The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1886-01-23

Accordingly, purchased small quantlty
of the liquid, and, watching my opportuni-
ty, when the old gentleman, having i'm
bibed his customary gin and water, threw
his handkerchief over his head and went to
sleep, I cautiously moistened the handker-
chief with the chloroform, letting the wet
ted portion hang down well over his nose.
He breathed rather more stentorously than
before, but otherwise made no sign. Pres
emily the stentorous breathing grew fainter
and fainter, and at last ceased altogether.
All was over, and began to consider what
would be the best method of communicat-
ing the unfortunate occurrence to the rest
of the household. | hesitated whether TO
give the alarm myself and say that my
uncle had been seized with an apopletic fit,
or to quit the room and leave somebody
else to make the painful discovery. fl
nally decided on the latter course, and was
Just leaving the room when the supposed
dead man suddenly sat up with snort.
"Hah Pish Pooh What's that horrid
smell of rotten apples ?" Then finding
it was his own handkerchief that smelled,
he flung it from him saying, "Benny, you
rascal, you've been up to your larks again.
You've been putting some of your nasty
patchouli stuff on my handkerchief. de-
clare it has given me quite headache.
was only too glad to snatch at the sug-
gestion; l owned the soft impeachment,
and promised not to play such trick again.
My uncle had another glass of gin and
water in consideration of his headache, and
we retired to rest. How my uncle slept |
can't say, but l had uncomfortable dreams
of public ceremonial, in which Mr.. Bar
tholomew Binns, (very drunk, } gentleman
in clerical attire, and myself played promi-
nent parts.
[ came down to breakfast feeling horri-
bly, seedy and low spirited. My uncle, on
the contrary, was jovial and in unusually
spruce array.
"What swell you are this morning" l
remarked.
"Ah, I'm moneyed man to-day, he
replied "Tm going into the city to draw
my annuity.
"Your what?' | exclaimed.
"My annuity The fact is, Benny, my
boy, you and [ are such gay young dogs
that [ found was living beyond my in
come and dipping into the capital. That's
a sort of amusement that don't last long,
YOU know, and 1 like to be on the safe side.
So, the other day when was in the city,
| lust walked into one of the big insurance
Offices and sunk the little lot in an annuity.
Five hundred and ten pounds year they
give me; so long as l live, Benny, my boy,
YOU and 1 are safe of our little pocket
money. By the time l go off the hooks
which won't be for another twenty years or
so, | hope-no doubt you'll be pocketing
your thousand year and won't want it.
Good Heavens what an escape | had
had If had carried out what l now
felt to be my unnatural design, | should
positively have been the poorer man instead
of the richer, for my success. But 1t will
be a lesson to me for the future. Come what
may, have made up my mind that l will
never attempt to assassinate anybody again.
Nv first murder shall also be my last.
Professionals may find assassination pay,
but am quite sure that amateurs had bet
ter keep clear of it. At best it is an ex-
pedient that can only be justified by abso-
lutte necessity, and an error of judgement
may place you in an extremely painful po-
sition. In my own case, for instance, the
suppression of my uncle, which appeared so
eminently desirable, would in reality have
been quite the reverse, and if had sue
ceeded [ should never have forgiven my
self. Henceforth intend to devote my
best energies to cherish my worthy rela-
tive's declining years and keep him alive
as long as 1 possibly can. have already
suggested his devoting reasonable portion
of his annuity to good heavy insurance
on his own life If can only induce him
to do this my mind will be at peace. At
any rate, whatever happens, shall have
done my duty.