The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-01-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
Three years of conjugal infelicity are tersely
described in this epitaph which was written by an
Englishwoman for her husbands;
Hymen Numbered when twas done,
1921.
Oft it Numbered, so did yoh,
1929,
Death kindly sOndered you and me,
1928.
SCOTS Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver
oil with Hypophosphites, IN Inciptent
Consumption possesses remedial powers of great
efficacy 1t heals the irritation of the throat and
lungs. Makes pure blood and fortfes the system
against further inroads by disease.
Educate mans intellect :only and he becomes
an infidel; educate his heart. and he. becomes
fanatic educate both together and he becomes
the noblest work of Godfrey. L. Dewitt Tai
mage.
Clipped from cdnada Presbyterian, under sig
nature of c. Blackett Robinson, Propr.: was
cured Of oft-recurring bilious headaches by Bur
dock Blood Bitters.
A small boy, the son of gifted clergyman in
this State was heard one night offering the follow
ID God, please bless mamma and please bless
papa, but the less you have to do with Aunt Ma
ria the better"
The medicinal and pharmaceutical professions
indorse Colgan's TaTy Tolu and use 1t freely in
their families They know it to be healthfu
s.You enjoyed the opera, Mrs Qulckrick?'
feet fraud TIE newspapers all said the tout en-
Semble was superb, and went specially TO see IL,
but there wasn't single tout ensemDle IN tn ite
whole show. l don't believe they've got one IN
the company"
Pain from Indigestion dyspepsia, and too hearty
eating is relieved at once by taking one of Carriers
Little Liver Pills Immediately after dinner, Don't
forget this.
Somebody saws in a London paper that the
highest velocity yet impaired to cannon ball is
1926 feet per second equal to mile in 80 sec
onds. The velocity of the earth at the equator,
due to rotation on its axis is 1000 miles per hour
or mile in $50 seconds; thus, If cannon pa,
were fired due west and could maintain its initial
velocity it would beat the sun in its apparent
journey around the earth.
Mrs Joseph Heap, wife of Constable Heap, of
this city, was troubled with rheumatism for five
years and could not use her arms. -Four doses of
Athlophoros cured her. d. r. Smith, druggist
1876 South Main street, Fall River, Mass.
The metric system of weights and measures was
adopted enthusiastically In many laboratories
when first introduced, but is now said to be rapid
~ losing BfOuHu lut ldcb tlIdI tilC illopdCCluCut
Of a little dot viii turn comparatively harmless
dose of medicine into one having deadly poison
ing power bears strongly against it.
Women with pale, coloress faces who feel weak
and discouraged. VIII receive both mental and bod
lily vigor by using Carer's Iron Pills, which are
made for TIE blood, nerves and complexion
'.What are you waiting for, little boy?' inquired
kindly old gentleman OF a street urchn who
was watching each passer-by intently.
''Waitin' for long whiskered gent smokin' a
seegar. Then I'll foller uim and git the stub.n
.'Ibo long-whiskerd men smoke better cigaTs9''
NAV, but they don't smoke em SO short"
SHADES Epicurean Spices are sure to please
those who want the best goods, as they are the
best Cultivated Spices, powdered perfectly pure.