davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
BROTHER GARDNER.
Limeiziln Philosophy Dealt Out in Multum
in Parvo Doses.

in Parvo Doses.
/ long ago dun made up my mind
dat average humanity expects too
much on dis airth, an dat we am all
too selfish to really injoy ourselves.
If we plan fur huckleberry excur-
shun we look fur dry weather, no mat
ter how much our naybur's con an
taters want rain.
Ii dar am any. danger of spring frosts
we expeck dey Will lly ober our garden
an light down on somebody else's
truck-patch.
We expeck cyclones now an den in
de material order of fings, but we doan'
expeck 'em to hit our eand of de
county. We am sorry fur sich people
as was in de way, but dey orter bin
som ers else, you know.
If we take in a tramp over night we
expeck him to be honest an grateful.
If anybody else takes in one an gifts
beat, our vardIct am dat it saryed 'em
right.
We expeck to git de big eand of de
trade when we swap hosses wild man,
but if we diskiver dat we hev bin
cheated we want de law to punish him
for a swindler.
Moas' of US am willin' to take our
chances on matrimony. if de gal am
good-lookin' or de young man has
cash, but when de rollin' pins begin to
fly we blame our friends dat dey didn' t
warn us.
If we lose our pocket-book we argy
dat de pusson who find it am as bad as
thief If he doan' return it. Ii we
find some one else's pocket-book We
well, it comes like pullin' teeth to let
go.
We respeck our naybur, but we want
our beets an cabbage an onions to
keep about week ahead of his.
We doan know of any perticl1ler
reason why lightnin' should strike our
BAN, but we kin furnish half q dozen
reasons why it should burn bans all
around us.
We begin in October to predict a
mild winter, an if we happen to git
one we kick like steer de mex sum
mer bekase we hev to pay mo- fur ice.
tell ye, my frens, when | come to
realize jlst what a queer piece OF clay
we am, an how much workin ober
we need to come out perfeck, l can t
wonder ober de shoutin' and hurrahin'
in Heaben when one of us grown folks
finds his way in.-Detr0t Free Press.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
A HUGE SERPENT.
a Reptile Which Chases Cattle and Drives
Grown People Nearly Frantic.
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.I !

Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.i
Butler, Ohio, has been in feverish state
of agitation since last Sunday by the re-
port of monster snake that has been
seen in the i'm mediate vicinity. Last Sun
day Nick Corbin, one OF the Oldest and
most esteemed citizens, and whose ve-
racity is unquestioned, went about mile
out of town in search of lost pig, and as
he was passing through thicket Of black.
berry bushes his attention was attracted
by some cattle that were rushing frantic.
ally toward the river, and on searching
for the cause of the strange action of
the cattle his attention was called to
a strange, whirring noise in the
bushes behind him, and on looking round
was almost paralyzed at the sight of an
immense monster of the snake species. 1t
was of dark brown color, with fiat
head, and at least twenty five feet long.
1t was standing with its head about ten
feet from the ground, waving from one
side to the other in an excited manner.
Corbin suddenly thought of some business
in town that needed his attention. He
succeeded in getting away without at
tTdCtllS VIC l1OuSteT' dtuouUlOn, anu Win
all the speed he could command he rushed
to Butler and spread the report; and the
people having the utmost confidence in
his veracity, armed themselves with guns,
clubs, and other weapons that were handy,
and about p. m. about seventy-five
men started for the place where the snake
had been seen.
The place was surrounded and with the
utmost precaution, led on by Uncle Nick,
the men gradually closed in, but no snake;
but there were unmistakable signs of its
having been there short time before, and
after searching for short time trail,
which looked as if a log had been drawn
on the ground, was found leading toward
the Ohio river. Several men followed the
trail till dark set in and then returned to
town. 1t is thought by a great many to
be the same snake 80 often seen by resi-
dents of Moscow, o., as the trail led in
that direction. The excitement has not
yet subsidized, and blackberres are going to
waste in the community.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

SAFE, permanent and complete are the
cures of bilious and intermittent diseases,
made by Prickly Ash Bitters Dyspepsia,
general debility, habitual constipation, liv-
er and kidney complaints are speedily erad-
icated from the system. 1t disinfects,
cleanses and eliminates all malaria. Health
and vigor are obtained more rapidly and
permanently by the use of this great nat
ural antidote than by any other remedy
heretofore known. AS a blood purifier and
tonic 1T brings health, renewed energy and
vitality to worn and diseased body.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
YOURS IN HASTE

Iloved that dainty monogram,
With three Slim letters interlaced, - N
Ab0vetbeno nofes She used to write
Signing them eyer: Yours in haste"
The world was young, and so was Il
How sweet TO think that in the whiri
She kept one moment all for me,
10 glad my heart-my radiant grill
The world is old, and so am +;
And since my love became my wife,
1t seems to me I've somehow been
Too late for every thing in life.
With ribbons flying. gown awry,
With painting breath and boots unlaced,
True to her VOWS of yore she's been,
Both now and ever-mine "in haste"
Julie K. Wethe'fu, IN Century.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

DR.. PIERCE's "Favorite Prescription"
perfectly and permanently cures those dis
eases peculiar to females. 1t is tonic and
nervine, effectually allaying and curing
those sickening sensations that affect the
stomach and heart, through reflex action.
The backache and "dragging-down" sem
sations all disappear under the strengthen
ing effects of this great restorative. By
druggists.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

YouNe men or middle-aged ones, suffer
ing from nervous debility and kindred
weaknesses should send 10 cents in stamps
for illustrated book suggesting sure means
OF cure. Address Worlds DispensaIy Med
ical Association, 663 Main Street, Buffalo,
nv
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
. The leprous distilment, whose effect

Holds such enmity with blood of man.
That swift as quicksilver, it courses through
The natural gates and alleys of the body"
and causes the skin to become "barked
about, most lazar-like, with vile and loath-
some crust" Such are the effects of dis
eased and morbid bile, the only antidote
for which is to cleanse and regulate the
liver-an office admirably performed by
DR.. Pierce's ''Golden Medical Discovery
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
-"For what do we study?" asked

-"For what do we study?7 asked
the school-teacher, as the class stood
before him. There was a silence, for
most be vs can't see any use in study
ing, ANYHOW. Then the EDITORS little
boy, who was one of the class, recol-
lecting the motto at the head of his
fathers 5 paper, raised his hand and
shouted: II know. We study to
please" Chicago Tribune.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
Attacked by WeaSels.


Mr.. Maclaren. a game keeper of
Wick, Caithness-shire, has had q very
narrow escape Of his life from an attack
made on him by a number of weasels.
The story of Bishop Hatto, if mythical
insitself, has yet foundation IN fact.
Rats have before now eaten children,
and sewer men have a wholesome ter
ror of them when they come in large
numbers. \. In this case the weasels
seem to have attacked Maclaren much
as a. swarm of bees would have edone;
and had they reached his neck he might
have had perilous time of it. He
brought home with him eight OF the
ferocious little oTea atures in scorrobor a.
ton of his story. This is the second
time he has been so assailed, it seems
On each occasion he has had to tight
desperately -St. James Gazette IA. g
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
, .,r-c of death. cavad

SNATcHED from the jaws Of DEATH saved
from the grave-are sample expressions IN
letters from ladies who have been relieved
from lives of misery and suffering by En-
glish Female Bitters.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

A Box OF GLENN's SULPHUR SOAP is equiv
alent to many Sulphur Baths. Don't for
get it.
H1LL's HAIR AND WHIsKER DYE, Black or
Brown, SOC.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

If a cough disturbs your sleep, take
Piso's Cure for Consumption and rest we'll
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

MORN physique and less physic is what
the average American needA-HercAaat
IrGseleT.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

"GoING to learn to dance, Claudea"
ssXes, Eve taken steps in that direction"
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

For removing dandruff and curing all
scalp diseases, use HalPs Hair Renewer.
Ayers Ague Cure is acknowledged to be
the standard remedy for fever and ague
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
>->->

-Reidsville (Ga.) hunters had fun
for three hours the other day chasing
a catamount. It was shot nine times
before it was killed. M ltt1Er
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

A Pittsburgh colored woman was
heard informing a neighbor that the
last storm frightened her 50 that shs
shook like an ashpan-''
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

No, MY boy, the ryse In wheat will barley
make a man cereal well, if he gets corned
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

If there is any one who should be trapped
in slumber'' it is the man who snores.-
Chicago Tribune.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

MADE of all work-ths newsraper.-Bos-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

IT is sleepy old coat that has had no
nap in seven years.-iSt. Louis Chronicle.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

THE pupil of ones eye is made to attend
to business by the lash that is ever held
over it.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

A GREEN turtle can live six weeks with
out food. That is why it is green.-Pitts-
bsrgh Chronicle.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

"A curiosity of engineering, IN the
form of tiny steam engine. has been
made by an in genious clock maker. 1t
weighs only about fifteen grains. and
is entirely covered by an ordinas55.Ey
thinble Chicago Inter- Ocean,
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
The clever wife of a professor

