Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-07-23


\ New Preston young man playing in
kissing game the other night, kissed
one of the buXom maidens so hard that
she broke his false teeth. bridgeport
StdHdaTd.
Mr.. Moses Rachel, put der
emerald, under der green umbrellas in
der won't yinder. It's Saint Batrick' ;
day and We cot to be patriotic. Vas
sagSt du? -Edmblcr.
docs your son affect any particular
school OF art?' asked the visitor. NO
-yes-wcll, he's painting Beladonna
for the religious art gallery, replied
the fond mother. -Er.
Winifrcd a little 5-year-old girl, hap
pcncd one day TO see her maiden aunt
take out her teeth and brush them.
How old must | be, auntie, said she,
"bcforc can do that?'-BoSt0R record.
Boggs II see that blind people are
educated now by means of raised let
tiers. Fogg That nothing. Why,
bank cashiers are often educated by
means of raised checks. - Chicago
H0m5icr.
seholdcr-"What do YOU want
here? Work. Needy but naughty So
cialist-"No; ! can yet more work than
| know what to do with. Iwant little
beer or its equivalent in coin. '-Brook-
lyn Eaglc.
Are YOU fond of looking at the
stars?' asked Bromley of De Guy.
well, yes" answered that engaging
young man, sometimes. but rs rule the
chorus is good enough for me. "-I9tiia-
dcIPhia CaH
y ladies reading club has spent over
"Romola." 4 few days ago one of its
members asked her husband who wrote
"Romola She hadn't heard at the
lub.-Tr0y Times.
Teacher-"Now, Master Kirby. YOU
should be more correct in your compost
ton. You say: i love school. Now
school cannot be loved. Can't YOU use
a more correct cNpression?' Master
Kirby hate school. '-Itd-BttS.
Visitor What. YOU burn Kerosene?
That's odd" Director of Gas company
-"Great Scott, YOU didn't suppose we
could afford TO burn gas. did YOU? No,
sir; we are no fools The meter is no
mystery TO H.. We are in the business. y
a Cotton citizen tied one end of a rope
around hi, waist the other day, while he
lassoed Il Texas steer with the other. He
thought he had the animal. but at the
end OF the first l0O-yard heat he found
that the steer had him.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
Judge Indignantly These sums
which You stole, fruits of long years of
honest work, You squandercd in wretch
ed foolcries. Prisoner with emotion)
u could not keep that money. 1t
weighed too much on my conscience. -
Paris Figaro.
A large crowd had gathered on
Broadway, and seven policemen were
cndcayoring to dispense 1t. II kin make
them fcllcrs move on sand small
boy. Then he shouted. Mad dog and
four OF the seven policemen were badly
injured in the rout that followed. y
Sun.
Can anybody tell me what game
constable is?' asked the obituary editor.
IL see they have an official with that
title in Rochester, y. Y" That must
be the officer who has to be seen by the
gamblers desiring police protection" re-
sponded the snake editor. PttsJurg
Chronicle.
The child of the period: Mr.. Cold
cash-"Well, little Esse, aren't YOU GO
ing to kiss your unclc?' Essic Gage y
NO, indeed, I'm not" Mr.. Cold
cash-"And why not, little darling?"
Essic-"Becausc there's your wife look
ing on, and | don't want TO make trouble
in the family" Chicago Rambicr.
Father, what is deadlock" asked
Johnny, who had been reading the
Washington dispatches. Johnny's
father believed in answering promptly
all questions proceeding from his Off
spring, and he answered Immediately:
~ deadlock, my son. is what your
mothers back hair j. made Of"
| have under my control some choice
farms and farming lands for sale. that
for the six months sell at price that
] shall be able To dify competition i'm
Gratiot county. BERT WOODWARD.
Alma. Mich
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.
Notice is hereby given that sealed proposnls