The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1886-04-02
was at liberty most Of tho day, but

was at liberty most Of the day, but
had 10 report himself every nlght at
quarters prior to lookup hours.
At last, when the end OF the season
came, "Poor Pill" sought Miss We're at
her lodgings, and breaking down in a
paroxysm of grief terrible to behold,
declared that il left behind in that
dreadful place he must die. Miss We're
was q young lady of resources. She
had a mans heart in q woman body,
and having given her word that he
should not be left behind, she there
and then arranged a plan of action
with Larry.
On the last night the play was
"Hamlet," which was finished by half
past 10. That evening "Pil' was
conspicuous by his absence. Every
body was astonished but Miss We're
Larry and the manager.
Fitz Edmund, who played Hamlet,
said he thought it strange that Pilu-
quesne had not turned up to say
Goodbye"
The manager replied: I'M. Piluquesne
is gentleman, and knows what he is
about"
The performance was over altogeth-
Ell about IL. The carts were waiting
at the door, and Larry and the men
were occupied in packing the proper
ties and wardrobe for the next town,
when Lieut.. Carter Ia grim, lank Of
ficer), who had charge Of the depot
that night, came down with file of
men and demanded to know in the
most peremptory manner what had be-
come of Piluquesne.
"Divil wan OF me knows" replied
Larry. Gather all done for him he
might have been afther lukkin' round
to give wan a leg up the last night;
but it's just the way with them un-
grateful thieves of foreigners. Bad
luck to them; they're all alike, every
mothers son of 'em!'
While the subject was being thus
holly discussed between the lieutenant
and Larry Ophelia' coffin was brought
out and carefully deposited on the
cart beside Yorick's skull, the pickax,
the spade and the shrouding sheet,
etc.
"That's arum rig out to travel with"
growled the lieutenant.
"Why, sure, captain, said Larry,
"you wouldn't have us go borrowing
the blessed paraphcrnalia in every
town we 60 to. Suppose, now, the
mistress happened to be stretched out
wild her toes upward, and ak your
honor's butler for theloan of la cofiin?"
"None of your lip, you impudent,
bogtrotting Paddy!" roared the en-.
ragged officer as he ordered his men to
the "Right about face; quick march"
AS the gallant lieutenant turned the
corner, had he been able to look two
ways at once, he might have seen the
property man executing an Assyrian
hieroglyph in therear. Perhaps it was
Just as well that he didn't witness that
interesting performance.
Half ali hour later Larry made n
start for Derby. When they were well
out of town he looked round to see
that he was unobserved. Then he UNI
did the screws of Ophelia's coffin.
There in the moonlight lay poor Pilu-
quesne, sleeping like "the baby of a
girl, and smiling in his sleep.
"Aha! NIishter Lonelegs," cried
Larry. ''you can lock the stable door
now that the horse has bolted, but
you're not SO cute as you think you
are, for all you wear an epaulette OH
the one shoulder of you that's up to
your ear"
Day was breaking when they got to
Derby; but, unseen and unsuspected,
Larry contrived to smuggle his pre-.
cious charge into the theatre, where
"the boys and girls" kept him conceal
ed for q week or two, till they had
dubbed enough money to enable them
to send him to London by mail, hav-
ing previously squared" the guard
and driver.
Now, of course, all things being
smooth and the coast Gear, "Poor
PIP ought to have got safely to Lon
don, from London to France, and to
"have lived happy ever after" with
his mother, or to have become an ad-
miral or Il post captain at least; but
unfortunately fact and fate refused to
be squared" by fiction, however
guards and drivers of mail coaches
may be.
A distinguished authoress, referring
to little book of mine recently pub
lished, said to me at the haymarket
the other night, the night of the Ban
crofts' farewell:
"You shouldn't have made that
poor young fellow die. l declare, it
makes me quite unhappy to think of
his lying out there in the snow on her
grave"
Whereupon I replied: "My dear
madam, didn't make him die-he
did die" So "Poor Pil''-but am
anticipating.
He had soft pleasant ways, and be-
euiled the time by making little toys
for the ladies, with whom he was an
especial pet, and by assisting Larry,
who became more and more attached
to him. The poor lad had been ailing
u long time-was consumptive, and
racked with a torturing and suffocat-
ing cough.
The night before his departure
Miss We're and the girls had prepared
an omelette with sweet herbs and
some chicken broth, while the mana
ger and the boys brought him pos.
set made with whey and white wine.
The girls tucked HIM up in his COM
fortably-improvised bed in the green
room, kissed him and babe him good
night.
The lads remained to cheer him up;
some of them even talked of running
over to see him at his home in Nor.
mandy.
He frightened up wonderfully, sang
them "L'Amour, L Amour" and talk
ed hopefully of his journey on the
morrow.
Larry was the last to leave him.
"Embrassez-moi, mon cher Larrie"
said "Poor Pill"
The Irishman understood him well
enough then, and he gently gathered