davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
Mr. Waldo Magnas met them on tn

Mr.. Waldo Magnus met them on the
stone-steps Of the Ionic portico.
Welcome, ladies ~ he said, cheerfully.
My wife will be here instantly to receiys
jou."
His wife Mrs Montana aud her daugh-
ter looked in surprise at each other. His
wifei They could not understand this new
phase of affairs.
Why, mamma almost screamed Esme-
aida, "here is Olive-our Olive!"
And Olive, the family rebel, ran laughing
and blushing into Mrs. Montand's arms.
Are you very much surprised, man,
map" she exclaimed. 81 would not let
Waldo write it to you'll wanted to tell you
myself. We have been married a week y
You don't mean," said Esmeralda,
that you actually came here-you that
protested and declared you would die
first ?"
Yes, did," confessed Olive, with
sparkling eyes. Eve broken all those
VOWS and promises. I've forsworn myself
hopelessly. But really, Esme, could not
help it! And when found / was coming
to Castle Magnus, concealed my own
identity for long, long time, until I saw
that Waldo was getting fond of me. So
then thought I ought to tell the truth,
and offered to go away but"
But chimed in Waldo Magnus, with q
lender smile toward Olive, /" couldn't beal
to let all the light and sunshine go out Of
the old house, so persuaded her to stay
always"
And, after this first shock was over, Mrs.
Montana and Esmeralda were we'll pleased
For had not Fate and Cupid fought together
ON their side? Olive had married to suit
them, after all.--Helen Forrest Graues.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
A CurIous Case.

The French papers have been full Of o
case which junior members of the criminal
bar would do we'll to take note Of. A wo-
man was put on her trial for strangling her
baby, and at the preliminary examination
she confessed her crime. AT the trial medi-
cal evidence was heard, and the doctor told
the Judge he did not believe the woman was
the culprit. The finger marks were fresh
on the victims throat when he made his ex-
animation, and the marks were singular.
He examined the womnn's hands and found
her fingers long, slender, and well-shaped,
but the marks were of n short-fngered
hand, stumpy, and missbapen, and one of
tho fngers-the frst-was abnormally
short. On this the prisoner burst into tears,
said she was fond Of the child, had not de-
stroyed it, and mentioned in her excitement
the real culprit. He was a man Of a better
class of life, with whom she had lived as
domestic servant. His arrest followed and
The doctor pointed out that the prisoners
hands were formed as he had described,
md, moreover, that the first finger was
without nail and almost deficient Of q
Joint. On this evidence the jury convicted.
The case is interesting first rs showing
what our own books also afford m illustra-
ticn of--that o prisoner, though innocent,
may confess guilt, and secondly, that cir
cumstantial evidence may be almost abso-
lutely conclusive. Pal Mall Gasstte.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
What He Was Going to say.

Geo. w. Peck says Of his recent inter.
view with the President: 81 had thought
Of several things wanted to say 20 Mr..
Cleveland. Several Of the boys in Milwau-
kee had told me to give their love to Glover
if saw him, and had made up my mind
to just give him to understand that he was
thought good deal Of up in Wisconsin, and
that so far as could see his appointments
had given pretty general satisfaction, and
that we oil wished him we'll. 1 intended
that the few remarks should make would
be the greatest effort of my life. My idea
vas to wait till all the gang had passed him,
and then bring up the rear, and when he
took my hand would hold on to it and
speak about as follows Mr.. President,
cannot let this occasion pass without saying
to you that the people of Wisconsin are
very proud that you have got along as we'll
as you have. The Republicans are hopeful
that you will not do anything very brash,
and the Democrats will stand by you. Ed.
Wall and Bill Dodsworth, who is an old
Buffalo boy, aud Art. Delaney, and George
Paul, and any quantity of Milwaukee boys,
want to be remembered to you.' O, had
aspeech as long rs your arm that was GO
ing TO fire at him, and fell in behind the
crowd and went along. A big hand was
reached out, and mine was clasped by the
President, at last. had his hand. | had
my head down to keep me from stepping
ON the trail of woman ahead of me, who
seemed to linger longer than was necessary.
AS her trail disappeared, was just going
to look up to say my speech, when he let
go my hand and reached for another fellow
just behind me, and the other fellow
stepped on o stone-bruise on my heel,
The only heel have got with stone bruise
IN it, and looked around at the big foot
ed galoot behind me, and was borne out Of
sight, and hope never to see the back of
my neck il had said word to the. Pres
dent
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
NO. 734


