davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

The editor wasn't very busy when the
poet came in with his manuscript, and
when he handed it to him he took it po-
litely and began to open it.
"Poem2" he asked
eyes, sir" replied the poet
"Want NE to read it?"
81 should be pleased to have you,
SIR"
The editor unrolled it, and after half
an hours labor handed it back to the
author.
"Ain't worth a continental, he said,
CURLY.
"Ah, sir, you may think so, but yours
is the opinion of only one man. 1t
will be appreciated in the end, sir, and
shall calmly await the verdict of pos
terity."
He sat down on the coal box COM
posedly, as one who knows that his flu
ture would be provided for.
"You think you'll wait, do your asked
the editor.
Eyes, sir"
'All right, but if Iwere you l wouldn't
wait on the edge of that box. You'd bet
ter go across the street to that new hotel
and get board by the month, | really
haven't any objections to your waiting
here, but you see, they're going to tear
this building down next spring, and it
might make it inconven ent for posterity
to find your address"
The poet saw.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

Among the many stories Lincoln uos1 70
relate was the following: Trudginy along a
lonely road one morning on my way t. thJ
county seat, Judge oglrUCo. me with his
wagon and invited me 10 a seat.
We had not gone far before the wagon be.
gan 10 wobble. Said /, "Judge, think your
coachman has taken a drop too much.
Putting his head out of the window, the
judge shouted: "Why, yon Internal scoun-
drel, you are drunk
Turning around with great gravity, the
coachman said: "Be dad! but that the frs
rightful session your Honor's giv'n N twep
MONTH
IfpeOple knew the facts they would be sur
prised to learn how many people reel in the
streets who never drink Drop They are
the victims Of sleepleSSness, Of drowsy DAYS,
of apoplectic tendencies, whose blood is set
on fire by uric acid. Some day they will reel
no more--they will drop dead, Just because
they haven't the moral courage to defy use
less professional attendance and by uss of
the wonderful Warmers safe cure neutralize
the uric acid in the system and thus get rid
of the drunkenness in the blood. h-Ihe
american Rural Home.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

during the seven months; they get each
ous of these farmers to join our associa.
,icn, taking stock to the extent of his
wheat crop, whatever it may be; every
lalner agrees under penalty not to sell
bushel of wheat until the price touchei
81 at Chicago, and to give the sssocia.
ton all he gets over 50 bushel; these
$500, 0G0 farmers will grow four-fifths
ot the wheat crop of the country, and
thus We'll have the 1885 crop in our
pool; there II be no wheat offered in the
market, and none to be had for love,
food or money; the price will go sailing
up to about S. bushel in less than ten
days after threshing begins; the world
must have wheat, and wen have a cor
ner On about all the wheat in America.
Wen make such regulations as to the
quantities to be sold that we can keep
the price at about So all fall and winter.
Mi lions in it2 Why, millions are no
name for it. The farmers will fall over
each other in their haste to get into our
association. Wen be the absolute mas
tiers of the grain market, and if the crop
is 500 co., 900 bushels we'll make about
$500, coo, 900. Our expenses will be
only two millions. And that amt all.
Wen sell railroad stocks short, because
if the roads can't get any wheat to carry
they'll have to pass their dividends, and
down will go their shares five points at
jump"
"Great scheme"
"Great schemel Why, man, in two
years I'll be able to buy Chicago. I'll
build palace the walls of which shall
he $50 gold pieces. But sayW
WHAT
Lend me half dollar till after | get
my company started, will YOUR Chicaga
Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
Too Risky.

'Rello, Jones, l thought you were
going hunting this week"
"Well, so l intended, Smith. But !
have abandoned the idea. There was
too much risk. :"
"PJhaw! man! what risk was thereG"
II suppose you know that l have re-
Gently been married2"
Eyes
"And you also know that young
Blithers wasa sutton for the hand of
my wife before we were married9"
$50 have heard"
"Well, there is only one life chat pre-
vents my wife from becoming Mrs.
Blithers. tell you this is a critical
time, Smith, and man can't be too
careful. ~ Chicago Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

