Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-15
,,Iss CLEVELAND IN VERSE.
ger Holiday Bow to the Public as Il
SoeteSs.
From re ye,0 York World.


The January number of Lippincotts
MAGAZINE will be Issued about Dec. 90,
ond in il Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland
will make her bow MS poetess. Her
roam is entitled The Dilemma Of the
Tvectieth Century" and consists OF forty
ana stanzas of ten lines each. 1t is writ
+sn in Spenserian metre, similar to the
;irgle of Byron's ''Don JUAN" although
Il hears no resemblance to that popular,
Int rather off-day color production, 1t
would be fairer to Miss Cleveland, per-
hans. to say that she has taken the "Fairie
Oneeneo as her model for an allegory OF
20 present day. The "Dilemma,r of
conrse. is the woman question, and the
poem begins:
Judith Won stump fell sick or fell TO ailing-
THAT was as clear as day to any one
And It was settled Judith's health was fail
ing:
And so meeting of the wise physicians
Of either sex was cal ed upon TO sit
In counsel upon Judith's bad condition.
. And charged to find a speedy cure for it.
From far and near they came, and saw and
sat;
OF conquering speak not; you shall judge
of that.
Doctors of all kinds come at the call,
Hof every school AID are of either SEX"
who find upon Investigation the facts in
Jndith's case. Her parents were plain,
Tospectabie people who went to church in
pleasant weather.
or. when 1t happened that rain was falling
IN papa's stock. why then, it is not queer
rYbey kept the Sabbath day at home, in calling
. on God to rain salvation lar and near.
The Sunday columns of the New York Weekly
HoenaI Of truth they read, TOO. at this time:
Receiving oil It's wise Instructions meekly;
And both declared twas excellent, twas
Tins. bv this wise hebdomadal arrangement
There came to these elect no sad estrange-
ment.
In such an atmosphere Judith was nour-
ished and sent to boarding school, where
sba learned sucn things as ladies should
know and was finally graduated and
..read with nice articulation her vale. tied
with ribbons in between" She atterward
emerged as butterfly of fashion, backed
;bv her papa's gold, and ''cracked" dozen
hearts and broke ''couple." However,
Judith was not cruel. as she always said,
"sbe did not mean to hurt 'em." Years
rolled on and Judith is u and ''our review
of her mast life is done" At this point
Miss Cleveland adOrns the page with ten
asterisks and the reader is at ouce ushered
into a meeting OF the disagreeing doctors.
This is their diagnosis:
We find this woman
Existing without life at twenty one;
Processing all those forces which human
Nature can boast. The patient should be
In robust health. Upon investigation
We lind the nervous centres and the brain
a little strained. Local Justification
Threatens the heart, and yet no trace of
pain
Is to je found. In fact, we are not sure
ut cause, and therefore find rs yet no cure.
At this there is much discussion, one
doctor saying that the woman Is in love;
another declares that she needs husband
and family to occupy her time, and
another physician prescribes exercise in
the open air.
The next who gained hearing was woman,
Of visage resolute and purpose fell,
Who now proc aimed in accents superhuman;
The true cause of this illness | can tell
And will. Our patient is a wretched sufferer
From mans injustice; you will please to
note
The cause; tits soon explained, and tits
enough, sir,
Tomake woman sick, sir, not to vote.
She never told her grief, yet how it cankers!
Give her the ballot, SIR; for this she bankers"
Immense applause follows this advice,
and amid the confusion the author, who
has not appeared before, falls asleep and
dreams that she is walking on ladder
stretched across gulf. She finds it i'm
possible to get to the other end of the lad
der, and continues:
The night drew on
Backward 1 could not return; trembling
and fearing
fell, and falling, woke. My dream was
gone
Gone were the doctors, gone the crowd, all
over,
And of the patient, naught could discover.
f0tI 4a,H Of I'd
the moral begins:
Your pretty, puny face, your helpless
Lying in graceful ease, while still to free you
From chains yourself has forged, ferment-
ing bands
Oiyeasty quacks prescribe without fee.
For this sick woman of the nineteenth cen
tury!
As a counter remedy to the prescrip-
ton Of ''yeasty quacks," Miss Cleveland
boldly announces her creed:
My creed is short and easy of digestion
Provided yOu possess those organs sound,
ana eager TO discuss the woman question,
A subject strong and tough, as l have
found.
do believe q woman is creature
Sent forth Of God to run the race of life.
Asiree OF choice as man in every feature
And phase OF this most noble strife.
The man has brain and soul and body; woman
The same and thus makes up the human.
The author SAYS very emphatically that
man Is just precisely what his food will
make MIN. For instance, if your palate
has been tickled by cabbage:
Hcabbage, then say, herbivorous sinner,
. foull lind yourself cabbage head pro
tom.
cabbage you'll talk, or. if you live by scrub
bling.
You'n think and write just what you have
been nibbllng.
In fact. all through Miss Cleveland
seems TO have great contempt for the I'M
fortunate creature known as a man, and
proceeds to score him most numerically
az every chance. Witness the following.
Alter announcing that If you know a
mans diet you can't mistake him:
or course you understand mean by diet
Just all that feeds the man in head and
heart
Uniting not the stomach, for deny it
VINO will, the liver regulates no meagre
part.
lake out your formula, choose your affnities;
say, equal parts of ballroom, club and horse;
so much Irritation; some few printed asini-
ties,
" ce;era. ct cetera. IN course,
ana u You strictly follow out your plan
ionli have that ''thlng OF hair and ncckties"
called a man.
Miss Cleveland evidently feels that she
LAS been severe upon the masculines, and
proceeds to reprove the "pulpy, pretty
,wwoman OF the period" in mild manner.
LSn more asterisks appear, and then the
0tner saws: