davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
From the Ne1D YORK Sun.


The physicians of the District of Columbia
are cooling off in their Indignation at Pension
Comm missioner Black for demanding from one
of their number a certificate setting forth the
allment from which a sick clerk was suffer
ing. The doctors were Mortified that Gen.
Black should make a request involving such
breach of professional faith on their part.
They carried their point against him, but
the General has likewise gained his point.
which was the breaking up OF the granting of
''slck leaves to department clerks on fraud
ulent certificates. Thousands of days work
have been lost to the government every year
by The needless absence of clerks who get on
the sick list when they are suffering from no
ailment. An old Treasury clerk says:
81 usually have three turns at the sick list
in year. The first is in the spring, when
the Fortress Monroe season is at its height;
the second is in October. when the partridg e
shooting is good in Virginia; and the third IS
about Christmas time, when L go to New
York to see my friends. [ have a young
medical friend who ALWAYS prescribes a
change of air when 60 to him, and gives M
a certificate"
"And are YOU really so sick as to be d. :
abledF' he was asked.
''oick!" WAS the reply "Whv, bless yOT /
was never SICK day in nv life"
If, instead of holding controversies ith
medical practitioners OF hi2h standing.t en-.
Black would ferret out the doctors who ave
fraudulent certificates to shamming paI nts,
he would be doing a great public 81 ice.
There is no question but that many IL ecu
Nous doctors here do 8 large busiEt Is in
issuing med cal certificates for d doilart| rive
apiece to the shrks in the department
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
The Andover Controversy.

The relations between the professors of
Andover Theological Seminary and the
Board OF Visitors have not been happy
for some time. The formal complaint
which the board has made against the
professors embodies the folio wing
charges:
(1) The professors hold beliefs and have
taught doctrines not In harmony with the
constitution OF the seminary. 90 They
are not men OF sound and orthodox princl-
Piles in divinity. (3) Egbert c. Smyth,
in breach of the requirement OF Article II .
ofthe Associate Foundation, upon which
he is placed. is not an orthodox and con-
sistent Caevanist, but, on the other hand,
believes and teaches, in several particu-
lars, what is opposed to the seminary
creed. (4) And the professors are teach
ing that which is in opposition to the creed
OF the seminary, and 10 the true intention
Of the founders OF it, as expires sed in the
statutes.
Tothe first charge Prof. smyth submits
that it is too indefinite to require an an
swer. To the second, that il is chiefly,
if not wholly, irrelevant. TO the third,
that it is indefinite, and to the fourth,
that 1t is misleading and indefinite.
Prof. Smythe further denies that any
professor on the Associate Foundation
is required to be man of sound and or
tbOdoX principles according TO the funda-
mental and distinguishing doctrines Of
the Gospel of Christ as summary
expressed in the Westminster Assembly's
Shorter CatecEism."
The declaration, he claims, which be is
required to subscribe and repeat is not
the one quoted IN the charge. The word
heterodox, which occurs in one OF the
charges, refers to the opinion held by
Prof. Smyth that Christ was not two per-
sons. God and man; that he had denied
mans free moral agency and the distino.
tion between natural and mental ability,
and that, in relation to the Trinity, be had
taught that it did not mean three persons
On Dec. % the board is to give the case a
hearing in Boston.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
Sitting Down with a Preach(
From Harper'S Magazine.

