New Ulm weekly review., 1886-12-08
Fcrguson-s Boy, Freddie.

Fergus on-s Boy, Freddie.
E. A. Stearns, in Tid- Bids: l dined
with Ferguson the other day. Fergu-
son has a boy named Freddie. Fred
die IS boy about nine years OF age,
and is considered very "bright." He
is; he is positively brilliant. But if he
were my boy I think ] could polish
him still more. At all events Ishould
try.
Freddie came into the parlor soon
after my arrival, his face shining from
a recent vigorous application OF soap
and water, and his yellow hair plas-
tered down to his head so that every
bump was plainly visible.
.You don't remember Mr.. Johnson,
do you?" said his father, taking the
young cub on his knee.
"Yep,' was the reply.
"What's that?" said Ferguson re-
provingly.
Yep" repeated eboy, with sur
prised look.
Haven't I told you to always say
yes, sir?'
.:Yessir."
s'That's better. So you remember
Mr.. Johnson, eh? It's nearly three
years since Freddie saw you last,
added Ferguson, turning to me. cts
astonishing what memory that boy
has. What do you remember about
Mr. Johnson, Freddie?" he inquired.
81 remember" replied Freddie, in
geniously, "that his hair was white at
the roots and black at the ends, and
mar said she guessed he hadn't dyed
it this week"
This remark produced feeling of
constraint, so to to speak, and Fred
| die was banished from the parlor. |
did not see him again until l went to
| dinner.
Ferguson asked a blessing. As soon
as he had finished Freddie burst out
| with:
"Par, what the reason you never
do that 'cept when ehave comp'ny?"
| Ferguson made some facetious re-
mark, but saw light in his eye
which told me that there was trouble
ahead for Freddie, and rejoiced in
secret.
MAR" said Freddie presently,
''don't you wish Aunt Maria was
here?"
Why, Freddie?" said his mother,
with a fond smile
"Cause you said the other day that
you wished she an Mr.. johnson could
meet, cause he'd be such good catch
for her, an it was about her last,
| chance, an"
Frederick" shouted Ferguson.
"Why, Freddie Ferguson!" exclaim-
ed his mother.
The subject was quickly changed. I
felt that 1t would be wise to send Fred
die away from the table, but Ferguson
dared Fate and permitted him to re-
main.
Gimme another piece ofcakew said
Freddie, presently.
"You have had three already" said
his mother. gently.
81 know have, an I want anoth-
er."
"But-''
II want another piece of cake!'
"What can you possibly want OF
more cake?"
"Wanter eat it, of course. What'd
yer s'pose I wanted ter do with it
put wheels on it an use it for wag-
on?"
! 1t struck me that this would be
good time to remove Freddie and in
f1ict corporal punishment upon him,
but Mrs. Ferguson thought differently.
She regarded Freddie's. remarks as
laughable.
'1t's astonishing what q fund of hui
NOR that boy has got," she said, as
she gave him the biggest piece OF cake
on the plate. "He's always making
quaint remarks like that. Par and I
think he'll become great humorist"
| "NIr: Johnson" said Freddie" as he
rose from the table, "can I feel your
di'mun pin?'
"What a. singular request" said
do it if you don't mind. Mr.: johnson,
He's got some funny idea in his heat
and we shall see what it is
We,did. After rubbing the diamond
several times with his forefnger (inci
IDENTIFY coloring my immaculate shirt
front with currant jelly, be said won
deringly:
"Why, it amt sticky at ALL"
"No, Freddie, of course not,' said
Ferguson smilingly.
"Why shouldi it besticky? Diamonds
are not sticky"
"No. l s'pose not" said Freddie
"but Iheard mar say that she thought
it vast adi'mun at all, but only paste,
an knew that paste"-
| But at this point Freddie was hus-
| tied out OF theroom by his father, and
in few moments my heart was glad
ened by the sounds of dismal yells in
the distance
saw no more of Freddie that even
ing. do not intend to dine at Fer
guson's again at present.