davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
how HE GOT EVEN.

Last year a Mississippi farmer sold
country merchant bale OF cotton.
The country merchant marked ana
shipped it to his cotton factor in New
Orleans, where it was sold for expectation
and finally found its way to Manchester,
England.
When the bale was opened by the spin
cer IL was found to contain the hal1 a
grndstone weighing about fifty pounds.
OF course the spinner made reclamation
through his American buyer on the
New Orleans merchant, and that party
in like manner made reclamation on the
Mississippi merchant. the piece OF grind
stone accompanying the demands as
voucher
When It had cached Mississippi there
was pasted on it slip Of paper giving Its
weight and history of its voyage.
The Mississippi merchant was some
what timtd and hesltated to charge the
farmer with fraud in false packing, 80
he concluded to abide his time.
About a In onth ago this farmer came 10
town with more cotton 10 sell, but the
merchant declined to buy it, saying That
no was not IN the market that day, but
that he would te glad to sell him any
thing In his line at bottom prices, in TACT,
$50 sheep as never pefore vas.
When the farmer had sold his cotton
and priced goods at other stores ne re-
turned to the first merchant, and, nnd-
ing prices so much below those OF other
merchants, he bought quite bill from
him, among other things barrel OF
sugar at one cent per pound less than
to be had elsewhere.
Nowwas the chance to get even, so he
filed the barrel himself, placing the
piece OF grlndstone in the middle. The
/ iarmcr placed his purchases on his Wagon
and carried them home.
A few days ago, while measuring on
some of the sugar for his farm hands, hi
scoop struck something hard, and upol
investigation he discovered and recog
nized the piece Of grndstone.
He took it out of the barrel ana rea'
the inscription on 1t, to which the mcf
chant had added.
"Vivdy bound ov schugar safed, !
vivdy bound ov cotting losht-don ' ID
Il Detroit Free Press.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
CHANGE OF WEATHER.
The Dude As n Butcher

He came into butcher shop and asked
for half pound of mutton chops. 1t
was unmstakable that his business ne
cesstated his calling "ca-a-sh' quite
frequently. AS the man o: the cleaver
sawed. cut, and chopped, the purchaser
remarked In a weak kneed voice:
Avn l was a butcher once myself"
.You q butcher" said the sausage
compounder contemptuously.
Yes. aw. You, see, went into the
business, aw, and they first told me
to hold a sheep down on the floor.
don't you know, and, good ged, they
stuck knife right into the poor
beasts throat. l, aw. tainted. and,
when ] came to, left the hawwid
business, aw, and now sell dry goods.
Just as he got his purchase the door
was opened and the sudden draft blew
him out on the street.-lDetroit Free
Press.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
Particular as to His Appearance.

Tramp Ito gentleman)-Say., boss,
can't YOU give fellow lift? haven't
had anything to eat since yesterday
morning, Can't you give me fifteen
cents? :,
Gentleman-No but il you'll go around
to the kitchen, they'll give you somo-
thing to eat.
Tramp-Well, boss, I'd like to obliGo
you. but couldn't think OF presenting
myselt before the ladies until l got a
clean shave.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
MIDDLE-AGED MEN.
Notice of Forfeiture.

TO W. NJ. wHADAMS, AND ALL WHOM 1T
MAY CONCERN:
You are hereby notified that we have expended
one hundred dollars in labor and improvements
upon the Broadford Lode Mining Claim. situated
in Minnie Moore Gulch, Mineral Hill Mining Dis
trict Alturas County Idaho Territory, in order to
hold said premises under the provisions of Section
1924 Revised Statutes of the United States, being
the amount required to hold the same for the year
from the service of this notice. Tor within 30 days
after this notice by Pubication) you fail refuse
to contribute your proportion of such expenditure
a co-owner, your interest in the said claim will
become the property OF the subscribers. under
said Section 1924. W. S. SOWDON.
G.. H. HIGGINS0E.
First publication, February 81, 1886.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
Notice of Forfeiture.
To HARRINGTON:

To D. HARRINGTON:
&c harsbv notified that have done the an
10y L,5ing work on the John L. Sullivan lode
aus mining claim, situated near Bullion. in Min
ersi Hill Mining District, Alturas county, ner
tory Of idaho for the year 1885, ana nave ear and
iaD,ovements on said lode mining claim In oide,
tn hoIs the same under Section 1924 Revised
statutes of the United States that your proPoroS
o. said 500 is $50, legal money OF the united
Secs being ope-half: and that unless you cen.
tribute YOUR said proportion of said expenditure
within 50 days from the date Of the FIRST pao 1nhr
w S vi lode mining claim will become tn'
property of the undersigned under SAID seSIoi
| 1924. Mloh "a 20 ,ooe
HALEY, Idaho, February II, 1855: r.,,rs ofs 20
AZ The meney may be paid at the TIMES ohi0e
| First publication, February II, 1856.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
Not So Bad As That.

