The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-01-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

to wash,
:, Yeid break your neck as suue as your fast in
tails house.
Ye nae grown proud since We quatted the beg
ging.
Women with pale, colorless faces who feel weak
and discouraged, win receive both mental and bod
lily vigor by using Carriers Iron Pills, which are
made for the blood, nerves and complexion.
Mrs. F. took a friend to the art museum and
pointed out the wonders of Greek art. Standing
before the statues of Apollo and Diana, she
turned and said:
1T, This, my dear is the Apollo and that female
Being asked later the meaning of technical
"You will find it explained in the foot-note The
astrakhan refers you to It,"
The medicinal and pharmaceutical professions
Endorse Cogan's Tafy Tolu and use it freely in
their families. They know it to be healthful.
That the navy has deterorated in no respect for
which officers and men can be held responsible is
Iroquois on the Pacific station. The ship was
cleared for action in minutes so seconds; short
ened and furled all sail in min, so sec. first
division went to fire, quarters IN % Sec; rugged
and fired after torpedo In min., 20 sec.
What can be done to maintain perfect
physical condition is and has been the inquiry for
generations ny all interested III Inc welfare Oh
their fellow beings. This problem is satisfactorily
calculated in the great and popular medical work,
the "Science of Life,' 1t is level to the under
standing of all, and is the most useful medical
work published in this generation. The adyer-
tisement is in our columns
Senator Mason's little boy was overheard say
ing to his little sister one day:
Did you know Eat Niger mems mad biack
bretf?"
eyes; sawd it yesterday. Niger man des
blowed his breff on papa's boots and made EN- all
black"
Clipped from Canada Presbyterian, under sig
nature of c. Blaekett Robinson, Propr.: was
cured of oft-recuring bilious headaches by Bur-
dock Blood Bitters.
Editing paper is nice business.
headed.
If we omit Jokes, people say weare an old fossil.
five publish original matter, they blame us for
not giving selections.
If we publish selections folks say we are lazy
for not writing something they have not read in
some other paper.
If we give man a complimentary notice, we
are censured for being partial.
If we do rot give complimentary notices, folks
say we are a hog.
If we do not cater to the wishes of the ladies,
the paper is not fit to tie up parcel
Ii we remain in Our office and attend to our bust
ness, folks say we are too proud to mingle with
cur fellows
live go out, they say we never attend to our
business.
II we do not pay oprbilIs promptly folks say we
Ii we wear poor clothes, folks say business is
bad.
II we wear good clothes, they say we never paid.
Now what are we to do?
Pain from indigestion, dyspepsia, and too hearty
eating is relieved at once by taking of Carters
Little Liver Pills Immediately after dinner Don't
forget this.
Dumas Interviewed.-'You are a quadroon. /
believe, Mr., Dumas?" began an enterprising in
tergiewer.
II am, sir curtly replied Mr.. Dumas.
and your father?"
"My father was mulatto."
"And your grandfather, what was he"
"A negro" growled the father of French his
torical fiction, beginning to wax restless under
this straightforward catechism
And might presume to inquire what your
great-grandfather wasp"
can ape, SIR Numbered the author of Monte
Christo,' springing to his feet; my pedigree be-
gins where yours ends"
Sfy wife who has suffered with acute attacks of
neuralgia in the head used Athlophoros, and its
success was wonderful. After taking two doses
the pain left her and she has not had an attack
since. John Anger, 129 Howe ST., New Haven,ct.
Said his mother to Willie p. whose grandpa
had been his playmate: Eyes Willie grandpa has
gone to heaven where all the good people and
dear little children are.''
'sAnd won't" says little Willie, with shining
eyes, land won't the little children Jump for JOY
when they see g'anpa coming!' But little Walter
T. is told one morning that has grandpa is dead
gone to heaven you know Walter"
II don't want to go to Heaven
s'Why, Walter, why n0t?'
Because grandpa'll be there, and he'll say,
Observation-Disclosures shut the door,"
SCOTS Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver
Oil with Hypophosphites. IN Iacipient
Consumption possesses remedial powers of great