davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
The Comfort of Our Visitors


The centennial of the Chathams is close
at hand and they are giving their earnest
attention TO making careful and adequate
preparations for the comfort Of the visit
ing military. In such efforts they doubt
less Will secure the hearty cooperation Of
our citizens. But there are others who
will visit Savannah during centennial
Week-citZens from many States-repre-
sentative men in the sections from which
they will come. Hundreds OF them will
see our city for the first time, and the i'm
preston which will be made upon them
during their stay here will certainly come
back by reflection at some time in the fu-
ture. How important to us then that such
impression should be favorable. HOspit-
able themselves they Will come to our city
at a time when the ordinary capacity for
the accommodation of visitors will be
strained to the utmost. How are they to
be accommodated and cared for?
For every soldier there will be
ten civilians. and these latter musU
have some place TO lay their
heads. If the conditions were reversed
and Savannah came to them they would
know how to solve the problem If its So
luton caused them TO camp out in
the telds. The ancient reputation of Sa-
vannah for hospitabe entertainment
makes it imperative that the visitors who
will honor us with their presence shall
be taken care of. They are not apt to be
eXacting at such time; but they will
be the strangers within our gates
and we cannot afford 20 let them
depart dissatisfied or disappointed.
Those who travel little in Georgia would
be surprised at the extent OF the kindly
feeling with which savannah is regarded.
The old barriers are being thrown down
and the old preiudces are fast disappear
ing. 1t is 20 such general gatherings as
this that we must look to bring about that
full understanding between the people OF
our common State which our patriotism
and our interests alike demand. To the
accompl lishment Of this end nothing can
so surely tend as well directed attention
20 the comfort and pleasure Of the multi
tude which will shortly be with us. and
it will be eminently appropriate for the
Mayor TO call our citizens together for
the purpose Of considering this matter.
This paragraph from an exchange con-
tains good deal OF wisdom presented in
a very effective manner. II says: "Young
man, It is good thing TO keep on the
right side OF your dollar. Il makes a
great difference In your comfort and pros
perity whether YOU spend % per cent or
100 per cent. Of it. but it is a positive in
suit 20 the dollar TO spend l0j per cent OF
II. You will be sorry enough for IL when
toe dollar gets fair grip upon you. A
dollar resents a mortgage upon itself. 1t
will never serve you oheerfully II you
dispose Of IL before you get It."
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
BRIGHT BITS.

BALDHEADs are 30 numerous in Chicago
that an audience at a place of amusement
looks viewed from the upper gallery OF a
Uhe ttre. Tor al the world like c0bbestone
pavement.-Chicdao telegram.
"WAITER" excIaims an impatient guest,
when viii you bring that pork ordered?"
'Ihe pork you pine for will be here di-
rec ly SIR" and his faCeuous nibs waltzed in
to the culinary Pittsbur9 Com
n1ercidI.
AT THE CRIMINAL CoURT.-Judge--How is
this prleoner2 ! find you here again at the end
Of yourG We years not changed particle.
Prisoner Csady)-Alas, very little, your
Honor. (Ihen with pOhteness)-Neith ither has
your Honor changed much, for that matter
Graphic.
A SCIENTIFIC WRITER estimates that a
spider eats four times it's weight for break
fast. nine times its weight for dinner and
thirteen times its weight for supper In this
respect the spider resembles the young lady
oftashlon who declares that she has no appe-
ute at all-Ne1C HdceH NeirS.
sTUDEST-wen, we treated the patient in
most approved way.
Doctor, how?
Student-Well, we put him on milk diet
then he was put on wine: then we put him on
the electrical treatment; then we put him on
Doctor-You will put him on ice.-Rotel
HaU.
WHAT ONE WOMAN WANTS
"Give as our freedom." the woman cried,
Give us the francnlse" she droned;
give rs the ballot of which we're denied,
Give us our rights, she groaned.
"Give us and our cause no farther scorn,
Oh, give us the wOrld,' said she;
But some man in the hail did nothing but
"o6, give us a restw said he.
-GoodaWs Sun.
OYSTERS, my dear sir. said Prof. Dean, the
youthful scientist ia charge of the government
inquiry department. on fish and ish food at
Fulton NJ MTket, why look at this" lie was
busly engaged in examining under micro
scope the food which he had taken, unmasti-
Gated. from the stomach Of an oyster.
"OystSrs, We have discovered - continued
the professor, holding up drawinaOf curious
designs, live on lntus ria and aga known
as 'desmids' and 'diatnes.' the lowest order
of plants and animalcu i, or minute entrOmas-
trac ians. rot'fera, cyrlCps ami daphna."
"Gooi heavens!' ! gasped, land here Pve
been eating a dozen at D0rlon's. No wonder
they require lemon juice and red PEPPER
Aeto York Sttr.
YOUNG HUSBAND Ito photographer)-Wi
YOU set time for taking baby's picture as
soon as possible, please?
Photographer-H m. How old is the baby?
Y. ii Six months.
P.-Fr~t baby.
y. IL Yes, and he's a daisy.
P-H-m | suppose he is. Mother'l be
along. OF coursey
Y. H.-leS.
P.--Father, too2
Y. H.-Oh, yes.
P.-H-m. Nurse?
\. H.-Ges.
P,-Grandmother2
Y. 1.-Two Of EN-.
P.-H-m. Let me see. This is April !.
How would Dec. - or l3 next SUIT your
Y II December! cau't waiJ that long.
PIN sorry, sir; but my time Is all taken
up to the middle OF December. Good morn
ing.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
The Outcome of the Edmunds Res
Olutions.

