Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-03

] When the Roman Senate elected Lucius | Quintus Cincinnatus consul by a handsome plurality, notwithstanding the Tammany de- lection and the fact that prohibition candi- date was sprung on them at the last moment, they appointed a committee to visit the no- ble.Roman on his farm and announce to him
 his Alection.
 They found him engaged in doing his spring ploughing. As they approached with
 all the dignity they could command while
 stumbling across ploughed land in their long
 togas, be stopped his oxen to ascertain who
 they were and what they wanted. "Most noble Roman," said the chairman of the committee in that deep, sonorous tone
 suited to the occasion, five are here" 'FSo I see," said Lueius Quintus, eyeirg
 them suspiciously, "but signed contract for some of those patent bee-hives last sum- mer and found it was note for five hundred dollars that I had to pay at the bank. You can't play the green game on me twice." 'You mistake our mission altogether"
 said the chairman of the committee with of tended dignity, five ar"
 ssLightnipg rod men perhaps. But I don't | want any lightning rods nuther." "Deign, most noble Cincinnatus, to give me your attention for few brief moments" ''Well, hurry up, old hoss, and make it short, for I'm busy's mules tail in fly time, and he sat down on his plough-beam, flaming himself with an old straw hat ''The republic is in danger" he began, reading from a long roll of MS. that he pro- duced
 ssThat sounds sort e familiar. 'Nuther
 lection coming on I reckon. You're goin' to sound the tocsin, ain't ye? And mebbe you'll wave the bloody shirt" ssThe Roman Senate, realizing the exigen- cy of the situation, has elected you" eff there ain't them pesky colts in my
 garden patch again." cried Cincinnatus, springing to his feet.
 "W-h-o-a, there git out of that!'' he yelled as he grasped his ox-gad and started across the field to drive them out. | When he returned he was perspiring and swearing like a Roman trooper. "Blankety | blank them blank colts," he cried, ''they'n jump any fence that was ever made. Say, you fellers. You don't happen to know a poke thst1l keep colts from jumpin', do yes | ''The city which Romulus founded" said | the chairman, scarcely needing the interrup-
 tion, Gin casting about for competent com mander every way adequate to the emergen- cy that has overtaken us, the eyes of the | Senate have turned toward you" "Shawi you don't say!'
 "Your steadfast championship of the rights of labor. your position on the silver question, your uncompromising opposition to the Chinese, your refusal to avail your self of the franking privilege, and your scornful rejection of a railroad pass while | member of your town council, the counte-
 nance that you gave to the early closing
 movement, your defiance of Canada on the | fishery question, ysur-"
 ''Come now, boys, let upP'
 "Your refusal to have your portrait and 1 biography published in book of Eminent | Men your services as volunteer fireman, | the ability you displayed captain of | military company, your having never writ | ten communications to the papers, or shown yourself in open hack in Decoration day processions, your refusal to allow your pho | tographs to be placed on sale, your never sending proof slips of your speeches to the
 daily journals, never making false return % the tax assessor, wearing pointed -toed & pes, or parting your hair in the middle, or crSsng 'chestnut!' and above all your invari able habit of going to the polls and voting | the old ticket without scratch, have in- | duced the Senate to call you to the highest office in their gift, the Roman consulship!" Cincinnatus was so overcome by this time | that he could only press the speakers hand | silently and lead the way to the house, where he tapped fresh barrel of cider and l invited them all to join him in drink. | But he accepted the nomination all the