davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19
A GirafTe's Memory.

The funniest thing ! ever saw or
heard of in connection with the memo
ry of animals happened one year when
| was out west with u travelling mcnag-
erie You We heard. Of course. how ell
ephau;s viii remember an insult twenty
years, some say longer Well. tn, lit
tie incident concerned q giraffe and gi-
rallcs, are not generally credited with
much sense. auYwGY. 10 say nothing Of
memory But this one showed great
deal of the latter quality, anyway. We
had rot is far u Rock Island. H.
where We had 10 eros, the Mississippi on
an old ferry. that being before the big
government bridge was built there.
Everything went all right until we came
20 this giraffe lie wouldn't 70 on the
ferry CoaXing. soaring, pushing, beat
ing did 10 good. lie simply lay down
on Ike river bank and would not
bulge. While was working over him
the ferry made another trip. When
she came back up gets Mr.. Giraffe as
spry rs YOU please the first time urged
him and marched straight on 10 the fer
~. Several people who had been on
the boat the trip before and seen the ri
RATES. queer capcrs on the other side OF
the river were waiting 10 see what kind
OF luck | had. Well. the boat was fifty
feet or 50 from the down shore when
that giraffe happened 10 turn his head
toward the landing and see those pco-
pie. He gave giraffe trumpet, and,
before ] knew what Ec w., do NJ, Jump
ed over the rail Mt, the UafOr II took
three-quarter, OF an hour to pull m
out. Now. what do You think was the
matter with that giraffe? discovered it
while the crowd was gathering around
the rescued animal below the dock.
Among the people was one tall. slim
young fellow the giraffe seemed TO have Il
particular aversion to. When he saw the
young man near him he began 10 trem-
bic violently, and made desperate eff
forts 10 break away. | questioned the
young man. and found that year be-
fore lie had crossed on the ferry -boat
with this menagerie. There was n gi-
ratle among the animals on the lower
deck. and his head had stretched away
up to the passenger deck Of the ferry,
where the young man was sitting with
some friends. As the giraffe long
neck bad come twisting around in his
direction he had been cruel enough 10
take quid of tobacco and throw it
down the giraffe open mouth. No
doubt it was the same giraffe had with
me then. and no doubt, too, he recoC-
nized his tormentor the instant his eyes
fell on him. -NcD York tOHmcrcid}
tdTsvfiSer
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19
Diet and Conduct.


Sr Henry Thompson thinks that our
forciathcrs did not suflic emily consid-
or this Great subject. Like Mr. Soucer.
,l,.,. ho,.o loor he odr,,t. ,or,, MONTH
.., IT.
ana IollI purpose III me laws '"c} NAY"
framed tor the regulat on Oh human
conduct and the satisfaction OF the nat
ursI cravings Of rclioious emotions.
rn, ,bo.. o,b.r c,o,.,rs ,or,rl.. co,.
''''' - human MAUI W.
'iio.'ohS' cravings 81 me Hui''"' "o.'l'
they have disregardcd. 40 don. 10.
hc SAYS, there has long been some
pract cal acknoN ledgcmcut. ON jhc
past OF a few cducat Il persons, OF the
SIMPLE fact that man temper ANS
cons qucnuy most OF bis actions. de-.
pend upon such an alternative a.
whether lie hab.tually q @cs We'll ur
iI; whether the meals which DE- Gals
are properly converted into healthy ma
ter.aI, suitable Tor the ccasc!rss Worn
OF building up both muscle and BRAIN
CO. V."tlcr unheal thy products con-
S."t.} poluie the course % nutrlNr
supply. But the truth Of t.at fact Lar
meyer tccn generally admitted 10 an CO.
tent a. a,l comparable with ts exceed
ing Nl ogidncc. Herein were our an
ce,tor> GaTist. The relation between
food amt virtue Sir Henry maintains (as
did Plthagora, before hm) 70 be Il very
close relation. HIS view ol this lcia-
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19
Conflicting Names of Battles.

