The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-05-05
PITH AND POINT

The barber is fond of making cutting
remarks.
The action of the heart-A breach OF
promise case. ~
Fine weather is never admired until it
is mist.-National Weekly. ..'
Nothing reduces mans income like
visit from an assessor.-CaU.
It's poor man that can't have few
enemies. .-Indionapolis Herald.
Working like horse-A lawyer draw
ing up o conveyance.-Ran'6ler. ..,.. y
There has always been a coldness be-
tween autumn and spring. Washington
Critic.
One of the latest and most effectual
cures for toothache is pair of tight
boots. s.-Puck.
A teacher of swimming is submerged
in business even when he has but one
pupil.-Sytings. Z
The barber is the greatest of modern
travellers. He roams continually from
poll to poll.-Sieur Falls Leader.
"Oh, mamma, I've got an awful painP'
seWhere Tomm: :e?" 7sRight here in the
large part of my back. ."-Philadelphia
Call. u
sFew sons take after their fathers,
remark an exchange. True, but great
many fathers take after their sons.-Hot
Springs Neaos.
"Did YOU hear the lecture last night2"
asked williams of his neighbor Beasley. /.
s.No," replied Beasley, my wife wasn't
at home. ."-ISd-B Bits.
A book has been written under the
title, ''Four Centuries of Silence" It is
needless to say that it is not history OF
the profession of barbering. Graphic.
The gloomy winter has gone hence.
The days are warm and bright, *
The cat sits on the backyard fence
And MARBLES through the night.
Boston Courier.
Little maiden (who is spending the af-
ternoon with her aunt)-"Auntie, mother
said I must not ask you for anything to
eat, but I'm awful hungry. y."-Harper's
Bazar. .
A pilot boat picked up an oil painting
that apparently came from the wreck OF
the Oregon. By the time it was rescued
it was probably water color.-New IoTk
Commercial. -
It seems sort of cruel, when man has
fallen into bad company, to put him into
solitary confinement, and thus keep hum
in the bad company which has proved his
downfall. l.-Boston Transcript.
sI stood at eve, when the gas was Lit,
by the door of q cheap hotel" sings a
wild western poet. If the gas hadn't
been lit he would probably have been In
side, with his hand en- the spoon-stand-
Boston Post. i
81 should like to know, Sir, why you
leave nv house so suddenly?" asked Mrs.
Jackson, the boarding house keeper. II
presume you have grounds" "Yes,
madam" replied Simpson, '1 have
grounds s-Cofee grounds.-Nsw York
Graphic. =.
81 Make room for the girls9" cries the
Woman's Journal. Oh, pshaw! the girls
don't want much room. A chair that
will hold one with a tight squeeze will
hold two very comfortably. Room for
the girls, indeed! Sit here, girls.-J.'
Burdette.
"Ah!' exclaimed Fogg, looking up
from his newspaper, "another clergyman
come to grief!' "What's that3' ex-
claimed half dozen eager voices. Glow
did it happen9" 1T was at funeral"
replied Fogg, and everybody calculated,
"Pooh !"-Boston Transcript. -
A Macon man, who has never witnessed
game of base ball, declares that no
never will. II hear them talk about
catching a fly" he says. "You needn't
expect me to pay my money to sec !ot
of lunatics catch flies. It's cruel to catca
flies, anyhow. Why not let the little
inserts live2"