Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-17
SAM JONI 5, APHoRIsNrs.
some Old. Some New, but All Very
Pointed.
ZION IA saltin.ore Aneriean.

the evangelists have been in the form OF
aphorisms. Short and pithy, they ex-
pressed just what the preacher intended,
and so clearly that no one could fail to
understand their meaning. Among those
used during the week were the follow
ing;
''You pack your preachers in an ice.
house ana abuse them all the year be-
cause they don't sweat.n
''Many OF us are too decent to be re-
ligious.n
"My prayer is for a copy Of the heart of
God.'' f1
81 never call names, but every fellow
knows his number when talk"
Il am a Methodist till hnd something
with more get-up-and-get aboutiJ."
II never became satisfied id Georgia till
we put legs on all the barrels and demI-
johns in Atlanta and moved them away
rom our boys"
81 had rather De man in the truest
sense OF the word than The best angel in
heaven"
ssrhe church is the last place in VIII Oh
TO be solemn provided YOU have lived
right" A1
IF Ihave lived right, I'll wear a smil e
as broad as heaven; but il I've been
swindling and doing wrong, I'll have one
rs broad as agraveyard."
Christ was full OF sympathy for the
unfortunate sinners, but He gave the
amen corners brInges."
81 want TO be a good man aud good hus-
band, but God keep me from beng nice
preacher" ont
III | am revivalist I've grown to be
one just as the fngernails have grown on
my tingers." -.l.. fun
- God never made two men alike but one
was Oh no account
"I'd rather be a man than a dignifed
preacher"
va rather die on well-fought field of
battle than run away andspeculate on the
spells OF the war"
"a cross is Gods will one way and
yours another"
''S1me men want God to quit lying
and drinking for them. That's your
job"
''Some men give the devil the daddy
hood OF this world, but l belieyeif trust
in God He will bring 1t topass."
''SOme people think they can't be piOus
unless they are eVerlastIngly on The beg"
81 pray Tor my daily bread, but nave to
hunt Tor my cOrn-p0ne with the sweat run
nlng down the hoe handle"
Dignity is nothing but the starch of a
shroud"
{ s'Some of these meleesh soldiers sing,
Surely, the captain may depend on me-
but corpOral's guard from the devll
would run of whole regiment OF them"
LIVERY society woman VINO claims to be
Christian has got to get out OF society
some time in her life, or 20 10 hell"
'Pd rather daughter of nine get a
snake bite than a society bite"
''Snciety is a heartless old wretch, sap
ping the spiritual life from thousands OF
people,"
"When man is Dragging that his
father is colonel you may put 1t down
that his father Is ashamed OF him."
MANY a man will lie down in hell and
say: MY tongue damned me-"
"You NAV baptze a man all over, but
his tongue will come out dry as powder"
"SOme of us would get up muss in
heaven by talking about our neighbOrs."
81 am not singing the sweet Bye-and-
Bye,' but the sweet Now-and-NOw.'"
"Please recognize me down here. When
| am IN glory4 with a PAIN in my hand, #
you don't want to recognize me you
needn't do itna ~
Il pray God to give me heaven to go
to heaven in.Df
"I'll put up with less in heaven il can
get more down here"
every true man is an eternal million
aire.v
"The greatest gift of God is a game
preacher"
~"It horse is sound from head to foot
he don't mind the currycomb. but If
there are unsound spots on him when you
come into the stable to curry him he
kicks"
''S0me preach there is no nell, but, old
fellow. yOu won't be in hell ten MIN
uLes before you will wake up and say /:
My God, what a mistake nave made.'"
"Hell is sin intensified, and sin is hell in
all its aspects" t1
''rhe devil has no better servant than a
preacher who is laying feather beds for
fallen Christians to light on"
elf were an old sinner I'D have all the
fun | could while was here, for tell you
it will be too warm where you are going
to have much fun"
''The devil is too much Of a gentleman
to go where be is not invited"
Feeling is moral perspIration."
"Y0u can't take another mans money
to heaven with you. Shrouds have no
pockets"
81 believe that the whale swallowed
Jonah, and the only reason don't believe
Jonah swallowed the whale IL because the
Bible don'tsay So"
! "pd rather be bull pup than a town
bully.u ss.a.as
'Fdrather be dead lion than living
d0g.v sf
Ignorance IS round as ball and slick
as a button; it's got no handle to it and
you can't manage It," rs-Hlt
Z SThe-LoFd will have great big A b c
class IN heaven" k.c9l.G
!. no man can be Christian and drink
whisky" $500. t.,
Nobody but an Internal scoundrel will
sell whisky, and nobody but an Internal
fool will drink it,"
You 20 on singing your way to heaven,
and you'll be M istaken.;
"YOu get yourself tangled up with the
idea that Christ is going to be good Tor
YOU, and you'll get left on Judgment
Day.
righteousness is rightedness, straight
edness."
.rbe secret OF happy life is to do your
duty and trust in God"
Among the pithy sayings OF Mr.. Small,
who is also very happy in the faculty OF
COMPRISING important truths In terse
language, are: ..
you cannot run city on an unequal
partnership with God"
Where is no middle ground--no mug
wumpism---in religion .... Ts
g, 'GOd knows, YOU need little religion
In your polltlcs." r,.r.r..f
"Tbere are a great many Christians
who have a smatterinR OF religion, but
they have not acquired tue true accent Of
CbrIstianAllo" .f.rr 81 II
Mnuraffnfal