davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
YE TWO WISHES.

An angel went a walking out one day, as I've
heard said,
And, coming to a fagot.maker, beggel a
crust Of bread.
The fogot-maker gave a crust and something
rather queer
To wash it down withal, from out a bottle
that stool near.
The angel finished eating, but before be left,
said he:
"Thou shalt have two wishes granted, for
that thou hast given me
One for that good drinksble, another for the
bread"
Then he left the fasot-maker all amazed at
what he said.
~ wonder" says the fagot-maker, after he
had gone,
at wonder if there's any truth in that same
little song!"
So, turning this thing over in his mind, ne
cast around,
Till he saw the empty bottle where it lay
upon the ground.
81 wish" said he, just as a test, eff what he
said is 80,
Into that empty bottle, now, that I may
straightway CO."
No sooner said than done; whisk! into the
flask he fell,
Where he found himself as tightly packed as
a chicken in the shell.
In vain he kicked and twisted, and in vain
he howled with pain;
For in spite of all his efforts, he could not
get out again.
So, seeing how the matter stood, he had to
wish once more,
When, out he slipped, as easily as he'd gone
in before.
If we had had two wishes granted by an an
gel thus,
We would not throw away the good 50 kindly
given us. :
For first we'd ask for wisdom, which, when
we had in store,
Pm very doubtful if we'd care to ask for any
more.
Howard Pyle's "Pcpper and Salt"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
LIES LESSON

So that we live this life full just and vel,
No other need of US will e'er be asked;
And though beyond our strength we may
be tasked,
IT'S OF our strength alone that we must tell.
No aim is higher than we ourselves do will
And none more true than some that seem
quite i'll. :
Effect is never cause. The motive pure
And half the battles won. There Is no
fame ~
More true than this, though it may seem
tho same.
And men applaud it who are yet not sure
To what they lend applause. And over an
The same suns shine, the same dews equal
fall o
Few meet what they expect. The end we
crave
Isrot the end that's given. And time has
said
otis better So" though heart rebel and
head
Bow low in longing. And every grave
OF every hope is but the birthplace Of
Some purer trust in faith, or time, or love.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
A Disguised Caller.

Professor Jacques, as everybody knows,
has been investigating psychical phe-
nomena. The professor has a brother
who isn't 80 much interested in psychical
phenomena as he is. This brother called
the other evening to make a fraternal
visit. He entered the house and struck,
naturally enough, for the back parlor.
The professor stopped him at the door.
"Sh.h, sh.h," said the professor,
"don't come ir-don't make a noise
there's a lady in here in a trance"
The visitor started back, and attempt
ed to 90 iato the front parlor. At the
door lie was met by somebody he didn't
know, who said:
''Sh-h, sh.h, don't come in; there is a
man in here who is just going under the
influenced"
Then he started for the library. Some
body else met him as he swung open the
door.
Ssh h, sh-h, be careful; there's a Sc
ance going on, and you'll spoil the con-
ditions if you come in that wayP
He rushed up stairs and raped rather
briskly at the door of the family sitting
room. It was his sister-in law who met
him this time, and she said:
.'Sh.h, sh-h, don't make a noise; you'll
wake the babyw
Then he dartcd down stairs, took his
hat and zane and left the house. -Boston
(Mass.) Record.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
POPULAR SCIENCE.

