Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-03-25
Some Peculiar People.

The unattractive female person who
always thinks you are trying to fiirt
with her. Brush your lips with nap.
kin at a public table and she under.
stands that you are trying to scrape an
acquaintance-with her, of course. On
the street wipe the perspiration from
your face and she braces herself to repel
your advances. Jab your umbrella in
to crack and drop it-that means YOU
wish to know her; and as down goes
your umbrella, up goes her nose. Salute
friend across the street, and she will
catch that salute though she be block
out OF its range. She is always on the
lookout Give up your seat in car to
her or offer to raise the window at which
she is Juggling, and she knows what YOU
are up to and freezes you with a look.
Smile at witticism in your paper, and
like enough she will say something to
the conductor about lady's right to be
protected. Let us congratulate ourselves.
gentlemen, that she is an old maid. and
let us hope. for the peace of our fellows,
that she will not change her marital re-
lations with mankind.
The other creatllre-that one in men g
clothes-the scamp who really does ogle
ladies that don't wish to be ogled; you
can't always tell him at sight; he some-
times gets himself up almost like a
gentleman. You can scent him more
surely than you can sight him. He is
heavy with perfume. Otherwise he is
light. If his collar were not buttoned
to his neckband you would know him
when he stoops; it would slip off over
his head. But he isn't always bad
fellow to look at. Sometimes he is real
pretty, as young girls say If his father
is rich and he doesn't have to work. he
has all the more time to ogle the ladies
and say bah Jove' and commit sundrv
other misdemeanors that would be capt.
tai crimes if civilization had not gone so
distressingly far. If you really wish to
see him-though do not advise-vou
must come out of the theatre with a
lady on your arm. He will be standing
in the vestibule. He will look your lady
out OF countenancc and struggle with
his mustache. Don't strike him, he
breaks easy. Let him live; he makes a
good black background upon which to
display the whiteness of real manhood.
The railroad brakeman He, is a
genus. There are two remarkable
species of him---the brakeman on the
through train and the brakeman on the
suburban accommodation. You wouldn't
know they belonged to the same family.
The brakeman on the through train tells
you what TO do his brother on the
suburban train asks you what YOU would
like to do. One yells at you: Hi, there.
keep out of that cor, YOU; the other
smiles and lets you own the train.
Sometimes the company takes a brake
man off through train and puts him on
a suburban accommodation. The next
morning there is a string of suburban
travellers at the general superintendent
door when he comes to his office: and
after that the brakeman is changed
man. Specializing on this one NAV al
most perceive that the difference, after
all, is not in the brakeman. but in the
passengers. A through passenger is
not so likely to know his rights as a
daily traveller on a suburban train.
Brakemen may sometimes take advant-
age OF this. At any rate, brakemen all
say nobody else is SO mean us Sub
urban passenger. He is cxacting,
overbearing, pig-headed so says the
brakeman-and. besides, the general
superintendent always listens TO him.
The fact that the suburban passenger
won't be imposed on makes the suburb
an brakeman's life an irksome burden
to him; but the through brakeman-he
is harsh ruler, a despot, cruel, re-
lentless tyrant, who charges you so
cents for seat in the chalr-car, and
divides with the porter; who won't turn
your seat over unless you call him mister
and say please; who lets you live if you
keep very still and don't bother him.