The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-07-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

-Faithfulness is higher attainment
than mere success; and, unlike success,
it is within the reach of every man.
Sunday School Times.
-Teacher-"C any boy tell me at
what time the sun rises nowP" Small
boy (shrill and prompt)-.Just the
minute father calls, down at our house. y
-Te1as Sytimgs.
Mrs. Murphy say, Pat, what
would yez do if ther ould house would
tumble on yez an crush yez to deathp
Pat (complacently)-Faix. I'd fly for
me loife!
Let whatsoever you say be clean.
The organic law of decency in human
intercourse is clean speech. One whose
mouth is foul is the tainted wether that
infects the flock.
Plain Enough. Little Girl-Mam-
ma, why doesn't the sea run over if all
the water flows into it? Nonsense,
child! Don't you know its full Of
sponges?"- Burlington Free Press.
Experience begets wisdom. 1t is
,nly once in lifetime that the cOrpu-
lent man hires fourth-foor apartment
in a house where there is no elevator,
simply because he can get it cheap
albany journal.
The origin of hamaneggs is lost in
the mists of cloudy antiquity.-Ne Neso
| York Journal. 1t can be traced, how
| ever. from the time of Hennery the
| First down to Lord dBacon.-BostofsC Com
mercial.
| Proprietor to Clerks-I have pro-
cured complete stock of medicines,
gentlemen, and should any of you be
taken suddenly i'll while the baseball
season continues at the polo grounds,
you will not need to go home. as can
prescribe for you myself right here on
| the premises.-Puc6:
DEAR, DEAR" said Mrs. McGudley,
looking over the top of her glasses,
"here's piece in this paper all about
the horrible things done by the Black
| feet Indians. / should think the Gov
ernment could send them soap and
make them wash their feet any how. :"
Chicago Ledger.
1--we perfect antipathy for the
mountains" said Mrs. Gush to Mrs.
Parvenu as they sat talking together on
the summer hotel piazza. '.Have youP"
said Mrs. Parvenu. .'Well, I've an. Al
pine stick, and the man said it was just
the thing, but I'm sorry now l didn't
buy an antipathy like yoursr'
He was the Fool: II don't under
stand why women dress that way" said
a man, pointing at lady who passed
along the street. 81 don't either" re-
Piled bystander. THAT woman, :"
continued the first speaker, 'sis dressed
ridiculously. Her husband must be a
fool.' 81 know he is, said the by
stander. ..Do you know himp" '.Oh,
yes. I'm the man myself. IN. Y.
Ledger.
Mother" said little Ned, one
morning. after having fallen out of bed.
Il think l know why fell out of bed
last night. 1t was because slept too
near where 1 got in.' Musing little
while, as if in doubt whether he had
given the right explanation, he added:
mo, that wasn't the reason; it was be-
cause slept too near where fell out y
N. Y Independent.
Say, conductor, aren't we run.
ming about twice as fast as usualP''
Yes" Il guess we're going dowr
hillP" Mo- .'Wil d changed and
helping us along, perhapsP" II guess
, not The fact is, we've sighted mar
, walking about mile ahead on tn,
track, and I'm going to catch him ans
make him get on and pay his fare, If
, run the wheels of. Tks rules forbit
, any man trying to beat ths compan,
this way,"--M J. HerssG