Morning journal and courier., 1886-03-05
I'R UTH.

1 Telling the truth about it afterwards does not make it right to chop down cherry tree. Howell Citizen.
 That untimely blizzard evidently took ad l vantage of the reduced passenger rates across | the continent. t.-Boston Advertiser. The Philadelphia News the other day head \ ed department, "What Philadelphia Edi- l tors Think" It occupies one eighth of col 1 mn.-Puck.
 A Pennsylvanian by the name of Socks has had four wives in a married life of ten years T :, o pairs of socks in ten years ain't bad | Burlington Free Press
 Miss Coldcash (to her partner, who has ] visited the wine room too often)-'Mr. Sniff kins, you are not dancing waltz step" MT Snifkins-"W thens' Miss Coldcash- "A reel, ir"-Rambler.
 He-Is your pa in, Sadiei Yes, but you | needn't be afraid to come in, for he has just gone upstairs to wind up his Waterbury watch, and he won't be down for three hour at least. Boston Courier.
 "And 80 you have resolved never tc 1 marrya" said the sixteen-year-old girl to | mpanion of her own age. "Yss, have know it would break my heart if anyone talked to me like pa does to ma'.-Phiiadel phia Herald.
 ':Im afraid am crowding you, sir" said l a stout old lady iii Third avenue street car. l as she wedged passenger into the corner "Oh, 1 d-dont nm mind being c-crowd ed," he gasped; 'FTm u-used to it. I Hive | in Harlem fat."-Harpers Bazar. Bobby is carrying an umbrella open when ! it is not raining or the sun shining. He is asked why he does so. '''Cause when it l rains pa wants it, and when it shines ma 1 wants it, and it's only this kinder wedder l kin git tir use it at all."-Howard Paul. The Express has discovered that a New York correspondent stationed here has the scent of sleuthhound for incubating news. This Is the most extraordinary case we have ever encountered. The gentleman alluded to must have dog goned fowl ways.-Albany Times.
 The Utica Observer remarks that the ru- nor that Martha Washington was a Troy girl cannot be substantial. Unfortunately it cannot be. Nevertheless, it is fattering in the highest degree to Martha Washington that such a rumor has obtained currency Troy Press.
 "I suppose" said lawyer to a Dakota jus tice, "that you reserve your decision until tomorrow so as to look up some of the
 doubtful points in the casea' 'sNot much, :"
 replied the justice; 'I made up my mind
 about this here soon as heard who the defendant was. I want the time to fig
 ger up the bill of costs. ."-Estelline Bell.
 Dry goods dsaler-'No, I'm sorry to say
 haven't any more or that DfalO to-day, put l
 am expecting several hundred yards next
 week" Shopper-"Couldn't you hurry up
 part of the ordera I shouldn't care for as
 much as that" Dry goods dealer-s' Perhaps
 I might arrange it, if you want SO large an
 order. How much would you wish?'
 Shopper-"Oh, about half a yard. ."-Tid-
 Bits.
 To Shield Him as Much as ible.-Mis-
 souri Girl-Yes. I mean to make my party
 as successful as possible, and if you know
 any young men, MT. Page, I wish you would
 invite them for me. Page-Thank you, I
 will. I don't know many fellows who attend
 parties, but there's Beans; guess he would
 come. He's from Boston, you know. Mis-
 souri Girl-Oh, never mind that, invite him
 and tell him we won't mention where he's
 from.-Tidbits.
 An Incredulous Professor-Tom Anjerry,
 student at the University of Texas, applied
 to Professor Shore for permission to be ab
 sent. ''I would like to be excused from my
 jography lesson this afternoon, as I want to
 take my sister out riding" said Tom. The
 old professor, who is no fool, looked at tEe
 young man over the top of his spectacles
 and said slowly: '*Want to take your sister
 cut riding in a buggy, eh? Is she related to
 you?'-Texas Siftings.