davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01
ASCENT GLuTToNs.



Tho Extrasaganoe of the Koman EmperoEs
and Their Mobility.
The history of the Caesars, with some
exceptions, is the narrative of contin-
ual orgie. Take the notorious group at
random-Commodus, Caligula. Tibe-
RUS, Verus, vitelus, Nero, Heliogaba-
lus, Domitian. These men spent their
lives in round of monstrous debauch-
cries. The day and night, we are as
sured, were not long enough sfor their
revels. Verus, the first to increase the
number of guests from nine to twelve,
prolonged his supper throughout the
night Nero sat at table from midday
to midnight Tberiuss spent two days
and night at the festive board. They
had huge appetites- only the gigan-
tic Macmillan, who devOured forty
pounds of flesh meat and drank five
gallons of wine at a meal, but finical
handles like CommoduS who ate
even in the bath; Vitellius,
who ceased eating only when he
slept: Domitian, who late out of his
hand" to stay his stomach in the inter-
walls of regular repas:s. Heliogabalus
was perhaps the most elaborate, Vitel-
Illus the most extravagant, in his daily
fare. The latter squandered in seven
months f7,OO0, 900, chiefly on his table.
The total staggers belief, but let us ex-
anime the figures on the other side.
The Roman empire is reported to have
paid f65 or SO for a mullet; brace of
pigeons cost FL 12s. At an entertain-
ment given to Vitellius BY his brother
two thousand of the rarest fish and
seven thousand of the rarest birds were
served up. One individual spent the
sum OF fJ,O 900 on single dish made of
the tongues of the choicest singing
birds. The Roman bon viUant, sup
ing on the brains of peacocks and
pheasants, the tongues of nightingalcs
and the roes of the most delicate fishes,
swallowed thousands of pounds at a
meal; and we need only multiply the
individual expense by the number
of the guests to form q
notion of the cost of high
class dinner in the days of the Caesars.
A supper in the Apollo meant one or
TWO tnOusand pounds thrown to the
purveyors. But the Emperors were
certainly the most reckless in the prof
ligacies of the table. Seneca and Taci-
tus are among the authorities who tell
US that Heliogabalus spent 100000 on
one supper; that Nero, master of 1.-The
Houseof Gold" ate a dish which cost
over ESQ, 900, and drank Jumper still
more precious. 1t is asserted further
that the Emperor Verus treated twelve
friends to feast which cost f46, 900,
and Seneca is responsible for the state
ment that Caligula spent fs0,OOO on a
supper. The magnifcence of the En-
perors was initiated, if not equaled. by
citizens like the Apicii; like Esop, the
actor, and his son Clonius; like Vedius
Polio, who fattened his lampreys on
the flesh of murdered slaves.-Nine-
teenh Century.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01
HUMOROUS.

Van Daub-"You are criticism.
this picture good deal Did you eve:
draw one?" Forker4-"Oh, yes" Van
Daub-.'And pray whereas Forker-
'ln rattle, me boy. Chicago Ram.
bier.
You have been arrested for
stealing from bakers wagon. What
have you to say in your defense?"
"Nothing, sor, except that the doctor
told me must eat stale bread for me
dyspepsy."-Boston Budget.
The election of Mr.. Lewis Bean as
president of the Philadelphia Break
fast Association is another example Of
the eternal fitness of things, although
it would have bean better if he were .
Boston man.-Detroit Free Press.
"A lady of charitable disposition
asked a tramp if she could not assist
Tim by mending his clothes. Eyes,
madam" he replied, II have button.
and if you would sew coat On it, Won
will greatly oblige me. ~. r. TEL
egram.
Miss Enthusiastically, dear.
what kind of a flower is that?" Mr..
Roseman Ga young collegian)-
Glove, that is not flower; it is a to-
bacco plant" ''Oh. how nice it must
look when the plugs are hanging ON
it. Judge.
"A little Rochester girl drew the
picture Of a dog and cat on her slate,
and calling her mothers attention to
it, said: "a cat oughtn't to have but
four legs, but drew it with six so she
could run away from the dog."-M Y
Commercial advertiser.
"A little Scotch boy, on being res
cued by bystander from the dock in
to which he had fallen, expressed
heartfelt gratitude, saying: I'm so
glad you got me DOT. What a lickin'
/ wad have frae my mither if had
been drooned!"- r journal.
-Patient-''Oh. doctor, you don't
know how it worries me to think that
/ might be buried alive" Doctor
'Calm yourself, Mrs. B. You need
have no fear of any thing like that.
Trust to me, and assure you that you
are in no danger" =
Say, Jones, there's no need for
you to be idle. There's ten thousand
hands wanted in q store on Chestnut
street" ''Sakes alive, man! To manu-
facture what?" Nothing why do
they want SO many hands?'' ITO wear
the gloves the firm is offering for SALE"
Call.
when / go a-shoppin'," said an
old lady, II alters asks for what I
wants, and If they have it, and it's
cheap, and it's suitable, and 1 feel in
clined to take it and it can't be got at
any place for less, / most alters take il.
without chafEering ali day, as most peo-
pie do. p-Boseon Gazette.
a woman was driving NAH into
the wall upon which to hang some 40.
nestle utensi), when she suddenly ut
tered ., howl Of anguish. ..Aissed the
nail, did your said her husband.
Missed the nail! d. Won
think I'd cry II had missed the nailP
hit the nail-but 'tis my thumb-uail' :
IN Z Ledger.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01
THE LETTER ar"

