davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
Whisky Soaked Letters.
WHY TWO RAILWAY MAIL CLERKS WE'RE
DISMISSED.


One of the regulations OIL the Railway
Mail Postal Service is to the effect that
postal clerks shall not take whisky with
them, externally or internally, on their
runs. Any small amount tucked away
snugly in a pigeonhole would hardly be
apt to bring its owner into trouble; but
an unfortunate choice of hiding place
has resulted in the removal of two OF the
postal clerks under the jurisdiction of
the Chi ago Superintendent. Yates,
one of the clerks, took a much needed
pledge to abstain from the use of liquors
when he secured the position, but one
night early this month Wise, the second
postal clerk, and he left Chicago very
much the worse for drink and with a
flask of whisky for use on the trip. One
of the two slipped the flask into an
empty mail pouch and then vent to
sleep. Somebody else filled the pouch
with mail matter, and it eventually
reached Pekin, Ill. The flask was bro
ken and most of the letters in he pouch
were the worst for whisky bath, ltis
alleged Mat, to make matters worse,
some of the good prohibitionists of the
town refused to take their whisky
soaked letters and proceeded to inaugu-
rate good sized row. The Postmaster
had therefore no alternative but to re-
port the condition of the mail to head
quarters An investigation was at once
started here with the result that the two
young men in question were removed
for disobeying the regulations and carry
ing intoxicating liquors on their mail
car
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

RUBINsTE1N, when in Leipsie, was one
day visited by very pretty girl, who
asked permission to play for him. AZ
ter her somewhat doubtful performance
she rose and asked the great master,
who was smiling Ironically, "What
shall do2'' "Get married" was Ru-
binstein's laconic answer, given in a
tone of conviction.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

pair OF roller skates and-but we shall
all take our death cold anding here,
half dressed, in the hall so early in the
morning. "Come, Tito, dress yourself
first, and then tell us all about it, -
called Aunt Alice, from the top of tn
stairs. G. p.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

SOME New Workers want church bell
ring ng abolished. How would man
and his wife who are punctually in
their seats at the opera, three or four
nights a week, fifteen minutes before
the curtain rises, know when to start
Tor church if it were not for the ringing
of the church bellsf
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

Skeptcal ahOrcr But suppose there
isn't amy hereafter, Pati Orthodox La
borer--It'I II be a pity, then, Mike, fur
it'll give the chaps who'vs said there
isn't chance to say, Il tould yer so,
when they wake up and find they're
RIGHT
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

''Mr Smith gone abroad?' eyes, my
husband is on the continent for his
health" 81 thought he was well
enough" a''No; there was weakness
in the spinal column of his ledger
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

THE "Patriarch of Jerusa lem" is de
with ones conceptions of King Dayid's
appearance in middle lie He is about
fifty FIVE wears old,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
A BATCH OF STRAY JOKES
GATHERED IN FROM ALL QUAR-
TIERS FOR ONE TO SMILE OVER.

A Tax ReiHrn-The Cargo was Peri-5a-
bie-WRshinE the Sbeep-He Filled the
PlRcs-it " Rs n Convincing Argument
The Boy Who Knew the Way-Odds
aud Ends, * c., &c.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
TERMS $1.50.
4 QUEER TAX RETURN.

Many years ago the following curious
return was sent in by q supposed public
debtor to the commissioners of taxes OF
an eastern city:
1. A. B., declare:
have but little money to spare.
| have
little house,
l " maid,
2 boys.
2 . trade
2 60 land,
:" money to command;
Rather little is my little all
2supply with comfort my little squall
And little to pay taxes at all.
BY this you see
/ have children three
Depending on me.
-DJ.u Goods Chronicle
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
OF COURSE.

Fam Jones paused in a discourse on
patience at Omaha the other night alu
sald II there was one man present who
never had spoken cross word to his
wife he would ask him to rise. BY
.s'nd ~ round-faced, good natured
man stood up. "Thank Cod" said
Sam, there is one man who never spoke
cross word to his wife" Everybody
took good look at the paragon, when
he broke the silence with the remark:
II haven't any wife. I'm bachelor. -
omaha He7n d.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
WIISTLING.

