davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Conmon-sense shoes.

New York Letter.
There is run on what is called ''com-
mon-sense shoes in New York, and half
the adult ladies and more than half the
young ones are wearing them. But they
are common-sense only as to their heels.
They have pointed, corn-producing toes
and narrow soles. The leading dressmak-
ers and shopkeers in town who have been
interviewed about other commOn-sense gar
ments, such as the chemiloon, the skirt
suspender and all the other muchtallHed-of
improvements in the dress of suffering
woman, all declare that there is no sale for
these garments except to cranks, school
misses and opera singers.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
He Wanted Maternal Care.

She was not young. but she had money.
Dearest" he began, but she stopped
him.
~ anticipate what you are about to say.
Mr. Sampson" she said. land l would
spare your feelings, for it can never, never
be. l esteem you highly and will be a
81 have four sisters already" he replied
bitterly, four grown sisters, and life is a
hideous burden. But oh, Clara" he went
on passionately, IF you cannot be my
wife, will you not give me mothers pro-
tecting love? l am an orphan"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
A Buck who Knew the La w.

Grass Valley (CaL) Tidings.
Il was standing in an open space, when
a big six-pronged buck walked leisurely
toward me and looked me all over. He
was not alarmed in the least, and was as
cool as a cucumber. / tell you deer have
sense. That buck knew that he was under
protection of the law so far as regular
sportsman was concerned, and he knew by
instinct that l am sportsman. He was
true game and splendid specimen of his
kind. After he was satisfied with his ex-
animation of myself he Strengthened out
his neck and took long breath as if he
were seeming some pleasant Odor, and,
being satisfied with the breeze, he struck
out at a love-running lope toward a covert
by the side of stream. where he no doubt
found some lady acquaintance Of his circle
of society,""
weren't you tempted?'
'Well, no-and besides that 1 had such
condemned small shot in my gum"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
SIZE Ep.

glorious tide, o hospitable tide,
On whose moon-heaving breast my head hath
lam,
Lest ], all eased of wounds aud washed of
stain,
Through holy hours be yet unsatisfed
Loose me betimes! for in my soul abide
Urgings of memory, and exile's pain
Weighs on me as the spirit of one slain
May throb for the old strife wherein he
died.
On golden footed shadows, from the sea,
From dark, from dreams, to each eXultant
day, wee
Oh, speed me! Swooned an outworn king
Whom swart Phgacians shoreward bore; and
me,
Thy loving healed Greek, thou, too shalt lay
Beneath the olive boughs of mine own isle.
Louise Imogeni Quincy in Atlantic Monthly.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
meiranok in Place of voIapuk.

London Figaro.
Having recorded the breaking up of the
Volapuk society and the consequent failure
of the Volapuk as universal language. it
is but fair should announce that the void
thus created has been already filled. The
nrofessor-a Russian one this time-has
FASTENED to proclaim that he has invented
universal language which is likely to do
what '.Volapuk" failed to effect. This
new tongue, which is called 'Mellanok. is
not to be altogether spoken language,
however: it is to consist to certain extent
of signs, too, while, acting on Swift's
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Wine That PrOcastinates.

Atlanta Constitution
The trouble with the domestic wine that
has supplan.ed whisky in Atlanta is its
representation. 1t puts off till tomorrow
the drunk it should bring to-day. Few
things were quicker on trigger than the
whisky with which Atlanta was wont to
whoop herself up. 1t makes you drunk
with promptness and eXactness. The do
nestle wine, On the other hand. is vague
and uncertain. you don't know when to
take it on" said moderate drinker; IF
you load up on Saturday it is just as apt as
not to tangle you up in church Oh Sunday.
l comprehended bottle the other day. and
went to dine with my wife's mother the
next day. Don't you think, the fool thing
took hold of me right there, and had to
prop myself to keep from sliding under the
table. When man loads up with this do
nestle wine he oughtnt to make an engage
ment until he has had his drunk out. 1t
may want week, but it is dead sure to
trip you before it gives up"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

fluence had the desired effect, and the girl,
with tears in her eyes, said she was willing
to take the young man for her husband.
The papers were then filed out and the
parties left the Office. The couple were
married shortly afterwards.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
All Were as Good as the Best.

