davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
NEWSPAPER HUMORISTS.
MEN WHO HELP THE PUBLIC
LAUGH AND GROW FAT

Interesting Sketches of Bill Nye, Mark
Twain, Pat DOMAIN and George W. Peck,
with Passing Mention Of Many Other
Eccentric Writers.
ea1
NEW YORK, March 5.-Newspaper
readers everywhere are quite well ac-
qnainted with the drOll, witty, philosoph-
ical, sometimes Tordly-wise and some
times ludIcrous sketches and s'yarns''
written by the galaxy of humorists mem
toned below. Few, however, know any
thing Of the lives or personal characters
tics OF these writer's who have done so
much to amuse and entertain them, and
whose contributions, Sin lighter yein,"
have been printed in newspapers great
and small all over the land. The news
paper humorist has his mission; and it is
not bad one. Not one of them ever
wrote anything for which the world was
the worse for reading, while the smiles,
the hearty laughs, and the pleasant hui
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

familiar in every household. For twenty
years or more the letters of Nasby--D. r.
Locke, of the Toledo Btdde-have been
read everywhere, until hundreds Of peO-
pie sympathize with the troubles of the
exists. Among the funny writer's whose
wit and philosophy we no longer read in
the newspapers Of the day, are Stanley
Huntley, author Of the SpOopendyke pa
pers so universally published, Max
Adeler, John Phoenix and josh Billings"
One OF the funniest short sketches ever
written was John Phenix's "Mule Artll-
lery;" but the quaint philosophy of Josh
Billings-Henry w .Shaw-wbo died some
months ago, Will probably outlive most Of
the others.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

Knox, of Texas S(ftIRgs, is more or less
known as a humorous writer. He lives
in New York most OF the time. and though
he can tell blood-curdling stories Of per-
sonal exploits on the Western plains he
is not at all the frontiersman in manner
or appearance. He claims that he never
tells lie-0utside of business hours"
Eli Perkins, whose writings are not much
seen nowadays, once enjoyed the reputa-
ton of being the greatest liar on the Am
erican press. G. +. Lewis, of the Detroit
Free Press, is known extensively through
his sketches over the signature of NJ.
Quad. henry T. White, ''the horse re-
porter of the Chicago Tribune, and
author of some unique verses at
tributed to Samuel j.. Tilden and Murat
Halstead, has amused large circle OF
readers. Petroleum V. Nasty Is a name
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

From beds Of flowers 10 the breath that
has been rendered agreeably Odorous with
sOZODONT. which communicates 10 the
teeth a marble Wilderness and 10 the gums
a roseate TINT. Use Il, and beautify your
Omuth.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

CTR AYED, mouse-c lared mule, bind IN
- right eve from East Savannah, FEB. 20.
Liberal reward paid by leaving II at w A u
TER MAYLAR's, corner East Broad and
President
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
Tor SAFE.


NOR SALE, Is frst-class Mules, suitable for
II lumbermen, rice planters and turpentine
men, on reasonable terms. n. MORAN.
EOR SALE, one buggy horse and harness,
II at auction on Monday. q. II. DOhsETI.
EOR SALE, one tame deer ldoe.J Apply to
II A. X. FAWCET1'. Market Square.
NOR SALE. tho residence No. lb1 Castor
IL street second door west Of Whitaker);
very elegantiy arranged and finished inside.
Apply az the reGidence, or 70 GEO. w,
LAM Il, Real Estate Broker.
UNOR SALE, one hundred and nfty acres OF
IT good farming land. and n number Of deel-
rabls building lgte In Oliver, ~ Central hail-
road. For particulars address A. l.. LAklhR,
nj len, Ca.
TOR SALE.-A fne mare pony, warranted
II sound. will he anld cheap Apply at
GANAHL A. LUFBURROW'S Wood Yard,
West Broad and ll4rris streets
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
phntnnraphu.


