davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-14
ror nnd Anont the Tnlr sen.

-What a lovely womanw was the exclama-
tion of Chief Justice Waite, upon passing a
noted beauty, when walking down Pennsyl-
vania avenue with friend. "What an ex-
cellent judge" said the lady, when her sensi-
tive ear caught the fatterng decree Of the
chief Justice Exchange
MIR. sR. KR
Each evening good-looking MIR.
Comes around for to visit my Sr.
One night on the stairs
He, all unawares,
Put his arm round her figure and Kr.
THE SILVER LINING.
Lady caller-YeS the drains in this neigh
borhood are in shocking condition. Why
don't you complain to the health Department.
Doctors wife-Complain! My husband ex-
poets to furnish the new billiard room out of
them-Life.
A VIRTUE OF NECESSITY.
A big blot on n love letter looks bad, Of
course, but there are certain compensations
after all. You can dip your pen in it easier
than in the ink stand until it is all used up,
and then yaJ can persuade your best girl that
you put it there to indicate a kiss.-Somer-
vile Journal
Soul-Stirring Eloquence.
Old Col Zell. at the time When Grant was
up for the presidency and when the Demo
cratic watchword was "Anythng to beat
Grant, was addressing an enthusiastic meet
ing of Comstock Republicans, when a Demo
crat, who was hanging on to the verge OF
the crowd" sang ont Its easy talkin',
colonel, hut we'll show you something next
fall"
The colonel was a southern Union man Of
the ultra school ana great admircr Of Grant.
He at once wheeled about, aud with upliftcd
hands, hair brstling, and eyes flashing fire,
cried ont; Build a worm fence round II win
ter supply of summer weather; skim the
clouds from the sky with a teaspoon; catch a
thunderbolt with bladder; break hurri-
cnne TO harness; ground suice an earthquake:
bake he'll in an ice house; lusso un avalanche:
tiS a clout on the crater Of an active volcano:
hive all the stars in q nail A,g; hang out the
ocean on grapevine to dry; put the sky to
soak ina gourd unhuckle the belly band Of
eternity and paste To Let on the sun and
, moon, hut never, sirnevcr for moment
drude yourself with the idea that you can
beat Grantn-Salt Lake Tribune
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-14

act Of congress in
1870. Mr.. Bristow,
of Kentucky, held
the position from
1870 TO 1872, and
Mr.. Phillips, Of
N orth Carolina,
from 1872 to 1885.
A year ago the
president appoint
ed John Goode to
the position, but
the senate has lust
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-14
JOHN eoopE, oE VIRGINIA.

The Solicitor Generals Appointments
Uncomiirmed After a Years Service.
The office of solicitor general ranks next
to that held by cabinet minister 1t is of
recent CREATION havin.s been instituted by
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-14
The Absent-Minded Man.

E once knew an alb
sent-minded man,
who was very much
absent-minded. In
deed his mind was
as bad as an Irish
landlord, being con-
stantly engaged in
evieting its tenants,
for no sooner had
one idea fairly
taken possession Of
this mind of his,
than he set to work
to put another in
- -
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-14
Tho NnlInr Iden-

florence. aged a. demanded 90 l4er ,se,.
quliite the wishbone of every fowl brought
into the house. One day she was carefully
arranging her collection when her father
came into the room. "Fader," she said, look
ing up-"fader, is you doin to die.' "Why,
yes Florence we must all die some time,n he
said, touched by her earnest look "Fatler,
when you does die, may have your wish
boneN-Rome Sentinel
a CASE OF PRE- -EMPTIoN.
"Oh! amt You mean,n said one G-year-old
to the other. "You took the biggest cako. I
was just going to take it myself. Life
JUST SPANK HER
Mamma, didn't you say if this dolly got
broke, somehody'd have to be spanked !" YES,
did" "Well, dolly broke her head to-day
Just spank her. er."-Chicago News.
FULL EXPLANATION.
Tie polite child is the latest in the Juvenile
world. She was strolling around the neigh
horhlod ON tour of observation, when she
came across IA colored man sitting on a door
step. She stood with her finger in her mouth
looking at him. Finally she said You're a
colored man. amt you" "You are a very
polite little girl, he said "Yes, | am a col
ored man." "Oh, yes; I'm very polite call
every nigger l see a colored an."-San
Francisco Chronicle
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-14
A CASE or rRE-EMrrIoN.
JUST SPANK HER.

