davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
Happy To Be Beaten.

Two noticed that a man can argue on one side until he believes it. When was youth we had up the question:
 (Which gives us the greatest pleasure, the pursuit or the possession of an ob- iectf' was then pursuing a maiden with great alacrity and pleasing prospects, q and was intensely happy in that particu- Id lar business, and as had been assigned to that side of the question, spread myself like 8 green bay tree to sustain my cause.
 ]. dwelt upon the eager and fascinating pleasure with which man pursued fame and fortune, and how vain and empty he found them when once in his possession. l quoted Shakspere, and reciteo Car dinal Wolsey's soliloquy: elf I had served my God as faithfully as I have served my king" etc, and I sat down with modest content, for the eyes of the maiden were upon me and had won her smiles.
 Just then one of those rollicking boys who never prepared himself, but just opened his mouth and let her talk, rose forward and said: ..-.-
 Well. now suppose, Mir. President, that Brother Arp were pursuin' pretty
 
 as he could. and were a longin' for her and dyin' to get her, would he druther keep on pursuin' and pursuin' an follerin an follerin' to the little eend of time, or would he druther catch up with her an hold her in his arms an exclaim, She's mine, she'sHsine, I've got her at last, an" bless the Lord, I'm gwine to keep her forever an ever, amen I say Brother Arp, upon honor now. which had you drdther?"
 We'll. of course blushed end so did the maiden, for everybody knew our se- cret, and everybody cut one eye at me and the other at her.
 We lost the case, but I am not yet convinced that I have ever seen happier days than my courting days. and wouldn't mind being young again and going through the same rapturous ex- perienee.-l Atlanta Constitution.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
CALLING PEOPLE UP. 4
A Way of Making a Good Living.

"You don't believe night watchmen grow rich in the business" said NIT. Oscar Berry. of Murray Hill 10 a repre- sentative of the New York Mail and EX- press. sssWell then, you are entirely mistaken, for l know of a. least two members of the profession. as l call it, that own their own houses and several others besides.
 How do they make it? Take, for instance, John -.
 stHe resides within easy distance or fhe Grand Central Depot. Hehas num- Der of stores and private houses to take care of around there, but one-hundredth part of his earnings are not made in that way Ji#- "Just imagine, fl you can. the number of train men of every description that have to be called every morning. You know that even half a minute behind time would lose them their trip, il not their job.
 linen. take car conductors and driv- CTS; tLey are precisely in the same fix. --.
 "All this is but drop in the bucket, however, wh n compared with the mul- titude of other workingmen that have to be called on time, as well as early-rising business men, whose reliance on their watches and clocks has cost them untold troubte in the way of fines, rebukes or dismissals, Then. again. you have your milkmeD that have routes; your express wagon men, who have to catch trains.
 "PII never tell you how many of them John has on his list; but do know that he has had enough of them for the last ten or fifteen years to enable him to hnucac mn avenue, and to own his own house on .:econd avenue. +
 "Can these men afford to pay for the services of watehman Why, cer- talnlyi they can, for the watchmans charges are moderate.
 "Take my own case. have to be at my business at 5 o'clock sharp. winter or sp xmer. I have often and often got left by depending upon my watch or the clock in the house. Again, If ] an up late I am liable to oversleep myself.
 ~.Not so with John, for he is on the tramp from midnight until clock next morning. You can depend on him even if your ears are stuffed, for his attack on the be-. would wake the dead"
 And his charges %
 sa -a'The small sum of 9 cents per week to one class of customers, 30 cents to another, and 75 cents to the richest. Within the last ten or fifteen years he has, together with two of his sons, grown rich in the business, but still sticks to it.
 ITO meet him on his rounds in frost and snow, rain or shine, followed by a shaggy dog, his appearance Is such as tc excite your sympathy; but if you saw him on Sunday, doing the road act be. hind q fast little mare, your sympathy would be transformed into envy. -aa "Next to him comes Jim -, who does large express and truck business He waits on the Murray Hill folks. and, ~ like John, is well off. Both have been supplied with reliable chronometers by their constituents, who can sleep as sOundly as they please and have no fear of being late for business.
 Now you have the secret of how John and Jim grew rich. I have nc doubt that there arc hundreds of other watchInen throughout the city who art engaged in the same business"
 r--
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
curiou. Result. of an Experiment.

