davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08

hotel mans life is not wholly destitute Of
Joy and sunlight, after all Hotel rolls
when properly fired, make a fine appearance
as an ornamental corner on an iron fence
They have wonderful powers of endurance,
also. People who have died suddenly from
eating the hotel rolls have, in several in
stances, been cremated. When the ashes
were carefully examined the roll was found
to be intact
do not say that the rightof way through
perdition is not paved with good intentions,
but l believe that many of our leading citi-
zens will be disappointed when they get there
to find the hotel roll on all the principal
streets, placidly resisting the wear and tear
Of centuries, as well as the disastrous effects
of the low, hot, malarious climate
This roll is the bane of our modern civiliza-
tion. 1t is carrying thousands down to the
disagreeable realms of death. 1t is attractive
in appearance, and when it beams upon us
with its siren smile we are too apt to yield.
But let us beware. No man should put a
hotel biscuit in his mouth to steal away his
brain.
If had a son who wanted to become q
hotel man, and eat these death balls, | would
say to him: BUY hotel if you wish
Henry providing his name happened to be
Henry, and run it and make money, but
have home that you can go to for youl
meals. Do not eat your own biscuit
saw negro week ago, in a Chicago
museum, eating lamp chimneys and glass
paper weights. His health seemed pretty
fair and / asked him how he preserved his
longevity. He said he did it by drawing the
line at baking powder rolls.-Bill Nye il
Boston Globe.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
A WAY Candidates NV

Arkansaw candidate Ito Knight of Labor
The strikers are right. They have arisen
To maintain great principle, and earnestly
hope that they will succeed | am with
them, openly and above board
K of LII am glad you are with us and
don't think you will lose anything by it
Candidate-Oh, I'm not thinking of any
gain or loss. 1t is a matter Of principle with
me.
The candidate, few moments afterwards,
meeting a capitalist, says: "Well, / see that
the strikers are raising old Nick / am in
favor of putting down such lawlessness.
Those fellows seem to think that the possession
of money deprives man of all his rights as a
citizen. | have told the strikers that even
though my election depends upon them
must denounce their actions"
Capitalist-You shall not lose anything
by your fearlessness
Candidate-Oh, had not thought of that
do not stop, during a crisis of this kind, to
consider gain or loss. | am law and order
man, myself.
Capitalist am glad to know it, but if l
were you would not be too free in the ex-
preston of my opinion
Candidate-Oh, know there's danger in
it, but / cannot refrain from speaking my
mind | am law and order man. myself
Arkansaw Traveller
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
Lookinr for Grnrn.


A traveller for a wholesale Detroit house
wn~ waiting in the depot at Pontinc the other
when stranger approached him and
asked:
Isn't your nam" Green, Of Grand Rupidsl
mo. sir
"Ah, beg yuur pardon never saw him.
but expected him here to meet me. Green il
going tn travel with a circus this year and
was to give Inc so to post him M on some
new cutcht,,
SO you'yr cot -omcthug new luerird
the Detlotrr
''Nes, a few things There is one little trick
] gave tou drummer few weeks ago. and
he's made 50 on it already"
"Mayhe You'd he kind enough to give it
away To mr' I'm one Of the bows, YOU
know
Certainly The trick i, to tel thr date Of
any coin man may have in hi, pocket with.
out your looking at it"
But you can't do that
oh yes | can. Have you yut any coins
in your pocket"
"Nes twenty Of them
We'll, can write down the date of each
and every one OF them
Say, III het YOU so youran't' exclaimed
the drummer
Don" said the other, Il, lie pulled out a
bill
very respectable looking man was stand
ilng by, and the money was PLACED in his
hands
Now, said the sharper "you turn vour
lace I" the wall and fold your arms will
write down the date, aud we win compare
them"
At the end Of three minutes liz. had twenty
dates, and they lut the coin, on the scat 10
make comparison The man Ind in only
two dates ont OF the lol
I'll take that tomcr, said tie Detroiter,
as he rose mp aud looked around
But he never did. The stakeholder had
Sid out. and tie man with the tricI, was a
bigger chap than he cared to tackla-Datroit
Free Press
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
The Power of the Washington Hand Press.

