The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-03-21
Experentia Docet.

Side, answered Beoe, with becoming dignity.
Experentia Docet.
brakes Travellers Magazine.
Husband-Do you think that our daughter
Clara ought to marry for money alonel
Wife-Certainly.
Husband-But you married for love, my dear.
Wife--I know / did. and that is the reason
why think Clara ought to marry for money,
No Use for the Jewels.
Young Housekeeper Ito fish dealer)-What do
you charge for terrapnl
Dealer-The diamond backs are $4S a dozen,
mum.
Young Housekeeper-Well haven't you got
any without diamonds on their backs that come
cheaperl
Reduced to Plain English.
Lynn Union.
Young Reporter--The storm king hurried his
torn and tumbling torrents over the ruins of the
broken and dislnembered edifce.
!. Old Editor-Whats that? What do you mean,
young fellowa
Y RI er-er the food washed away Patrick
McDougal's old soap factory.
Two Angelic Pictures.
Lowell Citizen.
They were arguing about the usefulness of
What would you think" said the minister,
impressively, ''if you met an angel coming down
the street with cigar in his mouths"
What" retorted the sinner, would you
think if you saw one in plug hat and pair Of
ear nuns coming up the streetr
In the Sanctum.
Atlanta Constitution.
A man entered an editorialroom and saw
Shapaless Mass sitting on the Journalistic Tri-
pod. The visitor asked Where is the editor
whose great powers have made him known far
nd xvid No The Thnpdarorqt To fbic Che
less Mass replied: "But yesterday ! might have
claimed that honor, but since tho Vigilant Com
positor edited my copy have been compelled to
appear in the role Of a Crushed Strawberry"
One Would Not Suffice.
New York Times.
''Have you and Clara bad q quarrel, Mr..
Featherly?' inquired Bobby, as that young man
stretched his legs under the supper table and un-
folded his napkin.
Certainly not" replied Bobby's sister, with
asperity; don't be so foolish"
well, them" persisted Bobby, doggedly.
when he left you last night at the front door
what did you call him an insatiate monster forg
How a Speculator Lost Money.
Wall Street News.
s'There goes man." he said as he pointed to
pedestrian across the street, who lost his all by
not posting up on the traits of communities"
What do you meanW "He went to Indiana
and put his entire fortune into a cough drop
factory. but never sold pound of the drops"
"WhYf Don't Indiana people have coughsI"
Certainly; the same as the rest of us; but when
they can't cure EN- with slippery elm they let
her cough"
Not So Mechanical After All.
Boston Record.
At the sAIikado':
She-How in the world do they manage to do
this $50 nights in succession without firing to
death of ita
He-Oh, they do it without any thought of it
at all. 1t becomes purely mechanical with them.
She (refiectively and after slight pause)-Do
you think Nanki Poo's hug is purely mechanical
He was obliged to admit that in one respect, at
least, the action was characterized by an eternal
freshness.
Humorist Has a Serious Thought
Erie Dispatch.
Mark Twain has conferred another bon mot
on his generation AT recent dinner party the
subject of eternal life and future punishment
came up for lengthy discussion. in which
Twain took no part. A lady near him turned
suddenly toward him and exclaimed
"Why do you not say anythingl want your
opinion"
excuse me. I am silent. of necessity have
friends in both places"
Thought He Was an Episcopalian.
Washington Ratchet.
Secretary Chase was not originally profane
into Lincon's Cabinet. One day. after he had
delivered himself rather vigorously, Lincoln said
to him:
''Mr. Chase, are yon an Episcopalian9'
why do you ask" was the somewhat sur
prised counterquestion.
"Oh, just out of curiosity" replied Lincoln.
Seward is an Episcopalian, and had noticed
that you and he swore in much the same man.
ner."
Only His Shadow.
Texas siftings.
A gentleman called at the residence of Pro-
lessor Shore, of the University OF Texas, after
dark. Matilda SNOWFALL was standing at the
gate.
us the Professor inan
mo, sah."
But" said the gentleman, pointing to the
window blind on which the silhouette of the
now"
mo, sab; dats not him. OATS muffin but his
shadder'
A Friend at Court.
New York Graphic.
well. Johnny, your little baby brother has
gone back to heaven remarked the doctor a few
minutes after the sad event had occurred
Then he is up with God nowP
'Yes"
sJust my luck! wish I'd knowed it yester-
day.
why, Johnny?"
I'D a. a@ked him to speak about that new sled
I've been praying for for the last two weeks. I'm
afraid all the snow will be gone before III get it
now"
More TO the Point.
Philadelphia Press
Parson Illman.. of New York, announces that
the idea of he'll is dying OUT Perhaps. But
what great many fellows want to know is
whether the place itself is dying out