Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-03
BRIGHT BITS.

WHAT would be a good name for an an
archist's wife?' asked the snaEe editor.
Don't know; what won d"' asked the
horse editor.
"Wel, think Dinah might. "-AI6anv Ar
gas.
TIE only girl on record az having eoped
with circus clown IS Miss D,lia Grubbs. of
Cincinnati. Instead of painting her own.
she VIII have TO paiut her husbands face, and
may expect to have perfect treasure IN him
"hen IL comes to amusing the baby.
TELEGRAPH clerk treading over teleqram).
TO Mrs. Graobet, ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
grIef-deat9- ,40i-Aunt -Judlth-Will-in-
Our-fav0r.' Two words too many sir"
Mr.. G.-"Fh? Oh-rh?-um-um! Oh,
well. look here!-Cut out with grlef!'-
L 'sdoR Punch.
WHAT pre- ty children you have!" said the
new minister TO the proud mother of three
little ones.
''Ah. my little dear" said he as he took a
girl OF on has lap, ''are you the Oldest of the
NO, MAIN, " responded the little miss, with
the usual accuracy of childhood, my pas
oider'n me. "--H. Paul Herald.
gNO CHANGE IN HER.
When Maggie Mitch. was twenty
All, many years ago!
Ia youth and health in plenty
And happy days, you Know.
But now Pm stiff. rheumatic,
II y age is flfty-three;
She's still the maid dramatic,
Anu twenty still Is she.-EDchGn1e.
"THIRTEEN thousand dollars for the plumb
ing and ga, lifting in my house," he eXciaim-
ed. as he looked at the bill.
Yes, sir" humbly replied the plumber
But the building and land together only
cost me $4,000.
Exactly, SIR, but had to take into account
the natural scenery around the place. Ma
tural scenery Is always figured in our bills"
-Quis.
A REDUCTION NECEssARY.-Frierd Ito
young authorl-How is your book of poems
selling, Charley?
Young rirer tgloomily)-Slow.
Friend-Whsts the matter? Don't people
want poetry any more?
Young Writer-fes; but they won't nav 81
for my poetry when they can get a paper
edition Of ShAkespeare's for half the MONEY!
here's too much difference IN the price,
Puch.
THE WRONG DIAGNosIs-"Papa," she said.
softly and bl uShingly, young Mr. Sampson ia
10 the paror and wishes to speak with you"
Then she sank into an easy chair, and her
heart beat 80 fercely that it made the gas
fixtures rattle. Presently the old man re-
turned. sob. papa" she said, ''dld he-was
he-what did he want?"
"He wanted to borrow two cents to get over
to Brooklyn WITH" said the disappointed old
gentleman.-Neao York Stnr.
SHE was young woman in W ashington for
the season. and was very fond OF narratin9
her conquests and speaking of her powers
over men.
lie was bachelor with heart of stone and
a cheek of cast iron.
They were talking of love and matrimonv
and cognate subjects.
'Pve been engaged six weeks, Mr.. X. :" she
said, with refreshing candOr, IN view of the
fact that the announcement had appeared in
the society news the next day after the pro-
posal.
.Ah!" he said, with rosebud smile
| wreathed around an Interrogation point
| "How charming"
"Delightful, Mr.. a." she continued. radi-
Antly. "He was an old friend of our family
and he was so persistent. How long do YOU
think kept the poor, dear fellow waiting for
his answer" and she giggled a real swell
| gggle.
"Um-um-." he cogitated, as If calculating
an equation of time between IL sun dial and a
| Waterbury watch. "Um-well. | should saw
about minute and a half, possibly two min
utes."
There was an abrupt termination to the
| conversation and the brute was left alone in
the alcove where they had been talking
| Washington Crate.