davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
THE STORM.
DY GEORGE ALEXANDER STEVENS.

DY GEORGE ALEXANDER STEVENS.
Cease, rude Boreas, clustering railer
list, ye landsmcn. all to me,
Messmates, hear a brother sailor
Sing the dangers of the sea;
From bounding billows, first In motion,
When the distant whirlwinds rise,
To the tempeSt-troubled ocean,
Where the seas contend with skies.
Hark! the boatswain hoarsely bawling,
BY topsail sheets and halyards standl
Down top-gallants quick he haulingl
Down your stay-sais, hand, boys, handl
Now it freshcns, set the braces,
Quick the topsail sheets let go;
Luff, boys, luf! don't make wrv faces,
Up your t0psails nimbly clew.
Round lis rnars the tempest louder,
Think what fear our minds enthralls!
Harder yet, it yet blows harder.
Now again the boatswan calls.
The topsaIl yard point to the wind, boys,
See all clear to reef each course;
Let the fore sheet go. don't mind, boys,
Though the weather should be worse.
Fore and aft the spirit-sail yard get,
Reef the miZlen, see all clear;
Hands up! each preventive brace set!
Man the fore yard, cheer, lads, cheer!
Now the dreadful thunder s roaring
Peal on peal contcndng clash,
On our heads fierce rain falls pouring,
In our eyes blue lightnings flash.
One wide water al around us.
All above us one black sky;
Different deaths at once surround us:
Hark! what means that dreadful cry?
The forcmast s gone cries every tongue ou
O'cr the lee twelve feet 'bove deck;
A leak beneath the chcst-tree S sprung out,
Call all hands to clear the wreck.
/ Quick the lanyards cut to pieces
Come, my hearts, be stout and bold;
Plumb the wcll,--the leak increases,
-Four feet water in the hold!
While DER the ship wild waves are beating.
| We our wives and children mourn;
Alas! from hence there S no retrcating,
Alas! to them there IS no return!
Still the leak is gaining on us!
| Both chaln-pnmps are chOkcd below;
Heaven have mercy here upOnus!
For only that can save us now.
O'er the lcc'bcam is the land, boys,
Let the guns O'crbOard be thrown:
To the pumps call every hand. boys,
| See! our mZzCn-mast is gone.
The leak we've found, it cannot pour fast;
We've lighted her foot or more;
Up and rig II jury foremost
She rights she rights, boys !we're of shor
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
An End to Bone Scraping.

Edward Shepherd, of Harrisburg, ILL.,. /,
says: "Having received so much benc-
fit from Electric Bitters, | feel il my
duty to let suffering humanity know it.
Have had a running sore on my leg for
eight years; my doctor told me l would
have to have the bone scraped or leg
amputated. | used, instead. thee bottles
of Electric Bitters aud seven boxes
Bucklen's Arnica Salve, and my leg is
now sound and we'll"
Electric Bittcrs are sold at fifty cents
bottle, and Bucklen's Arnica Salve at
25c. per box by II. ID. Thomas.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
TOO MUCH GRIEF.

whats the news in your town?'
"Well, nothing much, except that
the widow Smokers ran away with a
barber"
with barber?"
"Yes, and niger at that, as black
as the ace of spades"
"'You don't say so. How do you sup
pose she came to do that?"
Il can't say, unless perhaps it is be-
cause she is wearing black yet for her
husband. l guess she wanted TO pre-
serve the unities by running away with
a Legro instead of white man."
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
A Sensible Man

would use Kemp's Balsam for the throat
and lungs. 1t is curing more cases of
coughs, colds, asthma, bronchitis, Group
and all throat and lung troubles, than
any other medicine. TAeproprietor has
authorized Biery, of Weissport, and
Thomas, of this place, to refund your
money if, after taking three-fourlhs of
bottle, relief is not obtained. Price
SOC. and 81. Trial size free.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

Night after night l waited patiently
in the moonlight. until at last l gave up
looking for her. She did come one
night, however, with an elderly gentle
man whom did not know. was in
my old place in the stecrage. Some of
the other passengers were around,
lounging about, leaning over the rails,
but had chosen my seat where | could
see without being seen.
saw her face. 1t was as had hoped,
a lovely, youthful face, and could hear
every infection of her clear low voice.
'Quite nice people, l suppose, go as
stcerage passengers sometimes" | heard
her say.
"Oh, yes, even gentlemen in reduced
circumstances. Indeed l once had a
rich friend-you might call him crank
who went for the fun of the thing
he said, TO see life in a new phase. l
believed he liked it best" and the old
gentleman laughed.
"a girl with such face" l said to
myself, "must be worth winning; by no
means as beautiful as my former divinity
but more lovely in every way" Lily
was taller, more queenly, but this girl
with the sweet voice and glorious, star
like eyes was, in every way but the mere
matter of fortune, her cousins superior.
Of that felt assured, and was quite
willing her image should haunt me.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

