davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20
The ASS. FLIGHT.

An ASS, with noble ardor fred
For cen an ass may be inspiredh
Standing in classic pose alOof
Upon his native stables roof,
With bray of loud triumphant sound
Summoned the gaping barnyard round.
Dear friends" the Ass began. IT call
You here together, one and all,
70 view with strict, impartial eye
My earliest attempt to fly.
1 know that when evolvent grace
Produced, IN time, the ASS race,
nature so boon In other things.
by some strange chance omitted wings.
know the smallest birds that fly
RAY pierce with ease the azure sky,
Wnle We are destined from our birth
10 walk the dull, prosaIc cart.
is theirs the praisef not so, trust;
They DO but fly because they must:
Nor can they know-lght, careless things
The grandeur that from Effort springs.
How great is Effort! BY its aid
This universal frame was made:
BY Effort Nature brought to pass
Her last and noblest work, the ASS;
by Effort, too, as / opine,
The sun at morn begins to shine.
since Effort then so much can do,
mean to try its power, too.
But first, before | take my flight
From off this ridge poles dizzy height,
Perchance some one of you NAV ask
How to perform this glorious task.
First, then, you earnestly desire;
Second, you Crdently asplrs:
Thirdly, with all your heart you yearn;
Fourth, in your inmost soul you burn;
Filthy, your utmost strength you try;
And sixth, and last of all. you M!
Thus must he do who follow me:
Sic iturdd ustrd! One-Two-Threep'
Enthusiasm the most intense
Followed this burst of eloquence.
The cows and pigs were melted quite;
The oxen lowed in loud delight;
The geese and chickens. much impressed,
Gabbled and cackied with the rest;
The ducks, the turkeys, did the same.
Henceforth, It's said, the Ass went lamel
Robertson TroWbrid0e. in Century.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20
PLAYING SALOON.
Why Pittsburgh Man Went Out of the
Saloon Business,

Saloon Business.
81 hear that Smith has sold out hi
saloop," said one of couple of mid.
dle-aged men who sat slipping theil
beer and eating a bit of cheese in 6
Smithield-street saloon last Friday
night
YES" responded the other, rather
slowly.
"EShat was the cause? Thought he
was just coming money there.
The other nibbled cracker alb
Stractedly for a moment, and then
said: ''It's rather funny story. Smith,
YOU know, lives on Mount Washing
ton, right near me, where he has an
excellent wife, a nice home and three
as pretty children as ever played out
doors. All boys, you know, the oldest
not over nine, and all about the same
size. Smith is a pretty respectable
sort of a citizen, never drinks nor gam
bles. and thinks the world of his FAM
lily.
s.Well, he went home one afternoon
asst week, and found his wife out
shopping or something of that sort.
de went on through the house into
The back yard, and there, under an APP
ole tree, were the little fellows play
ng. They had bench and some bot
lies and tumblers, and were playing
keep saloon. He noticed that they
were drinking something out of pail,
md that they acted tipsy. The young
,st, who was behind the bar, had a
owel tied around his waist, and was
setting the drinks up pretty free.
Smith walked over and looked in the
pail. 1t was beer, and two of the boys
we're so drunk that they staggered. A
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20
A Few Trifling Objections.

Author-So you can't accept my
story?
Editor-Well, no. There are num-
Der of faults with it that would have to
be corrected first.
Author--Perhaps you would be will
ing to state some of your objections to
it SO that / might make corrections.
Editor-Well, then, there is no plot
to your story. You must put in a good
plot. Then the descriptions are tame;
you must put little vigor and life into
your descriptions. Your conversations
are also unnatural; that would have to
be corrected. And / forgot to state
that the grammatical construction of
some of your sentences differs with
most rules of language. That is a
fault that we can hardly look over. If
you will make these few trifing cor
rectlons I think we can accept your
manuscript. Detroit Free Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

Z
neighbor,s boy, a couple of years old
er. lay asleep behind the tree.
!" My God, boys. you must noe
drink that, he said, as he lifted the
siy-year-old from behind the bench.
ives playin' s'loon, papa, an I
was sellin' It just like you. said the
little fellow. Smith poured out the
beer, carried the drunken boy home,
and then took his own boys in and put
them to bed. When his wife came
back she found him crying like child.
He came back down town that night
and sold out his business, and says he
will never sell or drink another drop
of liquor His wife told mine about it,
and she broke down crying while she
told it."
This is true story. but the name
was not Smith. PittSbarqh Dispatch.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

