The Washington critic., 1886-10-18

Conkling that | know of In private life.
There is Secretary Lamar. whom | am
proud to call my friend He is an ex.
pert swordsman, and can take care OF
himself anywhere. There are also
many of the newspaper fraternity who
have taken lessons aud are now able to
knock out the fellows who come into
the Office to ask for satisfaction. Then
there are large number of people
prominent in public life who have
taken lessons from me who do not
like the facts to be known, as they
think 1t Is not looked upon rs quite the
proper thing by many people, =" How
about CongressmenY" IL have plenty
of them during the sessions of Congress.
They are mighty shy about letting the
public know anything about 1t though,
so cant give you any names of my
pupils. They are coming back soon
and expect to be very busy again
when Congress meets"
~.
The New York TIbuno says that
General Anson G.. McCook, who has
been travelling in Europe on his we'd
ding trip, met with rebuff In the Eng
lsh House Of Commons at the opening
of Parliament which Is characteristic
Of English official courtesy. The
General happened to be in the House
Of Parliament on the day before the
opening, and 1t occurred to him Incl
dentally that without waiting on the
American Minister to secure the cour.
tesy he would wait on the clerk Of the
House of Commons and so secure the
favor from an official of the correspond
ing rank with his own. lie accord.
ingly wrote on his card, on which was
printed plain Anson G.. McCook, the
title CLERK of the United States Sen
ate," and sent 1t in to the Clerk of the
House of Commons. After he had
been waiting some time llunkey came
out and called out his name. When
the General responded the funkey
asked abruptly: "What do you
want with the Clerk of the
House of Commons2" The Gen.
eral answered that he desired to
see the opening of Parliament. The
ilunkey went away and remained some
time. When he came back there was
the same call for "McCook," and when
he stepped forward he got this short,
curt reply in three words: "No room,
sir" Some men would have been
angry, but II was not so with the Gen
eral. In telling of 1t to friend he said:
II presume if the Clerk Of the House
of Commons ever comes to Washington
and sends in his card to me, shall rush
into the lobby, seize him by both hands,
take him into my private room, fill him
up with good whisky, and then, If he
wants to see the Senate at work, and
there are no vacant seats, shall prob.
ably give him my own chair and stand
up myself. In any event will show
him bit of American hospitality"
~
"See that blind man over there on the
corner p asked a Wabash avenue doc
tor of q Chicago Hcrad reporter.
"Well, he is confirmed cigarette
smoker. Like thousands of others, he
first inhales the smoke and then dis
charges 1t through his nostrils. He has
kept up this sort of thing until his
beak has begun to color as prettily as q
meerschaum pipe. His friends have
tried to tell him that unless he stopped
the practice of discharging the smoke
through his nostrils his nose would
soon become as black as q dumb.bell ;
but, being blind, he imagines that
these warnings are made in jest, and
dismisses his solicitous friends by tell
ing them that his face is not made Of
papier mache or plaster of paris. ac
count for this ludicrous transformation
on the theory that his nose, becoming
porous by reason of the gradual alb
sorption of the blood IN his body, soaks
up the nicotine as fast as 1t enters the
nostris, and distributes it in q way
quite funny to the world.