Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-06-09
EDITORIAL NOTICES.
HOW A DAKOTA EDITOR ACKNOWL-
EDGES SMALL FAVORS.
Watermelon and New Potatoes-BoI of
Cigars Green Corn Beautiful Bouquet
Spare Rib from the Major Turkey
from the Colonel

Watermelon and New Potatoss-BoN al
Cigars Green Corn Beautiful Bouquet
Spare Rib from the Major Turkey
from the Colonel
As some little misunderstanding seems
t" exist concerning the size Of puffS this
paper will give in return for favorN real or
supposed, We take this opportunity to pub
llsh the following rates, which take effect
from this date
For one watermelon handed in at the
Office We will say: MIR Gardcntruck our
esteemed fellow townsman, presented us
last "Wednesday afternoon with large
luscious watermelon of the Plymouth
Rock variety ON which the printers frastrd.
May he live long and prosper" In cas-,
the melon proves to be green this will bc
the form: Farmer GardentruCk laid a
gu'd- sized melon on our table one day
this week Thanks"
\ small lot OF new potatoes will call out
the following: II nCle Abner Stuhhlrplow
remembered We editor Just as We 90 tn
press with most luscious looking mess "t
new POTATOES We and our family expect
To revel in the fruit during the coming
week He informs lis that the bugs are
doing great damag' to the vines Of many
Of his nriEhhnrs l'uclr, you struck the
printers In TIA" right spot; may your
shadow never grow less"
When n box of cigars is left, this is the
formula: The sanctum of The Brll WAS
invaded last Tuesday by the genial pres
rnce of Tom Livcrpills, the handsome
Young proprietor of the Red Front Pioneer
drug store, who placed on tap n full box
Of choice Hahauas Here's To you, Tom!
Our many readers will remember that he
hss just got i'll full new line of paints,
oils, axle grease, condition powders, per
fumerp. putty, and other drugs and toilet
articles"
Green corn will produce the following
editorial effect: "Ee sCribc'S family has
been enjoying another luxury for the last
four days. Mrs. Deacon ChurChdcht haV-
ing presented our wife with good dozen
Of roasting ears. Such favnrs rs this are
fully appreciated by yours truly, as well
as by his wife and family. May Mrs. Z.
meet her reward is our earnest wish"
WHEN THE EMOTIONS SUEGE.
A bouquet will be acknowledged like
this: Yesterday afternoon, ~ ye pencil
pusher was busy with an unexpected rush
of job work, who should come in but Miss
Birdie Pistolpractice, the charming
daughter of our worthy fellow citizen,
Col Pistolprsctice. She presented Us
with beautiful bouquet OF wildhOwers
which she had picked with her own fair
hands. Among the varieties We noticed
ireweed, dandelion. buckwheat, redtop,
Cansy. and sunhowers. Ii shall remain
many days to beautify our sanctum. Our
wife is also pleased with it"
The giver Of a spare rib may expect
this: Our genial and justly popular
neighbor, Maj. Porcine having frequently
noticed the hungry look on the printer )
face. took occasion early the other morn
ing to leave mammoth spare rib AT our
humble abode, taken from one of his IA
nous drove Of SOuthdown pOrkers. We
and our family have accordingly been
feasting ON fresh meat. BY the way, We
understand that the major will accept the
nomination for the legislature if it is
rendered him. He Is the man for the
place"
A turkey will inspire this: While sit
ting in our sanctum sactorum about II
o'clock Thursday morning reclining our
head in our hands, We were greatly sur
prised as well rs pleased at having Col.
MCTuugh walk in with a mysterious air
and "A bundle under his arm. We had just
finished writing our leader found ON the
first page entitled True Tariff Reform as
Compared with Tariff Jugglery, and felt
considerable fatigue, but it was imme-
diately dispelled when the handsome colo
mel disclosed large turkey in the bundle
which he assured lis was for our Thanks
giving dinner To say that we were
pleased but family expresses the emotions
which surged through our breast. We
Immediately called our wife, who was
even more pleased than we. II is such
things as this that makes life amid the eN
acting cares of the newspaper Office endur-
able and CAUSES Us to keep on the editorial
harness without repining. Colonel, may
heaven reward you. II may not be out of
place TO inform our many readers that the
colonel's friends expect the coming legis
lature to elect him to the United States
senate He seems 10 lie the unanimous
choice of our people. We predict that he
will get it ON the first ballot. t."-Estelline
tDak.) Bell.