Smyrna times., 1886-08-11
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

If silver keeps on declining in price,
the counterfeit silver dollars will come
to command premium.
You can prevent milk from sOuring
in thunder storm by drinking it just
before the storm begins.
The coal dealeN are now reminding
house holders that in times of heat
they should prepare to be cOal-ed.
The area sown in wheat in Manitoba
this year is 100000 acres, which. it is
estimated, will produce 11,25O,OOO
bushels ofgrain.
It cost but little to live according to
the demands of nature; the main ex-
pense is living according to the require
ments of fashion
The increase in the production of
iron and steel in the United States is
an encouraging indication of returning
business prosperity.
The farms of America equal the en-
tire Territory of the United Kingdom,
France, Belgium, Germany, Austria,
Hungary and Portugal.
The Chicago Anarchists have come
to the conclusion that their profession
does not pay They are almost desper-
ate enough to work for a living.
"Why does a pug turn up his nose? ?"
inquiries an exchange Because the
nose can't turn up the pug. # this
isn't the reason we can't help it.
Representative Patrick A. Collins, of
Massachusetts, who has visited Salt
City, says there are no Irish among the
MOrmOns, and few, if any, Scotch
There is a bear at Denmark, Me-,
that eats dogs. Every well-regulated
city and town should have vigorous,
capable bear with just such an appetite.
Never spread an i'll report ..bOut
your neighbor until you know positive
ly that it strue; and don't do it then
if he is a good deal bigger than you are.
The reason so many men relapse into
drunkenness again after temporary
reformation is because they at
tract so much less attention sober than
when drunk. Their vanity is touched.
"A barrel wouldn't be sufficient to
carry you over Niagara" said the con-
ductOr to man who was trying to
sprawl himself over four seats in a
crowded passenger car. "You would
need a hogshead."
Lucky" Cleveland, everything
plays into his hands Tilden hated
him, Hendricks didn't love him, John
Kelly fought him, Hubert o. Thomp-
son would have knitted him, and war
with Mexico would infallibly renomi-
nate himl
when a man takes two cigars from
his pocket, puts one in his mouth and
offers You the other, with the infOFma-
tiOn that they are two for a quarter, y
you can generally make up your mind
that he is going to smoke the twenty
cent one.
General John c. Fremont, assisted
by his wife is writing the history of his
life. The story of the Generals career
will comprise two large volumes of 600
pages each. The first volume is
already in type and will appear in
September.
Novelist w. d. Howels says he
wouldn't touch ZOla's material with a
ten-fOOt pole. Imagine a Boston ''lit-
cry" man with a ten-foOt pole in his
hands He'd be sure to soil his gloves,
unless he polished up the pole for a
walking stick.
Several Philadelphians are among
the Clergymen on Wheels who are
making a bicycle tour up the Hudson.
We adIure them to write an exact ac-
count of their trip when they return,
with shorthand reports Of what was
said at each header"
At Boston porcelain eggs are made
and filled with whiskey, to be sold at
Newport and Narragansett Pier, where
liquor selling is prohibited Guests at
hotels there are fond OF these eggs,
which are eaten raw with little sugar
and water to suit the taste.