It Divides the United States in Three Dig
tinct and WelI-Defined Sections.
The use or misuse of the letter .'h'' in
England determines mans social po-
sition. He may drive in a carriage
with outriders in livery, and his wife
rustic in satin and glitter with Jewels,
yet if they say ''orse'' for horse and
''heye" for eye, their accommodation
from so-called polite society may be
taken for granted. Of course no one
VIII deny that many excellent English
men and women have led useful lives,
died and have gone to Heaven, who
never once put the .'h' where 1t prop
erly belonged, and were in every way
superior to those who could pronounce
it as Hamlet enjoins, ''trippingly ON the
tongue"
In the United States it is ..r'' that I'M
mistakably proves a mans origin. if
not his social standing and his moral
character. In New England and the
Middle States the natives have a Pc
culiar way of dislocating the potent
liquid. They detach it from words
like ''near" and dear" making them
''nea" and ''dea," and tack it on to
others like Judea and Isaiah and EN-
ma, making them, respectively, '.Ju-
dear" ''1saiaher' and ..Emmcr.
This. it has been argued, is fault
peculiar only to the uneducated classes.
But unprecedented and truthful OBJ
servers declare that they have heard it
from persons of unquestionable culture,
from lecturers, authors and clergymen,
even in the inmost sanctuaries Of Bos-
ton itself. In the West the Eastern
tourist is impressed by the manner in
which the ,'r" is rolled. 1t seems the
most prominent letter in the Westerns
alphabet; while in the South. it is heard
very rarely. The people, however, do
not initiate their Eastern fellow-cOun-
trymen by adjusting the balance, and
making the letter suffix where it is
wholly superhuous. And their soft,
musical tones make the fault rather
pleasing to ears accustomedt to catarrhal
gutterals and high nasal tones sharperx
ed by east winds. The side-show man,
the vender of patent medicines who
varies the monotOny of selling his nos
trums by strummidg upon battered
guitar, or saving an asthmatic fiddle;
the leading man of the travelling theat-
rical company, the ringmaster of the
perennial circus. the negro minstrel all
these drop the final ~ as an affecta-
ton of extreme gentility. We can
never hope to be really united people
until representatives from all sections
of the country meet in convention and
agree upon National pronunciation
of the letter s.r. "-InteriOr.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01

-. -.
-Deacon ,. ~. D,moeks o. nat saOses
Cenn-. Was recensty oven TO- 49, 49,,
N commemor.aon o. ny sevcn.y yc.l
membership Oh the Fliss OaPs'ss Snuac"
~ tn.s Guy.
-Mr. William L0veii. OF BRISTOL
Eng. has introduced . noveity IN sur
cloo y .ssolnP slng - n.n x -
tno uooI-. nocAeE % suI A NsxS u
younS wC"n VINO nau As''
marry MN"
Mayor Aing: OF fniiadeiPnis. con.
scientaousiy SOLD All ms raiirOa1 SUCK
before taxing once. ana thereby ioss
nfty tneusand COLLARS. snc sum ~ wnicn
their market value was lncfeaseoe ous-
ing MS term o. omce.-e"secSo O"".
MIR. Peter Burnham. the antigua.
Ran bookseller under the ''Na south.
who began business IN tsoston SHY yoan
ago a. veneer OF apples ana ooe,. -
wnlcn ne soon sd0e0 smait stocN U
books. mas now loo.Vo rare volumes.
and while ago sold the ios ON wnich
his old Dook-snoP STOOD ior $zoV'O-
Boston S0a1nos.
Johnny Walsh, the banjoist, whose
rendering OF ''Old Black Joe and the
Little Ole Log Cabin in de Lane. "
when those melodies frst came oue
some twelve or fifteen years age. mado
him one Ut the fav0rltes OF the variety
stage. Is now a Saivation Army cap
tam; Dut ne sun taxes MS oanJo aonS
with him.-C"scdgo 1T'oaae.
The new editor OF q New Mexican
paper remarks in his salutatOry that II
any one does not like the way the pa
per Is conducted and tries to make .
shooting-iron play on this ere editor.
we will give you some good advice
you better don't try it on. as this ere
editor has been q good while in the
far West and knows how to deal.
but II you desire 70 GO Dino' come OH
we Will straddie you ohno anu go 20"
one better.
The problem to be solved in jour
nalism is to make as good paper as
can be made and to sell it at price
within the reach of all. The people
want all the available news. not mere
condensations and head lines. They
want to get at q reasonably low-nOs
the lowest-price, clean newspaper. .
reliable source of news and knowl-
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01
WHAT CURED HIM.


