St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-12

the poison of doubt into my cup of hope
Send Howard awayl Where. on what pre-
text9 Was | afraid to trust his love whel
he has so proved 1t?
Mine had been strange. dreary life, anC
well might my cousin Mabel call me pail
and faded. My parents were rigidly relig
ious. training me, their only child, to abho
all levity as sin. all cheerful pleasures al
temptations, and to view life as period O
harsh, stern training for eternity. From
mere babe my heart had rebelled agaiils
this creed. L loved light. flowers misc
and would sing, dance and laugh wheneve
the frown of rebuke was beyond reach
Yet. as l grew older. my desires were
cramped to the iron rule, and | scarcely
dared lift my eyes lest should see SOME
temptation to draw me from my narrow
path of duty. My mother died when | haG
just completed my 10Th year, and sorrow
broke my fathers heart and destroyed his
mind. In their stern, grave fashion. they
had loved too truly for him to endure the
separation. AT first he was only sad and
silent. but his business was neglected: he
grew more and more reserved, till a
melancholy madness reduced him to state
Of almost entire Idiocy.
So at II | found myself poor and with a
helpless father dependent upon me for sup
| port. | began a teachers life. having a
! large circle of friends, and drilled babies
| through their A B C's all day, TO sit beside
my poor father and try to win one smile in
| the long evenings. Then Howard camel
He was distant relative of my dead moth
er's and came to reside near us to study
medicine. 1t was opening a new life for
NE.
can never write what l owe Howard
His frank, sunny smile repaid me for my
exertion; his voice, ringing music far down
in my heart, encouraged me to every new
effort; and if my pen began, by degrees, to
win the bread L had gained so hardly be-
fore: if the music in my heart, bursting
into poetry. won for me name and gold, it
was Howard who found out the hidden
springs, Howard who walked the song to
life.
Two years passed in a dream of delight,
then Howard asked me to be his wife. He
was going to India. with a missionary friend,
to practice his profession and win fortune
for his BRIDE who was to wait his return.
l dared not bid him come. l dared not
promise to leave my father, nor to burden
him with such heavy care; so, with
breaking heart, l babe him go free And
now, after twelve long years. he had come
to see me again. My father lay in the
church-y yard, and Howard had come, rich
and cOurted. to seek out again his pale,
plain cousin, and tell her of his constant
love.
My cousin Mabel knew the story, and
when she wrote to me of Kate Harris0n's
visit she knew how cruelty she was wound
ing ME. This same Kate was niece of
fathers. born in England, educated by
turns, in every large city in
Europe, and now coming home
on a visit to her khsfolk Mabel
had met her in Paris, and she was with her
when Kate took it into her Maynard head
to go see the ''old maid cousin" in B,
and wrote me her seif-nvited proposal. l
could scarcely decline the visit and my
answer had drawn forth Mabel's letter.
1t was useless to ponder over it. so put
it aside and tried to forget it. y ct, when
in the evening L stood circled by Towards
arms by the mirror in my. wee parlor, felt
the words singing me- l was pale and
faded. Fourteen years of toll and care had
wasted my form, thinned my cheeks and
driven the Iustre from my eyes. While
Howard had grown handsomer, broader,
more manly and graceful; while the stamp
of intellect had made his clear dark eyes
more earnest and beautiful, had set its no.
Il
row and hOpeieSSneSS crush me. till, beside
his vigorous manhood, l was a faded,
worthless flower.
Kate came the next day and laughed at
my fears. had fancied her a tall brunette,
with dashing manners and marvellous
beauty: she was a fair, pretty girl, with
large. gray eyes, soft brown hair and quiet,
almost Shy manners. AS for flirting with
Howard. she scarcely noticed him. To me
she was caressing and loving. winning me
to admire her, to wonder at the power of
her large eyes, and listen eagerly to the
music Of her fresh. sweet voice.
With her shy, graceful manner, her gen.
tie touch, her soft. beseechng eyes. she
fairly magnetized me, and when she had
lulled every doubt. driven back each suspi-
ciOn. she began her game. | know now
now she lost her heart to Howard. She
fully appreciated his talents, beauty and
manliness. and. above all. his wealth.
Brought up to worship gold. she bowed
down. in spirit. before his bank account,
end determined to win him. Very con-
temptuously she regarded the pale. faded
old maid who stood in the way; but it was
better to blind her than openly to bid her
defiance.
| understood now, though did not then,
Tue sou. cOOlllg VOICE III which SD6 lnVdfl-
ably addressed Howard; the Difference to
his opinions; the gentle feminine ways she
affected for him. Every art of dress, too,
was brought into play, and the soft cash
mefes, the rich luStreless silks, the fine
laces. were each and all part Of the battery
besieging his heart. Then walks were
planned at hours when she knew was ell
gagged; she would watch for him and admit
him without calling me down. and at last
painfully and slowly, aweke to the truth.
| saw how her voice in song held Howard
enthralled; marked how deferental his
tone was TO her, and clasped my misery
closely to my heart. and drew aside from the
Unequal contest. What was l. to battle for
my love with her? No; better to let my
crushed heart die silently than to give him
pain by showing its bleeding agony. So
drew back, pleading thousand engage
ments to avoid being a third.
l remember we'll one evening, when with
no light but the rays the full moon poured
into the room, Kate sat down to the piano.
Softly. like far off echo of dreamland. tile
notes triCkled from the plant fingers;
dreamly. with the cadpnces melting into
one another, she played one Of Beethovens
symphonies, the heavy bass chords sOftened
aud mellowed. that no harsh note should
break the soothing spell.