News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-08-05

III w olly IL hdJpCIfCu Oh blAC
tennis ground. He was sitting by Mrs.
Smith; they were then alone, when sud-
denly he. put his arm around her.
Girls-Well, go on. What theni
What happened
Brother G.-Well, 1t was then it had
to be taken of.-LJe.
WOULDN'T WORK BOTH WAYS.
When the employees in an Indiana
furniture factory operated by German
struck for eight hours work day he
granted it, but when they wanted ten
hours pay for eight hours work he
called them up and said: "My fr'en's,
maype 1 do ash you like. I haf an or
der from Shegago for ten dozen shairs.
Vhill sheep him eight dozen und bill
him for ten. If he doan' kick on me it
shows me dot der rule works both vhays
und We vhas all right" 1t is needless
to add that the idea didn't work, and
that his men are receiving eight hours
pay VAL Street Nea0s.
FAITHFUL TO THE LAST.
A Boston Man, the product of Its in
tense culture, walked out of the CITY
OIlC udS dIld ptuSCO DG1OIO khI1CsbOAS
that was marked:
ONE
NJ
FROM
BOSTON.
He looked at the stone, turned his
head from side to side, and said; ''POOr
fellow! True to the lastl He did not
care to have his name put on the stone
enough to have it known that he was
from Boston Simply inscribe ever
me, he said, that one man from Boston
lies here"
EIGHT-HOUR FARM LAWS.
Young man in search of a place-Do
you need any hands, Mr.. Hayseed %
Farmer Hayseed-Ne 'em2 Ger
tainly I do. Pull off your coat and
pitch right in.
"How about the-er-eight-hour rule2
Do you believe in that2n
'That's the rule on this farm, young
man. You go to work at in the morn
ing and knock off at noon. Then you
go on again at o'clock and work till
8. Eight hours at time is enough for
me, I tell you. ."-Philadelphia Call.
TOO LAZY.
An Eastern drummer who was in
Knoxville listened to the complaints of
a mountaineer about hard times for ten
or fifteen minutes, and then observed,
''Why, man you ought to get rich ship
ping green corn to the Northern mar
kets." Eyes, | orter," was the reply.
"You have the land, Isuppose, and can
get the seed?n Eyes" ''Then why
don't you go into the speculation!"
s'No use, stranger" sadly replied the
native; ''the old woman is too darned
lazy to do the ploughing and planting"
Wall Street Ne,Os.
A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE.
When Dumley isn't behind on his
board bill he is apt to be outspoken to
an offensive degree.
'Do you know why, Mrs. Hendricks"
he said to his landlady recently, as he
laid soft boiled egg which he had just
opened as far out of his reach as posi-
bic, edo you know why you and this
egg are somewhat alike in one respectp
NWhy2" she asked with frigid inter
rogation.
because you have both seen better
days"
HE ENTERTAINED HIM.
Aurelia (anxiously)--Have you seen
George this evening He promised to
call.
Bagley-He did call. 1 entertained
him for an hour before you came down
stairs.
Aurelia-You entertained him, pa2
Bagley-Yes l gave him list of all
the new dresses and gewgaws you had
last year and the cost of each. | never
saw young man more interested, yet
he left very Observation-Disclosures
Call.
LITTLE LIE.
Illustrating the uncertainty as to what
Chicago might not attempt to accom-
plish, Prof. Fisk in his recent address
at the Boston minister's meeting, re-
ferred to an Irish physician who, max
ing a speech in the country when slight
Iv under the influence of evil spirits,
said: ''W have been lying all along
about the growth of Chicago, but Chi
cago has got ahead of our lying. Dos
ton CongregationaSist.
bOIShEhs
Customer lin BARRIERS chair-Were
you ever a butcher2
Barber-No, sir. But my fadder vas
a butcher by dot Washington market.
He was good butcher.
Customer-You have inherHcd his
talent. Only once over, please.
A DUTIFUL DAUGHTER.
The pretty maiden fell overheard and
her lover leaned over the side of the
boat as she rose to the surface and said:
"Give me your hand"
"Please ask papa" she said, as she
sank for the second time.-BOSton C0ur-
ier.
IN FRANCE.
Judge Ito prisoner Have you some
thing to add for your defense2
% Prisoner-"Yes, Judge, desire to
have the new law applied to me-"
Judge-'I don't understand you"
Prisoner-'T asked to be expelled
from the country. ] am an Orleans
prince.
Ten little fingers toying with mine
Bang went the powder and then there were
nine.
Nine little fingers fixing rockets straight
Zip kick backward, and then there were
eight.
Eight little fingers pointing up to heaven
Roman candle "busted" and then there were
seven.
Seven little fingers punk and powder mix
Punk was ignited, and then there were six.
Six little fingers for 'sisser" strive
One went off with it. aud then there were tive.
Five little fingers loading for a roar
Boom went the cannon, and then there were
four.
Four little fingers with pack made free
Crashl went cracker, and then there were
three.
Three little fingers found the fuse burned
blue
Bomb shell too previous, and then there were
two.
Two little fingers having lots Of fun
Pistol exploded, and then there was one.
One little finger fooling with gum
Didn't know it twas loaded, aud then there
was none.
Detroit Free Press.