davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

A great advantage in the hygienic treat
ment of disease is that it does not, or at
least need not, interfere with sound and
experience proved modes of treatment of
a medicinal kind. The scientific physi
clan finds, in fact, that there is always
consistent plan for combining the medic
inal and hygienic systems. lie sees that
the two systems are one; he sees, further,
that the mere medicinal plan without tho
hygienic is in all cases imperfect and in
some cases worse than imperfect. The
practical details OF hygienic medicine in
relation to the treatment of disease have,
however, yet to be wrought out moro
fully. This will be sure work, but neces-
sarily slow, because it is hard to give up
old friendships in dosmatisin, while to
effect cure in n sick man by fresh air
alone, or diet, is infinitely less satisfac-
tory to the public than to assume to
effect the same cure even by bread pill.
DR.. Richardson in Popular Science
Monthly.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
Don't Try to BE Funny.

Corwin of Ohio, tom Corwin," as
every one called him. was natural VIII,
and his reputation as a humorous speaker
was better established than that OF any
other man in congress or in the country
One evening, after he had delivered q
speech at political meeting in Ohio
which had been highly complimented, he
seemed dissatisfied with himself, and
finally said to those around him in his
room: 81 feel in the mood just now to
give few words of advice to you young
men, which | hope may influence your
future lives. Let Inc say to you, in sober
earnestness, don't try to be funny, like
me. You could doubtless make better
clowns than have made of myself, but
don't try. / shall regret to my dying day
that | ever said funny thing. The
world will laugh ut me; but the world
despises the clown at last. | can do moth
ing else. When speech is announced to
be made by Tom Corwin, everybody eX-
poets q clownish performance, and any
thing else would not be tolerated.
81 am RELOCATED to the circus ring for
the rest of my life. Whether | feel seri-
Gus, sad or happy, it is all the same-it
must be u funny speech; and | know it,
and yield to this popular prejudice and
clamor and go on making fool of my
self, and shall continue to do so to the
end of my career. The man who talks
as / do never gets any credit for any solid
attainments; he is never looked upon as
statesman; and if he gets any political
prefermcnt it is only as sort OF joke,
and not because he is supposed to be
statesman. If a man could talk funny
when he felt like it, and talk sense at
other times, or if it were possible to make
people understand that he was only crack.
ing joke to amnse them, it might do
but that is not the way in which the
world is constituted. A man must be
funny or WISE You may rise higher il
the 10 lg run to be wise. This reputation
| of mine hangs about my neck like the
body of death. 1t is the Nemesis which
will haunt me to my grave. Shun II
while you may" These remarks made {
great impression upon the young men tt
whom they were addressed, and when
Mr. Corwin had concluded, they were a:
silent as though they had been in attend
ance upon funeral. Ben; Perley Poore
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

have seen Paris in the height of its
imperial splendor all gilt and tinsel, saw
dust and spanglcs, when the court was a
debauch and the government was stock
jobber, and fashion was a strife who
could live the fastest; | have seen it in
the dust and ashes of national disaster
newly come out of the valley of DEATH
yet wet with blood and tears; and have
seen it young republic, struggling for
existence against every kind of enemy,
exterior and interior; and with every
change in its fortune 1t has been the same
old seven-an d-sixpence, happy go-lucky
don't-care-a-cent-f or-eXpenses, nowyou-
see-it-and-now-you-do n't, always ready to
see company, and just as self-satisfled
and lively in one lone chicken feather as
in an ostrich plume, singing, laughing,
dancing, cheating and courtesying, cajol-
ing and flattering, lending and spending,
swearing, flghting, crying, and, in short,
enjoying itself; not so rich, perhaps as
it has been, but not whit diminished in
the wondrous shine and flow of its ami
NAL spirit. 1t reveres nobody and vene-
rates nothing.-Henry Watterson.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

The Honduras consul at New York
says that in his country 1t does not make
man general merely to have been in
command Of some forces. TO be made
general he must have commanded in bnt-
ties where he was under fire. Fighting
in Central America is as dangerous as
elsewhere, but the list of the casualties
is not long, because the number of com
batants is not great. A fight where
twenty men are killed is called battle.
The loss Of twenty fighting men means
u great deal to Central American army,
which Is not so large as half of United
States regiment. A fight is pleasure to
q Central American. He goes into it
with joy and he comes out with exulta-
ton They are not a pugnacious people,
nor are fist fights frequent. To join an
expedition is their dissipation. They grid
on their clothes, shoulder their muskets,
roll their cigarettes, and run along with
an expedition rs if it was a show.-Chi-
cago Herald.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
Reports of Newspaper Circulation.

