The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1886-01-29
Marrying For Money.

II Is said that witness who was be.
ing examined in a divorce case ut Lau.
rens, Ca, was recently asked the maid.
en- name of his wife, and was unable to
give it. Cases of this kind are great
deal more frequent than one would bc
led to suppose, especially where a man
marrics an old maid for her money.
He does not love the woman, and there
fore does not stay in the house long
enough to learn her name. Down town
he speaks of her as the old woman, and
at home addresses her as Mrs. Jones,
White, or whatever her name may
chance to be. As long as there is
plenty of money in the till, and he
does not have to work for her support,
he is happy, and don't give continent
al whether she IL or not. OF course
this kind Of fellow sometimes catches
= Tartar in the shape Of II woman u lit
tie larger and huskicr than he is; u wo-
man who, until married, has been
obliged to fight her own battles. and
when her husband tries to impose upon
her, there is a low. muffled noise that
sounds something like ''bitf-bitf-!" and
the neighbors are obliged to interfere
to save his worthless life. 1t would he q
blessing to humanity if every man who
marries for money, and takes pleasure
in making his wife unhappy, could be
knocked end over appetite every time
he causes the tears to come to her poor
eyes. If this could lH done. there would
be less suffering in this world, and few
cr divorce cases oil record. 1t wouldn't
be II bad scheme for ricll old maids
about to marry, who know that they arc
to be married simply for their money.
to get pair of Indian clubs. and pr;,c-
tice every day, and thus be able to meet
the old boy on his own ground. 1t
might be u good plan to 90 into Gu
hoots with some old maid friend. pur-
chase n set of boxing gloves, and learn
the manly art of self-defcncc. Then,
after the wedding, if the young hus-
band turns out to bc an old "roun.icr'
and insists upon spending all of the
money among the boys and loaiing
around billiard-halls and b.r-rooms,
suffer him to go forth into the stily
night no more. 1t would be well. as 81
starter, to call him one side and reason
with him gently, but firmly. If he is
pcntcnt and weeps, it will show that he
at least has heart, and to encourage
him to do better, it would be we'll to in
crease his allowance. If he still has :t
tendency 10 tear the town to pieces, and
color 1t q roscate hue, be at the door
some night and give him warm, moth-
crly welcome. If he has wlliskcrs long
enough for the wind to circulate freely
through, take hold of those whiskers as
if they were the forc-lock of II balky
horse. After toying with them for II
few moments, and getting the hur and
fingers snugly interlaced, jerk his head
suddenly to one side and give it to him
with the other hand until lie shows signs
of being tir,i of life. In nine eases out
of ten. this Kind of treatment will have
the desired effect, and papa will stay at
home as meek and quiet as Il little lamb.
There are exceptions to all eases, how
ever, and even II broken jaw will not
make some of them mend their ways.
If after I'LL this he still Graves excite
mcnt, make u sure thing of it next time
by breaking his back with one of ths
Indian clubs. A shotgun may have to
be used as a last resort, but an Indian
club will generally do the work all
right.-Prck's Sun.