The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-09-04
How Some Married w men Go to Sleep.

How Some Married Women Go to Sleep. |
There is an article going the rounds
entitled "How the Girls Go to Sleep
The manner In which they 60 to
sleep, according to the article, can't
hold candle to the way married
woman goes to sleep.
Instead of thinking what she should
have attended to before going to bed.
she thinks of 1t afterward. While
she is revolving these matters in her
mind. and while snugly tucked up in
bed, the old man Is scratching his
head in front of the fire and wonder.
ing how he will pay the next months
rent. Suddenly she exclaims:
flames did you lock the door2"
(which door ?" says James,
1.-THE cellar door," says she.
mo" says James.
"Well, you had better go down
and lock it. for I heard some one in
the back yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down
the stairs and locks the door. About
the time James returns and is going
to bed she remarks:
ibid you shut the stair-door ?'
mo" says James.
"Well, if it is not shut that cat will
get up into the chamber"
"Let it come up, them" says James
ill-naturedly.
"My gracious, no I" says his wife,
"she'd suck the baby's BREATH"
Then James paddles down stairs
again and steps on tack, and closes
the stair-door, and curses the cat, and
returns to the bedroom. Just as he
begins to climb into his couch his
wife observes
II forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring up some in the
big tim"
And James, with muttered curse.
goes down into the dark kitchen and
falls over a chair. and rasps all the
tinware off the wall in search of the
"big" tin, and then jerks the stair.
door open and bowls: "Where the
duce are the matches ?"
She gives him a minute direction
where to find the matches. and adds
that she would rather 60 and get the
water herself than have the whole
neighborhood raised about it. After
which James finds the matches, pro-
cures the water and GENES upstairs
plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says: James,
let's have an understanding about
money matters. Now, next week
Pve got to pay"
II don't know what you've got to
pay and don't care" shouts James. as
he lurches around and jams his face
against the wall. "all want is Sleep"
"That's all very well for you"
snaps his wife, as she pulls the covers
viciously; ''you never think of the
worry and trouble have. And there
Is Araminta, who l believe is taking
the measles"
"Let her take 'em," says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly,
but about the time james is falling
into a gentle doze she punches him
In the ribs with her elbow and says:
ibid you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jones ?"
where? says James, sleeplly.
"Why, Mrs. Jones'"
"Where 2" inquiries James.
~ Declare" said his wife. "you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No.
%? Well. day before yesterday Susan
Smith told Mrs. Thompson that Sam
Barker had said that Mrs. Jones
had"
Here she paused and listened.
James is snoring in profound slum-
Der. With a snort of rage she pulls
all the covers off him, wraps up in
them, and lies awake until 2 A. M.
thinking how badly used she is.
And that is the way some married
women 60 to sleep.-Er.
nh Dat rh;Il Mad;o;r.