davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10
"A WOLF

"Bill Ridley is a VOlfs said Old
Judge Bicknell.
"Why do you think sOSg some
one asked.
"Well, / viii tel you. Some
time ago a roughly dressed man
with bushy red whiskers rode up
to my house and wanted 10 sell me
a horse, lean animal, but one in
which | saw many fne points. The
fellow said he wasin such need Of
money that he would take twenty
dollars for the animal, Igivehim
the money and took the horse.
The animal fattened rapidly. /
found him equally setyiceably in
shafts or under the saddle one
day, shortly after the animal had
developeditnto as fine q horse As /
had ever seen, Bill Ridley came
along and claimed him. He
brought forward sufficient proofto 70
establish his claim and of course I
give up the horse, thereby loosing
my twenty dollars besides loosius
the time | had spent working with
him"
81 don't see how you can blame
Ridley" "You don't; then l will
show you, The scoundrel wanted
his horse fattened, but was too stin.
gy to spend money for corn, so he
disguised himself, sold me his
horse, then after the horse was fat,
came back and claimed him. Yes
Billy is q wolf"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10
A Close Competitor.

A Chicago News man has heard
a good story at the expense Of John
j. ingalls,, the grim saturnine Sen.
ator from Kansas. One Of his con.
stituents, a rough,lookiug fellow Of
the cowboy type, sent his card TO
the senator and seated himself in
the marble room to await the lat.
ter's arrival. When ingalls, made
his appearance, some one else en-.
gagged him in conversation. AT It's
conclusion be started to reenter the
chamber, having apparently for.
gotten the purpose for which he
had quilted it, That moment the
cowboy seized him.
Be you q Senator2 he enquired.
ingalls, gently disengaged him.
self and answered with unusual
dignity; | have that honor, sir.
Do you know old Ingalls, of Kan.
sasH was the next interrogatory.
ingalls, shot q piercing look at
the fellow to see if he was in earn.
est. He evidently satisfied him
self upon that point, for he an
Swered Immediately:
Oh, yes; we're very well 40.
quainted.
By this time quite a crowd of sen.
ators and senate employees had
gathered around the two men.
Well, then, continued the visitor,
| wish you would tell him | am
about tired Of waiting forhim, and
if be doesn't hurry out here pretty
soon, I'll make it I'd lively for
him when his next election comes
round.
Do you know Iugalls2 inquired
the Kansas senator with a non.
chalant air.
l do not, was the response.
Have you any idea what he looks
like,
No; but I'm told he's as ugly as
the old Nick.
Do you suppose be is as ugly as l
ami was ingalls, next interroga.
tory.
Well, 1 don't know, said the fel.
low, with great deliberation, but 1
expect you'd crowd him mighty
close.
| At this point Mr.. Ingalls, made
his escape into the senate chamber,
trying to look responsive to the
roars of laughter which followed
him.
The constituent has not had his
interview yet.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10
Good Hopsekeeper.

Ability to be a good housekeeper
is not conferred to every woman,
but it is possible to be a good one
without sacrificing all other inter.
ests in life. While one islearning,
to be sure, it may seem as If there
were not many interests beyond the
household, but art has been master.
ed, there is a freedom and a sense
Of power worth all the struggles
made. OF course, the kitchen Is
not the only place in which bur.
ddhs are born, yet the care Of the
table generally makes itself felt
more than anything else; and no
matter how well conducted all the
other departments may be, if this
one be. neglected, discomfort and
unbappiness will ensue. Cooking
is science, and for this reason
girls are more successful than their
elders in ordinary experiments,
because they comply strictly with
directions instead of guessing what
quantity Of ingredients to use in or.
der to produce desired results, Elk.
perieuced housekoer srs mightavoid
much disappointment il they were
equally careful.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

