davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
~
Gems Most A La Mode

Personal sdornments in silver never at
tanned to so high o degree OF perfection as
at the present time. Both at home and
abroad silver jewelrY is the correct kind to
associate with walking suite, travelling cos
tunes aud seaside dresses.
Among the new things most attractive
is the moenstone jswelry, which consist Of
lace pins aud brooches, bonnet pins, cuff
buttons and other articles in bright and
oxidized silver set with moonstones.
Some Of these are in natural colors,
others are tinted, some are plain and Others
carved. This style will receive high favor.
as the silver settings are newer than gold
ones, and considered quite chic, While
the mooustone is also novel. -.
Lace pins and brooches, made OF gold,
silver and copper combined, in unique de-
signs in rocoeo effects, are very stylish.
Some of these pins bear enameled plaques.
Another old f~svorite, but still popular, IS
the clover leaf pin in ensmeled silver.
This is tinted in its natural green hue. toll
owing the size and form correctly. Ii 10
an admirable example of fine enameled
~jewelry.
Another odd AID pretty pin ia one simG'
la,ing an antique bracket, from which
swings q littls silver lantern with moon
stone sidelights. There are silver Hover
Plus set with fancy stones and a double
bow pin ensmeled to represent figured rib
bon.
Silver watches show etched or euameled
cases, aud another new style equally stIrac,
tive is the watch case decorated with raised
wire work. 10 this work the surface is
traced gold and platins wires set with small
stones.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
A QUEER PROPOSAL.

An Authentic Letter Written by n West
Virginia Boy to HIS Sweetheart.
To The Editor Of the Sunday RegiSta.
The following is an authentic copy Of O
letter written By g West Virginia young
man to his lady love, in which be proposes
marriage:
Deal Miss -;
"a voice from i.olatioB,"
To speak in vindicatlOh
And save me IRON your condemnation,
For my neglected obligation.
Thus | apologize for not answering your
latter long ago. But
Ii was a full determination
To make another alteration,
In my present situation,
That caused Iue meditation.
And | have no doubt that you are glad
of the delay
Because that little vacation
May suit your inclination,
And allow your Imagination
To turn In detestAtiOn
For my violation
Of such obligation.
Still, | beg your pardon and will promise
10 the future
To approve my appreciation
OF 30 friendly a relation,
As we hold in combination,
With all amelioratiOni
And show in moderation
My poetic inclination.
Should | continue mIcl further in my
behalf, tie apology will be more disagree.
able than the ofiense.
But on an anbulAtion,
had In contemplation
To brIng to tgbjtga1tGn
certain Animation
hold in yeneration,
For female population.
That verse needs no apology, and shall
make none.
II Il most above my station
To speak with rhapsodization,
But / have proud expectation
OF being 10 the combination,
On my future rehabilitation,
With one such alteration.
If YOU will have q little more patience
with me. | will Econ reach the point and
all will be clear ss sunlight.
Ineed a little preparation
TO obtain 4 habitafiep
To insure naI gallon
And offer TO your consideration,
This wonderful mystihcatlon
OF souls iut0xicabon
Under Cupid's "subprnation."
will now await Jour answer, and close
with
And this my declaration
Bears its own explanation;
With hearts palpitGtion,
Hcurs in ezPeetz'ioa.
The reply to this letter was in the good
old affirmative, "yes'i but was written il
romantic prose.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

