The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1886-09-15
DRlC-.t-BRAC.

~ "iC'II IICtiu SlSi ho III liS iS'i pSi .
shop.
Nickcl-platcd Watchdog with {; new
collar.
Better an empty head than one with a
cod in It.
An Interesting liquor casc-A box Of
champagne.
II tho fire bell rings false alarm can it
bo called 4 libel?
y dentist says that false teeth arc getting
is numerous as false hearts.
Every pound Of hay which can possibly
be saved ought to be cut.
The cats antipathy for mice probably
accounts for woman's love for cats.
Money doesn't make the man; and it ism t
every man who makes the money either.
The Ohio man who sold his wife for five
cents positively declines to throw in a
c!romo.
Bodies are crcmatcd for three dollars,
which includes an urn, in Paris In Milan
the cost is only ;sl.40, it is stated.
\ fortune in name In Kentucky q
man named breckenridge or Clay can gets
Ten cent drink Of whisky for nickel.
IL mans religion is pretcntious on Sun
day and obscure on weekdays you better
do business with him on cash basis.
Every person has two educations-one
which he receives from others, and one,
more important, which he gives himself.
ISIS the baby while you can," MARBLES
4 poet Thanks, we will wait till she Is
sixteen and risk our chances.
4 man who has nothing to do generally
telephones 10 busy people to see if they
viii 70 on an GRAND for him.
Chronic erumblcrs arc like flies in butter;
they Go not ruin what they mix with, but
tlleE spoil 'hc symmetry Of the scene.
It's very solemn thing to be married, "
S:tid Aunt Bethany Yes, but its 4 great
deal more solemn not to be, said her niece.
Cnc way to make picnic sandwiches is
TO pat a slice Of raspberry pic between a
proslrltc log and pair Of lemon colorcd
trousers. II is not q good way, however.
A Sioux chief is learning to ride the BIZ
cyc.c, and the final determination of tho
aboriginal race is now only question of
time.
The most Thoughtful man living is the
one who Immediately stopped dying when
reminded that his life insurance policy had
expired
IN Ohio Clergyman the other day made
lis congregation smile by saying that Gre
nation las become 4 burning question in
the church.
Mexican sugar planters offer $23 head
for Chinese laborcrs. Why, at that rate it
will pay TO stop boycotting and go to kid
mapping them.
Il intilclity succeeds in teaching q man
that he will die like beast. it will at the
same time succeed in teaching him how to
live like one.
Tic single effort by which we stop short
in our downward path to pcrdition is itself
:; greater cycrtion Of virtue than a hundred
acts OF justice.
why was Washington like newspaper
man." The Norristown Herald has solved
the conundrum. Answer: Because he
couldn't tell lie.
One hour lost in The morning will put
back the business of the day; an hour
gained by rising early, will make one
rlonth in the year.
\ well-llnown gentleman, speaking Of
another very conscientious citizen, said that
''hc was SO afraid that he would do wrong
that he did not dare to do right"
Haste makes waste" says the proverb;
but the man who buttons his waistcoat
over hay window will tell you that haste
lad no hand in making his waist.
Bless me-" said he, looking at the clock;
cts after clever. How the time flies. l
had no idea it was so late Its better
late than never" she said, hiding yawn.
\ barber reduced the price of shave
from ten to eight cents, which action was
followed by another who further agreed to
shave man without talking to him.
The South Americans put up sausages In
bark. Concerning this no comment is neccs
sary, only to say that the South Americans
desire 20 preserve every phase of the dog
Along with other things there appears to
be an epidemic Of suicides. In New York,
on Friday, there were seven, and in nearly
every part Of the country We hear Of them.
Tie largest clock ever known is that in
the cathedral at Strasburg. 1t is one hun
c:rcd feet long, thirty feet wide, and four
teen feet deep, and has been in use for
Three hundred years.
Pa" asked q little boy, "whcn a poll
;;cian goes into office docs he have to take
m cain Yes And when he goes
ont Of Office does he take an OATH" Yes;
bat there is nothing compulsory about it. y
4 female preacher is said to be writing
Commentary on the Life of Joshua" 1t
it is reported that she will observe thai
Joshua was successful with the sun, but he
never commanded the daughter to be still.
1t is rot the man who talks loudcst who
is most to be dcpcnlcd upon in an emcr-
g:ncy-. y silver dollar makes 4 great deal
more noise than five dollar bill when it is
,iloprcl into tic contribution box.
She puts on . great many airs, docs
she nol?" said Mildred, while discussing
m acquaintance. Airs replied Amy
Z kat doesn't begin to express it. She just
piles cyclones on the tops of hurricanes.
The hardest thing in this world to please
is i woman. Mr.. Young. of Minnesota,
locked his wife into the house; Mr.. Potts.
OF Wisconsin, locked his wife out of the
house Now both women have sued for
divorce.
According tc the author Of ''11ow To BE
Happy Though Married. it was q Chicago
yCu"g lady who. OH being asked the usual
question in which thc words Love, honor
and obey" occur, made the straightforward
reply: Yes, | will, if lie docs what he
promises me financially.