davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Splitting Ten-DOllar Bills.
Baltimore Sun-

4 new departure in the way of counter
feiting money was brought to light at the
United States. b-treasury in Baltimore
few days ago. A somewhat worn $40
government bill was presented at the
cashiers window with a request for
change, which was given. The note was
sent to Washington as mutilated currency,
and was returned with the information
that one side of the note was good, but
the other side was a we'll executed counter
felt of the original. 1t was found that a
$40 bill had been split, the face being
separated from the back, seemingly i'm
possible undertaking. The original face
with a counterfeit back had been used
and it is quite likely that genuine back
with we'll executed counterfeit face had
been passed IN some other quarter. The
portion of the note was worth exactly its
proportion of the whole, or in other
words, S..
More recently another 80 ''front" was
presented at the cashiers window, with
similar request for change. The clerk at
the window, suspecting the bill, told the
man Who handed it in to wait moment
until he could consult DIR. Bishop, the sub
treasurer. DR.. Bishop recognized in the
note the familiar game, and said it was
worth S.. When the clerk returned to
window, however, the man had left with
out waiting for his change. The sub
treasury, which was out So on the first
transaction was eyened up by the second.
This system of manipulating paper
money is perhaps one of the most dan
gerous forms of swindling ever attempt
ed. One Or more genuine fronts" mix
ed with several whole notes would be Ii
able to deceive expert bank tellers. The
face bearing undoubted proof of genu-
ineness, very few would be apt to exam
inc the backs of all the notes, unless
something in the feel of the paper might
arouse suspicion. Then should any one,
especially if not SO expert as a bank
teller, happen to strike the counterfeit
side and have his doubts about the notes,
a glance at the other side would possibly
set at rest all questions.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Gen. Grants Horses.
Chicago Times.

Gen. Grant was particularly proud and
fond of his stud of horses. His war charg-
er was an especial favorite. He took
great delight in exhibiting his horses to
his friends with whom he was intimate.
Once at his stables with friend he said:
perhaps you would like to see the horse
rode during all the campaigns COM
manded?" The animal was ordered to
be brought out. The gentleman was sur
prised to find the horse no larger than
a lady's paIfrey-small, slender, agile
limbed, black as coal, Intelligent, mild,
an eye like a hawk, and lick on the
name for all the world like boys cow
lick 1t was such an animal as women
and children would make into family
pet. The gentleman pronounced the
animal a beauty, but expressed doubt
as to its powers of endurance. "E ndur-
ance!' said the general. "This animal
exceeds in endurance any horsefesh !
ever saw. l have taken him out at day
light and kept in the saddle till dark, and
he came in as fresh when [ dismounted
as when we started in the morning. He
is an imported horse of fine breed and
was once on JEFF Davis plantation"
This was just before Davis was caught,
and the visitor said: II presume you
would exchange the horse for JEFF
Davis?" "You have said it, exclaimed
Grant; IT would exchange him for his
old master, but for nothing else in the
world
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21

taken, which leads down a steep decline
far below the former rooms to the fairy
bridal chamber where the elk's head
man on horseback, rocky mountain sheep
etc., are strikingly sculptured in the
rocks. The temperature of the cave is
about 81 degrees, the same the year
round.
One can casually examine the cave in
an hour, though to see all the chambers
several would be required, and altogeth
er gives the novice good idea of the
chemical workshops underg round, and
the forming, reforming and disintegra-
tlon that Is continually going on. The
cave of the Winds is not far from the
brand caverns, in Williams canyon, and
IS equally worthy a visit The rooms,
though smaller, are ornamented with a
greater variety of formations which are
larger and in many instances more at
tractlVe than those in the cave of Ute
pass.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Queer Humanity.
Harper'S Bazaar.

Every American who has travelled
abroad knows that English men and wo-
men of established position are habitu-
ally brusque to strangers, interiors or
equals, while in private houses they are
sometimes capable of a cool imperti-
hence which astonishes an American lady
of fortune and position, who for years
had made every properly accredited Eng
Hsh man and woman welcome to her beau
tltul home and cultivated circle, passed
three months at well known English
water cure with her invalid husband In
the house were several English people of
rank, friends and relatives of whom she
had entertained in this country. Not one
of them recognized her existence in any
way not even by good morning" on
the stairs or bow in the gardens, their
position being that they did not go to
cure" to make acquaintance.
In three months" said the lady, 1.-The
creaking of my own boots was the only
cheerful sound l head, and 1 was cured of
a belief in the courtesy of the English
peerage."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
She Carried Her Point


