The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1886-02-12

An old farmer from Wayback
County, who was brought before the
court for breaking the peace in a pro-
hibition county, told the following pa
thetic story;
"You see, Jedge, the whole trouble
came of my driakin' some OF that
n~ew-fangled temperance cider that |
amt use to, and which / don't believe
I'd ever get used to afore the horn
toots for the general Judgment.
81 war born and bred on a farm,
Jedge, an I've knowed apple juice
sence l war knee-high to a grasshop-
per. I've tempered with cider when it
war sweet, and I've tempered with it
when it war hard; I've drunk it just
from the press, an drunk it when it
carried a good strong bead; I've
laid across q barrel under the
wagon-shed and sucked it through a
rye-straw from the bunghole when it
war jest guilt-edged, and I've swigged
it when it was es hard es an an iron
wedge an sour 'nough to make a man
crosszeyed fur life; but, Jedge, upon my
sacred word, / never had no cider to
unnerve me like that they sell in this
town. ledge, it can't be the cider of
long ago; it can't be the cider OF me
boyhood's happy days.
"You see, Jedge, / druv inter town
with a load of sweet pertaters, an
after I'd sold out ! jest thought es
they don't sell anything stronger'n
cider in this here temperance town I'd
try o little of the good old drink of me
youth. An, Jedge, | tried 1T!
'HThere wal O. crowd of old friends
about the tavern, an / asked 'em up
to the apple juice, an then somebody
sed: Come up ag'in; an then an
other sed: Fill EN- up at my expense
an still another sed: Have one with
me afore you GO; an that's jest the
way it happened.
Somehow, ledge, it didn't taste
like the cider / val brought up on,
but the bottle had cider printed onto
it in gold "etters, an they sed it war
cider, an es long es the flavor of it
war agreeable / war'n't curious about
it. / only took five drinks, Jedge,
only five common tumblers full,
an then / begun to feel sort of queer,
Jedge.
81 never had no cider to make me
feel that way afore. / war furst weak
es a newborn calf, an then | war es
strong as old Sampson afore his head
war shaved. / thought Icould lift the
tavern, an | think ! tried to. My
minds not clear, Jedge but they say
I made a sort of hubbub. They say |
throwed a man over the bar an broke
a big looking-Plass with HIM, an scat
tered the whole congregation, an went
a howlin' down the main street askin'
for a man Of my strength, an at last
walked plumb through a show-winder
that they sed cost $3.50. Then / war
taken away to the prison cell. / dis
remember all the little particulars,
Jedge, but / suspect tibet all they say
about me is too true. / think | war
drunk, Jedge--I am Almost certain
sure / war drunk, an the new-fangled
temperance cider they sell in this here
town is to blame for it all.
~ kin drink Almost anything with
impunerty, an a little sugar, ledge,
an stand up under it es straight as
the steeple OF a meetin' house; / kin
drink peach brandy, and apple-jack,
an plain, humble old corn-juice half a
day, with the uoolintermission an
still be peaceable, law-abiding citizen,
but this here temp'rence cider is too
much fur me, Jedge; it's too much fur
the old man. Make it easy on me,fur
I'm done with temp'rance drinks lest
es long es / live, ledge"
And the Judge, who is very well ac-
quainted with the ways of town cider
in Wayback County, made it very easy
on the old man.-Detroit Free Press.