davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

IL has been wisely suggested that when
the Senate Is In executive session the Nag
over the north end OF the Capitol be placed
at half-mast. This will direct the visiting
rabblc to the other end of the building.
The old Man of the See The bal1-heoior
in the front row.
Representative Butterworth introduced q
bill yesterday "to ocreate department OF in'
dustry and bureau OF labor When it Is
amended so that 1t will not apply to Con
gress In session II will no doubt become
law.
A sharp.witted son of toll who had been
compelled TO call on several distinguished
United States Senators and be overwhelmed
by their dignity, wearled at last by his dis
appointments, fell asleep in the gallery
whittier he had gone to rest. As he slept
he dreamed that he died and went to the
great Elsewhere. AS he passed along mag
niiicent avenue lie met mighty spirit in
his path.
"who and what art thous" said the spirit
in terrible tones.
III am onlya poor man." replied the
trembling visitor, shrinking away.
"And ~ continued the spirit, 81 am
Deity"
A look OF intense relief spread over the
poor mans face and he exclaimed fcrvently.
'oh, is that all9 thought you were a
United States Senator"
Brgadier Colonel Winston, the Chicago
Minister to Persia, has arrived as far as
Turkey. lie has probably struck his strut.
The ladies of the Congregational Church
will give a chocolataire at an early date. u
viii be observed In this connection that this
form of tare is the mildest form OF dissipa-
tion known outside OF red paint toot on a
washtubful OF church festival lemonade.
The Forestry Commission have gone to
work and Presidential timber will no doubt
begin to sprout as soon as the frost gets
out of the ground
II usually happens when a speaker says
he has nothing more to say, he hasn't, but
It takes him painfully long time to say IT,
If dreams go by contrsries and thi:
weather is spring, what in the name oi
| Jupiter Boreas will 1t be In summer?
Senator Edmunds soliloquizing over the
Presidents message: "Being Republican
and sinner, yet believe in the traditions Of
4, rr,,
mess Of pottage, but by the curule chat
| in which ] sit swear the United States
Senate shall not sell its birthright for a pot
of message. Delenda est Carthago''
About two hundred times a day Speake
Carlisle vociferates: "THE House WILL Bl
IN oRpER.n Some day it will be in order
for him to get shotgun. z. S.-lie come
from Kentucky. N. B.--A hint in TIM
saves nine.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
NOTES AND GOSSIP.

The dress coat must go. Every little
while 5000 clerk is mistaken for an $500
waiter.-[ Minneapolis Tribune.
years old last Saturday, and still the best
actor in his line on the American stage.
A YALE COLLEGE paper publishes this
item: "Harvard's boat club is Sl,100 In
debt Yale's, 81 ,2O0." Another victory for
IIarvard-'rah ! 'rah 'rah
THE PROPOSED MONUMENT to John Nc
Cullough at Philadelphia will represent
the actor in his great character OF
Iuginius, heroic size, and cost about
$4,000.
ALEssASDRo SALvINI, who died recently
In Italy, accompanied his brother, the cee-
brated tragedian, on his first visit to this
country in 1873, and supported him as Iago
in "Othello !"
The exhibition of English water colors
in London is doing vast amount Of good
for both English and American artists.
American pictures have been bought to the
amount OF f2,OOO.
THE Brooklyn Times, one of our most
valued exchanges, entered upon its 39th
year yesterday, and these years, we are
told, shave been years Of steady growth
and unbroken prosperity"
IT is UNDERSTOOD that the Brooklyn
Board of Aldermen will recommend the
lighting Of the entire city by electricity, as
measure of protection against the cStor-
| tions Of the gas companies.
BY INVITATION of the Supreme Court of
Georgia, the Hon. Henry w. 1Iilliard will
deliver an eulogy before that body on
Thursday upon the life and character OF his
near friend, the late Robert Toombs.
BYRoN's s'Marino Falieri'' is soon to be
placed on the German stage. 1t was an old
English theatrical manager who once said
that Shakespeare spelled ruin and Byron
bankruptcy. Philadelphia Record.
| THE FINEST collection of American
woods in the world is the Jesup collec-
tion in Central Park, New York, which
represents over 400 varieties and cost
about Sl5O,OO0. They were studied and
named by DR.. Charles s. Sargent of Har-
ward, while Dr.. Coulter of Boston did the
work of cutting and preparation.
CAPTAIN ELIAS CRAPsER of Poughkeep-
sic, N. y, the patriarch of the Hudson
River steamboat men, died yesterday morn
ing He was seventy-nine years old and
an intimate friend aud boyhood companion
of the late Commodore Vanderbilt, Daniel
Drew and Dean Richmond. Captain
Crapser leaves five sons, all marine engl-
neers. ,'
THE CITY of Baltimore is to-day without
a ta&collector. Mayor Hodges last week
nominated man to that position, but the
city council refused to confirm him, and
Il yesterday the collection of taxes was
stopped, the term Of the late collector hav
ing expired. This is an unfortunate pre-
dicament for the city't to be in, but is prob
ably not much regretted by those who's,
taxes are due
The HONOLULU ALMANAC and Director.
for 1856 is publication of 10S pages, con
tanning large amount Of statistical ant
general Information relating to the Hawaiian
Islands, compiled by Mr. RObt. j. Creighton
II is sent with the compliments of Charlie
T. Gulck, Minister OF the Interior ant
president OF the Board of Immigration
Among the numerous illustrations are fin
portraits of King Kalakaua and Quee
Kapiolani s
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
Proving His SOIyeucy.

