Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-28
BRIGHT BITS.

---------
TIE bribery season in New York is not so
prolific as early indications promised Boston
T,0nscyiDt.
IF you make a habit of keeping live mice IN
your pockets. yonr loose change will be com
paratively safe from your enterprlsing wife.
Life.
AND he is never weaned-Judge says: ''The
COWBOY was born of the turf and sucked by
the winds Of heaven" Oh, no, neighbor. The
cowboy is no sucker. He is brought up on the
botte.-Bro' Kim Eagle.
THERE has been rebellion in Senegambia
and the government is down with nervous
pr0stratOn. Here is a chance for the maya
zines to knock the bung out of another casK of
war literature YOabers Grsstte.
LAWYER (jOyfullyj-How do you feel now?
Condemned murderer (whO has just been
reprieved)-As playful as chill. my boy.
Lawyer slappIng him on the bacl)-Ah,
see; you have just skipped arOpe.-The Jldge.
A NEW HAMPSHIRE MAN kept his whisky
bottle at The bottom Of the well, and when his
wife found the string and pulled tup he tried
ito make her believe that 1t belonged to Chi
naman who had bored through from the other
side OF the earth.- PhtladeiDhia Herald.
YOUNG WIFE-Now, George dear. il you
say you'll come home early pil go to work and
have nice cake baked for you. Yes | will,
although never tried to bake one before.
Young Husband-Pm sorry, dear. but !
can't come home early to-day. 1t will be i'm
possible. In fact, think 1 will be little
later than usual.-BostOn Courier
Two sweete girl graduates with golden pas,
e tch girl adorned with peculiar grace,
Would at one college make We parting speech
Winch would bring down We tears on each
swcete face;
But one girls pop did We most rumDus make,
And then ye facultiee did water take.
-E1chd4a0s.
UNFoUNDED RUMOR-A small hoy was de-
tected bv u stingy farmer in one of his cherry
ha 70 adj hn hna douv
aud talked very seriously to him about the
sinfulness OF steali e. The boy answered in
dignartly: Now. you just count them cher
ries over again and see if there IS one OF 'em
missing before you insnuate that took it,
Teas SiJtinGs.
TEACHER-We should always try to be kind
and gentle, obert Did you ever purposely
wound and not feel the pangs of regret after
ward?
Teacher-what, Intentionally? What have
you wounded. Robert, without feeling sorry
for it?
Robert-I have wounded my watch.-Tid-
BITS.
MR.. ENo-'what business did you follow
| when In the States?
French EXile-I was a stock raiser.
Mr.. Eno-Oh, indeed! Well, we can't ad-
/ NIT a mere catteman into our circle, you
know. We emu. t draw the line some where.
French Exle-You don't understand. l
raised my stock from a safe with a jimmy.
Mr.. EnO-BarUOn me, my dear DON. come
and dine with us this evenlng.-LOaoeU Citi-
| sen.
A WoMANs AIM.-Charley-Clar
tears What is the matter?
| Clara-Oh. Charley-I don't mind telling
| you. Arthur has left me in anger. 1t was a
| trifing dispute, but"
Why Didn't YOU try to appease his wrath?
81 did, ! threw him kiss as he passed the
window, but he did not see it,"
| ''Certainlv not. You should have thrown it
out in the hall, and then there would have
been some chance its hitting him" PhfLd-
dolphin call
THOMAS KEITH and Nose Hedrick, ESQ.,,
| have the thanks OF the Star for cash Mr.
| Ben Young very kindly settled up his sab
scripton account while attending court
! Mr.. G. ;. Wheeler subscribed for this paper
| and paid mp in advance few days ago
| Many thanks. Mr.. A bert Goodman, J. M.
i Waugh. V. 5. Armstrong, and others have
! our thanks for remittances and subscri ptions
| MIR. l.. p. Rogers came in last week and
| threw down one dollar for The Star one year.
That is the way to make a newspaper Lively.
clay County W. Va.) Star.
PETROLEUM IS the topic of the Office, draw
| ing-room ami workshop, and great part of
! our people think only OF oil, talk oil. and
dream oil. Miss Jennie Smith. the railroad
evangelist, who has been laboring here. when
| leaving the other day ap reached at the
train Capt. v, a well-known operator,
who was standing on the platform, took him
! by the hand. ms is her custom. and asked
| Brother how are you? Are You on the roc K
| or saniF" The Captain absent mindedly but
eXcitedy replied: we arc two bits in the
sand and gushing like blazes. PistSburg
PFess.