davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-11-04
Statistics Wouldn't Lie.
A Lover Loses His Sweetheart
Through His knowledge of
Figures.

A young English statistician who
was paying court to Il young lady
thought to surprise her with his im-
mense erudtion. Producing his note
book she thought he was about to in
dite IA lOye sonnet, but was slightly tax
Ell aback by the following question
How many meals do you eat day p
'Why, three, of course but of all the
oldest questions y
Never mind, dear, III tell you all a
bout it in n moment
His pencil was rapidly at work. At
last, fondly clasping her slender waist
and
Now, my darling, I've got it, and if
you wish to know how much has pass
ed through that aporahle little mouth
in the last seventeen years, Can give
you the exact figures
Goodness gracious What can you
mean p
Now, just listen, says he, and you
will hear exactly what you have been
obliged to absorb to maintain those
charms which are to make the happi-
ness of my life
But don't want to hear
'Ah, YOU are surprised, no doubt, Jut
statistics are wonderful things. Just
listen. You are now seventeen years
old, so that in fifteen years you have
absorbed oxen and calves, 81 sheep and
lambs, IA; chickens, 327 ducks, 2O4
geese, u; turkeys, 100; game of various
kinds, S24; fishes, 100; eggs, 324 Yege-
tables (bunches), 700; fruit (baskets),
COS cheeses, 103 ; bread, cake, Ne. lin
sacks of -FOUR, 40; wine (barrels), IL +;
water (gailons), 3,0O0.'
At this the maiden reyolted and,
jumping up, exclaimed
Il think you are very lmpertinent and
disgusting besides, and will not stay
to listen to you!' upon which she flew
into the house.
He gaZed after her with an abstract
ed air and left, saying to himself:
IF she kept talking at that rate II
hours out of "a her jaws would in II
years travel Il distance of 1,332.l24
miles
The maiden within two months mar
ried well-to-do grocer, who was no
statistician.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-11-04
Gould Not Pay His Bill.

Now that we are engaged come and
let me:introduce you to papa saidMiss
Pottleworth.
Il believe l have met him BEFORE re-
piled young Spickle.
But in quite another capacity than
that Of n son-in-law.'
'Yes-er; but I would rather not
meet him tonight
'Oh, you must
And despite the most violent strug-
giles of the young man, he was drawn
into the library, where large, red-fac-
ed man, with sQuint in one eye and
an enlargement of the nose, sat looking
over a lot of papers.
Father said the girl.
Hum y he replied, without looking
up.
Il wish to present you to-
what = he exclaimed, looking up
and catching sight of young Spickle.
Have you the impudence to follow me
here Didn't l tell you that l would
see you tomorrow p
why, father, do you know Mr..
Spickle p
Il don't know his name, but | know
that he has been to my office three times
day for week with bill. know
him well enough. l can't pay that bill
tonight, young man. Come to my of
fee tomorrow
Il hope you do not think i'll of me,
said Spickle. Il haye not come TO col
lect tie bill you have reference to,
but
'What Got another one p
You persist in misunderstanding
me. | did not come to collect bill. l
can come tomorrow about that. To-
night proposed to your daughter. and
have been accepted. Our mission is to
acquaint you with the fact, and gain
your consent to our marriage
We'll, is that all p asked the old fell
low. Blamed if l didn't think you
had a bill. Take the girl, if that's
what you want. But say, didn't tell
you to bring the bill tomorrow p
Yes, sir
well, you needn't. Our relations
are different now. Wish had a daugh-
ter for every bill collector in town.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-11-04
Riding an Avalanche.
The Terrible Experience Of Two
Miners in Colorado.