Why . Dsu0msF Resolved e Ist Car
Window Severely Alone.
mo more raising windows for ladies
on cars for me-" exclaimed . well.
dressed Missouri drummer at the reg.
ular weekly meeting OF tho Travellers
Club. II know whom get enough of
q good thing. and don't want several
chapters Of . real good wholesome
lecture.
Never heard about my experienced
Well, I'll tell you about it, as it may
be . pointer for some of the younger
members. / hope they may profit BY
my experience. A girl can now suffo>
cate right in front Of me in . car. or
she can catch her death Of cold from
an open car window. and will not
bulge. recall the past and keep my
seat But my story.
"a few years ago l was coming out
Of Boston. The day coach was almost
deserted, as it was nearing Christmas
time, and people were not travelling
unless compelled to do so. At Wei
lesley, Mass, where they have girls
college, q crowd of pretty school girls
got on. They came into the sleeper
and had jolly COED time in picking
out their berthS Fortunately for me !
was dressed to kill, and had on
brand new suit ! just thought I was
too pretty to live, and dreamed of con-
quests and all that sort of thing. /
took them all in. and when q demure
little girl got into my section. l just
thought that things were coming my
way too nicely for any use.
~She looked kinder ashamed as she
took her seat directly in front of me,
and blushed crimson every time Hook
ed at her. Her companions were talk
ing with the conductor and porter, and
finally all of them, including two Off
Gals. took seats near my section.
1.-The little Quaker who assisted me
to occupy my section, after looking at
her companions and blushing some
what, made dash for the window. Of
course / offered to assist her. / knew
that there were double sashes, and that
the outer one would not open, but
thinking it an admirable way to start
conversation began. After lifting the
inner window asked her if she was
too warm. She replied in the affirm
alive. l opened the register at the top
of the car. then asked her if she was
not from school and received mono
syllable for reply. In fact, l kept,
on asking her questions and received
yes and mo- for answers. The other
occupants of the car were perfectly
quiet, and felt that my conversational
powers were being tested. l thought
I would be very smart, SO l said, in the
most prolonged tone:
Didn't your mother tell you not to
talk with strange gentlemen whom you
might meet on the tramp
'''No, sir, she replied, III the most
innocent way; she told me not to talk
with travelling men, as she knew that a
gentleman would not force converse
tion.'
.'Of course every body laughed, and l
felt very uncomfortable. as the joke
had been turned on me. Ifelt that my
clothes did not fit me. and knew that
/ did not appear to my best advantage.
In fact, would just as soon have been
out of the car, for l felt cheap, and
knew that the odds were against me.
got out at the next station. Since
that time have let the car windows
alone. st. Paul Globe.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01

"A Nebraska man who went to San
francisco wrote back to his friends:
I'VE had splendid party. There were
;wo old gentlemen from Nebraska.
eair of Colonels from Missouri, xcouple
II fellows from New York and . SON
,f-a-gun from Boston"
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01
STRIVING TO BE RICH.