XElANTED--A WORD WITH THE PUB-
w LIC-The NEW INSTANTANEOUS
PROGRESS as praoticed by me has Fevoiu-
tOnized the Photographic business ana
the day has passed when sensible people
viii give from Five to Ten Dollars for
dozen Cabinet Photographs, when they can
get The finest work ever produced in TINS
city, put on fine beveled gilt-edged cards,
Two Dollars and Fifty cente for SIX, or
Three Dollars and Fifty cents for twelve,
81 81 Bull street, opposite the Screven House.
All work guaranteed hrst-olass In every par :
touar. And WISH it distinctly unders God
that | have ia my employ the finest retoucn
ers ana hnishers that have ever prAotlced IN
this city. j. N. WILSON. Photographer.
w ANTED, fifty young ladies this week to
w make sittings nc ii ERMES Photograph
Gallery, at reduced rates, by the lightning
process. III Congress street, opposite the
Market.
WILLIAM ERNEST WILSON, Land
w scape photographer, has removed to A.
L. Lanney's Gallery, 1895 Congress street,
near Whitaker.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
Eooi amO Eonn0.

L OST. In the ladies' dressing room of the
II GuaFds' Arsenal at the rurim ball, pair
OF q q ButtOns In pair Of cum. with the
initial IS" The finder will be rewarded BY
leaving ssme At u WHITAKER street.
MOUND. q COW. red aud white. with right
~ ear siit AID LETT ear hollow; red spot on
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

ITO SAW MILL MEN.--An q gineer and
l. machInist of several years experience
wants situation either as engineer, machinist
or wO0dsman, or TO perform the duties OF each
in general way. Address ENGINEER, p. o.
Box 3 z, Savannah, Ga, ~ So ltsh
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
@ntpIapmrnt lt1aitErn.

w ANTED. situation by first-cls ass pastry
w cook and cOnfectioner; can give the best
Of references. Address PASTRY COOK,
News office.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
BoarDima

WANTED, boarders; permanent, AM anu
w transient. ls4 McD0nOugh street, cor
ner jefferson.
EURNISHED ROOMS. with or without
4 board at so BroughtOn street.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

CNHBAPEST VARIETY sTORE.-Picture
~ Frames, Picture Frames, Picture Frames.
80 telling where You can get bargains until
Sohy0mpars prices; by 10 Gilt Frames z5c.,
lADrh double: we will keep up eur reputa-
9fyh ef0r Frames and intend 70 say so. Ma
&1sAN BROS, 1SG Congress street and lSi SO.
Aniian street, near jefferson.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

DOILER and Sheet Iron WORT OF all kinds
ID done at LOMBARD IRON WORKS. Au-
Qiigta Ga
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

NOR SALE, one buggy horse and harness,
I at AnntiOn on Monday. Y. n. DOhsElI.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

EGGS FOR HATCHIHG; pure breed; high
Il class Pts mouth Rocks. 81 for 10; So so for
rs. Send for circular. W. e. MYERS, Ma
rietta, Ga.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
Rooms 10 Rrnt.


EN0R RENT, two or three rooms, furnished
Il or upfurnished, with use OF bath, corner
Of Price and Jones sweets, convenient 10 s.,
f. & W. Ry!s
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07


best knowledge and belief
GADsDEN, Cashier.
a.. ia
Correct
HJ ggTTII2MARTlN, Directors
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

DESF WINTER CLIMATE IN THU
ID SOUTH.-Southcrn pines. highest aud
driest point in Long Leaf Pine Section OF
United States; building lots free 10 those who
build; better and nearer than Florida; no
malaria; only SIS 40 round trip from New
York 90 lot ogners. Address COMMISSIONS
ER IMMIGRATION. Raleigh. n. q.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

NOR RENT, gentlemen's neatly furnished
IT rooms; housekeeping; furnished or I'M
furnished. 19l Broughton street.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07
atliereA lalsEallta IRlamta.

WANIEp. immediately, small amount 81
w nancy on personal property; the besd
Of city refeERRce given, Address TIE ACHER,
News Office. aafrfff 7-o g. .r.. h-'- 3.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

DOR RENT, one very large and comfortably
i furnished room; location very desirable
Address w. F., care of Morning News onice
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

before
prs OF
Lloyd
|ersOn
he
| tries.
|oset,
|; size
aboVe
built.
any
auC-
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-07

'OR SALE, one tame deer (dOe.j Apply To
A. n. FAWCETT. MARKET SQUARE.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
Cultured.

Any one who has known what it is to have dealings with the un' lettered school committee will appreciate the following:
 "Give a sentence in grammar, said d committeeman to an apph- cant for a Western county school.
 He sits down."
 "Taint right. It should be, He sets down"
 That haint right. nuther,' said the second committeeman. Its He's set daWn.r
 "Gentlemen, you air all wrong" Solemnly observed the third com mittee-man, inhating his chest uu- til he assembled a pouter-pigeon.
 There was an eXpectant silence when the latter proceeded
 Its He has sot down.'
 The council looked dOubttni. but, he added with confidence and emphasls:
 You'll need ter be mighty spry cf ye pass my catekism."
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
Ten Years Witoout Shoeing.