"A wedding between two brothers
and two sisters occurred one day re-
Gently in Lincoln County, Ga.
The publication of work in a
cheap form lessons but little, say the
publishers, the sales of a better edition.
- Chicago Herald.
"A Western woman, Mrs. McLane,
is the largest mai!-route contractor in
this country. She has enc hundred
routes on the Pacific coast.
Miss Genevieve Green is the only
local reporter of the Colusa (CaI. Sun.
The woman is described as sharp and
fearless. and mot afraid to go any
where.
Henry Golden, who calls himself
Texas Harry, and claims to be the half
breed son of White Cloud, an Indian
chief, has joined the Methodist Church
in Richmond, Va, and is drawing
large audiences as "a reyivalist. N 7.
Sun.
Some one is contemplating starting
paper at Somerville, Ore, which
leads the Oregoaiaas to remark that
.'Somerville is a town with about four
hundred inhabitants, and no more
needs newspaper than toad needs a
pocket-book.
Mr.. Francis Claiming, who has
been elected to Parliament in East
Northamptonshire, Eng, is a Boston
boy, being the son of the late Rev.
William II. Claiming, of Brook Farm
memory, and brother-in-law of Ed
win Arnold, the poet-editor. Boston
Journal.
Miss Mary Ellen Ferguson, former
ly editor of the american Queen, pub
lished in New York, died recently at
Jacksonville, Fla. She had achieved
considerable reputation in literary cir
Giles and was the author of many poems,
chiefly translations from Heine. Her
declining health was due to overwork.
Harry Childress, of Greenville,
Tex, is in receipt of handsome medal
from the English War Department in
recognition of services in the Soudan
campaign of 1884 and 1885. The young
man is a native of Texas, but was in
Canada when that country sent out
volunteers. He Joined them and gained
honorable mention on the hard-fought
battlefield Of Kirbukat.
Mr.. Croffut writes in the Washing
ton Post: Il have letter from Martin
Farquhar Upper, the proverbial phi
losopher, who has been i'll in England
and is very poor. He has some of the
sensitiveness of the poet yet left, and
does not desire to solicit funds, but he
says his friends at home are coming
gallantly to the rescue, and if Ameri-
ca, where / have had the greatest num-
Der of readers, would ETC., etc. DR..
Topper is seyenty-six years old this
summer. He hopes to make some
thing out of his autobiography, just
There gathered around the dinner
table at the residence of Mr.. H. L.
Perry, in GAINESVILLE, o., few days ago
five generations of females in direct
line. Mrs. Sarah Moore, of Mansfield,
o., aged eighty-four, sat at the head
of the table. Her daughter, Mrs. Mary
Owings, aged fifty-six, sat next to her.
Then came Mrs. Belle Perry, aged
thirty-six, daughter of Mrs. Owings.
Then Mrs. Nellie Logan, aged nine
teen, daughter of Mrs. Perry. Then
Edna Logan, daughter of Mrs. Logan,
aged eighteen months. Cleveland
Leader
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20
HUMOROUS.

