The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1886-11-25
MISS JAMES HOBBY.
BY LIZZIE G. JORDAN.

Miss Jane Chandler was woman of
remarkably strong prejudices. Every
inhabitant of Russellville acknowledged
that, and strangers who came to town
were speedily and thoroughly enlight-
ened. no halfway sentime its originated
in her sctive BRAN; her views were clear
and decided, and she believed in them
and herself implicitly.
Miss Chandler was, as some one ex-
pressed it, "a queer combination Of con-
tradictions." She ignored her neighbors
in health, but attended them deyotedly
if sickness visited their homes. She
loudly expressed her adherence of beg
gars, and privately but bountifully
assisted every one who applied to her.
Woe to the luckless urchin who, carried
away by an irresistible temptation, dared
to steal peach from her beloved tree!
The culprit was invariably pursued, the
booty recovered and the small sinner
dispatched to his friends bearing marks
of a dire conflict. But the child who
lstoodSoItside the little white gate dnd
looked longinglyat the ripe fruit, touch.
ing none, was generally called in and
permitted to ill his pockets. The rising
genel alton Of Russellvile soon discov-
cred and ted upon this fact, and all the
longing which the yearning of the hu-
man stomach can throw into the human
eye was daily illustrated in front Of Miss
James cottage.
There was one action of hers which
the children discussed in mysterious
whispers. Many of them had passed
through the ordeal-others feared it
none could explain it. 1t seemed that
occasionally she would invite some small
cherub to walk into her parlor, where she
would produce number of strange
looking books and charts, 'full of heads
and faces" the children said, and then
proceed to solemnly examine the small
visitors head, hanging in rapture over
certain "bumps" and audibly deploring
the prominence Of others.
Here, in a word, was Miss James
hobby-phrenology She also studied
physiognomy, and indulgcd in the firm
ly-rootcd belief that afte: careful study
of any persons head and features, she
could read that persons character, 'like
an open book, before her."
She was discussing the sub. ect, as she
Sat one p eaSant afternoon, on her little
front lawn, with her friend, Miss Martha
Cummings, the village milliner. Out
side the gate stood several small boys,
gazing on the peach trees with that ear
nest gaze that had so often been the
open sesame to Miss James yard. But for
once the ardent glanccs fell unheeded.
Their benefa ,tress was mounted on her
favorite hobby, with considerable to say
and q good listener. The boys had
cause to look very blue indeed.
mo, I don't s'pose you do b'lieve in
it," Miss Jane was saying, rs she rocked
slowly back and forth and turned the
heel of stocking with an accuracy and
ease denoting long practice. II reckon
you're thinkin' this blessed minute, that
woman Nv my age ought to hev more
sense. But mark my words, Marthy,
the days bound to come when you'll
understand Jest what I mean n agree
with me. The dayll come when every
one'll learn the value Nv phrenology,
an know enough to Judge by the shape
Nv his head an the cast Nv his features,
an not by the cut Nv is close or his
smooth. oily tongue. An the sooner
that time comes, the sooner folks'll es-
cape bein' cheated, an deluded an
fooled. Then folks won't open their
arms to friend an find they've cher
ished viper that'll turn an sting 'em.
I've always said, an always will say,
that life's too short to waste any wv it
on people you don't care about, unless
you can help 'em ia some way. The
minute I see a stranger I can tell
whether want to have anything to do
with him or not, an don't make any
mistakes, either. Now, there was that
Janet Clark, the new music teacher that
came here last winter I see it jest a
stickin' out Nv the bumps on that girls
head, that she was rash an deceitful
and sly. An what did she do2 Run
away with the doctors son and got mar
ried when his folks was so set against it
that it most killed his ma! Humph! I
knew just what was comin' Ch, you
can laugh. aIarthy, but I can laugh
louder. She don't owe me four dollars