The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-09-01

DRfC.A-BRAC,
The truly great

Inc OattlC OF Ire
Is but Il strife,
And wc,n al must fight to win.
.-' ,Iet us. then,
.u As business men,
Proclaim to all creation
That those are wise
Who advertise
In every generation.
Alctter Of introduction-I.
Every bonnet has a "b" in it.
Proud lesh-The naughty a
a gentleman Of color-A painter.
4 worn glove is the image of its paw.
4 man on skates is necessary slipshod.
Tie photographers song: WAIT till the
clonds roll by"
Il is pleasant TO know that oysters "r' to
be "Unusually fine
Wives who arc always blowing up their
husbands arc domestic magazines.
When q baby is born it is usually rcd,
but it soon becomes a little yeller.
Silver still holds It's w in the way of
personal adornmcnt.
Roses, OF nj other flowers, arc preferred
for table decoration.
II is not safe to back luck against hard
work for Il long race.
PaintiH" on glass is all tho rage among
artistic young ladies.
The great study of politicians nowadays
is how TO make Il record.
Now Is the time to give attention TO
sewage and drainage.
1t is very English 10 go without your
ovc'cnat ihis weather.
The heaviest mash on record was when
truth was crushed L. earth.
Good taste is the result of Judgment,
not of wit.
\ blind man is very sympathetic. He
viii never sec anybody suffer.
y Boston boy calls himself Compass. b.
cause he IS boxed so often.
Fa>tidiOus men have every day canes
anu an extra one for Sunday.
ii has been well said: I'VE take less
pains To I've happy Than to appear So
Every dollar invested in permanent i'm,
pruyCmCut is that much on interest.
The patriotic citizen who is ''in the hands
of his friends" is now abroad in tho land.
We hear much about the pipe of peace.
Is not the stove pipe the pipe of quarrcls?
Lawyers dress pretty well. n~Otwithstand
inE tine fact that they occasionally lose n
suit.
isN ataNAAA i' - ~ Nl'l'l'NlNi llSi'IlCI III
company doesn't fall far shor, of being n
genius.
The man who advertiscs How 70 be.
come rich usually lives in an attic and
exists on free lunches.
The bravcSt boy will quail when he ~
pears in public for the first time after he has
had his hair cut by his mother.
Tine Boston girl never says 1T is rain
Ing piiohfoCks.' She says: 1T is raining
| agricultural implements
WHO Shall il bc?' asks a Chicago stock
yaid pactcss. We don't know, but who.
"ycr he is lie has our sympathy.
why do dogs have ncas?" a young nat,
rra!i>t asks Us. Dear boy, that's just what
tic dogs are anxious to know.
Money and time are valuable; but a man
may be miserable with both when he has
more OF either than he can spend.
Bangs having gone out of style among
young ladies, the rolling, pin and wash.
board begin TO look more hopeful.
Some statesmen arc continually putting
their cars to the ground To hear what DOS.
tcrtty will say of them.
Acting Captain NEWMAN had the Voluu.
'.rrS out last night for n drill, preparatory
TO tn" Lexington trip.
Why is n woman dcformcd when she is
mcuding her stocking? Her hands arc
where her feet ought to be.
Telling the truth about il afterwards
docs not make ii right 10 cut down n cherry
tree.
y Connecticut paper cnriehcs the Ian
@unSc with 'rcccntmost." 1t means the
latest.
Mrs. Grmdy says that people who are
supCIstiiiOilS can never be induced TO wear
pearls OF garncts.
syracuse has a bill collector named Child.
The people Of that city have a Child among
them taking notes.
Mr.. Gladstonc's enemies in London dc.
rive Great pleasure from repeating these
four lines of doggcrcl:
The number of men who are disappointed
in love doesn't compare with the number
who are disappointed in marriage.
Twas mt the tailors' convention where
the delegate arose and said that what the
country wanted was measures. not men.
Murder will out, - declares the provcrb,
and apparently in Connecticut the murderer
will out, too-out of the way of justice.
Many people contract disease simply
through the fear of il. The imagination
has a wonderful influence or the human
body.
The Italians who como to this country
must have a strong attachment for their
native land. They bring SO much of il
with them.
No musical man can ever claim the
proud distinction of being an American
composer until lc has written a "Prcsi
dents march"
Pushing the pencil is hard work when
You are quite three fonrihs sick. But a
daily paper is like death and taXcs--for it
knows 10 refusal.
Into power he comes the third time,
With projects so dark and so sinister,
That no longer VIC call him the Prime,
But rather the Pasthis,P Prime Minister"
kissing through a veil is allowed in Bos.
ton when women kiss each other. AS such
kissing Is mere lip service, without heart
the vol makes no difference.
Tho world Is making progress. undoubt.