davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1886-06-26
Just the Size of 1t.
The sigh of q seamtress-A-hem!
THE PETS OF CREATION.

| Women are ange1s.-Tennyson.
! Perfidious as wave.-Shakespeare.
| Women complain of being misunder-
| stood--Balzac.
Angels have wings, and always end up
in flying off;-Byron.
He who comprebends them is their i'm
! placable e1emy.-Diderot.
The most beautiful woman in the world
can only give that which she has
Chamfort.
We take women for what they are not:
we quit them for what they are.-Saint
Evremont.
When one speaks of women there is q
weapon more terrible than calumny-the
truth.-I4eopardf.
One leads horse by the bridle an eIe-
phant by rope, q woman by her heart
Oriental Proverb.
Love is more pleasing than marriage,
for reasons that novels are more amusing
than hisrory.-Chamfort.
It is necessary to have at least four
wives in order to find one in good health
and gentle humor.-The Koran.
/ have seen those (the tempests) or women,
and have seen those of the waves, and
pity more the lovers than the sailors
Byron.
In matters of love nothing is so common
to all women as the desire that another
shall not gain that which she herself re-
fuses-Hamilton.
1t ia inconvenient to be widow; it is
necessary to remove the modesty of a
young girl, without being able to feign her
W Weakness.--Mme. d'Houdetot.
The following is considered by an Eng
Buchanan's new poem:
soft as q leaf
The cleaning fell, and futtered like a veil
Over the half-closed eyelids of the world.
Stars glimmered family, opening one by one
And blossoming above me while stole.
Through warmly scented shadows till I
DARK fern-clad slopes that ran to hills of
heather.
There like naked maiden, stood the Moon,
Wading III saffron shadows of the west;
She reach'd afaltering foot to feel the way,
Then, brightly smiling, as the lucent waves
Washd. tipt with splendor, round her swan
Bent forward, 1s; rsi, cleft the dusk with ivory
And swan in splendor thro' the seas of
night"
an snad ad and and,i an NO, and u with an at
And an and a Y and an g spell ii, pray what
is a speller to dO2
Then if also an and an and a 8 and an he'd
spell ''cide,''
There's nothing much left for speller to do
but to 60 and commit Stouxeye
a lCHrcAao NEWS.
Subscribe for The Irish Standard.
The Irish standard., 1886-06-26
CHAPTER K

It IS now within short hour of mid
night and Weeks, drenched and weary
still plodded his lonely way over the
hills of Benraven. The night was very
stormy, and Mr.. Weeks very much out
of sorts. In truth, he was troubled ex-
ceedingly, both in mind and body
especially in the latter, for he had un-
fortunately lost his cap i'll the rencontre
with Mamie, and was obliged to use
his pocket handkerchief instead. It
was poor substitute, to be sure; but
what else could he dc? He had already
drawn his coat tails over his head, but
found it impossible to keep them down
on account of the violence Of the wind
Many lusty malediction did he vent,
that night, on ireland, and the unlucky
day he first took it into his head to spec
ulate in matrimony on her barbarous.
share. At last, he topped the summit
Of hill, which most surely, he thought,
be Benraven Scalp, and had begun to
descend the opposite side, when, much
to his relief, he heard avoice shouting
through the Storm
.Hoagh!'
.sHilloa! who's thaty' lie cried, turn
ing around; who goes there?"
,.'Hoagh!' was again repeated.
s.Come nearer, = bawled Weeks, 'come
nearer; can't hear yon with this internal in
The Irish standard., 1886-06-26

Thoughts that Breathe.
An intellectual ompanionship is the
only true conpanionship; all others ere
but an empty nonentity.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
THE SENSE OF PAIN.
How Sir Humphrey Davy Learned to Be-
lieve in the Injury of Pain.

