The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-10-06
A Humorous Criticism.

The State Ledger, paper Published at
Jackson, Miss, contains four-column
puff Of Hon. Chas. E. Hooker, recently
nominated for Congress in the Seventh
Mississippi District 1t il not only wild
syrupy puff, but perfect purr of admira-
ton, and smear of praise. The writer
evidently dotes on Hooker, and in his
voice Ends the combined melody Of
French horn, and fiddle, and in his words
all the sweets the angels are supposed to
sup. He is gone on Hooker, and sits at
his feet and sings OF the Iinkling Esusic OF
his soft bszoo. He worships. He grovels.
He slobbers in the frenzy of his enchant-
ment and plasters compliment upon COM
pliment until, faint from exhaustion, he
sinks and gazes blissfully at 1.-THE great
silver-tongued" with love-lit eyes. Never
in the history Of this world has man been
gnshed over, as the writer who signs him
self Nj" has gushed over Hooker, and yet
be il not surfeited. He says he wants to
do il some more. This writer wishes to
finger near the nominee from the Seventh
Mississippi District-to kiss his whiskers
and plat his flowing hair.
We are unable, for want OF space, TO re-
produce all the sweet things said Of the
distinguished gentleman, but here is q
specimen earomel:
Gestures seem part OF him, like hues
and fragFsnees Of a ,wers-a sort of uecez-
slty 10 the man. To say, then, that they
are easy-escs pc from him, are grace itself
lis matter-of course, but 10 depict the
orator, We cannot. | sometimes think his
gestures have lille, and have gone on ram
bies through space-on sort of dress
parade OF grace, astonishing aud delighting
he inhabitants OF other spheres. But this
one armed orator could dispense with both
arms. his very clothing are manuals OF
gesture.
We are given to understand that this
marvellous orator-this astounding spring
of words and dow of music, can, with his
magical gestures paint the lily" and in
fact lift before the eyes OF his enchanted
audience an entire flower garden. With
The crook Of his elbow he lays out a whole
bed Of datlJdils. violets, blooming roses.
heliotropes, and beautiful verbenas. A
sweep OF his hand eonjures up rare exotics
Of the most luzuriant growth, and his
hearers intoxicated with the perfume, inn
agine they are in tropical Eden feasting
On the breath Of flowers, and lullei by the
songs Of birds. The eulogist also informs
us that Hooker does not have to depend
on the one arm he possesses, for his ges-
lures. Hooker, he says, carries his clothes
tull OF them, and therefore we suppose that
il the orator 50 desired he could in a long
speech give bis arm resting spell and al
low his coat-tails to sweep The air in proud
defiance and the slack OF his pants to shake
its clinohed fist at the foes of his beloved
country,
We now wish TO direct the attention 10
the following, which is real sugar
plum:
: TEe dic'i II Of Hooker is exceedingly
rich. 1t is
Cream Of morning Helicon,'
and his y like Faotuius. Il has a III
a
dauelng, eiixir-like qualify, too, aud is
very
Feast of nectar'd sweets,
One can almost fancy his words are hest
aung whttAer 70 leave their honeyed birth
place and 'sagaI red nest, or 10 leap ia ex-
nj ant assurance to charm,
In a staggering doubt Of warbling sweet
ness.
He seems to toy with his theae and to
cares II with bis lips. He fOt4ales phrases;
and honeyed dicJi n the playthiug Of his
mouth. Tuere is no sraiu. There are no
spur 5, no driblet'; but an unbr"ken hOw
81 nectar, drowning the ear, bathing he
sonl in riotous and overwhelming cur
rent
Here there is g'Ish of saccharine mat
ter that is appalling No sugar mill in
Louisiana could equal the output in the
very best crop year. The sweetness streams
from the Hon. Hooker's mouth and chin
in such a copious flow tina. when he speaks
at barbecue or political meeting
small boy has to stand beside him aud ian
the flies from his honeyed lips. 1t must
be indeed grand sight to see him lick his
sugar coated words and kiss them tenderly
before they rain from his mouth like corn
from a Smelling machine. "There is no
strain," says the eulogist, "no spurts, 10
driblets, net bit of it. His speech is
cataract of molasses and torrent of honey
that goes roaring, tumbling, Jumping
slushing, ripping and tearing and aweep'
ing everything before it like creyasse in
a high levee. Ii the enrsptured eulogisi
has not exaggerated, Gen. Hooker should
abandon politics forthwith aud 60 into the
sugar business and supply the market.
There is fortune in it for him, because he
does not have to bear the cost of produo
ton and therefore can control the prices
and enjoy monopoly.