The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-02-02
TIE RESPONSES.

TIE
1885.
"Canst thou cherish me, Martha?"
"Yea, if it be the Lords will"
"And wilt thou wed me, sweet
hearth"
"Yea, verify, rs the Lord is my shep-
herd"
"Can you love me, Mau3r
"Wcll, l should shuddcr."
"And will you marry me, dcarestH'
What are you giving Chicago
Ledger.
THAT OLD SAYING.
woman was looking Mt some brooms
in u grocery store when n stranger, who
had been drinking, approached her and
said:
"Aftcr a broom, ch? Shecms zif I
had heard sunthin' bout a new broom.
There is an old saying, but I can't re.
member it,"
She paid no attention to him, and
pretty soon he asked:
"Shay, can't you member what it is?"
Eyes, sir" she answered, rs she
whi1led on him. "The saying is: THE
handle of Il new broom is a good thing
to hit Il loafer With"
"Ish That it? Ha! Ha! Ha! Yes,
that's 'er broom and I'm 'er loafcr! I
shcc 'er pint. Tra-la!"
And he fell over n basket of apples
and got out doors.
U AHEAD.
Aunt Maria was not Il great favoritc
with hoDbhiI1ror or1 ny ,,:o> xl.A
she brought one morning in person for
one of the boys to &c back and spend
the day Mt the farm did not meet with
any ove%rcnthusiastic reception from any
OF those young WORTHLESS.
Pm thinking that I'd better 90"
confided Will, in IN undcr-tone. to his
younger brothers.
"Oh, yes, 60 on" said Dwight, en-
couragingly; ''pcrhaps the pig will get
loose, and then you'll have a irst-rate
time"
JUST ThE SAME.
Shindig Watkins secured the floor in
the Lime. Kiln Club to ask for informa-
ton. He wanted to know if a member
must feel perfect confidence in another
members word when trading horses,
He hadn't made a trade yet, but might
in a day or two.
"Bruddcr Watkins" said the Presi-
dent in very solemn tones, ''dar am no
doubt a fraternal fcclin' among members
of dis club. In case you wanted to
borry ten cents of Waydown Beebc, and
had no odder security but de fack dat
you was a member hcah, he would
probably lend it to you, but you mustn't
presume too fur. When two members
of dc same church will kiver up all de
spavins in q hoss-tradc, and reduce de
aigc of an 18-y'ar ole beast down to 8
widout chnngin' countenance, doan'
hope fur too much honesty in a society
mostly composed of sinners. ~ Detroit
Free Press. 4,
HE COULD SEE.
He had been to a high-priced occulist
nbout two dozen times to have his eyes
operated on. and at his last visit the
occulist remarked confidently: "You are
getting along finely, sir, and you'll be
all right in q few weeks" II hope so,
doctor, but I can't see now as we'll as
I could at first" Oh, yes, you can.
There's a marked Improvement" ''But,
doctor, I know better" "You only
think So" ooh, no, 1 know" GLOW
do you know" "Why, doctor, when I
first came I could see quite a snug little
sum to my credit in the bank, and I'll
be hanged if I can see n dollar there
now" The doctor ceased his argument.
Merchant IaucelLer.
A REMOVAL.
One day last fall a Boston purchaser
of $50 city lots in a new Nebraska town,
called Red City, might have been seen
roaming over the unbroken prairie look
ing for them. At the door of a pio-
necr's cabin sat an old man smoking a
short pipe. Said the Boston man:
Il have com to see about my $50 lots
in Red City,"
eyes; I thought so when you were a
mile off. What about 'em2'
"Why, there's no city. The place isn't
ven surveyed"
Guess it amt"
"And the whole thing is a swindlcW
"Well, l dunno about that. Me and
the Id woman, and the blacksmith two
miles down the road and his woman,
have signed u pctishuu to have the ma
tional capital removed here, and if she
comes, that ERE property will take SIGH
q jump inside of a week that me and
you kin just lay back and slobber in
wealth all the rest of our dog-goned
days. - Wall Street Neus.
DOES A BIG BUSINESS.
Mrs. Odds: "And SO you've broken up
housekeeping, have you? You were
beautifully situated, and it seems such
a pity to have to give it all up"
Mrs. Ends: eyes, I was much opposed
to it, but Henry thought it was best,
and SO we moved into this boarding
house. Oh, we like it very well here"
Mrs. Odds: "And all your beautiful
things suppose are stored always"
Mrs. Ends: ''Oh, yes: Henry got the
sheriff to take Charge of them for him.