The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-09-09
Minneapolis Musings.

The country politician IL now ripe,
all fears of a crop failure having
been pleasantly disappointed he has
come to st. Paul to attend the State
central committee meeting and to
Minneapolis ito see the elephant
and take in the the exposition. He
generally wears linen buster that
has been starched and ironed into
a stiffness that gives his ungainly
figure even more grotesque appear
ance. He has Oh new boots that
squeak as he walks like the heavy
door of his COW barn at home. Veri-
~ his outfit is fearfully and won
derfully made. His collar don't fit
him, his necktie is askew and he has
a decollete vest cut bias, ready
made Prince albert coat and pair
OF unmentionables that have a ver-
teal crease running up and down
the legs, instantly betraying the fact
that they are shelters" to the casu-
al observer. His head Is crowned
with hat that has been out OF date
for some years. but which has
either been we'll taken care Of or
worn but seldom, for it is in a state
of remarkable preservation consid-
ering its age. He carries family
heir loom by the way OF a valise,
which he grips until the bell-boy
drags it away from him. He walks
up from the train registers his name
in regular Hancock style with a
flourish, and then carefully removes
his buster. 1t is clear to be seen
even to an unsophisticated eye that
he feel" mighty uncomfortable in his
.store clothes fidgets and twists
about as he uneusily PAGES around
the office looking as though he felt
that every eye in the room was
rivited with two inch copper rivets
upon him.
He doesn't remain SO long however,
for the candidate who has arrived
a day or two, sights him afar and
bnstles forward to meet him; they
shake hands as though they were
friends who had been through the
.scruel war" together and had not
seen each other for years. The
candidate obsequiously inquiries as to
the state OF the others health, the
condition of the crops, and then
sounds him to see how the feeling"
is in his own county. The politi-
clans face at this important jnnct-
ure presents the reflection OF graft
fed vanity and native shrewdness.
A seven inch smile which may mean
almost any thing, gradually spreads
itself over his countenance like the
concentric circle Oh the surface Of u
mud puddle that has been disturb
ed.
The candidate becomes earnest
then solicitous and finally wakes SO
eloquent that he leads his captive IL
q seat in the corner where he listens
with intense interest to what he has
to say, using his hand rs an eal
trumpet as If to catch every syllable
OF the precious words as they fall
from his lips by the mouthful or in
chunks.
Up our way says the politician
us he chews the stub end OF tufa
cigar Il find feelin agin YOU
When you were up In our deestric,
last fall, you made certain promise.
which certain parties claim yor
haven't fulfilled, still II you kin pn,
in little time and some money ani
kin git some OF the farmers to tall
fer you don't know but whgt you
kin get there all rite. It depends
you know who you've got to work
fer YOU.
Thus the talk goes on AMI yo,
only catch fragmentary bits OF thu
conversation. Fer instance Me
| Gill cant do nothin' don't amour
to shucks any how. Our peopl,
appear TO like you provided as
said you kin get the bridge fund ~
our way.
"Nc'son kin swing the Norwegian
etc., but Doc Ames he'll take tn
cake you bet"
At this jnncture the candidate
espies two newly arrived candidates
he greets them similarly introduce
them all around makes two or tire
jokes and chesnRts and finally in
yites them to liquor" The politi
clan from Awayback county is lone
| ly and uncomfortable no longer. H
is in his element now. He ha
some one to talk to and what Is bet
ter, somebody to listen to him. H
. walks around, the sweat takes th
stiffness out OF his collar, he gel
dust on his clothes and boots an
the dirt makes him feel at home.
He finally gets to the committe
, rooms where private consultation
is held. His opinion is coulted, hi
advice sought. He comes back t
the hotel at night tired out, eats
big supper and IL he hasn't visi.e,
the bar frequently enough to stimu
late him to state OF hilarity h,
retires early us he don't like to trav
on the cars at night and he wait
until morning before he goes. Thi
is his arst taste Of political grand