davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
WHY he FINED HIN.

"Judge, said q man who had been
summoned on a jury, " 1t is impossible
for me to serve. Ny business is such
that cannot leaveit."
Any man can plead business" the
Judge replied.
Yes know, but every mans busl.
ness is not so pressing as mine Ia. / tell
you that no one but myself can attend
to it."
"well, will excuse you"
The man went away-went n fishing
The next day bench warrant was issued
for him.
81 can mako no defense, your honor,
except that / told the truth. No one
but myself can do my fishing. II any
one else were to do it would not enjoy
1t in the least. There are times when
man has to fish-got to do 1t. Bass
and pike are striking now. Yesterday
after trying minnows without success, I
tried a troll. Well, sir, q five pound
bass nabbed it before 1t had touched the
water. He was so large, and pulled so
hard, that had to play him. Never
saw anything like it. He dashed the
water into foam. Never saw such
capers."
Ibid you get him2" the Judge e1citedly
asked.
Ncii, OH, ue bAOho my eiOilb huu--
B" What?"
Eyes, snapped 1t off like a pipe stem.
l was determined to get him, so /
caught n grasshopper, stuck it on
Limerick and put 1t under his
nose. He wouldn't even smell OF 1t. I
hadn't another troll so I decided to
shoot the beauty. I drew my pistol,
leaned over the water and. just as was
In tho act OF pulling the trigger. the
bass jumped and grabbed the barrel OF
my pistol"
Whatw
Eyes, sir, and held on to It,"
so you got him?"
Z" Yes, sir" and tho prints Of his teeth
are in the pistol barrel now"
g You don't tell me sop"
Yes, SIR"
g Mr.. Clerk" said the Judge, enter up
a fine OF one hundred dollars against
the defendant"
What, hundred dollars fine Just
because misrepresentation"
"Oh, no, said the Judge. II don't fine
you because you told lie. but because
you did not tell me that you were going
fishing. 1 would have adjourned court
and gone with YOU"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
DRS. STARKEY & PALEN,
" No. 1929 Arch street. Philadelphia, Pa,

VENTS For "History. Romance and
w A NTICD Philosophy Of Great Ameri
can Crimes snd Criminals. The NEST startling
book OF recent years Biographical, Pictorial. Isl
superb engrAvings with personal portraits of the
cehnrafed criminals. SIS royal octave pages. Low
retail price. saSe. work Of art as we'll as Of
thrilling historic interest. II bound to produr.
profound impression. Agents sell IL by the
Agents Wanted ! p ssas for , .sa
De convineed that this is the most salsbie and
proataole book published; or TO save time SEND rs
cents at once for cAnsMsinR book, ana take your
enoier 81 townships. Address: OCCIDENTAL,
PUBLISHING CO.. San Francisco, CAL mI5wiTt
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
THEIR BEST FRIEND.

Amid their costly bric-a-brac-
Proofs, etchlngs, bases. statues tall,
l saw-where should have hung q
plaque
A twelve-foot ladder on the wall
With dainty bows t was covered Ger
In modern decorative way;
And, in the light, itglittered, for
The sides and rungs with gilt were gay.
II value that above the rest"
The newly-married said, In glee;
For down those rungs. with throbbing
breast,
One night maiden came to me.
And after we were safely wed
Her parents sent the ladder hero
Our wedding gift It was all they said.
And now we hold 1t very dear-[Life.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
Dirt Cheap.

A small boy of the Journals acquaint-
ance, reading advertisements, comes to
the following:
.' For salo-Barber shop; dirt cheap"
Small boy, with look Of disgust on his
lace: Say, paw, don't you think it's
cheeky in the owner to want to charge
anything for the dirt2"
This anecdote teaches that the public
school system is sadly deficient in the
department which should make pupils
familiar with the use OF elegant CONNER.
cial terms.-t Indianapolis Journal.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
How She Walked.

