davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
Big Melons.

Must b big money IN the melon
business s&id loquaeious man On an
Illinois Central train. e. The farmers
ought 10 b getting rich- Why, down in
Michigan where used to live we often
raised 90 whoPping big melons on =
patch no bigser'n the floor Of this here
car
Th4f'll never do replied the man in
the next sat, with an increlnlous smile.
ThAfn never do in the world SIX
hundred melons would cover a space a.
big a. the floor Of this car all over 80 YOU
couldn't see the ground. II must b. your
stories that are whoppeFs instead Of the
melons.
That shows an you know about the
melon business Of course. Go melons
would cover pieee Of ground Of thai
size al up, and a good deal more. Every
body knows that. There wouldn't be
any fun in the business If they didn't
Why, sir. when ! had a truck farm over
in Michigan melons we're dirt cheap. and
II took a good deal Of ingenuity to make
anything out Of EN- But BY a little in
genuity and close fiegerin' managed to
come ont ahead, though the market WAS
simply awful. Ny farm lay right along
side railroad switch, and used 70 have
the company give me train Of box ears
on that track. Then after the vines got
a good start aid just A. my melons we're
about 70 grow-melons grow powerful
fast and big out Of the soil Of old Michi-
gan when they get started-Id have nav
men start the vines CROWN into the ear
doors In thiee days and nights Ia
have every one Of them ears loaded full
to the roof with nice, ripe Wsternelons.
and all there was 20 DO then was to hitch
on an engine and draw 'em % market
Yes, sir, the starting up Of the locomotive
picked the melons, and saved me the ex-
pense Of picking and loading. Guess
you never raised melons for livin'. did
YOU, mister?-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
Keeping Cider Sweet.

If the following directions are followed.
says the Co,a.fry Goodman. cider may be
preserved sweet for an indefinite period
3. First, take only well-ripened. sound ap-
ples and crush and extract the juice
Let the Pouiace LIE a few hours before
pressing. Have everything with which
the polnaoe OF juice comes in contact
sweet and clean strain the juice through
a filter, a. follows. On the top put a layer
Of clean straw, below fine gravel. 3r
coarse sand washed clean Of dirt, and be
meath a flannel cloth. such filter viii
take out all particles Of pomaoe. &c.
which cause decay. Having the apple
juice pure. put II in kettle and bring il
10 a boil. skimming of all scum which
rises during the process. While the ei-
der / still hot or warm, can or bottle ii
a. you would fruit, 10 preserve IL Bot
Ties may be made tight by oorking and
sealing the same by dipping the corks in
a composition Of rosin and tallow melted
The main thing in the preservation l. 10
keep il from the air perfectly The juice
Of grapes and other fruits may be pre-
served in the same way Il i essential
in all these that the product be kept in a
cool place Of near even temperature.
Unfermented wine OF juice Of the grape,
i made and preserved in this way and i
better and more healthful than wine
made in any other way.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
Col. lngersoil on Lawyers.

The lawyer i merely a sort Of intel
lectual strumpet- He is prepared to re
ceiye big fees. and make the best OF either
side of any case He Is sort Of burglar
in the realm OF mentality. 1t Is a fortu-
nate thing for the lawyer that, whenever
man Is created who has the peculiar
faculty for legal requirements and con-
troversy at the same time enough fools
spring into existence to give him a good
living. II is illustrated in the story of
the man who studied for the ministry and
occupied the pulpit for number OF years
without success, and then studied medi-
cine and practiced his profession for a
number of years without success, and
then studied Law and, entering upon his
practice, made fortune al it, He de-
clared ne had found men more willing to
pay for having their own way than to be
guaranteed their souls or TO keep their
bodies whole Ny ideal OF great Eng
hsh attorney who, having accumulated
fortune Of el,eo,ooo left ii in viii to
make home for idiots. declaring that
he wanted 10 give it back 10 the people
from whom he took IL
Your opinion seems 10 be more Sc
we're ON your clients than on yourself
said.
The Colonel laughed a. be said Il
never want 10 know much about my eli
ents- never want to know whether
they are guilty or not. ! do not even
care 10 know what they can prove What
| want to know Is what the other fellow
can prove When know that | am
ready for business"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
Milking in the Barn or Open Air.

