Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-08-21

The capital of the Third National
Bank of Cincinnati, 81 100000, is most
ly owned by the fairer sex.
1t matters not whether home is
clothed in blue and purple, if it is
brimful of love, smiles and gladness.
"Welcome, little strangerw as the
man said when he found half a dollar
within the lining of an old waistcoat.
Ex-Governor Moses, of South Caro-
lima, is pining and failing fast in the
Massachusetts, penitentiary. He is
the only instance in American histo-
ny where an Ex-Governor became a
common convict.
els there anything wrong in kiss
ing?" he asked her, as they stood to-
gether at the garden gate. Certain
ly there is" she brisklyreplied; then
slowly and softly added, after pause,
"if there's anyone looking"
The most foolish thing woman
can do is to marry man with bad
habits with the hope, of reforming
him. If she cannot reform him be-
fore marriage she willnever have the
ghost of a show after the ceremony.
Boy-"Father wants three pounds
of steak, and will bring the money
around tomorrow"
Butcher-"Wait until tomorrow
comes, bub, and then you won't have
to make two trips"
Gibbs-"So the man was killed up
at the hotel, was hep" Squibbs-"Yes
shot right in the rotunda." Gibbs
"Great Scott! No wonder it killed
him. That's a terrible place to hit a
man."
"Did you know | met George last
EVENING"" said a young lady conf
dentially to her friend. "Why l
thought there was a GOODNESS between
you" $50 there was. We had some
ice-cream.
The evil consequences resulting
from impure blood are beyond hui
man calculation, so are the vast sums
expended in worthless remedies.
Parsons Purgative Pills make new
rich blood, and taken one a night fol-
three months will change the blood
in the entire system.
Washington Lawyer-"You say
you are entitled to a pension?" Pa
triot-"Yes, think So" Lawyer
"Were you wounded?" Patriot
"No, but l laid out $500 in hard cash
for substitute" Lawyer-"Ah, yes
l see. Just give me a $40 bill and
fill out that blank"
China is said to have very poor
soil, and yet it is the best-famed coun
try in the world. 1t supports its i'm
mense population of 300, 100000, anC
has done this for, perhaps, Thousands
, of years. They grow no weeds, anC
save everything that will make man
ure-nothingi is allowed togo to waste
A man cannot play fast and loos,
with his reputation, indulge in vari
J Gus questionable transactions, anC
t then have men place implicit trust il
his honor and integrity. Characte
is capital that we can all start will
but it is one which, having been one
dissipated, can never be entirely re
gained.
elbow many toes has a cat?" Thi
was one of the questions asked of ;
, certain class during examination weel
and simple as the question appears t.
: be, none could answer it. In TIN
emergency, the Principal was applied
| to for a solution and he also, with ;
good-natured smile, gave it up, whel
r one of the teachers, determined no
to be beaten by a simple question, hi
+ on the idea of sending out a delega
S ton of boys to scour the neighboI
S hood for cat. When this idea wa
t announced the whole class wanted t
t join in the hunt. Several boys wen
!. out and soon returned successful. /
returning board was at once appoint
d ed and the toes counted, when to tn
relief of all it was learned that a ca
d possesses Is toes, 10 on the front an
r s on the hind feet.
IL A great many people do not SUI
coed because they are afraid of NAL
II ing blunders. They are too cautious
i and pay no attention to the sayin
Ii "nothing venture, nothing have.
Z 1t is only through failure that any
us ultimately attain success, and oil
mistakes are often the steppingston,