davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
MICROSCOPE FRAUDS.
q Cute Trick by Which Even Intenigee1
People Are Taken In

| People Are Taken In.
Dr.. james, president of the St Louis
Society of Microscopes, thus explains
trick adopted by the vendors of cheap
| microscopes They use small particle
OF sour paste. pretending it is drop of
water and the objects shown are
anguilulae, or paste eels. The follow
| ing is the method of working the trick:
The vender has standing before him
on the stand with his instruments
glass of clear water. usually containing
bit of ice On a little bench under
the table, and concealed from public
view, there Is small box of sour paste,
plentifully supplied with anguilulse
When a customer steps up. tho
chances are a hundred to one. as every
microscopic knows, that his first ques-
ton viii be: docs this here show the
animaleules in waters' The ready an
swer is: Show emp Certainly. Fact
is. / don't dare TO look at the
water. | keep melted ice-water for nv
Use. That generally amt got many"
Has that water got any in II? con-
t!nues the 9ueerist. I'VE can see.
says the vender, and he picks up a clean
! -
prepares to put a drop on the front
lens. His hand. however. is shaky, and
the toothpick drops. falling generally
on the little shelf which projects slightly
from under the table. He picks it up
again. and under pretence Of wiping it
sticks It into the paste: gets a very
minute particle TO adhere. again touches
Il to the water. and Srnears the front of
the field or objective lens
The victim then looks. and IS amazed
and delighted. and Straightway invests
N 4 scope. paving from one 70 two dol
lars for what costs the vender less than
! fifteen cents (>1..5 per dozen).
This ingenious piece of rascality WAS
the invention OF 4 man who formerly
made his headquarters IN Pittsburgh,
Pa. and who for years has derived q
large revenue from this and similar
fakes got up for the use OF street
vendors. who either pay him royalty
on their use or buy outright the privi-
lege of using them. / was told BY three
different individuals that they paid this
man fifty dollars each for the secret of
this fake" but that, not being able
always 10 ind paste which contained
! eeis. they were also compelled 10 pur-
chase from hum ar large price some
starting" OF cultivating fluid. All
sour paste does not contain
the anguilulR; vinegar eels
are sometimes used. but only
when the cultivated paste eels can not
be got. as they are too large-one of
them frequently stretching entirely
across the fell of vision. The els
raised in paste without the use of this
fertilizing fluid are much larger than
those obtained hy It's aid
The number of educated people who
are caught by this trick is really aston
/ ishing 10 one who habituallv uses the
microscope. A street yender here tells
me that he has repeatedly sold scopes
TO physicians whom he had fooled into
believing that the instruments possessed
simplifying power sufficient 10 enable
them TO distinguish blood and pus cor
puscles, and even bacteria Scientific
american.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
A GREAT MANS TRIBUTES.

Few of the Thousands of Glowing
Words Which Have Been Offered to the
Memory of Samuel J. Tilden by Men OF
Both Political Parties.
MIR. Tilden. in my Judgment
was one OF the greatest men this coQn-
try has produced Governor Eli, Of
Nesc York.
Mr.. Tilden was the ables. DEM
ocratic statesman of his generation,
and the peer of tn e ablest Of any party.
philadelphia Times
He was a political philosopher.
besides being practical politician.
skilled in all the arts Of management
Boston Transcript.
The State Of New York has LOST
her most distinguished son and the
Nation one OF its wisest and most pa
iriotic counselors- sideHt Grocer
CLereJand
He was as brave. rs honest and
As patriotic, too. as he was wise. and the
record Of his long and laborious life will
shine with splendor as the years roll
on--IAt'sois STATE Register.
He was one of the very few men
Of either party or any time able to III
spire full confidence in his ability TO
grasp and thoroughly understand cues
tons OF public policy.-Chtcago Ihater
OCEAN.
Mr.. Tilden was a magnificent
type Of the best American statesman
ship. He W Is endowed with solid cru
dition- He had not only political sa-
gacity but political scholarship
iroit Ere PrssS,
As the great leader Of the Demo-
cratic party he viii never be forgotten,
and those who have enjoyed the honor
Ct his personal acquaintance will al
WAYS remember him with pride and
g-atification.-C15 re5aHG Leafer.
Let no American forget that the
United States owe the memory OF
Samuel j. Ii,Gen more than they do
any soldier who ever fought her bat
ties. for he prevented a conflict which
would have meant extermination.-
Detroit Free Press.
The intellectual gifts of Mr..
Tilden Were of the highest order; but
the most remarkable quality of his
mind. neHt 10 lis moral courage and
its fidelity TO principle, was the COM
prehen>ive nature of his Judgment He
saw the whole of q subiect--N J..
Sam
Mr.. Tilden was Justly and uni
verSally regarded as the foremost. the
wisest ana the ablest Democrat o. his
time. His name will take its place BE-
side those OF the distinguished dead
who stood intellectually as Sauls among
the people.-N. I. Morning journal.
He was leader who put his
party on the path to victory and his
country on the plane OF a nobler des-
tiny H was a patriot who turned
away the tides OF ciyil war. He was a
sage who let no consideration of am
biti0n move him in the still air OF de-
igltful studies. Brooklyn. Eagle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
Veteran VS.. Demagogue.

