St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-11-28
THE BOYS AT A FEAST.

of Company |. together with Maj. c. Nee.
Reeve, Maj. Fitzgerald. Lieuts. G. S. Will
Jams, w. Z. Steele and 2. j. Kennedy. ILL
vited guests, participated in the second
annual banquet of the company at the West
hotel. After the menu had been thor
oughly discussed and the tables cleared and
replaced with THAT which cheers but does
intoXicate," the boys gave themselves up
to the full enjoyment of after dinner
speeches. some twenty Of which were
listened to, among the best of them being
the following humorous paper on 1.-The
Militia Model; Private in the Regular
Army" presented by w. G. Edgar, secre-
tary of the company.
Looking around us this evening we see
the members of this military organization
assembled together at their second annual
banquet, arrayed, the most of them, i'll
evening dress. l have noticed that all OF
them wear white shirts, and very many, L
am fain to admit, use forks in eating and
spoons in taking coffee. In all sOlemnty,
gentlemen of Company |, First regiment.
National guard. state of MinnesOta-ln all
solemnity, desire to call your attention to
the fact that such costumes and such acts
are all wrong. | seek to warn you kindly
and yet forcibly against the inevitable re-
suits of such conduct on your part. This,
and many other acts of yours, regret to
say, are in direct violation of military
uSageS.
You seem to have forgotten. gentlemen,
that the true model of the militiaman is the
regular soldier, You are enjOined to lml-
tate him closely as to dress. behavior, man.
ner of drilling, SteadineSS and general con
duct [. in common with all the men of
ho wifi ha 70 0f q
| in competitive drill between this company
and another we were badly beaten, and the
| Judges awarded the cake of soap, or the tin
medal, or the muslin banner, or whatever
the prize was to our competitors. Do you
know why this was? Some may blame the
officers and others the privateS, but will
give you the simple truth when l tell you
that your heroic devotion to that article OF
fashionable haberdaShery known as the
standing collar was the cause of your de-
feat. You went forth from this fair CITY to
compete for that prize, full of hope. Your
| cheerful. earnest faces, my brethren. were
clean and shiny; your shoes fitted
you; you wore glossy linen shirts, and
above all, you were marked by the
height and rigidity of your standing
collars. They cleaned in the thickest of
the drill like the white plume of Navarro.
| You were proud of your standing collars.
valiant members of Company L. and your
| pride was the cause of your downfall, for |
| tell you your white collars did you up. Your
competitors were arrayed in flannel shirts,
and their shoes confOrmed to the army
regulations: trey were brogans, and three
sizes too large. In order to follow out more
clsely the resemblance to regulars, l am in
formed that some of the privates of the
other company hired few fleaS with which
to adorn their persons. and thus resemble
more nearly the regulars. And when the
Judges noted all these fine points about
YOUR willy enemies. they nodded their
heads together, and said one TO the other:
Behold, this is the real thing; these men
are genuine soldiers" And so you were
| defeated.
There is no use mincing matters, gentle
men. although at first 1t may be tritie in
convenient, yet your devotion to this liberal
state of Minnesota, which permits you to
buv your own uniforms, build your own
armOry and pay all your own expenses in
her behalf. should be such that you wOul
| be willing to live up to the high mark Sc t
by the privates of the regular army. You
should consistently emulate their example,
i'll order to be successful model military men.
1 L
thing to see privateS sitting here to. night
with evening suits on. handling the fork
with agility and partaking with freedom of
this ample repaSt.
Duty is the soldiers watchwOrd over and
above all things.
If you did your duty, gentlemen of this
company, if you modelled your conduct after
the authorized and approved pattern, the
| private in the regular army, you would not
1 be here tonight. You would scOrn white
! shirt. You would partake exclusively of
the army bean. and your shoes would fit a
Cardiff giant in the dime museum. The
| knife and not the fork would be the imple-
ment most in use here.
Let us be consistent in this thing and
follow the military idea out to the letter
understand that many of the privateS here
to night receive over SIS per month. This
is not right; SIS per month is, | believe,
the wages paid to the private in the regular
army. If this is true. we privateS should.
in pursuit of the proper feeling, refuse to
receive more than that amount. Some of
us might object to digging trenches, clean
ing streets and driving contrary heeled
mules. Many of us. perhaps, repudiate
the wooden shirt. the foreshortened trousers
and the coarse socks of the regular army.
This is false pride, gentlemen, and unbe-
coming Obedient soldiers. We are earnestly
requested to emulate the regular army; we
should obey orders, and do it not only halt
way, but go the whole figure. If our es-
teemed colonel orders one of us to go over tC
st. Paul and shovel snow for him, it is til al
mans plain duty to go, and go he should
If the major wanted that superb mustang
liniment steed of his groomed, he should
order UP one of the privates to do it. anG
the private had better hustle HIM
self or he according to Sour guiding
star-the regular military practice) will
find himself endeavoring to take his uSua
walk down NicOllet avenue with ball and
chain attached to his leg. Perhaps ON
captain needs a cook. ! presume that such
being the case. the way the custom now is,
he would go to an intelligence Office and
hire one. If the military idea was carried
out as it should be he would send his or
derby down to the NicOllet National bank
and order Private Braden to come up anC
go to work.
l don't want to criticise the conduct o.
our officers. but must say that some Of
them are lax in conforming to military
usages as shown in the regular army. 1t i!
their business to play poker day and nigh
and all the time, and spend every cent o.
their pay long before it is due. Some o.
them have been known not to swear freely
This is a grave omission and would make
them marked characters in the regular
army. l have heard some of them speak
ing familiarly with privates in their com
mand. This is in direct violation of al
| military precedent. These things SHOULD
be remembered, and militia officers sheulC
all wear fierce mustaches and a heavy
L.