Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-10-03
BILL NYE
QUOTES FROM THR BUFFALO WALTON
WORLD.
Touching Farewell Of the Eiitar-Msny Proofs Of
Loyalty to His TCwnsmsn--Rsproach for
an Intellectual AnglswOm--Rsmin-
dss Of Many BoOms That Were
Hollow Mockeries.

with TINS hummer tue liuc sceuS ~
have fully arrived at which to cease the
publication of this paper. Many OF onr
subscribers will not even get this issue.
To be brief about it, we were not permit
ted to remove our print paper from the
Adams express office this week, although
we have never, in these columns, said
aught against Mr.. Adams or his justly
celebrated express. We have paid many a
dollar into the C. 0. d. department Of this
mans express company. Before we came
West; our physician told us that we could
not live without cod liver oil, and, indeed,
he was right, for have we not been q c. o..
d. liver oil the time since we started this
paper?
'"This last remark is offered rs o gratu-
itous insult Il every unpaid subscriber.
Paid up subscribers may omit it. Or We
will 60 to them personally and apologize.
'But let us seriously review the past two
years. history of the World. What have
we not done to aid and encourage our in
FAINT industries and advance the tagging
commerce of Buffalo Wallow?
LET our files show whether We have
done what we say or not. Let reluctant
capital paw over our pages, covering the
past, and answer if what We now state be
not accurate.
Have we not, at the instigation Of lead
ing citizens here, boomtI the condition Of
trade, when traffic was dead, Ond currency
nothing but a hollow memory?
Have we not, through the columns OF
the World asded that a bank be ut once es-
tablished here, when, as a matter of fact,
for q year the post Office has had to sell
stamps and take the pay out Of the store9
Have we not been gay and frolicksome
in these columns that the world mt large
might not tumble to the woe within us?
Have we not jokcd and punned and frol-
licked in print, when the shrill north wind
was whispering abroad with its icy breath,
he hath 10 underclothing whatever?
1--WE have been loyal to the town in
which we lived and this last act in our ca
reer shows how loyal the town has been to
us. Other newspaper men with fewer
brains aud in better towns, have grown
a%t1luent. Low browed journalists else
where, in towns that are populated by
human beings, have done well while we,
with a fatigued and vapid constituency.
have thrown away II best years and now
90 forth only with what is exempt from
seizure and sale.
1--WE kept quiet when the convention
made its nomination for member of Assem-
bly, last year and assisted in his election
because he was a"Buifalu Wallow citizen,
well knowing even then that he would be
the first man to put himself on the five
cent counter. We knew that he would
take anything from q pass to an unguarded
watermelon. But everybody said we
should stand by the nominations, especially
so long as the nominee was Il man who
lived here. So he went to the legislature,
worked for the better protection to musk
rats and downcd his ncighbors on every
corner. His pay was $3.50 for the session,
out of which he succeeded in paying $500
board and $500 whisky bills, after which
he found by Il system of rigid economy, he
had still enough left to purchase q two
moment horse and evade the grand jury.
more than all that, we have sat up
nights to edit and correct and revise and
punctuate the alledged speeches of this
man, so that his fellOw-men would not
think him the intellectual blight that he
is. All through the campaign his imitation
brains flOated about in a pail of Ied-eyed
rum, like the specimens in Il doctors
Office dancing OF the bosom Of a jar Of
alcohol. Then he would emit "a speech.
To-day, rs the result of our toll, he is gay
and free in Canada, while we 90 forth to
begin life's battles once more, with the
bitter memory of having assisted an intel
~lectual angle worm into a place where he
could market his moth-eaten soul.
I'VE have stood by the people of Buffalo
Wallow in every way while we have been
running this paper. We have maintained
that good order prevailed here night and
day, when the facts would hardly warrant
this statement. We have pointed with
pride to our peaceful record ~ a town when
the low refrain Of the six shooter, cooling to
its mate, came stealing through the quiet
night. We have asked the pious and
prudish East to come and dwell with us,
when we well knew that no stranger ever
walked the length of our street in o plug
hat and lived TO tell his friends about il,
unless the hat was made of boiler iron.
1--WE have also doomed our glorious
climate when it was nothing TO warrant in.
dorsement. We have written page after
page about our pure, bracing mountain air,
when we had been living OF Italian sunsets
and ozone for two days. We have written
about reconciliation and bi-metallism
and bond calls, when old man Gastric was
clamoring loudly for a meek and lowly
picked pigs foot.
So il has gone on. One hundred and
four times the World has gone forth from
this Office to beg for q church festival, 10
praise the feeble song Of a young lady Yho
resides here, and hasn't the manhood to
buy half a dozen extras containing the
puff, to congratulate the groom and sympa-
thize with the woman, TO say a kind word
for the MAJ who has painted his front fence,
to say pleasant things Of people who did
not deserve it, to whOop up the county fair
and the Fourth Of July celebration, only
to be badgered and bullied and sat upon
by people that were unworthy.
puDoSi " HtI tlti IdDtEF
h Hereafter will know why il is that way
They will understand that their subserip-
tions and the paper also, have expired.
Those who think tha; a publication is %
public trust will do well to apply else
where.
Readers Of the World who find a large
red cross and a notice Of sale on the front
door Of this Office will know that their sub
scription has expired.
1--WE resign here TO accept the portfolio
Of biscnit shooter in a restaurant where
food is an everyday occurrence.
"TwOyelrs agowe ioyfIiiy s.lntttoriei.
To-day we iuvOluDtarily valedictoried".
BILL NYE,
MARTINS FERRY.
A Few Minor Happenings, Briefy Cnron-