davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
The Senlry's Reply.

The lack of discipline in the Union
army in the early part of the war Is ex-
emplifed by a couple of anecdotes told
by Col w. A. James, an old and we'll
known veteran: "Whcn we were in the
defenses before Washington in 1861
General Doubleday, a rigid martinez,
was in command of the brigade, which
was made up almost entirely of young
and unframed soldiers. One of them, a
lank and overgrown Westerner, was do
ing picket duty one day when Double
day, glorious in gilt and brass, rode by
on his charger, accompanied by his en-
tire staff. AS they passed the big
Westcrner stared at them with open
mouthcd wonder, and neglected to
salute. The General noticed the error,
and rode back with fire in his ego.
'What is your name2" he asked the
picket.
The picket told him.
"Well, | am General Doubleday, COM
handing the defenses of Washington. "
care We, indeed2' said the soldier,
nonchalantly. WAL, ye hev gosh
fired fine job, and l hope ye can hold
it,
The General galloped off again with
out a word.
At another time a soldier who was
digging trench hit his captain on the
head with clod of dirt. The olEcer
rushed up and reprimandcd the private
"Now, look-a-here, Capt" said the
latter, my business here is digging and
yours is bossing the company on parade,
and if you attend to your business I'll
attend to mine"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
What SO MANY People Fight About and
Why They Do 1t.

Just previous to the opening of the
meeting Elder JuneDerry Davis and
Judge Holdback Johnson got into a
dispute as to whether the croW-b Pc
longed to the Glacial Epoch or the Drift
Period, and after some hot words had
passed the Elder punched the Judge on
the nose and received crack on the jaw
in return. Brother Gardner came in as
they were pulled apart, but he seemed
to take no notice of the affair and moth
ing was said until the meeting opened.
Then he looked around the hall and OBJ
served:
'Tf Elder Juneberry Davis an Judge
Holdback johnson am in de hall to-
night should like to spoke q few re-
marks to EN-"
Both gentlemen walked forward to
the platform with anxiety depicted on
their faces, and the President con-
tinued:
'Elder Davis, when did dat Glacial
Epoch take placer"
Il dunno, sah."
"Judge Holdback, what do you know
bout de Drift PeriodG"
81 reckon dar' was q good deal O.
driftin' aroun' sab"
eyes, 1 s'pose dar' was. Didn't
happen to drift any Eaters an meat your
way, did it7"
mo, sah"
'sElder Davis, did that Glacial Epoch
pay up any of your back rent or git new
shoes fur de chillen2"
"No, sah."
"Dat's huff; you kin both sot down.
While I blame two old members like
you for sottin, bad example befo' de
club, must at de same time acknowl-;
edge dat it am only de weakness of hu
man natur' Moas' of US would sooner
fight over de aige of de world dan to re-
sent straight insult.
"We would argy longer to convince
man about de size of Noah's ark dan to
convert him to our religun of de present
day.
1--WE let our chil'en go bar'fut while
we hunt for evidence to convict de Gauls
of shiftlessness.
eve spend hours assertin' an denyin'
dat de moon am inhabited, while fifteen
minutes used to fix de bottom hinge on
de front gait am looked upon as time
frown away.
''While we sot an wonder why Sodom
an Gomorrah didn't behaved eirselves
and escape destruckshun, de ole woman
scrapes de bottom of de flour bar'l, an
de fab goes out in de kitchen stove.
"Jist what aige the crow-bar belongs
to, or who invented it, or why it was IN
vented, am queshuns which needn't
trouble any member of dis club. The
fack dat de crow-bar am heah wild US
should Salty all. Let us now purceed
to attack de dizziness which has called
us together. "-Detr0it Free Press.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Something About Catarrh,

