The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1886-11-18
How Cincinnatus Received tho
News.

How Cincinnatus Received tho
News.
From tho Texas Siitings.
When the Roman Senate elected To-
cius Quintus Cincinnatus Consul by q
handsome plurality, Notwithstanding
the Tammany detection and the fact
that q Prohibition candidate was
sprung on them Mt the last moment,
they appointed n committee to visit
the noble Roman on his farm and an
nouncc to him his election.
They found him engaged in doing his
springploughing. AS they approached
with all the dignity they could com.
mand while stumbinga across ploughed
land in their long togas, he stopped
his oxen to ascertain who they were
and what they wanted.
Most noble Roman" said the
chairman OF the committee, in that
deep sonorous tone suited TO the oc.
casion. I'VE are here"
80 see, said IMcius Quintus, eye
ing them suspciousiy. but signed
contract for some ol,hose patent bee
hives last summer and found it was u
note for $500. that | had TO pay AZ
the bank. You can't pi"y the green
game Oh me twice
You mistake our mission altogeth-
or" said the chairman, with offended
dignity, 1--WE are"
"Lightningrod men, perhaps. But
| don't want any lightnlng-rods, nuth'
er."
"Deign, most noble Cincinnatus, to
give me your attention for few brief
moments
well, hurry up, old boss, and make
it short, for I'm busy's II mules tail
in liy time" and he sat down on hls
plough. beam, tanning himself with an
old straw hat.
"rhe Republic is in danger" he
began, reading from long rol! o! Ms
chat he produced.
That sounds sort o. familiar.
Nuther lection comm on, reckon.
You're goingto sound the tocsin, ain =
ye? And mabbe you'll wave the
bloody shirt"
The Roman Senate. realizing the
eSi-ency OF the situation, has elected
you-"
III there nin't them pe..y colts in
MY garden patch again" cried CIn-
cnnntus, springiny to his feet. "Whoa
,here Git out o. that" he yelled, as
he crHsped his oX.sad aud started
across the field to drive them out.
When he returned he WIS persp,ring
and swearing like a Roman trooper.
"Blankety blank them blank colts, " he
,'rjel, they'll jump any irnca tint
w.Is ever made. Say, yuu 'r''erS. on
io"'t happen 10 know n POKE that
keep colts from jumping, do ye"
The city which RomuIuS founded, y
said the chairman, scarcely needing
the interruption, in casting abon'
Tor competent commander, every
way adequate to the emergency that
has ovcreaken us, the eyes OF the SEN
ate have turned toward you"
SHAW! you don't say!" ...
"Your steadlast championship OF
rhe rights OF labor, your position on
the silver question, your uncompro'
missing opposition to the Chinese, your
refusal TO avail yourself OF the frank
ing privilege, and your scorn;ul relec'
ton of q railroad pass whllea member
OF your town council. the countenance
that you gave TO the early closing
movement. your defiance on tile fish
erv QlIps ion, NOUr-"
Come now boys, let up 49, ..I....
you refused to have Your portrait
and biography published in a book OF
Eminent Men, your services ~ n
volunteer fireman, the ability youdis'
played as captain 81 u mlil'
Tia company, your having 1nev-
er written communications to
the papers, or shown yourself
in an open hack in Decoration Day
professions, your refusal to allow
you ographs to beplaeed on sale,
your never sending proof slips OF your
speeches to tn, daily journals, never
making false return to the tax as
SCISSOR, or wearing polnted'toed shoes,
parting your hair III the middle, or
saying chestnut nul above all yonr
invar.ablc habit OF going TO ths polls
and voting the Old ticket without Il
scratch, have induced the Senate to
call YOU to the highest Office in their
gift. he Roman Consulship!"
Cincinnatus was so overcome by this
time that he could only press the
speakers hand silently and lead
the way to the house, where he tapped
u fresh barrel of cider and invited
them all to Join him in n drink.