davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
A NAUTICAL BULL.
The Most Absurd Episode in the Career
Admiral Porter.

The Most Absurd Episode in the Career o.
Admiral Porter.
Even acknowledged war" smiles now and
then at the absurdities of which he is the
occasion. One evening, while Admiral
Porter's fleet was anchored inside Cape
Fear river a ''contraband'' padded his
canoe alongside of the Malvern, the flag
ship, and informed the Admiral that the
enemy would send down that night pow.
erful ram and torpedo-vessel. As the Adj
miral had been looking for rams and tor
pedo-boats during three years of service,
and had never seen one, he thanked his
stars, and gave such orders as he thought
| would result in the capture of his assail-
ants. He was just going to bed, when
shouts, words of command, and pistol
shots attracted his attention. The river
was alive with boats dashing to the scene
OF conflict.
There he goes,' Head him off,
Here he comes ..Give him a volleyr"
were shouted by the different crews, accom-
panied by the firing of muskets and pistols.
The vessels above the flagship began
firing howitzers.
THAT is sheer follv!' said the Admiral
to his flag officer, Captain Breese. They
will never capture the thing in this way
Why don't they board and foul her screw
with a net. as ordered them to do. Jump
into the boat, pull up there, and tell them
to board the thing, whatever it is, ut all
hazards
The Captain showed off. and in five min
utes the strange vessel seemed to be COM
ing down on the flagship.
Look outr' was shouted from the boat.
"Give it to him. Then Il volley of mus
kerry and three cheers followed.
Here he comes. and all the boats after
him. shouted the lookout. We've got
him. Tie on to him, Double-bank him
with boats,' were heard from the pursuers.
Take the enemy in tow, and stop your
noise," shouted the officer in command of
the boats Captain Breese returned along.
side of his flagship.
"Well, sir we got him. said he.
"And time they had of it, answered
the Admiral. why didn't those fellows
do as told them-jam his screw with the
1ets?"
"He hadn't any screw, sir" replied the
Captain.
"What had he them"
ut WAS something worse than a ram,
sir, said the Captain, laughing. "It was
the biggest bull ever saw. He was swim
ming across the channel when he was first
espied. / don't wonder they took him for
a torpedo-boat, he got through the water
at such a rate.''
A bull" exclaimed the Admiral. $50 l
am not to see a ram after ALL" and he went
to his stateroom laughing over wars alb
surd episode.-Youth's Companion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
INDIVIDUAL DISCOVERY,
Gaining knowledge by Observation and
Using 1t by Comparison.

Gaining knowledge by Observation and
Using 1t by Comparison.
The knowledge acquired by personal
Investigation or experience is far more
valuable than the same facts memoir
zed from books. Prof. Agassiz, a
most excellent teacher, understood and
constantly acted upon this truth. Many
Of his lessons consisted of mere '.look-
ng;" some specimen was given to the
student to analyze, and comment npon.
but no help was afforded until the
pupil had elected all the information
from it which he could derive unaided.
Agassiz occasionally asked after the
pupils progress. but never gave him
leading questions which might serve to
suggest conclusions to which he must
otherwise come Independently.
Prof. Hyatt, prominent naturalist,
has a similar method of teaching. the
suggestion of which may have come
from his first interview and study with
Louis Agassiz. In regard to his OPEN
ing lesson with this great teacher, Prof.
Hyatt says:
"He gave me penlacrinite, stone
lily, a rather complex fossil, and told
me to study it. This l thought easy
work; so l took stroll in the after
noon. and thought little of it. Next
morning he came up to my table and
asked me what 1 had found. l had
never studied from nature before, and
began givinga very general description.
which he soon interrupted. Stop!
stopr he said, in an impatient tone.
You don't know any thing about it.
1t is Just what expected. You haven't
told me any thing that you know
Look at it again, and tell me something
that you see for yourself / had some
faint book remembrances, and had
been relying upon these. Taken all
aback, l began to work. l thought
about my specimen all day. and dreamed
about it at night. Next morning began
telling him what / had found, but be-
fore was one-quarter through, he
stopped me, SAYING: That is good, but
you have not yet told me what l want.
With this he pointed to the side OF the
room where star-fishes and sea-urchins
were kept. and told me to see what
more he wanted In this blind way,
and with no further hint. | worked I'M
successfully for long time; then
found that l had omitted to mention
the star-like appearance of the fossil.
Not knowing whether it was of any
Importance. timidly mentioned this
resemblance to the star-tishes, and
Prof. Agassiz was satisfied. This expe-
rience burned into my mind the most
important lesson of my life: the man.
ner of gaining real knowledge by OBJ
servation, and that of using it by COM
parison and inference. y Youths Com
pdnion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
A HOLY CITY.
Strange Sights on the Banks OF the Ganre,
ut Benares.

