davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-02-15

get out of the serious trouble into which
obedience to the injunctions contained in
those alleged revelations have already
involved them.
The laws of the United States are the
particular revelations" with which the
people of Utah have most to do at the
present time, and the sooner they real
ize this fact and set about conforming
their conduct to the requirements OF those
laws, the better will it be for all con-
cerned. The statutes of the United
States, it is true, have no such prefix or
affix as "Thus saith the Lord!" but be-
hind them stand sixty millions OF coun-
try-loving people, and unanimously they
demand, revelation or no revelation, that
those statutes shall be respected.
What will the Saints do? Will they
continue in the unlawful practices which
their alleged revelations enjoin upon
them, or will they, like sensible men,
give heed to the signs of the times and,
listening to the promptings of reason,
place themselves in line with the millions
who, interpreting love of country and
obedience to all the laws of the land as
the first requirements of good citizen
ship. thus seek to serve God and do good
to their fellow-men?
1t is high time for the Saints to turn
their attention from the revelations al
legged to have been received by Joseph
Smith, and bestow some thought on the
laws of the United States, in which they
ought to be able to find much of the Di-
vine will revealed to man, even though
thew carry with, them no sThus saith the
Lordn' They should remember that all
laws that are beneficial to human society
arc Gods laws, no matter where or by
whom enacted. Where law gathers up
usage, where law authenticates what has
already been demonstrated by expert
ment, and gives toit the sanction of judg-
ment and conscience, that law is divine.
The Saints should now turn to study of
the laws of the country and see if in
them they cannot find some evidences of
the Divine will. The study might be very
profitable to them in view of the horrible
plight in which they now fiEd themselves.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-02-15
" WHAT IT MEANT" /"

In the Ogden Neps of Saturday we find
an article referring to recent utterances oi
the DEMOCRAT, from which We quote the
following extract:
A few days ago the Ne,cs quoted approx
ingly from the Salt Lake DEMOCRAT, that
"There must be d crisis in affairs here, and
all good citizens should do what they can to
hasten it, This expression of the DEMO
Graf has been maliciously and wrongly con-
strued to mean that citizens should commit
overt acts and precipitate an armed conflict.
Of course, such was not the meaning, and
only knave or fool would so construe it.
The Ne,cs construes the DEMooRAT's ex-
preston to mean that the laws are made
quate to meet the exigency which has arisen
here and to successfully maintain the su-
premacy of the Federal Government.
The NeWs is correct. The DEMOCRAT
meant to say just what it did say, neither
more nor less, and no honest or clear
headed person could construe the Ian
guage otherwise than as the NeWs has
done. The man who would seek to rouse
the passions of either party here so as to
lead them to commit overt acts and pre-
cipitate an armed conflict" could be
looked upon only as an enemy of the
people, and should be scourged out of the
community.
The DEMOCRAT has unfalteringly stood
by the law in the past; it will continue to
do so in the future. During the past
twelve months it has sought to make
clear to the masses here that continued
violations of the law could only result in
bringing to them discontinue and sorrow,
and to avoid that they have been en-
treated to cease their fool-hardy persist
ence in practices which are abhorred of
the American people, and to place them
selves within the laws of the land. IF
they will not voluntarily do that, then
must they be made to do it. Whose
violates the law and will not be warned
or drawn with kindness and patience
from that which is evil to themselves and
others, must go on and take the conse-
quences.
1t is apparent to all who have made a
study of the situation here, that existing
laws are inadequate to meet the exigences
of the case" That being SO, there Is
only one thing to do, and that is to ask
for and counsel the enactment by Con-
gress of such measures as will give us the
relief we need. Men cannot live in
community without taking dividend OF
its prosperity and of its adversely, there
fore, both for the sake OF the misguided
people of the Mormon Church and for
our own sake, we desire to see such
measures enacted as will forever settle
the trouble with which we are now
afflicted.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-02-15

UNTIL the London police have gained
the upper hand of the mob in that city
the dismal predictions of the English
press as to the ultimate destruction of
order in the United States by wave of
socialism will be suspended.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09


