davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
Useful Hints.

When a setting hen is too indisposed
to stay on the nest continuously, let her
rest alternate days and tic the rooster on
the nest while she's resting.
The SCOT can be thoroughly swept out
of a chimney by dropping goose in it at
the top. The goose, in vainly striving to
fly upward, thoroughly cleans the Chin
ney with its wings.
BY immersing the entire body in soft
tar before taking bee-trce, one can rem
der himself invulnerable to the assaults
of the bees.
You can smoke rabbit out of hol-
low by smoking cigarette close enough
to let the stencil enter the hole
The scent Of whisky on the breath
can be subducd by smcaring asafntida
on the moustachc
When your bcdfellow snores and re-
fuses to hush, trump up counterfeit
nightmare and straddlc his neck. II
this does mt stop him, kick him out of
bed in such way that his head will
strike the floor first The resulting ccre-
bral agitation will keep him awake for
the rest of the night and give you a
chance to dozc q little
If you make n habit Of keeping live
| mice in your pockets, your loose change
will be comparatively safe from your en-
terprising wife.
If you take q small step-laddcr with
you into the theatre it will be very ser
viccabIc when the stage is barricaded
] from view b. q big hat.
| Freckles can be removed from the face
/ with sand paper. Life.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
Making it Binding.

~ am lawyers daughter, you know,
George dear" she said, after George had
proposed and had been accepted, land
you wouldn't think it strange If were
to ask you to sign little paper to tho
effect that we are engaged, would souf'.
George was too happy to think any
thing strange just then, and he signed
the paper with trembling hand and
bursting heart.
Then she laid her ear against his mid
die vest button and they were very hap
py-
''Tell me, darling" said George after
long delicious silence, why did you
want me 10 sign that raper7 Do you not
repose implicit confidence in mi love for
You:'
''Ah yes" she sighed with infinite
content, indeed do, but Georc'. Gear.
have been fooled 20 many ,ii.as.. -
Life.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
Turkish Public AmuSements.

The public amusemcnts of the Turks
consist of msydm-oyoohoo, haru-g'e9z,1 and
the meddah Meydan-oyo is sort
of low burlcsque, acted by men only and
without a stage, the changing Of cos
tunes being effected behind a temporal
Ty screen. The kara-g'eoz is the Turk
ish ''Punch and judy" rendered in
shadows, a white sheet being stretched
across one Of the angles of the room di-
agonaly, forming the base of triangle,
behind which the performer takes his
stand, and by the force of strong light
casts the "shadows of coming events" on
the sheet, And the mcddah is the fa-
nous story-tcller of the East. The alb
sence of works of fiction, and the general
Ignorance of the people, who do not
even know how to read, make the narra-
tiyes Of the meddahs quite acceptable to
the public, who flock to hear them for
pastime, for the love of the marvellous is
too powerful in the warm and imagina-
tive nature of the p,otlc of that sunny
cline to remain without some develop
ment. Hence their popularity. Then,
again, these meddahs are not destitute of
dramatic power, enhancing their attcn-
tive audiences 10y the magnetism of high
ly wrought fiction, exaggerated descrlp-
| ton, and effective mimicry. Indeed,
some of them have acquired a renown for
their speciality. kiz-A Ahmed, or Lady
| Ahmed, is so named on account of his
successful ability in taking Off the la
dies, and Pidjemin is noted for the "pa-
thetic" They exercise certain coup de
theatre OF their own, and are by the cX-
cited fancics of the people invested with
a genii-like power, as they condensc into
q passing hour the scenes Of an eventful
life, or detail the entertainments Of fairy
dom. In fact, these meddahs occupy
the Oriental lecture field, and on fcstIye
occasions provide a most welcome part ol
the entertainment Their tales, general.
ly vulgar, to suit public taste, arc Otter
not devoid of some good moral, and
their comicaitias hold up some popular
vice to public dcrision. .-Hfrper'S Blzar.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07