Never mind the horn less you kin put til.
jug back where you gotit
THAT MADE THE toys LAUGR
every time. Speakin' o this puts me il
mind o ths temperance feeln TIT Ike
Mason shoWd in the toast that he writ fol-
bis boat, the Rockin' Jimmy. This was
about the way il went:
"Here's 70 glorious cold water,
We eouldn { run a boat without her
"Thersswss 9 heap o solid tact in that
fer lack Of water on the canal, OWN 10 the
droughts that drop down on the boys now
and then, is q q sad blow on 'em. in n re
spect. In another respect, in the old times,
leastWays, lack o water didn't often keep
'em awake a. nights. When Captain Tom
Wood put the follsrin' sentiment on his
boat he teched the heart of every boat
man, an they'd g made him president if 1t
had been left to them. Low water in the
ditch an an empty Jug Ton writ, knocks
3 csnsllers Joy heels up There was q
heap o fact in that, too. an some other
boatman, butt can't tell his name jist now,
struck truth 'twixt wind an water when be
writ: "A dry summer makes the csnsller
q hummer.
Pete Hilfsrty made a big hit With his
boat, The Lovers Sigh, of Creek Locks,
when be writ right under the name his
honest opinion o bostiu' in the stsnzy:
There hain't no life like an able seaman,
It's better'n r~aftin, it's bettsr'n teamiH'.
THAT was q likely enough sentiment IN
them DAYS, but their hsin't no bostmen
ahoat on this canal to-day as would gree
TO it now. The boys used to have lots o
fun wit the cooks, when they didn't happen
10 be the wives o the captains, which they
were sometimes. If they wasn't they was
generally big, fat, good.natu'rd Irish wo
men, who didn't care much how much fun
wos made of EN-, but who, if any Of 'em
did care, wasn't Altered TO waltz in an
out a hull crew. member q boat
tha,..had this on her stern:
Beauty sn' the Beast,
Beauty missed the boat, but the cooks abOlrd.
Captain Bill Decker, who had married
widder, an as folks said, rather got the
worst end O. the bargain, kinder carried
out the truth of the Story By Paintin' 10
great irsy-red letters on the bow o. his
boat these here wsriu' words:
Mind YOUR ewes, boys: the cooks a wilder.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
Constitutional CataTh.

No single disease has entsIled more suffering or
hntened the breaking up Of the constitution than
CatarTh. The sense Of smell, Of taste, OF sight. OF
hesrrg the human voice, mind one or more.
and sometimes all, yield 90 Its destructive inhu
ence. The poison II distributes throughout the
ystem attacks every vital force, aod breaks OPP the
most robust Of constitutions. Ignored. because
but little understood, by most phJncisps, i'm
potsDtly ks,aiIed by quacy spd cbariatans, those
suffering from Il have little hops 20 DO relieved Of
II this side Of the grave. II Is time, then. that the
popular treatment OF this teri lble dis ase by renIs-
dies within the reach Of all passed late bands
at once competent and Trustworthy. 1ss new and
hitherto ubtried pethaa adopted BY Dr. saniord
In the preparation OF his RADICAL CuRE has Won
the hearty approval OF Thousands. IL 10 instan
tAneous In ahording relief IN all head colds, EIeex
ing. suU fHing and obsiruc4d nreaihirg. and rap
idly removes the most oppressive sjaptons, cles.-
ins the head, sveetsnipg the breath, Iespo' !.ag the
sepsss OF smell, taste cGd hearing, ana nsutraliE-
ing the csnstituilonal tendency Of the diseas 10
ward, lhe lungs, liver and kidaeys.
sASI0RD's RADIO Al CURE consist, OF one bottle
Of the RADICAL CURE, one boz Of Catarrhal
SOLVENT, and 40 lnrsoyED IsHALKRi price. 81.
PoTTEs DIUs a CLINICAL Co, BosroS.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
II affords me pleasure

