The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-04-10
A JERSEY CYCLONE.
The Playful Zephyrs Which Make Jer.
seyman's Life Worth Living.

sey cyclone which at once appeals to
the sensibilities of the uninitiated. Dur
ing the prevalence of one of these lung
teasers, which visited our town with
out license or the services of an adj
vance agent, | occupied a position
where an uninterrupted view of the
proceedings could be maintained, as L
thought, without being crowded, or as
sailed by the peanut-shucks from the
gallery. 1 had read the prognostica-
tions of weather prophets from time to
time, and waited patiently for a rare
opportunity to occur, by which l could
visit Jersey and gather in few shares
of one of her boss cyclones.
This species of entertainment always
finds more patronage outside the home
circle than within. 1t is malignant
type of the outside show, which is by
far wilder than the widest wild West
show that was ever blown across the
area of our territory with a long-haired
leader. The average out-of-door per-
ennial show, which comes identified
with emblazoned fence-posters, can
usually be ''run off, under u canvas
covering something more than an acre
of corn-field; but you couldn't crowd
the after-attraction of one of these
March visitors into ten times that
amount of space. Free shows always
draw better than those which charge
an entrance-admission. This is why
the Jersey cyclone has been so success
full of late.
have been saved the pain and dis
honor of lawsuit with my hay-seed
neighbor by means which | know
Providence alone ordained specially to
serve my purpose. This man had con-
cluded last haying-time to economic
space by building a hay-rick against
my house in such a way as to obscure
the light from the best window | owned
While was on my way to consult a
lawyer about the matter, | saw the sky
taking on an olive-green tint; then the
dust rose up, squirmed about for a
while, and tried to settle down again.
So did try to settle down, but the cy-
clone caught and flung me against
rail-fence with great pfayfulness and L
had scarcely become disentangled from
the rails when l saw my neighbour
hay-rick sailing like balloon above
me, and, Notwithstanding my devotion
to gathering up my lost energies,
watched the great cone-shaped mass
vending its way across the inky hori-
zon and became happy. | heard, sew
eral days later, that it was still travel
ing in a south -easterly direction.
There is another cccentricity about
the Jersey cyclone: it makes itself its
own confidant. You never know it is
coming; but you may best expect it
when "Old Prob denies its approach.
l have had an experience of eight days
with this style of grand uncertainty, and
have been taught to realize that Il
cyclone is advancing when the sky as
sumes genuine bath-brick hue. This
is caused by the peculiar tint of the
Jersey soil, which, when it rises, gives
the sky this strange color. give you
the Tip" so that you will not think
you have struck a phenomenon when
you are caught unawares and throwa
within reach of the burliest bulldog in
town.
Washerwomen in our district have
become Respondent and morose of late
since the March zephyr can strip more
whole washes from their lines than
twice their number could hang out.
| This fact never became more painfully
apparent to me than when first advised
of shirt bearing the initials A. w. M.
having been found clinging to cur
rant-bush on farm in an adjoining
county. The loss of the shirt was not
Il 4
Our pet spaniel has not been home
for three days. He was last seen buck
| ing against the wind q mile away from
our friendly abode, having been car
ried off on the breeze while trying to
tree a cat. The cat has also disap-
peared, and it is believed she is still
clinging to the blizzard, and afraid to
drop off
WAS asked to give an estimate of how
fast the cyclone was travelling on one
Of its best days. Being somewhat ex-
| cited with the experience of the day
before, l replied, in an unguarded mo-
ment: Seventeen miles per minute
| This estimate was printed in the Daily
Visitor, the day following. as coming
from an authority. | felt torn up when
| SAW SUCH an ASSERTION. creulUcu TO me,
and was compelled to publish a contra
diction in the next issue to the effect
| that the wind at the time specified was
actually travelling thirty-eight miles per
second.
When you feel disposed to investi-
gate into the true inwardness of the
genuine Jersey cyclone, you want to
Danish from your mind all the preju-
dices caused by the often-told tales of
the Western blizzard, and settle down
for something worth your waste of
| vitality.
If you have punched sand-bags, and
spent years of hardship with the coast
| patrol, then you may feel inspired with
sufficient confidence to enable you to
| brace up to the occasion. Otherwise,
stay at home, and bury yourself against
! the cellar furnace, and listen to the
@olian rhapsodies, as they are waited
to your ear through the draft pipe ex-
tending to the chimney.
A Jersey cyclone is a splendid thing
to look at, noble thing to get mixed
up in, and one of tie most thorough
opponents of scientific rough-and-tum-
BILE humping that you ever came in
| nOntant with Aud hosiInc oil thic II