"Ohl amt You mean,n said one G-year-old
to the other. "You took the biggest cako |
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
THE LINGO CHIEFTAIN..

why He Called Attention to- the Misdi-
rected Energy" Of tho Department OF
State.
Brother Blaine is, experiencing the
difficulty of directing his boom from a
point outside of politics. He can not
always get his orders around in time.
If there is any one thing in which the
organs were justified in supposing that
Brother Blaine's position was fixed ID
was in the matter of hostility to all for
eign Powers whatsoever. He had him
self given the keynote in afierce speech
on the fishery dispute, which relates to-
very obscure points in international
law, and they supposed that they were
quite safe in abusing the Administra-
ton for its caution in getting up q
fight with Mexico.
But Brother Blaine, from his point
of observation at Bar Harbor; quickly
perceived the danger of this position.
If Cleveland and Bayard were enaour-
aged or allowed to 60 to war, what
would become of Blaines own lingo.
policy and the one only jingo party of
which he is the chief? This thing must
be stopped, and accordingly, there was
a sudden change of front. Mr.. HIT
Blaine man from Illinois, who, had
voted for. the resolutions of instruc-
ton in the Foreign COMMITTEES, OBJ
jected to their consideration in the
House, declaring that Mexico was being
unreasonably pushed, and the princi-
pal Blaine organ, the New York
Tribstne, opened an attack onthe ''mis-
directed energy" of the Department Of
State, whose position in the Cutting
case is said to be all wrong.
1t is true that small politicians and
party organs are accustomed to sudden
changes. When the State Department
appeared slow, it was the. organs duty
to abuse it; when it showed itself
active, it was equally to be- abused.
But in the suddenness of the change re-
garding the Mexican affair it is impos-
sible to doubt the guiding hand of the
celebrated lingo chieftain. Among all
his experimental issues he has always
chung to the American Eagle, and that
anybody else should assume the cham
pionship of that proud bird he regards
as an Infringement ON his copyright
The minor Blaine organs have been a
little slow In taking the cue, but we
may expect them to tumble into line
very soon. A disturbance with Mexico
in advance of 1888 wonld leave Brother
Blaine and his jingo party to hopeless
desuetude-P Philadelphia Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
HIS PRECIOUS TRUNK.
Experience of a Detroit Taxpayer Who
Prosecuted by IH-Luck.

Experience of a Detroit Taxpayer Who Is
Prosecuted by Ih-Luck.
There was one man who didn't take
kindly to the late accident on the West
Shore by which dozen or more trunks
were smashed and their contents
ruined. When the passengers were
notified to exhibit their checks and make
statement of damages this man ex-
hibited his piece of brass and declared
that nothing less than three hundred
dollars would make him whole.
''Pretty valuable trunk" remarked
the official.
Eyes, sir; was going to Europe for
a year"
The passengers gathered at the wreck
ed car to identify what had been saved,
and as the parcels were handed down
the number of the checks were called
off. Pretty soon out came thin, lean,
cadaverous old carpet-bag which did
not seem to contain more than shirt
and pair of socks, and as the number
of the check was called the official con-
suited his list and remarked to the
man:
This is your baggage, SIR
eyes, think so. -
That's the three-hundred- dollar
trunk going to Europe with you!''
"Y-e-s. that's the one"
There was a general laugh at his ex.
pense, during which he retreated to the
passenger-car. Some one presently
asked him how he came to make such
mistake" and he replied:
"Why, don't We know, l supposed the
car and every thing in it had been
smashed to bits. | never did have luck
nohow in these railroad smash-ups."
Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
NOT A SPOKESMAN.

