The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-01-10
BELIEF EOR BALD HEADS.


the bald-headed man has been battling
with tho fly, and the fly has always
got the, best Of the fight. For cen,
turtles 1t has been the custom, of the
little insect to seek the bald pate of the
aged citizen and tickle him with its
hind legs until he snortcd with rage
and pounded the atmosphere with his
clenched lists aud swOye away his soul.
1t has afforded the fly Infinite amuse-
ment to have solid old man chase i,
about room aud Whack ut 1t with =
wet towel until tie sank exhausted into
la chair and bl0wed like porpoise.
But the fiy's fun-making days have
gone, never to return again. The bald
headed mans hour of dsliverance has
come, and he can now lift his voice
In wild shouts'of joy and defiance.
Science has at last discovered II way to-
lnakea fly avoid him as it would a
blast furnace.
A New Orleans man has invented
small electrical apparatus for the relief
to barren,pated inen who are annoyed
by the gambols of the lnischievous
Insect. The apparatus consists of a
thin pad, similar in color to the paitid
scalp of bald head, and which is
worn like skull cap. From a small
battery concealed in the coat pocket
extends firm and flexible wire which
charges the pad with electricity, and
when bald.headed man wishes to
read without being disturbed he adjusts
the pad and turns on the battery. In
few moments fly comes bnzzing
along, aud seeing the smooth poll,
pounces on it with all its feet, and as
quick as fash the insect ia curled up
like q piece Of scorched leather and
rolls from the head as dead as New
England mackerel. In order to better
deceive and lure fly 10 it's death, the
Inventor has placed in the centre OF
the pad decoy In the shape of a
metallic fly of the usual size, ond he
says that his apparatus, which Is called
ssThe Lightning Destroyer" has been
known 10 kill from two to FIVE thou
sand flies in one day. He also states
that a fly prefers bald head to lump
of sugar any time, and that it is a
beautiful sight to see batd-headed
citizen readinga newspaper and dead
flies dropping from his noble and
venerable brow like hail of tin roof.
We congratulate the bald. headed men
upon the invention of an apparatus
which will enable them 10 chnckle
over the wholesale destruction of their
winged tormenters, and cause life to
appear brighter and more enjoyable
Guy Item.
A distinguished German physiolo-
gist denounces the night air superstition
"Sleeping with open Windows" he
ne says, ais most upjustly decried
among people, as well AS night air In
general. But night air is Injurious
only in swampy regions, whereas on
dry soil in the mountains and every-
where in tho upper stories Of house
it is, more saiubrious than day air."
"Draughts," he adds, sare not injuri>
Gus unless we are in a glow. To heal
thy persons it can not possibly do as
much harm as the stagnant air in a
close room. The fear of draughts is
quite groundtess, though it affects
most people in manner which is
simply ridiculous"
I
| The value of t:ie coal mined in the
United States in a year far exceeds
that of all the gold and silver combin
ed. From government reports just is
sued it appears that the coal yield o
1884 was 100000, that of silve,
SIS, soc, 900 aud Of gold $50, SOC, 900, the
bined product of silver and goiC
value by $64, lGO, 1000 Chicago B'ocJ
Diamond.
The longest respite on record hal
been granted by the Governor of Della
ware, inthe case of Lewis +, List. who
was sentenced to death for murder
committed in Wilmington. The law
| prohibits the Governor from commut
ing death sentence, so he overcain.