davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
UNIFORM DIVORCE LAWS.

1t is to be regretted that the Episco.
pal General Convention at Chicago,
by which II was believed some definite
action would be taken touching the
subj ct of marriage and divorce, should
have disappointed the public eXpecta.
tion, Instead of taking the advanced
position which seemed probable and
practicable at one stage Of the pro-
ceedings, the convention did nothing
al last but refer the whole matter to q
committee and postpone it for three
years, or until the next meeting.
Three years is but small fraction Of
a century; only moment, as 1t were,
in accumulated ages, yet it is too much
that could just as well complete its
work in twenty four hours as in thirty
six months, where a question of this
importance Is involved.
A great moral need cannot be met
too promptly, and as all future enact
ments by Congress and the various
Sta'e Legislatures relative to marriage
and divorce must depend to great
extent upon the position taken by the
various religious bodies of the coun.
t,y, the sooner their settled policy is
determined on, the sooner may we
look for more effective and uniform
legislation.
In case like this, so deeply affect
ing the welfare of society and the most
sacred relations of life, the church can,
and should prove a valuable and ag-
gressive auxiliary to the State. Least
of all other organized influences should
it set an example of procrastination and
indecision. 1t Is believed by many
probably by large majority of people
who have considered the subject at all
that there should be uniformity in
our marriage and divorce laws. 1t is q
much more urgent necessity than tina,
of uniformity in the bankruptcy law
yet for some reason or other public
sentiment fails to consolidate itself IL
this direction, the churches hesitate
reform their canOns, the law makers
remain passive, and, OF course all Tho
evils attendant upon loose, disiont,t
system continue to multiply. Hence i
were better that the General Conven
tion should have thrown its weight int
the work and taken high ground n
once, What the churches do in thi
behalf will ultimately become the basi
of our civil statutes,
GOVERNOR Hill Of New York spoIl
at Democratic demonstration in Phlla
delphia last night. His speech was
virile campaign effort, and strongI,
impressed with the speakers aggressiv
individuality. The Governor has al
ways been found at the front when th
question of civil service reform wa
up, and Is invariably in favor of tina
reform; yet somehow or other he man
ages to win the admiration of those /
his party who think the civil servlc
law a most disagreeable and unbc
coming superAuity. So last night h
said that he wanted the people Of Penn
sylvania to advance true reform b.
electing their Lieutenant. Governor [
the full Goyernorship, nor did he neg
lsct to say that New York had advance,
reform In the same way, lie made hi
strongest points, perhaps, out Of wha
the Republicans had said would happel
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
GEN ERAL AND CRiTICULAR.

A K-street small UUy has as a companion
n dog about fourteen years old. The
other day the old fellow came into the
house with bell ett'chc to his cau1al ap.
pei dagc. He didn't Ike 1t, but the boy
prevented his getting it oil. Then his
mother saw II.
"Nby, Charlie" she exclaimed, "what
have YOU got that on Hero for? You
shouldn't treat the old dog that way"
"lt's just the ety lie, mamma" replied the
boy.
"But It ought to he around his neck, 4"
ihe persisted.
"Oh, no, It oughtn't. That's very old
tail, and thought It was time to put a
chestnut bell ON It,"
The stricken mother may recover with
careful nursing.
The poet who failed to get in his work on
the Statue Of Liberty ought to quit the
business and get job shoveing dirt on the
railroad.
: A new bonnet called the "Clevelaud" has
arrived In the milliners' windows. 1t is
very large around.
"My, my" exclaimed good temperance
worker, as he saw newsboy take drink
of raw whisky; "what dreadful thing!
And so young, too"
"Aw cheese it, Gully" said the boy, in-
terrupting him; "dat's all right. I was
brupg up on der bottle, don't yer know"
A young man had been employed to
solicit advertisements, and for two or three
days he went the rounds, and between
times had habit of telling the business
manager what he was going to do.
"Look here, young fellow" finally re-
marked the b. M, "don't you be telling
me all the time what you are going to do.
Tell me what you hare done, or keep
quiet.n
The young fellow picked up his hat and
went out. In half an hour he returned,
looking considerably battered.
"Hello, what's the matterg" asked the
business manager.
"You want to know what haze done
do you? Well, l will tell you. / went uE
to one Of them chaps that has been prom.
Using me an ad., and told him he had got
to let me have it right away at full rates oil
take the consequences. He told me tc
skip the gutter. But didn't. braced uI
| to him aud got him by he collar. Then
started to wallop him over the floor, bu
| the start was poor one and he wallopct
me back toward the alley door, where Il
wouldn't disturb the lady customers
kicked my coat,tails up onto my shoulders
iammed my head through the crown of IN,
hat, and fred me across the alley into
garbage barrel. That's what hare done
assisted by the advertiser"
"Well, It's pretty rough, amt it?" sait
the b. m, kindly.
"slightly, bu: have shown you coult
do something. Now, may tell you wha
Pm going to do?"
"Yes, 1 suppose you may, under tn
circumstances"
"Thank you. I'm going to quit the bust
ness. Good-by."
He did two things that day, any way
whatever his previous record may hay
| been.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
OF EXTENSION OF
~ MASSACHUSETTS, AVENUE.
OFFICE OF THE COMMISSIONERS
I.uuILI n. u..I- lL...I. I..Lt.r

