Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-18
PEACEFUL.

l American apples in great quantities are | going to Liverpool from New York and Bos- l ton. These are the pippin times of peace.- | Springfield Union.
 l The safety of Cuba takes great load off our mind We were afraid that all the Ha- l vana cigars would have to be made in this
 country. Philadelphia Call. In the Restaurant-"Garco are you sure l that this fish is fresh!' "Ah, monsieur, of | that it is impossible for me to say; I have only been in the place a week. ."-French Wit.
 1 On a first glimpse of the sea. "Astonish- | ing! Who would have thought there could ! be as much water as thatF' ''True; and re- | member you only see what's on top."-Tid- | Bits.
 A physician remarked to a patient that a l trip to the mountains would be beneficial now that the autumn exodus had set in, and | then the patient wanted to know if the au- ' tumn exodus was ever fatal.-Lynn Item. | It is said that the lady who wrote 'tIn the | Gloaming" made 5000 out of it.. Some newspaper men who write not only in the | gloaning, but until three o'clock next morn
 l ing, don't make $5 out ot it.-Norristown
 l Herald.
 Mrs. DeWiggs-What made MT. Romans
 house burn down, Jack? Jack-Spontane- ous combustion, believe. Mrs. DeWiggs-
 Is that so? I heard somebody say it took fire of itself, but didn't believe any such non- I sense.-Tidbits.
 l We don't believe the yarn about that l Cambridge woman carrying bat around
 with her in her stomach for seven hears, un- less 1t can be shown that the bat was stone | deaf. Otherwise she'd have talked it to l death.-Fall River Advance. A downtown druggist has a parrot which ! he has taught to say "What pretty girl p whenever woman, young or old, enters his store; and they do say that poor, weak man can hardly get into the store to buy a cigar on fine afternoon Philadelphia Call. Old Party-'sHey, officer, I want to go to Chicago; is this my trainF" Typical Metro politan Policeman-"B "Begorra, oi don't know; the nem of some railroad company is for ninst on the carr, an oi suppose its their prawperty. Have yees lost a train iny- wheresa"-Columbia Spectator. "My gracious, see that terrified mani" (Which onea'' ''The fellow that's just turn ing the corner. He's as pale as ghost" "Yes." "Wonder what's the matter with him." "He's an anarchist" "What makes him run sop "A boy has threatened to whip him. ."-Arkansaw Traveller. Young housekeeper (to assistant(-Have you a small hand bellows for blowing the fire!
 Misunderstanding like that, madame 2 Young housekeeper-Yes, that will do. If you will fill it with wind and put cork in the end, I'll take it with me- Topical Times. Mir. Brown and his wife happened to be in the depot when emgrant train came in. As the newly arrived foreigners in their pie
 turesquely dirty costumes emerged from the train his wife asked, 'EWhat are all those people, Henry?" "That's job lot of Amer ican citizens just come in," was the reply Merchant Traveller.
 Lady (to husband)-'Dear, please come nav for these bOOks T'va Tirka5 foI,r "What are they?" "Oh, I don't know" "How do you know you have not had l han1 ?"
 ''I looked inside" "At the endingH' "Yes, " Don't see how you can tell by that. :" ''Why. the girls names are different of course. you
 goosy. ."-Chicago Tribune.