The Power of the Washington Hand Press.
A large man with a moustache brooding
over his mouth like some great national sor-
row visited The Bell office this week He
was travelling for an eastern house which
makes a speciality of printing materials and
sight drafts. He tried to sell us a large press
with wheels on it, and strongly made and
binding chattel mortgage attachment.
He spoke very highly of this latter feature
and said their mortgages were never known
to break. He said the mortgages they were
now putting in for printers in the northwest
were alike satisfactory to themselves and the
sheriff. He also spoke incidentally of the
press itself, and we gathered that it was to be
set up and fed with white paper, which would
come out nicely printed with tariff editorials
and original clippings We judged that
either a Democratic or Republican press
could he ordered and that there would be no
extra charge for an attachment to run in an
original poem.
Our next impulse was to seizs a pen and
write out check sufficiently able bodied to
cover the cost of recording the mortgage.
Turning, we caught reproachful glance
| from the dark, cast-iron countenance OF the
| old Washington hand press az desisted.
| Part of the desist was caused by not being
able to call to mind the address of any bank
which had ever put in sealed proposals for
handling our checks
To turn the matter off we asked the man
if he had sample press with him. He said
he had not Then we said that we did not
believe that his house would start him out
on the road without one and that it was our
opinion he had pawned it. He seemed agi-
tated, and after leaving a bill for some type
we ordered of his firm last week he went
out.
When the press peddler had formally put
on his injured look and jumped the office, we
turned to the old hand press with a sigh Of
relief After all, that style of press seems to
give the greatest satisfaction. No one can
write intelligently of the power of the
press who has not pulled it. 1t seems
to have early in life ordered a
large consignment of choice, springy
power, and to still have most of it on hand.
1t is all used in holding back The man who
said the press was the greatest power in the
world had pulled the Washington hand
variety. Some people may think that Wash
ington should have kept right on crossing
the Delaware and freezing to death at Valley
Forge, instead of stopping to invent balky
printing press.
All this will go to explain why we still worl
off the paper on the stationary press, when
we might have one which would be amply
competent to get up on the editorial TRIPOD
and put its feet on the table. Some people
may prefer to have a press sitting arounC
the office blowing about having more brain
than the editor, but we do not long for it
Give us, rather, the simple society of tn,
hand press, which will not shy at the cars
and was never known to kick its hind fee
through the dashboard. .-Esteline Oak,
Bell.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
a Complicated Case.

"Heth, doctor, i''s a serious case nh surges-
ton oh dah BRAIN ronru,siun Oh dnh lihher
an general utility an nervous projection
I've studied medicine" ar ! know, The
,Judre
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
rsefnI Hints

When sitting hen is too imdisposed to
stay on the nest continuously, let her rest
alternate days and tie the rooster on the nest
while she's resting.
The SCOT can be thoroughly swept out of
chimney by dropping goose in it at the
top, The goose, in vainly striving to fly up
ward, thoroughly cleans the chimney with
its wings.
By immersng the entire body in soft tar
before taking bee-tree, you can render
himself inyulnerable to the assaults Of the
lees.
You can smoke Il rabbit out Of a hollow by
smoking cigarette close enough To let the
stencil enter the hole.
The scent Of whisky ON the breath can h,,
subdued by smearing as.frtida on the
moustache
If you make habit OF keeping live mice
in your pockets, your loose change will be
comparatively safe from your cnterprisine
wife.
If you take a small stepladdpr with ynu
into the theatre it will he very ,cryicrahle
when the stage j, harricadcd from view hy a
big hat
Freckles eau be removed from the face
with sandpaper Life.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
THE
Philadelphia
Weekly Times
Attractive, Entertaining
Instructive, The Fam
lily Journal Of
America.
STORIES OF TIL WAR
ILLUSTRATED IN EVERY ISSUE
A Paper for the Homes of the
Land-Sparkling and Origi-
nal in Every Feature.

On the First of January next,
new departure in every feature
of the WEEKLY TINES will be
made. Every number will be
literally Illustrated in its war CON
tribution, which have SO long
been a specially in its columns,
and its Stories, which will be
greatly enlarged from the pens of
the writer's and in current His
tory, Biography, Politics, Art,
Science and the leading events of
the day.
The time has passed for the
weekly journal Of the city to fill
the place Of a newspaper. The
daily newspaper from the great
centres of news now reaches into
every section Of the land Every
inland city and every town of
Importance have their daily news
papers, and the local weekly,with
the wonderful progress Of provin-
cial journalism, meets every want
that the daily newspapers fails to
supply. The metropolitan week
Iy Of to-day must be much more
than a newspaper; it must be a
magazine in popular literature
it must lead in popular illustration,
and it must meet every
requirement of the intelligent
reader of every class.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
wan Street Jokes.


