davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Heather on BHcking BrOneho.
EaryD mud Ranch I

A Chinaman does not grab the bit of broncho
and yank il around till the noble beast can see
I3 new and peculiar kinds of fireworks, or kick
him in the stomach, or knock his ribs loose, or
swear at him until the armament gets loose and
begins TO roll together like scroll, but he gets
Oh the wrong side and slides into the saddle
and smiles and says something like what
guinea hen would say If she got excited and
tried TO repeat one of Bjoernstjerne BjOern-
sons poems backward in his native tongue. At
first the broncho seems temporarily ratified, but
by and by he shoots nthwart the sunny sky
like thing of life, and comes down with his
legs in cluster like a bunch of asparagus.
This will throw a Chinaman's liver into the
northwest corner Of his throat, aud his up
per left hand duodessmo into the middle of
next week, but he dosent complain. He opens
his mouth and breathes in all of the atmosphere
the rest of the universe can spare, and tickles
the broncho on the starboard quarter with his
cork sole. This mirth-provoking movement
throws the broncho into the widest Mysteries.
and for some minutes the spectator doesn't see
anything very distinctly The autumnal twi-
light seems fraught with blond broncho and
pale blue shirt tail and Chnaman moving in
an irregular orbit, and occasionally throwing
off meteoric articles of apparel and prehistoric
chunks Of ingenious profanity of the vintage
Of Confucius. When the sky clears up little
! the Chinaman's hair is down and in wild pro-
fusion about his olive features. His shirt far
is very much frayed. like an American flag that
has snapped in the breeze for 13 weeks
He finds that he has telescOped his spinal
column and damned two ribs through the right
superior duplex. has two or three vertebra
floating about through his system that he
doesn't know what 10 do with. In fact, the
Chinaman is a robust ruin, while the brOnchC
is still in good state of preservation. Now tn,
broncho humps his back up into the circumam
bient atmosphere, and when he once bisects tn,
earth's orbit and jabs his feet into the tremb
ling earth, a shapeless mass of brocaded silk anC
coarse black hair and taper nails and Celestial
shirt tails and oolong profanity aud disorgan
lied Chinese remains comes down apparently
from the New Jerusalem, and the coroner goe
out on the street 10 get six good men aud
chcmise and they analyze the collection. The,
report that the deceased has come TO his dealt
by reasons of conclusion. induced by a ride iron
the outer battlements Of the sweet by and by.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Mumeries.
ID..I-- n--.-...I 1

When the two Aztec mummies were first
brought to Horticultural Hall they lay for
about a week under the fruit tables OF the Mas
sachusetts Horticultural Society at its annual
exhibition, and even after the arrival of the
people of the Aztec village to their quarters in
that hall it was thought best to keep their prOx-
unity secret to those people and to the negro
employees at that place. The day before the
villages arrived one of the colOred men was sent
up stairs in the twilight by the superintendent
of the building to secure some shutters. The
mummies-which by the way are most repul-
sive, both bodies having the appearance of hav-
ing been strangled-were taken out of their
cases and laid in one of the hunks and our col
ored friend, whom we will call Sandy" for
short, happened TO get good view of them.
All he wanted, in fact, for with cry of ter
ror he started down the steep stairs, and miss
ing his footing fell down flight or two. There
is no convincing him that the mummies did
not push him down the stairs. and when sur
rounded by throng of sympathizing friends,
he was giving his superstitious opinion ON dead
folks in general and Aztec mummies in par
ticular.
"De place fur dead folks" he said, is under
dem heavy monuments pointing to the
Franklin obelisk in the graveyard opposite
"Dey've lived deIe life, what dey want come
mix up with decent Twin folks fur? i
wouldn't see none hurt by um, but l amt got
no use fur TO see 'em no more. Dey won't get
me to stay all night and watch boilers, not
while dem mumeries and injuns is around. DE
place fur dem Skinny dead folks is de oder side
OBJ dat dere fence" and then, soto voce
Devil fine demselfs buried ober dere one OF
desc days, Of dey dOan' look out fer derselfs."
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
|" The Faith OF a little Child"
TDiffel,,ty0 Past

