davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
STORIES OF SMUGGLERS.
Clever Methods Employed in Getting Contra
band Opium into San Francisco.

Clever Methods Employed in Getting Contra
band Opium into San Francisco.
On one occasion recently a boatman
who has acquired a comfortable fortune
by handling illicit opium, says the San
Francisco Chronicle, carried off a can
containing 80 pounds of the "Mongo-
lian's delight" while the government en-
ployes were watching his every move
ment. The can was taken from a coal
pile in the fire-room of the steamer to
the deck and swung over the side of the
vessel and into the smuggler's boat
When the boatman reached the wharf he
was bounced upon by the customs men
and his boat carefully searched. The
opium was not found, but it reached
Chinatown without paying duty before
the sun rose next morning.
Another incident of recent occurrence,
which serves to illustrate the manner in
which smuggling operations are conduct
ed from the vessels side, may here, be
related. Four steamship repairers in
small boat were on the port side, close
under the bow, and were being carefully
regarded by the customs officers, who
rightly suspected the object of their
maneuvers, although they had no hint
as to the means to be employed. Sud
denly the boat careened in the most I'M
suspicious manner, shipping about six
inches of water. A moment later one of
the men in the boat sang out to a man
standing near the ash chute: "Here, pass
US down plank. [ don't want to stand
here with my feet in this water"
A four-by-four inch piece of timber five
feet long, and containing forty pounds of
opium, was passed through the chute
and placed in the bottom of the boat
Two of the men stood on the timber
while the repairs were being made and
the boat was then taken under the wharf
where the plank was transferred to an
other boat and taken ashore. This
means of smuggling was adopted on a
day when it was understood that more
than ordinary vigilance was being exacted
by the government officials.
Sometimes when old boiler tubes are
being replaced by new ones quantities of
opium are taken ashore after having
been packed in the middle of the tube.
When a large number of tubes are to be
taken from a steamship this system of
smuggling is found to work very well, for
after having inspected the first two or
three lots the searchers naturally relax
their vigilance and twenty or thirty
fixed" tubes are then easily passed.
A cabbage head, bale of alfalfa, an
old fruit can, or even thd handle of a
Japanese parasol, may be made to do
service in the manipulation of the ICON
traband" before the eyes of the in
SDectOrS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
A Wonderful Memory.
San Francisco Post.

An eastern clergyman, who is visiting
California for the improvement of his
physical and spiritual health, was intro
duced the other evening to prominent
actor.
''We have met before and under happy
circumstances" said the smiling preacher.
Indeed" murmured the actor, with no
recognition in his glance.
eyes, sir; I married you, and I have
watched your career ever since with in
terest and pleasure. Yes, sir; married
you"
at may be so, it may be So" said the
man of genius, thoughtfully. "When was
it,"
"Why. in 1869, of course" replied the
man of Gcd, greatly astonished.
"And where?"
"Bordentown, n j."
Can you recall the lady's name?"
''Certainly. It was --.''
''Ah, yes, yes; now 1 do remember the
circumstances. What a memory you
must have, sir! In 1869, was it. What a
memory!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
A Sure Proof.
Detroit Free Pranc

heard story the other day about the
twin steeled st. Anne's church. An officer
of the til regiment, many year ago,
was In Detroit, and he went out to one of
the jovial Detroit parties where the cup
that cheered and afterward inebriated got
in its work. Itwas fine moonlight night
when he turned his wavering steps to the
old American, where the Dibble now
stands, and in passing st. Anne's church
he WIS appalled, to notice that it had two
steeples exactly alike. He could not be-
lieve that he was as drunk as all that, but
there were the two steeples before him.
When he got to his rooms he said to his
comrade:
"Jack, me boy (hic), I'm afraid I'm
(hic) drunk. Coming long the other
street passed (hic) church, and do you
know, almost thought it had two (hic)
steeples."
WELL" said the other, sit has two stee-
pies. That's st. Anne's church."
The officer pondered few moments on
this information, and remembering how
it had been impossible for him to tell
whether the church had or had not the two
steeples as he stood by it, he replied
mournfuIly:
"By George, Jack (hic), am drunk,
sure enough"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
SPICE OF LIFE.