The clever wife of a professor in a
Western college once wrote as follows
in one of those confession books where
people put down their opinions on all
sorts of subjects. in answer to the
question: What is youridea Of hero
ine?n ..An educated American woman
who does her own housework.n
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04

WHEN singers voice fails he can not
take up his notes.-LoaceH Citizen.
Huntsville gazette., 1886-09-04
Delays Are Dangerous

The time TO take medicine is when Nature 49,
her first warning. That tired feeling is often tbs
forerunner Of serious disease which NAV be- yva. sus
of If you attend to yourself in time Don't a. IN
your system is all run down and you are obligod -
stop work, but take Hoods Sarsaparilla now 70 70
will purify, vitaze and enrich your blood. crs..N
an appetite and tone the digestive organs crvs
headache, biIiousness and dyspepsia, rouse az
regulate the liver AMI kidneys and give strenrth i
the wilcle body.
- have seen the value Of Hoods sarsaparlla in
also used it in my family with perfect satisfactor
We believe it to be everything that is claimed n,
it." A. W. KEENE, deputy warden, State Prison
Charlestown, Mass.
Having been afflicted with a complication " Al.
orders, the result of impure blood, took Hoods
Sarsaparilla- and the result perfectly satstaa
tory" MRS. J. BARTON, New Haven. al
, 1886-05-28
OLD WORLD FANATICS.
The Laws of God VS.. The Laws of the
= United states.

In a combination car attached to this
morning eastern bound passenger, were
the Mormons recently sentenced in the
Blackfoot, Idaho court, to terms in the
house of correction in Detroit. Mich.
With them were also two Cinnamon, sem
fenced for selling whisky to the Indians of
the Blackfoot reservation. The interest.
ing combination was in charge of United
States Marshal Dubois, assisted by Sheriff
w. ii. Jones, of Oneida county, Under
Sheriff c. j. Basscti, of Bingham county,
and deputies #. III. Grierson and George
ii. Green.
Ofthe eleven Mormon prisoners ten
are sentenced for one year each for unlaw-
full cob ibitation Six months Is the limit
for this offence, but each of the c%onvicts is
paving for two indictments. The eleventh
Mormon has a year ssscntence for polyg
amy. The Cinnamon also get one year
each. These gentry look upon the situa-
ton with the true Oriental eye of iudlf-
ere ice, and say, Mormon and China
men heap rascals together" The repor
ter talked with Nelson Graham, OF Mink
creek-the polvgamous hot bed-and the
leading spirit Of the sanity parry. This is
the individual who has lately had a revel
allon' and on the strength OF this divine
hob mob, instructed the judge as to the
relative positions of the law OF God n
the laws OF the United States
Graham Is a thorough paced fanatic.
lie honestly thinks that contract papers
between himself and the Lord have been
actually attested with the divine seal, and
that lie labors among the saints be-
meath a corner OF the holy mantle. This
exponent oil O~mnipotence prophesled Tor
his convict following, and gave the re-
porter many Interesting points that had
been conhded to him by his familiar
friend, the Ruler OF the Universe.
lie said that the present prosecution
was but the trial OF the faith; that the
Mormon religion was under Divine pro
lection; that the laws OF God were supe-
rlor to the laws OF the United States, and
that not one OF the party who at present
were suffering with him would ever ac-
knowledge any law but that personally
transmitted to the saints from above.
As soon as the present sentences are
served out there Is no doubt but these
, 1886-05-28

ID. G. Wyatt, the West Denver banker
is in the city. Mr.. Wyatt is interested
largely with other Colorado capitalists in
North Laramie lands, and has Just returned
from that section. Ground has been well
broken on a ditch that is to be l6 miles il
length. A mile and a half of this ditcl
has been completed and next week will Sc,
the completion Of another mile. Tn,
ditch comes out of the North Laramie
just below the canon, and will cover som,
5000 acres of land in the FORKS of the two
Laramies. The work already done is the
most difficult and after the completion Of
the third mile the work will go rapidly
forward. Quite a piece of engineering
work was required at first, it being nee
essary to raise the water over a bluff $50
feet in height. The lands will be put ON
the market or cultivated by the projectors,
as circumstances may dictate.
, 1886-05-28

Piles are frequently preceded by a sense
of want of weight in the back, loins and
lower part OF the abdomen, causing the
patient to suppose he has some affection
of the kidneys or neighburing organs. AT
tines, symptoms ofindigestion are present
aatulency, uneasiness Of the stomach. etc.
A moisture like perspira.ion, producing a
very disagrceable itching, after getting
warm, is a common attendant. Blind,
bleeding and itching piles yieI1 at ono to
the application of llr. .Bosanko's Pie
Remedy, which acts directly TN the parts
effected, absorbing the tumors, a~llaying
the intense itching, and effecting a per
manent cure. Price 80 cents. Address
The DR.. Bosanko Medicine Co., Piqua,
0. Sold by w. N. Hunt.
, 1886-05-28
The Floral Car.

