The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

rays 1eoo1NS pau IL LAC A00
blind mans dog. 4a
Pleasant recollections-C Collecting q Z
bill the second time.
1t is officially reported that there are
now in England upward of 80, 900 blind.
persons-but to which party they belong
is not stated. ...
The Piegan Indians are making trouble
out in Wyoming. The first syllable Of
their nameis probably the cause of it,,
N. r Journal. ~ ~ b
The war articles in the Century are
rapidly bringing that esteemed publica-
ton down to the level of a Powder
Magazine. @N =
The whale is said to be capable of liy-
ing thousand years. He doesn't have
to read the dizzy old jokes in the funny
papers.-FaU Ricer Adcance. 81
The title to dead whale is in dis
pute in the Monterey, Cal., courts. But
the title to live wha,e is never in dis
pute among schoolDoYs.
Take up the fiddle and the bow fsh
Aud play "Let the Eagle Scream" .
Lay down the shovel and the hoe. = =
Potatoes are dug by steam.
Boston Courier, (.
lone at dime, b1ease;' remarked q
German saloon keeper to crowd that
was scrambling for tcn-cent piece on
the foor.-St. Paul Herald. sE
John Boyle O'Reilly says that if women
ruled the world it would be poem.
Perhaps so, but the average man don't
want poem. he wants pie.-NeU Bed
ford Mercury SIS, 4
The average housewife will take more
pains to keep sickly tifteen-cent plant
through four months Of winter than she
will to keep butter on ice in summer.
Settings.
Surprising a man lost both his arms in
the war, what is he going to do In case
MOSQUITO alights on his nose2-Magerict.f
Call the first man he meets liar. Cor
ham Mountaineer.
An exchange says that # clothes are
brushed up, that is the wrong way, they
will not get shiny. We have tried this;
rule on silk hat and can testify that it
works like charm.-CaU.
English entomologists are excited over
the addition of q new butterfly to the
British fauna, making total OF sixty
five species. What American belle Is
over there now9-BostoS Post.
A remedy for cold feet is announced.
Any Improvement on the present style OF
wrapping them in the husbands under
shirt and warming them against his spine
will find ready sale.- GermantooH IN
DEPENDENT
You do get your daughters up most
beautifully, Mrs. Hebe." "Yes; that IS
art" "And YOU get them into society
so earlv. That is mart" "And you
find rich husbands for them.'' 'That Is
smart. ."-Burdette.
St. Louis Matron: "Now, young man,
I tell you, you must not come toollng
'round my daughter, Jerusha, any longer.
I've set my foot down." Young GILL;
pod: "All right, madam, that covers
the ground. ."-Ran'6Isr.
Tommy, is your sister Clarinda in"
"s1ebbv she is, and mebby she amt.
What's YOUR rame2" "Why do you aska"
..Waal. We see, she said if Mr.. Tampkins
called she'd he in, but if old CruikshanK
came she'd be out. Which be you| MI.
| Cruikshank departed.
There is a man in Buffalo, who is pro-
vided with silver wind pipe. Very
few persons are so we'll fixed. Whenever
he meets with financial reverses, ne can
soak his wind pipe, and raise the wind.
AS a general thing, the more man soaks
his wind pipe the less money ne has
i Sytings. -
About the most startling piece of for
eiqn news that has reached this country
since the war is the announcement that
more than 5000 people in one province
| of Russia are employed in making &C.
cordeons. What makes this news so de.
pressing is the fact that great many OF
| the accordeons manufactured Dy these
misguided Russians will be played IN
America. a.-Novistovn Herald.
Fannie is little girl who has big
WAX doll as a companion. A few days
ago new sister came to her house, and
after II few days she went over to
neiehbor's. "Well, Fannie" said the
lady, "wheres your wax dollT "Oh,n
she answered, turning up her nose' Il
don't have nothin' to do with wax oa-
bies anv more. We've got meat BABY
at our house now, and that takes up oil
nv time. ."-MercAant- 1raceler.
THE LATEST CRAZE.
We're not so fond o. England,
Or her pretty little wavs, -.
As once we were, and far hehlnd
We've left the British craze.
IT'S not the dainty French we love, y
Nor vet the dash Of Spain,
For Italy we never rave,
They're all upon the wane.
But now we look for fashions to
Ceest:als, and we clap
Our hands with joy whene'er we see
j An 1S-carat Jap. --Lue'
Vegetation on Coins.
The microscopes have warned US
arainst coins in whose interstices varl-
| o,,e onrcios of alo;p flourish A micro