Mistress Bridget, why on earth are
you standing there, whistling in that
manner ?n
Bridget-"Faith. an didn't We tell
me that whin that tin thing in the wall
commenced to whistle that was to an
swer it and here I've been shtanding
for the last fifteen minnits answering
the ould thing wild all me moight, and
it don't seem to recognize me at all. -
H0gDer'S Bdzdr.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
A FINANCIAL QUESTION.

Catharine Owen has published book
called "Ten Dollars Enough" Sine
may think so now; but by the time she
gets all the jet trimming and stuff for
the overskirt, she will find that about
ten dollars more is necessary, not includ-
ing the dressmaker's bill. Ten dollars
is enough for the material, but the trim
ming and making cost like sixty. Nor
1iSt021n TIer1L6
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
INSURED.

"Boy, lei that horse alone there;
you'n get kicked"
"Oh, amt afraid that horse won't
kick
II know he won't, but I'll kick you
if YOU don't go away from there. -
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

Returned Traveler-Do you know
believe English will eventually be the
language of the world.
Omaha Denizon-Y ou think so
al feel sure OF it. Why, in the down
town streets of Paris you hear almost
as much English as any other Lam
guage."
''lt may be. was in New y ork last
summer, aud it's SO there now, too.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

Coachman (who has approached Mrs.
BFQwn Tor more what w0TiIT
your husband say, mem, if was to ask
him for a raise?
Mrs Brown Cwho knows her hus-
lands financial disposition - Well,
Henry, as l never indulge in profanity,
you must excuse me from venturing an
expression on that sub bject.- H'ash5ngton
Critic
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
AFTER THE HONEY MOON.

Mrs. Winkle-Oh, my dear, that love-
ly play you and ! saw together before
we were married is to be produced
again. Let's go.
Mr.. Winkle-The one with the lovers
in it who die for each other
''Yes"
whats the use? 1t did us no good.
We went on living"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

An estimable old sheep farmer of
Vermont was sadly addicted to the ar
dent. He was induced by the reform
committee of his church to take the ab-
staining pledge, subject only to the
sheep-washing period, during which
tasking times it was deemed essential
to allow of some stimulant. But mat
ters did not seem to mend with the
worthy farmer very much, and the COM
mittee paid another remon strating visit
after while, when they found him in "A
woful state of intoxication.
''You see that ere sheep 2" he asked,
with hiccou.h, and pointing to a de
jected-looking otswold; 'that's clean
est sheep in Vermont; wash him every
fifteen minutes"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

,'Is your first name George. Mr.
FeatherlyI' inquired Bobby, as the
young man seated himself in the parlor
and began to draw of his gloves.
"No, Bobby" replied Featherly, with
an amused smile. "Why?"
'Oh, nothiu'. only heard Clara tell
ma she expected George tonight, and
that she hoped to goodness there
wouldn't be any other callers.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23

A little friend of ours was recently
taken to tae barber shop to have his
hair cut for the first time As the bar
Der cut and clipped, the little fellow
seemed to become considerably alarmed,
for he suddenly said, in anxious tones:
You'll leave enough to grow, won't
YOU, mister p
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-23
A LONG HEAD,

Mrs. Greene-Timothy. what have
yOu done with the letter that was lying
on the bureau ?
Timothy put it into the letter box,
mann.
Mrs. G.-Oh, provoking! Didn't you
see there was no address on the envel-
ope
1'imothy-Yes, main; but l thought
yer didn't want nobody to know who
you was writin' to.--Lite.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

THE colOred brother does not fare
well at the North if the reports of the
Associated Press are to be relied on.
A troupe of colored jubilee singers
were snubbed and roughly treated at
Springfield, III, the nome Of EXPIRES
ident Lincoln, and at Mansfield, Ohio,
the home of Fraudulent Hayes they
were refused hotel accommodations
and were compelled to seek refuge in
a barn.
In Iowa the Circuit and Supreme
courts has decided that a theater man
ager may exclude "a negro from admis-
sion even after having sold him a
ticket. This looks as if civil rights
was about playef out in Iowa, which
has ever been regarded as the home of
true blue Republicanism.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01
NEW YEARS RECEPTIONS.

