davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
FOR THE LADIES.

AT Conshohoci1en, Pa, the other evening while
Miss Gertrude Grant was singing with a party OF
friends she suddenly became dumb, not being able
20 stag speak a word. A physician was call led
who said the attack was hystericaI but soon after
she partially paraIyzed. She is recovering
slowly
The fair plaintiff in breach Of promise suit at
Marshai.town, Iowa, compromised for -.
-" Insteps arehed at reasonable figures is q
New York announcement.
- Princess Louise, one of the daughters OF the
Queen, says that she is always out of money" T"
Sine is paid $50 600 year out of the pockets of the
British people; but there are many ways in which
q princess can get rid OF gold
There is useful young woman in Walworth,
and half the young farmers ia that locality have
turned their eyes in her direction She teaches
school five days in the week for $40 a week helps
her mother do the hOusewOrlS, and takes care of
three horses and two cows the farm. During
the summer she has had exclusive care of the home
garden, has painted the house and papered two
rooms in it, and found time to correspond each
week for two County papers This Winter she will
take up the Chautauqua course Of studies-Lyons
Republican.
Minnie Wilson a checked child Of Dakota,
regularly cracks her whip about the four horses
which pull the stage from Haver!ine to Miner.
Mrs. Adeline Robinson of Appleton, Me-, is u
years old but that did not prevent her going down
into a well % feet deep. hanging to a rope and
clambering down the rocks and cleaning it out the
other day.
Mrs. Stena Jones. who died in East CarondeIet,
No. 81 few days ago, had lived Il5 years. OF her
five sons and IA daughters all grew to maturity,
and ID il said that each SIX feet over in
hight. Mrs. Jones outlived all but five of her l9
children
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Praise Well Deserved.

A writer in the Atlanta Constellation pays the
following tribute to the late Gen. Stannard, of
Vermont, who died recently in Washington:
Almost everybody who has been familiar
with the Capitol at any time during the last six
years must have noticed an elderly man with
one arm, who was doorkeeper to one Of the
Indies galleries Of the House OF Representatives.
He was notable for his courtesy and his in
iaIlible puuctuaity ut his humble post of dGty.
Few people in Washington knew anything
about him. except that be was a faithful door
keeper at 800 per month. Those who saw his
empty sleeve naturally supposed that he had
lost an arm on one side or the other Of the civil
war. He was quiet, digniiied old gentleman,
who came from his home 10 the Capitol and
returned to mis- home again when his work was
done.
lone day last June he did not appear. A
pale woman came to say that he was very sick
aud could not be at the door for a day or two
lie was never there again. In week he was
dead from pneumonia. Then the reporters be-
gan to write long sketches of the dead door
keeper. II turned out that he had history
His name was George j. Stannard. He volun-
teered IN Vermont as soon rs war was declared.
Promotion came to him rapidly, and at last he
rose to the rank OF Major-General. There never
vas = brayer soldier He was shot 10 times,
and had his right arm taken of at the shoulder
By shell. At Gettysburg and Cold Harbor he
greatly distinguished himself. In the army he
was universally loved and honored. Not one
of bis associates at the Capitol ever heard him
speak of his services, brilliant as they were.
lie accepted his lot in life with cheerful resig-
nation, and fought adyersity to the last as
bravely rs he ever faced hostile army. He
was y faithful, modest man, who never dreamed
that he was a hero. He left nothing but one
months salary"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16

three intellectual attempts to dislodge us the
enemy fell back severely punished and dis
beartened. The firing now ceased on both
sides. The Union forces, by order Of Maj. Stur-
gis, who had assumed command, were retiring
from the field, and the 2d Kan. was left alone
and unsupported 90 resist the attack OF Ben.
McCulloch with three fresh regiments.
Lieut.-Col. Blair, who had proved himself
brave soldier and won the confidence Of his
men, assumed command of our regiment, and
seeing a large body of rebels advancing on our
left front, ordered us TO lie down, and when
they had arrived within about so yards OF our
line, he said, Now, boys, give 'em HI"
and we came as near as we could TO IT, pouring
into them a CALLING aud plunging fire. At this
time an order came from Maj. Sturgis 10 fall
back on the main body. Col. Blair paid no
attention 10 the order at that time. With a
powerful force on our front IL would have been
the destruction of our little regiment To
maintain our position was our only salvation; I;
TO have left il would have been annihilation.
We continued TO fight until we silenced the
enemy's fire and compelled him TO fall back so
badly cut up that he could not resume the fight.
Our ammunition was nearly exhausted, and
Col. Blair feeling that we could now retire in
safety gave the order:
Attention, % Kan! About ce-Slow
time-March!
We then crossed the ravine to the Hill on the
opposite side Some Of the enemy had taken
possession of the position we had left and
opened fire on us. A shot from a feldpiece
killed one of our o1icers-Lieut Newell. Col.
Blair halted his regiment and formed line OF
battle Just then another order came from
Maj. Sturgs for us TO fall back on the main
body. We then filed through the timber and
in about half an hour united with the main
body, after nearly seven hours fighting, nearly
exhausted for the want of water, not having
tasted any since o'clock the evening before.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
AZ the Counts Fair.


