Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1885-1890, 1886-09-18
The Amateur Chemist.

VIZ - l'tA tAAoh SANH 49,
thankful the public ought to be that they
are in a field where they cannot get at the
lives of the people. We often find fault
with fate. BIZ: certainly it is wisdom that
takes a man ont of the drug store some
times and puts him in the sanctnm. VI.
l.. Nisscher, who has Done journalistic
work on many papers and work too, that
would have made his ycputotion world
wide if he iAdn't been 50 Internally an
onymous about il. MAS once a drug clerk
in Kentucky. If sNu wAtcA closely yon
will sec that the E4an who is intended AS
a newspaper athlete Viii =, through tue
gamut Of trade and professions, but Will
surely get into journalism first or last.
And it isn't such q calamity to bsiall Il
Young man either, IS it usel to be. or
course, | mean If lie IS L good, square
newspaper laan, act The scalawag kind OF
the kindergarten ttumorist, bat Il real,
working, advancing, sure enough Ge~s-
paper nlan, with d love for his work and
d desire to Improve. Well, Eisscher used
to invent t;iags whenhe was in the drug
business. He showed 4 good deal Of in
genuity in t.sat way. He invented a kind
OF rat poison omce that worked veil, bat
the Ingredients were too expensive to
make the patent Z valuable one. jleh5li
ed 4;ue r&ts w;gl! his solution, but 1t Gu;
him 800 to % it. This, YOU see, "a
fa{u, H., only 10 the rats, but TO the pol
son i-sa.t. Jesse tluWser WIS Il resident
Of tile Village il which Eisscler WAS act
ing IS Nemesis, Iro TEN. and general
soda fountain superintendent. Jesse Wa
1 dead sllpt when he got after the Ken
tucAy sl,i:rre!, ausl life ought u have
been ore .0ng, happy squirrel hunt for
Ei:.l. LIT lie WIS not entirely happy.
Tie l!al "a WHISPERS. He did not
care for lis angry hair, but his inttaiEed
heard #4aoyed hi;a very much. He went
to Vissctser, regarding him as a sort OF al
chemist WAC could do almost anything
with his mysterious Jars and peculiar
smelling herbs, He asked SisscLcr to
colo: his beard fer him, and offered in
consideration: therefor, to bring him a
mess o. squirrels. The price was s~atisfac-
tory, and the young chemist proceeded to
make Nj. Cl&wser's beard us Slack as ii
ravens wing with lunar caustic. Every
little while he would make a mistake and
hit Tie SKIN, and Mr.. Clawser would jump
r,4 ~ lt- ,iA,s,. 49, -,ok
Wherever the caustic struck Jesse,s cpl.
derllis it would leave a black SPOT that
would wash off about as easily as a birth
mark. Well Mr.. Clawser walked out Of
the bsck room Of that drug store with 4
heaEt. as black as an Egyptian Tom cat
ana hair as red as the sunset Of Il summer
lag iii Ing own Italian home so far. far
away. At first no one knew him. He had
to Introduce himself. Then people GOT
better acquainted with him, and the PEG
ia!e u northern Kentucky who were not
too b1sE, dropped tiseir other duties and
followed him around wherever he went.
IAls "a last plined aud annoyed him. He
got through ten days, and then he stole
lnta tie store after hours one ni-tt and
begged NIssG!ser TO shave l.u. The
9le~E amateur chemist offered to do SO
Tor another mess Q: squirrels. lie didn't
60 i very we'll, bat he made out to segere-
s,te Nr. Cl&#ser from his glorious beard.
Ihere i lar On tie floor like tile end Of Il
COWS tail soah 60 il ~logaood, 1, dead, IN
n]ettAIal, horrible, somhre pile Of stiff a4sl
d~tabo..cal hair. MI. Clawser heaved Il
sigh VI relief anu went t. tile mirror.
Ita saw there . young man with white
eyes ana cream-coIored eyebrows. The
la.sAes EeEe ccru and the freckies were
Ike large tieci>s OF bronze. Tie hair
hang aboat the forehead like an ineen-
diary fire beyond control. 80 add to the
general horror Of the holocaust, his face
was spotted all over with black dsuBs of
lunar caustic. Mg. Clawser looked like
the map Of the burnt district. He looked
ike the tattooed man at the circus. He
reminded the people OF a red headed pep
wiper. lie went around through, the
forests frightening little children into st.
Eltas' dance for three days, living on
Luckleber}ies and blue grass. He then
tooS another mess ~ofsqnirreis to Nisscher
aad asked him il there wasn't some way
known y science by which these marks
could he removed. Eisscher fled the
squirrels ana said he thought possibly it
could be done. lie then applied i little
cyanide Of potassium, and removed the