Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-27
BRIGHT BITS.

AS A CURE for Socialism and Nihilism. wine
OF cochlcum goes right to the spot,-NoyriS-
t11cn Herdld.
AFTER change of government three felons
recclvei a free pardon. On receiving intima-
ton # the fact one OF them spoke up: ''Why,
what have we done, | should like TO know,
that we should he turned off like this in the
middle of winter"'- FUegende BIaetter.
81 UNDERSTAND our friend Miss Highnote is
singing with considerable success ir~south
America"
is, Ell? Glad to hear it,"
THAT she is singing?"
"Yes-in South America. "-Tyd- Btu.
IN a review of Mr.. Fred Kilton's Dickens
lana lie Temps recalls attention to the ia
mons hlunder of grave German critic, who
sald; y order to prove the absurd irTPgu-
larlues OF English Dronunc iation il will suffice
10 state that the word Boz is pronounced
Dickens"
L. ami :. w. RAIL ERY-Precise Old Lady
TO Porterl-Porter, is this a smoking car
riage?
Kollicking Porter .fconfdentially) - No,
mum. hut If YOU wants to have a Whit on the
quiet, III square it with the guard for you.
h"lds out ms hand Tor fee; old lady puts
tract in it. Sold. -Aoonshine.
THE Field investigation brought ont two in
terestlng points, that CYRUS W. Field never
violated Jaw. human or divine. and that
Charles 2. Clark's COZ science stood in the wav
OF his becoming Wall street million aire In
=
language of the historians of the civil war
was worth all the blood and treasure il COST
Boston Past.
THE other morning at the Tomhs, before one
OF our most courteous Police Justices. a war
of words waved hot and furious between two
distinguished lawyers of that locality. Sir"
founded liar" .eFt
Isl, sir responded the other, ''yOu are an in
Gentlemen. gentlemen" entreated the
courteous Judge, 'you win kindly address,
your observations to the cOurt."-NelS York
Sun.
"IF YOU are quiet, honest citizen Of New
ork how did these skeleton keys and brass
knuckles happen to be found in your pants
pockeis?' asked Judge Duffy Of hard look
ing case.
pants?" asked the prisoner incredulously.
"l on know v ~ well that they were."
well, Judge. the only explanation can
offer is That during the scuffie me and the po-
liceman who arrested me must have changed
pants. We were very much excited at the
time."-BOstOn Post
Now VINO GAVE TEE ADvlCE2 Patient ito
doctOrJ-I have touch Of ague.
Physieian-Yes, sir.
Pauent--I shall keep within doors for 8
week.
Physician-Yes, sir.
Patient-Shall dietmyself carefully.
Phvslcian-Yes, sir.
PatiPnt-I shall take ten grains of ouinfne
twice q dav.
Physician-Yes. sir.
Pahent--How much is your bill?
Physician-Hah guinea.-Paach.
A FLORIDA girl has written an open letter
to Jones, The love-sck senator. wanting to
know why he has gone to frozen Michigan ito
waste his virgin affections upon the marble
heart OF an unresp0nsive woman. Let him
RETURN" says she, "to his own sunny land Of
flowers and bananas where mock ng hi rds
ever sing in the magnolia and lemon trees
VIII re the soft air is laden with Odor and
orange flowers. Why does he. turn away
from us, his own sisters of the bafmy and lam
guild South. who long for his kisses? Come
back! Come back! Oh, Jonesey, you old
fool, come back n'-EechdRge.
TUE delights of summer travel in the wilds
OF Dakota are augmented b the al ition ~
cyclone pits TO the sod hostelries Of that well
ventilated region. Heretofore guests have
been OBJ iged 10 do their own Watching for
approaching tOrnaloes. but under the new
system thev can sleep as soundly as prior
claimants VIII permit. secure in the knowl-
edge that, by an electrical Arrangement. they
VIII be dumped into subterran"an passages
on the first indications of trouble This in
ducement will cause numerous influx of Sem
atorlal asp'rants w1o have been deferred
from gong there by rea-Ons Of purely per
sonal nature.-FAica0p MOrnjDq Ve,cs.