Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1886-09-04
ABOUT GEOLOGY.


Geology is that branch of natural
study which treats of the structure of
the arth's crust and the mode of for
nation of its rocks. 1t is q pleasant
and profitable study, and to the man
who has married rich and does not
need to work the amusement of bust
ing geology with the bible. or busting
the bible with geology, is indeed .
great boon. .
Geology goes hand in hand with
zoology, botany. physical geography
N.Y. chiropody and theology are not
kindred sciences.
Biologists ascertain the age of the
earth by looking at its teeth and count
ing the wrinkles on its horns. They
have learned that tho earth is not only
OF great age. but that it is still adding
to its age from year to year.
1t is hard to say very much of a
great science In so short III article. and
that is one great obstacle which l am
constantly running against US U scien-
fist. l once prepared u paper in as.
tronomy entitled 1.-The Chronological
History and Habits of the Spheres"
1t was very exhaustive and weighed
o pounds. l sent it to u scientific
publication that was supposed to be
working for tho advancement of our
a The editor did not print it, but
wrote me q crisp and saucy postal card
requesting me to call with dray and
remove my stuff before the board of
health got after it. In five short years
from mat time he was q corpse. As l
write these lines | learn with ill-con-
cealed pleasure that he is still corpse.
An awful dispeusation of Providence
IN the shape of Il large. wiited cucum-
Der laid hold upon his vitals and crush.
ed him with an inward pain. He has
since had the opportuning by actual
personal observation to see whether
the statements made by me relative to
astronomy were true. His last words
were: Friends, Romans and coun-
trywomen. beware of the q-cnmbcr. 1t
will w-up." 1t was not original. but
it was good.
The four great primary periods of
the earth's history are as follows, viz,
to-wit:
l., The Eozoic or l nm OF life.
~; Inc PalHozoic or period Of ancient life.
" y In M9esozoic or middle period Of life:
~: Inc Neozoic or recent period Of life.
These are all subdivided again, and
other words more difficult to spell are
introduced into science, thus crowdinp
out the vulgar head who cannot afford
to use high priced terms in constant
conversation.
Old timers state that the primitive
condition of the earth was extremely
damp. With the onward march Of
time, and after the lapse of millions of
yearssmen found that they could get
along with less and less water, until At
last we see the pleasant, blissful state
of things. Aside from the use of wa
ter at u summer resorts, that fluid ia
getting to be less and less popular.
And even here at these resorts it il
generally favored with some FOREIGN
substance.
The earth's crust is variously esti-
mated in the matter OF thickness. Some
think it is $500 miles thick, which
would make it safe to run heavy trains
across the earth anywhere on top of a
mortgage. while other scien-
lists say that if we go down one-tcnth
OF that distance we will reach u place
where the worm dieth not. | do not
wish to express an opinion Us to the
actual depth or thickness of the eartb's
crust. but l believe it is none too thick
to suit me.
Thickness of tho carth's crust is a
mighty good fault. We estimate the
age OF a certain strata of the oarth's
formation by means of a union of our
of plant and animal life.
and ddp a go ssin % 9aa geci0S ESa o 1ssss rel.
in the field of geology do not
rely solely upon the tracks Of the had
rasaurus or the cornucopia for their
They simply use these things to
their memory.
l wish that l had time and space to
describe some of the beautiful bacteria
and gigantic worms that formerly in
habited the earth. Such an aggrega-
ton of actual, living Silurian mon
sters. any one of which would make a
man a fortune to-day, if it could be
kept on ice and exhibited for one sea-
son only. You could take q full-grown
mastodon to-day, and with no calliope,
no Autographs, no bearded lady, no
clown with four pillows in his panta-
looms and no iron-jawcd woman, you
could go cross the continent and sue
cessfully compete with the skating
rink.
There would be but ono difficulty.
our expenses would not be heavy.
The mastodon would be willing to
board around and no one would feel
IKE turning a mastodOn out of doors
he seemed to be hungry, but he
might get away from you and frolic
away so far in one night that you
uldn't get him for a day or two even
II you sent a detective for him.
II l had q mastodon l would rather
take him when he is young, and then l
could make a pet of him so that he
would come and eat out of nv hand
without taking the hand off at the
time. A large mastodon weigh
ing a hundred tons or SO, is awkward,
too. suppose nothing is more pain
ful than to be stepped on by an adult
l hope at some future time to write
paper for the Academy of Science
the subject OF Deceased Fauna.
Debris and Extinct
jokcs,' showing how, when and why
these early forms of animal life came
extinct. Bill Nye in New York Mer-
;ury.
In q Sixth avenue street-car filed
ladies q ninety-pound dude sat
Wedged in n corner. At twentv-