The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-03-27

CHAPTER I.
 The headache is too noble for our sex.
 You think the headache would sound decenter, For that is woman's special proper ache 4 And altogether bearable-eNcept
 To woman. -AurOrd Letgh.
 Miss Vanee Miss Vance do you 4 know the time of day."
 Nine, sir
 Yes, nine, and see there Mechani- < cally followed with both eyes and feet, the direction of the pointed fingers. There piled upon large, square table was a pyramid of MSS reaching almost to the skylight.
 That pile is accommodating
 My head was bad this morning. l said by way of explaining my tardiness. should have been at work two hours before.
 You'll have need to be all the spryer" With this timely reminder lr- ving Winter, Sr., my employer, left me to my work. Removing my hat and gloves, l sat down in my chair and sighed. It was not my wont to sigh be fore beginning work, but this morning my head was splitting. Such heap! Spry, indeed, should have to be to make room for the next mails contribution. It was sure to be large--n was always large. "Thank heavenl waste baskets are cheap and fire is ready consumer of trash" l thought, picking up the nearest roll and splitting down the vel low wrapper with my little finger. You see, l was story-reader of large publishing house. Nothing to do from morn till dewy eve but loll back in an Il elettes Delightful says my unso- phisticated reader. Try it, my fiction reading friend for six consecutive days, and if you have not literary digestion of the OK, at the end of that time you will be either maniac or reformed novel-reader
 A friend of mine once had a vision of hell, which, if not as magnificent as Dante's, was certainly ingenious. There he saw everybody eternally engaged in what had been on earth his iavorite pursuit and besetting sin. One man had shaken a dice-boX 20,OOO,O0O times. Another had counted out money till his fingers were worn out to the bone, and uncounted heaps still lay all around him. One woman had valued ring in the stone floor and still she whirled round to the giddy one, two, three. Another had looked 1000 mirrors into fragments and was now sweetly grimac- ing in the thousand and first. am sorry for these But if there be one sinner among them who while here encouraged too much predilection for tale-reading and is now eXpiating his guilt by being the story-reader of lnferno-supremely above the others my heart goes out to him in pity. l had been a devourer oi the tale in early girlhood. 1 remem Der how used to steal time from paper folding each week to read all the storie> in that copy. Some of us begin our term of sin expiation this side the grave Be that as it may" said with sigh unrolling q roll of manuscript and re rolling it from the other side to get il out of the curl" be that as it may, the wolf must be bept from the door, and with this homelv conclusion l set my teeth for work
 WRITTEN IN BLOOD;
 The T'n,rsoed HTddoV
 By Adolphus Fitzgerald
 We'll. Adolphus, you have taking title here l should be almost tempted to inquire into this anomaly of the un welded widow if you had just coupled the d's in unwedded instead in the un fortunate widow. However, this may only be one of the eccentricities of ge nius Yes Adolphus, if arbitrary spelling be sign you are certainly one of the gifted. Here again We have our heroine called the wider, proving that you could spell her with one dwher your genius cared to condescend to the httleness of correctness Really 8 blood-curdling narrative Adolphus written, as you say, in blood Cor is ii only poke-berry ink?; but We haven enough green and yellow paint in oul establishment to get it out in the artis tic style it deserves. There is a nice large, empty waste-basket with its mouth wide open for your wider" Here goes
 Next comes,
 WIT AM 4 BACHELORs
 I wager l can tell before 1 read rhs first chapts<. Because you wrote youl love letters on ancient purple-lined vel low paper like this. What rationa maiden, much less sensitive-sighteo story-reader, would honor such paper with a perusal-much less send bacI Accepted?" Let us mildly suggest my friend, that should you ever agaiI aspire to become an accepted lover oI