davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

two handles to it, for getting a lump of
sugar into your tea. / saw right away
that it was for that but when l took the
two handles in my hand like a nut-cracker
and tried to scoop up a lump OF sugar with
it felt embarrassed. Several people who
were total strangers to me smiled.
AFTER dinner the waiter brought me a
little pink glass bottle of lemonade, and a
clean wipe to dry my mouth with, 1
reckon, after / drank the lemonade. / do
not pine for lemonade much, anyhow, but
this was specially poor. 1t was just plain
water, with n lemon rind and no sugar
into it.
"one rural rooster from Pittsburgh
showed his contempt for the blamed stuff
by washing his hands in it. / may be
rough and uncouth in my style, but hope
will never lower myself like that in COM
any."-Boston Globe.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
TWO OF THEM.
Tic Danger of Changing the Voice at
Critical Times.

Tic Danger of Changing the Voice at
Critical Times.
Ben Maddox, who for some time carried
the mail between the towns OF Hillsboro
and Whitney, Tex. is the possessor of q
va&icgated voice. He usually begins speak
ing in very high, asprate voice, and
when about hall through the sentence falls
to very deep base, in which he finishes.
One day in returning from Whitney his
team ran away, threw Ben out in the mud
and turned the light covered hack which he
was driving over on him in such manner
that, although uninjured, he was unable to
get from under it. While he was there q
stranger came by, when the following con-
versation took place:
Ben lin his fine voice )-Helo, mister, will
you please git down an raise this back up
so as l can git out?
Stranger-Yes, guess I can, but how did
you get under there?
Ben Tin his hoarse voice)-the horses ran
away and turned the back over on me-
Stranger-Lookee here; if there are two
or three OF you under thcr you are able to
raise that hack up yourselves, and am
not going to get down in the mud to help
you. And away he rode, leaving poor
Ben to get out the best way lie could
Detroit Free Press
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
AN ODD VIEW.
What Dumas Would Have Done With the
Ducats of the Dead Vanderbilt.

What Dumas Would Have Done With the
Ducats of the Dead Vanderbilt.
Hard it is, indeed. to see how Mr..
Vanderbilt was the better for his
money. Perhaps he had 100000
pounds, there or thereabouts. What
can man do with forty millionsP He
can do nothing. unless he has the i'm
agination of Dumas or the tastes of a
Beckford. Mr.. Beckford collected
truly delightful and marvellous library
of books. Mr.. Vanderbilt did nothing
of the sort. He had no particular orav-
ing for rare editions, and the master
pieces of Duseuil and LIE Gascon. Du-
mas, again, would have run through
the money like man. He would have
presented Italy to the Italians and
Rome to Victor Emmanuel. Perhaps
he would have annexed India; very
probably, at least, he would have made
the attempt, He would have carried
Duchesses captive, and his dramas
would have been magnificently per-
formed in Timbucto. He would have
cut canal through the Isthmus of
Corinth; he would have carved Mount
Athos into statue of Athos, Comte de
la Fere. He would have seen to it that
flying became a practical art, and
Frances navies would have pounced
from the central blue on Birmingham
and carried off the Liberal Seven to
chains and slavery. Dumas would
have released convicts and imprisoned
Princes. He would have fitted up in
palatial style as many caves as Shelley
ever dreamed of, and would have filed
them with the most magnificent and
most magnanimous brigands, many of
them cardinals in disguise. o, great
and glorious Alexander, exclaims the
dazzled fancy, why hadst not thou the
forty millions, while the tame Wander
bilt starved ON a pittance of few
yearly thousandsP- Saturday Rerisro.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
A FlENDlSH ACT.
The House of PatroIman Corner Dam
aged by the ExplosIon OF Dynamite.

