davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-16
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A Pennsylvania man put some dyn-
amite in the kitchen stove to dry the
other day, and neither the stove nor
the dynamite can be found. Some men
are awful wasteful. Philadelphia Call.
-O'Leary, the pedestrian. is said to
have walked $4,000 miles since he left
America, and various '.star" actors and
actresses, not so well known as Dan.
are feeling more hopeful.-OI City
Derrick.
If there is anything more dangerous
than the unloaded gun, which always
goes of when it is pointed at anybody,
t is the pleasure boat that can't tip
over. 1t is this kind of boat which tips
over every time.-Boston Transcript.
"A South Carolina woman rode
twenty-five miles through drenching
rain to marry the man she loved.
Seems as though man would be
rather shy about marrying woman
with so much energy as that.-Burling-
ION W. Free Press.
Enter Mr.. Suave with his son
Tommy. Mr.. Suave-.'Ah! how-do,
Mr.. Jones? Tommy, this is Mr.. Jones;
you've heard me speak of him." ''Oh,
yes; that's the man you told mother
was the biggest fraud in the city. p
Boston Transcript.
"A young married couple from Texas
were doing Niagara Falls. They were
being conducted under the falls bv e
guide. "You must take care now. fol
if you let your foot slip you will bt
lost" Jane, you go on ahead" said
the man from Texas. Texas Siftings,
in Canterbury. England, the other
day, curious brass box was dug up.
Its name and purpose was mystery
until being opened, there was found in.
side three buttons, piece of tin and q
scrap of paper. Then they knew it was
an ancient contribution box hiladel.
pltia Call.
You needn't pretend to look down
on me. sir" said tramp to lawyer.
of whom he was begging. ''Well, il
seems to me you think you are some
body" well, I'm just as good as you.
sir. / solicit money of you, that's all.
So don't see but that we are both in
the same boat-both solicitors. - Chi
cdg0 JTt6une.
When Daniel Webster sat down one
cold winter morning to write Beautiful
Snow" he little thought how many
writer's would rise up and claim to bt
its true and only author. 1t would
have been much better for Daniel had
he been content with the fame his die.
tionary had brought him.-LossisvilI,
! Courier-.Journdl.
Mr.. Smith {who has Just married
his second) MIR. Featherly, 1 would
like to present you to my wife. My
dear, Mr.. Featherly." Mr.. Featherly-
PLEASED to meet you, Mrs. Smith.
knew the former Mrs. Smith very well. >
Mrs. "Indeed?' Mr.. Featherly
30. my, yes! She was an admirably
woman in every respect. Her dealt
was great misfortune TO Mr.. Smith. ,
Halls Journal Of Health says lin
tense thirst is satiated by wading il
water" Here is an idea theatrical man
! ayers should Immediately act upon
Let them provide pool of water il
their respective houses Of amusement
for the benefit of young men whose in
tense thirst drives them out between
the acts. Managers should spare NJ
expense to cater to the wants of thei
patrons. NorrisfeUn Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-16

/ then hung blanket from the two upper
posts, on which l pinned the following
card, which fabricated with some black
ing and sheet of paper:
CHARLES ENaLEMAN Moody.
The Boss Artistic Decorator. Orders by mail
promptly attended to.
i then took the books out of the case and
built neat pyramid ON the floor, and
turned the case upside down, across one
corner of the room. The table / turned up
side down, and hung a hat on one leg, a
hat on the other and Q pair of breecbes on
the other two. then draped the pictures
with some shirts, and opened my trunk and
set it UP in one corner, displaying neat as
sortment of under-clothng, and attached
the following card: ''All for style" then
tumbled the bed-clothes into one corner Of
the room. and got behind them to await de-
velopments. 1t wasn't long before heard
them around to the room opposite mine,
and / heard the visitor praising it very
much. They started across the hall and
my mother said:
This is Charley's room here. He is so
old fashioned in his notions that he won't
let us do mucn with it but keep it clean /;
but we came in this morning and fixed 1t
up in style" With that she opened the
door aud walked in.
''Oh. goodness graciousr' said my
mother.
For the worlds saker' said my sister,
The visitor stified a premature compli-
ment and asked If we had earthquakes up
in this country very often The whole party
then proceeded down stairs and returned
10 my work. When / returned to my room
found everything in its accustomed place.
now sleep the sleep of conteptment--
Sam, the ScurCynoltch.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-16

Black linen thread should be kepl
wrapped in paper or away from the
light. which rots it.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-16
The various Elements.

