The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1886-06-03
Anderspar gntet1igeHesr,
"CALL A MAN."

CALL a MAN.
Any one who is disposed to try hear.
ty laugh must make the necessary prep
aration before reading the following
amusing sketch of bashful young man:
John Jackson was very industrious,
hard working young man: of twenty'three
years. Being the eldest child and the
only son, he had always remained at
home, assisting his father upon the farm.
John was much respected by every one
in the neighborhood in which he lived,
and many bright-eyed aud loving dam
sci had secretly thought that she would
like to change her name to Mrs John
jackson. But John could not be fooled
in this way, for he was no "ladies' man."
The fact was that Johu was q Sery bash
full young man. He would rather hoe
potatoes or NOW hay all day than under
go the ceremony of an introduction to a
young lady. Not that John disliked the
dear little and loving creatures-far from
it. We believe that he, in common with
all bashful, we'll meaning men, entertain
ed the very highest respect and admira-
ton for them. And this, no doubt, was
the principal cause of his bashfulness.
He felt that they were the weaker vessels
and superior beings, and that he was
unworthy to associate with them upon
terms of equality. But we cannot stop
to moralize.
Nancy Clark was gay and dashing
girl and was the daughter of respecta.
BILE farmer whose lands adjoined the
Jackson farm. Nancy was a pretty,
saucy little buzom lass, and she liked
John Jackson. When they we're children
they attended the same school, and as he
was few years her senior was usually
her champion in the childish disputes
that arose, and her companion in going
and returning. At last John became so
much of young man as to be kept at
home from school, as she had been in
past years. John in the meantime dis.
covered, too, that he had been growing
in stature, and it seemed as if he had
been growing out of shape. His feet aud
legs appeared very awkward ); his face
panied him, and taking all in all, he was
inclined to think he was not more than
half put together.
Now the truth was John Jackson was
really fine looking young man, and
nothing but his admiration Of Nancy
could have suggested any such foolish
thoughts about himself.
As the novelists say, it was on lovely
day in August. The heavens were clear,
serene and beautiful-the trees were
laden with golden and delicious fruit
and the beautiful birds twittered their
warbling songs Of love in the branches.
The earth-(there, we have slid down to
the earth once more; such lofty and
elevated heights, they make our head
dizzy We we're about to say that the
earth had yielded her bountiful harvest
of a years grass and Glove, and honey
suckles, which the noble yeomanry OF
Chesterville had garnered within their
store -houses-but upon second thought
concluded to word it thus: "The farm.
ers of Chesterville were done haying."
John Jackson's sister had quilting
that afternoon. His father had gone to
"Keith's Mills" To get wheat ground
for the occason, and John was left at
home to repair some tools to be ready on
the next day to commence moving the
meadow grass. Suddenly it occurred to
John that if he remained about the
house,in the afternoon, he would certainly
be called in at tea time and required to
do the honors of the table. This, John
could not be induced to accomplish under
the state of his bashful mind. To avoid
this, an idea flashed across his disturbed
mind to leave the place, so he quietly
shouldered his scythe and stole away to
the meadow, half mile distant, fully
resolved that he would not leave
there until it was so dark that he
could not see to NOW, and thus avoid
seeing any of the girls.
The meadow was surrounded on all
sides by thick forest, which ehectually
shut out what little air there might be
stirring. The sun poured out its rays as
though the little meadow was the focus
point where the heat was concentrated.
John would NOW and sweat-sweat and
moved until he was obliged to sit down
and cool off. Then it occurred to John
that if he took of his pants, having on
no drawers, it would be more pleasant
and much more comfortable to him.
He thought there could be no impropri-
ETY. in it, as he was entirely concealed
from observation, and there was not the
slightest reason to suppose that he could
be seen by any person.
So John found himself stripped with
no cover save his linen-commonly called
shirt-he resumed his moving. He
had not the slightest idea of him being
disturbed in his secluded position, and he
was just congratulating himself upon the
good time he had Eaying, and the lucky
escape he had made from meeting the
girls, when he chanced to disturb huge
black snake, genuine twister, with a
white ring around his neck, who thinking
that his rights and liberties were being
enroached upon, placed himself in a
defensive attitude.
John was no coward, but he was NOR.
tally afraid of snake. "Self-preserva-
tion" was the first passage" that flashed
upon Johns mind. and "legs take care Of
the bOdy" was the next. Droppinp his