The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
MATCHMAKING MADMEN.
Dealing With Four Hundred of
Them and One Sane Man.

''The Blackwell's Island smallpox
scare" said a New York physician of
prominence, reminds me of a scare of
the same character that invaded many
of our public institutions, Blackwell s
island among them, in the winter of
1870. l was doing duty on Wards
Island then One day early in the after
noon o -ders were received to vaccinate
the inmates of the insane asylum.
Blacxwell's Island takes care of the
female lunatics, while the male unfor-
Inmates are housed in very comfortable
quarters on Wards Island. 1t so hap
pened that all but two members of the
medical staff We're in the city when the
order arrived. The two looked at each
other. We mutually wondered whether
we could finish the job before dark.
There were over four hundred patients
10 be operated upon, and all of them
were crazy. Now. when you think of
it, there is nothing small in the task Of
vaccinaing four hundred persons pos
Sessed with an average amount of COM
mon sense. The ordinary sane person
does not enjoy vaccination, though Z
have seen persons who had SO many
marks upon their arms and legs that /
could account for them in no other way
than that the owner of the scars liked to
be in a constant state of Inflammation,
"You can easily imagine, then that
the job of vaccinating over four hum
dred more or less violent lunatics did
not strike us as an easy one. But we
didn't waste much time in speculation.
the patients were divided according to
the character of their complaints. The
most violent were in Ward l. The
keepers were instructed to prepare the
lunatics as well as they could for the
approaching ordeal This consisted
simply in rolling up the jacket and shirt
sleeves on the left arm, SO that no time
would be lost after we had entered
ward. This was done in every case,
and perhaps saved a few minutes of
time in the whole afternoon. Why not
more? Simply because Just as soon as
a keeper lad turned his back after roll
ing up patients sleeves the patient
turned them down again. The lunatics
had never seen it done before. 1t was
a novelty to which the most of them
didn't object. and it amused them to
undo the work. We took our station at
the end of ward nearest the door. A
keeper carried the points and stood
ready to render any assistance that
might be needed. The lunatics in the
mild wards were ranged in double col
umn and approached us in Indian file.
Each column was marshaled by two
keepers, one at the head and the
other at the foot. took the head
of one column while my confrere
looked after the other. 1t was
quick work when the lunatics didn't
kick. A razor-like scalpel quickly
scooped away the cuticle and made an
opening for the vaccine. After little
practice we became SO expert that the
lunatics seemed fascinated by the quick
movements of the flashing knives. the
sudden reddening of the skin, the little
spurts of blood and the regular style of
work about the affair. Each of them
was ordered not to turn down his sleeve
until the blood had dried. Some obeyed
the order religiously, and marched
about the ward until lookup time, with
their eyes riveted on the laceration.
1t had curious fascination for some,
and they would have made trouble had
any attempt been made to cover it up.
Others, the moment they left our pres
ence and were beyond the reach of the
keepers eyes, pulled their sleeves down
IN tho p,oc% npooncorno1 N, pnor ond
seemed to forget all about the opera
ton the moment it was finished. Others,
again, would twist their hands until
they reached the newly-made wound
with their lips, and then they would
lick it, some with demonstrations of de-
light. as if they liked the taste, and
Others, in q matter-of-fact fashion, as if
q liberty had been taken with their per-
sons which they could not prevent, but
which they were determined to obliter-
ate as far as they could.
with three-quarters of the patients
we made very fast time, much faster
than we would have made had they
been sane, as in this case a good many
of them would have asked unnecessary
questions before they would have sub
mitted, and not few would have
backed out at the last moment. With
some of the violent lunatics we had
warm time. One old gentleman. who
several years before had proclaimed
himself Emperor Of Russia, fatty re-
fused to be vaccinated. and threatened
to have q thousand blows of the knout
to each of us. One keeper
held His Msjesty's legs. while two
others clung to his arms while put the
requisite quantity of virus into his arm.
There was another who had been . ply
Ecian in good practice, who gave Us .
good deal of bother. he was opposed
10 the system and denounced L - .