Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-12-28
MIR. AND Mrs. BOwSBR.
Mrs. Bowser Objects to Her Husbands
Playing Doctor.

Mrs. BOwser Objects to Her Husbands
Playing Doctor.
Detroit Free Press.
Another of Mr.. Bowser's hobbies is a fam
lily medicine chest. A few days after our
marriage he said to me:
Mis-. BOwser, half the deaths in this
world are the result of negligence and care
lessneSs. | shall have a family medicine
chest, and l shall write down some direc-
tiOns for you to follow in certain cases.
Mrs. Bowser, what would you do in case |
had a cOngeStive chlll!'
Send for a doctor, of course"
Just like a woman, and by the time
he got here you would be a dead widow.
| shall begin to- morrow to lay in a stock
of family medicines.
He brought up q package OF mustard, n
box OF Salye aud twelve different brands OF
pills, and every week since then he has
added something to the store. Before l
found him out | used to have headaches, n
sour stomach, sore throat and other all
ments, and was foolish enough to let him
know it.
"A headache, eh ," echoed Mr.. BOwser,
rs he softly rubbed his hands and regarded
me as "A dog does a choice bone. Very
well, Mrs. BowScr. While there are yari-
Gus causes for headache, the most frequent
cause is from u diSOrdered stomach"
This can't be-"
1T must he. | shall first give you a dose
ut ulphur 10 sweeTen your stomach, anu
will follow it up with a mustard plaster
between your shoulders"
''Why, my mother new
Your mother, Mrs. BOwser, could get
mp a rag carpet in elegant shape, but what
did she know about the ills of the human
body? If you are no better after trying
these remedies | shall recommend some
thingelse."
| refused to accept his remedies, and he
waived himselfOut of the room with:
VERY well, Mrs. Bowser; | wash my
hands of the whole affair. Ii your
muliShness leads to your death, don't blame
me-"
When we got to housekeeping and had
servants Dir. BOwser was i'll his glory. Tie
gave the servant girls to understand when
they engaged that medical attendance
would be tree, and it meant a great deal
more than they thought for. II one OF
them rs much as uttered q grOan she was
marked for 4 victim. He would recon-
mend quinine, mustard, ginger, porous
plasters, salts, cod liver oil and what not,
and the poor things had to get better or
uuit the house within a week. lie fright
ened some of them half to death By declar-
lug that they had consumption, II II
ems cried all night because he saw the hrst
symptoms of typhoid fever in the corner
OF their eyes. When l gently remon-
strated with him he turned upon me in a
ferOciouS manner and exclaimed
Mrs. Bowser, il | can save one of these
uoor girls from going to the hospital to die
a lingering death it is my duty to do so,
and YOUR interference simply shows what
a cold, cruel hearted creature you are"
We had a cook named Sarah, and Sarah
tell down stairs one morning. She WAS Mt
her work ut noon when Mr.. BOwser came
home, but he rushed into the kitchen and
talked to her about internal injuries until
she went into mysteries. Then he dOsed
her until she came TO, and when she hesl-
tatiugly admitted that she believed she
had a pain in her side he sent her TO bed
for three lays and ordered me to attend
To her and do the kitchen work IN addl-
ton.
All the recent troubles in our family
have arisen from Mr.. BOwser's fell deter
mination to doctor the baby, and from my
fell determination that he shouldn't. N
little dear was only two months old when
Eowser sat down by the crib one day, felt
of its pulse, raised its eyelids and said to
s.Nrs RowSpr are ynn planning tho
death of this child? If not, why didn't
Won notify me of its condition."
Condition, Does anything all baby,
'Humph! | should remark! 1t must
have some blood purifier at once. If 1t Is
too late no one but yourself isto blame!'
The doctor was here only two days ago,
andhe said baby was getting along spien-
didly."
'.Tbe doctor! Mrs. Bowser, haven't you
lived long enough in this world to know
that doctors can't be depended on. l
shall give Young Lauueelot some prickly
ash tea for his blood"
You shan't do it! The baby IL all
riGbt, and YOU shan't touch himl'
IL was awful the way he took on, and
he drank twoquarts Of the stuff himself to
spite me.
1t was only three days later that | ran
down town on an GRAND, leaving the baby
with Maggie. When ] got home Mr.: Bow,
ser was there. and he had Launcelot Land
out on the sewing table, II OF his legs
barred to the hip, and was experimenting
with some newly invented sphnts.
''You see," he explained to me, we
can't tell what day he u break his leg,
and / want to be posted on what to do n
how to do it,"
Maggie says l hit Mr.. Bowser a ruff on
the ear as | snatched baby of the table.
Perhaps l did. For some reason he hasn't
spoken TO me since. -