Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-08-27

THE HOUSE IN TREE.
that the door is barred and they are i'm
prisoned About a year ago Texas crank
presented himself as a silent candidate for the
presidency. Said he: My people told me
would be king if l stayed in a tub of cold
water all night. did so, and I heard the
whisperings of inspiration. | expect that
George Washington will soon appear and
cover me with jewels / want to pre-
sent myself to the president as a silent
candidate for the next term in the White
House. He was, of course, not permitted to
see the president and what became of him is
not known About the patent office you may
often see the perpetual-motion crank and
numbers of letters are gotten at the patent Of
flee daily from people who claim to have sue
cessfully invented this. One of the examiners
tells me that an old man and his son walked
all the way from Tennessee not long ago to
patent perpetual motion, but on being asked
to furnish a working model, and being
shown that their idea could not succeed, they
went away in despair. There are cranks who
want seats in the cabinet and there are
numerous cranks who think they have the
right to go into the treasury and use the gov
eminent money as they choose Now and
then religious crank calls upon some of the
society ladies in Washington, and not long
ago one presented himself to leading SEN
ators wife and she got rid of him by humor-
ing his religious decisions.
One of the most noted crnnks about Wash
ington was an old man named Pinchover,
who had number of decisions and who used
to come into the White House and congress
and the various departments, and make his
demands in very noisy manner. He is in
the asylum now near Washington, | think,
and when / last saw him he was being car
ried out Of the house of representatives by the
sergeant-at-arms and yelling like u trooper.
There are a number of queer characters in
Washington who can hardly be labeled
cranks, yet who are so different from the aver
age run of humanity that they come very
close to it. One of these is DR.. Mary Walker,
who struts about Washington in mems
clothes wearing black broadcloth pantaloons.
patent leather boots, Prince Albert coat
and plug hat She Is a short-haired little
woman Of less than five feet, and her hands
and feet are small She has a weakened,
dried-up face and she looks like funny
little dwarf as she struts about with cane
daintily held between her fingers. She likes
to be seen, and wherever there is respect,
able free crowd you will find her in it, She
calls upon the president, representatives and
when she can get it.
A queer woman about Washington is an
old lady with a high bonnet and doughty
complexion. You see her often about the
Capitol, and no one seems to know much
about her think she lives at the Louise
Home for Old Ladies' and / understand she
has the blood Of the best families of Virginia
In her veins
The man who hives in a tree Is fast acquir-
ing a nationA reputation. He calls his home
Airy Castle, and he has lived in it now win
ter and summer, for several years 1t con-
sists Of q tent-liks house, built upon a pine
platform fastened between two oak trees
The walls of the house are wood, but the roof
is tent of a ridged shape. The platform
is, l should judge, thirty-fve feet square, and
it is fastened to the trees as high up from the
ground as is the first story of business
building He goes up to it on ladder, and
he has a wide platform outside on which he
can come during hot evenings in summer
and enjoy the air He has the interior of
his tent house comfortably furnished, and he
heats it with an oil stove. With table or
two and chair and good bed, and with
pictures and photographs strung about the
room, he has very comfortable bachelor quar-
tiers, and thinks he likes the notoriety which
his queer house gives him. He is a clerk in
the pension office at 81, 800 year He is a
one-armed man, dark whiskered, pleasant
faced, and about 40 years of age.
One of the queerest men in Washington is
a man who prides himself on his shape, and
who pads himself out of all recognition. He
is a tall broad-shouldered fellow, with a face
like that of bully and with eyes that never
appear to he looking at any one or anything
| His broad shoulders arn uoI6a1 with ,nanu
inches of cotton, so that his blue flannel coat
falls in at the arms where the padding ends
He has very large cuffs, and these are so long
that you cannot at times see his hands, which
are very small and remarkably white His
feet are also small, and he wears boots with
! high French heels. His head is large, but on
its top he has a little fiat derby several sizes
too small for him, and this he pulls down half
over his eyes, making him look like a drunken
sailor of the dude order You always see
him about the book auctions and find that
be has one of the finest libraries in Washing
ton. He knows all about books and seems TO
have plenty of money! His family is, l un-
derstand, rich, and he is given a big allow
ance annually to use as he pleases.
These are hut specimens of the many cranks
in Washington. Amy night, about the hotels,
you may strike a long-haired man,
and on the streets you will see daily short
haired women. Men with hobbies congre-
gate here, and there are always plenty Of
street preachers, infidels and men with
striking ideas ready to harangue any crowd
they can get together. At the Capitol the
crank thrives and multiplies as the years go,
and the man who stripped himself the other
day and stood naked in the rotunda at mid
day, pretending TO think himself a statue, has
had his counterparts in times past, though as
yet no ones crankiness has taken Just the
same direction.
FRANK GEORGE CARPENTER