Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1886-01-30
SELECTIONS.
THE BOXED EAR.

Mr.. and Mrs. Streitig were a
young married couple. They lived
in large house in Berlin, in which
there were several other families.
Once he was7 in the sitting room
awaiting her return. She returned
about 9 o'clock, and apparently in
the best of humor, for she was laugh.
| ing when she entered the room.
He.-You must have had jolly
time of it, Eliza.
She (still laughing)-I'll bet any
thing in the world you can't guess
what | am laughing about. o, it
was just too funny for anything, and
before removing her hat and cloak
she sat down in chair, and took
another hearty laugh.
ri haven't the slightest idea what
you are laughing about"
"Well, I'll tell you at once, and
relieve your curiosity. Mr.. Van
Duzen boxed his wife's ears"
at is not possible not before
every body ?"
eyes, he did. He gave her such
a box on the ear at the supper table
that some of the company covered
up their heads with napkins for fear
of being hit by the flying splinters.
1t sounded like hitting beefsteak
with the fiat side of an ak, or blow.
ing open safe. He wanted the
lamp on the right side of the table
on account of his weak eyes. She
wanted to put it on the left side of
the table, so she could the better
show off her diamonds. He pulled
the lamp over to the right, and she
pulled it back to the left. They did
that for half a dozen times until I
was afraid the lamp would explode.
All at once she grabbed up the
lamp, and sat it down in the middle
of big dish Of spinach. then she
caught it fair and square on the left
cheek. [ had to laugh at her stupid
look when he smacked her face, but
was very angry at him. for | think
that the man who strikes woman
is a miserable coward"
ooh, yes; very often he is"
every often. No, sir, the man
who strikes woman is always a
wretched coward"
"But suppose she exasperates
him beyond endurance There are
such women"
"Have you got the hardihood to
defend that brute Van Duzen for
brutally assaulting his wife -
"By no means. All say is that
there are cases where a woman
ought to be slammed against the
wall until she adheres to it,"
"By saying that there are such
cases do you want to bring about
that sort of a crisis in this family,
ell ~
"Great heavens! no, not even in
dream do want to put such a
cataclasm in motion"
"What do you mean by laughing
in that manner?"
81 am laughing at the idea of
Van Duzen cutting his wife's ears"
"He is brute and you are no
better. You men always do uphold
each other in your devilish rascal.
ity. I suppose you would like to
follow his example and box my
ears.n
"No, | would not proceed to such
extreme measures, although you do
love to quarrel sometimes"
ado you dare to intimate that,
under any circumstances, You would
box my ears ?"
"Oh, no; I'd be afraid to take any
such risks, although you are very
provoking at times"
ado you say that Liam pro.
voking-that like to dispute ?"
"My dear, be calm; don't you re-
member how you insisted this morn
ing that the actor, Hasse, is blondeg"
"And SO he is?
"But tell you that he has dark
brown hair and dark eyes 7"
"And | tell you that he is a
blonde. You are liarn she
screamed.
"All right, it's just as you say
but please don't box my ears" he
retorted.
"You needn't try any Of your
feeble sarcasm on me-"
"Once more i say you are right.
His dark hair has turned into a
beautiful old gold just because you
say SO. You could be bottled up
and sold for hair dye, you are a
source of revenue"
" If you were gentleman, which
you are not, never was. and never
will be, you would have admitted
your mistake and asked my pardon,