davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

especially wants to have at his back
the common people always the
bulwark of Englands institutions, and
now the really dominant element in her
elective system Mr.. Gladstone was
the mainstay of the silent revolution
Of 1896, which first gave the common
people" any material voice in their own
government; and ever since that time
he has been striving TO enlarge their
political privileges, antil to-day it is
the common people of England who
choose the members of the House OF
Commons, and who have reduced the
House of Lords to q merely ornamental
place in Legislative affairs. Upon this
class Of electors Gladstone can safely
depend, and the vlrulent abuse with
which the Tory organs assail him can
but add to his strength.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The political economists assembled In the
lower section of Congress may always be
relied upon to waste four hours in trying
TO save one.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

hours and 20 to striking after Juno II.
The political economists assembled In the
lower section of Congress may always be
relied upon to waste four hours in trying
TO save one.
The baker knows the knoad of the hour.
Upon bed OF anguish
Poor Jerry Murphy lay,
With friends and doctors near him
To see him pass away.
"Dear brothern said the preacher,
"You are about to start
Upon the dark, cold river,
Have you prepared your hearth"
"What's that you say2n groancd Jerry,
"About a river coldp
guess III not be starting
Until I've lost my hold.
Nor will ship by river,
Not much, dear friends ct al,
I'll sail into the Kingdom,
Per lIennepin Canal"
And that was years and years ago,
How time does slip awayl
And Jerry Murphy lives and moves,
A Congressman to-6ay.
The turnpike tollgate is the modern high
way robber.
"Do you think the world will ever come
to an end, mammal" asked little Sunday
school scholar of her mother.
"The Bible says so, my child" was the
pious reply.
ayes, but mamma, do you believe It will
come to an end ~ persisted the kid.
III certainly do, my child"
"Which end, mamma ~
The youngster was sent of to bed with
the conundrum unanswered.
Senator Eustis pronounces Italian as IL
spelled Eyetalian. The Senator must eye
thcr change his pronunciation or give his
authority.
Oh, subsIdize our steamship lines,
Our commerce to extend,
And thus enable owners to
Declare II dividend.
If Il Congressman or Senator wants q
nice penchblow tint on his nose, he can get
II by applying nice peach brandy In the
proper proportions. Ali what's thatI you
say. Internal applications Certainly.
What did you think peach brandy wasi
A linimenty
A Congressman went into restaurant
and ordered piece Of pie and n glass OF
milk, and the waiter went to fill the order
"Gimme one milk, one pie and a knife, >
he called out.
"Whafrur you want knife? Oats {
| Congress gem'man you's waitin' on, chile
| said the cook.
"Dat's all right, but gimme dat knife
Dis yer's only his fust term, an he's got {
| good deal to Parn yit."
'La me,' said Mrs. Parvenu, "thost
| Connecticut.avenue and K-street people
| may call themselves the nabobs Of the city
but lis Sixteenthstreet people are til,
na-Roberts, and we don't care who knows
| it,
| 1t is in the roller-rinks mostly that peo
pie can scarcely call their soles their own
Can the chorus girl who firts with til,
bald-headcd front row be said to waste he
sweetness ON the desert hair?
The naughty and imperious strawberr
should remember as 1t looks down from thu
lofty altitude Of its price upon the toilin
millions, that pride goeih before fall.
| >---
Give Us an Easier One.
EDITOR CRITIC Don't you think 1t
as fair Tor Republican son-in-law to hel
Democratic father-in-law POLITICALLY
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
GENERAL AND cRIrIcuLAR.

The sun is getting in little more time
each day now. II will begin to shorten
hours and 20 to striking after Juno 81.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The Times, speaking of Mr.. Plumb's sub
sldy amendment, says ut is hardly too
much TO say that indirectly it isa corrupt
measure, so obvious is its purpose TO take
money from the Treasury for the benefit of
a few persons known to have no intention or
the general public for the money thus given
them"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

Nor TO BE ouTDoNE by the work
ingmen, the House of Representatives
struck for six hours as days work
yesterday and carried the strike.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

n-SssDR. j. A. MCLEAN, Dentist,
s&S i4th aud l. sts., over Drug store,
First-class work at moderate prices Gold
manently attached TO roots. God-lined Rub
Der plates; satisfaction guaranteed. Gentle
treatment assured.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The Sun trusts THAT Mr.. Davis may live
long and enjoy the affection and respect of
his fellow citizens. We hold that he and
they-and he not more than they-committed
an enormous mistake; but we nevertheless
respect profoundly the purity of his char
acter, the spotless record of his personal his.
tory, and the ability and sincerity which he
applied, and still applies, to his work"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
FOR RENT.-.HOuSES,
~ =
EOR RENT

