Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
BRIGHT BITS.

A BASE BALL PLAYER elected to the Legis-
lature Is said to have been very successful IN
catching the eye of the Speaker.-Bo8toa Com
nierct1 BVttettu.
"BEANs REGARDED AS FoOD." is the head
line IN an exchange . nat is the way beans
should be regarded. Any one who regards
beans as beverage is'way o1.-Hotel Gazette.
TAIL0R-"Marricd or unmarried" Gus
toner Married Tailor TO cutterl--"One
pocket concealed in lining Of vest" Customer
Eth! WhatY' Tailor (eXp aining)-"To
hide your change, you know, at night. Pm
married myself. - Chicago Rambler.
a LAWYER in an Eastern state, whose rep
utatlOn IN the community was not very high,
met an old gentleM an and said to him: DO
you know, Mr.. H, that ] am direct de-
scendant OF Miles Standish:' lis lt pOssibleP'
was the reply "What q descent. "-ArgosV.
A. L. PILLsBURY remarked in his speech at
the New England Club dinner that you can't
get 4 citizen of Boston to go around the cor
ner for an dea.n Mr.. PIll7bury seems TO for
get that when mans asked around the cor
ner he expects TO be treated TO something
good deal stronger than an ldea.-B0etoa Post.
FIRST TALKER(at teiephone) -"Hallo, who's
this?'
second Talker TAT other -"sheridan."
First lker-"How far away are your
-ecOnd TAlker--'JusC twenty miles.
First Ialker-"Can't you come little
closer? L want to tell you something conf
dentlally- York Star.
Mrs. FIsHwACKER took friend to the art
museum, and pointed out the wonders of
Greek art. Standing before the statues OF
Apollo and Diana. she turned and said:
This my dear. is the Apollo, and that female
there the Ap0llOnaris? Being asked later
the meaning Of a technical term in the cata-
iOzue. she said, "YOu viii find it explained IN
The foot-uote. The sstrakhan refers you TO
it.'-Ee1igi0Us Fence.
DE GUY heard you were arrested tie
other day on account Of beastly row with
waiter"
Alcash $50 l was. He had me arrested
DE Guy-"Impossible! Who heard of
such a thlng?"
Alcash--"True % shooting, though. He
was deuced insolet t, and I Just tipped HIM
over the table with my boot PAtIddelphid
car.
Col. DESCRIBES. in report upon the re-
treat Of the French troops from Langs0n. says
that the French killed and wounded, officers
and men, fell into the hands Of the enemy, and
under the eyes of our own troops, had their
heads cut of by the enemy ''rhls." con
unues the Colonel, caused a painful impress
sion upon all, but especially upon the regt-
ment to which the victims belonged" We
should uatu ally suppose that it would have
a tendency o produce that efiect.-Arnv and
NdCg d0aFHdt.
"DoN'T you want to 90 to the better world,
Tommy asked the Sunday school teacher of
the new scholar.
little fellow.
"And why not, TOmmyf'
''Oh, when l die wan to 80 where Teller
can resi-"
well, my boy, you can rest there"
'Wen. IN hat cong we sung it said we'd all
shine there"
"Certalnly: don't you want to shine thereY'
40 mum, don't want TO shine there. l
get enough of that here. Pm bootblaok,
mum..'-Aelo York -Aa1 and Eepress.
"A MAN can't stay long in Washington un-
less he's something Of an inventor" said
wire-puller with Dlistered feet, who went
there last summer in quest of an office.
Il don't see how you make that out. for
you we're there quite SPELL. ana | don't be-
Iieve you ever invented anything" said some
body.
Wen, that's all you know about It,"
"Itis, ehY"
ayes, it's
''Weli, I'd just like TO have you tell me what
you ever invented -
"Well, sir. hadn't been there q month be-
fore invented plan for fastening a paper
collar TO an undershirt. '-Chic10o Ledger.