That the soldiers have no sympathy
with the demagogue swho seek to capt
ure the soldier vote by pushing ex-
travagant pension bills is demonstrated
by the action of the Grand Army of
the Republic at San Francisco recent
IL. The scheme for giving a pension
of eight dollars a month to every sur
viving soldier and sailor. whether he
is disabled or not, was brought forwa ard
BY representative from Massachusetts,.
where. oddly enough. it has its chief
strength. and after thorough discussion
it was rejected by vote of 327 to So,
or almost exactly four to one Such q
declaration ought not to be lost upon
the Blair school OF politicians. who
have been insulting the soldiers bs
proposing to treat them as mendicants
NJ 7. Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
PiTH AND POINT.

Reformation makes such slow prog
ress because each man tries to reform
his neighbor instead of himself
First Senator-Come, now. yoL
Invent opened your mouth Second
Seuator-Pardon me; / have CAPPED all
through your speech -BuT!iagtoa Free
Press
Almost anv body can take COM
pliment when it is thrown at him, but
not every body knows how to wear IT
after he gets it.-St Adams (Vt-) Mes
seager.
At this season of the year a man who
can't carry q hoe handle a hundred
yards can lug fishing rod twenty miles
The rod is so much lighter. You know
Merchant TrareRer.
doctor. said he, IS he entered the
office, Il don't know what the trouble
Is. but l can't sleep at night" What
is your business my friends" Tim
plumber, sir" Young man. you need
clergyman Ican't undertake to cu.e
your conscience '-C Chicago Tribune.
Fair Trayeler-"What does this
mean? The expressman saws he can't
find my trunk Here is the check for
IL Baggageman-..The trouble is.
ma am. that you changed cars too often
The check and part of the handle has
arrived. but the other pieces hayen't got
along vet Omaha World.
-..Rev. Mr. Unity was quite liberal.
but so ahsent-minded. They We're MAX
ing up whist party. when Miss Mabel
said TO him: Mr.. Unity. won't YOU
JOIN rs? Mr.. Dc Beans is going to take
a hand and be my partner" Mr. Unity
wakes up with a start, and breaks
everybody up by remarking: isn't
this rather sudden? Have You got a
icense?"
Fashionable ady-Don' you think.
doctor. that my husband ought to send
me TO some fashionable watering-place
for my health? Doctor-Why. madam,
YOU have pbenomenally robust ply
siQue. Fashionable LADY, knew there
was something the matter with me.
Where have l TO go TO get rid of it
Long Branch or Saratoga?-C Chicago
Tribune.
An exchange says it is just rs inn
portant for girl to make good bread as
to paint a picture. 1t may be; but a
girl can't throw soul" tone, tech
niQue, feeling. chiaro oscuro, and such
things into loaf of bread. The latter.
however. put In frame and hung
against the parlor wall. would no
doubt look quite as attractive and
artistic as the picture painted by the
girl. -NorviStogcn Herald,
What college do you intend sending
vour son to-" asked an Allegheny gen.
tleman of another this morning. Il
thought OF sending him TO Harvard
but now m thinking more favorably
of Columbia" Indeed; why have you
changed your opinion?" well. Column
bia outrowed Harvard at the recent
trial You see, / want my son to have
the best education the country affords "
-PrtSbargh Chronicle
A late Judge, whose personal ap-
pearance was rs unprepossessing as his
legal knowledge was profound and his
intellect keen. interrupted a female wit
mess: ..Humbugged you. my good wom-
an. What DO you mean by that?':
well. nv lord" replied the woman.
II don't know how to express it, but il
girl called your lordship q handsome
man she would be humbugging you. ~
\. L. Telegram.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
Believed in Fortifying.

