The Press., 1886-01-14
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 LIES LIKE LIGHTNING.


 The boss liar is now upon the New York York World, and one of his productions, under the head of Hike an Evening in Sheol, is given below:
 William Hammer gave an electric sup per to few old classmates on New Years Eve. It was like an evening i'll sheol. MT. Hammer has been associated with Ed son, the great electrician, for such a long time, and has become so steeped in elic- tricity that fairly oozes out at his finger tips He carries lightning about in his pockets as clrelessly as boy would carry a toad. His pretty little home at No. 8 Rowland street is built upon Leyden jars and batteries and queer electrical inven- tions, aud everything about the place from opening the front gate to blacking shoes is done by electrity. You can't walk across the threshold without ringing bells or sounding burglar alarms, or lighting the gas, or doing some odd thing that you never dreamed of doing.
 Thursday evening Mir. Hammer had all the hidden wires abont his house connect ed 80 as to give his twenty guests lively time. As far as outward appearances went, the parlors and dining-room looked like any other we'll furnished apartments. But hidden beneath the carpets and in the walls and ceilings were strange systems of wires and buttons and signals that made the place like one of the enchanted castles we used to read about i'll fairy tale days. You enter the gate and the house ap- pears dark, but as your foot touches the lower stoop three electric lights blaze out and the number of the house appears in bright relief. The next step sets a bell to 1 iingling, and the third throws open the door and lights the gas in the hall by elec- tricity, transmitted by the pressure of the foot. Inside the hall there is au odd-loOk- ing foot-rest attached to the hat rack, and | by pressing Q button n pair of brushes come out and shine your shoes. Upstairs, wherc you remove your wraps, there Is 8 be lroom that would be worth worth for tune to lazy man. By touching your your head to the pillow the gas fifteen feet away is extinguished, and by pressing q knob at the foot of the bed it is lit again Outside the door a clock work attachment sounds drum at the proper waking time and if the occupant does not get up aftel fifteen minutes grace, the bed rises on itf 1 hind legs and dumps the deeper out ot ] the floor.
 1 In the pailors the guests who had come early stood about ill little groups. No
 
 fas and chairs were scattered through tht rooms. Every newcomer was cordially i greeted and chair pushed towards him If he sat dOwn-as he usually did-the chair either doubled up on him or started for the door with him, or disappeared ol completely exploded If he sat on sof, he Set banjo to playing on the opposite wall, and drum to beating or if he tool another seat the movement put out th' lights and introduced phosphorescent fig ures. No man knew when he was safe although there were few apparently sat seats. Iu one of these Humorist Browl was telling a very funny story. He haC left electricity far behind, and just as h. reached the climax a pretty funnel-shapec Japanese affair, like big dunce cap, tha Ornamented the ceiling overhead, dropped quietly down and covered him up, silentl, extinguishing the story and the story ] teller.
 Somebody proposed music, and half o a selection went nicely on the piano. Blu just as everyone became interested some thing seemed to give away, and instead O strings the keys beat upon horrible jan gle of gongs and drums and bells, ant every kind of noise producing implement But the worst came in the dining room hUOuG Il o ClOCh bHS tWcuEy SucSlS Sd down to table loaded with the usual deli cacies. At the head a figure of Jupite presided. At a signal the great god be gan to talk (phonographically) and made welcome address. He wore electric light 1 for shirt studs, bibulous red light for nose, and his green eyes had the snap o lightning ill them, while blue bolts bIazet from his pocket.
 The table seemed bewitched Touch knife or fork and it put out the lights anC introduced queer sights. Put your spool into dish of cream and it flared up il great columns of green or red flames man. feet high, like fountain of fire. Reacl for an innocent looking sandwich and rang bell inside, where the meat ough to be. Try to pick mp an orange and drum beat inside. Help yourself to pud ding, and the dish and all elid silently int the great unknown. Ask for Malag grapes and find that an electric light flash ed from each side as you pulled the stem Pour glass of lemonade and it was ill candescent and full of fire as it touches