davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
Rverythine Goes wrong

In the bodily mechanism when the liver gets out of
order. Constipation, dyspepsia, contamination Of the
blood imperfect assimilation, are certain to ensue.
But it is easy to prevent these consequences and
move their cause by of Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters which stimulates the hillary organ and regu-
lates it's action. The direct result is the disappear
of the pains beneath the ribs and through the
shoulder blade, the nausea headaches, yeowness Of
the skim furred look Of the tongue and odor Of
the breath, which characterize liver complaint Good
diges ton and,a regular habit of body are blessings
also secured by the of this celebrated restorative
which impars to the body that degree Of vgoI which
is it's best guarantee Of safety from maaral epideu
les. Nerve weakness and over-tension relieved by
it, and it improves appetite and sleep.
Kentucky merchant lately failed for $25, OOO with
400.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
Photographic.

1t seems hard that man must become famous in
order to sell his photograph. He must either commit
great crime or make champion Of himself-in
which case aesthetic ladies become ''wid" about him
"Pedacura Plasters" have become decidedly popular
GU their own merits; all druggists keep them and
those who do not will get them. For corns and bun
ions they stand to-day without a rival
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
ESTATE OF MRS. OLIVE FISHER.


= The Probate Court for said District.
To all whom II may concern, Greeting.
whereas, $. n. HERBICK, administrator 81 the
estate Of OLIVE FISHER, late Of Brattlebor0, Ia
said district, deceased, has represented that
ceasedis f5O2.01
The charges Of administration, estimat-
ed, are jO0O-s552 Of
praised is $4,000
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
balance Of debts chareeabie on The real


Praying for license to sell much Of the real estate
of said deceased s necessary for the payment of
said debts aud charges " administration Whereupon
il ordered that the be heard at the session OF
said court to be held at the Probate Office in Bratte
boro on the last Saturday Of October, A. d. 1886
when and where you may be heard In the premises If
ynn zoe cnnse. an 4. w. STODDARD. ReRistrr.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22

ADVICE TO M Othera-MRs. WINsLow's SooTH.
ING SYRUP should always be used when children are
cutting teeth 1t relieves the little sufferer once
produces NATURAL quiet sleep by relieving the child
from pain, and the little cherub awakes bright
button" 1t is very pleasant to taste. 1t sOOthes
the gums aays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the
bowels, and is the best known remedy for dhrrhoa
whether arising from eething other causes, Tween
tY-hYe cents a hntila.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
Balance Of debts chargeable on the real


Praying for license to sell much Of the real estate
Of said deceased, as is necessary Tor the payment
Of said debts and charges Of administration.
WhereupOn II is ordered that the same be heard at
the session Of said court TO be held at the Probate Of
fee in Brattleb1ro on the last Saturday Of October
1886 when and where you may be heard in the
premises II you cause.
an E.w. sTODDARD, Register.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
Laughter Lends a New Charm

To beauty when it discloses a pretty set Of teeth
Whteness when nature has supplied this element OF
loveness may be retained through life by using fra
grant SOZOD0NT.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
Fact. worth Knoninr.

In all diseases of the nasal mucous membrane the
remedy used must be non-irritating. The medical
profession has been slow to learn this. Nothing
factory be accomplished with douches, snufs as
tringents powders, syrnges, any similar applica-
tons because they all irritating, do thorough
ly reach the affected surfaces and should be
ed as worse than failures. multitude of persons
who had for years borne all the worry and pain that
catarrh can inct testify to radical and permanent
cures wrought by Elys Cream Balm.
My friend, look here ! You know how weak and
nervous your wife is, and you know that Carriers
Iron Pills will relieve her. Now why not be fair
about It and buy her a box
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22

piled.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22

A farmer near Albany has raised potato weighing
So ounces.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22

Stop that coughl II you don't 1t may kill you. A
bottle of Dr. Bulls Cough syrup costs only 25c. and
its timely use may save your life.
had always been much annoyed by neuralgia aud
headache. At length resolved to try Salvation Oil
am glad to recommend 1t, as 1t worked perfect cure
Md.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
AegaI Notices.


