The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-14
HUMOR.


A TIGHT ht-o drunken one.
DARKNESS yisible-a negro taking
sun-bath.
A RUSSIAN prefers lemon-juice in his
tea to sugar. No wonder they are SO
aciduous in their Nihilist belief.
How Would you like to be the cover
on Bible when pretty won N wit
ness in court kisses it with smack?
The only persons in the wor d who
do not like to see redeeming qla tiles
in the human race are pawnbrokers.-
National Weekly.
WHEN Shakespeare wrote my king
dom for n horse" he showed that, with
oil his great knowledge, he was not
ignorant of the ruling charges of the
Long Branch hackman. Puck.
QUEER, isn't it? A man who will
swallow any kind of dish with an i'm
posing French name will be scared to
death if he catches cold with Greek
o. Latin title. -LoloeH Citizen.
1T NEVER COMES BUT ONCE.
Her face she seeks from his gaze t. hide,
And her heart is wildly beating;
Zee. in her check, how 40 rich, rod tee
Is advancing and retreatingl
Her lips are burning with loves first kiss
All life holds few such moments as this.
Be SION Courier
"WHAT do these letters stand 70 ?"
asked curious wife of her husband,
as she looked at his Masonic seal.
swell, really, my love-" he replied,
encou agingly, Il esume it is because
they can't sit down." 'She postponed
flu ther questioning -Merchant Trar-
eler.
Il DON'T wonder that people talk Of
the good old times" said the President
of the gas company. AT one time it
was dark for three days and three
nights on a street n in the land OF
Egypt. What a big thing it would be
for the gas companies if we could have
something like that in these days!"-
Boston Courier.
THE BAD BOYS FRIEND.
GRANDMA is old and wrinklcd and gray,
The bloom Of her beauty has faded away
But the words OF affection still fan from her
tongue,
And her heurt is as warm as when she was
young.
She's kind TO the young and 1t makes her heart
glad
To shield the bad boy from the wrath Of his dad.
All let him be grateful to her while he may,
He'll lose warm friend when she passes away.
Utica OtsrUeT.
CURIOUS sect in Russia, lied the
"Folk OF the Cody Nest" graves,
which they cal nests, in their earthen
floors or gardens, into which they re-
tire at certain mes and "fast and see
visions of saints and dew s." 1t is q
queer notion. In this country fox"
can see such visions, if not worse. by
simp eating mince-pie and pickle
before retiring 10 their nests.
"MRs. PRIMP is beautiful woman,
isn't she?" yes, she rs quite hand
some, but they say she paints" Well,
suppose she does, what OF it," Il
don't like to see woman resort to such
don't see why she shouldn't When it
has got to he a the rage to decorate
potato Washers. scoop-shove s, and SO
on, you can't b anne woman for CIV
ing herself dab with the brush now
and then. Chicago Ledger.
LITTLE Charley was presented with
one Of these new brand of cheap watches
which keep p city good time, but con-
sumo half the existence of boy in
winding them mp. The othe morning
he was four hours late TO school. and
when taken to task TO his ia diness,
he told his mother that he stopped ON
the wav to wind up his watch, and be-
70 g he had finished the job the scolars
were coming home to Dime. Norris
tolcn Herald.
NJ. DELAUNEY, weather prophet
of France, predicts several destructive
earthquakes next year, and says that
Saturn Will present part of his ring
in the shape of comet that will eclipse
the famous comet of lo5S. Delaney
is not very pleasant man to have
around, but his prognostications might
have been worse. He might have pre-
dicted that several French stars"
would appear in this country next
year.-Norristolc7 Herald.