Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-08-21
s.. new THEY GO TO SLEEP.
a Midnight Scene in Which James an
wife Cnnai6er Matters

Wife Consider Matters.
There is an article going the rounds en-
| titled = How the Girls go to Sleep" The
manner in which they go to sleep, accord
ing to the article, can't hold candle to the
way married woman goes to sleep. In
stead of thinking what she should have
attended to before going to bed, she thinks
| of it afterward. While she is revolving
| these matters in her mind, and while
snugly tucked up in bed, the old man is
/ scratching his legs in front of the fire and
wondering how he will pay the next
months rent. Suddenly she exclaims !:
James, did you lock the door ?"
(Which door," says James.
"The cellar door," says she.
mo" says James.
Well, YOU had better 90 down and lock
it, for heard some one in the back yard
last night"
Accordingly James paddles down the
stairs and locks the door About the time
James returns and is going TO bed she re-
marks:
Did you shut the stair door,"
No" SAYS James.
well, if it is not shut the cat will get
| up into the chamber
Let her come up, them" says James,
| ill-naturedly.
4 My EDOullcSS, no ItluIueu Ills " llt ,
she'd suck the baby breath"
Then James paddles downstairs again
and steps on q tack and closes the stair
door and curses the cat, and returns to the
| bedroom. Just as he begins TO climb into
his couch his wife observes: II forgot to
bring up some water; suppose you bring
up some in the big tin
| And so James, with muttered curse,
goes down into the dark kitchen and falls
over chair, and rasps all the tinware off
the wall in search Of the big tin, and
then Jerks the stair door open and bowls
Where the deuce are the matches?'
She gives him minute direction where
to lind the matches, and adds that she
| would rather go and get the water herself
| than have the whole ncighborhood raised
! about it. After which James finds the
matches, procures the water and comes up
stairs and plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says: James, let's
have an understanding about money mat
ters Now, next week I've got to pay"
IL don't know what you have to pay, and
don't care !" shouts James, as he lurChes
around and jams his face against the wall !;
all 1 want is sleep"
THAT'S all very we'll for You" snaps his
wife, as she pulls the covers viciously ;
you never think of the worry and trouble
| have. And there is Araminta, who, be-
lieve, is taking the measles"
" Let her take EN- says James.
Hereupon, she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James is falling into gen.
tie doze she punches him in the ribs with
her elbow, and says: Did you hear that
scandal about Mrs. Jones?"
Where" says James, sleepily.
why, Mrs. Jones"
Where p inquiries James.
" | declare" said his wife, you are get
ting more stupid every day. You know
Mrs Jones thai lives at No. 81? Well, day
before yesterday Susan Smith told Mrs.
ompson that Sam. Barker had said that
Mrs. Jones'"
Here she paused and listened. James is
snoring in profound slumber. With a
snort Of rage she pulls all the covers off Of
him, wraps up in them, and lays awake
until . o'clock in the morning, thinking
how badly used she is. And that is the
way the married woman goes to sleep
Cincinnati EaquireT