The House of Patrolman Corner Dam
aged by the Exploslon Of Dynamite.
CLEVELAND. o., Jan. 26.-The house Of
Policeman George E. Corner, situated on
Chester street, this city, WAS badly damaged
by the explosion of dynamite about 1890
o'clock this morning. The front door was
demolished and a portion of the building
badly wrecked. Mrs. Corner, the wife of
the patrolman, and one child were In the
house at the time of the explosion, but
escaped without injury.
The act was no doubt the deed of one of
the notorious Foster gang, who have in
tested this community for years, out of re.
venge for the death of their leader. George
Foster, whom Mr.. Corner shot and killed
last Tuesday evening while resisting arrest
at Horsts saloon on Ontario street. A sus-
picious looking character was seen prowling
around that neighborhood few moments
before the explosion occurred. The prop.
erty was damaged about $3.50.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

morning at breakfast by the clerk who
usually opened the store.
ave were robbed last night, Mr.. Chase!
We were robbed.'
"Robbed! robbed! youdont mean it?"
Yes, do. Somebody entered the store
last night by the front door, and took
every cent there was in the TILL"
"Great heavens, I'm ruinedl But stopl
John, how much money was there in the
till last night"
Fourteen dollars and thirty cents"
"John, go to the police Office at once,
and enter the report on the records that
I've been robbed of twelve hundred dollars,
and that my family narrowly escaped be.
ing butchered. Meantime. III drop down
to Lawyer Huckford's, and have him draw
an assignment. I've been waiting for this
for years"
"All right sir!' (Exit.)
"Maria, give me the fourteen dollars;
you may keep the rest. ."-1id-Bits.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

ton by asserting that he had never yielded
the floor. This, In view Of the fact that the
president had recognized dozen speakers
after Mr.. paycy had taken his scat, was
greeted with shouts and ironlcal applause,
loud and long continued.
Once moro tho clerk made an effort to
read the question OF privilege and again the
presidents voice and mallet were brought
into play. Finally at 5:15 hnlf.dozen
Democrats In union moved an adjournment
until Wednesday at four p. M.
The chair held that the motion was not In
order, but the clerk proceeded to call the
roll, the chair meanwhile exerting his lungs
to their fullest capacity The vote showed
twenty TO seventeen for adjournment, and the
last name had scarcely been called when The
Democrats seized their coats aud hats and
hurried from the chamber with three time
three Clerk Vallandlgham, loaded down
with the journal and other documents. fol-
lowing suit.
When order had been restored the roll.
call was ignominiously consigned to the
waste basket by the chair, who then rcnd
tho rules OF order for the conduct of tile
contested cases ms presented by Senator
Pavey. They were quickly adopted by the
seventeen Republicans remaining and a mo.
tion 10 adjourn till this morning was put
and declared carried
Then 1t was remembered that q motion to
reconsider the previous resolution In order
to clinch IL had not been made. Upon
suggestion to Tint effect the chair decided
that The adjournment had not gone Into
effect The motion TO reconsider was put
and lost; another motion to adjourn was
carried, the Republicans slowly left the
chamber and the business of the day was at
an end.
The feeIjnp among thp Dafunrrats Ioet
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

Miss Esmeralda Longcoifin is what
might be called a chronic gigger. A few
evenings ago at n concert she giggled in
cessantly, 80 much 80 that Gilhooly, who
Was her escort, was scandalized.
Excuse me for laughing-te, lie, he-but
-te, he, he--I have-te, te, he, te-to laugh,
you know-te, he, he-every time / say
anything foolish-te he, he'
"No wonder You are always in good
humor If you laugh whenever you say any
thing foolish, " replied Gilhooly, getting up
and going out to get something to brace
him up.-Texas Siftings.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

"I can'tlet this girl travel over this road
on that hnlf-farc ticket" said the new con-
ductor to the Widow Flapiack.
"Why not? what is the matter with my
little girl2"
"Shc is no child. She is more than half
grown"
"Well, ii that don't beat everything, then
I'll give it up. Here poor little Mamie has
been travelling over this road on II child's
ticket for the last ten years, and now all at
once you say sho is no child. That's u new
way to worry the travelling public"
She paid full fare, and then the diminu-
tive girl in the corner pulled herself out, so
to speak, like marine telescope.-Tcx
;SItings.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
Revenge Is so Sweet.

