Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-24
BRIGHT BITS.

BASE BALL PLAYER in New Jersey is
named Spuvder. lie ought TO be a good man
for the outfeld, where most of the flies co.
b. st05t Herald.
Nv HEN is a man dead?" asks an exchange
When he can gaze calmly for five minutes at
showcase full of fishing tackle and not
want to HE away TO trout stream. Dans0tHe
Breese.
Is there any talent in the St. Paul Press
Club? Are there nine men in that club who
know the difference between base ball and
progressive euchre? If the st, Paul Press
Club wishes to win distinction on the dusty
diamond now is its opportunity. -NinnedpO-
lis Tribune.
AT CANNES, one day, a cold wind was
blowing. said a hotel keeper to a guest:
brilliant sunshine, isn't it,"
Yes; but yours is not very warm SUM-"
THAT'S Just where it is. It's cold sumo
perspiring days and sleepless nights in this
favored latitude 9td-Bjts. law
IN his capacity of debtor Jones pursues
some queer methods, ssAs for me- said he.
"when creditor takes il into his head to
write TO me, cross him off my list. That
settles 1t; no money for himr
"And when he doesn't writeg'
I'm that case WAIT untA he does."--Jsdge.
THE HENs-bless ,em-out West are begin
ming already to Law eggs distinctly marked
with the names of Presidential candidates for
1888. The fact that some of the names are an
Gent as tue TOCk-IiHUfQ NILS lnulCaJBB. as our
late friend from Stratford puts it, that some
thing is rotten in the State of Henmark.
BWrdette.
BAGLY-Comes, sir. / wish you Wonld quit
putting that smoke in my face.
PenstocK-"Doesn't hurt the smoke, my
dear sir -
at hurts me, sir! detest the smell of TO-
bacco
my dear sir, this is not tobacco; it is a Eve
cent cigar" --PhitadelpAiG call.
81 SEE the Socialists of Chicago are in
ferment," observed the Judge.
You surely are mistaken" replied the Ma
jor.
mistaken! Nothing of the kind. Didn't
| see it in the paper?"
Cant help it if you did. Ferment means
to work, and that's something Socialists don't
do ." Pttts6ur9 Chronicle.
THERE are three kisses in a world of miscel-
laneOus kisses which may be counted true
the kiss the mother lightly lays upon her
baby's dewy lips, the kiss the mother gives
her boy as he goes forth into the world, and
the dead AlDtherest are like the stra " ber-
ries in the bottom Of the basket--to be taken
with susPicion'-7R&aca0o Journal. sJl sir-
A CUTE LITTLE GIRL of is the delight of a
Washington boulevard family for her pretti-
ness. as well as for the bright and odd things
she says. The other day company of tia
passed down the street IN front OF her home,
and her minTite black and-tan barked furi-
ously through the window pane at them. The
little girl arose IN alarm and said; "Shut the
door mamma! Fido will bite the army ~
OhScdgO Aetps. bot -e1r rro- a.r -I
AN INSURANCE BANNER AND ADJUsTER,
who WAS called upon TO investigate a loss in
Pittsburg, Inquired of the polIcy-holder:
Where were you when the alarm was
81 vhas ahsleep in my bedt."
'sDid any one awake your" 3|I
''Vhell my clerk comes ind pounds on der
door, und says our shtore vas gone oop.'
.'What did you doc"
~ goes down to telegraph to Boston to see
il your insurance company vhas gone oop,
- VAL Street Ket0s.
A BOY u years old was the important wit
ness in lawsuit. One OF the lawyers, after
Gro s-questoning him severely, said: your
father mas been talking to you and telling you
how TO testify, hasn't hep
YES" said the boy.
Now said the lawyer. ''just tell us how
your father told you to testify
"Well," said the boy modestly. "father told
me that the lawyers would try and tangle me
IN my testimOny but if j would just be care
ful and tell the truth, l could tell the same
thing every time. "-Ercbdnge.
WANTED 1T CHANGED.-Shindig Watkins
desired to call the attention of the meeting to
the fact that there was a shoal in Lake huron
which had Deen set down on the charts by the
government surveyors as "Nlgger-Head
ShOal." He for one felt it to be reflection
on his race, and he hoped the club would for
ward its protest to Congress. "Brudder Wat
k.ns. do you call yourself nigger2" blandly
inquired the Presldent. mo. sah-no. sab
In cO'se | dOn't lee a Guild man, sab 20
all de res Of re crowd. III dar' am any mig
ger who wants to complain about dat shoal,
let him go ahead; il am none Of our funeral"
Brother Watkins sat down, but he didn't look
exactly ike a man who had gained q barrel
and half Of valuable Information fer moth
ing.-Detrou Free Press.