rhe APPOINTMENT Of Daniel Magons -
Collector of Customs for tho Port ~
| New Yor1r
President Cleveland has appointed
Daniel Magone, of Ogdensburgh. n.
r.. to be Collector of Customs for the
port of New York, in place of Mr..
Hedden, whose resignation had been
received by the PRESIDENT The APP
pointment is one that in the highest
degree reflects credit upon the
Presidents motives and earnest
ness in carrying out the policy
which he so distinctly and UNI
equivocabfy announced as one of the
guiding principles of his Administra-
ton when be entered upon it. The
President has not been wholly satisfied
with the conduct Of the office under
Mr.. Hedden. The most successful Col
lectors have been lawyers of ability
and experience Many of the ques-
tons coming before the Collector for
decision are purely legal, and the
judicial experience, as che, Springfield
Repa6ltcdfs points out, is, especially
valuable because il accustoms . man
to sift evidence, discern truth and acs
with promptitude, well defined and in
telligent purpose, and! the courage of
his reasons. Such man is the new
appointee, Daniel Magone. He, Is
lawyer of marked and admirable legal
attainments, a scholar of deep research,
a man of great force OF character and
.resoluteness, and firm believer i'm the
reform policy of President Cleveland
He is known to be the personal choice
of the President and no one, who
knows the qualities of the man will
doubt for a moment that he will sue
cessfully conduct the great administers
tive Office, to take charge of which. he
gives up a large and lucrative practice.
in st. Lawrence County Mr.. Magone
was for many years the trusted friend
of and co-worker with Samuel j. Til
den. When Governor Tilden deter
mined to prosecute the canal ring, in
1875, he appointed Mr.. Magone one of
the commissioners, the other members
being John Bigelow, of Orange; Alex
ander E. Orr, of Brooklyn, anti
John. d. Van Buren,, Jr, of
New York. Mr.. Magone was, the only
lawyer on the commission, and
the successful termination of
its difficult work was largely due to the
legal acumen, tenacity of purpose and
keen instinct shown by him. Whites
always an earnest and consistent Demo-
crat, and for the past fifteen years
prominent in the councils of the party,
he has never held any other Office than
that mentioned. He was member of
the Democratic State Committee for a.
number of years, and was its chairman
during the memorable Tilden and
Hendricks campaign of 1876.
The appointment of Mr.. Magone lisa,
further proof of the Presidents sinceri-
ty of purpose in carrying out the re-
form policy to. which his Administra-
ton stands pledged. 1t is proof. also,
that the President is determined that
the great office of Collector of the Port
shall be administered on purely busi-
ness principles and in accordance with
the existing laws.-Albany 4Arqs4s.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
POLITICAL DRIFTS.

Congressman John d. Long
says either Blaine or Sherman can
sweep the country in 1883. The coun-
try doesn't need to be swept, now that.
the Democratic party is in power. Ii
is clean enough mass. }, Null.
Mr.. Edmunds thinks it is unjust
that Senators should not be permitted
TO- have a private calling, and so. it
would seem, bnt the trouble is that
with a good many of them their calling
is too private. III they would turn 4
little daylight ON it there might not be
so much objection. = Chicago Herald.
AN interview with Mr. Edmunds.
In which he declares that the Repub-
fcan party must 60 West for it's candli-
date in 1888 and select man above
reproach, is taken here among politi-
clans as sign of his intention to GO
into open revolt if Mr.. Blame is re-
nominated, as seems possible under the
present drift of things in tho Repub-
lican party.-SGranoga Cor. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
SENATOR Plat has been delving
in the archives and figures up that the
Presidential vetoes up to the accession
OF Cleveland have been 103 all told.
while the latter sees the combined rec
ord and goes it ten better. 1t may be
just as we'll to remember that no for
mer President had a Congressional
pension mill to deal with that turned
ont claims by the wholesale without
rhyme or reason.--M 7. World
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
just Like Mamma.

If mothers could always realize the
ideals they represent to their children
they would be greatly encouraged in
their arduous duties. A lady riding
upon a street car saw little boy whom
she knew.
$50 you have little sister, Willie, -
she remarked, pleasantly. lis she a
pretty baby?'
''She looks just like mamma was
the smiling answer.
What do you call her?" asked the
lady.
s'She's named after mamma" an
swered the little fellow promptly.
Everybody was smiling, and, to re-
heve the lady's embarrassment, his
friend inquired the color of the baby's
hair.
'It's the same color as mamma s, "
he responded, timidly.
A gentleman who had been amused
by the dialogue. asked the wee man if
the new little sister was a good baby.
Eyes, SIR was the prompt reply.
'.She is just like mamma"f-Detroit
Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
WOMEN ON WHEELS.

