Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-04-26
Silence does not always

Silence does not always mark wisdom.
Thou mayst as well expect to grow
stronger by always eating, as wiser by
always reading.
The Woman-question: ''Now, isn't this
pretty time of night for you to get
homer"
The seasick man who casts his bread
upon the waters, will not find 1t after
many days.
For close application to business, moth
| ing on this footstool exceeds mustard
| plaster
''Can February March, asks the pun
ster with sickly smile. Perhaps not,
but April May.
The Smith college girls have organized
a society for the protection of birds.
The larks of the young gentlemen will re-
ceive their first attention.
''If man could only catch fish as
easily as he can lie about it," laments a
Texas editor. He could if he understood
fishing as well as lying.
Little Bess (who is so used to seeing
baby creep that she thinks it his natural
mode Of traveling): go mamma, come
quick! Baby is standing on his hind legs.
During the recent freeze in Florida the
washings froZe stiff on the lines in some
places. Negroes declared that ode good
Lord starched all de clothes for US in de
night"
Five millions needles recently sunk
with an ocean steamer to the bottom of
the sea. We hope the mermaids will
take the hint and make themselves some
clothes.
| "My boy" SAID the good deacon re-
provingly, 'do you know where little
boys go who go fishing Sunday?" "Well
, most on 'em goes to de lake. OATS de
best place."
Busy editor (to troublesome applicant
who persists in calling): "To-day il
Thursday, and I'm very busy. Suppos,
you call next Thursday and then I'll tel
you when to call again."
Father" said Rollo, "what is mean
by the intoxication of wealth." ''Mean
that money is tight replied Rollo's faith
er, who had been shining around all tn
afternoon with piece of paper lookin.
for an autograph.
Hancock f.rmar onca aSLod n.v;,
Dickson what ''time in the moon" h
planted his corn, and elected the follow
ing answer; II don't plant corn in tn
moon. When l get ready to plant
plant it in the ground
A clergyman having forgotten his note
one Sunday, apologized to his congrega
tion by saying that he would have to de
pend upon the Lord that morning fo
what he might say, but in the afternoo
he would come better prepared.
bright little boy who had been en-
gagged in combat with another boy, wa
, reproved by his aunt, who told him h
: ought to wait till the other boy "pitche
into him." "Well," exclaimed the littl
hero, ''but if l wait for the other boy t
begin, I'm afraid there won't be any fight.
Tramp-Will you please give me te
cents, sir? I'm on my way home to die
at Gentleman (handing him the money!
don't mind giving you ten cents for s
: worthy purpose as that. but you
breath smells terribly of whiskey. Tram
I know it does, sir, whiskey is what
KILN me.
There was irony as we'll as wit in whs
Sydney Smith said On taking the pa
ish at Foster he writes, sWhen I bega
to thump the cushion of my pulpit, as
my wont when preach, the accumulate
dust of $50 years made such cloud tn,
for some minutes lost sight of nv CO,
gregation.
THESE ARE SOLID FACTS.
The best blood purifier and system regulator ey
placed within the reach of suffering humanity tru
is Electric Bitters Inactivity of the Liver b
iousness, Jaundee, Constipation. Weak Kldne,
or any disease of the urinary organs, or whoev
requires an appetizer, tonic mild stimulant, W