The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1886-10-17
FUN

How drowning man feels-wet.
A flank ment-Pa with Q strap.
The woman question: Is she pretty"
A bad place to get out at-The elbows.
Books are bound in calf, book agents in
elephant.
Why is kiss like sewing machine?
Because it seams (seams) so geed.
According to health journal, marble
top tables are unhealthy. Probably
troubled with chill.-rPuck.
The henpscksd husband cannet under
stand why anybody should shout for
"homs rule"
Sam Jenes says: There is something
wrong when q preacher gets $400 and q
pitcher SIS, 00O" But Sam should remember
that the fve-thousand- dollar pitcher has 8
much better delivery than the four-hundrsd
dollar preacher.
Bridget Ito iceman)-" Av ye PLACE, sir,
me missus seq will yez put the ice in the
saucer here every mornin' and cover it wild
the tay cup. SO that we can have some left
if we don't get there the mint ye lave it.
s Are cigarettes iDjurious?' demands an
wiping cut the masher population we are
"Why, Mr. Harler, didn't know you
were bald-haadsa.. You're awful young to
be bald headed, said Mrs. Elite. sob,
/ dunno. I've got q sen not over two
weeks old who is bald-headed."
She (after private theatrical entertain
mont 80 How cleverly the parts of Romeo
and juliet were played, Mr.. Smith" He
=" Very almost equal to professional
NOV l. kk.k
gentleman and lady whe played the parts
are husband and wife?" He You
astonish me Husband and wife? Why
it was wonderful acting. II Life.
1t is stated that Henry Clay never was at
that Henry never jammed his thumb in a
door. New Haven News.
Youth--a have come to ask you for the
hand of your daughter
Physician-s. You have?"
y" YES, sir. have enough of this
worlds goods to support her in comfort,
even in Injury"
P.-.. Yes, am aware of that but will
you treat her kindly? viii you be gentle
husband ?"
Y.-"Sir, VOW"
P.-"Oh, never mind vouing Your in
tsntiens are all right, no doubt; but I
must be sure that you Won't worry and
fret the life out of her after you get her.
Take off your csat and let me sound you
ts see what kind OF a liver you've got. -
It'd Bits.
:" Does the preacher pray when he comes
to your house ?" asked little 5-year-old
First ward girl Of a companion.
''Oh. no, never" was the quick answer.
''Why doesn't he? He always dees
when he comes to our house." continued
the first. land tells mamma it's been q
season Of rest fer him. What does he do
when he comes to your house 2"
"Oh.'' replied the young miss. with
sigh, The generally stays to dinner"
A young man, during his Counting
days, was very bashful. One day he was
invited to attend a tea party at the house
OF pious uncle of his sweetheart, and
when asked to the table, the good hostess
requested him to ask blessing, which SO
''broks up" the already bewildered young
man, that he unconsciously stammered
out: II don't care for any, thank you"
s.Thcre's something inexplicable about
the mental make-ap of woman" replied
Fogg to female acquaintance. "There's
that Mrs. Smith, for example. She's ut
terly unable to handle horse, and yet she
drives her husband around as though he
were baby"
"Ah, but you forget" replied the lady;
'the horse, you know, is very intelligent
animal.-[Boston Transcript.
Ne