Morning journal and courier., 1886-08-03
TALK.

ssTalk!" exclaimed the barber in an in
| jured tone, "talka of course do; but 1 don't
| iniure anybody. rm sure I never say any
| thing. Philadelphia Call.
s:Millionaire' writes: Which is correct?
| ssI have a thousand dollars" or 'I have one
| thousand dollarss" The proper expression
is: CT have not one thousand dollars. "
Philadelphia Call.
Oftentimes advertisements are woefully
lacking in perspicuity. One, in describing
patent infant feeding bottle, closed with:
''When the baby has done drinking it must
be unscrewed and laid in a cool place. :"
That is why we said the baby was patented
instead of the bottle.-Philadelphi Call.
ssWhere is the apathy?' asked Mrs. Snaggs
as she and her husband were inspecting the
House of Representatives at washington DUR
ing a recent visit.
5'The apathy?' interrogated her husband
eyes: 1 have read good deal in the pa
pers about the apathy of Congress, and L
thought I'd like to see it. t."-Pittsburg Chron-
icle.
She wouldn't play house that way. Mother
-"Why, Harry, you haven't got through
playing house down on the beach, have
youa" Harry-"Yes'm" Mother-"What's
the matter? Didn't you have good time?"
Harry-''No'm; that Carrie Judson is a
mean old thing. She wouldn't fight bit
like you and papa, and when I hit her on
the head she cried. She's no fun."-Tid
Bits
little girl who had been told that when
it was laundering it was God talking was out
on the lawn one day not long ago playing
with her dolls. Her mother seeing storm
coming up, called to little Alice to hurry and
come in. She began picking up her play
things, but before she got them all it thun-
dered when she exclaimed: ooh, bod, don't
raise such fuss and scold so. Pm hurrying
81, T
He (in the waltz(-"You told me you
would send an answer to my proposal by
letter oLo (pIushingly)-"And 1 did. y
He-"Then | have not received it. Ahl do
not trife with me, sweetest Angelina %
Shelf have no wish to trife with you I
sent my answer. 1t is strange you have not
received it. 1 sent it yesterday noon by a
messenger boy" He-"By a messenger
boy. Oh, then I'll get it to-morrow. Thanks
for the explanation. You have relieved my
mind greatly. y."-Boston Courier.
''What queer notions children do get into
their heads" F" said asuburbanite last evening;
stthis morning my little five year old girl
attended Sunday school for the first time,
and she came home full of the idea that she
must take some pennies with her next Sun
day. No more pennies for candy, papa
she exclaimed; they must all be saved for
the Sunday school, And what do they do
with the pennies at Sunday sehoolF 'Oh,
GH0y SoIo tHeLu up W tlou auu Wudt uOoS
God do with themp 'Oh,' she said, after
moments hesitation, he throws them down
again to see the little children scramble for
them. That's the way he has fun. '"--Chi-
cago Ledger.
They are telling a story that has sort of
an ld-time look in one of the suburbs about
an old lady who supplies her neighbors
with occasional poultry. The old lady re-
Gently sold to a gentleman who lived near
her couple of well conditioned geese Per-
haps if he had been expert in geese he
wouldn't have bought them, but he wasn't. |
When they were cooked they were brought |
forth for a gala occasion, but neither one of |
them could be eaten. They were tough |
beyond belief. Next day the suburban gen |
tIeman went to the old lady |
more in sorrow than in anger. |
81 could have forgiven you one |
such, said he, ''but what did you mean by |
selling me two geese SO incredibly and unpre-
tough as thoses" ''Law me-" said |
the old woman, putting up her hands, ''them |
geese had lived together for 81 years, and I |
couldn't bear to think of their bein' separated |
in deathl"-Boston Record. |