Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-30
BRIGHT BITS.

A CORRESPONDENT asks: us it wrong TO
cheat lawyer" FIRST CHEAT the lawyer and
then We will answer the conundrum.-Pro0
dsnce telegraph.
THE Armour brothers Of Chicago have
founded a church and mission schnOi. Re
frigerator pews will be furnished during the
ummer.-PllcL.
THERE is man in the Ind annapolis Insane
Asylum who thinks he is a street car con-
ductor, He il Il self-made bel punch. which
ne never fails to ring when an imaginary fare
Is handed TO him. He must be hopelessly in
5ane.-PUcb.
THINGS one would rather have left unsaid:
She-We expected you to dinner last night,
Herr Profess r. We waited half an hour tor
on. nope II was not illness That prevented
you from coming
He-Ach, no, vas not hongry.-London
Punch.
YOUTHFUL DrDE lin the BARRIERS chair)-
say, do you think I'll ever have moustache?
We'll, can't say do
Y. D.-Hem. that's vewy odd. Why, my
guN 'ner has tremendous moustache.
Bsrber-Ah that may b.; but perhaps you
take after your ma!-T,d-Bits.
How are we getting along in the matter
Of fire insurance unGer the valued p icy
law" said keen New Hampshire citizen,
repea ing the question ask Il him by the Bull
letin representatives. ''Wcl. I'll tell YOU.
Our situation is like that Of a woman driving
Il horse. she can drive as vel rs man can
until something happens" B stOn Conslne
ll-BuiletiR.
A CALLER upon the President the other
evening was admitted o he domestic privacy
OF the interior of the White House. He found
he President earing the uniform OF a newly
| married man. He had on black silk smoking
zap, with long tasset reach ng down Dearly
to he centre of his back. Around his figure
was tied an Oriental-hued dressing gown Of
some crazy qni pate N. 1t is only in the
first hu7h OF married Ii that old b bachelors
oon-ent To wear dressing gowns and smnk ing
Caps. The fact that the President yields IT,
the beautiful custom shows that he is a good
husband.-Neeo York WorId.
GILHooLY and Hostetter McGinnis are two
Au tin young mon, who have heretofore lived
~ their WI It's. They had o money OF their
gambling Not long since G hooy's rich un-
Gle died and left him fortune. Shortly after
wards he met his old chum McGinnis, who
asked:
What has come over you? Before You
came into possession of all that money, you
were the jolliest fellow in Austin, always In
good humor and full OF fun; but now that
you are rich, you sit ar und as If you had the
toot hache. What has come over you, any
how?"
"You don't know, you can't possibly realize
how II hurts a fellow to have to spend his own
money. | can't shake off the impression that
I'm being robbed. "-Te1ds StItia9s.
YANKEE DOODLE
Yankee Doodle Is a name
with which you're well acquainted;
The owners gone the way II fame,
Aud has for years been sainled.
And, as to heavenly heights he rose,
. his happy va kee Doodle
Dropped on u rtiOn of his clothes
And mantled Yankee Doodle.
Yankees mother nad in bank
Some cash to keep l. handy;
He got from her a check n blank
Aud dressed just like dandy.
Yankee Doodle then became
Financial Secretary;
The bag was open, grab the game
He took al he could carry.
Now. where the cool ST. L lwrence glides
This wealthy Iankee noodle
With TanG-e Noodles wife resides
And with her Yankee poodle.
-, inclunnti Knnikirer.