The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1886-04-18
LIARS.

The "Neighbors' Club" a literary and musical or
ganisation embracing considerable talent, which
holds seml-monhly meetings, has an "Ancnymous
Box" which often containa q choice sketch. To this
box q HERALD man has n false key, and last week
he extracted thcrefrom the following clever coniti
button ably defending n much. abused class, evil
IDENTIFY from the pen OF the gifted "Ellsc iIathaway'
ave have all heard of the homm opathic doctor
whose directions were to put two drops OF his mcd
cine into bucket OF water and take n tcaspoonful
every "wednesday night Perhaps some oI us have
known people who had so pfcat respect tor tile
truth that thty dstd It In Quite as sparng manner.
PERHAPS we have cvch been 80 hypercritcal ut times
ds to complain of this tendency OF theirs. But attn
sure VIC could not INA fault with them u we reflected
for moment how much the world owes to Its liars.
What a poetry they throw around life. what n
glamour. do not mean alone the professionals, the
poets and writers OF fiction aud "reminiscences for
the Anonymous BOX, hut the simple, unpre,cnding
amateurs wnoii one meets IN everyday life.
at ton have q good servlccable Imagination,
figure TO yourself FOR one wild, delirio,is moment
wha, society would he. founded on a basis OF abso-
lutte sincerity Imagine yourself saying Just exactly
what you Thought ali that you thought and nothing
but what you thought do d step further, and imag-
ine yourself listening to other people doing the same
thing to you. How would you like the person who,
after you had laborlously acquired and enacted your
role In the private thearlcals, unfecngly told you
that IN the vivacious parts you were heavy and elc-
phanine and In the serious parts maudlin7 2 Though
your conscience might convince you that, viewed
from The cold standpoint OF reason, this was true.
how much more engaging would be the gentle and
polished liar who assured you that you were admi.
rable, second only to the leading professionals, and
might indeed give them valuable points. You know
he is lying and he knows tnat yo know 1t, but still
Il II soothing.
"rhe person who gazes reiec,ively upon your last
artistic production, ana tnally iniuires Are they
roses Or peonles9 who, when you assure him tina,
they are chfysanlhemums, answers coldly that he
never should have suspected It. Ia fat less winning
than the sagaclous liar, who, before expressing an
1pnoh, MANAGES to make you commit yourself az 10
the precise botanical species OF the shrub repre-
sented, so that he can praise 1t judciously aud dis
criminatingly.
"How many OF LIES rough edges are smoothed of
by skillful liar. How much easier II IL to bear the
additional half hour Of the oratorica liar when he
prcfaces II with, 'one word more and hayo done
How 1t cheers you when the impccuuious liar In.
forms you that he had set aside the money to pay
that little debt, AMI carelcssly came down town and
forgot 1t, but he will hand II to you tomorrow. on
how much more friendly terms you are with the
person who Ia always coming to see yot next week
than II she told you with repusive frankness tina,
she didn't intend to come at all, as there were 80
many other people she would rather see. The
,lressmaker who for six long weeks swecy ass,ires
you that your gown Will he home on Saturday makes
II easier for you to bear the disgrace of attending
church In the OLD one than II she told you ut first st
didn't intend to put the scissors into 1t for month
When your deadest foe has to write you letter or
business you may know that you are not his deal
Mr.. Bnks, and that he cannot be said TO he yours
sincerely, or any other way, Samuel Jnks, but the
least sensitive person would he wounded II hi
frankly begun his letter. MY hated and despiset
Mr.. Bnks,' and signed 1t, Yours with contempt
and loa'hlng,S Jinks.' The Secretary OF the Neigh
bors, too, instead of boldly and brutally stating tn,
plain facts about our acting and singing and playing
and anonymous papers, cndears himself to us all b,
dressing them UP in the flowers OF rhetoric and sub
merging them beneath pounds and pounds OF tn,
most expensive sort OF taffy.
"Picture TO yourself the shattered and disorganize,
condition OF society II everybody told everybod!
else that their hats were unbecoming; that thei
cow ms didn't it that their arms were scraggy an,
their necks only interesting to the anatomica
student; that their conversation was tiresome, thei
manners loud their singing OIL the key, AMI ihei
taste In dress frRhtful why, every man IS han,
would be against his nelghbor, and the earth woul,
speedily be depopulated.
"But far be 1t from lie to encourage immoralit,
among the Nelghbors, or advise any one to yield t.
the ambition to become a successful liar. Indeed
we do not all possess the requisite gifts for tina
career. To lie artsticay requires great fertility o
resource and readiness of invention, vivid Imagna
ton, now OF language, keen observation, and
above all, an excellent memory. We do not all hav
these talents, and yet there times when the plain
unvarnished truth seems totally Inadequate to tn
occasion. When some misguided friend, for in
stance, under the mistaken Impression that he o
she Is singer, has squeaked awhile for your enter
tatnment, you may not feel prepared to express you
true opinion, nor yet to perure your soul by sayn