A teacher in one of our public schools,
when trying to define the word " slowly 4"
to her pupils, walked across tho room so
81 WHY that she wobbled In her gait,
and then asked:
How did walk7r
A big boy in the back part OF the room
paralyzed her by blurting out:
Boy-legged. ma'amw
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
Gray Mule DAY,

A friend OF ours happened In one Of tho
dry counties, in another State, and where
there were no railroads or express facili-
ties, not long ago, and thought he felt the
need OF an accustomed appetizer before
his MONDAY meal,
. An appeal to an individual whose coun-
tenance indicated knowledge of the where
abouts OF the material sought called out
this astonishing information and sug-
gestion:
There's nothing sold here; but in ten
minutes you'll see a niger go by on a
gray mule. Halt him and give him q
half dollar. Tomorrow is roam mule
day."
Our friend halted the "nigger" and
gave him the money, no words passing at
oil. In an hour the gray mule was seen
again, and The former owner of the coin
was hunted up and given one OF twenty
or thirty bottles carried In sack by the
negro.
or course. the liquor was vile. for it
was liable to seizure at any time. and
the profits had to be large to cover the
risks.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
BY an Old bachelor.

1t only costs O dollar now to get mar
rage license in Maryland.
This cheap style OF marrying Is q good
deal like O church fair, where 1t costs 10
cents to get In and everything you've got
to get out.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
DIR. VAN MONCISCAR,
132.l34 Third ST., Portland. Or.

Is a regular graduate
in medicine; has been
longer engaged in the
Special Treatment Of
all Nenereal, Sexual.
and Chronic Diseases
than any other Physi.
clan in the West, as
city papers show and
old residents know.
$1,000 reward for
any case he fails to
cure coming under
his treatment by fol-
lowing his directions.
DIR. VAN. is tho
4
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
SCROFULA

lido not believe that
Ayers Sarsaparilla
has an equal az a cure
for Scrofulous HUI
mors. 1t Is pleasant
to take, gives strength
to the body, and pro-
duces q more perma-
nent result than any
medicine I ever used.
e. Haines, North
Lindale, Ohio.
/ have used Ayers
Sarsaparilla, in my
family, for Scrofula,
and know, ii it is
taken faithfully IL will
thoroughly eradicate
this terrible disease.
w. +. Fowler, NJ. d.,
Grecnvilie, Tenn.
For forty years I
have suffered with
Erysipclas. 1 have
tried various remedies
for my complaint, but
found no relief until
I commenced using
Ayers Sarsaparilla.
After taking ton bot
ties of this medicine l
am completely cured.
M. G. Alnesbury,
Rockport, Mo.
/ have suffered, for
years, from Catarrn,
which was so severe
that il destroyed my
appetite and weak
ened my systc IN.
After trying other
remedies, without re-
lief, / began to take
Ayers Sarsaparilla,
and, in q few months,
was cured. Susan l..
Cook, 500 Albany St.,
Boston, Mass.
Ayers Sarsaparilla
is superior to any
blood purifier that /
ever tried. I have
taken it for Scrofula,
& an ker, and Salt
Rheum, and received
much benefit from 1t.
1t Is good, also, for
a weak stomach. -
Mile Jane PIERCE. s.
Bradford, Mass. II
. Aver & Co.. Lowell. Mass.
six bottles, o..
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22

4U0 Gesry g.. San Francisco. IN
Conducted by Qualified Physj-
clans and Surgeons-regulsI grad
yates.
In the United Ststes, whose iiYE.
LONG ExrERiENcE, perfect method
and pure medic ne. insure speedy
and PERMANENT CUREs Of all Pm
vste, Chronic and Nervous Dis
eases. Affections of the BLOOD,
SKIN, KIDNEYS, BLADDER,
ERUPTIONS, ULCERS, OF d
SORES, Swelling Of the Glands.
Sur. Mouth. Throat. Bone Pains,
permanently cured and eradicated
from the ~ steiu tor life.
NERVOUS i ns%masy'
Seminal Losses. Sexual Decay
Mental and Phi, steal Weak.
ness. Failing Memory, Weak
Eyes. Stunted Development. I'M
pediments 70 Marriage, ETC.,
from exc~sses or youthful folliss.
or any Cause, speedily, safely and
privately cured.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22

