The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-07-08
nlonitomcf pilot.
THURSDAY, JULY s, 1886.
Being Treated as One of the
FAMILY"

a demand is made, frequently, to ''be
treated as one of the family" which
operates against retaining you in one
home for any length of time. 1t Is I'M
natural and wrong to expect such con-
sideration, and receive stipulated wages
at the same time. There is some ex-
cuse for this demand, if you fare as the
family does; suffer alike with them all
Inconvenience; in adversely cast your
lot with them and help them without
fixed reward; this is expected of the
daughters, and if they adopt you it be-
comes your duty to- But you say Il
am not willing, thus to sacrifice myself
and my interests to stranger; | only
make the demand to gain more respect
ability for myself and my position"
How sadly you are mistaken; it does
not raise you one iota in the esteem of
the world nor of the family, you serve.
They yield only through necessity. You
are a servant still and they do not re-
cognize you as anything else. If you
obtrude yourself in the society of their
friends Or insist upon a seat at the
table, with the family, you become dis
agreeable to them. If you were lady,
you would be Mortified yourself at your
demand A well-bred woman never
intrudes, where she feels she is not well
come and would be mortified even by
an unintentional intrusion. This very
desire on your part to force yourself
where your presence is not desired,
stamps you as i'll bred and of course
unworthy of any intimacy with refined
people. The presence of any one, even
an equal, is not desirable, at all times,
at the family table; a So -vant's services,
are often dispensed with for the sake
of uninterrupted enjoyment of that
privacy and communion that is only
found around the home table. So that
this demand proves a want of delicacy
on your part.
But this exclusion from the parlor
and table does not necessarily Danish
you to entire loneliness or dependence
upon outside companionship for enjoy
ment A quiet unobrusiye servant may
frequently be invited to a seat in the
sitting room, when the family are as
sembled for recreation or work. A
kind mistress will minister to her SER
want by manifesting an interest in any
pleasant occupation. she may be en-
gagged in, when her household duties
are completed, and will aid by her
counsel and assistance whenever she
can do SO. But you should never take
advantage of kind mistress and de-
mand such notice as a lady would re-
fuse if she felt that it was given I'M
willingly. That such privileges are
given unwillingly is proved by the con-
slant complaints against their demand,
and an acknowledgment that they are
never granted except from necessity.
So if you really desire Responsibility and
to be considered lady-like, be as careful
about obtruding yourself upon others,
as every well-bred woman is, and you
will be nearer retaining your desire than
if you insist upon the appearance of
Responsibility without being worthy of 1t.
These demands are usually made by
a servant who is alone and thus de-
barred the home companionship of her
equals. For this reason her demand
seems more plausible. But the spirit
| that exacts this social equality and in
sists upon intrusion is repugnant to
those who have been well raised and
whose good opinion you would force;
you will have more of their regard if
you withdraw your demand and recon-
ellie yourself to the fact that intrusion is
i'll bred in a servant as well as in a lady
Hrs. Z. J. Gatriey, Ia Good HouSe-
bGep&3lg.