The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-12-16
A REAL-LIFE COMEDY.

Incidents at the Auction Sale of Unclaimed
Articles In the Dead-Letter Office.
Washington Special to Courier-Journal.
A grotesque mob of human beings represent
ing nearly every condition of human life gath
cred at Dowling's auction-rooms on the avenue
to-day. It was the occasion of the sale OF arti-
cles remaining unclaimed in the Dead-letter
Office. Long temporary tables were constructed
of carpenter horses and rough plank. On this
cooling board were laid out the various missives
which had miscarried and were left as dead
stock on Uncle Sans hands. Human nature
was wildly displayed in its natural bent to gam
BILE on any chance that might offer, and some Of
the crew, who looked most AS motley as the
crew of Comus, gazed with eyes swelling full OF
anticipation, some looking as if they thought
many of the bundles before them might contain
q fortune. / little lady, <decked out with
bright ribbons and jewels, feasted her
pretty eyes with prospects of getting an inesti-
mable solitaire diamond, or miniature coronet
for her wealth of hair. There was one greasy
coated, long-haired philosopher present who
might have anticipated some rare curio, or pro-
found essay. There were number Of specu
lative individuals, evidently there OH the make,
and others whose looks denoted many late
nights at keno or faro whose love of hazard
jumped at every opportunity. There was lit
tie pinched-face lady whose countenance indi
Gated that she always believed she would III
some mysterious war strike a streak of good
luck. or inherit a foreign fortune She seemed
impressed that from the dead letter" her hopes
might be resurrected With the auctoncer as
central figure, mounted on chair behind
the long tables, and all faces turned up
there was an interesting scene for the
ply siologist There was not a face in the
crowd that did not discover the features OF baz-
ard. The woman who is always after bargains
was quite prominent Many of the bundles
were labeled. but the crowd was warned that no
suit of damages could be brought against Uncle
Sam for Misrepresentation. The curious and
mystic game of hazard in the auction proceeded
rapidly The glib tongue of the auctoneer rat
tied like beans in q stray barrel rolling down
staep hill. The packages were knocked down so
swiftly that the bidders were kept as busy as
catcher at the bat Then the lucky one would
feel the package. eager know what they had
struck, and steal away to open It, and generally
a long-drawn face followed. But the old stager
would laugh heartily at the grotesque luck that
befell him. One stylish young lady got pair
of short, heavy woolen socks another q
pair of jeans pants while dude, as IL
fate itself had intended to be sarcastic,
found himself the possesor of pair of corsets
and an unmentionable female garment A very
hard character got book of common prayer,
and opened it at passage that invoked industry.
when the fellow was a genuine never-sweat
double-f listed clodhopper, with a No. 16 foot,
drew pair of silk slippers, No. l. A doctor re-
ceived a hatchet, as indicating that 1t was
more mercfui implement of death than his medi-
cine, and very gabby individual found in his
package that old Norm-eaten cheatnut, minia-
ture scul and cross bones in coffin, with the
motto. "Talked to DEATH" An old aid received
fortune book, with directions for making love
potlons. and man with big furry beard opened
u box of poInatun, warranted to make whiskere
grow in theee weeks. The whole affair was
"a huge cornees, and well wosth twice the price
of admission.