The Portland daily press., 1886-03-06
WIT AND WISDOM.

aob bv the way pa, DEAR" said Hartford
volng lady, as she babe him good morning. Don't i9
forget when you come home TO prlhe one o. ehosc
.-one Of those-ono OF tiiose--you Ano'' "o90 to-
tato Washers" - ,,,.0,e ,,,o,, il,
the household arts Are you gong 70 ne e nsin
liiy on The masher end and a elematls VINE on the
handle and send it to the mission 1s'lf
The action of Carriers Little Liver Pills is pleas
ant mild and natural They gently stimulate tlle
liver. and regulate the bowels, but do not purge
They are sure to please.
80, you're going to lecture, rhear2
"0n what subjeet?r
''Hcven't thought OF that yet:
Haven't you prepared lecturer
.sDo YOU know anything about the business?"
tKot thing. but it's all right. I've got tn2
would lust make your heart ache Win envy 70 see
the rattngnotices he is writing for me-bureette'
nouIncy troubled me for twenty years. Since i
started using DR.. Thomas's Electric Oil, have not
had an attack The Oil cures sore throat at once
Mrs. Letta Conrad, Standish, Mich
Gilhooiy went into an Austin restaurant, gave
his order for some fried cafs brains, waited
long time for the waiter to bring what he ordered,
hut In vain AT last he asked
swell, what about the calfs brains n? .a,a.
The waiter shonk his head dlsmally ana sald:
what's the matter With my brains?n
The story aot out and now there is some talk of
running him for the legislature.
colgan's Taffy Tolu sells like hot cakes. tab
let of it chewed after meals will relieve indiges-
tiOn.
"Do you want any berries, maam?" asked
NH The iady told him she would like some, and tax
ing the pail from him stepped INTO the mouse: ne
did not follow but remained benlnd, Whstilhs 10
some canaries hanging in their cage. =. .,
WHY don't you come in and see II measure
your berries rght?"t she she a. asked HOW uo you
well. ma'anl, / should only lose my berries
and you would be stealing, Don't you think you
would get the worst OF II?
smart Weed and Belladonna combined with
the other ingred tents used in the best porous
plasters make Carriers s. W. & B. Backaehe Pas
ters the best in the market Price 25 cents.
ORIGIN of the Shot Tower-One night in the
year f7S2 plumber of Bristol named Watts had
a very profitable dream. He imagined nc was ou y
in a shower of rain, but molten ieaa lei lllslsaa
~ water and the drops were perfectly round.
When he awoke he was SO struck WIN l1e sln is
1arit his dream thai Ilc 1ue OCCuuiCu w
that lead shot could be made in this manner. = 5
a fest he assembled the tower OF 81: Mary heu-
cle church and poured molten lea9 ln. . sotne
water below. The result satisfied ms eApeet,ase
fion and he sold the invention for large sum OF
money
Children starving TO death Oh accoun.
of their inability to digest food will find most
marvellous food and remedy in SCOTS Ennul-
sion of Pure Cod Liver Oil with HyPo-
palotahln and easily ul-
gested.
Jinks-HaYe you heard the sad news of our OLD
friend Hicks? They say the poor sieliow mas
ioi Bin nix don't say so! Well, there's one
consolation. If he, doesn't give II away himself
nobody will ever find il out"
am glad to tell you that since using Athlopho-
ros am freer from rheumatism than have been
in twenty years. A lady near me, who could not
turn in bed for two years, has found relief from
II. Rev Mrs. A. Heath, Castleton, Vt.
know not what others may think of my labors,
hrt to myself it seems that | have been but a
child playing on the seashore, now finding some
nehhle rather more polished, and now some shell
Father more agreeably variegated than another,
while the immense ocean of truth extended itself
unexplored before me.-oir Isaac Newton.
Il had catarrh for ten years; used Negethe ior
few months and was entirely cured"
He was trying to beat Chatham street e. dealer
down on suit of clothes; ana ne hnaliy observed:
you'll admit that wool is down, won't you?"
"Oh, yes" ao,,,ro,,
wei, then, how can you call that suit worth
s14?" ..,o,,. so.o.o++on dot lint
tons vhas way oop. Dot vhas Ger OASIS inquire
on"