The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-07-16
UNk.L lsAM's STORY.
How Good Bruddler 0sb1 Divorced IN III
Matched Couple.

How Good BPudder 0ab1 Divorced IN M
Matched Couple.
..IIit wuz dish yer way" said Unk'
Jsam. 81 bring ter .membunce, dar wuz
Tidy an Bob wus dat luvin' an fool
tel nuthin' wad do but they mus git
may'd.
"Now, ole Miss wuz nifty ticklar
bout her niggers; she lowed dey mus
be quality niggers, des lax she wuz
quality white foxes. an she couldn't
bide desc low-down ways nv doin'. So
ole Miss built us lectle frame church,
an had us for-trew ginnywine preach
er. Yes, ole Brudder Gab'l wuz sar-
tinly good ole Methydis' preacher.
When'st he tok q noshun ter hold a
'vival. he'd wake up dat whole planta-
shun wuss'n de 'hoopin' cof. An sing?
He could sing yo' pO' soul plum ober de
Ribber Jordan.
swell, ole Miss seq, seq she: .Ef
Tidy an Bob bOun' ter get may'd, let
Gab'l may 'em by de book. an I'll glib
'em a supper.
..Dat's de way ole Miss wud do. fer
she fought jis' as much n her niggers'
souls ez dey bodies. She seq ter me
of'n. SEE she:
'"Isam, you's proud 'cayse you cos
yo' master three thousand dollars. when
sum of de mans lax Peter fer instunz,
only cos two thousand dollars
".Dat's nachul, ole Miss; OATS mach
ILL., seq l.
".But YOU mus member dat Peter s
soul is wuff jes' ez much as yone, ter de
Lawd'
"'Cose couldn't argify wild ole Miss.
but 'low'd ter myself dat 'twuz lucky
de Lawd know'd a boss Niger when he
seed i'm. an ole Miss went on
"''Memher. eff yo' bodies is wallyble
yo' souls is much mo- sO-dey is white.
she seq, s'ez white ez mine;' an she
had us as sassy an pompered up bout
our white souls ez a struttin' peafowl.
Oh, she wuz wun blessed oman.
II amt got time to tell bout de we'd
din'-dat amt de pint. De pint am
dis" said Unk'l lsam, sOlemnly:
Dat ar say-a-mony WIZ spoke by
book ober Tidy and Bob by Brudder
Gab'l, an day wuz Pronounced man an
wife,
EUR awhiles Tidy an Bob live like
bars what dun foun' honey tree wild
no bees in it an lots er comb.
'.Arter whites dey gun ter growl an
spat 'casionally. an after six mont dcv
waz scanned ter dc whole plantash, n.
an dey cabin wuz lax dish yer one mos
times you pass dat er way. Ram-a-ty.
blang-Tildy screecbin', Bob cussin. de
wool a-flyin'-'twus awful in de sight
OBJ de Lawd.
''Ole miss talk ter um-Brudder Cab
'spute wild um-hit nebber faze UNI.
''One Sat'day mite Brudder Cabs
pashunz wuz clean tuckered out, an
he TUX holt on 'em in arrest.
"'Cum up yer, We fool niggers.' soz
he. III stop dish yer yOwlin'.
''Tildy an Bob wuz skeered. an cum.
"'Stan' up yerr and Tidy an Boil
stun up, and I'm blest ter grashus ei
Bruddcr Gab'l didn't whip out dc book
an read dat ar say-a-mOny back ards
ober dem fool nigga's an tun 'em plum
aloose ag'in, ter 60 shet NV wun mud.
der fer ebber an ebber, amen.
Now SEE Brudder Gab'l. you is nc
longer man an wife. an amt got nc
shOwip' ter hack an lum away on wuu
q nudder LAX may'd foxes duz! Eff yer
cher goes anigh dat gal ag'n. Bob. may
de fry charyyit cum down an tax vel
ter de lake bun'in wild fire an brimstun.
Tidy, l specs yer'll let Bob erlone,
least wise tel dat wool grows out az in
what he dun nachally grabble ofn yc
skull'
$50. after dat, dere wuz peese on dat
plantashun, an eff de uther niggers fee
bleezed to claw wun a nudder some.
times cayse dcy wuz nuthin' but human
creeters after all. dey take keer not tel
'sturb de whole settlemint. ner let ole
MISS. ner Brudder Gab'l ketch onto hit
Fer Brudder Gab'l wuz dat rambunc.
tious an dan gus ter fool long wild dat
he mout or had de whole endurin' lO'
ov 'em STAMINA 'em two rows on each
side ov de plantashun. lax de sheep an
de goats in dc good book; an you
know. honey. dat would jis everla t.
in'ly er wO' 'em out"
"Well." said the small darkey, "why
cayn't Uunk'l Ike an his old oman be
read back ards, too, an turn't aloose,
TO deg inmates one = 'nuther?"
''Oh," said Uunk'l Isan, desc time
ez changed fer niggers now-deys
kin beat on dey wives same ez white
folks, and dere amt no ole mister put
in fer 'em now" -Detrott Free Press.
| ~-~sse~--~ - ~s-.-