St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1886-07-22
THE ELDER BENEFITS WRATH.

In the days of the elder Bennett
Ned wilkins did the drama and the
opera for the New York Herald. AL
bOni was singing at the Academy of
Music. Before going to the Academy
Ned thought he would take in Pfaff's
on the way. He did, and he took in
hot WHISTLES with Halleck and the gay
company. Before losing his senses he
called for a newspaper and looked over
the cast of the opera. Then he dashed
off criticism of many pages, called a
waiter, gave him a dollar and told him
to hurry at once to the Herald office
with the critique. There were no mes
senger boys then. Next day all the
morning papers save the Herald had a
couple of lines each stating that there
was no performance at the Academy
owing to sudden indisposition of AL
bOni. Old Mr.. Bennett did not see the
statement. But he did see the Times
and Tribune on the Herald's blunder.
They maintained that that was on
par with the Herald's claimed corre-
spondence from Thebes, Damascus,
Bagdad and Jerusalem. Bennett was
wild. The joke went over the country.
Nearly every paper had slap at Ben
nett. AS he read them day after day
he would jump from his chair and tear
through the office shouting in his broad
Scotch accent, "Oh, the dom fool
Where is heq Where is he ?" But
Fred Hudson gave Ned the hint that
Old Sandy was in towering passion,
and, like discreet young man, he did
not put in an appearance, except to
draw his salary of $35 week, for two
weeks.
Just as Old Sandy's wrath had cooled
and Ned was once more in favor, a bad
error occurred in Mr.. Benefits editOri
ais. In those days many of the regu-
lar hands in the cOmpOsing-rOOm put
on substitutes on Sunday. Those sub
stitutes were and are called "sub" for
short. Mr.. Bennett had written for
Mondays paper an editorial about the
| Spanish government, and he abridged
the word "gov't," believing, of course,
that the printer had sense to spell it
out. But a "sub' got hold of the copy,
and the proOf-reader that night was in
maudln state. The "sub" set it up
the "Spanish goat" in every instance,
and so it appear ed to Old Sandy's as
tOnished gaze the following morning.
Then there was music in the Herald
Office. Bennett could eat no breakfast.
He came with the speed of a crazed
and ruined man from Mount Washing
ton to the Office. He glared at Hudson.
He asked for Bill Smythe, the foreman
of the composing room. He wanted to
know if everybody in the building and
about the building was "- fool ?"
"Tt's a subs blunder," said Fred
Hudson.
'Its a subs error" said Bill Smythe.
"What's sob 2 shouted Mr.. Ben
nett. "Is it a mule or a lunatic ?"
"Sob" was explained to him, and as
he was leaving in despair he met a
young man on the stairway smoking
cigar.
"Don't you know" Numbered Ben
nett, "that it's against the rules to
smoke in this building p
"No, sir, l do not" answered the
smoker with fear and trembling.
"Then who are you, and what do
you want here 2" asked Bennett, ready
to pitch the smoker down stairs.
"I'm only SUBJ" was the implOr-
ing answer.
been making all the blenders Go
up stairs and get your pay and never
come into this building again."
Before reaching the foot of the stairs
Mr.. Bennett met Ned Wilkins going
up and whistling lively air from the
latest opera.
"Whistling is it! This is your sOr
row for the misery you have caused
me You'll live on kale, Ned, two
weeks more. Not a cent will you
draw" and the great old man passed
Ned all broken up. But Fred Hudson
paid Ned his salary all the same.
No more tender hearted man than
the elder Bennett ever lived. His fury
was always over in couple of hours
and he had fatherly liking for every
emplOye of the Herald.