davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

This is rather notable commentary
on the m.tability of human greatness.
The Empress was at this moment in the
height of her fame and influence. Three
years later she was an exile, shortly af-
forwards a widow and now for some
years childless. The tablet promises to
survive even her memory. The En-
press appears not to have forgotten her
birthplace. She has been here once of
later years, but not since the death of
the Prince, and her name appears on
the visitors book ut the Alhambra in a
delicate hand simply as ''Condessa de
PerrefOnds, s Mayo, 1877" She is as
as rich in titles as in this worlds goods.
-Granada (Spain) Cor. Philadelphia
Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
ARCHITECT AND BUILDER.
An Anecdotc Illustrating the Difference
Between the Two Professions.

An Anecdote Illustrating the Difference
Between the Two Professions.
Architects are fond of telling an
amusing story which tends to illustrate
the difference between house-builders
and members of their own profession.
Itappears that Mr.. Alexander, an emf.
nent English architect, was in a certain
lawsuit under cross-examination by s
distinguished barrister who wished tt
detract from the weight of his testimo
ny, and who, after asking him his name,
proceeded:
"You are a builder, believe %
-"No. sir" was the reply, 81 am not
a builder; am an architect"
''They are much the same, l sup
pose Pr
II beg your pardon, sir; l can not
admit that; 1 consider them to be to.
tally different"
"Oh, indeed! perhaps you will STATE
wherein this great difference exists
.'An architect, SIR" replied Mr.. Alex
ander, ''conceives the design. prepares
the plan, draws out the specifications
in short, supplies the mind the builder
is the bricklayer or the carpenter. The
builder, in fact, is the machine; the
architect, the power that puts the ma
chine together and sets it going"
Oh, very well, Mr.. Architect" sale
the lawyer; land now. after your in
genious distinction without difference.
perhaps you can inform the court who
was the architect of the Tower o.
Babel?"-to which question Mr.. Alex
ander made the prompt and telling re
joinder:
"There was no architect. sir, anc
hence the confusion. Geo. j. Manson
in ST. Nicholas.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

Ifaew Uhsap Rlass Can - HAas to ~
| ssAbas Expsnslss ygssAs.
Brackets, mouldings and many srti-
Giles Of furniture may be made Of pine
and other light woods, and then 80
stained a. to closely resemble the most
expensive articles of their kind. Dye
ing and staining make the soft woods
tougher and harder. Many of the So
called mahogany. cherry and ebony ar.
ticles sold are made Of some common
wood, and stained the exact imitation
Of what they are supposed to really be.
I have seen cheap poplar. pine and
other woods turned into fine walnut,
mahogany and ebony corner cabinets,
footstools, writing desks, wall sockets,
mouldings. ETC., with little stain aud
varnish, and sold two hundred per cent.
above cost Staining wood is very sim.
Pile, and in short time any intelligent
person can learn how to do il.
To stain a walnut color. procure the
common furniture stain sold at all fur
niture and most drug stores. Dilute it
with turpentine until the required shade
is obtained. The wood can be darken-
ed by a second and third application, if
desired. For mahogany color, brush
the wood with hot solution of two
ounces of madden and one ounce of
fustic, boiled few minutes in one
quart of water. The stain may be
light or dark, as desired; the more mad.
der the deeper the color. To ebonize
wood, wash it three or four times-al-
lowing it to dry between each application
with boiling hot preparation of
strong dogwood and water Then,
when quite dry, wash it with solution
of acetate of iron. This acetate of iron
is mixture of iron filings and vinegar.
This is very valuable stain for eboniz-
ing articles of furniture, holdings,
brackets, etc. It sinks so deeply into
the wood that bruises or scratches will
not expose the original color.
A little p, actice with these stains will
enable person to give the wood
beautiful mottled, grained or shaded
appearance. and quadruple the selling
value of the article treated. Painted
surfaces can not be stained. All stained
fancy articles are improved by varnish-
ing. Pine and other light colored
woods may be stained liz ht hue and
given rich. glossy appearance with
equal parts of turpentine and linseed
oil mixed and laid on evenly and
smoothly with soft brush. This is ex-
cellent for such light woods as have q
beautiful natural grain-Prai,fe Farm
err.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
a PROTEST..

