davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
Well Hitched.

One of the walters at the hotel in
Grenada, Miss, told as that a colored
wedding was coming off that evening.
and several white people went over to
the house designated to witness the af-
fair. The happy couple finally stood up
before the minister, who said:
Samuel. you an Lucinda am short
ly to be jined together. Does you de-
sire to back out?'
mo, sah."
"How am it-wid you LucindaP Does
you want to funk afore desc yere white
folksp'
mo, sah.'
''Den you two hitch hands,"
They hitched.
Samuel, does you take her fur bet
ter or wussP Am you gwine to do de
far thing by dis yere gurl, who's fad
der was killed on the railroad up nigh
Jackson?''
''Yes, sah.''
Lucinda, does you realize the seri-
BUSINESS of dis opportunityp Am you
gwine to stick to Samuel clean frew to
de judgment day, or am you gwine to
trifie around arter odder menP"
''lze gwine to stick"
Den. chill'en, in de presence of desc
yere white men from the MORT, one of
whom subscribed two bits yesterday to
help build up de meetin' house dat was
blowed down by the sighclone, l de-
nounce you as hitched, jined, an mar'd
cordin' to the law an gospel. Now
you go long an behave yerselves!''--
Detroit Free Press.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
Condensed General News.


telegram from Belfast OF the 10th says
Five thousand troops and 2. 800 constar
bles occupy the disturbed districts. The
presence oil the police tends to increase in
stead OF suppress the disorders.
Protestants declare that Catholics were
the aggressors by wrecking protestant
houses, while Catholics are equally certain
that Protestants were the aggressors. Of
one thing there is no doubt-never did two
mobs of different religions display more
bloodthirsty desire to kill or MAIN each
other. During the fighting on Sunday and
Monday, whenever powder ran short, vira-
goes on both sides, with hat-irons and other
implements, ground large grains OF blasting
powder into n size suitable for small arms
while boys OF tender age melted lead into
bullets and slugs. While the rioters were
firing, youths and women stood behind
them loading spare guns, in order to pre-
vent a waste of time. Both sides are
doing their utmost to hide their losses.
On Monday the Protestants received a
welcome donation OF twenty-five rifles and
much ammunition from Ballymaccarett
sympathizers, while Ballynalinch Nation
alists sent the Catholics a supply OF am
munition and many revolvers OF the type
called ''Sweethearts." The plentiness of
weapons will constitute the greatest danger
III the future. A visitor who has been
studying the cause OF the riots, writes: 1t
is useless mineing matters. The police have
fired upon nd slain people from panic, ifnot
from vindictiveness. The people assert
that the latter was the cause. The people
regard the police as murderers, not pro-
tectors. The friends and neighbors OF the
killed and wounded all regard the police as
foes. Their bare presence is q terror to be
repulsed and excludes the idea OF wanton-
ness. | have seen men in respectable
houses throwing stones at batch OF
twenty policemen escorted by 100 horse
soldiers.
Numerous complaints have been made
OF the behavior of the police.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19

Speaking of around town." said a
well-known attorney last evening, ''let
me tell you of q little incident connect
ed with my beginning the practice of
my profession in Buffalo. 1t was some
years ago-never mind how many
that came here, and the day 1 came to
town l had just $35 in my pocket.
Meeting a party of jovial youngsters,
we unloaded considerable glassware,
and when 1 awoke two days after was
dead broke. The police justice was a
particular friend of mine, and SO went
to his office and asked him to lend me
$40.
Haven't got cent. said he, but you
just sit down there q few minutes.
Some sucker II be brought in here soon.
I'll fine him &5 aud you can have the
money And he was as good as his
word. In less than half an hour l had
my " and went my way rejoicing. -
Bo6alo Nes0s.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
wicked Funeral Extravaganza.

