Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-06
BRIGHT BITS.

Young Clerk to His Employer-Sir. there's
a lady wishes to speak to gu.
Emplo er-Good looking?
tlerk-1es, SIR.
Employer,on returning to the ofice-A nice
Judge OF beauty you are | must say.
Clerk-lou see sr, didn't know but what
the lady might be your wife.
EmplOyer-SO she is.-Chfc050 Wears.
A PLAYHOUSE has just been finished on the
vanderbilt lawn at Newport for the trilion-
ares juvenies-a real little house, with a
kitchen 10 1t, and piazza, with bronZed
babies helping to.Ipid Up the pillar. Unjust
be greaefu TO pay in That house. most rs
much fun as it wa3 to have rraken dishes out
in corner of the orchard when one was
little girl ones self!-Letter in Chic1go Netos.
A WISE PLAS-=Mrs. stlllpoor-And 30 you
really all TO morrow for Europe, Mira New
lYrich?
Mrs. Newlyrich-Yes; everything is all
ready.
Mrs. stlpoor-Has your husband obtained
Mrs. Newt rich-Oh, we .shan't ask for
credit. JohlexW eSss to ayicassh down for
every thing. "-Ha per's Bdsar.
ALAME BxdtsE1Cel. wGGets poot.is we'll
ners to whlcnIe fnFItes his frientIs.' One day
he said to GilhOoly: ~ wish you would cJme
and Nv a bne5 With meg 10 La fer
"Well. say two weeks fromsto- day"
I'm sorry can't come on that day, for
Eve got an engagement TO attend the funeral
ola dear nd.'-ie1as Strings.
A LAWYER up IN the country was called to
defend Mexican for some serious crime, and
ne got him off. "Wnat fee did you get?"
somebody asked him.
well the fellow was very grateful-very
grateful. After the trial he came to me and
he emptied MS pockets. He had 800 and
watch and jack knife"
And You"
Il took the '21 and the watch. gave him
back the jack-knlfe. You didn't expect me
r fellow. 71J
Appedl
\ CoUNTRYMAN ed INTO the Petroleum
Exchange and watched the proceedings with
great interest. What are they don'?' he
inquired OF Frank Tack.
Buying and selling oil )" replied Mr.. Tack,
indignantly.
What's oil worth?'
"SIXty- five cents a barrel >"
~ hatr whispered the countryman, with
suppressed excitement. -"only 65 cents? You
can buy me all yTTp pspn 81 muster. the barrels
alone II fetch Epn6efla tbabg'rPaob.
Here AT IS sE4 3ss, ne m5s3nibb, cried.
wv no SAYS ten yeats gohe died;
lie gives The name OF Andrew hong"
AtOUcea man sprang from his seat,
Aud Wavcd hls arms and stamped his feet
Then wept amid the motley Lhrong.
"Oh, Auurew-Andrew Long | saw;
Why did YOU leave this world, | pray?'
Then 20 the audience quoth he:
ION. pardon me! cannot hide
My grief. Had Andrew Long not died,
Then my wife now would his wife be-"
-R1m6ler.
my. N.Y." remarked grandma, as she took
of her glasses and laid down her paper, at
do beat all"
"Wat is it, gran ma?'' asked Fred.
"Why, was just reading an extract from
the Japan Mail that the United States Minis
ter there, Gen. Wilson, Mr.. Mansfield, Secre-
tary of Legation, and party had gone to see
the NIkadO.'
There's nothing strange in that gran ma
An Contraire, il Is quite the u-ual thing"
"Well, think it is remark able when a light
slushv opera like that spreads all over Great
Hritain and he United States and then goes
away OF yonder to Japan. and hlgh officials
and everybody go to see it," ana the old lady