Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-15
BRIGHT BITS.

IT isn't strange that the longer the snow
| lies the worse people like it. Lying is very
UNPOPULAR PhiiddeLDhia Neocs.
FIRST CITIzEN-Here 10 a petition 1 would
like you to sign. The names of some OF the
best people OF the city re on iE
Second Citizen (holding out his hand)-Let
me read it.
Fl st Citizen twarmly}-Sir. you insult me !!
-Pfttao&r0 Disp itch.
GROCER don't have to crack up that but
ter. Uncle 'Rastus, il sells itself.
Uncle 'Rastus Costing it)-Yes, sab, dat
butter oughter sell itself, tie up itself, oliver
Itself, an still have strength nuff lef' ter
dlges' itself. Wot yo cha'gln' TO- axle greare
dis mawnin', Mister Scales:-IeraS SIti"gS.
THE last words of a man condemned to
death.
AS the fatal moment approaches he asks the
hangman:
what dav Is it to-day?"
'Monday," murmurs the executioner.
MONDAY? A nice way to be sin the week"
III ench J0urn0i.
A SLEEPER is one who sleeps A sleeper is
that IN which the sleeper sleeps. A sleeper is
that on which the sleeper which carries the
sleeper while he sleeps runs Therefore.
while the sleeper sleeps in the slceper the
sleeper carries the sleeper over the sleeper
under the sleeper until the seeper which car
RE, the sleeper jumps off the sleeper and
wakes The sleeper in the sleeper by striking
the sleeper under the sleeper, and there is no
longer any sleeper sleeping in the sleeper on
the sleeper. -Ch h, istian ut Work.
"AND above all, Nellie, my love-" were the
parting words of a lady to her daughter. as
the cab to convex the newly welded pair to
the station drew up TO the door, 'above all,
Nellie, if you should quarrel for Reginald is
but man, and life is fun of thOrns-rcmem-
Der that your first duty is to yourself as IA lady
ana h0usckeeper. Never hit your husband
with rolling pin or 4 potato MASTER. You
could never forgive yourself if the result of
such blow was to be she appearance of a
hair at the table in a dish of mashed potatoes
or pie crust when you had company at din
| ner. Inc poker viii 90 quite as well, and is
! infinitely more ladyike. Good bye. Write
every day and don't forget your poor old ma.
Boo-hoo. "-uG0erict.
FORGET you9 Never! Fen though time
should strangely change my earthly lot;
Though friends should cease on YOU TO smile,
And hatred seek your name to blot.
Though each successive year of age
should with fuTrow leave its trace,
Believe me, you Pd ne er forget
Despite the wrinkles on your face
Forget you? Though the stars should fade,
The sun refuse his light to give,
| Though earth should from its orbit spring,
In memory you stlll would i've.
Forget you? Not while l receive
Each month your heartless note, to- wit:
$50 Pressly FIFTEEN. Suit Of Clothes,
Sl00. Please remit"
Merchant Traoeler.
CoNTRIBUToR-I have here little story.
Editor-Does 1t say anything about Large
lustrnus eyesp'
Contrlhutor-Not word.
Editor-Does the clover throw his whole
soul in one long. passionate kiss?"
COntribHtor-Oh. no.
Edltor-Is there anything In it about ''ethe-
real bliss?"
COntributor-No.
Editor-Doe3 any one speak words "burn-
ing with lOve?'
ContributOr-NO one.
Editor-D0es the hero ''tear his hear" or
the herolne's face 'fairly glow with pleas
ureP'
Contributor-No.
EditOr-Then | cannot accept it. 1t violates
all precedent. Take it back and run those in
and will consider it.-Ram6ler.
EDITH-Oh. dear! / think it's too bad.
May de Blank. is having in the East ri
warrant she saw that Greek play, and will
never stop talking about it when she comes
back.
Mabel-Yes; isn't it awful? We must do
something.
"Indeed we must"
"Oh, know how to get even with her, and
just make her CRY her eyes out"
"0h. you angelo
'She won't be likely to spring it on us, you
know, until some evening when gentlemen
are around, and you know sine does not I'M
derstand one word Of Greek"
"Neither do We"
"No; but when she gets to talking about it
We'll look awflly mortified and ashamed of
our sex, anu so on, to think any of our set
would go to see thing so awfullv wicked tn at
they did not dare play it in English for fear of
the police. '-OndhG World.