During the great storm recently
two sturdy miners started to ascend
one of our neighboring mountains
with the intention Of working claim
that lay near its crest They made
the trip on Norwegian snow-shoes, on
which they worked their way up IL
narrow gulch leading to their proper
ty. As they journeyed on, one Of
them got to be some two hundred
yards in advance Of the other, and it
was while this distance separated
them that the leader by an unhappy
step overturned top-heavy mass of
snow and started dreadful slide He
seized hold of o convenient tree and
called to his companion to Look outn
The tree was small and bent over un-
der the weight of moving snow. He
let &C and started with the snow. The
long shoes by this time were firmly
anchored in the moving mass, and he
was hurried along with no power to
stop himselfby seizing the trees which
he passed Fortunately, he was on
the tail end of the avalanche, and thus
rode it in safety, with nothing coming
behind to cover him up.
When he found he had thus to be
an unwilling passenger upon the ter
rible train he looked ahead to see what
had become of his partner. The lat
ter, seeing that there was no escape
on either side, turned heels to the roar
ing mass and started on liie-and
death run right down the gulch. Then
followed wild and thrilling chase.
The man who was anchored on top of
the snow yelled at the man in front to
run, while he who was pursued strain
ed every muscle to keep out of the
jaws of the death that was close at his
heels The sight would have been a
musing if it had not been of such q
serious nature. The race was kept
up for more than a mile, and during
the entire distance the fellow who was
on top kept yelling, "Run, you -
rum and the hair of the fellow who
was running held his hat poised four
inches from his head while ne headed
for the valley. Often the rolling snow
struck the heels of his shoes, but it did
not quite get him. More quickly than
it takes to tell it the hunted man dash
ed out into the valley, and what he
thought was safety. The valley, how
ever, was more dangerous than the
mountain, as an unseen gulch crossed
it, into which the hunted man fell.
Providence. though, was kind to him,
for the slide had spent its force, and
the snow piled up on the bank over
which he had fallen.
When the two were able to look a.
round one was lying at the bottom OF
the gulch, while the other was seated
upon the crust of the snow bank that
| looked over its edge.-Aspen Times.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-11-04

Electricity has been used IN England
to drive threshing machine.
A high hill at Chimapia, in Mexico 4,
was lately split completely in two by
an earthquake.
Paper shoes are now made in Eng
land with success. They are made OF
papier mache ,and answer in all respects
the purposes Of leather:
In Scotland incubation for pleuro-
pneumonia has been performed on cat
tie with good success. The operation
was performed on the lower joint of the
tail. Why that was necessary is not
plain, especially as the animals thereby
lost part of their tails.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-11-04
NEWSPAPER LAWS

II subscribers order the discrimination
newspapers the publishers May continue
send them until all arrcagiccS are paid
" subscribers refuse or ne l,ct IG lake thelr
newspapers from he uiIicc a. wuthtli N;tresent
they are held responsible wti Trey h'tVcSettied
tin bills and urdcrc Il them di>ct l'hiurd.
If IfsuhScribers muNe to other place ntthaEtln
forming the publisher, and The newspapers are
Ncnt o the former place, they are Responsible.
ADVERTISING RATES.
square yk VIZ s4SS nSj amGs IS G%Gs Is ysS 60
Z 1000 800 IS 500 Go IS 77SSS%G
One inch makes a square. Administrators
n nd ENncninrA, Nnlicns - 50. Iransinnt lilA
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-11-04
ADVERTISING RATES

One inch makes n square. Administrators
and Executors Notices $50. Transient adv er-
tisementS and locals 10 cepts per line for first
insertion and cents per line for each addition
nj insertion
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
THE UNION,
Daily and Weekly.
A,.n Oussceme'et for 1886.
THE DAILY UNION.

THE UNION, though less than year old
as met with n degree of success and gained
friends far in excess of its expectations when
the venture was inauRurated. Tho who
have been thus kind in their patronage are
entitled to The URion's profound gratitude,
which it is unnecessary to assure them is July
accorded Feeling that the time has arrived
whenthe public demands require the issuance
OF ! rger Pa The Union has decided to
increase to eight pages, the first issue mas ug
its appeP rance Jan. J., 1886. 1t has been in
duced to take this step on account of the lin
tied space left by a generous advertising puJ
lie for the publication Of the new. Its news
gatherin facilities have been enl rged a.1d
extended, nd in quality and qur n ity its orig
inal articles will be improved. No portion OF
eyer-w idering field Of news will be nee.
lccteG The political intelligence from W. h
layton as well as the sOei al gossip at the cap
ital will be full and co pie Q. A th-r0u h
system of state correspondence has been or
SaniEed, reaching out into ever nook nd
C rner for the latest and freshest current
events.
The local force has been enlarged and in
this dep artment ii will be the aim of The I'm
ion to chronicle all the events OF the day in
Nash yille in IN entert lining manner. IND d
the effort will be to make it the best locu pa
per ever published in the city.
ihe financial and commercial columns OF
The Union will be kept up to the high standard
thai ban kers and merchants Throughout; i
erritOry have conceded TO them. Unbia ed
reports will be given in this important de-
psrtment Of the paper at all times.
Politically. The Union will undergo nc
change in its views. 1t will continue to sup.
as it continues to administer the government
| on true democratic principles, It's utter N cei
at all times will be, as heretofore, indep ndent
of cliques and rings.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
The School Fund.