It affords me pleasure 10 assure you that af-
ter using DIR. G.. Mclane's Celebrated Liver
Pills for more than twenty years In my family.
that l regard them as being superior TO any ,
had them constantly and had TO try others AMI
| have tried a good variety, but I have never
had any TO act so promptly. prontabiy, ana
nicely as MeLane's. have used them myself.
wife, and children, with the most gratifying re
suits. For children. having used them on my
W with such easy and happy effect, l would
recommend them TO one and 10 all. These
pills do the work-do II promptly. do tt well.
and leave no III effects behind. As a bile re-
mover. rs u liver corrcctor,. rs n ~torcrunner
preparing the system for Quinine, there IN no
pill or medicine equal 10 DR.. {. McLane's Cele-
brated Liver Pills. expect to use them as
Yours truly, L. II. GILES.
Pastor NJ. l.. Church South, Myers station,
Tampa District, Florida Conference.
TENIsriGo, Canada West. Ont
| MEssRs. FLEMING Bros
sirs:-Your pills came all right, and ] can say
they are a good bilious pill. i have used n
great many pills, but | can say DIR. G. Me-
| Lanes Pills. manufactured by Fleming Bros.
are genuine. and gentlcmen you have my thanks
IN sending. gave some OF those pills 70 my
neighbors for a trial. one Of my ncighbors
got three pills. He said they dill help him. lie
felt the next day like n new man, lie wishes
me 10 send for ftty cents worth for him. so.
gentlemen. | will do all ! can 10 introduce Dr.
{. McI.aue's Liver Pills, manufactured By
| Fleming Brothers. Yours with respect,
Wa. II. DUGAN.
FLEMING Bros.
Dear Sirs Enclosed you will ind ono dollar
for which You will please send me more Of your
Dr. &. acLane's liver Pills. trust you have
received the pay for the last two boxes ] ORDER
| ell and received. would only say. they have
done me more good than | could express. !
feel much better now than ! have Tor two
years past, Yours truly,
REV. PHIL SPAETH,
West Sandlake. N. Y.
AVOID SOUNTERFEITsi Send us sc
and we viii send you by return mail n box OF
! the genuine DR.. &. MclIine's Celebrated Live.
Pills and eight handsome cards,
FLEMING BROS. PttSburg. Ia
For Saio by retail druggists. Be
sure tho McLano's Pill, you buy AZ
mado mt Pittsburgh, PA. Tho ooun-
tcrfoits aro made Mt St. Louis, bo.
and Wheeling, w. Va
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
The World. 1855 Coinage

The Worlds 1880
Exchange.
The worlds gross gold coinage for 1885
was, in round numbers, S72. SOC, 900; Of
silver, s71.8O0.o0 OF the gold, S37 800.
600 was coioed uy Great Britain aud Der
colonies, aud s25, 200 900 By tie r-Ged
States. OF the silver, Great pr.,tsip, Aus
tralis Hnd India cDi--fsd s33.O O0, coo and
the United si..es s29, 900, COO. In adj
non ~ y these amounts. stamped ingots o.
Goth metals were issued from ysrioui
mints.
This pakes .se increase Of the gold
coiasss Of the world. for 1885. about 2 PEI
cent, and of the silver between 2 and
per cent. The gold coinage OF the world
is nov estimated at 8 250, ,O00. ant
the silver. including token circulation. q
81, 1885, 600, 600.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
Polite Apology.

az Judge.

C,s,ousr-Was that SEbonste Of soda
vop ave me about ten minutes sgofl!
Dtng clerk docking "a. a bottle)-Why,
NO how stupid OF me- II va s~trychnine
m change the bottlss back again. D 1
think the mistake wiz GOt eeens again
Good day, sir.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
No. 1876 ~-Decapitation.
No. l61.-A Disagreeable Road.

l am the way Of pain; but when | say
/ am IN a region very far away;
You will moi dread me, III an kful your abode
Is nowhere near 80 sorrUwful q road;
For none would wish 10 pass DER me and wait
To enter In the feirfnl Judgment Gate,
Zen though upon that consscrated ground
The Holy Virgins place OF birth were found.
Traditions gloom cluster round my name,
That has in Romish ChurchiInsavory fame.
N~ELsoSIAN.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
An Hour.
E-s pU-Hr
The Upright Servant

RdBblT.
Mrs. Montsgus-Why, Mary Ann, what
!. vour reason for leaving rs so suddenly
Don't you like the placer
Nsry Auu-Yes, nam, the place is very
well aud yo1 do your best; but your dresses
are a miserable AZ for me, snd so L Jus'
mode up my mind to leave tSSs dsy.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
BILL NYE
Dsvotss Himself to Scientific Dis
cOvsry.