the various Elements.
What are the elements?" asked Texas
teacher Of a pupil.
AN, fire, water and whisky"
why do you call whisky one of the
elemeuts%
Because when pa comes home full Oh
whisky, ma says he is in his element"
There is one element you have omitted
entirely. What other great element d
there besides fire, air and water?"
Il dunno"
why. what do we stand on?'
stockings. "-Teras Siftings,
, 1886-08-28

A thin, prim, little elderly woman,
with her arms full Of white and yellow
daisies, and a big bundle of green leaves
dangling by a string from her wrist. went
down a quiet street ahead of me one
evening. The dust Of country roads was
on her skirt and she walked YEARLY.
She was followed by a dozen cats, at
least, tramp and vagabond felines that
trotted along with waving tails, shifting
at the bundle of leaves, one of the bold
est even trying to reach them with its
teeth. The little woman finally halted
and cast a couple of handfuls of the
leaves to her followers. Immediately
they began to devour them, to play with
them or roll over them, while she
went on.
Its catnip," she explained to me, who
had stopped to watch the performance.
Il always bring some home for my cats
when / go to the country, and the poor
things smell it as l pass by. They'd fol-
low me all the way home if l didn't give
them some. Look at that old black tom.
He won't leave me till I go into the
house.
He was following her when she passed
from my sight.-Alfred Trumble in New
York News.
, 1886-08-28

There was a time when no front yard q
dozen feet square was complete without a
croquet set. The very children played it on
the commons as they might cricket or base
ball. Lawn tennis seems to be achieving much
the same favor, for a positive craze for it has
developed this summer. 1t has become so
popular that 1t Is no longer fashionable, and
our aristocrats are on the lookout for some
thing to replace 1t. Meanwhile every other
lawn you pass displays a tennis court, the
boundaries lined off with whitewash on the
grrss and the net making a fence for the birds
to perch On when, as rarely happens from
dawn to dark, 1t Is not in use. Nor is it the
shady lawn alone that is consecrated to the
prevailing mania You will find players
melting nway IN the unsheltered seashore,
and bedewing the parched grass OF the noun
tain as they dance madly about with the
bounding and eccentric ball. The girls all do
themselves justiceat tennis. Even the ugly
ones become picturesque in action. But OF
all the doleful and narrowing sights / know is
the understanding dude, hopping to and fro
at a rate that threatens To snap his pipestems,
and putting On an air OF ecstasy that thinly
masks his anguish and despair. No one will
ever envy a dude his rank In life after seeing
him at lawn tennis in the dog days. He pays
a terrific price for his distinction--Alfred
Tumble In The New York News.
, 1886-08-28

Sensations Of vision require a definite
time of exposure Of the retina, which
time Mr.. j. NJ. Cattell of the university
of Leipsic finds to be considerably de-
pendent on the nature of the object and
the intensity of the light. 1t varies
with the several eolors. Orange gives
the quickest impression of the eye and
yellow closely follows it; then comes
blue, red, and green; while the retina
is least sensitive TO violet light time,
which is from two to three, times as
long as for orange. By lamplight the
eye works more slowly than by daylight,
and the order of perceiving colors is
changed to orange, red, yellow, violent,
and blue.-Chicago News.
, 1886-08-28

Out OF a total of seventy-six senators
thirty-four have been born in the states
they represent. All the New England
senators have been born in their re-
spective states, with the exception Of
Chase, of Rhode Island, and Hawley, Of
Connecticut, the latter having made a
jump from North Carolina Only n
New York senator, Miller. was born in
the Empire state, Evarts having first
seen light in Boston, Mass. Both of the
senators from Maryland, from Pennsyl-
vania, South Carolina. North Carolina,
Delaware, Virginia, West Virginia and
Tennessee were born in the states they
represent. The remaining senators that
are certified representatives of the states
that gave them birth are Blackburn,
Cockrell, Colquitt, Eustis, Logan, Palmer
and Observation-Disclosures Times.
, 1886-08-28

