The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-03-26
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JOURNALISM IN ARIZONA.

circulation of the RipsaOrter is simply
paralyzing. 1t everlastngly knocks the
almighty spots out of everything in this
section Of the country and don't forget to
remember It,
From the Boioie RMte-Evcry saloon
keeper in the burg knows that the Botcie
hmft get out more papers than any other
blanket sheet in Arizona.
From the hpnorter When the editor
of that skinilint sheet, the Bo5oie hpite
says he prints more papers than we do,
we answer that he is liar and mugwump.
We don't want to seem ungentlemanly
or severe but he is a white livered
coward and horse thief and we can lam
the bloody eye out of him in three shakes
of a pigs tail. Our fighting hour is 8 a.
m. and we can always be found at that
time in Bloody Dicks saloon, where we
have rented fighting pen and private
graveyard. All corpses buried at our
expense.
From the B0lrie Knits-That cowardly
cur, the editor of the Ripsn0rter, can talk
fight, but every one knows what kind OF
hairpin he is. Why an ordinary glass
of good bulge will knock him out, and
when be tackles dose of genuine Rocky
Mountain tanglefoot he is laid out stiff
as poker. He's the worst lop-sided,
cross-eyed, cared son of a galoot in
these diggings, and we warn him that
he'd better carry his shooting-irons with
him, for we're going to put some holes in
his car cass the first time we see him.
Our name is Two fingered Jake and we
are laying for him.
From the RipsH0rter-Two- fingered
Jake had better have some more fingers
spliced on before he lays for One-eared
Billy. We know this cur and we are com
ing down to see him. This apology for
mule hangs out at red>headed Jimmie's
place, and If the boys want to see some
fun they had better drop in there some
night. Jimmie, old man, you'd better
get your crockery down behind your
breastwofks, for well open just as soon
as We lay eyes on the galoot.
From the Ripsn0rter Written by the
Office boy A Bully Fight.--The purtiest
fight in this town ever seen sence Bloody
Dick shot Champagne Charlie was the
one where One-eared Billy, the editor of
this paper, kicked the bucket 1t was
Jest charmer.
The boys had all been warned of the
picnic, SO red-headed Jimmie's whisky
shop was full--as wuz also all the boys.
Jimmie stood behind the bar and took in
the chips and passed out the plzen, wait,
en- all the while for Two-fingered Jake to
show up. Purity soon he cum and every
one seed he was ready fer bizncss, fer he
had two colts and bowie. He stepped
up to the bar and ordered drinks for the
crowd, at the same time askin' if his
One cared Billy had been round yet.
When he wuz told he hadn't he said he
had little bzness and he guessed he d
wait for him. Just then bullet cum thro
the window and knocked JaBe's glass
outen his hand. Everybody dropped,
and as Jake cooked his revolver he said
well, he's derned perlite Teller any
way, for he sends his card in ahead of
him"
Red,headed Jimmie had dropped beN
hind his steclNplated bar fer protection,
but he put his head up once and sed:
Don't waste any shots, Jake. The
place IL purity well bunged up now and
saloon fixin's cost dust.
"All right, Jimmie" sez Jake, and then
the door opened and my boss cum in
Talk about your purity fights. Why
this WINS the finest show this town ever
see. Each on EN- got behind table and
then the sport begun. There wuzns no
bullets wasted. Every time they shot
somebody wuz hit One-eared Billie got
his tother ear taken off first blaze and
two fngured Jake lost some of
his nose. When their ammuni>
ton give out thew were car>
ryin' the bullets in their carcasses But
the best part of the show wuz when they
cum together with bowies. That wuz
just purty-no bunglin', but just artistic
carvin'. 1t does Teller good to see IL
fight where both parties understand their
bizness. When they got thro they we're
so scattered you couldn't tell which be-
longed to which. The only thing identi-
fled wuz Billie's ear and that is on exhi-
hilton at this office. The coroner de-
cided that they went up the flume by
special dispensashun of providence. He
had to sit on both sides at once becuz. as
sed, you couldn't tell which wuz which.
One.eared Billie was bully boy and a
hustler. He wuz good boss but it wuz
worth while to lose him to see such a
bully fight.