The Washington critic., 1886-06-29

year scCOnu UuIc, Lnrte years Cultl nhtb
and thirty-une capt'in. The Journal
questions whether there Is another man
alive with such record.
GENERAL AND CHITICULAE.
When the new Windsor Hotel is built we
move that Senator Cullom's hat be chalked
perpetually, and when the Monumental
Bridge is opened that Senator Spooner be
given life pass over It.
Mr.. Jere Murphy, NJ. c., has returned
from cruise on the Hennepin Canal. When
Admiral Murphy retlres from Congress he
should apply for the position of Secretary
Of the Navy.
Major Pruden, A. Z. p. S. assistant
Presidential Private Secretary, wants an
appropriation for the purchase OF wheel
barrow, to relieve his burden in carrying
veto messages from the White House to
the Capitol. The Major ought to have
it, too.
We're going to have Monumental Bridge,
Extending, 1t is said, from ridge to ridge;
And the story may be true,
But between we, us and you
You will see
1t will be
A monumental time until we do.
Mr.. Cobb Of Indiana and Mr.. Laird OF
Nebraska got real ugly ut each other In the
House yesterday on the land question.
"Dont threaten me-" yelled Mr.. Laird;
"DOn' I threaten me, ~ said Cobb,
"For when it comes TO public lands
| think | know job
And then they shook their CORY fists
Right at each others face,
And savagely they chewed their chops
Cross sixty feet Of space.
They ripped the floor all up In spots,
They kicked their chairs around,
They glared across that open space
And finally sat down.
When Messrs. Peters and Perkins of Kan
sHs are turned loose on the public land
question they are great.
"Did you ever, ever, ever
In your life, life, life,
See the devil, devil, devil,
And his wife. wife, wife,
On en-mile level,
A-scratchng up the gravel
With their big toe nails?"
Well, If you didn't then you can't ap-
preciate the two P's from Kansas.
IT was "Bleeding Kansas in the House
yesterday when the fraudulent land warrant
business had its turn.
Senator Sherman went to "Mikadon last
week and laughed so at "The Flowers that
Bloom in the Spring, ira la,' that he has
been wearing plaster on his ribs, ira la,
ever since.
Mr.. Morrison desires to secure the re
demption of U. s. securities to the extent
of the Treasury surplus.
Your Morrison fights with the strength of
despair,
Albeit, somewhat of schemer;
Having failed as the Savior of tariff re-
form,
He appears as surplus Redeemer.
Hon. Thomas b. Reed of Maine spent a
| portion Of last evening looking over the
machines at the Bicycle Park on New York
avenue, presumably with the object of
purchase;
Hail, Thomas on the flying wheel,
With tire Of rubber, spoke of steel
How like pretty butterfly,
You float in whrlng circles by;
Your graceful limbs In tights encased
A fairy belt about your waist,
A pair OF shoes Of canvas red,
| y jaunty cap upon your head.
No swallow, floating in the blue,
| Can bear comparison with you,
When on the wheel yOu whrl along,
| Like measures Of u waltzing song.
There's music in your motions, true,
| On quiet streets or avenue;
| \ wOndruus grace, we see and feel
| Is raYeled from your spinning wheel.
Hail, Ihomas-what ? BY Jove Go slow
| He's took header down below
"By Joye, Tom said one Harvard mar
to another on the Avenue yesterday, show
did it happen that Columbia laid it on tC
| Harvard so thick :"
"Bah,n was the dsgusted reply. 90
guess our boys must have been deyotnl
themselves TO their studies and neglectinl
business. They make me tired, I'd like t.
| know what man goes to college for, any
how,n and he swore an oath in baseball
! latin.
THE CONGRESSIONAL BALL.
When summer suns begin to burn,
Then Congress may, perhaps, adjourn.
i WASHINGTON CRITIC.