Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-11-20
HUMOR.
A BIER garden-the cemetery.
A SPIRIT medium-.a bunghole.

A BIER garden-the cemetery.
A SPIRIT medium-.a bunghole.
LOCOMOTIVES are all light-headed.
ALWAYS ahead-a head, of course.
"ERRoP," said Goldsmith, as ever
t1lkative.' But woman is not an error.
She is b essing. boston Courier
IT is painful fact, but nevertheless
It's true, that little girls of to-day arc
allowed to know too much in regard to
dress. -Peck'S Sun.
AN old lady, being late at church,
entered as the congregation was rising
from prayer. La" said she, curtsy
ing, don get up on my q count. ~
Boston Irdrciicr.
A SOUTHERN newspaper gives an ac-
count OF man who tried to hang him.
self With towel and came down with
a crash. Such levity is ill-timed.-
Merchant Trareter.
II n dainty boot her dainty boot;
1t h Id u fascinating foot,
A pre- ty foot; but sad T. IL,
II held an aching corn we'll.
An! Things ars never what they seem,
And life is delusiye dream.
--Boston CtnT|r
\ LITTLE girl Of our acquaintance is
often reprimandcd by her mother for
her habit of clipping words. Not long
ago, after such lesson, adie went to
Sunday and her teacher hid q
smile when she heard her read in the
Bible study, "Eewarc of the e'ercR OF
the harisees !"-Hdpe,'s Bazar.
FIRST TRANp-"I say, Bill, what is
communism Second Tramp -" Ill
explain it to you. ! have got an empty
bottle and you have got dime. l let
you have the bottle. lou buy dimes
worth of whisky and pat it in the bot
tie and | drink it out That's COM
munism. ?"-Teras .Sutings.
MAuD-"Mr. Allround is sort OF
universal genius; isn't he?" Mabel
"Yes, lie is exceedingly clever" Maud
-"He is something of lawyer and
something of musici II. What is his
profession" Mabel" Well, the law
yers call him n Il ician and the musi-
clans call him lawyer. "-Rdmbicr
How IEGEyERENr the most revcrcnt
prayers of children sometimes seem.
Little Jack wanted a tt cycle, and he
was taught to pray for What he wanted,
As he dropped on his knees by his little
bed he added to his "Now l lay me-"
please, God. make papa buy me n
tricycle.. That's dandy. "-Haritord
Pos
Mrs. William, why is it
that Boston people are SO literary, so
refined, SO noble and SO celebrated ?
Bagley tangrilv) They amt. Because
yonr fathers aunt was born in Post, II
you are q regular Hub worshper.
Tell me now, if Boston is so great,
why don't they get upa expos ton :?
Mrs. b. Cranqu;l!y)--Perhaps my d, ar,
there is nothing to expose. Philmlel-
phia call.
The polite child is the latest in the
juvenile world. She was stroll ng
around the neighborhood On q tour OF
observation when she came acros, a
coiored man sitting on doorstep. She
stool with her finger i'll her mouth
looking at him. Finally she SAID ::
you're co!ored man, amt You :"
You're a very polite little girl" he
said. Eyes, I'm colored man" "1b,
yes, I'm very polite. 1 call every Mig
ger l see q colored man. San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
SHE WANTED TO HEAR IT AGAIN.
He sat on 4 bicycle as straight as an icicle and
she on tricycle. rode b. his side.
he talked like jolly fop and nausht cou.d his
folly stop,
With all kinds of lollipop enivening the ride
At last incidentally, more instructive than
mentally, he
Grew sentimentally saccharine sweet
And he told with intensity of love strong pro-
pensity, its
Force and immensely. its fervor and heat
Just then o er some hummocks he sprawled out
kcrtlummux,
And she thought what lummux to tumble
Just thenl
But he climbed to his station, while she said
with elation,
aHenew your narration; say it over ngainl"
-Iid-Bits.
IF is said that the authors would be
more widely read if they would only
write as they talk in ordinary CONVEX
sation. 1t is no doubt true that people
in writing are rather inclined to be ele-
giant Gf we may use that favorite up
holstering and neck-tie department
world) instead of being natural Let
a prize-fghter tell a reporter that "he
didn't have no show, or he would have
damned the bloomin' snoot off of him."
and the interview in the paper will dis
close the fact that the pugil st said Il
was not fairly treated at the hands ri
those present; their conduct was gross
in the extreme. Had l received fair
play, l am certain that the verdict
would have been in my favor. "-PucE.