davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
EVEN lF WE MIGHT.

III We might trace
Inc backward path and. calmly face TO face
WITH our lost youth, dear heart TODAY
could stand
And walk life over brayely. hand in hand
II all the wrong things we could make lust
right
All, If we might.
II We might see
All that the future keeps from you and ma
OIr iondest hopes, dear heart could see
fulfilled sec
And know that life should be as we have
willed.
# we could have the future full in sight
All, il we might
If it were so
oh! could we bear that cross we used to
know ~
And live it over, now. dear heart again,
ana bear u second time the bitter pain
sud taste the old time ignorant delight,
Even il ne might?
Ii il were so
max AL the mystic future we could know,
Snr Ieel in prospect all a life-time's bliss.
would 1t, dear heart, be half as sweet as
And could we lear the troubles we should
IT it might he.
All, no. All, no,
The fueuw ieys or gr5e . would no, know;
woWtu rot walk the with OF life again
Even without the sorrow AMI the pa n
us better rs u is. dear heart to night,
And II IS gat.
julia III. -Nuy in Chicago -4drance.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20

coat and hat, wondering what the
gentleman could want at The little old
church.
When he entered the church he found
the old sexton talking with a gentle.
man and lady.
1--WE want you to perform the mar.
riage ceremony" said the gentleman
to the astonished preacher; and he
handed hil,i card with the names of
John Wallace and Annie Harvey
written on it.
The old preacher laid aside his hat,
and. brushing down his white locks,
walked to the desk. followed by the
others. The school-children. seeing
strangers in the church with the minis
te-.and sexton, gathered round the door
and whispered to each other their Curl
os;ty at the unusual sight.
In few solemn words the old minis
ister pronounced john Wallace and
h:iiiie Harvey man and wife, then gave
them his blessings, and kissed the bride.
John Wallace kissed .-er, also. and as
he did so, was told, in whisper: - :
THAT cancels the mortgage. ".s~'
The old sexton, forgetting that Re
had rung his midday peal. set the bells
again i'll motion, and the wives of Hull
looked out in wonder.
This time they are wedding-bells
indeedr said John Wallace, rs he
helped his wife into the carriage.
"Yes-our wedding-bells,n was the
happy answer. Magazine
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
4 FINE CHICKEN.
How 1t was Attached by an Honest Old
African.

How 1t was Attached by an Honest Old
African.
'What are YOU doing thereaa ex-
claimed grocer. angrily turning upon
an old negro who had just slipped a
dressed chicken under his coat.
''Jes' butt up my coat. sah. Feels
er slight change in de weder. Hump
he said when he found that he could
not button his coat, Use gittin' 50 fat
dat Use outgrowin' all my cloz. Wall.
| mus be goin'.'
"Say, before you 60, take that chicken
out from under your coat and perhaps
you can button TT
"Whut chicken?"
"The one you've got under. your
coat
II declar'. boss, yer's de mos 'spic-
ious pusson l eber seed in my life.
Puts me in mine O. er gentleman I
knowd onct-''
Never mind about gentlemen you
have known. Take that chicken from
under your coat or I'll call a police
man."
.Whut. jes fur er little bit NV er
chickin like dis?n he asked, removing
the chicken and throwing it into tub
IVY, boss, I'd hate nightly ter be ez
close as yerse'f is. Dat chickin ain
much bigger'n er snow-bird. nohow.
''Now. get out of here"
..Whut fur?'
Because you are thief
Eyer ought ter be er shamed O. yer-
se'f ter talk dater way ter ez ole er pus-
son ez is. Iwouldn' 'cuze er pusson
o stealin' tell had dun prubed it on
i'm. Boss, ez yer ain willin' ter trus'
me, please, sab, step back dar by de
stove an git my hat fur me-
When the grocer had turned his back.
the old rascal took up large chicken
and hid it under his coat. ..Thankee.
sah." he said when the grocer had
given him his hat. Mighty sorry
dat yer 'spicioned me. Say, boss. de
truf is. Use one o desc heah klipter-
maniacs."
"Yes. you are one of these klipter
thieves"
"Wall, l won't argy wild yer. Good
night. tell yer whut it is." he said
to himself when he had passed out. ser
pusson got ter pay fur callin' me names.
I put er fine on 'em right dar. Huh.
whut er monstroas fine chicken dis is. "
ARKANSAS T'rGreiPr
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
A GOOD DOG.

