The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1886-11-27
end in rosewood coffin and frst-class
country funeral"

country funeral.
aStop that. professor, will you ?"
aWhile YOU are still handsome man,
with lust enough gray in your whiskers to
make YOU look interesting. No doubt YOU
have been thinking of some nice young
Girl of eighteen who. would Jump at the
chance to marry YOUR thirty COWS and
twenty acres of hons. u
professor. I won stay here if YOU don't
let up on that
mAnd vour wife does not look well in
that new Watertown wagon. SO Won take
your hired man and neighbor's girls to
meeting Your wife never GOES anywhere
so you do not get her a watch. like. your
own. nor a silk dress. nor a pony that she
could drive. nor basket pbaeton that she
could climb into without a ladder. She
never saws anvtbing is always yerv ouiet
so vou have not cot her a set of teeth like
YOUR own gold and rubber, and she has to
oum it until her nose is pushed up into her
forehead. and her face wrinkles like a
burned boot. She never goes out, SO she
does not dive her hair as Won do yours but
Il looks ike a milk-weed nod gone to seed.
She has to work in the kitchen, so she gets
no nice toothpiek shoes ike yours. but goes
tbnmn;no aronnd Ike sheen in a drv-
Goods box
uDarn INV skin if 7 don't"
aNo you won't; YOU will lust let her work
riobt along and then YOU will marry some
b;gb- Aver who will mil every hair ont of
vonr bead and serve Won r;obt too
uprofessor for mercv,s ssta do ston
aWben Won tnow and Lnow that If
vour wife had chance tn rest and had
n;oa olotboo I;ko other woman sbe wopld
he % one Of the bandsomest women in the
town y
T at .won bol;ove ;tn
uAnd old as She ;s If Won wera to oet
49,. 1 .Lo onrr;a.o U,u ~ 81 uaSt ~ syuJor and dr;Se
oronmd aO NJ nth tbo colts and IN ber Won
a,uunJ no"4od W. go - ~a Wv ooot;na [ w With Won sbe
,"a',J mauISU I'll e' IL Sl,sb T;t5 nl"asnrsH
"VIG "DarnoJ | e don't do i +
aThan Monday # Won were 70 tell her
.b,t Won Eara nc;na 70 b;re OWL and that
Sh ina 80. yU% 80 H. s;tt;nn roon7 h2 tbo now
81 ;ol,in T. IL rIotaS I - ooai stnvo and wort ON that
nn,r e III T., To,, ora ao;na ~ brv ber ;.
'@ &c. S I t5s3,s me
aAnd then hand her a piekle wallet with
stool cIasns and with five nice twentv.dol-
lar notes in # LET her do her own trading
after this because vor, have eot tired LOOK,
inc after 60 mucb monev-''
1T Nil os suro 90 i've
uAnd then when the tears start in her
eves and tbe same old blusb comes ont that
Won tbougbt was So nice when Won went ON
ibe teeter to Albany if Won would lust kiss
her
dts all riobt professor"
aThen NV friend. I would begin to think
she had made something BY marrying a
rich man
s.You're right, old man"
aThen | think YOU would no longer have
a miserable wife. Then you would no Ion
ger want to rent or sell the farm, but would
be showing the mother of your children
how much YOU respected her for her life
of devotion. Then she would know that
she was a partner in that thirty thousand
dollars Then, if YOU made your will all
riobt and she had a good rest, 1 think she
would sometimes be an Al eligible widow
"Tbink so. professor?"
T know il Woman is a plant that
wants sunshine You have been leaving
vonr wife in the shade too much. She has
ost hor oolnr Sho hos GIVEN mn all hone
Of off, admirat;on and love, and IS onfy waiting
70 die and oct ont of the way Suppose
Won were treated So ?n
@Wbat me9 am all RIGHT"
dyes + know Women pitv YOU for
won are tied to sucb n sorrv-Iooki1g wife,
Foolish old maids and silly girls whisper
behind YOUR back what nies-looking man
Won are and what n stick of a wife YOU
have and YOU are lust soft enough to wear
.:aht hootS ond III wbot GttIo hair Won
around fourinp nn how long before YOUR
w;fe will Die
I,e, e H.. =;