Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1886-10-08
A vacant smile-an empty flask


How would lido to make Virgins IS day
national holiday?
An exchange says that the young men
of Dexter, Mich, have a cooking club. /.
it stuffed? When do they propose to eat
ltY
y Boston lawyer, in reply to our lhquir,
whether there is any legal process which
eau he applied to coffee when it refuses
to settle, replies 81 have to say that the
grounds OF action are in process of liquida-
ton. No fee"
Perhaps Virgins was iIht when he
,aid the worst part of the ear hquak, was
coming yet. Robert Buchanan is wItinL
poem about it.
An Indian near Snohomish City. w, T.,
caught and landed without help II stur-
Geon eleven feet loug and weighed 800
pounds. He was Obliged to call i'll the as
Sistance of "A civilized fisherman, however,
when it came to constructing the lie
\ Georgia paper which is conducting IA
crusade against "dude language prints
Nnat it calls "ball trd" of the late war.
Abr there,
B.Obsou; did they have full house
at the theatre, last evening ~
Dump~ey (faithfullyj; Cant say. l
was full myself
Anglo mania in this country doesn't
seem to extend to yachting.
Mrs Langtry says that she has come to
America to stay and that she has brought
all her belongings with her. We have
been looking for Mr.. Iangtry, but he
doesn't appear to the unclad eye. Prob
ably, the Jersey Lily forgot him.
! Unfortunately, the newspaper organ has
no stops.
No reciprocity treaty should be ratified
which does not contain clause eurren-
dering Virgins.
When Emperor William travels about
! hi, domain he is always accompanied by
three court physicians He must have the
most reckless disregard Tor his health.
George Gould's wife is said to be tip
top cook. Saves the expense OF a nred
girl anywa
Rhea has just been celebrating her
birthday at Portland, Me. But nobody
knows how old she is.
An exchange speaks arprovingly OF a
great man because he pegged SHOES when
he was boy. We never considered TINS
a trait to be encouraged in youth, except
at weddings.
"The rage for vests is not yet over
says fashion exchange. No, nor it won t
be so long as this weather continues.
The king of the Sandwich Islands is
hard up and wants to make raise of
cash. He had better rattle Off the islands
at 81 per ticket.
Inquirer: No, the wheel" in SOut hern
politics was not Il bicycle. But those who
attempted to ride it got thrown just the
same.
A big meteor out West is spoken of as
being "the most brilliant affair OF the
season."
President Cleveland shook hands with
400 Masons the other day, and he said it
was worse than an earthquake.
a correspondent asks If we know any
thing about "The American Poultry Ad-
wiser" We do. He Is going out of the
business.
The town of Harmony, Me, is well
named, The inhabitants are setting fire
to each others farm buildings.
! Tax collector is Mr.. Smith in to-day !?
smith NO, sir He is out exit tax col
lectorl-at the elbows
The longest word in the English Ian
Suage is "Methylbenzomet hoXy ethyltelr-
Observation-Disclosures late When Il
Russian runs acros, it, 1t makes him feel
at home at once, and warns the very
cookies of his heart.
\ Massachusetts woman recently cele-
brated her lOlst birthday by giving re
ceptlon to her friends. She was assisted
by her youthful brother, aged ~.
a pittsburg doctor says that the reason
why no one ever sees IA professional tramp
with hard cold is because they never
wash their feet. We don't wonder that
they are avoided by all respectable dis
eases.
1t is SAID that the Illinois river dwindled
to such a thread this season that the
farmers used it to tie their grain with.
The consular service, about which there
is so much complaint has at last proved
of some use. Consul Tanner of Chemnltz,
has written to the secretary of State the
proper directions, as observed III Ger
many, for drinking beer.
The champion mean man halls from
Pennsylvania. A Pittsburg man adver-
tsed tor a cook, and received this note
from citizen of Allegheny, Dear sir;
| have seen your advertisement for cook
for three days III the papers. When you
get what you want please send the rest of
the girls to me. as | don't care to adver-
tse."
Ladies' hats are larger than ever for this
winter. by and 10y they will have to take
| them of 10 get lndoOrs.-NCW HdrCn
| NCrS.
Lowell can never become a fashionable
watering place until the Merrimack river
has been made navigable for the sea ser
pents.-L0WCU Citizen
An old lady in Brookland, y. Y, an
nounces that when more boy babies are
| born than girls there is likely to be war.
| We had an idea that it was the other way,
D