The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1886-05-21


ELDER Davis when did dat glacial epoch
take placer"
II dunno SIR"
Judge Holdback. what do you know bout
de drift period?" ..g
II reckon dar was good deal O driftin'
aroun, sab"
"Yes, I s'pose dar was. Didn't happen to
drift any 'taters an meat your way, did its"
"No, sah." d.. .- .,.... t..s.r .
Elder Davis, did dat glacial epoch pay up
any of your back rent or git new shoes fur de
chillens"
itss mo, sab. a--- Tt-
"Dat's 'nuff; you kin boat sot down. While
blame two old members like you for sottin'
bad example befo de club, l must at de
same time acknowledge dat it am only de
weakness of human natur' Moas' of us
would sooner fight over de aige of de world
dan to resent straight insult We would
argy longer to convince man about de size
of Noah's ark dan TO convert him to our re-
ligun of de present day. We let our chiTen
go bar'fut while we hunt fur evidence to con-
vict de Gauls of shiftlessness. We spend
hours assertin' an denyin' dat de moon am
inhabited, while fifteen minutes used to fix
de bottom hinge on de front gait am looked
upon as time frown away. While we sot an
wonder why Sodom an Gomorrah didn't be-
have eirselves an escape destruckshun, de
ole woman serapes de bottom of de -four bar1
an de fab goes out in de kitchen stove. Jist
what aige de crowbar belongs to, or who in
vented it, or why it was invented, am
queshuns which needn't trouble any member
of dis club. De fack dat de crowbar am
heah wild us should satisfy all. Let us now
purceed to attack de business which has
called us together" .4.slE
NOT CARRIED
Waydown Beebe then offered the following
preamble and resolution: 81 r 5'rt
"Whereas, Medical science has demon
strated de fack dat de habit of drinkin' ice
water has tendency to bring on heart dis
ease, lumbago, liver complaint, insomnia and
Mr.. Bright's disease; now, darfore,
"Resolved, Dat dis Lime Kiln Club not
only abstains from ice water doorin' de
comm summer. but it advises de Guild people
of dis kentry to do de same thing" sl
Professor Arnbidexter Smith, Giveadam
Jones, Samuel Shin and Sir John Skinner
opposed the resolution, while Elder Toots
Whalebone Howker, Caesar johnson and
others favored it, and upon a vote being
taken tie was the result Brother Gardner
said he did not care to take the responsibility
of a decision ON his shoulders, and suggested
as a compromise that Sundown Davis be
submitted to a series of experiments from
May to October to determine the matter
The suggestion was accepted and the resolu-
lion Withdrawn. fgsH arse 5Fsha
,ss5.- s MILITARY REPORT. sH
Col Erastus White, of the committee on
military affairs, reported that his committee
had Carefully investigated the subject of our
coast defences as required by a late resolu-
tion, and had reached the following concur
l. In case of war the enemy's fleet could
easily bombard any city on the coast We
would therefore suggest that all these cities
be moved back fourteen miles. -4fhl5 y1s5i
d: 2 The ersemy would have no trouble in
landing troops on our shores. The only
trouble would be IN getting any Of them off
alive again Thefonly suggestion we have to
offer is that Ben Bntler be notified to be on
hand early in the morning. ...g. - -, a...tE
3. If new Paradise hall be erected it
should be placed at least twelve miles from
any spot accessible to the gunboats II aa
"A Wedon't want war, but if one happens
to fall out. of q tree and hit us we shan't run
away.
5. 1t is better to apologize than to get licked.
This advice is for sllch nations as may feel
like knocking the chip off our shoulder. IS t5
The report was accepted and adopted, and
all unfinished business being placed on shelf
to dry, the meeting adjourned Detroit
Free Press FsIb{sBgsF HE Eae@ eEaS sr