The Washington critic., 1886-07-20
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

Come all ye people, far and near,
And list to this sad song,
And, II ye have them, also bring
Your little boys along.
Once on time an Ingalls, lean,
Likewise Miller fat,
Both Greasians Of the butter class,
Knocked off each others hat.
1t happened In the Senate, too,
That place so digui1ed-
And Miller fat told ingalls, lean
He dasnt come outside.
And Ingalls, dasn't, but they fit
Right there upon the floor
They loaded up with butter balls,
And loud their mouths did roar.
First Ingalls, lean hit Miller fat,
And punctured him clean through,
And from the gaping wound, alas
The buttermilk just flew.
And buttermilk of purest brand
Stirred up with golden-rods,
The glory of the Empire State,
The nectar OF the gods.
Then Miller, fat, struck ingalls,, lean
'Twere butter had he not
The soap-grease squlrted all around,
And II was blistring hot.
It burnt the Miller's tender skin,
1t scorched the desks and CHAIRS;
1t took those Senatorial scalps,
Which bore sufficient hairs.
And as the Miller writhed in pain,
The Ingalls, laughed in glee;
When all ut once the buttermik
swept DER him like II sea-
" Help Help !" he shreked, completely
cOwcd;
But Miller, having died,
Was useless; and the Ingalls, sank
"For Grease die he cried.
Ab, sad the fate Of these two men,
Gone to their cOuutry's call;
'Twere butter to have fit and won,
Or not have TT at all.
EX-Congressman Harris, Seventh Vile
glnia District, has been doing some build
ding down in his neighborhood and his
brck-mason was not quite up to the stan
dard.
81 say, John,n lie said, ''you are not lay
ing those brick in workmanlike manner.u
~ aint, alnt I.n replied the mason,
swell, don't make no claims fer velocity
wv hlNtOsllN, iub lSI ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS :
an durability don't turn my hal' to no
mason in the whole State of Virginny,
Jedge, an efyou don't like my styllshness
you better git somebody else,"
The Judge accepted the apology and
watched the work little closer.
To Italy: You have cholera. We have
CouOrpss Saw nnthinp
UNITED STATES.
Nowadays when anybody wants to get
his name in the papers he announces that
he is going through the whirlpool in a
| barrel.
Senator Miller of New York is no dairy
man. lie says he has only got one dollar
| back for every ten he has put in the busl-
ness. A dairyman is man who gets ten
dollars back for every one he puts In.
Senators Ingalls, and Miller evidently
thought they were in Executive session
yesterday.
| DEAR CoNGER: have taken of my white
cotton-duck overgaiters. Now reoprocatC
by hanging that rose-tIuted vest on peg
in the wall until you are nominated for tht
| Presidency. INGALLS,.
Iebulon n. Vance ,may his tribe increased!
| Awoke one night from II deep dream OF
| peace,
And saw within the moonlight of his room
Making 1t rich and like lily In bloom,
A helfer, writing In book Of gold --
Exceeding grease had made the GoynOl
| bold,
And to the presence in the room he said:
"What writest thouy' The heifer raised he
| head
And, with look beyond what words car
utter,
Answered; "The names Of those who loy,
not butter"
"And is mine onef" said Zebulon. "Not
Replied tho hoier. zebulon spako low,
But cheerily still, and said; II pray thee
then,
Write me as one who loves his oleomar
gareu.h
The heifer wrote aud vanished, The mex
night
She came again with a great waltening ligh
And showed the names of those the cow
had on the llst,n
| ana 10, IeD. Nances name led all the rest
In dispatch concerning a Western storm
appears this; "The metal roof that wa
blown of the Watts Block was lodget
upon the Office OF a lawyer, who, the dal
before, had begun a foreclosure on tn
block" In the face of such testimony wht
viii dare assert that Providence Is not OF
the side of the lawyers2
Go tell It to the North aud South,
In classic Greek or slang
al. 90 tl.. r,,ll Il