Miss Augusta (six years old, ready to go
out3-Well, mamma dear goodbye: / sup
pose am to give your love to Mrs. Han.
son.
Mamma-certainly, my child. Now, don't
make too long a call.
Miss Augusta-I shall stay just three
hours, ma. You know the last time that
hateful Sadie Hanson called she staid that
length oi time, and I'm going to say hcr
back now.-Chieago Tribune.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
Late CI,ina Items.

SAN FRANCISCO, Jan. 28.-The steamer
City of New York has arrived with Hong
Kong dates to December 30 and yokohama
dates to January o. A Hong Kong paper
prints rumor that the Emperor of China,
who is only in his tenth year, Intends
to form matrimonial alliance and
take the government In his own
hands. The reported outbreak in Seoul,
Corea, December IL. appears to have no
foundation In fact. 1t is understood a con.
ference for revision of treaties will convene
In short time. 1t has been delayed by
several changes among foreign ministers,
which left several treaty powers unrepre-
sented for the time. Yoshide Jiro, for a
long time secretary and Charge d. d'Affalrs at
Washington, will go to New York shortly.
as Consul General.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
THE BLIZZARD.

The blizzard came down like thou sand OF
BRICK:
His brenthings worc cakes OF ice foar inches
thick,
And his hair strcnmed far out in q stiffness
that bent
with the swirl and the speed OF the pathway
he went.
His beard that found roots TO the liSs of his
e.ee
Hid his face In a hairy. unplerccd disguise.
And spread out IN ice.likc rigldity far
From his one cyc that flashed like II pivotal
star.
Unseen was the rest OF the dea,on-liko form
or the swifl-moving blizzard, the god OF the
storm,
But the presence was felt of nn unconauered
Will.
For tho fastrunning rivers stood suddenly
still.
And the noses OF people who Travelled the
street
Turned white with alright and the hurryng
feet
We're stung as with sting of a hundred bees,
While the blood crept away aud allowed them
to freeze.
columbus Dispatch.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
Hitting tile Barber.

There is colored barber in AUSTIN who
can talk as much as three ordinary BARRIERS.
"Just hold up, viii you, for a moment" 7"
said Hostetter McGinnis, who was in the
operating chair.
Eyes, sah, take pleasure, sab, in"
''Well now just keep quiet long enough
for me to ask you question, only one lit
tie question"
"Yes, sab, it will afford me pleasure, sab,
de greatest pleasure in de world, sah--"
81 want You to shave me after am dead.
Will you do it?"
81 will, boss"
you see | don't want to be buried alive.
want to be sure that l am dead before I
am buried. ."-Texas Siftings.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
An Unroreseen AeeIdsnt.

"YeS," sighed recent widow. 1--WE are
very unfortunate. Poor John was out OF
work Tor long time, and when IN obtained
a good job he died"
What job did he get?" she was asksd.
He joined circus and got twenty dol
lars week for putting his head in TIE
lions mouth twice day. That's all he
had TO do. 1t seems hard he should have
died"
"What did he die of"
"The lion bit his head oii,"-M Y. Sun.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

Mr.. Malapropos Ito Miss Charmante,
who is smiling and animated )-You remind
me OF an old French teacher OF mine (no-
ticing change in Miss C.'s expression at
the eadjective)-oh, not that you re old, or
look like her. not that, but
Miss Charmante (again radiant)-No?
But how then?
Mr.. Malapropos-Well she used to say,
you know, that it was 80 absurd for people
to laugh in conversation, for to laugh is
always to distort ones face.
Miss Charmante-And you consider that
l.
Mr.. Malapropos--oh, but you don't, you
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

1t appears that Sonora is entering
into competition with Florida in the
orange industry. The 7soo Republics
says that Sonora is likely to prove more
dangerous than Florida as rival to
California in orange growing.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
Fight for Possession of an Advertising
Agency.

