Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-02-20
Saturday Smiles.

What is your name little gIsI? Minnie
calls me-"
They tell in Louisville of citizen of that
town who came to New York recently and
lived at one of the most expensive hotels here.
"Fifty-one dollars" said the clerk. "Guess
again." said the Kentuckian. "You haven't
sized my pile yet. I've more money than
that
Teacher-What is velocity?
Bright youth-Velocity is what man puts q
hot plate down with.
any motto is. Live and let live" said the
soldier as he turned his back to the enemy and
fled from the battlefield.
~ can give you a cold bite said the woman.
"Why not warm 1T up?' asked the tramp.
There amt any WOOD sawed" THAT so?
Well, give it to me cold"
A Kansas man is saving wood in the navy
yard at Washington. Thus the unexpected
happens. He went there for a post office COM
mission, and up to date can only say: II came,
Isaw."-Bost0n Record.
He-I see by the papers that we are to have a
new cardinal.
she-Are WEI Cardinal isn't becoming to me;
I prefer pink or blue.-Binghan.toa Republican.
Fond mother-"I think Violets voice ought
to be cultivated abroad"
Sensible father-"Anywhere would suit me,
except at home."-Puck.
Progressive jack-straws is slowly but surely
supplant1ng progressive euchre among the
elite. Progressive imOn-Says-thumbs-up will
probably be the next tireside vagary.-Peck's
The Port Jervis Gazette says that on the morn.
ing OF February 4, when the mercury was 1Oo
below zero, George Simpson started out in
search of trailing arbutus. He reports the crop
failure.
The Basis of His Sermon.-Deacon Harris:
All, parson, that was a fine sermon on the evils
OF speculation you preached this morning. 1
tell you, it went right home to number OF the
congregation. Parson Davis: I'm glad you
liked it. 1t was wholly impromptu. I had
another sermon prepared tor the morning. but
to the church / SfOnnpd tn fhap
office and got a most distressing letter from my
broker, and declare it drove all other thoughts
out OF mtnd.-Ifd6its.
"What is the proper use of Sunday?" asks a
religious weekly. The answer is SO numerous
that we haven't space to print it. The woman
with new bonnet has one answer; the man
who loves fishing has another, while the owner
Of q pair of fast horses may differ from both.
The base-ballist seems to think that the proper
game for the championship, but in the east he
devotes the day to explaining how the last foar
games lost by his nine might have been won.
There Is nothing SO diverse as the diversity OF
opinion In regar to the proper use of Sunday
NOrTistOsUn Herald.
A Harvard student who got into q quarrel on
erably the worse for it, was complaining to her
OF the rough usage he had received for her
sake.
"Oh, WE'LL" said she, at ought to console you
ion."
ny, Dedten GRASS, you KNOW, ID all the rage.
Boston Beacon.
The author OF that mysterious book, "How to
be Happy, Though Married." says 1t was a
Chicago bride who on being asked the usual
question in which the words s.Love, honor and
obey" occur, made the straight forward reply:
Eyes, will, ii he does what he promises me
financially" That's fair, certafnly.-SpTin0-
field linton.
1t Is now considered 0u revotr and bonnie
bouche for parties living in apartments to decor.
ate the walls with embroidered cards bearing
the device: "God bless our dat.'-Cnica0o
Rambler.
"What have you got?" Queried young links OF
the waiter In q State street restaurant
Everything" was the prompt reply.
"Well, I'll take q little" and links looked mr.
waiter.
'One plate Of hash," sung out that func
tionary.-ChjcQQ0 Rambler.