Middletown transcript., 1886-09-09

NEATLY TURNED.-Young Candid
=" Did you ever hear euch. horrible
discordant, ear splitting, internal
Old Proudfut- -" Sir-r-r! That's my
eldest daughter, and" Young Candid
I'll repeat, sir, such internal clatter
as the idiot behind us are making.
Why, 1 can't hear a word Of the
song. "-Tidbits.
EXCITEMENT IN TExAs.-Great
excitement has been caused in the
vicinity of Paris, Tex, by the remark
able recovery of Mr.. J. E. Corley,
who was SO helpless he could not turn
in bed, or raise his head everybody
said he was dying of Consumption. A
trial bottle of DR.. Kings New Discov-
cry was sent him. Finding relief, he
bought large bottle and box of DIR.
Kings New Life Pills; by the time
he had taken two boxes Of Pills and
two bottles Of the Discovery, he was
well and had gained in flesh thirty-six
pounds Trial Bottles of this Great
Discovery for Consumption free at DR..
j. Gibson CarrolPs
TAKE my card TO Miss Smawkins.
will wait here" The missus has
gone out" Very we'll; / will
wait" "I'll send down her father,
sir" "On second thought l won't
wait. -Philadelphia Call.
thousands samn.;so Of sssss Of Con, Con-
cured every year by Ackers celebrated
English Remedy. 1t is o guaranteed prep
sration; If 1t does not help you It viii cost
you nothing. Try it. A single dose wiz
show its good effect. Trial bottles 10 cts.
r. GAYLORD BRA GDON. DRUGGIST.
CUSTOMER" Waiter here is but
ton in the soup" Button. sab, yes,
sab, guess dat's alr right, sah." Gus
toner" It's all right, of course, but
] thought perhaps button-hole went
with it."-Life.
-" GENTLE As THE BREEZE OF
EVENING. This line of an old hymn
is quite appropriate when applied to
" Pleasant Purgative Pellets" "I
don't like to take pills if I can avoid
it, we often hear persons say, "be-
cause they constipate me So" Now
the Pellets" never do this. They |
are SO gentle and mild that their ef.
feet is almost precisely similar to a |
natural movement of the bowels, and |
no unpleasant effects are left behind.
-" shall never forget my trip on |
the steamer through the St. Lawrence
rapids" he said. Il never spent a
more exciting time in my hfe."
/" What impressed you most? ?" The
other fellow had an ace full. It'd
Bits.
In nursery where all is life
and laughter there is sure to be found
DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup. rs cents.
ALL persons Of costive habits should
keep supply of DIR. Bulls Baltimore
Pills, whose use insure safety against
constipation. They are pure
= WHEN the horse can't get green
food in the winter Days Horse Pow
der becomes necessity.
MA1DENs sigh for Drexel's Bell
Cologne.
War with Mexico ought to prove
a blessing in disguise. The big hats
worn by the girls resemble Mexican
sombreros, and, Of course, in case of
hostilities the dear creatures would
abolish them -Philadelphia Herald.
PHYSICIANS recommend DIR.
Bulls Cough Syrup, when all ether
medicines fail, as a certain cure for
bronchitis, sore throat, and coughs or
colds of long standing. For sale by
all Druggists. % cents.
For there was never yet philoso-
pher that could endure the toothache
who could endure the toothache patti
entity" Perhaps not-but there's lit
lie wit in enduring it at all, when one
bottle of Salvation Oil will cure it.
Conductor-Here, there, man
what are you about +? Citizen-Notb-
ng much, my friend ; I'm a director
On the road, and have family to sup
bort. I'm merely ringing up some Of
he fares you missed on the down trip.
Mo sns msra sls epsy pisysyssd sssI by SiRSs- pys
,epsia, use Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets.
they are positive cure for Dyspepsia, In
digestion, Flatulency and Constipation.
We guarantee them. 25 and 90 cents.
J GAYLORD BRAGDoN, DRUGGIST
A writer in an exchange de-
ounces the common house fly with
nmeasured terms. While unmeasur-
terms may prove efficacious, we
now that folded newspaper across