He Knows Where His Blind Master
Wishes to Go and Leads Him There.
Yesterday slender man, stone blind
and evidently a stranger in the city,
was seen on Mitchell Street being led
about by beautiful cookie spaniel,
that appeared to be Il wonderfully in
telligent dog. He was of rich liver
color and his bright. curly hair looked
like it had been combed and dressed
for a walk on some fashionable avenue
lis there a tobacco store about here?n
asked the blind man.
Next door below" was the response
The dog resumed his walk, and in 3
moment the blind man said:
..In here. Cute"
The dog led him into the place, and
the blind man called out to the clerk:
Say, young fellow. have them clay
pipes you've got over there get any
stems to emp"
The astonished clerk replied:
..Yesr'
The blind man bought a pipe. filed
it with tobacco. and touched it off.
''Fine dog you We got there"
"Yes," was the reply. Hes taking
me down o.the express Office. He can
lead me anywhere I want to 60"
What else does he doo"
..Helps me dress"
..Eh? Your valet de chambrep"
Well. don't know what that means
but every morning he gets me my hat
and clothes, and finds Il chair for me-"
What does he eata'
Raw beef all the time
want to sell himP"
Money couldnt buy him.
The man gave his name as j. Keller
of Little Rock, Ark.-dtiaata C0nstitg-
lion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
GLASS EYES.
Something About Those Made IN Eufsfe
and the United States.

9O"GtHInS ABOUT InOSf NAAue IN Europe
and the United States.
''How are artificial eyes made?" the
reporter inquired of local optician.
"They are first blown into the shape
Of bottle. They lock like a miniature
khisky flask. Then the operative sep
arates the structure, and, after blowing
in the center colors, the veins, and
adding the shade to the ball. the edges
of the inside are finished of, and the
eye, which is nearly always of an orig
iiisl shape, is packed away, perhaps
never to be worn. 1t may lie around
in store for hundred years before a
customer is found whom it will fit or
suit in every respect. Very few are
made of the same pattern, because
there is no rule of size, style, color,
taste or finish to follow. Most of the
eyes are made in Germany and France.
The best are made there, but good
eye il now being made in this coun-
trt:., IA
"Some people use dozen. while 9TH
ers make one answer. 1t depends large
ly upon the condition of the socket in
which it is worn. The liquid discharged
from some mems eyes is of such de-
stroying character that it will eat into
the glass in few months. and SO COM
pletelS destroy The smooth surfiGe IL
the bowl as to make the eye unbeara-
BILE. Some men wear an eve five years.
but such instances are rare. A lady
came in my store the other day. con-
tinued the optician, land asked to be
fitted for a pair of eyeglasses at extra
quality. | observed at glance that
she was the possessor of glass optic.
She did not allude to the fact. neither
did /. She wanted something of the
best order. and of course knew any
thing would do to cover up the dummy
eye. l get ont. = frame. placed a splen-
did crystal in the loop that wis to cover
the perfect eye. but nothing in the other
frame. The lady looked at me in
amazameas (wita her good eye), but
assumed an Indifferent look. She
thought the glass was splendid; read
an eStrac: in Il newspaper and ordered
the glasses. Now. you see | made the
price considerably less. told her
they We're worth s12. but to her they
would be cheaper. She returned next
day. got her glasses and departed. The
false eye was covered with the cheapest
kind of crystal. lHiisnarsee Sentinel.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
HE DEMURRED,
How = Mississippi Lawyer Conciliated tn
Court.

How = Mississippi Lawyer Conciliated the
Court.
Squire Riggs. a Mississippi lawyer.
in the conduct of his cases. is so given
to ''demurring" and filling bills of ex-
ceptions.h that he is known all over
his judicial district as .'Old Demurrer. y
During recent trial he filed no less
than seventeen exceptions to the rul-
ings of the court. Finally the Judge
lost all patience with him. and charged
him with unprofessional conduct, and
refused to allow him to proceed further
rs an attorney in the case. "Darn
such another court as this" said the
Squire. whereupon the Judge fined him
ten dollars for contempt.
.'Contempt!' exclaimed the Squire.
''Yes. sir, for contempt of this
court" replied the Judge.
but. Judge. said nothing of this
court that could be construed as con-
tempt"
You did, sir
What did I say. may it please your
HONOR
"You said. sir. Darn this court
You are mistaken. Judge. and
failed to note my e.rception. | distinct
ly said: Darn such another court as
this
The fine is remitted; proceed with
the case. gentlemen said the Judge.
Detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
A CHEAP MEMORY.
A Woman Whose Price Is Indeed Great,
Than Rubies.

