davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Indian Gamblers and JOCKEYS.

All Indians after while become expert
card players, and the Flatheads are no
exception to the rule. These latter gentry
are not afraid TO try their skill and nerve
with the spOrtive frontiersmen of the
northwest, with whom they frequently
have long sieg,.s Of draw. To these ex
perienced gamblers the local fry are as
children. Many young buck with no
inheritance TO speak of has enriched him
self amazingly at the expense of wayfarers
who have tallen by the wayside. Some
of these youngsters who draw the right
card at the right time have fine large
herds Of ponies to their credit in conse-
Quence thereof As jockey riders the
Flathead5 and their relations have per-
haps no equals on earth. Raised as they
are from childhood almost on a pony's
back, so to speak, it is no wonder they
become superior equestrians.
When preparing for a race the young
bucks skin themselves of their clothing
so as to present as little resistance TO the
air as possible. A Flathead jockey
mounted for business is dressed in moth
ing more than brech clout and perhaps
a thin cotton shirt, which floats in the
breeze but offers no impediment to rider
or horse. Leaning forward on their hardy
little cayuses they dash down the race
course like the wind, jumping bitches
and dodging trees with a precision and
skill truly marvellous The white mans
race course is fiat. level stretch Of
ground, rolled smooth. over which the
animal simply runs while the rider has
nothing much to do except hold his seat
On the other hand, an Indian will race
over any kind Of ground, among timber
or swimming steams, combining with the
simple speed of his animal individual skill
and judgment in surmounting a score of
obstacles and always coming under the
wire ahead. A white man seldom wins a
race from an Indian, and there is no
wonder for it.-New York Commercial
Advertiser.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

young MAJ with an expression Of con-
fdence on bis face entered Michigan avenue
clothing store yesterday and asked:
Il am straight business. l want a suit OF
clothes. There are seven Of US who will buy
our clothes at the same place. have been
sent on ahead to get prices"
"Humph.'
IF bring the other six here to buy, what
viii you make this $50 suit forr
The clothier went over and sat down by the
stove with disgusted look on his face.
You didn't answer my Question"
My frendt, please so oudt. You make me
VERY tired,'
What's the matter with youl Don't you
want me TO bring the party here,'
No, my frendt, l don't All my sales
to-day goes to an orphan asylum, and like
to keep 'em down to n summer coat und
pair Of second hand pants! Better try der
man two doors below Detroit Free Press.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
A small Boys Opinion.

There is small boy in South Boston
whose childish efforts to solve the mystery
of death and the after life for the benefit
Of a little girl who questioned him on the
subject are interesting. "You see," he
said to her, you 90 on and on, and then
you stop; and the first thing you know
you are going on again, and then you
can't stop" When he was told of the
blissfulness Of this life after ''you can t
stop" and its freedom from suffering, he
said: "It'll be nice TO be there and not
have any touches, won't it, mammal"
ANY what'' why, any touches Of
measles and cholera mobiles and such
things. Boston Record.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

We begin the publication of The Roccay
Mountain Cyclone with some phew diphicul-
ties in the way. The type phounders phrom
whom we bought our output phor this print
ing ophice phaiied to supply us with any
ePhs or Gays, and it will be phour or phivs
week bephore we can get any. The mistaqus
was not phound out till day or two ago.
We have ordered the missing letters, and will
hnve to get along without them till they
come. We don't lque the look ov this va
riety Ov spelling any better than our readers,
but mistaX will happen in the best regulated
phamilies, and iph the ph's and c's and Ks
and qs hold out we shall ceep Sound the c
hard The Cyclone whirling aphter phashion
till the sorts arrive. 1t is no joque to us-its
a serious phair.-Rocky Mountain Cyclone
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Odds Fish.

what do You think our fathers wereT
asked the ,ecturer And then we left the
hall, because the conundrum was so easy and
the subject 50 commonplace. Our fathers
were not very good all round swearers They
swore most wretchedly "od zooks" and odds
fish, "gadzooks" and fore gad," POUNDS, :"
"sdeath,' "byrlady," and lot of such rub
bish. Still, they may be pretty good words
to swear with. Certainly they aren't fit for
anything else.-Robert J. Burdette in Brook
lyn Eagle
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
LYRICS OF BOSTON CULTURE.

