The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1886-01-01
THE POOR BARMAlD.

THE POOR BARMAlD.
Curious Bill Now Pending Before the Par.
Lament Of Notwithstanding to Mako
It Illegal To Employ Barmaids
In Pubic HOusrs-La-
ble to Become
Law.
A hill "for the abolition of bar.
maids" says The London Ieleqraph,
sounds like joke from calico in
Wonderland" or from orc of MIR.
Gilbert's burlcsqucs. New less It
is u serious legislative pr Il now
pending before tho parliament of Vic
toria. 1t is actually in print. and
makes it penal for any keeper OF
public house to employ women behind
the counter. Of course. the advocates
of this astonishing idea have their ar
guments. They do not go quite so far
rs Sir Wilfrid Lawson, who would dis
establish not only barmaids, but bar.
men and bars; They would not shut up
all dramshops, but they would make
them as drcary rs possible, SO Us to
rcpel imprcssionable young mon. In
GOthcnbcrg the spirit drinkcr is served
by policeman, who keeps an caplc
ego upon him that he may know him
again, and refuse him !. second glass
if lie asks for it before certain inter.
val has expired. Tho Victorian re-
formers have a corresponding idea of
diminishing the attractions Of intoxi-
cation by surrounding tho initial
stages with repellent rather than en-
ticing accessories. Instead of the
smiling Hebcs who have facinatcd the
golden youth of the colony, men will
serve rs tapstcrs, and without note or
comment hand across the counter tho
required draught. The effect m,y he
considerable. rs male drinkers do I'M
doubtcdiy take u delight in the pleas.
ant looks and bright talk Of the young
ladies who. Us tho French say, '.prc.
side ut these establishments. But
should not tho Victorian apostles of
abstinence go further? 1t is we'll to
replace girls by men. and thus suDdue
the bar to masculine dizziness, but
could not the act OF parliament go on
to declare that none save plain, grim
visaged should be tolerated as assist
ants? Tho most invctcratc topper might
hesitate to enter twice ii he were al
ways met by the ugly aspect of some
dark, forbidding c0lntcnancc. A kind
of competition might take place for
the posts. which might be given to the
most rcpulsivo people the govern
ment could select. Fearful suuints
would be at II premium; scowls would
be valued according to their blackncss
and depth; ghaslly grin would be
desirable; while Il general cadaver-
BUSINESS might bc utilized as suggest.
ing to drunkards tho probable ont OF
their career. Tho Gods of Olympus
laughed loudly when the swart, i'm.
calmly Vulcan for once replaced lIcbe
~ their cup bearer. 1t would be no
joke for the young oilers of Melbourne
to find stern, grim men frown ng over
the counters where once they were re-
ce;vcd with ''nods and bccKs and
wrcathed smiles.
We presume that there must be
''masllers" in Victoria, for the "masll-
err IS the great cause OF the barma H.
just as Darwin has told It's how the
absence or presence Of certain insects
determines the dying-out or growth OF
certain flowers, SO il may he 81 Il that,
until there arose 81 class of young men
to whom lounging across Il bar and
talking to u young lady seemed the
supreme felicity OF life, the existence
of barmaids could not be sustained.
In primitive t mes and in primitive
places men served men, who silently
took their glass, and us silently stole
away. Then came 81 Columbus of pub.
lie houses, who pondered over the
problem how to retain these transitory
visitors. Suddenly il flashed across
him that there were young men
"whose only books were w0mcn's
looks" and who could be drawn and
retained by library of such volumes
prcttily '.bound," aud offered for in.
spcction. Then the desired result was
secured. The youngster who came for
one glass rcma ned for two To see
some young ladies il to admire them;
to admire is To address them. Talking
and laughing arc dry work. when the
most dumfoundcd young man when at
loss for new remark can always
keep the ball rolling by asking for
another drink. Some philosophers
opine that it was not the ..mashcr'
who caused the barmaid, but tho bar
maid has, SO to speak, developed the
"masher." This is probably the idea
of the Victorians. They are followers
OF Sir Wilfrid in limited way. lie
believes that if there was no strong
drinking there would be no vice; they
believe that if there were no bar
maids there would be no strong drinks.
They forsec - bright future all the
frivolous youth of the colony turned
away from saloons and bars, pursuing
not counter-wcnches, but noble aims,
and dcvoting TO stOck-riising, gold
digging, or money max ny the hours
now wasted on giggl'ng girls. We
only hope that this bright anticipation
will be fulfilled; vet we gravcly doubt.
The barmaid will be turned out of
work, all on account of her
too potent influence over young
men. and the ''mashcr'' must
cease TO cling 10 that bar which
hitherto has principally supported his
youthful and atlenuated form. Bar
maid and "mashcr," however, will
still exist; they will live in The same
colony; there IS no law forbi,ll ny them
to meet on sidewalks or at festivities;
while starry ny girls deprived OF their
only mc:fns of livelihood, can say with
truth To every masler they meet:
''But for you might stu be drawing
beer at the Red Lion or smiling sweet
at the Blue Boar. U! why did nature
make me SO lovely and You so su,ccp.
ti'lc?' Such an appeal from the lips
OF discstahlished beauties sent begging
because they were too attractive might
have Il very fascinating effect on young
men deprived at the same time of
their accustomed amuscmcnts and
lannts. The colonial legislature
should look to il, and if they pass
their act they should, we think, sup.
plcmcnt il by some clause borrowed
from old puritan legislation discour-
aging the meeting OF all young people
excepting under the supervision of
elderly men or parish officers. Or
comprehensive scheme for the cxpul-
Son of all barmaids and all Washers
to separate colonies would more thor
onglly secure the end in view. Mod
crate measures are OF no avail when
we see two such dangers as "bluc
ruin" and bright eyes combined be.
hind the same bar. If, as Victoria
, l,;,,1,s b,or L..