Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1886-07-13
SHE WANTED TO Hs REDUCED.
Turning Hopefully 10 u Tricycle. to Oct Ba'
Her Figure.

Turning Hopefully To u Tricycle. to- Oct Back
Her Figure.
From the \. Y. Tribune,
A young man went spinning up Riverside
Drive on wheel, swung to the left at the
semi-circle, made half half dozen sweep.
ing gyrations like buzAard settling on a
bough, and alighted astraddle of his back
bone-thst is, the backbone of tho wheel-so
near the retaining wall that little more mo-
mentum would have sent him headforemost
over it. II all looked graceful enough to in
different stocks and scions OF old families
rolling by In their victorias, carts and drags
but the young mans hair had hardly settled
back into place when a barouche stopped be-
side him and a sweet voice said
"will you be so good ~ To tell me, sir,
where can buy a tricycle.
The young man of the wheel gasped tw leo
when he brought his eyes to bear upon the
speaker. Age thiTty-tve, more or less. Ten
der-eyed blonde. Crimson checks. Dim
pies. Rolls under the chin. Diamonds.
Black satin. Yellow gloves. Bracelets.
French heels CoaChman. FoOtman. SKYE
terrier. Weight say 2i5 pounds.
Two hundred and forty-hve pounds spin
ming up Riverside on summer afternoon,
mercury leo degrees
"I want something 10 reduce me, con
tinued this fairy. Don't you think a tri.
cycle would reduce me- Are they bard TO
ride? | wonder how long IL would take me
to learn. ! see you ride a bicycle. l couldn't
do that very well, but do so much wish to
get a trcyCle--that IL, If 1t will reduce me.
What do you think about it?'
-really-I-s-think ii might re-
duce one. But, pardon me, I-a-dOn't
think that you-a-need reducing.
This gallant lie brought to the surface three
smiles and a roll Of the head.
40, | must be reduced. | am resolved
upon it. why, | used to be SO slender, will
lowy, ~ they cali II. I've tried everything
to get back my shape, but all in vain, rs you
see. No more ilattery, II you please. 1t is
wasted on an ugly, old, fat woman. But
where can | get tricycle.? | ride horseback
every day, but 1t doesn't reduce me one bit. -
"No? l should think it twould-a--reducc
the-a-horse somew hat
40, it does, 1t does. lie il nothing but a
pack OF bones,n cried the fairy's companion.
Age nineteen. Brunette. Tailor made suit
N-shaped shirt BOSOM Enamelled studs
Standing collar June complexion. Smiled
at everything to give her pretty teeth fair
chance Didn't require reducing.
" | an rather too heavy for poor Bucephs-
lus," chimed In the iairy. DO tell me about
the tricycle."
Madam, go down to Blanks in Fifty
eighth street. ask for Jones, hire "A pair of
wheels for an hour and take spin up
Riverside Just to see how you Ike tho
sport"
40, thank you ever so much. ! shall do
that Are you riding every afternoon |
think shall oe out on my try-my wheels,
as you say, tomorrow. | do hope 1t will
reduce me. 1t ought TO do ii. GOOD after
noon, sir, and thank you so much for your
kindness"
The barouche with its fair burden rolled
away. The wind came swirling up the road
lifting clouds of dust other vehicles dashed
by the young man of the wheel, New York
Central freight train ratified along the track
below, a sprinkling-cart spurted and squirted
in the semi-circle, but above all the din there
sounded one word in tone hopeful, if pa
thetic-" reduced"