At certain country church il was decided
by the members 10 assemble together at given
time TO pray for rain, which was badly needed
for the growing crops. At the appointed hour
the people began TO gather, and one little fellow
came trudging up with an umbrella almost as
big MS himself
What did you bring that for, youngsterY"
some one asked, with a smile
Sos ] wouldn't get wet going home" was
the confident reply.
Ii is safe 20 say that no one in the large gath
ering had come similarly provided, and that
not housewife of them all had set out her tubs
and pans 70 catch the rainwater as it would
pour from the roof in answer 10 the ascending
petition.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The slFirst PosItion.n


"Take the first position Of a soldier" was
the command Second Lieut. III. II. Hunter,
of the National Guard, gave Private Quigley
at the armory a few nights ago.
Whats the matter wild moy poshitionf"
asked Quigley.
lit is unsoldierly. Put the heel OF your
left heel in the hollow Of the right, toes
turning out at an angle. and let your hands
drop loosely by your side, palms out. with
the little finger touching the seam of your
trousers"
You musht tink Pm bloody omadhoun
TO be after doing onything Of the koind, y
responded the private. "To HI wild ye."
The brave Lieutenant realized that wars
alarms had already commenced and ordered
the too-rebeliOus private under arrest. A
Corporal's guard was detailed TO put him in
the guard-ho when Private Quigley threw
down his gun and said he was going home
He left the arnory with maledictions noun,
tains high heaped upon the head of Lieut.
Hunter The latter preferred chrrges against
Private Quigley, and he will be tried by court
martial next Tuesday evening
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
Gladly ON the List.

Successful practitioners of the art of curing
diseases feel natural pride in referring to the
remarkable results effected in some cases. Drs.
STARKEY & PALEN, 1929 Arch Street, Phila-
delphia, Pa, are constantly in receipt of unso-
lcited testimonials from their many patients
extollIng the wonderful merits of the Com
pound Oxygen Treatment for lung, throat, and
chronic diseases :" the blood or nervous system.
pamphlet containing many of these, sent
with perm 'ssion to publish. mailed free to any
body who will write fNr it. Names of national
reputation will be found on the list.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
A PARENTS BLUNDER.
Notifying Error OF the Clergyman With the New
Degree OF 81. T."
Ism Eror,cfrcn,ll


"OhI why should the spirit of mortal be
proud 2" Well, we don't know; but we do
know that it is when the mortal becomes the
father OF twins. Paternal pride, though it
does rest on a rather airy and shadowy foun-
datiOn, IS, no doubt, proper and creditable
sentiment, rs well as a very fortunate one for
the youngsters. Nothing but a sense of graft
fled personal vanity would enable q man to
bear up under the woes which Byron must
have had in mind when he wrote Of
Midnight hours that bring no more
Their wOnted hope of rest.
A well-known clergyman of the Episcopal
Church has .een recently invested with the
order of +. (which means Father of
Twins" and not, as may be rashly supposed,
Fooled Twice"-and is eOrrespondingly elated,
going about with an air of ostentatious humil-
ity, as one who has his just pride under proper
Christian discipline, and would not mortify
less fortunate brethren with any pharisaical
display of superiority. Admiring Pensioners
had issued in pamphlet form, on hOt-pressed
paper, his Easter sermon; the Bishops sancti-
flying approval had Endorsed one OF his pet
new readings" of the liturgy; yet no spark of
carnal vanity had infamed his breast. But
this last triumph made it almost impossible to
control all manifestation of justifable pride.
A lady parishiOner, calling at an hour when
the reverend parent was won't to be buried in
the scholastic shades of his study found him
in sunny sitting-r room, with one infant daugh-
ter in his arms.
Now do tell me which one this is" she ex-
claimed. 81 know their names, but I never
can tell which is Mary and which is Augusta"
mo, of course not" said the owner of the
infants, swelling with the pride of superior
and mysterious knowledge; mo one can dis
tinguish them-no one but their parents. OF
course ire never find the least difficulty about
IL Nit IoOl nf rot har
Incompatible with his boast, Augusta. Yes y
(reassured), Augusta. of course"
why, no, Mr.. A." came in feminine
voice from the adjoining nursery. " / have
Augusta here; it is Mary that you have"
The discounted parent" realized then that
even greatness has its drawbacks, and that "a
naughty spirit goeth before fall"
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
High Chair Philosophy.
IBG6UhoOd.l


