davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
HUMOROUS.


"A Nebraska farmer says that acres
and acresof corn are growing thisyear
without ears. 1t is probably tired OF
hearing about low prices. = ~ 0.
PicGyure.
81 thank heaven that my hair
does not turn gray" said Jones.
Quite a remarkable case of uDdye-
ing gratitude returned Smith
Merchant 1raueler. ,.s..f
-"rm looking for employment"
said young man, entering mer-
chants Office. "You are, hey? Well,
yoa'll find it in the dictionary over
there-er among the E's."-TTd-Bits-
80, Why Should They Bury Me
Deep?" is the title of some verses sent
to this Office by Minnesota poetess.
After reading the poem the reason
seems clear enough to us.--Estetttne
Bell 5,.ff
Little boy Cat table)-"Pa, give
me some bread" Father-"My son,
you must remember that older folks
have the preference. Little bOy-'1
don't want any preference; ! want
biscuit. "--Detr0I Free Press.
"A three-year-old discovered a
neighbours hens scratching in the gar
den. In a most indignant tone she re-
ported to her mother that the hens
from next door were "wiping their
feet on our grass. ''-LoWeU Courier.
The american Anqler asks: "Do
Holsters shrink in boiiing?" No, neVerE
They don't shrink until they are made
up into salad, and then they shrink so
much that you can not for the life OF
you tell whether they have eyaporated
or turned into lettuce. Puck
-Thirtv-two hundred babies are
born in the United States every day,
but man never thinks of the other
thirty-one hundred and ninety-nine
when he is confined in railroad car
with cherub that wants to see if it is
possible to howl louder than the engine
can whistle.
Woman Ito magistrate) ''Mg
husband has left me, sorr, an / want
to make charge agin him for desar-
ton" Magistrate is the proper
course to pursue, madame. Is he your
first husband?" Woman-"No, sorr,
ne IS my Inlru. magistrate (WnO
spends his afternoons at the Polo
Grounds)-"Ah, yes, l see; got left on
third"
in crossing one of the forks of the
Old Mans river, Canada, a boat, built
to accommodate two, but into which
fifteen men had been crowded, sank in
the middle of the stream. In the party
was an old man named Hays, who, it
was supposed, could not swim, and
Immediately the shout was raised:
"Save old Hays, save old Hays" But
Hays retorted: Save yourselves, ye
dtyils; I'm going ashore" And he
went ashore.
Last week an explosion of over
two tons of powder ont West shook the
whole city, and wrecked every thing in
the neighborhood. When the explo-
sion occurred a deaf old lady, who
lived about a block away, pricked up
her ears and said: "Come' in" She
then turned smiling to htr daughter,
and exclaimed: Law me- do believe
I'm getting back my hearing. heard
that knock at the door as plainly as
ever heard any thing in my life. y
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
A Blow at the Irish Delegates.

New YORK, Sept. THE Worlds Lon.
don special cable says: ut is announced
that Mr.. Edwin de Lisle has intimated his
intention OF introducing bill next session
to disqialify any subject of the Queen
from being elected to Parliament who
shall receive, directly or indirectly, for
eign or alien pecuniary assistance for
political assistance rendered or to be
rendered, and to disaualify for period OF
years from being elected, or, if elected,
from sitting in Parliament, any subject OF
the Queen who shall attend, promote or
support any foreign or alien convention
for the avowed or implied purpose OF rec
ommending a policy or candidates to
electors of the united kingdom"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10


