The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-25
BILL. NYE,s eoYHoop.
why He Does Not Particularly Yearn tC
BE an Urchin Again.


If | were a boy again, endowed with
the same wild passion for plucking
watermelous in the dark of the moon,
would no doubt fall a victim to that
overmastering passion as l did before,
but looking at it as do now, would
be wiser. Boys can not, however, have
the mature judgment of manhood with
out the experience and the rheumatism
that go with it. So it is better that in
our childhood we may be able to eat
raw turnip with safety, and know some
thing later on in life. | notice a great
change in myself while comparing my
present condition with that of joyous
Doyhood Then l had no sense, but !
had a good digestion. Now | haven't
even the digestion. The hurrying years
have cavorted over my sunny head till
they have worn it smooth, but they have
left good deal yet for me to learn.
am still engaged in learning during the
day and putting arnica on my expert
ence at night.
Childhood is said to be themost glad.
some period in our lives, and in some
respects this statement may be regarded
as reliable, but it is not ali Joy. | have
had Just as much fun in later years as I
did iii boyhood, though the people with
whom l have been thrown in contact
claim that their experience has been diff
ferent. | hope they do not mean any
thing personal by that.
do sometimes wish that | could be q
boy again, but l smother that wish on
account of my parents. What they
need most is rest and change of scene.
They still enjoy children, but they
would like chance to select the chill
dren with whom they associate.
My parents were blessed with five
bright-eyed and beautiful little boys,
three of whom grew up and by that
means became adults. | am in that
condition myself. was the eldest of
the family with the exception of nv
parents. am still that way. Ny early
life was rather tempestuous in places,
occasionally tiecked with sunshine, but
more frequently with retribution. | was
not a very good roadster when young,
and so retribution was most always
just in the act of oYertaking me. While
outraged justice was getting in its work
on me, the other boys escaped through
a small aperture in the fence, +
That is another reason why | do not
yearn to be a boy again.
When we ran away from school to
catch clubs, and when we built fire
to cook them and the fire got into the
TALL dry grass and burned four miles oil
fence and sixteen tons of hay for gen.
| tleman for whom | had high regard
and went back to put out the fire, the
other boys escaped and have remained
so ever since.
A Just retribution has never had any
difficulty in overtaking me and walking
up and down over my wishbone. "a.
When party of us had been engaged
in gathering Easter eggs in the barn of
a gentleman who was away from home
at the time, and he returned just as we
had filled our pockets with the choicest
vintage of his sun-kssed hens, the other
boys escaped while was occupying the
attention of the dog, and l had to slide
out of the second story of the barn. 1t
is still fresh in my mind as l write. L
wore my fathers vest at that time and
it was larger than was necessary. MY
father was larger than | at that time.
for wss only nine years of age and
had not arrived at my full stature. In
sliding down the batten | discovered
that the upper end of it was loose and
that my flowing vest had Slipped oyoT
it, so that when | got down about four
feet hung with the board buttoned in
- l. L., III
oozing out of my knickerbockers.
The batten had sprung back against
the barn in such way as to prevent my
unbuttoning my vest, and while I
hung there on the side Of the barn like
a coon skin, the proprietor came around
and accused me of prematurely gather
ing his eggs.
| had heard truth very highly spoken
of by people who had dabbled in it
more or less and so resolved to try it
in this instance. So L admitted that
Suco was the case, and it was the best
! thing could have done, for the man
said as had been so frank with him he
would take me down as soon as he got
his other work done, and he was as good
his word. After he had MIXED nine
, cows and fed nine calves he came
, around with a ladder and took me down.
,, He also spanked me and set the dog ont
; me, but did not mind that, for was
! accustomed to it. To hang on the side
:. of a barn, however, like an autumn
: leaf, trying to kick large holes in the
, atmosphere, is disagreeable.
' This incident cast a gloom over my
whole life. 1t has also reconciled me to
the awful decree that | can never be a
8 boy again. Bill Nye, in NJ T. World.