New-York tribune., 1886-01-10
TIE TALK or TIE Day.

Washington Post surrendeis its grip OF tho Nations
affairs long enough emphasize the need OF more dig
nifty seemliness In connection with Congressional
unerals Thus by the little JOYS Of Congress-
oua llfo arc being attacked.
John-Clnra I must correct your statements. You
are entirely wrong There Is lack OF yerlsmil iude-
Cmra-N0w, Ohm You are gettnE ont OF your aeP'u
John (hOtlyl-YOu tax rs II you thought was q Dig
donkey -
thought you we're ebig.-lPhiladelphiaCa Call
One OF the most expert plano players in Pennsylvania
IS u young man named Zmmor, who has always been
blind The music read him. note By note. lie follow
ing the reading the keyboard. In this way he men,
orlcs from five TO pages per hour OF the most
difficult compositions
sEAsoNABLE ADVICE.
Don't let tho door stand open, but shut it with much
without a bang without whang yes shut 1t fair and
without Slam. without Jam. without sat or Jerk,
For you've left It open 20 shut It, and don't ShirK
No Christian man or woman no wol trained chick or
VIII let Il door swing idly. to mako weak nerves run
When chilly Winds are UIOwinG-on some one taking
While open door is creaking and muttcring like
scOld.
IIasto makes but waste. remember. so plenty take of
Don't ieavo tho door hall opena fault almost crime
And II you've done this, don't do so any more
Whatever else you fail to do, don't iall TO smut the
Door.
-fGood Housekeeping.
A wild Western paper claims that admission ought TO
be refused to Dakota out OF kindness TO herself State
hood. says this loyal American involving vastly more
responsibility aud expense than simple Territorial gov
ernment, is "A rather than a blessing This Is as
good Ia Its way the antebeum that the nggers
didn't want TO be free"
No anxiety about the Boston water supply marred the
cheerfulness OF the merchants banquet. Boston
Record.
In view OF OK Surgeon General HRmmonds prediction
that at tho OF thousand years people will have no
hair their heads dealers In human hair, wigs bangs
toupeos aud switches have threatened to stow away
Of their stock for speculative prices. A" corner"
In such a commodity would be novelty.
At early morn the air doth now
chilly feeling shed;
And now the waketul servant-maid
Doth hate to leave her bed
She turns and turns and in her mind
The subject doth debate;
And lucky 'tis II breakfast is
But balf an hour too late.
-IChicago Telegram.
local politician in MissssippIis said to have to
lie ten hours AFTER the Doctor pronounced him dead.
He must have been aroused in mysterious way by
that Democrat up North had actually refused
~, 200 oilce.
REFORM AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
II the mistress OF the White House
Can Reform n Con grcssnau.
She's mortal that IL buided
On asupcrhuman plan.
II she can by placard
Tucked upon the wall. "D0n't chew!"
Stop taat practice at tho mansion.
She teach old dogs tricks new
II she can stop their splitting
On the carpetcoyered floor,
She may save politician
To adOrn the shining shore
II she can do these wonders.
She's goddess In disguise
With reform nor earthly mission
And pair OF stars for
Bear the news TO blue Kentucky
Where good whlskey Is distilled,
And assure tho prophet Henry
That his words have been fulfilled
columbus Dispatch.
Civil Service Commissioner Edserton prepared
address graduating class OF the high school at his
homo In Indiana years ago which contained
word OF over four letters.
pug dog had a tit In Albany yesterday and. falling
nifty feet bit the dust The proprietor OF the building
where IL occurred has collected the dust aud
VIII send 10 to Pastour tO be inooulated.- Rochester
POstEXpress.
THE RHYME OF THE TOBOGGAN.
T0goggan TOboggau Thou barbarous word,
Thou thing OF strange beauty made out OF a board.
Thou queen OF the SHOWS. when the wutry wind blows
with hearts throbbiDg wildly and cheeks like tho
Toboggan Thy pleasure is something like this:
one tolls To the summit Of dearly won bliss
Though breathless ana worn he scarcely await
His turn to glide back To his former low state.
'Tis II curious feature OF struggling humanity
IL strives TO escape the worlds weary IL anity.
While some struggle upward at inhute cost
The others glide down knowing we'll what Is lost
Therein lies the reason why life is worth living
The moments OF pleasure our efforts arc giving;
We toll Ia our death ia the fervent belief
That tho summit hath something 10 give us relief
L minneapolis Tribune.
Ungallsnt as the estimate may be- Sarah Kelley. OF
Honesdhie' Penn must be put down as crank. iiav-
lIt la han aluIlg In naa sltI