STATE OF VERMONT, Marlboro s. s.
= The Probate Court for said District.
To all persons Interested In the estate Of OLIVE NJ
LYNDE, late Of Gulford, in said District, deceased,
Greeting:
whereas, Samuel l.. sibley has presented TO this
Court an instrument purporting to be the last Will
Of said deceased for probate You hereby notified
that this Court will decide upon the probate Of said
instrument at session thereof TO be held at the Pro-
bate once IN Brateboro ia said district the last
Saturday Of October A. ID, 1896 when and where you
may appear and con test the same, II you see cause.
II +. W. sTOTTARD, Register.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22

The question of proper food for infants in
terests ali mothers, especially those unable TO nurse
their offspring. Mens Food possesses all the requi-
stes substitute for mothers milk and Ia highly
commended by the medical faculty Of both this
ry and Europe,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
RHEUMATISM Etc.

Relieved and cured by the use Of these Plasters.
A trial will convince the most skeptical that
they are the best. They are medicated with
capscum and the active principle OF petroleum,
being far more powerful in their action than
other plasters. Do not be induced to take other
plasters which ara inferior but be sure and get
the genuine "Petroine," which Is always en-
closed in an envelope with the signature Of the
proprietors The P,W +. Co. also above seal, IN
green aud gold, on each plaster sold by all
druggists at % cents each.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22

Cure Cold Feet, GOut, ISheuu atisIn,
Paralysis, Swollen Feet, etc. Tho
Peleg White Proprietary Co, % Church Street,
New York Manufacturers. of first class
druggists and
1. b. THORN, District Agent for Brattleboro, VT.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
PEDAcuRA CORN PLAsTERs
PEDAcuRA INsoLES

Are the best known remedy for hard and sOt
corns, and never fail to cure. Price, 70 cents.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
scOtts Emulsion OF Pure

Kentucky merchant lately failed for s2' 900, with
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-10-22
x ia MANI X

W+o IS uaAeaUAHTTD VITA THz GEOGRAPHY or rtis
GolAIRl VIM Sc nY EkAsInlha r.s .AR It..I rs
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
A Major General Kissed.

In an article on Kissing" in the
Clipper, the author says:
This reminds me of a scene at the
Arch Street Theater, Philadelphia,
just after the close of the late war.
The house was crowded, f.: Cen.
Meade was expected to be present. A
few minutes before the time for rails
ing the curtain the General entered
from the west side, and young pop
Inlay brevet major general, who had
never smelt powder, but owed his
stars to political influence, came in on
the east side. He was in full uniform.
At sight of General Meade the audi
ence arose en- mGsSe and cheered him
to the echo. With the utmost re-
freshing assumption of dignifed con-
sideration, the young puppet uncov-
cred and bowed right and left as he
marched down the aisle toward the
orchestra chairs. Before he reached
his place General Meade mad seated
himself, and then, as Goldsmith might
have said, and did say Gin the pro-
logue to "Zobeidep:
heard kissing There were serpents there.
That hiss was the nearest approach
to the universal hiss that i ever heard.
The object heard it, and tried to look
unconscious of it; but the concen-
trated essence Of ridicule and contempt
that favored the hiss was too pungent,
and he stood no longer upon the order
of getting, but got. Ersibilatir-
he was Missed out.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
Inflammation I'm Eggs.

One of the most peculiar discoveries
of recent date in regard to deleterious
food matter is recorded in the "Bulle
tin of the Tennessee State Board of
Health" DR.. ID. L. Wright, in late
edition of that work, says that soon
after il became the practice to trans
port eggs in large quantities and long
distances by rail, it was found on their
arrival that adhesion had taken place
between the membranes of yelk and
those of the shell, so that the yelk
could not be turned out unbroken. On
examination by experienced patholo-
gists this was found to be the result of
true inflammation, and the material of
adhesion was also found to be precise
ly the same as in inflammation of the
lungs. DIR. Wright continues:
at will at first seem absurd to speak
of inflammation in such an uniformed
mass as an egg, but this arises from
our forgetting that, structureless and
unorganized as it seems, the egg, even
when fresh laid, is a living being, and
capable of disease from external
causes. The cause of this inflamma-
ton is, undoubtedly the shaking and
friction from the motion of the cars,
and it cannot but render the egg less
wholesome, as the products of infam-
nation can never be as salutary in food
as those of healthy growth. "-NeiU
York Mail and Express.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
Squire Hobbs FilOsOS.

