Sierra County advocate. [volume] (Kingston, N.M.) 1884-1960, 1886-11-13
A CHURCH CONCERT.
Trustworthy Report of What Young
Man who Accompanied Young Lady
Saw and Heard There.

Trustworthy Report of What Young
Man who Accompanied Young Lady
Saw and Heard There.
eve enter and take our seats)
Young Lady-There, Mr. jenkins,
told You we should not be late. You
see we have lots of time. Oh! did you
ever see such a horrid hat as Mrs
Deusenbury Smith has got onP It's per
fectly awful.
Woman behind us Gin hoarst
whisper)- What that girl can see ii
jenkins | never shall understand.
Her Companion-Me neither. They
say he owes thirty dollars fol
board to Mrs. Bowler, and she tells
me
Myself Excessively warm, is it notF
Young Lady-lt seems qnite cool to
me. But see! here comes the pianist,
Signor Staccato. l thiak he is just
splendid.
Sig. S. (on the grand -pianis-
simo) tumty tum. Tumtytum
ta-a-a-a-a, etc.
Various persons in my immediate
neighborhood They say she's going
to be married again, and No. in
decd, for | told him just what
thought of You don't say so! Well
/ Yes, that's him right over there.
He She sings in the choir, and |
must say Isn't he perfectly grandP
Sig. $. (fortissimo) Thumpetty-
thump-thump mp-thump-crash bang!!
Young Ladv-Ile is just wonderful!
(Tumultuous applause. Sig. s. comes
back and docs it some more).
Young Lady (when he has linished)
i could listen to him all night,
couldn't youP
Myself could, but it would make
me very sad, (My Lady Friend looks
daggers at me, and | see that | have
made mistake).
Woman behind us-How out of place
that jenkins looks at a classical con-
cert like this.
Myself feigning deep interesD-
All. Miss Cantakc is going to sing.
High-priced Soprano-Una yoca poaa
ia, etc.
Man in front of us-That woman has
been married three times. Her name
amt no more Cantake than mine is.
Her first husband WAS
Woman behind melt cost dollar
seventy u yard, and (Wild applause.
High-prccd Soprano comes back and
bows but won't sing, Enter the gifted
artist, w. Macready Higgins).
Young LADY, am acquainted with
him. He is too awfully funny for any
thing. He told par that il came just
as natural to him as breathing.
w. M. II. (givng his great imitation
of Irving) -Gud, gud, me lud. etc.
Man in front of me-Did you ever
see lrvingp
His Companion-Ya He's no good
You orter see Buffalo Bill. Now he
can act, he can. (Frantic applause
w. M. II. comes back and initiates
Lawrence Barrett, whom he represents
as an asthmatic individual with unmis-
taxable premonitory symptoms of the
blind staggers.)
Young Lady-Ain't he just too
splendidP He told par that Mr. Barrett
saw him give that representation once,
and was SO overcome that he had to
leave the hall.
Myself can readily believe that
U am about to make further remarks
of asarcastic nature when EntcrIsrael
Morgenstern, the talented American
violinist.)
|. NJ. (playing his great Reyery in G
sharp minor) Wa-a-a-h, wah, wah,
wahwahwah wo-o-o-o-w, etc, etc q |
gradually become oblivious to my SUR
roundngs and am soon in the arms of |
what-you-may-cal him. l dream that |
| have been chosen umpire in a cat
fight, and that | am presently obliged |
to decide against a large, blue-eyed |
cat with determined expression of |
countenance, who in his Indignation |
fiercely attacks me. We fight for some |
time with clothes-poles, and | am
presently stabbed in the arm. | awake |
to find that my Young Lady has stuck
a pin into me.
Infant Phenomenon (on the plat
form Mabel little Mabel, with her
face against the pane.
Myself-Im afraid I've been doing
Young Lady Gcily)-You have slept
two entire numbers.
Myself am very
Young Lady Cten degrees below ze-
ROY You need not apologize.
bobpl Va tbhlCH ppltl1
with voice like fog-horn) IL am re-
quested by the Young Peoples Associ-
alton to thank the congre-I mean the
audience-for its attendance, and to
state that an oyster supper has been
prepared in the chapel (Audience be-
comes interested.) Only fifty cents per
head will be charged, and the proceeds
will be used-thanks TO the kindness of
the Young Peoples Association-to de-
fray your pahstor's expenses on his
coming lecture tour. Pahss through
the door to the right. q am about to
invite my Young Lady to partake of
bivalves. when ! remember that have
only thirly-fve cents in my pocket.
ErettHt, myself and my Young Lsdy
into the street. Ezeunt nearly every
one else into the chapoD- r I
StedrnS. in Tid-Bits
Waller Gordon, of Atlanta, Ga
s said 10 have made three snug for
-unes in six years. In Georgia Pacific
he and his brother Z. c. Gordon, drew
,ut $4,000 each in clear cash, one
4. 1.