The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-09
ENTIRELY TOO ORDERLY.

iiiS, uoSSN ~ NoCS o"lllSlC lcIIlDiS SuE-
prisin'-he does, for q fact."-M Chicago
Ledger.
ENTIRELY o ORDERLY.
Merchant-"I like your looks, my
boy, and perhaps / can find work for
you. You are quite orderly, do you
think ?" d
Boy-"Oh, yes"
you have Il place for everything"
"Oh, yes. l have 4 great many places
Tor everything. "-PhHadelphia CaU.
NOT TO BE IGNORED.
Big Sister Shouting to BebbD-Bah-
bee! You arc wanted to do an Grand.
Bobby shouting back)-Tcll mother
1 can't do it now. Pm busy.
Big Sister-It's not mother who wants
you; it's father.
Bobby (hastily)-All right. Tell him
I'll be there in a minute.
wANTE DIRECT
"You haven't committed any crime,
have you, Mr.. Fcatherly 2" asked Bobby
with ONE concern.
Don't he foolish, Bobby, interposcd
his mother; '"of course Mr.. Fcathcrly
hasn't committed any crime"
II know you think he hasn't, because
you told sister this morning that he is
the most innocent young man you ever
saw, but wanted to sec if he'd say So"
A HAPPY GATHER.
Sand an exasperatcd Texas father at
the dinner table:
"You children turn up your noses at
everything on the table. When l was
a boy I was glad to get enough dry
bread to cat"
II say, pa, you are having a much
better time 'Of it, now you are living
with his, ,aint you ?" remarked little
Temmy:-1cras Siftings.
AHwoMAN's
Young Pcrkins-Ethcl, in u few short
days l will be far, far away.
Ethel Nanguidl O-How far?
Young p, (dcspcratcly)-I know not
thousands of miles perhaps. To-mor-
row night Ishall leave this house, per-
haps forever.
Ethel with intercst)-What's the
matter Philadelphia Call.
DOTS AND DAs1IEs.
AN indignant correspondent asks a
morning paper why it is that IL little boy
ofsix is.arrestcd for fishing in n certain
pond lin which q fish commissioner
bathcs regularly. Without committing
ourselves it would seem that it is be-
cause the little boy is not II fish commits
%>sioner.
"WoULDN'T he 60 along with you 2"
asked:a Judge 4 day or two ago of q
policeman accused of numerically club
bling a prisoner. ''Oh, yes, he went
along all right" replied the policeman.
"Then why did you club him." asked
the judge. And sure, your Honor,
what did l have the club for :"
JOHN c. FREMONT, who is 70 years
old, says that he camped where Chicago
is, where Minneapolis is and where Salt
Lake City is before there was n house Mt
either place. He also tried to camp
where Cleveland is, but was driven off
at thni Buchanan's mouth.
Two tramps stopped ut the house of a
Very soon he came out with a bloody
anything, Jack ?" Eyes" growled the
satferer. -:I've got the widows might"
ooh, DEAR" yawned a little boy after
he had returned from church, II don't
wond1T :ha world is SO full of wicked
ness" why so!" asked the astonished
mother. '"'Cause God picked out such
a tedious day for Sunday"
AN exchange says: 1.-THE backbone
of the Cleveland strike is broken"
That is we'll enough as far as it goes;
but it isnot so much the backbone of q
Estrike thatrnceds breaking as the jaw
bone.-Puck.
IT didn't afford lis much consolation
when the thermometer was celebrating
its centennial, to predict that, accord
ing to the belief of scientists, ''thc sun
is losing its heat" Our earth seem to
inG all the heat the sun loses.
WHEN u tramp sees a woman with q
pistol or a gun in her hands he goes
right on without winking, but let her
appear ON the scene with a dippcr of hot
water and then he makes tracks like \
Kangaroo.
SOMEBODY told Lady Morgan that a
certain bishop was so lax in church OBJ
%scrvance that she would cat a horse
Ion Ash Wednesday," sOf course he
would" said the lady, eff 1t was a fast
lIhorse."
'"What dis the best thing for potato
sbugs?" asks,.a rural subscriber Up to
the hour of going to press nothing has
beenrfound more satisfactory than pota-
toes.
THE king of Siam has about three
hundred children. This explains why
the ~favorite hymn among the people of
Utah is ''Just;as SIAM"
He: 81 see,the latest idiocy of wo>
man is to have q monkey for a pet"
She: "This is not new. It was SO
when we got married"
SOME hopeless wives will take their
lives and othces will to law go; those
live of course, where's no divorce, and