The Irish standard., 1886-10-16
THE MODEL HUSBAND.
Woman Who Thinks That Marriage
L. Not a HIonolopne Rnt q ni:,inync

A Woman Who Thinks That Marriage
Is Not a Monologue, But a Dialogue.
A clever French woman, writing to
the husband Of a friend, piquantly
puts the question thus:
''You, sir, have supposed yourself q
mode! husband, and in many respects
you were one. Nevertheless, you have
one point in common with the great
mass OF your brethren, namely, to
form very precise idea Of the duties
which marriage imposes on your wife
and verv vague idea of those which
it imposes on yourself. Marriage is
not a monologue, but q dialogue.
You have studied only one part, and
that not your own part. You are too
sincere, sir, not to admit that your
conception of marriage was simply
this: to add to the customary satisfac7
tions of your life an agreeable ac-
cessory in the person Of a worthy and
graceful woman who would adorn
your house, would perpetuate your
name, and would bring you, i'll short,
without mach trouble, an increase Of
comfort and respectability. You, like
all your sex, would like to find in Paris
OF in the provinces OF abroad,
that marvellous woman who would
make ali the sacrifices and require
none of you. You have not found
her, and no one viii find her, for this
rare bird that you all dream of-the
family woman--implies a bird rarer
yet--the family man. What do / mean
by q family man? Itis not man who
works tapestry sitting at the feet OF his
wife, who arranges the bill Of fare,
writes the invitations, places the lamps
and winds up the clocks. We call q
family man him with whom we read the
same book, see the same exhibition,
admire the same painting or Landscapes;
him who makes for us an intellectual
life besides his own, or rather within
his own; him who associates us, if not
with all his occupations, at least with
all his leisure, and who consequently
cherishes no taste nor pleasure, no in
terest of heart or mind which he is not
willing orable to share with us; the man.
in short, who, when he marrles, frank
jly devotes all he has to the interest Of
the family without any selfish reserve.
Be such q man, and you will attach
your wife to the home by attaching
yourself to it. Your home will be not
ionly in.your house; you viii carry it
with you like a domestic altar. 1t will
be wherever you shall be with her; it
will be in your heart and in yours
wherever you noingle in afectionate
intimacy your thoughts, your impress
isions, your enthusiasms, your beliefs,
your charities.
'Certainly, sir, marriage is an en-
terprise which promises inestirnable
benefits; but there is bill Of expenses.
Have you read it9 I fear net; since,
iif you had, you would have seen there
that a large part of the education Of
THE wife should come from her husband;
that it is for him to model to his wish,
to shape according to preference. to
raise to the dignity OF his sentiments
and his thoughts, this young heart and
|1nind which seek only to please him;
you would have seen there that it is
;both prudent and agreeable to add to
the bonds which unite wife to her
husband those which unite pupil to
|his teacher, his guide, his friend.
, Il hear the objection you make.
This young heart, this youthful mind,
will not consent to your arrangements.
They will oppose to you their futile ed
1'ucation, their love Of dissipation, of
vanity, of coquetry; in short, the incur
!able frivolity of women. lido not be-
::Iieve in the incurable trivolity of wom-
len, neither do you, for you often see,
las I do, their trivolity Transforming
itself under the influence Of affection,
.of pity, Of faith, ct misfortune, into
;austere devotedness and firm self-ab-
negation. Why may it not yield to
;the sweet authority of first love, SO
powerful over the heart Of women that
it reappears through every thing as
she lives? : through outrage, resent
ment, vengeance, remorse.
"No! avow it, you have not made
this attempt. You have hoped that
this child whom you married would
Become at once an accomplished
woman merely through the influence
of the sacrament of marriage. Well,
sir, this miracle was one which you
yourself should have undertaken to
perform. Consider whether you can
not yet accomplish it. Cor. De Moines
'(zo.) Register: