The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1886-09-09
NOAH'S ARK.

his sons succeeded in completing the
ark to their satisfaction, and, having
fioated it, they brought it next the
shore. adjusted the g~ang-plank and
fixed the time for all the chosen ami
mails to appear for em~barkation. On
the morning of the appointed day Noah
took his station at the head of the gang
way with his long list ready for check
ing, while his three sons prepared to
usher the animals to their proper quar-
tiers.
"Now, this proposed voyage of
Noah's had excited much talk among
the neighbors, and consequently many
idle and curious people came down to
see the departure. Among them was a
worthless, ribald fellow, Eli by name,
a f%requenter of inns and sinful places,
who made himself conspicuous as he
sat on a stump and endeavored to chaff
the diligent Noah.
"Think it's going to rain, hey, Noah?"
he shouted, glancing around at the
lowering sky.
"Certainly!' replied the great wealth
er profit, briskly beginning work. 1.-TWO
lions, tally!"
"MuchP" queried his interrogation.
Biggest rains yet. Two bears, tally!
butt warned you long since. Don't
bother me now at the last minnit, I'm
busy. Two Guinea pigs, tally! Stop
crowding so, you beasts. There's lots
of time" and the good man mo-
toned the pressing animals back with
his style.
want any helpp" ventured Eli.
"No-pe?" Two tigers, tally!"
~Tll ship cheap"
"Lemme lone; Pm busy. Two pan
theirs, tally!"
Taking any passengers?"
t-No!" Numbered the exasperated
seer, but mastering himself, continued
in milder tones: Two antelopes,
tallyi!"
Better try and make a little that
way. You're going too much on live
freight"
Two sheep, tally! Can't you keep
stiH?' implored the prophet.
I'D like to work my passage" per-
sisted the obnoxious man.
Il won't take one fool. Two goats,
taily!"
80, we'd make a pair" so that's no
excuse"
1.-TWO hogs, tally!" cried Noah, ig-
noring the wicked man.
.'Um. 1 don't think it's going to
rain much anyhow" the worthless fell
1nr hon rlo1 ~1o,. .,o, IL
sky.
Il hope you'll find it is" replied the
checker vindictively. 1.-TWO eleph-I"
"Ah, there! Look out, Noah!'' sud-
denly yelled the discordant Eli. ''Those
elephants are smuggling goods on
you"
''WhereP' cried the startled Noah,
scrutinizing the animals for contra
bands.
LIN their trunks" replied the trifer,
and all the wicked people lining the
shore set up a shout at the discomfort
ed weather prophet.
For a time the embarkation went for
ward without disturbance. Eli slowly
ate a huge slice of watermelon, and
silently contemplated the proceedings
while the people discussed the sight.
Having finished the melon, Eli threw
the rind to a COW, wiped his mouth on
the back of his hand, and shouted:
|'Look out, Noah, there 90 two female
doves in on your
ssStop! you doves" cried Noah, hur-
riedly erasing the tally mark. '.Now
don't you try that game on me, and he
shook his style Indignantly.
ssRut fatbor tho bird ipcictc hos q
male, cried Japhet who was versed in
the language of fowls, and who had
rushed up on seeing the commotion.
Don't you believe her," vociferated
Eli. She's fooling you. I guess I
know a she bird when | see her."
"Um!' faltered Noah, beginning to
perspire in his quandary, this is seri-
Gus and must be settled at once, Dr. we
shall ultimately be in difficulty.'1
"YiT' balled the exultant Eli; "can't
you tell a male from a female bird?
Sho! / don't believe you know whether
it's going to rain or not"
..How am I to know anything?"
groaned the perplexed Noah. 'Tm
ouly good on weather probabilities.
Help me out there, Eli, will you, that's
a good fellow, and / will remember and
see if I can't find a place for you when
the cargo's all aboard"
.sWell," drawled the Modified Eli,
Sin that case 1 don't mind telling you
the secret. It's a very old method,
though, and so simple that I'm sur
prised that such a weather sage as
Yourself never discovered or heard
.sWhat is itP, asked the anxious
Noah. We'll have to pay closer at
tention to these birds, or there will
surely be trouble"
.sWell, now," cheerfully replied Eli,
<.pull its ears, and if he squeaks it's a
he. and if she squeaks it's a She" And
while the idle people hoarsely laughed