The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-09
IKE'S MISHAP.
A Controversy in Which the Old Man
 Was Defeated.

Has your rheumatism got any better, Uncle lke2' young Mulkittie asked as he seated himself on box near the old mans fire.
 "Kain say dat it am much better, honey. Sometimes when bergins ter think dat l'se git,in' CT long better de 'fernal 'lease lays holt O me an makes me holler fur mussy. What yer got dar 2"
 "Nothin' but little piece of candy"
 "Gimme CT holt O it. Humpw he granted when he had taken the candy into his mouth, "dar ain't ernuff O it ter sweeten CT pusson's hollcr toof Got no mo erbout yer clore 2"
 "No, sir"
 "Wall, den, whut makes yer come roun' heah1 Wanter tanterlixe CT pusson jes' case yer got it yer power 2"
 "l didn't know had It until l hap pened to put my hand in my pocket"
 "Wall, yer oughter be mo- keerful. Yer doan know whut harm yer mout do er stirrin' up CT ole pusson's app critic da. way. It mout not be runnin' much O CT risk ter stir up CT chile's 'zire ter eat, but de Lawd 'pintedly says h de secon' chapter O Eli an de teni vus, not ter tamper wid CT ole nigger's appertite. Wall, how yer been 'Joyin' yerse't sense seed yer de las timer"
 "Very we'll"
 "Co'se yer has, case yer ain' nuthin' ter de 'cep' ter go roun' an joy yerseT Bet yer's cat many CT good thing lately. Bet while yer wur CT stuffin' yersef like CT 'Gyptian yer neber thought O dc ole patriarch. Bet while yer wuz CT eatin' all dem good things yer wouldn't CT kn cwd me ef yer nader met me in de middle O de county road. Whut yer hab fur dim ner on de New Yeah day2"
 "We eat dinner away from home an we had ever so many things. We had turkey"
 "Go way, now"
 "Yes, an we had baked shoat, an'-"
 "Oh. git out git out, bey, git out"
 "An'," the boy continued, Eve had cake an jelly an'-"
 "Oh, hush, now. Doan name CT nuder thing ease I'se all in CT quiver now. Yer doan know how dang'us i, is ter cite CT ole pusson dis way. do blebe dat ef doan git som cake mighty quick 1 gwine ter take ft Had one O dem fits wunct an it come mighty nigh killin' me. Say, aim yer got no,hin' in de house dat1l quiet mel Jes' look how I'se jerkin'."
 :" I believe there's some turkey in the dining-room."
 "WaIl, fur de Lawd's sake go an fetch me some"
 "I can't cut it."
 "Yer needn't cut it. Fetch it all"
 Mamma might whip ms.''
 "Oh, whut is CT whippin' pared wid CT ole man habin' CT fit. Ise--"
 The old man fell over on the bed and began to jerk. The boy, much alarm ed, ran to the aiming room and soon re- turned with piece of turkey. The old negro recovered very rapidly, and he ate the remedy with great relish.
 "Got it jes' in tiEne," sad he, fur wus mighty nigh gone Look heah, does yer know da. yer's larnin mo- den any white chile in dis heah cumunity3 Yer is far CT fsck. No uder boy am got dc same vantergies dat yessef has. Ain't got no ole man ter take pains wid him. Sorry dat yer didn bring mo O dat medi- cine fowl fur feels CT nuder tack CT comin' on me. wush-"
 He fell over again. He misc aIcuiated the distance and his head struck the wall with such force that d,sh-pan setti ng on q small shelf above the bed fell down. The frame work of a turkey, from which about half of the meat had been taken, rolled out. The old man seized the tnr- key, put it in the pan, replaced the pan on the shelf and said
 Dat beat anything eber seed. How dat fowl come in heah l. mo- den can teii. Dozn yer reckon dc good Lawd ,nf 1t heah2"
 No, 1 don't" the boy replied. q think that you brought 1t here"
 @W'y yer young inferdsL Yer sughtes be q shamed Q, yerxef. Whut wou1d