Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-03-27
RANDOM CLIPPINGS.

RANDOM ClIPtiN0os
Some parents do very wrong to keep
their boys in knickerbockers and long
stockings until they are nearly as tall
as grown people. Take slim youth.
| for instance. with . small leg, and alb
normally large feet, on which are
heavy shoes covered by Arctic over.
shoes. Fancy his feelings when some
other boy yells out! II say. gumboats.
where are you going with those
straws.-Peck's Sun.
Infidels and atheists who ridicule tho
Bible practice its precepts in whatever
moral enterprises they engage in or adj
vocate. They enjoy the golden fruit
of civilization thrashed down to them
without thankfulness to the Giver or
acknowledging any sense the source OF
their obligation.-Ch Chicago Inter Ocean.
Druggists advertise the Elixir de
Milan" and say that Nine. Patti uses
it to make her voice brilliant and clear.
As she has been offered an engagement
in Brazil at $6, ZOO per night, she will
probably try Elixir de Brazil.-PscE's
Sun.
A Cleveland speculator sent his son
to Wisconsin to buy hops. telling him
to keep his eyes open for any other
speculation. After few days a de-
spatch came, saying" A widow has got
corner on the hop market Of this
state. Shall marry her?' Certain
w." was the reply sent over the wires.
Twelve hours later the son announced:
"Got the hops, the widow and seven
step children, and shall 20 to Chicago
tomorrow to see about divorce
Wall Street NeDs.
The flying start" is subject upon
which bicycle riders are all interested.
and there seems to be considerable diff
ference of opinion about it. There
have been too many flying starts toward
Canada of late years to suit the general
public.-PecE's Sun.
Deacon Pillar says that ParsOn Proof
taxi breaches as fine sermon as ever
he heard. So logical, he says. and 50
broad. Fogg admits that Prooftext's
discourses are perfect in reasoning, and
recognizes their breadth; indeed he
goes further. and says that they are
well proportional; that is to say, that
they are as long as they are broad
Boston Transcript.
DR.. Burchard. who, alliteratively If
not literally. turned several hundred
Blaine votes Clevelandward with his
three RS, has been elected president Of
Rutgers Female College. He was caro-
full not to make any speeches during this
campaign. Let us hope he has got in
to his rut ut last.-Peck's Sun.
/ An editor is a man whose dizziness it
is to investigate a nuspaper. He writes
editorials. grinds out poetry. inserts
deaths and weddings. sorts manuscript,
keeps q waste basket, blows up the
devil steals matter, fights out other
peoples battles; sells his paper for .
dollar and fifty cents a year, takes
white beans and apple sass for pay
when he can get it, raises large fam
lily, works nineteen hours out of twenty
four, noze no Sunday, gets damned by
everybody, lives poor, dies middle aged,
and often broken hearted, leaves no
mummy, is rewarded for life of toll BY
. short but free obituary puff in the OPP
position nuspaper.-Josh Billings.
Barney Card has been arrested at
Warsaw, Indiana, on a charge of forg-
ing notes to the amount of $40, 900. He
thought for time that he was the
highest card in the deal, but the Joker"
was out, and now he is not even a nine
spot.-Peck's Sun.
A sad accident is said to have occur
red at Wallingford, Conn.,, recently.
A colored woman had occasion to leave
home for half an hour or 80, and put
her baby in an oven to keep the little
piccanniny warm, the fire being nearly
out. The husband came in while she
was absent. and not knowing where
tho baby was, built hot fire. Wife
saw the smoke, hurried back-too late
dark despair! 1t is the greatest won
der in the world that some enterprising
daily has not headlined the tragedy, in
large type, Roast Coon! etc.-Peck's
Sun.
A dealer in sporting goods got stuck
on an extra large lot of high rubber
boots. and thought he saw way out
of the difficulty, so he advertised Rub
Der Baptismal Pants" in all the lead
ing Baptist publications. BY this
means he worked off most his stock to
advantage, but now many of the pur-
chasers are offering their baptismal
pants at half price, as some of the old
time hard-shells sat down on the innO-
walton, claiming that the original idea,
as they understood it, was to .'go down
into the water" and get wet, and their
notion that there is nothing scriptural
about the new fan oiled sspants" wOuld