davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11
He Produced the Pup.

1t happened on Western railway.
A showily-dressed woman of 35, with
poppy-like cheeks and swapping black
eyes, came aboard at Kansas City
with sore-eyed and vicious-looking
dog in her arms.
The conductor caught OH to the lit
tie beast before the train had gone
ten miles.
you'll have to let me take that
dog into the baggage car" he said.
"What for ?" snapped out the wo-
man.
"It's against the rules for dogs to
ride in passenger cars"
"He is such little dog"
That doesn't make any difference. +"
II don't see what harm he can do
when l hold him all the time. He
wouldn't bite a flea, anyhow"
This was not true, for the dog had
been doing his level best to bite flea
ever since he came into the car.
81 can't argue the case, madam"
said the conductor "The dog will
have to CO."
"Go where ?"
Unto the baggage car"
"I'll 60 too"
Passengers are not allowed to ride
in baggage cars"
"Well, take the poor little fellow
then, and if anything happens to him
I'll make this old railroad sweat for
it tw
"The company is responsible, ma
dam, for damage done to baggage"
at had better be! I'll make it
responsible for anything that happens
to- my poor little Bismarck. You
hear me! He's got to have water and
be fed at every station and have
something nice to lie on and be treat
ed like the little gentleman he is"
"He will have all necessary atten-
tion, madam"
He'd better! | tell you"
The train runs swiftly along for
half an hour. 1t is ten minutes since
it left a station. The conductor
comes inte the car in halting, half
hesitating manner. His face is cloud
ed. He seems careworn and nervous.
Approaching the owner Of the dog he
bows deferentially while a sickly smile
comes over his face.
BEG pardon, madam; but l be-
lieve you own the dog / took from the
car half hour ago."
Eyes, l do"
"Ab, yes-er-er-ah, thought
So"
"Well, what of it? Has anything
happened to that dog
well, you see, nam, the fact is
I-I-it-"
"Speak out Don't stand there
mincing matters And don't lie !!
What is it ?"
"Well, I'm very sorry, but the dog
got oose and jumped out mile or
two back, but I'll telegraph from"
Telegraph Why didn't you
Jump out after him : Why didn't
you stop the train? Oh, I'll-I'll-
now you produce that dog"
"Yes, madam yes, yes"
Produce the pup"
ITO be sure, the company is"
Produce the pup"
"The company is responsible and
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

"What is it that keeps you busy
writing so late in your study every
nightT asked Mrs. Yerder of her
husband. 81 am writing the history
of my life, Mrs. Yerger." II suppose
you mention me in it ?" "Oh, yes; /
call you the sunshine of my exi t.
ence." "Do / really throw SO much
sunshine into your daily life7" IL
refer to you as the sunshine of my ex-
istence because you make it hot for
me-" A rise in the Thermometer oc-
cured Immediately after the foregoing
conversatien.-Arkansaw Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

The word "full" has come to have
such technical meaning that it
makes one shudder to read that the
Prohibitionists of a given State have
nominated a full ticket.-Boston Re-
cord.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

If your wife prefers that her saddle
horse should be strong and muscular
rather than stylish and feet you ought
to know what kind of n one to Perch
eron.-Yonkers Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

Teacher-Can any boy tell me at
what time the sun rises now? Small
Boy (shrill and prompt)-Just the
minute father calls, down at our
house.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

The difference between two great
political parties is easily explained to
foreigners. One gets the offices and
the other gets left.-New Orleans
Picaynne.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

No man was ever so mean that he
could not give advice.-New Haven
News. Well, 60 on; what were you
going to say.-Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11
WIT AND HUM0R.

