davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
MANN

MAMMA DAUGHTER. PAPA
SEINE l.
DAUGHTER:
Neatlyh-Hc called last night at eight, mamma,
(Clearlyl-But simply talked of stocks!
(Sweetlyt-He thought men met their fate, papa,
Dearlyl-By dresses and by frocks.
(Teasingly>-I think him ill-diSposed, mamma,
ProudIy) And not like other men;
Pleasinglyl-You see. he's not proposed, mamma,
Loudlyl-And has not asked me when.
SCENE IL
Brightly He said all girls should wed, mamma,
(Grandly)-i tried TO lead him on:
(Sprightly(-If yosI had gone DO bed, papa,
(Blandlyl-Tm sure would have won.
(Slghingly He told me all his woes, mamma,
(Truly)-And called his home "A den;"
(Cryingly)- But yet he won't propose, papa,
(Bluey)-Ant viii not ssk me when.
SCENE III.
(Coldyl-I used his Christian name mamma,
OryIy)-Hc'd sInile-and- -hem-snd-coU
Boldly Tie thought it such a shame, papa,
tShylyt-Some girls were not well of
(Tearfullyl He's bashtul, suppose mamma,
(Kindlyl-And all that thing, but then
(Tearfuliy Can't you make him propose, papa,
(BliDdly yt-Ard make him ask me when!
CURTAIN
Dewitt Sterry
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

mine rren'," SAID GeorGs. merchant to q
drummer who used to frolic with him, after
the former had compromised al around at
forty cents on the dollar and gained q year
to wind up the business, I'm goin' ter make
of you-er-vot you call him-er-brevered
creditor How vas dotr
Thanks, old fellow, thanks! l knew you
wouldn't go back on me- How are you going
to arrange itf' The merchant led him aside.
"Vell," said he, closing one eye, "f want
to tell YOU rite now dot nobody vas goin' ter
got er d-n cent outer dis pIzness."
"And you call this making me a preferred
creditor" The drummer's eyes could havo
been knocked OFF with stick.
IVY noti You know all aboud it now, but
dem udder vellers won't hns id out fur er
year. Macon (Gal Telegraph.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

McGinnis the King, to Gus De Smith
(Hamletl in a hoarse whisper-What are you
killing me now for, This Is only the first act!
Gus De Smith-TO get rid of You quick.
Do you suppose the audience can stand such
wretched acting through the whole play
Texas Siftings.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

johnnie" said Johnnie's father, solemnly,
@you mustn't say By jinks.' That's swearing
is It'll" said Johnnie, inquiringly.
Say, father" said ne, lis Iy -stander swear
ingr
Yes" said his father, "he usually is when
he is diminutive, and the crc wd gets in front
of him so that he cannot see the fight-Cam.
bridge Chronicle
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
NYI IN a SOUTHERN HOTEL.
His Reflections on the Heater, Proprie-
tor and ChAmbermaid.

tor and ChAmbermaid.
As you go farther and farther south you
notice that the huge base burner Of the cold
northwest gradually shrinks, till finally It
disappears entirely, having been swallowed
up by the crate and the old fashioned fire
place. IL is very curious and interesting to
watch the mammoth base burner and the
buffalo overcost as they go hand-in-h hand out
OF our lives and give place to the seductive
atmosphere and time lock smoke houses Of the
south.
l give here a drawing of about the last
heating stove | saw in Tennessee. This
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
IT ONLY ATTACKS MEN.

A bold, bad boy Of Illinois thrust a couple
Of plugs Of tobacco into Q big jug Of whisky
be found in tine horse sheds during a church
supper. And the next day the local physi-
clans reported seventeen cases OF ice cream
poisoning, all men, and the poor women who
made the ice cream cried their innocent eyes
out about il
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

II you would be popular in society, my
son, you must possess something that
society needs. See how the whole coop
runs after the hen with fat worm in
her beak. Boston Transcript.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
MURDER.

Two human feet were washed ashore last night
Two human feet, or murder sure the sign ~
o! BY the way, one fact | CHANGED to slight
did the washing, and the feet were mine,
It'd Bits
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
Burdettes.

