davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
WHAT THE CHILDREN SAY.

Edith years old, is sitting in the corner
leaning her head on her hands and looking
very miserable. Her mother inquiries:
"Aren't you well, Edithi" "Not very well,
dess.n "What is the matterp "I dot a tolic
in nv head, mamma "-You Companion.
Little Johnny had just been called upon to
sit down upon the school ma'am's walnut ruler
for some misdemeanor, and when soon after
he read that the skin Of rhinoceros is three
inches thick, he calculated: by hockey! |
wisht I had a pair Of pants made of 1t.
Wouldn't cut up thenf-Dansvile Breeze.
Said a little schoolgirl to her teacher:
"Mamma gives me two cents every day for
taking dose of thoroughwort tea without
making any fuss about it." "lndeed! And
what do you do with so much money! -"Oh,
mamma takes care of it for me, and uses 1t
to buy more thoroughwort tea. From The
Youths Companion.
The Historian heard the other day story
of small boy belonging TO newspaper man
who lives at the South End. The boy doubt
less inherits his fathers talents, for he is given
to telling stories of his own deeds, which are
as large in conception as they are circumstan-
tial in their detail. The other day he told a
particularly incredible whopper, and his
father took him in hand. "See here, young
man." said he, "that never happened to you
and you know 1t. If it had | should have
known all about it at the time" "Well, |
guess you were SO that you couldn't know
about it, papa" "Why, how was that" 1T
happened TO me such while ago that you
weren't even born. Boston Record.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05

road shows are less arduous than in
former years. They sleep on the cars
and generally get IN early enough for
breakfast, but their lives are in much
greater danger than they formerly were.
Last season six circus men were killed
in Michigan, where two sections OF
train collided. Another accident, in
Iowa, caused the death of one man
and wounded many more, and every
one knows the fate of poor Jumbo, in
Canada. Scarcely season passes with
out fatal accident happening to circus
trains in different parts Of the country.
"rhe boss bostler has about the most
responsible position in the working
force of show. lie has charge of all
the horses and wagons, as well as the
ring horses and ponies, together with
their trappings. He is held account
abe when the show gets on the lots
late or misses train through delay in
getting away. The press agent is al
ways the life of circus, large or small.
In big chow there are always one or
two cars set apart for the use of the
press agent and his assistants. They
are usually shrewd, wideawake news.
paper men who know how to hustle.
| cant say who is the best. '-Ne,o
York Mail and .Eapress.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
LABOR NOTES.

The knights of Labor in Louisiana have so
far developed no political strength.
The organized labor vote of Virginia is
about sc, 600, out of total vote of 225,00O.
The various labor organizations of Mary
land propose to take an active part in politics
this fall
The other day Eugene Trinally, Of Jamaica,
l.. l., who was fined $50 for assaulting John
Duryea, paid the fine in one-cent pieces The
coin had to be taken away in wheelbarrow.
Twenty-nine discharged employees of the
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad company have
brought suit at Columbus o., to recover
money paid by installments into the fund OF
the Baltimore and Ohio Employees Relief as
sociation.
One year ago there were but four Knights
of Labor assemblies in Georgia, with less
than 1000 members. Now the membership
is 1000 The membership is claimed TO be
far short of their actual voting strength.
They hold the balance of power in the centers
of population
Bootblacks in New Haven, Conn, have gone
on strike They want ten cents shine
Professor Joseph Brown, the Yale bootblack,
thinks this is too much, and sends the follow
ing protest to the mayor: 81, Professor
Joseph Brown, protest against the union, and
claim that more money is made on tive-cent
shines than on ten-centers."
The coal product is by far the most i'm
portant of all the mining industries The
value of coal mined in 1885, both anthracite
and bituminous, was sl59OO9,396. Pig iron
comes next at S64 I72, 900, silver following at
s51 900 900; gold, s3l sol, 600; lime, $50, O,OOO-
600; petroleum, s19, 1893, ,694; building stone,
$4,000 900; copper, Sls,2O2, 1899, and lead,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
CURIOUS THINGS IN LIFE.

