Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-03-11

| would not much rather go Wnere
neither of us was known, and l agreed
willingly, because whatever he likes
like, and l should have hated the fuss
: and ceremony of addresses and triumpha!
arches and that sort of thing. AL
that. 1 suppose, will. take place later,
and shall be horribly shy and nervous.
The most extraordinary thing has
happened! George has just been in, look,
ing quite pale and upset, to tell me that
he has had telegram from one of his
most intimate friends, who has had an
accident, and implores him to 90 to him
at once Poor George seems distracted
hardly know how l felt when he told
me. but after moment l said that o.
course. under the circumstances, he
ought to 90. Then he caught me in his
arms, but he looked SO strange that
felt almost frightened and was rathe,
glad when he went.
Il shall be back by twelve clock to.
morrow morning at latest. my own dar-
ling" he said. and kissed me again;
then rushed away. / sat long time
looking out of the window after he had
driven off can not in the least describe
how feel. The expression of his face
haunts me. l suppose he is dreadfully
grieved about his poor friend: but he
looked almost as if it was his fault-as
if he had some sort of remorse about it.
Of course that is all nonsense. / am
rather given to fancying things. / wish
now | had asked him something more
about his friend-he did not even tell
h., l,,% I {,,l-,n I
surprise that it did not occur to me to
inquire. The last words he said were:
81 shall be back tomorrow, darling.
and then we shall be SO awfully happy"
| have been wandering about the gar
den, and sitting under the trees, feeling
very disconsolate and oppressed. l
could almost fancy that I am a widow,
and have lost him forever. l don't
think | ever realized before how i'm
mensely | love him, and how blank and
awful the world would seem without
him. Why of all days should his friend
have IN accident to-day? Inever read
of such a thing happening in any novel.
To think that l. who have led such a
quiet, uneventful life (until l met him),
should be the victim of such strange
accident! 1t will make this diary very
interesting to read later; but, oh. l feel
so wretched and miserable now There
is a tear which has made a great blot.
What a bad beginning!
My head swims; hardly know if I
am in my right senses. am staring at
the paper now, and cannot understand
it one whit. and yet l know that some
awful inconceivable calamity has hap
pened to me. What shall l do? Where
can l 90? To whom can l turn?
1 had just finished dinner-a dull
enough meal. heaven knows!Vthe first
l ever sat down to alone. All the time
l was thinking Georges handsome face
ought to be opposite me, and that it
should have been the pleasantest dinner
l ever had in my life, and a lump rose
in my throat and nearly choked me, and
prevented me from eating.
/ was looking out of the window,
when the neat waiting-maid came in
with telegram. had never had one
in my life. 1t set my heart beating vio-
lentlv. felt it contained some dread
full news. My fingers trembled SO that
l could not open it. Some instint made
me put it down and wait until the wom-
an had left the room; then l tore it
open and read: your husband is
spending his wedding evening with me.
He always promised that he would" 1
read it over half a dozen times; l did
not seem to grasp the sense or meaning
of it. Then l looked at the top to see
from whom it came-'.Minna Vane,
Chapel street, London. to Lady Chal-
ford. Rose Inn, R"
Minna Vane! Minna Vane! A woman!
There had been no accident. He had
gone voluntarily of his own free will to
spend this day of all others with another
woman! l remembered his face in the
train. I remembered it when he babe
goodbye. This was why he had pro-
posed coming to place where we were
not known!
A sensation came across me as though
l had been struck a violent blow on the
head, and for time-I know not how
long-I felt nothing but a strange dead
ness and apathy. Then slowly there
came quickeaing in my heart, grow
ing and growing until it reached an in
tolerable agony. and smote me with Il
sense of overwhelming burning dis
grace. Where should I 90? Where
hide my misery. my shame? l must Pc
turn home-to the home which left in
triumphal state seven hours ago: stink
back disgraced, to be shaft for pity,
wonder. scorn. have never been any
where alone in my life. can not face
strangers. above all under these terrible
circumstances: but. oh, let me fly from
him who has treated me SO cruelty: let
me never. never set eyes on him again!
Why, o! my God, has he used me thus?
What have | done to him? If man
wanted 4 terrible revenge on woman.
he might think of some devilish way of
wreaking it: but what have ever been
but loving and humble, and glad to do
all he wished or babe?
My maid has just been in under pre-
tense of asking if I wantedi anything.
She looked curiously at me. as if she
lon@ed to question me. dare say
every one in the house knows or sur
misses that there is something wrong
and strange. l hardly dare to meet
their ewes. Oh. if l could but
hide myself! l vas never used
to be revengeful. l cotld always for
give any one who veye,t or offended