Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-11-24
ALPENA WEEKLY ARGUS.
MISCELLANE OUS.
HY. a. Walk vs. wooINo.
AFrER LoNGFELLoy.

On a tool bench in h s shoe shop
Sat the ancient fOotgcar maker,
In the land of West - Louis
Where dwelt the tribe o lbig Ears
building CATERS, boots aud slippers
out of paste board ana spl leather
At his side in made up beauty
Sat tho dudine, Minnie Inthorn'
SAT his daughter, Soda W"ttr
Mending pants seats with round patchesi
or bis trade the old mau thoughts WERE
Ane tho maldcns OF her lover
He was thinking, ~ he sat there
or the days when double nflces
lie had charged all thro' those war times
For his spongy, half-pcggcd brogans'
"Stood IN" with the Quartornastcrs;
Got some hunky army contracts;
Thinking of the furlOugh"d soldiers
Who came home aud ga '*ci MS DOOR WorA
Said that'hc was on the Sw'ndle'
All, no more SO green Govern
Ment will Ger be found as I wesl
uncle Sam now bJId, h Sutlcrs,
And they do not dare 10 dvy!D
She was thinking OF a mower
From the land OF North chicago, ~
Wherein dwolt the tribe OF Splay-Fcet
Young and slim and very tony,
Who, one morning n tho spring time,
Came to buy some bunion plasters
And sat down in her pa s store-front;
fingered there and smoked u segar,
Looking back as he departed,
She had heard her father mock him.
Mock his: Jaw, u pair OF 'tooth-plcks
Yaw calm make me faw thix dolyers,
Ifyaw'll have EN- done by Chcwsday.
Would he come aga n for corn.salVo
10 the counters OF neT
As she paused 10 thread needle,
And her eyes grew very dreamy,
on the pave she heard footstep,
Heard cane go gently tapping;
And with London limp affected,
With Norfolk jacket dressed in,
Suddenly feminist the entrance.
Hy; A; Watkins stood before them: ,,,
Straight the gray-haired half.sole artist
Looked up gravely from his labor,
Laid aside the calfskn upper,
Badc him shut the door,! emphatic
Co. h. 60 nj lVNn
yes your boX.tocS they are nnished.
In tho lap of Soda Water
Hy. A. watkins laid the package
or the caramels he'd brought her;
And the maiden looked up Mt him.
Looked up from her reinforcing
or the bosom-la lacking trousers,
And remarked, with gentle accent:
you're no SLOUGH. oh, lily. A. Watkins"
Very spacious was the floor there,
With lounge to try the fits on
'Galnst the side of that emporium;
But so long and broad his pedals,
fly. A. Watkins knocked the couch DER;
Also kicked out half a window
In tho roar part OF the Hathorn
Place OF business, as he walked back.
Then uprose fair Soda Water,
Alias Miss Minnie Hathorn,
Put away the wooden brooches,
Fetched out pie and sat before them.
Water brought them from the hydrant,
Warmed up hash left DER from dinner,
Gave them patent paper napkins,
Listened whilo young Hy was Ginning,
Listened as her fathers Jaw waggod,
Listened with her clcphantino
Ears waving with excitement,
But not once her grub-trap opened,
Not single word she uttered
Yes, there In n trance she listened
To the brags or lily. A. watkins,
Who wns taking his vacation,
as he talked OF how ut Lehmann's
He had charge OF "lacc n ribbon,
At n sal. of fo'tcen weekly,
And am sho to be promoted"
And how me n the book.kecpah
Go out every eve n mashin,"
And that "Sheecawg is the dandy
Burg TO hang up during life in"
AFTER many years of cross fires,
And noospapcr foot and ear taunts,
Let's have peace between Sent Looy
And its rival town, Sheccawgcy."
Thus continued fly. A. Watkins,
And then added, speaking slowly:
THAT this truce may last forcvah,
And our ears and feet may smullah
Seem to be to ono anothah,
Give me as my bride this chromo'
Minnie Hathorn, Soda Watah,
Sunfower Of Missoory women"
And tho ancient cowhide stitchcr
Took some ilne-cut ere consentng.
Watched his daughter thcn In silence,
Whose auricularS were Tapping,
GnZed at lily. A. Watkins stogas,
Number 30s 10y the tape line,
And made answer very br ely:
"Yaas, ef Min Is on the Marcy;
Shoot yer mouth on Sodey Water"
And the fan cared Minnie Hathorn
Seemed lust scrumptious as she started
over To club footed Watkins,
sat down on n hoof majestic,
Winkcd and gigglc1 and then tongucd IL:
"Im yer oyst"r-Jct nc lccnsc!!"
THIS was lily. A. Watkins wooing!
stopped the strife, and peace cemented
"TwiXt the Mound and Garden cities,
In the Lake and River regions.
-''Jef JoslUn," in Graphic News.