davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
Remilted the Fine.

Judge 3, of an Indiana court, n
prominent and leading member OF the
bar, but given at times to "look upon
wine when it giveth color in the cup, !"
appeared in court one morning good
deal under the Influence" and on such
occasions he was not particular in the
observance of decorum, or the usual
courtesy before dignified bodies, and
for preach of judicial etiquette was
fined Sl5 by the court.
Judge = did not demur, but some
days after, when duly sober, the court
detailed him as SPECIAL Judge.
Gravely taking his seat, and duly
opening court, Judge Z ordered
the clerk to turn back on the docket
to the second entry of the fine, and
said:
Mr.. Clerk, enter an order renting
that find of $50 against this court, !"
which was done.
Then turning to the Sheriff, he
added:
"Mr. Sheriff, you will proclaim at the
Court House door that this court is now
open for transaction of regular bust
ness. Detroit Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

"Uncle Stead" is what they called a
shrewd old gentleman who used to live
in Winthrop, a little way out of the
village, up the side of the pond near
Readfield. One of his fellow-citizens
was man named Lovejoy. Uncle
Stead met Love. oy in the village one
day, and said to him: "Lovejoy,
there's a poor woman lives out on the
edge of the town that needs some pro-
visions. I'm willing to supply her, but
I've sold my horse and have no means
of getting the stuff to her. Now, I'll
buy her barrel of flour, and ham,
and some other supplies if you'll carry
them out to her with your team"
Lovejoy said. certainly, he'd be very
glad to do it, Accordingly, Uncle
Stead bought barrel of flour, ham,
bucket of sugar, ETC., and, telling
Love ,oy where the woman lived, sent
him off on the errand of charity with
the good things in his pung.
Loveioy easily found the house where
the woman lived. He unloaded the
goods, putting like grampus as he
rolled the barrel of flour in, and said to
the woman: "Mr. Steadman sent you
the provisions. He's a mighty kind
hearted man to send you all these
things"
well, don't know why he shouldn't
send them TO mel" exclaimed the wom-
an in surprised accents. Hes my hus-
band !"-zRocklan1 Courier Gazette.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
To Digest yulcanite

Requires acids more potent than the solvent
juices of the human stomach. And yet, in the
form of medicine intended to reform the very
evil they aggravate, to wit, dyspepsia, solids
and fluids, irreconcilable in their constituents
that have no chemical affinity one with tho
other are introduced into it. Are these socalled
remedies more dgestible than vulcanite? Pos
itiyely-nol Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, on
the other hand, a simple medicine, harmonious
in its composition and readily assmilable, is
active, and produces marked as well as speedily
appreciable effects, because it is rational rem
edy suited to the stomach. 1t is Il tonic in the
true sense, because IL harmonizes and insures
regularity Of the operations of digestion. Not
the least Of the benefits which IL confers, is n
thorough repair OF the damage inflicted on the
stomach by ill-chosen remedies. For bilious
ness, constipation, malarial complaints, rheu-
matism and kidney troubles, it is alike inval-
uable.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
DOdged His Friends.

Hole on dar, Ant'ny," said old Solo
mon, "an' tell me suthin' mo- bout Mr..
Gayrlan' an de cattle"
"Wall, dar amt much else ter know
'cept de fack dat er committee o. cow
boys is zaminin' de cattle"
"Hab de greet man gin up de cattle?"
ooh, mol De folks say dat dey's
such tough beef dat da doan' want
'em."
"Da do?"
Oats whut da say"
"Tell yer whut some O. de folks heah
doan' like"
"Whut's dat?"
"W'y, jes' fo' it had come out on de
Gen1 dat he'd tuck de stock he come
down ter Little Rock"
"Ter see his ole frien's?"
"Bless yer, no. He slipped through
de town an went out heah ter Hominy
Hill. De frien's whut had made him
an whut wuz proud o. dar work, went
ter de hotel, but foun' dat he had dun
gin 'em de slip. He gin ez er skuse
dat it wuz tiresome to shake hans wild
so many folks. 'Twan't dat way err
little while ergo. Den he wanted ter
shake hans wild everybody. Peered
like da couldn' war him out. He'd
meet pussons an say, Hello, Bill; wy,
Tom, Use glad ter see yer; wy, how yer
gettin' erlong, SamY But de las time
he come he say ter er libery stable
man, Git me outen dis town ez soon
ez yer kin, fur / doan' wanter meet
desc fellers. '"-Arkdnsaw Traveller.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
No Time to Lose.