At the recent festive gathering OF the
club called odd Volumes" one OF the
members gave a curious account Of mas
sage as = mode Of treatment. 1t Is GER
tainly very popular at the present mo
mont, and people want to hear some
thing clear and definite about 1t. The
gentlsman assured his listeners that
there was reason to think that massage
had been known to the Chinese from
time immemorial, and 1t was stated that
the process was fully described in a MSS.
called Kong Fou," the date OF which
was 5000 BIC. The word itself was de-
rived, according to some authorities,
from the Greek "massein." to rub; while
others referred it to the Arabic word
mass" to press softly. In a primitive
form 1t was known both to the Greeks
and the Romans, who resorted to it after
a bath, a custom which prevails among
the Orientals to the present day. After
the struggles of the circus it was EN-
ployed to dissipate the resulting contu-
sions and extravasations, and to restore
pliability to the bruised and stiffened
joints.
Among the Sandwich islanders it is
frequently practiced under the name of
1lomi-lomi," and the process was fully
described in the works of Emerson and
Nordhoff. This, however, was q crude
and primitive form. having very little in
common with the elaborate scientific sys-
tenn now resorted to in this country.
There was reason to think that the true
massage was used in France in the early
part OF this century, an opinion that was
to some extent confirmed by the fact
that all the terms employed to designate
the various branches of the art were
French in origin. The literature OF mas
sage was now very extensive, and dur
ing the last ten years over 100 works had
appeared or the subject .-Court Jour
mil
, 1886-08-28

Filliping the toad was formerly a com
mon and cruel diversion for boys in Eng
land. They placed a board, W. or three
feet long, at right angles over a trans
verse piece two or three inches thick,
and then after placing the toad at one
end of the board, the other end was
struck by a bat or large stick, which
threw the poor toad forty or fifty feet
perpendicularly from the earth. and the
fall generally killed it.-Boston Budget.
, 1886-08-28

Can anyone bring us a case of kidney
liver complaint that Electric Bitters
will not speedily cure? We say they can
not, as thousands of cases already per
manently cured and who are daily recon
mending Electric Bitters, will prove.
Bright's disease, diabetes, weak back, or
any urinary complaint quickly cured.
They purify the blood. regulate the bow
els, and act directly on the diseased parts.
Every bottle guaranteed. For sale at so
a bottle by ". N. Hunt 81,
, 1886-08-28

. If parents who have children would
take DR.. W. N. Hunts advice they would
never be without a bottle Of Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhea Rem
edy in the house, then in case Of need
night or day, they would be prepared to
cure sudden attacks Of bowel complaints.
1t is absolutely unsafe to be without a
reliable medicine of this kind at hand and
we know Of none better than Chamber
lainfa
, 1886-08-28

The Prussian house of lords numbers
nominally 313 members, ninety-seven Of
whom are hereditary, while 216 are ap-
pointed for life. However, while thirty
Tour Prussian cities are entitled to seats
in the house, some of them practically
never avail themselves of the privilege.
Thus Konigsberg has been without a
representative for nearly twelve years
Detroit Free Press.
, 1886-08-28

Which scrofula has upon the system must
be arrested, and the blood must be puri-
fled, or serious consequences must ensue.
For purifying and vitalizingi effects,
Hoods ~Sarsaparilla has been found supe-
rior to any other preparation. 1t expels
every trace Of impurity from the blood,
and bestows new lite and vigor upon every
function Of the body. enabling it to en-
tirely overcome disease.
, 1886-08-28
FROM ll5 lbs. to I6l lbs.
To the Cuticura Remedies | Owe
My Health, My Happiness and
My Life.

A day never passes that | do not think
and speak kindly of the Cuticura Rene
dies Seven years ago all OF a dozen
Jumps formed on my neck ranging in size
from a cherry stone, to an orange. The
large ones were frightiul to look at and
painful TO bear; people turned aside when
they saw me in disgust, and | was ashamed
to be on the streets or in society. Physi-
clans and their treatment and all medi-
cines failed TO do any good. In q moment
of despair | tried the Cutcura Remedies
-Cuticura, the Great Skin Cure, and
Cuticura Soap, an exquisite Skin Beauti-
fer, externally. and Cuticura Resolvent,
the new Blood Purifier, internally; the
small Jumps las ! call them) gradually
disappeared, and the large ones broke in
about two week, ~discharging large guam
titles OF matter, leaving two slight scars in
my neck to day TO tell the story OF my
suffering. My weight then was lis sickly
pounds; my weight pow is l6l solid,
healthy pounds, and my height is only
FIVE feet FIVE inches. In my travels |
praised the Cuticura Remedies north,
south. east and west To Cirticurd Ken
edis l otoe my health, my happiness and
my life. A prominent New York drug
gist asked me the other day: do you
still use the Cuticura Remedies, you look
to be in perfect health2' My reply was:
II do, and shall always. | have never
know what sickness is since | commenced
nsing the Cuticura Remedies" Some
times ] am laughed at by p~raising them TO
people not acquainted with their merits,
but sooner or later they will come to their
senses and believe the same as those who
use them. as dozens have whom | have
told, May the time some when there
shall be a large Cuticura' supply house in
every city in the world Tor the benefit Of
humanity. where the Cuticura Remedies
shall be sold only, 20 that there will be
rarely a need OF ever entering a drug
store. NJ. HUSBANDS,
2l0 Fulton St, New York, N. Y.
Cuticura Remedies arc a positive cure
for every form OF Skin and Blood Diseases,
from pimples to s%crofula. Sold every
where. Price: Cuticura, so cents; Soap,
25 cents; Resolvent, 81. Prepared by the
Potter Drug and Chemical Co., Boston,
Mass.
Sead for "How to Care Skin Diseases"
HuPLES. Blackheads, Skin Blemishes,
bWand Baby Humors. use Cuticura Soap
, 1886-08-28