How Sir Humphrey Davy Learned to Be-
lieve in the Injury of Pain.
Sir Humphry Davy, when boy, did
not believe in the injury of pain, but he
was not long in that belief, for one day
when he was in the water a crab saw
agely took hold of his big toe and so
earnestly bit it as to make MIN cry out
from pain. This proof of pain made
him guard against it from other causes,
for when he was experimenting with
carburetted hydrogen and other gases
injurious to life, on feeling oppression
on his chest and a sense of suffiocation
he was thereby warned to desist or risk
his life by going any further in the pro-
cess. Lord Kames advises parents to
slightly cut their children's fingers to
make them sensible to pain, and to
teach them to avoid whiting sticks, for
fear of pain, by cutting the finger. The
skin is advance guard and sentinel
against any injury and violence be-
meath it, and is the seat of sensibility
Sir. Charles Bell says that the surgeon
who makes use of the knife informs his
patient that the worst is over when the
skin is passed, and if in the
progress of an operation it is
found necessary to extend the outer
incision, the return to the skin proves
more trying than the original cut. The
tendons, muscles and Ggaments which
hold together the joints and the carti-
lagos feel neither cuts or bruises. Paley
describes the contrivances by which
everything we eat and drink glides over
the entrance to the windpipe on its road
to the gullet without falling into the
windpipe The slit at the top of the wind
pipe, which never closes while we
breathe, is endued with an acute sem
sibility to the slightest particle of mat
ter, so that the least thing which touches
the margin of the aperture causes its
sides to come firmly together, and the
intruding body is stopped, at the inlet.
The convulsive coughing we have when
choking is the energetic effort of nature
to drive off whatever has evaded the
epiglottis. Oculists have observed that
if the eye be touched even so lightly as
with feather the muscles are thrown
into uncomfortable spasms, but that il
can bear considerable pressure between
the eyelids upon the eye itself with but lit
tie sensation and without any suffering
If the eye had not been endowed witt
the properties which excite constant
winking we would be stone blind
| Christian Union.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
THE HAIRLESS AGE.

Scalp Locks Rapidly Disappearing from
Mems Heads-Dr. Hammond, the Fa-
nous Surgeon, Dlscourses upon the Prob
able Future of the Inhabitants Of Amer
lea.
The coming man will have no hair. No
bangs or curls will adOrn the club man who
takes trip up Fifth avenue few hum
dred years hence on the Jake Sharp bal
loon line.
The masculine child's nurse Of A. d. 2185
will be bald as skating rink. The
museum of the future will contain tuft Of
hair in glass case labeled "Scalp-lOck.
Presented by Three-of-a-Kind, Chief Of the
Cherokee Nation and ex-Emperor of the
Defunct United States, Heirloom in His
Family" BARRIERS signs then will read:
''Scalps Artistically Decorated, Electrical
Tattoong Done While You Wait" aud
bottles of japanese hair restorers will have
place among the rarest curositles.
DR.. William A. Hammond the dis
tlnguished specialist who can write a de-
lghtful novel as easily as he can diagnose
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

Minds of moderate calibre ordi-
narily condemn everything which is be-
You'd their range. Albany Journal.
To get along in life, my son, you
must have good deal of get in your
composition to begin with.-BOSton
Transcript.
Man, to be contented anywhere,
must carry with him the spirit of con-
tent If he desires to dwell in paradise,
he must make it.--Hoa,e and Farm.
When a dwarf is indisposed he can
not well be sick long, and even though
he should be ill, strange as it may APP
pear, he is never a tall sick.-TeraS SJt-
tngS.
Come here, Walter, and let me
shave you too" said Uncle Alfred, who
was tonsorially employed, to his five
year-old nephew. "No," was the
prompt response; ''my minister's amt
ripe yet. "-Harper'S Bazar.
Said a four-year-older, on being
told the story of Little Red Riding
Hood. "a don't see what the wolf want
ed to eat up the little girl for should
think the grandmother would have
been enough for it. She would if she
was as large as mine. IN Y. Ledger,
Gents" shouted small boy, as he
poked his head into Fourth ave, street
car, ''did you mail that letter your wife
gave you this morningp" And six men
simultaneously pulled the bell-rope and
hurriedly left the earn Y. San.
Have you ever had any experience,
sirP" asked the dramatic agent who was
about to book an applicant. Eyes, sir;
l used to play the leading part in Uncle
Toms Cabin" 1.-The leading part,
sir? What part do you mean by thatP'
"Why, sir, was the man who had tc
lead in the dogs" His name was moi
taken. Los0eU Citizen.
Agent calls on young doctor for hi'
rent-Good morning, Doctor. Doctor
Good morning, sir. You're looking
very i'll; put out your tongue. (Agen
puts out his tongue. Doctor sees thu
agents tongue, gives him prescription
and sends him home, not to leave thu
house for aweek. Agent departs peace
fully for bed. minus the rent.-N 7
Telegram.
-''What is the difference between thi
Coffee" asked Fogg at the breskfas
table the other morning, land tina
beautiful picture over the mantels" A
nobody ventured a solution, Fogg con
6nued: THAT picture is painted in oil
and this coffee is water, cOlored." On,
of those silences which can be felt fol
lowed neutrality-suspicious. 4fsaserlP!
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.


