Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-05-12

haps.-Binghampt Republican.
THE heraldic device of the Smith
family of Virginia is said to be club
flush, and the motto, 'sThus doth Po-
kerhauntus. "-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
AT the bric-a-brac Dealers: ooh,
what delicious little vase. 1t is very
old, isn't it" "No, madame, it was
made recently" ''Ah, what a pity
1t is so beautiful. paris Paper.
MEXICAN pulque is q beer made from
the juice of q cactus and is sold for
one cent a glass. 1t looks bitter,
smells loud and tastes yellow, but it
gets there all the same.-Springfeld
Union.
He was practical and had been MAX
ing love on that basis. She was q lit.
tie that way herself. "Can you
cook?" he inquired. "Canyou supply
everything to oe cooked ?" she replied.
1t was a match.
SOME Of the old topers in Rhode
Island say they don't care whether a
prohibitory liquor law is passed or
can easily step over the border when
they want 81 drink.
A NEW English dictionary contain
ing 100000 words is about to be pub
lished. This seems TO be a direct eff
fort on the part of the learned author
to curry favor with Senator Evarts
and the man who is moving.
Ola PoLTEssE DU CGUR." Mamma
latter dinner:) "Alice, dear, let us
hear your new song" Alice: "I'm
afraid of disturbing DIR. Schmidt,
mamma" Herr Schmidt waking up:)
each! dot mind me. will take my
self away from re rooml"
THE word salary comes from the
Latin salarium, literally salt money,
from sal, salt, which was part of the
gay of Roman soldiers This will
probably explain why certain young
ladies regard young men who receive
meager salaries as being entirely "too
fresh"
CHEF Two-BELLY, of the Crow tribe,
is dead. The dear departed with the
double abdominal appellation was
carried away by a long and lingering
appetite which loved wisely, but could
not'get enough to satisfy its dietetic in
tegrity. = Butte (Montana) Inter
A SCHOOL committee man who had
been explaining to a class that the
land of the world was not continuous,
said to the boy who happened to be
standing nearest: "Now, could your
father walk round the world?" ''No,
SIR" was promptly answered. "Why
not?" Because he's dead, sir"
A MEMBER in silver speech slapped
at the national banks, and in a loud
voice exclaimed: What is the differ
ence between my note and a National
bank note?" "You can buy some
thing with the bank note" Clipped in
an opponent, before the Texan could
answer his own Washing
Jon Critic.
envy husband is so poetic" said one
ady to another in q Seventh Street
ar the other day. t'Have you ever
iried rubin his j'ints with hartshorn
iniment, mum?" interrupted a beefy-
ooking woman, who overheard the
,emark. "That'll straighten him out
IS quick as anything I know of, if he
hasn't got it too bad.
THE New York Sun says: "Fou1
aces and six beat four aces and a
i've" Unless the Sun plays poker with
lice he had better never come West
where a concurrence of these hands in
single deal of poker Is always the oc
;asion OF a double funeral, the pot
,oing toward paying the funeral ex
1enses. -Omaha Herald.
SHE had a lovely foot and her visit
RS were admiring it. They were
A 10 or @
lhoemaker dares not mention such 6
hing unless they are alone in a din
corner of the drawing-room where no
body can overhear. "What q beauti
ul foot you have, dear" eyes. Pc
says when We go to Europe he'll have
9, bust of it made"
HI SAY, waiter" shouted the i'm
patient gentleman; ''do you know that
you remind one of the millennium
you're such long time coming" g.
beg your pardon, SIR" replied the pc
lite attendant, "but you also remind
me of something, to wit, the American
eagle-such distance between tips
you know" The matter was straight
way settled by arbitration.-BostO
Transcript.
FIRST young lady: "These horrid
men. There goes three more Why
can't they sit quietly in their seats, al
we do?" Second ditto: 81 don't fo1
my part see how they can know what
the play is about" Elderly man (ir
rear seat:) "We don't. We haven't
seen anything but your tall hats OF
heard anything but your chatter since
the curtain rose" He is taken out
and promptly shot
Mr.. HEAvIPURsE Ito his daughter
Yes. Carrie, we shall hereafter spend
our summers at the North, and wher
the winter approaches we shall &c
South. and thus escape the cold wealth
err" Carrie-'.But, father, reflect.
cannot do it. Just think of the conse
ouences." Mr.. H.-"Consequences
What consequences, pray?" Carrie
sWhy, father, don't you see If am tx
have two summers year, by the tim