The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-09-22
a WARM DAY.
The Horribly Torrtd or ToffidIy HorrlG
Summer CIi -iat6 of San Diego. Cal.

The Horribly Torrid or Tofrfdly Horrid
Summer CI'-iatS of San Diego. Cal. q
l take a piece of dried ink whitfield
down in my hand to Inform you that
the equstor has slipped several notches
or two and got directly over us, say ten
feet above us, with warmer indications
by the corn barometer, and making one
think he is in Wiltshire, sure. 1t stor.
ridly horrid. or horribly torr;d, We
don't know which, or both, but we
rather think so: The impression is that
we have dr;el and gene there, for we
never saw. so much weather with the
cold jerked completely out of it. The
beauty of it is that we do not allow any.
body to mention it only When he is by
himself. If a Hottentot were Here. to-
day he would become hottentotter. A
BRICK wal doesn't give any shade be.
cause the sun just knocks the mortar
otit between the bricks and, sh mes
through. 1t Is the hottest day ever seen
in this eotntfy, and YOU couldn't ex.
pect to find d hotter one in q future
country. Is, s;.. s.s,
Nothing VIII cast shadow. The
sun shines i'll the windows of all foui
SIDES OF the house. You walk around
without a shadow-which is a great
relief to some of the citizens; as even
the police can't shadow you. u
you ever had a shadow on your reputa-.
ton there is none there now. 1t is use.
less for your neighbors to try to lay
you in the shade. You do not need any
wood In tile stoves to cook with. as the
stoves are already red hot. 81
All kinds Of BUSINESS transactions.
are red hot, and people get Their tihgers
burned, and it is impossible for people
to treat their enemies with the usual
cool indifference. Tho mercury is at
the extreme Fahrenheit of its career,
and nothing buthot words now pass cur
rent between ncighbors. Water, when it
gets to such consistency that you can
roll it up In your hands and make
base ball out Of it,,is Ger ainly a wori-
derfult thing. You, perspire until you
are dry, and it looks as if they would
have to soak us a week to bring Us
back to life and soften us up,a little .un-
til we are more pliable. Even the
shades Of departed heroes are few and
far between. t3s as' fodAt taaai
The usually cool, calculating man is
not here now, nor tile neighbor who can
give the cold shoulder. "A cake Of
ice out in the sun soon. is done brown,
a we'll baked crust being formed on the
surface Of it. Boaraers are not COM
planning about the landlaly's cold
victuals at meals, for they arc. all hot
If you want to bake bread Just put it n
T to refrigerator and it will soon be,
done lce-cream signs are all taken in,
and the young men cease to be taken in,
as ice.cream can otendure this weather
|! and suryiye- III i,l.s ..i5s9iaissA 3stt 5,Il;s
If you put rods on your house to pre-
vent the Heat from striking it your la
( Dor will be in vain, for the sun-bolts will
|, strike down through the roof and catch
you, even if you are under a feather
beda 91iifa2 a't;n iAi@ i''Ss5sta g.
/ The man who ventures outiwith cool
/, soaked brick in his hat, thinking to
knock the heat off with it, win soon 20
to ground struck either. by the heat or
the brick. Lawyers to-day are actually
sweating in their, efforts to make other
people sweat Old fgrudgcs seem to be
softenmg and running away and, old
sailors say that there is certainly a clear
passage to the North Pole and It would
be good time to start ont for it now il
you were, well equipped !, with linen
busters and have goOt assortment.
of fans. Fans do no good here rs
they merely blow the heat against your,
face and s;nge your beard off. # one
were Shadrach, Mesacll or an Abed-.
negoi he might go through this fiery
ordeal without a s,nge,, but I do not;
think any Of us are eligible for the posi-
/; ton. Yet if you start outwitll a buggy
you will be. apt to think that you are
an Elijah making the trip in "a fiery
chariot though without clearance
papers. Money in you pockets gets
hotter than ever and burns holes in
them a great deal quicker. @
1t is such a fierce holiness that we are
grievously depressed because we can
not run around and pay other people
what I'VE owe them so are sad other
people. The umbrella handle. actually
blsters your hand when you start out
with it. while you feel that you are a
sort Of a walking conhagrat;on, and
yearn for some one to put you out.
The fiery effnsions Of the poet can not be
quenched even by the cold water which
the humane editor throws on them.
Figures of speech are. inadequate to
express the figures of heat The earth
is heated SO far down that we will have
hot winters for some time. But we can
safely state that. book agents, Insurance
men, fleas, flies and other insects are
standing this hot spell wonderfully
well.-A. w Be2aw, IL Detroit FREQ
Press. ,a.tz. saffs 4gf .;.sl isl, .li
I'D PAIN AND; PLEASURE. AZ
The Wide Distinction Existing Between
SafiSfact;nns and (yOnvo ., In n onu7 AS 8