Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-07
BRIGHT BITS.

BAGLEY-"Come, sir, wish you would quit
| putting that smoke into my face"
Penstock-"Doesn't hurt the smoke, my
dear cir"
1T hurts me sir; ! detest the smell of to-
bacco"
MY dear sir, this IS not tobacco; it Is We
| cent cigar. "-Tt 6dcco Journal.
CANDIDATE to voter-"I believe you prom
| ised TO vote for me-"
Voter-"I don't recollect. I've promised 70
| vote for SO many fellers that L can't exactly
/ remember"
Take something's"
Don't care if | do. By the way. l believe /
| did promise to vote for you.'-Chicd00 Sun.
CHAMPoIREAE was dining a few friends.
| When dessert was placed on the table all his
| guests joined in complmenting him on the eX-
| Champoirean. intent on maintaining the
| family reputation for laundering, "do you
know we have by no means given you the best
we have|'-F From the French.
Mr.. BLIFFERs to his daughterj-Eliza, did
you read this article about List?
Eliza lat the planOl-Yes pa.
"Did you notice that he SAID people must
play the piano with their soulP"
Yes, pa"
"Well, Eliza. just put your hands IN your
pocket and play with your soul till Pm
through reading. "-OnaGhG World.
"WHY, my dear, what's the matter ?''
kindly asked lady of her friend.
"Oh, l feel Pm beginning to look quite DID,
Nonsense! Whatever put such an idea
into your headY"
Because" was the reply, 81 notice that
whenever | cross Broadway the policemen
never take my arm as they used to do."-
| Judge.
A DOG-CATCHER snatched from the arms OF
Miss Marian Booth her $1,000 black and tan
dog Doctor" as she was entering the Vic
torla Hotel. in New York. to ca on friend.
She promptly appealed for help, and man
who SAID he was an Alderman compelled the
dog catcher TO restore doctor" to his mis-
tress. Miss Booth is a niece of Edwin Booth,
an actress, and resides at 65 Irving place, New
York. She proposes to prosecute the dog
catcher.
THE HUNGRY PARSON.-Widow Flapiack-
I'm glad. Parson, that steps are being TAX en-
To prevent the determination of the Ameri-
can singing birds.
Pars3n surplus (who has been invited to
dinner)-So am 1, Widow Flapjack. but at
| the same time l am grateful to Providence
that chickens don't know how to sing.
Bring on the fried chicken, Betsy" said
the Widow Flapjack.-Teods S1ftin0s.
ALL the long summer through,
| Did that man tie my shoe:
Though but little he knew,
He could draperies repair;
While for braIding ones hair,
He was always right ''there;"
So what could do?
Now pray, dear, would not your
For hOrrid tie shoe
Needs great deal of care.
| And good maids are so rare
Who can do ones back hair
Pve consented. IT'S true;
He'll through life tie my shoe.
st. Paul Globe.
| GRAMMAR is so exact a science,
So perfect in Its main reliance
(Which is the marshaling of phrases
When poets sing OF love and daisies,
That from 1t we exact much pleasure,
And by its laws all progress measure.
One time being light and nimble,
Whose jewel was d silver thimble.
Refused me once-again refused me!
1t was a shame that thus she used mel
And when thought che would not marry,
did not nave the heart to tarrY.
Now, having lost what seemed perfection.
turned to reading and reflection:
Till, of my grammar once inquirng,
| ] found the truth-it was inspiring:
That words which twice express negation
Really imply an affirmation.
Quick to my own by letter flying,
l deep bemoaned my late deserving:
| And followed then with carriage duly
To prove that stlll loved her truly,
1t was too late; the plan miscarried-
My love had in the meantime married,
-Bosto@ Record,