Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-26
BRIGHT BITS.

WHAT is more pathetic than to see the sim
pie faith with which Il bald headed man will
buy an infalliole hair restorative from a bald
headed barber?-DetrOu F'ee Press.
CLOCKS are n made with luminous faces,
so that the time can be easily read at night.
The clock can no longer make the statement
that 1T can not see its "hand before its face."-
YoRkers Statesman.
On hammock papa chanched to blunder,
Wh9re twas swinging in leafy niche;
And theNld mau paused awhile to wonder
yWhichwas which. '
fAa>a st Merchant Trdrelsr.
''Tnfs ID Just the weather for my cotton
CROP" said the State street man on Tuesday.
fNery likely" rejOined his perspiring
friend; "but why should be roasted to help
cook your cotton, l don't see."-BostOn Beacon.
SAM JONES latest epigrammatlc remark:
IA person with more sense than religion Is
generally a rascal, and a person with more
religion than sense is generally fool" We
fail to remember just at present whether il is
his religion or his sound horse sense upon
which Mr. Jones especially prides himself
Kansas CITY Journal.
LOUISE MICHEL, the French Anarchist, saws
she hopes to come to America after death,
when her sonl migrates. II she dOsen't come
before we shall not object. If the male An
archist, Nlnilist and Socialist would follow
LOElise's example and resolve not to come to
this country until after death, Americans
would have a better opinion of them.-Nor-
riSt ram Herd3d.
RETURNED MANUsCRIPT.-Flrst Editor
Did you receive my challenge?
Sacond Editor-Yes.
First Editor-What do you mean to do about
it?
Second Editor-Nothing.
First Editor-Nothlng! Do you mean TO iR-
more me entirely2
Second Editor-You should have sent two
cent stamp if you wanted your manuscript
returned lid Bits.
s.WHAT is a contin snt fee?' asked liti-
| CANT of a well known attorney the other day
WELL" said the legAlite, "if l take your
| case ami Jose it get nothing
| Eyes, yes; that's all right" +
,..,Eut i, win the case you get nothing"
How's that? HOw's thstP l don't think l
! understand YOU"
The attorney calmly repeated his state
ment. The still nonplused lIgant persisted
"If ! understand you, in neither case get
| anything" ~
':Wrll, you know that's not my fault: but
| that the meaning of a contingent fee. Shall
bring suit? What did you say? No! Well,
| am very sorry. Good morning. Pttts6ur O
| Press.
DIR. JETER was once informed that a
! preacher, in deriding baptism, had SAID that
! he dr. Jeterl, when he lived down IN the
| Northern Neck, led a few dozen candidates
| for baptism far out into the RappahannocK
| river, and that just then, before he had bap-
tized them, a shark dashed by, and DR. Jeter
| and all the candidates broke for the shore,
| anu. as IheY were nurrylhR IN, the Cnolr on
the banks struck up
''Pull tor the shore, brother;
| st Pull for the Shore" 4
! The old doctor replied: There is not a
| word of ruth IN 1T. That hymn had not then
been written, and no shark had ever appeared
! in that river. 1t is lie, sir; it is nothing but
| a iie.'-Richncnd Religious Herald.
! SONG OF YACHT
| A white winged yacht;
It's name was Dacht:
He sped to seques erred spacht.
| The day was MS chit.
| Exceeding hacllt,
Esough to roast Hachtentacht.
| OF skill he'd nacht
A single jacht,
But like an arrow out he shacht
| He knew not wacht
| Would be HIS lacht,
! Uatil his sailboat went to pacht
| Now, in his cacht,
| All is a blacht-
He'll never go again, l wachti
It'd Bits.