Until this country gets in the habit
Of shaking herself with an earthquake
two or three times per year the Amer
lean merchant has no show to compete
with the Mexican in the matter of GO
ing to the ~all and receiving a settle
ment from creditors. A Mexican dry
goods dealer who closed his doors the
other day begged to announce to his
various creditors:
Sowing to the earthquake which the
Lord sent US on the I'd inst. my store
was almost destroyed, my stock near
ly ruined, and several of my heaviest
debtors killed. / am, therefore CON-
PEELED to announce my great embar.
rassment, and to beg TO you to accept
80 cents on the dollar for my indebt-
edness. What the Lord wills He
wills. Loss only partially covered by
insurance" Wall Street News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

die ached before you would find cow
boy who carries dictionary with him.
For that reason the language used on
the general roundup is at times
dramatically incorrect, and many
of our leading cowboys spell "cavvy-
yard" with ok"
A college for riding, roping, brand
ing, cutting out, corralling, loading
and unloading, and handling cattle
generally, would be great boon to
our young men, who are at present
cropping in dark and pitable ignorance
of the habits Of the untutored COW.
Let the young man first learn how to
sit up three nights in succession,
through a bad March SHOW storm and
|hold" herd of restless cattle. Let
him then ride through the hot sun
and alkali dust a week or two, SUBJ
sisting on chunk of disagreeable
side pork just large enough to bait a
trap. Then let his horse fall Oh him
and injure his constitution and pre-
amble. All these things would give
the COW student an idea of how to ride
the range. The amateur who has
never tried to ride skittish and
sulky range has still great deal to
learn.
Perhaps | have said too much Oh
this subject, but when get thorough
ly awakened on this great porter
house steak problem | am apt to car
ry the matter too far.-Bill Nye in
Chicago News,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
Breaking in Gently.

"What is the matter with you, Col
onel, you look troubled?" said Gus De
Smith to Colonel Yerger.
81 am in terrible fix, Gus"
"What's the matter now?"
"You know my wife is very nervous.
If the slightest thing goes wrong she is
liable to have spasms."
"Well, has anything gone wrong ?"
81 should say so. She is devoted to
her father. He died in st. Louis four
weeks ago, but she doesn't know it.
Nobody in the family has the courage
to tell her about it. / don't know
what to do"
"I'll tell you what. Let me break
it to her. I've got tact, and l can do
it in such a way that she will scarcely
feel the shock"
"God bless you! Go right into the
parlor and have it over"
Gus stroked his mustache and saun-
tered into the room where, looking
like a picture of despair, Mrs. Yerger
was sitting on sofa evidently absorbed
in deep thought.
"Good morning, Mrs. Yerger, are
you not feeling well p
81 am not feeling well at all, l am
very anxious about my dear father"
"Ah Perhaps he is better eff"
81 can't tell how he is coming on. l
haven't had letter from him in seven
weeks"
"Seven weeks !" exclaimed Gus, with
a merry laugh. "Why there is moth
ing strange about that. My father
has been dead for fifteen years and l
haven't had a letter from him in all
that time. Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
Too Particular for Him.

what church do you belong to
now, Abe ?" was asked of colored
gentleman.
"Mefodist, sah."
"Why, no longer ago than last Sun.
day you were Baptist"
"Yes, sah."
"What made you change p
Case da got too high up fur me,
boss. wy, sab, dc preacher made a
statement, an got up and called him
a liar, an da tuck me ter taw about it.
Da said dat l oughter said dat he
didn't tell de truf, but ter save me
kahn tell de difference twixt suthin'
what amt true an er lie, 50 l thought
eff da was gwine ter be SO particular,
Pde 60 ober ter dc odder church whar
u man ken slosh er roun' nachul." =
Arkansaw Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

He was torn and tattered. Stop
ping before a clothing store, his eyes
rested ON wire form dressed in q
full suit of stylish locking clothes.
Instinctively he approached IL; in an
instant his arms were about the figure
and he had lifted il from the ground
in an absent minded manner, and was
about rushing of, when his eye rested
upon a policeman on the opposite COR
ner. He replaced the figure with con-
sumate haste, and, as he fingered to
contemplate it, he was heard to re-
mark: "No; it looks well enough,
but them colors'll fade, the cut isn't
just the thing. and the sewing is nigh
ty poor. Guess I'll have to look else
where" And he slouched off with
his hands In his pockets and q look
Of ineffable scorn in his sad, weary
eyes, Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