A great many people are afflicted with Ca
tarrh who do not know what ais them; and a
great many more continue sufferers who
might be cured.
Thickeningof the membrane which lines the
nasal passages, thus making breathing diff
cult; discharge from the nOstrils, more or
less copious, watery or thick, according to the
stage of the disease; a sense of fullness in the
head; a constant inclination to spit; and, in
advanced cases, a dropping Of intensely dis
gushing matter into the throat, are a few of the
prominent symptoms of Catarrh.
Deafness, infamed eyes, neuralgia paiRs, sore
throat and a loss of sense of smell, are very
often caused by Catarrh.
All these troubles are cured by Piso's Rene
dy for Catarrh, Relief is had Immediately
after beginning its use, but it is important that
it be continued without intermission until the
catarrhal virus is expelled from the system
and healthy secretions replace the diseased
action Of the mucous membrane. Manifestly
it is unreasonable to expect cure in a short
time of disease that has been progressing for
months or years.
This question of time is provided for in the
putting up of Pisos Remedy for Catarrh. 1t is
SO concentrated that a very small dose is
directed. The quantity in ono package is suf-
ficient for long treatment, consequently the
expense is mere trifie, and there is no excuse
for neglect nor reason for it but forgetfulnesS.
A cold in the head is relieved by an applca7
cation of Pso's Remedy for Catarrh. The
comfort to be got from it in this way is worth
many times the cost.
The following letters are specimens Of those
received every day, testifying to the worth of
Piso's Remedy for Catarrh:
ALLEGHENY, Pa, Sept, 20, 1885.
Piso's Remedy for Catarrh is doing wonders
for mo. l believe it will cure any case of Ca
tarrh, If used according to directions
Mrs. +. JOHNSON. 40 Z. Diamond St
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Fools and Their Money.

A New York. letter to Boston Herald
says:-It is really singular what craze
some people have to find some way in
which to get rid of their money. You
see that here more frequently than in
any other city in the country. This
throwing away of cash by the young
society people adds greatly to the sum
of unhappiness and frequently brings
the young men into trouble. Berry
Wall, the king of the dudes, is an ex-
ample. He has got away down in the
scale now,. so that you frequently hear
of HIM in singular escapades. Fast
horses, the card table and fippant
women have eaten up large fortune
for him, and were it not that he has
some good qualities about him that
keep his relatives, who are still rich,
ready to provide for his wants, he
would soon be beyond the pale of the
society in which he has been so long a
curious and notorious figure. Frequent
ly he is heard of being in trouble with
rounds now that recently at the gaming
table friend of his quit owing him
$500. The brother dude gave him
check on his father for the amount.
The old gentleman, it is said, refused
to recognize the draft, and Mr.. Wall is
now to bring suit for the recovery of
the money. OF course it will be settled
leefore conin<S To- tbs ss1arts, but if it
could 90 to jury the exposure of the
methods and practices of the young
swells of New York society would be
very interesting and instructive read
ing,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

GLOVES AT A DIscoUNT-The New
Orleans Picayune says:-Gen. Pryor's
daughter wore no gloves at her marriage
ceremony. Gen. Pryor's daughter is q
leader of fashion. 1t is proper that
fashionable society should take this
stand. 1t is awkward to keep a whole
congregation waiting while a brides
hand is being ungloved to receive the
marriage ring. But there is better
reasan for dispensing with gloves at a
wedding. If a woman expects or wants
to boss a man she must handle him with
out gloves from the start, and not be
imposed upon through the honeymoon.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Tools and Civilization.

''In tracing the course of invention
and discovery" says Charles H. Ham in
his new work on 'Manual training,n 81
found that l was moving in the line OF
the progress of civilization. l found that
the great gulf between the savage and
the civilized man is spanned by the seven
hand tools-the axe, the saw, the plane.
the hammer, the square, the chisei, and
the file-and that the modern machine
shop is an aggregation of these tools
driven by steam. | hence came to re
gard tools as the great ciYilizing agency
of the world"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
SOwER AND SEED.

a kindly word, and kindly deed,
a helpful hand in time of need,
With strong true heart
To do his part
Thus went thesower out with his seed,
Nor stayed in his toll to name his creed.
coat OF arms, nor silken crest,
NO purple or linen about his breast,
But royalty q rue
To the purpose in view
Was his ceaseleSs search, and his constan
quest,
FOR suffering souls in need of rest.
Feehng for others, bearing their pain,
Freeing the letters, undoing the chain,
From sorrow and tears,
He wro ught the bright years
StlA unknown to rank, and unknown t.
fame,
letters OF light Col writesa his n anne.
Ella Dare, in T1ter-Ocean.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

