Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1886-07-08
BILL NYE
Writes Another Letter to His Son.
[ChicaRo News.l -

-hN~Hl
Ny DEAR SoN-I ought to Of an
swered your letter before this, but, to
tell the truth, we have had another of
them pesky hoodoos at our house for the
purpose of finishing off the woodshed
OF the parsonage, and I've been mighty
busy.i For two days l was choring
around the kitchen, carrying wood and
water, and borrying dishes from the
neighbors till you can't rest. Since the
ruction was over I've been mostly en-
gagged in thinking about 1t.
Our home paper gave us a good no
tlce and said it was success; also that
everyone present enjoyed highly. 1t
alluded to me as a genial cuss, or words
to that effect, and said your mother
was the life of the party. She was.
1t you could have saw your mother,
Henry, your own mother, prancing
around there, with her No. 8 front
hair tossed too and fro in dishevelled
state, and downing the old pelicans Of
our thriving town to the tune of twen-
ty-five cents and upwards, you would
have said also that verify she was
THE LIFE OF THE PARTY.
Your mother believes that scads be-
come purified as quick as they light in
the plate, no matter where they come
from. lam more conservative. / hesi-
tate to knock man down with O
doughnot and then go through his
clothes. / aim to be christian, Hen
ry, but not strongly sectarian in views.
So it hurt my feelings little to see
your mother rare around through the
crowd Tuesday night and peddle bo-
kays of these here blamed little geran-
ium blows that falls off as soon as you
pin them onto your coat and laugh
once or twict.
Somehow it made me nervous, and
the goose flesh stood out all over me
foot high. amt like your mother to
go around at her time in life, with
20 years old and real camel's-hair
mustush, and learning more blamed
foreign stuff than you could shake a
stick at. I say it amt like her to prance
around among the old ganders of our
place, and be giddy and garrulous like
brazen beer jercker ON the redheaded
biscuit shooter at tavern.
And know she wouldn't do it If it
wasn't for her "zeal," as she calls it..
Zeal is embittering my declining years,
Henry. Zeal and skin games and rafties
and tee hee hee and twenty-five cents
please, and the whole confidence game
has made me prematurely sour.
got to talking with Lon Taft and
Jim Fuller about this thing yesterday.
They are just the same way. Lon says
it pains him to see his wife, now that
she is getting little fieshy and never
was a very good roadster, lettering
around the corral with O grab-bag in
one hand and some kind of . bunko
game in the other.
He says that's why so many men are
seeking the flowing bowl. They eat
this here black-and-tan cake at social
onct a week or onct fortnit, and ii
busts their digesters. Then they
SEE THEIR WIVES ACTING AS CAPPERs
and bunko steerers to help raise q chat
tel mortgage on the belfry or some 9TH
er thing, and iT depresses his spirits.
am no man to complain, but, Hen
ry, if you go into any church in this
country to-day you will find three quar-
ters of the congregation is women; they
are noble women, too. God bless q
good woman, Henry, is what l say. We
| like to have our mothers and our wives
and our sisters Christians, even if we
are. inclined to be liberal in our own
views; but the kind of zeal that fills up
churches with overworked women,
while the sulky husband and father is
at home trying to digest large three
cornered fragment of sorrel cake that
was left over from last weeks debauch
and benefit, is mistake.
We have voted cradle quilts to the
handsomest baby, plated bracelets to
the most popular young lady, and a
gold headed cane to the man who
wanted to be sheriff, and all that. but
when they voted brass mounted two
year-old swamp elm club to the mad
dest man in the United States, Henry, i
wish you would come and do q little
work for me. am candidate.
Ienclose $14 post Office order to buy
you another marticulation fee. Don't
overdo this marticulation business,
though. You know as well as 1 do,
that marticulation in moderation is a
good thing, but it may be carried to ex-
cess. So good-by.
Your Father,
RTTT, NVE