Luv am de kee tn de human hart.
Hipokrisy am de favorit kloke oh
Satan.
He hoo am de fust ter kondem am de
las ter forgib
Envy am er row oh hooks tn hang up
1t am peculeyer dat de oldes' settler
nebber die.
An irate mudder an an ole slipper
max er spankin' team.
Ambishun am de sepulker oh de
odder pashuns oh man.
De bes' wa tn git rid oh er bad habit
am nebber to fo'm wun.
Anger hides us frum oursevs, but ex-
poses us tn odders.
Liberality maks frens oh enemies,
but pride maks enemies oh frens.
Yo' koodn' 'spek' ter fin ennyting
but er small sole in narry-minded
man.
Abarice am de fodder oh noah chill
ZEN dan Priam, an, like him, surwibes
dem all.
Oar am menny er man hooz tung
mite gobern multitoods, eff he kood
only gobern hiz tung.
De liah will nebber bekum extermin-
ated az long az siklones, fish, an boss
trade am in stile.
1t am bettah to lib alone in er little
log kabin dan wild er skoldin' oman in
er big, fine lnanshun.
A koket am er rose frum wich cherry
luver pluks er leef; de thorn remanes
for de futur husban'.
A boy am er kombinashun oh konun-
drums. De mos poten' one am, "Wot
am he goin' ter do nex'?"
We admiah er CURL TO- her buty,
respek her TO her wirtu, esteem her TO
her understandin', an luv her kase we
kant help it.
/ put it az a rule dat de man hoo
nebber slandahs hiz nabor am er good
man. Kan as much be sed oh de
balans oh humanity?
A CRATE menny people am Dawn intu
dis worP hoo lib awhile, wundah why
dey war bawn, den dy widout eber
solbin de problem.
Oar am tings dat we orter nebbah
grumble erbout: de fust am dat wich
we kant help, an de odder am dat witch
we kan help.
De obstinate man duz not hold opin-
yuns, but dey hold him. Hiz min am
so mario dat an opinyun ain got room
ter turn roun'.
Gamblin' am de CRATES tief oh hui
mainly. 1t not only robs er man oh
hiz mummy, but oh hiz good karakter,
an sumtimes eben OBJ hiz lif.
Wot dampah it wood tro ober gos-
sip eff yo' wood stop ter refek' dat de
pusson hoo tells yo' de falts oh odders
intends ter tell odders oh yo' falts.
An Inglish oman marrys 70 rank, a
French oman TO husban', Spanish
oman TO luv, but de American oman
marrys er man TO hiz mummy.
Luv am only er part oh mans lif, but
it am 'oman's hole existence. Man kin
fo'get disappointed luv in odder pur-
suites, but oman krossed in luv am
bankruptin bizness. Chicago Ledger.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
Personalities and Ill Reports.

Keep clear of personalities in gen.
eral conversation. Talk of things, OBJ
jects, thoughts. The smallest minds
occupy themselves with personalities.
Personalities must sometimes be talked
because we have to learn and find out
mems characteristics for legitimate OBJ
iects; but it is to be with confidential
persons. Do not heedlessly report i'll
OF others. There are times when we
are compelled to say, IL do not think
Bouncer a true and honest man," But
where there is no need to express an
opinion, let poor Bouncer swagger
away. Others will take his measure,
no doubt, and save the trouble of ana
Lying him and instructing them. And
as far as possible dwell on the good
side of human beings. There are fam
lily boards where q constant process of
depreciating, assigning motives, and
cutting up characters goes forward.
They are not pleasant places. One
who is healthy does not wish to dine at
a dissecting table. There is evil
enough in men, God knows. But it is
not the mission of every young man and
woman to detail and report il all. Keep
the atmosphere as pure as possible,
and fragrant with gentleness and char
ity.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
Anecdote or Bishop Simpson.

When Bishop Simpson was President
of Indiana Asbury University he occa-
sionally preached in the adjoining
towns and villages. Upon one occasion
he visited a neighborhood where a
number of Methodists had settled, and
was the guest of brother named
Swank. He had immigrated from Ken
lucky, and had brought with him the
means of purchasing a fine estate, and
at the time of which L write was very
prominent as a citizen, man of wealth,
and church member.
After dinner on Saturday Mr.. Swank
invited the Bishop to walk out, and
look over his improvements and lands
They looked at his glossy imported
cattle, at his numerous beautiful
horses, and his focks of sheep, over
his wide meadows, and luxuriant fields
of corn and wheat.
In the presence of these broad acres,
where every clod blessed its owner, and
where every creature was basking in
the sunshine of the highest enjoyment
of which its nature was capable, the
Bishop expressed the greatest pleas
ure.
Brother Swank," said he, "you
ought to be one of the most grateful OF
men; God has filled with all good
things your basket and store. Where
did you obtain the means for all these
improvements and purchaser Did
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09

