Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-13
BRIGHT BITS.

Wife, guess l will get your fall overcoat
and see If ILs all right. Is 1T hanging up?
Husband-Yes. It's hanging up. but 1t amt
all right, for have LOST The ticket.--JudGe.
A thought you were a vegetarian and
now l see you eating mutton!
B.-Wel, am only an Indirect vegetarian
eat the meat OF such animals only as 1--we on
vegetable food Aegende Btdtter.
II AM going to your wedding, amt II"
said one girl 10 another. II amt sure about
your coming TO nv wedding. My folks are
N such rage about my wedding that amt
sure they VIII even let me go to - German
Joke.
Il WISH you had any manners" said Rob-
PIES mother despalrlngly. looking at her in
liant son with re rovlhg eyes.
''Pve got all you ever taught me-" re-
sponded the young hopeful. "buC | do get so
awful tired using 'em. That's why Pm bad
sometimes. - oaton Hec0rd.
WHEN the Chinese built their great wall, a
large part OF the money contributed for the
WORK came from the Oriental Timed Plate
Association This sheme, however, PANIED
OFT very Doorly for Chinese commerce. and
the Timed Plate Association themselves lost
their capltal.-COHrter-JO WrsadI.
CHICAGO Young Lady lat dinner in Boston,
May trouble You to pass the potatoes. Mr..
" aldo?
Mr.. " aido--0h, certainly no trouble at all,
assure you.
Chicago Dung Lady--Never mind the dish.
Mr.. Waldo, Jass slab one with your fork
Puck ~
THAT'S nice dinner said the woman to
the tramp, "but why dou't We set down while
we eat it?"
'Set downn repeated the tramp. MADAM,
l was street car driver until got too tired
to ride an | wouldn't know how to eat if
had TO set down to my meals %" BinghdDetON
ReDubltcdn.
COLUMBIA-Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, wake
up! Canada has run away with another of
your fishermen, and Mexico has Just grabbed
one OF your editors
Uncle Sam (smiing in his sleep)-O, we'll
they've got most OF nv thieves already; now
If they're after my lar they'll soon make a
para use OF the republic. tSn0res again.
AUrdstte.
A NEW railway romance" contains an
illustration of a charming lake with the silver
moon rising over its wool fringed banks. and
the surface of the wster genll, stirred by u
passing breeze. What has the lake TO 90 with
The railroad? To water the stock with, of
course. Where does the romance come In E?
Why, in the directors annual report. Where
else would you LOOK for it?-RIiIOOa9 Nea0s.
MAKING the Best of 1.-THE Squire-Weu.
Mould. now about that horse sold YOU? Was
he quiet enough?
UndsrtaEer-Well,s sir. he did give us little
trouble at first. We put him IN one of tie
mourning coaches, yOH know, and parties
don't like to be shook up In their grief. But
we've put him IN the 'ea Sc now, and we
haven't card any complaints SO far.-PuacA.
JAMES" said a grocer to the new boy,
"what have you been doing in the back room
so lons?"
II was a pickin' the dead flies out OF the
dried currants slr,' replied James.
You were" replied the grocer with much
disgust. IAN your father told me that he
thought you were born for thu grocery busi-
ness. You had better study for the ministry,
james. "-EeSo Yprk San.
HON. JAKE 'ICHLD.'ot Missouri is de-
lighted with his position as United States
Minister to siam. Whenever he appears on
the streets the natives fall down on their
ia es before him, and battalOus of soldiers
present arms 10 him, and make way for
HIM by force If necessary. In all Mr.. Child 8
eX Qerlence rs a Missouri Democratic editor
ne does not remember ever having received
any such attentlons.-Nel0 YORK Tribune.
1T is easy to ask conundrum, but it is not
always SO easy TO give the exact answer when
your hearers give 1t up." Some years since
at a dinner party in Maine Judge Shepley
a-ked: WHY is woman like the ivy?" Into
eVerybod, 5 mind came lrving's beautiful
com parl5on, but no one seemed able to put it
into words. The answer, The greater the
ruin the closer she clings," is certainly a
credible sentiment, but the Judge unfortu-
| mattel, got things mixed, and in his confusion
said: THE c!o-er she clinGs the greater the
ruin" which set the table In roar.-Boston
Budget,