The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-03-10
At THE POST.OFFICE.
6omo Of the Trials and Trtbulati0ns
the Retail Stamp Clerk.

Auc average ingenuity OF the human
family" said q retail stamp clerk at
the post-ofice, must be very small.
Why, there is not one person in five
hundred who has gumpton enough to
put stamp on letter. / see the pro-
cess gone through with about a thou
sand times day, and I ought to know.
All the people at my window begin by
putting the stamps into their mouths,
closing their mouths, rolling their eyes
like a man trying to swallow pill
and moving the stamps around in their
mouths until they are perfectly sat
urated with saliva. Then they lay
them on the corner of their envelopes
and bring their clenched fists down on
them like a pile-driver. Then comes
the profanity. See here, clerk, they
say, this stamp is no account. Won't
you please put little mucilage on it..
So strange that they can't put enough
mucilage on the stamps to make them
stick Now, the trouble is that these
people lick and chew all the gum of
the stamp before they try to affix it;
and II the gum were an inch thick, it
would meet with the same fate. The
way to put a stamp on is to moisten
the gum very slightly, and then
lay it on the envelope, and with the
end of the forefinger slip it back and
forwards once or twice until the saliva
and the gum are mixed. Ihaye been
licking stamps for forty years, but
have never yet met with one which
would not adhere, if it was treated in
this way. Another thing people like
to kick aboutis the refusal of the clerks
to take torn notes and great piles Of
nickels and pennies in payment foz
stamps" III,
"Are they not bound to take themp''
mot much. The Government has a
treasury for the redemption of mutt
lated currency, and there is no more
sense in expecting the post-office to re-
deem it than in expecting the paymas-
ter of the navy in doing SO. If it was
once understood that we would take
torn bills, we should have no other
money to handle and nothing else to
do. We would embark in the banking
business, and somebody else would
have to be hired to attend to the post.
office. Then, as to nickels. three-cent
pieces and pennies, the post-office reg.
ulations expressly provide that we are
not bound to take over twenty-five
cents worth from one person. But
they keep bringing them to use in
large quantities, sometimes rolled up
in paper and sometimes slung in an old
handkerchief. 1t is all in vain, how
ever. Then, how they do kick against
telling what is in their package and
against directing them before they are
weighed"
whats the use of thatp"
"Why, all the use in the world. L
we didn' exercise any supervision ovel
what was put into the mails, every bag
full of mail that left here would b
soiled with nasty ointment or hair oil
even if the post-office were not blown
up with some explosive. Now, we DE-
not require people to tell us exactly
what they have got in their parcels
but only its general character, such as
dry goods, leather, wearing appare
and so on, but they stick like blazes
even against that. Then, as to ad
dressing their letters and parcels be
fore they bring them to us to b.
weighed, that also is indispensable, il
order to avoid giving misleading infor
nation. We sometimes weigh some
thing in an unsealed envelope, ant
tell the postage, on the theory that i
is unsealed. Then the man goes of
puts that amount of postage ON it, ant
seals it, thereby doubling the rate. Tn
consequence is that his letter is re
turned to him for want of sufficien
postage. Then he goes to the postmast
or and bowls; and swears that he pu
exactly the amount Of postage on tn
letter that we told him to put on il
Again, we weigh parcel of merchan
disc that is not directed, and sell tn
man the stamps forit. We ask where it i
going, but the man il sullen and make
some answer that we do not catch. w
take it for granted it is going to som
place in the United States. But b
goes off and directs it to Belgium.
gets stopped and returned to him Q
course. as no merchandise can be sen
by mail to any place outside of th
United States. Their the man goes {
the postmaster and nowls, and say
that we expressly told him that tn
parcel could 60 to Belgium. SeeP
"Have you seen the Annual Posts
Guide for 1886, just outp 1t announce
some rather interesting changes in post
al rates."
what are theyp"
Zone relates to photographs. Yo
would be surprised If you knew what
large percentage of the mail matte
weighed by us is photographs. Here
tofore a strange anomaly has existe
in the postage on them. We have bee
charging cent an ounce for ther
when sent to any place in this country
and only a cent for every two ounce
when sent abroad; that is to say,
cost two cents to send two ounces {
photographs, unsealed to the West sid
of the city, and one cent to send tn
same package to Turkey, India an
Arabia. Now, however, photograph
are ruled by the department to
4 printed matter, and they 60, when ur
sealed, all over the civilized world
nearly, at the rate of two ounces, or
fraction thereof, for two cents"
"What else has been changed"
"Some changes have been made i
the rulings concerning unavailable ma
ter. The rule has been, for lon
| time that candy and cake could mt I