Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-07
BRIGHT BITS,

NEW YORK FINN a4vertises: Amateur
aiming fret" We don't blame them; we
would fire 1t ourseves.-Bu Burlington F,ee
Press.
IT Is curious how much faster a street car
2nes Whel yOu are running for il than it dOes
Ah'h You are riding On lt.-Drdbe's TrGUe|sTs'
Magazine
a NEW YORK MAN with a vermilion nose
as tormentIng sdy about her age. "Just
ooh az me-! ne exclaimed. don't look rs u
wa jus out Of my teensY" Yes" she re-
"a, with look of triumph, ''Ot your can
-,en,.' HIS ose was quickly put out of joint
Hhoe 0nd LsatheT Rrpo5ter.
DR.. HAMMOND said at the Nlneteenth,Cen-
ury Club ia New York the other day that IN
moi her thousand wears we viii all be balG.
on, wei; We shall not let his disa greeable
prediction worry MS. Up 10 the hour Of goirg
opress we have plenty OF hair. ana we may
ne dead IN less than another thousand
years. ~ oTrtStOloh Herald.
Mrs GRISDHAM-"What will You have, Mr..
Grower, roast beef or chicken"
Grower - Gimme some chicken ah.
oks' begins 10 eatit, but gives up in de-
spair.l
sir.. G5indham-''Well, what's the matter
,ow?n
Growler-."I can't seem to get around this
cg-iet me have a pine one"
Mrs. Grindham-"A pine one?"
Grow er-'Ye,, it's softer than mahogany"
R W.b'sy.
MAelsTRArE-"You are accused of assault
Ing Pete JOhn-on.n
Prsoner-"Yes. yo Honah Pete lowed
NuZzent no gemman. But / only hit him
vance. san, at the conan Of FO'ty-secOn'
street an FO'th avenue"
Magistrate "Forty-second street? The
policeman says he picSed him up at the cor
zero Twenty-third str ct"
Pr oner-"Am dat so? Well. didn't mean
or hit him az had as dat, Jedge. Deed,
dldn't.'-Ne1o York Times.
'Tpu drlnker win ex,-s.r a A. Grain
W'or t~" e#i Ve.t'. r. r0np,
But the man who uses words profane
p TO- "a -.lsil 81 ga ia.
Boston Courier.
A TOrps WEAKESs.--
Now, what's the use of trying to keep
CIV Years res lutiOn
Which causes loss OF fun and sleep,
And wrecks my conStitutiOn?'
with hat ne gave himself a slap
AND breWed brimmlng, big nj Eht-cap.
-Ael0 York Journal.
A CLERK having invested more or less
money FOR several months iu playing the game
allied policy, and htvirg failed TO make q
-ingle strike, ono day seiIt Il the owner of the
policy shop By the throat and denounced MIN
~ "A Or lou r0bOcr aud MS game a. u Bwludie
Gently, my friend demonstrated the other
An the mOney which you have blown in here
las been taken from Your employers TIL. It is
not You who has lost, but your Employ err"
'ExactlY, ," sad the clerk. AFTER moments
ought, my deep interest in my employers
financial welf re is the very rra-on that n
uces me TO puiverize you. l can't stand by
md see him deliberately swIndled, "-Detroit
rec Press.
THE story OF the ballet girl:
When Music heaven maid, was young,
rhe ballet girl, with silent tongue,
Was tripping on her rigid toes
n much ABR waited cl thes.
Nher pavit danced before the ark,
N1 hrf'tf rf~ 'vr- IN f'tn lHf-.
Ere Noah sailed DER deluged earth
% tt.l4 .ii4i. = b lrturic- uA.t or b,
ere Eve WAS lost ~ serpsnts guile,
Tue ballet-g girls cas- iron smile
Vas fixed upon her pallet face;
Ere sun or moon vas set in place,
ne bailet-gr in chaos danced
"aa re 'ef- Cirl 'f ho tou et tra weed.
Whose charms you admired through your glass.
"a te .tc ~ q, uuAOm l49-
Whose praise still fingers on your tongue,
Is yet, comparatively, young.
For ey'n the worlds not old. you know
Only six thousand Years or 80.
-Bost0n Transcript.