Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1886-02-06
Tile Man Who Did Homework.


cross and peevish, because he
thought his wife never did enough
in the house.
lie came home one evening from
the hay field, cursing and scolding,
till things seemed to fairly glow
around him.
''Dear, don't be so angry" said
the woman, gin the morning we
will change work. | will go out
with the hay workers, and now,
while yon do the work at home"
Yes, the man thought this q good
idea, and was very willing to show
her thing or two.
So early in the morning the wo-
man took the scythe, and went out
in the meadow with the rest, to
NOW. The man was there to work
In the house. First, hemade ready
to churn, butafter churning awhile,
feeling very thirsty, he went down
cellar to tap some beer. Whiledo-
tie fancet open. NS Srfe 81 sFs:sa
him the pig ran against the churn
with disastrous consequences
When the man saw this mischief
done, and the pig greedily smack
ing and slipping Of the stream that
ran over the floor, he was ready TO
fly with rage, and completely for
getting the beer barrel, he punish
ed the pig AS best he could. He
reached it again in the door, and
gave a mighty kick that killed it
OH the spot.
Now he remembered leaving the
lancet open, but on going to the
cellar all the beer had run out. He
then went to the milk room, and
again found enough cream to fill
tile churn,. foI butter he must have
for dinner. When he had churned
awhile lie remembered that the COW
was yet in the stable, and had re-
ceived neither bite nor sup. though
it was late in the day. Thinking
IT would take too long to go to the
pasture, he concluded to put her on
the sod roof, on which grew short
green grass. As the hut lay by u
steep side hill, he thoughtby laying
plank from that to the roof, it
would be an easy matter to get the
COW up. But he dared not leave
the clurn, for the baby was crawl,
ing around on the floor, and might
upset it; so he took the churn on
his back, thinking he would give
the COW some water before putting
her on the roof. Leaning down to
dip water from the well, down came
the contents of the churn, delnging
his head and neck, then dripping
into the well.
1t was now near dinner tlme,and
as there was no butter. he thought
Of cooking muSh, and Immediately
hung a kettle of water over the fire
But now he betbonght himself, that
the COW might fall off the roof aud
break her legs, or neck, so he must
90 I'D TO tie her. One end of the
rope he bound around the cows
neck, and dropping the other thro
the chimney, he went down and
tied it around his leg, for the water
was boiling IN the kettle, and he
must make the mnsh. While do
ing this the COW fell. off the roo
and dragged him up the chimney
by the rope. There lie hung, ;
prisoner, while the poor Gov
dangled between heaven and earth
able neither to 60 up or down.
The wife had waited seven lon!
and broad hours, to be called home
to dinner, but no summons came
! At last she thought it was too long
and finally went home. Upon see
ing the COW hanging in such re
: variable manner, she quickly Gu
/ the rope with her scythc. At tn
same moment the man fell dow
!, the chimney, and his wife ioun
him standing on bis head i'll til
mush kettle.
THUS ended the woful experience
of man who found fault With hi
wife, and as this type Of the genu
homo is not confined to one natio
alone, let every man addicted to
similar practice, take solem
warning. Philadelphia Press.