davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
Wit and Humor.

A waggish spendthrift recently
said, Five years ago | vas not
worth a cent in the world; now see
where | am through Ely own exer
tom Well, where are you?'
why, / owe more than $4,000"
An Irish footman who got a
situation at the West End Of Alb.
beville, on entering a room where
there was a vase with golden fish,
exclaimed: We'll. this is the first
time / ever saw red behring's
alive"
A bright little boy in AhbeviIle
a few days since, listening With
intense interest 70 the Story o.
Jonah and the whale. az its con2ln-
sion. responded, wasn't il luck Ike
whale didn't chaw hln?'
A cooper on seeing a dandy with
his fingers covered with rings,
declared that the io,. must lie q
feeble chap, as i was always q sure
sign of weakness IN a barrel wten
a great many hoops were used upon
it,"
a good story is told q AT
Eng!ishman who boosted 10 an IN.
dian that tie SUI never set upon
tho territory Of lis c~ountrymcn.
"Tghl" exclaimed SnGtleG I',ii.
Great spirit afraid to trust
Englishmen 10 the daik."
John phcnix once said, that when,
from the deck Of an outgoing
sreane: he shouted to 8 friend.
"Good-bye, Colonel two-th;rd-
of the crowd Oh the what raised
their hats and said, "good-hgv. Oh
fel. Takker yersctf."
We'll, Jones, | su. sose YEA nave
been out to look at Texas. Did
you see anything Of or tilnd
out thcre?!" YES, gone
deranged." HAS he?' Yes, iudeed
he dosen't know his hogs from tAose
of his neEghbor."
Some wag tells q story Of an old
gentlemen whose eight Or tcn clerks
bored him constantly with ronun-
drums. Going bone orc evening
lest week he was stopped in t:"nt
ola closed store by a co%urtryman
Can you tell me, my friend, VIII
his store is closed?" GO 70 blazes
with your conundrums," cried lie,
I've been bored to death with 'c:a
those three weeks"
In a jolly company each one was
10 ask a question; if it was answer.
ed he paid a. forfeit. and if he
couldn't, he paid a forfeit. Pats
question was: How does the little
ground squirrel dig his hole without
showing any dirt around the
sntrance?" When they all gave up
Pat said, "Sure do you see he begins
at the other end" One of the
party exclaimed, But how does
he get there?' All" says Pat, "that
Is your question, answer yourself"
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16

The vanish on carriages is often
rn'""3 by being housed where
ammonia arises from horse manure
therein. This may nc avoided Nv
spnnkling plaster freely. r also
makes the stables healthier for horses.
Snt carriages should he kept Ill a
separate building.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
What is Home without a Mother?

What IS Home without a Mother?
And vet how many of us have
unhealthy mothers, wives. sisters and
daughters. If they would only use
Creole Female Tonic. all the Ills 10
Which womankind are heirs would
vanish like mist beneath a MONDAY
sun. This inestimable remedy is al
infaIlible cure for weakness, nerv.
oasness, monthly irregularities. pain
fal m%enstruation and all female com.
p,aints. For sale by N. G Young,
Druggist, Abheville, La.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
!: !: : !: =: :: #; !; : $: $: ::;;

vol vii! get free a package OF
goods Of large value. that will start
YOU in work that will at once bring you
in money faster than anything else in
america. All abou: 100000 in pres
eats with each box. Agents wanted
everywhere, Of either sex. If ali ages,
for all the time, or spare time only, to
work for us at their " homes. For
tunes for all workers absolutely assured
Don't delay IL. HALLErr l. Co.,,
Portland, Maine.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
J.E SCHWARTZ GO. 3. A. Fsnn sess@1st son4 Co., Phtshulg, Pa, Sole Proprietor
uuN81 Send six cents Tor
postage, and receive
free a costly box of
UIOgoods which will

nelp you t" 'note mrrey right away
than anything else in this world. All
of either sex, succeed from first hour.
The broad road to fortune opens be-
fore the workers. absolutely SUITE. At
once address, TRUE l. Co., Augusta.
Maine.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
Official DIRECTORY.

