davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
Small SelfShneSs.

Selfshness as irritating as the grasping
of the best seat and best light and best
novel and first chance at book or news
paper can be met with at every turn in
many families; the selfshness, let US say,
that, having views on any question con-
ficting with the views of another, will
give voice to those views in season and
out of season, and obtrude them even to
the feelings of others, and if not early and
late insisting upon them, yet never fail
ing to read the fragment from book or
journal unpleasantly supporting them,
and indulging in the audible sniff or
outspoken inuendo, if such a thing there
be, on every occasion where the indul-
gence that shows a consciousness of
the value of no ones views but ones own,
and treats the individuality of all others
with contempt. A similar selfshness as
that which disregards engagements,
which considers the promise to be at
home certain day or fixed hour as of
no weight, besides the inconvenience of
keeping the engagement, and who in this
manner disturbes the household arrange
ments by making meals wait while SER
wants grow impatient and unwilling, and
eyes grow tired with watching and ears
with listening, just as much as the almost
precisely opposite selfshness insists up
on the keeping of such promises and en-
gagements even to the point of positive
discomfort and injury to the other party
who perhaps cannot keep them without
such in jury, and could be excused by one
with any unselfish care. One would find
it hard to come to the end of a statement
of these small acts of selfshness which in
fest the household and hurt it through a
burning sense of the injustice done by
them; and it is a question if, with the
present imperfection of human nature,
we shall ever quite escape them; they are
as countless as gnats in a swarm, and as
vexatious. There is but one way to abate
tkeir nuisance, and that is by frequent
remembrance of the exclusive identity
and rights in life of everybody elsa re-
membrance that many good Christian
who fancies himself dearer to his Maker
than another fails to entertain. Mean
while, those who are aggrieved by these
seIfishnes6es have the consolation of
knowing that even in the injury they en-
dure, and the injustice that is dealt out
them, they are practicing a self-abnega-
ton that bears them to loftier levels of
character than can ever be reached by
those who commit the injury, trifing
though that may be.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
such dissatisfaction that it had to be can

such dissatisfaction that it had to be can
celed.
Dan audience from any of the ministers
is easily obtained, and none of their ex-
cellencies are more accessible than the
prime minister, Count Taaffe. On such
occasions the applicant always comes away
well pleased, for if he seldom gets de-
cisive answer to his request, at all events
he invariably finds a courteous reception.
Official priggishness does not exist in
Austria. A government employe will
oblige you if he can. The delay that
occurs in the transaction of business
is no fault of his. It results from
the whole system prevailing in the civil
service, and which is not peculiar to Aus
tria. We know something of show not to
do it, in England, too. and if there is a
difference in that respect between our
own civil service and that of Austria, it
is not altogether in our favor. An official
of exalted rank whom I met at dinner at
friends house few evenings ago told
me he had framed a project of reform
for the civil service, to which his govern
ment-he was not an Austrian-had
raised but one objection, it would oblige
them to discharge half of their employees,
ana UnaG they mad not the courage
to do. The idea was simply this
that all the government offices should
be established close together, with a
distributing and collecting Office, where
documents having to go through several
departments might be distributed and
called in every day. By this means much
valuable time be spared, and a consider
able amount of work economised. The
plan has another advantage. The dis
tributing and collecting Office went to
serve also as an efficient control over the
work done in each department, and very
little supervision, besides, would be re-
CURED. But the objection already men
toned is not to be surmounted. More
work would be done, but fewer employees
would be required to do it. So, in all
probability, the above scheme, which has
its merits, will never be carried out.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
A Poker Story.
New York Tribune.

capital story is told of the slavery
days of Ex-Governor Pinchback. When
mere lad he belonged to rich old
southerner who was very fond of poker.
His master was once travelling on a Missi-
ssippi River boat and had PLAYED cards
in the cabin ali night. Luck went against
him to such an extent that he lost every
penny he had on his pers on. Then he
offered to play his slave, the Ex-Governor
against $4,000. On this basis the cards
were dealt. The young lad watched his
masters hand eagerly. The old southern
er looked at his cards and raised the ante
He was met and promptly raised it again.
At this moment a gentleman who had
recently come up, attracted by the young
Negroes looks, called him aside. 'sWhose
boy are you?" he asked. ''De dear Lord
above only knows, sah," answered young
Pinchback anxiously. 81 use ter b1ong
to Mars C, but he done gone and bet
me on pair of deuces." "Bet you on a
pair of deuces?" eyes, sab, an I dunno
whose boy I is now. But de ole Massa
he's bluffin' like de mischief, an reckon
Use gwine ter stay" The bluff won.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
A Bald and TOOthlGsS Age.
The Baltimore Sun.

