St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-07-18

N. L EllZdpGlH diiu myself lttu utFtI
been intimately acquainted with each other,
but she had often heard of my high fore
| head and wrote to me in familiar sort of
way. asking me to advise her about taking
| the editorship of Literary Life monthly
| eXaggeration published Oh the northern
coast of Illinois at point called Chicago.
My heart palptated with q big. square palp
when l heard that Eliza was going into the
| editorial traffic. Of course she was no rela-
tive of mine, but as we were both single
and good looking / didn't know but we
might be some day, and took
| more than a passing interest in her.
My first impulse was to turn my cuffs and
20 down and have chat with her, but l re-
membered that the railroads weren't cutting
rates east of Chicago, and not being familiar
with the complexion Of the country roads in
her part of the American continent, l con-
| Guided to save my shoes for the benefit OF
my creditors and forward her a few wadS
of my opinion by the fast mail. [ always
had more or less respect for Rose. for she
seems to be disposed to pay her own board,
and never showed any disposition to ride a
bicycle or play poker; and besides she has
always refrained from curtailing her front
hair and wears shoes with low heels, that
gives her tall, proud, O'Leary bearing, as
she takes her morning walk around the
block, unasssted by a light, drab poodle
moored to her with cerulean rib
bon of the groS grain variety.
If there is anything that causes me to pout
| it is to see woman make a dog cart of
herself. Said Rose to me i'll her letter:
Chicago seems to me to have high deS-
tiny as the Western metropolis of art" On
this particular point [ think she is some
what off her pedestal, and l surmise she
will change her mind after she has ridden
mile or SO in a Chicago street car some JAN
uary night and finds when she gets out that
an inch and half of her nose has CONCEALED
and that her throat is out of order in conse-
Quence of frost in the valves of her cpl
| glotis One OF two experiences of this kind,
l fear, will knock out Rosy's idea that CHI
cago is great, large, glass-mounted hot
| house of art. She also refers TO Chicago as
THE VENICE OF THE WEST.
She may be perpendicular on that point.
but it is my advice to Miss Rose Elizabeth
Cleveland not to go monkeying carelessly
around in the Chicago river with bleak and
barren feet, for she will run material
amount of risk of getting tangled up in mu-
| tilated fruit cans and other relics of Vene
tian bric-a- brac that have been consigned to
a watery grave.
l wouldn't advise any female to go to
| Chicago unless she was so aged that she
had to travel via crutcheS and was absent
minded in both eyes, for it's undoubtedly
the freshest town this side OF Dante'S win
ter resort. A woman of Roses pea-green
experience wouldn't stand knee-high with
the other editors in the town when it comes
to the question of calcimining the munich
pality between the hours of l and o'clock
a. m. A person, to cut much of a Swath
with the editors of Chicago, must be about
six feet between joints and built in such a
way that they can shed water. Pm afraid
that in this respect Miss Cleveland would
be found wanting, for from portraits of her
that have been telegraphed me from time 10
time, have discovered that she is built
after the gothic style of architecture and
has roof that is decidedly mansard in its
tendencies. The two qualifications neces-
sary to becoming successful editor in Chi
cagO is the ability to spell God with a lower
case g without generalization, and to swear
! two sticks of nonpareil whenever 'VoX
POpuli" sends in a communication, boring
full Of inch and a quarter holes the man
who umpired the base ball game that he
lost his money on. With these facts staring
her in the face with blank stare, / trust
that Miss Elizabeth will allow my advice to
sift through her cerebellum with a long, con-
vincing Sift.
Miss Rose could never get license to
prance around in the perfumed social cir
Giles of Chicago because the shoe that she
wears don't reach out far enough into the
cOld cruel world.
MISS CLEvELAND's FOOT,
as near as [ can ascertain by telephone, is
very concise and comprehensive piece of
~ ", art, and it is given lout
ySS@Si cold that corn salve was
y }CSssg : never known to be hanging
Ok Ea1Nl around the interior of her
- S}I boudoir. The instep arches
1ltlll 49, beautifully, the length is