Morning journal and courier., 1886-11-01
OH !!

The song of the sandwich man is ''Oh, fo1
a thousand tongues. .'-Hartford Times
| Why not strike the grocer and cove for
| couple of hams?"-New Orleans Picayune
There is good old-fashioned tenn
perance motto which reads: ''Dare to dc
right" But if we were delegated to give
Mrs. Inez Sprague some good temperance ad
vice we should say to her: ''Dare to don't
write. Chicago News.
In a vacant lot on Western avenue, the
property of prominent Augusta lawyer, q
signboard is erected on which is inscribed
the following legend: "All persons passing
through this lot are requested to go round. "
Augusta (Me.) New Age.
Simpkins-''Why, Tompkins, old fellow,
what is the matter with yous" Tompkins-
"Ah! breaking up, I'm afraid, Simp Too
much brain work. Doctor says that 1 must
stop reading and writing" Simpkins-
every good advice. Come and spend your
evenings with US. "-Harper's Bazaar.
''Who was that stranger you were with
last night, Jim?" Colonel Blank of the
regular army" "You don't say SO! I never
would have taken him for a soldier" ''Well
George, didn't half believe he was an army
officer myself until 1 played poker with him.
Lend me dollar until tomorrow, will you?'
Chicago News.
eyes" said the father of the boy, 81 want
you will give him job we won't say any
thing about wages for six months" "Do
you think he is fitted for the business
asked the butcher. ''Fitted for the business.
Why just look at those hands. They don't
weigh less than two pounds apiece. New
York Sun.
One Gordon, a vocalist of the last century,
rashly accused Handel of accompanying bad
ly, and added that he would jump upon the
horn iahn nrl md or
did not change his style. ''Let me know
when you will do dat, said the Saxon mas
ter, "and | will advertise it. I am sure
more beobIe will come to see you shump den
will come to hear you singh Exchange.
Smith-"Robinson was looking for you to-
day, Brown. He leaves for the West to-
morrow morning, where he intends to re-
main, and he wanted to collect that S25 you
owe him." Brown-''Yes; saw him little
while ago. 1 promised to forward him the
money next week" Snith-''In what part
of the West does he expect to settle?" Brown
-''I don't know. l didn't ask him. Life.
''Beg pardon, sir,' said a Chicago hotel
clerk, as he took a very small grip sack,
handed him by belated traveller who had
come in at 11:3O p. m. and asked for room,
"but our rules require cash in advance from
guests with little or no baggage. Boy, show
the gentleman up to room 3S7, sixth floor
Dollar and half, if you please" ''Sir, ,"
said the guest, 81 am an Iowa druggist in a
prohibition town." GA thousand pardons, :"
exclaimed the clerk. ''Boy, take the gentle
man to room 81, first floor. Never mind
the cash, sir-never mind the cash. Chi
cago Tribune.
ga party leader" said Rollo, looking up
from the paper, ''is he the man who leads
the party?" "Well something like that, u
said Rollo's Uncle George. HE is the man
who lies awake nights trying to guess which
way the party wants to go, and when he
finds out he scoots across lots and tries to
get there first. He leads the party unless
the party should happen to change its mind
and go the other way. He leads the party
the same as the leader 10 the stage team
leads. He goes ahead, but he goes the way
the man on the box with the reins and whip
tells him to 60" Rollo said he thought he
was beginning to see into politics as through
a glass darkly, and Uncle George said that
was the way old politicians usually looked
into 'em-Brooklyn Eagle.