Hardly anybody would care to
change places with the turtle and yet
he has a great snap.-New Haven
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

A watering-place young lady is a
good deal like brewer. She cannot
get along without the hops.-Boston
Budget.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

A country paper, in describing the
effects of a squall upon canal boat,
says that "when the gale was its high
est, the unfortunate craft keeled to
larboard, and the captain and anoth-
er barrel of whisky rolled overheard"
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

Waking the echoes.-"Paul," said
his mamma, "will you 60 softly into
the parlor and see if grandpa is
asleepi"
eyes, mamma" whispered Paul on
his return, che is all asleep but his
nose. IN. Y. Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

A Sunday-school urchin thus in
forms his teacher Zone day Billy
come home holdin' little mole by
the tail, which bad boy had cot and
guy him, and it was alive. When my
sister see him she said: %, you crewel,
crewel, boy, thro' it into the fire this
minnit.' '"-Gardener's Monthly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

81 heerd to-day" remarked Mrs.
Bangwhacker, "thet young George
Sampson, who has only ben to college
u year, writ home that he is welded
to his Alma Mater. Dye know who
she isl" "No, an l don't want to
know" said Mrs. Whackbanger, cart
ter the way he carried on with them
Nipper gals las summer, an all the
time prob'ly engaged to thet Almy
What's-Her-Name.s It's enough to
make body weep."-Chicago Tri-
bune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

First Boy-"My ma says l mustn't
play with you, because your father is
nothing but a shoemaker" Second
Boy-"So's'your father shoemaker"
First Boy-"Ma says he's a manu-
facturer. He makes a thousand
pairs of shoes to your fathers one
pair" Second Boy-"Then he must
be thousand times worse than my
father guess l won't play with you
any more."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11
any more

Another bitter disappointment"
groaned Burlaps, as he staggered into
the Office and sunk into a chair; zone
after another, one after another.
What is life, anyhow, when ones
dearest hopes are dashed to earth just
at the moment of frution? "What is
the natter" asked his partner. "Has
that Catch e. Holdit scheme gone
wrong?" NO." muttered Burlap,
feebly, "that beastly young Groggins
stopped me just as / was going to
to sneeze. Brooklyn Eagle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11
JAMES EARINS, ". ID.

James Eakins, Physician, Surgeon and Ac-
coucheur, Graduate of Toronto University College,
Toronto, Ontario. Residence Mrs. Vandusens,
first house west of Episcopal church,, Washington
Ave, Apena, Mich. Office; Bostwick's Drug Store.
772-m6.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

Mission Teacher-"The object Of
this lesson is to inculcatc obedience.
Do you know what obey means?' Apt
Pupil-"Yes, marin; obey my pap"
"Ye, that's..right. Now tell me why
you obey your father?" "He's big
er'n me. Toledo Blade.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

a. NJ. +, NJ. AIT, Il Nt' n Du' 4 NJ
Mixed train leaves st. Ignace at 90 A. A., ar
riyes Marquette $3.50 p. NJ. Leaves Marquette 90
A. NJ arrives st. Ignace 8 IS 7. NJ.
CoHNEorIoNs-ul Via NJ. Il. Co.'S boat with Mich
IA an Central and Grand Rapids Indiana rail-
roads and with the elegant sidewheel steamers of
the Detroit & Cleveland Steam Navigation COM
pany for Detroit, Cleveland and all points in the
east, southeast and south. The boats OF this line
leave st. Ignace Monday and Wednesday morn
iors. Thursday and Saturday nights. lll With boat
lines for Sault 81. Marie, Chicago, Milwaukee and
all shore points, (2 With NJ. n ". railroaa ioI m
Houfhton, Hancock. Calumet, etc., and points on
Chicago n Northwestern railway:
standssd Central time. -Daiy. Daily except
sunday. ,Dnily, except Saturday.
A. WATSON, Il. w. ALLEN,
Cen1 Bup't, GenI Pass. * T'kt Agt.
Marquette, Mich Marquette, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11
Detroit, Bay City & AIpena R.R'
Time Table No. Z.
TRAINS GOING SOUTH.
Mail and Express.

All trains run by the Nneteth Meridian on Gen.
trail Standard time.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

Curious liberties are taken with the
alphabet;
The honey dealer robs his B.
The fisherman despoils the G.
The pugilist will black your l.
The billiard-player chalks his @.
Commercial Bulleton.
What a bad complexion Miss
Sloaper has"
"Well, she ought to have. She's
all the time doctoring it. Actually,
she puts sulphur on her face
sulphur! What's sulphur good
for I"
Matches. Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11
MICHIGAN C1ENTRAL

The Niagara Falls Route.
Arrival and departure of trains noted below as
follows:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-11

WANT GENERAL AGENTS.-s25 A WEEK
w and expenses, or so cents on the dollar, TO
wholesale my goods. A rare chance. No competi-
ton: Quick sales. Address +. NJ. WEAVER,
Adrian, Mich, with stamp 7sOmG
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24
The Pay of Some Ministers.