Strange Sights on the Banks or the Ganxe,
at Benares.
The most remarkable part of tn,
spectacle presented by the river face Of
Benares is its population, resident and
immigrant. Throughout the length
OF this northern shore, where the
flights OF steps and the slopes of the
temples come down to the Ganges,
is seen all day long an immense crowd
OF devotees, of all ages, ranks and raj.
ments, and of both sexes, bathing in
the sacred river or praying by its edge,
or washing their robes of pilgrimage,
or bringing their dead to be burned.
Imagine what an artistic effect results
from such fringe of life and of color
between the steep multi-colored back.
ground of the steps and temples and
the shining waters of the stream.
Ihrongs of brown-skinned men and
women, of boys and girls, stand waist
deep along the bathing stations,
whispering their supplications and
pouring the holy liquid over neck and
breast and loosened black hair. Groups
of bright-clad women, led by their
Brahman gurus, come joyously down
the stairs from far-off towns and
lungles, to lay their scarlet, saffron,
green and rose-color saris aside with
the ghat-keepers, and wash their inno-
cent sins away in Gunga. Big umbrellas
are everywhere erected in the sand or
mud, inscribed with Ram, RAM" and
under them, shaded from the sun. fam
lily parties sit and chatter, or pray in
silent accord, arrived, after immense
marches, to be laved in and saved bv
Gunga. Sick people lie, wistful and
wan. on charpoys, brought to her bene-
hcent side, that they may hear the
ripple of the Great Mother" and feel
the healing wind blow from her waves;
while, at the foot of the burning Chats,
where the people who sell the ..dcath-
wood are raking for white bones in
The heaps of hot ashes. and piling up
tuel and cow-dung for their next batch
Of funeral pyres, lie three still figures
covered with white and red cloths. from
which protrude only the fixed, cold feet,
washed by the outer edge of the tide.
These are the dead of to-day. happy
thrice happy-to have passed to the
gate of Swarga, close to Gunga's good
waves. Their friends sit near, well
satisfied even amid their natural re-
grets; and, very soon, three blue curls
Of smoke waited among the temple
roofs from three cracking fires upon
the platform of the Chat will tell where
those votaries have finished their pill
grimagc for once and all Wonderful
is the fervor of belief among these
gentle, metaphysical Hindoo people
George augustus Sa!d, in London Tele-
qraph.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
A POET LOVER.
He Gives q Very Poetica1 Account OF an
Exceedingly Prosaic Fact.

He Gives a Very Poetical Account OF an
Exceedingly Prosaic Fact.
Will Shields, who knows more about sell
ing angels food in Iowa than he does
about standard authors. not long since
found a new girl and went to see her. The
day after his first call he was met on the
street looking like barrel with the hoops
off, generally, and four or five long
scratches on his face, particularly.
Hello" said his friend, whats the
matter?"
Nothing" he replied, ''only I've found
out that the poet told the truth"
"How's that? what do you mean?"
Don't you read poetry"
"Yes, some"
"Well, didn't you ever read that verse
which goes:
oh woman IN our hours of ease.
Uncertain, COY and hard to squeeze
That's what mean.
'Oh, remarked the friend, tersely ana
with a significant wink. II tumble
Merchant Traveller.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
She Wanted = Signal.

Ethelberta-I want pair Of slippers for
pa. Number tens, please, and-squeaky.
Genial Shoemaker-Squeaky, miss? I'm
afraid We haven't any OF that kind.
Ethelberta-Iams SO sorry. Couldn't You
make him squeaky pair? There is Ger.
tain young gentleman who visits me fire.
quently, and-and it would be very con-
venient for him to know just when pa is
coming. Cali
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
1t Looks Like Poetry, but Isn't.

