The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-04-16
LEGAL ANECDOTES.
Wise, Witty. and Pungent Sayings OF
Bench and Bar.

Bench and Bar.
The writer remembers hearing of a
gentleman who, not wishing to pay the
legal and recognized fec for a consulta-
ton with his lawyer, devised an exredi-
ent whereby he expected to gain the
information he required without the
usual cost. He accordingly invited the
man Learned in the law" to dine at
his house on n particular evening, as q
friend and old acquaintance. The law
yer gladly accepted the invitation, and
attended at the house of his friend and
client prompt to the minute. The con-
versation for some time was very gener-
al and agreeable, and by and by the
shrewd client, by limiting and suggest
ing, at last drew the lawyer out into a
learned and explicit dissertation upon
the subject the host wished to be inform
ed upon. The client pleased, satisfied,
and smiling, chuckled in his sleeve,
thinking how nicely he had wormed out
the advice desired and pumped his law
yer free of cost.
The feast over, the lawyer departed,
equally pleased, and, both being salts
lied. all went as merry as a marriage
bell. But q few days afterward the
client received a letter from his lawyer
informing him that the charge for pro
tessional consultation and advice was
- shillings and 4 pence, and would he
"kindly attend to the payment of same
at his earliest convenience, and oblige.n
The client was wild-caught in his own
trap; but, being determined to outwit
the lawyer and gain his own ends. he
forwarded to the latter a bill for din
ner, wines. and accessories supplied
on the 10th inst, amounting to ID shil-
lings and 4 pence, saying that if he
would settle the inclosed bill he should
only be too pleased and happy to settle
the lawyers little bill. The lawyer re-
torted by threatening to m an
action against mine host for selling
wines without q licence unless his, the
lawyers, bill was Immediately paid.
Do | need to say that the lawyer was
victorious?
When l was a boy. I heard of a law
yer who was called up in the middle of
a cold winters night to draw out the
will of an old farmer, who lived some
three miles away, and who was dying.
The messenger had brought a cart to
convey the lawyer to the farm. and the
latter in due time arrived at his destina-
ton. When he entered the house he
was imediately ushered into the sick
room, and he then requested to be sup
piled with pen, ink. and paper. There
were m in the house! The lawyer
had not brought any himself. and what
was he to dos Any lead-pencil? he in
quired. No; they had none. The
farmer was sinking fast. though quite
conscious. AT last the legal gentleman
saw chalked up on the back of the bed
room door column upon column of
figures in chalk. These were milk
%'scores," or '.shots." He Immediately
asked for a piece Of chalk, and then,
kneeling on the floor, he wrote out con-
cisely upon the smooth hearthstone the
last will and testament of the dying man.
The farmer subsequently died. The
hcarthstone will vas sent to the princi-
pal registry in London with special
affidavit. and was duly proved, the will
being deposited in the achiyes of the
registry. may mention that the law
does not state upon what substance Or
with what instrument q will must be
written.
There was once a plain, outspoken
Judge who, addressing the jury. said:
Gentlemen of the jury, in this case the
counsel on both sides are unintelligent;
the witnesses on both sides are incrcdi-
bic, and the plaintiff and defendant are
both such bad characters that to me it
is indifferent which way you give your
verdict
1t was once reported to the notorious
Judge Jetlries that the prince of Orange
was on the point of entering the coun-
try, and that he was already preparing
a manifesto as to his inducements and
objects in so doing. pray, my lord
chief JUSTICE said a gentleman pres
ent, what do you think will De the
head of this manifcsto?" mine will be
one" he grimly replied.
An undouted alibi was some time ago
successfully proved in an American
court as follows:
"And you say you are innocent of
the charge of stealing this rooster from
Mr.. Jones" queried the Judge.
Yes, sir, l am innocent-as innocent
as a child"
You are confident you did not steal
the rooster from Mr.. Jones2n
Yes, sir; and can prove it."
"How can you prove it?'
lean prove that l didn't steal Mr..
Jones rooster, judge, because l stole
two hens from Mr.. Graston the anne
night, and Jones lives five miles from
Graston's.n
The proof is conclusive" said the
judge; discharge the prisoner
LII said that the other day a client
received the following billfrom his law
yer: Attending and asking you how
you did, 6s, Sd; attending you on the
pier, when you desired me to look
through apiece of smoked glass, Is, Sd.
looking through The same IS, 3d.; rub
bing my eye, which watcred, 13s. 4d.
attending at luncheon, when you prais-
cd the sandwiches and asked me to par
take thereof, 6s, 3d. consulting and