WAsuNGroN, u. c., oct. Is, 1880.
Deemlng IL conducive to the public inter.
csts to open highway from the intersection
OF boundary and Twenty second streets and
Massachusetts avenue In n uorthwestwardly
direction, to and across Rock Creek, through
the lands of the heirs of Thomas X. Lovett
Evan Lyons, Gardner q. Hubbard, John W.
Thompson ana others, the Commissioners of
duly surveyed and plat thereof prepared
and filed In this office.
In compliance with the requirements of
law, notice Is hereby given Of the proposed
opening of the highway as aforesaid, and all
persons who have objection to present are
directed to attend Mt the Office Of the Com.
miseioncrs at fl a. m. SATURDAY, the 9th
day of November proN., at which time the
Commissioners will give hearing to all persons
In interest
Ty order Of the Commissioners of the Dis.
trict of Columbia.
WILLIAM TfNDALL,
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
FOR SALE-HOUSES.

DOR SALE-Very Comfortable Six
IL room frame cottage, at Hyattsyille, Nd;
near station; fruit trees and good well of
water; lot Is G0X2S0 feet; price, $1,000.
SWORMSTEDT ~ BRADLEY, D27 Il st n W.
EOR sALE-Cheap-A 1O-Room B.
II story brick house, all mod imps; 90 It
front; lot running back to n paved alley;
situated northwest. Address 1875 n j ave N
W, city.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
EQUITABLE
COOPERATIVE BUILDING ASSOCIATION.
ASSETS, SOL ,250.0O.
EQUITABLE

stock Is due In November, 1886, and can bo
paid and shares subscribed daily from $40 u.
IN. TO 1870 p. M, at the Office of the Associa
tion, 9l7 II street or at the monthly meeting
November 3, 1856, Z p. M, at National Rifles
Armory.
Pamphlets explaining the object and ad
vantages of the association furnished upon
application. -
THOMAS SOMERVILLE, President.
JNO. JOY EDISON, Secretary,
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

THE Boston Piiot predicts that In one
generation more that cty will become the
most distinctly Celtic city in the world.
OF the ll,0oO births last year, over 1000
ere Catholics
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

THE Bartholdi Statue-poetry is all
in, and THE CRITIc's stirring lyric
takes the blue ribbon.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
zSENEER/4W