Editor Exchange:
Permit me again, for the last time,
to cal the attention of our district di.
rectors 10 the report of a citizens com.
mittee appointed to investigate the
records of the school district, and as
certain the financial condition of the
same. After the o. ganizaticn of tie
committee, the secretary WIS instruct
ed to procure statement from the
county trustee for every warrant is
sued by the district directors and pai1
off by him from July, 1883, to July,
1885. The answer received came
from the county superintendent, CIV
ing statement of all the warrants
paid off by the trustee for the two
scholastic years above named. The
committee were governed in their
published report by the statement
made to them by the county superin>
tendent, and his reports of the amount
apportioned to the district for the
years above named. The committee
found from the two appointments
and the amount of warrants paid of
as reported to them by the county
superintendent there was still due
the district from the county nearly
$1,000 for the years investigated al
amount worth looking after by thos'
having our schools in charge. A citi
zen's committee may he of little con
sequence in their attempt to investi
gate public matters, but from the 81
lence that has been observed it
presumable that there is more trutl
than fiction in their report.
CITIZEN.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

Young lady, are you cross, nervous
and fretfulr Have you spells Of mel.
anchoIy, or are you wakeful nights?
How is your memory, and do you
feel vigorous? Are you pale, feeble
and inactlve2 If so, use one or twu
hotties of the Mexican Female Rene.
dy; it will restore you to health III
every particular and make you feel
bright, huoyant and happy. Sold by
Stewart u Banner.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
Stribling's School House.
February 8, 1885.

Editor Exchange:
feelings deep interest in the cause
of education and the elevation of the
standard of our public schools, and
having visited the school in this
neighborhood taught by Prof. S. A.
Mckinney, would wish to speak a
few words of commentator and
hearty approval of Prot. McKinney's
methods, and the lively interest he
has awakened among his pupils in
their respective studies. There is nc
better exponent of teachers ability
than the amount of interest he in>
spires in his pupils, and, Judging from
this tog.ther with the progress all Ot
Prof. McKinpay's students seem to he
making, any one willing to accorC
Justice must conclude that he is thu
right man in the right place. Any
community which secures the services
Of Prof Mckinney may we'll con
Oratulate thpmselvsS on obtaining 8,
efficient teacher. OBSERVER.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
MILAN EXCHANGE
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1856.
LITERARY NOTES.