Official Directory.
District Judge.
CONRAD DEBA1LLos.
District Attorney.
ROBERT c, SMEpEs,
Clerk of District Court,
LAsTlE BRoUssAsp.
Representative.
[ Robert. P. O'BRYAs.
Sheriff e. Tax Collector,
JOSEPH S. NuSEz.
DR.. W. D. WHITE.
Police Jury.
81. HoFFPAu1R, President.
NJ. L.. ELDREDGE, u. BRoUssARn
RoBT. GREEN, T.. J. MORGAN.
II. Fl. BARTELs J. A.. LEBLANC
Clerk Of Police Jury.
LYMAN G. Lyons.
Parish Treasurer,
ELIJAH WISE. +,
Town Council.
J. j. ABAD1E, Mayor.
R. Fl. Mills, J. N. BEAuxIs
S. WISE, N. G.. Youyc
Constable.
GEORGE E. Lyons.
Justices Of the Peace, Sd. Ward;
l.. C. LYONS. G. LABAUyE
Surveyors,
W. w. EDWARDS. E. MoNTAGNs,
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
WHAT is IT?

BY a SPECIAL arrangement win
the publishers of Farm and Flres'oe
We can for a short time offer a lres
gift in connection with orr paper. y
is a MAGNIFICENT ENGaAV,
ING entitled "HAMF ri ana
OPHELIA." Our O. i IS ~
lows:
The price Of Peck Snn oDa ear
is - 90
Thu price of Farin 4 sd one
year so -
The value Of the Engraving IS Y.
II $50
$500
We give all tie above. vor'a
$500. for only $500. Subscribe -
Peck's Sun at once and secure .hffA
all. Adirss.
PEM's sun, Milwaukee, Wis
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16
Tm&Teekly&iGaynue

This mammoth sixteen page paper
is the best and cheapest weekly
paper published in the South. In cen
densed form it contains all the news of
the week. tho cream of all literary mat
ter and the bestspecial features Of the
Sunday issue, with an important AGR1-
CULTURAL DEPARTMENT, conducted by
DANIEL BENNETT, and the LATKsrMAR-
KEr REPORTS. The Weekly IL published
EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, ard
reaches all Subscribers for Sunday
reading.
$4,000 worth Of useful and
ornamental articles for ladies
and gentlemen, girls and
boys, are offered to all who
will get subscribers for the
Weekly Picayune. Lists Of
these valuable presents will
be sent TO any address.
TERMS az SUBSCRIPTION
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16

600 & 500 Broadway, New York.
Pay the Highest Market Price ior all
kinds 81 birlskins, Egrct, White Ceane,
Heron-plumage, etc. Ship direct to New
York.
Can use only large quantities.. Express
charges mus be prepaid OIL sample pack
ages. Aug Is 1881.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1886-10-16

The Abbeville MERlDIoSAL and
the New Orleans WEEKLY PICA.
YuSE will be dubbed together for
So a year, payable invariably in ad
vance.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
Drinking in Persia.

The manufacture and sale of wine and
LIQUOR is carried on in Persia exclusively
by Armenians, who almost Invariably
grow rich at it, says a correspondent OF
the Chicago Nesos. Indeed, it is held
here the best paying business-that oi
selling drink. The Persians, being for
the most part Shutes, are forbidden by
the Koran to make or drink wine and
splits, and the small fraction OF
Sumistes in the North are just as strict
in this respect. Isay they are forbidden,
which does not mean, however, that they
all obey. Quite the contrary; it is only
the poor who do not infringe the inJunc.
ton laid upon them by the prophet.
Among the well-to- do and powerful there
are but few who do not openly or secretly
violate this law. There are many Mos.
lens. besides, who maintain that beer and
spirits are not forbidden them by the
Koran, and in Turkey they call cham.
payne by the euphemism ciderso as to get
over the wine clause in the holy book.
However, the mullahs and all those
learned in the sacred law are nearly
unanimous in interpreting the passage
in question as including the afore-
mentioned species of 'booze." There
are two passages in the Koran which
are considered to settle this question
pretty effectually. had the curiosity to
look them up in the Koran (Which is al
ways printed in the ori ginal Arabic OF
], $50 years ago, it being deemed sacrilege
to attempt translation into modern
vulgar tongue) and get literal transla-
ton. They read as follows:
sThey will ask thee concerning wine and
games Of chance Answer: In both there II
great sin, and also some things Of use unto
man, but their sinfulness is much greater
than their USE"
This, you will remark, is not direct
prohibition. But the second passage is.
It reads:
"Oh believers! Surely wines and games OF
chance and statues and the divining arrows
are all denominations of Satan's work! Avoid
them, that ye may prosper"
You'll notice that this only speaks OF
wine, alth ugh in Mohammed's time they
had already the date brandy (Which is
consumed in large quantities to this pres
ent day in Arabia, Persia and SYRIA, but
the aforesaid wise men of the East think
that Mohammed had so much to write
and think of that he forgot to put in an
amendment covering spirits. However
that NAV be, certain it is that the wealth
ier Persians are hard drinkers.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
A Use for Blue Bottle Flies.

