Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-02-03
THE TWO JENNIES.
Their Novel Scheme for Discour-
aging an Aged Sutton.

Leu us pass lnIO INC slltlnp-tooin vi
Mr.. Archer's substantial, brown farm.
house, where two girls are engaged in q
close and vivacious colloquy. Was there
ever anything SO breezy, so sparkling
and refreshing as agcnuine gillish chatf
Even the nonsense uttered has charm
about it, and while listening, we forget
to call it nonsense. The quiet badinage,
covert shrewdness, quick repartee, the
eager clapping of white hands, and the
merry laughter pcaling forth at short
intervals, are extremely bewitching
when proceeding from youthful lips.
Severe-browed politicians will turn from
long speeches to Buncombe, and
musty old bachelors from the delight
ful contemplation of single blessedncss,
to catch the music of girlish sallies.
Afterward, these masculines will pro-
nounce Judgment, and write treatises on
the Stiffness of womankind in general,
and school girls in particular, to prove
their own superiority to trifles. This
reminds us of those instances in life,
which, when present and palpable, fail
not to please; but, past and shadowy,
we fall to abusing them with astonishing
energy.
1t was not our intention TO write an
essay upon the eccentricities toward
which human nature has such strong
proclivities, but rather to introduce you
to our heroines, Jennie of Essex and
Jennie of Butternuts.
These young ladies had been congrat-
ulating themselves upon the fact that
there was not male ear about to him
der them from speaking freely, and
therefore gossiping to their hearts con-
tent
"Oh, was there ever anything so dis
agreeable as a widower, with his spruce
waysp He has all the confidence of an
experienced and successful fisherman,
and throws out his bait with the most
exasperating assurance, certain of catch
ing what he angles for"
A ripple of silvery mirth was provoked
by this pettish explosion of Jennie of
Essex. for it was she who spoke.
IF he would only marry a widow, it
would be quites proper and fair" she
went on, ''but to offer a second love for
= first is wrong"
'Ah, Jennie, you will surely call one
of these inconsolables husband, and con-
sent to rear up his six motherless dar-
lings."
"You veX me past endurancc Icould
like an old bachelor, with all his fussi-
ness and rustiness, for could conjure
up a romance about him. 1t is impossi-
bic to CLEAN anything but the most CON-
monplace reality in connection with a
practical, keen-sighted widower. If he
has poor teeth he directly procures an
other set, dyes his hair and whiskers,
and Furnishes his outer man very much
as jeweler Furnishes old silver. He
may have been shockingly negligent in
his dress and personal habits in his mar
ried state, but now you find him trans
formed into the sleekest, neatest, brisk
est. most obliging man of your acquaint-
ance; in short, he is metamorphosed.
He coolly calculates his chance of OBJ
tanning young companion; an old one
he will not have. You see it in his eye,
and prove it by his afiable attention to
inarriageable females"
IA libel, Jennie. / shall have YOU
prosecuted for libel. 1 think we should
take it as a compliment, when he who
has lost his conjugal partner so soon
seeks another, mock-seriously respond
ed Jennie, of Butternuts.
"a dubious kind of compliment.
Bluebeard paid us many in his day."
"Why, Jennie, you make me suspect
you have some root of bitterness hidden
from me: Confess that my suspicion is
correct"
al may as well tell you, coz, and per-
haps you can assist me. have suitor,
one Blodgct, whose wife died some six
months since. He is fathers intimate
friend, and therefore comes to me with
a strong paternal recommendation; in
deed, papa yesterday gave ME forciblc
command to treat him with the greatest
kindness and civility. Now, why can
not Blodget fall in love with his house,
keeper, instead of fastening his covet-
Gus glance on meP"
us he richP'
"Yes. 1t is so much the worse for me,
as wealth is powerful attraction to
papa. Besides, have little heart af-
fair of my own" At this point the
warm blood leaped so suddenly to check
and brow, that Jennie of Buttcrnuts
listened with heightened interest. Rod
ney Dayton likes me, l think, little
better than any one else in the world,
though he has not told me so. He
Is poor in purse, but rich in intellect, in
hope and energy"
"You love himp"
dearly, but papa has an unaccount-
able dislike to lawyers, and Rodney is
fitting himself for the bar"
81 see your difficulty. Now / suppose
you want me to be a martyr, and sacri-
fee myself on the shrine of cousinly af-
lection, by marrying the rich old cur
mudgeon. l shan't do it! i am going
TO be an accomplice of uncle, and take
this Rodney myself. 1t is the only course
I can consistently follow. Uncle will
be pleased, Mr.. Blodget will be content
ed, / shall not suffer, and Rodney will
be delighted with the change from Jen-
ME TO Jennie"
"You witch! you have given me a
brighter idea. Come" and she drew
Jennie, of Butternuts, in front of .
large mirror. "Tell me, If you can,
which is you and which is /. Both re-
Elections have the same height and
shape. Eyes, hair and complexion do
not differ. The expression In each is
alike, except the dimples around your
mouth have more wicked meaning.
Papa often mistakes you for me. Our
neighbors do not know you are with us.
Now, you shall array yourself in my
clothes and impersonate me. Mr.. Blod-
get will call this very afternoon, and l
will have you entertain him.
Capital / shall be as variable a
medley of humors as ever tormcnted a
lover. Never fear. j will rid you of
him."
Jennie Archer, of Essex, was an only
Oh ID, and, since her mothers death had
been "the immediate jewel of her IA
theirs SOUL" She was two years older
than Jennie Archer, of Butternuts, and
thereafter to distinguish them, we will
say Jennie sr. and Jennie jr. was a
wild, affectionate creature, ready to en-
ter with zest into anything that would