- reporter dropped into one OF tho lead
ing stationary stores recently to purchase
some note paper. Something for pres
ent? ~ he was asked. On replying in the
negative the clerk went on to say: eve
have great deal of trade in fancy box
paper for holiday presents this is all done
up in boxes that cost as much as or more
than their contents, so that is the reason
asked.
" 1t is quite fancy now to make absent
friends presents of writing material, per.
haps as polite hint to be more regular in
correspondence. At any rate, whatever the
reason may be, l know that our holiday
rade in box paper and gold pens is twice
what it was last year.
" Gold pens? Oh, yes they are fully
as popular as ever, many people using moth
ing else, and we have some regular custo-
mers who manage to get away with four or
five year. No, it doesn't seem economi-
cal for gold pen, with proper usage,
ought to last q lifetime, as 1t can always bs
repointed when necessary at a triaing cos
and be made practically as good as new.
Some few people cling lovingly to the
quill pen, and we carry stock OF quilts
for the accommodation of our customers I
notice TINT many of the old gentlemen who
came to us for them few years ago have
aot come OF late, and year by year the trade
grows less. Quill pens belong to a past
generation, and few years from now q
search through the stores for one will be
fruitless.
. Pencil cases Yes, we carry some, but
they are more properly in the province OF
the jeweler, as they are used but very little
except as watch charms.
speaking of watch charms, suppose
you know that seals have come into fashion
again; remember that, and when you write
10 your best girl be sure and put little
dab of sealing wax, nicely impressed WITH
your initial, over the flap of the envelope.
We have large line of these seals in thu
form of hand stamps, and among the jewell
lers you will find them in the shape Of
watch charms and rings. ~ Chicago Ne,os.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
John ISelIy,s poubIe,

John Kelly is subjected TO peculiar an
,oyance. The advertisers OF patent medi.
cine have come out with letter from q
man who declares their nostrum has cured
him Of nervous exhaustion and acute dys-
pepsia, after he had been utterly and hope
lessly FRUSTRATED for long time that no
now expects to resume his former active oc-
equations; that he feels as though the pub
lie ought to be informed Of the facts, and,
finally, the signature is John Kelly"
The symptoms described in the testimonial
are the same as those in the illness of the
Tammany chief, the name is his, and the
wording is such as to leave no doubt in the
minds of most readers that it is the famous
John Kelly who announces his recovery;
but Of course it is not, and the device is o
clever fraud. There are two pages full of
John Kellys in the city directory, aud it is
impossible to determine which of them, il
any, signed the ingenious letter; but poll
tician John Kelly declares that it surely is
not he, and that he means to spend the
winter somewhere in the South, in quest Of
hat restoration to health which the uni.
ientifable John Kelly proclaims.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
Brother Gardner Badly perplexed.


When the meeting opened in due form
Brother Gardner announced that the Hon.
Profile Livermore, of Arkansas, was in the
ante.room and waiting to address the meet
ing. The subject of his address was
Has the White Man Passed His Zenith ?"
If there were no objections he would be
brought in.
Prof. Wintergreen Davis didn't propose
to object, but he would like to be informed
Of the meaning of the word zenith. He had
attended tweniy-one different ward caucuses
md had clerked in wood yard for three
weeks, but he had never met with the word
before.
There was deep silence as he settled
down, md Brother Gardner scratched his
bald plate until rs if the friction would start
fire.
Zenith" he finally said, why, I ar
mo- dan surprised at your ignerence. Ebery
Guild pusson in dis kentry orter know all
about zenith.p
Yes, sab, but de word breaks me up
Zenith am a droful easy word,n con-
uuueu ING IreSluent as ne looked up ana
down the hall in nervous manner. /" You
iidnt git zenith an either all mixed up, did
you2p
No, sah.n
When anybody says dat Samuel Shin,
fur instance, has pissed his zenith dey
can't be Token mp fur Islander. II means
it means"
He waited 80 long that the Rev. Penstocl
arose and said
NIsser President, 1t means dat he hat
passed his best pint Zenith am de highest
pitch.
Brudder Penstock, sot right down dis
mint !" exclaimed the President as he used
ais gavel in vigorous manner. " Who
lxed you to riz up an 'splain bout zenith ?
When dis chair can't stan on one leg an
splain any word in common use he will
confess his ignorance an call fur helpi /
shall fine you $1,000 fur disturbin' dis
meetin' an Prof. Davis will now be brung
in !"-Proceelings Lime Kiln Cfu5 in
Detroit Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
Tse.erIus mp and Down.

