The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-12-04
Muther in Laws.
A ESSAY BY PHILEMON PALAvER.

The above topick has been writ upon
and rewrit upon sence the foundashun
of our furst meternal fourfather. And
yet it is fur frum bein wore out.
The subjict presents such a endless
feeld fur thort, and such a vastly arena
fur the exersize of the mental facilitys,
that emmy exkuse fur the feable attemp
wich l be goin to make, would be su-
perfuitous.
Thare be pints in the histry of muther
in laws wich has never bin developed,
and we must not forgit the fack that the
law wich guverns matters in general
guverns muther in laws, and furbids
emmy two of EN- frum bein eggsactly
alike each other. They may be similar
in name, and prehaps in fgger, but
theyr air dissimular in thare leeding
equalitys. Fur instance, my muther in
law is not like sum other feller's muther
Inu,lIaW IL law, nyther is that other feller's
versey. To proove wat I say, let me
sight sum favorable pints possessed by
my muther in law. My acquaintance
with her is bin long and various, and l
think l know her therrily.
Pint the I. Wenever it happens that
I'm obligated to take walk of a even
in by myself, her q shill use the word
her to distinguish my muther in law
tell I git through )-her anxiety knows
no bounds. Her solicitytude on my
account is fathumliss, and altho she des-
plays no reesins, it's plain no selfish
motion promps her, only fear that
maybe sum wun will kidnap me, else
I'll cum to sum unkindly end. Wat re-
mooves all dout of emmy sellfshness is
that she unveritably wants to be my es-
kort. Eff ever l put emmy muther in law
to sich trubble, may my lounge cleeve
the roof of my mouth.
Pint the 2. Wenever Hester and me
is layin sum little plan fur our futyer,
she draws up her cheer, and gratisly
gives us her idees. Wat does kupple
know about layin plans wat haint bin
marrid but bare 20 year. How unsup-
pressively kind fur grid party to take
sich holesale interist as to make our
plans fur us. Who else but a m. i. !.
would do it? Who else but ditto would
wurry herself about our futyer to sich a
alarming extent. If ecko ansered it
would anser in nifty tones-No wun.
Pint the 3. Anuther little pint in
my muther in law is her perfec willing
ness to oversee our family affares, wich
takes CRATE eel of Kare off of Hester
and me. We Kin Set and rumenate
vile m. i. |. pitches in. Oh, no, she
don't git tired. Faithful sole, its obve-
Gus shes in her proper spear. This
seems to be her fort, and she ruther likes
it.
Pint the 4.-My m. i. |. possesses a
quality wich makes her onfallable. Its
this-wharever we are Chester and me)
thare will she be also. She delitteS to
be near us. To help US over our little
chats together. She loves to Kerect
the washwooman, and look black at the
musick teecher eff he don't cum on time.
No wunder we luv her and admire her
natyer. Wat she does of her own free
will, gratisly, no wun else wouldn't do
under no circumstances. The generl
run of folks is too Karnel minded. 1t
takes muther in laws to possesses these
pints, and they do possess EN- without
emmy Konstraint.
These, and I, 900 uther pints might
subduce, air the distingwishin treats of
my m. i. l., wich makes her to me more
deerer than the apple of my own eye.
Finely and lastly, young men don't
aboose your muther in laws, but take
them for patrons to go by. Wen you
obtain to my age, your wisdum will git
the advantage of you, and you'll wilfully
exclame with me-Wats home without
a muther in law.