Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1886-10-09

a SCHOLAR, asked TO name the three
great Jewish feasts, gave, Breakfast.
dinnerand supper. y
Chicago Inter Ocean::-There is over
three hundred thousand Knights OF
Labor in the United States.
Chicago Ledger Where one man
wants but little here below" three
others are in hailing distance who want
il all. | 8e-i )
"How can you give such dirty
napkin?" beg pardon, sir; got folded
the wrong way. There sir; how's
that?"
"HIsToRY Of the Sausage" is the name
OF a book recently published in Eng
land, not Bologna. 1t is supposed 10 be
a work on ground hog.
Chicago Ledger "A Medical Record
discusses the question ''How to Sleep"
and gives long scientific formula ior
inducing sleep. What's the matter
with going to church.
PRoroUNDING to boy years old the
old riddle. ",Round the house, and
round the house, and peeps in the key
hole," he gives his immediate solution
IA womon-isn,t that it?''
esthetic young lawyer Of Albany,
N. Y, astonished the attaches of the
county clerks office the other day by
presenting for record legal paper
paper daintily perfumed. {
Norristown Herald :-"I walked the
floor all night with the toothache," !"
said he; to which his unfeeling listener
replied: "You didn't expect to walk
the ceiling with it, did you?'
N. Y. Independent Office Boy Ito
editor)-"There is a man ou side what
says he has bill he wants to present"
Editor-"Say to him that his man
uscript is respectfully declined"
Chicago Times The question OF
female suffrage in the Territory has
been greatly strengthened by the stale
nent OF delegate from Wyoming that
his mother-in-law had voted for him re-
peatedly.
N. Y. Mail Did you helr about The
burglar who was arrested this morning?'
end What for2" "For breaking into
sOnl." SIS that so?" "Yes. He'd
got sbrppugh t86 aars when some one
..lt Mn withas s ave"
REMEMBER you very we'll, y said the
hotel,keeper, "bHt yeur wife has grown
very thin" eyes" 'She YVES .ller. -
"Yes, "And lighter complexion, was
she not?" "Yes. Besides, you llow,
it is not the same one."
Judge Aged negro, speaking into
street letter-box: "Hullo in dar! Is
dar any letters for Elraim Sims2 Umphl
don't pay no tention to cullud gentle
mans question, ELI? Knowed it nd be
dat way as soon as de democrats got n
Offices.
SHE was crank on the subject oI
music. A gentleman knocked at her
door and asked: docs Mr.. Smith
live here?" No, sir; his room is an
octave higher--in the next fat." she
replied, in pianissimo a1dan tone
Of voice.
Exchange 4 The deacon's wife wan
~ jot down the text, and, leaning
over to her scaregrace nephew, she
whispered Have you card about
you?' You can't play in church,
ives his solemn, reproving 1swer; and
the good woman was so flrstered that
she forgot all about the text.
New York Sun :-"Why don't yon
bring your friend around to the house,
Mr.. Featherly?' asked Bobby & that
young man took his seat in the parlor
II have god many friends,
Bobby" replied Featherly, irdulgently,
(Which one do you mean?" "John
Barlevcorn. Pa ays you are great
friend OF his.
'I wANr this advertisement where i
won t show" said a lawyer, IS he enter
ed the Office OF Il newspaper. "It't 20
to be published to comply with the law
but it pertains to divorce ccse, 9nd We
don't want any more publicity thu w
can help. Let me see; your Liper il
Republican, isn't it9
The editor replied that it YVES.
"Then run this ad in under ~
church notice. 1t will never be seei
then by your subscribers" said til
lawyer.
| Washington Critic: :-One day in tn
Senate cloak-room Senator Vance wa
reading newspaper when an iter
struck him. "How's this?" he asked
appealing to three s.or four statement
: distributed around the room in assorte
postures, and reading as follows
''Senator ingalls, is the handsome
3 man in the Senate" aWhat's that?
/ asked Van Wyck in surprise. Really,
replied Vance, seriously, IL can't 81
whatit is, but | think it is typograpl
ical error"
En-o.E m