davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dawson journal., 1886-11-18

IT is shocking to the girls of
this age that Bartholdi made his
goddess of liberty without corset,
bang or hustle.
RoBINsoN's circus was in Alba
ny Monday and red lemonade.
led liquor and artesian water wsre
badly mixed by night.
We hope our subscribers will
remember that We are no bald-pa-
ted philanthropist. Waltz up and
demand a receipt
IT is to be hoped that the prison
retorm congrt ss,in session in At
anita, will bring the Georgia pen;-
tentiary gang to repentance.
---
PRESIDENT CLEVELAND declined
the degree of LII. d. from H,r-
ward College. He did not desire
an empty honor. Sensible Cleve-
land.
ALBANY is the biggest market
an Georgia for the size Off With
a railroad running to that place
Dawson could improve herself in
that respect.
Some of our exchanges say that
the late elections were very en-
couraging to the democrats. We
fail to see where the comfort has
its lodging place.
WHILE our Northern friends
are having snow we are having
cool, clear, crisp, invigorating
weather. The South can down
the North on weather any day.
"THE Brunswick band seems to
have captured Atlanta" Maybe
so; but if we were going into the
capturing business in Atlanta
we'd take along well-flled flask.
The ALBANIA legislature has
elected a woman engrossing clerk,
whereupon an exchange remarks
that she will likely engross q
good deal of the time Of the mem
bers.
PICS, billy-goats and other ami
mails can continue to commit nui-
sances in the neighboring town of
CuGhbert. The stock law was de-
fea:ed there by good majority
last week.
BIRMINGHAM girls have caught
on to the right thing. When they
hear that young man has said
anything naughty of them they
arm themselves with cowhides
and go out and give him a sound
thrashing.
EVERY now and then our Alba
ny neighbor gives an exceedingly
loud hoop for Its cotton market. 1t
can't get around the fact that the
pool is causing falling off of the
cotton receipts in that town.
Dawson is now humping herself.
UP to this time the Legislature
has done Dut little except elect
Judges and Solicitors, and attend
to the inaugural ceremonies. Quite
a number of bills and resolu-
tions were introduced under the
call of counties.
The Columbus Enquirer re-
marks: "Grover Cleveland, Presi-
dent by the grace Of God, and the
sweat and blood of his democratic
brethren, misused his high Office
to the detriment Of his constitu-
ents and the damnation Of his par
ty."
IT was humiliating spectacle
last week to see the publication in
newspapers of certificates Of char
aeter of men who were applicants
for Georgia Judgeships, A man
who aspires to this high and hon
orable position should need no
certificate of character.
IT seems that "Mr. Smith, rep
resentive from Pierce" was some
what befuddled last week. He
published different cards in the
Constitution in which lie prom
ised to support every candidate
for the Judgeship of the Bruins
wick circuit. The greatest ques-
ton for the Legislature to solve
now is, who did "AIr. Smith" vote
for.
THERE saams to ba r,poic in
The Dawson journal., 1886-11-18

EVERY now and then our Alba
ny neighbor gives an exceedingly
loud hoop for Its cotton market. 1t
can't get around the fact that the
pool is causing falling off of the
cotton receipts in that town.
Dawson is now humping herself.
The Dawson journal., 1886-11-18

We notice that the report Of
Legislative proceedings include
invitations Of visitors to "seats on
the floors" This is a nuisance
peculiar, we believe, to Georgia,
and one which ought to be abated,
but which will not be SO long as
publication is made of the"honor"
extended to the distinguished
visitors.
The Dawson journal., 1886-11-18

THE News and Advertiser
says that Albany has chloro-
form inebriate "a man who drinks
and inhales this poisonous
drug. 1t is stated that he prefers
the effects Of chloroform to that
Of whiskey. He enters upon a
regular debauch, in which he acts
as if drunk with alcoholic stimu-
lanta
The Dawson journal., 1886-11-18
ANNOUNCEMENTS.

7 G.. MARSHALL is a candidate for
K Sheriff, and if elected will DISCHARGE
every duty faithfully and 10 the best OF
his ability
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Antumn ArrOM-ShOts.

