Morning journal and courier., 1886-02-25
----------------- LYMAN NATURE.

Nine men out of every ten will be found upon close inspection to have at least one
 button in their p-cket.-Danville Breeze. Cooperative banks of deposit will not sue ceed The managers never could agree as to who should run away with the funds.-New Orleans Pieayune.
 A Delaware young man rode fifteen miles
 through snow drifts to see his girl. A year
 after marriage he may refuse to go down to
 the grocery, two hundred yards distant, to
 buy mackerel for supper.-Norristown
 Herald.
 s'I would like you to help me little,"
 said vagrant, poking his head into a coun-
 try shop. "Why don't you help yourself?' asked the proprietor. ''Thank you, will, '' and two loaves of bread, and then vanishing -Tidbits.
 Sam Jones complains that his sermons
 have been stolen and printed in a book in Cincinnati. If he were more familiar with i the city he would cease complaining and con
 gratulate himself that they didn't hold him up against the wall and make him read the proof sheets Chicago News.
 'Well. what have you got for supper?"
 asked Mir. Snaggs last night, he entered the dining room. Why, have some bis cults that made myself, dear," replied his wife ssWell, bring them on.' said Snaggs in resigned tone; ''Fm- hungry enough to eat anything. .'-Pittsburg Chronicle Young Monsieur X. (only short time in America): May have ze playzure, Mees Clara, of ze invite to ze theatre wiz you to- morrow eveninga" Miss Clara: ''Oh, thanks, Monsieur X. And what is the plays" Mon sieur K: ''Er-vat you call him-'La Case de l'Oncle Tom.'" Miss Clara-'I shall be delighted, am sure. I think those plays adapted from the French are so entertain ing"
 Jeems knocks cup eff the mantel, shiver- ing it into thousand fragments. His mis- tress hearing the noise, rushes in and stands a moment supplied by the result of her ser
 wants awkwardness "Oh," she cries, with tears in her eyes, ''my beautiful old | Sevres!" ''Oh.' exclaims Jeems, in joyous tone, seraphic smile spreading all over his face, 'I was frightened at first I thought it was something new"
 "Hello, Simpson, old boy; how feeling this morninga I see you were fined $20 yes terday for being drunk on the street and fighting an Italian crossing sweeper-'' ''Me? I never was drunk in my life and I have been out of town for two weeks; just got back this morning." ''Well, here it is in the paper, anyhow, plain as day. Marcus H.
 Simpson, grain dealer of S14 Barclay street. :" Lem me see the paper. Well truth is dead in this world. The newspapers are lying more than ever. The miserable liar of porter who wrote that! told the judge my name was Thomas Jones. and that lived in Hannibal, N. J. There's no liar like news paper. r."-Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. "A little learning is dangerous thing" read Rollo, who for some misdemeanor had been cruelty sentenced to read two pages of the ttEssay of Criticisrn;" "why is it, fathers" ooh, because, said Rollo's father, sit's just
 like any other inoculation. A little vaccine
 virus keeps you from having the smallpox,
 little canine virus secures you against hydro
 phobia and little learning just prevents
 didn't say anything, but looked yearningly
 toward his Uncle George. Rollo's father
 noticed the glance ooh yes," he said
 cheerfully, ''he had it twice. when he was a
 boy; went to his head both times, and it's
 been all swelled up ever since. ."-Brooklyn
 Eagle.