A speculator in four years has paid one
drm in Wall street the sum of $3.50, 900 in
commissions. He was wealthy man when
he went into the street with lsudable but
unwarrantable desire TO increase his patri-
mony by specializing in stocks. Now, SO
heavy have been his losses that he would
be satisfied If he possessed the sum he has
paid out In commissions. As it is, he will
cheerfully accept clerkship in the said
hrm, who wish to avail themselves Of his
numerous acquaintance to increase their
custom II he had been contented with a
handsome sufficiency for the day, amount
Ing really TO superabundance, he would
now be in afauence instead Of in the posi-
ton Of comparative destitution he is. On
the other hand, o young clerk q few years
ago commenced to speculate in the street
with $200, the savings Of q years abstinencs
from smoking, and now is worth in real
estate over 81 900, 900 and several more in
Securities. In Wall street speculation, more
than In anything else, what is game for one
man IL ruin for another.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
a Confederate Giant. sword.

Among the relics of the late war slowed
away in the United States Ordnance Muse
um is sabre fully five feet long, which
was found on the battlefield of Manassas
This formidable looking weapon was evi.
IDENTIFY made in some village blacksmith'a
shop, from the tabled ploughshare, at the
outbreak Of the war, and its handle appears
to have been carved with a jackknife from
cows horn. A virginian who visited the
museum recognized the sabre as one that
had been used by giant Virginia cavalry
man in Jeb" Stuart's command. The
calvalryman in question, " said the virginian,
was nearly seven feet high, and broad in
proportion. He had that big sabre made
by q crossroads horseshoer, and promised
to hew his way through the Yankee linea
with it and enter Washington but, poor
sllow, he wa shot at Manassas before hs
could carry out his rash purpose"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
Jake Brings In n statesmar.

"what is 1t now, Mr.. Dunder 2" asked
the Sergeant at the Central Station recent
", as the individual named made his APP
pearance, with an anxious look on his face.
"vhell, maybe vhas arrested"
Haven't heard of it. Have you been
breaking the law ~
Well, I told VOW no yhas. You know
my poy Shake? Well, Shake he travels
nit Toledo und Chicago two times, und he
vhas posted. Ipays taxes in two wards,
nnd Shake he was proud of me. Der odder
lay he says to me ::
q Fadder, like to pring in distin-
guished man to talk nit you. He vhas o
man nit rich mind, und 1t yhas pettor for
you to talk NIT him. II peoples see some
Statesmen come in here it vhas potter fur
us dan prass pand.
"Vhell, I tells Shake ii vhas all right,
und he goes out and prings in some stran-
ger. l scrapes und bows und shake hands
mid me. says it vhas almost like summer,
but he says holdings. ask him II he pc.
lieyes Shudge Powers Was confirmed, und
he doan't sfpeNk. mention don't like to
go to Congress myself, but not one word
does he say. yhell, Sergeant, by und by /
yhas madt. Dot Was no vhay for some
statesman to net Of me, und takes him init
der collar und walks him oudt doors. When
he hnngs pack Ieedle gif him two kicks.
Dot poy Shake vhas all der time laughing
SO he almost shplits in two, und by and by
he tells me dot man vhas denf und dumb"
g Yon nre liable to arrest, said the ser.
geant.
Yes, pellet vhas, but what shall hap
pen to Shake f'
~ don't know
Sergeant, you look at me. vhas go
ng home I take dot poy down cellar
Eaferpody aroune shall hear such groans
und squalls und shrieks ash neffer vhas, und
II a mob comes to preak in my doors tell
'em It vhas Shake hunting after rats EAT
doan train him oop nit his youth he goes
nit State Prison und yhas pardoned oudt
in three months ln-D Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03