The 'tGates Ajar," the Broken Pill
lar" the Gross and Crown" the
''Sheaf of Wheat" and another hideous
invention of the funeral florist, the
.'Vacant Chair" were all there.
Enough money had been spent in these
useless and ostentatious things to keep
the dead mans family for several
months. His coffin was piled high with
''fioral emblems." and twenty-five car
riagcs waited around the corner to join
the regulation six which were permitted
to stand before the church door. This
was pleasing way Of getting ahead
of the priest, 2 who had wisely forbid
den that more carriages than the half
dozen should attend any Of his par
ishioner's funerals. The next week the
friends Of the deceased were engaged
in arranging q. collection for the pur-
chase Of sewing machine for-so the
printed card of appeal said--ssa starv.
ing family. -" FreesGn's Joarsal.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19

Nothing does one more good than to
stand by when two doctors meet and
see the courtesy which they bring to
the profession.
..Ah! Good morning. doctor"
Doctor, good morning."
Zine day, doctor.
Doctor, it's charming. When did
you return3'
Yesterday. doctor. Say. doctor,
how il the hOrse?"
..All right, doctor. .-all right. I'm
obliged to you"
..NOt at all, doctor, not at al"
"Well, doctor, must be going"
..Same here, DOCTOR"
'.Gpod-by, doctor" -
doctor, good-by. Detroit Free
Press.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
A Very Moral Man.

There is Mr.. B. He is one of our
best moral men, and he occupies po-
sition of high social distinction in our
midst. He also has an Office of honor
and trust. At home it were simply alb
surd to question Mr.. BIS morality. He
is most exemplary man indeed. Moth
ers point him out to wayward sons as q
fac simsile of the perfect man. He
avoids saloons and billiard halls as he
would the yellow fever; and, in fact,
shuns everything in the line of vices.
He attends all the temperance meet
ings, and even teaches class of boys
at Sabbath school.
Mr.. b. goes of to the city for some
recreation. There he loosens the lines
of moral restraint SO rigidly kept
Strengthened ut home. How quickly
they assume decidedly zigzag turn. He
..larks" to his hearts content while
''taking in the CITY," When he returns
to his home, everybody welcomes the
very moral man who is almost as good
rs Deacon Allen himself. Perhaps he is
met at the depot, and . general '.fass''
is made over him. This very moral
man is re-installed into his old Office of
honor and trust, while his influential
official friends feign Rip Van Wrinkle
Inconsistencies Of his spree in New
York, or that scrape with q. woman
in the case" when he went to New Or
leaus. None care that he made glar-
ingly ugly angle in his path of recti-
tude, and that 4 man really worthy OF
support, one mentally, morally, and
physically equipped to withstand the
Establishments to be encountered in cities
and all their allurements, stands un-
recognized. Mr.. b. resumes his du-
ties, secretly chuckling over his clev-
erness ut pulling the WOOL over his
neighbors' eyes. And thus he goes on
tho moral tenor of his way.
He is certainlya remarkable lndivid-
ual. See what genius he displays
for falling from the acute to the straight
angle Of morality!
Mr.. B. would undoubtedly be found
out in time, wero Il not for the fact
that so many Of his constituents recog-
nise il biz xiezag morality, : parallel
case with their own. Prof a. II GSo-
aoss. ~ Sc Losis Aaoasise.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
FABLES FOR THE TIMES.
THE CAMEL AND THE GOAT.

Id8 CAM8A AMI 1x1B 0OAAs
A Goat one day met a Camel, and
said: Hello, old fellow, you seem to
have your back up this morning"
"Oh! you are too low-fung for my
use, retorted the Camel, as he kicked
the Goat forty yards down steep hill
MORAL: This Fable teaches the bad
policy of laughing at the affections Of
deformed people; and hints that polite
ness is never thrown away.
THE GIANT AND THE PILL.
A Giant once engaged Pill in con-
versation. and becoming suddenly an
cry, abused it in the most violent man
ner and made the most sarcastic and
insulting remarks about its size and
seeming weakness. The Pill did not
reply to the insults, but on the follow
ing morning 1t secreted itself in the
food that had been prepared for the
Giant and thus obtained an entrance
into his inner temple. where it straight
way wrcaked direful vengeance.
MORAL: This Fable teaches that
science is often a match for superior
muscle in pugilistic encounter.
THE TERRAPIN AND THE TAILOR.
A Terrapin had for long time avoid
ed the payment of tailor's bill by
shutting up his shell whenever the
Tailor came about him. But one
morning, when the Tailor had been
thus baffied for the hundredth time, he
pasted the bill ON the Terrapin's back,
leaving the animal in ignorance of what
had been done. The Terrapin was not
worried by the Tailor any more. but by.
crawling through the town with the
bill on his back, he lowered his credit
to such an extent that he had to leave
the community.
MORAL: This Fable teaches that
while man may avoid his creditors
by adopting a zig-zag route in walking
down town, the fact of outstanding
debts cannot be kept profound secret.
Life.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
He Now Knows His Pa.

