Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-11-27
HUMOR,


IT is rain or shine with bootblack.
A RoUsINa appeal--"T Time to get up
How TO get rid of surplus milk
cheese it,
WOMAN of the world Ito youthful ad-
mirerl-"You seem to know great
deal of married life. Are you married P"
Merritt with blase air)-"No, but my
father is."-IAe Judge.
HE OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES you give
he this next waltz, Miss Violet?" She
(coquettishly) -"Pe rhaps, ii you press
me" The bold horrid thing-I'll do
that as we dance. life.
SAYS Victor Hugo: During battle
let us be the enemies of our enemies.
and after victory their brothers." But
that wi depend largely on how the
enemy feels if the enemy happens to be
the victor. Courier.
A LADY in a railway carriage took
out her purse, took therefrom six.
pence, and handed it to a well-dressed
man who was smoking. what is TINS
for?' asked the smoker. Its to buy
you good cigar when you smoke in
the presence of ladies'" was the reply.
ARE che KS fashionable now,n asked
q highly dressed dude of his tailor as
he looked over his goods. Il don't be-
lieve they are, SIR" was the reply, "for
l haven't seen any around lately" He
looked so hard at the young man when
he said it that it caused an absence in
the shop very rapidly.
"WAsN'r Herod an old man before he
learned to dancer a little girl asked
of her mother. "Why, my child, what
on ca til put that: in your head 2"
Nothing much, only / was reading in
my Sunday-school lesson that the
daughter of Herodias danced before
Herod." The little girl had to dance
off to bed.-Teras SUtings.
A WOMAN in Vermont is the mother
of twenty-seven children, all living;
and they do say that when Christmas
time comes around, her unfortunate
husband just goes out in the deep dark
woods all alone by himself and lies
down on the cold snow under a grow
ing Christmas tree and weeps and
weeps as if his heart would break
Cambridge Chronicle.
"MR. JONES'" said the end man, with
the insinuating voice for which he
ceased to be famous some time during
the reign of Elizabeth, can you tell
me how to invest money SO that it will
go the farthest?" NO, Mr.. Thomp.
son, L am not aware that I can. How
do you invest money so that it will go
the farthest?" "Why, you buy postage
stamps, to be sure. It'd Bits.
GOOD ADVICE.
-My son" the lie aeon wisely said.
And sage ged his aged head,
Take note of all that's good YOU see
lsnore whate'er nley evil be.
Should pUgilist meet you some day,
Insult yoU you wend your way,
Should call YOU names, and should decry
Your prowess, do 70. battle try.
Just take no note Of him.
And if a,nid your daily work
on see II man who'll slltrk
The labor that he ought TO do:
Who drinks, and drinks quite often, too;
WHO'S failed III business an times Ger,
Who's apt to fail some ten times more,
Who CANDLES AID auits largely bets,
And never pays his honest debts
Why, take no note of him.
WHAT you want" said q physi-
clan to Dakota editor who came to
consult him, is absolute rest mentally
and more physical exercise for few
months" Mustn't think at all?" "No,
sir" and take all the outdoor exer-
else possible?" That's it exactly"
"but how am l going to get my iiv-
ing?" We'll. my advice to you is to
go to Washington and start such COR
respondence bureau as you have been
getting letters from for the last year.
Writing the letters will give your mind
just the rest it needs while lodging
yo;r board bill will bring the exer.
cise."-- EStelline Bel.