The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-02-10
Truant marriages are to be deplored IN

proposed by bad men. In!nk Ihele - nsl: ~
, ly an exception to this in all your acqualn-
tanceship. If man has good cnarac0er a.W. ne
has something to refer to. ne can say:
''There is list Of the people that live IN my
village or neighborhood, or city; II you "ans
to know about ME ask them." But the nero OF
anescapade is almost always q bigamls1, OF
libertine, or drunkard, or defrauder, or a
first-class scoundrel of some sort. re
has no reputation to lose. ne mas oeen
in prison before, and he rather likes ooarolng
at public expense He may dress In tne
height of fashion and be cologned and poma--
TUNED and padded and diamond rlpged ana
flamboyant cravated until he bewitcheS the
eve and intoxicatas the olfactorles, but ne IS
double distilled extract of ylliany, @ moral
dirt and blasphemv Beware OF him! "Stolen
waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret IS
pleasant, but he knoweth not that the oead
are there" think that the modern novel
has much to do with many escapades. "ould
woman sit up half the night reading novel
in which the hero and the heroine became ac-
qnainted in the ordinary way and con-
binary style until after a while,
with the consent Of parents day was ap-
pointed, and in the midst of a group Of kin
dred the vows were taken? No, no. 1t must
be flight and pursuit and narrow escape ana
drawn dagger, and ending in sunshine ana
parental forgiveness and bliss unalloyed ana
gorgeous. The idea of the escapade IS
planted in woman's mind by the cheap novel.
Ten cents worth Of unadulterated .perdltlon.
And again, fugitive marriage and escapade
are to be deplored because they almost al
wavs imply woman's descent from
one grade of society to another II
the man be the equal, or if he he the superior
there is no tcmDtation to escapade. In nearly
ali the cases it is the descent Of woman from
one grade of society to another. Observe thls
inexorabie law. If q man marry woman
beneath him in society he may lift her to any
eminence of prosperity to which ne may
climb. but if a woman marries man beneath
her in society she always goes down to that
level-always. There are no e1ceptlous. IL
is q law inexorable Now, there are not many
women who can afford to debase themselves,
vet there is not q State of this American
Union which does not furnish us an instance
where some woman brought up IN af1uence
and amid all luxuries unites her fortune Wltn
some man who can make three dollars oay
if he keeps busy Now, there are great
many men who are as happy as prince on
three dollars day, bnt man UNDERTAKES
big contract when with an income OF three
dollars day he attempts to support woman
who is brought up in home that cost ~
900 Der annum. That conjunction Of practl-
cality and extravaganza, that marriage OF OK
and eagle, almost always has this history:
The first year they are happy because its odd,
it is romantic, and it has the applause
of people who love .outlawry.
The second year they settle down into per-
feet dislike for each other. The third year
they apply for divorce. or more probably the
man becomes drunkard or the woman
blackened waif of the street. "Stolen waters
are sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleas
ant, but he knoweth not that the dead are
there"
Fraudulent espousals and sneaking ex-
change of single life for married life are to De
deplored because they are always in defiance
of parental wisdom and forethought. Most
parents. are wrapped up in the welfare of the
child. If they oppose vehemently marital
union, in nearly ell the cases it
is because they see for their
DAUGHTER in that direction only
wretchedness. And yet there are those
who scott and deride any such protest on the
part of parents. They do not realize that
parents had keener appreciation OF tne com
plete domestic demolition that comes from al
coholism in young man; they do not realize
that parents have keener appreciation OF
what complete idiot woman is who mar
ries man who has not brains or industry to
support her. There is no bureau of statistics
that can tell how many women there are sup
porting themselves aud their hus-
bands. If husband became
an invalid, it is beautiful to see the wife uncom-
plainingly with needle, or pen. or yard-stick,
or washing machine support the home. But
these great lazy masculine louts, who stand
around in community with their hands IN
their pockets, letting the wife with her weak
arm fight the battle of bread. need to be re-
gurgitated from society. When parents see
these things, theSare right in putting down
the brakes of such long train of coming dis,
aster. They have too often seen the gold
ring that was put upon the brides finger at
the altar turned into the iron link OF an iron
chain of domestic servitude. What farce it
is for q man to take ring which he
stole from his grandmother's cupboard, and
at the altar put it on the finger of the bride,
and he not a cent in the world, saying: with
this ring thee we'd and with all my worldly
goods thee endow!" It is astonishing that
there are so many women who will marry
men without knowing anything about them.
No merchant or merchantess would sell a hum
person whose truStworthlness was not estab-
iished No man OF woman would buy
a house and lot on which there
were mortgages and leases and judg-
ments uncanceled. Yet there are every hour
Of the day ard every hour of the night
women entrusting their happiness in hasty
marriages to men who are encumbered with
liens and judgments and first mortgage and
second mortgage and third mortgage of
evil habit. In nearly all the cases of escapade
it is the leaping over the barrier lifted by
parents in their good common sense and fore
thought. ."Stolen waters are sweet, and
bread eaten in secret is pleasant. but he
knoweth not that the dead are there" 1 do
not wonder so many parents under Such
circumstances in conjugating the verb IN
question pose from the subjunctive mood to
&l,o ;,,J; mad from tha Indicative
mood to the imperative.
Fugitive marriage is also to be deplored be-
cause it is generally in deception, and that is
vice corroding and damning. You must
deceive your kindred, you must deceive so
ciety, you must deceive everyone but God,
and Him you cannot deceive. Marriage is
too important a crisis in life to be decided by
sleight-of-hand, or a sort Of jugglery
which says: 'Presto, change! Now you
cunlstances change. Better wait for years.
Time will remove obstacles. The candidate
for marital preference may get into ocoupa-
tiop, or trade or profession where he can
achieve livelihood, or his habits may change,
or inexorable parents may be promoted to ce-
lestial citizenship! Wait until the right time
comes. Have an hour appointed stand at the
end of Ike best room in the house, minister
of religion before you challenge the world if
they know any reason why the twain should
not be married, that they state now that OBJ
lection or forever hold their peace, and then
starting out with the good wishes of neigh
bors and under the halo of the divine sane
ton. When you can go out Of harbor at
monday, all flags flying, why try to run
blockade at midnight. In view Of all this I
charge you, if any of you are engaged in
clandcstine correspondence, to quit it. you
are accustomed to clandestine meetings at
ferry, or on street. or at the corner Of the