Ward II. Lamon Contradlcts Some Remi-
niscences of the Two.

niscences of the Two.
think that no man living had the
influence over Mr.. Lincoln that David
Davis had. went to Washington at
that time, having been promised the
consulship at Paris by Mr.. Lincoln.
But as soon as we realized how serious
was the state of political affairs, Davis,
seconded by Lincoln himself, persuad-
ed me to remain near the Presidents
person to protect him against danger.
1 was consequently made Marshal of
the District of Columbia. During all
my close acquaintance with the two
men, L never knew them to have a
quarrel. Tie only point on which L
ever knew them to differ was over Lin
coins large-hearted-but in Davis
opinion, sometimes misguided-tolera-
tion and charity.
i remember one occasion on which
Davis brought this out in an amusing
manner.
Lincoln had appointed to an Office q
man who was his political enemy, and
who had done him a positive injury.
To Da-'is' remonstrance, Lincoln, with
his never-failing large-heartedness, re-
sponded:
"Yes, L know he is my enemy, but
you know l never can think of these
things"
Lincoln, said Davis, "you never will
be worth a damn until you learn to
hate"
Davis, himself, was far from being a
malignant man, but he was like other
men. Lincoln was, in this respect,
almost godlike.
l remember at another time, when
Davis was again making the same COM
plant, Lincoln said:
Davis, L had to appoint that man.
He was personal enemy of mine"
Davis was the second man appointed
by Lincoln to the bench of the SUI
preme Court of the United States. He
never sought the office. do not think
that he ever aspired higher than the
Supreme Bench of his own State. l
was personally interested in one i'm
portant case in which he delivered the
opinion. 1t was the famous case of
Milligan, Bowles, and Horsey, who
were charged with conspiracy in Indiana
against the United States Government.
1t being at time when the habeas
corpus had been suspended, General
Burnside was on the point of court
martialing the accused. But by the
efforts OF Judge Mcdonald habeas
corpus was secured. Judge Black,
David Dudley Field and myself were
the counsel for the defense. Just be-
fore the trial Judge Black came to me
and asked whether L was anxious to try
the case.
told him that was very anxious to
get out of it,
well, said Judge Black, what do
you say to taking on Garfield? He is
on the opposite side politically, and
then his reputation as a literary man
and a scholar will help us"
"Yes," l said, she is just the man we
want. But he doesn't know any law.
He hasn't even been admitted"
"Oh, WE'LL" said Mr.. Black, "Tll adj
NIT him, and as for the law, we will
stuff him up all right"
So we stuffed him up with the case.
Judge Davis delivered the opinion on
the ground that Indiana was not in a
state of war, and that, hence, martial
law was not applicable.
1L1le,
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09

BIZ WIZ. HAUGHros.


Two roguish eyes as black IA coal;
Two ruby lips that somewhere stole
The fragrance from the roses
Soft tresses, dark as ebon night;
A cheek within whose dimpled light
The blush Of dawn reroses;
A face, 80 like dream divine
twas such face that looked ON mino
With mingled fear and wonder
Then suddenly tho vines were stirred,
And such n ripping laugh hoard
From out the bushes yonder.
G uld not move-e ntranced stood
Within the shadows of the wood,
Lost i'm dream elysian;
But while dreamed the sprite or fay
Swift vanished from my sight away.
Like some enchanted vision.
4 called to mind my boyhood dreams
OF wood nymphs by the haunted streams,
With vines and blossoms Laden
But here in this secluded wood
Was one OF real flesh and blood
A veritable maiden.
L then and there made up my mind
That laughter-loving fay I'd find
I'd seek her late and early;
I'd hunt the woodland DER and Ger
Yea, search the land from shore To shore,
Until caught her fairly.
Not long sought-O. Joy supremei
found her resting by stream
Half hid among the bushes
Her feet hung o er the clamoring tide
That kissed them and then fled TO hide
Beneath the bank its bushes.
But how wooed that maiden fair,
What tales told her then aud there
OF how my heart long sought her,
II may not speak, o, friend save this:
That twilight was an age of bliss,
BY Elvas starlit water
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09

