Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1886-03-26
@ sFs.-ts /. st'-s =
uuMoRs OF THE BAR.
Nautical Talk on the witness stand
J. Winning Over tho Colorod
-. " , T. Brother. Etc.

Nautical Talk on the witness stand
7 Wlnning Over the Colorsa
:r:, BROTHER, Etc.
Mr.. Charles Dudley Warner, who con,
ducts the Editors Drawer department of
Hsrper's Magazine, Includes in his latest
anecdotes the following:
There Is 4 lawyer in Boston who is In
the habit at times Of addressing Individual
3urynen when inattentive3or restless, and
sometimes his argumentum ad h0minem La
effective. Some time ago he was trying
q case against street railway company,
and there was an old saiior on tho Jury
who seemed to give no heed to what either
counsel saM. Ths lawyer n,ads his znost
eloquent appeaist but I'LL In vain. Finally
he stopped TN front Of the sailor and sajd
mi. Juryman, / will toll you Just how
this happened. The plaipsid was in com
mand II the outward-bound open car, and
std Il - taIboald channeln Along
on ahast tnw1S bound clnse ear; ana inst
as shsir' bows MT .she jumped sthet
sheered to portI and Knocked The plRirf;n
OH and ran over him" Tho sailor was oil
attention after this version Of the affair,
and Joined In $4,000 verdict for the in
3ured man.
Another time hs was trying q case
against the city Of Lawrence for stout
woman of rather unprepossessine appear
ance. Right behind the foreman sat O
colored juryman who would weigh nearly
three hundred pounds The defect In tho
street was vegy slight, aud the colored
man evidently took no stock In the claim
Argument, persuasion, and pathos were
alike lost On him. Then the lawyer, who
is rather smallsized man, said: ..Mr.
Foreman, the effect was very slight but
the streets;o the city should be safe for
all classes of:people, the rich and the poor
the old and the young, the slight and the
stout. You are slender. and If you had
been there you would not have fallen, but
you see that the gentleman behind you
and are just about Of a build. Now we
and this poor woman have just as good q
right in the street as you have" The
negro's face brighsened up, and when the
jury retired he persistently voted for a
million dollars damages, until at last he
Was induced to agree with the others on
moderate verdict.
Many years ago there was Judge in
Boston who was more noted for his Sound
Judgment and great knowledge of law
than for bis courtesy to counsel or sutton.
One day At the opening Of term of his
court large number of gentlemen drawn
as jurors begged to be excused from serv-
Ing AS one after another gave bis reasons
q frown began to grow on the tudge's face
Another man asked to be let ofY.
"What for?''
II can not hear readily, and am afraid I
may not get all the evidence"
"How long have you been deaf'" asked
the Judge, tn a low tone.
"About ten years."
Can you hear an Ordinary converse
tiDn?-can you hear me now?" said the
judge, dropping his voice almost to q
whisper.
"Oh yes, Sir. 4 can hear YOU"
!, The Judge looked sternly at him full
minute. Then he said s:Mr Clerk, ex-
cuseS taa<as n,an. II he is deaf we don't
want him, and If he is a liar we don't want
him."
No more excuses were made that day.
At another time an eminent lawyer was
arguing case before the Judge, who grew
impatient and said:
"Your point is perfectly understood by
the Court; please make your argument as
short AZ possible"
II am making it as short as possible"
said the lawyer as he proceeded.
After . few minutes the Judge inter-
rupted him again, saying, "You are taking
too much time; we have many cases to
hear; and went you to understand that
am sitting here for the dispatch Of
business" =:
Il beg your pardon" said the old law
yer, bowling low. II thought your honor
was sitting here to administer justice"
He was suffered to proceed.