Inc NEW OIlednS IlCdyun6 IN ltS
Society Bee says
"The custom in New Orleans of re-
ceiving guests on New Year can be
traced tack to the chivalrous days Of
old French Louisiana, when the "Mon-
sieur" Of the old regime would call
on Madame, and in addition to the
compliments of the season, would pre-
SAINT her with a Observation-Disclosures
Our modern society has put on a
few more fancy touches to the fashion,
thus: Ii was, not long ago, considered
the height Of bon.ton for our ladies to
receive their gentlemen friends by
gaslight, in full dress there was a
continued rush of visitors aud 1t was
as much as the hostesses could do to
do justice to all their guests.
Of late years the custom seems to
be dying out. This is not to be
wondered at, for while groups of pretty
girls sat toasting their satin slippers on
the fender in dreamy-expectation of
visitors, our inappreciative society
men would be hanging around clubs,
theaters and in other sports with their
W sex, leaving the field all to a few
enthusiastic emancipated ~collegians.
This year; it would appear, our girls
have grown wiser by their past expe'
riences. Judging from the small
number of ladies receiving there will
be but few opportunities for the
"blase" beaux to snub the cordial re.
ception awaiting them at the homes
their lady friends"
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01
4 GREAT DEMOCRATIC ANET-
VERSARY.

The Democrats Of the great com
merelal exchanges of New York city
who supported Mr.. Cleveland's election
in 1884, and who re-alirmed theil
fealty and devotion to true Democratic
principles and their desire for honest
rule ia their State affairs by contrlbut-
ing SO much towards the election Of
Governor Hill this year, have rendered
the latter gentlemen a banquet at Del
monicO's on the anniversary OF the
battle of New ORLEANS. Governor Hill
has accepted the invitation and it is
expected that President Cleveland and
his cabinet, who have all been invited,
will be present.
In speaking of the anniversary the
New York World says !:
Some years ago the 9Th of January
was the great Democratic festival. In
nearly every city and town all over the
Union the leaders Of the party met
and enjoyed themselves in good old
Democratic fashion. Their orators re-
called the splendid achievements in
war and in peace of the ideal Demo-
cratic President, Andrew Jackson
the greatest of the Democratic Presi-
dents, with the exception of Thomas
Jefferson. They recounted, in glowing
periods, Jackson'S victory over the
British at New Orleans. They painted
in radiant rhetoric his memorable
struggle against the p~Iutocrats of his
era who assumed to control the Gov
eminent pretty much the same as the
moneyed power of our own day at
tempts to bend to its purposes the
Government-NatioDal, State and Mu-
nicipal. They eulogized the vigor he
displayed in his appointments to office,
repudiating the Mugwumps of his
time and putting none but Democrats
on guard.
At the coming dinner we have no
doubt that we shall have some of this
old'fashioned Democratic oratory. 1t
will do the party good. And we trust,
as we said before, that the President
and all the members of his Cabinet can
attend it. They will be certain of
having a good dinner and of hearing
some sound JacksOnian doctrine. The
Democratic party needs a good infu-
sion of "Jacksonism" at the present
time. If good old Democratic doctrine
prevailed, as it ought to prevail, there
would probably be not one but one
thousand celebrations of the battle of
New Orleans next month.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01
The Detroit Church Riot.

