San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-20
Written for the LIGHTS Holiday Edition.
THE EDITING COMPoSITOR.
BY "JEFF. JOsLYN."

The smart Aleck" printer (aided and
abetted by a careless proof-reader) Is
the bette noir of the writer's existence.
He has caused more double-barreled,
hair trigger profanity than any other
pest known to ancient or modern his
tory. His forte lies in knocking the
bean-iillng out of a poets sentiment by
little "revises" of his own in the rhym-
ster's versification, injecting extrane-
Gus matter into the humorist's articles,
and in gummixing things up generally
while setting up copy al his case.
To eXemplify:
A vealy, ardent lover sends in some
lines addressed to his SOULS idol, for
this model:
"Fair lady oh, my fair lady.
My heart holds thee supreme.
Since pleGgiDg me thy hand of silk,
Life's been one joyful dream"
Ye giZzardless manipulation of the
stick" sIaps it into cold type, thusly:
Land lady, oh, my land lady.
How very thin's your scheme;
In bringing me such blue skim-milk,
And swearing that it's cream"
Isn't such mutilation enough to insu-
late the most lamb-like sOnneteer with
n wOltish craving for be-lud in nine diff
ferent varieties of clots? (Methinks |
hear the public's united response:
well, should vociferate to vocalize w
Again, when the prose jester contrib
utes playful "skit" of about the 40
cents each, three-for-a-quarter" calibre,
VIZ:
why is picture that is sent to an
etching exhibition like a merchant fall
ing in business?' Because both have
gone to the wall" The sense wrecking,
point-spOiling follower Of the art pre-
sentative transmogrifles the answer into
a sentence that illustrates his idea of an
act of terrestrial bliss. but which is en-
tirely nOn-applicable TO the cOnundrum,
namely: because both have gone for a
'ball''. Then the butt of his malignant
didoes is mortified to Overhear unknown
persons In the street.cars with copy of
the paper in their hand, calculating:
WAT tirst-quality insane crank that
wOuld-be funny man is that gets up
these fsr.fetched jokes for the Slumgul-
lion ~ or That bum, IS witless
cOncOCtiOns ought to be rammed down
his throat with crow-bsr," and other
painful criticisms Ofhis literary prowess.
He also cuts up capers with the min
ister's sermon In the Monday morning
edition. The reader can Judge which of
the following ia the parsons phraseolO-
gy. and which is the quoin-slinger's:
"And when this wicked mortal, reek-
ing with the unpurged sins OF a lifetime,
is expiring in the agonies of an awful
end, then, his repentance-but alas, too
late-will manifest itself in these last
final words of advice, begotten of sad
experience, to his fellow man: Never
try to bluff .stayer' on one small
pair" The Mortified divine mayn't
know much about poker" but he'll
feel like breaking q good old heavy iron
one across the typos spinal Corinthian
pillar when his eye lights upon his sac
riligeously maltreated remarks.
In my high-priced opinion no further
citations are necessary to prove that
this member of the international union
mo. 2lS, 596, 43l OIL or thereabouts) who
"pi's" up the authors MS. till 1t looks
like Sanscrit tumble or an obelisk in
scription, is a large disagreeable wart
on the face Of the civilized globe, and
mayhemmed, hsri-karied, and eternally
combustificated. A blot on Americas
escutOheon, let US poor, down-trOdden.
spit-upon and misquoted geniuses Of the
press (including ''pstent insides'') revolt
against the tyrant of the composing
room, and with one ferocious onslaught
erase him from the Presentness Of the Is!
Yes. I've been a victim myself; and
have ''got 1t in for the Editing Com
positOr" with the same degree OF thug
gish venom as keep corked up for the
fellow who daily perpetrates this hOary-
headed, acknowledgements pun, on
meeting me: "Ah! still 'JOslyn' around
l seer"
If ever do take this job in my own
hands, mot waiting for my brother PEN
wrestlers to join me in the righteous
crusade) and unbottle my wrath in pro-
pria persona against the 4. c., there
will be phenomenally sudden death as
sessment levied among the Printers
Mutual Relief Fraternity for the benefit
of his bereaved family,-nOw you hear
me elocute!