The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1886-10-31
SMALL SELFISHNESS.
WHICH DIMINISH THE
HAPPINESS OF A FAMILY.
First Reading of the Morning Paper
Letting Ono Daughter Do Housework
While Another Remains Idlc-List OF
Other Self1shnesses.

Other Selhshnesses.
One does not particularly care to have the
first reading Of the morning paper, perhaps;
but when one never gets 1t until another per-
son, who has no more need or hurry IMAM
ones self. has not only read it, but studied it
and committed the advertisements 10 mem
DRY, one possibly. through habit, expects
nothing else, but just as possibly feels silght
indignation at the way things are taken Tor
granted and ones self ignored. In the same
manner one does not, perhaps, expect the
most comfortable chair in tho room AS ones
own set property but when another indi-
vidual. and that always the same one, takes
it as il it was an heirloom, one Is exceed
ingly unsefsh ones self not TO feel Ike max
ing that seat something less comfortable 1or
its sitter, although one might DO restrained
by the knowledge that in such resort the SITTER
would take tho next most comfortable chair,
leaving others to take refuge where they
might. and be no better off than in the begin
ming.
So. moreover. one sees no especial occasion
for any one individual i'm the family TO mo
nopolize. whenever evening comes, the one
place that has the most light for either book
or work or play, regardless who sits IN the
dim corner, or who has shadow thrown
where the strength of the blaze should TALL
II really cannot see anywhere else" says the
monopoizer, TRANQUILITY, as if in full eNplaha-
ton, and as if the others eyes were OF az
fcrcnt lens altogether, innocent OF the facC
that no one else can see either and that 1t
may not be positively important that the mo-
nopolzer should see at all, since such I'M
portance depends very much on what you SEQ
and how you look at it.
4 sclfshness as bad as any Of the other
forms occurs among those members OF house
hold where there is insufficient help who DO
not lift their fingers TO assist IN the lighter
work that in such instances falls on the family
itself. and who see others ckinS out the work
and filling the gaps with busters and dish
CLOTHS and brooms without taking part-people
who certainly are not TO be looked at in the
light of promoters of that comfortable feeling
which springs from the sense Of equal rights
and liberties to all Why one daughter sits
with her novel while another scours the paint
is question that may well perplex the OBJ
server, who fails to see that it IS because one
will and the other won't, although the one
who will cannot, in spite of herself, hinder
feeling of wrong done to herself, and some
sensation of jealousy occasioned by the APP
pearance of favoritiSm which does not help
to make family jars impossible.
We have known of mothers who carried
the opposite idea so far that, able TO keep no
servants. as it CHANGED, they refused to let
the daughters wait upon the sons. seeing no
reason why the sons should not make the beds
they slept in, and if they wanted to wear
clothes requiring hard ironing, such as linen
and duck and nankeen, should not do the
ironing with their strong hands and muscles
But those mothers were exceptions IN world
Of over INDUCED SONS, yet we doubt not that
they made matters easy for their future
daughters-in-law, who without wishing their
husbands TO do such labor, or TO eilemlnlze
themselves in any similar way, yet reaped the
benefit of those husbands having been early
taught 70 consider the rights Of wives and
daughters and sisters.
But other selhshnesses as irritating as the
grasping of the best seat and best light and
best novel and first chance at book or news
paper can be met with at every turn III many
families the selfishness, let us say, that, hav-
in, views on any questions conflicting with
the views of another, will give voice to those
views in season and out of season, and Obtrude
them even to the injury of the feelings OF
others. and if not early and late insisting
upon them, yet never failing to read the
| fragment from book or journal unpleasantly
/ supporting them, and indulging IN the audi
/ bic sniff or sheer or outspoken innuendo, II
such a thing there be, on every occasion
where the indulgence is possible, selishneSs
/ that shows consciousness OF the value OF no
ones views but ones own, and treats the IN
/ dividuality of all others with contempt.
4 similar selfshness is that which dis
regards engagements, which considers the
promise TO be at home on u certain day or
/ fixed hour as of no weight beside the incon-
venicnce of keeping the engagement, and
who. in this manner, disturbs the household
ARRANGEMENTS by making meals wait, while
so-rants grow impatient and unwilling, and
r-s GROW tired with watching and ears
With listening, just Us much rs the almost
precisely opposite selfishn9Ss insists upon the
keeping of such promises and engagements,
even 10 the point of positive discomfort and
injury 10 the other party, who perhaps
cannot keep them without such injury and
could DO excused by one with any unselfish
care One would find it hard to come to the
end of a statement of these small acts Of
selfshness which infest the household, and
aurt it through burning sense Of the in
Justice done by them; and it is a question if,
with the present imperfection of human
aature, we shall ever quite escape them;
they are as countless as gnats in a storm, and
as exatious.-Harper's Bazaar.
Human Nature.