The Labor enquirer., 1886-07-31

stroying me. his children are educated
by pensions. War, then, is the only
hope for the working people, /, there
fore, demand reinstatement with both
white and black for my subjects"
He sat down and was greeted with
faint applause from Scab. =
Corporation opposed the demand, saw
ing that he could hire labor cheaper
than he could support it.
Eight Hour arose excitedIy:. at is
Long Hours that causes the trouble.
He stopped my work just as success was
near" "
Go to-" said Long Hours. "Llberty
indorses me. Eh, Lib ?"
The superb form of Liberty poised
gracefully over the witness box. Toying
with her jeweled sword she replied ::
"Yes-under certain conditions"
Eight Hours proceeded: "Why do
the servants of the people (sarcastically)
work but five hours in this verv room,
while their masters slave ten hours in
bad air ?"
Privilege arose and said: That's all
right. Never mind that now. Let US
hear from my friend, Old FogY."
"Old Fogy has the foor," said the
chair-Young-ladY.
The old man arose feeblY aud slowly
saying: 81 hope no rash measures will
be attempted by this body. The accused
are being fairly tried bv jury of their
peers"
Peers " shouted Equality. "Have
you seen the venireS of employers, cap
italists and monopolists? Do you know
that your friends are trying to abolish
trial by Jury, you old duffer? Peers in
deed Peers to me you're century
behind the times"
A shudder ran through the assembly.
mo more Interruptions please" said
the chair.
Old FogY proceeded: II believe Mr..
Wage Fund and Overproduction could
tell a good deal. if they chose. Boycott's
evidence might be useful also. Wage
Fund dimlnishes, and want of course
results. Am not right, Brother NAL
thus? ?"
The reverend gentlemen thus Impor.
tuned arose and said: The trouble no
doubt laws with Wage Fund. but he is
helpless in the matter. 1t is divine
arrangement To illustrate, suppose /
an laborer, | have eight children
and wife. The cost of subsistence for
each, we will call unit. My labor pro-
duces ten units, being just enough for
the support of US all. But Land Rent,
Usury and Profit retain six units leaving
me but four as the wage fund. There
fore, have too many children. But let
Wage Fund speak for himself. 1 AN
gradually losing ground in Social Science,
| must admit"
Wage Fund was too feeble to stand, so
his chair was carried to the front. 81
feel with Brother Nautilus that my bes st
days are gone. AS theory | never did
fit into any school of economics. Please
let me die in peace
He was carried away, unconscious.
Overproduction wished TO defend
himself: the fault lies with Overpop-
uation. He provides too many laborers
for Wage Fund to support, and not
enough Idlers to consume Rent aud In
terest Let him remedy this, else we
must destroy Rent and Interest"
what r' exclaimed Land Rent arls
Ing. "Destroy me2 think my true
function is not understood. 1t is who
equalize the reward to IA abor by handing
over to the landlord all the excess of
the product of good land over the pro-
duct of po r land. Shall We ignore
Equality ?"
ooh, you villain ~ cried Equality.
How dare you slanIer me? With your
bogus Equality you would have two
classes. In one, there is Equality as re-
CARDS starvation, and in the other, an
quail fight for the riches created by the
other class. Dawn with Land Rent
Many applauded, but Municipal Ordi,
nance shouted: II will allow no viO-
Ience! | demand assistance from Posse
Comitatus."
And | refuse" said that individual
sullenly. "You don't let me carry arms"
"How's this ?" broke in Constitution.
"Posse, is it possible that YOU are or
dered into danger, when you are not
allowed to carry arms, as | long ago
provided 7"
"We came here to investigate, not to
quarrel" said the chair. "SanctitV has
requested the floor and will now speak.
A very digni6ed and ponpous spirit
rose up and began: Il regret the attack
made upon nv friend, Land Rent. He
is the pillar of Property, and his favor
ties give me most of the support which
I enjoy from the people Atheism and
Auarchlsm are Sismese twins. The
worst man among the Anarchists has
read the works of Thomas Paine. Yet
he is perhaps no more dangerous than
the Mikado."
"As to wherefore ?" inquired that
monarch.
DID you not roam all over Chicago