There is no public faith in the accuracy
of the daily reports of newspaper circula-
ton which have been Published in many
journals. Even when sworn to they are
not believed, for the reason that they
may be honestly sworn to and yet be
lar ,ely false, Any number Of papers
may be printed and distributed and
sworn to as circulation; but how many
are returned? how many are not sent to
bona fide readerss If the cash payments
for circulation were honestly sworn to,
the honest circulation would be reached;
but no newspaper has ever attempted
that only honest test of bona iide readers.
Purchases by political committees; spe-
cial sales to advertisers, which are often
made at nominal prices to give the ap-
pearance of circulation specimen papers
sent free through canyassers or by mail
to introduce the paper bear no relation to
bona ildc newspaper circulation, and
journals which specially force and boost
circulation always withhold from their
public figures the large percentage of
papers not read or paid for.-Philadel-
phia Times.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
Preserving Their Family Names.

There have Of late been frequent allus-
ions in the newspapers to the proprlety OF
married women preserving their family
names as middle names. There has been
quite u general expression favorable to
their doing so, and the fact that the
presidents wife signs her name Frances
Folsom Cleveland, and Mrs. Ulysses
Grant, ST. General Grants widow,
signs hers Julia Dent Grant" and
her sons wife, Mrs. Fred Grant,
signs hers Ida EIonore Grant" is
quoted to give their examples as
a further argument in favor of the
practice. But this, it seems, is far from
being wholly matter of fashion, as many
women seem to suppose. Ii has legal
side; and real estate agent in Wash
ington, who has lately suffered much
from the results OF the whims of some OF
his feminine clients Al changing their
names at will, without taking any steps
to legalize the changes, and yet afflxing
the revised names to deeds of sale of real
estate, has been commenting with some
severity upon the Observation-Disclosures
Cor. lfarper's Bazaar.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
SNUFF Taking and the Voice,

Gen. Dearborn of Boston was guest at
this dinner to Lafayette. At that day,
gentlemen, especially lawyers, were
much in the habit of taking snuff, and
in this habit the general had so long in
obliged, and to such excess, that he had
almost 1tirely lost his voice. Mr.. Clay
was also iond of snuff, SO fond that he
would never carry box, lest he should
indulge the habit TO such excess as to in
jure his voice, his splendid, silver toned
melodious voice. There was, however, o
tobacco store on the avenue where he
usually stopped on passing to get pinch
of fine Maccaboy. Passing the place the
morning after the great dinner, in COM
pany with Gen. Dearborn, he stopped, as
usual, inviting his friend in to test the
quality of Mr.. Tobacconist's snuff As
they were snufflng away, Gen. Dearborn
remarked that snuff injured some men g
voices, "but,' said he, with what little
vocal power snuff had left him, sit has
never affected mine in the least" Mr..
Clay used to relate this anecdote with
great humor, initiating in doing so, Gen.
Dearborn's piping tones, to the infinite
amusement of his company Perley
pOOre
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

81 saw her," said one of Queen Vic
toria's subjects, "before SIZE was queen,
when she was only n princess. remem-
Der right well the occasion on which
many thousands came to say good-by to
Sir Walter Scott who had been given a
mission to Italy more on account of his
broken health than anything else, l
fancy. He was in an open barouche, his
head resting on his cane. A greyhound
was on his right and his favorito stag
hound on his left. He was nodding to
everybody on either side, The royal fam
lily were out, and that was the first time
| saw Victoria. She was dressed in a
short, Scotch plaid frock, low neck and
short sleeves. That was-let me sec
about 1lfty-four years ago.-Chicago Her
AID
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
MIR. GIadstone's Fighting Qualities.

