St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-10-07

W
SSS<TI over his genial
counter ance.
He danced in. and. galloping up to the tele-
phone. gave the crank turn and howled
| down the wire for central to connect him
with the Office of E. p. Capen, MinneapO-
| lis. After listening a couple of minutes he
turned to the phone and yelled ''hellow
| He evidently got the man he wanted, for
he chartered away i'll a tone of voice that
attracted the attention of the people on the
street, and this is what be said
.'Heliov' "'Sthat CapenY' "HeyY '"You
poor thing, you're badly left ''You bet
you are - Because you are" '"Spose you
| could stand it if | should tell your" s'All
right, guess I'll have to go you. It's boy"
.'Ha! hal ha! he! no! ha! Thought you
wasn't going to get mad. Does make you
feel bad, don't it, old fellow! Say, Capen,
don't get discouraged" "What?' "Twelve
| pounds" ''You bet" ''Talks about cut
rates already. Goodbye and hanging up
the phone, whitaker skipped over and I'M
locking his desk, sat down and began to read
the morning paper upside down.
The clerks smiled and when few
minutes later he opened a fresh box Of
Henry Clays and passed it around, saying
''smoke on the baby" they grnned broadly
and offered their congratulations. A man
came in and asked the fare to Chicago, and
Whitaker promptly answered:
Twelve pounds-er, no, no. twelve dollars,
twelve dollars. 1 amt feeling very well to-
day.
When the man asked what time the
train arrived in Chicago Whitaker told
him:
about $50 this morning-no, no, not $50.
about 1880 tomorrow morning. Great
| Scott, how my head aches"
Turning to one of the clerks who was
| smiling up his sleeve he asked him if he
would attend to the gentleman, as0he was
| feeling too badly and guessed he would go
home and rest up. In his haste to go
home and rest up, Ed forgot to put the box
of cigars inside his desk and lock it, and
| the boys helped themselves literally.
Ed came down to the Office the next morn
! ing about an hour late. He came in with
light. airy step and leaning in his chair
piled his feet upon the desk and opened the
morning paper. This time he got it right
side up. Pretty soon the telephone bell
rang, and jumping up Ed Waltzed over and
shouted:
.'Helol Oh, all right, thank you. Never
cried whimper. All well. Goodbye. Ta-ta.'
Ed stayed in the office until noon, when
he told the clerks he would probably not be
down again that day and went out
The next morning Ed came in about
1915, but the smile had left his face and
he wore tired expression as he dropped
into chair and opened his mail. Again
the telephone rang and Ed moved slowly
towards it.
Hello ye yelled. 'What?" "Oh, all
right" ''Yes, she's doing tirst-rate. Good
bye" And hanging up the phone, he shut
fed back to the chair and continued the eX-
animation of his mail
Three hundred times Ed answered the
telephone that day, and every time some
body wanted to know how the baby was.
Ed got so at last that when the bell rung
he would go over, snatch down the phone,
yell, BULLY; irst-class, =" and. slamming it
up again, would walk back to his seat,
making rambling remarks about people
who hadn't anything to do but work their
jaws.
The next day Ed walked into the office
with a slow, deliberate tread. The smile
had faded from his fresh, young face, and
there was hollow, unsatisfied look about
his eyes. He seemed nervous. and when
he sat down to his desk, he began his bust
ness by yawning.
''TiredT' inquired his confidential clerk.
"Don't interfere with my personal busi-
ness" replied Ed, with q crOSs-eyed look at
him.
Pretty soon the telephone bell rang. Ed
told one of the clerks to answer ii.
somebody wants to know how the baby
isl said the clerk.
''Tell him bang up, STAYING, lay awake
longer nights and sleep more days than any
other baby in the United States, said Ed,
gritting his teeth.
He didn't answer the telephone during
all that day, and several times he was
found asleep over letters that he was writ
ing.
The next morning he came down to the
Office in a hanson and walked in with
cane and pale, haggard look. Calling his
confidential clerk over to his desk, he said
in low tone of voice:
s.Go over 10 DIR. IS Office and tell him ]
! want some opium. I've either got to take
opium or kill the baby. I've chosen the
former remedy. must have Sleep"
The clerk had been gone but few min
utes when the telephone bell rang and a
clerk who answered it said Mr.. Capen
wanted to see Mr.. Whitaker personally.
Ed went to the telephone and, to the in
qury if that was Mr.. Whitaker, he replied,
Yes"
''How's the baby" came back over the
the wire.
Ed almost howled in his rage, but, clench
ing his teeth. he Kissed back:
Beautiful beautiful. Got a double row
of teeth. He's pretty near year ahead of
the season. He speaks twelve different lam
guages. He's a lightning reckoner. He's
signed to pitch in the Northwestern league
next year. Got an iron constitution. Never
gets sleepy. Never d. ank liquor or smoked
in his life and don't use profane language, but
his father does, d-n you
Pounding the 'phone onto the hook. he
drove up to the telephone Office and ordered
his instrument out until after his baby got
big enough to answer all questions relating
to himself. Ed has recovered from the
shock that he suffered and once more at
tends to business as of yOre.