Down in the woods of the Chicka-
mauga battle-fields rabbits scurry from
one brushheap to another, and the
squirrels chatter as they look down
from their perches at men wandering
from point to point in the openings.
We were skirting Snodgrass hill when
we heard gun go off followed by
series of yells and whoops. Pushing
into the woods a few rods we came upon
an old darky seated on a log with one
pant-leg rolled up. There were four or
five tiny streams of blood running
down. and it was plain enough that
some scattering shot had struck him.
As we reached him a colored boy
about ten years old came out of the
brush with light shotgun in his
hands, and the old man looked up and
said:
Julius. look heah? You has done
shot your fadder in de legr'
''Why, pap, dun 'sposed you was q
rabbit l seed sunthin' movin' in de
brush, an blazed away
" Zactly, julius correspond. You
dun took an ole nigger weighin' 180
pounds fur little rabbit bout foot
long an jist big nuf to make soup fur
one! Julius, Ize gwine to show you de
difference between q rabbit an yeIr
fadder!''
He had been cutting green limb as
he talked, and when he finished he
took the boy by the collar and played
the ''bud' to him until the young man
jumped two feet high and sung out like
q Salvation army band. By and by we
gently interfcrred to prevent further
punishment, and the old man held the
boy off and asked:
Julius. does you see me?"
''Yes, faddcr."
Does you know me frum a rabbit"
s'Yes."
'.Den you start for hum an pick up
dat hoe an make dat co nfield ache, an
de mex time you 60 huntin' you holler
off yer mouf befo' you shoot off your
gun! Gem'len, good mawnin', an
please 'scuse dis little disrupshun.
Detroit Free Press.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19

II see" said the Pretzel, to one Of
Chicagos popular druggists, that some
Of our millionaires are enjoying life
upon the lakes with their yatchts,
while others are working diligently,
cQmpounding drugs to save 1ife.h
YES" replied Mr.. Dale, sssuch is
the case and ] intend to take . little
recreation Of the same kind myself In
the near FUTURE
Have .you yatchtF' asked the
Pretzel.
boat, though. .
ss!ndeed. !"
ssYcs, and one that I can handlesn
n is steam vQsselp''
:A)h, no. IL ! PeruviQs heyt, -
Naelenal Wsekly.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
Cutting and the Mexican ImbrOglfo


An American newspaper correspondent
saw Cutting in the Jail at Paso del Norte.
Mexico.
II asked him, he says, particularly as
to his alleged circulation personally in Mex
leo Of the article complained OF. He re-
piled: Upon going over to the Mexican
side on the morning of publication, l
had in my pocket a copy OF the paper
FL Sentinel. | entered q corner cafe kept
by friend of mine and casually handed
him paper, the only one l had. This is
the very truth OF the story ofmy circulating
great numbers of the papers in Paso del
Eorte.' | asked Cutting whether he intend
ed to appeal his case to the supreme court
OF Chihuahua. He said that his attorney:
a young Mexican student just out of the
law school, had determined to do So"
A dispatch from the city of Mexico says:
Public sentiment here regarding the Cutting
case is still aroused owing largely to the
threats of war from the state OF Texas. In
an interview an European diplomat said:
The United States and Mexico should be al
lowed to settle the cases in dispute. even il
they have to resort to friendly arbitration.
1t is certain that the state OF Chihuahua
has as good a right to her peculiar code as
has France. from which country Chihuahua
took her example. 1t is not likely that tho
United States in a case OF similar kind with
ITtuCe WOulu mdhe q pereuiptOFy uemduu
for the release OF her citizens. The United
States view OF this case will not be the
view OF Europe.
dispatch from Ell Paso, Texas. says:
The impression is gaining ground in El
Paso that the Cutting case will be a sub
iect for diplomatic correspondence for
some months to come, and that mean
while the prisoner will not be released.
The whole disturbance seems to be quietly
settling down.
There has not man in my department
been moved" said Gen. Terry at Chicago
in reference to the report that unusual
activity was the order about the military
posts anent the possible trouble with Mexi
CO. "There is no such thing as prepara-
tions being made for the removal OF troops
to Texas"
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
Advice to q Letter.Writer.