IN the Fourth Iowa district on the 9th
the Democrats nominated G. W. Earle for
Congressman.
THERE were no further developments of
an alarming nature on the 9th at Charles
ton, and the excitement was abating.
Business had been resumed. It was be
lieved that 10000 or 10000 persons were
sheltered by tents. Aid was being liberal
ly subscribed throughout the, country .or
the sufferers.
On the 9th the thirty-fourth Illinois State
Fair began in Chicago.
CHIEF GERONIMO and other Indian capt
ives arrived at Fort Bowie, A. T., on the
9Th, in charge of General Miles command
An ice famine prevailed in nearly all
Dakota towns on the 9Th, the hot weather
having exhausted the supply.
The Republicans of Las Vegas have
chosen j. w. Dryer as Congressional dele
gate for New Mexico
THE trade and labor demonstrations,
general throughout the country on the 9th,
were very large and imposing. The pa
rade in Chicago comprised about twenty
thousand persons, and the same number
we're in line in New York, Brooklyn and
Boston In Chicago the bricklayers re-
ceived the first prize, for the largest turn-
out, and the printers the second prize, for
the noatest display.
AT the State election in Arkansas on the
9Th P. FL. Hughes for Governor and his as
sociates on the Democratic ticket were
elected by an estimated majority of
twenty thousand The Legislature would
also be Democratic.
The attendance upon the opening of
the Iowa State Fair, at Des Moines on the
9th, was unusually large.
AT Columbia. S. c., another earthquake
shock was felt at 1:07 o'clock p m on the
9th, accompanied by the usual roaring
sounds. No damage was-done.
AT Evansville, Ind, ON the night of the
9th another severe shock of earthquake
was felt The shock sounded like an ex-
plosion of dynamite
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
LATER.

FURTHER adv;ces of the 7th state that
the recent cyclone in West India was
nearly thirty miles wide, and the whole
OF the southern portion of the island was
laid waste. Five churches, mission
house and three hundred dwelling-houses
were blown down and many more badly
damaged. A rumber of persons were
killed and thirty or more injured
AT the Vermont State election on the
18th the Republican candidates for Govern
or and Congressman were elected Re.
turns indicated that Senator Edmunds had
a majority of the Republicans elected to
the Legislature.
IT was officially announced on the 7th
that Judge Thomas C. Manning, OF Lou.
isiana, had been appointed to succeed
United States Minister Jackson to Mexico.
THE cholera returns from Italy on the
9TH were: Ferrara, 90 cases, II deaths
Putignaus, 1scases, is deaths; San Marco,
Is cases, 9 deaths; other districts IS cases,
81 deaths.
EARTHQUAKE shocks were felt on tie 18th
in Greece
h WILLIAM BAXTER, ex- United States Sen
ator and Congressman, aged sixty five
years, and author. of the famous Baxter
temperance law, died on the 18th at Rich
mond, Ind.
THE first race in the intern ational yacht
ing contest for the Americas cup was
sailed on the 9TH at New York, the Boston
sloop Mayfower defeating the British cut
ter Galatea. The distance was tnirty-eight
miles.
r ANOTHER small earthquake shock was
felt on the morning of the It'll at Charles
ton, S. G., and two shocks wers felt at
Augusta, Ga.
der the leadership of the famous Coyote,
seized Ell Pana on the 18th and began war
against the Diaz Government.
WHILE tearing down building in In
dianapolis on the 9TH four men were fatal
ly injured by the fall of tier of joists,
and seventeen Others were badly hurt
THE California Legislature reconvened
at Sacramento on the 9TH.
ADyIcEs of the 9TH say that damage to
the amount of 81. OO0,0 900 had been done in
Paris and its environs by hail storm.
By the explosion of steam boiler on the
9TH at Luneeville, France, five men were
killed and seven injured.
The New York State Anti-saloon Repub-
lican convention for the appointment of
delegates to the National convention to bs
held in Chicago met at Binghamton on the
9TH. The platform adopted disapproves of
third party, demands that the Repub-
lican party take firm and decided stand
IN favor of temperance and against the
saloon, and fayOrS the STh1niSs of a CON-
stltutional amendment relative 10 liquor
selling to the people of the entire State
and local option to the several counties,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

AN important addition has recent
" been made to the unarmored fleet of
the English navy by the completion for
sea of The new twin screw composite
gnn-vessel Swallow. The Swallow is
the largest gun-yessel ever built for the
royal navy, and has displacement of
one thousand and forty tons and a
length of one hundred and ninety-five
feet. She is equipped with eight five
inch steel breech-loading guns, mount
ed on Vayasseur fittings, with four
torty-live inch Gardner machine guns
and four one-inch Nordenfelt guns
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

A DREDGING machine at work in
Savannah harbor has struck an ancient
wreck, which, from the fastening of
her timbers and the character of the
arms recovered, was war vessel of
the last century. 1t is said that during
the war of the revolution a British line
of-battle ship chased Spanish corvette
into the harbor and that the crew of
the smaller vessel scuttled her to es-
cape capture.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

GIRLS will please take notice that a
Kentucky court has decided that when
a girl refuses to marry her lover she
must return all his presents, on the the
DRY that they were only "keepsakes" in
case he had the girl for keeps. OF
course says a Chicago paper, kisses
and peanuts and such perishable goods
are not affected by the decision.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
German Military Items.


Corporal to Soldier Why is the
blade of the saber curved instead Of
straight
Soldier-1t is curved in order to give
more force to the blow.
Corporal -Humbugl The saber is
curved so it win fit the scabbard. If
it was straight how could you get it
into The crooked scabbard, blockhead?
'tYou sit on your horse like butch
er, said pert young officer, who hap
pened to be of royal blood. to vet
eran General who was somewhat bent
from age.
'1t is highly probable" responded
the old warrior, with grim smile; 1T
is because all my life I've been leading
calves to the slaughter. SeAGIk.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

The American Association for the
Advancement of Science, at its recent
scssionin Buffalo, listened to a paper
by Prof r. S. Woodward, of Washing
ton, on 1.-The Rate Of Recession of
Niagara Falls" The professor said
that the area of the rock worn away at
tho Horseshoe Falls between the years
1912 and 1875 was 1880 square feet,
equal to .425 acres; between 1876 and
1886, $4,000 square feet, or 1.37 acres.
The main length of the contour of the
falls is 1890 feet. Time required to re-
Cede one mile at this rateis 1920 years,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

DR.. FRIsCH, of the Vienna Poly
clinic, who was sent to Paris to study
Pasteur's method of incubation, re-
ports that his three months expert
ments have convinced hin. that the in
EQUATIONS are. no preventive against
hydrophobia. This report, which has
been submitted to the Vienna Academy
of Sciences, has created quite sensa-
4;oc
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

NorHING like thoroughness, and
some of the sharpers in Buffalo appear
TO have that acutely developed. Ac-
cording to the local press, young
farmer attending recent fremen' S Gel
ebration fell asleep one night in one of
the parks, and when he awoke his hat,
coat, cane, watch, chain and money
were all missing.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

A PITTSBURGH woman has recently
been granted divorce from her hus-
band after the application had been
sixteen years under legal advisement
and in the courts. In view of this pre-
cedcnt people who want to get divorces
in Pittsburgh had better hle their APP
phcations ten years before they are
married,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

The Supreme Court of Oregon holds:
''ln order to convict a person of the
oifense of selling oleomargarine, or of
offering the same for sale, unless the
same shall be plainly marked so as
10 establish its true characteristic, it is
not necessary, under the Oregon law,
to prove any overt act of offering it for
sale in an unidentified condition. The
mere possession of it, and placing it in
n store with other articles held for sale,
are held to be sufficient to warrant a
jury in finding that the same was of
fered for sale"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

The famous Village Improvements
Society of Stockbridge, Mass, has just
successfully completed its thirty fifth.
year. 1t has during the year planted
trees, helped sprinkle streets, kept the
paths clear IN winter and preserved
order in walks. But its best use seems
to be the encouragement of private en-
terprise and the inspiration of public
authorities. 90
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

AN insured message once reached a
New York firm containing the single
word mo" Notwithstanding the ex-
ira precaution of insuring the telegram
dt should have read EYES," and to this
day the error has never been satisfac-
torily explained. ~r%
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

HERR SCHMIDT, an accomplished
German horticulturist, who was some
time ago sent to East Africa to intro
duce the cultivation of European
kitchcn-garden vegetables and corn,
reports that after repeated trials the
experiment has completely failed.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

THE first anti-slavery man sent to
the United States Senate on that issue
is still living. Joseph Cilley is the
man, and he remains on his old family
homestead at Nottingham, N. H. He
is ninety-six years old.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

i LITTLE tornado whirled through
Goldsboro, N. c., the other day, and,
finding the front door Of fine resi-
dence open, dashed into the house,
gathered up lot of furniture, burst
open a rear door and flung the whole
lot in heap in the back yard.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
A Terrible Revenge.

