Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-22
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE doesn't appear TO be any doubt that
the tracks Of the Broad AZ horse railway are
steal" ones.-- L010sN Courier.
WHAT is the difference between a lady's
morning dress and your p5cketbooks Wei,
one is a cashmere wrapper and the other
mere cash wrHpper.-SDicer.
CAN FEBRUARY MARCH; asked the pun
ster, with siekly smile.
Perh 4ps not, replied the quiet man, but
April May.-Boston Transcript
a WISE BOOK AGENT.-Is the head Of the
servant-Yas, sorr. He's in the library
thryin' to write a letter with his new stylo-
graphic pen. Wull yez come in2
Book Agent chastity l-NOs III call again.
HarDsr's BdSdg.
OUR esteemed Cyrus assertion that his feel
ings nave been hurt by what GOV. Robinson
said of him nas parallel in Chicago. your
Honor" said the prisoner at the bar, sit isn't
that the jury found me guilty. or tina
you gave me i've years at JOheF. What |
complain OF is the prosecuting attorney say
ing I'm no gentleman. - Wall Street -Aetes.
LITTLE ToaAY recently went with his
mother into tile country on a visit. and the
fret night they were gently disturbed by the
barking of the watch dogs on the place. In
the morning the mo her spoke OF it. Did
you hear them, mamma: inquired the boy.
Well. l should say So she replied, en-
phatically
What was they dom. mammal Was they
talking in their sleep: 1t went at that -
Merchant ZrdUeier.
AS CERTAIN As CREMATION Are you sure
he is deadY" asked the Insurance agent OF the
widow of the deceased mlser.
Certain of it"
''What proof lave / of it?'
There were twenty carriages at his fu-
neral that / ordered myself "
"HOw does that prove his deRth?''
''Ahi sir you didn't know him. II Tom had
been the least bit alive he'd have kicked at
the expense, sure."-Ae1O York Graphic.
OVERHEARD in a street Car: First lady
Why, You know, dear, my husband is too for
getful Tor anything Why, do you know,
when he goes out he really don't remember
where he is going.
Second lady-Wel. all men are alike They
keep on talking, and half the men they forget
where they are going.
First lady to cOnduCtOr--StOp at College
street, please.
Conductor-Three blocks back, madame
NesO Karen HetcS
A PRACTICAL APPLICATIoN OF SCRIPTURE.
--Wlnnie's mother had been cOmbing the
little girls long and handsome but wind
tangled, rOmp-s0arled hair. When the ope-
ration was hnIshed-and 1t Was not unaccom-
panied with several severe puls-Winnie
asked; Did you get out many hairs, man.
MAJ"
''Yes, dear, was the answer, quite good
many" e5
''Then He'll have to number them all over
again, won't ey"--HGsPer'S Basar.
PREPARATORY 10 tue 6tTudO opera season
Manager Mcconnell, of the Columbia
theatre, has burned much midnight cleo
tricIty learning enoughof the German lang
uage to make himself agreeable to the mem
bers Of the company. Yesterday morning one
OF the singers stFoled IN to attend the re-
hearsal. aRd was greeted by the manager
with suaye "GOtcn mprgen."
''Eh.' said the singer.
"lch sage gutep mQrgen. Wo gehen sic
hin?"
81 don't catch on replied the singer; II
guess you had better see the manager. Chi
cago Ae1cs-g sev
WE KkOEoa San Francisco woman who is
so struck on her EBwly acquired French that
she has forgotten hoWt0 read English. She
went to = church fair not long ago, and was
heard to whisper anXiSusly to her husband:
"JOhn, john, mon on en-. what is that sign over
the booth where that jolie Pile is standingg lie
AotbddeF [ know what the Ie is, but l can't
make out the fsOR0ote. On! Mon Diea. Think
how shall feel If some one, knowing my pro-
ficiency In French. asks me TO translate it?'
John (WhO don't care much for French, nor
for church fairs eltherl-"Well l call that
plain, ordinary. sfour, wet lemonade. and
whatever it Is. IL is marked rs cents glass, 80
come away from 7it.n--,SdR fraRciscO yet0S
Letter. q ON orc fauT