The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-07-14

BRIC-A-BRAC.

pNh N'epA W. NiN' |
Wines and ales often lead to whincs and
ails.
The small boy now dreams of marble
hauls."
The frog is one of the fellows that like a
wet spring.
A growing cvil-Your next door neigh.
boris squalling baby.
A prize fighter is always willing to take |
his pay by tie pound.
The mac. crol arc beginning to bite. So
are the mosquitoes.
Could a bicycle trip be described rs Il
"cirCular saw"
Tho ~pawnbrokcrs' shops arc full of the
leaves of summer.
Broken on the wlccl-a bankrupt bicy-
Gle manufacturer.
The shoemaker is an authority on sole;
the drcssmakcr on bodice.
Who will tic the knot? "Knot tic" SAYS
the Rev. Mr.. Burchard.
1t is said that the dip theory originated
among the Baptists.
The pugilist ought to be n good work.
man, he always tries to avoid strikes.
The chaps that raise the most dust when
they strike arc the carpet bcatcrs.
The dangerous dogs of tho stock mar.
kct arc the pointers.
a man must not expect to live i'm clover
simply because he marrics Il grass widow.
Some American t0rpedocs would he Il
] good fish for the Canadian cruisers to seize.
The hare is hunted 10y the hounds, but
the Welsh rarcbit is followed by the night.
mare.
A dispatch says: "Thc Indians arc being
hcmmcd in" Would it moi be us wei to
rip 'cm up?
AT tho present price of the cereal the LX.
preston Good us wheat needs modify.
ing.
If the bakers could only persuade the
yeast to stop working, their strikes might
bc more effective.
If the chins of some labor dcmagogucs
would knock of work for Il while there
would bc less trouble.
When the plumbers strike for less work
it would seem that the climax of absurdity
had been reached.
A mans domestic relations don't bother
him half so much as the relations of his
domestic.
A woman cannot love n man with her
whole heart. She has to reserve a little Of
her affection for millinery.
George w. Varncy, one Of the pail
bearers ut Il funeral in Dover. n. H., died of
heart disease while carrying out the caskct.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote: eve
arc not very much to blame for our mar
riagcs. We all live amid Authorizations
The rcd flag of the Anarchist like that of
the auctionccr, Should he signal that every
thing under it is to be knocked down.
Nothing but leaves was the subject OF
a Boston clcrgyman'S sermon. A great
many sermons arc nothing but leaves.
S1-"Thicf :" $50, 600" Dcfaul,cr ="
500, 000-"Shortagc" $500, 000-"Cana-
dian tourist $1,000, 00O-"Brilliant tinan-
cicr."
Rose Terry Cook has written n novel
we say we hope Miss Cooks Nos" may
be read.
"IIow docs the milk get into the cocoa.
into it ut all. The cocoanut crows around
the milk. Ask us Il hard one.
Georgia, from present appearances will
hardly be able to save her Bacon. We
would let John be Gordon but not Gov.
crnor.
1t is said that love is blind and per.
haps this may account for the fact that two
lovers never care for any light in the front
parlor.
An honest old farmer, on being informed
the other day that one Of his ncighborS
owed him a grudgc, growlcd out, "No
matter; he never pays anything
Colonel Balm, of Kentucky, is spoken of
ms an eloquent Temperance lecturer. We
always thought whisky was the Lanc of
Kentucky.
II is announced that a New York actor
will appear in The Toy Pistol" He will
probably have to get half cooked" to fill
his role properly.
a bachelor poet %propounds the following
conundrum: What is warmer than n
woman's lovc?' In response to which n
marrid prose writer would like to inquire:
what is colder than n wOmun'S fcct?"
Somebody says the American type of
passes all others that are or ever have been;
all of which il would he dreadful hard TO
make y dude believe.
Black saShcS will he much worn This
summer. We notice this in a faShion pa.
per, and hasten to give ii wider publicity,
because some people are painting their win,
dow frames rod,
eff II baby cries says an exchange.
warm It's feet before you dose it," 1t is
nothing new, We understand, To warm n
baby when it cries; but, unfortunately,
parents DO not usually COnfiuu Tho opera
ton to the little ones feet.
The fuel of thc futurc-Thc wood that
was promised on observation-disclosures
Breeze. II you are troubled about the fuel
OF the future, try your hand on q daily
paper. Then there will hc plenty Of fuel
i'll the future for you. and somebody TO
tend tho lire besides.
A young society girl says that il there is
any one thing more necessary than another
it is that all boys should be taught at school
how to WELD a lady'S fan to n lady's salts.
faction. Not one male person III a hun.
drcd. she says, knows The irst thing about
tanning a lady as 1t ought to be done.
We are informed that i'm 1899, the sum.
mcr season was so full of "rcmorclcss
drown" that cotton planters turned their
stock into the fields in despair, aoon
a~ftcrward, the weather changed, the stall.
wart hoe was wieldGd. ANA The biggest cot.