Young men and young women often
like to be alone, but they like to be alone
together, as it were.-New Haven News.
Declined with thanks-A naturalist has
written little tract, "Hours with Bugs
Ha ha! Away with him! No bugs in ours.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Law without lawyers" is the title of a
new book. That's nothing strange. Lem
onade without lemons has been an old
thing ever since picnics were invented
Burdette.
A book on etiquette tells chow to tell a
man larger than yourself that he is a
liar" The best way is to tell him through
the telephone, and then go into the coun-
try for few days.-Evensville Tribune
News.
''What is that big iron thing full of
holes ?" asked Laura. Locomotive boil
err said Tom. Laura looked thoughtful.
After a moments silence she asked,
'Why do they boil locomotives ?" Tom
looked amazed: ''To make 'em TENDER
he said, slowly. -Burdette.
The Illinois editors are to consider the
subject of ''Truth in Journalism" at
their meeting this week. We have for
warded the secretary of the association
several copies of the Herald, so that the
editors can see what the genuine article
looks 1ike.-NorristOwn Herald.
A little girl, who is just at the age when
her table manners are beginning to be
looked after. called out at supper one
night recently: ''Give me some CAKE
''How do you ASK" said mamma, correct
lively. please give me some cake" re-
turned the little miss, and added una
Dashed: Il didn't forget it; was saving
it up."-Boston Courier.
lady living on Jefferson avenue,
wishing to have her parlor carpet swept,
gave the proper directions to her servant
"a greenhorn) to use the sweeper, but to
her surprise, on returning home, found
that the girl had been using a lawn
mower, and in no gentle mood gave it S
her opinion that the Yankee inventions
were humbug. Scranton Republican.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
Coffee in the ConfederacY.
By David Dodge

Coffee had been almost the sole table
beverage of the south, and no privation
caused more actual discomfort amonr the
people at large than the want of if. There
was nothing for which they stroye 50
eagerly and increasingly to produce q
substitute. Few, indeed, were the instanc-
es which did not first and last find their
way into the coffee pot. Wheat. rye
corn, sweet potatoes, peanuts, dandelion
seed, okra seed, persimmon seed, melon
seed are but a few of the substitutes
which had their turn and their day. "A
fig for the difference between Rio and
rye said the wits. "Eureka!" cried an
enthusiastic news correspondent. can.
other of the shackles which holds the
south the commercial thrall of the world
IS severed. Let South America keep hel
Rio and the antipodes its java. 1t is dis
covered to be true beyond preadventure
that as beverage the seed of the sea
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
Percantapa .
The last five are Ditiable fipureS. 7

The last five are pitiable figures. They
mean that III every group of six persons
In Banf one of them is known bastard.
Presuming that the immortality of Banff
has not changed for three generations. it
follows that, as each child has two pa
rents, the chances are that every third
child born there has one of its parents
illegitimate, and, going back to its grand
parents, two out of every three children
now born has one of either its grandpa
rents or parents illegitimate. The next
generation would make every one in
Banff illegitimate within three genera
tions.
Of course there are exceptionally moral
families to whom these calculations do
not apply, as there must be numbers who
have not had a legitimate ancestor for
generations. Taking Scotland as whole
with its 8.46 per cent. of illegitimate
children born last year-that being under
the average of the last 80 years-it means
that one out of every twelve of the whole
population is registered by its father or
mother as illegitimate. Recollect that
this shocking proportion is the lowest
possible amount, for had any of the peo-
pie who registered an illegitimate child's
birth merely said its parents were mar
RED it would have been registered as
legitimate. The highest type of female
purity IN Scotlsnd is to be found in Ross
and Cromarty. In that virtuous region
less than five in one hundred are known
to be illegitimate
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
A Plucky Umpire.
Louisville Courier Journal.

