The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-11-03

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An exchange speaks of a corset which
stayed the force Of bullet and thus
saved a young lady's life This settles
the question OF whalebone. for hereafter
the corset stays Teras StftsngS.
Visiting clergyman in Indian Nation
Are all these Indians Chri-ians?"
Irish waiter-"No, sur, not wan of
them; some is Comanches. an some is
Episoopalians. - TeraS SJtiRgS.
4 little girl lately wrote to her friend:
Yesterday little baby sister arrived.
and papa is on a journey. 1t was but 3
piece Of luck that mamma was at home
to take care of it. - Philadelphia Cab.
Wont you sing. Mrs. Money ybags?n
Il have not sung since l was married. !"
But You were a perfect nightingale be-
fore. ''Aightingales do not sing after
they have made their nests. - Tot1Rs
Topics.
We beg to suggest TO the poets and
novel writers that it Is foolish to repre-
sent the sun as kissing 50 many lakes.
rivers, mountains, and the like IN land
where pretty girls are so plentiful as
they arc in America, darlington Free
Press.
A lady recently sought to insUu { her
little grandchild in relation TO the pro
vident care of Heaven. WHO gives
YOU your daily bread?" asked she.
'Dod, replied the child, "but Uncle
John puts the butter and sugar on. -
Hartford Times
paai iqfbqd6S a9 81 m RPat tbs afq r06m St fY6R 81
placing a saucer of ground coffee in the
apartment. Now we understand why
it is n man generally chews ground cot
fee when he is painting the town red
Roeblaad (Ae) Coslricr
\ citizen was basting an Anarchist
from stem to gudgeon, when his friend
interrupted "Will you take that?" he
said to the Anarchist. Take it." con-
tinued the citizen; ''of course he viii
take it. An Anarchist viii take any
thing except a bath. ~ Washington
Critic.
In the Police Court: Accused. you
are charged with having permitted
games OF chance to be played in your
establishments Games of chance! !
must protest, your Honor, against such
a charge. Why, there is not a gentle
man there who does not cheat! !'-FrencA
Joke.
Fair Traveller What does this meant
The expressman lays he can't find my
trunk. Here is the check for it" Bag
gageman-'The trouble is, ma am, that
You changed cars too often. The check
and part of the handle has arrived, but
the other pieces haven't got along yet. y
Omaha Htid.
4 gentleman who imagined he re-
cognized a lady friend advanced cor
daily and addressed her. Il beg your
pardon, he said. ''but isn't this Miss
Greenleaf?" No, sir" replied the
lady; ..my name is Redpath, ''Ah
excuse me! L must be color blind. -
Boston AdUertiSer.
At an entertainment given to the
Maine Press Association at Bar Harbor
last week young lady pianist played
s.rhe Thunderstorm" in so realistic 8
manner that Editor Owens of Augusts
accused a Portland newspaper IN o
going into the hall and stealing his um
brella- Cape AtH Breeze.
A little fellow between and 4 yeari
of age, living in town, was asked wha
his Kitty did in fight between her ant
a dog. ''Well, SAID he, ''she bumped
up her back as high as she could; sh'
made her tail as big as she could, anC
then she blew her nose in his face. -
Brunss0ick (Ke.) Telegraph.
Buttons-"Letter, sir. Bearer want
answer" Mr.. Bumptious BlowarC
(who has '.got on'0-"Don't speak ik'
that you dreadful boy! You never hear
me say a answer. Buttons-'No
sir; you puts q hatch in, sir. Tain
your fault, sir; there weren't no schoo
board when you was boy, sir" Sack
ed.)-Loadop Fan.
The anti-slang movement in our stat
is winning many adherents. The
scheme involves a forfeiture of five cent
for every slang word INDUCED in, tn
proceeds going toward some missionar.
fund. There is nothing that will knocl
slang silly so quick as having to chip
nickel every time one toots his horn
RockIa15d Courier Gazette.
The Earl of Carnarvon at banquet
in proposing the h. lth of the clergy
said that .'in these days clergymel
were expected to have the wisdom ant
learning of a Jeremy Taylor. HI
Lordship was next day reported to hav
said; ''In these days clergymen wer
expected to have the wisdom and learn
ing Of journeyman tailor"
Bagley-'-Just one moment" d
Bags Excuse me; l am in bit of
hurry. I expect my wife home fror
Atlantic City to-day "And you ar
going tc meet herr '.No; I'm goin
home. haven't seen the house sine
she left, and L want to brush the cob
webs from the front door. You see,
dated all my letters AT Home "-Fhi
adelphiG Call.
BILLY Jones struck a great snap,
said man to an acquaintance. ''Ha
he, indeedP' was the reply. "Wel
I'm mighty glad TO hear it. Billy is
first-class. Woodworking young fellow
and deserves a good thing. How di
he run across it?'' why he monkeye
with turtle in front of restaurant.
They don't even drink with each otht
now.-Merchant 1'rGueIer.
Coroner say that the womal
suddenly left your hack and threw he
self over the bridge-railing? Hackma
Yes, sir; and put in a whole hot
looking for her before any one came.
Your humanity was commendabl
MIR. johnson, particularly as she was
total stranger" We'll. sir, | was n
turallv anxious to find her, as 81
hadn't paid her fare. - PbiLadelpli
Call
"Yes, said traveller. Il went dow
the Mississippi once from Davenport
New Orleans, and found the trip mo
delightful II made the same trip
few years ago, remarked anoth'
traveller, land found it everything b
delightful. Il was tame and tedious
the extreme: What did you find plea
ant about it?" Catching fours.
caught 'em three times between Cail
and Nicksburg- -"-Nes0 York Sun.
A newsboy who was eating away at
yellow banana. while be had two re
ones stuffed into his pockets. was a
preached by another and asked: I'D
YOU get that tin-type took iur 10 cents:
Nav. Too cloudy?' ''Naw
was ou my way to the gallery whe
bananas dropped to three fur 10 cent
and / took advantage of the deelin
Tin-types are aIlus 10 cents. but banan
bob up and down. ''-D Detroit Free Pre-.
Il want some dye snffs. said the 0
| lady, as she entered the drug store. -
right. ma am. said the new boy promI
", I'VE can give you arsenic, strychnin
chloroform, laudanum, and if you wal
something right sudden. for family US
can put you up a pint of some ne
Hannibal whisky with the corn-me
foatin' in it. y But the old lady g
mad and vouldn't be appeased. Th
is-she got madder and madder.-B Bu
dette.
When Mr.. Boozle landed IN Ne
/ York from a Liverpool steamer t
/ other day he gave every appearance
having had long and severe tuss