The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-12-23
zee my friends again-never see my

Tor as much as thousand years"
The speaker had often been inter
rupted by laughter, but at the origin
atty and fun of that conceit his
auditors laughed until they cried, and
kept on laughing with renewed out
bursts over and over again. How the
cute Yankee determined to get at the
bottom facts about the year by watch
Ing Ior total eclipse OF the sun that
he remembered the almanac Of 1884
had spoken of as having occurred in
JZ8, will have to be learned from the
book when it appears.
II made up mymind to two things
If 1t was still the nineteenth century
and was smong lunatics and couldn't
get away | would boss that asylum or
know the reason why, and If, on the
other hand, it was really the sixth
century, all right. | didn't want any
better thing; I'd boss the whole
country inside of three months, for L
Judged Id have the start on the best
educated man in the kingdom by ], 300
yaars. But I'm not man to waste
time, so | said TO the boy: Clarence,
If your name should happen to be
Clarence, what's the name OF that
duck, that galoot, who brought me
here?'"
The gsloot turned out to be Sir Kay,
the seneschal. In the natural course
ot the story came the charming
DESCRIPTION Of the interior Of King
Arthur's castle, leading up to royalty
funny account OF the competitive lying
Of the gallant knights about their
eat. at arms. The transposed Smith
Looked upon the knights as a sort Of
white Indians admired their bigness
and their simplicity, and eventually
concluded:
There didn't seem to be brains
enough in the entire nursery to bait a
lshhook, but you didn't mind that
after little while, for you saw that
Drains We're not needed in a society
ike that, and would have marred its
symmetry and spoiled it."
Everybody goes to sleep when
Merlin reels off that same old
story about E1calibur. Guinevere
II axes eyes at Launcelot in a way that
would have got him shot In Arkansas.
King Arthur orders the Yankee to go
tc some unknown place not down on
any map, capture castle, kill the
colossal saucer eyed ogre who owned
II, snd release sixty royal princesses.
Of course he went, but he reflected:
"W eli, of all the id contracts, this
IS boss! | offered to sublet it to Sir
Launcelot. to let him have it at ninety
days with no margin. but No. he had
got better thing. He was going for
d menagerie Of one-eyeo giants and a
g0llege Of princesses."
Ii occurs to him finally, after won
darlAs if a compromise with the ogre
"ouldn't work, simply to go back and
Cel the king with artistic circumstan-
Uaiity Of detail that he was killed by
tL2 ogre. He does SO, and, Of course,
lue Ing and i4is mig :. who are
used to swallowing each others huge
hes, readily take IN his, and brilliant
career opens before him as the boss
liar OF the court.
lie took a contract from King
81 III ut ~ hlLl Oll at OIIS VI tilc SItdl
tournaments fifteen kings and many
acres Of hostile arnored knights.
81 hen, lance IN rest, they charged by
7quadrons upon him, he, behiHd the
protection Of barhcd wire fence charg-
j With electricity, moved them down
Nlth eating guns that he had made
i5r the occasion. He found that
he ''education of the ninteenth cen
rary is plenty good enough capital to
~ into business in the sixth century
ith,' aud the next year he was. run
lIng the kingdom all by himself oD a
Moderate roy atty Of 40 per cent.
He spoiled the orge busines; cleared
ut the fuss and fummery ofromanco
nd put King Arthur's kingdom on a
-Jrictly business basis. Inside Of three
aud half years the improvement was
complete. CaSt-iron clothes had gone
ont OF fashion. Sir Launcelot was
running a kind of Louisiana lottery
The search for the holy grail had been
oiven up for hunt for the northwest
passage. King Arthur's 140 illustri-
Gus knights had turned themselves in
ia a stock board and a seat at the
round table was worth $4,000.