davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Getting. Ahead Of the Students.

Two young colored women were sitting
on the cellar door, that opens into the
dirty, dingy apartments Of Sam Stevens
and Molly johnson, WHO acquired con-
siderable notoriety from their connection
with S I'm Johnson, the murderer OF old
John Sharpless, the other evening, and
their conversation turned ON the stood
ents," to whom they have holy horror. A
heavy, thick-set negro turned into Lyle
street from cambridge. and came down to-
ward the women, planting his heels into
bricks at every step.
Oats de way allus walk Wen I'm on DIS
street, Lie. De stoodents can't ketch 20
ef you walk heavy
go way with yo', chile" said the one adj
dressed as Lie" ''how's walkin' heavy
goin' to stop de stoodents from ketchin' 20
eff dey want tor
why, honey, don't you know? Ho, I
learned dat good while back. Why, wen
yo' walk heavy people in de houses can
bar yo', an eff dc stoodents wuz to cum up
an take yo' deyd miss 20 walkin'. wouldn't
dey? Well, if yo' walks light an easy no.
body h'ars yo, an de stoodents could walk
right away wild yo' an nobody nd miss
yo'."
Lie" succumed to the superior
wisdom OF her companion. Philadelphia
Nnrfh m risuu
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
An Earthquake Indicator.

Justine Gleason has invented selsmo-
graph. This instrument, which, in COM
mon, everyday English, is an earthquake
shock indicator, is of very easy construc-
ton. A glass jar half full of water is the
basis of manufacture. Then carefully
pour upon the water mixture of oil and
lampblack, or any other coloring material.
The slightest disturbance of the equilli-
brium of the stratum of the colored oil
sends it up on the sides of the jar, and il
records the height to which it has been
raised. If there be shock during ones
sleeping hours. the festive selsmograph
tells the tale in the morning. 1t is an un-
erring indicator, and may be used as a
swift witness against the earthquake chest
nuts that bloom in the autumn. Charles
ton Neus and Courier.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
The Old Camel Story.

Il is quite number OF years since
this old camel story trotted along the
sands OF time. This is how il hap
pened:
Abou Ben Eli McGuflin, being full
of years, died, leaving to his three sons
his seventeen camels, for the simple
reason that he could not take them
along with him. The will, duly at
tested, said the eldest was to have one
half, the second son one-third, and tie
youngest one-ninth of the seventeen
camels. The boys were little per-
picked at this, as it seemed to involve
the cutting up of camel, and camels
we're worth $3 day on the Sahara that
season. But the boys, If not first-class
mathematicians, have level heads, and
did not 60 to law to prove the old man
insane, but went instead to the good
old Cadi Hassan O'Donohue, who had
taken medal at mathematics at the
Ann Arbor University.
"Boys," said the good Cadi reproach-
fully, "you should not bother me with
these little matters. Ask me harder
one."
Bnt seeing that they were troubled,
the old man asked the hostler to trot
ont his own dilapidated old camel,
which had seen it's best travelling with
Barnum. Placing the aged brute with
the seventeen camels the boys had
brought along, he said:
"There are eighteen camels. l shall
now give You half the eighteen, which
is nine. How does that strike yon?"
1T hits where / live," said the eld-
est, who was slangy, but withal pleased
at getting half of eighteen rather than
half of seventeen.
"The next boy shall have one-third of
eighteen, which is six. Are you there,
Moriarity?"
"You bet, says the boy.
"The next will have one-ninth of
eighteen, which is two," and SO the
third collared his two camels. Thus
two and six and nine made seventeen,
and still was the good Cadi's aged ami
NAL left unscathed. The people mar
veled, as the Cadi had given each more
than the will called for, which is rather
unusual in courts of law And they
said one to another, "That's what it is
to be good at figures.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Missionary Life In Burmah.

