The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1886-12-11
dait and 9uuur,
An Executive Session.

her into his study.
swell, papa" she said sweetly, s'you sent
for me. What is it?"
envy dear daughter" he replied, II be-
lieve Mr. Blank has been to see you every
night for some time past2"
"Yes, papa"
"And he was here last night?"
eyes, papa"
aWell, daughter, want to know what
occurred between you during your protract-
ed interview in the parlor. ask it my
child, because I have especial reasons for
wishing to know"
Dear papa" replied the girl with tears
in her eye, ~ do not doubt your right to
ask what occurred there; but, papa, it was
an executive session; and, papa, you would
not have me divulge the secrets of such
meeting, would your"
The old man never said word in reply
The other day very dainty young
woman in black, with mourning veil-not
too mourning, just about mourning enough
so draped as to set off her shapely head
and neck to advantage, entered large
stationery store on Washington street, and
said sweetly to clerk behind the counter
eDo you have all kinds of mourning cards ?"
'Yes'm; we have the cards, and can get
them engraved for you" ''Oh, 1 don't
want the kind they get engraved want
playing cards, you know" Mourning
playing cards'' "Why, yes, don't you
think they would be real nice and tasty ?"
The clerk was obliged to confess that the
trade hadn't yet reached the point of sup
plying playing cards with mourning Dor
ders for bereaved lovers of whist and draw
poker, and the lady left the store visibly
disappointed.
A VIsIoN.-The Herald and Pres6yter
relates the case of young negro in the
South who was converted and wanted to
preach at once. His elders, however,
thought he was not fitted for this impor-
tant work; but he well-nigh staggered them
by relating vision, in which he had plain
" seen the letters sc. P. Co." which, he
believed, could mean only $50 preach
Christ But a white-haired negro
preacher slowly arose and told the ambi-
tious young brother that, while he had no
doubt seen the letters in vision, he had
failed in the Interpretation. They probably
meant ''Go pick cotton" or "Go plough
corn" This settled the matter.
An lrishman, some years ago, attending
the University of Edinburgh, waited upon
one of the most celebrated teachers of the
flute, desiring to know on what terms he
would give him few lessons The flute
player informed him that he generally
charged two guineas for the first month,
and one guinea for the second. "Then, by
my soul, replied the Hibernian, an be-
gin the second month";
"It's solemn thing, young man, said
the broken-hearted father, "to come into
the home of an old man and take away his
only daughter, the light of his household,
and the prop and solaee of his declining
years. But you have my blessing, and |
wish you every joy and"-"But 1 won't
take her away, sir, interrupted the young
man, inexpressibly affected. "We'll both
stay right here
A college professor, one of your precise
men, who measures off sentences as clerk
does choice ribbons, while bathing got out
of his depth and had gone down twice,
without saying word, when appearing the
!, third time, he rolled on bis back, and blowing
ifkea poIpoise, he exclaimed: at is an
ticipated that some one will, without any
unnecessary procrastinatiop, extend me
rope"
A browbeating counsel asked witness
how far he had been from certain place.
"Just four yards, two feet and six inches,
was the reply. How came you to be SO
exact, my friend?" because l expected
some fool or other would ask me; and so |
measured it.
"Pat, nay boy" said sympathizing
friend to dying man, 1--WE must all die
once" "That's just what bothers me,
responded the sick man. eff we could die
half dozen times apiece, I shouldn't mind
this once, at all at all"
Mabers mother noticed that she was
wandering from place to place, looking for
something very intently. "What's the
matter, Mabel?'' "Why, I've lost my fink,
and can't remember where l put my
fmble.
Mother" said little girl, ~ believe
I'll be duchess when l grow up GLOW
do you expect to become duchess, my
daug hter ?f' aWhy, by marrying Dutch
man, to be sure" replied the little girl.
"Why do you write SO very large a
hand ?" inquired friend of an Irishman.
"Arrah, dear, an isn't it to my poor
mother I'm writing? And she is very
def, SO I'm writing her loud lettheF;"
The girl who never screams ybep she
sees snake isn't safe girl to marry.
With her calm, cool, collected, unexcita-
able disposition she would hit with the
rolling pin every time.
A little boy about to be sent from home
to school protests. Grandmamma-But
we send you away because we love you.
Little Boy-Then l wish you didn't love
me.
Teacher-"What is an engineer. Boy
No. IA man who works an engine"
Teacher-"Wbat is pioneer p Boy No.
2-"The man that works piano"
A Denver paper devotes twenty-four
columns of space to negro murderer who
was hanged there last week. The sheriff
let him off with single line.
A man may read law and become law
yer; he may study medicine and be called a
doctor; but if he wants to be blacksmith
he must work at his trade,
Summer boarder-"I have heard that
silk tassels grow on your corn2' Farmer
"Yes, miss, regular gros grain silk it is,
too.
When a man falls liz love be courts his
sweetheart. Afterward she sues for
breach of promise and courts her lover.
An article. is going the rounds. "Do an
0ty NJ