The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-06-18
VIRGINS VS.. LAZURUS.
A Suit Brought to Recover One
Spotted Heifer.

Brer Sam Lazarus was the pastor OF
Che African Methodist Episcopal church
at Gopher Slope, faithful shepherd to
the sheep of his pasturage, veritable
Lion of the tribe of Judea to the black
denizens of the fold. Tall and portly,
black and oily, unctious and well versed
in Scripture, of the church militant, too.
he was power in the community. He
was about fifty years old, his kinky
whiskers just turning gray. His resi-
dence was a comfortable frame house
of SIX rooms, well furnished, located in
the center of a ten-acre tract, conven-
lent to the lambs of the flock. His
family consisted of his wife and one
daughter, also yellow dog noted for
his keen perception in running down
predatory chickens. This daughter,
Leah by name. was about twenty-one
years old, of full figure, bright, shining
complexion, and good solid posterial
feet. Her lips were like two well-de-
veloped mulberries, her eyes large and
jolly, one of them very badly crossed.
This, however, was a positive advantage
to her, as she was thus enabled to see
what all the young ladies behind her
had on without even turning her head.
Brer Lazarus was a man of parts.
He had loud voice and a copious flow
of language. He was equally at home
in the cardboard house where the fried
chicken and white bread fiourished and
in the humble log cabin, sanctified by
the plebian corn bread and the awe-in-
spring catfish. He treated all openly
alike, although inwardiy he looked
after the main chance. This made him
a power, politically, and his judicious
manipulation of his people at election
times had enabled him to lay by con-
siderable of the coin of the realm. Ca
ring no more for dollar than most men
do for house and lot, his pet idea was
that his daughter should marry wealth,
and for that reason he allowed exag-
gerated ideas of his own financial con-
tition to become current, hoping there
by to ensnare the fly that walketh at
midday. His schooling had been very
limited, but retentive memory enabled
him to obtain the reputation of a pro-
found Biblical scholar. All lack of edu-
cation was made up by an inordinate
self-conceit, a gall that would have
made a map peddler turn green with
envy. The apple of his eye was Miss
Leah. and in her many accomplishments
he took the greatest plide. He had
brought her up in the strictest Method
list faith, and looked forward to uniting
her in marriage to one who should be
well endowed with worldly goods. To
this point all his ambition was bent.
How well he succeeded my story will
tell. Brer Lazarus wife was a mud
colored nonentity. She was a good
cook and housekeeper, but with no self
assertion. In this she differed from the
majority of her people. She, too, had
but one leading idea; the future welfare
of her daughter. Miss Leah was the
belle of the neighborhood. Not from
any undue supply of natural charms,
physical or mental, but simply from the
fact that she was the daughter of her
father, and that father was not only
swell fixed" but the leading man in
the community.
About half a mile from the parsonage
was the snug, well-kept farm of Juniper
Virgins. handsome young bachelor
of thirty, commonly called June. June
was a thick-set, plain, unpretending
plodder, black but steady. He had a
pair of fine mules of strong alto voices,
. nice horse and comfortable buggy. a
bunch of cattle, numerous poultry, two
big yeller dogs, and every year his crop
was "a right smart crop, thank We. y
This was the lover that Brer Lazarus
had fixed upon for Leah, although fol
the present he was too cunning to be.
tray himself to either. Five miles of
was the residence of Rev. Peter Owens,
pastor of the Highwater Baptist church
of Corn Hollow. With him, at present
residing, recuperating from a severe at
tack of dingal fever, complicated with
the jim-jams, was Ferdinand Aristocrai
BeHases, his nephew, aforetime head
waiter at one of the Jacksonville hotels
Ferdinand was a dandy from Dandy.
vile; tall, slender and yellow, with
black curly hair and mustache, always
well dressed, and with a knowledge o,
the world that made him very captivat.
ing to the fair sex. Now we have the
dramatis personae, roll up the curtain
and let the play proceed.
The course of true love ran very
smoothly for awhile in this case, though
with some coyness on the part of Miss
Leah, and some audacity on the part OF
Mr.. Juniper. With the perversity OF
her sex Leah refused to set the day. She
accepted the many attentions of hel
lover, his gifts of sugar-cane and pin
ders. rode with him in his buggy, sal
beside him in the church and allowed
him to be her escort everywhere. Fur
Their than this she would not 20, nor
would she allow him to breach the sub
ject to her respected parent lime,
that bald-headed old gentlemen with
an impossible scyfnc on his shoulder,
at last wore out all patience. At any
rate he did with JUNE, and that worthy
determined to bring matters to focus.
He determined to have an interview
with Brer Lazarus. Accident favored
him.
1t was a bright, beautiful day in early
June. The little birds sang as if it were
the one day of all the year. The feas
kicked up their heels in delight. and
then lay behind grains of sand in wait
for bare-legged urchins. The hum Of
the mosquito answered the low thrilled
whistle of the partridge. There was q
scent of roses in the air, and from the
tops of tall trees swayed scarlet caronals
of flowers. June, however, was moi
full of the beauty of the morning. but d