The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-10-02
How Clncinnatus Received It.

Va 4 = is i
How Clncinnatus Received It.
, IToxss sistings.l
When the Roman Senate elected
Lucius Qulntus Clncinnatus Consul by
. handsome plurality, NOT withstand- i
Ing the Tammauy detection aud the
fact that Prohibition candidate was
sprung ON them at tho laSt moment.
they appOinted committee to vlslt
the noble Roman on his farm and an.
nounce to him his election. 81
They found him engaged In doing
his spring plowiug. Ashley approach.
cd him With all the dignity they could
command while stumbling acroes plowA
ed land la their long togae, he stopied
his oxen to ascertain who they Ware
and what they wanted.
"Most noble Roman" said the chair. 4
man OF the committee. In that deep,
sonorOus tone suited to the occasion,
tive are her"
ESQ see" said Luclus, cycling them
suspiciously, ssbut I signed Q contract
for some OF those patent bee~hives last
summer aud found 1t was q note for
$500 that had to pay at tho bank.
You can't play the green game on me
twice. =
"You mistake our mission alto
gether," said the chairman, with
offended dignity, tive are" q
"Lightning-r0d men, perhaps. But
I don't want any lightning-rods,
nuther."
"Deign, most noble Ctncinnatus. to
give me your attention for q few brief
moments =.
s.Well, hurry up, old hoss, and make
II short for I'm busy's mules tail In
fiy-time," and he sat down on his
plow-beam, tanning himself with an
old straw hat.
"The Republic is In DANGER" he
began, reading from long roll OF MS
that he produced.
"That sounds sort o. familiar.
'Nuther Election comin' on, ] reckon.
You're goln' to sound tho tocsIn, aln't
We? And mebbe you'll wave the
bloody shirt"
aThe Roman Senate, realizing the
exlgency of the situation, has elected
you"
eft there ain't them pesky coils In
In my garden patch again." cried Gin
einnatus, sprLnging to his feet.
"W.hso-a, there Git out Of that I"
he yelled, as no grasped his ox-gad
and started across the field to drive
them out.
When he returned he was persplring
and swearing like O Roman trooper.
"Blankety bank then blank colts," he
cried, athey'll jump any fence that
was ever made. Say, you fellers.
You don't happen to know o poke
thatil keep colts from Jumpin', do
ye ?"
, ssThe city which Romulus founded, !"
. said the chairman, scarcely needing
{ the interruption, "in casting about for
;: competent commander, every way
. adequate to the emergency that has
] overtaken us, the eyes OF tho Senate
o have turned toward you"
q aShaw! you don't say ~
r uYour steadfast championship Of the
o rights OF labor, your position on the
:. silver question. your uncompromisine
). opposition to the Chinese, your refusal
}. to avail yourself OF the franking priv
g ilege, and your scornful rejection of q
r. railroad pass while member OF your
l. town Council, the countenance thai
l- you gave to the carly closing move
Is ment, your defiance of Canada on Tho
,o fishery question, your"
ot UCome now, boys, let up?'
w tI our FcIu5al W uaVc yOuI poiuui
,e and biography published In book o
,e seminent men, your services as vol
ID uuteer fireman, the ability you dis
~ played as captain OF a militia com
I'd pany, your having never written com
he inunications to the papers, or show
lie yourself in an open hack In Decoratio
nd Day PROFESSIONS, your refusal to allo,
ed your photographs to be placed on salt
lis your never sending proof slips of you
Of speeches to the daily journals, nevs
te. making false return to the Tax Al
SCISSOR or wearing pointed-toed shoe
or parting your hair in the middle,
III. crying chestnut and above ali yo
invariabIe habit OF going to The pol
and voting the old ticket without
scratch, have induced the Senate
call you to the highest office in th'
fpift. the Roman ConsuIship!"
Cincinnatus was go overcome by u
time that he could only press
Speakers hand silently and lead
way TO the house, where he tapped
fresh barrel of cider and invited tn
sill 10 Join him In drink.
But he accepted the nomination
the same.