The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1886-01-01
Our Spcrtaclcs.
REV. DE WITT TALMAGE

by REV. DE WITT TALMAGE.
A man never looks more dignilico
than when he takes Il spectacle ease
from his pocket. opens it, unfolds Il
lens, sets il astride his nose. and looks
you in the eye. have seen audiences
ovcrawcd by such Il demonstration
feeling that II MIN who could handle
glasses in that way must be equal to
ANYTHING. We have known Il lady OF
plain face: who, by placing an adorn.
mcnt of this kind on the bridge of her
nose could give an irresistible look,
and by one glance around the room
would tran>ix and eat up the hearts OF
Il dozen old bachelors.
There are men, who, though they
never read Il word of Latin or Greek
have. by such facial appcndagc, beer
made to look so classical, that the mo-
incnt they gaze on you. you culver as
if you had been struck by Sophoclcs OF
Jupiter. We strongly suspect that 8
pair of glasses on Il minister's nose
would be worth to him about
three hundred and scvcntv-six
dollars and forty-two cents ad.
ditlonal salary. Indeed we have
known men who had kept their par
ishcs quiet by this spectacular power.
1T Deacon Jones criticised. OF Mrs. 10.
about gossipcd, the dominic would sc,
them in range, shove his glasses from
the tip OF his nose close up to his eve.
brows, and conccntre all The majesty
OF his nature into look that consumed
all opposition easier than the burning.
glass of Archimcdes devourcd the Ro.
man ships.
| But nearly all, young and old, near
sighted and far-sightcd, look through
Spcctacles. BY reason of our prciu
dices, or education, or temperament.
things are apt to come to us magniiicd.
or lcsscncd, or distorted. We all see
things differently.
Some OF us Wear blue spcctaclcs,
and consequently everything is blue.
All is wrong in churches, wrong in
education, wrong in society. An I'm
digcsted slice of corncd beef has GOV.
cred up all the bright prospects of the
world. a drop of vinegar has cxtin.
guishcd Il star. We understand all the
variations of II growl. What makes
the sunshine SO dull. the foliage Sc
gloomy. men so heavy. and the world
so dark? Bi"e spcctarles. nv dear.
An unwary Young man comes tc
town. He buys elegant silk-pockct.
handkerchicfs for twelve cents, and
diamonds at IL dollar store. He take.
grernback with an X on it. as a sure
sign that il is ten dollars, not knowing
that there are counterfrit>. He take.
five shares of silver mining stock in
the company for developing the TIE.
sources of the moon. He sllpposcs that
every man that dresses we'll is a gent
tleman He goes to see the lions no.
knowing that any of them will bite.
He has IN idea that fortunes licthcklv
around. and all he will have to do is tc
stoop down and pick one up. Having
been brought up whore the greatest
dissipation Was Il blacksmitl-Shop on
Il rainy day. and where the gold on the
wheat is never counterfeit. and buck.
wheat fields never issue false stock.
and brooks are always current" and
blossoms are honest when they prom.
Use topay. he WAS unpreparcd to resist
the allurements of city life. A sharper
has llceced him, policeman's .biliy''
has struck him on the head. or il pris.
on turnkey bids him Il rough Good.
night.
What got him into all this trouble:
Can any moral optician inform us:
Green goggles. my dear.