The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-04-17
A CRUCIAL TEST.
San Francisco Post. !


 Woman is by nature so cratic and in consistent Il creature that 1t doesn't do to bet on even her most marked charac- teriStics For illustrations The other day old MT. Pungleup, of Mob Hill, was commenting on the railroad velocity with which young ladies .jabber to each other when they meet, without either in the least understanding or replying to what the other says
 It's just mean falsthood gotten up by you good-for-nothing men! said the youngest Pungleup girl, indignantly
 All right said her father, beng- nantly; we'll try an experiment. see your friend Miss Giuckcrson, com ing up the street Now, I'll wager that new walking suit you want so much that you can say Roast turkey and eranberry-sauce in response to the half-dozen remarks she makes without her noticing the fact
 never heard anything SO perfectly absurd, replied Miss P-; however, 1 might as well have that suit-its just too lovely for anything-so I'll just do 1t to teach you lesson.
 Mind, now said her father, as the front door-bell rang, fair play You mustn change your expression in the least, and you must repeat the sentence in your usual voice and manner-that Is to say, in a single ~breath-all run to- gether as it were"
 Just then Miss Gluckerson was shown into the parlor and through the library door old Mir. P-- heard Miss c. exclaim, without even the smallest comma in the whole remark
 70. you lazy thing been here per feet age don't look at this hat perfect fright going to have flowers set back and bow changed why weren't you at the matinee Harry was there"
 Roast turkey and cranberry sauce" |" rapidly inserted Miss P--, accompany ing the words with that peculiar prelim- mary and concluding gurgle with which all women, for some occult reason, inva- riably adorn their conversation when desirous of being agreeable
 Going to Mrs. Badgers party?' con tinued Miss Gluckerson, with the serene rattle of brook over the pebbles Molly Smith is going they tell me she paints pas promised me a phmton in the spring saw that hateful Mrs Gruberv on the street buff over-skirt and green ruch- ing just fancy
 Roast turkey and cranbcrrv--
 70, George Skidmorc's mothers dead Ouchl got flea in my sleeve little beast just eating me up alive bury her next Sunday did you get that edging at Gimp's?"
 Roast turkey and cran--
 The girls at Clark's are going to graduate next Thursday Jennie Giggles is going to be square cut with inside ilu- sion and white kid boots can't you come around for dinner tomorrow and stay all
 Roast turkey and--'
 Night and show Milly your new basque? That man with light oyer coat stared at me yesterday Jim O Ncill Is going east this candy is frghtfully stale
 Roast turkey
 Ma thinks Mrs Brown aint proper those ferns are just too lovely look at these cuffs clean this morning are my crimps coming out yours aint Lille Skippen says you met Charlie Boggs the other night and said something nice about me tell me quick
 Roast turk
 Why how perfectly absurd you are. Linda, interrupted the visitor, angrily Gou don listen to d word say; Twas asking about Charlie Boggs, not roast turkey. George Shelley thinks you're awful nice Now tell me what he did say. Good gracious! what are you hug ging me for?
 And, Tilda, thoughtfully remarked Miss Pungleup after the matter had been explained and her father admitted that he had lost by scratch, l believe in my heart that if you hadn't thought about Charlie just then shouldn't have had any new suit this winter
 All of which goes to show that there is at least one subject upon which one may hope to secure the temporary atten- tion of the inscrutable female mind