New-York tribune., 1886-11-14
IN NEW-YORK.
SOME SPECIMENS OF THE ABsURDITY.

Influence of the more American Clubs, such az the
Union League the Lotos and the University' mas
been directed against it so steadily and Win sncn
effect that its manifestation is now mercies'V
puved Nothing cures q weakness so quickly a'
ridicue. Among wealthy young club men, no"
ever some advanced an hopeless casos yet remain.
They have been proof AGAINST oil the H""i'' "
w;t against the ostracsm of sensible men. against
the ce ntempt of women against all the influences
usuaIlv successful in restoring mental equiliD-
rium which some absurd charge OF society mas
disturbed.
LAMMs BANK ACCOUNT
Among the most curious examples OF tine uhre-
storable Anglomaniac is % young man ABOUT Town
of the name of ANN. At least ii his name Is noe
Lamm, it may q, well be for all present purposes
lie is wealthy. college graduate and teho" OIL
real inteliigence IL his mind had. not been
wrecked by this unhappy mania. he would be an
agreeable companion socially and perhaps useful
in an honorable profession. But he is completely
given over to Anglicisms He does not often go
abroad but he keeps chambers all the while In
London. He knows nothing about American
horses or race-courses but he is perfectly inform eo
about every stable in the United kin9dom ahu
bets on the Derby and the st. Leger with singular
astuteness Ii his glib recital of heraldic sghih-
cations apd of Lord SO-aud-sos family tree irom
the main trunk to the rei)test tvig Is any sign Oh
his familiarity with the Peerage, he must have Tor
gotten more than Edmund Lodge ever knew.
Lamm is something unique in Anglomani.cs. 10
his acquaintances, matter how dull be ther
sense of humor he is constant source or fun. Ills
DOSE which represents more labor and study tuah
does his college degree. is one of his most strikng
acauisitions The letter has not more curves aou
q lizard standing on its tail would not make more
obvious effort. Among the stories told oil Lamm'
is this. which occurred last summers
An acouaintance who happened to have left his
money at home met him one night, and asked him
for the loan OF 500.
q Certainly. deah boy" answered Lamm I'm
parfectly delighted to be of sarvice to you. but
will twenty pound be enoughp
sLoads.D answered his friend with broad grin
on his face at the reference TO twenty pound"
Lamm counted out the "twenry pound" Ia ten
good American $40 bills aud handed them over.
Grve plenty of money IN bank" said the gentle
man. and, if you like. I'll just draw you check
for this" lie pulled little check-book from his
pocket such as young swells carry about with them
from which TO pay their bets and proceeded to Ill
1t out.
Lamm lazily lifted his eye-gl glasses and regarded
the operation with an air of dainty disdain.
~Deah boy" be sad q what tho deuce. yknoN
is thati"
GThisY WHY. a check-book, of course"
CAV. YES of course; but say old fellow. yor
don't mean to toll me. y'know, that you carry ii
about with yOu.T
"Why, to he sure do; who dont~
Lamm bic W the ash from his cigarette. Wales
nevah does" he said " nor l."
His friend grinned broadly. Il suppose you ant
the Prince keep bank accounts, don't your b
| presently asked.
| "Certainly.'
dwell. when you want to draw some money, bov
do you do it"
| GAS to Wales ca wn't say, yknow; but when
want.me money. call me clark. and tell him
| bring me a bit of papah He fetches the papan
y'know. and | write on 1t Pay bearer twent.
pound' and he takes it to the bank and draws th'
money. don't know where he goes, y'know, 10
of cawse q feah cawn't be expected to keep tract
of all the places where he keeps accounts"
| "a BOTTLE OF BEAH"
About a month agn another spacimen of thi
| amusing animal sat in the reception room OF tn
Union Club with some aquaintances. His nam
| was. Lumey. Some one summoned waiter AM
invited the company to partake of his hospitaity
Each gave his order and Lumley said. Bring M
q bottle of beahl" The waiter departed, an
presently returning placed before each his severa
draught He set a bottle of Milwaukee lage
|
pretty Well in front OF the dude Lumley glance
pt II q moment and Waitab" !" he said. l want
bottle of beah-take this stuff away"
The waiter picked it up looked at it. went Oh
He came back with bottle of New-York lager
set down Lu%sy PIT wRot up hi; icy teyegass snss
you waitahf / want a bottle of beah-beah
y'know. don't want this SO
| The kni ght of the cloth turned the bottle roun
and round. carefully spelling out the label 9Th The
he went Oft and consulted the steward. fresenti.
that functiOnary appeared.
q Beg pardon, sir" he said to Lumle-, but di
want so bottle thud Sd ses umev sharply
&" said beah, and want beah.'
" Pm sorry sir" replied the steward, " that W
can't seem to suit You, sir but milwaukee, AM
New-York lager are ali the beer we have, sir"
A look of ennui and intense disgust came owe
Luml'y's face. on. deah" he SAID, weara ar!
fellows are suppose, wa.tah,, in this blawste'
country you call it Bawsss aeP
ON BOARD THE sCHOOLsHIP
One of the officers on board the schoolship 81
Marys has friend of this species, who affords hir
a world of amusement. Officers on board the school
shin do not have great opportunities for entertain
ment Monkeys and dogs are not allowed on boar
and 40 about the best an officer do is occasion
ally to have friend with him. Corktop's com
pany is frequently sought therefore, by the office
of the St. Mary's But the fun Corktop furnishe
for the officers is nothing to the hilarious merrimen
which the little 3middies" get out of him. I
them he is thing of beauty and Joy forever.
Recently the St. Mary's put into Newport, and
gentleman who was spending the summer ther
went out to her In his launch to call on one OF tn
officers AS he got over the tafrail. the first thin
that met his eyes was Corktop gazing earnestly u
into the masthead. The gentleman followed Cori
tops eyes and observed poor little wretch Of
mildly, standing up there with his arms straigh
ened down at his sides, a picture of forlornness.
Hello, Corktop." said the visitor. -,
GWhy, how'd ye-dO. deah boyl Dye see thu
little fellah up there, nowf"
ayes see him. He's being punished for SOM
| thing isn't he T. =,
Pm suah cawnt say. wish 1 know. Pv
taken unite a fahncy to the little fellah, yknov
and by Jove think it's deuced hard luck he
, having. He's an awfuIly nice boy. with sue
beautiful mannah. ye know. This morning VS.
walking down the deck, and he came along. BE
pahdon SIR he said touching his cap, y'know. 'bI
will Won be good enough to tell the officers down
) 80 - W.ll he W 40 nahfectlY nolite ahout