The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-11-26

'em, should be filled up whenever they
show symptoms of "hollerness.
Granger-Bpen iishin' all day Crusty
Granger-Without bait? Crusty Old
Gentleman-Withou interruption, sir.
A California youth squeezed his girl
so tight that he broke two OF her ribs,
but was conlforted when she said: Go
on Hank, and bust the other twenty
two"
Johnson says it is mighty hard to be
Christian when man has boy who
will ring chestnut bell on him at
family prayers, when it is impossible to
resent it.
nA1 Western pd1 recently noted d the
skeleton doubtless differs from
woman's skeleton in that it has hoop
skirt and hustle attached.
A poor man with a large family of
daughters will find Washington cheap
place to reside. After they get intro
Guced into good society they will not
require any clothes to speak of.
It is said a woman never quite forgets
the man who has oncc asked her hand
in marriage Nor does !: man ever for
get the woman who's. ,!ln,: ''e has asked
in marriage it is gained.
"Where are we to look for our rising
young men? Not in the street car. any
how exclaimed Mrs. SAcddy. mo. my
dear" replied Mr.. $. "You will find
them in the elevators
What every married man in this coun-
try wants is Il trained, fierce-looking
little mouse that will appear Whenever
called. It will settle a family quarrel
in less time than it takes to provoke
One
Bilkins-" Send me up two tons of
coal, and I will settle the first of the
month" Coal dealer (derisively)-
"Chestnutv Bilkins (anxious to mis-
understand)-" Yes, chestnut will do, 1
guess.
A woman has been elected "master
workman "of a Knights Of Labor
branch in Chicago: It was by brin ing
eleven children into the world that she
"learned to labor and to wait"
It beg>,s to look as if the theatre bill
board nuisance would soon have to
XIV way w CllpOC 1IuSllOll lOIllS w IlO
have gone into the business OF advcrtis-
ing burlesque actresses by walloping
their husbands.
"You ought to chew tobacco" said
a wonld-be wit to a young lady. ~ am
astonished. SIR Indignantly replied the
lady. pardon me, miss. l was
prompted to make the remark when
looked at your fine cut mouth"
Two little boys were discussing the
strength OF bee. He can pull more'n
a fly" said one of them. "Well," said
the other, II dunno how much lie can
pull, but when he backs up to you and
pushes. guess you'll fall back every
time.
An enterprising Chicago firm adver-
tise "undressed kids of a superior quail
ity. from 81 upward" 1t would seem
as if modesty would compel the dealer
to throw in Il ni"ht-gown or something.
but perhaps the prize" is so low he can.
not afford to dress them.
II see that they advertise "a large
chorus and a full orchestra wond #
who that tat girl is on the. ri Z"
"That's one Of the large chorus" \ I'd
worse for liquor" Hes no doubt one
OF the full orchestra"
A country couple newly married
stopped at 4 hotel ut Brighton few
days and the groom "alel for some
wine. When asked what kind he would
have he replied: "W" ."rnts th"t Kind
of wine where the cnr.,, pop njiu and
the liquor boils up like soap suds."
IT regret to gay Eat Mademoise
Fayctte zen leetle hoarse lis evening"
'xnNaine'! q French munger to an
Eng'i h-speaking audience. who had rs.
srn,bled to hear p:ima donna sing
''TrOt her out, then, it she's a little
horse" beloved an urchin, whose fee,
us over the railing on the gods
gallery
Mrs. Converse Ito neighbours nurse
r"): II wish had such a polite. we'll
l".aved .ir! for my children. notice
AT YOU always address your c'!1r' =
rs Miss and Master" Nurse GIT
(:n"ilins the illusion): "Yes. ma'an
gets plid extra for that; the nliss,,
thinks it locks big to have me use sue.
terms in company"
It was the general opinion that Tan
J. >cSaunders was cracked. Notwi; Il
sanding this, Tam managed to = =
:'r',le Il lady fair to become his b.:
I'D went to the minister to ARIA =:
y alters. The reverend gentleln /,
AIRED the common notion resprrt'"'
Tam's mental capacity and thrrt.".
Proceeded. with due caution in the 'n,,:
,.r. Among other questions the minus
Ter asked: AS this is Il very imDn;tan
sep you are about to take. you uu,~i.
u consult your parents about it. Han
YOU done sO?' Ma. nae fear o ne.