The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-03-12
WIT AND WISDOM.

Prof Baird says there is nothing to prevent q
fish from living indefinitely, as ii has no period of
thority likewise for saying that carp have at
tained an age of 200 years. He also says that
within nifty years PIKE was ving IN aussa
the fifteenth century. Probably some persons
will doubt what is said by Prof, Baird about the
age a fish can attain. If they do, they are simply
doubling the best known authority on fish. The
Russian minister says that in the royal aquarl-
ums in St. Petersburg there are fish today that
have been known by the records to have been in
them lao years. Some of them are, he says over
five times as large as when they were captured,
while others have not grown an inch in length. An
attache of the Chinese Legation corroborates this
statement. He says there are sacred fish kept in
some of the palaces in China that are even older
than any of those in Russia. Goldhshes nave been
known to have belonged to one family in this
country fer over fifty years.
Ny friend, look here you know how weak and
nervous your wife is, and you know that Carter's
Iron Pills, will relieve her. now why not be fair
about it and buy her box?
Bagley-Excuse me, but must leave you.
De Guy-What Is your hurry?
Bagley-The bells are calling me to church ana
De Guy OBTAINING hln)-see here, you are 60
ing to be taken in as | was last Sunday-The
plainest lot of girls ever saw-not single belle
among them.
opNSAAS ASA 'tA5
then Carters Little Liver Pills are specific for
sick headache, and every woman should know
shis. Only one pill dose.
First train roberts this the train we are walt
Second train robber-No, this only carries
couple of millions in gold to the San francisco
mint. 1t is theneXt train.
First train robber-What's on the next train?
Second train robber-A sleeping car porter with
a xxhN WOO earnings nOpEpf
Colgans Taffy Tolu clears the voice. All
speakers and singers are beginning to use it,
Mother-Yes, poor little Bobby has been sick
for nearly week now.
Vsitor-Poor little chap!
Mother-I think sick child is so pathetic. l
cannot treat him with too much kindness.
Bobby (convalescent)- don't treat me with
Kindness, ma.
Bobby-No, you treat me with castor oil an mo-
lasses.
NJ L. Scranton, Pa, Blair, Alderman 9th Ward,
stated Nov. o. SO: He had used Dr. Thomas
Eclectric Oil for sprains, burns, cuts, bruises and
rheumatism. Cured every time.
"As for me / hope to be cremated." made that
remark to my pastor once, who said, with what he
seemed to think was an impressive manner:
II wouldn't worry about that, II L mad your
chances"
''We have a rapidly increasing sale of Athlopho
ros which is giving excellent satisfaction to our
customers" Billiard & Foster, druggists say Of
their trade in the great rheumatism and neuralgia
cure, in and around Keene N. H.
''Gran'ma," said boy of nine years, chow old
are yOu?"
about sxty-siX," replied his grandmother
you'll die soon, won't you, grandma?"
"Yes, dear, expect to-"
And when die, granma, can be buried side
of you?'
Eyes dear" she said, as her heart warmed
toward the little one, whom she folded closer in
'Gran'ma,p softly whispered the little rascal,
'gimme ten cents"