Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-28
BRIGHT BITS.

AT the Police Court: A beggar has been ar
rested as vagabOnd. Then you have no
employment?" said the Judge,
pardon me, monsieur he replied, with
out blush: You are mistaken. l do the
blind mani raphic.
Mr.. FOGG (reading from the morning paper
Why, my dear, this very sudden. Our
friend Mrs. Smtth has died.
Mrs. FOgg-Mrs. Smith? You don't say so /!
How very glad am that we had her to tea
last week! -Hdf2s''S BdSGr.
"a HEN has to feet " ale done t." This
was what Supt. b. B. Russell, of Brockton,
Mass, placed upon the blackboard for the pu-
pils to correct. This was the way one boy
corrected it: He didn't done it, God done
lt."-B0Ston Jou'7sat Of Education.
"MY DEAR" observed Mrs. snaggs, last
night, as she looked up from the paper, Il
Often see reference to bimetallists."
yes" replied Snaggs.
"What Isl a bimetalistt"
"A scrap-iron dealer is a buy metallist."
"Oh, to be sure! Whv didn't | think OF
that2"- PhSfddsJDtid CAL.
SIGNS OF SPRING.
The infant Spring has come once more,
And German bands again we hear;
The bore comes IN ami shuts the door,
The gaudy book beer signs appear;
The dude again his ulster spOuts
And 4. cats on the back fence sing.
These are the signs beyond all doubts
Which hail the presence OF &. Spring.
-Neao HGUeR heaos.
PYEsNAP-welI. De Jones, now that you
have fal ed as a broker, / suppose you will
take that position your uncle offered you in
the stock yards.
De Jones-What, II Takesuch a vulgar po-
sitlOn. Oh, no.
Pyesnap-A nd why not?
De JOnes-I owe il TO myself as a gentleman
to keep out of such plebeian pursuits.
Pyesnap-Yes, but you owe a good deal
more to your ereditOrs.-C hicd0O Rambler.
"GooD MORNING, Mr.. Bikin; could you set
tie that little account today"
"Well--er--I--yon see, it's this way. I
could have settled It. and intended to. You
see. had some money coming from Oregon.
but the ship sank. spose you heard about
that ship sinking in New York;"
ives, but"
"a know, of course. it wasn't your fault, but
! guess you'll have to wait Till the next boat
from Oregon comes ln."-Chieago Nes0s.
JIMMY, what's a Gearing houseY" asked
one street labOrer of another, as he leaned
YEARLY on his broom to wait for a reply.
nm not exactly on to it," was the answer.
at can't be a sugar refinery"
81 think not. | think had case of it
once myself, but may not be right. put a
little mortgage on my place, ami when it came
due the fellow cleared me out of the house so
fast that we entirely forgot one Of the chill
dren and had TO go back for him. Wall
Street Neles.
SINGULAR. isn't it, how much more it costs
science to do anything scientifically than 1t
costs common people to do the same equ lily
well, in an of hand, blank verse sort of way
The government will spend 81, 000, 900 building
an iron clad, and then put a projecting prov
of solid steel, weighing somewhat less than the
earth, in order that she may be able to make
tide endeavOr TO sink another ship. In the
meantime a wooden schooner, close reefed
andsaing with a light breeze in smooth
sea, sleeplly jams into one of the best iron
steamships afioat aud sends her to the bottom
Science, my boy, il great thing, so long as it
deals with intangible theories that no man
understands and that are never pat into prac-
tice. When it ascends into the plane OF the
commonplace, somehow it never amounts to
much.-Burdette.