davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
BRIGHT BITS.

WIGGINs' STORM is almost due. 1t could be
readily overcome by appointing yacht race
for Sent. -. There Is never any wind or a
yacht racing date.
TEACHER Ito the class in chemistry)-What
does sea water contain beside the sodium
chloride that we have mentioned?
Gubbins' youngest-Fish, sIr.-Eechdn0s.
~ DON'T think much of the men, taking
them as a class. good, bad and Indifferent"
remarked Chicago belle,
Yes" returned her companion, 81 feel the
same way. Come to think of it, though.
hate the Indifferent worse of all."-Ms chant
TrdUeLer.
AN old soldier who has had both legs am
putated complains of a violent sick headache.
"What do you advise, doctor?' he inquired of
the physician who had been summoned.
II sh, uld recommend a warm foot bath i'm
mediatelv." returned the man OF WISDOM
French Wit.
MRS. BULLION, to the principal of the school
attended by her daughter: dear Madam
My daughter. Clarce, informs me that last
wear she was obliged to study vulgar frac-
tions. Pleasd do not let this happen again
If my dear child must study fractions, let
them be as refined as possible. "-Rdm6ier.
AT that moment chill. unearthly wind
seemed to blow through the apartment; the
ponderous Oaken door opened silently and
slowly, and upon its threshold stood figure
ROBBED IN withholding noiselessly forwart 1,
il said in a hollow voice +: "A inc you coming
to bed, dear? It's after O'Clock. "-Pack.
Ir Is The OPINION OF Mrs. Homespuu that
there Is nothing like he 60 * book 10 stImu-
late ones inventive facuiues. So soon as q
woman h IS made cake or pudding after the
printed receipt, She immed ately feels called
upon TO find some way of making a better one;
and she is usually successful.-BOston Tran
script.
TIE other evening DIR. X. arrived at the
house OF friend who was expecting HIM to
dinner. ~ am completely exhausted he
exclaimed. &c he mon ned his brow. my pa
tients are killing me-"
Come, doctor,' cried his friend, "you
ought NOT TO complain. 1t is only a case of
just retaliation. "-f' ench Wit.
AND the maiden shrIeked in terror,
'''Tis the fierce and dread cyclone;
| can hear its dreadful mutter
And Its weird, wild, woful tone!"
But the youth. though pale, was fearless
And he said: "Oh, bear thv pain;
IT'S the village band no practice
when the Robins Nest Again."
-MusicdE Herald.
"WHAT's the news?" asked old Mrs. Prosy
looking over her suectacles.
Alexander has left Sophia" respon ded
Prosy. continuing his reading.
1.-THE shameless thing, and 90 let it get into
the papers, tool Well, s'pose she'll sue him
Amt there nOthin' else2"
1.-The Fall Of Indian Rupees" said Prosy,
reading head line.
lyon don't say so! Well. I'm glad the old
fellows have got 1t at last. Those Eastern
despots carry things with high hand. and
for my part IL pleases me to see some of 'em
come up with. Anything more?'
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Rumors of Cabinet Changes.

That news is scarce at Washington is
shown by the rumors which correspond
ents are sending out respecting probable
changes In the Cabinet. These rumors do
not emanate from any responsible source.
They are usually started by a man who
writes for a Washington publication
known as the Sunday Herald. This man
generally pretends that he has received
valua BILE and interesting Information from
an official who is in the confidence of the
President or who is in position to know
what the President proposes to do and
who, for that reason. doesn't want his
name TO appear in print. AS matter OF
fact, however, the official in ques-
ton has no existence whatever,
except in the imagination OF the
sunday Herald man. The correspondents
send this stuff from the Sunday Herald
over the country without, as rule, Civ
ing that journal any credit tor it. There
is no particular reason why they should
give it credit for anything taken from its
columns relative to Cabinet changes and
other administration matters since such
things have no particular value.
The man who writes this sunday Her
aid stuff has been in Washington good
many years, and has, in some respects,
had rather remarkable career. He is
pretty we'll known to the correspondents,
aud at one time was we'll acquainted with
the leading men about Washington. For
the last few years, however, he has lived
somewhat secluded life. He doesn't
know anything more about what
the intentions Of the President are
than the men who sweep out the
Treasury Department. He knows enough
about public events, however, to write
plausible stuff which correspondents
think worth telegraphing. He sometimes
makes guess which comes near the
| truth, but it would be strange il he did
not come near the truth once in awhile.
1t may be that MIR. BaYard u to be
made Secretary Of the Treasury and Sec
rotary Lamar Secretary OF State, but
there is no reason to think that the Presi-
dent has decided to make these changes.
1t is even doubtful il the President,
since he has been away on his
vacation, has given the question
relative 10 Cabinet changes any thought
whatever. Ii he has 1t is certain that he
hasn't discussed it with any one who
would likely communicate the Presidents
views with regard to it to the Sunday
Herald man. While, therefore, it is posi-.
BILE that there may be several changes in
the Cabinet IN the near future, it may be
accepted as certain that the rumors re-
speeding them are nothing but guesses.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
A SHORT MARRIAGE CROP.
That Is the Opinion of a Philosophical
and Observant "COp."
Fron AZ WnsAinatot. Posi.


