The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1886-03-12
Here tie. tell you, in the soap barrel.
Where 10 you .u?pose?'

recover Su'hcIcntiy to render the needed assist
ance.
Marsha Ann Stutson What do you mean
Haven't learnt ycu never to laugh at othe,
folks's calamitics: And here you be a laughing
right in your m mothcr's face =
But, mother, never saw you in a soap.bar-
rel, before
'Tan't noways likely you will ever again, il
L get out OF this one. Go out into the lot, and
call your father and Jabe to come here as quick
as their legs'll fetch en-. But you nee dn t ell
them what's happened they'll find that out
quick enough when they get here
Marsha, once out Of her mothers sight, en-
joyed another hearty laugh, and ran to the
field for the men, who, dropping their rakes,
fastened toward the house.
Marsha waited at the top Of the stairs, trying
to compose her countenance before entering the
presence Of her mother again but at last she
led the way fer Jabc, saying:
Mother has met with an accident down
here.
Pecring through the darkness, honest Jabe
How did you get in there ??
It's none of your business how | came here.
T. here, and have got to be got out, some way
or other. Where's your manners, Jabe Ifovey,
that you stand thcro and laugh at me in this
perdickerment?
Perdickerment should say it was soap
barrel, if was any judge.
What if tbs? Do you think I'm so big n
fool that don't know what I've 60. into :!
Marsha, where's your father? Why don It he
come along
: lie is coming
Yes, SOS Christmas. And s pose il tho
house was on fire lie wouldn't hurry n mite
quicker.
why, judy said Mr.. Stutson, on entering
tho cellar. Where on atth be yc, any yway?'
Where be !? Cant you see nothing I?
Better put on your srects and look in the soap
barrel Wal, declare for it Ef h.in't t
got to stani hero and wait for another one to
haw-haw and giggle! For my part, don t
sec nothing to laugh at. What are you think
ing of, Giles Stutson, a standing there laughing
like that at me? What kind of use is il for me
to learn Marsha Ann to be respectful, when you,
her father, don't show me respect.
Come, come, mother, don't scold. If you
could see yourself as We can, you laugh you
couldn't help it. But how came you 70 get in
there, Judy Guess you must have get foul Of
that ciuer barrel.
Giles, what do you mean a-talking so, when
you know was one Of the leading wimmin in
the temperance cause and the idee. Accusing
me right a-fore my own child Of doing such a
thing
Wal, Mrs. Stutsou, how be you going to get
out asked Jabe.
That's what Id like to know, Jabc. You
get that wash bench around here, so that can
have it to step on to and you take h old Of this
side AMI Giles, here, you take 'tothcr. and
when you .wo hist up, Marsha Ann can
scranc eff the soap. Here. Giles, you ain't
good for nothing lc never was knee high to
a toad If | ever git another man, III git one
that won t have to stand on a sheet Of paper to
reach a soap barrel
After numerous attempts, Mrs. Stut,on was
par: ally outside the barrel with one knee rest
ing on the top, when splash shc went back
again, spattcrinG the soap in every direction, a
goodly portion lodging on Giles shirt front
while he, with the others, wa. enjoying another
hearty laugh.
Did ever see sich q pack of fools . she e1.
CLAIMED.
There no use crying over split milk, Judy.
Split mik, and woman in soap barrel, are
two different things, and you'll find il out SC
afore you git through
always told you, judy, if you ii do little
less scoldng, and u.c little more soft soap
you do now
Wal, guess I've got enough out this time
to suit you, and don't you never dare to say
soft soap to me again. just rs long rs you live
Aftcr spending a great deal Of time and
strengh, Mrs. StutSon was at aat as far out OF
her dilemma rs the washbench and began com
menting upon her own personal appearance.
Who ever sc, sich n looking critter: Calikel
dress all spilled, shoes, stockings, and the hull
rig.
She then ordered Jabe to get tub of water
and Masha to bring clean clothes. Mr.. Stutsor
had already gone for the meat rack. thinking il
would have been cheaper 20 pur it up in tho
first place than to have been hnderei in thi.
way, and wishing women folks would minC
their own business and let the men folks alon,
Just look this cel!er bottom - Mrs
Stutson exclaimed and this bench, and things
ltll take hull day to clean it up as i
ought ter be, and all this because the men folk
didn't tend TO things as they "rtcr.
But from that day TO this, whenever judy
begins 10 scold, Mr.. Stutson says: A lcetl
soft soap. Judy, and Judy is silent.
M"rnER'S REMEDY.-I would sugges
in addition to Mary's recipe for cakeo
breasts TO add to the bceswax and muttoI
talow, honey aud fresh butter Mother
rnln wa4 q SnnnnInl Of each mnltnn Innnt N r