davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-10-14
DIVIDING HE COSTS.
WHY n Detroit Lawyer and COuntr
Justice Went Light on Jack.

why n Detroit Lawyer and a Country
Justice Went Light on Jack.
There was an assault and battery
case before county justice not many
miles fr ON Detroit the other day, and
The plaintiff came to the city and en-
gagged an attorney of his acquaintance
to represent him. The lawyer told him
he had a straight case and couldn't
help but win it, and on the day of the
suit he got horse and buggy and
drove out. Three or four miles from
his objective point he was stopped by a
farmer, who asked:
''Be you that Detroit lawyer?"
yes"
"Well, let me give you q hint. The
defendant is Jack --, and he's ray
ther bad man. When you come to
sum up be a leetle careful what you
saw"
The lawyer had gone another mile
when he was accosted by man who
sat by the roadside waiting for him:
:.'Be you that Detroit lawyer?'
"Yes."
"Well, be leetle careful what you
say about Jack - in court. Jack has
bad way of gittin' even with folks. s"
A mile from the town he met two
men. one of whom asked:
'Be you that lawyer from Detroit?"
Yes"
Coin to appear agin Jack -,
s'pose?"
'.Yes."
"Then be keerful what You say about
him. He's allus loaded fur bar"
He drove on to the Office Of the lust
ice, and constable welcomed him and
said:
Il 'spose you'll pitch into Jack
more or less. I'll lend YOU revolver,
and you d better hire man to take that
rig back to Detroit and you go home
on the cars. Don't give me away, and
don't neglect my advice"
When, the justice came in he gave
the attorney a cordial greeting, and
added:
After the trial is over you'd better
stay right here in the office until con-
stable can smuggle YOU out into the
woods. | don't want nothing to hap
pen you"
When the case opened the Detroit
lawyer surprised the crowd BY advising
his client to leave every thing to his
Honor, and his Honor discharged the
prisoner with the remark:
Seems like case of temporary in
sanity and the costs will be divided. -
Detroit Free Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-10-14
PLAT-WRlTING.
Dion BoucicauIt Reveals the Secrets of His
Literary Workshop.

Dion Boucicault Reveals the Secrets of Hi
Literary Workshop.
A drama is composed of series o
scenes, each leading TO the next fol
continuity is the soul OF interest. Ii
any other works of fiction the novelist
or the poet can arrest the action, Il
moralize or to develop. He may even
retrOgrade, and take his reader back
but the dramatist must go on, for he
represents life asst fows-life in action,
not in description. In shaping his
work it is necessary that no scene shall
be longer than the suffering requires
that is, when an incident infiicts suf-
fering on the characters he must not
prolong such a scene beyond the natu-
raj amount of suffering which the
characters would endure, nor fall short
of what is due. If the novelist ofiendS
n this way the reader may skip, but
if dramatist does so the spectator
yawns or gets impatient. The dramat-
ist first settles on a good subject. The
plot Is the treatment of the subject.
Thus, Sheridan thought of a rich old
uncle returning from Sndia with large
fortune, and desirous of sharing it be-
tween his nephews. He conceals his
name-and introduces himself as poor
suppliant to enable him to interview
their characters. Here we have Sir
Oliver Surface, Charles and Joseph.
This is the vertebral column of the
''School for Scandal" from it spring
Sir Peter and Lady TeaZle, They be-
long to the plot, not to the subject.
The other characters are likewise pro-
duced by the requirement of the action.
1t is frequently the case that these col
lateral characters prove the most
prominent, growing into prominence
under the poets hand, as Shylock grew
under the hand of Shakespeare, who
surely intended Portia and her lovers
10 hold the prominent interest.
Ifthe dramatist, before he commences
to write, shall carry in his mind the
work until if has assumed a shape, and
all its parts appear clear from begin
ming to end, ne may feel sure his pen
will not mslead or run away with him.
Yet the shape should be so vaguely
thrown in-as a study in charcoal to
the painter-that he is not cribbed and
confined within it, but his Imagination
is free during his production of work
to improve or change its details in any
way that may not destroy or defOrm
its shape. Indeed, during rehearsal.
when the play comes visibiy before the
ilramatist. he may pull his work to
pieces and change its attitude as
sculptor remOdels his clay figure.
Nevertheless, each dramatiSt has his
own method of work-none work alike.
For my own part, l carry a subject for q
long time in mind before accepting it.
If the mind does not tire of it, if it re-
mains green and fresh, there is usually
some life in it. When it is nodded
into shape | commence to write, and
the production Oh three or five act
play takes from ten to twenty days.
For there are but twenty-five hundred
lines in play of usual length, and one
hundred and twenty-five lines or five
ordinary pages Of manuscript make a
very light days work, for the child |
that takes many months TO form re-
quires few hours to produce.-PaN AGN
(TDzeffP
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-10-14

