The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-03-18

Smith, have such a contempt for one another
that they will not fight.
+.-
What great many married men forget is
that love is bigger thing than a broken but
ton, or bursted thread.
Mike Holland, of Cincinnati, drunk, fell dead
in doggery. Oughtn't have done it, Might
give the place bad name.
When Col. Turley saw his portrait in the
Cincinnati Post he was sorry the Rebels hadn't
killed him at Lynchburg.
The Delaware Signal, the Prohibition paper,
died. Cold water was too thin substance for a
printing office, it seemed.
Sad song of the Boodlers-"We1l all drink
blind drunk when Johnny comes marching
home" But he cometh not.
"a*
Republicans will hereafter have to vote for
Investigation" Just as old "Reform" used to
be voted for by the Democrats.
The obelisk in Central Park, N. Y, will
crumble to pieces in thirty-five years. If you
want to see it, you must hurry up.
The Cars friends gave him a boom. on last
Wednesday, his 41st birthday. The Nihilists
wanted to give him a boom, too.
s<+
Ex-Gov. Hoadly told New York reporter
that he "win not be candidate for Governor
again." Well, we should think not.
-.
Thurman said "there's All end of the Demo-
cratic party in Ohio" or course. That party
has been showing its end for some time.
There is cloud upon our relations with En-
gland. War may break out at any time. An
Englishman hissei Joseph Cook, in Boston.
1t is an easy thing for man to promise to
love his wife still death.' But it don't take
him long to love somebody else afterwards.
A Western minister became SO solemn that
he spoke in a whisper too low to be heard. He
was more impressive than at any other point.
-
The Future of Kansas has already arrived.
We have seen it. 1t is small, neat paper Of
predictions" published at Richland, Kansas.
The old lady had been reading of the Cincin-
natl gang, and tried to quote old saying.
"Ah," said she, "politics make strange bed
bugs!'
when shall I plant my crops this year p
wrote a Kansas farmer to a "weather-prophet."
ply.
When you accuse man of dishonesty, don't
give the form of reasoning upon which you
build. 1t might stroy the effect of the accusa-
ton.
Cincinnati man died last week from "sun-
stroke" There is also report that several
men all polit.cians-weres struck by lightning
there recently.
DIR. Leonard made speech to the locked out
workingmen of Springfield, denouncing the
employers. The DR.. knows what it is to be
shut out.
Gallipolis capitalists have been sending speci-
mems of the West Virginia tin-ore away to have
it tested. The learned scientists decided that it
was dirt.
"Prof. Porter, of Yale College is revising the
Dictionary" What the college graduate needs,
Prof, is not a new language, but brains enough
to understand the old.
Edmunds ''scored Cleveland in the Senate,
then joked with him in the White House.
How could he help it? Cleveland's very pres
ence there was joke.
Tfnin, Ohio, to Florida. What could be more
appropriate than taking a bigamist to the land
of Orange Blossoms?
In Indiana man s family wanted him to fur
nish them with woodruff he "wood' not.
When his neighbors took him out and switched
him, he concluded he wood
The Democratic election -scoundrels in Gin
ciunati were like the thief who tramped all
around the scene of his crime, so that he
couldn't be tracked in the snow.
A female school-teacher in Pennsylvania
opens her school with a mock church revival
meeting. That girl is on the road to that place
the old-fashioned preachers howl about.
The statement that the Ohio Penitentiary is
full is, in the light of recent events in this
State, startling one. The only hope seems to
be-to build another Penitentiary.
The Kentucky Legislature adjourned, and
wanted Mary Anderson to come and see that
body. Mary is receiving many honors in Ken
lucky, with the Penitentiary to hear from yet.
"Why, when 1 was boy, I studied every
night by the firelight!" said a conceited father
to a lazy boy.
$50 did the cat, but she never amounted to
much," was the reply.
Democracy in Cincinnati may be compared
to a game of "Polo," as it has required several
very able "goal-tenders to keep the Democrats
out of the Penitentiary.
The enthusiasts who ran the Chinese out OF
Oregon seem to have had the foresight to rot
them of their money, first. That's it! We
can't have the heather carrying off our money
A Wisconsin farmer, digging well on Sun
day, not only broke the Sabbath, but broke
through the bottom of the well. He was rap.
idly going downward when they caught him
They go that way who work on Sunday.
Over in Kentucky they are trying q Unior
soldier for killing Rebel in fight, during thu
war. New let the South Carolinians have Sher
man indicted for malicious destruction of prop
erty.
| Col. Hawkins is said to have threatened tina
| there will be two thousand armed Democrat
at the polls in Cincinnati at the next election
| There will be more need of soap and force
pump, than of firearms, among that noble tw
| thousand.
"Tildeu and Reform" used to be the Demo
cratic cry. Tilden still abides, but Reform
| gone. There hasn't been a rascal turned out
and won't be, until the next Republican &C
| ministration comes in.