Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-07-17
MisreIlanrrus.
The Bad Boy Again.
THE TROUBLES IN WHICH He GETS HIl
DEAR PAIN SLEEPING-CAR.

HAS nibs come down to breakfast yet ?''
asked the bad boy of clerk in Wash
ington hotel, as he leaned up against the
counter with his elbow on the marble slab.
and took handful of toothpicks and put
them in his vest pocket.
WHO'S nibs ?'' asked the clerk. as be
gave the boy look that would have froz-
en- him any other climate. II do not
know of any Nibs stopping at this house.
Who do you mean and what do you want p
MY pa. Don't you know pap and
the bad boy looked at the clerk as though
he must be poorly posted on the great
men if he didn't know pa. Pa is that
big duffer in room 40. with ma, and |
sleep with the help. You must have seen
pa. His nose is red and kind of italic, it
stands sideways so. and he is frightened
all the time, as though he expected some
thing was going to drop on him."
.Oh, yes, know him." said the clerk.
~ thought he was western senator on
his first trip to Washington. he seemed to
have such a great weight on his mind. He
was sitting in the Office last night, think
ing, and he put up his elbow every little
| while, as though 10 ward off something.
| thought he had the whole country on his
mind So your pa is not statesman ?"
"Naw," said1he bad boy with con
temptuous curl of the lip. PA is no
statesman. He was never even an alder
man. He is Just down here for fun, and
he is having it. 1t is not the country he
has on his mind. 1t is me. We came
down on sleeper from Chicago, and pa
got into the worst fix you ever see. You
see he had lower berth. and | had the
one over him, and ma had lower next to
our section They have a card with the
number of the berths, hung on the cur
tain, and | thought what trouble it
would make if somebody was mean
enough to change the numbers on
the curtains Pc got up in the night to go
the porter was going to black his boots,
and while he was gone thought it
wouldn't do any hurt to change pas num-
Der to mas berth. There isn't any harm
in a mans going into bed with his own
wife, is there? If | had been mean,
would have changed the number and put
1t on the berth occupied by an old maid
and rat terrier, next to ours on the 9TH
err side, but | didn't want no strange
woman scratching pa, and didn't want
no dog chewing pas shirt in the night, so
! changed it on to mas berth. Well YOU'D
a died if you had been there. Pa came
waltzing down the aisle, balancing him
self against the berths, and the cars were
going offul fast. He looked at tie cars
until he found number eight, and he sat
down, pulled off his slippers and rolled
in.
Ma was dreaming she was an angel,
and when she felt crowded she woke up,
and then she found there was man there.
Pa at the same moment found there was
woman there. and he thought he had got
in with the old maid Pa was Just 90
ing to apologize and say it would not
happen again, when ma screamed, and
braced herself against the back side of
the berth, and kicked pa out on the floor.
She thought pa was the porter, or some
total stranger. and she was mad, and she
called him names. Her screams brought
the porter and the conductor and they
took pa into the Mushroom and told him
he was an old william, and he admitted
that he was. and one held him while the
other went into the car and told ma to
keep quiet, as she was in luck that she
was not robbed and murdered, as the man
who had insulted her was one of the
worst looking Williams they had ever seen.
and tney were going to hold him until thu y
got to Pitt sburg and turn him over to the
authorities. Pa sat down on n marble wash
stand and sighed. He said he knew he was
wretch and ought to die, and was willing
to, but he asked as a special favor that
they bring him his pants. All the male
passengers got up aud dressed themselves
and went in the washroom to see the rob
Der. and he was explaining to them that
it was all mistake and that he had got
in the wrong berth
| It was now getting daylight. and every
body got up aud had their ber:hs made
and pa insisted on going in the car and
apologizing to the woman he had got in
bed with. and they let him. He walked
up to the old maid and told her that when
he got in bed with her he had no idea that
she was in mis- berth, and asked her ii she
didn't know any better than to go prowl
ing around in other folks beds. and tina
she was old enough to know better. Well
she screamed and said, take the lunatic
awayp And then ma. who was sitting
two seats ahead. see it was pa who has
got into the berth with her, and she tolC
euS hihh HVt W ooihVi pa. rs !
right to get into any berth that he har
paid for, and there was no use making
any more fuss about it. She said she
screamed and kicked pa out OF bed be
cause she had right to, aud that she of
ten did so at home and that pa enjoyed it
This set things all right again, and pa anC
ma sat down again and had quite visit
Pa sat and thought quite while, and Their
he whispered to ma, and ma called me tc
her and asked me if | had changed the
cards on the curtain, and said, Mother
| cannot tell a lie, did" And then she
said: Don't let it occur again. "and will
never do it again, cause | now realize
how little thing like that is liableto make
trouble. think it is wrong to lie. All
| Here comes his nibs and her nobs down
on the elevator to breakfast Don't pa
look like senator, though ?'
And the bad boy and his pa and his
ma went off together, apparently as happy
as any trio in Washington while the clerk
said to the cashier: If that was my box
/ | would kill him.
Jim Murray's Hunting Exploit.