A Norwalk photogra pher received tn
following few days ago:
Mr.. please alter them
Photographs over in the following way
am not at all pleased with the
Proof please see If you can't fix
The left de of my face so il wont
Have such u Swelled appearance
An please make the face darker
1t looks as If YOU pulled ii
Through n whitewash pail and left
The streakS on and please alter
The nose so il wont look SO crooked
And make the hair dark all the
Way around my right temple
And don't leave that dark spot under
The left corner of my tie leave il all
White under 1t make my left ear a
Little lighter don't alter the color
OF the tie or coat any.
New Haven Palladium
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
The Gifted Girl of Grantsville.

A young lady in Grantsville is curiously
and amusingly gifted. Her toes are 20
supple that she can snap the great and
third toes of either foot with as sharp and
clear a report as the average man makes
when he snaps his thumb and finger. She
is diffident about exhibiting her peculiar
accomplishment, but her intimate friends
assert that she is quite an adept and can
keep good :ime to lively jig.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
That Tired Feeling

The mild weather, following our long and severe
winter. has such depressing effect upon the body
that feels all tired ont, almost completely pros
trated the appetite Is lost and there IL ambition
do anything The whole tendency Of the system is
downward. Hoods Sarsaparilla is just the medicine
needed 1t purnes the blood sharpens the appetite.
overcomcs the tired feeling. An invigorates every
function Of the body.
Hoods Sarsaparflla in four weeks made me a new
man. Ny head ceased to ache, and my whole system
Is built up anew. enjoying perfect health" /. BAR
RIS6ToN, $50 Bank ST.. n. Y. City.
I'VE all like Hoods Sa-saparla It is strengthen.
ing" LIZZIE BALYoUR, Auburn, RI.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

"HELLor' we heard one man say to anoth-
er the other day. "Ididn't know you at first,
why you look ten years younger than you
years younger" was the reply. "You
know used to be under tho weather all the
time and gave up expecting to be any bet
ter The doctor said had consumption. /
was terribly weak, had night-sweats, cough,
no appetite, and lost flesh. l saw DIR.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery adver-
tised, and thought it would do no harm il
it did no good. 1t has cured me. am q
new man because am a well one."
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
A Remarkably Queer Bank.

"Sir?" he said, as he entered bank Sat
''can you give me five five-dollar bills in
exchange for a twenty?"
"Sir! couldn't really do it," replied the
teller.
"You cawn't7"
"No."
"Queer bank, very queer. I'll have to
take my patronage elsewhere. Good nav
uing. detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
"No Physic, Sir, In NIine!"

A good story comes from a boys board
ing school in Jersey" The diet was mo-
notonous and constipating, and the learned
Principal decided to introduce some old
style physic in the apple-sauce, and await
the happy results One bright lad, the
smartest in school, discovered the secret
mine in his sauce, and pushing back his
plate, shouted to the l,edagogue, "No
physic, sir, in mine. My dad told me to
use nuthin' but DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Purg-
alive Pellets and they are q doing their
duty like a charm." They are ti-biious,
and purely vegetable.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
The Sinner and the Silver Box.
boston Pilot.l

There is q story of brigand who went
10 confession, as Spanish brigands do, and
who seeing little silver box in the sleeve
of the priest, relapsed and stole it. 81 &C.
cuse myself, father" said he Immediately,
"of having stolen box" swell, ny son,
you must restore it." "Would you like it,
father." 81? no." replied the confessor,
offended at the suggestion. "The thing
is," resumed the penitent, ''that I have
offered it to its owner, and he has refused
it." "Oh! then in that case, my son, you
have done all that is necessary, and may
keep it with clear conscience"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

