The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-04-03

ues ehoie ART VINO are quite intelligent
and even appear to be persons of cult.
ure, but who are utterly unable to
carry on any correspondence requiring
delicaey. We undertake to prepare
their letters for them, of whatever kind.
Some Of them have long business let
tiers, some ordinary communications
to friends, some epistles of a more
sentimental kind. Then there are
business people who want advertise
ments prepared or circulars got up,
and some who issue regular periodical
pamphlets. All of that kind of work
We undertaken
"And perform with neatness and
dispatch" supplemented the reporter.
Precisely" said the other, and his
face relaxed.
What does the poetic department
comprehend" the reporter inquired.
"Ah! that is becoming more patron
lied than you would imagine. There
are quite a number of people who want
verses for one thing or another. There
are patent medicine and perfume peo-
pie. There are milliners and tailors
and shoemakers and tradesmen of ev-
cry kind who advertise their wares in
verse. 1t is attractive, and if YOU get
up catchy lines they take. Then there
are many ladies and gentlemen in
society who pretend to a culture they
have not got. They sometimes COM
NIT themselves to writing a sentiment
or an acrostic or a piece for an album
or something of that kind. Wen, the
bulk of them could hardly rhyme
dove to love and iii, up the inter-
vening spaces with words that mean
any thing. So We come to the rescue
and provide them with verses adapted
for album, letter, recitation or any
emergency VIII n in social life might
arise
"Do not YOU find it d little difficult
to give some subjects a poetic hayor?'
Not at all. Why, we have a lot of
stock poems on hand that tit mostly
every thing. 1t is only now and then
we need to prepare the custom-mnde
article. You see, nearly every one who
wants a poem for social purposes has
some girl in his eye he wants it written
up to. 1t may be intended for album
or valentine or presentation. It's all
one. There's always a girl in the case,
and all that's needed is to make the
poem match her complexion. That is
necessary. L is a fatal error to liken a
strawberry blondes hair to a ravens
wing or talk of a black-hairei darling's
ringtets being molten gold. That will
not do. And a girl with an eve like a
sloe will object nine times out of a
possible ten if her optics are painted in
verse of q heavenly blue. 1t argues
carelessncss. Indifference and made
quatc attention on the part Of the writ
or, ii it does not suggest plagiarism and
a misrepresentation of lines addressed
to an entirely different girl. Our posi-
ton is obvious. We prepare lines
adapted to all kinds of hair, eyes and
cheeks, and all variations and cUmbina- /
tons thereof, Having these in stock
we are prepared to face the public de-
mand calmly and fcarlessly.'
But have YOU not to express differ
ent sentimentsen
"Only two fever heat love
sentiment and the discreetly friendly
idea. Formerly any M who had any
use for poetry wanted only the first
kind. But now, since breach Of prom
Use suits are waxing frequent and
epistoiary evidence is playing the mis-
chief in courts, the swain DOESN'T care
to commit himself in verse. SO he
draws it light"
"iou prepare speeches, too"
"LOts of them political, religious.
scientific or post-prandiaI. as the case
may be. We are prepared to furnish
them for all occasions. from a. Con-
grcSsional discussion of the tariff to a
commencement dav. There is
a choice collection already prepared
and on hand for public dinners. The
season for them is approaching. Un-
der the heads Of responses to The day
we celebrate Our sister societies and
The ladies' We have an assortment Of
all sizes fitted for any emergency.
But how can they be used on
occasionsP'
Nothing easier. We prepare the
framework - neat Introduction,
'prightly but general, a few anecdotes
If proper maturity, references to
friendly feelings in the past and hopes
their continuance. That is all that
$ required. That is all there is in most
If these speeches anyway. If there is
my local color or individual reference,
be made we throw them in when
ordered to leave the speaker to supply i
hem if he thinks he is able. It's all ,
'ery simple
"But you do not grapple with !
topics?" ,
"DOnt We? The heavier the better, I
We never shirk a scientific paper If we i
ia~e the data Any thing that the I
Of. circulating library can t
each we are prepared for. In fact,
nch work is comparatively easy. The
-ardeSt nuts to crack are cnmmencn- !