Mr.. Beecher, who has just returned from
England. had, by the way, very success
full trip, financially and otherwise. He
has a salary Of $4,000 year from Ply
mouth church. and refused substantial
increase which was at one time suggested;
he earns some Sis, 900 year by his leo
lures, and has a moderate income as an
author. Formerly he also received salary
of SIS 900 year as an editor. No clergyman
in the United States has ever received so
large pecuniary return from his labors as
Mr.. Beecher. In a single year he has
earned over $50 900, yet he has only very
moderate fortune.
His former friend, DR.. Storrs, has an
income of about SIS 900 year as a clergy
man and lecturer, lives in fine style on
Brooklyn Heights, one of the finest urban
localities in this country, and is said to
be worth $3.50 O00 He Is a we'll meaning
man, and is president of the Long Island
Historical society, to which, in his life of
busy idleness, he devotes considerable at
tentiun. He is, believe. one of the
wealthest clergymen in Brooklyn. In
New York the Rev, DR.. Morgan Dix, the
son of the late Gen Dix, is understood to
have fortune of 100000. One of the
clerical pets of the late half.demented
Mrs Morgan, the sale of whose art effects
made such Juror, is said to have received
and kept. as with death clutch, some
5000, 900 in government bonds, which the
lady, In moment of alteration, appears
to have given him.-Cor. Philadelphia
Press.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24

of the old time Presidents in the matter
Of personal appearance. He invariably
wore black broadcloth, and was scrupu
lousy neat in dress. He was heavy built
not stout, somewhat under six feet and
had head of beautiful outlne-his only
handsome feature Grant had light sandy
Whiskers and dark hair, and was of medi-
UNI size and weight. He was the young
est of Presidents, Hayes and Garfield
looked alike-both large and tall, of Aorid
compilations and good looking. Garfield
was the finer looking of the two.
General Arthur is the only President
who wore side whiskers. be was well
preserved man of elegant appearance. In
the matter of dress he ranked all his pre-
decessors.
President Cleveland is the first of the
Presidents who has worn moustache
on ". He is large and strong, but not
good looking and is fast growing bald.
N. Z. Sun.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24
Water as a Diuretic.

Water is. according to DR.. Bruton, per-
haps the most powerful diuretic we pos
sess, although fewer experiments havebeen
made with it upon animals than with the
others. The diuretic action of water
drunk by healthy man is very marked,
and it appears impossible to explain its
elimination by a mere increase in blood
pressure, whether general or local. It has
the power of increasing tissue change, and
thus multiplying the products of tissue
waste which result from it, but it remov, 8
these waste products as fast as they are
formed, and thus, by giving rise to in
increased appetite, provides fresh nutri-
menJ for the tissues, and thus acts as a
true tonic. In persons who are accustom-
ed to take too little water, the products of
they are removed. and thus accommodating
may give rise to disease. If water be freely
drunk by such persons, the products of
waste will be removed and health main
tanned or restored. Many equity persons
are accustomed to take little or no water,
except in the form of a small cup of tea or
coffee daily, besides what they get in the
form of wine or beer. In such people
large tumbler Of water drunk every morn
ing, and especially with the addition of
some nitrate or carbonate of potassium,
will prevent equity paroxism. Still more
numerous, possibly, is the class of persons
who arise in the morning feeling weak and
more tired, indeed, than when they went
to bed. Many such people are well fed,
they sleep soundly, and it seems almost
impossible to believe that the fatigue
which they feel in the morning can result
from imperfect nutrition, more especially
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24
The Negro as a Laborer.

