Daily Yellowstone journal., 1886-06-12
GOING TO SLEEP IN CHURCH.
A Churchgoer's Experience and q Physi.
clans Practical Ideas.

the other day, ~but seldom has my pro-
fessional aid been sought on an odder
ground than was presented to me re-
Gently by an elderly gentleman who
offered himself for my treatment. he
wanted me to cure him Of sleeping in
church. The happy thought had oc-
Cured to him of chewing tobacco-a
practice that he had abandoned for years
to keep himself awake, but he dropped
asleep all the same, partly swallowed his
first quid, and for few minutes en-
crossed the attention of the entire con-
gregation by his wild, unstudied ex-
plosions and cavortings. The memory
of that bright but shameful season of un-
hallowed excitement kept him wide
awake one Sunday, but the next he be-
gan to be drowsy just as soon as the
preacher got agoing. His mental strug-
gle with somnolency kept him just out
side the edge of good, comfortable
sleep, but nodding like a toy mandarin.
One minute he would nod forward,
further and further, until he threatened
to butt the stylish hat of the young
woman in the pew before him, and then
would wake with a guilty start. The
next he would nod backward, more and
more, until a consciousness of losing his
balance startled him up, and he would
come erect with a choking gurgle and a
snort that almost made the preacher lose
the thread of his discourse.
by his wife's advice he tried caramels,
cloves, dried ginger, lemon peel. and he
could not remember what all else, but
the only time that system was a success
was when she rang in some Cayenne pep
per lozenges on him. When all else had
failed she grimly said that she would un-
dertake the job of keeping him awake.
And she did it-once. Just as he was
dropping off into gentle doze and tun-
ing up for catarrhal obligato he fairly
flew into the ar, with remark that was
all that could be desired in point of en-
phasis, but the pious base of which was
sadly misplaced. She had jabbed shawl
pin into his leg. One of the deacons
came to see him during the week, and
said he thought that the provocation
might fairly be taken into account in
Judging the sinfulness of words uttered
in such hasty excitement. The deacon
suggested that he should try prayer to
keep him awake; but, of course, he didn't
take much stock in that advice, and
came to me-"
well, what did you do for him:"
@About all that the least harmful men,
bers of my profession do in most cases
nothing. told him he might drink very
strong tea or coffee before going to
church, and that would probably keep
him awake, but the tea would play the
deuce with his stomach and nerves, and
the coffee would be likely to damage his
liver, so he had better let both alone.
His wife.s experiment with the shawl
pin had demonstrated that a nerve could
be SO irritated as to insure wakefulness,
and for that treatment he could find the
required nerve pretty much anywhere
that pin could be got at him. AS for
posture, he couldn't go to sleep as long
40 he would stand on titoe."
"Why is the tendency to sleep in church
SD common, especially among menu
There are several reasons. One is the
temperature. In winter the church is,
as rule, too warm, and the effect of
warm atmosphere upon persons entering
il from the outside cold is to make them
drowsy, almost irresistibly, unless they
have some very strong mental or phys
ical interest or stimulant to keep them
wakeful. Then special means are af-
forded for Morpheus to attack worship
ers, both by the ear and the eye. All
noises of the world outside are, as far as
possible, excluded, and the only sound
that is heard for a long time is the
preachers voice in measured cadences,
little modulated, lulling to sleep as in
evitably as does the soft sound of rip
pling water, or the pattering of rain
drops on the roof. That monotonous
flow Of words is more likely than perfect
silence to make person drowsy. As
for the effect through the eyes, there is
the dim, religious light common in
churches, and, second, the straining and
unnatural position in which the eyes
have to be kept in looking up at minis
ter perched in a pulpit or on a platform
considerably.higher than the heads of
his auditors. You can not long look up
at anything without firing the muscles
that move the eyeballs and making you
want TO rest them by closing your eyes.
When you close your eyes in a comfort
able atmosphere, with persistent
lullaby in your ears, you must have some
powerful incentive to wakefulness, or
you will go off in the land of nod, just
as sure as that tack hammers are not
bananas. Look at congregations in the
more sensibly constructed modern
churches, where the floor Is in amphi-
theatrical form, and the line of sight is
straight, or inclining little down, from
each auditor to the minister at the low
est point. and you viii find very little
sleepiness there. especially If the place is
well lighted. Why, preacher must be
a first-class chump who can not keep the
brethren awake in that sort of church.
As for the women, they manage TO keep
awake very easily. How? BY giving
their attention to the study of one an
others bonnets. New York Sun.