Wichita eagle., 1886-12-01


housekeeping Up lovers and Provid-
ing Bogus Presents.
One of the most amusing products of mod
ern civilization is the professional groomS-
man. Society requires lacqueys who should
| act as dummies for the bellies of the season
until an eligible party makes his appearance
when poor augustus is retired to the ante
room TO hold wraps and shawls.
Augustus is usually some mild young man
with the softened manners of a girl, whose
voice is well modulated, and whose eyes are
large and rolling. He finds himself first in
vited to the big houses as kind of pad
ding, ladies being plentiful and acceptable
suffers few. As he is entirely harmless and
very convenient the girls take on over him
wonderfully. and as result he imagines that
he is I'm society" From this beginning he is
pushed forward until he becomes one of the
figures in the german, and later still develops
as the professional groomSman
To talk with one of these young men at the
beginning of a season furnishes food for
years reflection. He has advance informa-
ton of all the receptions which are to be
given, Of the prospective marriages, and Of
all else that is likely to transpire. In the
course of the season he viii be the escort of
perhaps twenty bellies of the ball" They
will ali smile on him sweetly. honor him with
their small talk, and occasionally grow semi
confidential. If Augustus should at any
time grow amatory he is good-naturedly
showed off, but permitted to retain little hope.
THEY ARE INDISPENSABLE
Such young men," said charming young
lady the other day, ARE Indispensable. They
wait upon Us with all the devotion of accepted
lovers; they are always ready to answer any
call made upon them; they hold our shawlS
and act a escorts when no one else can be
had, and. said she, dropping her eyelids de
murely. they are Of excellent service in
hurryin@ up slow lovers"
How is that" she was asked
We'll, when the young man hesitates about
coming to the point, we can grow sweet on
the dummies. The acceptance Of an invita-
tiou or two from them viii inspire a timid
lover with determination not 10 be outdone
He viii grow jealous, and within q week he
will either propose or take himself out OF the
way. OF course. we wald not be 50 heart
less as to deprive the dummy of his reward,
which comes 10 him in the shape Of request
to he one of the EroomSmen."
And thus it goes. The poor dummy, ND to
A4AS III 'stt'N si>tfl lit 10 tth
the presentation Of paSt-due bills. dreams
away his troubles while listening 70 ravishing
music in some house of high degree. where he
is filling his professional role He does not
think OF the future. for that viii reveal To
him the time when fresh padding viii push
him out He dareS not aspire To the hand q
one Of the fair ladies upon whom be waits.
for that VIII, in time, be claimed by some
schoolmate who worked hard for money while
Augustus" WAS idliuE away his time for 3
mention in the society column. He has no
sympathy at home. for lis mother and sisters
are never invited t. the fine" houses where
his figure is 80 often 70 be seen. Though in
the center Of the whirl Of society. he is As
completely Isolated from il a. if he sat upon
the north pole itself.
The writer once followed the announce +
rlent OF a winters fashionable marriages II
Nashville In eighteen marriages five names
appeared continuously As groomSmen. These
five men. who seemed to have n monopoly Of
the ~spiketaiI coat business, were nothing
more or less than dummies, who had been of
service to the brides. and who were being
thus repaid for the tender attentions Of half I
q dozen seasons. They were the stock III /
trade of q certain coterie. AMI had been privi- 7.
legged with seats at the kitchen conferences, /
where the details Of the bridal trouSSessu We're