Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-12-05
SPEAKING OF FACES
INSPIRES OUR ARTIST TO PRESENT A FEW
FOR STUDY.
PhyaOgnomy For the Million-A Most Profound
Article On the Subjeet-ChrOmo-
Like Faces.


nomy? Ever experienced the pleasure
there is in watching the expression on an
other mans iace and letting your lmagln-
alton 90 out and ramble around among
his characteristics and dabble in the we'll
snr;nos Of his immortal soul? Have you
ever amused yourself by searching out
those little eccentricities Of your neigh
bor. the existence of which he Tor any one
else for that matter, has never dreamed?
If you have not, you're Just the man we
are looking for; you are Our meat, In the
fullest sense of that most Venerable ex-
preston. Come with us and we Will
show YOU wider field for investigation
and one offering more pleasure to the IN
yestigator than any you ever
struck before in all your life. We Will
show YOU way to make regular tea-store
chrome of your neigabor's character ana
man out his peculiarities with the minute
ness of your wife's dreSsmaker's bill.
For this purpose and for your benefit we
have prepared the work of art which orna-
ments the top of this column, after hours
of patient effort and the burning OF whole
cubic acres of midnight gas. And now,
gentle reader, come; sit down with us and
together let us unravel the faces and go
deem down into the characters which they
are supposed to cover. AS space
in the REGISTER is valuable, we can
only indicate the mode OF treatment
briefly but we hope to be able to show you
some of the delights which may be obtain
ed from the practice of Physiognomy.
No. This is a good face to start
with. Begin by noticing the substantial,
tbree-ply, all-wOOl look of this counte-
nance. He is evidently grasping monop-
olist who has saved up a few paltry mill
ions and is trying to live without spending
anv of it. But by the ''alas, alas, eX-
preston of the mouth we should judge
that he also has daughter and that she
has Just been asking papa" to get the
Sweetest sealskin sacque in the world. ~
Notice his furrowed brow. This indicates
deep thought. 1t might indicate that a
fly had planted itself on his brow and
that he was trying to wrinkle" 1T
off if this wasn't a bad
season for flies. He therefore possesses a
calculating mind-and so we might go on
through the analysis of each feature, but
probably it would be better for the reader
to figure out the rest for himself.
No. 1.-The owner of this face is I'M
fortunately not a foreigner-indeed he has
often lamented the accident Of his birth
ON that account. His highest aspirations
are to be quite English y'knOw'
and his constant endeavOr Is
to proclaim this fact to the world. This
gentleman is evidently not a Knight OF
Labor and probably confines his attention
to intellectual emplOyments such as chew.
ing the top ola cellulOid cane, or remarkine
Jaw theah." From the appearance of his
collar we would conclude that his mother
is an unusually talented waSherwOman.
No. 3.-This face offers quite n contrast
to the previous study" Notice the alb
normal development of the moral and in,
tellectual regions of his thinker; this de.
notes colossal mind and ponderOus 40,
horsepower grasp of thought and combined
with the haggard. unappreciated look
which rests on his face, stamps him
undoubtedly Us being an editor.
No. 4-Represents type, mUro than
any particular individual. The express
sion denotes all the energy. push, devotion
to No. and dyspepsia which character
ICES the true American. This person could
doubtless support the administration, sell
| lightning rods or doctor cOrns Just as the
occasion called for, and do either or all
with equal fuency. In fact he seems ready
to turn his brain-don't understand us
to say handS-tO almost anything which
has prospect of on almighty s. in it.
No. 5.-SeemS to have been created eS-
pecially for the purpose Of supporting and
ministering to No. !. The hurrying years
in their swift and ceaseleSs flight have ca,
vOrted over that aged forehead until they
have polished it rs smooth rs one
of his own pumpkins leav'
ing only a few scattered hairs to tell of the
rich shining locks which once blOssomed
there. The owner of this face doubtless
resides in the rural districts and con.
fines his attention to the cultivation ofcOrn
and beans and other necessaries of OuI
boosted civilization.
No. 6-Reader, We'll have to give it up.
Suppose this face got in here by mistake.
Perhaps You can make something out of IT.
No. This is quite characteristic
comtenance, and for our part if we had
relations with its poSsesSOr we should pre-
fer that they be friendly. That nose is q
powerful one and from the expression OF
the rest of the face we would suppose that
the Subject" drank fresh blood for break
fast, every morning, regular.
No. 9.-ThiS nose is also powerful one
although not in the same line. 1t loudly
proclaims to the world that the man be
longing to the face is either n homeless
wanderer or a hopeless "bum," probably
a combination Of both. This person
doubtless has natural affinity for eggs
fruit, etc, which have been borrowed by
the light of the moon.
We hope that from the pointers givcr
above Won will soon he able to rummag'
around through your neighbours spirit anG
read him like primer.