Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-05-06

A COLD SNAP.
The Usual Winter and Spring Variety OF
Bismarck ID. IT, Weather.

The Usual Winter and Spring Variety of
Bismarck ID. IT, Weather.
take my piece of frozen ink, whit
tied down to point, in hand to re-
mark that at is cold" If this writing
should look little stiff, you must ex-
cuse it, as it is frozen so. While |
write the wind blows through the key
hole in such frozen, solid stream that
can straddle it and ride; and lest the
keyhole should blow out | proceed to
plug it up. If the wind outside would
stop for one minute it would be frozen
so fast that it could not get loose till
the middle of next summer; nothing
could ever pry it loose; and the cook
has just come in and says he set the
cotfee-pot on top of the red-hot kitchen
stove and it has frozen to it; and as he
can not release it with cold-chisel he
is afraid we can have no coffee for din
ner to-day, but thinks it would never
come to boil anyhow. Two lovers
who stopped on the corner for min
ute's talk found, on starting to go, that
their feet had frozen to the walk, and
they are now working with crowbars to
release them. Men come into the hotel
office and rub their hands over the red
hot coal stove, and ask why they don t
start a fire in it, such cold day as this
any way. Telegraph poles are frozen
off along the railroad clear down to
the ground. You can take a piece
of flame in your hands and roll it
up into a ball. and play catch
with it; and you will never feel
the heat of it, The blacksmiths COM
plain that when they get their iron red
hot it freezes red hot, and while it
looks like they could work it when they
hit it with hammer it breaks all to
pieces, it is so deceptive. had tooth
which the dentist and his burly assist
ant pulled at for an hour this morning,
but it wouldn't bulge. The dentist
said it was either frozen tight in there,
or the tooth thought it was too cold to
| be out. Messages froze along on the
telephone wires, and they had to be
knocked off with pole. 1t is no use
| to put on six suits of woolen clothes,
for it does no good; it rather keeps the
| cold inside so it can't get out. The
landlord is not particular in exacting
| payment of board in advance, because
he knows the guests couldn't run away
very fast or get far. The creeks are
frozen to the bottoms, so that the farm
ers are intending to pry them out and
roll them over into more convenient
places People meeting never shake
hands, because, you see, if they did,
their arms are likely to come off, for
every body nearly is frozen. A man in
the hotel this morning got his ear
slapped for something or other-for
saying "it's cold'' likely the ear
ratified down on the floor like broken
brandy glass The butter is frozen SC
solidly that it will take two or three
exceedingly hot summers to thaw il
out, and the landlord is correspondingy
cheerful; none of it is eaten on the
table. Every case of fever in the town
is completely frozen out, but il
it ever gets warm the physicians
say the fever will then thav
and be as good as ever for all medica
purposes. When people freeze HARD
they merely stand them up in the cor
ners and don't bother about them, fol-
they know they will thaw out as soor
as a change of weather comes; bu
what's so mean about our landlord. h'
won't allow any rebate on board, anC
charges for storage. Two cowboys
got into fight and shot seventeen
times at each other out on the corner
but while they never missed IA shot, tht
balls all glanced off or flattened out, al
their flesh was frozen so solid. The
landlord does his best, but it is impos
sible for him to give new guests warn
reception. The steam from the victual
when they do get hot rises up frozel
and bangs you on the nose, and so i
keeps you continually lodging. Ifyol
should kick all the bed covers off yol
in the night you couldn't tell the diff
ference; and it wouldn't matter mucl
any way, for they do no good. On
would think it would not be cold her
for the rest of this century, and tha
all the cold had been used in the man
ufacture of this cold snap. When
guest goes to bed the porter has frs
to go and shovel the cold out of th
room with a scoop before he can &c
in; and they let you down to the bot
tom of q sixty-foot well with rop
when you want to wash in the morn
ing, as no water can be brought to tn
top. Your fingers freeze to ever
thing you touch; so far mine hav
. touched nothing valuable enough
speak about. But the porter just no'
stumbled and fell downstairs, breal
ing himselfinto thousand pieces; so
close to go and view his remains, whic
are so numerous W. Belldir, IN \
Y. Mercury.