The Portland daily press., 1886-01-19

Burdette saws that ''nothing goes into print the
way man writes 1t" Burdette may complain
about this but every newspaper has correspon-
dents who would be bowling mad if their contri-
buttons should be printed as they write 'em.
Ihad the neuralgia for three months in my face
and suffered so much that was afraid it would
drive me crazy. After taking part of bottle of
Athlophoros the pain all left me as by magic. Ma
mic Dietrich, 16 Hudson ST., New Haven, CT.
A man having built large house was at loss
what to do with the rubbish HIS irish steward
advised hmto have pit dug large enough TO
contain it, "And what" said he "shall do with
the earth dig up from it?" To which the stew
ard, with great gravity, replied
@Haye the pit large enough to hould it ALL
CUREFoR CRoUP-Use DR.. Thomas's Electric
oil according to directions. 1t is the best remedy
for all sudden attacks of colds, pain and infam-
nation, and for injuries.
Workhouse boy, who had been apprenticed to a
small farmer brought up when be had run away:
Guardian-Did they beat you?
GGardlan-Then why did you run away?
Boy-Please, sir, soon after got there, a pig
died. they sailed it, and we had lur W eiS \ u IL
Then a calf died. and they sailed it, ana we nad
fur to eat that; then masters grandmother uleui
and seed em taking some salt up stairs, so
funG away
Many Of the leading physicians of Louisville and
the Southwest chew CoIgans Taffy Tou and rec
ommend it to their patients.
A timely hint for people afflicted with water
pipes that are liable to freeze comes from fto o
proved by experiment that common glazed cotton
battin wrapped around the pipe is the best non,
conductor that can be used. The batting should
he mt on the pipes to the thickness OF one to
three inches according to exposure, ana fastened
very loosely with twlne
There is no one article in the line of medicines
that gives so large return for the money as
good porous strengthening plaster, such as Car
ter's Smart Weed and Belladonna Backaehe Plas-
tiers.
The heating up of house untunes in short
time its piano. This is not due, however, to the
expanding or contracting OF the strings unqeI lne
variations of temperature but TO tne vaIlailiQahs
produced in the sounding board under the mnu-
ence of the increased dryness Of the air when fur
naces and stoves are burning. The sounding Doard
is ALWAYS made of spruce, because of the superior
resonance of that timber; but spruce is the wood
most affected by changes IN moisture
The Sufferer from Consumption or
any Wasting Disease.-H not permanently
cured will find greater relief-in the use OF
SCOTT ET1utSlOt VI FAtO WV easO'
oil with Hypophosphites than IN any
other remedy they can use.
The latest abbreviation crank halls from Hi
nois He registered at a south side hotel mus:
aY & etn 1t was deciphered to indicate "Wya-
net" out in Kansas they. always write LeaVen,
worth III WORTH" and Wyaddott "Y g." All
this Is done in the interest of economy-not
through Incidence. There was man once whose
name was James Hole, and who was so lazy tnat
in registering his name he simply made ID" ana
then punched a hole in the paper.
Why don't you try Carriers Little Liver Pills?
They are positive cure for sick headache and all
the ills produced by disordered Liver. Only one
pill dose.
Rochester IN. " rhymster has put the
weather signs of the period into this slngsong
condensation:
A sun of red is weather warm,
A sun of blue is general storm,
A crescent red is weather cold,
A crescent blue is fail foretold,
star of red no change implies,
blue star, local stormy skies,
square of black on flag OF white
A cold wave comes in all its might