"A philosopher says "any one can
get married" Thon there is no excuse
for old maids after all,
Il enclose 25c,, send mother Hop
Plaster. She suffers from weak back.
1t cured him"
If you feel like raising cane, buy a
sugar plantation.
DO not take quinine for .malarisl dis
orders. Ayers Aguo Cure contains
none, nor any other Injurious ingredi-'
ent This preparation iftaken strictly
IN accordance With directions, Is war.
fanted tocure all nlal4riat diseases,
II don't ob'e I 70 te-hg kicked out
sail the Offensive nariiian, "but III like
to kaow why Ini kicked.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

THREE EFFECTS. The thousands
of remarkable cures which have been ac-
complishcd by Hoods Sarsaparlla are
due simply to three effects which this
great medicine has upon those who
take il:
First: II purifies the blood.
Second: 1t strengthens the SYSTEM
Third: 1t gives healthy action TO the
digestive organs.
With these three effects no disease
can long retain its hold 1t is forced to
leave the system, giving place to health
and strength, through the potent in
ilnencc of Hoods Sarsaparilla. Sold by
all druggists. Try It,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
Bucklen's Arrica salye.

The best salvc in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rhuem, fever
sores, tetter, chappel hands, chilblands,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required.
1t is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac-
ton, or money refunded. Price % cents
per box, at Il. d: Thomas.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

-Discouraging matrimony. "And
phat wud ye want sich man as Pat
rick fer?" said Mrs. McGlonr. "Ye
niver cui thrust him out of yer sight,
onless ye was wild him."
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
DR.. Frazler's Root Bitters.

Frazier's Root Bitters are not dram
shop beverage. But are strictly mcdi-
cinal in every sense. They act strongly
upon the liver and kidneys, keep the
bowels open and regular, cleanse the
blood and system of every impurity.
Sold by druggists, sl.00. AT Thomas
drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
-- --------
DR.. Frazer's Magic Ointment

A sure cure for all boils, burns, sores,
cuts, flesh wounds, sore nipple, hard
and soft corns, chapped lips and hands.
Price 80 cents. Sold by druggists. vii
liams Mfg. Co., Props, Cleveland,
o. Sold by Thomas, the druggist.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

The following persons visited the schools
during The mouth Prof 7. N. Ballet, Prof.
I. a. snydar, Mr.. James smiIh, director,
'Mrssrs. G. " GRADY, Geo. Morthit9er, ". q.
Xander, While Dreher, Fred Rfeher, Misses
A.s.... al. ssll.c Fa-rea, T. X, GFayer,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

One important difference between a
man and a woman is that a man puts his
clothes on him, while woman puts
herself in her clothes.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
No Pate ntANo Pay.
PATENTS

obtained for Inventors in the United States
Canada and Europe. at reducedrates. With
our principal Office located in Washington,
directly opposite the United States Patrnt
Office, we are able to attend to all patent
business with greater promptness and de
spatch and at less cast than other patent at
torneys who are at a distance from Wash
ington. and who have. therefore. to employ
" associate attorneys" We makelrelimi inary
examinations and furnish opinions as to pa-
tentnbiiity, free Of charge. aud aII who are
interested IN new Inventions and latents are
invited to send for cory OF our 'Iiude for
obtaining Patents" whi, II is sent free to
any address aud contains COM Iete instruc.
tlons how TO obtnin parents and other valua
ble matter. We refer to the Gcrman-Amer-
loan National Rank Washington. II. g. the
Royal Swedish. Norwegian and Danish Lrga
tions. at Washington Hon. Jos. Casey, late
Chel Justice u. =. Court Of Claims: to the
Oihctals of the u. 8 Patent - .fiee, and to
Senators and Members of Congress from
every State. l.
Address: LOUIS BNGGER& CO., So
licitOrs OF Patents and Attarneysat Law Le.,
Droit Ruilding WAsIINGToN. ID. q,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

The Principal OF the schools presents the
following report with reference 10 the con
dition, progress, etc, Of the schools for the
month ending MAY o.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

