Smyrna times., 1886-07-21

that they may reasonably be expected
to dO.-WhGtely.
The New York State hop crop will
be a failure; and are sowing them
with buckwheat.
There is some hope that the climate
of New York may finish John L. Sulli-
van. 1t has Just killed a rhinoceros.
The standard of Prohibition has been
raised over Rhode Island, and loud are
the walls that come from former sellers
of rum.
A Virginia boy who couldn't speak
a word" was considered a family treas
ure until it was discovered that he
could whistle.
The travel by boat and car has greatly
increased, hundreds of mountain tour
lists passing north to the leading points
in the Catskills.
There's no use in talking of wheat
corners or lard corners or oil corners at
this season of the year. What every
body wants is cool corner.
General Fisk, the prohibition candi-
date for Governor in New Jersey, is
spoken of by paper there as Ajax
defying the Jersey lightning"
There are lots of people who mix
their religion with business, but forget
to stir it up well. The business invari-
ably rises to the top as a result.
A Kansas farmer, seeing his son
about to tread on a rattlesnake, rushed
up and threw him back with such
force that the bOy!s thigh was broken.
The same old story. Again the
word comes from Delaware that there
is poor outlook for peaches" That
means, of course, an effort to boom
prices.
Chauncey Depew is given as author
ity for the story that a woman on Long
Island said she had eaten so many
CLAIMS that her waist rose and fell with
the tide.
During the last four years 100000
peach trees and 5000 acres of water
melons have been planted in Barnwell
county, S. C. OF the peach trees 10000
are bearing.
The failure of J. de Rivera & Co.,
sugar merchants Of New York, has
wrecked several slate and marble COM
panies at Rutland, VT, where de Rivera
was largely interested.
Wanted.-A bathing suit that won't
make pretty girl look homely. A
liberal reward will be paid to the ar
chitect who will prepare such design.
MANY FAIR BATHERs.
Zone thing is incomprehensible,"
remarks the Atlanta Constitution. Well.
it is a distinct gain to have won such
an admission. The COurier-JOurnaI
would not have conceded even that
much.
Four hundred bricklayers and
masOns at Milwaukee have struck be-
cause the employers will not sign an
agreement guaranteeing the continu-
ance of the eight-hOur system for three
years.
A local paper in Virginia chronicles
that mosquitoes are very thick this
summer. We never saw a very thick
mosquito, nor do we fear one Of that
sort. The sting's the thing. wherewith
he jabs while lowering on the wing.
Prophet Stone Virgins, of Canada
having made his predictions and ar
rangments for sea shaking and sky
splitting storm on the afternoon of Sep
tcnber 29th, sharp, it is high time for
brother De Voc, the Wizard of Hack
ensack, to consult the elements and
support or confOund Wiggins.
Mr. Beecher finds that President
Cleveland is very popular in England.
He does not care to comprise the free
trade Administration by saying too
much about Home Rule. lie is more
diplomatic in London than he was in
America, and more inclined to favor a
truce when the Irish question is dis
cussed.
1T is a remarkable fact" remarks
the Troy Telegram, "that large num-
Der of persons in Troy are becoming
deaf in one ear. Has the repeated use
of the telephone anything to do with
the increasing deafness?" Considering
how deaf President Cleveland remains
to the public demand for the removal
of Mr.. Garland it may be that he has
been using the telephone excessively
with both his ears.
Now | will take about six weeks
vacation" said the editor-in-chief,
"and leave man in my place, at great
expense.
How so? thought you were to
stay it Out?"
$50 / am, but.the public must think
we are able TO hayea$1 900 play spell I"
But they viii know your writings ?"
81 had thought of that, and have ar
ranged for it."A
"How SOP"
al will omit the eternal blue of
heaven and substitute the azure
dome. The Shiny trail Of the Office
seekers I will change to the admira-
ton for our distinguished citizen
Bevy Of beauty shall be made the
girls who were there The silent
watches of the night will read along
toward bedtime}p
All right when do you start ~
Tomorrow .n--Brick POmerOys
Democrat.