Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1886-10-08
Eslerf Rsabing.
A MISERABLE WIFE.

Yes, professor, I'm afraid | shall
have to rent or sell the farm. Ny
wife is so miserable. | cannot carry
il on without hiring. and hiring eats
mp all the profits"
looked at the speaker ndmiringly.
He was about fifty. and as robust rs a
man OF thirty. His whiskers were
neatly trimmed, showing full red
cheek. lie wore a jaunty hat and
uatty cutaWay coat and below his vest
hung a silk fob aud heavy gold seal
was proud Of him lie was per
Feet picture of the New York gentle.
nan from the rural districts. lwant-
ID to impress his picture on my mem.
ory
80 your wife is miserable"
"Ies. kinder droopln'. with u dry
eough aud noambitlon. She jest kin
Ter drags around the house aud looks
% peaked aud scrswnV ii gives me the
plues. Il does, swan II 1t don't"
Naturally weak. wosn't she:'
She, Oh, no. When married her
she ans vrIr sGrTIr.~v- -
She used to work for her father, and
the WAY she made the work stand a.
ronud took my eve. She was poor
gal and her industry got her a rich
husband
Here he carelcssly took cut u gold
watch. looked at the time, put it back
and adjusted the silk fob on the front
Of his ulcely-httlng trousers.
so she did we'll getting married on
account Of her Industry
Why, Of course, she was getting
oulytwo dollars and fifty cents week,
and she became mistress Of farm"
Excuse me. but how much are you
worth now, coutidentia' IL you know; |
am scientific man. and will never
use such facts u your injury with the
assessor.
We'll. professor, | could crowd fifty
thousand dollars pretty bard.
That Is very good. How long have
you been married -
Thirty years next fourth OF Jsly.
We went down to Albany on little
,eeter, and ! proposed the match and
Jane was wilirn.'
How much do you suppose you
have made in these thirty years
"Iun-- sm-lemme see. got the
Davis farm the first ten years. then
run IN debt for the Simmons place,
got war prices f'r my cheese, and
squared up both places. Well, have
cleared up thirty thousand dollars
since We spliceL.'
Very good, indeed. And your
wife has been great bel p to you in
all this time
"Oh, you bet. She was RATHER
She took care of her baby aud the
milk from, twenty cows. | tell you
she made tie tinware flop. Why, We
have had four children, and she never
had Il hired girl over SIX months in
that time
"Splendld, Aud you have cleared
thirty thousand dollars in that time
"les, easy
"Now, how much has your wife
made
"She, why, duru it, professor, she is
my wife
Il know it. But what has she
made: lon say she was poor when
You married her. Now, what has she
made
"Why, by gum, you beat all. Why,
she Is my wife and We own 1t alt"geth
er."
'Do you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has II
horse and carriage when she wants
one Then she has "a servant maid
when she wants one? Then she rides
out for her health, and has IL watch
and gold chain as you do. Is that so?'
"Proiessor, YOU must be crazy. No
bodv's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such IL thing :"
NOW, look here. You say she did
well in marrying rich, and cannot
see it. If she was getting two dollars
and fifty cents per we k when you
married her and had saved her wages
she would have had now three thous-
and six hundred dollars. If she had
inv, sted it she would have had five
thousand dollars. Now you tell me
she is broken down, used up and mis-
cradle, and looks so bad she makes
you sick, and she has no money, no
help, and will get probably nothing
but "a Scotch granite tombstone when
she dies"
"Professor, if you was younger
man | would lick YOU quicker than a