St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-07-26
SEEING THE MINISTER
A Formidable Duty Indeed to the Flavor
less-Looking Young Lover With a
Bang.
He is Not Sure Whether the Doctor Of
Divinity Made Fun Of Him or
Not.
Some NJ atters of Form That Must BE
Attended to or There Can Be No
Marriage.
cutting Down Advice so That a Train
Could be Caught -Absinthe
Cocktails
New York Times.

New York Times
The favorless- looking youth with the
Dang was Benedict of two years standing.
AS ne stood at the Hoffman house bar last
night and announced the racy fact to the
three dress-suited men with whom he had
entered. They opened their mouths in &C.
stacles of establishment, and only closed
them at the appeal of three toothsome alb
slnthe cocktails.
why not?" queried the languid youth,
as ne looked stupidity into fourth cocktail,
and then set down his glass. 1T doesn't
require much courage to get married. The
only Difficulty is making arrangements for
the all-important step and seeing the min
lster-O! my dear fellows, let me warn you
against seeing the miniSter-it'S an awful
ordeal. If it could only be used instead of
| capital punishment for the torture of GRIM
imals!'
The favorless- looking youth sighed,
drained his glass, and gaZed at his COM
panions as though he would give worlds for
| them to ask him to relate his experiences.
They resisted the mute entreaty, and he
was forced to express it in words. The re-
suit was four more absinthe cocktails, four
seats, three attentive listeners. and one in
tereSted talker, who broOked no Interrupt
| lions.
''When l married." said the Benedict,
II was even more bashful and retiring than
L am at the present moment. No, don't
say that's impossible. It's a positive fact
assure you. My bashfuineSs had been in
creaSing in proportion as my marriage day
approached. When my wife-I will call
her Carrie now, because we were not then
married-said one day. Alan, you had bet
| ter see the minister and arrange to be mar
ried at the house. almost succumbed to
the frightful possibilities it suggested. l
had hoped for quiet little semi-ciandestine
wedding in church, tranquil walk, fol-
lowed by an entrance into church and an
| exit as man and wife. Carrie dspelled my
reStful dreams.
TO BE MARRIED
in the house before prying friends and crit
lcal acquaintance and above all, to sum-
| mon minister as though he were doctor
or an undertaken, were ideas so hateful to
| my sensitive mind that | could have found
it in my heart to quail.
The night preceding my visit to the
minister passed sleeplessly. AS l tossed
about it seemed to me that the formalities
of the marriage ceremony were overwhelm-
| ing enough to disgust any delicately con-
structed couple. But | was in for it. Go
l must. l dressed hastily, went and told
Carrie what l was about to do, heard her
remark, Darling, tell him to come early,
and started forth. The reverend doctor
lived in red brick house, with green
blinds. Why do mention that? Because
my good fellows. that red house and those
green blinds are indelibly engraved upon
my memory. [ walked round them for one
hour and a half before l summoned up
| courage sufficient to enter. At last rang
the bell and was admitted by an ugly house
maid"
ministers always have ugly house
maids" interrupted one of the listeners
with dogmatic promptness.
she showed me into study and asked
| me to wait until the doctor came down
stairs. l felt as though were waiting for
dentist to extract tooth or for surgeon
| to perform an operation. There were
comic papers on the table. That minister
evidently knew that his visitors needed
cheering up. But l couldn't smile at the
comic papers. They all contained Jokes
about mothers-in-law and
HENPECKED HUSBANDS.
AS [ was angrily glazing at some of this
| lugubrious humor, [ became aware that
| little white-haired man, with spectacles
and black. clothes, was standing before me-
| He was smiling. l thought compassion
was mingled with his risible expression. [
| bluShed to the roots of my hair and re-
manned las the French say planted there"
The flavOrless youth took long draught
| of abSnthe and cleared his throat before he
| resumed. 1.-The doctor saw my embarrass-
| ment, We'll, my friend, he said, what
can do for you?' He made matters ten
times harder to cleal up.
9 Sir said L. with a CHASTITY smile, I
| need your services-yes l do really do
very badly
"'Ah! Well. I am always ready to help
any man. 1t is my mission. am here for
that purposep Then he looked at me again,
waiting. l suppose. for some commence
ment. | looked at him, more crimson than
| ever.
THE facti is, doetor-well-or it's rather
delicate NATTER stammered in the most
| hopelessly idiotic way, L want-er-to-er
be married.
He never smiled. He was as perfectly
| grave as though [ had told him | wanted to
be buried. What he would do L could not
guess. l was soon to know. First he
called to secretary in an adjoining room
for blanks; secondly, he took the blanks
| from the
YOUNG MANS HANDS
and sat down; thirdly and lastly, he smiled
| in what now know he meant to be a re-
assuring manner. just few formalities,
he began: Your name you say is Alan
| Dale. Well, there is no reason why it
shouldn't be. Your age?'
81 was only 81 and hated to say it. I
| wOuld have piyap 400 for q ful1 hoard of
that moment. 1 mentally cursed my hir-
suite backwardness. 4 am of age, doctor,
l said feebly. L should think that was all
you needed to know
''What age?" asked the doctor placidly.
| Nineteen" Don't mind me, you know, any
more than you would your medical adviser.
| Twenty-One? All, that's nice age. At
| twenty-one a young mans fancy lightly
| turns, ETC.; and now, Mr.. Dale, how many
times have you been married before"
Il gasped in amazement. That | should
have lived to hear minister. ridiculing a
holy institution, for that he was ridiculing
felt more than certain. 4 don't under
stand You, DOCTOR said Indignantly; L
didn't come here to amuse you; l came
because | was obliged
40, it's formalitv,' said the doctor
grayely, but thought l saw a twinkle in
HIS eye. Lou HuSI answer OF can
marry you. Look here at this blank.
| Number of grOom's marriage. Now, shall
we say second or third? Don't mind me,
as l said, any than you would your
MEDICAL ADVISER.
couldn't keep it if you told me it was
your tenth marriage, you know. / might
feel little grieved for you. Such is my
| sympathetic nature
ITO this day do not know whether he
was joking. l think he must have been,
bnt he looked So fearfully solemn and cleri-
| cal that [ have my doubts. This is my
first marriage l said with gurgie in my
| throat, and he wrote 1t down.