The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-08-06
ODD ITEMS.

err.
The height of fashion-A dudes
collar.
Through by daylight-The night
policeman.
Talk is cheap--unless you employ a
sCenographer.
Dentist-made teeth go well with a
false set.oh voice.
People who live in glass houses
should have curtains.
The London Divorce Court should
be furnished with blinds.
When it is time 70 90 at butter. max
ing the dairyman moves to a.churn.
A Leesburg, (Fla) gun, loaded for
burglars, was stolen by them lately.
The New York Board of Health is
to decide how many cats make a nuis.
auce
A rural correspondent writes us that
'olymargne is oifal.' Well, sometimes
| it is.
Never call man a liar, but observe
that he seems to be contemplating q
political career.
The number of idiots in the United
States increased from 34,127 in 1870
to 76,S95 in 1880.
Washington society ladies have al
taken to keeping diaries, and more
novels may be looked for.
The deepest shades of red will be
fashionable this summer. Claret will
therefore be very popular.
When saloon keeper becomes rich
enough to hire two bartenders he i'm
mediately calls his place cafe.
An Australian actor named Henry
E. Walton is going is make starring
tour of this country next season.
The Courts of three States, New
York, Connecticut and Wisconsin, have
declared boycotting to be crime.
Sunday is the most fashionable
promenade day, because On that day
dudes cannot he arrested for debt.
Signs of humor-Those in front O
the District Telegraph offices repre-
senting the messenger boys on run.
Idiosyncrasy Of the English languag,
Why is it that a man is said to leav,
the earth just the moment he enters it.
Paris consumes forty nine tons o
snails daily. An American messenger
boy would stand poor show in Paris
| With all his experience, his busines
and in conversation the barber is no
always acquainted with the parts o
speech.
| Rev. Arthur Waite, the notorious
temperance agitator and converted
clown, is said to be fakir on the street
of Cincinnati.
| Christine Nilsson will honeymoon a
Madrid, and amuse herself by paper
ing her rooms with pla, bills and news
paper notices.
| The streams are getting so low tina
speckled trout Of the future will hav
TO have legs, and burrow in the groun(
like woodchuck.
| The Gen. r. E. Lee monument is tc
be begun in Richmond on October 23t
and the day will be celebrated will
true Southern honorI.
| A miser who died of starvation il
Carroll county, Georgia, one day las,
week, had $4,000 secreted in thu
cracks of his log cabin.
| Weeping Widow-And such goot
man, sir. Busy Undertaker-No doub
no doubt, but little wide-a littl,
wide for the average man.
Water melancholia is a slow deatl
and a somewhat painful one, but, al
things considered, it Is less objection
able than green appleplexy.
"Why don't our young men come to
the front p asks an exchange. We ex.
pect 1t is because the front rows are al
ways filed with bald headed men.
| John A. Logan, Jr., has gone into
the loan and real estate business in
Washington. He is not an orator like
his papa, but he will make dollars.
1t is about time for somebody among
the back seats to rise up and remark
that the mosquito bar, like the cam
paign lie, is made out of hole cloth.
| S. A. Abel, the proprietor of the
Baltimore Suaa, is next to Robert Gar
rett, the richest man in that city. He
works hard, and makes his boys do the
| same.
That curious aggregation known as
New York society" considers it good
form to seek automatically for invita-
tions to visit friends who have a
country house,
Goodwin Smith expresses the opinion
that since the time of Demosthenes
there have not been a dozen orators in
the world who could equal John Bright
in eloquence.