Crater Lake. in Southern Oregon,
is over two thousand feet despite
deepest in America.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-10-14

). E. BARNARD, ees1 xes- K c., sr. = a { .. Azs
n. a ST. =, ST. JOSEPH
A. c. DAWES, e1SI PASS korI, K C, 81. / G . A1
- q ST. d. 81. scsEssA
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
LIMEKILN CLUB.

Brother Gardner Proves That Brains Can
Not BE Pitted Against Drink.
When the meeting opened in due
form Brother Gardner announced that
the Hon Profile Livermore, of Arkan-
sas, was in the ante-room and waiting
to address the meeting. The subject Of
his address was: HAS the White Man
Passed His ZenithP" If there were no
objections he would be brought in.
Prof Wintergreen Davis didn't pro-
pose to object, but he would like to be
informed of the meaning of the word
zenith He had attended twenty-one
different ward caucuses and had clerked
in wood yard for three weeks, but he
had never met with the word before.
There was a deep silence as he set
tied down, and Brother Gardner
scratched his bald pate until as if the
friction would start a fire.
Zenith, - he finally said, ''why, l ar
mo- dan surprised at your ignerence.
Ebery cull'd pusson in dis kentry Orter
to know all about zenith"
Eyes, sir, but de word breaks me
Zenith am drefful easy word, -
continued the President, as he looked
up and down the hall in a nervous
manner. You didn't git zenith an
either all mixed up, did youP'
''No, sah."
'When anybody says that Samuel
Shin, fur instance. has passed his
zenith dey can't be Token up for SLAM
der. 1t means-it means"
He waited so long that the Rev. Pen
stock arose and said:
"Misser President, it means dat he
has passed his best pint. Zenith am
de highest pitch.
=" Brudder Penstock, sot right down
dis minit!" exclaimed the President, as
he used his gavel in a vigorous man
ner. ''WhO aXed you to riz up an
'splain bout zenith? When dis chair
can't stan on one leg an 'splain any
word in common use he will confess his
ignorance an call fur help! 1 shall
fine you two thousand dollars fur dis
turbin' dis meetin', an Prof. Davis viii
now be brung in!''
It was evident to all as soon as he
entered the room that the Professor
was "off. " He grinned and bowed and
scraped, and finally took a chair near
the stove. When Giveadam Jones
went over to him and asked if he was
i'll, he replied:
"shayh' I'll fight you two rounds
for twenty-five shents!'
He was drunk! AS soon as Brother
Gardner realized this fact he ordered
him removed from the lodge. The
stranger was assisted down stairs into
the alley, and hasn't been seen in De-
troit since. From the splashes of mud
on the right board fence, and the dis
lance between his tracks, it is believed
that he left in hurry.
''Dis am but another proof" said
Brother Gardner as he took his seat,
''dat when you pit brains agin whisky,
commOn-sense agin gin, or intellect
agin lager-beer, de liquids am bound
to go under de wire a length ahead. y
Detroit Free Press
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
a Deserted vllLAeE.
The LAS t shanty Of Frogtown, Maryland
is lettering.

