Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-20
BRIGHT BITS.

THE defaulting Philadelphia treasurer who
LETT written confession of his gnllt in his
uesk when he ran away evidently did not
write ~ Ior publication, for the dispatches
say he wrote on both. sifes of the paper. 1t
was published, nevertheless. This shows how
inconsistent some newspapers are.--SOmer-
0iLfe U0ufn1k. - ~ igi Ft.ftts O. o.
"waY do they cali d drinking place barr"
'.Beeitilsa. -, saidj RoIbo's unslea George,
water Is scarce and every thing else is
Glow handy asked RolIo. But Uncle
G a.oGE e. nag Eone AFT 80 take soundings-
OF catching cold, little boy, going about in
your bare feet?
Small Boy-I never wear shoes, 'cept in cold
wedder.
Old Lady-Why not? Can't you get them?
Small Boy-Nom- Me ladder Is a shoe
maker,-Nel0 York Sun.
ANExcHANGE gives q contemporary first
class notice. ~ says: "Ihe BlaukJOWn Ban
ner. which has a well edited patent inside.
anu SHOWS enterprise in It's obituary columns
has just entered upon its second year, anu we
understand it will be still further improved
shortly by securing patent plate matter for its
outside pages. "-NOrriStoa0n Herald.
HER LITTLE RUsE-
She had pretty hat
And she had little cough,
And her little cough it is no harm to mention,
When in the church she sat,
Shook the plumes upon her hat
And to its many beauties called attention.
Boston Courier.
EDITOR (measuredly)-In making up the
list showing the steady increase in our circu-
atlon, you had better add hundred to each
of the small towns.
Clerk ,obsequiously) AS you say. sir; but
think the Increase had better be given to the
large cities. We already claim a circulation
OF three comics To each family no m a II
towns.-Hdrper's Bdsdr.
A GRAMMARIAN.-Old Pete's boy had lust
returned from school. In relating an incl
dent to his father, he said:
81 saw the man"
"Whats dat? Come ober dat pint ergin."
81 say that saw the man, and
'HoP on. Yer saw de man, eh?''
Eyes, SIR
''SaW hm?"
That's what | said"
81 do think befor' de Lawd," the old man
said, "de mo- yer sends er nIggar ter school
de wus he gifts Heah dat boys been going
ter school nearly live years, and now he come
an say dat he saw er man. All, Lawd, dar
amt no us'n try'n ter larn 'stronomy ter err
niger. Why doan yer say: Il seed gner-
man, sah?'
because that wouldn't be right"
Merry" speaking to his wife, "han' me
dat pillow line. Blame eff he shall slaughter
his mudder tongue in no SIGH err way. Oh |
ken beat oil de schools in rarnin' yer
suthln. "-Arb dns1D TrdoeLer.
AS the American people grow in wears.
numbers and superficial civilization they
grow FrenchY; their volatility is not me
movement of dashlng, tuM bling river with
strength In swelling current under all the
foam, but 1t Is the hZZ of soda water the
cracking laughter OF fools. True taste is
flung to the dogs; the only thought Is how we
can be diverted without being compelled
to do any thinking or accept instruction Wit
runs TO slang, and humOr is degraded by be-
m a n HrQu
grapher's local dog cart. Sensible people in
social life are tempted to he either hopelesslv
silly in conversation, are silent lest they be
laughed at for ha ying an honest, earnest, seri-
Gus thought about anything on the earth.
above II or under it. After me, the deluge'
Is he cynical comfort of us ALL and we spare
nothing that is humane or altogether lovely.
| il there Is any chance TO glggle over 1t. We
are such a comic, such a TOO funny for any,
thing sort Of smart people that we have laid
our comic hAndson everything of good report
save one: we have not yet justified Carlyle's
grim sarcasm and insisted on having a comic
Blble.-P0ytLtad Ors0oni6p.