The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-02
GERTRUDE GARRISON.
CONVERSATION AT THE SEASIDE.
Some of the Subjects Discussed on a
Hotel Veranda.
Especial Correspondence

Especial Correspondence
ASBURY PARK, Aug. 23.-Conversation at
a seaside hotel is never either stimulating or
beneficial. Early evening is the hour when
there is a freer commingling of the different
elements of society. The veranda is the
theatre of this form of sociability. Twilight
gives an excuse for informal exchange The
highly exclusive and densely stupid dowager
then permits herself to say Eyes" no." "in-
deed, Il am surprised" and other equally
brilliant remarks to the tedious old man who
talks about himself all the time. She has
had good deal of her own society through
the day, and is somewhat tired of it, to tell
the truth Anything is a relief-even such
nothings as the vacant-headed old man utters.
A woman with two pretty daughters talks
mostly about excepting the house lively" She
watches hungrily for new guests, and secretly
hopes that every fresh arrival will prove to
be somebody of consequence. She has an eye
to making acquaintance of distinction.
The bullet headed man treats us to long
and graphic yarns about fish He has fished
everywhere, if he is to be believed from
Behring's strait to the southern seas, and
always with the most astonishing success
The wrigglings of his victims are described
over and over again. evening after evening,
until we would all fain cry in our best stage
tones: mo more! no morel Spare me, good
sir this doleful iteration"
The bald headed man with speculative
instincts thinks speculation, but doesn't talk
it. No, he talks on conventional subjects
"Who is the greatest preacher in New York?r
and (which is the most popular churchf"
are his standard themes. He quotes bits of
the sermons of his favorite preachers, and
rather wants to have it understood that he
knows the correct thing in theology.
The woman from Boston talks mind cure,
which is all Sanscrit to most of her hearers
l heard her this morning try to put an ink
ling of her theories into mind that had
never heard of any of them, nor, indeed, Of
much else beyond beng quite prim, proper,
prunes and prisms-like. 1t was breaking
rough ground surely.
The missionary soon saw that it was
hopeless case, but she persevered. She gave
some good, wholesome rules for diet and then
touched a little on metaphysics. The other
woman looked at her with CLASSY eyes, as
ignorant of what she was talking about as
cricket. Then there occurred to me a puzzle
for the phrenopaths to solve. How can one
go to work to cure the ills of a person with
out mind!
The pretty little woman, who has two small
children, regales all who will listen to her
with stories of the brilliancy of these nurse
lings This brings out no end of newspaper
anecdotes about clever babies, their wise and
witty sayings, and their remarkable per-
formances.
The wife of the bagman always talks about
the stage She is looking forward to the
matinee performances of the coming winter
with great delight. She boards when in New
York, and is troubled about how to put in her
time till the theatrical season opens.
The very elderly lady in silks and laces,
uueerly enough, talks more gossip than any
BODY. She Doesn't limit herself to purely in
nocent gossip. either. And when it comes to
criticism she knows how to lay it on then
three-py and particularlyhighly polished See
ing and hearing her | am led to reflect that
carping, critical mind in body near the
grave is very disagreeable spectacle.
One very old man talks horse all the time,
which is great improvement on the I'M
flattering personalities INDUCED in by the
very old lady.
The stage struck girl talks always about
the heroes and heroines Of the stage.
The fair one, who paints plaques and other
horrors. talks about subjects" She spends
some time in hunting for subjects" on this
sparsely covered bit of earth. She takes to
flowers instead of mortals, as subjects, which
is doubtless well for the mortals.
The woman who talks about her relations
is here. of course. She never tells a story
without fastening it on an aunt or cousin, or
some of her kin dead or alive. She has never
been told that stories about relations are
great bores. Probably nobody will ever have
lhe courage tc tell her. MAX ELTON.