An Unselfsh Love for Cash His lnspira-
tion--.The Utter UnreliabiIity of New
Years Comets---A Fine Bob TAIL
ed Comet Captured at Last,
But Not Deemed Worthy
to Bear the Name
Of its Oiscoyerer.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
HuSan Nature

BErliastsa FS PrsS&.
ut is always = pleasure to correct q mis-
take" says an exchange. Vel. yes
when the mistake is somebody else's.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
Ths minister ReOuksd.

IUINVVV WV
Alitls girl, syears old. attended CHURCH
for the 6rst time with Der older sister.
Daring the sermon she heard the minister
mention the name of God several tues,
AMI acted as IL she knew he was doing
something wrong. At last Shs could stand
Il 70 longer. The next time be ssid 1t she
ros. M in the seat, and pointing the club
bv finger at him. she said. IN impressive
tones, Man, top your sWesrin'F'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

No. l6S.-An Anagram.

The Il mes may Si'tr red ruin round
Till Of your homes naught can be found
Save ashes and debris
Insure with us At trifing cost,
You'll then he paid for what is lost,
| give my guarantee.
Those who insure will take this way,
Ard keeper urging day by day
To take a policy.
lis policy for them, no doubt,
TO have us hand our money out;
For II, 1t may o be.
N~RLsOSiAS.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20


No. 16o.-A Wondrous Mixture.
may be called a piece OF ground.
Or as wasted liquor may be found;
I'm Il bog, a marsh a fen;
Of strikes OF oyster. | am ten;
I'm a cosmetic, AID msy lie
An arm belonging 10 the sea.
! have hostility 10 dirt;
I'm refuse food, fermented wort.
And surely 'twould not I've amits
To say | am a dentrifCe.
BY those whose Scalps are getting bare,
I'm used 10 ~reuovate the hair.
I'm a thin coat, and every rover
Knows I'm a portion Of his oar.
az rivers I'm the %shalloRest part
I'm used in the distilliGg art;
MolasSeS, water, scummings, durderl
Such n mixture makes one wonder.
NKLsOSIAN.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
Louisiana State Lottery Cvmpssy.
MA1M@-
.|Sh~<

-
We ths undentsnsd Banks and Asnhsn vim ~
all Prizes drawn In Tho iouisfspa Btsts lottSrS
which may bs prsssnted Al our ooan'en.
j. II. O6LKsBY, Pres Louisisna Natl Heuk.
J. w. KILBkEfH, PnssL stste nsiissal Haak.
A. BALDWIN, Prs. Hss Orleans HsfI Bah.
fnsupenssd IN is9 ar = jean b. IL Laetss.
tuIs f3 k1uesttond and Ckarttab.s p~unsaD-vfth
Q capital Of q ,eGJo0o-to vhioh 0 rsssrW I'm q
over 0S0,oDo haa unos beru sddsA.
By m overuhstInfnG popoisx vote 10 fnnnchHos
sn made Q pan Of the pfo4nt Bsts csssnts1zoa
sdqptsd Dsoenbs1 n. A. .. isS.
The only LOtt1T sy6 vshd O tnl eaAouod -
the people Of any essa
IL nevu scales ~ Dostponfs.
It's Grsnd saa9ls Number Dsav1nes tsko
plsos nsstAly, and the Exusss6inaSy Dssv1sO
S~<saisriy syefy thrss montts tastssI Of BsnL as
nnally q berstofere, beSisning Mach, feS.
A splendid opportunity 70 Win . tortsns. Bsvsafh
Grind Drssfns. Ca G.in ~ aeAsny q Mssk,
Hsv Oriesrs, Tuesday, JujJ IS, 1885,
I94th hsntAiy D1sfnx
CAPITAL PRIZE, S7Syo0A.
100, 900 1iekstx a Ffvs Dollars Eaeh. YY<afsrs
N fhths In pfoporttea.
LEI OF PufD
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
FASHIONABLE FREAKS.
Women of the World wash Their Faces
Again.