My brother has hired four Kolah men to
watch the place nights sleeping and cook
ing on the compound daytime), and Mr..
Rose gave two Of them spears. Mrs. D..
and have our revolvers, and We keep them
close by, you may be sure. Mine is under
my head ready loaded at night, and we lay
out our gowns, etc., when We retire, ready
for q fight. This morning. when we went
to Sunday school, left my revolver for
Miss Stark-such pity she has none--and
my brother took his with him! 1t was
funny to have the Superintendent give out,
"Come, We sinners, and reflect that he had
loaded revolver in his pocket ready for
them. If We couldn't find something to
laugh at I don't know what would become
of us; the constant feeling of danger threat
ened, of uncertainty as to the future, takes
the heart out of everything, and combined
with the heat-100 to 104-makes SYSTEM
ATTIC work almost impossible. Helping
Hand
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
He Tackled q Goat.

you're stranger here?a said Justice
Murray to long, dark-skinned man with
black moustache and goatee, who was ar
raigned before him.
"Yessur," replied the laconic prisoner.
whats your name?"
Bill Smith; what's yourn?'
The brow Of the Court became CORFU
gated.
What do you mean by getting down on
all fours and trying to pick row with a
goat on the rocks Of Shantytown?"
4Wha-a t?" asked Bill.
do you think that's fun?" queried His
Honor.
"The goat must a'been full, b'gosh, said
Bill.
How do you make that out?"
Because eff he want, he'd never risk
his life in that way" said Bill, with a
chuckle.
you're fined &c." said the Court.
Here's yer money, but, gosh, what a
fool that goat made Of hisself," said Bill,
as he loped out, and the spectators roared.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Lasting Moral Lessons.

A benevolent young lady who had for a
long time sought to convey some lasting
moral lessons 20 young boys at the North
End who had been gathered into her class,
while conversing with one of the young
sters recently referred to the death Of his
brother, when he spoke up in tone ex-
pressi,e of pride and qualification. 20,
that amt all the dead got; had mother
brother die awhile ago." Another lad in
the same class while listening to his teach
ers moral essay one day, with his eyes in
tently fastened on her face, interrupted her
with: Say, teacher. you hain't moved
your upper jaw since you bin talkin' =
Boston Journal
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
The Court Had Lost.

During session Of court IN an Arkan-
saw town the Judge one day became so
irritable that no one could, with safety,
say anything to him. A man who had
been arrested for some triffiing offense
was stormed at by the Judge until a
prominent lawyer, moved by compass
sion, arose and said
"Your honor, this man is not my
client but / desire to say word for
him. His crime is venial and does not
deserve such censurc
"Sit down. sir" exclaimed the Judge.
" You don't know what cause this court
has for its conduct
"But, your honor, there is no excuse
for such slamming as you are giving
this fellow"
Don't you dispute the court. Luck
has been against this court for tile past
few nights and this court has lost its
scalp. This court thought that it knew
al about poker bnt this court has been
most shamefuliy done up. II YOU can't
8put up with the voice Of this court, why
this court tells you to get out Then,
turning upon the unfortunate criminal
the Judge few into violent passion
x4rkaftscsc 1rareIes.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Wonsn VIE Are Shsddy.

In this world there are lots OF nice
women. met . charming one the
other day, but there are also any num-
Dor OF female cads women who, gain
ing their fortunes from patent med
icines or the brewing of popular beer,
do all they can to forget that the pos
session of q grandfather is rather good
To- m nowadays. Women who wear Lace
gowns to luncheon (made very decol-
letel and 60 out boating in 20 end Of
frilis; women, in short, who are pre-
tenders. They announce with ANNA
ton .l'.t they dote OF AVN tennis. their
chief ability in that line lying in their
pictures being taken with racket in
their hand; they produce with much
eclat their banjos, and instead of the
old-time melodies feebly pick at them
and then have another photograph
taken; women who are outrageously
rude, because with all their pretense
they have never yet reached even q
semblance of being well bred. These
women flock to watering places, some
body sees them, and they are cited
as typical American women. Horrid,
isn't it?
All this sounds as if / thought that
no good thing could come cut of the
seaside Nazareth, but this is very far
from being true. There are, OF course,
gentlewomen, but they are not the wo-
men whose presence is announced by
shrill laughter. who are so mice, and
free and easy about being introduced
to fellow" nor are they the ones who,
collecting o group of chairs by putting
fan on one, an umbrella on the other,
will manage to reserve them until "a
gentleman friend of mine comes along"
yet do not care to risk the refusal that
would certainly follow the request.
But. Dorothy, I risked it the other
night The heiress for some specific
for all ills was holding greater num-
Der of chairs than even her patent
rights allowed her; everybody else in
our party had gone down to the Bah,
but | was headachy and so stayed at
home to listen to the music and get
some pleasure in sitting still. The
patent-applied-tor young woman coldly
glared at me, but, with a feeling of
right on my side, faced the glare and
asked, Excuse me. may / trouble you
for this chair 2" She said, at is en-
gagged. With my hand on the back Of
it, | answered as calmly as my South
ern blood would permit, I'm that case,
l viii occupy it until the people come"
When the Bab's crew appeared on the
scene l told them how fortunate had
been in having the chair for SO long, as
the young persons friend had not APP
peared. ! think she was paid back for
some Of her rudeness to other people.
If l had grown conversational I'M
doubtedly l should have been snubbed,
but the positive ignoring of the cure for
all aches was worse than anything else.
--NeD York letter.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Mistakes in Language.

