The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-03-11
A CUTE REPORTER.

It's common saying. that it is not
always wise to take people by their
looks. l had at one time. a junior as
sistnnt who had quite harmless and
innocent look, and a manner to all ap-
pearances, frank, open and friendly.
He was not clever as a reporter. but he
at all times made such display OF will
ingness that his defects were, perhaps,
winked at. He had shy, insinuating
way with him, and when he wanted
favor he invariably managed to get it.
1 remember he had private cupboard
in the office, and in this he kept books
OF reference, pots of honey writing
materials, bundles of cigars, sponge
cakes, and bottles of wine. British and
foreign; the foreign was for those who
could assist him, and the British was
for himself and for people from whom
all he wanted was their good opinion
He had at times a peculiar. silly, al
most idiotic manner, but there was al
ways some method in his madness.
remember he and went once to re-
port meeting. He was an incompet-
ent e-taker, but would undertake to
report anything, and trust for way out
of the difficulty. When we reached the
office in order TO write the out speeches,
he suddenly exclaimed, You must be
rather fatigued MIR. --, have glass
of wine, and biscuit ?" both of which
he produced eagerly and offered with
apparent sincerity. There was always
found to be something behind these
spontaneous exhibitions of generosity,
and in this instance it was not long
manifesting itself. His great difficulty
was with the notes he had taken, they
were incorrect and incomplete and he
knew it, and to cover the defect he
smoothed my features with wine and
biscuit, and then offered to write out
the whole meeting at my dictatiOn, an
arrangement which relieved me of man
ual labor and him from ignominious
failure. The scheme was so prominent
stood by his colleagues, and when any
of them received a cigar at his hands
he asked himself, What shall l be
asked to do for this?"
This young gentleman once did a
clever thing to worm himself into the
good graces of a young lady whose
father had retired from business, and
who had prospects which entitled her
to considerable choice in matrimonial
wav. The girls father seeing the at
tention that was being bestowed upon
his daughter, delivered himself of an
emphatic protest against the continu-
ance of the engagement, thereupon
this young schemer gave up his visits,
but not his efforts to attain his object
The young lady's father was firm be-
lever in phrenology, and placed i'm
plicit reliance in the statements of its
professors. Soon after this rupture a
celebrated American phrenologist visit
ed the town ssfor the purpose of lectur-
ing and making chronological examine
tions. The junior reported one of this
gentleman lectures and made himself
known to the lecturer, who, (for rea-
sons which may be understood without
being fully explained) made much of
our young friend and in due course pre-
pared chart his chronological de-
velopment. Be.ore this was done, the
young gentleman had told the profess
sor that he wanted the chart for par
ticular purpose. Whether under the
thar was necessary in
order to insure the discovery of bumps
which would indicate remarkable men
tai power and social qualifications 1
know not, but this 1 know, that the
written description of the organs of
his head was of a character that no
ordinary man need have been ashamed
Of His name was purposely omitted
from the document, which. in double
quick time found itself in the hands of
the young lady, the young fellows
dearly beloved. with special instruc-
tons regarding the way in which it was
to be brought to the notice of the pater-
nal parent. Seeing paper lying upon
the table, the father very neatly took it
up, and perused it eagerly. He saw
how nicely balanced were the develop
ments, and what promise they display
ed, and in the excusable enthusiasm of
the moment, s; to his daughter: eff
you will find young man with head
like this, will not withhold my con-
sent for moment" Poor fellow, he
little knew the history or the mystery
of the deception. He was fairly caught.
"Why pa" exclaimed the girl in delight,
THAT is Mr.. :" In a year the young
couple were married. REPORTERS Jour