, 1886-02-18
The Growers.

There are GROWERS in every community
like the mumps and meazIes, the tax
Collector and the poor, we have them
always pFesent with us-people who are
self-Constituted censors of everything
q the heavens above, and in the earth
beneath, and in the waters under the
! earth. We have a sprinkIing of them in
and about Port Townsend. There nre
certain infallible signs by which you can
tell them whenever they are found. We
Will give few specimens: No. is a
young man with healthy corporosity,
cigar attachment and general sIeery
look-teyoid OF Energy enough 10 get
ont o: tie way oi louse. unless lie were
.W'piy scared. He does not earn his
living, and probably never will, but
generally gets about the best there is
going in the eating line and never fails
10 get hold of sumehody eise'S evening
AG"s g., and ate. G,ynuri;3g its comforts.
&c !-'ws y J-aWls Oa: las opinion that
its on CiCfuHy tgGn'g paper" Having
undergone the terrible mental strain
necessary to make the aforesaid remark,
he prudent!y reserves his remaining
vitality for the oxertion of sucking
another cigar. No. 2 is n old moss-back
who has lived in the country for a gen
Grafton and has managed during that
time to keep out OF the poorhouse, some
how, though it has been hard tug, even
with good health and free clans every
low tide. The tax-parers owe him lively
gratitude for having successfully found
his own living without being a charge
upon them. He always goes over to
neighboF B's every Thursday and reads
the WEEKLY ARGUS through; he never
paid quarter OF dollar toward it
support, but always manages TO gets hold
OF it-like the famous ~ or who never
missed & meal and EeYer put VI a cent"
he never fIiis, either, 10 find fault
because tho paper hns got nothin' in IT."
because II isnt published IN sixteen page
form with the news of the world, and a
few illustrations thrown in; and woe be
to the publisher il the copy he get hold
of happens TO be imperfectly printed.
We expect some day to receive an order
from him to either do better or shut up
shop. No. 3 is pleasant shabby -gentcel
man Of the world who banks on his
iilustrious ancestors and wears out bar
room chairs while he discourses glibly
on the great questions that agitate the
nation. He generally boards at ono
hotel as long as they will let bim--for
fear, probably, of hurting the proprietor's
feelings; when obliged to move, however,
he always goes-to the next hotel that
will take him. He finds fault with
everybody and everything from President
Cleveland down TO the ssrmon he hears
in church; the ARGUS fails, like many
| other things human and mutable, to
come up to this fellows esthetie taste
and so he never fails to worm in O word
against ii edgeWise. But why continue?
These samples are from actual life, and
doubtless they will have successors
abundantly capable OF carrying on the
great cause Of GROWERS generally. We
hesitate to give this article publicity
through fear OF exciting popular
despondency because the individuals
herein described were not constituted a
general committee of arrangements at
the creation, in order that the imperfec-
tions OF the universe might have been
averted in time. People have sorrows
enough to bear at best, and it may be
cruel to thus reveal their awful misfor-
tunein all its hideousness and iepiorable
reality. We are doing our best TO please
the growlers, even those who never do
anything themselves and find iucessau.
!ault with those Who do. We would
like to have every mothers son cf them
confined where they would have 20 pump
or drown. 1t would be an Interesting
experiment to ascertain if any one Of
them would develop ambition enough to
save their worthless necis. Ii they
didn't, the loss to the community would
be about 0-7512.