The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-01-08
THE POTEEN SMUGGLER'S WIFE.
Clever Method of Getting TO Market
with the Products of an Illicit Distil-

A man who was known to lave large
mountain farm and extensive homestead in
the hills was observed very frequently TO ride
into the town of B.; and he never made
his appearance without a woman, supposed
to be his wife, jogging steadily and upright
ly on pillon behind him. He was tall and
gaunt in look; she large and rotund, and
encountered, as is The mode of all country
wives, with multitude of petticoats. They
| always rode into the yard Oft man who kept
public-house, and before they alighted off
their horse the gate was carefully shut. 1t
was known, moreover, that the publican act
ed as factor for this farmer in the sale of his
butter; and so far as length of time things
went on in quiet and easy way, until one
day it so happened las indeed it is very COM
mon for idlers in very idle country town to
stand making remarks on the people as they
come by that the gauger, the innkecper, and
squlreen were lounging away their day,
when the farmer slowly paced by, with his
everlasting wife behind him.
Wei" says the squireen, "of all the wo-
men ever saw humping on pillion, that
lump of a woman sits the awkwardcst She
don't sit like natural born crathur Mt all.
And do you sec how modest she is? What
with her Tapped down beaver hat, and all the
frilIs aid fallas about her, not an inch of her
owl from out the ivy. have great mind
to run up alongside of her, and give her
pinch in the toe, to make old buckram look
about her for once"
Accordingly, no sooner said than DONE
He ran over to where the farmer was getting
on slowly through the market crowd aud on
the side of the pilion to which the woman's
back was turned, attempted to give sly
pinch but he might as well have pinched n
pitcher. Nor did the woman even lit up her
head, or ask" "Who is it that's hurting
me?" This emboldened him to give another
knock with his knuckles; and this assault
he found not opposed, us it should be by pet.
tcoats and flesh, but by what he felt to be
petticoats and metal.
This is queer" said the squircen. He now
was more bold and with the butt-end of his
walking stick he hit what was so hard bang
which sounded as if he had struck a tin poi.
stop here, honest man." cried the gau-
ger.
Let my wife alone, will you, before the
people!" cried the farmer.
mot till we see what this honest wo man
is made of" roared the gauger.
so he pulled and the farmer dug his heels
into his colt to get on but all would not do.
In the struggle, down came the wife into the
street; and as she fell on the pavement, the
whole street rang with the squash, and in a
moment there was gurgling us from burst
barrel, and a strong smelling water came
flowing all about, and fiat poor Norah lay,
there being an eruption of all her lntestines,
which flowed down the gutter as like poteen
whiskey, as eggs are like eggs. The fact was
that our friend from the land of Joyce had got
made by some tinkera tin vessel, with head
and body the shape of woman, and dressed
it out as proper country dame. In this
way he carried his darlnl behind him, and
made much of ner.