Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-09-13

A Crank Whose Sole business Is to Make
the Man of the Shears Weary OF Life.

NO one except those VINO nave worked
more or less about a newspaper office.
says the Cincinnati Enquirer. can fully
appreciate the exchange tiend.
He is to the exchange editor just
about what the spring poet is to the
managing editor or The man with a
denial is to the city editor-nothing
short of holy terror.
And you never know when he is COM
ing, nor what shape he will assume
when he does come. He is liable to APP
pear as a perfect gentleman, and the
editors in the room will All smile at
once and see which one can make the
most favorable impression, thinking he
might be theatrical manager with his
pockets full of passes. or press agent of
a circus, when to the utter disgust of
the poor devils present he will show
himself in his true colors by opening
his remarks with:
'Do you exchange with The Jint0a0n
CrOUer?"
The exchange editor tumbles to the
racket, and pitches into his work with
unusual vim, but the other fellows punch
him and call his attention to the request
of the stranger Then he looks up and
says:
''What can do for you?"
DO you exchange with The JimtooOn
CroWer?"
Yes. You will find it in that pile.
Help yourself"
Thank you. used to reside in Jim
town. Haven't heard from there since
left some three months ago"
Quiet has been restored. The politi-
cal editor has his mind once more set
on a big leader, and the dramatic critic
proceedS to ventilate his opinions on
paper, when the exchange fiend opens
fire.
''Why, here's The Albany Bladder
haven't seen it for years. Used to live
there, and was regular subscriber.
Wonder if Jim Scott is the editor yet?"
Don't know" snaps the e. G. Take
it along"
THANK you ever so much. Scott was
a red-hot writer. Got licked a number
of times for things he wrote He could
write better than most of them, but
wasn't worth hell-room in a fight. Well,
bless me, if here amt The Jackson
Bugle! Thought it had gone up the
flue long ago. It's ten years since /
saw copy of it. Bill Pullthrough
edited it then. Why, he's editor yet.
See here
'All right take it along
Don't you need it?''
mo; l don't want il"
Thank YOU. I'm ever so much OBJ
liged to YOU 1t does one so much good
to come across these old friends You
nevet met Bill Pullthrough?n
'.Not rs Iknow OF. )"
I'll -. .
is certainly Il character-a regular gen.
JUS Always hard up and borrowing
from everybody. Struck me for dol
lar once. Well, blame me, if here amt
The Rosewood Rooster. Do YOU ex-
change with it?''
Pm sorry to say we do"
ut used to be \ great paper when
Joe Skies edited it. But after he sold it
it kind of ran down. Skies was rs good
on the fight as he was ut writing. He
came near killing II man once who call
ed on him for u retraction. Once he
was going to kill me. Wonder how The
Rooster is making it now?n
Don't know. Take it along'
'Oh, thank you ever so much. But
you haven't read it yet, have youP"
Never mind. Take any YOU want:
they are no use 10 me. Glad to get rid
of them"
Thank you. will appreciate them
SO much, and SO will my wife. and my
daughter will just go wild over them.
She cuts out the poetry and pastes it in
\ scrap-book. She's got two filled al
ready, and the third pretty near She
can write poetry, too, and some of it is
real cute"
Then after selecting some twenty or
thirty of the leading exchanges, he bows
out with:
'.Well, good day. I'm ever so much
obliged TO you for these. If yoc don't
mind I'll come up again and get The
Bu9ter and The Rooster. You can
just lay them aside for me when you are
through with them, and I'll be ever so
much obliged to you. Maybe, If think
of it, I'll bring along some of my laugh-
ter's poetry and get your opinion Of it;
you may want to print some of it. Good
day."
Good day.
Then the political editor drops back
into his char and says: "H-llm The
dramatic man sticks the point of his
pen IN his leg to sec if he is still alive,
while the exchange editor clips out
two-column article on "a Sure Cure for
Cranks" and rehead-lines it Society
Scandals, so as to be sure that every
body will read it.
John Euskin has recently written his
opinion concerning the Darwinian
Al.