IF there l. any more disag-eeable job
than milking at this season. have filled
to discover it, particularly if II Is done in
the pasture or harnyard called On
neighbor short tiule since, and found
him irving to milk in the pasture, about
an hour before sundoWn, ard both man
snd COW had lost patience, and there was
a regular circus performance going on /
asked him why he did not drive his COWS
TO the stable, and be said II vas too much
trouble The ideas some men have q
trouble seem very funny 10 me. II you
have a stable. make il a. dark a. yon can.
and shut it up during the day and pat the
COWS in II az night. and YOU viii find that
very few fies viii follow them II YOU
have no stable. build a shed in a shady.
cool spot, on purpose for milking. II vii
ray for a single summer. II l. not in the
nature Of a Cow % sand stil with sUarms
Of flies biting her. and II requires more
grace than the averaze deacon pos-esses
for man 10 keep cool under such cir
cumstances-- DgsryHsGa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
Why She Hated Him Real Bad.

| used to think that Gus Simpson was
real nice man-but Just hate him now. =
said one young lady 70 another.
Why. what has he done
Hes treated me shamefuily. That's
what
In what way7
Why. the other evening at the party
l said 10 him. Let's eat a philopoene and
if You say yes OF no to any Of nv ques-
tons III owe you box Of candy. and II
l say YES or no you'll give me box =
Then what
After the party he took me home and
ali the way there be talked Just as sweet
a. could b about love in a cottage and
men should not hive alone and all that
And when he got % the front gate he
said. Fannie. have waited for this op-
portunity a long time. viii you marry
me2' | WHISPERED yes IN low voiee-
and-and-7 Herr her sobs ehoked her
= And what did he do them injured
her listener. eagerly.
He-jus;-hcllered 'phiiopene,' with
ali his might. That's what he did and
she wept afresh and would not be com
fyrted
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

Everybody remembers the fable Of thu
frogs who were dissatisfied with a bog for
a king. and were supplied with a -tork.
VINO forthwith eat them up Substitute
the working man for the ffoss. the coal
and railroad corporations Tor the log. and
the Democratic party leaders for the
stork, and the fable i applicable to the
present. position of GOV Paftison and his
Attorney General Certain great mining
and transporting companies govern their
mOrket prices BY the actual business
needs Of the market This may not meet
the Utopian ideas 0f some people. and il
probably i not done altogether IN the
way II might b. But il J. bor-e-sense.
and based on principles which every IN
dividual man carries out IN bis 0xn busi-
nsss- Forthwith the Derno.rafic iesi.iers
ask the State authorities 20 regulate the
yro.iuction of coal and TX IL rates for
transportation What foiioNs2 One Of
twl things. Either the corporation peo-
PIE. hopeless Of contest, flood the mar
ket or they stop operations altogether In
the first csE=e the fsil IN prire earries with
II Reduction of the iaboring Mans
wages, and IN the second, an utter stop
page Of work This j. King Stork with a
vengeance Ancient practitioners uSs-f
TO bleed man % death to ave him from
disease, and the Governor and his Atr0r-
ney General appear 10 be enAmored of the
ancient custom
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
A Conundrum.

Whether a certain number Of individ-
asls calling themselves a eorporztionl
ear Be made by the Attorney General to
adopt unbasinesslike and ridiculous
methods Of conducting their affzirs with
out coming to bankruptcy and ruin ? If
his Exceliency insists that the pick shall
fly, and the coal sieve shall revolve.
whether there ! legitimate market for
the prC,iuciion OF not, his Exeellency i
taking ground 70 high for comnOn--ense
bushes men If be disrzris any idea Of
wanting 20 Ontrol them himself, perhaps
he viii be good enough to indicate where
tie grave Judgment can be found which
viii understand exactly what ought TO be
donee IF there j. ans conclusion whatev-
er to be drawn from his attacks, il would
seem 10 point to creating some authority
in the nature Of commission 10 hear and
remedy specific complaints against coal
operators and railroads.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