AhuDQsLV6s
In Western town dwells Elder - a
clergyman very well known throughout his
State for ability and shreWdness. 1t is pretty
generally beleved, on account of his evident
knowledge of the ways of the world, that he
was rather "rapid" in his youth. Among his
skeptical neighbo is hotel keeper of jovial
disposition and liberal heart. Whenever the
elder has a specially convincing and sweeping
discourse prepared 1T ID his wont to give
special invitations to his doubling friends to
be present, and these are sometimes accepted
with the proYiso that the dominic and his
lady shall meet the party at the hotel at dim
ner on an appointed day during the week, so
they may have an opportunity to defend
themselves. On these occasions dinner often
lasts the whole afternoon, and the elder is
Obliged to parry the combined blows of the
opposition. On one occasion mine host found
his match IN the clergyman in a worldly way,
and 1T was this circumstance that l set
out to relate. The landlord re-
turned on certain Saturday evening
from a trip to the far West, anu next morn
ing found him, with his wife, seated in q
front pew. When the plate was passed. he
ielt in all his pockets, but could find only a
comb, jackkniie and circular piece OF ivory
marked 49, which is supposed by poker
PLAYERS to represent value The latter was
dropped in the plate under the vigilant eve
of the pastor, but unnOtced by the sexton,
whose eyes had been dimmed by age. On re-
ceivng the collection the pastor missed the
"chiu," and asked the sexton for 1t. The lat
ter had thrown 1t away, supposing it to be q
mark of disrespect from some scOffer. Elder
R knew his man, and caused the repre-
sentative of value to be recovered. Next
morning. as the landlord was dilating upon
his trip to a crowd of friends in his office,
Elder r. appeared, and, advancing to the
counter, placed the chip down with the click
80 familiar to connOisseurs and asked: Can
you redeem that this morning. Brother
So" OF course, s. could not do less
than hand out a IS bill, and the elder departed
after expressing the hope that he might
always be so lucky. Mine host says he shall
not ''sit down" with preacher again.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

From the Chicd0o Herald.
Ever hear of dog that would swallow
money|' asked G man with thin lips who
stood on street corner yesterday. They've
got beast up at Billy Wright's that is ahead
of anything of his kind ever saw. His name
is Danger, and an ugler looking brute never
saw. When he was pup grip car run over
him and nearly ended his career. He had Just
begun to coDvaesce, and was summing himself
on the pavement one day, when a hansom cab
swung around the corner, and running over
him broke his back. But despite his deformi
ties Danger is a great dog. Drop a small
coin on The floor and he will swallow 1t
quicker than lightning. Why, it is only few
and yesterday he gulped down a half dollar
place last week and toss ID quarter on the
counter in payment tor glass of beer. Re
ceiving two l0c. pieces in change he
attempted to thrust the coins into his pocket,
but his hand being unsteady, one of the little
silver pieces fell to the floor. Danger was
upon it in an instant, and a second later it
slipped down his gullet. Where did that
dime go?' asked the topper in surprise, Dog
swallowed it, replied the barkeeper. That
dog swallowed it?' les, oh. | guess not
We'll, if you don't believe it, drop the other
dime The customer looked at thes bark eeper
and then al the dog. Well, We'll see il he
did, he said at length, as he dropped the
other coin upon the floor. There was a rush,
a clashIng of chops and then Danger wiped
his whiskers with his tongue and looked for
dazed manner. Give him a dollar gurgled
the fellow back of the bar. Give him dol
lar?' reiterated the customer, milky, mot in 900
yeara,D
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

From the SomerpiLle Journal.
/ wrote letter to my love,
And all my passion told.
l called her Daring" Sweetheart"
"Dove"--
For distance made me bold.
vowed to her that sad and drear
Would be my wretched life,
Unless she turned a friendly ear
And said shed be my wife.
| begged that she would let me know
Without delay my fate.
That was a month or more ago.
Still anxiously l wait.
How can my love so cruel be5
How can she try me sof
And her delay in answering mo,
Does 1t mean yes or "No?"
What's that? The bell? The postman's ring
"A letter, sir, for you"
Ten thousand hallelujahs sing!
My darling's heart Is true!
But no! What's this? "Your letter, sir'--
| see ben cath the lamp
The very note | wrote to her,
And mailed without a stamp!
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

Two eminent Republican chieftains
have just exchanged at long range few
words of war. The Hon, w. E. Chand-
Ter, Secretary of the Navy, in an inter-
view said that Mr. B. f. Jones, Chairman
of the Republican National Committee,
was indIscreet enough during the last
Presidential campaign to make the base
less charge that President Arthur and
his Cabinet were lukewarm in their sup
port of Blaine. Mr.. Jones retorts by say
ing that the charge is not baseless, and
that the Hon.W. e. Chandler is bad man,
and that he wouldn't like to make public
the facts upon which his opinion or Mr..
Chandler is based. The public, by a
large majority, agrees with Mr.. Jones in
his opinion of the eX-SecretarY.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
Lorillard's Plan.


Mr.. Pierre Lorlllard, the millionaire
employer, contributes to the last number
of the North American Review a rather
interesting paper on Labor and Prop.
arty." He makes a startling statement
at the outset. when any one" he says,
sat the present day takes the side OF labor
in its struggle for existence he is called a
Socialist" And Mr.. Lorillard's COM
ment upon the fact he states is that
sit seems incredible in this age of reason
that the friends and advocates of labor
should be classed with NihIists, Anarch-
lists and dynamiters. and that murder and
destruction OF property should be con-
sldered a part of their mission. That
such an opinion is general cannot be
doubted; but to reach the conclusion that
the world is not yet coming to an end by
means of Socialism, it is only necessary
to give little study to the relations OF
capital and labor
What is capitalY Mr.. Lorillard says it
is "merely the accumulated tokens OF
past labor, saved by thrifty and prudent
men, for the use of the present army OF
should labor be jealous OF capital? "The
capitalist is merely laborer," he ex-
plains, "who, by industry and judicious
savings, has condensed some of Iabor's
past wages to distribute them to his fel.
lows that they may again produce a Iiv-
ing, and that some small portion may be
recondensed TO reproduce itself and en-.
all h,1t,,
"The rights Of labor" continues Mr..
Lorillsrd, Eat this time engage the atten-
ton OF all intelligent persons, and the
future of capital and labor makes old
women and miserly capitalists sbudder
for fear Of parting with their dollars in
acknowledging the rights OF their CO.
laborers."
Mr.. Lorillard has been an employer for
| many years of large number of persons,
whose condition and prospects he has
carefully considered, and he mas hit upon
a plan, which he believes to be original,
for securing for labor perfect justice and
political equality, so that it cannot be
said that justice is all on the side OF CAPT
tai. His plan is to establish a sort Of
labor congress-House and Senate--with
a supreme court attachment to decide
| labor questions growing, probably
out of the legislation of the labor
congress. Mr.. LorIllard suggests thai
this congress and supreme court
| shall hold months session each
| year and that labor unions shall bear the
expense of it. This plan is very nice il
theory, but how would it work in prac
ticee 1t clearly isn't Mr.. Lorillard's gcoC
fortune to solve the labor problem.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The accident attended with fatal re-
suits, reported as having happened to the
Red Star steamship Westmoreland on her
recent trip from Antwerp to New York,
is a very singular one. A double sea,
such as is sometimes witnessed by
mariners, rose in front of the vessel,
swept in over her bows, and bursting
through her forward deck killed six
persons and seriously injured fourteen
others. 1t looks like the accident was
due to imperfect stowage, for if she were
too deep in the water forward her capacity
tor rising to meet the OncOming wave
would be impaired. A sea shipped on the
quarter or amidships is no uncommon
thing, but the Westm oreland must have
scooped it up.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The chief signal officer, Gen. Hazen,
has submitted to the Secretary of War a
bill for the reorganization OF the signal
service, Incorporating it as a regular
bureau OF the War Department. In his
bill he gives the proposed bureau charge
of weather predictions, army signaling
and the maintenance and repair OF the
military and telegraph lines. Gen. Hazt n
has been very severely criticised since he
has been at the head of the Signal Office
for number of acts of alleged doubtful
propriety, but no one has ever accused
him of lack of zeal in connection with
the work of which he has charge.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The CourIer-Journal, speaking OF the
story that Mr.. Manning, our Minister to
Mexico, took little more wine than was
good for him at a dinner lately, says that
scandals OF one kind and another may be
expected in the public service when men
unknown TO the public service and the
public are dragged from obscurity and
pressed into conspicuous places. This
hardly applies TO Minister Manning, who
was not dragged from obscurity by any
means. Did Mr.. Watterson desire con-
spicuous place under the present admin
istration, and is he smarting under n
failure to get IL,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The sooner the crime OF lynching is
checked by the application OF the severest
penalties known to the law and the exer-
else of the utmost vigilance in detecting
the criminals, the better it will be for our
safety and reputation. While the refer
ence is more particularly to the lynching
OF the three negroes at Brennan, Texas,
the other day, it would be invidious to
attack any particular State on this score.
Lynching is becoming terribly frequent,
the people evidently forgetting that the
courts alone have the right TO declare the
forfeiture Of human lie.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The Wisconsin Central railroad has
adopted q very wise measure in abolish
Ing the system OF chipping" on its parlor,
dining and sleeping cars, and its ayowed
determination to discharge all employees
found guilty Of accepting tips from pas
vengers. simultaneously with the order,
however, the pay Of the employees has
been raised. Backing OF shoes is made
the only exception to the rule, and the
porters, who alone are permitted to rem
der this service, are limited TO fee OF ten
cents.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
Tiger Bill.
From. The Suraeuse Standard.


