Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-03-25
JACK,
His Account of Himself, and His Opinion
of Cats, Etc.

not say only OOS. NO, luuccu.
leave such remarks for the half-starved
black-and-tan terrier that sometimes
comes to play with me.
Why SHOULD I say it? I am fine
bird-dog, worth considerable, have
been stolen, and, in fact, have had
great many adventures because of my
| value. Then 1 am handsome. You
needn't think because l tell it that l
am vain. No, l lam only honest enough
to say outright what you human beings
all think. Else why do you fill your
house with mirrors, look at yourselves
SO much, then say: "Oh, whenever I
see any thing homely l just shut my
eyes and look at the Clouds
also like cats. At least, I like our
cat. But what is he good for? He is
SO lazy and aristocratic. All he does is
to come down to breakfast somewhere
between eleven and twelve, then he
goes back upstairs again and sleeps all
the afternoon; takes his tea when the
milkman comes, and as he is gone till
two or three in the morning, l suppose
attends-or possibly helps give-the
nightly concerts that occur in our
neighborhood.
Oh! how l do love to bark at those
cats. But about nine my mistress says:
'Jack, Jack! It's time to come in,
and as l can't climb tree and crawl in
by the back window, as the cat does, |
have to obey.
/ not only like to bark at cats, but at
people. But much as you people think
you know. you do not seem to be aware
that l have different kinds of barks.
Some are respectful; others-well, you
should just hear me bark at the
''preps'' or the little boys that laugh
and throw stones at me. / should like
to bite some of them, but they are SO
very dirty, often, that don't, and
then l am deacon's dog and it
wouldn't look well.
When college professor goes by l
bark, but it is only to show how much
| admire his plug hat and respect his
learning.
l do not like the ''sophs." They
think they know more than they do.
But they are really pretty good judges
of the dainty little canes they swing so
iauntily. and their smiles are irresist-
ible-to the girls. However, there is
one of them | don't hate. Because
last spring term there was young
lady coming to our house that this
"soph'' was quite devoted to. SO one
day just before she came he went by,
saw me in the yard. called me to him
and petted me. He even did not scOld
when | put my dirty paws on his
clothes simply to show how honored |
felt at his noticing me. l suppose he
was afraid | might bark too loudly
some evening when he came to call.
l am afraid YOU will begin to think l
spend all my time philosophizing, but
don't. No. | am true American, and
| work occasionally-when | can't help
it. My little master has taught me
how to draw sled or wagon. He
helps in his fathers store, and when
they are very busy We help deliver
goods.
They harnessed me up the other day
to draw a load. The weather was bot.
l was tired. my master was cross, and
l wanted to stay in the shade and eat
flies instead of working. Finally l
|
turned toward home and then stopped.
l wanted to ride. l couldn't t. see why
dog shouldn't ride sometimes as well
as boy. So stopped. Well, at last
my master comprehended what want
ed, embarrassed me, told me to get in
and drew ME to the store. Oh! l rode
down in fine style; my head up, my
tail flying and my horse making good
time.
The next day it was hot again; SO
when it was time to go to the store l
went out in the backyard and lay I'M
der an apple-tree till they were gone.
Then came around in front, scratched
up lot of good-for-nothing pansies
that grew in the incest. shadiest place
in the whole yard. Oh! had good
time then. The dirt was so soft and
cool, the flies had not found me, and l
was thinking of how pleasant it was to
| live, when the owner of the flower-bed
came out. l started, but not quick
enough, for she boxed my ears and
scolded. me awfully. And now they
have put back the old pansies and stuck
lot of horrid little sticks in the bed
that l can neither scratch up nor lie
down on. What do they want of those
pansies, anyhow? They can't draw
wagon nor keep burglars out at night.
However, don t always do that either,
for the other night one got in upstairs
| in the front room when l was down.
stairs in back room, and yet in the
morning they sail: "Where was
jack" Now. you see, if they would
only let me stop out nights as want
| to. l would have seen the man and
kept him away. My paw is getting
tired of writing, and as am only six
years old | think this is rather long
letter for ME to write. So l will 60 and
see whose yellow cat that was that just
went in the barn. Ever yours,
JACK CADY.
n Y Tribune