Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-07-13
SCNBEAM 9.

pox.
A political expounder is the cha
who nails campaign lies.
The Salvation Army is gradual
taking possession of all the jails in tn
country.
Love is passion which frequent
comes we know not how, and it quit
| us just in the same manner.
1t don't matter how much beneyc
lence a man processes, unless he put
ashes on his sidewalk in icy weather
"All men are born free and equal,
but the difficulty is that some are Dor
equal to half a dozen others.
When man dies in the Societ
Islands they paint his body, but ii
this country his character is the thin
that is trescoed.
Bergh objects to people drownin,
dogs in the Croton aqueduct. He i
right. Very frequently the water il
the Croton aqueduct is not fit for
dog.
A recent song has the following re.
fraln; "Oh, hug me closer, close
still OF course there are frequen
rests to give fellow a chance to CON-
ply.
DR.. Hammond predicts that thou
sand years hence all persons will be-
bald, and yet some folks think Nor
monisn is already grasping tor breath
Nurse Ito young husband)-"I am
glad to announce, sir, that you have a
beautiful bouncing son." "Younc
husband (excited)-"Er-boy or g
girl"
"And how old are you, my little
man 2" said the school trustee, ad-
dressing little five year-old. .rn
not old at all. I'm nearly new :" wa:
the response.
She-"So you are writing a novel -
He-"Yes." She -"Ahd what will il
contain" Hc-"Four divorced wo.
men and a society scandal" She
won't that be lovely p
The clergy, you may have noticed,
are much more forcibly reminded OF
the uncertainty of life" when a mil.
lionaire dies suddenly than when q
poor man drops dead.
Husband Gokinglyl-"Oh, I'm the
mainstay OF the family" Wife
"Yes, and the jib boom, and the and
the" Small Boo from experienced
the spanker, too, mamma
Sam Jones says; "The truth flows
from good man like molasses from a
Jug" Poor Tom Ocheltree's got cold,
If we may judge by the way the mo-
lasses oftruth flows from him.
A personal in the New York Herald
says: "Chloe-Come back. Fritz
and the dog are waiting for you" II
Chloe is wise she will not come back
unless she wants trip to Paris.
A little girl was seated at the table
gentleman with waxed
mustache. After gazing at him for
several minutes, she exclaimed: My
kitty has got smellers, too ~
A clergyman who married four cou-
pies in one hour the other evening re-
marked to friend that it was pretty
fast work" mot very" responded
his friend; "only tour knots an hour"
Wife before lions cage to husband
What would you say ii the bars
were to suddenly break and the lion to
eat me up?" Husband (drily)-''I
should say he had good appetite"
Teacher-"Now, Klaus, if | say the
father blessed his six children, is that
active or passive?" "That is active. -
Correct; and what is passiye?" The
father was blessed with six children. ~
Mamma-"Do you know the ten
commandments, my dear" Little
Bess-"Yes, mamma well, re-
peat them" II can't mamma.
don't know them by heart. only
know them when | see them"
There is something extremely wrong
in a fashion that makes lady at ball
carry long, useless trail Of a dress in
her hand when she is actually needing
to cover the nakedness oil
her shoulders.
You may say what you will about
pictures of establishment, but you just
ought to see frog Try 10 Jump into a
pool of water that is frozen over. He
don't say much, but what he does say
can't be relied upon.
Yes" said Alderman Masterson,
President Cleveland treated me with
consideration when l
called at the White House" "indeed :;
how so?" why, he told Dan Lamont
not to set the dog on me-
The man who thaws himself out
with Tom and Jerry when the Their
mometer is hugging the zero notch,
Brother Beecher says is better citi-
zen than the prohibitionist who goes
% bed cold and shoves his wife's feet
out of their warm place.
Mrs. Guffy was the guest o. Mrs.
ioodsell. One morning Mrs Goodsell
saw Mrs. Gutfy using the wrong tooth |
brush. BLESS me, Mrs. Gutfy, you
are using my toothbrush Am I?l
Wal, now, you'll excuse me; II
bought it was the chambernlaid's."
"What nonsense!' exclaimed Ber-
ha. THE idea of telling Mrs. Brown
hat you were only twenty-three?"
But didn't do right, dear" replied
Edith. You know mamma has all
ways taught US not to exaggerate. It'll
5 better to understate than to over
tate, you know"
Bagley-"Excuse me, but l must
cave you" De Guy-"What is your
lurry!" Bagley-"The bells arel
,alling me to church, and /" Des
iuy OBTAINING HIM See here, you
re going to be taken in as was last
The plainest lot of girls ! |
:ver saw-not a single belle amongl
hem"