The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-04-17
GIFT OE SPEECH.
An Accomplishment Which, If Not Natural,
May BE Cultivated.

|
Probably, my son, you never copsid-
cred how important a thing it is in life
to use language with felicity and copi-
ously. ! purpose showing you, by a
couple of examples, how appetizingly
a dish of fact may be garnished by the
flowers of speech.
Here is bald uninteresting matter
of fact statement:
''As | came down town this morning,
| saw a man run down by herdic.
He was not hurt, but his clothing was
badly soiled.
Now there is nothing attractive in
this statement. 1t is juceless, spirit
less, inartistic. See how the same
materials can be made intensely inter
esting:
by blowpipe! | witnessed con-
demnationed narrow escape this morn
ing. Great Zeus! but | thought the
incarnadined fool was booked for Hades,
for sure! He was Just ahead of me,
dye see, and the man, by stove-lifter!
must have been blind or asleep. An
unsanctified herdic came careering
down the street, by pens and scissors!
and just as the anathema got halfway
over the crossing by pianaforte! the
herdic, by curtain fixtures! came on to
him, by elm tree! pcll nell. and. in an
instant, by tobacco! he was down on
his marrow-bones, by collar buttons!
and the horse almost on top of him, by
check-reiu! The fellow wasn't hurt,
but, by Boston Common! he got con-
demned busting, by sealing-wax! and
he looked, by pocket-knife! as though,
by cuspldorc! as though, by garden
sass! he had been wallowingin horse
pond, by locomotive and train of cars!
all his natural life, by primrose and
daises!'
There, that is something like. You
have the same story, but embellished
and beautified into a real work of art.
A few oaths interspersad into the COM
monest narrative will enfiven it Won
drously. There is much virtue in an
oath.
Again: You are called upon to make
a speech. You have nothing to say;
therefore you remark to this effect:
'Mr. Chairman am no public
speaker; and if were, have nothing
to say. Therefore | beg to be excused
from attempting to make a speech.
Thanking you for calling upon me, |
will, with your permission. now resume
my seat.
That is what you would say; but an
orator would express the same idea in
language BETTING and eloquent. For
instance:
"Mr. Chairman and irrevo-
cably unaccustomed and unused as [
| Il 4 ., Il
elevated rostrum and to dispense and
give forth thence glowing, glittering
and resplendent streams of speech,
rounded and rotund periods of elo-
quence and ornamental and ornate ora
tory, am especially and particularly
unfortunate and unhappy at this time
and moment in not having any thing to
talk about, to speak Of or even to men
ton. Hence and therefore. Mr.. Chair
man, beg and supplicatc and pray to
be excused and pardoned and forgiven
if, Mr. Chairman, Incither attempt nor
essay, nor yet endcavor, to speak or
talk upon this occasion or at this time
or in this presence; but that / may be
permitted and allowed, both ut this
time and upon this occasion, to be eX
cused and exempted from making,
manufacturing or constructing any re-
marks of any kind whatsoever, or from
uttering, delivering or giving voice to
any thoughts, cogitations predictions.
And. Mr.. Chairman, returning and eX-
tending my heartfelt thanks and good
wishes to YOU, Mr. Chairman, for calling
upon and requesting me to address this
honored and honorable aSsemblage of
honored and honorable gentlemen. |
: will now and at this time, with your
| kind and graceful permission, your in
diligence and your wcll-knOwn and
, universally recognized courtesy, re-
| sumo and retake the seat from which L
ought never to have arisen. and which
| ought never to have relinquished or
lei Again thanking you, Mr.. Chair
man, for the honor you have bestowed
upon and vouchsafed to one who was
never fitted to flourish in the luXuriant
fields of oratorv, | once more sink and
descend into the obscarity and insig-
nificance from which l ought never to
have emerged or ventured forth. "
This is oratory; this is eloq uence.
Copy this style of speaking, my son,
| and YOU will soon acquire name and
fame as public speaker
And to you, my daughter, have a
! word to say. Instead of simply say
, ing:
II saw Sue to-day, but she didn't
, have anything particular to say
Endeavor to cultivate that faculty OF
, diffusive particularly so uncommon to
, your sex, and deliver yourself in this
, wise:
i, Il saw Sue to-day-and. by the way,
: what Il taste she has in bonnets-oh!
! that reminds me of May Remington
= she's got lovely new wrap, and John
= Strut says-you know John; his sister
: married Charley Black-wonder what
she ever saw in Charley! I'm sure
never could endure him, he isn't q BIZ
q good-looking, and then he's so stlpit
= what was l going to say? o, yes
= John Strut; John says-oh, Belle! have
q you seen Johns new turnout? 1t il
!, awfully nice. was telling Kitty onl.
= last night-what Il queer girl Kitty is
II ell IL. as,l,s