Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-14
BRIGHT BITS.

FOND Moth ito bachelor unclel-Why,
John, don't let the baby play with that gold
toothplck. He'll swallow it.
BacnclOr UnCle-Oh, that won't do anv
harm. have string tied to it so | can't lose
it.-LJe.
Those who have seen his bent form will ap-
preciate this story which President Dwight
tells at his own expense: little girl, after
watching his walk for awhile, remarked:
MAMMA, think he is the stoopedest man l
ever did see."
INCIDENT at the recent session of the To-
ronto Diocesan Synod of the Church of Eng
land: The Rev. John Vicars-My lord (ad-
dressing the Bishop, have preached to my
people for thirty years. A voce-ADd they
are Christians yet. Loud laughter.
PROF. HAMILTON says that the corpus COL
losum Is not commissural structure at all,
I but merely represents the decussation of
hbres on their way from the cortex to lower
| parts. He Is speaking about brains, TO I've
sure, but we can't get his meaning through
ours. The brain of one of 10 added. His,
no doubt.-Fhi&ddekDhia CdH.
A BUSINESS LIKE OFFER-The Marquis ito
the Beauty-A-look here. you know, If you
think you would like to add my name the
list OF those you have already rejected this
season I've no objection to propose on the
spot. But let us understand each other.
There shall be no mist Ike about the offer: but,
| say, by jove! there mustn't be any mistake
about the refusal Punch.
WE note that a new seaside hotel proudly
announces that all the water used in the house
lis pumped directly from our own artesian
well, 79j feet deep" This is all well enough.
We don't mind how deep is the artesIan well
| from which the summer hotel pumps its
drinking water, but when the artesan well
becomes mania with the managers, and
they begin to pump the milk and pure coun-
try cream" from it, then we k, i, c, q, Il, e.
kick.-BUtdette.
DR.. MONROE ATKINSON, who for half a CEN
fury has been on the Western frontier and
prosDected every mining locality from the
head waters of Athabaseo, which runs north
to the Great Slave Lake. 10 the Mexican line
| IL now here on his way 10 the Sierra Anchas.
! The doctor In his time was surgeon IN the
! United States army. He is now ia Ills sixty
sixth year and, while showing anmistaka able
| evidence OF age, is still on the move and. like
! the Wandering Jew, takes no interest in des-
| lgnabed local1tles.-ArdsOnG Siloer Belt.
Two Bostonians recently discussed IN a car
| for the space OF twenty minutes the pronOun-
citation Of the word ''Nahant." They were
| unanimous that 1t was good orr hodox Bos-
| tOnese 20 pronounce it Ma haunt, rather than
IN the short, sharp, pebIan way as if 1t rhym-
ed with pant. Both expres .ed utter abhor-
| renee of the vulgar and untutored mind that
| gave the word the short sound Soon the
train putfed within sight of the beautiful
| peninsula and the lady exclaimed: How
beautiful the clouds look as they rest over
! Na-hant! On she SAID, recalling herself.
what have said; l meant to have said Ma
haunt. This is what comes of ass pcating
with Lynn people, ynn (Mass.j Union.
THE next day after a man moved into
| town in Western Dakota the Mayor called
| upon him and said:
| Just arrived from the East. hear?"
| "Yes."
Believe your name is Jones1"
CHATS it,"
NO title, suppose2"
| None"
"Of course you will want one now. but III
! Just tell you how IL IL; we haven't GOT much
| to select from. We limited each title to fl We
PERSONS, and we already have i've Colonels,
! 1--WE Senators. five Governors, Eve Judges, and
so on. We aren't quite full of Majors and
| Commodorcs. however, and you can take
| your choice"
"Woll, If it is customary, l believe III take
| Major"
Gan right, Major Come on down to Judge
| POTTS poker parlors and Pll Introduce you TO
senator Blow, Gen. Metiore and others of our
leading clCizens. "-E>tdUine (Dok.) Bell.