Those who suffer from disorder or mac
ton of the liver will never get the upper
hand OF the unruly organ so long as they
use such irrational remedies as blue pill.
calomel and podophyllin. But from the
tried and popular medicine, Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, they may expect relief
with a certainty of obtaining it The in
Huencc Of the bitters upon the great hillary
gland is direct, powerful and speedily ielt.
The relief afforded is not spasmodic, but
complete and permanent. The sallow-
ness of the skin. furred appearance of the
tongue, indigestion. costlveness, head
ache, nausea, pains through the right side
and shoulder, in fact every accompani-
ment of the obstinate complaint are en-
tlrely and promptly removed by a course
of this inestimable medicine, in behalf Of
which testimony is constantly %emana,ing
from every quarter, and from all classes of
society.
, 1886-08-28

The pages Of the national house of
representatives conduct a fair business
procuring the autographs Of members.
They charge the autograph hunter $40
for the signature OF the whole house. In
the senate the charge is only IS because
OF the fewer members. Washington Let
ter N
, 1886-08-28

1 The best sAlve in the world for cuts.
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rhcum, lever,
sores, letter. chapped hands. chilblains,
cons and all skin eruptions. and positively
cures piles, OF no pay required. 1t is
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, or
money refunded. Price rs cents per box.
For sale by W. N. Hunt.
, 1886-08-28

The great Tower of Babel is being
Quilted by the Arabs, who dig its brick
for building purposes. 1t y the quarry
OF Hillah, but is not fruitful Of antiqui.
ties.-Iibrary Magazine.
, 1886-08-28

N Mro~>o Blood Elixir Is the only
ANNON - Blood Remedy gusran-
tsod. Niss positive cure for Ulcers. Erup-
lions or Syphilitic Poisoning. Itpuridest tho
whole system. and bsnishes all Rheumatic
and Neuralgia pains. We guarantee It,
Pearse & McGill, Druggists.
, 1886-08-28

FREE TRIAL Thousands n, cases Of
prostraff0n, result Of frdiserefion, excezcs or
any ott or cau.e, cured by R~rvtts, StronE
faith that win cure every case prompts me
postage, etc. DB- 40. DIN, Bon M. Chicago
, 1886-08-28

- Kidnp Rhins, Shoins. Backnche,
Weakness and WEAKNESS caused by
overwork, dissipation, standing,
walking, or the sewing machine,
cured by the Cuticura Anti. Pain Plaster.
New, elegant, original and infallible. 25c.
, 1886-08-28

The Soils Cigar Co. of Denver import
their tobacco direct from Cuba in air tight
packages. Their Cigars are always fresh
and have the genuine Cuban favor. No
artificial flavor. Once tried, ever used.
Ask for Soils Cigars. Sold by all dealers
, 1886-08-28

Neat assortment Of visiting cards at the
Leader of6ce. 81
, 1886-08-28
Louisiana State lotterv COMFY
Extraordinary Quarterly Drawing

In the Academy Of Music. New Orleans, Tues
day. Sept. IA. lSsG.
Under the personal SUPERVISION and manage
ment Of General q T.. Il UkEGARD. Of
Louisiana, and General JUBAL A.
EARLY Of \trpiuia
, 1886-08-28
EsrRAH NOTICE

Strayed from the city a few days ago, a
roar horse, branded ON, 3 years old; had
a head halter on. information leading to
the recovery of the horse will be paid for
literally by THOMAS MILLS,
Cheyenne.
, 1886-08-28

V. s. Glafcke, the florist, telephone
No. 6s. Artistic floral work a specially.
, 1886-08-28

Sesd for "Hew to Care SkIn Diseases"
P,mPLES. Blackheads, Skin Blemishes,
s~and Baby Humors, use Cuticura Soap
, 1886-08-28
Three P~ecuIlarities

Hoods Sarsaparilla, the great blood purifier
and regulating medicine. is characterized by
three pecuiiarities, namely;
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15
MIR. O,NeiI and the Moulders.

