The Washington critic., 1886-09-21

three ycars at Paris She brings with her
the unly diploma OF professorship IA Il
truCh,r Of siuuiug ever granted TO au Amer
lean girl by Madame Narchesi
GENERAL AND CRiTICULAE.
For iirstclass chestnut, the Belfast
iots ring the bell.
The Philadelphia Press, referring to En-
voy Sedgwick, says there is no jockey club
in this city. The T. =. is slightly of. Let
IT come over here once us an envoy and see
for itsIlf
The Chicago Hrdiitditorallya announces
that silver Is looking up. In view of the
fact that it is short weight, and for so long
bore the motto: In Col wc trust" there
is every reason why It should look up.
Miss Cleveland, in an article on "Home,"
ssys "there is no measuring a woman's
lever" A woman up town says II her hus-
band is referred to In the matter Of staying
at home of nights, there's no measuring
mans leave her.
There are some official indications that
this Government Is about to become kin
folksocracy.
An old man Of much political influence
had been trying to get his nephew an ap-
pointment In the Postollice Department,
and up TO last Friday had only succeeded
in getting promises. That day he went in
again to see the gentleman he had been
talking to previously. and his nephew was
with him.
"Good morning." he said, curtly; "what
about that place'"
"You shall have 1t, SIR You shall have
1t. Come around tomorrow and we'll fix
the thing. I'm very busy to-day"
$50 you've been telling me every day for
week."
"But mean what say. Ipromise you,
row, 1t shall be done"
"John,' said the old man, turning to his
nephew, ''you hear what this man says ?"
John nodded.
GAN right, John" continued the uncle,
''you just take that promise Of bis and put
it on ice, SOS we can see IL it will keep till
tomorrow"
John went to work this morning.
With the Nealdowocrats in Maine and
the Antisaloonatics In the West, a large In
crease in the hetcrogeneity Of politics may
be expected. Corkscrews In the meantime
are as popular as ever.
Secretary Manning would like to know
what he has done to the newspapers that
they should be trying to Austriacize him.
John Slugger Sullivan, not being able to
knock living for himself out of less tai
ented men, will 90 upon the rostrum as an
elocutlonist, with the Boston trademark on
him, selecting such pieces as "TheGladiator,"
Mark Antony's Grafton, and others, In which
muscle is required as well as talents. We
present herewith his version of Mark An
tony:
Friends, sluggers, toughs, ct al, give me
your cash;
| come to bury Cesar, not to slug him,
Because slugged him yester eve,
And that is why he lies here now.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is often planted with their bones,
And Julius is n. 6. this aft. The press
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious
And the press is not much subsidized
Outside of such religious weeklles
| AS ye are not subscribing for at present
| And, fellow.citizens, think he was,
| Or he would never have stood up before
| A man Of my talents. You bet he wouldn't!
| Caesar didn't know what was good fer i'm,
It'll Boston's pride and JOY had knocked
| him out,
And then it was too late to utilize his
| knowledge.
But yesterday your julius Caesar might
Have stood against the world; now lies he
| here,
And none so poor to dohim reverence,
| While stand here, unscathed, unscratched,
And all my pockets filed with gate money,
II you have tears to shed prepare to shed
them now.
You all do know this mantle. remember
| The last time Caesar put 1t out to soak;
He got four dollars and quarter on 1t;
And with that sum we painted all Rome
red
But am OFF my base. That Caesar Il
knocked out
Is Ilpin, and quite as plain l knocked
| him out;
caught him on the chln-great Cesar
| fell,
And what fall was there, my countrymen
come not, friends, TO steal away YOU
| hearts.
] am no orator. ms some men are,
But as you know me all, plain, blunt man
That loves my friends and pi.s full ocea
sionally,
Therefore, thapkn' you for your attention
| And hopin' to see you all ugn',
am yours, truly, John l.. Sullivan.
That painfully honest clerk in the Treas
ury Department, who refused cigar be
cause lie thought II WAS roll OF bank bills
ought to be watched, lest in future h
might refuse a roll OF bills because b
thought II was cigar.
Suppose we send Geronimo TO Aleck Bat
| tpnbuIp for "A watch dog