Rock Island daily Argus., 1886-10-08
WARES OF THE RHYMESTER, oRAToF
AND LETTER-WRlTER TO ORDER.
Tho Inner Workings Of the Bureau re,

AA'iN N'a' "a ait tb isit 'ttNhs am tilt lc'
porter almost backed ont and abandoned his
investigation at sight of it. tss he was not
tbe kind of literary worker he calculated on
finding, hut a tall person with the inlpertur
bable face of an antique sculpture and a pro-
fusion of very black and very oily ring
let's. A woman it was, and one who did
not seem strikingly adapted for the pamphlet,
speech, and poetic business, however well she
might dc at private correspondence. The re-
porter fell somewhat relieved when, on de-
clarmg that he was in quest of the boss
literary worker and head anjandrum of the
bureau, a little door ho had not noticed was
opened and Il gentleman was disclosed i'll a
sort of lighted clnset struggling with some
u, ,nuscript. He WIS a miIdle-agcd gentle
ul.ti in an aipaca coat, with all opprcSsiycly
solemn owl resting lis leaden bulk on his
Siack scarf
He motionel the reporter into his ,lcn, and
then the gentleman with tine emblem Of wis
dom said, smilmgly:
You would like to put something ia
writing
The reporter intinsted that that was his
mission.
"Ilumph' Private in IFS character asked
Sc of the owl "Well. any information you
may give will 10 received in confidence
aHI-n
"Ona moment" interrupted the reporter.
There yua hat it, Information But lFs
not come 10 give any. That's just what am
here to sc:
THE wuRKINGs OF THE BUREAU.
"Oh. | see" said The other No secret
about the bureau that is, Its working how
,yer silent VT, NAV lie about the personnel Of
cur patrons
by the by, who are they generally
-Ncrv frequently lldies. M a>Slt;nt ;s
tbere TO receive them and learn their hnai
ness" and lie motoned toward the outer
apartment, 1t Is surprising he went On,
how many ladies there are who are quite IN
telligent aud even appear to he persons u
culture but who are utterly mahlr to carry
ON any correspondence requiring dclicacy.
We undertake 10 prepare their letters for
them, of whatever Kind Some If them nave
long business lytters, some ordinary COM
muuicanon- to friends, some epistlc, Of
mole antimentaI kind Then there are bust
ness people who want advertisements pre-
;ar,,l or circulars got up and some who iSsllc
regular periodical pamphlets All of that
kind of work We undertake
" hal 'i'r7 lLe iocliS h't'ai 'ih'i" '"lil4'lS
held: the reporter lnqulr"i
"Ah, thnt Is be'"nnns more patroma"d than
yon W"nh imagine. There arr qult" num-
her OF PEOPLE Who want verses iof one tLln9
o. another hFe ar pa'''i' i'''1''ilf anu
pSfihh" lF'ple- tt''e 'i' 'i'u'''N 'iiu
lallnIN ana sh"el''aNis anu ""'''siii'''i Va
every kind who advertise their WaleS IN verse
1t Is attractive, and You set up catchy lines
they TAX" Then there are many ladies and
gentlemen in society who pretend TO culture
they have not got, They sometimes commit
| themselves to writing a sentiment, or an
acroStlc, or a plrie Tor an alhaih, or something
Ct the KIND wen the nnlK {" llem could
aafdIy rhyme do'e 10 i''e ana HI up the
m'erNehi"s SP'''S WIN "V,"S ''''' ii''',
anything y" we tui'le 10 tn' Ie7'ut anu
provide urh VITA verses a''ip'el l'F aipuIA'
'o'.er' VI i'.S e4ti0 ii'n III
-. - ,;..1, ,;si,,, ..,.-;,.,
49,, s,,,,i.t, n1atic favnr, Ian,t !, t,rI -
-, pa,os,,s :, 70 sraot IN ou Linds ~
n,,,i,.s
sNot at all Whv, we have lot of stock
r.,,ns ON hand that fl mostly everything Ii
i only now and then we need TO prcuarr the
T,,.t,,n-n,ada article You see nearly every
ono ,,.Lo want, 4, n,.m for social ,nrrnS..s has
so,,,, ,-irl in his eve he wants II written mn to
II ~ ~, intended for album or valentine, or
,,,,,,,,,,,,t;,, T., all one THERE'S always n
rirl in tho case and all that's needed Is to
m,Lo tba ,,,,r, match her compIexion
|. .Rut have Won not to EXPRESS different
.,,,t;,r.,,+.r,
-Onlv two kinds-the fever heat love sentI-
nant and the djscrcetlv friendly idea"
spEFrHEs. oRATIoNS AND CORRESPONDENCE.
~you nrc,are speeches, too,"
| 4Io+. nf than,-nnliticaI. religions. sri,,n-
s.6,, or nost -prandial. as the case NAV lie
| We arr. ,rcnared to furnish Them for all or-
cssions from congressional discussion Of the
tariff 10 a college commencement dav. There
| is a choice collection already prepared and on
hand for public dinners lbe season Tor
them is approaching. Under the head OF re-
| sponSeS 10 The day we celebrate, Our sister
s'cie'i's' anu ine id,itsI y" ii'lNe an ''s'o, y
i'1en1 III all Sls1S n''eu ,oi any eu'i s'i'e
bu' no" ''ii Inos 'o "'''" u" 'ie>A'i ~
cfSlohs'
No'h'''E '''9i'p' we f''i''t' I'' ''-"7
"oA i'E'' st' li.A5 "... -
7ia'' Nv - ~,
ieie' - 49, IT. ~, 49,
nopts u 'neh n'i''i''','',, ~ Au"' u" .''''
Tqiiie', ih"' i an ~ " ii'','
color OF lii''N nun ieie' ei''> ~ " i''''' Wv
| 'h'o" Them III "heh oiuei'1 :" 'a'' ',e