davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

And by this we do not mean a limited
credit to a favored few-wealthy and
prOmpt-paying citizens-but to all, both
rich and poor, CASH on delivery Of goods.
The question OF responsibility IS not con
sidered. Our terms are CASH ONLY,
and we shall treat all alike and impair
TALLY.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
Drtrrinarian.
Yeterlnary I%nnrmarY.

Cor. South Broad and Randolph sts.
hrs. GEO. r. MATTHEWS. A. VS.. OIL
u YER STEERS. o. ". s.. Graduate Vete-
rinary Surgeons, treats al diseases OF Horses,
Cattle, sheep and Dogs. Largest and best ar
ranged inhrmary in the South. Horse DeD-
tietry n speciality. Post norton examinations
mace and reported on. Calls promptly at
tended 70, and where always 4 Veterinary
surgeon can be found day aud night. 1cic-
Dh0ne No. 413.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
CHEAPADVERTlSRN
One Cent a Word.

ADVERTISEMENTS, 10 Words or
more, in this column (the best in the paper)
inserted for ONE CENTA WORD, Cash
IN AdvGnce, each Insertion.
EUerybody aohO has any toant TO supply,
anything TO bay or to sell, Qay business or
accommodations to secure, indeed. any lotSh
to crafty. Sbould ddrertiSe in this column.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

Some predict that this system could not
be successfully run in Savannah, but we
have no fears on that score. Our citi-
zens are too leyel-headed and intelligent
to oppose any legitimate, progressive
business method, even though it be an
innovation. which is so clearly to the
benefit of both buyer and seller.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
HOUSE AND Ion An AUCrIoN.

For account and risk OF former purchaser.
1. ID. LaROCHE'S SONS, Auotioneers.
On MONDAY, the 18th day of April, at (
O'Clock p. NJ, on the premises No. 100 Waldl
burg street, between Jefferson and Mont
gomery streets, 4
West one-half lot No. 50 Lloyd ward and
improvements, consisting Of a handsome resi-
dence containing on the first floor three rooma.
kitchen, and pautrles; second floor. live bed
rooms. bath and water closet; water and gas
All through the house; size of lot 30 feet 4
inches by los feet, subject to an annual ground
rent of -. !
This is a nice home, well built. in a splendid
neighborhOod, and located on the highest
point in Chatham county. )
TERMS CASH.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
aariiom sales future paus.
''Ten Building Lots to be Sold at
Auction on the Premises"


win cell on the premises, at 4 O'clock
THURSDAY AFTERNOON. the 22d April,
1885, Z
six Lots on the north side OF New Houston,
betw cen Burroughs and Cuyler streets, each
lot 20Xl05 feet. 4
Three Lots on the south side of Duffy. be-
tween Burroughs and Cuyler streets, each loa
20N1O5 feet.
One Lot on the north side Of Duffy street.
between Burroughs and Cuyier. measuring
S0xlO5.
Terms: One-third cash, one-thIrd 10 twelve
months. one-third IN twcntv-four months,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
PIANOS ) ORGANS

Which we sell, as usual, on Easy Install
ments and long time. In this trade we
have regular CASH Prices, which are as
Low as can be made. And our Install
ment prices are higher. We are also Sc
cured from loss and safe in selling on long
time. Hence, there is no need Of selling
these instruments On a strict Cash
Basis. Nor can any house offer any Cash
prices which we annOt more than dupli-
cate.
CASH, Of course, buys cheapest; but
for very easy terms Of payment we charge
but a slight advance.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

No mistake about it, for we have always
sold strictly upon the ONE PRICE
SYSTEM, and our goods are all marked in
plain figures, 50 that a child can buy as
cheap as the closest buyer. The prices
are unchanged, but we now deduct 10 per
cent. from them. All ear see the prices
and pay accordingly-less 10 per cent.
That's the way we benefit buyers under
u New System. CASH only. This re-
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
Austion Salro Gn.Dau.
SALE CONTINUED.
P~latfOrmSGaleS, COttOnTieS, etc.
By ]. Mclaughlin & Son.

