davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
HUMOROUS.
A real corn taxa tight shoe.

A real corn taxa tight shoe.
A calico party-The pretty girl that
answers the door bell.
The pupil of ones eye is made to attend
to business by the lash that is held over
it.
"This is my golden wedding" remark,
ed an impecunious man when he marrieS
woman worth $50, 200.
"Ah there Stay there!" as the man
said when he passed the pocketbook that
was fastened to the grating by string.
BY actual count it has been discovered
that a man can shoe horse in seven,
minutes less time than woman can shoe
hen.
A western settlers cabin was recently
swept entirely away by tornado. That
is what we should call carrying a house
by storm.
A favorite dress custom with Cuban
I uanuN tOneistS Vi u pldCh SIN SUIT,
white necktie and green shirt Makes
a sort of rain beau of himself as il
were.
"Whcn married you,' she hissed, Il
thought you were better man. 'And
so | was, he replied. 'Mine is not the
first good temper that has been ruined bv
matrimony.'
"Well, may hope, then, deerest, that
at some time l may have the happiness of
making you my wife, Eyes, I hope so
l am sure, she replied, 81 am tired Of
suing fellows for breach of promise"
Il guess this is kind of put up
job was the husbands comment as he
cast his eye along the row of well-tilled
jars on the shelves in the cellar, the re-
suit of his wife's labor.
Ex-Governor Bishop, of Ohio, is just
in his sixty fourth year, and last summer
leaped fence four feet high without
laying his hand on its rail. But then a
savage dog was behind the Ex-Governor.
One of the cruelest retorts made by any
musical audience is reported from Cali
fornia. A vocalist was warbling to her
own great satisfaction, ooh, would I
were bird" A rough miner replied
"Oh, would were gun"
The western editor who put the head
Natural Gas" over the proceedings of
a woman's rights convention, was. con-
venientlv ''out of town" when commit
tee of ladies wearing spectacles and a
revengeful expression called to interview
him.
A smart bit of repartec was overheard
the other day at Killarney. A guide
with tourist scowled at peasant who
stared well at him. ''You'll know me
again if you meet me-" said the guide.
'Not if you wash your face" said th~
peasant.
A New York physician has written an
article entitled, "Kissing as a medium of
communicating disease" 1t has long
been known that kissing causes species
of heart disease, which terminates in mat
rimonial fever, and the victim dies soon-
er or later.
CHANGE OF COLOR.
He saw her first at the garden gate,
Six months ago.
Her charming face was as poor as snow.
And his heart was caught in the golden flow
OF the ringlets of saucy Kate
He saw her last with her shapely head
Two hours ago,
On manly shoulder nesting low;
And seen gainst the cheek of another beau,
That hair was only red.
|
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
Why Ladies are Called Ducks.

Because they are not all tame. Because
there is good deal of sport to be got
out of the wild ones. Because they may
be captured. Because they may be sold.
Because, as proved by the results of pub
lie examinations, they may be plucked.
Because, as we can see in the illustrated
newspapers, they may be drawn. Be-
cause they may be beautifully done,
good deal of butter being usually en-
ployed in the process. Because they are
often well basted Because they are
always dressed in some fashion for din
ner. Because they have long bills. Be-
cause there are always plenty of them in
the market.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

Look to the great west for guarantee
that our meat supplies shall not run
short. The latest enterprise in the pro-
vision line out that way is the business
of raising buffaloes for their hides and
meat. For years past we have been hear
ing of the inevitable extinction of the
great herds of that huge animal, but this
is all to be checked by the enterprise of
Western Kansas people, who have found
that buffalo steaks are worth more than
beef for food purposes, and hides are
valued at from $15 to $50 each. The
market price for buffalo calves for breed
ing purposes is $50 each. A year or two
hence, we suppose, we shall see buffalo
steaks and roasts on the bills of fare of
all the first-class feeding establishments
in the country.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
Better than They Looked.

Speaking of visiting Englishmen l am
reminded of a story of Matthew Arnold
which has never yet seen the light of
print. When he made his lecturing tour
through America he was accompanied by
his wife, and in Cleveland they were en-
tertained by one Of the leading families
living on Euclid avenue. One morning
buckwheat pancakes were served at
breakfast. Matthew Arnold looked at
them obviously, shifted suspiciously and
passed them by without taking any But
Mrs. Arnold was more venturesome, and
she took couple of the steaming cakes,
helped herself to maple syrup as she saw
the others doing, and took bite. Evil
IDENTIFY she was surprised. The buck
wheat cakes proved to be delicious, and
turning to her husband she remarked:
'Do take some, Matthew, they're not
half as nasty as they look Cincinnati
Tinses-Star.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
How the Oyster Aids the Chur eh.

