The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-03-10
PITH AND POINT.

Transported for life. The man who
marries happily.
A rapt expression of the ham
mered pugilist. t.-Puck.
When Adam gotssup in the morning il
never took him long to dress.-Merchast-s I
Traveller. ~ .gg5
Pennsylvania allows a man to marry
his mother in-law, but he doesn't.
Courier-Journal.
A friend asks a remedy for cold feet.
Make them stay on the other side of the
bed.-Haryord POST. - s;s555,$
The ups and downs of American life
are we'll exempliied on the toboggan
slide.-Detroit Free Press. q
Last summer the Tories gave Ireland
an inch, and now they have got to take /
! Parn-e ell.-LoveU Courier. 5ss;
It is worth noting that Ajax defed the
! lightning before the Jersey brand was
discovered.-NeU Haueo NeUs. Fy5ss
A rule that works both ways-When
fleet goes out on cruise, fhe crews go
out on the feet.-Pitta6urg Chronicle 5sis.
"Kerosene oil is going up" says an !,
exchange. Undoubtedly; so is the
stove, so is the hired girl.-New Haos,s
News. $3.50
A student of human nature says any
thing can be sharpened. Put lead
pencil in woman's hands and see
Bin3hanaton Republican. .t ..3s.!.
There are one hundred different kinds !
of cheese made in France. But there is
one made in Germany that can outrank /
them all.-Eoans0ilk Argus. Il. g
Worth, the dress-maker, may not be-
long remembered after his death, but ii 4
can't be denied that few men have madeS
more hustle in life.-Boston Courier. 3s, J;
'My usual luck!" exclaimed Biggs.
s'I bought an accident policy, and here
it is almost run out. and I haven't so
much as stubbed my toe. -Boston Tran 4
script. &ssS8
"What to Do with the Dead" heads an
article in the Canandaigua Messenger. d
Make them advertise That will put
life into them if anything will Dansoi0s
Breeze.
A Troy business house advertises
ssCollars and cuffs. Full wedding OUT.
fits." We are surprised. We thought
better of Troy civilization.-N1h York
Graphic. ~
Customer-"Cant you give ma sofne-
thing to take the redness outsof my
nose7" Druggist-"Go in front. Back
here is where we put the redness on q
mans nose. ."--SJtings.
'tHaste makes waste" says the prov
erb, but the man who buttons his waist
coat over bay window, will tell you
that haste had no hand in making his
waist Commercial Bulletin. Z
"Will you carvel" asked the landlady
of young Sawbones, who is in college.
Certainly; where is the body9-I mean, 1
bring on the meat" correcting himself as Z
best be could.-1Id-Bits.
We often feel peculiar,
As through this world we range; 81
But of all our funny feelings
Perhaps the one most strange
Is that we know when with vigor G4
We shoot one foot in the air 1st4
To break thu ribs of the bulldog Z
That jumps and isn't there .t&ST
You can accomplish almost anything
with man if you will take the precau-
tion to give him good dinner. A man,
it will be observed, resembles horse in
this regard. A horse is ungovernable
until you put bit in his mouth.-Boston
Transcript. TX
HIS LITTLE sCEHME.
The man with six daughters he wished were
all wed .E y
Worked gleefully early and late,
At times when he ought to have been in his
bed,
Constructing patent front gate. -
'This now ought to catch 'em," soliloqutzed
he, ..--
Cor else I'm precious cid Ounce:
A great scheme for trimming the family
tree! Il;
Six couples can swing here at once"
-Tid-Bits.