The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1886-10-21
THEY COME HIGH.
The Price Paid by an Excltable Man for
Grand Bed-Bug Hunt.


Grand Bed-Bug Hunt.
.'How potent for COOL or evil are
the little things OF this life and this
world" moralized gentleman whose
business takes him past the post-oflice
corner several times each day.
CEng-g-g!
s. 20, you need not ring your chest
nut bell on me. The sentim, mt has a
nutty flavor, know, but the applica-
ton is entirely original. Most people
believe that all small things are tribes,
and there's where big error creeps
into their calculations. 'Creeps.
That's just the word / was cropping
around after to express my application.
l refer to bed-bugs, They are small
things, but no trifes. They are more
expensive, weight for weight, than
first-water diamonds"
Had to buy q new bedstead and sell
the old one to secondhand dealer,
ehp"
IF that was all wouldn't mention
it. No, sir, ono little tramping, med
dlesome bed-bug has just cost me more
than hotel clerks headlight is worth.
I'll tell you what the parasitical little
wretch did to me. The first thing he
did to me was to gallop up and down
nv back and wake me up. l made a
grab, or rather frenzied series of
grabs, for him, but wear a perforated
undershirt, and the way he wove in
and out through the meshes nullitiod
all the grabbing ! was capable of
One would imagine that when a
healthy. muscular man, weighing one
hundred and sixty pounds, assaults a
poor, lonely insect, an immediate and
hurried retreat would be made by the
party of the second part, but this WASH I
that kind of bug. He found an i'm
pregnable position up between my
shoulders and commenced crocheting
my uudershirt as fit was fun. Twist
ing my right arm over behind my ear |
dealt vicious and resounding thumps
as far down my back as could reach.
Then retreated in disorder and nearly
dislocated my left arm in making a
sortie from the opposite direction.
".What in the world are you aboutP
inquired my wife in sweet and mellow
tones that she brought with her from
Vermont, the drumming having dis
turbed her slumbers.
i" Trying to smash (thump) an in
fernal bed,bug (thump), and l can't
(thump) reach him.
a. Three strikes, outr shouted my
wife, laughing.
..Hang bed-bugs, and baseball and
all other pestsn responded ], and as
soon as commenced to talk excitedly
that bug mizzled as il he had been an
umpire in Kansas City.
"After my wife got throughlaughing,
she said she would have the bed over
hauled and reduce its census next day,
! was not present at the investigation,
but / have no doubt that it was
thorough, for when l went home the
next day to dinner, there was none;
wife said she and the girl had been too
busy, and don't think she lied about
it, In the back yard l found several
sections Of discouraged and disjointed
bedstead. One leg was broken, the
head-board was split, the varnish had
mostly been turned white with boiling
water, and its breath smelt of soap
suds and turpentine. The springs
looked as if the Marquis of Queens
berry had got mad at them; the mat
tress had been .bested in an encounter
with nail or hook; the children had
been betting each other with the pill
lows until they looked as if they were
moulting, and the carpet was strug-
Cling to overthrow the alley fence.
Twelve looked every where for
that bug and cant find him. Are you
sure you felt oner proclaimed and in
quired my wife.
"Was sure felt one?" Think of
that for question!
"Well, my wife remarked that mas
much as the bug might be hidden in
the wallpaper or in crack of the
floor, it would be well to repaint and
repaper the room, and | weakly con.
sented. Once the painters and paper
hangers were inside the house, every
carpet came up, and for fortnight !
slept in the kitchen beside the cook
stove. paid the bill this morning
three hundred and twenty-five dollars.
1.-The bug? o, he escaped. DC
f.1.y Lr.oa D,.aeo