New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-12
THE QUEENS GLASGOW UMBRELLA.

THE QUEENS GLASGOW UMBRELLA'
Never again can Glasgow hope to stand
well with the admirers of Queen Victoria.
For last week ignoring alike Her Majesty S
sex. station and worth, Glasgow in cold anu
clammy blood did its best TO wreck her ner-
yous system. The cable dispatches give but
AN inadequate account OF the outrage. Here
is the fullest report that has come under our
eyes
Her Majesty presented few days ago with specially
made umbrella from Glasgow handle round globe
of ne gold the world studded over with precious
stones to represent Her Majesty's dpmnions
On the first careless reading these few lines
perhaps fail to convey the impression that the
Queen has been subjected by Glasgow to a
cruel indgnity. But let any man sit down ny
himself this evening in the pensiye hush OF
the moon. ght and reflect upon The vital force
not to speak of the language unfit for pub
lication-whch he has often expended In the
effort to keep track of an transformations gin2-
ham umbrella with severely plain pine handle
and he will have borne in upon him sense
of the agonzing responsibility that must go
with the possession of "a specially made UNI
brella" fashioned, of course from specially
made silk and having for handle ga round
globe of fine gold studded over with precious
stones"
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
We should say SO Think of the Queens beng
forced to reflect night after night as her head
touches her pillow that the gorgeous Glasgow
umbrella is standing in the hall-rack down.
stairs while likely as not the man has forgotten
to lock the back-door Of the palace. Possibly
Glasgow will try to laugh the matter Off a
municipality capable Of inilicting that sort Of
IN umbrella on most estimable and entirely
inoffensve sovereign who never laid straw
in its way, may logically be expected to take
brazenly jocosc view Of its conduct. But
it is no laughing matter, as Glasgow is sure
to discover if ever again she pIcSumes to Oiier
testimonial to Victoria. In that event the
Queen with eyes all Indignation and memory
all umbrella, will pontcdly decline the prof
fcrcd present with the exclamation, Timeo
Daneas ct dOnd terentes I've had all the
Glasgow umbrellas | can stand"
What effect this umbrella is to have upon
The present crisis in English public affairs re-
mains to be seen. 1t ought to DC ameliorat-
ing. For whatever their political differences
the hearts of Liberals and Tories can bc de-
pended UPON chivalrously to beat as one III
cxccration Of an umbrella that cannot but
give the Queen acute insomnia. We are
aw are that the wrctched lady finding her rest
constantly broken can send to the nearest
druggist for choral or can command one oil
her lades-in-w waiting TO read her the Parlla-
mentary debates. But it is not to be expected
that even these opiatcs will succeed IN keep
r.g her eyes shut. Ever and anon she Will
start from her couch. protesting,
Methought heard a cry. Sleep more
Glasgow doth murder sleep.-Won't one OF you
Ladies please sep down into tho hall
And see If that umbrella still is therel
And Glasgow's offence looks additionally
henous when one reflects that there was no
reason in the world why she should have
forced this narrowing umbrella upon the
Queen. The Glasgow shops are full of things
that while very acceptable to a lady OF taste,
arc not sources of toImenting anxiety. Why
then, if Glasgows intentions were honorable
did not the present take the shape OF pair
of roller skates 7 Or an accordion 7 Or an
illustrated copy edition de luxe of the rules
Of progressive euchrcf Or a dcmilOhn (thc
handle could have been "a round globe Of
Tine gold studded over with precious stones y
of superior Scotch whiskcy-for medicinal pur-
poses Or a-but there is no occasion further
to partcularizc. 1t is to be hoped that Glas
cow is spending to-day in sacbcloth and ashes
and in preparing contrlte note to the Queen