Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-03-29

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rips out again pretty easily.
Every cloud has it's silver lining, and
silver dollar has it's twenty-cent cloud.
The crow is the most successful "corn
remover that has ever been experiment.
ed with.
The man who broke into a farmers
smoke house and stole two large hams
was indicted for big-hamy.
A blind man stole $1,000 from his en-
ployers. This proves the falseness of
the adage, ssOut of sight, out of mind.''
A Boston tea firm has made an assign
ment. They were so stepped in debt that
they could not settle on any grounds.
care dry goods high in Washington"
asks an exchange. Well, judging from
all accounts, they're frequently worn quite
low.
A Louisville preacher, who has no late
night work away from home, calls for a
tax of 500 on pistols. A better scheme
would be to raise the price of whiskey to
| 500 a drink.
An Ohio teacher can whip 35 boys in
| 35 minutes, and it is said that one minute
| is about as long an interview as any boy
wants with her. What a matron for an
orphans home.
Punch has a clever little sketch labeled
at is an i'll wind that blows nobody
| good" representing number of cats
contemplating muzzled dogs with uncon-
cealed manifestations of delight.
| Everybody is glad that Mr.. Edison is
married. They want him to invent
method whereby the baby's midnight
shrieks will be carried off on wire to
| frghten away the cats on the roof.
| Lady Churchill is said to be the only
lady of American birth who has ever been
decorated with foreign power. But then
most of the American ladies understand
pretty we'll how to decorate themselves.
Tipley went home the other day and
told the family he had just bought lot
This tickled them immensely till he ex
planned that it was a cemetery lot. 1t was
the last place they wanted to move to.
A citizen of Perry (Ga.) can break a
ten-penny nail with his teeth. You never
hear of his complaining about the fibrous
tenacity of boarding house beefsteak, or
the solidity of clearinghouse doughnuts.
sInnocuous esuetude"-President
Clevelands pet phrase-seems likely to
go down to posterity accompanied by a
broad grin. There are some words in
the Unabridged that it is dangerous to
fool with.
Small Brother-''Where did you get
that cake, Annie?" Small Sister-''Never
mind, she's going to put mustard pas-
ters on US when we go to bed to-
night, and I'll ask her to let you have the
biggest"
An exchange speaks of the "vitality Of
frogs" We know something about this.
We heard a singer twenty years ago. He
| udu u lTOS Ill Ills GuIOdG. we ucdIu
again last week. The frog was still alive.
Musicians say this is not unusual.
When the applicant for bank cashier
ship presented himself before the direct
ors they saw that he was not quite up
to medium height, and rejected him, be-
cause, as they said, they had had trouble
| anOuoh with short cashiers
The Importance of systematic giving
as part of worship was urged by DR..
Parkhurst recently. ga single dollar" :"
he said, s'may look large, but when
spread out over year it is too thin to
lie down upon and pray Thy kingdom
come"
The street car companies of New York
are willing to call IL hours days work
and give their men half an hour for din
ner. There's something Overwhelmingly
generous abouta company that will allow
a laboring man a whole half hour for din
ner.