The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-01-22
Woman,s Wonderful Influence.

hih "iSioo u fo6SiIui illilltCilSC
over mans destinias," said Woodtick
William, the other day. as he breathed
gently on a chunk of blossom rock and
then wiped it carefully with the tail of
his coat.
woman in most cases is gentle and
long suffering, but if you observe her
close for several consecutive weeks you
will notice that she generally gets there
with both feet.
I've been quite q student of the fe-
male mind myself. l have. therefore,
had a good deal of opportunity to COM
pare the cvercdgc man with the everedge
woman as regards ketchin' on in our
general farewell journey to the tomb.
woman has tiggered a good deal in
my W destinies. My first wife was a
large, powerful woman, who married
me before hardly knew it. She mar
ried me down near Provost, in an early
day. Her name was Lorena. The
name didn't seem to suit her complex
ion and phizzeck rs Il general thing. 1t
was like calling the fat woman in the
museum Lily.
"Lorena was a woman of great
strength of purpose. She was also
strong in the wrists. Lorena was of
foreign extraction, with far away eyes
n large, earnest red hands. You
ought to have saw her preserve order
during the our for morning prayers.
l had a hired man there in Utah, in
them days. who was inclined to be n
scotter at our plain homemade style of
religion. So l told Lorena that | was a
little afraid that Orlando Whoopcnkaugh
would rise up suddenly while l was at
prayer and spatter my thinker all over
the cook stove, or create some other rue
ton that would cast q gloom over our
devotions.
'Lorena said: Never mind, William.
You are more successful in PRAYER, while
| am more successful in disturbances.
You go on with your petition and l will
preserve order
She did o Ihad hardly got a quar-
ter through the morning prayer ere
Mr.. Whoopenkaugh, the rank middle
from Ger the deep, rolling sea, began to
murmur, Give it to us easy and to ask
me i'll a sarcastic voice if / was sure that
I'd got the central office all right.
Just then 1 heard Lorcna rise, and
soon after that heard Orlando Whoop-
enkaugh fall. 1 drew my prayer to u
close andlooked on, a pleased and some
what interested beholder. At first Or
lando looked kind of ashamed to be
lighting with a woman, but pretty soon
he found that he had no time to be
ashamed. You ought to seen that low,
soothing cuss shed his yellow hair at
Lorena's request.
"Why. Lorena jest simply wore him
out, and he went away from Provost Il
changed man. heard afterward that
he was soured against ONE Last we
heard from him he was up around Salt
Lake wandering aimlessly about Zion
and asking the police if they knew of a
good nunnery that was designed special
ly for gentlemen.
"Lorena saved my life after that in a
singular manner. Being a large, power
tul woman, of course she no doubt pre-
served me from harm a great many
times; but on this occasion it was a clear
ease.
81 was then sinking on the Coopon
claim and had got the prospect shaft
down a couple of hundred feet and was
drifting for the side wall with indefinite
success. We was working a day shift
Of six men, blasting, hysting and a little
timbering. ! was in charge of the crew.
and eastern capital was furnishing the
ready John Davis, if you will allow me
that low term.
"Lorena and me had been a little edge.
ways for several days owing to a little
sassy remark made by her and a retort
on my part in which / th~oughtlessly
alluded to her brother who was at that
time serving out a little term for life
down at Canon City. and who, if his life
is still spared, is at it yet.
"lf | wanted to make Lorena lump
nine feet high and hollow, all | had to
do was jest to allude in a iecrine "a
to her family record. So she got mad
der and madden till at last It ripened
into open hostility, and about noon on the
18th day of September Lorena attacked
me with II large butcher knife and drove
me into the adjoining county. She told
me also that if | ever returned to Pro
vost she would cut me in two right be-
tween the pancreas and the watch peck
eft and feed me to the hens.
II thought that if she felt that way
about it | would not return. felt SO
hurt and so grievcd about it that I never
stopped till | got to Omaha. Then
heard how Lcrena, as a means in tho
hands of Providence, had saved my
improbable life.
when she got back to the house and
had put away her butcher knife, a man
came rushing in to tell her that the bows
had struck IL big pay streak of water,
and that the whole crew in the Coopon
was drowned, her husband among the
rest.
Then it dawncd upon Lorenzo how
She had saved me, and for the first time
in her life she burst into tears. People
who saw her said that her grief was ter
rible. Tears are sad enough when shed
by Il man, but when we see a strong
woman bowed i'll grief. we shudder.
II waited six weeks for Lorcna to
apologize and beg me to return. If she
did SO. the letter did not reach me.
Then married again. Woman has al
ways welded a great influence over me.
Especially those women who have mar
ricd me. l do not call to mind at this
time any of my wives who did not WELD
r powerful influence over me. Some
times it would cause one eye to swell up
and sometimes it would be the other.
Very few of my companions have died.
Most Of them chased me into the foot
hills with some deadly weapon, and
then asked for a divorce on the grounds
of descrtion.
NO one who has never deserted his
wife at her urgent request can fully real
izc the pain and anguish it costs. The
sensation is Just the same to-day as it was
the first time | ever deserted my wife.
LAS ! said, though a woman has 9