Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-21
BRIGHT BITS.

IT is said that a "mule cannot bray If a
brick be tied to his tall" Yes, but what be-
comes of the man who engineers the brickp-
Burlington Free Press
SCHOOL TEACHER-Now. Master Kirby, sup
pose should say: Il didn't have no fun at
the picnic" how would you go to work to
correct me?
Master Kirby--I shd say you'd better study
grammer, teacher.-7id- Bits.
Mas. MULLIGAN-And so you have no
mother now?
Motherless boy-No. mum.
Mrs: Mu'ligan-Well, me boy, whenever you
feel the want of good licking come to me
and I'll be mother to you.-Boston Journal.
A BAD break-"Yes," said the chairman.
sadly. "our temperance meeting last night
would have been more successful if the lee
turer hadn't been absent minded"
what did he do?"
Tried to blow the foam from a glass of
water"
o, SPARROW. spare that pest;
Touch not a single worm;
1t is the city's guest,
And who would see it squirm2
o, give the sparrow meat
And for him kindly care,
The birdie will not eat
The caterpillulare.
Tbs Little Joker.
A RURAL TEACHER was examining a new
pupil in order to tell where to place him in
her classes. The fret question asked was:
Have you ever parsed any?"
The bow looked up with considerable sur
prise in his face and after some hesitation he
replied: ~ es'm. but don't think Irs er good
plan to parse il ye've got anything bigger'n a
jack in yer hand to dror tO."-Kerchdnt TrdU-
eIer.
my GRACIOUS. see that terrified man"
(which one ?''
THE fellow that's just turning the corner.
He's e.. as pale as ghost"
wonder what's the matter with him."
Hes an anarchist"
"W hat makes him run so ?"
"a boy has threatened to whip him "a r.
hdnSaaO Irdgeler.
THE GIRL OF FASHION,
The girl of fashion ne'er goes out
With Algernon alone.
Whenever they wish to stir about,
She calls chaperone.
Yet where this obstacle to bliss
Is utterly unknown,
lis more than likely that the Miss
Will call chap 'er own.
Merchant 7rGUeler,
A RUSSIAN editor of Moscow has been dec
GRATED by the Gar as q reward for educating
the people of Russia to ''clear conception of
the true foundation of the Russian political
constitution" 1.-The successfully accomplished
this task there is no doubt that he deserved
all the honor that the Gar could possibly
confer on him. The peculiarly OF the Rus
sian constitution is commonly believed to con-
sist in the fact that there isn't any BoSto1s
Post.
THERE is only one fault In the Pennsvl-
vania prohibition platform That omission Of
resolution declaring the position of the
party whether a man should be permitted,
under any circumstances. to tuck napkin
under his chin. as though he mistook the
dining room for barber shop. or expec ed to
be shaved while he ate his dinner. Still, as 1t
is settled about everything else. this natter
can be made an ISSUE at the next election
Brooklyn Eagle.
A FEW DAYS AGO two ladies. one of whom
carried baby. entered a Boston carpet store
pets. 1t was very warm day, but the sales
man cheerfully showed roll after roll, until
the preparation literally streamed from every
pore Of his body. Finally, one Of the ladies
asked the other II she did not think IL was
iIne to go. mot quite" was the answer OF
her companion, and then, In an undertOne
he adden, "baby likes to sec him roll them
out and it is not time to take the train yet
pdJDet Trade and ReDietc.
"WEY. look here. landlord" said a fussy
% Il gentleman. who had inst finished his Nrst
night at a pretty Long Island watering
D ace. II spent he night fEh ting mo- quitoes
shonld have been ucyoured by them had
not fought them ncessantly."
They are bad" said the landlord, ''least-
- =" > ey was bad to them as amt used to
Sui fhere was nothing In your fetter To
lead me to suppose you had mosquitoes here.
Bless me. sir. think you wrote me that you
hat no mosquitoes"
quite likely did. Sir" said the landlord
''Twould he true II said IL. We hain't got
No mosaHitnes. They've got us."-HarDe,,s
Bdsar.