davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
The Cycl one Cellar.

A number of persons in this town are
building cyclone cellars underground
retreats upholstered with large lime
stone rocks into which they can crawl
away when a cyclone may happen to be
going through the country. Some peo-
pie feel above the cyclone cellar and
profess to be unable to see the advan-
tages to be arrived from using it as a
sitting room or sleeping apartment. We,
however, think differently. We would
much rather retire to some quiet, we'll
conducted cyclone cellar whenever there
appears to be well founded suspicion
that a cyclone is in the neighborhood
than to be obliged to spend the next
day chasing around the country collect
ing our limbs
1t may not look as heroic to go into a
cyclone cellar every nigh and set the
time lock on the door for nine o'clock
the next morning as it does to stay
above ground and fasten a notice to
each limb saying that ''this belongs to
So-and-so, the finder will please return, "
but it certainly will produce greater
peace of mind. No man can be at his
best with leg in Iowa, an arm IN Min
nesota, another leg blowing across the
British Possessions and detectives hunt
ing for the other arm.
A man may have three or four sets of
wooden legs and artificial arms but he
would hardly do for this country. The
difference might not be noticed in the
East but he would be put at great dis
advantage in the West.
We are going to build a cyclone Gel,
lar. 1t will be twenty-five feet deep
and with long, dark, narrow passage
leading to it. We intend to stay IN 1t
all the time to avoid creditors and if a
cyclone happens in the neig ghborhood
it will have just as hard work to find us
as they will. EsTELINE BELL.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
He Held the Torpedo.
THE DARING DEED OF A COURAGEOUS
OIL WELL SHOOTER.


A letter from Oleon, N. Y, says:
Dell Bankson, an old well shooter, went
to the new Kane oil field on Saturday
to torpedo the Craig & Cappean well,
which had just reached the sand. He
had lowered shell containing twenty
quarts of nitro -glycerine to the depth of
one hundred feet in the well, when he
discovered that the we'll was going to
make a flow. He knew that the force
of the oil would carry the topedo out at
the top, and if it were thrown upward
with the flow it would be exploded in
contact with derrick beam. If it es-
capped from the volume of oil it would
fall back to the ground and explode.
In either case Bankson knew that GER
tain destruction awaited him and the
property of his employers unless the
torpedo could be secured. With re.
markable presence of mind he placed
himself at the mouth of the well, and as
the shell shot up on the stream of
oil he threw his arms about it and held
it.
Even then undue haste and lack of
Judgment might have proved fatal, but
Bankson held the torpedo until the
squirt of oil had ceased before he re-
moved it from the well, although he
knew that only a few seconds
would elapse before the oil
would be followed by volume of gas
and a mass of rocks from the depths.
The instant the oil ceased he lifted the
shell from the well and walked carefully
and steadily away, carrying the torpedo
in his arms. He had scarcely turned
his back when the gas and rocks came
out of the well with roar aud rush.
When all was over Bankson replaced
the torpedo in the well, lowered it to
the bottom, and finished his work.
When the owners of the well heard of
the wonderful nerve and judgment dis
played by Bankson they at once pre-
sented him with a check for 800,
Bankson's conduct in his perilous situa-
tion is said by old well shooters to be
the most courageous in the history of
nitro -glycerine operations in the oil re-
glons-work that necessitates the exer-
else of constant vigilance, cool judg
ment, and steady nerves on the part of
the operator.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
How The Boys Cooked Chickens.

The military mode of cooking chick
ems is unique, and a description of it
sounds anything but appetizing, but |
have tasted the product and found it
good. The first thing to be done is to
dig a hole in the ground and the next
to build fierce fire over it, which is to
be kept burning briskly for half hour
or so and until good bed of Goals is
formed. In the meantime the chicken,
still wearing its feathers and ''innards, "
is to be well wetted and then incrusted
with moist clay to the thickness of
about an inch. The fire being in the
proper condition, the clay clad chicken
is placed in the hole and the Goals
drawn over it, and there it is kept until
it is baked done, or supposed to be.
When it is removed from the fire and
tho coat of clay is broken off every
feather comes with it, and the flesh will
be found tender, juicy, and of deli
Cious flavor. Before any misbeiever sets
the seal of his condemnation on this cul-
mary delicacy let him try it.-St. Louis
RepubEican,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
LEONALNLE.

