The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-08-16


He said he painted it from mem'ry- DAM
is represented as leanin' agin the rocks in
ueglieee posishun a smile Of victry on his
face, while three lions are tryin' to krawl
into worm hoes in the rocks. 1t amt my
fault if the situashun amt historically kor
ect, as l paid the old master 81 in cash and
gave him my note o. hand fur the other S4S
In the next view / sprung the surprise. 1t
was a landscape representa- an ArkansaW
Republican postmaster walkin' out doors
under a Demokratic administrator, while
an Arkansaw Demokrat walked in. Fur
about a mint the aujeence held her breth-
Then she whooped and bellerei and howled
till the roof riz eight inches. had to dis
solve that view seven different times BED
they'd let up on me. It's my kandld opinion,
iudgin' frum what I've seen and heard i'll
this state. that the spiles of Office are sadly
hungered after. When the show was over
the editor of a lokal noosepaper threatened
to have me arrested fur sedishun, but l
stood firm | don't believe he had no high
and lofty motives, but was acktuated by the
fackt that got my job printin' done at
rival concern.
am gittin' phrenOlogy down to an abrupt
science. and it really surprises me to find
how much I know about 1T The foilowin' is
the average male head
avery charitable"
"A deep thinker.
"Luvin' husband and kind father"
"Not hasty in your ventures"
"Nost too bashful for your own good.
every strong in your friendships"
"Can't understand why you are not in con-
gress"
"Great reverence for religun."
aVery pashient an long sufferin'."
In the case of the female head l haf to say
the monotony somewhat as follows:
Very affeck tionate and devoted"
al find traces of CRATE material talents.
You should hev bin edecated for artist,
singer or musishun."
materially designed to sore above the com
mon herd.
GYour children orter make a mark in this
vain world
"Grate viii power"
"Chuck full of ciarity and forgiveness"
Anatomy, L am grie 81 to remark, don't
seem TO interest The people of northern Ar
kansaw. l have sold but one chart in a
week, and the Old lady who purchased that
did so under the impression that it was a
cheap and artin cure for catarrh, If taken
accordin' to direckshuns. They don't seem
to bear a hopper whether the liy-i Is on the
right or lett 81 ie the spinal column plumb
or ang ed, the respiratory organs in the
chist or heeIs SO long as they respiratory
all right the owner don't bother hssef as to
how.
Is'poSe I'm a leetie too blame tur lack oI
zeal on the subjck Of physiognomy. At one
of my lait performances L pinted out the
leadin' traits i'll the karacter of a wilder. l
shovel by her retreatin chin, slantin' head,
stuck-up nose and the CRATE width between
the eyes that she'd pizen husband and lie
over his grave. She seemed to admire my
kandor, but The Teller she was goin' to take
for a I'd husband dldn I. 1t cost me six bits
to buy him IF, and up to the very last he
seemed determined to do me soma mortal in
joory.
If your paper has any inhooance in Mis-
souri, wish you'd kinder refer TO my Grand
Aggregashun now and then. Wen make
one hand wash the other. You refer to me
and I'll refer to you.
performances daily, the same as hereto4,
and III guarantee that my korn kure con-
tains nuthin' to offend the most fastidus.
PROF BRoM WHITE,
Professor and leckturer.