UAey pass me BY unnoticed. these well-bres
women and men;
land no recognition. 1t the hands Of Tie Up
per Ten:
TAsy return my hat uplifted and ny cordial
How dye d0f"
With q stony stare
"Welll Ideclaref
Or who the dickens are your
And yet meet them nightly at german. din.
ner and rOut,
The men of the clubs, the matrons and
'bude" this season "out."
AZ wedding and fete and luneheon, I'm a.
ways there to see.
know them all
The great and small;
And al OF them know me.
There's JONES' of the Knickeyb0chT-
helped him often Of late:
At Mrs. van der velvet's I've polished many
a plste;
10 Miss Dhdette, at Newport, was ali smiles
and respect;-
And yet when we meet,
In the park or the street,
They give me the cut directi
Then what is this vaanted breeding of the
boosted Upper Ten
This courtesy OF wOmen-this chivalry Of
men?
DO they think that 1 have no feelingf Do
they all ignore me so?
Because I'm q waiter
From the eminet cater.
ing firm of Gobble & Co.?
Arthur Lorel, In CeHtsav.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
EUGENIE's BIRTHPLACE.

The Unattractive House in Which the Ex.
Empress First Saw Light.
There is, however, q house less in
teresting and far less romantic. which 1
took the pains to visit. 1t is the one in
which Eugene, Countess de Montijo
and late Empress of the French, was
born. 1t stands in narrow street in
the old quarter of the Spanish town and
is singularly plain and unattractive. 1t
is whitewashed front of three low
stories, which is destitute of ornament
except an ugly iron balcony and simple
green blinds at every window. The roof
is covered with the Old-fashioned Span
ish tiles like those on the adobe houses
in California. These, projecting over
the caves, present rough apology for
a cornice. How long the Empress that
was to be lived in this simple dwelling
is not now in my memory, if it ever was
there, but believe she left Granada in
her childhood or girlhood or something
of that sort. In the wall of the second
story is inserted tablet on which is cut,
not in the noblest manner of the
graver's art, the following inscription
in Spanish:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
EFFORT AND RESULT.

A Thing Not Always Valuable in Proper.
tion to the Labor 1t Costs.
Effort and result are not always com.
mensurate. 1t takes years Of patien,
toll to erect building, which, wher
erected, will be the wonder of centu.
ries; the same amount of toll might be
expended in attempting to empty the
Atlantic Ocean, but the labor in thi
case would be followed by no fruitful re
suit. 1t is mistake to imagine that 6
thing is always valuable in proportion
to the labor that is spent upon it. The
value of diamond is increased by the
labor of the lapidary; but all the filing
and polishing would be valueless if Il
were expended upon brick. 1t is the
part of wisdom; therefore, to ash
whether the result will justify the labor
before the long toll is begun, rather
than to rush blindly into it, only tt
learn. after years of patient effort, thai
life has been spent ''laboriously doins
nothiEg."-S. s. Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

"A leading publishing house states
that when a manuscript is received it is
turned over to q reader" who, after
examining it carefully, returns it. with
his opinion as to its merit, or lack O.
merit. If reader returns q manu-.
script with a strong endorsement. the
merits of the work are considered from
q commercial point of view-whethel
it is likely to sell, how much it will cos.
for production, etc. Frequently the
manuscript is turned over to q second
reader, sometimes to q third. If all say
This is q strong work; think it viii
pay you to publish it." or words to thai
effect, of course their Recommendation
goes long way in the gu estion Of pub
fcation.-N =. Ewn.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
SHE WAS BONY.
A Thin Maiden Changes John Hearyi
Dudlsh Pr0pensities.

A Thin Maiden Changes John Bearyt
Dudish Pr0pensities.
John Henry, the masher, stood on the
corner with one of his kind, waiting fol
a girl to come along, whom he NIGH
crush. At last, thin young woman
from the rural districts came by, an6
John Henry thought he had found her
AS she passed he said something about
her being bony but he went after her.
and catching up, he said:
''GOod afternoon, Miss"
''Good afternoon" she replied sizing
him up as if she was going to put price
on him.
"Ahem, Miss, ahem, I-ah-." h.
hesitated.
"Well." she continued, cody. "why
don't you barke''
"Bark! Bark! 1 don't quite under
stand" he said, inquiringly.
''Oh, you don't? Well I might have
known better than to have given yor
credit for SO much intelligence, but il
our country q puppy that has had any
advantages OF training, always barks
when it finds bone"
Since that date John Henry is Q
changed man.-Merchant Traveller.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
The Hot Water Cure.