"Wbat class do you want TO enter your horse
in 2" said the President of the agricultural fair
as he met the honest farmer at the gate.
Enter my boss? i amt got no hoss TO
enter nowhere"
Don't want to put either of your horses on
the track ~
"NO sir"
Got wheel of fortune or any such thing
you want te set upp
Naww
"Then what are you driving in with the
team aud wagon for?'
why, I've got punkin here four feet high
and LOT Of big corn and some of the best
squashes in the whole country. and there's a
two-ycar-od steer tied behind the wagon that
beats anything you ever see, / know
THAT may all be, my friend, but this is TO
place for you. IL you've got horse that you
want 10 put on the track or any kind OF con-
fidence game you might come in, but as il is
we have no room for you. Come, move on there
and give Col. Toeweight a chance TO drive in.
Go and feed your garden truck TO your big
gteern
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
LineOln's Substitute In the Field.


President Lincoln had 4 substitute in the
war" said Mr.. Noble ID. Larner, while talking
over old times in Washington, and he was
credited to the Third ward of this city. 1t
was IN the Winter of 1S6i-65 that Gen. Fry,
then Provost Marshal here sent for me and told
me that the President wanted substitute TO
90 To the war for him. At that time was con-
nected with the Third Ward Draft Club the
principal object of which was to secure substi-
tutes for members who might be drafted.
There lived in our ward q son of a clergyman
who bore the usual reputation given to minis
ters' sons, and he was naturally a ne'er do
WELL This fellow desired to represent the
President, and a check from the White House
for $500, payable at Riggs Bank, was the con-
sideTatiOn. Nothing was ever heard of the
young man afterward, but il was generally be-
lieved that he was killed during the Wilderness
campaign. Our draft club gave a concert for
the benefit of their fund at Ford's Opera House,
on Tenth street, the evening that the President
received his exemption paper, which | remem-
ber was inclOsed IN gilt frame and exhibited
from the stage during the performance. AL
though had served three months in the army
and / was honorably discharged, was drafted,
and had to look out for a substitute, too. lie
was raw-boned, gigantic specimen of an Irish
man, and l kept track of him for some time
after he joined the army. One day after the
war closed thought i would look up my mans
record, and upon inquiring at the War Depart
ment concerning him | found the word de-
serted marked opposite his name"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Women.
TDraLe's Trarelers Magasfne.1

LDTdEf 4fbftitf Muvu1thcl
A Philadelphia woman has taken for her sec
ond husband a man without legs. She had an
eve to business. Her first husband, she says,
used to kick against paying her millinery bills
As a kicker, her second spouse will be bril-
liant failure.
A young lady graduate donned her false hair,
penciled her eyebrows, rouged her checks, etc,
and then stood mp at the Commencement and
read a long essay entitled "The Beauty and
Strength of TRUTH
A Philadelphia dentist who, in extracting a
woman's tooth, pulled out n large portion of
her jawbone, is being sued by her for $4,000
damages. 1t is understood that the woman's
husband has privately informed the dentist
that if he is mulcted in the damages claimed
he will send him his check for the amount.
Some men know how 10 justly appreciate a
favor. even though it was unintentional.
In East Africa the price of a girl is two cows
This seems cheap enough, until we learn the
price o: the cows In this country young
man can get a very nice girl by merely giving
satisfaction but in some cases it is more diff
cult to give satisfaction than to give whole
drove Of cows.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
$1,000 Ante.
Minneapolis Tribunal


