Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1886-03-26

THE RAMBLER.
For the information Of those cot aware Of
fact, desire to state that Yesterday was NOT
so hot - the day before, and found cut the
cause All the switchmen in the yards Of
the weather bureau at Washington went OUT
the night before. I was apprised Of the
strike by flock Of wild geese that were get
ting out q train for the south when wa
going home. 60 Q good deal on the wild
goose theory. On the strength OF their
racket propbesied an open winter last fall
and am at it yet, with fine prospects Of
getting it wide open and in fine state Of
cultivation about the fourth of July. Peo-
pie rely more on me for strike news than
they do on the papers. They imagine
have large supply Of that material con-
cealed somewhere about my person all the
while.
Niederlander's force threatened to strike
Yesterday, but the thing was amicably
adjusted by Niederlander going OUT
himself, but be soon came back and
Now everything is running as smoothly Is q
foreign missionary society.
Notwithstanding the thing has been kept
very dark, am informed on the best au.
thority that there is to be city election this
spring before the flowers Of May begsn to
shoot their aromatic sweetness athwart the
plains. There may be considerable wire.
pulling, therefore invoke all those in favor
of eleeting me to ramble another year to
come forward Immediately II not sooner,
and register else they will be in . fair way
of parting with their sovereign right. A
friend of mine once neglected to register and
he died afterward. was not elected that
year and the consequence was that had 10
escort myself into the country and work on
farm. don't want that TO occur this
year. There is nothing that can think of
just now that long for less less tumultu-
ously than to edit q farm. The YER
dant blades may spring up in all
their freshness; the young pigs may sing
their clarion notes around their mama's
knee; the old SOW may mingle her freshness
with the sweet odor of the hog cholera; the
pensive steer may Craze in the next neigh
boris wheat, and the fresh mown lambs may
kick up their heels amid the towering corn,
but the farm hath few charms for me.
The only thing l can recall in the dim
outline of my farm life, that was particu-
larly mashed on, was the dinner bell, when
l edited farm in Arkansas. The charming
notes of the bell stuck upon the topof pole,
invariably had the effect of inducing me to
drop my hoe and strike at once fer the spot
where the organist stood pulling the rope,
while the tangled masses of her brindle hair
floated in the blizzard.
She was my wife, and as prided myself
greatly on her charms, 1 halt to give q
sketch of her makeup. Her eyes
were of beautiful wild gooseberry color; her
nose-well. it was neither Roman nor q
Grecian nose, but was gathered up in a
bunch in the middle of her classic face, Just
as if Dame Nature had, in frolicsomo
mood, tied it into double knot Her teeth
were well developed for chewing native
tobacco. She had split lip. which enabled
her to produce full and well developed
grin that threw timid people into Mysteries.
Her mouth was not so much of mouth as
huge cash scored at random across her
face, and she had two big blonde ears which
projected from each side of her head like
the lamps On a family carriage. This is a
picture OF my angelic better section when
she was feeling we'll. Besides my wife the
greatest curiosity in that part of Arkansaw
was a mule her father donated as a wedding
gift and which had supported himself by
browsing on pine knots until he be-
came SO i:nmaciated that he had
to lean against the barn to
to sing. 1 had III old pug myself saved
from the wreck of my fortune in southeast
Missouri, that used to blush terribly to be
seen in company with my wife's mule.
After running the farm two years | started
an agricultural paper at the county seat
which named the "Corn Stalk"
By wav of variety and for the delectation Of
a circle of my friends, all members of the
Postum club, of which organization l be-
came secretary, 1 introduced a funny
column in my paper and made grea: hit.
One day / detailed the particulars of q pu-
gilistic encounter between two men from the
pine hills in style Of the most rampant
vivacity, and my reputation was established.
Ny success in this limo was SO great that /
turned the 'Corn Stock into q humorous
paper and moved to Little Rock. I'm
lucky day. l got of some killing
things on the legislature there
that took Immensely but in an unlucky
moment wrote half column that reflect
ed somewhat on a state senator and the
daughter of another senator. True love
never runs smooth and the same remark ap-
plies with equal force to the course of fun
ny journalist.
One day when was seated in my sanc-
tum, Eliminating in my brain for something
fresh, tine devil came in to inform me that
two gentlemen were below who were desir-
Gus of seeing the editor on business Of i'm
portance, which admitted of no delay. Be-
fore had time to consider my answer they
walked right in, shut the door and one Of
them stood with his back against it while
the most powerful of the two walked
straight up to my desk and pulling q copy
of my paper from his pocket and pointing
with peculiar smile to . paragraph
asked if l was the author of that
squib. I at once acknowledged the
expressing at the same time my
qualification that it had afforded them
"Such amusement" said the
biggest of the two, .'thst my friend here and
myself have come in person to offer our &C
"Yes. SIR" said the man
with his back against the door, ''the para
graph in question cannot be too promptly
1t is base, unwarranted
cslumny on lady with whom We have the
honor 70 be acquainted" "Calumny." said
|, "believe me, gentlemen, you are wholly
IN error. The paragraph contains nothing
of the sort; it is q mere harmless squib,
penned in moment Of overpowering
"You presume to call this
said the big fellow, drawing q