The circus season is over. and a number of
people who have been on the road are making
their temporary headquarters in this city.
few OF the guild happened to assemble at
John Clancy's saturday afternoon, and enter
tanned each other with "reminiscences of their
summer work.
"When we were at Olean, ''sald Tom Dolphin.
who was with Pollman's circus, I'VE picked
up gigantic lumberman named William
Pike, who had never been further west than
Michigan. We proceeded to bill him as
Tiger BILL noted scout and reformed des-
perauo. He was an awfnlly pig fellow. but
as tender as chicken, and wouldn't dare to
shoot a cat. AT Johnstown we got five or
six tame Indians and painted them up to
XIII. Then we started q Wild West show to
top of the performance. Tiger Bill was an
nOunced as the best shot, and. altogether, the
most remarkable cowboy OF the age He
would come into the ring, sniff, cry, 'ha, |
smell Injuns. and then stalk stealthIly along
until he discovered them lying in ambush
when he would blaze away and kill all but
one or two, whom he would finish with a
knife. The audience was assured that he oh.
tanned his name from the fact that he once
killed three tigers on the plains with one
shot. He loved to impress people with the
notion that he was very tough cuss. Every
hotel we'd 20 to he'd say to the waitress in a
deep voice, which you could hear all over the
room:
"'Bring two pounds of raw beef and pint
OF blood
1.-THE girl would reply that she couldn't get
the Dlood, ana ne would reslgnedly ask for
milk instead. The raw beef he ate right
al ng. don't think he liked it. but he wor-
ried 1t down in good style. After a while, in
addition TO his wild West show act. we got
MIN to do feats OF craftsmanship. He would
knock the pipe out OF the mouth of the man
smoking II or brush the ashes OF a cigar with
his trusty revolver. The weapon WAS loaded
with blank cartridges, and the moment he
fired the other man would bite the pipestem
in two or bite the cigar 30 suddenly that the
ashes would tumble OF. One night when
Tiger Bill had inspired the audience more
than usual with a sense Of his feroclty, nc
essayed TO shoot the ash OF cigar in the
mouth OF one OF our boys who, for the fun of
the thing, wouldn't disturb the ash. but kept
smoking the cigar as cool as before. Tiger
Bill FREQ four or five unsuccessful shots, and
then the audience began to laugh and hiss
and he ran OF in rage"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

Postmaster Lamar's bright answer TO
bis querIsts OF Indiana respecting the au-
Ehenticity OF the story concerning the
"resurrected and prophetic" darby of
Liberty county, alluded to by the MORN
ING NEWS some time since, conveys a
useful moral also. A soft answer turn
9TH away the wrath OF the superstitious
tery often, when a serious reply would
)nly infame 1t. Superstition Is rarely
removed by argument, while humor may
ih6me IL.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

Gen. B. +. Butler might, if unexpect-
edly reduced in circumstances, find it
lust little difficult to obtain employment
in a fiduciary capacity in an office. Judge
Darpenter's statement to the jury in the
Ease OF the National Home for Nolun teers
against him, in the United States Circuit
Court, that it is "a bookkeeping con-
!roversy," coupled with an adverse ver-
dict OF $16,537 90, would scarcely be a
good Testimonial.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
INDEE TONEV ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEErINGs-DeKalb Lodge No. 0, l. o. o. F.
SPECIAL NoTICE-Equitable Loan and
Building Association.
PROPOSALS FOR PAINTING, ETC. AT POLICE
BARRACKS. B. Howard. City Surveyor
REAL EsTATE-C. II. Dorset, Real Estate
Dealer.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE-Central Railroad.
For CoHES's BLUFF. ETC.-Stermer Ethel.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMENTs-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
Photography; Miscellaneous.
FIRE CRACEERs-C. NJ. Gilbert & Co.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The blizzard Is still master of the situa.
ion. Violent exercise out Of doors is as
necessary as overcoats or umbrellas. But
human nature ia hard to please, any way.
It longs for the sun in winter and Ice in
hummer.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

