Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1886-11-12
PEB BBLES.

PEBBLES.
A German decade-Limburger.
A husband at home is worth two in
saloon.
How to keep down taxes-sit on
the tax collector.
81 passed some "queer," and here |
am in prison, all on accounterfeit.
he sighed.
A woman's shoe that is "a mile too
big,"is never over foot in length.
Hovells is to write another novel,
with the scene laid in Italy. He wants
to make Rome Howell. perhaps.
The fact that man has not cut his
hair for ten or twelve years need not
necessarily imply that he is eccentric.
He may be bald.
EARTHQUAKES will be reached and
mastered in time. The future Ameri
can mother will utilize them in rock
ing her babies.
Hotel keepers in the mountains.
who are growing over unpaid board
bills, should remember that they live
in the owe-zone.
A subscriber asks US the question: !:
elbow can l prevent my boy from be-
ing fast?" Let him join the district
telegraph corps.
Nervous old lady (on seventh floor
of hotel do you know what precau-
tions the proprietor of the hotel has
taken against fire? Porter-Yis,
mum. He has the place insured for
twice wot it's worth.
There was a terrific riot in Chi
cago museum last week. The manage
ment advertised an invisible girl, and
the cultured populace of the windy city
waxed exceeding wroth because they
paid their admission fee and then
couldn't see the freak.
Call bov Ito old gentleman in green
room:) Mile. De Perchong desires me
to assure you that she will be down as
soon as sne recovers from her fatigue
and changes her clothes. Old gentle
man: "Here, hold on; | say, there
isn't anything serious the matter with
mother, is there?
Chicago man-Suppose you saw all
there was to be seen in Rome, Charley?
Returned European traveler--Oh, yes;
went all around. l tell you you oug ght
to visit the amphitheatre there. It's
grand. Chicago man-What kind Of
a show were they giving there when
you went, Charley?
When the Tenth Regiment, Z. S.
Infantry, was ordered to New Mexico
from the 'Lake Region" the little
son of captain did not approve of the
orders of the general of the army, and
indeed seriously objected to the change.
He hao heard much of the dreariness
of the wild West, and the Sunday
morning before the departure of his
fathers company said to his parents:
"Come, now, let US 60 to church and
say goodbye to God"
"Gracious! here comes that Miss
Flygh who eloped with old Smith
some time ago. said Mrs Brown,
nudging her husband. 81 have heard
so much about her that l want to get
a good look at her face, but l don't
wish to appear rude BY staring direct
ly at her." Gas you have your new
bonnet on, my dear" returned Brown,
call you need do is to turn around as
soon as she has passed and you will be
sure to get good view of her face"
81 vhas insulted to my face shust
now!' exclaimed Moses, as he walked
up and down in front of his clothing
store in an excited manner. How
by whom?" 'Dis place beside me
vas for rent as you see. A stranger
comes along und looks it oafer, and
den he cooms oop to me and says:
"Moses. vhas you insured? "Yes."
''For how much? ?" "Four tousand
dollar" He looks into der shtore
und backs oudt again and says:
"Um dot settles me. l rent dis next
door to keep shtock of asbestos"