The rector of fashionable church
in Utah is spoken of as the opposite OF
the Genteels. p"
There are more churches and
chapeks in London than in the whole
of any European nation except France.
-"Bread services are being held at
some places in England, each person at
tending church bringing one or more
loaves to be distributed to the poor and
unemployed.
Miss Orme, in addressing the young
women students in the London School
of Medicine. especially urged them to
''interest themselves in the topics OF the
day."
james Russell Lowell has given
to Harvard Library about six hundred
volumes Of rare historical books and
works Of bellies lettres, chiefly Spanish,
which he picked up in England.
One of the largest single contribu-
tons made to the missionary work OF
the Church last year, if not the largest,
came from Christian Chinaman, who
gave $4,000 to st. Luke's Hospital in
Shanghai. = Christian Union.
1t is related of Texas university
that the faculty consists of father and
two sons. The sons conferred the title
of LII. ID. on the old gentleman, who re-
turned the compliment by making each
of the sons Phi. D. Chicago Times
The Jewish Association for the Diffu-
sion of knowledge has adopted the re-
vised version of the Old Testament as
the basis for new edition of the Scrip
lures which is about to be issued for the
use of Englsh-speaking Jews.-M Y.
Times.
"A school-house containing four hun
bred and eighty children was emptied
in a minute and half, without the
least disorder, in Springfield last week,
after an alarm of fire but the pupils had
often been drilled for it.-Springfeld
(MaSS } Republican,
Rev. DR.. Howard Crosby and the
elders of the Fourth Avenue Presbyterian
Church, New York, have issued a pas
toral letter to the members of that
church, taking strong grounds against
the Sunday newspaper, which they pro
nounce to be "a device of Satan."-
Chicago Journal.
There are about $4,000 Church Of
England clergymen. In the theory o
English law every Englishman is {
member Of the Church of England
But there are about II, 10000 dissenter'
in England and Wales, the members o
the Established Church numbering Is,
100000. The Queen is by law the su
preme head of the church.
Recently in Sunday-school not fa
from Springfield, Mass, the Snperin
tendent had given out to be sung hymn
No. 6 in the Gospel Hymns, when al
impulsive singer started off with soil
of No. in the Sunday School Quarter
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
A PROFESSOR OF THE HAIRLESS AGE.

A PROFESSOk OF TIE HAlltLEbS AYE.
When all meA are hairless the heads Of
the college professor and of the pugilist
will be identical, but one will bristle with
the bumps of his own knowledge and the
other with bumps of the other pugilists
superior knowledge. The slim Of that
period will have his scalp covered with
pictures by the best artist, MeissOnier be-
hind his ear, a Bougereau on his forehead
and Canabal on the back of his head.
When favOrite danseuse will trip out on
the tips of her little toes she will see her
portrait on all the heads in the first row be-
fore the footlights. Even the present cory
phees, who have already seen great changes,
will probably live to be so honored by some
very young men.
When man falls in love it will be deli.
cate compliment to paint or tattoo his in
amoratas name over the frontal suture of
his Uranium That will make an engage
ment more binding. Fashions will have
been evolved then, too. Black linen shirts
will be all the rage and scalloped sky scrap
ing collars will form pleasing frames to the
chef Peuvres on a swelrs head.-N. Y.
Morning Journal
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
THE ELECTRIC LIGHT.
Its Popularity in Germany and other Euro.
pean Countries.

pean Countries.
In reference to the introduction Of the
electric light in Germany, DR.. Schilling's
report to the convention of gas technics
contains the following data< In Berlin
there are seventy-one batteries in opera
ton, twenty-six driven by gas motors
and forty-six by steam. Although the
Edison central stations have not yet been
opened, which will furnish light to fif-
teen thousand lamps, there are already
five thousand lamps in operation. In
Munich there are thirty-four batteries,
furnishing four thousand one hundred
and eighty-five lamps with light, most
of which have thus far been placed in
the royal theatres. Hamburg has twen-
ty-tive batteries and one thousand nine
hundred and eighty lamps. In Hanover
the railroad depot, the Palm garden,
and two streets are illuminated by cleo
trio lights. A goodly number of electric
light batteries are in operation inBremen,
Cologne, Leipsic; Dresden, and in many
of the manufacturing centers of Europe
In Chemnitz there are seventeen, mostly
in the cloth and cotton factories. Gre
field boasts of 1908 electric lamps; FL
berfeld-Barmen of twenty-one batter
les. The total number of electric-light
batteries in Germany amounts to about
400, furnishing light to 21,50O lamps,
against which the number of gas-light
lamps is estimated at 100000. But it
must be considered that the introduc-
ton of the electric light is accompanied
with many difficulties, and must conse-
quently be of slow growth. Should it,
for instance, be decided to have Berlin
illuminated with electric light instead Of
gas, the proposition would at once
meet with the insurmountable obstacle
that in order to fill the orders the work.
men in the factories would have to work
steadily for twenty years. These figures
show that although the Americans are
far in advance of Germany in this mat
ter, the latter is up with England, and
France is left far behind, not one street
yet being illuminated with electric hght
in France. Chicago Times.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
WHISKY DID 1T.