-Fogg-"What are you doing now?"
Boggs -l.'I am now on the boards"
Fogg- What? Acting?' Boggs-
"No, driving lumber wagon. liam
bier.
An exchange sets out to prove that
it is hard to die. Well, as it is just
about as hard to live we must be hav-
ing hard time of it all round. -Philo-
dclphia Call.
"Mr. Fitzpercy has a great deal of
sangfroid about him." remarked Mrs.
De Wigs. "Well now," replied Mrs.
Snags, Il didn't know he ever sang at
all. "-1sd- Bits.
A Southern newspaper gives an
account of man who tried to hang
himself with towel and came down
with crash. Such levity is ill-timed.
Chicago Ledger.
-" Bees unquestionably possess the
power of memory" says a scientific
writer. So does the man on whose
neck the bees happen to hold caucus.
-NesO HaUefa Nea0s.
"A man breathes twenty times a
minute, except when he is about to put
the important question to his best girl.
Then he breathes twenty times a sec
ond.- N Y. Telegram.
Then you have never had any edu-
cational advantages" Boy scratches
his head and says: "No, nom; not
that | knows of. But I've had airysip-
las. Ii what you said is worse nor that
/ don't want ter ketch If ,,
-Schulze-"And how do you like
the parrot I sent your" Mullet-.It
was a bit tough.n S.-'.What, have
you eaten it then? Why, the creature
could talk" M.-s'Well, why didn't
it say so, ?"-Frona the German.
"A little girl went timidly into shop
and asked the shopman how many
shoe strings she could get for penny.
How long do you want then?" he
asked. Il want them to keep was
the answer in tone of slight surprise.
Philadelphia Call.
Somebody says that the odor of
fresh paint may be removed from a
room by placing a saucer of ground
coffee in the apartment. Now we I'M
derstand why it is a man generally
chews ground coffee when he is paint
ing the town red.-Rocklaad (Me.l
Courier.
Keeper of the Employment Office
I'm afraid the trouble is with You,
Mrs. Prim. You've tried German,
Irish and" Housekeeper-ssYes bu'
they're no good. My neighbor has an
excellent girl. She's Swedenborgian.
Send me one from Swedenborgia -
Chicago Journal.
Sir" said the trembling young
man to the girls father, Il love your
daughter and she loves me, and have
come to ask you for her. I am sober
and industrious but poor VIII YOU
give ASSENT" s'Not burned cent"
growled the old man, and the poor
lover was carried away in commissions.
Puck.
IL want" he said, as he helped
himself to light lunch of cheese, "a
quart of Medford rum for bathing pur-
poses, half pound of sugar and four
lemons" ''You know whatI told you,
Mr.. Slugg,' said the grocer. II recall
the insult perfectly, Mr.. Soper, but
this time want to pay cash. He got
the goods and was walking toward the
door with them when the grocer said:
Here you, Slugg, | thought. you
wanted to pay cash2" so I do, . re-
Joined the other, s'but, unfortunately, I
can t. Puck.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20
SKlLLFUL FEEDING.
A Science Whose Acq uirement Pays Bet
ter Than Selling Hay.

A Gcience Whose Requirement Pays Bet
ter Than Selling Hay.
The best way to dispose of the crops
is to first pass every thing through the
bodies of the animals. That which is
arrested and digested is converted into
beef, milk, pork, mutton, wool, poul
try and eggs, while that left over is
added to the manure heap for service
another time. The articles produced
on the farm, from the crops, are really
manufactured, which enables the
farmer to derive not only the equiya-
lent of the crops, but also that which
would be carried off the farm, as the
difference in price is greater than the
cost of fertilizers necessary to balance
the loss of elements from the soil.
This is far more profitable mode than
selling the crops directly from the
farm. If pers ms in the large cities,
or Eastern formers, can afford to buy
hay from the West, for feeding pur-
poses, there is nothing to prevent the
Western farmers from feeding the hay
to their own stock. Selling hay is one
of the most ruinous practices that can
be engaged in. The farmer should
feed his hay TO stock, and feed liberal
~, not by trying to save portion of
the food, but by forcing the young
stock in growth and inducing the
adults to be as productive as possible.
If he grows wool he should endeavor
to get as large fleece from each sheep
as possible, while the cow should be
made to yield two quarts of milk in
stead of one whenever it can be done.
In feeding the crops to stock you store
up the future food for the land, and by
converting the products of the farm
into materials that bring higher price
there is not only a difference in profit
but a saving of the labor, it being
much easier to ship in q concentrated
form than in bulk. Skillful feeding is
the science of farming, and the farmer
can not make himself too familiar
herewith. Field and Stock
man.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

THE saloon is bad, and only bad.
There is no aspect in which it can
be considered as beneficial, either
to morals or religion, TO the State or
to individuals, to industry or COM
merce. As market for our grain and
grapes it is a waste; as an employer it
makes labor unproductive; as public
business it pauperizes the many for the
sake of the constituencies few; as
source of taxation it pays the State
hardly tenth of its cost. What is it
good for? Toinstruct in vice, to harden
in crime, to reduce TO poverty, to par
alyze Drawn and brain, to wreck homes
and to betray every interest dear TO an
intelligent and prosperous people,
Christian Evangelist.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

An energetic Canadian hen recent
~ produced an egg attached to which
was tail about an inch in length, re-
sembling a snake. The covering OF
the tail was she'll, but somewhat
stronger than that of the egg itself.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

The peanut crop of 1886 is esti-
mated to be worth S3.000,000. Of this
Virginia is expected to produce $780,
900 bushels, Tennessee 10000 North
Carolina 10000, South Carolina the
same, and Alabama 100000.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