A curious fact is that although tho
lynching of Henry Mason, colored,
recently for the murder of Mr.. Ham.
mersley is the first occurrence of tho
kind in Campbell county, the very name
of "lynch law' was derived from native
of that county, old Colonel Lynch who
was in the habit Of administering sum.
mary punishment t. marauders and mis-
creants of every description without pay
ing any attention to the ordinary pro-
cesses of law. Hence he was called
"Judge Lynch" and this, it is said, IL
the true origin Of the terms Iynching'
and "iynch law. "-LynchJurg VA NeaOs.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
The National Complaint,

Dyspepsia is the national complaint AL
most every other man or woman you meet has
it, and the result is that the number of pseudo
remedies for it is as numerous as Pharaoh's
host. They are for the most part worthless
There is. however, a searching eradicant of this
distressing and obdurate malady, one whose
genuine merits long since raised it to fore
most place among the staple medicines of
America HOstetter's Stomach Bitters extir-
pates dyspepsia with greater certainty and
promptitude than any known remedy, and is
most genial invigorant, appetizer and aid to
secretion. These are not empty assertions. as
thousands of our countrymen and women who
have experienced its effects are aware, but are
backed up by irrefragable proofs repeatedly
laid before the public. The Bitters also pro-
mote regular habit of body and give health
full stimulus to the urinary organs.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
Black Hons Eggs,

1.-TWO dozen black hens eggs" said an
old woman, addressing grocer.
''Black hens eggs" exclaimed he ;
II don't know black hens eggs from
any other colored chickens.
'Well, then, do" said the woman.
"Then go and pick them out yourself, "
ne replied, pointing to large basket of
eggs
The woman did so, and picked out
two dozen of the largest eggs in the
basket.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
An Old Test for Leather.

For testing the guanty of leather for
betting, Mr.. Either proposes the follow
ing simple method A small piece is cut
out out of the belt and placed in vine
gar. If the leather has been perfectly
tanned, and is therefore of good quality,
it will remain immersed in the vinegar,
even for several months, without any
other change than becoming of little
darker color. If, on the contrary, it is
not well impregnaed with taunin the
fibers will promptly swell, and, after a
short time, become converted into a
gelatinous mass. - Chicago Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
All ON Earth.

Wife Creading)-'T see there's new
religious sect in Canada founded on the
belief that women have no souls"
Husband with iuterest) are
they called~
Wife-"Tho paper doesn't say-idiots,
probably"
Husband (argumentativelyl--"Now,
don't DC too rash; there's no mention of
any female angels being up in heaven. y
Wife-(with a smilel-"That's be
cause they're all on earth, dear. "-BoS-
ton G lobe
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
"Safd Aaron To Mnsna

Let's cut off our noses"
aaron must have been a sufferer from ca
LGdfrh The desperation which catarrh pro-
9duces Is often sufficient to make people say and
Go many rash things and many continue suf-
!erlhg Just as if no such cure as DR.. Sage's Ca
from the simplest 10 the most complicated and
al Ihe consequences of catarrh A person
once cured by Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy will
not be apt to take cold again, as it leaves the
mucous membranes healthy and strong, BY
druggists ~
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

DR.. w. d. Wright, Cincinnati o., sends the sub
Joined professional endorsement 81 have prescribed
DIR. VIM. HALLS BALSAM FOR THE LUNGS
in great number of and always with success.
One case in particular given up by several ply
siclans who had been called in for consultation with
myself. The patient had all the symptoms of con
hrmed Consumption-cold night sweats hectic fever,
harrassing coughs, etc He commenced Immediately
to get better and was soon restored to his usual
health. / found DIR. WIN. HALLS BALSAM FOR
THE LUNGS the most valuable eNpectorant for
breaking up distressing coughs aud colds.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
No opiates or poison.
Only twenty-five cents.
Red Star Cough Cure.

That the Duke of Cumberland is in
something more than easy circum-
stances may be gathered from the fact
that the gold and silver plate which
he has inherited from the late King of
Hanover and the Duke of Brunswick
weighs upwards of eight tons.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
A marty who discovered an oIum cav,

A party who discovered an alum cave
in Elks county, Nevada, explored the
opening with candles for distance of
fifteen or twenty feet, when they came
to chamber of considerable size, but of
irregular shape, the top, sides and floor
of which constituted a solid mass of
crystalyzed alum. The rays from the
candles reflected from the pendant stall
actitea, gave it the appearance OF fairy
grotto.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
HUMOROUS SKETCHES.
Black Hens Eggs.

