The Portland daily press., 1886-05-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

A
and sweet smelling flowers the other morning,
for which she thanked him very kindly as she
placed them in tumbler Of water upon her desk
In the course of the morning the youthful gver
held up his hand and said "Please, ma'am, can L
wet my sp0nge?"
mo- said the teacher, "not just now"
The boy, however, was persistent; he appar
entity thought he was entitled to some especial fa-
yor, and he repeated his request in a loud tone
time more decidedly than the first, and at this the
petitioner gave vent to his anger as follows: "Say
now; only lent EN- to you; didn't give 'em to
you to keep" There was good deal OF human ma
ture in this. Children of an older growth some
times showa similar disposition
Prompt relief from sick headache, dizziness,
nausea, constipation, pain in the SIDE ETC., guar
anteed to those using Carter's Little Liver Pills.
One pill a dose. 25 cents.
"Well Johann, I see your friends, the anar-
chists, have been getting into trouble"
'Dond you told me aloud mine friendts dis
piSe does anarchists"
What is the trouble?
Vell, dey rents mine hall, unit drinks mine
peer unit vas rank anarchists; but ven dey
beats me oud of my rent and dond pay for mine
peer am in favor OF de law"
The well known strengthening properties of
IRON, combined with other tones and most per-
feet nervine, are found in Carter's Iron Pills,
which strengthen the nerves and body, and i'm
prove the blood and complexion.
''When hear stories of odd prayers" said a
certain colonel; Il always think Of one heard
offered by an old darkey down on Ship Island dur
ing the war He prayed:
% Lord ranshacly the worl' all ober on white
horse ana gle us all charity like bounding brass
and simple tingle!"
Dr. Soule's Pills. If you are billion, try them
they are mild, bnt effective.
.'And will you point out the different statesmen
to me as we pass them?' said lady to Mr.. Ev-
arts. They We're driving on Pennsylvania avenue.
81 shall be SO interested to know their names"
The experienced Senator smiled sadly.
Il will point out the different Congressman, my
dear madam" he replied, accenting the word,
but as for statesmen, why, you can count them
''Bave used DR.. Thomas's Electric Oil for croud
and colds and declare it a positive cure" Con-
tributed by VIM Kay, $40 Plymouth Ave. Buffa-
10, New York.
A circus was expected at the little village OF
o., and the inhabitants wereas wildly excited
over the event as the inhabitants of small towns
usually are. The coored population were partic-
ularly enthusiastic, but their preacher, the Rev.
Pete Jefferson, was loud in his exhortations
against it. He went so far as to threaten to expel
any of his congregation who dared spend their
the eventful night arrived the most conspicuous
person there was the violent parson.
why, Uncle Pete, what are you doing here?"
inquired one of his white friends.
Claw! Marse Henry, hates it nightly, san.
But Use de shepherd and Ise 'bliged to look ar
ter my flock. got my eye on cherry one OBJ dose
onchristian pop-eyed niggers, and you see if L
don't make EN- smell fire and brlmstone on sun
day."
SCOTS Emulsion of Pure Cod Liv-
er Oil with Hypophosphites as Rene
dy for Consumption Dr. I'll. j. PRATT, Montel-
10, Wisconsin, says after thorough test of
over two years. l voluntarily recommend ScOtt's
Emulsion to those afflicted with consumption"
story is told of Judge Duval, who was on the
Supreme bench for twenty-five years, from 1911
to 1886 He was a representative from Maryland
to the LIST Congress, and while there he and Will
liam Giles of Virginia, boarded with Mrs. Glib
bons, who had q daughter neither young nor tact
turn Giles and Duval became great friends, but
after they left Congress they lost sight OF each
other for a time. They met again in Washington
during ,JefferSon'S admin Stratl0n. They were
happy in the revival of old times, and were enjoy
ing themselves chatting alb out them until Giles
inquired of Duyal:
What has become OF that cackllng Ola hitla,
Jennie Gibbons?'
'she is Mrs Duval, sir" was the reply, and it is
needless to say that the conversation was iof u
time rather strained.
was subject to attacks of neuralgia sudden
and without warning destroying all hope OIL Sleep
and making it almost impossible for me to attend
to my business Athlophoros cured me. G. q.
Thompson, 273 State ST., New Haven CT.
"Are you sure he is dead?' asked the insur-
ance agent of the widow of deceased miser.
Certain of it,"
what proof have of it?'
There were 20 carriages at his funeral llal
ordered myself"
"How does that prove his death?"
"Ah sir, you didn't know him. If Tom had
been the least bit alive, he'd have kicked at the
expense, sure"