A tramp entered a Washington saloon
the other day and blandly asked the bar
tender:
..Can You tell me, sir. if Congress has
passed the Fertilization bill?"
well, 'sposen it has or hasn'twhats
that got to do with you?"
.-Oh. nothing much, only feel goed
deal run down and would like TO foEtify
little thought mebbe. In case Con-
gress had made an appropriation, YOU
might fortify me about ten cents worm
and charge IL to the Government
Your forfy-rod viii fortify As well As
any thing else, so don't hand out the
best bottle.
The bartender was about to hand out
his best bung-starter when the tramp
made a hurried exit. Washington
Critic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
ca APTER III.

a great and sincere pity stirred the
neiChboThood with this second sad Wis
itation Of misfortune. which. after the
poor lady was buried very tenderly By
her husbands side. eliminated in the
problem OF the child, uncertain fate
VERY many were the hands reached
out 70 give Ungrud-ing Succor. but old
Nora Erie. assuming the prero-atiye
which her age and h0nOTab BE friend
ship seemed 10 warrant. decided
in favor OF her own melting
hear. and bore the lonely child. with
a curious mixture Of pride and pity. to
her little house among the meadows.
No frr~her JOY ever lit mp the lima
mentS Of Young mother than that
which beautitied the scanned and faded
face Of Grandam Eric. 81 she purred
and crooned above her hapless charge.
II were a. if the long years in one be-
ni-nant moment had turned back. and
laid her own dead tir>t-born in her lap
a dimpled child. All the maternal cur
rents Of her nature. long motiOnleSS
from disuSe. set suddenly forward and
sang along their channels With busy
JOY she made the little chamber ready
for their rosy guest: adjusting some
thing here. giving 2 dab there. smooth
ing this. tuckin- that. and 81 last we'll
nigh strengthening her bent figure in
destroying = spiders inimitablc net,
cast deity from the ceilings arch for
unsu>pectinC flies Out. too. from old
Jade CrizZled beard. for the gateway of
his speech was only visible 10 the eve Of
fancy. rumbled many = satisfactory
croak. As. in the Old time. and with
something like the happy whispering
in MS veins. he bowed again al the
good wjfe's knee and laid his gray
head there. 4 touching plaything for
the cooling child. So thronei. the
roguish Elf would twist his chubby
fingers in the thin silver fringe that
ringed the old mans head, and turn
his large eyes up with glee 70 catch
the smiling nod of the gray mother
face above him. Very self-reliant was
this young ScottiSh-Saxon product
from the first: though orphaned st
once and stripped of fortune and all
familiar sights save the two kind old
faces lowering about. he babbled on
uneonsciously. Only at long intervals
did his moling lips betray the hum
ger of his little heart, as sitting on the
threshold in the sun he looked out on
the following meadows and Gsped
the name of .Mammar' AT
such times old Jade would turn
away into the garden with his chin
against his breast and ply the hoe with
ineffective vigor. and Grandam Eric :
ample Bingham apron sought her
quickly filling eyes. Dear soft-hearted
old children! the summer had come
back in part, but dashed with clouds
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26
Sure Way to Get a Pass

Hilarious Passenger-rve got pass
over this road I can get one any day I
want II
President Of the Road (unrecognized)
Will you allow me to see it,
Certainly. Here it is
This is regular ticket You paid
for it
why, of course / did. You didn't
suppose / stole il, eh2 | buy one every
day. didn't say it was free pass
Philadelphia Call
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26

An Irishman guarreliug with an
Englishman. told him If he didn't hold
his tongue lie would break his impene-
trabIe head and let the brains out Of his
empty skun-N i. 1eie9rana
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26

A citizen of Bel Air, Nd. has q
horse that works with perfect cheer
fulness all day II the pillow. but as soon
IS the sun goes down no amount of
persuasion or punishment viii make
him take another step in the turrow.-
Baltimore Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-26

all parties, and do not hesitate to say thaf
in no part OF this broad land VIII he have
more enthusiastic following than in our
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
A Photographer in Asia Minor.

