San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-04-26
Merry Marriage Bells.

A few evenings ago a young man OF
! this city, whom we will name Jones las
he comes Of a respectable family and we
would spare their feelings) called upon
| his best girl, Miss b. An eyewitness
states that he saw the family bulldog
make a short circle and attack Jones
vigorously from the rear. Jones saw at
once that the dog meant business, and
as retreat was impossible, and being
very near-sighted, Jones jumped through
the parlor window, which he had sup
posed was open. Jones went sprawling
on to the middle Of the floor, full OF
glass, agony and impressions OF the
bulldog.
Miss BIS brother, who was a retired
pugilist of note, seeing Jones apparent
ly tearing up the parlor carpet and
smashing the front windows, swore at
Jones and thumped him so frightfully
that Jones laid fiat upon the floor wait
ing for the entire building to fall on and
crush him. Jones afterwards said that he
did not know there was mule in that
parlor until he (Jones) had been killed.
A light step in the hallway. Miss b.
entered. Explanations and regrets were
heaped upon Jones, but none regretted
the misfortune like Jones himself, who
for a long time refused TO be comforted.
But finally, looking into the beautiful
dreamy eyes Of his girl, he said he would
forgive her, but he never could forget
the fierce eye of that dog. Jones begged
the family to allow him to stand as he
had many pressing reasons for wishing
to maintain an erect posture.
Miss B., upon seeing the fearful abra-
sions upon her Jones's features, became
terribly excited, and instead Of tincture
OF arnica, produced a bottle OF double
strength nitric acid, which she applied
with great vigor to Jones's sore neck
and head. The members Of that family
will never forget the awful yell that es-
capped from Jones as he vanished over the
back fence like q meteor darting across
the heavens. Poor Jones, broken down
In fortune and health, now applied to the
Poor Mans Friend, who loaned himto
sum of money and gave him advice as a
his future course. The advice was never
to give up the Bridge, but to storm the
same Fortress again. Jones immedi-
ately carried out his Uncles instructions
and at once proceeded to have his tripe-
colOred pantaloons lined with boiler
iron. All, happy was Jones as he walked
calmly into Miss BIS front yard. A
cracking twig, and his old enemy was
upon him. There was a sound Of break
ing teeth and broken Jaws, and in a
twinkling, the dog was out OF sight.
Jones smiled serenely and walked as
quickly to the Outstretched arms OF his
sweetheart as the great weight OF his
clothing would permit. Jones was
warmly received mot quite as warmly as
previously and everything is now on
solid basis as to future operations. The
happy event will be celebrated as soon
as Jones is well enough to accept the
trying ordeal as becomes the occasion.
There will be no cards. Jones thanks
Uncle Jesse Emerson for all his bright
future prospects, and the future Mrs.
Jones says that Mr. Emerson holds the
Bridge to help the Girls as well as the
Boys over.
p. S.-Jones expects to accept posi-
ton on the editorial staff of the Texas
Siftings, and says that your Uncle En-
erson is as good as paid-up subrcriber
for one year.