The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-07-29
ADVICE TO CLEVELAND.
A Letter of Bill Nye's Which Has
Just Seen the Light.
HUDsoN, Wis, June 8, 1856

1h0 l1Ous NIONol SloNSlhnuj w doHilS
ton, d. G.
My DEAR SIR You have now as
sumed a new duty and taken upon
yourself an additional responsibility.
Not content with the great weight OF
National affairs sufficient to crush any
other pachyderm, you have cheerfully
and almost gleefully become a married
man. While | cannot agree with you
politically, Grover, am forced to ad-
mire your courage.
This morning a new life opens out
to you-the life OF married man. 1t
is indeed humiliating situation. To
be president of the United States,
the roustabout Of a free people, is a
trying situation but to be a newly
married president, married in the full
glare of official life, with the eye of a
divided constituency upon you, is to
place yourself where nerve is absolute
ly essential. l am surprised, Grover,
honestly, as between man and man,
that you should have tried to add
housekeeping to all this other agony.
Had you been young and tender un-
der the wings / might have under
stood it; but you must admit, in the
quiet and sanctity OF your own home
that you are no gosling. You have
arrived at mans estate. You have
climbed the barbed wire fence which
separates the fluff and bloom and
blossom and bumble-bees of impetu-
Gus youth from the yellow fields and
shadowy orchards of middle life. You
now stand in the full glare of liie's
meridian. You are entering upon a
new experience. Possibly you think
that because you are President the
annoyance peculiar to a new, green
groom will not reach you. Do not
fool yourself in this manner. Others
have made the same mistake. Posi-
ton, wealth, and fame cannot shut
out the awkward and trying circum-
stances which attend the married
man even as the sparks fly upward.
1t will seem odd to you at first, Mr.
President, after the affairs of the ma
ton have been put aside for the day
and the government fre-proof safe
locked up for the night, to go to your
boudoir and converse with bride
with one corner Of her mouth full ol
pins. A man may write a pretty fail
message to Congress, one that will be
printed all over the country, and yet
he may not be fitted to hold a conver
sation with one corner of a woman's
mouth while the other is filled witt
pins. To some men it is given to bt
great as statesmen, while to others i
is given to be fluent conversationalist,
under these circumstances.
Mr.. President, may be taking
great liberty in writing to you ant
touching upon your private affairs
but | noticed that everybody else wa
doing ii and so l have nerved mysel
up to write to you, having once beel
a married man myself, though not un
der the same circumstances. When
was married was only plain justic
ofthe peace, plodding quietly alon
trying to do my duty. You was the
sheriff of your county. Little did yo
think in those days that now yo
r would be freshly married Presiden
{ and ] the author of several pieces tha
. have been printed in the papers. Ii
tie did we think then, when | wa
d justice of the peace in Wyomin
and you sheriff in New York, tha
q to-day your timothy lawn would
kicked all to pieces by your admirin
constituents, while l would be know
, and loved wherever the English lar
+ guage is tampered with.
). So we have risen together, you to
point from which you may be easil
. observed and hayed alive by the new
:. papers, while | am the same pleasan
unassuming. gentlemanly friend of til
n poor that I was when only q justice {
q the peace and comparatively III
know.
! ! cannot close this letter without e
q pressing wish that your married Ii
i may be a joyous one, as the paper
Laramie has said, "that no cloud ms
ever come to mar the horizon of yol
welded bliss" (This sentence is n
e my own. copy it verbatim from
k wedding notice OF my own written
1t western journalist who is now at t
y the Old Woman's home,)
Ie Mr.. president, hope you will n
s. feel that I have been too forward
d writing to you personally over I
O. own name. l mean to do what
c, best for you. You can truly say I'll
rs all II have ever done in this W
e. has been for your good. l speak in
o. plain way sometimes, but l don't be
70 about the bush. l see that you do /
a want to have any engrossed bills 81
le to you for couple of weeks. This