The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-07-01
THE MERRY SIDEI

Many man, in "Ietting his light shine," fans
the flame until he blows it out.
The bottoms of the fruit boxes are beginn g
10 go down, as the season advances.
%A
"Oh, my wife's the cause of it all !" blubbered
a drunken loafer, when it was his father-the
Devil.
Question for statisticians-Are there more
Generals in Georgia than Colonels in Ken
lucky?
There is some hopes of little rest on the 4th,
this time. The boys will wear themselves out
on the Sd.
Old mother jeff. Davis has gone dry again.
She will perhaps be fresh before another CAM
paign opens.
You may not be able to climb rapidly up the
ladder of fame-but you can trip somebody who
is doing so.
About the only thing in this country that a
circus woman can't kick over is the Washing
ton Monument
The Colleges are rolling olt yo ung lawyers al
a lively rate What is needed now is place to
turn out q few clients.
-
The man who "travels for his health" gener-
orally manages, by being active, to get back
home in time to die.
The Democratic party does not look for Faith
and Hope, but it does think Charity might
make herself manifest.
-.s
Yes, Mr.. Payne, we're going to tell on you
lot I,t,t
Wen blow you out of the water!
A dispatch from Marietta says those saloon
keepers who didn't pay the tax, have quit"
So! There are some of them dead?
+x+
VIM. Mcguire, at Gallipols, fell forty feet and
struck board fence. 1t didn't hurt Bill, but
we're waiting to hear from the fence.
Gallipolis is going to start Savings Bank.
There few Ex-Councilmen over there who
would make good regulation cashiers.
The little boy-witb stomach crammed with
green apples, cucumbers and gooseberries,
laughs to scorn the cholera morbus crank.
-
The Cincinnati ball-club won q game the
other day, and it so surprised the local papers
that they were tempted to make a note of it.
Cleveland gave his wife a set of diamonds as a
wedding-gift. The good woman thinks of the
Jack Diamonds every time she looks at him.
A young man was seen talking religion TO a
Jackson doggery- keeper, one day last week.
Verify, that young man had faith to remove a
mountain.
"Give me fellow" said the professor, "with
a pronounced character-a fellow with some vim
and intensity about him." They gave him a
bed-bug.
Gratitude is prominent characteristic of
American youth. AS soon as kind, indulgent
old father is gone, they go right into Court and
make affidavit that he was an idiot.
A child chasing lightning-bug is q good
deal like man pursuing am bition's Turing
spark. But the child frequently catches the
bug.
"Ugh!" said the hog to his neighbor, lifting
his reeking snout from the mire, as a gentle
man passed by-"ugh! Poor fellow Lets not
him as Society manp'
#s#
Some of our exchanges occupy two to three
describing the s'snake-dance of the
Pueblo Indians" Nothing remarkable about it.
You can see it almost any payday in Jackson.
Young fashionables-"Do you think, Millie
that you will wear your costume at the ball en-
train ?" 'tNo, dear, think will wear it en-
~ "Oh, that will be perfectly lovely"
+.*
James Scallion, of Philadelphia, killed James
Brown by striking him with wooden leg, and
was acquitted, on the ground of self-defense.
Brown ought to have been able to get out of the
way of q wooden man.
The Democrats can't understand how seven
teen can be a majority of thirty seven. But
hey can't figure any. They couldn't under
stand how eight was q majority of fifteen, some
years ago.
The doggery- keepers of Fayette county paid
he Dow Law Tax "under protest" Certainly!
Anything that goes out of the DEVILS pocket,
goes out under protest.
Some people may have thought it strange
hat the Ohio Valley Editorial Excursion
iidn't stay longer at Charleston. The Salvation
Army closed all the saloons in Charleston.
Just the luck. Rain, and shine, until the
he fruits and vegetables rotting in the earth.
We never have any luck!
-
How suggestive of the Democratic party
That little bug, with his hopes all encased in
hat little ball, trundling it contentedly-and
lways going backwards.
CHOW will the Democrats go into another
loI,,
Why that just puts them in
lighting trim-the Democratic party has been
,anking on its misfortunes for generation.
Judging from their actions, a good many
peoples idea of Heaven is that of place where
here is great noise, and bowling, and con-
usion. Such people could only find true hap
,iness in a Democratic Convention.
A great many years ago, in a Jackson Court,
man was about TO be sent to the Pententiary
or passing counterfeit money. His lawyer
aved him-by producing the money, which
vas rs good as silver could be.
Tue Constablcs putting them in the pound
vas the clearest case of cow-hiding we have
,eaTd of. They held both horns of the dilemma,
hem.
When you're moving your yard and man
tops and leans on the fence, with patroniz-
ng loolx upon his face, go and rut your scythe
ght away-for his sake. He's going to tell
ie about his great powers as mower.
We can stand the lightning-rod man, the fish
story man, the squirrel-hunter, and all the rest
If the liars-but deliver us from the fiend vino
gets forty pounds of butter n week from COW
hat might use his mouth for stable, and have
plenty of room.
A Democrat convicted of Sian lering Mark
Sternberger, went to the Circuit Court to prove
MS innocence. But the Circuit Court thought
ne was bigger liar than did the Common
Pleas.
JEFF. Davis is perhaps wron gfulIy accused OF
saying he was "glad Lincoln and Grant were