Nevada County picayune., 1886-01-14
HunO,CaS ColHmn.


 'I don't love you and won't marry you,' she said 0 him in 8 pet. 1.-Two negatives mhke an af | frmative, my dear; lets go and see n parson." he replied. They vent --Chicsgo Tribune
 Beans are no longer tsple ar tielo of diet in literary circles ]" Boston. Their place has been iak en ty grit and coraiield pess. Let the work ofreConstrueticn go on.-- Atlanta Constitution
 When old Mrs. Grayedown read about the cremation ot 70 many dead bodies, exclaimed: Only to think of such goings on. lt Is n burning shame!"
 Customer-'IUavc you some good imported cigarsi' &er Clerk-"Not just now, bat ve will have in about an hour. The print CT around the corner is working on the labels now. - Chicago News.
 Ii is always very pleasant for k young man to have his young wife 10 knit him a pair of socks, but II requires considerable diplomacy on his part to ask her which part is meant for the toes without hurt ing her feelings. N. '. Mail.
 A down-east fire company, in resolution on deceased member says: "He has responded to hi' last alarm It is q wonder they didn't add that he "has gone 10 ai. last fire. ."-Lowell Times.
 The Gar sleeps with his pc dog, and we regard such cicum stance as fit cause for action bN the society for the prevention 0 cruelty to animals. The poo brute is liable to be blown 10 pieces by dynamite any pisht.-Lowcl Citizen.
 70 where gre the girls of th' past.n asked a poat in the Chicag' Rambler. If he means for us t' answor the conundrum, we woul' say they are getting ready 10 b the grandmothers of the fCture.- Lowell Citizen.
 It is said that electricity is nov successfully used in removing th freckles from the face. As this i the age of invention. there is n telling how soon plan will be dis covered, to blow ont corns wit gunpowdcr.-Phila. Chronicle Her ad.
 A man who blew a fog.horn i Montreal was sentenced to foU months imprisonment. Ii Not ristown boy were to go to Montgca and whistle through his fingers h would probably be sentenced t i'm 3risonment for ifa.-Norristowi Herald.
 "You say that the women c Timbuctoo have their noses bore and wear jewels in them" IS travellers assert" Then a Tim bnctoo woman must be like Vu ritan yacht. How do vou mak, that outsr "Boc&use she has he sccnter bored."-Boston Courier
 It is not permitted Mexican l. ride in the same carriage with , woman to whom he is betrotAed This i- probably because there i' always more or less danger of peo pie in carriage falling out. Whey a senorita has lassoed a beau, sh, takes no riSks.-Bostoa Tran script,
 "lou look weak Brown. Whatc tae matter?' "Bought horse last week. Ugly beast! Kicked me on the cheek" ''So; see a braiso.r Yes but 1 am in excel lent health-slrong as a horse 'Indeed" 70 yes; carry horse, scar without the least trouble. " Chicago Rambler.
 Drunkenness is now said to be q courageous disease. Tl.is is no n"w discovery, however. It has lany been known tnat a man re- turning home perfectly sober after doing the town with some boon companions, is pretty sure to catch it from lis wife when he gets into the house. --Somcryille Journal.
 A society paper in describing ie oricr in which bridal party rlsSed down the church aisle say,: