The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
GENERAL AND CRIrIcULAR.

No, dear, the "a. O." comprising Mr.
Thurman's initials do not stand for
"Andrew Gackson.n Nobody but an
offensive partisan spells 1t that way now.
Cyclones and billiards are the national
airs Of this Great Republic of Liberty.
"The House will be In orler !" shouted
the Speaker.
"Chestnut ~ remarked the page on the
steps Of the Speakers desk.
L. ]. Waring, a 81 400 clerk In the PEN
sion Office, has resigned. [Onlcial an
nouuccmont. Stand back there stand
back Don't crowd You can't all get In
at once Stand back Hold up little
Stop that showing Stand back stand
back ! J
That the wife OF U. s. Minister Phelps
has been received by Queen Victoria is con-
sidered OF such moment that the news
papers Of this country extend their con-
gratulations copjointly to Mrs. Phelps aud
the American Eagle on the auspicious
event. We stop the press to inquire about
how much per dozen American Eagles are
worth In the English market at present.
See him walking down the aisle
With broad and pleasant smaisle,
That is Speaker John Carlaisle.
See him IN the chair awhaslc,
Nothing seems to stir bis baisle;
And Congress is enough to raisle
man whose name Is John Carlaisle.
No, sir; the real namo of the Ohio Con-
gresham from Cincinnati is not Ben Oleo-
murgarineworth. He is the genuine stun,
and there are few butter men in the House
than be.
"Papa," said the daughter Of n large en-
ploycr Of labor, "are you in favor of the
eight-hour system?n
"Well, daughter" he answered. "under
certain circumstances | am.n
"Oh, I'm so glad, she rapturously ex-
claimed.
"Why, my dear, why are you so inter
csted.m
"Because, papa, George has been only
staying four hours every evening, and he
told me last night If you favore the eight
hour system he needn't 90 home nearly so
early. You dear old papa, I'm 50 glad you
are in favor Of it, and she threw her soft
white arms about his neck and choked of
all explanations.
II Congressman Steele doesn't stop
~ i,,a mn, ~ t,utt la,
are going on, he will some of these days be
called the cushion Of the House. Why
Because he gets set down on so often.
Mr.. Wilson Of West Virginia yesterday
contributed the oratorical surprise of the
House for this season. Some folks have an
idea that West Virginia is only cartload
of dirt dumped IN between the mountain.
and the Ohio River, but they will learn diff.
ferently by and by.
Congressman Matson Of Indiana knocked
down all the pins in the Republican alley
yesterday.
When Representative Henley OF Calitor
| mia wants to say "Darn the thing" ht
doesn't spell darn with anr.
Only very green Congressman ever ex
poets TO make a speech which will be read
| Four or five young clerks of the Geolog
ical Survey were talking shop the othe
evening at dinner and were indignant owe
the ignorance of certain persons who ough
to know better.
at is pafilckly appalling" said one in .
high collar and a twodollar diamond.
81 should say 1t was" assentcd another
"Why, fellows, don't you know, 1t tool
me fully a half-hour to explain to thos,
Senators the difference between the mean
ing Of the words Topographic and geo
detic.'"
81 heard that" said third, "and really
l was never more amused In my life; an,
yet, in n sense, 1t was painful, too"
SIT was bad enough" put in fourtl
geolog.; "but worse still than that was til
case of the Senator who asked what en-
dastral survey was. And right befor
everybody, too"
"Great Euclid" screamed the crowd
"No wonder the Blair bill seeks to appro
pirate seventy million dollars for educa
tional purposes"