Every carpenter has a plane du.
ty before him.
A thorn in the bush is worth two
in the hand.
What plaything is above every
otherR The Top.
A good way to curb a wild young
man is to bridal him.
schOOlboys are usually glad to
see the rule laid down.
Figures that don't Standing
dummies in a tailor's shop.
An uninterestiug period in boy.
hood-Waitiug to be whipped,
The world moves. 1t probably
Ends it cheaper to move than to
pay rent.
Some men never get fighting
mad. They draw the line at a safe
place.
Speaking of rude remarks, any
remark is rued that gets you into
trouble,
When a burglar prizes open a safe
and does not find a prize it is a dis.
agreeable surprise.
Why is a ship the politest thing
in the world2 Because she always
advances with a bow.
In Missouri they call a brass
band concert a success when the
leader escapes with his life.
Tobogganing in Canada is an
extremely popular sport with back.
sliding cashiers from the United
States.
1t is not necessary for a man to
put a thermometer in his mouth il
he has q cold in his head.
If you wish to pay your debts,
you have paid them. Your Credi.
tors cannot deny that there has
been pay.meant.
Three months men will End IL
hard to hang up Stocking, the new
superintendent Of the workhouse
on Blackwell's Island.
A man in Toronto has been kill.
ed for leaving the door open, This
crime seems to have at last met
with an adequate punishment.
EYES," remarked a landlady, at
costs money TO get the knives
sharpened every week, but It's
cheaper than buying tender meat"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10
Malt Liquors.

1t is very probable that were the
claim to be made that the people Of
the United States consume q great,
er quantity Of liquor per capita
than those of any other nation, it
would be sustained by official facts
and figures. The report of the
commissioners Of internal revenue
for the year closed June 80, places
the consumption of malt liquors
tor that time at 17,579,72S barrels,
an increase over the figures of the
preceding year of l, ,147,678 barrels.
Reducing the reported consump.
tion of last year to gallons, gives
702,94S,920 gallons as the quantity
of malt liquors consumed in the
United States during the twelve
months. On the basis Of the can.
vass Of population for 1880, The
consumption Of malt liquors per
capita was over fourteen gallons,
and ii be assumed that the entire
quantity was drunk by the male
population alone the figures wOu ID
give over twenty eight gallons for
the consumption Of every man and
male child in the United States
II the calculation be based on an
estimate of 100000 as the pres.
ent population of the United States
it will be found that our consump.
tion Of malt liquors for the period
stated was equal to q fraction over
twelve gallons for every man, wo'
man and child in the country.
Here is a gigantic sin, in The
guise of q personal enjoyment,
which the temperance people seek
to cleanse our land from. May
they succeed,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

- o d. -. .l''SI7 = " = .
worn book, and nearly foil Of en-,
tries. Most Of them seemed to re.
late TO trips between Boston and
Providence, but near the back end
! ] found one reading:
About ten miles north Of Mariet-
Ia, Ga; turn 10 right where high.
way bends 10 the left; 60 intowoods
about ten rods; look for twin beech
tree, with initials I'D. S. G.s cut
low down.
Ny heart gave jump. That
was the spot where the Yankee
cavalry run me into hiding, and
those were the initials l had seen
on the treel Had this stranger
come down to unearth a skeleton9
| was wondering over the matter
when ! heard The clatter Of hants
and knew that he had returned
He had discovered the loss d his
book. Now. then, ,lsdfi what you
may cal q mean trick. 4 pocket.
ed the book, got down stairs with.
out being seen, and went to the
nearest justice and demanded a
warrant for the arrest Of George
Paige for robbery. Before he had
Ceased looking for his lost memo
randum a constable made.him pris.
oner. Meanwhile | had engaged a
horse and wagon, borrowed an
empty tea.chest and a spade, and,
as Paige went to Jail, I drove out
of town. / wanted TO unearth that
skeleton myself
1t was six years since l had left
it, but | had but little difficulty in
finding the grave, although the
beech tree had been cut down. In.
deed, l walked almost straight to
it, and, though the initials were
indistinct, they we're there as wit.
nesses. In half an hour l had un
earthed the Corpse" He, or it,
consisted Of rotten cotfee.sack
wrapped around a mouldy blue
blouse, and inside the blouse we're
three gold watches, s42O in gold,
s1203 in greenbacks, half a dozen
gold rings, a fine diamond pin, two
gold bracelets, a gold.lined cup, a
full set Of cameo jewelry, a solid
silver back comb, and about four
pounds Of silver spoons and forks,
the whole find being worth to me
nearly $1,000.
The stuff had been deposited
there by two or three or perhaps
half a dozen foragers, and much Of
it had been stolen from the dead
on the battle field.
When the treasure had been sc.
cured l drove on to Cartersyille
and from thence sent the horse
back, and telegraphed to Paige my
regrets at his situation, as l had
discovered my mistake in accusing
him. He was held a day or two
and discharged. He rode out t.
the spot, found the treasure gone
and left the State without a wore
as to what his real errand had been
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