A farmer spends si4 per year for %
baoo. and his wife spends 81 per year
for shoes. How much more doc hershoes
'cs~-: than his tobacco?
Il Is twenty-eight feet from a certain
kitchen door TO woo.i-pile, and 2.SSs
from the same door 70 corner gr,oery.
How mErh longer viii II take man to
walk - the wsssd-piie than 10 the gro-
eery, estimating that be walks thHee
k--t PR seooni >
II It takes lsov twenty-five minutes -
cut three sticks of wool 10 eei supper BY.
how long wili II take him next morning
10 walk three miles in The e,,un;ry "a
meet = s-ircuS ccsl.lirg T. town.
A cook hires oui at s. per week. and
when SATURDAY comes she has broken
s4-so worth of dishes How much :
due her. and h0w on earth did the mis-
tres find cut that she had broken any-
thing2
A young lsdy Who i cut With her
beau drinks four glAsses Of se,ia water AZ
i've cents each two glasses Of lemonade
al five cents each eats three dishes Of
ice cream at ten cents each four PIECES
of cake valued at thirty cents. and throws
a hint for box Of candy worth flfy
cents. How much dos she cost him IN
allg
A tramp tackles a farmhouse, and q
dog tackles the tramp The tramp pAss-
e over thirty-txo rods Of ground per
minute. while the dog passes over forty
eight rods. How long viii the dog be in
oveFhaniing him
Four boys who are on a visit = their
aunt discovered cake Of maple sugar
weighing i've pounds and eleven ounces
What viii each boys share be if equally
divided?
If q Saddle-horse has caused the death
Of four different ladies who were advised
by their doctors 10 try the saddle for ex-
cruise, how many ladies could have been
deeently killed in half the time by
riding over rail fences in buck
boards?
John has an orange. and six boys hex
their chops and want him q divide. lie
eats il by himself, seed, rind and all
How many pieces would he have had 10
divide the orange into, in eaSe he had
been fat. TO give 10 each Of the boys
piece
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
c. y. ScTD
Jos. HORNE & CO.'S
RETAIL STORES
IEE Goods ARRIVING DAILY

Silks, Velvets, Pushes, Dress
Goods. We offer special val.
ues in Black Silks at 75c. SI.00
81 %, Sl.50. and upwards,
Drap de Panama. a new weave
also extra bargains in pure
Black Silk Surahs. at 65c, 75c,
and upward--in Colored Silks
a full assortment of colors in a
superb quality OF Satin Rhad-
ames at 81 90 ward: extra
good colored Gros Grain Silks
at low prices.
New Striped Velvets. in col
ors. at Sl.00 and Sl.25 yard
Plain Colored Velvets at S5c
and Sl.00 a yard-bargains.
Colored Pushes at SIPS and
Sl.50-extra quality. New
imported Dress Goods: Camel 5
Hair Cloths, French Cords,
Basket Cloths. Drap de Chew
otte. and a large assortment OF
Striped Suitings extra good
bargains in Plain Colored ALI
wool Suiting Cloths. from SOC
a yard and upwards. New ef-
fects in Combination Dress
Patterns in the iasionoble col
orings. Bargains in Table Lin
mems. Towels. Lace Curtains.
and Curtain Materials by the
yard
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
A Friend of the Workingman.

A Friend Of the WorkiBgulan.7 who
signs himself ~Diogenes," writes to know
whether the tiovernor and Attorney
General are sincere in their efforts 10
benefit the door man Icy attacking the
railroads No. Diogense. We doubt il. The
attack s.vors too much Of the old almanac
s1yle Of about this .electionj time look
out for squalls" In using your lantern al
this season Of the year Diogenes Won must
allow ninety per cent discount on your
strictly honest man for political exigen-
cies- Virtues which rise, sfasniodie-like
to the surface within sixty days Of an
election. should be examined with at
leas; a calcium light The Democratic
Fkr1y when in pursuit of game for politi-
cal hunting has none Of the virtues Of a
court Of equity If you Diogenes, were
20 associate with M4rs. Venus and Appl-
10 and form The Diogenes Company
llirnitedl the Democratic leaders would
Immediately declare. from the mere fact
Of your being corporation, that you
held your lantern 80 as 10 discriminate
agains, sonebcdy..ihat Mars had viola
ted the Constitution by looking for hon
est men when he ought TO be fighting
that Venus favored the long haul as
against the short haul, and that Apollo,
when he had you in his corporation,
needed no other Lyrer No, no, Mr.
Workman, mistrust the effort and remem-
Der how Hotspur describes q kingly poll
tician, who
- forspoFh. takes on him &c reform
Some certain e1icts and some straight DEGREES.
That lie too heavy on the Commonwealth
Cries oug upon abuses, ssws to weep
Over his eounf-y's wronxz. and. by this face
This se<ssiag show Of justice. IN 70 win
The hearts Of ali thai be can angie for
-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
A Significant Incident.