According to a writer in the popular
Science Monthly the coming man is to
be bald and without teeth. The present
man, according to this writer's observa-
tions in our larger cities, is already bald
to the extent of almost so per cent.
Variety theater performances have hith-
erto been generally thought to be most
productive of badness, or attract bald
headed men most, but the scientists facts
are against this view. It was found, for
example, that 40 per cent of the men in
attendance at one of Matthew Arnold's
lecture in Boston were bald, or were be-
coming bald, while at variety theater
performance given in the same city about
the same time but % per cent. of the
male portion of the audience was bald.
When Patti sang in that city the bald
headed men averaged Al per cent. of the
male listened. At Trinity Church, Boston
90 per cent. of the men attending are
bald or losing their locks, while nearly
so per cent. of the Shipping clerks in a
New York store were in that condition.
As regards the loss of teeth, the vastly
greater frequency of dentists signs In the
last score Of years, and the fact that now
days nearly half the people over 20 nave
their Jaws filled with artificial teeth, are
the circumstances that are thought to
prove the degeneracy OF the present time.
The disappearance of the hair of the gen
Grafton of to-day is ascribed to the use
of hats which make it useless. The loss
of teeth is perhaps to be explained in a
similar way, the art of cooking having
made the use of teeth for purposes of
rending and grinding superhuous.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
THIRTEEN GREAT MISTAKES.
New York Mail ana Express.

New York Mail ana Express.
To yield to immaterial trifes
To look for perfection in our own ac-
tions.
To endeavor to mold all dispositions
alike.
To expect uniformity of opinion in this
world.
To measure the enjoyment of others by
our own.
To expect to be able to understand
everything.
To believe only what our finite minds
can grasp.
To look for judgment and experience
in youth.
Not to make allowances for the infrmi-
ties of others.
To worry ourselves and others with
what can not be remedied.
TO consider everything impossible that
we can not perform.
Not to alleviate all that needs allevia-
ton as far as lies in our power.
It is a great mistake to set up your own
standard of right and wrong, and judge
people accordingly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
What Women Need.
Good Housekeeping.

Women need to cultivate their own re-
sources more. There are some who early
recognized the difference of value between
the perishable and imparishable things
of this earth. Every valuable possession
has its added care and expense. People
who were once in moderate circumstances
or poor even, who grew wealthy, look
back upon the old life as freer from
cares and happier; yet if they were to go
back to their early and simpler style of
living the world would severely criticise
them. Every woman needs to keep up
her list of old friends and to make new
ones, too; the family and children cannot
meet all the wants that middle-aged peo-
pie must have for friendship. Not any
woman is so busy but that she can find
time to write an occasional letter. IF the
friend to whom she owes letter would
come to see her, she could lay aside work
and talk to her and urge her to stay long
er. Ohe can stop On the street at the
risk of taking pneumonia in winter, to
talk to a friend for half an hour, and
why cannot friends be civil when they
do not meet? Pure air every day, which
housekeepers need so much, would freshen
them up until twice the amount of work
could be accomplished that there is,
without the daily dragging sensation
which one has who stays so closely in
doors. There are many mothers and
children who do not go out for a week of
snowy or stormey weather. and all grow
irritable or cross, because they have fail
ed to provide thems Gives with proper
protection against storms-oVer shoes,
leggings, rain-coats, or umbrellas. The
English family entire goes out rain or
shine. Health ranks first with them, as
it should.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
How Bob ;, Ingersoll Got His Scar.
New York Letter to the Hartford Ti,oas


Speaking of Colonel Ingerson reminds
me that once crossed the ocean with him
and his family, in the autumn of 1878.
and can easily understand how the ste
nographer has come to swear by him, for
he has many charming and fascinating
quantities. During the voyage his wife and
one OF his daughters were sea-sick from
the moment we left Southampton until
our good ship, the Main, of the North
GERMAN Lloyd line, reached Sandy Hook
ana al this time Colonel Ingersoll was as
attentive to things as the most devoted
husband and father could have beer.
Nhen they were confined to the stuffy
stateroom, he remained there with them
teIlng them stories and cheering them up:
and when they were ready TO come
on deck, his strong arms carried
them up the compaion way,
tucked them in their steamer
chairs and remained at their side, con-
versing with them and the circle of pas
sengers who always formed about him
making the decks ring with laughter at
his well-tOld and pointed stories, or hold
ing the close attention of all as he argu-
ed some controverted points of ethics.
politics or religion. On one of these oc-
caslons remember somebody asked him
how he received the scar which he has over
or under, l have forgotten which, one of
his eyes. Did you get it on the battle
field?" was asked, "Oh, no." was the re-
Spouse; Twill tell you how it came about.
was once on picnic where the duty de-
volved upon me to open the bottles of
ginger pop. Now, as I was hard at work
at this, one of the corks few off and a
piece Of wire attached to it struck me in
the face-so that this scar is due to your
temperance drinks"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
War Horses at Pasture.
Boston Record

