davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27


their mustaches. Fifty or hundred years
ago young mems heads were covered with q
stock of hair. while their boards were silky
and immature. Now they go around with
nothing but ten dollar beaver hats to cover
the shining area over their ears and their
boards grow like weeds in Harlem lot
DIR. Hammond predicts that bald headed
young men will soon be in the vast MAORI
ty. Then, as evolution gets in its work,
they will be the rule. The child of the
future with a head like q billiard ball will
stand before the picture of his ancestor and
wonder what kind of an animal he was.
When all men are hairless the heads of
the college professor and of the pugilist
will be Identical, but one will bristie with
the bumps Of his own knowledge and the
other with bumps of the other pugilis:'s
superior knowledge. The slim of that
period will have his scalp covered with
pictures by the best artist, Meissonier be-
hind his ear, a B0ugereau OIL his forehead
and Canabal on the back of his head.
When favorite danseuse will trip ont on
the tips of her little toes she will see her
portrait on all the heads IN the first row be-
fore the f00tllght& Even the present cory
phees, who have already seen great changes,
will probably live to be SO honored by some
very young men. 81
When man falls In love it will be deli.
cate compliment to paint or tattoo his In
amorata's name over the frontal suture of
his Uranium That will make IN engage
meut more binding. Fashions will have
been. evolved then, too. Black linen shirts
will be all the rage and scaiioped sky scrap
ing collars will form pleasing frames to the
chef d'9uvres on a swelps head In Y
1fayY1;,,0 Jogsy3,uJ
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27

m income of ten thousand francs a
year; that own a beautiful villa in the
country and hotel in Paris. Please
record also that I am of noble birth.
my family coat of arms being three
clover leaves under a lion rampant in
an azure field. Also state tfat tender
my hand to Madame -. Just put it
down."
His Honor laughed. The Baroness.
who was a wealthy widow, smiled and
blushed. They will be married next
Sunday.-From the French, in Teras
Siflings.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27
YOUTH RENEWED.

ssJ wish I were boy again"
So sighed n man o'crtGsked;
And fate was at his elbow then
And granted what he ASKED.
Reduced again to boyhoods size,
He found himself once more
The aspirant for many prize
That he had lost before.
His scboolmates all around him pressed,
And work and play went on,
But still he felt his youthful zest
For toll or sport was gone.
The lessons that were easy once
We're now more hardly done;
He felt himself the very Ounce
That he had called his son.
The plumbers that he made of old
He now avoids at will;
But others. graver. deadlier, hold
Their ties about him still.
The lads around look on and quiz
This Scion gone to school
They think that all his caution is
The wisdom of fool!
Things are not always what they seem.
And when the man awOke
From what was but fevered dream
In altered tones he spoke:
"Life's rule is easily understood
We may not live again;
But boyhood's days for boys are good,
And manhood's days for menu
Ladies' Journal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27
ODE TO A~cow.

o animule which gives us milk
Kun lisun to mi tale!
Thi bridul harcs is soft as SILK,
sThi flood fills the pale.
Full oft I saw thi graceful tail
A shakin' OF the fiiz.
And D, to set forninst q rale
And gaze into hi ize.
O, rapturus beastI 1wud that
Kud rome with thee from da to da;
never moro wud hev 81,
but watch the eat thi corn and ha-
-CfeCeidnd Leader.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

