The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-10-09
has lump on her back like ped

"She mas raised IOur cnll0ren. one
of them is at college. One is taking
music lessons in Boston. The other
two are teaching school. She is at
home alone, going around in a tread
mill life which will end in a rose
wood coffin and a first.class country
funeral"
"Stop that, Professor, will you ?"
"WhiIe you are handsome man,
with just enough gray in your whis-
kers to make you look interesting.
No donEt you haye been thinking OF
some nice young girl OF eighteen who
would jump at the chance to marry
your thirty cows and twenty acres of
hops"
"Professor,I won't stay here ifyou
don't let UP on that.o
8 And your wife does not look we'll
in that new Watertown wagon so you
take your hired man and neighbours
girls to meeting. Your wife never goes
anywhere, so you do not get her a
watch like your Own,nor silk dress.
nor pony that she could drive, nor
basket ph@lon that she could climb
in without Il ladder. She never says
anything, is always very quiet, so
you have not got her set of teeth
like your own gold and rubber, and
she has to gum it until her nose is
pushed up into her forehead, and her
face wrinkles like burned boot, She
never goes out, so she does not dye
her hair like you do yours, but it
looks like IA milk.weed pod gone to
seed. She has to work in the kitch-
en-, so she gets no nice toOtnpick
shoes like yours, but goes humping
around like a sheep in a dry goods
box"
"Darn my skin if / DON'T"
mo you won't; you will just let
her work right along, and tnen you
will marry some hIgh-fyer who will
pull every hair 0ut vi your head ,aL d
serve you right, too"
"PrOfessor, for mercy'S sake do
stop"
"When you know, and | know,
that if your wife had chance to rest
and had nice clothes like other wOA
men, she would be one of the hand
soonest women in the town."
Il SVEN, believe it,"
And Old as she is, if you were to
get out the carriage next Sunday, and
drive around with the colts, AMI tell
her you wanted her to go to meeting
with you, she would actually blush
with pleasure"
"Darned If | don't do it,"
"Then Monday, fyuu were to tell
her that you were going to hire girl
and that she must sit in the sitting
room by the new nickle-Dl coal
steve and WOlk on thai new silk you
ate going 10 Uuy ner-
professor, that's me-"
"And then hand her nlckle wal
let with steel clasps, and with five
nice twenty dollar notes in it, and
tell her to do her own trading after
this, because you haye got tired look.
ing after so much money"
II will, as sure as | i've"
"Aud then when the tears start IN
her eyes and the same Old blush
comes out that you thought Was ST
nice when you went on the teeler t.
Albany, ify0u would just KISS her.
ITS all right, professor"
"Then, my friend, | would begin
to think she had made something by
marrying "a rich man."
"You're right, old man."
"Then l think you would no lon.
ger have miserable wife. Then you
would no longer want TO rent or sell
the farm, but would be showing the
mother of your children how much
yor respected her for her life OF de-
votion. Then she would know thai
she was partner in that thirty thous
and dollars. Then, if you made youl
will all right, and she had good
rest, | think she would sometime bt
AN eligible widow"
"rhInk so, professor"
IL knew it. Woman is q plant that
wants sunshine. You haye beer
leaving your wife in the shade to,
much. She has lost her color. Sh,
has given up all hope of admiration
and love, and is only waiting to die
and gel out of the way. Suppose yol
were treated SOP"
"What, me? | am all right"
"Yes, | know. Women pity yOl
for you are tlrd to such Il sorrow
looking wife. Foolish old maids ant
silly girls whisper behind your tarl
what nice looking man you are
and what "A stick of Il wifi, you have
and you are Just soft enough to wea
tight boots, and oil what little hai
| wan have left ou hp tpn Ot Nulr hpaI