The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-06-05
A CHEERFUL LIAR.
He Discounts Ananias and Makes Ell FER
kins Ashamed of Himself.

He Discounts Ananias and Makes ELI Per-
kins Ashamed of Himself.
In the East thousands of people plant
and sow sin the MOON to insure RAPID
growth, but in Dakota it is dangerous
to plant in the prolific phase of the
moon, so they are careful to plant at
such time that the moon will exert its
influence in holding the crop back.
1 have known several disastersto result
from neglect of this precaution. One
day last January | got lost out in the
country, and while l was toiling
through the long new grass saw
man with nothing on buthi suspenders,
tearing along like mad. He stopped
Just long enough to tell me what was
up, and off he went again for the Iowa
side of the Sioux river, which he cleared
at bound, and fell on all tours into
snowdrift four feet deep. He said he
and his wife had looked up the
moon business and had planted
their garden the evening before,
but happened to get hold of last
years almanac, and missed it about
four days. The result was when
he woke up that morning the beets
that he had planted forty feet from the
house had crushed in his cellar wall
and had also taken the door off its
hinges, and was just hopping the floor
with all there was left of his hired man,
whom it had snatched out of bed in the
attic. He didn't know where his wife
was. but he saw some shreds of night
gown and several agate buttons in the
front yard as he fled. He said there
were pea-vines after him, with pods on
'em large enough for phantom boats;
and one could see by the way he was
dressed that, if he was liar at all, he
was not regular Dakota thorough
bred sample. If | really thought
would ever become an average Dakota
liar l would want to die. This Terri
tory must be divided some time before
the day of judgment, for how could
the Almighty ever audit its accounts
with only one set of clerical angels at
work at time?
/ About two weeks ago saw farmer
out behind straw-stack gathering into
heap lot of old bones and pieces OF
hides and sprinkling salt on them.
/ Yesterday | saw the same man selling
fine pair of steers to q butcher up
town. They were so fat and had filled
up so fast that he had pieced out their
hides with an old buffalo robe. This
granger was reliable man before he
came to Dakota, but he swore that
! these were the same cattle | had seen
him kicking together behind the straw
stack. He said all that they had eaten
was some wild grass that had sprung
up in his door-yard, where the women
folks had thrown out q few tubs Of
warm soap suds on wash-days. He
said that he had learned that the best
way to winter stock in Dakota was to
knock them all to pieces in the fall and
| get them up again as wanted; other
wise, unless we get a blizzard every
week, they were liable to get too fa
and round on the native grass.
Last fall l stopped at a house to bor-
row match to light my pipe with
The man told me to 90 right out in the
garden and pick all | wanted. l die
not know what he meant at first, but h
went out with me, and-rm almos
afraid you'll think I'm liar for telling
| it-there was about half an acre grow
ing of the finest parlor matches 1 eve
saw. They were as thick as hairs on
blind mole. He said he had poo
crop the year before because the see,
was too good for such soil. This yea
he had mixed his seed matches wit
about one-fourth toothpicks and got
splendid yield.-Dakota Cor. Moder