Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-07
BLIGHT BITS.

THE messenger boy is not exactly q re-
porter, but he takes notes.-Free PreSs.
my Thousand Dollar Smile" is the title of
poem in an exchange. Some DRINKS are
pretty expensive, that's a fact.-NOrrist0aOn
Herald.
"YEs," observed Mrs. Crap, 1--WE kinder got
tired OF gas. and now we're going to have the
house lit with clandestIne electric lights."-
Velc Karen Neacs.
BgowN-what's the matter with you and
Robinson, Dumley9 hear that he has threat
ened TO pull your ears the first chance he gets.
Dumley jnmping mp and down)-He will,
will he? Pull my ears? Vol. you can bet
your sweetlife he'll have his hands full.-Neao
York Sun.
OMAHA MAN-So Milwaukee has a summer
school Of philosophy, the same as Conoord2
Milwaukee Map-Yes. indeed. We long
have been noted for culture, you know.
cipIeS"
"Just exactly. We even send to Boston for
the beer. "-0mahG World.
II SEE they have dug up mastodon in
Michigan"
"Regulation sort?"
Eyes; has tooth twelve and a half inches
across the top and seven inches long"
unjust have been dentists mode!2"
you're way of; he was the frat Michigan
once seeker. "-BOsiors Record.
II DON'T think much Of that fellcr Brown
you introduced me to the other night.'
him?"
''Oh. you can argue with him all day long
and you can't convince him of the simplest
point. He makes me sick.'
makes you sick1 An, yes, see. In other
WORDS, he dlsagrees with you."-Aerchant
Tr0geler.
A BRIGHT little girl who seldom needed Sc
we're reprimand was recently reproved for a
disturbance ut the table. Much surprised at
the severity of her mothers tones. she sus-
pended her lively performances, which had
caused trouble, and looked from father to
mother TO see II lurking smile might soften
the som breness OF the occasion. Then, with
a grieved tone, she said: Papa looks as If he
had just taken medicine"
GREAT Literary Critic-who was it started
the fashion among noted authors of every
now and then printing a novel anonymously2
Great Publisher-It began in Boston, be-
| lieve.
"wen, the inventor of that idea ought to be
hung" ,..,.,.,o.,
"larm Great Scott! How is critic to
| decide what TO say about book if he doesn' t
know who wrote its"-00ldha World.
LAWYER Ito timid young womanJ-Have
! you ever appeared US witness in a suit before?
Young woman (blushing)-Y-yes, sir, of
course.
Lawyer-Plesse state to the jury just what
suit it was.
Young woman with more confidence 1T
and trimmed with lovely blue, with hat to
| match
Judge trapping violentlvl-Order in the
court.-Kdnsos Ctty Journal.
A VICABIoUs ssUFFERER.-"Good- mornin',
mi.sus; could you neip poor sufferer by the
| Charleston earthquake"
Are you one of themW
"Yes'm."
''But how could you have reached Chicago
| so soon after the disaster?'
Opium -er--vou see, mum, Pm not eX-
actiy bodily sufferer by tue earthquake-I
| wus here IN Chicago when it happeBed-but
| suffer in my heart, mum, fur them as was
| driven IN their homes"
| MURAT HALsTEAD-Have you noticed that
| old Bill Blckham has been trying to pick a
! fuss with me?
Friend-Yes. and his malgnance has be-
| come unbearable.
! Halstead-Do you suppose he would fight
me if were to issue him formal challenge
| 10 combatY
Friend-He is pretty gamy old fellow, and
| think he would.
Halstead-Then tell him. sir. for me, that,
| considering the source of his calumnies,
| overlook them in contempt.