, 1886-09-18
THE YOUNG ANALYST.

the CaSe. 1 began 10 1luuS Augustus ~
a view to finding out his special aptitude;
but, unless n really remarkable faculty OF
outgrowing his trousers may be 80 re-
garded, ] could not for some time discover
that he had any. BY dint, however, of
careful observation and cross-examination
OF the household | ELECTED that he was ad-
dicted to making extremely offensive
smells in the back kitchen with chemicals,
and that he had what IL called a "collec-
ton" of beetles and other unpleasant In
sects struck on pins in the box in his bed
room. 1t appeared, therefore, that his
proclivities were scientific, and / ulti-
mately decided to make an analyst of him.
Augustus, first demand on taking up
his new occupation was n microscope.
And while you're about It." he suggested.
lit had better be a good one. He assured
me that the microscope was nowadays the
very sheetanchor of analytical science
The "~sheet-anchor" completely took the
wind out my OF sails. q feel that there IS
rather n confusion of metaphor here, pnt,
not being "A nautical person, | don't reel
competent to set 1t right.) | SURRENDERED
humbly rcmarklng that I supposed a u
note would cover IL. The youthful analyst
laughed me to scorn. The very least, he
assured me, that a good microscope could
be got for would be el0 or el2. Ulti-
h1hf' sAkt1tA ~ oht ~ Az BUN
cas-, and congratulated myself that at
any rate that WAS done well. On the con
trary, 1t was only just begun. No sooner
had my analyst sc cured his microscope
than he began to insist upon the purchase
OF a number of auxiliary appliances,
which, 1t appeared, no respectable micro
scope would be seen without. He broke
them to me by degrees. At first he only
mentioned, II | remember right, mn "achro-
matte condenser" at Q guineas. Next
came a "double nosepiece" (why double"
! don't know; then u polarizing apppara-
tus and n Gamer lucida q pounds
lO); then a micrometer, and n microtomc
% gulneas more); then somebody prism
at l pound 3; and somebody's mi
crospectroscope, at / don't know how
much. Here. however, l put my foot
down. | am compelled here to regard the
sordid consideration OF price, though
science doesn't.
SO far as my observation went, my an
alysts private study had hitherto been
confined 10 n short pipe and the last mum
Der OF some penny dreadful: but | did not
think 1t wise to check newborn ardor;
! contented myself by observing that l
only hoped he woul | stick to it,"
n fear Of that" he rejoined, as indig-
nantly as n limpet might have lone in
~ tat $3.50 o3t hh'ACts W "a , >
microscopy is the most fascinating study
out. Just a k IA squint at that now"
looked down the tube, and saw O sort
Of network of red fiber.
I'll bet 6 pence you can tell me what
that is" he exclaimed tr%iumphantly.
owned the soft Impeachment.
That's the maxillary gland OF n rat.
Isn't 1t lovelyf Here's another. Now,
just look at that" "a queer, granular
looking obiect.) you don't know what
that isf7
give 1t up" l said.
That's n section of the epidermis of the
great toe
"Great toel7 | exclaimed in disgust.
what on earth have analysts got TO do
with great toesf'
"oh, nothing particular, - he said. airily.
But we like TO have as much var ETY. as
possible. | should like to have n section
of everything, II | could get 1t. Here's
another pretty slide; that is the section
OF n diseased potato, and this one is n bit
Of n frogs leg
Very instructive, l dare say re-
marked; but | hope you haven't made me
spend 100 merely to improve your ac-
quaintance with frogs legs and diseased
potatoes. Mr.. Scrutin surely doesn't ana
lyze such things as thesei'
tstu 1 Sdl We w inlltH III frogs legs,
he said, but there are lots of things adul.
terated with potato. Flour and arrowroot,
and butter, and cocoa, and-and-a heap
Of things. And the potatoes just as likely
to bc diseased as not. IL may be, anyhow,
and there you are II you don't now what
diseased potato ooksl like, you're done.7
"A pleasant lookout l replied, "if half
a dozen Of the commonest articles of food
are hahitually adulterated."
BLESS you, that's nothing he replied;
"of course they don't put in enough to kill
you right off. And if you find something
disagreeing with you, you can't swear
what 1t is. 1t may the nux yomica in the
beer; but it's just as likely to be entozoa
in the water, or copper in the last bottle of
pickles. However, you're all right now.
With an analyst in the family at any rate
you shan't be poisoned without knowing
IL. Iu let you know what you are eating
and drinking. This fellow"-and he patted
the microscope affectionately-"will tell
you all about that"
And it dill. From that day forth | have
never enjoyed a meal, and l never expect
to do so again. have always been par
ticulnr to deal at respectable establish
ments and to pay n fair price, in the hope
of insurlng n good article. ! have, or had,
n very tolerable appetite, and till
that dreadful microscope came into
the house l used to get a good
dead of enjoyment out of life. But
now all is changed. My analyst
began by undermining my faith in our
baker. Now. II there was one of our
tradesmen in whom, more than another,
/ had confidence, IL was the baker, who
supplied what seemed to me n good, solid,
satisfying article, with 10 nonsense about
1t. But one day. shortly after the CONVEX
sation | have recorded. my analyst re
marked mt breakfast time: I'VE had n
turn nj bread Yesterday at the laboratory.
examined five samples. and found three of
EN- aduliernted. And do You know
holding up a piece of our own bread and
smelling it criticnlly-"I rather fancy this
Of ourS Is rather dicky.r
NONSENSE | cried. ITS very good bread.
capital breadi'
"Nou mhy hin So" he continued,
calmly. but you're not an analyst. i
shall take n sample of this TO the labora-
tory, aud you shall have my report upon
it,
On his return home in the evening he
began rive been having a go-in at your
bread. lis not pure, OF course; but there
isn't very much the matter with Il.
There's a little potato. and a little rice,
and n little alum; and with those add
tionH 1t takes up a good deal more water
than i ought 50 you don't get your proper
weight
"Ahem,H | said; III that's the case well
change our baker. I'm not going to pay
for a mixture OF potatoes and water and
call II bread. hut as for alum, that's all
ncnsrns'. u they put that in we should
taste it.
~Oh, no. you wouldn't. When alum Il
put in bread IL decompOses and forms sui
phate Of potash aud aperleut salt. II dis