St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-03-13

or is It because YOU are married? and tell
me why do YOU have such hOrrid name,
for mamma saws II she had name like that
she would have II laundried or painted?"
One AT time, please, and make them a
little easier. Ever since we had the honor
of being born we have entertained q big
wad of kindness and affection for the dear
ladies. but as they are a subject we don't
know much about, we prefer to let them do
their own talking. AS for being married,
oh YES: we have got the most robust and
healthy mother in-aw of any man in this
section of the country As 10 the name,
YOU had better get cake of grease eradi-
Gator; sold at all drug stores. Ira. Ia.
4 singular coincidence Scene in ladies'
bath room, Hotel Ryan: Stout Lady
Aren't these baths just Jolly? DO YOU
know | have only taken seven and have
been reduced sixteen pOunds?"
Slender Lady-"Pm Just delighted with
them. ! have taken about nine baths and
think | have gained fully a dozen
pounds" At this point oensation was
created by a young lady falling into the
plunge and the conversation came to an
end. Contributed.
AN ODE TO A CHESTNUT.
And now Old Winter, since you've had'your
sway,
prithee pack your grip and bic away;
Why will ye as craven dotard cling,
To burthen still the Donny skirts of spring.
Co. take tumble-you're too old TO dance;
Then why not give the blushing maid O
chance?
Sect While you tarry. peering DER the fence,
Her rose-shod troops of vestals call you
hence!
! say, old boy, no more you're Young and nip
Then do the graceful caper, pray, aud skip.
Scene box Office of the ST. Paul Grand.
Tme-LaSt Monday afternoon. o'clock.
Conversation follows sharp ring from the
telephone:
Noice-Hello.
Mrs. Scott-Well. what is ii?
Voice-ls this the Grand opera house?
Mrs Scott-Yes.
| Voice-WhO is this?
Mrs. S.-Mrs. Scott.
Voice-Ah; is Mr.. Scott there?
| Mrs $40. sir.
Voice-Is Mr.. SimOns in?
Mrs. S.-He's just gone TO supper.
Noce-Mrs. Scott.
Mrs. S. Who by this time Is becomin!
impatient, as a long string of people are a
sittingsl. "Well. what is it,"
Voice-Can you give me seats one an'
two in ii, the front row?
Mrs. S.-For what night?
N0ice-To-night.
Mrs. S.-Those seats have been sold Ions
ago.
Voice-Can you give me seven and eigh
in section X?
Mrs. S.-YeS, sir.
Voice-Is that the best you can do?
Mrs. S.-The very best.
The voice vanishes and Mrs. Scott hang
up the trumpet with a sigh of relief.
| lapse of two minutes takes place when IN
phone commences to whoop it up again a
a rattling gait.
Mrs. ScOtt-Well?
Voice-Is this Mrs. Scott?
Mrs. SIT is.
Voice-Are you sure those seats in * ar
the very best you have left?
Mrs. S.-YeS. sir.
Voice-Well, my wife has a cold, and
don't want seats in the draft.
Mrs. S.-They are very comfortabl
seats
Noice-Wait q moment until consul
my friend please.
He cousults his friend and then yell:
"Hello!'
Mrs. Swell?
Voice. guess you needn't bother abOU
them now; if we decide to go I'll call yO
up later.
Mrs. Scott didn't say anything. gent
reader. but if she had been a man-we 50
if she had been a man. mind you've don
know but what the fellow at the other Ell
of the phone would have heard Somethir
drop, and it would have dropped might
loud, too.
c. II. Lienau attended the editors COZ
vention at Cincinnati and then hied him
the land where the orange blossoms grow
1t is said that he will go to Europe
June.
Henry McLachlan, the rotund organist
st. Mary's church, is already at work {
p his Easter carols.
Silk tiles are affected by our young me
this spring, and many of the boys loo
| | very nobby.
' Officer Andy Call is on day duty again,
= being the first time he has seen daylight.
to speak, in a couple of months. He sa
e the change does him good.
The young man whose head looks as If
e had been shaved with a lawn mower is
: deck again, and all the signs point
spring.