A child with six well developed toes on
each foot, and six fingers on the right hand,
was recently born in Albion, Ind.
There is an artesian well 1000 feet deep in
Aberdeen, Neb., Chat throws out numbers OF
fish resembling the ordinary brook minnow.
One of the pecularities of a 250-pouud
pumpkin grown at Newburg is that it was
fed on milk. A root was sent out from the
vine to basin of milk, and it consumed
pint of the fluid each day.
Henry Dumble, of Kingston, Can, is 6S
eight years old, and for years has been per-
fectly bald; but last spring hair began to
grow on his head, and now he has fine, luxu-
RANT crop of black hair, and his whiskers,
which have been gray for twenty years, are
turning black too
1t is not unusual to find eggs in fowls killed
for the table; but it is unusual to find chickens
This is said on good authority, to have hap
pened in Emminence, Mo-, when n fully de-
veloped chick, inclosed in a sort of pouch,
was found inside hen that was being pre-
pared for the pot
A young man of Griffin, Ca, anxious to
make good impression on young woman,
a visitor, whom he was taking to church, dis
played IS gold piece, intimating that it was
for the contribution box. When she expressed
surprise at the amount, he also intimated that
it was his customary contribution. But he
forgot that the custom then was to announce
the amount of the collection, and was shocked
to hear it given out as S375, He had sub
stituted a copper coin for the gold one.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
.. LANCELL'S
80 ASTHMA
6SA AND
s|cATARRH
y u "a REMEDY.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.

Having struggled 20 years between life and
death with ASTHMA or PHTHlSlC, treated by
eminent physicians, and receiving no benent, |
was compelled during the last 5 years OF my III.
ness to sit on my chair day and night gasplng for
breath My su1erings were beyond description.
In despair l experimental on myself by com
pounding roots and herbs and inhallng the medi-
cine thus obtained. fortunately discovered this
WONDERFUL CURE FOR ASTHMA AND CA
TARRII warranted 10 relieve the most stubborn
case OF ASTHMA IN FIVE MINUTES, so that the
patient can lie down TO rest and sleep comfortably.
Please read the following condensed extracts from
unsolicited testimonials, all OF recent date:
oliver V. r. Holmes, san JOSE Cal, writes: 81
ind the remedy all and even more than repre-
sented. receive instantaneous relief"
Writes awas sI iTeated by en- Eminent % pRysicans Of
this country and Germany; tried the climate OF
different states-nothing Afforded reler ike your
~ i. Gates, County Treasurer Philadelphia
not live without II. Every one that uses IL re-
commend7 IT.
i. d. Phelps, P. NJ, Griggs, oRio, writes: "sut-
fered With asthma 40 years. Your medicine In y
minutes does more for me than the most eminent
physician aid iOr ine IN three years.h
ii, o. Plumpton Joliet, H., writes: "Send Ca
tarrh Remedy at once. Cannot get along without
It. | md It to be the most valuable medicine
Geo. W. Brsdy, Nelson Co.. Ky., writes: n am
using the remedy. Gained pounds IN weeks.
would not be without it,
Martin Fox, Little Falls, N, w. writes: "Find
Remedy excellent. Could not live without IT,
we have many other hearty testimonials OF cure
or relief and In order that all sufferers from Ash-
ma, Catarrh Hay Fever and kindred diseases may
have an opportunity OF testing tho value OF the
Remedy we viii send 10 any address TRIAL PACK
AGE FREE OF CHARGE. Address
j. ZIMMERMAN & CO., proprietors
Wholesale Druggists Wooster Wayne Co, o,
Fun size hox by man q, lmayI-ly
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
PLAYERS AND pLAYHousEs.

Margaret Mather is going to revive "Peg
Wellington"
Henry r. Abbey has offered Barry Sullivan
q thirty weeks engagement in America
The fortnight Lawrence Barrett was in
Chicago he is said to have drawn Sil,1OO.
Mrs. Kendall, England's leading actress,
is homely, but more than this, she actually
prides herself on it.
Franklin II. Sargent. the teacher of acting,
has Just returned to New York from pro-
fessional visit to Chicago.
"Odd, TO Say the Least of It," comedy by
Edward Ross, will havo its first American
production in Philadelphia ON Nov. g.
Dion Boucicault, with Marcus Mayors as
sistance, is busy gathering together COM
pany to support him on his projected tour.
Saturday night William Gillette's play of
"Held by the Enemy said farewell to New
York for a season. 1t has been very success
full there.
Mrs. Langtry believes that charity begins
at home. She supports two little nieces,
pays her brothers debts and gives much to
the rest of her family.
"Al" Haymon, the San Francisco manager,
Is going to pass the winter in New York. He
has left two theatres, the Baldwin and tho
California, in the hands of his local man
ayers.
Wilson Barrett's "Claudian" is held by
some to be one of the strongest dramas that
has appeared IN years. 1t contains much of
the elements of the occult and the weird,
which is the popular craze at present.
Miss Fortescue, the English actress, who
sued Lord Garmoyle, familiarly known as
"Gumboil," for breach of promise, thinks she
has been kindly and considerably treated by
her New York critics. She is physically
slight, but capable of great deal of work.
Shakespeare has taken possession of the
Madison Square theatre, New York. Miss
Davenport fills the stage with him at night
and Madame Modjeska occupies it with re-
hearsals of "As You Like IT. by day. Miss
Davenport thinks she is going to have lucky
season because she is devoting its earlier
weeks TO Shakespeare.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
,IAN AND DEMOCRAT BLOOMSBURY, COLUMBIA COUNTY Pa
A NEW LEASE OF LIFE.

