The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-30
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
a LITTLE HUMOROUS READING ROE
THE LEISURE HOURS.
- Broken Vasc-A Courteous Conductor
h Boys BOots-IIe vas Very Poor
Not ~ foct-The Old Story, Etc, Etc.
THE OLD STORY.

We all know the story of the Turkish
Cadi who held that there wa always a
woman at the bottom of every trouble.
On one occasion there appeared before
u him one of his officers, who stated that
q certain man had fallen out of the
j window and killed himself.
"Wnere is the woman?' asked the
Cadi.
st was a man, your sublime high
ness" responded the officer.
t"Where is the womane" repeated the
Cadi.
"It was, a man. your ~ecetatic noble.
ness" humbly reiterated the officer.
"Where is the womanl" fcrcely de-
manded the Cadi.
II tell you it was a man who killed
himself. your eGulgent radiance"
roared the officer.
Then an explanation followed. when
1T turned out that the man was leaning
out of his window to look at a woman,
q few doors off, when he lost his balance
and fell to the ground.
!"Ah!' cried the Cadi, triumphantly,
81 knew there was II woman at the bot
ten of it; there always is"
WHAT BECAME OF THE BOOTS.
The other day DR.. Hurty's small boy
wanted a pair of rubber boots. The
doctor tried tc reason him out of it,
put the youngster persisted in his de-
nand. Finally, the doctor told him q
title story-one he had read in the
newspaper. The boy was all attention,
nd the story proceeded:
"a little boy in Pittsburg had been
iven a pair Of rubber boots by his
fther. He wadcd IN the water with
hem-water ran over the tops of the
oots-boy took cold-mother put his
get In hot water-grew worse-doctor
sme-little boy died-undertaker-
pncr3l."
ThS small boy listened attentivcly to
eeffd of the story, and the father was
n~gfatulating himself on the impress
N pc had made, when, with q long
Fa b, the youngster asked:
What did they do with the boots 81
n 'amap0lis Journal.
A POET.
tdge Dusenberry took tea at the
3, mansion. on Fifth avenue, one
last week. Conversing with
Sykes, Judge Dusenberry re-
ed:
lam delighted Miss Sykes, with
1'oSCAS VI Soul AllCuus phllIlI1lCT-
(but, of course, you yourself don't
Rpoetry."
low do you know I don't write
w" replied Miss Sykes, somewhat
Eh, for she has written a number of
for publication.
know you are not q poetcss be-
as a rule, all ladies who write
y are very homcly."
pu are quite right, Judge Duscn-
!" replied Miss Sykes, with great
[ty, ''the cares OF the household
udc me from cultivating the muses.,
l were ever so much disposed to
"-7erns SVtings.
CONDUCTORS ouRTEsY
can't let this girl travel over this
on that half-fare ticket" said the
conductor to the widow Flapjack.
Why note what is the matter with
Eftle girl2"
be is no child. She Is more than
grown"
Nell, if that don't beat everything
PHI give it up. Here poo little
he has been travelling over this road
child's ticket for the last ten years,
II pow oil at once you say she is no
D.; That's a new way to worry the
elInS pQOllc."
he paid full fare, and then the di-
live girl in the corner pulled her
|out, so to speak, like a marine tele-
A OVER.
ls-s.say, Brown, y-you are a NM
rled man; g-g-give NINE a l.l-little
advice, w-w-will you?"
tCertainly, old man. What can I do
Eou2'
I'm in l~-l-love, B-B-Brown, with the
Sweetest 4gSg-girl in th-the WV
ia, and I th-th-think she l-l-lovcs
l w-w-wantt TO a-ask her to nm
fy me, but Pm b-b-bashful, and
It .q-q-quite know how to go abb
You had better write her a letter.
ised Brown.
THE woRM TURNED.
father had been lecturing his young
eful upon the evils of STAYING out
mt night and getting up late in the
hing.
You never will amount to anything" "
Continued, "unlcss you turn over q
leaf. Remember that the early
catches the worm"
How about the worm, father" in
led the young man, wasn't he
Ter foolish to get up so early2"
sMy son." replied the old man, SOL
ply, ''that worm hadn't been to bed
All. He was on his way home"
IT WAS BROKEN.
WHO broke this vase?" asked Miss
ssinfeather's father, as he entered the
Tor n morning and found his daugh-
gathering up the pieces of a majol-
vase.