Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-09-02
The Prince of Liars.

MOucEu IuliiCi. HI Vic LhSO, UuOuS-
ands of people plant and sow in the
moon to insure rapid growth, but in
Dakota it is dangerous to plant in the
prolific phase of the moon, so they are
careful to plant at such a time that
the moon will exert its influence in
holding the crop back. have known
several disasters to result from neglect
of this precaution. One day last JAN
uary I got lost out in the country, and
while 1 was toiling through the tall
new grass, saw a man with nothing
on but his suspenders, tearing along
like mad. He stopped just long
enough to tell me what was up and
off he went for the Iowa side of the
Sioux river, which he cleared at a
bound, and fell on all fours into snow
drift four feet deep. He said he and
his wife had looked up the moon busi-
ness and had planted their garden
the evening before, but happened to
get hold of last years almanac and
missed it about four days. The result
was that when he woke up that morn
ing the beets that he had planted
forty feet from the house had crushed
in his cellar walls. and s squash vine
had taken the door off its hinges and
was just hopping the floor with all
there was left of the hired man, whom
it had snatched out of the bed in the
attic. He didn't know where his wife
was, but he saw some shreds of
nightgown and several agate buttons
in the front yard as he fed. He said
there We're pea vines after him with
pods on 'em large enough for phantom
boats; and one could see by the way he
was dressed that if he was q liar at all
he was not thoroughbred Dakota
sample. If really thought l would
ever become an average Dakota liar l
would want to die. This territory
must be divided some time before the
day of judgement for how could the
Almighty ever audit its accents with
only one set of clerical angels at work
at time
About two weeks ago I saw a farm
er out behind straw stack gathering
into q heap lot of old bones and
pieces of hides and sprinkling salt on
them. Yesterday l saw the same
man selling fine pair of steers to
butcher up town. They were so fat
and had filed up so fast that he had
pieced out their hides with an old buff
talo robe. This granger was Sun
day School superintendent before he
came to Dakota, but he swore these
were the cattle L saw him kicking to-
gether behind the straw stack He
said all they had eaten was some wild
grass that had sprung up in his door
yard, where the women had thrown
a few tubs of warm soap suds on
wash days. He said that he had
learned that the best way to winter
stock in Dakota was to knock them to
pieces in the fall and set them up a
gain as wanted, otherwise, unless we
get blizzard every week, they were
liable to get too fat and round on the
native grass.
Last fall l stopped at house to
borrow q match to light my pipe with.
The man told me to go right cut in
the garden and pick all l wanted. !
did not know what it meant at first,
but he went out with me, and--I'm
almost afraid you'll think me liar for
telling it-there was about half an
acre growing, the finest parlor matches
lever saw. They were thick as hairs
on blind mole. He said he had a
poor crop the year before, because the
seed was too good for the soil. This
year he had mixed his seed matches
with about one third toothpicks, and
he got splendid yield.
/ went out after breakfast and saw
the man blowing up Hubbard squash
es with gun powder. They were too
large to be moved, and the farmer
wanted the ground.
| noticed that one of his wife's legs
was about eight inches longer than
the other, and the man explained it
thus: He said when they first came
to Dakota they lived in a 'dugout,
with nothing but the ground for a
floor, from which they had to NOW
the grass once day to find the baby.
He said his wife had habit of sitting
with one leg over the other knee. and