The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-04-04
THEY LOVED HIM SO.
snappery Poppsl What a name!

OF such a cognomen was, and how b.
came by such an eccentric title, thu
giving the author a story to write, anS
at the same time, receiving the atten
ton of the reader during the telling Of
it.
Impossible as it may seem to you, my
hero was actually born into this land O
liberty either in 1890 or 1920. Such
however, was the case. and a very queel
case he was. Itwould have been better
If ne had not come into this world, a
the following sketch will show, provided
you don't fall asleep before you come tC
the hnis.
NOW we will tell you how he obtained
his name. You see (that is II you are
blessed with good eyeslght and il ISM
too dark(, Mrs. Pops was working at q
piece Ot bed quilt and Mr.. Pops wa.
Uusily engaged in popping corn.
Now, POpps, love" exclaimed Mrs.
P, III seems uncbristianlike TO let cur
boy 90 about with nothing to call him
by but Here, you, or Young Pops
| us high time he had a name. Now,
I Poppy, love, what shall It be2's
At this juncture, Poppy, love" was
too much engrossed in popping corn,
and not hearing his wife's remark. kept
on watching the transformation of the
corn into the snowy delicacy that YOU
ana / are so fond of. muttering TO hun
self. .,Snappery Poppsl Snappery
Popps."
Mrs. p. believing this to be an answer
TO her query. called the lad by that
name. and SnapDery POpps he continued
10 be styled to The end Of the chapter, or
until grim death popped at him and ne
was snatched away from life and its
viciSsltudes.
Arrived at the "spoOny" age of 10. it
entered his head that all the girls who
lived at the clearinghouse where he
ate his meals and paid S. week for the
privilege o. occupying an upper room
were In love with him. consequently he
paid more attention 10 tire adornment
OF his somewhat auburn locks than
Tailed with his employers interest.
Snappery's brain was troubled and is
il any wonder when we take into con-
Sideration that he imagined that twenty
damsels were regarding him as their
husband in prospective and he only
able 10 m Try one Of them, unless he
went 20 Utah?
Which one TO select he scarcely knew
and this Kept his mind in constant
trouble. Sometimes he wished he was
a Mormon so as 70 get much married. as
the late A. Ward was wont 10 express
himself.
At last bright idea infused itself Into
mis- brain: he would write down the
names of all his female acquaintance
at his boarding house, put them in his
hat mot the females, but their names).
ok h. 4 -. a
the first name he drew he would 20 to
the owner of the same, offer his hand
and heart. For the other nineteen he
knew the disappointment would be so
great that he felt sure some of their
bodies would be found floating in the
river the next morning, while others
would swallow arsenic 10 shuttle of the
mortal curls ana waterfalls.
To prevent so dire a catastrophe. s.
p. resolved to call a meeting in the par
Tor of the clearinghouse, state the
case briefly and 10 the point, and thus
prove herself an honest and honorable
man. Could mortal man do more, or a
mortal man do less?
Heroes are generally Landed so that
enc would imagine them tobe immortal,
but mine wasn't of that sort at all.
He was merely human, and in his
fAN~NaN St1-1C Va 1lAAOA va, OAl4N uu-
name.
The hat was procured, the names
written on separate slips of papers and
were shuffied up. Then came the mo-
ment of trying suspense. the drawing.
However. Pops drew his courage TO
the sticking plaster beg pardon, mean
place-and plunglng his hand in his
hat. which was full of Pollies, Sallies,
Hepzibahs and Abigails, drew from
thence the name of Tabitha Jane
Spriggs.
Snappery Pops had a bad habit of talk
ing over his affairs out loud.
What pity it was that Solomon Pyse,
who had the adjoining room to Popp,
was kept awake that night with the
What on earth has that. got to do
with the story?" you ask.
Have patience and / will inform you.
Tabitha Jane Spriggs received her
proposal by letter, and the other nine
teen supposed to be disconsolate spin
lowing night in the parlor.
The night came, and the parlor was |
well filled with the nineteen females. |
who were chatting and remarking on |
the costume of the day, until the hero /
Of the evening made his appearance.
He had donned his best suit, and /
ooked ready to kill "a aye, lacerate
nineteen gushing hearts. which, alas
would have no more gush in them. after
he had unburdened his heart and told
hem the sad news.
He made a low bow to the females.
Who, in their turn. curtsied downlto the
Tery ingram carpet.
Ladies" commenced Pops, while
n the butchers shop this morning.
Jaw poor slaughtered hog, and could
Tot help recalling to my mind the hymn,
Rest for the Weary you know It, do
'ou not2"
There came a negative answer from
III present.
II is sweet, and runs Something like
his: III
The melancholy day IS come,
The tadde>t OF the year.
When man 70 keep his spirits up,
Must drink down lager beer.
Nineteen handkerchiefs were raised TO
hlrty-eight weeping eyes.
Of course you know that WASH {
luoted rightly, but never mind. That
vas Pops lookout and not mine.
Ladies'" continued Snappery. If