The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1886-03-19
BRIEF LIST OF "DONT'S" FOR THE
WIFE To READ.

WIFE TO READ.
Don't disturb your husband while he is
reading his morning or evening paper by
asking foolish questions. lie may be only
reading the latest scandal or divorce suit,
but lie is just as much interested as though
it were foreign news or market reports.
BE patient, and when he comes across any
thing he thinks you can comprehend, per-
haps he may read it to you.
Don't communicate unpleasant news or
ask favor before eating. The heart is
not easily touched when the stomach is
empty.
Don't ever tell man he is cookbook
ing Some other woman probably will
some time, and in that case he won't know
that her opinion concurs with yours He
carries pocket hand-glass now. and he
will shortly become addicted to peiamas.
Don't put the morning paper at the bot
tom Of the pile and don't have more than
dozen different places for the button-
hook
Don't impose upon yonr husband jul t
because he is good enough to assist You a
little in your homework. Don't leave the
stove handle in the rcd-hot stove, and don
ask him to empty the ash-hod Draw a
line on the ash-hod, and don't run a free
horse to death.
Don't gather mp all his receipts and notes
that he has put carefully away on the sit
ting-room table--and tuck them in the fire
the moment his back is turned
Don't trade off all his old clothes for a
pair of china gods and then tell him about
it.
Don't monopolize every hook in the
closet Graeiously tender him one nail for
his very own-and then. in mercy, hang
your Mother Hubbard, your pelerine.
your shopping bag, and your bonnet some
other place.
Don't be inexplieit in giving directions.
When you ask him to 20 upstairs for your
portcmonnaie. tell him if is either on the
table or in the further corner of the left
hand side of the upper bureau drawer, or
in the pocket Of your brown dress in the
closet He will have no trouble in finding
tiff you can tell him just where it is,
especially the pocket.
Don't ask him Where he has been the
moment lie enters the house, or where he is
going if he starts out for a walk before
breakfast 1t nettles him, and men hate
to have such pointed questions sprung up
on them. Besides that, We live under a
free flag.
Don't ask him to walk the floor with the
baby half the night. 4 man who tramps
industr!ously aronnd a billiard table three
nights IN the week or buys an admission
ticket tn the opera can't be expected to be
on duty at home the other three nights
Have mercy on him and give the man an
opportunity to rccuperate.
Don't waste Your breath in useless
vituperation against his favorite ehum
Cultivate the ehum yourself-ostensibly-
when your husband snot around. and mat
tiers will assume a different aspect
Don't put pins in your curl papers or let
your erimpling pins dangle on your fore
head. They are denominations and fem
mime implementa of warfare that men des-
pise.
Doa't leave hair in the comb or your
neck curls where they win stick to his hair
brush Don't put long hair on the soap
or in his tooth brush-purposely.
Don't mend his hosiery with coarse cot
ton having knots in it larger than pea.
Don't be unreasonably vexed if he is not
ready for church as soon as you are. 1fhe
doesn't start to get ready till the bells be-
gin to ring. you mustn't expect the same
result as with yourself. who had the whole
morning before you.
Don't scold him because he leaves ashes
in his pipe One of the privileges Of a
married man is to leave an old pipe full
of ashes in just the position to empty the
contents on the window-sill or the mantel-
piece the moment it is touched.
Don't indulge in flights of temper when
your husband suggests how his mother did.
IL he objects to have eggs boiled in the
tea kettle, and prefers them washed pre-
vious to cooking. endeavor to please him
by INDUCING him in his fancies. In the
meantime bring your sons MP as carefully
as you can. and when they are married,
You yourself will doubtless he held up as
an example Of virtue; and revenge is
sweet
Don't be too prodigal in the use OF kind
ling-wood. There is no fruit of his toll
that man guards as iealously as he does
his kindlng-wood He would fain put il
where thieves break not through and steal
So. inst because you have free access to it
don't burn up enough 70 last week inon'
day.
Don't parley for the last word in dis
cussion. The sooner yon discover that it il
| a pleasure You must forcso, and make nj
your mind to elinquish it entirely, thu
sooner yau have chance in the family
and long life of fireside eoutentment-
/ Hargof IToh 81 Chicago Herald