The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-16
HOWLINa.

her palateY"
"Thank you, my DEAR" replied the
blushing bride, as her tluttering heart
thumped u symphony of bliss in B flat:
81 think 1 will have a slice of brciled
ham, a pork chop Dreaded and a picked
pigs foot III Gratin."
Glowing Rcbecca" murmured Mr..
Bernstein; and he hung his harp on the
willows Chicago Mews.
A PARTICULAR MAID.
Mary ~Coshinnegan Ito Bridget O'Tooli.
han)-Hav yez sane the new policeman
on this bate, Biddy, darlint?
Bridget O'Toolihan-Shure, an Oh
have not.
Mary Coshinnegan-It's an Elegant
man he is. Red hair, and a beautiful
black mustachc, irish from the BARRIERS.
He's too swate for onythin'.
Bridget O'Toolighan - How many
sthripcs on his slaves2
Mary Cashinncgan-Wan.
Bridget O'Toolihan-Wan? Shure,
an it's not Bridget O'Toolihan that wud
have onythin' to say to the loikes of q
policeman wild but one sthripe.
BECOMING ACQUAINTED.
"Mamma,' said q little girl to her
mother GIVE been getting acquainted
with the little girl next door"
"Have you, my dear? Well, how did
you do itT'
"Why, mamma, I dcs sot down and
looked at her, and then she des sot
down and looked at me-"
And then what did you do2"
Why, mamma, l des sot up closer,
and then she DIES got closer, amen I des
looked at her and smiled, and then she
dies looked at me and smiled, and then
we was atwainted.- Chicago Ledger.
WOULD GIVE IN.
An amusing story is told of Lady
Randolph Churchill and a Westminster
elector. Her ladyship met the elector
at dinner and asked him how he was
going to vote, and he replied that his
mind was not yet made up. ooh, then,
you must vote for Mr.. Burdett-C outts."
she said. "Well," said he, 81 cannot
promise. But if I were treated as voters
used to be treated by lady canvasscrs in
the old days in Westminster, 1 should
very possibly givein." ooh, thank you
so much. will let the Baroness know
at once" replied Lady Randolph, as the
ladies rose from the table.
A NEW EDITION.
Little Katie came into the library Just
as Uncle Arthur was finishing up a story
with which he was entertaining the
other children. ooh, tell it to me-"
Uncle Arthur HHoh, no." said jack
"uncle's tired. We're going to put him
to sleep now" Yes" announced
Harry. "You'vc come too late, Katie;
the edition is exhausted" Harper
Bu:ar.
PRACTICAL SYMPATHY.
Minister'S Wife (rather trying at tlmes)
How much did you get for perform.
ing that marriage ceremony this morn.
ing2
Minister-Two dollars.
Wife-Only two dollars?
Ministcr-Yes. The poor fellow said
he had been married before, and !
hadn't the heart to charge him more
han that.
FALSE CHILDREN.
|. Winnic's mother had been discussing
with Il caller the pros and con Of marry.
ing widowcrs who were supplied with q
stock of little ones. After the visitor
had gone, Winnie thoughtfully re-
marked: "Mamma, I don't know but l
should be willing to marry a widower
with false childrcn-lf they were hand
some. '-HMpe,'s Bazar.
HER FOOT IN 1T.
Fair and Would-bc Friendly Critic
(overhauling Smudgc's portfolio)-Oh,
this n is beautiful! The best of any
of them by a long way. What is the
subject2
Smudge (disconcertcd)- Oh-er-er--I
don't know. Fact is, I didn't paint that
one. It's by a friend of mine.-Judy.
DOTS AND DAsHEs
"BurToN parties" are becoming
popular in the West. We don't know
whence they derive their name, unless
it is because they're always sure to come
off.
A WHITE flag with a black square
means a ''cold wave" and a red flag
with q black square means a general
storm. A red flag means a cold day
for tho man whom the Sheriff is selling
out.
"WnY should the soldier never lose
his head in battle 2" said a German cap
he did he would not have any place to
put his cap on"
A POOR young man and lis poor
young wife get along very we'll with
their economy until the dry goods
stores begin to spread all over the news
papers. Then there's a break.
THE Pail Mall Gazette gives the fol-
lowing analysis of marriage: 'Do you
wish to be my wife, Mabel 7" said a lit
tie boy. eyes" incautiously answered