Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-06-16
BY f. j. WHEELER.

Some cranks revolve and others
evolve. The crank has done both.
He revolved in his certain facts, and
evolved from the certain fancies and
conclusions.
OF course, coming from a crank,
these are of no value; but they may
be Of interest as a matter of curiosi-
ty.
One of these is that the politicians
of both old parties in u country
occupy themselves chiefly in that an
mated game, "Simon Says Thumbs
Up" The Simon in the case is u.s.
ually the liquor dealer.
At another time it seems to this
crank as if the two old parties were
playing at see.saw. The "teeter"
rests on a barrel marked "Old Bour-
bon," or "XXX Ale.' On one end
is the republican party, and on the
other end is the democratic party,
each trying to see which is the heav-
Ter. But in the middle stands the
saloon-keeper, with one foot on one
side Of the barrel and the other foot
on the other side, and by leaning his
weight to this side or that he deter
mines all the ups and downs.
These are fancies the cranks has
evolved. Now for n few of the facts.
The first fact is that within the
last four years eleven republican and
eight democratic state legislatures
have refused even to allow the peo-
pie to vote on the question Of saloons
or no saloons.
When the crank went to school he
used to be taught that this is a coun-
Try Of the people, for the people, by
the people. Our state legislators
don't seem to think that this applies
when the saloon is at stake. May
be not. They ought to know.
Another fact is that while the Fed
eral Congress has within the last few
years appointed commissions to in
vestlgate into the tariff question, the
silver question, the grasshopper
plague, the pneumonia epidemic
among cattle, the hog cholera, and
many similar commissions, it has
year after year, at the crack of the
liquor dealers whip, voted down the
bill to create a commission which
should report on the effects that the
liquor traffic has upon society. And
the funny thing is that it doesn't
make any difference whether it is a
democratic or republican congress.
the bill is always showed under
most the same.
The crank has an idea that the eff.
fects Of the liquor traffic are almost
as important to the country as the
effects Of hog cholera, cattle pneumo.
MIA, and Kansas grasshoppers. Con
gress, it seems, doesn't agree with
him. The crank can't help that.
He would il he could.
Another fact is that we have been
having pretty hard times. One mil.
lion men, they tell us, were a short
time ago out Of work in this coun-
try. Think of that! The crank saw
mills closing, factories shutting up,
merchants failing; but looked in
vain to Q the saloons shutting up.
The crank did some ciphering.
II the 10000 saloons average sales
Of $40 a day each, that makes about
S657 100000 for the year. A heap
of scads isn't it? That's what the
saloons get. What do they give?
The crank shut his eyes and
dreamed a dream.
He fancied he saw that SIX mil
lions going into shoe stores, grocer.
les, bakeries, dry goods stores, meat
shops, etc, instead Of into saloons,
When he saw that, he saw the shoe
factories opening and hanging on,
signs: "Men wanted Cotton and
wooden mills began to clatter like
mad. Farmers began to talk abou,
the boom in provisions and staples
The railroads began to call for more
cars and rails. Rolling mills began
to Jump to meet that call. Business
woke up all along the line.
At the end Of the year, when thu
S6(OOO0,OOO had all been spent, the
crank looked to see what had been
received in return. He saw stout