Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-06-17
4 DARK MYSTERY.


The Extraordinary Incidents Of . TrfR On
Lake Michigan.
We had no sooner left Petoskey than
something got into the old steamboat.
She began to bow and duck and kick up
and perform in such queer manner
that we held a meeting and appointed
committee to wait on the captain and
ask for information. The committee
never returned. Whether the captain
threw 'em overheard, or they got tired
out and lay down under the piano to
rest we never knew.
Pretty soon after that Lake Michigan
began to act like born fool. 1t would
rear up in front and kick up behind,
and such horse-play on the part of
lake fifteen thousand or twenty thous-
another meeting, but as we failed to
fasten the responsibility on any particu-
lar person no resolutions were passed.
I have always been sorry we didn't lay
it to Christopher Columbus and give his
memory hail Columbia.
Half an hour after being out it SEEM
ed as if some one ought to go to the
captain and ask him if there was any
particular object in the boat behaving
in such a manner. A man on the
wharf might be greatly amused to see .
steamboat trying. to stand on its head.
but a man aboard of her takes it more
! seriously. There was a fat woman
from Chicago among us who insisted
that it was altogether irregular and be-
yond endurance, and she started out to
tell the Captain. The next time l saw
her she Law under one of the tables, her
head damned into basket of buckle
berries and her feet kicking the ribs OF
dying young man.
Some folks might think it made a
difference to passenger which end the
boat stood on, but we really couldn
see any. 1t was when she rolled from
side to side that we felt relief. During
these rolls we were pretty sure OF bring
ing up against sofa instead of piano,
and we could feel the difference right of.
We We're very friendly for mixed.
crowd. There were some Chicago aris-
tocrats aboard, but they went with
the rest and made no objections.
I saw lumberman worth million
dollars pitch head-first under table in
the society of a half-breed Indian worth.
less than two dollars, and he never
raised an objection when the Indian
came out on top. The friendly spirit
cropped out IN suggestions. We sug-
gested lemons. peppermint, sassafras,
ammonia, eamphor and various other
things, and man who had pint OF
cod-Iiver oil in his sachel generously
offered to divide with the assemblage:
We passed resolution of thanks, but
he had gone to rest before he could be
notified.
There were several things / wanted to
speak to the captain about, but for some
| reason he held aloof from me. l wanted
| to ask:
l. Twill we ever reach port?
2 '.How deep is this part OF the
Iakee
5. s.Don't you think you could stand
| three months on dry land?
f. '.Why not try castor oil? III
| donate four-ounce bottle.
| 5. lis sucking the head of a cane any
better than biting the leg of table?
6. '.Do you think the conduct of this
boat is guided by honorable motivesp
| Z. "Whv not give fellow his choice
between cholera and seasickness2"
AS 1 said, the captain held aloof but
| he was serene in the presence of such as
| hunted him and asked him to head the
| old boat for the bottom and end the un-
certainty. He acted as unconcerned a.
| if we were heathens.
After about an hour the few of us who
still sat up drew closer together, and a
feeling of confidence was manifest.
Each wanted to unbosom himself to the
others We owned up to stealing hens.
calves, sheep and horses-to robbing
stores, banks and churches-to murder
ing droxers and tin peddlers and book
agents.
We all felt better for these comics
SONS. and as we buckled on life-pre.
servers and shook hands and whispered
our sad farewells the hour was inn
pressive.
Whether we went down or got to
land i'm safety / have never been able to
remember. and have never met one OF
the passengers who would come square
" out and inform of the truth OF the
matter. Whenever I have accidentally
run across one he has seemed to avoid
me as if was man to be stunned
N. Quad, in Detroit Free Press.