The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-10-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

The new reporter who had had experience as a
rural correspondent rushed in to inform his cnlet
that he had the facts of very important murder
man shot.
WHO was the MINT" asked the chief
81 didn't get his name"
''Who shot him2"
81 don't know"
what was the cause of the shooting?"
II didn't learn
"You got the facts of the case did you?"
eyes the important ones. l learned that the
pistol was self-acting revolver OF the bulioos
pattern. 81 callber.
DR. Bulls Cough Syrup never fails to cure
cough or cold in a short time Give it a fair trial.
Mr.. ]. Thomas, (of Thomas & Co.. Real Estate
Brokers) 81 Saratoga Street, Baltimore, Nd, in
dorses emphatically Salvation Oil for neuralgia.
A telegraph operator in Milwaukee was one day
trying to call up an office in small town in the
interior of the State, where the instrument was
presided over by woman. He was about giving
up in despair when the operator in another small
town few miles distant from the first licked out
the query-"What in heavens name do yol
II want Miss Brown at Burgville,' replied the
Milwaukee man u have been trying to get her
"That is nothing" came the reply. ''There is a
young fellow clerking in dry goods store there tnere
who has been trying to get her for the last three
years, and he has not succeeded yet. DO not get
discouraged"
t'Stfe
Cough Killer to take on retiring when was har-
raised with cough and wanted an undsturbed
refreshing sleep.-Robert Cushman, Pawtucket
RI.
pbgsic is necessary at times for bIliousness
costiveness, sc. Use DR.. Arnold's Bilious Pills,
25cents
A woman. who had very religious husband.
was at the breakfast table one morning when her
husbands prayer was longer drawn out IMAM
usual A suspicious smell of overdone biscuits
waited slowly but surely 9wr and hfF
her biscuits and, at last, when her husband StdI
ed off afresh new tack, to which there seemed
ssIord john cut it short, I've bread in the oVen
Try Carriers Little Nerve Pills for any case of
nervousness. sleeplessness, weak stomach, ind-
gestion dyspepsia. &C., relief is sure. The only
| nerve medicine for the price in market. In walls
| at % cents. !
| Little Tommy has a very peryerse disposition
fact which the doctor, Who was called to pre-
| scribe a course of treatment for him recently
| seems to have taken fully into account; When
| the doctor called two weeks after ne had toi9
| Tommy what to do in order to get well, he found
| the boy plainly very much better.
well how are y9u Tommy z, tne doctor a Sif
"That's very good I'm sure" ~ +,,,.,.
| eyes, but didn't do single one OF the thlngS
| you told me to do, doctorip ,,,,.
| "Of course you didn't | knew you wouldn't
| and that's the reason told you to DO them, salo
the doctor.
When Baby oss sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she uss = Child, she cried for Castoria,
When sho became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria
| GLOW is it none of my contributions are eve
| used?" said woud-be contributor of the editor
"You must be mistaken Do you write on ON
side of the paper only?"
| Certainly
"Then it's all right. We write our editorials OF
the blank side. Never be afraid of your contrlDu
lions not being used"
If you are tired taking the large old-fasmone'
gripping pills, try Carriers Little Liver PMS an
take some comfort. A man can't stand every
thing. One pill dose.
| Young Mother-The doctor says we ihuSo so
| milk from one COW for the baby. 5re
Milkman-Yessum. I've plenty OF Sucn oi ii ;
Y. M.-The baby isn't looking well, neI sh i a.
| getting real dark, and the doctor says Its hiiAo
| milk.
| M.-YeSsum. .-,i.
Y M-Wel be sure to bring milk from whl'
| cow Won know