you not tell me that you sold land in
Kentuckyf"
40 yes; all 1 had there / sold before
I left" he replied.
Had you negroes, Brother Swank p"
40 yes" he answered. II sold them
all; could not bring them here"
"And you sold your negroes; and
some of them members of the same
church with yourself, were they not ?"
90 yes" replied Mr.. Swank; show
could L do otherwise? Everybody,
members of all churches, sold their
slaves. What else could 1 do with
them?"
"You could have emancipated them,
Brother Swank; taken them, if neces-
sary. to free State. bought land for
them, and paid them back something
of what they earned for you. Brother
Swank," said the Bishop, stopping and
looking most earnestly into his face,
"you want to be saved, don't your
Certainly 1 do" replied Mr.. Swank,
rather crustily.
"Then," said the Bishop, ego and
find those negroes, and buy them back
for in selling them you sold Jesus
Christ your Lord; for what you did to
the least of His brethren you did to
Him."
Mr.. Swank made no reply, walked
home in silence, did not attend the
evening meeting, went not with tie
Bishop on the Sabbath. and never en-
tered the church again. The buried
spear pierced the heart of his covetous-
ness, and its point developed cancer
that never healed. -ReU. j. j. Marks.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
The Knot and the Mile.

The "knot" and the mile are terms
often used interchangeable, but erro-
neously so. The fact is that mile is
less than 81 per cent. of knot. Three
and one-half miles are equal, within a
very small fraction, to three knots.
The knot is 6,0S2.66 feet in length.
The statute mile is $3.50 feet. The re-
suit in difference is that speed in miles
per hour is always considerably larger
than when stated in knots, and if a
person forgets this and states a speed
of as many knots, when it was really
50 many miles, he may be giving figures
verging on the incredible. When we
hear a person say that such a vessel is
capable Of making 20 knots per hour,
we usuallytake the statementwith very
large grain of salt, for 20 knots is 1904
miles per hour, speed which few
vessels have made, and it is doubted
by some, who have the best opportunity
for making actual measurements,
whether any vessel has ever made %
miles in 60 minutes. It has been said
that some of the English torpedo
boats have made as high as "a or %
knots. Twenty-four knots are over
pa miles per hour, and . knots are
upward of 28i miles an hour, distances
that are incredible.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09
The Way a Conductor Was Euchred.

Did you ever on a railroad car OBJ
serve the many bits of pasteboard that
are thrust out at the conductors, who
hesitate before they punch them, and
hand them back with an air that seems
to say, "Well, tits none of my business, !"
AMI move on to another? That's the
"pass," and a mighty useful thing it is
where the shekels are not abundant
and the ways are long. Lecturers find
it so especially, and John G.. SAKE once
told one of his experiences that was
very amusing. He had passes on all
the roads and steamboats, in the West,
he thought; but at one time he found
himself on a short road not down on
his chart, upon which he had no ticket.
As the conductor came along he took
all his passes from his pocket and held
them in his hand like deck of play
ing cards. "Mr. Conductor" said he,
"do you play euchre?" Eyes, some-
times" "Well, what should you say to
a hand like that ?" Il should say pass,
and SAKE put up his cards as the con-
ductor passed laughingly along
Hartford Post.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09

IsTHETIc YOUNG LADY Can you
conceive of anything more somberly
and POLITICALLY solemn than the denoue-
ment Of Romeo and Juliet?" Gould
the poet have made their fate more
weirdly tragic? Cynical Bachelor-Oh,
yes; he might have married them.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09

IT is reported from Nevada that a
farmer in that State has bored we'll
that sucks in air, and makes loud,
whistling noise" The report does not
say whether the farmer was pleased at
having bored we'll of this sort, mere
ly intimating that he was considerably
surprised. II he had been an ancient
Chinese, he would have been pleased,
for that people, it is said, believed that
life was prolonged by swallowing the
breath" or accommodating air in the sys-
tenn; and if they had caught the earth
swallowing its breath, they undoubted-
ly would have considered il a good
omen. The "Uitdl aura" was what the
ancient Chinese used to call the ar
thus acquired. They would have been
profoundly impressed by the circum-
stance of Mother Earth drinking in the
vital aura with loud, whistling noise.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-09-09

IT has become quite the rage to have
sermons, lectures, associations, clubs,
etc, exclusively for the gentler sex.