make out his bill," said the noble landlord, turn ing to the gallant clerk. Pronounced Clark) And great hush of measureless awe came into the office and sat down on a trunk lis tening to the remorseless scratch of the busy pen that was laying grade of about four feet to the yard.-Burdette.
 True Love.-A young man at the risk ot his life saves beautiful young girl from drowning. Her grateful father seized the rescuer of his daughter by the hand, and in voice tremulous with emotion said: ''No- ble youth, to you am indebted for every thing that makes life dear to me. Which reward will you take-$2OO, 900 or the hand of my daughters'' ''Ill take the daughter" replied the heroic rescuer, thinking thereby to get both the girl and the money. "You have well chosen" replied the grateful father; sI could not have given you the s2OO, ,O0O just yet anyhow, as have not yet laid up that amount, being only poor edit or, but my daughter is yours for life. Take her and be happy. God bless you, my chil- dren!'-From the German in Texas Siftings.