Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-06-17
HERR ANp rnERr.

"Lord, make us truly thankfulfor what
we are about 10 receive; these biscuits |
amt fifteen for dog to eat, y is the way a |
certain Texas man asks blessing.
Teas SJttngs.
"rhe doctor said he'd put me on my
feet in two weeks" 'Well, didn't he do
it?" "He did, indeed. / had TO sell
my horse and buggy to foot his bill."-
1eSds Sifttngs.
Visiting clergyman lin Indian nation)-
Are all these Indians Christians? Irish
waiter-No, sur, not wan of thin; some
is Comanches, an some is EpiscopaliRns. -
Teas SitliRgs.
Owing to the STANDARDIZATION between
the two countries, Canadian mammas
| who visit American beaches will not be
permitted to fish in our matrimonial
waters. -LoaOeR Citizen.
Sam Jones, in speaking of converting
hard-hearted newspaper men, says he
couldn't touch reporter with 10-foot
| pole. He ought TO have tried 10-cent
cigar Washington Critic.
Dentist-'rhere's no use pulling that
tooth. It's as sound AS can be. Citizen
We'll, don't care il it is. Pull il, any
way. I'm bound to make an example of
il for the benefit Of the rest.
The Norristown Herald says that the
anarchist movement is composed princi-
pally of bombs and "bums, /" Yes and the
Most of the movement in this city was
found under bed.-Neso FORK Tribune.
Contributor is q manuscript /
wish to submit Editor (waving his
hand)-Tm sorry. We are all full Just
now. Contributor (blandly )-Very well;
| l will call again when some of you are
sober Boston Courier.
In o Weak State. -Landlady-''The
coffee, am sorry to say, is exhausted,
MIR. Smith" Boarder Smith-"Ah, yes,
poor thing. was expecting that; Ihave
noticed that for some time il hasn't been
strong. "-7erds Sittings.
Mr.. Startup-'I see that Richard Wag
| ner's gondola is offered for sale in Venice"
Mrs. Startup-"Wagner Wagner is
that the sleeping car man ?" Mr.. Startup
mo; the musician fellow, you know.
The gondola was his favorite instrument
I-Rdm6iey.
Pleasant for the 'er-Household. ~
Doctor Above all, no twice-cooked meat.
l never allow any at my table. It's fatal
| fatal, sir So is cold meat. Patient
But, then, what do You do with all your
cold meat? Doctor; Oh, the-er-chil-
dren, and-er-household eat it up.-
Judy.
There said Mrs. Highhyer, as her
daughter ceased from torturing one of
the high Numbered "ops" of Beethoven,
that's what call a finished performance,
Ell, Mr.. Jones ?" And Mr.. Jones nodded
and said, "Thank heaven !" Yet Mrs
Highhyer was not pleased with the assent
I-Musicai DirestOr.
Buttons-Letter, sir. Bearer wants a
answer, Mr.. Bumptious Bloward (who
has 'got on'')-Don't speak like that you
dreadful boy You never hear me say "a
answer" Buttons-No, sir; you put n
hatch in, sir. 'Taint your fault, sir
there weren't no school board when you
was boy, sir. Sacked. Fun.
Says the Burlington (Vt.) Free Press,
"We find alderman in the dictionary,
but not DOODLE How is this ?" They
are still very green up in the Green
Mountain State. Isn't our esteemed con.
temporary aware that the presence of the
'alderman" is satisfactory reason for the
absence of the "boodle Y''-BoStOn T1un.
script,
Testamentary Country parson (who,
in his poor old parishioner's last illness,
had charitably sent him n can of milk
every day from the yicarage): Well, Mrs.
POwley, and how have you been since
your sad loss Widow Yes, sir-poor
Izaak-he's gone But afore he went,
sir, he left the quart O. milk to come to
me daily, poor dear !-Iunch.
The editor of the Atchison Times re-
Gently ran for the proud position of
/ school director. Adverse fate or contu-
, macious voters did not permit him to
} reach the goal of his desire, but the I'M
daunted spirit sent out to the world the
( following announcement "'rhank God 1!
we have still rich heritage to leave our
children-the memory of their fathers
, virtues. " Chicago Neios.
The Minnesota Norweglans have again
-, been celebrating the discovery of America
by Niels Niedersson the Red. The exer.
cises opened with the reading of the
DECLARATION of Fjindependjienc and
closed with the singing of ......-..
I Hail Columbia, Fjhappy Jland,
4 FJall,yeJheroesk jheaven hjornyterne bland
v which wins given with vim that lifted
Y the Fjroof of the wjgwamj. Exchange
Q Herr Theodore Martin had Just played
n one of his most beautiful solos for a little
), company assembled ut the Schubert Mu.
IS steal Institute the other night when some.
] body whispered to Indy present saving
Ellis violin is about $50 years old" '.MJ
gracious !" replied the lady, 1.-TWO hun
If dred and fifty years Well if could pei
+ such music out of an old thing like that
W I'd have new one if had to steal II. ~
Il Chicago Nous. ..5...-.-.
d Student-"I want the new song, Hi
!, Him in the Eye" Clerk (aghast) :
W 'Whnt is that 2" Student Hit Him in
II the Eye Clerk Never was such +
Ie song and never will be-" Student-"M,
q teacher sent me for it, and he ought /,
u u know" CTeachers enters OPPORTUNITY.
II Teacher English, you know Give thi
Z lady the song ! sent her for, Hit HisI.'
~ (Pmsntrs ut Is II is produced. Red fire
d Curtain. )-Mustcl Herald
a And this is the arrogant fellow VIII,
80 only hungered for chance to prove wha
! he had printed. Bah He is only
a. cowardly and evasive liar, who woul,
i thrust poisoned barb into an innocen
NJ and unsuspecting victim and then flee from
I the consequences like n sheep. killing dog
a. lie would be buried beneath public con
tempt but that he inhabits moral abys
ii over which contempt floats like balloon
40 -LiHcolH journal.
w To Grover Cleveland, President of III
Id United States:
We know what is our debt TO thee
~ Ihon Just courageous, manly man:
III How high earths loftiest sent can he,
I'd How wise onr patriot fathers pnn.
lis Thy loftincss and wisdom prove
ri, | Fart OF our debt we now would nav
he Cttering our thankfulness and love
"a TO thee on this, thy Wedding 1nv