When the 10th Reg't, U. S. Inf, was ordered
to New Mexico from the " Lake Region" the
little son of Captain did not approve of the
orders of the General of the Army, and, indeed,
seriously objected to the change. He had heard
much of the dreariness of the wild West and the
Sunday morning before the departure of his
fathers company said TO his parents: Come,
now. let us go to church and say good-by to
God"
His little sister of two is quite given to fall
ing out with the world at times. Once, when
she was especially cross her brother was pray
ing in her presence: PLEASE bless Margie."
She frowned severely and exclaimed: " Don't
talk about / !"
Little Fay, who had but recently made the
acquaintance of one of his grandfathers, re-
ferred to him in his prayer thus: God bless
grandpa and the other grandpa who smokes a
pipe"
Fred, three years old, and his baby sister
were to have q drink of water. Fred reached
| for the glass, saying: Et me have it firss; F"
but mamma said mo, little girls always first"
Sir Fred replied, No gentlemen tirss. They're
JUS as sirsty as girls"
little boy who was to pass the afternoon
with tho doctors little daughter was given two
pieces of candy. When he returned his mother
inquired if he gave the larger piece to the lit
| tie girl. mo, mother, didn't; you told me
| to give the biggest piece to the company, and
1 was the company over there"
Little Louisa, not three years old, was OBJ
served as she sat at the table to attempt to spit
with great energy into the corner of her bib
and when asked what she was doing, said:
trying to spit out my teeth as Aunt Mary Ann
| does" Poor Aunt Mary AIMS false teeth hurt
her, SO she slyly slipped them out into her nap
| kin when she sat down TO the table, fOndly
hoping she was unobserved, but the little one:
sharp eyes had seen her.
Seven-year Johnny is fond of long words
He heard his mother tellingof a man who swal
lowed his false teeth in his sleep. did he
have an epidemic?" he anxiOusly inquired
He asked his mother the other day if you could
tell Just what second person died. His mother
thought not. "Then why does it say in the
paper died on the ODD inst?'"
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The National Tribune Publishing Co.
INCREASE OFPENSIONS

Many pensioners throughout the country entitled
20 increase Of their pensions. Never i'm the history OF
the Pension Office have more satisfactory results in
claims for increase Of pensions been experienced than
under the present Administration, and this is due 10 the
liberal policy of the Pension Bureau which recognizes
the fact that disabilities progressive In their nature
Congress- too has from % time increased certain ratings,
and 10 is safe in the majority of where
pension has not been increased during the past year
more that the penSiOner is entitled to an increase OF his
pension.
advise every pensiOner who thinks he is rated too low
70 correspond with on the subject viii carefully
examine his and advise him 60 the probability OF
securing increase. make charge for advice, and
the Zee is not due unless and then 10 IS payable
by the Pension Agent cut of the t payment Of pension
after the increase granted The fee in increase claims
where disability is alleged Is SO over 20 years
active practice before the various Departments enables
to give the benefit of my experience to my cents
GEORGE f. LEMON, Attorney,
els Fifteenth ~. ". w.
WASHINGTON, ID. C.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
PA 7 T N 7 S!
CAN | OBTAIN A PATENT ?

