davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13
BUSINESS PRINCIPLE.

Why the Late John B. Cough Refused to
Deliver Free Lectures.
In sketch of John B. Cough. who
died as he had lived upon the platform,
and who was the last one of the most
popular of public speakers, and, after
Father Mathew, the most famous
apostle of temperance, it was stated
that although very generous man, he
declined to lecture for the benefit of en-
terprises and societies of all kinds,
which constantly applied to him. 1t is
to be hoped that nobody regrets his re-
fusal or thinks him to have been less
generous because of the refusal. There
form of mendicancy than that which
ceived very large income from his
public lectures, and of this money he
was not avaricious. On the contrary,
he gave literally and often, doubtless.
to the very objects for the benefit of
man practices his profession or pursues
his business for his livelihood and the
support of his family, and he determines
ton of his gifts and charities.
That is what the charitable society
forgets which asks a singer to sing, or
an actor to act, or a painter to paint
picture, or lecturer to give lecture,
for its benefit, upon the score of CHAIR
ty. One of the Woodworking guild of
lecturers some years ago replied to a
solicitation of this kind by asking the
chairman of the committee what bust
ness he pursued. II am a dealer in
jewelry," was the reply. ''Well, MIR.
Chairman said the lecturer, Il am
very much interested in little society
like yours in my own town: now let us
be fair: will give you the profits OF
my business for one evening for your
society, if you will give me those of your
business for one day for the benefit OF
my society"
The good chairman stared and smiled.
The lecturer continued: .'Have you
applied to our friend, Mr.. Sheepskin,
the attorney?'' mo; what for?" asked
the chairman '.Why, to aid your So
ciety by contributing days fees" The
chairman smiled and looked puzzled.
..What l mean,'' said the lecturer. sis
simply that there is no more reason why
you should ask me to give you the en-
tire profit of my business for a
certain time than to ask any body else
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13
"SHOWED OFF,"
A Performance Which Can Be Witnessed
in Numerous Families.

in Numerous Families.
The hearts of many parents have been
saddened by having their children OBJ
stinately refuse to s.show off, their
mental attainments in the presence OF
visitors. 1t is always parental delu-
sion that this display of Johnny's or
Sally's accomplishments can not but be
a source of infinite JOY to all beholders,
whereas the victimized visitor is simply
enduring in enforced silence the tortr-'e
forced upon him. jenkins. friend OF
mine, has a son three wears old, sup
posed by the jenkins family to be an in
FAINT prodigy, future President. and all
that. The friends of the jenkins family
have different sentiments, which l will
not here expose because of my regard
for Jenkins l called at jenkins house
the other evening. when the phenome
non of the family was fairly overtlowing
with smartness. He came into the
room with a whoop and yell combined
with hop-step-and-jump movement
that plunged him headlong into my lap,
where he lay burrowing his head into
my stomach and screaming frantically.
There, there" said Mrs. jenkins,
you didn't hurt yourself much. guess.
Stop crying and speak your new piece
for the gentleman"
81 won'tr'
"Why, Johnnie, is that the way to
talk to mamma?'
"Ya-a-asr'
"No. it isn't. If you'll speak your
piece I'll give you some candy"
Il want it first"
..No, dear: speak your piece first"
81 shan'tn'
THE gentleman wants to hear you. "
The ..gentleman'' didn't want any
thing of the kind. but he said he did,
and Johnnie finally condescended to
stand up in a corner, give his head 9
jerk, and begin:
ssTerwinkle terwinkle little star,
How 1 wonder what you are,
Up above this
Here Johnnie suddenly breaks off and
goes racing and tearing around the
room, upsetting chairs, snatchlng at
table-cloths and shouting like a young
Indian.
Don't" says Mrs. jenkins, THAT
isn't half of your piece"
Its all I'm going to say and the
mad race is resumed.
johnnie! Johnnie!" interposes Jen-
kins, Sr.
The infant jenkins is now standing
on his head in a corner. kicking out his
heels and laughing. This interesting
pastime is soon abandoned for the more
exhilerating one of prancing around
the room on his hands and feet and imi-
tating the '.woof, WOOL of bear.
You're too noisy" says Mrs. Jen-
kins.
"Ain't'' briefly retorts Johnnie.
You are," says jenkins. Sr.
81 a-a-a-in't"' shrieks Johnnie.
"You. John Henry Jenkinsr'
Ire is in the fathers face and voice,
but Johnnie doesn't care for ire or any
thing else.
The result is a sort of pitched bat
tie, in which the combined forces of Pa
and Ma jenkins are sufficient to drag
Johnnie out by the heels. His mother
returns. red and mortified.
children never will show off when
you want them to- she says, sadly.
1t seems to me that Johnnie has
showed off, to perfection.-Detroit
Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13
PRACTICAL POETRY.
Advice TO Agriculturisrs From Longf
lnwss SnnD IF

