Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-04-29
Anmuruns department.

Down THE WRONG THROAT.-A lady
living in Philadelphia has a pony of which
she is very fond, and not long ago, as he
was not in good health, she called in a YER
terniary surgeon, who prescribed a powder
for the equine favorite. The next morning
the old lady said to her man-of.all-work:
"Pat, did you give the pony his med
icine?"
81 put it with his hay, num-" was the
reply, "and he ate all the hay, but not a
bit of the powder did he touch at all. Oh,
I'll fool him tonight. I'll give it to him
sure"
The next morning the lady called Pat
again, and was surprised to see him looking
very rueful.
"What's the matter now ?" said she.
"Faith, mum, I got a lead pipe an I put
the medicine in it, and backed the pony in
the corner. Thin I put the pipe in his
mouth an was jist goin' to blow it down
into him, but the haste he breathed first,
and I hev the powther in me instid of in
him."
How it affected the Hibernian has not
yet transpired.
q Major-"Who is that lady on the op-
posite side of the room?"
Widow-''That is my daughter. This is
her first season. She is not quite 10 yet"
Major-"WiI you introduce me
Widow-'Certainly. Rosa, mydear, this
is Major Guns. Major, my daughter, Ro-
sa."
Rosa-"Good evening. And so you were
in the WARP"
Major-"Yes, I enlisted Immediately af-
the battle of Bull Run and served till the
&. close"
Rosa-"My poor, dear father was killed
in that battle"
The Major is now buried in deep thought.
NE1eHBoRLY.-"Have you any tobacco,
friend ?" asked a Manchester, N. H., man,
of a stranger in the depot, the other day.
"Plenty of it neighbor, said the "friend,"
drawing out a forty cent plug and handing
it to the "neighbor."
"My friend, does it make any difference
to you where I bite this?" turning it over
and overin his hand as if looking for agood
place.
"Not in the least" said the friend in
surprise.
swell, then, I'll bite it in Boston" said
the n%eighbor, stepping aboard the train
as it started out.
IN A HURRY.-"I have a severe bruise
on my arm, doctor, and would like to
have you give me something to heal it,
said Sam Simpson, who always has got
something the matter with him.
"All right" said the doctor, hurriedly
writing a prescription. "Send this to the
apothecary at once. Don't lose a minutes
time. Run"
"Then you think the wound is danger
Gus % said the patient.
mo. I am afraid it will completely heal
up before I have a chance to apply the
salve and enter a charge of 50 against you"
RarSo you would like to become a black
smith, would you?" he said to a little bare
foot boy, as he stopped blowing the bellows
for a moment.
"Yes sir" the boy replied, II would like
to learn the trade"
care you strong and healthy"
eyes sir"
Here the boy stepped his bare foot on a
hot horseshoe, and the blacksmith remark
ed:
swell, I'll give you a trial. You seem
to be one of the quickest little boys I ever
saw"
FoREORDAINED TO BE ROBBED.-"Say,
Blakely, that's a big roll of money to be
carrying around at this time of night"
ooh, I don't know. I got a check cashed
to-day"
II wouldn't go across those vacant lots
alone. You might be robbed"
"Pooh! A little matter like that doesn't
disturb me. My wife will be sure to rob
me after 1 get home."-CuN:
WHY He WAS SILENT.-At q recent din
ner party the subject of eternal life and fu-
ture punishment came up for a lengthy dis
c~ussion, in which Mark Twain, who was
present, took no part. A lady near him
turned suddenly toward him and exclaim-
ed: "Why do you not say anything? I
want your opinion" Twain replied grave
ly: MADAM, you must excuse me; I am
silent of necessity; 1 have friends in both
plsces."-Erie Dispatch.
"How I pity the poor such a night as
this 2" said Blande, as he sat in his COM
Portable apartment. "Then why" asked
Bluff, "don't you put on your coat and see
if you cannot render assistance to some of
them?" "Ah!" replied Blande, "then I
shouldn't be so comfortable as I am now,
and I might forget the poor and begin to
pity myself. That would be selfish you
know"
VERY NARROW EsCAPE.-A youth of
Hibernian extraction in %chopping wood
with a Ratchet the other day was so unfort-
innate as to Craze the thumb of his left hand
with which he was steadying the piece of
kindling he was splitting. Ruefully gazing
at the injured member, he remarked: "Be-
CORA, it was a good thing I did not have
hold of the handle with both hands or I'd
have cut it off, sure"
ps- elbow often do you present your bill to
that young fellow" said a gentleman to a
cigar-store man when a dude told him to
charge him with a package of cigarettes.
"Quarterly, sir" "What? You don't
mean to say you, trust him for three
months?" ooh, no, of course not. Quar-
terly in this case means every time the bill
amounts to a quarter"
NOT THAT KIND OF A BoY.-"My boy,
don't you know that picking eggs is gamb-
ling"
"It is?"