n " OMAN WHOSE Is lNueG1 OfeAtef
Than Rubies.
Il say, julia" said Mr. Hobbs, as
his wife entered the room where him
self and friend were discussing busi-
ness matter, chow long ago was. it
that Lige Hunt moved West9''
'.Let me see.' replied Mrs. Hobbs.
five. six. seven. nine-yes. nine years
ago
'.Sure it was as long ago as that?"
'.Yes, l know it was. because l had
my black silk new at the time
Guess you're right. And how long
since he made his property over to his
wife?'
..Seven. l know, because then
took off the fiounces and put on box
plating
'.And when did his mother-in-law
sue him?''
'.Six years ago. At that time had
the overskirt made into a basque"
"And it was four years ago that
your brother endorsed his paper?"
No. only three years. AT that time
l had the skirt cleaned and turned"
We'll. it's only a year ago that Mary
Ann came East, is it,"
That's ALL Then l had the dress
made over to wear plain underskirt. =
81 guess she's right" remarked Mr..
H., as his wife left the room"
Right or wrong cried the en-
tranced friend. that woman's price is
greater than rubies. Why, if my wife
should try to regulate her memory by
her dresses. she'd forget all she ever
knew quicker than successful candi-
date ever forgot his campaign prom
ises. The Judge.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A student in want of money sold
his books, and wrote home: ''Father.
rejoice; for now l derive my support
from literature"
An observer has found out that a
woman can shoot at a tramp with 4
shotgun and never hit the mark once
in a hundred times, but when she
throws dipper of boiling water dis
tress follows in its wake.
"A Nevada woman recently elOped
while her husband was taking bath.
A few such episodes will do more for
the cause of cleanliness than was ever
dreamed of in Dio Lewis's philosophy.
-Binghamton Republican.
Journalists are proverbially
wealthy. To be sure we once knew
one who was accustomed to write his
s.copy' on the soles of his shoes and
then go barefoot while it was being
'.set up" But that was no sign OF pow
erty. He probably did it from choice
Rambler.
Second husband Ito wife)-Are you
as fond of me as you was OF your first
husband, dear? Wife-Yes, indeed;
and if you were to die, John. would
be Just as fond of my third. I'm not a
woman to marry for anything but love.
--Ne,o York Sun.
-Bostonians never utter the vulgar
saving, money makes the mare 60.
Professor Sullivan and all other resi-
dents of Boston say: THE speed OF
the feminine horse is greatly acceler-
ated by pecuniary propulsion. Louis
| ,iIIo rnpI,.,or-Tnuryany
Il have concluded not to 60 to the
play tonight" said Fixton to Mrs. F.,
II want to see friend; and. besides.
you know, it's little damp, and you
might catch cold, DEAR Mrs. F.:
Catch cold! You humbug, your first
thoughts are always for yourself.
Fixton: "Yes, dear. and my second ar
for you; and second thoughts, you
know, are always the best. IN r
Ledger.
Mrs. Breeze: Il am so sorry, Della
to hear that you have had trouble witt
your husband" Mrs. Geeze: ..Yo,
have been misinform I'd, Amelia; merel,,
} = little disagreement. You know mar
ried people can not always agree.
Mrs. Breeze: Cant they? Well, ",
always agree. In fact. 1 make it :
point to see that we do agree; or rathe
that John agrees with me, whic'
amounts to the same thing, "-Phila
delDhia CoU.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Mikado of Japan desires the
establishment of English schools with
English teachers in his empire.
An agricultural school is to be
founded at Santa Clara. Cuba, by 4
wealthy and benefcent lady, Sonora
Marta Abrcn de Estevez.
The expenses Of Yale College last
year exceeded the income by. $11 1854.
The deficit occurred in the academicai
and mechanical departments.
The Church of England has nine
preaching stations along the line OF
canal work on the Isthmus of Panama.
where among the $4,000 laborers there
are large number of Englishmen.
I'm the fifty years Of its existence as
at present constituted the contributions
of the Domestic Committee of the
EpiscopaD Board of Missions have in
creased from about $4,000 to about
$219,OOO.-N. Y. Examiner.
1t is asserted Dy the Christian
Union, on the strength of late statistics,
that the importation of Mormon con-
verts from Europe far exceeds the
number of converts from MormOnisin
by all the Protestant missions to-
gether-"
A society has been formed in ia
pan and now has 800 members. which
is called Japanese Friends of the BIZ
he." Each member is pledged tu
read portion of the Scriptures
daily"
The Lutherans in the United States
"a oh
The number for 1885, will, it is thought.
reach 800. The new churches are for
English, German, Norwegian, Swedish
Danish, Slavoc, Servian, Finn and Ice
landic congregations.-N.Y Y. Iadepend-
ent
AT the recent quarterly meeting Of
the London Baptist Association. Mr..
Spurgeon said that he looked for twen-
sy conversions week as regularly -
he looked for his breakfast. In the
absence of such result to his minis
terial labors he should conclude that
something was wrong. The president
pointed out that during the last ten
years the number of Baptist churches
had increased by $50, the membership
by 5000 and Sunday-school scholars
by 10000.
A New York pastor the other day
asked for permission of the church au-
thorities to move his downtown church
because of the disreputable character of
the neighborhood and the wickedness
Of the people To our thinking these
supply two overwhelming reasons for
the maintenance of church in that
precise neighborhood. Else what are
churches for if not to preach the Gospel
to the wickedest as well a, to the best
people? e?"-C Christian Union.
Rev. Sam Jones no doubt uses :,
great deal Of slang and improper
language in his sermons for whic'I
there can be no justification; but thert
is no doubt also, that he has got genuine
religion in his heart and knows Chris':
that he knows how to tell the precious
story of the cross, and that his heart Is
full of love for lost souls. There is u
good side to Sam as well as a rough
one, as his simple. touching story OF
the silver dollar proves. II gave tn"
hungry. ragged woman silver dollar.
he said, land the eagle on it became Il
nightingale. and it sang for me as
sweetly as Gods minstrels through the
live-long night. Christian at Work.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20