This Portable Steel Water Jacket Smelter, in
vented by G. l.. Hnrtsfeld, the result OF many
years of practt al observation and experience in
Europe and America, is now offered to the public
a- the most complete, durable and successful fur
maze yet produced for the economical treatment OF
low grade ores 1t is built entirely of hinch steel
plates inside. and A-iuch boiler plates outside,
AMI has no cheap cast iron in its construction. Is
made in sections for transportation. and requires
NJ hri k work for foundation. The sizes range
l'H'H one to 80 tons. and are guaranteed to stand
'ht S.Nere tests ui mining camps.
any ores tn Il run above seven ounces silver per
ton may be readily SIN, lied. the most refrac-
t"sS nrss, with 10 per sent lead, with the Harris.
telf process. viii run like butter, and separate
like OIL ami water
This furnace requires no more care or attention
thSn an ordinary steam boiler, aud can be run as
long and with AS little loss of time expense for
repairs. Full Information will he furnished by
the Following licensed manufacturers on royalty:
lMRAY CO, London. Eng. and Melbourne.
Australa.
F; A. HUNTINGTON 4 CO., Chlhnshau, Mexico.
PARKE, LACY &Co.. Auckland and Chill, S. A.
W. t. GAREArr CO., San Francisco, Cal, for
the Pacific Coast.
McILVAIN n SEIEGEL, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Letters Patent have LeSn secured in all princi.
pal foreign couatries, and sold in shares le
royalty. or otherwise. Run your eye over this snd
return answer; si!snce means 40! Catalogue free.
HartSfeld Portable SlGlt'g Furnace
And Mining Company,
NEWPORT, ky, u. .. a.
70. Box HIS.
Reduction works Nos. % AMI % rhornt2r stree
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22

Inc Maths has
"n f, large Tapay and machine
operated Some belt machines
a,"mp sy mas iSs
nf hs inc work Of enc Then saving help
o can be successfully
the headings e ~
The machine
"n ne m Ger supply from II inch PIPE About
four per hour mineral in the se
bn men fen machine ordered we furnish
person xho ss o op
rate , the machine The charge for per
sns hnss whS viii make
complete plant including engine boiler puive1er
So ny the use the Machess
Approximate estimate oay product fhe Matches
eohceHtaor, mills treating so
Two Two n.si. S at. 49,. ::::: s. GO
Two %n :: :: sssni ., equivalent ss
w'1 and .. 49,. ...:.:::: co
r, . Teal Erpenss........ .... $50 90
ducinr ef tons ore silver
sS':s9 s. u s; y ssG:, ton $3.50
Cost offs concenha
p .nt st per ton concentrates Yield
"p 'e"' % per cent Market value
Sh''n Hsd2
Daily profit at Mill
saving pr mg*oo value gold silver reducing
o'' OF treatment -. . ...: $50 SO 60
Total cost oone nhes..
msl"r SIS @ Concentrates gold
1"'' ..... 525
p.. Daily profit .....
per day. s s PEP " .nn1I sS
charge. nren.d 10 with
satisfy can nave
nens.s will concentrate
other detailed information address: rS' FOR prices 'er"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22