my dear" remarked Mrs. De Wigg
at the breakfast table this morning
''Dio Lewis sacs that hot water vii
cure all diseases"
HE does, does hep said Mr.. d.
Wigs.
Eyes, and persons who use the treat
ment ought never to be sick at all"
swell, / don't believe it."
"Why?"
"You know how sick I am all thu
time"
'But you have never tried the hot
water cure.''
"What! never tried it!' CALCULATED
De Wigs, as he sided towards thu
door. "Why I've been in hot water
ever since married you"
He got outside just in time to miss {
teacup fired ct him a. parting salute
-Rittsb1rgk CkTosiele.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

Mew the nrasSllnn Hnpssur = vaetam1sso
~ Dssisalns nahSsgs.
The prevailing opinion among the
business men in Brasilis that the EN-.
seror, Dom Pedro H., 10 lovable old
aumbug. Everybody regards the EN-.
peror with . feeling Of reverence. and
bis character and motives are universal
u respected. but he leaves the cares
Of State entirely to the direction Of
the Ministers and his half brother, the
Baron de Campanema, who has more
influence with the throne than the
Emperor himself. The old man il
wrapped up in philanthropic move.
ments, and is constantly engaged in
doing something for the amelioration
of his fellow men. but he is so easily
imposed upon and his ideas are SO i'm.
practicable that not only are his efforts
wasted, but large amount of money
with which q great deal of good might
be accomplished is expended upon
chemical projects that result in no good
to any one except the qualification that
the Emperor enjoys in performing what
he considers to be duty. He is credu.
lous, ingenious and trustful, and nc
matter what the reputation is of the men
who come to him with schemes, he never
fails to be caught by anything that
promises the Improvement or vel.
fare of his people. He devotes
almost his entire time to entertain.
ing impostors and developing schemes
that are suggested to him by the PEG.
pie who used the old mans philanthro.
pic disposition to accomplish their own
ends. The other day he gave fifteen
thousand dollars in order to develop 6
patent for the steering apparatus for 3
balloon, and he has contributed to sup
port more humbugs, cranks and swind.
lers than any man in South America.
He has sublime faith in the honesty o.
his fellowmen that no amount of ex.
perience can shake. 1t is said that the
children in the streets know about as
much of the public affairs of Brazil as
the Emperor.-N. 7. Sun.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

~ 1EaA UAo A1nDea - 1fa1e D9rg1agY Z
The prince u al modern burglars
was undoubtedly the late Mr.. Peace.
His proceedingA, after his conviction.
were scrutinised with the most eager
attention by the majority of the inhabi-
tants Of the British Islands. They de-
lighted to have bulletins Of his health
after his daring leap from the railway
carriage. to hear Of his theological dis
QUESTIONS, which were slightly enfeebled
BY cries for . drink, and to be told how
he partook Of coffee and eggs and bacon
on the morning of his execution. Like
other great men he has been forgotten;
but it may be worth while to record
some of the particulars of that extraor-
binary career. He certainly raised
burglary to one of the fine arts. Peace
was endowed with an ability, force Of
character, an intensity Of purpose,
which in any profession would have
made him eminent and useful. He had
a wonderful taste for music and was
called the youthful Taglioni. He was
fond of natural history. He had great
taste for mechanical construction, and
once in his lifetime he actually called on
Mr.. Plimsoll to get his support for a
method of raising sunken ships. But
all his highest aspirations were directed
toward the noble art of burglary. He
began with what is called ''portico'' bust
ness. He learned how to swarm W, the
porticos of houses and hotels, and he had
to do this in spite of the great physical
disadvantage of being lame. By indus
try and ingenuity he succeeded in over
coming this defect. He met with more
serious Encouragement through re-
peatcd convictions. He was, indeed,
repeatedly convicted, and earned SEN
fences of four years, of six years and of
ten years penal servitude. Neverthe-
less, he seems to have thought that the
business was 80 LUCRATIVE that he would
persevere in it, despite all risks and
misfortunes. His gains were very large,
his work being planned and conducted
in very bold and systematic manner.
He always had crucible at hand, with
which he could melt gold, and display
it in an ingot form, and without diff
Guilty dispose oft. He must have had con-
siderable acquaintance with the receiv-
ers of stolen goods, but though strongly
pressed on the subject by the prison
chaplain after his last conviction he re-
fused to give any information. On
many occasions he seems to have taken
more than f3OO worth of property in a
night. Once he lighted upon q safe
which looked very much as if it con-
tanned valuablcs. He went up stairs,
entered the owners sleeping room,
found key in his pocket which looked
like the key of the safe, and which, in
fact, proved to be so. That night his
booty was at least E25O.-AN the Year
Round.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

