The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-10-26
FAMILY CRESTS.
Valuable Information Concerning Theae
Useful and Ornamental Articles.

Valuable Information Concerning These
Useful and Ornamental Articles.
Through the kindness of the author.
and the U. S. mail, l have to-day re-
ceived, after paying sixteen cents due
for postage, the advance sheets of
valuable work entitled, ''How to select
a coat of arms, or Every man his own
pathologician." by Prof. Gideor Good
kind, Phi, d., Ii. d., of London.
Ont A careful perusal of the intro
ductory chapters of this highly inter-
esting book leads me to the conclusion
that no well regulated family can
afford to keep house without at least
one copy in the pantry, containing as
it does in addition to the usual index
thirteen different receipts for curing
bad breath. Some people, it is true
have dragged out miserable existence
with nothing approaching a coat of
arms nearer than wood saw rampant
on an old pork barrel.
In the preface to his work the profess
sor calls attention TO the many advan-
tages accruing TO the proud possessor
of family crest and the desirability of
all people who have any pretentions to
aristocracy TO be the owner of at least
one coat of arms, even if they can't
trace their ancestor further back than
the war. A typewriter circular en-
closed states that Prof. Goodkind, upon
receipt of any mans full name, and
five-dollar bill, nc necessarily for pub
LEGATION, etc, will select and forward
postpaid. a handsome design for an
appropriate and durable coat-of-arms,
fully warranted and copyrighted ac-
cording to law. The price is certain
ly reasonable and within reach
all. Some of the illustrations ac-
companying the work are worthy of
more than a mere passing notice, typ
flying as they do in the wild and I'M
tutored West. The first represents
portly man, cOuchGnt, under a hor Sc
trough, on a field of red, with gulls
running traversely across the horizon
against which a spiked-tail hog stands
out in bold relief, and bearing this in
scription: .'Rute hoc or d.. This was
originally intended for a wealthy Chi
cago pork packer, who went short on
a rising market to redeem it. On &C
count of it being secondhand article,
the professor has marked it down to
four dollars and seventy-nine cents,
with thirty per cent. off for cash. Here
is a splendid opportunity for some
young couple, who have got
married on forty-five dollars per
month and slight hopes of a raise, to
get first-class coat-of-arms at little
over half price. satisfaction guaranteed
or money refunded.
1t would be handy thing to have
in the house. If properly constructed
it makes an excellent butter pat and
can be used with equal success in
molding the succulent fish ball of
commerce, or when heated TO the
right temperature will do TO brand the
brindle cow on the rump, thus affording
a reader means of Identification when
the Short Line, Limited, knocks
her outside of the right of way.
Another striking design represents
the figure of man rampant, eX-
ecuted in bas-relief under a Tamarac
tree. To the left are shown several
men on horseback. They are vigilantes
and have just executed the man in bas-
relief and good faith. To the right ap-
pears on field of green, number of
bars running perpendicularly and 9th
erwise across a stone window frame.
This was where the man was located
previous to the little misunderstanding
he has just had with the vigilantes.
The design is handsomely finished, and
as a work of art it would be hard to
equal, but for obvious reasons is not
destined to become popular.
Space forbids mention of the rest of
the illustrations, suffice to say they all
the high standard of the two
| have attempted in my feeble way to
describe. | hope the professor will
kindly remember to send me the re-
of the book as it comes out, as
the illustrations properly fastened to-
gether and riveted to the window side
of my hennery, afford pleasure for the
hens and profit for myself.
Personally a family crest has no
charms for me, and should consider a
misfit cOat-of-arms of no more value
than the paltry sum it would realize if
sold for old junk. As design for my
favor one showing a bro
ken backed humorist in his shirt
with the inscription: "Hic
Jacket IN Hoc"-the meaning of which