At Jacksonville. Fla, Sunday, while @ number of gentlemen were engaged in conversation on Hogan Street, it was proposed to place silver twenty-five cent piece in the centre of the walk and see how many persons would pass with out picking it up. E
 On the first trial 19 passed, but the twentieth saw the coin and was in the act of picking it up when told the object for which it was placed there, and he passed along.
 The money remained on the walk for upward of an hour in open view, and on an average one out of every ten who passed saw it. but all, on being let inl O the experiment, allowed it to remain until q man came along, picked it up, and took 1t of with him,-lSavannab News.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
Missing.

Mother: Why are you so late in get ting home tonight? I've been feeling very anxious about you"
 Mabel: "Oh, missed, and had to stay after school"
 Mother: Missed! What, your spell ing lesson? You spelled 1t all correctly when l heard you this morning."
 Mabel: "No, didn't miss single word of that. I went above Sammy White. and left off at the head, too, but Sammie was so mad that he made up an awful face at me. Then I threw my book at his head, and missed hitting it, so the teacher said it was a grave misde- meanor,' and 1 must be kept in after school"
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
The Mighty Romans ssrenrtb.

Daughter: ''Wash Julius Cnsar one or the strongest men that ever lived, Father: What makes you ask that question:"
 Daughter. '' was just reading that be threw bridge over the Rhine
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
The Bravest the Tendere.t.

Your~ Hou ewife: II wish to get 6 pair of chickens. They must be nice Ones."
 Dealer: Yes'm. Here are some very nice ones."
 r: H.: {" Have you any game chick ens?"
 D: "Well. ma'am. they don't often kill game chickens. They keep 'em for show"
 Y. H.: "I should prefer game chick ens."
 D.: "For what reason, ma'a ?" '. H. " Because game chickens arc brave"
 "D.: "Well, what O that 2"
 !. H.: "The poet says, "The bravest are the tenderest. "-[ Boston Courier.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
KING ALCOHOL DETHRONED
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The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
Taking His Pleasure. Sadly.

." How is this, son-in-law; you went to the ball last night and here 1t is scarcely two months since you lost your wifeg"
 "I acknowledge it. belle mamma, but then you know dance so sadlyg' -lFrench.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
Baby Had His Hair.

Visitor (regarding the baby): "0h. what dear little duck of a child 1 He resembles you both; indeed he does. He has got his mothers hand some eyes and his fathers hair"
 Father (who Is bald-headed): Iguess he has; I haven't"
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
Agitate, Agitate, Agitate.

The government has granted upward of 5000 patents on churns; but achieving butter is like achieving reform; there's only one way to do it after,all:
 "Agitate, agitate. agitate. - Judge.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16
A Ra.h Experiment.

Marrying woman for her money, says a philosopher, is very much like setting rat-trap and batting it with your own finger.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16

ORDERS PROMPTLY, NEATLY AND TAsTEFULLY EXE-
 ECUTED AT REASONABLE FIGURES.
The St. Johns herald., 1886-09-16

LARGEST CIRCULATION AND BEST ADVERTISING MEDIUN
 K APACHE COUNTY AND THE TERRITORY.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
A Curious Old Law.


 There are a number of curious old laws still in existence in Missouri. In the early part of the Mexican war Ab- salon Hughes, of Galloway County, was wounded by cannon ball at the battle of Sacramento. He was struck below the knees and had both legs broken. The General Assembly which convened in 1S49 passed special law granting him the privilege of keep .ng a dram-shop at Cedar City, Galloway County, during his life, without being subject to any license. This was passed as a recognition of his service MT. Hughes at once opened saloon and has never yet closed it. He is now an old man, but is not as badly crippled as one might expect, considering the ter rible wound he received. The Down. ing law does not interfere with his special privilege. Although he has been running a saloon in Cedar City for over thirty-seven years, few people out side of his neighborhood know that he is exempt from paying icense.-Cor. St. Louis Republican.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
ADAM AND EVE.

