The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1886-06-26
The Sons of Rest. $

X AuOlllCt lstiSC Cutllu>istSli( iiSItfAiC =
the ''Sons Of Rest" was held last night at tn,
R usual place of restful ease. Most Worth,
Mogul, 81 Morrow, presided with great dea
: Of languid grace and dignity, and some othel
things. The Chief Lecturer was on hand
and the ever vigilant Sergeant-at-arms cum
ningly lit his pipe and prepared for war.
The chief mogul stated that as the order
was growing SO rapidly and bid fair to swal-
low up all other societies-even to the anti
Chinese club-he thought it best to elect an
auxiliary force of officers. He found his
duties too arduous for feeble constitution.
The chief lecturer promptly arose and said
that if this organization proposed to swallow
the ant-Chinese club, or any other club, he
for one, should resign, and join over again
after the club had disappeared. He didn't
mind swallowing little thing like schooner
now and then, but he drew the line at clubs
Mosby, who had casually strayed within the
enchanted circle, without the grip or pass
word, here stated that he could see no good
reason why they could not all holdoffi He
said he mad hankered after an office for long
time, yet it came not. He would take nearly
anything outside of hot stove, and now
that civil service reform was knocked silly. he
believed in throwing the rascals out" He
called for new deal and
His remarks Were interrupted by the sleep
less sergeant-at-arms, who promptly fired him
from the fact that he was without the grip,
fill n
The application of Jumbo for member
ship was then read, and he was elected by &C
clamation and placed in the seat of honor at
the right of the chief roster. He took a full
grown barrel, as he said he felt safer than on
nail key. 1t htted him better, and he was
not so apt to blow away.
''Spuds" came next in order, and was
initiated without serious consequence to any
one. He was coquetishly arrayed in boiled
shirt and straw hat, and a neat little placard
playfully fastened TO his back stated that "Oi
am a dude He said he thanked the men,
bers for their great kindness, and that as he
had had considerable experience in organic
ing clubs, he would no doubt, prove last,
| ing source Vi Joy u tiitH 1'-
Parker arose and grasped him by the hand,
and two great tears slowly stole their course
down his swarthy cheeks.
'sSplin,ers, of THE TRIBUNE, then made
personal application for membership, on the
grounds of past service to the order. He
said he had helped them along all winter, and
considered it their duty to give him favorable
consideration.
Chief Lecturer Mccarthy promptly arose to
point of order. He said that personally he
had nothing against "Splinters," but that |
their organization was purely home institu-
lion. and he didn't believe in electing men,
bers who habitually resided out Of the county.
and unless "Spinters" would cut off enough
OF his legs to bring him within the county
boundaries, he would oppose his admission.
Jumbo" heartily endorsed the speakers
sentiments, and "Splinters" was, consequent
ly, fired.
Eli then applied for admission, but the chief
mogul stated that no further candidates would
be admitted without medical examination.
The order was increasing altogether too fast.
lake Hamm stated that his friend, Prof f.
V Lenk, sixteen years in the Austrian cavalry
service, thirteen in this country, Office at Lit
tie & Co.. s, could act in that capacity.
'gumbo" doubted his ability, but the great
doctor, coming up at this moment, stated that
he could do it. He was used to examining
animals of all kinds.
A short intermission was then held. during
which the ACCORDION fend was killed and bur
led, and other refreshing things INDUCED in.
Upon reassembling the doctor stated that he \
found the applicants stomach out of order, S
Eli was therefore rejected on account of dis {
ordered stomach
'Spuds" here stated that he did not be- 4
lieve in having an examining physician who .
was not member. He called upon the doc
tor to state, in as few words as possible, his
reasons for not joining.
The doctor said he had wanted to utter a 4
Few remarks for long time, but had choked T
back the desire because of his national mod +
,sty He was man Of few words. but when R
lie talked it meant something. He then
Warmed up to his subject, but his remarks R
we're somewhat broken owingto the vociferous Q
applause of Jumbo" and Jake Hamm. !;
"Yahl" he said, ''seexteen years practeece :,
cavalry-[Applausel- ring bone 81
-spaveen--[Great Applause thirteen c.
ears Long and continued cheeringl this 9
ountrylll!l-Sal amomonia- coic-[ Frantic y n
demonstrations by "Jumbo cramps :
i've years government serveece--sweeny-
,oilcd ham, Loud and continued bowling by
'Spuds' l-offce Leetle company-phy
whisky United applause
" the orderl-call, night or day-wind
-staggers-b blind
Feeble yels from Hamml -ijkmzzl3eors
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