Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1886-02-03
Denis and tho Priest.


heen, was good-natured, harum scar
UNI fellow, who rented "a bit of an es-
tate' as he called it-really shanty
and a potato patch-from Squire DAILY.
With the aid of his wife Norah and his
daughters Kathleen and Mary, he man.
aged, with frequent outside jobs, to
eke out a scanty living. BE was a
avorite in the country around, and
always on hand at the fairs, the races,
and the dances; but was seldom at
church, and in consequence became an
object of solicitude to the priest of the
parish, good old Father Rooney. One
day, as Denis was riding along the dus-
ty road to Mollinavat, he overlook and
picked up his reverence, who had been
visiting sick parishioner. AS they
logged along, Father Rooney took the
opportunity to reproach Denis for not
coming to mass-to which the latter
replied:
''Shur, yer reverence, Norah and the
gurls 60 for me. You know how it is
the women have the religion for the
men, and open for us the gates of hea-
ven--if there is oue,'' he added silly,
by way of poking fun at his companion,
who, he was we'll aware, was as par
ticular about the tenets of his faith as
he was kind in his reproofs.
''What's that, sur?' calculated Faith
er Rooney, rousing up with start that
shook the old cart; "what's that yer
sayin, Denis Carey? If there is onep
Most certainly there is, and look out
you don't miss gettin' in there, you
spalpeen." Denis was quick to say:
''Then, yer reverence, you'll he sure
to be there. You're not sure of it your
self2 But say yer will. You'll be
there at tho gate looking out fur yer
aock-an God knows you IL take good
care of 'em-and you'n say to St.
Michael who holds the keys
Father Rooney broke in:
''Hould on there, Denis Carey! Sure
if you came to mass oftener, you d
know its not St. Michael at all who
houlds the keys of heaven, but St.
Peter who does that same, glory to
Cod"
Dennis, but little abashed, continued.
"Well, yer reverence, when l come
along up there, you'll say to St. Mich
ael-St. Peter l mane-when he tries
to push me out. bekase l hadn't gone
to mass-you'll tell him: Oh! let Denis
Carey pass, he one of the boys from
our place and a good feller-he was a
Councilman and voted money to the
Sisters when they wanted to lave the
school. That wud touch St. Peter.
who will say to me: Well, we'll, Ill
pass yez. Denis, but only to PLACE
Father Rooney! Indeed, yer reverence
will be Father Rooney up there, for it
wud be hell of place for } on if it
nd hinder you from being that same. "
Denis now halted the old gray mare
in front of the priests cottage, who
proceeded to step down. The good
Father had allowed Denis to talk with
out interruption, but now he said:
Don't you delude yerself, Denis
Carey. You can't blarney St. Peter,
as easily as yer can yer foolish old
Father Rooney. It's myself is thinking
that St. Peter will pass Norah and the
gurls for they never miss their duty
but when he catches sight of you, try
ing to skulk in behind their skirts, he'll
take you by the ear, twist You around
til you spin like top, and say: aha!
Denis Carey. none of yer monkey bust
ness here! Come along out of that-go
along out of this! Then if you mention
my name he'll say: No! No! Father
Rooney warned yer to 60 to mass, but
instead, yer wint to the divil, and he's
waiting out there beyan:. to fly away
wild yer. I've no use fur the likes OF
yez here
So saying, Father Rooney waved bis
hand, saying, ''good-bye, Denis-re.
member-no mass, no pass"
As Denis was promptly at church
the following Sunday, it may be in
ferred that Father Rooney's picture
had impressed him as more likely to
be realized than his own fancy sketch.