davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
Tom Paine's Bones.

| see by the Herald of to-day that
your correspondent "Rosicrucian. re-
peats statement he made six or seven
wears ago to the effect that Goblet.
after taking the exhumed bones Of
Thomas Paine from America to Eng
land, left them in a warehouse at Liver
pool. land no one knows what became
Of them" The facts are that Goblet
took the bones to his own mousse in
Farnham, where they remained stow
ed away till after Cobbet's death in
1885. when his estate, real and person.
al, went under the hammer. At the
sale the box was brought out into the
upper ball Of the house. no one knowing
the contents of the package. On open
ing il plate plainly told what was
packed underneath. The auctioncer
on reading the plate. uttered an excla-
nation of astonishmcnt at the dis
coYery. and then said II have never
sold human flesh. and never will sell
human bones. Whereupon the lid
was again nailed ON and the box re-
moved. Such is the account of the
affair MS read by the undersigned now
over fifty wears ago. Doubtless there
are those living Of Cobbet's grandchil-
dren, and perhaps other persons, who
know what 1T last was done with the
bones of the .author hero" of the Amer
lean revolution. Letter in Utica Her
aid
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
In the Rapids.

In recent issue of the Illustrated
London Nesos, Mr.. George Augustus
Sala gossips in his accustomed depart
ment of Echoes of the Week about
Cooper Graham and his barrel. Mr.
Sala moralizes cleyerly, rs ever, but his
distance is so great from the scene of
the barrel episode that the echoes
that reached him evidently got warped
little. "The cooper of Philadelphia, "
he writes. sis evidently skilled artisan
with a strong inventive faculty. Why
does he not invent something useful
say, machine for paying ones debts,
or keeping ones temper, or staving off
old age, and patent the instrument and
make a fortune by it But no; this in
consequent cooper is willing to risk his
life again Gf he can make any money
by i) by the performance of senseless,
useless feat of dare-deyildom. If the
foolhardy cooper tries TO shoot the
rapids second time, somebody whom
! know will bet long odds that Mr.. Gra-
ham will be suffocated in his tub, If he
be not sucked into the whirlpool and
dashed to atoms.n
All of which is very well. But the
AAiAOuo JOul 2OCo OIl 10 stories.
Here is the first one:
The last time was at Niagara Il
lady and her husband were living IN a
pretty villa on the American shore of
the Niagara river, just above the falls.
One afternoon the lady and her hus-
band had quarrel. Such things will
happen in connubial life; and, of course,
in this case the husband was in the
wrong. At all events. stung to tenn
porary madness, the lady rushed out of
the house, through her garden. and
flung herself into the Niagara river.
She mad no safely barrel. poor thing
She went over the falls and into the
rapids; and all that was ever found of
her, a few weeks afterward, was one
bronze kid boot with foot in it."
We are afraid that George Augustus
told that yarn to amuse his English
readers and not for publication on the
dangerous banks of Niagara. But how
is the following. which robs Rochester
and the Genesee falls of their chief
claim to glory and historic remem-
brance:
Sam Patch shot, not the rapids, but
the cataract itself, in birch bark ca
noe, more than fifty years ago. Success
full the first time, ne persisted miserably
the second. Take counsel. brave cooper
of Philadelphia Busy yourself with
hoops and slaves and bungholes for
casks that can be turned 10 useful pur-
poses-say. TO hold palm oil or port
wine. Leave Niagara alonc She is
twin-sister TO the Sphinx li,c sister who
does not hold her tonglir through the
ages, but talks and i:i!G> lor.ver and
ever. More perilous size inam her kins-
woman by the Nile; for tli' iir,, conun-
drum she propounds 10 81 victims she
sometimes permits then, N -irss sue
cessfully. The vain crralar., i4ink that
they can solve the riddle .rcond time,
and Niagara deyours ihem
George takes the .cakr. Eli Perkins
is nowhere. If Sam Patch ..shot the
cataract in a birch-bark canoe, Sala is
capable of shooting the Styx on
single. Buffalo Express.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
A Noted Joker.