A gentleman making call at the
house of friend, was astonishcd to find
the rooms and passages in confusion
and, on inquiring the cause was an
swered: ''Oh, We are very much an
noyed here; q rat has come to finish his
existence under the foor of our large
drawing room. We do do not know the
exact place, but we cannot endure the
stencil any longer, so We have removed
the furniture, rolled up the carpets and
called, in the car rpentcrs, who are just
beginning to take up the floor"
"Now' don't be to hasty," said the
VISITOR, ''you need not pull up more than
one board will show you what mean
presently; and, meanwhile, shut down
the drawing room windows and close the
door,"
He then stepped down into the gar
den, walked round to the horse stables,
and after few minutes absence came
back to the drawing-room, he opened
bis hands and out flew two large, blue
bottle flies and buzzed around the room
for a second or two. But presently one
of them alighted on certain plank Of
the floor, and was almost Immediately
followed by the other.
'Now then" said the visitor, stake
up that board and I'll engage that the
dead rat will be found beneath it."
The carpenters applied their tools,
raised the board, and at once found the
cause of the unpleasant smell.-,Sanita-
rian.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
A Question of Pronunciation.

Several correspondents of the World
have Joined issue with its statement in
regard to the pronunciation of the word
Arkansas. and requested the proof of its
statement that it should be Arkansaw.
This will be found in copy of concur
rent resolution passed by the Legislature
of that State, Mar. h, 1881, duly attest
ed copy whereof has been kindly fur
nished by the Secretary of State for the
use of the World as proof for doubters.
1t reads:
Be it RESOLVED, by both houses Of the Cen
eral Assembly, That the only true pronun-
citation Of the name of the State in the opin-
ion of this body, is that received by the
French from the native Indians and COM
ulitted to writing in the French word repre-
Eenting the sound; and that 1t should be pro.
rounced in three syllables, with the final IS"
Bilent, the "a" in each syllable with the ltal-
ian sound, and the accent on the first and last
aylables, being the pronunciation formerly,
and now still most commonly used: and that
the pronunciation with the accent on the sec
ond syllable, with the sound Of ''a" in man,
and the sounding Of the terminal g" Is an
innovation to be discouraged.
If any one thinks these reasons are not
sound, let him write to the Governor of
the State.-NeD York World.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
Fighting on q Fast Train.

Western newspapers tell Of fight on
the Sunset Railway, recently, before day
light. The train was fast one, and the
road rough. In the smoking car were
two blanketcd Mexicans, who, beyond
getting up few times to light ciga-
rettes, did not move. Just before day
light the train pulled up at the little
way side station of Cline, twenty miles
west of Uvalve, Texas. The train
stopped just minute, but long enough
to allow Deputy Shcritfs Baylor and
Nimmo to spring aboard. AS their feet
touched the top steps they threw open
the door, and, aiming couple of revolv-
ers at the Mexicans, ordered them to
throw up their hands. There wa. only Il
single lamp swinging in the car. The
sleepy passengers heard the curt demand,
and looking forward in the dim light
saw the shrouded forms spring hastily
up; the blankets fell from their should
ers, and the ball began.
There was an incessant explosion that
in the cramped and confined space of
the coach sounded terrific. The officers
stood with their Lacks to the door and
worked their revolvers for life. The
desperadoes-o one standing full in the
middle of the aisle, the other with one
hand resting carelessly on the back of
seat and swearing shrilly in Spanish
were enveloped In the smoke of their
own revolvers. Amid the ripping of plush
and tinkle of shivering glass, the scream
ing ard covering men saw the tall form
in the aisle plunge backward to the floor
a dead man. The other desperate,
wounded, one hand pressing his side,
the other holding his empty revolver over
his head, with yell burst by the officers
through the door and leaped to the
ground. Day had broken, and the slow
ing train came to Il stop. One of the
officers sprang after the fleeing, staggcr-
ing figure, and called on it to halt. II
turned and snapped the empty weapon
at its pursuer. Then it went down with
q bullet in the breast.
The officers took an inventory of them
selves. Though bleeding slightly in
several places, they were unhurt, but
their clothes hung in tatters. Baylor,
who stood nearest the Mexicans, had his
clothes literally ribboned; his hands and
the side of his neck were powder burned.
Nimmo had not suffered so severely. The
Mexicans were horse thieves, for whom
the officers had warrants.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
WORDS OF WISDOM,