heard 4 story the other day about the na-
tiOnal game of poker which rather discounts
the tough poker yarns which from time TO time
appear in the papers of the West A number
of gentlemen We're sitting on the chairs in front
OF the Ebbitt House when the subject Of poker
came up. Stories of several games were told
and laughed over, when gentleman who had
not said great deal up to that time remarked
"Well, boys, your stories of big games are good
enough, but i sat in game one time where the
pot was worth playing for. 1t was in 1865, soon
after Lees surrender. There were six or seven
Of us at Atlanta, and game of poker was pro-
posed. The ante was fixed at $1,000 and the
limit at S5,O0O,0O0 and the play was lively.
tell you. We played from 10 in the morning
until after midnight, and a pot was seldom
open with less than 100000 in it. On one
hand the betting got quite lively, and when a
straight flush finally beat four queens the winner
raked in nearly S20,O0O,OO0" The gentlemen
sitting around putIed their cigars, and admira-
tiOn for the boss liar of the season was plainly
visible on their countenances. He continued !:
"You don't seem TO believe that, but it is
Gospel truth, every word of it." Again silence
reigned for a moment or two, when one of them
inquired: "What kind of money were you
playing for?" well" he answered, "that
was the trouble. 1t was as / said, right after
the war. Confederate scrip was plentiful, and
we used Confederate bonds to light our cigars
with. The Doodle in that pot was all in Con-
fedeTate notes and bonds, and the winner didn't
think it worth while to carry it away with
him."
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
GEN. J. S. ROBINSON,
Candidate of the Ohio Republicans for
Secretary of State.

Ohio furnished to the Union army many able
and gallant soldiers, but none more faithful
aud deserving than Gen. James 5. Robinson
He was born Oct. II, Is27, in Richland County.
His boyhood was passed much after the man
ner of the other farm boys of those times, in
hard work the year round, except FOR few
weeks attendance at the district school during
the Winters. At the age of 10 he started out
into the world "to make his fortune" He
tramped to Mansfield, aud applied at the Rich
land Bugle Office for an apprenticeship. lie
was given the privilege Of entering the office,
and there he served learning the trade of a
printer until December, 1914. when he began
TO work on the Mansfield Je6ersoHian, now the
Herald, and there he worked until June, 1916.
1nen he started OF on foot TO Iitiin, where, in
the Office Of the Senca Wing, he worked the rest
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Pretty Girls OF DuhIin.

lDf5tin Letter IN Cteretdad Leader.
Ireland is noted for its beautiful women, and
the girls of Dublin are as pretty as those of any
city in the world. They have, as a rule, fair,
rosy compilations and good forms, and they
know how to dress the latter / attended re-
gatta at Dalkey, the great yachting place near
Dublin, aud saw some several thousands of the
better class of girls Of Ireland. The poorer
classes were shut out by the higher prices of
the inclOsure allotted to US, and the crowd was
a kid-gloved one. The girls seemed to be re-
markably healthy and in high spirits, and they
showed. as / could judge from the witty re-
marks heard en pdSsaIrt, all the love of humOr
for which old Ireland is famous. The Irish
brogue coming out of the pearly teeth of rosy
checked, bright-eyed Irish girl sounds very
sweet indeed, and were / a millionaire Ameri-
can with one or two American girl babies, I
would bring them to Ireland to raise them for
the sake of their compilations. The beauties
are not, however. confined to the upper classes.
l saw pretty girls everywhere, and many a
sweet face there is among the white-capped
servant girls of the hotels, and even among the
workers in the fields or in the eotters' huts.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Where They Came From.
IMcrchnni Trareler. |

The minister's wife sat on the front porch
mending the clothes of one of her numerous
progeny. neighbor, passing. stopped in Tor
a friendly chat. A large workbasket half full
of buttons sat on the floor of the porch. After
various remarks of gossipy nature, the visitor
said:
You seem to be we'll supplied with buttons,
Mrs. Goodman"
"Yes. very well. indeed"
my gracious! if there amt two of the same
buttons that my husband had on his last Win
ter suitl I'd know iem anywhere"
"Indeed :" said rhe minister's wife calmly !;
"Pm surprised to hear it.sas all those buttons
were found in the contribution box. Thought
might as well pub them TO some use, so L
what, must you go? Well, be sure and call
soon" u -,
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
An Unsatisfactory COlIOquy.


