New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1886-04-07
AN AGRIcuLTuRALIST.
A Professor Whose Oats Took Their
Own Time in Sproutfng

a Professor Whose Oats Took Their
Own Time in sprouttng.
Prof. j. Cudigo Philemsbury, after
having spent the best years of his life
in editing an agricultural journal, de-
cided upon buying farm and settling
down to put into practical shape the
many ideas which he had expressed
through his paper. The professor was
delighted when he shifted the free air of
the country, and, as he stood around
'.bossing'' the plow hands, he wonder
ed why he had been content to sit in a
dingy room.
One day the professor sent the fol-
lowing order to a grain dealer in town:
please send me fifty bushels of seed
oats, best quality"
The shipment was made. The pro-
lessor had been so imperious with his
hired men that neither of them would
offer him any advice, in fact, he had
told them that when he wanted a sug-
gestion he would ask for it.
The shipment of oats came. The pro-
lessor had asked for the best quality and
was highly satisfied with the result.
The land was prepared with great care
and the oats were sowed and narrowed
in, then rolled and then narrowed
again. Every day or two the professor
would 60 out and make an examination
to see if the oats had sprouted. He be-
came impatient, for oats in neighboring
fields had come up.
One day while Colonel Subberly, a
well-known planter, was visiting the
professor, the great agriculturalist ask
ed:
Colonel, are your oats up yet:?''
'Oh, yes; the field is green
81 don't know what's the matter with
mine. | soWed them three weeks ago,
but they haven't sprouted yet. Wish
you'd come out and make an examina-
tom
They went to the field and began to
scratch around.
"See, they haven't sprouted," said
the professor.
81 don't see any oats,' the colonel
replied.
'.Here's one, Colonel
''Oh, no; that's sawdust. The ground
is thick with it, -
''Sawdust!'' gasped the professor.
'Of course
is it possible that have sowed saw
dust?''
'.It seems that you have The colo
mel laughed. The professors face grew
red. He called his foreman whom he
saw standing short distance away
'Confound it, Jackson!" he exclaim-
ed, "didn't you know we were sowing
sawdust instead of oats?''
ayes, sir.''
''Well, why in thunder didn't you tell
me?"
Because, sir, you told me that you
wanted no suggestions-said that you
had been editor Of the Farmers Sciemti-
fc and Practical Cultiuator so long
that you knew what you were doing, so
we all thought that we'd let you GO
"He's got it on you, professor said
the colonel
CHATS all right said the great
agrculturalist, ''but if there's any law
in this country I'll make that merchant
smoke
He hurried to town and called on the
merchant, restrained his angr as we'll as
he could, and said:
Have you got an order that sent
you some time ago?''
Eyes, sir, / think so.''
'Let me see it,
The order was produced. The pro-
fessor looked at it several minutes. He
prided himself on his bad writing, and
it was some time before he could read
it.
'.What does this order say-what are
these words?' the professor asked.
@Sawdust," replied the merchant.
sSawdust the deuce. Anybody can
see that they are seed OATS
leave it to anybody in town.
''All right
They called in printer who had
worked in the professor office.
''Read this ORDER said the profess
sor.
The printer took the order. ':It is as
plain to me as print said he. Then he
read: :" Please send me fifty bushels of
sawdust-best quality Oh, its plain
enough. -
The merchant roared. The professor
said: "Do any of you know who wants
to buy an excellent farm? 1 have one
that | desire 10 sell. am tired of farm
inc I shall retl1rn to tho editorial