St. Paul daily globe., 1886-01-10

tdIReu easy lnll8 10 Icll llch apart "ACA
they are together
For instance. a fellow gets up in the
morning and starts out 10 get sumthin' TO
eat lie runs across q woman who says
You split half a cord of wood that's in
my back yard and I'll give you your break
fast" He splits the wood and gifts his
breakfast Now when he thinks of them
separately he don't know whether his sue
cess in gittin' breakfast was due more TO
the circumstance of his finding woman
who happened to have a half cord Of
unsplit wood in her back yard or 10 the fact
that he actually split the wood, but
when he gifts down to business and thinks
of the breakfast and how he happened TO
win il he fOrgits all about the circumstance
and the woman, and unanimously agrees
that II he hadn't split the wood, the circum-
stance that it happened TO be re-
clining In the back yard OF a
woman who he happened to run across,
wouldn't have made any difference with the
length and breadth of his appetite at II
o'clock IN.
The personal effort put forth in rending
that half cord of wood asunder, was what
brought the edibles to the front
Mr.. President, believe that personal ef-
fort has the most to do with success in life,
if man don't eat he will starve to death,
and If be starves to death his show for sue
cess in life is d-n slim"
''OIderp yelled the president. ''You
will remember that profanity is barred out
of this society and he will confine himself
to the facts in the case or be fired out by
the sergeant-at-arms."
''Now that the president has apologiZed
for me" continued RaZOO, ~ will take up
the thread OF my argument. AS 1 tefOre
remarked, ii a man staTyes to death, his
show for success in life is da-, excuse me,
| aint worth da-. heml aint worth q, a,
er, err. Mr.. President could git you to
say damn for me? its the only word that
will just exactly express my idea at this
particular point"
IF there Is no objection" said the presi-
dent. sit will be taken as the sense of the
meeting that the word damn be used on this
occasion" a.
No objection was made and RazOo con-
tinued: Now. of course. we're all in IA
yor of being successful in life and of course
we're all in favor of circumstances Citing
us there. Nobody with good horse sense is
in favor Of personal effort, but it is q very
necessary nuisance.
1T can't be last in the shuttle, If a fel-
low expects 10 hold winning hand.
mo man can climb ladder without per-
sonal effort, and he has to use just as much
in climbing the ladder Of success as any
other ladder.
mo business man can collect bill these
days without putting forth considerable
personal effort, and ii he don't collect his
bills he don't amount TO much as q we'll
regulated success.
mo man can smoke cigaret without
personal effort, and yet his success in life
depends on his smoking them regularly.
IAN actress can't get divorce without
personal effort, and her success depends on
the number of divorces that she manages TO
pick up.
''Mr. President, could go on enumerat-
ing points to substantiate my side of the
question until morning, but l find that 1
have spoken ten minutes now, and as that
is all the time allowed, l will leave tine
question with my opponent, who, 1 hope,
will treat his side of the question as fairly
and with as much clearness as / have mine. -
[Applause.
Razoo took his seat with a smile on his
face that indicated confidence of winning
the question.
Omaha Bob will now take the floor. +"