Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1886-05-28
Aronrxs FROM wAsafSs roS.
How This Rainy May Weather Is Kept In the
background by the Jo,iai.

How This Rainy May Weather Is Kept In the
background by the Jo,isi
From the New York Herald,
Apropos of tho long drawn out oleomar
garine discussion, I am reminded of story
that Acting Secretary Of the Treasury Fair
child told q few evenings ago.
"A friend OF mine was sorely afflicted
with an impediment IN his Speech" said the
secretary. "His only way OF going ahead
with his conversation when he stuck on
word was TO think of its synonyme. He
could then utter the desired word without
difficulty. He WAS dining out one day aud
during the progress OF the meal began TO
stammer
"'Please ppass me the and there he
stuck.
"Think of the synonyme,' suggested u
neighbor who knew the mans weakness
"'There Is no synonyme Tor b.butter.
lie was right In all respects-there's moth
thiDg that Will take the place of butter
The Greatest of Hts KIND.
Under rough exterior Attorney General
Garland carries most genial nature. Not
one of his former colleagues in the United
States Senate but cherishes the kindest recol-
lecttons OF him. He was the most inveterate
practical tokefs ever known in that body, but
his fun never left a sting behind. lie has
never been known to lose his temper and.
unlike most practical jokers, he enjoyed fun
at his own expense. When they were
in the Senate together voorhees, and
Garland were always watching each other.
Though the " Tall Sycamore might have
the laugh on his rival one day, the situation
was certain to toe reversed before the earth
completed its next revolution. The tale re-
gsrding Voorhees, revenge 10y giving Car
land rosin soap caramel, Is u household
story throughout tho land. Judge Coke, OF
Texas, was the only man In the Senate of
that time who would not stand joking. lie
usually spoke in a voice as hoarse "a a
florists apprentice, but one day ne got eN-
cited when on his feet and spoke for an hour
in thunder tones that made the very walls
reverberate. Mr.. Garland pretended To be
entrsnced. He took front chair and sat
with his mouth sjsr, gazing steadily into the
judges face. When the speech ended Gar
land said, in his most reverentisl tone, as
though seltcommuning
Bless God tor that beautiful voice"
The remark raised laugh, and Coke is
| said 10 have felt so much incensed that he
| didn't even attempt 10 smile.
Coke Etiquette
Speak ing of Judge Coke to the congress
man from his state this evening drew out the
following The senator lives down on Sixth
street, in strict retirement Nobody /,
allowed to visit him without frs
sending mp his card. When the re
its height the front door was lett open on,
| evening. 1t happened that two of his
| political friends from Galveston were in tn,
city and seeking his residence Seeing Judg,
| Coke through the lighted window they as
| cended and knocked at his room door. Being
ask ed to enter the visitors stepped into tn,
| room, and were about to greet the senator
| joyiully, when he said
" Gentlemen, l regret to say that it is
] rule OF this house that the cards of visitor,
must always be sent up to me. ! have to re,
quest that you will observe the custom"
" Certainly we WILL" was the abashed re
ply as the visitors backed out of the apar'
ment They rang the bell, gave the servan
girl their cards and waited patiently 70
their return. They were anxious to humo
au old mans eccentricities. The girl reap
peared and the visitors almost tainted whe
she said
| Senator Coke is not in."