davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
BRIGHT BITS.

JOURNALISM is everywhere combining
KIND OF work. but it appears TO be more so in
Mexico than any where else, where about all
the editors are in jail.-Ohicd0o Times.
81 SAY. LightheOd. that girl I've seen you
so much with lately is about the homeliest l
ever saw. Why do YOU take her Out?'
Il owe months board" replied Light
head.
What on earth has that to do with it?"
Shes the landlady's daughter. "-Neao
York Sun.
YOUNG HUsBAND-Isn't there something
dearl
Young Wife tanxiously)-Oh, hope not,
dear. took such pains with them. | even
sprinkled them with Jockey Club before put
them to boil to take away the unpleasant
odor.-Ae1o York Sun.
WGFE-Pm afraid YOU will think | am ex-
trayagant, my dear, bat | bought a Rubens
to-day and paid $40 for it.
Husband (eXcitedl-Only $40? Why, Won
couldn't have pleased me more. But are you
sur 1t is genuine Rubens?
Wife-That's what the miliner said who
sold 1t to me.-Nelo York Sun.
MRS. HENDRICKS THE landladyl-Can
send you some more soup. Mr.. Dumley!
Mr.. Dumley-So, thanks.
Mrs. Hendricks engagingly)-Don'tref
Mr.. Dumley, because it isn't considered good
form To- be helped twice to soup
MIR. Dumley-Oh, etiquette has nothing to
DO with 1T, madame; it's the soup,-Ne10 York
Sun.
SCENE at Harvard College: Junior (trans-
lating New Testament)-And the an'-and
the Lord said, Lord SAID unto-unto Moses.
Here he hesitated and looked appealingly to
nelghbor, who, being also unprepared,
whispered: Skip it,"
Junior tgoing ON and the Lord said unto
Moses, skip 1t.
Great transformation ensued.- Tea rs Stftin0s.
Chow TRULY rural that scene was !" said a
husband to his wife as the curtain descended
after the first act, and then he went out to
see man. ta
At the close of the play-it was five act
play-he again expressed his admiration for
the truly rural nature of the scenery, but as
he pronounced IL .'tooly looral," his wife got
him home as quickly as she could.-EechGnge.
Tom and Laura had been married not quite
year ana few friends were taking dinner
with them. Suddenly in the midst of the
cheer crash was heard outside the dining
room the shock made the glasses ON the table
Jingle and the chandelier quivered overhead
The guests looked into each others blanched
races without speaking and a great horror
sponge cake fall on the stairway. -Burdette.
WHEN married was Miss Jenny,
The wedding gifts were many,
And cost pretty penny,
am sure, very sure;
Yet as she looked them over,
In cOmp'ny with her lover,
She failed quite to discover
Aueht her fancy to allure.
The pearls that Cholle gave her
| Failed to excite her favor;
| Her actions had a flavor
| Of a mercenary kind
She passed them by in silence,
| AS though he were mile hence,
Nor reckoued she of the Whence
| She engendered in his mind,
| But when at length she spied there
What papa CHANGED to hide there.
Why then she gladly cried: "rhere
Is what Pve been looking for.
Now don't be angry, Chollie,
Although your pearls are jolly,
1t would be utter folly
| Not to see this checks worth more -
| =. The r lt1lkLar
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
The Proper English Walk.


Something new appeared In New York
short time ago. but though ii Is English. and
has apparently come to stay, it has not met
with fervid reception. 1t is the lurching
English walk, Perhaps the most proficient
of its votaFes is Londoner named Benson,
who came here with a lot of letters recently,
and has spent all his time since in dashing up
and down the steps of Fifth avenue resi-
dences, leaving vast quantities of cards upon
the citizens of New York. His manner of
walking was recognized at once as distinctly
the thing in London this year. and club men
and anglOmaniacs lay in wait along Fifth
avenue 10 see him pass by. Of all the walks
this is the most absurd, To begin, in good
form, the knees must never be Strengthened
under any circumstances, and the toes
should be turned out as far as possible with
out putting the heels in advance of them.
This gives a rather parenthetical look to the
legs from the front elevation, but it is indubi-
Uably correct, nevertheless. Having assumed
this posture, the walker should lean his body
forward from the hips, draw his shoulders
over in front, elevate the chin as far as pos
sible, and then start off with the arms hang
ing straight at the side. Bend the knees out
ward at every step and move as rapidly as
possible. Repeat as before, and then rest
eight minutes in horizont al position. Alto
gether the walk is not unlike that affected by
variety actors mimicking old plantation
darkles, and l am told that if a man huns
gently some such strainsas "Climbing up the
Golden Stars' while perfecting himself in the
minor details of the walk he Will be vastly
aided thereby.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
The Autumn Session of the Legis-
laIuFe,