John: "Clara. | must correct your
statements. You are entirely wrong.
there is a lack of verisimilitude-'
Clara: Now, John. you are getting
out OF your depth. Are you sure you
know what you are talking about
John thotly). You talk as II you
thought was big donkey"
Clara lco!dly): Now. my dear, you
are unjust Inever thought you were
big Philadelphia Call.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
A Deacon's Dishonesty.

"Pugh! you don't call Deacon Sim
mons an honest man, do your"
"Yes, stree! would trust him with
Ill my money in the dark--if l had
any"
You haven't heard OF his taking that
thing from Mrs. Sewers hall after the
social them"
mo, and don't believe 1t, anyway
What did he take?"
HIS leave"
At once there rose so wild yell, etc.
-IJudge.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
In Good Company.

A disciple of Blackstone, at Albany,
Ga, was met carrying home possum.
lie was asked:
Hello, j., what is that?"
"Possum !"
What are you going 20 do with him?'
I'm going to have big possum sup
per-"
How many will be there"
"Two-me and the 'possum. "-[Good-
all's Sun.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23

This might have found placein lean
Ramsay's "reminiscences.
A canny Lowland farmer, OF misery
disposition, went to fair TO hire farm
servant; and peerng about him, no
observed tall, well-grown lad, with q
vacant expression Of countenanco.
Him he accosted, and found that
"Jock," as he called himself, was an
innocent "-half-witted.
The farmer, thinking that this was a
good opportunity for picking up strong
fellow, who would take pillow wages ana
not quarrel with the very plain fare OF
his kitchen, questioned him, and finding
that he was used to farm work, engaged
him. Then, remembering that he knew
nothing of the youths character ne
( added
But l maun hae your character, We
ken, Jock. l engage no man without a
character. Can ye bring me ane frae
yer last master"
QUAY" returned Jock; and it was
agreed that he was to bring the required
document to the Sun Inn, where the
farmer intended TO dine at
| o'clock.
At one o'clock punctually Jock ar
rived at the Sun, and with some INN
Guilty made his way into the room whcr'
the farmers ordinary was being helu'
Wccl, ma laad, have you got you
character" asked the farmer.
ma but I've got yours and IN M
comm !" cried Jock, as he bolted IRON
the room amid the roara Oh the as
sembled company.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
Ills Father Was a Pole.

Judge Ito prisoner: Your manner
Prisoner: Henry
Judge: That's your Christian name.
What's your family manner
Prisoner: my father was POLO. l
have never been able to pronounce his
name. Boston Beacon.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
At the Theater.

She: Don't you think something
ought to be done toward uplifting the
stage?" .,...o
He: "Yes; or perhaps something To-
serve the same purpose. Boston
Transcript.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
Explained.

what do they do when they install a
minister" asked a small boy. Do
they put him in a stall and feed him"
mot bit," said his father; "they
harness him to a church, and expect him
10 draw it alone, II Boston Transcript.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
A Seif-sacrificing Woman.

The American woman who marrics
foreign prince is the most self-sacrifcipS
Of women.
She not only volunteers to become tho
housekeeper, but furnishes the money
Ia run the establishment.-lSa Sam. the
Scaramouch.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
To Point q Moral.

The young lady who gave the mitten
to the young man who wouldn't % into
the house, where it was comfortable, but
persisted in keeping her out at the front
gate. now refers to him as one OF her
east-off gaters.-IChicago Telegram.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23

First Auditor: Poor old Clawkcys
He doesn't play as we'll as he used to.
He's all broken up
Second Auditor: =" Yes, all broken
up /; and don't think much OF his pieces
either 1.-THE Rambler.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
Notice Of Forfeiture.