If DR.. Koch should discover a rem
edy for as well as an explanation of
pulmonary disorders, he will have no
lack of home practice. Nos. 1872 and
1874 Ackerstrasse, Berlin, is the loca-
tion OF the most crowded tenement on
earth. 1t is only a four-story build
ing, but contains 232 sections, inhab-
tied by nearly 100 human beings.
Many of the rooms have only transom
windows; others face stufy court
yards or sunless alleys; in short, an
establishment with all modern devices
for the systematic manufacture of lung
diseases.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
A Judge Who Was n Driver.

Judge Virgin, one of the ablest jur-
lists of the Maine Supreme Court, was
born aud bred among the Oxford bears.
His father was lumberman, and when
young man the Judge used to go in
to the woods and chop with the best of
them, or run the logs down stream
with the most daring river drivers.
The Judge recently told me some of
his adventures as log runner. There
was a stream they used to call No. g
running into the Swift River, on which
my father used to operate" said he.
AT noon. when the snow had melted
and run down into it, it would be bank
full, but by night there would be hard
ly any water in it. We foated those
big pumpkin pines down the stream at
midday. They were monstrous logs.
/ thought nothing of jumping on one
of them and riding down on it alone.
Once in a while I'd strike hidden
rock and go off, but rather enjoyed a
ducking then" What future ustice
of the Supreme Court is yarding logs
in the Maine forest this winter? "The
most eccentric farmer L ever knew,
said Judge Virgin, "was Phin Wood, of
Rumford. He had very large farm
without fence on it. He always kept
a lot of cattle and about fifty hogs
running loose. Instead of stone walls
he had about ten dogs TO keep his
stock from straying. At one time
Phin was very profane man, but he
became converted and tried his best to
be better. His temper would get the
advantage of him once in while,
though, and he would express his re-
pentance for his wickedness in prayer
meeting afterward. I've heard him
tell in prayer meeting how he'd found
himself swearing at his oxen, and then
fallen right down by their sides and
prayed forgiveness. l never shall for
get one testimony L heard him give in
a Rumford prayer meeting. He had
lost his wife and he expressed his sor-
row over his bereavement. Said he
She was a good wife, helpmeet to
me. She helped me pay for stock and
save money. Brethren and sisters, I'd
rather lost any pair of oxen in my
yard than lost her. "-NelC York
Times
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
She Played Not by Muscle, but For 1t.

One of the leading teachers of the
violin in Boston-and in America-re-
lates that young woman came to him
for instructions, and after lesson or
two, he very frankly and honestly said
to her:
ut is of no use for me to teach you.
The simple fact is, you have no musical
ear"
"Oh, I know that" she returned,
with the utmost sweetness and candor.
"But why" he asked, in astonish-
ment easily imagined, do you come to
me if you know you have no carp"
"OA, it is because of my health. an
swered the interesting pupil. MY
doctors say there is nothing so good
for my dyspepsia as the exercise OF the
arms 1 get in violin playing. -BoSton
B1Ld0et
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
THE OLDEST PIANO.
A Musical Relic to Bc Seen I'm the Ancient
Town of Lynn.