"Are you making any deals in cotton now,
Major.' he asked of a Georgian the other
day.
"No, not any
"Found something to pay better"
well, ! can't say that have; ! am busy
just now looking for a mathematician to
figure how long it takes man, after losing
two plantations IN cotton deals, to bring up
within yelling distance of a second class
poorhouse."
A dealer in ground cotIees III western
city was approached the other day by a
commission merchant who desired to dispose
Of 100 barrels Of beans at low figure.
"Beans" exclaimed the merchant; "why,
what use can | put them to"
use them in your Coffee
"ln my colfeel How little knowledge of
the coffee trade you outsiders possess! If l
should put in beans at their present price,
I'd be bankrupt in a month, Bring me
carrots and parsnips and old corn, and Ill
talk business, wall Street News
Bachelor, WSower and Marrying Presi-
dents.
James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland
were the only two bachelor presidents, and
if the latter marries Miss Folsom this year it
will leave the Pennsylvania president alone
in the celihate list of chief magistrates Four
presidents We're widowcrs at their inaugura-
tion-Jeilersou, jackson, Van Buren and
Arthur Sixteen We're married when they
went into the White House. One alone,
President John Tyler married while hold
ing the executive title
President Tyler's first wife was Ietitia
| Christian, daughter of Robert Christian, Of
New Kent county, Virginia. Miss Christian
was a noted eastern Virginia belle, and when
her husband became president assumed the
White House duties Her health was feeble
at the time, and she died there in Septem-
ber, 1912
President Tyler remained II widowrr but a
short time, paying the Johnsonian compli-
ment to his first spouse by soon selecting
another, Miss Juliet Gardiner of New York.
She was the daughter of the wealthy gentle
man who owned Gardeners island, familiar
to many naval people as near the roadstead
in east Long Island where the naval prac-
tice squadron, with the Annapolis cadets.
spends much of its summer cruising and
exercising. Although Mr.. Tyler was the
first presdent-and 50 far the only one--to
marry in the high Office, the ceremony was
not performed in the White House, but at
the Church of the Ascension in New York.
June, 1874 After the wedding grand re,
ception was given in the Executive Mansion
New York Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
BILL NYE ON HOTEL ROLLS.
A Warning Against the Ntacadamized Bis
cnft Of Madam Civilization

warming tBaihst hAp 'S''-
cult of Modern Civilization.
Guests at remote American hotels, con-
Quoted on the You're a-payin' plan, have no
doubt noticed, after few weeks at the house,
heavy feeling in the pit of the stomach. AT
first this is mistaken for mental gloom, but
tkis is an erroneous diagnosis 1t is gastric
gloom 1t is induced by the great hand-to-
hand conflict between the bomb-proof biscuit
of the hotel and eternal justice
Eternal justice comes out on top, perhaps,
but she is in poor shape to tackle the next
one. These wads of gun cotton, plaster paris
and alum are met with at the hotel where
the Grape is never taken off the door. Death
and baking powder biscuits are synonymous
terms. The old-fashioned poet used to pic
ture death in the act of moving down his
millions with scythe and a wappy-jawed
snath, but now the bard could not be more
vigorous in his language than to say:
Death shied hotel biscuit at him,
And he slept
These macadamized rolls are made now
with flap on the top, l notice. similar tc
the flap on an old-fashioned pocketbook
The hunting case biscuit is found to be
superior to the old STYLE which could be
opened with a nail. The present hotel roll
that is, the one we have in our minds
made of condemned -four that has been re
fused on the Indian reservations and turned
over to the war department. This flour,
with amalgam filling and fireproof works,
makes roll that will resist the action Of
acids or the grand jury.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08

"Are you making any deals in cotton now,
Major," he asked of a Georgian the other
day.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
"Out. namnrd s,,nt ..

The best way to clean chrome. Ethel. j,
TO lay it to soak in turpentine over night.
and then hang it before an opsn fire To drv.
Hang it close. Ethel han. il cla-r. Push ons
corner under the grate couple Of inches
Burviette, in Brooklyn Easlc
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
A Thnmrhtrnl mif.

Husband despcratelyl-Lif has na longer
any charms for me I'll kill myself. lll take
poison.
Wife palmiyl-Well, if you do takc poison,
my dear, get the kind that's advertised "Doni
die in the house = HarpeIs Bazaar
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08

Pig Iron Kelly, the father Of tho house
is, at times, almost disposed to be ashamed q
bis offspring Merchant Traveller.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-05-08
STORIES OF THE WAR

WlII be published in each number
from the ablest writer's who par
ticipated in the bloody drama of
civil strife, and each will be
profuscly Illustrated. The most
entertaining and instructive
STORIES from the best writers of
fiction will appear in each issue,
with Illustrations.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
Mps. nARnEN,s pocroR.s ELI.