Fond mother-"Are you not somewhat as
tonished at my girls singingY Professor-"I
must confess l am but at her age one is nat
urally venturesome." Life.
Tramp-Please help me; / am a Charleston
sufferer. Old gentleman-Ah, indeed-a suf-
ferer by that awful earthquake2 What did you
lose? Tramp lost bet how many shocks
there was.-LDe
A collector Of curiosities visited dealer in
antiquities, and, examining a relic of the past,
said "You guarantee the origin and genuine
ness of this articleY" "As ifI had made it my
self" replied the unblushing dealer.-L0HdOa
Globe.
Things one would rather have left unsaid !:
She" And you are really better, Professor,
since you came to live in Hampstead 2" He
"Oh, yes different man altogether~ She
How pleased all your friends will be"-LOn-
don Punch.
whats the matter with the train, Conduc-
tor 2" asked passenger. DO you expect to
stop at every crossroadf" "If you don't like
the way this train is rum" growled the con-
ductor, you can get off and walk" "Oh, Pm
in no hurry" said the pasSenger-Harper 8
Bd=ar.
Wife-What do you think Of the idea of my
taking German lessons, my dear? Husband
would advise you TO do as you think best, of
course, but my private opinion is that you get
along so famously in English that to take up q
second language seems wildly superhuous.-
Harper's Bazdr.
"0h, lions don't trouble me much, remarked
a courageous Frenehman. " / met one once in
the desert, splendid fellow, and what do you
think 1 didf Simply whipped out my PEN
knife and cut off his tall" "And why not his
head ?" "Oh. hunter had saved me that
trouble by doing it the day before."-Freneh
Fun
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Ant Farmers.
IYouh's Companion.


The prairies of southern and western Texas
are dotted all over with little knolls that look
like baldheaded men, because their sides are
covered with herbage while their tops are bare.
The badness is caused by ant-hills. If you
examine one of these knolls any time after
the middle of January, and sometimes even
earlier, you will find the summit alive with
farmers.
Some are carrying of the accumulated debris
left by Winter winds and rains, some are turn
ing up the soft earth with their mandibles,
others bringing up tiny grainsfrom the granaries
underground, and still others planting these
grains in the earth.
few weeks later, IL you should ride over
this same prairie, you would find every knoll
crowned with little circular patch Of tender
green. 1t is the young "ant-wheat."
A nearer view will show you the farmers still
at work, though not in such numbers. They
cut out every weed as soon as it appears and
drag it out of the field, which is generally about
three feet in diameter, forming a solid wheel,
of which the entrance to the ant-hill Is the hub
and a narrow beaten path on the outer rim the
tire. Weeds, sticks, everything that hinders
the growth of the crop, is carried beyond the
tire of the wheel.
But perhaps the strangest sight Of all will
reward inspection when the wheat is ready for
harvest. All the available working force OF
the farm is brought out. The wheat is now
cality, fertility Of soil, etc.
A tiny granger selects his stalk, and climbing
to the top. cuts of the highest grain of wheat
and brings it down. A second granger takes
il at the foot of the stalk and carries it to the
hill, where third receives and takes it down
to the barns which like those Joseph built in
Egypt, are under ground.
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
The Nan With n Glass Eve.
lChicago Inter Ooean.I


Speaking of glass eyes" said an old lawyer
brings 10 mind a little incident that occurred
in Chicago. Among our young professional
men is one whose brilliant black eyes would
attract attention anywhere. lie goes much
into society, aud is quite a iayOrite among the
ladies because of his eyes. One of these beauti-
ful black eyes is glass. but il seems SO much the
counterpart Of the other that not one person in
a hundred would detect its artiiciality. Among
the members Of his profession not one knows
that the young man has only one good eye
"On one occasion he escorted young lady TO
the refreshment tables aud entertained her
with pleasant chat in a way that he thought
making a favorable impression. As they
were taking ice cream he looked uJJ as she gave
utterance 10 some startling exclamation, and
WAS surprised to see her eyes fixed on him with
a look OF mystiled intentness and horror. She
was a wel-bred girl, but something had so as
founded her that she continued 10 look at him
in a way that raised the question of his sanity.
fly had lit square in the center Of his bril-
liant black glass eye and remained there he,
of course, unconscious of its presence The
spectacle Of that eye looking at her with a fly
on 1T and the owner making no attempt to
brush il of was too much for his companion
His explanation, even, was not quite satisfac-
tory. She had believed so implicitly in those
magnificent dark eyes that she has since that
time regarded him as something Of fraud"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28

