Evening star., 1886-08-14
THE SCIENCE OF KISSING.
A Veteran D1scO0rses ON the Subject
Kisses i'm Different Seasons.

"Kissing," said the colonel, sis one OF the
greatest luxuries of life."
One would think the colouePs kissing daya
were pretty near over. But he would scout the
idea If any one had the hardihood to suggest It.
He had just kissed the prettiest Of half o dozen
pretty girls, and his remark waa by way OF
apology. "And may add" he said, ~ neces-
sity; necessity Of life. A sweet necessity. II
is the dessert Of existenee-the pastry and
plumb pudding, as it were. It Is one OF the
blessings of the higher organism. 1t Is the
language Of the affections-the delicate and re-
nned." The colonel was getting quite enthu.
siastic the subject, and he bid fair to kiss the
whole company before he got through. He
could take greater liberties on account OF his
solemn protest. One of them said something
about "oid iibertine" under his breath, but
then he was jealous because he was very
sweet" on one OF the young ladies, and fortu-
nately no one heard him.
The STAR man was interested, and encouraged
the Colonel To gO on.
"a man who doesn't believe in kissing IN not
to be trusted" he continued, "He is of =
coarse nature; he Is a brute. I have Travelled
all over the world, and find that where kiss
ing is most common there is the highest civii-
cation. The two places where the art reaches
lis highest perfection are Paris and Washing
ton. Washington should be famous for its kiss
ing. Everybody kisses some one. That's right
and proper. believe In it,
The slightly jealous young man suggested
that there ought to be an age limit in these
matters, and said that he had seen som mewhere,
on the authority of some eminent medical gen.
was dangerous. 1t was-as he understood it,
particularly dangerous to kiss old men. All
sorts of diseases and physical weaknesses were
transmitted in this way. Then he gave ma
iiciOus glance at the colonel.
There are great variety of Kisses" contin-
ued the colonel. 1T takes man of experience
TO kiss properly, and he curved q glance at the
Jealous young man that silenced him for the
rest OF the evening. The young ladies ggRled
and got close to the colonel, and he continued:
There are two sorts of kisses which are un-
worthy OF the grand institution which has no
less founder than Adam, the original. They
ana S hs
again at the Jealous young man. "They are
modern institutions and are alike in quality.
never could understand how girl can kiss q
pug-dog or a dude when there are plenty Of
gentlemen OF experience"
AT this point one OF the young ladies was
seen 10 slap her favOrite pug whose screams as
he went under the piano warned the colonel
that he was getting on dangerous ground, and
was sufficiently evident he dropped dogs and
dudes.
There's the smart-smack-and.letgok kiss. It's
olo-iashloned now, but like 1t. A smart
young man could write a volume about this.
II Is the most harmless OF all. 1t Is an all-the-
year-around, Observation-Disclosures. 1t is the
KISS OF the quilting party; it's the country
school house kiss; it's the kiss in the rye. Here
in Washington they are divided into summer
and and. winter kisses An Washington girls know
what this means. The one is the long, linger-
ins kind that carries you up into heaven and lets
you down easy. They are in the summer air
like mosquitoes. They are on every steamboat,
particularly on the shady side By moonlight
They are in the woods, and attack picnic parties
1eroclously; they go up the river on barge
parties and even attack young people on their
very doorsteps, when the shadows are thick.
The winter kiss always fingers behind the front
door, Jumps out suddenly like thief, and as
suddenly disappears. 1t never enters the parlor
WQerc the lights bright and everybody Is
assembled. 1t never gets beyond the edge OF
the shadows in the hail. 1t is always parting
kiss, and Is nervous and halt frozen. The sum-
ner kiss is more popular here, and many young
ladies confine themselves to 1t altogether. But,
take 1t all in all. believe there is more kissing
done in Washington than any other city in the
Union. suppose it's because the incest girls
are here," and he smiled graciously upon his
sweet surroundings. This was too much for the
jealous young man. As he went down the front
steps the colonel remarked that the man
who would fully enjoy this life ought never TO
smoke cigarettes Or chew tobacco He started
to explain why, but at that moment there was
an exodus that carried of The STAR man.