The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-02-15
Colgan's Taffy Tolu prevents seasickness.
Colgan's Taffy Tolu makes pink gums, pearly
teeth and fragrant breath.

Mnister-And you feel an awakening within
you, my friend?
Peniient Printer-I do, sir. feel that have
been a great sinner, very great sinner. I'm
afraid there's no salvation for me.
income, come my friend, do not be despon-
dent; you know the lines, being a printer, abont
the yiest sinner returning / think you are in
hopeful condition, very hopeful condition
p. P,-Ahl but I've been such Sabbath break
M.-working on a Sunday paper presume?
p P.-Oh, no. The men whe work on sunday
papers don't break the Sabbath Their work IS
done on Saturday night. ! work on daily paper,
and the Monday morning issue IS all SET up on
Sundays. But Pm determined 10 leave the ot p9Si
ness; I'll break tne oapDdIn ho niolo Wy e0V'ihS
MI rejoice to find you in such a frame of
mind You will be bright and shining light In
the church one of these days. And you have mad
to set type on Sunday, my poor faiendIreports OF
p p (weeping bitterly)-No sir; principally re-
ports of ministers sermons, in solid minlon
THE SECRET ART OF BEAUTY lies not in COS
metics, but is only npure blood and healthy per-
Torrance of the vital functions, which can be OBJ
tanned by using Burdock Blood Bitters.
The finest and most costly diamonds are those
enormously expensive. prominent New York
dealer not long since exhibited one which an agent
of the house selected in Europe for a lady OF the
Astor family, the surface of which did not appear
larger than silver three-cent piece. The price
of it. however, would have purchased large and
well-stocked farm
All cases of weak or lame back, backache, rheu-
matism, &C., will find relief by wearing one of
Carriers Smart Weed and Belladonna Backache
Plasters. Price 25 cents.
John (come home to spend holidays, displays
his ''book larnin" to his very practical 1atner)35
eyes; you see the earth is fiat at the North and
South poles, and these vast regions are so barren
and inhoSpitable-"
Father-''Well why don't they tile em? Nutll-
in like it fur fat land You know that fiat med
der back of the orchid? 1t wasn't good fur moth
corn ont"
Carters Little Liver Pills are free from all crude
and irritating matter Concentrated medicine on
ly very small; very easy to take; no pain; 10
gripping; no purging.
Bill Nye at a swell hotel: 81 found something
Yesterday at the table that bothered me. 1t was
4 new kind of a silver dngus, with two handles to
it, for getting lump of sugar into yonr tea. |
saw right away that it was for that, but when
took the two handles in my hand like nut
cracker and tried to scoop up lump Of sugar
with it felt embarrassed. Several people VINO
were total strangers to me smiled. After dinner
the waiter brought me little pink glass bowl OF
lemonade and clean wipe to dry my mouth with,
[ reckon after drank the lemonade. DO not
pine for lemonade much, anyhow, but TINS was
specially poor 1t was just plain water, with
lemon rind and no sugar in it. One rural rooster
from Pittsburg showed his contempt for the
blamed stuff by washing his hands in 1t: may
be rough and unc0uth in my style, but VIII never
lower myself like that in company