The following is from the pen of a
writer in the st. Louis Christian Adro-
cate. ''If church is to be built the
oyster is summoned to assist in laying the
foundation, and when the cap-stone is
brought forth with shoutings he graces
the occasion and gives zest to the hour.
If debt is pressing heavily upon the pco-
pie of God and all other help fails, the
oyster (in his season. never fails. If the
salary of the pastor is in arrears, the oys-
ter must liquidate. If Improvements are
to be made in the building or the church
prepares to enlarge its sphere of useful
ness, the oyster must be interviewed. The
days of martyrdom, after all, are not yet
past, for the oyster is dying daily for the
glory of God. His bones are bleaching
upon every field where the church has
fought with the powers of darkness. The
highway along which the church is
marching her victorious columns is paved
with ghastly evidence OF his mortality.
His shells whiten in the sun at the door
of the sanctuary Every pastor and dea-
con is walking cemetary, and the grand
army of dyspeptics, for the glory of God,
is multiplying every day. Oh! wonder
full bivalve, great is thy renown. The
whale has aforetime put on airs because
he was called upon to assist the Lord in
that little affair with the prophet Jonah
The Galilean pike that brought the trib-
ute money to Peter has always claimed a
patent for nobility, because he helped the
Master to pay His taxes, but henceforth the
whale and the pike must hide their di-
minished heads, for the oyster has come
to the front and he is greater than ALL"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

Since the 1st of last May 12 carloads
of bones have been shipped east from
Cimaron, Kansas, averaging $4,000
pounds to the car, and aggregating 1920
tons, Or 264,OOO pounds. These are
principally the bones and horns of buf-
falo, and of course, some bones of do
mestic animals which have died. They
have been bleaching on the broad prai-
ries for years, and are gathered up by
citizens and hauled fifty and seventy five
and sometimes 100 miles. They sell for
$40 per ton in Kansas, and are shipped
east, where they are manufactured into
handles for cutlery, tooth-brushes, rings
and ornaments for harness and various
other purposes, while the refuse is ground
into dust and used as fertilizer for the
worn-out soils of the older states.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
A novel enterprise is to be set afoot

A novel enterprise is to be set afoot
soon in England, whereby an opportunity
will be afforded to those who have money
and leisure to enjoy travelling in pecu-
liar way. A vessel has been chartered
which will carry some fifty tirst-class pas
sengers, accompanied by an artist, pho
tographer, geologist, mincralogist, a
botanist, zoologist, and others, who
will explore and collect wherever oppor-
tunity offers, but moro especially in dis
tricts practically unvisited hitherto. The
first voyage will last twelve months.
There will be no hurrying over ground
where anything valuable to science Or art
can be obtained, and at intervals the voy-
ayers will have the opportunity of break
ing up into sections and landing when
either the beauties of rivers or the life
and scenery of coasts can be studied and
enjoyed. The collections made on the
voyage will be carefully preserved for
subsequent exhibition or for presentation
to museums
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
Only a Boy.

Only boy'
Only healthy and rosy face,
Bearing of pain and grief no trace,
Save where at times the shadows play
Like tho light clouds on a summers day.
Only boy'
Only loving and trusting heart
That throbs and strains for a long life's
start,
That yields in love to the gentle touch
OF one who will chide not overmuch.
Only boy'
Only an earnest and longing soul
Through which wild fancies and wishes roll
Peering from out those eager eyes
At the untried world that around them lies.
Only boy'
Only the germ of some unknown gain
To world that wavers 'twix joy and psin,
Tell me of better gift who can,
To give to the world, than an honest man.
Only boy'
Only man with saddened face,
Bearing of grief and sin the trace,
Craving love that might cleanse the stain
OF the old thoughts that will come again.
Only boy'
Only spirit that scars at last
Ger the chains and blindes of pretty past
Hardened, but faithful, saddened, but true
Saved-but the praise is not for you.
Charlotte IT. COursen.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
Corn and l,orns.

