The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-08-28
SOME SMILES.
They Show That Language Sometimes is a
Slippery Thing to Deal With.

| Slippery Thing to Deal With.
"The child of the past and the parent
of the future" is not an unhappy smile
for the-present. Happiness has been
likened to ghost; all talk about it,
but few, if any, have ever seen it.
Ambitions ladder rests against star,
remarks clever writer, who also tells
us that proverb is a short truth sand
wiched between wit and wisdom.
Eloquence is coat of many colors
judiciously blended. No one thing
will make a man eloquent. Flattery
has been termed kind of bad money
to which our vanity gives currency.
Society, like shaded silk, must be viewed
in all situations, or its colors will de-
ceive us. Kindness is the golden chain
by which society is bound together,
and charity is an angel breathing on
riches, while graves have been poetic
ally called the footsteps of angels.
Language is slippery thing to deal
with, as some may find when selecting
their SMILES. Says writer: "Speak
of mans marble brow, and he will
glow with conscious pride; but allude
to his wooden head, and he is mad in u
minute" The young lecturers
"similes were gathered in a heap"
when he expressed the whole body of
! his argument on deceit i'll the follow
ing: 80, my brethren, the snowiest
shirt-front may conceal an aching
bosom, and the stitfest of all collars en-
circle throat that has many bitter
pill to swallow"
Plagiarists are species of purloiners
who fitch the fruit that others have
gathered, and then throw away or at
tempt to destroy the basket.
1t has been truly said that the abili-
ties of man must fall short on one side
or another, like too scanty blanket
when you are in bed; if you pull it up
on your shoulders you will leave your
feet bare; if YOU thrust it down on
your feetyour shoulders are uncovered.
The man, we are told, who has not any
thing to boast of but his illustrious an
cestors, is like a potato-the only good
belonging to him being under ground.
The man at dinner in evening dress
has been likened to a conundrum; you
can't tell whether he is a waiter or y
guest. A Yankee, describing a lean
opponent, said: That man doesn't
amount to sum in arithmetic; add
him up, and there's nothing to carry"
An American critic, in reviewing q
poem, said: THE rythm sounds like
turnips rolling over barn floor, while
some lines appear to have been
measured with yard-stick. and others
with a ten-foot pole"
An amusing Illustration was given by
parent when asked by his boy, ''What
is understood by experimental and nat
ural philosophy" The answer was;
IF any one wants to borrow money,
that is experimental philosophy. If
the other man knocks him down, that
is natural philosophy" Curious and
comical illustrations seem natural to
many children. A little girl suffering
from humps declared she felt as if a
headache had slipped down into her
neck. Mamma" said another young
ster, alluding to man whose neck was
a series of great rolls of flesh, THAT
mans got double chin on the back Of
his neck" A little three-year old, in
admiring her baby brother, is said to
have exclaimed: 'He's got q boiled
head, like papa"
Talking of curious SMILES, among
the southern languages of India is the
Teloogoo or Telinga, so rough in pro-
nuuciation that a traveller of the ma
ton, speaking it before ruler of Box
hara, admitted that the sound resem-
bled "the tossing of a lot of pebbles in
a sack" A smile for scarlet stockings
is fire-hose; laughter is the sound you
hear when your hat blows off; and try
ing to do business without advertising
is said to be ''like winking at q
girl in the dark" An unpoetical
Yankee has described ladies lips
as the glowing gateway of beans,
pork, sauerkraut and potatoes. This
would provoke Marryat's exclamation
of, "Such a metaphor l never met
pfore." Much more complimentary
was the old darkey's neat reply to a
beautiful young lady whom he offered
to lift over the gutter and who insisted
she was too heavy. ''Lor,' Missy"
said he, "I Sc used to lifting barrels of
sugar" Wit from mans mouth is
like mouse in Il hole; you may watch
the hole all day and no mouse come
out; by and by, when no one is looking
for it, out pops the mouse and streams
across the parlor.
Marrying woman for money, says
a philosopher. is very much like setting
a rat-trap and batting it with your own
finger.
An American writer says: "a man
with one idea puts me in mind of an
old goose trying to hatch out a paving
stone" An editors simile of mans
career is summed up in the lines
''Man's vapor, full of woes; starts q
paper, up he goes
We all recollect how the Bath waters
were associated in Weller's mind with
the ''flavor of warm fiat-irons." The
humorist who created that character
was often reminded of a printer
parentheses by the appearance of a
bow-legged child; and the elongated
pupils of II cats eyes before a bright
light were likened by him to "twC
notes of admiration. - Chambers
Journal.
How They Must Have Suffered.
An incident occurred at the time Of
my rescue which has never been il