When we say that something happened
from chance We really mean only that it
occurred without or in spite Of previous
planning by the men who wished to con-
troll events History knows of empires
which have been lost or saved ''by acci-
dent that is, as the result Of acts which
were not within the control of sovereigns
and generals.
One such case-the story is narrated
in the second part of the Grevilc Me-
moirs-was the victory, in lS45, Of the
English over the Sikhs Ferozeshah.
At critical point in the battle, the
governor general of India, Lord Hardinsc,
who commanded in person, thought the
battle was lost. Believing that his army
would be destroyed, and not expecting
to survive the defeat, he gave his watch
and some other things to one of his
officers, asking that they might be con-
veyed to his wife with the assurance that
his last thoughts were about her.
Just at this time, one Of Lord Hard
inge's staff, also in despair, having lost
his head, through nervousness or fear,
rode up to the commander of the Eng
lish Cavalry, and communicated an or
der which he declared he had received,
that the cavalry should retreat The
commander asked for written5ordcr; !;
the staff officer admitted he had none,
but spoke SO positively as to the instrnc-
ton which he was charged to deliver,
that the commander gave the order that
his men should retire.
The Sikhs, seeing the cavalry drawing
off, supposed the movement to be for the
| purpose of attacking them on their flank,
and cutting off their communications. 4
panic seized them and they began to re-
treat The English commander in chief
| noticed the disorder in the Sikh ranks,
and ordered charge along his whole
| line which resulted III the rout of the
enemy.
Thus victory which saved India tc
| England was due to a nervous officer
who invented an order he had never re-
ceivcd. If the British troops had beer
defeated, the whole of India would
| doubtless have risen to throw off the
yoke of those whom the Sikhs had beater
in battle. - Youths Companion.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
Going 10 Sea i'm q FIatb0at.

Recently the pilot at Eadsport on the
Mississippi river, noticed singular
looking craft, with two sails and a jib,
making its way down the jettics to sea,
but paid no particular attention to 1t.
There was a heavy SEA on at the time,
and when she Ia | got about five miles
out into the gulf the pilot boat Under
writer caught sight Of her, and, seeing
that she was in danger, went to her as
sistancc.
On reaching the strange craft it was
found that her rudder was broken and
she was unnlana-eablc-in fact, that she
was an old ld-fashioncd scow or tatboat,
with two short masts and jib. The
calking was coming out Of the seams,
she had no bulkhcads or strengthening
braces, or any similar device Of marine
architecture The only living things
aboard were one man, his wife, two chill
dren, and dog.
These adventures were all the xay
from some interior point in Arkansas, on
their way to Florida, witllou; knowledge
or even chart, chronomcter, or othc,
maritime appliances. There was nc
water aboard. and hut little provisions.
The captain Of this nondescript must
| have been reading some dime novel. and
probably thought he could Litch up al
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
An Ancient Chapter House Unea: ta@d.

4 missing chapter housc, which " "A
buried during the great fre .. Dublin n
the 18th century, has been discovered l,y
some worknaen who were excava,in. IN
deruea;h Christ chu ch cathedral II the
chapter house were beautifully carved
cfiigies, coins, tiles, and marvellous speci-
mems Of architecture. The discovery
was not desulgcd 10 the public until re-
Gently, and it has created quite sensa-
ton. The lord mayor, the clergy and
prominent officials and citizens have ina
spectsd the sxeava,sd articles,
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
Establit he'd Ia 1875
Forward.

Push on, brave heart, nor yet despair
Though dark and dreary seem the way,
Thy sun will shine from skies as fair
As ever graced the coming day.
And ever keep before thine eyes
The heroes Of the mighty past;
Think how they struggled for the prizo.
And thou shalt surely win at last.
Push on, rs som, brave swimmers DO,
over storm capped waves of life,
Strike out agniIfst the undcrtow,
And come off victor in the strife.
Push On, and Iyif lasting name
The nations Of the earth among,
Nor stoop TO lsc,as step II fame
Thy fellow mon who round you throng.
Push on, and w'ten thou gain the dav,
krnenii,cr tldsa brave words Of mine,
Bear up beneath each dar<cnel ray,
Thy sun i, waiting but to shine
With tenfold glory from above
That hour is darkest next the dawn.
Success is g .rtain. DO not fear.
But let the Watchward be-Push on.
-JncL Gnrdiner IN DrfroH Free Press
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
HUMOROUS

