Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-12-23
WHY THEY LAUGH.

= say you leave the door open too
lluch' saia an excitable father to H.
son. Wen, how much open shall Les
~ a7heo the BOY. Il mean you leava !,
open too often" was the reply. Go
often would you like it left opengn asLas
the son. Then the father rose and ~
son was glad that the door was open, e
Mistress and maid "where bavo
been Jane!" "Ive been to meats! YOU
the Girls Friendly Society. ma'asSo =,
swell what did the lady saw to vnr. ..
please ma'am, she said / wasn't ~ 80,
you warning, as / meant to. She ss;a
was to look upon you as my thorn~and
bear it," u
Halo Charley! What's upY Nera.
saw you looking so Jolly and hannv,,
MY best girls just got married. e..
married! Why man is that ANYTHING 70
be gay and festive osery You ongbt ~
be IN the last stages of melancbolv y
That's all right. You see I'm the fsliom
she's married"
Il don't miss my churh so much as Won
may suppose" said lady to her minis
ter, who called on her during her illness.
"for l make Betsey sit at the window ~
soon as the bells begin to chime. and sbs
tells me who are going to church ana
whether they have got on anything that's
new.
A gentleman praiting the personal
charms of very plain woman, his friend
asked him: "Why don't you Law claim
o such an accomplished beauty P" "What
right have 10 herr" Every RIGHT nv
the laws of nations" replied the former
you being the first to discover these
traits"
Sunday school teacher: THE object Of
this letter is to instruct obedience. Do
you know what obey meansy" Aptpu.
pill: Eyes, mann; l obey my father
Teacher: Eyes that's right. Now tell
me why you obey your father?n Apt
pupil: "Cause he's bigger'n l AMI"
"You favor the study of the dead Ian.
guages then, Professor Yocatives" In,
deed do; Insist upon it." And, why
pray?" Because we are all going to be
dead some day, and it is best that we
should acquire thelanguage while we
have an opportunity
"The last link is broken" the fellow
said when he kissed his girl good bye for
ever, at her request, because her parents
wished dissolution. few days after
he received note, saying: Dear George
there are plenty more links; come and
break them"
wag who is often merry over his per.
sonal plainress tells this story of him
self; | went to a chemist the other day
for dose of morphine for sick friend
The as aistant objected to give it to me
without prescription, evidently fearing
that l intended to commit suicide
'Pshaw, said l, do look like man who
would kill himself?' Gazing steadily at
me for moment he said: i don't know
1t seems to me if l looked like you |
should be tempted to kill myself"
Major B: eyes, Mrs. Thompson, had
sad disappointment in love. The lady
Tilted me. She is dead now. l forgive
her" Mrs. Thompson: "Ah, major, |
sympathize with you!" Major B.; "Were
you also disappointed in love, Mrs
thompson" Mrs. Thompson "Yes, in
deed" Major B.: "And the cruel man
/ hope he was punished. What became
of him?" Mrs. Thompson: Il married
him"
The following curious verdict was rem
dered by aiury; I'VE, jury, have come
to an agreement that it was an accident;
but if the said deceased is under IA years
of age we blame the firm; but if the de-
ceased was above age we blame both
parties
Laura" said Mrs Pavenue, on the
hotel piazza, to her, Laura, go and ask
he At oh 10 r,In
that sympathy from Meddlejohn' over
again. 1t such an awful favorte of
miue"