Smyrna times., 1886-05-12
Sharp, Short and Sunny,

III budI ClaO6.
Decoration Day comes on Sunday
this year, and its observance will be on
the following Monday.
Next to their best girls a horse trot
has the most powerful attraction for
young men in these parts.
The comet shows to good advantage
now in the southwestern sky, and may
be readily seen with the naked eye.
The ladies declare that there are
over 200 shades known in spring goods,
and yet some of them can not be suited.
"What kind of a dog is that, my lit
tie man ?" Hes a part terrier"
"And what's the other part?" "Oh,
just dog"
1t is said that the new Washington
sewer is the largest in the world. 1t is
large enough for team of horses and
load of hay to be drawn through the
entrance.
President Cleveland's attention is
called to the fact that after June 1st
the marriage license in Maryland will
be only 81.
The value of the hardware produced
in the United States each year is now
about 100000 900, and nearly half of it
is made in Connecticut.
Expert authority says that the rule
against the sale of alcoholic liquors in
the Capitol at Washington is more of a
farce than ever this year.
An Albany clothing firm advertises
that it will supply every boy in town
with brass drum free" on the pur-
chase of any kind of suit.
JEFF. Davis march through Georgia
creates considerable enthusiasm, hut it
doesn't size up to Old Tecumseh Sher-
mans twenty-One years ago.
The boycott is a deadly serpent
which the I4aborer is warming in his
bosom. And he may warm it too long,
even to his own destruction.
Don't speak lightly of the EDITORS
poverty. He tries to joke about it but
makes Il dismal failure every time.
Leastwise, that is our experience.
Jones, of Florida, is coming back TO
Washington, it is said, if the other
Senators will promise not to tease him
about his luckless quest in Detroit.
A babe is mothers anchor. And
the mother is the anchors" spanker.
and she always needs nice. light.
handy slipper to get her work in with.
The riot Of the Anarchists in Chicago
is denounced and deplored throughout
New York City, the only men express
pleasure at the news being Herr Mosts
followers.
Miss Mitchell, a daughter of Senator
Hipple-Mitehell, of Oregon, is said to
be the reigning American beauty at
Paris, and her portrait has been paint
ed by Healy.
Out of 10000 bills introduced in the
two Houses of Congress, less than sixty
have been sent to the President. OF
these he has permitted all except four
to become law.
The New England Meteorological
Society has 800 voluntary observers as
correspondents last summer, and ex-
poets to have many more during the
coming season.
Even the tramps have caught the
prevailing craze. They have resolved
to boycott those houses where the only
bite they get when they apply for food
is given by the dog.
Suppose women were compelled "a
take off their hats in church? asks an
observer. Well, the minister wouldn't
have to use so many words to show
up what is false, that's all.
The lady that advertises for g. a nurse
girl to mind children" usually gets
what she advertises for. The nurse
girls that children will mind are as
scarce as a fair oyster at church stew
'Are you pretty we'll acquainted
with your mother tongue, nv bov p
asked the school teacher of the new
scholar. Yes, sir" answered the lad
tlmidly, ma jaws me a good deal, sir
Among the names of the rioters ar.
rested in Chicago there is not the name
of single person Of American birth
They are all foreign anarchists. Jus
tiee should deal with them speedily
and sternly.
1t is said that Clinaman never
swears when ne gets mad. because
there are no cuss words in the die
tionary. He simply upsets his wash
tub, butts the bottom out, kicks a dos
and feels better
Miss Constance Edgar, the beautifu
step-daughter Of Col. Jerome Bona
parte, renOunced the world and il
pleasures last week at the Convent o
the Visitation, Baltimore, where sh,
took the VOWS Of nun.
What did say ?" asked a membe
OF Congress the other day when he sa
down in his seat after making hi
maiden speech. "I'll be blamed if
know what / was talking about.
never was so scared in all nv life"
The recent utteramees of jeff Dayi
has reused a little hornets nest il
many quarters throughout the North
ern States. Politicians with nothin,
else on hand are taking out thei
spread eagle war speeches and warm
ing them up again.
Canadians are beginning to worr
over their loss Of forests. In the NOR
thlckly settled parts Of Ontario only
per cent. Of woodland remains. an
wells must be dug to the depth Of fort
or fifty feet where formerly waite
could be reached at six.
Au. Powderly, it is said, thinks III
Presidents plan Of a permanent con
mission to arbitrate labor disputes
good as far as it goes, but that
would be better ilit went to the exter
Of creating a department Of the 20,
ernment with a cabinet minister at il
head.
Mustard plants used to be the terrc
and disgust of the California whes
grower. Now they are source
profit. BY an ingenious mechanics
harvesting machine both crops al
gathered seperate, and the mustard
worth more than the wheat on tI
same land
Our agent in Blossburg, Pennsylv.
niawrites, after givingauumber Oftest
monials 70 the efficacy of the Brazilia