Always set your hens in the even
ing rather than by daylight. They
will be more sure to stick to the nest.
~ Ci1cinqati Times,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

IT is said Massachusetts, manufact-
urer who employs seven hundred men
in small town recently presented
each man with a new ten dollar bill
which he had secretly marked for iden-
titication. The second day afterward
four hundred and ten of these bills had
been deposited in banks by saloon
keepers, and in consequence the work.
men are said to have organized a Tenn.
perance society. The moral is oh.
Ylous.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-20

heard on this drowsy summers day,
like the hum of a beehive; interrupted
now and then by the authoritative
voice of the master, in tone of com
mand. The mysterious school-master
was as firm as a military officer and
never spoiled the child by sparing the
rod. He was not one of those cruel
pedagogues who delight in the infiic-
ton of punishment. The weak falter-
ing urchin who shrank under the birch
he passed by, to lay it with double
force upon the incorrigible and unpen-
itent. 1t was noticeable fact that for
day or two after his visits to Mocks-
vile or one of the other towns where
the school-master imbibed too much
brandy, he was more irritable than
usual. Usually he laid aside the Dig
nifty of q school-master at recess and,
notwithstanding his silvered locks,
Joined the boys on the play ground,
making one of their number. But
being more morose than usual he sat
alone at his desk when the hour of
noon came, and burying his face in his
hands, refused to move during the en-
tire hour given to recreation. When
the time came to resume school duties
the master seemed to brighten UP,
and rang the bell bringing in the
boys and ranging them in seats. But
a few moments later he sank back in
his chair and buried his face in his
hands as if he were in confusion and
doubt, or had sunk into an apathetic
state. Suddenly he started, assumed
a military position. much to the aston
ishment of his pupils, and saluting,
shouted:
"Fice Ia repubEique! Tiue rE,a-
pereur"
A moment later he stood proud and
commanding as if he were at the head
of division and the Emperor was in
front of him, and then as the shadowy
visions his memory and Imagination
bad coniured up faded away, leaving
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-09-28
OF THE SECTIONS.

|. Sections Of the League shall be formed
aud organized 10y adopting such rules and reg
ulations ~ may he framed and adopted by the
Executive Council Of the League.
=. They shall elect annually at the last meet.
Ing In the month of July, one President, one
Vice Presidents, Secretary, Treasurer, aud
Sergcant-at-Arms and three mcmbears of the
Executive Council said members of the ES-
ecutiVc Council 10 act In conjunction with "A
like number elected by each Section of I've
League. and AT the same time act Ms n Board
OF Directors for their respective Sections
Said Board of Directors shall he under the
immediate control of the executive Council and
shall form the proper channel of communion
ton between the Executive Council and their
respective Sections.
.. The business of all Sections as well as that
of the League. shall be governed by parIa
mentary rules aud usagcs as laid down In
Cushman's Manual. and such rules aud regyua
tions rs may be- provided for by the Executive
Council.
T. Sections may adopt such bylaws rs they
deem proper; provided they shall not conflict
with this Constitution.
o. Any person or persons may become mem
beers at this League by tw0-thirds vote of
the Section.
o. when member is rejected by a Section,
notify the secretary Of all other Sections.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-09-28
OF THE ELECTIONS.

|. Three months prior to AN election for
State, County or City officers, or soon there
after as practicable, the President of the
Executive Council shall issue a call for gen
eral meeting of the Council. The Council
shall at this meeting decide what action to
take at such election aud submit their views
to the different Sections. Should the Council
decide to go into an election they shall inform
each Section, through their delegates, or
otherwise, of such action, and that u conven-
ton will he held at such place rs may be
named by the Council, fixing the day aud date.
for the purpose of nominating candidates for
Office. Each Section shall thereupon elect
delegates TO represent them at such conven-
ton the basis of representation to be fixed by
the Executive Council.
2. The convention shall be called to order by
the president of the Executive Council, who
shall explain the object of the convention, and
submit to said convention for their endorse
ment, the action, II any, that may have been
taken by the Executive Council, whereupon
the election of Il chairman and Secretary shall
be in order. The chairman may appoint such
other officers rs may be required. NOmlna-
tons for candidates shall then be in order.
B. The President of the Executive Council
shall submit a list of names to the Chairman
of the convention, from which list the conven-
ton may select their choice. In case the con-
vention cannot agree upon names on the list,
nomination may be made by any member of
the convention ;provided the names on the list
shall have been exhausted.
4. A member of the League who may as
pire for Office, before submitting his name TO
the convention for a nomination, must pledge
himself in writing that upon the failure Of Sc
curing the nomination for the office for which
he aspires he will not become a candidate at the
proposed election; provided this clause shall
not refer to State or National Offices.
8. 1t shall require twothirds vote TO
nominate.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-09-28
REPORT