A man whose early opportunities for
learning were few and far between re-
ceived letter the other day from a
young college student, wherein he
spoke of the lares and penates of the
household. The receiver puzzled over
this classical allusion for some time,
and could make nothing out of it. but
finally burst forth as follows: .What
in thunder does the darned fool meanp
'Hares and peanuts!' I may sell pro-
visions, but remember when his stingy
old father was tin peddler-- 'hares
and peanuts. indeed! If he can only
learn to insult people at college, he had
better come home," Moral-It is al
ways well to adapt your letters to tho
intelligence of your correspondents,
Boston TranScrtpt.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19

Tickets Of all descriptions -railroad,
theater, etc-must have . stamp, as
must each page Of the reports Of
meetings, each leaf Of merchants
ledger. day or cashbook, and every
cigar sold singly, which must be de-
livered to the buyer in stamped wrap
per. Sales Of spirits ct wholesale pay
three per cent; gross receipts Of city
railroads, four per cent; public amuse-
ments, two per cent upon the amount
paid for entrance; playing cards. fifty
per cent. RopWlar Scisnee AoMtAly.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.


To shed more light-clean the Tampa
Is 1t true that all WashingtonianA
are capitslistsp
In the case of Jonah, was the fish
willing or unwillingp
The Saturday question: How do you
60 to the ball grounds?
The Fourth of July-historical, bio
graphical, and theatrical.
Are the flies at health resorts inva-
lids and are they benefited by the re-
sOrtP
Is it an affair of sleight-of-h hand for q
young lady to mo- an offer of mar
riage?
Why is the little boy like postage
stamp? He often gets stuck on let
ter.
Picnic-the effort of getting there
gives you royal appetite. Encourage
the picnic.
It's no trick to spend holiday up
roariously. Getting home is where
the joke lies.
Is recount any relation of re-
source, and of what account is poor
count, any wayP
Why did you wind the clock? That
it may 60 on unwinding-that's its bus
mess.
The great question among fishermen
Does that pocket-fask hold out and
give down?
Coarse levity appears lily at we'd
ding. and a worldly face equally out OF
place at funeral.
Men are generally great as they lead
and direct others to work, not from
work done by themselves.
If you cannot honestly obtain all you
want, you have an easy remedy-do
not want so much.
Is intemperance in drinking because
of the amount, the strength, or the eff
feet OF. the goods takenP
Lo, the poor Indian, what would he
have done but for the tribes he tried to
whip, and could not?
Justice, liberty and truth not only
require that we have our rights but
grant others rights to them.
'.The need of money''-no, we want
no stories illustrating that subject. We
can write them ourselves from expert
ence.
One of the requirements for woman
to vote should be the ability to throw u
stone SO as to hit barn three times
out of five.
Bean-bag-toss or pitch the beam
bag. It's jolly fun, and develops skill.
strength, and muscle-very desirable
for girls.
A farmer in New York state calls his
hogs to the tune of Yankee Doodle. A
lumber firm in Wisconsin calls them
with steam whistle.
The Bible revisors did not tamper
with the ten commandments, and they
stand to-day just as binding as they did
in the days of Solomon.
"Pa," said Bobby, sleepily, ''can
ask one more question, it faint fool
ish?" ''Ya-as, one more" ''How much
older is ripe old age than green old
ageP"
A girl in Indiana was going to be
married to Jewell. He changed his
mind and decided not to be her Jewell.
The chances are that that Jewell is not
worth crying over.
Spelling-in the days of the school
masters the spelling of word indicat-
ed its meaning, but now check is
spelled check. whether it pays note,
holds up horses head, marks off the
rows of corn-field, or stops career.
Nouns and verbs are no longer indi-
Gated by their spelling.
1t is said that one of the Pharaohs of
Moses time has come to life again.
Not that he is really alive, but he has
come forth from the grave and become
the personal property of the living. 1t
would take him quite awhile to ''catch
on to all the tricks" of the young
Americas of to-day Chicago Ledger.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19
A Good Reason.

Colonel Bagly Ito Colonel Smith,.
II see you passed Maxey without speak
ing to him. thought that he and you
were the best of friends"
Smith-''We used to be. We roomed
together = long time. you know"
Bagly-"Yes, know, but why did
you fall outP''
Smith--s.We didn't exactly fall out,
but / have no use for him now."
Bagly--s.WhyP'
Smith, . bill collector. ~
Asb0ms0sC Traveller.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1886-08-19

tlsnan,s ~ : fAmiliazay known = ''old Pys's
so. 0A6oaoe Nsus.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1886-02-22
The NEWS.

