Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-29
BRIGHT BITS.

IN 100000 years not drop of water will
remain on the surface of the earth.-R. 4
Pr cto~. The outlook for the ProhIbitionists
grows gloomier every year Life.
LUCKY .-"Whar you git dat seal skinner,
Rastus?"
"Gl5ng, chile! / wuz head waiter In de
s'loon whar McQuade's heelers went ter con-
grashuale one anudder aftah de jury diea-
It'd Bits.
"WHAT kept you so late last night, Archi-
baldT" demanded Mrs. spotcash. '"rakin'
inventory" replied Spotcash II knowed it,"
she replied. ''Smelled il on your breath the
minute you came in. You'll keep on takin' it
till you'll get In the lock-up and disgrace
your family. and then hope you'll be salts
ted ."-Ohica9o Led0er
'sToU tell everything you. know. don't
youg' sad Mrs. B. to Mrs. A., a garrulous
neIghbor
Indeed. 1 DON'T" replied Mrs. A. with
some show of asperity. II can keep secret
as well as anyone: it was only yesterday that
Mr.. A. told me that 1t was feared Mr.. II. was
short in his accounts, and haven't mentioned
1t to soul, and | don't intend to, either
lid Bits.
FLATBUsH walked home with the minister
after service last Sunday. and the latter COM
blamed OF exhaustion. Tired out, eh?" SAID
Flatbush.
Yes" sigheu the reverend, completely
done up mentally and physically; actually
strained my back In getting up this mornings
sermon"
'Oh," said Flatbush musingly, "you must
be very near the bottom of the barrel!'' There
is a GOODNESS between them now that furnace
heat cannot disslpate.-Cle0e1dnd Sun.
A NEW YORKER who hap ened to be in
Boston for day availed himself of the oppor-
tunity to make social call, He was shown
into the parlor. and while waiting there a
nurse entered with little baby in her arms.
.'ltty, blity, Jootsey. wootsey," said the New
Yorker, addressing his conversation to the
A nc
Juncture the child set up howl that made a
s eel engraving of Emerson rattle against the
wall. PPM afraid she doesn't understand
you, sir, !" remarked the nufse.-Chica0o Nea0s.
TaEY had been to see Bishop. She was a
bright. sharp girl. He was tender and beau
tlf1i dude. After the entertainment he was
boring her with an attempted explanation.
Il don't quite understand" she said when he
stopped talking minute to rest his brain.
Jaw" he continued, Il am sure can ex-
PLAIN it; now: for instance, just imagine am
thinking"
81 could hardly imagine that, you know. -
she interrupted, so pieasantly and innocent
ly that the young man changed the subject
WGshington Critic.
"PHwAT the diviI is all this talk about that
New York Girrul thew call the Goddess ay
Liberty" asked Mrs. O'Rafferty of her next
Il suppose it's wan av those Professional
beauties that come over here. Mrs. O'Raf-
ferty."
49, al tucf MAKE utT d SOun6SS, bD6 urSL
thing she knows that GlbhardG fellow will be
after her the same as he was after that Lang
try woman: | declare to gracious, scandal
takes better in this country than anythln'
use. "-Kenttscky State Journal.
PUBLISHER ito care-worn man)-What can
| do for your
Man with a sighl-I want a situation.
Would like to do humorous work for some of
your publications.
Publisher-Haye you ever done any humor-
Gus work2
Man-Oh! yes; used to furnish a great
deal OF humorous matter for Harper's Bazaar.
Publisher (brightening)-Oh! you did!
wy, my dear sir, want you. | am getting
no new arithmetic, and want you to READ
the proof rbGRsGao TrG0eler.
40 BARBARA" the barber sighed,
''Ths scissor time to speak;
If you won't lie my hone true bride
I'll dye without a squeakn'
10 Dan Druf. dOn't!" the POI made screamed,
"Do such a wig head act:
1t would be barber-Ous. l dreamed
of you," she smiled with tact.
''Look cup and brush your tears away;
o! comb and be man;
Let's so ID I'll be your bride some dayw
az will, but if" cried Dan,
'You razor hope you will dispel.
There'lI beard death. you'll see;
And if there's scrape on my door bell
ychair will empty be-"
Il do not shampooer fellow"
Mis- Barbara, perpexed;
SOL though wien your first wife is dead.
You'll quickly cry for Next "-TId- Bits.