News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-11-18


gray Would be sure to make you
smile. Twas strongly built, and
there isn't dent to be seen in
the rim oreroTn, Which shows -
the former prOprietOrs had
No habit Of painting the
town. 1t was never mashed
oerelection news, Nor kicked
in an opera hall. Twas gal
lantly doffed to the danes of
| o d With grace that would
now appal. Its years endear it.
will not wear it; For how would
the people roar To see me airing the old
gray hat My father and
grandfather wore
A. W. BELLAw.
TAKING BIG CHANCES.
''You ask me to marry you, George, "
she said slowly. ''Do you know that !
am rich 2
eyes"
''In my own right ?"
"Yes."
"And that you will have to come to
me for money %
Eyes"
''Even for car fare ~
eyes"
''And that you may have to walk in
pleasant weather %
eyes"
"And are you willing to marry me
and take the chances 2"
yes"
''Then am yours, George, and hope
you may be happy. IN Y. Sun.
NO CHANGE NECESSARY.
There is a millionaire in town who
has a great reputation for meanness.
Most millionaires have that reputation,
| but most of them are mean to their
! friends and relatives and others. This
man is mean to himself as well. This
millionaire was interested in some of the
recent failures, and made some sweep
ing losses.
"Oh, it's awful awful ! Pm ruined,
quite ruined y he said to fellow suf-
ferer.
81 am sorry, but, after all, there's one
great thing in your favor"
"What is that; can't see it,"
"1Ou won't need to change YOUR
mode of life at all."-iSan francisco
| Ct,0nicGe.
AN EDITOR.
Editor Daily Paper-"so you would
like job on the paper, Rastus %
Rastus-"Yes, sab. kinder feels dat
wud make er good journals wifi a lit
tie 'sperience.
Editor-"Q likely Well, Rastus,
we'll give you a trial. You can carry
that ton of coal on the sidewalk UP to
the sixth story, then wash down the
windows, and scrub the floor, and clean
the subcellar, and"
Rastus-''I say, boss, reckon I'll ~
an gIt er job on weekly paper fust.
Gittin' out paper every day am too
much oh a strain on er pusson what has
nebber had no iournalisticum 'sperience.
Deed it is. ."-Puck.
IN FRANCE.
His parents wanted young Leon to
marry girl with slight defect of the
visual organs.
~ will try to get used to it," pro-
tested the young fellow, "but though
she is charming and extremely distinguc,
she squints horribly"
"What funny mistake" !" laughed his
father. why, where is everybody
looking since this blessed Bulgarian
business began She is only doing
what everybody else is dong, and l
read every morning in my paper that,
'All eyes are now turned toward the
East
ON DUTY.
"Do you think that Colonel Yerger is
going to run again for the Legislature z"
asked an Austin gentleman of friend.
II know that he Is.
"Did he tell you SO :"
"No."
"Then how do you know he is gong
to run again ~
'You see l live near him, and his
wife is beginning to pay back tea and
coffee theV borrowed q year ago, just
after he was defeated. He is beginning
already to win over the dissatisfied ele
ment of the party n-1er0s Sytin9s.
HOME, SWEET HOME.
Lady docking at Harlem tiat)-The
rooms seem very small.
Janitor lfrankly)-Yessum, de rooms
am small fo' fac.
Lady--I don't see how my husband,
baby, and l could ever go to bed IN that
room.
Janitor-Yo' might do as de other
lady an gcmmen did what occurpied de
rooms befo
Lady-How was that
JanltOr-Dey went ter bed tandem
". Y. Sun.
DUPLICATED WEDDING PREsE rs.
Niece Showing the wedding presents
to Uncle George) l wanted you to see
them all, dear Uncle George, so that
YOU wouldn't send a duplicate. DupH-
cate wedding presents are SO annoying,
you know.
Uncle George-H-m! What's this ?
Niece That's papa's check for one
thousand dollars. Isn't it lovely Q
Uncle George--Very. | intended to
send the same thing, but rather than
annoy you with duplicate present I'll
lust make it five hundred.-N y. Sun.
VERY CONS DERATE INDEED.
Here is a good Irish story we fancy
it has not been in print before. A pair
of victims" are waiting behind hedge
for their landlorl--guns loaded, cooked
and ready for action. 1t IS past the
time at which he was expected to go by.
Still they wait, and wait, until at last
they become uneasy.
"Bedad, Pat" says Tim, 81 hope
nothin' has happened to the poor ould
ijntleman WhttehaU He0iep.
WHY HE DIDN'T ASK HER.
'sTheres one thing like about you"
said Charley's girl to him, the other
evening. each of my former lovers
was continually asking me if he was the
only one | ever loved. You have never
asked me that question"
''No. To tell the truth" answered
Charley, "the last girl l asked that of
rang q chestnut bell on me, and l have
never asked the question since. ~ Y.
Sun.
MAIN STRENGTH REQUIRED.
Mrs. Hendricks, the landlady Cat Sun
day dinner)-I am not feeling at all well
to- day, and | am becoming conscious OF
the fact that | am not as strong as used
to be.
Dumley Csympathetically)-One never
appreciates good health until one loses
it. If you are not feeling strong, Mrs.
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