You ascertain IL your Invention Is patentable by
sending 10 O. GORGE r. LEMON, OF 8ashiugton,
ID. e., description and rough sketch on you cam
model of your invention and upon receipt of the same
he will make examination amt inform to
whether in his opinion, your invention Is and pat
enable and If 10 is advisable proceed with the
For this information and examination c1rqs llpd
you desire aull report and copies previous patents
Off there any, which appear to be similar your in
veutiOn you should have made q Special ENamina-
tiOn. the charge for said examination being - An in
should always take advantage Of this special
animation before going % the expense Of having model
made and filing formal application papers in the U. j
Patent Office.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
tOmaLa World. /,

Omaha Man lin Chicagol-The police here
must be pretty busy. You look about tired
out.
Chicago Policeman-Yis sur; I've had hard
days worrick.
Anarchists loose agaln2"
No. sur; it was at the political convintion
We know"
81 did not hear of any rows"
No, ye didn't, thanks 10 me, for wrought
hard 10 kape the pace. We see my friend Mike
was a rHnnin' IL, an there was big lot o
delegates there fayorin' the ould jedge an
knew if them come together il nd make
trouble"
Yes"
"Mull, dubbed EN- out.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
GEN. &c. Rremoni,s nooL,

Quite a number of comrades have written to
us in regard TO obtaining Gen. John C. Ere.
monts book and TO procuring appointments as
agents for its sale. If they will address Col
w. +. Morse, 622 street, Washington. ID. c.
who Is the general agent for the work, he will
furnish them all the desired information.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
Literary People

are offered $500 cash, divided into five prizes,
for best series Of twenty-scven advertising no.
tees.
For particulars, address Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association, 663 Main ST., Buffalo, N. Y.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
USEFUL BOOKS
FOR
Farmers aQdBuSiQeSs Men,
Revised ;: Edition Of seribner'ss Lumber and

For the special benefit Of farmers and business men We
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Fishers Grain Tables. Revised and improved.
This book Contains 10 pages In small pocket form,
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cents additional The regular price is ~ cents each.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

The book is realistic story of real people, who bore
the heat and burden of the late ID IS carefully and
gracefully written and the characters become live
and women 10 the reader The book will become DODu-
lar with those fond of fiction which is true 70 lie-
Duly NeOS (Denverl.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
Wull, ] dubbed 'em out.

DO YOU suffer from boils, carbnncles2 If so,
your blood Is In very corrupt condition, which
can speedily be rcmedied by using Warmers
safe cure
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

WAREER's SAFE CURE is the best possible
Spring medicine that eau be taken IL is a spe-
cifc for liver troubles.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
WHAT WILL A PATENT COST .

IT, after special examination YOU are advised that
your invention is pateutabe send the estimated cost OF
The drawings and s5 70 pay the first Government fee
The application will then be prepared filed aud prose-
cutcd without further To the applicant until
Patent Office Examiner admits the patentabty of the
invention or the is officially allowed
After the application has been declared patent
able the attorneys fee Of due but before the patent
can issue second Government Fpe of 500 must he maid
making the total of patent i'm ordinary
exclusive OF drawingsl 800.
special examination and report viii cost e. which
applied part of attorneys fee should APP
pcaOn for patent be proceeded with within so days
from date of special report.
The attorneys is only contingent in where
special examination has first been made and avOra-
bic report rendered
secure patent or not and attorneys fee charged
unless a patent is obtained. An attorney whose fee de-
ponds his in obtaining patent will advise
YOU that invention Is patentabe unless 10 really is
so far as his be,t Judgment aid in determining the
Question hence YOU can rely the advice given after
special examination. Design Patents and the Regis
tratiOn of Labels, Trade-Marks and Reissues
secured CayeatS prepared and filed. Applications in
reviyOr of Rejected, Abandoned or Forfeited Gases
made Very often valuable Inventions are saved in these
classes of cases If you have undertaken 10 your
own patent and failed, skillful handling Of the case
NAV lead 10 success. send me written request adj
Commissioner Of Patents that he recognize
GEORGE 4. LEMON of Washington. ID. g. your ast0r-
new i'm the case giving the title of the invention and
about the date of filing your application. An examine
ton and report will cost nothing. Searches made
for title inventOnsin fact information relating
TO patents promptly furnished Copies of patents mailed
this Office in successful operation since 1885
Won therefore reap the benefits of experience; besides
be given 10 actual clients in almost every
County in the United states upon request
Opinions given regarding validity of patents; searches
made: Assignments and Agreements drawn, and all
uafpnt busiuess transacted.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

KEEP your liver and kidneys in health. and
you will avoid all disease. Warmers safe cure
will do this
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Red Acorn.
Tha Pad Acnrn.

