Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-26
LARRY JERomE's LATEST.
He Arouse. Unquenchable Wrath by Pro
posing n Monument TO His Uncle.


The newest and best story current abost
the clubs is this, rs geographically report
ed from Colonel Thomas Pinckney Ochll-
trees narration of it:
Scene. a room in Chamberlain's reStaIl-
rant, Washington time ; o'clock a. H.
drdHiGtiS pCrS0IIT: Larry Jerome and a
nrt-eatlng colonel of the ante bGIlum stripe,
who may be called Colonel Carter. lie
OWNS. when sober, dilapidated house in
Virginia, and two SCraggy dogs; when in
his cups his possessions magnify themselves
int" mythical mansion. palatial appurte-
ma Ices, and some of the finest blOOded
'ck in America, including several packs
OF fox hounds. At table. with his pOrtly
form made p0rtlier by something stronger
than port. sat Mr.. jerome into him en-
ters Colonel Carter, not Gbrieus but el,ri-
rSltS. as Walter Scott hath it. that is, in the
bodily condition when his affluence has over
,'ome his poverty. In this elevated state the
colonel became voluble. talked of his pos
sessions. his stables. his kennels, and tn,
rest; passed Ia graver subjects. and wound IN
with thunderouS eIoquence of fire and wal
and blood.
I'm withyou, colonel, said Larry, when
the gallant speaker had PAUSED moment
for breath: I'm with you in sympathy ant
feeling Ia the uttermOSt cookie of my heart
\ on see before you perhaps the greatest in
tividual sufferer Of the late dreadful fratri-
'idal war -Four of my sons were immo-
lated on the altar Of their country. NJ
regiment was the first tO march through
Baltimore Ia the front. In the very frSl
Engagement five hundred of my gallant
command. which numbered Only eigh;
hundred. fell on the field. | received clever
wounds myself. But now that | have met
1 man OF your noble sentiments. colonel, !
feel that | have discovered one who was il
JhoSe disastrous times a fOeman worthy q
my steel. | honor you. sir. and seize thi,
occasion to extend my hand in token Oi
reconciliation. Shake. colonel: shake hand
over the bloOOdy chaSm. All, this is ndee,
l sacred moment. And. now | think of it.
sir, what pity the great occasion soon I,
occur al Richmond q allude 10 the unveil-
ing of the statue to General Lee) could no
be made a double event. Ii upon tina
lay another statue could only be erected! l.
IN that memorable day statue could only
W raised at the same moment to my hon
Ored uncle
WHO was your uncle, sir" inquired
Colonel Carter, breathlessly
Brown"
Brown? Brown? What Brown >"
why, John Brown. Dear old John
Brown, of OSsawatOmie. You know"
John Brown. Sir. Do you dare talk
of that d-d old ScOundrel, sir, TO me? II,
rad a monument rir-a Scaffold, Sir-th,
only monument that he ever deserved, sir
Don't speak of my poor, dear uncle in
that manner. colonel" said Mr. Jerome.
drawing a handkerchief from his pocket.
What did he ever do to you that YOU
should use such language to his afflicted
nephew >" Here the SobS became louder
and tears rained down the furrOwed cheeks
Of the nephew of his umcle.) My uncle
raised me. sir; he loved me, colonel. Twas
his favOrite nephew tried"
Then the Colonel became ungOvernable.
1t required the strength of the united com
pany to hold him. lie SwOre he would
carve the nephew of that Internal old scoun-
drel, Brown, into mincemeat. He raved.
he cried. he SwOre; he was finally carried
away kicking. Then Larry dried his tears.
took one more nightcap and went to bed.