BUSINESS COLLEGE, COR. NINTH AND d
streets northwest. A practical business edu-
cation that qualities young men and women
to support themselves and successfully per-
form the active duties of life. Thorough in
struction given In Rapid Writing the English
Language, Correspondence, Rapid Calcutta
tions, Bookkeeping, Business Practice, Com
mercal Law, Political Economy, Stenography
and Type Writing. Regular day and evening
sessions resumed WEDNESDAY, SEPTEM-
BER /, at o a. m. and 9 p. m. Office open for ar.
rangements by the year or quarter, ON and
after MONDAY, AUGUST %. a full corps of
teachers. Tuition fees, day sessions-Regular
business course one year, $40, payable $40 on
entering and balance In monthly installments
of $40 each; year scholarship, In full on
entering, $50; tuition per quarter of ten
weeks, $50, paid on entering. Night ses.
sions-Year scholarship, $50 on entering; 3
months, SIS, payable 50 on entering and bal
ance in monthly installments of So each or
Sl6 in full on entering. Illustrated Circular
sent free on application.
HENRY G. SPENCER. Principal.
MRS. SARA A. SPENCER. NicePrinepal.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
COAL, WOOD. Coal.
a. B. eMIT II,

a. B. @ NIT H,
Dealer IN flst,class Domestic Coal. Com
plete facilities for hauling coal direct from
the mines. Place your orders now before the
advance In prices.
Main Ollce and Yard, 600 New York ave.
Coal Depot, list and l. SITS. II. 0.
Telephone call, il0.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

should the Democratic party ever oh.
tain control of the Government, but
nothing of which has happened, and out
of the alleged Inconsistencies OF MIR.
Blainc's record Altogether IT was m
entertaining effort, and a great improve
mcnt on the stercotypod wcarisomencss
of the able politicians who had just
preceded him
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
SPECIAL. NDTICES

SPECIAL NOTICES.
e1yss UNITED STATES
ELECTRIC LIGHTING COMPANY,
Ofllce. $50 Pcnna. Ave.
The annual meeting OF the stockholders of
the company will be held At the Office OF the
company on TUESDAY, November ., 1886, at
1870 o'clock y. M, Tor the purpose OF electing
Board Of Directors and for the transaction
Of such other business as may lawfully be
done by the stockholders under the provl-
sons Of the charter
SAMUEL NORMENT, President.
WILLIAM DICKSON, Secretary.
eussNIRGINIA DEMOCRATIC AS
~ ISOLATION Rooms, 40 10th st n W.
will he open from a. IN. to 0p. m. every day
TO arrange transportation for voters.
n5yseFIRsT PAYMENT DUE ON THE
W. 18TH ISSUE.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
ERNAN'S Washington Theatre.

IN
Reduction in Prices n Great Success.
MATINEES TUESDAYS, THURSDAYS AND
SATURDAYS.
CHEAP PRICES:
10 and 25c. 10 and 2jc. 1Oand 25c. 10and 25c
A Mammoth Show at Prices to Suit All.
INTERNATIONAL. STAR SPECIALITY CO.,
Headed by the Great Sensation,
5-PAVANNlLLIS-5
In their Famous Act, MUSICAL PAYERS.
MAUDE BEVERLY, the Queen of Burlesque.
24-STAR ARTIsTS-21
In bill of rare excellence.
NIGHT PRICES-i5, 25 and soc. No higher.
Next wcek-Rcilly and Woods Big Show.
CHARLEsToN EARTHQUAKE.
DR.. E. P. ROWLAND will give two Lectures
on the Charleston Earthquake, Its Results
and Phenomena for the benefit of the Asso-
ciated Charities Of Washington, at the Ma
T1ONAL RIFLES ARMORY HALL, g street,
between 9th and 10th SITS. n. w, on WEDNES-
DAY and FRIDAY EVENINGS, Noyembera
and 8.
First Lecture Devastation of Charleston
Second Lecture. charleston and other
Earthquake Phenomena, and Illustrations of
the Progress OF Science and Discovery
Single tickets, admitting to one lecture, csc.
Course tickets, admitting to both lectures,
and including reserved seats, See.
Each person purchasing course ticket will
be presented with a cabinet sized photograph
of some results OF the earthquake.
Tickets, reserved seats and photographs OBJ
tanned at Ballantyne's Book store, as Sew
enth ST. n. W.
No reserved seats held after 10 minutes be-
fore s O'Clock.
Doors open at and Lecture will commence
precisely nj O'Clock.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
LOST AND FOUND.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNINN
I OST-A Small Blue Skye Terrier;
IL name Billy; owner Col. Ludlow; both
to 1908 ii st.
IL either In B, and r. II. II, depot, or on B
st II W, to Tenth VI, 10 Lewis johnson tS Co.'s
bank, two new twenty.dollar bills. Finder
can keep one If he will return the other to
sunday Gazette office. 935 D st n W.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

