The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1886-10-02

four children, and she never had a hiret
girl over six months in that time"
"Splendid! And you have cleared
thirty thousand dollars in that time?"
Eyes, easy"
"Now how much has your wife
made?o"
"She, why, durn it, professor. she i:
my wife"
81 know it. But what has she made
You say she was poor when you mar.
ried her. Now, what has she made p
''Why by gum, you beat all. Why
she is my wife and we own it alto
gether."
ado you? Then she can draw on
your bank account. Then she has a
horse and carriage when she wants one
Then she has a servant maid when she
wants oneo Then she rides out for her
health, and has a watch and gold chain
as you do. Is that sop
Professor, you must be crazy.
Nobody's wife IS boss in that shape.
Who ever heard of such a thing?"
'Now, look here. You say she did
well in marrying rich, and l canrot see
1t. If she was getting two dollars and
fifty cents per week when you married
her, and had saved her wages she
would have had now three thousand six
hundred dollars. If she had invested
it she would have had five thousand
dollars. Now you tell me she is broken
down, used up and miserable, and looks
so bad she makes you sick, and she
has no money, no help, and will get
probably nothing but Scotch granite
tombstone when she dies"
Professor, if you was younger man
| would lick you quicker than a spring
lamb can jump thistle"
"Wnat for2 | am stating this case
fairly, am | not? Your wife is no lon
ger young. She is no longer handsome.
Her hands are as hard as local edi-
tors cheek, and she has stopped over
milk can until she has lump on her
back like peddler."
"Shut up, will you?"
"She has raised four children. One
of them is at college. One is taking
music lessons in Boston. The other
two are teaching school. She is at
| home alone, going around in a tread
mill life which will end IN a rosewood
coffin and first-class country funeral"
"Stop that, professor, will you?"
"While you are still handsome man,
with just enough gray in your whiskers
to make you look interesting. No
doubt you have been thinking of some
nice young girl of eighteen who would
jump at the chance to marry your
thirty COWS and twenty acres Of hop" -
professor, | won't stay here if you
don't let up on that"
"And your wife does not look well
IN that WATERFOWL wagon, so you take
your hired man and neighbours girls to
meeting. Your wife never goes any
where, SO you do not get her watch
like your own, nor silk dress, nor a
pony that she could drive, nor basket
phaton that she could climb into with
out a ladder. She never says anything,
is always very quiet, SO you have not
got her a set of teeth like your own gold
and rubber, and she has to gum it un-
til her nose is pushed up into her fore
head, and her face wrinkles like a
burned boot. She never goes out, SO
she does not dye her hair as you do
yours, but it looks like mill-weed pod
| gone to seed. She has to work in the
| kitchen, so she gets no nice toothpiCk
shoes like yours, but goes humping
around like a sheep in a dry goods
box"
"Darn my skin if | don't"
mo you won't ; you will just let her
work right along, and then you will
marry some hlgh-hyer who will pull
every hair out of your head, and serve
you right, too.'
professor, for mercys sake do stop
when YOU know, and know, that
if your wife had a chance to rest, and
had nice clothes like other women, she
would be one of the handsomest women
in the town."
Il swan | believe it."
and old as she is, if you were to
get out the carriage next Sunday, and
drive around with the colts, and tell her
you wanted her to go to meeting with
you, she would actually blush with
pleasure"
''Darned if don't do it,
Then Monday, if you were to tell
her that you were going to hire girl,
and that she must sit in the sitting-roorn
by the new nickle-plated coal stove and
work on that new silk you are going TO
buy her.
professor, that's me"
And then hand her nickle wallet
with steel clasps, and with five nice
twenty dollar notes in it, let her do her
own trading after this, because you have
got tired looking after SO much
money"
Il will, as sure as | live"
"And then when the tears start in
her eyes and the same old blush comes
out that you thought was SO nice when
you went on the teeter to Albany, if
you would Just kiss her
It's all right professor
"Then, my friend, l would begin to
think she had made something by mar