Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-11-30
MIR. AND MRS. BOwSER.
Mrs. Bowser's Explanation of MIR. Bowser's
Failings as n Warning to Young Women
Contemplating Marriage.
Detroit Free Press.


And there are other things about
MIR. Bowser which the public ought to
know, and which am determined to hold
up rs solemn warning TO such young
women rs may he thinking of marriage.
For one thing, BOwser don't treat the
baby right. For the first few weeks he
made q great fuss over it, and one little
squeal mt midnight would bounce him out
of he'd, ready to 20 for a doctor, without
taking time to pull his boots on. Alas!
whats change The other night poor baby
had the collie or some other ailment, and 1t
cried steadily from IL to II without Bowser
moving an eyelid Then | reused him up
TO build q fire and make peppermint
sling, and even before he got out Of bed he
said 'thunderw and called the baby n
thing Iremonstrated-ccrtainly did
and he turned on me with:
81 know what the young 'un needs!
He wants knocking down with crOwbar
three or four times to take the ugly out of
him.
I've lived with BOwSer n good many
wears, but never knew him in his true
light until that night He went off down
stairs, built roaring fire, heated the tea
kettle full of water, and he brought that
ND in one hand, the sugar-bOX in the
other, and the peppermint in his pocket,
and sat them down on the floor, and said:
There, now, either cure or kill him,
but don't bother me any more"
| began to tell him what | thought OF
him, but he went to sleep and chOked me
oil. The next morning he tickled baby'S
feet and tried to lessen the euormity of
his crime in our eyes, but we were firm.
| knew Just as we'll ~ could be when
that child was only two weeks old that
BOwser would give me trouble. Because
he can run Il lawn-mower, he argues that
he can run baby, and though | tried to
make him see that there was wide differ
ence between the two, couldn't succeed,
except to gain grudging admission that
baby didn't run on two wheels and work
with a ratchet. How did he weigh the
little darling? Held him up by one leg,
same rs you would . rabbit, and it took two
DAYS for the blood to get back to his toes
again! The child wasn't four weeks old
when Bowser began to look for teeth, and
because he couldn't find any he turned to
me and said would probably have an Of
fer from some side-S6Ow to travel with
the monstrosityl When baby was six
weeks old, BOwscr came home one after
noon and insisted on seeing him walk. He
said that he walked ut three weeks, and
his father ut two, and that If baby didn't
begin then he was no good. tried to
lam some sense into his head, but IN vain,
and he had q fling about my family being
bow-leggcd and SpineleSs. One afternoon
| left baby asleep and BOwser to watch
him. In few minutes the child opened
its eyes, and BOwser remarked:
''The old woman has gone over to
Blacks TO see about salve to cure your
sore toe, and if YOU make me any trouble
I'll warm your jacket good and stout"'
The baby began to cry. What baby
wouldn't when threatened IN that cold
blOOded manner?
'Shut upp' shouted Bowser.
Baby would't.
''I,OOk-a-herer continued BowScr, rs he
spit on his hands, you'll either dry up or
leave nv housed don't intend to have
any one around here who won't obey all
reasonable commands! IL you 90 out
you'll never come back-neyer"
The baby almost went into commissions,
and all that saved its life was the fact
that | returned while BowSer was hunt
ing the cook to ask her to be witness to
the fact that baby left the house rather
than obey the paternal commando
The child was scarcely three months old
when Bowser wanted to put him into
pantaIOOns and boots, and because | OBJ
iected he reared out:
''Oh, well, make fool of him ifyou
will, but wash my hands Of the whole
AFFAIR."
When the boy was five months old Bow
ser sat down one day and asked him his
age, name, etc., and when the dear thing
put up its lip and began to cry-as what
baby wouldn't when jumped on in that
manner his father shook his great big list
at him and exclaimed:
young man, this is the third or fourth
time you have impudently defied me in
my own house, and | give you notice that
it is the lastn'
last night had the minister over talk
ing with Bowser, but don't suppose that
it did him much good, as Isuddenly heard
him slap his fist into hand and protest:
"But the idea of n young Jun waking up
in the middle Of the night to- howl! Why
not do it all the daytime, when he's moth
ing else ON handp