The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-04-15
CHINESE ANECDOTES.
Stories Which are Curiously Similar to
European Tales.

European Tales.
Two persons standing over stove on
a cold day warming themselves were
overheard indulging in the following
dialogue: No l. apathetic, and given
to verbiage, addressed No. ?, reputedly
hot-tempered and decisive, whose clothes
he noticed smoldering, as follows: MY
dear friend, there is something | would
like to speak to you about; | have seen
it for some time and all along have
wanted to tell you, but, as people say
your temper is so fiery. | hesitated; on
the other hand, if l do not speak you
may be loser, so l have come to the
conclusion at last to ask your permis-
sion to do So" ''Out with it," said the
other. We'll, your clothes are burn
ing" mildly continued No. l. why
the deuce" cried No. 2 in passion, as
he observed considerable damage al
ready done, ''could you not speak at
onceP'' 'It is true, then, what people
say: What a temper he has got, mutter-
ed No. l, as he lazily walked off.
A wood-cutter was at work in concert
with his son, while his little grandchild
played near him. The old man acci-
dentally cut his sons finger, whereupon
the irate sufferer called his father a
blind old fool You son of dogr
cried the little boy, show dare you
abuse your fathern'
The following is told of an incorrigibly
idle offspring of literary father: A
youngster, having great disinclination
to study, was shut up in closet with
strict injunctions to apply himself.
Stealing near, the parent to his delight,
heard his boy droning over his book,
and was presently still more pleased by
hearing the supposed student exclaim:
Il understand itv' The excited father
rushed in, crying out: Il am proud. my
son, that you have at last mastered that
work" Yes" said the boy, Il always
thought books were written, but to-day
l have discovered that they are print
ed.''
Come here to dinner" cried a good
housewife to her husband, at work in a
field. "All right" he shouted, las soon
as | have hid my hoe" At dinner his
wife demonstrated with him for shouting
so loud about hiding his hoe. Il am
certain" said she, 1.-THE neighbors have
heard you, and some one has already
stolen it." Struck with the remark, the
man returned to the field, and, sure
enough, the hoe was gone. On return
ing to the house, and impressed with
the wisdom of her previous caution, he
whispered into his wife's ear: THE hoe
is stolen.n
The following impromptu, though
consequent on fall, can not be looked
hn IF ln4ioiant
derstanding. A man stumbled and fell.
Irving to rise, he again fell. Hang it, "
he cried, ''if | had known | was to fall
again | would not have tried to get
up"
a woman was tanning the corpse OF
her husband, and being asked by the
neighbors why she famed a dead man
in the middle of winter, she replied:
MY husbands last words were. Wife,
wait till l am cold before you marry
again"
The feminine propensity for conceal
ing age and resenting impertinent ques-
tions in regard to it is common to all
times and nationalities, but that does
not detract from our admiration of the
trick by which the truth was got at in
the following instance: A man, newly
married, thought when his wife unveil-
ed for the first time she looked rather
old and wrinkled. Telling her so. he
asked her real age, when she replied,
40 or 49, You wrote in the mar
riage contract 50 years." said he, ''but
YOU look even more than 45 or 49, At
last she admitted sd. The husband was
still doubtful; SO he bethought himself
of a stratagem for getting at the truth.
Jumping up, he said: Il must cover up
the salt before going to bed, or else the
rats VIII eat it all before morning."
We'll" said his wife, laughing, Il have
heard of and seen many strange things
in the siXty-eight years of my life, but
never saw or heard of rats eating salt
before.
A doctor opened a drug store, but for
long time had no customers. At las:
one customer came. When supplying
his wants the vendor observed that the
drug was full of weevils. What is
this?' said the buyer. '.Klang tsan
(medicinal larva)" replied the doctor.
But" said the man, "Klang tsan are
always dead" Yes" said the doctor,
'but you see, they cannot remain dead
after eating my medicine.
A doctor, as a punishment for causing
his patients death, had to pay ten bur-
dens of wheat While carrying the grain
he was met by a man who asked him to
come and treat sick member of his
family. "All right" said the doctor, Il
will be there shortly; but in the mean
time you may be getting your barn
cleaned out"
A barber shaving customers head
drew blood and put one of hi; fingers on
it. Again he made cut and put down
another finger, and so on till he had no
more fingers free. "Ah," said he, as he
paused in his work, "a barber's is a
difficult trade; we ought to have thou
sand fingers. "-Hsido Lin Kudng.