AT London dinner party the other
evening the ladies entered one room
and the gentlemen another. In each
room there was . basket of flowers, and
the ladies were asked to make choice of
flower from the basket, the flowers
being all different. The gentlemen
went through . similar proceeding in
another room, and ON the ladies enter
ing the drawing room the gentlemen
and ladies saw how chance had escorted
them.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
GOLD IN THE OCEAN.

The Incomprehensible Treasures Contained
In the Waters OF the Ocean.
In q recent lecture delivered by the
Rev. r. A. Cross, of Denver, Colorado,
he said: scientists tell us that the
water of the ocean contains gold at the
rate of one grain, Or about four cents
worth to every ton. At this rate a
thousand cubic feet of ocean water con-
tains about one dollars worth of gold.
If the ocean has an average depth of
one mile (though it is probably grcater),
it contains enough gold to furnish Sl5,-
100000 to every man, woman, and
child in all the world, or more than
500. O00, 900 to every family of seven.
At this rate, if figures do not lie, cubic
mile of ocean water contains about
$14O, OOO, 600 worth of gold.
"'What q pity we can not get it! do
you sayP Yes, it does seem a pity that
you and I can not get our shares. But
it would spoil all the fun if all the other
people got their shares, too. Gold would
no longer be a precious metal, and we
would have to keep right on working
for living.
''The ocean is rich gold mine, and
let me say confidentially that there are
plenty of unstaked claims on it
and in it. Two practical difficult
ties. however, hinder the work.
ing of those claims. One is the
difficulty of getting the gold out Of the
water, and the other is the difficulty of
storing the water already worked while
you are treating the rest. No doubt
Yankee genius win solve even these
problems when the time comes that
the ocean gold is needed. CAristian
Union.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

AT . sale of the effects of a late
English member of Parliament, an old
iron chest, which had remained in q
garnet beyond anybody's memory. was
sold to furniture dealer for '$6. rs. He
found it full of plate and family papers,
and offered it to the executors for 800.
They refused, and brought suit for the
return of the contents. The Judge de-
cided for the executors, holding that
they had never intended. to sell the con-
tents.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

AT the Journalist Club in Phila-
delphia recently, there was an exhibi-
ton Of the progress made in printing
since 1885. In 1855 the intelligent
compositor had not begun to get in his
work, the printing profession was than
b . very crude state.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

An eosnmunicat3oao ~ ~ oaooe
should be aCC0mpamied b Tie nA0e 0k he
&uthor; not ueceoBarily for publication, but
- an evidence of good faith on the part Of
The writer. Write only ON one side OF the Pc
per. Be particularly careful In giving names
and dates to have the letters and nSure0
p1air ard distinct
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