Sunshine is like love--it makes
everything shine with its own beatty
Wilson.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

"A policeman's club isnot a suitable
one to join. One generation has a
swelled head after the meeting.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
a SIuuuisIi EiVer

Causes tire Stomach and Bowels to be-
come disordered, and the Whole system
to suffer from debility. In all such
cases Ayers Pills srvc prompt relief.
After much suffering from Liver and
Stomach troubles. J. lave fiinally been
cured by taking ,.AFrr > CaihprtH' Pills
always find thcn prompt and thorough
IN their action, 9,i,l tluir occasional use
keeps me ia q prFi7fh healthy condi-
zion. - Ralph WccmIn. AnuanGls Md.
Twcntv-dvc years ago suaured from
Il torpid liver, winch was restored TO
healthy action hy taking Aytr's Pills.
Since that time ] hlve.upvt1 been with
ont thm They regulate tho bowels.
assist digestion, and increase the appe-
tuc, more surely Than any other iucdi-
cine. Paul Churchill, Haverhlll, Mass.
lNVIGORATED.
I know Of no remedy equal TO Ayers
Pills for SUmarh aiht Liver disorders.
Suffered from a Torpid Dys-
pchSia, for eighteen mpiltliS, My skin
was yellow, and hiFttngie coated
n no appetite, Suffered from Head
pche, was pale and cinaciatcd, A few
loXcs of Ayers Pills, taken in moderate
loses. restored me to perfect health. -
Waldo Miles. Oberlin, Olno
Ayers Pills are superior family
medicine. They strengthen and invig-
Ora'c the digestive organs, create an APP
Nctitc, and remove the horrible doprcSi-
sion AMI deSpnndcncv resulting from
liver Complaint J have. used these
Pills in my family, FOR years, and they
never fail to give rntire satisfaction. =
Otto Montgomery, Oshkosh Wis.
Avnr's pills
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

-"You hired Inc" said the laboring
man, ''and now want you to higher
my Wagesp .. ... r
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

If you're searching for more IL
norance than you have on hand, always
90 10 an ..intnllignnce ofiicr.n
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

GENTs:-I feel it my duty 10 say re.
specting Burdock Blood Bitters, that it is
the best medicine ever took. suffered
two or three years from stomach troubles
and dyspepsia as well as from liver anl
In much the same way. We read ofyour
Biters in the papers and made up our
minds that VIC would TN them. The result
is my wife and began TO improve at once,
and am now able to do more hard work
alan before in ten years. IL relieved my
kidney Troubles as well. We both wish
YOU tho makers of it.lG GOdspeed. ~
,.-s JOSEPH LANDON, I"
Chelsea, VI.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

We took our honeymoon trip back in
the Persia. Since the failure of the
great banking house of Dufour Brothers,
and the death of tho banker himself,
Lily has had a home with us, for feel
that in some sort owe to her my
treasure of a wife.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

n m01MN Dollar per year, is the
0A::::;;: !; ! !: ;: ;'!; 3s5;;: "a a. n 4:
MIN 41teTestjpg letters from New
sy=---.- York Washington, the
South, and other points. sIlie only'pa-
per 10 the county ~ sl.0o per year.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS.
HOUSE,
K1sTLER, PRopRlEToR

BANK ST., LEHIGHToN, PA.
The CARBos HOUSE, offers first-class accom-.
M odations to the Travelling public. Boarding
by the Day or Week on Reasonable Terms.
Choice Cigars, Wines and Liquors always on
band. Coed Sheds aud Stables. with atteu-
tive Hostlers, attached. April lO-yl,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12

When Baby was sick We gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castora,
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,
When she had children, she gave themC astoria
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-12
Ayers Pills,

rrrrared hy Dr.J. c. Aver & Co, Lowell. Mass
sold 10y all Druggists and DcalerH in Medicine.
The Brookhaven leader., 1886-02-25
ADVERTISEMENTS.
PifH AND POINT.

There are eight million piano-play-
srs In this country. We have much 10
be thankful for, 1t might be ten million,
or even more.-DdnU5lIe Breeze.
-Assessor-This land seems to be
very fertile? Farmer-Quite SO. Even
II the crops do fail, the taxes on IL al
ways grow.-C Chicago Ledger.
"A woman may not be able to
sharpen pencil or throw stone at q
hen, but she can pack more articles in Q
trunk than a man can in a one-horse
wagon--Hot Springs Nesos.
Have you read Whatshisname's
poem?" mo, sir, don't read poetry,
write it." "Well. suppose that does
prejudice you against verse somewhat;
but can assure you that some poetry Is
really worth reading. Tran
script
"A young man who held loaded
pistol to his head, and threatened 20
blow his brains out unless the girl who
had refused him would consent to have
him, was coolly told by the young lady
he would have to blow some brains into
his head first. He didn't blow.-M T.
Independent.
-Esmeralda Longcoffin-I believe,
Mr.. McGinnis, that you think i am
stupid creature. Hostetter McGinnis-
o, no, nothing of the kind. Nobody
can be called stupid who can 80 accu-
rately divine the thoughts of another as
you have done mine.-Tsras Siftipgs.
Robbie" said his father, you've
sat there looking out of the window and
haven't moved a muscle for thirty-five
minutes. Now, why couldn't you sit
still that way this morning?" ''Sit still
this morningP' echoed Robbie, in amaze
ment. "How could sit still this morn
ing? was in rchr'-Burdette.
Miss Diffident-Aunty, you don't
understand Italian, and your applaud
ing at the wrong time attracts attention
to you from all over the house." Mrs.
Vdlgarien (sharply)-My dear, you see
this new wrap? It cost eight hundred
dollars to import. What do you think
l came here for?"-Philadelphia Press.
"A countryman and his bride applied
at the box-office for tickets. Orchestra
chair, parquette or family circleP' asked
the ticket-seller. "Which'1l it be, Ma
rier?" asked the groom. well" she
replied, with a blush, ''bein' as how
we're married now, p'rhaps it would be
proper to sit in the family circle. ~
Nashville american.
The Locomotive publishes engrav-
ings in each issue, showing how boilers
look just after tLey have exploded. This
doesn't seem to hit the case at all. What
is needed is a picture showing how
boiler looks just before it is going to ex-
plode. We could then learn when to
get out of the wsy.-Neso Hauer Regis
ter.
Whistler, the artist, who writes
about ''nocturnes in red, symphonies
in blue" and arrangements in white"
is coming to this country to lecture.
This move is supposed to be an-"ar-
rangement in gold" but Whistler may
personate a nocturne in '.blue" when he
returns home minus the American dol
lars he covets.-Norristoa0 Herald.
The Brookhaven leader., 1886-02-25
TEMPERANCE ITEMS.

A DRUNKARD is a man who has failed
as moderate drinker.-Norh Wales
Record.
VIGOROUS efforts are being made to
introduce by legislative action the study
of Temperance hygiene into the public
schools of Louisiana and Mississippi.
THE New York Tribune has an edi-
torial on the rapid spread of the Tenn
perance reformation in the South. Ii
says that already in vast districts of the
Cotton States not drop of ardent spir.
its can be bought except as medicine,
and that prohibition is making grea,
strides in Mississippi and other States.
DRUNKENNEss is not only the cause
of crime, but it is crime; and if any en-
courage drunkenness for the sake of
the profit derived from the sale of
drink they are guilty of a form of moral
assassination as criminal as any that
has ever been practiced by the braves
of any country or of any age.-Rusktn.
THE Texas ADVOCATE says: "Mer-
chants at Bedias and lola say they
would not have whisky sold again in
these towns for one thousand dollars a
year. Fourteen thousand dollars
wortk was sold per year. it is said, At
lola. Now men pay their debts and
have something left, who did but little
more than pay their whisky bill"
The Brookhaven leader., 1886-02-25
RETAIL DEALERS PROFITS.
The Results of a Statistieian's Investiga-
tion of This Subject.

