The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-02-20
ETIQUETTE, ATT HOTELS. !
Bill NYe's Valise Not Good for Beard and
Lodging

Bill Nye's Vallse MOI 1000 tor hoafu aio
Lodging.
Etiquette at hotels is a subject thai
has been but lightly treated upon by
| our modern philosophy, and yet it's a
subject that lies very neal to every
American heart. Had | not already
more reforms on hand than | can pos
sihlv successfully operate / would glad
| ly use my strong social influence and
| trenchant pen in that direction. E5i-
quette at hotels, both Oh the part OF the
proprietor, and his liirel ngs, and the
guest. is a matter that calls loudly fol-
Improvement,
| The hotel waiter alone wousa well re-
pay a close study. From the tardy and
polished loiterer Of the effete East to
the off hand and social equal OF the
budding West, all walters are desery-
ing OF philosophical scrutiny. | was
| thrown in contact with waiter ia New
| York last sumner whose manners We're
far more polished than my own. Every
| time saw hin standing there with his
| immediate pauJal0ons and sWalloW-talk
| coat, and the far-aWay, chastened LOOK
| Of one who had been unfortunate, but
| not crushed. felt That / was unworthy
| to be waited upon by such blue-blood-
ed thoroughbred, and | often wished
that We had more such men In Con
gress And when he would take my
| order and go away with it, and after
the meridian of my life had softened
| into the mellow Of the sere and yellow
leaf, when he came back, still looking
quite young and never having forgotten
me, recognizing me readily, after the
long, dull, desolate years, was glad,
and felt that he deserved something
more than mere empty thanks, and /
said to him: aAh, sir, you still re-
member me after years of priyation and
suffering. When every one else in New
York has forgotten me, with the ex-
ception Of the confidence man,
you came to me with the glad light Of
recognition in your clear eye. Would
you be offended if gave you this tri-
fling testimonial of my regard?o at the
same time giving him my note at thirty
| days.
] wanted him to have something by
which to always remember me, and l
guess he has.
Speaking of walters reminds Of one
at GIendiye, Montana. We had to tele-
graph ahead in order to get q place to
sleep, and when we registered the land
| lord showed out an old double-entry
| journal for US to record our names and
post office address in The Office was the
bar, aud before we could get our rooms
assigned us we had to wait forty-five
minutes for the landlord to collect pay
| for thirteen drinks and lick a personal
friend. Finally, when he got around by
me, he told me that could sleep in the
night bar-tender's bed as he would be up
| all night and might possibly get Killed
and never need it again anyhow. 1t
would cost, naa 81. us75'f- y advance to
Steep one night in the bartender's bed,
! he said, and the house was so blamed
full that he and his wife had got to
1 wait until things kind Of quieted down
and then they w,aIld have to put d mat
tress on the fifteen-ball pool table and
sleep there. I called attention to my
valuable yalise that had been purchased
at great cost, and told him that he
would be safe to keep that behind the
| bar till ! paid, but he said he wasn't in
the secondhand vaIise business, and SO
paid in advance. 1t was humiliating.
but he had the edge On me.
! AT the tea-table + noticed that the
waiter was young man who evidently
had not been always thus. He had the
air of one who yearns TO have some one
tread on the tail of his coat. Weakness,
with me, is one of my characteristics.
| 1t is almost a passion. Ut is the result
of personal injuries received in former
years at the hands OF parties who ex-
celled me in brute force, aid who sue
ceeded in drawing me out in CONVERSE
| ton. as it were, till | made remarks
| that were injudiciouS.
| So did not disagree with this waiter,
although I had grounds. When he came
around and snorted in my ear, salt
pork, antelope and cold beans, at the
same time leaning his full weight on
my back, while he eYaded the revenue
laws by retailing his breath to the
guests without ii license. ] thought ]
| would cali for what be had the most of
| SO | said if he didut mind and it
wouldn t be- too much trouble, ] would
take cold beans.
viii leave it to the calm, impassion-
ate and bipartisan reader to state
| whether that remark ought TO create
llll-feeling. / do not think it ought
| However, he was irritable. and life to
him seemed to be cold and dark, so he
went to the general delivery window
| that led into the cold bean laboratory,
! and remarked IN a hoarse. insolent, and
ironicai tone OF voice:
g Neither damned notwithstanding
character wants cold beans.
Bull NYE.
| On the first day Of January, 1885, a
i L.. =. L