Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-27
BRIGHT BITS.

you need new hat" said Simkins to
friend whom he met on the street yesterday.
"A pew hat? Why. what is the matter
with the one have on?" was the response.
IT'S all battered and bruised out OF shape"
answered Simkin5.
"Oh, that's the latest style, you know. Re
pousse work."-B0st0n Post.
Il HEARD well-known society lady make
a strange break, SAID West Side young gen.
teman. ''She was speaking of a young lady
friend, and strange to say she was praising
her. She reached the summit Oh her friends
good qualities when she said: And then, too.
she is SO quick at repertoire | almost fell OF
my chair. but ascribed my noticeable faint
ness TO an affection of the heart. y Kansas
CITY Times.
SHOULD think those professional oarsmen
would be all tired out" said Mrs. Goodman,
turning from her newspaper.
Yes" said her husband, tits a terrible
strain on their memories
Memories? Why, what have their memo
ries to do with it?'
BLESS you. my dear, don't they have to re-
member whom they are hired to beat and
whom to let beat tneH?"-Fucb.
STRANGER VISITING city, - Say, mister,
what's that ere big stone bulldin', an orphune
asylum?
Cltizen-Why, no. nv dear sir; that is the
Office of the daily and weekly Givemfts, lust
erected with accum ated dividends.
Stranger--Goshall fish-hO0ksl The deuce
you say. Why, got mad with the editor and
stopped that ere paper morn five years ago.
aud supposed Of course the cOnsarn had busted
up and quit Life.
TIE English Parliamentary whip sorely
perpeXes the Gallo mind Paris journal
believes the whip TO be newspaper, and IN
forms its readers that lie Whip, the London
Ministerial organ" is urging ali government
supporters to muster for the home rule debate.
But this is not SO bad As Il provinc al French
paper, which, after carefully looking up the
definition of the word ''whip," gravely rem
ders the statement that "the Minis erial ma
jority have received a vigorous whip" as
'the Ministerial majority have received a
vigorous spanking. "-L0adon Graphic.
ARLO BATES was once talking with Mr.. ].
r. Osgood about the changes which haa heen
made in popular novel between the time il
was first placed in the hands Of the house and
its appearance IN print: '.You seem 10 know
good deal abont it =" Mr.. OsroOd l. hservad at
length, show cid you fnd ali that outf"
"Oh, the authOr tod me herself" he an
swered. And did you go and print it?" he
queried. print it?' was the rather indig-
nant retort, "0f course did not" "rhen,"
Mr.. Osgood reiOined, with drOli twinkle in
his eye, ''then you betrayed her confidence"
sac francisco ArGoaGat.
TIE BALTIMORE IDEA-At a concert at the
Peabody the other day. while performer
was playing one of Bacn's fugues, q gayy
dressed young girl turned 10 a music lOviag
gentleman next TO her aud sam in an ecstatic
whisper, Aren't Batt3ch's fugies inst lOveiy?'
The gentleman dryly replied, f;'Beauuf1l."
>
"Batch's fugies," much to the disgust Of the
man. AT last she came close TO him and said /:
"Is Batch composing SHIP"
mo, madam" replied he gravely, 'it is
probable he is de-composing."
The young lady said never a word.-BaHi-
1a0fe n1ericdR.
THE people of Pemberton, N. j.. are dis
cussing the singular prophecy OF Thomas
Cross, a resident of thai place. who about a
week ago predicted that he would die at mid
night on June Is. His acquai ntance sup
posed his prediction was merely 4 within, and
no particular attention was paid to it.. The
day following the first prediction he repeated
| the prophecy in the presence OF number of
| people. and many were impressed by his
| earnestnesa, On Thursday last he made the
rounds of the stores at Pemhert0n and babe
| rewell to his friends, with the remark that
| he would die the next night. His friends
| laughed at nm and endeavored to cheer him
up, but he still persist ed in his belief, and a
number of his acquaintance agreed to sit up
| with him to witness his departure. He sat
unmoved until within about five minutes of
midnight. and then took a drink of applejack.
| He is alive and well.-PhtLIdelDlid Record.