Senator Edmunds is reported TO be IN
very bad humor, aud he has good reason
to be. The Republican Senators sup
ported his resolutions not to vote for the
confirmation OF nominations in cases
where vacancies were caused by remO-
walls unless the President furnished rea-
sons for the removals, and now he finds
that they do not intend to obey II. This
is certainly not very happy outcome for
the Republicans of Mr.. Edmunds' extra
ordinary effort to obstruct the President
in the exercise Of his right to make remO-
walls and appointments.
The truth is, that several OF the Repub-
lican Senators have never felt comfortable
in the position which he Edmunds' resO-
lutiOns place them, and il 1t had not been
for the vigorous application Of the party
whip they would have abandoned Mr..
Edmunds long before the tiresome debate
on the resolutions was concluded.
1t seems that in the Republican caucus
on Friday afternoon there was a good deal
Of plain talk. the effect Of which was de-
termination not to follow Mr.. Edmunds'
lead any further in the contest which he
insists on carrying on with the President.
The nominations of those against whom
nothing Objectionable can be found will
be promptly confirmed.
The debate;on the Edmunds resolutions,
which occupied so much of the time of
the Senate, and which attracted so much
attention, Will, under the circumstances,
hardly do either Mr.. Edmunds or the Re-
publican party any good. The people will
conclude, and that, too, very justly, that
Il the Republican Senators were sincere
in supporting the resolutions they would
have followed the course marked out in
them. Their abandonment of them is
pretty good evidence that they regard
them as wrong in purpose and principle,
and that they put them forward not with
the hope Of accomplishing good, but with
the intention of securing a political ad-
vantage
The Democratic party needs no better
campaign material for the elections next
fall than the debate on these resolutions,
and the outcome oft. The Republican par
tyshowed itself willing to give false inter-
probation to the constitution for an I'M
worthy purpose, and lacked the courage
to carry out its programme. Is a party
with such a record entitled to the conf
dence Of the country?
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
A story of Andrew Jnokson.

From the Neto York Tribune.
Col. Blackman told me yesterday story Of
Andrew jackson, which he heard IN Pennsyl-
vania last summer at a resort where he was
staying. II seems that there formerly lived
In that vicinity an odd character VINO was
known as ANDREW Mason, MillwrighU." He
was as eccentric in his opinions as he was
fearless IN their expression. There cane along
by his place in 1907 a numbering coach with
two men Ia 1t. II stopped to water the horses.
one OF the men seemed to desire to obtain an
ldea OF public sentiment and began to ask
questions of Mason as to pubic feeling over
Aaron Burr. whose trial was about TO take
place al chmOnd. The old fellow repl ed
with good deal Of vehemence that every
body believed that Burr was a raitor. and
that Andrew Jackson was not far from 1t.
The stranger jumped from the carriage at
this rema~k, swearing like apirate, and draw
ing sword chased Mason out Of the road and
into the fields for safety, before he could real
lze that 1t was Jackson whom he had been ad-
dressing. Jackson had harbored Burr in the
west and was then on his way to Richmond
to the trial,
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
The Oause Of FnLlure In Lifo.

