Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-02
HISTORICAL.

When we were at school we used to wish that history would repeat itself, as we so often heard it would do.-Lewell Citizen. Mamma-"Frankie, are you eating those green apples agains'
 Frankie-s'No, mamma: I'm eating some others. ."-Harper's Young Folks. A facetious broker on the petroleum ex- change who had read about the recent bat ties on the stock exchange was called liar on change yesterday. Instead of pitching in and fighting, he rang ''chestnut" bell fas- tened to his vest.-New York Sun.
 ''Have you bathed yet this summera"
 ''Yes, I've bathed several times at Coney Island''
 'tHow did you 6nd the water7'
 fFind the waters Why, you can't miss it. It's all around the island. ."-Texas Siftings.
 "Children," said Dakota school teacher, "from the noise outside think dog fight is going on. You are all excused and may go out and watch it. Don't get in hurry here, it will look better to let your teacher go frstl" and he shot out of the door followed by wild rush of the scholars.-Estelline Bell.
 We are in receipt of circular announcing the second annual gathering of the Billing family, which is to take place in Boston on the 10th p1oX. It is little singular that there shonld not be a gathering at the same time of the .'Cooing" family, between whom SAooO aternization.-Detroit Free Press.
 A Valiant outh.-Featherly is contem- plating summer trip and he asked Bobby how he would like to go along with him. First rate,'' said Bobby, ''and wouldn't be afraid if you did set it on fire" 'tSet what on ire?' The river. Sister said you were going to make trip up the Hudson, but she didn't think you'd set the river on fre."- Harper's Bazar.
 A three year old was discovered in the flower garden the other day, and around him lay innumerable sweet pea blossoms which he had clipped off with pair of shears 'just for fun.' His mother said nothing to him, but looked rather surprised. Presently he turned to her and remarked in the most matter-of-fact way: f'Can you tell me what has besn going on out here"-St. Albans Messenger.
 The Rural New Yorker condemns the prac- tice of scraping the trunks of fruit trees, as some people do. We never heard of any thing quite so small as that. We have known farmers so meaA that they sold off all the fruit, leaving none at all for the family to eat at home; but to scrape the trunks of the trees afterwards, goes a little ahead of anything we ever read about. Do they make the scrapings into jellya-Texas Siftings
 The Correct Thing in Monograms.- "What is that you have got on your writing paper, Sadiea" ''That is my monogram" 'sWAat is monograma" ':Why, the mi tials@of your name changed so that the let these not the initials of your name." "Yes, they are" ''Well, can't make lem out" Certainly not. That's the beauty of it. If you could make lem out it wouldn't be a monogram worth having. ."-Boston Courier
 A Mean Swindle.-Tom Anjerry, some what dissipated student at the University of rl- 31 fria Yardly: ''I'm in 8 streak of bad luck" "What has happened to youa" My uncle has just voluntarily sent me a check for $25." Where is the bad luck about thats" 'You see was just going to borrow $50 from him and now I can't in decency do it. The old scoundrel has headed me off. I've been feeced out of $25 by the old villain. ."- Texas Siftings.