Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1886-08-28
WIMPsEY's PREDICAMENT.

" IA 4 - Il A----@ H - = 49, H
Chicago Mail.
A meeker-appearing milder-faced In
dividual would be difficult to find any
where, yet the conductor addressed tn,
man beside that same inOfensive look
ing person as ''SheEiff."
1t was between a small Indiana tow
and the county seat, late IN the evening
and the car was nearly empty.
"What Is that man guilty OFF" In
quired a passenger in front Of me wheI
the conductor came around. "He doesnt
look as though he could murder any.
body"
The conductor smiled, Murdered the
peace-I guess that's about all" he re-
piled. "a lady in the case, I presume
or several of them"
"But 1 should never take him for a
ady-liIler," persisted the curious pas
senger.
The Conductor SPOKE to the sheriff
and that official laughed aud clapped his
mild-eyed prisoner on the shoulder.
1.-THE passengers wanter know what
we've been a dom, Wimpsey."
Wimpsey turned toward US with d
deprecatory air. do theyY he half
moaned. ''Wal, I hain't bin a-doin' Jest
nothin', only let myself be kinder hauled
roun' like by a parcel O. wimin, till
hain't got any sense left"
The sheriff rOared.
That's what's the matter, Wimpsey.
Tell 'em all about 1.-THE whole story
The train was rumbling smoothly over
the Indiana prairie; the light burned
dimly, and it was a rather good time to
hear a story Of any kind.
"Aight as well, 1 reckon" sighed the
prisoner, rolling his eyes up to the ven
ElatOrs as if to draw in some necessary
fresh air in that way. 81 hain't he'd q
minutes peace since I came to this yere
civilized country. Ye see, I've been iv-
ing ont west, in Dakota, where the wimir
folks amt very thick, an L never bother
ed my brains bout 'em. But when
Uncle Jake died an left me his farm yere
In Indiany, came on, an fust thing
knowed 1 wuz goin' in the best sussiety,
an gals vuz thicker'n hops. Fust, there
wuz Tom Blanders' gal, Kizzy, at q big
picnic, an Cousin Jane introduced US
an Their was no gitten' out ov 1t. Sht
tux my arm an said it wuz much pleas
anter outer the beaten path rOun' whal
the violets growed So we started of
an went an set down on a big log an
talked an talked. She allowed it mus
be mighty pleasant over to my farm, an
I said I'd git her day an show her round
I TUX her home in my spring waggin
an she said be sure an come soon te
make a call. In less'n three weeks VI
wuz promised, an made it all up ter b
married IN tn fall"
The prisoner paused, and his smOOtl
face resumed an expression OF dec
melancholy.
awhile me an Kizzy wuz a-keepn
company her cousin Sally come owe
from townsville ter make visit at tn
Blanders'. She wuz mighty Peart an
good lOokin', en- all the young Teller
yruz cracked on her. Kizzy wuz sick
smell. an I felt sorber 'blged ter tax
SALLY ont a-ridin an make 1t intereshI
fur her. bein' ez she WIZ relation nv tn
family. Sally wuz an awful cOnhdl1
sort o. girl, an when she got her eye
on a Teller it list went right through
Rizzv handn't never let on bout us beir
engaged. though her folks suspiciOned IT
an Sally didn't know nOthin' bout it.
ave got on famous together, an on
dav we went ridin' in my brand neN
buggy. an she was handsOmer'n ever, an
said she should miss M so much Whel
abe went back home ter JOnesvlllei an
I got kinder reckless, 1 allow, fur mex
thing L knOwed, Sally wuz engaged te
me, toor'
Wimpssy mopped his forehead wit
his bandana, and his malanchol
increased
ssThe mex day Sally went home, an
wuz teelin' mighty mean. 1 tell yel Bu
Kizzy's Aunt Marian come an carried he
ter her house ter spend a week, an 1 wa
awful lonesome, an so druv over te
town ter tb' church fair. I'd got ter b
purity much nv a sussiety chap by TIN
time, an blacked my boots an keI
shaved all the time.
1,Sister Fanny was the-e, an she IN
troduced me ter Mis- Virginney Pepper
the snnartest wilder IN the town, sh
said. but not the youngest by any means
IL she was dressed like q sixteen year oil
gal. I didn't TUX nc fancy TO 'er, bu
she stuck closer ter me n burr, an al
lowed I must be awful lonesome, wit
nobody keepin' house far me but hires
gal; an I oughter have a good caPabl
hoasekeeper, with a lot nv experiences
Then she wanted me to let FER fix N
things fur me ROM the house fur awhile
an show me how eOmfortable-hke sh
could make it FUR a tired man to com
home to every evening. 1t beats al
natur', but that wilder Just got me- te
say she might try it awhile, at SO e
month.
'sWan, she made 'er appearance tn
next mornin' an wuz Jest ez sweet an
honeyfied ez a woman could be- Sh
did get up things fine, I admit, an he
frizzes, an bangs, an dnger-Eings wa
stunnin'. But she seemed 60 tux to M
that I kept outer tn way ez much q
possible. 'Tain't no sorter use though
when a woman is right in Tia house. an
we've got ter meet 'er three times day
Mis- Pepper she knoWed what she wa
about, an I knowed, too, but she wa
too much fur me.
Wimpaey sighed deeply, aud thei