A New York reporter writes: There is in
this wonderful city no end Of the ways by
which men make money. Going home al 3
a. m. the other morning ! found a man follow
ing the street car track aud the cutters with
dark lantern. He was patiently working from
one side Of the street TO the other casting the
light over every inch of the pavement. ] was
curious and questioned him. Said he: {" 4
make fair living by finding things in the
street. ] pick up the things that have been
dropped since nightlall, and you would be as
tOnished 10 know what a variety Of Things they
are. This street is one OF the arteries of the
town. Thousands Of persons getting on aud
of these cars. crOwding and pushing and upset
ting their pockets. What have found Money
mostly. cents and niclzels and silver pieces. Ii
s. astonishing how many coins are dropped.
have picked up AS much as 81 Of = single morn
ing. j hnd every article that persons carry in
their pOckots-Watchcs, knives. keys. trinkets.
j have picked up hand satchels fishing rods,
rcv0lvcrs bundles containing store purchases.
whips, horscshoes. everything that people carry.
They all have value. When ] can find an
owner for them restore them 30 him start
ont about midnight and search until daybreak
Here Is pair Of opera glasses picked up an
hour ago. They are very fine, and it looks az
though they would pawn for 50; that's a good
nights work alone. Some nights ! find very
little, but not often. Last night found a boz
of slrdines and a pair Of baby's shoes But
must be moving on"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Mrs. Chase and Her paughters.

Ex-Goy. Sprague, Of Rhode Island, in a recent
interyiew said with much tenderness and feel
SagysI'eaking of his divorced wife:
" Mrs Katherine Chase is a woman of rare
attRnments She has q brilliant mind and
many accomplishments. She is a woman Of
ardent affections. and nature has been munih-
cent in bestowing upon her rare charms of per-
son and manner. She will bring up her daugh-
tiers well. and they will make fine women. The
world has been very inconsiderate in its treat
ment of her. She is devoting herself TO her
children, 10 bring them up TO be good and noble
women, an honor 10 their blood and parentage
and she should be permitted TO follow these
instincts Of maternity without intrusion Of pub
lic comment or scandal Every word thus ut
tered she may endure, but can the children live
II dD~n2 Mrs. Chase was always high spirited
woman. accustomed 10 exercising her own will,
and she will always do that"
Speaking of Mrs. Chase's means, the ex-
Governor said: Mrs. Chase is well off: she
inherited some property from her mother who
died when she was young, and also from her
father. There were only two children. ] gave
her $4,000 in her own right. Judging from
her usual conservatism in money matters and
her business tact, she must have sufficient to
make her comfortable IL used with discretion
That she will do. / learn that her style of
living near Paris rs very plain, bat respectable
and com ortable. She will probably complete
the education of her daughters in Paris, and
will then return TO the United States 10 reside"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
sentiueIs Who Knew Their Buty.
rAflanta Ooneiitution. /


A good story is told on young recruit who
recently enlisted at Camp Hancock, near At
lanta The young fellow Joined the army
while the country was threatening war with
Mexico, and he intended 10 make n good sol
der. one day he was on guard duty and was
slowly stepping along when an officer ap-
preached. After the usual salute the oihcer
said
"I.et me see your gun"
The raw recruit handed over his Springfield
rifle aud a pleased expression stole over his
face.
AS the officer received the gun he said in a
tone of deepest disgust:
"YoH're a fine soldier You've given up your
gun. and now what are you going TO dOY'
The Young Albanian turned pale and reach
ing for his hip pocket he drew big six shooter,
and preparing for business said IN voice that
could not be misunderstood:
"Gimme that gun or Ill blow hole through
you in a pair o minutesm
The officer instantly decided not 10 "mon-
lev aly further with the raw recruit, and
the gun was promptly surrendered.
This story brings TO mind one that is told OF
Confederate guard who was once on duty
over in South Carolina. An officer was discuss
ing war matters and remarked:
"You know your duty here, do you, senti-
nelYo
Yes, sir"
SWELL now suppose they should open on
You with shells and riusketry, what would you
dop"
Form a line, sir"
"What one man form liBe~
"Yes, sir; form bee line for camp sirw
One day Beauregard, with several lesser
lights, came upon sentinel who had taken his
gun entirely TO pieces and was greasing lock,
stock and barrel. The great General looked
like a thunder cloud, but neither his flashing
uniform nor the seoWl on his face had any
effect on the sentinel, who quietly proceeded to
rub piece of his gun.
Say" remarked an officer, that's Beaure-
gard there he's a sort of General"
"All right" said the unabashed sentinel, " If
hell wait till get this gun together III give
lim a sort OF a salute"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28