No words Of can tell the benefit to be der we'd
from Hoods SarsaparillA, II you need good spring
medicine 1t will strain all Impurities from the blood
rouse the torpid liver. tnvigorate the digestive
organs and impart new life to every function of the
body We only ask you try single bottle to prove
the positive merits Of Hoods Sarsapars An honest
and reliable medicine.
Il think Hoods Sarsapsrilla Is the best medicine
for general debility there is and for the good It has
done me cheerfully recommend it." J. Sullivan %
Brown St.. Rochester, ny.
have used Hoods Sarsaparflla for blood puriner
In my family several years, and can not speak too
highly of It." J. E. COLLINS Piq&aO.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

THE VoLTAIc BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO Vol
TAIc BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES
on trial for 30 days, to men tyoung or old)
afflicted with nervous debility, loss Of vital
matism neuralgia, paralysis,an and many 9th.
er diseases. Complete restoration to health,
vigor, and manhood guaranteed. No risk in.
CURED, as 80 days trial is allowed. Write
them at once for illustrated pamphlet, free.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
An Austrian Princess Fan.
lHarper's BaZar.l

A lady in New York has fan which
once belonged to an Austrian Princess. 1t
was pain ed by Vatican and was owned
by Marie Antoinette. 1t was mounted in
Paris a few years ago on sticks of fretted
gold and silver, each outer stick heavily
ornamented with precious stones-garnets,
pearls, turquoise and sapphire. 1t 10
enormously valuable.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

"AH." said Jehokes, taking his friends
baby, he has got his mothers eyes-and
my hair he added, as the youthful prod
iRy grabbed him by his fore-top
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

In case of breakage the human fingers
are among the most reliable things known,
because they are always on hand with
nails.-N. Y Ledger.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

In another column Of this issue will be
found an entirely new and novel specimen
of attractive advertising. 1t is one of tho
any one will be we'll repaid for examining
the supposed display letters in the adveI>
tisement Of Prickly Ash Bitters.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
A Throat tn Sing With.

What throat is the best for a singer to
teach high notes with A SOAR throat. II
It becomes too sore, use Taylor's Cherokee
Remedy Of Sweet Gum and Mullein, which
cures hoarseness and a husky voice
Walter A. Taylor, Proprietor, Atlanta, Ga
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
Why a Boston Woman wept.

A Boston lady last summer attended q
funeral in a country church. After the
singing Of hymn, man who was sitting
beside her remarked: Beautiful hymn,
isn't it, ma am? The corpse wrote it."
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

IT is a common thing for a baby to put
his foot in his mouth Alas that some
men should be babies all their lives !-Bos-
ton Transcript
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
A Problem Of Civilization.

The mahwa tree, an East Indian
variety of the order Brassia, has been
found to yield fifty thousand pounds Of
sugar per acre, while the average pro-
duce of the best sugar cane is rather
less than four thousand pounds. BY
the time the population of our earth
has multiplied to crowding degree
one of Baron Humboldt's predictions
will probably be verified by the general
cultivation of tree crops. On the same
area where wheat would support one
man, the banana will support twenty
five. A grove of full-grown olive trees
is nearly a hundred times more pro-
ductive than any crop of oil-bearing
herbs. Tree culture will probably be-
come the watchword of higher civil
cation. for the aridity Of our WORKOUT
fields could likewise be counteracted
by the climatic influence of arborea
vegetation. Chicago Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

THE color produced by Buckingham's Dye
for the Whiskers always gives satisfaction.
Thedangers of Whooping Cough are avert
ed by the use Of Ayers Cherry Pectoral.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

"WHAT is meant by the bone of conten.
tionnn asked young hopeful, looking up
from his book. THE jaw-bone, my son."
replied his father, solemnly, 1.-The jaw
hOneS
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
Cured and Built Up

MY daughter had been aiing some time with gen.
eral debility, and Hoods Sarsaparilla was recon-
mended After she had taken three bottles she
was completely cured and built up 1t IL with great
pleasure that l recommend Hoods sarsaparilla"
Ben n. MrRRrKLKEs, Supt Cincinnati 4 Louisville
Man Line Co.. Cincinnati.
.For the past two years have been afiicted With
severe headache and dyspepsia 1 was induced to
try Hoods sarsaparflla. and found great relief"
MRS. E. F. AHNABLK, New Haven. CT.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

'How DID the bull look en- emerging
from the china show!" "a little the worse
for the ware"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

