Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1885-1890, 1886-12-11
Your admirer
and Humble Serv't t..

cOnVenlent,l
Your admirer
and Humble Serv't.
CT. N.
For a brief moment. surprise oyerpoW-
cred me. but calm judgment soon inter
vened and | saw at once that duty demand
ed an effort on my part to rescue from a
horrible fate a bright, ambitious, but mis-
guided youth. A DiXon's graphite and
yard of paper were Immediately called
into requisition and to G. |. NJ. was the
following written:
DEAR G. l. NJ
Your note Of the 10th inst, informs me
of your mistaken ambition and rash desire
Be warned while yet the warm blood Of
impulsiVe youth courses in your veins!
Don't do it. that is, don't ever even try to
write story unless you can depend to
dead certainty on the early demise Of a
maiden aunt who will constitute you sole
heir to fortune. In such an event the
requirement OF a fortune will turn the
course of your ambition into other channels.
Let me beseech you not to blast your llfe's
happiness with any such delusion, for in
days to come you will discover your sad
mistake when, alas too late! When early
silver hairs will steal in among the vigor-
Gus. like a defeated candidate after cleo
ton into a bar-room. When as you be
come sensitive to the meaning of peoples
every day actions you will have discovered
that your approach toward knot Of peo-
pie viii be the signal for discontinuance
Of conversation.
Whom the blltahae holds ynnr sere,i-l
monthly allowances of meat III one hand
till your silver in the other re-awakens the
action Of his blooded handed mechanism.
When the cigar and tobacco dealer. who
sees you approaching from afar rigorous
IL applies t2se tea+her duster to his mar
cotic merchandise and as you enter is
studiously engaged in Strengthening up
that significant legend ''NO TRUST
When the festive cowboy undisguisedly
scorns you with bowlegged sneers, know
ing that though busted, you are 10 bron
cho buster. When the groceryman
hands you over the counter candles in re-
turn for your last and lonesome quarter
and then with wink at the Woodsawyer |
in the corner tiippantly refers to the au-
thor's midnight oil. When the landlady
takes savage satisfaction in referring to !
your MSS as litter and warns. her freckle
faced daughter against such worthless
things as them writer's" When the pie
bald cayuse fears lest you should describe
his calico appearance in some tale of law
lessness. When even the dogs slun YOU
afraid that you may quote 'curs Of low
degree" against them. When the editor
jabs punctuation marks clean through
your copy and the typos make sport of
your big words. When the fairest flowers
Of your rhetorical climax are so crushed
and demoraiized that you can't tell them
from funeral notice in Sanscrit. When
the very word which exactly expressed
your meaning and was written most |
plainly comes out in print transposed and
'idiculous. When with your hand upon
your heart you can honestly and conf
IDENTIFY assure yourself that the above and
many more as yet untold trials can be
9orne by you with heroic equanimity then
out Of the fullness of your en-
husiasm on your first story, utterly dis
egarding, place, plot or punctuation. You
ay you are young; that's one point in :
our favor, before this reaches you, some
ther and more remunerative ambition .
nay have occurred to YOU You are
'oor; another fortunate circumstance on D
our side, for unless you are much en-
mored OF poverty, story writing will :
oon show you that condition in its most Q
ttenuated form. considerable imagina- q
on" Good! Apply your imaginative te
overs to some scheme. The ameliora- 81
on of the morals of story writer's, for n
lstance, give your fancy full play upon n
le charitable instincts Of benevolent, old q
Idies, secure the treasurership and then Oh
1me to me for further advice. "a fair
llcation;'' very handy thing to have, get c