THIS DAY, at Il O'Clock, at large warehouse
cor. B%roughton street and East Boundary,
Platform Scales. ali sizes; Show Case, Coun.
ter, new and Old Rope, lot OF Junk, Nails,
splendid Coffee Mill, Circular Saws, Ship's
Bell, Rigging, Beer Pump, Wire, oakums
Chronometer. cost ESQ sterling.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

LADIES In san Francisco do not consider
born 10 blush unseen. 10 Is not
enough for them TO lock uut Of the'widows OF
t1eir housea-they must needs at outside tlcm
To this eud "a safety seat for ladtcs
has been constructed, and is az present IN fun
vogue The float Of u san Francisco house
lifted with tho new invention must present
r athcr b curious spectacle, but une. no doubt,
which TIE male population OF that city regard
with apDrociatlVe interest.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
9narotmn.
E1afflr,
2attorruaitrnua.

MONEY TO LEND at reasonable rates;
w send descri ption of security; general
"a merchandise exchanged for mortgages. CIV.
FOSIhR. b Fnlton street.. New York.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

HAIRCUrTIEG, h|aircutting, haircutting.
IL suitable for hot weather and hrst-class
in every sense of tho word. by EMILE
FAUNA-FEGEAS, B%rOughton street, be-
tween Bull and DraytOn.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

XNANTED.-Wanted. everyone TO know
w that we have Easter Cards, Prayer
Books. Base Balls, Bats, Croquet, etc. and
among new things "a Book Knapsack and an
Historical Atlas. WILLY & CLARKE.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17

ID DIS
j.. Heart
/ in AZ.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-17
I WILL sell this day only 100 good cigars for
j 81 81. GAAAN, BnlI and Broughton.

MILK SHAKES with shaved ice. Soda Wa
WI ter with pure fruit syrups, at LIVING
SHOWS Pharmacy. Bun and slale.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
Mr.. GladstOnes Land Bill.

Mr.. Gladstone in presenting his land
purchase bill for Ireland Friday, re-
marked that Parliament would hardly
gain an adequate idea of it without
close inspection. That he spoke with
in bounds will be evident from peru
sal of the dispatch reporting his ad-
dress. The Premier proposes to issue
G5O,000,000 new consOls on account of
the Irish EXchequer; but whether this
sum is to be in addition to the $780,
100000 new per cents already author
lied or to be included in that issue is
not entirely clear. The House inter-
preted it apparently to mean an addi-
tiOnal burden. This money would be
used by the State authorities to buy
out the landlords and put the peasants
in possession as absolute proprietOrs,
subject to an annual rent charge until
the total payments equalled the pur-
chase money. The standard of land
value would be the judicial rental of
1915 or in cases where that had not
been fixed, a Land Commission would
decide. This scheme, Mr.. Gladstone
believed, would save England over
100000 a year. Mr.. Chamberlain OBJ
jected that Ireland might repudiate the
obligation, and that the landlords
might then make n run on England for
the whole amount of their claims for
compensation, which would far exceed
G50,000,000. This remark is said to
have had great effect upon the Com
mons, which was natural enough, since
it appealed to their pockets as taXpay-
ers-NelU York Tribune.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
Did He Steal a Shirt 2

"Nat," said the Justice of the Peace,
you are charged with stealing shirt. y
'Tain't true, boss"
II do not say that it is. The charge
says that you stole the shirt, and it is
my business to find out whether YOU
did or not do So"
"Jedge, yer amt been lettin' desc
men fool wild yer, has yer?"
THAT makes no difference. You are
charged with stealing shirt. Are you
guilty or not ?"
"Jedge, dar's two sides ter ebery
question. Yerse'f is er smart man,
an
THAT makes no difference. Did you
or did you not steal the shirt ?"
Neber seed sich cou't as ez dis. Err
man hain't got no chance er tall.
Makes er man feel 'shamed a. his self.
Neber seed de like in mer life."
THAT makes no difference. want
to know whether or not you stole the
shirt?"
"Yerse'f is er Jestice O. de Peace,
amt yer?"
YES"
"Wall, l doan' think dat is my place
ter tell yer whudder or not l stole de
shirt. Yer hab been pryin' too much
inter my biznez. stole de shirt, but
it amt none o. yo' biznez. Dis heah is
er free country, Go on er way, white
mani spise ter see such a cuis pus-
son. n."-ArkGRsGs Traveller.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
Detained on the Road.

"When l lived in Kansas" said a
Detroiter, who was telling stories in an
insurance Office few days ago, Il in
sured my house with an agent against
fire. Along came another agent who
insured against lightning, and l took
that in. In few days "a chap called
on me who insured against cyclones,
and struck bargain with him. The
next caller insured against water
spouts and explosions, and Thought l
might as well encourage him."
"A house couldn't be much safer
than that" remarked one of the listen
ers.
"And yet l lost it inside of six
months"
How could it be?"
Well, there came freshet in the
river, and house, barn, fences, hay
stacks and all went sailing down stream.
The agent who insured against freshets
got there just one day too late"
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
Stump Speech.

