The Indianapolis journal., 1886-01-10
THE GERMAN BARBER.
The Philosopher Discourses Profoundly Con-
cerning Boycotting and Monopolies.

The Philosopher Discourses Profoundly Con-
cerning Boycotting and Monopolies.
New York SUM-
'Der New Year pegins not veil, alretty.r the
German barber remarked as he piled the lather
upon the reporters soft and gentle cheek, and
tucked the towels so violently between the vic
TINS collar and jugular as to make repartee ut
terly impossible.
Eighteen hundert sex und eighty pegins NIT
Grade hardships der boor." said he der
vorkingmen haf poycotted der Fifd-avenue
Hodel. und der 'longshoremen, und barpers .und
shoemakers haf got to look arount for some
deefrent blace to board, alretty Dot is also
hart on der brobrietors uf der hodel. Dem
must git along NIT der same drade dem haf peen
gliding in der bast, or else must dem der shop
shut up alretty.
der monkey harper py der negst shair-dots
my nicker minsdrel assistant yich makes chokes
like CLOWN from circus, all der vhile-he
tond understand yot dot word poycott' means,
und on dot ackound he shbeaks ali der dime
apowd IL. Der less he knows apowd Something's
der more he dalks apowd it. Chimany Hooky!
Vot heab of fun We hat NIT him yesterday He
vos dalking away to q gustimer like house
afre.
:. .Uf kebt shtore yonce,, sayt he, I would
like to catch EN- poycotting me-
Der gustimer laughed at him. und dolt him
uf he could der poycotters catch he would peen
all righd--der brincibal differgulty being dot
poycotting Is like drue luff bartieklerly der drue
luI III a DCOr WORKING woman IOf a SG3tSKln
saeque-vot der dickens shall she do apowd it?
Der gustimer sayt he guessed der monkey par
ber ton'd know vot it is der vord means.
"'Ish dot sol? der young man ingwired; 1
proof to you if ton't know it. ! haf seen a
poycot alretty. 1t yos put on my ungle's shtore
by Grand sdreet. OF course, it vas soaked 10
bail of yorter. bat could see der glockvorks and
gunbowder, und matches and all der resd'
"Dalking apowd deterrent dlngs in bardick-
ier,v the boss continued, II tropped in on Mr.
Shiloh, der dynamider. who has laid up apowd
dwenty dousand dollar off NV der shweat uf his
bar in his peer saloon by Dombkinss sqvare.
Dots der same dynamider 1 haf sboken
apowd pefore. vot dolt me he got condrol uf der
working beople dree hundert sexty-four days in
der year. und shtill he not habby. All dot
time each year he dells 'em to gif der politicians
der Grand shake. und den comes only choost Won
more day-bu. dots elegshun day, und he looses
his grip alretty, and der bolitcians catch on like
sexty.
"Ven / tropped in on him. der day pehind
yesterday, Shiloh had only gupple of gusti-
mers, but he vos legduring away like der Bresi-
dents message.
"'Vot shall We haff he sayt Shall We sit
sntil und see cruel gorborations turning der
tears of our vimmen to COINS uf gold und spin
ming our muscles und bones into silks und lacesa
Shall We haf high handed monoboly seizing der
brairies While We are like sardipes tergedder
crowded in der citiesl Shall We haf such dings?
leaf it to you, mine friends. Vot say youa Vot
will you hafP
"'Gif us zwei beer,' sayt NIT von voice der
dwo uf dem gustimers tergedder."