The Autumn Session of the Legis-
laUure.
With the exception of the regular tax
bill the Legislature which adjourned on
Wednesday, until next July, passed no
measure of great and general Importance.
The questions in which the whole Stateis
deeply interested, and which were to
some extent discussed in the campaign
for the Gubernatorial nomination, were
given scarcely any consideration what
ever.
1t must not be understood, however,
that the Legislature did nothing at all.
1t did a great deal of work, bat 1t was
almost wholly in connection with local
bills. The number OF these local bills
was very great-far greater than could
have been attended to properly if the
whole session had been given up to them.
This class of bills will increase from
of a score OF years will be
sufficient to keep the Legislature in ses-
sion about all the time. There is GER
taInly some way to get rid of the greater
part of them. A few general laws would
cover the great majority of them. Let
some Of the ablest members see if they
cannot, before the beginning of the July
session, discover some way to relieve the
General Assembly of such a heavy bur-
den of local bills.
The tax bill occupied good deal of the
attention of the session. A determined
effort was made to fix a tax rate too low
to meet the requirements of the State.
Ii 1t had not been for the thorough &C
quaintance of the chairman of the Finance
Committee, Hon. w. w. Gordon, with the
whole taxing question, and his insistance
upon the rate that was finally adopted,
bill would have been passed that would
have left deficit and produced confusion
in the States financial affairs. There is
an assurance now of healthy financial
condition without placing too heavy a
burden upon the people.
The Legislature showed itself, by its
work, to be quite an able legislative body.
The Chatham county delegation and the
Senator from this district did their full
share OF the work of the session.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
The Stewards Punish m emit.


Duffield told a story the other night that on
board a Peninsular and Oriental steamer re-
turning from India, a chief steward OF ambi-
tious mind was supposed to have cherished
passion for one of the lady passengers, and
with a bodness begotten of first love. he first
dressed himself in PLAIN clothes to look like
gentleman. and then, under cover of the even
ing shades, mingle with the upper ten on the
quarter deck. with some vague and vain hope
that he might thus find an opportunity to ad-
vance his suit He was not detected by any
OF the numerous passengers, but the
unuer-stewards twIgged him, and re-
sented as an insult to themselves this endeavor
to assert a social superiority They there
fore secretly arranged TO hold a court m artial
upon him; he was formally arrested, and SOL
emily brought before q tribunal of stewards;
evidence was adduced clearly proving his
guilt; and, as the prisoner had nothing to say,
he was sentenced to receive two dozen strokes
with bar of his own yellow soap on part Of
the body to be made bare for the purpose.
The sentence was duly carried out, and the
chief steward looked exceedingly sheepish
the following morning; but, although he
knew in his heart that the Captain and Off
GERS were aware of all that had occurred. he
was too guilty or too bashful to make any
complaint In regard to the indignity he had
suffered
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
Watching Bear Hunt in a Mirror.
From the Portland Ore0ontdn.


In 1s45. as John Mimic had to go up the Co.
lumbia river he took passage with an Indian
chief who had something of a retnue. There
was a sub chief who looked after things of
minor Importance, and dusky maiden to
whom old Pu-Pu MoX-MoX. who was then
great chief, and was destined later 10 fall in
battle in command of the combined forces of
the inland empire, showed very devoted at
tention. There were also several slaves, who
drove the canoes with their paddles for mo-
tive power. Somewhere on the grand river
when among the ranges that tower above
Cape Horn. Mimic noticed that the Indians
acted very singularly and rather suspicIously.
They stopped the canoes and looked down in
the water intently. Then two slaves and a
sub-chief got into the smaller canoe and
started to cross the river. Suddenly
Mimic dropped on it," and saw what the In
dams saw. 1t was one of the most beautiful
transparent days when the air and water are
clear AS crystal. The sun of autumn either
had not risen so as to reach the deep CANYON
with its rays. or had dropped behind the
western heights. Anyway, these heights
were reflected so perfectly on the surface of
the river that the Indians had watched the
mountain sides as they padded along. The
cause of their strange actions was seeing
bear on a high ridge across the river from
them eating berries. The two slaves took
their fusees and crossed the river to attack
They climbed the bluff, took ann. fred, m ss-
ed. and the bear ran away-he was not hurt
All this Mimic saw on the river surface with
out straining his eyes to the mountains sum-
mil
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
The Use of Snakes.
From The Neao Orleans Picavu,l