California splendid contribution to the
floral decorations Of Gen. Grants tomb
on Memorial day, passed through the city
yesterday morning, attached TO the east
ern passenger train. An immense crowd
was in attendance at the depot, among
which the neat badges of the G.. A. X.
were proudly conspicuous. The ear was
IN charge of Col. j. l. Lyon, special aide
de camp of the department of California,
assisted by G. A. Fuller, also a special
aide de camp.
The interior was under the care of ii.
NJ. Sanborn, the well known florist, who
has long had the management of the
famous towering gardens of James Hutch
inson, Of Oakland The flowers are from
these gardens. and Mr.. Sanborn's expert
enced supervision is not the least valuable
Of Mr. Hutchinson's contributions to the
memorial. Every care is taken of the
flowers. Ice is constantly renewed, and
the blossoms and plants are as fresh as
when they left Oakland. The car was
thrown open for a short time to crafty
the enthusiastic curiosity Of the eapel
crowd, and the interior presented indeed a
ravishing sight.
Arranged in every luxuriant form that
fancy could dictate or taste devise, the
semi tropical blossoms glowed with gor
geous beauty, or Nodded in languorous
sweetness. The bull bull that pours his
ravishing stratus through the gardens OF
Ind and the vale oi Cashmere. never fit
ted amid more brilliant hues or gathered
inspiration from sweeter perfumes.
, 1886-05-28

The accomplished manicure and chirop-
odist, Nine. D'Hulle, Of Cleveland, O.,
is making the Magic City a professional
visit. Nine. D'Hulle has practiced her
profession in every city of the East with
distinguished success. and her journey to-
ward the setting sun will but add fresh
professional %laurels to those already gath
cred. In her chosen line she has no rival.
and those consulting her will secure the
happy treatment sprineing from close APP
plication, wide experience and natural
aptitude. Nine. D'Hulle ads to her
prof, ssional skill the merit of manufactur-
ing her own goods, and has always ON
hand a complete assortment, as well as a
varied and elegant line of toilet articles
pertaining TO the wants of a lady Of
fashion. Nine. u lIulle has opened an
Office on East Seventeenth street, opposite
the club house, where all favoring her
with a call will receive polite and prompt
attention.
, 1886-05-28

The Rochester Herald. 6t recent date,
says; George c. Min played Richeh'eu
at the Gland opera house last evening and
gavt a thoroughly intelligent and %forceiul
Interpretation Of this great character. The
crafty old cardinals inordinate greed of
power, and the cunning schemes to which
his prolific brain gave birth when his as
tendency was menaced were brought out
with much power in Mr.. Minis repre-
sentatlon. The supporting conn any was
good, and the performance was an excel
lent ONE
, 1886-05-28
The City Water supply.

Owing TO the large amount of water
used by the numerous bitches taken out
OF Crow creek above the city, Cheyenne's
water supply is running decidedly low.
Tuesday the city dam fell eighteen
inches in six hours. and since then the
decrease has steadily progressed. We'd
nesday Fort Russell obtained only a limi-
ted amount of water, AMI yesterday the
supply ceased altogether. Mayor Reel
and some members OF the city council
made a visit Of inspection, and as a result
the city has served several Of the largest
ditch owners with notices to cease using
the waters of Crow creek until, at least,
the city abtains a full water supply. These
notices are based upon the priority of
right held by the city to the waters Of
Crow creek.
, 1886-05-28

The bar committee reporting iavorably
upon the admission to the bar Of Baxter
f. Duke, he was sworn in.
The court assigned y. b. East as coun
sci for Henry NJ. Baynes. indicted ior
forgery Baynes pleadel not guilty.
w. =. Carroll was appointed by the
court to defend Herman Stoehr, charged
with forgery. Demurrer in this case pre-
scented and filed.
Helen Jenkens VS.. +. S. Emery. On
defendants motion judgment was rem
dered on the finding, and exceptions
taken by the plaintiff. Given thirty days
to prepare and present bills of excep-
, 1886-05-28
A CALL.
The Narrow Valley and the Mountain
Torrent.