Many men seek the truth, but they
don't seem to give it away when they
find it.-Bloonrington Eye.
Counterfeit thousand-dollar bills
are getting very common. Look out TOR
them.-Desroit Free Press.
Children under the age of seven
prefer yellow to any other color. Most
grown up people also have hankeSing
after yellow. Gold is yellow. = :
"A couple in Acworth, Ga, were
recently Joined in wedfock while stand
ing on tombstone in a cemetery. This
was too much-two tomb much.-N0r-
ristoton Herald.
"A young couple were married by .
Justice in Lewistown, Me-, in feed
store, which the Justice of the Peace
owned The bride was pretty, and both
principals were from the country and in
wedding attire.
Good morning, Mrs. Gilligan;
how is Patrick this morningp" "Sure
he's no better. SIR" ssWhy don't you
send him to the hospital to be treatedf"
ITO be treated. IL itP Faith an its the
delarium trimmins he has already. -
Boston Beacon. ~
Jim, /" said an honest coal dealer
to one Of his drivers: Jim, make that
ton Of coal two hundred pounds short.
1t is for poor. delicate widow, and as
she will have to carry all Of it up two
flights Of stairs, don't want her to
overtax her strength. - Chicago Jour-
~wife-Thersl the paper says that
the Redwood family, out IN the Yosem-
tie Valley, are often seen with trunks
forty feet in dialneter. Now. don't you
ever complain Of the size of my trunks
again, Richard. These Redwood aren't
much of . family either never heard
of them 7sd6ffs.
"A delicate little girl. just returned
from . farm where she had been
sent to spend the summer for her
health, said: THE pump out there
gives milk" ''It doesa" asked the
mother. Eyes, saw the farmer pump
in a can, and / looked in it and saw
nothing but milk. Pick. e set-
Don't show me any more of your
impudence!'' exclaimed the irate shop
per to the salesman; s'don't let me see
your face again when come in herer'
"Yes'm,' he replied with an ingratia-
ting bow; is there anything else you
would like to look at, memP" Force
Of habit; he couldn't help it, you know.
--Boston Trovc-tpt. 1Ufx
--Bowles, the English poet, was noted
for his Observation-Disclosures. He was in
the habit 81 daily riding through q
country turnpike-gate. and one day,
when he was on foot, he presented, as
usual, his twopence to the gate-keep-
err. what Is that for?" he asked.
For my horse, of course" "But. sir,
you have no horse" Dear mer' ex-
claimed the astonished poet, "am /
walkingr
lin archery . bow pulling thirty
pounds is considered the correct thing
for ladies. But we have known young
ladies of very delicate constitution and
physique to pull beau weighing ESQ
pounds from one division of the city to
its antipodes. and that seven nights in
the week Chicago Telegram.
Depends on the shoulder
He sew her first At the garden gate.
Six months ago.
Her charming face was ~ pure a. snow,
And his heart was caught In the golden dew
Ofthe Yingiets OF ssucy Kate.
He cav her last With her shapsly head,
Two a0urs ago,
On manly shoulder nesting low:
AND, seen 'gsinst the cheek q another bean,
- That hafI wes only red.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27
THE HAIRLESS AGE.

Scalp Locks Rapidly disappearing from
Mems Heads-Dr. Hammond, the Fa-
NOUS Surgeon. Dlscourses upon the Prob
able Future of the Inhabitants of Amer
leu.
The coming man will have no hair. NJ
bangs or curls will adorn the club man who
takes trip up Fifth avenue few hun
dred years hence on the Jake Sharp bal.
loon line.
The masculine child's nurse of A. D. 21S5
will be bald as q skating rink. The
museum of the future will conta In tuft Of
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27
A WISE FATHER.
How the Crown Prince of Germany Con.
quered His Stubborn Son.


The Crown Prince of Prussia was
always-a very sensible man in the
management Of his household, and he
is ably seconded by his wife. On one
occasion the governor of his children
came to. him and sai,;
"Your Highness. must complain of
the little Prince; he refuses to have his
face washed in the morning"
docs he?' answered the Crown
Prince. We'll remedy that. After
this let h;ni 90 uEwasaed."
at shall DE done, said the governor.
Now the sentries have to salute every
member of the royal family-children
and all--whenever they pass. The day
after, the little four yea-old Prince
went out for a waik with his governor.
As they passed sentry-box where a
grim soldier stood the man stood rigid
without presenting arms. The little
Prince-accussomed TO universal defer
ence-looked di,p,eased, but said moth
ing Presently another sentry was
passed Neither did this one give sign
of recognition. The little Prince
angriiy spoke of it to his old governor,
and they passed in. And when the
walk was finished, and they mad met
many soldiers. who none of them saluted
the Prince. the little fellow dashed in to
his father exclaiming:
"Papa-papa--you must whip every
man in your guards! They refuse to
salute when lpassr'
"Ah! my son" said the Crown Prince.
''they do rightly: for clean soldiers
never salute dirty little Prince"
After that the boy took shower bath
every morning.-San Francisco Ingle-
side.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27

Since 1916 the Government has
spent the snug sum of 1925. 600, 900 in
taking care of the noble red man, not
counting the cost of killing o. hunting
him with the military. Chicago Her.
aid.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-03-27

nave iustut Vi yourself.
Complainant-True love is never dis
r0nraged. Ycr, / followed her wherever
SIZE want. Learned yesterday that she
was going to move away. SO there was
no time to be lost. Driven to despair,
registered solemn vow, about six
O'Clock this morning, that would tell
her Of my love before the sun sank to
rest behind the western hills. When
attempted to explain my emotions on
the street she repealed my advances.
She refused to listen to me. Then
being in despair, accused her of theft
and had her brought before your Honor.
Judge-That was the act of lunatic.
Complainant-Perhaps it was. But
your Honor will concede that il was
crowned with success I have AZ last
had an opportunity to tell her that
loved her for herself alone. Thanks to
your Honor, she has been obliged to
listen to me-. God bless your Honor for
il. Heaven will reward you for it, and
! will not forget it. 7
The Judge looked at the Baroness,
who blushed, and looked down ON the
floor.
Eyes, your Honor" continued the
complainant, you will place it on
record in this case that I am twenty
FIVE years old. and rather good-lodking;
the only son of my parents, who dote
on me. Make 4 note Of it that I have
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
PERSONAL.

