Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-10-13

So away with shadows, away, away
Hal Bcrte in Detroit Free Press.
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A Modest Mans Adventure.
If there is one thing in this world that
l hate more than another it is an even
ing party, whether it take the form of
tea, music, and twaddlc, or come in the
more awkward guisc of n regular dance.
Unfortunately, am short and ill-fa-
vorcd. Indeed, | can well remember
even now the rage and grief which pos
scsscd my youthful mind when discov-
cred that | was called "The Toad" by
my school companions, and how that our
old coachman, who was my ally and
confdant in those days, could find no
better words of consolation than "Nevcr
you mind, Master Jack; you let 'cm talk,
pack of young impcrtnences. What
| say is 'andsomc is as handsome does"
Time has but accentuatcd my many
personal defects, of which | am painfully
conscious, and the result is that l am
shy, gauchc and nervous in society.
One fell and dreadful day mark it, o
Time, with the blackcst letter in thy
calendar) I was invited by my cousins to
esquire them to dancing party at South
Kensington. / made feeble excuses;
they we're ovcrrulcd. l appealed TO my
respected mother; alas! she thinks only
need bringing out to become an enter
aiming ornament to society.
Well, gave in. What would you
have me to do? Ugly as l am, I can't
help seeing that Kate is most pleasing
person. find it difficult 10 say "No"
to any one, and an impossibility in the
case of this lovely cousin OF mine.
Kate and Milliccnt are what are called
"fnc girls" and am not sure that |
did not catch the ghost Of q grin upon
the long list Of flunky faces in the hall
as I stumbled along in my tight boots,
with Kate on my right arm and Milli-
cent on my left, and both of them talk
ing to one another over my head, alas!
The ballroom was long oblong, and
opposite to the end where the musicians
were stationed there was kind of al
cove or bay window, in which was
placed one OF those large circular otto
mans which have cushioned seat all
round, and on top of the lounge re-
ceptacle which is filled with foliage,
plants and dropping ferns. Now, could
anything be more enticing to man of
my retiring disposition3 If could only
get behind that happy ottoman, behold
me blissfully concealed until the gem
eral move to supper should drag me
from my resting place. Fortune favored
me for once. But just as | was begin
ming to realize the pleasantness of my
sccusion and the relief from the shy
ness which assails me in public felt a
most depressing slcepincss creeping over
me-
Imust have slept soundly for some
time, but at last, suddenly, and with a
startled and chilly feeling, l awokc.
Confused at first | could not imagine
where was Or how my ordinary sleeping
attire had become changed into the claw
hammer coat and other male habilimcnts
of evening society. However, as crcpt
round the ottoman, and pecring out from
my corner, saw a wide stretch of white
floor cloth, dimly lighted, before me, and
marked the music stands at the other
end of the room, the dreadful truth
burst in upon me; they had all gone
down to supper. Now in my purturba-
tion at the prospect of going to the abom-
Unable dancing party had been unable
to attack my dinner with my usual
robust appetite. l Twas therefore, raven
ously hungry. Moved by desire to eat
and drink at whatever cost to my con-
stitutional modcsty, and agonizcd at the
fear lest the supper should be over and
the debris thereof cleared away before
could obtain what began to want with
an increasing craving, it struck me that
it would be quite possible for me to
glide into the supper-room among the
servants, who would be constantly going
in and coming out.
! slipped quietly down the stairs, and
soon found myself close TO them. Now
was my opportunity, and was just 60
ing to seize it, when a iicnd in human
shape, waiter in evening dr., IS, pushed
huge dish of Strawberries into my
hands, saying in that unpronounccablc
cockncy twang, "now then Swancy, (my
mother calls my hair auburn) look alivci
Take those yerc Strawberries round
and mind you don't spill EN-"
Not single minutes time was given
me for expostulation or explanation
other walters were pushing on behind ;
and before / could gather my scattered
wits l found myself in the brilliantly
lighted supper room, among the hired
walters, and with an enormous dish OF
fruit in my hands. What was | to doG
l had not moment to decide. The
horror of being seen in such too-ridic-
culous position terrified me, and found
myself handing round the fruit, with a
waitor following me with cream and
sugar. Imagine the awful state of my