The Rage of a Well lining Justice Whose
Temperance LIZ Ae Was Spoiled.
just as Justice oldbath gave the fat
man in short coattRirty days for keep
ing a calf, threQaigs and a swarm of
chickens in his nt yard, citizen in
good clothes cam ipto court That is,
his clothes were god, what was left of
them. They were torn in dozen va
rieties of rent ard dabbled with mud
and blood. His bkken head was band
aged, his hat was rushed, his face dis
figured. Oh, but gld Justice Coldbath
was mad.
"Well, sir" hel,snarled, before the
citizen could speak, tits easy enough
to see what's the matter with your
The citizen drew sigh that sounded
like a November breeze and shook his
head despondently.
"Same old storyg" said the Justice;
"same old thingP You look like re-
spectacle man now, don't youp You
are respectable wien you're fixed up, l
dare say. Merch BIT, aren't your Yes.
knew it. Church member, more'n
likelyP Yes, / thought so. Stand well
in society, and neter slipped up before?
Yes, sir, | know you. | can pick out
your case every fme it comes before
me. Whisky, ehNLiquor's the trouble.
That's what plays the mischief with your
respectable drinkef, sir Brings him to
the gutter just as sure as it does the
tramp. Now, sir, Tn going to reform
you. I'm going to deal justly and
harshly and mefcifully with you for
your own sake. I'll sock it to you so
that you'll never Come here again. It's
whisky, you sayp'
Eyes, sir" said the citizen feebly,
whisky is the trouble, sir. But for
whisky / wouldn't be here. But for
whisky wouldn't appear in this dis
graceful, forlorn, painful position. But
for whisky, would be sound, happy
man, in good clean clothes and no head
ache. But for WHISKY"
"That'll do" said the Justice, 81
know the whole story, and am glad you
realize your situation so heenly. Maybe
your contrition VIII take twenty days
anu plO Ou 1uuI SClllCIlCS dll't inlay DG III
won't. Now, then, how much whisky
did you drink and where did you get
it.
"Mep" the citizen sai1, in faint
tone of infinite surprise II never
touched drop Of Intoxicating liquor Of
any kind in all wy life. | am pastor
of Asbury M. E. Chuveh, and a drunken
policeman assaulte@'me on the street
half an hour ago and nearly dubbed
me to pieces. | have just come to file
information and geta warrant for his ar.
rest"
And old Just coldbath, who i,
never SO happy s when delivering 8
temperance lec from the bench to {
minister On 5Alyl yssr5ss & conspiracy
malicious mischief and contributor,
negligence, With intent to deceive AM
commit fraud, before he would let hin
go, and then he tried to saddle the cost
} upon him. --Burdette IN Brooklyn EGgte
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
REARCooIs.
A Noted Travellers Experience with the
Great Asiatio Eagles.

