The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1886-07-27
MARK TwAIN,s SERIOUSNESS,
How Ills Rooul.mates Used to Poster the
IIumOrlst,

AaAAN
uow His Noonl.mates Used to Poster the
IIumOrIst,
San PrGactteo POI.
Mr.. Steve Gillis, printer and Journalist,
was the friend and roommate OF Mark
Twain in the old days when the latter
was a reporter on the Call. They had
likewise suffered and triumphod together
in the saGebrush, the dusty green foliage
Of which they frequently succeeded in
turning to a bright red. Mark was and 10
a very nervous man, Small annoyance
robbed his life OF sweetness and light.
Stephen had no nerves, and II gave him 3
maiign pleasure to experiment upon those
OF Mr.. Clemens, .
"steye,N cried Mark, In an agonized
voice, shaking his bedfellow out OF an
apparently profound aIumber,. do you
hear that mouse-thRt internal, guawjng
mouse? It's driving me Wild"
"Oh, hang the mouse" growled ellis,
turniRs over and snoring ostentatiously.
It,yasn't a mouse, but a little machine
which Stephen WAS privately working
with a string for the benevolent purposes
Of torturirg his friend. =,
Mark lay and writhed and Cursed and
pnashed bis teeth, He cried shoe and
beat upon the head'board. He got up
and threw things under tho bad, and
walked around the room, and wrung his
hands and molstened his profanity with
tears OF impotent evaporation. The
mouse still gnawed, and Twain put N his
clothes and went forth and paced the
streets till morning, leaving his tormentor
10 rsvel 10 bed.
"Hello, Sam, what have you been do.
ingP' asked ellis, another night, startled
out OF real sleep this time aud sitting up
in bad. And no wonder no was startled.
Mark, undressed, had just entered the
room. In his hand he h60 a Japanese
sword, as sharp as q razor, o priced git
from Bayard Taylor. This weapon was
dripping with blood. The clock struck
midnight.
"D-n him, he'll never crow again." ex.
ulted tho assassin but even as hu Crawled
into bed the offending rooster sent forth q
cocks .doodle.do that caused Mark 10 give
a howl OF foiled vengeance and bury his
head under the blankets. In the morning
It was discovered that his n furious
stroke in the chicken-house had bsreft
eight hens Of their heads, hut the rooster
had escaped. He'owed his life to the for.
tunate circumstance that he slept-or
rather croRed-at the end Of tho perch
iarthest FROM the door OF the coop:
"Stevel Steve, l say wake upl" came q
hoarse and furious whisper at 2 A. NJ.
MI. Gillis awoke aud beheld Mr., Glenn.
ems clad only in his shirt, standing by the
window. The night was cold and
MIR. Clemens was shivering violently. In
his shaking hand was a revolver.
"Steve," lie pleaded, "you're warm and
your nerve Is good. Get upand shoot this
cat for me. I've been out In the yard for
hour trying to get a bead on the brute,
and now that he's there on the fence |
can't kill him-oh, l know that l can't
kill him. Get up, Steve, do"
"Oh, let the cat alone"
"What? You won't get up2 Then,
Steve ellis, I'll shoot you. Pm shaky,
but l can DO that, il l can't hit a Catl"
Aud Mr.. ellis arose and slew the cat in
s%elE.deiense, and Mark Twain went out
and brought in a bottle and sat up till
sunrise to celebrate the execution.
Mark Twain and Dan DeQuille roomed
together In early ComstoCk days. One
morning Dan missed his boots, and after a
vain search he suspiCiously inquired OF
Mari, who was lying in bed lazily% smoking
q clay pipe: "Mark, | can't find my
boots. Do youknow anything about 'em2"
"Your boots2 ComplaCsntly replied
Mark. nWpll. yaR. [ threw them At that