When the winds are wailir with weird and dis
And the fimsy flakes are wing on the pinons Of
the gale
When the fierce Atlantic pillows, with a sullen
angry roar
Rush up the sandy beach and dash against the
rOck-bound shore,
When from the Polar regions comes the frost king
in his might,
When we hear the storm fends shrieking through
the tenebrific night,
When for Christmas geese and turkeys local states
men shake the dice,
And in suburban ponds men fish for pickere
through the ice,
When of smoking buckwhsat pancakes men car
scarcely get enough,
II is then the gentle maiden wants Q sealskin
sacque and muff.
THE OLD STORY.
He came TO the sanctum one night,
The place where the editors wright!
He was hungry, he said,
And he wanted some bread,
Would be glad to get even a blight.
He had served in a cavalry corps
In the war for the Union, he swOrps;
Rode charger milk white,
Was the first in each fite
And slaughtered his foes by the scorps.
But to his appeals for pension
The government paid no attensiou;
He was old auh rheumatic
And half paraIytC,
And his woes were too numerous to mension.
His case was hard one no doubt,
So some of the boys went abOubt
And raised him sum
That for some time to cum
Would keep him, and then he went oubt.
When he i'll the court was arraigned
Next morning the cause was explaigned:
He had wasted the sum
That We gave him in rum
He has since at the island remaigned.
Boston Courier.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

"What is this l hear" said Mrs Spook,
"about compulsory prayer being abolished il
Harvard Did they use to compel the
students to prayp
YES" said young Spook, who had JUS
come home from college on a vacation; yes,
the janitor Gsed to go round three times 4
a day, and make every student get down on
his knees and pray, and il the student re-
sisted, swore at him like pirate"
That's Just right" rejoined Mrs. Spook;
sif young fellow won't pray, he ought to be
sworn at until be is ashamed of himself -
Lynn Union
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
4 Wise Sentinel.

In the barrack room: Officer Of instruction
When you are on sentry duty and you see
general coming what do you dol
Recruit-PreSent arms
Officer-And if group of drunken persons
walk past, what do you theni
Recruit-Present arms
Officer-What! Why sol
Recruit-There may be general among
them.-From the German
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Not n PhilanthropIst.

At late meeting of debating society in
Kansas City the question was discussed: is
Jay Gould Philanthropist, or Whati"
The discussion was hot one, and lasted an
hour and half, and then vote was taken
and it was decided by four majority that he
was "or what
Gentlemen" said a big man who looked
into the room after the question was settled,
ALLOW ME TO congratulate you There's a
crowd of fifty Of us out here who were wait
ing for the verdict, and if it had been Phi
lanthropiSt' every blamed one Of you would
have been carried home on q shutter. Wall
Street News
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
He Didn't Want any More Sister.

She wasn't very young, but she had money.
He didn't want the earth
Dearest" he began, but she stopped him.
Il anticipate what you are about to say,
Mr.. Sampson" she said, and would spare
your feelings, for it can never never be. es-
teen you highly and will be Il sister to-
Il have four sisters already" he replied
bitterly, -four grown sisters, and life Is a
hideous burden. But, oh Clara, he went on
passionately, If you cannot be my wife will
you not give me mothers protecting lovei
I'm an orphan. Life.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
He Thought 1t Was an Optical Delusion.

The story of the twins is the latest A
father OF twins was naturally very proud OF
them, and when they came to q presentable
sge he insisted on a friend calling to see them.
The friend agreed and named the day. The
twins were dressed in their best, put side by
side in an arm chair and awaited inspection.
Now, the friend had been lunching rather
heavily and drinking rather freely, and con-
sequently his vision was not as perfect as it
ought to have been. However, he went TO
admire the twins, and was ushered into the
room where they were There" exclaimed
the proud father, did you ever see anything
to match that!" The visitor, conscious of the
possibility of an optical delusion, quietly re-
piled: Quite right; it's q splendid child
ETchanpe
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

