davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
Up to Snun.

4 man who earns his living by travelling
about with lung-teSter was in Indianapo-
lis the other day. He was approached by a
tall. well-fed perSOnage who handed him )
cents and prepared TO blow into his machine
Hold On-hOh on minute" said the
street takir, eXcitedly, as he scanned his
customer a moment and jerked the tube out
Of his hand; 'ain't you Dan Voorhees,"
Il am ID. W. N"Orhees, replied the tall
man. in some surprise.
Then you can't touch this machine
wouldn't have it bust for $50. Here is
YOUR nickel. This amt no elephant lung
tester"
And shouldering his machine the man
walked rapidly away, as if he had had a
narrow escape.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
Candid LabOuchere.

have not the slightest notion whether
ally opinion that | entertain upon politics or
upon any thing else of a contentious charau-
ter is right. All that ! can say i that the
opinion is conclusion arrived at in my
mind: and the same process that 'eldS me Il
form the conclusion leads me to believe that
il is a right one. But how can know tEat
the data upon which the conclusion was
formed was correct; or, II 81 how can | tell
whether my brain forms just con"lusi, rs
from correct data, when | lind that the
same data fermenting in the brains OF Others
produce directly contrary opinion?
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

Everybody makes fun of fat man.
His friends guy him cheerfully, his lean
acquaintance make cutting allusions to
his bulk, his appetite is derided, his tailor
sympathizei with and even the Car con
ductors grin and pass remarks as he runs
after car No one hesitates TO make a
Joke at fat man, because he is supposed to
ee big and heavy enough to stand all such
merriment. And yet, in point of fact,
thert is no such sensitiYe creature in the
worl as man OF unusual girth.-Brook.
lyn Eagle.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
Look at our Dollar Derby.
Gugenheim.
Genuine Dunlap Derby at
GuQenheimS.


The Virgin Salt Co.. New Haven, Conn,
to introduce Virgin Salt into every family,
are making this grand offer: 4 Crazy
Patchwork Block, enamelled in twelve
beautiful cOlOrS, and containing the latest
Fancy Stitches. on large LithOgraph Card,
having beautiful gOld-mOunted Ideal POr-
trait. given away with every lO-cent package
of Virgin Salt Virgin Salt has no equaI
for household purposes. 1t is the cleaneSt,
purest and whitest salt ever seen or used.
Remember that large package costs only
10 cents. with the above present. ASK
your grocer for il.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
TIhi SPTI<. 7 bI Metis.

4. f. Colby. li3 so. Factory St:
should be pleased III knowing that every
intelligent family in Springfield had bought
lhe Encyclopedia Britannica. Being a Ii
Drary in itself. il makes quite all other
books unnecessary. Its American features
place it beyond criticism. The more one
learns about this mastery work the more
pnc realizes lis great value.
W. {. FALCONER,
Pastor First PRESBYTERIAN Church.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

On account of the Triennial Concave,
Knights TeIn"'ar. September 20 10 %. III"
|. b. Il W. will sell tickets t" the gencI
public at excursion rates for the round tr' ,
good going September Is to %. ami return
ing till September 30. A special train.
composed OF day coaches elegant SlerpelS 5
and chair cars. will leave Springfield at )
p. III. Sunday. September 10. running
through TO ST. Louis without change, arriv
ing at the latter place the next morning
1f --bO
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

The terms Never despair and while
there's life there's nope" are the mottoes ri
DR.. McMunn. Treats his patients TO cure
for schools OF ''pathys" whatever will ac-
complish that result. \ man of - years
successful experience. Consultations in
person or by mail free to all. Permanently
iocatcd at Springfield, O. Institute. labor
atury and diSpenSaTy at III South Mark, {
street. Hours s a. N. Ia = =. III.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

The steamers on the Pacific are all manned
bv Chimes, who make very good, willing,
sturdy, good natured sailors, 50 long as they
are well differed. These vessels are built for
freight, not passenger, service, and, conse-
qucm;ly, the speed and equipment are differ
snt on those Ci the Atlantic grcyhounJsn ~
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
How Women Would Vote.

