Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-09
BRIGHT BITS.

SOME fireman, somewhere, evidently smit-
ten with somebody. gave the following toast:
cupid and his torch, the only incendlary
tEat can kindle fame which the engines
cannot Quench."
DOES that rock hurt you much. Pat?" in
CURED sympathizer of sn freshman whose
1901 was imprisoned un Ter rock.
NO. Il don't hurt me a Bit" groaned Pat,
tits me foot that hurts me-
Ma" said Jennie Parvenu. Laura Leak
has taken the VEIL"
my Goodnessr' exclaimed ma. ''you don't
say so! It's just awful when the nice young
Iadles steal just like the bank cashiers"
HosTEss-Wnat has become of Sandy
Smlth. VINO stood so high in your class?
time"
Hes in the ministry then?'
mo: In a restaurant."-ErchGn9
THE infant King of Spain has received
Inree orders from the King OF Portugal"
Iney are not described, but from experience
we presume that they were Take your
thumb out of your mouth" stop drooling"
and keep your fists out Of your eyes" '-Puck.
EXCITED sister-I with I was June bug.
Parson-W hafOr, Sister SNOWFALL?
Slster-So could fly ter der heabenly man
slons.
Parson-Foo, niggah. woodpecker ketch
yer beIoah you gifts Outen de woods.-7e'cdS
SiftiHps.
CUsToMER-How's this? You charge me &C..
pound for sugar
Grocer-lts worth that, isn't it?
Customer-fes; but you say on that placard
"Sugar Way Down"
Grocer-And so it ia, sir. l keep it in the
cellar now.-PhiLddelOhiI can
Much BETTEB.-''Do you think Lucie will
succeed in winning AlgernOn" asked the
mo, indeed" replied Amy; "she hasn't a
ghost of a show"
My dear" protested the high school girl.
please don't use such horrid slang as ghost
OF snow say 'apparition of an exhibition &"
lid Bits.
A BOSTON LADY. who with her little boy
recently returned from visit TO San Fran
CISCO. stopped over night at the Palmer House,
Chicago.
Now remem Der, Waldo" she said. az they
seated themselves at the dinner table, you
are not TO say Pork and beans but Beans
and pork Never forget, my son, that you
are Bostonese. "-Ne30 York Sun.
MRS. MUsHBY-I met Mrs. Motherwell this
afternoon. What a tedious thing she is (!
Forever talking about that baby. you know
Martha-But aunt-now don't be crOss; did
1t ever occur to you that Mrs. MOtherwell
might think you grain tiresome when you
get talking about Rover;
Mrs. Mushby-Thats an entirely different
ing. A dog is so interesting, you know
BOStJzs Post.
SUMNER soJoURNER to SARATOGA tradesman
what on earth do You do here all winter
aIler rODDlng visitors during the summer
months? | should think you would die from
want of excitement.
Saratoga tradesman-Oh, no; we manage
to keep things fairly alive after you city folks
get away from us.
~ GU do, Ell? And how2r
by robbing one another. "-Loa0eU Citisen.
"DoEs your wife ever pay you any compli-
ments?' asked Frederick Jimson of his friend
Benderly.
Never" replied Beuderly.
well. mine does. she flatters me-"
"Often?"
80, YES, frequently particularly in winter
replied Frederick.
Why does she taffy you so mucn in win
Whenever the coal needs replenishIng she
points to the fireplace and says: Frederick,
the CRATE "-ZesaS Sitting.
"ASD you say you were not discharged
from your last place." said Mrs. Crimson
beak, questioning candidate for the Office OF
cook.
mo mum. left, num-"
''How long were you in your last placeP'
Five years, num-"
And why cid you leaveP
II was gettin' too fat, num-"
'Well?"
80, sure, couldn't wear the missus' dresses
any more and | had to stay home from the
balls. thought, mum. it was tonne to make
a change. - Y0RkefS Statesman.