Out in Indiana beneath the line fence
of William Stump and Thomas Thump
stood an old stump with great long
roots extending either way, some into
Stump's field and some in Thumps.
Thump had told Stump that it was
his place to move that stump, and
Stump said Thump had thumped the
tree down down with his axe, jumped
the wood and it was his place to move
the stump.
So the stump was left till twigs and
switches had grown around it, when
one day it happened Thump and Stump
were plowing the fields adjoining the
stump and their plOws came bump,
bump against the stump. Stump told
Thump he would thump Thump if he
did not move that Stump. ThereupOn
Thump stumped Stump to. thump
Thump, when Stump jumped the
fence, broke young stump and
thumped Thump around his sumps ker
thump.
Thump not to be outdone by Stump,
raised Jumps like humps all over
Stump which proves Thump n trump.
Stump thumped Thump with the
stump and Thump thumped Stump
with his thumpers. Stump thumped
Thump and Thump thumped Stump
till Thump had no more thump in him
when Thump clumped Stump and
dumped him over the stump and pro-
ceeded to crump his hair. Neigh6ors
appearing on the scene separated
Thump and Stump and took them
home.
Mrs. Stump and Mrs. Thump now
say their husbands are laid up with
the mumps. Anyway, as the story
was told to me, between the thumps,
stumps, jumps, Jumps, bumps, humps,
clumps, crumps and the mumps, it was
hard to tell who was thumped. Mean
while the old stump is still standing.
MAX MAxEY.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

In the havoc it wrought the tornado
which has just visited three towns in
Minnesota has had but one parallel in
this country for several years-that
which moved down the northwestern
part of Grinwell, Iowa, on June II,
1882, and ravaged two or three villages
near by, killed sixty-four persons Mt
least, and injured about one hundred
and fifty. 1t is fortunate that these
destroyers keep within narrow paths.
They number ON an average, more
than hundred every season between
March and October, travel fifty or a
hundred miles before dying out, and
possess a fury far exceeding that of the
iiercest hurricance; but they would
leave track more than a hundred
feet in breadth. The swath cut through
st. Cloud, for instance, was only four
blocks wide. AS a result of this fact,
the chances are small that tornado
will strike any considerable collection
of human dwellings. 1t is more likely
to take its journey across farm and
forest.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
WHOLE NO. 1904.
A Plantation Poet,
OLD MIKE THOMPSON, A NEGRO, AND
HIS WONDERFUL BOOK OF VERSE.

Mike Thompson, an old colored man
from Wilson county, was in Nashville.
mixing among his aquaintances, and
among others upon whom he made a call
was his old friend the american. Mike
is an original character and a born
rhymer, and the author of a small
work which he calls "Rhymes and
Chimes from the Old Plantation" He
Is also the author of quite a number of
unWrltten plantation songs, set to banjo
music, some of which are very popular
among his music-loving neighbors. He
mas an excellent idea of negro senti-
ment, and loves to speak of his "young
marsters befo' de war"
He refers often with apparent sad
ness, to his associations with them.
many of these recOllections he has
clothed in verse, and intends, at some
future day, to give them to the public
IN printed form. "Old Nike" for the
amusement of his hearers, recited a
number of his productions.
BOSS, tell you what's so, and what
you'll find out to be true; there is
something in every one of my songs.
You may not see it at first, but if YOU
watch close, you'll find it certain.
Some folks say, 'Oh, a nigger can't
make poetry but tell you, if nigger
has sense enough, he can do almost
anything anybody else can. But that
reminds me that l have a song about the
nigger that they don't like much. 1t
amt very popular with them, but still
there's heap of truth in it."
Sing it, Uncle Mike"
All right, I'll sing it-just wait till
that fellow stops talking over there"
"Well," resumed Mike, after a mo-
ment's pause. This song is headed:
THE Niger WILL ACT THE NIGGER.
''rm niger man as you see.
Although cut this figure,
MheTver you go you'll always see
The Niger act the niger.
Strike him at any time you will,
He'll scratch his head and singer
know this is a bitter pill,
But niger will act nigger.
Dress him up in silk so fine
Till he cuts a dudish figure;
Watch him close and give him time,
You'll find he'll act the niger.
Learn him all you can in books,
Teach him any figger.
Put him on his honest looks
And still he'll act the nigger.
81 cut my way through oak and hack
! must be quick on trigger
Mhltewash Niger with lamp black,
And Still he'll act the nigger.
place him in the Presidents chair,
And there he'll laugh and snigger
Before one day, If he stays there,
HOll find he'll act the nigger.
'HOw do you like that ?" inquired
Nike; that amt very popular, as
told you but 1 can't help that"
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
Risky, But She Got There.

