The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-08-22


| be deprived of their entertainment, proceeded tc
collect the required amount. and the license was
obtained. Then school '.let outn the pupils
fastened to the residence of the brides parents,
and saw the twain made one by an accommodate
ing justice of the peace. All accounts of the
social philosophers who have studied the ques-
ton agree that the coming man is to be preco-
cious, but it has not been predicted that he would
arrive by way Of Georgia. The case of Mr..
Thornton indicates, however. that the man of
| the future has already come and has brought
his wife along.
CASPER CoNKLrN is tho lover Of Katie Spohr,
of Corona. L. L, and recently took her to Rock
away beach, where they enjoyed themselves so
much that they missed the last train home, and
had to take carriage, not reaching the maternal
| domicile until in the morning. They explained
how it came about. but the mother of Katie did
not believe It, and when Conklin called next day
to see if he was solid with the lady he was about
to honor by making his mother-in-law, he was
| received frigdiy until she managed to get close
to him. when she threw red pepper into his eyes.
well-nigh binding him. He rushed out of the
house and got medical assistance as soon as pos
sibie Next morning the girl was missing, and
visit to her room showed that she had let her
self down with twisted sheet taking her trunk
with her, since which time she has not been seem
Conklin brought suit for assault against the
mother, and intends to show her that it's Spohr
policy to throw pepper into the eyes of an in
tending son-inlaw.
A CITIZEN of Providence, r. l.. stepped into q
barber-shop, few evenings since. for the pur-
pose of getting shaved, but the barber, instead
of performing that service, cut his customers
throat from ear to ear. On investigation it was
shown that the manipulation of the razor had al
ways been mild hammered man, not addicted to
drink, but that some years ago he was kicked on
the head by horse, since which time he had
worn silver plate in his skull, and had been
subjected to occasional "Ats." In this instance
the general verdict was lat the customer was
the sufferer from the 'it Nervous visitors to
barbershops are accustorl I'd to avoid the ton-
serial artist who bears ,out him the odor of
the saloon next door, Blu henceforth they will
not feel at ease until they AVE searched his era
MUM for silver plates.
HAVING had schoolmasters word for it that
there is verita5le sea-serpent in existence, the
Boston mind has no further doubts on that point
but yet is not satisfied. The Herald, of that
city, calls for exact information, and wants no
more theories and speculations, now that the
beast has been fairly spotted This, we beg
leave to remark, may indicate proper Boston
hunger for science, but it is not the professional
conduct that might be expected of 80 enterprisng
journal as the Herald. If the sea-serpent is
caught and analysed into creature Of so many
bones, ard humps, and other pecularities and
all the veil of mystery torn away. what, pray,
will the Eastern press do for sensations in future
silly seasons9 On second thought. the Boston
editors will probably decide not to go a-dshing
for the monster.
SIX hundred florists attended the convention
of flower growers in Philadelphia last week.
The extent to which the business has grown in
recent years is shown by the statement of Mr..
Peter Henderson chat the sales of flowers in
New York city, on New Years day, forty years
ago, amounted to less than $3.50, while on last
New Years 100000 would scarcely cover the
outlay. A similar growth of trade can be shown
in almost every city, and proves conclusively
enough to satisfy all doubters that Horticulture
is business which is ornamental" in single
only, but is quite as practical and profitable
as corn and potato-growirg.
THE residents of the city of Paris near the
cemetery of Pere Lachaise have been greatly
bothered of late by depredations committed by
small boys, who slip through such narrow places
as to mystisy the police and render their cap
tu-e nearly impossible. On account of their
ability to pass through such narrow apertures,
they have been called skeletons. The skeleton
in the family closet seems to have somewhat
more tangible existence than of yore.
The members of Catholic society at Montreal
boycotted certain brand of beer because it
bore picture Of triangle on the bottle label
from which they concluded that the maker was
Mason and had taken this method of recommend
ing the beverage to his brethren of the craft
There came near being beer famine until Car
dinal Taschereau decided that the tragic was
not necessarily a Masonic emblem. It was a
narrow escape altogether.
AN exchange, whose proof-reader is abroad, re-
marks that 1.-THE Indiana Democratic State Cen
trail committee will meet to-day and attempt to
heal the breeches in several congressional dis
tricts" 1t met, and, so far as this district was
concerned, found the 'breeches" past mending,
and chucked what was left of the pair into the
political rag bag The next effort will be to trade
'em off for wax figger.'
Mr.. CLEVELAND is his own jenkins At
least no newspaper reporters have been heard of
in his present neighborhood and as he agreed to
furnish such information to the public as might
be necessary, it must be supposed that the fish
stories telegraphed over the country are the
work of bis own pen-it would be slanderous to
say of his imagination.
THE Louisville Courier-Journal declares that
the example of the Newark girl who married
an Indian will hardly be initiated nv othara for