Were women allowed to vote, every one
in the land who has USED DR.. Pierce's
'Favorite Prescription would vote it To be
an uufailing remedy for the diseases pc
culiar to her sex. BY druggists.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

Will give almost instant relief. will re-
move all inflammation. reduce all external
tumors, will cure chatting in two applica-
tiOns. All money refunded if it does not
give relief. Price 30 cents per box Sold
by Ad. BakhauS X Co., No. - east Main It
Pure Apple Cider Vinegar for pirkIing
wholesale and retail, at o. II. Neff'S Cash
Grocery. l4G Clifton street
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
See our immense stock of
so cent Hats just in. T. M.
Guqenheim.

For pickIing get O. H. Nef's Pure Apple
Cider Vinegar at his Cash Grocery l46
Clifton street.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
FOR RENT,

DOR RENT-A small house with two or three
I rooms with all accommodations He'll
cheap and small family preferred. CAil on "
address No.l D-ardorH Ave. from tog , ~.
DOR KENT-The large ST re room. > Nl'" y"
L - West Main street, ADJOINING '3hhS"n y
SON ; tobacco ST re. Wen paperrd and lighted
alley entrance IN rear; well adapted Tor a large
line of clothing. boots and shoes. dry goods.
groceries hardware or any retail or Mh"lr> th
business. Immediate possession gwen. IN
quire Of NJ. Steele. NJ
TOR RENTING houses on south Factory
L street Reasonable rent 20 good tenaLIs
Apply AT 22l south Factory street. OF al 'h'
go .s1ira 2Slt-
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

IIRA6ED From the premises Of the under
= signed this sept IN. lSN6 one gray pony
branded; had on leather halter, with long
rope attached. Compensation will be made Tor
its discovery. Geo. Spence 2s"b'
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
T. M. BUNTING,

Merchant Tailor and dealer in cloths and cas-
Simeres. First-c!ass goods. first class made
suits and Grst class fits guaranteed. BUSINESS
room in the old American house, west Main It,
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
UNO

nOT-ND by J. W. Miller. at |. B A ". cross
ing on Boulevard. 3 horses bays and ont
iron gray. Owner can have same by pay'ng
5ar,.,,aS .sHtHz
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
The President shoots a Deer.

Mrs W. 5. Huffman has been i'll for a
day or two
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

TANTED-tiirl, in small family, good wages
w Cali &N south Limestone st, cor. Maple 81
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

rE- Ne nbe-s Of the Pastoral Association are
requested 10 meet Monday Morning at II
O'Clock, sharp. WV. II. WARREN. Sec'y
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

JUANTED-A lady copyist and correspond
w ent GOOD salary 10 right party. Address
NJ GLORE- REPU BLlC office. sab
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11

JITANTEp-GirI. to cook and do general
w houSework. Apply at once TO - y. Mar
ket street 2>Sb
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
PEOPLES COLUMN.
WANTED

lTANTED-Two young gentlemen can md
W board aud lodging In a private family AT
lH3 west High street. ANm
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-09-11
Cure, No Pay

Pastor Firs, PRESBYTERIAN Ch
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
In Need Of New Laws.

A jew who had failed went to meet
ing of his creditors to see about CON-
promise.
"VeD, shentlemens, he said, Il thinks
1 bays you about vifteen Der cent, amt
i:?''
.We won't accept its responded
one of the creditors; ''we won't take
less than twenty-five per cent.
"Hast du gesehen! Der asset Won't
pay YOU but yifteen.'
"Well, we won't take it, tell you,''
responded the creditor. "We:d rather
keep the claims and collect them when
you get on your feet again"
s.Oh, veil, uf you're goin' to be mean
aboudt it dots all right exclaimed
the Hebrew. II vas goin, to took my
wife to Europe dis summer. but uf
you're goin to make fuss aboudt it.
W, rather than haf my reputation suf-
fer, I'll bay the other ten cents und
veil enly GO to der sea shore But ven
rebutable peezness men gets low
enough to sAeat boor weller oudt of
his vacation, I thinks it was dime We
got some new bankruptcy laws, so
henup me, Isaac. "-CA,eaqo Rambler.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
AMERICAN CHURCHES.
A Plea for Less Decorative illusions an
More solidity ana Durability.