Boston Record.
Rural yoter-That Peabody flock of 200
sheep that gained 900 pounds in twelve
hours feeding must have struck good
grass.
City visitor-That's nothing to the
gain in weight the democratic war horses
are making.
Rural voter-Why, where are they feed
ing?
City visitor are staying around
home and swallowing their emotions.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04

The chilling blasts of a cruel winter are
close at hand, but hardly close enough for
the lover bric-a-brac to appreciate that
there is more warmth in her husbands
overcoat than there is in the plaster-of
paris image she got in exchange for the
garment when the weather was as hot as a
Texas shooting-iron.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
Circumyenting the Law.

"Hello. Sulivens! Where are you go
lug with all those books?" inquired an
Iowa man.
s'Takin' 'em home"
Why, what do you want with so many
of them? 1 don't believe you ever read an
hour at time since you went to school"
II know it. But I'm going to start IN
now"
"What's the cause of this change of
heart
s'Prohibition"
prohibition! What do you mean?"
"Well, you see the proverb says read
ing maketh full man, and you bet am
going to circumvent that prohibition
statue if there's anyway of doing it. So
long. See you SOBER"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
She was Reliable
Texas Siftings.

A female of an uncertain age was asked
by a census-taker:
Chow old are you, madam"
''Thirty years." she replied.
''That's what you told me last census,
10 years ago."
''Well, I'm not one of the kind of WON
en- who tell one story one time and an
other story another"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04
Supplying a Missing KeyhOle.
Estelline Bell.

The night air was somewhat loaded
with his hiccough os he struggled home by
daylight up the steep sides of of Suffer
street. The cars had begun running but
he would not take one. He knew that he
had missed the last car loOg ago, and he
could not understand that yesterday was
over and to-day had come. TO him no
cars ran after 1910 end it had been 1910
fer hours. These must be some other
cars. He was surprised to meet good
many people coming down town, and In
trying to puzzle out what was up he
gradually reached home. A stray police
man who had been left out all night heard
a revolver shot, and in defiance of danger
ran. He found the inebriated gentle
man firing through his own door.
''Hello! what are you doing?"
"Thatsh all right. You just let me
alone.''
''What are yOushooting att"
Darn it can't you see? I can't find
the keyhole of thish door, and I'm shoot
leg in new one. I've got to get my key
into this door somehow"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04

At ball given the other evening, at
which none but blind people assisted,
there were no decolIete dresses of any
kind worn.
lady in recent public lecture at Bos-
ton claimed that the revolt of the thirteen
colonies was inspired by Washlngtons
mother.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04

The peppermint farmers OF wayne
county, New York, are worried over the
decline in peppermint OIL, which sells for
$3.50 to $3.50 pound. This is quite
peppermint drop.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-04

4 comet is called celestial visitor be-
cause it must &c.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-01-09
HOME AND FARM.

-"Wigglers'' and other vermin in cisterns may be destroyed by keeping minnows therein.
 Experience, says writer in Ho1n | d1ad FdYmt, might convince every self observer that few other luXuries can be enjoyed with as much impunity as fresh ripe fruit.
 Beef Tea: Cut lean beef into small pieces, and put into a jar, covering closely. Set the jar in kettle of cold water, bring gradually to boil, and continue until all the juice is extracted from the meat. This will require sev- eral hours. Season to taste.- Cottage HeGrth.
 This ''cake will keep for week if not eaten" One pound of powdered sugar, half a pound of butter creamed with it, ten ounces of flour mixed with the butter and sugar, one grated nut meg or the grated rind of a lemon; then add eight eggs, the yolks and whites beaten separately Bake in moderate oven one hour and -Clevela'ld LeGder.
 Try this old recipe for apple fritters. One quart of milk, three well-beaten eggs and enough flour to make batter. Core and pare twelve large apples, mince finely and mix with the batter. Have pan of boiling lard and drop the batter into the lard with tablespoon, frying in the same manner as dough- nuts. Serve hot, and eat with any acid sauce.-I1diandpoltS Sentinel.
 The farmer who has any desire to economize should never forget that com- mercial fertilizers are to be resorted to only when the home supply fails to fur nish enough; and also that because he is able at all times to get in the market whatever amount of fertilizers he may desire, it does not justify him in permit ting anything to be wasted on the farm that can be made to take the place of the fertilizers he can buy.-N. E. Fdrnn er.
 Among the new inventions for kitchen use is cake cooler, wire mat which is lifted up on several small feet, and which allows the air to pass all around the cake and keep it from grow ing "soggy'' while cooling. A sink cleaner is blade of rubber set in a handle, and serves most uSefully to scrape out the sides of the sink. A small, hard brush for scrubbing vegeta- bles that are to be boiled in their skins is useful.-B0StOn Globe.
 The following is said to be the method followed by matters in smooth ing silk hats which have been roughened by rain. Sponge the hat all over, or in parts, as it may need, with nice, rath- CT fine, medium-sized sponge, wrung out of cold or warm water, following the nap, of course. Leave it in an ordi- nary temperature out of dust for twelve hours to dry. Then brush as ordinarily with nice hat brush, and wipe round with an old silk handkerchief, and the sorriest-looking old hat (not denteO will come out again as fresh as new.- N r. MGH.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-01-09
DEPTH AND HEIGHT.

