The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-06-17
HUMOR.


A NAN may have no ear for music,
vet have mind to play.
The spring-time of .life-when you
discover bent pin under you.
A VERY plain and plainly dressed
girl may cut swell. All that is neces-
sary is to refuse to recognize him.
Boston Courier.
EMPLOYER: Don't you see what's
on the door?" Pat: "A bit of paper,
sur" Employer: 1T says, Please
didn't hear it, sur"
CUSTOMER in restaurant: "Waiter.
this chicken soup has feathers In it
Waiter: YES. sab. If yo' want soup
made outer chickens dat am old 'nough
to be bald, sab, YOU have to go to some
odder establishment"
A CORRESPONDENT wants to know IL
it is proper to urge young lady to
sing at an evening gathering after she
has refused once. 1t is proper to urge
little, but not too much, least she
should change her mind.
So WITTY a compliment is rarely
made that of Sidney Smith to his
friends, Mrs. Tighe and Mrs. Cutie:
"Ah there you are-the cuff that every
one would be glad to wear, and the tie
that no one would lose."
WHAT is THE USE?
Why should we fret why should we sigh,
What is the uss Of repining?
Every dark cloud that comes into our sky
Is a cloud with "A silver Lining.
Boston Courier.
ONE of the most characteristic stories
told about Mr.. w. +. Forster turns on
his whist-playing. Mr.. Payn, the nov
elist, is an enthusiastic whist-player,
while Mr.. Forster only Joined in"
when some one was wanted to make up
rubber. On one occasion they were
partners, and Mr.. Forster was playing
execrably. For time Mr.. Payn kept
his temper, as in the circumstances
good players find it hard to do; but at
last he broke down and looked things
unutterable. His partner saw what was
wrong, and came to Mr.. Payn's rescue.
Say anything you like" he said,
genially; IF you think it would relieve
you, call me Buckshot !"-St. James
Gazette.
INCONSISTENCY.
The soft, inconstant, p.asainy rain
Beats warmly on the window pane,
Then ceases altogether.
The jealous clouds oppose in vain
The sun shines brightly out again
And that is April weather.
With such a gush of sudden tears,
young, romantic maiden hears
Her pa dismiss poor Harry.
But soon the cloudy weather clears
She smiles again, when there appears
A richer man to marry.
-Someruille Journal.
SOME papers are criticising the Pres
ident because in q recent message he
used the phrase "innocuous desuetude.
We do not think this is fair. If Mr..
Cleveland wants to turn clear back to
the hind part of the dictionary and
take out pair Of such words it isn't
any ones business. There is no proof
that he skipped any of the book in
hunting them up; doubtless he has
studied it all the way through till he
came to them. We have ourself ex-
plored back in that part of the book to
certain extent and can say that the
President might have done much worse.
In the comparatively unsettled terri
torial portions of Webster's dictionary,
chiefly used as stock ranges for the
elephas Indicus, the chrysochloris
capensis, and the thin and hardy
pterodactyl, there are words which it
would have been much more difficult
for large man like him to have caught
and halter broken than "innocuous
desuetude," and also ones which would
have had a much worse effect on the
great camp hunt among the Businesses
of the English language undisturbed.
-EStelline Bell.