Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-24
BRIGHT BITS,

AN amphibian Is an animal that lives ON
land and water. The Socialist is not an am
phDian. because he lives ON land and beer
Puck.
LADY ito servant whom she is about to en-
gagel-These are my conditions; do they suit
youf
servaut-H'm! III see. l always take ladies
on trial.-FTench Joke.
A LITTLE girl lately wrote to her friend:
Yesterday little baby sister arrived, and
papa s on journey. 1t was but piece of
luck that mamma was at home to take care OF
it, PhtLddstphiG CdU.
DOUBTFUL looking guest-"Landlord. have
you fire escape IN this hotel"
Experienced landlord-"Ies, sir; but we
generally keep the bull dog chained at the
bottom of II. "-MerchGnt Trd0eller.
lis he a man of much calibre?" said a Com
nectcut avenue girl to a Dupont circle belle
about certain gay and giddy Congressman
"On. yes" was the confident reply, hes the
greatest bore ever saw. - Washington Critic
As Senator Ingalls, passed along The line of
the reception at the White House, hopping
his forehead on which the heated atmosphere
mad drawn out great beads OF sweat, he
stopped before Mrs. Cleveland with this re-
mark: 81 am glad, indeed, to have the
pleasure of meeting you but must say that
YOU Democrats are making 1t very hot for us
| Republicans to -night." As quick as a flash
came this retort: fi'Would you have us treat
you coolly, sir?"-Ne,o York Tribune.
| BOOMING up the business Interests Houston
| amt Galveston are commercial rivals. hence a
| resident of either city may commit any crime
| with mpunity as long as he does it with the
| intention of advancing the interests of the
place.
Recorder-"You have been drunk again.
| What's your excuse now?''
Your honor, was only celebrating the
| great natal day of American independence y
Yes, but Yesterday was not the 18th, not
| the Fourth"
II know it, but | did not have capltal
enough on the Fourth to celebrate the day in
a manner worthy of the great city of Calves
! ton, the queen city of the gulf. the gem OF the
| sea, the-the-great cotton mart of The south
| 30 got tight Yesterday Instead"
| Recorder whose local pride is touched
the ease Is dismissed We must do what little
we can 10 heip boom up the business interests
| OF our great CITY, compared with which Hous-
| ton il aimere hamlet. n-Ttsos S{t15ngs.
A YOUNG LADY who calls herself "Mlni-
| cent writes us letter in1uiring the meaning
| OF the word opus" She has been attend nr
/ the Thomas concerts, and she is much puzzled
| by the frequent occurrence of the words
! opus and opera" in the programmes We
| have questioned Mr.. Thomas on this suhject
| ana nave received very satisfactory eNpln-
nation. "Opus" isa Latin word, meaning A
! work. and opera" is the plural of ''opus. ]"
| and therefore means works. We asked AR
| Thomas If there were no such thipcs as
| "opuses," and he said that he believed there
/ were, but, as for himself he had never had to
| deal with them. subsequently, we learned
| mat 'opuses" was purely Chicago word
coined by Chicago composers who believed il
! to be the plural Of opus" and VINO applied il
| to their own compositions. BY this we are led
| to believe that, while Beethoven, Bach Han
| del, Haydn, and those other drcary humorIsts
! of medITval times may have written onara
! and probably did so, it takes 4 Chicago com
/ poser to give birth to genuine, reliable and
| unmlstakable opuses. -Chicd0, Ne1ns