Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-11-25
THE WEEKS WIT.

THE WEEKS WIT.
One of the partners in an INDIANA
grist mill which had been closed up by
the sheriff was explaining to New
Yorker the other day that it all came
about through the good management of
his partner. Good management in a
failureg" queried the Yorker. Exact
ly. We keep no books and cashier. The
one who was around the most pocketed
tho most money, and he managed to be
around most.
Its solemn thing, young man. said
the broken hearted father, ito come in
TO the home of an old man and take
away his only daughter the light of his
household, and the prop and solace of
his declining years. But you have my
blessing, and l wish you every Joy and
-" "But | won't take her away, sir"
interrupted the young man, inoxpressibly
agitated. wen both stay right here.n
A Juror in New Jersey court wanted
to ask witness if il was true that he had
been in state prison, but the lawyer oh
jected and the juror put on his hat and
walked ont and licked two officers who
were sent after him. He said if Juror
hadn't any rights he didn't propose to
sit there. If they had rights he wanted
to know who had been in state prison and
who hadn't.
Bobby was evidently very much per
picked. II want to ask you, Mr.. Feather
ly,' he finally said, during a lull in the
conversation, about your house ana
lot" 81 have no house and lot, Bobby"
replied Featherly a trile sadly. 81 sold
them some time ago sold EN- re-
piled Bobby. Then pa must have made
a mistake. heard him say you drank
EN-"
Lecturer-lIow did you enjoy my talk
on Bulgarian Spectator Oh, ex-
celiently, aud so did Brown. He was
there you know Lecturer Indeed he is
a man of genius and can appreciate a
good thing but are you sure he was there !?
EN-Spectator Why, certainly, he and
we're in the cafe, and met our wives
coming out, Oh, yes, he was there.
Simkins Why, Tomkins, old fellow
what is the matter with your Tomkins
--Ah breaking up, I'm afraid Simp.
Too much brain work. Doctor says that
| must stop reading and writing and
avoid intellectual conversation, and "a
Simkins-Very good advice, Come and
spend an evening with us.
First Fisherman What's the matter,
old man, did you forget the lines and
baitY Second Fisherman Confound my
forgetfulnessl Yes. First Fisherman
You remembered the cards and flask it's
to be hoped. Second Fisherman Yes.
FIRST Fisherman Oh, we'll, guess we can
manage somehow.
Manager What is the meaning OF this
item for hardware, $50 in your expense
account? Travelling man Let me see.
Observation-Disclosures. Oh, yes; that is
for poker, Thought il better to tone il
down a little by generalization. 1t isn't
well to be too specific about such things
you know.
"Was the early man savagew asks q
magazine writer. That depends. If the
early man arose at 3 A. NJ and rushed
around like mad TO reach the depot
only to find that We was too early by
about four hours, it is safe TO bet that he
is somewhat savage.
Brown (reading) Five bulls were kill
ed at a bull-fght in Texas the other day.
Fogg Too bad wasn't it? Brown face
tiously) Fortunately it was not in Wall
street. Fogg Fortunate? Why, was
| thinking of Wall street when 1 said too
bad
Youthful Bostonian Mamma, aren't
Mr. Holmes and Mr.. Lowell both absent
from the city?J Mamma believe they
are dear. Y. B.--Wel, can't | call my
trousers pants just while they're away2
Philadelphia men are said TO be SO
homely that they have to take a compos-
lite photograph of sixteen prominent
citizens in order to get picture of re-
spectacle looking mayor.
"Have you heard Lowell's search for
the Lyre," asked Bagley. ono" saiu
De Baggs, "but | heard he was looking
for Julian Hawthorne"