Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-19
BRIGHT BITS.

THE proper equipment for a Washington
newspaper reporter consists of integrity. in
telllgence, bicycle and an absence of mod
esty ana money - WIshtngt' N Critic.
a YOUNG lady who went out to skate on the
river,
sat down 80 hard that her hustle did SILVER.
AS sne rose to her feet she said: Really, /
think,
The ice is million degrees colder than the
moor OF the rlnI" -N,rristO1Oa Herald.
AFTER Phil Arm,ur of Chicago had given a
strange beggar half dollar. the man said !:
MANY thanks to you, sir II 1t wasn't for
such bloOdy-heared pirates as Armour |
wouldn't have badto ask for this. Pm hop
ing to live long enoegh to fix him. Bless you,
sir-you are an angel ."-Ohyjstia1t at Work.
CoAoHMAN twle has approached Mrs.
Brown Tor more vages>-What would your
husband say, mem !lf was to ask him for q
raise?
Mrs. Brown twio knows her husbands
financial disposition well, Henry. as never
Indulge in profanity, you must excuse me
from venturing an Expression on that subject
- Wdshsn0toaI CrNc.
John" exclaimed Mrs. Binks, ''httIe Will
lie says he saw you with your arms around
the cook this morning"
We'll, my dear. saw an article in the pa
pers yesterday abfat waste in the Kitchen
and was simply Investigating the matter"
''What? Waste n the kitchen?'
'fes. Waist in the kitchen. "-Chicd0o Tri-
6une.
SCENE at an eviring party: Mr.. Mildman
meets and conveBes with a lady he has seen
before, but he cainot recall her name Thew
talk a while; he kinks he has identified her
AS she is turninarom him she says, with an
arch smile: ''Yd don't know who | ann
"Oh,yes," said hf you are Mrs. MacIntyre."
There" she replied. II was sure you didn't
remember me; bt never mind, | am glad to
be taken for Mrs. &C Intyre for she is 80 beau
tiful. am Mrs. Sleeper" "Ohw said he,
Il beg pardon, BIT don't tell Mrs. MacIntyre
of the mistake Imade ."--Shoe and Leather
Reporter.
81 WISH you we're good and helpful around
the house like hrs. Jones' husband" said
Mrs. Smith,
''That drunken ellow Jones?"
Eyes, that dranhen fellow Jones. He's kind
to his wife. anyhow SO he is. He helps her on
washdays ever so ouch -
"Oh, he does, doe heP'
'Yes, he does. dQes he? The other ,iay Mrs.
Jones was telling he that he didn't have any
money TO get drink with aud he took some
OF the clothes and pu them in soak, and that's
more IMAM you'd ever do for me, SO it is.'
And Smith just sat att grinned.
A MATTER of busines,-Mrs de Goode-Ohl
Mr.. oe Blank! you cdtainly don't mean to
say that you attended be American opera in
Cincinnati, and you lember of our denomi-
nationp
Mr.. de Blank-whI madam. was not
aware that music had len Interdicted.
"Music? oh! that isll right, of course but
hear that the Ameridn opera has a ballet"
True, 1 had forgotth about that; but then
you know should besonsidered an excep-
ton, because l am an rUist."
IAN artist? Why, thought you were in the
iron business"
II am, but do alihe designing for our
firm"
"Ireally cannot u9erstand-what do you
manufacture principlyP"
''Tongs. n-OmGhd brId.
DOWN on the List.-Happy Father (bustling
aboutl-Ah, Mr.. Penl, so you came to report
my daughters weddgS
Pencll-Yes, havdust been looking over
the presents.
"Don't forget to bention the checks, but
perhaps you did not be them. l will give
you the figures, 81 2, 67l, 9.S29."
"Thanks, from rel ives, of course, but see
you don't wish any Itnes mentioned"
One Hour Later.Iappy Father (still bust
ling aboutl-My dighter. don't forget to
have Alfred make sie that the baggage is al
right.
Daughter-Yes, btdear me, where are the
checks?
Here they are; phpare them and make
sure that the numtfs correspond with those
on the trunks; fires are 1,54S, 1871 and
q 800 ',-Otn0b0 VOL