The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-02-07


Of doom, in fragments rent my dream.
You dances" / said
Size turned her head
And smiling answered Il should scream"
New haven News.
Used to Carving.
will you carver asked the landlady of young
awoones. who is in college. Certainly; where3
le bodyt-I mean bring on the meat" corraek
e himself as best he could.
"Airs" Was Weak.
ittsburg Chronicle.
Sue puts on great many airs, does she notr
nd Mildred while discussing an acquaintance.
''Airsw replied Amy THAT doesn't begin I'd
xpress it. She just piles cyclones son the tops
hurricanes"
A Young Woman's Taste.
ew York Sun.
Mrs. Bunker (of Boston)-I think Miss Waldo
as the most perfectly dressed lady in the room,
he wear jewelryl
Mrs. Bunker-Spectacles only.
SeasOnable Inquiry
ew York Times.
Gentleman Ito progressive iournalst)-How
ucn VIII II cost Sir, to insert notice of my
lIes death In your paper2
Progressive journalistic depends somewhat
r. Do you want it illustrated
His Full Name.
ttsburg Chronicle.
What is your full namep asked the magiss
ate of an individual who had been absorbing
ore mountain dew than he could carry.
Same as when I'm sober fhic.1 Did yer think
changed It (hic) when took drink9"
Sixty days"
Infant Theology.
Little Paul is having good deal of difficulty
committing to memory the Lords prayer.
he other night, after repeating it with the ash
stance of his mamma, he looked up and saids
Mamma, won't the Lord be glad when can
" this through without break"
Rapid Transit.
Kosciusko Murphy-Do you know the man
no drives that hack with the bay horsea
Gilhooly-Yes, l know him.
well, he started out from Austin when the
ain left the depot, and got to San Antonio just
the train ran into the depot over there"
He must have had good team"
mo. he didn't have any team-he was on tha
ain"
Where He Lives.
A little boy who had heard a good deal about
le work of the Home Missionary Society in the
erritories, was seen putting away carefully a
ant which had been given him to spend.
What are you saving your money FORT" he
as asked
oh was the reply, "Tm going to keep all my
onnies till get lot, and then I'm going to send
N all out West to Jesusr
No Partially.
exas Siftings.
sT+ 80 ~, o,,4raoo +ba x,,ox ror @roo< voa eo;H
[iss Esmerelda Longcoffin to Hostetter McGin~
is.
How so, Miss Esmerelda?"
"You have sworn to love and cherish me, and
DIV you are making love to another young wom-
D. 1t is a hideous outrage"
BE calm, Esmerelda, be calm. I'm going to-
, back on the other girl, too"
An Infants Definition.
ew York Commercial Advertiser.
Teacher-Mary, give me an example of an OBJ
oct of the masculine gender.
Mary-Mr. Jones, the grocer.
Teacher-Now give me an object of the FEM
line gender.
Mary--You. Miss Smith.
Teacher-And now of the neuter gender.
Mary-Mr. Robinson.
Teacher-Mr. Robinson2
Mary-Yes he is neither man nor woman, but
n old bachelor
Youthful Philosophy.
oston Record.
1t is little philosopher of six years. on the
Their side of the Mississippi, who said to his
lother: 1.-THE true pleasure in life is to do the
ght thing to look back on every time And
nen, just think. when you get through you'll
ave such nice long string of looking" This
anne urchin asked his mother a difficult ques-
on and got the answer:
81 don't know"
SWELL" said he II think mothers ought to
now They ought to be well educated or elga
ave an encyclopedia"
A Valuable Invention.
life.
"You are stakeholder in the Cross Cut rail.
pad, sirl" he asked.
II am" said the stakeholder.
81 have new device for registering money re.
eipts that lays over any
Eyes, sir; but our present system is perfectly
satisfactory. Our conductors cannot
Excuse me, but my invention has nothing to
0 with conductors. It's a protection against
residents and superintendent. Shall take a
hair and explain it to your
IF you will be so kind said the stock
older.
No Harm Done.
oston Transcript.
Mrs. Fogg-I declare! it's outrageous! Mr..
pread the editor of the Clarion, says he is go-
le to have your picture in his paper to .morrow
lorning, with your biography It's an outrage,
mats what call tan outrage!
Mr.. Fogg-Oh. don't get excited. my dear.
Iobodyn ever recognize*the picture as my por-
rait.
Mrs. Fogg-But they'll know it is yours when
hey read the biography.
Mr.. Fogg-People who know how to read
ever bother themselves over illustrated news
aper articles.
He Worked on the Monday Paper.
oston Courier.
Minister-And you feel an awakening within
ou my friend2
Penitent Printer do. sir. / feel that have
cen great sinner, very great sinner Tu1j
raid there's no salvation for me.
M.-Come come my friend, do not be de-
oondent. You know the lines. being printer
bout the vilest sinner returning. ! think you
e in hopeful condition, very hopeful condi-i
on.
P. P.-Ah! bur I've been such Sabbath@