81 see by the papers that in Kansas tho
yield of corn is forty to the acre. Isn't
that remarkablep
mot at all; only it seems to me that
item is upside down"
'Upside downl"
Eyes. My experience is that the yield
is about forty achers to the corn. Get off
my foot, please. Cali.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

'It seems like a pity to shatter belief
that has existed for years." said dealer
in pug dogs, pigeons and pcacocks this
morning to a news gatherer, ''but the
old, old story about the vanity of the
peacock is miserable myth. l cannot
understand why people have believed it
so long. Why, sir, are you aware that
the peacock has less brains than the
chicken2 Do you know that the pea
cock is practically the idiot of the feath-
cred tribe, the same as the pug is of the
canine race2 A peacock, sir, hasn't
sense enough to go in when it rains. No,
sir. What say is literally and actually
true. have seen 'em stand out in a
storm and pick up corn, while every SEN
sible turkey, goose or duck would be
under shelter 1t is simply the gaudy
plumage of the peacock that has led to
the story of its vanity.
''It is true that when the peacock
HOSTS his tail and struts around 1t looks
as if he was trying to show off, and all
the women folks say: Just look at the
vain thingp The truth is that the pea
cock rarely, if ever, exhibits his magnif-
cent tail except when courting. A male
pigeon swells out his chest and raises his
neck-feathers, while a barnyard rooster
seeks for dainty morsels for the hens and
clucks complimentary clucks. The pea
cock takes different style, that's all.
Il don't suppose that peacock has
sense enough to know that his feathers
are gaudy or his feet ugly. It's dead
sure fact that he has smaller head and
less in it than any bird you can mention
that is half his size in body. Vanity be
blowed -Philadelphia Neps.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
No N0YeltT TO Her

''Here is a curious case, ma'am," said
the superintendent of the insane asylum.
This man imagines he is the motive
power that runs the world. He's per-
fectly harmless, though, but he thinks
the world wouldn't move without him
Very queer notion, isn't itF'
II don't know about that my husband
has got the same notion in his head. "
Mauerick,
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

From time inmemorial picked cab
bage has been denounced by doctors as
outrageously indigestible. OF late, how
ever, that dietetic preparation has grown
to be quite respectable. 1t has risen to
the dignity of an alkaloid producer. NJ.
Tuyapogu has isolated the substance, and
finds that it suppresses the delirium due
to prolonged use of alcohol. So the
whiskey seller, in placing picked cab
bage upon his lunch table, has been fol
years unconsclously engaged in providing
his guests with proper scientific treat
ment
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

Justice has finally been done to the
Smith family, and they now have an
organ of their own. 1t bears their name,
and is published by the Smith Publish,
ing Company, in Michigan town. 1t is
entirely family affair, every item and
article in it referring to persons bearing
the name of Smith. If the publishers
can induce all the Smiths in country to
subscribe, their future is assured.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

The Florida orange trees must be very
productive, if all that is written about
them is true, remarks new York paper.
1t is said that man in Levy county, that
state, has an orange tree on his place that
is about forty years old, from which he
will gather this year over 5000 oranges,
and has gathered as high as 0, 900 in one
year. This is ahead even of the glorious
climate of California.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

1t is officially announced that in the
short twelve days war the Bulgarian
losses were 500 killed, 1900 wounded
and 500 prisoners, while the Scrvian
losses, of course by Bulgarian estimate,
are $500 killed, 1,126 wounded and
prisoners, The figures, though official,
are probably an underestimate on both
sides, but the number is enough for a
few days of the ''game of kings
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
Ono GETS a striking idea Of the magni,

ono gets striking ldea OF the magni'
tude of this, country from the statement
of the Rev. DR.. Barrows, in the Corgre-
gatioaalist, that if the entire population
of the globe, estimated at /, 400, 900, 900,
were divided into families of five, the
state of Texas alone could give each
family half an acre of land to live upon.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14

A black or blue pencil mark oppo-
site this paragraph indicates that your
subscription has expired, while a red
mark shows that your subscription or
renewal has been received.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
VOL III. NO. I.
THE LONDONDERRY SITTER,
Issued Every Thursday Evening from
SITTER once.
So. Londonderry, VT. RI.
TERMS.

