The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1886-11-20

A Boston man has been granted
patent on Il machine for cutting the
coupons of of bonds. Every news
paper Office will need one, sooner or
later. We have had our shears
sharpened, and will he able to worry
along without the continuance for
another year, at least; perhaps two
years.
81 wish had eyes in the back of
my head" said IL young lady the
other evening. "Why ?" asked de-
voted admirer, breathlessly. $50
that l could see what was going
on without the trouble of turning
my head" you can turn my head
withoutany trouble" responder the
youth with "a gloomy sigh.
"Yes, Charley is good enough
sort of fellow" remarked Tom,
"but then he is so confoundedly abb
sent-minded He borrowed five
dollars of me the other day, and
when he called at my place to return
the money, bowed if he didn't for
get what he came for, and actually
borrowed another FIVE"
Burdett's side show: Remembah
that this is the only show having on
exhibition the statesman who has
gone out of politics, the Ohio man
without an Office and the original
Garfield man that we have here in
a glawse case the reformer who is
working the reform act without n
salary, and the private Waterman
standing wide awake on duty we
have here Il chnrch choir singing
and living in perfect harmony, not
having quarreled during the past
fifteen minutes here we have an
actress with but one husband, her
own and only; also will arrive per
next steamer, consigned to this show
an English nobleman who has not
proposed to Mary Anderson-the
only living specimen on the face oil
the globe-and all spread outbeforC
your wondering eyes for the small
sum of quatovdollar.
Enough" is the title of a poem
now going the rounds of the press
We are ready to agree with the au.
thor without reading it.
Just before Congress adjourned
Representative Herman complained
of malarious symptoms: "Takt
k'neen, said a friend. "Well, I will.
replied Herman, thoughtfully. "I'vc
been taking qui-nine, but it dosen'
seem to do me any good"
A Georgia colored debating society
was lately discussing (Which is tn,
best for laborilg man, to work fol
wages or part of the crop ?" An ole
"uncle' spoke the sense of the meet
ing when he said "Bofe was d,
best, if dey could only be brung to
gedder somehow
Mistress (to applicant for cook
What experience have you had az
cook? Applicant: l was giver
years in me lasht place, mum. Mis-
tress: Why did you leave there
Applicant; The master and mis-
tress both died, mum. Mistress
What did they die of? Applicant
Indigestion, mum.
you can lead horse to the water
but you can't make him drink, say
the old saw You couldn't max,
some men drink either if you tool
them to a hydrant.
A California man tried to run Il.
way from his wife, and boarded I
sailing vessel for Honolulu. His
wife went by steamer, got their first
met him when he landed and es
corted the unhappy man back home
At first her conduct was attributed
to her strong love for her husband
but it was afterward ascertaineC
that he had concealed her falls
teeth before he left.
Clara lin carriage with horse run
ming away: DO you think you cal
stop him with one hand, George
George with his teeth set:
d-don't think c-can st-stop hin
b-but can keep him in the road
Clara with perfect confidence,
Very well, try it for another mil'
and then, if he dosen't stop, use bot
hands.