There are some people who will
grumble when they get to heaven.
Nose Sch~umburg is one of them.
What for has you such disgoosted
expression your face one" said Sam
Levy to Nose Schaumburg. because
/ wash disgoosted, Choot as l vas
walkin' dot Austin Avenue down /
found kwavater OF tollar." replied
Nose. "A kwavater of a tollar: Mine
Gott. W wash you disgoosted?' "Pe-
cause it wash not a whole tollar. -
Teras Siftings.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20

-Ex-President Hayes made an ad-
dress in Toledo. o.. at he opening of a
new Misunderstanding ehool building.
Among other good thi rs he said "the
best and most important crop in this
co ntry is our bows and girls, Wester'i
RuraL.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20

--''You dear thing" she said, gush-
ingly. ''how handsome your bonnet
doe. look. I'm sure it looss as well as
II lid last winter Only woman
:oaia SAY things iik. this ard say them
so easy. -Rocklai!d Courier. Gazette.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-20

Texas newspapers no longer say
nurn: they use the much inner word
..ashify'' in headlines.-N Y. sem,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-05-28
Wonderful Cures.

w. ID. Hoyt & Co., Wholesale
aud Retail Druggists of Rome, Ga,
saws: We have been selling DR..
Kings New Discovery, Electric
Bitters and Bucklen's Arnica Salye
for two years. Have never handled
remedies that sell as well, or give
such universal satisfaction. There
have been some wonderful cures
effected by these medicines in this
city. Several cases of pronounced
Consumption have been entirely
CURED by use of a few bottles of
DR.. Kings New Discovery, taken
IN connection with Electric Bitters
We guarantee them always.
Sold by B. Schmitt.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-05-28
The Checkered Apron.


She put her checkered apron on, and tied
it round her waist
No queen with ieweled diadem could be
more 6tly graced.
And when she sauntered down the lane
and reached the linden tree,
I thought l saw my coming fate, whose
name was Kitty Lee.
I had not spoken much Of love, though
often we bad met
And vet she answered something, once,
could not well forget;
But she was fair and rosy, and | thought
how nice 'twould be
II when she tied that apron on, the tie
was meant for me.
The summer sun was nestliDg down be-
yond the distant hills,
One voice alone saluted us-the plantivs
whip-poor-will's.
| spoke about my loneliness, OF tolls and
cares tnab ltct,
And she, with soothing readiness, was glad
that we had met.
One knows not how such little words pro
ceed from less to more,
But, somehow, we came nearer than We
ever stood before;
And. when saw the meaning that her
beaming face supplied,
I found my arm was resting where saw
that apron tied
And so put the question that must hap
pen soon OF late,
And found that Love was ready to obey
the call Of Fate.
0 Kitty Lee, thank yOu-for when you
that apron tied,
You shaped a wOndrous love-knOt tha'
won you for my bride,
joel Benton, in Demoresf' hon'h'y
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-05-28
APPENDIX II.
NATURAL CURIOSlTIES.