An ulster covers amultitudc of patches
The telephone operator has perpetual
holler day.
A young lady wrapped ur 10 herself is
a delicate parcel.
LEND me your cars" as the farmer
said to the corn stalk.
A policeman, like man climbing
ladder, goes the rounds.
Two heads arc better than one on a
freak in 4 dime museum.
The nick of tmc-The piece broken
out of the ancient crockcry.
When the heart is full the lips are ST.
lent; when the man is full it is different.
John Ruskin wants the sewing ma
chine to GO Let him put his feet on the
trcadle and work it, then.
The man who never gets mad is sup
posed to be a half brother to the woman
who never looks behind her.
A patent medicine advertisement says:
"The human body is much like a good
clock" This sounds reasonable. A good
many men spend large part of their
| time in striking.
care you pretty well acquainted with
your mother tongue, my hoy7' asked the
school teacher of the new scholar. "Ycs,
SIR" answered the lad timidly, "ma jaws
me good deal, sir"
One thousand dollars in gold weighs
forty pounds. 1t is the necessity Of carry
ing home from their offices the daily in
come of specie that makes so many news
paper men round shouldcred.
A small child being asked by Sunday
school teacher: "'What did the Israelites
do after they had crossed the Red SeaF'
answered: II don't know, ma'am, but
guess they dried themselves"
Literary man Qaughingly)-Yes,I Itook
to literature natAraly ! was vaccfnated
from quill, you know. Friend (grimly)
The world would have been the gamer
if you had been vaccinatcd from pick
or shovel
Sunday school scholar Ito .tcachcr)-
''Did you say that the hairs of my head
were all numbercda" Tcacher-''Yes,
my dear" Sunday school scholar
"Wcll, then, quilting out hair and pre-
senting iD, what's the number of this
one2"
GLOW do you do. Mary7 I've been
trying to catch up with you for half an
hour. | knew you jflst as soon as I set
eyes on that bonnet I've known it as
long as can remember" 1t Is such re-
marks as this that fill the female heart
with bitterness.
A Chicago boy of fourteen years re-
Gently ran away from home to become a
pirate king. He WAS captured by a
policeman and returned 10 his parents.
He didn't become that kind Of king,
but after 4 brief interview with his father
he was aching.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07

They had d good laugh about LAX
and the apples; and Liunet confessed
how dreadfully frightened she had ben.
And with reason" said Squire San-
ford. "Thcre was second or two
which we were in very serious danger.
'But you will forgive me about tn,
apples:" said Linnet, with pretty, coax
ing carnestncss.
"Oh, YES. | will forgive YOU about the
applcs!" Squire Sandford laughingly
returned
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
THE SQUIRE'S APPLES.

"Such pretty .apples!" cried Lnnct
Dcssoir, ecstatically. "With red checks
just as if a fairy pencil had painted them,
and delicious, bloomy strcaks here and
there! | should like to copy them on a
plaque or panel or something, if only
one could be sure Of reproducing those
delicate tints Of rose and white"
"WcI', | dccarcn' said Rose Hebron,
the country cousin, whom she was visit
in@, laughing with a merry, thrush-likc
laugh, a, the two girls sat on moss
enamrlcd boulder under the boughs of
the ly-aPpIc-trcc, with here and there
II yellow lea. tluttcring DREAMY down at
their fcnt "Who would dream Of such
4 pooticai' description applying to the ap-
pies tat grow in Squire Sandford's or
rhard '
"Wosn't it good Of him to allow us to
gather thomI" said Linnct, trimming the
side Iclilrts of Il lovely branch of yellow
goldcu-rod
~ .h,u 49,, 1o,;,,.o tho4 ,,o,. -,
s,,I,..,. .,.... ,n..,..h -, 1.a,,,r., n4.,
..n,,fI ! ... tb.,, - tI'o ol, ann,. hin -
home. "
.Ayn,. ,ot5,
un, s.n;r, ca1r;o :. oooan4r;o,, po.o
,,e,,.,..,.1 oan.1...,,.
..r.dr;c, I. tL,t bis no,,o2o
uycs 1.,,t' i an odd re,;c Of tbc
S,,o,, ,;,,os2 ~ Iau.,hol R,so
or. = vcrr ron,nti, ua,nc , romo.kod
Iiunrt wrinllin. her brows in n-ctt1
. - =,
an ;.,,,, ran,,n,i..r a,,sor,.o.1 Pos.
..Il'.s 80, ol1, Th,r,r ~ ,o,stm Rose
rc,,,,1cd with an rnnhatic nod Of the
nonl
uII,rr;1 o,,ro,,, coil 1;,n,t who xos
;uh....,,a.+.'.,nn ,.,n ..ra,,o p,..au
lo,,. .,,., r,,n,. r.na..h,n,,r,. as q can,,;
l,,,, c.u,or;n,,on,1.. !. .-,.5 bar,l,ro =,
sh. .l;n,,.I .nh,,1 with bcr rcr,ou
tr.....- o.,,t;,.,. .h.ni,1' I;lc .tr,v ,tr,nds
rfsnos,,r. and her white dress rms limo
over I'M. drifts of ncrf,mcd lrov,s III \,
.c,ru.tcI t,c n,tb
Fa,, fo,,onra with atrcctionatc eve.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07
The Wind Baby.
N summer the li,tlc wtnt: baby

m summer the lfttle vim. baby
Is pleasant as ever you please.
And then Is the time that we call him
A zephyr, and sometimes hreesa
In autumn he gifts a he rougher.
And blows the leaves hither and yon:
In winter he piles up the snow drifts,
And thinks il most capital fun
But March comes. and then the wind baby
Has no;hing-no leaves and no snow
D'you hear him scream down through tho
chimney.
"Come outl Oh, you darcn't. l know"
-louth's Comnrni0n
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1886-08-07

many years taeY since passed, the ankle
j. still omttricaEindicates an ap-
preaching storm and is exceedingly pain
ful at times in damp weather. r.-Neto
IurI. Tribune
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02
A New Industry.