From the Ne1o Orleans Picduufle.
Persons who dislike snakes continually ask /:
"What is the use of them?" That they are
not without use will, l hope. appear in the
course of this WORK, were it necessary to
preach that all things have their use. But in
one habit that offended Lord Bacon, namely
of going on their belly" lies one of their
greatest uses, because that, together with
their internal formation anu external cover
ing, enables them to penetrate where no
larger carnivorous animal could venture, into
dark and nOisome morasses. bog jungles,
swamps, amid the vegetation of the tropics,
where swarms of the lesser reptiles. On which
80 many of them feed, would otherwise out
balance the harmony Of nature, die and pro-
duce pestIence. Wondrously and exquisitely
constructed for their habit, they are able to
exist where the higher animals could not, and
while they help to clear those inaccessible
places of the lesser vermln. they themselves
supply food for number of smaller man allie,
which, with many carnivorous birds, devOur
vast numbers of young snakes. The hedge
hog, weasel, lchneumon, rat, peccary, aadgar
hog goat, and an immense number of birds
keep snakes within due limits, while the lat
ter perform their part among the grain de-
vouring and herbivorous lesser creatures.
Thus beautifully is the balance of nature
maintained,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
How to be BeautIHul.

Here is a question the maidens are asking:
How can we make ourselves fair2
One thinks that her cheeks are little too
red;
Another Is puzzling her pretty head
TO know how to curl her straight hair.
This lassie's cheeks are little too pale;
How can she make them red?
And this title lady's hands are not quite
AS smooth and slender and soft and white
las a lady's should be-" she said.
And this one thinks she's trife too plump:
Another one thinks she's too small:
Her teeth are not quite as pretty as pearls!
And what shall we do for these poor, poor
girls
That cannot be happy at allP
And I who look at them, cannot see
why they are dissatisfied.
They look like a garden of roses in bloom:
Yet over them all there Is resting the gloom
or some fancied beauty denied.
The mystical secret is mine to impart;
Listen. all who covet the power
or beauty's magic. The wonderful art
Lies down in the depths OF gentle heart,
And shines from the eyes every hour.
The hands that do Charity's gentle deeds
Are white as the angels above;
And whether the checks be rosy or fair,
IL innocent pushes and health be there.
They are pretty enough 10 love.
II over the beautiful lips. dear girls,
But gentle words are said:
And whether the form be plump or slight,
IL only the heart rs pure and Light,
You are pretty enough TO wed.
"A Doe kiane.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
A STRANGE sroKY's SEQUEL.
Who the Woman Was that Became q
Deathbed Bride.

From the San Francisco Chronicle.
The romance connected with young Ro-
lands history is as romantic as ever for aught
Of the detectives attempt to find him in
Japan recently. Roland was young Eng
lish swell employed by rich corporation in
London TO look after Its affairs in New
Orleans. He had not been in that place long
before he was married, and matters went
swimmingly for year or more. Suddenly
he left for Japan without even bidding
his wife farewell, and she has heard
nothing from him since. An examination
of his accounts showed that he had
neglected to return about $40, 600 of the firms
money, and 1t was in the hope of finding him
to discuss and possibly to adjust this differ
ence that an agent was sent to japan in
search of him. The agent arrived in this CITY
on the last China steamer unaccompanled by
Mr.. Roland. Quite recently there was
caused stir in Washington circles by The
marriage on his deathbed of Don Luis Po-
desa of the Spanish Legation, to Roland's
wife. She had succeeded in getting divorce
by the aid of the court. but her marriage with
Don Luis was delayed because she could OBJ
tain no dlspensatlon from the Catholic
Church, to which both she and Don Luis be-
longed, and accordingly they were married
by Protestant Clergyman.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