A writer in Aintab, Syria. who is TAX
ing views, writes The Photographic
Times that his pictures illustrate the ex-
cavations of an American expedition at
Asses in the classic Troad, an expedition
through Asia Minor and the recent
Wolfe expedition to Babylonia. These
journeys are long, and have to be made
on horseback. All luggage is carried
on horses and mules, hence the diff
Guilty of carrying glass plates is consid-
cradle and compels one to travel slowly.
The expense of carrying 400 glass plates
on a journey of three months is consid-
cradle, and the dangers to which these
are exposed keep one in constant state
of mental anxiety. Loads are frequently
upset, and this often happens in bad
places. Sometimes they are thrown with
violence and sent rolling down banks.
Good fortune has thus far attended him
in these respects, but he is convinced that
the glass plates must go for this kind of
work. The results of long expedition
may be destroyed in crossing any stream,
for eastern horses have a fondness for ly-
ing down in running water. In a coun-
try without bridges this is annoying
Boston Budget.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
The Great Age of Fishes.

Many statements have been made as to
the great age that fish may attain Some
persons think that there are carp at
Fontainebleau that date back to the time
of Francis l., but the majority is skep-
teal in regard to this, and for good
reasons. Professor Spencer F. Baird
thinks that we may allow an age of 200
years for certain carp. There is nothing,
says he, to prevent fish from living al
most indefinitely, since they have no
period of maturity, and grow every year
of their life. In Washington there are
goldfish that have belonged to the same
family for fifty years, and they appear
to be scarcely any larger than they were
when purchased. In the royal aquaria
at st. Petersburg, there are fish that are
really 140 years old. Some of these are
fully five times larger than they were
when introduced, while others have
gained but a fraction of an inch in
length. 1t appears that in China there
are sacred fish of still greater age.-Sci-
entific American.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
A Mistake in the Beef Tea.

A Meriden local physician prescribed
beef tea for convalscent patient, giving
directions for making the tea. The di-
rections were to inclose the finely
chopped meat in glass bottle, then
boil, by placing the whole in a pot of
of water. The directions were carried
out as far as the boiling the bottle of
meat in the pot of water was concerned
But instead of then mixing the finely
chopped and boiled meat with water
and giving it to the patient, as directed,
the lady gave the sick person the hot
water in which the bottle was boiled,
and the patient remarked that she
hadn't tasted anything so good in a
long time.-Hartford Courant.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04

Stephen Gerard, whose lump of gold
more than counterbalanced his own
weight, left the bulk of his $500, 600 es-
tate to charities in and around Philadel-
phia and for other good purposes. The
Astors gave to the Aston library 81 ,000,-
900; Johns Hopkins gave $4,000, 900 to
found great SCHOOL, Leland Stanford
$4,000, 900 for a similar purpose; Ezra
Cornell 81, 500, 900 to Cornell university;
Asa Packer S3,000,000 to Lehigh uni
versity; j. C. Green 81, 500, 900 to Prince
ton college; James Lick 81, 900, 600 in the
name of benevolence; and James H.
Roosevelt spent S1,000,000 in founding
Roosevelt hospital, in New York. The
Peabody fund, the Sister fund, and Peter
Cooper's gifts are well remembered
Chicago Tribune.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
Mount Vernon During the War.

During the war the Federal and Con-
federate troops were often encamped on
Mount Vernon, but there was an unwrit-
ten law that not a shot should be fired
on the place, not blow be struck, not
a prisoner be taken, scarcely an unbroth-
erly word be spoken. The ground
wherein they stood was thought to be
holy ground. Often groups of men in
blue and gray were seen together under
the trees of Mount Vernon, and even
civil war lowered its front before the
dead presence of that great man who
first welded together this mighty nation.
Cor. Chicago News.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
How to Become Educated.