"John," she said to the young man
who had been been courting her for
five long years--"John, l sat for
my photograph to-day. / suppose you
want one ?" 80, yes, indeed.n BY
the way, John, l had them taken es-
pecially for some friends in California,
and they want my autograph on the
cards. Now, John, don't know
whether to sign my maiden name or
wait a few months until after / am
married. suppose you do intend to
get married in few months, don't you,
John?" It was a desperate move, but
she won, and in two months both will
be made one.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

Charles Lamb, one afternoon, in re-
turning from dinner party, took his
seat in a crowded omnibus, when a
stout gentleman subsequently looked
in and politely asked. SAIL full inside ?D
" / don't know how it may be, sir, with
other passengers,n answered Lamb,
"but that last piece Of pie did the BUSH
ness for me-"
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

The authorities of Montreal have be-
gun a crusade against the nude in art.
One of the wealthiest gentlemen in the
city will be proceeded against forskeep-
ing in his house copies Of the Venus of
st. Milo, the Venus di Medici. Canova's
Venus, Powers's Greek Slave, the Lao
coon and other works.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

The Rivers and HarbOrs bill is now
before the House and a majority of the
representatives seem to be making
ready to vote with an eye single to the
wishes of their constituents. Over fif-
teen millions are called for by the meas
ure, an immense part of which is made
up of appropriations for projects which
cannot claim National or even real
local Importance. The money is to be
put apparently where it will do the
most good politically. Here, for in
stance, is one million for that great
maritime State, with its great bays and
tide-water harbors, Kentucky, and
another for Missouri.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

FRANK LEsLTE's Popular Monthly
FOR MAY.-"Socialisti Movements in
England and the United States" which
opens the May number of Frank Les
lies Popular Monthly, is a most timely
and well written article. 1t reviews
all the ideal schemes put forward to
bring about a state where all shall
have equal enjoyment with the least
possible labor, where there shall be no
wealth no crime. The article on "Po-
etic Dancing" discourses of the ballet
and its royal founder, King Louis XIV.
William Elliott Grillis takes a stroll
through old Yeddo, and interests us in
old Japanese life. 1.-THE fruit ships at
New York" will surprise many who
have little idea of the enormous value
and variety of foreign fruits that are
brought every year to this one port
which in this respect has no rival on
earth.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

1t appears that the early reports of
the marriage of the eldest son of Mr..
Bayard to a West Virginia lady were
premature. 1t was current gossip last
Fall that young Bayard had fallen in
love with a chambermaid and that he
had insisted upon marrying her in spite
of his fathers objections. 1t now ap-
pears that the marriage has not taken
place. 1t will however, next June.
The young lady is Miss Deacon, the
daughter of summer hotel proprietor
of Fort Pendleton, w. Va. They are
very respectable people, the young
lady is we'll educated and of good re-
pute. Mr.. Bayard has given his full
consent to the marriage. If there has
been any estrangement between the
father and son it has now passed away.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

Good Friday has hitherto been a non-
descript sort of day, devoted partly to
religious Observances and partly to Sec
ular business or enjoyment. according
to religious convictions. A project is
now on foot to emphasize the solemn
import Ofthe day by closing all the the
aters. The principal managers in New
York have signified their willingness
to pay such respect to the church, and
it now rests with that institution to go
and persuade the people to close their
shops and factories on this most sacred
of anniversaries.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

And now it is given out that failing
to get fight out of England, and un-
able to provoke the plucky but saga
ciOus Prince Alexander into offering
himself for destruction, Russia is glar-
ing angrily at Austria. The one power
which the Gar seems to avoid is Ger
many. That amicable angel of peace,
Bismarck, smiles with too grim a Sc
renity.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

The radicalism of Great Britain
seems rising behind Gladstone.
Throughout the length and breadth of
the country Radical clubs, associations,
committees and other forms of local
party organizations are taking up the
question of home rule and voting resO-
lutiOns in support of the Premier and
his Irish policy. The reaction extends
to Scotland and Wales as well as Eng
land. Monster meetings are called for
the recess in most of the important
centers of population, and the excite
ment is extending to the smaller towns
and even remote hamlets. Thus, at
last, the work of rOusing public opin-
ion and calling out the national enthu-
siasm for the Home Rule bill has been
fairly inaugurated. and is proceeding
with the most encouraging prospects.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

