The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-12-16
THE MERRY SIDE !

"Cleveland has "drawn the line.' 1t is the
"dead-line" of Andersonville.
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1.-The Chiliicothe detectives will hereafter go
forth to battle armed with beer-mugs:
Abolish the Spring election? Why, what will
become of the candidate for Assessor.
Cincinnati has advanced step-from sun
day Bsse Ball to dog-fghts and prze-fghts.
80
A hog filed the spirit of the Devil, died. A
doggery- keeper, similarly afflicted, grows fat.
After all, The doggery- keeper holds an exalt-
ed position. He holds the keys to Satan's king
dor.
little calm reflection before an act will Oft
en- save good deal of sorrowful meditation af-
ter it.
The present session of Congress bids fair to be
a popular one-as we are assured "it will not
do much"
The doggery- keeper is putting up his ice-crop.
Let the people see to it that it freezes him out,
next Summer.
The Democratic party is crawling out on the
Tariff limb, again, and getting ready to saw it
off next the tree.
1t is an excellent thing to drink your "last
glass;" but it is a good deal better not to drink
your first one.
Cleveland never misses q chance to give the
Soldiers a dab. Now he has given the pension
ers Dabney.
"Don't let that hoss trot .ny more!" said the
old farmer to the dude, "I'm afeard yell knock
a hole in the saddle!"
Dabney ought to know good deal about
disabled Union Soldiers-he saw enough of
them at Andersonville.
Morrison can give some good practical ad vice
to Congressman now. He found something
loaded in his district.
An old Boston miser left five hundred thou
sand dollars 10 Harvard College. None of it
goes to the Base Ball Club.
Halstead wants Sherman and Hawley as the
Presidential ticket. But we're for leform-we
want Bristow and Carl Schurz.
Adelina Patti has made q farewell visit to
Cincinnati-but Pete Nolan, the bruisier, still
remaius to alleviate the sorrow.
"a
Relics of the barbaric splendor of Indian life
are easily obtained. All you want is a billet of
stove-wood and an old plug hat.
Oh, Democratic friends do stop the cry of
Tariff Revision" Reduce the Revenue TAX
on whisky, if you want to-but hush!
When the old smoker got up in ChuIch and
said he twas trying to live au unclouded life,"
there wasn't a soul that believed him.
80
What pity it is that Wirz is not living yet.
What an excellent, and thoroughly Democrat
ic, officer he would make under Cleveland!
The Chillicothe folks think one of the robbers
hailed from Jackson. That won't do. A Jack
son man would never go to Waverly to steal.
When a Democrat gloats over the "good
times" Cleveland has brought he does it on the
same principle on which child smiles when
it has the collie.
An Ohio man bought old rooster for twen-
ty five cents, ate his meat, and sold his feath-
ers for five dollars. His wife was milliner.
Grover thinks there is most too much money
in the Treasury. Never mind, if the Democrat
ic party don't settle that difficulty it will go
back on it's record.
Pete Nolan, the Cincinnati bruiser, undertook
to knock Jimmy Welsh out-but was very well
pleased when Jimmy took his time and walked
out
Complaint is made that the gamblers are be-
coming numerous in Columbus. This assertion
is ill-timed, Just as the Legislators are assem-
bling.
With the abolishment of Spring elections,
the county would be rid of some of the wonder
full excitement attending the election of School
Board.
Some of the Ohio politicians are talking about
investigating an old man named Payne, who
resides in Washington. Is Donovan tight
again?
Ifit was notoriety the President sought, in
the appointment of Dabpey, he was eminently
successful. The Grand Army boys are mater
tally aiding him.
Hon. Beverly Tucker was interviewed, with
much flourish, il New York last week. The
reporter wanted to know if Cleveland could
carry the Solid South in 1888. He asked Bever-
ly. Tucker said he didn't know.
John Glass suddenly discovers that he owns
the land on which the town of Prospect is To-
Gated. With this frightened Prospect John
becomes a social glass.
An Old lady in Akron, paralyzed, seeing a
young lady's clothes take fire, jumped out OF
bed and pranced around like a French dancing
master. But this is not recommended as a safe
remedy for paralysis.
Now McClellan's story has been published
and the dead soldier will be pulled and hauled
for the next four or five years, in an attempt to
show-how little some writers know of history
-
A meeting has been held in New York to take
action against the use of the pure juice of the
tobacco-stem, instead of the pure juice of the
grape, in communion service.
O'Donovan Rosa has been so successful il
behalf of the Fenians cause, that the FenianF
have denounced MIN traitor. He had yea
enough-but lacked brains.
A Cincinnati paper heads an account of
festival: "Home Tor the Friendless Lunch!'' L
its friendless lunch you've got the neares
tramp can find home for it, without any de
mands upon his charity.
-
Henri Watterson asks, sneeringly where the
shot guns were in Virginia. Beverly Tucker
another Democrat, says his party friends staic
at home in Virginia. Watterson is answered.
| Boynton has discovered that Grant was re
ported to have sr,spcioned that Logan had al
| inclination to go over to the Democracy. Ever
| this wonderful discovery was not made unit
| after Grants death.
The President of tue United States lakes thu
| ground that Free Trade would benefit the farm
ers of this country. II a ten-year-oId boy on
Jackson County farm should argue that way
| he would get spanked.
-
| The Chillicothe police vonld have whippe
| the burglars if there had been somebody to hol
tho police up, to keep them from falling an
breaking theff heads on the stones of the pike