AS q rule, lawyers are q brave
class of men. ''It's conscience that
makes towards of us all" you know
N. Y. Independent.
One is just as liable to '.slip up on
too much mOdesty as he is to stub his
toe over too much cheek Whitehall
Times.
Mankind is by nature q critic, but
while he can point out everybody else's
faults, he is blind to his own. A jackass
can not see his own cara.
Yankee to Englishman Dragging of
the Thames: Why, look here, mister,
THAR amt enough water in the whole
of the Thames to make gargle for the
mouth of the Mississippi.
For Sale-Pug dog. Very intelli-
gent. fine-looking, wears his hair short
and smokes cigarettes. Perfectly love-
ly. One cause for selling is jealousy Of
my husband. Address Mamie Gidde,
Newport, Ky.-State Journal.
Big newsboy: Give me them PEN
mics. or I'll pound you again. Little
nswsboy: Pound away then. Me and
DIR. Franklin agrees. Take care Of
the pennies and the pounds will take
care of themselves. "-Prairie Farmer.
To live righteously one must live
soberly, for man who is Incorporate
in his words, or acts, or habits of life, 10
of necessity wronging his fell0w-men.-
n y Observer.
Hasn't yet occurred.
''Will you walk into my parlcrf'
Asked the barber of the dnde,
Who. clad in cOrkscrew trousers
Aud an Angl0-maniac mood,
Said: why WEAKLY would like 10,
would upon my word:
Bnt the beard longing wait for
Somehow hasn't yet occurred"
Suspension of Judgment at certain
times should be sedulously cultivated;
When we remember how frequently
complex conditions are involved, and to
accord to each its appropriate value, we
may well pause and reflect before COM
hitting ourselves to judgments which
may prove to be wrong. albany jour
AT one of the schools the master. in
. general exercise, wrote the word
''dozen" on the blackboard, and asked
the pupils to each write Q sentence con-
tanning the word. He was somewhat
taken aback to find on one of the papers
the following unique sentence: 81
dozen. know my lesson. IN r. Tribune.
Here is doctor who claims that
man can live for two or three weeks at
a time upon water alone" II can test
lily to its truth. Several different times
in my life I have lived from two to
three weeks on water" Good heav-
ensl whye" Had to; / crossed tho
ocean. '-Binshamton Republican.
-'Tom." said an lrishman to his
Office boy. twas the lump of ice put in
the water cooler to-day" '.No, sir"
replied the youth, 1T was left over from
last evening. and as it was . largo
lump, / thought it would answer.
You did. Ell? you rascal! Throw it QUIT
throw it out! and put in some fresh ics(
an niver agin try to palm of . stalo
article on me. "-foledo Blade.
-"Mother,'' said little RocklAnd
girl, looking up from her book. what
does Transatlantic mean?" s'Oh, across
The Atlantic, of course. Don't bother
ne. you made me forget my count"
'.Does trans always mean acrossf" II
suppose il does. II you don't stop
botheriDg me with your questions yoa'n
70 to bed" Then does transparont
mean . cross parentf" Ten minutos
later abe was resting in her little ouush
Dpek:sad On ~ C6srir.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

There Is sort Of clothes-pin N
rangement coming from Paris th&
makes artificial dimples in the girl u
tho period cheeks after one application
Oh. vanity. vanity, what cruelties an
committed in tAy name.-M Z. Hei5
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

The Labor Commissioner Of the
State Of New York says he has found
among the working women Of New
York City and Brooklyn ''such poverty
and squalor" - be had never dreamed
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

The value Of hogs lost In Nebrask
from cholera during the past two yean
h placed at q, 60a, 900.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

/: In this house was born tn. illustrious:
:Senora DOna Eugenia de guantanamo.
:Portocarrero. reigning Empress of the:
French. The municipality of Granada:
(: has placed this stone here in honor and:
Remembrance Of their noble compatriote.:
/: Year 1857.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29


his property gone, his hopes shattered,
and he took his wife and shipped for
Scotland. It was on the way home in
this British ship. that they encountered
a French frigate; and of course there
was q sea-fight.
s.But Flora Macdonald did not 90 be.
low then, and spend her time between
screaming and praying, as some women
might have done. She stayed on deck
through the whole action, binding up
wounds, encouraging and helping, and
presently she had her arm broken fol
her pains.
az have hazarded n8 life, she said,
for the House of Stuart and for the
House Of Hanover; and / do not see
that am q great gamer by either Of
them
"But she was satisfied in having the
French frigate beaten, and she reached
Scotland at length in safety. She
must have been awoman of iron nerves,
I think. She had five sons. all Of
whom were soldiers. And when she
died at last, her shroud was made Of
the sheets in which the Prince Charles
Edward had slept at Kingsburg."
'.And Is that aH?" asked. as grand.
ma stopped and put on her glasses.
''Isn't that enough?" she returned.
I thought perhaps the truth might serve
your purpose IS well rs the romance, Il
it is not SO charming. But, you see, il
we have our story Of our lady Arabella
johnson here, they have quite as good
0 one of their Flora MacD Donald down In
the old North State. which. perhaps you
may not know, claims to be the first Of
the thirteen on whose shores the Eng.
lish landed, and the first in which the
old Colonists threw OF the British
yoke. ''-Haujet Prescott Spo0ord, ia
Hosstk's C6nspanjoa.