The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-09-01
A PIOUS CAPTAIN.
A Joke Played Upon the Commander of .
sloop of War.

Captain TT. OF the sloop of wal
/ Concord. In the West India squadron,
was a curious compound of humanity.
Fanatieally pious. nervous to a degree
| approaching actual hysteria. he Kept
| his officers and crew half the time in
misery.
One time his ship was nearing the
| port of Pensacola and just at dawn the
white sands of Santa Rosa island were
| sighted close aboard to windward.
The officer of the deck sent a messenger
| boy into the cabin to announce the
| fact
A minute later old T. rushed out ot
the cabin half-dressed, gave one glance
at the surf breaking shoreward a mile
away, and shouted:
"Oh, merciful Lord-here it is at last,
a lee shore and no chance to claw off
Call all hands 10 prayers-call all
hands TO prayersr'
1t took the officer of the deck half an
| hour to persuade the old gander that
there was no danger, that the wind was
of instead Of on shore, and that the
ship was heading for the Pensacola bar
IN smooth water.
One day in port q few of the mids
put up big sell on the old man. a
party of them got permission to go to
the big bayou where we generally got
fresh water for ships in the squadron.
on fishing trip.
They had been gone Just little while
when one of the conspirators, left on
board purposely, went privately into the
cabin and told Captain T. that the
fishing party was only gotten up as a
ruse TO conceal the real object of the
party going on shore. That it was to
enable two of the middies, Brown and
Ryan, to fight duel. for it was known
they had been quarreling IN the steer
age the night before.
Man my gig instantlyr' cried the
captain in nervous energy. II must
stop this wicked thing. Just think Of
it-officers of mine fighting duels!
Man my gig and put in half-dozen
marines. FL arrest them both and put
them in double irons ~
In few minutes his boat was rowing
as fast as the crew could pull for the
bayou. Old T. stood up in the stern
sheets urging the men to bend to the
oarS-fhey were on an errand of mercy
to save human life.
The boat was near the usual land
ing, when the midshipmen were seen
in a group, and the old captain, pale as
n ghost, shouted:
Were too late-we're too late
they re at it nowr'
And even as he spoke two pistol shots
resounded over the water. and he saw
two officers drop to the ground
SsI sF,.I II
live to see thisl" he moaned. why wao
l so latei Oh. men-men-pull-pu
that | may get there to console them
as they die!'
The boat touched the shore, he leap
ed out and rushed up into the group.
and kneeling down. while tears stream
ed from his eyes. began to pray loud
enough to be heard Il mile, for mercy
for the dead or dying.
While he was thus engaged the two
who bad been PROSTATE rose, and the
whole group of REFERS with barred heads
waited reverently for him TO get done
praying.
When he was pretty we'll exhausted
he looked up and there stood Brown,
Ryan. and tbe rest, with no sign of
wounds or injuries upon them
What does this mean. gentlemenP'
he asked in wonder. Have my pray
ers wrought miracle? Thank heaven,
/ was not too late after alI!''
And you might have worked a week
to persuade the old man that the whole
thing was a farce and sell got up for
his especial benefit.
He went back to the ship happy. He
had saved human life.
Poor old man-he kept getting worse
and worse until the commodore found
it necessary to send him home and put
another officer in charge of the ship
He was crazy, especially on religious
points.