Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-05-27
Mnmuruns department.

A BIG BAPTIZIN' BY MILITARY ORDER.
Gen. Stevenson relates the following Incl.
dent of the war. He said that in his com.
mand was a very devout and energetic chap
lain, exceedingly earnest in regard to the
spiritual welfare of the soldiers, especially
before going into battle.
"The preacher" said Gen. Stevenson.
'came down to where Billy Wilson's Zou'
ayes were encamped and had a talk with
Billy. He said that his efforts had been
wonderfully blessed that he had baptized
fifty men from one regiment, a hundred
from another, and so on, enumerating the
fruits of his religious labor, and he suggest
ed to Billy that as they were on the eve Of
q battle it would be we'll for him the chap
lain) to talk with Billy's men.
"Billy was very proud of his command
and he turned to the chaplain and said
THAT amt necessary I'll save you thai
trouble. Adjutant,' said he, calling an Off
Ger, you just 60 and make a detail OF 800
men, and take 'em down to the creek and
have 'em baptized. No blamed regiment
in this corps shall 60 ahead of Billy Wilson's
Zouaves.'
"And," continued the General, laughing
heartily at the Renaissance, "blamed if the
Adjutant didn't obey Billy's ORDERS"
SOLOMON IN TENNEssEE.-A certain JUS
tice of the peace, who lived in Tennessee,
was once trying a negro for stealing. Among
the defendants witnesses was a girl. II
was very evident that she was not telling
the truth.
The magistrate stopped her in the midst
of her testimony and said, "Do you know
whar you'll 60 if you swar a lie ?"
eyes, sir" she replied.
"Whar 2"
"I'll goter torment"
"Torment You'll goter Jail, en- from
thar you'll goter the plenipotentiary, that's
whar you'll 60"
During the rest of the trial she spoke the
truth. For the Jail had more terrrors for
her than torment"
H6F Two pretty quick-Witted minds came
in contact when the Rev. DR.. Vincent intro
duced at Chautauqua, a Chicago clergyman,
who was to lecture on "Fools." The pre-
liminaries are thus reported
eve are now to have a lecture on fools by
one'' IA very long pause and loud laughter
from the audience, when the president con-
cluded with the saving clause "of the
wisest men in the country"
The lecturer advanced to the desk, and
responded II am not half so big a fool as
DIR. Vincent"-(another very long pause,
and still more hearty laughter from the au'
dience) "would have you suppose -Phla'
delphia CuM.
THE ENTERPRISE HAD A GOOD START
In the speculative days following the wal
several Milwaukee capitalists organized q
railroad company, projected a line 22O miles
long and came to New York to secure CAPT
tai. A party to whom they were referred
listened to their project and asked:
"Have you secured the right of way yet
made a survey or estimated the cost?"
"No."
"Then you haven't any railroad?"
"Not any actual railroad, but we've beer
paying ourselves salaries for the last three
months, and that's a big start, you know
Val Street Ners.
AN AFFECTIONATE LAD.-"Gran'ma,'
said a boy of 9years, chow old are you"
"About S." said the grandmother.
"You'l die soon, won't, you grammar"
eyes, dear, 1 expect to-"
"And when I die, gran'ma, can l be
buried side of yCu?"
eyes, DEAR" said she, as her heart
warmed toward the little one, whom she
folded closer in her arms.
"Gran'ma," softly whispered the little
rogue, ''gimme ten Clinton (Aass.
Bug1e.
s6r Mrs. Observation-Disclosures Day is
nothing like it used to be. 1t is a rare thing
for a person to get more than one valentine
nowadays"
Mr.. DeBangs-"Oh! I don't know.
know a person who gets two or three hun
dred every Valentines Day."
"Some celebrated actress, I dare say"
"Not at all. It's a letter carrier. He gets
them from the post Office"
S6s@ Elbow are you getting on at school
my boy?"
"First-rate, sir; 1 am at the head Of my
class now"
"Yes; but your teacher said they were re-
pairing the school building, and that the
classes were all upside down."
ayes, sir; so they are. That's the reason
I am at the head."- Yonkers Statesman.
H6s-"It must be awful cold out in Dakota
Mrs. Dusenbury. I notice that a woman
had her teeth frozen during the late cold
snap"
"And you believe such stuff as that ?"
"Yes, my dear. Yours would have froz'
en- too, had you left them in a glass of water
over night, as she did,"
E~ When Brown opened the front dool
one morning and found a strange baby in 6
basket on the front steps, he picked up the
bundle and as he carried it to his wife he
was heard to remark: "Some men are
born babies, some achieve babies and some
have babies thrust upon them"
ses~ "Say, Pat, what made you 60 to work
for old Uncle Dan? He is the meanes
man in the country" "Mane, is it" said
Pat; "why sure he is the f%oinest, and aysi
est goin' master liver I had, bedad; he gives
a man fifteen hours to do a days work
wallpapers Bazaar.
Bds- ~"Strange," remarked Mrs. Brown, 81
have rung at Mrs. Smiths door three times
fhi, ypook ond didn't enccapd in RAISING any