davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
How Is This?

EDITOR CRITIC: In q morning paper |
find this remark by Grand Master Workman
Powderly, the head of the Knights OF Labor:
"When people talk, as sometimes they do,
about using the Knights Of Labor as a po.
litical engine they utter the most arrant
nonsense. 1t is not worth while to discuss
the matter with such q man. He is either
liar or an empty-headed fool" In the
column next to It | find a dispatch from
Decatur, ILL.,, to this effect: "'rhe action of
the knights of Labor Of this section in
forming a new political party is attracting
much attention. They declare In their
platform: I'VE have formed new national
party to be known as the United Labor
Party Of America, for the purpose of organ
izing and directing the great political power
of the industrial masses as a political organ
ization.'" Now, am workingman and
! cannot go into the finer reasoning OF
things, but somehow these two passages
quote don't seem to me to harmonize. Can
you give reason for the milk in the cocoa
nut? WoRKINGMAN.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
Inauguration Day,


EDITOR Critic: VIII you permit "a
Looker-on in Venice' to draw the at
tention Of our lawmakers to subject
which needs only to be introduced to com
mand not only favorable consideration IN
Congress, but "God-speed" by the people
throughout the length and breadth of the
land. / refer to the oft-suggested proposi-
tion that the day for the Inauguration of
the President be changed from tho 4th of
March to some later period-say the Both of
April. In his admirable grafton delivered
at the dedication Of the Washington Ma
tional Monument, the Hon. Robert G. Win
throp said:
"Most happy would it beif the Both of
April, on which the first Inauguration of
Washington took place in 1850, could
henceforth be the date of oil future inau-
gurations-as it might be byN slight amend
ment to the Constitution-giving, as it
would, much-necded extension to the
short sessions OF Congress, and let the Sec
ond century Of our Constitutional History
begin where the first century practically
began"
Now, here is advice from one of the very
few surviving statesmen Of the old regime,
and none among them, living or dead, is en-
titled to greater weight In any matter whore
true craftsmanship and patriotism are con-
cerned. beg most heartily to 'second his
motion,n and / shall be disappointed If
some energetic Member Of Congress shall
not take measures, without delay, to have it
put to vote. HoRATio KING.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

bills having that object in view have
been sent to the Committee on Reform
in the Civil Service, but only 10 be sal
down upon by that body. Yesterday
Mr. Bennett of North Carolina, who
dctcsts nothing in the world so much
as the civil service law, introduced an.
other bill to repeal the obnoxious stat
ute lie asked that It be referred to
the Committee on the Revision of the
Laws, which committee, he says, will
report 1t back favorably. BY a rising
vote the House so directed. But IL IS
somewhat doubtful, even if n favorable
vote should be made, If 1t receives con.
sidcration. And IL It should receive
consideration it is even more doubtful
If on mn aye and no vote a majority of
the members of the House would vote
ms they think.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

COMMISSIONER CoLMAN of the Agri.
cultural Department is right in dis
countenancing the cultivation of the
tea plant at the public expense.
There's no more reason for it than
there would be in the Government $
starting cocoanut grove or pine
apple plantation. If there's anything
that can be grown TO advantage in this
country, private enterprise will be
sure to "catch on" to it.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

ACCORDING to the statement of Sec
retary McCook, made to the Senate
yesterday under the Riddleberger res
olution, there are only seventeen Sena-
tors who give employment to private
secretaries. Either the private secre-
tary is luxury with which many Sen
ators get along without, or it was a
very poor day for reporting.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

district Of columbia, comfy Of lVdstington, ss'
], CHARLES A. JAMES, Cashier of the
above named bank, do solomnly swear that
the above statement Is true to the best % 4
my knowledge and belief.
@. A. JAMES, Cashier.
Subscribed and sworn to before me this sth
day of March, 1856.
SAMUEL II. WALKER Notary Public.
Correot-Attest:
EDWARD TEMPLE,
w. Il. HOWARD,
JOHN NJ. SIMS,
j. II. c. COFFIN,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
FOR RENT---HOUSES.
EOR RENT

INOR RENT--StOre, Southwest Corner
II of 18th and Y SITS n W; rent moderate.
Apply at northwest corner 18th and SITS n W.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