Cstsrrh, Hay Fever, Headache, Debility,
rheumatism, Neuralgia, and all Chronic and
Nervous Disorders.
when compound Oxygen" Is Inhaled, the
heart has impaired to 1t increased vitality. That
less Wear to itself; the vital currents leave on
their circuits new deposits OF vital force in every
cell of tissue over which they pass, and return
again to tho lungs for anew supply. This Is u rs-
tonsl explanation of the greatest advance medic
science has yet made.
THE Compound Oxygen Treatment" Drs. Star
key Palen, NO. 1929 Arch street, Pbiladelphia,
tifc adjustment Of the eleme nts of Oxygen and
Nitrogen mSgnetized, and the compound 10 10 con.
densed and made portable that IL IL sent ell over
the world
Drs. Starkey 4 PAlen have the liberty TO refer
lin proof of their standing rs physiciAns.) to the
following-nnme well-known persons who have
tried their Treatment:
Hon. VIM. D. Kelley. Member Of Congress. Phiis.
Philadelphia.
Rev. Charles W. Gushing. Lockport, NJ
Hon. VIM. Penn Nixon. editor Inter-ocesn, ehiea.
ge,Ill.
Judge Joseph II. Flanders. Temple Court. NY.
Mrs. Mary A. Gator, widow OF the late Dr. Harvey
Gator, Garden. N. j.
Mrs. Mary A. Doughty Jamaica. Long Island. NY.
Judge r. 8. VOORHEES,, New York City.
Mr.. George W. Edwards, owner 81, George Hotel
Philadelphia.
Mr.. Frank Siddall. Merchant. Philadelphia.
Mr.. VIM. H. Whitley. Silk Manufactures, Derby.
Philadellhia. Pa.
And many others in every part Of the United
States.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22


YoUHG, MIDDLE.AGED and OLD men and all VINO
need medical SKILL and experience. consult the
old European Physician ct once. His opihien
costs nothing, and ma! save fntnre misery ans
shame. When incopvenient 10 visit the city for
treatment. medicines can be sent everywherc oy
express FREE from. observation. 1t is seif.evi'
dent that physician who gives his whole stten,
tion TO class of diseases nttains great skill, and
ply sicians throughout the country, knowing this,
frequently recommend difficult cases to the OLD.
EST SPECIALIST. by whom every known Coco
Remedy is used. The Doctors AGE and ExPE.
RIENCE make his opinion OF SUPREME impor.
tsnce
~Those who call see no one but the Docio.
Consultat free and Sacredly Confidential.
Cases which have failed in obtaining relief else.
where especially solicited. THE DOCTOR wall
agree TO forfeit 81 900 for case undertaken. not
cured. Call or write Hours: Daily, from Q n.
IN. to p. M, 6 to evenings; Sundays, 10 to II
only. Send for the Sanitsrist Guide to Health
SENT FREE. Address as above.
@The services CT the celebrated old German
Physician. DIR. o. GIRARD, from Strasbure, have
been secured st the LIEBId DIsPENsARY. His
fame specialist for diseases of men if univers.
ally known, and hundreds are daily ayailipg them.
selves of the opportunity of free consultation
personally or by letter, in all languages.
Oh. LIEBlG's WONDERFUL GERMAN NvIGoRArSk
permanently prevents all Unnatural Losses from
the system. tones the nerves, strengthens the mus
cles, checks the waste, invigorates the whols sys
TEN, and restores the afflicted to Health and Hsp-
piness.
The reason so many cannot get cured Of Seminal
Weakness, Loss OF Manhood, etc, Ia owing to a
pli crti"n. called PkOSTATORRHHA with HY-
PRRAETHESIA. which requires peculiar trest-
m-nt DIR. sbig's lnviporator is the only posi-
tive euro fer PROSTAToRRHEA. with peculiar
special treatment. need AZ tho Licbig Djspcnsary.
yAPICOCELE,
Or Wermy Veins Of the Srroum. Often the IN
| su-rcr'.d r.usc o. Lost Manhood, Debility, &c.
Price Of Invisorator, 50, Case of ak bottles $40.
Sent to any address. COVERED securely fro;a otseT
vstion.
Most powerful, electric belts free to patients.
To prove the wonderful power OF the Inviaor.
Ator,
50 BOTTLE GIVEN or SENT FREE.
Or. Liehig's Wonderful MAgEctie Henl,rs or Self
Msgnetizers the greatest curative invention cf The
age. Every man now re- their own
| Magnetic Healer. 1t can be used without the aid
of a professional hand rubber. consequently no
big fees to ray. Price s. complete. Sold only at
| the Lr. L;eLig Disr-nsSry.
Colsultstion free and private. Call or address.
LIEByG DISPENSARY.
4No Gesry Street. San Francisco, "a!
Private entrance, 485 Mason Street, four blocks
| up Gsary Street from Ksarny. Main entrance
through DispensHry Drugstore. j3otf
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22

