The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-09-18
NUMBER 30.
Brother Gardner's Sermon.
Detroit Free Pl ess.

/ a
Gin a man credit if you want to
start him on the road to de poo house.
AS it am de roughness of de grind.
stun which sharpens de AK, so it am
de truohles of life which aige up de
human mind.
Gray hairs am entitled to respeck
only when the owners of gray heads
respeck derselves.
1t doan' do any good to light
candle arter you have been eatin'
wormy apples in de dark.
De pussen who judges OBJ de speed
of mule by his bray mustn't COM
plain if everybody passes him on de
road.
De pusson whom am nebber temp
ted deserves no partickier credit fur
obeyin de law.
De less advice you gin widout pay,
de mo- credit you will receiv fur bein
chuck full o. wisdom.
Men who expect to be treated list
as you treat dem will neither slander
nor abuse you.
Between readin' mans character
By his bumps or goin' on picnic wild
him, take de picnic.
What we calkerIate on doin' fur TO-
morrer won't pay de grocer fur 'taters
nor de butcher fur soup-bone.
nh ~,
fellow men can't be too keerful to
prevent de nayburs from oberhearin'
his family riots.
Doan' be too hard on human natur.
DE man who can sot down am tell
you exactly what dis kentry needs to
make it great an glorious may have
no ideah whar his next bar'l of flour
am comm from.
A religion which can't stand befo'
de sight Of circus pusceshun or de
sound ofa fiddle am not WORT luggin'
areun' de kentry.
People who expect man to kick
his own dog in case of a fight have
got big surprise laid up for 'em.
When you fiatter yourself dat de
majority of people doan' know de
difference between de roar of lion
an de bray of an ass you have struck
banana peel which will bring ye
down kerf1op.
Lots of men who would establish
an orphan asylum ifdey had de mon
ey will heat Il woodsawyer down 80
percent below de goin' price.
The Young Brides Diary.
Yesterday 1 bought little red re-
ceipt book of pleasing young man
who called at the door. His eyes
were so deep and dark, and his voice
so pleading, that l would haye pur-
chased the book if had to borrow
the money. The book is a very use
ful one, and it is bound in the same
color as my new dog.
1t tells how to make custards, blanc
manges and floating island. 1t also
tells you in the back part, how to
cure heaves, glanders and bolts. |
can hardly wait till George gets the
bolts, so that l can bring out my
little red volume and win him back
to life and Joy. 1t also gives other
information. Any one with this book
in the house can go to work and take
person right through "A long siege of
Group or yellow fever without doc
tor, and there's a whole lot of law In
it, so that George won't have to have
a lawyer or doctor, and we can save
a great deal that way. Why will
people fritter away their money on
doctors and lawyers when they can
get one of these books so cheap2
Yesterday our landlady gave me
slip of orleander, and have planted
it in cute little pitcherfn the win
dow. where it is slowly growing as L
write. 1t hardly seems possible that
some day it will be large tree with
little yellow knobs on it.
All we need now is a home and
some furniture, for 1 have already
secured the orleander.
l bought some rhubarb at the drug
store this morning, and Tomorrow 1
will make'a cOuLle of pies. George
is passionately fond of rhubarb pies.