The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
Jacobs Long Wooing,
THE trough TINE" THE GOOD MAN
HAD IN GETTING THE WIFE
HE WANTED.

THE TOUGH TIME THE GOOD MAN
HAD IN GETTING THE WIFE
HE WANTED.
owe he'd bully story down at the
Home Sunday last said the newsboy,
as he begged cigarette from the re-
porter. "Twas about Jacob, and the
tough time he he'd in getting er wife.
"All right, I'll tell it ter yer. Yer
see, Jacob and Esaur was brothers, and
Esaur was dead agin Jacob cause he
allus got the biggest slice of pie and wore
red top boots.
And Esaur SEE, sez he:
"'Pll do him up
And his mother sez ter Jacob, sez
she:
Goo and see yer uncle
''She didn'tgiye him nothing ter pawn,
cause they wore nothing ter speak OF in
them days except earrings.
"'Sides, sez she I'm not stuck on the
gurls in this naborhood and ef YOU went
out onto the plains you might ketch er
gurl what had squatted onto half cr sec
tion or sumthing.
Jacobs uncle, Laban, lived out West
and he'd two daughters, and the old man
and the old woman put up job that he
shud marry one of his cousins. After
putting couple of sandwiches in his
pocket he sherried, and he slept in box
cars and dreamed and ct blackberries.
They was just Citing ripe. An he
tramped till he KEN to er gang of shep-
herds what was tending Sleeps. And
he sez to them, sez he:
"'D'ye know an old party round here
called Laban?'
"And they sez, sez they, all to onct:
"'This be his range, and them's his
Sleeps
GLOW is his heallh9' sez Jacob.
"'He is purity tolcrable, thank ye,'
sez they"
"Jest then Jacob threw his gllms over
the perary, ,and there was Rachel coming
with Laban's sheep to the well for water.
She Tucked for all the world like Mary
and her little lamb, only she'd more
lambs than Mary. She'd her hair
banged and he'd er dress made all of one
piece, with the skirt throwed over her
left shoulder. She was ez purity ez
| yaller ribbin. Jacob was goner right
there.
"And be sez, sez he:
"Ah therer
'And she sez, seq she:
"'Don't stay there
"And Jacob made a grand rush and
kist her right there fore the gang, and
fore she knowed about it. Guess she
wouldn't kicked nohow, cause Jacob
was no slouch hisself, and he wore red
socks. And he told her who he was,
and she sez, sez she:
"'Fll go and tell dad
"And Laban was glad ter see his new
Wy. And Jacob sez, seq he:
"'Uncle, wants ter work
"And Laban seq, sez he:
Pitch in
"Lahan's other daughter, Leah, was
an old maid and he'd weak eyes. In 9TH
er respecks she was doing quite we'll.
Jacob made er good hand, and Laban
Uas sshon,aJ tn ori,-a him, Int b;s hoo r,l
and washing. And he sez, sez he:
"'What's yer sarry?'
"And Jacob spoke up ez one man land
he seq, seq he:
; 81 wants yer daughter Rachel seq
he.
"And Laban SEE, sez he:
"'Not muchr
"And Jacob purposed to work seven
years for board and clothes and cigar.
ette money eff he cud hev her at the END
of that time.
And Laban seZ, sez hei
Its CO.
"And at the end of seven years Lahar
he'd barbecue, and invited all the ma
burs. Speeches was made, and there
was great time. The presents was
num'rus and costly; and the table
groaned. Mite KEN on, and they he'd
no 'lectrlc light nor coal-ile in then
days, and the wedding tux place in the
, dark.
'In the morning Mrs. Jacob slipped
outer bed, and she seq, seq she, sorter tC
: herself:
: Where's my eye water?' SEE she.
: And then Jacob raised up onto hi,
elbow and he saw that he'd bin tux In
He hustled into his pants and went out
Laban was inherently sLelllng corn fol
ther chickens in the backyard.
"And Jacob sez, sez he;
Don't let yer shirt bile over th,
waIst-baud of yer pants, Keep yeI
g temper
And he guy him long line of con
versashin, and then he seq, sez he:
: you've got one of my gurls now
and eff you're so dead stuck on thuthe
: ye kin hev both eff ye works fur me sew
en- years more.
"And Jacob seq, SEE he;
"'rve nothing pertickler to do, and
might ez well muse myself that way ei
not
"And the sucker served seYen year
: more and then he was Mormon ant
moved out TO Salt Lake, guess. AnC
that's all"
e A VERY NATURAL MISTAKE.
A gentleman who had just arrived
from Boston last Sunday evening