From the Washington Post.
al don't think there will be as many mar
riages this winter as usual" remarked po-
liceman, whose beat is in the northwestern
section OF the city, to reporter the other
evening. as he gazed thoughtfully at the moon.
"Why?" inquired the reporter.
For a very good reason, think" contln-
ued the officer. II have been on duty In TINS
section of the city for nearly ten years, and
have noticed that when good many young
fellows and girls are out walking ana star
gazing in the fall, that there are apt TO be
good many marriages in the winter. can
tell to certainty when couple are engaged
by the way they act"
do they act differently from those who are
not2"
Eyes, indeed. Just walk around with me
bit aud I'll show you those that are en-
gagged"
They had only proceeded about half block
when the reporter asked il a young man and
girl who were walking very rapidly past were
lovers.
mo-" answered the ''cop" in an undisguised
tone of contempt; that's his sister. He
would never take his girl at a gait like that,
but here's pair that is engaged" said the
modern philosopher as couple whose heads
were very close together came along. They
are engaged" he continued, al know, out
nobody else knows 1t yet. have watched
the Roadway they have been MAXI & for sew
eral weeks. and am glad to see he's been sue
cessful, and he'll be getting wedding ring
soon."
How do you know they are engagedP"
"Oh 1 can always tell by the way they look
in each others faces" he replied, as a self
satisfied look of knowing it all came over his
countenance. "She would never look in that
way at him if they weren't. for she thinks
there Is not another man so good as he, and lie
thinks there is not another little woman like
her. But, perhaps, they'll change their minds
after they are married." and the knowing
expression passed away and look Of pain
came over his face, which plainly told that
there was some one else in his house who
knew it all and was boss, too.
Asthe officer recovered from his reverie on
domestic affairs he said: lyon see, we have
walked nearly four blocks and only met three
young couples, while nearly every stoop has
several pretty girls on 1t without any young
man. Now. that IS the sign 1 go by, too. IL
there were going to be lots OF marriages those
stoops wouldn't have girls on them without
men, and If. the young men meant business
they would go out for walk, for there Is
nothing that will make fellow propose so
soon as that continued the solloquiZlng OIL
GER. as he pointed toward the moon with his
baton. watch the weddings this winter and
see if amt right" was his parting shot, as
he hurried off to answer the call Of the Ser
Qeant.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Leaves of the Fall.
From the Boston Courier.
THE SMOKERS SONG.

TIE SMOkEh > SUM-.
Oh cry no more, fill up. fill up,
Fill up the goblet to the brim,
For ruin turks within the cup,
Though pleasure sparkles on the rim.
IT, I'll we must, then let no i'll
Lurk in the bowl for you and me;
With choice tobacco let us fill
The meerschaum, corn cob or T. d.
And sit and Whit our cares away
And ne'er be to remorse prey.
THE SKATING CRAZE.
The craze will last for years, they said,
And so they all supposed.
Alas alasl their hopes are fed
The skating Kinks are closed.
No more the maiden fair and bright
Doth around the ellipse spin,
She sits upon the stoop at night
And plays the mandolin.
THE OLD STORY.
Twas on the beach he met her,
And they oft sat hand in hand
Upon the cool piazza,
AS they listened to the band.
He told her that he loved her,
Praised her hair, her cheeks and eyes,
And she listened. blushing redly,
And she answered him with signs.
Then they parted. In the city
Now he meets the mai en- sweet,
But she does not recognize him
AS she sweeps along the street.
IT'S the same with most fiirtatiors
That occur beside the sea;
She was an under housemaid,
And dry goods clerk was he.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Senator Jones GIVES Il Up.

