Morning journal and courier., 1886-02-22
UNTA XED.

Ben. Banks is featuring on F'What Man Owes to the Town He Lives h." It is lia- ble to be tax.-Lynn Item. Never borrow trouble. The interest you ! have to pay for the accommodation is exces- sive.-Pittsburg Chronicle. There is an art in putting on gloves says a fashion paper. It is easy enough after you get your hand in.-Philadelphia Call. There is one concern in this city that makes great deal of money and doesn't ad- vertise. It is the mint.-Philadelphi North American.
 An exchange heads 8 long article with this strange heading, 'Irish in Earnest" Did anybody suppose they were Irish for the fun of the thing.-Boston Transcript. A number of Philadelphia ladies have formed an association to do mending for bachelors. It is conjectured that they 'sew that they may reap. p."-Norristown Herald. In the present style of shirt collar young man of fashion may be sasely trusted in the gilded halls of pleasure. An entire corps de ballet could not turn his head.-Natick Citi- zen.
 Whenever you see lady with 8 very tall hat in the theater you see a woman who does not read the papers. If she did she would not wear the tall hat.-Philadelphia Call.
 A new law in Kansas forbids man to make an ass of himself. The statute is very ingeniously worded, the reading being that no person shall marry within six months af- ter obtaining divoree.-Burdette.
 The trade in valentines has fallen off to wonderful extent. The makers of valentines, it is suspected, have become discouraged, the pictures in the illustrated daily papers being so very much more atrocious than the valentine artists could ever conceive off, Boston Transcript.
 A Red Canon prospector gathered rabbit meat enough during the late storm to do him till June He cut lot of trees, painted the ends black, and the rabbits butted their brains out trying to jump into what they took for holes. He got 40 the first night Genoa (Nev.) Courier.
 Lord Carnarvon will have a garter made for him as token for his services in Ireland. If man has no true nobility in his head, the best thing he can do is to wear a sign of it on his leg. It may not make him really great, but good ga1ters will keep his socks up and help him along in the world.-New Orleans Picayune.
 'sSee here, elder, you told me when you sold me that bay mare that I couldn't make her balk. By George, she doesn't do any thing else." "Just what I told ye, deacon. She wunt ballk if you try to make her. She Never knew her do anything ye wanted her to. Can't make her do nothing. ."-Brooklyn Eagle.
 Son of railroad man to his father: 70, father! Come and see this washout in our backEyard'' The father, who thinks he has had washouts enough on the road without having one in his own yard, heaves a sigh and goes to the window prepared for the worst It is Monday, and he discovers the wash out on the clothes ine.-Norwich Bull letin.
 ''Mr Trialbalance," said old Tyson to the bookkeeper, ''you were away two days last week" 1T was, MT. Hyson; was summon ed suddenly to attend the funeral of my grandmother 'sAh. yes," said the old merchant, :squite right, quite right. Ac- cept my condolences. Did you bury the old ladyg "Yes, sir. An, yes; buried her" ''I thought from your breath that you had embalmed her." Loud and long continued silence. .)-Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.