To George NJ. Dickarson, and K K. Kingsbury:
You are hereby notified that have done the
nunl holding work on the Venus lode and mining
claim, stuated in Warm Springs Greek Mining
District, Alturas county, Territory of Idaho, for
the year 1855; and have expended over one humid
rcd (iO0l dollars In labor aud improvements on
said lode mining claim in order to hold the same
under section 2J24 Revised Statutes Of the United
States; that your proportion of said one hundred
dollars Is one sixth each, being sl666sl each and
that unless you contribute your proportion OF said
expenditure within 90 days from the date of the
frst publication Of this notice, your interest in
the said Venus lode mining claim will become the
property of the subscriber, under said section
2J2i > vLADYSLAV DOMSKI,
ne =. - HALEY, Idaho.
~ The money may be paid at the TIMES office.
First publication, February 2, 1886.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23

An old gentleman got on bohtail car
the other day, and after sitting some
time he nudgcd smart young man who
sat next him and said, pointing to the
Indicator: "Nelghbor, I'm little near
sighted; would you please tell me the
timer"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1886-03-23
DR.. Spinney
No. IL Kearny street,
~ -. An l,l,,o,,;n and Spnpia1 Diseases

I eats All Chronic and Special Diseases.
YOUNG MEN,
Who NAV be suffering from the effects OF youthful
folt.s or indiscretions will do well to avail them
selves of this the greatest boon ever laid AZ the
altar of suffering humanity. DIR. sPlNNEi viii
guarantee to forfeit $500 for every case OF Seminal
Weakness or private diseases of any kind or rhar-
acter which he undertakes and fails to cure
MIDDLE-AGED MEN.
There nre many at the age of thirty to sixty who
are troubled with too frequent excavations OF the
bladder often accompanied by q slight smartinS
and burning sensation and weakening OF the sys-
TEN in manner the patient cannot account Tor.
On examining the urinary deposits ropy sedi.
ment will often be found and sometimes small
particles of albumen will appear. or the color Will
be of thin, milkish hue, again changing to ozark
and torpid appearance There are many men
who die of this difficulty, ignorant Of the cause
which is the second stage of seminal weakness
! DR. SPINNEY will guarantee sure and
perfect cure in all such cases, and healthy res
| toration of the genito-urinary organs.
| Office Hours-lO to 4 and to 8. Sundays, from
| 10 to IL a. m. Consultation free. Thorough ex
ami nation and advice, S..
| Call or address, -
| DIR. SPINNEY l. CO.,
| e23 Ne Kearny street, San Francisco.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02

The member for West AlgOma tells
good story about a species of sturgeon
from forty to sixty pounds in weight,
which is peculiar to Rainy river and
lake. On "a visit which he paid last
summer To a settlement ON the river, he
had occasion to visit young bachelor,
who, with true backwoods hospitality,
insisted that he should stay for dinner.
Mr.. Conmee seated himself and watched
the preparations of his entertainer.
First he set down his homemade bread
ON the table, with tin mugs for the tea,
and then put big pot full of water over
the fire. When the water came to the
boiling point he infused the tea and set
it aside. Then he seized gaff about
six feet feet long, stepped outside to the
rivers edge, which was not over ten
PAGES distant, and returned in three
minutes with sturgeon kickinSon the
end of his gait, part of which was soon
cut OIL and transferred TO the pot of boil
ing water TO be cooked for dinner. This
is the usual thing up there. They always
have the water boiling before they 20 to
catch the fish, and they use only com.
mon gaif Toronto World.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02

Beware of the Hoo-DOoed Ore-ROoms.
There is one of the unlucky places Of
this town." said a renting agent as he
rode along Madison street in a horse car.
81 wouldn't want to guarantee to give D
cents for all the money that will ever be
made in that store-room. Within tho
last year four or five men have tried their
hands at running restaurant there and
have failed, The room is now vacant
again. | ney r knew a man to succeed
there. At least score of tenants have
been in there since the building was put
up, and not one of them has made dol
lar. Even saloon failed. On either
side of it business of all kinds is prosper
Gus. but nothing goes there.
That isn't the only place of the kind
know of in Chicago. There are store
rooms in which would not start a busi-
ness if could get rent free and subsidy
to boot. They are unlucky spots, and Il
man had better keep out of them. Am
] superstitous: Not at all. 1t isn't that.
The unfortunate result of all enterprises
started in these places is due to a trait of
human nature-to business law-that
trade naturally avoids locations where
sheriff's notices and to rent cards are fre-
quently displayed. 1t isn't superstition,
but business. The, owner of any one Of
these sated stores could have well af-
forded to give rent free and paid out
money besides if he could thereby have
averted the reputation which his house
now has. Ny advice to any man starting
new business would be to pay some at
tention to the reputation for luck which
the storv-room he intends taking has got,
just as the prudent man does to the rep
utation of the partner with whom he
Joins fortunes. Chicago Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
The smrprise PmrtN in England.

