The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-08-18
BRlC-A-BRAC.
A foot girls.

n 1901 girls.
You can get your phiz at the photo
gapher's or the soda counter.
The Mexican flea is becoming vicious
and shows a decided inclination TO bite.
The sins an old man confeSScs with the
greatest relish are those he never committed.
The candidates are abroad in the land.
The woods in every county are full of them.
Very possibly the child is born who will
be the first President OF the British rcpub
lie.
Many a man is the architect Of his own
fortune, but never gets money enough 10
build.
\ poodle dog and a Doodle husband are
all that many young ladies require to make
them happy.
The only time q young girl will excuse
her lover for treating her Coolly is when lie
sets up the ice cream.
1t is q curious fact tina, the sun never
shines so hot on the base ball grounds as it
does on the harvest field.
If fifty men in the United States engage
in a violent outbreak it is called 4 local dis
~turbancc; in Mexico it is a revolution.
The advocates of female suffrage are so
consistent that at n recent banquet they had
their bill of fare headed 'wOmcnu.'
Some darncd Yankee has invented Il new
patent stocking darncr. 1t can never take
the place of a nice little woman. however.
Some portions of South Carolina are now
so rigidly temperate that they object TO
storms brewing in the ncighborhood.
The knights Of Labor and Labor Unions
are distinct bodies, but there is a striking"
resemblance between them.
III, hoo. ,;,,.. l-z -. m, , ,
phia, but we presume there will be no
change in style for coats of paint at present.
1t is curious that a wrecked steamship is
always in command of "onc of the most
experienced captains in the service.
The difference between a buzz saw and
d bull dog is that when the former is mos;
dangerous il never shows its teeth.
We are never more deceived than when
we mistake gravity for greatness, Solcmnity
for science, and pomposity for cruditiOn.
\ California woman while splitting wood
bit her tongue in two. There is no moral
TO this. Women don't split wood this side
of California.
Mclocipcdc is the new name Of musical
bicycle so fashioned that the rider can kick
out melodies, waltZcs and reels as lie travels
along the road.
~ p~lStOl'CaTTy1 Threatening crank has
become an adjunct OF Gen. Logan's PrcSi.
dental booming scheme. Anything for
notoricty, you know.
Tho new 81 silver certificates will bear Il
copy Of the Stuart portrait If Martha
Washington. a portrait of Gen. Hancock
will adorn the 50 certificates.
Fortune is like II collar button. when il,
flies from you You have TO get on your
hands and knees and work hard to get il
back.
Harmonious coloring gives n feeling Of
rcpoSc in the home n V an art Journal.
Therefore if you have q red headed wife,
furnish your house in the same tint.
Women can talk a great deal with thci.
eyes, but the trouble is in piuning them
down to anything they say in this rather
vague and romantic form of expression.
French women consider carrots rs n
specific for the complexion. and good
judges in such matters can tell at a glance
how many carrots fine a woman's complex.
ion IS.
All He was arrested in Portland on sus.
picion. Now if somebody would arrest
"Ah there and keep it out of sight and
hearing for a while it would be a rest for
everybody.
An advertisement ina Western exchange
reads: How 10 act successfully on the
liver" II the chap who put the adj. in
would only produce II medicine that would
teach people how To act successfully" o.
the stage there would be some sense about
him.