Advice TO Agriculturists From Longfel-
lows Song of Hiawatha.
1t is seldom that poets have any cor
rect ideas of real practical life. They
are too ETHEREAL and sentimental. There
are, however, worthy exceptions, such
as Whittier, Longfellow, Bryant, Gold
smith and others, whose divine afflatus"
was always guided by such realities as
are necessary for as practical world
as this. In the spring of the year, when
we all begin to think of the true process
by which the earth, the nurturing moth
er of us all, is to be aided and prepared
by man to bring forth her richest prod
ucts in the greatest abundance, practical
agriculture is worthy of poet, philoso-
pher and statesman. Any farmer, who
has read Hiawatha, by Longfellow, can
but admire the true agricultural knowl-
edge which that poet had. The allegory
of the origin of corn, in which Hiawatha
is made to fast, and to pray, to the
master of Life (the Supreme Being),
for some blessing to the Nation, in an
swer to which the master of Life
sent Mondamin. There is a conflict
between Hiawatha and Mondamin,
in which, after three days wrestle, the
former slays the latter. but before his
death he informs his slayer how he
wanted to be buried, and Informed him
how he would be resurrected. and prove
great blessing to the nations. And
the beauty of the allegory is the exact
knowledge which Longfellow had of the
way in which corn should be planted
and cultivated to produce the most
abundant crop. Hiawatha was to plant
the body of Mondamin, which was to
sprout and produce crop of corn and
thus be blessing for which Hiawatha
had earnestly prayed. This is the way,
in his expiring hour. Mondamin is made
by Longfellow to talk to Hiawatha:
snake a bed for me to lie in,
Where the rain may fall upon me,
Where the sun may come and warm me;
Lay me in the soft earth, and make it
Soft and loose and light above.
Let no hand disturb my slumber,
Let not kehgahgee, the raven,
Come to haunt or modest me.
Only come yourself to watch me,
Till wake. and stand and quicken,
Till leap into the sunshine"
This is just as good guide now for
the corn planter, as it was for the pro-
duction of the first stalk of corn. And
we commend it to our agricultural
friends. Motnes Register.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13
A RHETORICIAN.
His Annoying Experience With His Quib-
bling Better Nine-Tenths.

His Annoying Experience With His Quib-
bling Better Nine-Tenths.
Professor (to his wife)-My dear, I
wish you would speak more carefully.
You say that Henry Jones came to
this town from St. Louis.
Wife-Yes.
Professor-Well, now, wouldn't it be
better to say that he came from st.
Louis to this town?
Wife, don't see any difference in
the two expressions.
Professor-But there Is difference, a
rhetorical difference. You don't hear
me make such awkward expressions.
By the way. have letter from your
father in my pocket.
Wife-But my father is not in your
pocket. You mean that you have, in
your pocket, letter from my father.
Professor-There you go with your
little bubbles. You take delight in
harassing me. You are always catch
ing up a thread and representing it as
rope.
Wife-Representing it to be rope,
you mean.
.Professor-For goodne IS sake, hush
Never saw such quarrelsome woman
in my life.-4rkansas Trareler.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13
Best Paint for Barns.

After painting several barns and adj
vising in regard to painting many 9TH
ers. l have fixed on the metallic paint
and linseed oil as the very best. The
color Is a dark reddish brown, which
matches naturally and pleasantly with
green fields; the iron oxide forms most
desirable chemical compound with the
oil, which is absorbed by the wood and
lasts for ten years or longer; the paint
does not show stains of soil or manure,
and it is fire-proof. The paint is the
cheapest to be procured and covers the
surface well. ANY one can lay it on.
Asbestos is an excellent material for
paint and better than lead; but lead is
lead no longer as the adulterator mixes
barytes and other cheap stuff with it,
and it is also the dearest paint to be
bought-Cor. N. Y. Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13
SEA ROMANCES.
Actual Catastrophes Which Prove That
Truth is Stranger Than Fiction.