Stranger-And what is that large building
on the opposite coTneri Guide-Thati Oh,
yes; why, that's a-skating rink. Stranger
"A skating rinki And for what is it usedi
Guide-It isn't occupied Stranger-For
what purpose. then, was it erectedi Guide
Blowed il know / don't think ever
hoard
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

When King Charles was quite q young
man be one day asked one Of his wise coun-
sslors -Wh hat is the difference between hank
and a clockt" -Oh, most wise and gracious
prince, replied the counselor, "when clock
is wound up it goes, and when q bank is
wound up it, But what happensdI The
English people rose up in their might and
cut his neck OF at each end Go thou and do
likewise when you hear q man talk like that.
R J. Burdetts in Brooklyn Eagle.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
The Lime Kiln Club.

The committee on agriculture, to whom
was submitted the inquiry from the secretary
of state Of Illinois: Has the turnip been
properly encouraged in this countryr re-
ported through its chairman as follows:
"Dis committee didn't jump on that query
wild boat feet all TO once We went slow
We looked into two city directories an three
histories an we talked wild seberal farmers
who knew the turnip from his infancy up
to ole aige. 1t am our conclushun, based
upon pashient investigashun, dat de turnip
has had a far show in de United States. He
has bin lowed to crowd de onion into de back
townships, an to hustle de squash about in de
liyelest manner. Fur a vegetable which
contains 30 per cent. water and 10 per cent
of slush, de turnip has got along fur better
dan could be expected by de man who
grated a cucumber on to q beet an made
him ~
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
. NOLk1EIkUkI
Breyities-

Brevitfes-
A sentimental writer asks: did you ever
watch a dear baby waking in the morningi
Many times. II generally occurs about 5
O'Clock and enables the father to get up
splendid appetite for brsakfast-St. Paul
Herald.
When doctors give q man up his chance for
life is gone. When lawyers give one up his
money is gone.-Cedar Rapids Gossip.
Mike McCool /. dead Michael was a prize
fighter, but be will live in literature, for he
originated the famous phrase: Put up or
shut up"-Alta California
1t is usually unmarried women who write on
the subject Of How to manage q husband
Charleston Enterprise.
Mr.. Gladstone Is not going to chop any
more at present. His woOdpile is now large
enough to last the family all winter.-Bur-
lmgton Free Press
Ella Wheeler Wilcox says she Is slow to
note the cloud that threatens storm" II Ella
lived in the cylone region she would get left,
or rather, carried away.-Louisyille Courier
Journal.
A Nebraska farmer who lost $500 in cash
offered s295 reward to the finder. 1t was re-
stored by a lawyer, who hung around for
half an hour and then mustered up courage
enough TO ask if the loser couldn't split the
difference on the s. and make the reward
s29T. so Detroit Free Press
What is filling our insane asylums" asks
o patent medicine advertisement. Well, there
are 81, 90 brass bands in this country at the
present time, and the number is rapidly in
creasing. II this Is not the right answer we
have another. -Norristown Herald.
There was a Young lady in BassviIle who
said to her lover: aAlas, VIII, YOU come
every night and you talk such sight that
the people all call you my Gas Bill Detroit
Free Press
"What makes that girl walk 80 funnyfn in
auired De Smyths Of Browne. is she intox-
icatedr "Oh, no; she's not intoxicated" re
sponded Browne "It's only her shoes that
are uSh'' We" age
You should never judge a man by the UNI
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
JUDICIARY.

The committee on Judiciary reported in
favor Of a new section TO the law regarding
burglary, the section to read as follows:
an case a husband has SlGO in his pocket
on gwine to bed at night, an be wakes up in
de mawnin' to find ali but ten cents gone,
while dc house shows no evidence OF q forcibly
entry, an de ole woman begins to talk about
buyin' velvet sacque, de presumpshun
shall be dat de wife got up in de night an
took de money, an if she doan hand it
ober de sentence shall be ninety days in de
cooler
The Rev. Penstock objected to the report
being accepted, asserting that it was a slur
on the honesty Of the female sex
"If de female sex doan' want to be slurred
dey mus let our pockets alone" said Brother
Gardner. Il has bin frequent victim TO
sich mysterious transactions, an believe de
time has arrove when par of pantaloons
hung across a bedroom char at night should
be held as sacred es de knobs on a church
doah. De report will be accepted an de
amendment forwarded to de mex legislature
to be acted upon. Detroit Free Press
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

He-How old are you, Miss Emma,
She-I arm old enough to know better than
10 answer that Question.-Detroit Free Pres..
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
THE GREAT PAN HANDLE ROUTE.

p, c. & st. L. Railway, L. NJ. Divides
Springfield Branch.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
Not Worth n Million.

