Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-07-08

a Philosophic lecture ON Johnny Fresh.
the Dude and Mothers Boy.
Do not look down upon the fresh
young man, my son, In sublime con-
tempt or IN pity. To be sure the fresh
young man is presidential nuisance;
he wearies you continually; sometimes
you think it was a mistake that he ever
was born. You laugh at his exuberant
unsaltedness; you experience perennial
shame while IN his presence; you curse
him mentally before his face, and overt
ly behind his back; and yet the fresh
young man suffers nothing from your
Lack of appreciation. He is quite un-
aware that his presence is an abomina-
ton and his every act and his Ightess
word more terrible than q pesti1enee.
His is not q sensitive soul and his cuticle
is dense. He does not waste half his
time wondering what others think OF
him or his actions. He goes right on.
When he wants thing. he goes and
takes it. When he feels like saving any
thing, out it comes. While YOU are
looking about you, fearing that your
walk or your conversation may be
criticised, he drives straight on to the
goal OF his desires. He is fresh, but he
gets there Just the saIne-or rather, he
gets there because of his freshness.
Ten or twenty years hence. while you
are peddling along IN the dust of COM
mon place prosperity or the mud OF
obscuritv, you will see him ride by in
the luxurious coach OF affiuence. You
viii lind him. perchanee. fresh as of
old, but his freshness has stood him IN
in good stead. while YOUR salineness
has hardly served to helped you to salt
down enough lucre to pay your funeral
expenses. Yes. my son, freshness is
hateful to all save its possessor but it
is the stuff which helps man amazing
ly in this world of ours. Therefore,
my son, do not contemn the unsalted
youth. and think twice before you apply
to him the ungrateful title of Johnny
Fresh.
There is another freak of nature, my
son, that | would have you view more
leniently. refer to the dude In the
first place the dude is scrupulously clean,
and we have high authority for placing
cleanliness next to godliness, and in
these days, when the latter attribute is
so very rare, we should recognize and
respect whatever approaches and ap-
proximates it. Look at your hands
now, begrimed with weeks accumu-
lations. and your finger nails, each
with its new moon of mourning, and
tell me if in these eccentricities you are
superior to the despised dude.
Your collar is soiled and crumpled;
your trousers are baggv at the knees and
of the earth earthly from the knee down
ward: your coat is surmounted with the
dust of ages; your hat would blush,
were it able, at the sight of brush;
your shoes are gliltless of Day & Mar
tin: your hair is in elf locks; even your
face is not free from mother earth.
Now look at the dude. His flesh is
clean; his linen is spotless and without
wrinkle; his hair is kempt: his raiment
is perfect in fit and freedom from filth.
Look upon yourself, then look upon
him, and ask yourself if there be not
something TO admire and to emulate
even in a dude.
And while [ have your ear, my SON,
I have word to say of the boy whom
your contemptuously refer to as being
tied TO his mother 8 apron string. You
NAV laugh at this boy and deride him,
if you will; but [ would give more for
his chances IN life than for those of the
the bow who thinks his mother is
creature far beneath his consideration,
and whose pr oudest boast is to speak of
her as the s.old woman" The boy who
goes back on his mother, my son, will
continue to go back through life until
he is far behind all respectable folk in
the race of humanity. Did you ever
hear of man who succeeded in life
but had a mother in some period in his
existence? [ think not. And did he
ever feel ashamed that he had mother2
[ am sure he did not. No. my son, do
not laugh at the mothers boy. The
bow who has been tied to his mothers
apron-string is the boy that all right
thinking people are glad to tie to-
Boston Transcript.