Morning journal and courier., 1886-07-16
PROPER.

A Proper Question: She-"John, why do you spend so much time at the ball games? '? hear of your being there every time they play Don't you consider it waste of time and moneyq' He-"Heavens, Alicia, don't you want me to have some sort of standing in the business world?'-Tid Bits.
 Cruel.-She-'1 am going to the beach and want to get some sort of 8 bathing cos tune. Most of them are so ludicrous, you know. Can't you suggest something that will prevent me from making fright of myself?' He-"You might keep beneath the surface of the water. r."-Boston Tran script.
 Mamie" said 8 young man in an ice cream saloon, toying with his check, do you know that chemist has discovered ty rotoxicon in Ice cream?" answered Mamie, manifesting pleasurable surprise. "I won der what made it taste so good. I could eat another plate of it." And the young man mentally cursed the lamentable failure of his scheme.-Norristown Herald.
 Two sons of the Emerald Isle sauntered up Fremont street recently and halted in front of the Cyclorama of Gettysburg. "1 say, Pat. do yer moind the name on that build ino.'' queried one. "Faith do, but be gorra, I can't make it out," was the reply q guess it must be 8 judes name for gas honse," said Pat, and off he went, happy at the solution of the problem. m.-Norfolk Coun- ty Gazette.
 q desire, " said Miss Esmeralda Longcof- fin, entering music store on Austin ave- nue, ito purchase piece or nusle for my little brother, who plays on the piano."
 ssHere, Miss, is precisely what you want"
 ''What is the name of itr"
 "'The Maiden's Prayer for fifty cents."
 "Only fifty cents? Why, he's much further advanced than that, for last month he play ed a piece worth seventy-fve cents. Haven't for. hnIlarV-IaYAa ings.
 At the Temple Place tonsorial trlnmers Spicer had just settled himself in the chair for a summer short cut, when the artist in attendance threw over him a calico apron on which were pictured innumerable little grey hounds; "That is very aPpro7pEate, t'7 sald Seth 'EYy do you call ze little dogs appro- priate MrSpizareg' asked the hair butcher as he tucked the apron into his victims neck until his eyes bulged. "Because,' gasped Spicer, 'greyhounds are good to catch the hare" Such a silence fell upon the room that the milliner next door looked in to see if anybody had dyed.-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 Guibollard takes promenade in the Sa- lon, in company with young painter who has a picture on exhibition, which has been commended by the committee. Show me-" said the former, ''your picture that has se. cured honorable mention" "There 1t IS, said the artist-"portrait of a woman: s'Very, very fine as to execution" said Gui- pollard, t'but how the devil did you come to choose such an ugly models, "Indeed, sir, this is my mother" replied the artist, color ing quickly Your motherl" exclaimed Gui- pollard with confusion. Pardon, mon sieur, am stupid. ought to have per ceived it at glance. You are as alike as two peasl"-French Fun.
 He was real nice young man, wore good clothes, went to Sunday school with regular ity and had an excellent opinion of his own moral character He walked into great clothing store in search of 8 situation and said: q would like place." Amy expe- rience7" 'tNot much; but I am man of good habits" s'So?' "Yes never swear or drink or chew; never play cards or go to races; don't bet on base ball games or go round at night" Anything elseF' don't gamble, frequent bucket shops or bet on cleo tions The employer seemed satisfied, for he called out to the head salesman with ''James, just see if our angel department is full, and if not send this young man up."- Cincinnati Sun.