Smyrna times., 1886-12-15
GBc Smgrna Jimes,
Smyrna, DeI.,
Wednesday Afternoon, Dec. Is, 1885
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

Sharp, Short and Sunny.
An exile who has home nowhere is
like dead man without grave.
Instinct would lead man to the devil,
if reason did not stand in the way.
Who says you cannot reason with a
woman? You can reason with a woman.
And generally that is all the good it
will do.
Henry Ward Beecher said a few days
since, 1 have no sympathy with eight
hour men who have fourteen hour
wives"
A few days ago Mr.. Jones, of Water
loo, Kansas, had twelve children
now he has thirteen and has named
the last Chestnut"
Josh Billings says very aptly: "a
broken reputation is like a broken vase
it may be mended, but always shows
where the crack was"
Some people are forever running in
debt. Sir Walter Raleigh once said
Borrowing is the canker and the
death Of every mans estate"
Luther says: For truth it is ever
the fitting time who waits till circum-
stances completely favor his undertake
ing will never accomplish anything"
Coming in nside to get warm ?" asked
one friend of another on Main street to-
day. I'm warm inside" replied the
other; "its my outside that isn't right"
Jean Paul Richter says: "No school
is more necessary to children than pa
tience, because either the will must be
broken in childhood or the heart in old
age"
Why is a reddish horse like horse
raddish? Because we can't test the
speed of one, nor the virtue of the
other, without putting a bit in the
mouth.
Jack, please don't. You muss my
hair" said a Main street beauty the
other evening. But Jack kept right
on, on the ground that if he mussed he
he must.
Can you use this?" timidly inquired
the poet, as he laid bundle on the
desk. " think l can, said the editor,
aflably. Il am just about to start a
fire in the Office stOve."
1t viii cost $50 a day to light up the
Statue of Liberty. This is about what
it costs to educate some fashionable
daughters and afterwards they hide
their light under bushel.
There is a New York restaurant
where the patrons devour their dinner
to the soft strains of a brass band.
Truly, music hath charms to sOothe the
savage breast-Of chicken.
Bacon once said ITO seek for theo-
logy in philosophy is to seek for the liv-
ing among the dead and tc seek for
philosophy in theology is to seek for
the dead among the living"
Now is the time for the appearance
of new almanacs, containing patent
medicine testimonials with names of
people and places we never heard of
and dates away back in the time of
Elijah.
While some parts of the country
have been wrestling with a heavy fall
OF snow, in California the flowers still
give out their fragrance and the grass
IS green. This leads the California pa
pers to bring out their old articles en-
titled California as a Winter Resort"
The White Star Steamship Company
reduced its prepaid steerage rates from
$50 to SIS. This may lead to a spirited
war, as it is probable that the other
English lines will follow the White
Stars cut. The White Star outward
steerage rates to England are still the
same as those Of the other lines.
A woman is bound to have the last
word. When the editor of The PeaUine
demonstrated with the principal CON
trbutOr to the Poets Corner of his
valuable sheet for writing on both sides
of her paper. She quietly retorted,
Well, and don't you print on both
sides of yours ?"-B0stOn Transcript.
A Philadelphia theatrical manager
says he intends to keep on changing
and improving" a certain play until it
perfectly conforms to the public de-
mands." 1t is believed that if he car
rles out his intentions there will be
nothing left of the play but strong
ballet, two or three bloOdhounds. pair
OF mules, and about $4,000 worth of
diamonds and Worth dresses. Norris
torn Herald.