Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-26
BRIGHT 81 Is.

PoEr-"De you want any of my blank
verse?' -
NO. we don't want any of your - verse;"
-7eDGS SiTtt0Gs.
AT restaurant: Native of Great Britain
-Garsong! Waiter-Yes, sir. Waiter-Ox-
TaIl pour du ct DON sole frte. Natlve-Two
oxtais and fried sole? Any pertaters.-Judy.
MISS NELLIE, an enthusiastic dog fancer-
Is that charming little bobtail yours, mon
sieur?"
Monsieur-Oh, no, madamoiselle; Eat ees re
dog's."-LJe.
WAIrER-I beg your pardon, sir. but it's
O'Clock. sir.n
Caveiy (who has lost himself little)-
WbatSh is it, waiter thicl yeshterday'r tmor-
rer?-7id- Bits.
WAS sorry to learn, Robinson, that you
and your wife have recently sustained
heavy loss.
robinson with feeling)-Yes, the old lady
must have weighed over $50 pounds Life.
IT'S time to be jolly and glad.
IT'S time to be merry and wise;
But The man who keeps wise while he's merry,
Is wonderful thing in our eyes.
lid Bits.
"OH, CLARA" said Maud, 'Charlie took me
drove.''
WHAT was the matter with Charlie?"
"Stupid! He couldn't drive with his teeth,
could he|'-At4o York Sun.
DIR. GLoBULE-I can't find any organic trou-
Bile. and yet here's your pulse at 100; any sud-
den hocR lately?"
Mr.. MarGin-Well, rather! l am a thousand
shares long Of New York and New England
at is, and my pulse is trying to average it, L
guess.-B2 stOR Beacon.
A WOMAN will tell her friend that her bon
net doesn't fiji, that her photograph flatters
her. that her new dress wants iaking in in
the waist, or letting out in The bustle, but no
woman viii ever tell, even her btterest enc
my, that her baby is anything but absolute
peTiectlon.--Sda francisco ChrORicEe.
Young SwIFT--Ahem! I-a-that is, Uncle
John, lathe truth is / am in a bad way.
Uncle John who won't underst and)-Bad
way. Ell? knew it. Not enough exercise
too late hours-shortness of breath-hectic
flushes.
Young Swift (desperately,-No Shortness
of money--bob-tail 1ushes.-Rdm6Ler.
FIRST CHAPPIE-I say, Smythe, old chappie,
howdy do?
Second Chappie-Aw, don't call me Smythe,
y know; call me Smith.
First Chappie-Bu., bah Jove. your name
was Smythe.
Second Chappie--Yaas, but changed it to
Smith. Smythe is too doocld common. DON'T
cherknow.-LiIe.
"MAMMA," said an innocent of years old !,
when l grow to be a woman will l get mar
ried and have wedding?"
II hope SO, my dear. Why do you ask ''
said mother.
because, mamma. shan't ask you to my
wedding"
MOP Why not, Mamie?'
"Whv, mamma, you didn't ask me to
yours -Fhilddetlhia eau.
my DEAR FRIEND" said a minister at the
bedside of a sick man. Il want to call your
attention to the blessed consolation which re-
ligion brings in hours of suffering and danger
to those"
ppm much obliged to you," lnterposed the
grateful patient, but you are too late"
"Too later"
Eyes, sir; my physician says that the crisis
is past. and that all danger ia over.--ED-
change.
ut vhas all owing to some shtrikes in nv
shop" explained a Wisconsin wagon maker
who had gone 10 the wall.
"Then your men struckP'
"Eafery one OF 'em, and dots what ruined
me
what did they wantn'
"Vell, l dosn' pay 'em for three months.
und dey shump on me for der money I
doesn' hat it, und vhas gone oop like some
ballons." VAL Street NeIeS.
| He was young man who had been talking
| loudly OF his fatner's riches and his own pros
| poets, when an old woman leaned over the
| seat and asked:
young man, did you say your paw was
ricn?"
Eyes mann"
Hell be apt to found some charity, won't
he?"
II think so.'
"sertled on anything YETI"
mo. MAN."
"Then please call his attention to an idiot
| asylum Wan Street NeqoS.