Aspecialist in throat troubles was called
% treat o Boston lady who manifested SO
much interest in his surgical instruments
that he explained their uses to her. " This
laryngoscope,' said he, Ia fitted with
small mirrors and an electric light; the in
terror Of your throat will be seen by me as
clearly as the exterior; you would be sur
prised to know how far down we can see
with nm instrument Of this kind" This
operation over, the lady appeared somewhat
agitated. "Poor girl" said her sister, who
was present, II must have been very pain
!ul." Oh, no, not that, not that" whis-
pered the Boston lady; but just as he
liked his instrument in place remembered
that I had hole In my stocking"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03

There is disposition on the part OF some
Of our contemporaries to get up scare about
trichium, and they have probably succeeded
in alarming any Of their readers foolish
enough to regard this sensationalism as en-
ierprise. Nevertheless, the people continue
20 eat pork, and very few of them die OF
trichiniasis. II will be noticed that in all
reports of such cases the names of the VIC
Tins show them to have been German. The
fact seems to be that trichinse cannot sur
viye great heat. II pork is thoroughly
cooked, as 1t always ought to be, 1t may be
eaten without fear of contracting trichini-
asis.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
POETRY.


The ATalsr's Story.
WAL, yes said the major, unfolding his knife,
And shaving slice from his chair,
I come from family OF purity long life
The longest, reckon, round hyar.
my gran'father lived to mighty old age
He died at two hundred and four
But the major stopped short In his yarn at thi'
stage,
For hsjudge entered in at the door.
Now, major" the Judge very gravely remark
ed,
"Iknew your old grandfather well;
He was just eighty-three when his spirit en-
Darked
For that bourne where the good spirits dwell.
For moment the major had nothing TO say,
But finally rose to his feet:
He died at two hundred and four Broadway
Then the judge moseyed up and stood treat
Chicago Netos
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
-'-7------7-7-7777- ks---~VE --7--7-=----
How Somo Rich Men Eat.

I" Few rich men know how to live," said
Colonel Tom Ochiltree tonight, as he An
ished dish Of terrapin aud tackled can
vas back duck in the cosy rooms of the
Carlton Club. tOf all the wealthy men l
ever knew John w. Mackay, the bonanza
king, is the best diner. Every day while
here in New York he has six plates spread
in private room in the Hoffman House
dining room and friends who drop in are
invited to partake Of that which does their
hearts good. Isuppose Mr.. MackaY spends
from 800 to 300 every day for his evening
meal and it is as fine as can be procured.
Next to him comes Robert Garrett. He
knows how to eat and can order as fine o
meal for as reasonable price as any man
ever knew. Levi P. Morton is also re-
markably good liver. He gives the touch
Of great style to his meals and in Paris kept
any other perhaps, except Rothschild.
Vanderbilt lived like laborer, fed on
coarse food and never knew anything about
the charms OF the dinner table. He rarely
had friends around his board and ate hin
meals without much more zest than an ami.
NAL that picks the bones that are thrown to
IT,. Jay Gould was the most curious man
At the table ever saw. He ate little Of
everything at the same time and seemed to
have no idea Of meal except to get it down
as quickly as possible. Just think of it. |
have seen him eat griddle-cakes with mo-
lasses on with his fish and do many other
equally absurd things. The dinner table
is the place where the cares Of life should
be laid aside. Digestion is given chance
by chat and long waits between the courses
A man who shovels his food in almost al
wsys has dyspepsia. Most rich man have
80 long made the dinner table simply
waiting place for food and water, like the
stage station along the roadside, that when
they have the means to buy good meal
they have lost the capacity to enjoy it,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
TIE WORK OF CROOKS.
uow sauabaa. are Used BY Grimm.

