Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-08-11
OF F..

| We are quite willing that the dynamite
bomb should go anywhere except of.-Bos-
| ton Post.
An exchange says that great many her
nits have been discovered in Pennsylvania.
| That's always the case about tax collecting
time.-Burlington Free Press.
It is now estimated that an Alpine glacier
moves at the rate of four inches a year.
| Somebody ought to get up an international
race between glacier and district messen-
ger boy.-Washington Hatchet.
| "Hows You ave a daughter grown up,
madamea Impossible! And she is very
beautiful, Mees your daughter?"
"oh. no, Monsieur. Very clever, but not
| "Ah, zen she certainly do not take after
you. Punch.
| Peterby-"The French people are q won
derfully appreciative lot You may see mon
uments to their great men all over the coun-
| try. Now, I understand, they are going to
| erect one to the memory of Rabelais. "
| Hawkins-"H'm! hadn't heard of that.
Did he have wonderful memory, then?''-
| Tidbits.
| Another Idol Broken.-Now comes an
| ieonoclast and says there is a colored man
| who lives at Mount Vernon, where George is
| buried. and he told lady that once there
/ was little slave boy who lived in Mr.. Wash
ington's family, and that what George really
| said was: ''I cannot tell lie, father, Ike did
it," but that the father didn't hear straight
The stealing of two clocks from one of the
| Presbyterian churches in this city last Sun
| day morning was piece of cold -blooded
| cruelty. The amount of comfort and en-
couragement some people derive from an
| occasional glance at the clock dnring a ser
| vice is not to be put into figures, unless one
uses the Roman figures usually seen on the
dial.-Detroit Christian Herald.
Modern Science. Gilhooly-stIt is aston
| ishing what progress has been made by sci
| ence during the last few years. 1t is won
| derful in how many instances, thanks to
| science, the genuine article can be initiated" :"
| Gus De Smith-''Yes, a New York firm
advertises for artificial flower boys. How
| will an artificial boy do for triumph of
| modern seience?'-Texas Slttings.
A certain editor of weekly newspaper
| made practice of stopping the press to an
| nounce," if he had nothing more important
to announce than dog fight. One week
everything was as dull as patent Office re-
port, but the ruling passion cropped out as
follows: "We stop the press to announce
that nothing has occurred since we went to
press of sufficient interest to induce us to
stop the press to announce it."-Texas Sift-
iugs.
Irregular Business Methods.-Uncle Ras-
tus Ito grocer)-"Mister Smif tole ter
o. terbackah, an yo' is to charge 'em. ter
him." Grocer (dubiously)-'T don't know
about that, Uncle Rastus Was it verbal
order that he gave you" Uncle Rastus-
s'No, sab; he jes tole me ter git 'em. Yo'
hain't 'fraid to trus' gemmen like Mister
Smif, is yos"-Harper's Bazaar.
German Bulls.-The Irish have not got
monopoly for the manufacture of bulls.
The German papers abound N them. Here
are few specimen bricks: CATER the door
| was closed soft female footstep slipped in
| to the room, and with her own hand extin-
guished the taper" "Both doctors were un-
able to restore the deceased once more to life
| and health ga man living at Freuden-
stadt tried to shoot his wife, but missed her,
| for which offence he was promptly locked
up" "The Ladies' Benevolent Association
has distributed twenty pair of shoes, which
will dry up many tears" II was sitting at
the table enjoying cup of coffee when a
gentle voice tapped me on the shoulder. I
| looked around and saw my old friend. '-Texaa
1 SiftiDOs