Gen Beaver. and Norman Hail. the
Democratic candidate for Congress in the
Mercer district. were brought face 10 face
al the great Republican demonstration al
Butler recently The two candidates
were introduced with the remark; I'VE
can trust this man on the Tariff question.
He i a Democrat, but be i an iron man
ufactlrer- Gen Beaver took Mr. Hall
BY the hand and asked with a smile.
'Will you bold up this night hand and
swear that if y0u are elected YOU vii not
vote for Free Trader for Speaker Mr..
Han responded in confusion that he
supposed he would vote for the Caucus
candidate Of his party ~Ah, then, am
afraid you are not 10 l. trusted a. well a.
a Republican, said Gen. Beaver
The incident gave Gen Beaver the text
for vigorous exposition Of the danger IN
the selection Of So-called Protection Dem
ocrats 70 Congress, which the General
used With telling effect in his speech that
evening in Butler
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
VOL. XXXV. NO. 10.
TOGETHER.

SlLFEE WEDs3Sss seH,s II 4 L DicKE<-B
In the time when oair sIsiriIs o1'uld t-srrUs
Their hshI frosn the ssox Of their ho,e;
Or When fhrUazh fi1e eloudian.: q sOr-ou.
In blindisess ne struggled 70 g-aE4-
In sunshine or chill. sso-zny weather.
In courage, in fziiering fears
We have ~0-rsge. and suffered Together
Through bies-ed and bs1niens.ssae vea-s.
-in,i- barring t0szstser or ero-ess,
y Nearissszoe pefhxzys q pain.
And sharing Together our loSses.
Have counted them better than gain
-iace los had 10 power 10 harm as.
While each - the Other aAs neaT.
And pleasure DO power 70 charm u.
That bEuaghI % the o,hef no cheer
Hand eissr--i by two long ago lovers.
Ioeether their soiiing have done:
We have tested il ,5vsr and orer
That two he.d- 4re better than one
Bur the ey'ry-isy lie. in is proving
What foar hansis 4nsi tao heads caa do.
shors al-o, By proof Of or loving.
Thas one n-Srt i better than tao
- lisle IL matters that lrEres
Of silver shine o1f sirpssgh the hair
And lifsie il marseFs thai faces
Take shadows q time or of care:
Nd little II natter il fortune
Shall pour out IT, gifts OF withhold;
While oar hearts are sin rieh in each o.ber
We are one. and we oanBof gro9 old
~. backward We Iook ~iIh M manau-
Al the therns in the path we have lrod
For the present sse each have the other.
The future j. hidden NiTh Cod
It. year may bring signing and s4iness.
The billoNs of trouble may roll
Yet nothing can rob u of zia.sness
While love : the life af the sui.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

my-heart-was with theu-nos IN my
work John YOU viii sometimes come
even TO my-my-g
Hush darling. hush be answered
closing the lovely mouth with kisses
Live, Nora-live for me-
Yet even as he spoke, with bright
radiant smile of happiness a. his lips
met hers, they grew cold beneath the
last embrace
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
Rheumatism

We doCbt Il there Is. or can be, specific
remedy for rheumatism; but thousands rh0
have suffered rs pains have been greatly en-
Fitted BY Hoods Sarsapzr1IlA Il yon have
failed to fz9 rcllef- Try this greet remedy.
Il ws A siod VIII rheumzfis,n twenty
years Previous 10 iss5 found no relief, but
grew worse, and AZ one tine was almost help
less Hcod's szrsaparill1 did me more good
than al the other medicine / ever had -
n I. Bspcox. Shirley Village. Mss.
had rheumatism three years. and GOT no
relief III took Hoods SarsapariIla- It has
done great things for me. Irccosnnend ii 10
others LEWIS BURBANK, Tlddefor1, Ne.
Hoods S4rSzpariIla is characterized BY
three FecCliaritlss Isl the combination of
remedial agents; 21. The proportion; ID. the
process q securing the active medicinal
qualities The result Is medicine Of unusual
strength, eneeting cures hitherto unknown
Send for book containing additional evidence
Hooc's SsrsapariIla tones up my system
pur1nes my blood shzTrels my appetite. and
seems 10 make me over J. p THOMPSON,
Register Of Deeds, Lowell, Mass
Hoods Sarszparilla heats al others. and
ss worth is weight in gold J. BARRIxGToS,
80 Bank Street New YORK CITY
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

