The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-08-12
WHOLE NO. 1913
WASHINGTON, Aug, 3.,-W. L. Stone
was appointed postmaster at Y. q.
Tenn, to-day

OF the country and the ugliness of the
women.
Eat plenty of cucumbers, green
fruit and watermelons, and you will
cease suffering with the heat-at least
in this world
There are words that concentrate
in themselves the glory of lifetime
but there is silence that is more pre-
cious than they
at is fashionable to wear your hair
high this summer" as the young lady
said when her wig was torn off by an
overhanging bough.
Fogg "What are you doing nowT'
Boggs; 81 am now on the boards"
Fogg "Whatl Acting% Boggs:
"No; driving lumber wagon"
Charming little pink-tipped, she'll
like ears you have, Miss Totty. Did
you never have them pierced2" "No;
but / have had them bored"
1t is said that Henry Ward Beecher
is to be the hero of novel which
member of his congregation is writing
Mr.. Beecher can never be made as in
teresting in a novel as he is out of it.
Mash.-Masher: Excuse me, Miss
Sharp: had quite forgotten you.
am so absent-minded, don't cher
know" Miss Sharp; eyes, lave
noticed the absence of mind"
AT an evening party lady was call
ed upon for a song, and began, an
strike again my tuneful Tyre" Her
husband was observed to dodge sud-
denly and start hurriedly from the
room, exclaiming: "Not if / know it,
she won't"
Some one has invented a new kind
of ink, called love-letter INK 1t is
sure preventative against all cases
Of "breach of promise" as the ink
fades away and leaves the sheet blank
about four weeks after having been
written upon.
Minister Pendleton's daughter is
fast regaining her health, which was
SO much impaired at the time of her
mothers tragical death. At latest
advices father and daughter were at
Homburg, near Frankfort-on-the-
Main.
The record of the present Congress
fills eight thousand six hundred and
thirty printed pages, not including
the indexes and the appnedix. This
exceeds by about five hundred pages
the record Of any preceding session OF
| Congress,
promise me that you won't stay
out tonight, my love-" she pleaded,
as he prepared to go. He promised
"Why in mischief didn't make her
promise not to keep me out to-night?'
lie muttered, six hours later, vainly
prowling around the house for an
opening.
He (at the balD ~ am going to
propose, Miss Edith" She (inter-
rupting): ooh, my Mr.. Jenkins, 81
sudden, and in such strange placeP
He desperately: II am going to pro
. pose that we stay here when the res
go to supper, because-because-I'v'
. left my purse at home"
A Frenchman who had incurred the
anger of his wife, terrible virago
sought refuge under the bed "Com,
out Of that, you brigand, you rascal
e you assassin" screamed his gentl,
e companion. "No, madame" he re
y piled calmly II won't come out.
5 am going TO show you that / shall d
p as please in my own housep'
" : There is undoubted Joy in the fami
# ly Of Mrs. Hattie Sutherland, Of Mas
. sachusetts, who has just recovered tn
# power of speech, which she suddenl
IS lost four years ago And yet an III
"a generous thought will occur TO man
70 married man when he reads of tn
circumstance.
Moncare ID. Conway has prepared
u lecture entitled adams Third Wife,
;, 1t begins with "sex mythology" an
Nv ends with discussion of the America
woman of to-day and tomorrow,
=, Mr.. Conway has undertaken to d
VI scribe woman as she will be to-mo
Q row he will be hooted off the platforr
'o Ask any married man what he thinl
er of such foolhardinessl
o. "How burnt your face and lips a
by the sun" said young Crinsombes
to Miss Fussanfeather the other eve
he ing while calling.
ed "Yes,I am frightfully burned. VIII
er can l do for it?"
ho "Why don't you try cold creamp
ou "Well, l don't care if I do.
d: take chocolate and vanilla"
W, And before the imprudent YOU