West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-02-26
CHEAP AND COSTLY.
The Comparative Value OF the
Newspaper and the Book.

/ X
One would naturally think that know
ing 80 much a. he does the New sparer
would be puffed up with pride 10 tho
; point Of explosion that is, one who is
! not intimately acquainted with the
J Ne"spsper aud toolishly Judges him
I 10y the people whom hc doe, know
might think so. But he would make
/ serious mistake, besides doing a worth,
OBJECT great injustice. Although he
Is hlled with information from hi, dare
hne to the blank space at the bottom, of
MS four pAgcs, he is modest TO de.
! gree. His editorial paso b,islc. with
facts which require years OF study to
write. His news pages are filled with
| information CLEANED from every part of
/ ,he worid aud his selected MISCELLANY
u culIed from the most esteemed con.
! 'fmporaries printed IN the lnnpuaoe
| Aet' IN spite OF 50 much learning. M 4
"hdehinnsuative, retiring aud As nm
! pretending as the valf-buuud enclyco.
| pedia under the dCep laVcr of dust ON
! the bottom shelf OF the book-r,.r
! Even the rattle he makes when h,. is
untolded is deprecatorv. and not ow.
| nIg oue-halt so much to his Sclfos.e
uon as TO the brittle nature of his com
! position, which no f0iI-mndrd critic
viii hold against him for an instant
Beside the Newspaper, on the desk
there lies Book nf poems bound i'm
1lue cloth and glitterine with gilt
ms BOOK IS the very opposite of the
Newspaper. Although he is not wise
nor hucd with facts he IL prceumplivc,
amt makes up fOr his SHORTCOMINGS bv
! large supply OF personal vanity He
| j. pretty, aud what Is worse, hr knows
| u and Is proud of II This, however
J. only To be expected He is a
presentation copy of an edition printed
at the expense of the author He wss
made TO give away. not 10 cell. to be
advertised. not to lee read. and il
would have been strange. indeed. un-
der these circumstances. were he not
rather inflated with the sense of MS
own Importance.
1t so happened one day that these
TWO publications found themselves side
by side and alone The man who sub-
scrlbed for the Newspaper had laid il
down after reading the morning news
and 1t fell beside the Book. who looked
up 10 see what was the occasion of the
disturbance
wen, y observed the Book, some
what testify, whats all this noise
aboutP''
beg your pardon, replied the
newspaper, politely trust have
not disturbed YOU,
" Not to speak OF, . responded the
Book, only think he ought 10 be
careful where he throws his news.
papers"
" He was probably in a hurry" ex.
planned the Newspaper, and didn't
happen to sec you
Don ilattcr yourself" answered
the Book haughtily "Hc never for
gets me. -
Journal
Don't mention it, said the Book.
~ presume YOU never heard of me.
You are 50 Young. You are not To be
blamed for that II is not Your fault
I was written 10y his sweetheart wears
| ago, and have always been kept ON
| his desk ever since He used 90 read
me, but of late years he has contented
himself with leaving me where he could
see me whenever he wanted to- 80
Where is his sweetheart nowp"
asked the Newspaper, with professional
CURIOSITY
''She married an insurance agent,
and has ten children now She writes
70 him every once IN while for help.
and he always sends it 20 her on ac-
count Of old times. OH / tell YOU he
IS very fond Of me. He wouldn't dis
pose Of me for the world ! am very
expensive. ! cost her ten dollars. 30 I
have heard her say. May ask what is
your price?'
Two cents, responded the News.
paper, mOdestly.
50 little a. that How excessively
common But ought 10 make allow.
sncos for you You have no poetry
about YOU no sentiment. no romance
You are al hard, cold facts, scandals
and politics
81 have the news. replied the News-
paper ~ contain everything that
happens ] am = history Of the world
tor one day.
How IL must bore youP" observed
the Book, pityinglv "YOu must feel
ike bulletin board that every one
writes on How stupid. too.
Not 40 all. responded the News
paper. with interest II do = good
work and enjoy it thoroughly tell
the world what Is going on I give
notice ~ the well Of those who arc sick
! tell the living Of those who are dead
tell those who are married who have
separated. and to the old ! tell who
arc horn. tell the people what their
servants. ths oflice-holders. are doing
! record thc movements of govern
lnents ! tell OF war-. OF peaco-mak-
iuge The meetings OF Kings and the
conventions OF workin0mcn J record
impUtally Nothing rs too great nor
Zoo small 70 come into my columns
many tragic story Of death. msuy
murder many a suicide Is first known
go the world through the medium Of
nnA-.H L.In nnrat.nl 81, ...A.-....