Hotel Cashier; ''sorry, sir, but we do
not cash any checks" ...4 ,......
"But / am from California and have
Sl0O, ,000 in bank at San Francisco ri'
Every likely, but how are We to know
that?n v 1.ir
swell, sir, here is the copy Of an afll-
dayit which Miss Swellers has filed against
me in a suit for breach of promise.n +.
81 beg thousand pardons. Happy to
accommodate you. II you run short again
during your stay just hand in your check at
any time. VI PHILADELPHIA Press.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
EXPRESS "a. Mail.

EDITOR Critic: The bill introduced by
Senator Wilson of Iowa to double the rate
Of postage on fourth class matter trans
mitted through the mails is blow at a
very important privilege now enjoyed by
the people, and is, whether intended so or
not, In the interest of the express conf
panies. 1t is well known that the express
monopolies are opposed to the use of the
mails for transmitting any fourth-class mat
ter, and at every Congress use their inilu-
ence to have that clause Of the postal laws
repealed, or, as an entering wedge, to have
the rates Of postage Increased. The privi-
lege Of sending and receiving small pack
ages through the mails at a low rate of
pie OF this country for them to patiently
submit to have their rights abridged in the
interest of express monopolies. Senator
Wilson will no doubt give the rights OF the
people fair consideration before final
action adverse to them. ARGUS.
Washington, March /.
Thought You We're Some Other Girl.
EDITOR CRITIC: Last night young
man whom have known for several years
and who has been frequent visitor at my
home came to see me. He has never talked
love to me, but on this occasion he intima
and all at once threw his arms around me
and kissed me twice. OF course resented
it and grew very angry. He apologized
butI would not listen to him, and the re
suit of 1t was he left the house, and told
him he needn't come back any more. Did
do right / think did, but want tc
be sure and come to you for positive infor
nation. BERTHA III.
Twelfth street. pah
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

SENATOR EDMUNDs would have the
country believe that he detects in the
conduct of the President something re.
sembling that of King Charles. We
think we see in this remark some par
tisan claptrap. 1t certainly sounds
more like Praise God Bareboncs than
Oliver Cromwell
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

The hue and cry about mixed schools
in this District is waste Of breath. If
Commissioner Webb is In favor Of
them, he certainly hasn't said so; and
If there is more than one trustee out of
the twenty who is, we haven't
heard of him. Why coniurc up any
needless terror, when there are so
many real grievances to set right?
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
Pet Name for Edmunds.

EDITOR CRITIC: In the Presidents mes
sage, read in the Senate yesterday, there
occurs the phrase "innocuous desuetude." !"
What does 1t mean? You've PoLlrlcs.
q Street
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
a Pertinent Question.

EDITOR CRITIC: Why don't the telegraph
companies consult the City Directory for
the address of party to whom a telegram
is sent but no number or other direction af
hxed9 Here is a case In point: This morn
ing telegram came hero addressed to a
quite well known gentleman, who is living
at the same number he has been at for three
years, yet the messenger boy tried the wrong
number, by direction Of the Office, and then
wandered about In an aimlcss fashion until
he found gentleman who opened the dis
patch, and satisfying himself Of the idcnty
Of the party addressed, directed the boy
Alright, and the telegram finally got where
1t belonged an hour or two behind time.
National Hotel, March 3. s. w. ID.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
Too NIanY for Us.