Mr.. O'Neil of Missouri having received
from the International Moulders' Union, at
Toronto, Canada, very tlattering acknowl-
edgment of his services In behalf OF the
National Trades' Union bill, last evening
telegraphed the following appropriate re-
sponse, in which 1t will be observed that
Mr.. O'Neil, with the generous and gentle.
manly instincts characteristic of the man,
calls the attention of the moulders to the
fact that he is not entitled to monopoly Of
their gratitude, but that some credit is to
be given to Senator Blair.
international MouideyS' linton, Toronto, Gun
dd0. l am extremely grateful for your
complimentary recognition OF my services in
aiding the passage of the bill for National In,
corporation of Trades Unions,
The bill introduced by myself was Identical
with the bill presented by Senator Blair, but
his bill having passed the Senate, was called
up by me In the House. He has been its faith
full advocate for years, and realizing that the
omission of his name from complimentary
resolution was due to your not being aware
of the fact, think II proper TO send this state
ment. Again thanking You, believe me yours,
JOIIN a. o. NEIL
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15

w. S. Hancock Post No. /, G, A, r., held
an enthusiastic meeting last night, at which
thirty recruits were mustered in. A de-
partment encampment was effected by the
election Of the following officers; NJ, A,
Dillon, commander; j. NJ, House, $. V. c.;
j. II. Wolston, j. V. c.; O. Gushing, medi-
cal director; g. Dannenhower chaplain; IL.
l.. Piper, Judge advocate,
The stockholders of the Metropolitan
Railroad Company have elected the follow
ing directors for the ensuing year. d. f.
Robinson, Daniel b. Clarke, John Cam
mack, Robert BeNll A. A. Wilson, George
w. Pearson and Robert ID. Weaver.
A department encampment Of the Union
Veterans Union was organized last night
by the election of the following officers; NJ,
A. Dillon, commander; j, NJ. House, senior
vice-commander; j. r. Wolston, junior
vice-commander; IL. Cushing, medal dl-
rector; q. Danpenhower, chaplain, and
Horace H. Pipes, Judge-advocate.
1t never fails-Red Star Cough Cure. 1t
conquers pain-St. Jadob's Oil.
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15
The botanical Gardens.

Passing eastward from the Museum. over
the railroad bridge that spans sixth street,
and through the pretty park lying between
Maine and Missouri avenues the visitor
south of Pennsylvania avenue, of the Bo-
tanical Gardens. These interesting grounds
are open daily from 0 in the morning to
in the evening. They We're established
80 years ago. The conservatories are filed
with the choicest and rarest foreign plants
Around the gardens are extensive collec.
tions of trees and shrubs. In the centre of
the lawn facing the centre conservatory is
tracted so much attention at the Philadel-
Dlin Centennial,
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15

the War Department oocupies the entire
some structure. The most beautiful room
In the whole building Is conceded TO be the
library of the State Department, with south
front, from whose windows the eye can
sweep unlntcrrupte1ly down the Potomac
70 Mt. Vernon and far over the Virginia
hills. The building is In the Italian Renais.
sance. II Is 5G7 feet long aud 3tJ feet wide.
It's greatest height Is i2S feet, and the flag,
the breeze higher up than any other flag In
the city, not excepting those above the
Senate and House of Representatives The
cost of the building was five millions Of dol
White House, and we think, as much us
q -
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15

The Corcoran Art Gallery Is az the corner Of
Pennsylvania avenue and Seventeenth
street, opposite the War, Navy and State
Department. 1t Is open Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays free; on other days Tex
cept Sundays a small admission fee Is
charged. This gallery, although not to be
leries, is nevertheless very credltable in
stitution for so new country as the United
States. 1t contains among other original
objects Powers great statue of the Greek
Slave. -
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15
\ strong Endowment

is conferred upon that magnificent insti-
tuition, the human system, By DR., Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" that fortides
1t against the encroachments of disease. 1t
is The great blood purifier and Alternative,
and as remedy for consumption, bron-
chitis and all diseases of a wasting nature,
its influence is rapid, eflcacious and per-
manent. Sold everywhere,
The Washington critic., 1886-07-15
EIle Louise Home.

The Louise Home Is beautiful building at
the corner of Massachusetts avenue and
Fifteenth street, near Scott Circle, 1t has
extensive grounds, beautifully embellished,
and is unique establishment. IL is a
memorial to the wife and daughter of Mr..
W. W. Corcoran and is intended as a home
for ladies of education, birth and refine
nent, who have been reduced to poverty
from aliluenCe,