News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-07-29
AT THE RECEPTION.

Mamma-Did you enjoy the reception
last evening, my dear 2
Clara-Oh. ever so much! 1t was
simply deliciousl 1 met Mr.. Albion,
and his manner is just perfectly eXquis-
lte. We danced ever so many times.
''Mr. Albion Where is this charm
ing young gentleman from ~
'sI think he is from Chicago, but his
manner is so perfectly English that you
would think he had always lived in New
York. ."--Ii3-Bts.
AN ANSWER.
'Have you been in the water today,
my boy ?'' asked Johnny's mother kind
ly. as he came bounding into the room.
Mop" ne replied, blithely, pulling
his hat well down over a suspiciously
wet head.
'Nop Is that the right way to an
swer ?" she said, reprovingly. ''What
have said to you about answering me
when asked you a question 3'
''Yep, then" he growled, and ten
minutes later he was pounding his small
br6s,s r for telling.
HIS WATCH WAS REGULAR.
"Mistah Johnsing, t'ink you's suffer
in wild affexion OBJ de heart. Yo'
heart-beats is teri BILE irreglar."
''Dat's all right, doctah; but, sab,
yo' has yo' ear right gin my watch, an
it hain't varied a mint in de las free
months, sab. Wild all respec' to yo',
guess 1 go ter some older practitioner,
sab. ."-Harper's Bazar.
! NO LIGHTHOUSES.
A well known theatrical manager OF
this city recently made visit to Cape
May. He was asked to drive over to
Cape May Point to see the lighthouse
there, but declined the invitation on the
ground that che had seen enough light
houses during the past winter to satisfy
HIM for the rest of his life. ."-Ph,ladel-
phiG Bulletin.
HE READS THE PAPERS.
Affable stranger-Why, how do you
do, Major Setback How are all the
people in Collins Four Corners
Citizen of Pipeyille, N. J.-Wall,
when l left they wuz able to be abeout,
an they 'pinted me kummittee of one
tew come deown ter York N ketch a
Bunco steerer - Teras Sytings.
VERY LIBERAL TIMETABLE.
Traveller Mister, what time does
that 'commodation git in that's goin'
down ter Sinks Clearin' ~
Ticket Agent within)-"From half
pas one to bout three in the afternoon.
Traveler-'Is she ginerally on time p
Ticket Alphabetically"
DOTS AND DAsHEs.
IT is rain or shine with bootblack.
NOWADAYS, when the weather is un
decided what to do, 1t rains.
HE-They have dropped their anchor
She (on her first trip)-Serves then
right. 1t has been hanging over th'
side all day long.
THIS WORLD is full of disappoint
ments. Mamma" cried a 5-year-olC
girl, ''I started to make my doll bon
net and it's come out pair of pants.
AT the Japanese Village-Visitor---l
land dear in Japan Japanese-Nt
but the ground rents are awful. Nlsltc
What's the cause of that Japanes
Earthquakes.
IT is said a woman never quite TO
gets the man who has once asked hi
hand in marriage. Nor does a ma
ever quite forget the woman whose han
/ he has asked in marriage-unless 1t
gained.
THEATRICAL salaries are often repor
ed at preposterous figures, but that the
depend upon the success of the comps
ny is illustrated by the following cor
versation between two burnt cork al
fists in Chicago: "How much are ye
gettin' now, Gully ?" 1.-TWO hundred
week. How much are you gettin'
"Only $25." ooh, well, you get yours.
MANY years ago, when grocers in Lynn
were licensed to sell liquor, one of ther
was Dragging to a customer of his ski
in doing up packages. 81 can wrap
pound of sugar" he remarked, 'ln
smaller piece of paper than any othe
, man in town" II don't doubt it,
said the customer, land you can put
, pint of rum in smaller bottle than an
, one else, too"