The Wilmingtonian., 1886-06-19
Lodge Secrets,

IUO AuStM LuuteS LtSCuSS We QueSttOn,
Mrs. Yerger--"You have no idea how
much trouble have with my old man.
didu't think it was possible for him to get
any sillier than he was already, but was
mistaken
"What is he up to now ?"
"He is always up to some new foolishness.
He is just running the lodge business into
the ground. 1 would like to know all that
goes on in these lodge rooms"
II would too. Judge Peterby comes home
every night about one o'clock, smelling of
something strong, and when ask him what
sort of smell it is, he has the impudence to
tell me it is incense which they use in their
mystic ceremonies"
'I've noticed the same smell about Col.
Yerger. He, too, said it was incense, and
the effect it had upon me proved it was ill.,
cense, because was incensed as soon as ]
smelt it. We poor women never find out
any lodge secrets, for even if a man is ever
SO laxative, when he comes home from the
lodge he is not in a condition to talk.
don't know what Col. Yerger has been doing
to deserve it, but they have made him Grand
Saehem.'
"What in the world is that ~
81 don't know. That's some new order he
has joined. He already belongs to the order
of the Veled Nightcaps, and the order of
Idiotic Red Muffs and three or four Ku-Klux
gangs"
Chow did you find out that he is Grand
Sachem? Does he talk in his sleop?'
mo. Day before yesterday was his birth
day. just as we were getting up from the
supper table there came two knocks at the
door, and deep, grave-like voice said, "Is
The Grand Sachem in his wigwam?'' Col.
Yerger open tina door, and there was Gus de
Smith, Kosciusko Murphey, Nose Schaum-
berg, Glhooly Hostetter McGinnis old
Judge Pennybunker and a lot of those repro
bates. They came into the room in Indian
file and said SIS our red sister well P''
Just think of it ~
'Id have scalped them with the Gre shov-
el,'' said Mrs. Peterby.
"Then Gilhooly struck an attitude aud
said Most noble Grand Sachem, this is
thy birthday, and thy red brethren, the
noble red braves now present in this wig.
wan, in consequence Of the high esteem they
have for their noble brother, and his great
services to the lodge, do hereby present thee
noble savage, with this gold-headed walking
cane. Lean on it, most worthy son Of the
forest, on thy stroll in the direction OF tn,
happy hunting grounds behind the setting
SUM- "
'Do you allow such proceedings in YOU
house, Mrs. Ierger? Why, | would hav,
scalded them. I'd have exterminated them
81 couldn't help it. Col Yerger was yer.
moved. He said it was the happiest momen
f of his life, but that his heart was too full o
utterance, and turning to me he had the i'm
, pudeDce to say, handing me quarter: Her,
} noble squaw, take this string of wampum
e go to the corner grocery with the tin grOwl
q 1r and bring some beer, that may max,
' merry with my red brethren of the forest
Q Be seated braves"
e 81 would have mopped the floor witt
n him."
S ''And for week afterwards he put on lot
, of airs. When wanted him to walk up an
down with the baby he said it was not th
1 business Of a warrior to carry the papous
a around. For a whole week, Mrs. Paterby
that wretched man talked dime novel to me-
: until threatened to invite mother to com
u and stay with us. That took all the nor
y sense out of the Grand Sachem.' y
"What silly fools these men are"
"Well, amt they ?"