The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-09
"HuLLsALE AND RETAIL"

The West is nothing if not pushing.
A New Yorker who was passing through
Nebraska last summer found a hamlet
which boosted of only a single store,
and above tho door was the sign: "Hull-
sale and r~etail.'
"Do you do much wholesaling hereg"
asked the traveller.
"Well, yes; but it's mostly confined
to whisky"
"What's the difference in your priccsG"
"Oh, nothing to speak of. When
they buy a gallon at hullsalc l throw in
a cork to the jug. When they buy 1T
retail I let the burned critters make one
out of wircgrass themselves. Wa%
Street News.
AN MI EXTERIOR"
Scenc.-New building in course of
erection in view of government offices.
Government clerk Ito fellow clerk)
-"Say, Fred, I've been watching that
bricklaycr for the last txcnty minutes.
and he has not done a stroke of WORK
all that time! The country may well
be going to the dogs"
E~asy-going bricklayer Ito fellow arti-
san)-"Say, Bill, I've been watching
that 'cre clerk for the last half hour,
ullu, UlO" HC uC . uOIC Hululu I'LL CuC
time! Taxes may we'll be high! Won
der what pay he gets for that?"-Punch.
THE APPROACH OF COLD
Dumlcy (s~hivcringly. to landlady)-1
s-supposc it won't be v-vcry long, now,
M-mrs, Hendricks, b-bcforc it will be
Unnecessary to havc a fire in the fur
nace2
Landlady Canning hcrsclD-Ycs, u
few weeks more and l shall have to be-
gin to think about laying in the winters
stock Of coal.--N. y. San.
HIS BILL.
Mr.. Smith Ito editor-"My name is
Smith. I just dropped in to pay you"
Editor Offering a chair)-''All right,
sir" (To boy.) "Jamcs whistle down
stairs for Mr.. Smiths account"
MIR. Smith dropping into a chair)-
"Er-to pay you a little visit."-Har-
per'S Bazdr.
ecclesiastical ITEM.
Tcachcr-"What are the names of
the seven days of the wcekY
Boy-"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday."
Tcacher..''That's only six days. You
have missed one. When does your
mother go to church,"
Boy-"When pa buys her a new hat"
-7erus Sittinas.
APPROACHING.
The time is fast approaching when
the visitor to the sanctum will step in
smiling and confident, and just as he is
about to say
"Here is a little thing I have just
dashed off," he will be paralyzed by a
voice eNclaiming in tones of thunder:
600 back and shut that door!"-Bos-
ton Courier.
DOTS AND DAsIIEs.
COMPLAINT of the lack of small bills
continues. If people want small bills
they should settle up their accounts
oftcner.
In some respects a MAI resembles a
silver coin. He can do more good by
being good than by appearing good
when he is not good.
OLD Baldy-"I remember the first
quarrel I had with my wife. 1t was
twenty-five years ago. We tried to de-
eide who was boss, and it amt settled
yet"
PRUss1AN soldiers have figured out that
q prudent man can save enough from
his pay, if he serves for 100 years, to
enable him to live out the rest of his
days in idleness.
AFTER catching 1, 1874 rats i'll a certain
hotel IN Philadelphia the rat catcher
threw up the job and advised the land
lord to move out and give the rodents
full swing.
WHEN a Nevada man wishes his
friend ''may live till every hair on top
of his head is as long as a Mexican
lasso,' he has said all that the most ex-
acting friendship can demand.
WHEN a man dies of an unknown dis
ease it is usually termed .'Bright's dis
ease" When the system is thoroughly
out of gear and the muscles will not
work smoothly ''malaria" is the term.
"I WOULD not" says the Rev. Sam
Jones, "wipe my feet on a professional
base ball player" Why should Mr..
Jones wipe his feet on q ball player
when the umpire is there for that pur-
pose9
A CALIFORNIA girl shoots wild geese
and sends their feathers to market, and
in this way she has laid by $500 to give
the man who marrics her. The men oil
seem to be waiting for her to make it
81, 900.
"UNcLE JAMES," said a city young
lady, who was spending q few days in
the country, sis that chicken by the
gate a BrahminW ."No," replied Uncle
james, ''he's a Leghorn." '.Why, GER
tainly, to be surel" said the young lady.
GLOW stupid of me-! I can see the