Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1886-04-17
The Evolution Of a Crank.

The Evolution OF Crank.
Some cranks revolve and others
evolve. This crank has done both. He
has revolved in his mind certain facts,
and evolved from them certain fancies
and conclusions. OF course, coming
from crank, they are Of no value; but
they may be Of interest as a matter OF
curiosity.
1t seems TO this crank as if the two
parties were playing at see-saw, lib.
"teeter" rests on a barrel marked cold
Bourbon" or Xxx ALL" On one end
is the Republican party and on the other
is the Democratic party, each trying
to see which is the heavier. But in the
middle stands the saloon keeper, with
one loot on one side OF the barrel and
the other foot on the other, and by
leaning his weight to this side or that he
determines all the ups and downs.
These are fancies the crank has
evolved; now for a few Of the facts: The
first fact is that within the last four
years eleven Republican and eight
Democratic State legislators have re-
fused even to allow the people to vote
on the question Of saloons or no saloons.
When this crank went to school he
used to be taught that this is a country
ofpeople, for the people, by the people.
Our State legislators don't seem to
think that this appleis when the saloon
is at stake. May be not, they ought to
know.
Another fact is that, while the Fcder-
al congress has, within the last four
years, appointed commissioners to in
vestigate into the tariff and silver ques-
ton, the grasshCpper plague, the pluro'
pneumonia epidemic among cattle, the
hog cholera, and many similar com
missions, it has, year after year, al
the crack Of the liquor dealers whip
voted down the bill to create commits
sion which should report on the efiec
that liquor traffic has on society. Ant
the funny thingis is, that it doesen't make
any difference whether it is Democra
or Republican congress the bill il
showed under just the same. Thi
crank has an idea that the effects OF tn,
liquor traffic are almost as important tt
the country as the effects OF hog cholera
cattle pluroneumonia and Kansas grass
hopper. Congress, it seems, doesen
agree with him. The crank cont hell
that.
One million men ont of work! say
mills closing, factories shutting up
merchants failing, but the saloon goe
on forever.
1.-THE 10000 saloons average 500
day that makes $60,000,000 for tn
year. That's what the saloons get
What do they give?
This crank dreamed: He fancied h
saw this 100000, 900 going into sho
stores, bakeries, groceries, drygoo
stores, ETC., instead of into the saloons
The factories opened and hung on
signs linen wanted Gotten and WOO
en- mills begun to clatter like mad
Farmers talked OF the boom in pre-
visions and stables. Business woke u
all along the line.
At the end of the year he saw stou
shoes on the youngsters feet, jackets o
the boys, jerseys on the girls, gowns o
the mothers, and every man had Sur
day-go-to-meeting suit. Carpets wer
on the floors, -four in the larder, an
coal in the cellar, But some thing
were missing. Many man had lost
black, black eye. Pity, wasn't il?
The crank stopped dreaming. II
found that from 1868 to 1873 the amour
of liquor of all kinds consumed in tn
United States, averaged six gallons pc
annum to every man. women and chile
and from 1873 to 1856 the amount ave
aged nine gallons. There has been a
Increase in tile use OF every kind of lie
uor. He asks himself if this isn't ia
becoming the land OF the spree and III
bo,,,a of the kuaye.
The crenk feels bad over these an
similar facts. He does indeed. He
mad. and would be ashamed OF hin
self If nc wasn't. He wopldn own
sixteenth cousin who could think
these things without growing mac
lie has cogiated--even a crank ca
sometimes coginte.
He has reflected that while ne III
heard eoed words spoken lor WIN
beer. ale and alcohol in many iorn