Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1886-09-16
THE COBBLESBURY BURGLARS.

Mr. Cobblesbury came home to sup
per looking very grave, and sat down
to the table with one hand firmly press
ed over his breast pocket.
what have you got in your pocket.
pap" inquired the eldest daughter, Miss
Emeline.
Hush, breathed Mr.. Cobblesbury,
as he felt in his pocket for the thir-
teenth time in five minutes. Burg
larsr'
Burglars in your pocket, paP" cried
inquistive Marmaduke Cobblesbury,
aged fourteen.
No, son." said Mr.. Cobblesbury,
gravely; "but have $500 which John
Spriggs paid me after banking hours
to-day, and it is highly probable that
our house may be visited by burglars
tonight"
Mr.. Cobblesbury looked so solemn
that the twins, aged five. began to
evince signs Of INDUCING their favoritc
amusement OF weeping in one another
arms. All the family excepting
Charles Simon, the eldest son, who
had just returned from college, became
we're grave.
al have been expecting visit from
burglars for many years." said Mr..
Cobblesbury. at is strange we have
escaped so long"
True. asserted Charles Simon.
Every well regulated family nova
days must boast of visit from burg
lars before they can take their proper
post on in society. l learned that in
college"
Marmaduke thought it would be n
good idea to set steel traps in all
parts of the house to catch the burg
lars.
What do the newspapers sayP"
asked Miss Emeline.
Mr.. Cobblesbury could not remem-
Der having read any good recipe for
catching burglars. Charles Simon
thought he would write book on
the subject as soon as he graduated
atcollege. But the principal trouble
seemed to be how the family were to
be- awakened when the burglars
came.
The burglars will wake us fast
enough" said Charles Simon.
"But they might kill us first" said
Mrs. Cobblesbury. innocently.
Il read IN paper that the safest
way was to fasten a burglar alarm to
every door and window in the house"
said Miss Emcine.
THAT would be waste of money, I"
objected Mr. Cobblesbury, '.for no
burglar would break in at every door
and window"
'Bcs des." said Mrs. Cobblcsbury,
conyincinglv. the burglars would
steal the alarms"
"Why can't we put tar all over the
front stairsP' inquired Marmaduke.
Then pa and could kill them in the
morning as we go down to breakfast,
for all the burglars would get stuck
on the way upr'
ii do not wish to kill any depredator,
If he will surrender or leave peace
ably" said Mr.. Cobblesbury. THE
only arrangement possible is to arm
ourselves to the teeth, and / will con-
ceal the money in safe place."
The family conceded with this. Mrs.
Cobblesbury thought they should re-
tire early in order to obtain some sleep
before the burglars came. There was
some difficulty concerning the arma-
mcnt required. Both Mr.. Cobblesbury
and Charles Simon possessed revolvers.
Marmaduke took the fire tongs and an
old razor and tied a leather belt around
his waist Miss Emeline procured q
small package of red pepper to throw
into the burglars eyes, but Mrs. Cob
blesbury thought this would be crue
and her daughter compromised or
black pepper, which would not be Sc
strong. The twins wished to take the
garden hose to bed with them. feeling
confident that an icy stream of water
would drive the intruders away. They
were eventually obliged to be content
ed, however, with their popguns and {
small tin pail filed with beans.
When Mr.. and Mrs. Cobblesbury
retired the question arose what should
be done with the revolverP Mrs. Cob
blcsbury declared she should die o
fright if the weapon were placed undel
the pillow. and Mr.. Cobblesbury finall,
drew up chair beside the bed and laiS
the revolver upon 1t.
s'Shall we leave the gas burningP'
inquired Mrs. Cobblesbury, nervously.
/ Certainly not" answered her hus
band. 1.-THE burglars would then b
enabled TO move around with perfec
ease" Accordingly they turned Of
the gas and retired. Mr.. Cobblesbury
despite his years. was soon snoring
vigorously. but Mrs. Cobblesbury couls
not sleep. In about an hour she shoot
her licge lord theoretically, and I'D
jured him to wake up.
Yes, my lovep cried he, leapinI
up; give me the gun; I'll nix emf
mo. no." said Mrs. Cobblesbury
at ;sn't burglars--it's the pistol"
Whats the matter with the pis
tvlp' queried the husband, sarcastic
ally. lis the pistol sickP"
II cant remember the way you lai'
Il, Samuel" explained Mrs. Cobbles
Iury. TREMENDOUSLY. Didn't you pu