Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1886-04-07


sAM JONES At Hol1n II lII.l.xEs.
WILLIE.
stLadiks and Gentlemen and Fellow OFT.
issss Of Bazdsin county: I am glad to
stand before you to-day under the cir.
cumstances. If there il anything I deg
pise 1t is dull time. You have live
issue before you and I hear you are handl.
ing it in live manner. I want to see
every poor woman and child in this coun-
ty take one side or the other. I don't
like man that is uncertain in his choi ce.
I think man that won't take one side OF
the other may be good "sumthln. or
other" but not q good man. You have
your orators, and there are great many
people whs will cheer at meeting like
this and he Of little service when the pinch
comes; but what you want is votes, don't
you sect Votes. I used to hear folks
sing I want to be an angel and l wanted
to be one then, but since have be-
come grown up l had rather be q man than
anything on Gods universe. On such an
occasion as this am obliged to take sides:
I have either get to take the side OF
drunkenness, debauchery and damnation.
or the side Of truth and prosperity and
sobriety. ''When you want to find which
side l am on 60 and find out which side
the great ruler of this universe is on, and
put me down on that side. Go ask the
angels which side the son of God and
they are on. I am on that side. Find
out which side the good wives and moth
ers are on, and put me down on that side.
I have lived thirty eight years. and |
have learned that it is good tor me and
my wife and children to fight this traffic.
have nothing against any one. dis
claim any unklndness toward liquor men.
One wished this morning that when that
loose mule ran across the street he
would meet Sam Jones and he would kick
his brains out. Well, I had rather be
mule-kicked than saloon-kieked. had
rather stand behind mule than IN front
of you, if you are saloonkeeper. Moth
ing but an evil man will engage IN the
sale of liquor. In Chattanooga l said
that nothing but an internal scoundrel
would sell liquor, and nothing but an in
fernal fool will drink it. They cursed me
on the streets next day-cursed me to
my face, behind my back, don't you
see? told them that if they would go
with me to the home of that poor woman
down yonder in an obscure part of the
city, and let me ask her Of her trouble,
she would say:l married an industrious,
hard working young man, and we did
well until he began to come toy0ur saloon
to buy liquor, and new he is in the pen.
itentiary of the state of Tennessee! And
then, if l were to put my ear close down
to her side, I would hear the blood drop.
ping from that heart-drip, drip, drip!
Do you notice that while you are
dressed in rags that saloonkeeper has on
good clothes, and lives in fine house
Well, if you were to 90 and ask that man,
Boss, where did you get all those fine
things,' he would reply. if he spoke
Alright, Get them from you, you rascal.
Cobb county, there came an old darkey
to the little town; he ripped out an oath,
aud swore, I am going to carry 200 votes
old negro got drunk and laid down In
barroom and died, and I think the
sympathizing saloonist raised 90 cents by
general subscription for his benefit.
Loud applause.
'This talk about being tao rough on
the liquor men reminds me of the man
who was attacked by vicious dog.
He stuck pitchfork clean through him
and pinned him to the earth. The owner
came out very angry, and said:
"What did you stick that pitchfork
through my dog for?"
well what made your dog attack me?"
'Well, why didn't you hit him with
the other end?"
why didn't he come at me with the
other endw Laughter.
This is just my position. If they
come at me with the teeth end I will
meet them with the fork end. Laughter
and loud applause.
"The cry is that it will deprive poor
folks and the colored people Of the privi-
lege Of getting drunk. That is just the
class that want to get to heaven. They
get so little in this world, want them to
reap the benefit of heaven. If these old
rich devils want to import it, guzzle II
down, and go to hell, let them 90. We
want to put legs on these jugs and demi.
johns and run them out Of here.
"Here are these barkeepers living in
purple and fine linen and farinQ
sumptuously every day, and you poor
negroes 60 from the saloon by way OF
the court house to the changing. That's
the route. [Cries of Oats the treof. u
There is complaint that you can't GEL
little for medical use I have no.
tasted, touched nor handled drop II
nine years, and am as healthy man al
you ever looked In the face.
IF there is anything hate it is a lit
| tie Quack Of doctor with half box OF
pills and a gallon of whisky to doctor
all creation. If you are doctor anC
can't get along without whisky, thu
quicker you are all IN the changing thu
| better.
Now there is talk of depreciating rea
| estate. Don't you know that you woult
not have barroom established on tina
corner lot of yours for half its value
1t is just like great many of their tales
! It's lie
They say the Lords army ought to b.
a peaceable army. Well, so it ought
I havan't had but two fights since ~
been preaching, and, by the grace 0
God, will not have another if l can out
run the fellow. If any man don't lik
what say about it, let him go eutsid
the corporation and wait till come-h
had better carry about two weeks ration
with him, though.
II want you all to join in grand oil
rally for the cause Of right. and let
bring old Baldwin county cut of thei
clutches. They have their fingers o
our threats, but if you will do your dut
we will be free yet. I came here, no
because I had the least doubt about tn
election. but because when I die I wan
the angels to say: He had hand !
winning the great victory
Il shall never touch another drop 8
long as live, and if the doctors say
must take it; or die, I'll tell my wife I
get my shroud ready.
The barkeepers may do with me {
they like. Yes, you may cut my hea
of, but I'll be in Heaven before you ca
get back to your saloon.
Good Results in Every Case.
D. A. Bradford, wholesale paper dea
or of Chattanooga, Tenn, writes, TIL
he was seriously afflicted with sever
cold that settled on his lungs; had trie
many remedies without benefit. BEN