The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1886-03-10
CHEAP AND COSTLY.
The Comparative Value of the
Newspaper and the Book.

One would naturally think that knos-
Ing so much as he does the Newspaper
would be pulled up with pride to the
point of explosion-that is. one who is
not intimately acquainted with the
Newspaper, and foolishly judges him
by the people whom he does know,
might think so. But he would make a
serious mistake. besides doing worthy
object great injustice. Although he
is filed with information from his date
line 10 the blank space at the bottom of
DIS four pages, he is modest to a de-
gree. His editorial page bristles with
facts which require years of study TO
write. His news pages are filed with
information CLEANED from every part of
the world, and his selected miscellany
is culled from the most esteemed con-
temporaries printed in the language
Yet, in spite of so much learning. he is
undenonstrative, retiring and as un-
| pretending as the calf-bOund enclyco-
pedia under the deep layer of dust on
the bottom shelf of the bookcase.
Even the rattle he makes when he is
unfolded is deprecatory. and not ow-
| ing one-half so much to his self-asSer-
ton as to the brittle nature of his COM
position, which no fair-minded critic
win hold against him for an instant
| Beside the Newspaper, on the desk,
there lies Book of poems bound in
blue cloth and glittering with gilt.
This Book is the very opposite of the
Newspaper. Although he is not wise
nor filed with facts he is presumptive.
and makes up for his Shortcomings by
large supply of personal vanity. He
is pretty, and what Is worse, he knows
it and is proud of it. This, however,
is only TO be expected. He is a
presentation copy of an edition printed
at the expense of the author. He was
made TO give away, not to sell; to be
advertised, not TO be read, and it
would have been strange. indeed, un-
! der these circumstances, were he not
| rather inflated with the sense of his
own importance.
| 1t so happened one day that these
two publications found themselves side
by side and alone. The man who sub
scribed for the Newspaper had laid it
down after reading the morning news,
| and it fell beside the Book, who looked
mp 10 see what was the occasion of the
| disturbance.
Well" observed the Book, some
what testify. whats all this noise
about?"
II beg your pardon replied the
Newspaper, politely. trust have
nor disturbed YOU"
Not TO speak Of" responded the
Book, "only / think he ought TO be
careful where he throws his news.
papers"
:. He was probably in a hurry" ex,
planned the Newspaper, land didn't
happen TO see YOU
Don't fatter yourself" answered
the Book, haughtily. He never for
gets me-"
Il beg pardon, again apologized the
Journal.
al presume YOU never heard Of me
You are SO young. You are not TO be
blamed for that. Ii is not your fault
was written by his sweetheart year.
ago, and / have always been kept OF
his desk ever since. He used to read
me, but of late years he has contented
himself with leaving me where he could
see me whenever he wanted to-"
Where is his sweetheart now?''
asked the Newspaper, with professions
curiosity.
"She married an insurance agent
and has ten children now. She writes
10 him every once in a while for help
and he always sends il TO her on &C
count of old times. Oh! tell you, hC
Is very fond of me. He wouldn't dis
pose of me for the world. / am very
expensive / cost her ten dollars, so
have heard her say. May ask what i
your price?"
! Two cents, responded the News
paper. mcdestly.
so little as that How excessively
common But ought to make allow
anees for you. You have no poetr1
about you. no sentiment, no romance
You are all hard, cold facts, scandal
and politics.
Il have the news" replied the News
paper II contain everything tina
happens. am history of the worlt
for one day."
How il must bore you~ observe,
the Book, pityingly. "You must fee
like q bulletin board that every on
writes on How stupid. too"
Not az all, responded the News
paper, with interest. Il do a goo
work and / enjoy il thoroughly. tel
the world what is going on. / Civ
notice to the well of those who are sick
/ tell the living of those who are dead
I tell those who are married who hav
separated, and TO the old / tell VIII
are born tell the people what thei
servants, the office-holders, are doing
/ record the movements of govern
ments. / tell of wars, of peace-mak
iDgs The meetings of Kings and tn
conventions of workingmen / recor
impsrtially- Nothing is too great nc
too small 10 come into my columns
Many hesrErending tale of distress
/ many tragic story of death, many
murder, many q suicide is first know
to the world through the medium {
: 4 hofsa unrax-al