A Musical Relic to Be Seen I'm the Ancient
Town Of Lynn.
The inventor" of the first American
piano, which was brought out in
Salem according to more than enc
chronicler, would not have cared to
have the fact generally known that he
spent hour after hour at different times
studying the Rogers piano, and that he
copied all of its essential points. This
venerable instrument is q surprising
reve' alton to those who ponder on the
strides" made in the manufacture OF
piano-fortes in this country. This mu-
steal relic of "ye olden time" is pretty
convincing bit of testimony to the fact
that there have been no astonishing I'M
provements in pianos for 100 yeats.
The essentials of the modern splendid
pianos are all in that old instrun ent,
and its notes are still surprisingly ex-
cellent, while the faction" is almost a
marvel OF mechanical achievement,
when the remoteness of the production
Is taken into account. The case Is a
costly one, fillets of rare inlaid work
profusely diversifying the beautiful
rosewood and mahogany, while the
keys, though varying slightly from the
present pattern, are about as good as
those now standard. In size this in
strument is in no wise to be compared
with the modern piano. 1t is so dimin-
ut We that its real excellence is OBJ
scured. 1t is sixty-six inches long,
twenty-three and one-half inches wide,
and thirty-three inches high. Its legs,
six in number, are as slim and of tue
same shape as those of a stand or small
table. The legs are square, tapering
to the bottom, slightly beaded. -Four
of the legs are on the front OF the
piano. At each end, underneath the
piano proper, are small music closets
with door opening to the front, while
still nearer the player and underneath
are shelves with gracefully rounded
corners. Just above the legs handsome
brass rosettes are set upon the body OF
the instrument. There are two pedals,
one being used to prolong the notes
and the other serving double purpose,
! one of its uses is to increase the vol
ume of sound somewhat by lifting a
Section of the top or lid near the front.
The other use of this pedal is to pro-
duce an imitation of the firing OF can
non, in this case clam-bang operation,
as the player suddenly lifts the sectio 1
of the top referred to and Us suddenly
lets it fall. boston Herald.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

The remarkable phase in the practice of DR..
is he never asked one 10 describe their disease
but tells each one their trouble without asking
question His success is phenomenal His
practice enormous. He is sought after by hun
dreds wherever he goes, because he cures when
every other physician and remedy have failed
He has allowed his great medicines, Golden Seal
Btters and Lung Food for Consumption, TO be
offered to the suffering and we assert without
fear of successful contradiction that there s
no disease they will not cure. Thousands of
bottles have been sold. Thousands of broken
down and discouraged invalids saved. Send TO
Golden Seal Bitters Company, Holland City,
Mich, for Facts for the Millionl Free
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

THE fibrous tissues in the leaves of
black pine, common tree in Germany,
have been worked into cloth called
Lairitz's pine-wool or vegetable flannel.
1t is claimed for it that it possesses
remedial properties when worn next
the skin by sufferers from rheumatism.
It must be washed only with warm
water and pine-oil soap, to avoid de-
stroying its aroma and curative virtues.
So says DIR. Anna Kingsford. - DR..
Foote's Health MOnthLu.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
A Remarkable Tribute.

Sidney Ourchundro, of Pittsburgh, Pa,
writes: Il have used DIR. VIM HALLS BAL
SAM FOR THE LUNGS many years, with the
most gratifying results. The relieving iniu-
ence of HALLS BALSAM is wonderful The
pain and rack of the body incidental to tight
cough, soon disappear by the use of spoon
full according 10 directions. Ny wife fire.
quently sends for HALLS BALSAM instead of
physician, and health is speedily restored by
its use -
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

banquet to his fellow professors, and
was much put out because the cookery
was not to his taste. After time he
got up, bowed solemnly, said. go
lickee wife," and departed, returning
presently, smiling and bland IS usual.
after having administered iudicious
chastisement to his better half.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

When you visit or leave New York City, save
baggage, expressage, and % carriage hire, and
stop at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite
Grand Central Depot
6i3 rooms, fitted up at cost Of one million
dollars, 81 and upwards per day. European
plan Elevator. Restaurant supplied with the
best Horse cars, stages. and elevated rail-
road 10 oil depots. Families can live better for
less money at the Grand Union Hotel than at
any other first class hotel in the city.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
A Can That Fitted.

Morio, the court fool of an irrascible
emperor. made his master so angry by
his impudence that the emperor order
ed his immediate decapitation:: j.,
AS they were leading him off, the fool
said to his master:
IF were in your place / wouldn't
put people to such Inconvenience. If
you chop off my heed I'll have no place
to put my FOOLS cap, unless put it on
your Hajesty's head. "-TeCdS Sifti1lgs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
HAS BEEN O. X. EVER SINCE.