In regard to the disturbance and the
charges against Father Kolasinski,
Bishop Borgess. objects to being called
a despot, and says in explanation of
his action: Ordinarily when charges
are prepared against "a priest, he is al
lowed to continue in the performance
of his pastoral duties, since to suspend
him instanter might work greaC injus-
tice. There are charges, however, of
such a serious character for which the
good of religion and the salvation Of
souls require immediate suspension if
the evidence sustaining them is of the
proper character. Such charges were
preferred against Kolasinski, and the
evidence in support of them is over
whelming. He has been charged with
immortality of such a character that
he should not be allowed to stand at "a
Catholic altar for a single hour, and no
pure home should permit him TO cross
Its threshold. Under these circum.
stances the bishop deemed it his dutyto
religion, to the community and to
family purity to suspend his functions.
While endeavoring to lind a suitable
successor, he requested Father Dom
browski, a worth priest, to act as a
temporary pastor. The latter con
scented to do so, but with great reIuc-
lance, as he knew KolasinskI's char
acter and what treatment might be
expected from him. Immediately the
latter began to pose as a martyr, and
to stir up rebellion among the people.
He did not address them Christmas
day because he had no reliable inter-
prefer and also because the whole
object of the demonstration was bull
doing of the worst type and Kolasin-
ski was at the bottom of it. The
bishop sincerely desires that the pee
pie will abandon the nan who is mis-
leading them for his own purposes;
that they will believe he has their
interests sincerely at heart and that at
the first opportunity, if they will allow
him to do SO, he will supply them with
a pastor worthy of them and OF the
altar to which they are so much at
taChed.
Father Kolasinski has also stated
his position in an interview which he
states that he believes that the bishop
is wrong and he is right, and that he
should not have been removed until
the bishop had publicly announced his
reasons therefor. He believes the
trouble will not be ended until he is
reinstated as pastor of the church, and
says he was convicted without a hear
ing. lie proposed to remain in this
city until he gets what he considers
due him. The reverend gentleman
grew warm in his protest that he Was
innocent, and said, in connection, that
the only way to solve the difficulty was
for the bishop to listen to the prayers
of a powerful congregation, which is
able to Judge the wrong from the right.
THE closing of their church against
them on n of the most important
holy days in the year is painful to
them. and it cannot be wondered at
that they desire to worship in their
own edilice with one whom they want
as their PASTOR"
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

PRESIDENT CLEVELAND has sub
stantially remembered the crew of the
Lehigh Valley Railroad that carried
him to Buffalo to vote. He sent Mr..
Mathews, who had charge of the car,
twenty dollars, the conductor Of the
train from Scranton, twenty-five dol.
lars; another conductor and the brake
nal ten dollars each, and the engineer
and fireman five dollars each. They
will doubtless be happy for him to
vote often.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01
An EnterprlsinQ, Reliable House

Hardaway & Cassell can always be
relied upon, not only to carry in stock
the best of everything, but to secure
the Agency for such articles as have
well-known merit, and are popular
with the people, thereby sustaining
the reputation Of being always enter
prising, and ever reliable. Having
secured the agency for the celebrated
DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con-
sumption, will sell it on a positive
guarantee. 1t will surely cure any
every affection of Throat, Lungs, and
Chest, and to show our confidence, we
invite you to Call and get a Trial Bot
tie Free. l
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

If an inscrutable Providence had
placed at the back and just below the
waist-band the horrible deformity so
popular with some of u young ladies
and misses, it would be considered "A
very unkind dispensation. But God
did not put the hideous thing there; it
is altogether artificial, and We regret
to say, newspapers are often at the
bottom of it.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

TIE average rural rooster, editing a
pateAt outside or inside, sits a whole
week on his nest, and on publication
day, usually Saturday, cackles over a
few puns that are as hard and cold
and devoid of meat as a porcelain nest.
egg. Maj. Nat Burbank gets up a COL
umn a day, in the New Orleans
Plcayune, of bright, ringing para
graphs. all Of them fresh-not one of
them added. The r. r. is a usurper.
Maj. Burbank was born to sit and
reign on his throne.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01
incubation for Yellow Eeua,

In Mexico and Brazil, Drs. Carmona
and Freyre have been engaged in the
study of yellow fever, and it is claimed
for the former that he has discover,d a
microbe to whose presence in the
system the yellow fever is due. BY
inoculating with yellow fever microbes
that have been deSiccated and kept thus
in a state of suspended animation. so
to speak, for a year or two, DR.. Car
mona claims to- be able TO give i'm
munity to persons exposed 10 infec-
ton. Some hundreds of persons have
been subjected to this treatment, with
the result, it is declared, that they have
all escaped the disease under circum-
stances most favorable to their coz
tracing it.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

