New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1886-05-05
NEW STYLES OF DELIRIUM.
Artists in Fire Water Find More
Mischief Still.

Mischief Still.
There is one thing in America that
is moving onward with stride equal
to that of Powhattan as he reached for
Mr.. Smith and tried to blow off his
head with a club. This thing is the
great American drink industry. When
the Pilgrim fathers were discovered by
Plymouth rock there was no deputation
of citizens from the stock-yards to claw
over their baggage and absorb the lin
ing of their contents, no brass bands,
no drinks To-day the drink compound
er lies awake while the police force is
wrapped in slumber ana dislocates his
brains making the designs for new de-
coctions.
The latest drinks are marvels of cpl
curean delight, sanitary precautions,
and other ingredients. The first COM
pound on the list turned down behind
the necktie of society is the chloride
of lime cocktail. This is designed to
prevent smallpox. It is real social
compound, because apt to create SEN
sation in upper circles, although the
real sensation is dispersed with a liber-
al hand clear through mans interior
economy. The drink inspires man to
have the fire department come out and
play on him, or start out as a living
panorama of the St. Johns fire.
Next is the ssWild Horse of Tartarv."
This is built of tar water and fire, cut
into strips. The bartender puts on a
/! pair Of cast-iron mittens when mixing
this, and it is served in crucible.
Artists take this. If paint-destroyer
has an idea of painting Alpine scenery
this drink helps develop the idea A
few days ago local artist painted
picture while under the influence of
this beverage. 1t represented cham
DIS hunt. Standing on what looked like
pink cheese was an object, looking
like woolly steet-car. A fierce pair
Of Whiskers was seen in the suburbs,
pointing rake handle at the street.
car. Friends kindly explained that the
cheese was a mountain glistening in
the sunrise, the street-car chamois,
and the whiskers hunter reaching for
the mountain goat with gun.
The Japanese cocktail is another
liquid attack of spinal meningitis. 1t
is loaded with knock-kneed mental
ceramics, and is apt to make man
throw stones at his grandfather. The
sleek-looking gentlemen behind bars
who deal out tickets in disguise for the
inebriate asylums claim that this last
compound comes direct from Japan by
special electric light wire. Whether it
comes or not it gets there, and the man
who takes it falls out of bed in the
morning with his mouth tasting like a
Fenian campaign.
There are other delightful decoctions
now in circulation, but which are only
seen in the distance wearing their grip
sacks checked for the local wards.
1t WOULD solve the question of Rus
sian politics if some of the new drinks.
with their full lines of fittings, could
be served to the czar. Instead of his
loving subjects trying to get the prize
offered by the country newspapers for
the man who will scatter him all over
Russia and cause numerous funerals
over cigar-boxes, they could give him
one of these drinks. Itwould settle the
| question, at least it would settle him
SO his family would be sure to know
where he was nights. Minneapolis
! Tribune.