Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1886-10-23
FaIIcrspes.


IE you wish to enjoy constitutional
liberty, don I wear a pull-back dress.
Blizzard Some men are so mighty
penurious that they keep everything
they get hold of--except the ten COM
mandments. NJ
ONE OF our most solemn Exchanges
says that occasionally the ocean steam
ere lose baker overheard because he
can't get used to the rolls Of the ship.
New York Morning Journal The
subjectlfDf aebate ihisIevening will be (:
Which has most benefited the Ameri-
can people-Italian opera or corned
beef and cabbage.
N. Y. Sun :-"Hello Brown! see
you and Miss Jones are not so intimate
as formerly" "No. She is nice
girl, but she affected me like an ague,''
How was that?" "She shook me-"
Tidbits :---Spriggs--How much older
is your sister than you, Johnny?
JOHNNY dunno. Maud uster be
25 years, then she was 20, and now she
amt only 18. ] guess we'll soon be
twins. a
Puck 1t is bad enough when q
young mans sister takes his night hal
when going for a horseback ride, but
when she calmly appropriates his base
ball mask for a hustle, she trifes with
brothers. love.
| Mosr men love little women and lit
tie women love most men. The Little
woman is the most mighty being or
earth, and the way she can twist a bis
six-foot man around her finger is /
greater wonder than anything else the
sun shines on.
Tidbits :-"Do you know that NigsteI
is SO weak that he can't stand alone?,
asked the Judge. Mercy, no?" repli
ed the Major. "What Is the matte
with him?" "Why, asked him if h'
could stand loan OF five dollars, and h
said he couldn't. t
| Pittsburg Post :--"Laura," said Mrs
Parvenu, on the hotel piazza, 10 he
daughter, Laura, go and ask the lead
ers of them orchestras to play that
sympathy from Middlejohn' over again
It's such an awful favorite of mine, an,
your fathers, tool" a aa
Pittsburg Chronicle "a Galvesto
Tex school-teacher had a great deal {
trouble making a boy understand hi
, lesson. Finally, however, he succeed
ed, and drawing long breath remark
ed "If it wasn't for me you would b
the biggest donkey on Galveston Il
landp
N. Y. Independent A Frenhma
, learning the English language con
planned OF the irregularity OF the yer
Ito CO." the present tense of whic
some wag had written out for him {
follows: "I go, thou startest, he d,
, parts; we lay tracks, you cut stick
) they absquatulate or skedaddle."
DURING a discussion of religion
, topics young Brown said: ~ tell yc
7 that, if the other animals do not exi
9 after death, neither will man. Thel
: is no difference between man and
: beast" And good old Jones mild
I replied: IF anybody could convin,
: me Of that, it would be you, Brown,
GRANDMA: "Clara, do you thin
!. your mother would approve OF yol
r sitting up SO late?" Clara: "Wh
: grandma, it was only half past ten wht
: Frank left last evening"" Grandm
: "Clara, your grandma happened TO
y awake just as Frank was leaving, al
: didn't she hear him say, Now, Clar
y just one, and didn't the clock stril
s immediately"
Harper's Weekly Parting love
: are sentimental, but Massachuset
girl, ON bidding goodbye to her fame
capped the climax by directing his {
tention to the Great Dipper in the sta
:. ry armament. "You see the secol
! star in the handle of the dipper, dor
your" "Yes." "And you see tn
! faint little star close to the second stai
! Eyes, my dear" "Well, darlin
= that's me-"