The Iola register., 1886-11-05
sAsY.oNIAM cAIsTMuTs.

How Hippo. Nebachadnessar's Chsnbsr-
lain, Eatertained His August Master.
It came to pass on certain night
that the great King Nebuchadnezzar.
having attended lodge. was aweary
when he returned to the palace, and
his mind was disquieted within him.
He lay down upon his bed; but sleep
fed from his eyes and slumber from his
eyelids.
He, therefore, called unto his cham
berlain, and said unto him:
my sleep goeth from me. Where
fore, pray thee, tell me what to do that
l may sleep. ere hew thee into mince-
meat, ant make thy father house by
word in this great city of Babylon.
Now the chamberlain's name was
Hippo.
And Hippo was sore affrighted. and
his knees smote together, and he said
within himself:
what shall I do? For am in sore
plight My master taketh in the town
with the boys, and straitway expecteth
ME to reduce the abnormal exaggeratiOn
Oh MS Cranium.
This he saith to himself. Then he
speaketh aloud:
20, King. live forever! will bring
unto thee the daily Babylon Blo,opipe,
and read aloud the funny column there
of. So shalt thou be sOOthed, and thy
sleep shall return unto thee again"
Then spake Nebuchadnezzar:
'.Thou sayest well, q. Hippo! As I
never read the papers, it will be anus
ing to me, doubtless"
Then Hippo. the chamberlain, having
brought the file, began to read, saying:
"A horseman magnilicently arrayed
passed through this city this morning.
He was clothed in a suit of armor of
solid gold, and his helmet of FURNISHED
gold was set with precious stones ex-
ceeding rare. His horse was a price
less Arab of the purest blood. On in
quiry he was found to be plumber of
Damascus, come hither on his way
home from his vacation"
"Ha, ha, ha!' laughed Nebuchad-
nezzar; show oft have l been charmed
by these plumber jokes. When yet
little lad, my nurse did tell them to me
my nurse, Susanbee AnthOnee. But
read the next, o, Hippo!'
And Hippo read:
''An aged man crawled slowly into
the Office Of Tigris street merchant
yesterday, and handed a letter to the
chief clerk, and the chief clerk carried
it to his master.
Yes said the master, in astonish-
ment: this is a reply to letter sent
by a messenger boy fifty year since.
"'Yes,' remarked the man who
brought it; have now brought you the
answer
''What!' exclaimed N Nebuchadnezzar.
in glee: ''doth the messenger boy joke
still live? How well remember read
ing it in the annals of the Ark be-
lieve Noah told it first. But read some
mOrcr'
And Hippo read: "a damsel residing
near the Sheep Gate was seen emerging
from the front door few mornings
since. She carried tablespoon, which
she laid carefully on the curbstone.
What do ye with the spoon?' asked
her father.
I" 'Sir!' she replied: it is that the ice
man may have where to place our sup
ply of ice. y"
"Goodr' exclaimed the King; "my
grandfather was addicted to Just
such pleasantries with the ice-man. Let
us have some morer' Hippo saw that
his master was getting somewhat sleepy.
So he saith:
1.-The next, o. King, is in regard to a
goat, and depicteth him in the act OF
making a meal from circus posters
"Ah!' said Nebuchadnezzar; ''the
goat survives, too, does he? 1 used to
read just such things when was boy,
in an almanac thousand years old,
preserved in my cabinet of curiOsities.
What is the next one about?'
''The mule. o. King"
"Read it not. for the possible jests on
the mule and his hinder hoofs are en-
graved on the Obelisks of ancient Egypt.
What are the others abont?"
1.-The next treateth of ice-cream; the
one following mentioneth baseball um-
pires in a tritling manner, and the last
speaketh iiippantly of mother-in-
law"
But Hippo read none of them aloud,
for, even as he spoke. Nebuchadnezzar
fell into deep sleep. from which he did
not awake until next day at eleven