Morning journal and courier., 1886-04-12
 A banana skin-The Italian fruit vsnder

A banana skin-The Italian fruit vender Life.
 A woman's glory is in her hair, but it is 6 good plan to tie it up when cooking. Texas Siftings.s
 "Why do we weep when we ought tc smilef" sings Nellie O'Neill. We don't know Nellie, nnless it is because of the interference of local option.
 poet asks: s'Why are thy spirits thus concealed?' Because this bar is positively closed on Sunday unless you know the knock Philadelphia Call.
 It was family gathering called to name the baby. The name proposed was William The jury retired and in two minutes returned and reported, ''No Bill l''-Burlington Free Press.
 q dropped $4s, 900 at poker last night, 7" remarked the Hon. Thomas Ochiltree the other day, 'tand the worst of it was that 8 of the amount was in cash. ."-Washington Ratchet.
 An uptown chemist recently analysed a can of strawberry jam and was surprised to Anybody could make strawberry jam out of strawberries. Philadelphia Call.
 Among the things that stnever would be missed" enumerated by exchange is 'fthe high hat feminine in the theater parquet J We are afraid it never will. It would be folly to indulge in such 8 hope.-Boston Courier.
 At breakfast: "Now, Johnnie, you may have this one egg, and don't ask for another. J After eating the egg Johnnie asks for salta' Johnnie: ''I want to put an egg on it.'' -Babyhood.
 This time it is the Crown Prince of Prus- sia who has published book He is more fortunately situated than most literary fel- lows, inasmuch as whether the work sells or not he will get his royalty just the same.- Lowell Citizen.
 Joseph Cook recently said that every one should have an aim in life. We presume MT. Cook does not allude to women. An aim in life wouldn't do them any good. They would never hit it, anyway, unless they inn proved very much in their throwing. g.-Puck.
 Fred (who has just offered himself )-sAnd you won't mind, will you, if we begin on moderate scalea As I still have my fortune to make" She-"Of course not And I do so wish we had known this before the Morgan sale, for should be perfectly satisfied with second hand things. "-Life. He had studied with devotion old Demosthenes and And he thought that he could sully all the fame of
 fus Choate and Henry Clay And he said that Alexander was an antiquated gan.
 der, and in modest, serious candor he could
 fight we'll as he; And he'd raise his Ebenezer and say Hannibal and
 Cesar never could enthuse or please fellow
 with eye to see. He could give a regular sermon on the faults of
 Gen. sherman, and could lecture like German
 on the mistakes of Gen. Grant; And he'd spout, the chronic gusher, and infict 9
 regular crusher on Napoleon in Russia, or the
 war in the Levant; Said twas folly to be taken by Copernicus and Ra
 con, and his faith was sadly shaken in such shal-
 low they; Said he lowered like giant over Emerson and
 Bryant, and he shook his fist defiant at Addison
 and Gray.
 But who is this mighty being so omniscent and far
 seeing, who we cannot help agreeing is human
 ity's chief hope? An, this favorite of Apollo lives in poverty and
 squaIor, and for just paltry dollar works all
 day at making soap. Lynn Union.