The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-12-19
THE ETIQUETTE OF CHRISTMAS GIFTS.

THE ETIQUETTE OF CHRISTMAS GIFTS.
Written for the journal, by Mrs. John. Sherwood.
author OF Social Usages an America.
Ii would seem at first sight that the only eti-
quette of a Christmas gift was in the FIRST place
to send it. and in the second place to write a
note to acknowledge ii. but there is q wide field
Of conjecture, uncertainty and Appropriateness
to be considered in this but too commonly over
done and sometimes neglected subject
We must FIRST question our own motives in the
making of Christmas gifts It is a holy season,
one sent to rs to remind Us that Christ gave
himself for u.s. nothing less, and that we are
especially reminded by Him Of the poor and the
afflicted, to whom the gloom of Northern win
ter is only broken by this festival. We should
thus be warned against ostentation, por give
gifts to be praised for it, and to command the
presentation of other gifts.
There is too much of that in the ordinary in
terchange of society. 1t even influences some
times the making of wills. ''To him that hath
shall be given," and the tendency of money to
join money is one of the great eorrelative forces
Of the universe AT Christmas we should try
to reverse all that, and to ''send to him who hath
mas gifts, that best part of ourselves-our
thought and consideration. "What does my
friend need, or. if he needs nothing, what does
he likeY' These should be the questions which
we should ask ourselves as we pause at Tiffany's,
or at Scribner's. or at Knoedlers or at Shaw's
to buy Christmat gift
And should not a wise charity send us to the
struggling shop-keeper who is making his way
In the world, rather than to these large and
prosperous places at Christmas time2 Should
not be giving twice Christmas gift if we
spend our money where it will benefit the poor
and the strugelingi That trfe, which these
grand, over-patronized shops would never miss,
might go to feed the pale boy of the poor shop
man in side avenue, and our gift would be.
like the quality OF mercy, twice blessed" y
Think of this Christmas shoppers, and patronize
the small dealers. 1t was the policy of Sir
Moses Montefore, whom the Queen once said
was, by his good works. entitled to the name of
"the best Christian in England" to buy his sup
plies, not of the prosperous merchants, but of
the unprosperous ones. Again, in buying our
Christmas gifts we must think of our friends
needs.
Let u.s. aabove all, be generous to young
mothers the wives of struggling men, No peo-
pie in the world need money much as these.
Husbands even do not always know how the
heart so near TO them is aching for money enough
for warm cloak, a decent gown or, still more,
for better school suit for Bobby Men talk of
the extravaganza and thoughtlessness of women,
and, as Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe once said,
there are men who wonder what woman can
do with SIS The truth Is that women. as
class. are far more economical than men, and
that they are unselfish as to their expendi-
lures. Let every man remember his own strug-
Cling mother, who would like the elder duck,
have torn the down from her own gentle breast
in order that he should be warm.
Strengthen the hands of these gentle, uncom-
planning women, who doing the work of the
world silently, we who have gifts 10 make at
Christmas. Do not be afraid to send d check,
instead of q bon bonniere bunch of flowers.
1t may save life, buy needed journey to the
South cure bad cough or pay for child's
schooling.
Send to your rich friend, who collects "old
blue" piece Of the choicest which your purse
buy, but do not send brac- a brac to your old
uncle in the country, who would prefer pair of
gold-rmmed spectaeles, a good lamp TO read by,
or subscription to the most readable paper of
the day.
There was a millionaire ones in New York
he died long ago, and mis- good deeds sell
dom mentioned-who was champion Christ
mas-gift man. He busted himself for months
in finding out what troubled his friends, and
when Christmas came he presented them with
the ouit-claim of mortgage or redeemed
note hearing interest which had been running
long time. He paid the boys college dues. and
sent the aiding daughter to Europe. He spent
no money in gewsaws but he pulled the thorn
out of the aching flesh.
That is the sort of Christmas gift which all
would like to give. To go to each hospital, to
take away the pain and leave a pleasure. to
visit the prisoner and captive. to bring him lib
erty, and light and air. But this is not in the
power of the millionaire. 1t Is only He
who gave Himself for us who can do this
But we can all do something. We can send a
book, at least, to the lonely scholar in the coun
try, dress to his pretty daughter. Give the
citv girl something from the country; to the
ntrv0 ri hiuu fro tha oil
And let all gifts have a value beyond the day.
The money spent iG bonbonnIores and flowers
might better be invested in engravings in
books, in fans even. Christine Nilsson used to
weep over her faded flowers the day after tri-
umph. eff they had been only fans they would
have lasted" she was wont to- say Flowers
beautiful and we all like to receive them, but
the extravaganza in floral offerings is pro-
diCiously overdone, in New York especially. On
Christmas give something which will
last all through the year. The pres
ent taste for the antique, this very
bric-a brac mania, the improved taste in
house furnishing, gives the gift-bestower a very
great chance. pretty can6le-stick, with the
appropriate request Think OF me whenever you
light your candle" would give any body pleasure;
a vase, set of teacupS, some inexpensive orna-
ment for a table. lamp, chair of novel and
easy construction-all these good and not
vainglorious gifts. They will remind the one
who receives of the eiver all the year round and
it is part of the great interest which take ia
ourselves that we like personal gifts the best
OF course. if intimacy warrants, ring is always
a delightful gift There is an etiquette properly
observed in the best society that women should
not receive presents of jewelry from men, but
there is reason why they should not receive
them from each other or from relatives and very
intimate friends who not lovers. There are
many such who will be giving gifts this Christ
mas. We advise that they invest all the floral
money Of year in q handsome ring that will re-
main to praise them.
AS for these delightful guests of the human
race the dear children it seems as if Christmas