Mrs Langtry will sail for this country from Liverpool
by a Cunard Line steamer on September IL.
Professor II. II. Boyesen. who with his family
occupies for the summer cottage on the" Gin at
Nantucket, Is engaged in writing novel, to be pub
llshed during .be fall.
Dr. Douglass General Grants friend and physician, Is
spending the quietly in town In his nat IN the
Bella apartment house. He was benefited by his trip
South last spring but has not yet entirely recovered
from the strain endured throughout General GRANTS
long Illness
The Rev. Charles II. A. Dali, whose death at Calcutta
has been announced began his missionary labors In 81;
Louis here worked with and lived in the family OF
the Rev Dr. Eliot day the Elios had just sat down
case vel =! snatched tho dish of roast meat fri "a the
table and rusod away again, to give 1t to poor amy
he had dscoy cred.
The late Archbishop Guibcr o. Paris observed his VOW
OF Poverty 70 the end of his fe and slept on any
thing better than mattress la a barely
furnished room.
The late Captain Weir. United States Army, was
drilled in the awkward squad OF the 9TH Regiment
with Generals Rodney c. Ward and MOlineux During
the greater part OF tho confinement OF Jen DAVIS zap
tain Weir was Post Adjutant al Fortress Monroe
The Rev DR.. John g. Oakley, pastor OF the Church OF
the Saviour will leave NewYork Monday in company
with the Chaplain OF the Senate and the Rev. f. NJ Car
ton for Francisco They intend to visit tue osem
ite the Yellowstone ParK and the Garden OF the Iod
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24

ton of individual rights and property were as
sailed, and they meant to massacre the ponce'
us they did. What capitalists hao any '"'"s
to do with the business?
In the same sense, half-crazed creatures I''h
of :" the capitalistic press y OF tins ci'y' ""''
do they mean Any press that has not cap
italist of some sort behind it, whether IL "u'o-
cafes the interests of dynamitcrs, OF SOCIALISTS,
of trades unions. of unorganized hboiers, or Oh
ennloyers. is n poor sort of thing, not capaple
of cxerting much influence tor goou Vi c'n'
The people who pirate about the capi'iis'io
moss do NOT want n press without any capital.
They do NOT imagine that such a press would
IL, of any use in them. What do they mean
Or are they so far befogged by Their own p'g
vo,ds that they do not know what they mean
In vague and dim way, these persons are
aware that all civilized society, as AT present Or
panized. is hostile to them and their designs.
All civilized society upholds the llSht oi ulc
man who has earned and saved anything 10
fire fruits of his labor and sel-denlai. IL Is
pufectly aware that it could not exist, Oil''
halbarism would come instantly, IL IL dld hoI
UNFOLD the rights of those who earn ana save
To the persons who want to live without clrh-
ing and saving, civilized society Is necessarily
hostile. and they know it. Thus they are angry
at civilized society, and ut all Order and defend
ers of order, and particularly at the ponce anu
lie public Journals Because the police defend
in their property rights those who have earned
and saved anything, the Anarchists denounce
fine notice as the tools of capital. Because the
public journals uphold the rights OF every man
who has earned and saved, against the lazy and
thievish who would live without earning and
saving, they ale denounced as I" the capltillstc
press"
What a man earns and saves is OF no Use 10
him. unless he is protected Ill the Tree ENJOY
mcnt and employment of it. He might better
throw it into the sea than invest 1t Ill Il man
llfacturing establishment and then dlye't NM
self of all right to choose what men he VIII
employ. or what wages he will pay. Capital
would not be saved that is to say Labor would
starve if the owners Of capital had not the
right so 20 employ it as to gain something by
ils use. Every worker has an ambition to be
come an employer; To save enough To set up
business for himself As soon a. he does tlS,
he becomes a capitalist, and then he realizes
Il at he does not want to throw away What he
has earned and saved, nor to risk 1t without
p;oht If he cannot employ labor at some safe
prcft for his capital, he declines to employ
labor at all. and waits. That Is just what many
c;,pitali,ts are doing now, because OF the I'M
reasonable demands of workers, ana thc con
duct of Ew-bleakers and Anarchists Inc re-
suits of that state of things are not DehoiicIli
to honest laboIers of any sort
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
TETER4NS BACK From ALBANY.
DELIGHTED WITH THEIR HosPITADLE RECEPTION
THE TIDE OF TRAVEL EBBs.

