Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-02-27
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE are two Glasses who do not bear
prosperity--one of them being those who do
not get chance to bear it.-Yonkers Gdsette.
A CORRESPONDENT wants to know how to
keep cider from working Undue 10 with So
clalslic ideas. Nothing works that has them.
-Btn0hdzetOD ReDubLic0n
1T Wasn't His Turn to Write.-''What shall
say TO your wife for yOug Don't YOU wish
10 send her last meSsage?' asked the Dhy
slclan mo, / guess not" said the dying
man. 81 wrote To her last. It'd Bits.
A PRIZE OBITUARY POEM on Gen. Grant is en-
titled ~ Cadfrdog Grant" Its in Welsh,
and Is deep poe nc feeling may he inferred
rom the sentiment expressed in the opening
I'm" Du lwth Or yr Unol Dalaethian. "-Aeao
York GrGlhic.
Mr.. YOUNG. of Wabasha, Mimi. locked his
vile in the use MIR. POTTS. of PekIn. Wis,
locked his wife out OF the house. and now
both women are sung for divorce. 1t GER
AMY Is difficult tting to please a woman
Ne'o York COlaDercjdt Ad0ertiser-
THE contest in this city for the champion
mean man beit," is wag'ng hot. The last APP
lcant mas the consump ion, ami Is trying TO
persuade an undertaker's daughter to marry
MIN, 80 that he will he a1le to get lower rates
on his funeral expenses - N6t0 Hd0en Neaes.
AT recent meeting OF sorosis in New York
NJ IS ParOa startled the ladies' by asking,
How many of you know how to boil DO a.
o" t Is rather Singular that Mis- ParlOa
should have mistaken meeting Of the bright
est women In New York for an intelligence
ofhce.-NOrristosom Her0ld.
PHENOMENAL: First merchant-I don't
employ Puhlico any more. He Is too expen-
siVe a lawyer for me.
Second merchant-why. he told me his fee
was nominal.
First merchandise meant phenomenal,
You simply misunderstood hIm-Yeto York
COhasercjdJ.
"soME folks say I'm conceited," remarked
Pnpniufav IN of Ia I'm, NOT
l don't believe in hiding what talent I've got
under a bushel, that's ALL" "That's where
you are right. young m n" exclaimed by
stander. apprOvingiy, Il wouldn't waste a
bushel on it if l were you. A small-sized pint
measure would be amply sufficient. "-SONsSr-
viJIe journal.
DID She Hear with Her Mouth? -
Mamma" said johnny, 'can anybody hear
with their moUth2'
mo, child, don't think they cam replied
the mother.
"Then, mamma. what made Mr.. Jones tell
sister he wanted TO tell her something. and
nut his lips to her mouth instead of her earsP'
-AsrcAGAt Irdoefer.
DE KAGGs-Newspapers! I'm sick of them
Full of lies, every one.
DuscnDur9 II on are too severe.
lam l? Listen to me. | had private
party at my house the other night, and just to
make the neighbors feel tired / mentioned TO
A reporter that had IA guests dozen prom
inent army and navy officers, two Judges, a
professor, and a famous traveller. Gave the
reporter their names, you understand"
"WellY
'Well, what did the paper dop Come out
with an accurate account OF the AFFAIR! O, /
tell YOU, the tyranny Of the press is awfulv ~
PHILADELPHIA CGH.
CAST ASHORE on lone, barren isle
In the sea into which flows the Nsle.
With no clothes but battered old tisle-
From full suit rather scant psle-
/ of course could not dress with much stisle,
v lille dwelt in that residence vislo;
But as there WIS no one to smisle,
/ managed the years to Oegise-
That had else been long. weary whsle
With many a scroll in my tisle,
Aud IN my an innocent wisle.
rhat kept in God order my bsle:
Till n ship that sailed many misle
Brought me home from my weary exisle,
And this way the tale place on fi-le
With the trust that It no one will risle.
-R0yriStoa5n Herald