Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-11-03
CHEsTNUTS.


How very odd that poets should suppose
There is no poetry about a nose,
When. plain as is mans nose upon his face,
noseless face would lack poetic grace
Noses have sympathy, lover knows!
Noses are ALWAYS touched when lips are kissing
And who would care to kiss if nose were missing?
Why what would be the fragrance of rose
AND where would be the mortal means OF telling
Whether vile or wholesome odor flows
Around us if we owned no sense of smelling?
l know nose-a nose no other knows.
Meath starry eyes, DER ruby lips 1t grows
Beauty in its form, and music III us blows.
"IfI cannot have the fat of the land,
can take a little lean," said tramp, as he
rested his shoulder against lamp-post.
How Illinois dog can make. Some
times it Texas long TO see the pointof such
a pun.
A favorite copy set by writing teachers is
the following, because it contains ali the
letters in the alphabet: g A quick brown
fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Papa, what is Wall street % wall
street is place where they raise lambs in
the spring, shear them in the fall, and
then turn them loose to hustle for them
selves in the winter.
"Then you have never had any educa-
tional advantages Boy scratches his
nGa0 anu SAYS. NJ. llOt lAiob
knows of. But I've had airysipias. If what
YOU said is worse nor that l don't want ter
ketch it"
Il say, Bridget, what's the name of
those red flowers Shure. now, don
like to tell ye. 'Tisl't a noe name they
have at all, dear for twas up at the house
| heard your own mother herself calling
thin spitunias.
Papa, dear. do you know there is one
place in an Eastern State that am con-
stantly epvying?' And what attractive
SPOT is that, my daughter" Its Eliza
beth" responded the ingenious maiden.
" It's in a New Jersey all the time Ere
another dawn this damsel had her garment
A wag brought horse to stop by the
word whoa and said to the driver,
That's fine horse you have there"
Yes" answered the young man, but ne
has one fault, he was formerly owned by
butcher, and always stops when he hears a
calf bleat."
A Tennessee young man recently sent
feryent note to his girl, asking her to elope.
The old man, however, guarded her so
carefully that she was unable to do so. But
she managed to send him nice musk
melon. The cantelope" told him just
how matters stood.
"What was the trouble at church this
morning ?" inquired one Dakota citizen of
another. * / understand there was row."
"Oh, it didn't amount to anything. Some
of the members in the back pews threat
ened to shoot the minister unless he spoke
louder. That was ALL
Lord Chancellor Clare, while Curran was
addressing him, busted himself with a
favorite spaniel, seated near. Curran
ceased speaking through indignation. The
Chancellor asked: Why don't you pro-
coed, Mr. Curran?" thought your Lord
ship was in consultation" replied the ora
tor
Young Housekeeper Cooking over the
market reports Bridget, l shall want
you to go to market this morning
Bridget Yis, mum. Wot'll get, mum"
Young Housekeeper-"I see that beef is
much cheaper on the hoof, and presume
it's just as good. Get nice roast ON the
hoof.n
Mr.. Smiling-boy was telling Mrs. S.
about farce he had attended the night
before. All" said he, you'd have died
laughing if you could have seen it," Then
he added in burning tone of enthusiasm,
How 1 wish you'd been there.n Even
row he cannot quite understand why Mrs.
S S remarks directly afterward took such
an unusually and violently personal turn.