The Southern Bivouac, for March,
will contain fac similo reproduction
of letter from Thomas Jefferson re,
lating to the Kentucky R solutions of
1913. In the same article will he Civ
en- an exact reproduction of the Off
cial copy of these ro.olutions as adopt>
ed by the Kentucky legislature, which
copy differs in many particulars from
the usually accepted version, 1t will
have paper descriptive of the Teche
(La.) Country fifty years ago. Paul
Fl. Hayne has prepared all account
of the defense of Fort Wagner, in
Charleston Harbor. His description
of the desperate assault made by the
Federal troops under Col. Shaw, and
its repulse, is very graphic. r. M.
Kelly has written an interesting
sketch Of John Williamson, Botanist
and Artist, which will appear with
numerous illustrations.
Harper's Magazine for March opens
with graphic description of Krupp's
gun-making establishment at Essen,
by Moncure d. Conway, effectively
and amply illustrated. Miss Wool
sons novel, EAST Angels" now APP
prOaches its conclusion, and the read
er's interest is wholly absorbed 10 the
heroic character of Margaret. A por
trait of the author, printed separated
on plate paper, is one of the features
of this number. {. H. Farnham cou
tinues his Canadian articles with al
entertaining paper on Cape Breton
Folk" beautiful ly illustrated by A
B. FrOst-one of the engravi1gs
"The Open-air Sacrament" having
the place of honor as the frontispiec
tn the number. "She Stops to Con
quer" is continued, including the frs
half of Act w., with more of Mr.
Abbey's charming illustrations. Dav
id Ker, as the result Of his recent Wis
it to Africa, contributes very in
structive and valuable description o
the resources and opportunities Of tn
three great river valleys Of Africa
those Of the Nile, the Niger, and tn
Congo. A good map accompanie
the paper. A series Of papers
especially interesting to the owners @
small holdings of land, under the ii
tie Of "rhe Home Acre." by E. F
Roe, is begun in this number Bran
DER Matthews contributes clever an
pathetic snort story entitled; brief
as Woman's Love" Mr.. Hugh Da
zepS paper on dogs and their Man
agement" is as useful as it is timel J
The author is a recognized authorit
on this subject. Mr.. George Williar
Curtis, in the Editors Easy Chai
discusses American Opera, and othe
subjects of social interest. Mr.. How
elIs's Study for this month is devote
To poetry.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

The volumes of the Bazaar begin with the
first number for Janu0ry of each year, When
tn at the subscriber wishes to commence with
the number next after the receiT Of order.
Bound volumes of Hurper's Bazaar for years
ba ck in noat cloth binding, will be sent by
mail, postage pa id. or by express, free of ex;;
one dola per volume), for 81 co per volume.
Cloth Cases for each volume. suitable fo'
binding. will be sent by mail, postpaid, on re
ceipt Of 81 90 each.
Remittances should be made by PostofRce
Money Order or Draft, to az old chance oflQ
Newspapers are MOTTO cory this advertise
HARPER & BROTHERS,
r. Nav York
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
1886.
Harper's Magazine.
Illustrated. o.,

The December number will begin the Seven
ty-second Volume of Harper's Magazine.
Miss, WOolsOn's novel; East Angels, and
for, m stplace in current serial fction-will
run through several numbers. and will be fol-
lowed bv serial stories from r. D. BlackmOre
ana Mrs. d. NJ. Craik. A new editorial de-
partment. discussing topics suggested by the
current literature Of America and Europe,
will be'contIibuted by W b. HoweIls, begin
ming with the January number. The great
literary event of the arwill be the publica-
ton of a series of demonstrating the shape Of
u story. and depicting characteristic features
of American society as seen at our leading
pleasure resOrts-written by Charles Dudley
Warner, and illustrated by G. S. ReiDhart.
The Magazine will give especial attention to
American subjec's. trea ted by the best Ameri-
can writers, and illustrated oy leading Amer
| ion N artist
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
1885
1886.
HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE.
An Illustrated Weekly.

The position of Harper's Young People NJ
the leading weekly perio lical for young read
no pains to provide the best and most attract
i've reading and illustrations. The serial and
short stories have strong and dramatic inter-
est, while they are wholly free from whatever
is pernicious or vugarly sen sationa ]; the pa
pers on natural history and science, travel
and the facts of life, are by writers whose
names give the best assurance of accuracy and
value. Illustrated papers on athletic sports,
games and pastimes give full information Oh
these subjects. There is nothing cheap about
it but its price.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

The haautiful crimson blush. the
bright sparkling e-'e, clear intellect,
are 50 often wanting among our most
Lovely females. an why? Because
thew are suffering frum some peculiar,
linrering fpmalr complaint. \ sure.
asRa and rfartnd remedy is Simmons
IrJu Cordial.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

An epitome ofeverything that is attractive
gnd desirable in juvenile INSTRUMENTATION
Courier
weekly feast Of good things to the boys
and girls IN every family which it visits
Brooklyn Union.
1t is wonderful in its wealth Of pictures. IL
forma ton and interest. -Christian Advocate.
n. Y.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

