The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1886-03-18

ushered in He appeared to bo q person
about six feet high, lame in tho left leg, Of
sanguino temperament, and to be possessed
of great presence of mind. BE bowed right
and left smiling like q tickled baby, and
began his address by saying:
Nobody knows how good it makes me
feel to stan in de shelter Of dis famous ole
Paradise hall an look down upon de POO
faces turned up to dc shingles. If my sister
hadn't taken noshun to die, an If hadn't
got half-faro ticket to come dis way
might nebber hev sot eyes on dis famous ag-
gregation Of: wisdom prudence an pro
greshun. [Cbeers] T.. ~. %. .g''' ...
'Whar' war de culpd people of dis kentry
twenty vars ago? Let your memories. run
back to de close Of de wa, Wo war; mon IN
statoo,' but chilrn in inteileck. On do day
dat peace was declar'd, had you put me down
in Cincinnati wild $50 bill in my pocket
should hev bin helpless. Your wise presl.
dent here couldn't hev told whether shot
gun loaded from in front or behind Had
=f,olfed 1saiiG " itfpolc Who Shake.
spcarc was, he would hcv crawled under de
bed in confushun. Trustee Pullbaclz had de
'Pilgrim's Progress all mixed up wild dc
Pirate S Promenade Waydown Bebee didn't
know whether dc Ohio ribbor empticd into
de Mississippi or Salt creek. [Great ap-
plause.l
..'We war; chill'en in feelin' au' ackshun-
Do tones of dc fiddle war; mo- to us den dan
do voice Of Progress am now. If wo had
hoecake an bacon we war content to let dc
rest of de world hev poetry, science, art an
wealth Our religun might 'hev him all
right, but do rest Of us war all wrong. In
our ignorance, de sun riz on dc plantashun
to dc cast Of us an sot on do ono to dc west.
De world was composed Of about TO stats,
an ell de knowledge an wisdom was sup.
posed to be carried under do hats of dozen
white men," [Agitation1
Here tho orator paused to wipe his brow
and straighten up his wilted collar, and
when he had got, his second. wind he con-
tinucd: ........ ........ '.'...r.. O. T..
t'Now, fur yyhar we are Take de finest
lie paintin' in dc land an walk into any
barber shop;in de kentry an you'll find men
to criticise it. .Dey'l pint out de facl dat de
foreground has skipped cog, or dat dep per-
spective corkscrews too much. Dey'u light
down on o bad sky like hawk on chicken,
an you kin trust 'em to diskiber anything
wrong wild waterfall or. a side hill.
(Cheersl esq.,. ..'.........-.. Il, .o., ...
"Whitc men who come to us an look wise
an talk about de sciences am astonished to
find dat dey am barking up de wrong tree.
We has got .dar! Sewer gas keeps just "a
fur away from de cabin Of de black man
as from de palace Of de white. De, science
Of government am discussed ober our din
uer pals as often as in lie halls OF legisla.
shun. Material philosophy has to keep
dodgin' to get out O our way. Prolonged
applause. J De Guild race was a long way
back whom do last gun was fired, but dey
has bin trabblin' on run eber since.
II should like to talk to you fur two
hours, [chcersl but do occashun am not pro
pitious. If anybody among you has any
doubts dnt our race has not passed de
three. quarter pole let him sot out and
tabble few miles shall now pass on
to see my dying sister, and I shall always
remember dis event wid de moas' malignant
pleasure. In wishin' you farewell, permit
me to use de words Of Socrates to de
Egyptians: Cum dig Solis.'"
pENsTocK TRIES SHOT.
Giveadam Jones moved that a vote Of
thanks and the freedom Of the city be ten
dered to the orator, and added that he
hadn't had anything do him so much good
since watermelons went out Of market
II hope dat moshun will not prevail"
said the Rev. Penstock, as he bobbed up.
II claim dat de greater part Of dat speech
was stolen bodily from one1 delivered in
Richmond six Vars agoW
ut doan' seem possible" replied the. presi-
dent. ...
ssBut 1 am suah Of it, sab. worked fur
three weeks on dat speech, on remember
almos' ebery word Of it"
On motion Of Waydown Bebee q COM
mittee of two went out to find the Hon.
Standoff and bring him in to face the
music, but he had gone. Also, Elder Rafflo's
plug hat, Samuel Sims ovcrcoat and
lantern belonging to Antimony Johnson
Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Tildcn's Wit.