1.-Two dozen black hens eggs, said an
o d woman, addressing grocer.
''Black hens eggs!" exclaimed he
81 don't know black hens eggs from
any other colored chickens"
"Well, then. do said the woman.
Then 60 and pick them out yourself, "
he replied, pointing to large basket Of
eggs.
The woman did so, and picked out
two dozen of the largest eggs in the
baskei.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
81 Don't Know What AiIs m..,,

says many sufferer. II have the blues
frightfully; ! am troubled with headache and
dizziness; | have lost my appetite; there is a
bad taste in my mouth constantly. What is
the matter with mcY' We will tell you; you
are bilious" Get a bottle of DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" use it faithfully,
and you will soon be a new man again. All
DRUGGISTS have il
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
A Great Writer.

''Now, speaking of literature" said
Captain Pullby, addressing his friend
Colonel Bigby, 1.-THE man standing on
most widely read writer's in the coun-
try"
"Yon don't say So" the colonel re-
piled, putting on his glasses, and cycling
the man with interest, "Why, he does
not look Ike literary man. 1t is rare
that literary men wear diamonds but l
see this man is bedecked with them."
"Oh, yes, for he can afford it. His
income is very large, and l can tell you
what's fact, his works are read in every
town in the country"
81 would like TO have an introduction
10 him." said the colonel, who takes
great interest in literature, having writ
ten an article entitled "The Time to Or
ganize," and signed ''Many Voters"
"He would no doubt be pleased to
pleased to meet you," the captain re-
piled, "for l found him to be remarkably
social"
"What magazine does he write for2"
"Bless you, he would not write for u
MAGAZINE. He could not bear to be held
down by the conventionality of maya
zine. He must be free as a bird when
he writes"
II am more tina ever interested Is
he humorous writerm
"No, but he is great sensationalist. :"
"You don't tell me2"
"Ycs, and strange to say, his writings
mainly treat OF natural history"
"Well, then, don't see how he can
De sensational
Easy enough, by dear colonel. He
writes circus bills. "--ArhGaSaO ITaceley.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

A new industry has sprung up at New Or
leans. Heads Of large fish are dried, mounted
and sold for table and mantel ornaments
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

prices. 81 to 81 Washington st., cor. Of Elm.
Don't say there is no help for Catarrl, Hay
Fever and Cold in the Head, since thousands
testify that Ely's Cream Balm has entirely
cured them. 1t supersedes the dangerous use
OF liquids and snufis. 1t is easily applied with
the finger and gives relief at once. Price 81
cents at Druggists 60 cents by mail. Send
for circular. Ely Bros, Owego, N. Y.
hnye had catarh in head and nostrils fol
ten years so bad that there were great sores in
my nose, and one place was eaten through. !
got Elys Cream Balm. Two bottles did the
work but am still using it. My nose and head
is well. l feel like another man.-Chas. S.
McMillen, Slbley, Jackson Co., Mo.
Ely Bros, l have been afflicted with catar1h
purchased bottle of your Cream Balm. 1t
has effected a complete cure.-H. G. Abbott,
81 Grant Ave, Allegheny City, Pa.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

1t cures Female complaints and by
its use monthly sickness is rendered
painless.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
RELIABLE WORDS.
"He who lives after nature shall never be poor.r


Rev. Charles Pike of Waterbury, Conn, says
contracted a weakness of the Kidneys which
was made worse by drinking water in the different
places where resided. ! suffered severely. pur.
chased bottle Of HUNTS kidney and Liver REM.
EDY, with the guarantee that it would help me, az
II afterWard did y
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

It is purely vegetable, and meets
want never before furnished to the
public, and the utmost reliance may
be placed i'll it.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

A larger ratio of people born in Vermont
have emigrated than from any other State in
the Union.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
RY the nse Of HUNTS

will regain their strength, and the
blood will be perfectly purified.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

Msery--a girl with a new dress and nc
place to 90 to-.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

So unlike all others, after using the Hop
Porous Plaster you will have no other kind.
They possess real merit and never fail. Only
rs cts.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
krRZer Axle lsrense.

