Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-13
BRIGHT BITS.

JOHN A. LOGAN is not the author of Eng.
llsh without a Master" but he is a capital
Illustration of it.-P~c6.
WE don't know anything about the Bava-
Ran Diet Committee, but if ito food is any
thing Like as good as It's beer, we trust IL may
wave ver.-IWck.
BEWARE of the young man who writes love
letters with type writer They may be die
lated, and if he dictates before marriage ne
Will boss terward.-Ph,LadelDhi Gail.
THE Congressional Record publishes nearly
every day long time table of trains leaving
Washington for all the principal points. And
yet Congressman do not seem TO take the hint,
-S0mer0iLe Journal.
SMITH saw you carrying home a couple
of nice looking waterinelOns last night,
Brown. How much did they cost you?
brown don't know yet. The doctor Is
up at the house now. -LjIe.
"HULLo. john What jolly dish! Pota-
toes, greens, carrots, beans! WHO'S IL for"
"Mr. BlnkS, sir"
sis Mr.. Blnks n vegetarian"
"Oh no, sir! believe he's Church of Eng
land"- Grdphic.
A MAN must not expect to live In clover
imply because he marrIes a grass widow
3 Ston Butlstin. The fellow who first called
hem grass widows must have been wo-
fuly color blind. They are anything but
Sreen.-DdnS0tUe Breese.
LITTLE GERTRUDE, fat, grave parsonage
Of ~ years, nau given her mother hug OF
unusual fervor. SAID the latter: "What
makes you love mamma so to-day, Ger
trude?" swell, mamma, 1 must make myself
agreeable. '-HdrDer'S Basdr.
A LEWISTON MAN cufed his wife the other
lay because she talked base ball at the tea
able. He then went out TO the lodge and bet
ven money on the Detroit Boston game
Such grinding monOpolIsts as he should be
5rushed.-Le10i stom( Ne.) Journal.
LULU's grandma, becoming impatient with
her noise, said to her: Lulu, you are a mis-
take; you should have been a boy."
Lulu was very thoughtful for a few min
ties, then gravely answered: "Grandma, God
don't make mistakes" -PAt1ddelDhia CaU.
IN the Police Court: Accused, you are
'harged with having permitted games of
nance to be played IN your establishment"
Games of chance! l must protest, your
iOnOr, against such charge. Why, there is
not gentleman there who does not cheat ~
'reRc3 Joke
IN Iowa, when a commercial tourist drops
his gripsack in hotel Of a prohibition town.
ne registers and asks: SIN which room did
YOU say | would find my letters?"
II will show you myself" says the landlord,
As they disappear upstairs.-Bricb POmer0yS
Democrat.
WHEN John Lord, the historian, was exam
med for ordination, he was asked by dlscl-
pie of DR.. Emmons: Are ven willing to be
tanned for the glory of GOd?" His answer
came with the force Of an unexpected cannon
hot: mo; but am willing you should" He
lid not get ordained. -SchOOI journal.
"YOUR husband was an estimabe man.
'1id Mrs. Blnks to a young widow; but
52u'll not mind my saying it, know-he had
no policy
"Oh, yes he had" responded the widow; "he
h al one, but the old fool forgot to pay up his
last premium and it expired two days before
ne died ."-Ihe Rambler.
MEEK LOOKING MAN, at horse tanners exhi-
uiton-It is wonderful how easily he obtains
the mastery and control OF the vicious ami
mails.
Meek looking mans wife-Isn't 1t? How
mother would enjoy this! l wish she was
utre.
Meek looking man, inst loud enough not to
be neard-So do l, and in the ring.-HGrpsr's
3 ear.
MRS. CLEvELAND's favorite flower is the
pansy, and one of the first requests that she
made OF the White House gardener was for a
bunch of these velvety blooms. The White
House conseryatOries are noted for producing
some of the largest specimens known of these
lowers, and when the season was at It's height
toward the latter part of May, it was not un-
usual TO obtain panslcs three and four inches
arge.- Washington critic.