EDITOR CRITIC: Why is the Lcnten sea-
son observed so formally in Washington
society, when the majority of the people are
not church members who are periodically
ful for forty days In the year, is it any bet
ter during the other 1926 daysP Is there an
intermittent heaven or an intermittent hell
in the hereafterY Is II the purpose OF pen
ance to make the bad good, or to make the
good better? A little spiritual and moral
instruction at this stage OF the game will
be thankfully received.
Cifv MVrunnfar
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

e.Ss@TARsIERs' and Mechanics, Fire
BsS Insurance. Company, ilig + st n ",
Washington, ID. G. Capital stock, 100000.
Small lines written.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
LOST AND FOUND,

I OST-Probs bly, ON q, 9th, 7th SITS or
IL Penna ave, n photograph. VIII confer q
favor II left at Critic office.
7 OST-In Going from Mass Ave, bet
IL 18th and 18th sts, TO X, bet same SITS, a
gray silk purse containing small amount OF
money and car tickets. Reward II left at
1929 X ST.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
FOR SALE-HOUSES.

INOR SALE-2 Press-Brick Houses, u
II rooms each gas and water; now rented
to good tenants; paying 19per cent interest;
terms, $4,000 for both; 81, 900 cash, balance In
EOR SALE Frame Dwelling, Near
to he moved. Apply TO Dunoanson Bros, 9th
and ID sts ,ff.... ~ i .-,....f.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
rSs@A q A IL ID.
rSy2 EQUITABLE

no all who are suffering from the errors and
indiscretlons Of YOUTH. nervous weakness,
recipe that win cure you FIR REE OF CHARGE.
This great remedy was discovered by a mis-
sionary In South America. Send Il self'ad-
dressed envelope to the Rev. Jos. II. Inman
Station ID, New York CITY.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
BOARDING.

TINABLE BOARD-"Oh, L am so Tired
J. OF boarding,houses in Washington
Well, try our table board, at 13i3 q st II W,
and be satisfied.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

EX SENATOR GRo6ME yesterday en-
tered upon his duties as Collector of
the port of Baltimore, succeeding Mr.,
Webster, n Republican, whose term
had expired. Mr. Webster made a
speech in which he spoke very highly
of the Civil Service law and its opera
tions. The employees of the Custom
House thought that IL was q very able
and sensible speech. The employees of
the Custom House are, by the way, Re-
publicans, but not, on that account, adj
verse 10 serving under Democratic
Collector.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
Don't Know.

to inform me who Is the author of the
following sentiment: "There is no mystc-
rious power OF transmutation In Depart
mental custody, nor is there magic in the
underlined and sacred solemnity OF De-
partment files" JOSEPH BALL.
AlrXnudrin
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
METHODIST.
You Can m You Want To,

You Can IT You Want to.
EDITOR Critic: was born on the twenty
ninth of February. Do have birthday
this year9
Pennsylvania avenue. HENRY II.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

II OST--Between 7th and q SITS and B.
j s. p. depot, a small diamond from ring,
Reward II returned tv Critic office.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

money to be refunded in twelve years
in annual payments. The other Tea
turc of the scheme Is to restore the
Dublin Parliament and give it power
to regulate and control nll the local and
internal affairs of Ireland. There Is
nothing cumbersome or complex about
the scheme. 1t is simple, straightfor-
ward and adequate to meet the i'm.
portant question involved fully. The
sooner the scheme is put in active opc.
ration the better, IL is thought, 1t will
be for ireland and Great Britain gen
orally. 1t may be regarded as some.
what radical, but then the difficulty
that It is intended to solve Is itself
very radical,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

A MIDDLE-AGED GENTLEMAN of
N means desires to meet an attractive
young lady, not over 20, who desires a liberal
companions; object good time. Address, in
confidence, Fidelity, Critic office. No trlflers
nppd answer
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
PERSONAL

