The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-01-27
PJJNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Well connectcd-A train of cars.
Preferred creditors Those who will
not dun. .+fs
A miser in the middle of his wealth is
like fly in molasses that can't get out.
1t shows great family affection when .
man continues to draw his pension several
years after his death.
When an impecunious man marries an
heiress he celebrates his golden wedding
on the start-iNareriek.
Appropriate sign for church in need Of
musicians: Wanted-singers; in choir
within.-Hot Springs Nesos.
Jones must have been pretty sea-sick
going to Europe when he threw up his
engagement with his girl.-LopsU
Citizen.
Though musician may move in the
best society, he is still on terms of the
closest intimacy with all of the sharps.--
Lor6ury Aduocate.
Letting boil pursue its course
Is Like tracing river to Its source,
Though each may prove quite troublesome,
At last unto head they come.
st. Paul Herald.
Rabbits are selling for fifteen cents
each in Sussex county, New Jersey. For
ninety cents there the amateur sportsmen
can have good deal Of sport.-somsr.
oils Journal.
A man never appreciates how suprcme-
ly blessed a married life is until he has
to hold the baby while his wife works
pair of braces for the new minister
Fall Rirer Adcanee.
Sam Jones says: ''Live so your ehil-
dren may put their feet in your tracks
and be honorable" That is, don't walk
all over the road on the way home nights.
Rochester Post Express. .
A tramp Wen tinto house in Missouri
and spit on the parlor carpet. The
woman was sick in bed, but she got up
and broke his collar-bone aud ran him TO
the woods.-.St. Louis Post. ......,.
A new kind of cheese is made, which
is said to appeal strongly to mans inn
agination. That may be so, but we
never heard q mans nose called by that
name before. York Graphic.
He's a rude ignoralnus;; an unpublished chura
Who says It defend him who will,
That sealskin sacque looks on corpulens
AS il on the seal it were still.
Boston Courier.
It is said that the real name of Step
MAX the nihilist writer, is Krawtschinsky.
A name like that could never 60 ''thu-
dering down the ages" it would have TO-
stop and snceze too often.-Haryord
Post. ..~.-
The best time for q young man to take
his girl sleighing is during driving
snow storm" lie can use both his arms
to hold his girl in the sleigh, and let tho
snow storm do the ''driving."-Norris-
toun Herald.
"You arc growing fat" said West
Lvnncr to his grocer. "How much 90
you weigh?" ''Oh, that depends on
business. Some days weigh a ton, and
some days I don't weigh much OF any
thing. ."-Lynn Item.
Outside of a minister's tent, in Idaho,
a rcd-shirted man was searching for MS
tin cup. Not finding it, he observed:
s.Somc Internal thief has stolen my cup"
Then sticking his head into the tent, NO
asked: "Any OF you gentlemen got it3"
Puck.
Butcher Ito lady with dog in her
arms)-"What will it be this evenln',
mum?" Lady-''Send pound and a
half of calves liver in time for break.
fast, and-let me see, Carlo wons
eat liver-and half a pound OF porter
house steak. ."-LJe.
Tom Dickson is d San Antonia youth.
of about seventeen who has not yet grown
! q mustache He is also very small phys-
ically. He has been paying considerable
attention to IL young lady and finally no
proposed: Miss Mary, love you, y ne
said. sinking down on his knees, "Ion
had better speak with your pa and see II
he will give his consent" was the cutting
rcply.-iSytings.
The choir had kindly volunteered to
sing the favorite hymns of the members
of the congregation. Each was requested
to write his choice on slip of paper and
hand it in. Easily recognized as tho
chirography of the butcher, was we
shall meat on that beautiful shore.
The opulcnt plumber chose, "All Tor mo
The favorite of the baker was, 81 kneao
thee. every hour" The young. lawyer
who had Just hung out sign for which
the painter was dunning him, handec y.
lust as I am. without one plea. Sam,
! the .Sruranouch.