St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-09-20
ADAM AND EVE.
An Early Evening Scene Outside the
Gates of Paradise.
Mans First Attempt to Institute
ssthe Lodge.o
Eve on the Rights OF Women--Some
Ffg-Leaf Philosophy.

Eve on the Rights OF Women--Some
Fig-Leaf Philosophy.
"A-a-a- DUMP loudly called the fore
mother of mankind one bright afternoon rs
she stood in the entrance OF domiclie
fashioned from huge gap in q bowlder,
with closely woven branches for a front.
"A-a-a-a-dum!! Adum!P' she lepeatcd
sharply, losing patience. "Drat the man!
where can he bel He ought to have fin
ished work long SINCE" and softly mutter-
ing she started for the nearest tg-t! &c, and
began gathering leaves.
Down in a little grove, just beyond the
vegetable garden, where the trees swayed
in happy unison, where the shade was most
inviting. where the OdOr of flowers was
most Intoxicating. where the birds sang
their most melodious lays, place which
lavish nature delighted to ornament with
the loveliest and rarest gifts in her treas
ures, there amid the splendor5 OF this
royal mistress, lay the MODEST work OF
the Creator-Adam, gently slumberlng
The awkward spade and the crooked hoe
were laid aside-peaceful, upon the I'M
turned sod. The beaming sun floated down
the golden West, the chilly breath OF APP
preaching night was felt, warning the Ia
borer to cease his toll. Adam awoke, he
gazed languidly about, then carefully gath
erng ND his implements of toll he slowly
plodded homeward.
Eve was laying the last fruits upon the
flattened stone for the evening meal as
Adam arrived. He flung his tools upon the
ground and exclaimed. 'Pll have to stop off
digging tomorrow to sharpen that hoe and
hon hn ,c fnn
Springy."
Now didn't 1 tell you sol" incontrover-
tlbly exclaimed Eve, as she squatted her
self before the stone.
Il guess [ misunderstood you, then," re-
piled Adam. ''for l thought you said it
would do if | didn't pry too hard on 1t"
$50 l did, and 1 know it would"
assented Eve.
Yes, my dear, but if don't pry hard
enough how can dig?"
''Dig gently. then; don't pry hard enough
to spring the willow. O, [ know it's posi-
ble," she cried, routing his feeble objec-
tons by shaking banana at him. Don't
stand there and say it isn't, sir. l see it
instinctively."
81 suppose So" sighed Adam, cycling his
dining spouse hungrily. Supper ready
yet. Eve?" he asked, little embarrassed.
''Of course" she replied. Hurry up;
you've kept me waiting long enough al
ready"
Adam ate silently and thankfully. az one
who appreciated the repast, nodding his
head mechanically to the discourse of his
wife. He finished some time before her,
and whist waiting under her ubiquitous
eye, he moved uneasily III his place.
What makes you always so nervous
after supper, Adam? What's ailing you?"
uuered Eve, eying him suspiciously.
Il don't know" obviously answered
Adam, but l sort of feel instinctively as if
| wanted to go somewhere. l don't know
where"
Yes" assented Eve, with lurking
symptom of power in her tone, as with
limb she vigorously brushed the remains of
the repast from the rock, land l sort of
feel instinctively as if you'd better remain
home nights"
"Well-mebbe So" murmured the man,
abstractedly. ''Mebbe so. But it kind Of
occurred to me, as [ was delving to-day,
that might build chapel SOmeWhere-a
sort of lodge. as it were-and devote these
evenings to self-communion."
you do your self-communion with me.
Adam. and you'll feel BETTER" replied his
Spouse not much impressed by this original
idea. where were you thinking of max
ing this chap-eh-this lodge, as it were"'
''Oh, just a little beyond the grove there,
near the river bank"
''Near where?"
1.-THE river bank"
"Where saw you talking with that odd
looking creature in the water?"
''N-D-nO. not exactly there" answered
Adam. little embarrassed.
what was it, Adam?" instinctively
queried his interrogation.
Well replied the man after pause,
81 think I'll call them mermads."
care they very ferocious or poisonous?''
asked the woman. curiously.
''Well, mum! Well yes! Yes, that
is to say, when they're unduly excited they
are very much So Now, the sight of a
strange woman would rouse all their latent
ferocity. That reminds me, Eve, l want
you to be careful in going near that spot;
something serious might occur. Avoid the
place carefully, my dear, and I'll endeaver
to drive the creature away. But what have
you been doing to-day. my love?" asked
Adam, laundering on the most adroit turn
he could give to the conversation.
Laying in winter supply of fig leaves. y
replied Eve, dolefully. Good ones are
scarce this year and it's getting more diff
cult every day to get the right shades"
Seems to me you are collecting great
many leaves for one woman. What would
be done if there were more of your seX?"
and he rolled his eyes about apprehensively.
Il don't know but l must have them, "
replied Eve little nettled, as she recalled
some of the unkind remarks Adam had
jokingly made long, long ago.
''Of course you must. No one said you
must not" quickly answered Adam, real
izing the danger.
Yes, but you insinuated as much in
your tone"
Now. my DEAR" expostulated Adam in
trepidation, please don't"
"Oh, you needn't deny it," broke in his
wife, rising. eff you didn't say so eX-
pressly, l know you thought it just the
same. For it was only last night you were
mean enough to say that if we hadn't left
Eden as early as we did, we never should
have got away on account of the baggage |
was accommodating. You know you said it,
Don't deny it. And think if you were the
right sort of a man and knew how to
properly treat wife, you'd stay home
once in while and help me gather leaves.
You 60 off every day and leave me all alone
with no company to talk to, and what can
| do, poor lone woman that am, and the
only consolation that l have in my misery
is TO 90 down to the vale and talk to the
parrots for colnpany's sake. Oh, if [ only
had a mother, or some one to counsel and
look after me. There ought to be some law
to protect females"
''I-Pm making most of-thatis, some of
the laws, Eve. and if there is anything l
can do for you in that line that will assuage
your distress, just mention it. DoE'
pleaded Adam, eager to oblige.
Don't trouble YOURSELF" snapped Eve,
''if live long enough I'll see about it.
Rest assured. my daughters shall have the
benefit of mothers experience to direct
and protect them from tyrannical husbands.
And let me tell you, sir, while am at it,
it's lucky for you, sir, that you are the only
man. The Lord knows our marriage was
none of my seeking. Adam WINGED hard
at this old thrust.) l don't wonder all the