To subscribers in Windham County md
elsewhere where bundles ave sent, only ONE
DOLLAR n year Outside of Windham County,
n single wrapwers, ONE DOLLAR AND Ten
CENTS.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-14
Advertising Rates

Advertising Rates
furnished on application. Births, Marriages
and Deaths peblished free. Obituary notices
cards of thanks, etc., cents line.
Address SITTER OFFICE. South London
derry, VI.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-02-12

series 0I experiments TO O0Gorml0o Inc IN
fluence of the corn kernel ON the cob,
with reference to the crop yield from the
same. The experiments extended through
the years 1883 and 1884, and seemed to
justify the conclusion that the tip kernels
we're in no wise inferior to the central or
butt kernels, 80 far as flint corn, which
was the variety employed. Was concerned.
The summary gave from the butts ST.
bushels per acre; centres, 57.7 bushels per
acre; and from the tips, 592 bushels Per
acre. This is contrary to generally re
celved opinion, and may be changed by
future experiments.-Ge Germantown 1ele
graph.
GLOSSY STARCH. Take two ounces CO
white gum arabic powder, put in to a
pitcher and pour on it pint of boiling
water, according to the degree of strength
you desire. and then, having covered it,
aet it stand all night. In the morning
pour it carefully from the dregs into a
clean bottle-keep it for use. A table
spoonful of gum water stirred into pint
of starch that has been made in the usual
manner will give lawns, either black or
printed, look of newness, when nothing
else can restore them after washing. II is
also good, much diluted, for thin white
muslin and bobinet.
THE Boston ''Cultlvato1 thinks that
tha Enarnsav hrood IF o.ttIo h.uo ho..
overshadewed by the greater popularity
of Jerseys, but are we'll worthy of equal
attention, and that, giving as rich milk
as the Jerseys, they yield a larger mess
and are considerably larger themselves.
y. ID. MILLER, in an article on the
management of orchards On warm soils,
correctly says the orchardist who neglects
to care for his trees and feed the soil has
no more right to expect permanent good
results than the tock-grower has who only
occasionally feeds his live stock.
KEEPING the ANIMALS quiet prom otes
the storage of fat, but health and the OIL a
lily OF the meat is best obtained when
they are allowed to take exercise daily. If
they cannot have the privilege of exercis-
ing. they should at least be allowed in the
open air d lilly.
A TON of bran fed with two tons of hay
is worth as much as four tons Of hay fed
alone to either horses. cattle or sheep
The relative price of bran, compared with
hay, must be taken into consideration,
however, as to the economy of feeding
bran,
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-02-12

To be Continued
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-02-12

aCut HOt u'nSC WySeg ~ StIy tth0t "'"s"
of her conduct"
''Pardon me, madam" Mr.. Troy interposed.
Before you say any more about Lady
Lydiard, 1 must really beg leave to OBJ
serve"
Pardon me-" Miss Pink rejoined, ~
never form hasty judgment. Lady
Lydiard's conduct is beyond the reach
of any defense, no matter how ingenious it
may be. You may not be aware, sir, that in
receiving my niece under her roof her lady
ship was receiving a gentlewoman by birth
as well as by education. My late lamented
sister was the daughter of clergyman of the
Church of England. I need hardly remind
you that, as such, she was a born lady,
Under favoring circumstances, Isabers ma
ternal grandfather might have been arch
bishop of Canterbury, and have taken pre-
cedence of the whole house of peers, the
princes of the blood royal alone excepted /
am not prepared to say that my niece is
equally well conn ected her fathers side.
Ny sister Surprised will not add shocked
us when she married chemist. At the
same time, chemist is not tradesman He
is a gentleman at one end of the profession
of medicine, and titled physician is gen
tleman at the other end That is all In in
viting Isabel to reside with her, Lady
Lydiard I repeat was bound to remember
that she was associating herself with young
gentlewoman. She has not remembered
this. which is one insult; and she has sus-
pected NV niece of theft. which is another"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-02-12
2Poetrg.


The Eavesdropper.
A cosy room.
A faint perfume
The warm air filing;
A lover bold
Whose arms enfold
A maiden willing.
An easy chair
The loving pair
Bears without mTmur=
AS swiftly by
The mOmentSf fly.
He clasps her nrmer.
She clings to him.,
The light is dim
The gas just glimmeFS-
An opal RUG
Upon her finger
shines and glimmerS.
With whispers soft,
And silence oft,
The hours go flying;
She dOesn t know
Her brother Joe
Is meanly spying.
Out in the rain,
Through the upetpane,
He eyes his sisaar;:
And ere loIAGhe
Exclaims In. qlee.
"By JOye! has kissed her,
Thus while in bliss
They sit and kiss I
These lovers looney;
This imp of sin
Grunts with grin:
"Lord, amt they spoocH."
per Parsons
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-02-12
FARM AND FIREe1DE.