The Last shanty of Frogtown, Maryland,
is TOttering.
They were talking about dead mining
camps. 81 have seen dead camps,
said the man from the east shore of
Maryland, and have seen dead oil
towns, but the deadest town I ever saw
was the remains of the once prosperous
Frogtown down on Delaware Bay. It
was once a station on one of the first
railroads built in this country, line six
miles in length. I passed through the
place last week. The engine stopped
for water or something, and I saw q
gaunt, hungTy-looking girl, clothed in a
greasy calico wrapper, reaching out of
the door of howell and tearing off a
clapboard. 1t was the last board. All
the rest had been pulled off before for
firewood, and all the other houses in the
town had gone the same way. This was
the last house and the last inhabitant.
As soon as the gaunt, hungry woman
completes her work of destruction she,
too, will 60.
They used to have accidents on the
roads in those old days" continued the
Marylander, meditatively. ''The cars
were wheeled over wooden rails COW
6I0u Wltn Jnln IRON Strips nall6Q down
to the wood. The ends of these rails
used to curl up and run through the
floors of the cars and out through the
roof Usually there would be man on
the end of 'em. And it sometimes
took several hours to pick him off.
''They make all sorts of fun of East
shore people" he continued, after
pause, ''and some of the inhabitants are
queer specimens. They grow on trees,
you know; some drop off before they
are ripe, and that accounts for the vari-
ETY. of the fruit. You will meet men
with one cheek bone two inches higher
than the other, others with one side of
their mouths turning down and the
other side turning up; some without
any chins, others with chins extending
out like horns; some with feet and
hands like hams, others misshapen and
bent and warped and twisted out of all
semblance to humanity. A new gen.
Grafton is springing up, however, and
the latest born are very like other NOR
tails. Soon nothing will be left of the
East-shore men but tradition. - Chicago
NeaOS.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
SOME QUEER FISH.
A Walking Fish Whose Google Eyes Pro
ject and Twist Around.

A Walking Fish Whose Google Eyes Pro
Ject and Twist Around.
A far more singular walking fish
than any of these is the odd creature
that rejoices, unfortunately, in the
very classical surname of Periophthal-
mus, which is, being interpreted,
Stareabout. If he had a recognized
English name of his own, would
gladly give it; but he hasn't, and as it
is clearly necessary to call him some
thing, 1 fear we must stick to the
somewhat alarming scientific nomen-
clature. Periophthalmus, then, is an
odd fish of the tropical Pacific shores,
with a pair of very distinct forelegs,
theoretically described as modified pee
toral fins, and with two google eyes,
which he can prOtrude at pleasure
right outside the sockets, so as to look
in whatever direction he chooses with
out even taking the trouble to turn his
head to left or right, backward or for
ward. At ebb tide this peripatetic
gOby literally walks straight out of the
water, and prOmenades the bare beach
erect on two legs, in search of small
crabs and other stray marine animals
left behind by the receding waters. If
you try to catch him, he hops away
briskly much like a frog and stares
back at you grimly over his left shout
der, with his squirting optics. So
completely adapted is he for this
amphibious lOngshore existence, that
his big eyes, unlike those of most
other fish, are formed for seeing
in the air as well as in the water.
Nothing can be moro ludicrOus than to
watch him suddenly thrusting these
very movable Orbs right out of their
sockets like a pair of telescopes, and
them twisting round in all directions
so as to see before. behind, on top, be-
low, in one delightful circular sweep.
There is also a certain curious trOp-
ical American carp, which, though it
hardly deserves to be considered in the
strictest sense as a fish out of water,
yet manages to fall half way under
that peculiar category, for it always
swims with its head partly above
water and partly below. But the fun
niest thing in this queer arrangement
is the fact that one-half of each eye is
out in the air and the other half is be-
meath the water. Accordingly, the eye
is divided by dark strip into two dis
tinct and unlike proportions, the upper
one of which has pupil adapted to
vision In the air alone, while the lower
is adapted for seeing in the water only.
The fish, in fact, always swims with its
eye half out of the water, and it can see
as well on dry land as in its native
ocean. Its name is Anableps, but in
all probability it does not wish the fact
to be generally known Cor7abiU Mag
nsiue.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
TRADE REPORTS.


Three store Scenes Described by an I'm
gallant Reporter.
(Scene 1-Dry-goods STOREY
Lady Customer-Have you surah silks?
Salesman shows silks.
Lady Customer-Have you an invisible
green?
Salesman shows invisible green.
Lady Customer-Have you a lighter
shade2
Is shown a lighter shade.
Lady Customer-What is the price?
Salesman-Ninety cents.
Lady Customer-Have you anything bet
ter?
Is shown something better.
Lady CustOmer-Have you any for seven
ty-fve cents?
Salesman shows silks for seventy-five
cents.
Lady Customer-Yes, I'll see about it.
Good morning.
(Scene 2-glove department.)
Young Lady-Let me see some kid
gloves.
Salesman-What number and color.
Young Lady-Tan, five and half.
Substantive don't keep misses sizes.
Young Lady (much pleased )-Give me
pair of sevens then.
(Scene 3-shoe store.)
Lady Customer want to see some
shoes.
Salesman-What style and size?
Lady CustomeE-French kid, two's.
Is shown French kid, two's.
Lady CustOmer-What is the price?
Salesman-Four dollars and fifty cents.
Lady Customer-That is very high;
haven't you some for four dollars?
Is shown shoes for four dollars.
Lady Customer-Haven't you some
thing better for the same price?
Sa.lesman-No ma am.
Lady Customer-Haven't you them with
French heels2
Is shown shoes with French heels.
Lady Customer-What price did you say
they were?
Salesman-Four dollars.
Lady Customer-They don't suit exactly
but guess III take a pair.
Salesman-TwOs did you say2
Lady Customer-Two is my size, but as
have a high instep and don't like to cramp
my foot 1 guess you had better give me
four and a half.-DetrOit Free Press
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
A North Carolina Hermit.

