Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-11-10
NEWSPAPER WIT.

EWSPAPER WIT.
"SoME men are born great" Yes
but gracious! how soma of them dc
shrink. New Haven News.
A PARTY question-"What time dc
you think they will have supper ?''-
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
A CORRESPONDENT writes to ask
what age has done the most for jour
nalism. You can't ''stick" us on that,
friend. The mucilage, by long Odds
YOnkers Statesman.
OF eighty girls who landed at Castle
Garden the other day fifty-two were
red-headed. When even foreign ma.
tions begin to paint this country red
it is time to call halt.
eyes," bawled q social orator, 81
am in favor of the early closing move,
ment for the great mass of tOilers. y
"Well, shut up now" yelled q practi-
cal auditor on the floor.
"UGH! it's cold this morning." said
Sniggs to Higgs. ST saw ice on the
sidewalk as / came down town." SIN
Decd" said Higgs, "was it paid for?"
Tableau.-St. Paul Herald.
OLD Mr.. Bently (reading the paper
--"I see that Solomon has been indict-
ed for bigamy." Old Mrs. Bently-
"Well, it's bout time. The idea OF a
man having 700 wives. 1.-The Sun.
"WHY is small boy like wom-
an?" said Hartford man to his
troublesome wife. No response. "Be.
cause he will make man grown, said
the conundrumist.- Times
BABY-A-bwa, a-bwa, a-bwa. Mo-
THEREFORE, boire; what can Charles
Augustus mean? Father-He's going
to be topper, Angelina. Boire is
French for drink. Mother (anxiously)
Oh, wouldn't it be dreadful if Charles
should turn out to be French baby,
and we couldn't understood g. word he
said
EYES," said Mr.. Hendricks to the
minister, 81 am proud of that dog.
Why, he knows the different days OF
the week." Just then the dog began to
run to a gun which stood in the cor.
ner, then back to his master, and WAC
his tail. "He's made mistake this
time, pa" said Bobby; she thinks it's
Sunday Harper's Bazaar.
He referring to painting -''Don't
you think the introduction of one or
two birds would give you a little more
life, Miss Bessie?" She (referring to
lunch) -"How thoughtful of you Mr..
Short, and how delicately you put the
invitation l"-(and he had to run her
over to the nearby hotel and order
broiled quail for two) lid Bits.
In Miss Edith's school, the other
day, the reading lesson contained
some reference to sa ferocious Gaui, 4"
and, desiring TO have the expression
fully understood, she asked it's mean
ing. There was moments silence,
when bright boy arose and re-
sponded: s'Please, ma 'am, it means
a terrible lot of cheek. '-Pittsburs
Chronicle.
LANDLORD Of Hotel-"I see we have
newly-married couple-Mr Hiram
Leeper and bride-but the register
doesn't say where they ale from
Clerk-fI heard him ask her at break
fast this morning: Would you like
some of them molasses, Susie p"
Landlord takes pen and writes est.
Louis" on register opposite their
Chicago Tribune.
LADY docking at Harlem fat)-
The rooms seem very small. Janitor
(frankly) -Yessum, de rooms am
small TO- g. fact. LADY, don't see
how my husband, baby, and I could
ever go to bed in that room. Janitor
-Yo' might do as de other lady an
gemmen did what occerpied de rooms
befo'. Lady-How was that? Jani-
tor-Dey went to bed tandem.-N
York Sun.
"WHEN g. man orders whisky said
Dumley to the bartender, "do you ask
him if he wants 10 or 5 cent goods ?"
"No. I've been in the business long
enough to size q man up without ask,
ing questions. 81 suppose you do
become more or less familiar with hui
man nature, remarked Dumley, as he
selected q Glove. CHOW much do [
owe your" ''Ten cents, please. y
New York Sun.
A New Yorker when in Boston re-
Gently called carriage and told the
driver to take him to "Whisky
straight" 81 don't know any such
place." said the driver. EDon't know
where it is? It's somewhere near Bos-
ton," was the response. "There's GER
tainly no place of that name about
here,'' asseverated the driver. "Well, :"
returned the nonplussed New Yorker,
it's something like that name, any
way. It's some straight drink"
"Oh," exclaimed the driver, perhaps
it is Jamaica Plain!'' and he hit it
right.-BOstOn Post.
Blasting in Coal Mines.