Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-11
BRIGHT BITS.

EAChEh-Il you were ITeSluenJ Oh q COuH-
ty fair and wanted gate-tender, what
would you do?
Pupil-Boil it.-Ddnoile Breeze.
WHAT time have you. MIR. Brown"
indeed my watch is in my other vest"
ut gets late very early now nights"
10 yes, indeed it does. "-DetrOit Free Press.
VOICE from the Head of Stalrs-Mary! has
the morning paper come yet?
Mary who has just begun saying good
by to George)-How shall / answer him, my
dear?
George-Tel him ofcourse, the paper hasn't
come yet. as we are just going to press now
Iec1S STtiH0s
A NEW ORLEANS LAWYER, in arguing a
di vorce suit, held that a husband had legal
right to make his wife stand in corner with
a clothes-pln on ner nose. IF such nd
means of compelling obedience are forbid
dem he safd, ''wnatis to become of the hus-
band's authority as master OF the householdY'
-IecaS .SiJtin0S.
THE woman who heats q kettle of water to
boil, and then sets it OF on the floor and goes
upstairs to whItewash her bedroom ceiling,
leaving the baby to sit down in the kettle. Is
always mentioned in the papers as terribly
gref-stricken at the funeral, 1t never Oc-
CURED to her that an accident could possibly
happen.-Detroit Free Press.
Row Soldiers Are Pensioned in the United
otates-"So you say you were years old at
the close Of the war;"
II beg your pardon, years ana 8 months;
that have kept on trembling ever since -
This suffces; you are entitled to pension
OF Sl22 8S."-BerLtn HIddderadatSch.
1.-THE boy came recommended for honesty"
SAID the grocer in explaining the fact that
clerk had taken $50 in cash and skipped.
by whom?'
"The Sheriff. He had him three months,
and the young man was perfectly square,
perhaps, though, he had him in jail.'
81 never thought Of that. | believe Pm
getting little absent-minded."- Vail Street
Meas.
MANAGER Ito supernumerary)-I am going
to give you a small part in the new play; do
you wish your real name on the bill or will
you use an assumed name?
Supe-I guess | will use an assumed name
M.-Very good; what shall it be2
S.-Signor VermicelH.
M.-Thats a Igh-sounding name; why do
book, did you?
SEES; and use it because am supe,
you know.-BVstosa Courier.
STUFF the school children; fill up the heads of
them;
Send them all lesson full home to the beds of
them;
Blackboard and exercise, problem and ques-
ton,
Bother their young brains and spoil their
digestion;
STUFF them with 'ologies, all they can smatter
Fill them with 'ometrles, all they can batter
at:
| Crowd them with them 'onomies, all they can
chatter at;
When they are through with the labor and
show of it,
What do they care for it, what do they know
of it?
Feed them and cram them with all sorts of
knowledges;
Rush them and push them through high
schools and colleges;
Keep the hot kettle on, boiling and frothing;
Marks count for everything, deaths count
for nothing:
Rush them and push them while they've the
will for it.;
knowledge is great, though many you kill
Pile on the taxes to pay you the bill for it;
Urge them and press them to higher ambi-
tions;
Heed not their minds or their bodies condi-
lions.
stick to the system you long have been cher
ishing.
| Careless Of those who are fading and perish
ing;
Strong meat for babes! is the ages last mot
to;
Drop the weak souls who can't learn as
| they ought to-
Feed them and fill them, no end to the wor-
| rylng;
Push them and press them. no stop to the hur-
| rying;
| Parents at home will attend to the burying;
| Strong meat for babes! is the motto of pro-
| gress;
knowledge iend is. ambition an ogress.
-Neao York Sum-