The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1886-08-25
HOW 1T IS DONE.
story of the Purchase, Fitting and Nal
ing of Feminine SUIT.

story of the Purchase, Fitting and Maxi
ing of a Feminine SUIT.
I saw Graham's wife pricing dress
goods yesterday, and I know what's
going to happen. Indeed, | can give
you the programme without a variation.
She will be three days buyingthe goods,
and as soon as she gets the pattern
home she II sit down and weep because
she didn t take one of the others.
After she has braced up she will in
duce him TO buy her four dollars worth
of fashion magazines, and she will Dor
row every fashion plate in the neigh
borhood On top of that she will ask
at least fifty women how she ought to
make it up.
The next step is to find dress-maker
one who is reasonable in her charges
who won't steal the cloth-who has
got taste-who is responsible if she
makes mistake.
About fifty women will oe consulted
as to the dress-maker, and Mrs. Ora
ham viii finally make selection. At
ter she has made it she will be sorry
that she didn't take one of the others.
Then come days of anxiety for the
Graham household. A fashion is Sc
lected after many headaches, and Mrs.
Graham is measured. In three days
she is to come and be fitted. The three
DAYS are given her in which to worry
for fear she wont have enough cloth, or
the sleeves will be too short or too
long, or the skirt will be too full or too
scant.
Mrs Graham has scarcely reached
home before messenger calls with a
note. She hasn't got cloth enough by
five yards She turns snow white. Gra-
ham, who happens to be home, turns
blood red.
Interval of half an hour for family
matinee, during which Graham brains
every dressmaker in town with an axe
helye-in imagination.)
More money-more cloth.)
Mrs. Graham goes down to be fitted,
and is put on the rack for an hour. This
seam is TO be taken up and that one let
out, little more fullness here, not
quite so much there. About the same
a. sitting for six STYLES of photographs
and having three teeth pulled.
"Well?" growlS Graham.
'.Oh! it's going to be just too lovely!
You ought to see what a perfect fit!''
The dress is to done Wednesday
Graham drives his wife down, but one
of the apprentice girls has been i'll.
Another trip on Thursday. Some of
the trimming had to lie changed
Third trip on Friday Be done to-
morrow, for sure. The madame had to
redrape it, you know
The parcel comes up Saturday night,
and Mrs. Graham wears smile once
more, and Graham has half mind to
compliment the dress. He sits down to
smoke and she rusheS upstairs to try
it on
Interval of fifteen minutes to pre-
pare red and blue powder and imitation
thunder.)
(Smothered sounds of sobbing from
upstairs
Hello! Mary. come down and let S
see how you look"
''W-William. come upn'
well, now. what is it?'
'-Oh. W-William, but | told her to
be sure to give me comfortable waist,
and here / can't button it to save my
life"
Silent Indignation on the part of Ora
ham,
And the s--sleeves are so tight that
| can raise my a-arms.
Veins on Graham's neck begin to
stand out like broom-handles-
land the Skirt is shorter behind
than in front! Oh! W-William, I'm
so Disappointed
(Three grunts, four shouts and forty
seven hard words from Graham. with
such an imitation of a thunder storm
that neighbors run out of their houses. }
The dress goes back Monday. Oh, yes,
it can be altered, but the madame sup
posed she was making dress for fash
ionable lady. No fashionable lady ex-
poets TO raise her arms or draw com
Portable breath.
Mrs. Graham goes down Tuesday.
Mrs Graham goes down Wednesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Graham 90 down Thurs
day and get the dress.
(Another interval of fifteen minutes
to get out the war-club and load the
shotgun
''Well?"
1T is all right this time, only it
wrinkles in the back, Fuckers under the
arms, and there ought to be more
padding on this shoulder The drapery
ism very tasty, and one side of the skirt
is an inch longer than the other, but it :
right, my dear. You won't have to
worry over it any more.
Interval of six weeks, and then Ora
ham goes through the same mill again,
and the family doctor advises him to
leave the house he is living in for an
other in which there is no sewer gas to
act as slow poison on his which,
(lt0li, IN Detroit Free Press.