THE Senatorial executive debate did
not open yesterday, Mr.. Edmunds,
who has charge of the matter com
planning of severe cold and conse-
quent inability to speak But 1t is TO
be noticed that, although the Vermont
Senator had II cold, he was in his seat.
On a somewhat similar occasion short
time ago the Senator from Vermont
had cold and remained at home.
Senator Sherman then proceeded to
precipitate the debate, much to the
amusement of the Senate aud the pIj.
lie and the surprise of senator Il |.
munds II is said that you cannot foot
fox more than once.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
EDITOR CRITIC; Has eX-Ministt
Wallace published another novel 81
wrote "Ben Ilur?n lNQuI
'Ostlcr joe"
EDITOR CRITIC; All this talk abou

EDITOR CRITIC: All this talk about Mrs.
Potter and her recitation, "'Ostler :" joe"
seems to me to be very fine advertisement
for the lady and for the poem. Thousands
have heard Of Mrs. p. and "'Ostler Joe"
who were In blssful ignorance before the
tainted by this awful reading, and the cause
of charity has been materially assisted, not
only for the present, but for the future, be-
cause now everybody will go to hear Mrs.
Potter rccite, and Mrs. Potter has sense
enough to avail herself, "for sweet chart
ty's sake,n Of the opportunity. Let the
good work go on, and II there are any more
poems like "'Ostler Joe' let them be
brought before the public and made useful.
CHARITY,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

BY SOME inscrutable di'penslliou of
Providence THE CRITIC owl was in.
icctcd into the middle of Colonel Nor.
ris speech at Saturday nights Demo.
cratic symposium, and thereby credited
with remarks that properly belonged
to the veteran president Of the Jackson
Democratic Association. The mistake
is not so serious n one as to justify call
ing out the Fire Department. At the
same time he desires it to bcundcrstood
that THE CRITIC owl, though taking a
lively interest in political affairs, is not
an orator as Brutus was and Colonel
Norris is.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
LOST AND FOUND.


+ OST-At Abner's, on March !, Two
i bracelets; one with monograms, the
other with sea beans. A reward will be given
II returned to 007 n stn NV.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
what the Senate May Do.

EDITOR Critic: Do you think the U.
S. Senate will reject the nomination of Mat
thews as Recorder of Deeds for the Dis
trict? Well the Senate will do nothing Of
the sort. Is Mr.. Edmunds running that
body to correct errors made by the Presi-
dent of the United States. Well, not
hardly. 1t will be political capital for the
Senate, and every Republican there will
chip in his conllrmatory vote with all pos
sible haste in order to clinch the nail Cleve-
land has driven into his coffin. Cleveland
may withdraw the appointment and get out
of the hole as far as he can, but you may
depend upon 1t that he will receive no as
sistance from the Senate. DEMOCRAT.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

T AIDES HAIR DRESSING, CUT
IL ting and shampoolng, ut Nine. Demon
geot's Human Hair and rerfumery store, 906
i 81 n W, opposite Masonic Temple
E'OIs the Best Toilet Soap In Use Ask
II for the sc. b." brand made specially
from oil selected for its manufacture; 10c. per
cake, or . for a5c. For sale only at Van
syckle's pharmacy, cor 18th and stsnw.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
MAM1EN SiIiIsTInns

dotttNof0fpts Of Three LtBts aiitler MS he1
hgf,t1 Tn times for - cshiS.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

1t was at a X street residence and the
young man had been going often and stay
ing late until the girl felt the monotony.
One night about II o'clock the conversation
dragged and for minute or two he sat in
a cogitative mood with his hand to his
forehead.
81 had something pleasant to tell you,"
he said finally.
"les," she responded, inquiringly, ,"what
was itf'
"um-um--let me see," rubbing his head;
81 can't just think whatit was"
"May be it was good night" she sug-
gested.
lie looked at her for minute, but she
never finched; then he went away, and up
to date has not been back.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
Rufus Hatch of New York is in the city
What's in the egg

If the usual order of Southern school
house architecture is followed in the con-
struction of proposed buildings, as intended
by Senator Logan's extra $2,OOO,OOO in the
Educational bill, 10000 of these valuable
adiuncts of society will spring up over the
country.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

Emma Abbott will be here next week with
her much advertised kiss. She has had a
new valve put in it, and has added five
horse power. 1t is now warranted not to
rip, tear, ravel or run down at the heel, and
is the only anti-corrosive, non-explosive ad-
justed to heat, cold and position, dust
proof, cylinder escapement kiss in the mar
ket.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09
GENERAL ANp oa1rIouLAn.

