Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-01-13
LEVI ISENSTElN.
A Sad Encounter, Showing That Even the
Wisest of Us May Get Left.

A Sad Encounter, Showing That Even the
Wisest of Us May Get Left.
Levi Isenstein is genial gentleman
who keeps a clothing store on South
Clark Street. He is man of diversi-
fed talents, and in addition to his ex-
tensive clothing trade he is always
pleased to see any needy persons who
have any jewelry they would like to
leave with him for safe keeping, in con-
sideration of small amount of cash.
Mr. Isenstein is also a wit and a
philosopher. The first record we have
of any of his sayings is the remark he
made after witnessing a performance of
"Richelieu. Being man of business
he is not in the habit of squandering
his money on theater tickets, but on
this occasion, he had been presented
with couple of complimentary tickets
by one of his customers, so he took his
son Jacob and went. On his way home
he thus delivered himself:
''Shaky, my poy, desc show-actors
don'd know noding Don'd you pellet
dem, Shaky. Ven der shentleman in
der play say der vas no such word as
fail, den he make himself foolish, und
don'd you forgot it. Shust hear your
fader spoke, Shaky. Der biggest word
in der language vas fail, und der smaller
der persistent to der creditors der pig
ger Gle word. Shust don'd forgot dot,
Shaky, und ven your old fader vas der
ground under, und you found you can
fail for ten cents on der tollar. don d Wait
till ter-morrer ter do it..
The next time Mr.. .Isenstein displayed
his wisdom he was riding on the cars,
with his two sons Jacob and Isaac. The
conductor attempted to collect full fare
for Jacob, and this brought out a re-
monstrance.
'Dose twins on der udder side pays
shust halef, amt it?"
Eyes" responded the conductor.
"Und dey vas den years old EACH Ish
dot SOP
81 guess So"
"Vell, den you took Won whole fare
fer twenty years. Isaac, he vas tree
und Shaky he vas sebenteen. Dots
twenty, amt itP Veil, den pays you
one whole fare Ply shiminy! you Teller
you don't sheat me-nod if don'd for
got myselluf.
1t was not very often that Mr.. Isen-
stein forgot himself, but once in awhile
he did. One morning he found a
counterfeit dollar in his pocket. He
was completely broken up--a dollar, a
counterfeit dollar. He could not under
stand it.
Spy shiminy," he muttered, tIvonder
if / amt got some sense at ALL" Then
to his son: "Shaky, run quick to Mr..
Mosenbaum's over, un puy twenty five
cent segars."
In five minutes Jacob returned with
the Ct airs, and Mr.. Isenstein went
gayly about his work. The dollar was
passed.
That afternoon Mr.. Isenstein was
rummaging in the cash drawer, and
he ran across the same dollar again.
:'Shaky, Shaky, come here quick"
he cried ''Don'd you got some sense!
Vere'd dot tollar come from?"
''Mr Mosenbaum come der street
ofer, und bought pair of suspender-
braces"
"Vel, took it back und puy me
twenty more segars. So hellup me
Moses, purity soon l got so many
segars, 1 hat to give Won away or /
make myselluf SICK
''Mr. Mosenbaum Won't took der
tollar."
Mr.. Isenstein grasped the money, and
rushed across the street.
Spy shiminy! Wy don'd you took dot
tollar?" he exclaimed.
''Do you think / make myselluf
foolish. Dot tollar vas counterfeit.
''Vell, you dot tollar back took.
My poy Shaky took dot tollar from
you"
"Ish dot SOP Do you tink I make
myselluf fool because Shaky do. Veil,
I don'd guess do dot"
"Py shiminy, so hellup Isaac, you
took dot tollar back, or / make it so
warm for you as never vas. You shust
hear me spoke
"Vell, Levi Isenstein, shust you let
me toot vile. You took dot tollar
und put it in you ear, und go NIT it to
de dooce, und if you don'd 60 purity
quick kick you owet of my shtore. "
Then for about five minutes the air
was filled with dust and bad English,
while Isenstein and Mosenbaum rolled
over on the floor and pulled each
others hair. Then Mrs. Mosenbaum
came down stairs and took a hand in,
and Jacob came across the street to
help his father. When the smoke of
battle cleared away Isenstein lay in
the gutter moaning the loss of his dol
lar, and Mosenbaum lay under his
counter bewailing the damage to his
store.
Isenstein has gone into decline,
brought about by his inability to get
rid of the dollar. It is thought he will
recover.-The Rambler.