Yet another American social institu-
ton is becoming acclimatized in London
society in the shape of surprise parties"
Briefly described, surprise party" is
one in which the guests, who should all
be known to each other, swoop down un-
expectedly on the rooms or houses of a
friend and proceed to enjoy themselves.
The gist of the business is that the sur
prise guests" take their supper with
them, SO that even if the surprised host
or hostess be actually out the party can
still he held. To make surprise parties"
really successful is no easy matter A
perfect organizer of them is well-nigh as
valued q member of society in New York
as a finished leader of cotillons is in our
own capital. But, thanks TO the pres
ence of so large an American contingent
in London, the surprise party" is likely
TO become quite feature of the current
season.-LOndon Figaro.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
How Nine. Cnyalayzi Libernted Rome.

The event of my life was the part un-
dertook in the liberation of Rome. One
day while in Rome a young officer be-
longing to Garibaldi's staff called upon
me and asked my aid in melting an in
surrection for the purpose of delivering
the city over to his general. The plans
were made and the next night the place
of the harlequin in the ballet was filed
by the young officer, who wore u rich
green costume. My bodice and skirt
was of bright red. At the conclusion of
an effective dance fell back upon my
partner in the regular ballet fashion, my
red dress and white skirts resting
against the green costume Of the harle-
quin, thus showing the national colors
which were then prohibited on the stage.
The effect WAS electrical; and as the cur
tain fell the spectators rushed into the
street in the widest excitement. In a
short time the city was aroused and Carl
baldi entered it in triumph.-St. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
A Trounc of italian S{upars.

A troupe of Italian opera singers are
about as great an inconsistency as a flock
of unframed animals. The reporters for
the press constantly aver that | have
financial reason for changing an opera
at the last moment. If it were only
known what dealer in macaroni-eating
singers has to contend with, all this talk
would be stopped. Upon the slightest
pretense prime donne will refuse to ap-
pear, and in figuring what we shall do
we have to select an opera that will not
have in its cast one of the soloists who
has sung the night before. Most of our
best singers refuse to appear twice in sue
cession, and we are compelled to do tbs
best we can.-Col. Mapleson.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
HOW DOES THE BRAIN WORK.
The True Answer to the Question-A
Series of CO. Ordinated Movements.

The True Answer to the oues,iop-A
so.,.. ,..o,co.or,,r.,., ,,ov.m.n,s
How, then, does the mechanism OF the
BRAIN really act! L beheve the true
answer to TINS question Is the one most
fully given by NJ kiDot ana never yet
completely accepted py Enghsh PSychoi-
oglsts. IL acts Tor the most part, as
whoie; or al ieast' even tne sl'hpies. iuea
OF mental act OF any sort Is complex OF
processes involving the most enormously
varied orain elements. instead OF uos
beng located somewhere IN one par
ticular cell OF the Dralh' dog Is an idea'
audible, visible, legibie' prohounceaoie'
requiring Tor diftereht modes OF ms per
ception OF productioh the co-operatloh OF
an enormous number Oh separate cells'
hpers ana gangha;
Let us take an Illustration from XIII
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02

There is such a thing As pen paraly lysis,
sometimes called writers cramp, and
it is a very inconvenient affection. 1t is
a weakness of the nerves of the hand,
caused by the constant contact of metal,
kind of electrical action upon the
nerves and produces uncomfortable tenn
bling. Writers who use steel pens
great deal, and telegraph operators, are
subject to it. 1t is treated by electricity
applied To the nerve centers and by
nerve tonics, and readily yields. have
had ii, but am in "a fair way of recovery,
Professional clerks should not use steel
penholders if they desire to remain free
from an attack of the disease.-E. p.
Walsh in Globe-Democrat.
Incorrect Opinion OF Steamboat Mates.
The impression the public have Of
steamboat mates is not the correct one.
The mate who looks the fiercest and
swears the loudest is often the best to his
crew. A mate is noisy from mere force
of habit. He deems il necessary to in-
dulge in expletives, and the average
roustabout would be a worthless orna-
ment without the encouraging TRADE of
of the competent mate, Once away from
the boat, the mate, AS a rule, is like any
other man, and | have known many
noisy mates who were quiet and orderly
as Sabbath-school teacher ON duty
when they were off duty,-Capt. Asbury
in Globe-Democrat.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
Action of Acids on the saliva.

