The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-05-12
Pith and Point.

u
ton at Texarkana, Ark.
LITTLE things will tell, especially littl,
brothers Phiddelphid Item.
TEN per cent of the earnings of the people
DURING the past few weeks Eastern tou
rists have been spending about 100000 day
in San Francisco.
THE papers now in the admitted files di
vision of the pension Office pertaining tC
claims only of the late war, weigh over 28C
tons.
IT seems, according to recent investiga
! tons, that Columbus was not, after all, 8
| Genoese, but native of Calvi, q town In
Corsica.
In one week an English woman accused
of poisoning her husband received seventeen
offers of marriage, including one from
clergyman.
PEOPLE hire lawyers in certain cases fol
two reasons. One is for the settlement OF
disputes and the other to dispute settle
ments.-Ne'c Orleans Picoyune.
SOME years ago Mrs. Hugh g. Harrison OF
Minneapolis persuaded her husband to pur
chase house and lot in that city for 81 200
The other day he refused $165,000 for the
same.
THERE are two things which positively
:" And what are they?" asked his friend
Breakfast and dinner" was the reply
DdnsrHle Breeze.
A COUNTRY contemporary puffs soap
man and his soap, concluding as follows:
"The manufacturer of the best soap ever
used for cleansing a dirty mans face. We
have tried it, therefore we know"
A FARMER living in Lincoln, Iowa, re-
Gently sold his wife to his hired man for
$3.50. The wife and hired man left for the
East on a tour, while the farmer is selling
his property and will remove to Texas.
A PHENOMENAL baseball pitcher, who
struck out twenty-seven men in recent
game, says the secret of curve pitching can
be learned by watching woman trying to
hit hen with -Phiiadelphid Herald.
A CoLoRED man went into a Galveston
newspaper Office and wanted to subscribe to
the paper. How long do you want it?'
asked the clerk. Jes as long as it is, boss
if it don't fit the shelves, kin tar piece
off myself"
CARTERsvILLE, Ga, is proud of Joe, dog
of superior intelligence. He has been known
to seize an ear of corn, carry it to a rat-hole
shell off a few kernels, back off out of sight
and then pounce upon the rat thus entced
to destruction.
A NEBRASKA man who went to San Fran
cisco wrote back to his friends: We had a
splendid party. There were two gentlemen
from Nebraska, pair of colonies from Mis-
souri,, couple of fellows from New York
and a son-of-a-gun from Boston,"
IT is said that Sitting Bull has declined to
write " war article " for an American
magazine. We have better opinion of that
old butcher, now. He may have no consci-
entious scruples against imbruing his hands
with human gore, but he cannot tell a lie
Norristo,cn Herald.
81 DON'T want any castor-oil, )" said a sick
little Boston boy, petulantly, and l Wont
take it," Why, Horace" expostulated
his mother, " don't you know that castor
oil is made from beans?" And the little boy
whose faith in his mother is perfect, took
the dose and feebly asked for more.
TOWNSVILLE, n. Y, has a very absent
minded citizen. Two mornings in succession
after milking the COW he set the pail of milk
in a corner and carried the milking-stool
into the house. On the third morning he
took basket of turnips to the COW, emptied
them before her, and then began to milk
into the basket. He had presence of mind
enough to stop when about half through
milking.
A BoYCoTT wandering in the wood came
suddenly face to face with a Blackmail
Each started back in establishment at seeing
his own features reproduced in the counte-
nance of the other. After mutual inquiries
each rolled up his sleeve, and the straw
berry-marks on the arms were found to be
identical. TIL Boycott proved to be the
Blackmail's long-lost brother, just arrived
from abroad.-Chicago Tribune.
IT is hard for an editor to please some peo-
pie. A " constant reader " in search of use
full information recently addressed com.
municaton to a western paper, asking what
is the characteristic feature of summer in
this country. The editor calmly answered
-" Heat in the next issue, and the constant
reader got wrathy and told the editor that
h.ax aSlx OLD
again. He now writes letters to the oppos
ton paper under the signature of " Vindex.'
If President Cleveland complied with al
requests for lock of his hair his head
would be as bare as billiard ball in less
than a week. One lady from indianapolis
has written that she is poor, and asks the
President to instruct his barber to forward
to her all the hair cut from the executive
head. She proposes to make this hair into
Cleveland charms and sell them to gen
tlemen to wear on their watch-chains
Another person in Richmond, Va, wants the
same hair to stuff a pincushion made of silk
taken from an old United States flag This
cushion she will rattle at church fair for
the benefit OF needy Methodist congrega
ton.
A FAMOUS communist has been telling
Arlo Bates that in three years every servan
girl will belong to the order of the knights
of Labor. Then" he says, !" they will com,
to me and say, What shall we do next ?
And I'll say: What wages are you get
f. ting? And they'll say: Fifteen dollars
MONTH oh, I'll tell them, ask $50
week. Nobody can live on less than $50 {
week And they'll say nobody will Civ,
it; and then I'll have to tell 'em there
nothing left but to smash things; and they'l
smash, and We'll all be poor and miserable
and free and equal together. That'll be Clio
rious; I'm waiting for the coming of tina
dayn'