DELIGHTED WITH THEIR HOsPITABLE RECEPTION
THE TIDE OF TRAVEL EBBs.
Ii was a rather sleepy LOT OF men that came
off Of the Albany nigh boat yesterday morning Ihey
were the returning veterans Of the 9TH Regiment VINO
had beeu tramping over twenty odd miles OF Albany
movements in aud able effort to help the capai out III
Its bi.centennal celebration.
We've had a royalty good time" said Colonel VIM
chester and have returned without loss or Sceiieh
Ne shall not the hospitality OF Albany anu Oh our
entertainers the Burgess Corps, until Dceh'enni''S
cease to be- In all thirty five years haru seeo az
,arsdlug never saw such an orderly, well.dre'srd'
clean-looking crowd rs the one We msrcheH 'n'o"S"
vs,,srday There was a rowdy along the whole ilAo
of march, aud IL was awfully long line, too
ON the WAY up the odd boys" made things IveIy Oh
IN. hoat First, Cappas band serenaded the captain Oh
their gallant ship. Then they serenaded the moon III.
oslv they were put under tried b. courmar'a
, co,d ahmed 10 serenade each OF the oncetr OF mo
corn. The renalty was paid IN full. 10 the utter at
OF sleep The veterans were too tired Tor any
hin, Of that kind on their way back, however 10y
AMY sat upon the decks long enough TO vie" mo u'N
acsnt fireworks that beng set of In WASHINGTON
Park. Then. whe" t a",,ed i"'' away toward tho
oar,ta"' the tired voyagers turned H. tna Na
mi that the sImirable arransemehIs Oh ,ors s
astcr had provided them win snch con- ii
pu"l.s. rners were many the boat VINO "ouio
- given a great deal OF money Tor those sano I'm
Portable quarters People were " ns a.. I'VE nm their
az ami several families we're rescued lO 49,
M sery Dy the veterans. who yielded their st"'eio
up s e nbbed out OF Albany yesterday and lei, .hs
n,nnlstIon nearer meanwater marx than II Jas I'm.
Tor a week The Delaware anu HUDSON n' ~ hany
80, mayed a.. 900 people from Troy a,oho nv
pan ,rs,sv and back az ain during the evening" an
yasisriay morning Tue west shore road rsn o vera
t"aat lawn 10 tb gu lrds with human freighs AM Wv
Central trains we're much heavier than usu'"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
THE DYNAMITE Ga USE.

Representative Collins, OF Boston, object,
TO the dynamite clause of the new Treaty on
the ground that it is supertiuou>. lie states
that all the outIagcS of this kind committed i'll
London have fallen within the category of ex-
tladilible chimes included i'll the Treaty Of
1S42. These plots against life and property
involve mdrder and arson and consequently
in his Judgment, can be dealt with effectively
under the existing law, and a modification of
il is not needed, at all events until the British
Government have attempted to Secule the eX-
tradition of dynamite criminals under Ii and
have failed to accomplish their object.
This objection is not well grounded The
offence OF wantonly destroying, OF OF malicious
" attempting TO destroy, public or private prop
clty with dynamite woald be lnadeguatey de-
fined as either murder or arson. 1t is com
pound crilne with characteristics that invest 1t
with All individuality OF its own. II the tenth
clatse of the Treaty of 1912 had provided ior
the surrender of dynamite criminals so a>tutr Il
lawyer ~ Lord Iicrschcll, who aided Mr.. Phelps
i'll pcliecting the new convention, would not
have inserted the words Malicious injuries
10 property whereby the life OF amy person shall
be endangclcd' Thee have been attempts OF
tbs kind in London in which the damage from
explosion was trivial and thee was no loss OF
lifc-nOt man, woman ol child injured. The
evidence would not have Sustained ii charge OF
nmdel OF arson yet the British coults, Ii those
guilty of the outrage had been ARRESTED, would
have sentenced them TO penal Servitude toi
life. The TACT that special statute WAS passed
10y Parliament, imposing exceptional penalties
for dynamite out ages, indicates that the Oldl-
nary laws relating 10 murder and arson were
inadequate The provisions Of the old Treaty
were equally ineffective.
1t would be more reasonable for the Boston
C.ngI o. ann to take the ground that the new
Treaty desig1mtcs Il novel crime of recent origin
that is not defined in the United States statutes,
and c,Iuently cannot be made at present II
ground for international action. If the Treaty
be ritih.d, Congress will be under obligations to
pass an act making malicious injury 20 prop
e,ty whereby the life OF any person shall be
endangered" a penal offence. The statutes OF
certain States may refer definitely to the crime,
but il is unknown TO the Federal statutes. As
the treaty provides that the injuries shall con
stitute IA crime according To the laws of both
contracting partier,' it will be necessary, III
order to render the new clause operative, To in
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
CAPT. VINO SAFE

