The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-07-22
A DAKOTA LIAR.
He Tells a Few StrOrIcs About the Am.
bilious Territory.

He Tells a Few strOrics About the Am.
bilious Territory.
In the east thousands of people plant
and SOW 'in the moon" to insure rapid
growth, but in Dakota it is dangerous
to plant in the prolific phase of the
moon, so they are careful to plant at
such time that the moon will exert its
influence in holding the crop back. l
have known several disasters to result
from neglect of this precaution. One
day last January got lost out in the
country, and while was toiling through
the tall, new grass l saw a man with
nothing on but his suspenders tearing
along like mad. He stopped just long
enough to tell rue what was up, and off
he went again for the Iowa side of the
Sioux river, which he cleared at a
bound, and fell on all fours into a snow
drift four feet deep. He said he and
his wife had looked up the moon busi-
ness, and had planted their garden the
evening before. but happened to get
hold of last years almanac, and missed
it about four days. The result was
that when he woke up that morning
the beets that he planted forty feet
from the house had crushed i'll his eel
lar walls, and a squash vine had taken
the door off its hinges and was just
mopping the floor with all there was
left of his hired man, whom it had
snatched out of bed in the attic He
didn't know where his wife was, but he
saw some shreds of nightgown and
several agate buttons in the front yard
as he fled He said there were pea
vines after him, with pods on 'em large
enough for phantom boats; and one
could see by the way he was dressed
that if he was q liar at all he was not
regular Dakota thoroughbred sample.
If really thought l would ever be-
come an average Dakota liar would
want to die. This territory must be
divided sometime before the day of
Judgment, for how could the Almighty
ever audit its accounts with only one
set of clerical angels at work at time?
About two weeks ago l saw farmer
out behind Il straw-stack gathering in
to a heap q lot of old bones and pieces
of hides, and sprinkling salt on them.
Yesterday saw this same man selling
a fine pair of steers to u butcher up
town. They were so fat and had filled
up so fast that he had picccd out their
hides with IN old buffalo robe. This gran
ger was a Sunday-school superinten-
dent before he came to Dakota, but he
swore that these were the same cattle l
had seen him kicking together behind
the straw-stack. He SAID all that they
had eaten was some wild grass that
had sprung up in his door-yard, where
the women folks had thrown out
a few tubs of warm soap-suds on wash
days. He said that he had learned that
the best way to winter stock in Dakota
was to knock them all to pieces in the
fall and set them up again as wanted,
otherwise, unless wo get a blizzard ev-
cry week, they were liable to get too
fat and round on the native grass.
Last fall l stopped at house to bor-
row a match to light my pipe with.
The man told me to 60 right out in the
garden and pick all 1 wanted. l did
not know what he meant at first, but
he went out with me, and-Tm almost
afraid you'll think m liar for telling
it-there was about half an acre grow
ing the finest parlor matches l ever
saw. They were as thick as hairs on
blind mole. He said he had poor crop
the year before because the seed was
too good for such soil. This year he
had mixed his seed matches with about
onc-fourth toothpicks and got q splend-
id yield:
! went out after breakfast and saw
the man blowing up hubbard squashes
with gunpowder. They were too large
to be moved, and the farmer wanted
the ground. notice that one of his
wife's legs was about eight inches long
elk than the other, and the man ex-
planned it thus: He said when they first
came to Dakata they lived in Il ''dug-
OUT with nothing but the ground for
a floor, from which they had to NOW
the grass once day to find the baby,
He said his wife had a habit OF sitting
with one leg over the other knee. and
the leg that remained in contact with
the soil got such start that the other
could never catch up.-Dakota Cor.
Modern Miller