Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-08-12
No. IS.

And Negetate in clover.
a genuine hum-bug-the locust.
No man would hang IL picture frame
because of its gilt.
A friend in need is q friend-whc
generally strikes you for quarter.
Of no use to any one but the owner
u black eye.
What bar is it that often opens and
never shuts ? A crow bar.
What resembles cat looking in the
window ? One looking out.
Why is an editor like tailor? Be-"
cause he has to deal with many goose
An overdue steamer-the tea~kcttlo
that failed tc boil with its usual rapid
ity.
Pa. said IL 5-year old son, can a rope
walk: 2 4 think not my son, answer
ed the father, "but it might if it were
taut.'
Man. said Adam Smith, is an ami
NAL that makes bargains No bother ami
NAL does this-no dog exchanges bones
with another
4 aim lo tell the truth, said q New
Ioak Fisherman. yes interrupted
an acquaintance, 'and you are probably
the worst shot in America.
'Ah, said Jebokus taking his friends
baby, he has got his mothers eyes
and my hair he added, as the youth
ful prodigy grabbed him by the foretop.
Policeman-IIave you a permit to
play here ? Organ -Grinler-No but
it amuses the little ones so much, Po-
lceman--Then you will have the good
ness to accompany me. Organ grinder
Very we'll, sir; what do you wish to
sing?
The Jealous man is always hunting
for something he does not expect to find
and when he has found it he is mad
because he has.
A mar must look up hopeful, partic
uiarly when he is trying to drink tron
jug.
What kind of man gives his wife
the first reading of the daily paper? A
blind man.
When a man has been married three
times it is drivclling idiocy to doubt
his courage.
well, wife. you can't say l contract
bad habits NO, sir, You generally
expand them
what is ease p asks philosopher,
Ease is Thousand dollar salary at u
hundred dollar job.
Why is in old maid like dried or
ange? Because neither of them Is
worth good squeeze.
We hear u great deal about the con.
sumption of fish. We wonder they
don't take codllyer oil.
Hats and bonnets are coming down
about an inch. If they come down
there will be something to write about.
1t must BE- glorious fun to 80 court
ing IN Greenland. The nights are
about three months along.
Sueing a newspaper editor for libel
is about as sensible as to boil u brick
bat to Get lamp oil out Of it.
An actor laid down before Il moving
railroad train and appeared in two
parts Immediately altcrward,
In England now the lover gives his
betrothed three engagement rings Girls
here are glad to get one.
A blacksmith's bellows which will
blow itself has been inyented, and the
ward politicion can step down and out.
Shakespeare was not broker but
does any one know OF another man who
has furnished so many stock quota
tons?
An exchange says What are these
sweet-scented, little cancd young men
with hair parted in the middle, good
for anyhow?
A man sald of IL painter he knew,
that he painted a shingle so exactly
like marble, that when it fell into the
river it sank.
If a woman could talk out of two
corners of her mouth at the same time.
there would be a good deal said on
both sides.
What is pride, my son, said father
to his little boy. "Walklng with
cane when yon amt lame he said.
A Frenchman has found that by
placing a few drops Of g'ycerlne and
water into the corners Of the eyes of
dead persons their ltelike appearance