was the wanderer? Was il the sun or the
author, or was il perhaps Jacob? Laughter,
notes the reporter. Where had this wanderer
gone down TO? Did the sun particularly like
the wanderer. Roars OF laughter, says the re-
porter. And this in the place of an original
line, as one Of natures poets gave il 20 the
church and the ages: Daylight all gonel'"
Ten feet away from the smart speaker sat one
Of the Oldest hymnologists in the land, looking
over at him with an expression of amusement
aud perhaps wonder. as he saw him, like q
beetle, sticking himself on a pin without the
help Of a naturalist. For he knew that what
such people criticize is almost inevitably the
true reading, and what is offered i'm its place is
the tinker" So he understood, from habitual
observation, that when men talk spitefully
against alterations il means that they would
have altered the lines if they had had the
chance 1t was not at all the authors reading
they wanted, but their own. As the gifted
authoress wrote the hymn, the line stood, The
sun gone down." aud that was what the plat
form orator was making such fun of.
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
the conflict was well understood by every
one, and there was little or no

the conflict was well understood by every
one, and there was little or no
BRAyADO AND VAPoRING
on either side Some Of our Generals
seemed not TO sleep at all, and IL required
wonderful amount of endurance 10 undergo
all that was required of them without COM
pletely breaking down. Others seemed TO
thrive on it, judging from Their robust ap-
pearace.
Six hundred and forty-two Confederates
were found dead on the field, and Gen. Hood
admits that he lost 1 500 in killed, wounded
and missing. Our loss amounted TO 100
killed aud 600 wounded. The Confederate
loss has been stated as much greater than
the figures here given, but j am convinced
they are nearly correct The open space In
front was well adapted for charge, while
the heavy woods on each side afforded safe
place TO move into while Withdrawing from
the front Our men by this time knew how
90 take advantage Of every hill, hillock and
copse, and could throw up temporary
breastwork as easily and skilliully as any
men ever did. The old-lashioned impression
that a soldier should stand mp 10 be shot at
had passed away, and he had learned 20 take
what advantage be could of his enemy. in
the early part of the war they did not un-
derstand things as well as they did later.
There was a good deal of humbug aud nom
sense when the soldiers first took the held,
and ID required some time TO eradicate TINS,
but eventually il was done and no better
inlanfry ever stood i'm a field than that which
belonged 10 Gen. Sherman's army, and served
during the Atlanta campaign and on the
march TO the sea.
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Her Scheme.
frbfr0Oo Mil I

Mr.. Chas. L. Willoughby, the clothing man,
owns good deal Of Chicago real estate and,
consequently, has plenty of offers to buy, sell,
or trade for other property. The other day q
lady called on him and offered to trade an unim-
proved lot, which she owned, for some improved
property. The offer did not look very tempt
ing to the clothing man, but she insisted, and
finally wound up with this argument as a
clncher: Her property, when improved, would
bean excellent location for a saloon, and would
rent for that purpose at once at a handsome
figure. But as she was a church member she
couldn't rent her property for any such pur-
pose. lie was not churchman and could rent
his buildings as he pleased. Mr.. Willoughby
smiled at the proposition, but didn't trade.
"She didn't want to go to HI herself" he
says, but was perfectly willing should"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Nothing Desperate.

Daughter-Pa, George is in the parlor and
wants 10 see you.
Texas father-What? That ornery dude
wants to see me? Well, he shall see me more
of me than he wants to.
Daughter-Now, pa, please don't hurt his
feelings.
Texas father-I shan't hurt his feelings.
Mother-Say, John. don't you go aud do
something desperate and get put in Jail for it.
Texas father-l amt going to do anything
desperate. / just intend to kill him. Who
said anything about being desperate?
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Death OF the Man Who Saved Two Union Officers
Ht New 0rleHnk

John Mcclellan once conspicuous political
character in New Orleans, is dead. Ia the old
times before the war, he was "A leader among
the Creole Americans. When John T. Monroe
was elected Mayor in 1860 Mcclellan was his
CHIEF Ol Police. On the capture of the CITY bv
Iarrgut, when two naval silicers landed and
walked 10 the City Hall 10 demand the hauling
down OF the State flag and the raising of the
Dag Oi the United States, demonstrations were
made against the officers by the rab,e that
tmperiled their lives. Mcclellan. with two
trustg followers, received the officers aud took
them 70 thc Mayors parlOr. After the audience
was concluded and the officers sought 10 retire
Mcclellan resorted % subterfuge 10 get them
safely out OF the building. lie induced the
brilliant orator, Pierre Soule, to make a fiery
harAhgue To the crowd from the City Hall steps
while hc took the officers out through side
door aud put them la carriage Eyadng the
mob, they were driven rapidly 10 the landing
Admiral tarragut necognized this service. aud
az long ar lac lived he saw that Mcclellan was
cared Tor m the Custom House, although not a
Republican. For the last few ycars Mcclellan
was Deputy Sheriff
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Like an Earthquake.

