Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-08-05
From BelleyieW.

"Pap' Thomas and j. A. Kirwin wen
down to Annapolis last Thursday to rnr
a foot race. Haven't learned the result
yet, but expect they had an easy victory.
Mr.. Reuben Thomas and his estimablt
lady visited Annapolis last week. Uncle
Reuben's health has been poorly, but at
present he is 4 valetudinarian and we are al
glad of it. Long life to you, Uncle Reuben.
Oh! how dry it is. All inanimate matter
is being contracted into the most minute
space possible. Even Buford mountain has
shrunken till it is 10 or II feet lower and
comparatively less in circumference. Nature
has probably taken this method to provide
place of refuge for defeated candidates,
for the earth has cracked until there are
great apertures in which even Pres. Whit
ures that would just fit Mr.. Bone or Walker.
There is such dearth of moisture that even
the light, feecy cirrus clouds will not slip
over the city. Buford has to grease the top
of his hill, and the other day we were hunt
ing the longest man in town to push clouds
away from the church steeples.
| Price Cox has just returned from Texas
and is enjoying recreatiye visit to his home.
j. E. Cox is as much Zone of the boys "
as ever.
Miss Logan, of Caledonia, has secured the
position of school mistress at Elm Grove.
| Mr.. Perkins has been awarded the teach
ership of Belleview.
The services of Johnny Hartman have
been secured to teach the Middleton school.
/ believe that Johnny will make an efficient
teacher.
Mr.. Brecenridge will perform the func-
tiOns incumbent upon a schoolmaster at
Thorn Grove school. Mr.. b. is we'll quail
fled for the position.
James BufOrd's son is conyalescent. If
good will and wishes will promote his
chances for recovery, or console him during
his progrsss towards that state. he can rest
assured Of having such, RS In no case haze
seen so much kindly interest displayed.
am not hepololigist, in fact my knowl
edge of the family reptilia is very limited, as
following incident will show: Strolling
down the railroad track toward Middlebrook
| observed green watermelon near mud
hole. Anxious to CLEAN this specimen of the
horticuturists ari, ] extended my hand,
when 10. great big bug sprang from the
inside and grasped my fingers with ayidity
and hooked bill. Now, perhaps, that was
his method of salutation, but he was more
tickled to see me than 1 was to see him;
but he shook, shook, shook hands with me
until 1 was heartily tired, and by grand
cOup de stat severed my too intimate con-
nection. But judge of my surprise to see
him walk off with that pumpkin, right into
the mud: But that melon wasn't going to
get away $50 easy. / took it aside with a
club and piled rocks on it. / had scarcely
turned about when that rascally bug tried
| to steal my pumpkin again. That was too
much. grabbed him and piled ties upon
him, then stretched myself in position of
| Otium cam dignity o. and then chuckling
| over my success, producing the REGISTER
was soon so interested that became utterly
obivious to transpiring circumstances, when
suddenly l was surprised to hear the shouts
Of many people, and POUNDS! but there was
l at Middlebrook! The conductor on No.
| supposlpg from similarity of movement that
| it was the company's DoD car with some im=
portent passenger, and installing my feet
for mules ear, was lmpatiently waiting
for me. But seeing the true state of affairs,
the engine shrieked Tin disgus) and sped
away, but not in time to prevent my hearing
Boston girl say, low isn't that roman
tic, " and an Englishman, as e'es noted for
being predantic said, "For wager he'
riding from Frisco to Atlantic on snap
ping turtle" That made me frantic.
"Smart Alex, " would accept your invi-
!! tation for the 18th, o! so gladly, but that l
cannot haye g,berrinna tides in the sincerity
of it, taking into consideration some former
experiences, (but then 1 have a cdc9thes
carpendl, as well as a cdcRtheS Scribcndi)
and Peccari and bis peccdri in bello non licit!
Didn't they think him a girl theft rather than
horse theifp No did not think you ver-
dant: far otherwise, was surprised to find
SO much intelligence and refinement in "the
woods - do not want to get over being
lost (O so much pleasure did it bring me
that have been trying to get lost ever since
I have wandered ever since in the ethereal
and intricate mazes of the sublime wilder
ness of blissful fancies! Now be frank and
say that you have discovered the deception,
had it not been for the collision of others.
Now do, that's a good girl.
Thomas G, Foley, at present of st. Louis,
buried his child last Tuesday at Middlebrook.
To the many readers of the REGISTER
now bid kind adeu. If / have interested
them 1 am happy; If haye not, that there
has been no harm done by my pen I can
conscientiously believe; my pen has ever
been ready to redress grievances,to promote
peace and prosperity, and like T.Paine's " to
do good to my fellowmen. j." My associations
with the courteous editor and his gentle
manly staff have been of such a nature as to
perpetrate In my memory the most pleasant
"reminiscences, which will eyer afford me
pleasant retrospective. With my personal
friends and contemporaries Especially
Smart Alex"l feel 10th to part and will
only say that 1 shall remember them with
the kindliest and noblest emotion that
springs in the human gratitude.
QUAKER.