The cruelty of woman's criticism
sometimes goes beyond life. "Did
you ever see a more natural corpse
than Mrs. Podson p asked a lady of a
friend. "Such a contented smile."
"Contcnted smile, repeated the friend.
ut was all put on."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

The FREE PREss is pure family newspaper that
your wife and children can read without injury 10
,heir morals. IL is an educator, and, in order TO
keep up with the Industrial scientific and literary
life OF the day, every family should take it.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

PArEn FoR EVERY DAY IN THE YrAn.
PRICE, 500 A YEAR, or rs CENTS WEEK.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09


"If what, Johnnie p
Johnnie, goarded to desperation by
the delay: "If you can reach it,
N. Y. Life.
The sky, unlike man, is most cheer
ful when the bluest.-Worcester Ga
zette.
The grass, unlike man, is most de-
lightful when greenest.-Merchant
Traveller
The moon, unlike man. is the most
brilliant when fullest.-Lynn Union.
"Do you know man by the name
of Legien?" inquired Dumley of a
friend.
Legion No, l never heard of
him."
jenkins told me last night that |
had been called the biggest fool jack
ass on earth, and when l demanded
the mans name he said it was Legion.
I'm looking for hin" Puck.
"If you give me bite to eat"
said tramp to a washerwoman, 81
will hold up your clothes line for you
little while"
"Hold up my clothes line! How
can you hold up my clothes liner
Easily enough. I'm a foreigner,
you know, ole."-Boston Courier.
"Say, Ponsonby, that orange grove
speculation in Florida proved dead
failure, / am told. You didn't real
ize anything, now, did you ?"
ooh, yes
"Ah, indeed. What did you real
ize ?"
81 realized that l had made fool
of myself" lf."-Philadelphia Call.
whats the expressage on impond-
erables I" asked Blummer of the
agent, who was pasting label on a
box.
"On imponderables, sir? What's
imponderables ?" said the agent, look
ing up.
"Well, something that can't be
weighed"
"We can weigh anything on them
scales"
"No, you can't. want to express
an opinion" and he softly glided out.
Life.
De Terwilliger: "Well, Jimpson,
you seem worried"
Jimpson II have reason to be.
My poor cid father"
De Terwilliger: "Not dead ?"
Jimpson: "No, but very feeble.
lie Is past ~, you know, and may
drop off any time."
De Terwilliger: "You will miss
him sadly"
Jimpson; II should say so. If
he dies I'll have to hire q man to take
care of the horses and do the garden
ing. ."-Philadelphia Call.
Hello, old man, where are you
boundW inquired the conductor of
an acquaintance in the smoking car.
"Going back east" was the re-
sponse, rather sourly.
"Have you quit railroading out in
Idaho"
eyes, l have"
whats the matter?'
"Oh, ] don't want TO run locomo-
tive in country where towns die off
so fast that in places where we get our
dinners one day, the next day we stop
as usual and look all around, but not
a shanty is to be seen. / like my
dinners regularly, do, and no more
Idaho in mine, please. Chicago
Herald.
He was torn and tattered. Stop
ping before a clothing store, his eyes
rested on a wire form dressed in
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
WIT AND HUMoR.

Living on tick-telegraph opera
tors.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

A sound Observation-Disclosures
stock.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

. Dhllys
Daily except Sunday.
Connect az Marquette with the Marquette,
Houghton Ontonagon r. II. for points in Wiscon-
sp and ths Copper country. 2 connect with Iri-
weekly stage for Manistque. Tr-weekly stage
for Grand Marais. Daily stage for Sault Ste
Marie. Express trains Nos. l and make close
connections with night trains from aud 90 all East
srn and Canadian points, on both Michigan Central
and Grand Rapids Indiana railroads.
No trains run south from Mackiuac City satur-
dsy nights. No trains run north 10 Mackinac City
Monday mornings.
A WATSON. r.. w. ALLEN,
GenT Sup't. Gcn1 Pass. T'k't Agt.
Marquette, Mich. Marquette, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

The Detroit Free Press is the only sheet
~, IN ine whole State that gives you ali the news
Nothing left out cut down, or incomplete.
FOR lack OF room no paragraph you lose
AS IN the smaller papers Of the town.
Ihat clip, pare, mangle, obscure and omit;
The news you want you don't want so boiled down
That sense and value are boiled out Of IT,"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

"YOu are pretty as a picture" he
muttered, gazing into her upturned
face, "and it would have been great
deal cheaper for me if l had taken
your picture instead of yourself."-
FIX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
TOT HeUTdIgid.
.',e-.-s
For Rheumatism.
Doctor Thomas Eciectric oil.