nIME MUSEUM,
- The Popular Resort OF the Peone.
Engagement Extraordinary. Change of Bill
Nightly. TIE LEO SXO BROTHERS, with
their Great Acting Dogs. Friday after'n and
night, Mays Devotion:' Saturday after'n
and night, by special request, "Bick From
the Dead" Admission to all only ten cts.
from Sing Sing,n
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

THE National Republican, alludes to
the great increase of marriages
throughout the country as one of the
good results of the improvement in
business. Our esteemed contemporary
will probably scorn the suggestion that
a Democratic Administration and the
example of a Democratic President may
have something to do with it; yet this
is the more reasonable theory.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
WANTED..-EOlISES.

WAN iEu---hUuSeo,
yNANTED-A Furnished House in an
w accessible part Of the city; not over $40;
sor 0 rooms. Address MRS. u. A. NJ. Critic
VUANTED-Fo u Young Married
w couple, house on Capitol Hill; rent
$50, or not TO exceed S25. Address CAPITOL,
Srll.o Lrll 0l-leo.
FOR RENT. .-R0OMS.
Adyertise,ents Of Three Zines under this head
Inserted three umes for 25 cents.
EOR RENT-SO7 sth st n W, Fur
lor, dlning.room and kitchen, LIST floor, suit
able for light housekeeping or caterer.
EOR RENT-Handsomeiy Furnished
II parlors, en- suite or single SOl 9th st II
W; references exchanged.
EOR RENT-Just Finished Corner
~ dining room and Kitchen, with range;
suitable for caterer, I'd room front furnished.
00l Sth 81 n W.
EOR RENT-One Furnished Room,
II with private family; price So: also two
unfurnished rooms. Call at so G st n W.
EOR RENT 4 Rooms;
n gas and bath. 736 10th st n W.
EOR RENT-Thres Desirable Rooms,
IL partly furnished. for light housekeeping,
LIST or I'd floor $40 and Sl2 pleasant location;
near Smithsonian. Address Q. IL. L., Critic
Office.
EOR RENT-Back Room, d5a N Y
A ave n W; se.5O per month.
EOR RENT Furnished Rooms, 1st
II and I'd floors; also parlors; back parlor
furnished as bed room; will rent single or Ell
suite, with or without board, at 13 Cd st ne.
EOR RENT-3 Unfurnishcd Rooms,
II suitable for light housekeeping $40 per
onth. ZIG st N W.
LOR RENT. 3 or 4 Rooms for
II light housekeeping; water In rooms; all
nod imps. az st II W.
EOR RENT-A Nicely Furnished I'd
II story front room; private family. 12i
9th ST u W.
NOR RENT-Handsomely Furnish sd
II rooms, on 1st floor; near Pension Onice;
to man and wife; no objection to light house
keellnG. llI II ~ u ".
LoR RENT-Rooms of All Kinds;
Il persons desiring such are invited To call
for list and fun infoi nation free. ID. q. PROF.
TOR a SON, Real Estate and Insurance, 1926
Fstnw.
VIOR NT-Furnished Rooms for
II gentlemen only, at so 18th st W.
Tor RENT-e3II NJ stn w, 4 Unfair
II nished rooms, SIC per month; references
exchanged.
L'OR RENTAL 1921 I st n W, Double
II and single rooms, with board also few
table bOarders accommodated; terms reason
able; location central.
NOR RENT-I5d a vt II c. Handsome
II ly and completely furnished rooms, en-
suit or single, in small private family OF
adults.
EOR RENT-Furnished Rooms, with
II or without board. with heat, gas and
bath; for gentlemen only; four on floor.
Apply AT goo II st ".
VTOR REET-Furnished or Unfur-
Il nisbed, . or communicating rooms, In
bav.window brick; excellent location; near
Smithsonian Institution. Address LOCA'
TION, Critic Office.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
BOARDING..