Big words sometimes conceal ideas, and some
times bciog the people who ure them. One
gets IA curious glimpse into the state of mind
which prevails somewhat widely among work
ers, in cAding the testimony against the boub-
muldcrels at Chicago. These Infamous
creatures, if appears gloated over the uldcI-
oils missivcs a. coed fodder for the capital
lists, and the police who might Try to protect
the capitalists. But what was meant by
the capitalists :" These conspintors IN
tended to diaw Il crowd i'll iii open lot They
knew that besides laborcis of different solts
hardly anybody except street lG.lcis would at
tend But they expected the police 10 inter
feIe when laws and government for the protcc-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
Mp SOTO GOING TO COSTA RIGA.

Fx-president Soto, of Honduras, acconpah',u
,, or.,.rv Joaouln Palma. sailed for Colon on wv
.r.mship Acapulco yesterday on their way 70 ,Sss
Rca Mr. Soto said to reporter OF TUE ihiboas
ma Wait TO Central America had political sr tax.
us , W. w.nt merely To make arrangements ~ ,ats
out tn', no ,".ta RIGA next winter. a. TINS 80
al not agree with the health OF hise war. AT Sne
number OF prominent ConIrAi A"''''
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
Astu21ork Dailu Tribmne
FOUNDED BY HORACE GREELEY.
SATURDAY, JULY ~, 1886.
THE NEWS THIS MORNING.

FoRrIGN-Views of a Liberal Unlonist on the
political situation in England. - Nerdlct
against Sir Charles Dixie in the Crawford divorce
case - The Eclipse Stakes won by Bendlgo
- Government defence IN the case of the Ella
NJ Doughty 60 Cutting still in a Mexican
jail
CoxGREss.-Both branches in session. - Sen
ate: Decision not to investigate the Payne bribery
case bv a vote of "A to IL - House Senate
amendments to the OleOmargarine bill agreed TO-
- Lively debate on the New-York HarDor APP
propriation. - Chairman Turner's game
spolled - The Morrison resolution.
DoMlsIIC.-New testimony about the pomo-
throwers in Chicago. 60 A girl brutally muir
dercd al Franklin. Ohio == Searching 1Or the
murderer of Matte Randall at Morris, Conn. -
A conflict between ranchmen and farmers looked
1or IN Texas 60 Explosion of q dynamite bomb III
Chicago GO The Washington Park races. -
TO organize County Democracy III Boston.
CITY AND SUBURBAN.-"S Steve" Brodle jumped
from the Bridge III safety. - The Rev. Mt. van
Den Broak sent to iaIl. GO A receiver for the
Navarro apartment houses applied for - An
niyersary of General Grants death 60 Need OF
a new General Sessions COURTROOM. - New
Yorks beaten by Phladelphlas, Brookiyns by Louis
yilles and tho Nets by ST. Louis. =" Cod value
of the legal-tender silver dollar 412l2 grains),
C124 cents 80 Stocks dull and generally lower,
closing weak In figures
1HE WEATHER-lndlcatiOns for to-day: warm
or. fair weather followed by light rams lempefa-
ture yesterday Highest. So; lowest. oo0;
ayerape -3o
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24
Amusements.

1,,cu OYxxl HcUsS-2 and s-Humoug.
Sssxo-2 aad s-Erminie
SnrN MUsEE-WaxwOrkA
fRAsTISA wOoDs-Wid West -,
X ,nrsoN SQUARE IHkATRR-2 and S:S0-Princt Karl
GxDIsoNAvE AND 59THsT.-9a q. IN. to IL y. m-Merr-
mac and Monitor Naval Battle
MANHATTAN BEACH-Pains Burning OF Moscow
NFW CENTRAL PARK GARDEN-S-COncert
eIINI GHoRGE-Fairv Land Concerts
EuI-AvE AND 55rILsT.-9 a. to IL n m.-The NO"
Cyclorama OF the Battles Of vicksburg
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-07-24

rather more scandalously bad language used at the
Capitol than is usual. Perhaps 1T is the hot
weather. But whatever it was. both Senators ana
Representatives should stop short. They are not
hurt ing the Nations good name Of course; but
their own regulations are suffering.