Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-02
THE PLAGUE OF THE CATS.
Some Ingenious Machines and De
vices for Its Abatement.

burden by reason OF our cats, ana W.
shall ali be compelled to rise in reVoI
against cats, or abandon the island TO hin
and the cats. There are already sections
of the city in which the wretched inhabit
ants have impoverished themselves by
employment of their household goods as
projectiles to repress the enthusiasm OF
cats for nocturnal concerts; where nerv-
Gus maladies are rife, owing to many
nights OF sieepessness caused by cats
where high hopes of heaven have been
blighted by haDitually Interpretations
OF speech, induced by the evaporation
Icaused by cats. OF course, nobody ever
hits cat with anything fired at 1t in the
dark. The only effect of hurting boot
Jacks, statuettes, bottles, coal, and pro-
fanity at a cat calling for "M'rier" is tn
cause many more cats to appear, from all
directions. iuquiring "Wha's yer row! "
So the great want OF the age, il we may
not exterminate the cats, is the Invention
OF something that will modify or palliate
them. Inventive genus and science
have not been applied TO the difficulty al
together in vain.
Scat tOrpedoes" rank high among the
happy thoughts of men who have brought
great intellects to bear upon this subject.
Cat tOrpedoes are to ordinary Fourtn-of-
July torpedoes what howIJZers are to toy
pistols. They are nearly as big as a wal
nut, and are loaded with coarse gravel
and some peculiarly touchy and violent
soFt OF explosive substance. When one
Is dropped from an upper window upon
the stone tagging OF garden walk in the
immediate vicinity of a feline vocalist
there is an explosion that rattles all the
window pRnes in the uelghborhOod,
shower of small stones flies in all diTec-
tions, and the cat, splitting, snarling, with
every hair on end, her tail as thick as a
policeman's club, and her eyes sticking
away out in front OF her, goes in frantic
haste over the nearest fence, no matter
how high it is. That particular cat is
likely to remain in a demOrallZed, de-
pressed. and silent condition all the rest
OF the night. But there are multitudes of
cats, and to explode torpedo near each
one would employ the energies OF at least
half of the community and make such
racket that nobody could sleep any more
than il the cats were left to divert Them
selves in their usual fashion. Evidently
"cat tOrpedoes" do not fully meet the rel
quirsments or the occasion.
"Cat teasers" are a well-meant inven-
lion. but are only to a moderate extent
protective, They are strips OF tin, with
sharp points punched upon one side so
that they look like exaggerated nutmeg
grauers, and are intended to be nailed
along the tops OF fences so that the cats
cannot with comfort walk along them to
make calls or sit uron them TO sing. But
perfectly good results could not be at
tanned with the "teasers" otherwise than
by putting them on all the fences and all
the intervening spaces, yards, alleys,
sidewalks and streets. AS il Is, the cat
recognizes the teaser-tipped fence as a
passive enemy at sight, and simply goes
upon another not so protected. or else sits
IN the yard and expresses opinions loudly
on the subject. There is no moral lesson
in the teaser.
A better idea altogether is that origi-
mated by an amateur electrician, MIR.
W gilmore Morris, OF III West Twenty
first street, a son OF ex-Excise Commits
sloner John j. Morris. The neighborhoOd
In which he lives Is one of those most
Astounding In cats. Allowing three cats
to each household in several blocks
around, ii is estimated that THERE'S a con-
tingent remainder of several thousand
cats. without owners or homes, who dis
appear mysteriOusly in daytime, but
gather in the back yards and on the
Z arden fences and arbors and shade trees
IN that vicinity at night to interchange
their views on the current topics of the
ments, and indulge in free fights. Mr..
Morris fastened on the top of a fence a
board wide enough for the stringing upon
1t in parallel lines OF six wires connected
with strong galvsnIe battery IN his
room. The board was e tempting one for
cat prOmenades, but the wires were SO ar
ranged that IL was not possible tor cat
10 walk over them without touching two
at once and getting powerful electric
shock when the switch key turned ON the
current. The first two cats that had the
experience got it together, and went up in
the air with simultaneous howl of pain
and terror. They clawed the atmosphere
while flying, but when they landed In the
yard lay Tor few moments as if they
were paralyzed. Then they got up, shook
their paws as II trying them, and, with
anFlghted looks all around, stole quietly
from sight and bearing.
Next big tom cat was allowed to get
out on the middle of the board, where he
sat down on mis- Launches, looked up at
the moon, aud began mis- favorite aria. He
got the current solIdly and went up like
rocket several feet. giving vent to a blood
cuTdiing yell as be flew. No more was
heard from him that night.
Many more cats were tired of the fence
then and ON succeeding nights, until it is
believed that every Que about there knows
now II feels. 1t only startled them into
silence, without ipjurlng them,
and could not be called cruel at ali, but il
has evidently given rise to a belief among
them that that fence is haunted, and now
they VIII not 60 near It,. Even in day
time they look upon IL with manifest APP
prebeDsioH. Clearly, electricity, proper
ly applied, possesses all the good points of
the "tOTpedoes" and the "teasers,v and Is
at least Tree from the principal objection
to which the former is open. IL the cur
rent were only Of sufficient strength the
scheme would be simply beautiful. Per-
haps connecting the wires With those of
the arc-light system would give about the
desired result.
More exciting and spectacular have
been the antl-cat experiments OF a quar-
lie lie oil medical students In boarding
house on Twenty-seVenth street. They
devised an ingenious way OF fishing from
q third story window for cats, using rod
and reel, "sockdolager" spring hook.
oaited with raw meat or catnip, a.id a
subsequent club TO terminate the proceed.
ings in each individual case. But a re-
nnement OF scientific art, though highly
eXh ilarating, has stopped their
sportiYe service as public benefactors.
The sprlghtly fancy OF one them sug-
gested one night, wnen they had caught
big black tomcat, sparlng the brute's lie
but saturating his FUR with phosphoretted
Dii aud letting him 90. When Tom had
been properly prepared-wnich was not
effected without a good deal OF difficulty
and the aid Of a boOtleg-he WAS let out Of
The back basement door into the ward.
na a