Smith Clayton has just returned from New
York. He was walking on Broadway with a
New York friend, who was pointing out to
him the business places of the many million
airs merchant princes OF that street Smith
looked and listened attentively, and finally
paused on the street, and said to his com
panion:
well, say; is there anybody on this street
that amt worth 81 ,OOO, DOOR
-Oh, yes the other replied You see
that man across the street selling peanutsF
YES" interrupted Smith with an expires
sion Of relief.
"Weli,r continued his Informant II don't
think that poor fellow is worth more than
sl00, ,000-Atlanta Constitution.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

Of cars In either case tt rough to New York.
No. S has sleepers through 10 81. Louis.
All trains arrive and depart FROM ]. .. q W
depot in this city.
Trains run on .entral time.
For tickets 10 all points call on
J. D. PHLzsRR, Agent; once Y Arcade
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

No. 50, mixed train, carries passengers b.
tween Springfield and Xenia. Leaves Spring.
field 5 pm, Yellow Springs sos p. m. arrive -
Xenia ,. m.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12

/. b. 4 W. Passenger Trains leave and arrive
at Springfield as 5OllOws:
Going West-2:l5 "a IN; ll:S IN; 500 m
Arrive from West-2:O5 m; g:45 8 IN: $50 u
Going EAst-2:s a m 9:55 IN; 5:S n; s:ke
pm
Arrive from East-l:55 m; $50 m 1l:Bs
m; 7:55 m.
Going NOrth-2+5 m fo.O5 a m 5:ssa r.
Arrive from NOrth-l:l5 a N; 9:S n; 80
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-12
N.Y.P.&o. TRAINS LEAVE:

Going West-l:4l a m; l0:35 m; 3:4s pm.
Going East-2:25 m; l0;23 m; 9:s7 D m
OHIO SOUTHERN TRAINS LEAVE:
Going South-lO:3O m; 5:35 m
Arrive from SOuth-9:50 m 40 m.
c. Z. HENDERSON, II. y. BRoxsoS,
Gen. Manager. Gen. Tkt Agent.
D. II. ROCHE. WM. HEFFERMAN,
Gen Agent. Ticket Agent
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
What About The surplus:

The Republican organs are inter
preting the elections to mean that
there must be mo disturbance of the
tariff"
But the defeat Of few tariff reform
Democrats does not remove the neces-
sity OF reduction in the revenues.
What shall be done with the surplus?
This question confronts Congress just
as imperatively as though no election
had been held.
The excess OF Treasury receipts
above expenditures was $6 ,2S3,04S for
October, and over $20,0000OO during
the last four months. The surplus for
the year will be nearly if not quite $751;
100000 All the redeemable bonds
will be called and paid before the end
OF the fiscal year. The defeat of Mr..
Morrison and the close call to Mr.. Car
Isle do not alter the fact that taxation
must be reduced, or the money piled
up in the Treasury,to the crippling Of
business, or the excess spent in reck-
less appropriations.
Which shall it be? Shall the sur
plus be prevented, or boarded, orspent?
Worhip of the Protection fetch does
not Danish this question.-N Y World.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
The Electoral vote orIsse.

Taking the vote Of the States as
cast this year for State officers, and
for Congressman when there were no
State officers to be elected, the electo-
raj vote OF the union would stand
Democratic, 203, Republican, 1913.
The Democrats carried 20 states and
the Republicans Is. Oregon is
classed with the Republicans al
though her people elected a Demo
cratic Governor by a large majority.
Colorado is rather an accident in the
Democrats column but the Demo-
Gratis carried the Governor and the
Legislature, but on local issues. Cali
fornia is very close, but her Governor
and Legislature are Democratic, and
the State is fairly entitled TO be SO
classed. Virginia is classed in the Re-
publican column with her II electoral
votes. There was no State ticket
elected there this year, and there was
q general breakup in the election Of
Congressman over the Tariff and In
ternal Revenue issues. It is entirely
safe to say that Virginia would have
voted Democratic had there been
President to elect, and that Colorado
would hvae voted Republican,
Changing the vote by the transfer of
Virginia TO the Democrats and Colo
RADIO to the Republicans; the electoral
vote Of this year would stand-Demo-
cratic, 2l1 Republican, 100, allowing
Indiana to be Republican and Califor-
MIA Democratic, both of which are
about equally doubtful
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
Governor ofWyouning.