When one has been suffering the agonies
Of severe attack of rheumatism, neural
gia or sciatica, and relief comes, ii seems as
if new lease of life had been granted.
Such have been the feelings of thousands
who, after trying physicians and number
less remedies, have used Athlophoros and
found to their great Joy that this medicine
really did cure these diseases.
367 Fulton St., Brooklyn, N. Y.
After suffering for nearly two years with
a continuous attack of rheumatism; after
trying almost every specific, domestic and
foreign, which the credulity of wise man,
or fool, might lead one to trust in, it was
q double pleasure to me to find remedy
which, originating in the famous "City Of
Elms"-the home Of my ancestors and
its first founders--has proved so invalua-
BILE a blessing. 1t is nearly six months
since was led to trace out the significance
of that word Athlophoros. 1t has proved
to me, in a good degree, a renewer of my
former vigor and strength, SO that have
been enabled to move about with almost
youthful activity, and to feel, while APP
preaching my "three score years and ten"
that have new hold on life. | believe
your philosophy of the disease to be correct
that it has its origin in the blood, and that
your remedy touches those joints aud mus
ces, loosening the nodes, which have been
brought into subjection to this dreadful
disease, and sets them free as no other
remedy that have tried. have been
cautious for so long a time in recommend
ing it to others till had tried its efficacy
in my own case; and | am now free to
state the estimate l put upon it, as
the safest and most efficient cure l
have any knowledge Of.
A. b. DAVENPORT.
Every druggist should keep Athlophoro,
and Athlophoros Pills, but where they cam
not be bought of the druggist the Athlo-
phoros Co., 1l2 Wall ST., New York, will
send either Carriage paid) on receipt Of
regular price, which is $lo0 per bottle
for Athlophoros and SOC. for Pills.
For liver and kidney diseases. dyspepsia, in
digestion, weakness, nervous debility, diseases
of women, constipation, headache impure
blood, &C., Athlophoros Pills are unequaled, 3
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
Life in a Circus Tent.
GLITTER AND SHOW ARE ON THE OUT
SIDE. ALL HANDS WORK HARD.

There is an individuality possessed
by the circus man, especially in the
case of the old time Snowman who has
journeyed on wagons and horseback
through the crossroads and green lanes
of the remote rural districts. lie
comes in contact with many sorts OF
people, in every condition of life, and
his knowledge of the characteristics OF
the inhabitants of the different parts of
the country is extensive. A reporter
recently called upon Snowman at his
residence in Brooklyn and gained much
information about the ups and downs
of circus tent life.
81 have been out every season Tor
twenty two years" said he, sand | be-
lieve | am able TO give as many points
about the business as any man you will
find in Brooklyn. A circus man who
follows the calling for any length OF
time has abundant opportunities Tor
knowing the country rs well as the
habits and customs of the people he
finds in it. OF course there are lots OF
people besides showmen who travel
constantly, but the majority OF these
merely go from one large city to an
other, aud their ideas of the country
are such as can be obtained by looking
out of car windows. There is little
difference in the routine work OF a
show nowadays, except Of course, The
manner of transportation from one
town to another. The first duty alter
unloading the cars in the morning is to
get up the horse and dressing tents.
THIS Is done by the drivers and grooms.
While this work is going ON the cooks
and helpers are employed in putting up
the mess tents and preparing the break
fast.
The next act is TO get ready Tor the
s'ro,t parade. All have TO take part
except the canvas and property men,
who get up the big tents. The street
parade lasts less than an hour, One
object of it is to draw the crowd away
from the grounds SO the men can have
a better chance TO work. The duties
of workmen who travel with the rail-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
ART AND ARTISTS.