Between" and among" are freauent.
ly used for each other. Between"
should be used only whenthere are two
persons or things mentioned. Among"
always presupposes more than two.
Have nothing to do with such words
as @doctress, editress, authoress," etc.
Sex is not in question. A person who
practices medicine is doctor" one
who edits, an editor" one who writes,
an author"
Further" is the correct word and
not farther"
Do not use "a couple" for two.
Couple" implies intimate connection.
Few people pronounce Alright the
words Horizon, isolated, and hearth"
(harth).
II had rather do so" is Incorrect
though sometimes used by eminent
writer's. II would rather" etc, is the
correct form.
Loan is noun. It is also used as a
verb. But "lend" is the better verb.
The word mutual" must not be used
when there is third object. "Our
mutual love" "our mutual hatred" is
correct. "Our mutual friend" is mis-
take in the use of language when used
in the case of more than two people.
A great deal is said about the use of
will" and SHALL" "Will" includes
inclination; "shall" expresses simple
futurity. For instance, a man falls in
the river. IT he cries out, Il will drown
no one shall save me, we think him a
suicide. But if he says, Il shall drown
no one will save me-" then his falling
into the water is but an accident.
Never pronounce "calm" as if it
rhymed VITA sam" Give the "a" the
ong sound, as in father.
Girls should never be used as O
substitute for servants" In England
maid" is used, but girl" never.
Some married people frequently use
no other words in speaking of each
other than she" and "she." They will
inform You in conversation that she
does SO and SO, "she says SO and SO, I"
without giving any clew to whom she"
or "she" refers. It may be very
proper feeling on the part of husband
or wife that the world contains no other
"he" or "she," but it is confusing to
the listener who does not share the
sentiment.
Remember that words ending ~"
preceded by vowl make their plural
by adding an g." Thus we have
moneys, monkeys, attorneys" and
SO on.
Do not begin inquire, indorse, in
snare, Undue, infold, intrust, insure,
inwrap,r with an "e."
On two signs in New York City are
read. Fancy Dying" and "Hair Dy-
ing Hair Dyeing" we might under
stand, but let MS hope that we are all
too serious and quiet-minded to do
anything SO extraordinary as @Fancy
Dying. - Good Cheer.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

the race-horse, OF as the man who
swings by one leg on the trapAse, or
another man who wins applause By
forcible spnrts Of display.
If he is witty his jokes become thin.
II he is descriptive his landscapes lose
their fine coloring. II he is dramatic
he becomes stereotyped and he makes
q dismantled wreck on the shores OF
time. II, however, he has learned to
be q good listener as we'll, he will not
SO soon be discovered.
There is but one rule governing both
talk and takers, and that is to be GER
tain that what We say will be accept
able. We should never speak unless
we have something to say.--Anaie E.
Myers, in Chicago Letlger.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

FERRoID Is the name OF . new ma
terial for pipe joints that has made q
somewhat remarkable record. Joints
made with it have resisted water
pressure Of from so to 200 pounds per
square inch, and . steam pressure Of
rs pounds. 1t has = tensile strength
Of from $50 to | 200 pounds, requiring
force Of 1000 pounds to crush It.
It is easily melted and easily handled,
flowing in the molten state like water.
Its specific gravity u 81, bang one
third as heavy - iron, and il success
fully resists the attacks Of mir, water,
and earth.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Talk and Takers,

