The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-08-26
THE MAJOR TRIES AGAIN.
THIS TINE HE ESSAYS TO TEACH
DICK LAWN TENNIS.
New York Times.

C,TsK111. N. Y, August 1l.-At the
majors suggestion we took up lawn Ten,
mis- and have played every morning anu
afternoon this week. The major saiu
last Sunday that he thought we oughC u
taka more exercise in the forenoon, SO
that our scientific studies at hearts and
noker in the evening would be less lnlu
rions. To engage constantly IN brain
work he said, would ruin the finest con-
stitntion in the world, and unless DICK
wanted to get more like porpolse IMAM
he is now, lose his intellect and COM
pletely wreck his liver, he'd better brace
M and Join US at lawn tennis. But LICK
said if he couldn't keep out OF an asylum
except by spending four hours gay
knocking ball over fish net, ne q senu
and get a straitjacket at once. beslues,
nick said he never saw man that played
A good game of tennis who was worm al
ANYTHING else the powder 1t would take TO
blow him to hades, and he would
rather himself plunge into insanity at
once, and be locked up in the violent Ward,
than associate with feeble-mlnded experts
at tennis and become an idiot by easy
STAGES. This retort nettled the major
little. for he had Just laid out S27 in
white flannel and other necessarles OF the
game, but after while he came TO the
subject again, and said that If we would
come down to the court he would show US
that tennis, while perhaps not strictly an
intellectual recreation, had its good points.
This invitation was not leveled at DICK,
but Dick followed us down and appeared
to take an interest, at which the major
was, of course, delighted.
First the major showed US the para
phernalia, which were smooth square OF
ground divided by herring net three
feet high and about twenty feet long,
There were two balls used These were
covered with buckskin and very soft,which
Dick said was blessed providence, for if
a hard ball ever collided with dude
thered have to be an inquest, and
that would break up the game.
The smooth square is called court,
and it is marked in large checkers with
whitewash, and the Major explained that
these we're boundaries, and as the ball fell
within or without them the players scored.
The game itself, the Major said, consisted
in driving the ball back and forth over the
net. and whenever it fell within the lines
and was not returned it counted. Then
he asked Dick if that wasn't beautifully
simple, and Dick said it was - simplest
thing he ever saw-just the thing for in
cipient maniacs and convalescents from
brain fever, and he was not surprised at
its popularity. The Major didn't see any
fun in this, but showed us the apparatus
used in knocking the ball - an arrange
ment of wood and tiddlestrings shaped
like a cross between a snow shoe and
frying pan, and which the Major said was
a racquet, the best made, and cost him
$40, but Dick said that was wonderfully
cheap; the last racket had cost him $500
and lasted only three days.
Fa ing explained all this the major
proposed a game, and said that to show
Dick that skill was required he would play
alone against two of us, and that it wasn't
necessary for US to put on knickerbockers,
for they had gone out of fashion, and so
he needn't fear he had to show up like
barrel poised on pair of Indian clubs.
Dick replied to this b. saying he'd rather
look like the barrel and clubs than like a
consumptive broomstick on hairpin, and
then the major got mad and said Dick
couldn't tell good pair of legs when he
saw them, and Dick admitted he couldn't
tell anything about the majors legs in
knickerbockers, unless he had micro
scope, and we had quite flow of bandi-
mage, but after a while the maj or said
he'd knock some of Dicks conceit out
os him at tennis, and so he went up to
the house and borrowed two more
racquet,s and the game began. The major
said he'd "serve" first to show us the way,
and that when he sent the ball to Dick,
Dicks business was to send it where he
couldn't get it. Dick said that seemed
easy enough, but the major laughed and
said we'd see. So he tossed the ball to
Dick. Dick grabbed the racquet with
both hands, braced himself, and whacked
the ball clear over the coward and into
the high grass, where it took the major
ten minutes to find it, and we all smoked
cigarettes in the shade and congratulated
Dick on his superior play. The major
found the ball at last, and came back mad
and said that counted fifteen for him. He
then tossed the ball to me and missed it,
and he said that was 80. Then Dick got
a ball and this time sent it over the barn.
h6 lhdJOI M0uOhCu uluJSSuolJ SOA'S
to drop, and then asked Dick what in
Philadelphia he meant by knocking the
ball in that internal way, and Dick said he
simply obeyed instructions and sent 1t
where he didn't think the major could get
it; and then the major expressed
his feelings in violent manner, and went
off to find the ball, while we had a
pleasant rest under the trees. When the
major came back he looked like lobster
Just out of Turkish bath. He sat down
in the last stages of apopleptic emotion
and explained that brute strength was not
available in tennis; that no Christian ever
knocked the ball outside the court if he
could help it, and that if Dick did that
again it would be a love game. Dick
wanted to know if Glove game" meant a
free fight. and, if so, whether the majnr
preferred red granite or white marble for
a headstone, and the major was so mad he
couldn't see. Finally Dick said he was
sorry if there had been mistake, but he
couldn't see any fun i'll the game unless he
could keep the maj or chasing sky-scrapers,
and if physical strength, intellect and
knickerbockers were all barred he didn't
see what was left but two fools and fish
net, and that hereafter, If he had the
choice. he would rather go off in a corner
and suck a stick of molasses clndy.
The ma iOr sold his rnppuAt last DiUht