PiTTsBuRdH, Jan. 96.-A great deal of
excitement has been caused here over dis
putc as to the rightful ownership of the
business of w. l.. F0ulks Sons & CO. Is ad-
vertlsing agency Colonel Foulk Is a re-
tired army officer and since his return
home his wife and sons have
claimed he had no interest In the
business. This dispute resulted In proceed
ings for divorce, Which are now pending.
On Saturday, Colonel Fouik gained posses
sion OF the office aud stll "holds the fort"
having the doors and windows barrIcaded,
and receiving his meals by means of ropd
His sons with number OF detectives, stand
guard outside, and propose to starve him
out
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
1T BOTHERED HIM.

How the Wyoming Humorist Amused
Himself at a Fashionable Hotel.
Bill Nye says OF his experience at the
Fifth Avenue Hotel: II found something
yesterday, at the table that bothered me.
1t was a new kind OF silver dingus, with
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

Baltimore and Philadelphia hospital phy-
sicians are prescribing the new proprietary
medicine, Red Star Cough Cure. II contains
neither morphia, opium, nor any other inju-
vlopsingreaIeass, The price y only s0oeatR
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

JAMES BAaLEY, section foreman OF tho G.
q M. X. r., who had not slept whole night
for over a year, after taking the third dose
of Athlophoros slept soundiy and has had
no rheumatism since. A, s.. Galley, drug
gist, Winkle, o.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

In bull-ight at Taluca. Mexico.
the company giving the entertainment
was fined 5000 because the performance
was tame one.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
Pick-pocket lin great trepidation)-I. sira

Bagley (soothingly)-There there; don't
apologize You've been trying to pick my
pocket, and l think il my duty to tell you
that the wallet you're lingering is filled
with bills which I've been trying to collect
for six months, and don't believe you can
do any better.-Phiia delphia CAL.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

For removing dandruff and promoting the
growth of the hair, use Halls Hair Renewer.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
THE WAY OF 1T.

How n Great Many Fraudulent Assign
ments Are Caused.
Grocer Chase lived in little house at the
rear OF his store, and was interrupted one
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

WHAT is a button,--A small event that 10
always coming off.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

prRE'sToorHAoHE DROPS cure in minute, 25o
9lenn's Sulphur Soap heals and beautifios. 25o.
GERMAN Conn REMOVER kills Corns 4 Bunions.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

TnE widows might is never so fully real
hpsbapd,-R r Asa =
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

If afflicted with Sore Eyes use Dr. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell 1t. 25c.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

A LAME e1cuse-Tho apology of a one
Iepped man
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

BRONCHITIS fs cured by frequent small
loses OF Piso's Cure for Consumption.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

A sNow-PLow is like a bad habit--A
good thing to cut adrift.--Boston Bulletis.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

The other night nan Arkansaw railroad
train passenger called the conductor and
asked:
"Are we on timer
eyes"
"Glnd. Are we on the track"
~ don't know, but I'll go forward and
ask."
He went away and, returning, said: AZ
am informed that we left the track about
five miles back. We are now running on
the county dirt road and if we don't meet
n wagon Wen be all right. You see that
there is big bend in the road back here
and we save time by taking II short cut.'-
JrkDnSaw TruvnIar
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

Bagley (confidentially to pick-pocket on
the back platform MY good fellow, wish
you wouldn't try that.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

PREFERRED creditors-Those who will not
dun.-Ihe Rambler.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

Falls Leader.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

AYERS Cherry Pectoral, in thousands of
cases, has cured n cough in few days.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

TIE lawyers Advertisement Give me q
trial
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
THE MARKETS.

CiNDRR-ELLA-The girl who shskes our
ashes
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29
A FOOLISH WOMAN.

know: that's how happened to speak of
it.-Harper's Bazaar.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

aTH sTAGE-COUGHs.
slight cough. when neglected. may settle on th|
Lungs, and Bronchitis, Asthma and Consumption bI
the results II should therefore have attention d
once, by the use of Taylors Cherokee Remedy q
Sweet Gum and Mullen.
The Sweet Gum from atres Of the same name grow
ing in the South combined with tea made from thl
Mullen plant of the old ields For sale by all drud
gists at 30 cents and 81 90 per bottle.
WALTER A. TAYLOR, Atlanta, Gn.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-01-29

Mr.. Malapropos--oh, but you don't, y,
Western cyclone., 1886-06-10
Once More Hung Up.

