The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-04-16
Hopplebofer's Experiment.

While Hoppleboffer was waiting for
his turf to be shaved in a Clark street
barber shop, the other day. he picked
up a newspaper. and the first thing his
eye landed upon was this:
mo matter how busy a man ma be
he should find time every day to tell his
wife that he loved her."
Hopplebofer dropped the paper and
went to musing OF the golden past.
Visions of beauty fitted before him and
made him sigh that the wheels of tina
should whirl so rapidly. Once more
he was a young man, living on hope
and six dollars a week, sparkling his
wife, and swearing to love her until the
mountains sank into the sea. One by
one the buried years were resurrected,
and the joys and sorrows of each were
dwelt upon.
Just then the barber shouted "Next!"
and Hopplcboller reused up with a
start and got into the chair.
The mar of CAB said it was a nice
day, but H~opplebofacr needed him not.
The towel went under his chin and
the lathcr Went on to his face, and the
sable man who bent over him minated
that it looked n good deal like rain. but
Hopplcbolfcr was too deep in thought
to heed him.
So the barber lathercd and scraped
him in silence, and H~opplebofer went
right on with his musing.
He was trying to remember the last
time he had told his wife that he loved
her.
He couldn't do it.
But after a long mental tussle he made
up his mind that he would do better in
the future, and blurted out:
'l'll do it! l will, by George!"
whats that sirp" said the barber.
stopping suddedly. with the razori in the
air.
Hoppleboffer blushed through tho
lather, and said it didn't matter. He
had been Eliminating on the newspaper
paragraph, and was resolved that he
would put its teaching into actual prac-
tice from that day forward.
He would turn over a new leaf. and
make his wife's heart bound with iov.
He would tell her that she was dear to
him, and watch the roses bloom in her
checks again.
The thought was delicious, and made
him feel as though he had none in
every pocket.
Let us see how the old man prosper
ed in the undertaking.
When Ho%pplebotfer got home his
wife had just been having a noisy matt
nee with the hired girl, about something
that hadn't been done to suit her, and
She was just about mad enough to leave
the prints of her teeth in cold iron.
She bounced into the sitting-room
just as he entered, and threw herself
into a chair with an emphasis that made
the windows rattle and broke a spring
III the upholstery.
H%opplebofler was too much taken up
with his new idea to notice her excite
ment, so he walked up to her side,
chucked her softly under the chin, and,
as he stopped to kiss her, said quite ten
derby:
MY dear. l love YOU
Simon Henry!' said she, in tones
as cherries as the dumping of a load
of coal, don't be q fool!"
"But. my dear"
Don't you dare to dear me. You've
been drinking again. Oh! you old rep
rebate! Amt you ashamed of your
self9 AS though 1 hadn't trouble
enough already. but that you must
you're mistaken, my love, L.
Not another word!" exclaimed the
excited woman, with swapping eyes, as
she stamped her foot. You're a beast;
that's just what you are! A good-for-
nothing drunken beast!"
H~opplebof1er tried to slip his arm
around her waist and pull her on his
knee. She tore herself away from him
and grabbed a chair, which she raised
in a threatening manner, as she shout
ed:
keep away from me, you nasty sot,
or you'll get hurt"
I'm not drunk, my dear"
You are"
II ANTI haven't tasted a drop"
whats the matter with you then?
Amt you got no sense at alp"
why don't you let me tell YOU"
Tell me whatp'
That love you"
stop right there! don't want any
more of that! You make me sick. l
won't let you nor any other bald-hcad-
ed old idiot make fun of me to my face.
Go right over tc the grocery this min
ute. and get me a beefstcak for sup
per!'$
Hopplcboffer turned sadly away and
went out, with his heart beating with a
dragging motion Chicago Ledger.
A Bad Engagement.