Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-12-25
IIUMOR.

A FASHION journal says "bows on
chairs have had their day" Yes, but
they still continue to make night of
t.-Batrlingto1o Free Press.
YOUNG Will kins intends to form q
mutual defen Sc and protective associa-
ton composed of one member, as his
fathers hands are too often on the
strike.
A coLoRED woman was heard this
morning informing q neighbor that last
nights storm frie htened her so that she
SHOOK like an ashpan. Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
"YoU'vE eaten next to nothing"
lisped Smithers, who was dining with
his girl. "Oh, 1 always do that when
| sit by you," responded the young lady
pleasantly.
"LooK ERE, Sal" yelled Texas
woman to the oldest girl, don't bend
over that well so fur. You'll fall in
some day, and then we'll have to drink
from the crick."
The private soldiers fought the bat
ties of the war, and they can afford to
let the Generals have little of the
monthly magazine glmy for the next
fifty years.-Ne,C Orleans PicdyaJiie.
HUSBAND (handing his wife some
There, dear, is $50, and it
has bothered me some to get it for
you. think I deserve little praise"
Wife-"Praise? You deserve an en-
core, my dear"
YOUNG Harley Quinn was complain
ing of his boarding house fare. "Then
you don't fancy hash?" asked his
friend Tom. 1T isn't the hash OBJ
iect to-" the other returned, mourn
fully, cts the rehash.
FOND mother Ito bachelor uncle)-
"Why, John, don't let the baby play
with that gold toothpick. He'll swal-
low it." Bachelor uncle-"Oh, that
won't do any harm. 1 have string
tied to it so, so L can't lose it.
No MAN can realize what low-lived,
miserable, disgusting game baseball is
until he has been volunteer umpire,
and has had his head split open for de-
Gliding right, when the hoodlum side of
the game happened to be wrong.-Ne,U
Orleans Picayatne.
THE evident agitation of the young
man in the pict,ne is not caused by
his having experienced II change of
heart; but by his having accidentally
rung the new chestnut gong" on his
vest just as the minister made strong
point in his sermon. -Fuch.
YOUNG wife-"Dearest, isn't this
milk nice and rich?" Young husband
Yes, much better than We have
had. How did you manager" Young
wife, (enthusiasbically)-"I engaged a
new milkman who guarantees his
milk, and | have bought enough to
last week"
A MERCHANT called at the Office of q
Missouri weekly paper, with the copy
of an advertisement, and asked the
clerk to insert it. Sorry, but can't
do it; the papers full" where's the
proprietor? / think he would run it
in" impossible, sir; he's full, too"
st. Louis JFhlp.
| Mrs. BULLION to the principal of
the school attended by her daughter
Dear Madam: My daughter Clarice
informs me that last year she was
obliged to study vulgar fractions.
Please do not let this happen again.
| If the dear child must study fractions
let them be as refined as possible. y
The Rambler.
CAPTAIN PEcKEsEC Ito one of his
sergeants)-"Y were out drinking,
yesterday, with couple of privates. {"
Sergeant-"C Captain, it was to prevent
them getting drunk" Captain-"What
do you mean?" Sergeant-"T They had
four l.ters of wine between them. That
was too much for two men. l restored
the balance. lie Rappel.
AN old gentleman caller at the house
of little Hatties father was possessed
of one of those notifying sort of noses
on the end of which sometimes is
crystalline drop dangling and culver
ing. Hattie watched this obtrusive
drop with absorbing interest. She saw
it removed with the gentleman's hand
kerch eff two or three times, but when
it appeared for the fourth time the
| gentleman did not seem to notice it.
After few moments of anxiety Hattie
gave utterance to this pleasing bit of
information: Say, man, it's come
again. "-DetrOit Free Press.