Cody Contentment the True PhIloso-
piers Stone, TRANSMITTING Every Tl6ng
4 Into Gold.
The wish to be rich is natural and,
within limits. promotive of human
progress in ali directions But what il
it to be rich? To most people who
have little or nothing $4,000 would
.seom = fortune. To those who have
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01

"A wash for the complexion Is made
BY mixing well one ounce sweet almond
oil. one ounce glyeerine, and juice Of
three lemons. Apply alright and wash
OF in the morning with very warn
Water.-B Boston Globe.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01

Now that Washington has been
made postmaster at Bay City, and
Shakespeare at kalamazoo. it must b
admitted that Michigan is doing full
,onor to the men sf great nameA-
Detroit Free Press.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-01

During the past ten years over ten
million shad, artificially Matched. have
been placed in the rivers Of Georgia
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17
SOUTH SIDE

Conf agration Yesterday Afternoon The
Damage Light.
Yesterday afternoon about 2:5O an alarm
Of fire vas turned in from box No. 4, at
TIE corner Of Twenty Second and Main
streets, caused by en- incipient coDDagre-
tioa in a house belonging to the B. X D.
Railroad Company, situated st the foot Of
Tweuty.third street on the river bank. The
Niagara was on the spot and had water on
the building in o wonderfully short space
of time and when the balance OF the de.
partment arrived their services were not
needed. The house was occupied
By C. P. Mays and DR.. Sheet,
sud the fire originated in the ceiling Of the
latter genilemsn's kitchen from the stove
pipe The building is not much but an
old shell, and had the fire once gotten q
fair start it would have entirely consumed
the place in short time. A particularly IN.
fortunate feature of the fire wag that a lit
tie daughter or Mr.. Mays has been lying
on the point of death with lung fever, aud
Just as shs was being carried from the
house o stream of water strack her, and
the sudden drenching she received may
cause her death. The damage to furniture,
&c. will amount to about $50 or SIS,
while the house could not be damaged if it
we're 10 be torn down.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17
THE COMING CONVENTION
Of the A~malgamatsd Association OF
Iron Workers
To Be the Largest On Record Delegates
To Be Elected Here
Tonight.

This evening, Crescent Lodge OF the
AmalgamAtsd Association, will elect del
sgstes to represent it in the annual conSen-
tom of the order, which meets in Pittsburg
on the first day of June. The Ensville
lodges will probably hold their elections
during the coming week for the same Pur'
pose. Each lodge is entitled to one repre-
sentative Tor 100 members or less, two del
egates for l25, and an additional delegate
for every 100 over that number. The AS
~socisiion has grown very rapidly duflng
tba interval since the last convention, sno
is o thought to be four times as strong
a. q year ago. The representatives are
elected By the ~sub-lodges at the last regu'
lar meeting in April. Alternate delegate:
are also elected il order to insure a repre-
sentative, in case the delegate elect 10 unable
| IN attend. There is generally a lively tlm'
| AT these elections, owing TO the differences
existing betHeen the puddiers and hnish
ers. which promises to be greater tnsr
usnal this e OF the two factions, Tn
DulQkerS, as q RUE, COmo WV
bsirg in the majority. These two CLASSES
Il Workmsn are divided into separate
lodges in large mills, and in that way Sc
cure a representative at the conventions
II the membership of q sub!odge Is !arg!'
enough to warrant two delegates. there Il
no trouble, as a puddler aud q hnisher ar
elected. =, :,
Yesterdays Pittsburg Dispatch said WIT
reference to the meeting:
The convention will De held IN the ne'
Turner Hall, on Forbes street. Ampl
accommodations will be prepared for IN
large body of delegates expected. Airead
there is talk Of an advance in wsges oelDj
demanded, out thus far nothing NOR
than restoration of the S.. 80 per ton rat
for boiling on q q cent card, making tins
rate the limit, has been decided upol
Some members talk OF an additional &C
vance, bot no definite action has yet bee
taken"
The session promises to be a sery int
estipg one for ircn workers AM manufs'
turers alike.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17
Unnecessary Violence,

For which outraged nature exaets heavy penalties
Is done to the bowels By persons who With drastic
dreashiBg puryadyes make war on those organs in
order to relieve their constitution. Constipation ID
not one Of those desperate diss2Ses that require
desperate remedies. In fact, IL Is not 4 disease n
all, the incomplete discharge Of q ~fnnction, to the
heAlthful reReWal OF which Hcstetters stomach
Bntsn Is far better adapted tnan drugs, whose
action II excessive, and consequently deoiliIating
and injurious. Disorder of the liver, eontsmins-
ton OF the blood with bile, sick headaches and
dyspeptlc symptoms are the attendants o, costIye-
ness, ard are hkeSise remsdied by the bitteJs. Its
action is not limited TO relieving the bowels nstur-
and Is directed, IL perpetuStes regularity In the
habit Of body. and in the operations OF the oiges-
live organs and liver. Fever and ague, rheumatism
and Kidney troables are prevented and cured By II.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17
Theatrical Baseballists,