BOARDING - The Auburn House,
ID corner Pennsylvania avenue and Twen-
ty-second street; refurnished and reopened:
new auspices; permanent transient and table
board.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

"My, my" exclaimed a good temperance
worker, as he saw a newsboy take drink
of raw whisky; "what q dreadful thing!
And so young, too!n
"Aw cheese it, cully,n said the boy, in
terrupting him; "dat's all right. I was
brung up Oh der bottle, don't yer know"
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30
OCCIDENTAL iNFIRNIARY

n>7ye3- DIR. j. "A. MCLEAN, Dentist, Has
k2 removed Office and residence
TO 1905 l. st n w.
FIrst-class work at moderate prices. Gold
and Amalgam filling. Artificial Crowns per.
maneatly attached to roots. Gold.lned Rub
Der plates; satisfaction guaranteed. Gentle
treatment assured,
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

" ANTED--A Furnished House In an
w accessible part Of the city; not over $40;
8 or rooms. Address MRS. Il. A. NJ, Critic
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

Two Gautemalan druggists having
decided TO make way with the chief
executive of that country, prepared the
poison and handed it to one of the
Presidents servants, together with
1900, which was to be the servants
fee for administering 1t. Instead Of
doing so, the servant gave the whole
business away and handed the money
over to his master, The druggists
were promptly put to death, while the
President is 81, 600 ahead of the game.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

The poet who failed to get in his work on
the Statue of Liberty ought to quit the
business aud get job shoyeling dirt on the
railroad.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

: A new bonnet called the "Clevelaud" has
arrived In the milllners' windows. 1t is
very large around.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

w ANTED-ALL TO KNOW THAT DIR.
w Taylor e34 Il street, near Tenth, makes
beautiful sets Of artificial teeth for 81. guar
anteed to give full satisfaction; extracting
with gas, chloroform or local enesthetics, 90
cents; without, 25 cents flling at very low
prices.
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

~ @. YEAKLE, Practical Watch
VI. maker and ieweler repairs all kinds of
watches and iewelry In the best manner, at
1910 18th st W. 30 years experience.
NORA.-Let Me Hear From You ut
nupp. I will mnkp pyeryt hiny all risht,
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

THE next two years will probably be
off years with General Benjamin f.
Butler, so far as politics are concerned.
The present State campaign in Massa-
chusetts he regards as curiosity"
and as for National politics, why should
he interfere in contention where
craftsmanship on both sides has been
ostentatlously laid on the shclf2'
Next Tuesdays election, in the opinion
Of the ex Governor, will have no effect
whatever upon the tariff question, be.
cause there will be no revision of the
tariff by the Congress to be elected on
that day, neither party meaning that
such a thing should be accomplished,
because both want the tariff for an
issue In 1888. But while General
Butler is now out Of politics, as he
says, he does not intend to remain so,
as witness this utterance of his: "The
Congress elected in 1888 will make a
tariff in 1889 or 1890, and If alive and
well hope to take hand in that"
The Washington critic., 1886-10-30

y" ANTED-For n Young Married
w couple a house on Capitol lIll; rent
$50, or not TO exceed s25 Address CAPITOL,
Criiic Ofllnn.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-06-08
A Historical Bad Boy.


