The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-11-04
PERSONS AND THINGS.

-Judge-"Are you aware Of any mitigating
circumstances in your ease?" Criminal Yes,
your honor. this Is the 50th time / have been ar
rested for vagraney. and thought that perhaps we
might get up little jubilee"
The chestnut bell has been superseded in Buff
falo by the liar card. When the story teller be-
comes too enthusiastic in his exaggeration, the list
ner hands him a card on which is printed, II am
somewhat of liar myself"
-" Do you realize, sir. said the long haired
passenger, that there is One who and hears
all we do, who can solve our inmost thoughts, and
before whom we are but crushed and bruised
wormsf" Give us your hand, stranger" replied
the otheri - know Just how you feel. I'm mar
ried myself"
A rather unusual law question came up at
Waterville, Me-, the other day. man owed q
sum of money and an attachment put on his
wateh-a legal attachment. The man was shrewd
and said the timepieee could not be taken, it
his tool whereby he earned livelihood. He was
a watehman.
People who are quick to take up remarks
and to resent supposed insults kept pretty busy
by the world. An old man, who was before Judge
COwing in New York, a day or two ago, admitted
that he had been arrested about 100 times on
charges of assault, and explained that he was not
going to let anybody call him names"
A Chicago expressman says that the oldest
thing he ever received by express was a grave. IL
was in n box about four feet long, covered with a
glass. Inside was the earth OF child's grave-the
turf. flowers headstone and ALL It was going
from this State to California. Some man had
moved out there, and had the body of a dear child
taken up and shipped to him. The thOught struck
him that he would like to have little of the sod
from the old homestead and so he sent for the top
of the grave.
A young man Of Griffin, Ga, anxious to make
n good impression on young woman, a visitor,
whom he was taking to church, displayed q tive-
dollar gold piece, intimating that il was for the
contribution box When she expressed surprise at
the amount, he also intimated that il his Gus
tomary contribution. But he forgot that the custom
then was TO announce the amount of the collection
and was shocked to hear it given ont as S3.75. He
had substituted copper coin for the gold one.
The Bishop of Metlahkahtla. b. O., was re-
| Gently attacked on the road by six Indians who
| had decided to rob him. The Bishop, who knew
| how to handle his fists, knocked two down one
after another butted another. hit a fourth In the
stomach. and thus cleaned out the whole gang
without getting out of breath.
Judge H. ID. ID. Twiggs has defended 43 men
charged with murder and cleared Al. This record
\ can hardly be matched the world over.-Augllstd
| (Gd.) NelUs.
| Chicago has a crank whose one harmless mania
is for tying For sal" cards to horses and wagons
standing in the streets. No matter how poor Oh
how elaborate the rig he fastenS the card and walks
/ on without waiting TO how the owner takes it
| Geo. Il. Thayer, son of ex-senator Thayer OF
April 10 bicycling trip, has Just returned after
/ finishing 224 miles on his wheel. He went as far
the Pacific coast, made about 90 miles day. had
| no adventures. and spent but S275.
/ Dude Waitah, bring me three slices of straw
berries, cut thin, and three green peas" Waitah-
i "An right. sab; anything else, sah?" Dude
| Anything else good gwaeious, where am IL Dc
/ you think I'm hog?