compound O1ygsn--lts Modes of Action and
Re,ults. 10 ths title of brochure of nearly 400
pages. published by Drs. Starksy X Palsn, which
gives to all inqairers full information as to this
remarkable curative agent. and record Of surpris.
ing cures in wide range of chronic eases-msny
Of them after being abandoned to die ty OF her
phi, scians: 1t will be mailed free to any address
on application.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
A WE'LL TRIED TREATMENT

For Consumption. Asthma, Bronchitis, Dyspepsia,
Cstarrh, Hay Fever, Headache, Debility,
rheumatism, Neuralgia. and all Chronic and
Nervous Disorders.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
THE
DR.. LIEBlC
Private Dispensary,

4UO aeary st.. San Francisco. Ga
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-07-22
& II &c A e q
COTTAGE
ORGAN

Has attained u standard Of excellence which
admits of no superior
1t contains every Improvement that inventive
genius, skill and money can produce.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13
OilinV q Crank.

The palatial steamer Mary Powell
was on daily trip up the Hudson. A
number of passengers had gathered
around the open door of the engine
room, looking with interest at the
movements Of the ponderous machin-
cry. Among the passengers was Sam
Foster, New York gentleman, who
is a practical joker. He is young
man of means and was elegantly
dressed. He is moreover a very good
amateur ventriloquist.
"Now, boys, said Foster, let US have
some fun with the engineer"
A creaking, squeaking noise was
heard among the machinery. The
engineer was somewhat startled, and
he fabricated various and sundry
parts Of the machinery with great in
dustry and an oil can. The latter
contained half pint of oil. M
Foster nudged one of his boon com.
panions in the ribs, and pretty soon
the machinery squeaked again. Once
more the engineer calmed down a
suspected piston by amounting it with
his alleviator. The squeaking still
continued, and Foster pointed out the
place that needed oiling. Once more
the engineer took his alleviator, and,
removing the cork, poured the con-
tents down the back of the festive
Foster, and over his $40 suit of
clothes.
eThere," said the engineer. II don't
think that crank will squeak again
in hurry.p-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

ed himself out, Mrs. Charley was a
firm believer in sheol Charley made
her believe it. He howled, he swore,
he danced and stood upon his head.
His wife at first asked him "if it ach-
ed worse" Then she didn't dare get
within speaking distance of him until
in a moment Of wild frenzy he tore
the plaster from his face and dashed
it at picture of "Two Cherubs," !"
which was hanging upon the wall.
Then Charley tainted and she had
chance to look at his face. There
was the swelling, the mustard, the
pepper and two days beard all mix
ed together. The removal of the
plaster had also caused the secession
Of considerable section of cuticle,
and take it altogether it did not look
like the same face which Charley's
wife used to think "too sweet for any
u
thing" She thought that his face must
be sore, and she remembered that
once when she was a little girl she
burned her finger one day and her
mother put some cold molasses Oh the
injured member, and that took all the
pain away. So she took the syrup
pitcher and poured its contents on
Charley's face.
The two ladies who lived down the
block called just then to see who had
been injured in the house, as they had
thought they heard somebody groan
there. One Of these, when she found
out the cause of the trouble, said that
sweet oil and lime-water was good for
burns. She had some all prepared
at home, and she kindly offered to go
and get it, While she was gone the
other lady thought that -four was
good for burns, so they threw hand
ful of breadstuffs upon the molasses.
Then the other lady came with the
sweet oil and limc-water mixture, and
they poured that on. Just then the
family washerwoman called to see if
they wanted to have their washing
done the following day. AS Charley
still seemed to "sulier some pain,"
they asked the washerwoman, who
was old and Irish, and they thought
ought to be wise, as to what to do.
She thought that "blueing" was the
best thing in the world, and so they
added another color to Charley's face.
Well, the two ladies stayed with
Charley's wife that night, and they
have since declared that Charley is
the worst-tempercd man whom they
ever saw.
Charley is better now, but he says
that he will not get out of the house
for month to come unless he wears
n mask.-Denver Tribune-Republi-
can.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13
The Reason He Didn't Get It.