A literary client Of the great Romeiko trbo
has originated new industry in the paste
and scl-tOrs line, has given that diigeot
newspaper clipper an order 20 collect INFORM.
ation regarding causes " failure IA mo. Rn.
metse, Therefore. with his usual 1eol. has #.
sued one ~ the cruele-t Of circulars "to al
Curate- Of more than 80 years of age. to .I
unknown barrisiors and 10 certain members
OF Parliament and public men" We wonder
what the un ortunatcs think wh.n thov duiI
Themselves thus stamped with the Romeike
brand as patent fNiurcA. Aud li-t of quss.es
~ tic names Of the certain member. of par
Lament and public men who have receivet
circulars would De Instructive aud entertafn-
ing. In journalism, n - man passes 90 with
out achieving success In bis avOcatlon Ro.
mcike dubs him failure. and sonds him "a
form OF INQUIRY Iuis "fOrm of tnaulrvu a.
too curious not TO be printed in it, entirety.
II runs ~ follow.
"1o what causes do YOU attribute your f,il.
ure IN lifct i, -- of -, profession - AT
tribute my failure In life to the rolInVyir,
causee: !. Drink tsav what drink. p Cam
bling, turf, cArda, or whatfJ 3. Dishoresty
4, IniOrtunHtc acquai aintauces. g. Marrtaga
q. single life. Z. Dissemination 10 work.
Lending or borrowing SAY which. g I'm.
popular views tn0liticaD. unpopular We've
FciiRlousl 10. Tobacco Un what form II.
General incapacity. y. Other causes, gon
eral remarks
II any Of our readers feel tempted to un.
BOSOM thcmselvcs 10 kOmeikc ana his literary
client they can an Ia this confession and END
70 our ONCE, II 70 be forwarded after perusal.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
Mr.. woerIshofrer,s Niece.

The following bit OF gossip Is cleaned by the
cuo man OF the Chicago NHi: "The New
York Stock Exchange member hip which was
recently bought by Maurice Rosenfeld for
$4,000 and which was delivered 10 him only
on Thursday, belonged to young man who
was member think, OF the firm of Walsh
Hackman, at New York. Woershoffer, the
millionaire, and the biggest operator left now
IN the street, is a special partner in that
house. good deal Of its income comes from
the commissions that the big operator pays
INTO It, The young fellow who once owned
that membership had been paying his
addresses to a niece of Woerishoffer
and was engaged to ne married. Because of
his expected relationship the millionaire put
the young man into that firm, bought a Stock
Exchange seat which cost about $50. 600 and
presented it to him. But the young people
didn't get along. 1t is the gossip that she
had habit Of referring great many times
TO her uncle, TO her own position. fnd the IN
Vulnerable obligations under which he ex-
isted. The young man couldn't stand it. He
politely gave up the lady. He rendered Mr..
WoerishOfer his membership. He got out Of
the hrm. He said, as If in SO many words:
Here's your niece, here's your mem hership.
and here's the rest of the traps. I can't
stand EN-" He is said, too, to be a very good
fpllort- 81
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

A bold attempt was made last Thurs
day at Albany, n. Y, to use the knights
of Labor organization tor an illegal pur-
pose. There are pending before the Leg
islature Of that State two bills bearing
upon street railroads in New York City.
One repeals the Broadway Surface rail-
way franchise and the otner prevents AL
dermen OF cities from giving away valua-
BILE street railway franchises. Seven men,
pretending to be a committee of the
knights Of Labor ald to be authorized to
speak for that organization, went
to the capitol and demanded to
City. The Senators met them
in a committee room. The committee
was insolent, and threatened the Sena-
tors with defeat at the polls at the next
election ii they did not vote against both
bills. They said that the whole influence
and power Of the Knights of Labor would
be thrown against anyone who should
favor the bills. AS the situation appeared
to be rather grave, the Senators appointed
another meeting with the committee, and
in the meantime busted themselves
in finding out whether it
was composed of genuine knights,
and whether it was authorized TO bull
doze the Legislature. A little inquiry
convinced them that while the men were
knights they were acting without any
authority, aud that they were in all prOba-
bility in the pay of capitalists who were
interested in having the bills in question
defeated. When they met the knights
again they were able to read them
lecture, and to invite them out
of the capitol in way that was more en-
phatic than polite. This little incident is
useful in showing that unless the great
est care Is exercised by the Knights OF
Labor in granting admission to their Or
gauization men are likely to get control of
it who will use it for selfish purposes and
make it an instrument OF destruction in
stead of protection.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

FFOHt JHe Bo8tOn Herdld lInd.)
senator Beck Oftentimes illustrates the pro-
verbal incapfcity of his Scottish race TO APP
preclate quickly the humor Of a saying or a
situation. We're it not for this pecaharitv on
ms rt the Senator would hardly oppo he
conlirm9tion OF Mr.. Trenholm as Comptroller
Of the Currency, for the reason that this gen.
lleman mas been "viOlent in asserting his Opn-
IONS ana lntolerant OF the views of others" in
discussing the silver deluslOn. Anything
more violent or intolerant than Senator
Becks assault upon the administration. upon
TINS question, has not been heard at Washing
ton this ear. And il Is very funny that he
should object to the calm and philosophical
paper OF Mr.. Trenholm in regard to it.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
Pasteur,s RussIan PatIents

