Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-08-13
LAUGHTER N THE COURTS,
Amusing In sidents of Practice.

Amusing In sidents Of Practice.
The counsel of a certain railroad
company is as bald as that portion of
the school atlas on which the Desert of
Great Sahara Is represented. Not a
spear or blade of the growth which
ordinarily conceals the chronological
peculiarities of mankind is visible
upon his head. 1t is said that in his
youth he had luxuriant hair which has
been gradually worn away by constant
friction with knotty law points. 1t is
sensitive subject with him, and he
keenly resents the slightest allusion to
the denuded condition of his scalp.
One day in the Supreme Court he was
defending the company ip a suit for
damages brought by a well known
Irish lawyer on behalf Of laborer who
had been injured in railroad accident.
The plaintiff on the witness stand told
how wound had been inflicted upon
his head, in consequence of which he
had suffered great physical pain and
mental anguish, losing his situation,
being prevented for weeks from doing
any work, and altogether sustaining
an amount Of injury for which IS. 600
would but feebly compensate him.
The man looked healthy and there
were no visible marks of the hurts
which he asserted that he received.
His lawyer explained this to the jury.
"You see," he said, "the exuberant
portion of capillary substance which
bounteous nature has placed upon the
caput of my client makes it impossible
to locate the cicatrix of the wound to
your satisfaction. But" continued the
lawyer, placing himself behind the
chair of the counsel for the company,
81 can locate the precise spot on my
learned friends head" at the same
moment placing his hand on the bare
poll of his opponent, land can"
"Take your dirty hands off my
head!' shouted the defendants lawyer,
springing to his feet.
! The gavel of the Court raped
sharply for order, and one of the Off
GERS separated the counsellors before
there was any blood shed.
A counsellor who is great believer
in the laws delays, and never loses an
oppor unity TO profit by them, recently
moved In the Superior Court for the
postponement of case in which he
was attorney for the defendant. His
opponent, who was anxious to proceed
with the trial, said: This is the fifth
time that you have made excuses fol
not going on with this matter. Your
Honor TO the judge this case has beer
adjourned on his motion every time
/ have always been ready Tor trial and
/ think he has had indulgence enough
The interests OF my client are suffering
on account of these continued de
lays" =,
| at is impossible" replied the dila-
tory lawyer, 'for me 20 proceed at thi
time. My wife has just had baby
and have had no time to prepare my
seli,"
Il ooh, WELL" answered the counse
| for the plaintiff, testify, "you Away
have some excuse. have never aske'
for any delay. In every instance il
which motion has been made for Al
adjournment you have been response
bic tor it."
; al hope you don't consider me re
sponsible for this one, replied the pre-
!, crastinating barrister; and then, mott
cling the smile upon the face of tn
Judge, he added quickly, ut WASH
my fault, and | assure your Homo
!; this will be the last time" Amid tn
general laughter that this occasione
, :, the speaker sank into his chair i
helpless confusion. The Judge, wit
: his handkerchief pressed to his mouth
with difficulty ma tered his desire
! shout, and intimated with wave {
: his hand that the case might go owe
I for the term.
A quarrel between two neighborln
dealers. in old clothes, in what wa
, known as Chatham street, before til
recent ordinance changing its name be
came law, took the form of litigatio
some time ago. One sued the othe
for SANDER and the case was tried i
the Superior Court, resulting disas
+ trouly to the defendant. The attorne
i of the latter was young lawyer {
high character, well yersed in the law
I and he did all that could be done
a save his client from discontinue, bu
4 the weight of evidence was on tn
!. other side. After the trial was owe
!, this lawyer and his client walked froI
a the court room into the corridor, an
y one of the court officers overheard til
, following colloquy between them,
"Vell, vell," said the second-han
clothing man, shaking his hand unde
n the young lawyers nose. ''Vot for
!; hire you, say 1t was TO win the cas-,
!. wasn't it. and vot for you don't wi
r. it? Vot for hire you?
"You retained me- replied th
counsellor with dignity, ITO defen
this suit. did so to the best of m
,, ability. You lost it because the ey
i dence on the other side was Il
stIong."
nj "Too strong! Vat for you don't te
le me dot before! l could buy thru
, witnesses to his one if you told me d.
d beforel"
r, The upright young practition'
srr turned away in disgust and his cliel
" followed him down stairs shoutin
a "Vot for? Vot for? l brings you O
70 the witnesses you want Vot for
hire you, hap
h. The practitioner at the bar wi
.. halls from the land of Sheridan al
. Burke causes much amusement in Il
courts by his peculiarities. He is
: tall, broad shouldered, heavy ma
4 and when he walks the floor, as is /
custom when examining witness,
makes more noise sometimes than
agreeable to the Court Not long a
I he was engaged in trial before il
| tice in a District Court. The cou