The Washington critic., 1886-08-21

GENERAL AGD CHjrICULiR.
Congressman O'Nclll OF 81. Louis is not
millionaire, aud when he made his FIRST race
FOR Congress the fact that he was poor
man was the winning card in the deck One
term whettcd his appetite for more, and he
took a second nomination. When he started
out on hi- canvass he was met by a
stalWAt iIsuuaA, who was a worker for
him.
"IIGlu, Dennis" sal the Congressman,
'l'm glad to see you What can do for
you"
"Ets TO do Ter yez that Oi'm afther," re-
Piled Dennis, loyalty.
"Good hoy said the gratidcd nominee
pattng him on the back. what do you
want to do for me, then?n
"Och, Mishther O'Nalc, OF hev favor
to AK av yez. Don't worruk the poore
man sthyle on the b'yes thish tonne"
'But Dennis, am poor" urged O'Neill.
"PhwatW exclaimed Dennis. "Poore?
An yez hev ban in Congress wan term,
MIshther O'Nale? BE iabers the b'yes'li
not he afther belavin' yez at all, at all,
Mishther O'Nale, an Orm wild 'em, bad
luck to it,"
The matter was finally arranged to the
satisfaction Of all concerned and Mr..
O'Noill was elected.
Noah was the first Anarchist. 1t was
only by an ark he saved the world from de
population.
Fellow patriots of Chicago you have my
sympathy.-LIie Most
"Oh, oh, this is too charming for any
thing" exclaimed Mrs. Cleveland 81 have
caught forty-nine beautiful little trouts, and
forty-nine is the number of Iector's tax
tab. 1t is better to be born lucky than rich,
isn't 1t Grovcr?"
~ don't know, my dear replied Grover,
pulling up six pound salmon, as a matter
of course, 81 never tried being born rich.n
AS n farewell performance we would
suggest to Mnior Winston that she sing
"Ilold the Fort" p. S.-Proyided mana
ger Fort will not object to her taking his
name in vain
Thank heaven l am not an Anarchist.
-LGetohimo.
BoMG-AsTlC REMARKS.
Ann. r. Chism is not Il popular girl in
| lhicago.
"We are seven"
Parsons-You are disgrace TO the cloth.
Engel--lt is Engelish, you know.
Lingg-Tiug lingg ting Ring the bell
| softly, there's Grape on the door.
Fischcr-On the hook, at last.
Sples-LRpvUidtis SpcS.
schwab-Swabbed out.
Fielden--Out on first.
"Seven is not lucky NUMBER
Painted red.
Chlcagoed, by thunder!
| To blow up and to hang up.
Dynamite and iurymight.
| Hemp rope is not an explosive.
awe didn't know that jury was loaded. :"
| at begins to look as If the law would
| turn the choke on us. Ha, ha-Ugh."
"Throw us a life preseryer, somebody,
| quickm
The Anarchists lot is not happy one.
Neckst!
To Mr.. Blaine: Are you aware, sir, that
sam Randall was in Chicago yesterday
| making speeches before the Irish National
| LeagueY Why We're you not there your
sellS Is 1t that you have secured the Irish
vote in o bag ANXIOUS lSQURER.
| General Miles to Geronimo-Ah, sir,
good morning. You want TO surrender,
understand.
| Geronimo-That was my intention.
Miles-Upon conditions, sir
Ger.-Yes, one.
Mlles-Name it, please.
Ger.-I heard, on reliable authority, that
Colonel Endcott was going to resign, and
want to succeed him as Secretary OF War.
| Miles-Are you in accord with the Al
mIistration, SIR?
--0ndignanuy) Do look like a
Mugwumpg
N!tlcs-ULooIng over his last years
clothes and hi, general worn-out aud weary
uppearancel- We'll, no. sir, can't say that
you do. You look more like waiting
democrat in Washington city cheap board
ing-house.
Ger -leratrfullyJ yJ-Thanks. What abost
the surrender?
Mlles-l viii report your wishes to the
Department, sir,
Ger--Nery well; and in the meantime
don't send any of yoGr men out looking
for me, uuless they are bald-headed. somC
Of my followers are liable to act hastily
when they see hair. Iur,ror.
|