PdriS LetteF 10 LO7bton Standard.
/ was with NJ. Pasteur to-day at the Hotel
Dieu TO see the Russian patients there. The
woman who the day before Yesterday had
gwen cause for uneasiness was to-day going
on WELL She is the sweetest tempered heinz
imaginable. One of the four men, Peter Ivan
on, was cause of uneasiness. He seems
threatened with erysipclas. This man is the
only one OF the Russians at the Hotel Dieu
whose face is not dreadfully mutilated bu'
his hand was gnawed. II and his arm form
continuous sore. The other three were as'een
when we entered the ward, and on being
awakened sat up with alacrity and
apolOgIzed for having been dosing. one
Of them Is witho a nose or evp-
brows. Another has lost a whole upner
lip lie ls priest and is unable to eat. Tho
third has lost half Of his upper ana under lin
and the fourth the upper part OF his left
cheek. They are all injured in the hands.
arms and body. NJ. Pastenr, when / was re-
peaiing to him the sym ptoms which the Irish
man Garvey described TO me. aud which no
said he began TO feel after he had been tbrae
weeks bitten, but which he did moi feel Ia
day, said they were the creations Of "a neryous
state OF mind. Garvey be looked upon ms safe
whether inoculated or not, because ne ,,-as
bitten through thick trousers ami thick stock
ings. Terror Of rabies often broke down tho
nervous system and induced -ymutoms mis-
taken sometimes for rabies. During incuha.
tton there were never bad symptoms until tho
disease burst out like a temue-t
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
Should be- Hapnv stII1.

WON NE FhflndelDhi1 NelDs lRep.)
mere IA no reason under the sun why Mr.
Bialne should be hostile 10 senator Logan.
pretitiOn of senator Iop9n' sDeech couId
come only from enviou4 enemies who are OPP
posed TO both Blaine and Logan. Senator
Lpgans frank and manly speech settles the
nize Nr. Blaine. on the other hand. Mr.
Bl ines friends know that he has made no
attempt to injure Gen. Logan.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

From the PhiladelD6ja Recoyd fDem.)

PROM tho PbiiddelDhia Record Dem.)
There is species of lizard in California
Wnlch is furnished with detachable tail.
When it is closely pressed nv The pursuing
Dlrq mat preys upon it, the tail goes one way
aud the lizard another. The bird in ifs per-
pleNlly' dividing the swift mind which way to
oIoW' gets left. Since his trWtless camp tign
against the President. Brer Edmunds must
WI he was a California lizard
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
COngressman an smals Sat Upon.

rum bfte AcD lOrE heTUF0s
Interest ceutered at the Senate end of the
capitol to-day. Nothing happened IN the
House during the session, but there WAS quite
scene just after the iutermission, about
halfpast 4 O'CLOCK. A bill had been discussed
during the afternoon to retire Gen. Hunt (al-
ready retired as q Colonel, with the ad-
vanced grade of Brigadicr General. "Why
dis you shut me out from expressing my
vows IN opposition 10 Gen. Hunt?" savagelv
demanded cOlOred Congressman Small. Of
south Carolina, addressing Mr. Laird. of Ne
braska, as he emerged from the cloak room.
II want YOU to understand, sir, that l was
in seventeen battles and have nv
own opinion about Gen. Hunts
bravery" You make a mistake my friend,
in addressing me in that way" retorted Con-
gresham Laird. l do It care what your
opinions are on the subject, / know all about
Gen. Hunt. and approve OF this bin in every
respect. He was brave man." mo, he was
not" quickly retorted the cOlOred member.
II know as much about war as you do. Isaw
Gen Hunt order his men to fire on people of
my race" "Then thev must have been fight
ing on the wrong side" was the excited reply
Taking his colOred brother energeticaly 6v
the lapel OF his coat, Mr.. Leird continued
speaking of war: II have five bullet holes
and a sabre cut in my carcass. l, too, know
something about battles and don't require
any man from South Carolina to instruct
me -
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

"Oh, kiss me and 60"
SAID the maid of my heart,
And proffered her lip
As hint to depart
'"The midnight pproaches,
Ny mother will know.
NJ kindest and dearest.
Oh, kiss me and 60"
She gave me the blessing
In such a sweet way.
The thrill Of its pleasure
Enticed me to stay;
So We kissed till the morning
Came in with its glow,
For she sad every moment,
"Oh, kiss me and 60"
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

