Wichita eagle., 1886-12-07
SELECTED SMILES.
LANGUAGE is OFTEN A SLIPPERY
THING TO DEAL WITH,

| Pertinent Paragraphs Which Clever Peo-
pie Have Writtsn-An American Crit
les Review-Amusins Illustrations-A
List of Curious Similes-Stray Wit.
1.-THE child of the past and the parent Of
the future is not an unhappy si!nile for the
present. Happiness has been ikcned to
ghost; all talk about it. but few, if any, have
ever seen it. Ambitions ladder rests against
star, remarks a clever writer, who also
tells US that a proverb is short truth sand
wiched between wit and wisdom.
Eloquence is q coat of many colors judi
ciously blended. No one thing viii make a
man eloquent. Flattery has been termed a
kind of bad money to which our vanity gives
currency. Society, like shaded silk, must be
viewed in all situations, or its colors viii de-
ceive US. Kindness is the golden chain by
which society is bound together, and charity
is an angel breathing on riches, while graves
have been POLITICALLY called the footsteps OF
angels.
Language Is a slippery thing to deal with,
as some may find when selecting their sim
lies. Says writer: Speak of a mans mar
BILE brow, and he will glow with conscious
is mad in a minute" The young lecturers
'siniles We're gathered in a heap" when he
expressed the whole body Of hi, argument on
deceit in the following: "Oh, my brethren,
the snowicst shirt front may conceal an
aching bosom, and the stifest OF all collars
encircle throat that has many bitter pill
to swallow"
PlagnristS are species Of purloiners who
L. 4. L. x. 81. l.,
then throw sway O. attempt to destroy the
basket.
PC&EETT PARAGRAPHS
1t has been truly said that the abilities of
man must fall short on one side or other, like
too scanty 4 blanket when you are in bed; if
you pull it upon your shoulders, you leave
your feet bare; il you thrust it down upon
your feet, your shoulders are uncovered. The
man, we are told, who has not anything to
boast Of but his illuStrious ancestors, is like Il
potato-the only good belonging to him being
under ground.
A man at dinner in evening dress has been
ikened to 4 conundrum; you can't tell
whether he is a waiter or guest. Yankee,
describing lean opponent said: That man
doesn't amount to sum in arithmetic; add
him UP and there's nothing 30 carry" An
III IcNIe"iIlS JOcHl, Salu-
The rhythm sounds like turnps rolling over
q barn floor, while some lines appear to have
been measured with yard stick and others
with a ten-foot pole"
An amusing illustration was given by a
parent when asked by his boy, what is
understood by experimental and natural phil
osophy" The answer was: If any one wants
to borrow money, that is experimental phil
= 81. I. i
that is natural philosophy" Curious and
comical illustrations seem natural to many
children A little girl, suffering from the
mumps, declared she felt as though head
ache had slipped down into her neck Mann
ma, said another youngster, abiding to a
man whose neck was 4 series of great rolls of
flesh, that mans got a double chin on the
back of his neck" A little 3-ycar-old, in ad-
miring her baby brother, is said to have ex-
claimed: Hes got a boiled head, like papa
CURIOUS SMILES.
Talking OF curious similes-among the
southern language of India is the TcloOgoo or
Telinga 50 rough in pronunciation that a
traveller Of the nation speaking it before a
ruler OF Bokhars, admitted that its sound re-
sembled 'the tossing of a lot of pebbles into
sack" A smile for scarlet stockings is fire
hoSe-laughter is the sound you hear when
your hat blows ofT-and trying to do business
without advertising is said to be like wink
ing at a girl in the dark An unpOetical
Yankee has described ladies' lips rs the Glow
ing gateway of beans pork, sauCrkraUt and
potatoes This would provoke Merryat's cz.-
clamatiOn Of Such a metaphor | never met
afore." Much more complimentary was the
old darky'S neat reply to a beautiful young
lady whom he offered to lit over a gutter,
and who insisted she was too heayv. "Lor
missy" said he, Use used to lifting barrels of
sugar" Wit from mans mouth is like q
mouse in a hole; you may watch the hole all
day. and no mouse come out; but 10y and by,
when no one is looking for it, out pops the
mouse and streams across the parlOr,
Marrying woman for money, says q
philosopher, is very much like setting rat
trap and batting it with your own finer.
An American writer says: - man with
one idea always puts me in mind of an old
goose trying to hatch out paving stone
Ar editors siInile of mans career is
summed up in the line: mans a vapor full
of woes, and starts paper, busts and goes"
We all recollect how the Bath waters were
associated in Weller's mind with the flavor
OF warm natirons.' The humorist who
created that character was often reminded OF
a printers parenthesis by the appearance of |
q bowlegged child; and the elongated pupils
of cats eye before bright LIGHT were
hkoned by him 10 two notes OF admiration" (