OF Joint Committee on Organization.
To the President and Members of the Tempo
rary Political Organization:
GEETLENEN-YOur Joint COMMITTEE to devise
ways aud means for the permanent OrganiLa-
ton Of political clubs among the lsbOring peO-
Pile of BeIaT county, have performed the
labors assigned to them, and respectfully re-
commend the consideration and adoption of
| the following basis of organization:
|. That permanent organization he effect.
| ell by all labor and protective bodies in BeXaT
county. and other later bodies, with the cleo
ton of President, Vice president, Secretary
and Treasurer
3. That the combined organizations shall he
known rs '"rhe Bexar County Industrial
League" aud each separate body shall he desig-
mated by Scctions-Viz: Section No !, B. c.
I. L.; Section No. =, etc.
I. That each Section shall elect three dele
gates, who. Jointly, shall be known rs the
Executive Council, u. e. !. l.
3. That each Section shall be subordinate
to and hold itself in strict obedience to the
said Executive Council.
q. The duties of the Executive Council shall
be:
| IA. They shall elect from among their num-
ber II President, First and Second Vice Prcsi
dent. Secretary and a Treasurer They shall
also eject such committees they deem
proper.
b. They shall meet as often "a practicable
and shall have fun control of all political cam.
| paigns.
C. They shall frame such laws for the gov.
ernment of their Section rs will harmonic
| and further the interests of the labOrlng ele-
| ment of Bexar County.
:. They shall make provisions for their Sec
tons to elect delegates to II nominating con.
| ventiOn and the framing of such platform as
| will do credit to the industrial masses Of the
county as well as for their protection.
| :. That no member shall be eligible to the
who has expressed his intention to become a
candidate for Office pending an election.
We also herewith submit for your consider.
alton the accompanying copy of the constitu-
ton. Faithfully submitted,
| THEODORE KAUFMAN,
| ROBERT SCHUETZE,
| HENRY b. SALLIwAY,
W. =. LINTHICUM.
| MANUEL LOPEZ,
| N. G. WILLIAMS.
5. W. MCALLIsTER,
| 5. A. WABRES,
| JUAN MORALES.
" II. MITCHELL,
II. C. GAFFoRD,
| ALVIN SEIDEL,l
| FRANCIS ROPER,
JAMES MARTIN, in.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-09-28
OF THE EXECUTIVE COUNCIL.

1 III, Ey,cuti,,., r,,,n,,iI sbau h.. ~,
or such ,p,u,,crs ss mas, Ia, oI,o,., h, ,b,
sections. each Section clccting three members.
m
'''' mss VI =, '''' ""u ''0o,''
, ~
" gu" ''' ~ '"'
'' NV '''1 ~ "'' ~ ~" '"' 's "'
Nc. u"' W w '"' ''A
w ''''''N'' '''''" ny wv "''''''
49,, i"' nN'ou'Ne Iou"oi' s'n'. 'l'"Ae Suc'i
avs '"''9 anu i's "'"''""' 'o' '"o s''''"
. W w w "''' y, ~
'' '"us ' WV ','1A "DU"' " ~.
''' ~ - Wv "
~ 80 "''''
, =! ,. 80 -" =
'
,rD' - "s " ~ IS ~,
scctious wberever nr.c,icshIa and admit ar
reject sucb orgsnizad hod,.s ma sectIons nc
may snnIv for admission ir,o tho I.syue
They shall also have power to call together in
mass meeting all Sections, order all cOnven-
tons, public demonstrations, etc.
4 The meetings of the Executive Council
shall be subject to the call of the President.
The Council may also he called together by
any three Sections through their delegates.
ARTICLE II.
|. ANY delegate TO the Executive Council
failing TO attend to three consecutive regular
meetings, or perform such duties as may he
assigned I" hih' OF Tor the ehtrinHemeht oil
any Ia" E"NcIhI"E TUE he"s u' sum Oc sus-
p'h"o'' ana MS section l'niled.atey h"tlhee