Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-05
BRIGHT BITS.

THE Southern watermelon has appeared in
our midst. This is what ails our midst
FhitddetDh{d Press.
ut is cold day when get left" remarked
the hannel suit when it was showed up at the
s.-Bost0b oion'ercidt Bulletin.
THE mosquitoes are so large in a certain
town on Long island that bad headed resi-
dent keeps them of in church by wearing
base Tall catcher's mask.-PUck.
To BE forewarned is one quarter better
than to have a righteous cause; for a man who
IS forewarned is four armed, while he who
hath his quarrel just is only thrice armed -
LoaoeH Courier
YOUNG MEN believe in nothing nowadays"
says Mrs RamsOotham, with deep sigh;
why. there's my nephew Tom, who
brought up as Christian, and now he's an
Acroetlc. '-PUHch.
THE children were playing at horse rail-
road. Tommy suddenly exclaimed: Look
here, we've forgotten something. We can't
20 on unless we buy M an Alderman" W hat
ridiculous ideas sometimes get INTO Chlldren's
heads.-BoSton transcript.
IN these times of "monev living idle" we
hear Of man in New York who, when he
attends church. occupies pew the furthest
from tue pulpit to save the interest o. his
money while the collectors are passing the
plate for contrlbutions.-SbOe and L dther
ReDOrteT.
COL. MCCLURE says that New Orleans,
heel which only war can WELD" This seems
TO be rather a roundabout way of calling But
Ter mule, which excels all other animals in
welding an IRON heel-ln war and Out.-NOT-
r,stoaCR Herald.
mo MAN" saws a great writer. "reioices in
defeat" We don'G know about that. There
certainly was great jawy in the camp of the
Phlllstlnes when samson was performing his
celebrated bone act. There are two thing,
that seem to stick closer for ICklng-a dog and
postage stamp BrOOkEyn EddLs.
SEVERAL of our most prominent and influ-
entail citizens have stated, in substance, TO a
representative of this paper, that in their
opinion this town could wiggle along wit h less
dog. 1t is doubtless fact that too much of
our dog population is running around on top
OF the ground.-Estsltine (Ddk.) Bell.
WE were in the basement of tbs capitol,
looking at the heating and ventilatng appa-
ratus. The coored attendant pointed to q
thermometer, saying; That instrument will
tell you the heat an cold of the House of Rep
resentatives, and that one Cpolnting to a ba-
rOmeter) will give you the humility of it,
H1rQeT'S Bdsdr.
AN express tram stopped at Pittsfeld few
days ago t. let a passenger get off for a MN
ute and ki-s his wife, who happened to be in
that town. AS long as no train is permitted
to stop in order to let man kiss another fell
lows wife surely no fault can be found with
railroads management for this sort of thing
LeaciStoR Me- Journal.
CUsToNER-I say, Mr.. Barber, don't hear
your scissors at work on my hair.
Barber-Ihere is very lutte hair on your
head.
Customer-That makes no difference. l pay
you money and want You TO rattle the scis-
sors on the ball place Just the same as if it had
hair on it.-TesdS SittiBgs.
MRS. GILFLoRY-I think it's a shame have
to ride around in that old coupe, when Mrs
Spreadeage is always getting something new
IN the way of a vehicle.
Mr.. G.-Why, my love, guess she hasn't
new equipage, has she?
Mrs or course she has; | heard her say
at her party the other evening that her hus-
band had given her q cdrte blanche.
MIR. Cts one OF those basket phaetons, |
guess.-Zhe Rambler.