WHY NoT.-A well-to do farmer OF
Wilkes County went to Athens few
days ago to do trading, and while there
he had his picture taken, and when he
reached home he presented it to his
wife, who, on seeing it, asked him why
he was so selfish about it, why didn't he
bring picture of her also. He tried to
explain. but she would not be comfort
ed.-Sagdnnah NeJCS.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
'Hillol ANYBODY homer

a
''Hillol Anybody home?"
Coming to our room door, he knocked,
then turned the handle, but of course
found it locked. Being unable to speak,
l yet tried to groan, and made some in
articulate noises; but 1 could hardly hope
the old man heard them, as he was some
what deaf. AS for my companion in
misfortune, one would suppose he would
gladly have hailed prison as an escape
from such plight as he was in; and so !;
no doubt, he would, only he had no
choice at that moment, having gone off
again in heavy swoon.
l heard the carpenter go downstairs,
and hopes of relief died away in my
breast. Oh, Joy, Joy, why did you come
to mock me thus2 Two more hours prob
ably before Ted will be home! Shall be
alive by then? My bound and aching
limbs were on the rack of pain; lay and
sobbed miserably But harkl A shout
from the back gardenl
"What the dickens is all this?" Again
1 heard the voice of Joy.
1t appeared that the carpenter, on
trying our room door, and finding it fas-
tened, concluded we were all out, but
went around to the back of the house
''to have a look at that theer winder"
which my brother had sent him to mend
of course not expecting to find it con-
verted into man-trap. He had noticed,
while knocking at the street door, that
the parlor window was unfastened; and
thinking it unsafe, especially as Mrs.
Brown was out, he had used his privilege
as our old friend and hers to get through
and fasten it before coming upstairs.
No doubt the thief had entered the house
by that way.
1t was not long before help came, and
the door was broken open, when our
misery was ended. / dare say, since
prisons were first built, there never was
a culprit who walked into gaol more
meekly than did the one who had in
tended to rob my brother.
They say the poor fellows hands will
never be right again; amputation may be
necessary, as erysipelas is setting in.
Well, all / can say is, l freely forgive
him for the suffering, mentally and
| bodily, he caused me-.
| was in bed for fortnight, but even
tually got all right again. Dear Ted
says l am brick; but that may be his
partiality. Anyhow my footstool proved
/ to be very effective safe. To this hour
no one knows about it but you, Ted, and
| myselfi
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

Why do we defer till tomorrow what we can
do to-day2 Why do we neglect a cough till it
throws us into consumption, and consumption
brings us to the grave? DR. WIN. HALLS BAL
SAM is sure to cure if taken in season. 1t has
never been known to fail Use it thoroughly,
according to directions. Persevere till the dis
easeis conquered, as it is certain to be, even
II 1t should require dozen bottles. There Is
no better medicine for pulmonary disorders.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

The harmful and fatal results attend
ing the use of cough mixtures containing
morphia, opium and other poisons, are
daily becoming more frequent. 1t is for
this reason that Red Star Cough Cure has
received the unqualified endorsement of
physicians, and Boards of Health every
where, as a purely vegetable compound,
entirely free from all narcotics. Price,
twentV-fiye cents
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

THE ice of Fresh Pond, near Cam
bridge, Mass, is cut almost wholly for
export to India. A late fire destroyed
the ice houses in which a supply was
stored, and the HIndoos will have to
cool their lemonade with ice from some
other lake.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

IMPAIRED VITALITY.-When you feel
as if the vital powers were giving way,
strength gone, spirits depressed, memory
failing, appetite lost, exhaustion stealing
over every sense and paralyzing every
energy, then is the time to resort to that
powerful ally of nature, DIR. WALKERS
VEGETABLE VINEGAR BITTERs. 1t soon
works a glorious renovation in the sys-
lem
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Didn't Remove his Hat.

