Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-21
BRIGHT BITS.

Disguised KENTUCKIAN-And what do you
suppose the Earned tram stopped forF
Chorus 0f Kentucklaus-GIyeit up.
ID. k.-Whv. for water.
c. of K.-Well, wen be darned .--Losoeu
Ottisea,.
HUSBAND going fshlngl-Good-by, WHEY;
won't come until late unless catch some
thing.
Wife--If you don't come until late, hubby.
you VIII be sure To catch something, you hear
me:--2ecds Sittjn0s.
EXCUSE NE, dearest" he said, disentan-
Cling himself. Then he stalsed to the end of
the veranda, aud iercey handed: boy,
what are you lurking about the gate for at
this time o. night?"
"M0rnin' papers, sir !"--Hea0 York Sun.
A NATURALIST has satisfied himself beyond
doubt that the average cat travels distance
OF eighty miles every night. Then it must be
the other cat that sts on the back fence sew
eral hours every night. loudly complaining of
the high taxes or something.-Norrist010n
HerGId.
OLD LADY Suffering from hiccoughs, to
drug clerk)-Y Oung-man, l want to-get
some liquor
Clerk (hastily)-Can't do it, madam. You've
mad enough alre4-
Old Lady tfrigidlyl-some liquorice.-Nea
York Sun.
FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS: Mrs. McFadd-
Och, rat and phat are yez doing IN that
tub of wather?
MI MCE duu-E dtl0. anu ulunL the doctor
say that Oh should take a shpoonful in waUher
tree times a day? Oh know me business
The Judge.
EXCITED SISTER, wish l was q June bug
Parson-W Sister Snowflake
Sister-So | could fly ter de heabenly man
sions.
Parson-Fool niggah, woodpecker ketch yer
befoah you gifts Outen de woods.-The I Tth
Amendment.
GROCER-I don't have to crack up that but
ter. Uncle Rastus; it sells itself.
Uncle Rastus casting itl-Yes, san, dat
butter oughter sell itself tie up ITSELF oliver
itself, eat itself an still have strength nuff
lei ter dlges' itself. Wot yo' cha'gin fo axle
grease dist mawnin', Mister Scales?-N ea0
York San.
He referring to painting)-Don't you think
The introduction of one or two birds woulu
give you little more life, Miss Bessie?
She referring 10 lunch)-HoW thoughtful of
you. Mr. Short, and how deliCately you put
the invitation land he had to run ner over
TO the nearby hotel and ordered brolled quail
for two.l-71d BIS.
MRS. CoHN-Soomon, ma tear, | got 10 get
me new dress. amt 1t? Dot CALICO dress Is
terrib worn out.
Mr.. Cohn-Tlmes is hard, Rebecca. Wait
for a wees, ma tear.
Mrs. Cohn-For vot for would | wait week,
Solomon?
Mr.. Cohn-I exregt to fail negst week, und
den times vull be better. Siehst dur
l.0HtOtoT.
A PITTsBURGER b as taken out patent for
a machine to crmp flower bags. We are
glad to see the taste for art spreading. Flour
bags have been entirely 100 plain. Now they
VIII look gay crimped, and after a while per-
haps they could be cut bias or shirred down
the front, or otherwise Dcautifed. -Piasbur0
ChrOaicIe telegraph.
THEY WENT TO THE WEDDING.-A young
professor in an Illinois university was en-
gagged to be married to the daughter of a
,.ealthy farmer living IN one of the eastern
counties of this state. On the dsy of the
wedding the bridegroom was driven in a
buggy through country road in the drec-
ton of his prospective father-in- laws house
Not being familiar with the neghborhood he
stopped in front of a dlapidated log cabin
and inquired Of a lank man who was leaning
against a rail fence: lis this the way to Mr..
PUdder'sP'
Yes. That's where the don's is tonight: ;
his darter's goin' to be hitched."
Yes"
"Who's she goIn to gt?"
"A man named Tomkins," said the blush
ing bridegroom.
ais he any gOod?"
pretty poor stick. I've been told"
HAS he got any style?"
Not much "
"Weil." said the old man, with sigh of re-
lief. PPM glad he's such poor shoat, for my
gals has got AN invite to the weddin' an /
heard nobody could go that couldn't eat with
forks, but reckon I'll let EN- go. POdder's
is two miles straight ahead. "-7erre Haute
EBUyeSS.