The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-10-21
HUMOR.


q stag.
A scESrsIBLE business-the per
tuners.
WHY Is n woman deformed when she
is mending her stockings? because her
hands are where her feet ought to he.
WHY was the Egyptian OF olden times
q really filial kind of fellow? Because
he thought great deal of his mummy
THE banana is becoming very popu-
lar in this country. Even .dignined
men go down to meet 1t on the pave
III ent.
The ioker's task is thankless one,
after all. Some people never appreci-
ate a good point. For instance, you
take the schoolmaster and the pin.
JUpGE-"Has anything come to your
ears about this quarrel2" Witness
81 should say so. l got my ears boxed
for talking about it TO the neighbors.
-TerdS SUttngs.
A CHICAGO minister preached last
Sunday on ~What can L do to be
saved?" 1t would seem that about the
first move would be to get out CT Chi
cago.-EsteLtine Bell
"AND you say the defendant didn't go
on the stand 2" mo, his counsel
wouldn't let him. He never opens his
mouth without putting his foot into 1t.
"Oh-he's a gymnast, is heT-1td-
Bits.
THE American grl can't sing any
better because she comes home with
her name done over beyond all recog-
milton into bad Italian, but she can
charge higher prices for the orchestra
chairs. -Louisriile journal.
YES" said the mother, compliment
", "Mary's married well; she's got for
a husband q porter in sleepiug-car.
There was horseshoe hanging above
our door when she was boru, and L al
ways said she would marry rich. Dos
tom Courier.
"WHERE is the female Department."
asked the visitor. none, replied
the Sheriff; "never was a woman prls-
oner in this Jail. D." us that possible?
You amt married man, / reckon, or
you'd know that you cant shut wo-
man up"
Il THINK old Judge Pennybunker is
one of the LATEST men L ever saw. re-
mis-. us he so lazy?" LAZY! lazy is
lazy that it tires him TO keep up with
the earth when it turns on its axis. y
Teras S1tingS.
"Hov Is this 2" said a man, address
ing a just of the peace. jackson
was arrested TOR murder, but you are
trying him for hog-stealing. My
friend" the justice replied, 1T is true
that the man committed murder, but
he stole hog In this country first
try a man for the greatest offense. =
ArkanSGW TrGceier.
"YEs, said the mother. "Mary is very
ambitious. She VOWS she will marry
foreign count, or some grandee of some
kind, and she wants to be accomplish
ed" Accomplished 2" "Nes. Moth
ing will satisfy her short of being fitted
to become the wife of nobleman."
"And are your educating her?" Yes;
/ am teaching her how TO wash and
iron. "-BostoR Courier.
THE BoARDEE's PUNISHMENT.
The boarders at breakfast were jolly alas.
Said Jones, you hal better the CLEO pass,
Then funny Smith cried I'm hash aimed Of
you, Jones,
For getting up plate-do tripe picking these
bones.
Il woke cup and saucer the sun beef fore you"
Jones grinned AN esq sample you ought TO
pursue"
And then took napkin. you pass mo leek p
Brown shouted a-laying in food for week
How can knife fork get chew, smiled Green 70
Miss White,
This liver OF liver you'll find is Just right
Well, / mustard init, sir, you're very well
bread.
And that's why you cut him SO often, Shocks
said
Lettuce mocha segar. jenkins tried filling up.
When the landlady caught him. with glucose
his cup
20. what mis- steak snapped out Podgers,
"he means
pipe, "a for mocha-he doesn't know beans
The landlndy 3 turn came rs sharp q sword,
Now stop all this nonsense-you see 1 ham
board.
And for your bad puus will punish you, so
You'll get no more food till all pay what they
owe"
H. &. Dodge IN Free Press.