The Attractions of Bicycling and Tri-
cycling for the Center Sex.
At the recent meeting of the League
IF American Wheelmen'' in Boston sew
eral excursions were made in the SUBJ
urbs by parties of twenty or thirty la
dies, enjoying the fine roads that lead
out of that city through Brookline and
the Newtons. Happening to fall into
conversation with one of these ladies,
whom took at first for a young girl
riding tandem tricycle. with her BROTH
er, discovered the pair to be mother
and son, the latter twenty-five years OF
age. The mother told me that she had
learned to ride the machine in Liver
pool, Eng. where she belonged to a
club of one hundred and sixty ladies,
but she was now the only representa-
tive of her sex in a local club on Long
Island. This gives pretty nearly the
proportion, l suppose, of ladies riding
tricycles in England and in America,
the difference being due to the fact
that we had the bicycle first
from the mother country, and
moreover to the great superiority of the
English roads. But our native enter
prise and invention have now taken
such hold upon these little vehicles that
it is probable there will be soon more
among them of American than of Eng
lish make, and the rapid substitution Of
two-track for three-track tricycles
makes the difference in roads less mo-
mentous. The meaning of this is that
the little steering wheel, which in the
early tricycles was set in the middle.
making a track distinct from that of
the two large wheels, is now placed on
one side, so that in a rough road it is
only needed to look out for two smooth
tracks instead of three. The rider of
bicycle, being obliged to have only one
smooth track, can generally find it in
still rougher roads, and will have this
permanent advantage, as well as in
speed; but for women, as well as for
men past youth, the tricycle. offers a
great discovery. 1t is, however, a more
expensive amuement than tennis or
croauet, q good outfit hardly costing
less than from S12O to S150.-Boston
Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
Why the Old Man Was Slow.

''Helloa. Uncle Boggy," said young
negro, speaking to an old negro whom
he overlook in the street. ''W'yn't yer
walk faster an not let me pass yer dis
way?"
Hole ON er mint" the old man re.
quested. "Yer've seed er man totin' er
sack O. con, hain't yer?''
'Oh, vas. sab"
'.An' yer's seed er man totin' er
empty sack, spoze?''
81 sho has,"
..Ah, hah, an didn't yer allus notice
dat de man whit amt got nothin' in his
sack walks faster den de one dat's got a
full sackpn
''Yas, sah?"
..Wall, yerse'fs one O. dem men wild
er empty sack Run er long, son. fur
yer amt got weight enuff on. yer
shoulders to hol yer on de groun'. -
ArhansaU Traveller.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
PlTH AND POINT.

Lady Ito servant whom she is abou,
to engage)-These are my conditions
do they suit you? Servant-H'm m, I'll
see. always take ladies ON triaL-M
Y. Herald.
Now that creased pants and rough.
edged paper are fashionable, the only
thing needful to complete the editor s
happiness is a craze for frayed cuffs
Burlington Free Press.
-Sunday-school Teacher-Johnny,
do you understand the parable of the
shepherd and his sheep? Johnny-Yes,
sir. Teacher-H you little children are
the sheep, what am l. Johnny-A big
sheep, sir.-CAicago Mail.
"A modern writer says .:man is
romantic to n woman" In great
many cases, Judging from the number
of hard-worked and worn-out wives.
man is more of a tragedy to woman.
The romance is all before marriage.
Pat ent-So glad you nave come,
doctor, [ am in such pain! Doctor
Well, where's the trouble? PATIENT
suffer so dreadfully from my corns.
1y) just show me your tongue.-N. T
Telegram.
At the Dudery: ''Is it true Smith
is going to call Brown out2" Il be-
Geve it is. y ''Why, what is the trouble?''
''He insulted him in the deadliest way
invited him to dinner and offered him
calf's brains a la Knickerbocker for the
entree. "-Ioacn Topics.
Il see, Lucinda, they are going te
have a new music pagoda at Manhattan
Beach. We must go down next week. -
81 don't think l care to, Henry; I can I
bear pagodas. If they were going to
play waltzes, why. [ wouldn't mind.
Pagodas are too classical. - id-Bits.
Country editor Ito assistant)-Ir
your editorial on the murder case, Mr..
Smith. you do not make use of the ex.
preston, ''forging the links in the cham
of evidence. y Assistant-"No, sir;
forgot it. Shall l stop the press and
work it in?'' Country editor Ger
tainly. ~ Y San.
She CATER private theatrical en-.
tertainment) allow cleverly the parts
of Rome and Juliet were played, Mr..
Smith. He-''Very; almost equal to
professional work She-'.Did you
know that the gentleman and lady who
played the parts are husband and wife,"
He-'You astonish me! Husband and
wife? Why, it was wonderful acting"
Life.
"A young lady reading in a newspa.
per the other day of girl having been
made crazy by a sudden kiss, called the
attention of her uncle, who was in the
room, to that singular occurrence.
whereupon the old gentleman gruff1y
demanded what the fool had gone crazy
for. "What did she go crazy for?n
archly returned the ingenious maiden.
''Why, for more, l suppose. IN Y.
Ledger.
Mamma, what are you looking
for?" asked Little Mamie Flapjack of
her mother, the widow Flapjack. Pm
looking for my wedding ring. I've
hunted for it high and low. wouldn't
lose it for anything" 'Iwouldn't both
er about it, mamma. If it comes to the
worst you can get married again. That's
what I'm going to do when I'm
widow. "-1sras Sittings.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
CHAPTER w.