How Many Apples Did the Parents of
 Manhood Eat?
 Some say Eve and Adam ?, total of 10 only.
 We think the above figures entirely wrong. If Eyes and Adam ? certain ly the total would be Is. Scientific men, however, on the strength of the theory that the antediluvians were a race of giants, reason something like this: Eve 81 and. Adam ?; total, 163.
 Wrong again. What could be clearer than if Eve 1 and Adam 1 the total was S93? HeF-se 4-l
 If Eve 8 1st and Adam 8 ?, would not the total be 1,623p
 George Washington says Eve 8 4 Adam and Adam 8 ? Eve;-. together they got away with S,93S.
 But if Eve s Adam, Adam 8 24 ? oblige Eve. Total, S2,O56.
 We. think this, however, not sufi- cient quantity, for though we admit that Eve 1 4 Adam Adam. if he 8, 0 O2S1 2 4 ? keep Eve company. Total, SO,- 282,O
 Everybody is wrong again. Eve, when she 8 1, s 1 ? many, and proba- ply felt sorry for it, but her companion, in order to relieve her sorrow, s 1 ?. Therefore Adam, if he 1, s f ? ? fly Eve's depressed spirits, Hence both ate 81, ,896, ,054 apples. s.-IoledO Blade.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
No True Granite in America.

'There is no true granite in America, as geologists understand it" was the rather surprising remark of Expert De Loss to little gathering on Change the other day.
 He was asked to explain himself fur ther, and he went on thus:
 Well, MT. Dana, the celebrated ge- ologist, says: True granite is composed of quartz, feldspar and mica 1 be- lieve those are his exact words Now, this is a fact; then 1 repeat there has never been block of fine granite dis covered on the American continent, nor anywhere else in the world that I have ever seen. All accepted granite has a portion of hornblende in it. This is admitted by the modern German lithol- ogists as natural component part of the great paving-stone. The more hornblende that appears the harder is the granite. In fact, all hard American granite is called hornblende granite. D. CincinnGti Sun.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
WON THE GIRL.
How Little Bill Succeeded in Becoming
 Uncle Bucks SOn-in-Law.1

How Little Bill Succeeded in Becoming
 Uncle Bucks SOn-in-Law.5
 A party of men were sitting in, front of country store, whittling and retail ing neighborhood scandal. After a time, one man, addressing an old fellow, said
 "Uncle Buck, hear that your daugh- ter Sally is going to marry little Bill Peggins.
 -s ".Yes, that's so.
 I've all lowed, Uncle Buck, that she vas goin' to marry Big Bob Smith. ''
 That was the al'clatiOn."
 "Why did she change her mind?"
 wy, Little Bill won us all uv sud- dent. ssh @t
 'sTell us, fur we'd. all like to know how that weyzen thing could gain a pint over Bob. y ---
 ..Wall, last Sundaywe had a right smart sprinklin' uv folks, includin' Bill, fur dinner. Bill, you all know, is the bashfulest an awk' ardest feller in the country, an he's so bashful that it hurts person to look at him. Well, when we sot down to the table, Bill stumbled and knocked over pitcher uv water. He looked like he would burn up but asshored him thatwas all right. He mashed up big Irish potato an when he gun to pepper it, the top of the pepper-box come off an split about half the pepper on his plate. Wife she asked him to let her give him an other plate, but he declared that he liked pepper. He commenced to shovel it into his mouth, and I'll be dinged if 1 didn't think his eyes would pop out of his head Wife she handed him cup of hot coffee, an when he went to take it he trapped it on his knee. He grinned, fur the coffee mighty nigh burnt him up, but he didn't say nothin', 'cept that he hoped he wa'nt a-puttin' nobody to no trouble. Then he tried to cut piece uv meat, threw about a hafer pint uv gravy on the Widder Bar ker an then turned over his plate. l tell you he was the awk' ardest man 1 ever seed. He got settled down airter while, but jest as he retched airter biscuit he turned over big pitcher uv buttermilk. Then he jumped up, struck the table with his fist an yelled:
 ',I 1 ken whup any darned man in this houser He walked out, an Followed him. 'Bill,' said I.
 ''Whut in thunder do you want?'
 |" You said you could
 ""That's what I saidr said he, an, gentlemen, if he didn't give me the wust whuppin' I ever had, I wush I may die dead I couldn't hold O,1t aUain St Sucb. a appeal as that, so I says: Bill, says I, you shall have my gal in spite O my wife an old Nick-an they're putty much the same-an' the person that tries to interfere with that weddin' will have me to climb. "-ArkGnsaW 1rGv. sEer.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
PERSIAN RELICS.