Il want to speak to you moment, ;"
said woman to a Dakota judge, just af
ter court had adjourned. My husband is
on the jury, and I want you to excuse
him"
"That would be impossible madam;
the case is nearly finished, and if L should
do that We would have TO begin all over
again"
But his work is being neglected, and
he ought to be at home"
every likely; but [ can't let him CO."
"One of the children is sick
GAS long as it is not dangerous he will
have to stay"
eve are out of wood and -four, and"
"You will have to arrange somehow,
madam; your husband can't get away at
present"
"But judge, one of the horses is very
sick"
(Which one?"
"The roam"
''That big roam that 1 saw him driv-
ing?"
eyes"
''Well, well, that's too bad. [ hate to
let your husband go but he ought to be
at home at such time as that, I suppose.
Say, you havn't tried nux vomica, 1 sup
poses"
"No."
cts the best stuff made for sick
horse Just wait amoment till get my
hat and I'll walk over with you and your
husband and help him give the horse
some"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
A Strange Man.
TayaS SjftiI1US

Il am just disguised with that young
lawyer who called last night"
''What has he been doing now?"
He tried to kiss me and | told him to
behave himself or would call for assist
ance."
'.And he kissed you, nevertheless"
mo, he didn't even make another at
tempt-the miserable donkeJ. He is one
of the strangest men | ever saw"
Jay Gould is personally much attach
ed to Mr.. Hoxie. The millionaire has
found the tall, thin, nervous Hoxie one OF
The most reliable, one of the most enter
pricing railroad managers with whom he
has ever associated.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
PLANTATION when citizen halted and said

pldudtlOu Wnon clllZou matted ana SAID
to the dealer:
"Oh, yes, you sent that stove-pipe up
yesterday"
"Yes, SIR
-Four links and an elbow.'
Eyes, sir
''Told me I wouldn't have any trouble
in fitting the ioints!''
''I-I think did,
think! Why, blast your old swind-
ling vocation, you know you did! You
said a boy 10 years old could put it up
in fifteen minutes! Not one internal
join would go together, though [ work
ed for three hours. Don't you ever speak
TO me again-never! I do admire sharp
thief, but I have no respect for an old
Hart"
"Why didn't you punch his head? %
queried the reporter as the man passed
on.
''Why don't 1 punch half the heads in
town." asked the dealer just as a second
to say:
"You can send up for that stove
pipe"
eyes, SIR
"That stove-pipe 1 logged home last
night"
Il remember"
"That stove-pipe over which sweat
and swore until midnight and then mash
ed fat and flung into the alley"'
ETH send for it,"
"And I could have mashed you with it,
you old glib-tongued hypocrlte Send
for ii! Remove it! Don't never look
another honest man in the facet"
mo, sir. I never will" replied the
dealer as he opened his door to escape a
third man with blood in his eye coming
across the street.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
THE BRAVEST BATTLE.
JOAQUIN MILLER.

The bravest battle that ever was fought
Shall l tell you where aud when?
On the maps of the world you will find 1t not
Twas fought by the mothers Of men.
Nay, not with cannon or battle shot,
With sword or nobler pen;
Nay, not with eloquent word, or thought,
From mouths OF wonderful men,
But deep in walled up woman's heart
OF women that would not yield,
But bravely, silently bore her part
Lo there is that battle field
No mar5haling troop. no bivouac song;
Flo banner to CLEAN and wave,
But, oh these battles last so long
From babyhood to the grave!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Felt T0lera bly, Safe.
Wall Street News

Wall Street News.
"James," he said, as he looked over TO
his son, what does the paper say about
our exports and imports? Which Is the
biggest?" ;,
Il can't see anything here about them"
"Anything about Jay Gould?"
'Not word"
''Well, then, James, guess you can go
down to Sweets tomorrow and order you
a pair of them 81 boots. l guess the
country will remain level for couple of
weeks to come"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
ROSES.
soMERvILLE JOURNAL /.
Nature has fashioned as fair

Nature has fashioned as fair
Which of her posies?
Man in his choicest parterre
Treasures his roses.
Rose of the garden, by man beguiled
Thou hast grown double in art;
Sweet, single rose of the woodland wild,
can see straight to thy heart.
Dearest art thou when the day
Wanes in the vest,
Luring young lovers to stray
Forth in thy quest.
Till with her golden heart signing perfume,
Her cheek faint flushing above,
They have found anG pIucked the perfec
bloom
OF the deathless rose of love.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Dis-JOinted Joints.
Detroit Free Press.

"There comes anotherr' said the hard
ware dealer as he suddenly interrupted
a conversation about the state of the
iron market and tried to hide his body
behind that of the reporter. The latter
was on the point of asking for an ex-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
They Were Selling Names.
Omaha World.

