The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1886-02-25
. Asabbath Service.

Asabbath Service.
What blessed privilege is ours, one
day in seven, to lay aside our cares and
our numerous troubles, and to rest our
weary minds and our tired bodies in
contemplation Of the ideal perfectness
ut which we all of us aim! Here is
congregation just emerging from
the sanctuary.
'Thank the Lord we've got out where
we can bresthe!'' exclaimed Mrs.
Phleshiphat, who is a lady of bounti-
full proportions. ''Thank the Lord
we've got out where we can breathe!
I really thought we should suficate.
1t was insuferably stuffy. Wonder
why the sexton thinks last year atmos-
phere so much superior to the present
season 8 vintage! If were boy, really
I believe Id break two or three vim
dows, I'd do something, at any rate,
to let that poor, imprisoned air out and
little fresh air in.''
"And i! was so sleepy?' that the VOL
unteer observation of Mrs. M0nfeus;
l could not keep my eyes open for all l
could do. Don't you think Mr.. Proof
text is getting tearfully dull?"
"Awful''
''Did you see that horid bonnet
Sarah Somes had On?'' asked Mary
Maize.
"A perfect fright, wasn't it?' was
the questionable form in which Jenny
Jones expressed her opinion.
''Made over?''
II should hope so.''
$50 should 1. 1 should hate to think
any milliner guilty of such taste"
Mamma said little miss, trudg-
ing by her mothers dress, 'Johny was
pinching me all meeting time.''
''Johny, how could you!"
well, what's TELLER goin' to do,
sittin' there doin' nothin' for more n
an hour? Besides Lii begun it,
Il didn't
II say you did. Didn't you pull NV
hair, 1 d like to know?'
Il only pulled it easy
DO you call that easy?'
''Baoy!'
"ChildreD!-What an awfully long
prayer Mr.. Prooftext made. l thought
he would never get through
II know it, replied Mrs. Smith. to
whom this last remark was made; He
seems to be getting worse and worse.
BY the way did you notice old Gerri-
ton and Liza Periwinkle?''
"Notice them! l guess 1 did!
couldn't keep my eyes off of them.
AwfullY sweet on each other, ain t
they?'
''And his wife has only been dead
six months or 500
''Disgraceful, amt it? When are
you coming to see me?'
'Oh, don't know. I've got 50
much to do, you know, l don't get
any time to 90 anywhere. Why, there s
Mrs. Chatterton over there. l sup.
pose l must speak to her,
II hope to gracious she won't see
me, the hateful thing!'
Il guess you think as much of her
as do; but if don speak to her I'll
never hear the last of it. Gooa-hy.'
Charley, who was that girl you
were MASKING all church time?' asked
Tom.
''That is girl 1 met at the dance
last winter. Is she not daisy?''
''Not bad. How did the game come
out yestcrday?''
"As usual. The Bostons got goose
egged. Have a cigarette?''
"Well!'' exclaimed Clara, ''what do
you think of the new tenor? I think
he's just splendid! What heavenly
mustache!'
"And what fool that Miss Sprig-
gin made of herself! She was gawking
at him all the time they were singing,
instead of looking at her notes. How
ever, l don't suppose she can sing much
worse even when she does try to follow
the music. Wonder what they keep
her in the choir for?''
''Sure enough! Or Mr.. Basscleft
either. Why he's actually getting
bald. And mercy! how he sq1ints!
''Hullo! There that Cheever fellow. ,;
'What, that ninny who's all the
time staring at the girls? HIM I don't
want to see him. III turn down here;
good-by.'
"Guess she need not worry about
his staring at her," soliloquizes Nell,
as her dear friend disappears round
the corner. "old jealousy!'
And, so it goes. Really, what set
of empty-headed, venomous creatures
we should be were it not for the Sab.
bath service!