Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1886-06-27
A DELICATE SITUATION.

must commence this narrative with a
most painful admission-my wife is con-
firmed kleptomanic In all other respects
she is an admirable woman, though say It
who shouldn't She is beautiful-at least
in my eyes; she is comparatively young,
though perhaps she might not like me to be
too precise en- this point; she has troops OF
friends and no lack of anything that q hus-
band in comfortable circumstances and
devotedly attached to her can supply; and
yet, owing to some distressing mental disor-
der she is continually bringing home other
peoples property.
Nothing, am quite sure, could be further
from her gentle disposition that the vice OF
covetousness She does not take things be-
cause she wants them, or in order to obtain
a cheap qualification. So far as can see
she is subject merely to the same propen-
sity as the iacAdaw.
About year ago Mira Arbuthnot, an &C
quaintance of ours, lost a valuable bracelet,
which / felt quite sure Maria had taken.
But / never could find it, though searched
the mouse from top 20 bottom Mrs Arbuth-
not had her suspicious, 1 could see, and this
drove me nearly frantic, not only with
thinking of what had become Of the brace
1St, bue 1foo Win ar, W AAoScsSi - ee~~
edy for the existing state Of affairs
At last / hit upon what struck me as O
really good idea Like cures like, Iargued.
II were to introduce into the house On
other klep.on,sniac would not Maria be-
come disguised and alter her way. bad
habit in ourselves may be tolerated, but
when it crops up in others it often assumes
q most repulsive aspect and straightway
clamors for its own removal Such, at
least was my idea. l thought it worth a
trial
The first thing to be done was to secure q
genuine kleptomaniac. With this object in
view l inserted in several of the daily
papers the following advertisement:
"Wanted, u kleptomanic, who must be a
lady OF otherwise irreproachable habits and
pleasing manners; she will be required to
act as a companion to a gectleman's wife,
who is similarly afflicted; duties light; re-
enumeration literal Apply in the first in
stance to y Y. Zn-care OF a firm OF ad-
vertising agents
Imagine my surprise ut receiving fifty
seven answers 80 my advertisement, every
one of the ladies claiming to be a lady
From the nature of the case, could not
very well ask for references. Not that this
mattered much, for had enough confidence
in my own Judgment to think l could do
without them
went through the letters with great
care, putting aside all that tried to recon-
mend themselves by shameiessly describing
acts Of successful pilfering. had no hest
tation in conciui ling these ladies to be i'm
posters attracted by the salary.
There remained just five, who bashfully
said they were considered by their friends
to be kleptomaniacs, a statement which they
did not themselves indorse in any way
/ decided to interview ali five, that being
the only way by which / could discriminate
between them Accordingly, i wrote to
ask them all TO come to my house on a Ger
tain day, and added that would, Of course,
defray any travelling expenses. In order to
prevent clashing, which saw might place
me in a most unpleasant POSITION, l re-
quested ono lady to present herself punct-
ually at IL O'Clock, another at Il:30. another
at L., and SO Oh
There would be no difficulty from my
wife, Tor she was to be away from home all
that morning 1t had been arranged that a
certain Uncle Joe should escort her to an
exhibition which l had declined to attend.
When the morning in question arrived
tried to bundle Maria out Of the house with
very unconjugal haste, but notwithstand-
all my efforts her toilet required SO much
time that it was past IL O'Clock before she
drove off.
When my first visitor Miss White ap-
peared a meeker looking creature l never
saw. She was neatly dressed in black: in
figure she was tall, thin and rather angular,
and she had a pinched face, with a very
mournful expression When she first en-
tered she raised her eyes to glance at me and
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as,o,,s, lady N sae w, sir .,rorn,,a
James
aWhat room Is vacant. James, | asked
burrieily is any room vacant,
aOnIv the boudoir sirn
sTben show-yho did Won saw i. vast,
GMrs DARK. s;rn
sShow her in tbere-
Nv the time that INV fifth visitor ar,;v,,
nm event which bappene, very shortly af,rr
the arriya, Of Mrs Dark I was wei, nirb
distracted. There really was NO room for
this last woman 1 couid NO, bava to ..
them s-ossininy tocether ana rerhors 60,