National Republican., 1886-12-07
The Social Augean Stables.

ersing the deep between the two continents
has become so foul from the scandal-laden
electricity that the old clock In the receiv-
ing room Of the New York Office covers its
face with It's hands day and night, and
moral nausea has become epidemic among
the operators.
Some English writers of the present day
have maintained that in the time OF poor
Dick Steele society was at such low moral
ebb that many Of its characteristics would
not be tolerated in London social circles
now. To be candid, we freely admit that
we would prefer to hear the tattler say to
the old cynic Dennis, "Your doughty
paunch stands before you like flrldn Of
butter, and your duck legs seem to be cast
for carrying burdens" than to hear
Lady Campbell, standing very near
to royalty itself, give the lie to
servant accompanied by an oath.
Standing in the shadow Of such vulgar
scene as this 1t is pleasant to recall the in
cident where the American dentist, after
laboring in vain to extract q lady's tooth,
fellcitously said: "The fact is, madame, it
is impossible for anything bad to come out
Of lady's mouth.n But what are lies and
even blasphemy compared to the far-reach.
ing and shocking iniquity which the Camp
bell scandal has noated into the ears 'of
mankind; truly 1t is enough to make the
| people Of England look at their arlstocracy
through smoked glass in order to deaden
the brillinncy Of their badness.
"You preside at my table and play the
social part, and outside OF this you may do
as you please and / will follow my own
sweet will, said an English lord once to
| lis English lady. Piuch was undoubtedly
| thinking Of this when II said "Don'p upon
| being asked its advice respecting the wis
| dem OF getting married, the idea being that
matrimony was simply an insane desire TO
pay some womans board. How strictly
this notion conforms to that of Sir Don
Juan above quoted, and how liametrlcally
opposite 1t is to the mind of Adam, who,
all through his earthly pilgrimage, insisted
that his wife was Eve. .angelical and how 1t
clashes with the American idea that q
| woman's heart, like the moon, should have
but one man in II, or that other belief, that
the best capital to begin life with is capl-
tal wife.
The English notion seems to be that
Adam lived In Paradise without SHINING
until he took wife, aud then virtue had o
right to end, and the English press do not
hesitate, under the influence OF current So
cial events, to announce that the married
bellies Of London give bad tone 10 society
ly the heartless and noisy manner In which
they ring out the old chestnut lovers and
rope in the new ones, and they charge this
evil TO the fact that among the upper ten
Cupid's arrows, like man with the ague,
"Gre all in quiver."
In this country blow from lady is al
ways welcome, II she strikes a man agreea-
bly,, although she may he as full OF airs as
music book, but in England the simple
dropping Of q small piece of ice between
the Prince Of Wales's collar and his bump
Of amGtiveness created coldness that froze
the Jersey Lily out Of court circles, not
withstanding the fact that even England's
greatest statesman found her so beautiful
that he often "raised his long, lean body
and stood before her like point Of admra-
tioB."
' This was not owing to virtuous lndlgna-
tion, but 1t was not in harmony with frigld
English etiquette, which does not permit
apy liberties before, the curtain, nor, as 1t
tNth, the society of London seems to be
the riddle Of all riddles, which even the
most searching cross-examination OF EN-
inent advocates fails to solve, and we feal
that a solution Of 1t In mud would pollutt
the mud.
This is certainly q sad condition Of things
but is the present generation responsible
Is not the queer social atmosphere Of Lon
don an heirloom which has been passed
down through the ages by the haud o.
royalty itself? Listen to Clio.
William the Conquerer died from drink
and violent passions; Edward i died of
"natural sickness which would puzzle al
the royal college Of physicians TO demon
strate; Edward II was indecently murdered
by his own mother aud her paramour; El
ward III died Of d9tage; Richard II o.
starvation, and George ~ OF gluttony
Henry V died Of fits caused by uneasincss
Henry VII wasted away as all miser
should; Henry VIII died of carbuncles
fat, and fury; Queen Mary died from eating
too much black pudding; Queen Bess diet
of melancholy some time after her private
character had expired; James died OF {
nameless vice; William III died from con
sumptiye habits of body; Queen Annt
died Of too much flrewater, and George
followed her unhappy example. George
died OF a rupture Of the heart, and 1t wa
the only instance IN which God ever touched
1t. George LII died as he had lived-a mad
man, and George lV died Of drunkenness ant
gluttony. Through all this line of vice ant
infamy one can trace the legacy which fes
tiers the social life of London. May tn,
good Queen Victoria live to see the walls O
the social Augean stables of her great capita
shattered by some modern Hercules, ant
the waters OF some Alpheios and Kladeo
drench them with their cleansing power.
IN the New York San of the 9th lnstan
Editor Dana, presumably with the sdvic,
and consent of his Office cat, circumstan
IN - "a.