Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1886-03-04
WIT AND HUMOR.

Tommy, my son, what is longl-
tude?" "A clothes.line, papa"
prove it, my son." Because it
stretches from pole to pole"
A colored min ster holding forth
from the text. How old art thouP' said,
in his opening. Brethren, this am
quest on that must be answered in the
affirmative.
A correspondent writes to ask us
what holocaust is The principal
use of this word is 10 make an item
about the burning Of stable read
sorter heightened
A little girl. aged B, asked her father
for more candy but was told to wait
until tomorrow. Looking out of the
window for few moments. she sud-
denly called out: Pa. it looks like to-
morrow now.
Freddie. did you 90 to school to-
day?' ''Yes'm I'D d YOU learn
anything new?" "Yes' m" What
was it, my boy?' IL got on to sure
way of gettn' out for an hour by
snufling red ink up my nose"
The policemen of Goshen, n. T.,
have been furn shed with rawhide
whips to be carried during the day
time instead of locust clubs Owing
to the ease and ,afety with which they
can be welded it is said they inspire
more terror among evildoers than the
clubs.
There is flourishing school at Fleet
wood. Ga. The teacher is w. A. Rog-
ers, the tax collector. A remarkable
thing is that in school of seventyone
pupils each and every one is related to
the teacher and to each other. Only
one of the scholars is over ID years of
age.
Edward Ball. known IN the west as
the cowboy preacher. is Il young man
of intelligence, has n finely shaped
head. and is said so be very sincere in
h belief. He works for money. and
then spends every dollar in travelling
and preaching and for religious litera-
ture to give away. In his preaching
he is somewhat after the Sam Jones
order.
An unknown man was prostrated by
heat in the woods at Pittsford. n. Y.
When found he could only ind cato
that he had been W thout food or water
for two DAYS. The local reporter adds:
"A man, who shall for the present DO
nameless, refused to give the sufferer
a drink of water without fifty cents in
payment. The money was paid, and
the poor wretch got the water.
The first remains of man ever
found in floss condition were recent
" discovered near the CITY of Mexico
The SC ent SITS find ii impossible to
name the geological age of he remains
and il is not likely those who wish to
amplify the ant gu ty of the human
race W II be gra. fled. The cases of
the skull of Calaveras.aud the bones
found at Natchez forb Il anr post tive
assumption as to the recent discovery.
Girl will look at your hammocks.
please.
Dealer-Yes. III SIS Now. there 10
something n ce Not expensive, but
at the same t me p city AMI st ong.
Girl-lt doesn't look very strong.
Dealer W II guarantee it to sus-
tain weight of 800 pounds. miss.
Girl-Let me see; ~ and lij would
be Just 285-very well. | VII take
that one.
A little boy was told at Sunday
school that when he died he would
leave his BODY here. A ter he returned
home he was much troubled with re-
gard to it and questioned his parents.
H mother expla ned br saving: you
will take all the good with YOU, but
will leave all that is naughty here be-
low. He thought moment, and
looking up sad: We'll. | guess I'll
be awfully tn when get there"
A young man who believes in self
improvement having recently married.
suggested to his W fe that they should
argue me tuest ons frankly and fully
every morning. in order to learn more
of each other. The first quest on hap
pened TO be whether woman could
e expected to get along without
hat" and he took the affirmative, and
when he was last seen he had climbed
up into hay-loft and was pulling tho
ladder after him.
Woman's influence: "Do believe in
woman's intluence?" said a man on
Twenty-second street last Friday.
"Well. you see that Young fellow
rundling a baby carriage along the
street with look of angelic resigna-
ton on his face an inch and half
thickp / knew that fellow when he
would swell around town as big as
circus advance-agent and order beer
for the whole crowd. He don't do is
any more.
Agricultural labor in The southern
states has deprecated less in the last
twenty years than in any other part
of the country east of cRocky noun
tains. This IS e5u valcnt to saving that
he pur has ne power of southern labor
has increased more than that of other
sect ons, having declined relatively less
than pro ,ertv. The average rate of
pay per month IN 1866. without board
was SIC. and in 1881 Sl4.27, q differ
ence of Is PER cent In the eastern
states there was decline in that pc
rod of - per cent, in the middle
states about % per cent. and in the
western states "a per cent.
Nebraska State Journal: IAN or
ange grower in Florida writes TO o
FIR end in l. ncon TO como down TO see
h m tbs winter and bring along as
many friend as he can. 4 want, no
says. omebodv to cat up all my Or.
anges and garden stuil. Last season
J. shipped ghtv crates of oranges and
about carload of truck and melons.
My comm ssion merchant at the end
of the season sent me bill of SOB. a
To balance account. Now | am not