The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1886-11-20
ED HTHOR.

"CAN you speak Spanish, Miss
Stuckup?" "Well, no; not quite.
But can play the Spanish Dance on
the piano.
A WOMAN always tells a secret to
some one because she is afraid she
might die and then there would be no
one left to keep it.
"BY the way" exclaimed Smithers,
"have you two tives for 81 ten % 81
have" responded Jobson. "Then
lend me one Of them.-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
In the restaurant: "Garcon, are
you sure hat this fish is fresh ?" "Ah
monsieur, of that it is impossible for
me to say; | have only been in the
place a week. "-French Hit.
did you ever hear of the bolts of
Jove?" asked college student Of bis
matter-of-fact father. "No," was the
wondering reply. "Wbat was Jove-
a mugwump?" - Burlington Free
Press.
"CHANGE here" said the conductor
of the Pullman car. 81 snum, these
3roin rooms are expensive" said Mr..
Hayseed, thrusting his hand in his
pocket; 81 gave that darby half q
dollar not morn an hour ago. "-BOs-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
CTIzEN-I didn't think, Uncle Rastus,
that you would sell your vote for q
small amount CT money. Uncle
Rastus INDIGNANTLY didn't sell my
vote TO- er small mount o. money,
say. l got erdollarfo hit.-New York
Sun.
FOLLOWING directions. Mrs. Nc
Fudd-"Och, Pat and phat are yez
doing in that tub of water?" Mr.. Nc
Fudd-"Faith and didn'5 the doctor
say Oh should take g. shpoonful in wa
Their tree times day? Oh know me
business. "-The Judge.
OLD gentleman quitting a few ques-
tions-"Now, boys-ah-can any Of
you tell me what commandment Adam
broke when he took the forbidden
fruit ?" Small scholar like shot)-
"Please, sir, tn worn't no command
ments then, sir!"-Punch.
A LITTLE 9-year-old daughter of F.
McGlnnis, of Randolph, Cattaraugus
County, fell from chestnut tree one
day last week, about 20 feet to the
ground. She fell upon her head, and
springing to her feet, exclaimed: "I'm
dead; goodbye" and expired instant
ly.-Rochester Democrat.
BROOKLYN MAN-''Talk about pref
ty store girls-I wish you could see the
female clerks d Brooklyn druggist
has" Omaha man -"No doubt we
could match them" Don't be too
sure. Those girls have no equals for
beauty and sweetness anywhere"
'You think so ?' think SO Why,
man, he doesn't even have to sugar
coat the pills.
NIECE Showing the wedding pres
ents to Uncle George wanted you to
see them all dear Uncle George, so that
you won't send q duplicate. Duplicate
wedding presents are go annoying, you
know. Uncle George-H-ml What's
this? Niece-That's papa's check for
$1,000. Isn't it lovely ?' Uncle
George-Very. / intended to send the
same thing, but rather than annoy
you with q duplicate present III just
make it $500 New York Sun.
"MR. CHAIRMAN" said a member on
resolutions, your committee has
made good beginning on 8, platform,
but finds itself unable to proceed with
out the advice of the convention"
Chairman gentleman please
read such of the proposed platform as
the committee has been able to COM
plete unaided?" Committeeman
Yes, sir. Reads we, the people,
Il :
the committee has proceeded. "-Chica-
20 News.
"Now, Bobby" said his sister brisk
ly, Mr.. Featherly will excuse you
am sure, and it's time that little boys
were in bed, you know" EYES," as
sented Bobby, sleepily, "but [ Just
want to ask one question, and then
IN CO." Fire away, Bobby" laughed
Featherly. 81 want to know what
pa meant when he said you were down
at the Eagle Saloon last night telling
people that you were a big iron bridge
over Bitter Greek, an that it was S.
fine to ride or drive across you faster
than walk. THE Sun.
CHICAGO MAN-"Got any Chicago pa
pers ?" Omaha newsdealer-"TheC Chi
cago papers will not be here for an
hour or more. Are you from Chica-
90 ?' eyes" "Did you see what the
Rev. Sam Jones says about your
city," "Why, no." He says every
kind of sin described in the bible is
committed in Chicago" as that so
How soon did you say the Chicago
papers would be nere?'' 90, not for
an hour yet" "Well, how much are
your bibles ?'-Ou aha World,