Men say he never fights better than
when the battle is desperate. With n
courage born of the most complete con-
viction that stopped at no risk and no
labor, with an alertness that took in the
whole field, with m cloquence which daz-
zled even his enemies like very CDur
dc Lion he fought almost single handed
the unequal fight, At distance looking
at him it would seem wholly beyond his
physical powers. Close at hand his face
is marked, indeed, with the lines and
wrinkles of many campaigns, and you
see before you still an old man, but you
see also what at distance you miss, that
the lines arethe lines of endurance and
hardy streneth,more than of weakness
and old age.-Seth Low in Brooklyn
MagnZinc.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

The demand for Italian flowers is in
creasing year by year, and season after
season the inhabitants of the Riviera
are planting more flowers where for
merly they grew olives and grapes. This
is particularly the case in the neighbor-
hood of Nice, Cannes, Grasse, and Men
tone. From the beginning Of November
till the end of May, 1855, 10000 boxes Of
fresh flowers were sent away from the
Nice railway station, the value of the
flowers being $3.50, coo. One of the coun-
tries which have taken hint from Italy
is Germany, which is at present diligently
endeavoring to cultivate for the manu-
facture of scents, large quantities of roses,
violets, lavender, and rosemary New
York SIM
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

In the picture galleries of Boston may
be seen amateur copyists, many of whose
productions are wonderful results OF
color. At one easel a matronly lady was
Mt work recently upon figure which was
apparently goddess The tints were
vivid and the impression placid, but
there Sc emed to be peculiar effect
about the hands. Upon examination it
was discovered that the copyist, in u mo-
ment of inspiration, had endowed her
goddess with six fingers for one hand
RostOnJournnl
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

l do not lay claim to the grammar
championship or anything like it, but
dread to meet the man who having had
the advantages of the public school or
college in his youth, insists upon violating
the simplest rules of correct speaking on
the least p-ovocation. heard him make
a speech at ward meeting the other
evening. Hardly a sentence of his har
angue was grammatical. He said 'he
don't" for che doesn't" dozen times in
ten minutes, and he declared chats
him" for that's he'' in ten successive
sentences. l allude to these two lapses as
samples merely of the oratory of man
who is reputed to be an educated member
of his profession. He ought to go to night
school the coming winter and be taught
good grammar There are many other
men just like him.-Cor. Chicago Jour
nal
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
A Variety of Shooting,

The sportsman of the northwest has no
mutterings to make over his variety of
shooting. He can go into eastern Ore
gon and shoot prairie chickens, and fish
to his hearts content. Within two hours
travel of the metropolis of the north
Pacific coast he can shoot within twenty
four hours elk, bear, panther, deer
grouse, pheasant, geese, quail, pigeon,
mallard, duck, widgcon, canvasback,
gray duck, bluebill, and snipe, besides
swan and sand hill crane.-Portland Ore
0onian.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
Easy Way Of Making Money.

An ingenious Frenchman has discov-
cred an easy way of making a living
He stays In the neighborhood of registry
Offices and is always ready to serve for q
small fee as witness, whoever comes to
register o birth, marriage or death. The
Englishman who was known to be within
call whenever dinner party numbered
thirteen, and something must be done
to avert bad luck, had perhaps q more
agreeable occupation. Trans
crtpt
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

Kindly OLD Lady-What's the matter, lit
tie boy7
Little Boy Crying bitterly)-I jes lost fl
cents.
Kindly Old Lady giving him nickeD-
Well, here is five cents more for you, SO
don't cry. How did you lose it!
Little Boy feeling better)-I lost it pitchin'
pennies. -Harper's Bazaar
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
In the Comedy Of Life.

There nre certain individuals who arc
forever playing in the comedy Of the Lone
Fisherman. They are utter strangers to
you, but you will meet them day after
day, In different places each time, end
finally are forced to feel that the coinoi-
dence is most remarkable. In q lifetime
they may cross your path q hundred
times, and be unknown to you forever
Pioneer Press Listener"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

Over 500, 600, 900 was spent in building
the 1876 steamships plying between here
and Europe. They employ $3.50 men,
spend 81, OOO, 900 q month for coal, carry
500, 900 passengers year, and earn e22, :
600, 900 for passage money, exclusive Of
what Is paid for freight.
Ell youse'got emmy thing to do, do bes'
way IL ter go en- do 1t. Oars mo- batter
time ter kill de hen den when she's tat
Detroit Free Press.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

Young lady (rending card just brought
in)-Mr. Frank S. S. Smith.
Young man (who dislikes the interrupt
tion-Dear mol his mother must have
suffered when he was christenedl-
Harper's Bazaar.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
AN uNpeRToNE.