An editor who speaks Of a man
who has discovered a fact by e1per,
ience, says the new way to prevent
bleeding at the nose, is to keep
your nose out Of other peoples bus
iness.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

In these days Of hydrophobia II
may be well to remark that no per
son who has paid for his newspa.
per in advance was ever known TO
be bitten bya mad dog.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

Andrew Harmon was q we'll
known Maine soldier. He fought
as we'll as he could and came out
Of the service broken down and is
now a pensioner, He came TO the
post office one day with an Ordin.
ary letter covered with six
or eight postage stampO. Why
Andrew!" exclaimed the postmas
ter. "You don't need all these
stamps. One is enough. "You
mind your business" said Andrew.
1.-THE government has used me well
and I'm going to use the govern.
ment WE'LL"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

The reason why the mule sub.
mits so meekly to ridicule may
arise from the knowledge that the
government is always willing 10
pay more fOr him than a horse.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

A prominent actor says the only
time he felt inclined to throw up
bis part was when he studied the
role Of a ship,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

A South Haven (MiCh.) man
pays sl8 dog tax and $3.50 real
estate.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

When a dog bites the dust II isn't
necessary to send it TO Pastuer to
have il inoOulated.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

1t is a curious fact the women
are always envious of men. "My
darling husband" said an appreci.
ative wife to the hero of her choice,
show I do wish l were you" This
seemed nothing more than natural,
and the darling husband" for
most assuredly he was, in his own
judgment, a man TO be envied by
almost any one. Still he said:
sand why do you wish you were l,
my petH" Then with silver elo.
quence, or in those days Of green.
back eloquence, she replied, "Be
cause then would order my little
wife such lovely bonnet for the
summer" And that is the kind ol
trick which is being played on
men every day in the year. There
is something very solemnsabout
matrimony.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10
A Dakota MANS Mistake.

A man from Illinois got off the
northwestern train at EsielIine,
the other day, and met an old friend
now living in Dakota.
Slows old Jim Stanford pros.
Pering out hereH" asked the Illinois
man.
"Jim's gi!tin' long poorly, very
poorly. You see, Jim made a mis-.
take and it set him back"
How'd he make a mistaken
"set his house on the ground
with no underpinin' under t."
"Well, s'posin' he did, ! don't see
what hurt it would do"
"of course you don't-yOu live
in Illinoise."
swell, what hurt did it do2"
"Why, hang il all, pardner, this
Dakota sile Is so darned fertil' that
The house took root and srowsdlp
at did, Well, admittin' it's 50,
| should think il would have been
better he'd had a bigger house."
ayes, that's what Jim lowed at
first. He had a nice twostory
house, then a three story one and
pretty soon q Eve story one."
"N.O; course not, but when it got
up there instead Of headin' out
with French roof and lightnin'
rod the blamed house took to
branching out with bay winders
and piaszers and pretty soon the
whole thing blowed over and kill.
ed a yoke of brindle oxen for Jim.
| tell you, you can't build houses
in Dakota without underDinin'p
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

Mr.. Manning is the boldest play
or on record. He has just made an
other slO,OOO,OCO call,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1886-03-10

The tide Of life-the married
ones,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24
COUNTY CONVENTION.

In accordance with the recommenda.
ton of the State Senatorial Committee
for the 18th, District there will be a
republican delegate County Conven.
ton held at the Court House in lola,
at . O'Clock p. m. on Monday Oct. 4th,
1856, for the purpose of selecting twelve
delegates to attend the republican Sen.
atOrial Convention to be held at the
Court House on Friday Oct. 9Th, 1856.
Each township will be entitled to the
same representation had at the last
County Convention.
The County Central Committee re-
commend. that primaries for the selec-
ton of delegates to said County Con-
vention be held at the usual voting
places in each township ON Thursday
September Both, 1886, ut 3 o'clock D. m.
The committee further recommend
that at these primaries candidates be
selected for the various township offices.
1t is recommended that the polls be
held open at each primary ut least
one hour. II. A. EWING, Chairman.
CHAs. F. SCoTr, Secretary.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24
CARD FROM DIR. L. T0zER, OF lola, KANs