Lady Sy,o to tSa n,ss
Dressmaker; price 20c; by mail 25c. Open.
hoimer's, 528 9Th st n W. g.
VIZ to Know that Our
w new spring fashion book THE Bazaar
Dressmakerm Is now ready; price 20c; by mail
25c Oppenheirner's 500 9th st w.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

dous gravity. Then he fell in love. Re.
membering his strong point he sent his
would-be-sweetheart all his great constitu-
tional speeches. IL was too much. The
young lady might have tolerated Jones, but
She couldn't stand his speeches. She fled
to far Detroit. Jones pursued, aud there
he has dallied ever since, regardless OF Joe
Blackburn's dictum that "he who iallies Is
das'ard," wondering why his Constitu-
ional talisman, his legal love potion. fails
Of effect. Yes, Jones was ruined by a
phrase. TAMP, BAY.
Washington, March |.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

The closest Of brothorly relations exist
between the Senator and the General,
and doubt not his letters to the latter
were just as open, free, and full, as
those of the General TO him. | under
stand that General Sherman has also
the Senator'S letters. If the two sets
could be published together, what an
entertaining book il would makel |
spoke to Senator Sherman once about
these letters, and asked him why he
did not publish them. He replied chat
he had not timc besides, he thought
il would be more becoming for some
one else to give them to the public
than for him, They may be published
some timc but hardly while the Scna-
tor lives.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

|'-- THOMAS j, FISHER 70 Co,
,u,D,taaI. tntl 1894 II street northwest.
'TNOR RENT-GOe Fourth st N Il, Five
IL room house, brick; water; 81. No. 32J
18th st s Q, Groom frame, Sl9. Davidson &
Davidson, AZ and d st N w aL------.. ..-
TOR RENT-473 @ st, Between
II AZ and 9Th sts W, sx'room house. APP
Oly at 1G7 q st y w ....
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

NOU WILL Miss the Best Chance
Il you ever had for good and profitable
business II You fail to see q. w. Baer, 2I8 3D.
s.tnw. Call soon; 1t costs nothing to inves-
firafa.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
WANTED hsLP...FEMALE.

Advertisements Of Three Lines under tbs head
inserted Mrfe times for 25 cents.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
FOR RENT...H0USEs.

EOR RENT--Store, Southwest Corner
Il OF 18th and Il SITS n W; rent moderate
Apply at northwest corner i3th and r SITS n w.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

VI,HE WAY IT Gent to
i proprietor Of FORSYTH CAFE--"I paid
dollar and quarter for my breakfast at
the - hotel yesterday"
Prop'r OF the above Cafe-"Well, presume
you got an elegant meal!"
Gent-"O! yes, very nice; but your 15.cent
breakfas 3, are just as nice and suit my taste
exactly, and, besides you see save one dol
lar and ten cents-that much clear gain"
The above conversation did actually occur
as stated. 51S 10th st.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

~ G. YEAKLE, Practical Watch
VI. maker and Jeweler repairs fine Watches
and Jewelry in the best manner at 1910 7th st
II w: 40 yeaTs' eNperienCe
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
Cali nj the oGlce for Personal inter
Wow.

EDTTOR CRiTIC. I am worth SIOO,OOO IN
/ per cent. bonds and | want to marry a
poor young man with 81 900 year. Do
you think we could live IN Washington on
$4,000 year In society style? MARY X.
Mnss ave
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

IF the forecast given Of Mr.. Glad
stones scheme In regard to Ireland is
correct there seems TO be no reason
why It should not prove satisfactory to
The Nationalist. The government is
10 furnish money for the purchase
Of land in Ireland by tenants, the
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
WANTED SITUATIONS.

"ANTED--Sit for two White
w ludy's maids and two ehambermaids,
with references M NJ st IL W, Dundore q
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

XXyASTED-At 11OT q street n W..
w lady who understands dress-making.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02
GENERAL AND CRirrouLAR.

It has been wisely suggested that when
the Senate is in executive session the Nag
over the north end Of the Capitol be placed
at half-mast. This will direct the visiting
rabblc to the other end of the building.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-02

| wv NANTED--White Woman for Gen.
w cral housework; no children. il5 u ST
n a. Ir Iittipwoo1
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-11-10
To Dallas People.
step off.