A mans education must be mainly his
own work. He may be helped or he
may be embarrassed greatly by his envi-
ronment; but neither books, nor teach
ers, nor apparatus, nor other surround
ing conditions of any kind will be of any
avail, unless he himself furnish the ener-
giving spirit which shall put them to ac-
count. A mind is not nodded as an
earthen vessel is fashioned by the hand
of the potter. 1t moulds itself by virtue
of an inherent force which makes for
symmetry or deformity according to the
direction given it by consciousness and
will. Libraries, universities, museums
and foreign travel are powerful
auXiliaries to man who is de-
termined to be educated, but he will
find them of no avail if he makes them
anything more than secondary instru-
mentalities in the work. On the other
hand no lack of such advantages will
prevent man from securing valuable
education who is resolved to educate
himself.-F. A. P. Barnard in The
Forum.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04

The thing contemplated or done in
athe London season" may be termed
generically, in the language of the
press, fashionable arrangements. Any
one taking up The Morning Post on Mon
day can read a list of them for the ensu-
ing week. He will see that, if he
chooses, he can in the next day or two
attend BALLS" mission meetings."
small musics," "sales of dolls" prom
enade shows" receptions" scientific
lectures" Cricket Matches" "bazars,"
afternoons" concerts" charities"
shooting at clay or real pigeon, "dra-
matte matinees," polo" races" or
musical soirees in the East End" Some
of the arrangements" are private, and
can only be attended on invitations;
others are open to all. There is also the
third class, such as the bazaar or charit-
able concert, which is public on one side
and private on the other.
In order, therefore, to enjoy an unfet-
tered selection from the list before him,
the person above mentioned must be
what is called "in society" This status
can be attained by any man whatever
who possesses a suit of evening clothes
and fair amount of manners. Such a
one will have no difficulty in getting an
invitation to an ordinary dance in the
less fashionable circles. Once there, he
must get introduced to one or two of the
matrons present who stand highest on
the social ladder, and if possible, have
ugly daughters. He must dance, or pre-
tend to dance, assiduously with the chill
dren, and take the mothers themselves
to supper. If one of the latter gives a
dance herself, or is asked for mems
names by friend, the aspirant will not
be forgotten, and will get his name
down on list" He has then merely tc
continue this process as he rises in the
world, with proper devotion to cards
ETC., and in a couple of years no ball OIL
drum will be inaccessible to him.
Argonaut.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
A special Treatment for Tin,

A new metal, called by the inventor,
Albert Assman, of Railway, N. j., "as-
sayme," is produced by special treat
ment of tin. 1t has all the good quail
ties of the latter, can be pressed into any
shape, or cast into statuary, or used for
plateware of any description. A beauti-
full bronze color can be given to the
metal, or any shade from bronze to a
silver color; and as it does not in the
least corrode, it is especially valuable as
a silver solder. 1t melts at a tempera-
ture of 432 degrees, or Is degrees less
than tin.-Scientific Journal.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04
Nature Might Learn from Art.

1t has often been asserted that arts
best efforts merely initiate nature.
/ wish nature would take lesson from
art in the tooth business. The fellow
with false teeth is away ahead of the I'M
fortunate with natural set. The false
teeth man can leave his set like his watch
to be fixed and call for it the next day.
The man with the natural set has to be
right with them while the repairs are go
ing on and there is no spot on earth
where a man is SO conscious of being
right there as in a dentists chair.-De-
troit Free Press.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1886-06-04

A gentleman in this city told how he
saved boy who had broken through the
ice in the river. He was manfully hold
ing to the edge of the ice and making a
most pitiful sight. This gentleman was
so deeply affected that he determined
to risk his own life in a rescue. Lying
flat on the ice, he squirmed out as near
the hole as he could go and reached for
ward light stick, which he told the boy
to hold on to. Slowly working back
ward, he brought the little fellow up on
the strong ice and so TO land. Once
there, he told him to run home as fast
as he could. 1t was very cold, and the
boy was, of course, soaked. He de-
clined to go, saying he would only get
a licking when he arrived Nothing
would start him along, and he stayed
there shivering and whimpering, until
finally, in indignation, his rescuer
turned on him and said: well, l wish
/ had left you there to drown"
He was somewhat surprised to have
the little fellow answer: a wouldn't
have drowned. l was standing on the
bottom all the time. Hartford Courant