| Gratifying Results of Excavations Carried | On on the Site of Ancient Susa.
 A vast quantity of relics, the result ot the excavations carried on for long time on the site of the ancient Susa by M Dieulafoy and his companions, have arrived at the museum of the Louvre. They were brought to Toulon in trans port from Bassorah, and filled 215 chests that weighed over 10000 kilogrammes
 (nearly forty-nine tons). The chief contents are: CD Two fragments of a frieze of enameled earthenware adorned with lions in bas-relef. from the princi- pal entrance to the palace of Artaxerxes Mnemon-both fragments are over thir- teen feet high by nearly thirty feet long; @ similar fragment of frieze from the palace of King Darius Hystaspes, adorned with twelve figures of the loyal bodyguard, the famous ''Immortals'' = this piece is eleven and one-half feet high by nearly forty feet long; (3) two fragments of staircase in same ma terial; (4) two fragments of terra cotta friezes, showing fantastic animals-they are together over twenty feet long by nearly six high; (5) the capital of pill lar from the palace of ArtaXerxes, rep resenting a two-headed monster-it is sixteen feet high by thirteen feet in width; (6) collection of cut gems, numbering about 300, which seems to date from the earliest period of the Sassanide dynasty @ large number of arrow headed inscriptions on stone or glazed earth, mostly from Susa; (S) con- siderable collection of bronze coins from Susa and the neighboring districts from the time of the eParthians and the Sassan- ides; (9) quantity of bronze orna- ments and mountings of the outer doors of the palace of Artaxerxes; Q0) anum- Der of statuettes of bronze, ivory, terra cotta and marble, a quantity of vases and toilet ware; Q1) a mass of objects of comparatively small value, enameled Sassanide vases, Parthian urns for the dead, iron and bronze weapons, instru- ments and skeletons. Besides these things the expedition took plaster casts on large scale of portions of the palace of Artaxerxes, also photographs of the neighborhood of Susa, the sites of the explorations of various old monuments and ruins in other parts of Persia. It is believed that five or six months will be required to get all the things in order. Disful, the modern village on the site of Susa, is about 400 kilometres from Bas- sorah. At first the expedition en- countered much opposition from the natives, owing to a report that the Frenchmen wanted to carry away the body of the prophet Daniel, which is supposed to be buried Tn cave in the great object of s.-Lomdo1 Standard.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
A STRANGE CLOCK.

Telling Time by Flowers Which Bloom st
 Certain Hours of the Day and Night.
 The judges house was over in the French quarter of New Orleans, unat- tractive outside; but as soon as you got into the broad hall a cool breeze struck you, laden, without exaggeration, with the balm of thousand flowers. The hall led right through the house, and opened into regular fairy-land of | flowers, a garden the like of which had never dreamed of. It was sur rounded by high wall, and had plants in it from every country under the suL. The white-haired old gentleman and 8 group of grandchildren hanging about him took us about; and the first thing we stopped at was large oval pot, set out with small plants around the edge.
 "This," said the judge, is my clock. What time is it, Clara?" he asked one of the children.
 The girl ran about the pot, and said it was about four O clock; and so it was. The four-o' clock was in bloom.
 ''In fact" said the story-teller, ''the clock was made up of flowers. In the center was pair of hands, of wood, covered with some beautiful vines; but they had nothing, however, to do with the time-telling.
 The time was this: The judge had noticed that almost every hour in the day some plant bloomed; and work ing on this principle, he had selected plants of different hours and placed them in circle, twenty-four in num- Der. one for each hour. For example, at the top of the earthern clock, at twelve o'clock, was planted the pOrtu- lacca; and he told me that it would bloom within ten minutes of twelve, and rarely miss. At the hours of one, two and three, he had different varie- ties of the same plant, all of which bloomed at the hour opposite to which it was planted. At four O clock he had our common plant of that name; and you all know how you can depend on that. At five the garden nitigo came out; at six the geranium triste; ard at seven the evening primrose. Oppo- site eight clock he had the bona nox; and nine o'clock the silent noctifora- all these blooming at or near the t;-ue given. At ten o'clock, if remember rightly, he had cactus; at eleven an other kind, and at twelve the night blooming cereus.
 Half the year some of the plants do not bloom at all. The plants opposite one and two in the morning were cacti, that bloomed about that time; and at three was planted the common salsify; and at four the chicKory; at five snow thistle, and at six the dande- lion.-Northern Budget
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16