Conversation is the outside orna-
mentation on the temple of intellect,
The good talker furnishes the graceful
scrolls, the bas relieves, the airy nom
descripts that call forth the admiration
of the ordinary passers-by.
Graceful chat you may call trihinC.
but it is very agreeable and very handy
to have around. Society is nothing
without it. And what would we be
without society?
To some people the art Of converse
ton is an unknown land. 1t is a mvs-
terry to them how it is begun and main
tanned, which goes to show they are
very selfish individuals. III you take
the trouble to think Of other people.
their work in life, their hopes. their
sorrows, You will always have something
to say to them.
There are numberless cyclists in the
world, who are only happy when talk
ing about themselves, but there is vet a
greater number who are morbidly afraid
OF making themselves bores in that way.
A friendly inquiry or suggestion Of
interest will set the ball rolling, how
ever. It is sympathy that makes fine
conversationalists. johnson was one OF
the finest, bnt he had his Boswell.
ABozzy' knew perfectly well how to
drop line into the deep well OF the
ponderous Doctors treasury, thereby
causing the "bear" to furnish mex
haustible supplies of enjoyment to the
whole room full of company.
All classes of men aud women know
RrV1, al hipn n 70 a ,Nr<,6 Df ,xo,,.
i you draw from an apparently sandy
soil rich fruit. And do not be dis
oouraged at o first failure. II your
newly-made acquaintance has been
spoken Of % fine musician, and YOU
lsk which they prefer, Beethoven or
Mozart, and they reply they know
nothing Of either, don't give up the
ship; they may admire the "Mikado, !"
or be devoted alone to the study of 'sthe
music Of the future"
Or If in despair You remark to q
casual acquaintance that it is very
changeable weather we are having, and
she replies she "Don't mind the change
ableness, so it always stays cold. it
may be only brief attack of aberra-
ton. She may recover by the time you
are able 70 put another.
Again, don't think that . woman who
chats gracefully about TRIES can do
nothing else Under those light sallies
you may often discern qualities Of pen
etrating sagacity and observation, such
- may be looked for yainly in persons
Of more solemn pretensions.
a ready tongue, possessed Of genial
Wit, is indeed great treasure, its
manipulation, il Imay use the term, is
: general fayorite. His words are
watched and his sayings repeated. He
lghtens care, diffuses cheerfulness.
qpiekeps the thoughts Of others, aEs:
multiplies harmless enjoyment
There .. however, one thing sod
about him. The tine talker rims but q
bfiet caxeeE. AZ y = short-liyed IS
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
A New Wonder

Is not often recorded, but those who write to
Hallett 4 Co., Portland, Maine, will learn Of
genuine one. You can earn from IS to 425
and upwards day. You can do the work and
live at home. wherever you are located. Full
particulars VIA be sent you free. Some have
earned over $50 in day. Capital not needed
You are started in business free. Both sexes
All ages. Immense profits sure for those who
start at once Your first act should be to write
for particulars
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

BEING entirely vegetable, no particular care
is required while using DR. Pierce's Pleasant
Purgative Pellets" They operate without
disturbance to the constitution, diet, or occu-
patton. For sick headache, constipation, i'm
pure blood, dizziness, sour eructations from
the stomach, bad taste in mouth, bilious at
tacks, pain in region of kidneys, internal fever,
bloated feeling about stomach, rush of blood
to head, take Dr. Plerce's Pellets" By drug
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
An Ant Illustration.

She was sitting in low rocking chat,
and he swinging idly in hammock. He
had on her sun hat with the ribbons tied
under his chin, and every intelligent stray
dog that went by would bark at him. They
were talking about dancing.
I am passionately fond of the valse, hi
said.
DO you reverse?" she asked.
oh. my, yes" he replied. Then h,
leaned little too far back and she knew
that he told the truth--New York Sun.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Sly Girl.

Charley, what is a chestnut bell?" said
his girl
"Oh! it's bell that rings when any one
tells an old story"
We'll, they couldn't call me a chestnut
belle; have no ring"
1t succeeded, and they are to be married
when Charles has his salary raised.-Nep
York Sun
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
An Evidence OF Affection,

you don't love me as fondly as yon did
before we We're married." said the husband
of few years
Eyes, do" replied his wife.
well, you don't sSow it as much as you
used to, remarked he.
Il don't know how / could show my
affection more than do and still be fash
ionable," replied she.
Just mention one little act"
Didn't give my new poodle your name
for his middle name. What more can you
ask? l suppose you think ought to
have given him your full name.--St. Paul
GLN6e
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Determined to sIGit."