AT fifty minutes past noon one day a
fortnight since / saw friend Of mine
walking slowly up and down in front
of the building in which his Office was
situated. He had discontented look
on his face.
Whats the matter ?" said. "On
strike 7"
"No; I'm tired; that's ALL"
"Why don't you 60 to your office
and sit down there ?"
Because our typewriter girl is at
the telephone. That's what makes
me tired"
"How is that ?"
"Why, aren't you OH to the telephone
Irritation business =? It's awful, my
boy, awful, what's worse, it's spread
ing every day. Cholera is nothing to
it."
Don't think understand you"
"Well, come up with me. You'll
understand it. She has about seven
minutes more. She won't mind u.s."
We went up and entered the Office.
A handsome young lady with fixed
sentimental smile on her face stood at
the telephone with the bugle at her
ear. She was listening SO intently
that she paid no attention to us-evi-
IDENTIFY did not know we came in.
ut affects 'em all that way" said
my companion in whisper. The
following conversation took place:
"And did you have good timei"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02
GAIL right. Goodbye, Cholly."

Gall right. Goodbye, Cholly."
The girl gave the requisite jingle
at the bell to let the Central Office
know she had finished talking; then
she went to another room, and as /
o'clock struck we heard the rat-tat-tat
of her typewriter.
My friend heaved deep sigh of
relief.
"That sort of thing goes on in
nearly every office in Detroit that has
telephone and girl. Who the fel-
lows are l have no idea. Guess they
are clerks and young jackanapes in
Offices. Almost every place has a
telephone and so they call up lawyers
offices, or insurance offices or any
place where girls are likely to be at
the time the proprietors are out and
that sort Of vapid nonsense goes over
the wires. If old Griggs tumbles OH
to it in this Office there'll be music.
The only pleasure l take in living
just now is the hope that Griggs will be
called up by 'Cholly.' If Griggs is
in his usual ill-humor 'Cholly' will
think he's struck by lightning"
INTENDED to interview the folks at
the Central Telephone Offices ON this
great and growing industry, but 1
forgot about the subject until met
my friend again, a week after our first
talk. % VI fsE
"Old Griggs got on to that telephone
racket" he said joyously.
"How did that happenl"
"Oh, the old man stayed some time
after IL on Tuesday. We,had rush
that day, and he didn't get of'as soon
as usual. There was a ring at the
phone and Griggs went to it.
"Is that you, Susiei came the
voice through the telephone. Has
that old bear of a Griggs gone YETI
Griggs put his hand over the speak-
ing partio of the phone SO that no sound
could get to Charlcygf
Susie, said Griggs, 'whe Is this
young man that wants to speak to
your rf
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02
81 don't know, said Susie unblush.

81 don't know said Susie unblush-
ingly.
"Well, just come here a moment.
Now say through the telephone
who are your Understand"
"'Yes, said Susie.
Griggs took his hand off the speak
ing tube, and Susie, who was wide
awake girl, cried, "cMr. Griggs wants
to know who you are
"Ifthe youth had had any sense he
would have taken the hint. But what
can you expect from a fellow who
flirts through telephone.
"Tell the bald-headed old idiot,
Susie, that it is Charlie Spry, Office of
Grab & Fleece, Griswold street.
4" Young man. cried Griggs in his
deepest voice, You are talking to the
old idiot now and not to Susie. The
old idiot Will take pains to see his
idiotic friend Grab, and the chances
are you'll be talking through another
telephone next week. hope Susie
will have sense enough to cut the tel
ephonic acquaintance of a young idiot
who hasn't the gumption to take hint
when he gets it,
"Now Griggs has the telephone
boxed up and he keeps it locked from
II to 1. Oh, no, he said nothing to
Susie. She works the typewriter yet
and will, / guess, but Cholly was
bounced. Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02
A Sensitive Lad.

