The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-10-02

stocks, or lying at law for a fee, or the
thousand and one other things that men
do who float on the surface of our So
called first society. The man who
wrote the article is filling the dead shoes
of one whose disgraceful life was for
years scandal to the press of the Unit
ed States ;and which was but lily atoned
| for by very late death-bed repentance.
Mrs. Gould starts fair with the promise
of long, happy, and useful life be-
fore her. In the possession of bound
less wealth, she may yet lead her hus-
band and her father-in-law to such wise
use of it, that her name shall be remem-
bered with blessing by generations yet
unborn. "All the worlds stage, and
all the men and women merely play
ers."
A refreshing thing is the modern
Sunday paper, of which the advertise
ments are by far the greatest attraction.
Glancing over one, saw the announce
ment that colored lady would take in
washing, and further down that COL
ored gentleman would accept the posi-
tion of coachman in family. strictly
first class, references exchanged. Glanc-
ing over the matrimonial column, saw
the modest advertisement of a gentle
man who is looking for a partner for
life. He is, as | said, a modest man The
describes himself rs follows: Tall hand
some and OF exceedingly engaging man
ners; what could any woman wish for
more-but that was not ALL he an
nounces that he has ample fortune, and
wishes to meet lady of like qualifica-
tions. Now, if his fortune was ample.
one would think that he had enough for
two, but he hadn't. This puts me in
mind Of case reported in a former let
ter. A cunning rascal put an advertise
ment in the paper for wife. and in due
time received an answer from lady in
Bridgeport, who had all the required
qualifications, including the cash. The
advertiser was perjured rascal and
swindler, but he sent for the lady's
photo; it came in due time, and was the
likeness of a rot uncomely woman,
about thirty-five. 1t was a trife older
than the swindler expected, but he
wrote to her to come'o and started up
to the Grand Central Depot to meet her.
She was to be distinguished by white
feather in her hat and a red rose on her
breast. The passengers were all out of
the New Haven tram, and a solitary old
woman was left alone on the platform,
with Il big yaliSe in one hand and band
box and carpet sack in the other; but
she had white feather in her hat and
a red rose in her ample breast, sand she
would have tipped the scale easily at $50
pounds. The swindler advanced timid-
ly, and said is this Mrs. Townsend.
That's me, said the lady, and they hur-
ried across the street to a hotel. When
they were seated in the parlor, the
swindler took out the photo, and looked
at the picture and then at the original.
Oh, exclaimed the lady, you are looking
at my picture; forgot to mention in
my letter that it was taken thirty years
ago. After some considerable necotia-
tions, matters were arranged for the
wedding, and the widow advanced ST.
200 for the outfit, the money to be paid
back to her as soon as the young hus-
band could hear from his bankers. He
started out, but did not come back.
leaving the foolish old widow minus
$1,000. She was nearly crazy at the
loss of her money and a handsome
young husband, who was almost forty
years her junior. She wandered about
disconsolate for weeks, and at last she
saw him in the street and seized him;
he struggled to get away, but she stuck
to him like porous plaster, and it is
not an easy matter for fellow who tips
the scale at l30, to make much of a run
with $50 pounds of good solid beef an
chored to him. At last a policeman
arrested the pair, and when the old
lady explained that he had promised to
marry her, and that she bad given him
81, ,2OO-he offered to marry her then
and there; but she would not have him
at any price, As he was willing to full
fill the contract the Court was com
PEELED to discharge him, and the foolish
old widow Went back to Bridgeport a
wiser, if not a richer woman, and it is
quite safe to say, she will answer no
more matrimonial advertisements.
In the course our Trades Unions are
taking there is remarkably strange
phase. One of the most thorough or
CARNATIONS in the land is that of the
Plumbers. \ friend of mine had occasion
last week to use in his house a couple of
joints of iron pipe; he went to store
where such goods are sold and stated
his wants. The clerk, without rising
from his place, said, "What is your
nameP' The gentleman, astonished at
the qsestion, said, whats that you?"
"Well, sir" replied the clerk, "if you
want any pipe must know your name"
The gentleman gave it, "Now, slr,where
doyou live9' He gave his residence.
"What is your business?' Broker"
"Well, sir, YOU can't getany pipe here"
"Why not?" "Because we only sell to
regular Union plumbers" No argument
nor persuasion could move him, nor
could he find place that would supply
him except through Union plumber;
the reason given being that if he did sell
TO an outside party the plumbers, one
and all would boycott him. We have
certainly come to a pretty pass in the
/ United States when a merchant with a
store full of rools which he desires IN