Wichita eagle., 1886-09-10

smoke she pulled out each article and
thrus. it under my nose. They were admir-
ably arranged for cooking, but had no ap-
pearance of having ever been near fire.
Possibly suggested, ''Trotter, you don't
quite understand the stove"
"Maybe not, and don't want tt" retorted
orr Infatuated domestic eff you think you
can do better, you're welcome to try. I've
had nv whack! I'd sell the drafted thing for
old iron, if had my way"
"Trotter,n said with all the dignity that
could command, ''this is very expensive
stove, q most expensive stove" Il didn't know
whether it was or not, but l felt it was wise
to say so), land is warranted to cook dinner
for fifteen persons My landlord told me so,
and he is most respectable man"
"Then the landlord had better come and
cook the dinner hisself," retorted Trotter.
I took no notice of the interruption. 'You
have probably been accustomed to the old
fashioned open ranges, Trotter, and OF course
YOU can't be expected to understand of-hand
all the ms and outs of high-class affair like
this. So don't distress yourself; but put on
your bonnet you had better wash your face
first, by the way, and fetch pound OF ham
and beef from the cookshop round the corner.
Mr.. Tidd and will make shift with that for
this one evening; and tomorrow will get
Mr. Jawker to come and explain matters to
us, and then you will get on like house on
fire."
"You amt likely to have any house on fire
with that stove," replid Trotter, shaking her
head at it maliciously, as though Il at summed
I'D the measure of its iniquities. But my
calmness had it's effect upon her, and about
@ $50 md cof in of
luxurious banquet we had anticipated, to a
plate of ham and beef from the cook shop.
Trotter was with difficulty dissuaded from
packing up her boxes and departing at once,
but finally agreed to wait the result OF the
visit of our landlord, to whom sent press
ing letter the Same evening.
The next morning Mr.. Jawker arrived
He was little man with big head, and a
figure which was presumptive evidence OF the
satisfactory performance of the kitchen range
wherever he resided, and began to be more
hopeful. He carried under his arm an oblong
parcel, done up in brown paper.
"a little difficulty with the Treasure eh!'
he said, carefully depositing his hat on the
dresser, and beaming affectionately on the
stove through his spectacles. "Ah, well, well
soon set that right. Finest range in London!
I've brought you the dripping PAN"
''The what?' I inquired. I had heard OF
dripping pans, but hadn't the faintest idea
what they were. Tidd, arrayed in fiowery
dressing gown and a magnifcently en-
broidered smoking cap, tried to look if as he
knew. but it was failure. Meanwhile Mr..
Jawker had begun to unite his parcel
1.-THE dripping pan! why, of course, the tin
affair that you put under the meat Sarah
herer-(which my name is Mary Ham,
haughtily INTERCEPTED Trotter)-8knows all
about it; but this dripping pan is a patent,
made specially to go with the Treasure It's
size too large for our present range, so
don't mind making you present of it. Look
here, dodgy arrangement underneath to hold
water. Without water, and ventilator shut,
oven only bakes. With water, and ventilator
open, oven roasts Joint done to a turn,
delicious brown gravy in it, beautiful" And
Mr.. Jawker smacked his lips lovingly at the
recollection. "Finest stove in London.
assure YOU Only wish I'd got i. in my new
diggings. The range there isn't patch upor
this one"
mo doubt the stove is an excellent one,
Mr.. Jawker, replied. 'But we can't get it
to cook at all"
"Not-cook = at all.' calculated Mr.
! Jawker. sThe Treasure range not cook
| Why-it'd cook-it'd cook-your grand
mother"
II have no desire to put it to that test"
replied, with dignity. II shall be quite con
tent if it will cook les of mutton But il
won't even burn"
''Not burn. The Treasure range not burn
Come, that's good one. Give me handful
of wood and some Goals, and Wen soon see il
| it won't burn"
The Goals and wood were produced, and
Mr. Jawker, turning back his shirt cuffs, pro
ceeded to lay and light the fire. don't pro
| fess to understand that sort of thing myself
but it struck NE that Mr. Jawker was moi
particularly expert, and l caught Trotter's
eve resting upon him with gaze of malig
nant satisfaction. said to myself: 1.-THE fire
won't burn and it didn't. 1t smoked like q
miniature volcano, but burn it wouldn't.
really felt for Jawker. He poked and he
| prodded; he opened first one valve and Their
another; then he shut them, and finally
knelt in front OF the fire and blew till the
smuts fell ''thick as leaves in Vallombrosa'
over his face and shirt front, and he looked
like one of those black and white dogs that
run after carriages; but all without avail
| Tidd, with his hands in his dressing gown
pockets, began unconsciously to whistle
cease, rude Boreas," but suddenly remem
bering himself, tried to change it into Ii
donna mobile" with scarcely satisfactory
effect I caught his eye, end saw that hs
| had come to the same conclusion as myself
viz, that Jawker didn't know bit more
how to make the stove burn than we did
But he was far too artful to say SO.
"Wants cleaning" he said, as he got up ant
busted the knees Of his trousers with hi.
northumberland "Flue's choked with
SCOT, that's what's the matter. I tell YOU
what, I'll send you my builder, Bigsby. HI
knows all about the Treasure he's repaired
it lots of times; I'll tell him to come and clear
it thoroughly, and just start it for you. Every
thing depends on good start. When you've
once made start you'll be all right, depend
upon it" Whereupon he made start him
self, and departed.
Tidd and l dined out that day Trottel
made shift, believe, to fry some eggs ant
bacon in the back kitchen, which, fortunately
did not possess high-claSs range
The next day the builder arrived; cautious
man, who wouldn't commit himself to any
thing To our various suggestions as to th,
cause of the non-success of the stove he merely
replied that he shouldn't wonder, but b,
'knowed it was rare good stove" He &C
cordingly took it carefully to pieces, and sub
sequently put it carefully together again, ex
tracing in the process, and distributing abou
the premises, SCOT enough, as it appeared t.
me, to load barge His only remark during
the process, intended apparently to be con
solatory, was that SCOT was rare good stuff
for KILN earywigs" On my putting it t
him where on earth we were to get earwig
enough to consume all that SCOT, he scratched
his head and candidly confessed that he didn'
know. Having completed the demolition ant