Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1886-04-01
AUec&9tCs

Calling upon Mr.. Linco 1870.
the darkest days in the late war, /
was surprised to see upon his mantel
piece a couple OF volumes-one a small
Bible. the other 4Artemus Ward, Hls
Book .Do you read Artennus
lsWard?' I asked him. 81 don't read
ANYBODY else," he answered, with q
smile on his care worn face; che is m
imitable." In the plain building be-
fore which we are standing the lnlmit-
able Snowman first set up his "wax
fipgers,n and if we enter here we may
encounter the assistant editor OF the
Plaindealer who was the associate and
intimate friend of "a Ward" when
the latter was the city editor OF this
journal. He has many anecdotes TO
tell of the genial Snowman. lie de-
scribes his appearance, when ne hrsO
came to the Office, an decidedly rustic.
He was, he says, long and lank. with
flowing hair, and loosly hitting
coat, and trousers too short IN
the legs and bagging at the knees. HIS
humor was irrepressible, and always
bubbling over, and he kept all about
| him in q constant state OF merrlment'
He was a wag-nothing but a wag--
| but in that line o. genius. lie could
see only the ludicrous side ola subject.
| Going away once on a short vacation,
he engaged this gentleman to perform
his work during his absence. de care
| fully instructed him as to his duties,
and in doing SO drew from his pocket
| a tow-string about loot ana q nan
long, and told him that he must fur-
| nish that amount OF copy per day.
| leaving on his desk that measure as a
reminder of the quantity. About TINS
| time he was called upon to respond TO
| a toast to the Press, at a Ben Frank
| lin festival held in Cleveland. he
arose to his feet, hung his head for a
| few moments in silence, and then sat
| down, having said nothing. In his &C
count of the festival in the next day $
| Plaindealer his speech was reported by
blank space of about half column
of eloquent silence.
| This gentleman remembers that soon
| after "a. Ward" entered the lecture
| fiel he was invited by a theatrical
| manager IN San Francisco to deliver a
| course in California. The season
being close at hand, the manager ask
ed him, by telegraph: What will
you take for forty nights IN
California? Answer Immediately"
Ward answered Immediately, ny
| telegraph, Brandy and waite.
The Joke was noised throughout the
| state, and the result was, when Arte-
! mus went there to lecture on his own
| account, he was met everywhere with
| Overlooking houses. While engaged IN
| Iecturing in the west, he wrote this gen.
tleman the following epistle:
| My DEAR GEORGE want you to do me
| a favor. / relied on one OF my men to save
me the press notices. He didn't. Willyou
| collect them Tor me at once, and send them
| to me at the Bates House? Now this Is
| taxing your good nature, but you'll do IT
| for me-wont you, George? Do you know
| that you remind me more and more OF the
noble Romans? l don't know who they
were but you remind me OF Them you do
| indeed And could have appealed to one
of those noble Romans to cut out some
press notices for me in vain? | guess
| not. Go on, young man, go on. Deal kind
| ly with the aged. Remember that we arr
here for only little while, and that riches
| take unto themselves wings and fly away
| Intoxicate the stunning bowl. Support
| your county paper. Love the Lord, anc
send me those notices. Write likewise
| And now, kind sir, farewell.
when other lips and other hearts"
Your'n, my pretty gazelle, A. WARD.
Harpers Magazine.