Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-17
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS MONDAY. MAY II, 1885,
Marrying and Giving in Marriage.
BY CHRISTINE TERHUNE HERRICK.

lCNO4ftEfteWs AooVsJ
4 recent issue OF daily journal con-
tanned letter from young man asking
the advice of the editor on the question of
marriage. The inquirer stated that he
was the pOssessor of yearly income OF
$1,000, and desired to know II man were
justified in beginning housekeeping on
this sum. Would a woman be able TO
manage such an amount so that they
might live comfortably without stinting
or running into debt?
The editor took three-quarters Of col
umn Tor his reply. Leading of with
Punch's hackneyed counsel on the same
subject, Don't" he informed the seeker
after knowledge that it would do him no
harm to remain single. while he might
tall into much worse condition by en-
tering the state of matrimony. Finally,
with the originality that distinguishes
most writer's on this topic, he wound up
by dissertation on the reckless and
spendthrift hauits of the young women o T
the present day, and the trite observation
that no man could afford to marry until
he had anassed fortune.
Articles of this sort might cause only
slight passing amusement and be suffered
to relapse into tOrgettulness without COM
ment were 1t not for significant facts in
connection with them. Statistics go to
show that the number of marriages is
steadily decreasing, aud that men wait
until much later IN life before marrying
than was once customary. The American
practice of fast living has a notable eX-
cepti0n in this regard, but in the matter
OF desire for n more ambitious style of
housekeeping IL has undoubtedly lett its
mark. 1t is frequently said that young
people are not willing To begin in the man
ner in winch their parents started life. 1t
is taken for grant. d that a girl must start
her new home with as ricn carpets and
furniture, as elaborate silver and glass,
and mansion in as fashionable a quarter
OF the town as are enjoyed by her mother
after her long years OF married life. For
the care of all this large staff OF ser
wants is necessary, and a moderate income
disappears rapidly when subjected to such
drains.
Ali this sort OF talk is we'll calculated to
brighten the timid young man from the
paths of matrlmony. Large Inherited for
tunes are rare in this country, and it is
an exceptional case when young man
does not have to work his own way to
wealth. 1t is not strange that be shrlnks
from saddling himself with an incum-
brance that may doom him to lifelong
drudgerY. While marriage should always
have it's rightful share OF romance, there
should also be a broad basis of common
sense. While 1t may not Invariably be true
that
Love In a hut, with water and a crust,
Is-lOve, forgive us, cInders, ashes. DUST"
Nor that when poverty comes in by the
door love flies out at the window, it Is not
to be denied that no young man has a
right to ask girl to share with him what
is Tor himself alone an insignificant sup
port. Not that the girl is always the pru-
dent one. Many young men look out for
wealthy marriage because they dread pri-
walton quite as much as do the SO
called mercenary young women upon
whom most OF the blame for the diminish
ing number of marriages is LAID.
There are still, thank Heaven! pure love
matches, but these are often looked upon
with grave dIsapprOval by wise matrons.
One gets a painful idea of the small
amount Of real matrimonial felicity there
is in the world from the warnings uttered
by those who ought from experience to be
able to speak intelligently.
Il was engaged tor a year before my
marriage" said one woman, land in all
that time there we're but three women
who, in wishing me JOY, coupled their
kindly expressions with sincere cOngratu-
lations upon the fact that [ was to be
married. Most of them shook their heads
and sighed significantly as they hoped |
might be happy. snail never forget the
gratitude which filed my heart towards
one little lady who assured me that l
could not do better thing than marry,
provided l had chosen the right man"
"YOu have twice as many joys" she said
brightly, sand you gain some one who
will help make your troubles and sorrows
half what they would otherwise be-"
Many mothers train up their daughters
with keen eye to the main chance. At
lection is all very we'll, but a good bank
account is better. 81 always tell young
girls" said matrOn, THAT it is easier
to begin married life with respect and
kindly feeling than with this tremendous
devotion there is so much talk about.
Hot love soon coOls.' and a calu, friendly
sort of affection makes a firmer founda-
ton tor marriage than anything else."
This theory may be excellent for people
who are run into one mold, but for those
who have strong Municipalities, Quick
tempers and sensitive dispositions, some
thing more than mere friendly feeling is
required to assist them in bearing the
countless rubs and annOyances that arise
even in the best regulated household
Money cannot do everything, and one
may venCure to say that there are few, If
any, women who make 6oveless marriages
without afterwards suffering seasons of
bitter regret. When a girl deliberately
turns her back upon wealth and chooses
the man she loves in spite of his limited
income she may be selecting a life that
will have it's trials and privatlOHs, but, at
all events, she is not stultifying her
higher nature.
There is no intention OF undertaking
the comfort that lies in possessing an easy
competence. But wealth, like most
thin 70 IN the world, is only comparative,
after all. What is luxury to one man
would be poverty TO another. And il
would really appear more equitable diVi-
sion OF the favOrs OF fortune IL the girl
who has been reared in affluence should
have 10 practice economy when she is
married, rather than this course should
devolVe upon the one who has had to
pinch and save all her life.
In this day, too. there is small reason
for grumblng over the Limitations OF a
moderate salary. Two people can live
well and pretiily in most places upon
81 800 or So 900 year, provided the wife
is a good manager and the husband not
given to extravaganza. Elaborate toll
cts, fine cigars, and unlimited theatre
tickets eat up money with astonishing
rapidity, but the couple who love one
another We'll enough to live without these
and similar qualifications can find plenty
Of inexpensive pleasures that prove fully
as satisfactory.
The cant talk to the contrary notwith-
standing, there is a goodly number OF
girls who are willing 90 choose such lot
10 life. IL is not TO be expected, however.