Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-03-05

WHICH Hdu oOliC ioOno = ain oN"bANA-
ed over the floor, was invaded by a
flock of between twenty-five and
thirty goats at Columbus, Ind, when
some of the boys closed the door,
and the car was taken out to Ind
annapolis "empty,' as was suppOs-
ed. On arriving at indianapolis,
one of the brakemen in the yard
opened the car door, when the
goats jumped out one after another
scattering in every direction. The
crew, supposing they had been
shipped as freight, engaged in
chase for four hours, capturing
fifteen Of them. They then went to
hunt the agent to see the way bill
to find out how many goats had
been shipped, when they discover
ed the joke.-COiumbRS Dispatch.
So PoOR.-"I am poor and una
bic to obtain work. VIII you kind
~ give me a dollar to buy medi-
cine for my sick wife ?" piteously |
whincd Il seedy individual to a
passing citizen.
"All bosh, no doubt-well, here's
the money; don't bother me again." |
was the ungraclous reply, as he |
ed him silver dollar.
Excuse me, sir, but have you
noticed the latest quotation :" con-
timed the seedy one, nervOusly
lingering the coin; "allow me to
trouble you for the other twenty
one cents BinghdmptoR Repub6-
caA.
ONLY THIS.-At the funeral of
an oil-country resident, who had
been blown up with nitro glycerine,
woman who was taking a last
sad look at the remains said
81 don't see nothin' but a collar
button an piece Of plug tobacco
eyes, macam,r replied the under
taker, revercntly, "that is all that
was ever found.'- HdJper's Bdsdr.
4 BAsHFUL LOyER.-"lss-Say,
Brown, y.you are a unmarried
man; g-g-glye mime a l.l-l'i't-t-Ee-
a-a.adyice, w.w.will you ?"
"Certainly, old man. What can
| do for you?'
wm in l-llove, B.B.Brown, with
the s.s-sweetest g-g-girl in th'ths
w.w.world, and th-th.think she
l.l.loves me. | w.w-want to a-ask
her to m m marry me, but I'm BIB
bashful, and don't q.q.quitc know
how to 60 ab.b-bont it,
"You had better write her a let
ter advised Brown.
THE WORM TURNED.-A father
had been lccturing his young hope
ful unon the evils of staying out |
late at night and getting up late
in the morning.
"You never will amount to any
thing he continued, "unless you
turn over new leaf Remember |
that the early bird catches the |
worm
GLOW about the worm, father" |
inquired the young man, "wasn't
he rather foolish to get up so earlyp
my SON. replied the old man,
solemnly, "that worm hadn't been |
to bed at all. He was on his way |
home"
IT WAS BROKEN.-"WhO broke
this vasel" asked Miss Fussinfeath
er's father, as he entered the parlOr
one morning and found his daugh-
ter gathering up the pieces Of a
majolca vase.
George and broke it between
us last night was the maiden's
innocent reply.
"Broke it between you, did you
Well, next time young Crimson
beak calls you better not sit so |
close"
And he left his daughter to pond
er on what he meant.-YOnkers
Statesman.
ooh, mamma, you'd be surprised
to know how dump Bessie Barton
is She took me into what she
said was the apiary. What doyou
think I saw there p 81 don't know |
DEAR "Why nothing but lot Of |
beehives. There werenO apes there,
not even a monkey"
A wealthy bank officer being ask
ed for aims by needy lri'hman,
replied petulantly, "No, no, l can't
help You ; l have fifty such appll'
cants as you every day." "Sure, an
We moight have a hundred without
costing much" was the response
nCan I see the Mayor y inquired
a member of the city council OF
the formers servant. "Not at pre-
sent he's at dinner" "But my
business is very important" 81
cannot help it, sir; his honor is at
steak.7