Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1886-09-30
Mrs. Mya-yah.
THE SENATOR'S TRICK ON HIS WIFE.
ONE WAY TO GET A PRIME DINNER.
fArkansaw Trayeller1

"lts only about twice year." remarked
State Senator William +. Mason the other
day to an Arkdnsae 1racelier reporter,
"thst I'm smart enough to fool my wife.
Last Monday played trick that ought to
serve as capital suggestion for other hus-
bands TO conduct operations on. Along
about 8 o'clock in the afternoon began to
get faint and hungry; l had been working
hard all day and was as famished as a hunt
ed wolf. AS | sat in my office chair, won-
dering what was going to find for dinner
when got home, an entirely new and mar
velously brilliant idea flashed upon me. 1t
broke upon my intellect much as stray
plank dances before the vision of drown
ing man. 1t made my mouth fairly water as
1t developed its details in my greedy brain.
made a bee-line for the telephone and
called the central office.
Give me $685., said |, and then |
chuckled all over and my mouth kept on
watering.
"Bur-r-r, went the telephone. put my
mouth close to the funnel, and in shrill
falsetto voice, asked:
:" is that Senator Mason's house p
"'Yes,' came the answer and | recognized
is the Senator at home o. asked in the
same feminine voice.
"'No, was the reply.
"'Well. then, is Mrs. Mason there p in
CURED
"'Yes, am Mrs Mason, was the an
swer.
''Oh, is tina, you? | cried how do you
do?'
"'Why. how do you do p responded my
wife, but knew by her tones that she
hadn't the remoiest idea whom she was talk
ing to.
"'lIow are all the children p asked.
"'They are all very WELL said wife.
''Weil, said |. i happened to be in town
shopping to-day and thought I'd go over
10 your house to dinner
We'll. that sort OF staggered my wife
She mustered up voice enough to ask
Wv ho are you|
Then answered;
Why. don't you recognize the voice
I'm Mrs. Myayah .
g Il don't catch the name-speak louder I,
she pleaded.
Mrs. Mya-yah" repeated. and with
that in order 10 preclude all embarrassing
complications, shut off the telephone a.
tight as could. Then threw myself into
a CHAIR and laughed I'LL Ike to went into
apoplexy. Laugh Well you ought 10 have
seen the plastering fall around me But, tt
make long story short, | reached homt
about 4;ij and of all the dinners | evei
c!apped eyes on-gosh 1t was a banquet
Wife had a new black silk dress on, and 81,
had sIicked the children up so rha, coulc
hardly identify them.
II think we'd better wait dinner awhile
dear SAID wife.
why SOP asked Bless you, I'm a.
hungry as an alligator
Then wife told me She was expecting
lady gaes'. and she repeated the details o
the telephone in the afternoon. II was
fearful ordeal, but managed to look lnno
cent, and of course | wondered who the lad,
could be.
Indeed, | don't know SAID wife, but
her voice was strangely familiar. I've beer
pulling myself 70 death trying to guess who
il was
We'll We waited fifteen minutes and ther
sat down to the banquet and royal feas
It was. We had soup and fish and biz
roast. and dozen little side dishes, and ice
cream, and frosted cake tor a dessert.
stood II jus, as long as could. When i
came TO thick ice cream | couldn't stand i
any longer. As was slicing it off | lookeC
at wife kind of sideways and said in a fal-et
TO voice
MY dear, I'm sorry Mrs. Mya-yah didn'
come
Wife dropped her Dresden china cup a
il She been paralyzsd.
William +. Mason-you brute sh'
gasped.
"rh. children enjoyed the joke as mucE
as | did-yes, and wife. too, got to laughin.
about it after while. Our boy Louis said
DO It again, pa; it's mighty jolly to have
big dinner once IT, a while
But look here, you reporter,you aren'
taking notes on me. Come, come, now
that's not right you mustn't tell the story OF
me. Put it on somebody else put it OF
Bill Campbell"