Kenward Philip, the noted joker and
bohemian of New York and Brooklyn.
was very fond of practical jokes. lie
would stand on a street corner at
o'clock, when the horse-cars were load
ed to the guards, and suddenly call and
beckon wildly 10 some man hanging on
''by the skin of his teeth on the rear
platform. His earnest and excited man
ncr would attract the attention of
all, and the man signaled out would
anxiously leave his hard-earned place
on the car and rush over to discover
what the wild-eyed man wanted. When
he arrived at the curb, Philip, almost
crying with Impotence and irritation,
would push him aside and yell: Not
you, YOU blockhead! Not you! That
other man therel Now. you idiot. you've
made me lose him after air and he
would turn away. leaving his victim to
walk home or wait an hour for another
foothold on the cars.
Philip once secured the Brooklyn
theater for lecture. Manager Neon
nell gave it to him, and the house was
sold out almost entirely to newspaper
men and actors. The audience came
there for good time and was determin-
ed to lose no opportunity to guy" any
thing it could. A glass pitcher Of wa
ter was brought on for the lecturer, and
Mcconnell started the story that 1t con-
tanned not water. but gin. Consequent
ly when Philip filled out q full tumbler
and tossed it off, the audience rose as
one man and yelled, and when he fol-
lowed this up by drinking four more
glasses the people began falling out OF
the boxes. Philip hadn't the first idea Of
what he was to say. lie hadn't even
chosen a subject much less written
word upon it, but he began:
Ladies and gentlemen: When |
made my arrangements for the theater
with the afable young manager -afable
was the word we agreed upon this
morning, was it not, Mr. McConnell?'
and he looked toward the box in which
that person sat, but in the roar that fol-
lowed this sally the manager was seen
hurrying down the aisle to the front Of
the house. ..Ah," resumed the incor-
rigible Philip. ..he has gone to the box
Office. | think will step around after
him and secure my share. And SO ne
continued for an hour with string OF
disconnected nonsense, now an anec-
dote and now personal 'roast' for
some one in the audience.
He was at one time employed on the
Brooklyn Eagle, with the proprietor OF
which, William Hester, he did not agree.
One day, when he had been discharged
for the fourth or fifth time. he sat down
and wrote paragraph which the edi-
tor, not known of his discharge, printed.
The next day Mr.. Hester had the pleas
ure of reading this:
Thomas Kinsella, Abner Keeney,
and w. C. Kingsley. the three former
proprietors of this paper. all died at the
age of 3d. William Hester, the present
proprietor. is just turned 81. Strange!
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
Babies and Opium Smokers.


Mott street physicians, says the New
York Mail and Express, are numerous
in the block that begins at Chatham
square and ends abruptly at the sharp
bend in the thoroughfare. At this point
there are 8 shingles in a bunch, including
one in Hebrew The ends of the block
mark the limits of what is at once the
Broadway, Bowcry. and 18th avenue of
New York's Chinatown. Every nation
OF the immigration records is numerous
ly represented in the neighborhood. but
the Chinese predominant in Mott, Park,
and Pell streets This part of the city
has 4 national notoriety as the eastern
center of Chinese America, and is the
arena in which the imagination of
sketch writers have won many q con-
test with prosaic fact 1t is difficult now
to lind out anything from anybody in or
about Mott street that Il healthy reason
ing faculty can digest Formerly the
most interesting and now the most worn
theme is opium-smoking. Numerous
tales of the addiction of cats and dogs
to the opium habit have been told by
habitues of the neighborhood, but it is
only of late that the human clement has
been introduced in its most startling
form. A child, born of an opium
smoking mother in the big tenement
house in Pell street, came into the world
with a smudge of opium smut on its
body, and at once showed every symp-
tom of the habit, such as yawning.
watery eyes, nervousness, and the like.
The smoke Of three pipes" had to be
blown in its tiny face every day, after
which it became rs bright and merry q
body as the city contained The mother
herself verified the story over an opium
layout and said that DR.. Felix Amabile
of So Mott street would confirm it, The
doctor listened quietly to everything that
had been learned of the remarkable
case, and then smiled sadly.
YES, he said, in oddly accented En-
glish, Il remember the girl. | remem-
Der the case. The mother was hard
opium-smoker. She smoked the dav the
baby was born. The other physicians
around here have probably had similar
cases. The Pell street child was born
bright and healthy, and differed in no
way from ordinary babies. If | had
known the history of the mother | could
not have discovered anything unusual
at the birth. The uninitiated will be-
lieve anything about opium. In this re-
spect hgdrophobia and the opium habit
are about on par. A little truth in re-
gard to both is gradually stealing its
way out What could be more silly
than the story that their child was born
with opium smut on It's body, or that it
was necessary TO blow The smoke Of
three pipes into IFS face every day? 1t is
fact, however, that opium-smokers' ba-
bies require abnormal quantities of par
egoric or other preparations of the kind
when it is necessary TO give it at all. /
have learned this BY attending q number
of children about here. The full hered-
itary effect Is not known in this coun-
try, owing TO the comparative youth Of
the vice. have no doubt the habit is
transmitted. but do not believe it is
ever developed in baby Among
grown persons the tendency of the
opium-smoking habit seems TO be to-
ward consumption.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Some teachers know how to deal with
boys. The members Of central high
school, after a long debate decided that
the marking SYSTEM WAS injurious and
unfair and peJH4oned the principal to
abolish it. We know said the spokes-
man. ''whcther we nave prepared our
lessons or not; tine racord OF IN acct
dental miss may be Misleading"
There was great lase-bail match I'M
pending in which tie whole school was
intensely Interested let us try it on
the ball ground hrs. sad the princi-
pal. ain the coming match keep no
score You viii laiow whether you
play well or i'll, and rs for errors, they
are often purely accidental; why record
them?" Tho buys smiled and with.
drew. The reasoning was too much for
them. -New Y0r6 Leiger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
The Knot and the Mile.