A syllable of dew that drips
From out lily's laughing lips
Could not be sweotsr than the word
/ listened to, yet never heard.
For, oh, tho woman hiding there
Within the shadows OF her hair
Spake to me in an undcrtone
So delicate, my soul alone
But understood ii as moan
OF some weak melody Of wind
A heavenward breeze had left behind.
james Whitcomb Riley.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

De po'est thing in dis worl' ter base yer
hopes on is good looks. De cuckle-burr
is green long arter de flower Is dun killed
by de frost. -Arkansaw Traveller.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
From England to Trance.

A steamer with stirring screw has
Just cut the water that rolls 'twiXt Dover
and Calais in fifty-eight minutes. That
is how far England and France are apart.
-Chicago Herald.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

Did any careful scientist ever compute
tho number of revolutions particularly
obnoxious fly can make at times around
the head Of q man. when very busyi-Sew
York Graphic.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

Now's the time the fakir hummer,
Looks on days of Indian summer,
With an awful, grisly, sickly kind Of doubt.
He Is infinitely GUNNER.
Than boycott blasted plumber,
For his overcoat Is pushed clear up the spout
It'd B1ta
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08
The Famous Albert Lea Route

Thoroughly cleanse the blood. which Is the
fountain of health, by using Dr.. Pierce's Gold
en- Medical Discovery, and good digestion, q
fair skin, buoyant spirits, vital strength, and
soundness of constitution will be established
Golden Medical Discovery cures all humors,
from the common pimplc, blotch, or eruption,
to the worst Scrofua. or od-poison. Es-
pecially has it proven its efficacy in curing
Salt-rheum or letter, Fever-sores, Hip-jont
Disease. Scrofulous Sores and Swcllings, En-
larged Glands. and Eating Ulcers.
Golden Medical Discovery cures Consump-
ton (which ia Scrofula of the Lungs), by it's
wonderful hlood-purifying. inyigorating, and
nutritive properties. For Weak Lungs, Spit
ting of Blood, Shortness of BREATH Bronchitis,
Severe Coughs. Asthma, and kindred anec-
TONS 1t is sovereign remedy. 1t promptly
cures the severest Coughs.
For Torpid Liver. Biliousneee, or Liver
Complaint. pyspepsia' and indieestion. .. u .
DIR. PIERCE,s PELLETN - Anti.
Bilious and CothoYttc.
&c. q vial, by druGxistA
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

About year ago he observed strange change
In his feelings. He felt tired instead OF yieor
GUS nervous instead of strung. His appetite
became poor and his sleep broken. He tried
b. overcome these feelings, but they would not
go. He then noticed pains and |, ritation In the
water channels, and that the fluids passed
were often thick and with scum on top or u
brick-dust sediment at the bottom All these
we're the sure symptoms Of that fearful disease
Cutarrh of the Bladder, which has al ways been
considered iDcurahle, and they continued un.
I'LL the Captain was in terrible condition.
But he Us the picture OF health and vigor to-day,
und he owes 1t entirely to that wonderful med
icine, Hunts Remedy. Capt. Greenwood Gays:
II am certain of the great value OF Hunt \
Remedy. that always carry supply on snip
board for the use OF my men, and | prescribe
II whenever they are ailing. Alter curing me
IA 1t did, restoring my wife. twhom the hest
hysicians of New York said was dying OF
tumor,J TO perfect health, I swear by II 9"
This Great Remedy ABSOLUTELY cures all Kidney
Liver and Urinary Dieeases.
For Sale by all Dealers.
&. N, CRIT ENTON, General Agent.
11J Fulton ST.. N. Y.
Send for pamphlet HUNTS Remedp Co., Precedence n. ]
45tf
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

Prince Bismarck is named as sole heir
by q rich Mexican bachelor lately dead.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-12-08