One of tue constituents of the Hon. Tim
Campbell was at the Capitol the other day
TO consult with him relative TO some meas
ure Of special interest 10 his ItIbcrnlan
friends.
"Bc jabers Tim, livery olrlsh Mimber
musht be sane and tocked with.
"Ay coorsc," replied Tim.
Then Mr. Campbell went over the names,
and his constituent, with Congressional
Directory before him and a pa a,s-book in his
hand. took them down.
"Is that the end nv the lisht Z" he asked
when Tim had got through
"Oi can't intuition any more iIst at pris-
eut," replied the Congressman.
"phwat's the matter wild O'Ilara of Narth
Carrylinyg" asked the constituent as his
eye fell upon the name IN the directory.
"Yc2 havn't mintioued him that oi hcv
heard an yez be afther KNOWN, Tim, that
the O'Ilaras are nlvcr behint IN bresh wild
the inemy."
Tim never said word, but led the aston.
ished gentleman into the gallery and pointed
out to him the Member from the old North
State. No reference has been made to the
O'llafa family since.
"There's n man with a club In the Ollie {
| down stairs looking for the editor" re-
marked the devil coolly TO the boss of the
sanctum, ms he walked in and set the towo
| up In the corner.
"Good Lord ~ groaned the elitor, "art
| you surcTn
Yes" replied the boy, she was lookin
for the editor; that's what he said.'
| "WhGt kiul Of a man was he ?n
"Tough, country. Jake sort o. chap, as biz
US a skinned hoss an hans on to him like
bans,' answered the boy, with a wicked
smile.
"What kind of club did ho have, any
thing like dray-pn ?" suggested the edI
tor, watching the door nervously.
"Wait Til | 20 AN sec," said the bo,
kindly.
In few minutes he returned
"Well - queried the editor, mopping tn,
cold pcrspirNtlon up with a last winter
blotier,n swell ~
"Ugh,r gruntod The boy in disappointed
tones, at was Il club of twenty new sub
scribers.n
Then the edtor.kicked the boy glcefull,
aud ordered him to bring the man up
The New York SIN is an organ of th
swallow-tail coat. 1t says that gentleman
| ottiro1 la, a c,nt Of ,hn pniL t,i I,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-09

The New York Sua is an organ of the
swallowtai coat. 1t tsnys that gentleman
attlrcd in coat of the spike tailed variety,
no after If its cut conforms with the fash
ion of the hour or not low cut vest and pail
Of cloth pants, all, of course, black, with Il
pair of neat feet coverings and white
necktie is, so to speak, en- regle for appear.
ing at any full dress affair. This may bC
all very well in commercial and thrifty
New York, but in this latitude and longi
tude man cannot be dc rige,T anywhere
unless he wears some sort of a shirt.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13

cents to the II. & IL. bank account.
hope no one is waiting for personal
invitation to be reinstated. DO like ]
did, walk right in and appropriate the
softest seat You can find. To the new
corners, would say, welcome. Crowd
right up TO the fire, and drink cider and
tell stories with the rest of the family.
That was the way we hoosier school
masters die when we boarded round.
\. n. ", while You are rusticating
out there in Deerlield, tell the members
what bachelors are good for.
Aunt Jane, | have not been in
Augusta since received your invita-
ton to call and eat chicken and cherry
pie
| cannot now respond TO the invita-
ton to write up last years State Fair
meeting. | cam prove by Rosamond,
however, that l was there withmy good
manners; also Mrs. Felix aTayed in
the best dress She could borrow from
her afflicted ncighbors.
Some one invites Scribendiemest to
join the circle. fear That, Ike good
old father Grimes, with lis long tailed
coat and brass buttons, I'VE ne'er shall
see him more"
Felix is all cooked and PINNED with a
fish story that beats Bert James 80
spring hens and last years chicken clear
out of sight. If You don't want to hear
it, you delinquents Will have to hurry
up your contributions. Now Miss
editor, if that don't fetch EN- nothing
short of a writ habeas corpus viii.
"FELIX."
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13
Aonther Old Friend Comes.

| feel like stepping in this morning
and giving YOU all a cordial handshake,
Notwithstanding | feel quite like Il
stranger. especially as have seen but
one number of our paper, as they all 90
TO Armada instead of Lawton where
now live. | hope the next number will
find me. and in it hope to see letters
from many of my old friends and also
from new members. Come one, come
all and Join us and give us cheerful let
ters and let us have a jolly. good time
through our own little paper this sum
mer. will not be able to come very
often as am building and trying to be
proprietor of the Leonard House at the
same time, but | will find time to read
every letter, and whenever any Of you
chance to come this way please call on
Leonard. Mich. CLYDE
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13
The EXtradition Treaty.
EDWARD ]. PHELPS,
UNITED STATES MINISTER TO LONDON.

