St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-11-28

ton that would enable me to keep my
knees from pounding against each other
when 1 was dragged up in front of the
preacher.
l spent delightful half hour in the par
lOr gazing mOdeStly at a self-feeding coal
stove, while the friends of the family sat
around surveying me critically and wonder
ing if | had borrowed money for the Occa-
sion. or had really saved enough to carry
Inc through without financial embarrass-
ment. Every few minutes somebody would
look up at the pale face of the clock
and with an expression on their face
that has been handed down from genera
ton to generation, would ask me if didn't
feel trife shaky, or inquire if had had
my hair cut short. or if had made up my
mind to ren0unce the world. the flesh and
the devil. and to henceforth bring in wood
and buy kerosene with meek and humble
spirit These were entertaining questions
to a man whose heart was palpitating
against the roof of his mouth,
and who was sure that his white
satin necktie had unpinned in the
back and was rearing up over the
top of his coat collar. These were very in
teresting questions to man who was busily
engaged in wondering what his bride would
say when she discovered that he had to at
tend lodge four nights in the week and
hadn't orpamented his life with cent of
insurance. | was constrained to make
some remark about chestnutS. etc., but my
better nature kept me from making any
such break. and so | laughed in a thin,
pale way and looked pleased while l waited
with baited breath q had baited my breath
with dark brown clove) for the signal at
which l was to sponge off my tore
head, pull down my vest so that my
friends watch chain would show and
march with an arabesque wedding march to
the center of the parlor, where the words
were to be spoken that would forever cut
ME off from single barreled bessedneSS.
Ny dear boy it isn't necessary for me to
detail what happened. How my knees
snOte each other until | had to send out
and buy bottle of Bumps sure cure for
ringbones; how my breath came thick and
| fast. so thick and fast that beautiful pho
tOgraph was taken of it with the inStanta-
neOus process; how murmnred No, when
! should have said Yes. and vice versa,
with a trifle more versa than vice; how |
so far forgot myself when charming little
lady came up to me and, grasping my
hand, said: Accept my congratula-
tiOns," as to reply drink hearty how
placed a sealed envelope into the hand
of the minister. asking him as favor to me
not to open it until he reached home, and
how L afterwards discovered that | had for
COTTON to put the $40 bill into the envelope.
These and hundred more little things Oc-
Cured with deep incaustic occur that
will enable me to remember them forever.
We are comfortably dOmiciled in pretty
little home furnished with all modern con-
veniences and the privilege of going down
stairs to dump coal ashes. L have been try
ing to devise some plan by which will be
able TO let the coal ashes drip through a
bronze seve without filing my hair and
raiment with "reminiscences of defunct an
thracIte. l went down to sift some the
other morning. and when | returned to the
kitchen Mrs. II. screamed a hysterical va
riety of scream-and said it frightened her
teri bly, to see Inc overspread by dust and
ashen hue. l told her quietly that she
would manifest larger degree of common
sense if she would get the 35- cent broom
that bought few days before, and sweep
the ashen hue off of me She did so.
Our friends gave us many valuable and
cherished manifeStOes of their good will.
among which was solid silver tea set Of
five p .eces. capable of being pawned at full
value at any time when occasion shall de-
mand. We think great deal of it on this