WEsT UNION, Ia, Sept. 7.-Henry Smith,
e German, aged nineteen years. killed an
old farmer, Abram Peek, with knotted
club. He also fatally injured Mrs. Peek
and seriously wounded A. Leonard by
shooting them with a pistol. The only
reason given for thedeed is a quarrel about
pay for work done.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
Geronimo at Fort Bowie.

WILCOX. A. T., Sept 7.-General Miles
arrived at Fort Bowie Sunday night with
Geronimo. Natchez and several bucks as
prisoners. Captain Layton, with the rest
OF the hostiles. numbering thirty-fve, is
expected Wednesday.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
---s-o
Undesirable Immigrants.

LONDON. Sept. THE Greek gypsies
who We're refused transportation to the
United States by all the steamer lines have
left England by the way of Hull and gone
to Hamburg, whence they intend to secure
passage to America
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
A Young Ladv,s Terrible Death,

AnnTYyILLE, L. l., Sept. 7.---Miss Emma
Hubbard, aged sixteen, started on Sunday
to lead her fathers horse to a brook on
the farm. Later her lifeiess body, terribly
mangled, was found beside the brook. 1t
is thought that the horse became vicious.
tore her throat open with his teeth and
tramped upon her.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

THE Boston Young Mems Christian
Union during the summer undertook
to give carriage drives to the sick.
Near y fourteen hundred persons were
helped in this way.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
The Bell Telephone Suit.

WASHINGTON, Sept. 1.-The argument in
the Bell telephone suit at Columbus, o..
viii begin September 20. and the Govern
ment's case viii be presented By Messrs.
Thurman, Lowery and Chandler,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

ROBERT H. TODD, master builder
of Milwaukee, was fatally assaulted
the other day by an insane son, who
recently escaped from an asylum in
Illinois.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

IT is estimated that the scarcity of
shore fish in Nantucket this year will
entail loss on, that community of
800, 900.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
Natural Gas Giving Out in PITTSBURGH

PITTSBURGH, Pa, Sept. 4.-There was a
shortage in the supply OF natural gas on
the South side yesterday, and several
factories suspended opera lions and pri-
waite consumers were obliged to eat cold
meats Some people attribute the de-
crease in the flow TO the earthquake and
officials OF the company are now investi-
eating the cause
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

1T is stated that muskrats occasion
$4,000 damage to the Erie canal every
veal
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
Terrible Fall of Coaching Party in
Pennsylvania.

KINGSTON, Pa, Sept. "A pleasure par
ty OF six persons, who left Pottsville in
tally-ho coach for ride over Blue mount
ain, were precipitated into deep rayine
near here last night. The coach turned
over and was wrecked. Passers-by heard
groans from the ravine and organized a
sea rching party. Upon overturning the
coach it was found that John Williams
and George Crooks were killed and Charles
Murphy, Kate Clayton and Carrie Holden
fatally injured. The coach is a complete
wreck, and lie horses were badly injured
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10
IN ILLINOIS AND MISSOURI.

ST.. LOUIS, Sept. 2.-Dispatches from in
terror towns adjacent to this city in Illi-
nois and Missouri are coming in giving
brief accounts OF the earthquake Tuesday
night. The shock caused buildings to
rock, bells to ring and created general
CONSERVATION.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-09-10

General Observance Throughout the Coun-
try of the National Labor Holiday
Working-men Turn Out in Great Num-
beers and Parade the Streets of Various
Los Angeles daily herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1884-1890, 1886-07-17
WASHINGTON.
A Fight Between Two
Congressman.
NEBRASKA AGAINST INDIANA.
The House Passes a Pension Bill
Over President Cleveland's
Veto.
WASHINGTON.


Ispeciai TO the Herald bv the Associated Press.
WASHINGTON, July l0.-Quite a sen.
sation was created in the House this af-
ternoon by personal encounter be-
tween Representatives Cobb. of lndi-
ana, aud Laird, Of Nebraska. The lat
ter gentleman called the other a liar.
Witnesses say that Cobb declared that
Laird did not dare to come outside and
repeat hia language. Laird is said to
have replied that the gentleman could
not get out soon enough for him. With
this the pair started into the lobby and
to the basement. Payson followed and
succeeded In getting Cobb to retrace his
steps as far as tho west door Of the lob
by, Laird following. The alteration
was resumed and Laird struck Cobb q
heavy blow on the mouth and nose. A
stream Of blood trickled dowd Cobb's
face, aud he was thrown backward
against the doorway. The crowd which
had congregated interposed at this iunct-
ure and the combatants we're separated.
The opinion is expressed in some quar-
ters that the House Of Representatives
has been outraged by the affray. and that
it is fitting subject for investigation by
that body. A minority Of tho members
who are disposed to talk about the mat
ter hold that as the encounter did not
OCCUR on the floor the House is in no
wise concerned in the affair.
Los Angeles daily herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1884-1890, 1886-07-17
aEFoRmAToRIEs.