"Bill," said a country editor to his COM
bined foreman, compositor, office boy and
reporter; Bill. take down that piece on the
standing galley which begins, Last night a
scene of brilliant gayety.' We won't use it
any more"
"Why notl The face amt worn of Of all
the letters yet"
Il know that; but George Gould says mar
riage is serious business and we must re-
spect the opinion of millionaire, you know.
It'd Bits
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Starting in the Wrong Place,

a stranger, who was quietly looking over a
water power in Western village was sought
out by the mayor, who said:
Il hear you think of starting factoryi'
YES"
Its good place, and you'll find our people
all right. We don't put on any great amount
of style, nor don't aim to. Here's pair Of
suSpenders have worn for over forty years,
though I'm worth $4,000"
"Ah! Uml' muttered the stranger; "but It
was suspender factory l was thinking to
locate here wall Street News.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
A Genuine MunkacsY

Munkacsy, the Hungarian painter, who has
just come to New York, met with an anus
ing adventure which he told with some as
tonishment to one or two of his friends. He
strayed into region of second hand shops
and found one where very old and dilapi-
dated paintings were offered for sale. Some
Of these he priced, and finally asked the
Hebrew proprietor about a wretched mon
strosity which looked as if some gamin had
made it, and then becoming disguised with
his work had thrown it in an ash barrel
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Colored Citizen-Talk about de freedom OF
deese ere 'Merican in'stootions; dey wouldn't
low me ter vote at all
Omaha Man-But, Sam, you hadn't been
here long enOu.h TO be entitled to a vote.
Cant help dat. l feel mighty bad bout it,
jest the same
But you knew none of the candidates.
What difference did it make to youf"
'Difrence. done had to give de states
man his dollah back, sab. Omaha World.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Tell me, o Aristarchus, tell me, by the
shield Of Pallas Athene, what find you in the
exchanges this day that you briskly apply
your never to be satiated and early devouring
shears"
"Of truth, o Mnestheus, the times go hard,
for neither on the all laundering editorial
pages, nor in the columns Of the argus eyed
local reporters, nor yet even in the from
everywhere selected miscellany can l find
matter worthy TO be culled for our all per
vading sheet. And, by the gods immortal,
do esteem it TO be cruel fortune that at this
time, when news is scarce and advertising
slow, it is required Of me to bring to the altar
Of the remorseless printers fresh and plenteous
tecatombs Of reprint"
You speak true things, o Aristarchus
wielder of the nimble sciSsors But, by the
dog, how hardly shall it go with me, who,
when these papers bear me no word provok-
ing pointers, am forced to sit me down TO
gaze at the four walls and TO invoke of men
dacious Mercury the aid which he alone with
his inventive arts can bringl"-Eugene Field
in Chicago News.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

A French journal describes a new
method of reading character, known as
"scarpalogy." 1t consists in study Of
the heels and toes of shoes. If these are
worn down evenly the wearer Is good
business man, energetic and quick in de-
cisiOn. II the outer side is worn more
than the inner, he is Of an adventurous
turn of mind. Weakness Of character is
indicated by heel and sole worn most on
the inner side.--BOstOn Budget.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

administered to her vigorous kick on the
flank at the same time. The mare, heretofore
lively and obedient, suddenly stood still and
planted her four feet III the soil as if she
| meant to take root.
Take her off, Spider" exclaimed the Doc,
putting away his $50 I'm in a hurry"
Snlder proceeded. But the mare wouldn't
lie coaxId, he Jerked, he slapped, he showed,
he prOdded. The mare was as immoyable as
a stone fence.
Schemes of various kinds were reSorted to
to waken her up. but all in vain.
Then Snider, sweating and swearing de
cided 10 give it up a bad job.
he accordingly delivered himself of this
unstudied Grafton: Doc, you know well that
If there Is anything -this-earth hate
worse'n Satan, it's darned baker You've
got one onto me this trip. Call the dlcker
off, an say its only a cod'
Can't think of it, Sniderl" quietly replied
the Doc. "A bargains bargain. Take the
mar n git, fore you rile me with yer funk"
Take an git!' exclaimed Snider. Don't
you see an airthquake wouldn't bulge the
brute. Say, Doc" he proceeded in a more
conciliatory tone, IN drop SIS on the deal
and never say another word about it. Comel"
We'll, said the Doc thouchtfullv, Il hate
to give back good money win on the square
spec; but seeln' its you, Snider, here's half
yer boot and the trades off Git back to yer
stall, LouG and by a magic touch the balky
mare was made 10 frisk into the stable with
out another word
As was telling you, just before Snider
came up, / want only trick boss whose
tricks are worth something got that mar,
Lou, down pretty fine in three weeks lessons,
amt II She'll make a pile for me if each
sucker as he gets kitchei on her doesn't squeal
and give the snap too dead away. .'-Exchangc.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Mont EIanc's Halo.

