Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-25
ARTEMUS ARD,
Some Anecdotes o f the HumOrist.
Harper's Magazine

Harper's Magazine.
Calling upon Mr.. Lincoln on one
of the darkest days in the late war,
was surprised to see upon his man
tel-piece a couple of volumes-one a
small bible, tbs other "A,temus
Ward, His Book" l don't read any
body else" he answered, with smile
on his care worn face; che is mimi
table" In the plain building before
which we are standing the inimita Die
Snowman first set up his ''wax fig
GERS" and if we enter here we may
encounter the assistant editor of the
Plain Dealer, who was the associate
and intimate friend of ga. Ward
when the latter was the city editor of
this Journal. He has many anec-
dotes to tell of the genial Snowman.
He describes his appearance when he
first came to the Office, as decidedly
rustic. He was. he says long and
lank, with flowing hair, and loosely
fitting coat, and trousers too short in
the legs and bagging at the knees.
His humor was irrepressible, and al
ways bubbling over, and ne kept all
about him in constant state of mer-
riment. He was a wag-nothing but
a wag- but in that line a genius. He
could see only the ludlcrous side of a
subject. Going away once on short
vacation, he engaged this gentleman
to perform his work duflng his alb
sence. He carefully Instructed him
as to his duties, and in doing so drew
from his pocket tow string about a
foot and half long, and told him he
must furnish that amount of copy
per day, leaving on his desk the meas
ure as a reminder of the quantity.
About this time he was called upon to
respond to a toast to the press at a
Ben Franklin festival held in Cleve-
land He rose to his feet, hung his
head for few minutes in silence, and
then sat down. In his account of the
festival in the next days Plain Deal
er his speech was reported by blank
space of eloquent silence.
That gentleman remembers that
soon after ga. Ward" entered the
lecture field ne was invited by a
theatrical manager in San Francisco
to deliver course in California. The
season being close at hand, the man
ayers asked him by telegraph !:
"What will you take for forty nights
in California; Answer immediately"
Ward answered Immediately by tel
egraph, Brandy and water" The
joke was noised throughout the state,
and the result was, when Artemus
went there to lecture on his own &C
count he was met everywhere with
OVERLOOKING houses. While engaged
in lecturing in the west, he wrote this
gentlememan the following epistle:
My Dear George: [ want you to do
me favor. I relied on one OF my
men to save me the press notices. He
didn't. Will you collect them at once,
and send them to me at the Bates
house, this is taxing your good nature,
but you'll do it for me-wont you,
George? Do you know that you re-
mind me more and more of the noble
Romans? don't know who they were,
but you remind me of them; you do,
indeed. and could I have applied to
one of those noble Romans to cut out
some press notices for me in vain?
guess not. Go on, young man, go
on. Deal kindly with the aged. Re
member that we are here for only a
little while, and that riches takes unto
themselves wings and fly away, In
toxieate the stunning blow. Support
your country paper. Love the Lord,
and send nae those notices. Write
likewise And now. kind sir, fare
well.
When other lips and other hearts
Your'n my pretty gazelle, A. WARD.