ACTUAL SaSaStrOpneS " n1Cn fTOF6
Truth is Stranger Than Fiction.
Although the rakish pirate schooner
has, with her picturesque and truculent
company. sailed into the sea of oblivion;
and the gallant frigate has given place
to the steam cruiser; and the floating cas-
tle-llne of battleshp is succeeded by the
unsightly ironclad, there is a good deal
of romance left about scattering life vet
There are mutinies and strange disap-
pearances of vessels which suggest foul
play, and odd crafts that are noted by
many vessels, and yet spoken by none;
there are floating wrecks which cruise
from one side of the ocean to t he other;
forging suddenly out of the haze and
darkness of midnight to startle some
nodding lookout, or perhaps to send
down into the depths laden craft
whose fate will forever remain a mys-
terry. Crews rise against brutal cap
tains, murder them. loot the ships, carry
them into some little-known port and
disperse, hiding in their bosoms the Sc
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13

A Detroit court is puzzled over tho
name of Polish defendant whose first
name is Peter. The other is Czyzky-
blajski, or Jacklisybski, or Zizyjszghsky.
His lawyer could puzzle the jury just as
III as anything, but riot was avoided
by compromising on the work Peter.
and by this name the defendant went ON
trial. Indianapolis Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13

The story is told of our great states
man. Frank Lawrence that, returning
once from the East, he got Oft at Falls
View to look at Niagara. After exam
lining it critically for moment. hs
turned to a bystander and remarkeds
..Huge. amt it? l spose it runs all
night. too. &C Chicago Rambler.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-13

A Scotch dominic, after relating to
his scholars the story of Ananias and
Sapphira, asked them ..why God did not
strike everybody dead who told lie.
After long silence. one little fellow
got to his feet and exclaimed: Because,
sir. there wadna be onybody left. -
Exchange.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
THEE OUACHlTA NALAEi 4 Z.

The steamboat John II. Hanna ars
rived Monday night aud brings en>
-eouraging reports regarding the manu-
featuring and agricultural prospects,
the present year, Of those beautiful,
healthy aud fertile parishes, watered by
the Ouachita river, viz: Caldwell,
Ouachita, Union and Morehouse.
Tic fact that Capt. John II. Hanna,
and other capitalists of New Orleans,
with the leading officers and owners OF
The Ouachita Consolidated Line are
forming stock company for the pur-
pore of erecting aud running an ex~
sensivo oil mill to be located at or near
Monroe, imrarts new life 10 property
owners, merchants and planters, and
undoubtedly many we'll TODD residents
will invest money with the new con-
Germ.
The next election for Mayor of the
city OF Monroe takes place May 1,
1856, and at the primary meeting held
Thursday, April s, Hon. Fred Endom
received the highest number of votes,
which is equivalent 10 an election.
There were only two candidates
placed in nomination at tho primary
meeting, viz: l.. d. Allen, the pre-
sen, Mayor, who has held the office
since 1881, and Fred Endom, who
held the position from 1874 to 1854
The total number Of votes cast was
$50, of which Allen received $50 ant
! Endom 2O5.
The above fattcripg notice of TIL.
| Queen City of the Ouachita Valley i
Clipped from the New Orleans Chroni
Gle OF Wednesday last.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18