Leonainie-angels named her,
And they took the light
Of the laughing stars, and framed her
In smile of white;'
And they made her hair of gloomy
Midnight, and her eyes of bloomy
Moonshine, and they brought her to me
In q solemn night.
In solemn night Of summer,
When my heart of gloom
O. Blossomed up to greet the conner
Like rose in bloom;
All forebodings that distressed me
forgot as joy caressed me,
Qying joy that caught and pressed me
In the arms of DOOM.
Only spake the little lisper
In the angel tongue;
Yet l, listening, heard her whispers:
''Songs are only sung
Here below that they may grievs you
Tales are tod you to deceive you
So must Leonanie leave you
While her love is young"
Then God smiled and it was morning,
Matchless and supreme;
Heavens glory seemed adorning
Earth with its esteem;
Every heart but mine seemed gifted
With the voice of prayer, and lifted
Where my Leonainie drifted
From me like dream.
attributed to Edgar Allen Poe.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27

JUDGE ScoTT of Lumpkin, Ca, keeps
a COW and horse, whose stalls are divi-
ded by a partition. Trying to reach
some gram that was in the horse trough,
the COW stuck her tongue through a
crack in the partition, whereupon the
horse bit two inches off the end of it,
The COW is likely to die, for she cannot
eat since the accident,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27

SAVED tramp walking on the Gin
cinnati Southern Railroad found laroe
steer fast in a cattle guard on the track,
and about the same time he heard the
roar of an approaching express train.
He lighted torch, ran toward the com
ing train, and succeeded in stopping it.
The passengers made up purse for
their preserYer,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27

My Calf Skin Business Is absorbing my capital time and
attention. and having decided to close out all of my other
branches of business we'll my miscellaneous personal
property and real estate offer for sale all the land own
except that occupied my business and my dwelling and will
dispose of same at very low figures and easy terms
payment
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
PARABLE OF THE BURGLAR.

A burglar was going through a house
in Canada one night, and discovered an
exceptionally large roll of money. Curl
Gus to know whether he had broken
into an editors house or that of some
other variety of capitalist, he turned to
the owner who had just awakened, and
said:
"Excuse me, Colonel, but I would
like to inquire how you came by such
an unusually large wad of wealth?"
"Sirr' replied the moneyed man, 81
am member of the New York Board
of Aldermen"
ga thousand pardonsw exclaimed he
polite burglar, dropping the money.
''Shake! We never steal from mem
bers of the profession. Good night'
-Esteline BeI
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
The Following is Partial List OF my
OFFERINGS OF REAL ESTATE

One dwelling barns. Sheds etc., suitably d
formerly farm
productive
garded selling VIII
800
fair budng good water good @ price s75o-2So
down. balance 80 per year.
village laborg man
wishes vegetables; price s5oo15o down
balance so per
Dwelling good building. new
good price 100000 down, balance per year.
Villages desirable
good pos $50 per acre b,
Will sell part o all
Hyde Park village To ensping and
young
timber lumber brick nails glass door. SASH shis
and lime wherewih to build respectable houses and allow payment therefor to
Land parcels Of two and three
s75, $780, s125 and $50 each
in Hyde village
hundred dollars but
made the lease vacated desired Pc
g. OOo-s5oo down, balance 500 per
Sixty lot lease land and not sub
subject annual rental $12 Will sell my equity
informed that within two miles of
sswm be cheap
for desiring logging job Terms $50 down-s2s in one and S25 in
dollars NJ stumpage reserved until am paid
of OF the
pond supplies Haskns mill Price $500
dollars stumpags reserved till lot
paid for
Belmont Mass within few rods both the Vt and
Fbburg Wvey Price $4Oo-Oo down. balance 30
will show believe that have placed vau
below what judges but determined h
myself the earliest moment practicable
desiring viii find this property well worth
their either OF the parcels OF real
confidently recommend AS CHEAP any one the above
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
APPALLING DEsTITUTIoN.

eyes, indeed, Miss Clara, ;" continued
Mr.. La Dedah, giving an account of his
travels, 81 have been in great perils,
don't you know. One time on a rail
way train out West, don't you know, we
were stopped by the train robbahs,
don't you know, and one fellow, ter
rible brigand he was, you know, he put
his pistol to me head, don't you know,
and he said, Your money or your
brains! and 'pon me soul, Miss Clara, 1
had nothing for him.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
SOLOMON IN TENNESSEE,

