St. Landry democrat., 1886-07-24
UNk'L iSAM'S STORY.
How Good Brudder GabI Divorced an III
Matched Couple.

How Good Brudder GabI Divorced an ILL
Matched Couple.
"Hit wuz dish yer way" said Unk1
Isam, Il bring ter 'membunce, dar wuz
Tidy an Bob wiz dat luvin' an fool
tel nuthin' wad do but they mus git
may'd.
snow, ole Miss wuz nifty ticklar
bout her niggers; she lowed dey mus
be quality niggers, DIES lax she wuz
quality white foxes, an she couldn't
bide desc low-down ways Nv doin'. So
ole Miss built US a leetle frame church,
an had us a for-trew ginnywine preach
er. Yes, ole Brudder Gab'l wuz sar-
tinly a good ole Methydis' preacher.
When'st he tok a noshun ter hold a
'vival, he'd wake up dat whole planta-
shun Wuss'n de 'hoopjn'cotf. An sing?
He could sing yo' po' soul plum ober de
Ribber Jordan.
well. ole Miss sez, SEE she: .Ef
Tidy an Bob boun' ter get may'd, let
Gab'l may 'em by de book, an I'll glib
'em a supper
Oats de way ole Miss wud do, fer
she fought jis' as much n her niggers'
souls ez dey bodies. She sez ter me
of'n. seq she:
.,'Isam, you's proud 'cayse you cos
yo' master three thousand dollars, when
sum of de mans lax Peter fer instunz,
only cos two thousand dollars
Oats nachul, ole Miss; dat's mach
ul, seq L.
..''But you mus member dat Peters
soul is Wutf jes' ez much as yone, ter de
Lawd.'
"'Cose / couldn't argify wild ole Miss,
but l 'low'd ter myself dat 'twuz lucky
de Lawd know'd a boss niger when he
seed i'm, an ole Miss went on
"'Member, eff yo' bodies is wallyble
yo' souls is much mo- so-dey is white
she seq, ''ez white ez mine;' an she
had US as sassy an pompered up bout
our white souls ez a struttin' peafowl.
Oh, she wuz wun blessed oman.
Il amt got time to tell bout de we'd
din'-dat amt de pint. De pint am
dis" said Unk'l Isam, solemnly:
Dat ar say-a-mony wuz spoke by
book ober Tidy and Bob by Brudder
Gab'l, an day wuz Pronounced man an
wife.
eur awhiles Tidy an Bob live like
bars what dun foun' a honey tree wild
no bees in it an lots er comb.
..Arter whites dey gun ter growl an
spat ~:casionally, an after six mont dey
waz a scanned ter de whole plantashun,
all dey cabin wuz lax dish yer one mos
times you pass dat err way. Ram-a-ty-
~blang-Tildy screecbin', Bob cussin, de
wool a-fvin'-'twus awful in de sight
oh de Lawd.
'Ole miss talk ter um-Brudder Gabl
'spute wild um-hit nebber faze um.
lone Sat'day mite Brudder Gab'rs
pashunz wuz clean tuckered out, an
he tux holt on 'em in arrest.
"'Cum up yer, ye fool niggers,' seq
he, Ill stop dish yer yowlin'.'
"Iildy an Bob wuz skeered, an cum.
"'Stan' up yer!' and Tidy an Bob
stun up, and I'm blest ter erasmus eff
Brudder Gabl didn't whip out de book
an read dat ar say-a-mony back ards
ober dem fool nigga's an tun EN- plum
aloose ag'in, ter 20 shet NV wun a mud
der fer ebber an ebber, amen.
".Now,' sez Brudder Gab'l, YOU is no
longer man an wife, an amt got no
shown ter hack an lum away on wun
a nudder lax may'd foxes duz! Eff yer
cher goes anigh dat gal ag'n, Bob, may
de fry charyyit cum down an tax yer
ter de lake bun'in wild fire an brimstun.
Tidy, / specs yer'll let Bob erlone,
least wise tel dat wool grows out ag'in,
what he dun nachally grabble of'n 70
skull!'
$50, after dat, dere wuz peese on dat
plantashun, an eff de uther niggers feel
bleezed to claw wun a nudder some
times cayse dey wuz nuthin' but human
c~reeters after all, dey take keer not tef
'sturb de whole settlemint, ner let ola
MISS, ner Brudder Gab'l ketch onto hiti
Fer Brudder Gab'1 wuz dat rambunc-
tious an dan'gus ter fool long wild das
he mout er had de whole endurin' lot
ov EN- stannin' EN- two rows on each
side ov de %plantashun, lax de sheep an
de goats in de good book; an you
know, honey, dat would jis everlast-
in'ly er wo' 'em OUT
''Well," said the small darkey, sswhy
cayn't Uunk'l Ike an his old oman be
read back'ards, too, an turn't aloose.
TO dey inmates one a 'nuther?"
''Oh," said Uunk'l Isam, .'dese time
ez changed fer niggers now-deys
kin beat on dey wives same ez white
folks, and dere amt no ole mister put :.
in fer EN- now. '-Detroit Free Press.
The Bible commands that servants
shall be treated with love and kindness.
more than 700 times. The poor and