PRor. JSo. J. CALDWELL, NJ D., Balti-
more, says: No narcotics in Red Star
Cough Cure. Price, 25 cents bottle.
Dr. Richard Oberlaender, Leipzig, Ger
many: ST. Jacobs Oil cured me of neuralgia.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

A TAILOR is the only man who dare give
his best customers fits, and by his cutting
ways show that he has measured them up.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

MIR. BowLEs-"I guess that's a cheap
cigar you're smoking" Mr.. Jowles-"Yes,
! swore off using tobacco the first of the
year"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

''SEE here, you scamp said an irate
Irish gentleman to a tramp, '.if l were only
as near you as you are to me Pd breakyo
head. 'i-L0,ceil Courier
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

'tMAY ride behind youl" asked tramp
of a gentleman who was passing him on
horseback "Yes; but not on tbs same
horse,n was the reply.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

ISQUIRER-No; editors do not 'tsticA
used when they get stuck.-Boston Bulletin.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

A SOMEWHAT weather-beaten tramp be-
ing asked what was the matter with his
coat, replied: ..Insomnia; it hasn't had .
nap in ten years"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

RELIEF is immediate, and a cure sure
Piso's Remedy for Catarrh. 80 cents.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

Circus men will soon be along to canvass
the situatiOn.-TAe Rambler.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

'IF spring poets were hens" says an ex-
change, even an editor could afford to eat
eggs" Doubtful. Ii spring poets were
hens they would not send their lays to the
sditor.-Noryistorn Herald
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

PHILADELPHIA has q lawyer named
Gee" remarks an exchange. That's right
Haw. Haw! That's left-Chicdgo Tribune
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

PIKE STOorHACHE DROPS curein minute, &c
Gienn's Sulphur Soup heals and beauties. sc.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corns BunionA
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

A scHooL-BoY, asked to define the word
sob. whimpered out: 1T means when q
TELLER don't msaa to cry, and it bursts out
itself"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

WHEN Is a bankrupt concern like an
eight-day clock! When it is run down.
No; when it is wound up.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

FELT SLIPPERs-Those applied to vicior
youngsters.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

A SOFT job-Shaving young man for the
drst time.-Fdu Rirer ddrdncc
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

SILENCE may be golden, but a dentist
has never yet been able to fill teeth with
it-N Y Journal
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

WHEN the car-drivers strike they do not
brake any thing.-Boston Commercial But-
ltia
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
How Women Would Vote.

A GROWING evil-Your next door neigh
boris squalling baby.-Someirills Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

A modest idea of fire depart
ment is that entertained by the Green
vile Is. CO Nesos. which says: about
the best home fire department for pri-
vate residences is a ladder long enough
to reach the roof.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

The traitor who is expected to be loyal
to both sides-The arbitrator.-E Y Led
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

Were women allowed to vote, every one
In the land who has used DR.. Pierce's "Fav-
orite Prescription would vote it to be an
unfailing remedy for the diseases peculiar
to her sex. By druggists.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
An Excellent Tonic

Ny daughter received much benent from the use
OF Hoods Sarsaparfna as m excellent tonic after .
protracted attack Of bronchial pneumonia" r. b.
Adams, New Hartford. Conn.
Hoods Sarsaparilla mas done me an immense
amount Of good. Ny whole system has been built up
and strengthened. my digestion improved. my head
relieved Of the bad feeling andmy throat relieved Of
the severe irritation. consider II the best medicine
I have ever used" Macy /. PElLx. 8 Turner St,
Salem. Maso.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15
Petroleum v. Nasby's Latest /!

Petroleum v. Nasby's Latest!
d. r. Locke petroleum v. Nasby). editor Toledo
Blade telegraphs, II had forennser Of my right
hand one Of those pleasant pets 'run-round.' Tha
finger became fnaamed to . degree unbearable and
swollen to nearly twice its natural size A friend
gave me HISRYs CARBoLIo SALvK- The inhammar
ton left the finger in day. consider 1t most SAlu-
able article" Ask for Henrrs-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-05-15

Hoods Sarsapariua
b. HOOD Lowell
100 Doses One Dollar 100 Doses One Dollar