National Republican., 1886-11-03
MARTYR OF POLICIES.
Experience of n Citizen who sought to
Insure His Life.

gentleman of this city lately decided that
lie must insure his life, and being unac.
quaintcd with the plans Of different CON.
DnniCs. determined to examine all OF the n
which had egents IN Washington. lie sought
the city directory to obtain list OF the COM
panics aud found they were just
thirty-Seven life insurance companies
which he would have to consult. Think.
ing he would be thorough, he addressed u
postal card 10 each Of them, asking that hs DO
furnished circulars showing the terms OF the
companies, US he wished Ot1ke out a policy.
he temporarily dismissed the matter from his
mind, determining that when his stock of In
formation arrived he would devote an oven-
ing to conQuering the mysteries life inslr.
ance. The next day, however, he received 4
caller who was on hand AZ his
ofiso when he reached Il. He
Insurance which the gentleman wished 10
place on his life. His company was the oldest,
strongest, best. II offered the low est terms
with the highest security. i combined all
with numberless improvements, and nobody
had ever been able to suggest an improvement.
The gentleman TO be insured grew dizzy at a
long recital, Of which the above Is but small
specimen. lie still retains confused memory
Of the events which followed, and last evening
kept small crowd interested with their recital
"Well," said he the thing started In the
morning but II didn't end there. IL kept up
all day. had no idea that the agents would
come TO see me, but out of those thirty seven
within the three days that followed my request
for circulars, had to give up all other bust
ness and only, attended TO them.
ana ny the regular V psursnce s'S plan, pd and
such n multitude Of other plans that don't
distinctly remember what they were. The
first day I thought II was right flinny and took
companies mixed and my head whlrled.
Agents, agents, nothing but AGENTS They
didn't forget either. when seemed lukewGrm
about insuring with them to dwell upon the
uncertainty of life; how they had known cases
just like mine of men whh neglected 70 Insure
for week or so were found dead Ia bed before
the time elapsed. When ! went home the
second evening had no appetite for dinner.
4 My dear, what alls you3 you look PALE
~ answered that had worked rather hard
during the day. went to bed early, and oh
what night passed Idreamt that an army
of life insurance agents had declared war on
| landed on the Atlantic coast, and were march,
| lug on TO Washington. l thought they were
putting to the sword every man, woman, and
| child who refused to take out policy. Then
| they had entered the city limits. and could
| hear them charging through the streets yelling
| out tho amounts of their assets and reserve
| funds. l could hear wild clatter as they
| reached my house, and began battering in my
| door They made short work of II too ] can
| tell you, and then 1t seemed as If about hum
dred OF them were on the stairs. They came
Il
'IDsnTe or dieV the leader blwled in my
| car, as he added the name of his company.
| He had his policy aud put q pen in my hand,
| and signed II. With the yell OF delighted
| demon be dashed away, and another took his
| place. j signed and signed until could no
| longer hold q pen, for no sooner did the crowd
pass by than their places were filled by others.
| At last, when had taken out million and a
| half dollars in policies, threw the pen down,
exhausted, and with all my strength ex-
| claimed:
"'Kiii me If you will, but will sign no
more
"No sooner had declared this resolution
than atall muscular agent OF the North Amer
| lean Double-Hinged Unlimited Reserved In
suTance Company seized his rifle by the barrel
| and lifled II To club me- The butt came down
| amid burst of hellsh laughter, and as II was
about 10 imbed itself in my brain | gave an
| uneaIthly yell for help.
gentle voice. as felt myself being shook, and
sitting up in bed with horrited look on her
face.
''WelI boys, you may laugh, but 1t got 10 be
o serious matter with me, AS said, during
those three days twenty.three agents called.
At the eud OF that time / decided to 20 to the
springs for nervous exhaustion and l Just got
back few days ago. / feel better, but know
that my good health depends on my total
abstinence from insurance, which have de-
termined to continue. No more policies until
] get strong Hgain, and then / will be more
cautious, ! will assure you"
His little audience gradually dispersed as tho
martyr of policies turned on his heel and
walked away,