News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-04-01
TERMS $3.50.
THEN AND NOW.

1hEN AMI NOWs
THEN.
When boy and when at school,
For fear of getting feeced,
With trembling limbs had to rise
To say my little piece.
NOW.
And now tremble Just the same,
But can this difference see,
The one that has the piece to say
Is wife instead Of me.
Troy Telegram.
AN UNSATISFACTORY EXPLANATION.
'AIr Featherly," inquired Bobby,
''what is meant by 'bee line'?"
ga bee line,' Bobby" explained
Featherly, with an air of crudition,
''means the manner in which bee flies
to its hive after it had loaded itself
with honey"
Bobby's face assumed an expression
of perplexed amazement.
"Then what did pa mean" 4" he asked,
by s'saxisg he never met YOU on the.
street that you weren't making q bee
line for some saloon?"-M 7. Sun.
FREE AND INDEPENDENT.
Mrs. Hendricks Ghe landlady)-Bless
me, Clara, look out of the window and
see who is ringing SO violently at the
door.
Clara-Why, ma, its Mr.. Dumley.
Mrs. Hendricks with sigh of relief
Thank goodness he has brought the
money to pay his back board or he
would never dare ring like that.
VERY SERIOUS.
Cincinnati Wife (reading the paper
i see that the city is threatened by a
water famine.
Cincinnati Husband (yawning)-
Ye-es2
Wife-And it is likely to advance the
price of beer
Husband (excited)-What's that
Let me see that paper.
THE REASON WHY.
''Papa," asked little three .year-old,
''why do I say short prayer and you a
long prayer3"
because you are not old enough to
learn a long prayer" explained the
father.
els that it9" I thought it was be-
cause I haven't got wicked enough yet
to say long prayer"
THE INVESTIGATION.
"You seem to take a great interest in
our Society for the Reformation of Dis
charged Convicts," remarked the presi-
dent of the institution to an Irishman
who had contributed five dollars.
81 do, indade, SIR"
"Ah! suppose you were never so un-
fortunate as to be a convict yourselfW
''Niver, sor, but have dear brother
who is New York Alderman and there's
no knowin' what his fate will be."-
Texas SJtings.
DOTS AND DAsHEs.
A MINNEAPOLIS congregation left the
church one Sunday because the minister
took his text from St. Paul.
"WHAT is an Anglomaniac" 1t is an
American who carries his umbrella in
New York when the cable announces
rain in London.
FLIPKINs was passing along the street
and saw a trunk outside the door of a
| dealer, bearing the legend, "This size
,for $40" 9 So do - said FliplSins.
| IT may lse that luck goes up and down
| the worldAcalling on men and women,
but the name has been spelled Pluck OF
| all of her cards that have come under
our eye.
GIVE just purchased diminntivt
saliva dog" observed Boston girl to {
friend. q A saliva dogl What sort o.
dog is that a' Why, one that is q
pure extract of Spitz."
A DELAWARE young man rode fifteen
miles through snow drifts to see his girl
A year after marriage he may refuse t.
90 down to the grocery, two hundred
yards distant, to buy mackerel TO
supper.
Two PERSONS came to a clergyman tt
have dispute settled. Each believed
the other to be in the wrong. After h
had heard them all through, he settled
it in this way: "Let the innocent for
give the guilty"
'Do YOU ever sweep under the bedP
inquired the head of the family, of he
Young domestic, while examining tn
spare room. :'Oh, yes, often. Its 81
much easier than dustpan, you know,
replied the servant.
A Coop Day for 'Em.-''What lucl
did you have fishing yesterday, Penny
bunker!" asked an Austin gentleman o
well-known impeouniouS character
who owes everybody. "Splendid! Will
I was out on the wharf twenty mel
with bills called at my house to collec
money"
'WB feel" writes a Western editor
"that an apology is due to Widow
Grimes. In our issue of last week VIZ
stated that she had eloped with OIL
eighteen-year man. The truth wa
that she was thrown from an eight-yea
old mare, which she was riding in
loop, and which slipped and fell. Mis-
takes will happen in the best regulated
newspaper offices, and we are confden
that when we state the item was sen
over a telephoneswire, no other apolog.
! will be needed"