In insects. the sex of an individual is
not determined until toward the end of
the larval stage. E~ntomologists who
rear moths and butterflies contend that
when the food supply is scanty the ma
ior;ty of perfect insects produced are
males, while if food is superintendent
females preponderate.
Heretofore, in planting salmon, it has
been customary to place the little fish IN
the streams, and allow them to care for
themselves; but the new idea of placing
them in protected preserves, where they
can be cared for by the people living
near at hand, and their growth to the
proper size assured, will, no doubt, revo-
~lutionize salmon culture.
Measurements of the heights of clouds
have been made at the Upsala observa-
tory during the past summer. The re-
suits are approximately as follows:
Stratus, 1000 feet; nilmbus, or rain
cloud, from 5000 to 1900 feet; cumu-
lus, from 300 to IS. 900 feet; cirrus,
90, 400. Cloud measurements are always
somewhat uncertain, but these figures
arc considered fairly exact.
The Prince of Monaco is making a
systematic study CT the ocean currents.
Last July he sank a large number OF IN,
g~eniously arranged bottles, globes and
barrels at different points north of the
Azores, each floating vessel containing a
paper in different languages, stating the
time and place of immersion, and beg
cinc the finder to note down the hour
and place of discovery, and forward it
to the nearest French consul. Now three
of these bottles have been found in the
Eastern Azores, having followed a south
casterly direction, instead of going to
the southwest, as expected.
The continents, according to Mr.. John
Murray of the great Challenger expedi-
ton, have an average height of about
900 feet above sea level, and occupy five
sixteenths of the earth's surface. The
seas "abyssmal regions occupy about
half of the earth's surface, and have an
average depth of three miles. In the
Pacific the greatest depths are to the
south and east of Japan, where there are
ADVISES of over five miles; and in the
Atlantic the greatest depression of a lit
tie over our miles is to the north OF. the
Virgin islands. Tie great ocean basins
once so dark and mysterious-have
been rapidly becoming familiar to man
during the last twenty years.
A polar current appears to defect the
Gulf Stream from the shores of the United
States and the British provinces, and IN
terpose a cold wall of water between the
land and the genial warmth of the u r
rent from the tropics. These refrigerat-
ing waters pass between Labrador and
Newfoundland, and by building a dam
across the narrow straits OF Belle Isle
about ten miles wide and averaging $50
feet in depth-Mr. John G. Goodridge,
Jr., suggests that the polar stream might
be turned aside into midocean. Then,
it is believed, the Gulf Stream would
skirt the American coast and materially
change its climate from Cape Hatteras
to Newfoundland, freeing the gulf OF
St Lawrence from icebergs and giving
to Nova Scotia the mildncss of Cape
May.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06

Landlady-"Did you like the turkey
we had yesterday, Mr.. Smith," Mn
Smith-"Did I like him! Yes, indeed;.
why, I loved him! I used to think when.
was a little child that perhaps, after
all. I should live the longest, and the
thought made me sad."-Boston Post.
We learn from a reliable exchange that
a good, healthy hippopotamus is valueds
at $50, 600. Here isau idea for the fash
ionable girls who lead a thousand-doi!af
dog along Chestnut street. Get a mp
,nopotamus and kill the other girls with
envy. This suggestion is thrown u
without any charge. philadelphia CaM
TO MY OLD UMBRELLA.
Thou standest in the outer hall,
Tby form appearing gaunt and tall,
try in vain to shake thee. 80,
Methoueht tina when the skies were oleaH
Some friend with thee away might sneak, .
Rut no one cares to take thee.
Thon medieval chestnut black,
Thou dull, archaic bric-a-brac, .
Thou wakest my adherence.
I rather would get wet, l VOW,
Then carry such a wreck as thou, -
Though rain might fall in torrents.
Yet still I keep thee, and some friend
To confscate nay condescend, -,
And never think of payment;
And how would ! enjoy his plque,
When thou begin'st to spring aleak
And ruinest his raiment.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
A Liberal Man.

4 Griswold street insurance agent. who
is an advocate Of the Michigan ship
canal, yesterday received q visit from a
tall and commanding-looking stranger
who remarked on the approach of winter,
and continued:
"About this ship canal project, am I
right in supposing that it is to connect
Lakes Erie and Michigan?"
eyes, sir"
"It is, I take it, q scheme to shorten
the route from the west to the eastF'
eyes SIR"
"a vessel bound from Buffalo to
Chicago would "a q voyage up the
rivers, across Lake Huron, through the
Straits of Mackinac and down Lake
Michigan?"
"That's the idea, sir"
"Have you figured on the cost"
"Oh, yes. The highest estimate is
500, 900, 000." >,
"Hunph! A mere nothing. Is it
your personal desire that this canal
should 60 ~through2"
why, I am greatly interested as a
citizen"
:sOf coursc-I see. 1t is perfectly
roper that you should be interested
deeplv interested. The canal shall go
through" ~,
"Havc YOU any late news, sir2"
Eyes, sir. I ain going to put it through
myself to oblige you. Here IS my cheek
sor 500, 900, 900. Go out and hire the
diggcrs. Good day, sir"
He laid a check for the sum named on
the table and walked out. The check
was signed john Smith and hasn't been
cashed vet,-Daroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
The Way OF the World.