American Artist-What do you think of
them, George?
Caller-They are beautiful pictures.
Where did you get them?
sect them? Great st. Rubens I paint
ed them, of course"
painted them? Why, some are signed
De la Pallettetaine and others Herr Won
pechtaffiervitz."
"Oh! yes, forgot about that. Those
are my selling names"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
A Pulling Social Question.
Omaha World.

Omaha dame-I see that a British peer
has been actually put out of New ork
hotel.
Gotham dame-ImpOssible!
''Oh! there is no doubt of it. The pa
pers say he was behaving very disgrace
fully"
''And they put him out?"
eyes"
"Dear me! How shall We ever be able
to apologize to him?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Wanted an Earthquake.

Wanted an Earthquake.
New York Sun.
"Oh, Miss Brown, who was that very
homely young lady you were with this af-
ternoon?"
''That, sir, was my sister"
ooh ah-I-I beg ten thousand par
dons! I ought to have noticed the great
resemblance! That is-that is"
Then he wished an earthquake would
happen then and there.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
Regardless of Cost.
Detroit Free Press.

Clerk Ito employer)- What snail l
mark that new lot of silk at?
Employer. Mark the selling price al
So pard.
Clerk But il only cost 81 yard.
Employer. I don't care what 1t cost
l am selling off regardless of cost.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21

It is announced that secretary Lamar
will be married some time between NO
vember and the converting of congress.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-16
Feeble WOman's Memory.

A woman in one of the Lewiston dry
goods stores was in quandary Friday
forenoon. She had too many strings
on her fingers. ''Now," said she, 'that
string on my finger is to remind me
to get four yards of baby ribbon and
that red string there is so as | won't for
get to call at the stove shop and get the
wash boiler that's benz mended. The
piece of yellow ribbon is for powdered
sugar for cake for the festival, and the
yarn on my thumb is lemme Sc. e, is to
get four skeins of domestic yam fo1
mittens for the boys. What puzzles me
is this other piece Seems to me though
it was somethin' about givin' the horse
some dinner somewhere, but don't Just
remember. Oh dear me! How nerv-
Gus it makes me! | want twelve Yards
of unbleached cotton cloth and two
spools of thread. I've got to get some
velvet to trim over my new winter bon
net, and / want some hairpins and some
buttons on my cloak, and some ruching
and won't you let me look at some OF
your winter garments, and-there! |
want two sticks of braid, black, please,
and two papers of pins, and a paper of
needles and some whalebones, and q
yard of brown silesia, two spools of
twist, and what sort of lace have you
got to trim a dress for my dau-oh,
mercy sakes! What an escape! Isn't
it fortunate! I've just recalled what
that string is for. It's to remind me to
call at my sisters in Lewiston and get
my daughter who has been visiting
here, and take her home with me. Oh,
my poor memory! Isn't 1t fortunate
that put the string on my finger. Good
day. You put up the goods and I'll be
back after them,' and she went out be
fore the clerk had time to perpetra
the trade marked chestnut, rs that
all 90
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-16
MILITARY JUSTICE,
EXECUTION OF GEN. DELGADo IN HON
DURAS.
From the New Orleans Democrat

From the New Orleans Democrat.l
Early in the morning, as the mists
were just rising from the dense vegeta-
ton about the town, and the sun TO sc
above the tree tops, a small body of
soldiers marched through the wet grass
to the dull tapping of a drum. 4 few
people followed at a respectful dis
lance. They turned out in the direc-
ton of the old church, La Carload,
the Angelus from which bells had
sounded.
Marching past its portals halt w IS
made in one OF the angles, where the
late addition joined the ancient portion.
A little apart from the soldiers stood
four officers, the victims of this beauti-
ful morning. Four collins were placed
near the wall, and the four condemned
men led to them. They too1 their
funeral seats as gracefully as if they
were in the boxes of an opera.
Not face was blanched, not nerve
quivered. AS they sat there General
Delgado noticed that his nearest COM
pani0n moved a little restlessly on his
coffin lid. "Are you afraid, compadre!"
said he.
The young officer smiled at the
question and answered with prompt
No"
This" said the General, sis some
thing we all have to go through.
Some soon, some late, but it comes to
ALL"
And he gave a smile of encouragement
to his fellow condemned ones. The
soldiers were loading their rifles and the
sunlight glis1ened on the polished bar
rels. The General called in low voice
to the officer in charge of the men, and
asked if he would permit the firing
squad to advance five PAGES nearer. This
would bring them to within few feet,
and there would be no missing. He
asked also not to be blndfolded and to
have the privilege of giving the word.
The officer asseuted and the men came
slowly forward. The condemned were
then asked if ey had anything to
say.
Gen. Delgado, with wonderful cool
ness and great dignity and grace. made
brief speech, but it could not be
heard by the spectators beyond the SOL
diers. The air was filed with the per
fume of the flowers just opened by the
morning sun. A whistle of paroquet
and the cav of some brilliantly
plumaged bird were the only benedic-
tions then heard. The General then
addressed the swarthy firing squad
II will ask you, gentlemen, not to
hit me in the face, but there, " and his
right hand pointed with quick ges
ture to spot over his heart. Then IN
clear tones he spoke the words, "Are
you readvF'
The rifles were pointed directly at
the four men. Each could look into
the muzzle of the instruments of
death. No eye was bandaged, no arm
tied. Over each barrel the black eye of
a Honduranian soldier looked along its
shining surface and into the eyes of the
cool and calm officers seated by the
walls. When they heard the question
a murmur announced that they were
ready. Then came from the firm lips |
of Delgado, "Fire!''
There was no rattle, no scattering re-
ports, but one sharp, singing report,
and the four men, for half second re-
in an upright position, as if |
still unhurt, rolled over limp and bloody |
dead.
The men had been true to their prom
Uses, for three balls had penetrated Del
yado's heart.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-16
Public Office a Private Trust.

