Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-11-20
A woMAN's WIT.
From The New York News.


woman could outwit man. used
to say, that, smart as she might be,
a man with his senses about him was
smarter still. That she could be de.
tected in an instant, and that what
ever her purpose was, she showed il
so plainly in her face that no one
could be deceived for a moment.
And that as she could go nowhere
without attracting attention, and
needed male protector whenever
she did anything out of the common
way, such as taking a journey, OF
going out after dark, as she never
knew how to dispatch parcels OF
messages quietly, and had no ideas
of the hours of railroad trains, or the
way to get anywhere or do anything
legally, the man who suffered him.
self to be outwitted by her, was little
less than an idiot.
I have altered my mind, now. ]
have been the guardian of Miss
Matilda Middlebury for twenty-four
hours, and I revoke all that / have
said. A woman cannot tie up a
parcel, get to an unknown part OF
the world, cut anything with knife,
or give a direction properly; but
when she makes up her mind to
marry some one who is willing, old
cloven hoof and all his imps could
not battle her. She'll have her own
way.
Miss Matilda Middlebury is a young
lady of twenty-five years. 1, as hel
fathers legal adviser, know her ex.
act age. Before last Thursday l had
never seen her face to face. 1t was
in this wise: there came to me, pei
post, a letter dated Clemence Hill
and written, as / saw at once, by
some person in a violent rage. Lines
all crooked. Letters any shape. This
is what it said to me:
CLEMENCE HILL, Saturday.
Mr.. MARTIN: Dear Sir:-I shall
make no apology for troubling you
about matter which you will per-
haps consider a little out of your
sphere. l should not make any apol.
ogy to the king Of anywhere for ask
ing him to pull me out of the water
if / were drowning. This is life
and death matter to me; you must
help me. Besides, you are my legal
adviser, and l want you to take the
law into your own hands. That is
all.
have daughter-Matilda Mid.
,dlebury. You have made my will
in her favor. 1t is possible that you
may have to alter it yet; but that is
neither here nor there. That daugh.
ter is now twenty-five years old
consequently, of age and her own
mistress. She has chosen to fall in
love with a contemplate, good-for'
nothing rascal, whom l have for.
hidden to speak to her again, and
she is determined to marry him. She
tried to humbug me, the jade, and
promised to give him up; but / have
positive informed that she intends tC
marry him on Thursday afternoon
All preparation are made, and the
trunks packed for a departure tt
Europe. 1 forgot to say that she i;
visiting a friend at -- Street, New
York.
The rascal comes there every even
ing, plays the piano, sings sentimen
tai songs, and makes love. The
other girl is in the plot, and is going
to be bridesmaid. And here am J
with the govt in my right foot, chain
ed down at Clemence Hill, without
IL friend / dare trust in the world save
you.
For Heavens sake, find me thu
girl. Take her into custody. Ares
her. Do what you choose with he
only don't lose sight of her unit
you bring her safe to me. / dom
care what it costs; do it. Pm a ricf
man. Any bill will be considered
reasonable. You have the undyins
gratitude of your old friend in thu
bargain, of course.
Matilda does not know anything
about law, and is awfully afraid o
it. Remember, out Of your sigh
one moment, and all is over. Thanh
heaven you never married and hav'
no daughter.
~ Yours, Truly,
J. p. MIDDLEBURY.
p. S. No., Street. Dom
forget. Lady by the name of Stark
wife of DR.. Stark, is the person she i
visiting. JPN.