Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-09-28
ABOUT MARRIAGE.
Some Plain Talk to Women by One OF tho
Most Noted of Their Sex.

Some Plain Talk to Women by One of the
Most Noted of Their Sex.
Whether they are sufficiently honest
to acknowledge it or rot, nincty-ninc
girls out of every hundred look forward
to marriage as matter of course 1t
would be better for them and for their
future husbands were this taken into
account in the training of girls, and
without teaching that single life must
be empty and unsatisfactory, yet in
struct them that, as matrmony will |
probably be their destiny, they should |
fit themselves for it, not only by train
ing in domestic duties, but by the study |
of gentlcness, forbearance and unselfi5 b |
ress.
A blessed provision of nature often
overlooked is the change worked in a
woman's disposition by love. If the
sentiment be worthy of the name, the
deep, strong affection from which alone |
marriage should spring, and moi a mere
passing fancy, the tendencies will be to |
awaken ali that is best and noblest in
the heart. "Old things arc passed |
away, all things are become new"
Looked at by this fresh, true light, litt,c
deprlvations, petty economies, small |
sacritices-and even large ones-be-
come a burden 10 be embraced and en- |
ioyed for the sake of the one with whom |
they are shared.
Occasionally wife may be found
who Is sufficiently devoid of womanli-
ness and generosity as to sigh over the
immunity from care she knew before
her marriage and to rcproach the hus-
band of her choice with his inability to
provide her with the luxuries she
Graves. Such creature, however,
would not have tccn improved by
wealth. Sometimes prosperity seems
to have a sweetening and cnnoblng Of.
feet upon natures which adversely has
narrowed and hardened, but us a rule
those who can not stand poverty with
out becoming embittered arc not fit for
riches
Tho custom Of early marriages has,
perhaps wisely, fallen into disuse. The
title OF "old maid is no longer con-
ferred upon woman who remains SIN
gle until twenty-five. More girls marry
within year or two after that age than
five years before it. There are both
advantages and disadvantages in the
former system. Youthful judgement is
prone to be harsh and unsparing, and
it may well be questioned whether the
larger proportion of happy marriages
are not these formed after twenty-three
rather than earlier.
Another objection to boy and girl
matches is that they are likely to be tho
result of accident instead of choice.
The fancy is readily captivated when
one has seen little of the world, and
many a man or woman in later life
shrinks with repugnance from mar
riagc which seemed altogether desirable
when neither was out of the teens. Ex-
ceptions to this only prove the rule.
Its truth may be attosted by the fact
that there is not one man or woman out
of fifty who will not acknowledge hay-
ing been the victim Of some youthful
fame of which the memory br' 'ngs no
pang, hut only sensation of amuse-
ment slightly tlnctured with disgust
The youthful love is very real, too
while it lasts and causes such alterna-
tions of bliss and misery as TO fairly
persuade the sufferers that it is the right
thing. But it differs as completely from
the affection of ripper years as do tho
stumbling, tottering steps of child
from the firm, assured tread of man.
The early marriages of our grand
parents arc sometimes quotel in justif-
cation of the practice, but times have
changed since then. In spite of the
hustle and hurry that make ten years of
the nineteenth century equal to forty
of the seventeenth, the age
at which young men and women
conclude their scholastic education
and launch themselves into the world
of business or pleasure is steadily grow
ing later, Boys and girls colleges are
increasing the age at which pupils are
admit 1t used to be thought noth-
ing unusual for youth to begin his
collegiate course at fourteen; now it is
equally common for him to postpone
his matriculation until he is seventeen
or eighteen. Few girls are graduated
from finishing schools or seminarics
under nineteen or twenty; while those
| who take regular college course con-
tinue their routine of study even later.
The girl wants her swing in society BE-
fore she settles down TO married life,
while the man has his business or pro-
fession to acquire and his position to
gain in the world before he can serious
| ly contemplate taking unto himself a
wife.
If special training be necessary in
the preparation of woman for mar
riage, IL is no less important for a man.
This is a fact that is generally over
looked. A great deal is said about tho
beauty OF gentleness and unselfishness
in woman, and of the need of her
possession of these qualities in making
true home happiness But unless these
facts are glaringly apparent in man
they rarely provoke adverse criticism.
The question is sometimes asked upon
the announcement of an engagement,
'Is he good enough for herp" but his
pcccadilloes are seldom submitted to the
keen examination TO which hers arc
subjected.
1t is common habit to lay the blanc
upon woman's shoulders il homo is
not peaceful and happy, except in cases
whore the husbands well-known vices
preclude this. Even then there are al
ways censors ready to hint that if the
woman had made domestic life all it
should be she would probably have less
cause for complaint. While open courses
of extravaganza, intemperancc or inf
deity are cruelty hard to bear, there arc
other less palpable trials that are nearly
as wearing. The tricks Of speech, man
ner and conduct that offend in woman
are equally distressing in q man. Tho
habit of carelesaness, the gradual fall
ing away OF tho minor courtesies Of
word and bearing that marked the bo-
trotha days are folt kconly by those
women who suffer from them. although
pride and loyalty may alike prevent
complaint - Christian 7erhuRe Herrink,
in Philadelphia Press.
-~ -