In cutting through a gorge in the
Blue Ridge Mountains, near Buncombe
County, North Carolina, recently, a
party of convicts, in charge of Captain
w. G. Troy, at work on a railroad,
found an ancient hermitage dug out Of
the side of the mountain, in a secluded
place. It was rude hut, constructed
with few poles and boards, with one
window with single pane, 8x6, to adj
NIT the light. The only occupants were
an old hermit, who has lived there more
than fifty years, large yellow dog, a
big cat and a raccoon. The appear
ances were those of happy family. In
conversation with the old man, Captain
Troy found him very ignorant He
never had seen a steam-engine
or railroad, and was great
ly disturbed because the laborers
interfered with his home. His bed
clothes were large bear-skins sewed to-
gether, with beautiful buck hide as his
fancy spread to use on big occasions.
The brackets on the walls were of i'm
mense deer horns, and the gun rack
over the door was of the same material.
The old fellow is a great singer, and
amused the Captain greatly with vocal
Chicago Times.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
Why He Paid in Advance.

A traveller up in Shasta County, being
belated, stopped at country hotel and
put up for the night. After eating his
supper he asked the landlord how mncb
it was:
What yer have?"
Liver, ham and eggs, potatoes,
bread and coffee,
Three dollars. -
Here you are. Ahem! Have you
any bolts to your bedroom dOors?"
Eyes, bolts and keys, too"
Il guess l better pay you for my
lodging and breakfast now l always
eat a hearty breakfast, and if you
charge for it like YOU did for my supper
1 won't have anything left for anyone
to steal if they get into my room -
California MdUerjck.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29

a bear, just as true as you live, Luke,
a big onei And if ] hadn't found this
nice hole to crawl into he might have
got me! And those funny dogs came
are they dogs, Luke. or what are
theyP-any way they're awful nice and
playful. One bit off the head of my
doughnut boy, and growled because I
wouldn't let him have the rest"
They carried one of the funny dogs
home, and little Jake had it for play
fellow, and Grandma made little Jake
a coat out of the big bears skin.
But though it all turned out so well,
for long time after little Jake's eight
brothers and sisters all tried to keep
hold of him when they went over
thank-you-ma' am.
And how many times do you suppose
they said:
''If little Jake hadn't thrown out that
apple pie and cheesei' Elizabeth Bjge-
LO10, Ga5 BalLoW's Magazine.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
DESPERATE LOVE.
A Banker Shaving His Wife.

An Ohio banker, who owns farm and
fine herd of blooded stock, recently agreed
with his wife that she should have a certain
heller calf as her own property Some
days afterward he was offered a hundred
dollars for the risky little animal and,
going to his wife, he told her he could get
fifty dollars for it, and asked whether she
desired to sell. She thought what nice
amount of femininities that amount of
money would buy, and authorized him to
make the sale. He did so, and, giving her
one-half OF the hundred dollars, put the
remaining fifty in his pocket and now the
jOkers in his heigbOrhood have started a
report that the banker shaved his vile
Chicago Ledger.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
a VAIN APPEAL
A Scientists Discourag cling Meeting with
Uneducated Detroiter.

