Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-02
BRIGHT BITS.

In ALABAMA they chew the tasses of the
mr. trees as substitution for tobacco,
which, says correspondent, reminds me
OF the adage. be hr-chewers and you will be
happy. '"-Life.
AT THE ANTIoUARY's.- Collector OF Curios.
Have you any genuine Roman falchionsS
Dealer (on his guardl--l am sorry, but
they're all being rusted. and won't be ready
until next week.--Detr0H Free Press.
DOOR IN THE WALL-The following is the
copy OF Dill posted on the wall of a country
village: "A lecture on total abstinence will
be delivered in the open AR, and collection
VIII be made at the door to defray expenses"
4Nel0 York Ledger.
"HAvE you heard the news? Old Snod-
worth has sued the Dafly Planet for $50, 900
damages for defamation Of character"
'6es, know all about il. He is always en-
gagng in some private speculation, out don't
see how he's going TO put up mis- margins this
tlme."-Chtcdgo Re1os.
PERHAPS the best way to settle the vexed
question OF the tall hats at the theatre will be
TO divide the house like a Quaker meeting.
putting the men on one side and the women
on the other. II this did not abate the
nuisance, it would at Least cOnhne its incOn-
Yenences to the ofenders.-BostOn Courier.
''MR. PLUMsoN, you talked in your sleep
full hour last night, and kept me awake the
whole time. 1t was dreadful"
Madam, what can You expect of a man
who never gels chance TO say word during
swell. sir. l never talk in my sleep, that's
certain"
quite right, my dear. think it must have
been your silence that started me."-Phtta-
detDhtd Press.
"WE FEEL" writes a Western editor. t'that
an apology Is due TO Widow Grimes. In our
issue OF last week we stated that she had
eloped with an lS-year-old man. The truth
was that she was thrown from an S-year- old
mare, which she was riding IN u lope. and
which slipped and fell. Mistakes will happen
n the best-regnlated newspaper office, and
we are confident that when we state the item
was sent over telephone wire, no other
apology will be needed"
LoNGTALKER: Now, Miss Pepper. hope
have convinced you that there is no such
thing,as endless punishment"
II am not sure Of that, but / admit that the
conclusion Of your argument is very forei-
ble."
A CoMPUNCTIOUs GRIMM indig-
nantly-These sums which you stole, fruits Of
long years of honest work, you squandered in
wretched fOoeries.
Prisoner, with emotion-I could not keep
that money. Itwelghed too much on my con-
science lie Figure.
do YOU KNOW, love" he murmured, ''that
1 think sometimes l would like to be the
mooni"
eyes, suppose you would" she answered.
"Why do you think so, lOve?'
"Because you are so much like it already"
"HowP"
why, In the first place you are sometimes
very new and then again you often get full
and whenever l want to 70 anywhere you
seem TO be down TO your last quarter"
N. Bile doesn't call there now.-Keao
Hdoen Mems.
THE WRONG SIDR-"What ia your occupa-
tlOnr' the Judge asked the seedy, red nosed
man.
"rm a bartender, your Honor" was the
reply.
'But the officer swears you're a loafer, and
pass the greater part of your time in sa-
looms
Don't bartender pass most of his time in
saloonsl"
True" unused the Judge. "By the way"
he asked, (which side of the bar do you
tend2"
Zine outside, your Honor"
IL thought So" said the Judge; ''three
months, '-BOStOR Courier.