The new boy had moved in that Is,
the family which owned the new boy
had moved in. 1t was quite likely the
new boy would show up in the back
ward during the afternoon, and so, after
school, seven boys headed that way.
The new boy had only been seen from a
distance. Was he sassy? No one could
answer. Would he fght9 No one
could tel. He must be tried! 1t was
the solemn duty of every boy in that
neichborhood to make this important
discovery at the..earliest possible moment:
If he could be licked, we'll and good; IT
he was a fighter! They breathed hard
over the thought. ,
In half an hour seven heads appeared
above the alley fence behind the new
bows house. He seemed to be expect.
inc them, and had heaped up a peck OF
green tomatoes at the foot of a plum
tree. r.
The seven glared down at him. He
glared up and back.
stWhat cher want?'
It was the new boy, and there was
"slss" in his tones.
"Nonc o. yer Dizness"
It was one of the seven who answered.
"Git otf'n that fence"
"We won't"
Il say git off,"
"Shan't do it,"
The new boy stopped for his tomatoes
but when he raised up he saw the sever
heads was gene. 1t was settled ne wa
sassy. Would he fight?
"You there" from the alley.
"Who" from the yard.
.'You da<n't fght!'
Yes 1 dast"
s'Dasn't come over"
"You see" ~.
He came over. 1t had been settled
that Johnny Flynn should tackle nm
and Johnny was ready. He grabbed 10
the new boys hat, and the new boy
grabbed for his coat, and they tuSgge'
and twisted.
"Sick him, Johnny"
s:Clean him out!"
"Pull his hair" -,
But the new boy had the best OF II
He came down on the top of Johnny an
pouged his eye and bit his finger, an5
offered to lick any one else in the crowd
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
Tho Fishes

One of the stories in which the pecu-
liar Christian rame figures is of an acct
dent that happened when Preserved Fish,
just twenty-onc years old, had been
made captain of o New Bedford whaling
vessel. A revenue cutter bore down
upon him and demanded the name of
the brig.
"The Flying Fish," shouted back the
young commander. ,
"What's the cargoW was the next
question.
"Pickled Fish," was answered.
"And who is captaiu2"
"Prescrvcd Fish"
That government officer couldn't stand
this, He did not propose to be fooled
with and made fun of by anybody in
this way, and on board he climbed with
his lieutenants, only to find that the
whole truth and nothing but the truth
had been told him.-New York Times.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
Tie Young Man was Sauelched.

When a Chicago woman wants to get
a seat in a street car she wraps up hers
noodle dog and carries it in her arms a
though it were a baby. But the trick is
now becoming known and doesn't al
WAYS work. The other day a lady got
into Il full car with what looked like an
infant in her arms. A very rapid-lo ok
ing young man inspected her for q mo-
ment and then said: "Madam, if trat
is a kid you can have my scat. but if it's
q pup. YOU can't" swell, it's q pup"
snapped the lady, ''but not as big a n
as you are" The ra~pid-looking young
man at once got of and went to the
wheat pit.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
A Young Smoker.

The village of Vienna Cross Roads,
Ohio. has an inyeterate smoker in the
person of Laney Bumcrout, a boy only SIX
wears old, and who has smoked almost
necessarily since he was three years Old.
Not long ago he put n lighted cigar
stump in his pocket and his coat caught
fire, and before help came the boy was
nearly burned to death.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
The way they Caught Him

"What struck you most during your
travels last summer" asked the pastor.
"WclI," the deacon replied, in a mus.
ing way, che couldn't just exactly say.
He rather thought the sleeping car porter
struck him the o%ftenest, but the waiter
struck him for the biggest stakes"
And the poor, b%ewildered pastor only
sighed and said, "Ah," inouiringly. and
wished that he had more intellectual
companionship in his yokefellows of the
church.-Burdette.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
When the Last Dollar is Gone.

Oh, the world looks on so bleak anu tne SKY
looks so bare
When tho last dollar is gone,
And q mans whole physique takes an aspect
of care
When the last dollar is gone. -.
Then the Jew and the Greek, and the plalr
and the fair,
Feel rs mean as a sneak and as fierce as 6
bear
When the last dollar is gone;
LINN Saturday Union.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
Clink and Chink

Oh, now doth como the snow,
Ohio!
And merrily bells do jingle;
The maiden with her beau,
You know,
In a cosy sleigh
Doth dash away
And ruby. tinged ears do ting'e.
The young mans soul is sad,
Egad!
For he greets the snow with growing,
He seems to be both glad
And mad,
For he's prone to think
Of his lack of chink,
And his smile gives place to scowling.
-New York Morning Journal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
HUMOROUS SKETCHES