Messrs. Ely Bros, Gentlemen:-My boy
G. years ODD was recently taken with cold
which seemed finally TO settle in his head.
His nose was stopped up for days and nights
so that it was difficult for him TO breathe and
sleep. called a physician who prescribed,
but did him no good. Finally went TO the
drug store and got bottle of your Cream
1t seemed 10 work like magic. The boy
nose was clear i'm two days, and h, has been
O. X. ever siDce.-E. J. Hazard, New York
City. Jan. %, 1854.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
Free to Ministers, Lawyers, Doctors,
and Teachers.

If You will get your dealer to order from
his wholesale druggist one dozen bottles
WARMERS WHITE WINE OF TAR SYRUP
the best remedy in. the rorld for Coughs,
Colds, Asthma, Cdtdrrh, and Consump-
ton, will send two bottles free. Recon-
mend to your friends. Send name of
druggist who gives the order. Map of Holy
Land free with medicine. Address DR.. G.
ID. WARNER, Chicago, Ill. All druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

Every farmer living at any distance from a
physician should at all times be prepared to
treat such common but by no means simple
complaints as diarrhea, dysentery, cholera
morbus, and cramps. The safest surest
and quickest remedy for such disorders is
PERRY DAVIS PAIN KILLER, which has never
toned when properly tried A teaspoonful is
a dose for adults, but twenty drops will cure a
child of any ordinary trouble Of this kind
The medicine can be found in every respecta-
bic drug store
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

that you cannot afford 20 neglect that
catarrh? Don't you know that IL may lead
TO consumption, TO insanity. TO deathf Don't
you know that it can be easily curedy Dor
you know that while the thousand and One
nostrums you have tried have utterly failed
that Or. sage's Catsrrh Remedy Is a certain
cure: Ii has stood the test OF years, and
there are hundreds OF thousands OF grateful
men and women In all parts of the country
who can testify 20 Its efficacy. All druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

BoDens Budget, Fort Plain, n. Y, for
March, 1856, says: In the multiplicity Of
medicines placed upon the market, 1t is
sometimes difficult to distinguish between
the meritorious and the worthless. There
are at least two excellent remedies widely
used, the efficiency of which is unques-
toned. We refer to st. Jacobs Oil and
Red Star Cough Cure
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

II Is AMAZING that any human being should
continue 10 suffer from biliOusness, nervous
headache, Indigestion, or general weakness,
when il ia as notorious as that the sun is the
source of light that VINEGAR BIrTERs inevi-
tably cures these complaints. This medicine
IL sold everywhere, taken everywhere, and
cures everywhere. Reader, It will cure you.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
JIM MAHoNEY is the name of the only

JIM MAHONEY Is the name OF the only
remaining Chinaman at Guerneville,
California. He had promised to be-
come as much Americanized as posi-
bic, in order to keep from being driven
out of the town, and he has kept his
promise. He has cut off his pigtail,
takes writing lessons, and wears a silk
hot
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
As They DO IL in China.

British husbands, when their dinner
parties turn out failures, are apt to
grumble roundly at their wives for the
cooks misdemeanors, but they abstain
from the practical style of rebuking
practiced by the Celest ais. Recently
q Chinese professor gave q national
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
Mind the babies. Colds in the Head

and Snufies develop into Catarrh which
ruins the health. Use Ely's Cream Balm,
pleasant and safe remedy which will surely
prevent and cure. Ii ~ not n liquid OF
SNUFF, but is easily applied with the finger.
All druggists have IL. ~ cts by mail GO cents.
Send for circular. Ely Bros, Owego, N Y.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
Breach. Rupture. or Hernia.

