The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-02-04

people who had been run over on the |
streets, drunken rowdies, disreputable |
women and such canGille, that he was |
pleased to see some apparently respect
able criminals patronize his court.
Taking his seat on the judicial throne,
he asked pleasantly what was the nature
of the case.
The little man and the Baroness
sprang to their feet. They addressed
the chair simultaneously, and with con-
siderable show of emotion, particularly
the insulted baroness.
Judge-Don't both speak at once.
Which of you is the complainant?
The Gentleman-I am.
Baroness-I am.
Judge-That is impossible. Police
man. which of the parties applied to
you first?
Policeman-The gentleman did, your
Honor
The Judge-Now, sir, you have the
floor. Madame, you will allow the
gentleman to state his case.
zhe Baroness sits down with gesture
of despair. The little gentleman bows
to the court, clears his throat. and asks:
"Has your Honor ever been in lovep"
Judge-I might reply to that ques-
ton that it was none of your business,
but do not blush to acknowledge that
on several occasions have been under
the influence of the tender passion.
Complainant-Then your Honor will
comprehend to some extent the suffer-
ings that I have undergone. About
two months ago recovered from
dangerous, and, what might have been
a fatal illness. My physician said I
needed a change of air and amusement.
lived at that time in the Boulevard de
Tophet, so moved to the Rue de Para
dis. My greatest pleasure was to look
out of my window every morning and
witness the awakening of Aurora.
Baroness-Your Honor, he lies. He
did not bother himself in the least about
the rising sun. 1t was me that he
stared at like the escaped lunatic
that he is. For the past two months /
have not been able to look out of my
window without being subjected to the
impudent glances of that wretched lit
tie caricature of man, whom your
Honor allows to air his insolence in
your court.
80, you wretch!' and the Baroness
grit her teeth and shook her head at
the complainant, who sighed
Proceed" said the Judge.
omplainant-What the lady says is
| to some extent true. Yes, / confess
feasted my eyes on her peerless beauty
My physician told ME that needed some
thing to divert my mind from the cares
| of business. That is my excuse. After
awhile it became positive necessity
for me to stand at my window. 0,
what lovely vision it was! How
beautiful she is! but your Honor can
see for yourself. Isn't she daisy?
Judge--Please confine yourself to the
case, young man. have been there
myself, so to speak, but the rules of the
court do not permit you to elaborate so
much. You have the sympathies of the
court, but be brief.
Complainant-I neglected my bnsi-
ness, shut myself up in my room, and
lived only for her How often did l
resort to strategy to communicate with
my lovely tormentor! / sent her let
ters breathing of love from my win
dow / saw her tear them to pieces,
and scatter them to the winds of
heaven. sent her flowers. almost as
fresh and beautiful as her lovely lips
and eyes, and next morning saw my
bouquets in the trash barrel amid dead
cats, cold hash, and like debris.
Judge-Poor. unfortunate young
mani
Complainant-Well may your Honor
say that am unfortunate. The SYM
pathy of this Honorable Court is balm
to my bruised and bleeding heart. Soon
people will read on my sad tombstone:
Here lies poor young man who per-
ished of unreguited love. He could move
police justice, but he could not move a
move the cruel object of his affections.
Judge-Come to the point, if you
please. What is your complaint"
COMPLAINANT bribed her servants;
they took my money, but the base me-
mails never gave me a chance to con-
verse with her. Disguised as letter
carrier sought to converse with her,
but she ordered the janitor with large
copious feet to kick me out into the
| cold street, which he did. Whenever
she went out / followed her as faith
fully as her own shadow.
Judge-What nuisance you must
have made of yourself.
Complainant--True love is never dis
couraged. Yes, followed her wherever
she want. Learned yesterday that she
was going to move away, SO there was
no time to be lost. Driven to despair.