A Plea for Less Decorative Illusions and
More solidity ana Durability.
However well-planned our churches
are-anu many OF them are admirably
arranged and excellently planned
their interiors suffer by the same de-
fects as the external design. Repose,
dignity and simplicity are rare quail
tiles. Gaudiness and oyer-decoration
are frequent, every inch of wall space
being tormented with stencilcd orna-
mentation, often in loud and inhar-
monious celors The different parts
Of the decoration oft5imes neutralize
each other, and give no rest or salts
faction to the eye. Sometimes, on the
other hand, these interiors are pain
fully bare and white, cold and dazzling
to the eye. To steer between these
two eyils-to secure richness without
ostentation. or simplicity without bare
ness-is not easy, nor is it often done.
Fortunately, ambitious flights INTO the
domain Of figure painting are rarely
attempted; for the failure is apt to be
deplorah1c and ludicrous,
Far less excusable, however, than
merely artistic faults, is the prevalence
Of sham in the construction Of our
churches. One would imagine that
here, ct least. honesty and sobriety
should prevail. And yet there is no
class of buildings, except tAeaters,
where limitations and sha,ns are so
general. Sanded wooden pinnacles on
stone spires and buttresses: sanded
wooden eornices and balustrades;
cheap pine pews AMI wainscoting
painted and grained to simulate costly
woods; brick columns plastered to re-:
semble stone, and lath and plaster
yaulting, pretending to be of masonry
these are al! SO common as to be al
most matters Of course. They are used
TO produce y false impression OF rich
ness and beauty. just us a vain woman
wears paste jewelry; and there is,
little difference between the two
motives. Does it never occur to
our churches that it is morally
wrong thus to pretend to wealth
and resources that do not exist? And
yet, did they but know it, the eye
gains far more satisfaction from a SIM
pie, well-proportioned, honestly-built
interior, where all>is solid and genuine,
than from a richly-decorated interior,
where all is fraud Of stucco and paint.
Their search after beauty is in the
wrong direction, since it ignores the
principle that the highest beauty in
architecture is based on good construc-
ton. A great reform is here necessary;
the builders tricks ana the decorators
illusions must he suppressed. Solidity,
durability, pecmanence, resistance to
the ravages of fire and time, must be
recognized as essentials in church build
ing, and far more important than much
gliding and 'sfrescoing." Until rhe
moral principle involved is recognized,
these disreputable frauds and shams
will continue.-lro: Il. <. n. Hanslin.
~ N Y. Independent.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
Room VS.. Company.

Little Freddy (to young Mr.: Poots,
who has come to call on his sister, Ju-
liza. that young lady not having yet APP
Mr.. Poots?
Poots oh, yes. I stop at the Squire
House, and have one Of the best rooms
in the hotel. What makes you curioas
about my room?
Freddy-Your company isn't very
good at the hotel, is it?
Poots-What funny question. The
company at that hotel is first class.
Why do you ask?
Freddy-Oh, nothing; only heard
sister Julia say the other day that your
room was better than your company,
that's all.
Poots didn't stop to see the young
lady.-Te1as Sittings.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
Overheard at Long Branch.

"Oh, A1narintha, isn't he handsome?
I'm sure he's German Baron"
$50 am I Cecilia. Such a military
figure! If We could only manage to
get an Introduction to him. -
; (When quite near to them the
''baron" meets a male friend, who
halls him with):
"Helloa, Jake Iandenschlager What
are you doing newadays?''
'<Vell, noting much, Meester Kohn.
You recomlect l vas broke up in dot
vite goods beezness. | dinks now /
buy nae out barber shop
1.-TWO terribly disappointed airts re-
cede dimly into the distance. )-Phila-
delphia CAL.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
SERVANTS UNION.
The Kitchen Girls of Melbourne Bande
Together in II Union.

Together in Union.
There exists in Melbourne a Dones-
tic Servants Union. 1t has issued a
circular in which it says:
The members of this society wish it
to be thoroughly understood that they
have not banded together for the pur-
pose Of taking any arbitrary steps
against their employers, such as an a$gi-
ts tion for eight hours. or any thing of
that description, as will be seen from
the objects under which the union has
been formed-namely
!. TO unite together for mutual pro-
lection.
2. TO give mutual support to its
members.
3. To endeavor to obtain mitiga-
ton of the difficulties under which we
at present iabor.
4. To establish bureau for conven-
ience and economy in obtaining en-
ployment.
5. To encourage and protect the legit-
ina te interests Of aforesaid union, TO
render assistance in cases OF oppres-
sion, and to endeavor to settle any dis
putes between employers and en-
ployes.
6. To establish home under the
management of the union for the use
of the members when out Of employ
ment.
Z. To establish sick fund for mn-
tual assistance to members in time of
sickness.
Our principal grievance is the regis
try Offices, which, taking advantage of
their monopoly, do not hesitate to ex-
tort to the full extent. The union in
tend to abolish this evil by the estab-
lishment of bureau where all profits
will be used for the benefit Of members
namely: towards the maintenance of
a home for members when out OF en-
p]oyment, where it is intended to conl
bine every comfort in as cheap man
ner as possible. The entrance fee has
been fixed at Is. Cd, and the weekly
subscription at 3d., with Id. additional
for the sick fund. This is expected to
cover all expenses and find employ
ment through the Office for AL mem
bers of the union without any extra
charge. Employers to pay Is. Sd. for
each engagement, or FL annually
Pail lNall Budget.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
Pursuing a Middle Course.