Suc:ess in life is often achieved by
making good use of adverse circum'
stances.
For drunkenness. drink cold water
for health, rise early: to be happy, be
honest; to please all, mind your own
business.
The temptations of prosperity insinr-
ate themselves after gentle, but very
powerful manner; so that we are little
aware of them, and less able to with
stand them.
He that does good to another man does
also good to himself; not only in the
CONSEQUENCE, but in the very act Of doing
it: for the consciousness of we'll doing
is an ample reward.
If the poor found the rich disposed to
supply their wants, or if the weak might
always find protection from the mighty,
they could none of them lament their
own condition.
Satire is a sort of glass, wherein be-
holders generally discover everybody 5
face but their own; which is the chief
reason for that kind of reception 1t
meets in the world, and that so very few
are offended with it.
Always say kind word if you can, if
only that it may come in, perhaps, with
singular opportuneness, entering some
mournful mans darkened room like q
beautiful freely, whose happy convolu-
tions he cannot but watch, forgetting his
many troubles.
If you cannot be happy in one way, be
in another: and this facility of DISPOSE
tion wants but little aid from philosophy,
for health and good humor are almost
the whole affair. Many run about after
felicity, like an absent-minded man
hunting for his hat while it is in his hand
or on his head.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
Live and Dead IyOry.

"That knife handle is worth twice as
much as the other" said an ivory dealer
to Sun reporter as he pointed out two
handsome knives in case. They looked
exactly alike, so the reporter asked in
what the difference lay.
"WelI, one handle is formed of live
ivory and the other of dead" replied
the merchant. ''By live ivory I mean
ivory taken from an animal recently
killed. That sort of ivory is expensive,
because it is hard to get. 1t is strong,
because there is life in it, and it is used
for the handles of the best knives, and
where dead ivory could not be
used. When an elephant loses
tusk that tusk becomes what
we Call dead ivory. He sheds
the tusk, and it has no strength in it. 1t
is brittle, and breaks easily, and can only
be used for the handles of pocket knives,
or in other forms where the ends are pro-
tected. If they were not, the ivory
would split and crack in very short
time. The ivory taken from the tusks
of the anteailuvian mammoths buried in
the soil of Siberia is, of course, all dead
ivory. It's uses are. therefore, limited.
If you ever want to buy any Ivory goods,
he sure to ascertain VIII ther it is live or
dead ivory before purchasing. If the
former. it is strong and durable; if the
latter, it is brittle and liable to crack,
even where fastered.
THE same rule applies to horn.
Deerhorn and buckhorn, so commonly
used, especially in the handles of pocket
knives. is much of it made from the
horns shed by the deer, and of little
value. The live horn is more expensive" !"
-NeU York Sun
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
Life Depends on the Liver.

Youth-"I have come to ask for the
hand of your daughter"
Physician-"You haveG"
Youth-"Yes, sir. I have enough of
this worlds goods to support her in COM
fort-cven in luxury"
PhySician-"Yes. I am aware of that,
but will you treat her kindly2 Will you
be gentle husband3"
Youth-'I swear"
Physician-"0h, never mind swear
ing. Your intentions are all right, no
doubt, but I must be sure that you won't
worry and fret the life out of her after
you get her. Take off your coat and
let me sound you to see what kind of a
liver you've got" "-B0ston Courier.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
A Story of General Hancock.

heard not long ago from the lips Of
an old timer story about Gen. Hancock
which I have never seen In print, and
which illustrates In a striking light the
high character of that lamented gentle
man AID soldier, writes Los Angeles,
Gal, } correspondent. In 1858, General,
then Capt. Hancock, was stationed at
San Pedro barrack. At that time tin ore
had been discovered in the Temescal
range (near the present town of River
side), and there was a big rush of pros
pectors and spectators to the new dis
trict. Among the prospectors was dis
charged soldier of dissipated habits
known as "Scotty," who had been a
member of Capt. Hancock's company
Scotty was carly on the ground, and Sc
cured good location. In short time
he was approached by some San Fran
cisco spectators, who made trade with
him for his claim, agreeing to pay him
therefor $4,000 or thereabouts. They
offered him drafts on San Francisco for
the amount, which at first Scotty refused
to accept, saying he wanted the coin,
but finally said that if Capt. Hancock
would say that the drafts were all right
he would take them. Hancock had no
interest whatever in the speculation but
the San Francisco parties were friends OF
his, and he told the soldier that the
drafts would be paid. In a short time
the drafts came back protested, owing to
some financial hitch in the affairs of the
San Francisco Company, and scotty
failed to get his money. When the Gen.
eral learned this fact he sent for the
soldier and paid him the whole amount
out of his own pocket. Hancock was
never reimbursed, but he had given his
word to the poor soldier, and his word
was his bond.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21

