The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10

ID And gave oil. Plumb soft soap every day;
But they cant make me believe they do il for love
For the Press isn't built in that way.
II strikes me, however, Mr.. Editor the
Press perperrates new one" In fact, II
is rather the best have seen. Mcintosh
says;
After hearing him Col. Plumb talk,
and scanning his manly and dignified and
commanding presence, will the republi.
cans OF VIII county listen to the SANDER.
Gus and mendacious unsupported accuse.
tions of q few disgruntled editors, who
have failed to "put the handkerchief of phil
osophy to the sore eye Of deteat"'
l have used the italics. l think the
phrases deserve them. 1t isn't every com.
mon country editor, Judge, from speci.
mems round about me, who can make so
many syllables out of that expressive old
Roman derlvative, stipend. 1t takes head
on fellow to do 1t, now WEAKLY" But
Nc. is no blooming chump, and has more
sore eyes than Argus son of Arestor.
+ I I
The Press editorial mot Fair Treat
ment," seems to have struck Col. Plumb as
being quite a fine production. Your
readers should understand that, in the view
Of the Press, in this article, Washington,
Franklin, Wilberforce, ct id Onane genus,
are quite commonplace people when
standing in line with Col. Plumb
1t is alleged the janitor, clearing the
halls of Congress, found among the debris
of quiet session, when the Colonel did
not find it impossible to be there, an un-
finished epistle under the desk of the dis.
tinguished member from this district,
somewhat to this tenor:
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES,,
WASHINGTON, July
Mn dear Mr.. Mcintosh Your editorial,
"Not Fair Treatment" was hustler.
do not use slang in my letters designed to
surreptitiously fall into the hands of my
editors for publication without my consent,
but you will appreciate its expressivenes y.
may say it is daisy. What pity that
Vesica, running my organ at Ottawa, can't
be knocked on the head and have his brain
turned over. He might be able then to
write something besides a draft. If he
could repress his pugilistic procllvlties,
give them rest on my circulation there,
and what a shoel of fellow he is, and say
something to the point, might realize on
that investment; but as it is, for an I'M
adulterated and thorough land eXpensive)
double cared ass he takes the cold biscuit.
He's beastly vulgar fellow, too; and it's
annoying to think of such fellow when
get in among the big wigs at a seance here
positively beastly But he has neither
good sense nor poetry In his soul. l
like that handkerchief of philosophy"
racket, which you use so freely this week.
It's good-very good. Your literary read.
ers will catch on to that in good shape.
But don't you think you drew it little
stronghold character" of mine, mean?
don't know but that it reads all right-in
fact, it does; but fear, between you and
me, the masses may have an attack of the
cholera morbus if you give it to them in
too strong doses. Why not run It along
through several editorials and cover the
ground in that way? Try the homeopathic
treatment. Shakespeare never repeats,
you know; and it's good idea. When l
was quartermaster, too, found the boys
didn't do so we'll on one kind of rations for
months at time. think also the manly
and dignifed and commanding presence"
was somewhat daring, and apt to provoke
comparisons, you know. l have already
been compared to JOS Sedley, of Vanity
Fair" believe, as to shape" and It's just
like those ultra goody- goody and unappre-
ciative manger- guarders in Peru and York
vile to run the comparison to mental one,
also.
Cll think you might work up into some
thing good that puff l had put into the
Capital. 1t cost a deuced big price, but
I don't mind the expense if can just
boom the labor business a little more. The
oleomargarine bill and that wretched Hen
nepin business didn't seem to catch on;
and nay unfortunate absence" CD from
my seat when the arbitration bill came to
a vote, may put me in bad light. You
must keep the Fire, Press out of that. This
labor business is all bosh, you know. but il
is Just the stuff to catch the populace
around about Joliet, Streator, La Sale and
Braidwood, and you can't work it too
strong. As to that affidavit you make, it
But here the MSS. breaks off, and the
rest cannot be conjectured. get this by
telephone from Washington, from the first
assistant janitor, and is doubtless autLen-
tic, though hardly part of his Complete
Letter Writer" which the Colonel has been
publishing, on the installmer-plan, as he
remarks, to be surreptitiously given to the
public by his admirers. EACUS.