A former Bulfalonian with his wife,
not long ago visited his mother IN this
city. His return to his former home was
signal for his friends to make it as
pleasant for him as they could, and the
consequence was succession of Jolly
evenings and late hours. The mother,
who was something of an invalid, slept
on the ground floor just off from the
hall, and the son, with his wife, was
given the guest chamber up stairs. OAe
evening, or more correctly, perhaps, one
morning, the young wifewas awakened by
her cornwall spouse's entering the room,
and being thoroughly aroused, she OBJ
served that, while he had removed his
ovcrcoat, his hat was still on his head.
''Why, my dear" she expostulated,
"why didn't you take your hat OFF down
stairs?"
Cause. m love, " he explained, didn't
want t. make any noise fear of 'sturbing
mother"
ooh, l sce," she observed quietly, as
she turned over in bed; 81 suppose you
were afraid it would pop"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

"A Word 10 the Wise Is suIlicient."
CataTrh is not simply an inconvenience, I'M
pleasant to the sufferer and disgusting to
others-it is advanced outpost of approach
ing disease of worse type. Do not neglect its
warning; it brings deadly evils in its train.
Before it is too late, use DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. 1t reaches the seat If the ailment,
and is the only thing that will. You may dose
yourself with quack medicines till it is too late
till the streamlet becomes n reSistlesS tor
rent. 1t is the matured invention OF a scen-
tiiic phsican."A word to the wise is sufficient"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

VARIOUS processes have been brought
forward for producing q satisfactory
substitute for the ordinary wooden pail,
and the most successful effort in this di-
rection appears to have been accom-
plished with paper pulp.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Getting Even.

Ike Sloan was farmer. but wasn't
exactly one of the type whose "critters''
and vegetables always bring more none
than other peoples. On the contrary,
if there was any difference between the
price that he got for. his products and
the market rates it was generally to his
disadvantage, One day on his way back
from the village he complained bitterly
to the people with whom he gossiped
along the road that the storekeeper had
abused him most shamefully by giving
him only nine cents pound for his
maple sugar.
"But, gol dern HIM, "said Sloan, with
a chuckle, 81 got even with him, for /
put morc'n two dozen buckctfuls OF
water into the sap before billed it"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
The Richest MINI in the World

would be poor without health. The dying mil /
lionaire consumptive would exchange all he is
worth for a new lease of life. lie could have
had it for a song had he used DR.. Flerces
Golden Medical Discovery" before the DIS
ease had reached its last stages. This wonder
full prepare ion is positive cure for consump-
tion if taken in time. For all diseases OF the
throat and lungs it is unequaled. All druggists.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

Neuralgia and kindred diseases
promptly yield to the immediate actor
of St. Jacobs Oil, the pain conqueror.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

LOOK TO Try Dung man, it is a
good thing to keep on the right side OF
your dollar. 1t makes a great differ
ence in your comfort and prosperity
whether you spend 80 per cent. or 100
per cent of it, bat it is positive in
suit to dollar to spend 105 per cent.
of it. You will be sorry enough for it
when the dollar gets a fair grip upon
YOU. A dollar resents a mortgage upon
itfelf. 1t Will never serve you cheer
fully if you dispose of it before you
get it.-SprinQfeE4 Union.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

Delicate diseases of either sex, however IN
duced, promptly, thoroughly and permanently
cured. Send 10 cents in STA nps for large Illus
tratcd treatise, suggesting sure means of cure.
Address, Worlds D:speusary Medical Associa-
ton, G63 Main street, Buffalo, n. Y.
Scandal is re1anse of rnmnr tism
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

srop that Cough, that tickling in the throaU
STOp that Consumptive Condition.
You can be cured You cant ailor1 " w on
viii do it quickly and permanently. 70 Genus
r+,s nv copvinr after nature that man gets
hast resuItsf Dr. Jones Red Glover Tonic -
natures own remedy, is purely vegetable, can
he taken by the most delicate cures ar S"'As-
sch, kidney and liver troubles 6O Genus.
Fon spzo1ALRArEs for advertising In this Paper
a pply to the publisher Of the paper. III
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

HARTFORD MILLS, n. y, Aug. !, 1885.
have used a little over half package OF
PISCES Remedy for Catarrh, and it has helped
me more than any of the different medicines /
me.
can and do recommend it to others who
are troubled with that disease.
REV. A. DAMON
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
HARrEoRn MILLs. ~. Anr 8 rs

