Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-07-10
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.
Some Plain Talk to Women by q Well.
known woman Writer.

Christine Terhune Herrck in the Philadelphia Press
Whether they are sufficiently honest to &C
knowledge Ii Or not, ninety-nine girls out OF
every hundred look forward to marriage a
matter of course. 1t would be better for them
and for their future husbands were this taken
into account In the training OF girls, and with.
out teaching that single life must be empty
and unsatisfactory, yet instruct them that, as
matrimony will probably be their destiny, they
should tit themselves for IT, not only by train
ing in domestic duties, but by the study of gen.
tleness, fOrbearance and unselfishnesS.
A blessed provision of nature often overlooked
Is the change worked in woman's disposition
by love. Ii the sentiment be worthy of the
name. the deep, strong affection from which
alone marriage should spring, and not a mere
passing fancy, the tendencies will be to awaken
all that Is best and noblest i'll the heart. 'Old
things are passed away. all things are become
new" Looked al by this fresh, true light, little
deprivafiUns, petty economies, small sacrifices
and even large Ones-becOine a burden to he
embraced and enjoyed for the sake OF the one
with whom they are shared.
Occasionally a wife may be found who is suf-
ficiently devoid OF womanliness and generosity
to sigh over the immunity from care she
knew before her marriage and to reproach the
husband of her choice with his inability TO pro-
vide her with the luXuries she Graves. Such q
creature, however, would not have been i'm
proved by wealth. Sometimes prosperity seems
to have a Sweetening and ennOoling effect upon
natures which adversely has narrowed and
hardened, but rule those who can not stand
hi for riches
The custom of early marriages has, perhaps
wisely, fallen into disuse. The title OF '.old
maid Is longer conferred upon q woman
who remains single until twenty-five. More
girls marry within u year or two after that age
than i've years before 1t. There are both ad.
vantages and disadvantages in the former sys-
tenn. Youthful judgment is prone to he harsh
and unsparing, and IT may be well questioned
whether The larger proportion of happy mar
riages are not those formed alter twenty three
ratDer than earlier.
Another objection to boy and girl matches is
that they likely to be The result OF accident
instead OF choice. The fancy Is readily captI-
vailed when one has seen little Oi the world, and
many a man or woman in later lie shrinks
with repugnance from IA marriage which seemed
altogether desirable when neither was out oI
the teens. Exceptions to this only prove the
rule It's truth may De atteSteu by TACT tina.
there is not one MAN or woman out OF fity who
Will not acknowledge having been the victim of
some youthful lame OF which the memory
brings NO pang, but only SENSATION of auuse-
menL slightly tInctured with disgust. The
youlhlui IOve Is very real, toc-while ii lasts
ana Causes such ailerniLlOns Oi bliss and misery
To LARRY PERSUADE the sufferers that IL the
right timing. But il differs com pietely from
tue affection vi ripper years A. do the stumbling
lettering steps oi u child from the nrm, assured
tread oi Il man.
Inc early marriages OF our grandparents are
sometimes quoted III justification vi the pr,c-
tice, but times nave caauscd since then. In
spite vi the hustle and hurry That make ten
Years of the nineteenth century equal u forty
vi tue seventeenth, the age at wuicn young
men and women Conclude their scholastic ed u
cation and launch themselves into the world
OF business or pleasure is steadily growing
later. Boys and girls colleges are increasing
the age at which pupils are admitted. 1t USED
TO be thought nothing UNUSUAL Ior d youth to
begin his cOilc5istt course at IA; now il is
equally common Tor him to POSTPONE MS ma
Irie ultlion until he is II or -. Few girls are.
graduated from finishing schools seninaries
under IL or ~, while those VINO take "a regular
college cOurse continue their routine OF study
even later. The girl wants her swing i'm So
! ciely before she settles down 10 married lite,
while the man mas his business or procession IO
! acquire aud his position gain In the world
| be.ore he can seriously contemplate taking
unto himself a vile.
Ii special training be necessary in the prepa-
| Ration oil a wOnan IOr marriage, ii is no less
| eraily overlooked. great deal is said aDou
the beauty OI gentleneSs ana unSe fisnn ness in a
woniau, and OF the need vi her possession vi
these qualities in making true home happine S.
but unless these faults are giarlnSly apparent
| In man they rarely provoke adverse criti-
cism. The question Is sometimes asked upon
! the announcements Oh an ensagenenL: lis he
good enough Tor her?" but nls peccadIlIOes are
| seldom submitted TO the Keen examination to
! which hers are subjected.
II Is a cOilniou Labit 10 lay the blame upon q
wOman'S shoulders II home IS not peaceful
ana nappy, except in cases where the husband $
weil-knOwn vices preclude this. Even then
| there are always ceusOrs ready 10 hint That III
! tue woman nau made domestic life all IT should
| be she would probably have less cause Ior COM
plant. W lille open courses OF xLravaxance
| Inteinperance or lnndeilty are cruelty hard To
BEAR OF her less palpaOIe trials
nearly as wearing. Inc tricks U; speech man.
| nler and conduct that offend u woman are
equally distressing III d man. lie haUll of Care
Iessness, tue gradual Iaillng away OF The MINOR
cUurtesies Oh word aud bearing that marked [ he
DetrOLnitl days are ielt keeniy by those women
who suffer iroin them, although pride and 10y
atty may alike prevent coinpiainL
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