The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1886-05-29
EDITORIAL NOTICES.

|
sFem' to exist concerning the size of the
puff this paper will give in return for
favors real or supposed, We take this
opportunity to publish the following
rates, which will take effect from this
date.
For one watermelon handed in at the
office we will say: "Mr. Gardentruck,
our esteemed fellowtownsman, present.
ed us last Wednesday afternoon. with
large lucious watermelon OF the Ply
mouth Rock variety on whi,h the
printers toasted. May he live long and
prosper" In case the melon proves to
be green, this will be the form; "Far-
mer Gardentruck laid q good-sized
melon on our table one day this week.
| Thanks"
A small lot Of new potatoes will call
out the following: Uncle Abner Stub.
bleplow remembers ye editor just as We
go to press, with most lucious look
ing mess Of new potatoes. We and our
family expect to revel in the fruit dur
ing the coming week. He informs us
that the bugs are doing great damage
to the vines of many of his neighoors.
May his shadow never grow loss!'
When box of cigars Is left, this Is
the formula: "The sanctum of the
B sll was invaded last Tuesday by the
genial presence of Tom Liverpills. the
handsome young proprietor Of the Rad
Front Pioneer Drug Store, who placed
on tap a full box of choice Habanas.
Here's to you, Tom! Our many read
ers will remember that he has just got
in full new line Of paints, oils, axle
grease, condition powders, perfumery,
putty, and other drugs and toilet arti-
cles."
G;eon corn will produce the follow.
ing editorial effect: Eye scribe's fansi-
ly has beon enjoying another luxury for
tho last four days, Mrs. Deacon Church
debt having presented our wife with
good doz,n of roasting ears. Such ia
vors as this are fully appreciated by
yours truly, as vol as by his wife and
family. My Mrs. G. meet her just re-
ward, is our earnest wish"
A bouquet will be acknowledged like
this: Yesterday afternoon, as ye pen
cil-pusher was busy with an unexpected
lot of j,b work, who should come in but
Miss Birdie Pistolpractice, the charm
ing daughter of our worthy fellow citi-
zen, Colonel PstoIpractice. She pre-
sented us with beautiful bouquet of
wild flowers, which she had plucked
with her own fair hands. Among the
varieties we noticed fireweed, dandelion,
buckwheat, red-top, tansy and sun
flowers. 1t shall remain many days to
beautify our sanctum. Our wife is oil.
so pleased with it,
The giver Of a spare rib may expect
this; "Our genial and justly popular
neigdbor, Major Porcine, having fire.
qaently noticed the hungry look ON the
printers face, took occasion early the
other morning, to leave mammoth
spare rib at our humble abode, taken
from one Of his famous drove Of South
down porkers. We and our family
have accordingly been feasting on fresh
meat. BY tt Q way, wa understand that
the Major will accept the nomination
for the leg sislature If it is rendered him.
He is the man for the place"
A turkey will inspire this; "WhiIe
sitting in our sanctum sanctorum about
III O'Clock Thursday morning. reclining
our head in our hands, we were greatly
surprised as well as pleased at having
Colonel McTough walk in with q mys-
terious air and bearing q bundle under
bis arm. We had just finished writing
our leader found on tho 6rst page, en-
titled "True Tariff r sform IS Compared
with Tariff Jugglery," and felt consider
ably fatigued, but it was Immediately
iispelled when the handsome Colonel
disclosed large fat turkey in the bum
lie, which he assured us was for our
Thanksgiving dinner. To say that we
we're pleased would but family express
he emotions which surged through our
'reast. We Immediately called our
wife, who was even more pleased than
ve. 1t is such things as this that makes
ife amid the exacting cares Of the news
,aper Office endurable, and causes us
o keep on the editorial harness without
epining. Colonel, may heaven re-
yard you! 1t may not be out of place
o inform our many readers that the
,oloners friends expect tho coming leg
stature to elect him to the United
tates Senate. He seems to bo the un-
nimous choice Of our people. We pre-
let that he will get it on the first bal
ot."-Esteiline (Dak.) Bell.