Frequent allu>ion has been made to
this subject. and it has been a prolific
cause of annoyance For the benefit of
Chicago Lcdger readers we give Cen
cral ID. II. II IL version rs found u
The century;
The conflict Of the l4th Of Scptem.
Der. 1862, is called the battle Of South
Mountain at the North. and the battle
Of Boonsboro' nj the South. So many
6attlefcldS of the civil war bear double
names that we cannot believe the du-
pication has been accidental IL j. the
unusual which imprcs>c,. The troop,
of the North came mainly rom cities.
towns. and villages, and were. there
fore. impressed by some natural Oh
iccts near the scene of conflict. and
named the battle from il. The sold er~
from the South were ell cilS from the
country. and were. therefore. impressed
bv some artificial object near the field
of action. In one section lie u|p'.
has been after the handiwork OF
i'm the other section ii has been ailc,
the handiwork of man Thus the first
passage of arms j. called the battle OF
Bull Run at the North-the name of u
Little stream. AT the South it takes the
name of Manassas. from railroad sta
ton. The second battle on the same
ground is called the Second Bull Run
bv the North, and the Second Manassas
| bv the South. Stones defeat is the
battle of Balls Bluff with the Fcderals.
and the battle of Leesburg with the
| Confedcrates. The battle called by
General Grant Pittsburgh Landing. 4
natural object. was named Shiloh. aft
er church. by his antagonists. Rose
Grams called his first great battle with
Bragg the battle of Stone River. while
Bragg named il after Murfreesboro. a
village. So McClellan's battle of Chick
ahonliny. little river. was with Lee
the battle of Cold Harbor. tavern.
The Federals speak of the battle of Pea
Ridge as the Ozark range of noun
tains. and the Confederates call it after
Elk Horn, country inn. The Union
soldiers called the bloody battle three
DAYS after South Mountain from the lit
tie stream Antietam. and the Southern
troops named il after the village OF
Sharpsburg. Many instances might be
gwen of this double naming by the OPP.
posing forces Chicago Ledger.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19
War Jokes.

Il was fun TO old boys to have . few
companies of hundred-day men station
ed among them, a were three COM
panics from Ohio N 1864, near Fort
Worth. with Wilson's Battery, FIRST
New York Artillery. These were the
most unsophi,ticated Of all the lads ey-
err seen in camp. and they would be-
lcyc any sell" VIII ch the "old boy,
were pleased to impose upon them
Some of the "old boys" had received
boxes from home well stored with la
bic goodies not found in camp. such as
are prepared by a mother $, sister :. ot
wife's careful hand, among the con
tents of which were butter. cheese.
honey. pickles, etc.
These rural Ohoans. seeing these
delicacics in the hands OF the 'od
boys inquired why it was that they
had none. They were asked, in rep
if they got none, and told to draw them
rs they did. They naturally Supp"> q
draw them meant go TO the QW.r,rr-
master for them, and accordingly went
1t did not take that functionary long To
make known to them how such ration-
were drawn
Another joke, more practical and
less profitable To the wag who pcrpr-
trated IT, was PLAYED on Tom Brown
by sam Green, preceded by the follow
inc dialogue;
Brown Say. sam, where do YOU get
your washing done? am getting g m
foundedly dirty.
Green--Why. do YOU not have a man
to do your washing for your COMPANY
b. No. do YOU?
G.. Why, yes.
B.--Whcrc is his tent? Perhaps /
can get linn TO do mine.
G.-Over there pointing to his own
Captains tent
Away goes Brown with his bundle of
soiled linen. and accosted Green's Cap
tain. when the following dialogue en-
. sued after Brown had made known his
errand:
Captain W.-Who sent you here?
Brown-Sam Green.
Captain--Well, you leave your wash
ing, and ii shall be done for YOU.
Sam Green was at once sent for. aud
ordered to wash that linen. and he did
II, too. while the Captain watched h IN.
and all the camp called Sam washer
woman after his joke on Tom Brown
had turned upon himself. Joker SAM.
in Chicago Ledger.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19
THEY BROUGHT HIM HOME