To that fat country where the rivers
of Wisconsin. pouring southwark over
their beds of sand and stone, strike
their clear tides into the rich loan of
Illinois, the history takes its way. In
that green kingdom the story-teller
spent his boyhood, and ever it returns
again and yet again, wearing in his
memory the hues of Paradise. Hither
he begs the reader will accompany
him, and midway on that lavish arch,
which, springing from the forehead of
Lake Michigan, sweeps westward with
the Mississippi's crystal curls brushing
along its farther edge, we come upon
a village in the undulating green. The
time is June, following our little he
ro's parting from his friends, home.
parents and possessions in the mild old
valley of the Ohio. The country is
somewhat new, and rolls and dips
away toward the South in sweeps of
exquisite emerald. Here and there
are fields of oats like sheets of pale
green fur, then vivid reaches of SPRING
ing wheat, and corn fields plaid
ed with their even rows. Far, far
to the south it swells and falls and
bends away, bearing on its bosom
many a grove and group of feeding
cattle, and field and stream-divided
meadow. Eastward the same bi1lowy
eXpanse sweeps off and breaks against
a billowy wood. and turning northward
pierces the forest like mighty wedge
On the west the wood. q flood of oak
and poplar, ash and elm, maple and
Eastwood, comes down, edged by lit
tie river in its plum and thorn and
willow fringe, and turns away to the
broad southwest. At the foot of this
green prairie-wedge, and dipping to-
ward the river. lay the village. and
back on soft activity stood the low.
long residence of Joel Whitney. Here
on the fair June day we choose to enter
it, we come upon John Earling play
ing Justify. Another child is fellow to
his sports-a boy of softer outlines but
of even summers with the first. The
room seems slightly over-furnished, at
least. not quite in keeping with
wholly temperate taste. However, it
was not an unattrastive place, though
the two children rolling about the
cheap bright carpet gave small heed to
this. as witness the dust they made and
sundry unconscious dents and scratches
left upon the furniture by their fleet,
unfeeling heels. Presently the door
was opened, and Mrs. Whitney, a
little untidy of dress and sallow
of complexion, entered, and seeing
these rosy vandals on the carpet
said, rather brakishly: Here! you
come out of here. Don't you remember
that you are not to play in the front
room?" and she gave the toddling
John little flick upon his ear. Harry
she added, more softly, to her own
pretty offspring. INA don't want you
to play in here. Go out with JOHNNY
into the yard" Then the two toddled
off, one with smiling face and the
other with tear-wet eyes, but both were
presently happy in the grass. After
from the store entered the gate, and
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-09-02
On the ground between the railroad

On the ground between the railroad
tracks near the Pennsylvania coal shed
below the station at Harrisburg, whip
poorwill has built nest and reared her
brood. Cars and engines pass within .
foot of the nest almost every minute of
the day, vet she was not the least fright
ened. The other day well-known en-
gineer, whose engine was taking coal,
saw the mother bird and the nest, in the
latter an egg. When he returned in
the evening the egg was gone and in its
place little bird, the mother of which
fed it, while numter of people watched
the process. The kind-hearted rail-
readers watch the nest, and when the
Young birds fly on the track they put
them back again. Pittsburgh Post