St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-09-12

| ter and has perfect right TO get up on the
summit of a man and look off, whether
there is horseback lowering around in
the vicinity or not.
The bicycle is noted for its proud,
naughty disposition, and no matter how
humble were the circumstances under
which it was born, it always moves through
the street with majestic mien, and a
liability to step on people who happen to
linger around the thoroughfare while it is
out on the still hunt / admit that there
ought to be some scheme devised fer curb
| ing the proud spirit of the bicycle, but just
how to do it is hard to determine. A large
ak, with an energetic railroad man attached
to the handle has been thought of, but in
cases where the experiment has been tried
the bicycle has worn the railroad man down
to small point. ard strobe off the field of
battle with cold, Winnipeg stride.
| | have myself held executive sessions
with the bicycle, and [ can testify to the
natural conceit that burns in its bosom. /
could not help being impressed with its
business-like manner. 1t would not be
subdued. 1 have repeatedly placed my
heel on its neck and tried to crush its arro-
gance, but it would always look up at me
in a dreamy sort of a way, and a
sigh would convulse its bosom, and
by the time that the sigh
had stopped convulsing, 1 would be lying
on my back looking up into the face OF the
naughty bicycle, as it sat on my stomach
with its elbows on its knees, looking down
at me with Yankee Doodle expression on
its frontiSpiece as proud as ever.
AN EXPERIENCE.
One morning three years ago received
information that there was bicycle adj
dressed to me lying at the express office.
bound hard and fast and it was suggested
to me by the individual who sent me the
postal card, that it would not be considered
unprofeSsonal if l should come down to
the office, identify the property and lead it
away. At that time was dividing my
time between keeping jumpers off my tree
claim and editing municipal court in a
diminutive town in North Dakota. There
hadn't very many bicycles strayed into that
town. In fact, the one received was the
first one that the inhabitants had seen. 1t
had been sent to me by a man
in the East whom 1 supposed was
my dearest friend. but this dream was
somewhat wiped out the following day
With pictures of myself sitting proudly
astride the bicycle, riding swiftly through
the streets of the town between rows of
admiring citizens, wondering how L man
aged to suspend myself between heaven and
earth, tripped down to the express office
with light and airy trip and identified the
property. The Identification cost me some
| thing over SS5. | unbound the high
spirited offspring of a diseased brain, and
, led it out of the express office and up the
street. My neighbors locked their doors
and watched me stride by from behind the
| Ioi, nd ~,
and was highly elated over the amount of
brown stone awe that / was spreading
around in the community. 1t surrounded
me with an air of dignity, an article that l
used a good deal of in my business as
editor in-chief of bright-featured munich
pal court.
AS my bicycle showed signs of being a
trihe weary with travel concluded to give
it rest, and leading it around the house
through the back yard and into the wood
shed l tied it up where it would be impOSSi-
BILE for it to get into an alteration with the
saw horse or gnaw a hole through the
wainscoting and agreed to assemble with
it in convention the following morning. 1
passed a restless night. My sleep was full
of gay dreams and [ would sink into the
arms of blonde nap, only to imagine my
self Waiting through the air in the embrace
of coquettish bicycle. l suppose would
converse in words unbecoming to married
man outside of the family, for l would in
variably awake with start and find Mrs.
Holmes engaged in bruising the back of a
spawned chair with my shoulder blades and
other articles of anatomy. Once | thought
l was on my bicycle chasing jumper off
my claim, when l suddenly awoke and
found myself
ASTRIDE THE HEADBOARD
of the bed yelling: You're my prisonerr'
while Mrs. II. stood in the dim light of a
cheap candle endeavOring to dislodge me
with the raw emf of a brOOmStick. I es-
tablished more incompatibilty in the family
in that one night than l had succeeded in
establishing during the ten years that 1
had been furnishing food for two and con-
cocting lies when my business kept me out
late nights. l haven't yet been able to
bring back the bright flush of happiness to
the cold, wan cheek of my wife.
It was a little past 10 o'clock the follow
ing morning when protruded through the
back door and made my way to the wood
she'd My wife had never seen a bicycle
and | thought after practicing a little while
l would ride around to the front door and
surprise her with an exhibition of trick rid
| ing. L unclaimed my proud bicycle
and led it out into the yard, so
| full OF bright sunshine and open
face tomato cans. 1t shifted the
morning breeze and look of ambition
came into its eyes. Slowly 1 led the saga
cious, nickel-plated whrlwind up to the
fence and climbing up l suddenly threw NV
legs lovingly around its neck and smiled
triumphantly as we moved away in the di-
| -, ooh Ho, =. 4
corner. L can't say positively whether the
bicycle remained with me until l reached
that repository for cremated wood or not.
1 know that L arrived there a few minutes
ahead of time. When I had succeeded in
tipping the barrel over, and had untangled
myself from the contents the bicycle was
J reclining on its left side a few feet away.
with melancholy look on its face. | went
over and assisted it to rise and asked it &c
excuse me for leaving so suddenly, but ]
thought the ash barrel was on fire. l had
to get off to put it out. The lofty-spirited
bicycle seemed to have, no enmity against
me. Arm in arm we walked over to the
fence, where / again embraced it as before
It has always seemed strange to me thai
that part of the country should have
SUFFERED AN EARTHQUAKE
shock just at that time. The moment thai
| locked my feet around the neck of the
bicycle, the earth upheaved immediately
under us, and the articles of back yard brio.
a-brac seemed to prance around us as
though they had got up a grand march fol
our benefit. An old hen coop that had suf.
fered with pulmonary trouble for LONG
time, came over and hung affectionately on
my neck; my wifes clothes line, that had
always seemed to feel above me, twin ed it.
self lovingly about my body; potato patch
over which I had kept tender vigil for a