Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-13
BRIGHT BITS.

u HAVE just gone into rapid decline"
said the editor. as he swept three pounds four
teen ounces Of original manuscript into the
waste basket.-Iid Bits.
MR., WEsCOTT, OF Baltimore, was in Wash
lngtOn some time ago and called on Senator
vest. The servant took up his card, aud as
soon soc as me senator read It no remarked; "Ah,
ne must De a distant relative of mine, or at
least some connection of the family. Bring
mm up. - Washington Critic.
THE Judge considers it highly sinful in
Charles Spurge0n to have govt. It is q blue
Diooded aimction and as an humble minister
OF The gospel ne has no business with 1t. A
little good, Old-fashioned rheumati, III would
answer the purpose just "a well. and produce
just as legitimate pain ana ejaculation.
IN lawyers Office: what are those marks
in red ink on our caiendar?''
"They distinguish my friends birthdavsD
"How thoughtful of yOu -
Eyes! want to remember not to call on
them on those days-presents are 50 deuced
expensive, you know" The Econ aedSt.
TUE PICTURES OF the Presidents mother-in-
aW, Mrs. Folsom, which are being circulated
In some OF the newspapers, represent q very
amldbe and handsome lady, whose kindly
face guarantees that Cleveland's luck has
carried MIN past not alone the Scylla, but the
CharyDdls OF matrlmony.-COUrieT JoUrRdL.
A SCIENTIST says that the rel-tail. a little
bird, will catch 900 flies in an nour. It is not
stated which base ball club the red tan has
signed with, but it should have no difficulty
IN securing a position on one OF the mines.
some OF the clubs need something that
catches about 800 flies in an hour.-Norrts-
t010n HerdId.
POINT OF LAVA few days ago a voung
lawyer entered the law library, and. after an
hour or two's Inspection Of sundry and divers
ioliOs, approached Law Librarian Dighy, and.
ia lng him aside, whispered IN dead earnest:
''Percy. want TO find little law. Iwant to
know what the law in this State is regarding
GOOD Friday when 1t comes on Sunday
Ptttoburf Trader.
AMATEUR ACTOR (who has taken the part of
"HamleJ"l-W Charlie. what was the
verdict in regard to our entertainment last
night?
Charlie-To be frank with you, OLD man. I
stupid.
Amateur Aceor-Stupid! That divine trag-
edy? Why. Charlie, Shakespeare never wrote
a stupid thing in his life.-HarDer's Bdsar.
WHO is that poor. d,ragged-looking man,
papa?"
THAT'S an inventor, child. He invents en-
tirely new ways of saving time. money and
abor in the production Of useful articles"
WHO are those gentlemen with big gold
chains and diamond studs? They aren't in
ventors, are they?'
mo. dear, they improve the machines the
other man invented. '-Scte'stiJfc 4 american
CAPITALIST to Knight of Labor-If you
could get all you wished for, and If you had
three wishes. what would you wish for!
KNIGHT of LabOr-Id wish first for all the
money wanted.
CapltalisJ-WeH?
h. of L.-Then I'd wish to have no work to
do.
Capitalist-And what would be your third ?
X. OF 1.-The third. Lemme see. I'd want
| an increase OF wages and shorter hours of la
| bor.-Ie.cas SiItings.
1890. ''Out of eleven candidates for the
| Board of Overseers OF Harvard University six
favor the admission of women to the medical
school. "-Ddily Paper
Charlie Sanleg-What villainous opera
ton that was this morning; it made mans
blood run cold
NJ s. Elyaway-Don't be chicken hearted
| old BOY. You must own thatit was y lovely
case of tumor eNigencies; and then, the pie
mated blood that was shown was Just sweet
--HarUtrd Ldmpo0n.
To THE HEIR OF SPAIN.-
Hail, royal BABY
Future King Of Spain,
Monarchic kid,
Goo, goo!
Thy back. maybe,
Is fun Of pain
From pin that's hid,
Go to!
Hail, royal chicken!
Born TO cares of state;
It's muZzer's pet,
Poor tot!
They showed the kicking
On a golden plate
Well mayst thou fret,
God wotl
-Ne1c Pork Journal