The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-06-11
THEY KNOW THE EDITOR.
BY BENJAMIN NORTHRoP.

be delighted. ! know the editor and
he will do anything l ask him to"
So, so. You are going to fix it, are
you, X, old boy? And it won't be
particle of trouble because you know
the editor? So you do, so you do; and,
friend X, what is a great deal more to
the point, he knows you. He knows
you like {, book. Let me see, where did
the editor meet you first? Oh! yes. I
have it now.
You were boys together in the same
country town. Perhaps his father was
a poor man and yours was a the county
judge. Perhaps you wore tailor-made
clothes at school and his were home
spun and patched. You didn't know
him in those days, Mr. X, for you were
rich and he was poor. After few years
your father died and you went into
dry goods store as clerk while the ed
itor went to the city and became
newspaper reporter. Not many years
afterward he was the editor of the paper,
for the editor had what you always lack
ed, friend X.,-brains. When he went
back to his native town, short time
ago, rich and prosperous man-of-the-
world, you knew him then, just as
easy. And you would have resented
with indignation any reference to the
old times when you didn't care to know
him. Don't deny it, for you know you
would.
Yes, you know the editor, X, there Is
no doubt about that, but when you visit
his office and try to fix it, for your
friend you will find, friend X, that he
knows you, too, and don't believe you
will find it as simple an operation as
you imagine. If you don't agree with
me, just try it and see.
You have tried fixing things with the
editor before. Yes, you have If YOU
have forgotten them, l will remind you
Some years ago you wanted him to give
you three or four columns of his news
paper to puff your friend Jones for the
Office of alderman of his ward. You
went by the name OF b. that time But
you were the same old \. you always
were. You knew the editor, the same
as you did this time. But you made his
acquaintance differently You met him
at a political convention You were in
troduced to him at the hotel, and YOU
insisted on his taking a drink with you
on the strength Of the introduction.
Then YOU gave him cigar, the flavor
Of which has never left the editor since
that day, and never will so long as his
memory of bad odors lasts. You spent
ten minutes with the editor telling him
what great man you We're, and all that
evening you told your friends that you
were solid with the press" because you
knew the editor You have boosted
of it ever since Don't ask me how l
know, because l shall not tell you. But
it is true, all the same
You remember the time you volun-
teered to visit his Office and give Jones
boom. Jones thanked YOU gratefully
for the favor and you posed for q time
as bcnefactor, for it was not the cdi-
tor who was going to render the obli-
CATION, but you, b., the editors friend.
All! B., old boy, that was sly dodge.
Come, confess, now, didn't it strike YOU
then that you were a pretty sharp old
fellow to pull the wool over the eyes of
Jones and the editor, too?
But it didn't work Somehow, when
you reached the editors office and
mentioned your plan, he seemed to OBJ.
ject to it. He didn't say much, but the
next day he printed an editorial riddlins
Jones. and your nice article was
emptied out of the waste basket into
the waste paper bag.
Do you want to know why you failed:
Well, if you won't mention it to liv.
ing soul, III tell you. The editor knew
you. That was the reason.
Then about q month ago you tried il
again. Let me see, what was youl
name on that memorable occasion:
Oh! yes; it was c. You might foo
other people who were not SO well &c
quainted with you as ], but you couldn',
deceive me. / knew you were ii,
same old \. the moment l saw YOU
You met the editor at the club One
night you gave him a light from YOU
cigar, and this led to few sapient OBJ
servations upon the prevailing weather
From that moment you knew the editor
So you said to your friends, and 0
course you wouldn't prevaricate abou
a matter of this sort.
One day shortly after this a friend o
yours got into some sort of financia
trouble and you asked "your friend,
the editor, to publish his side of th
case, which he very kindly did. If yo,
ever had any inward doubts about you
Acquaintance with the editor at first
I, .his dispelled them forever. Not onl,
did you know him, but in some sort o
~ay you had become chum of his
Not that you ever associated with hin
intimately, but he had done you q favo
once, and that gave you claim on hin
that no editor has been known to disre
gard He couldn't if he wanted to, yo1
reasoned; it wouldn't be professional
So when your friend, the city official
asked you to see your friend, the ed
tor, and make him desist from the cx
posures of the frauds in that Office yo
| gladly consented. You didn't care S
much to help him as to show your pow
ar over the man you had obtained cor
troll of. So you went on the erran
] with light heart and a sniirk of cor