Connecticut western news., 1886-10-20

So away with shadows, away, away.
 -Hot Berte n Rssreitzn W RSss,; A Modest Mans Adventure.
 If there is one thing in this world that l hate more than another it is an even- ing party, whether it take the form of tea, music, and twaddle, or come in the more awkward guise of a regular dance. Unfortunately, am short and ill-fa- vored. Indeed, I can we'll remember even now the rage and grief which pos sessed my youthful mind when discov- cred that I was called "The Toad" by my school companions, and how that our old coachman, who was my ally and confidant in those days, could find no better words of consolation than '.Never you mind, Master Jack you let lem talk, pack of young impertinences. What say is 'andsome is as handsome does"
 Time has but accentuated my many personal defects, of which I am painfully conscious, and the result is that I am shy, gauche and nervous in society,".
 One fell and dreadful day (mark it, O Time, with the blackcst letter in thy calendaD was invited by my cousins to esquire them to dancing party at South Kensington. I made feeble excuses; they were ovenu'ed. I appealed to my respected mother; alasl she thinks only need bringing out to bccomo an enter taining ornament to society.
 We'll, I gave in. What would you have me to doa Ugly as I am, I can't help seeing that Kate is most pleasing person. find it difficult to say "No" to any one, and an impossibility in the case of this lovely cousin of mine.
 Kate and Millicent are what are called ''fne girls" and am not sure that I did not catch the ghost of grin upon tho long list of flunky faces in the hall as stumbled along in my tight boots, with Kate on my right arm and Mlli- cent on my left, and both of them talk ing to one another over my head, alasl
 The ballroom was long oblong, and opposite to the end where the musicians were stationed there was a kind of all cove or bay window, in which was placed one of those large circular otto- mans which have a cushioned seat all round, and on top of the lounge a re- ceptacle which is filled with foliage, plants and dropping ferns. Now, could anything be more enticing to man of my retiring disposition7 If could only get behind that happy ottoman, behold me blissfully concealed until the gen. eral move to supper should drag me from my resting place. Fortune favored me for once. But just as l was begin ming to realize the pleasantness of my seclusion and the relief from the shy ness which assails mo in public I felt a most depressing sleepiness creeping over me.
 I must have slept soundly for some time, but at last, suddenly, and with a startled and chilly feeling, I awoke. Confused at first I could not imagine where was or how my ordinary sleeping attire had become changed into the claw. hammer coat and other male habiliments of evening society. However, as crept round the ottoman, and peering out from my corner, saw wide stretch of white hoor-cloth, dimly lighted, before me, and marked the music stands at the othel end of the room, the dreadful trutf burst in upon me; they had all gon' down to supper. Now in my purturba ton at the prospect of going to the abom inable dancing party I had been unable to attack my dinner with my usua robust appetite. Twas therefore, raven ously hungry. Moved by a desire to ea and drink at whatever cost to my con stitutional modeaty, and agonized at thu fear lest the supper should be over and the debris thereof cleared away before
 could obtain what began to want witl an increasing craving, it struck me tha t would be quite possible for me t glide into the sfpper-room among tn servants, who }uld be constantly goins in and coming out.
 slipped quietly down the stairs, ant soon found myself close to them. Nov was my opportunity, and l was just go ing to seize it, when fend in human shape, a waiter in evening dress, pushed huge dish of strawberries into m, hands, saying in that unpronounceabl cockney twang, "now then swaney, (m, mother calls my hair auburn) look alive Take those yere strawberries round and mind you don't spill 'em."
 Not single minutes time was giver mo for approximation or explanation other walters were pushing on behind and before could gather my scattere' wits l found myself in the brilliantl lighted supper room, among the hire walters, and with an enormous dish c fruit in my hands. What was l to do I had not moment to decide. .Th horror of being seen in such too-ridie culous position terrified me, and 1 foun
 myself handing round the fruit, with
 waiter following me with cream an <mear. Imagine the awful state of m nind when l approached my cousins
 TIT v9s closs together, separated onl - netner ef oos of them. I coul
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