Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-15
BRIGHT BITS.

is incorrect
Editors are declining, not poets - yea0 Ha-
zen Years
A LITTLE arithmetic elbows that mince pie
suitable for the Balthoidi Goddess of Liher-
TVS mouth would have to be thirty feet in di-
amcter,- Snrihg felA UnioR.
A YOUNG MAN who wanted to know, you
know. which is correct: Two teaspoonsful or
two teaspoOnfuls." is informed by the Boston
Post that three fingers is about the right
thing" A Kentucky editor could hardly have
come nearer to it.
Nv AFTER, is this an old or a new herring
that YOU have brought me-
.Gan't you tell?'
"Well, then. what difference does it make?"
-fIteGeade Butter.
SwARMs of whiting, or, as they are some
times called, Presidential fish, because their
visits occur once in four years, are now in the
river and are being caught in large quaint
ties. They have remarkable appetites and
bite at anything. Precedence JouTftrl.
mr.. SIXTH gone abroad."
Yes, nv husband is on the continent for
his health"
u thought he was well enough"
mo: there was weakness IN the spinal
column OF his ledger. - Washington Post.
Mrs. JoNEs-I am told that your husband
is worth a great deal of money in the old
country. Mrs. Mcnamara.
Mrs. Macnamara-TrOth an he is, mann.
me government over there will nay 50, 900 for
Mac any day they can lay their hands on him.
-LoaoeU ittsen.
HERE, waiter, what kind of water is ,b1s9"
SAID guest at a country hotel down South.
Oats spring water, sah,' replied the wait
er politel :"
''Oh. IS it? Well, bring me some winter
water; this is warm enough to wash a shirt
in Warrington critic.
An eminent physician in Newark, y. j..
and Baptist, restored the voice of a we'll
kno WI Baptist lady few DAYS ago by his
skillful treatment. When congratulated upon
his success in doing this he repei: There
Is nothing easier than to restore a woman's
voice. -Rjchmond Religious Herdld.
QUITE ANOTHER TEING.-"Hole on dar,"
said colored man, hailing his acquaintance.
Does yer cross der street cherry time yer sees
me 10 Keep from payin' dat bil?'
NO, doesn't"
"What deu:"
Ter keep from bein' axed for it."-Tepas
StttjnGs.
"A COLD wave is coming,
Ohio. aha!'
|he pheasant5 are drumming
A-near. afar:
The prophets are hoping
And wOnderiog whether
They'll hit in mile
Of the state of the weather
THE Washington correspondent of the LEX
audra Gazette says that MIR. Blaine wrote a
10 ter 10 Roscoe Conkling in 1884. asking the
ex-senator TO make three speeches in New
\ ork for the National Re3ub lean ticket. MIR.
Con Kings characteristic reply was: "Mr
Blaine, ! am not engaged in CRIMINAL prac-
tice." No wonder they mover speak as they
pass by,
HFkRY WARD BEECHER SAYS that when he
came out against eternal punishment in Lon
don there was only one red faced man who
shouted out TO him from the gallery. The
Bible says 90" hut the reporters put it down
that several clergYmen rose TO express their
d'sapproval.' u is cheering TO iInd that the
English reporter ia just as fal ible as his
American brother Washia0ton Post.
PHyNCIAN-Your husband. madam, is sufT-
eriuC from nervous prosIretion,
Madam--GCs, sir.
Physielan-And he needs something to quiet
him. What is his business
Madam-He is a detective, cir.
Physlci n-Wsll. slip So bill into his hand
when he isn't looking ever two hours during
the night. ana III call again in the morning
Good day,-Netc York San.
IN savannah. Ga. q reporter on one of the
papers was writing at his desk when the last
sc ere earthquake visited that section. The
suGdenness OF the shock partially paralyzed
him and he has been unable 10 do any work
since. UiOn examining the sheet of paper
upon which he WAS writing it was found that
he was beginning 10 write % mother n law
joke. An earthquake is not an unm Xed
calamity hicd.o Tribune.
AN old sea Captain. who formed his habits
IN bnt utl WiibN sIOR WAS popular ana VINO
has not aterod them, was taken sick not iou Z
ago and had to call doctor. The ;hysicisn
gave him prescription, and among other
things told him he must drink no liquor.
Cant have Just SIN all nipper once o day."
asked the Captain.
Not drop" said the doctor.
what! Can't nave little santa Cruz?''
"Not n drop"
How much IS your bill?" growled the old
salt, sayAgely thrusting one hand IN his trous-
ers pocket, and adding: ii sh0n't need your
services any longer. - 0,oiSt0H Ne JoUrnGl.
IT was Il clear, cool November night. The
moon shone ~ brightly as a pew tin pan, all
/ nature was asleep, and The white frost was
quietly covering the board fences, mat the
sun might have glietening surface to shine
ON in the morning. Such an evening was ca j.
culated to bring ont the sentiment OF the
young folks, but somehow IL Il dn't
ION, Algernon," she murmurcd, as her
I head dropped at the proper angle on his
shoulder. "lhe warmth of our Affection"
WV would be a good d-d-deal WV
warmer i your 70 ks mad put up tn. til the
sitting 70 IN ct stove week ago.
And then ne embraced himself with his
new overcoat and departed for more con
genial cllme,-Udrtford Post.