Having established an Infirmary in
lola, for the treatment of chronic dis
eases and surgery, we would call the
attention of the public to the follow
ing:
We treat all durable diseases with a
success unsurpassed in the West. We
cure all captures by process entirely
new, safe and simple, which does away
forever with the truss; no knife no
danger. We cure PILES aud FIsTULA
without the knife or pain.
Structures, Hydrocele, Variocele, and
diseases of the Kidneys and Bladder
are cured by the latest and most an
proved methods.
In all private diseases we have u
wide experience and unsurpassed snc-
cess. Diseases of the Joints and Bones,
Old Sores, TumOrs, Cancers, Scrofula,
Spinal Curvature, Hip Joint Disease,
Hare Lip, Cleft Palate, and all diseases
of the Throat, Lungs and Heart are
treated by those improved methods for
which the last twenty years are ia
nous.
We straighten Crossed Eyes, operate
for Cataract, remove obstruction to
Tear Ducts, and treat successfully all
durable diseases of the Eye and Ear.
We are especially prepared in the
Infirmary for the treatment of the Dis
eases of Women. If you have any
Chronic diseases, come or send for
Circular. We will visit any part of
the county in consultation or to per-
form surgical operations. Address
communications to DIR. L. TOZER.
lola Infirmary, lola, Kansas.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24
Usage Occurrences.

Well the Modocs downed the Il. r. bonds
some were shouting happy over the fact whil'
others seemed to look rather solemncholy W,
always had faith in the final triumph Of righ
and in this instance believe that time will hca
all wounds and the company build the road.
The bonds were defeated in District No. ::
las usual The fact is last week was = bad on.
for bonds.
We must consult the almanac and call the
next election when the ''sign is just right
Melons have been plentiful and very cheap and
no charges for the col-e-a mawbus dat follow.
Broom coru seems to have taken quite tum-
BILE.
Mr.. Cutter will store and wait for better
prices.
Mr.. J. A. Shoemaker: Is yet at Kansas City
under treatment. His left eye is fully restored
aud his physician hopes to DE successful with
the right one in due time. He has been away
now six months
Nearly or quite all the republicans of these
parts already read the REGISTER. Should we
find any browsing around ON the barrens OF
neutrality will try to wake them mp to q sense
of their ruined State.
just think Of it. 2sl4 Enemies and 50 defen-
ders Of the government appointed to Office by
the present administration. The only possible
dodge in that is the insanity dodge.
JACK & JILL
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24

Four Of the family Of Mrs. Catherine Math-
ews are down with Typhoid fever. DR.. Martin
ID caring TOR them.
Mrs. Dragoo il entertaining her daughter and
little grand children this week.
Miss Robinson 10 mp from Humboldt again
and Mr.. G-is happy rs boy with new bal
loon.
Frank Humstead is to teach the Lagrand
school.
Mr.. Caldwell will oficiate at Diamond.
The broom corn boys are all getting home
again.
The crops are beginning to move but the farm
ers are not well satisfied with present prices
Mr.. TrOutman was up last week from BelOit
on business.
We see q number Of strangers pass about tn,
ne ighborhood. bnt failed to learn who they
were or who they were visiting.
We see the Cavanaughs' are entertaining theil
brother from Mo-
Mrs. John Morrison Is home from Lawrence
where she went on visit some weeks ago.
Mrs Erwin Hardy is back from Indiana, ant
says she likes Kansas yet.
Mrs. Robt. Hardy is now on the sick list. but
expects to start ON q visit to Indiana, as sool
as she is well.
A little son Of Mr.. John Clark got an Ovel
gorge of dried apples last week and the li:tl,
Quence.
Mr.. Buck Martin is talking ofmoving, and
to loose rs good family.
Miss Madge Colborn was spending last weel
with friends on Deer Creek
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24
THR sFUAroRIAL VACANCY.

