Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-03-19
TIE MAN WITH A LIVER.
EsurdeIte Runs Across n Fellow VIII
his Liver cut of order.

his Liver cut OF order.
had such pleasant companion on my
way home from Aurora. He got on at
Bristol and took dinner at the "COsmo-
pdiitan." He sat with me at dinner, and
didn't seem TO have much appetite He
groaned when he took up the bill Of fare,
and sighed as he looked across the table
ut my order, and then shook his head
dulefully and told the waiter 10 bring
him little boiled trout, with egg sauce;
bit of boiled mutton, with caper sauce:
some roast beef n trihe rare, just taste
Of roast lamb, turkey with cranberry
sauce, mashed potatoes. roast duck, some
pork and beans, Boston style, stewed to-
matoes corn, turnips, squash, a bit Of
cold tongue, some sharp relish and cup
of coffee Then he ordered some assorted
cake, cranberry pie, Indian pudding and
ice cream for desert, and said he felt q
darned sight more like dying than eating.
If he dies as well as he eats, just I'M
ngine, just think, what a glorious tri-
umphant death that man will die.
Shortly after dinner the poor man came
into the coach and sat down opposite me.
"Ah," he said, with deep groan, II
don't know what l wouldn't give il could
cat like you"
'ISir p | said, in q fine burst of indigna-
lion, for feared he was going to accuse
me of swallowing my knife every time l
took a bite of pie, and just made up my
mind that would cut his heart out if he
limited ut such a thing.
ooh, it's fact" he replied; 81 haven't
enjoyed meal for years"
"Was it possible?" l asked, in amaze
ment.
"Indeed, yes" he said. ppm all out Of
fix. Pye no liver at all to speak of"
81 didn't suppose one liver would be of
any account 10 him. | rather thought
that if lie could get Il couple of gangs of
livers, and work them by reliefs, II by
might be able to help him along, especially
i, he had them made Of tin. But then lie
was q stranger to me, so didn't feel justi'
fed in making the suggestion.
NO" he continued, any liver is no
more account than a lump of lead. l
| suppose" he said plaintively, otis us big
as four of yours"
And he looked at ME with an appealing
| glance, as though he expected me to take
my liver out and let him examine it, as
| though it were an oroide watch be wanted
! to trade for.
| Now, if there is anything in this wide,
+ beautiful world that will make me mad,
| it is TO have man who is ailing sit down
| and bore me with n list of his diseases
| and q detailed account OF his anatomical
| arrangements. And the men of free
! America, it seems to me, would rather
! talk about their perishln2 livers than their
never-dying souls, and it always makes
me mad for man to come at me and bur
den me with complaints about the tor
| pIdity OF lis liver, as though were his
physician. am proud to confess to the
blindest densest ignorance concerning
my own innerlife. don't know whether
my liver is round or shaped like gun
case, and [ don't know where it is, and
| don't care II continental, although | al
ways had tie impression that it was just
under the shoulder blades. So said to
the man with great enthusiasm:
ooh, do tell me all about your liver! !
should so like to know all about it. am
SO interested in such things"
The man looked q little surprised at my
sudden enthusiasm, but he said there
wasn't much to tell about it, 1t was as
torpid, he said rs snake in December.
"Oh, charming, charmingn exclaimed
"And is it tame? DO you let it run
around loose or do you have to keep it
chained up?'
The stranger stared, and looked as
though he would like TO sit little further
away. He said he didn't just exactly un
derstand me.
"And how is your spleen" l asked
eagerly, "and your ventricles? And do tel
me about your thoraic duct, and how dc
you get along with your tonsils? And
have you raised any new bones since saw
you last; add when did you hear from
your diaphragm? Do tell me all about
all your viscera; make clinic Of your
self und tell me the Christian uames o.
all your bones and the appurtcnancC'
thereunto appertaining. Tell me-"
But he got up and slowly backed out o.
the car, and the conductor shortly after
ward told me that the man with Il live
told him that the man who escaped from
the asylum at Jacksonville last week was
In the rear coach.