The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1886-01-07

1t was a Harvard sophomore who 9Ad0
the other day when told that girl had
once taken the highest classical honors
OF the college: 80, well, you know the
girls have nothing to do but study. We
fellows really have so much else TO at.
tend to that we don't get much time for
booksr'-BoStog Record.
Gogglesop-"very stupid girl, that
Miss Wilpin.' Hamworth-''How SOP"
''Why, you see, we were guessing conun. =
drums the other evening, and asked
her what the difference was between IRS Et
self and donkey" ''Wella" 'WtlRS
Why, by Jove. she said she didnYk
know" Philadelphia Times.
Bank President-You say you are 9
able to made the books balanceP CaAh
ier-Yes, sir. There is 8 shortage q
$40 900. President-H'm. think It wil
be well to call in an expert accountant
Cashier-That won't be necessary, sir
To strike balance you have only
call in my bondsmen.-M 7. Sun.
Deacon Bucrag had been invited
address the Sunday-school, and, Is
was poor talker, plunged at once
/ the story Of Jonah and the.
Now, dear children" he
sis not that nice story7n '9Hes5=
replied one of the smallest of the
children, '.it's nice story, but
| chestnut. IN 7. Times.
@Remember, Mr.. Crimson
therSare older ones than
table," said Mrs. ShayepennY
| TO remark the gentleman
| of the table made. 81 am
aware of the fact, ma'am.
sonbeak's only reply, as hek
and made another attempt I'd
YonkeTs Statesman.
An Ulster County (New Yorl
woman sued young man for
her 100 times against her VIII,
her case. The court probably dg5s
that a young woman who eJuld keep
such an accurate tally Of the kisses given
and received could have arrested pro
ceedings befote 100 were given u sns
had been very anxious to do 50.
Sixty-three of the students Of Wesleyan
, University, Ohio, were severely repri-
manded for attending q performance 0
Orchard Ill" The faculty Of the co
lepe, it is inferred, labor under the tui
! preston that Richard Ill" is s spec
} tacuIar drama, with q ballet OF tht,Ez
3 three young ladies of assorted agez
. | no sldrts.-NoTTSst0tS Herald
"What makes it so dark In the e
) when the sun goes doWnp inquire
Q little bay FLY In the looss box,
Q cause, child replied the gray cart
0 in the stall, 'sthfs is the equine
"What kind of an OK could ths
o asked the Berry OK In ths next
- ment; and then all the family
3 great, dark barn kept silent
Q little mule with zebra legs
q hay, ma'maF'-BrookLyD &c
Recently in q Sunday-scho -
S from Springfield, Mass, the super
- dent had given out to be sung hyn
y in the Gospel Hymns. when al
q puIsive singer started CT with q 50
y so. in the SundAy-school QnaI
% which reads:
10 / did net love The fold.
o Finding himself alone &C the en-
the second line he subsidized, HkeE
school, with as much sobriety pcs
took up the song given outs Is toai5.S'
sThere were ninety and nisse thst -
In the shelter OF the ted;
p Far or" etc
There is q little curly-headed b
= faced boy IN one Of the suburbs VIC
= fair to equal IN quick Wit the herct
y s.fIeIen,s Babies, This little 1l5af-
= old was told By his father to 20 %
= and bring down g book f1r I'm
, urchin looked up slglF fEQz1l ssllss'
long eyeIashes, and. 51lssous So
word. held oHl his hard - Bat
foEg's Inquired 10 $3.50 7=ea
3 ssEEon6E Vas tbs -.
q IsDig. A.fere
- tifs f1rs Den s 5.@ls
S 10 desc things 5l.l-
6 piled the 5onzf ,sEzs1
Iist soFezlz e119zs