Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-12-11
MINING JOURNAL.
sATURDAY MORNING. DEC II, 1856
HUMOR.

Nertlseu Ior saving money what for
tune it would take. -Terds Siftings
1T is the girl whose pa is sound
Financially-has lots OF Doodle
Who with ribbon drass AROUND
The citys streets a tiny poodle
boston Courier.
If every dog has his day, we wish
that the dogs to whom belong these
days would be off with them. Boston
Post.
A MARRIED couple who are dumb
never quarrel. At least, they never
have any words together. -Teras SIT
angs.
BoUDo1R reflections, by young lady
of certain age"-It is easier to get
your back hair than your hair back. -
Judy.
"THERE's coolness between u.s."
said the sea captains to each other
when an iceberg passed between their
ships.
THE newly made bride may be witty
Or stupid, It's small matter which,
I The maiden inquiries il she's pretty,
The youth wants to know II she's rich
Boston Courier.
THERE is a suspicion that old man
Hamlet, of Denmark, was shoemaker,
from his sons remark: Take him for
anvil and awl, we shall not look upon
his like again. "-Boston Bulletin.
AN old maid school teacher declares
that any woman who is fool enough to
get married ought to lose her place.
IN. B.-She has stood ready to lose
her place any time these last thirty
years.)
LITTLE Boston boys can buy pie with
postage stamps. When they haven't
any stamps of their own they steal them
from their employers. This is wicked,
bf course, but little Boston boys must
have pie.-Puck.
HEAD of the house-"Where's the
pitcher of beer?" Poy-"Ma's clothes
got on fire and 1 grabbed up the beer
and threw it ON her to put out the
flames" Head of the house-"I want
you to understand that beer costs
money: Anybody'd think you were
born with gold spoon iE your mouth"
lid Bits.
90, ISN'T it lovely night, Adolphus?
just fancy how delightful the nights
must be in the Orient! The azure klue
sky, the perfume OF the flowers, the
soft tinkling-" II tell you, Miriam
da, dear, prefer the nights they have
in Alaska. They're just immense. I"
Immense, Adolphus?" Eyes, for
counting. They're so long, you know"
philadelphia Call.
A BLITHEsoME Grasshopper danced
and sang the Summer through, and put
IN his Spare Time disregarding and
jeering at the Advice of Laborious
Elderly Ant, his Uncle, who warned
him that his Course of Conduct was
not getting the Baby dressed. Winter
came, and Simpson & Co. stared the
Thoughtless Insect in the Face. But
just then the Ant died of Overwork
and Insufficient Nourishment, leaving
the Grasshopper, his Sole Heir, to
revel in his Hoarded Wealth. We learn
from this Fable not to despise Patient
Industry-in our Elderly Relatives
Puck.
BISHOP FUTILE, whom [ remember
as bright-eyed boy, was once jour-
neying on horseback over q corduroy
road, when he met settler whose
heavily loaded team was shipwrecked
in the mud. In minute he was OF his
horse, had put his stout shoulders to
the half-buried wheel, and sent the
horses on their way rejoicing. The
gratified owner of the establishment
looked at his black-coated rescuer curl.
ously and said: "Who be you, any
how?' "I'm Bishop of the church."
said "Dan," the prelate, once more his
dignified self. "Wa-al," replied the
native, II don't know what a Bishop
be, but know you're id good fell.
low. Let's have somethin' out of the
bottle. Cor. PHILADELPHIA Record.
THE PRIZE ESSAY.
She left the crowded platform and
The air was filled with cheers,
Her essay was so sweetly blent
In mingled smiles and tears.
Her subject "Woman's Mission" was;
She treated it with care,
And showed the line of noble names
Of women wise and rare.
"Oh, do not think to We'd" she said
"A slave unto the ring.
Ills better far, in fancy's flight
To soar on freedom wing.
TOO prone arc to think" cried she,
That marriage is the goal
To which each maiden's pathway tends,
And all lifes currents roll
"My voice is still for liberty
No bonds of love for me!
III show the world happy sight
spinster wisely free!"
Sho tripped away amid the flowers
That flew from far and wide;
In Just four months she was, OF course
proud md happy bride
--CleUelQ7ld Sun and Voice