The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-02-20
How to Write Up a Society Ball.


 We are surprised that the New York daily papers that report society events dc not display more enterprise. It is true the names of the ladies who attend balls are given, and their clothes, at least their outside garments, are described with con siderable minuteness, but why stop there Alter the average reader has received that much information he naturally yearns for more. After being told what lady puts on the outside many readers would like to know what she puts on in the inside Why not publish what each lady ate for supper, how much of it she ate, and how it agreed with her2 live should ever be called upon to report an Austin ball we will instruct our society reporter to do it in the following style, which we com. mend to the metropolitan daily press:
 Miss Esmerelda Longcoffin wore a handsome costume of pearl white satin and wool. The dress was made dancing length, with douffant sash drapery. She got away with two plates of chicken soup, and gracefully threw herself outside of three or four pounds of boiled redsnapper la Hollandaise, which she moistened copiously with pint of Haut Sauternes. Miss Longcoffin Is good feeder. She did good work among the vegetables, Her favorite legumes are pommes de terre and billed cabbage. Esmerelda knows what's good when she smells it, and then she makes wholesale invest ments.
 Miss Birdie McGinnis wore light blue satin, the sides of the dress being panels of blue brocade. The train was long and square, and punches of mermet and nephetos roses were in her hair and cor. sage. On the inside, she was lined with canned termatesses, pie with sauce Ital- ienne, clans, beer, galeaux assortis and other bric-a-brac. Miss Birdie bites off a good deal, but never more than she can chew. Her powers of digestion are cal- culated to excite the envy of an ostrich.
 Mrs. Colonel Percy Yerger was regally clad ID black velvet. The dress was a princesse, with round court train. The corsage was square, and she wore neck lace of diamonds and turquoises, with a large pendant solitaire. At head and shoulders were punches of ostrich feath- CTS, silvered, and clusters of diamonds fastened the bows Of ribbon velvet on the shoulder. She created much devastation among the asperges au beurre and pick les, having previously hidden away under her corsage five petits pates la Parisienne. She got stalled on her third plate of sauerkraut. Mrs. Yerger didn't do justice to herself on this occasion. She was not well. She subsequently, rallied and toyed with the Charlotte Russe, but it was evident she had lost her grip.
 Mrs. Judge Peterby wore pale pink China silk, diamond necklace and brace lets, with Marie Antoinette collar and trimmed with pink mermet roses and clusters of ostrich plumes. She went home before the entertainment was half over. Mrs. Peterby would never in- dulge in mixed pickles to excess They contain copper and are unhealthy at this season of the year.
 Mrs. Schaumburg wore pale pink striped satin over a skirt of white tulle, draped and held in place by clusters of roses. Across the breast was hung a chain of magnificent diamonds, and soli- taires glistened in her ears and hair. She excited considerable comment by the rapidity and ease with which she slowed away slabs of cold ham. Rebecca made it hot for the cold ham.
 Some captious critics may contend that this style of reporting leans just a little toward vulgarity. They are right. That is the direction in which the daily press
 inclined to lean, and in reporting not nly what clothes ladies wear, but also hat they eat, we claim scoop on the society editor of the New York daily