(Hayseed and Higgins, from Wayback,
visit the city and go to the theater.)
Hayseed--"Waal, meow, Huggins, just
listen wot this reads: "A lapse of three
months between acts /. and ii.
Higgins (disgustedly) Wall, I'll be
blamed if I'll stay in this here town for
three months, an pay - day at the hotel,
Jest to see this thing out; we won't. Let's
git. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

Notwithstanding the great number who
yearly succumb 70 this teri. bic and fatal dis
ease, which is daily winding ita fatal coils
around thousands who are unconscious Of its
deadly presence, DR. Pieroe's Golden Medical
Discovery" will cleanse and purify the blood
of scrofulous impurities, and cure tubercular
consumption (which is only scrofulous disease
of the fungs). 8 nd ten cents in stamps and
get DR.. Piercss complete treatise on consump-
ton and kindred affections, with numerous
testimonials of cures Address, Worlds Dis
penaary Medical Association Buffalo NJ Y
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
"a Perfect Flood 0f Sunshin ~,

Viii fill the heart Of every suffering woman
if she will only persist in the use of DR..
pierces "Favori,e Prescription 1t will cure
the most excruciating periodical pains, and re-
lieve you of all Irregularities and give healthy
nation and liberation, displacement and ali
kindred disorders Price reduced to one dol
lar BY druggists,
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

When you visit Or leave New York Uty, savs
baggage, expressage, and - carriage hire, and
stop q the Grand SJnien Hotel. opposite
Grand Central Depot
6l3 rooms, fitted up ct cost Of ono million
dollars, d and upwards per day. European
plan. Elevator. Restaurant supplied with the
best Horse cars, stages, aud elevated rail-
road TO al depcts Families can live better for
less money 1t the Grand Union Hotel than d
any other first-class hotsl in the citv
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

CONGRESSMAN FELTON, of Colorado,
went to that state when nineteen years old,
without cent, and Is now worth SIC, O0O,-
400
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Glad She Was Rack.

How are things up to youy house?" was
asked Of man who had just returned from
the seashore.
"Ob, we are getting on finely"
Glad to bave vow wife back?"
"Yes, indeed. T&ngs have resumed
their norma! condition again. tell you
there's nottlSng that will make man APP
preciate his hsane more than to find his
collar button in the angel cake. It'd
Rifa
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20

Mr.. A. Fueger, COG Walnut street, st.
Louis, Mo-, suffered for two years with
lumbago, and was confined to his bed for
several months. He was entirely cured by
the use of St. Jacobs Oil, which he says is
also the best cure for sprains and all other
pains.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-10-20
Woman Nature.


Mrs. Bluke visits Mrs. James, taking
her little boy with her. The boy COM
mits all kinds of depredations, and
after he is taken away, Mrs. James
says:
"Gracious, don't wish that boy was
mine Just for a few minutes! How 7
would blister him. 1t is strange to me
how mother can be so blind
A few days later, Mrs. James calls on
Mrs. Bluke, accompanied by her little
son, who puts his feet ON the plush
bottomed chairs, and who gives his
mother world Of annoyance. When
Mrs. James is gone, Mrs. Bluke says:
My stars alive, how do wish that
boy was mine for few minutes. If
wouldn't blister him. 1t was all 1 could
do to keep my hands off him. 1t is a
mystery to me how o mother can he so
short sighted. Stephen" addressing
her own boy, put on your shoe and
don't throw it around that wsy, You'll
break something. Stephen, didn't l
speak to you. There, yon naughty
boy, yon have broken vase. Go out
of here, this minute. Stephen, Stephe,s,
didn't / speak to you! There, you
good.for-nothing thing, YOU have
cracked the mirror. Never mind, sir,
/ am not going to bring you thing
from down town, not a blessed thing.
If you don't go out Of here this minute
I'll whip you. Stephen, Sfepheni
Never mind, when the rag man comes
I'll tell him to take you away
Ark.ansatc Trareler.