From where Muskegon's mills and homes
Are circlcd round its bay
A sal I'm n stately ship
WINGED whitcly-sailed away;
While each wave danced, and sighed content
Lispcd love, and kissed her as she went
A maiden stooi-with longing eyes
Upon a sandhilrs crest,
and watched her lovers barquc sink lev
Far out toward the West.
20 waves" she said, % gentle sea,
Bring bacl. my Own true love 10 meV'
So every day, when time had sped,
She paced along the shore.
Ana watched. or tanc.cG that she heard
Faint through the surces roar
The wcl[known ha'l-ilmillaryoccd
At which her very soul reio.ced
Thus. one night, whca star, looked down,
When waves sang low and sweet,
They brought her lover in their arms
Aud laid him AZ her feet,
| ron lis calm expressive face,
Death uuhc., IS mystery and grace
What they had taken out with joy
With murnur, back thcg gave.
Ter lover. ruci,'d a. dreanlr.. s.crp
T., meaning wind aud wave.
1hes bguu.hi him from uut tie 1.stin. Wcs:
To sleep upon the ma!dcn's brca-t
.mpl" Story, often told
OF tro.c who sail away
'NcatE -uuuy skies, { rough luu-liu. surge.
From out llE-kegon', bay;
Where mauy pine croOns low, and wave.
It. DARK iiumrs DER ,hc sailors grave.
IL LIgH 10 e. ii the Cerrot
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

The "big trees of CALIFORNIA; will
soon be extinct Seventeen lumber
companies, owning from 5000 to $4,000
acres of re wood forest each. are wag-
ing the war of determination with all
the weapons known to the mo !crti log
ging camp. The demand for the wood
is unlimited. and all the mills are kept
at work to the limit OF their capacity.
The forests are large, but the forces
employed against them are swift and
irresistible.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19


Some sT'o years ago California enact
ed law T. print and sell school books
to children at cost. The law was i'm
mediately put into effect, a printing
Office purchased, and text books, fresh
from the state press arc new being dis
tributcd. The result proves the wisdom
and foresight OF The Legislature, and
effects a saving of moro than one-half
the cost OF eastern books, rs the follow
ing comparison will show: Appleton ;
series of readers cost - 90; Swinton 5
series, 81 10, Bancroft's series, SO GO;
McGuTey's series, - 80; safe series,
81 Ga. There are 2j, 900 school ch ldrcn
in the state.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

Patrick O'Kelly had been on spree.
and. in fact, was still on tare. Ii
was at supper and little Tot wanted
some more gravy.
AN what wud We do with it il |
gives it to yer!' asked O'Kelly.
"Shure an / wud eat it." said the
truthful Tot.
"Av course We wud.' said O'Kelly.
$50 what is the use Nv givin' it to
yez?" Detroit Free Press.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19
SUNNYGRAMS.