A Noted Travellers Experience with the
Great Asiatio Eagles.
"Bearcoot" is the name of very
large black eagle found in the rocky
defiles of the Amoor River. So bold and
powerful are these birds that they have
been known to attack and kill even
wolves. The following incident, re-
corded by Mr.. Thomas w. Atkinson in
his Travels and Adventures Among
the Mountain .Kirghis," will illustrate,
the power and courage of the bearcoot,
besides showing that he would prove a
formidable opponent to any unarmed
man, if hunger prompted him to dis
.pute possession of his game:
Three of these dark monarchs of the
sky were seen soaring high above the
crags toNthe south, which were too alb
rupt to ride over. We therefore pick
eted our horses to feed, and began to
ascend the mountain slope. In about an
hour ard half we reached the summit,
and descended into small wooded val
ley, when we observed the bearcoots
wheeling round the upper end in the
direction we fastened. Having gone a
quick pace for about three miles, we
reached rocky glen that led us into a
galley of the Bean, known as a favorite
resort of maral-a kind of deer.
We had scarcely entered this spot
when singular spectacle was presented
to our view A large maral had been
hunted down by three wolves, who had
just seized him, and the ravenous brutes
were tearing the animal to pieces while
yet breathing. We instantly prepared
to inhict punishment on two of the
beasts, and crept quietly along under
cover to get within range. We sue
ceeded, and were dwelling our rifles,
when Sergae called my attention to two
large bearcoots posing aloft, and pre-
pairing for swoop. He whispered:
Don't fire; we shall see some grand
sport. "
Presently one of the eagles shot down
like an arrow, and was almost instantly
followed by the other. When within
about forty yards of the group, the
wolves caught sight of them, and in.
stantly stood on the defensive, showing
their long yellow fangs and uttering a
savage howl. In few seconds the first
bearcoot struck his prey; one talon was
fixed on his back, the other on the up.
per part of the neck, completely secur.
ing the head, while he tore out the wolf
liver with his beak. The other bearcoot
had seized another wolf, and shortly
both were as lifeless as the animal they
had hunted.
The third brute snarled when his com.
rades set up their wailing howls, and
started for the cover; he was soon with.
in range, when puff of smoke rose
from Sergae's rifle, and the wolf rolled
over dead. The report startled the
bearcoots, but we'remained concealed
s s..s - is HiiEl l|been Made Nc Nj
y so much gallantry that neither the oil,
hunter nor myself could raise a riff
! against them, or disturb their banquet
When satisfied, they started up to som
lofty crags, and Sergae took off tn
skins of the poachers, which he intende'
keeping trophies bravely won by tn
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02

an obscure nervous affection, said yesterday
that the hair is being gradually evolved off
mems heads. Evolution, he said, is always
going on both in a mans body and in his
mind. The man of to-day is larger than the
knight who used to so around chivalrously
rescuing beautiful young women from
ogres and loOting captured castles DR..
Hammond is sure of that because he has
carefully examined ancient suits of armOr.
He finds that tie suits would scarcely go
sixtssfN-yNaC old boy @, Today, and that 9
suit unless at a Baxter Street shop or mis-
fit clothing store.
But if the man of to-day is larger than his
ancestors he hassnot nearly so much hair
on the place where the hair ought to grow
as they had. Dr. Hammond says that mems
boards are growing at the expense of the
hair ON their heads. They grow bald over
the cultivation of their mustaches. Fifty
or hundred years ago young mems heads
were covered with stock of hair, while
their boards were silky and immature. Now
they go around with nothing but ten dollar
beaver hats to cover the shining area over
their ears and their boards grow like weeds
in Harlem lot.
DR.. Hammond predicts that bald headed
young men will soon be in the vast MAORI
ty. Then as evolution gets in its work,
they will be the rule. The child of the
future with head like billiard ball will
stand before the picture of his ancestor and
wonder what kind of an animal he was.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
The NIarlet in TheIr FavOr.

First Tramp-I say, Bill, have yer seen
de paper dis mOrnin'P
Second Tramp-Yes.
First Tramp-How's siNCGTY
Second Tramp-Dey Was va IN yester.
day, wild prospects, of furder advances ter
day.
First Tramp-Its goin' our way, Bill
You take Broad street an I'll take WALL
N. L. Sun.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02

From the banks of the Rhine: "a
rich lady received from a relation with
expectations an affectionate letter,
stating how much she would like to visit
her dear aunt if she possessed the means
to undertake the journey All! if aunty
would only send her fifty marks! Aunty
simply wrote back: My dear N: /
herewith inclose twenty-five marks for
the return Journeys you can spare your
self the trouble of coming you know. '"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02
The Influence Of Time.

Brother Smith (who intends to give a
window to the church in memory Of his
wifel-I think, Mr.. Goodman, that If the
matter were suggested to Brother Brown,
he too might want to do something of the
kind.
Minister (dubiOusly)-Possibly, but you
see, my dear friend. that while your wife
is only recently dead. Brother Browns
wife died over year ago.-M. Y. Sum
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-01-02

"Ahl but wanted to ask about your
uncle" he said as they shook hands. ''He
went TO Saginaw, didn't hep"
Yes"
"Went into business up therei
eyes"
"And heard he was making heap of
money"
"WeIl he was, but"
"Glad to hear it very glad"
"Well dunno. They've got him down
here before the United States Commissioner
for itp
AhP
Ahr-Detroit Free Press.