DWELLING and lot. fronting .on Sixth u,
the above being known as the S,yertom =.
proport 70 W
Ames, Oaks A.--I.ot No. a IN City. Of Mon-
City of Monroe, fronting S's 90. 100 tcet OF,
Harrison street, and running back along
Sixth street, between parallel lines lts
s S1-lOO tect. on which taxes are due for
1852, lSSs, 1854 and lSS5...... 80 20
Copely. G. w. Est of-Gerspach Agent.
x One lot in City OF Monroe, fronting $50
( feet on Grammont street. and $50 feet ON
st. John street, with two dwellings,
Gross. Solumon-Ealiski Agent. Ono lot
i'll City of Monroe, fronting SO seet on
y Oak st, between l.. II. Allen, and Mrs.
Dabbs running back to an alley ld9 feet;
One house and int. corner Dessaru avg "a
Congo streets in City of Monroe...,.So -
Hanseli, II. H.--ona lot of ground IN the
City OF Monroe, bounded N. and. w. by
property.of Exelius, east by +. Endom
and south by Washington street......S6 W
Unknown--Lot No. 6 i'll square No. in
City of Monroe La, as per old plat mont
ing 60 feet on Oak street, and running
back between parallel lines 40 feet to the
Northern boundary, of lots and 9,
( square q. on which taxes suodue for !Ss:.
Y SS-Sa anu So..,. SV
On said day of sale, will soil such por-
lions OF said property rs each debtor will
point out, and in case the debtor will not
point out sufficient property, will at once
and without further delay, sell tho least
quantity of said property OF any debtor
which any bidder will buy for the amount
of taxes, interests and costs due by said
debtor. The sale will be made without
appraisement. tor cash, in legal tender
money OF the Unitod States, and the pro-
perry shall be redeemable, at any timo for
the space of one year, by paying the price
given with twenty per cent and costs
added.
u. NJ. SHOLARS,
Assessor and Collector OF City Taxes and
Licences City OF Monroe.
Monroe Ln.. March 9th 1856.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18

The editor acknowledges the receipi
of aud returns thanks for an invitation
to attend the Grand Dress Ball, to be
by Stonewall Lodge X of 2
IL city in honor of the Grand Lodge
louisiana, at Gerspach's Opera
ouse on Wednesday evening May
9Th next. This will undoubtedly be
the grandest affair ever given in this
city Preparations on gigantic scale
having already begun, aud the visiting
knights we are satisfied viii! be hand
somely entertained. We understand
that the best music ohtuinahic has
been engaged for the occasion.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18

The Monroe Compress Company has
contracted with S. 3. Steers, the agen.
Of tho manufacturers, for an No. !
Morse press, latest improved, and have
called the first assessment Of 20 per
cent?. payable May 1st., prox. The
compress will be ready in time for the
next crop and the work of construction
will proceed as soon AS the machinery
arrives.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
NOW HAS FAITH.

had been troubled all winter with cold
and pain in the chest and got no relief
from remedies recommended by Druggists
and Physicians. AT the same time L was
advertising DR. Bosanko's Cough and Lung
Syrup. 1 had little faith but thought to
TRIP it as last resort, now l believe even
more than they tell me of its curative quail
ities.-From The News, Elizabethtowii, NY
Sold by "A. Moore.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
CARRIAGE EAcruw,

Theunlersigned takes pleasure in making
known that no is now as we'll prepared as
before tho war, If not better, to do all kinds
IT work, either in
Manufacturing Of, xee2oiyiss0
CARRIAGES, BIGGIES, HACKS, EIy
Ready made work kept on hand; speci-
mems Of which may be seen by calling at the
Factory. He will also carry on general
Blacksmith shop, arranged to do all kinds OF
blacllsmithing. Terms reasonable.
Supnary l, 1879. FIR. ENDOM.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
TiIE oUAcl!IrA EXCELSIOR
steam Saw ansl l'ianims Mills.
Il. vOLI.MAN. PRorRIEroR,

P,stof.ice-Monroe,L La,
and Matched Pine and Cypress Lumber,
Cypress Heart and Sap Shingles, Doors,
Sash, Blinds, etc., etc. The filling of orders
and answer ing letters ofimportancepr prompt
~ and faithfully attended to. A liberal share
of ,i,e public patronage solicited.
These mills, of but recent construction,
are situated on the vest bank of Ouachita
river. immediately above the Monroe Oil
Mills. l have a railroad track connecting
them with the ", S. Il Z. Il. and have II safe
and convenient steamboat landing, facilities
enjoyed by no other mill hcareabsuts, and
by which am enabled to offer suc! induce
monts to patrons residing along tho railroad
or river as will make it decidedly to their
advantage to deal with mo.
Address:
MARI Sc ly +. VOLLMAN,
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
sNTOTIcE 70 LAwyRs
B have for sale 100 copies Of work just
published, entitled
illegal Points Decided by the See
ond Circuit Court Of
louisiana
NOTICE 10 I.l,klwll:yRs
RErpRTEp nY JupaE AZ. a. GUNBY

REfORTED BY JUDGE A.. A. GUNRY
This, book also contains't tho Rules OF tho
Second Circuit Court
All the decisions rendered by tho Court,
except those rendered in CatRh0ula parish,
from the Organization of the Court up to
June !, 1885. have been digested and the
legal points decided therein have been very
briefly stated by Judge Gunby.
Members OF tho bar throughout the state
will find this publication Interesting and
valuable.
Marbled board cover, leather hingcs... p g
Pspor w
Remit by registered letter, postal ortlor
or draft.
Address; II. IL. RILtS,
Monroe. L
July I. 1854.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
DIR. GUMS LIVER PILLS.