Women OF the World wash Their Faces
Again.
A new theory has been started Witn re
gard to the use of soap on the lace To
men who for years have been carefni o.
their comolexion would never under any
circumstance wash the face in soap, as II
WAS said to roughen and coarsen
the skin. Now, this idea Is ex
ploded, and q WelltknoWn Pnysi
Clam recommends his woman patients to
use it freely every day, lstheriDg the sKln
we'll. OF course, q fine, oily and pure soap
is most desirous. This being secured, ne
states that none but the most beneficial re
suits will be affected by bis method OF I'M
proving the skin. He holds, with con
siderable plausibility, that the pores OF the
face become as much clogged BY grease
and dirt as the hands or any other Porno9
of the body. And if soap is considered
q necessary purifier in the ostn'
its needs must be felt equally on the face
By an abundant and regular lstheriug the
facial pores, he claims, are kept open Clean
free from the clogging matter that pro
QQCe8 uQelgnI1 OtoSA hOoNSi
and q pure, healthy, fresh and bright
err complexion is the resultant. Not mine
ing matters he says that the trouble with
most women who have ssllow, pasty SKINS
ia that from years end to years end they
never have q really clean face.
An article published in Good House
keeping says: Hands kept dirty are never
smooth and white. Absolute cleanliness is
Many people who do not work
seldom wash their hands. The days &C
cumulstion of dirt is allowed to remain on
the hands all night. Upon rising the hands
ole washed in cold water; then the posses
sor wonders why when she does no work
her hands do not look any better. The
hands and face should always be washed
n warm soap suds before going to bed
White sosps are safest. Highly scented
and colored soaps are almost inva.
r:abiy made from rancid and ill,smeling
fats. After drying them thoroughly use a
few drops OF mixed glyceriRe and camphor,
which the druggist can prepare tor you
Drop into the palm of your hands ana rub
we'll, and this will be all that will be nee
essary to show decided improvement
When you rise in the morning do not use
sosp on yourfsce, but battle it we'll in warm
Do the soap scrubbing only at bed
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
KIDNEY PAINS

49, And that weary, hieisss ali-zope. cen
sstion ever present With those OF In
ed kidneys, weak back and loios,
~ aching hips and ddes, over sorksd OF
worn ouG by dbease, debility or disnpstiop. are re-
llsvtd In one minu ute aud speedily cured by the
Caticura Anti Pain PIasteP,a nsv. original,
elegant and iniallibls antidots 20 rain and nfau-
msiion. At ali druggists, 2e kEs fr 800; or
Of Potter Drug Co., E.stsn.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
Horrid Man.

Man bushes from guilt woman from in
noesnce-sopeimes.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
SPHINX KNOTS.

Amy communications for this department shout,
be addressed to E. r. ~CHADBouRS, Lewistour
Maine.l
No. 165.-A Sentinel of the Centuries.
Back among the misty ages,
When young time forgot to trace
Artists names upon his pages,
grew up a thing OF grace,
He whose mandate gave me being,
Babe me bear his royal name;
In his lofty pride decreeing
Ne n witness of his fame.
Centuries that king had slumbered,
When . hero captured me,
And, among his trophies numbered,
Bore me 10 the distant SEA
Dim had grown my ancient story
Now i bore another name,
And = queenly msiden's glory
have handed down TO lame.
Long the hero and the maiden
Each in tragic deaths have slept;
And old histories are laden
with their deeds and splendor YET.
Now n prince Ia. babe me wander
To . lar OF foreign land;
Strangers gaze on me aed ponder
Whose might he the artists hand.
Ie who for the nameless sorrow,
Like his late your own may be.
Some unmindful, heeting morrow
May lose your Identity. IN
-.
No. 1876 -Decapitation.
we a whimsical riddle to tell you about,
OF one Of those hard ones mo man can lind out -
Ike the lecture once heard Of, Mistakes Of Tom
Moody
I has numerous heads, with but little OF body.
'or sake OF convenience Just call the word me"
md bnlg on your guillotine sdHJ mereL.
'eheAd me, the ocean Is moved from Its bed,
reunited 4 price is put on my head.
lrop that in the basket; behead me onoe more,
he price still continues As high As beiere;
)on't stop for such trihes, behead me agaiu.
his time all that's left Is q species Of grain.
stop! II you do IL again | shall freeze!
10 pity: I'm helpless! my last head you seize;
m reduced TO a remnant, but yet II you please
Notwithstanding such treatment,
I'll live on with ease.
HAPPY THOUGHT.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

