The Washington critic., 1886-03-12

representative Alien OF New YORK, one
of the boy Congressman" made his
maiden effort yesterday in speech on the
Indian question, and what he said will in
sure his scalp against Indian depredatlons
for the future.
General Weaver had a map OF the Indian
question In the House yesterday to illus
trate and elucidate his argument. 1t was
q paper map, but did not have a green
back.
II Senator Wilson should send that speech
he read yesterday through the mails at the
advanced rate of postage he advocates, and
pay for II himself, he would turn every en-
ergy at once to securing the passage of a
bankrupt act for his own benefit.
"l am not afraid of the boycott" said n
wealthy young Washington bachelor. "Its
the girl caught have to look out for"
From protopasmic presence,
In state of cilorcscence
The Senatorial Wilson doth conclude
That the Cleveland evolution
VIII evolve the institution
or an imminent "AnocuOus desuetuuc.'
Hence:
There's cosmic ambiguity
About our perpetuity
AS nation, from the White House to the
Flats,
And CoeXistent unity
In olitico-community.
Sic transit gloria Mundi-- -Tuesday-Ratsl
"A new star in Andromeda has been dis
covered" remarked young man at the
| Observatory to an ornamental young lady
| on X street.
"oh,n she responded, 81 haven't seen the
| play yet. Who's the star ?"
| The Buffalo Express wants to call it the
| United States of Grover Cleveland. The
| Etpress should remember the State OF
| Grover Cleveland is not united He's q
single man, don't you know?
Some young women have Anglomania
and some have Banglomania. One is about
| as bad as the olher.
Isn't it getting rather late in the season
for Senator Jones to be pressing his winter
suit III Detroit?
"The President is being pretty thorough,
discussed said lady in the Senate gal
lery to Representative Hemphill.
"Yes," responded Mr.. II.
~ wonder how lie feels over t." she con
tinued
"Well," replied the punster, 81 haven
heard him say, but should imagine h
would feel pretty thoroughly discussedted.
~ believe the President wants to see thu
enforcement of the civil-service law, in let
ter and in spirit" said Member to Sena
| tor.
maybe lie does in spirit" was the reply
"but he doesn't in letter, or he'd send wha
he has on file to the Scnatc.n
Miss Kitty Austin, who is in her eighty
third year, resides at Clarksburg, Nd. Sh
arrived at Rockville yesterday on visit t.
her friends, having walked the entire dis
tance between the two places, which /
fourteen miles. Miss Kitty dresses In primi
tive hut not dcc0il,te style. In day or tw,
she will walk to this city to pay her respect
TO President Cleveland. We warn Mis-
Kitty that the President is not a marrying
man.
| 81 notice that the Commissioner of Agr
culture discountcnances the cultivation o
the tea plant at the public expense re
marked one Democrat to another.
''Yes; and don't think he's right" wa
the reply
"Why not ?"
"Ain't this Democratic adminstra
tion?n
"That's what 1t was elected for.n
"And amt we Democrats ?"
"Of course.n
"And don't Democrats have to have thei
tea g'n
"Certainly,"
"Then, why have the power II one Of tn
most cherished principles of the party ca
not be exercised at the public expense ~
sis 1t that kind of tea ~ asked the othe
man, as his mouth began to water.
"Course it is."
"Shake, pard. I'm dead agin Colmal
Let's have something
TOPICS OF THE DAY.