The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-11-18
THEY COME HIGH.
Tho Price Paid by an Excitable Man for
a Grand Bed-Bug Hunt.

Crand Bed-kSug HunC.
"How potent for good or evil are
the little things OF this life and this
world" moralized gentleman whose
business takes him past the post-office
corner several times each day
Cling-g-g!
80, you need not ring your chest
nut bell on me. The sentim mt has a
nutty flavor. L know, but the applica-
ton is entirely original. Most people
believe that all small things are trifes.
and there's where big error creeps
into their calculat ons. 'Creeps.'
That's just the word l was cropping
around after to express my application.
I refer to bed-bugs. They are small
things, but no trifies. They are more
expensive, weight for weight, than
first-water diamonds!' 9.
Had to buy new bedstead and sell
the old one to a secondhand dealer,
eh?"
'.If that was all wouldn't mention
it. No, sir, one little tramping, med
dlesome bed bug has just cost me more
than hotel clerk headlight is worth.
l'll tell you what the parasitical little
wretch did to me. The first thing he
did to me was to gallop up and down
my back and wake me up. | made a
grab, or rather frenzied series of
grabs, for him, but | wear a perforated
undershirt, and the way he wove in
and out through the meshes nullified
all the grabbing was capable of.
One would imagine that when a
healthy. muscular man, weighing one
hundred and sixty pounds, assaults a
poor, lonely insect. an immediate and
hurried retreat would be made by the
party of the second part, but this wasn't t
that kind of bug. He found an inn
| pregnable position up between my
shoulders and commenced crocheting
my undershirt as if it was fun. Twist
ing my right arm over behind my ear l
dealt vicious and resounding thumps
as far down my back as could reach.
Then l retreated in disorder and nearly
dislocated my left arm in making a
sortie from the opposite direction.
"'What in the world are you aboutp'
inquired my wife in sweet and mellow
| tones that she brought with her from
| Vermont, the drumming having dis
| turbed her slumbers. aet
I" Trying to smash (thump) an in
fernal bed bug (thump), and l can't
(thump) reach him. @
/" Three strikes, outr shouted my
wife. laughing.
"'Hang bed bugs, and baseball and
all other pestsn responded |, and as
soon as | commenced to talk excitedly
that bug mizzled as if he had been an
umpire in Kansas City.
''After my wife got through laughing,
she said she would have the bed over
hauled and reduce its census next day.
/ I was not present at the investigation,
but | have no doubt that it was
thorough, for when | went home the
next day to dinner, there was none
wife said she and the girl had been toe
busy, and I don't think she lied.about
it. In the back yard l found several
sections of discouraged and disjointeo
bedstead One leg was broken, thu
head-board was split, the varnish hac
mostly been turned white with boiling
water, and its breath smelt of soap
suds and turpentine. The springs
looked as if the Marquis of Queens
berry had got mad at them; the mat
tress had been .bested' in an encounte
with nail or hook; the children hat
been betting each other with the pill
lows until they looked as If they wer
moulting, and the carpet was strug
Cling to overthrow the alley fence.
.''We've looked every where TO
that bug and can find him. Are yo'
sure you felt onep' proclaimed and in
quired my wife.
.Was sure I felt onep" Think O
that for question!
"Well. my wife remarked that mas
much as the bug might be hidden i
the wallpaper or in a crack of tn
floor, it would be we'll to repaint an
repaper the room, and | weakly cor
sented. Once the painters and pape
hangers were inside the house, ever
carpet came up, and for fortnight
slept in the kitchen beside the cool
stove. paid the bill this morning
three hundred and twenty-five dollars
.'The bug? O, he escaped. ID
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