Morning journal and courier., 1886-07-02
FROTH HI.

'FI say" whispered tourist to a Coney
Island bartender, t'is it mad?" 'sIs what
mads'' f'This glass of beer; it's frothing ter
ribly. New York Sun.
''What papers off my writing desk are you
burning thereg' cried an author to the ser
want girl. ''Oh, only the paper what's all
written over, sir. I hadn't touched the
clean"
Bismarck's physicians haye advised him
not to drink water while speaking. If he
can perform that feat he ought to be allowed
to do it if only for the amusement of the
children.-Philadelphi Call.
Hostess-"What has become of Sandy
Smith, who stood so high in your class?'
Alumnus-"O, he's taken orders some
time" Hostess-H'He's in the ministry,
then?" Alumnus-'tNo, in restaurant. -
Life.
A Boston lawyer recently met his match
in a witness who was giving evidence about
an old lady's loss of mind. Lawyer-"Did
she look as I looking at you now, for
instancea" Witness - ''Well, yes, quite
vacant-like"
A Georgia co1ored debating society was
lately discussing (Which is the best for the
laboring man, to work for wages or part OF
the crops" An old ''uncle" spoke the sense
of the meeting when he said, "Bofe is de
best, eff dey could only be brung togedder
somehow"
':The picture is very fair, Brown, but you
look too sad'' eyes, I looked 80 on purpose.
You see it's for my wife, who is in the coun-
try, and if it looked bright and cheerful she'd
be coming home to find out what the matter
was. New York Times.
Repo1ter-''A you going to work to-day,
Pat?' Pat-sShure, I dunno Me old
and the union men will break me head if
do. Shure, these are hard times for dacint
men. think I'll just take me chances with
the old woman. New York Times.
A foolish preacher stood mp last Sunday
and said that "modern humor was ephem-
eral; it was the cracking of thorns and
would not last its own day" Oh, foolish
parsonl Won't last a daya Why, some of
its best jokes have already lasted over 200
years and are still in daily use.-Burdette.
A Considerate Boy.-Little Johnny-'Pa,
did you read in the paper how parent was
fined $25 because his little boy hung on a
street cara" ''Well, what of it?' asked Col.
Fizzletop. go! nuthin, except I thought
maybe you wanted to give me some nickels
don't swing on the street cars. Texas Sift-
ings.
A little girl went visiting one day, and af-
ter time was given the album of family
photographs to look at She turned the
leaves over carefully, and pretty soon closed
the book. "Well DEAR" asked the hostess,
"did you look at the albuma" ''Oh, yes," an
swered the little maid, brightly. "And we've
got one 'zactly like it, only the pictures are
prettier. ."-Harpers Bazaar.
Man Ito friend)-t'You didn't seem to treat
that gentleman with politeness." Friend
''I spoke rather roughly, I admit" Man
''You have changed toward him. The other
day saw you cordially shaking hands with
him." Friend-"Yes, he owed me then,
but he has paid me: consequently, you see
that am no longer under obligations to
him. ."-Arkansaw Traveller.
A story is told of western woman who
prevented a crowd of thirteen men from get
ting through doorway to lynch her hus-
band. We know that western women are
plucky. But New York can beat that. Not
long since woman kept back an angry
crowd of fifty on the elevated station while
sndeavoring to fish nickel for her fare out
of a satchel crammed full of dress samples
and buttons.-Puck.