The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-09-23

THE MERRY SIDEl


still quaking.
Cleveland went deer hunting in the Adiron
dacks-but the deer vetoed him.
-
Maine furnishes the "moral effect" in thi
campaign. "Jim was thar"
Reunions bring out the greatest efforts of tive
classes-poets and lemonade men.
At the Reunions all meet as brothers-1xcep
the huckster. He's an enemy to all.
Many man builds reputation out of greer
materials-they swell until they break down.
Bayard's Envoy established the right of an
American citizen in Mexico-the right TO ge
drunk.
The Englishman lost the yacht-race. An ole
topper says nothing can beat an American
schooner.
That love is blind which weds without see
ing where the bread and butter is to come
from.
The safety of the country seems assured-by
the number of statesmen who are willing tc
run for Congress.
Blaine is doubly- victorious He has secured
a big Republican victory in Maine, and his boy
has married an Ohio girl.
*.<
1t is no use talking about the "smiIea of For.
tune" 10 the man who tried to lose the sold
woman" at the big Reunion.
n".
The defeated Democrats in Maine, will look
toward Ohio in November, and thank the Lord
that it was no worse in Maine
The boys are much pleased with the yentila-
ton of the Rink. Itisn't quite so easy as walk
ing in at the door, but nearly so.
*x*
The Democrat reads the news from Maine,
slams the paper aside, and begins to hunt up
the last years vote of Mississippi
Twas shame to annoy the President with
stories about people dying in Charleston, Just
when he was about to get a bite.
-
The young MeXicans had never seen a Mug
wump before, and they didn't know how to
treat 1t. They fed it on whisky.
1t is notyet known whether Geronimo's was
genuine surrender, or whether he only wanted
to come in and get more ammunition.
-.
1t is not the finest clothing that covers the
best heart. The frost often works beautiful de-
signs upon the poorest rubbish-pile
+.=
Ripley, Ohio, Fair Grounds sold for debt! The
big pumpkin and the >antediluvian pacing
horses are orphans, in that County.
-x-
A great smoke appeared off the Florida coast,
as from subterranean fires. Is the Solid South
about to see the beginning of the end?
'The wish" is not always the "father to the
thought" Many a man wishes to make a
speech which does not contain thought
#x+
Sedgwick denies that the Mexicans got him
drunk and bedeclzed him with flowers The
only blossom he carried was on his nose.
-.
A Columbus druggist put up morphine in
instead of quinine-but the young Ia
1y who took them never complained about it.
Sedgwick's was mistake of Judgment An
American can do almost anything-but he
ant drink as much whisky as a Mexican
5reaser.
The sulphurous smoke coming up through
he water near Charleston, convinces the peo-
Die that that ill-starred city is nearer Demo-
'ratic headquarters even than suspected.
Some of the Democrats don't like Gen. Pow
'll's way of speaking of traitors. One of the
Generals remarks does sound q good deal like a
roadside of musketry.
Allen Myers is one of the wittiest of men,
Report has it that one day last week he ac-
that he was a liar-and it was tele-
'raphed out as a matter of news.
70 !,
Llama, to stop the mills, and the proprietors
hey will run again."
The Democratic paper will please rise and ex-
lain how plurality in Maine twice as big as
ny Republican expected is Democratic gain.
-
A countryman stepped up to a Committee
nan at Reunion and asked how he sold them
pointing to his badges.) He thought it was
Walking advertisement for notion store.
Democratic paper says "McBride was too
oung to go to war, but he helped sing Rally
'ound the Flag" By the way, what was the
Democratic party singing about that time?
+.t
One thing is always lacking at the "experi-
nee meeting at the Soldiers Reunion-the
older never tells how often he was put in the
uard-house.
81 was educated for a lawyerr' proudly ex-
laimed the young man.
"Ah, yes-what did the lawyer want you ed
Gated for?" asked his blnff old friend.
"s e"
Darling will you be forever mine?n asked
ne young man.
"Forever thine," she declared.
(They were married, and parted before three |
lonths) /
One Cincinnati milkman has been arrested |
n stealing milk from another With their
1eap rents for water, they don't allow any
Ody TO steal it.
The Gallipolis Journal says jackson has five |
lousand people and no street lamps" What |
D we want with street lamps? When night |
'mes we go home and go to bed, like decent |
eople.
Those who have tried to sleep at Reunion
imp grounds, firmly believe in the need of a
L1gious revival Immediately afteIward. The
uls OF the base-drummers are in danger.
An old soldier says: "When the Johnnies
look Charleston with their cannon, firing on
lie flag, they rejoiced greatly. When the Lord
lakes her up with an earthquake, oh, how
icy are frightened!'
Authorities on horse matters say that a horse
N live but five days without food or water
ont know how il is about the water, but we
ave seen horses that had evidently lived for
eekS without food.
An old colored woman at Lexington, KY,
bout to be buried, kicked the lid from the cof-
D, then told the assembled darkeys that the
orld was coming to an end. They were al
ost ready to believe it.
Some enthusiastic Ohio paper has brought
1t an Ohio man for Vice President. All nom
nse! Ohio don't want TO fool away any time
little matters like the Presidency. We've
ltlived those small ambitions, long ago.
When Cleveland sits upon a stand in the
oods, waiting for deer to come along and be
ot, let us hope that he can sy ympathize with