Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-04-01
HERE AND THERE.

company arc WoHiep.t
1t has been discovered that Mary An.
derson drinks beer. Sad, indeed She
began by chewing gum.
A Bridgeport, Conn, woman took a
pair of No. shoes because they didn't
cost no more than them little 3's."
You ask what an "open secret is.
Well, my son, an open secret is one
that woman swears she won't tell
Young men who play on the flute or
clarionct in Santa Barbara, Cal, are
ruthlcssly fined by the local authorities.
Probably all the talk about Mr..
Edison's going for new photograph
arose from the fact that Thomas Alva
is about to take wife.
An Anglomaniac, says The San Fran
cisco Alta, is an American who carries
his umbrella in San Francisco when tho
cable announces rain in London.
It's an awful pity that foolish senti-
mcnt prevents young ladies giving their
gentlemen friends mittens in winter.
Gloves are such pesky cold things.
A lady advertised in one of the New
York papers day or two ago for a pair
of opera-glasses lost in fashionable
church on Fifth avenue the previous
Sunday.
Connecticut has been in the habit OF
paying$2OO to every newspaper report.
CT that wrote up the proceedings OF
the legislature. Sometimes more thar
twenty men would receive their pay in
one session.
Dear mc'' exclaimed rcd-haired
girl to her brother. 81 sec that bonnets
are now made of paper. What next, J
wonderP' "Well, sis, if you put one
on l think contlagration would come
next"
Visitor of the dime museum to the
little girl who takes the cash: ave
have made II bet, and we want you to
settle it. Is the bearded lady your
mother or your aunt?" The little girl
Your are oil wrong. She's my father. "
Some one claims to have found oul
that the bushcl Of corn which the dis
ilery buys for 80 cents is eventual,
sold to the drinkers for $1,000. Times
may be hard, but the gentle distilel
manages to make his little profit every
| time.
Az ell-known lady of Macon has
curious superstition. Upon entering
room for the first time she stands it,
the center and bows to each corner
| She declares that this exhibition of DO
likeness is intended to propitiato tn,
| spirits.
''Do you understand carving?" asked
the landlady Of the new boarder, be
fore whom she had placed the allcgca
spring chicken. Eyes IN, | was wood
chopper when l was boy. Bring OIL
your AK, ma'am, and I'll do the best
can, he chccrfully replied
The queen of Italy has recently pre-
sented to the Roman museum neck
lace in silver gilt, bracelet in massiv,
gold, four hundred grammcs in weigh,
| pOlh "a lIoul lHc SIluu OI Ief
STA to her majesty, and also series o.
| plates repsenting the costumes of Boil.
via. given to her by the Italian minister
ut Lima.
Gu.lda La Chappcllc, the pedestrian
now keeping saloon in San Francisco
! thinks she can walk away from Mis-
Kate Brown, of England, who desires I,
walk against any lady pedestrian in tn,
United States for $500 or $1,000 a side
Guilda requires Kate to visit San Fran
cisco as an acceptance of the latter,
challenge.
Judge Peterby said to his colorel
servant! You will have to quit. Yor
attend to your work very well, but II
always missing things about the house
and every time it is you who take.
them" Boss, don't send me off o.
dat account. Hit mus b. comfort te,
yer, when yer missing anything,
know where it am
A balky horse in Philadelphia the
other day was proof against all ordina
ny methods of persuasion, until
little man smoking a big pipe came
along. Just us soon rs the man eapt
ed the burning tobacco and hot ashc,
from his pipe into the horses ear, til,
horse went tearing up the street as ii
he never intended to I, TOP again.
A Poser-Wafiles: Capital speech
sir, that of the bishop of London OF
temperance. I-er-am glad to see tn.
church taking up the question. 1t has
a most excellent example to point to in
the case of Adam, who, so far as we
know, was water drinkcr, and in con.
sequence lived $50 years. Battles
"Oh, quite so-quite so. But what
about Noah, who liked his wine, and
lived $50. ycars?"
Ollie, who has been a naughty boy
has just finished his evening prayer
when mamma says: "Are you no,
going to ask God to forgive you?" 90
yes, s'pose so. Please, God, forgiv,
me for being bad boy, and forgive M,
mamma, too, for being very wicked "a
long breath while ne tries to brin.
some evidence of his sertion-then an
inspiration for she killed a fly, Lord
that you made!'
Some unfecling ornitholog;st in
Dighton experimental on 'yellow
hammer" or golden winged wood.
pecker, by reaching into the hole and
robbing her nest every day of all but
one egg. The poor bird, determined to
raise a brood, kept on laying until she
bad laid thirty-six eggs on as many diff.
ferent DAYS, then She rested one day
and went at it again, and finally she
actually laid seventy-one eggs in tina,
Enthusiastically nest.
Pierre Solidor Milon. who was o.
years old last November, claims to bt
one of the seven survivors of the wars
of the first Napoleon His papers show
that he enlisted in 1906, was in the
French army for ten years and min,
| tl.a L., Al