Il was reported in this city last week
that Mr.. George w. Baxter, formerly
Of this city, but now a resident of Chey-
enne, w. T. had been appointed Gov
ernor of Wyoming Territory The re-
port was not credited because it was
not believed that President Cleveland
would appoint a Republican to such
an important Office, The report, how
ever, turns QUITO be true and the DEM
ocrats in this part of the country are
critcising President Cleveland severe
ly. OF course, the personal friends OF
Mr.. Baxter are gratifed at the appoint
ment. Mr.. Baxter is son-in-law of
Colonel G. NJ. McGhee, of this city,
and son OF the late Judge John Bax-
ter. He is a graduate Of West point,
and until he embarked in the cattle
business in Wyoming, was second
Lieutenant in the United States Ar
Kaorpille Tribune.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
Not Dead Vet.

The redoubtable Field Marshal Hal
stead, OF the Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette, solemnly declares that the
elections mark the beginning Of the
decline and fall Of the Democratic
party" The Democratic party has
declined and fallen good many times
within the past twenty-five years but
about each time that Mr.. Halstead got
his voice pitched to sing at its funeral
the wonderful old party showed its
recuperatiye power by jumping up
and knocking out the Republicans in
the most unexpected manner A par
~ that has carried New York four
years in succession, ttat has carried
the House for three terms, and that
has even now almost held its own
while very nearly redeeming Massa-
chusetts and Minnesota, is a good dis
lance from deaths door yet--N Y.
IForld.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
The TariG and Steel Rail
Makers.

The demonstration OF the iniquity
OF the present tariff on steel rails fur
nished 10y Representative VIM. l..
Scott, Of the Erie district, is impressive.
He shows that the seven or eight
makers OF steel rails in this country,
under the cover afforded by the tariff
ON imported rails, have in the last
eighteen months been able by an
agreement among themselves, to adj
vance the price OF rails from $3.50
per ton 10 $39 90 per ton AS the adj
vance in the cost Of production in that
time has been but ten per cent, or not
quite ~ so per ton, there has been an
advance IS per ton, "without any ne
cessity for it." On the 100000 tons
of rails produced, the seven or eight
firms have Tins pocketed an extra
profit OF 100000 The working
man gets not Il cent Of it. This profit
comes ultimately out Of the travelling
and trading public in the shape of
high passenger and freight rates.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
The Senate.

That stanch old republican paper,
the Chicago Journal, is not happy
over the reduction OF the republican
majority in the United States Senate.
Figuring on the probable composition
of that bed after March 4 as being 80
republicans and 81 democrats, the
Journal says "Even this apparent
slight advantage for the republicans is
much impaired in value by the fact
that Riddleberger, Of Virginia, has to
be counted to make up the thirty-nine
and ne is one Of the most eccentric
end unreliable of politicians. The
prospect is not a pleasant one, but it
may as we'll be looked in the face as
to be kept out Of sight" Perhaps the
republicans may endeaver to make
Riddleberger solid, as they did Judge
David Davis, by giving him the presi-
dency Of the Senate. But this could
only be done by putting Senator
Sherman aside, and the relations be-
tween these two Senators are any
thing but cordial, growing out OF dis
putes between them last session.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
Cleveland at Harvard.

Last Monday was the fourth and
last day of the celebration of the 250th
anniversary of the founding of Har-
ward College. The proceedings were
under the charge OF the alumni, whose
most distinguished guest was Presi-
dent Cleveland, who, with Mrs. Cleve-
land, was present at the literary ex-
ercises in Sanders Theatre. Suisse
quently, at the dinner of the alumni,
he delivered an address, in which he
pleaded for the protection of men OF
culture in politics and incidentally
scathed the newspapers which he con-
siders have not displayed sufficient re-
spect for the Presidential office and
have intruded upon his private life.
He gave public reception in the at
ternoon at Faneuil Hall and another
in the evening at the Hotel Vendome,
afterwards taking his departure for
New York. During his speech the
President said No public officer
should desire to check the utmost free
dom of criticism as to all official acts,
but every right-thinking man must
concede that the President OF the
United States should not be put be-
yond the protection which American
love of fair play and decency accords
to every American citizen. This trait
of our national character would not
encourage, if their extent and tenden-
cy were fully appreciated, the silly
mean and cowardIy lies that every day
are found in the columns OF certain
newspapers, which violate every in
stinct of American manliness and in
ghoulish glee desecrate every sacred
relation OF private life"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
The Chicago strike.

