Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-03-12
NATIONAL coRN-FlELp.
Thu Ohicial Chiropodist Who Has Charge
Of Congregational Corns.

obhlOU~ SOFn9s
The gas is always burning dimly in
the bathrooms of the House, and Rob-
ert's eyes are almost gone. Robert is
the colored man who has for a long
time been in charge of the baths. Will
liam is his assistant. He is younger
than Robert, and the dimness of the
light doesn't affect the keenness of his
bright little black eyes, and he is we'll
suited for the duties he has to perform.
He trims the Congressmen's corns.
William is a rather bright mulatto, and
very spry. Robert is darker in color,
has chin whiskers, and looks rather
sedate with eyeglasses on. But the
glasses don't help him much; he has to
take them Off to rest his ewes, and he
can't see much with them.
The House bathrooms arc in the
basement of the Capitol, in the south
east corner, under the elevator, where
the light of day never reaches. The
gas, like Roberts eyes, is very dim, and
can not reach very far.
'Is you the gentleman that wanted
his corns trimmed?" asked William, as
the reporter passed down the dim,
vaultcd corridor.
"Want a nice bathp" said Robert,
throwing a couple of towels over his
arm, and taking off his glasses, so as to
get a better look at the reporter.
"Why, do you have u %chiropodist
here?' asked the scribe, in surprise.
s'That's me-" said William. '.That's
what l am"
"That's him. echoed Robert. Then
he added: "He's a mighty clever hand
at it. I've seen him take a corn as big
as my thumb nail out ov a members
foot and never draw the red. Some ov
He's mighty clever bout it. If you've
got any corns you'd better let him get
hol' ov EN-"
While his praises were being thus
sung William stood modestly by, whet-
ting an odd-shaped knife on the palm
of his hand.
81 used to be a little clever in that
line myself" continued Robert. '.I's
cut the corns Of lots of the members
but my eyes got too bad O on ac-
count of that gas, an l can't see to dc
it. That gas is mighty bad on the eyes
and it takes bright mes like his to see
to cut corns and not draw blood"
"Do many of the Congressman have
corns?h asked the reporter, consciou:
that he had made a discovery. ''This il
a new field of study"
"You mean the corn-field? Yes, sir
that is a big field of labor" replied
William, seriously, unconscious Of hi,
very bad pun. GHOST all of them ha
corns. Some of 'em has pretty bae
ones. There's Mi. -" then h
stopped himself suddenly and added, 9.
disremembe. his name. but he's got aw
flu. bad feet. Is got most of those VIII
has been in Congress q long time il
pretty good trim. Some of them, whel
they first come in, are mighty hard t.
handle. Their feet's in bad condition
With the ingrowing nails, and bunion
they has a pretty hard time. 1t ain
those city gentlemen with tight shoe
that has the bad feet. It's them tina
hasn't had no one to tend to 'em. Why
there's -, but, as l was saying,
mostly disremember their ame How
somever there amt many that don
have corns. and most of 'em are bad
That gentleman whose name I Jus
didn't know had the most curious cor
l ever saw. He couldn't scarcely wal
about. 1t was a great big fellow jus
under his great toe nail, but got hin
OUT
care you paid by Congress especial,
to take care of the members fect?'
asked the scribe.
"Not exactly for that. Robert is il
charge of the bath and I'm his assistant
the rest is thrown in by me as a sort o
extra, and if the members want to Civ
me something for it they can. The,
mostly do, though l never charge an,
thing. They're mighty glad to get ri
of a big corn, and they amt slow abou
giving me something's Washington
STIR.