On our first page will be found no
tice calling \ Republican Senatorial
Convention to meet in lola Friday
Oct. 8, to nominate q candidate for the
office made vacant by the death of Sen.
ator J. H. Whitford. No candidates
are announced as yet although several
gentlemen have been mentioned In
connection with the office, those that
have come to our notice being w. HI.
Slavens. of Woodson, L. X. Kirk, w.
A. johnson aud T. III. Ijams, of An.
derson and s. J. Stewart, Of Allen.
AS Mr.. Slavens was unanimously
nominated for Representative by the
republicans of WOOdson county last
Saturday, it is hardly probable that he
will care to enter the senatorial list.
From what we can learn L. X. Kirk
seems more likeley to receive the sup.
port Of Anderson county than either
Of the other gentlemen named. Mr..
Kirk is a very pleasant gentleman
who has already served one term in
the Senate, and whose nomination
would add strength to the ticket in
each of the counties of the District.
And it is entirely probable that any
good man upon whom Anderson cOun-
ty would unite will receive the nomi-
nation, as the right of that county to
fill out the unexpired term must be
generally conceded.
Should Anderson county not be able
to unite on one man, however, the
REGISTER believes that the conven-
ton could not do better than nominate
Capt. S. ]. Stewart, of this county.
He is known, and known favOrably
all over the District. His two terms
as ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS four
sessions of the Legislature-gave
him wide personal acquaint.
ance among the members and q
familiarity with the rules of both
houses. and the legislative processes
generally, that will place him at once
on an equal footing with the men with
whom he would be brought into con.
tact. Members of the Legislature fro,1
other counties, with whom we have
talked, say that Capt. Stewart was
one of the most popular as well as one
of the most influential members of the
House. With all these things admit
ted, he would enter the Senate with
perfect assurance of q useful and ho1'
Orable term of service.
What has been said will be under.
stood as not being spoken to the preju.
dice of any other gentleman in either
of the three counties who may hereaf.
ter announce himself as q candidate
Of course the REGISTER holds itsell
entirely free to support any good re.
publican and honest man that the con.
vention to which the matter will be
submitted may choose. 1t has merely
suggested that if the honor is to come
to Allen county, it cannot be mort
wOrthily bestowed than on Capt. s. J
Stewart.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24
Salem Sentences.

The Salem young folks went over and sur.
prised Misses Minnie and Ruth Tibbetts last
Tuesday night.
Miss Hattie Adams resigned as chOrister Of
Salem Sunday School last Sunday. Miss Der.
tina Keller was chOrister in her place.
iThe Sunday School picnic in Mr.. MYERS
grove Saturday, went or nicely. The address,
ed and the singing were good, also the d inner
The poem, written for the occasion by Miss
Hattie Adams, and read by Miss Alice Myler,
deserves mention.
Miss Matte Brady, who has been visiting
friends and relatives in WOOdsOn county since
the close of the Normal in that county returned
home last week, and will begin teaching Mon
day. She will be greatly missed by the young
folks here. who all hope that her pathway
may be strewn with many roses and but few
thOrns. Miss Amanda Brady is here with her
cousin
Mrs. Estes, accompanied by her son and
daughter, is visiting her father, J. Z. Myler.
Miss Bernice Ferguson began her school at
LaGrand last week.
Miss BERTHE Davis is visiting at Mr.. MYERS.
MIR. L. H. kasebeer. of Illinois, was out last
week looking after his lard here.
Mrs. Sigler, of ElDoralO, is visiting with
her sister, Mrs. Davis.
The Cherry Grove school began last week
with j. +. Flynn as teacher.
Twenty-Five of the young folks OF Salem met
at Mr. Cunningham's last Saturday night and
had jolly good time. PHIL FARLEY
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-09-24
COUNTY NOTES.
FROM REGISTER REPORTERS
What is Being Done Throughout, the
county-Events and Gossip
Of the Week.
Carlyle Correspondents.

Weather pleasant and growing cool. We ar,
| needing rain.
Born. to Mrs. Richard Wright, Saturday,
September Is. \ line girl.
Married al the residence Of..Rev Mr.. Millikcn.
In this city, on Thursday September To- Mr..
Chas. Johnston anl Mrs. 1. Callinaw all of
Allen county. They will take house in lola,
and 60 to housekeeping Immediately
L. s. Ball has bought S. NJ. McClaren's farm
at Maple grove School house and will move
there in about two weeks. Mr.. McClaren will
move to lola. after his sale onthe twenty eighth
inst.
The new road one mile south Of this place is
opened at last. 1t was ordered opened by Mar,
18th, the notices being served ON Christmastiay.
by 5. McClarcn roai-0vcrsecr The fences are
not all up yet, but the road is operated. The
important feature Is Mr.. Funston's bridge un-
der which his cattle must pass to water.
In the last issue of the REGISTER Zone of the
Boy 's' predicted that the scho.ars of district
number will not be accommodated by foot
bridge oyer Deer Greek. We are Of the same
opinion, but We do say that the scholars Of dis
trict number will he 50 favored, or at least
many prominent men OF the district promised
said bridge.