The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-11-15
Virgins Mistake.

Mr.. w gyms was hcald TO say thai
the failure of the earthquake would
annihiiate him as prognostcator."
1t is a pity that Virgins, as prognos
ticator to the Queen, will be obliged tc
throw up his job, but he ought to have
sense enough to know that during these
hard times the United States cannot
afford to have its whole surface torn up
into strips, just to please him.
If the truth was known, this same
man Virgins ought to be tarred and
feathercd, and pulled through barbed
wire fence. He doesn't know an earth.
quake from case of fever and chlls,
and yet he has it published broadcast
through the land that upon given
date certain portions of our continent
will be attacked with severe case of
bowel complaint, and snort, and cough,
and tumble about like II thing of life,
thereby causing great destruction OF
life and property among the people who
reside thereon. What could this Wig.
gins know about our Yankee earth.
quakes rs he sits way up there in
Canada chasing comets through the
heavens with cross-eyed telescope.
1t does not take great stretch Of
Imagination to close ones eyes, and see
him as he sits up on the roof of his
house. A cute little yellow English
galway on each cheek through which
the cool evening breeze is wont
to sft. long calico dress
ing gown hanging from his shoulders
like bed quilt on an old coal stove, ant
Il pair of slippers upon his wealth OF
feet, that were presented to him last
Christmas by an old maid sister. There
he sits with this telescope, and weather
machine, try ng to manufacture wealth.
er to The Queen s taste ever and anon
more ever than anon--he jots down
some odd looking marks in his book and
while the marks are yet warm, he jumps
to his telescope. draws bead on some
unlucky female star and tries to stare il
out of countenance. Finally, rs he pau.
scs for moment in doubt as to what he
Il do next, he gives start, as though
he had been struck in the face with II
stockcn full of mud, and placing his
hand to his cupola of meditation, is
soon lost in deep thought. Long he
ponders. and the bright Canadian frost
is beginning to form on the surface OF
h breech-loading telescope when he is
ut last seen to move. With his Olsen.
gagged fin, he reaches up and removes
the hand from his brow and lets il droI
Mt his side with dull thu ding, ding.
He reaches up and puts an empty tin
lard pail over the muzzle of his tcle.
scope, closes his book with bang, and
with a Geronimo-eXpression on his face
exclaims: "ill do it ye know, I'll dc
it ba jovc! I'll predict an earth
quake that will make those vul.
eah Yankees twemble rs they
nevah twembled beforah. / will ba
jovc," and so saying he disappears
through the scuttlc in the roof-and the
imaginat on ceases to longer mag
He didn't know any more about the
earthquake than hog does about Sun.
day school. but he knew that the South |
was being more or less twisted out OF
shape, and he thought it would be
pretty safe prediction, as there was
liable to be another shock at any |
moment. However; the fates were
against him; the earth failed to quake |
at the appointed time, and the result is
that Virgins is the most despised man
in this country to-day. If he
had let well enough alone. ant
gone on lying about the weather
all would have been well with him but
no; he must create sensation, and |
get his name in the papers, no matter
how much suffering is costs others. |
Hundreds of frightened people in and
about Charleston, foolishly believed in
the prediction of Mr.. Virgins and slept
out in the open air, not daring to venture
into their homes for fear of being crush.
ed to death. Can this man, Virgins.
think of this without blushing for shame.
Can he think of the delicate women
and tender children who were obliged
to risk their lives by sleeping In the
open air, all for fear that his infamous
prediction would come true, without,
at least, one pang of sorrowP But
what can we do when man will do his
talking from Canadap II he was only
located a few miles farther south. where
the people whom he has wronged could
get chance at him. it is safe to say
that there would be one less Wig-in
this world. The only thing left to do
Is TO hire some large, able-bodied man
with fist like bladder of dried put
~, to go there and pound the golblast-
I'd weather prophet all out of shape.
For some time past the few weather
prophets who have taken up their
abode in our fair land, have been in the
habit of predicting some great and hor-
rible disaster, from time to time, but il