Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1886-07-30
LIGHTS IND SHADOWS.

III inch. al@3@.s.
LIGHTS AND SHADOWS.
SAM JONES says he would rather play ''seyen-up
for 30 game than deal in futures. ."-Exchange.
That will do for Sam to say, but you will OBJ
serve that he keeps right on dealing in futures at
about $500 night.
Mr.. INGALLS, recently introduced bill to
purify the society of Washington and the Dis
trict of Columbia. We have not seen a text of
the BILL but suppose, of course, that it provides
for the removal of the national capital.
THE Yankton papers announce that q num-
Der Of drinking fountains are to be established
in that town on the main street. With the lux
uriant growth of grass on the street, nothing
could be more appropriate than few fountains.
Now if they will plant trees, the street can be
used as park and will not look SO much like a
useless waste of unoccupied land.
"RED River TOMS Cow Boy Brass Band" is
announced as one of the attractions in "Cole's
Colossal Show" This must be the band that the
people of Fargo had play in the park each even
ing as the passenger train passed through, and
which was spoken of by the newspapers of that
city as ''the splendid combination of musical ar
lists, each one bright and peerless STAR" II it
is, it will give the right kind of music for the
stage robbing scene.
.s. SWORN OFF.
Here, hold this, pard-this dusty half-6lled
bottle; d
You'll know it by its bulgin', jagged vein;
We got it late, just as your husky throttle
Was belchin' forth some bacchanalian strain.
An here's the thin and musical wine glasses.
An here the goblets that so oft have rung
While songs of buccaneers and sweet-lipped
lasses
In revelry and discord have been sung.
Old friend, these glasses small, that hold the
whisky,
Take them away forever from my view,
For cen their sight now make me kind O. frisky
An voices whisper ''here's look at you."
This corksorew, bent and orumpled, an half
broken,
You'll keep it sacred, jest for Charlie's sake,
Because, as you remember, 'tis token
His brother kindly gave me at the wake.
These Sidletz powders, settlers an vile bitters
That have kept for headaches in the morn
Take all; for now they are but useless litter,
L
An now. old boy, in promise to the purest
Little gal that ever won fellows heart,
bid farewell to Gquor-and the surest
Way to keep it, is for you and me to part
What's that2 Now, say-you must be foolin'-
My "Spike-tail'' won the races at the fair?
An won against the jedges Qverrulin'?
An threw the driver high into the air?
Hurrah! then let us have the sparklin' liquor,
That may do hehonors of the hour;
An here's to you and yours, old Spike-tail
. kicker;
To you more glory, an your limbs, more power.
An here's to him. the gallant little rider!
!. This un We'll take to wash the others down;
And this to him who next may set astride her
Ny little spike-tailed, white-faced chestnut
brown" .i. 49,.
Andso they filed the halls with joyous clinking
Until with slight impediment and cough
The host exclaimed, why, boys swon, I'm
drinking
Goldarn my skin, thought-hic-rd sworn
off p
SUCH is L1FE-1Ss3
BooMTowN. July 18th, 1888.
DEAR FATHER: Here I am in the great and
boundless northwest, with glorious future be-
fore me. This is indeed the gardenland of Amer
ica,, the wonderland of the world. Crops Dire the
finest in the world, and every farm is q beautiful
picture of prosperity and happiness. I have
taken claim-one of the finest in the territory
have purchased splendid lot of machinery and
horses, and will be married next month to as
sweet and lovely young lady as ever blessed the
life of man. The band is playing in the park and
as look out into the purple west at most mag
nifcient aud enchanting sunset, wonder why
did not sooner learn of the beauties and attrac-
tions of this bounteous land. Would not sell my
claim for $5,0 600. Your loving son,
WILLIAM.
IFE-1866.
BooMTowN, July 18th, 1855.
DEAR FATHER: must ask you once more for
a little assistance, as the mortgage on my horses
and machinery will be foreclosed in few days
unless [ pay the interest. We have been two
months without rain and the country is fairly
baked. will not have over three bushels of
wheat to the acre. and it cost me six dollars per
acre to raise this. The grass is all dried up and
my cattle are dying; a cyclone struck our house
last week, and we are now living in the stable.
The dog died of thirst last evening while chasing
blackbirds along the banks of Silver creek which
is dried up. My wife has been crying for the last
week because cannot buy her new cream silk
parasol; the baby has got the measles and chicken
pox; we have nothing to eat but dried apples and
salt my hired man has been sued for breach Of
promise by girl that weighs 200 pounds and
snores. I've got "a oarbuncle on my neck and a
felon on my thumb: the minister will be at our
house tomorrow, and taken all together, I think
the country has gone to the devil. ,&t
Your loving son, WILLIAM.