Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-09-23
sUNBEAMs.
Patrons Of Husbandry-Wives.

=
lover than the beautiful's no?
1t seems little strange that when
we are tired we can best rest by retir-
ing.
Office Is like whiskey--when man
gets taste of it once he forever after
has hankering for 1t.
There was quite a coincidence at
my house last night" Indeed.
What was III" Twins"
A grocer advertises "some,hing new
in coffee" We are glad that beans
have had their day anyway.
An advertisement in a Swiss paper
says. ''Wanted, servant, who
knows how to cook and take care of
children"
The is nothing sweeter than kisses,
excepting when you look in through
the window and see the other fellow
getting them.
Husband-"Thst fence wants paint
ing badly. l think I'll do il myself"
WIFE, Yes, do 1t yourself.if you think
1t wants to lie done badly"
Mexico Is still sunk In barbarism.
Seventy bushels Of corn to the acre is
the average yield, and not a pint of
good whissey in the republic.
The force of habit is SO great that
should any one go into New Haven
store and buy 1t entire, the proprietor
would ask, Anything else to-day~
Mrs. Murphy-'T say, Pat, what
would yez do II the ould house would
tumble on yez ard crush yez to death2'
Pat-"Faix, Pdy fly for me loile."
A Denver paper devotes twenty -four
columns of space to negro murdered
who was hanged there last week. The
Sheriff let him of with single line.
Easy and pleasing lessons in pune
tuation-"Dear aunt, l should Ger.
tainly have been with you had been
well; even now l am in great pair
while write with my nose"
A Lynn man who saw country
board advertised by a Maine farmer
wrote to him, inquiring "what kint
of q table he SET" The answer came
promptly-"a mahogany extension.
A betting man sat and watched will
interest and excitement the perpetra
ton ola violin and piano duet. "a
dead heat, by Jove" he exclaimed, al
both instruments wound up at the
same time.
After all, some of our proverbs are
pretty correct TT is better to make
hay when the sun Shines" 1t would
he very awkward going about aftel
dark trying 10 hold candle and swing
a scythe at the same time.
| Alpine tourist to guide-If yor
were to see me fall down this frightfu
precipice it would give you a grea
shock, would it notP' Guide-"No
at all, have collected my fee of yor
in advance"
"Yes, l am opposed to girls margin
furriners," said old Mrs. Sipes. Pm
just that opposed to it that If my girl
can't marry people of their own Sc,
they needn't marry at all, and that
all about it."
1t was summer; and Long Branch
He came there; we met. He wa
handsome and hasty, and l a coquette
He proposed; l refused him. l love,
him. But then, thought-don' yo
see?-he would ask me again. But h
didn't.
He was a Hebrew candidate, an
addressing his constituents, com
menced, "Circumstanced as / am
when a voice from the crowd. by wa
of encouragement, shouted, "All righ'
circumcised as you are, get along, oil
man."
Outside q miners tent in Idaho
red-shirted man was looking for hi
TIN cup. Not finding it, he observed
"Some internal thief has stolen IN
: cup" Then, thrusting his head int
the tent, he asked: ANY of you ger
tlemcn got it?"
= Laura" said Mrs. Parvenu. on th
hotel piazza, to her daughter, "Laur,
go and tell the leader OF them orche,
tras to play that sympathy from Met
dlejOhn' over again. It's such a
r awful favorite of mine and your fail
. er's, tool"
"But where are the miner" was tn
text taken by a Brooklyn minister las
, Sunday. The chances are, dear brotf
!. err, that while you were propoundin
the earnest question they were out
!, some fiat and open field trying to wa
some other nine.
A little bit of girl living near or
of the cities ran to her mother frol
/ the roadside with some early sprin
blooms in her hands, and full Of ii
4 outside glow, exclaimed: 30, mamml
: how nice it is 10 live where sonebod
! doesn't own everything"
A lady uptown painted a plaque i
. the most exquisite manner and e.
pressed it to a friend. Soon after
note of acknowledgment came,
which the lady stated that ''It is alt
gether too nice to use every day, so
only use it for a bread plate when "
7 have com any"
! A lady visiting Mrs. Peterby aske
s her daughter Mamie-''How are yG
coming on with your music?" "Ol
|, first rate replied Mamie. "Makin
!; much progress?" Lots of it. A te
s months ago [ couldn't keep up wit
!. the teacher and now she can't keep u
with me-"
"Where do flies come from?' quer,
lousy demands old Mr.. Gunnybag'
waving his hands trantically over h
tormented head. "That isn't the que
tion," replied his equally tormente
partner: "when are they going bac
. again, that's what I am very anxior
: to know"
1T Is a very singular thing" said