"Spent Fifty Dollars
In doetorirg for rheumatism, before ! tried
this medicine. and got out in one week. For burns
and spIains II is exc,llent." Jas. Durham. East
Pembroke, N. Y.
You Can Depend On IL.
For severe Toothache and Neuralgia Of the
head, ! used 7hsmas' Ecisef,ie OIL This II
certainly the best thing ever knew for the re-
lief Of pain OF any kind. The house Is never with
out IT," Mrs. A. NJ. Frank, III Tupper Street,
Buffalo, N. Y.
LOG
Speaks Right Up.
Have tired Iberaf' Eciecfyfc oil for Group
and colds, and hnd il ihe besi remedy ! have
Ave-, Buffalo, N. Y.
Worked wonders.
My daughter very bad of on account Of
cold and pain in her lungs. Dr.. TIsras' &c
i,ef,fe OH eS,sd hsy in iiUfnty;/es1 hssys. One
Of the boys was cured Of sore throat. This medi-
cine has worked wonders in our family" Al
yah Pnekney, Lake Mahopae, MY.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
MICHIGAN CENTRAL

The Niagara Falls Po@te.
Arrival and departure of trains noted below us
Iollowss
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
Detroit, Bay City 4 AIpena R.R
Time Table No. 6.
TRAINS GOING SOUTH. TRAINS GOING NORTH.
Mail and Express. Mail and Express

All trains run by the Ninetieth Meridian on Cen
tral Standard time
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09
COMBINATION OFFERS !
ARGUS AND FREE PRESS
One Year, S2.25, ~

Or clubbed with any or all the above
combination.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

"Say, Ponsonby, that orange grove
speculation in Florida proved dead
failure, / am told. You didn't real
ize anything, now, did u?"
ooh, yes"
"Ah, indeed. What did you real
ize ?"
81 realized that | had made fool
of myself" ."-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

Judge; Prisoner, have you any
thing to say before sentence is passed
on your" .
Prisoner: "Yes, your honor; l
request that the time occupied by my
counsel be taken from the sentence" "
-Fliengende Blaetter.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

Young hopeful, to his sister: 81
say, Nell, pass me the butter"
Nell, in tone of sisterly reproof
"If what, Johnnie?"
Johnnie, goarded to desperation by
the delay: "If you can reach it,
N. Y. Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-09

"If you give me bite to eat"
said tramp to a washerwoman, 81
will hold up your clothes line for you
little while"
"Hold up my clothes linel How
can you hold up my clothes line p
Easily enough. I'm foreigner,
you know, q Pole. boston Courier.
Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1886-01-01
4 Beautiful Incident.

A poor Arab travelling in the de-
sert met with a spring of clear, sweet,
sparkling water. Used as he was
only to brakish wells, such water as
this appeared to his simple mind
worthy of q monarch, and filling his
leathern bottle from the spring, he de-
termined to go and present it to the
Caliph himself.
The poor man trayeled long way
before he reached the presence of his
sovereign, and laid his humble offering
at his feet. The Caliph did not des-
pise the little gift brought to him with
SO much trouble. He orderd some Of
tho water to be poured into cup,
drank it, and thanking the Arab with
smile, ordered him to he presented
with reward. The courtiers around
pressed forward, eager to taste of the
wonderful water; but to The surprise OF
all, the Caliph forbade them to touch
a single drop.
After the poor Arab had quilted the
royal presence with light and joyfu
heart, the Caliph turned to his court
iers and thus explained his conduct
During the travels of the Arab, saie
he, ''the water in his leathern bottle
became impure and distasteful. But
it was an offering of love, and as sucl
| have received it with pleasure. Bu'
| we'll knew that had suffered another
to paltake of it, he would not have con
cealcd his disgust; and, therefore, for
bade you to touch the draught, lest th'
heart of the poor man would have beel
, wounded.
Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1886-01-01

Il COMITTNIC4TION.

