St. Paul daily globe., 1886-09-19

draws nigh, they must lose
as many games as possible and get as near the
end of the list as is consistent with poor ball
playing.
They seem to think, and right nobly do
they put their ideas into execution, that the
place of honor is the tail end of the list 1t
they only had time they would occupy that
position, but Minneapolis claimed it early in
season, and has so far refused TO surrender it.
Fortunately the cold weather is not far Off.
The ball playing days are numbered, and the
hired men, who masquerade as ball players,
will soon be out of employment.
So will the umpire. 1t is a good thing for
these unemployed men that Just as the season
of base ball closes. snow falls on the side
walks and gives the deserving chance to do
an honest days work.
If st. Paul ball players may not be able to
play base ball they can shovel snow as well as
any man who never heard of diamond field.
*.%
The head porter at the Hotel Lafayette at
Lake Minnetonka, so l am creditably in
formed, made snug little sum out of his
summers work, although he had the position
without salary from the company.
He not only was without salary himself,
assistants out of his own pocket, or rather
out of the fees and tips which he received
from the patrons of the hotel.
At the end of the season he cleared some
thing like 81 1000 after paying expenses.
~x*
''You will have to sign this document" said
the insurance adjuster, addressing the widow
of the policy-holder.
''Where?' asked the woman in black.
fright there replied the adjuster, point
ing to the spot where her signature was de-
sired, "and you will have to have your family
physician and friend of your husband sign
these aflidavits of hIs DEATH"
Have to go to all that trouble?" queried
she. 81 don't see why my poor dead husband
could not have arranged these details before
he died. In just such affairs widow misses
her husband terribly
~
IT know what will draw, winter or summer.
rain or shine," said a broken down actor, ad-
dressing a theatrical manager in search of
attractions.
Have you seen it, asked the man.
ager.
MANY times,'' replied the actor, land 1
never knew it to fail. 1t draws every time."
''What do you call it?''
"a good twenty-five cent cigar"
49,
''I'm thinking of starting new paper"
said Smith to Oldtimer. ''What would you
advise me to get first?"
"You have money, l suppose" remarked
Oldtimer.
YES" replied Smith, 'You know my
father left me fair amount of money. L
suppose had better get the type and print
ing presses, had l not?''
''They will come later" replied Oldtimer.
s'The first thing to get is reckless man,
fellow who has no fear of the hereafter"
s'What in the world shall do with him?'
LET him swear to the actual circulation of
the paper"
x#*
sHallool JONES'" said Brown, ''where are
you going?'
"Out hunting"
''What kind of gamer?
"Ducks-and, by the way, Brown, if you
should see any at the market, 1 wish you
would buy them and have them sent around
to my house. Hunting is a very uncertain
thing. Ny wife is very anxious to have some
ducks"
-
81 am on the lookout for striker, eX-
claimed politician.
Nothing easier to find" remarked COM
panion. sHow would base ball batter dor"
HE would not answer at ALL
swell, if you go down to Chicago you can
find one, as men are still on strike there"
.sHe will not answer. either. 1 want mu-
steal striker"
.'what do you want him to do?''
sI want him to strike the keynote in the
political campaign"
*xx
A Republican, and a Gilman Repub-
lican, was talking to me yester-
day about the coming Republicn
state convention. OF course, he was
singing the praises of his chief and making
numerous assertions to the effect that Gilman
was sure to be nominated.
"Now, said he, "Gilman, giving the other can
didates all the doubtful counties, will go into
the convention with 137deegates, or something
like iorty-two less than a majority, McGill
will have over hundred and Gibbs may pull
sixty or seventy"
1 asked where Gilman expected to get the
additional forty odd votes to make a major
ity when he replied in very knowing way
that 'Gibbs stood no show of getting the first
place.
From this it is easily inferred that there is
an understanding between Gilman and G bbs,
and as result the former will get the Gibbs
votes, and In return therefor Gibbs will be