Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-05-20
HOME ETIQUETTE.
An Important Fastsr In Good and RsfnsA
HousekeeDtnG.

An Impsrtant Fastsr In Good and RsansA
Housekeeping.
There can be no place where certain
restraints and restrictions are more
necessary than in the narrow, often
jarring confines Of home; there is no
place where people feel more unre-
strained, unrestricted. Many young
couple, new to the delight of being
one as we'll as . couple, find exquisite
bliss in making that unity so complete
that all either has, in mind, or matter,
belongs to both. But that system
won't work! No two people, living to-
gether, can by any possibility, preserve
their own happiness, to say nothing of
their friends, without something OF rr
serve; enough to keep at least. their
self-respect, enough to make both as
polite to each IS in the days of their
wooing.
have emphasized that word polite.
Why is it 80 many people keep all their
fine manners for the outer world, and
have none left for home? Why do
mothers train their little ones, in every
way but by example, to be alvays cour-
teous, and then wonder that they are
sometimes rude? II you fail to say a.
surely as to their elders, ''thank you,"
81 beg your pardon or. "if you
please" to a child, so certainly will
that ready little wit take on the con-
viction that politeness is not for every
day use, nor for home consumption.
No husband has right to read his
wife's letters, in justice to the friends
who wrote them, and the woman who
reads. No wife has a right TO pour her
husbands coffee, with her bang en-
twisted in last nights curl-papers. No
parent has right to give away 3
child's play-things without that child S
consent. l hate this everlasting,
greedy prating of ones ''due," but
these are instances by the way, of the
injustice ruling our good housekeeping.
For you see, discOurtcsy is the an
tithesis of justice; not that all injustice
is rudencss, but all rudeness is Unjust
ice. Why should we show our love
By our impOliteness? remember
once, when my sister and / were tax
ing our departure, after call upon
two other sisters, we jostled against
one another at the door. Upon our
mingled apologies one of the girls
broke with a laugh: ''Do you do that
to each other?" She cried. Il should
never think of begging Lily's pardon"
Yet they were we'll hammered young
persons too; truly gentlewomen in
their relations to the world. Some one
says:
"we have careful thoughts for the stranger;
And smiles for the sometime guest.
Yet we veX our own. with look and tone,
Though We love our own the best
spoke of reserve as part of polite
ness. A parent can not implant high
sense of 6elicacy and honor more sure
" than by a respect for each child in
dividuality as profound as for an equal.
! have never forgotten an incident in
my childhood. l twas away from home
Tor few days, and on my return the
younger ones fell on me at once. Let
t1rs had come from two or three alb
sent brothers, they said, and addressed
TO me; SO. to all their entreaties to
open them, our mother had said, no
one could do that but myself, and they
thrust the envelopes in my hand
Could daily lecture have taught the
precept in so sure a manner as that
practice?
A great many kind and wise people
hold some vague idea that nice man.
ners are a mark of insincerity. and
bluntness betokens truth. l don't
know by what course of reasoning, en-
cept. as some kind of things are called
a.
be always impolite truths. Others
there are who think they give one the
highest proof of their esteem when
they lay aside all ceremony. They
don't stop to consider that perhaps one
likes ceremony. As some one said: Il
hate to be made one of the family. for
it means sleep there in bed Or as
a friend of mine phrases it: Il don't
like those tables where they didn't put
themselves out for me- | UtHat them
to put themselves out. l want some
thing good to eatn' This same sort
regard intimacy as license. friendship
as freedom. For my part have little
love for the friend who knows no meua
and tuum in hair-pins and tooth-pow
der, criticiSes my overskirt, wears my
rubbers, and gives advice and sugges-
ton unsolicited. To such transgres-
sion as this last always want to quote
DR. johnson: ''My dear madam, be-
fore giving your opinion you should
consider what your opinion is worth. "
There is no relation, in short, in the
household, whether of mistress or maid,
husband and wife, child and parent,
hostess and guest, but will be made
more comfortable by the exercise of
little formal etiquette. don't say it
will cure all evils to which the home is
heir; there must be something deeper
and truer to do so great work. But
it will make the domestic machinery
run more smoothly, and that-surely
that is well worth trying.-Ruth Hall.
in Good Housekeeping.