The influence of acids in retarding or
arresting salivary digestion is further Of
importance in the dietetic use of pickles,
vinegar salads and acid fruits. In the
case of vinegar it was found that part
in 5000 sensibly retarded this process, a
proportion of 1 in 1000 rendered it very
slow. and ! in 800 arrested it COM
pletely; SO that when acid salads are
taken together with bread the effect of
the acid is to prevent any salivary diges-
ton of the bread, matter of little mo-
ment to person with vigorous diges-
ton, but to a feeble dyspeptic one of
some importance. There is a very wide
spread belief that drinking vinegar is an
effiCacious means of avoiding getting
fat, and this popular belief would ap-
pear from these experimental observa-
tions to be well founded If the vine
gar be taken at the same time as farm
aceous food it will greatly interfere with
its digestion and assimilation, Nine
teenth Century.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
The three TunneIs of the Aims,

The Alps are pierced by three remark
ably long tunnels entering Italy from
France, Switzerland and the Austrian
Tyrol. They are the Mont Gents, seven
and three-quarters miles long; the st.
Gothard, nine and one-quarter miles
long, and the Arlberg tunnel, only six
and one-half miles long. The projected
Simplon tunnel, by which the railroad
from Geneva TO Martigni will be carried
through the mountains TO Dunno d'Ossola,
will he twelve and one-half miles long,
and the estimated cost sec, 0,0O0, Ooo.-Chi
cago Journal
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
watching the Chicks Shell Out.

was rather surprised last night when
/ drfted into the fancers' show to see
four indubtable swels sitting in four
large wooden chairs in front of an arti-
fetal ipcubator, and staring at a lot OF
eggs with the most absorbed and inter-
ested faces imaginable. They all wore
fur coats. leaned on their sticks heavily,
and two of them held their watches in
their hands. There We're dozens of eggs
under the glass case, and every few
minutes one of the shells would open,
and small and puny chick was born
into the world. When the event oc-
Cured. the four men would look at each
other with eyes that were invariably wide
open, and comment upon the size, ap-
pearance and activity of the recent ar
rival with the solemnity of supreme
court Judges. Occasionally the two who
held their watches in their hands would
make bets of some magnitude OH the
interval of time which would elapse be-
tween one birth and another. Once,
when four or five of the livelier chicks
pounced upon weary-looking specimen
who seemed to object to being born, the
very moment the shell was broken the
interest of the four men was almost
painful. The exhibition was really very
much of novelty to them, and am
told that they had hired the chairs from
an usher three nights before, and had at
tended the show regularly from that
time on.--Blakely Hall in The Argonaut,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02

The strange companionship explained
thus: The prairie dogs burrow is the
only shelter afforded the snake from the
intense heat of those torrid plains; and
as the dog always sinks a well ON his
premises, it is the only means of getting
water, and | have demonstrated to my
satisfaction that rattlesnGkeS speedily
perish without it. In return for this hos
pitality, the rattlesnake takes charge Of
the census, and thoughtfuily prevents
the prairie dog from accumulating .
larger family than hs cen convent.
entity support. Scientific AmeI can.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02

Some grave their wrongs on marble; he, more
Just,
Stoop'd down serene, and wrote them on the
dust;
Trod under foot, the sport of every wind,
Swept from the earth, and h'e'ted from his
mind
There, secret in the grave, he bade them lie,
And grieved they could not escape the
Almighty's eye.
DIR = Madden
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02

Patient forbearance and sweet cheerfulness,
And gentle charity that loves TO bless
To hide all faults as soon as they appear.
Without such stores, bought by no golden
price,
Winter may freaze the human blood to ice.
Caroline May.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-04-02
SELECTIONS.

Reasons whole pleasure, all the joys Of sense
Lie in three words-bealth, peace and compe
tence. Pope