A Scientists Discouraging Meeting with
Uneducated Detroiter.
Yesterday a man stood leaning up
against the wall OF the Third Street Depot,
hands in his pockets and q cheap, second.
hand look on his face, when a gray-haired
stranger with self-satisfed air came along
and asked:
"Have you got pencil in your pocket"
The other stared at him but made no re-
ply.
Because 1 want to do little figuring"
continued the stranger. II think I've got
it down pretty fine and that the world will
be astonished."
He held out his hand for the pencil, but
the other man made not the slightest
move.
cit is in regard to sound, " whispered the
stranger, in confidential tones. Il have
discovered that it travels only hall the dis
tance in a given time mathematician have
figured on Let me draw you diagram
and give you my deductions"
No move-not q word.
"May be you are not interested in the
science? No, don't believe you are. III
bet quarter you can't tell the difference
between the Stone Age and the Drift
Period"
No answer
"If 1 should ask you how long since this
entire continent was one immense bed of
ice what answer would you maker"
The Disguised man pulled his right hand
out of his pocket. Then his lett. Then he
assumed a perpendicular position, seized
the stranger and whirled him around and
after walking him to the curbstone gave
him kick and returned and assumed his
original position. The questioner looked
astonished, indignant and grieved as he
turned around, and slowly walking past
his assailant he observed:
"Say! you do that again and I'll Just
make you imagiae that Glacial Period
has struck you between the eyes! Hang it'll
I'll bet a dollar to cent that you can't
guess the age of Lake Erie within a thou
sand years! No sir, and you never heard
of Noah's Ark nor the Deluge!"
But the taciturn man had gone to sleep.
-DetroitFree Press.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
SAD FATE OF A POLICEMAN.

An officer stood at the crossing one day,
VINO, with answering questions was tired,
When beautiful maiden, passing that way
The road to the "depo" inquired.
The weary policeman directed her straight
To the street through which she should go,
when an elderly lady, who seemed to be
For the train, wished to find the "depoe."
Then man with his arms full CT crockery-
ware
Cups, saucers, pitcher and teapot
Came up and inquired, with an anxious air,
The most direct route to the depot"
The officer gave the directions to these,
Though he was annoyed, it was clear;
Then a rustic approached him and said; "h
you please,
Is it far to the 'daypo' from hereT'
A man in pursuit of a runaway pair
Came up with the speed of a hippo
Grin winging its flight through the ambient
air,
Inquiring the way to the "dippo."
The officer silently pointed the way;
His mind was in sad tribulation,
FOR then came an Engllshman, asking; 81
Can you show me the way to the station?"
The officers seen at the crossing no more,
For something's gone wrong in his brain,
And his family has placed him, his mind to
restore,
In home for the harmless insane.
To visit him often his old comrades go,
And he seems to find some consolation
In asking them: Say, is it depo, depOe,
Boston Courier.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
uNsELFIsHNEss.

love my neighbour, oh, so well,
That with my nose I'd have him smell;
With my own eyes I'd have him see,
And with my mind think thoughts like me.
love him so, his ways I'd fix
In trade, religion, politics;
His thoughts, his deeds, bis aims, in fine,
I'd shape to harmonic with mine.
All, would he let me love him so.
How smoothly all our plans would go;
In everything beneath the sun
and my neighbor would be one.
But oft times, when / sit with him
And note his humOr, sweet or grim,
With disappointed heart see
Ny neighbOr is in love with me.
r. J. Burdette, in Brooklyn Ed0Is.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29
Foolish Fears.

Young Wife-There's a gentleman in the
parlor, dear, who wishes to see you.
He-Do you know who it is?
Y. W.-You must forgive me, dear, but
that cough of yours has worried me so of
late, and you take such poor care of your
health, and-and, you don't know how
anxious I've been, and-and oh, if Iwere to
lose you, my darlingl Bursts into tears)
He-There, there, dear. Your fondness
for me has inspired foolish and unnecessary
fears. I'm all right; you mustn't be
alarmed. But III see the physician, of
course, just to satisfy you. Is it DR.. Pei
let?
Y. W.-N-no, it is not a doctor, it's "a
-life-insurance agent.-Life.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29

Wen, boys, Isuppose you enjoyed your
selves?" he said, upon the return Of his two
boys from a weeks visit at grandpa's-
Z" Web, pop, you can just bet we did We
had roast TURKEY candies, nuts and mince-
pies We Just stuffed until we were sick.
I'VE had q Gorgeous time, hadn't we, Tom
my2"
!" Yes, Billy, We had '-Phila delphia Can.
The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-01-29

How is this?" said the angry patron
of ten-cent restaurant the other after
noon. 4" There was rabbit down on the
bill of fare to-day, and didn't get it."
That's all right" said the urbane
proprietor. "You had hash, didn't your"
" Yes. But what has that to do with
it?"
If your eye-sight was at all good,
you'd have found hare in it, The tooth
picks are on the stand there as you pass
out. Sam, the Scaranlouch.