From the 50. Paul DafiI Globe.
Senator Jones, 1t is said, has at last been
brought TO- zee the uselessness OF his campaign
work in his own behalf in Detroit. ami has
indicated his intention to return before the
wntry blasts begin to blow from OF Lake
Erie's frozen surface TO his own balmv Flor
ida, whore maidens are more kind. and
where, instead OF vigorous midw int or storms,
the gentle breezcs softly stir the palmetto
leaves. THIS declared intention OF the Sena-
tors. In view Of his persistent haunting Of
Detroit for 30 many months, Is surprising
enough. but his further purpose, as expressed
In letter to q friend, is even more surpris-
ing. He intends to be again candid date be-
fore the Florida Legislature for re election TO
the Senate.
Had his pursuit OF the obstinate Detroit
beauty, at whose shrine he knelt in vain,
been crowned with success his constituents
might have forgiven the absencefrom his post
OF duty, and even commended his cause. But
when he returns smItten with defeat, and
thus incidentally rejecting upon every true
born Southerner. he cannot expect TO be
granted the Senatorship az q kind Of conso-
lation prize. Had he returned with the pres
ilge OF victory, the young woman on his arm,
he would have been heralded with the appro-
baton due a conqueror, and the Senatorship
willingly conceded to him rs right. All the
world loves alover, but 1t frowns upon lover
who ppts left.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Another Race Wanted.

Lieut. Hem is not yet wholly satisfied
with his experience with American
yachts. His yacht, the Galatea, has been
beaten in every race with them,
but that fact does not seem to destroy his
confidence in the superiority of the model
of his vessel. He wants q race with the
Mayflower in a stiff breeZe-a breeze that
is almost a gale-and il he is beaten then
he will admit, probably, that the Amer-
can yachts are superior to the English.
The owner of the Mayhower. Gen.
Paine, has consented to give Lieut.. Hem
Just the sort OF race he wants, because
he believes that the Mayflower can out
sail the Galatea under any
A very interesting race, therefore, may
be expected soon.
II is no more than fair that Lieut.. HEM
shoulo be given a chance to prove that
his is the better yacht in high wind and
a rough sea. II he should succeed in
heating the Mayhower under such cir
cumstances he would feel that he had
little compensation for his long voyage
across the ocean. The chances are, how
ever. that he will suffer another disap-
p0intment, ana toat ne VIII return to
England thoroughly satisfied that II he
wants to win the Americas cup he must
build a yacht on the model OF the Ameri-
can yachts.
Even II the Galatea should beat the
Mayfiower in a gale there would be no
change in the model of American yachts.
For pleasure purposes they are much
IL.
ters, and, besides, American yachtmen
do not seek pleasures on the sea in their
yachts in the late fall and early winter
when gales are expec'ed. While Ameri-
can yachts are good sea going boats, and
there would be little danger in making
sea voyages in them, they are not
built with the idea OF taking long vOy-
ages, or OF using them at the season OF
the year when very rough weather pre-
walls.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Improve the Southern Addition.

! The MORNING NEWS, a few days ago,
! suggested the Importance of paving either
Whitaker, Drayton or Price streets, or
all of them, in order to assist the develop
ment OF the part OF the city south OF An
dersOn street. The suggestion has met
with favor from those who are interested
In promoting the prosperity of the city.
1t is urged, however, that the cost oil the
right of way through the extended limits
is grave obstacle in the way Of opening
either Drayton or Price streets. 1t IS
also urged that Whitaker street is so OBJ
structed south of Anderson street by the
City and Suburban railroad that. even II
paved, it would not be satisfactory
thoroughfare.
In view OF this condition OF affairs
would it not be advisable 10 pave Barnard
street south OF Anderson street? IL the
cost of paving 1t its entire width would be
too great it might be paved half its width,
with the understanding that the remain
ing half be paved at as early day as
possible. The paving of Barnard street
would accomplish the object aimed at,
viz. to provide good thoroughfare to the
southern limits of the city.
The city is the owner of the land
through which Barnard street, south OF
Anderson street, would pass for at least
| One-half of the distance. That street
| could readily be connected with other
| paved streets, and that, too, at com
! paratively small cost, A sewer
through the street connecting
with that recently constructed TO
drain the ponds in Dillontown, and the
paving of Barnard street, would add 90
per cent. to the value of the property re-
Gently purchased by the Council in the
southern part of the city.
The city must be the gain er from any
public improvements made in the south
ern section. 1t building can be stimu-
lated it Will not be long before the taxes
from improved property will be much
greater annually than the cost Of such
public improvements as are now pro-
posed. The Council has it in its power TO
assist the growth of the city very mate
rally, and 1t ought not to hesitate about
exercising that power, particularly as 1t
can do so without mourning an expense
greater than the benefits which are GER
tain to quickly flow from its exercise.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Recovery of a Lost Ring.