Rosa Bonheur is engaged in painting por-
trait of the mustang which was recently sent
to her by an American admirer.
Mr., Stanford White, who has designed
cover for the new Scribner's Magazine, is
son of the late Richard Grant White.
Secretary Lamar's daughter is an artist of
considerable merit A landscape showing
the secretary's house in Mississippi is one of
her latest works.
Albert Bierstadt, the landscape artist, re-
turned to New York the other day from
sketcbing tour along Lake Superior, and
found awaiting him a new decoration from
the sultan of Turkey.
More than $50 artists have promised 10
contribute pictures to a sale in Philadelphia,
the proceeds of which will be applied to
eoyep the loss of the Pennsylvania academy
and certain artists during the fire last spring.
Belecour, the French historical painter,
has Just completed his great picture repre-
senting Napoleon | signing his abdication at
Fontainbleau. 1t is the first time this incl
dent has been depicted by ali artist of en-
inence.
Mr.. Labouchere says, ip Truth, that
''there Is no special merit" In the qpeens
sketches, and Princess Beatrice sis about up
20 the standard Of the average amateur,
which means that nobody would care to look
twice at her work"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
Establishing a rreeedenh.

A woman out in Kansas heard that her
neighbor had said that she was weak In will
and exercised no discipline over her children.
She Immediately called in her boy from the
back yard and walloped him so that his yslls
could be heard half mile. Then she felt
satisfied the peighbors would pronounce ths
ather liaE--Shoe and Leather Reporter.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
Main Strength Reouirea.

Mrs. Hendricks, the landlady lat Sunday
dinnerl-l am not feeling at all weE to-day,
and am becoming conscious of the fact that
am not as strong as used to be.
Dumley (sympathetcally)- never ap-
preciates health until one has lost it. If
you are not feeling strong, Mrs. Hendricks,
perhaps had better carve the turkey.-New
York Sun ~"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05

For "worn-oiIt," rundown" debil litatcd
school teachers, milliners, seanstresscs, house
keepers, and over-worked women generaliy,
Dr. Picrco's Favorite Prescription is the best
of all restorative toncs. 1t is not q " "Cure-al
but admirably fulfils Il sngleness OF purpose
being q most potent Specific for all those
Chronic Weaknesses and Diseases peculiar 10
women. It is Il powerful, general as well as
uterine, tonic and nervine, and imparts Vigor
and strength to the whole system. Itpromptly
cures weakness of stomach, Indigestion, hloat-
ing, weak back, nervous prostitution, debility
and seeplessness. in either sex. Fnvorte Pre-
scription ia sold by druggists under our posi-
fire gliGranfee. See wrapper around bottle.
price aI.OO. or six Bottles for $500.
4 large treatise on Diseases of Women, pro
fusely illustrated with colorcd plates ana nu-
meIous wood-cIlts, sent for 10 cents in stamps.
. Address, WORLDS DlsPENsARY MEDICAL
Association, 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
SICK HEADACHE, Bilious Headache,
and Constipation, promptly curcd py
DIR. Pierce's Pellets. R5c. u vial.
nv lriIppistS
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
Chick
ASK YOUR GROCER FOR IT.
ASK YOUR DRUGGIST FOR IT.
Prevents Roup, Prevents Gapes, Pre-.
vents Cholera, Prevents Egg-Eat-
Ing, Prevents Laying Soft
Eggs, Makes Hens Lay.
II No POWDER, !gls NO MEDICINE.
It Sells for Five Gents Per Pound,
in Boxes,

hick-chick-er-re-ko ipoultry food and pre-
ventve of disease for poultry, the great egg
food, produces eggs prodigiously and is good for
the health of the owlng 1t is the first article Of
its kind ever Patented in the United States,
Canada and England. Try it, 1t costs only
FIVE cents per pound. It is no powder. Chick
ems will eat it.. That ought to convince you that
it is good. If your Grocer, Druggist, Hard
ware or Country Storekeeper VIII not get it
for you, send me one dollar, and | will ship
YOU twenty-pound box by freight or one hundred
pounds for Ave dollars. A large box will cost you
no more freight than small box. Attend to your
poultry, il you want to make profit out Of them,
Just the same as you attend to your land. Unless
you manure your land it will not pay you Just
so with poultry; you must give them something
besides feed. They must have material to
answer for grinders, and material for the egg
II you feed Chick k-chiek-er-re-kee (egg foo0)
every day you will never have any sick chick
ems and your hens viii lay eggs when otherwise
they would not You will never do without it
after a fair trial. Do not pay twenty-five or
ffty cents a pound for medicine to feed your
poultry when you can get better article frotl
your storekeeper at Ave cents pound. Don't
- clam; try it. Manufactured in the United
,I,,I I,,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
Made of Rubber Boots,