A curious fact concerning Mont Blanc
has been communicated to the Paris
Academy Of Sciences by NJ. Ch. Zengler
1t is that BLUSH green glow about the
top of the mountain sometimes remains
visible until l0:30 o'clock at night.
NJ. Zengler concluded that this phosphor-
escence was due to ice and carbonate Of
lime mingled; and he has succeeded in
photographing the glow. w.-Arkansaw
Traveller
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
"ENGLIsH AS SHE IS SPOKE. ~

"Oh! tailor, press mJ suit to-day"
The young man cried in sorrow;
Because my girl expects that
Will press my suit tomorrow"
These clothes wear are thin and old,
And scarcely worth a hooter,
And such a suitor as am
I'm sure would never suit her"
'Of course" the tailor said with giee,
To see the young mans sorrow;
MY lawyer has your last years bills,
He'll press the suit tomorrow"
Washington Critic
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Fer an old maid, the piano forty; for the
burglar, the lutte; for the commercial trav-
eler, the drum; for the farmer, the hoe boy;
for the country hotel, the vile inn; for the
Freemasons, the symbols; for the pawn
broker, the Jews harp; for the politician, the
organ; for lovers, the mouth harmonica-
Wait
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Dots Chenuine Munkncsy," said the
dealer. "itwas 500 years olt zell him for
$50, schoost nodings at all"
"Munkacsy MunkacSy" said the visitor.
why that can't be, for Munkacsy is alive
yet He is here in this city now" ~Vot, dot
vellar." exclaimed the dealer scornfully, IVY
he's a fraud. All de kreat ardisds here say
dotr-Savannah News
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Dick Recognized the Bugs.

Mrs Minks-My dear, the window plants
are getting full of insects.
Mr.. Minks-Good gracious! I'll have to be-
gin smoking again. That kills them, you
know.
Mrs. Minks-Oh, hope not. But where in
the world did these things come FRONT They
don't look like regular rose bugs.
Little Dick-Why, thems tie ones pap
gave me quarter for catching In the gar.
den.-Omaha World
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
DICK AND HIS DOG.

Old Dick was like his dog, twas said,
In every particular,
And upright were the lives they led,
Their ways were purp-and Dick ular.
Merchant Traveller.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

The 125 steamships plying between the
United States and Europe cost 800, 900,
900, employ Is, $50 men, spend 81 900,
900 a month for coal, carry 500, 600 passen-
gers a year, and earn s22, 100000 for
passage money exclusive OF what is paid
for freight.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Telegraphy for Army Officers.

The German war Office having decided
that all sub officers must learn telegraphy,
100 officers selected from the Berlin gar
rison and 100 from the garrison of Stras-
burg and Metz have begun a course OF
tuition. Frank Leslie's.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Il think have suffered more at the hands
Of the southerners than any man l ever
knew" said G. A. R man the other day.
Il was seven times wounded, was imprisoned
at Andersonville for year, had my house
burned at Gettysburg and married a southern
widow-Exchange.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Show US the woman who can get off Of q
horse or steam car when in motion, with her
nose in the right direction, and we will fur
nish her a husband in twenty minutes. Carl
Pretzel in National Weekly.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Youthful Ticer limiting.

Little boy" said an old gentleman in lower
Broadway, why DO you cry so bitterlyf7
"Cause l jest lost fifty cents"
did you drop it down coal hole.r
"Wuss'n that. l lost it over in de bucket
shop speckerlatin' in st. Paul. Life.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Some Of the fashion Journals are in q
1uandary. The altitude Of the winter hats
offered for illustration makes it necessary
either TO lengthen the columns of the paper
or reduce the scale Of the drawings Buffalo
Express
IRICKS Or HORSE TRADERS.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

docs the razor hurt, sirF' asked the barber
Of Lighthead.
NO" replied L.iChthead, "the razor doesn't
hurt, but my face does, awfully."
HE SEEMED TO FORGET.
Unreasonable Old Man Ito bruised and
MANNED son)-There you are, with one eye
gouged out, both ears gone, dislocated
shoulder blade, broken arm and fractured
leg, with whisky enough in you to start
liquor store, and all for a college game of
football. It's outrageously disgracefull
Bruised and MANNED son (reproachfully)-
Father, you seem to forget that you were q
young gentleman yourself once.-New York
Sun
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Women generally do not make good
detectives. They have too many nerves
and too little nerve.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

There are scme men who have so much
genius that they can't do anything but sit
around all day and think about it
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

In St Louis 1000 pounds of copper
have been used in making just one steam
kettle for brewery.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
Severe.

