The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-03-27
M AIR l. Y ! E|: i
OR,
The Yankee in Ireland.
PAUL PEPpERGRAss, ESQ.
Author OF .shandy McGuire,''' 1.-THE spse--
wife, etc. I
CHAPTER L. .
CHAPTER T.
INTRODUCTORY.

Dear reader, have the goodness to
run your finger down the map OF Ire
land to it's northernmost point, or, II
that be inconvenient, let your magma
ton run down without it to the east
ernmost promontorY5 Of the County
Donegal; you shall then have trans
ported yourself without trouble or ex-
pense, tnd in a manner suitable enough
for our purpose, to the spot where our
story commences.
It nay happen, however, in this
rambling age, that one day or other the
you would grow tired Of travelling BY
the map and hand book, and make mp
your mind to quit the fireside and see
the world for yourself -preferring your
own eyes 10 your neighbor's spectacles.
After a long tour through Europe you
may yet, some fine evening in August
or September, find yourself standing
on the pier of Leith or Dunbrton
heights, looking across the channel,
and wishing you we're IN Ireland. Don't
resist the temptation, We pray, but
leaving your national prejudices behind
you with your Scotch landlord, book
yourself for Dublin,in the first packet,
and with good conscience and an hon
est heart take a "trip over the water,
and visit were it only for a week, the
landof poverty, gallantry, and song.
If, however, you happen to be one OF
those very respectable young gentle
men who go over to make pictures OF
Irish lite, with the view of being stared
at and lionlzed in village drawing
rooms On their return-one OF those eX-
tremely talented and promising young
men, who voyage in crowds every year.
for supply Of Irish barbara ms and
Romish superstitions, If you happen,
we say, to be Of that class, let US re-
mind you, dear reader, that the Null OF
antyre is dangerous sea, worse by
lodds than the Bay of Biscay. Don't
venture through it by any means, but
like a prudent young man, finish your
tour with Ben Lomond and the Iro-
sachs, aid return home to the States
with as little delay as possible. AS for
the Irish pecularities you would 60 IN
quest OF, they are now very scarce and
difficult to procnre-we mean fresh
ones, of course, for the old sets are
bruised so much in the handling as to
be entirely valueless; even the manu-
factnrers of the article, who made SO
jolly d living on the simplicity OF strip
lin, tourists twenty years ago, are no
longer ia existence, They have passed
away as an effete race, and are now
dead, gone, and forgotten. Pictures OF
Irish life are indeed very difficult to
dispose OF at present, either to the pull
pit, the Sunday newspapers, or even
the Foreign Benevolent Societies, UNI
less they happen tobe drawn b 4 master
hands. Such pictures, for instance, as
the Priest and the Bottle" the "Fid-
dler and the Beggars," the Y onfessor
and the Nun, have all lost point, since
Mr.. Thackeray's visit to that country,
and are now grown as stale and flat as
small beer drippings off a pot house
counter. Twenty years ago. however,
the case was very different. An Irish
man then, in certain sections Of tile
United States, was as great wonder
as a Bengal tiger, or an Ahysslnian ell
ephant; and he felt so far below the
ordinary standard of humanity III those
days, as to be considered unacconnta-
BILE to human laws. We have ourselves
been assured, on most excellent author
NY, that certain ladies of Maine, even
within the time mentioned, actually
went as a delegation to an unfortunate
Irishman, no strayed into their neigh
borhood, and set about manipulating
his head all over, III order to ascertain,
by personal inspection, whether his
horns grew on the fore or hind part Of
his Uranium. The manner of their re-
ception, by the courteous and gallant
barbarian, is still related by some OF,
tina actors in the little melo-dfama, and
though quite characteristic OF his race,
would hardly be accounted edifying IN
this simple narrative. This much,
however, we may venture to affirm That
since the event took place, there has
been but one opinion on the subject in
that locality-that the Irish wear no
horns Of any description whatever,
either behind or before-are endowed
with the ordinary feelings and senses
peculiar to the human famIlyand ex
hibit arms and legs, hands and hair,
precisely like their Norman and Anglo
Saxon neighbors.
But whilst they assimilate thus in all
their physical evelopments. there are
still certain national pecnliarlties
which distinguish them from the peo-
plesof an other nations. In the FIRST
place the bregue is very peculiar. It
differs from that of the Scotch High
lander, the Vermonter. and the Ger
man, In what is called intensity of ac-
centnati onand il is very remarkable
that this peculiar intensity OF accentu
alton Is most striking when they speak
on subjects In any way connected with
x,l <v;x,,, ~, breed Sf,,.y1d nf I'm ryryx