The Wilmingtonian., 1886-10-02
Breyities.

The woman who has handsome bonnet
always carries her parasol high in the air.
Philadelphia Herald
The fat woman at a dime museum may not
be "all wool, but she is generally "a yard wide
or more. Norristown Herald
"Are cigars offensive to you, madamm he
asked. "Then five-cent kind is, she replied,
with her nose in the air.-New York Sun.
The melancholy days have come.
Which make young men look blue
Saloons display the double sign,
Ice cream and oysters, too.
Boston Courier
The latest gem in the line of coroner's jury
verdicts comes from Dakota, where a jury
found that "she came to her death from q
fclonious desire to reach happy hereafter"
Alta California
Clergyman (overtaiing young couple of his
congregation on their way to church)-Won't
You and your friend get in and drive with me
to church, Miss Banchel Miss Blanche lin
nocentlyl-Oh, no, thank you; we only go
for the walk.-Life
Laura, said Mrs. Parvenu, ON the hotel
piazza, to her daughtcr-"Laura, go and ask
the leader of them orchcstras to play that
sympathy from Meddlejohn' over again It's
such an awful favorite of mine and your
fathers, too!"-Boston Traveller
If eastern journalism wants to keep pace
with the enterprise of the young and vigorous
west, it must dish up its news in this shape:
"Rev. William Wacks, the evangelist, went
cunning for sinners at Haytield and bagged
500 converts in four weeks. ."-Norristown
Herald
Fogg has said the meanest thing any man
ever was capable of saying. When Mrs f.
| left him alone in the house the other evening
she remarked: you won't be lonely, dear"
mo" lie replied; "I shan't miss you at all
The parrot, you know, is here. Boston
| Transcript.
\ canine with tin can attached TO MS UalI
by n stout cord passed hurriedly down street
'Is that dog madf' inquired an anxious pedes-
| trian. "Well, responded another, II caught
a glimpse of his countenance as he passed by,
and he didn't look the first bit pleased. =
Pittsburg Dispatch.
You will always notice that when there is
nothing about the garden to cut the grass
with but a common brealSback sickle the
wife alw;.ys does the work; but when there is
new patent lawn mower around the man
of the house is always very willing to accept
the responsibility Judge
The following notice is posted on d fence in
Morris county, Texas: IF any mans or
womans cows or oxen gifts in these here oats
his or her tail will be cut Off, as the case may
he. | am Christian man und pay my taxes,
but d-n Il man who lets his critters loose,
say New York Tribune.
The rude brakeman again is this the
right traint' "A lady asked of a brakeman the
other day. "Whcro are you going, ma'amfi
replied the brakeman None of your busi.
ness sir, rctorted the lady Il shall report
you Ia the superintendent for impudence "
And She actually did.-Ncw York Tribune.
1t is strange how a circus will upset town.
Thirty or forty years ago, people were heard
to remark, on coming out of II circus: "Well,
when you catch mo going to place like this
again you'll know it, Every year since the
first show started or the road that same
remark has been made but those people are
always the very first at the main entrance
when the next one pitches its tents --Peck's
Sun.
"What have you been doing up in the JUS
tice's Office asked a man of a serious-look-
ing individual who came down the stairs.
Are you married, my frendF interrogated
the serious booking individual. "Yes, replied
the other 81, your mother n-law liyingr
No. We'll, then, you will not fully appre,
ciate what uave been doing, have beer
taking an Oatll-a solemn oath-that if my
wife died and should marry again my sec
ond wife will be an orphan il have to wait
Till she is 100 years old. st Paul Globe