The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-07-25
THE TRUTH ABOUT MErHUsELAu.
Bill Nye Throws New Light on the History o.
an Old Settler.

THE TRUTH ABOUT METHUSELAH
Bill Nye Throws New Light on the History o.
an Old Settler.
l have just been reading James Whitcamh
Riley's response to s'The Old Man. at the ANIMAL
dinner Of the indianapolis Literary Club and his
reference to Methuselah has awakened in my
mind many recollections and "reminiscences Of
the grand old man. We first met Methuselah Ia
the capacity of son. At the age of sixty Eve
Enoch arose one night and telephoned his fam
lily physician to come over and assist him In
meeting Methuselah. Day at last dawue6
on Enochs happy home, and its first red
rays lit up the still redder surface of the
little stranger For three hundred years
Enoch and Methuselah logged along together
in the capacity of father and son. Them
Enoch was suddenly cut down. It was as
this time that little Methuselah first realized
what 1t was to be an orphan He could not At
first realize that his father was dead. He could
not understand why Enoch with no inherited
disease should be shufled out at the age of three
hundred and sixty-hve years. But the doctor
said to Methuselah sMy son. you are indeed
fatherless. l have done all could, but il is
useless. have told Enoch many time that IL
he went in swimming before the ice went out of
the creek it would finally down him, but ha
thought he knew better than did. He was
headstrong man, Enoch was. He sneered ct ms
and alluded to me as a fresh young gosling, be-
cause he was three hundred years older than /
was He has received the reward of the wisifuI
and verify the doom of the smart Aleck is his
Methuselah now cast about him for some 0e-
cupation which would take up his attention and
assEage his wild, passionate grief over the lass
of his father. He entered into the walks of meu
and learned their ways. 1t was at this time that
he learned the pernci0us habit of using tobacco.
We cannot wonder at it when we rember that hs
was now fatherless. He was at the mercy Ut
the coarse, rough world. Possibly he learned
the use of tobacco when he went away to attsud
business college after the death of his father-
Be that as it may, the noxious weed certainly
hastened his death, for six hundred years after
this we find him a corpse
Death Is ever surprie, even at the end OF
long illnesss and after ripe old age. To those
who are near it seems abrupt; so to his grand
children some Of whom survived him, his chill
dren having died of old age, the death Of Ne
thuselah came like thInderbolt from clear
sky.
Methuselah succeeded in cording up more az .
record such as it was, than any other man Of
whom history informs US. Time, the tomb
builder and amateur mower came and leaned
over the front yard and looked at Methuseiah.
and ran his thumb over the jagged edge of his
scythe. and went away whistling low refrain.
He kept up this refrain business for nearly zen
centuries, while Methuseah continued to stand
out amid the general wreck of men and nations
Even rs the young, strong mower going fosth
with his mower for to NOW spareth the tail aud
dignifed drab hornets nest and passeth by on
the outer side, so Time, with his Waterbury
hour-glass and his overworked hay. knife over
his shoulder, and his long Mormon whiskers, and
his high sleek dome of thought with its gray
lambrequin of hair around the base of it, moved
all around Methuselah and then passed on.
Methuseah decorated the graves of those who
persisted in dozen different wars He did not
enlist himself, for over nine hundred years of
his life he was exempt. He would go 10 the en-
listing places aud offer his services, and the Of
fcer would tell him to go home and encourage
&c 1ahs - TkAw Natl Al -
would sit around Noah's front steps, and smoke
and crticise the conduct of the war, also the con-
duct of the enemy
1t is said of Methuseah that ne never was the
same man after his son LaInech died. He was
greatly attached to Lamech and when he woke
up one night to find his son purple in the face
with membranous Group, he could hardly realize
that he might lose him. The idea of losing a
boy who had just rounded the glorious morn OF
his fifth year had FEVER occurred to him. But
death loves a shining mark, and he garnered
little Lammie and left Methuseah to mourn for
a couple of centuries
Methuselah finally got so that he couldn't sleep
any later than o'clock in the morning, and he
didn't soc how any one else could The older he
got and the less valuable his time became, the
earlier he would rise so that he could get an
early start AS the centuries filed slowly by, and
Methuselah got where all he had to do was
to shuttle into his loose fitting clothes and rest
his gums on the top of a large slick headed cane
extricate himself from his clothes again and re-
tire, he rose earlier and earlier III the morn
ing, and muttered more and more about the
young folks sleeping away the best of the day,
and said he had no doubt but that sleeping and
snoring till breakfast time helped to carry off
Lam. But one day old Father Time came along
with new scythe, and he drew the milestone
across it few times, and rolled the sleeves Of hts
red-fannel undergarment up over his warty ell
bows. and Mr.. Methuselah passed on to that un-
discovered country, with ripe experience and
long, clean record.
We can almost fancy how the physicians, who
had disagreed about his case all the way
through, came and insisted on post m ortem
examination to prove which was right and what
was really the matter with him. We can imag-
inc how people went by shaking their heads and
regretting that Methuselah should have tam
pered with tobacco when he knew that it affected
his heart.
But he is gone. He lived to see his own prom
ssory notes rise, flourish, acquire interest. pine
away AT last, and finally outlaw. He acquired a
large farm in the very heart of the county-seat,
and refused to move c. to plot and called IL
Methuselah's addition. He came out in spring
regularly for nine hundred years after he got too
old to work out his poll tax on the road and
put in his time telling the rising generation how
to make good road. Meantime other old peo-
pie, who were almost one hundred years of age.
moved away and went West, where they would
attract attention and command respect There
was actually no pleasure in getting old around
where Methuselah was and being ordered about,
and scolded, and kept in the background by him.
So, when at last he died, people sighed and
said: "Well, it was better for him to die before
he got childish. 1t was best that he should die
at time when he knew it ALL We can't help
thinking what an acquisition Methuselah will be
on the evergreen shore when he gets there, with
all his ripe experience and his habits Of early
rising"
Aud the next morning after the funeral Me-
thuselah's family did not get out of bed till near
~ o'clock
An Old Man Discovers p Simple Thing.
Elmira IN. " Gazette