Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1886-06-19
UNCLE JABE ON MARRIAGE.

Uncle Jabe was tho mau-of.all-work n
Gooher Ridge railway station, and was en-
gagged cutting wood. As was tired waiting
tor the train, and knowing no one else to tai X
with, | went over to the place whore he was
working, and, sitting down on an empty box
near him, began
"Say, uncle, what's your name >"
"Jabez Guoai Tillinghast Jabc, fo'
short"
"Are you married, Uncle Jahe - next
| inquired,
"Oh, lor' a-mtssey now yo foolin' dis
| chile, shoSh Why, sartin | IL. Did yo'
| tink | ben Nhn single alone all my life :
| Ho ho OATS radder hard Election on yo'
| ole Jabe."
lie chucklod to hirasolf "a he laid aside
his chopping Ak and took up the ono to
| split with. Ater splitting for u little he
| paused.
Say" continued Uncle Jaho "a he stood
| with his right foot ou the block OF wood aud
his hands leaning ON the top of the AK han
die, might AK yo' queshun ~
Certainly, Uncle Jabe."
| Wei, den II am dis" He scratched til q
top of his woolly head with his right hand
aud added Why don't ebery one get mar.
ried, when dats de Lords overwhelming
| command, shoah -
Really, l don't know, Jsbe. There are
| some people who, 1t seems, are unable to get
| married when they want to-"
| Dats so, and Is seen 'om tryin' mighty
| hard, too"
"Well, can you tell the reason ," | asked
| for was sure that he only wanted a chance
to air some of his peculiar ideas.
| Why, sartiu, l can. It's jes ksze dey
| hain't got 'quainted wild de one dsts 'pnted
| TO dem Is studied dis matter heaps ob
times, and my sentiments mighty plain,
seems to me-"
Where do the appointments take place ~
Why, in hesOen, Ob course"
| Yes, ! agree with you there"
" Does yO' make dat hor good wild white
folks ~ asked the negro with some sur
prise.
Certainly. Did you think that only col.
ored people were meant by 1t >"
as, maSsa it AN Colored matches dat
am made in heahen, sarlin, and dar's nuiliu
said in de Book bout de white folks at all, so
| ben tol."
DO they turn out ali right ,"
why, Dress yo', honey, no ! aud dar's
whar my theology don't get holt ob de bot
tom trutf, somehow. When de Lord done
spellln' 'em oil de big book, ii happen some
times dat de angels get so oherjoyed a carry
in de tidin's down to dc otis oO Massa Gu
pid Say, whar dat, anyhow ''
don't know" WAS my simple answer.
Well, it don't mattah Ony tot he must
be whar de head Culled tOlkses lib. As Is
s-sayin de angels so happy shoutin' an
bressin' de Lord TO- his infinite grace and
matchless-Dar, now, dats word dat
shouldn't be used by Culled peoples an Is
allus repeatin' It De good Lord amt match.
less when He's busy tousans and tousans oh
yeahs maxim culled matches down heah-
amt dat so ~
| suppose so, Uncle Jabe"
Tot so. Well, to get back TO de angels :
Dey keeps shoutin' and praisin' de Lord,
like do saints at 'vival meetin' times, dat dey
iogets de straight Oh it, and raxities de hull
ting"
81 don't exactly understand what you
mean, Uncle Jabe; could you explain 1t a
little more fully -
"Sartin. Is clear on dis pint Suppose,
yo' see, de good Lord am a sttIu' at de big
table whar de great book am, a-turniu' ober
de leabes BY aud by, he stops, reads bit,
puts his tingah on de place, and looks round
de room. Dar's lot Oh angels layin' on de
foah, or a-settln' up agin de walls, wild
muffin to do 'cept singin' hymns and shoutin'
GLORY halleluj sh' tween whiles lie sees
one dats troo moulin and good on de wing
SO he hollahs III! yO' good TO muffin
fellah, come heah.' So he comes up a.bowin'
and a-scrapn' wild his wings tucked up
behind him, and he says, 'Heah is, massa.'
Den de Lord says: 'See heah, | wants yo'
to hurry down to Cupid's offs and tell him
to go to Massa Greig's plantation, in Swa.
bush county. Tell him to jine de fections
ob Jabez Gilead Tillinghast, Esquire to Miss
Sukie Fedrea Elmirs Jones, wild de moral
certainty dat they'll soon jtne hands in mat
rimony. Now, If dat angel had got happy
shoah to to'get but he was steady goIn' and
good on de wing, and so, yo' see, we has
been jtned as man and wife dis right smart
while"
alt all depends on the angel, them" l
suggested.
"A mighty heap on it, and, more'n dat,
we must a-oen de ony couples read oil de big
book at dat sittin', TO un'stan' it's mighty
seldom de angels do dar work as de Lord
ranges it at iust "
"Now, say, Uncle Jabe, do you really
believe all that? ?" l asked, with an incredu-
lous smile.
"Beleabe it," lie stopped suddenly,
braced himself up, and stared in surprise at
me, as II were an arrant atheist, to doubt
these things for single moment.
""hy, dats de gospel, amt it? Least
wise, Elder Wallace 'clared it was, when he
preached from dat ar tex dat speaks bout
no splicin' IN hesben. 'clar', l can't glib de
words. Eber since | had de influmitary
rheumati2 in dis of leg, | can't tink WORT
shuck. Yo' collect dat vuss, don't yo'?"
In the resurrection, they neither marry,
nor are given in marriage; but are as the
angels Of God in heaven ] said.
"Dats de Identical words, To- shoah. He
had tree heads to his samon. De fust was
dat de Lord got no license Ony TO dis world,
and don't run any offs fo' de mex secon',
de saints hain't got no time tor sech foolish
ness dar; and, lastly, dat dey don't need to.
He got sort-a loose on dat thud head, /
reckon but i hab stood by de order two
right tToO."
"But don't see a word in all that pass
age that favors the idea of colored mate hes
being made in heaven"
"Don't care shuck TO dat Elder Wal
lace brought it out so correct undah de fust
head dat we couldn't help takin' right a-hoIt
Oh it"
"Yes, but fits not in the Bible, how can
you believe it2"
"Now, jes yo' get back little from dis
ole ak, TO Is got 10 split dis wood fore dat
train am due. 1t pears TO me dat you's
shorter sighted dan old Uncle Traverse who
can't tell a rooter-hog from nanny-goat ten
feet oil. See heah, yO' beleabes dat dis AK
bound To split dat lightwood knot mighty
soon, don't your"
eyes"
"Well dat amt In de Bible. Yo' beleabes
dat my ole woman ober yindah at dat table
undah do 'simmon trees got suilum good
to eat?"
"Yes"
"Dst amt in de Bible, nuddad. Oars a
| mighty heap OBJ tings we's bound to beleabe
| dat amt written dar, shoah's yo' bawn and
| so if de splicin' business amt in de Bible
| it's in de samom, and dat's nuf TO- me.'
The old man preserved dignified silence
| TILL the tram came.
A Bicycer In Japan.
| From Japan Letter.