The knot and the nile are terms
often used interchapg, but erro-
neously so. The fact is that mile is
less than 81 per cent of knot. Three
and one-half miles are equal, within q
very small traction. to three knots.
The knot is 60S2 66 feet in length. The
statute mile is $3.50 feet The result of
the difference is that speed in miles per
hour is always considerably larger than
when stated in knots, and if person
forgets this and states speed at SO
many knots, when it was really so
many miles. he may be giving figures
vcrging on the Incredible When we
hear parties say that such Il vessel is
capable of making twenty knots per
hour, we usually take the statement
with a very iare grain Of salt for 20
knots is 2304 miles per hour. a speed
which vessels have made, and it is
doubted Dy some WAC have the best op-
porlunitY for making actual inca sure
ments whether any vessel ever made %
miles in 90 minutes. 1t has been said
that some OF the English torpedo boats
have made rs hi4h as "a IT % knots.
Twenty-four knots are over ga miles
per hour and p knols are upward of
2S4 miles IN hour, distances that are
incredible.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Mr.. Wilfrid Wisgast writes to the To-
ronto MAJ: The fEher of Sir Charles
Wentworth Dixie wasa market gardener
and a florist, in large way Of business,
at Fulham. southwestern suburb of
London. He was engaged to arrange
the grounds about til, HYDE Park Ex-
hibition of 1851. and thus he came to
know and be frequently in contact with
Prince Albert. MIR bike was man of
much shrcwdncss asd 4 real artist in
the cultivation and arrangement Of
flowers. and The acquaintance with the
Prince Cunsort resulted in lifelong
friendship. and hence came the title.
Having been for many years a resident
in the borough Of Chelsea, / can say
that to no enc there this scandal a
revelation. aaa ,mons those who pre-
sumably know there Il but one opinion
in the matter.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
How to Bow to a Lady.


If you wish to make a bow in latest fashion,
And are walking, you must sharply, quickly
stop,
While, if sitting, just as though in towering
passion.
From the chair or from the sofa you must
pop"
Then you place your heels upon line to-
gether,
And you bring your toes together with
jerk,
Leaving space enough between them for
feather,
And assume the fierce expression Of a Turk.
Both your hands upon the seams of trousers
pinning,
With a very sudden movement forward
bend
Till you show to her your head whore hair is
thinning;
Then you straighten, and the lady is your
friend
If by accident yen should to hcr discover
Any portion Of the grace you useh 10 show,
You can never, neyer be her IoYer--
She would splrh you with her dainty little
toe.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
Some Of the Berlin newspapers

