Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-18
BRIGHT BITS.


asked what was the matter with his coat, re-
phed-"Insomnia; it hasn't had nap in ten
years. "-Eschaa0e.
=. "DooToR, stop minute. What do you do
''st ia a draught or get nv feet wet. What
40 you want to get cold forf Get up Bolus" -
-Burdeste.
y rs, poor George is dead. How dreadful,
mrs. DOOfunny!"
~ s and the worst Of it ia can't cry; be-
cause, you see, have TO dine with the rest Of
the boarders, md nv eyes look perfectly hor-
rld after I've Grief - hica0o Ne5s.
LIKE MANY OLDER CHILDREN: Emma goes
70 sehooI, but disllkes It very much. a lady
friend oil the family questioned her on the
SUBJECT EMMA, what do YOU do In sehoOl2
DO you learn 10 read?" Emma ahskes her
nead. DO you learn 10 write?" Another
shake. Then what do you do?"
II wait for 1t to turn out. "-BOstoB Beacon.
YOUNG LADY from the West who is visit
ng Boston made use OF the word pants in
the presence of her aunt. I'm Boston, Sarah,
'pants'"
81 beg pardon said the Western young
woman, with blush OF veXation, 81 should
have said 'pawnts. "-Nslo York Sun.
IN SIAN man who has sold bimself at gam
ping can compel his wife, il she has the money,
70 redeem MIN, but he thereup0n becomes her
property and chatte. This is a very equita-
Die arrangement. The wife, II she desires,
Gan tEaub ueE nu6Ddni on. along with MS
summer vest, for plaster Of paris image OF
bismarck, or spotted dog. And we should
think woman with such husband Would so
desire HOrrast0aon Herald.
ROCKET-"There is absolutely no indlvidu-
ality we are all linked and dashed together
by invisible but indestrucdble threads. spun
down from the great source When any man
attempts TO eXtrIcate himself from others and
stand alone he but more hopelessly interlaces
and snarls the network which unites us al -
Stiek-"YOn're right. / wish you'd saw that
TO Maria, and tell her that's why didn't get
home until O'Clock this morning. "-TSd-
Bite.
CoMPLiEENT-''You look tired. Miss Co
ID I? Getting old, Isuppose. You know
the saying: A mans as old as he feels; and
woman's az old as she looks"
well. I'm sure that saying does not hold
good IN your case" And then he smiled his
killing smile. as who should say: II have
fetched hern but she withered him with a
glare, and the conversation suddenly tagged. /
Judy. ft-
A QUEUE-KIoUs TALE
Mable last year by the sea
Gave gold ringlet to me,
The sweetest mementO
That eer a maid sent to
Her gallant, you'll surely agree.
Now, Rose, my hancee, is fair,
She, too. sent lock of gold hair;
But mixed them up 80
That really don't know
l just which is switch Of the pairf
n. Rambler.
ATTORNEY examining witness)-You say
you saw the shots fired7
Wltness-Yes, SIT.
Attorpey-How near were you to the scene
of the Array
Witness-When the FIRST shot was fred W as
ten feet from the shooter.
Attorney-Ten feet. "WeIl, now. tell the
court where you were when the second shot
was fred?
WItness-i didn't measure.
Attorney-Speakng approximately, how
far should You say?
Wigness-Well, it Appropriated to half a
mile - Boston Post.
"HELLo, Simpson, old boy; how feeling this
morning? ] see you were fined $50 yesterday
for being drunk on the street and fighting an
Italian crossing sWeeperT'
"'Me.' / never was drunk in my life. and
have been out OF town for weeks; just got
back this morning."
''Well, here It is IN the paper, anyhow, plain
az day; Marcus II. simpson, grain dealer, of
Barley street,"
Lem me see the paper. Well. truth ID dead
in this world. The newspapers are lying
more than eyerY The miserable liar of a re-
porter who wrote that! l told the Judge nv
name was Thorn as Jones, and that lived in
Hannibal, New Jersey. There's no liar like a
newspaper Eschdn0e.