Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-24
BRIGHT BITS.

A coUNTRYMAN goes to the railroad depot
"Give M ticket"
For what piace?'
"lhaps none Of your business. - French
Paper.
CLARA-Were you at the concert last night,
and did you hear VI IS De Puyster sing? Oh,
| TIA NIX she's just grand
Be!le-Weli, 1 didn't hear much OF her
voice. The orchestra played 80 loud as to
almost entirely drown it,
Clara know 1t; wasn't 1t grand.-73d-
Bits.
CUSTOMER Ito bartenderl-That's mighty
poor WHISKY.
Bartender-You said yesterday it was
mighCy good whisky.
CuStomer-Ye terday was Sunday. and
had to work the back door racket to get it.
ANY whisky is Z 1od under such circum-
staDces.-Het0 York San.
EDIToR-I shou like YOU to write me a
book-one that would make sensation for
the summer.
Qlnltop-T think have just the plot.
Editor WI rs the author TO be?
Quil'op-l hiDk we'd better 60 hack to the
ola reliable May Agnes Fleming. Hugh Con-
ways been writing so much lately -Rao,5ier.
MEMORIES OF THE SOUTH -Haskins-A
Colonel. glad to see you. Just got back from
a trip through the South. Ell? Wei declare.
you look first-Ta'e. Tell me. Colonel, with
which city were you most impressed while
away?
Col. Roberts-welI. sir. tn tell you candidlv
they do sell a little the best liquor in New Or
leans.-Td- Bits.
BETWEEN the pillows of the baffling wind
The sUnbesms shoot their promises Of peace,
The frOs king doth his PRISON. IA Unbind
And grateful pr ises tell their glad release,
A vernal halo all the Wood Rnds frame,
Life thrObs ain beneath each floral bank
While Count Organize, OF Venetian fame.
Doth smear fresh hair-OIl on his rusted
crank. -IORberS Gazette.
$50 your sister will be down in a minute,
Miss Dolleg"
Eyes " fttl3
And Tsuppose she is making herself pref
tier han ever to see me. eh?'
''Oh no. she isn't. She told ma that she'd
have to take minutes rest 20 get her wind
and brace up before she'd have the nerve to
try shy at yOu.'
BlobsOn did not propose Toa0n Topics.
STRANGER TO fellow passenger)-Excuse
me, hut am not right in taking you for pro-
fessOnal man?
Fellow Passenger-Yes, sir.
Stranger-Thanks. It's MT often that /
make q mistake in judg ng nv fellow men.
Your work is head work altogether, of course?
Fellow Passenger-Oh, yes sir. entirely so,
StranRer-Er-Lawyer?
Fellow Passenger-NO, sir; barber.-Es-
change
ONE WOULD NOT SUFFICE: Have you and
Clara had a quarrel Mr.. FesthsrlyP" In
CURED Bobby, as that young mao stretched
h napkin.
"Cerlainiy not" replied Bobby's sister.
with aspcrty. 'don't be SO foolish"
swell Them" persisted Bobby, doggedly.
when he left you last night at the front door
what did you call him an insatiate monster
forY'-Ne1n York Times.
A HINT TO SHAKESPEARE: Shvlock-Dot was
fine hlay of "Richard Tnird," and dot PoOth
he vas a go d actor.
Gupdlehnger-Ya-as. dot vas so; but he vas
no peezness man.
ShylOck-Vy not?
last act. ID d You effer zee a man gif himself
away like dOt2 Wv. | half trent dot vould
hat sOlt him de best horse in New York for
den dollars and halluf, and drone de harness
in.-Puck.
THR foreign influence on art is still felt in
america. and even newspapers must bow be-
fore it. They were talking about the Bull Run
cyelorama a. a Ork of art:
ais It really ar isticP' asked a reporter.
''Most decidedly" replied the editor
the work?'
Merit" replied the editor Stamping his
hand down on the paste not. ''Mert? Wen, |
should SOY so. Why. some of them artis S
can't speak a word of English."- Rashiagton
Critic.
A CORRESPONDENT Of = religious weekly
asks. ami fails 10 receive an answer: .'Dtcl
David, son OF jesse. murder Uriah. the Hit
titeY We have forgotten the circumstances
OF that tragedy, and wouldn't give the snap
away II we had all the fact- in our pOsse ssion
II the murder occurred In New York CITY we
advise thoee who Witnessed 10 TO keep silent
on the subject, II they would escape being
J cked up several years IN the house OF deten =
ton rs Witnessed, while David Is admitted TO
hail in 81 500. aud continues TO eDios life. iD-
erty, and the pursuit Of more Victims
BRAKES AG0isine.