Boarding House Cook-Now, having had
your breakfast, think you might do little
work for me-
Tramp-I'd like ter obleege ye, mum, but
I'm just tagged out
"Nonsense; what could have made you
tiredf"
"a chewin' at that there steak ye give me,
mum. .n-Omaha World.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
She stroye 20 MAKO him uanny.

Mrs Yerger was dressed to so to the bali
She had ON her new dress.
"You look stunning in that now dress, but,
great Cgesarl what lot Of money il costs
these hard times" remarked Col. Yerger
"Ior', Charles, what do | care for money
when it comes to making you happy" replied
Mrs. Yerger with q beamilg smile Texas
Slftings.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
LIGHT AND AIRY.
How to Negotiate a Loan.

'cBy tho way" exclaimed smithers, shave
you two ilvos for tenN
~ have" responded johnson.
"Thcn lend me one of them."-Pittsburg
Dispatch
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
BOT Game of Chance.

Hotel Proprietor-We don't allow any
games Of chance here.
GAMBLER This isn't game of chance. Ny
friend here has no chance.-Chicago Ram.
bier.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
Hope On, Hope Ever.

'Tis Hope that lights the way through troubles
night,
'Tis Hope that's cheered the world since time
began,
'Tis soap that makes our clothes clean and white,
'Tis soap that civilizes savage man.
-Boston Conriar
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05

An autograph letter of George Washington
brought s17 at sale in Washington the other
day. 1t would have paid Washington's
descendants, If they had known anything,
to have employed man during the generals
life to write autographs of the Father of his
Country. They never thought of that
Norristown Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
"Shake, Partner I"

shake, Partner ~
Drug Clerk Ito customer)-Twenty grains
quininel Yes, sir Shall l give you some
thing to take away the taste of it!
Customer (eyes bulging with astonishment)
Take away WHAT
Drug Clerk-The taste of the quinine, sir.
Customer (solemnly)-Young man, quinine
is bread, butter an pie to me. It's parents,
relatives, fren's; it's my washin, ironin',
clothin', and place to sleep in. Take
away-the-taste-of- I'm a Wabash
valley man, and I'm a good mind ter comb
ye down.-New York Sun.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05

n PARTING song
All, Angeline,
Your smile serene
Is dearer far than life TO me,
But unto you
bid adieu.-
Your dad wears number tens, you see.
Merchant Traveller.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05

Customer early in the morning)-Gimme a
whisky cocktail.
Bartender-Yes, sir. Can you wait a
minute, sirl
Customer-Whyl
Observation-Disclosures this is our cocktail
time O. day, and if you want to wait a minute
or SO somebody else will be in, and l can
make two of 'em together Saves time, you
know. Feeling little ratty this morning.
sir.-New York Sun.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
He Was Sguelched,

lie Was Squelched.
"Oh, Awthuh Heah's one. I've just
thought it out you know"
Gan by yourself, deah boy r.
"Ya-as, weally."
"Well, guess don't want TO heah it."
"Oh, it's veal easy. Why is a wotten
wailwoad tie like man with a guilty con-
science ~
81 give it up"
"Why, because it isn't sound sleeper,
don't ye know. Isn't that good one ~
"No, Clawrence, cawnt say it's at all
good. It's vewy bad"
"Why, was complimented on it veal
earnestly. Why don't you like it ~
because | don't think wotten is nice
wohd to use before me, and hope you will
be more careful in the future. That's why"
Merchant Traveller
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05
The Wicked Flea.

1t Is q curious fact that fleas are Matched
from eggs. Curious because one would hardly
think that a flea could sit still long enough to
lay an egg.-Burlington Free Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-11-05

The rays of old Sol lately down on us darted,
But his reign for season is o'er
The flies and musquitos at last have departed
And life is worth living once more.
Boston Courier