Russell sago has at last been accepted
as bondsman of the Western Union
telegraph Company in the Goodsell ap-
peal case in New York. Russen's iudg-
ment as to his own responsibility has
beer yiudicated.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

An exchange thinks G. p. Huntington
very pious man because he keeps two
Sundays every week. There must be
some mistake about this. II ne rests two
days a week he disobeys the command to
labor SIX dlvs.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

senator Vance is sscknowledgea to be the
greatest joker IN Congress. That is the
reason So many people are disposed to
smile when he says civil service reform
is a humhur.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

The report that Senators Logan and
Teller had "a cursing bee IA the cloak
room Thursday turned out TO be an April
day hoax. If Logan can stand all the
ridicule and jokes which he is being sub
jected to, It may be almost suspected that
he has some of the elements Of greatness.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
INVALIDS

need medicine that will act gently and does
not weaken. SIMMONS LIVER REGT9
LATOR Is not only mild in its action, but in.
Vigorating like glass of wine, giving
strength and tone to the body.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
2f1rDtraI.
BUSINESS MEN.

Merchants and those engaged in Office uork
are inject to dyspepsia, a feeling of despopd.
ency amt restlessness, all caused bv a dc
ordered liver or stomach. SIMMONS TTVFF
REGULATOR removes these causes bv es
tabishing good digestion and no interfeT.
ence to business while taking it.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
CURRENT COMMENT.
sugge.tlon to ..Blael Jack. y

EF0tH NC FHIta3elphi1 Times lInd.l
II senator Logan could only induce Geron-
imo TO stand mp the senate gallery his army
pltl "ould probably pass. An army OF 25,00O
men which cannot capture and mold half
dozen braves and score OF squsws needs an
Increase or change OF some kind or another.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

People are fond of being humbugged,
and hence it is not strange that the gran
gers find it so difficult to suppress the
fraudulent sale OF bogus butter.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
A HOME REMEDY

Unequalled by any other. The Regulator is the
best preventive and preparatory medicine
No matter what the attack, dose of it will
afford relief, and in ordinary cases will effect
a speedy cure. It's use for over half a cen.
tury by thousands of people have endorsed
it as
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

The Philadelphia Nelgs has advanced
fits price TO PC. The NeScs is live paper,
and if it is rather radical in politics, it is
worth the money.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

From the Ae10 Orleans States.
A healthy Kansas gIrl has discovered a wav
to prevent hydrOpnobla which is guaranteed
never to miss fire, and is 80 simple that it VIII
be sure to recommend itsnlf to the civilized
nations of the world. 1t appears that a little
dog belonging to the Kansas young woman
went mad, and with look in his eyes as green
as an early cucumber, commenced howling
and swapping at everything in sight. Instead
of following he example of the other mem
bers of the family, and hurredlv hunting for
a high rOOst, the brave and buXom Kansas
Ia picked up large washJub and stood her
ground, and when the ihfuriated dog
came raging toward her she quietly capped
the tub over him and then sat down on
the bottom Of it, and allowed the mad canine
to whlrl around inside while she coDllv ar
ranged her front hair. The Kansas girl was
Of solid weight and broad Of beam, and the
smOthered hOwls and constant thumping in
side the tub did not make her the least bit
nervous, because she knew that as long as she
kept her seat there was no earthly hope for
the dog. She continued to sit on the tub nm .
til some of the neighbOrs came to her assist
ance. when a hole was bored in the side. a
pistol barrel inserted, ana the dog killed The
admirable nerve and presence OF mind Of the
Kansas girl has enabled her to demonstrate in
very satisfactory manner the efficacy of a
washtub as preventive of hydrophobIa, and
the world should profit by her discovery.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
WORKINGMEN

afford to lose time in taking violent purga'
tives that will cause them TO lay OF SIM.
MONS LIVER REGULATOR can be taken
without causing loss of time and 1t will build
up the system even while at work
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

1t Is almost time for Geronimo to m axe
his weekly surrender again. His regular
ration day Is drawing near.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

London TrUth doesn't always know lust
exactly what the truth is. The other day
1t reioieed TO announce that Bonanza
Mackay had just been elected to the
United states Senate. II such bunder
had appeared IN the London Times il
would only have been considered an in.
stance in which the English swells de.
lighted TO air their blissful ignorance OF
American afalrs.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04
The FauItIeSS Family Medicine.

None genuine except with the D
Stamp in red, on front of Wrapper,
and the Seal and Signature of j. H.
Zeilin & Co. on the side.
Savannah morning news., 1886-04-04

Senator Beck carefully preserves the
silver brick presented to him by the Mon
tana miners. He never wears it IN his
hat