New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-10-10

,,oro orc some Of them that your understanding
ord vour memory seize with n strange speed
Won are fun of gifts. The ills and hurts that
hosot most lads have never touched YOU at all
,,po,v vour cnleer ut school-you have told me
what II has been Everybody succumis to you
as do. MS Ioor Michael ard Martha do III oitch
seems 70 me rs il you were born to be INDUCED.
Rut Ohio YOU silently accept too much ana give
Zoo ,ttlc in return. BE careful, my son-bc care
ful, You do not love rs you are loved ha'c
to srcalS of this to YOU now, because you are
stIl 81 Young But some day you VIII love
Some day Won will give a great love and want 1t
,c,aid in fun. and question yourself constantly
nc &, whether il il rcIad in full. And II 1t Is
NOT ny bov-or if YOU should think it is not.
then
Nv mothers voice falcicd here. | threw my
arms about her neck AMI pressed my liIs to hers
ooh mamma I said. "why do you worry your
self with thoughts like these? II must come OF
vour making those sad, white shrouds-ce mcnT
1nfbre, | shall never love as you say. shall
never love any one as love YOU Ana II should
ever marry, YOU will see my wife ana judge OF
This. for YOU will live many, many ycais-you are
still SO young :.
"Manv. many Yeas ?" she repeated in a
strangely musing tone.
"Ycs-surcly yes. Why notP And YOU must
not saw that | give no love back, mamma. 1t
is cruel!
"You do not give the love that is given you,
Ohio"
"You judge me unfairly, mamma
"No. l know you so well.
"Do YOU think | do not care for you as you
care for me? E" 1 kissed her MS l spoke.
With her lips close To mine she answered: NO
I must say it. My heart tells me-my mothers
Of In
Won sometimes embrace me and carcSs me like
this there is a GOODNESS can not explain
but il is there. Oh Ohio 1t is there =
Her last word ended in n kind of sob. She
had not cIasred me with her arms till then. but
then she did so. tightly and abruptly.
forced myself from their hold, however. She
had anccred me- and perhaps a pang OF CON
science fed this new mood. Between compunc-
tion and acclsative wrath the gulf is seldom a
broad one.
81 sect came my bitter cry. YOU wish to
saw that I have no power TO love except as he
NV father loved You wish TO warn me against
n fault which you have no right to dread because
YOU have never yet had reason to charge me WIN
il, Is this fair? Is it not unn crciful?"
"Otho! What are you saying ?"
But my words sped on. you tell me that
YOU have loved me so well Admit that you
havcl But is your love for me now at tins mo-
mcnt. what it is for the man-my father, if you
plcase-the nan who wished to kill you?'
"Otho. Do not speak like that
caught her unwilling hand. Answer my
Question: | demanded, with kndlng eyes.
(Which of us do you love the better at tins mo-
mcnt? OF which do you think the more? Who
holds your heart the more? Who Ills your
thought the more? p
Nv srccch must now have been fierce. But
she felt the poqnancc of its appeal She lcrreiVcu
how il cutchcd the bare fact, ana presented lhls'
and demanded clear RESPONSE. IL, 1000
She Withdrew her hand from nine WIN force
and then waved both hands conlusedy pcioe
Answer me | exclaimed "You do love him
more than YOU love me. 1t is true Answer
me If YOU do not, | shall know That inns man
from whom YOU forced to hlde' whose very
existence is a threat TO YOU. holds more oil your
heart than | can ever gam ~.
| stood near her, with burning look, win
Qui5 ciinE nOstrls. with sudden uicduluI ld-c
I5lcling and thrilling ne
She lifted Ter eyes to my face. She spang 10
ler feet an instant afterNald Her cAmcssl n
was one Of terror , ana IA acne ,,c rour father
in uou no,o His curse has doscoHdcd up0n 8Qn "
Tier were so sili and ken that hat They
HIGH alarm But before Martha entered, my
mother had sank back into her chair. ialntlnS
Nv rae shall say my S asm OF hot Jealousy =
had died AS | saw the pa,lor and the backward
staeger that told what il had wrought L.
myself. unncrycd and trembling. let Martina 90
what she could toward rs'iscilalion But when
those dark. eloquent eyes met NINE once more
| felt that il / should gIOvcl at my mothers lcct
for rardon She would be Justified III WITHHOLD
ng it, ,;,.o
And vet how readily she gave II! y pltNr
hcs.dacl G succeeded her partial swoOn. ana wi"n
| left her bed chamber il was Ion" asst midnight
But for three or four honS lay slcepcsS dumhly
Mortified AT the passionate outpulsI OF winch l
had been guilty.
What did it mean Did it mean that NY
father he'd indeed STAMPED me with the woiul
brand Of his own ma lncSs This WAS the second
time within my experience that su, h Il paiOANSm
had caught me like Il whir Wind. Was my VIII
strong enough TO stand guard against any third
assault?
My will was certainly strong. and / vowed
that NIGHT IA most solemn and meaning vow to
crush down and control a passion wllrh must
need stOutcr bends every time that let II slip
leash. A belief in the rover and pcrmancnce oi
NV resolution brought with II more lhcld
! mood But not alone through the next day did a
dun. sluggish trouble brood III my breast; Tor
| many DAYS aftcrWard | seemed to see the glad
spring sun through duslly mist. | had realized
that though | fought against these suEcs OF Wild
feeling never so stlcnuousN, the source whence
they rose like sta, nant and nO>One POOL must
hide itself in my nature. That source was cal
oIisv And strangely enough, when ] now SOUGHT
To analyze the only JEALOUSY my HE had thus
far known | found myself lUstifying aud cXcus-
Ing it My mind would hurry along III lmIci'ious
and fcrvid argument Was il fair. would ask
4 myself That ! SlIDulN ne Iclu III lily ulptWI dHcC-
tion lower than hc was held who had wrecked her
! life ? Ought ] not To cNiect, to demand. Il ore
than she gave my father? Was IL not injustice,
insult that size should accord me an inferior
place? Had | not been right in rescntlns what
was truly a goad for revolt? Would not many
another have felt my modification, my grief
But the fallacv OF this reasoning might easily
| have struck me- and nothing cNccit the bl@otty
and cgotism OF my own master iaut now OBJ
scurcd it, For if some strange current of attlao
ton still turned my mothers poor mistlscd heart
toward him whom ii would have been far better
TO lOathe she had none the less restrained all
active Indulgence Of desire, bravely AMI firmly
| True she had done So on my fathers account
/ but il had been also on my account Her patient
! sacrifice should have shan cd my scShncSs
Ii was not long before | told her of my stancl
determination. and bcsoueht her pardon for what
hal passed 1t was given with close. caecI
! embrace hut knew that henreforth fresh dread
IL will show you, mamma I said. that