Morning journal and courier., 1886-06-19

LEFT.
The fisheries question-Is there anything
 left in the pocket fask?-Philadelphia Her o1I

The fisheries question--Is there anything left in the pocket faska-Philadelphia Her aid.
 Those men-"Think I'll run down to suss" q said, For change. '"-Judy
 'tPa," said five year old son, ''can a rope walk:' sI think not, my son,'' answered the father, ''but it might if it were aut."- Texas Figaro.
 ''This is a very healthy place" observed boarding mistress ''Yes-for chickens" said boarder. ''I have been here two years and haven't seen dead one yet" She took the hint.-St. Albans Messenger.
 A Rockland man killed a COW last week and found alarming needle imbedded in the flesh near the heart. The COW had evidently accomplished the hitherto impossible feat of finding needle in a haystack.-Rockland (Me) ourier-Gazette.
 Geronimo is not pronounced Geronimo, but Heronimo, says morning editor. Hood hraeious, what is he hiving usa What hay and hiddy style of talk this hentleman would let us into. By hosh, we won't have it. Ho to! Ho to!-Washington Critic.
 ''My love-" said one lady to another, 'syou heard, 1 suppose, that Amanda is about to marry Arthur?" ''I know it." was the reply; land what I can't understand is that wo- man as intelligent as she can consent to mar
  her."
 Money will not always make the mare go. Stout party (who is in something of a hur ry): ''Tll give you five shillings to get me to the station in three minutes" Cabman (with provoking slowness): "Well, sor, you might corrupt me, but you can't bribe that horse."
 There was a wedding breakfast. The groom to the little girl-"You have new brother now, you know" ''Yeth," responded the little one 'sma seth it was Lottie's last chance, so she had better take it." The rest of the little ones talk was drowned in a clat ter of knives and forks.
 Saloouist (to his little boy who has been left in charge few minutes)-"Fell, Heln- rich, haf you sold holdings vile I was out?" Little boy-''Ya, ladder; sold dot old slate for 50 cents. Der shentlemen said ve could buy new for 10 cents. Dot vas great bargain, ladder. Puck.
 A Proud Moment.-It was in bank in Nebraska town. A farmer slapped down $50 on the counter and proudly remarked: ''Theres the last dollar 1 owe on my farm. I am now entitled to a deed" ''You must feel good!' observed Boston man who was in the bank on business. 'fI do." "And you will now go ahead with better spirits'' the loan office and mortgage the durn land for what I can and skip" was the feeling re- ply.-Wall Street News.
 Two of the school committeeman of a neighboring town got into fierce argument. One said that man sits down, while the other was equally sure that he sets down. Seeing that there was no hope of coming to an agreement, they decided to leave it to the chairman of the board. That dignitary heard the arguments advanced on either side. He then hemmed three times, swallowed his Adams apple twice, inflated his chest till he looked like pouter pigeon, and delivered himself thus: ''Gentlemen, you are both wrong. You don't say man sits down; you say he sot down. And now let us go on with the examination of applicants for the vacan- cy in the High school. They've got to be mighty spry if they pass my catechising."- Boston Transcript.