The Washington critic., 1886-05-01
GENERAL AND CRITICuLAR,

possessed a cold in the head.
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.
The employees Of the Washington and
Georgetown Street-Railway were Hurt $500
worth yesterday, but they are not going to
sue for damages.
Now stay the Signal-Service men,
DO with them whatsoever you like,
This weather is "might have been,'
The Queen of May is on strike.
It's a cold day when the Queen of May
gets left.
All the hatters in town have got their
straw hats stored in warm place, and 1t is
thought they will not be injured by the
frost.
"What's the name Of your horse9" asked
Jones of Brown, after he had driven around
him once or twice on the road.
Congress"
"Funny name. What do you call him
that for?"
because he never passes anything"
The attention Of indignant Albany poll
ticans is hereby called to the fact that there
are millions Of sour apple trees In this coun-
try and only one jeff Davis, and yet the
ratio remains the same.
At one time yesterday in the House Mr.
Blount, Mr. Hatch and Mr.. Reagan tried
to get the floor at the same time. The
sympathies of the entire galleries were ten
dered the floor. The poor thing looked
like n wreck.
At least two men in Washington took
drop too much for their comfort yesterday.
Thus do we see the evils of intemperance
| getting in their work.
Congressman Bragg comes from Wiscon-
| sin; Congressman Bluster seems to come
from everywhere.
Does Mr.. Edwin Booth take sugar in his
"vertigoY"
The following epitaph is appropriately
| quoted at this season:
| Beneath these cold unfeeling stones,
| Here lies the body of John Il. Jones,
| Who thought 1t wouldn't do much hurt,
To change his flannel undershirt.
Hon. Ben Butterworth OF Ohio, Member
OF Congress from Cincinnati, in speech in
the House yesterday referred to the we'll
known adverb either as "eyether." When
this fact becomes known In Cincinnati Ben
| w haua IN do f,f
planning.
Once upon a time Bill with a ruined
Tombstone under one Arm and busted
Coffin lid strung jauntily across its shoulder
as Gaily the Troubador was accustomed to
wear his Guitar, having done the Capitol
and knocked Everything right aud left In
the Senate, hailed o Herdic and proceeded
to the Executive Mansion. There was the
Arrogance of Success In Its Manners and 1t
asked the Driver to change Twenty Dol
lar Note. Arriving at the Executive Man
sion the Bill staggered into the President's 8
Office and throwing one limb "a leg) over
the Table 1t remarked:
"Mornin', Grove, Ole Boy, I'm that Ana
tomical Bill you've been readin' about
fank out your Fen p. q. q. and slug your
Fist onto my Papers,"
"OhV' exclaimed the President In some
surprise.
"Not necessarily oh" said the Bill,
sunless you spell Cleveland with an o."
The President looked at the Bill for O
Minute in quiet earnest way and muir
murlng $50 this is the Anatomical Bill" he
whIstled softly once or twice and called
out;
"Veto Here Veto Sic him, ole boy"
and the next Instant Veto had the Bill by
the Residuum of his Trousers. 1t is not
necessary to go into the sorrowful Details;
suffice 1t to say in a short Time afterward
the Decorated BIZ was again In the Senate
Total Wreck. Veto had done his Work
well. AS the Grave Senators gazed upon
the Ruin Veto had wrought, they shook
their Heads more in Pity than in Anger,
and only Six could be found to act as Pail
Bearers.
Moral: Look out for the Dog.
Washington will never become business