tsu Pnsa, sosununs S-------~--~
A-ppuesasa ~ nts ~ ases sAslA - nsls0ly
10 furtSs i-sisrsSaes sdss sisasiy, evfng MI
s6ArsGa PO0xAL nOTAz, Expgoo heDey d.
Is0 o. HeV Yexk kxehanes IN a61ley h1A,
Cu1xasy WHYrD(s t ~ sEIecsss 49,
~ a. DAOPnm,
usv 0sSsaass EA-s
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
No. l70.-A Charade.

Two streams their continent waves unite
10 show what poets sing or write.
The first In fair Italia trace;
The last Ia Germany finds place.
J. X. l.. BAKER.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
No.

No. 11I.-Abbreviation.
NY lass and my lad
They are 1 0t 40 very bad;
Yet nickname trcm, add the Nick,
BY an photographic trick,
Transforms them, without mercy.
by a spell rs strange as Circe,
To a Epecter, ghost OF sheOl,
Apparition, thing unreal
J. X. /. BAKER.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

l5l-SO-thing.
Reconsideration.
1871. Live, evil, Levi. vile. 2. thun, much
3. Rat, tar. I. Dare, read.
lG-Bey, 0 hey.
I5-The letter T..
I56-The addition Of the letter . In the proper
places makes the lines read:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

Answers will he published in two weeks.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

The May Award.

The best lot OF answers to the sphinx Knots
of May ranking at about 81 per cent OF the whole
was furnished Ivy A. II. g., Wellsburg, to whom,
the prize book Is awarded.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

lj7-A clock at five minutts before eleven. !
The hour aud minute hands. 2 Near II o'clock
3. The dial I Minute marks. .. The main spring
6 The 100 of the dial. I MI uwelvel. 6 TIT
striking wire .. The warning click five minute
before striking. 10. MI. II. Striking u. II 1h'
minute hand. - The inner circuit made by thu
hour hand. Il The numbers or figures on th,
dial. I5. striking Y. 10. MI.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

Amy communications for this department should
be addressed to E. R. ~CHADBouRS, Lewistoun
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20

ETbs reply to this letter was in the good
old affirmative, yea but was written in
romantic prose.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-04-03

In a ballroom: Mrs. Brazen-"Ah,
Dr. Phillsbury, see you are looking at
my new dress. 1t is very lownecked, |
know; but really what do you think of
it?" "Pheumonia, madam, Pneumonia -
There is man in Philadelphia so
mean that when asked to join in sing
ing "Old Hundred" churns off Ninety
and Nine" instead. lie says he has
got to make one per cent, anyway, these
hard times.
A slight cold often proves the fore
running of a complaint which may be
fatal. Avoid this result by taking Aver S
Cherry Pectoral, the best remedy for
colds, coughs, and all throat and lung
diseases.
There is nothing like DIR. Thomas
Eclectric Oil to quickly cure a cold or
relieve hoarseness. "Written by Mrs.
NJ. j. Fellows, Burr Oak, St. Joseph
Co., Mich.
Boston lady Ito policeman l-"Why
did you shoot that poor little dog? Was
he disordered in intellect and beside
himself with violent eXcitement?'
Policeman-"No, mum. That dog was
mad"
Someone says that the Mormons art
towards and wouldn't fight. All the
same, they are the only people in thi,
country who have the Spartan courage
to marry a dozen of wives in a thret
years inning.
Gospel truth the purest, best anC
J strongest on earth is the Hop Plaster
Sure cure.
-"Good morning, Mrs. Gilligan
How is Patrick this morningP" "Sure
he's no better, sir" "Why don't yol
send him to the hospital to be treated?'
"To be treated is it? Faith, an it's til,
delarium trimmins he has already"
Mons. Pasteur is in favor of tn
compulsory incubation of all dogs.
would also be a good idea to compel tn
ino ,ulation of all married men. Tha
would greatly please the wives of thos
husbands who go mad so often while a
hOmA