Captain H. kept hotel and bar in a
Southern town and he had been in ad-
ditiOn appointed postmaster. A day or
two after he had entered upon his duties,
Colonel Blood, the trustee of every
saloon in town, stepped in to congratu-
late him.
"Ah, Captain, good evening. Permit
me, sab to congratulate you upon your
appointment, " he said with flourish.
THANK you, Colonel" replied the
Captain, cautiously.
''It's an honah to you, sab, and to us,
and l join in the universal joiclng, sab
By-the-way, Captain, haven't you got
something good, in liquid formt"
Yes, Colonel, but it calls for the
cash, " smiled the Captain.
mo. sab No, sab! 1t does not sah
/ believe you are an officer under the
Cleveland Administration, sab"
eyes, but that hasn't anything to do
with my hotel and bar business.
That's where you are mistaken, sab.
But ] will excuse it, sab, owing to your
lnexperience, Give me the liquor, sab
Cant do it, Colonel, without the
money" persisted the Captain.
"But you must, sab. The President,
sab, has said that a public Office is a
private trust, and come to you, sab, as
public officer and demand that trust,
sab. l ask this liquor, sab, of you as
pc ,tmaster, san. and not as a hotel
keeper, sab, and by CAD, sab, / shall re
port you to the President if it is not fur
nished at once, sab.
He went out dry Washington Critic
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-12-16
COLONEL QUAY'S MONEY.
A Story Ofthe Hospitals and Bounty Money
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.J

FROM the BlttSDurS Dispatch.
Colonel Quay's presence in the city
calls to mind the last occasion when he
bore that title into active service and
carried $34, 600 in haversack. He was
Colonel of the 134th. In the fall of
1862 he had severe attack of typhoid
fever. He survived, but was so broken
and enfeebled in health that the surgeon
declared that he would not be fit for
duty again during the term of service of
his regiment. He was accordingly mus
tered out about the 1st of December,
1862. He renamed with the army,
however, quartered in the surgeons
tent and under treatment while settling
up his regimental accounts. The men
of his regiment had just received their
first pay since August, and almost all of
them gave it to Colonel Quay, knowing
he was going home, to take to their
families. Some of them had received
their bounty money at the same time,
and the sum intrusted to his keeping
amounted all told to $34, 742. The sur
geon came into his tent one morning and
said: you've got to go to the hospital.
This army is going to move and there is
going to be a fight" Quay said he
wouldn't go to the hospital. II there
was going to be fight, he was going
into it. The surgeon insisted and Col
onel Quay finally appealed to General
Tyler, commanding his brigade, declar-
ing that he was going into the battle.
If he couldn't command his regiment he
would go in as a volunteer General
Tyler told him he was a fool; that the
exposure alone would kill him, in his
feeble state of health.
IAN right said Quay. al would
rather die a fool than live a coward"
General Tyler finally yielded, and
gave Quay an appointment n his staff
to serve during the engagement. But
there was the money. the $34, 900 of the
mems pay. There was no safe place to
put it, and the men wouldn't take it
back. They said it was pretty certain
some of them would be killed, and the
money was safer on the body of staff
officer than with them. "You keep it"
they said, "and if you get knocked over
We'll take you off the field" There was
no help for it, and so he packed the
greenbacks in a haversack, strapped it
about his waist, carried it through the
battle and aiterward brought the money
home and distributed it among the wives
and families of his men. The battle
was the sanguinary struggle of Freder-
icksburg. The 134th was in the hottest
of it, and many a dollar of the money
Colonel Quay carried IN the haversack
came home as a bequest to the widow
and the orphans.