The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1886-02-04
Pending Charactef N. itima,ttaIx.}


An eminent literary light nd i shrelkd
observer Of humanity once masked in
my hearing. that nd could INN telys
tell the character of any female whoss
stockings he might tsee. I have been,
since then, wonderfully amazed at the
justice Of this mans assertion. Not
the face, nor the eyes, nor the frock
gives half as clear an Insight into the
feminine nature as the STACKING! Many
years of laborious study h8Te l given to
the subject, and they only 90 to prove
the trnthfulness of his reinark. The
outcome of my studies may be given to
the public in: the following brief state
ment. M s sS;7t 55l
Y Dung men, beware of the owner of
the striped stockings! The gaudier the
stripes, the more she should be summed.
She is q lion, seeking whom she may
deyour. She is the ice-cream girl, the
saltwater girl, the fried-oyster girl.
She is the girl who wants you to take
her to the theatre, to the skating rink,
to the National Rifles Fair. And if YOU
won't go with her, she will give you the
G. B. and go there with somebody else.
All, my young friend, tho Sirens should
be painted with striped stockings,hnd I
am surprised that Ulysses never said a
word about it in his narrative.
As a newspaper man; ought not to
say much against the bas 6leu. The
blues have very little beauty as rule,
but they make up for it in their wit. If
you have o good level head and are not
slow in repartee, you may go with i'm
punity with the blues. Otherwise, you
had much better stay away. You might
lose your heart to them twenty times
over and they would only laugh at you.
You may not find the fact mentioned in
Anthem, but it is my private belief that
Minerva wore stockings of beautiful
azure. 4 $.55.-&;;59
Just wait until you SEQ "Nanon!'' At
present you are supposed to know moth
ing of the ballet or chorus girls. &
About black or brown stockings I
have little to say. Their wearers are
good and modest, pure and refined wo-
men, If Heaven sends you black or
brown-stockinged angel in the matri-
monial lottery. you ought to make the
rest of your life an uninterrupted
Thanksgiving Day. s833
No matter how nice your Dulcinea
may be, if she be partial to red stock
ings, she is as much to be dreaded as
the girl with red hair. If5 you, with the
characteristic blindness Of young men,
heed not this warning remember it
4 when, in due course of time you kick
against new spring bonnet. In the
tempest that follows, and in the SUISSE
quent calm, when you collect your re-
mains together, remember this warning
and what it would have saved You As
! Anacreon but. too truly says in his little
Song Of the Broken Head. =
4 OF stockings red and auburn hair
i / tell thee, Phocris be aware.
A 5white-stoc kinged woman is either
an old maid or one who careth not for
tho esteem of men. She who wears
white stockings has no poetry in her
soul. For her the soaring food Of 1nu-
I sic from q quivering bird is as the chat
i tering of a crow; the glorious hues OF d
crowded garden, interior to the beae-
ties Of . gandy bit Of calico Tho swirl-
ing rush Of feecy clouds oyer the gaunt,
appealing, naked arms of the moaning,
shivering trees but "a sign Of d windy
day. The white stockinged woman Is
4 soalless. Washing toa Hatclst. US