davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
MR.. CLEVELAND WILL SHUT HIM
SELF UP.

WAsHINGToN, Nov. 3.-This an
nouncement was issued at the White
House to-day:
The president finds it absolutely ne
cessary TO the proper performance of
public duties that the time between the
10th of November and the next meet
ing of congress should be at his dis
posal free from interruption. Within
this period he will be obliged to deny
himself to visitors except Oh actual
public business of importance. This
will not be construed to include appli-
cations OF recommendations for office.
"This notification is given to the
public thus early to dispose in advance
of the plea that a trip to Washington
has been made in ignorance of the
presidents arrangement. The usual
public receptions at 1880 o'clock on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays
will be continued"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
WHAT HIS BUSINESS WAS.

From the Merchant Traveler.l
"What is your business?" inquired
the Judge.
"I'm a merchant, your Honor"
ga merchant What do you deal
imp
political influence, your Honor"
"a peculiar commodity, certainly"
said the judge with Il smile. "And
how muchto you charge for this poll
teal influence, may | ask?"
"Fifteem cents Il drink, two for a
quarter" came forth with a prompt
ness that completely staggered the
judge and the entire courtroom.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
WANTED, AN EARTHQUAKE.
From t! { New York sun

"Oh, Miss Brown. who was that
very homciy Young laly You were with
this a~fternuou?'
That, sir? That was my sister,"
Oh asi-l beg ten thousand par
don9! | ought to have noticed the
great Resemblance! That is-that
Then he wished an earthquake would
happen right then and there.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
A 500 HOLIDAY PRIZE.

The readers of this paper are offered
a prize of (S20) Twenty Dollars in
Gold to the persons making the greatest
number of words out of the letters con-
tanned i'll three words "Hawleys's Corn
Salve." The same letters must be
used but once in forming a word unless
it is contained more than once i'll the
three words. Plurals, names of per-
sons and places not allowed. Use
Webster's Dictionary without supple
mel.ts as authority. Each contestant
will please enclose 25cts in stamps or
postal note, for a box of Hawley's. Corn
Salve. Contest closes December LIST,
1856. Name of winner and number OF
words mailed to each contestant. The
contest will be conducted with the ut
most care and fairness. Address your
list 10 G. ID. HAwLEY, Chemist,
Salem, New York.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
WANTED HIS MONEYS WORTH.

from the Chicago Rambler.l
DR.. Pighead visits Mr.. Goldman, the
pork manufacturer.
"Well. my dear sir, don't see that
there's anything radically wrong with
you. Go to bed early, don't drink
anything stronger than coffee and you'll
be all right in a week."
"What, are you not going to give me
any medicine?'
"Certainly not. You don't need it,"
"But You get your S25 just the
same?"
eyes. Just So"
"Well, l don't think it is a square
deal. Sposin' you bleed me, put a
mustard plaster on the back of my
neck and gimme a dose OF salts.
Everybody that works for mes GOT to
earn his salary!"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
HER REVENGE WAS TERRIBLE.

From The Pittsburg Chronicle.I
"liere is rather a sad incident III the
paper, my DEAR" said Squildig.
What is it?' asked his wife.
"a Bohemian girl at Chicago COM
United suicide to spite her lover, who
had offended her"
The foolish girl! | would't have
taken out my spite i'll that way"
"What would You have done?"
I'd have married him.
And SqUildig went down town Won
dering how he had offended his wife
before they were married.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13

OLARA's FAULT.

Aunt Hannah-But don't you think
people will talk and say all sorts of
things about your re-marrying so 500
after the death of your first wife,
Henry?
Henry-That's just like you women
folks. 1t is no fault of mine, is it, if
Clara should be so in~considerate as to
die such a short time before my second
marriage.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
OIRCUMVENTING THE LAW.
From the Merchant Traveller

IRON tne Merchant IraNeler.
"Hello, Snivvens! Where are You
going with all those books?' inquired
an Iowa man.
"Takin' EN- home"
"Why, what do you want with so
many of them? l don't believe you
ever read an hour at a time since you
went to school,"
81 know it. But I'm going to start
in now"
"What's the cause of this change of
heart"
."PrOhibition."
"Prohibition! What do you mean?"
swell, you see the lroverb says
reading maketh a full man, and you bet
| am going to circumvent that prohibit
ton statute if there's anyway of doing
it. So long. See you sober"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
AWFUL POSSIBILITY
From the Life.

