The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-01-08
Good Things From Our Exchanges.

tween TWO freight cars tDe Olnef Cay
was describing his suffering to his
wife. "Why" she exclaimed, "that's
just the way it feels when you are
breaking in a new pair of corsets."
"Papa, do they always find gas
when they bore for it?" asked Bob.
eyes, Robert, you may depend on it,
where there is a bore there is always
gas" replied the father, who, by the
way, is also a newspaper man.
In New York bank. Texas visitor
81 reckon, stranger, you do a right
smart business? Banker promptly
-"My dear sir, you have no idea
how extended our business relations
are. At the present time we have
three cashiers in Canada"
"What a Notwithstanding william
the prisoner is" whispered an old
lady in a court room to her husband.
sd be afraid to get near him" "Shn
warned her husband, "that amt the
prisoner. He amt been brought in
yet" at amt! Who is it, then?'
"It's the Judge"
"Doctor,' said an anxious citizen,
something has happened to my wife.
Her mouth seems set, and she can't
say a word.
"Why, she must have the iockjaw.
said the doctor.
"Do you think so? Well, if you are
up my way some time next week l
wish you would step In and see what
you can do for her"
'I'm sorry, obsei,e the parishion-
er, that I can't pay my pew rent
this quarter" "Tm very sorry, too,
Mr.. Jones, returned the clergyman.
81 presume you lost your money gam
bling in stocks? "No, | can't say
that I did. "Then in specializing in
oil? ono. To tell the truth I did
not. l attended your church fair the
other evening and got roped into a
lottery. Oh!
Now be a good boy, Willie, said
his mother to him n day, wishing
to impress upon him the reward in
store for the Just, and when you die
you will have a gold harp to play on.
/ don'tknow how to play on a gold
harp, he grumbled, and don't want
nothin' anyway what I've got to die
to git. Let Johnny be good aud gil
the harp, and gimme a drum.
One Of the Judges of the Supreme
Court, of Texas, happened to be
travelling in England. In London he
made the acquaintance OF one Of tho
most intelligent lawyers of that city
After the man from Texas had All
swered several questions the English
man asked:
Where do you reside?
In Texas.
And what is your occupation?
! am n Of the Supreme Cour
Judges.
Oh, yes, I've reade a great dea
about you. Your name is Lynch, il
it not2
Among the wits, legal and lay, o
New York, John Van Buren, hold
no second place.
One day, az he was ~lunching at til
Astor House, an enemy named Wad
man came up to him.
Mr.. Van Buren,, said Wadman, i
there any case so UNI Just, mea an
dirty that you will not take it?
Well l don't know, said Van BuI
. en-, picking up a oyster on his fork
, What have you been doing now
, Wadman?
An ex-oificer in the army, who ha
) had the misfortune to have his nos
). shot or sabred off in the Peninsul;
t was told that Brummel had reporte,
of him that he had never held a con
t mission, but was nothing more than
X retired halter. He called upon til
t Beau and demanded satisfaction
Brummel promptly and energeticall
denied that he had ever spread IL
disparaging rumor. But when tn
Captain was about to take his leav,
gratified with his success, BrummI
. followed him to the door, and agai
affirmed that the report was false, gi
ing, however, the reason; Now til;
] think Of it, never in my life dea
II with a halter without a nose.
Deacon-"You preach excellcl
sermons, pastor, but very few peop.
come to hear them. Moreover, Il
i membership Of the church instead
d increasing as thought, and E;
n everyone thought it would whe
you came to us, is deercasin
ot What can we do to remedy Il
ID condition of thinns hnm con !,