. The volumes Of the Maeazineb begin with the
Numbers for June n nd December en- ch year
When no time is specified. it will be under
stood that the subscriber wishes to begin With
the current Number ~" ''.''
Bound Volumes of Harper's Magazine,
three years back lin neat cloth binding, WI
be sent by mail, post paid ,on rec, ipt of $50
per. volume. Cloth Gases, for binding, Soc
eaeh-by mail, postpaid.
Index to Hsrper's Magazine. Alphabetic al
Analytical, and Classified. fur Volumes to
60, inclusive. from June. 1850 to June, 1880,
one vol. SvO., Cloth, $40C
kemittances should be made by Post Office
Money Order or Draft. to avoid chance of loss.
Newspapers are not to carry this advertise
Rent without the express order of Harper
Brothers. Address
HARPER Il BROTHERS New York.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
1896.
Harper's Bazaar,
Illustrated.

Harper's Bazaar is the only paper in the
world that combines the choicest literalure
and the finest art illustrations with the latest
ment. Its weekly illustrations and descrip-
tions of the newest Paris and New York styles;
with its useful pattern sheet supplements and
cut patterns. by ena bling la dies TO be their
own dressmakers, save many times the cost OF
subscription. Its papers on cooking. the man
agement of servants. and housekeeping in its
various details are eminent,v practical. Much
attention is given to the interesting topic OF
social etiquette, and its illustrations.of art
needle work are acknowledged to be un-
equalled. Its literary merit isini the highest
excellence, and the unique character OF its
humorous pictures has won for it the name OF
the American Punch.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
Terms; Postage Prepaid, so Per lear.
Vol. VII. commences Nov. 3. 1885.

Single Number, Five Cents each.
ReRittaDces should be made by Post-Ofics
Money Order or Draft. to avoid chance Of
loss
Newspapers are not to copy this advertise
inert without the express order of Harper i
BIciters. Address.
HARPER 4 BROTHERS. New YORK.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

Itch and scratches of every. kind
cured in 80 minutes by Voolford's
Sanitary Lotion. Warranted by DR..
NJ. D. l.. Jordan, druggist, Milan.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
WEEKLY.

The Weekly Union. whic CHI is the best paper
of its class ever published in Tennessee. is a
complete and reliable compendium of The
home and foreign news of the week. Special
attention is paid to its features Of late nd
accurate market reports aud an industrial
and agricultural depart ment carefully pre-.
pared for each issue. and printed and mailed
the day on which it is dated. The Weekly
Union is in these respects equal to any of the
agricultural papers, and the farmer and coup-
try readers will find that it gives more va'ie.y
and better news than can any of the orc.
idea or one. department par err. The price
Of The Weekly Union is 81 year. and n :
where else can those who are not conveniently
situated as to a daily receive as much valu
BILE information for that amount.
Sample copies can be obtained by application
personally or by lett-r.
In view of the fact that The Union has
doubled its capacity for furnishing its readers
with news matter il finds it necessary to re-
turn to its original scale of prices.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
HkRPER'S PERIODICALS,
Per Year,

AkPEh.S thhNhLlN SQU hhs III ,o
BRARY. One Year (52 Numbersl .....-lO 10
Postage Free to all subscribers in the United
States or Canada.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
Dissolution Notice.

TNHE COPAaTNERsHIP HERETOFORE
i existing under the firm name of Brown x
Dickson is this day dissolved 6y mutual con
sent; W. S. Brown having sold his entire in
terest and good will to JnO. NJ. Dickson. who
will continue the business at the old stand
Either member Sf the firm is authorized to re
persons Indebted 10 the firm by account are
earnestly requested to come promptly forward
and make settlement without delay.
The dissolution to date from Jan; 1885.
W. S. BROWN.
JN0. NJ. DICKSON.
Milan, Tenn, Feb LIST, 1886.
In retiring from the above firm | desire to
return tina INKS to my friends and PUBLIC for the
liberal patronage extended to me. Il is my
pleasure to commend to the trade my old part
ner and successor, John M. Dickson, VIII ;
is inevery way worthy of public confidence
and patronage. W. >. bho"N'
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20
HARPER'S PERIODICALS.
Fer Year:

Postage Free to all subScribers in the United
States or Canada. r.''
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-20

has attained standard Of excellence which
admits of no superior.
It contains every improvement that inventive
genius, skin md money can produce.