One trial will convince you that it is the
best Ask your dealer tor it and take no
other. Every box has our trade mark on.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

No Eggs No Trouble Delicious Peckham's
Frostine, or Prepared Cake Icing. All Grocers.
The best Ankle Boot and Collar Pads are
made of zinc and leather. Try Them.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

You will get more comfort for % centsNin
Lyons Heel Stieffners than in any other arti-
Gle you buy.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

For RATES for advertising in this paper, apply tn
Publisher. Il Fiity-tyyO
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
Tho Doctors Enforcement

Bronchitis is cured by frequent small doses
of Piso's Cure for Consumption.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
A Scheme.


"This Phil Armour may be a very
smart man." said the long haired pas
senger from Wisconsin, "but | have a
scheme which will make million dol
lars while he's making a cent-a million
to his cent say"
"What, you"
eyes, me. Pm the very man that's
got the scheme. Got it right here in
my head too. And if you'll promise
not to give it away I'll tell you what it
is. You promises All right. We'll, to
begin with, wheat is great staple,
amt it2 The wheat crop of the North
west regulates the price in the world &C.
cording to its quantity, doesn't it2 AS
soon as farmers get their crops harvested
they thresh it out aud take it to market
and sell it, don't they9 The wheat comes
in as fast as it is needed and can be
shipped, and so the price is regulated,
not by what is Offered, but by tho auan.
tity raised, amt it. Now, sea here.
Suppose | get up company; We incor-
porate under the laws of several Stares
we send out 900 agents, who travel
all over the Northwest during the first
seven months of 1885; they each see ten
farmers day, or 10000 altogether or
10000 week. or say 800, 900 farmers
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

=, Use the surest remedy for catarrh. DR..
Sage's.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
"ln an orderly house, all is soon ready"
A Grateful Lady.

-, \ u NLeIuI lady.
This is to certify that have used HUNTS kid
hey and Liver REMEDY for the kidneys and other
troubles with very satisfactory results, and would
recommend the same to those afflicted as | was
Gratefully, Mrs. D. F. Peck, Ansonia, Conn.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

Furniture buyers visiting Boston will find
that Keller & Co.'s warerooms are filled with
all the newest styles of artistic goods at lowest
prices. 81 to 81 Washington ST., cor of Elm
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
LADIES e!
PROMPT And RELIABLE.
Endorsed by Physicians

It quickly in 1uces
the Live r to healthy
action, removing the
causes that produce
Bilious Headache, Dys'
pepsia, Piles, SC.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01

MExsMAs's PzProNHED BEEF TONIC the only
Preparation Object containinglts entire nitTt-
fi01is properties II contains blOod-mAkinE
force generating aud DEMONSTRATING properties
invaluable for Indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous
prostration, and all forms OF general aeDlh.yi
also. IN ali enfeebled conditions, whether the
result Of exhaustion. nervous prostration, over
work or acute disease, particularly Il resulting
from pulmonary complaints. CasweN, Hazard d
Co., Proprietors New York Soldby druggisss-
II afflicted with Sore Eyes use Or. Isaac
Etsa Aafap nrueroizts sell IL.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-01-01
cont Of debt. ONT of danger. y
NIY MirP,s NInfher

MY W I -t7S NJ 1ther.
Mr.. Charles w. Morris, Eagle Office, PittsfeId,
Mass, writes: MY wife's mother had been in a
very precarous condition with dropsy or Brghts
disease OF the kidneys. HUNTS kidney and Liyerl
REMEDY has worked miracle in her."
Price $l.25. SeDd for Illustrated Pamphlet to
HUNTS ,-BsMEDY co.. Providence. R. I.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1886-11-19

