The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1886-07-31
SnOb Snubbing.

"YoU can never wear those boots out, y
| said a shoemaker. Then | don't want
| them, replied the customer; do YOU sup
pose want boots to wear in the house?"
but, Marie, 1 thought you despised Mr.
Slimson?" $50 / do" "Then what did
you marry him for?" $50 that he would
stay out evenings, and not hang abo ut m
all the time"
CONVERSATION in a seaside hotel be-
tween a young man and an elderly guest
Young Man: Il must have seen You some
where, sir?" Elderly Gent: Very likely; 1
am pawnbroker.
A YOUNG gentleman in the country re-
Gently sent twenty-five stamps to Boston
for method of writing without pen or ink
He received the following instructions, in
large type, on card: write with a
pencil"
AN ill-bred English squire, wishing to
annoy the Rev. Sidney Smith, said to him:
IF [ had a son who was an idiot I'd make
a parson of HIM" @Indecdl" retorted the
| wit; your fathec seems to have been of q
different mind"
WHAT you want" said the barber, as
he ran his fingers through the few remain
ing hairs on the head of a customer, "wL at
you want is bottle of my hair restorer F"
What | want" replied the customer, "is a
| divorce" And the barber said no more.
ROARING swell arrives early at the party.
Several men but not many women visible
Swell approaching Miss Coolhead) Jaw,
great bor'ah. Very few gentlemen pres
emit" Miss Coolhead docking inquiringlv
| around -"Yes; in fact, | do not see even
one"
A FRENCH officer said to Swiss Colonel,
How is it that your countrymen always
fight for money, while we French always
fight for honor" The Swiss shrugged his
shoulders and replied, 81 suppose it is be-
cause people are apt to fight for that which
they need most"
"WHY, Mr.. R." said q tall youth to a
little person, who was in company with
half a dozen huge men, 81 protest YOU are
so very small that ! did not see you before. :"
Very likely" replied the little gentleman;
Il am like sixpence among six copper
pennies-not easily perceived, but worth
the whole of them"
THEY had been engaged to be married
fifteen years, and still he had not mustered
up resolution enough to ask her to name
the happy day. One evening he called in
particularly spoony frame of mind, and
asked her to sing something that would
move" him. She sat down at the piano
and sang, Darling, | am growing old"
PROFESSOR Ito lazy STUDENT: "You tell
me you have made no failures in life thus
far?" Student: at is true" Professor
(musingly): 1T is singular, very singular,
with such a disposition. cannot account
for it" Student IL can" Professor: "Pray
tell me the reason?" Student (cheerfuly):
Il never attempted to succeed, you know. "
He (of the "masher" persuasien)- "WilI
you have the goodness -to play-some-
thing-eh?" She-"With pleasure What
shall | play?" He-"Oh, anything you like,
don't you know? For my part, I'm awful
ly sweet on something sympathetic, and all
that sort of thing" She-"Ah, yes-some-
thing 'soft-eh?" Fortunately his com
prehension was not of the quickest, or he
might have felt draught"
He came up little late, stepped in with
out ringing, and striding softly into the
paIlor, dropped into an easy-chair with the
careless grace of a young man who is ac-
customed TO the programme "By Jovel" he
said to the figure sitting in dim obscurity
on the sofa; "by Jove! | thought / was
never going to see you again. Your mother
never goes away from the house now-a-
days, does she, Minnie? "Well, not very
frequently" cheerfully replied the old lady
from the sofa. "Minnie's away SO much of
her time now | have to stay in ;"