A hunter just in from the head Of Lit
tie Laramie had a thrilling experience a
short time ago, The warm weather has
rapidly melted the mountain SHOWS and
the stream is very high. The rise was
very sudden, and came every nearly
booming our hunter to a watery grave.
He had made his camp near the nver
bank, on a narrow strip Of meadow land
hemmed in between the stream and a
high bluff. When he laid down in his
tent one night the river was pllcidly flow
ing along and danger was his least thought
as he kicked off his boots. jamme1 his
wide hat over his cars as far possible and
slipped the top buckskin thong of his
o%veralls preparatory to a comfortable
nights rest.
Along in the early morning he was
awakened by a peculiar sensation: some
thing unusual had touched him, and he
sat up in his blankets. Not being able to
tell by the feeling what it was touching his
flesh, he arose and discovered that he was
knee deep in water. Uttering an ex-
clamation Of disgust and dismay, he
scrambled out of the tent. Water was
everywhere. A bright moon was shining
and the clear light was reflected upon the
long, narrow lake, for such the STRIP of
land had become. And what was worse
the food was on the rapid increase. At
the upper end Of the narrow land strip
was a huge pile Of rocks. These had
restrained the rushing torrent and the
hunter could hear the water as it chafd
and frothed against the barrier.
Soon it %surmounted it and what looked
like, beneath the moons shining light,
a silver mountain, came rushing toward
him. Upon and over him it dashed.
Coming to the surface the brcathlcss half
drowned man manage to keep himself
afloat on the breast Of the angry torrent.
Down he swept with lightning speed, his
mouth and eyes filled with the boiling,
eddying surge, and expecting momentary
death from st~rangulation. Fortunately,
the mad course was a short one. Soon
the mouth of the narrow valley was
reached, the angry waters spread through
their wider channel and the overwhelmed,
bruised and buffettcd man drew the long
breath of safety. He was soon able to
swim to the shore. He had lost every
thing. His horse was drowned, his tent
swept away. An all days trudge was
necessary to bring him to a ranch, and
two or three days rest was necessary to
restore him to himself.
, 1886-05-28

The following telegram was received
this morning By Coroner Moore from the
father of Fred st. Denis;
MONTREAL, Quebec, May 27.-7o II.
W. Moore. Cheyenne, Wyo.-I have in
structed Mr.. Ployart, at the Cheyenne
club house, to forward the body of Fred
St. Denis to Montreal. Please deliver to
him. ALEX ST. DENIS.
In company with Mr.. Ployart the cor.
oner proceeded to the morgue. On tn,
delivery of the body to him, Mr.. Ployarr
ordered it embalmed, and it will b,
shipped as soon as possible.
, 1886-05-28
For fine watch repairing
DAVID MILLER. Idelman block

The Wyoming Furniture company, sue
cessors to Craig, Davis 4 Co., will puaran
tee To now any customer a larger line of
tapestry, Brussels carpets. at % cents per
yard, or body Brussels at Sl.25 per yard.
than any house west OF Chicago The
best carpets at less prices than can be
bought elsewhere.
, 1886-05-28

There passed through the city last eve
ming, a large government surveying party,
en- route for Helena. Mont. Starting at
Garrison, a point fifty one miles from
Helena, they will survey a very large tract
of country, running this summer as far as
Flalhead lake. The entire work is to coy
er a period of four years. Members OF
the party are Mr.. Grady, a brother of
Henry Grady. editor in chief of the At
lanta Constitution. Mr.. II. f. McDaniels
and Mr.. Mcbride.
, 1886-05-28

All travellers stopping for a time in
CHEYENNE car find the best accommoda-
lions in the city at the Western Hotel on
Fifteenth street. The location is agreea
ble and convenient, rooms pleasant and
newly furnished, meals the best a first
class cook can prepare from the finest
materials in the market, walters who IN
derstand their business, the best liquors
and cigars in the bar room are among the
may attractions of this popular house
HERMAN KIMME, propCetor.
, 1886-05-28
Memorial DAY Exercises.

All military org CARNATIONS, civic socie.
ties, the fire department, the public
schools. and citizens generally, are hereby
invited to participate III the metnOria
exerci-es ON Monday, May 81. lss6.
All desiring TO take part in the process
sion either as organized boiirs or other
wise, are r, questcd to notify the marsha.
rs early us possible. 50 tn I positions may
be assigned j. X. Jeffrey has been
designated as marshal.
THOMAS NJ. FISHER,
Secretary Memorial Committee j. +.
Reynolds Post No. 80, G. a. X.
, 1886-05-28

St Patrick's Pills cleanse the system
andreeulate the liver and bowels. They
are the mast pleasant, most searching and
most reliable ptysic in use. They are
sugar coated. Sold at p cents per box.
or five boxes for one dollar. Sold by W.
n. Hunt.