The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-05-11
REFORMER Massey.

l
REFORMER Massey.
| He Tenders His Services to the Down Trod-
den Laborer, and Is Ready for Duty.
| Toledo Blade.
| To help Bascom out / hev determined, while
am waitin for my appointment as postmaster.
| to ofer my servses to any laber organizashen
| that needs sech man ez / am. feel that am
pekoolyerly fited fur this feld-jist ez much so
ez any perfeshnel labor reformer that ever
| yawped
| Among my qualifications the folerin ar the
| most conspickus:
hev, perhaps, the strongest jaw NV any man
on the continent hev talked on the rites Nv
| man in a ten-acre feeld for five consecootiv
hours. and Good hev continyood indefinitely eff
ther he'd been anybody left fur me to talk to.
To be Nv yoose ez a leder and receiver of con-
tribooshens in any reform man must hev his
heart in his work hev aluz sympathised with
the down trodden laberer. Nothin so moves me
ez to see any man work, ceptin niger, witch
wuz born to a heritage of laber. l hate laber
with intensity witch knos no bounds.
/ hev aluz abslootly refoosed to do any laber
myself, and never did but once in my life That
wuzin Moo Jersey. thirty five yeers ago, when
wuz convicted Nv vagrancy by old-harted,
labor-Opresin Jestis Nv the Peece, who found me
gilty apropriatin shirts from cloze.ines i'll the
still ours NV the nte and sentenced me to thirty
days NV hard labor in a stone-yard. Sentehcin
men to stoneyards in Moo Jersey is no joke It
meens biznis. They don't feed 700 with quale
on tost ther nor can 700 dawdle at your work.
700 work. VOC do 1t wuz then that the iron
entered my sole, After thirty days in that in
stitooshen swore solum 9th that wood never
work agin.
hev kep my 9th!
hate capitalist, no mater how he becum
one. hate the meen spirited, grovelin reich
witch will work ten or more hours day. deprivin
itself nv beer and terbacker, and keerds, and
bilyards, and hos-racin, and sich savin peny by
peny til he hez ground enuf out Nv the world to
hev shop Nv his own, and to employ other men
to slave fur him, and thus go on akuululatn till
he owns things SIGH raen ar monopolists, and
the enemies of iaber, and grinders.
hold that the possession of a ten-dolar bill
makes a monopolist, and al SIGH shood be
crushed. Ez hevin IA ten dollar note makes g. man
a monopolist his monopolism increses jist in
proporshen to the ten-dolar bills he hez. The
owner factory Is enemy to the human
race and ez for the man witch bids raleroad he
Is monster NV such hidgus meen.
That to be haIed needs but to be seen.
My hatred NV raieroad managers is intens 1t
comenst with the fust time was dropped off the
hind platform Nv trane for not payn fare and
hez interest With every rcpetshun Nv the ofense,
which generally hapens every time want to 20
anywher. othe the ralerode monopollst
A grindin monopolrst Is any man wich hez
ANYTHING. Whenever a man hez saved anything
he becomes a capitalist. and ez capitalists
dangerous to laher he shood be made to divide it
up so ez to be on a ekality with them wich never
saved nothin.
The mechanic or workingman wich saves so ez
to own q hous or farm becoms a capitalist and
consistently grindin monopolist, and ez accumo-
lashens ar dangerus to laber wat he hez shud be
consolidated and divided up among US witch
- vnxyfh fvv IC rpivSa
| amt jist shoor that hev got the Socialistic
doctrine down fine enuf, but think these def
nishuns will do, espeshly when you howl en- un-
der red flag to luverS NV humanity witch is
chuck full Nv stale beer. A patriot full enuf NV
stale beer viii acsept most any kind Nv defnish-
uns, pervided the tendency Nv EN- is to keep him
full Nv beer at somebody eise's expens
1t is somewhat agin in this new deparcher
wich perpose to take that wuz born in Ameri-
shud hev bin born in Germany, Bohemia
Hungary, Poland, and my name shud be
Most" or "Schwab." or suthin NV that Sort
But that kin be easily managed / kin
elongate my name to ''Nasbyensk" aud that
vii settle it 1t kin let my beard grow witch
frekently do OWN to the price the monopolistic
BARRIERS charge for shavin) and l kin get ez dirty
about the gils ez eny turin labor-reformer that
wuZ ever let out NV European prizn kin
carry red flag with the best Nv EN-, and when
it comes to howln to mob, kin discount any
bloody Socialistic furner that ever sot his loud
smellin foot on this continent. I hev seen the
inside Nv as many jales any EN-, and kin
drink in just many languages ez they kin.
When it comes to Twin by the SWEET Nv yer Jaw,
l turn over my hand to nobody
| shell go to Chicago 10 wunst and line the So
ciasts and Communists aud eft the field amt fully
okepied / shell git on. Al that am aferd Nv is
that the field NV labor reform-that is leadership
lis alredy monopolized. Bismark hez sent al
Nv that kind Nv felers posibl to this kentry, it
bein cheper TO send EN- over here than to bord
EN- in his jaes
However suthin kin be dun, / make no dout.
At al events shell be on the ground and when
it comes to sackin banks, and gutin stores, and
plunderin houses, and otherwise asertin the
sakred rites NV laber, after the ideas the So
cialists, l shell be on hand with large bag.
When it comes to dividin up other peoples
property it will be cold day when git left
hate bloted arstocrats and pampered Nv
luxury, and long to git at en-. Property is
crime-when somebody else hez it,
leve for Chicago tonite. Bascom hez bot me
tikit, calkilatin that he will save the price NV
it in the whisky that won't bev charged doorn
my absenc. Their will be meetn at the meet
n-house at witch prayers will be sent up that
may never return Thay will be mistaken
| shell be in the front when the plunderin begins,
| and in the reer when the shootin commences.
know al about that sort Nv thing
PETROLEUM v Massey,
fParfashnal Labor Raformer and Mononoiv