Young Matron with theories on
care of children, to nurse) Diane?
Nurse-Y essum.
Young Matron-When the baby has
finished his bottle. lay him in the
cradle on his right side. After eating,
child should always lie on the right
side; that relieves the pressure on the
heart. Still (retiectively), the liver is
on the sight side-perhaps, after all,
you had better lay him on the left side.
No. I am sure the treatise on infant
digestion said right side. On the
whole, Jane, you may lay the baby on
his back until / have looked up the
matter more thoroughly.-Lye.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
Willing to ob4ige Him.

Chief of Lynchers-Have you any
statement to make?
Culprit (suavely)-A request, sir.
Estate it.
..I notice this is walnut tree. Now,
as used to be paragraphist, t."
.'All right Wen hang you on that
chestnut yonder. "--Pailodelphia GaA.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
II in a streak of bad luck. y

Yardly:
I'm in q streak of bad luck
What has happened to you?''
''My uncle has just voluntarily sent
me check for twer ty-live dollars. y
''Where is the bad luck about that?'
.'You see I was just going to borrow
fifty dollars from him. and now can: t
in decency do it. The old scoundrel
has headed me OFF. I've been feeced
out of twenty-five dollars by the old
villain. ''-Te9us Sytings.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16

1t is suggested that Atlantic steam
ers keep on hand a number of honing
pigeons so that when boats become dis
abled particulars might be sent ashore.
~. 7. lduil.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16

Two new Polish priests from the do
cese of Cracow recently arrived i'll De
troit, where they will do duty.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16

The Rt. Rev. Thomas Carr. D. D.,
Catholic Bishop OF Galway, has been
appointed Archbishop Of Melbourne.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16

Subscribe for The Irish Standard and be
happy. All the Irish News for So per
year in advance.
The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
A Contemplate SwindIe.

Tom Anjerry, a somewhat dissipated
student at the University of Texas, re-
marked to his bosom friend, Bill
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-07-29
An Unworthy Squib.

We cannot think that the following
item taken from the editorial columns
of The Examiner, was published in
the good faith apparent on the face Of
the article.
Here is pretty fair example, from It'd
Bis, how men work when the amount of
labor is no object: HE was a carpenter
He had lifted his hammer to strike nail
Did he strike? Not much He paused,
then returned the hammer to his box. The
10 o'clock whistle had blown. He was
working by the day"
The above does an injustice to
thousands of men laboring by the day
or hour in Frederick county. While
we know many unworthy employees,
whose prime object it is to "pnt in the
time" it is none the less libel on the
honest and true man, who has his en-
ployers interest at heart and there are
thousands of them. The Examiner
owes them an apology for its heartess
sQuib.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-07-29
General News.

The bishops representing the two
branches of the African NJ. E. Church,
met in Bethel Church on Saturday. but
to failed to agree upon name
to unite the two bodies. The tenth
article, which was first discussed, pro-
vided that the eplscopacy be retained
and candidates for the bishopric ordain-
ed according to the usages of Episcopal
Methodism. After considerable dis
cussion the section was rejected.
A substitute tor the thirteenth arti-
Gle, offered by Bishop Hood, was adopt
ed. 1t provides that the two bodies
remain distinct pending the considera-
ton of the rest of the platform by the
various congregations.
when | 60 home" said Bishop
Turner, II shall Immediately set to
work to write book upon apostolic,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-07-29
HYGlENIC GUIDE.