SPKING HILL, W. va, Oct. q, 1870
Enclosed find one dollar for two packages OF
Piso's Remedy for Catarrh. The sample
package, received in June, gave perfect salts
faction. GILL MESSER.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
MENsMAN's PEproNIzEp nEEE TONIC, the onll

MENsMANs PEPTONIZED BEEF TONIC, the only
preparation of beef containing its entire fl,tTI-
tjOuS properties. 1t contains blood-making
force generating and DEMONSTRATING properties;
invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous
prostitution, and all forms of general debility;
also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether the
work or acute disease, particularly if resulting
from pulmonary complaints. CaSwell, Hazard q
Co.. Proprietors, New York. Sold by drugZists-
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Rolls and PirnpIe9

"For several years had pimples breaking out on
mvface and neck. / wal induced 70 take hooas
sarsaparilla and my skin is now clearer anu 1ni
$500 l,at,or than for some timer, D. MOCK
AsEE "a Bond ST., Cleveland o.
"Pimples were breaking out all over my race
caused by smoking cigarettes was advised BY my
druggist to try Hoods sarsaparilla and did So ana
all traces of the pimples have disappeared.-1. C.
DANIELS, % Union St, Norwich, Ct
"I sunered with bois i've years. Hoods sarsapa-
rilla cured me"-R.M. LANE. Pittsburgh, Pa.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

A RECENT calculation shows that Eng,
land owns nearly three times rs large
an extent of colonies as all the rest OF
Europe together. Her colonies are
eiclsy-fve times rs big as the mother
country.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

o+tsr manifest themselves in the spring months
Fruntions such as hives Pimples and Dolls sai'
rhennn scrofula or other affections caused oy I'M
purity or low state OF the blood are cured by hooa
sarsaparila 1t purthes, vitalizes and enrcnes inc
blood, creates an appetite, rouses the nVer anu
gives renewed strength to the whole pody.
Trv this excellent spring medicine and blood
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
ga word the yytse i. suCicIcpt.n

1t is hard to run a newspaper that canno
stand alone.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Very Well Put.

PREVENT crooked boots and bliStered heels
by wearing Lyons Patent Heel Sttfeners.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

The Sen-A Western Duck Hunting Bon'-
Oregon and her Salmon-The Boy anu
Marbles, etc., etc.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

Not faded or gray hair to be seen, after US
ing Halls Hair Remover. CO.
< powerful remedy for lung troubles. Saie
for young or old. Ayers Cherry PecVoraA'
Diogenes lived in a tub. He probably olo
not believe in advertising.
P1so's REMEDY for Catarrn is agreeaDle "
use. 1t is not liquid or snuH' o0c'
The best Ankle Boot and Collar Pads are
nade of zinc and leather. TN them.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
sweiIings in the Neck

Joseph Dunphy, PA Central Street. Lowell, Mass.
had dwellings and Jumps on his neck and face.
which various pastes, ointment5 and medicines
failed to stop. A shopmste, whose wife had been
cured Of sore on her arm by Hoods sarsaparila
recommended the medicine, and he bought bottle
In three days there was a change in the eruptonss
and five bottles effected q complete cure, leaving
the skin smooth and fair.
Last spring was troubled with Dolls Two poV
ties Of Hoods SaIsaparllla cured me, and recon-
mend II to others"-J. scHocH, Peoria, III
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Hunoors i'm the Blood

scrofuIn turks in the blood OF nearly every oneS
being often inherited. It's severest form is that OF
running sores the arms, legs or feet punches In
the glands Of the neck pimples cancerous growths'
swollen joints and thickenins OF the upper Up are
other symptoms Hoods sarsaparilla has had won
derful success in curing scrofula- 1t thoroughly
eradicates the humor from the blood and gives u
paxv vitality and richnasa.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06

Piso's Remedy for Catarrh is doing wonders
for mo. | believe it will cure any case of Ca
tarrh, il used according to directions.
Mrs. 4. JOHNSON. 40 Z. Diamond St
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Hoods SarsapariIla
100 Doses one Dollar

Sold by all drugg SITS. 81 SIX for S. Prepared on
by C. I, HOOD CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.