well, this is pretty time for you
TO get home, Mr.. Crap" caroled his
better half a that gentleman appear
ed before her in the carly morning
hours. II should think you would
be ashamed of yourself to leave me
alone This way"
81 couldn't help it, my dear. | had
to sec man, you know"
Had to see man, did you ?"
"Yes, my dear"
"What did you have to see him
about2"
about some money, my love"
"You saw him, | supposc?"
eyes, my darling, / saw him."
did you get the money 2"
"No, my dear"
"What did the man say p ~
"He said -four aces New York
Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

."Ah, dearest" sighed the young
man, kneeling at the feet of his own
est own, "dost thou.know what of all
outward things is nearest my heart ?'
Really, / can't say" she replied,
but if you have regard for your health
in this changeable weather / should
think it was a flannel shirt"
She was too practical and it broke
the engagement.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

A Florida farmer living on the
Ocklockonee river claims that it is
billiousness that makes man get out
of humor and fret and swear; when
he feels himself getting angry be
swallows compound cathartic pill.
Last week he was driving oxen and
swallowed thirty-seven pills in one
hour.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

"Kiss the baby while you can"
admonishes poet. We can kiss her
just as well eighteen or twenty years
from now-if she's that kind of a
baby, cautiously remarks the Buffalo
Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

A breakman who was caught be-
tween two freight cars, the other day,
was describing his sufierings to his
wife. "Why," she exclaimed, that's
just the way it feels when you are
breaking in new pair of corsets. y
Utica Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

John Boyle O'Reilly says that if
women ruled the world life would be
a poem. Perhaps SO, but the average
man don't want poem. He wants
pie.-New Bedford Mercury.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

Tennyson's latest poem is entitled
THE Close of another Eve" How
the world does improve. The first
Eve had no clothes at all, if the pho
tographs of the lady we have seen are
to be relied upon.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

A Texas couple had been to a mas
querade, and she had recognized him
at once. "Was it the loud beating of
your heart, my darling, that told you
| was near?' murmured he. "Oh,
no." she replied, 81 recognized your
crooked legs. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

Congressman Hatch, of Missouri,
wants to be relieved from serving on
the Agricultural Committee. 1t
strikes us that Hatch would be good
man to sit on the committee.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

Newspaper reporter to president of
company HAS your company taken
any steps yet to pay its taxes? ?"
"Why, certainly, sir. We have
made two protests against the consti-
tutionality of the law."-Wall Street
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

Poets and philosophers are the real
thinkers of the world. The mathe-
matician among scholars is a mere
figure head.-New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

Kentucky is called the "Pasteur
land" of America, because its inhab-
itants have q dislike of water.-Pitts-
burgh Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

Canon Farrar came to this country
for rest and took away $4,000.
He will take the rest on his next
Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-13

The Territory of Dakota asks ad-
mission, with her coat-of-arms bear
ing the motto, "By GOD the People
Rule" There is too much of the
cowboy about that. Why couldn't
they have been satisfied with the SIM
pie motto, "The People Rule" with
out the profanity ?-Boston Post.