The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1886-11-26
Jake Contributes,

Looking for Jake, / suppose" said Sar-
geant Bendall as Mr. Dunder entered the sta
tion yesterday with very long face.
"Vhell, l like to see Shake. doan' know
vhas shall do init dot boy"
"What is it this time?"
Mr.. Dunder laid five alleged half dollar
pieces on the desk in a row and replied:
Maybe you see dose"
u do"
MAYBE it vhas goot money!"
Every one of 'em is bogus!"
"Dot ish SO. Some fellers pass 'em on me
sometimes when was in hurry. I puts 'em
all in box behindt der counter. Vhell, last
Sunday Shake takes notion to go init Sun
day school Dot vhas all right. 1t vhas der
vhay to make goot boys. Dis morning der
superintendent comes down to me NIT dis
bogus money and says:
"'Mr. Dunder, you haf some boy named
Shaker
@sYes,
"'He vhas init our Sunday school yester-
day. He vhas VERY nice boy
"'So he vhas'
awe take up leedle collection to buy
some new books und your son Shake puts all
dis money in der box. What shall you do
aboudt itr
"Vhell, sargeant, you see how it, vhas. Dot
vhas some more tricks by Shake und haf to
shell out two dollar und half good money to
make up"
"And where is Jake!"
"He ships oudt When dot man comes in,
und doan' find him any more Maybe you
SEQ him pretty soon? If SO, yust tell him dot
vhas sooch good shoke dot I laugh all oafer
und dot he can come home. vhill be laugh
ing ha ha! ha! when he comes in. / shall
keep laughing till he goes down cellar init me
to see if dot gas meter vhas leaking, und
den il you hear somebody yell oudt dot he
vhas kilt und won't neafer do SO any more you
go right along and mind your business. Itvhas
Shake and me, und I vhas taking dot bogus
money out of his hide!"-Detroit Free Press
A Comedians Joke on q Humorist.
When Eugene Field, the genial Chicago
humorist, made tour of the east last spring,
the first city that he visited was Washington
Stilson Hutchins and several prominent
residents Of the capital had arranged to give
Nat Goodwin O banquet ON the night of the
day that Mr.. Field reached Washington.
The humorist is very warm friend of MIR.
Goodwin, as well as Mr.. Hutchins, SO Of
course be was invited to be present at the
banquet as soon as his presence in the town
had become known, which was almost at the
last minute. Mr.. Field expressed much de-
light in accepting the invitation, and hurried
to his hotel with the intention of donning his
dress suit. After unpacking his trunk, he
discovered to his horror that his wife, in the
hurry of packing, had neglected to put in the
coat belonging to the suit As. .it was nearly
time for the banquet, Mr.. Field was at loss
to know what to do. He certainly could not
attend without dress coat, so he hunted up
Mr.. Goodwin and confdentia1ly informed
him of his dilemma.
"That's nothing" said Mr.. Goodwin, ayou
must borrow one."
The leader of our orchestra has a dress
coat, and he is a very obliging fellow.
Besides, be is great admirer of your
poetry"
They had no difficulty in securing the coat.
The owner Of it was o fat man, and Mr..
Field is a slim man, but Goodwin had no diff
ficulty in making Field believe it good fit
by gathering it in the back in the manner of
q Baxter street merchant Then Goodwin
and Field proceeded to the banquet board,
where they proceeded to enjoy themselves
hugely After the feast, Mr.. Field being
called upon, he arose to deliver an original
poem. Goodwin sat opposite to him, and as
soon as Field started 10 spout he held up his
arms In the posture Of violinist, and began
to WELD an imaginary bow. This took away
Mr.. Fields inspiration, and brought his mind
vividly back to the owner of the coat, The
result was great embarrassment, and Mr.
Field broke down like O blushing school girl
Fortunately for MIR. Goodwin, he has not
been in Chicago since this occurrence-New
York Star.