The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-10-28
ESTABLISHED IN
MARCH, 1S47.
THE MERRY SIDEl

| AhAA
A cider-mill exploded at Tifin, Ohio. So!
Even cider is dangerous.
Democratic party-"Whatever the people
| wart, that's what we are!"
The Democratic party attempts an air of hu-
mility-but can't hide its horns.
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The "Th1rd Party" seems to be the which
the Democracy seek to hoist onto the7.
The worst feature about the skin-cane story is
-is-that-they expect people to believe it.
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1t always chokes the Democracy to draw
party lines. The Democratic line is rope.
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"It's lie!r roared the Democratic orator,
''they never skun man in the Penitentiary !"
The Democratic party never dies-it only
"'possums.'' We must make its bones rattle
this year.
The Democrats used about the same kind of
economy, in the Penitentiary that rat uses in
cheese-box.
Topeka has "St. Ananias Club" The object
is to supply the State with Democratic
stumpers.
gins that he must quit lying. Is this a DEATH
sentence?
Why is the Democratic party like sin? Be-
cause no man can tell what either was ever put
in the world for.
In order to place the Democrats in bad odor,
the Republicans had only to prove that they
ran a lanyard.
This is the season when the small boy with
the pumpkin-lantern has to dodge the flying
boot-jack.
Friends we have no need of the Democratic
party in power this year. There are plenty OF
razor-straps.
The Democrats certainly beat the Republicans
in achievements. None of the latter have ever
forged a tally-sheet.
A soldier has right to vote with the Democ-
racy-but he ought to burn up his army dis
charge and uniform first.
=.
Col. Ingerson had surgical operation per-
formed on his throat. This will give sort of
f1endish joy to Democrats.
IS
The Democracy are the friends of the Soldier
they think Bob Lee and Napoleon Forrest
the greatest of military men.
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sYes, friends, whisky has caused a good many
deaths and made good many widows But so
has the Democratic party.
Persons wanting skin canes to be preserved as
relics of Democracy, should send in their orders
any time after next Tuesday.
The "Third Party'' Whippoorwills will do all
the piping-but the Democratic party will try
to gather all the pennyroyal
Homer Jones fired some of the Democrats out
of the Rink.on Thursday night, more vigorously
than dose of physic could have done.
When man stands up before you and advo-
Gates the "Third Party look behind him, and
you will see the skeletons of Andersonv1lle.
1t is claimed that Democratic orator in this
State speaks "words of fire. They say it. per-
| haps, because his lips are blistered.
"The Wepubhcan Pawty is dead I" says the
dude. Nobody would know the dude was hv-
| ing if he didn't cover himself with cologne.
The Democratic party has thrown out two
hooks baited with a Bible and the other
with a whisky-bottle. Both hooks are attached
to the same line.
The doggery-keepers are fighting Noah J..
Dever, right along. Their ground is that he
was too easy liquor-sellers when he was
Prosecuting Attorney!
+.+
The man who attempts to purify the field of
politics has some tremendous weed-pulling to
do. But, take it slow, friends, it can't be done
in one lifetime.
Some of the Safe and Lock Companies should
immortalize themselves by making gate
latch that COW cannot get the combination of.
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Democrats love to tell that Denver "has been
| soldier for forty years." And they might add
that the only thing he ever got scared at was
'snigger'
Grover Cleveland never starved soldiers at
Andersonville, like his Democratic friend W1rz,
but he would not be outdone-he compelled
some of their widows to go hungry.
Charles Mitchell, a young colored man OF
Springfield, Ohio, was hit on the head with
stone, and died. The learned Doctor who was
called did all in his power to save him. He
gave him an emetic.
Mrs. Sarah Ward, of Milledgeville, Ga, was
carried to "Faith Cure" meeting, and after
they prayed tor her she got up and walked
home, leaving her crutches. Perhaps propped
the story up with them.
"If Blaine could be elected, and the entire
country forced to eat New England fish. what a
nation this would be again !-Courier-J ournal.
y 1t is question whether it would not be better
eat fish from New England than swill Bourbon
Whisky from Kentucky.
Men working for the Democratic party in the
name of Temperance, is like the young lady
who married a rough character, and explained
it thus: s'He kept after me all the time, and
just married him to get rid of him."
Democrats in the Ross district are hurt be-
cause the Republicans running rich man.
Denver, Democratic candidate, is poor fellow
who is trying to exc out living million or
two.
"One gas lamp has it "Mulbury" street. Let's
able agent some years ago?"-1ronton Register.
What's the use of being SO pertikeler? How'd
ye expeckt em to spell it-M-u-l-b- a-i-r-y9
Oh, a tax law will not hurt tine liquor busi-
ness? Suppose you pass a law permitting a
doggery-keeper to sell at ten cents a drink, then
impose a tax which amounts to fifteen cents a
drink. How long will he sell?
A Democratic paper suggests the remarkable
idea that the County Auditor and Treasurer
should be of opposite politics, $50 they could
wetch each other" Why, are you afraid to
trust your man?
The Acknowledgement has decided that the
soils and simples" used in making butterine
are not subject to tax, separately. That's right.
Let Democratic administration put tax on
"simples," and where would the Democratic
party land.
Fitz-Hugh Lee arranged for a Reception at