Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1886-12-11
Bill Nye's Letter.

that you had just succeeded in run
ming your face for a new curriculum
is at hand and contents noted, rs the
Teller said when ! wrote 70 aim two
years ago and told him that his cussed
railroad had mashed old Brin. You
remember that just as you catered on
what You called your Junior year.
old Brin remained out all night, and
your mother and ME tAsk ear coffee
milkless in the morning.
Well, 1 went down to the pound t.
see if she had registered there. but
she hadn't been stopping there, the
night clerk said. He maintained. how
ever, that "number two-aughteight"-
as he called it-had came in half an
hour late with a cows head on the pi-
lot and brindle hair on the runnin'
gears of the tender.
So | went over to the station and
found Brin's head there, w%hereupon I
went down the track in search Of her,
though | feared it would be futile, "
you once said about administering a half
sole TO your summer Pantaloons.
Well, | was right about it, Henry. If
Id been in the futile business for wears
| couldn't have been more - than |
was on this occasion. The old COW
was dead and SO identified with the
right OF way, that her OWE mother
would not have known her.
spoke to the conductor about it and
he said it wasn't on his run and for me
to see the other conductor. Time |
found him he was on another road and
killed in a collision with \ lumber
train. Then 1 wrote to the general
traffic manager, using great care 10
spell all the words as near right as pos
sible, and he didn't reply at all. His
hired man wrote me, however, with a
printing press, that my letter had been
received and contents duly noted. In
reply would say that the general traffic
manager was then attending u tripar-
title reunion at Chicago, ut which meet
ing the subject of COWS would come up.
He said that there had been such com
petition between tho Milwaukee, the
Northwestern and the Rock Island in
the matter of prices paid for shattered
COWS, that farmers got to dragging
their debilitated stock on the track at
night and selling it to the roads. after
which they would retire from business
on their ill-gotten gains.
When the general traffic manage
got back went in To see him. He was
very pleasant with me, but said he had
nothing to do with the dead COW in
dustry. ''Go to the auditor or the gen.
eral solicitor" said he, ''they u the
morgue." But they were both away
attending a large eastern mass meet
ing of auditors and general solicitors.
where they were discussing the practi-
cability of a new garnishee-proof pay
car, that some party had patented, they
said.
SO | went home and wrote 70 the
auditor a nice, long, fueRt letter in re-
lation to the COW and her merits.
told him that it wasn't tho intrinsic
value Of the cox that | cared about.
Intrinsic value is n term that | found in
one of your letters and liked very much.
| wrote him that old BriR was an heir
loom and a noble brute. said among
other things that she had never been
a~ntagonistic TO railroads. She had
rather favored them; also shat her hab-
it's and tastes were simple and that she
had never aspired to rise above her sta
ton in life, and why she should rise
higher than the station when she was
injured l could not understand. / told
him what a good milkstcr she was, and
also that she came up every night az
regular as an emetic.
then wrote my name with a little
ornamental squirm to it, added a post
script in which | said You was now in
your junior year, and / thought tina.
about seventy-five dollars would be 3
fair quotation on such 4 COW as had
feeSly described, and said good bye to
him, hoping he would remit al q prior
date if possible.
| got a letter after awhile stating that
my favor of the 25th ult. or prox. or
something Of that nature. had been du-
ly received and contents noted. This
was no surprise to me. because that is
too often the sad fate of = letter. In
fact the same thing had happened to
the other one l had previously sent.
vas mad. and wrote TO the presi-
dent of the company stating in crisp
language that if his company would
pay more cash for COWS snd do less in
the noting and contents business. he
would be more apt to endear himself
to those who resided along ais line and
who had their horses scared TO death
twice a day by his arrogant and bellcr-
ing Bosom of destruction. IF you
will deal more in scads and less in
stenography and monkey business"
says /, in closing, ''yon will warm
yourself into the hearts Of the people.
Otherwise" | says, W viii arise in
our might and walk"
| then, in a humorsone way, marked
it dictated letter. and sent il away.
| got it back in the face by way OF
the dead letter Office where they know