Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-05-15
A SAD JOKE.

There are many jokes which cause more
sorrow than joy. and some of them are fol-
lowed by shame, regret and lifelong re-
morse The San Antonio Express gives an
instance OF practical joke played upon a
pupil in the High School, Her friends So
hclted her TO be candidate for their votes
as Queen of the May" She Welded TO
their solicitations. Her mates promised to
vote for her, even writing her name on
slips OF paper and showing them 10 her,
until the ambitious child's hopes were
raised to the highest pitch When the
hour Tor counting the votes arrived it
showed only one vote for her. The poor
child laid her head on her desk and cried
bitterly. She went home and was taken
i'll. The illness soon developed into brain
fever. Through all her sickness her heated
brain constantly turned on the cruel Joke.
In lew days She died We ask the Young
readers OF this paper To remember the
above, and never have anything to do with
loKe that may cause pain.-[ Editor Our
Dumb Animals.
THE NEWSPAPER PLANT.
Many of the young readers OF the REcoRp-
UNION have seen in Southern California.
Arizona and perhaps elsewhere. the curl
ous-looking plant or tree called the "Ync-
ca, but perhaps some of the Young people
gathered and sold. The st. Nicholas for
May has the following upon the subject
1t seems that in certain far-away terrific
rles called New Mexico and Arizona, there
are great tracts of desolate lands, where the
very hills seem destitute of life and beauty
and where the earth is shriveled from cen
turtles of terrible heat And in these desert
tracts grow curious, misshapen, grotssuue
and twisted plant that seems more like Il
goblin tree than real one.
vi all the trees in the world you would
think this to be the most outcast and worth
less--so meager living does it obtain from
the waste OF sand and gravel in which it
grows And yet this goblin tree is now be-
ing sought after and utilized in one of the
worlds greatest industries-an industry
that affects the daily needs of civilization
Those wise folks, the botanists, call our
goblin tree by its odd Indian name of the
Yucca" palm
This plant of the desert for long time
was considered valueless. But not long
ago 1t was discovered that the fiber of the
yucca could be made into an excellent
paper. And now one of the great English
dailies, the London Telegraph, is printed
upon paper made from this goblin tree
Indeed, the Telegraph has purchased large
plantation in Arizona, merely for the plir-
pose OF cultivating this tree, and manufact-
uring paper FROM it. So you see, the Yucca
Is now newspaper plant.
ARE TWICE TWO FOUR
Frank Cation somewhere tells an anus
ing story, since profusely copied by all the
anthropologists OF how, during his South
African wanderings, he once wanted to buy
couple of sheep from an unsophsticated
Danara. Current coin in that part of the
world IS usually represented, it seems, by
cakes OF tobacco, and two cakes were the
recognized market price of a sheep in Dam
araland at the time of Mr. Cations mem
orable visit. So the unSuspectng pur-
chaser chose a couple of wethers from the
flock, and naturally enough laid down four
pieces OF tobacco, to pay for them, before
the observant face of the astonished ven
der; The Damara eyed the protfered price
with suspicious curiosity. What could be
the meaning of this singular precipitaucy?
He carefully took up two pieces and placed
them IN front of one of the sheep then he
| took up the other two pieces with much
wonder. and placed them in front of the
other. Goodness gracious, there must be
magic in it The sum came out even.
The Damara, for his part, didn't like the
| look OF it. This thing was evidently I'M
| canny. How could the supernaturally
clever white man tell beforehand that two
ana TWO made four? lie felt about it, no
| doubt, as We ourselves should feel if great
| mathematician were suddenly to calculate
| for us, a priori, what we were going to have
to-day for dinner, and how much exactly
We would owe the butcher. After gazing
at the pat and delusive symmetry OF the
two sheep and the four cakes of tobacco for
| brief breathing space, the puzzled savage
overpowered but not convinced, pushed
| away the cakes with a gesture of alarm,
| took back his sheep to the bosom of his
flock, and began the whole transaction over
again, dc capo. He wasn't going to be
cheated out of his two sound wethers by a
theoretical white man " no managed bar
gains for live sheep on such strictly abb
stract mathematical principles.-[The Corn
hill MAGAZINE