Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-07-17

atH
campmeetin' Amt a circumstance to the
way they're karryin' On. When me an
,Lize KUN through Charleston q KUN
mity near sayin' Columbus) the other day,
they was Just a rarin' an q cussin' to
heat ANYTHING, and Lie said it minded
her of q lot of lunatiks. Lie got scairt,
an we left on the first bote. They wuz a
raisin' Ned, am ncne of 'em wuz q blessin'
YOU. Jim, tho why they shed cuss you
kant imagine. / tried to reason with one
of 'em, an thets the principal reeson why
/ kerry thet shade over my rite eye, an it
also is collateral evidence tibet my left ear
wuzn't chawed off by a wildcat.
Jim, / hev jest found out thet them
Bourbon Democrats are scairt; that's what
White says, but they couldn't be hat as
scairt if they heerd the crack o. down as |
was when / heerd Lie read that gosh
dinged expose" interviewed Redmond
Yesterday, an his experience was terrible.
He SAYS: THE gosh dinged reporter ought
10 be arrested for m~anslatter. / went out
and set ON the back fence, to git a little
fresh air, because 1 felt meaner than j.
I~scariot did, an l felt it wuZ q case nv
grounding with. the nomination for Con-
Gress, unless it can all be explained, an
tibet nobody seems jist ready to do. We
ought TO hey carried the State with all that
Doodle, the independent vote which was
10 get the offices, their Ohio editors and
trimmers, but now they all turn up their
noses to us. It's no use making any oilers
now; they'vel lost confidence III us IN won't
believe anything, if we'd swear to 1t. |
estimate we've lost at least ten per cent. OF
the respectable Republican vote, an that's
drayin' it mild, to say nuthin' OF them
G~reenbackers we wuz to gull SO butif1lly.
We must trSS an bring 'em all around
when the State Central Kommittee meets.
The Kommittee of Engagements will meet
in some secluded place, an the password
will be Doodle. The secret word 'kol-
umbus' has been changed TO Set 'em up
fur the damphOOls.' YOu be keerfui an
tell our fellers, an none others"
The kommitty which went to Ohio to
sandbag the Republican who Civ the snap
away hev jist returned an reported tibet
they brot back a gripsack full NV resolu-
tons nv sympathy passed by the Rump
Senate an Bob Kennedy's blesSin'. Them
Neill House fellers notifde me by grape
vine telegraf that we must send 'em that
Is pur sent of the DOODLE, or they wouldn't
karry on our campane fur us. lwuz mad,
an Jest wrote them to go to Sheol an see
if the TELLER they wuz lOokin' fur wuzn't
there.
lam goin' to Harrison kOunty in o few
days. l heer they're gittin' terribly down
on Nate Golf an threatened to burn Steve
Elkins-in so Confederate notes.
hev been thinkin Jim, tibet we'd better
hold our next cOnvenShun in Mexico,
Them greasers wouldn't understand United
States, an Nv course they wouldn't ketch
ON. What do you think NV my plan:
| We've got to fix on sum place where there's
no reporters. Gosh ding it, I'd give 'leyen
million dollars if we hedn't dun it!
Yours, cO~nfidenShully,
"ALECK ANTI-BOODLE."
PosTsKRIPT.-The report reserved from
TAYLOR kounty is discuraging. Them
blasted idyuts out there are hot in the
kollar because we left some of 'em out Of
the cOnfidenshul cOnclave. I'd jest like
TO kno how much Doodle we'd a had If we
he'd to divide with all the oils seekers,
Sum fellers is so inkonsiderate. An then
Judg Maxwell is mad, too; he was goin' to
get q conjunction again us .dividln' the
Doodle. but he's barred by the statute OF
busted by q cussed nuScpaper Teller"
7. S. THE2- won't hev time to write
you again fur 2 or 3 days, as hev to hoe
sum rutabagOs an hey II lot of %unansered
correspondence with other fellers nv Oul
krowd. BE very keerful of these .%letturs,
Jim. 4. A. y.