A tourist from the city was travelling through
the mountain regions Of New York. and came
upon a cabin on the hillside, in a strip of coun-
try that was poorer than a millionaire when
the assessor was around. A man sat on the
fence in front. and the tourist accosted him.
"Good-mOrning." he said, pleasantly.
"Mornin'," responded the native.
This pretty wild country2" he continued,
qnestioningly.
Nobody ever tried 10 tame il, guess"
do you raise anythng?"
Yaas when we kin git drunk enough"
Have you got any stock?"
No, but they've got some at the grocery"
81 don't see any domestic animals about
have you got any2"
Whats thatl"
domestic animals"
"0h! i didn't quite l5etch on. Domestic
animals? Well, j shed say 50. Got a wife and
ia childrenl"
"Good-by," said the tourist, abruptly. and
rode of rapidly.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
''TIPS. q"
The Practice OF Giving Gratulties TO Servants in
England.
philadelphia Press. ]

lihhdotlllhiu JFcSS.l
have conversed with dozens Of small rail-
way officials and find their earnings vary from
as low as Ia shillings $3.50 per week in coun-
try towns TO 81 l$5) per week in important
places.
How do you live on such a salaryP" said
10 a Great Eastern Company porter.
well, it is very hard, sir; but we pick up a
little such as gentlemen like yourself feel like
giving u.s."
"How much does that average a week?"
1t is very uncertain. You see, as a rule,
we don't get silver unless il be threepenny bits.
We haven't much American travel on this line,
and twopence or threepence in coppers is looked
upon as good enough tip by most passengers,
and of late years only a few give that. And
right glad we are TO get even that SIR"
i have often noticed when travelling with
Americans that they dislike 10 offer respectable
looking men, as most Of these porters are, cop
pers, and generally give them siNpence or even
a shilling, whereas the porters would be CRATE
ful enough for a few spare pennies.
The guards. Of whom there are something
like 10000 in England, are only paid from So
10 s. a week. These officials take the place OF
our conductors, and their hearts, or rather their
hands, are as open 10 melting charity-Or
should say " tips "-as he of the dark green
corduroy suit and silver buttons who handles
the luggage for threepence. The guards size
is about a shilling 10 his own countrymen and
half crown 1921 cents) to Americans. For
this sum he will not infrequently give you a
compartment from Liverpool TO London all To
yourself or secure your party from intrusion.
He will come TO the window, radiant with
smiles. and ask if "All is right, sir? Shall
change your hot water tin, sir2" or, in the
most saccharine voice tell yOn 1.-The train will
remain here 10 minutes. sir, if you'd like to
get out aud stretch your legs, sir" The luck
less passengers who fee not the guard may be
packed in like sardines ia box, but the magic
word engaged will secure the man who has
fixed the guard" a compartment 10 himself
especially at night. The pttance that these
men work for is enough 10 obliterate their in-
dependence and compel them 10 accept the
smallest bIibes in return for personal fayoritism
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
In q Christian Country.
I0mahd Horld.l

AOihuhd " OTtd.l
Omaha mani understand the arrangements
for the reception of immigrants at Castle Gar
den are very complete.
New York man-We do our best 10 make
strangers feel that they have come 90 a Chris
tian country. As soon as they arrive they are
furnished with Bibles printed in English.
Welsh, French, Danish, Swedish, Finnish,
Italian, Spanish. German, Dutch, Russian, Bull
garian. Hungarian, bohemian. Polish, Slavic,
Arabic, Greek, Armenian, Hebrew or Portu-
guese.
do they read them2"
"Yes, indced. You see there is nothing
else they can do being ali penned up like a
flock Of sheep"
But why do you pen them upP"
"To keep them from being robbed"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Balls That Hit In Battle.

The question has often been raised, What
proportion of balls exchanged by hostile armies
will hit their mark and kill? Difficult as it is
to solve it exactly, some approximate result
may be arrived at from the number of balls
estimated at 10000 OO0-which were fired by
the Germans in the war of 1S70-7I. The
French Army lost, in dead and wounded, about
10000 men. According to this, only ball out
l43 fired hit its man, and assuming that on an
average only l man out of z hit was ac-
tually killed, it would seem that only 1 rifle
ball in S5S proved fatal. If it is further consid
cred that the number of men wounded and
killed by the guns of the artillery are included
in the above estimate, il may safely be said that
not over rifle ball in 1000 fired proves to be
fatal.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
A Legal Limit.

