The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-06-01
ABOUT CHEERFUL MEN.
YOUR HABITUALLY CHEERFUL lN0l-
viDuAL is PROBABLY A FRAUD.

ri. Quad Shows Up the Other Side of a
Familiar Picture--A Man May Smile
and BE villain stiii-Ought To BE
Kicked for His Meanness.
If cheerful men were selling for 10 cents
apiece, and had 1909 TO throw away,
woalda't buy one of them. | used to have
positive reverence for a smiling, grin
ning bland voiced man. Many a time We
met smith or Green or White on my way
down town, and it woald jump my soul a
foot high to hear him cali out:
We'll, my boy, beautiful morning, eh
Isn't everything Just io.sly! Why, seem
To be floating IN mid air Why, sir,
woulln t trade tins earth for all the heavens
ever preached about by the ministers Have
a cigar. No, Then have drink2 No.
Dear mel what can do to brighten you up
and make YOU feel like an angel ON roller
skates.o
kad I'd stand oil and look at him and
wonder il the land Leyena the skies did
really contain happ,er soul All. the old
hypocrite, got to know in after years that
his children were afraid of him, his wife
tremhed as he he entered the door, and that
it was his dairy habit 10 growl out as he left
the door.
Wood, bought 81 worth last week. If
that's gone wen SO without until Saturday.
You are the most extravagant woman in
Detroit believe You burn it up to spite
me. Soap Didn't get bar last Satur-
day? If you let the children play horse
with the soap you must take tho conss-
quences. Go down on the ferry. I'd like
to see myself Juggling three or four young
uns and a lrnping wife around town.
Your babitually cheerful man is an old
fraud and a liar He is Well dressed, while
his children are the rag-bags of the neigh
borhood. He has dollar for cigars when
his wife wears bonnet six years Old. He
passes for whole souled fellow with the
public, but is a fault finder at home You'll
sac him taking the cool breeZes on the river,
while his family are weltering in stutfy
house on some back street
PLEASANT MAN ABOUT TUE HOUSE
want to see man grin when there's
anything 10 grin at, but when Green gets
| up in the morning and declares he hasn't
| had meal fit to eat for the last three
| months. and that he can't see why his wife's
| always grooming around and his children al
| ways whining he has no business to stop
| the first man he meets, with smile clear
back to his ears and shout out:
why, old fel, how solemn you look
| Brace up, man-life is worth the living ten
times overi'
used to reverence Green He lad a
| grip of the hand like carpenters yise-ha
| had voice as bland as June-he'd make
| consHmptiVe believe that nothing more than
a sore heel was the matter. | used to lie in
ambush for him just to hear his hearty
voice and see his serene countenance. and
| Ia 60 about my days work wondering what
sort of guardian angel he had. | found
out one day when a policeman had to SO in
and stop him from beating his wife.
When you find man who can grin over
the servant girls jumping out at an hours
notice with wife fiat in bed and the chill
dren ha wing scarlet fever look around the
eyes don yoa go off on a fishing trip with
him When man can soar among the
angels with bill collectors ringing his door
belfast weeks grocery bill unpaid-the
children wanting shoes the rent running
behind and his wife coughing all night long
he's an Internal Old fraud and ought to be
kicked. When a chip who has frozen the
children, iawed the cook and blasted his
wife as a sort of morning tonic before leav-
| ing the house meets you about a block
from the gate and is troubled because YOU
haven't got your angels harp on your
shoulder, keep your hand on any stray
half dollar you happen to have about you
| He's mean enough to steal chicken broth
from boy with broken back--M. Quad
ia Detroit Free Press