The new law IN South Carolina pro-
vides for tuition fees from the students of
the South Carolina College, and there is
some discomfort on account of an excep-
tion which appears to be made in favor OF
the Clafflin College at Orangeburg. The
University Of South Carolina has three
branches, viz: the South Carolina College,
the Clafflln College and the Military Acad-
envy in Charleston. The latter is limited
in the number of beneficiary cadets it may
receive to two from each county, but the
board of visitors NAV receive pay cadets
without expense to the State. 1t is pro-
vided by the new law that the South Caro-
lima College shall receive only such stu
dents free of charge as may be unable to
pay tuition fee Of $50 per annum. But
the Clafflin College, as the trustees con-
strue the law. may receive and educate
any number of students free of charge
The Legislature is now asked so to amend
the law,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
ChurchiIl's RESIGNATION,

Lord Randolph Churchill is no longer a
member of the English government. Our
dispatches indicate that he resigned be-
cause he could not consent to an in
crease in the expenses of the war and
admiralty branches OF the government.
The reason for the increase is alleged to
be the belief that Europe is ON the verge
of war and that England must be pre-.
pared for whatever emergency may arise.
But did not Lord Randolph Churchill
share this belief of the other Ministers?
If he did, it is difficult to see how he could
have opposed the preparations which
they deem necessary, and if he did not, it
would be extremely interesting to know
his reasons for doubling that there is
danger of war. He certainly can have
no information relative to the situation
in Europe which the government hasn't.
May it not be that the reason given for
his resignation is not the true one. He
has been restless, apparently, ever since
he became a member of the government.
His speeches and his actions seemed to
indicate that he felt that he ought to be
the Premier, and ought to map out the
policy of the government.
1t would not be surprising il his resig-
nation were due to an inability to get
along tremendously with the Prime Min
lister, the Marquis of Salisbury. 1t may
also be that he found his position in the
House of Commons tar from pleasant. He
is bright young man, but hardly capable
of filling the place that MIR. Gladstone
filled so ably.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

NJ. Goblet, French Prime Minister and
Minister of the Interior, although not as
we'll known as a half dozen OF other emf
nent French politicians, is much admired
by his countrymen tor his sterling quail
ties, his probity and his patriotism. APP
pointed Attorney General of the provi-
sional government on Sept. 4, 1870, he was
elected a Deputy at the conclusion OF
peace. and has been reelected ever since.
He has served successfully as Minister
of the Interior and Minister Of Public In
struction. He is said to be great de-
centralizer, believing in the placing of
power in the hands OF many rather than
riskinR coup d. etat by intrusting 1t to
the few. Clemenceau, also, who is
spoken OF as possible successor TO NJ.
Goblet, is said to be very popular man.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
index TONEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

STEAMSHIP SCHEDULE Ocean Steamship
90.
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-City and Suburban Rail
way Extra Train; Bananas at Power u Mo-
loney's; Oglethorpe Savings and Trust Co.;
Notice, S. Fatman; Notice to Teachers, W. ii.
Baker, Superintendent; Special Notice, Davis
Bros.
HOLIDAY PREsENTs-Adolph Sack.
IMPORTED CoNFECTIoHs-A. Nj. c. W.
West.
LooK-Lovell & baltimore.
LEGAL NoTIcR-Demands Against Patrick
Gately's Estate.
HoTEL-ssratoga, Palatka, Fla.
CHEAP COLUMN ELECTROMAGNETIC
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent !;
For Sale; Lost; Miscellaneous.
WHOLESALE GBoCER-Robert H. Jones,
Jacksonville, Fla.
CHRISTMAS GooDs-A. II. Champion.
REAL ESTATE BRoKKRs-Marks Hunter.
Orlando, Fla.
LAST NOTICED. B. Lester.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

The German Minister at Washington,
Baron Won Alvenslebeu, when he limits
the term of peace in Europe TO the life OF
Emperor William, in the nature of things
cannot regard war as very distant pos
sibility. The industrial and financial in
terests OF Germany he considers to be so
intimately allied with those of Russia,
and the public policies of the two coun-
tries directed to such similar ends, that q
rupture would result in long stagnation
in business and be the heaviest blow to
all material welfare. But the Baron
seems to think the chances of a war be-
tween Germany and Russia, and between
Germany and France, about even. The
German army bill Is preparative meas
ure, and means the preservation OF the in
tegrity and supremacy Of the German
empire, no matter what coalitions may be
formed.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
DIR. MCGlYnn,S Case.


