Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-07-03
M0XING

Yes, sirl I have had some strange expert
ences and witnessed some moving scenes;
very moving, indeed. All, indeed! Are you
a detective? No; I'm a scene shifter at
Music Hall.-Boston Post.
Mrs. Stillpoor-And so you really sail to-
morrow for Europe, Mrs. Newlyrichs Mrs.
New1yrich-Yes; everything is all ready.
Mrs. Stillpoor-Has your husband obtained
a letter of credit yeta Mrs. Newlyrich-Oh,
we shant ask for credit. John expects to
pay cash down for everything.-Harper's
Bazaar.
A blind man was sitting in company with
some visitors, when one of the company left
the room. "What white teeth that lady has!"
said the blind man. ''Why," said a friend,
cause" answered the blind man, ''for the
last hour she has done nothing but laugh" !"
Exchange.
'I see," said New York belle, as she laid
down the paper and took up her fork with a
piece of toast attached, "that they complain
a good deal that General Miles has not yet
got on Geronimo's trail. They ought to send
some of those West Point cadets out after
him. If they ever failed to get on every trail
in their neighborhood, three hops up there
have not enabled me to observe it."-Oregon
Statesman.
Gone of my. ancestors won a battle during
the Crusades by his skill in handling his ar
tillery," said the Baron. 'tBut my dear
Baron" said his friend, cat the time of the
Crusades gunpowder had not been discov-
cred" 81 know that as well you do, and
SO did my ancestor" Chow did he win the
battle then?' s'He brought his artillery to
bear on the Saracens and the stupid fools
seeing the guns supposed that powder had at
last been discovered and fled in dismay. y
Texas Siftings.
Chow old would you take me to be, Mr..
Snooks?" she lisped, looking unutterable
things at him II dunno" ne replied, twist
ing nervously about in his chair. "I'm aw
fully old, I assure you. I've seen twenty
three summersl' ''Then you ought to wear
glasses" he replied, earnestly. "Why. Mr..
Snooks! glasses at twenty -three2' eyes;
your eyesight must be bad" ''Im sure
don't know why you should think so," she
pouted. "Because I'm afraid about twenty
summers have gone by you that You haven't
seen. .''-Tidbits.
"Mamie," said grammar school girl to a
member of the graduating class, ''have you
finished your essay?" ssEr-no," said Ma
mie, sbut I have commenced it, and I wish
the awful thing was in Halifax" whats
the subject?' 's'The Curse of Slapg'"
'Graciousl Isn't that difficult subject to
write upa' 'Dificults Well, 1 should gig
gle. I'll have to hump myself to get it fin
ished in time for the commencement, and I've
good notion to let it slide. I might shut
up the professors optic by pleading illness,
but I'm not that sort of hairpin But come,
waltz up into my room and look at my stun
ming graduating harness. It'll paralyze you. "
-Norristown Herald.
Brigham Young used to practice the faith
cure. A eonfding Mormon who had lost a
leg in brave but Intellectual struggle with a
threshing machine, not being able to secure
a pension at Washington, came to Brigham
| in the firm belief that he was able to make
another leg grow from the stump, and re-
| quested him to do SO. He desired him to
graft on one of the early blooming variety,
SO that it would be ready for his spring
ploughing. This proposition put Brigham
to his stumps for a moment, but he was
equal to this emergency, as he had been for
| many others. 81 could do it, of course, -
| said Brigham, with a careless wave of his
| hand, "but how awkward you would
feel on the day of resurrection, getting
| around on three legs" :'Getting around on
three legsa" Certainly. The old leg would
| rise up with the new one and insist on coup
| ling on" The Mormon concluded he would
| try to stump along on what he had until the
| universal rising.-Texas Siftings.