The married man who knows his r's and
VIII now get "eoalcd" before the weather
does
What does it profit man TO be a
weather prophet, if his prophecies do
not come true?
Such noisy bovine racket, will it never,
never hardly ever-ccasci
Cow-doctors must be playing, child-iike,
that they're "stomping,' "stomping'
out disease.
There are said TO be forty seven
thousand empty flats in Paris. per-
feet dudedom as il were.
lie will boast Of sca-serpents he's seen;
Anacondas which often he shoots:
Yet something 10 brag Of he's not quite so
green,
They're the snakes he oft sees in his boots.
The Spaniards have 500 ways of
cooking eggs. but they have only one
way OF swearing nj the grocer who
sells them dozen revolutionary hen
fruit.
The bureau-ncw-monia gag
Is worked for all IL j. worth. nowadays
tow-dOctOrs may hluslcr and brag,
But tis he bureaus ncw-moucy (ah > that
pays
A new street of tombs LA, been
found al Pomper. Anybody having
lost Il new street Of .mnbs can have the
same by calling on the finder and pay
ing for this notice.
Some comedians cut a dash,
Some live ou the finest hash
Some win make a moneyed mash,
Some viii Get The oil mans lash,
some II make lot of cash
Aud some come 10 eternal smash.
job NAV have had his troubles.
And may have had his patience ycXt,
But he never GOT intensely interested in
the wecps and walls and woes Of an
clipping couple and followed their trials.
troubles. aud tribuations until they
were safely on ship, and the vessel
was wrecked n mid ocean and they 20.
ing down for the third time. and excite
mcnt raised to one hundred above zero,
and then read these hcart-crUshn.
lines Of
80 b, continued In ourueXt"
Job may have had lii- troubles,
Aud felt the grief that Kills
Bat hc never read almost column OF
some long ding political icud. MUIR
der. assault a,sa-~ nations. earth
quake,. cyclones. toruadocS and .uch
ike missiles. and then found that all
these might have been prevented ii the
people had only taken
lIumaug's Jrhlaton Pius,
A man VIII drc,, .u hcrscymc,
His wife Will dom Jersey. q. $50.
lie tr.cs 90 save his cgsl,
She tries 10 cut a dash.
Both wil fail tLoagh thcy fcr-atere.
Apple pairing ,imc- az hand
Autumn's come. so fan oi JOYS,
Finest sport lu az tAr land.
Iuu u brings 30 girls aaI boys.
Many and many q gauC Is ayed,
one heart To- apotAcr'Il chime;
Sometimes here aye matche, made,
That's the best of pairing time
Badger and Gray" is thclgm %, She hue
my dear
Now It's a queer thing 10 say
That though Gray is only himself 81 is clear
Yet Badger IS always Gray
The maid sits by the dado,
Looking sweet and fair
youth who's quite du &C., oh,
Sits beside her chair
Bent pin in pauts-a decd, ola,
Enough 10 make dude swear
The boy who cut that dido
Has vanished IN thin air
Farmer shaking down the trees,
Making them think it's breeze.
Lady sitting at her ease.
Doin. whatsoever she il please,
Can you tell me. whi these two
Are alike Now tell me true.
You shah have the answer without much fur
thcr bother,
It. par time with the first, it's spare hnte
with the other.
-Goodal"s SuG
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

As Gen. Burnside's memory is to be
honored with fine equestrian statue;
Rhode Island people are remarking
that Senator Anthony also should be
the sub,cc of a public monument. His
grave is marked only by huge boulder
bearing plain bronze tablet.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

A man in West Virginia reports hav-
ing seen a snake forty feet long in the
act of swallowing sheep 1t be-
lieved that about two more drink, OF
the stu would have enabled him to
see sheep forty feet long ir the act OF
swallowing snake Norristown
Herald
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

The board of prison inspectors in
their report to the governor, commend
the discipline of the jackson prison VIII
the b. p. 5. please explain how it is
that rarely week passes that one or
more prisoners do not escape.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

A nine year old citizen of Newbury-
port is reported to have said to his
mother. who told him that his signing
the temperance pledge didn't amount
to anything: Maybe not, but if dad
had signed one when he was nine years
old it might have amounted to some.
thing.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

Judge Albion w. Tourgee, author OF
"A Fools Errand, has invented set
of harness consisting entirely of brass
and steel, out Of which he hopes to
make fortune that will reimburse him
for his losses in publishing the Con.
finnnt
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

4 citizen of Holydoke, Mass was
drinking at a bar with three com
panions, when his wife came in,
Joined the drinkers. and ordered
drinks for all hands. It is said that no
more cfTcctual way of breaking up a
drinking party was ever kdown in that
section
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