1t was small, weakened, long nosed
boy, with eyes like two very small and dark
holes burned in brown blanket. who,
bending under an enormous load of feather
busters, invaded the historians apartment
yesterday.
''Fayder dohsters," said he, ''nyshe vones;
oshtridge fayders, turkey fayders, only
dirty-five cents and hollaf -a-dolar."
well, which are the best ones-the
ostrich or the turkey?"
''Oh. dem oshtridge is de besht vones. of
course, but dem turkeys is yoest so good as
de oshtridgesw
He sold the turkeys" of course.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
A Grateful Waiter.

New York Sun.
Gentleman Ito wife after leaving restau-
rant(-The waiter seemed very grateful for
the liberal tip 1 gave him.
Wife (sententiously)-Very.
Gentleman-Did you overhear what he
whispered to the waiter at the adjoining
table?
Wife-Yes. part of it.
Gentleman-What was it?
Understanding about fools and their
money soon parted.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Seeking Free Advice.

New York Sun.
"Dockder," he said, casually. to physi-
clan whom he met on the street, ''Pve got
a bad cod in my head. Whad would you
advise me to do?"
And the doctor, who doesn't give some
thing for nothing when he can help it, re-
piled:
II would advise you to buy a dozen
pocket handkercliefs and then consult a
physician"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Getting Some satisfaction.

New York Sun.
whats the matter, Bobby?" inquired
his mother, as the boy flounced into the
nursery.
'.Pa sent me out of the Library c-cause
/ made too much n-n-oise."
Il hope you didn't say anything rude to
your papa?"
Mono" replied Bobby, who knows bet
ter than to be rude to the old man, but I
s-slammed the door,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Good Cause for Alarm
Pittsburg acknowledgement.

Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
First Anarchist Gust shown to his room
in the hotel )-Gotlieb, for heavens sake
come here. What is that strange substance
on the dressing case?
Second Anarchist trembling must be
a new kind Of bomb. The capitalists are
plotting to destroy us. Let us fly!
First Anarchist Let us question
the rascally landlord. (Rings bell.)
Landlord Gin response to excited in
quiries)-That, gentlemen, is ball of
soap.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Tale of BAD Luck.

Pittsburg Dispatch
Hunting yesterday. eh?" Kill any
thing?"
''No. got disguised and came home
early"
''What was the matter?"
dropped my flask on stone and broke
it, after I'd got five or six miles into the
woods"
Your powder flasks2"
Powder flask! No. I guess you don't
go hunting much, do your
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Passed Out Of N ind.
Brooklyn Eagle.

DTOOkIyI EdSIt.
Stranger-And what is that large build
ing on the opposite corner? Guide-That?
Oh. yes; why, that's IA skating rink.
Stranger-A skating rink? And for what
is it used? Guide-It isn't occupied.
Stranger-For what purpose. then, was it
erected? Guide-Blowed if l know. I
don't think ever heard.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
A Light Matter.
Hd-Bits.

T1d-Bits.
Merchant-Have we received the last
months gas bills?
Clerk-Yes, sir.
Merchant--WelI. what is the total charge
of the light brigade?
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

be down there in a few minutes, and re-
quested him to feed Sc to it and charge the
same to my account. l then dismissed the
dispenser of books with an imperious wave
of my right hand. He went out with
calm. undisturbed cOuntenance, which was
probably due to the fact that / had neglected
to lay the stump of my cigar on the desk
within reaching distance of him.
The months dragged slowly along and
bolstered this Individual up with silver
dollar every four weeks, for nearly two
years, when l found that the biographer
had only reached Van Buren,, and at
this rate / concluded that the books
would continue to come long after
had filled paupers grave. and my chill
dren and grandchildren would find them
selves tied down with al obligation sad
died upon them by their low-browed an
ceStor. l began to be out the day that
expected the man with the books, but he
would skip that day and surprise me, and
would have to pay. Finally said 1 was
going to Europe and wouldn't be around to
take the books. He said: ''Give me your
address, and we will send them to YOU to
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
The First Bill Allowed.

New York Sun.
''Maria," said her father, "William asked
me for your hand last night and l con-
sented."
"Well, pa, that's the first bill OF mine
you haven't objected to-"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
The WayIshe settled 1t.