Cures guaranteed in the worst cases No
knife or truss treatment. Pamphlet and
references, 10 cents in stamps Worlds
Dispensary. Medical Association, 663' Main
street. Buffalo, n. Y.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

"A HEN has to feet" "He done it. 4"
This is what Superintendent Il. Il. Rus
sell, of Brockton, Mass, placed upon
the blackboard for the pupils to cor
rect. This was the way one boy cor
rected it: "He didn't done it, God
done it."-Boston Journal Of Educa-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

To ERR is human, but you make no mistake
pepsia, costiveness, bad BREATH piles, pimples,
ague and malaria poor appetite, low spirits, or
diseases of the kidneys, stomach, and liver.
"a cent?
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

A 30 CENT bottle OF DR. Bigelows Positive
Cure will promptly and thoroughly cure the
worst case of recent cough, cold, or throat or
lung trouble Buy the dollar bottle for chronic
cases Pleasant to take.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

Solicitor of Patents +. o. McCleary, of
Washington, ID. c., says the only thing that
did him any good, when suffering with a
severe cough of several weeks standing. was
Red Star Cough Cure, which is purely veg
etable and free from opiates and poison.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
They VIII Not DO IL.

THOSE who, once take DIR. Pierce's "Pleas-
ant Purgative Pellets will never consent 10
use any other cathartic. They are pleasant
10 take and mild In their operation. Smaller
than ordinary pilh and Enclosed in glass
walls; virtues unimpaired. by druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

Why suffer Piles2 Immediate relief and COM
plete cure guaranteed Ask for Rough ON Piles"
sure cure for itching protruding. bleeding, or any
form Of Piles. 600. At Druggists or Mailed.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

" afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Rye Water. Druggists sell II. 25c.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

"ORDER slate" is the injudicous advice sus-
pended before certain coal Offices.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

Ira cough disturbs your sleep take Piso's
Cure for Consumption aud rest well
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
"KOIfGH ON PILES ID

corrects offensive odors at once. Complete cure
Of worst chronic cases; also unequaled as garglc
for diphtheria. sore throat. foul breath. Doc
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

To STRENGTHEN and invigorate the stomach,
and to stimulate the appetite take Ayers Pills.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

The best preparation for coloring the beard
is Buckmgham's Dye for the Whiskers.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
The Great German Physician.

FNE-two dollars and costs Finer-the
Judge. Fnis-the prisoner
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

FoGG speaks of the Government warehouse
as ~purgatory," inasmuch as spirits are there
held temporarily in bond
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

II gray, restores to original color An elegant
dressing softens and beautifies. No oil nor
grease Tonic Restorative. Stops hair COM
ing out; strengthens cleanses, heals scalp, SOC.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
CROUCH ON ITCH I"

3Rough on Itch" cures skin humors, eruptions
blains, itch, ivy poison, BARRIERS itch. 5Oc Jars
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

AthIOphOrOsp probably saved my life,
as was running down rapidly from rheu-
matism and could not have endured the pain
much longer. IL afforded me the only relief
] ever experienced except from hot water.
Mrs Kate Sherman, Streator, Ill.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

WHEN you zee man full OF liquor the con-
temptation Of supreme being is gratifying.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

THERE il town in Massachusetts, not afraid
Of smallpox or typhoid fever. It's Haddam.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

TIE Frazer Axle Grease is the very best
A trial will prove we are right.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
"ROUGH ON BILE" PILLS

start the bile, relieve the bilious stomach, thick
aching head and overloaded bowels. Small gran
ules small Dose big results, pleasant in opera
ton, don't disturb the stomach 25c.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

MANY people in this world are so ignorant
that they gain fame as newspaper WRITER'S
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

The habit of running over boots or shoes
corrected with Lyons Patent Heel Stireners
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

|. Gu R z FITS!
when ! not mean merely 70 stop them LOT
n Inc aud then have them return again, mean raai,
cal cure have made tho disease OF FITS, EPlIEfSn
or FALLING SICKNESS a lifelong study. warrant my
remedy TO the worst Because others nave
failed for not receiving cure scna
once for treatise and Free Bottle or my nssloio
remedy give Express and Post once. IL costs you
nothing for trial, and viii cure you.
Address DR.. II. G.. ROOT, ls3 Pearl ST.. New torS
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
A Warning to Farmers.

THE devil is gentleman and will get up and
60 If he liz told Sam Jones
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13

~Too-FoRTE," as the horseman said TO the
Professors performance on the piano.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
slough on Rate clears out Rats, Mice. 15c.
WEII'S HAIR BALSAM

.Rough on Corns hard or soft corns, bunions 15c.
SRough on Toothache." Instant relief 15c