Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-24
Marrying and Giving in Marriage.
BY CHRISTINE TERHUNE HERRICK.

! the open expression thereof are commend
ed in man. What else is the average
woman taught to hope tor, to confidently
expect, and in many cases to struggle Tor
as the chief end OF life? Open pursuit OF
man is by all means to be deplored, a $
Is an eager waiting that units woman
for everything besides. But the same
training that prepares her 20 be good
wife Will serve equally well should she
remain a spinster. Whether they are
sufficiently honest to acknowledge 1t or
not ninty-nine girls out OF every hundred
look forward to marriage as a matter OF
course. 1t would be better for them ana
for their future husbands were this taken
into account in the training OF girls, and
without teaching that single life must
be empty and unsatisfactory, yet instruct
them that as matrimOny will probably be
their destiny, they should fit themselves
Tor 1t not only by training in domestic
duties but by the study OF gentleness, for
Dearance and unselfshness.
A blessed provision OF nature, often
overlooked, is the change worked in
woman's disposition by love. 1.-THE senti-
ment be worthy of the name, the deep,
strong affection from which alone mar
rage should spring, and not mere pass
ing fancy, the tendencies will be to
awaken all that is bestand noblest in the
heart. "Old things are passed AVA, all
things are become new Looked at by
this fresh, true light, little depriVatiOns,
petty economies, small sacrihces-and
even large ones-bec0me burden TO be
embraced ana enjoyed for the sake of the
one with whom it is shared. Occasion
ally wife may be found who is sutti-
GENTLY devoid Of wOmanliness aud gen.
erosity as to sigh over the immunity from
care she knew before her marriage, and
TO reproach the husband Of ner choice
with his inability to provide her with the
luXurles she Graves. Such creature,
however, would not have been improved
by wealth. sometimes prosperity seems
to have sweetening and enrolling effect
upon natures which adversely has mar
rowed and hardened, but as rule
those who cannot stand poverty with
out becoming embittered are not tit for
riches.
The custom Of early marriage has, per-
haps wisely, fallen into disuse. The
title of sold maid'' is no longer conferred
upon a woman who remains single until
%. More girls marry within year or
two after that age than five years before
it. There ure both advantages and DIS
advantages in the former system. It's adj
VOcates urge that Two people accom-
modate themselves more readily to one
another, when they are married under 90
that their tastes aud dispositions are more
easily nodded, and that in consequence
there are apt to be fewer jars ard ruDs in
their lives than when they wait until
they are fully aatured. Phis may he so
to certain d zee, but 1t is equally true
that the sell control, the command Of
tongue and temper, gained Wild TWO or
three added years, generally fully counter
balance the advantages OF pliahlity. Be
sides, youth and softness are by no means
synony nous. Patience, long suffering,
regard for 1.-THE faults and feelings Of
others, are rather acquHfedt than
natural characteristics. Youthful judg-
mentis prone to be harsh and uAsparing,
and it may well be questioned whether
the larger proportion OF happy marriages
are not those formed after % rather than
earlier.
Another objection to boy and girl
matches is that they are likely to be the
result of accident instead Of choice. Tie
fancy is readily captivated when one has
seen little of the world, and many man
or woman in later life shrinks with repug-
nance from marriage which seemed al
together desirable when Deither was out
of the teens. Exceptions to this only
prove the rule. Its truth may be at
tested by the fact that there is not one
man or woman out OF fifty who will not
ackno wled 4eehaYing been thedYictim of
brings no pang, but only a sensation Of
amusement slightly tinctured with dis
gust Ii is natural for young creatures
TO feel that drawing towards one another
which has been stigmatized by serious,
uncomplimenary epthets, puppy love-"
''calf love, and the like. 1t is very real
toO--while it lasts-and causes such alter
nations of bliss and misery as TO fairly
persuade the Sufferers that it is tue right
ptf = a al fra
the affection OF ripper years as do the STUN
bling, totterlng steps OF a child from the
firm, assured tread of a man. Fortunate
is 1t that worldly circumstances and pru-
dent parents generally prevent these
early entanglements from resulting
in matrimOny. A safe rule is that or
proving the strength Of such devotion by
the test Of time. Severity of treatment
usually only succeeds in awakening OBJ
stiuacy and delightful consciousness of
martyrdOm in a noble cause that serve TO
confirm the evil to be aYerted. A period
OF probation cannot be resented by any
reasonable being, and with very young
people a year frequently works wonders
The rapidly developing mind and heart
outstrip what formerly suited them, and
the bonds that were once unnoticed be-
come as confning and ease-destroying
as are twelve months later the last sea-
h3i . " SiA-AtblhB EdA mChbo " INC AtOWluE
boy.
The early marriages of our grandpar-
ents are sometimes quoted in iustitica-
ton of the practice. but times have
changed since then. In spite OF the hustle
and hurry that make ten years OF the nine-
teentn century equal to forty Of the seven
teentb, the age at which young men and
women conclude their scholastic educa-
tion and launch themselves into the world
of business or pleasure Is steadily grow
ing later Boys aud girls colleges are
increasing the age at which pupils are adj
mitted. IL used 10 be thought nothing un-
usual for youth to begin bis collegiate
course at Il now it ia equally common for
him to post poue his matriculatiOn until he
is II or Is. Few girls are graduated from
finishing schools or semina9ies under 10
or 20. while those who take regular col
lege course continue their routine OF study
even later. The girl wants her swing in
society before she settles down to married
life, while the man mas his business or
profession to acquire and his position to
gain in the world before he can seriously
contemplate taking unto himself wife.
II special training he necessary in the
preparation of woman for marriage, it.
IS no less important tor a man. This Is a
fact that is generally overlooked A great
deal is said about the beauty OF gentle
ness and unsellisbness In "A woman. and Of
the need OF her possession ot these quali-
ties In making true home happiness. The
lack OF them IL sharply commented upon,