Does anybody doubt General Beavers
ability to I'll the Gubernatorial chair
Does anybody doubt his integrity? Does
anybody d ,ubt his devotion to Republi-
can principles Does anybody doubt that
he VIII perform his executive duties with
fidelity If not, how can any Republican
refuse to give him his vote In November.
The Democrats assert that this soldier
business is played out. II does not look
thai way when you look over the list Of
rebel soldiers appointed by the present
administration. But then tiley fought
ON the Democratic side and hence their
reward by their party. They cannot
draw pensions but they can I'll Offices.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

A Republican who dos not % 20 the
election casts silent vote against Gen
Beaver and the ticket, and to that extent
aids the Democratic party.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

The claims of the Anarchists that their
aim was to elevate their fellow-men, is
all right What we object TO is the stuff
they wanted to elevate them with.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

What Il wanted in this country, said
the bride, a. she examined the wedding
presents, Is not civil service reform, but
silver service reform This st u plated
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
GEORGE AUmAN,
AN OPEN LETTER.
LIsIoSHJRs. Pa
NAY -. is~6.

LIsToSHrRG. Pa
NAY -. is-sS
MR & y BnYD. >0xEESET- Pa
FieEr lsU i'm feSiifviIie 10 the merits II
your Mandrake Liver Pils. words Sail me IN
expressing my JUS appreciation II their god
and curative pn,F-rTie>, q well the I'M
sf-=skalsle benefits have rtSefVei from their
use For sszs-iy and effective cnre fssr liver
,siSsA-e. they are unriy4iezi- 4 a bio.d T.a-
rifier they su1Ass al known remedies II
may frz1lfuily b. said that ilseir action afoEi
the liver ! universal not gland OF tissue
caring their sauative influence heartily
recommend your Mandrake Liver Pills to any
one suffering from liver complaint
Iours.
G. l. DELAUTER-
The above testimonial came unsolicited and
l. all fise rnors. assprs-.iatess These pills ar
arnassg the lySz made Tiaey sn not . patent
remedy, a. the formulas i sn cFerz bottle Try
them You viii fssld just What you want
Call af r,sv store where YOU wiil see the fines
sss,ek Of Drtlz.s IN the county. Goods the be~'
and prices Lowest
Respectfully,
c. N. BOYD.
Namrsaoth Block SoNEksEr. Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

Before the Democrats iszue any more
paper prUIni--s. they should honor their
paper 4irear'T gone 70 protest
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

since the earthquake NE are tegin-
ming 70 suspect that the SoCth Is not as
solid a. represented
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

The question Of the hour Is alsays one
q great moment
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

Give General Beaver the same hearty
support IN peaee that he gave you in
war
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

EuEBlPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
leie7- Lis -e-yires ro the people u >lmerset
s FlI1i.y. Gals In town and country FiruInIsi-
aur-1ei ie Can b. found a. ofice day or
1-t --less r-uif>>iulally engaged p11ce Cd
-1-lr e1-ue- u Diamond over kuepI-er ;
So
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
DREW BIoUGH.

Isie-s ts E.-1flssio-inl services % The citizens
-ue--zI and viciEiry. ufice IN Pcs o-tce
ErE
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
~ Hs KISINiELL

La-a- Pc T.r1fl-.l0slal services - the cliiEsl'
.r --ar~a- zr5 rieiuity. Tnlsss professionally
s--e-l ar car D. found a. his o-iice on Main -
El,- a E1Ell1il
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

Give your ballots to him who faced the
enemy's bullets.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
ntNNI> MEYERS.
aLluaNEl-AI-LlM

--1.-. "a us-s lrIs1l q7gl,=s and nle.iry. p1ioe
--l..-. C-.-. -Irsti ueKi dS1r o. J. 3. snyder a
..-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
ug. Il. kUVNTZ,
W aTIuENEl-AT-iAW.

o. -..a- -.-1er-cl AID s-lJcau1n., c,sunI-s,.
'a I-llE Halsl t1oE. apposiie the cuurl
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20
~ J. X. MILLER

1-- --llzueu-ly ldcaissi in Berlin fo- the prac-
s prziessiuu- once opTs0site ChSries
Arssi-er-'s sore
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-10-20

II EAEl-
If. AIToRNEl ALLAN,
-slsneTsef. Pa,
ID -lgler-sI GDd allOlnlGg c11n-
t-r.-- entrusted a hin Wil receiFe
.-11. --ll--al-