Removes Constipation, prevent Malaria,
cures Dyspepsia, and gives new life to the
system. Only one for a dose. FREQ SAM
pies at J. A. Moorc's drug store.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18

FRoAd orr REGULAR RlcroRTEE.
niilisaps Bros, have been asi,iine
some needed improvements e. The
streets, for which they deserve credit,
The Oil Mills resumed work s''>-
terday morning.
Several bales cotton were in town
yesterday all of which was purs
chased by Millsaps Bros.
Business was good in town yss'er-
day.
The u. S. Grand Jury is composed
principally of West Monroe boys and
we venture the assertion that evil
doors will meet with just punishment
at their hands.
Mr.. and Mrs. Amos Davis aui fami.
ly of Choudrant station are visitip
Mr.. M. III. Parker of Trenton.
When the editor of tie Richland
(La) Beacon hangs up the paste pot
and the shears and goes on jaunt TO
IA neighooring town he edi,oriaHzes ns
follows: We went into Monroe on
Saturday evening. Tho train was late
and we did not have an opportunity
of seeing many people. Ga Sunday we
met quite a number. AT night we, in,
company with our friend Peters, went
around to the Baptist Church and
heard quite at~ interesting discourse
from the pastor. We were surprised
10 find no more out at service. we,
AS usual, shared the inequalities Of our
friend, J. e. Peters, and family. Sun.
day evening we called on Mr.. Whit-
field and lady, Mr.. Peters son-in-law.
We were pleased to SEQ them SO well
fixed up for living" The country at
large will share the pleasure OF the
editor in knowing that Mr.. Peters son.
in.law ssis so we'll fixed up" The
Beacon's man has breezy ofT>hand
way of giving Information that is
always refreshing.-N. O. States.
Our neighbor, Monroe, really seems
to be about to embark on big boom.
All the CAPITA, stock of the compress
and warehouse has been taken and the
hooks closed. The railroad bridge
across the Ouachita is to be foored and
q national bank is among the pros
liabilities of the near future. The
town has our earnest congratulations
and best wishes in her onward pro.
gress. We have always known that
Monroe had the capabilities for big
town, and only lacked vim and enter
prise to put things through. Had the
ruonied men of the town been aroused
ten years ago to the action they are
now taking, there is no telling no"
prosperous the town would to-day De.
-Rusto,, .C0ligraoh.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18

Mr.. J. w. Cole and family of Plano,
Texas, who had been visiting Mr.. and
Mrs. NJ. L. Meredith of this city, feft
for home to-day on the Hanna cia
New Orleans.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18

: Mrs. j. s. Boatner and children
returned on the Hanna this morning
from Catahoula parish, where they
had been on a visit to friends aud rela-
tives.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-04-18
CUEIsiFF'S SALE.
State of Louisiana. Parish of Ouachita
Fifth District Court.
II. Meyer VS.. Ben Hutchins, No. $500.

State of Louisiana, Parish of Ouachita
Fifth District Court.
II. Meyer VS.. Ben Hutchins, No, $500,
BY virtue of 4 writ of fl f, issued by the
Hon. Fifth District Court, in and for the
Parish of Ouachita, and to me directed in
the above entitled and number suit, have
seized and taken into my possession. and
will sell mt public auction betweenn legal
hours of sale, to the last and highest bid
der, at the door of the Court House in the
City of Monroe, La, on
Saturday, 2{th day OF April, 1886,
the following described property, to-wit
One Bay Mule.
| Seized as the property of defendant, will
| be sold to satisfy said writ and costs.
! Terms of sale, cash, with the benefit oil
appraisement.
| J. E. MCGUIRE, Sheriff.
| Saturday April 10, 1856