"The characters love- laugh fight and endure in much
the same rOllicking devil-AyclTe style which makes
the sOdier-fe in Charles Olhllcy 80 snlivening -
american Bookseller New York;.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Red Acorn.

The way John McElroy in his new story, The Red
Acorn sets his people TO lOvemaking and talking about
it, is very refreshing II is story of the war 6rmful
OF realism and right smart talk. There is snap
In Rachel Bonds something winning about Aunt DebbY.
10 Is rot a dull boOk."-Tiass (Philadelphia)
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Red Acorn.

THE romantic element is the most prominent in the
tale the historic is in in such manner as ba
highly attractive enliyened By pungent dalogs and
amusing incidents and some really stirring descriD-
tiOns."-TiRes (Denverl
Mailed, postage paid, to any address, receipt OF
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Red Acorn.

"A" admirable cCel called by made glorious 40
the badge of the First Division of the Fourteenth Army
Corps, The Red Acorn > > Each is a strongly
marked and individual creation who contributes not =
little 70 the thrilling interest of the Tt0ums
(Chicag0).
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
A DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE
OFFICERS, ATTENTION!

The Act OF June 1854 granting pay to officers who
commissioned but not mustered and who falled
receive pay accordance with the rank their COM
mission entitled them expires BY Limitation June
10 important that all such claims should De ned
before the limitation, they will be forever barred
Officers Pensions that rated at lower grade
than that which they entitled can now be rated
according rank they bore by virtue of their
missions held az date OF contraction of disability.
Persons entitled should address
GEORGE r.. LEMON,
AttOrney-at-Law,
6I5 Fifteenth street, Washington, ID. G.
Refer TO the CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK. Washington.
D. 4.
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

II is wonderfully realistic story true 70 life I'm feg
descriptions and in the naturues OF its characters
to lead the reader 20 believe history and biOzr
ply and not IL the unusual realistic char-
acter of the book which gives prominence above books
Of its kind."-Later Ocean (ChicagO).
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
READ THE PRESS NOTICES.

THE Red Acorn" was received by the press OF ths
country with more attering comments than any other
book published that year. We select few lines Of some
of the notices in leading papers:
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

For the special benefit of rers and business men We
have made arrangements with the publishers 70 Offer
premiums, the following valuable BOOKS:
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

"The other letters were FROM William S. Du-
pee, Secretary Stanton's messenger. and David
Jones, the nurse who was with the Secretary
during his illness and at the time of his death,
both making affidavit in controversion of the
suicide theory.
"When the story of suicide was first put
FORTH" continued Major johnson, I" / asked
young Stanton why he did not deny it, and he
replied that its falsity was so we'll known that
il was not worth denying-that to deny it
would be to give it character. The exclusion of
the public from viewing the remains was owing
10 the desire of Mrs. Stanton, who would not
pander TO the curiosity of persons who were
circulating such scandalous reports about her
dead husband.
Mr.. stanton was very poor when he died,
continued the Major, after pause. while
Secretary of War he had nothing but his salary
TO live on, and after he left the War Department
he had only one case in law, and that he argued
before a Judge of the Supreme Court, who had
been deputized TO go 10 his house to hear the
| argument. He was then too i'll TO leave his room
and the court conferred this great distinction
upon him. During his illness he made an eff
| fort 10 borrow 500 from Washington bank.
ing house, but il refused to discount hi:
note. He finally got the money from DR.. Blake
l then President of the National metropolitan
The National tribune., 1886-10-21

1T is bright humorous and attractive story OF The
late wal" Chronicle Herald (Phiadelphia).
The National tribune., 1886-10-21
The Red Acorn.

the book is rich in incident and gives very aish~
ul picture of army life. '-Nati0aaI tribune Washington
d. CO.