From the Life.l
Baby. A-bwa, A-bwa, A-bwa!
Mother. Beire. boire; what can
Charles Augustus mean?
Father. He is going to be a topper,
Angelina. Boire is French for drink.
Mother (anxiously) Oh, wouldn't
it be dreadful if Charles should turn
out to be a French baby, and we
couldn't understand a word he said!
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
A PAINFUL LACK OF CONFIDENCE
From the n, Y. SUM-

From the N. Y. SUM-
Gentleman. There you are, Uncle
Rastus. You just hand that order to
Mr.. Smith and he will pay the money.
Uncle ltastus SCANNING the order).
Am dis Il verbal order, sab?
Gentleman. No; if [ gave you a
verbal order he wouldn't pay it.
Uncle Eastus (relieved). Yes, OATS
zactly wot Mister Smlt sayed. He
sayed eff | brought a verbul order dat
lie wouldn't pay it. / recken he hain't
got much confidence in you', sab.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
BLAINE DIDN'T KNOW.
From the Philadelphia Record.

Mr.. Blaine did small credit to his
own intelligence and that OF his Fits
burg audience in his snecrs at the
foreign trade of England. In his igno-
rance of that trade he sand it is ''large-
ly made W OF her trade TO the colonies
which she governs" Last year the
exports from Great Britain and II leland
to the United States amounted to 1885,
7Ol, 7OS. or nearly One-tourth Of this
country's entire imports. The exports
from the United States to Englan,, in
the same period YER S39S, l03, 2O3 or
more than one-half of this country's
entire exports. Without Great Britain
the foreign trade of this country would
make a very small showing.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
GOOD GROUNDS FOR A PENSION

From the Phlladel phIa ChronIcle-H Herald. I
II don't see upon what grounds YOU
can secure ii pension. You were not
i'll the army during the war"
~ know, but was in the Home
Guards
"Were you wounded or disabled?'
ono; but | first SAW the woman who
is now my wife while we were on
parade. Since then I've had nothing
but trouble, and think the government
ought 20 give me Il pension"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
SHE WAS RELIABLE.
From the Texas 81

From the Texas Siitings.l
A female of an uncertain age was
asked by a ce nsus-taker:
GLOW old are You, madam"
"Thirty years. she replied.
"That's what you told me last cen.
sus, ten years ago"
swell, I'm not One of the kind of
women who tell M story one time
and another story another"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
OUR AGE NT.

MI, H. C. Trent has consented to
act as General Agent for II Intel.
ligencer In his county, and is au-
thorized T. receive and receipt for
all moneys due this office upon
subscription account. He will make
q canvass of the entire county and
we bespeak for him kind treatment
and courteous assistance from all
our friends.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
A RECOMMENDATION.

From the Detroit Free Press.l
johnson. Do you know young Jones!
O'kelly. Yis, sir; | know him.
johnson. Can a person believe what
he says?
Pat. Faith, an it's jist this way:
Whin he tells We the truth We can be-
lave livery word he says, but whin he
lies to yez, We betther have no conf
dence in him at all.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
He GOT PRO NOTED.
From the Merchant Traveler.1

From The Merchant Traveler.l
Mr. Jones was sitting in the corner
reading the paper and Mrs. u. had just
come in with an armfnl of wood. AT
the breakfast table Johnny inquired:
"Mamma, what does hustle mean?"
Don't bother me now, Johnny, ask
your father-l don't know that it will
do you any good though" she added,
as she plunked a lump of sugar into
the coffee. eff your father ever did
know what the word meant he's for
gotten it long ago"
Mr.. Jones ''said nothing" in italics
for the remainder of the meal.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
a BEST TALISMAN.

"All The heroes amt dead yet" said
old Bugley, laying down the paper to
mora!ize. at does my heart good to
hear these brave men went safely
through Niagara Falls-and did it in a
barrel, too. That's the most surprising
part of it ALL"
"There's nothing surprising about
that corrected his mischievous young
grandson
There amt, eh?' sneeringly replied
the old man. GLOW do you make that
out, my little shaver?"
easy enough, gran'pa," answered
the little boy. sin this world a man
a 90 anywhere if he has Il sbar'I.'"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
WAS 1T AN EARTHQUAKE.

