Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-05-20
nER ind rnrnE.

logged the first one. Do1kgtGSgStte Goa.
Star.
How would il do TO have one Congress
o monkey with politics, and another one
o attend to business. I'ushpilte (Iad.)
The encore shouters are disagreeable
young men who would not hesitate to
pass up plates for more soup. -Neao
Orleans Picdyune.
When grocer advertises every variety
of raisins, does he include derricks, pull
leys, jack-screws, yeast, rope aud tackle,
bent pins and mustard plasters p EoGHs-
villa Argus.
Everybody, no matter how Grabbed and
morose, must succunb TO the witehing
charm of a laughing child. Even the
heather eannibal loves little bahies.-
SOmervilie Journal
A musical exchange has an article on
"What Music Teachers Should Avoid
In justice to long suffering public we
think they should avoid Sweet Violets''
and possibly "See Saw. ~ DanpiiLe Breese.
"rhe only tree that thriyes better in the
winter than in the summer is the Christ
mas tree" says the Detroit Free Pg eSs,
but it fails to note that bigotry thrives
equally well the year round. S0mergilss
journal.
Chickens" says a colored gentleman,
sometimes come home TO roost." We
know of no more competent authority ON
this subject, and the authority might have
added that sometimes they are very sorry
for it.-Judge.
The innate modesty of newspaper men
is shown by the fact that a Texas editor
killed three men the other day, and in
abiding to the incident afterward ac-
knowledged that he only tried to kill one.
Chicago Tribune.
"Mother, how did it come that they
fixed on a foot bein' II inches ?" II
don't know, Johnny" I'm bet you l
do" "Well, how 7" "'Oause il was n
Chicago girls foot they measured -
kentucky State Journal.
Says n fashion writer, "Half-ftting
cloaks are worn by small girls" We
think we have seen some pretty hig girls
whose cloaks were not even half fitting
Fashion writer's don't know everything
by enough sight. Boston Transcript.
1.-THE True Cause" heads an article in
an exchange. 1t is difficult to tell just
what the true cause was, but knowing hor
love for onions and his inordinate abonIi-
nation of them, it is supposed she had
eaten some for supper. -DdaSoiIIe BTeess.
Eugene Field says the rcedsuspensil n
of the Aybeiter Zeitang (the Chicago
Socialist paper) fills a long-felt want
MIR. Field is mistaken the want will not
be entirely filed until the editor OF the
Aybeiter Zsitung is also suspended. T.
omaha Herald,
Portraits of President Cleveland's
bride-elect are daily appearing in the
newspapers. Up to the hour of going to
press there seems to be about q Of her,
which fact is liable 10 create the impress
sion that the President is Mormon. -
NOuist0'oa Herald.
"oh, always knew Peters would fluid
watery grave said the end man ~
was in his horoscope, don't you know
and nothing could prevent it," "Well
but Peters wasn't drowned; he was run
over by the cars" Oh, pshaw You for.
get it was a milk train
Talented senior - Pardon me, Mis-,
Budd, is it true that you are engaged t.
my classmate, Charley Howard Miss b. =
That's rather pointed question. T. S.
Excuse my asking, but am historian TO
our class, and am getting all the grinds OIL
the fellows | can.-Lite.
We confess to feeling of disappOint
ment in reading David Dudley Field
| speech in behalf of his brother. He sal
nothing about "who steals my purs
steals trash" The neglect to use tn
quotation in issues involving character
a violation of professional precedent. -
Gardner Ne,Cs.
In the window of a Buffalo saloon
conspiouously displayed the sign ''Notar
Public" Tell me-" said custome
what need under heaven can there /
Tor notary public iii Il bar-room ~ ~
swear of the customer who wants to +
fora" replied the quick-witted pr
prietor. -BNdal0 COURIER.
End Mani say, Pudgins, can yo
tell me why the Bartholdi statue is lii
tho flowers that bloom in the spring!
Pudgins-"Oh, I've heard that it
stale. Guess iii bite again, though. Te
me why End man-"Because, SO f
as we know, it is the only thing that hi
nothing to do with the OregOn."
perhaps some of you gentlemen CT
tell me what can do TO reduce the size
my chickens" said the interlocutor, aft
the beautiful ballad, Mothers Gone
Feed the Hens, had been sung. "Yt
might cut OFF their heads" suggest
Bones. "Oh, no, think too much
them for that "Well, then, why do
you bantam?" asked he ofthe tambourii
Bones-"Mr. Johnson, suppose
S were in the blue room at the VII
5 House and should pull down Two of t
E curtains, how much darker would it be
: Interlocutor-''R Really, Bones, can't tt
I Well, how much darker would it he
h the blue room of the White House if "
5 should pull down two of the curtains
. Bones why, two shades Interlocut
>, -'That beautiful song, We Amt {
Long to Stay.
Nov, Mr.. johnson, You are we'll
in mythology "Yes, sir, that's VIII
you can always find me- 1--WE have
II sorts of muses-tLe muse of poetry,
h muse of dancing and SO on. Now,
IS want to ask, for the information of
n present where there is any muse of la
/ ness of night ~ well, Mr.. lfendric
y mythologically speaking. there is II
" Cat egorically speaking, the night is I
e. of news, IdJits.
I, A venerable orthodox brotherin s.
= urban town, who probably never :
!, the inside OF a playhouse, and who knt
~ MS much about comic opera as {
N knows about psalm tunes, has
~ garden and takes great pride il rails
% early vegetables and produce. 1t soun,
a n little odd TO hear him say the other d
~ in reference to his seed purchases !.
= understand those new NIikado' tomat
of are good ones, so ! put EN- on the Ii,
~ --BJst0h HerHN.
of The other night on nn Arkansas I
of road train Il passenger called the cont
mt tor and asked Are we ON tim
ms Yes "timd, Are we On the trac
I'd. II don't know, but Ill 60 forward
n ask lie went away and returning, S
us II am informed that we left the the Il
m. about five miles back. We are now
ming on the country dirt road, and il
don't meet Il wagon we will he all ri
~ You see that there is Il big bend in
" road back here and we ARE saving tiln
=. taking short cut. - ArkaaSao ira,
e. Says the Washington Griac In
,is. District of Columbia there are 81
more women than men.
Forty thousand peachblow cheeks,
ma Forty thousand lovely eyes,
,ad Twenty Thousand willing hearts,
'e" Forty million tender signs,
Forty thousand dimpled hands.
Forty thousand dninty feet
ok. Twenty thousand noses fine,
Use Twenty thousand voices sweet
ON Forty thousand graceful arms
Forty thousand pink-white ears,
hot Forty thousand ripe, red lips,
i'' Twenty thousand lonesome dear
VIZ TMentY thousand WiIling snnls