CHICAGO, November l0-A large
number oimen applied for work 1t
the packing houses this morning and
about 5000 men are at work Nelson
Morris received a dispatch from the
east say my that some one down there,
whose name lie would not give, will
send 800 skilled butchers lie had al
SO dispatch from n slaughter firm in
the east, which has been killing beef
for him, which says that they have
killed 300 head Of cattle day and can
double that number il he wishes it..
About two-thirds of the men at work
in the yards are new hands. The mill
itia guards were out, as usual, and all
approaches were lined with pickets.
There was busy scene at the town
hall, at the Union stock yards, during
the morning. About 5000 of the old
employees of Armour e. Co., Swift &
Co., and the Chicogo Packing and
Provision Co., werecongregated there
for the purpose Of being paid of. 1t
was deemed more advisable to let
them get their pay there than to have
it done at the firms Offices.
An afternoon paper says; The boy
colt has already been declared by the
general executive board OF the Knights
OF Labor, "said Mr. Barry at noon to-
day" 1t begins on Armour's meats
and other products. How far we shall
extend it as to other packers | cannot
say as yet"
CHICAGO November 10.-There was
a collision tonight near the Ashland
bridge that was guarded by twelve
men Of the Second infantry, under
Lieutenant Mcmillan, the balance of
the company being stationed in the
vicinity Of the packing houses. A
crowd Of strikers and sympathizers,
numbering about 500, were determin-
ed to prevent The packing-house en-
Iployees from crossing the bridge at
the close of the days work. The
crowd was charged by the squad sew
eral times and forced them to retire
temporarily, but increasing number;
added to its persistency and a serious
conflict seemed imminent. Finally
Lieutenant Mcmillan gave orders tC
load with balls. The crowd thereup
on speedily dispersed and the employ
es went on their way without fu thel
molestatiun No one suffered suffer
ed serious injury.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
Commissioners TlIacIs's Haenort


Commissioner Blacks report for
the fiscal year ending June 80, 1886
shows that there were at the close Of
the year 365,7S3 pensioners, classified
as follows 265,s54 Army invalids !;
sO,l62 Army widows, minor children,
and dependent relatives; 1858 Navy
invalids 1873 Navy widows, minor
children, and dependent relatives /;
1889 survivors of the war of 1912, and
1882 widows of those who served in
that war, showing a elimination in
survivors during the year of ! ,406, and
OF widows Of 1915
There were added to the rolls during
the year the names Of 40,S57 new pen
sioners, and the names Of 1929 whose
pensions had been previously dropped
were restored to the rolls; making an
aggregate Of 1906 pensioners added
during the year
During the same period the names
OF 22,0S9 pensioners were dropped
from the rolls for various causes, leav-
ing net increase to the rolls OF 90
Cos names.
The average annual value OF each
pension at the close of the year is
shown to be $122,23, gain of average
annual value over last year Of $11 SS.
The aggregate annual value of all pen
sions is ga ,706,027,44 an increase of
like value for the year of $6,617041,51.
The amount paid for pensions dur
ing the year was $63, 797 ,S31.6l; de-
crease in amount over the previous
year of 81, 1876, 1891 difference due
to the difference in the amounts oil
"arrearages" paid.
The difference between the amount
paid and the annual values is due to
first payments, including accrued
and arrears"
The amount paid to 1887 new pen,
sioners during the year upon first pay
meut was 500, 1877 054.16; and there re.
manned in the hands OF the several
pension agents 5,526 OF this class un
paid at the close OF business on the
30th day of June, on which there was
due 80, $40, 1884
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11

From the New York Sunday Herald.
DR.. Goftheil put the relations be-
tween this country and France into
very expressive eloquent language yes
terday. He said to his congrega-
ton -
1t is the people who have set their
strong seal upon this treaty Of peace
between two great countries. And
this seal will last longer than any die
tated by statecraft or enforced by the
sword. Should it, God forbid every
be broken, then must the war ships,
carrying their dread messages, seek a
way other than that lying past that
statue, or extinguish its torch and
veil the fair form in mournlul black,
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-11-11
Hens i-ro.n North Caro,ima.

RALLIGH, Nov. 10.-The Senate
stands twenty-seyen straight Demo-
Gratis three independent Democrats
and twenty Republicans. The House
has fity-four straight Democrats, nine
Independent Democrats and lifty-sev-
en- Republicans. No labor candidates
were elected. The Independents were
all heretofore Democrats and claimed
while running to be Democrats. 1t is
understood that the Republicans pro-
pose to nominate an independent for
Speaker, expecting thus to control the
organization of the House. The Dem
ocrats expect the cooperation of the
Independents as heretofore,