Perhaps the greatest and most success
full umpire that ever regularly served was
Ferguson, now manager of the Metropol
itan club. He is a man of an iron nerve
strictly honest, and Geld and unsocIable
as an iceberg. He avoided players who
always held him in fear. number OF
stories are related of Bob Ferguson's
habits of discipline while on the field. He
was once a ball player as well as an UNI
pire in both the league and association
Of all things in the world Ferguson dis,
liked most was player who would make
quick bluff at him with view of pre-
iudicing his decisions. While acting as
umpire he always kept safe distance be-
tween himself and the players, holding
that when an umpire is hail fellow vel
met with every ball tosser that comes in
his way he will make but poor and in.
efficient umpire. In this connection, Mr.
j. j. Eagan, formerly of the league staff
umpires, tells the following story of Fer
guson: 81 forget who the catcher was,
said Mr.. Eagan. Anyhow, it was in q
great game east, and the catcher was q
very smart young man. The pitcher
threw fair ball squarely over the plate
Ferguson had already called three balls.
and when this one was caught by the
catcher he quickly turned around to Fer
guson and sharply said:
"'Strike, eh?'
"'That's ball. said Bob.
"A what?' said the catcher.
" "A ball. Now you go on and play.
''The very next ball." said Mr.. Eagan,
twas as fair a one as l ever saw. The
catcher made the same bluff
and Ferguson said: That's five balls. The
next time you do that I'll fine you You
can bet that catcher kept quiet during
the rest of the game"
Another time Dunlap the great second
baseman and captain of the st. Louis
nine, was playing game in which Fer
guson was the umpire. Dunlap, as usual
was playing for the applause of the aud
fence, and had just made one of his
splendid one-hand catches, assisting in q
double play. The egotistical player
staggered up to the umpire with the ball
in his outstretched palm and remarked:
BLOWS that, Fergy?"
Chats $25 fine," said Ferguson, "and
it will be $50 more every time you at
tempt to give me away before an aud
ience."
After that Dunlap went back to his
base in silence, and did not speak word
during the rest of the game.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
Little Drops of Water.

In Limestone, KY, the water is so hard
that the inhabitants use plates of it for
window glass.
The drouth in Arizona is so severe that
the water in mint julep rustels like a
bunch of dried leaves.
1t is so dry in Wheeler county Texas, that
the people have to sprinkle the water be-
fore it is wet enough to drink.
The drinking water in Philadelphia in
summer is so thick that it is customary
to slice it up with knife and serve it with
ice.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
In9Ortant.

When You visit leave New York City, save
Baggage, Expressage and So Carriage Hire and
step a. the Grand Union Hotel; opposite
Grand Central Depot
613 elegant rooms, fitted up at a cost of one
million dollars, 81 and upwards per day. Euro
pean plan. Elevator. Restaurant supplied with
the best. Horse cars, stages and elevated rail-
road to all depots. Families can live better for
less money at the Grand Union Hotel than at
any other first class hotel in the city.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
GOD CURED HER.
A Young Girl Dies, Enters Paradise and Comes
Back to Life
Macon ga Telegraph,

