Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1886-11-25
STRAY SIIYREAMs
Gathered as They Sparkle From the
Pen of Hamor.


The man who sleeps in church has q
nod idea of his Immortal soul.
When Mrs. Mackey gives a dinner K
the Prince, she has nine different kinds
oI pie.
There is one place where busybodies
ss'dom "stick their nose in" and that
is 4 hornets nest.
The woman you can call a poem Is
not the woman you can call early in
the morning to get breakfast.
One thing can be said in favor of the
ice nan II he has any left owe he
doesn't warm it up for breakfast.
A woman's beauty is most perfect
when 1T is backed up by intelligence.
\ newspaper hustle is just the thing.
In a race for the prize of being called
l9sle of the ball, it is frequently a neck
isai-neck finish with society beauties.
"Your horse has a tremendous long
hit" said a friend to a noted wag.
Yes" he responded, at is q bit too
iong."
Stranger-Does Mr.. Jones live on
:'is floor? Musical young lady-No,
his room Is an octave higher, in the
.s.it fat.
Ruth was not a designing woman.
tld yet she managed to get as good q
.ioiz any of the other girls who both
z2wed and reaped.
1t must be exasperating to the city
beau to read about counting by the
q te, when he has nothing to lean
ainst but the scraper.
Hotel Proprietor-"We don't allow
n"v games of chance here" Gambler
his isn't a game of chance. My
iI,end here has Tic chance"
A glass bottle factory is to be estab-
listed in Atlanta, Ga. There Is a large
'csl demand In the South which this
giterprise expects to supply.
If people who mean to begin to read
SiDuld read all the advice to readers
i1out reading, they wouldn't have time
To read anything else.
A convict with a ball and chain
attachment, gave as III excuse for not
,siiAg q SUNNI. 81 vacation, that he was
too closely tied to business.
"That is genuine butter" remarked
t'la oleomargarile man, as he gathered
nSelf up off the ground after the
Dat had got through with him.
The chronological Journal says: "In
t'i0oslng q wife, be governed by her
~" A man is apt to be governed
by the same thing after he gets a wife.
Even pious souls are sometimes
,tnpted to lapse into the wanton spirit
o the little maiden who prayed:
~!'tease, Mr.. God, I'm tired O. bein'
made good-won't you kill pa?
How long has Brown been married,
rharleyP" SDidn't know he was mar.
ri"l at all. | don't believe he is either"
J es, he Is; | noticed him turn pale
when the clock struck eleven"
Belle-"Ma do you know what cafe
~ lait isg" Mrs. Mushroom-"NO,I
mt know exactly, darling; but l sup
pJse cafe au lay is coffee with an egg
in it,"
Mrs. Gubbins says she never allows
her boy, Jim, to eat jam, for her hus-
tmd died OF the jim-jams, and she
cont propose to run any chances with
the boy.
There is one advantage about the
big, short-melslre silver dollar.
Thieves do not take them in large
Quantities where the transportation Is
limited.
The meanest man so far on record
lives in New Haven. His wife asked
him to give her a pet, some animal
that would stick to her, and the next
evening he brought home a leech.
A little three-year old girl discovered
q neighbours hen scratching In the gar
den, and running into the house she
said to her mother in a most indignant
tone: ana, that hen next door is
wiping her feet on our grass!"
Judge" Have you anything to say
before the court passes sentence upon
your" PRISONER Well, all l got to
say Is, I hope Yer honor II consider the
extreme youth and greenness of my
lawyer, an let me off easy"
Adirondack " Murray, the eccentric
preacher, is married again. His boosted
knowledge OF 4" How to Cook q Beef
steak" will now serve him q good turn.
but the chances are that he will expect
nu
why ana she do itY" asks an ex-
awfully cold. s@.,e,d d'I he "s bad dee hso were =
bed an honr, therefore warm and com.
for if not to warm his wife's Feat ON
anyway?
One Of onr e-xcbanoo. nr,n.. L.,
aditopia ~ oUt;t,ad na1Ses Palnss = ione
r. t' 10 beIi eu',I'e 10 or tme Ageoi brass,
Nv ! r pt'p VIC are'c.e was INSPIRED
agent who wanted column advertise
ment one year and ifty-two readin,
notices inserted for 1872, to be takei
out in silver Sencher."
,..,rou.. H..
honon ma. : itas satlsiied himsel
po ava,s = " u9aps 'aiat the average ca
tltftlo u ulSltlitN vi clgnUv miles every