Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1886-02-13


him, he said:
dearly beloved fellow. citizens,
these young folks now appear before
you to indulge in the holiness o. mat
ormony accordin' to scripture an the
laws o. this court. If any of you knows
any cause why they shouldn't make
the play, you want to squeal right out
at this stage O. the game, or corral
your jaws on the subject furever
more"
No objection was heard and the jus
tice continued:
"Hol' up yer right hans
The couple b~lashingly obeyed.
''Do you, and each of you, solemnly
sw'ar that you will marry each other
in the presence Of this court; that you
will do the square thing by each other;
that you will give everybody else the
go-by. an cling to each other through
life till death calls upon you to Gosh in
your earthly checks, an that you will
be to each other husban' an wife &C.
cordin' to the law an the prophets an
the rules an regulations o. this hon.
orable court in such case made an
pervided, sc heip ye God?"
The couple so swore.
Jimmy was sweating ~profusely over
the exertion, and after scratching his
head to collect his thoughts. contin-
ued:
"Then |, James Crane, Justice of
the peace, you as husban'
an wife, now an fo~reverHaore, world
without end, Amen; an if tho style
doesn't suit you, you have the legal
right to appeal to the supreme court at
Omaha at any time within sixty days.
Now light out, an MT an the boys'Il
60 an drink your health"
Tho couple seemed to be perfectly
satisfied, and walked away hand in
hand, their suA-taned faces wreathed
in smiles of unmistakable happiness.
During the trial of his first. and, !
may add, his last case, for he threw up
the Office in dis gust, one OF. die alleged
lawyers, a young sprig from Omaha,
said in his speech:
Your honov,rths ground taken by
the attorney on the other side Is a fslse
one sir; an as ertion in which Black
stone will SUSTAIN me. [ can make it
clear to your honor by Blackstone
that"
The court interrupted him, and said:
"Well. let's ofean this thing up as
we 60 along an then we won't get
mixed. If we have these -aveled ends
ahangin' loose. we'll mover strai'ten
the matter out. Constable, go an
bring Mr.. Blackstone into, court to
testify"
1t was explained to him, that Black
stone was an authority ON law and had
been dead many years. This made
the old man fighting mad, and he
jumped up and threw otfshis coat and
slapped his fists and howled:
"This court may not be very fly on
law and may be away Cd or e~dication,
but it'll be id from Dan to Ber-
sheba, an back agin if any billed shirt
from Omehaw kin ring in q dead law
yer on it! No living man kin come
before the bar of this court an make q
play with o second-h stiff that's been
in the groand a hui lie time, and not
get licked Do you think you kin try
to work o foreign corpse into the evi.
dence an escape the righteous judg-
ment O the court? Peel your linen,
you dandified frsak o nature, fur the
cyclones bowling an the coart's
a-comin' at you in all it's legal power.
WhoUp!" Two minutes later the
Omaha law sharp was the worst licked
man the country had ever seen.
Jimmy never sat on another, case.
He resigned in disgust and toro down
his, single and in the future wanted
to lick every man that addressed him
as Judge.
His SUCCESSOR also proved q failure.
In a neighboring settlement, twelve
miles distant, young man was ar
rested for breaking into a cabin and
stealing q namber Of articles. He wsS
an intimate friend of the judge and
the old man was almost tkunderstruak
when told that a constable, was bring
ing Frank up the river on,s charge OF
burglary. When the prisoner arrived
the Judge took him aside, and said.
Frank, 1 couldn't think any more
Of you If you war my " boy. an il
breaks me all up to see you in this
trouble. They tell me you are charged
with burglary"
Yes, that's the charge. judge"
TOO bad! Too bad! An sre yol
guilty FrankP"
II guess l am, Judge. I'm afeared
they can prove it 81 me-