The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-01-21
THE MERRY SlDEl


The English sparrows sound little hoarse.
but they're still with US.
Every fully bearded man wore an Arctic Cir
Gle around his mouth last week.
Song of the Cincinnati Democrats "It's a
cold day when we go to Columbus!'
A shout from the grave: The Democrat C
voting for Thurman, for Senator.
1.-TWO soles with but single thaw't!' said he,
as they both planted their feet upon the fender.
The Two Sams-Jones and Smsll-have
reached Cincinnati, and begun their meetings.
We must confess that we never believed
Henry B Payne guilty-until we saw his pic
lure.
The lower House of the Ohio Legislature can
cut off the top of a about as quick as
thought.
The Hamilton County Members of the House
discovered the pins in those chairs, in very
short time.
1t is noticeable feature of Legislative ex-
perience that big mouth is not an indication
of brains.
Minnie Dishner, of Nebraska, has just awak-
ened from seventy days sleep. Minnie must
be Democrat
An exchange says "Sam. Jones can melt the
hearts of humanity. But don'the have TO melt
their heads first?
What hope could the Democratic pretender rs
from Hamilton county have? Their claims
were based on 0.
The Democrats want to try their hands on
"coast defenses." They must do better than
they did in go and 81.
A lady was so much fatigued at the inaugura-
tion of Fitz Hugh Lee, that she tainted. Every
body felt little sick.
The last official act of Gov. Hoadly was to
pardon penitentiary convict. The Governor
stood by his party to the last
Myers wouldn' lecture at South Charleston,
from some cause. Many thought it was be-
cause the people wouldn't come.
The attention of an anxious Nation is tenn.
porarily diverted from the Ohio canals, to the
silver question in Congress.
An Ohio woman smiled and tried to look
pretty, last week, and her face froze in thai
shape and now her brute of a husband has left
her.
The Ohio House of Representatives should
present Johnston and Shepard with couple of
white robes. They are liable to be translated al
any time.
ID l~I;o ctr fF1T
the ballot-boxes in Cincinnati. So they did
were all legal votes.
Sullivan has put off whipping Paddy Ryan
because Paddy's mother died a few days ago
and the poor boy is completely knocked out.
The Democratic pretcnders from Hamilton
county should write a book, entitled "Nine by
Seven, or Twenty-four Hours in the Legisla
ture."
The Ohio papers want Senator Pay ne to cal
for an Investigation. But you don't come that
gentlemen. The old man has been investigated
enough already.
A Pennsylvania woman wants Congress t.
establish the office of Poet Laureate. What
the use, when five hundred free poems appea
to celebrate every great event?
+.+
A red-hot cook-stove exploded in Columbus
Husbands should make note of this, and per
NIT fires to be built only by those who under
stand the cook-stoves.
The Kentucky Legislature adjourned &C
count of cold. When the Kentucky Legisla
ture, with all it's facilities for keeping warm
gets frozen out, it is time to emigrate.
"George," !" said an old man, reading the paper
81 see the Democratic members took their seat
at Columbus"
was the reply.
In responding to toast at the 'St. jackson
Banquet" Mr.. Watterson said "Let us pass or
for Gods sake let us pass on! All right, frieI ds
we haven't the least objection
+.+
A correspondent discovered Ben. Bristow il
New York, the other day. 1t was feared tha
Ben. had been stuffed and put away, as a reli
of reform.
A Boston Democratic paper says ''the futur
of Massachusetts belongs to the Democrat
party" Democratic hope is always in tn
future.
Senator Payne's business shrewdness. Donavi
says he paid as high as FIVE thousand dollar
for Democratic votes.
The further into the earth you dig, the hottie
the temperature. The Ironton gas well is owe
two thousand feet, and still going. Would
be profane to ask where it is going to?
Ex-Gov. Curtin of Pennsylvania, is mad be
Committee on Foreign Affairs. He don't fame
being rop-Curtain for the Democratic show
The cold wave may have seemed incompre
hensible to some, but they understood it 8
Columbus. 1t was the election of John Shel
man that caused the iciness.
"Hand me that bottle o. hartshorn," said tn
old gentleman, as he vainly attempted to blow
his nose.
.Hartshorn !" replied the old lady, "Oh, yo
ignorant man! That's pneumonia!'
At Springfield they sunk gaS-wel1 twenty
seven hundred feet-when they got scared an
quit. They struck a vein of hot sulphur, an
thought they had gone far enough in that d
rection.
The preacher told them, in the morn ing Sc
vice, that ''the spirit is willing but the flesh
weak,'' and they believed it. But when the
tackled the beefsteak for dinner they idn't bt
| lieve q word of it.
| A Chicago dentist brought his apparently
dead wife back to life by swinging her arm
| They tried to stop him, but he he had Ion
known that the swing of that arm meant SOM
thing.
A Marietta man, conscience-stricken offere
to turn over musket he got from the State i
'63, to fight Morgan with. The Adjutant-Gel
eral wouldn't have it. He wants the Marlet
man to keep it, and shoot it-and kill himsel
A. S. Powell, young Tennessean, has sue
Miss Maggie Flowers, Kentucky belle, for te
thousand dollars because she wouldn't mar
him. If Maggie has the money, she'll find
cheap 10 escape him at that price.
A man at Washington G. H. was hard
hearing, and had his ears tied up to shield the
from the cold then what do you think he die
Why got on the raiIroad to take a walk,