When George Harden died in this city on
March g. le72 he left Will. HIS property CONSISTING
almost entirely Of railroad stocks and ponds was found
TO amount to SllG9979. His widow Elizabeth Harden
ouped for letters OF administration III. relatives OBJ
cccd and legal controversy ensucd II resulted IN
compromise By which Mrs Harden received sl@J,ooo'
the LAWYERS getting "A large proportion OF The resi-
After Nj Harden, death his wife Was ~ III health enc
onnIoyeI Dr Moses - Van pct, bat after two years
dismissed him lie sued her In January 1872 cIMu!h
that she had a.rced pay him $1,000 year TOT MS
services rendered from March 20, lS12 10 December
30 s-l aud that this contract there Was balance
duo OF s3,1ii. 1870, ,, e.u,,-,
in tho Superior Court IN l-1-, and resulted
in a disagreement Of the jury soon hittf NIs'
Harden died and the suit was revived against her eN
ecutors The second trial before Justice Freedman re-
suited Yesterday disagree mont Of tho jury, which
stood eight tho pIintn and four for tie defendants
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
NEVS FROM THE SUBURBS.
rNsIrR.NcE MEN ARRESTED.

Tho firm of Armstrong Anthony opened an insu
office two weeks ago In the Flemnng BUILDING, ~
inVton and MONTGOMERY SITS, Jersey CITY, inc .i
sisnd of two fashIonaby dressed young men, VINO
apparently prepared to do an extensive 5 obonv the
Within the last two or three days l. H. Anthony, ln
irnior member OF the firm has devoted nlmsel 70 ma
small checks cashed by neghborng liquor seleIs anu
cashcd a check for 1913 and learned that IL was
less woman who keeps boarding house ID me SUI I
Anthony was arrested yesterday on complaint vi uSS
man and IN the afternoon his partner was nriestou
Anthony was I'm the insurance business III BrOokyu -
year ago and Is said that he was arrested on
~ state Mccall for fraudulent trahhc
tions but was not tried he left the state inc conPo
represented themselves In jersey CITY as agcn.s bS
on two charges uttering worthless chechs anu o"Jn
on insurance business without q license
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
wEsrcIEsrER COUNTY.

EAST TARRYrowN.-On Thursday evening there was a
desperate night between tho lrishmen and Italians
cmnlOycd nj Shaft No. . of the Aqucdnct Club7'
stones aud knives freely used Tho Tarrytown po-
lice succeeded In Grrcstng about dozen OF the ring
leaders.
SING SING.-ZebuOn g. Inslec has been appointed n
trustee OF the Board OF Education to MI tho vacancy
caused by the death ~ Justice William {. Howe-.
MI VFRNoN-Accordiug To supplemental account
acd IN the County Clerks Office by eX-Judge clifford as
lied from the assets is 5000 49, while tho claims
are Slla.5G7 10.
WHITE PLANS Assistant DistrictAttorncy Dykman
and Detective Wood. OF Plnkertons Agency, arrived
Yesterday bringing Edward f. Imnins, one of the Tar
rytown burglars from Salem Mass. whore no had been
ronuitt Fl 10 m for highway robbery and assault com
Inttct i'm Lynn weeks ago. Inc Governor OF Mass.
ncLusetts refused to permit Iimnns 20 be removed
fcd OOO I'm cash the bond requiring the prisoner To he
returned To salem IN April or May Dstrct-Attorncy
D,krr mas con ruted to accept hm witness. Will
lam O'Mara was discharged yesterday.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
ANOTHER OCEAN TRAMP WRECKED.

The steamer Saxon, an ocean tramp which
sailed from here on January 2o for Cape Haytien:
in command of Captain Wyman and WITH crew OF
about twenty-eight, with a general cargo Out no
Messengers. has been wrecked IN The CalcOs faSS-
AGE between the Bahamas and Marlguana Nj.
Pomares of No. SO Broadway, was the c"nslgnor'
lint last night lie had received only meagre IN
formation IRON the engineer who had arrived at
Kingston Jamaica The vessel had stranded ana
become total wreck. and the captain, two mates,
ana three of the crew had been lost. Tho Saxon
had on board 81 600 in specie and the following
cargo for Cape Hayden:
Twelve packages of bread 25 barrels OF pork 1872 bar
rels of -four 800 boxes OF dried fish, loo boxes OF soap
2s4 pounds OF cheese. l72O ponds OF butter 5,OOg
Mounds of lard 1877 pounds OF ham, barrels OF peer
fsrres of sugar bags rice case OF scales boxes
of candles barrels of porter barrels OF apples case
of hooks cases Of hardware, case or tongues, a.
esses of vegetables Of carriages cases OF sau-
sages barrels OF n-mea barrels Of beans, 10000
feet of lumber bales OF hay go gallons OF PetrOieu
bales OF donestcs Of lamp goods aud cases OF
paper.
She was an iron screw steamer of 3S5 tons gross
measurement l54 % feet long, % feet beam Ia
feet depth of hold. She was built at Port Glasgow
in 1878, and owned by ii. +. Finley Co., OF Lly-
erpool. Her value was about $leOUOO; DOth the
vessel and cargo were insured.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
GEORGE CABOT WARD A LUNATIC.

