The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-05-19
PITH AND POINT.
Ahout face-Whiykers

About face-Whiskers. sl
A kite ought to be made of fly paper.
The greatest bet ever made-The al
phabet.
Goes without saying-A deaf and
dumb man.
A sailor who received a blowing-up
from bis girl calls her wind-lass. 81
A tunnel under the Irish Channel is
now talked of. The distance is twenty
two miles.
He-"Jove! I'd like to be one!" She
zone what2" He-"Census. It en-
braces II, 900, 900 women. ."-Lts.
Customer-"What have you this mora
ing?" Waitcr-''B ''Beefsteak and fish;
fish all gone. What'l you have. =
Judge. ..'[
Rev. Sam Jones has life insurance in
various companies to the extent OF $12,-t
900. All fire risks he takes himself
Free Press.
A Rondout man of small stature
gives as reason for his stunted growth
that he was brought up when baby on
condensed milk.-Kingsto7a Fireman. !,
"Too much absorbed in his business,ip
was the comment of newspaper on the
death ola brewer who was found drowned
in tank of his own beer.-French Joks.
my pa" said one small boy, 'is
preacher, and is sure to 60 to heaven"
''Huh!" said the other boy, 'that amt
nothin'. My pa is doctor, and can kill
your old a."-New York Sun.
1t is reported that theatre hat for
ladies has been invented which folds up.
Let US protest against this innovation.
What we demand now is bonnet which
will fold down.-Boston Transcript.
'sDo you believe this story told by the
police that they are NJ gambling honses
running in. Chicago?" eyes. Why
should they run? There's nothing for
them to be afraid Chicago Neaos.
A good deal is being said lately about
the ability of young wives to cook. The
ability of young husbands to provide,
them with someth NJ to c5ok ought not
to be entirely left out of the question:
Call.
A little Rochester girl drew the picture
of aoI and cat on her slate, and call
ing her mothers attention to it said: "a
cat oughtn't to have but four legs, but I
drew it with six so she could run away
from the dog"
A petrifed dog was exhumed from the
remains of a prehistoric village in
Switzerland recently. How long it had
been there scientists were unable to say,
but it is supposed to have belonged to
the sausage.-LoaoeU Citizen. i
Judge-"You attacked this gentle
man; you knocked him down and robbed
him of his watch.". Prisoner-"Your
Honor is right. But if had not taken
the initiative who can tell but that he
might have done the same thing to meP'
-Graphe.
The word salary comes from the Latin
salarium, literally salt money, from sal,
salt, which was part of the pay of Roman
soldiers. This will probably explain
why certain young ladies regard young
men who receive mcagre salaries as be-
ing entirely ''too fresh. "-Norrsstoaon
Herald.
A lady paying call brings baby
some chocolate drops. On leaving she
asks if he has eated them all. 81 kept
some of them," replied the sagacious
child. Chow considerate! You wanted
them for your little sister, no doubt"
"Oh, no! wanted them for tomorrow"
-1M-B Bits.
hree-year-old Maggie had never seen
any one who was quite bald except her
grandfather, whom she had once or twice
Visited. A gentleman called one day to
see her father, ami taking off his hat,
showed very bald head. Maggie re-
carded him wonderingly for while, and
finally venturing nearer, asked, curious
ly: lis that your hcad2'-Ha,por's
Bazar.
"You can't avoid u stroke of lightning
by dodging," says a newspaper item:
This is very long-headed statement, and
will probably cause L sensation when 1t
gets out. 1t is equally impossible to
avoid stroke of lightning by going out
the back door and telling the Office boy
to say you are off on a fishing trip and
won't be back for two weeks.-EstelJina
(Dak.) Bell.
These liveried coachmen in Boston
look extremely dignifed, sitting like
statues and holding their whips at the
most recherche angle against their knees,
but they act very much like ordinary NOR
tails, after all, when the irrevereut small
boy across the street gets bean blower
and sets out for his own satisfaction to
"fud out whether it is alive. "-Sonaer-
uils Journal.