Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-16
BRIGHT SICS.

TEACHER in Grammar Recitation-I didn't
have no fun at the seaside. How would you
| correct this, Johnny?
Johnny-Get a Burlington Free
Press.
A MAN may accept the prevalent opinion
that sherman is Il Rarrulous old saphesd in
MS declining days, and sull not be guilty OF
any overt act OF war against the government.
Limo In tNe6.) Democrat.
WHEN Tompkins kept out of the way of the
police for little while, but was finally ar
| rested, he said he always believed the officer
should seek the man. not the man the officer.
a tHeo0rO (Idss.) a d0Ocate.
THE New York Critic thinks the statue of
the great Ftench liberatOr in Central PARK is
TOO grave" Nonsense. 1t couldn't be. He
is dead. One would scarcely expect him to
be iaughy yet Washington Post.
QUITE NATURAL: But Emma. how can
you prefer the plan and shabbily dressed
Julius To nv elegant and handsome brother?"
That is quite simple; your brother is in
love with himself and Julias with me."-
Dorf6D bier.
HERR STRAUSS tyawning)-How you vas.
Hans? You don't know nobody no more. ain'd
it?
Hans-Mine trent if you vas shut your
mouth so can see your face den mebbe |
can tell who you vas.-7he J1tdge.
SHE-James, do you know you put three
buttons on the plate in church to-day?
He-Yes, l knew what | was about.
She-James, perhaps you don't know that
bought those buttons yesterday for my new
dress and paid so cents apiece for them
Wilmington Star.
FIRST floor lodger ito landlord)-I'd like to
Know what kind of tenants you keep in this
| block. The people who have the room over
mine must keen aseg of beer constantly on
tap. for the stuff runs down through the cell
ing AVID drops ali over the furniture in my
room. Now, it's got TO be stopped.
Landlord-Wby, don't you ike beer?- It'd
Bits.
IT is said that Capoul, the tenor. went into
a hair dresser's shop In London recently TO
secure the services OF the proprietor. In
what -tvle do you wish your hair dressed?'
asked the knight Of the curling tOng5, who
did not know His customer.
"Why, la Caroul. OF course"
'On. that's very unbecoming; I'm sure it
wouldn't please you."- French Fun.
MINKs-I can't see the use of book like
that. The p per says the Earl of Duferiu
has an edition OF the sacred book OF the Sikhs
which Is only half As large as postage
stamp.
Of course not, leastwi-e not without spec
| tac'es.
Well. people don't read sacred books much
till they get 10 wearing spectacles.- omaha
| W,fEd.
MRS. HENDRIcKs, the landladv, and Mrs.
| Simpson, who keeps a rival establishment
around the c rner, we're returning from mar
ket when Dumley CHANGED TO meet them. He
| almost SWtpt the BToanu Win nlS nat. "IhHt
| Is Mt. Dumley. my fourth floor back" ex-
| planned Mrs. Hendricks.
"Inueed!' said Mrs. Simpson, "what a very
| polite and deferontial young man"
He Is three weeks behind with his board"
replied Mrs. Hendricks grimy .-Neto York
Sun.
Tom AHJERRY, a somewhat dissipated stu
| dent at the University OF Texas, remarked 10
his chosen friend, Bill Yardley: I'm in a
| streak of bad luck"
''What has happened to your"
"My uncle has just voluntarily sent me
| check for s25.'
NV here Is the bad luck about thatp"
you see. was just going to borrow $50
| from him. and now l can't IN deeencv do it.
| The old scOundrel has headed me off. I've
been 1leeced out of $95 by the villain. "-Teras
| SUtings.
WINKLE-Some women are never satisfied.
! declare I'll never be polite in street car
again.
Mrs. Winkle-What has happened, dear?
You know Mira. Blink'ns, that awfnIly
heshy lady who comes TO our church, weighs
over AGO rounds, should say, aud must be
| most a yard wide.
Yes. dear.
Well, when we jumped up and offered
her seat she didn't act pleased bit, but on
the contrary looked mad enough to bite us.
Who do you mean by we?
The six of us.-OaGhl World.