Sub Get for Congratulation.
"Hello, Mr.. Dusenberry, what makes
you look so glum2"
"Bromlcy, I've lost that law suit"
"Sir, I congratulate you"
sch! You Congratulate me for having
lost it?"
"Yes. 1t has been tormenting youfor
the lat five years.'-CaW.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06

It is a curious commentary on the al
legged impecuniosity ofthe English landed
gentry that they manage to support as
many packs of hounds as ever, even IN
those counties which are asserted to be
the most distressed.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06

His father came out just then and the
seven ran away, but the evidence was all
in. The new boy would not only sass
and fight, but he was boss. Before sun.
down that night he had been presented
with two big bites from an apple, three
marbles, a ball of kite string and half q
pound of brown sugar in an old straw
hat, and other boys were waiting to
shower honors and presents upon him at
sunrise .-MU York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06

Since the siege of Paris. in 1870, the
consumption OF horseaesh has gradually
increased there.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-06
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

dpeE Wdit-DuStteSs
Can the object OF "a burning love" be
charged with arson9
"a miss is as good as a mile" and q
great deal better. You can't kiss a mile.
philadelphia Gull.
When a person is in everybody's mouth
he naturally has a high appreciation Of
the popular taste.-Boston Transcript.
You always feel surprised when you
see a shooting star, do you not2 That is
because you did not know the sky was
loadsd.-Pttsburg ChronicEe.
The chief civic ruler of a Western
town recently decamped with S., 0o0:of
the municipal funds. Money made the
mayor go that time. -Peck's Sun.
"What are the Seven ages of, man,
HenryW Luggage, garbage, storage,
mortgage. postage, shrinkage and dot
age" He went right up to the foot.-.
Bardette. s.
eff you sit in the chimney corner all
your days your true love viii find you
out" Is an old adage. She will if yous
happen to be married to her.-Burztng-
ton Free Press.
The Digger Indians in Rancho Chico
have q full brass band. It is no wonder
settlers demand they shall be kept on
reservation far from the homes of civ.
ilized white men.-Picoyune.
Spoodlc was saying that when he was
abroad he was presented at court. .'Tha.
deuce you werew exclaimed Foggs
Chow did it happen2 How much did
they fine ~you2"-Boston Transcript.
There was once a quidnunc, quite spunky,
Around q buzz saw he would monkey,
That saw gave q whiz, s
Took those fingers of his.
And now he don't feel quite so quidnunckN
-Gorham Mountaineer.
The discovery has been made that the
world doesn't revolve with the same mo.
mentum it did a thousand years ago,
but it still swings around fast enough to
satisfy the man with q heavy note COM
ing due.
Son-''Father. what is all this noise
about that Greece and Bulgaria and
Servia and the rest of the little fellows
arc making2" Father-"Oh, they are
hungry; they are crying for q piece OF
turkey ."-Roston Beacon.
"Blown out to sea-" read out olds
MIR. Squaretoes. looking over the paper.
s.Blown out to seal" commented Mrs.
Squaretoes, with infinite sarcasm; 'sweI,
if the world amt just full of fools. You
want a light in to see."-Brooklyn EdgM.
"There is companionship in a glow
ing CRATE" says the man who can see
poetry and sentiment in a water-plug.
Yes, yes-perhaps so, to the man who,
doesn't have to get up when the mercury
is out of sight and start the ire
Chicago Ledger.
NO WEED OF IT.
The maid expects
Her beau tonight,
And fills the stove
With anthracite,
Because the air
Is raw and damp,
But quite forgets
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20
The New Compiled Laws.

Says last Saturdays Carson Index: We
had the privilege yesterday Of inspecting q
specimen volume Of the new compilation
Of the laws of Nevada, as prepared by
Messrs. Baily and Hammond. The volume
il Of convenient size, and the binding 10
excellent. The margin Is ample. and the
book turns back SO readily that il can be
held in one hand easily for reading. State
Printer j. G. Harlow had the volume
bound while in San Francisco recently.
The contract for binding the entire edi-
ton. as authorized by the Legislature. Is
being drawn up and q bond will pres.
emily be executed for the faithful perform.
-anee OF the work. II is expected that the
new volume will be ready for distribution
or sale in the course OF a month. We be-
lieve that the new compilation thus bound
will prove highly satisfactory to both
bench and bar. Judge Hawiey. Ut the Su-
preme Court. has examined the specimen
volume in Mr.. Harlow's hands, and ia
greatly pleased with IL.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20
Question OF Taste.

