The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1886-06-25
Sleeping in Church.
From the New York Sun.

reasons sometimes, remarked a ply
sician the other day, "but seldom has
my professional aid been sought on
an odder ground than that presented
to me by an elderly gentleman who
offered himself for my treatment. He
wanted me to cure him OF sleeping in
church. Personally, he averred, be
would rather prefer not to keep awake,
as he didn't think much ofthe preach
ing, but his wife had made up her
mind that his slumbers were simply
scandalous,' and insisted that they
must be stopped. She did not care so
much while he could sleep without
snoring, but he got q catarrh, and
after that was a real bugle in Israel,
which she could not endure. Know
ing the value OF domestic peace
and quiet, he naturally wished to do
rs MS wife desired, but the flesh
was weak, and he still slumbered In
the sanctuary. The happy thought
occurred to him of chewing tobacco
a practice that he had abandoned for
years-to keep himself awake, but he
dropped asleep all the same, partly
swallowed his first quid, and for few
minutes engrossed the attention ofthe
entire congregation by his wild, I'M
studied explosions and cavortlngs.
The memory of the bright but shame
ful season of unhallowed excitement
Z Lr1
the next he began to be drOwsy Just
as soon as the preacher got agolng
His mental struggle with somnolency
kept him just outside the edge OF a
good, comfortable sleep, but nodding
Ike a toy mandarin. One minute he
would nod forward, further and fur
ther, until he threatened to butt the
stylish hat OF The young woman IN the
pew before him, and then would wake
with a guilty start. The enext he would
nod backward more and more, until a
consciousness of losing his balance
startled him up, and he would come
erect with achoking gurgle and snort
that almost made the preacher lose
the thread of his discourse. By his
wife's advice he tried caramels,
cloves. dried ginger, lemon peal, and
he could not remember what else,
but the only time that system was
a success was when she rang
In some cayenne pepper lozenges on
him. When all else had failed shegrlm-
Iy said she would undertake the Job OF
keeping him awake. And she did it
once. Just as he was dropping OFF into
+tYr q a
tarrhal ooligato, he fairly flew into the
air with remark that was all that
could be desired in point of emphasis,
but the pious base of which was sadly
misplaced. She had jabbed shawl
pin into his leg. One of the deacons
came to see him during the week, and
said he thought that the provocatlon
might fairly be taken into account In
iudaina tha SinfulnasS ofweRasattered
Insnch hasty excitement The deacon
suggested that he should try prayer to
keep him awake; but, of course, he
didn't take much stock In that, and
came to me"
"Well, what did youdo for him?"
"About all that the least harmful
members of my profession do In most
eases-nothing. / told him he might
drink very strong tea or coffee before
going to church, and that would prob
ably keep him awake, but the tea
would play the deuce with his stomach
and nerves, and the coffee would be
likely to damage his liver, SO he had
better leave them both alone. As for
giving him drugs to keep his nervous
system under such tension that dull
sermon could not make him sleepy, /
simply wouldn't doit. Then he wanted
to know If there wasn't some nerve
that could be irritated, by compression
or otherwise, SO as to brace him up,
or some posture he might assume
that would prevent his becoming
drowsy. / said yes to both ques-
tions. His wife's experiment with the
shaw pin had demonstrated that q
nerve could be so irratated as to in
sure wakefulness, and for that treat
ment he could find the required nerve
pretty much anywhere that a pin
could be got at him. As for posture,
he couldn't 60 to sleep as long as ne
would stand on tiptoe."
why is the tendency to sleep In
church so common. especially among
men7"
There are several reasons. One is
the temperature. In winter the
church IS, as a rule, too warm. and
the effect of q warm atmosphere upon
persons entering it from the outside
cold is to make them drowsy almost ir-
resistibly, unless they have some very
strong mental or physical interest or
stimulant to keep them wskeful. In
summer the great interior of q church
y q restful, cool relief from the heat OF
the street, and better temptation
60 placid slumber could not be de-
sired In both cases the soft, com.