The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1886-06-23
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.

.
''Time and tide wait for no man." Time
and tide are not like woman.
The servant-girl euestion.-"Kin yez be
afther lettin' me aft fur this avenin, at all,
at all?'-Texas Siftings.
"Yo' says dey pumps dat ar coal lie outen
de yarth? Den, Honey, you looks out fer
fun one o. desc days. Fer when de lie all
clean gone often de yarths axtle she boun'
to get s-fire, and den prophesy be Established
shush nuflw-Life.
Superintendent of Hospital: Business is
getting bad again. Doctor: Yes, we haven't
had broken bones in some days Superin-
tendent of Hospital: Guess you'd better
send out Bailey with bag of bresh banana
skins.-Texas Siftings.
Aunty (resding): "There was so little
reom in the street cars on Decoration Day
that the passengers had to sit on each others
knees" Nephew: "Oh, crickeyl Won't the
wenen be wishing for Decoration Day TO
ceme around again, so they can ride in the
street cars."-Texas Siftings.
Madame was recounting that her husband
was i'll the night before. and it was necessary
to send fer doctor ut O'Clock in the morn
ing But thought you had q doctor in
the house, your eldest son." said neighber.
''True. but we only let him doctor the SER
wants. "-HarPer's Bazar.
Southern Missionary: Why, Mr.. Clay,
you are surely not gein fishing this beauti-
Wha - what me 90 fshin'?
Me2 Oh no, boss Use gwine ober ter de
cotton gin ter rassel wiv de Satan, en- 1 tex
de pole long fer ter 'fend mahself wiz.
Western Cowboy: I'd like to see the COM
manaer of this fort, Mrs. Captain Blank:
Well, what is your business? Western Cow
boy: I'd like to see the captain. Mrs. Cap
tain Blank: I've let the captain off on
fsur days furlough. You will have to
transact your business with me. l am in
command here.-Texas Siftings.
Doctor Ito patiently: You are all right
physically, but you must take care of your
mental self. You must not read anything,
and must not allow anyone in talking to
yeu to engage your attention. Patient: But
how must l manage it, doctor? Doctor;
Are you acquainted with adeputy sheriff?
Patient; Yes, sir. Doctor: Then get aim
TO summon you as juryman.-Arkansaw
Traveller.
A Galveston man is in the habit of getting
up very early and going in bathing. Yester-
day morning at breakfast his wife said: II
am so anxious while you are away bathing
in the mornings that can't sleep until You
csme back" "OhI" he said, lightly, ''there
is NO danger; knew how to swim" 1T is
net that" she responded, "but | am afraid
some thief seeing you go off, will sneak in
and steal the spoons. You have no idea
how it worries me. Texas SIftings.
The following amusing incident was gath
cred by a !rian correspondent during a re-
cent trip down the Mediterranean, who
writes: 1T seems that the Sunday-school
hynn Il was a wandering sheep, l did not
leve the fold,' has been translated int Ar
menian, and the children of a school in
Csnstantinople are fond of singing it fer
travellers who look in upon them. The
teacher, an Armenian, who knew but very
little English, was not aware that it was
translation from that language, so, when an
American visitor asked him what the chill
dren were singing, he betook himself to the
dictionary, and emerged, after long search,
with the information that the first line of
the hymn meant, Il was misled mutton
Where Their Minds Are.
Texas Siftings
Mr.. De Garmo: / suppose about this time
of the year, you young ladies who are gsing
to graduate, are engaged all the time in pre-
pairing your essays. Um-by the way, Miss
Eugenis, what is yours going to be2
Miss Eugenia: Pale blue, trimmed with
real lace.
The Modern Blue Stocking.
There was young lady named Wise,
whose brain was gigantic in size,
She knew everything,
Could paint, dance and sing.
But couldn't make custsrd pies.
The London Period.
Equal to the Emergency.
puck
Bob Ingersoll recently was talking with an
old colored woman in Washington upon re-
lgious matters.
'Do you really believe, Aunty," said he,
chat people are made out of dust~
"Yes, sab; the Bible says dey is, an so l
b'lieves it,
"But what is done in wet weather, when
| there's nothing but mudr'
"Der spects dey make snfduls an SIGH
| truck
q Pastoral Call.
philadelphia Call
| Congratulatory friend.-I hear you have
received call to q prominent church.
The Rev. Mr.. Pemberton.-Ahl l didn't so
regard it:
| salary2"
THAT wasn't call. 1t was mere in
| timation,"
''Ohl And what would you consider to be
a calf"
! ttTreble the salary-the parsonage includ-