"Mr.-aw-Looskins, your boy
seems to be--aw-troubled."
eyes, colonel, he is. You know
them horned frogsS" q n
"Yaas; beastly prickly reptiles"
"Well, Sammy had one Of them as
a pet and he lost it." Ne 'f
"Aw--indeed. The loss scenes to
have given him pain"
"Now you're talkin. That's just
what it did,"
"How did he--aw--lose it?"
"He swallowed it," i1r
cav r-Texas -Siftings. g
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02
"Yes, l will, see if | don't"

mo, | haven't seen him since last
Hello, Central We're not through
talking yet-What's that?-I haven't
been talking for an hour No; nor
pretty near it either-Well, you've no
business cutting in till we ring the
bell. Hello Cholly! Amt they horrid
at the Central office. That's the
fourth time"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

A silvery laugh was then laughed
by the typewriter girl. The laugh
was directed 50 that the hearer at the
other end of the line would get the
benefit of it,"
"Now, you're just too mean for any
thing. I'll tell her what you said"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02
That Voice From the Ground.

A man from Pittsburg, who said he
built the first shanty in Pithole City
during the oil excitement, called at the
Central Police office last evening.
He wanted to know if man named
Breyfogle, an old friend of his, was ON
the police force, and was disappointed
when negatively answered. "Pd give
So to see old 'Go-devil' again," said he.
"He and | used to drill and shoot oil
wells together. How did he get that
name? Well, you know when a well
is sunk dynamite cartridge is lowered
to the bottom and there exploded by
letting sharp spike fall on it from
above. The spike is called a go.devil,
because it descends so rapidly toward
the Internal regions and raises such
pandem'nium when it gets there.
We called Breyfogle 'Godevil, because
bad whisky was sending him down as
fast as he could go. I'm glad he re-
formed just when he did, and hope he
has let the old boy alone since. But
he was dare devil / never knew
Breyfogle to be frightened but once,
and till this day he thinks he has
talked with evil spirits.
eve had sunk well 450 feet deep
on the McCliman farm, not far from
Pithole. 1t was on the side of "a steep
hill, near an old orchard. Two own
ers of the well had not paid us any
thing in advance for the work, and
when at that depth our tools suddenly
drilled through eight feet of sand-we
thought it was sand, and that it was a
good sign of olive struck the owners
for money to continue the work, and
found they had no money, or had lost
what they did have. So one dark
night we pulled up the tools. Brey-
fogle stood near the we'll when the
drill was hauled out. AS soon as the
point was taken out he heard voice
say, 'HelloH 1t sounded from the
hole. Breyfogle looked at the two
men beside him. They looked inquir-
ing at him, and then all looked around
behind them. Nobody had spoken.
They were loading the last drill bar
on the wagon, when 'Hellop came
again from the well. The voice had
an unnaturally far-away sound, yet it
was distinct. What's that ? they all
said in breath. Breyfogle got down
to the hole and yelled: who the
deuce are you 2
"A Murderer chained fast and
burning up. 1t wasn't enough that
you hanged me-the DEVILS got me
forever, and he'll have you down too.
Then followed yells, curses, BIAS
phemy and howls from that hole in the
ground. Breyfogle had been drink
ing pretty hard for several weeks.
He heard what | have just told, then
jumped into the wagon with the ether
two, and the way they drove away
from that hill it was a caution. /
found afterwards that what we took |
for sand was the chamber in coal
bank. Two miners were at work in
it when the drill came down through.
They saw it pulled up that night,
and put up job on us.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

A couple of visitors from a rural
district in the House gallery were try
ing to pick out their Congressman on
the floor. II can't distinguish him" /"
said one after hopeless visual OBJ
servation. "Of course not" was the
honest reply; "ha can't distinguish
himself" Washington Critic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

A New York paper speaks of a
"colored burying ground" Most
burying grounds are green at this sea-
son, but the one referred to is proba-
bly, black berrying ground.-Bos-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

"Pap," said little Jacob, looking
up from his Sunday school paper,
"here is a piece that says Beer ver-
sus Whisky Shall | read itf'
"Trow dot paper in de schtove,
Shaky. Inny mans vot says beer is
worse as visky amt fit for holdings
except kindling vood."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

Because | know she wasn't"
"Never you mind | know all the
same."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

Talking about the jaws of death. "
exclaimed man who is living with
his third scolding wife, II tell you they
are nothing to the jaws of life. >
Ex
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

PAPER FoR EVERY DAY IN THE yEAR.
PRICE, $500 A YEAR, or 15 CENTS A WEEK.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-06-02

Dear lady, please help an unfor-
tunate man. | amt had no work at
my trade since last winter?" "Poor
man! what is your trader "Shevel-
in snow, num-" Life.