THE scandal mongers of the boule-
ward press are busy with insinuations
that the,late Alfonso, of Spain. was no
better than he should be, but it is to be
noted that they have no storits to tell,
and they agree that he was a great deal
better man than the men of his blood
before him. He was a very studious
youth at college in Vienna, and kept
up the habit of study all his life.
Nine Adam, in her Nouvelle Revue,
says he was clever enough to have in
vented gunpowder, but as it was in
vented already, he only learned every
thing that could be learned about
its application, and was a re-
markakle military scholar. Apro-
pos of his early death, a
prominent journal dilated at length
upon the decadence of the Bourbon
blood through interma7riage, and
asserted that there was not a sound
bodied or a strong.minded representa-
tive of it extant. This would have
been well enough, but the writer went
on to say that it had produced but one
man of character and ideas in "A CEN
tuary, AMI that was-Louis Philippe
But the citizen king was an Orleans
prince, and the Orleans branch of the
Bourbons split off SO many generations
ago that the family resemblance is not
very strong, while it has been much
renewed by fresh blood from time to
time. The Orleans princes now living
are all men Of good health and good
abilities.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

could distinguish good fIom evil. The
Republican party, we all know, had a
policy, and that was a policy of spoils.
The absence of the spoil system in the
Democratic party distreSses the aver
age Republican organ, and the fact
that we are having an honest admins
tratlon Of the laws gags their vituper-
alton.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

LITTLE ADAH LOWRY ELLIS, a
granddaughter of Gov. Robert Lowry,
twenty-one months old, was baptized
at Canton on Sunday last. After the
minister had poured the water on her
little head he held his hand there a
moment OIL two, when the little one,
who was standing at the altar railing,
looked up into his face and said,
"Twit man 7"
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

THOSE misguided people who sup
pose that slavery went out OF exist
ence with the close of the war are
sadly mistaken. They still sell paupers
to the highest bidder in Massachusetts
and in Pennsylvania coal mines they
make slaves of white men, starve
them and their families, and then in
woke State military aid to kill them if
they kick.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01
Further Complication in the Church
Quarrel at Detroit.

DETROIT, Dec. 30-There was no
trouble in the Polish quarter this
morning. The police were expecting
an outbreak and we're prepared for it.,
but had no work to dc. St. Stanisleus
Catholic church is congregation pre-
sided over by Father Kemer and con-
sists almost entirely Of Hungarians.
During the trouble at st. Albert's he
has advised that the people obey the
priest whenever they asked his advice.
The consequence has been that Father
Koloskinski's friends have been threat
ening the Hungarian priest and it
looks like another congregation was
about to be involved in the quarrel.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

w. W. CoRCoRAN, the wealthy phil
%anthropist of Washington, D. c., was
81 years old last Sunday, the 9th inst.
He is said to be in good health. His
gifts to charitable and other objects to
date exceed a million of dollars.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

CAPT. j. H. SMITH, of the 10Th
United States Infantry, who was tried
by court martial recently at Fort
Clark, for conduct ~unbecoming an
officer and gentleman, has been found
guilty. The captain is to remain a
prisoner at the post twelve months,
subject TO duty and forfeit half his pay
for that time. The unbecoming con-
duct consisted in engaging in. a little
game of "jack pot" with some citizens
in a Fort Clark saloon. He got scooped
for $l35, and refused to pay a cent.
alleging that the aforesaid citizens
were professional gamblers and sharps
and had fixed the cards and run in a
"cold deck" on him. The citizens
kicked, an investigation followed, then
a court martial with above result.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

The proposed bill granting pensions
to tie suIllvuls of the Mexican war
entities all persons to pensions who
actually served fourteen days with the
army or navy Of the United States in
Mexico.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

THE annual conference of the Ala
bama Methodists, bya unanimous vote
opposed any change in the church
name. They want it to stand "Meth-
Odist Episcopal Church, South"
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

ACCORDING to the new Congression-
al Directory, out of four hundred and
n members composing the present
Congress two hundred and eighty.six
are lawyers. In the Senate alone fifty
seven out of seventy.six are lawyers.
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-01-01

GEN. RoBT. TooMRs, it is related,
opposed the building of a hotel in his
town, Washington, Georgia, on the
ground that all decent visitors to the
place were welcome to stop with him,
and no others were wanted.