The Results of a Statistician's Investigs-
tion of This Subject.
1t is often stated and generally be-
lieved that the prices charged by re-
tail dealers in various lines of trade are
excessive. This view is shared by the
public, and writers on economics some
times advance the same opinion, based,
as they claim, upon the difference be-
tween the wholesale and retail prices
paid for goods, such as groceries. meats,
dry goods, etc. Some go so far as to
affirm that the most grinding monopo-
lies are not the so-called great institu-
tons or systems or corporations, but
rather the retailers who make it so ex-
pensive to live by their high rates for
various articles of household consump-
ton.
However this may be, statistician
has been investigating the subject and
calls attention to several points of in
terest which are set forth in the Ameri-
can Grocer of recent date. Attention
is directed to the value of the service
demanded of the retailer, its cost
and risk, and a comparison is
suggested between these and the invest
ment of the time and money of the
banker, the manufacturer, the profess
sional man and persons employed in the
civil service. 1t is contended that the
gross profits of retail grocer average
the country over not above sixteen per
cent, of which eight per cent. is re-
quired for the cost of the service. This
is averred to be particularly true in the
larger cities, as shown in the increased
cost of supplying rich families over
poor ones, involving palatial stores, ed
ucated clerks, calling for orders, deliv.
ering goods, greater variety of the
stock of luxuries, etc. And attention is
directed to the bulk of the retailers trade
being made up of perishable goods, such
as dairy products, eggs, poultry, fish.
vegetables, fruits, etc., while the staples
are sold at cost or nearly cost, and the
profit must come in somewhere else, or
oD the fruits, spices, fancy groceries and
luxuries generally.
1t is held that the retailers capital
and labor yield an income much below
what is received for similar investment
of time and money in almost any other
reputable trade or calling. The state
ment is made that the sales of
a majority of the retail grocers
in large cities will not reach
$50. 700 a year. If his net profit is eight
per cent. based on the cost of the goods,
his income would, ON that amount of
sales. be 5000. out of which he must
live, meet bad debts, keep up and in
crease his business, etc. 1t is shown by
this shrewd statistician that dealer who
sells 81, 900 of goods year has an in
come of $S26, which is equal to the sal
airy of a chorus girl in an opera COM
pany; if he sells SIS, 900 worth his in
come is the same as that of q policeman;
and if he should do business of $780,
900 year he win have salary equal to
that Of French cook CAicage tatar-
0ceas.
The Brookhaven leader., 1886-02-25
WORK OF FUNNY MEN.
A Family Calendar and Book OF Health
and Humor for the Million.

and Humor FOR the miIiions
We are in receipt of . little book
which, in richness of humor and gro
tesqueness of illustration, may be said,
in the language of the wild West, to
'.take the cake.' 1t is simply drawing
it mild to say that it contains some OF
the best examples of American humor
ever published; and the contributors,
who are well-known in the field OF let
tiers, have really excelled all former
efforts. The illustrations by comic art
lists are also in direct harmony with
the text. ssBill Nye" tells his ex-
perienee with a cyclone. r. K. Mum
kittrick, of Puck, rhymes funnily on
the four seasons. Mr.. H. ID. Umbstaet-
ter, the originator of the book. de-
scribes his wrestle with a grilled bone
in .'merrie England" and IN. Quad,
of the Detroit Free Press, gives some
quaint aphorisms of 'Brudder Card
ner's." The book. in fact, is not one
to be glanced at and laid aside and for
gotten, but can be taken up with pleas
ure at any time. Its title Is the So.
Jacobs OIL Family Calendar aud Book
of Health and Hnnlor for the Miiltofs for
1856. 1t is published by the Charles
A. vogeler Company, Baltimore. Md,
the proprietors of st. Jacobs Ola
remedy which is universally known as
the only cure for rheumatism and all
bodily pains. and which has been in
dorsed by leading men in every coun-
try in the world. Red Star Cough
Cure. the new twenty-five cent remedy
for throat and lung troubles, which il
also being manufactured by this house,
has received the Endorsement of legis-
lators and boards of health on account
of its freedom from dangerous opiates
and its prompt efficacy. The book is
and in small towns by druggists. When
there is any difficulty in obtaining it,
stamp sent to The Charles A. Vogeler
Company, win insure copy by mail.
--E1chanQe.
The Brookhaven leader., 1886-02-25
FIRE AND BRiMsTohE.
A Relish Which Spoke Louder Than she
Parsons Sermons.

A Relish Which Spoke Louder Than the
Parsons Sermons.
A West of Scotland clergyman was
going to the Highlands for his holidays.
and being very fond of the ''Nabob
Pickles." he took bottle with him.
The '.Nabob Pickles. are extremely
hot, and should be sparingly used. Ar
rived at hotel. he placed the bottle on
the table and took one or two of them.
A Yankee was sitting opposite, and got
his eye on the pickles. stranger. pass
the pickles. please" The Clergyman
said: These are private property. but
you are welcome to them" He passed
the bottle across the table. The Yankee
emptied half the bottle into his plate,
and stirred them well up with his spoon.
He took big spoonful, but they were
not long down when he drew long
breath, and said: ss0h. dodgast Il!
Look here. stronger. guess you are
parson?'' ..Wel. am clergyman.
and / preach the Gospel" Look you
here, said the Yankee. II have heard
them preach about fire and birthstone,
but you are the first one know who
carries . sample bottle QAyisfiag
Uni0n.