II is stated that the Rev. DIR. McGlynn,
concerning whom a great deal has been
said in the newspapers lately, has been
transferred from st. Stephens parish,
New York city, of which he was rector,
to the much smaller and far less In
portant parish of Peekskill, N. Y. A
few days ago it was stated that he had
been summoned to Rome to give an ac-
count OF his connection with the Henry
George movement, but, assuming that
that statement is true, there does not
seem 10 be any definite understanding re-
spectihg the date of his departure.
dne cause OF DIR. McGlynn's removal is
said to be characterization. This insu-
bordinatlon consisted chiefly in his re-
fusal to desist from taking any further
J,art in the Henry George movement after
he had been sdmonished to do 80 by his
offieja lssuperior.
Y Itsseerns that he not only lent his name
TO the land and labor organizations which
were interested In making Mr.. George
Mayor Of New York, but he also spoke in
his favor at public meetings and through
the press.
1t was the impression that the confer
ence of Archbishops which was held in
New York a few days ago was called to
consider the DR.. McGlynn trouble. Arch
bishop Corrigan, however, says that such
was not the case. The subject OF the con-
ference was in no way connected with DR..
McGlynn or his affairs.
The Importance of this case is largely
owing to the interest which workingmen
in New York take in it. With them DR..
McGlynn is very popular.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

IL is said that the Legislature of Ne
Fada, without respect TO party, has
sirered to elect Bonanza Mackay Senator
10 succeed Senator Fair. There isn't a
word said about the consideration, but in
view of the fact that it cost Senator Fair
b750,00O to get the place it is fair to pre-
Iume that the Legislature expected
Macksy to set up the champagne if he &C.
,epted. He declined on the ground that
I required all his time to take care of his
40, 900, 900. ~
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

Warner Miller did not contribute cent
10 the Republican campaign fund in New
York in 1884, say the Blaine men, and he
wealthy man, too. Morton did. Among
The Republicans, every candidate for
office is measured by his money value to
The party. Blaine will probably live to
.ealize that a money basis is not always
l sound one for a politician TO stand on.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

Mr.. Powderly's order to the Knights TO
collect no more money for the condemned
Anarchists in Chicago, and to return
what has already been gathered in 10 the
giyers, will by no means diminish his
popularity or weaken his cause. The in
terests OF the workingmen rest upon the
maintenance OF order and the inviolability
Of the law. They and society must live or
die together. Anarchy would disrupt So
piety and dry up the source Of that indus
trial prosperity by which labor is sus.
tanned.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

At the last session Of the General Con-
vention of the Protestant Episcopal
Church, authority was given TO raise a
commission to promote the work of the
church among colored people. The
commission consists OF five bishops, five
presbyters, and five laymen. The cleo
tion Of Rev. DIR. A. Toomer Porter, OF
Charleston, as a member OF the commits.
sion 10 a well merited recognition of the
work be has already done among the col
ored people. II he accepts the commits
sion will secure the services Of jealous,
able and conscientious man.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

The young ladies have worried look on
their faces nowadays. They want to make
presents to their young gentlemen friends
and can't, for the life of them, think what
10 get. AS advice would be thrown away
upon them it will not be offered.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

1t is announced that the wandering
Florida Senator will return to his place
in the Senate Immediately after the holt
d ay recess. Some enterprising phoiogra-
pher ought to catch his expression as he
takes his seat. Unless he has a vast
sheepish
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

The General Assembly Of South Caro-
lima has performed graceful act in al
lowing its choice OF a Judge for the
Eighth Circuit to fall upon Col. j. J. Nor
ton, OF Walhalla. An able lawyer, a
brave soldier and thorough scholar. his
presence on the bench will be as credita-
bic to the State as it Is complimentary to
himself.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24

The millionaire California Senator,
Stanford, has had plans drawn for a
$4,000 yacht. He is preparing for the
Communists. When they get the upper
hand he will load his gold in his yacht,
perhaps, and sail away.