Moses and Isaac Rabbenstein were sitting in
the back part OF Isaae's store talking, when
there came a jar to the building.
"Mein Kott, Izg." exclaimed Moses, rising
in terror, ''let us ged oud."
"Pe kvied, Moses, vats der matter wild you p
said Isaac. angrily.
"Yy Izig, dat var an erdkvuaeg"
Erdkvuaeg, nuddings! Dat vOs only Shakey
ub stairsh dropping der brices on Summer clOd-
ing. We've got der fnesh sthoch in der city,
Izig. Come vid me and taeg look ad i'd"
And the two forgot there ever was an earth
quake, and went up to see the stock.
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
One OF the Imported Citizens.
TBoStOn JourndI.l

The following attempt to prove an alibi was
made in a Rock Island. ILL.,, court: "Where,"
asked the counsel for the Defense examining a
Swedish farm hand, was your boss that
nightT' al not could say" replied the Swede.
" Did you not tell me down at the foot of the
stairs leading TO the court room that you would
swear he was at home that nightP Maybe,
yees did. The boss gave me pair of sleeve
buttons If / say 80. The sleeye-buttons not
good. weel geef them back"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
FORTUNES
AWAITING CLAIMANTS

LIE BURIED In the COURTS Of CHANCERY,
BANK OF ENGLAND, ENGLAND, FRANCE,
GERMANY AND OTHER COUNTRIES, amount
ing to $3.50 O000 900, great part Of which be-
long to the PEOPLE OF AMERICA, including all
classes of the community. The Chancery Paymas-
ter will gladly pay the money to the rightful own
ers If they will only put In their claims. Thousands
of people In the United States unconscious Of
the fact that fortune has descended to them from
remote ancestors, and because they have no knowl-
edge of these ancestors they take no interest In
what Is Of vital Importance TO them. We earnestly
urge every one to send to the BRITISH-AMERI-
CAN CLAIM AGENCY, STEWART BUILDING.
NEW YORK CITY, and obtain their authenticated
Book Register (price so eenss, stamps or postal
motel. containing q list of $1,000 people to whom
this vast wealth belongs. and if they find their
names those Of their ancestors they should fol-
low the instructions IL contains A fortune may
await them.
The following are n FEW Of the surnames
(among the $4,000 of persons entitled to money
and property:
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
A Wonderful Echo-

An aged clergyman in a rural New England
town was called to attend the funeral of a
man very much beloved by his family In the
course of his sermon he described the great en-
jOyment which the deceased had given to the
members of his household. Then followed a
description of the great change which all would
now feel. 1t ended with these words: When
you return from yonder grave you will wander
from room to room crying: 'FatherI Father 2
And echo III answer: He han't hereP"
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
Lei Him Go.
IDraLe's Tropelersf Ndoe-.as1 I

lDrakes Trouciers Hdge=.ne
81 think yon lave been here before" said
police Justice TO drunk and disorderly va
grant.
Never, sir; l. jest came in from Rawchester
yesterday"
will you 60 back TO Rochester il let you
goT
"Yes, sir; and be glad of the chance
Very well; will let you 20 over TO the
Island for three months, and then you may 90
back 10 Rochester.
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
A Great Reward

will be secured by those who write 10 Hallett Co..
Portland, Maine. Full information will be sent you.
ever you are situated that viii you from s. 10 s5
q day. Capital not needed Halett Co will start you
Both sexes; all ages. The chance of lifetime All Is
the workers,
The National tribune., 1886-10-28
100 Nasllnr.lInchines Rr...

To introduce them 10 the readers of THE Ma.
TIokAL TRIBUNE We will give 100 Self Opcrat.
tng washing Machines III you want Que send
your name at once. Address Monarch Laundry
Works, % d l0I Randolph Street, Chieeso. Ill