George Cabot Ward, who since June last has
been suffering from general pares-. was yesterday ~"
,udred by a sherns jury and Commissioners John Won
Gaher A. j. Requier aud Dr. Elliott. appointed by the
supreme Court be OF unsound mind ana Incapable OF
taking care Of himself his property. Mr. Ward IS
vell.knovn broker His wife. Fannie NJ Ward, ana h,
suu and daughter Samuel g. Ward, r. ana Marion Naitl
Low signed the petition asking to have his sanity tried
DR. Detmold testified that Mr.. Ward has been suffering
from general FOR the last six or eight months ana
that his health been gradually failing 10 was also
proven that ward has assets In cash To the amount
which yield him income OF about 1000. ana IN aldI
ton to this there 10 fund In trust Tor MIN IN Boston
from which he receives annual Income OF nearly
g. 300 Application Will probably be- made to the court
TO have committee OF Mr. Wards person ana estate APP
pointed.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
BROOKLYN.

Policeman Connolly. OF the Fifth Avenue station was
missed from the force yesterday. re was CA1Iscu
win assauItiug sIrl named Agnes Mcnamara,
oxino IN the disturbance caused by the noise Of tho
trains ha4rOokyn Elevated Railroad al the services
I'm tic Park Avenue Primitive Methodist Church, the
members have Instructed the trustees TO sell The prop
erty
Frederick scharf OF No 704 DeKalbaye., whose lot
terry ticket drew onehfth OF the capital prize OF 9oO
has received his money lie says that TIC rs hhH ne
will do Is to marry.
The members OF the Salvation Army who ar
rested in Fulton-st tuesday evening. while holding an
outdoor meeting were round not guIy ny romeo Jus
tce Eenua yesterday
The Grand Jury handed down a single indictment yes
teriay and the court directed that IT, II
stated that II related to the murder OF fcter hansen Al
Hamilton last month, the mystery OF WhlCA was
NOT solved. No arrest has been made IN the case.
A live alligator a few inches in length escaped from
the paper In which he had journeyed from the south
i'm the Post Office on Thursday. lie was captured ana
the young woman whose ADDRESS was on the DoA WAS
cent for TO take her present home
Holm l. Lockwood, age forty four OF No Al Tayorst
was arrested yesterday charge OF bRamy preferred
divorce. In 1872 he married Miss Mary T. White, but
they separated few years ago. and recently Mrs iock-
Lockwood married Miss Abigail +. Reed.
In regard Gsposng OF the surplus OF 900 after
paving the depotOrs in the dcfunct Atlantic state Bank
In full Judge Pratt decided yesterday that the amount
must be interest AT cent TO the creditors
OF the bank whether they waived their claims 10 Inter
cat or not According this decision the stock Oders
will fail to reimbursed for their stock In the bank
David soden who lives No 81 Troutman ST., adver-
tses for Information regarding his grandson who was
taken by family to nuTse III ZS'o ne name was hoo-
rcd SodeD's daughter The mother died a Jew weeks
after the boy born, and the father has not been
heard from for several years.
Patrick Keegan. of No. 1927 Adamsst.. was taken TO
Bellevue Hospital yesterday. He insane and un-
usually violent. His delusions that he was com
pc led by person living inside Of him TO turn hand
springs FOR an and then for another hour to climb
ladder that was fastened to the SKY.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-20
NO srEEPLEoHASIYG AT SHEEPSHEAD BAY.

Declarations in the Suburban Handicap, the
great the first day OF the Coney Island Jockey
secretary has received OF only four entries One
OF these however is the famous Freeland, who as
signed the top weight 1870 pounds Mr.. Corrigan, HIS
owner has scratched his fast mare Pearl Jennings. In
the same race Three of his representatives. Modesty
Lizzie Dwyer and swinery, still remain in prob
able that no Intends bringing at least part OF his stable
East early In the season The other two scratches
Avalon and Swift The club HAS decided to abandon
and hurdle racing permanently In place
OF them will be the races on the turf track which Ia
now completed. The race on the turf will wind up the
sport each day. - -, d.
aud hurdle would be abandoned at
Monmouth Park Captain j. II. COster, secretary OF the
Association writes TO THE TRIBUNE that the statement
10 false and without foundation"