Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-04-08

wagon dQOCQer HAL cdlue dlOuS anu SIoio
the barrel and got away with it! I'd like
to see anybody take advantage of me!"-
Free Press.
b6- "By Jove, now, don't you know the
boys in this country are cool" said the Earl
of Linsdale, who is now visiting Arkansaw.
"Why, the other day T was out here in the
hills, an seeing a boy %chopping wood I ap-
preached, sat down or a stone and began a
conversation"
"'How long have you been living here,
sonny?'
"'Ever since I was born
"'How old are you"
"'I'm the youngest in the family, 'cept
Dick, an he's dead
"'Are there many rattlesnakes in this
neighborhood?
"'Wall, er few
"'I'd like to see one?'
"'Nall, jes' look thar behind YER and,
by Jove, looking around I sawa bloody rep
tile, just ready to fasten his teeth in me. Oh,
the boys here are cool, don't you know"
PROBABLY M1sTAKEN.-He looked rath-
er foolish as he halted a policeman in front
of the City Hall to ask:
"Been any snow here lately"
"Snow? Why I haven't seen any since
about the 3rd of April"
"And, of course, no ~sleighing."
"Of course not"
swell 1 don't know. lust heard a man
ON the car say that it looked now as if the
sleighing would soon be gone and l couldn't
exactly make out what he meant. He
might have been color-blind."
eyes"
"Or more likely he was mistaken in
thinking that the snow hung on. Rather
odd, though, as I sat right in front of him
with a straw hat on and the dust was flying
in Clouds"
MATRIMONIAL INFELICITY.-Itis gener-
ally understood in Austin that Colonel Yer
ger and Mrs. Yerger fight like cats n dogs.
They recently gave a reception, to which
Tom Anjerry and Bill Yard, two Texan
university students, were invited.
"Who is that little dude with an eye-glass
to whom Colonel and Mrs. Yerger are talk
ing so pleasantly" asked Tom.
"He is an artist from Boston who is going
to paint them on one picture" replied Bill.
"Is-is he a painter of battle pieces?"
81 don't know. I believe he is going to
paint them in OIL"
"Paint them in oil! What foolishness.
He ought to paint them in vinegar."-'SW-
ings.
Nor EXACTLY A GUARANTEE.-Isaacs-
Mine trent, dot Wits you shust like der skin
on der sausage.
De Jones-Yes, it fits fairly we'll but is it
good goods?
Isaacs-Goot goots! So hellup me-, dot
vos der finest piece of goots on der market.
DE Jones-Do you warrant it:
Isaacs-Varrant it! Veil, no but, mine
trent, if dot goots amt goot, shust you bring
it back und veil make it goot for noting
Chicago Rambler.
p@@ During one of Gen. Johnson's retreats,
two members of Fenner's New Orleans Bat
terry were discussing the general and his
military qualities, when one of them re-
marked:
81 wish the general was dead and in heav-
en-. I think it would be a god-send to the
Confederacy."
"Why my dear fellow" said the other,
"if the general were near the gates of heav-
en- and invited in, he'd fall back"
p6r A certain divine, who had wandered
in the course of his travels beyond the con
veniences of the railroad, was obliged to
take to a horse. Being unaccustomed to
riding, he said to his host: 81 hope you are
not 80 unregenerate in these parts that you
would give mi a horse that would throw a
good Presbyterian minister" "Well, /
Dunno" was the reply, tive believe in
spreading the gospel w-Lndependet.
nT- Finks-''Thanks, old boy. Glad to
hear you say 1 am looking better. 1 feel
better, too. You see l am on my summer
vacation"
Winks-"Vacation-in the city,"
Finks-"Of course"
Winks-"Well, we'll, when l want a va
cation I 60 to the seashore."
Finks-"But you are not married. When
1 want a vacation I send my wife there"
A Busy WoMAN.-"You are kept pretty
busy nowadays" remarked a stranger to
Mrs. Simmons, whose husband has a ranch
on Union creek.
eyes, hardly get time to turn around.
There is always something to keep one
busy. "If it amt the cows, it's the sheep,
if it amt the sheep, it's the pigs, and if it
amt the pigs, it's the children"
p- A young lady up town has hair so long
that it sweeps the floor, but the young lady