Chicago Special: The case of William j.
Connell against the Pennsylvania railroad
companyis is once more hung up. The jury in
Judge Hawes' court has been discharged
on account OF inability to agree on ver-
dict. This was the third trial OF the case.
Connell was an Omaha man who bought
through ticket from that city to New York
in 1880 from the Wabash. One of the
coupons carried him over the Pennsyl-
vania railroad from Philadelphia to Jer-
sey City. A short distance beyond Phila-
delphia' the conductor asked him for his
ticket. He offered the coupon, which was
part of the through ticket from Omaha. The
conductor refused to accept it, and Connell
was elected from the train. He claimed to
have received severe injuries and sued
the Pennsylvania for $15, 600 damages.
On two trials he recovered a verdict for
the full amount claimed. From the ver-
diet in the second trial the railroad COM
pany took the matter to the supreme
court, where the verdict in the court below
was set aside and the case remanded for
third trial. This trial has consumed all of
the week. w. ]. Hynes and an Omaha
lawyer represented the plaintiff and A. s.
Trude and Willard & briggs the railroad
company. The trial was hotly contested.
Western cyclone., 1886-06-10
THE CROP OUTLOOK.
GrasshOppers and Bugs Making a
Good Living in Some Localities.

Chicago dispatch: The following crop
summary isprinted in this weeks issue OF
the Farmers Review: 'As the season adj
vances reports OF the presence of insects in
winter wheat fields grow more numerous,
but beyond certain afflicted districts in
Kansas, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio the re-
ports are Of an isolated character and do
not appear to seriously threaten the gen.
eral outlook for an average crop yield.
Southern Illinois continues to send in the
most serious reports as to ravageS by
chinch bugs. Alexander Bond, Edwards,
Jefferson and Monroe counties ali in south
ern Illinois, report great injury in many OF
the fields. Grenola, Franklin and Pano-
rama counties in Kansas, FELTON, and High
land counties in Ohio, and Howard county
in Indiana, report considerable injury from
chinch bugs.
Grasshoppers are reported in numerous
quantities in Winneshiek county, Iowa,
Howard county, Indiana, and in Athens
county, Ohio.
Looking over the entire winter wheat belt,
the promise is still good for an average
yield, but the early promise that the sea-
son was to bring forth bumper crop
will now be abandoned. The acreage would
not warrant such an outcome, unless the
conditions were everywhere extremely
favorable"
Western cyclone., 1886-06-10
THE POLITICIANS.

Senator and Mrs. Logan will 60 with a
party of friends in a special car to Port
land, o., in July.
Congressman Taulbee, of Kentucky,
earned his first money after marriage by
shoveling coal at so cents day.
Hon. William HI. Grain is the only native
Texan who ever represented his state in
either branch OF congress
Senators Hoar and Cockrell are the only
two men in the senate who pronounce cor
rectly the word oleomargarine.
A Washington correspondent writes that
there is disposition in the senate to dis
cipline Riddleberger il he continues making
speeches when in muddled condition.
Holman, Randall McCreary, Beach, Nor
rison, McAdoo and the breckenridge are
credited with having constituted themselves
kind OF vigilance committee to kill of
private bills.
Senator Sewell is described by one OF his
journalistic supporters as "a very practical
railroad man." This is said to be an
almost too common accomplishment OF q
New Jersey politician.
When David Davis entered the senate it
was found necessary to make chair espe-
cially for his use. The chair has since been
offered to Mr.. Evarts, who declined it be-
cause he was unable to fill it.
Don Cameron is credited with working
hard for the confirmation OF all appoint
ments that are supposed to emanate from
Randall's influence. The idea is that to
build Randall up is to put democracy
down.
Congressman Blonnt of Georgia is one OF
the men who never votes for bin appro-
priating money out of the treasury IL he
can help it. Reed OF Maine always makes
a personal appeal to Blount to keep his
hands off before venturing to bring up q
bin that has an appropriation in it.