Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-05
BRIGHT BITS.

DID 1T ever occur 10 you what . funny
thing postage stamp isf Even the depart
ment can't sell it after they cancel it.-Ep-
change.
OAKLAND, CAL, has passed an ordinance
maxi ing 1t misdemeanor for any one under
slxteen TO SMOKE cigarettes there. This is q
move in the hight direction, but the age
should he put at siHty.--DstreSt Stee press.
IN PHILADELPHIA-Miss Hi9hsec.ety--
Would 1 be pleased to have yqH hring Mr..
Van knnger, OF New Yore; to call? First tell
they were all well when he left."-- I'D Bits.
GEORGE w. CABLE, the novelist. while ad-
dressing Sunday school recently, said: Il
have five children at home, and half OF them
are girls" ''That's lie said one OF the little
fellows; but Gable replied that 1t wasn't, for
the other half were girls Also Christian as
Rork,
A PLAYWRIGHT with a manuscript in his
pocket went through the Belfast riot and was
shot At, but not hurt, the ball being unable TO
go through the manuscript. HIS tragedy
enough left to go beyond the fourth act.-TAs
Beacon.
MISS SPRIGGINs wears such hdeous clothes,
| wonder where she gets themY' said a mat
ron at Long Branch.
why, don't you knowP" exclaimed Miss
Pourke, of Cincinnati. "Her clothes are
made at home. She's some of that Chicago
dressed meat you read of ."-PtttS6ur0 ChroTa-
icle.
DIDN'T Care to be Preserved.--A we'll
dressed countryman stopped at the entrance
of the Petroleum Exchange, on lower Broad
way, and gazed inside with considerable in
terest. A broker on the lookout for commits
sions said to him cordially:
Are you in oil, sr?'
NO mister" said the countryman, moving
away, "l'm no ssrdine ."-Hdrper's Bd=ar.
HE Wanted to Arriye.-Clerk ito seedy
room?
S. S.-No.
Clerk-Dinner, SUPPOSED
3. S.-Not at all. [ only wanted to arrive.
It's good many years since have arrived at
a hotel, and If you've no objection will simply
arrive. Good morning.-TeoaS Siftings.
"FRoM the Queens speech judge that Vic
toria has informed herself on the standing of
the English nobility" remarked the snake
editor.
~ didn't see any reference to the nobility"
replied the horse editor.
Didn't your Didn't you see how she ad-
dressed Parliament as My Lords ana Gentle
men, carefully separating the latter from the
former."- Pffts6Ur0 Chronicle.
SENATOR VOORHEES, says he does not want
the Vice Presidency. If that Is the case, and
It is deemed proper to give the nomination to
Indiana again. why not offer it to Joseph K.
Mcdonald once morep That would not only
keep Uncle Joe OF the track for the other
Office, but would give the Hoosiers another
opportunity to send a delegation to the ma
tiOnal convention instructed for Joseph and
constructed for somsbody else.-- Chfcdg, Neass.
No TRoUBLE.-"Do you have much trouble
IN getting your children to take medicinef'
said Mrs. Green, addressing Mrs Black.
"None at all."
"How did you manage it?''
Nv ell. for Instance, when want my bow to
take castor oil. pour the oil into glass and
say, Here, Tom, drink this; but YOU needn't
ask for any more Then he drinks it with
apparent relish, believing that am not anx-
ious for him to take it. He always asks for
more. Oh, no; it is no trouble to get my chill
dren to take medicine. ~ rkansaao 1raeelLer.