IS uAAcQuAiaT1o VITA THE GEOGRAPHY OF T-is
LI..1 a4 VIM SEE ny EXAMINING 1AIa MAP 1AAr INE
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-03-22

one form OF evil, sometimes anotherform
of evil. But it may be resisted, it has
been resisted. If the family frailty be
avarice, cultivate unsc0fshness and
charity and teach your children never to
eat an apple without offering somebody
else half of it. Is the family fraity
combatyenes keep out of the company
OF quck-tempered people, and never
answer to impairment question until you
have counted one hundred both WAYS
and after you have written an angry letter
keep 1t week before you send it, and
then burn 1t up! Is the family frailty
tlmidity and cowardice, cultivate back
bone, read the biography of brave men
like Joshua or Paul, and see if you can
not get little iron IN your blood. Find
out what the family trailty is, and set
body, mind and soul in battle array.
think the genealogical table was put
In the first chapter OF the New TIES ameut.
not only to show our Lords
pedigree, but to show that man
may rise up in an ancestral line and beat
back successfully all the influences of bad
Incredibly See in that genealogical table
that good King Asa came Of vile King
Alba. See In that genealogical table that
Joseph and Mary and the most illustrious
Being that ever touched our world, or
ever Will touch it, had In their ancestral
line scandalous Rehoboam and Thamar
and Bathsheba. II this world is ever TO
be Edenized--and 1t will be---all the in
fected families of the earth are to be re-
generated, and there will some one arise
lu each family line aud open a new genoa.
logical table. There will be some Joseph
In the line to reverse the evil
influence of Rehoboam, and there
viii be some Mary in the line
to reverse the evil influence of Bathsheba
ternaps the star OF hope may point down
to your mangey, Perhaps you are to be
the hero or the heroine that is to put
down the brakes and stop that long train
OF genealogical tendencies and switch il
ON on another track from that on which
1t has been running for century. You
do that, aud | will promise YOU as line n
palace as the architects of heavens can
build, the archway Inscribed with
the words; "More than conqueror.n
But whatever your her,dity, let me say.
you may be SONS and daughters of the
Lord God Almighty. Estranged children
from the homestead come back through
the open gate OF adoption There is ROYAL
blood IN our veins There are crowns on
our escutcheOn. Our Father Is kim
Our Brother is King. We may be kings
ana queens unto God forever Come and
SIT down on the ivory bench Of the palace
Come and wash IN the fountains that fan
into the basins of crystal and
alaoaster. Come and look ont
OF the upholstered window unon
gardens OF azalea and amaranth. Hear
the full burst OF the orchestra while Won
banquet with potentates and yictors. oh.
When the text sweeps backward, let it not
stop at the cradle that rocked yonr in
fancy, but at the cradle that rocked the
nrst world, and when the text sweeps for.
ward, let 1t not stop at your grave, but At
the throne on which You NAV reign for.
ever and ever "Whose son art thon
thou young man7n Son OF God Hair ~
mortality Take your inheritancel
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-03-22
A Revolution in Prices at A. Stsrti
Gun Store, FOG Main.

a h6fOlu LlOu III FIlCbS ~ n. bteiti
Gun Store, FOG Main
Winchester Rifles, $3.50; Coils a..
proved Lightning, Sl7.0Oi Marlin iQbQ X
iles. SlS75, Spencer Repeating shcl6nls
fire six times In three aeeonds, y per csnt
of list prices; English and American b' sss,
and muzzle- loaders, from is,M 70 issl
Colts blue and Rubber % pistps, ,isH
Smith & Wesson pistols, d a. A. sleIi
cal. $3.50; Powder Hazard per p y, ~
SS.75; Shot, per % y. sack, sl,6Oi WgslA
holm and other cutlery at bottom piiees1,
loo pat ems to select from;. 4 splrnus
3 bladed Wostenholm hunting knife senl
any address for sl,25; Fishing Iaezls ~
every description. Goods shipped y Ivy
address In the United states' Az elss,
from strangers must be accoInpsn ns.s, y
sufficient money to cover express en w,,.
each way, or satisfactory references, nns
me for catalogue; can save you nVnsi y
the smHllest article.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-03-22

Mr.. Hodge knew fan well the danger
awaiting the next train, the passenger
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-03-22

record stand Stemitx games, Zuker-
tort 4. znkertcrt says his 18th move,