There appears to be disposition on the
part OF one or two Washington CORE
Ipondents to pun the Hon. Norman j..
Colman, Commissioner of Agriculture.
1t is curious that when an officer is doing
his duty he can't be let alone. The con-
Jtant putting of Mr.. COlman may result in
making him pulled up and, consequent
L. a worthless official
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The Hon. Abram s. Hewitt says that
when be was q boy at home "the servant
girl always sat at the table with the
family" and thinks that "society is some
what 10 blame for the barriers it has
srocted in the house against do
nestle servants" Mr.. Hewitt would
lct wisely by disposing Of the
isriG problem before tackllng the SER
rant girl question. One is about as diff
cult as the other, and lifetime is hardly
snfioient TO solve either.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

The Secretary of War insists upon pro-
vision being made for an Assistant Secre-
AIRY Of War. In view of the fact that the
secretary is frequently absent from Wash
ngton such an officer would seem to be
necessary.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
aatupsral sstrrri,anntee.
The Night Before Christmas,

WE EXPECT TO KEEP OPEN HOUSE
AND SHALL BE GLAD TO SEE YOU. Am
WHILE 1T is POSSIBLE WE MAY EVEN
THEN HAVE A SUFFICIENT ASsORT
MENT OF GOODS TO ENABLE YOTr m
MAKE THE SELECTION YOU DESIRE
WE WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU YOT
WATT TILL THE LAST MINUTE. ORR
STOCK IS NEW, BRIGHT, AND MANY
ARTICLES CAN NOW BE OBTATYFn
WHICH AS WE SELL IT WILL BETv
POSSIBLE FOR US TO DUPLICATE
EVEN IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO MAKE
ANY SELECTIONS, COME AND SEE THE
PRETTY GOODS. 1T COSTS NOTHING
AND YOU ARE WELCOME.
LUDDEEN & BATESS NH
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

1t is noticeable in most Of the reports Of
the heads Of departments this year that
good many of the chiefs of bureaus, who
already get very fair salaries, want their
pay increased. 1t may be that they de-
serve an increase, but it wouldn't be diff
cult to I'LL their places if they should
resign, even if the salaries should not be
raised
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

A conspiracy is on foot to counterfeit
Mr.. Blaine's magnetism. A man in Bos-
ton has discovered metallic composition
capable Of completely outing of mag
retio attraction. The opponents of Mr..
Blaine would do well to secure the SER
vices of the inventor at once. But then,
again. the inventor claims that it is the
only missing link to make the power OF
magnetism OF practical value.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
CURRENT COMMENT.


From the Boston GIoJe fDen,.)
Perhaps. without being entirely conscious
ot IL himself Douglass is more of prophet OF
the Republican party than lie Is of his race.
HIS assoc iatl0ns are largely with white men;
MS wife IS white woman, and such public
commence as he has received has been by
the favor of the Republican party.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

From the Boston Dai3y 4 dgertissr (ReD.l
1t has been decided to summon special
panel OF 500 citizens in order to obtain ma
terlal for the selection of twelve men to sit as
jurors in the McQuade case. District Attor
ney MARITIME has undertaken to obtain bio
graphy through detectives OF every man on
tre list. To such cumbrous devices is justice
driven IN order to protect the rights OF
doodle" Aldermen.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

Senator Edmunds appears to be about
as premature IN declining the RepuDli-
can Presidential nomination as ia Mr..
Blame III commencing 50 early to work
up to it. Time works many changes.
The dirge OF death and human hopes is
no unwonted sound. Besides, Sufficient
unto tho day is the evil thereof" De-
feat comes soon enough. Mr.. Blaine
should know. He has been there.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06

Cousin Ben Folsom, lately appointed
Consul at Sheffield, started for his post OF
Iuty Saturday with the intention of work
ny very hard. If his intentions only last
be will save the President any regret for
having provided for his wife's relative,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-06
No ArtfuI Dodeer About Him.

7 FUUs INC NeWDNts bILqnche IDe"'I
An enumeration OF the important questions
winch VIII force themselves upon the atten-
ION OF Congress at its coming session would
oe an insult to the INTEL gent reader. Presl-
dent Cleveland viii handle them all and well.
Ehere Is nothing of the artful dodger about
nim. whatever else may be said of his capa-
hilIfias