Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-15
PAST AND PRESENT.
The Great Men OF the Past World
BE Small Potatoes To-day.

Inc Great Men or the baSt WoriU
BE Small Potatoes To-day.
Says Brother Gardner in the Detroit
Free Press: A note mas been left on my
desk AKIN me why de present aige has
not produced Cicsro, Diogenes, or
Milton. Ianswer to de efFeck dat each
aige has produced Of itself an fur It.
self.
Diogenes was looked on as a wise man
in his day an aige. Put him an his tub
on airth to-day an it wouldn't be twenty
four hours Defo' he'd be jerked to de jug
fur crank, am de law would fO'ce him
to cut his HAIR, dig out his tingar nails,
an put on a clean shirt.
Cicero was applauded by thousands fur
his mastery oratory. AT dat aige de gift
OF CAB was rare thing. In dis aige you
kin attend S5lawsuit befo' any Justice
OF de Peace an find a match for Cicero In
So lawyer. IL he could drap down
among us he'd find il hard work 10 get a
resolushun fur new sidewalk treW de
City Council.
Shakespeare was big bug fur de aige
in which he lived. He was probably de
only person on airth who could have
writ his writings, an he disarved all
praise. Ifhe was among US to-day he'd
lind cherry newspaper givln' him de guy,
an all de boys yellin' out "chestnut!" as
mis- works appeared in Seaside form. Dis
aige demands different style. We want
sunthin' bout angels comm down an
takln' leetle chilPen straight up to Hea-
benz or Teller gwIne out to Texas an
KILN half a dozen Injuns day fur va
cashum. We want plain English, widout
muffin bout me lord, me duke, me lady ,an'
sich, an we doan' want to. Dis alge has
produced 5000 pussons who, while dey
can't write like Shakespeare did, kan
waltz all aroun' him in koepin' de read
er's hair on eand from de fust paige to de
last.
Nero was big gun fur his aige, but
jest you emag1ne SIGH a chap cayortin'
arOun' dis kentry at dis day an date! De
very fust time he sounded his bazoo in
de Ninth ward peeler would give him
de collar an walk him down, an de next
mawnln' you'd see it in de papers dat ole
Nero was sent up for sixty days fur dis
turbin' de peace.
We has no poet to ekal Milton, but if we
had de newspapers wouldn't gin him
fair show. DeY'd refer to his produck-
shuns as spring poetry, an he'd likely be
dubbed de Ba'n-gate Balladist of Indiana.
Dis aige doan' cry fur poetry half as
much as furpOrk, an chap like Milton
WOulN udf w Iutu u uauu OESdu W mdho
Hvin'.
De aige doan' demand no great man in
any line. When it does he will bob to de
surface an his name will appear in de
papers. We am all mo- or less orators.
We am all wise 'nuff in our way. W. am
all philosophers 'nuff to see why water
won't run uphill, an statesmen 'nutf to
know dat what ails dis kentry am its over
production Ofbootjacks.
My advice to you am to keep right on
being common folks. If you want to git
above de common herd pay cash fur your
groceries, let odder tOlkses woodpiles
alone, keep whisky an SIGH at arms
length, put IN six days a week at hard
work, read mo- skule-bOoks an fewer no.
wells. You may not become a Napoleon
nor Plato, but you'll be remembered
in your own neigb0rhood when de names
Of state GOv'nors hev bin forgotten.