Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-03-12
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

When trains are telescoped the
poor passengers see stars.
my business is on the boom," is
what the sailor remarked, as he was
furling sail one stormy night.-Somer-
vile Journal.
--"What are the seven ages OF
man., HenryP" Luggage, garbage,
mortgage, postage, shrlnkage and dot.
age" He went right up to the foot
Burdctte.
Mamma" said Johnnie, who had
Just been reading the war news, "a am
afraid We are short Of sauce for sup
per. Hadn't you better call out the
preserves. T. Independents
"A Philadelphia man is at work
upon wonderful invention. 1t is an
apparatus for babies to wear in front
Of their mouths to make their crying
sound like the soft murmuring Of a
flute. e.-Pitsbtirgh Chronicle.
Mr.. Feathcrly (making an evening
calD-'Robby, won't you come and
sit on my kneep" Robby accepting
the profered seat t)-"All right, Mr..
Featherly. Pa told me to-day that you
ought to be sat down on once in
awhile. IN Y Sun.
--Woman's trouble--
1t makes the average womap shout
And dance and Jump and shrek
When she finds the note
In hor husbands coat
That she gave him to post and he carried
In his pocket for moro than week.
Puck.
--"Don't be q fool, my DEAR" re-
monstrated husband to his wife, who
was letting her jaw swing loose in the
breeze. ~ won't, Mr.. jenkins, !
won't" she answered, people would
mt know us apart if did" He went
right down town Cincinnati Merchant
Traveller.
An old woman was caught by d
big policeman on Sunday evening COM
ing out of saloon with a pint Of il
legal beer concealed under her shawl
"What have you got there" said he,
prodding the protuberance with his
club, "a tumorP'' "No, can sir."-
~ Y. Herald.
"A near-sightad Boston man was
lately riding in q street car, when
lady opposite bowed to him. He re-
turned the bow, raised his hat, smiled
sweetly, and was just wondering who
she was, when she came over and whis-
pered in his ear: "0h, III fix you
for this, old MANI Then he knew it
was his fe.-BQSton Globe.
-"Remember, Mr.. Crimsonbeak,
that there are older ones than you at
the table," said Mrs. Shavepenny, in
reply to remark the gentleman at the
head of the table made. II am pain
fully well aware of the fact, ma am"
was Crimsonbeak's only reply, as he
shut his teeth and made another at
tempt to saw the bird fonkerS States
man.
-"Entered as second-class matter"
read very particular lady who lives
Ia brown stone front, the other lay,
looking over q new periodical. II am
trying to find something to read that is
first-class, but / haven't succeeded yet;
and ! will never have anything that is
second-class come into my house. No,
/ will not subscribe. Ishall wait till
find something entered as first-class
matter. .n-Erchange.
-Brown-"Then you have given up
the idea of becoming writerp" Rob-
inson--"Yes." B.-"But / thought
you had all your plans matured; that
you were going to avoid prolixity--to
write nothing but short, sharp, senten-
tious sentences; in short, that you were
gcing to be regular condenserp"
R.-"Yes, that was my plan, and
attempted to carry It OUT B.
'Wellp" R.-''Weil, 1 set out to
write, but I'm blessed II l could think
Of anything to condanse. ''--CAicags
Tribune.