New York Sun.
$50 you have broken off with Mr.. Smith"
said Maud well, 1 never could make
him out"
Il found him good deal of conun-
drum MYSELF replied Clara, 80 gave
him uno
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

she will be followed by other ladies high
up in the social scale. Before the winter
is ended it is probable that the entire down.
stairs portion of our theaters will be a sea
of hatlesS heads,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
Didn't Think 1t Advisable.

New York Sun.
"Wont you give my new play good
puff" asked an author of dramatic critic.
Il hardly think it would be safe"
''Why not?"
swell, it's so weak that puff would
blow it to pieces"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

1t is whispered here that a number of
he leaders of society have been in consul
tation lately over the question of wearing
hats and bonnets in the theater. So much
comnlaint has been made that these ladies
have determined to take some positive steps
looking towards removal of the nuisance.
Mrs. Cleveland was spoken to about the
matter. and gave the project her emphatic
and hearty indorsement She has promised
tn remove her hat while at the theater, and
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
A Serious Affair.

.'Were you ever engaged in a duel. Col.
Blood?"
Yes, sab. was. sah."
s'Did it terminate seriOusly?"
'.Yes. sab. L was arrested and fined
SO. Sah.o
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

notion-which he develops in one of his
Laputan voyages-many words and phrases
are to be expressed by means of series of
symbols which the speaker of "Mellanok"
will carry about with him. The published
information is not very definite, but, so far
as I can make out, those arbitrary symbols,
which will express the most general of
mans wants and desires, will consist of
a number of pieces of carved bone, to be
strung like beads on thread, So that, in
opening up conversation, two speakers of
''Mellanok" would at once produce their
word rosares. and, instead of telling their
beads. make their beads. or rather their
carved bone equivalents. tell their story.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

for he began to
pound the door in.
and bound to outwit
him, l grasped a rope
lying in the corner,
threw it over a beam,
climbed into a chair,
slipped the moose
around my neck,
smiled triumphantly
and. singing that
beautiful hym n.
"This is the way 1
long have sought, "
swung off inst as the
in sta ment plan
broke down the door
and walked in. He
came slowly towards
me, pulled his knife
be rope and l fell to
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

of a cigar that had carefully laid on the
desk. l came up somewhat groggy but
soon recovered sufficiently to read the slip
of paper that lay before me on the desk,
and l found that had agreed to take The
Lives of the Presidents of the United
States on the installment plan of 81 per
month so long as the United States had
president to be lied about
Three months slipped quickly by, with
no particular change in the bill of fare. and
the gentleman with case Of talk and his
books had disappeared from my mind, when
one day inadvertently left the door open
and he glided in. and dropping half dozen
books on my desk he said in staccato
style: ''SiX dollars, please" My heart
was stirred within me. and / arose from
my chair looking at him in a cold, stony
way. But he didn't grovel at my feet. He
didn't seem to be well supplied with grovel.
He simply wiped his nose on the ceiling
and unfolding his index finger. pointed it
at the pile of books and said: six dollars,
please; installment plan. You remember.
Cheapest way TO get library on earth"
YES said l, ''but how will l lay up
treasures in Heaven if l blow myself in TOR
books on earth?"
''Sell your library" said he, ''the value
of these books increases as they grow old.
By the time you get to, heaven they will be
worth couple of million dollars volume"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

" oANs -
replied in a
weak voice,
and walked
over to the
S pc a XII n g
tube. l whist
led down to
the cashier
and told him
that a we'll
d re S S e d A..
SnlOoth-faced
install linen |
plan would
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

Didn't Want the whole Family.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
''Young man," said the stern parent to
the applicant for his daughters hand, s,are
you sure you can support a family?"
I'll wasn't m-making any calculation
on that" stammered the young man: ~
only want the girl, you know.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

catch me that Time. Two weeks were
dragged along, and my wife would ask me
what made me look so round shouldered,
and why my eyes had such restless, un-
easy look about them. l told her 1 was
haunted. She uttered scream and sent
for the doctor to have me adjudged insane
but l bribed him and he allowed me to con-
tinue to be haunted. One dav sat at my
desk writing, when heard the well-known
rap at my door. 1t maddened me and 1
yelled: BE gone, thou caitiff with
moth-eaten heart, thy poster
ing presence long ago knocked
the throne from beneath my reason and L
now shake defiance in thy face. l long
ago drew my salary in advance to satisfy
thy hungry nav. What more woulds't
thou. TuSh, tush, l cry thee tush"
He must have armed himself with an AK,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

