The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-02-24

RlOWiuk IN U Wby W uiOOVsAA' |
bred salamander, Mr.. Browne, or the
bibulous wreck of Mr.. Browne, rushed
madly into the hall yelling at the top OF
his voice:
"Firee I'll see e a patron Of your
seven-by-nine country tavern can't have
fire when he orders fire."
Unhappy people in rooms contiguous
to No As, already made nervous ay the
succession OF noises emanating from 1t,
now thoroughly aroused by what in the
otherwise still hours OF the night they
naturally thought to be an alarm OF
fire, this impression being painfully
intensified by the rushing to the scene
of numerous employees. determined TO
stand by the valOrous bald-headed
clerk at all hazards, now came pouring
out into the hall with that large degree
of trepidation and small quantity OF
clothes characteristic of hotel patrons
in conflagration ut night:
The occupant Of No. AZ bad not been
asleep-a fact he now regarded as
newfoundland it was brief toilet
that he made previous to his prompt
appearance in the hall in response to
the instinct of self-pressrvation-al-
though he had that self-same night told
himself over and over again that death
was far preferable 70 living with kathy
Eggleston eliminated from life. He
was confronted by score OF white,
scared faces, half of them women's, and
his first impulse was:
"How many can save-who shall
save first?"
In No. 81 the occupant had no toilet
to make. She was still standing in the
ghostly moonlight and was the last to
Be reused from her numb pain that
made sleep impossible by the commo-
ton outside her door. As she joined the
crowd of excited men and historical
women, the highly erated and now un-
comfortable Browne was still shrieking
"Firer' at the top of his lungs, while
the whole office force were engaged in
trying to drag him downstairs.
Miss Eggleston recognized the strug-
Cling cause of the commOtion and shud-
dered. She had reason to fear tho man
Browne worse than she feared fire.
Contemporaneously with her appear
ance Plympton's mental inquiry "Who
shall save firstp" was answered. They
saw each other at the same instant.
This was no time to be bothered with
the "parted forever" part Of it. A
moment more and they were both saved
to each other and for all time.
Utterly bewildered and hOpelessly
shattered by the extraordinary rush OF
events the bald-headed clerk rushed up
from the lower regions, whence the in
satiable fire-fend of No. 48 had finally
made scenic disappearance, and man
aged to say:
There Is no fire, ladies and gentle
men; there is not the least danger
you can retire at once-and," Us il .
happy thought had suddenly restored
his mental equipoise, IF you want any
thing, just ring for it--you'll find the
list of calls in every room"
"How about that frey, untamed luna
tic in No. 48 who has been working
those calls till the whole house is .
bedlamp" sarcastically inquired gen.
tleman who for some reason persisted
in shivering despite the reassuring
overcoat that left only his bare feet ex.
posed.
"Oh, he's too full of fire-water and
we've put him out" said the clerk,
with faint twitching to the corners IOi
his mouth, which showed an inward
appreciation of remark that he
thought worthy of professional para,
grapher. "He had the jim-jams and
we've sent him around to the station
house to sober up" he added as con-
cession to any order of intelligence moi
equal to an appreciation Of his delicate
brand of humor.
Don't lay it to the liquor, young
man-although I've no doubt that's
villainous enough here in Maine, u
growled the gentleman in bare feet
} "Put the blame where it belongs, on
J your COMPOUNDED system of double
entry electric calls!''
But" said Mr.. George Plymptom
soto voce, in a glow Of gratitude
while rejecting that had it not beer
for this same complex combinatiar
which his enemy had worked to hi
: own discontinue Montreal and New
, York would in twenty-four hours more
, have divided himself and Miss Eggles
ton. II find that these electric calls
have been rung to such purpose tina
they have brought me the dearest ant
, sweetest and best valentine the blessed
. old saint ever sent to heart-hungr!
> mortal!'
> Then. in = voice not confined to ,
single auditor, more especially address
ing the bald-headed clerk, while {
dozen of the female guests subor
dinating a natural impulse to scurr.
back to their rooms to still NOR
|. natural and wholly commendable curl
/. osity that scents out and heartily en-
' joys genuine romance-he said:
Some hypercritical persons thinl
! ton in electricity as applied to hotels
Instead of agreeing with this super
: fetal and erroneous view of the ad
mirable utility Of your system, 20,
may say to the proprietor in the morn
ing, with my compliments, If yo1
= please, that l would suggest the imme
! date addition of a tenth CALL"
"For WHAT" asked the bald-heade
= clerk, suspiciously, never before hav
= ing heard mortal being say one goo
word for their electric calls" but
with prompt, human and heart
thawing out, as Mr. George Plympto
|, replied, still engaged in very earnestl
saving Miss Eggleston not only fr6r
!. fire but from all other possible harm
" "For the clergyman, of course
. Ed,cin II. Trafton, in N Y. Graphic
: Valuable Sweepings.