about o'clock at f. b. & A. G. Writings
Tampco factory. Some of the workmen
had made too hot u fire in the stove, and
the heater in the room above became so
hot as to set fire to some waste near by.
The fire was quickly discovered and the
hose belonging to the firm was immedi-
atcly turned ON the flames which had
communicated to the woodwork. No
general alarm was rung in but the Barnes
hose cart was sent for, and the fire
quickly extinguished. The damages will
amount to but a few dollars and are GOV
cred by insurance.
Our clubbing combination with the
Rurdl NclU. Yorkcr will be found in our
advertising columns. The Rurdl is en-
titled to the support of every progressive
farmer. 1t is the only journal which con
ducts an experimental farm in the interests
of its subscribers. All sorts of grains,
roots, tubers, small fruits, trees and
shrubs are there tested, and reports of
their merits or dement's are printed with
out fear or favor. Thus the reader may
judge without cost and trouble what
varieties to select among the high-priced
novelties which are every year announced
IN the catalogues of Seedsmen and nurse
rymen. The Editor began crossing the
best of the known wheats 10 years ago,
and four years ago hybrid between
wheat and rye was announced which has
ELECTED great deal of talk both here and
in Europe. Some 80 different kinds of
grain have thus been produced which
when fixed will be distributed among its
subscribers Its Free Seed Distributions
have popularized some of the best kinds
of plants and seeds now in cultivation.
The Rltrul NelU- YORKER goes to every
inhabited lection of North America, and
its subscribers are the leading men in the
country. 1t is Il conservative, iudepcn-
dent, sparkling, original weekly that pro
gressve farmers can not afford to do
without. This journal and the Rurdl, in
Guiding It's Seed Distribution for 1856, will
be mailed from now until Jan. LIST, 1sss
for $3.50.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1886-11-19
CHITTENDEN COUNTY JAIL.
A Majority of the subcommittee of the
special Legislature Committee
Favor "a New Building.

Ike subcommittee, consisting of Gen.
Wells, Capt. Proctor and Mr.. Higbee of
Charlotte, appointed to examine the jail
in this city and report as to the need of a
new structure, to the larger committee
consisting of the members from Chitten-
den county, performed that duty Mon
day The committee was accompanied by
Senator Smith Wright and in the absence
of Sheriff Barton, the party were
conducted through the building by
Officer Reeves. The Investigation con
WINGED all the members of the com
mttee that a change was neces-
sary. 1t is understood to he the opin-
ion of Gen. Wells and Capt Proctor
that a new building is demanded and will
be the truest economy. Mr. liigbee, how
ever, thinks that the present structure, if
repaired, Will do well enough, and that
the necessary repairs could be made for
$1,000. Others thought it would cost at
least $1,000 to make the Jail wholesome and
safe. 1t is estimated that $50, 600 would
be required to build new jail, and as the
present property could be sold for $4,000
$1,000, the amount which would be LAID
out III repairs to the present building add
ed to that would leave u comparatively
small additional sum to be raised by tax
alton.
Many citizens who have examined the
| jail, as well as successive grand juries,
| have condemned the jail and think that
the only wise way is to mend it with Il
new one. The present structure has been
repaired again and again AT considerable
/ expense; but inmates find no difficulty III
/ breaking through it whenever left to
! themselves short time. 1t is doubtful if
the old Jail could be placed IN II safe con
/ dition without the expenditure OF sum
| that would 90 a long way toward the eX-
pense of Il new building, which would
need no repairssfor generation to come.
Building materials are now cheap, and it
is in all respects a favorable time Cor the
county to give itself building which il
will not be ashamed of. 1t is to be hoped
/ lhat the Chittenden county senators and
members will give candid and wise con
sideratiOn to the matter.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1886-11-19

High mass for the repose of the souls OF
the deceased priests of this diocese wa
celebrated Wednesday in the cathedral of
the immaculate Conception, in the pres
ence of Bishop DeGoesbriand, with Father
Gaffney Of Dorset rs celebrant, Father
Kerldou Of Alburgh as deacon, Father
ProuiX of Newport rs sub-deacon, and
Father Barrett of this city as master OF
ceremonies. The students of st. joseph :
COLLEGE. under he lead Of Father O'SUllr
van, alteluated with the priests in chant
ing the requiem mass. Among those
present were Very Rev. Father Lynch and
Rev. Fathers ClOarec, INiuec and COatlurI
OF this city, Casey of Rutland, O'Carrol
of Fairhaven, CUNNINGHAM of Brattleboro
O'Rcilley of West Rutland, GHlligan Of
Uuderhill, Barron of Richmond, Cullcy
of Brandon, O'Sullivan of Montpelier
Druon Of It Albans, Reynolds of BELOW,
Falls, Hoollhan of Ludlow ana Langeyil
of EnOsburEh Falls.