NEW YORK. Nov. 7:-Some persons
who were in the upper part of high
buildings in the lower portion of this
city felt about 6 O'Clock to-day what
they believe to have been q distant
shock OF earthquake. The experience,
however, does not seem to have been
general.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
hCCURDIMGI

y fashion writer, speaking of a GER
tail dioss material, says it requires
from twelve I . fourteen yards. accord
ing 10 the height of the wearer. And
we bad supposed. All along, that the
number OF Yards IL woman pu, into her
dress depcnded npon the thickness of
her husbands p0ckelb0ok or the
elasticity OF lis crf dit
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
TRAINING THE YOUTHFUL MIND.

Sunday-school superintendent (who
has just been endeavoring to i'm
press upon the minds of the scholars
the lesson of the long life of the
prophet Elijah, and the pun
ishment of the %irreverent children
by bears): Now, can any one tell Inc
why the bears ate the children?
Wee small Voice CATER a pause) ::
Cause they thought 'Lijah was too old.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
VARIOUS CONSIDERATIONS.
From the Pittsbure Dispatch.

IIrom The Pittsbure Dispatch.
Jones. Join me in a social glass.
Johnson. Thanks, never drink any
thing.
Don't drink? Great Caesar, Just
think of the tun you're missing"
Yes, but think of the headaches
Pm missing"
"Qnite true, but you will never know
the supreme pleasure of getting over
one of them. Young fellow, life is full
of good things that you don't know
anything about
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
CANOE TRIP.

VIM. Ii. Dennis, an adventurous
youth, is making a trip in a small c:ink-
erbuilt boat from Buffalo, by way OF
the Miami canal, tie Ohio and Missis-
sippi rivers, the Gulf of Mexico, Allan
tic ocean, Hudson river and Erie canal
to Buffalo. He is now below Memphis,
Tenn.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
GLAD TO GET OUT OF IT.
from It'd Bits

from It'd Bits.1
Professor Ito loot of botany class):
Mention some Of the common trees.
Student. Ash, maple, elm, larch,
locust, spruce, pine, horse taking
BREATH.
Professor (prOmpting). Chestnut?
Student. All right, sir, ii you've
heard 'em before, FL stop.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
TIME OF PEACE AND WAR.

Fogg has perpetrated the meanest
connndrum yet. He wants to know
why Mrs. FPS mouth is like the Tenn
pie of Janus. The brute says it is be-
cause it is peace when it is closed, and
when it is open it is war.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
CRAzY-BONE.

The crazy-bone is called the humerus
because it is so Jimmy, when ii receives
a sudden rap, TO everybody but tie
owner thereof.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
WHAT,

She-What a man you are, George,
always making fun of the ladies' taper
waste?
He-And what should l do with a
taper but make light of it?
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
market,

In HE repOrtt the wholesale prices are given in
lett hand column, and retail pirces in IirIt hand
column. In country produce the figures on the
left denote what the merchants are paying. and
on the right the prices at which the sell.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
AN OPEN SECRET.

You ask what an "opcn secret is.
Well, my son, an open secret is one
that a wonan swears she won't tell.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
TWO SHOCKS IN The SOUTH.

CHARLESTON, 5. c., Nov. 1.-Two
hooks OF earthquake were felt here
and throughout the state shortly after
II O'Clock tonight.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13

Read the McGrew Milling Company's
notice in another column. noy6tf
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13
Watch Date

Printed with your name upon the
margin of the paper. IL Indicates
ssthc time to which you have
patd.,, II your time has expired,
please renevv, and If the date Is in.
correct notify us at once. IT
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-11-13

! also carry a stock of Oak Lumber. Orders for odd sizes in Oak
flied on short notice.
Ll"le' liar, Plaster, Cement, Sc, always ON hand.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21
The Loyal Legion.

