The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-07-10
PHRENoLoGY AFLoAT.

l can't just now recall his name, but
he was registered at the hotel at Elk
Rapids as from the Chicago Inter- Ocean.
There wasn't any thing singular in two
newspaper men making up to each
Oiher-not when they were both away
from home, liked his looks from the
start, and when he realized it he
brought out chart of his head which
Prof. Fowler had given him. Accord
ing to the chart his leading traits
were:
l. Extreme liberality.
2. Utter absence of selfshness.
3. Strong friendship.
was glad that the chart confirmed
my own private impressions, and our
friendship was cemented with the blood
OF the revolution, for which the land
lord charged ten cents a glass. On the
fourth day we went out together in a
skiff on the bay to fish. He insisted on
paying for the bait, and in rowing the
boat, and that agreed exactly with trait
No. /. We were a half mile off shore,
and still going ahead, when the skitf
banged against some unseen object, the
bottom was stove in, and the next mo-
ment she filled to the gunwales. The
oars tloated away as we tiOated out,
and we settled down to business with
the wreck floating full of water and he
hanging TO one end and | to the other.
1t was only then that a suspicion crept
into my mind that Fowler hadn't felt of
that chaps bumps in dead earnest.
''You did it-you Internal idiot-you
did itl'' he yelled at me as he got Little
Traverse Bay out of his mouth.
As Fowler hadn't included Truth in
his leading traits felt free to deny the
allegation, but he repeated it in Wig
orous manner, and added:
1--we got a revolver and if you don't
let go of this boat I'll shoot youn
For why?" says l.
because it won't float both of us, and
I'm going to sage myself at any cost!'
That was his cutter absence of selfish
ness, as recorded on the chart, and |
was surprised and grieved to think
Fowler had been so taken in. | asked
for little grace, and he replied
GIVE you jIst two minutes to say
your prayers. "
| wanted twenty, and he wouldn't
even compromise on six. That was
more of his "eXtreme liberality." When
] saw that he was inclined to hurry the
funeral | bounced the boat around and
prevented him from getting at his
weapon, which had stuck fast in his wet
pocket. Pretty soon he tried another
lay. Said he:
II am a married man and have four
children. All you've got is wife, and
she's half dead at that. Have some
reason about you.
offered to argue the case, each side
being limited to five minutes, and he
charged me with cold-blooded selfish
ness. If the circumstances were only
reversed he'd die for me in q minute.
but as we couldn reverse EN- he had
another proposition. If I'd let 90 and
die quietly and decently he'd raise at
least one hundred dollars for my widow if
he was saved, and would give a column
notice in the Inter- Ocean, describing
the details of my heroic act, and wind
ing up with the paragraph:
1--WE are certain that the public will
not let his grave remain unhonored by a
fitting tablet.
wanted to know what sort of a tab
let, the cost etc-P had seen so many
cheap tablets that [ felt like holding out
for a Scotch-granite monument with an
angel on the apex. He got so mad at
the delay that | had to bounce the boat
again to keep the pistol in his pocket.
When he had Gained down he appealed
to my generosity and manly honor He
had Just had his salary raised. His
father-in-law had Just come to appre-
ciate him for what he was He was the
president of Chicago literary society,
and the leading member of a debating
club. His future was full of the biggest
kind of watermelons, and the whole
world would miss him. | hadn't any
salary worth meEtioning-no father-hl-
law ut all-no hope beyond fourth-tloor
rates Wasn't it better to die hero
than to live on like thistle by the road
sideP | asked him to put his language
in the form of a motion, which he did,
and a vote was takGn-it was stand
off. His side only got one vote, and
that was half-full Of water.
never saw chap so full of motions
and resolutions as he was for three
quarters of an hour, and l never attend
ed a caucus where the opposition was 50
determined to vote them all down. He
had apparently exhausted his stock and
was hunting for something new, when
he lost his hold on the wreck and went
downtown down-about four feet,
where he rested solidly on a sand-bar.
The water for fifty feet Aroundwas from
two to four feet deep. and it was the
end of a sunken spar which had wrecked
us He came over to me and held out
his hand, but / waded away from him
in delightful manner. He said he was
only in fun, 2nd he offered me three
iish-hooks, a jack-knife, a ball of string
and big hunk of Petoskey maple sugar
70 resume friendly and confidential rela-
tions. In vain. A fisherman came out
and took US off the bar, and we never