A certain Justice of the Peace who
lived in Tennessee, was once trying a
negro for stealing. Among the defend
ants witnesses was girl. 1t was very
evident that she was not telling the
truth.
The magistrate stopped her in the
midst of her testimony, and said:
''Do you know whar you'll go eff you
swar lie?"
eyes, sir" she replied.
"Whar?"
'Ill goter torment"
''Torment2 You'll goter Jail, en- from
thar you'll goter the plenipotentiaIy
thar's whar you'll go'
During the rest of the trial she spoke
the truth, the whole truth and nothing
but the truth. For the Jail had more
terrors for her than torment. "-De-
trait EJee Ppees
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27

During the last five years 66,OOO per.
sons have died Of consumption in Paris
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
A COwARDLF INsINUATIoN.

''Does your COW cringe and curl, ~
asks the New England Farmer, "and
appear nervous and fdgety when you
sit down to milk her?'
Well, not much, she doesn't. She
isn't that kind of COW, She isn't one
of your shy, timid, bashful cows. She
just fixes her eyes on vacancy with a
glare that will raise blister on an oak
knot, sticks her tail straight up in the
air, stiff as poker, plants three feet
firmly on the ground and then feels
around with the other for the milk pail,
milk stool, milk maid; finds them; fires
them up somewhere into the blue en-
phyrean, and remarking "Ha ha, :"
amid the shouting, jumps over a six
rail fence and tramples down an acre of
your garden. Don't talk about cring-
ing and curling to COW that has to be
MIXED with pipe line and pumping
station.
A TERRIBLE REVENGE.
'Iife," said the cynic, 'Life is not
worth living"
"No." said the damsel at his side.
"Why?"
Lille IS pore. Human nature IS so
tame, insipid, ridiculous, in all except
the vicious classes. Society in the ac-
cepted sense does not live, my dear
Miss Jones. 1t passes the time"
"And has lots of fun sometimes"
'ENever 1t believes it has fun; but
it's very sorry, stupid, dull fun. am
a cynic. People bore me to death. OF
course there are exceptions, such as YOU
-but-others. They talk and talk and
talk, and II sit and listen, and think
what empty, brainless things men and
women are. They weary me-"
"Well, why don't you take your re
venge2"
How"
''Talk back to them"
And the cynic grinned sickly grin
and dropped the subject.-San Fran
ciS~O Chronicle.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
CARROLL S. PAGE

Hyde Park. Vt, Feb 2. 1885,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
NOT IN THAT DIRECTION.

"No," said Mr.. Emo to friend, as
they stood looking across the broad st.
Lawrence, "you wouldn't like Philadel-
phia. It's slow, dead-alive, sleepy
old Quaker village. We New Workers
always call trip TO Philadelphia going
into the country"
"Guess that's so, replied the native.
'It must be quiet place. 1've lived in
Canada fifty-eight years and, come to
think of it, l haven't met a Philadel-
phian in all that time. Guess they
never travel"
SOCIABLE.
''Do you know Mr.. Fangle2" asked
lady caller, of Mrs. Snaggs.
"Oh, yes l know him and his wife
very we'll"
81 heard he was Socialist. Is that
so?"
"No, indeed, he isn't. He's only one
of the most unsociable men l ever knew.
Poor, dear Mrs. Fangle can't get him to
stay in the house one night in the
week."-Pittsbtrg Chroaicle- Telegraph.
WELL APPLIED.
Wife-''What is a chestnut, my
dear2"
Husband-"A chestnut, love, is a
story that has been told over and over
again. Why"
Wife, Nothing. Only it's funny
that you should bring a chestnut with
you every time you come home late at
night. "-LOaceU Citizen.
HE HAD SURE THING.
Patient-Oh, doctor, you don't know
how it worries me to think that | might
be buried alive
Doctor-Calm yourself, Mrs. B. You
need have no fear of anything like that.
Trust to me, and | assure you that you
ore in no danger. Boston Transcript.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
THE JOKERS BUDGET.
A LITTLE HUMOROUS READING FOR
THE LEISURE HOURS.
Down in Tennessee-Raisins were Riz-
An InsinuatiOn-His Reward-A Terri
BILE Revenge-StiII Waiting-DOts and
Dashes, Etc., Etc.
WAITING.

