Mexico weekly ledger., 1886-05-13

tne no}c SDeei | We HNTpFtseu 10 SAu ,
1.-The Executive Committee of the
Missouri Press Association request that
you prepare a paper on the subject en-
titled. Big PUTS for Little Tickets
with special reference TO shows, enter.
tainments, etc. a good subject, said |,
but | doubt ii | can do IL justice. Here
l have a religious pamphlet TO get GU
u stock catalogue TO follow and this,
and that work u turn out. My work
in hand was enumerated, and remem
bering the carefully prepared papers
usually read before the association OF
giant intellsc,s that assemble annually
on free pastc-boards my heart failed
me, and would fain have pleaded lack
of time. But, like the defeated canti'
date in whose bonnet the official bee
has once buzzed, | decided to make the
race-'at the earnest solicitation of my
friends"
In the matter of bestowins big pntls
for little tickets, we are, my brethren,
one great, sorrowing brotherhood, and
we get there every time. From ali my
exchanges ! CLEAN this fact every week
From the Carrollton Record | OBJ
serve that Col. Joe Turner has gone in
to the chicken business. More proper
ly speaking he is a pou!trier, having
come into possession of q wonderful
incubator. which matches chickens
from china door-kncbs. and charges
nothing for being mother and father oi
the fiocks turned out. The farmers
about the city of Carrollton have killed
OFT their hens, the egg market in that
city is q thing of the past, and spring
chickens are SO plentiful that AS
Methodist preachers have applied fol
the ~pastorate at that place. | ought
not, perhaps to give it away, but
know this wonderful incubator was Sc
cured by Col. Joe for 81 80 in cash, anc
$40 in big puffs.
What has this to do with my subject
Not much. 1t is merely a case of "Bis
puffs for little chicks" and if Bro
Turner does not like my allusion to hi
great bargain, when he is sitting VI
nights pouring hot water into hi
door-knob hatcher, he can teach tn,
little chicks to roost high.
The campaign is on. l suppose yo'
are all aware of this fact. l can Sc
the announcements in the late styles O
spring clothing before me, and l an
glad of it.
We all have campaign experience
that are dear to our heart. Too dear,
may say yet few of us ever run for o.
flee or go to Washington in search G
mamma from the Democratic heaven
Yes, the dear, delightful campaign sea
son is here in all Its brilliant splendol
and five-dollar announcements, an
with all its big Puffs for Little Tick
cts" Shadrack Baysey, Esq, hand
in his five dollars, and says "Tell 'er
! all the good things you kin about me
Everybody down in Postum Bend is fo
me, tooth and toe-nail, and 'tother fe
Ter hain't got no chance" Then Shad
rack goes home and gets the distriC
school master to write up and send t
the editor a glowing tribute to tn
many virtues and qualifications {
Shadrack Baysey, Esq, n of the oil
pioneers of the county, and a .'lii
long Jacksonian Democrat" too prou
to beg in his old age, too hor9ot t
steal" ETC., etc, etc. You have a
ready given the old pioneer a ten-do
lar putt with his ~five-dollar announce
.ment, and your brain is sore from tn
} racking you gave it to get words suite
to the occasion. But you insert tn
card, for fear Squire Shadrack will /
elected, and then get his two dollar
!, worth of noteheads at "the other o
I flee" or send off to some penitential
! printing concern. This sort of b
putting usually runs through all IL
+ county offices, and, when the campaig
is over, you find you haven't made
, dollar, and owe four dollars to II
j torch-light procession fund. But it
D all right; you drown your sorrows |
s going out with the band to serenat
j Squire Shadrack Baysey, who has,bet
elected by forty-nine majority, al
r when you go home and tell your wi
"nuzzen's the matter, just been havi
: little fun with 'er boys" you get Il
: biggest puff of the campaign, and
' ticket for big headache next morning
: l shall not expatiate on the big bee
s the large turnip, the tall wheat, Il
mammoth pumpkin. With this d
:. partment of my subject you are
familiar. / remember once that l car
. near losing a whole p~ostotiice list
: subscribers by failing to give Aunt 81
t ly Ryestraw a column puff for a prese
S of a mess of unusually early pie-plar
Ugh l threw the stuff oyer the fent
and it was so soul that it set on ed
s the teeth of all my neighbors. 1 forg
to say that my list of subscribers
: Aunt Sally's postofIice was made up
that estimable woman, and the POI
master, who received the paper free 1
e acting as my agent. l got out of +
difficulty by describing Aunt Sally
forty-acre farm, as a delightful retire
in a wooded dell, where the sweet p,
fume of wild flowers lulled one to sic
at twilight, and daily renewed t
youth of the. mistress of the mansi
e (l4.by 24). As a fact, Aunt Sally was
J. and had been married three tim
Even at this late day, l tell you tt
J. strictly in confidence. Shall I skip c
genial friend, the patent medici
e AGENT He is getting to be Nigh
common, but you always find him
the top of the column, next to readi
matter. You all know him, and KIN,
J. Just what he is going to ask you to
y and you do it. When he comes into t
Office and lays out his copy for ads a
y readers you ask him if he is SELF
l. much of his cast-iron preparation
.e hardening mems consciences, andin
" mate, when he names the price he "
pay, that he has used a great deal
his OWN medicine. In return he "
smile-one of those plying, missions
u smiles you see when a collection is
ken up for the heather, and add anot
l. er reader, without elevating the pr
o in the contract. The patent medici
advertising agent is not a daisy. E
he is an iron fence around the flow