j PHILADELPHIA. October 2O.-At the
meeting of the Loyal Legion, to-day,
Lieutenant General Philip II. .Sherid an
was elected commander-in-chief to fill
tho vacancy caused by the death of
Major Winfield s. Hancock. The
nomination of General Sheridan
was made by Major-General
John Nj. Sheffield and seconded by
General Rutherford b. Hayes. The
greater portion Of the day was spent in
discussion of the e igibility for mem
bership of certain applicants, and
twenty-four such cases were passed
upon.
The Commandery of Pennsyl
vania held u meeting at the
Union League IN the evening,
and invested the oficers-elect with
their official titles. AT the close of
their meeting banquet was rendered
to the companions of the cOmmandery-
in-ch:ef. General D. Nc iregor, COM
mander of the Commandery of Penn
sylYania, presided. There were no
formal teasts. General Sheridan was
present and made some remarks. Short
speeches were also made by ex-Presi-
dent Hayes and General Schoheld, G.
II. Cochran and Others.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21
The Church Convenient.

CHICAGO, October 2O.-At the session
of the Protestant Episcopal Church, to
day, the committee reported IN. favor of
a joint com mittee of fifteen to open
communication with various other
Christian bodies. and ascertain whether
there is a disposition among them for a
union on the basis of the apostles
creed, breaking OF bread and prayer. 1t
was decided TO hold the next convention
in New York City. The convention
then resumed the discussion of mission
airy work among the colored people.
At the national council of Congrega-
tiOnalists a resolution approving the
public school system was unanimously
adopted. a resolution declaring for
arbitration to prevent international war
was also adop ed, and also 8 resolution
urging the proper observance of the
Sabbath.
After long discussion, it was decided
to appoint a commission for whom shall
be raised $4,000 20 carry on missionary
work in the south, the commission to
report the results TO the next general
convention. The principal business of
the remainder of the day was in taking
action on the proposed change in
the liturgy. There was but little
opposition offered TO any prop sitions
of significant nature, considering Of
conservative character. A message OF
the Episcopal body was received from
the house of bishot S. 1t was a recon-
mendation that committee, composed
of five bishops. five priests and FIVE lay
men be appointed to open communica-
tons with other Christian bodies in the
land with view of ascertaining if they
had a disposition to promote unity mp
on the basis of apostolic fellowship
The committee is also to inquire what
benefit they think can be materially I'M
parted by these separate bodies one to
to another and to devise methods for
the cancellation of the world. One
section of the message was as follows:
I'VE believe that al: who have been
duly baptized with water in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy
Spirit are members of the Holy Catholic
Church. The delegates selected New
York as the place for holding the con-
vention of 1889.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21
The Last Day of the knights
Convention. III
APPEAL FOB THE ANARCHISTS,
DELIBERATIONS of the EpiscOpalians-
The Chicagos Win the Third
Game, II to 4
The Last Hours OF the Knights Con-
Vention

The Last Hours OF the Knights Con-
ventiOn
RICHMOND, October 20 The general
assembly began it's last session of the
convention of 1886, this morning at
O'Clock. The first business taken up
was the report of the standing commit
tee on co operation. After that came
reports of half a dozen special commit
tees. One of these was that of the conf
mIttee on Woman's work. Among the
recommendations it presented was one
in favor of the appointment of women,
who should investigate and report on
all subjects connected with the female
wage workers, and in the organization
of local assemblies of women employed
in various industries throughout the
country.
The knights of Labor to day adopted
the report of the committee on woman'S
work. The report says the object OF
organization is to agItate the principle
which our order teaches OF equal pay
for equal work and the abolition OF
child-labor. Your committee have
elected such officers as were in their
opinion necessary to carry on the work
properly, said officers to be empowered
to appoint subcommittee in every
district where tNere are women TO
look up cases that may require the
attention of the general investigator
and report the same 10 the president
of the. committee. The officers elected
are Msry Hannafn, president; Mary
O'Reilly, president; Nettis Hardl-
son, treasurer. The report recon-
mends that Lenora Barry be elected as
general investigator, to act as CORES
bonding secretary and devote all
her time to the work and keep
a correct record of all cases
acted on. aud report the same to
the committee when they meet, which
shall be at least twice year. The FOL
lowing resolutions were adopted by the
general assembly:
RsSolred, That this general assembly ap-
peals for mercy for the seven men who sle
condemned 10 be executed.
Resolved That while asking for mercy tof
the condemned men, we are not IN sym
patty wi b the action OF the anarchists, be
Iieving that peaceful methods are the surest
and best N cans of securing the necessary re-
forms.
All business having been disposed Of
uis.t.-7- tlaa- rnemhers -nDon the good
Work during the session, urging them
to depart with a determination to push
the work intoxicating the principles
of the order. 7. 0'Reilley of the Tel
egrephersr District, New York, sang
lone of the French Proletariat," the
delegates Joined in the chorus. and the
general assembly adjourned sine die.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21
On the Turf.

