The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1886-05-08

his wife were engaged in a friendly
boxing match, and that the blow
was accidental. He was held for
trial nevertheless.
Xxx
"Mr. Coldcash, have come to ask
for the hand of your daughter"
"My daughter, sir?" Eyes; l can't
live without her" Well, sir, finish
your sentence?" "Finish my SEN
tence?" ayes, you were about to
say you could not live without her
income. Let us be frank, my dear
sir"
XXX
Ex-Governor Charles Foster, of
Ohio says that "every man in Ohio
with an ounce of brains and Thin
bleful ofblood in him is for Blaine"
Xxx
One advantage of cremation over
the old style of burial, as discov-
cred by the Macon Telegraph, is that
the mourning friends need notstand
around on damp ground and lay
the foundation for future funerals.
***
The meanest man in Rondout, N.
Y, is known as "The Sponge" He
never buys II newspaper or adver-
tises in one, but he knows the value
of advertising, for he said to a Free
man reporter the other day, eff you
want an item you might say that
--, the enterprising dealer,
has gone to the city on visit to
friends, but will combine business
with pleasure by bringing back a
spring stock of desirable goods"
XXX
Ex-Governor McLane of Mary
land, now Minister to France, whose
grace of person is matched by his
grace of manner, being once rallied,
so the story goes, on the supremacy
he seemed to enjoy with the fair
sex, Emodestly replied; II shall
never be firsta long as Lamar lives. :"
***
ergo" remarked the professor to
his class after Il long preamble !;
"Ergo"-then he stopped to take
breath. "Well, let ergo" sung out
one of the students, and the conclu-
sion was ruined.
w
A Chicago firm is building a BIZ
cycle for a Kentuckian, who sent
these dimensions with his order !:
my height is 8 feet, 2 inches; my
weight is 440 pounds"
Xxx
The Right Hon. John Thomas
Freeman Milford, Earl of Redesdale,
is dead, aged 81 years. He was a
member of the Royal Commission
on the Law of Divorce, and publish
ed a pamphlet entitled "The Law of
Scripture Against Divorce" He OPP
posed disestablishment of the Protes-
tant Episcopal Church in Ireland. He
took a prominent part in the debates
on the Alabama claims in the House
of Lords.
Xxx
Shad eggs are Matched out at
Washington in glass jars and wet
nursed in the Potomac by spectac-
led scientists. No wonder Wash
ington shad are dEy !
Xxx
1t was family gathering called
to name the baby. The name pro-
posed was William. The jury re-
tired, and in two minutes returned
and reported 'No Bill"
*s'F
One day last week as Major Sim
mons of Georgia was drawing off his
fish pond he discovered a very large
moccasin that had taken up his
abode in A. T. Pattillo's pond,
which adjoins Simmons. Next day
these two gentlemen concluded to go
snake hunting, and when they got
to the pond discovered his snake
ship serenely summing himself upon
bunch of grass in the pond. Sim
mons shot, and saw the snake, which
was Il very large one, fall off, and on
going to the spot saw him lying
there dead. He caught hold of it
and swung it around, just missing
Pattillo's head, when the snakes
commenced falling of, and he found
that instead of killing one he had
killed four snakes, none ofthem less
than two feet long.
*s*
81 want some preserves on my
bread" whined a boy to his mother.
"You mustn't have it, Johnny"
coaxed the mother. "That nice
butter and sugar is just the thing
for little boys"
"Wow, wow" he howled, 81 won't
have it. Taint nothin' but glucose