The story of the lady at Ocean Grove a week
or SO ago whose fat pocketbook was dropped
from @ pavilion into the waves, and who some
DAYS afterward recovered 1t by having it
washed into her hands while bathing near
the same spot, recalls to mind a somew hat
romantic circumstance which actually oc-
Cured few wears ago, and which, IL not so
fresh, il equally remarkable. A gentleman,
whose betrothed was eummering abroad,
wore upon a finger OF the left hand a ring
which enclosed under hidden spring a tiny
curl of the lady's hair. One summer evening
he visited Cape Nav. Scarcely had he
arrived and descended into the hotel din
ing room when be remarked TO mutual
friend OF his prospective bride and
himself great loss he had sustained. "My
ring-our ripg,n he said; II can't find it. I
had itthis morning. NAV have left IT, on some
washlngstand at the station" Search proved
unavaiIng; the precious souvenir was not
recovered. A full week elapsed. aud the gen
tleman returned to Cape May and went alcng
with others into the surf. Suddenly he
stopDed. Something pressed hard against
the sole of his foot. He stopped and gathered
up q handful OF sand. In 1t YVES the missing
ring. He turned pale, for the incident seemed
al most supernatural. aud. although by no
means superstitIous man, the most horrible
possibilities flashed into his mind. But here
The tinge of romance fades. The lady re-
turned safe from Europe. They were mar
red, and will together read and wonder over
this strange circumstance.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
gNDEY TO new ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEErINGs-Branch No. 80, G. X. OF A;
workingmen's Benevolent Association; Forest
CITY Gun Club.
SPECIAL NorICE-As TO Crew OF BRITISH
Steamship Saint Asaph.
STEAMSHIP ScHEDULE-ocean Steamship
Company.
AUCTION sALE-FurnIture, Groceries, etc.
by j. Mclaughlin Son,
! PRoPosALs-For the Jetties at Sabine Pass'
Texas.
EpuoArIoNAL-Miss McIntosh's Primary
School.
CHEAP COLUMN INSTRUMENTATION
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent
Fer Sale; Board; Lost; Personal; Mlscella-
neous.
TAILoRING-Bernard Brady.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
state of affairs than the original charges

state of affairs than the original charges
indicated.
1t is not improbable that if investiga-
tions into official misconduct had not been
pending in New York, the charges against
Mr.. Smith would not have been made,
and. if made, probably not pushed. The
discovery in New York city, however, OF
the existence OF ring that threatened to
rival the Tweed ring in the greatness OF
its operations, led the Philadelphia peo-
pie TO look into their own municipal
affairs. They were well repaid for their
trouble. The Irregularities which came
to light, while not involving large sums
Of money, were sufficiently large to ex-
cite alarm, The people were justified in
believing that il there were crooked
transactions relative to small matters
there might be similar transactions rela-
tive to larger ones.
Philadelphia for many years, and until
very lately, has been regarded as one OF
the best governed of American cities. II
there has been much stolen 1t has escaped
publicity. There are plenty of Philadel-
phians now, however, who do not hesitate
TO say that there is more corruption in
municipal affairs in PHILADELPHIA than in
any other city IN the country, not even
excepting New York. This is certainly
a very bold statement to make, but it is
probable that it is true.
Those who occupy official positions are
paid reasonably good salaries, and, hence,
are not driven to stealing to get the means
to meet their legitimate wants. When
they steal they do so to meet the require
ments OF extravagant habits or TO accu-
mulate wealth. They ought, therefore,
to be shown less mercy than those less
favorably situated who violate the laws.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23

