Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1886-07-31
LEONE LOCAL CHAT.

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In the promenade business have some
consideration for pedestrians who are
IN other branches that call for little
more haste; and recognize the advi
Stability of giving them the right Of
way; but you have all seen, and
met, and followed the numerous trio
OF three, whose affectionate display
of linked arms would be beautiful to
behold-out on the Prairies. You
have followed them square or two,
at their take-it-easy gait, watching
for loop hole of escape, sampling in
the meanwhile, their bustles, back
hair, and conversation latter is
generally of sort that increases your
uneasiness, and you make last DIES.
perate effort to get by !; turn to right
OF them, there is the street canal
wheel to the left and you are tripped
up over the feet of somebody who is
watching the procession; try again.
and like as not you knock up against
someone coming in the other direc-
ton forcing their way past, by this
time you have elevated your moral
and mental temperature to such a
degree that the weather is no circum-
stance in comparison. If you are a
woman not over crowded with saving
grace, you will desire very earnestly
that you might only dare, to use
some emphatic birthstone words. A
man shuts his teeth tight together,
and whispers to himself with breath
so Indignant it would knock you over
if you were conscious of its force,
bless the blessed Wo-
men," and he strikes out thro' the
middle of the street, across to the
other side. Girls of the aforemen-
toned trio sort, this is a free country,
no edict of this corporation was franz
ed to cover SO much ground as you
do, the municipal sanhedrim never
thought of your starting up such a
contingency, and there is no belt
enacteds to prevent you from per-
sonating linked sweetness long drawn
out, from doorway to curbstone. You
are generally lovely and your inten-
tions are perfectly harmless, but you
are decidedly unpopular with your
fellowmen and women, who somehow
labor under the delusion that the
sidewalks ought to be kept an open
thoroughfare, and all marching done
in the middle of the street.
The game of base ball played Tues
day between the Hancock and Mar
clubs, was lively and enthu-
siastic. The Martinsburg boys were
confused and excited because of the
large audience, and come out with
largely increased innings of expert
ence as to thumps, and curved balls,
and great big o.
Did you hear the song that the base
ball sang? Oh you incident look in
credulous if there are sermons in
stones why not music in a ball [what
would ball be without music, any
howl
Well, as 1 was going to remark, I
dident get out to the grounds to see
the battle, and assist in tanning the
and bruised knights of the
round article; but had an interview
with one of the balls used on the
field of honor, for base purposes,
and, greatly to my establishment, it
hummed this little song.
Sing, Hey! it's only me
With no sort of pedigree,
But I call for wicked
Language right away,
When take them unawares,
The air is full of swears.
Sing, Hey! d'you Martinsburgers
Want to play?
Sing, Hey! how swift and handy,
struck out for Andy,
And knocked the wind from
Out his diaphragm.
A man has to be famed
When / strike him contraband,
Sing, Hey! the small round
Base ball that Lam.
xx*
That tour dearly beloved City
Band" is rather a good looking ar
rangement, is a recognized fact, and
some of the members, if put on their
word of honor, would doubt
less plead guilty to harboring well
defined affirmative as to their per-
sonal handsomeness but its awful
warm weather to pelt them with
taffy. Now something like "Chew
City Band Tobacco" is more to the
point, this is likely to be extended
indefinitely to indiscriminate objects,
such as Carry City Band Time. Drink
City Band Tonic, Eat City Band
meat, ad infinitum. They gave a
very good concert Tuesday evening,
and are always well patronized and
appreciated.
*x*
The Catholic picnic was the largest
given from this point, this season.
One thousand tickets were sold at the
depot here, by noon; and attendance
from Winchester and other points,
was as large in comparison, and
everybody had a good time.
1t is stated on reliable authority
that the Hon. Frank Waters intends
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