My horses have been barefoot ten years, summer and winter, and they do as much as thousands of others that are kept shod if their lives depend on il. Thus l cut off the expense of shoeing and the eX- pense of injury from ill.ftted work. However sharp your calks a Snowball held by the shoe often raises them off the ice or you find they are "a little dull" when sprawlmg. A horse used to calks strikes out forcibly if he slips to make them h0ld-and slips all the worse if they fail to do it; one who knows he is barefoot keeps his feet ilat on the ice, takes short steps aui will get safely across almost any slippery place if he does not not draw too hard. There are generally a few Jays every winter, however, when going barefoot is rather lively on the whole, but it the unshod horse wants shoes for the ice he ought 10 have them pulled off when he comes to deep snow pr miry ground at any season.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
Woman's Best Friend al all Times.

A hair. pin is woman $ best friend. It fills a multiplicity ot uses and she Is never without one. If her hair is short you can depend upon it in recess of her purse or pocket ofher reticule you will find the hairpin. If she but tons her shoes she uses her halr- pm, and who ever saw a woman button her glove with anything else! liner head itcheS does she scratch it with her finger! Non sense! She whips out hair-pin and relieves herself. Suppose a nickle has dropped between the bars of of the wooded foot grate i'll the street car. Does she soil her fingers as a man would, and then not get itl Certainly not. Out comes the hair pin, and the coin IS IlllcU CuI WllupHl lloubit' IT "'i shawl pin is lost where is SD good substitute as the hair. pin. If she eats nut she does not take a nut pick! Most asSuredly not. The hair.pin again, IL is with the hair pin that she rips open the uncut leaves Ct a book or magazine; ii iS hair.pin with which she marks her progress in her favoritr book; if turn key is missing | hair-pin opens the refractory lock as neat ly as a burglars skeleton key would with it she cleans her finger.nails, and it is clean. even picks her teeth. And the feats of hair-se- curing that she will mako a simple bow.legged hair.pin accomplish nearly surpasses the belief of a man. Although it deserves to be classed among the great inventions of the world, and the grave of the original man who created the first one could have no prouder epithap than this: "This is the kind of a hair pin he was "-EX.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
Questions in Agriculture.

The Farmers Friend gives the following question to it's readers for solution. They will require considerable study:
 1. WhA: is meant by "plant food@
 ?. How do plants feed?
 8. How does the "breathing of plants" affect the healthiness ofthe air!
 I. What three important ingre- dients of the plant are derived from the soil!
 ,. How can farmers increase the supply of nitrogen?
 6. In what way is nitrogen ex- ported from the farm!
 :. Phosphoric acid is another ingredient of plant food. How can it be iucreaseda
 S. Why Is new land" more pro- ductive generally than the land which has been farmed for a long time?
 9. Is our soil naturally poorer than the soil of England? 10. Ifnot, why is it that they produce a greater yield to the acre than we do! II. If by good farming we can make one acre pro duce as much two now produce, have we not done much to make farming pay!
 12. Should not farmers be hard studentc as well as hard workers?
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
BLOOD AND MONEY.

The blood ofa man has much to do iu shaping hi, actions during his pilgrimage through this troublesome world, regardless of the amount of present or eApectant money in pocket or stored away in butk. It is a conceded fact that we appear IS our blood makes us, and the purcr the blood, the hap r,er. haalther, pretticr and wiser we are; hence the oft repeated iaterrogatory. chow is your blood.' Wi.h pure streams If Hte- giving fluid coursing through our vein, bounding through our hearts and liougling through our physicinl frames, our morals be- conc better, our constitution >tongcr, our intellectual faculties more acute and gander and men, womcn and children happier, heal- their and more lovely.
 The unprecedented deuaud, tila uupataii- elcd curative powers, and the uniuLta taFubIc proof from those of unimpcachabe chaue - ter and integrity. point with an uuewing iH- ger to E. B. B.-Botouac Blood Bam-us far the best. the cheapest, the quickest and thc grandest and most powerful blood remedy ever before known to mortal man, in the rc- lict and positive cure of Scrotua. Rhcunn- tism, Skin discusses. all taints of blood poisol Kidney complaints. old ulcer and sores, can ccrs. catarrh, etc
 E. B. B. is only th;cc years old--a ba by in age, q giantiB FoWcr-but no remedy in America showing in ias magial powers in curing and entirely cradicutiug ihe above compliments, and gigantic sales in the fare Of truizled opposition and would-bc moneyed monopolists.
 Letters fram all point, where introduced are pouring in upon u', speaking in its loud est praise. some say they receive more bcn- eft from one bottle of B. B. E. than they have from twenty, thirty and nifty and even d hundred bottles of boa-tod dscoction of inert and non-mcdciual roots and hrauche, of common forest trees. We holdthc 'proo. in black and white, and we also hold the fort
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
Helping Others.

