The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-09-05
WANTED TO BE REDUCED.
Turning Hopefully TO = Tricycle. to Get
Back Her Figure.

Back Her Figure.
A young man went spinning up Riverside
| drive on a wheel, swung to the left at tho
| semi-circle made half a dozen sweeping gym
lions, like a buzzard setting on a bough, and
alightcd astraddle of his backbone-that is,
the backbone of the wheel-so near the re-
tanning wall that little more momentum
would have sent him head foremost over it.
1t all looked graceful enough to indifferent
stocks and scions OF old families rolling by in
their victorias carts and drags, but the young
mans hair had hardly settled back into place
when barouche stopped beside him and a
sweet voice said:
"Will you be so good as to tell me, sir,
where | can buy n tricycle!n
The young man of the wheel gasped twice
when he brought his eyes to bear upon the
speaker. Age 30, more OF less. Tender-eycd
blonde. Crimson checks. Dimples. Roll
under the chin. Diamonds. Black satin.
yellow gloves. Bracelets. French heels.
Coachman. Footman. Skye terrier. Weight
say pa pounds.
Two hundred and forty-five pounds spin
ming up Riverside on n summer afternoon,
mercury 100 degreesI
Il want something to reduce me-" contin-
ued this fairy. Don't you think a tricycle.
would reduce mef Are they hard to ridcs
wonder how long il would take me to learn!
see you ride bicycle. l couldn't do that
very well, but 1 do SO much wish to get "A tri-
cycle-that is, if il will reduce me. What do
you think about it.r
a-really-I-a-thinlS it might reduce
one. But, pardon me, madam, I-a-don't
think that you-a-need reducing"
This gallant lie brought to the surface three
smiles and roll of the head
"Oh, l must be reduced / am resolved
upon it. Why, used to be so slender, will
lowy, as they call it, I've tried everything
to get back my shape, but all in vain, rs you
see. No more flattery, if you please. 1t Is
wasted ON an ugly, old, fat woman. But
where can get n tricyclef ride horseback
every day, but it doesn't reduce me one bit"
"Nol l should think it would-a-rcduce
the-a-horse somewhat"
"Oh, it does, it does. He is nothing but "A
pack Of bones, cried the fairy's companion.
Age -. Brunette. Tailor made suit V
shaped shirt bosom Enameled studs. Stand
ing collar. June complexion. Smiled at
everything TO give her pretty teeth "A fair
chance. Didn't require reducing.
II am rather too heavy for poor Bucepha-
lus," chimod in the fairy. do tell me about
the tricycle."
Madam, go down to Blanks, in Fifty
eighth street, ask for Jones, hire pair of
wheels for an hour and take spin up River
side, just to see how you like the sport"
"Oh, thank you ever SO much. i shall do
that Are you riding every afternoon.
think l shall be on my tri-my wheels, as you
say, tomorrow. do hope it viii reduce me.
1t ought TO do it. Good afternoon, sir, and
thank you 50 much for your kindness"
The barouche with its fair burden rolled
away. The wind came swirling up the road,
lifting clouds of dust; other vehicles dashed
by the young man OF the wheel; a New York
Central freight train ratified along the track
below; sprinkling cart spurted and squirted
in the Semi-circle, but above all the din there
sounded one word in tone hopeful, if pa
thetic-"reduced." New York Tribune