any part OF the world. "
This scheme failed and
j went around haunt
ed; haunted by an i'll
stallment. At last l
grew desperate. One
day l heard a knock at
my door. l peeked
through the key-hole
and recognized the
raiment of the book
agent. l kept quiet,
but he must have smelt
me, for he didn't let
up, and pounded at the
door until L thought it
would come down. l
got scared, and jump
ing through a window,
got onto the fire escape
and made my way to
the ground. He didn't
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
a Man Who Sells Books on the Install
ment Plan Makes a Successful
Call.
He Dilates on the Advantages of His
Scheme and the Value of His
Books.
He Confidently Says That They VIII
Increase in Value as Time
Rolls By,
And Buying Them is the Same as
Laying Up Treasures In
Heaven.
No. 7 WEST FOURTH STREET.

Dear Boy: l have just
life enough left, after the
most exciting foot-race of
my life. to give you a few
words of advice on a
subject that will be
worth to you at least 81
per month in advance.
There is a man with a
transparent face and bur-
glar proof gall drifting
around this part of the
country. with a cool. in
different drift and a book
under his arm. If he
approaches you you will
identify him by the cross
eyed smile that he hangs
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

the floor in heap. Bending tenderly over
me. he looked into my azure orbs and with
calm. sweet smile he murmured. lone
dollar, please"
Yours with abated breath,
TUn Az~7,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

States" The man
reviewed the book
fol- me carefully and
1 listened spell
bound. watching for
an opportunity to
say, Don't want
it," but he gave NE
no opportunity. and
at last L signed a
paper in a daZed
sort of a way, and
the man went out
with a gratihed
smile and the stump
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26

out on his face Just prior 10 sinking MS
fangs into the arteries of his victims. Load
yourself with a pair of broadaXes-the
hungriest. most unfed ones that you can
find-aDd when he approaches you chop
him. hack him. mutilate him in the most
cold blooded manner, for he eats pie Win
his knife and don't love sacred history.
Some two years since this two-legged
phantasmagora strolled into my Office and
seated himself in my easy chair. where he
remained until | came in. He met me
with a smile and hearty hand-shake, and
when had seated myself on an empty nail
keg. which was the only empty chair in the
room. he pulled from beneath his coat a
book. a thin, square book, upon the cover
of which were printed these words, 1.-The
Lives of the Presidents of the United
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23
THE SMALL THINGS OF A DAY.

THE SMALL THINGS OF A DAY.
Minor Occurrences I'm and About the
city Briefly Put.
Tooth filling made painless by the use
cocaine by 8. Il. Mason, dentist, 218 Four.aId
a.half street northwest,
Ladies' we have the best line ofsl50 opera
slippers in the city; BoX-Toe and Common
Sense. Mrs. w. H. Rich. III Market Space.
Samuel Lynn's stable, on the Conduit road,
was destroyed by fire on Saturday morning.
Louis Rumpf, charged with embezzling three
rugs from his employer, Thomas Raedy, was
Smell.
Charles Beck has answered the bill for di.
yorce filed against him by Sidney Beck, aud
deries the charges of adultery made, pro-
nounoing them untrue.
Mr.. w. d. Davldge, OF this city, has rur.
chased the mansion and grounds on Washing
ton street, Alexandria, adjoining the Mount
Vernon Cotton Factory for $1,000.
william Betters colored, was given thirty
days in jail yesterday by Judge Smell for steal
Ing " worth OF harness; III do you worse
as he went down.
II. p. Gilbert is the lowest bidder for furnish.
ing Tiprap stone for the Potomac river i'm.
pTovemcnt, and Rittenson, Moore Il Co., Of
Mobile, are the lowest bidders for excavating
100000 cubic yards from the Washington cham
mel.
Ephraim Bailey shot his pistol OFT In n
house on Maryland avenue to attract the at
tCntiOn of the police to quell a disturbance.
Officer Harlow. quelled Bailey's efforts by ar
resting him. Judge Smell yesterday made the
shooter shoot So bill out before he let go.
"What Kind Of Religious Instructions should
be Given In the Nursery, and How Early
should II COmmenCeg' This is the subject OF
Mrs. Louise Pollock's next Wednesdays free
which all are invited.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23