"Brer Widemouf! 1 hearn dere's
been fearful eppydermis gOin' on in
yO' congregation ?"
How's that, Brer Yawp?"
"W'y 'cordin' ter de noise l hearn
der last revivin' night I jedged 20 was
bruk out wild de yeller feber."
"Oh, dat hain't nfiin,' Brer Yawp,
case ober in de 'Pisterpal ChG'ch dey
has de collie eb'ry Sund'y. AM dey
ketches it f'om de pra'r book, longer
dat. - YOnkers Gazette.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

The late William H. Vanderbilt's
great. gift of $5O0,OOO to the College of
Physicians and Surgeons was an ex-
ample which his schildren are generous
ly following. Not long ago Mrs. Sloane
and her husband made ample provision
for establishing q model Maternity
Hospital on the new college land, and
Saturday the four Vanderbilt brothers
united in a gift of S250,000 for the
special purposes of the clinical depart
ment. These munifcent benefactiOns
deeply concern the public, whose in
terest in the development of medical
science is vital.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
WondarRuI CuPoa

W. d. IIoyt & Co., Wholesale and Retail Drug
gists Of Rome, Ga, say We have been selling
Dr. Kings New Discovery, Electric Bitters and
BuckleDs ATnica Salve for two years Have
never handled remedies that sell as we'll, OF give
such universal satisfaction. There have been
some wonderful cures effected by these medi-
cines in this city. Several cases Of pronounced
Consumption have been entirely cured by the use
of few bottles Of DR.. Kings New Discovery,
taken in connection with Electric Bitters. We
guarantee them always. Sold by ]. p Hoffecker,
Druggist, Smyrna Del.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21
An Enterprising, Reliable House.

James p. H0ffecker can always be relied upon,
not only 20 carry in stock the best Of everything,
but 70 secure the Agency for such articles as have
pie thereby sustaining the reputation OF being
always enterprising, and ever reliable. Having
secured the Agency for the celebrated Dr: King 8
New Discovery for Consumption, VIII sell IL on
a positive guarantee. Il will surely cure any and
every affection Of Throat Lungs, and Chest, and
20 show our confidence, we invite you 70 call and
get Trial Bottle Free.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

Rev. r. w. Todd's new book,
"Methodism of the Peninsula" will be
issued about May. The manuscript is
now in the hands of the printer. The
book will be twelve-mo., small plea
type, of about 800 pages, neatly bound
in cloth, with an attractive and very
suggestive stamp or cover designed by
the author. Mr.. Todd's reputation rs
a racy and entertaining writer is sufj-
cient guarantee of the excellence of
this forthcoming volume.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

She was the wife of an engineer, and
had baby five weeks old, and in the
little home which his industry had
provided for her they were happy, un-
til an organization professedly for the
protection of labor interfered. 1t or
dered him not to earn any more money
for the wife and baby. But he persisted.
A committee of sO-called Knights
waited on him at the house with a
warning, but met with a refusal. The
same night the house was set on fire,
while he was absent at work and the
wife and baby were in bed. Narrowly
escaping with their lives, they were
turned out oftheir home into the night.
What do honest workingmen think of
that sort of organization ''fOr their bene-
fiji? ?" Is it not u tyranny against which
every American must Indignantly pro-
test? Can any other oppression be more
cruel and unjust than this?
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

To SAVE BIRDs.-The Audubon So
ciety is an organization found in New
York, with branches in all parts of the
country, whose object is to prevent the
present wanton destruction of birds
simply for their plumage. Although
there is a strict law in this state against
the killing of birds for any other pur-
pose than for food. this law is never
enforced and thousands of our game
birds are wantOnly destroyed every
year. That such Society is needed is
now evident from the appearance of
ladies' hats and bonnets. On vast
majority of the hats worn by women
there appears a wing, or the head, or
the head, or both of some bright
plumaged- 1t is easily seen that
either the women must give up the
craze, or we must do without the birds.
One or the other must go.
Smyrna times., 1886-04-21

1t has been ascertained at Washing
ton that the number Of places subject
to civil service examination is $4,000
out of 10000 civil employees of the
government. OF these only 6,000 are
under the departments at Washington.