The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-18
THE FEMALE CORRESPONDENT.


rained. dismally. desolately. petulantly peril
naciously rained until every individual house
holder has begun seriously to reflect upon his
habitations capacity as an ark, and his own re-
sponsibility in the matter of warning the peopla
1t has rained until Congress has become cholerie
and has taken to describing its honorabls mem.
bers as corner-stones of Sing Sing. Through
the discomfortable drizzle the Capitol looms IN
impressiyely sulky innumerable tears
chase each other down the sides
Of the Washington monument, and
even the commonly joyous note of the irrepressi
BILE little niger who pipes '.N'Yawk papev under
my window has become affected by the dampness
and the dolor, and dies away toward Pennsyl
vania avenue in a depressingly minor key. And
Secretary Manning is very. very sick never
saw Secretary Manning in my life. to be aware
of that privilege but the fact of his indisposition
combined with the prevailing lowness of atmos
pheric conditions aud the marked subdual OF
millinery in fashionable circles is inexpressibly
solemn, to say nothing OF Mrs Whitney's grand
mother. Now, Mrs. Whitney's grandmother
was doubtless an estimable old lady. / hope
may be distinctly understood as having abso-
lutely nothing against Mrs. Whitney's grand
uO5iieT cACSpb the LhCL Ol ubE u0tuiS0. m6E6ly
wish to point out that if there is an inopportune
moment to die in that is the moment which the
average grandmother invariably arranges fos
her taking off. 1t would have been quite as CON
venent, in the opinion of Washington society,
for this especial grandmother to complete hei
Zionward pilgrimage after Mrs. Whitney's mi
carreme ball. But she was no exception to the
accommodating rule.
Now that, in the language of my esteemed
conseurs the society correspondents the awhirl
a N a inp mo do md inn
matrons of the Washington elite" have retired
for the Lenten season within their pretty
cayxes. 1t occurs to me that an admirable op.
portunity offers for the inspection of the society
correspondents ourselves We are proverbially
modest and retiring lot 1t Is quite time that in
our literary and social aspect we should make
the acquaintance of the public. And now that
tho rament of Mrs. Plush, and the indiscretion Of
Mrs. Potter, and the manners of Mrs. MalaproF
and the couture Of Miss Cleveland have ceased
for the momenG to engage the interest Of thu
American people, the Washington correspond
ent may make her unobtrusive appearance un.
der the lens of public attention, with glory TO
herself and honor to her profession.
have in my minds eye the autocrat The auto
crat is a small person, with an umbrella. She
has seven 6axen curls on each side of her stern.
cut countenance, and her bonnet is invariably on
at wrong angle. | associate her with her UNI.
brella because have never seen them apart
At little distance indeed it is difficult to.sds
tinguish Them they are 80 much of a height
and their draperies are so similar. On windy
day it is impossible.
The Autocrat has a conscience as we'll as al
umbrella, and carries Ii almost as constantlY
Not for worlds would she sully professional honor
by calling cotton lace old point; $50 column
wouldn't tempt her into denominating scraggy
young woman from Kalamazoo 'Michigan'a
radiant belle.D She is simply invulnerable on
what she is pleased to term the verities of jour
nalism. I'm convinced she invented that phrase.
She is fond of paradoxes The Autocrat possessed
the largest and most hard worked vocabulary in
Washington which is saying an uncomfortable
lot. Her debutantes are really marvels of ad
jectival taste, but in doing up. statesmen she
is positively unrivaled. Their arching eyebrow
under which optics of various colors glow with
strange FIRE or scintilate with calm
scorn; their ivory complexions 70
which faint flush mounts anon.
chirography of q nations cares, are simply with
out parallel. True, the statesmen themselves
seem little uncomfortable under IL at times,
but that is natural to the modest representative
fresh from his native wilds, and the autocrat
steadily pursues the even tenor of her descrip
tive way and blandly smiles behind her spectas
Giles at all protestations. The autocrat may b.
termed the chief exponent of the realistic ia
this branch of journalism
think on the romantic school, and there
arises before me willowy maiden, whose PALE
elongated features express a constant striving
after an elusive intellectually that is narrowing
to behold have met the Autocrat and am
hers most obediently, but with this person !
have but a street-car acquaintance She is
feature of certain line to the Captoi,
most homogeneous feature I have always firmly
held the opinion, until now unexpressed, that
she ought to be carefully packed and shipped
from place to place A horrible, yet fascinating.
anticipation possesses me that some day, in some
especially vicious jolt, she will cracks
will not supplement this persons infections
of herself upon the public. Her strong point is
the toilet, and If you find yourself let into the
mysteries of symphony in blue, or .shar-
mony" in yellow, be sure it is she who indites.
| turn as to a tonic from this languishing litter
ateur to certain bright little odd little person.
age that know who embodies and buttons MP
the whole essence of feminine journalism in one
fectations about this small citizen, nor does any
social aspiration find room to grow
in her very practical BRAIN A dinner,
or lunch, or reception is to
her so much material, without which the society
reporter could not find subsistence. Her clever
composition is much "stuff, and her only aim
concerning 1t Is that it should pan out" we'll
when it is paid for at space rates. She has q
hard, bright. cynical way OF talking about things,
and her notebook Is as invariably a feature oI
her toilet as her fan on all occasions. / think
she has very ill-disguised contempt for every.
thing except the returns of her work. but she
takes pride that respect her for In swallowing
the pill without any of the amelioratng condi
lions or jam so eagerly sought Tor oy her sisters
Then there 10 the unknown quantity in Wash.
ington journalism. She may link in Senator'S
wifes sister, she may stalk abroad in the person OF
chief Justices aunt The sheet to which she con.
tributes may be the Weekly Imperialist, of New
York, or the Chronicle, of Trundle's Cross roads
She is proud of her ayocation, and the world
doesn't hear of it. But she is omnipresent, and
you can't fail TO DO introduced to her, and gel
your gown into the papers through an angel un-
awares. There is also the earnest person frouI
the far West, who despises conveutionalities and
wears one-button kid Gloves who subordinatea
the picturesque to the proper in her Minnesota
articles and whose views regarding decollete
costumes are pronounced. In marked contrast
TO her is the fippant demoisells who refers 70
Senator Ingalls, as the Kansas grasshopper and
talks disrespectfully of the chief executive from
the rear. Nor must we forget the Maphistophe-
han madam whose name is a symbol at which
all Washington trembles to its Utmost punch bowl
whose rage when she is not invited is only par