Many years ago there lived IN New Haven
q very bad boy He was born 145 years ago,
and as he is now dead 1 feel at liberty to
write his biography. Sometimes it is per-
fectly tiresome waiting for a man to die, so
that you viii feel perfectly safe in saying
what you think of him; but if he happens to
be a large, robust man it certainly pays to
do it.
This boy was known far and wide as the
meanest and VIGOROUSLY, hopelessly bad
boy IN Connecticut No other boy had any
claims whatever when he was around, and
for years he carried the belt He knew all
the little fine tricks of meanness and cruelty
at the age Of II years that it generally takes
lifetime TO acquire. Where others studied
all day hard to devise new kinds of wicked
ness, and lay on their stomach nights by the
light Of pine knot and patiently worked
out the more difficult problems Of meanness
and lawlessness, this lad seemed to breathe
1t all in the very air. His wonderful genius
as g successful bad boy was remarked by
those who did not know him at all He was
prodigy Of wickedness miracle of mean
ness.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-06-08

Whenevef any Of the dogs saw this humor-
GUS boy theA would conceal their tails as far
as possible and go to Canada till the bad boy
had grown up or died.
He loved to get little boys into his hands
and then duck them or scare them out of
their senses. He succeeded in Gripping sew
eral little schoolmates, and blew out the
teachers eye with cannon irecracker one
day. He loved to see his little friends fall
into his traps, and very few of his most init
mate friends succeeded in dying a natural
death.
could go on for page after page, telling
Of the funny pranks of this bad boy, if
chose to, and it would make you laugh till
the tears rolled down your cheeks to read
how he filed the asylum and the hospital and
the cemetery with his friends.
He was great lover of fun, and in one
evening scared three little girls with skull
covered with PHOSPHORUS and worked by
machinery so that they had fits all their
lives. He knew Of more ways to produce a
laugh and scare child into fits than any boy
of his age in Connecticut, and you must re-
member that this happened over 100 years
ago, when boys didn't have the advantages
they have how.
Everybody said that the boy would GER
tainly come to some bad end He could not
escape, they thought. No boy could be so
lawlesS and disagreeable and still amount to
anything. There were thousands of straight
laced Puritanical croakers who said that the
boy would sink to nothing whatever or land
in the penitentiary. He said, however, that
he was just sowing his wild oats, and when he
got his crop in he proposed to reform and
make his mark
Year after year he lived ON, just as full of
the "old scratch as ever. Now and then he
would burn barn, just to see the cows scat
ter and watch the farmer hustle out in his
shirt with pail Of water.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-06-08
STEAMER MOKOLI1,

tMcGregor, Commander,
Leaves Honolulu each Monday at p. M Tor
Kannakakai Kamalo, PukoO, Lahana Lanai, MoR-
turning leaves Pukoo Friday a. m. for Honolulu,
arriving Saturday morning.
HH- The Company will not be responsible FOR
any freight or packages unless rCceipted for nor
for personal baggage unless plainly marked. NOT
responsible for money or jewelry unless placed In
charge Of the Purser.
All possible care will be taken of Live stock, but
the Company will not assume any risk OF accident
SAML q. WILDER, President
5. B. ROSE, Secretary.
OFFICE-Corner Fort and queen streets.
6s-ly;;Msr 80
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-06-08

No1U and then he a0OuId burn q barn.
But observe how the prophesies of his
neighbors failed. 1t ought to encourage
every bad boy in the United States to-day,
whose relatives and friends speak harshIy of
him. This lad at last grew to be a man, and
was known all over the civilized world. His
name is familiar to every one, and in the his
tory of our great land you viii find long
account of him, and still he had the reputa-
ton of pulling frogs to pieces while they
were alive, and of leaving mud turtles on the
track for the passenger train so that he could
hear them pop, and of putting kittens On the
kitchen stove to watch them while they
danced.
Bad boy, do not be discouraged Hope ON,
for there may be future for you. Do not
lose hope when your parents talk back at
you. You have just as good a chance to be
known all over the world as the boy of whom
have told you. He was poor, too He had
to SOW his wild oats first, as you say, but he
steadily worked his way on, until at the time
OF his death he was known wherever the Eng
lish language is spoken as Benedict Arnold,
and everybody wanted to see him very much
indeed Even the sheriff, who wouldn't rec
oenize him at all when he was boy, walked
for miles and miles to find him and converse
with him, and when he got there Mr.. Arnold
wasn't at home. He had thought of some
thing in England that he wanted to go and
get