The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1886-09-03
Alarming Prevalence OF Microbes

~ 49,
article gu the above subject irot
the Through Magazine Of HUmo
and PdtkoS, and publish II Us re
quest
Everything is stunning to microbe
in these degenerate days. Ou
butter, potatoes and beer are on.
wriggling mass of worms, aud al
the diseases that once amused
free people, are now attributed L
the bugs.
A man can not have a violen
attack of good, old fashioned chol
era morbus, but what some physl
clan with a microscope finds tha
he has become an incubator tor llttl'
beasts, and the dear old pains II
the stomach that afforded US 81
much pleasure and spiced our hap
piness in boyhoOd are said to be {
national convention of bGcjHi.
The commonest form of diarrhes
is directly attributable to Il picnic
of animated commas, and even true
love is so mixed up with worms that
il fellow is afraid to kiss his best
girl, lest he should crawl of and
die. 1t a fellow finds his lungs at
variance with himself, he at once
imferS that the bugs have cOngre-
gated for a pulmonary caDp-Ineet
ing, and if his heart %palpitateS he
has to lie down under the cOnvic.
ton that a lot of m~ischievOus young
| germs have gone swimming in his
life blood.
Ii has come 10 pass where the
birth OF new baby IN the family il
directly traceable to speimdtO@OidS
or other diminutive reptiles, and
one of these days some lOp-eared
scientists will come 10 The front aud
scare the wits out OF society by
proving that that fatal complaint is
about to become epidemic. Thele
is no safety for mankind amy longer.
We are doomed to be infested by
worms all the days of our lives, aud
iu death we are promised that they
will be continued in iii next, like
Mrs. Southworth's exciting NaruS
in The New York Ledger.
From the cradle To the grave, We
are assured that we are but pOrta
bile battIe-hrIdS tor unregcurratr
bugs, aud all the'CffortS of ply s.
ch0lOsy aud MISUNDERSTANDING
are being bent to the task of prov
ing that civilization only adds To
our wormy condition. All The tri-
umpbS of art, Sciencc and religion
are but the wrig1iugS ut intinlteSi-
NAL worms, and all the beauty Ol
heart, face and mind, which SWARM
about us, is but Il glossy cocoon
wound about creeping things.
Before this awful discovery was
made, Il yOnng man could Kiss his
beloved at tie garden gate and 20
home aud sleep sweetly aud enjoy
pleasant dreams ut rosy lips AND
bright eyes and other intoxicating
Entertainments tirreuntO belonging
aud to them ]apprrtliui =, but Low,
in this age Ot progress, he presses
his worm-eatel lips to the bug-iu
tested cheek of bis darling, AMI al
that moment when he should fee
The wavcletS OF bliss Surgiug up his
spinal column, he bears the voice Oi
conscience cry Ing rats" and lH
willis and seeks his couch to dream
of lOatlSome worms.
Fur my part, | do not tia
scielIcc for revealing all the ZOOlo,
ical phases OF life to me. 1t has
gradually impaired my digestion t.
sit down TO the table, convinced
that the formerly palalable dishes
have priced so much are but insects
aud craN ling thugs served up il II
variety OF Of styles. Ii makes mr
i'll to think that | was a tool when
| referred in a SARCASTIC tone 10 the
grub of the plain aul m~OStrniiOuS
Digger Indian. | sOwrd the bug
ia so doing, and now | am reaping
the humbug in brOddclOth and
bushes. | have seen my appetite
pine away and die in contemplation
of its own baseneSs, aud Us watel
has been scientifically discovered
to be tue bug juice of the age, i
have sworn off drinking it. l ha\ G
pledged myself TO my witlIered
stomach not to look upon the water
when it is wet, and nov | drink
nothing but harmless whiSkey and
gin fiZ. | have eSchewed the sherry
cobbler and the rum punch because
there is vile water therein. | only
drink that which has never known
water except by reputation. l pre-
fer the worm OF the still to those
active little wrrtches that do not
know how TO he still. 1t gives ne
more rest, aud my stomach seems
to he better cOntented in its pres.
euce.
Science has carried its great bus
theory too far. 1t has made OuI
lives Que great COB of sadness aud
soured the wine in u cellar o.
existence. IL has robbed us of OuI
stomachs aud turned our lives over
in sorrow. Ii has made Il happy
world dyspeptic aud wretched and
paved the road that leads TO :
drunkard's grave. 1t has revOlu
tionized life and made death terri
BILE, and 1t has made it necessary
to again revise tie Holy Book, fol
that old expression, ''Earth tC
earth, dust 10 dust, and ashes tC
ashes" will not work. 1t should
read : "Germ 10 germ, bug TO bug,
aud worm 10 micrObe.'