Conference OF the society OF
Charities and Corrections.
ST. PAUL, July l6.--In the Confer
enee of the Society Of Charities and
Corrections this morning DR.. W. b.
Fletcher, of indianapolis, declared that
the great obstacle In his State was the
political prejudice against reform inSti'
tutions. The great end to be obtained
is the reform of habits and knowledge
Of industrial pursuits.
Mrs. Hendricks, widow Of the late
Vice President, being asked to speak,
deputed Mrs. Kelley, Superintendent OF
the woman's Keformatory Of Indian
apolis. She gave good and interesting
description Of the work OF the institu-
tion. 1t was necessary to keep women
employed in sewing and needlework.
Judge Follet, of the Supreme Court
OF Ohio, read . report from the
state superintendent stating that
the law of Ohio prohibiting chill.
dren undcr l6 years Of age from be-
ing placed in infirmaries was not fully
observed because no penalty was at
tached.
The report Of the Commlttee on Re
ports from States, read by Gen. r. Bren-
kenhoff, Of Ohio, stated that no new
State boards Of public charities have
been formed. There Is steady growth
of provision for the insane and q ten
dency to diminish restraint and repres-
sion. There is general need for furth.
ar provision for the custody and care Of
idiots, feeble-minded children and for
prison work.
Judge Pendergast, Of Chicago said that
there were more insane persons in
Cook County than in any county
of the United States outside Of New
York. Formerly patients deemed insane
were placed in the common jail awaiting
treatment and were subject to brutal
treatment by the inmates. Brutality
was avoided by the establishment Of q
sort Of preliminary detention asylum.
one. third Of those brought there having
been discharged cured before trial. He
advocated that such plans should be
established everywhere prior to commit
ment in an asylum.
Hon. II. FL. Gillis, Of Wisconsin, spoke
on the duties of State Boards. The gen
eral sentiment is that they should be
advisory rather than have power.
In the afternoon session Mrs. Marsh,
Of Chicago, spoke on the care Of home.
less girls. The industrial school in Chi
cogo was the only one in the State.
The plan Of the Institution was to take
these children and instruct them in such
useful branches Of education as will
make them self-supporting and sslf-re-
specting until they arrive at the age Of
is. She regretted that the age was not
extended to 81.
At the evening session Bishop Ireland
delivered an address on the system Of
charities Of the Catholic church.
Bishop Ireland read an elaborate
paper showing the system to be
principally embodied in the religious or
ders OF the church, monastic aud other
wise, of which the underlying principles,
love Of God and neighbor. are the origin
Of all true charity.
Judge Pendergrast Of Chicago read 9
paper on the care Of dependent children,
urging the necessity Of religious training
and advocating the method pursued in
Illinois, based upon that Of England, for
State and for private instotions.
Los Angeles daily herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1884-1890, 1886-07-17

CHICAGO. July i6.-The Burlington
and Missouri road having given notice
Of withdrawal from the Colorado Rail-
way Association, the managers of the
lines In that organization met to-day to
sec what could be done to save the pool.
The Central Pacific hsuls into Colorado,
sugar. canned goods and mining ma
chinery at cut rates. while the Missouri
river roads are compelled to charge tariff
rates and report to the pool. Chicago
and eastern merchants have been shut
out of the Colorado and Utah market.
This caused the Burlington's and Mis-
souri's withdrawal. The managers to.
day concluded to revise the pool aud
leave the articles mentioned outside SO
that in the future Chicago will be ON an
equal footing with the Pacific Coast
The committee was at work on the revis.
ion Of the pool all day to-day aud will
report the result to the managers to-mor.
rQW