Tow Snudbusa are Used by Criminals.
The season for sandbagging Is rapidly
coming round,n said the detective to the re-
porter.
81 should think it would be risky bust.
ness. They might some time wake up the
wrong passenger.
Sometimes they do,n he replied. "It
they don't lay out their man the first crack
and he happens to have gun he usually
uses it. But he usually sizes up his man
if he understands his business. These re-
cent daring robberies of ladies in the aris-
tocratic portion of the city around Twenty
'econd street, among the elegant residences
;oward the lake, we're without danger" said
;he party in position to know.
"Why, l."
"rll tell you. There was in all proba-
bility double play to the scheme. These
ladies, elegantly attired, board the Cottage
Grove avenue and State street cars, and on
many of them there is at least one watchful
woman. She may be handsome, young and
giddy, but she is always splendidly attired.
She has keen eye, however, and observes
as her lady companions pay their fares. The
party with the plethoric pocketbook is close
ly watched. The spotter alights when the
other does, goes into the same store, posi-
BILE buys triie, and, If possible, engages
her lady friend in conversation in order to
ascertain more freely the depth of her
wallet. II satisfied the game is worth the
powder she goes out and imparts the infor-
nation to her accomplish on the corner.
He is usually fine, but seriously dressed
individual, frequently wearing whiskers
carefully combed. The woman gives him
the tip and returns to the store until such
time as the intended victim has made her
purchases and departed. II the Investments
exhaust her cash the spotter gives tho
queer sign to her confederate, and they
start on another lay. If everything is right,
however, she gives him the wink and he
follows the victim until he either picks her
pocket or strangles her after she leaves the
car. The spotter in the meantime is prac-
ticing her legitimate vocation of shoplifting.
These short days are just the thing for this
kind of work. A lady goes shopping in
the afternoon, and it will be dark almost
invariably before she returns home. You
may call us suspicious of everybody, but
we have reason to be so. The fact ia, you
don't know, unless you are PERSONAL, ac-
quainted with the person, whom you are sit,
ting next to in street car. ~ Chicago Nail.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
Under sse Hol,y Bsuxh

Under the Rally Bsugh.
Ye who have scorned each other
Or injured friend or brother
In this fast-fading year:
Ye who by word or deed
Have made akind heart bleed
Come gather here.
Let sinned against and SHINING
Forget their strife's beginning
And join In friendship now;
Be links no longer broken,
Be sweet forgiveness spoken
Under the holly bough.
Ye who have loved each other,
Sister and friend and brother,
In this fast-fading year
Mother and sire and child,
Young man and maiden mild
Come gather here
And let your hearts grow fonder
AS memory shall ponder
Each past unbroken VOW.
Old loves and younger wooing
Are sweet in the renewing
Under the holly bougn.
Ye who have ncurished sadness,
Estranged from hope and gladness
In this fast-fading year;
Ye with o'erburdened mind
Made aleons from your kind
Come gather here.
Let not the useless sorrow
Pursue you night and morrow;
II Ger you hope hope now.
Take heart, uncloud your faces
And join In our embraces
Under the holly oough
Charles MacHav.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
whlm. Of a Bride.

A peculiar ceremony was performed In
the East End on Wednesday evening. A
marriage took place, both the bride and
bridegroom wearing narrow black masks
over their faces, which were removed just
as soon as the ceremony was over. II is
alleged that the adoption of the masks..was a
freak of the bride. Another vagary she in
sisted on WAS that no mention whatever
should be made Of the nuptials in eny Of the
public prints. The bridegroom without q
murmur acquiesced Toronto Special IN tho
N. Y. Morning Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
Inc Advice They Want.

number of physicians in New York
have volunteered to give lectures entitled,
"Whnt to do until the doctor comes" II
they would tell people what to do after the
doctor has gone and sent in his bill the in.
formation would be thankfully received by
many needy persons.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-02-03
NJ. l.. TRIMMER,
COUNSELOR AT LAW,

SUPREME COURT COMMISSIONER,
REAL ESTATE AGENT. &c.
OfHco-- Bridge ST., adjoining Lambertyie House,
LAkBERTvILLE. N. J.
All legal business promptly attended to. Special
attention given to the settlement OF estates fore
closures and collections.
May 20, 1885.