The Hope pioneer., 1886-09-10
ITtsE ExcHANaE FlEND.
A Crank Whose Sole BuAtness 1s ~
Make the Man Of the Shears

AZ Crank whose sole BuAiness Is ~ Il
Make the Man of the Shears
Weary OF Life. Ss sSs
No one except those who have work
ed more or less about q newspaper Il
Office, says Tie Cincinnati E,tqni,sss
can fully appreciate the exchange fiend.
He is to the exchange editor just
about what the spring poet is to the
managing editor or the man with . y
denial is to the city editor thing
short of . holy terror.
And you never know when he is COM
ing nor what shape he will assnme
when he does come. He is liable to
appear as perfect gentleman. and the
editors in the room will all smile at !
once and see which one can make the
most favorable impression, thinking hef
might be theatrical manager with hiss
pockets full Of passes, or press agent of /
a circus, when to the utter disgust Of
the poor devils present he will show
himself in his true colors by opening
his remarks with:
do you exchange with The Jinatoson
Cros0er7''
\ The exchange editor tumbles to the
racket, and pitches into his work with 1
unusual vim. but the other fellowsN
punch him and call his attention to the
request Of the stranger. Then he
looks up and says:
What can do for youp"
''Do you exchange with The JsnstosOn
Cros0era"
Eyes. You will find it in that pile.
Help yourself"
Thank you. used to reside in
Jimtown. Haven't heard from there
since left some three months ago. y 8
Quiet has been restored. The politi-
cal editor has his mind once more set
on big leader. and the dramatic critic !
proceeds to vehtilate his opinions on
paper. when the exchange fend opens
fire.
.'Why. here's The Albany Bladdert
I haven't seen it for years. Used to
live there. and was a regular subscriber
Wonder if Jim Scott is the editor yetp''
Don't know" snaps the .. 9. 4
Take it along.'' Sfs
"Thank you ever so much. Scott
was a red-hot writer. Got lcked a
number of times TO: things he wrote.
He could write better than most Of
them, but wasn't worth hell-room in a
fight. Well, bless me. if here amt
The Jackson Bugle! Thought it had
gone up the fue long ago. It's ten
years since I saw copy of it. Bill
Pullthrough edited it then. Why, he's
editor yet. See here"
"All right; take it along"
Don't you need it?'' s35
mo; / don't want it.''
'sThank you. I'm ever so much
obliged to you. 1t does one so much
good to come across these old friends
You never met Bill Pullthrough?"
':Not as know of.
well. you ought to know him, as he
is certainly character regular gem
ius. Always hard up and borrowing
from everybody. Struck me for a
dollar once. Well, blame me, if here
amt The Rosewood Rooster. Do YOU
exchange with itp''
Il am sorry to say we do"
1t used to be a great paper when
Joe Skies edited it. But after he sold
it it kind of ran down. Skies was as 4
good on the fight as he was at writing.
He came near killing man once VIII
called on him for retraction. On j,
he was going to kill me. Wonder how
1he Roastcr is making it now?'
Don't know. Take it along ARK
'Oh. thank you ever so much. But
you haven't read it yet. have youP'' #
':Never mind. Take any you want;
they are no use to me. Glad to get rid
of them"
"Thank you. will appreciate them
SO much, and SO will my wife, and my
daughter will just 60 wild over them.
She cuts out the poetry and pastes it
in scrap book. She's got two filled
already, and the third pretty near. She
can write poetry, too, and some of il
is real cute.''
Then, after selecting somc twenty OF
thirty of the leading exchanges, he
bows out with: s
''Woll, good day. I'm ever SO much
Obliged to you for these. If you dln't
mind l'll come up again and get The
Ter and 1he Roaster. You can just lay
them aside for me when you are through
with them, and I'll bo ever so much
obliged to you. Maybe, if / think 81 !:
!, IT. III bring along some of my daugh-
tiers poetry and get your opinion Of It:
you may want to print some Of il. 8
Good day. s7
Good day"
Then the political editor drops back
into his chair and says: '.H-ll!, The
dramatic man sticks the point of his
pen in his leg to see if he is still alive.
while the exchange :elitot clips out q
'two-columil article on "a Sure Cure ffor @ s
Cranks" and rehead-lines it ..Societv
Scandals, +" SO as to be sure that every.
body will read it.
Royal Wishes.
Apropos of the dinner at Hnrl;n,. !. 5si