Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-15
ENTERPRISING.

The floral bell is getting to be rather stale for marriage ceremonies. Why should not some enterprising couple be married under ( pair trees-Boston Com. Bulletin.
 "Mr. Dusenberry, see the bargain made! I only paid fifty cents basket for these peaches" "My dear, they are half decayed You paid an ofal price for them. ."-Phila- delphia Call.
 'sI heard that old Mr. Spriggins was sick, Mrs. snaggs" s'Yes, he seems to be in 8 tera" 'Be was taken with an athletic fit, believe. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
 When Lieutenant Hem saw the Mayfow. CT cross the line and noticed the sorrowful look on his wife's face, he turned to her and remarked: "What ho! my gala -tear!" The crew wfainted.-Washingto Post.
 Sunday school -'Now ,chil- dren, tell me what heathens are." Small boy (who has been reading about the Belfast ri s)-"Heathens is folks what don't fight over religion. "-Omaha World.
 He (reading)-"And on rounding Sandy Hook the Galatea fell off two points She (not interested in yachtinge"H much easier she must have felt, poor thing, particularly if they were Jacks. ."-Tid-Bits.
 Small coins are said to be coming into prominence. We are glad to hear of it. Heretofore they have mean kind of way of getting down in one corner of your vest pocket and staying there.-Rochester Post Express.
 "How high do you want to insure our house?' s'About up the chimney."-F lie gende Blatter.
 Never attempt to telegraph an offer of marriage-it should always be sent by male. Boston Com. Bulletin.
 ''She did wrong to look back, didn't she, Bessie?" "Yes mamma" 'tAnd what dc you think Lot thought when he saw his poo1 wife turned into pillar of salt.' 'tI don't know, mamma; I 'spect he wondered where he could get fresh one. e."-Philadelphis Call.
 Fogg has said the meanest thing any man ever was capable of saying. Wher Mrs. F. left him alone in the house the other evening she remarked: "You won't be lone ly, deara" "No,' he replied; 'I shan't mis- you at all. The parrot, you know, is here. Boston Transcript.
 Colonel Ethan Allen, of Lisbon, was a one time guest at the Howard Hotel, cor ner of Broadway and Maiden Lane, New York. On entering the dining room nc waiter advanced to give him a seat. Int colonel coolly walked to table near by and taking a chair which was turned up at ths head of the table took seat. He was hard ly in the chair before waiter came hurried ly up to him, saying: 'This seat is engaged. ''To whom?' asked the colonel. ''To gen tleman," replied the waiter. "He's come, said the colonel and remained at his dinner undisturbed, amid peals of laughter from the guests at the table.-Norwich Bulletin. An ex-mayor of the city of Hallowell told me joke at his own expense. This ex-mayol is blessed with an indulgent wife, and one ot her good qualities, manifested through life, has been to let her husband sleep through il all the while she walked the floor and fused with the baby in the dreary night. ''One night" said the Hallowell gentle man, -four oldest baby was unusually fret full. My wife gave it soothing syrup, heated milk and fed it, turned it over and hunted through it's clothes to see if there was pin sticking, but could not make the baby keep quiet. At last she nudged me q had slept all the while) and said, James, what do you think about this child having worms?' 'sI dunno, ,''said I, guess 'twould be good idea '"-Lewiston Journal.