St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-01-17
CROSS-EYED SAM

criticisms on his personal appearance, and
it was good thing for the critics that he
didn't. IF there's no new or unfinished
business" said he, Il will relate my eXpe-
riences in Chicago"
There's one thing I'd like to bring up
before the meeting said RazoO Biks, ris-
ing. Il see the morning paper in its report
of our meeting, last week. printed my pic
ture. 1t was pretty fair picture. but any
bOdy'd think by the yarn cap they put on
my head that | belonged to one of them
dude snOwshoe clubs, and [ don't want an
impression of that kind to get abroad re-
garding me. 1t is my opinion that if the
reporters can't treat us decent, he'd better
he kept out of here, and l move that all
newspaper representatives hereafter be
barred out of the meetings of this society,""
''Do hear a second to that motion?" in
quired the president.
He waited patiently few minutes and
no one spoke.
your motion is not seconded, Mr..
Bilks," he said, land is consequently
lost"
Razoo settled into his seat with very
dark and dissatisfied look on his face.
IF there is nothing more" continued
the president, Il will now begin my talk"
No one seemed inclined to take the floor,
and laying down the aXe-handle, GaZewell
began;
''To man who has been brought up in
this country" said he, Chicago seems
about the same size if not a tribe larger.
Il made my debut in that metropolis two
weeks ago and played remarkably sue
ceSsful engagement-fOr the city.
- played a season of six nights and gave
morning performance and matinee each
afternoon.
Il don't think Chicago has enjoyed such
a boom for several years as it did the week
/ was there.
''The amount of loose change put into
circulation had visible effect on business
circles.
The ten-cent museum caught me before
I had been in the town forty-five minute S.
] got badly stuck on the price. l explored
the entire three stories of the establishment
before the Waterman got on to me and
fired me out.
Il admired the Sutherland sisters, who
had hair nine feet long, that grew IN the
store of a Clark street dealer.
Il stood entranced before the beautiful
Circassian girl born of American parents in
some town in Wisconsin.
Il gazed on the Notwithstanding Zulu
cheftam captured in Rhode Island.
81 spent an hour studying the variegated
frame of the tatooed man, who, twenty-five
years before, had been captured by grangers
in the City OF New York.
81 stood up beside the Kentucky giant
with three feet of cork legs and asked him
to throw me down a chew of tobacco.
''Iheld long conversation with the arm
less man, who wrote his name With his
mouth. and Immediately asked him if he
used it to pull his boots on with and button
the collar OH the back of his shirt.
II passed pleasant quarter of an hour
with the barking seal. and asked the keeper
to give me chunk of the bark as sort Of
a curiosity.
Il gazed with wonder and establishment
on Krao and Krao is the greatest wonder
extant or otherwise. She is girl, and
was captured IN tribe of people down in
Boston known as tree climbers. She has
the face and form of human being, and
her body is covered with hair. She goes so
far as to have hair lip.
"The aforementioned people and things
were the principal features of the show.
and when l came out of the dime museum
l had my pockets full of samples of writing
by the armless man, large
CABINET PHOTOGRAPHS
of the Circassian lady and long haired mer-
maid, several volumes of biography and
history of the museum.
various tWenty-ive-cent packages of
improved corn salve. cough drops, grease
eradicator and catarrh cure. and a large
book, bound in cloth. containing all the
popular songs of the day.
THE street cars in Chicago are i'm
ported from the North Frigid zone. and
make about the same impression on the oc-
cupant that double barrelled, breech-
loading refrigerator would.
THE weather was warm, not exactly
Fourth of July weather but quite pleasant.
but as soon as l entered street car nv
blood CONCEALED in my veins had to get
out and walk every other block to keep nv
gore IN 4 running order.
~ fou d the oysters N that city have their
peculiar O.. They tasted as if they were
brass mounted. / learned from the deal
ers that they were caught in Lake Michi-
gan just off the coast of Chicago. and were
consequently fresh every day, which I'M
doubtedly accounts for the dark blue taste
they leave in your mouth.
Il forgot TO test the quality of the city
water, but can testify to the good quality
OF other Chicago drinking material whether
taken in wholesale quantities or job lots.
Il visited the Battle of Gettysburg and
enjoyed it very much. The fact that the
cannOns l saw were very quiet and had no