The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-02-27
A WELl.lEARNED LESSON.


4 Half-Hour with the Infant Class in
American Humor.
Teacher Ito infant class in American
humor)--Children, Mr.. Tutfboy said to
Mrs. Tufihoy; ~ fear that am threat
ened with brain-fever." What was
Mrs. Tuffboy's reply?
Pupils Tin chorus)-''That is impos.
sible, my dear; you have no brains
Teacher-Correct. Mr.. Jones met
MIR. Smith on the street, and said to MIR.
Smith; You have changed consid-
crably, Jones, since | saw you a year
ago. At that time you were bright and
hopeful, and wore good clothes; now
you seem sad and depressed, and your
clothes are shabby. What in the world
is the matter, old manp' What cx-
PLANTATION did Mr.. Jones make?
Pupils Gin chorus)-He said that h,
had got married.
Teacher-Excellent. Now again: A
gentleman, richly attired and with a
diamond on his s%hirt-bosom as big as a
headlight, went into a cigar store and
called for a forty-cent cigar. After
calmly lighting it with a hundred-dol-
lar bill which he took from hA vest
pocket, he stepped into his carriage at
the door, and was driven rapidly up
Fifth avenue. What business was this
gentleman in, whose profits permitted
him to waste money in this extraordi-
nary way?
Pupils Gin chorus)-He was a base.
ball umpire.
Teacher-No.
Pupils Tin chorus)-Proprietor Of a
roller-skating rink?
Teacher-No.
Pupils Gin chorus)-EditorP
Teachcr-Not quite.
Small Pupil (triumphantly) -
Plumber.
Teacher-Correct, Johnny. You are
destined to become a great humorist.
Should humorist be spelled with a CAPT
tai or small II?
Pupils with tremendous emphasize
Capital H!
Teacher-That is right. Again, chill.
dren, a young man and a young lady
were passing a certain place of bust
ness, when the young lady began fan
ming herself and complained of being
excessively warm. The young mar
paid 40 attention to her, but hurried
on. What place of business was it that
prompted such extraordinary conduct
on the part of the young lady3
Pupils Gin chorus)-Oyster saloon.
Teacher No.
Pupils Tin chorus)-Ice-cream sa-
loon.
Teacher-Certainly How large a
salary do some of the great American
humorists receive?
Pupils Gin ch~orus)-Nine dollars a
week.
Teacher-Right. I will ask you one
more question, and then the class will
be dismissed. A acknowledged soul
ful-eyed young man, with fringe on the
bottom of his trousers legs, climbed
eight flights Of stairs and asked to see
the editor. When he was picked up on
the street below life was extinct. What
did that ACKNOWLEDGED, soulful-eyed
young man want to see the editor for?
Pupils (tumultuously)-He wanted
TO sell him a spring poem.
Teacher-That is all for to-day. But,
children, before you 60 | want to cau-
ton you against II thing, and that is
pride. When you reach the age of
manhood and are eagerly snapped up
by the leading journals of Chicago,
Boston, Philadelphia, Kalamazoo, Oil
City, Wayback, Podunk and other
great centers of American humor, you
will naturally feel somewhat elated
over the fact that you are about enter
ing upon a brilliant journalistic career.
But beware of pride. Do not imagine
that because the Poduuk Clarion says:
brother Tompkins, of the Wayback
Citizen, is one of the most brilliant
young journalists of the day. you are
smarter than the managing editor. He
may know very little about humor, but
he is familiar with the intricacies of
the waste-basket. And a waste-basket
is one of the most important adjuncts
of a newspaper office. 1t is an encour-
aging sign of the times that they are
yearly coming into general use.
You a 60 now. dear children, but 60
carefully. 1t would be a dreadful
thing if any of you should chance to
strike your head against a cobweb and
knock your brains out.-Puch's an
nual.
RREhKINN IT HENri