"Many years ago." said the old clergyman, "I was at a commence ment of one of the many small col leges in the interior of the country which train the sons of our trades men and farmers into men, and train them well. Among the young men who were graduated was one who took the highest honors, the valedictory, prizes, and the presidency of his class, But he received only a feeble round of applause when he rose.
 "What is wrong?" I asked one of the faculty,
 "C--- is a selfish fellow. All for himself. He will succeed in life, but his success will benefit nobody but C."
 "Presently another lad stepped forward to speak. His place was not high one; but from his fellow students and the town people came a thunder ofapplause, which was no scorer than it began again and again, while the grave professors looked on smiling,
 "What does this meanw 1 asked.
 "Oh, that is Van--W
 "A jolly, popular fellow, fond of fun, everybody's chumW I ven tured.
 "No, not that. But Van is the only man ever knew whose idea of college is that it is a place for mutual help. He is not exception ally bright, but he has hard com mon sense, great warmth of heart, and unfailing tact. You would not credit me if l should tell you of the men he helped during his course, the dull fellows whom he has coaxed, the idle ones, that he has kept out of temptation Oh, Van, for some reason, is like nobody elsew
 "I kept watch on Van after he l left college for many years. He never became a wealthy, fashiona- 1 ble, or powerful man, but he was the most helpful human being ] ever knew. Not because he was i kinder or more sympathetic than many others. The difference was his motive in living.
 "We all talk of the "battle ot life.o It is struggle in which we go down armed and equipped to contend with our fellows. No matter how friendly the competi- ton, it is competition. If we go up. others must give place to us and go down.
 "Nan's idea of the world was that which he had of college. It was a place in which we sould "help each other" This moving idea gave an utter lack of self-con- sciousness to him, and d singular, powerful charm to him, No man, without great talent, ever possess ed such wide and deep influence He died last summCr-went into some other life to help his fellows y
 Is the popular idea of life right! Was not Vans better idca'
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
What Does it Mean?

The last weeks issue of the Wheel. Enterprise, under an article headed ''What does it meanY' takes the Democratic and Repub- lican parties to task for fusing with a view to beating the Wheel can didates. What does it mean in deed, when farmers and mechanics organize themselves into secret political societies, taking the rains of government from the hands of the competent and intelligent and placing them in the hands of class who have for their avowed pur- purpose class legislation in the strict sense of term Did it ever -ocenr to the editor of the Wheel Enterprise that secret pollucal or ganization is contrary to every principle of free government? that in such organizations the principals of anarchism are inculcated in the minds of the ignorant, who seem to grasp but the one idea that capital is trying to crush them out of exis- tence and that in order to get their rights there must be secret political conniving, then blood shed' We do not say that such principles are openly advocated in the Wheel, but that this is the ten dency of all secret political socie- ties, therefore is it any wonder that intelligent citizens regard all such societies with mistrust? Is 1t any wonder, under the existing cir cumstances. that men come to the polls in this township i've are hap py to say say they are not subscrl- bers to the Advancel, who say that the hard times are occasloned by too many railroads, churches and school houses, and that times were a great deal better when he had to ride fifty miles to market and when they dld not have any school hods' es and only an occasional church. He voted the Wheel Ticket, he said. because the candidates on that ticket had promised to do all in their power to keep any more railroads from entering the State, and as for as he was concerned he wanted those that are here taken out. Is it wonder that intelligent citizens. who are denied member ship in the Wheel by reason o1 their occupation, should endeaNol to frustate the designs of any se' cr9t political society by combining their forcesg The workingmen oi the country hold the balance ot power and it is not necessary tol them to organize in secret politi cal concave to accomplish theil objects. Let them organize a new party if they will, but letit be open and above board; free to all whc may wish to join it.--Judisonia Advance.
 ---r--p~---~--s.-~-.-~s@-s-~n
 uua.,,t. paes Er;apd oS all Tiiooac
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
BLOOD BALM CO,

