The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-06-12
Lodge Secrets.
TWO LADIES DISCUSS THE QUESTION.

Mrs. Yerger.-'You have no idea how
much trouble | have with my old man.
l didn't think it was possible for him to
get any sillier than he was already, but
was mistaken.
'What is he up to nowf
He is always up to some new foolish
ness. He is just running the lodge
business into the ground. would like
to know all that goes on in these lodge
rooms
Il would too. Judge Peterby comes
home every night about one O'Clock,
smelling of whiskey or beer, and when
| ask him what sort of smell it is, he
has the impudence to tell me it is in
cense which they use in their mystic
ceremonies
Ive noticed the same smell about
Col. Yerger. He, too, said it was in
cense, and the effect it had upon me
proved it was incense, because l was in
censed as soon as smelt it. We poor
women never find out any lodge secrets,
for even if a man is ever so talkative,
when he comes home from the lodge he
is not in a condition to talk. / don't
know what Col. Yerger has been doingto
deserve it, but they have made him
Grand Sachem.'
what in the world is that2'
Il don't know. That's some new
order he has joined. He already be-
longs to the order of the Yelled Night
caps, and the order of Idiotic Red
Muffs, and three or four Ku- Klux gangs
How did you find out that he is a
Grand Sachem2 Does he talk in his
sleep2'
No. Day before yesterday was his
birthday. Just as we were getting up
from the supper-table there came two
knocks at the door, and deep, grave
like voice said, is the Grand Sachem
in his wigwam7' Col. Yerger opened
the door, and there was Gus de Smith,
Kosciusko Murphy, Nose Schaumberg,
Gilhooly Hostetter McGinnis, old Judge
Pennybunker and lot of those repro
bates. They came into the room in
Indian file and said: is our red sister
well2' Just think of it'll
I'D have scalped them with the fire
shovel, said Mrs. Peterby.
'rhen Gilhooly struck an attitude and
said: Most noble Grand Sachem, this
is thy birthday, and thy red brethren,
the noble red braves now present in
this wigwam, in consequence of the high
esteem they have for their noble brother,
and his great services to the lodge, do
hereby present thee, noble savage, with
this gold-headed walking cane. Lean
on it, most worthy son of the forest, on
thy stroll in the direction of the happy
hunting grounds behind the setting
sum-
do you allow such proceedings in
your house, Mrs. Yergerl Why, would
have scalded them. I'd have extermi-
mated them.
L couldn't help it. Col. Yerger was
very much moved. He said it was the
happiest moment of his life, but that his
heart was too full tor utterance, and
turning to me he had the impudence to
say, nanulng me quarter: Hele, noble
squaw, take this string of wampum, go
to the corner grocery with the tin
growler ,Sand bring some beer, that 1
may make merry with my red brethren
of the forest. Be seated, braves.
Il would have mopped the floor with
him.
'And for week afterwards he put on
lots of airs. When / wanted him to
walk up and down with the baby he said
it was not the business of warrior to
carry the papoose around. For whole
week, Mrs. Peterby, that wretched man
talked dime novel 20 me, until l threat
ened to invite mother to come and stay
with US. That took the nonsense out
of the Grand Sachem.'
'What silly fools these men are
'Well, amt they7'