John McGregor California coach.
man has by the death Of an uncle in
England fallen heir to fortune of
100000. This is enough sight better
than running away with the daughter
of millionaire with an irasc,ble tenn.
Der
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

NJ IS Glider, the editor Of the Critic,
confesses that she does not know
whether to feel the most sympathy for
Miss Cleveland in her trouble, with the
publisher of Literary Life or with
President Cleveland in his annoyance
at BIS sisters being used as an adyer-
Using medium.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

The people Of Sew Brunswick y. J..
celebrated their centennial Sept. l.,
1854, but it has since been discovered
that they were fifty four years behind
time, two charters for the city having
been granted prior to 17Si The first
was by George H., Dee 30, 1889, and
the second in 1863
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

Susan b. Anthony longs for a chance
to air her sentiments in print, and that
without any reserve. With this object
in v'ew, she is angling for the editor
e.. p the st. Louis Magazine.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

Mrs. Francis Hodgson Burnett is in
Boston again after her visit to her
Washington home. She will probably
stay in Boston for the winter, and for
the first time in some years has laid
out not little literary work.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

In Sioux City, the Youngest of Iowa
towns, and At the present time pretty
near the most cn,crprising, they have
what they call IN "Epitaph Club. y
Ersrything good that 4 member of it
dos for the city, 70 advance rs growth,
or 10 add to its civilization or charity,
is treasured up by The people to be
placed on his epitaph nj death
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-19

Ladies are naugurating new aud strange
custom. They say thank you" when gentle
men give them seats In horsecars. --1Nep Hao,n
Ners
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-08-20

that boy time and again, I've whipped him until
the blood ran down into his boots. and Demo.
crat he would be. He is beyond redemption.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-08-20
THE CITY IN BRIEF.

Commission men are selling choice canteloupes
at from so to rs cents a barrel.
The net receipts from the Acton camp-meet
ing this year amounted to $500.
The National Revere Bank, of Boston. has
sued Russell, Sheen & Co., of this city, for So 0O0
claimed to be due on note.
Marriage licenses were issued yesterday to
Edward Brown and Florence Williams. James
H. Dodge and Amelia V. Homes.
The trustees of the Knightstown home met
at the Bates House yesterday. Bids for exca-
walton will be received next Thursday.
Aaron c. Smith, who assaulted King Houp
and Chon Foon, the chinese Landowner. on
Wednesday, was fined $40 and costs by the
Mayor yesterday.
VIM. T. Smith one Of the men arrested for
associatng with Redmond. who burglarzed
Seatons hat store. was discharged by the Mayor
yesterday, the evidence against him being insult
ficient to warrant his being held
The annual meeting of the Old Settlers Social
and Historical Association will be held at Oak
land Marion county. on Sept 4 j. W. Har-
vey, of this city. and Dr. A. F. Corey, of
Franklin, have charge of the arrangements.
The State house Commissioners received bids
yesterday for furnishing the State-house with
carpets, The bidders were Arnold e. CO. New
York; John Shiliito & Co., Cincinnati: Herman
Martins, w. H. Roll and Albert Gall, this city
Oscar Quear was arrested at Arcadia. yester-
DAY, on the cnargo OF using the mails fraudu-
ently, in advertising old coins for sale, when he
had none to SELL He was brought to this city
last night, and was taken before Commissioner
Van Buren,, who sent the prisoner to jail to await
preliminary hearing to day.
Warrants have been issued for the arrest of
Thomas Kelleher, Michael Delaney, William
Beaver, Michael Garman, Michael Moore. Will
liam Nelson. Larry Cavanaugh and Thomas
Davenport, who are charged with attacking the
saloon of John Logan. on South Missouri street,
on Sunday night and besides breaking the win
dcws and badly damaging the place, seriously
injuring the proprietor Davenport and Beaver
have been arrested, but the others are still st
large
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-08-20
OUTRAGES ON AMERICANS.
The Annoyances to Which Citizens of This
Country Are Subjected in Mexico.

