Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-04-07
VERY CLOSE 4


v60I CUV0E SUAVE&
cuseoMers Tsiling stersss 10 which th'
Rasos Chief Listens with P.tsncs.
THAT was . pretty close shave, sale
. customer Of mine the other day, as h,
got up and looked in the glass and say
. red spot along his cheek where I hat
taken of the nape from q small section
Of his skin, but / have had closer shave,
than this
Expect 3d. says 1.
Yes, says he, I remember one il
particular. It was several wears ago
when l was a young man. There was /,
barber in our town who was mad at me
and he worked in the shop where
kept my cup, and he swore severa
times he'd cut an isthmus canal through
my peninsula, but after awhile we made
1t up, and nothing more WAS said. Sc
l went right along shaving there. but
never shaved with him until the day
I'm telling yon about. Then / got il
his chair and he tackled me, and ]
talked to him---there's nothing proud
about lie, ! always talk to q barber
and pretty soon L said something he
didn't like. and he jawed back, and !
said something more, and he said he'd
slash me into four pieces, and raised his
razor with an awful oath and a horrible
look on his face, and l shut my ewes
and began to pray, and thought my
time had come sure. But it hadn't.
He hurt me like blixen, and haggled
small pieces out Of my face, but he
didn't kill me-
What saved your SAYS /.
"'Oh, says the customer, that was a
close shave for me. He tried his best
to cut me up, but his razor was so all
fired dull he couldn't. Your razor re-
minds me Of it.
"Then that smarty laughed rs if he
had said something sharp, but ! pre-
tended not to notice him. l haven't
any time or dignity to waste upon such
fellows, and l never so much as looked
at him after that. But my next IS
toner was a gentleman. I saw that
right away, and, as l naturally like the
society of gentlemen, l talked freely
with him and told him my opinion of
fellows like t'other one who had Just
got out of the chair. / kept on talking
and talking and telling him things, and
| could see he was interested by the
4aiet n in which he bore himself.
He kept still and listened like a gentle
mamie did. But pretty soon he
braced up and SAYS, says he:
Talkin' about close shaScs. | had
one myself once. The circumstances
were a good deal like that other chaps.
1t was out West, and the country and
the people We're a little wild, and the
barber suddenly got mad at me and
swore he would cut me into lariat
and so on. He raised his razor
and l shut my eyes and tremhled, But
he never touched me-
"'And what saved your SAYS ].
Why says he, the barber stopped
tell me how he was going to cut me
up, and it took him SO long to do it and
he chinned so much that he talked HIM
self into q good humor, and forgot all
about his job. But it was a close shave
for me-
"The next man to get into my chair
had overheard t'other one talking, and.
Of course, he had to put in his blab.
all what a day it was for stories.
"'Talkin' about close shayes,' SAYS
le, just let me tell you of one ofmy little
experiences. 1 was out on the plains
Myself, and n day, after I had got
in a little one-horse shop, the
and l had a quarrel about the
He vas q rustling, cutthroat
'ort Of a chap. and / was unarmed.
Well, he made O lunge for me and [
lodged him. Then he uttered a fright
ul oath and followed me up, swearing
ned cut my heart ont and drink my
lies blood. But he didn't. Escaped.
saved my life with a word
"'And what did you sayY
Why, l said blood might be good
Thinking for some folks, but 1 preferred
and invited him out to take a
rink. He went along as meek az n
amb, but it was a close shave for me-
II thought that was enough of that
lind of stories for u day, and made
Up my mind I'd freeze out the next
hap. So whenever he spoke to me l
answered him back pretty sharp, and
he kept it up until l got him finished,
md then he got up and says:
You don't feel much like talking
30 your
No. says I, not as much as 1 did a
ew minutes ago. But what is it to
"'Oh, nothin',' says he, except that
was congratulating myself upon the
lose shave I'd had. Afore I came
lnuN bore n fr.aoJ rs ,o;,o a -
hat if you happened to feel like talking
,ou'd talk me into o stroke of paralysis.
IN glad / escaped. G~ood-day.'
81 thought I heard somebody talking
bout close shaves,' said my next Gus
omer, as he pumped himself down
nto the chair, but l don't believe they
NOW what a close shave is. Now, 1
lsed to be q railroader, and once l fell
n front of a train that was coming to- |
ward me at the rate Of fifty miles an
lour. / hadn't time to think before
he locomotive was on me, and you
to have heard the noise as it |
on. 1t seemed like sever billion
levils practicing on a brass band, but
'retty soon the noise stopped, and l
'pened my eyes and the train was gone.
was lying fiat on my back, and was
live. / wasn't hurt, either, except
hat me of the brake-rods had caught
ne under the los and yanked my
nustache and about four square inches
4 hide off. How was that for a close
"That was the last close shave story |
+ the day, for I closed up the shop and
vent home and got into bed before Z
/ was tired. And now the
lext !"-Chicago Neus.
The French. italian War of 1859.
This war was between Austria on the
ne side and France and Sardinia
ided to a certain extent by the other