-. q -.
Lord Rosebery, Secretary for For
o,-n Affairs in tho Gladstone Cabinet,
arJ Mr Phelps, our u mister to England,
negotiated the amended EXtradition
Treaty between the two governments,
winch now awaits ratification by the
senate az Washington. The Treaty is
commended by good judges as an able
pro Ua,ioa, and lis authors are honorcd
iortar.r achievement.
Ilwarl j. Phelps, OF Vermont, sue
cce-ai James L. Lowell as Envoy
Extraordinary and Minister Plenipoten-
t.ay TO the United Kingdom. His
appointment mas proved a fortunate one.
Mr Phelps being IN every way proper
man for 10.
H. is a native OF Vermont, born at
M1iIooury, in the year 1924. His father
Na- man OF mark, at one time q
jntol States Senator. Mr. Phelps Is
gate ot Middlebury College, after
r4F.u, which he followed the study Of
His first practice was in New
l.lk nOM whence he removed, In 1856,
,0 lus ugtou, Vermont. He has been n
ie..I.a.y successful lawyer, appear
.. .ec0urts Of other States than his
.Nu and often In the United States Su-
rtame tOart lie was President OF the
American Bar Association two consecu-
asa terms. When he received the ap-
..'m.ut he is now filing, Mr.. Phelps
heu Professor OF Law In Yale Col
.,... la THIS eminent scat OF learning he
10. only lcctured to the students OF tho
Law school, ugt gave instruction on sub
s.- u prudence IN the theological
aaI aca cu.c departments.
Asa u.m1er OF tAe Democratic party,
I.-a.l, % Vermont, Mr.. Phelps had not
opportunity OF making polite dis
sanction for himself Mr.. T.ldcn prom
.-.. Hm the POSITION of Minister to Lon
.oa ia tho event OF his election to the
H.. cucy. lie ran for Governor OF
\rrron,. iu 1se0, and was defeated, as
u.t.rr ~ course; but The vote Tor him
Has tAs largest Democratic vote ever
cast .l She Green Mountain state.
Ng. Iteigs Is man OF i.ae presence,
o u.l .m height and wcieat. HIS com
.,s. .a - lark. H. T. hIi.Lan, ID 7oc.-
e N.l informed, Witty auG adroiJ.
-i. England Ee is accompanied of
..s s..e ami daughter Two la ICES .'Nors
.l.oi natural cutowmci'~ IA
H.rs. sir IAeig- .rt1- TO
Ola public occa-l'. '- an
. tAce,t.onal Auency 80 ssIte.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13
Members Post Office.

| am happy to see so many of the
old familiar faces in the HALL, and
hope many more will find their old
places among the many empty seats.
| was glad to see our far away sister
=" Meg NJ and hope to see her often as
health will permit
How much we miss "Ola's" letters
but we hope the heart is with us. The
spirit is willing, if the flesh is weak.
y hearty welcome to old and new mem
bcrs from "HARRI."
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13
The HEARTH AND HALL.

As not enough subscribers To III. &H.
nave been received to make il profitable
To run 1t as seperate sheet, we have at
last decided to set apart IA space in the
RECORD for this purpose, until such
time rs it shall seem advisable to re-
Turn to the separate sheet system. We
regret that we have been compelled to
make this change, but hope that it may
not be long until we can change back
again. Come just as often as You wish
ana make this one Of the most interest
ing departments of the paper, brother
and sister Ilallites.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13
Two Veterans Meet.

conc day last summer / was in Louis
Vile While seated jpn the hotel office |
noticed q gentleman scanning the regis
ter saw him speak TO the clerk and
then turn and look at me. Then he APP
preached me and asked: Is your name
II. II. Hamilton?' At my Affirmative
reply he asked: "Will You remain here
fifteen minutes and then meet mey |
again gave a positive answer, and asked:
q don't know who YOU are, sir, but I'll
meet YOU. In fifteen minutes the stran-
ger was back, and i'm the same mystcr-
ion, manner asked me TO get into the
elegant carriage with which he was ac-
companicd We drove 20 an elegant res
idcncc. into which / followed the
stranger. He seated me in parlor and
left me. telling me he would return in a
moment was nervous, but very Curl
Gus. Presently my strange escort re-
turned with a companion, an aged lady,
who was leaning upon his arm.
Mother. he said. this j, Mr. Hamilton,
of whom YOU have often heard me
speak; he Is the man who gave me this
ugly wound i'm my shoulder I'm the
man who crippled the hand he's now
extending to you. That old lady, as
beautiful an old lady as ! ever saw,
then threw her tender arms around my
neck. and didn't | shed some tcars'
Cincinnati EHgUircr.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13