Some of the Berlin newspapers are
magnifying the astuteness of NJ de Giers,
the Russian manager of the Cars for
eign affairs, and are proclaiming him
AS the arbiter of the fate of Europe,
inspired thus by Bismarck. doubtless.
He wishes to ring an alarm bell. De
Giers' paper, Le Nord, boldly announ-
ces that Russia is too great q power to
grayitate toward Germany, aud that in
the future She viii consider her own
interests exclusively This, following
the exclusion Of Russia from tue mpc-
rial conference a Gastein. Is especially
significant. OF course, such an an
nouncement bodies no good for the
peace of Europe.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Now they say that President Garfield
was probed to death. In other words,
he was killed by too much doctoring.
Under similar conditions, but without
the doctoring, a common soldier would
have recovered. Garfield died, and the
doctors charged fabulous sums for put
ting him out Of the way,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Parnell has gained 4 point and an
important one. in procuring the pledge
of the British government to suspend
eviction in Ireland Churchill is very
weary and sick over the proiracted
session, and had to make some conccs-
sion. The Irish grip is q strong one,
anu it worries.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
GRANT COUNTY, WISCONSIN.

Population. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 37,s52
Area in square miles. ..-....-..,..... 1,0S6
state valuation of property for 1882 $12 009 66e
GRANT COUNTY, one OF the Oldest and largest
counties in the State, is situated in the extreme
southwest corner-in size being about the same
area as the state OF Rhode Island, Its first set.
Element dates back to 1927.
The County now ranks sixth in population
and twelfth in wealth. The principal products
are Corn, OATS Cattle and Hogs, OF the latter
immense quantities are shipped every year.
GRANT COUNTY, to settlers, still offers advan.
tages equal II not superior to any County in the
state, and is destined to grow in the future as in
the past.
The County is trayersed by four Railroads, on
haWngits terminus in the County at LANCASTER
the County Seat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Some idea of the extent Of the suffer
ing in Charleston may be arrived at
through thestatement that over one-third
of the whole population are now being
relieved, while hundreds are leaving the
stricken city in terror.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

The carly Germans and Teutons were
in appearance much like the Celts, be-
ing descendants from the Aryan stock.
Both the Gauls and the Germans were
superior TO Tie Romans III one point,
namely. the Use OF soap. though it does
not seem quite clear whether they en-
ployesiit wholly for cleanliness or partly
for the purpose Of reddening their
hair
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

The mercury reached III in the shade
at Park River, d. T., on recent oeca-
sion. This confirms the impression, al
ready formed, that some portions of that
territory are on speaking terms with
Hades.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

The oak tree in Bu:hneli Park, Hart
ford. grown from an acorn of the fa-
NOUS Charter oak, IS in 4 fiourishina
condition. This is tie only successful
attempt 10 preserve "a offspring from
the historic tree
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
EXEcUTIoN sALE.-srErnSSs

LNAECUIlON SALE.-SrEPHESS.
State Of Wisconsin, County OF Grant-ss.
Circuit Court.
Joseph Hausmann, Plaintiff. vs.w. 0. stephens,
Defendant.
BY virtue Of an execution issued out Of the
Circuit Court for Grant County, Wisconsin. upon
Judgment rendered in said conrt on the 18th
day Of June. 1886 in favor of the above named
plaintiff and against the above named defendant
to me directed and delivered. have levied upon
all the right title and interest the defendant had
on the date said Judgment was rendered or has
since acquired, to the following described real
estate, to wit:
The undivided one-half "a Of North thirty
five (55l feet OF Lot number seven az in Block
eleven I'D. of the city of Lancaster, Grant
County, Wisconsin. and will offer for sale and
sell the same for cash TO the highest and best
bidder or bidders at the front door OF the Court
House, in the city OF Lane aster. said county and
State aforesaid. the 9th day OF October 1856,
at one O'Clock in the afternoon. to satisfy said
Judgment, interest and costs.
Dated Sheriff's Office, Lancaster, Wis. August
81, 1888.
ORA RICHARDS, Sheriff
Grant County, Wis
BUSHNELL & WATKINS,
Plaintiffs Attorneys.
Posto1ice address Lancaster, Grant County,
Wisconsin. e6w1
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Tuesday William Il. Morrison was
renominated by the Democrats Of the
Eighteenth Illinois District.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

LySTATE-KING.
State OF Wisconsin. County Court OF Grant
County--tn Probate.
Notice is hereby given, that at the regular term
of the County Court, to be held in and for said
County, at the Court House in the city of Ian :
caster, in said County. on the
FIRST TUESDAY OF OCTOBER. A. d. 1886,
the following matter will be heard and considered;
The application of Harrison r. King to admit
to probate the last will and testament of Margie
+, King, late OF the town of Ellenboro in said
county, deceased.
BY order of the Court.
GEO. h. CARTER, County Judge
Dated August 90. 1886. BOWS
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

There are in Paris $50 photographic
establishments. Of which 200 are en-.
gagged in color printing. The French
lead all others in the photographic
art
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

1t is stated that an uprising is in pro-
gress in Northeastern India against
British rule and in favor of Russian
invasion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
NOTICE TO cREDIToRs-RossIE.

