The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-04-01
THE PRESS.
WIT AND WISDOM.

sWell, Mr.. Talmadge is certainly wrong for
once" said Mrs Snaggs, looking up from reading
that gentleman'S sermon.
How So my dear?" asked her husband.
''Why, he says there are no perfect men,
"And you think you found one when you mar
%e ddpn wss the qscf epy But
know there was perfect man once, and his name
was Mark" ..or;.t
'Mark?" repeated MIR. SnaggS, III dsUonlSi-
Eyes, Mark, for sthe Bible distinctly speaks of
Mark the perfect man."
Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod LN-
er Oil with HypophosPhites. Is pre-
seribed by physicians all over the world. 1t is
remarkable remedy for Consumption, Scroftda
and wasting diseases, and is very palatable.
Attendant to employer-"AI Sniff, sah is
Emplcyer-aTeH Mr.. Smith that left for Buf-
Attendant to Mr. Smith-"De gemman done lef
fo' Buffalo, dis mawnin', sah.'
Mr. Smith-"Are you sure? understood that
he had postponed his trip to Buffalo until next
Attendant-"well. I'll ak him again, sab, but
Use dead sartaln OATS what he tole me-"
Backache is almost Immediately relieved by
wearing one of Carters Smart Weed and Bella
donna Backache Plasters. Try one and be free
IrOH pdlh ILlcS 20 SSilIo'
1t is narrated that verylpretty, butnot an over
highly intellectual literary Western girl met Mr.
William Dean Howells for the first time the other
talk, asked him for his autograph, MI. H. as
sented willingly and wrote very witty verse TO
ssAh MIR Howellsp she exclaimed girly-girli-
onsly, "how sweet Is it originate
s'0h yes," he replied, smiling benignantly
sYou don't say? Well, should think you would
write something for the newspapers or the maya
zines. I've seen lots of worse things than TINS IN
print"
More cases of sick headache, biliousness, con-
stipation, &C., can be cured in less time, with less
medicine, and for less money, by using Carriers
Little Liver Pills, than by any other means.
my DEAR said Mrs. Snag to her husband this
morning, 81 don't think know your friend Mr..
Pott, do ~"
'Pott2', asked Mr.: snaggs, in surprise
eyes, Mr.. John Pott.p
John Pott? 1 don't know anybody OF that
ooh you surely must know him very well, for
you talked about him in your sleep last ngnt, ana
called him Jack as though you had know MIN all
S"Jaek Pott! All must have been dreaming
about a school mate of my boyhood days had
And Snags went down town cogitating on what
a narrow escape he had.
NO Otu6I Itulcuy Ids oO Al1lllJ BSltuAAC tS0OAAA0
malls as yegetine, the great blood purifier.
s'As for me- hope to be cremated made
that remark to my pastor once, who said, with
what he seemed to think was an impressive man
i wouldn't worry about that if 1 had your
chances, MARK Twain.
81 am selling your rheumatism and neuralgia
-Athlophoros, and it is doing lots OF good.
The sales are increasing Druggist George F.
Smith writes imam encouraging strain from Sears
port, Maine, concerning Athlophoros good work
in Maine
III Buffalo household in ''AIikado" is a favorite
composition little girl came down stairs the 9TH
er day and asked her aunt what dreadful things
she supposed her still younger sister put IN her
prayers. The aunt expressed her inability TO con-
lecture. and the shocked little maiden replied:
"She says; "0h, Lord, bless the flowers that
bloom in the spring."