The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-03-21
INVENTIVE oRANKs.
A Patent Lawyer Tells of Some Funny Ex-
periences with His Clients.

A Patent Lawyer Tells Of Some Funny Ex-
periences with His Clients.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
'Do run across many cranksa' said a we'll
known patent lawyer yesterday afternoon, in
answer to a reporters question. aWel, young
man, all cranks are not inventors, and possibly
all inventors are not cranks, but good many of
them are badly hit Now there is a German
who lives on the South Side, one of the most in
telligent men ever met, with no sign of crank
ness about him except in one thing He wants
TO patent process for making gold. For over
year he has been dropping into my Office and
trying to get me to get his papers for him. All
right III say, explain me your process and
I'll make out your application
"'Oh, no, he says, mo one shall ever know
that but myself They will never know that
in the Patent Office even And he will go away.
| have asked him why he didn't make some gold
himself sOh. no. he always replies; the secret
is too valuable. I dare not until get it pro-
tectec,' and that is all he will tell me. One of
the great peculiarities Of inventors is their sus
picious natures Whether look like q rascal or
not l can't say positively, but about half the
people who come to me seem to think that am.
They seem to carry the idea that sit up here
like spider in web. just waiting to steal some
ones idea and patent it
about week ago tall, thin-faced young
man craned his neck in through the door, and
looked all around the room to see If was alone.
Then he walked over, looked under the drawing
the next room He was evidently satisfied that
everything was safe, for he came mp to me and
almost whispered: I've got something that viii
make $40. 900 a month
"sYou have? said L
"sYes. Do you want to take an interest in itq
No. said |. i never invest in patents, but If
you have good thing you'll have no trouble in
getting capital. What have you gotp"
Again he looked furtively around the room.
and then pulled out an envelope. Along the
where tha fan ti1Ppa he had naSted
string, the ends of which stuck out about an
eighth of an inch after the envelope was sealed.
The purpose was to take hold of one end of the
string when you wanted to open a letter, and by
pulling it, open the envelope In the same way
that it would be opened by knife The scheme
is as old as the Patent Office and in one year
there were l35 applications for patent on the
same thing.
. MY friend said i, do you really think there
is $40, 600 month in thisa'
"'Oh, yes he said I have figured il out,
and it will only cost $50 q month to make and
sell 10000 worth
".But. said I, do you know that there are at
least 1000 models Of the same plan in the Patent
Office nowr
tits - lie.' said he, getting excited, 'and
let me tell you, mister, I'm onto your little
game. l didn't have much confidence in you
when l came in here. an I've got less now I'll
telegraph to the Commissioner Of Patents before
az hour, an just shut off your getting out any
patent on this That's what I'll do. and out he
went, aud 1 have seen nothing of him since
good many of them will bring models here
which won't work. because they don't want to
show the whole plan. They want patent, but
want to keep their process secret
ut is surprising how many applications there
are upon old inventions. Here a gentleman
came in few days ago with model of glass
tombstone which he wanted to patent. He was
very much surprised and crestfallen when /
showed him that there were number of patents
covering the whole business. Another man
came to me month or two ago with the work
ing model of rotary churn. upon which he
wanted patent
I" See here said /, that looks very much like
machine patented about six years ago, as a
washing machine
"'Oh. yes he replied. TT was patented as q
washing machine, but I want to patent it as a
churn and then put it on sale out among the
farmers to be used for both, don't you see.'"
"'Well,' said l, You'd better take that home
and remodel it so that it can be used as cLild's
crib also, and then patent it. I'd just as soon
have my butter made in a crib wash-tub,
and there is no more reason why the baby
shouldn't be put to sleep in chu-n than there is
that the family linen shouldn't be washed in it.
l didn't take his case and can't say whether no
got his patent or not