Macon GA Telegraph.
The little town CT Vernon, Lamar
county, twenty-eight miles northeast of
| Columbus, Miss, has furnished a first
class sensation, which has set the whole
country wild.
Mollie Pennington, daughter of George
Pennington, who resides four miles from
Vernon, aged Ii years, was taken sick on
the 18th ult. Physicians stated that her
illness resembled hydrophobia. On the
18th Drs. Reed, Brown, Morton and Burns
were called in to see the girl. She pre-
scented every sign of hydrophobia, at
tempting to bite every one around her,
even herself. On the 6th she somewhat
rallied, gained her consciousness and told
those around her that she would die for
an hour exactly, and at the expiration of
that time to chafe her hands and feet
and that she would come back to life.
At the time predicted she died away,
and physicians present state that death
was apparent, the pulse failing to beat
and her body was cold. Her physicians
during the hour applied all available rem
edies to restore her, and at sixty-two min
utes exactly from the time she swooned
away she astonished all by opening
her eyes and jumping nimbly from her
bed.
She told that she had been to heaven
and that God had cured her. She then
told that she was returned to preach to the
earth, and commence their eXhOrtatiOns
that amazed them all.
The most curious circumstance is that
she remarked Immediately that she had
seen Mrs. Biermore in heaven and had
talked with her. Mrs. Biermore, who lives
four miles away, had died during the hour
the girl was apparently dead, and no one
had had any communication with the
| family.
At the appointed time in the evening
she has continued her exhortations telling
beforehand at what hour God would be
with her.
Ministers from all over the country are
focking to see her, and her discourses
move her audiences to tears and shouts.
Men of strong mind say there is some
thing supernatural about her. She never
went to school day in her life and can
not read her name, and never heard but
one sermon in her life; and the good Ian
guage used by her in her discourses and
Bible teachings strike her hearers with
wonder.
She is unusually small for her age,
weighing but forty-One pounds. She has
always been of a reticent disposition
until within the last month she has been
in usually good spirits and talked inces-
sanity.
This statement is corroborated by at
least dozen men your correspondent has
talked to, who have seen and heard her
talk. Great crowds are reported as going
from all over the country to hear her.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
A Remarkable Stone.
Mexico CrGniStO,

''The Calling Stone" 1t is situated on
a glade of the vale of Mexical, behind the
mountain of La Lagunilla. The stone
appears to be hewn, and it is spherical
almost in shape; is about vara in diam
eter and it must weigh something like
seventy kilogrammes. In the center of
the upper part it has a hole, which runs
into the heart of the stone, forming a
spiral. On fitting to this hole mouth
piece and blowing, the sound Of a horn is
produced, somewhat melancholy in tone,
and so loud that it can be heard great
distance. The ranchmen of that locality
employ this as means of calling their
focks to the sailing, and the animals
come hurrying to the summons, to which
they are quite accustomed.
There is a tradition about this stone
resembling one which Alfredo Chavero
tells in the Historic Antigua de Mexico,
concerning the rock of Aculco. It relates
that the owners of the hacienda of Santa
Clara destroyed the boundary marks and
carried the stone away, hiding it on the
ranch of Cuatepec, where it was fastened
by chains in a cellar. But the stone dis
appeared from where they had placed it,
and made its way back to its former po-
sition. To this tenacity of purpose in
remaining in its wonted situation the
jewellers in the neighborhood attribute
its resistance to the powerful wash of the
mountain torrents which rush down the
glen without stirring it; even a water
spout, which burst and wrought great hav-
oc there, had no effect upon the calling
stone.'' A proposition is made to test its
powers of resistance to the appliances of
modern engineering In accomplishing its
removal to Cuernavaca the capital of
Morelos, where it would serve as the nu-
cleus of museum.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

For DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION depression of
spirits and general debility in their various forms;
other intermittent fevers the ''Ferro- Phosphora-
ted Elixir of Calisaya," made by CasweIl Haz-
ard & Co., of New York, and sold by all druggists
is the best tonic and for patients recovering from
fever or other sickness it has no equal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

Mr. D. Il. Barnaby, Of Owego, n Y, says that
his daughter was taken With violent cold which
terminated with Pneumonia, and all the bess
physicians gave the case up and said she could
live but few hours at most. She was in This
condition when friend recommended DIR. " NJ
HALLS BALSAM FOR THE LUNGS, and al
vised her to try it. She accepted it as last re-
sort, and was surprised to find that it produced
marked change for the better, and by persevering
permanent cure was effected
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

Somebody's child is dying-dying with the flush
Of hope on his young face, and somebody
mother thinking of the time when that dear face
will be hidden where no ray of hope can brighten
G-because there was no cure for consumption.
Reader, if the child be your neighbours, take this
comforting word to the mothers heart before it
is too late. Tell her that consumption is durable;
that men are living to-day whom the physicians
pronounced incurable, because one lung had been
almost destroyed by the disease. DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery has cured hundreds;
surpasses cod liver oil, hypophosphites, and 9TH
er medicines in curing this disease. Sold by
druOpiStS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
"No Dead Wood in this ofrer.n

