The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-04-06
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
ODDS AND ENDS GATHERED FOR
AN HOURS AMUSEMENT.
Dots and DushcH-A Sick StOry-IIe was
too i-PInntntion Philosophy,
ETC., Etc.
TIE FASHIONS.

NhAo. " lStSS lCiSCl "dS IcSul
clad in black velvet. The dress was Il
princess, with round court train. The
corsngc was square, and she wore a
necklace Of diamonds and turquoiscs,
with a large pendant solitaire. At
head and shoulders were punches
of ostrich feathers. silvcrcd, and clus-
ters of diamonds fastened the bows of
ribbon velvet on the shoulder. She
created much devastation among the
dSperges az bue'Te and pickles. having
previously hidden away under her cor
sage five potts 1ates Il In Pnrisienne. She
got stalled on her third plate of saucr-
kraut. Mrs. Yergcr didn't do Justice to
herself on this occasion. She was not
well. She suddenly rallied and toycd
with the Charlotte Russo, but it was
evident she had lost her grip.
HIGH PRICED
A gentleman on his way up town
stepped into a Broadway grocery and
asked the price of n box of strawberries
displayed in the window.
MY wife is SICK" he explained to a
friend who was with him, 'and n few
of those berries would do her good"
t'Fivc dollars" was the groccr's die.
tum.
give dollars!" he exclaimed, push
ing them away, sit would be wicked to
| pay that much for a few strawberries"
Sorry, sir" said the grocer, amy
thing else, sir 2"
"Whnt arc Rcina Victorias worth %
"Scvcntccn dollars, sir; shall | send
you n box T
eyes, you may as we'll"
TO LOSE.
"Well, there's a green one" said
Colonel ]. w. Bum, looking up from
his morning paper yesterday.
"Who 2 What 2" asked Major G.. w.
Day, his room mate.
"Why n New York man called
Johnny has been betting $40, 600
against a hat with some of the alder
men of that city that they would not
dare to vote for tho Broadway railway
franchise"
"Did he lose ~ asked the innocent
major.
"Of course he did. He might have
known he would. Serves him right,
too, for giving such odds. - Chicago
Nems.
4. SICK STORY.
"Tcll MI Il story" said the small bow.
jumping into his big sisters bed one of
the late cold mornings. "Oh, I can't,
I'm sick" she said. "Wcll, Iii tell YOU
one" he offered, gcnially. II don't
want to hear it" she answered slccpily;
''I'm sick | tell you" A smile of the
most engaging sort broke over the small
boys face. He bolstercd his cheek into
his hand and his elbow into his sisters
pillow and said: 'I'm awful sorry. I'l
tell you u sick story."-Bostom Record.
THE OUTLOOK VAS GOOD.
Miss Joy-Madam, Mr. Foster has
come to take me out for a drive; may l
, go, Madam?
Madam-You know, Miss Joy. the
rules of Vassar do not allow it unless
you are engaged. Are you engaged to
Mr.. Foster 2"
Miss 10. (doubtfully-N-No, but
If you let me go, I shall be by the
time We get back.--LJe.
CURIOUS PHENOMENON.
Old Mrs. Bcnnington-The paper says
that two whales, Il COW and II calf, was
seen tloatin' off Amagansctt shores last
week.
Old Mr.. Bcnnington-Wcll, that's all
right, amt it
Old Mrs. Bcnnington-It's all right
about the whales, of course, but I don't
see how the cow and calf got out there.
so LITTLE.
Miss A.-What, Carrie! going into
town again
Miss B.-Ycs; I bought a dress pat
tern last week, and when my dressmakcr
came to cut it up, she found had only
enough for the skirt. So l am going to
get an eighth of a yard for the waist.
Miss Scissorsnip says it will be more
than ample, but I'm bound to have
enough. I.hate to scrimp, you know.
boston Transcript.
FRIGuTFUL ORDEAL TO PASS.
Charlie (striding up and down)-It's
terrible-terrible. 1 W money and
can't pay it.
Jack-Why not let the other fellow
walk, Charlie
Charlic--Let the other fellow walk
I wish it was some other fellow, but it
amt. It's an Irish washerwoman, and
she'll be here in ten minutes.-N. y.
Times.
II wish 1 were yon STAR" ne SAID,
dreamily.
$50 do l." she returned promptly,
heroically swallowing q yawn.
"And why, dear one 2" he asked i'm
pulsively, "why do you wish l were yon
brilliant orb 2"
because" she replied in cold, mat
ter-of-fact Bostoncse tones, because
your brilliant orb is just II, EGO, 971
miles away" And he faded silently
ont lilo O n,;of hafor, a oummer,a oun