Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1886-01-29

No Frenchman likes to dance the Ger
man, but he always expresses himself as
perfectly willing to make the German
dance.
At the beginning of the present century
it was considered fast" to have sofas in
the parlor Now young people are not
satisfied unless they can have an armchair
just wide enough for two.
The Indians Of New Mexico are very
thrifty and economical. When blood
hounds are sent in pursuit of them they
shoot the dogs and eat them.
a contributor writes 81 send you a
posthumous poem. If published, please
send me two copies" All right-address-
ed to which place
The New York Senate was in session -
minutes, one day this week. The people
are thinking of having the day marked
with red ink in the calendar, and observ
ing it as an annual holiday.
We read that the Poles are being en-
PEELED from Prussia This is in line with
what many of our progressive American
cities are doing. All wires ought to be
put under ground.
The Fijians have just been celebrating
the jubilee of the introduction OF Christ
ianity into the islands. Roast, fried and
fricasseed missionary We're the principal
dishes served.
a Nebraska farmer, says an exchange,
was so cruel as to compel his wife, in the
winter time, to milk cows with nothing
but slippers On. The COW should, at least
have been provided with wool boots.
The man who is always swindung can
not justly be charged with financial irreg-
ularites.-BoStoH Transcript
No thermometer should fail to register.
II it does not register ii cannot he allowed
To vote ON the cold Weather-NCW orleans
PicuyuHC.
We observe that Fifth street stationer
has lowered the price of photographic pens
to 81. This dispOses of the calumny that
the only thing that would not come down
about these pens was the ink.-PhUddej-
phiu CUU.
Out in Minneapolis, a man seen stagger-
ing along the street is never charged with
being the worse for liquor. He is chart
tably assumed to be "A stranger, unaccus-
toned to the eXhilarating atmosphere of
MinnesOta.-LOUdl citizen.
Good heavens, Washington, how does
your master live in such mosqutoey
mole as this ?" well, sar, the fact am,
at night Mars George am so intOXified he
don't give cuSs for the skeeters, and in
de morning de skeeters am so lntoXiied
they don't give cuss for Mars George.
Life,
Prize fighting Englishmen have discov
cred a man who they think can whip Sui
livan. If they are sure of it, as much as
this country detests the ring contests, it
will pay his expenses this way.-Ddilds
NCtCS.
He was very lazy, Mr.. Perkins, said
old Mrs Jones 81 must say my first hus-
band was Il very lazy man
How lazy was he p asked.
well, he was so lazy, Eli-Mr, Jones
was so lazy that he wouldn't shovel a path
to the front gate
"How did he get the path broken out -
he asked
80, he used to lay on the lounge and
pinch the baby's ear with the nippers until
the neighbOrs came rushing in to tread
down the snow. '-Et Perkins.
You can freeze up a gas main, but you
can't hurt the meter-Philddclphid Cdu'
The Goddess of Liberty can use one of
Evarts' sentences for corset-strlngs III an
y.-lldShiHgtOH Hdtchct'
a Boston barber says "a perfect temper
in a razor is a happy accident. HOW IKE
women razors must be.-LOWGI courier
An exchange asks: is cremation be-
coming popular :" 1t may be, but we
never heard of anyone trying it but once.
/ Marathon IHdCpCndCdt.
/ a fashion paper mentions ,walkinE
skirts" That must be the kind that
walked off our clothes the other night. 1t
/ took three pair of stockings and shirt or
/ TWO with D0HrUlc Breeze.
The chief end of man and woman just
now seems TO be novel writing. The man
or woman who hasn't n novel on the
stocks probably has some better business.
/ Novel writing is superseding the produc-
ton of operas rs Il popular recreation.
Boston Post.
II never bowed at glory's shrine, 10 wealth
/ | never bent the knee beauty has heard no
/ VOWS of mine, love thee, ease, and only thee. v
n stray twenty Ave cents in bottle of Sal