The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1886-02-05
Ahead of Time

There is little piece of household
diplomacy which have never been able
to comprehend, and for which have in
vain sought satisfactory explanation.
! refer to he practice of keeping the
family clock in such condition that it
indicates anywhere from fifteen minutes
to an hour ahead of the correct time.
Ii the object be to deceive anyone in the
domestic circle into more hurried prep
arations in the morning. then there
might be something in it if the person
don't know the trick; but if it always
happens that everybody concerned
knows that the tilncpiccc is incorrect,
and governs himself accordingly. And
SO the little farce goes on, from week to
to week, dcluding no one unless to the
incorrect visitor who call to spend the
evening, and to whom the true state of
affairs is probably not explained if he
happens to belong to the genus "borc
But there comes Il time when the head
oil the household gets ashamed of him
self of pcrpntuating the deceit. and in Il
spasm of virtuouS rcmor>c he turns back
the hands to the proper hour, and Won
ders to what extent he is responsible for
the falsehood lie has all along been en-
couraging But he will now make
amen,ls-from henccforth he will keep
the clock right on the dot; and with this
praiscworthy determination fixed upon.
he rctircs for the night. A period of
inanimation naturally cnsues. from,
which he is at length half-ro,scd by the
clock striking six--thc next morning.
All forgetful Of his great act the prcvi-
Gus night, he drowsily muttcrs, ':Wcll,
that makes it five O'Clock snoozc a
little longer" And he snoozcs. Another
warning from the clock-one, two, three.
four, five, six, sercn' lie wakes in
time to count the strokcs--hc rubs his
eyes, and the true situation flashes
through his mind, and he is clothed and
down stairs before yoa could say "Jack
Robison"-if you said it slow enough.
But it is too late. The train that is to
take the fishing party away is ut this
time pulling out Of the depot, and the
rest are wondering what has become of
Brown.
Brown? Well, talk abort being as
mad as Il hornet-it is nothing compar-
ed with his state of feeling, Talk
about a woman being disappointed over
the non-arrival of her new bonnet
well, that somewhat approaches Browns
condition. And how he scowly at the
innocent little clock, as he places upon
it the whole blame for spelling his an
ticipatcd day of pleasure. But he will
be rcvcngcd. He approaches the ticker
with determined look on his face, hur-
ridly grasps it--and turns the hands on
again until they arc as incorrect as be-
fore, and henccforth they stay in that
condition.
Slight though the ticking of the clock
may be, its sudden cessation has won
dcrful influence upon the inmates of the
room i'll which the timckcepcr is locat-
cd. A dim realization of something
wrong steals over the scnscs--a feeling
as if something of value had been lost,
or friend had gone away perhaps
never to return, or us if some of tho
children were sick, until suddenly some
one looks up and cxclaims, why, the
clocks stoppcd!' And Immediately
the ill-detined forcbodings dissipate, tho
shadow of gloom mclts away, and. as
the winding-up process is completed,
and the CHEEKY tick-tick rccommences.
the family circle regains its wonted
buoyancy of spirits and the members
wonder what it was that made them
feel so gloomy few moments before.
PttSbMrgh Chronicle -Ucrald.