LEXINGTON, October 20. - All ages.
one mile and one-elghth-Bobby Swim
won, Taxgatherer second, Malva r.
third. Time, 1.56.
TWo-year olds, three-quarters Of a
mile-TtIra Gotta won, Banbury sec
ond, LittraI third. Time, 1.16Z.
All ages, thirteen-sixteenths OF mile
-Highfiight won, Ksloolah second,
Little Minnie third. Time, 2.OIK, one
second and a half faster than the best
on record.
TWo-year- ODDS, five furlongs-Minne-
sofa won. Tate's Creek second, Lucien
third. Time, 1.9S.
BALTIMORE, October % - Maryland
Jockey Club Taces-Gleaner won, Her
malaga second, Edgeield third. Time,
1.45.
Oriole handicap, one and one-eighth
miles, all ages Aollie McCarthy's Last
won, Volantes second, Tillie Doe third.
Time, 1854.
One and one-eighth miles = SUPPORT
won, Frank Ward second, Alamoth
Time, ala.
Nile heats, n0n-Winners, allowance,
first heat-Fav0r won, Silver Cloud
secoRd, Souvenir third. Time, LIS.
Second heat = Favor won, Souvenir
second Silver Cloud third. Time, LAZY.
Selling, one and One-sixteenth mil S
-Boaz won by nose, Pegasus second,
Banner Bearer third. Time, 1.5OH.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21
e LOGAN LINES.

HoN. A. F. FARR, Mayor of our city,
was arrested last evening for aiding
and abetting the escape of Presid ent
G. o. Card 1t is rumored that Mr.
Farr owned the horse President Card
made his escape on-aud that is the
reason OF his arrest. He waived ex-
animation this morning, and was bound
over in 81 900. bonds to await the action
of the Grand Jury. Trn
WE ALWAYS knew Commissioner
Goodwin was biased and prejudieed to
an unlimited extent and it was fully
proven at the examination of Joel
Rick, Jr. There was no evidence that
the crime charged had been committed,
and in spite of the remonstrances and
arguments of Mr.. f. S. Richards and
Mr.. Hammond, Mr.. Kicks was bound
over to await the action of the Grand
Jury. Mr.. Goodwin expressed himself
as not intending to be hampered by
any legal technicaiities-and that this
court when satisfied in his own mind
that there lS-O01sa to hold defendants,
viii do so. whether the evidence is con-
elusive or not. Such peculiar oddities,
however, should perhaps be ascribed to
ignorance on the part of the Honorable
Commissioner. xxx.
LOGAN, October 20.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21
We Caution AN Against Them.

The unprecedented success and merit
of Ely's Cream Balm-a real cure for
catarrh, hay fever and cold in head
has induced many adventures to place
catarrh medicines bearing some re
semblance in appearance, style or name
upon the market, in order to trade
upon the reputation of Ely's Cream
Balm. Don't be deceived. Buy only
Ely's Cream Balm Many in your i'm
mediate locality will testify in highest
commentator of it. A particle is ap-
piled into each nOstril; no pain; agree
able to use. Price SOC.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-10-21

RICHMOND, October 20.-Governor Lee
tonight received the following telegram
from Washington:
Governor Fifth Oh Lee, Richmond:
Mrs. Cleveland aud ladies will not &C
company me to Richmond and nv en-
gagements are made TO return to Wash
iugtOn at an early hour. I regret that
am obliged to forego attending the re-
ception at your house on this occasion.
(Signed) GROVER CLEvELAND.
This action of the President creates
suspicion in view of the fact that only
this morning it was announced that
Mrs. Cleveland and other ladies would
certainly be in the Presidential party
Governor Lee had arranged for the re-
ception at his house, and had issued in
.7itations to prominent citizens to meet
them. = -