AMONG THE $50 kinds of Cloth Bound Dollar
Volumes given away by the Rochester IN. Y. J
american Rural Home for every 81 subscription
TO that Great SPACE, 4S COL, 16 year old weekly
Gall SKI inches from 800 to 900 pages, bound in
Cloth), are:
Law Without LswyerS- Danelson's Medically Coun
Family Cyclopedia. sellor.
Farm Cyclopedia. Boys Useful PaStimeB.
Warmers and Stockbreed FiyeYears Before the Mast
era Guide. Peoples History of United
Common Sense II Poultry States.
Yard. Universal His. of all Ma
World Cyclopedi1. tons.
What Any One Should Popular History Civil War
Know Cboth sideS.)
Any one book and paper one year, postpaid
$1.15 onlyl Satisfaction guaranteed. Refer
euce: Hon. G. r PARSONS, Mayor Rochester
Samples cents. RURAL HoxE Co., LTD, Roch-
ester, n. Y
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
ROUGH ON CATARRH ,.

corrects offensive odors at once. Complete cure
OF worst chronic cases; also unequaled as gargle
for dlphtheria. sore throat, foul breath. SOC.
Petaluma, CAL, citizens have decided to boy
colt all Sacramento river potatoes raised by Chi
neSe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

During the first six months of 1886
the value of the manufacturing and min
ing enterprises of the South was increased
by about $63618OOO.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
A Most Liberal Offer!

THE VoLTAIc BELT Co., Marshall, Mich, offer to
send their Celebrated VoLTAIc BELTS and Electric
Appliances on thirty days trial to any man af
Hcted with Nervous Debility, Loss of Vitality,
Manhood, etc Illustrated pamphlet in sealed en-
velope with full particulars. mailed free. Write
them at once.
The champion trotting pig lives at Perry, Ga
1t can keep in sight Of any of the fast horses in
that locality
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

Rough on Toothache." Instant relief. 15c
Chinese carpenters in California have aban-
doned their antique tools and adopted exclusive
w American indictments
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
A Cure of Pneumonia.

The embezzlenlent Of $50 was sufficient II
bankrupt and dissolve a travelling theat.ic,i
troupe IN New England town the otter day.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
REAuTIFIL WOMEN

are made pallid and unattractiye by functional
Irregularities, which DR.. Perce's ''Favorite Pre-
scription" will infallibly cure. Thousands tes-
timonialS. By druggists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

Since Jan. the real estate sales at Riverside,
Cal, have aggregated $4,000 The largest single
sale was twenty -seven acres for S2S. 900.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

There has not been saloon for the
sale of intoxicants in Hancock County W.
Va, for over forty years, and it is also
true that during the year 1885 the grand
jury did not find single Indictment, and
there was not a prisoner in the county
jail drring that year.
The town of Verden, near Bremen, re-
Gently celebrated with much solemnity
the eleven hundredth anniversary of the
completion of the Cathedral.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

Five dollars can be saved every year in boots
and shoes by using Lyons Heel Stiffeners, costs
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
ROUGH ON ITCH.n

According to a recent estimate there are ESQ.,
! DOC, 900 cocoanut trees in the world. They pro-
| duce about 10, 900 600, 900 nuts every year
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
TROUGH ON BILE" PILLS

Start the bile, relieve the bilious stomach, thick
aching hsad and overloaded bowels. Small gran
ules, small dose, big results, pleasant in oper-
alton. dOn't diStIlrh the stomach DC
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

A female burglar who had bagged much
valuable property has been herself bag
ged, at Pawtucket, r. I.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

months treatment Tor f1So'S Remedy
for Catarrh Sold hv drllg.1.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29
WELLS HAIR BAISAM.

According to the Noorfeld (Va) Examiner, a
cat at that place recently gave birth to four fair
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-29

Rough on Itch" cures skin humors eruptions
ring worm letter, salt rheum, frosted feet chill
blans, itch, ivy poison, BARRIERS itch. SOC. jars.
Figures show there has been great decline
in sheep husbandry in Vermont within the last
years