N. Van Horn. we'll known attorney of this
city, who removed to Texas in the spring Of
1881, is here on a visit, accompanied by his wife
II am now living" said Mr.. Van Horn to a
Journal reporter, ''at Pecos City, on the Pecos
river, in direct line about hundred miles from
the Mexican frontier"
do you know anything about the Cutting
casea" inquired the reporter.
"Oh, yes, know Cutting very WE'LL While
he is not Daniel Webster, the newspapers have
not treated him fairly. / have met him a num-
Der of times, and it is my belief he is being done
an injustice when spoken of q worthless char
acter. In the first place, believe him to be a
gentleman; little forward, perhaps, at times,
as country editors sometimes ars, but he is GER
tainy not a bad man or a rufian. l never heard
word of that character concerning him until
saw it in Northern papers. He has made some
notoriety as a country editor, and is fiery kind
of person.
'As to the state of affairs along the border,
there have been many minor outrages, some of
them very erievous, however, against Americans
that we in Texas know of very we'll, but that the
government never hears about. ! know of four
men now working in Mexican mines at Zacetecas,
held AS prisoners and worked as slaves with the
poems. These men are American citizens, two
| Oh Lnem iOCOulOLiVS ouslHcors anu TWO ur6mou
In running their engines over the road in Mexico
| they unfortunately run over some drunken
Mexicans. Their punishmentis simply atrocious
under the circumstances
"Three weeks before left, an engineer. back
| ing his locomotive, ran over a Mexican. Know
| ing that he could have no fair investigation of a
simple accident, which was brought about by
| the Mexican's own carelessness, he jumped off
| his engine and secreted himself in the water
| tank of another engine, and was so brought
| fn vyhi oh
| American citizens are subjected in Mexico are
| without Number. They never bother an English
| man, and, to save trouble. Americans who have
| business over the border frequently pass them
| selves off SIS Englishmen.
| 1--WE folks down in Texas don't want war, but
! we do want the backbone of the administration
stffened, 80 that American citizens will be pro-
| tecred from Mexican Injustice"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-08-20
DISCUSSING SUNDAY. SCHOOL WORK.
Another Enjoyable and Profitable Day at the
Camp-Ground of Indiana Christians.

The State Sunday school Association contin-
asd its work, yesterday, at Bethany Park the
exercises growing in interest. Some of the best
talent of the church are assisting in this feature
Of the meeting. and it is in every way a sue
eess. The attendance was as large as
bould he expected during the middle
81 the week. and those who were present were
especially interested in the advancement of
Surday-school work. The normal lecture. de.
liyered by w. K. Pendleton was continuation
pf the subject OF the day previous Progressive
Revelation" taking his theme '.The
Jewish Dispcnsation.' These lectures
have proven especially instructive to
those interested in the Sunday-school work. as
the subjects we're treated with the view of
throwing light upon those features which are
frequently not understood. The subject for
the days discussion was 1.-The Sunday-school
Work and tie Workers" which was considered
nnder several heads. Organization the Secret
Of Success" was treated in bright ad-
Workers. Canyassing and Visiting Com
mittees1 by B. L. Smith. of Terre
Haute; preparation of Lessons. Teachers
Meetings and Personal Research" by Mrs w
H. IL Graham. Of Charlottesville; Com
mentaries, Should they be Sectaranl' by Miss
Cora Campbell. of Danyile; Music, Its Import
ancs in the Sunday -school," by John G.. Blake.
II Indianapolis; obstruction and Application, "
By President Benton, of Butler University, and
"Order of Exercises By e. L. Frazier, of Ko-
keno.
Arrangements have been made to have train
rave here AT o'clock on Sunday for Bethany
ark, returning. 10 leave the park at $50 p NJ
1nawmm.n.zu.zurunnz<~nsz<~.sxsznu