So much important news has been
received by the Alameda that it can
not all be told intelligibly at once.
Among the matters left for relation
in future issues, are riot at Seattle,
Washington Territory, in connection
with the anti-Chinese movement, and
formidable labor riots in London and
Leicester, England. In the news
given it will be seen that death $
dart has reached several shining
marks in the neighboring republic,
and that the embers of strife in the
East were threatening to burst out
afresh in flames that may enwrap
Europe. Mr.. Gladstone had not
met Parliament with his new Cabinet,
whose democratic complexion was
making it difficult for him to obtain
incumbents for certain distinguished
positions in the Premier's gift. Sugar
is still on the fall, but there is nc
word of further action in Congress
against the treaty.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1886-02-22
GREAT BRITAIN.

The new Cabinet was officially
announced, Feb. 4, as follows:-
Mr.. Gladstone, Prime Minister
and First Lord of Treasury; Sir
Farrer Herschell, Lord High Chan
cellor; Earl Spencer, Lord Presi-
dent of the Council; ii. G. IL.
Childers, Home Secretary; Earl
Rosebery, Secretary for Foreign At
fairs: Earl GRANVILLE, Secretary for
the Colonies Earl Kimberley, Secre-
tary for India; II. Campbell Ban
herman, Secretary for War; Sir
William Vernon Harcourt, Chancel-
lor of the Exchequer; the Marquis
of Ripon, First Lord of the Adj
miralty; j. Chamberlain, President
of Local Government Board; G.. O..
Trevelyan, Secretary for Scotland {;
A. j. Mundell, President of the
Board of Trade; and John Morley,
Chief Secretary for Ireland.
Feb. 5, it was announced that the
Earl of Aberdeen, Lord Lieutenant
of Aberdeenshire, Scotland, had
been appointed Viceroy of Ireland,
and Baron Wolverton, eX-Paymaster
General, Postmaster-General.
Sir Farrar Herschel, Lord High
Chancellor, has been raised to the
peerage. with the title of Baron
Herschell.
A despatch of the 18th says Glad
stone is preparing bill providing
for the appropriation Of land in Ire
land by means of State funds. This
bill will precede the other Irish
measures which the Government in.
tends to present to Parliament. The
discussion of the Home Rule ques-
ton has been postponed until next
session.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1886-02-22
FOREIGN NEWS.
(San Francisco, Feb. 14th, per s.
s. Aldmedd.)
UNITED STATES.

Mrs. Bayard, wife of the Secre-
tary of State, died in Washington a
fortnight later than her daughter,
whose untimely death was recently
reported.
Gen. David Hunter, L. S. A., re-
tired, died suddenly at his residence
in Washington on the 2nd. 1t was
he who issued the famous order on
taking command, in 1862, of the
Department of the South, with head
quarters at Hilton Head, $. c.,
placing Georgia, Florida and South
Carolina under martial law, and
adding: "Slavery and martial law
in free country are altogether in
compatible. The persons of these
States--Georgia, Florida and South
Carolina--heretofore held as slaves,
are therefore declared free" Pre-
sident Lincoln, ten days afterward,
countermanded the order.
Major General Winfield Scott
Hancock died at Governors Island,
n. Y, on Feb. 9th. Had he lived
till the 14th he would have com
pleted his sixty-second year. He
died from a combination of diseases.
Col. +. C.. Kemble, the first editor
of California, and the founder OF
the Ana CaiJornia, died in New
York on Feb. 10th.
Horatio Seymour, Ex-Governor of
New York, died Feb. ~, at Utica,
N. Y, aged 76. He was called the
"War Governor of New York." and
was Democratic candidate for the
Presidency in 1868.
The Providence, Rhode Island
Evening Bulletin of the 3rd and
4th inst, gives full account of the
dedication of Il new and magnificent
masonic temple in that city, and alst
contains fine cuts of the building
and of some of the interior apart
ments. The building has frontage'
of ia, 106 and 95 feet respectively
on three streets, is five stories high
and occupies an area of 800 square
feet. The artistic decorations OF
the interior and the imposing ant
gorgeous symbolism of its diffelen
parts were objects of delighted
amazement TO the thousands of in
vited visitors who filed through thu
building, on the opening evening.
Donald Mcclellan, successful
wooden manufacturer Of San Fran
cisco, died on the 2nd inst. H'
was a native of Scotland and 6.
years of age.
Cancer caused fifteen deaths IL
Boston in a recent week, just hall