For suie by If, Moncricf v Bro; j. O. Howell, Cor Main and Front Sts.; Milner X Miburn, Prescott, Ark.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22

An who desire full iutarmation about ,hc cause and cure of Biood pusoa~, Scrotulo and Scrofulous Swelings Clcpr-, Sores. Rheumatism, Kidney C9mp1'a'~, 'utarrh etc., can secure by mail, irct, a copy of our 32-pagc Illustrated Book of Wonders, filled with the most wonderful aud stutlng proof ever before known.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
\ Certain Cure for Catarrh!
 A SUPERB
 FLESH PRODUCER AND TONIC, C.;,n.s Dipunnr KIanI iSpuaWpr

Cures all Blood and Skin Diseases. Rheuma- tism. Scrofuln, old Sores. \ perfect Sprng Medicine. Ifnot in your market it will be forwarded on receipt of price. Small bottles 9LOo large &l.75. Essay on Blood and Skin D,seo-e- mailed free
 MACON MEDICINE COMPANY
 [.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
AGRICULTURAL.
Horse T ak.

If you whip horse for shying you are making the habit worse.
 Never drive a horse fast on full stomach. Hurry by going slow the first few miles.
 A pail of water at a time is all a horse should have. In an hour 1t may have more.
 The best hy.net for farm horses is not net but white cotton sheet strapped on over the harness.
 If possible shorten the hours by longer rest in tlle noon heat, and unharness the horses that they may take their dinner in comfort.
 Maud S., "the queen ofthe turf" is in training in Murphy's hands, and promises to do some very fast miles as soon as the fat is worked off of her.
 MaXey Cobb, the champion trot- ting stallion of the world, died the other day at Philadelphia. He had record of 2:13 1-2, never equallcd by any other stallion, and his owner had recently refuse1 ] S4O,0O0 for the animal.
 Good blood is appreciated more and more every year by those who buy horses for city purposes. The farmer who has the best bred ami mals to sell generally fares the best. The breeding season IS the time to think of this.
 If you have a good farm horse keep him. The difficulties in the way of securing a good horse can not be realized until the animal is really required and attempts are made at purchasing, But few horses are exempt from defects of some kind.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22

To prevent blue calico from fad. ing pour one ounce of sugar of lead into a pail of water, soak the mate rial in the solution for two hours, and let dry before being washed and ironed. This is good for all shades of blue. Boston Globe.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22

To tell good eggs, pnt them in water: 1.-the large end turns up they are not fresh. This is an infalible rule to distinguish d good egg from d bad one. The Household,
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22

Brown Bread: Two cups of gra. ham flour, one cup of wheat four, one pinch of salt, to cups Of sour or butter milk, one and one-halt tea-Spoonsful of soda or saleratuS, Bake in a moderate oven for half an hour, Sweeteu with sugar or molasses. if liked The Caterer
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22
Kissing The Wrong Corpse.

During the "troubles' young Confederate miss waSs passing through one of the hospitals, when it was remarked that a prisoner d lieutenant, had died that morning. "Oh, where is he? Let me kiss him for his motherW exclaimed the maiden. The attendant led her to the adjoining ward, when discover Ing lieutenant H---, of the Fifth Arkansas, lying fast asleep in his hospital couch and thinking to have a little fun, he pointed him out to the girl. She sprang for ware and bending over him, said: "Oh, you dear lieutenant, let me kiss you for your mothern' what was her surprise, when the awak- ened "corpse' ardently clasped her in ms arms. retarned the sa- lutc, and then exclaimed: "NeYer mind the old lady, miss; go it on your own accout, haven't the slightest objection, on the contra ", should like it repeated by every pretty girl ir the Confederacy." Oh, who wnuldn't be a soldier.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22

'-- Itis told in St Paul that the children in Minneapolis, it's near by and hated rival, have refused to read the Bible in the public schools because it is filled full of talk about St Paul." while from Gen. esis to Revelation there is no men ton made of Minneapolis.
Nevada County picayune., 1886-09-22

Woman's greatest glory is in her hair, and she should be very economical of it when she is cook. ing.
The Daily Tombstone., 1886-11-27

Mrs. Head has been appoiAisd agent for Connor's ranch butter which che receives fresh every satE day. Also fresh buHernilk On ha&d
 3-1T