St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-06-25
ADDLED ny HOT WEATHER.
Disastrous Effect of a Very Warm
Day ON the Human Brain.

EIIecI Oh u very warm
Day ON the Human Brain.
Chicago News.
''Hot enough for you? Warm day. amt
it? How's this for hotl Rather warm.
eh?" These are few of the most aggra-
waited meteorological chestnuts to which
the average man has to submit in the sum-
mer, and which he himself uses
every time he sees per-
son whom he knows. The practice.
begun doubtless in mild sarcasm some ages
ago, has grown to the most fearful propor-
tons, injecting every class, every trade.
and every profession. 1t is not confined to
heard in the ranks of thinkers, lawyers,
preachers, politicians men of letters, staid
business men, clerks, laborers, street car
conductors and beggars.
The inclination of the American to So
ciable garrulity has something to do with
it. Although eminently man of business,
he is ever ready to stop on the street and
waste several minutes with a man whom
he knows but slightly and-that only in a
business way-in such brilliant repartee as
this:
Hello, Jonesp
''Ah, there, Smith"
Hot enough for you?"
81 should smile, Pm sweating like a
horse!'
''Pretty warm weather"
You bet! It's scorcher."
well, L must be getting along~
$50 must l. Keep COOL"
Cpl try"
''Well, so longr
'"Take care of yourself!'
And the two idiots part, only to meet
other idiots, and go through the perform
ance again with but slight variations. And
this i'll face of the fact that the thermome-
tiers are indicating 900 in the shade So
long have they gone through this rigamarole
OF idocy that they fail to notice The super
fluffy of their remarks.
And they haven't originality enough to
keep their mouths shut.
The practice has become almost unendur-
able, and strangers so often apply it to you
that one is often tempted to reply in the
same strain as did Burdette, when fiend
told him it was cold. The humorist un-
buttoned his coat, began tanning himself
and said: II don't find it So" Pretty good
sleighing." rejoined the other. No.
said Burdett, there is no snow, and
its very warm and dusty" The granger
ihoFeu OIL SGep, anu SAID: II you ain
crazy you're all awful liar ''Good man, u
said Burdett. 81 expect l am, but am not
a fool. l may tell startling lies, but
do not talk like an ass; and I would be
thought a liar and maniac rather than
an imbecile. l do not come into a car
where tile thermometer marks three de-
greeS below zero and tell a living, breath
ing, Intelligent, sensitive man that it is
cold. l dO not watch sleighs spinning by
and then attempt to instruct. amuse
or startle HIM by telling him the
sleighing is good. 1 would rather
astonish a man than bore him. In
order to astonish him may have to lie to
him. but that is better than boring him.
You might as well sit down and tell me
that twice two is four as to tell ME that it
is cold. You might as we'll tell me that
George Washington is dead as to tell me
that sleighing is good. Go away, good
man, go to sleep.
6 l tell you it is fine; there is no snow;
there is dust, and there are roses. l
walked from the north pole this morning.
Go, get thee to nunnery. and when you
can model your conversation on something
besides the United States signal seryi ice re-
ports, come and wake me up and hold me
in the matchlesS charm of your instructive
talk"