Says the Reno Gazette: cit 10 an Ill
bird that fouls its own nest" The papers
of this State which are engaged in paint
ing Nevada as tho home of o corrupt and
venal people. need not travel far 10 see
the effects of their advertising. Many
strangers who have read such stuff believe
that our citizens have little regard for the
ordinary decencies OF life. The Gazette,
Of course. recognizes the fact that there Il
a venal class in this State. as there is In
every other; that IL 10 usually large enough
20 control politics, but il does not admit
that the mass of our farmers. business
men or laborers. are more SO than those OF
New York or Massachusetts,. In fact, We
mean just what We said in that editorial,
and IL was copied approvingly by most Of
the papers Of the State.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20
n. Uncomstisuttonaitty shown.

ESPECIAL TO THE bENTiSEL.l
SACRAMENTO, Jan. 19.-The ordinance
aiming at the expulsion Of the Chinese
from within the city limits came mp for
passage to-day before the Board of
Trustees and was lost by the following
vote: Aye-Nielson; noos-Brown and
Jones. Several speeches were made In
favor OF 1t. aud the opinion OF A. P.
Cstlin. City Attorney. holding il 10 be In
constitutional, was read by the Mayor.
He held that such a measure, while on it's
face i. could do no good, offered no relief
aud would nullify the efforts OF the Pacific
Coast delegation In Congress and set bach
the efforts in that direction. and amelio-
rating the condition OF white laborers.
He was opposed to the Chinese and in
sympathy with white labor, but he was un.
willing TO place obstacles In the way OF
Congress 10 the a%brogating Of the Burlin.
game treaty or in the passage OF other
needed legislation. The ordinance was
il.advised, short.sighted and not intended
10 accomplish the end advocated.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20

Says the Appeal OF last Sunday: The
gathering at the courtroom last night was
30 large that many were unable to obtain
admittance. After the meeting was called
to order, a series OF we'll considered reso-
lutions were read. pledging the signers not
to employ Chinese labor in any form.
There were several stirring speeches made
by citizens, and committees appointed to
canvass the city for signatures. The SEN
timents was unanimous for the object of
the meeting, and the ball has been started
rolling in excellent shape. The meeting
adjourned TO meet again next Saturday
evening. The lateness Of the hour pre-.
vents q fuller report.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20
A Work.

The SENTINEL is 10 receipts of q copy OF
the Mineral Resources Of the United
States, 1884" with the compliments Of
Albert Williams. Jr., of the United States
Geological Survey. The volume Is replete
with information and statistics concerning
mining for the precious and base metals,
coal. petroleum. natural gas. etc.. in the
United States. We have given the volume a
hasty examination. but feel safe in pro-
nouncing it an excellent and valuable work
in fact, second TO none of the reports
published by the Government. II con-
tsins over 600 pages. is bound in cloth.
and any one wishing a copy will be accom-
modated by sending GO cents postal note
or money order) 10 the Director. United
States Geological Survey, Washington.
D, c.,
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20
The Boss or Skeltan An Town.

J'h' Henry, of SHELTON, Mound Valley,
Elko county, has been on the Base Range
Tor a compile OF days. shaking hands with
numerous friends and also transacting
some business. Mr.. Henry Ia the owner OF
over i.soo acres OF the moat fertile and best
wstered land in Eiko county. and, Judging
from the number Of head OF stock ne has
on his ranges, and the manner in which he
10 said TO be prospering. he will. in ali prob.
ability, be In . few years one OF the larpost
cattle W In Eastern Nevada. The
SESrrNEL is always glad to see Its friends
prospering. ~
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1886-01-20
Hishop WhIt.kcr's Luck.

The Carson Appeal says last year was
q lucky n for Bishop Whitaker. When
Sharon died he left 2 1000 for the Bishops
church and recently a lawsuit has been
decided in favor OF the Bishops school
ct Keno for $40. 900. Some years ago
a wealthy widow died 10 BosAon and in
her will left the Bishops school $40, 900.
The relatives tried to break the will, took
'he case to the courts and recently the
court decided that the will was good and
tho school will get the money.