The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-04-13
FOR MoThERS-iN-lAW.
Mechanical Bed which IL in Great De-
maDd by Young Husbands.

eler He travelled in wine. There was
also good deal of wine in Duselmeyer
when he travelled. as he always had his
sample cases handy. Duselmeyer was
'ery energetic. He rushed things. For
this reason he always travelled by night
q sleeper. He never slept except
When travelling. This became second
nature with him.
One day ne Received telegram that
,is aunt had died abruptly. She was
itch. and she had left all her property
10 Duselmeyer. He was rich man all
it once. He ceased TO travel for other
people. He established himself in bust
Iess. He had every luxury he could
think of. He desired To lead a quiet
lie, but. alas, he could not sleep. He
aad become accustomed TO the noise and
racket of railroad train. Itwas impos-
sible for him TO sleep where it was quiet.
The silence kept him awake. II nearly
drove him distracted.
In a short time Duselmeyer. the rubi
sund. jolly drummer, began To fade
away. like . flower He wilted visibly.
He subscribed Ia several humorous pa
pers and read them. too. bat still ne did
not sleep. He tried elec-homeo. and
all the other pathies. and they failed to
make him drowsy. He became thin.
and looked like a man on the edge Of
sarcophagus
IL occurred 10 Duselmeyer To- visit q
neighboring city To consult n celebrated
doctor. As soon A. the train Was in
motion be fell asleep. He slept a.
sound a. an entire board of alderman
in session. The shaking. humping. rat
Ting of the cars. the whisiling Of
the locomotive, the banging of the ear
door by the conductor made him drOwsy.
Duselmeyer was in his element. He had
discovered the proper remedy for his
sleepleSsneSs. Whenever Ne felt sleepy
he got ON the train. After awhile this
got moRoionous. Ii was also very ex-
pensive.
A happy thought occurred to Dusel-
meyer. He knew q mechanic who was a
genius in his way. Duseimeyer explained
that he wanted a railroad bed He
wanted bed that would rattle. jump
about like Il car. blow off steam, and
snort like locomotive. The mechsni-
cal genius went 10 work. and in short
time he had the bed ready.
II was brought into the bed room. arc
that night he tried i. lie touched q
button. The bed Swaged about ratified.
and jumped. Every few minutes there
was q sound. as if door was banged
Every once in while il snorted like 5
locomotive. How happy was Dusel
meyer. He slept like top. He dream
that he WAS in Heaven. and ne saw the
mechanical genius with halo aroune
his head like a saints.
When he awOke he was being SHOOK
up just as if he was travelling on 8
limited express Ii snorted beautifully.
Now" said Dusslmeyer. I'll just
slow mp. and get ont at the next sta
ton"
He was not quite sure which was tn,
right button To- press in order I'D stop the
bed. He pressed one of the buttons, bui
out of the bed. He had pulled open the
Unbelievable. and the bed was going
through all the motions of lightning
express train running at the rate VI sew
enty miles al hour
Duselmeyer pressed another button.
Whew: There was a shrek of danger
from the steam whistle. There was 5
strange grinding sound. The bed began
10 buck like Texas cow pony. At last
it hurled Duselmeyer against the wall
with frighiful violence. and tumbled
over on one side.
Duselmeyer was not fatally injured
by the bed being ditched. The pcchani
cal genius Was sent for. He explained
that he had forgotten to tell Duselmeyer
about the attachment for jumping the
track. However. DuSelmcyer had found
out all about il without any assistance.
Duselmeyer, in the meantime, had got
married, and his wife's mother carried
ont y previous threat Of paving the I'M
happy couple a visit. She even went 50
far - To hint that she WAS going TO make
him two visits year-each one to last
six months.
What did the wicked DuSelmeyer do?
He put the railroad bed which out
wardly looked ike sny other bed-into
the old lsdy's room. and he Sneaked in
after she was fast asleep and put the
machinery 60 work. How she beloved
and went on! 10 her frenzy she touched
the button that threw the train into the
ditch. Once more the bed asserted
itself. The old lady caromed on the
ceiling. and next morning sbs said she
preferred quiet life at her own home
Duselmeyer honored her whims in this
respect
Duselmeyer had another happy
thought. He went into partnership
with the mechanical genius. and started
a large factory, which turns out one
hundred such beds dsy. which are adj
vertised a. being exclusively for the COM
fort and conveBience of mothers-in-law.
Duselmeyer is nov immensely wealthy.
as there is DO limit TO the demand for
fhst sr-lp of F,rniture Trooelote1