Morning journal and courier., 1886-04-14
BOYCOTTED.

Foreigners say the greatest obstacle to pat ronizing our best hotels is the expense. We
 are glad to know there is something in tnis
 country that foreigners hesitate to patronize. Lowell Citizen.
 A Kentucky widow has a monkey that gets drunk every night, and she says if the
 blamed thing would only snore in it's sleep
 she wouldn't miss her late husband parti-
 cle.-Newman Independent.
 Deming, New Mexico, is the only town in the United States which does not contain a marriageable woman. It strikes us that Deming is the only place in this country where Freedom can safely stand right up and shriek.-Newman Independent.
 A Chicago man who has recently returned from Europe was asked what be thought of Rome.
 s'We11," he replied, "Rome is a fair sized town, but I couldn't help but think when there that she had seen her best days.'' IN. Y. Sun.
 A Montana revivalist says no man should wear black, for it is the color worn by the devil We think the gentleman in error. The last time we saw the ''devil'' in this office he wore striped overalls and one sus- bender, which was fastened with a shingle nail.-Boston Post.
 A late invention is 8 match which may be used over and over again. This will fill an aching void. If there is one match that has been struck lying in box with ten thousand good ones man is always sure to get that identical secondhand match when he has oc- casion to light the gas at midnight. Morris town Herald.
 On the downward path.-Old Mrs. Bently -s'Do you know what's become of young George Sampson, who used to spree it so much last summer?'' Old Mrs. Browser-'sI hear he went West an has become a confirm ed teetotaler." Old Mrs. Bently-"Oh, dear, t I,o young man, too. It beats all what people II do when they once gets a taste for rum. "- Temperance Advocate.
 The Dog and the Insect-A Dog which was Trotting Along Path Stepped on an Insect, and the latter cried out: 'FAlas, you have so Wounded me that can Neither Fly nor Crawl again." ''In that case," said the Dog after Moments Reflection, ''it would not be Common Humanity on my part to leave you to Lingering and Painful Death" And he thereupon Finished the Patient with stroke of his Paw. Moral-Some Folks so Awfully Kind and Considerate, you know!-Detroit Free Press.
 Honor Too.-A lawyer who went out from Buffalo to attempt to collect something from a bursted grocer who was owing New York house found the break bad one, the grocer explaining: sT owe $6, 900 and have only $2OO assets. All is lost except honor." "Say," replied the attorney, as he suddenly grew confidential, FI want to make at least $20 out of this trip, and if you give ne ten, I'll tell you how you can lose your hon or also and make complete thing of it." The grocer probably employed him, as the s200 assets disappeared that day.-Wall Street News.
 A we'll o-do old man was Dr. Osgood, parson of the First church. In his time Springfield was mere village and Indian Orchard & sheep pasture The parson owned the main portion of that ward, conducting it as a farm and sheep ranch, and employed John Corey and his wife to run It. The parson drove out there to view his posses sions one day and found old Corey drunk, beating his wife. 'sWell, well, MT. Corey" said the parson, "a man whipping his wife!" Yes" "Mr. Corey, recollect that 8 woman is the weaker vessel" "Well, d-n her, let her carry less sail then!" Dr. Osgood used to tell this story often, and never omitted word of old Corey's reply. Springfield Homestead.