Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-01-14
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT
A GOOD FISH STORY.

A GOOD FISH STORY.
Oa the boat coming down from the
Flats tho other evening was q younR
man and black bass. They were q
pair. That 10 the young man had In
some way accumulated the fish, which
vas dead. He WAS such q guilelesf-
looking yonng man that several par
ties thought 70 guy him and bis catch.
The hsh was hanging 70 . peg, and
whit pair Of small balances which
enable fisherman TO weigh his vic
Tins providing they don's 20 over
twenty pounds.
Catch It all alone?" asked one.
No reply.
Pull very hard?" asked q Soc
ond.
No reply.
Were you very much over three
days about tt?' Querled q third, and
30 1t went on for ten minutes, while
tho fisherm n bad nothing 10 say. At
length one Of the crowd remarked:
pound"
doubt It," replied another.
Say fisherman, what are the
1.-TWO pounds" was the solemn
answer.
Get outl''
The man pulled @ $40 bill from
his vest, and laid It on his knes and
said:
upr"
After some hesitation, n shake purse
OF $40 was raised, the tisn hung TO the
scales. and he showed an oun0e over.
The crowd kicked on the scales, and
the fab was weighed in the steamers
pantry. The, figures held coed, but he
was weighed over again when the boat
landed, and the money had 10 be passed
over.
"How did you do ii?" asked police
man when the crowd had dispersed.
| Simply poured seventeen ounces 0i
bird-shot down his threat" was the
reply; and he lot the tish's head drop
Ans the shot battered out on the wharf
like young hail storm.
THE MODERN HIRED MAN.
"Yee, ] come In after hired man."
said the old farmer an he slipped his
root beer on the market yesterday
"but I've got disguised and shan't Try
very hard TO find one"
men ?"
"Too high-toned and important.
Why, bad one last spring whv rlgyeI
up IN umbrella over the pillow, 90 as
not TO get tanned. and he refused 10
cat with the family because We stuck
our knives In our mouths At the end
OF week he quit, Said that labor
was ennobling and 30 forts but the
landscape In that vicinity offended his
TASTE"
"Yes."
"Wall, 1 took on another, and he
put on cuffs and polished his boots be.
lore going to work and be quit At the
end OF a fortnight, because We didn't
have pianner In the house. Why,
that chap never got mp sill seven
O'Clock and he insisted on going 70 the
village to get shaved and perfumed up
every other evening.
The third one quit me yesterlay.
He wanted stained glass In his bedroom
winder. He wanted me TO buy hun =
guitar. He wanted me 20 paint all the |
roofs red and put pea green on the corn
cribs. He suggested hog pom with
pArlor 70 It and he spent two days Of
my time trying TO arrange way for q
windmill to milk the COWS. found
him writing poetry In the corn field,
And because spoke up sharply he quit
the job. polished up his boots and sont
for ooupay 70 bring him to the CITY,"
WHATS BOSTON?
r. China Aster Mulvaney. chief Of |
the Salt Lake Oity police, was one very |
hot afternoon leisurely patroling his |
beat. when, on arriving In front OF the |
PALACE OF Mr.. DArious Brigham, Mayor I
OF the city, q window was thrown open |
and the very red head Of Mrs. McTossa
Brigham appeared and said
lis that yersilf. ChinDv An how
are yez this hot weather 2"
Me remains is in fair state ay
prist vation." answered Muivaney,
faintly and then added
An have yeE such thing ne a
about ytz?
'indsde an Oh have not, for it's about
'roze We arel"
.uk to drink
Whist. mol But me husbands cousin
Q shtoppin' wid us; she's q Princess
rom Boston, an crsyture that oowId
m chilly In her character that It is moy
'elief she's afther wearin' cake Of ole,
q her hustle"
tndadei An phwat's Boston,"
Ochl its q place somewhere's In |
ne North Pole where the folks 10 hay
mems an wurship beans, an instead ay |
ale blood in their veins they has dice !
Iater."
NOT FOND OF CHEESE.
Old Father Nosely Ia q Germ an
iethodist, who can't speak English
'ithout saving his words into lenRths
ut his mouth by means of q buck. ;
aw. During q revival meeting he
irokeda street Arab gently on the head o
heesus2"
NOT much" replied the hoy. 'T'm
mo OF cheeses, but IL you've got any
oIogns ssssldge, Old man, you might