The Comparative Insignifcance of the
 Earth's Surface Inequalities.
 If it be remembered that the greatest depth of the ocean is only about five miles, and that the height of the neigh est mountain is likewise about five miles above the level of the sea, while the globe itself has a diameter of eight thousand miles, the comparative insignificance of all the surface inequali- ties of the earth is at once forced on our attention. A circle siXty-siX feet in diameter having on its surface depres- sion of one inch, or globe one foot in diameter with a groove on it's surface one-sixteenth of an inch in depth, would represent on true scale the greatest in- equality, of mountain height and ocean depth, on the surface of the earth. Mis- conceptions often arise, and erroneous conclusions arc frequently arrived at when these proportions are not rigidly borne in mind. But, unimpOrtant as these surface features may appear when viewed with reference to the diameter of the earth, or to the superficial area of an ocean several thousand miles in extent, still to the geologist and physical geo. grapher the elevations and depressions, Holdings and dislocations, vertical and lateral, which form these inequalities are truly gigantic, immense, profound; and the more do they appear to be the result of changes taking place in very definite and orderly manner in the course of the earth's developmental his- tory. Mature.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-01-09
HEALTH AND DRESS.
Some Wholesome Hints in Regard to tn
 HealthfuI Adjustment of Garments.

Some Wholesome Hints in Regard to the
 Healthful Adjustment of Garments.
 As every properly constructed build ing must have good foundation, so should the superstructure of woman's s dress be erected upon well-fitting under garments. To attain this, the time honored '.chemise" must be abolished, and its place supplied with garments that fit closely, but easily, the figure They should be all supported from the shoulders, either by being made in a 'combination suit," as vest and drawers all in one garment are called; or, if the drawers are separate, they should be supported by strap fastened to the waistband in front, and about four inches above the band be divided into two straps passing over each shoulder and buttoning to the waistband in the back. Over this should be worn gar ment, for which no adequate name has yet been invented, althoug gh some call it a ''chemiloon,' It is muslin bodice. made by the wearer's basque pattern, to insure good fit. About four inches be- low the waist is sewed on short, mar row skirt, and the joining of these is covered by narrow bias fold, in which seven or eight buttons are sewed at reg ular distances apart in which to button all the petticoats, which must be regu- lated in length, and put on to a narrow yoke. The basque may extend an inch or two below the bias fold, under the clv iIfr ioh I1Y1ff may be sewed, on which to button the muslin drawers, unless a second waist is preferred for this special purpose. This chemiloon may have very short, we'll fitting sleeves, and be cut square in the neck, and made as pretty as its owner pleases. By its use, those who desire may dispense with corsets. The stock ings should be suspended also from this waist by garters that button on to it with clasps to hold up the stockings. Every dress skirt, too, with its heavy drapings and plaitings, should be supported by the shoulders, by means of suspenders.
 Other general rules for beauty in dress are now, we think, so generally understood as hardly to need repetition. That very stout person looks best in dark, close-fitting dresses, with flat trimming, while very slender figure can wear puffed or gathered plastrons, and boufant drapery; and that tall person should not wear perpendicular trimmings, nor short person horizontal ones.
 True economy demands that good materials should be used, especially for outdoor wear, and it is best, also, to buy as few dresses as possible each sea- son, as they soon grow old-fashioned. and it will involve expense and trouble to have them remodeled. Those who have but few dresses are wise when they have these few inconspicuous in color or make, so that they will not be re- membered. A black silk will pass un- recognized as an old friend, oftener than any other, and since they are now lower priced than ever before within the mem- ory of women, they are within the reach of those even of moderate means. Hand- some petticoats may be made out of old silk or cloth dresses that have served their term of usefulness as dresses Philadelphia Press.