Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-12
BRIGHT BITS.

MILWAUKEE, paper solemnly asks: "After
the Saengerfest, what them" Without hest
tatlon we answer, "Beer!'-Ra1nblsr.
WHEN a summer resort is half filled and
several of the guests get half full, it il an
nOunced that the season is at its height -
PhtI1deIpktG Herald.
POSTMASTER HOPKINS recently received
the following order from box holder: post
master. please give my mail to the bear."-
SO. 4 LbGnS Messenger.
CHARLES ALGERNON stepped on some zinc
When he got out of bed for a drinc
In the middle Of the night;
AndSuch was his fright
That till morning he slept not wino.-Life,
BRIDGET. TO ICEMAN-"Av We place, sir, me
mlssus SEE will yez put the ice 10 the saucer
here every mornin', ana cover it wild the tay
cup, so we can have some left if we don't get
there the mint ye layeslt. IT, Palmer Journal.
GREAT PowERs--Why don't you scare those
little fellows. Mexico and Canada, by putting
chip on your shoulder, Brother Jonathanf
Brother Jonathan-That's Just what | did
do.
Great Powers adjusting their eye glasses)-
We don't see it,
Brother Jonathan-No. They knocked il
on.-O7n0ha World.
AS A WOMAN standing all alone,
bumbly hope to SHINE;
Pm tired of the twaddle
OF the oak and Ivy vine.
I've seen too many instances
Where, natures law declining,
The vine did the ''supporting"
While The oak did all the "twining."
-WomGR'8 Journal.
DURING tho war there were many stories
and Jokes about substitutes. party of men
who had returned from the war were Boosting
before one who had stayed at home of all tha
they had done and undergone. "Ah." re-
Piled the man who had stayed at home, ''tbis
is all very fine and patriotic; but, after all,
you came BACK. l did not come back; the
bones of my substitute are whitening on the
sands of the James river."-EDchaage.
LIEUT.. A. w. GREEDY tells us in the Forum
for August what We Know About the
Weather" If he had only told us what we
do not know about the weather. we presume
we should now know why 1t pours Just after
we have marked the tennis court with lime.
or invited friend out to play, and why
there is never any ram when the garnet tank
Is empty, and the pump is warping Itself ont
OF the earth and splitting as it warps. Puck.
FIRST MINISTER. coming in-well,
there doesn't seem to be much
money at my church for the hea-
then nowadays. Second Minister-No, nor in
mine either. First MlnisteT-If it wasn't a
game OF chance I'd propose having base ball
game one day every week for that object, to
be divided among our missions. Second Min =
ister-Game Of chance Humph, it isn't. We
can beat you any day In the week. It'd Bits.
MRS. ATUsHRooM-Yes. it rented my heart
strings TO have to discharge poor Thomas.
He was perfect paradox of coachman, and
has been IN the family for generations.
Mrs. Boodle-Why were you compelled to
part with him2
Mrs. MushrOom-It was impossible to keep
him since have put on mourning for dear
Boratio. Thomas is a blonde, so let him go,
and now we have lovely coachman, as black
as my Grape veil.
SOUTHERN CoEaREss&AN has a very
bright boy with q strong political turn Of
mind. The other evening he was walking
with his younger sister. just as the sun was
night. "Oh, brother" she shouted. isn't that
pretty in the SKYE" Yes replied the boy.
very practical "What makes It so red,
brolherY' she asked next; ''are the clouds on
fiTeP' mo, little glri,'' he said, very pro-
foundly. 'ClOuds are too damp to burn. 1t
cant be positive at this distance what makes
il, but 1t looks to me good deal like Senator
Hoar waving the bloody shirt, only it's in the
wrong direction. y Washington critic.