St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-02-28
THE LADY RAMBLER.

l
+. Il. Clarke has returned from Chicago.
c. IL. Warren has gone to Chicago.
THE LADY RAMBLER.
Has Heard OF the Young Man that
Wanted N TOboggan SHIT.
When young Blank got out his uniform
four and twenty hours before the time APP
pointed for Miss Upper CruSt's last tobog-
gan party, he only intended to sew on a
couple of buttons. but after he had resur-
rected the thread from the depths of the
coal hod, and fished a needle from the bot
tom OF the soap dish, il suddenly occurred
10 him that for so swell an affair as Miss
Upper CTusts party was sure 10 be, his suit
was in a deplOrable condition. Innumera-
bic layers of dirt had been superimpOsed
upon Its once spOtleSS surface; a glass of
champagne spilled over the front vlslbly de-
tracted from the effect as did also a few
Spatters OF blood. proof positive that some
bOdy'S head and an iron lamp post had
come into too close contract. He tried but
toning the coat over the wrong way, but a
clean space then appeared sandwiched be-
tween two dingy strips that looked all the
dingier by comparison. He wished that he
hadn't accepted that invitation, and then
he remembered that the fair object of his
secret and unspOken admiration was sure 10
be there, and he felt glad that he hadn't de-
clined. Suddenly i brilliant idea flashed
through his mind. Why hadn't he thought
of it before? There was the bath pan.
there was plenty OF cold water. there was
an abundance of soap. What was to
hinder? 10 resolve was to act
Ii was queer, he thought aS he applied soap.
that women always made such a fuss about
washing; he half resolved as he vigorously
rubbed, that he would economic on laundry
bills for the future, and when he had finished
and hung the garments over chair to dry,
he retired to dream of the impression that
he was sure TO make i'm his as-good-as new
uniform. He didn't have time the next
morning to try it on, hut he thought of il
often through the day, and supper being at
last over. he hurried to his room TO
dress. But why linger over the narrowing
details? Young Blank is Unfortunately vain
of his handsome figure; his suit was made
eorreSpondingly tight, so tight, indeed, that
the knickerbOckers never could be gotten on
without the aid of a shoe horn; the cloth
was not shrunken before it was made up.
Yes, he attended the party, but in plain
clothes. Never mind how l discovered the
true state of the case. Ny sources of in
formation are many and varied.
That clever writer, Hamerton, saws that
knitting is but another form of Incidence. -
Just remember that, girls, and fire il at the
head of your grandmother when she laments
over the laziness of the present generation.
and tells YOU how many pairs OF stockings
she knit before she was 10.
-
OF course we all caught our colds and in
fiuenZas riding TO and from church in
draughty street cars and not while standing
around looking at professions and fireworks
and things; and it's awfully aggravating TO
a girl TO hear somebody say, in that I-told-
yOu-sO kind of voice, every time she coughs
or sneezes: Too much tobOgganing.'
So
The latest in lingerie is a collar straight
and stiff that opens, not in front, but on the
left side. 1t comes i'm colored cambria and
in plain white linen.
Now that lovely woman has at last found
her true vocation in the thrashing of street
dudes and corner Washers wouldn't it be a
good idea for her 10 make the cane a part
of her street toilet? She has regarded
that article with rather of an enviOus eye
ever since the grande dame of former gen
y.
1t is true she never falls into that condition
of helpless imbecility that requires mouth
stopper, but in other respects she needs the
assistance of cane quite as much as the
young gentleman of her acquaintance.
Under the existing arrangement
whenever it becomes necessary for her
10 chastiSe man she has
to look around for a whip, and thus loses
much valuable time, besides giving her in
tended victim an opportunity to escape.
The whip, once found. is probably broken
before she has done with it, and that causes
expense for pater familiaS. But armed with
a good stout stick she would be always pre-
pared, always ready. Now. while the
public is excited over the matter, is the
time for her TO insist upon her rights. Let
her do it boldly and she will not fail.
-
The ground may be covered with snow
and the streams still hidden under icy man
ties, but the hyacinths are once more abloom
in the windows and we know that the time
for spring suits is near at hand.
-
When George Augustus called around for
Esmerelda Nav the other evening he didn't
think it necessary 10 take his tobOggan into
the yard, but simply tied it to the front
fence, and doubtless he would have found
it where he left it. peacefully reposing upon
the sidewalk, had it not been for two
things, neither of which he took into
consideration, viz: That at the
very least three-quarterS of an hour is re-
quired for girl to get into blanket suit.
and that the small brother of Gretchen. the
maid, who had an especial weakness for
tOboggans, was at that time lurking about
the place. But thus, slasl it ever IS. We
chat and laugh on the brink of precipiee,
and ever rush blindly to our fate. Esmer-
elda May didn't hurry over her dressing
and Gretchen's small brother did make the
most of his opportunity, so that when the
last final touch had been given TO the
cOquettish toQue and the pair emerged from
the house equally well pleased with them
selves and each other, they found the fence
to which it had been tied. the sidewalk on
which it had lain, but no toboggan. Well,
George Augustus was so chagrined that he
very foOlishIy refused the next door neigh
boris friendly offer of loan, and announced
his intention of going in pursuit of his own
toboggan; whereat Esmerelda May first
tartly informed him that he needn't think
she was going to chase all over town look
ing for lost tobeggsns, and then Joined a
gay party OF girls and left him alone upon
the street. And nova GOODNESS has sprung