CARP AT ONE-FOURTH 5HE; COST OF
PoULTRY.,-It does really appear to- rae.
and speak after much experience, that
the people of this county are not awake
to the great possibilities in water farm
ing, i. e., carp culture. l am in posses
sion of data enough to satisfy my own
mind that the future will develop wond-
ers in this line The more see OF this
fish the more I am impressed with its
value as domestic creature. l am fully
persuaded that can raise carp at one
fourth the cost and bbor that can any
kind Of poultry. With this odds in favor
of tie carp, and that during the winter
when other domestic creatures require
your attention in order to meet their
wants for shelter, care and food, the carp
lies dormant al the bottom of his mud,
neither eatirg, growing, nor percep IDLY
losing flesh. His life's functions are held
in a state of sbeyanee until the warmth of
a Spring sun revlvlties him into action and
he goes forth in quest of food and to
spawn.
Let it not be supposed that the carp
makes no demand for food. 1t is true
carp will lire and grow where few other
fish can, yet be responds to good cheer and
grows accordingly, nor is he choice. In
the main, the carp is vegetarian. but he
is alsa osanivorous and will eat anything
a tooahless L,outh can eat-boiled wheat.
boihed corn and boiled potatoes are among
his choicest viands. l think, however.
the Boiled wheat is second to nothing, and
in short, there are few things he will turn
away from.-George Finley in Southern
Cultiuotor.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-02-12

To INCREASE THE MILK SUPPLY.-If
you desire to get large yield OF rich milk
says one, writing on this subject, give
your COWS every day water slightly warmed
and slightly sailed, in which bran has
been stirred at the rate of one quart to
two gallons of water. You will find. If
you have not tried this daily practice, That
your COW will give Is per cent. more milk
Immediately under the effect of it, and
will become so attached to the diet as to
refuse to drink clear water unless very
thirsty. But this mess she will drink al
most any time, and ask for more. The
amount of this drink necessary is aa ordl-
nary WATERFALL at time morning, noon,
and night. OF course, the quantity Of salt
must be very limited, and not put in the
water at haphazard, or by some careless
milkman, or the poor creatures will be the
subjects of constant suffering from an I'M
natural thirst. The amount of salt nee
essary for pail of water always the same
sized one) must be carefully decided on at
first.-PL0nterS' -JowcDl.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1886-11-23
..

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burh eiriea 5Gab in ben &opt uns
Qeben eebrabt. Seine 2ei9e lag fur
$50 66ritte bon Der Wobnung eNts
ferut urb ct bate eirie 6linte unb 5nei
pilfolen bel fi9. 5ein 8ater ltarb
bor sinigen Sager1 unb Der unglidss
fall f6eint ibm ben 8erifaao geraubt
gu baben.
= Gin 3if9ler Mame1s SilberI IN
81 pafo, beHes Jamilie in Abtlet1e
pohnt iaafe bur9 8eri9luden BON
Morpbium Selbtmorb gu begebet.
Nom Sobe bat man i'm 5tpar e@rrettet,
aber er befinbet fi@ felt Der 3eit in be-
puBtloTem 3uifanoe.
: Ser Bunbesmdri9aa Bearb BON
Gainesville folgt benz Dtebe Som patz
ton nod Dem Snbianer. Serritorium uto
ba fi6 6erielbe CUR @ebr febte, eri6ob
ct i'm.
- Muf einer s3ue Der Miioari
pacific Babn tpurbe in Sell GountD
bon unbefannten perfo1en gei9onen.
rs lit Hiemanb b%ertDunbet tDorben, aud
fontte man Nientart6 BON ben angreis
fenben perionen erfennen.
= SSu einigen 2anbbitriften in Der
Ndbe BON Gainesville glaubte man allen
grnffes, baB Die Semperen5ler ibren
Observation-Disclosures erwdblt bdtten
unb feierte bic Wabl bur6 8Daer
fHiu1e.