News travels fast, and the word is
getting around that we commenced
our holiday prese ntation of Water
bury Watch and Chain.
The present is given to every
Cash Purchaser of Goods Account
ing to SI2 and Above. Not a watch
for every twelve dollars bought
that we could not aford-but with
every purchase exceeding this limit,
whether it be fift'en or fifty dollars.
The cost of the watches is but a
small percentage on the average
amount of the sales; hence the adj
vertisement is less expensive to us
than at first might appear.
1t will be a pleasure to make
so many boys happy, and a Water
bury is not beneath the notice of any
man not Possessed of a time-piece.
They are first rate watches, If our
prices seem high after you have
bought an article, you know there
is no difficulty about having your
money refunded upon return of the
article, uninjured. That's our way
of guaranteeing our Prices to be as
low as those asked anywhere for
goods Of equal merit.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23
Lodge Meetings Tonight.

The following lodges meet tonight at the
places named:
Masonic--Federal, No. l. Masonic Temple;
Ne Nolay Commnndcry No. 4, Masonic TEN.
plc AcHCin, No. Is, Masonic Temple; Potomac
], o. q. E-WushingtOn, No. g. Odd Fellows
Hall: Golden Rule, No. n, Odd Fellows Hall.
i. u. stuart, MOI Encampment odd Fellows
Hall.
Knights of Pythias-Dccatur No. 0, High
street. Georgetown; Excelsior, No. II, Penn
sylvania avenue and Ninth street northwest;
GCrmania, no. 10, Coz street northwest; Oc-
casa, No. is, coo c street northwest; Webster,
No. :, Vernon Hail, New York avenue and
Seventh street northwest.
/. o. of R.-AnacoStia Tent, No. 1873, Haynes
Hall, Auncostia: Capital Tent, No. Sc, Nc.
Cnuley's Hall, 200 Pennsylvania avenue south.
10. G. T-Minnehaha, No. ], Hrton's Hall,
Seventh and d streets northwest: Morning star /,
No. 3, Veterans Hall, i street, between Ninth
and Tenth streets northwest; Clements, No. o,
Washington Hall, Pennsylvania avenue and
Third street southeast.
Knights of the Golden Eagle-Monsrch Cas-
tie, No. 2, Bunchs Hall, 81 Eighth street
northwest.
American Legion Of Reconsideration Coun.
GILL No %, HiltOn's Hall, Seventh and d streets
northwest.
J. o. Of r. M-senecn Tribe, No. II, X. of P.
Hail. Thirteen and.a.half and streets north.
west.
Junior Order United American Mechanics
Western Star, No. 6, CroplCy's Hall, Thirty.
first and NJ streets northwest.
10. M-Columbia, No. /, Grand Army Hall
corner Seventh and streets northwest.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23

Tho passenger department Of the Pennsylya.
MIA failrCad announce for Thauksgivlug re.
ductd rates between Washington and Bait.
more Excursion tickets vill be sold on Nov.
- and %, good TO return until Nov. ~, inclu-
sive. TO Baltimore at 81 co; half tickets for
Children between the ages of aud ~ years,
30 cents. The train service Of the Baltimore
and Potomac b. tween Washington and BalH.
more Is unrivalcd, being eighteen fast express
trains in both directions. With the low rates
advertised, no doubt a great many will visit
Baltimore on Thanksgiving day.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23

A test Of the Eclipse machine will be given
al corner of Tenth and b streets northwest, 1880
p m to day. The Eclipse has been officially
Endorsed and adopted by the Standard OIL
of Chief Paris, of the District of Columbia fire
department, who will attend the test. j. W.
ST. Clair, IT,, 1ll2 street northwest is agent for
Washington, ID. C.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23

Capt Jacob Gait, an old citizen, died yester.
day morning. He was born in Alexandria,
Va, and In early life sailed from that port for
many years. lie was a half brother of the
MCsSrS Gait the jewellers. The funeral will
take place from the residence of Mr.. VIM
Gait, 700 Ninth street this afternoon at o. clock.
National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-11-23

During the recess of Congress the House
press gallery has been put in thorough order,
and t he changes that have been made are great
Improvements. The walls and ceiling have
been newly painted the furniture reuphol-
stored, and new marble mautel and fireplace
have been put up in the cloak room.