The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-08-20
BLOOMSBURY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA
ODD

A life preserver-A good doctor.
A loan hand--The pawpbroker's
"A nice place to sit---on an iceberg
Did you ever see walking match ?
A shocking affair-A galvanic bat
terry.
Sword fish steaks please the Nantuck-
eters
Did you ever see bald-headed wo.
man?
Cotton factories are increasing down
South.
Europeans do not drink ice water at
meals.
The popular diamond just now is
salt-air.
White English sparrows are TO be
seen about Maple Rapids.
The season for bashful lovers-When
they don't have to break the ice.
An advertisement in live paper is
of great assistance to a dentist. 1t
"draws" for him.
He who is the most slow in making
promise is the most faithful in the
performance of it.
Mrs. Folsom thinks that the Presi-
dent works too hard. The poor, dear
girl needs change.
A letter directed "Brass Door" Cape
Breton, arrived at its place of destina.
tion, Brass dor, G. b.
The dentist is not generally saw
age person, and yet he is frequently
found grinding his teeth.
Southern people who are suffering
from a scarcity of money are described
as "one-gallused persons" :"
Two policeman were recently dis
charged in Cincinnati because they
could neither read nor write.
Canada charges 40 cents for every
bushel of peaches that enters that
country from the United States.
"Oh what bird is that l have Just
joined the Audubon Society, and am
20 interested in bird calls" That's
our goat
China and Japan buy our dried
apples freely. Thus does American in
dustry help to swell the population Of
the Orient.
"Swooper,' asked Niggler, "who are
these Knights of Malta we read alb out?'
"Must be some organization of brew
ers,' replied Swooper.
"It's very curious" says a young
lady whom we know, "that the tortoise
from whom we get all our tortoise
shell combs, has no hair
The fruit growers of Harrison coun.
ty, Ind, are compelled to shake the
apples from the trees in order to pre-
vent the limbs from breaking.
Credi,or-"Can you let me have my
little bill 7" Debtor-"Certainly, bu,
don't destroy it. l may want to pay
something on it in the future"
A municipal candidate, whose princi
pal supporters are tavern keepers and
shoemakers, proudly alludes to then
as members of the bench and bar.
Texas Sittings wants to know the
name of the goldsmith who made the
welkin ring. The same jeweler, per
haps, who set the table IN a roar.-N
Y. Journal.
Since the merchant tailors of Pitts
burg published Il black list old bills arr
being paid up rapidly, and new one
are not alloweo to accumulate as rapid
ly as formerly.
The following notice is posted con
spicuously III an Office: "Shut this
door and as soon as you have done
talking on business serve your moutl
in the same way"
We don't wish to be understood a,
finding fault with nature, but we d.
wish from the bottom of our hearts
that the luminous end of the firehy hat
Deen htched to the mosquito.
A New York lawyer fell on tn,
street from weakness of starvation tn,
other day. Wonders will never cease
Now, if it had been one of his client
we shouldn't have been bit surprised
In Louisiana there are las children
born each year to every thousand wo
men of child-bearing aye, 156 in Geor
gia and lS7 in Texas. In New Eng
land the rate is 50 in the West abou
122.
The lava beds about Oroville, Cal.
are being utilized for agricultural pur
poses. A local paper says they ar
: rapidly being turned into little orchard
, vineyards and gardens, and comfort
! able homes are becoming numerous
The Buffalo Eapress thinks it vic
,, lates no confidence in saying that ther
are even in Buffalo few men VIII,
: wear corsets, because, leaning owe
high desks all day long, they find tha
the corset supports the body as NJ
. other contrivance will.