An interesting game of base bali wai
played yesterday afternoon BY two mines
made up of members ofthe Maggie Mitch
ell and Frank Chanfrau Companies. A
plumber Of the ladies of both companies
were present, and enjoyed the game hugely,
at various times cheering their respective
champions. When the game closed at 5
o'clock the score stood 10 to II. An
amusing and interesting feature of the
afternoon was q foot race between Mr..
0dell Williams OF the Chanfrau Company,
and Mr.. Asa Booth of the Phoenix. Both
gentlemen are heavy weights, and the
race, which was o quarter Of a mile, was
exciting. Mr.. Booth came in under the
wire twenty yards behind.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17

OF sp ecuIators In Grain and Provisions,
Petroleum, Stocks and Bonds,
Ia called to the card Of C. S. Persbing,
Broker, which appears in our financial
columns.
A STRICTLY COMMISSION BUsIEEss
is done. A finely furnished Office has
been fitted up at 1920 market street, hsv-
ing unsurpassed facilities. with a private
Office, which can be entered without going
through the main office.
The full markets from New York Stock
Exchange, Chicago Board OF Trade, and
Oil Exchanges are received every minute
BY private wire, and continuous quotations
posted.
Orders BY mail, telegraph, telephone, or
messenger, are respectfully collected and
promptly executed. Orders from sur
rounding towns will receiveimmediste and
special attention. The telegrspbic facilities
cannot be excelled. Orders can be filled
in two minutes time, and often less.
Being connected with first class houses
on the different Exchanges, and receiving
fuIl market reports daily, together with the
leading financial papets,
SCorT's On REPORT
of the operations in the Washington
| county and other oil fields every morning,
and any financial news OF any moment,
renders his Office an attractive feature &c
those interested in such matters Gentle
men, whether operators or not, are re
ouested to call and see the facilities ct
forded, which will convince any u thai
they far surpsss any effort previously made
10 this city.
sNALLlS kRS
of Any size and on sul amount OF margin
that customers may desire to deposit arr
received, and the sue attention 10 2iver
them as to large o.ders.
By a system of stop orders, operators
are not responsible beyond the amount o
margins deposited. All profits are paid a
the Tina OF closing a trade, without an!
delay, or at the farthest by the next day
A special feature of the Office will be tn
fact of its being
OPEN IN THE EVENINGS
from 1880 to 800 o clock, to snoro genue
men engaged during the day an opportun
itY 10 see sll the changes OF the markets
all of which are left on the bulletin boards
Parties wishing any information are re
. ouested to call or write; correspondent
solicited.
l The office is connected by TELEPHONY
} with all Subscribers in Wheeling and sui
/ rounding towns. 3,
/ References can be furnished to those d.
string them.
The present low price Of grain aud Pre-
visions, together with
THE ACTIVITY
in the oil and stock markets, makes tn
present a favorable time to operate.
E Mr.. Pershing will be pleased to send a
explanatory circular free to any address
, and with some eight years experience
; feels he csn guarantee perfect satistactio
in the execution of any business entruste
to his care.
The office being well bscked..fnancialll
is not q mere experiment, but is here I
stay, and is an enterprise that should b
appreciated.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17
Accide n

Mr.. William Coleman, . former resident
Of East Wheeling, but who is now residing
on Big,,WheeliDg creek, in Marshall county
met with q peculiar and distressing acct
dent q few days ago. One Of This cows had
burt herself and wss lying down in the sta,
bic. Mr. Coleman stopped over her head
to examine her, whe2 the animal suddenly
raised her head, and the point Of one OF bel
horns penetrated his eye, completely goug
iuQ IL out.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-04-17

Dur Ally Chronicle OF the Movemneti
of Individual.
MIS-, Kate G 4rver returned lat evening
from a vsit o Pitt o1rg.
Mrs. Fra,k Bob is lying dangerously
i'll at the S. james Hotel.
Elk Senst;r FCnssin S NTH, Of Marion
county, wss in the city yesterday.
Mr.. A. j. Cecil, VITO has been spending
the winter With his family in the South,
will return home odsy.
The genial face of editor j. NJ. Burchi-
nal of the Moundsville Herald, shone up
N US yesterday evening.
Miss Lou Garrsrd, who has been visiting
Mrs. VIM. Schvertteger, on the South Side
has returned TO her hom8.
Mr.. John Newton, oae OF Wheeling's
best callers, leaves to-day to &C ept q posi-.
ton at his trade in another city.
Mrs. P. Z linn has arrived home from
a three months visit TO her daughter, Mrs
J. A. Williams, OF Moundsville, near Bos'
ton, Mass.
Rev. DR.. Bond Of RsvensEood, arrived
in the city last night, and will remain over
SUNDAY. preaching morning and evening
at the First Baptist Church.