The Portland daily press., 1886-06-15

81 never saw such man in all my born days.
exclaimed Mrs. Crimsonbeak to her husband, VINO
had been imposed upon III a purchase she had re-
quested him to make for her Il never knew you
to get anything without being cheated"
''What, neyer?" said Crmsonbeak, chestnut
NO never!" emphatically replied Mrs, Grim
sonbeak. ,..-
been suspicious Of it since the day was married"
Scott's Emulsion OF Pure God Liver
OIL with Hypophospnites, is especially
Udlatable for children. DR.. j. II. FRAYsER, Mem
phis, Tenn, says: 81 regard Scott's Emulsion as
valuable medicine for the diseases Of adults, for
infants teethng and sckly children"
Magistrate to new policeman Did you netice
no suspicious character about the neighborhood?
one mon, an asked wot he was dom there at
that time o. night. SEE he: | have no business
here just now, but expect to open jewelry store
in this vicinity later on. At that SEE: wish We
Magistrate (disgusted)- Yes, and he did open a
ewelry store in that vicinity and stole seventeen
New policeman (;lfter a pause)-Begorra, yer
Honor, the mon may have been thafe, but ne
was no loiar.
Pimples and humors once disfgured my face.
The use of Vegetine has removed them.
Herr Theodore Martin had just played one Of
his most he autiful solos for little company as
sembled at the Schubert Musical Institute the
other night when somebody whispered TO lady
present, saying, His violin is about $50 years
old" my gTaclous!' replied the lady, $50
years Well, if l could get such music out Of an
old thing like that I'd have new on if s tole it..
Paptation of the heart, nervousness tremb-
lings, nervous headache, cold hands and feet,
pain in the back and other forms of weakness are
relieved by Carriers Iron Pills, made specially for
the blood, nerves and complexion.
At the Circus De Baggs: Hello! didn't
expect to see you here.
thing. but my children enjoy it so much.
De Bags: Where are The children? don't
see them.
Kaggs They are at home the little dears.
1t wouldn't be safe to bring them in such crowd.
When get home will tell them about the per-
Torrance.
THE SECRET ART OF BEAUTY lies not in cos
metics, but is only impure blood and healthy per-
Torrance Of the vital functions, which can be OBJ
tanned by using Burdock Blood Btters.
boy, hearing his father pray for the mission
airy cause especially for the wants Of the mission,
aries and that their institutions might be supplied
with abundant means, said to him:
'Father, / wish had your money"
why, my sun, NldJ NOuiu you uO Will IL!
asked the father.
II would answer your prayers" replied the
boy.
Do not suffer from Sick Headache moment
longer. 1t is Aot necessary. Carters Little Liver
Pills will cure you. Dose. one little pill. All
druggists sell them.
In the last epistle of Confueius to his friend
Con Lung, still preserved in the archives at Pc
kim occur the following Ina&lfnS:
Do not send the beggar away from your door =
let him stand there as long as he peaseS.
Cast something into every temple plate that is
brought to you--if it is only your eyes.
Lay up your money for rainy day-it rains
every day somewhere in the world.
Look not upon the wine when it is red-red
wines are never the best.
Preserve your faith in mankind-but o. woman
kind!!
Bet not your cash on a horse Taee-borrow your
neighbours cash and bet that.
Where you owe penny pay it at once-where
you owe dollars it is a different thing.
Never put OFF till tomorrow what you can-hire
somebody else to do to-day.