Ten years ago. said pompous
traveller To 4 hotel bartender, Il stopped
over here. and YOU made me n cocktail
that seemed TO strike the right spot. y
Yes. sir, said the bartender. You
can made me another one just like it,.
continued the pompous traveller, "but
don't put quite 50 much sugar in it -
" T. SIN.
Gilhooly had another Joint discussion
with his laudlady on the coffee question.
He tasted it. and then stirred it up. and
kept on stirring it for about half an
hour without saying a word. Finally
she spoke up. perhaps, Mr. Gilhooly,
| didn't put in any sugar?' You didn't
put in any coffee, was the quiet reply.
-IcraS Sytings
Angry land purchaser Go real estate
agent You told me that the tcmpcra-
ture in this part Of the country would
average about 90 the year round, and
here the thermometer is down TO zero.
Real estate agcnt-Yes, sir. Zero in the
winter and lOO@ in the shade in the
summer. That makes the 90 average
all right.-N J. SIM.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13
DEAR FRIENDS OF HEARTH AND HALL

DEAR FRIENDS OF HEARTH AND HALL.
Many. many years agoa multitude Of
people gathered upon the banks Of the
river Jordan. to listen to prophetic
words as they fell from the lips of a
wonderful man. There was cast upon
them a solmnity seldom witnessed ;
amid heart tmobings. and soul search
ing thoughts. and shaking of many
heads. the crowd dispered. yet longing
to hear more of those precious words.
soon. the same people were again
gathered y new light had risen.
a more wonderful man was speaking;
new emotions were stirred. His ques-
tionings heart searching. for he said.
''What went We out into the wilderness
20 seey y seed shaken of the wind:
But what went We out for to see: y
named clothed in soft reiment? Others
still more searching fell from His lips.
From those days down TO the present
time. the same interest has been made
manifest by the gathering together OF
the people from hamlet. and city. to
hear the same precious truths. To-day
thousands are gathered together from
al parts Of the land, upon the bank of
Grand River at Eaton Rapids. for the
same purpose those gathered upon
Jordans banks: to hear Gods word.
What came many ito see. Il man;
Yes. \ mm-but to hear his words
-out Of curiosity. for the press had
made him out a llypopotamus OF some
other monster" The far famed SAN
Jones. not prophet nor the son Of {
prophet. but man fired with zeal fol
the work. 9.
Many are the eccentric words he use:
and Immediately after his most redic
Mons speech-he will use the mos
beautiful language, in the most grace
full style. He is surely wonderful
man-holdng the vast concouse spell
bound for hours. Many are the seeds
that have shaken during the past week
AZ the altar service, many glaC
halleluiahs have risen heayenward.
Let us step down to the waters edge
where baptism is being performed
Look across the river, an artist will
camera set. is taking the scene. Thou
sands are standing upon the shore ; The
'steamer. the scow. row boats. and sid'
paddle are upon the stream laden t
their full capacity. looking upon TIN
candidates as one after the other re
ceiyes the solemn ordinance. Al
through the week. most perfect orde
has been kept throughout the grounds
Soon the vast assembly will disperse
carrying JOY to many homes. Anothe
year will bring them together again
but not all perhaps, not to hear Jone
with his exceetric speeches. or Drs
Reed and Watson it may be. but som
one equally as faithful. | am gettin
too lengthy 50 will bidyou az croir.
"LUXoRA"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-08-13

But for my promise to do all | could
to oct the new HEARTH AND HALL
started in a career of prosperity and
renown. should wait for letters from
some of those who have not yet been
heard from. Clyde. Nena, Mile, Rosa
mond. Only Me, Mabel Claire, and
hosts of others who wrote for the old
time II. X H., may we not hope that
YOU will resume your places by the fire.
sidey
Come. friends. your presence Is de-
sired. and YOU have ii in your power to
help make success of the Few paper.
If vou hayn't time TO contribute an ar
ticle. at least contribute seventy-iive