The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-06-05
A COLD DAY,
An Eastern Man Meets a Dakota
Blizzard.
Some of the Stories with Which Old Timers
at Fargo RegeIe che Wise Men of
the East on Their
First Visit.
rDakota Cor s. Panl DaE.

CDakora Cor ST. Paul Day.l
An Eastern man with = culchah" and the
fragment Of q F7~.uue I-su over from a dis
sipated patriDoS-- ,-.s at the HeadQuar-
tiers Hotel yesterday afternoon, on his way
up the valley looking up line Of land in
vestments. He wanted to be introduced to
some active Dakotian The boys steered
him onto Old Bill Jones, and a friend who
had just come in from taking a sun bath on
the platform, looking for pilgrims on the
incoming trains. They sized up the wise
man from the East, as the clerk introduced
them, for the old blizzard story.
The stranger opened the ball with: "Awl
I am glad TO meet you. Must be rather
cold country out here, should say"
"Well, yes, purity burned cold here now,
and reckon We'll get blizzard before
long"
"a blizzard Aw What's blizzard?"
''What! Didn't you never see a blizzard?
No? Well, IN be burned, Hank" turning
to comrade, "here's a fellow as never saw
blizzard" He continued: 81 have,
though, an III tell We about it. A feller'n
get up some morning and he'll think it a
fine day. The sun will be shinin' and ten
to one he'll take drive in the country and
that's just what the cussed thing wants.
Long about noon it'll get little hazy
around the sun and purity soon the sky'u
git kinder black around the edges like a
feller's eye that got spoilt in sluggin'
match, but it'll be all quiet and the wind'n
go sneakin' along as though it was 'fraid o.
scarin' somebody, an the sky win get lit
tie darker round the edges $ if it was goin'
to put on mournin' And you'll git scairt
and wonder if its goin' to snow. AM then
the stinkin' wind will hold its breath till
you git away from any house or everybody
gets out of his hole, an then the darn
thing'H begin.
elbow! It'll blow horse right out of
the harness and snake a cutter over the
prairie at the rate of a mile a mint. And
then you've got to be mighty careful to
keep your hat on or it'll blow you bald
headed in less'n no time. Beats Sioux
Indian on the path for raisin' hair.
That's the reason there are so many bald
headed men in Dakota; that, an lynn
bout the country. An by gosh it'll blow
your cloes right off o. you, too, and then
your deader than an icicle. You have to
strap 'em on. Nobody goes out doors in
Dakota without some straps in his poclI-
cts. Then you'll think it's gettin' cold but
you won't know how cold it is till you pull
out yer whisky bottle an find it froze SOL
id, specially if its Dakota whisky. Beats
all how little cold Dakota liquor can stand.
Then first thing you know it'll begin snow
in. Oh, the snow'll come from every
where. Seems like the ground showed,
and you'll think you're in the middle of
a big whirlin' snow bank, an ten chances
to one you'll git all tangled up in the
burned stuff, an go foppin' off like a
big snow flake, and won't know nothin'
till you drop down somewhere in Mime
sofa. An that's what makes it so dry in
Dakota. 1t SHOWS 'nough there, but I'll be
cussed if the stuff ever touches ground
till it gifts to Minnesota. If man gifts out
of one of them billiards. he'll have to carry
his own corpse out. Won't nothin' keep the
snow out 'cept buffaler skin, an it'll wear
that out in half an hour.
d" got caught in one of them an thought
wuz dead man sure, but got out by the
durnedest luck you ever see. l was big
cuss then, weighed two hundred and fifty
pounds, but was awful scairt and felt my
self a shrinking under that blasted cold,
you know cold contracs as we used to say
at school, until 1 wasn't bigger'n gopher.
Well, as 1 was a gropin' my way round
on the prairie put my foot in a hole. 1t
was a badger hole, an mebbe you won't
believe, but I'll be burned if didn't crawl
right into that badger hole, 1 was that
shrunk, all but my boots, an they was too
big an stuck on the outside an keep the
snow out. WE'LL stayed there till the
wind quit howlin' an then l crawled out
an went home to Jimtown, where l lived.
They thought | was lost, an when l tole
'em who 1 was they laughed at me, said
wuz'n imposter an draw me out Nv the
country. No, sir, don't want any more
billiards in mine, betcher life. I'd rather
be in an open claim shanty longside the
north pole or in a fiery furnace with my
back broke.
: We'll, skuse me, stranger" concluded
the Dakotian, 81 must go; come Hank"
nudging his partner, " did you see that
tenderfoot's eyes? Thought they'd drop
into his mouth. Guess he'll never stay in
Dakota. Jaw, what's a blizzard? but Pm
gettin' dryer'n Dakota; let's irrigate."
And the Western rustlers turned the corner
on bee line for the nearest place.