The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-03-22
THE PRESS.
MONDAY MORNING, MARCH 2s.
WIT AND WISDOM.

Sam Jones sayings-You must place yourself
so that God can get an under hold OF you. Wnen
was boy / could throw another boy very quick
" il he would give me an under hold.
Creedi What is ereedP It IS the skin OF truth
set up and stuffed with saWdust ana SAND IL
There are wishy washy fellows in the church
that have cotton string with few ribs tiea 10 III
and they call 1t their backbone.
II takes less sense to cFitiefse than to do any
thing else. There are great many critics IN inc
ii have known women too poor to own pair of
shoes, but never knew one too poor TO own
looking glass. 49,
where he is not welcome. why does he stay in
Perhaps II you don't talk about your religion 1t
is because you haven't any to talk about.
Ihaye been taking your medicine Athlophoros
and 1t has helped me very much. l will recon-
mend it to anyone for rheumatism. think another
bottle making three in all, will cure me- airs NJ
AsJohnson, IL Vine St., Lawrence, Mass.
She was young she was green, she was very
new in Washington. At a recent swell aifalr sne
had gone with the crowd into the refresnmehI
room. Presently an elegant looking waiter for an
the world like a foreign ambassador, bowed po-
litely before her and murmured; ,,,..o,
SIS there anyone waiting on you, MISS
"Sir? Sir?" she Stammered In startled empar-
rassment. ,...,,..a onrona waiting on
"PardonneZ mol. is tnere ahyoho "altinS on
aohD she said, bushlng brightly, mo sir, not
In Washington. But WHEN I'm at nome I've got
more beauX than any other girl In town.
PalptatIon of the heart, nervousness, trem-
blines. nervous headache, cold hands and feet,
main in the back and other forms of weakness are
relieved by Carriers Iron Pills. made specially for
the blood, nerves and complexion.
little Jane had often been reproyed Tor DONG
violence to the moods and lenses OF the VeTD "
be-" She would say" PIE n ns'e "a answer an in
correct question, but to wait until y was coItee.
ed One day the two sat together, tne aunt puSy
with embroidery, the child with her ooiiS flnaf
ly Jane said; . :, .o;no,
But aunt was counting and did not answer:
Fatal w,rd "bei" 1t was the cid enemy, ana 70 u
alone could the child ascribe the silence that 1oi-
"Aunt Kate" she persisted with an attempt to
correct her mistake "please tell me what that Is
Stil auntie sat silently counting, though her lip
curled with amusement Jane sighed, put mace
another patient effort:
''Please tell me what is going to are"
Aunt Kate counted on; perhaps by tnis LIN, LINE
her energies for one last anu great effort:
Aunt Kate, what am that going to are?"
Do not suffer from Sick Headache moment
longer. 1t Is not necessary. Carter's Little Lly-
er pills will cure you. Dose, one little pill. All
druggists sell them.
The celebrated lecturer, John B. Cough, stood
before great audience one evening raised MS
arm straight up as far as he could and said
"There are men in India who carry their arms
lust like this day and night, and cannot put Them
down ii It were to save their lives.
He went on TO say that they began carryln
their arms in that position as penance. BY
holding them up for a long time, they became
fixed and could not be changed. a.
"This" said Mr.. Cough in startling tones Is
what habit can doi''
M. L. Scranton, Pa, Blair, Alderman 9TH Ward
stated Nov o. 80: He had used DR.. Thomas,
Eclectric OIL for spralns, burns, cuts bruises ana
rheumatism Cured every time.
Sbylock-Dot vas fine blay of Richard IhiId
and dot Pooth he vas goot actor;
Gundlefnger-Dot vas so; but ne vas no pets
nees man.
ShylOck-Vy not? -, :; 10 loo,
Gundlefinger-Dake dot horse-drade IN de iasl
ret Did YOU effer see a man gift himself ava!
like dot? w llaf trent dot would hal solt mn
de hest horse in New York for den dollars' AM
drone de harness in.