Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-07-22
a WARNING EXAMPLE
Thrilling Story of the Value Of AEottoel
in Territorial Journ2llshn.ss.ssss :

Thrilling Story of the Value Of AEoetoel
in Territorial Journalism-@.-.4ss.
One or two persons have suggested
that this paper would get along bettel
if it had motto. They may be right
..Free and Unshackled," .'Our Aim
the Peoples Welfare and ''Truth i.
Mighty and Occasionally Prevails
are all good. secondhand notices
somewhat worn along the edges bu
still in pretty fair condition. We have
also thought of several others, includ
ing keep off the Grass" ''Sic Sempel
Tyrannis" and "Free Thought Free
Speech and Free Lunch" but have &C
far rcfrained from running up any o.
them. We have been influenced in the
matter somewhat by the remembrance
of one H. Junius Browne.
Mr. Browne was a pale, scholarly
bubble who came out to the frisky and
vivacious West to engage in the hon
, orable profession of journalism. He
settled down at place called Hick' S
Hollow and brought out the Weekly
Palladium. Right under the head he
put this motto in large, square
shouldered type: Here Shall the
Press the Peoples Right Maintain;
Unawed by Influence and Unbribed by
Gain" On another page he an
nounced: mo Pent-up Utica Con-
tracts our Powers" POLICY is an Idol
Principle God" Founded by H.
Junius Browne. Cordwood, Fresh
Hay and other Country Produce taken
the same as Cash.
Junius ran the paper along during
the summer and it began to look as il
he would soon have to begin on diet
of notices. He was canvassing the
prospect of roast motto on toasted
platitudc when the fall campaign slid
in on the community.
| The Palladium began to talk about
the best men for the different offices
when one day a candidate for county
sheriff came in and said:
"Mr. Browne. air you goin' to sup
port me for sheriff.
''Well, Mr.. Snoozenberry, really !
couldn't say as yet-you know the
Palladium always supports the best
man and don't know either of you"
''Well, I'll admit amt the best man,
the other Teller is near onto fifty
pounds heavier than me and hard
hitter but I'm quicker on the draw.
Now eff l sign for yer paper and pay in
advance viii my qualifications fer the
Office BE- all hunk?"
"Well, you SEE"
''S'pose l make it two copies:"
eyes, but"
''Call it three, but that's the best I
can do"
''Oh, well that'll be all right-I'm
convinced you're the man for the
place."
So the Palladium poured out its
wrath on McDeadeye, the other candi-
date. McDcadeye was an unfit man
for the important Office; McDeadeye
had record back in the States which
would i'll bear the searching calcium
| light of public Investigations; and the
worst of it was McDeadeye couldn' t
get it. But McDeadeye did get it and
! Snoozenberry went where the wood
bine climbeth.
A few days after McDeadeye came
! into the office Of the Weekly Palladium
! and said:
"Mr. Browne, b'lieve you referred
/ to my past record in that Dismal Wall
| NV yourn?"
"I-I-I d-don't quite remember.
Colonel McD-d-deadhead, p-p-p'r'aps
did. it's all right, though, Colonel"
"Oh yes, it's all right, er will be,
that's what l come in fer-to make it
all right. B'lieve you said you'd like
ter see my rccc:d?''
"Y-y-ycs, did say that"
swell, sir, here it is, six parts to it.
and it speaks for itself-just waiting
for the forrnerality of an introduction
when it'll talk right out. Mr.. Browne,
this Is Mr.. Colt, who VIII address you
for a few moments on the vital issues
of the dayr'
Then he began to shoot. When the
first gun was empty he threw it at the
printer who had c-awlcd under the I'M
posing Stone and produced another,
saying: Il have the pleasure NV inter-
| ducin@ to yer favorable notice MIR.
! Smith-&-Wcsson, the wellknOwn
tencr, who will entertain you with a
little vocal mu5ie!!'
! Another slice of bombardmcnt and
he sail: ''Ladies and gentlemen, l
| know you will all be pleased to meet
Mr.. Remington, a gentleman con-
nected with the navy, who viii give his
! lecture. entitled .Deep-sea Soundings
in the Human SYSTEM accompanied
by illustrations"
At the conclusion of this speakers
remarks he picked up the shooting
irons, kicked the printer through the
/ upper sash of window and Went out.
A few days after another man took
| hold of the Palladium. He didn't
| know much about the business but he
changed the name of the paper and
| jerked off the notices. The next
week it came out like this:
HICKS HOLLOW HOTTER.
IT HooTs FOR ALL!
| II any of you ducks want the Rooter don't
FORGET that