The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-09-22
BRIC-A-BRAC.
)ld YOU ever sec a walking matchY

1t is now very fashionable TO have q sun
Drowned face.
BE brief in discourse, for what is prolix
cannot be pleasing.
The most manifest sign of wisdom Is
continued C~hccrfulncss.
A character can DC blackcncd by a shrug
of the shoulders.
Never get discouraged because things get
on slowly.
The dentists arc pulling through these
hard times.
An enemy is u teacher who costs us
nothing,
A fine qucstion-Fivc dollars or go to
Jail?
1t is worse than a lyc to hold out false
soaps to Il friend.
The broken Tyre IS q frequent and not in
appropriate emblem of the funeral Of u pol
itiCian.
There is an amateur 'Indian show" In
the Fourth Ward. Now, boys, find out
where it is.
Pure Rubber Boys Sings are adver-
tiscd. But why should pure rubber boys
want slings?"
The tramp can quote Shakespeare for
his purpose. Ills little life is rounded
with a club"
This is something l have just dashed
oil" said the farmers wife rs she took the
butter from the churn.
The earth seems to have recovered from
its attack Of subtcrrancous collie, and we
hope it may never have another spell.
If there is any one who should he
trapped in slumbcr' it is the mar who
SHORES.
1t matters not how much a man hates n
creditor, he invariably asks him TO call
again.
The man who called another a dog apol.
o.sizcd by saying it was not his purp-ous to
insult him.
When You hear the rushing current Of
profanity you can rest assured that Il dam
has given way.
A good fine tooth comb beats any phre-
no!o%iSt in the world in developing what is
in the boys head.
Don't lingcr where your Glove lies
dreaming Wake her up and tell her to
get the breakfast ready.
Always aim n little higher than the
mark, says an exchange. What kiss q
girl on the nose? Never!
Everybody is on the strike now, strickly
at mosquitoes and hitting them not, for
their notes arc SO deceptive.
Hardly anybody would care to change
places with the turtle and yet he has n
great snap.
A. Watering place young lady Is n good
deal like q brewer. She cannot get along
without the hops.
Opportunity makes the thief. A woman
swinging Il fat purse on her little finger is
an opportunity.
Every dog has his day, but many OF
them, from the bowling which they kccr
up, insist on having the night, too.
No man was ever 50 mean hat he could
not give advicc.-Ncm Uacea Ners. We'll
go on; what were you going to say?
The difference between two great politi
cal parties is easily explained to foreigners,
One gets the Offices and the other gets left
The poet whose manuscript gets into tho
waste basket is far from being convinced
that his lines have fallen in pleasant places
Some one wants 10 know: "Why dom
our young men come to the front?' Simply
because it is harder TO get out between tho
acts.
The chestnut gong has itself become (
Chestnut, and i'll the larger cities the idiot,
who ring them in public places are ~0rrcstcC
and fined,
The tales spun out by overweight i'm
a"inalions about the earthquake in ont
week Will cause the recording angel TO wccI
for the rest OF the year.
~ Montana man saw q serpent thirt,
feet long gliding through the grass. III
must lave let that WHISKY get q little toe
ripe.
some persons don't believe i'm total dc
p!avIty, and yet there arc men in New
York who teach Cinnamon to play tn,
mouth organ.
There is q policeman named Moon
quite appropriately he is on the night force
and, like the other one, he is about hall
the time invisible.
a man in New York advcrtiscs to guar
antcc pupils TO play the accordcan in two
lessons. Crime in that city assumcs many
phases.
A doctor is sometimes II curc.ious indi
Vidual. The sometimes is the only thing
mat keeps this statement ont of the realm
of fiction.
Cotton is ripcning rapidly and the har,
vc9t is going on actively all over the South.
What has become of the cotton harvesting
machines?
Nothing is so inOpportunc as q snccZc at
he rapture crowded climax Of OSCILLATION.
1t breaks, as it were, the flow of the pro,
cccdings.
"A chair of matrimony is talked of at
NaSsar College" or course it will he n
big rocking chair strong enough to hold
two.
Here's the difference: When doctors give
q man up his chance for his life is gone.
hcn LAWYERS Give him IN his mnnoy ;e
gone.
Crcditor-"Canyou let nc have my little
biil!' Dcbtor-"Ccrtainly, but don't dc.
stroy 1t. may want to pay something on
ii in the future"
a woman who had n bed quilt at n Ken.
lucky county fair and failed 10 take a prize
went home and stabbed her husband rs a
consolation.
a Chicago minister preached last Sunday
on What can / do to DC saved" 1t would
seem That about the first move would be TO
get out of Chicago.
He stood under the window and sono