1t would require perhaps several
volumes to give minute descnp-
tion of all the natural and interest
ing curiosities of our country. The
inQuisitive individual can scarcely
travel more than Il mile or two In
any direction among our noun
tains, but some sublime and grand
work of nature presents itself to
the eye, which excites his wonder
and admiration. The author must
therefore content himself with a
brief description Of comparatively
a few of the most remarkable. lie
will commence his narrative with
Harper's Ferry. This wonderful
work of nature has been so accu.
rately described by Mr.. Jefferson,
that it is deemed unnecessary to
give a detailed description of it,
Suffice it to say, that no stranger
can look at the passage OF the wa
ters of the Potomac and Shenan-
doah, rushing through the yawning
gap of the mountain, without feel
ing awe at the grandeur and sub.
Unity of the scene, and ready to
PROSTATE himself in alteration be-
fore that omnlpotent God whose
almighty arm hath made all things
according to his own wisdom and
power.
1t is much to be regretted that a
Captain Henry, during the admin
istratiOn of the elder Adams in
1899, when what was called the
provisional army was raising, and
| a part of which was stationed at
Harper's Ferry,.greatly injured one
Of the most interesting curiosties
| of this place. A rock Of extraordi
nary shape and Of considerable size
stands on the brink Of a high hill,
on the south side OF the tnng OF
point of land Immediately in the
fork of the river. The apex Of this
rock was a broad fiat table, sup
ported on a pivot, on which Mr.
Jefferson, during his visit to this
place, inscribed his name, from
which it took the name of Jeffer'
sons rock.
The years 1898 and 1899 were q
period of extraordinary political ex
citement. The two great politica
parties, federal and democratic, o
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-05-28
A Dealer who Wanted an Erana Boy
Questions and Answers.

"You say you live with your
parents said u china dealer who
was putting a lot of youngsters
through a civil service examIna-
ton for the position of errand boy
in his establishment. "And you
are quick at figures ?"
"Yes sir"
"Now, suppose | had dropped
around the corner TO get lunch,
and u lady should come along who
wished to purchase two dozen cups
and saucers at $l.50 a Dozen"
"Yes sir.
"After agreeing to take the
goods she hands you 81 note,
How much change would you 70.
turn to her. 90
1.-TWO dozen cups and saucers +"
asked the boy, gazing toward the
ceiling.
"Thats what | said"
"She must be a boardin, house
keeper to
"Never mind what she is. How
much change would you hand herr
asked the dealer.
"a dollar and a half dozenw
"Yes, yes. Now them"
"Don't you think that's pretty
high for"
"Never mind whether it's high
or low. How much money would
you return to the lady n
"But them s. might be bad"
calculated the boy, winking at the
store cat.
ave will suppose the bill to be
good" SAID the dealer, sharply.
81 don't see what one woman
wants to buy all them cups and
saucers for, anyway. When my
sister got married she didn't set up
housekeepin' with near so-'
"Then you can't give me the
answer ~
"well," murmured the boy, shift
ing to his other foot, and keeping
an eye on the cat, "rd just tell
the lady TO call round when you
was in and get her change, for the
bill might be a bad IN, and ] don't
never take no risks.S
"You're engaged" calculated the
DEALER California Marerick.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-05-28
nR. b. T. NAPHIS & BRO.
-DenfiHts.-

OFYsKs. WoOdstsck and saumsvlls, virginia.
l. Woodstock, ITt and 81 weeks Of each month,
IN aaHnsvills I'd and fth weeks.
Thoss in need Of hrst class Dentistry atmoder-
ate prices, will do well - eal.
Pail sets Of Arthesl teeth from tT.0eto $500,
S25 ~ and 15e.oe
Gilinzs frsn 75s. 20 SEQ.
Arsiaeal testh putHp on solid gold, Gold and
Gsllsloid Combustion. Cslleloid and rubber plates
0sld asd Porcelain rivotins clasps, 10, speciA
attention elven 70 hlirg and preserving The na'
tural bssth, and correcting the irregulanues.
All YORK warranted hrst class.
~ Tssfhsxirscted absolutely without pain bl
he sss Of Nitrous Oxidsda
NAV Is. i4-tf