The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1886-08-11
BRIC-!A-BR.AC.
plane issue-A shaving.

Moves in the best socicty-Thc fan.
y brides made-By the clergyman.
Having great run-Pcrspiration.
The Associated Prcss-A lovers squeeze.
Mental gymnastics-Jumping to l con
clusion.
Pugilists are the only men who really
make money by striking.
Whenever musician gets q bright
thought he makes note of it.
No bald-headed men are enlisted now
It aggravates the Indians.
Dcntist-madc teeth go we'll with q false
set-oh voice.
A bang is something to door--cspecial-
ly when it is on pretty girl.
Fashionable people do not seem to beablc
to hear scandal and not repeat it.
A few weeks more and the tide of travel
will be from instead of to the resorts.
Civil service reform was Republican
web which caught the Democratic fly.
Chicago has population of 655, 900 of
which only 164, 600 are native Americans.
You can't tell by the size of woman's
mouth how many hair pins it will hold.
Mrs. Cleveland is said to have remark
able memory for names as well as for faces
A woman hates to pass a pretty bonnet
ir store window, but she isalways willing
to 50 buy it.
a student of human nature says anything
can be sharpened. Put a lead-pencil in
woman's hand, and see.
\ man may refuse to be friend to q
principal in duel because he desires to be
second TO no man in the country.
Man proposes and the girl makes inquiry
as to his pecuniary value, and then gives an
answer.
The fly is not much Of an astronomer,
but if there is cream jug within his orbit
he will find out all about the milky way.
As prohibition begins to prohibit in At
lanta the domestic wine business shows
signs of beginning to boom in that city.
The most important on the list Of books
to be taken to the mountains for the sum-
mer is the pocket book. Don't forget that.
The economical man is never happier
in which he can buy ten cents cigar for
five cents.
Oregon pays bounty of two cents for
every squirrel killed, and one man recently
was paid for 125, 900 squirrel tails which he
had collected.
There is a crazy man in Buffalo who
imagincs he is an umpire And there are
lots Of base ball players who imagine their
umpire is crazy man.
Beware of the young man who writes
love letters with typewriter. They may
be dictated, and if he dictates before mar
rage he will boss aftcrward
An Ohio factory turns out $1,000, 900
matches day, and yet many man has
barked his shins on rocking chair because
he didn't have one of them.
The enforcement of prohibition laws in
Rhode Island has produced marked effect
on Newport. No sea-scrpent has been
noticed around there this summer.
A new drug has been extracted from
hops, which is said to be a combination of
morphine, cocoaine and atropine. Beer
contains plenty of the new drug.
A writer says that woman is silent
power in the land To this cynical old
bachelor editor responds: That it will be
news to thousands of husbands.
Ages will come and go; but woman will
not be perfectly happy until she can have
eyes attached TO her shoulders, so that she
may look up and criticise her own back
hair.
The Del Rio (Tcx.) Dot is edited by
young lady. She remarks Man pro-
poses, but it sometimes takes a great deal
Of encouragement to get him to do So
A writer on woman rights says: Never
scold your husband before supper. Put
him to his purgation On q full stomach"
But suppose he doesn't provide the supper:
A gifted poet writes: The devil arose
from his little bed, and washed his face
and combed his head" We hope not to be
considered profane if we ask where in hell
he got his water?
One of the permanent mysteries to q
student of human nature is why those little
girls who fight so hard against being kissed
at copenhagen play the game at all. They
don't have to.
Did you ever feel that deep, inner, subtle
sensation of the whole being, as though the
whole world had Topped up and hit you on
the head, which creeps over man when
he steps on place that isn't there?
AS drug clerk. the female is not bril-
liant success. When you wink at her
across a soda fountain, she doesn't know
whether to put little balm of Gilcad in
your soda, or hang her head and blush.
Virgins, the Canadian weather prophet,
has prophesicd storm for September 90,
which will be the worst in ten years If it
will blow Wiggins to the north pole it will
be welcomed by grateful continent.
An exchange thinks that the Chinese
way of removing dandrnff with sandpaper
is the most effectual. Perhaps it is, but
the common North American Indian has 4
plan, though quite abrupt, which is said to
be reasonably sure.
Sam Jones says: There is something
wrong when a preacher gets s40O and
pitcher $1,000 The Boston transcript
explains: But Sam should remember
that the $1,000 pitcher has much better
delivery than the $400 preacher.
with all thy false l love thee STILL"
said the ncwly-marricd man 10 his spouse
when viewing the mysteries of her toilet
"With all thy faults I love the STILL" said |
the owner of a whisky STILL with all |
thy faults I love thee STILL" said the man
who was mated 10 a garrulous woman
with all thy vaults love thee still, said |
q wife to the leaping aerconaut.
Publicity is money. This has come to
be recognized by shrewd business men as