Morning journal and courier., 1886-03-22
SMALL.

1 Said the small boy: 'tMa, make Bob be | have himself. Every time I hit him witt | the hammer he hollers."
 1 Boy to his father-''Papa, will you lend me that dollar Deacon Snowboun gave you
 I want to go to the skating rink" 'sNo
 my son, it's Lent"
 What is the difference between 8 1ady's
 morning dress and your pocketbooka We'll, one is cashmere wrapper and the other a
 mere cash wrapper.-Spicer.
 Sam Jones says the best men are ''those l who spend most of their time on their knees. J Most of us, then, are good only in the spring 1 and fall while putting down carpets.-Phila- delphia Call.
 The members of the senior class at Yale have been requested to write essay on the
 question now at issue between President Cleveland and the Senate. Until these es- says are completed nothing further will be done at hington.-Burlington Free Press.
 An old lady who died recently in London bequeathed to the doctor who had attended her for the last thirty five years huge box containing all the bottles of medicine he had ever sent her, unopened. The doctor can not understand, for the life of him, what caused her death.-Boston Transcript Things that one would have left unsaid:
 Tomlinson- Goodbye, Miss Eleanora-'' Miss Eleanora-"But you've already said good bye to me, MT. Tomlinson." Tomlin- son (who is always ready with some pretty speeche e"Have I, really? We'll, one can t do pleasant thing too often, you know!''
 "Well, thought Buffalo would be the last city in the country to develop prohibit ''So should l." assented Zebedee Smith "what has been done in the temperance line in Buffaloa" "Why, a man has sued his tailor for making pair of trousers tight" Pittsburg Chronicle.
 A young lady teacher in the High school at Tiffn, Ohio, accomplished the feat of whipping thirty five boys, ranging from g to 14 years, in thirty-fve minutes. Next day she wrote an essay entitled 'sWoman the Weaker Vessel" and that night sat up with young man six hours. Despite her many talents she can't vote.-Norristown Herald
 ''I say, mister,' said countryman in d Fulton market oyster stall," what do you git week fer poundin' them oysters openi' "Nine dollars, 'Hayseed, an half the pearls" FsIs that soa' said the interested countryman; "d'ye find many pearls3" "Find many pearlss' repeated the cheerful oysterman; ''you ought to see my girl on a Sunday af ternoon."
 One of Lovelands colored terrors being once more before Justice Tinkham the other day, his honor asked: Haven't you been in jail for stealing chickens beforea'' ttNo, san, no, 1uuo6Q l QalnC. FralS6 O0 LOrQ foah his infernit goodness and mussy, no body hain't cotched me yit. Hit seems as if was perfected by de higher powers. Fort Collins (Col.) Courier.
 An amusing story is now being told in London of the late Justice Maule's treat msnt on one occasion of those strong minded ladies who are fond of crowding into the law courts whenever any particularl sensa- tion or horrible case is on trial The coun- prosecution ah0nt t0 witness in detail on matters generally men toned in the press as ''un6t for publication ," when the judge asked the ''ladies," of whom there was large mum Der present, to be so kind to retire for short space of time. Thersupon ensued a general uprisal and rustling of dresses, lasting tor some minutes, after which it was seen that about e-half only of the female audience had left ''And now" said Justice Maule, "tsat the ladies have re- tired, usher, clear these women out of the court. ."-Liverpool Merctry.