The Iola register., 1886-04-23
a WONDERFUL INSECT.


a Strictly verseieus Story which Proves
THAT Truth b Stranger thaA Fiction.
1have heard some pretty tough yarns
concerning the mosquito, and the won
derful growth of thisfestive birdin some
sections Of our noble land. The greater
part of these remarkable stories comes
to us from New Jersey and Georgia
OF course you have all heard about tho
mosquitoes in New Jersey, where they
grow so1arge they carry valise and
register at the hotels. A great many
scoff at this story. but am not one Of
the scoffers-I have always noticed that
the scoffer is the biggest kind of prevar-
icator himself, and only SCOTS from
jealousy, when some person takes the
truth in his hands and tells better
story. So much for the scOffer. once
met with colossus in the shape of a
mosquito. It was some years ago when
! was poor boy working on hop farm
in Central New York. 1t was in the
spring time, gentle Annie. and the
feathered songsters of the wood were
pouring forth their sweetestnotes. The
hands were engaged in setting hop
poles, and as was not muscular enough
to do the hop-hole setting act, the "boss"
gave: me the easy job Of making the
holes with two hundred and fifty
pound crow bar. It was hard work,
and along towards noon l began to
''fag," as my stomach began to remOn-
strate with my other digestive organs
Although mere boy, had mans
appetite and a stomach like soldiers
knapsaek. As the boys were wont to
remark, had ian appetite that could
eat the screeches off a wheel-barrOw.
At noon the hired girl inflated her lungs
and blew the dinner horn. Years after
ward from a twenty-five dollar seat in
the theater 1 have listened to the sweet
strains of an imported sweet strainer
without experiencing half the emotions
that that old dinner horn created in my
manly bosom. Aye, the sweetest music
to me was the blast of that old conch-
she'll horn which echoed over hill and
dale every day at nooH-time. True, l
am soaring from the subject. At the
call for dinner, the men mechanically
dropped their tools and splitting the
worn out tobacco guilds from their
mouths, started for the house. On re-
turning to the field after dinner, l
looked around for my crowbar, but it
could not be found. In vain went over
the ground traversed before dinner. 1t
was the most mysterious case of disap-
pearance that ever came under my no
tice. Finally, the ''Old man" who was
as nervous as an eel, and had had his
eye on the sun as if counting the golden
moments that are being lost, ordered
me to ''go over to ncighbor Jones" and
borrow his crowbar. In the center of
the field, and directly in my path was a
tall elm tree. As l approached was
startled by wild unearthly yell, ac-
companied by a grating of teeth. The
sound came from the leafy branches of
the old elm. My heart jumped into
my throat (of course this is a
physical impossibility but it is allow
able in tales of peril My blood
turned colder than cake of. ice,
(another p. i.) as visions of panthers
who could spring five hundred feet upon
their victims, and other perils which |
had read of, arose before my startled
vision; 1 tried to turn aside, but some |
strange fascination drew me on. The
yells increased, the grating of the ami
mails teeth continued; soon l stood di- |
rectly underneath the branches of the |
tree. At that moment an excruciating |
howl of anguish caused me to up lift my |
eyes, while mechanically my lips |
breathed a-no, it wss not a prayer, |
gentle reader. With my eyes uplifted !
l beheld strange sight. The first |
thing beheld was the missing crowbar, |,
in the grasp of a strange animal, from
which was proceeding the sOui-splitting
cries. l Immediately went over my
natural history to find out what manner
of beast this was. The long sharp
looked familiar; also the
beak. The wings, which
hung like the sails of ship in a
calm. were recognizable; at last the
terrible truth rushed like a. whirlwind
to my mind. '.Enrekar' I cried, as l
turned from the spot and rushed to the
house after my shotgun. Loading the
gun with nails, railroad spikes and
other effective projectiles, hurriedly
returned. The cries and screams
me that my game had not vet
flown. Raising the gun to my shoulder
l. took a good aim and pulled the trig-
ger. Mingled with the report of the
gun was one long spasmodic yell,
which afterwards was informed by a
man of unquestionable veracity was
plainly heard in the adjoining county, a
heavy object came tearing to the ground,
bringing with it several large branches.
As the smoke cleared away, gazed
upon my victim. There lying on the
ground in the last throes of death, with
its life-blood staining the young grass,
was the largest specimen of the E Puri-
bus Unuas Il don't know the Latin
name exactly. but as it is customary
to give some jaw-breaking name
l guess E Pluribus will do) l ever
beheld. / measured that mosquito
(and have the exact measurement in
dellibly stamped upon my memory in
figures that never lie); it measured just
14.7 feet from wing to wing. l could
not at first account for its possession of
the crow-bar until we skinned the thing.
Then the mystery was solved. Deeply
in the big toe of the left foot,
was a large sliver-a portion of fence
rail, believe. With the natural sa-
gacity which this animal ever evinces it
had endeavored to remove the foreign
substance with the sharp point of the
crow-bar. have submitted copy of
the report to the Department of Agri-
culture, together with petition for a
Government appointment. but at this
writing have not yet received reply.
1t was my intention on starting out to
give the reader several little rem-