A Troy man had his ear ripped off by buzz
saw. An excited young doctor stuck il on
backward, sewcd il fast, and il grew. And
now that the bandages have been taken off and
the man has discovered how the job was done,
hes so mad that he has 10 get up during the
night to swear, and he has begun a suit against
the doctor for malpractice, and the doctor is in
a regular fix, as can't find lawyer i'll all Troy
willing 10 defend him, not one Of them having
quite assurance and buldness enough 10 stand
up and tell jury that the ear was put on in
an artistic manner. There's a limit even to
the nerve Of Troy lawyer.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
A Grave Matter.
IErchdhge.l

Al wonder that those people who used to go
to church in Winter without having any fires
there didn't die" remarked Mrs. Lilly the
other day. pa a'E
"They did, my dear. %serenely returned the
husband from behind hts paper.
"Oh, yes" said she somewhat nettled, "of
course but mean that IL is strange they didn't
die before their appointed time"
People never do" returned the severe
Lilly.
Mrs Lifly looked very dignifed, but yen-
tured no further comments.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
He Was On Hand.

The late Col. Ethan Allen, Of Lisbon. was at
one time guest at the Howard Hotel, corner
Of Broadway and Maiden-lane, New York. On
entering the dining room no waiter advanced
90 give him seat. The Colonel walked 10 a
table near by, and, taking "A chair which was
turned up al the head Of the table, took seat
lie was hardly i'm the chair before a waiter
came burriedly 10 him, saying: This seat is
engaged" ITO whomg" asked the Colonel.
To a gentleman" replied the waiter. " He's
come" said the Colonel, and remained at his
dinner undsturbed amid peals of laughter from
the guests at the table.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Who Is Kingi

Lady Worsley found fault one day with
niece of hers, who afterward became March
ioness of Tweeddale for negleeting to attend
family prayers, which Lady Worsley herself
was in the habit of conducting. The niece ex-
cused herself because she had been told that
Lady Worsley. who was a strong Jacobite, did
not pray for the King. "Not pray for the
king?" exclaimed Lady Worsley, Indignantly.
twill have you and those who sent you know
that do pray for the King, only i do not think
il necessary to tell Almighty God who is King" !"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
snas Hss,S-'Ipny.
[ afncnn IcLenrnnL 4

in negro neighborhood on Tuesday while
the earth was rocking the cry was raised that
the judgment day was coming. An old mann
my, with her kinky hair almost straight from
fear, rushed out when she heard the announce
ment and gazed upward eagerly. Suddenly
she shouted: "No hit amt, honey; no hit
amt. DE skies amt moved. When Judgment
Gums hits or cummin bofe ways" She was
armed with the belief that on that dread day
the heavens and the earth will rush together.
IL would be well IL every man could sustain
himself with some simple belief or philosophy
in panicky times.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
SCIENTIFIC CHAT.

German photographers have succeeded In
photogTaphing projecte in the course of it's flight
condensed air which precedes every shot IL ssaid
to be this ''head" which prevents even skiIlful
riiemen from hitting empty egg shell when
hung on long thread. The air blows the shell out
of the way of the bullet.
An English physician says that men shouldn't
crop their hair short. Hair, he says is conductor
OF electricity to the brain, and If the brain fails to
get electricity 1t will soften. This is bad news
for bald d-headed men.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16

"You look thoughtful tonight Dumley,"
remarked Featherly as he stretched himself on
the bed.
YES" sighed Dumley. "Pye just got note
from the landlady."
What does she say?"
"She says that must pay my back board at
once or her daughter will sue me for breach of
promise. I'm thinking what I'd better do"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16

Dearest, love you. Fly with me-" said
baseball player to his best giS,.
II would" said the fair ole, "Only it would
never be a success"
"Why not?"
"Weil, you know you are always caught on
the fly. and"
But he rang his gong and fed.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
Going 10 school A. Heldelberv.

There is a story of a man who visited his son
at Heidelberg University and took a drive
through town. Passing a large building, the
father asked what that WAS. The son did not
know, and appealed to the cabman. THAT"
was the reply, is the university"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16

TAr magnificent bridge the Fast River between
New York City aud brooklyn is visited daily by thou
sands who stand and wonder AT lis beautiful proportions
Among the many who have crossed recently weIetwo men
who discussing important subject. Finally
of them said: Judging from eXIerience OF
twenty live years. there is nothing that equal the
Gracsenberg Pills as renemdy for billousneS ana
malaIiai diseases"
The National tribune., 1886-09-16

NATIONAL VIEW co., No. 1920 Pennsylvania
~ Ave-, Washington, d. g. furnish 10 G. A. r. Posts
lantern slides, leading Generals Views Of the 10Th
National Encampment etc. also Copy and Enlarge for
Posts Pictures OF Officers 70 any size reduced prices
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1886-09-16
The Perils OF Boarding.
fNetU York Sum.

But he rang his gong. and fed.