HYGlENIC GUIDE.
Specially prepared for family and individual
use by three of Philadelphias most noted
Medical Men and Sani.arians. A volume
representing cast expenditure Of time and
money, and embracing ALL DISEASES
known to medical science with their proper
treatment by specialists of rorld .sotde reputa.
ton. How to Build, Ventiate, Light. Heat,
and Drain Houses and Physical Culture,
including progressive course in Calisthcnics
and Swedish Light Gymnastics, are among
the original features of this modern work.
Ervry line and illustration. including Superb
Colored Autographs never before cqualled
in this country, is new, ind the book stands
next to the Bible in value and importance
in the home Its HYGIENE teachings, if fol-
lowed. save any family ssren tenhs Of their
doctors bills. Bound in one magnificent
volume of nearly 1900 pages and over 300
illustrations and NEVER APPROACHED
for completeness and practical value. Send
stamp tor highest endorsements from the
leading papers in America. descriptive cir
culars and full particulars regarding agency.
Canvassers, capable of handling heavy
book Of sterling merits and large and steady
sale will be given an opportunity unequdAed
for several years. Address
JOHN E. POTTER & CO., Publishers,
CIT SAMSON St., Philadelphia, Pr.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-07-29
We Read the Riot Act.

When it once becomes a matter in
which we have no choice, but must
through the force Of circumstances
publish only such views as may happen
to be so milk and waterish that no one
shall have occasion to criticise them,
then it will be that the profession will
become dlstasteful to US and we shall
assuredly partcompany with it Instant
or and without ceremony.
We shall always endeavor to 80 con-
troll our publication that injustice shall
be done no one; that personal matters
shall never influence US, nor that oc.
casional correspondence shall appear if
it be, to our knowledge, to serve a per-
sonal end.
We are under obligations to our
readers, all alike, and shall always
treat them in a becoming manner, but
we are under obligations to no one to
the extent that takes away our person
al liberty of thought and the right to
express it. THE CLARION is our sole
means of support and to the end that
those who make it such may receive
the greatest possible return for the
money invested, it is not only becom-
ing but essential that it should hesitate
at nothing which in the opinion Of the
editor is proper, beneficial or necessary.
We shall therefore make no cOnces.
sions to error as we understand it, nor
make any apology for having espoused
any cause, assuming that, while faults
in judgment may be charged against
us, an open, manly, honest purpose will
be accorded us. To such as have not
that liberality, We may be relied upon
not to toady, while we have the manll-
ness to be able to differ with another
and yet respect him.
We insist upon our absolute right to
determine what may or may not appear
in these columns; who may, or may
net read it, is a matter in the control
Of other hands. We court criticism
and claim to be able both to withstand
and to be profted thereby; that is one
almost exclusive privilege of an editor.
Circumstances, more or less varied,
of recent occurrence, some of which at
least will be recognized by the reader,
have led up to tho topic treated in this
article.
As it has been our purpose, so it is
our fervent desire, that the position of
THE CLARION in matters of local con-
Germ, may not be one Of doubt or I'M
certainty, reckoning both its aspira-
tions and its privileges.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-07-29
Executors Notice.

TNHIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE. That the
i subscriber has obtained from the Or
phans' Court of Frederick county, Maryland
Letters Tcstamentary upon the estate of
DAVID TROXELL,
late of Frederick county, deceased. All
persons having claims against the said de.
ceased, are hereby warned to exhibit the
same, with the vouchers thereof legally au-
thenticatcd to the subscriber, on or before
the list day of February, 1887, they may
otherwise by law be excluded from all ben.
eft of aid estate.
A persons indebted TO the deceased arc
hereby requested to make immediate pay.
ment
Given under my hand this Gath. day of
July, A. D., 1886.
BERNARD COLLIFLOWER.
july295t Executor.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-07-29

historical and ecclesiastical ordination.
Give the Romanist views upon the
apostolic succession" interrupted Bish.
op Payne.
Bishop Turner retorted II say this
that we could 60 to the feet OF the Ro-
man Church in many things and learn
some sense"
"Yes,' replied Bishop Payne, "you
are going there pretty rapidly
Bishop Hood moved that the plat
form and articles of consolidation be
submitted-frst, to the bishops; Sec.
ondly, to the conferences, and, thirdly,
to the people. This was adopted, and
the bishops adjourned to meet again
next July in Atlantic City.-PH'la'
Enquirer.