Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-07-07
Anmuruns department.

day had housed us up in the cabin OF a Ten
nessean, and about 9 o'clock in the morn
ing a man who was addressed by our host
as Uncle Billy came riding up through the
steady pour on a mule. The animal was
placed in the stable, and as the two men
entered the house our host observed:
"Well Uncle Billy, how'll you trade
mules"
"Oh, bout So tew boot" was the answer.
They returned to the stables and talked
until noon. Then we had dinner, and
they talked until 4 o'clock. The rain let
up a bit and we went out to see a cave,
leaving them talking mule. We returned
at 6 and they were still at it. We had sup
per, and the interrupted conversation was
resumed and kept up until 9 O'Clock. We
went off to bed with Uncle Billy saying
"Tell We what I'll dew. I'll trade fur So
tew boot"
1t Numbered about midnight, and I woke
up and I heard that mule talk still going.
At s O'Clock I got up. Uncle Billy was
just riding away.
"Well how did you come out ?" I asked
of our host.
"Beat him down to 50 and three bits
he replied.
$50 you saved two shillings."
EXACTLY, though I wasn't working for
that. 1t was the principle of the thing
which I looked at."-Detroit Free Press,
EXTRAORDINARY MEDICAL SKILL.-One
stormy night, when the roads were we'll
nigh impossible, a son of Erin came into a
doctors Office and desired the dispenser OIL
physic to 60 to see a friend who was list a
dyin'." He would not take no for an
answer; so, putting the saddle-bags upon
his horse, the physician started out upon
his journey. AS soon as he saw the sick
man he knew it was nearly over with him.
and remarked to the courier:
"Peter, you told the truth ; your friend
is just at the point of DEATH"
"Can't We do ainytheeng for heem ?" re-
piled Peter.
"No; it is too late"
"But, docthor, amt We goin' to give heen
anything at all, at all?"
SIT will do no good"
"But, docthor, We have come so far, i
would be too bad to 60 back without dom
anything"
For the peace of Peters mind, the doctor
now took a small quantity of sugar from
phial, and placed it upon the dying mans
tongue just as he was drawing his las
breath.
Peter seeing his friends head drop back
looked up to the doctor with big eyes, ane
said, half in a whisper, "Oh, docthor, ar
didn't We do it quick "-Harper's Maga
zinetor Juy.
THEATRICALs IN TEXAs.-Some Austir
amateurs gave a performance of "Hamlet'
one day last week. Gus DeSmith was Ham
let. The day after the performance Kosci
usko Murphy met Gus and asked:
elbow did the performance come off las
night?"
Everybody did we'll except Judge Pen
nybunker. I'll be doggoned if he goes or
the stage with me anymore. I'll take him
and tie him on the railroad track and lei
the cars run over him before he shall play
Ghost to my Hamlet any more"
"Was he the Ghost"
eyes, and the blooming old idiot stalk
ed across the stage with his spectacles on
You bet he made a circus of the whole show
If there ever was a melancholy Dane ]
was one. I havn't got over it. And the
old craven image says he put on his spec:
to add to the solemnity Of the scene."-Isr
as Syifiugs.
A LAWYERS CONTINGENT FEE.-"Wha1
is a contingent fee p" asked a litigant Of
a we'll known attorney the other day
"Well," said the legalite, eff take your
case and lose it I get nothing"
"Yes, yes that's all right"
"But if I win the case you get nothing
"How's that! How's that" I dom
think I understand you."
The attorney calmly repeated his state
ment. The still n~on-plussed litigant per
sisted:
eff I understand you, in neither case dc
l get anything"
swell, you know, that's not my fault
but that's the meaning of a contingent fee
Shall 1 bring suit? What did you say;
No? Well, I I'm very sorry. Good morn
ing, sir"
DIFFERENT CoLoRED HoRsEs.-"Yes
said a physician, "poor Smith is dead. ]
Did all that medical science could do, but
nature had to take her course. In sickness
nature is all powerful; the physician car
only assist and direct"
swell, how is Brown"
"Brown is all right again, but his was
one of the worst cases lever had to contend
with. Nothing but the most skillful treat
ment saved him from the grave"
INNOCENT CHILDHooD.--"Tain't so,'
triumphantly exclaimed Bobbie from his
perch on top of a chair, gazing down on
A%lgernou's head.
"What's not true" d~outfully asked his
sister Maud. Why, you said Algy was sc
green that grass was growing from the tor
of his head, and (determinedly,) there AIM
any there"
How Maud explained the situation is un'
known.-Detroit Free Press.
A QUICK DUEL.-''That was a quick ter
mination of a duel" said Mr.. BeesWaX tc
his wife as he looked up from the morning
p which he was reading.
"What duel? I didn't know that there
was a duel to be fought" replied the lady
"Yes, there was a duel fought early this
morning, and it only required two seconds
to finish it."-Ndtional Weekly.
B6~"Mr. Plumson, you talked in your
sleep a full hour last night, and kept me
awake the whole time. 1t was dreadful
MADAM, what can you expect of a mar
- -N,x xv,o~I IV,~