The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-06-18

name OF Succotash Valley.
A unanimous howl arises daily from
the papers at Cleveland for the estab
lishment OF free public baths.
According TO recent letter, the fall
of rain at Portland, Oregon, has been
increasing since October, 1885.
Parnell is young man in the iull
vigor of manhood. He can afford to
wait. Rome was not built in day.
An Urbana, Ill.,, woman was wife,
a mother, widow, a second wife, and
applied for divorce all in one year.
a woman at North Adams, Mass,
has dug cellar this Spring for large,
new house, and she quarried the stone
also.
jay Gould's income is said to be ten
cents every time the clock ticks. This
beats the best patronized dime mu-
seum.
Tullahoma, Tenn, has a newly-ar-
rived infant that is white, with the ex-
ception of its face and neck, which are
coal black.
Portland, Oregon, a city of 10000
inhabitants, now complains that every
branch of business in the town is be-
ing overdone.
John Henry, at a, eating green corn,
was bothered with the silk. IL wish"
said he, ''whoe,er made this corn had
pulled out the bastlng threads"
A young man has scrap book con-
tanning the marriage notices of all the
women that he has loved, and he sits
out in the moonlight and reads it and
cries.
A minister not long ago preached
from the text, "Be ye, therefore, stead
fast. But the printer made him ex-
pound from "Be We there for break
fast"
A philosopher asserts that the reason
why ladies teeth decay sooner than the
gentlemen's is because of the friction
of the tongue and the sweetness OF
their lips.
An old lady, reading biography of
Charles o Conor, the alleged father
of the New York Bar, exclaimed {:
"Poor man he had dreadful set of
children
'1f the decollete fashion does not
draw the lines somewhere" says
Brother Talmage, "the primitive fig
leaf will again be an indispensable
toilet article"
The Board of Education of Jackson,
Mich, is debating whether 4 school
teacher has right to send pupil
home or put him in quarantine for eat
ing raw onions.
When the snake was fooling around
the Garden of Eden looking tor Adam
and Eve he never would have found
Adam if Adam had only Eve-aided
his better half.
A citizen of Hawkinsville, Ga, re.
Gently shot ratllesnake in two few
inches from its head. A dog then ran
up to the snakes head, and was bitten
and killed by it.
''Yes, want a man, but the work
is heavy, and he must be healthy and
strong. | suppose you enjoy good
health, do you 2 You bet l does,
bose, when / has it,
"The air is full of expectant BRIDE.
grooms, says an exchange. In order
that this item may be intelligent to our
readers will explain that it is dated
from the cylclone district.
A grindstone, says an agricultural
contemporary, is one of the worst used
implements on the farm. And, by the
powers ! the other is the boy who has
to turn the blasted thing.
According to health journal, mar
BILE top tables are unhealthy-though
we never heard one complain of feel
ing unwell. They look Just as healthy
and strong as any other kind.
This is Il very healthy place, OBJ,
ser> >ed a boarding mistress "Yes-
for chickens" said the boarder. 81
have been here two years and haven't
seen dead one yet" She took the
hint.
Good, my lord, make me acquaint-
ed with your cause of grief" "Ah,
frankie, a heavy summons lies like
lead upon me. The dear folks don't
know how TO make pies. ~. y
JOurnal.
A Swedish chemist has discovered
that sea water contains alcohol. If
this report is credited property at the
seaside will go up in value. Wonder
II this has any connection with the ex-
preston, Half seas over"
"Grover, DEAR" observed the bride,
"wont you tell me what this Jeffer-
sonan simplicity is that there is so
much talk about 7" 'Certainly; it is
that is to say-well, it's a total absti.
nence OF sugar and water
The President and Dan Lamont will
both be happier men now that the for
mer is married, for Dan will never
again run the risk of jabbing needle
into his best thumb while helping Gro
yer to stitch gallus button on.
A GAINESVILLE, Ohio, citizen has a
cat which he says keeps his potato
vine free from bugs Every day puss
goes over the patch from hill to hill,
and when a bug is found she takes her
paw and knocks it to the ground, where
1t is speedily ground to death between
her sharp teeth.
There are scores OF persons who are
suffering from some form of blood dis
order or skin disease, such as Scrofula,
Bolls, etc, etc, After practical test,
d. III. Mercer asserts that Acker's Blood