Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-03-01
Mystic Ceremonies Discussed.

Mrs. Yerger.-"You bsye no idea how
much trouble have with my old man.
didn't think it was possible for him to get
any sillier than he was already, but ! was
Mistaken
"What is he up to now?"
HE is always up to some new foolishness.
He is just running the lodge business into
the ground l would like to know all that
goes on in these lodge rooms"
II would, too. Judge Peterby comes
home every night about one o'clock smell
ing Of whisky and beer, and when I ask
him what sort Of smell it is, he has the i'm
pudence to tell me it is incense, which they
use in their mystic ceremonies"
"I've noticed the same smell about Col.
Yerger. He, too, said il was incense, and
that The effect it had on me proved it was
incense, because | became incensed as soon
as smelied it. We poor women never find
out any lodge secrets, for even if man is
ever so talkatiye, when he comes home from
the lodge he is not in condition to talk I
don't know what COL Yerger has been do
ing to deserve it, but they have made him
a Grand Sachen."
"What in the world is that?
UUU'b KNOW. l. ludG ) SOIUS new OEu6T
he has joined. He already belongs to the
Order of the Vailed Nightcaps, and the Or
der of Idiotic Red Mufs, and three or more
Ku-klux gangs"
How did you find out that he is Grand
Sachem? Does he talk in his sleep2"
mo. Day before yesterday WAS his birth
day. Just as we were getting up from the
supper table there came two knocks at the
nd In ITa
the Grand Sachem in his wigwam p Col
Yerger opened tho door, and there was Gus
de Smith, Koscusko Murphy, Nose Schaum.
herg, Gilhooley, Hostetter McGinnis, old
Judge Pennybunker, and 81 lot of those re-
probates. They came into the room in In
dian file. and said Is our red sister we'll p
Just thiuk Of it,"
"rd have scalped them with a fire shovel"
said Mrs Peterhy.
"Then Gillhooley struck an attitude, and
said: Most Noble Grand Sachem, this is thy
birthday, and thy red brethren, the noble
red braves now present in this wigwam, in
consequence Of the high esteem they have
for their noble brother, and his great SER
vices TO the lodge, do hereby present thee,
noble savage, with this gold headed walk
ing cane. Lean on it muss worthy son Of
the forest. on thy stroll in the direction of
the happy hunting grounds behind the set
ting sun"
"Do you allow such proceedings in your
house, Mrs. Yerge,? Why, | would have
scalded them. I'd have cxterminated
themr'
Il couldn't help it. Coonc! Yerger was
very much moved. He said it was the
happiest moment of his life, but that his
heart was too full for utterance aud turn
ing to me, ho had the impudence 10 say,
handing me quarter: Here, noble squaw,
take this string of wampum, go to the cor
ner grocery with the tin growler and bring
some beer, that may make merry with my
red brethren of the forest. Be seated,
braves"
Il would have mopped the floor with
him"
And for week aftcrward he put on lots
OF airs When wanted him 10 walk up
and down with the baby, he said it was not
the business of warrior to carry the
papoose around. For whole week, Mrs.
Peterby, that wretched man talked dime
novel to me until | threatened to invite
mother TO come and stay with us. That
took tho nonsense out ofthe Grand Sachem." g"
What silly fools these men are"
well, amt they ?'-1eras SJtingS.