There has been much written of late
about the negro as tenant and laborer,
aud many positions taken by the various
writer's, and as sample of his Industry
and thrift the following speaks for itself.
Within the past week have seen numbers
of them drivin into town in all kinds Of
vehicles loaded With fodder. and l made
il my business to investigate. when about
the following dialogue ensued:
"Old man what are you going to do with
that fodder 20
Il 'se gwine to sell 'em.'
"What for ?''
Il needs little meat. and thought 1 ID
bring this here fodder up and sell 'em."
sit seems to me, old man. that you
would need that fodder next winter and
spring.
II knows that boss, but yer see / must
have little meat to work on.''
what are you doing on the farm now?"
'W ell, yer see, we's done laid by der
crop and dar amt muffin now to do"
while you are doing nothing at home
why don't you work out by the day and
make enough to buy your meat and other
provisions 2'
"Well, rs work hard all dis year and !
wants some rest"
''Then you intend to sit at home idle all
the winter and eat up what you have
made and what you will need so much
next spring 7"
IL can't work all the time. anG I must
have some meat
This is the way they all do. Before they
will hire out for ges they will sell the
last thing they have around them, includ-
ing chickens, except the dog, which must
be kept in the family at any cost. When
the 1st of January 1887, comes, these same
darkeys will pounce down on the landlord
for credit, and he will haye to buy corn
and fodder for them. They will trade off
the last bushel of corn for tobacco or finn
sy toggery and useless articles.-Augusto
(Ga.) Coronicle.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24
Caught by a Virginia Farmer.

Mr.. I'll. P. Deahl, of this place, owns
large aplary and handles great deal of
honey during favorable seasons. Recently
he received a letter from merchant in
York, Pa. with whom he had previously
had dealings, requesting him to forward
to that place about 500 pounds of honey.
The sweets Of thousands of flowers were
duly shipped. with the understanding that
it was to be cash transaction. Judge
then of Mr.. Deahl's surprise upon receiv-
ing letter from the son of the merchant,
which, instead OF containing check. was
ferior quality. worm eaten. frozen, full of
old comb, and would be sold at Mr.. DPS
risk for what it would bring, Mr.. D.
decided to act promptly in the matter
He took the train that evening for York,
where he arrived quite early the next
morning. Not wishing to call too early on
the merchant, he sauntered for a while
about the town, and then dropped into the
store he had shipped to. Upon inquiry he
found that he was in the presence of the
sUUuS ludu WIZ udu -WlltOOIf UuO l0UGCl
which took him to York, and he asked if
he had any honey for sale. "Oh, yes,"
was the reply, II have fine article just
received from Virginia. and will show you
a sample of it, and thereupon he stepped
back and in few minutes returned with
sample of beautiful honey. ''Is it all
like that 2" asked Mr.. DeahL. eyes. sir"
said the young man. "HOw much have
you ?" Mr.. Dsahl next asked. about
500 pounds ''Are you sure the lot is as
good as that % he next asked, ''as I'm
Judge of good honey" Eyes, walk back
anc see for YOURSELF" said the young man.
"Well, I'm glad to. hear you say So" said
Mr.. Deahl, land I now introduce myself
to you'll am Mr.. Deahl, OF Berryville, to
whom you penned this letter. producing
the letter-''and the next time you under
take to play sharp game, be sure of your
man. first" If a thunderbolt had shaken
the house the young man could not have
been more startled at the manner in which
he was confronted by she person he
sought to victimizs with his rascality,
and he was compelled to hang his head in
shame.
Mr.. Deahl demanded his money, and
after few words check for it was issued.
He informed the would be sharper that he
was too young to engage at such tricks,
and started to leave the store, when the
father of the writer Of the letter entered,
and greeted Mr.. DeahI warmly. He ex-
pressed many regrets that his son should
have been guilty of such dishonesty, after
hearing from Mr.. D. the reasons that
brought him to York. Mr.. D. took the
next train for home.-Clarke (Va.) Cou-
rier.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24
How the Presidents Looked.

Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madi-
son, Monroe, Adams, Jackson. Van Blu
rem, Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor. Fill
more, Pierce, Buchanan and johnson
| wore no boards. Lincoln was the first
President who wore whiskers. Grant.
Garfield and Hayes had full chin wbis-
kers. Arthur wore moustache and side
whiskers and Cleveland wears the NOUS
tache and no W hiskers.
Washington was manly man, majes-
tic in proportion and of dignified bearing.
He was of the blonde type.
Jefferson was tall and elegant looking
with sandy hair and fair complexion. His
granddaughter is wonderfully like him in
appearance.
Madison was small and plain. He look
ed like well-to-do farmer. Mrs. Madi-
son had a majestic and queenly air, and
he appeared to disadvantage, physically,
in her company. Before she married him
she alluded to him to her friends as the
I little great Madison
Monroe was good looking man in his
uniform. He liked to wear the cooked
hat of the revolution, and held to it so
long that he went by the sobriquet of
''the last cooked hat.''
Both John Adams aud his son, John
Quincy, were stout, and the sou Was thick
set and short. The latter was quite bald.
Jackson was gaunt, thin, and PLAIN.
His eyes were his best features.
Van Buren, was an Insignificant look
ing little man, the least handsome OF the
Presidents.
Harrison was fine looking. soldierly
man even in old age, of noble features
and genuine dignity.
TYLER was thin and tall, and his nose
was remarkable for its size and plainness,
Polk was small and unattractive in per-
son and manners. Taylor was large
man of rough exterior, but pleasant, ge-
NAL person. Fillmore had a dignifed ap-
pearance without elegance, but genteel
and agreeable. lie was a large man of
good address.
Pierce was slight, handsome man of
delightful manners and winning voice.
Ben. Perley Poore, in his recent "Remin.
iscences, y says that he was the most pop
ular man personally that ever occupied
the Presidential chair. mo other Presi.
ident ever won the affection Of the peo-
pie of Washington so completely as did
he.n A1s successor, Mr.. Buchanan, was
,eoa.tly in bearing and was fine looking
man even in old age. He had a penchaat
for white neckties, which gave him cler-
ical look.
Lincoln. though sail, gaunt and homely,
nevertheless h1fa pleasing face when en-
gagged Inc 110f gar one
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24

plants, and our longer season distributes
the harvesting over several months, ena-
bling US to grow such crops at less ex-
pense.
Creameries have been started at the fol-
following named places in this State that
| know Of. while there are several more
under way: Aberdeen. Macon, Meridian,
Bolton, Vicksburg, fernando, Bluff
Springs, Starkville Agricultural College,
Crawford, Verona and Tupelo. The last
two are just starting. All of these cream
cries use either the Delaval cream separa-
tor, and they have been started within
the past Is months. So far as heard from,
they are giving satisfaction to patrons
Organizations for opening new factories
are being formed In dozen other places,
SO that we will no doubt soon have them
spread over che State. ''-Baltinaore Jour
nal of Commerce.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1886-12-24
The History of .Dixie. y

The song and chorus of Dixie" was
composed and arranged by Dan Emmett, a
member of travelling minstrel party,
who, while at Mobile in the winter of
1847- 43. heard some negro laborers sing
ing it on the levee while loading a steam
boat with cotton. The thought struck
Dan that with little change of measure,
1t could be made good song and ''walk
round" which generally winds up me-
gro minstrel concert. Dan arranged 1t
and produced it. It became a success,
and was sung and played all over the
country by all the bands. In the spring
OF 1861, Mrs. John Wood came to New
Orleans to play an engagement at the Va
rieties Theatre. During the time she ap-
peared IN Brougham's burlesque of ''Po-
cahontas" At the first rehearsal of the
piece everything went we'll till near the
close Of the second act; Tom McDonough,
the prompter, got up Zouave march and
drill by twenty-five ladies. led by Susan
Denim. Everything ran smooth, but the
music for the march could nos be fixed
up. Carlo Patti was leader of the orches-
ira, and he tried several marches, but
none suited McDonough; one was too slow
another was too tame, another not spiri-
ted enough. At length Patti struck up
the negro air of ''Dixie - s'That will do
Patti-the very thing" said Tom, and
''Dixie7' was played, and the march was
gone through with. and the march was
gone through with, and the chorus by all
the characters. AT night it received
double encore. and '.Pocahontas" had a
run. and from that time out, the streets
and parlors rang with Dixie" The war
broke out that spring, and the military
bands took it up. and Dixie" became to
the South what the Marsellaise lynn W as
to the French. And that's how Dixie
became the popular war song of the south