WAITING.
A gentleman who owns land over the
river, while strolling around his possess
sionS few days since happened upon
two indolent darkies of whom he in
quired why they were not at work.
"Well, boss" replied one of them,
''we's jest waitin' to see how desc yer
thins gwine ter turn OUT
"What things| inquired the gentle
man.
"D1s yer fuss twixt de workin' man
and dem railroads out yonder in de
Wess," replied the darky.
"Well," said the gentleman, "what
have you to do with that?"
"Why, boss, we done heard dat if
workin' men gifts de bes' of it dat dey
gwine to take all de railroads, and all
us workin' men kin ride whar we wants
ter free, and me and dis yer gemman
war jes' talkin' bout whar we'd go dis
summer"
You'll just go about as far as Jim
Smiths if you keep on your specula.
tions in that line, " remarked the gentle
man, as he started off.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-14
SOUTHERN,

Painter, Tongue & Co., wholesale
dry goods and notions at Baltimore, failed with
heavy liabilities.
The property of the Richmond Wing,
which last month suspended publication, has
been sold for $1,000 10 some Democratic
journalists.
The firm of Painter, Tongue & Co.,
Wholesale dry-goods and notion dealers OF
Baltimore, Nd, suspended "a the result of OK
tensivo embellishments by bookkeeper.
Sixteen convicts employed in the
mines at Coal Hill, Arkansas, escaped 10y tun-
neing thirty-fve feet, on which work they
spent three weeks Bloodhounds are pursuing
them to Indian Territory.
A warehouse in Louisville, KY, filled
with cotton, tobacco, mol,sses, and dry goods,
collapsed, and fire breaking out the greater
portion of the contents were destroyed col
ored porter, II. NJ Wright manager, and J. b.
Balmsforth, one of the proprietors, were
caughtin the debris and cannot be found The
financial loss is heavy.
Charles Williams fcolored) was
hanged for outrage at Cambridge, Nd When
urged by the ministers TO prepare for eternity,
he said at is too late
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-14
WASHINGTON.
Washington telegram: "An

Washington telegram "An Office
seeker who had been here for many weeks re-
turned home not long since without presenting
his case to the President He had very novel
reason for this strange procedure. He had a
very valuable ring, so he said, which he in
tended 10 wear when he called on the Presi-
dent Soon after his arrival he lost tho ring,
and feeling that his case would be hopeless un-
less the President saw the ring on his finger
he gave up in despair and left for home"
The Secretary of State has just re-
ceived and sent to Mr.. Ericsson, the distin-
guished inventor, the grand cross of the Order
of Naval Merit recently conferred on that gen
tleman by the late King of Spain.
Senator Van Wyck is to introduce a
bill promoting General sheridan to the rank of
General-the same that Grant and Sherman
had
Washington telegram: western SEN
ators are receiving letters in great numbers
urging them to oppose the confirmation of
Land Commissioner Sparks because of his re-
cent rulings. Mr.. Sparks was confirmed by
the Senate az Commissioner of the General
Land Office on the 25th of last March"
1t is understood that Secretary Whit
ney is satisfied with the seaworthiness of the
Dolphin, as shown in her recent trial trip, and
will formally accept the vessel as soon as csr-
tam preliminaries can be arranged Ii is not
thought necessary TO have another sea trial
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-14
WESTERN.

Marcus M. Towle, of Hammond, Ind,
claims that the bridge of tho Louisville and
New Albany Road swings upon his land The
other morning he ran tug and scow into
the draw and stopped mail train He
gathered a party of several hundred men to
force n settlement, and threatened to use hot
water on any one daring to Interfere. The
railway officials caused Towle to be taken ia
Indianapolis by deputy federal marshal, and
the peaitentary now stares the rioter in the
face
1t was determined ct Detroit that
Mrs. Knoch had died from pneumonia, and
County Physician in removing the top of the
skull to examine the brain Her two sons, who
had been arrested for her murder, were re-
leased
Hans Peterson, 60 years of age, who
lived near Greenville, Mich, shot and killed
his wife, and then sent bullet through his
own heart
Miss Ina Norton, pretty blonde OF
Cleveland, Ohio, was secretly married 10 Gus
Barber, negro barber.
Mr.. Louis Schaefer, of Canton, Ohio,
has again called the attention of Congress to
the case of the venerable Mrs. Merkleham, the
only living grandchild of Thomas jefferson.
He attempted to raise a fund for her in 1884 by
appealing to some hundreds of prominent
people and secured $40
Grading on the Burlington and North
western Road has been completed through
Prairie du Chen and for several miles north,
and la Crosse win be reached within a month.
Simpliner, Adler & Co., wholesale
jewelers., and William u. Doren & Co., shoe
manufacturers both Cleveland firms, have
made assignments. The liabilities of the for
mer concern are about $4,000.
At Battle Greek, Mich, the dead
bodies of Or Martin White, his wife, and two
children were discovered 10y neighbors who
forced the doors. 1t is suspected that White
killed the others and committed suicide
Ex-senator Thurman, who was Sc
lected by the coal-minors and operators of
Ohio to settle their difficulties decided that
wages should be advanced to 60 cents per ton,
at which price he thinks the operators can sue
cessfully compete with other districts.
ID. L. Wadsworth, former banker
at Ishpeming, Mich, was convicted of embez-
element in the sum OF $4,000
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-14
FOREIGN.

