Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-15
HUMOROUS.

This flood has been great thing
for the old Boston families. They will
now trace their families back to ante
diluvian days. as their fOrefatherS
lived before the deluge.-LoweH Citi-
gen.
-'.Snow & Higgins" is the name Of
q Connecticut firm. These are not
romantic names taken separately, but
associated they awaken very pleas
ant train of reflection uriingtOn
Free Press.
The following is copy of bill
posted on the wall of a country vii
lage: "A lecture on total abstinence
will be delivered in the open air, and
collection will be made at the door 10
defray expenses. ~. y. Ledger.
Fate of the Drummer
man who drummcd in corps
Was always a-thirsting for corps:
But 1t happened one day,
He engaged in n fray.
And he won thirst for corps any mOrps.
Cape Ann Breeze.
Lecturer Ito manager)-.. Are the
acoustic properties of your hall good?'
Manager" Excellent, sir. excellent.
I'll have the property man get EN-
out and dust 'em for you tonight. y
Iid-6itS.
Kansas City papers sheer at
Omaha's Exposition building. They
needn't 1t covers a block, and Kan.
sas City feet can turn around in it with
out bul ging the walls. Come and see.
Omaha HeraM
Farmer John to his fair city board
er-''What is that you are wearing"
This is my red jersey DRESS she re-
Piled Farmer John-"All right; but
don't You 90 near my brown Jersey,
over in that field, unless you are good
at climbing trees. "-Prairie Farmer.
Aunt Pleasant, reading compost
ton which had been submitted to her
by her eight-year-old niece, said:
.'Why. Eva, brick isn't spelled
b-r-i-c-k-e." "Oh, Auntie! know that
well enough, but was in such hur-
~ to get the old thing done that ]
couldn't stop to leave the e of. "-Har-
per's Bazar.
Are you going to fight Budman?"
cam going to fight him? No; you
must be crazy" ''But they tell me he
insulted you shamefully last night"
$50 he did, the brute. He pulled my
nose, slapped my face and kicked me
down the hotel stairs, and by jove, sir.
let me tell you that's enough fora man
to stand without going out to be shot
for it. ''-Burdette.
The college professor was lectur-
ng to the class on natural history.
Speaking of the rattlesnake, he ex-
planned that possibly its rattles were
the result of evolution, 1.-The continued
use of its tail evolving the rattles in
it." Then spoke up Joshua Epaminan-
dus Jones, saying: Il should think
that by the same process the tail of the
dog would by this time have been aw-
fully ratified Chicago Journal.
"A couple of young men staying
Internationally late one nigh: with
their sweethearts. were surprised 10 see
the ''old man. looking about the hall.
and finally the parlOr, as though in
search of something. What are you
looking for, pa'" at last asked one Of
the girls. ..The morning papers,
growled the old man. and the young
men took a hasty leave.-Erchange.
She was young. she was green, she
was very new in Washington. At 4
recent swell affair she had gone with
the crowd into the refreshment room.
Presently an elegant looking waiter,
for all the world like foreign Ambas-
sador, bowed politely before her and
murmured: rs there any one waiting
on YOU, Miss" 'Sir? Sir?" she stam-
mered in startled embarrassment.
'.Pardonnez moi. Is there any one
waiting on you?" ''Oh" she said.
blushing brightly. mo, sir; not in
Washington. But when I'm at home.
I've got more bcaux than any Other
giE in town. Washington Critic.