Matilda Ann twho has given Jimmy the
tatfy money to take care of-Here, you Jim
Sweeney come back wild dat cent Did yer
want ter sneak off ter Canada wild yer
Doodle, sa a-ayi-The Judge.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

An autumn blue book shows close on
to 200, 900 fighting Britons under anna
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
THERE is NO PERFECTION ON EARTH.

Her eyes are like the stars which shine on high,
Her voice is like the evening zephyr's sigh,
Her handsa are whitest marble tipped with pearl,
Her feet-alas, she's Chicago girl
Cincinnati Merchant Traveller.
Her cheeks are like the ros. that blooms in June
Her eyes are blue as skies at summer noon,
Her chn-it sets one s senses in a whirl,
Her mouth-alaS. she's an Ohio girl
Chicago Rambler
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
In Our Mndern Society.

ae-What beautiful teeth you have, my
doir. What do you use on theml
She-The ashes Of my first husband: he
was cremated, you know.-L Price Randall.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

A father may succeed in cutting of his son
without cent, but he can't cut OFF the
lawyers.-H ansas City Journal
He KNEW the Meaning Of Cards
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

l. b. 4 ". Passenger Trains leave and arrive
at Springfield as 5OllOws:
Going West-2:l5 IN lI:25 am; 500 pm
Arrive from West-2:U5 m 4; g:45 m: $50 D n
Going East-2:3 a m; 9:55 N; 5:35 p m ; s:le
pm
M 7:55 m.
Going North-2:45 m lO:O5 m; 5:3s a N.
Arrive from NOrth-l:l5 N; 9:45 I'm; 40
pm.
N.Y.P.& i o. TRAINS LEAVE:
Going West-l:4l m; lO:55 m 3:4s pm
Going East-2:25 m; lO:23 m; 9:S7 m.
OHIO SOUTHERN TRAINS LEAVE;
Going SOuth-l0:30 m; 5:35 pm.
Arrive from SOuth-9:5U IN 4:3Opm.
Z. Z. HESDERsOS, Ii. y. BROSsoS
Gen. Manager. Gen Tkt Agent.
d. ii. ROCHE, WM. HEEEERMAS,
Gen Agent Ticket Agest.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19
THE GREAT PAN HANDLE ROUTE.

P. C. & st. L. Railway, l.. VI. Division
Springfield Branch.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-19

Arrive : No.5 No. 3. No. Il Yo.f
The Osceola times., 1886-10-30
important to KuptureG
Persons.

The Excelsior Rupture Cure Mfg
Co., of Ogdensburg, N. Y, guaran-
tee to Cure any case of reducible
Hernia with their Remedies.
THE RUPTURE PLASTER AND HEALING
COMPOUND.
This treatment is endorsed by our
best Doctors, Druggists, and the
general public. cond 65cts for free
book on Rupture or ask your drug
ist for the Remedy. .
Or.ISTtREsr 70 LADIES.
The new treatnent for ladies' dis
eases discovered by DR.. Mary "A.
Gregg, the distinguished English
Physician and nurse, which has rev.
olutionized the entire mode of treat
I'M. these complsirrs in England is
nos being introduced into the L. s.,
under a fair and novel plan.
Sufficient of.this rp1eJy for ONE
MONTHS rH1 I rREArirSr is sent
FREE to euy lsdy.who is suffering
from any disease common t. the sex
who sends her address and l3 2ct
stamps for expense, charges, etc.
1t is a positive cnre for any form
Of female disease and the free trial
package is many times sufficient to
effect permanent cure. Full di-
rectipls accompany the package
(Which is put up in a plain wrappcr)
also price list for future reference.
No trial packages will be sent after
Aug. lst, 1856. Address GREGG
REMEDY COMPANY, Palmyra, N. Y.