The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-04-03
D1lalllim'S EGU York Lister
s.ccial to the CNan5y ADVOCATE.

a million is in jail, at last. The mills Of
the gods grind slowly, etc. But that,
these great criminals appear TO forget.
1t is a simple revival of the Old Tweed
ring, with compound interest. 70 the
honor of William Tweed and his associ-
atcs, be it recorded, thieves as they were.
they gave us something for our money.
Robbing right and left, the permanent
improvements in all parts Of the city
which they left behind them, are honor
able testimonials to their memory. They
did not steal everything, they left some
thing behind; but these latter day rob
bers have gObblcd everything, and we
have nothing permanent to show tor the
forty-three millions of dollars which il
took to govern this taX-cursed city for
the past year. The late sheriff is a fu9i-
tive and vagabond, disgraCed as a de-
fautel and little better than a common
thief, though his office yielded him in
two years 100000, During bis term a
levy was made on the effects OF lirh
diamond house in John Street. At the
time Of the levy the safe contained dia-
monds and icWclry worth Sl70.U0O: two
deputy sherihs were put in the store to
watch the safe, at $40 per day;--they
watched the safe like hawks, night and
day, for 2S6 days. and with little Incl
dental expenses their bill for watching
the safe was nearly three thousand dol
lais, and when tie safe was opened a
couple Of weeks ago there was not as
much as a brass hultCn left Of the S170,-
O00 Nice guardians these, to take care
of fellows money.
Here We have Il nice old gentleman,
/ I .1f Ton, h..
look upon his benevolent countenancc.
If there was orphans trust fund to be
looked after, Mr.. Jarvis was on hand
If a lone Widows property vas to be
taken care Of, he could not deny him
self the privilege Of serving her. lie
was good, you could tell ii block Off
by the sci OF his white cravat; then he
was powerful in eXhOrtation and prayer.
and many impartial friends thought he
had mistaken his vocation and that he
should have been minister, though it
was fortunate for New York politics
that we had SO good man to give the
thing sort Of pious flavor. Well, a
few years ago, a rich Pareee came from
India on spree, he had in hard cash
9iOO,O00; he painted the town a bright
vcrmilliOn for few weeks, and at the
end OF that time brought mp in lunalic
asylum. The Court appointed a guard.
ian to look after the lunatic's property
and to keep an eye on the crazy heathcn
and the good AIr. Jarvis was the man,
and everybody said. lucky heathen, 70
have so excellent man as the good
Mr.. Jarvis to take care of YOU an YOUR
cash. AT last, the lunatic's relations
got an order for his return to India.
TLey sent the body hut not the sWag:
the good Mr.. Jarvis held on to that for
he did not Ike TO trust so much money
10 the perils of the sea. Excellent man!
ana SO considerate of the welfare of a
miserable heather. Lei us hope that lie
remembered him in his prayers. The
cost of a passage to Calcutta. not in
Guiding wine, was SS75; it cost the I'M
fortunate heathen and his guardian
1.2,57o.
Appeal after appeal, year after year,
came from India, asking for the return
OF the rest OF his money, and after
twisting and turning in every way, the
good Mr.. Jarvis was brought to an ac-
counting. Mr.. Jarvis was then soft
hammered and pious as ever, but the
heathen's ducats had gone where the
wooGbine tWineth. This official faith
Iessness has honeycombed every Office
in the city, and that is the reason feel
like the man who went down to Jericho.
But We have ono of the aldermen in
prison, we haYe good hold on some Of
Warmers plumber which he got from
Ferd. Ward, now in Sing Sing. Oh! we
are getting On; we have made some
progress in the past few weeks The
rogues who have gone clad in purple and
fine linen are qUaking in their shoes
some have fed to Florida and some have
gone to Cauada in a little while we
may be able 10 see daylight.
The Spring is upon us, and, of course,
am expected TO say something about
the fashions, which is one Of the most
interesting items in this season OF young
grass. To my young lady friends who
wish to be swell, tip-top. | would say
that the latest racket is BULLDOGS
Poodies tan-terrier5 and Skye terriers
are no longer the 90; as / said, ii vou
want to be tiD-top, get a good sized bull
dog, the uglier the better, tic a pink
ribbon about his neck, having it long
enough TO lead him, and if you wish to
he very, very swell, tie a yellow bow on
the end of his tail. A young lady with
the canine accompaniment seen any
where along Broadway or Fifth Avenue
is known at once to belong to the first
families. Hats are of every conceivable
shape from Polish stOye-ppe to a
Dame QUigey steeple top. The best
dresses are of coarse grained seryiceable
material and the colors are generally
dark. The main point is the dog, if voiI
have him You can wear anything from a
Scotch glngham to a camcrS hair shawl
and pass muster, Young gentlemen
who wish to De top-sawyers must wear
OagGy pants triile short: the coat need
not be a particularly good lit, anlmighl
be made for a person TWO sizes larger
than the wCarer. He should carry a
cudgel that would weigh al least i've
pounds, and the stick should always be-
held by the middle, this is tip-t0n swell:
the collar is the straight dude, and The
hat should be worn q Uilc on one side:
now, open the mouth As if eadaavuriug
TO catch Vagraut fly, ami Won have as
much Of New York style as / can give
you.
BY the way, We have a flower show
here, by Klundcr, the like of which was
| never seen before in this land. Who is
/ klunder? Well, I'll tell Won. Kluuler
| IS the floral artist who has supplied
/ fashionable New York with It's flowers
| for more than a generation. Was there
a welding? everybody said 90 to Elau.
/ der, When Dives paid the debs wa aIl
must pay, klunier furnished the NOR
| tuary Offering. Gentlemen who deal. in
| fifty cent bouquets had no dealings with
! klunie", lie furnished no bill under
three O's, AMI his bills more grclurnlly