A gentleman who is connected with
a London news agency which supplies che
American press with much English news
wrote a letter to Mr.. Gladstone inviting him to
visit America Mr. Gladstone replied as
follows:
HAwARDEN, Jan. T.
DEAR SIR: do not regard such an invitation
ms you transmitted 10 me on the sd otherwise
than rs an incident requiring my best con-
sidoraton for chance that reflection might
open To me some way Of compliance. / am
sorry. however, to report that have not been
strength is not such would permit 70
| undertake voyage to America, and the inn
bera,.De aeioanaS 9i my 'iine anu 'hougne
| of political affairs allow no intermission Of
| attention, The invitation itself however. con.
stitutes a new tie of feeling with America.
| shall ever remember IL with thankful acknowl-
edgment, while the knowledge that so many
| friendly eyes are watching THO course OF events
I'm this country with reference TO Ireland will be
n new incentive TO the performance of patri-
| otic.and philanthropic duty. remain. dear sir
your faithful servant w. Il. GLADSTONE
He may possibly be induced to visit the
United States in the autumn, after the conclu-
sion of the coming session of Parliament
NJ. de Freycinet has concluded to
form a new French Cabinet
The Australian harvest is over, and
IL ~ cstlludtetl lndl bJ,oOO tOS Oh Wneat Will DC
available for export
Nj. de Freycinet has completed the
new French Ministry. He takes to himself the
places of President of the Council and Minis
ter of Foreign Affairs
The number of people who emigrated
from England to the United States in 1885
shows a decrease, as compared with 1884, of
10000, and decrease of 9,OC0 in the number
who emigrated to Canada, and an increase of
5000 in the emigration from Ireland to the
United States and 600 from Ireland to Can
ada
The Loyalists of Ireland fear that
homo rulc will be forced on the British Gov
eminent by the ParneHites In that event
Major Saunderson, member of Parliament for
Armagh, says the Loyalists would be com
PEELED TO fight, otherwise their throats would
be cut The same sentiments are echoed by
Colonel Waring. NJ 7. for Down.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-01-14

J. w. Hustled was chosen Speaker Of
the Assembly Of the New York Legislature
The Republican Legislative caucusst
Columbus, Ohio. unanimously nominated John
sherman for senator.
James G.. Blaine, ut legislative
banquet in Augusta, made an argument against
the biennial system of elections and sessions
recently adopted In Maine.
Washington special: "The Democratic
members OF the Committee on Ways and
Means evidently don't mean TO let the grass
grow under their feet Mr.. Morrison called a
conference of the Democratic committeeman
TO day. for tho purpose of developing their
views az to the best method of presenting the
tariff question to the House The consulta-
ton lasted about two hours, and disclosed
some diversity OF opinion as to the
best way to handle the question
Mr.. Morrison indicated preference for
horizontal cut while Mr.. Hewitt
advocated the adoption Of his bill, the leading
feature Of which is free raw materials. There
was n good deal of discussion growing out Of
the various suggestions Of the committeeman,
by which there was shown to be general dis
position TO harmonize upon some bill reduc ng
tariff duties, and to put it before the House
with as little delay as possible All were
agreed that it would be most polite to report a
bill that would DO sire not only to pass the
House, but that would also probably pass the
Senate. The reformers are in earnest, and if
they should fail to pass a general bill they will
attack tho high-tarif rates by piecemeal
through separate bills.