St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-11-21
How It Ruined the Reputation {
Good Man and Drove Him I

How II Ruined the Reputation G 4
a Good Man and Drove Him TO
Drink.
Chicago News.
An expression of profound gloom on the
face OF friend led to inquiries which elic-
tied tale of sorrow and suffering. ''Do
look mournful?" he asked. do bear the
appearance OF man whose soul had been
entered bv the iron Of adversely? We l.,
that's the way | feel.
You know, moved day before yester-
day. Well. hurt by the unfeel.ng remarks
of my late landlady and the fact that 81 g
retained my trunk las a gage d'amour.
suppose). | sought the secluSiOn of We
side boarding house. The room is pleas
ant and the man who occupies the other
half d very nice fellow. Night before last
went home early. and when ready my
new chum boldly approached an Innocent
looking piece of furniture, and, after a
little sparring for time, let in with right
and left and brought to view comforta-
bic bed. had never seen folding bed be-
fore. and was little astonshed. How
ever. l made no remarks, but turned in.
Last night my chum was out, and didn't
know what to do. l loafed around the
TOUul, uOW dllu tIcll, CdotiliS d eiduCc d6 INC
folding-bed and admlring its cOmpactnesS
and air of gentllity, but somehow / didn't
feel like tackling it all by myself. But it
had to be done. l remembered that my
chum had first lifted up the top. l did that.
But when 1 let go 1t came back with slam
that startled the baby owned by the second
floor front into wild symphony Of woe.
Then sat down and thought. To gain
time on the bed l undressed. Say, did it
strike you as chilly last night? No? Well.
It was. Indeed it was cold. The combi-
nation of that fact and my abbreviated cos
tune urged me TO renew the attack. This
time l pushed the top past the center of
the spring. and when released it went on
with noise loud enough to arouse the pug
in the room across the hall. BY this time
was reckless. l raised strap and pulled.
The whole thing began to come. strapped
it half way and considered. Considering
was hard work. So was holding. 1
pulled. 1t came, and went But didn't
go far enough. and the bed caught me. /
was underneath The Charleston man on
the floor below dreamed he was at home.
well, when got out and took an in
ventory was minus considerable skin, but
the accession Of eyebrow balanced things
The bed was open, but the middle was way
below the average. But was too impatient
to be particular. With considerable empha-
sis turned out the gas and rolled in. AS
soon as | hit the bed it shut up-that is. as
close as it could. 1t was close enough. For
about ten minutes would have snapped
places with any one of the seven anarchists
aud given him odds. When | got out of
that place there was not enough left of the
bedclothes to make respectable bandage.
krow, because | tried it. What suffered
you will never know.
This morning the landlady informed me
that. had she known that was subject to
delirium tremens, she would have refused
the admittance that gave me chance to
ru the reputation of her boarding house
As left tue house the boarders poked their
heads out and whispered, That's him, he
had 'em bad last night and similar en-
couraging remarks. No, won't 60 back.
1t wouldn't be any use. Furthermore, I'm
going to change my politics. Two years
ago had lots of money and was prosper
Gus. became Prohibitionist. and have
had hard luck ever since. Henceforth am
for whisky, and plenty of it, Good-by."