Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1886-07-08
Leading q Calf to Water.

man who sees chance to drive good
bargain, | responded by starting for
the calf shed, and began to unite the
animal Then, for the first time. be-
gan to have misgivings. Accustomed
to look for signs of cyclones among the
clouds, surveyed the calf with an eye
to discovering his bad points. He had
very mild eye. and seemed to be well
built, but there was an undefinable
twist in his tail that looked omnous.
There was party of young people
playing croquet in the yard, and | was
imbued with the feverish hope that the
calf would do nothing rash. / had
always borne an excellent reputation
for sobriety and decorum, and Intended
to impress the calf with the dignity
that beftted the occasion. Toying
with the knot in the rope awhile, to es-
tablish confidential relations. | united
the fastening and stepped quickly into
the open air. Stepping on the softest
spots of earth, to avoid attracting
| the attention of the croque
players, | endeavored to gain tk
shelter of the haystack unobserved
No such false delicacy disturbed tn
calf; one glance at the croquet groundf
gave him the key to the situation. He
knew his time had come for going out
on strike. The crook in his tail be.
came more marked, and a terrific bawl
escaped him. In vain tried to look at
ease and appear not to be responsible
| for the actions of that calf. ! founl
myself in the same position as the lab
Il
| peared on the scene-we were tied to.
| gether; | was for law and order. but
the calf waived the red flag, his joints
were no longer pliable, but with stf-
| fened legs he moved back and forth in
a sort of hobby-horse polka. and bel
! lowed his own accompaniment.
wasn't pleased, but l smiled kind of
seasick smile, and carelessly held the
| rope in one hand. | examined the sur
rounding landscape very intently, and
| paid no attention to the calf, which
thought was the proper thing to do, and
indicated that everything was progress
ing finely.
But the Jersey would not be ignored.
Hosting his tail like g flagstaff on the
stern of an ocean steamer, he bolted
| the convention. | merely said ME
too" and then followed in his wake.
! Foreseeing an approaching crisis, |
| had marked out the path | should
| choose if worst came to worst But
| found | was not in tow of that kind of
a steamer, neither was / the pilot on
| that excursion. and the calf seemed to
have shipped his rudder before we left
the harbor. Without looking, | be-
| hat 10,
| possessed attractions for the players;
the grand calf reverse waltz eclipsed all
other displays. l had lost my temper
and several buttons trying to keep at
the cad of the procession, when sudden.
ly the calf stopped short. | went on
the length of the rope, when | stopped
too, my neck cracking like a whIpcord.
The calf had evidently halted to stay.
so | began TO pull him along. pulled
great rolls of skin up around his ears,
while he bowed his spine like a cat in a
back fence duet; then he became faceti-
Gus and wagged his head from side to
side. and ran out his tongue at me. The
rope was cracking with the strain when
| he beloved for me 20 get out of the
way; | wasn't braced in the right direc-
/ ton. and when he started laid down on
| nv back to rest The calf, under the
| impression that / wasn't coming, jump
ed on TO me to wake me up, then start
cd for the croquet grounds. His i'm
pressions were not correct. The rope
was now firmly wrapped around my
wrist, and went along.
The calf didn't pay half as much at
tention to me as | did to him. He
scooped the first two arches at one
shot, while was pulling up the stake;
then l caromed hard against the "bas-
ket." and when he made the turning
stake scraped up the remaining wick
cts with my legs. This made us both
"rovers," and it became .'go as you
please" with the Jersey a ropes length
in the lead.
still tried to appear unconcerned,
and when plowed up a furrow with
my nose that would have done credit to
sixteen-inch breaking pillow. l actual
| ly tried to whistle strain of Home,
! Sweet Home" Incidents of lifetime
might pass through the mind of a
| drowning man, but | had no time
for such foolishness. Il couldn't form
more than half thought before I'd be
| jerked beyond it. / tied can to a
dogs tail once, and sympathetic feel
ing for the can fitted across my brain
as we sped along. The path we made
was no wider than that of an ordinary
| cyclone, and resembled the track of a
steam plow at a country fair.
We passed through field of buck
wheat and reduced the owners thresh-
ing bill half an acre, l at all times
maintaining respectful distance of a
ropes length in the rear of the calf.
never was proud, and knew my place
in this instance.
My journey was now almost ended.
/ had had stormy passage, and the
sight of haven cheered my soul. We
were fast approaching clothesline that
hung in graceful festoons from pole
to pole" adjusted at a proper distance
from the ground. The calf with sys-
tematic cussedness first dragged me
through half-dried slough, then made
straight for the line, which he cleared
at one bound, leaving me hanging b!
the chin. When l was fully dry, SOM
| friends came and carried me back home.
| At last accounts the calf was still going.
am now on my third bottle of arnica,
and pass my time on stretcher swung
| from the rafters, with my toes barely
touching the floor. l have lost all my
CT