The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1886-04-15
WIT AND HUNIOR.
It's n chestnut that's over it's primo
10 remark, as we do in this rhyme,
That, II under q ceiling

You're standing or knceliug
ire certainly something sublime.
-fOnkcrs Gazette.
There was man once on time who thought
- him wondrous wise,
hc sworc by all the tabled gods he'd never ad-
vcrtisc;
But tho goods were advertised ere long, and
nv, thereby hangs the tale
Ahc no was set In nonpnrcil, and headed
Salem Gazette.
shc entered the store with n charming smile,
Ana said to the clerk: 80, Charlie, say,
nave you moment to spare for mo
ana let Inc know how much wcighY'
"OnG-thirty is what the figures say"
And the n1c RrocSr sa avn wis nsSist his me- please
Inc young man give her gentle squeeze.
,r,F For moment the young man answered not;
Then he softly said in bashful voice,
~, that is the weigh long have sought"
-Lowoll Courier.
Jack-"Grandma, have YOU good
tccth?" Grandma-'No,d dear; unfortu-
natcly l have not" Jack-"Thcn I'll
give You my walnuts to keep till I come
back. ."-Bostom Bcucou.
The King of Bavaria has shut himself
up and refuses to be seen. In this coun-
try one, two, or more kings can be seen
BY any one willing to put up money for
the sight. J'nion
a Down East parson prayed in church
against progressive euchrc, and his con-
grcgation, who had never heard of it
before, have been busy learning it ever
since, just TO sec if it was so very bad.
Dio Lewis thinks people should 90 to
bed at and get up at .. The unso-
phlsticatcd doctor doesn't appear to be
aware that it is between those hours that
NIL the fun comes on.-BoSton I1un-
script.
''Is the Undcr-Sccrctary of State i'm his
Officer" Yes, sir, but when he is in he
doesn't receive anybody.' "All right;
I'll come some day when he isn't in."-
French Paper.
Hc-Arc you fond of reading tictonp
She-Vcry. Hc-Arc you reading the
serial, "Swcct Birdie Simpson," now
running in the Cross Country Magazine?
She-Ees, and all the articles on the late
war: think tI.ey arc dclightful.-M.
Y. Sum
The newspapers arc full of prcscrip-
tons for the cure of hydrophobia. What
we consider the best prescription of all
has not yet been published 1t is this:
Cold lead, one-haif ounce. Dircctions:
apply internally to the dogs hcad.-.St
LouiS CD.
A western exchange says: pyramid
Lake, in Nevada, has fallen eight and
Mud Lake has risen twenty feet in the
last year, And yet people have the cf-
frontcry to claim that Nevada is devoid
of excitement and growing Gull and un-
interesting
Johnny Gust after Sunday-SchooD- j.
"Say, Jack, what is sockdoapcrp'
Jack-"Why, don't you know? That's
what they sing in church when they pet
ready to 60 home. The minister gets
up and says: Let us now sing the sock,
dolager. '"-Boston Beacon
Two card-playing friends were passing
through pine forest in Maine, when
one asked the othor this audaciou,
conundrum: "Why cannot the proprietor
of this forest fell his own timbcr?h "Be-
cause no one is allowed to cut when it is
his own deal. ."-iSh0c and Leather Re
porter.
Yes" said Bobbys father, as he
strokcd his little boys head fondly,
Bobby is keeping bank for his odd
pennies and nickcls." "And how much
have you got saved up, Bobby?" asked
the visitor 'Twclvc cents" he replied,
"besides the 1926 pa owes H."-M.
Times.
'Shine 'em uppa?n said an Italian
bootblack to Pat, just landed. "Phats
the charger" asked Pat. olive centa. "
"Bcgorra," said Pat, as he seated him
self in the chair, at is q foinc country,
Ameriky, where poor Oirishman can
get his boots blacked by n gintleman
wild goold rings in his cars. ~. Y
Sun
Brown-"I don't see how YOU can
find time to 60 to church every Sunday.
Im sure | can't I've so much to do. "
Fogg-"Yes. l suppose you do turn off a
good deal of work Sundays. / wish |
could do it; but the fact is, can't &c
without my sleep as well as you can"
Wonder what he mcant!-BOStOm Tran-
script.
A little 3-year old who has several
times visited the dime museums with
his parents, was Sunday taken to church
with member of the family, and after
returning home was asked by his father
what he saw. WELL" said the young
ster, "a man got up and shook his arms
and talked; but / didn't like it much,
because they didn't let us sec the monk
| cys. st. Paul Pioncer-Prc&S.
I'm sorry" observed the parishioncr.
"that can't pay my pew-rcnt this quar-
tel" 'Tm very sorry too, Mr.. Jones, :"
returned the clergyman; 1prcsume you
lost your money gambling in stocks?"
''No, | can't say that did" "Thcn in
speculating in oil?" mo. To tell the
truth, did not. l attended your church.
fair tho other evening and got ropcd in
to n lottery" "On'-Puck
Two beggars, who ply their trade in
Fifth avenue, ,aro taking lcsurcl y stroll,
when they meet another of their guild
who lifts his hat to them with great re-
spcct. One of the two is about TO return
the salutation with equal suavity. "Hold
on!' cries the other; what are you up
toP" whats the mattcr?" "Why"--
with whitening contemplating bcgs in
the Fourth Wardr'-M Y MAIL
An eminent scientist attributes the re-
markablc longevity of woman who
recently died at the age Of 100 to the
| fact that she never wore n biph bonnet