The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1886-03-03
ARTEMUS WARD.
Nothine But a wag Though in That Line
Genius

Edmund Kirke. in Harper's Magazine for March,
Calling upon Mr.. Lincoln in one of the
darkest days in the late war, was surprised
to see upon the mantel piece a couple of vol
umes-One small Bible, the other "Artemus
Ward, his book" "Do you read Artemus
Ward2' asked him, 81 don't read anybody
else" he answered, with care-worn face;
"he is inimitable" In the plain building
before which we are standing the inimitable
Snowman first set up his wax figgers;' and
if we enter here we may encounter the assist
ant editor of the Plaindealer who was the
associate and intimate friend of ga. Ward
when the latter was the editor of this journal.
He has many anecdotes to tell of the genial
Snowman. He describes his appearance,
when he first came to the Office, as decidedly
rustic. He was. he says, loug, and lank,
with flowing hair, and loosely fitting coat,
and trousers too short in the legs and bag
ging at the knees. His humor was irrepres-
sible, and always bUbbling over, and he kept
all about him in a constant state of merri-
ment. He was wag, nothing but wag,
but in that line genius. He could see only
the ludicrous side of a SUBJECT. Going away
once on short vacation, he engaged this
gentleman to perform his work during his
absence. He carefully instructed him as to
his duties, and in doing so drew from his
pocket a tow string about foot and a half
long, and told him he must furnish that
amount of copy per day, leaving on his desk
the measure as reminder OF the quantity.
About this time he was called upon to re-
spond to toast to the press at a Ben Frank
lin festival held in Cleveland. He rose to
his feet, hung his head for few moments in
silence, and then sat down, having said moth
ing. In his account of the festival in the
next days Plaindealer his speech was re-
ported by a blank space of about half a
column of eloquent silence.
This gentleman remembers that S0an after
"a. Ward" entered the lecture field he was
invited by theatrical manager in San Fran
cisco to deliver a course in California, The
season being close at hand, the manager
asked him by telegraph: What will you
take for forty nights in California? Answer
Immediately" Ward answered Immediately
by telegraph, Brandy and water" The
Joke was noised throughout the State, and
the result was when Artemus went there to
lecture on his own account, he was met
everywhere with overlooking houses. While
engaged in lecturing IN the West, he wrote
this gentleman the following epistle
my DEAR GEoRGE-I want you to do me a
favor. l relied on one of my own men to
save me the press notice. He didn't Will
you collect them for me at once, and send
them to me at the Bates house. Now this is
ticking your gOod-nature, but you'll do it for
me, won't you George? Do you know that
you remind me more and more of the noble
Romans. don't know who they were, but
you remind me of them; you do, indeed.
And could l have appealed to one of those
noble Romans to cut out some press notices
for me in vain?. Iguess not. Go on, young
man, go on. Deal kindly with the aged.
Remember that we are here for only a little
while, and that riches take unto themselves
wings and fly away. Intoxicate the shun-
ming bowl. Support your county paper.
Love the Lord, and send me those notices.
Write likewise. And now, kind sir, farewell.
Farewell.
."when other lips and other hearts
"Yourn, my pretty gazelle.
"a WARp.v