There is fair prospect that the Atlanta
and Hawkinsville railroad, If built, Will
not 20 to Hawkinsville at all, but will
strike out from Fort Valley in the direc.
tlon OF Florida and South America. Until
TIDE question Of destination is decided the
people Of Hawkiusville will keep their
subscription money in their pockets.
They might begin to make estimates on a
road TO Perry, where the Central system
would open TO them nearly every Compel
ing point in the South. This would be
better than pinning their faith TO Attain
ta's leading string.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23

Alfred Hahn, who was forced to give
bond the other day in New York to sup
port strange woman who claimed him
ls her husband, has been saved by hair.
Dir rather by the color of the hair compos-
Ing his moustache. The woman said he
bad a sandy moustache, but that he had
disguised 1t with dye. Monday two bar
bers testified that his moustache was
naturally black, and the decree requiring
him to pay so much per week to the
woman was annulled.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23

The Flower that blooms in the fall as
well as the spring, is still enjoying Pc
rennial boom. A Philadelphia paper says
Roswell P. Flower. OF New York, has
dlstanced all competitors for popularity
at the county fairs this season. At fair
in Jefferson county, in that State, pair
was publicly welded as part OF the davis
programme. When the ceremony was
concluded Mr.. Flower mounted the plat
form, kissed the blusbing bride, and put
into her hand three brand new $40 bill 8,
amid tho aofhttaisatIc annlauaa of tho
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
That R.rred Ont Trade.

From the 81. LoWis Repubiican tDem.)
Senator Edmunds tells the Vermont farmers
that the way to open the worlds markets to
American products is for the United States
government to construct a ship canal at
Nicaragua. Should The Panama canal ever
be completed it would answer nearly as well.
and should it prove impracticable valuable
and inexpensive lesson may be learned from
the experiment. We already have the advan-
tage over all the great nations MS regards &C
cess to South American and Eastern Asiatic
markets, yet we 40 not capture the trade.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23

The secret Of Congressman Blounts
sopnlsrity is being discovered at last.
Ha was so thoroughly inoculated with
cOmmon sense at the time OF his birth
that his bump of self esteem was never
abnormally developed.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
The puones. of Gsro,sts,n.

From Comment and Dramatic Times.
I saw Dan Voorhees, sitting liz the Ebbtt
House the other evening listening to the sweet
batteries which a lank 1ndianian was pouring
into his ears
Are you a candidate for the Presidency"
L asked.
m an has been in national politics for q quar-
ter OF q century he begins 10 PICK himself out
for place. We reached tins noint, hut IT. il
only harmless amusement. The Dem ocratic
party has taken to playing the Duchess of
Gerostein lately, and 10 gwen to eccentri-
cities in the way OF promoting privates. We
OLD fellows are OF no account any more"
There was apathetic minor chord in Daniels
voice.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23
Mayor Smiths PeriI.

The political future OF the Mayor OF Phil
adelphia does not at present seem to bs a
very promising one. 1t is not at all prob
able that be had the remotest idea that
the City Council would proceed to the ex-
tent that IL has with respect to the charges
against him. The truth is, however, that
public sentiment in nearly all of the large
cities is being aroused against the crook
ed practices OF city officials, and the sem
timent lie compelling agreater respect for
the law.
Mr.. Smith. the Mayor OF Philadelphia,
is apparently pretty fair specimen OF the
average ward politician. His broad face lie
generally prepared to smile. and his bald
head shines conspicuouslv as il to reiute
any doubt that might exist respecting the
spotlessness OF his reputation.
All the facts Of the charges against Mr..
Smith are known, and in view OF the fact
that the majority in favor Of impeach-
ment was quite large, it would not he at
all surprising IL he should very shortly
lind himself without an Office
The CHARGES against him were frst
made in the Philadelphia Times, and
were the subject Of sneers from the ward
political bummers. Tue Times persisted.
however, and Mr.. Smith, who at the time
was in Canada, was forced TO come home
and explain. Phe charges were that he
had retained in his possession certain
moneys belonging to the city, which the
law required should be paid into the
Treasury as fast as received. Mr.. Smith
tried 10 make light OF them in the begin
ming, but, unfortunately for him, the pub
lie was not disposed TO take the same
view OF the charges that he did. The
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-23

The New York Star has evidently been
there or thereabouts. 1t says: at is one
OF the unsatisfactory things in politics
That an old Congressman with good
record cannot rest on his laurels il he de-
sires reelection. A new man who goes
10 the county fairs with an eve for horse
points and a nose for turnips is always
dangerous"