The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1886-12-09

An enthusiastic lrdlsua ediin
wrote 'The cattle is nnv opened
Bot asasi the compoeifnr speIt = tat
/ tlaH with Al 80. . and hts reallcrs E4g
/ they have expected q al al0ng.
The conductor exclaimed angrily
stHerei don't do that, You're ring
ing the bell at beth ends Of the car.
That's al right. Bedad, an want
both ends Of the car 60 alt0p-"
ayven, DolIie, how did sou Ike tbs
voyage 20 EurOpe7 We're yon $50
mot the Ieast bit. grandpa, but
froWed Hp awfuily the irst ireo
days.
wee Fanny DIT her tongue one day
and came in crying bitterly. What
is Il - asked her mother. "Ohs
mamma - she said. my teeth step
ped on my tongue"
A little chap, told by his mother TO
say his prayers and to ask for Whist
he wanted, prayed ''fOr one hundred
brothers aud fifty sisters" The
mother hurried abe little sinner of 70
bed before be could say Amen
A man said "Hers goes nothing. "
and thereupOn threw himself on .
bridge and was drowned. The truth
spoken by that man was 80 impress
sive that he ought TO have lived 70
utter Il agsin.-Judge-
Tennis tournaments are flirting
matches In disguise. Aud that - Why
hald-headed men and siaD-sided Wo-
men have as little chance Of being
chosen t. play "a q COW has Of getting
into the Kingdom Of heaven--FdA
River Advance.
Scene Ia hotel twenty-five years
hence:
Guest TO porler-'Can YOU tell me
what time it j. 27
Porter-"Yes. sir; ii's half past
twelve. That'lI cost you fifty cents
plese. Merchant TraUeier.
Mamma. what Is color blind ?"
asked little Nell. durability 10 tell
one eolOr from another, my dear"
''rheB ] guess the man who maize my
geography Is color blind. because he's
got Greenland painted down yellow"
Nov come and tell me, dearie,
what was the most interesting thing
in the sermon this morning 2'-' Why,
mamma, Il WAS where the minister
told about taking somebody else
apart but he didn't tell why Il was
done or how he was put together
again"
An Indian chief who was visiting
at Washington al government expense
was introduced 10 senator recently,
who has q very bald head. The chief
looked At him some moments with
great interest. Finally he said:
"Ughl Where you fight Injun some
time ?"
A little fresh .air-ehild" at Elk
land, who had never seen a COW be-
fore, was watching the milking pro-
cess with eyes full Of establishment.
After looking ON in silence for some
time she drew near, aud placing her
hand ON the cows distended side, eX-
claimed why, she's chOek full Of
It, amt she ?"
A brakeman In the employ Of the
Delaware & Hudson Canal Company
is a very Obliging person and thought
ful withal. An excursion rarity,
which included many young men
and women, recently made q trip
from Albany to st. George, and, ~
the train would nesr n tunnel, OF
which there are good many on the
line, he would call out in stent0rian
tones: "Gents. choose your partners
for the tunnel"
Eyes" said the mother, MARY L. a
very ambitious. She VOWS she will
marry some foreign count or some
graudee OF some kind, aud she wants
10 be accomplished.
Accomplished ,"
ayes. Nothing will satisfy her
short Of being fitted to become the
wife Of a nObieman."
"And are you educating her ?'
"Yes; l am teaching her TO wash
and iron.