We haye 80 often soon fatal results follow
the declaration that 1t can be cured, that We
have unconsciously settled down in the belief
that this disease must necessarily prove fatal
It is true that occasionally a community has
witnessed An isolated case Of what may ap-
proprlately be termed spontaneous recovery,
but to what combination Of favorable circur-
stances this result was due mono have hitherto
been found able to determine.
We have now the gratifying fact to announce
that the process by which nature effects this
wonderful change is no longer mystery to
the medical profession, and that the change.
brought about in the system under favorable
circumstances by intrinsic causes may be made
as certainty and moro cxpeditiously by the use
Of the proper remedy. In other words, nature
is initiated and assisted.
Tuberculous matter is nothing moro or less
than ncurishment imperfectly organized.
Now. if we can procure the organization of
this food material 80 that through the process
Of elective affinity it may take it's place in the
system, we can euro the disease. This is Just
what Piso's Cure for Consumption does. 1t
arrests at once the progress Of the disease by
preventing the further supply Of tuberculous
matter, for while the system is under Its in
iuencc all nourishment Is organized and as
simulated. 1t thus controls cough, expectora.
tion, night-sNeats, hectic fever, and all other
characteristic symptoms Of Consumption.
Many physicians are now using this medi-
cine, and all write that it comes fully up to it's
recomme endations and makes Consumption one
of the diseases they caa readily cure.
The forming stage OF a disease Is always the
most auspicious for treatment This fact should
induce persons 10 resort to the use Of p sos Cure
when the cough is first not ced, whether 1t has
a consumptive d:uthesis for its cause or not.
for this reincd. cures all kinds Of coughs with
uncquallcd facility and prUmptness. In coughs
from q simple cold, two or three doses OF the
medicine have been found sufficient to remove
the trouble. go in all diseases Of the throat
and lungs, Nth symptoms Stimulating those
of Cohsllmntioa, Piso's Cure is the only infal-
lihlc remedy
The following letter recommending Fisp's
Cure fot Consumption. is Il fair sample OF the
certificates received daily by the proprietor OF
this medicine:
ALBION, N. Y. Dec. 20, 1885.
Ihad terrible Cough, and two physicians
said would never get well. l then went to
drug store and asked for good cough medicine.
The druggist gave me Pisos Cure, and 1t has
done me more good than any thinRI ever used.
lido not believe could live without it.
IEONORA VERMILYEA.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
Nothing Like IT,


No medicine has ever been known so effec-
tual in the cure Of all those diseases arising
from an impure condition Of the blood as Sco-
Wills SARsAPARILLA, OR BLOOD AND LIVER
SYRUP, the universal remedy for the cure Of
Scrofula, White Swellings, Rheumatism, PIN
pies, Blotches, Eruptions, Venereal Sores and
Diseases, Consumption, Groitre, Bols, Cancers
and all kindred diseases. There is no better
means Of securing beautiful complexion than
by using SCov1LLs SARsAPARILLA, OR BLOOD
AND LIVER SYRUP, which cleanses the blood
and gives permanent beauty 10 the skin.
FOR DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression Of
spirits general debility in their various forms,
also as preventive against fever and Ia ague and
ated Elixir of Calisaya," made by Caswell, Haz-
ard e. Co. New York, and sold by all Druggists,
Is the best tonic; and for patients recovering
from fever or other sickness it has no equal
You get more comfort for Is cts. in Lyons
Heel Stiffeners than in any other article.
Best, easiest to use and cheapest Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. BY druggists.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-21
And Then He Went Away.

A cool piazza
Somehow has
Magical effect at night;
Soft the skies arc
Lovers sighs are
Sweet and sentimental quite.
Winds are ripping,
And stripping
Sits beside dainty dear;
Could the dark air
But spark bear
Of his passion, 'twould look queer
Sure no harm is
When his arm is
Round about her slender waist,
And q bliss is
In his kisses,
Harmonizing with her taste.
But vexation,
CONSERVATION
Follows when voice has said:
"Here, my daughter,
You had oughter
Come inside and 60 to bed"
-Iid-Bits.