N UIIIE To NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
State OF Wisconsin. County Court for Grant
County-ln Probate.
In the matter Of the estate Of Margaret Rsssie,
deceased.
Notice is hereby given, that the claims and
demands of all persons against Margaret Rossie.
late OF the city OF Lancaster in said county. de-
ceased, will be received, examined and adj ed
by the county court of Grant County. at the regn
lar terms Of said court. TO be held at the court
house in the city of Lancaster, in said County OF
Grant, on the
FIRST TUESDAY OF DECEMBER, A. d. 1856
AND THE FIRST TUESDAY OF
MARCH, A. ID. 1887.
Also that six (6l months from and after the 18th
OF August, A. ID. 1885, is the time limited for ths
creditors Of said Margaret Rossie. deceased. e
present their claims TO said court for examination
and allowance. BY order of the Court
GEO. b. CARTER, County Judge.
Dated August is, A. D. 1856. 25w4
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

GRANT CHAPTER. Regular convocation second
hd fourth Tuesday Of each month at p. m, in
Budd block.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

LANCASTER LODGE /. o. g. t. Meets every
Tuesday at p. m. in Budd block Madison street.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

SYLVAN CANT. NJ. w. OF A. Meets LIST and Sd
Fridays OF each month in Budd Block, Madison
street.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Fidelity LODGE A. o. U. W. Meet first and
third Mondays Of each month in Budd block
Madison street.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

MISSISSIPPI VALLEY LODGE /. o. OF. Meets
every Wednesday at 7:30p. IN. in Odd Fellows
hall Maple street.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

A small quake was felt Tuesday
morning at Charleston, S. C.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
ROSCOBEL.

.ttorneys-WLsoN 4 PRovIs, Bosco-
~ WIS Attorneys and Counselors at Law.
De i;;, acticein ali Wisconsin Courts and in the
Tnited States Courts, make Collections and tran
sact business promptly. ONCE over knks Bro
hardware store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
HAZEL GREEN.

n0tary Public, Insurance Agent, Drug
gfst and Stationer-GEo. X MILLs-Dealer in
Drugs, Medicines, Paints Oils. Confectionery,
Fruits Tobaccos and Cigars Books and station
cry, Pure Liquors for Medicinal use. Prescrlp-
tons carefully filled. lOyl
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09
INSTANTANEOUS Deceased.

INSTANTANEOUS, Deceased.
state OF Wisconsin. County Court Of Gram
County--In Probate.
Notice is hereby given, that at the regular tern
of the County Cont. TO be held in and for said
County, at the Court House in the city OF Ian
caster. in said County, on the
FIRST TUESDAY OF OCTOBER. AID. 1856,
the following matter will be heard and consid
cred:
The application of 7. ID. Nagle for the aD
pointment OF an administrator OF the estate o
Thomas Nagle late of the town Of Patch Grove
in said county. deceased.
By order OF the Court
GEO. b. CARTER. County udge.
Dated August 10. 1856 COWS
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH. Corner Madison
and Cherry streets. Services at 1890 a. IN. and
y. m. Sunday.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

LAScAsTERL LODGE A. F. 81 A. NJ. meets first and
tnird Saturday in eachmsnth at p. m, in Budd
block.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

LANCASTER COUNCIL X. T. Meets first Thurs
day Of each month in Budd block Madison street.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Corner Mons
roc and Cherry streets. Services $3.50 a. m. and
7 y. m. Sunday.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

BAPTIST CHURCH. On Madison street. Ser
vices 1920 A. NJ, and 80 p M. on the second and
third Sunday Of each month. Bible school every
Sunday at 2P.M.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-09

Earthquake shocks were felt Tues.
day in Greece