Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1886-03-21
THE RAMsLER.s RACKET.

Yesterday was not a lovely day, judging
by all could find out from people whose
veracity have never questioned, but it was
not what would call Q regular snorter. A
great many went for me on account of hsv-
ing promised that there would be no very
severe blizzard, SO in order to prove that 1
am not liar, which is difficult Job some
times, 1 must give some excuse for nv SEEM
ing lack of authority in the commodity of
weather. never took much stock in March
weather anyhow, but when l made that
promise the indications were favorable, but
alas. March possesses the happy faculty of
busting the most favorable auspices. When
1 approached my mansion that night 1
found awaiting me at the door, the grand
master workman Of the equinoctial storm
association, at the head of delegation, de-
handing regular frst-class blizzard. Ipro-
tested that the interests of the travelling
public did not clamor for it, but he said
there would have to be compromise, else
he would order strike and the result would
be hurricane that would move stone side
walks and tear lamp-pos.s up by the roots.
l agreed to compromise and the result was
yesterdays mild type Of equinoctial storm
that generally ripens about this time of year.
Few men have been more successful in the
storm line than myself, having been born
the 25th Of March, and living in region
where storms were in high state Of cultiva-
ton, in my early youth was smitten with
the storm fever and invented superior
article to fill long felt want, but which was
superseded over year ago in the state of
New York by far colder blast, projected
by preacher, and which haunts the dim
corridors of profane history under the cog
nomen of "Rum, Romanism and Rebellion"
If could just seize that preacher by the
collar and the subsequent end of the pants
he would think cyclone had struck him.
But such has been the grand march of in
ventions in all ages, SO did not call for
congressional investigation with power to
send for persons and papers. America boasts
ofa larger storm area than any other town
this side of Kansas City, and yet the storm
industry is still in its infancy. / am proud
that this state of ours has been rescued by
the presence ofmind of the legislature
from the old style of cyclone,
drouth and grasshopper raid and handed
over to the refining influence of prohibition
and the new fish law. But 1 digress.
will henceforth use the ponderous
weight of my political influence
in bringing about q better class of weather
and unless l am hanpered by backward
spring, think my efforts will be topped off
with success.
Regarding my advice about cleaning up,
all but one man said they would do it, but
some one told Inc that that man said lied
about his place. Anybody who knows me
to be liar is requested to send in his name
not necessarily for publication. bu; as an
evidence of good faith.
met Colonel Sumner, of Arkansas City,
at the Douglas avenue depot yesterday
morning, and he teld me that there would
be 400 dwellings built in that town this year,
and that there are sixty under way now.
They are expecting many manufacturing
concerns, too, because Of their splendid
water power.
There was Mexican and Spaniard at
the depot yesterday morning who could
speak no English, but they knew how to
capture horse thieves. A young white man,
who owns ranch south of Caldwell, told
me they had captured five horse
thieves wes, of Kingman. The Mex
lean went right into the house
although one of the thieves mad bis gun
drawn on him. They live in the Nation,
twelve miles south OF Caldwell. The sher-
if of Kingmsn county helped them make
|, the arrests.
1 was talking with W. +. Green, at the
postoffice about taxation, basis and all that
sort of thing, and was surprised TO find
how thoroughly conversant he Is with that
subject, but the most surprising part of it
} is his wonderful memory. He can give his
last years valuation on almost any building
. or stock of goods in the city from memory.
! Probably dozen people asked me what
railroad news the EAGLE would have to- day.
Every body looks to the EAGLE for reliable
railroad news, and the mercury is down
) pretty low when the EAGLE knows nothing
! about roads.
There is some talk of running Al Thomas
for councilman, but Al says he won't have
it, because the water franchise, also the gas,
electric light and street railroad franchises
are all granted, and he don't see any chance
to make an honest dollar in the council
now.
There was heavy battle fought on the
Avenue yesterday, and the whole field from
center unto marge, shook meath the heavy
fistic charge. 1t is not often in great battles
that the entire armies on both sides are
taken prisoners, but such is the case in this
war, and the hostile forces lsnguish in the
city stockade.