The HERALD is now engaged in an
cndeavor to give Dallas a tirst-clnsS
afternoon paper, and is confident of a
grand success in that direction within
the next half year. The afternoon
paper is a distinctive feature of city
journalism, and is one just as neces-
sary to the city as its morning paper,
or as the local paper to each county
town. The EVENING HERALD
gives fresh and full news
reports and interesting city mat
ter every evening at 4 o'clock,
and by giving the Dallas reading pub
ic a first-class evening paper the
publishers confidently expect to place
the HERALD in every household in the
city within the next few months.
There are hundreds, thousands of
people in every city whose occupa-
ton does not allow them to enjoy a
morning paper, but who, when the
days work is over, are free from care
and at liberty to read and appreciate
the evening city paper. To say nothing
of the difference in costa consider
able item with many-thc fact that
the evening paper gives the days
news twelve hours in advance of the
morning paper, and visits the homes
at an hour when four men out of five
have their leisure for reading, there
are yet other good reasons why the
first-class evening paper should, and
in larger cities does always, greet
more people at their homes than the
more expensive and more commercial
morning journal. The HERALD aims
to supply what Dallas has new yet
had-a first-class evening paper.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-11-10
Was Ii n Put Up job?

John Page is n blonde and wears, a
thin moustache and small side beard,
lie carries n cane and wears tight
shoes. lie is not a dude, but dresses
well and looks well. Ills occupation
is not exactly located, though he seems
to have money sufficient to pay his
board and smoke cigarettes.
Mr.. Page was out last night and
perhaps allowed his appetite to get the
better of his Judgment, for he got full
and lost his way, got tired, sit down
and forgot where he was and fell
asleep. When he awoke about 3
o'clock this morning he was bewilder-
ed. and started for his lodgings.
Not being clear in his mind, he
got to the wrong door and applied his
night key. The inmates heard the
grating of the key and prccipitated
themselves out of bed and yelled for
the police at the top of their voices.
Mr.. Page took the hint and rctrcated
not in the best of order. for he fell.
Recovering, he gained the street and
sailed with the wind. Mr.. Page has
taken Il solemn oath that he will never
more indulge in intoxicating drinks.
lie says the 'boys" put the job up on
him and swcars vengeance. 1t is
barely possible that the "boys' knew
what they were doing.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-11-10
The Dallas Pan-EIectric Tcle-
cphOnc Co.

DALLAS, Nov. 6.
To the Patrons Of Our Company:
10 quiet any ap%prchensions in the
minds of our subscribers caused by
the recent suits of the Bell Company
against this Company we deem il
proper to advise you that under an
agreement between the representative
attorneys of both companies the court
has granted a temporary Injunction
pending the litigation, the same TO 90
into effect February next. But, in the
mean time, our business will be con-
Quoted rs heretofore; and we believe
that there will be such developments
as will prevent any interruption in our
business.
Our attorney informs us that there
are several suits now pending in the
supreme court of the United States
involving the validity of the Bell pat
ents, and that they will probably be
decided within the next three months:
and that if they shall be decided adj
vcrsely to the Bell Company the court.
upou application, will without doubt
remove the temporary Injunction, and
there would then be no Interruption
of our business. There is also a suit
now pending in the United States cir
cult court in Ohio, brought by the
government against the Bell Com
pany to cancel the patents issued TO
Mr.. Bell, and if that is decided in
favor of the government the i%niunc-
ton against us will be removed.
We shall continue to serve our pa.
irons as attcntively as heretofore, and
request them TO continue their patron
age until notified by Us that we can no
longer serve them, Il contingency that
we hope will not occur. We will fur
Their say that we expect to remain in
the telephone business whether the in
junction takes effect or not; for if we
shall not be allowed to use the tclc-
phone now in use we expect to be able
to substitute for it an instrument
equally rs good. and which does not in
any way infringe upon the Bel pat
ents.
We request that in case of any fail
ure of our employees TO give you prop
service you make complaint to the
manager, or some officer of the COM
pany, who will then give the matter
prompt attention. Yours respectfully,
JOHN 5. ARMSTRONG,
j. p. MURPHY, President.
Secretary.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-11-10

The superintendent Of the Dallas
water works is shutting off dclin-
qucnts to-day.
The Browdcr Springs furnish water
for the city during the day. AT night
the supply comes from the river. This
is done tor protection against fire
should an alarm be turned on at night.
The federal court has not been in
session to-day.
The report spread in the city that
Deputy United States Marshal Ben +.
Cabell had been murdered in the In
dian Territory proves to be a canard.
1t was a young man named Campbell,
who had arrested a man for selling
liquor, and while he was searching
him the man shot him dead.
Mr.. viii +. Hawkins and Miss Ella
Dickcrson, will be married tonight
in the First Methodist Church, Grow
dus IIall.) The father of the groom,
a presiding cider in the conference
now in session, is here to see his son
step off.