The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-06-26

Savior to his disciples: the Sc,ibes and
Pharisees 81, in Moses seat All there
fore whatsoever they bid YOU observe, that
observe and do Some OF the audience
failed to see that this quotation substantial
ted the lecturers position, but doubtless
they had heen confused by commentators.
| Can a Christian think: The lecturer
demonstrated the negative by uttering in
tragic tone. NO." which reverberating
through the Court House like peal of
laboratory thunder, struck the ceiling
from which i, redounded shiverng lamp
shade in its course, darted to the floor
along which it ran towards the door, went
kissing and whizzing through the air
leaving phosphorescent streak in its trail
till it reached the Baptist Church where,
its force partly spent, it dropped harmless.
| ~ into one OF the port holes Of that edifice.
Becoming somewhat caln,er, the lecturer
declared that II the Bible were from God it
would all be as plain as the hand. writing
Of Horace Greeley. He then compared the
book with nature Look at nature! Look at
the round world wherein are creeping both
small and great lecturers. Don't we know
it all: Is It not plain: Can't you put your
finger on the spot Of life, and can't you
draw out Leviathan with crooked pin:
Can't YOU pluck the flower from the Gran.
MED wall, and explain its iris.hed leaf:
Can't the physician probe the pains Of an
agitated abdomen and say whether it's
green apples or fried cheese: Can't YOU
bind the sweet influences OF the Pleiade>
with tn. yirth strap Of a bucking cayuse:
II J on study the heavens would YOU deign
to notice the works of Proctor, ar any
other astronomer You would use your
own naked eve. unaided even by tele.
scope. Then ii YOU need no help in any
other study why seek assistance from
priest or commentator, in the study Of the
Bible: 1t is perfectly unreasonable ane. to
put it mildly, assanine to seek aid from
one who has made the book special
study (Applause and la,,gh,cr.)
Some of the audience did not clearly ap
prchend the force of the above remarks,
but their opinion is. We submit. a mere
prejudice born y: slavish adherence. 70 tie
ancient landmarks.
The orator then introduced his hearers
to new and original system Of morals.
The only basis for morality, he declares,
is in the fact that there are more than one
man in the world. God does not enter as
didn't believe in Deity. 1T was difficult
God or not Some of his differences in
dictated an aspiration after a being few
inches higher than himself. but his God
seemed to be kind of Flea God-now
you've got him. now YOU hav'nt 60, him.
(astonislment in the audience that there is
~, tI,.,to A4o l.
morality is OF man. Man is his own Coo.
know your duties to your neighbor. And
illustrated the truth Of all this bv the ex.
ample Of Robinson Crusoe on the desert
OF Juan Fernandez. There was not be.
he sin: lie might in his utter despair a,
being 'orsaken. UNFAIR his head but he
could not sin. for sin presupposes society.
Robinson might even get drunk on the bad
gin washed ashore. but that could not have
been wrong. But now NV hearers. it was
not long before Robinson had compan-
ion. One balmv eve. AS Bob was stroling
along the rock .girt shore. meditating
upon the sweets Of tranquility. he espied
standing on a rock a shaggy but gentle
entered into Crusoe's dream tf paradise
Alas. he was no longer the pure and spot.
less saint. lie could nov sin! The speak.
er then described graphically Mr.. t.rusoe's
efforts to make friends with the gentle.
eyed goat, which happened to be Of the
masculine gender. How Bob spoke softly
and soothingly to it! How he called it
Nelly thinking it was different kind Of
goat: How at last he got within speaking
distance ofthe dear little pet, and how, be.
cause he coild not shake hands with it. he
thought he would stroke its goatee! The
lecturer rccited with pathos that kept his
audience IN a constant drizzle the touch.
ing poem. "Crusoe had little goat one |
stanza Of which describing the effects of
Cru>oe's caresses, chiefly remember:
"When Crusoe s:roked the little goat,
Now this is what befel:
Billy acted like anv other goat
Fer he !,rked likc-anvtl,ing." !
Crusoe taken on sudden and an empty
stomach. had an irresistible impulse to fall !
down several times in rapid succession. |
Robinson resained his feet, also the goats |
:iorns For several moments he re>em.
bled a scared cyclcne. At last his head |
struck flint. and the goat thinking him i!
dead rambled Off after dried moss. When
Crusoe recovered his consciousness and |!
one OF his saspenders. lie swors big oath
against goats Their lie wept bitterly, no.
because he had lost his dignity ard most of
his buttons. not because he had been great.
~ imposed upon by the horns Of irgrati.
tudc, that were "sharper ti.an scrpents
tooth but BECAUSE lie hat Vu"cyf.'
The orator then closed his speech, with
the following thrilling psrora,ion that
will be treasured in literature as long as
the English language endures: Romans
Gladiators Grecians. assert your independ.
ence. Is the old Spartan spirit dead