The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-02-13
A Marriage Case.

/ Old Bill Dit1nars was recentlr elected
a justice of the peace in a Dakota
town. He had formerly taught school
and run a small postoffice somewhere
in Pennsylvania, and had come west
like so many other men with the irten-
ton Of not accepting anything less than
the goyernorship, but when he got
there he found the ground pretty well
covered with men possessed of a SINH
lar idea. The woods also appeared to
be full, while fguratiyely speaking, the
houses were Overlooking and their feet
were sticking beautifully out Of the
windows; all Of them had gone out
with the expectation Of getting some
good Office and 'srunnin5 thingso So
when he found how matters stood he
just gave out around that he had once
been circuit judge in Pennsylvania, and
settled down to finding fault with
everything in the neighborhood.
| The next day after he was elected
justice q big, awkward young fellow
came into the office and said:
''Mr. Ditmars-
'Jedge, eft yon please, young man,
ledge Ditmars."
well, Jedge, then. You marries
folks, do you, Jedge?.'
II does7
Yes, so s'posed. want you to do
the job fir us, / and
'All right young man, I'll tend to
you. III put your case on the docket.
1 s'pose you can give security for the
costs2''
"Howis that?"
Il say III enter that case o. yourn on
the docket
But we want to be married now
| we're in hurry--Lou- csc is out'n the
wag'n now.'
Cam help it, young man, got o go
at these things right. Eff you want'o
go on with the case I'll issue summons
for the girl and make out a war'nt.
Who's goin' ter use this WARMTH"
1.-The considerable. of co'rs.o
NOW, Jedge, ca'kerlate you amt
goin' to do any SIGH thing. tell you
LOnwese is out'n the wag'n.
Don't make no dif'r'nce-you don't
know nothin' bout law. Amt got the
statutes right here in these book2
Don't you s'pose a justice knows w'ot
he's DON, still?p You cannot begin no
action in this court, 'thout it goes on
the docket and have all parties concern
ed TO appear and show CAUSE. user
cite-actians to all your folks, and you
come an the day W'ch is sot. You don't /
have TO HAYS a jury less you want, |
though alters recommend it. Then eff
either Of you want to back out you can
get writ OF maddamerus and that
fixes you. If are engaged to any other
gal she can yut 'tachrnent of herheas
corpus onto you and repleyer you out. |
Now do you want to begin this action !
on this prem es hsreintoforward mem
toned er don't gou?'
You tnun'drin old fool, don't be-
lieye you know how to MARI folkslo
tine you 80 for contempt OF court!
Don't know nothin', hey2 I'll show
you! Think COS I've jist been 'lscted
that you can run on mel Think tubs
is my frst case, d'you? III have you
understand it amt; swared a man to
an af'erdavit this morniR' fore sun up.
Mebby you think I'm jist some common
noterar public, but afore you git throu'
nth me you'll ind out amt no SIGH
thing. Now you Just pay that S. and
get out,or III imprinson you for startin'
a suit when you amt got no case, and
Of shet you up onct / won't low no
body to put no bail on you either!v
The young man concluded the best !
way to get out of If WAS to pay the
fine. Then he hunted up the minister
and soon he and sLouWesef we're one.