The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-04-16
CONCERNING FUNERALS.
A Somewhat Glowing Topic Not Flippant
t1y, But Humorously, Discussed.

A Somewhat Glowing Topic Not Flippant- b
<1y, But Humorous1y, Discussed. :,
The subject OF what we shall do with n
ourselves after death is one that should a
be fully considered at an early date. lii n
all seriousness, the soul is not the. only !
thing to be looked after, either during !
life or after death. We are too proneto i
neglect our health during life and then !
bedueath our accumulated microbes and s
other results of long and perhaps {
crooked career to- some slightly ceme-
tery, set on hill like a city that can not !
be hid.
Longevity is good thing, though l ,
have known public men to s.oyerdo IT. I
TO die at the proper moment and Leave
good impression on history is one OF
The lost arts To flicker out Of life with
| the applause of a great people ringing
! in the ears is q good thing; but man
| that is born of a woman, and the MAJOR
| ity of them are that way, are too prone
to linger on this side of eternity until
they have done some little thing that is
never properly explained on their tomb
stones. .,
But after death what shall we do with
ourselyesp In this brief treatise L dare
|
fucid. Leaving others who know all
about it to state exactly what disposition
will be made of our souls, let us look
into the matter of what wS shall do with
our bodies.
I hope that what may say will not be
regarded as fiippant, for this is no place
for flippancy, but allow me to speak
plainly of it, as I would on any other
suhiect concerning onr health.
Death has some very peculiar charac-
teristics. For instance, it will wake up
the dormant old crank, who has never
4 missed a funeral for sixty years. He
g goes for miles to see deceased" 1t is
L his holiday. 1t is the one saving sport
: in his otherwise joyless life. We all
e remember him. He is sometimes a
woman.
J. The thought that the time will come
IS some day when this man will put ON his
n funeral clothes and come to my funeral
o makes my tall hair rise up on end. he
|" can not gloat over me now, but the
" day may come when l shall lie low, IN
u stead Of lying otherwise, as do now
and he may outlive me and come to sec
n me properly buried. Then he will enjoy
Il himself! All, what q blessed relief Il
as would be could / hover over the door
H. way when he comes, and hear my loot
a. man announce to the old vulture tina
ep he sis little late, as Mr.. Nye was pu
ry in the kiln half an hour ago. :.
to could suffer good deal through lit
u. if I knew that / could at last head o,
On the funeral fend-the man wh
wouldn't loan me dollar when wa
Oh struggling for grub, but who cheerful
Or visits my funeral and shows his az
,ht must saw in all candor that there al
Ter MANY attractive features about crem;
asst ton. am sure that when cremation
led placed within the reach OF all it WI
J, a rapidly become popular.
she In the first place, if the space betwee
lng life and physical annihilation could
nes made Just as narrow as possible it wou
the be far more cheerful to consider. Dea
les. itself is cruel enough, but to add to 1t
I'm hippodrome of apublic funeral and tu
our parlors into a gaudy morgue, al
keo then to repose in a crowded cemete
till the city wants the ground for a par
Iru- and then to pick up our urcrumbling bon
and move away to q new grave, IS Il
IL cheerful to contemplate.
have often thought that cheert
earI book of fifty or sixty pages might
l written under the title of ''Recollectio
rev of Resurrection; or, the Diary OF
nm Body" 1t could be made to teach us
ms valuable lesson. Politically L
lave pledged to genuine national refor
lowi Let the nation try it, and
try it works all right on the nation v
up try it myself Next / am in favor
lend cremation at living prices. At pres
like the price is too high, and the pr
new man is left to decay and fill
soil with the poisonous gases, which
ldale poor, as we'll as the rich, may indulge
nel after death.
up, Death should end our career, so
''ead as earthly affairs go, but with
-, embarrassing prospects OF pref
u6le- ture burial, the cheerful chances
ed IN being boiled by the janitor OF a med
heT college, and our skeletons wired
ana gether and hung in museum,
tnat the opportunity, if we escape the
ram; two, of being tipped out OF
anu graves by q flood, an earthquake,
was the act of the Common Council,
tram no wonder that people cling to life.
lowly If thought that for centuries q
{ came me, my decease my long but symmetl
ner skeleton would be used night +;
WIN night to illustrate the union in
of compound cyclonic fracture OF
asana tibia, 1 wouldn't be able to
uiu; nights.-Bitl Nye, iU Boston GLOBE