A little later they knew all there was to know of the pitiful story. His fel. low-workmen had gathered on the wharf Saturday afternoon after work to watch the freshet. One by one they scattered to their homes up and down the river, and neighbor seeing MT. Danks called to him to come; but he shook his head, saying he was not going home till his work was finished So they left him there looking down the river toward his home. One hour later the wharf was swept away. No one knew what had become of the solitary fgure-save One. And as the poor body, without volition of its own, was guided through flood and darkness to its home, who can deny that the spirit-too weak to shape its own course-was borne on infinite pity into the Eternal HomeP-HeSter Stuart, t's Chicago Tribune.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
The Ascension of Mont Blanc.

The highest mountain in Europe was ascended for the first time a hundred years ago. On August s, 17S6, Jacques Balmat and Dr. Paccard succeeded in reaching the top of Mont Blanc, after several unsuccessful attempts. At tempts had been made previously by eight Englishmen Gin 1741,) and by Saussure and Burrit toward the close of the century. Balmat, being the first person who discovered the way up, re- ceived prize established for this ob- ject by .Saussure. His companion lost his sight for four days and became so ill that he narrowly escaped with his life. Forty-one years later a new road, previously impracticable, was discov- cred by two Englishmen. From 17S6 to 1854 only 49 ascents were made Between 1876 and 1880 S69 tourists reached the summit, not including guides. Up to 1880 9 men, including , tourists, had lost their lives on Mont Blanc. In September, 1870, tourists, 3 guides, and 5 porters were surprised by snow-storm, which lasted s days. At the end of that me the corpses were found 1.500 feet from tue summit.-M I. PosL.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
J. W. DORRINGTON, Proprietor.
NUMBER 46.
.-Sixteen he answered. ..I th;uk

'tSixteen," he answered. "I think see something about fractions now. There's just as many teenths in any thing as you divide it into. If we di- vided this in eighteen pieces, then there would be eighteen eighteenths, and the number of eighteenths we took out would be the top number in the fraction.
 That's just it exactly" said man. ma, smiling at Georgie's Doyish ex- planation. Now, I think you won't have such hard time in your arith- metic class tomorrow. Suppose we have game of subtraction of fractions now. If little boy should eat one of these pieces how many would there be leftP'
 Georgie laughed, and one piece van- ished in a twinkling.
 "There would be fifteen-sixteenths," he answered.
 Before very long every fraction of the orange had vanished, and Georgie ran off to play, quite happy in the thought that he had got an idea of fractions at last I wonder whether that orange will help any other little boy besides GeorgieP-Miunie E. Ken 1sey, tg Christian ct Work.
The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-16
FRENCH HORSE-SOUP.
A Popular Paris Broth and How an'
 Where It Is Made.

A Popular Paris Broth and How and Where It Is Made.
 Every day, at early morning, noon and evening, ill Paris. you will see poor people gathering at certain shab- by cookshops in the quarters of Belle vile, Montmartre, the Batignolls and other of the sections outside the boule- yards, where poverty houses thickest, each armed with a tin pail, a pitcher or something else calculated to carry liquid. These receptacles are duly filled with thin but strong and savory broth, ladled from huge, steaming caldrons, and which costs only a cent or two quart Ihave drank this bouil- lon, and found it nourishing and good. It is made of the bones and scraps of horse meat, after the choicer pieces are sold to the cheap restaurants, and the very essence and marrow of the meat are in it, for the boiling is kept up until the bones are fairly hon. evcombed and the meat reduced to shreds like bits of twine.
 This broth provides the principal animal nourishment for the average laborer in the gay city. He adds to it a few vegetables, thickens it with bread, and it having, as the cook book might say, been seasoned to taste" makes 8 palatable and hearty meal. No other meat but that of the horse is employed for this purpose. Beef is far too expensive for such use. for it sells at nearly double what it brings in America, and the scraps and bones are readily purchased at proportionste rates.-N F. NeUS.