Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-06

reau. Josh Billings was in demand, and
could command one hundred and fifty
dollars for lecture. being called for in
first class courses; but he was Of that type
and grade Of lecturer who does his best
business when visiting place the first
time. He was then curiosity. Ii was
joke of his that he was once invited to
lecture In Pennsylvania town. He
went, bat found no advertising had
been done nor any preparation made.
He was referred to young man. who
told him he had been called there to adj
dress about twenty-five fellows, who
wanted 10 lock themselves in, chew
tobacco, and be comfortable. Josh
Billings agreed. and got his seventy five
dollars for that star-chamber lecture.
The only relevancy that the title, "Milk,"
had to the lecture of that name was that
Billings drank q glass of milk at its
outset. Such was the oddity of his life,
his thinking. and sayings. Here are
"Sum ov His sayings"
"rt II petter to no less than to kno so mulch
"a broken reputashun is like a broken
vase; IL may DO mcnded but always shows
where the krak was.
"If you kant trust n man for the full
average on honesty has always been u fail
ure.
IL q hard argument 10 beat.
"Don'tSnistake habits for karacter. The
habits. ~ " '
''There n cheats in all thIngs-evcn plzon
''1he man who IL thoroughly polite IL 2
thirds ov Chrlstan emmy how.
Kindness liz an instnkt, politenoss only
an art.
'Thsre in a great deal ov learning in this
world, which IL nothing more than trieng to
| prove what we don't understand.
mi dear boy, there arc but few who kan
commence at the middle of tho ladder and
reach the top-and probably you and don't
"Onc ov the biggest mistakes made yet Ia
| made by the man who thinks he is temper
ate; Just because he puts more water in his
whisky than his neighbor does"
Josh Billings had lecture called
'The Probabilities OF Life; perhaps rain
and perhaps not" The following is a
representation, the fidelity of which
many will recognize, OF Josh struggling
with that serio-comic feat:
In 1873 Josh Billings lectured at st.
Joseph. Mo-, to large audience. The
next morning he went into the First
National Bank, just across the street
from his hotel to get the proceeds of
his lecturc-some $500, mostly in 81
and 80 bills, exchanged for bills Of
larger denominations. The cashier,
josiah Hull, was temporarily busy.
and Josh turned aside to a street
window to await his turn. Joseph G.
Corby, proprietor of the St. Joseph
Gaxeitc, entered on business He had
heard Josh lecture the night previous,
recognized him at once, and engaged
him in a casual conversation, during
which Josh exhibited his "roll," re-
marking that as he was on his way to
San Francisco over the Union Pacific
line he was afraid they would charge
him for extra baggage if he carried that
big wad along, and that he had come
to get it reduced. In few minutes
the cashier was at liberty, the two
stepped TO the counter. and Cor y
courteously introduced Josh to Mr..
Hull.
why don't you introduce yourself
first7" said Josh, turning abruptly upon
Corby.
Corby made as graceful an apology
as man could who was half-em-
barrasscd and thrce-fourths mad and
they shook hands and were friends, but
Corby will never forget his first
introduction to Josh Billings. Toledo
Cor. Chicago Inter Ocean.