The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1886-04-24

few days ago he preached the Fun
eral of the Devil. You can attend
the circus now without fear of pun
ishment.
Powderly has written to Gould a
letter as long as the Presidents mes
sage in which we presume Gould
gets good lecture, but life is too
short and oil too dear for us to read
such long winded dissertations.
Some of the politicians are run
ming into destruction as fast as the
unlocked and fabricated wheels of
the political chariot can carry them.
Friends of the family are invited in
advance to be present 1.-THE funeral
If President Cleveland is engaged
to be married as often and as regu-
larry as the Washington correspond
ents would have him, he must be a
very giddy young thing. Possibly
the Washington correspondents are
the giddy ones.
Lew Wallace is in favor of chang
ing the nations name from 1.-The
United States to "America" She
knows her name so well, and has
been called by itfor hundred years,
and perhaps it would sound little
unnatural to her to be called Miss
America.
The long looked-for brother of the
man who reads borrowed papers has
been found. He lives in Kentucky
and has invented machine by
which he can cook his meals by the
smoke from his neighbours chimney.
Late last night the first streak Of
lightning was seen down that way
looking for him.
There is good field for mission
airy work among the urchins of this
town. If the good people who are
so enthusiastic over foreign missions,
church extension, help for the heath
en- DC, would undertake the task of
civilizing few of our home heather
the blessings of heaven would rest
upon their heads.
Christopher Columbus is teaching
school in Michigan, and William
Shakespeare is expounding law in
Iowa. Within the last few years
James X. Polk, George Washington,
Henry Clay, John C. Calhoun and
Daniel Webster have served terms in
the Virginia penitentiary; George
Washington is there now.-Ea.
There are always great many la
dies in Morgantown who take pride
in cultivating flowers scientifically
and successfully. Nothing more
beauties home than baskets and
pots of flowers in the windows and
patches of flowers in the yards. We
hope that this beautiful custom will
be kept up during the coming sum-
mer. "The flowers that bloom in the
spring have very much ito do with
the case" the Mikado to the con-
trary Notwithstanding.
A committee of seven has been ap-
pointed by the House of Representa-
tives to investigate the cause or
causes and extent of the present diff
ficulties between labor and capital
in the States of Illinois, Missouri,
Kansas, Arkansas and Texas. 1t is
to report during the present session,
with such recommendations as it
may deem proper to make. The in
vestigation should be thorough and
complete. Somebody is guilty and
ought to be brought to the books.
Go slow. In selecting your men
for Mayor and members of Council,
elect men whose ambition it will be
to build up the town industrially,
morally and intellectually. Men
who will suppress public nuisances,
encourage improvements and keep
the streets clean. Men who are not
in favor of old rotten stables and
filthy hog pens. Go slow. Don't
let prejudice, or politics or anything
else keep you from working for the
election of the very best men obtain
able. Go slow.
That scheme for importing editor
ial brains from Ohio for some of our
more or less highly esteemed con
temporaries makes some rich, rare
and racy reading. 1t is to supply
long felt want" DC, DC. Here is a
chance for these papers to dispose of
themselves at fair figures for cash.
But what about the quality of the
Buckeye brains that are to be i'm
ported2 Nothing is said about that
further than to cite the new editor
of the State Tribune as sample.
Send us dozen bolts like the sam
pie.
The Congressional Democratic
Campaign Committee is composed
in it's newly-announced membership
as follows: J. Randolph Tucker,
chairman; Massachusetts,, Henry b.
lowering; Connecticut, Charles L.
Mitchell; New Jersey, VIM. Meade;
Delaware, Charles B. Lore; Pennsyl-
vsnia. Daniel Ermcntrout: New
York, J. Thomas Spriggs; Ohio.
lor;ah Wilkins. ,Tayas w IT Grain,