EDITOR REVIEW: In the controversy.
whether Democrats have done right in
supporting Republican for senator,
there is yet another view to be taken.
A legislator, whether elected as Dem
ocrat or Republican, becomes rep
resentat,ve, not only Of those who
voted for him but of his whole consti-
tuency. Therefore, if a Democrat can
not help to elect man of his own par.
ty, he may still serve his people by Sc
lecting the lesser evil of two Repuli-
cans, and try to elect his choice. Now
nobody will deny, that betwixt Mitch
ell and Williams, Mitchell is the most
able, and can do more for our state
than any other Republican; he is also
one who does not think himself above
common folks, but has done and is will
ing to do fayors to any one of his con
stituents, which other senators failed
to do. Of this I know several in
stances. WIN. THIEL.
Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1886-01-01

Patents granted to citizens Of the
Pacific states on Dec. 9Th, 1885, and
reported expressly for the 'REyIEw,
by G. A. Snow l. Co. Patent lawyers
opp. U. S. Patent Office, Washington,
D. G. E. Berman, Los Angeles, Cal.
Watchman's time detector, J. n. S.
Williams, San Francisco, Cal. Rotary
cutter, NJ. Fl. burst. Wheatband Cal
Baling press, J. A. Gallagher, Stock
ton, Cal. Vehicle, Il. F. Gibbs, San
Francisco, Cal. Saw set, J. C. Kelton
San Francisco, CAL Cartridge Pack
G. H. Kinzer, Grants Pass, Greg.
Journal box, G.. F. Schild, Vallejo, Cal
Map attachment A. J. Stevens, Sac
ramento, Cal. Water purefier, J. Fl
Bolles, San Francisco Cal. Dredger
w. Fl. NIilliken, San Francisco, Cal
Gripping defed, w. J. Butler, Salinas
Cal. Taking up lost motion, S. B. Davi.
Eureka, Cal. Horse collar, A. A. d.
Puy, San Francisco, Cal. Food com
pound.
Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1886-01-01
DIR. MIN TIE
The GREAT English gEMEDY.

No. II KEARSEY ST, SAN FRANCISCO. CAL
Treats all Chronic, Special and Private
n;saosass n VI f,n.t..rfui SUCCESS
Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1886-01-01
vi RIETIES.

AN epicurean doctor says that in
order to obtain the full flavor of but
ter, the bread upon which it is spread
should be introduced into the mouth
with the buttered surface downward
I wonder how many Christians there
are who SO thoroughly believe God
made them that they can laugh in
kGod's name; who understand that God
invented laughter and gave it to his
children. The lord God delights in
the laughter of merry heart.
'FThat man is Christian" remarked
resident of Brooklyn, as he pointed
to his neighhor across the street.
allow do youknow?" asked his friend.
"because, when he sprinkles the street
he always vets my side too.
A little quiet shutting of the mouth
when we are tempted to tell what we
"heard about somebody" would soon
cure that abominable, soul-cursing,
Misunderstanding habit of small talk in
which we indulge.
Tue fourteen women who were grad
uated from the school for trained
nurses in New York the other day will
probably do more to make life worth
living during the next quarter of cen
tury than the class Of newlY-fledged
soldiers that was sent forth from West
Point last Summer with all the poml
and circumstance of their GLORIOUS
profession of war-Proyidence Star
Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1886-01-01
CowETA ADVERTISER.

COWETA ADVERTISER.
And the following MINISTER'S:
W. w. Wadsworth, pastor Method
dist Church: J. III. Hall, pastor Baptist
church.
And the following CAPITALISTS:
U. 3. Wilkinson, Banker.
Joseph Kerby, cashier NcwnAn
National Bank. \
John B. Wllcoxon, manufactured
r. d. Cole IL Co., manufacturers,
employing 125 men.
John Stephens, of Mcbride IL Co.,
manufacturers, Gotten seed oil mills
John Manly, proprietors Virginia
hotel.
I. NJ. Jones, "religiously, financially
and politically"
And the following physicians:
j. 7. Reese, N. D., G. D. Smith,
NJ. D., (''no wound without cause, to
dress. &c. w. Peddy, Nj. D.
And the following
LAWYERS:
w. A. Turner, chairman judiciary
committee.
L. H. Featherstone, ex.judge supe
rior court.