EOR RENT-By May 1, u 7-Rooin
no small children. 323 list st ) Q, near Capitol.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The Star says: There is profound truth
In the remark Of Governor Marmaduke Of
Missouri, to the effect that the strike on the
Missouri Pacific had been called off by the de-
mands of citizenship and commerce. Public
opinion controls in this country. Nothing can
stand up against it-neither corporations nor
labor organizations"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The 7ii5uae SAYS A-fhe hoycotters are to be
doGeuded ~ General Pryor. This Is right; the
question whether IT is or is not violation OF
law to conspire fog. the purpose of breaking up
mans business ought to be fairly and fully
tested in the courts. If the law does not
reach this oGense, It Is high time to have an.
ether law that does"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The World says "Ihe practical triumph of
the Western railway companies leaves the
cause of organized labor in far worse con-
dition than 1t was before the coercive action
was attempted and the lesson should not be
disregarded. 1t teaches that no strike of a
general character should ever be ordered un
til conference, arbitration and appeal have
all been exhausted"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

THE strike in the Southwest Is de.
clared Off. But what of the hundreds
of thousand of dollars that have been
lost to the spring trade and to the
wage-fund of the workingmen? They
are "oiG" also, impossible of restora-
tion. SO with the lives lost in the long
controversy; they are forever Off. The
whole affair Is in the nature of n pub.
lie calamity, for It Is not the immediate
participants alone who are out of
pocket. But common sense, after
many rebufTs and much tribulation, Is
moving toward the front at last, and
may We not hope it is coming to stay.
THE first day upon which the House
meets at II o'clock under the new rule
will be District of Columbia day, the
second Monday in the month. The
District Committee will therefore have
good opportunity to make up for lost
time. 1t will be the result of wocful
mismanagcmcnt If "A free bridge bill is
not passed, and there are many other
important matters that could be
promptly and readily disposed of If the
committee is energetic and makes good
use of its opportunity.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
For SALE...L0TS.

r OTIS FOR SALE-3 Fine Lots on L st.
~ Just west of N II ave, each elx97 IT, only
95c; also 63 II on north side of NJ st, near 25th
st W, only dOc. Apply to owner, room 4,
~
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

r7rs-wAsHINGToN SAFE DEPOSIT
Es99 COMPANY,
916 Penna. Ave. Northwest.
The Company will rent small private safes
IN Its new
FIRE AND BURGLAR-PRooF VAULTS
from So TO 500, according to size.
Silver Plate and articles of value may be
stored and insured for any length of time at
very reasonable charges.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The baker knows the kucad of the hour
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
SPECIAL NOTICES.
scys=FIRsT PAYMENT-1ITH ISSUE
EQUITABLE

COOPERATIVE BUILDING ASSOCIATION.
ASSETS APRIL 10, 1886, sOiS3i2.2i.
Monthly payments are g.. per share,
81 eco advanced ON each share.
Subscription for stock in the 1ith issue and
the Grst payment thereon can be made daly
from $3.50 n, m. to f.30 p. m, at the Office Of
the association 9l7 Il st, n. W., or at the next
regular meeting, May 3, 1885, o'clock p. M.
at National Rifles ArnQry, O., near 9th ST. n /.
W. Pamphlets explaining the object OF the
association, Its advantages, &C., furnished
upon application at the office,
THOMAS SOMERVILLE, President.
JNO JOY EDISON, Sec'y, 0i1 II street,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

The naughty and imperious strawberry
should remember as 1t looks down from the
lofty altitude of its price upon the toiling
millions, that pride goeih before fall.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS.

DOR SALE-Square Grand Piano,
II IA octave, perfectly new; best in the
city; cheap for cash. Apply at 1908 Goth st n W.
EOR RENT-An Excellent 7-Octave
II piano, only $40 per quarter. Inquire at
bol 11th ST,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

If a Congressman or Senator wants a
nice peachblow tint on his nose, he can get
II by applying nice peach brandy in the
proper proportions. Ali what's that? you
say. Internal application? Certainly.
What did you think peach brandy wasi
A linimentg
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

VNuE KIRMES.
i NEW NATIONAL THEATRE.
Thursday and Friday, May 13 and II, p IN to
2 II IN. The Tyrolean Flower, japanese
Minuet Swedish, Gypsy and Indian Dances,
represent the dances of the nations The
Flower ond Oriental Booths, the GYPSY. En-
campment and Lemonade Grotto with their
charming attendants, form brilliant tab
leaux on tho stage. Doors open at p
IN. Kirmes, 8 to Top m. Promenade Concert
and Ball, guests participating, 10 p IN to 2 q IN.
supper, 1870 p IN to 1880 m, in charge OF the
lady managers of the National Homeopathic
Hospital, Tickets 81, 81 and s., May be
obtained Of Metzerott Il Co., 9o3 Pa ave. and
the following ladies:
Mrs VIM Springer, geo y, j. avene,
Nine. Romero, l4lS X st.
Mrs. Chas. Nordhon, 1871 X st.
Mrs, G. W Pope, 1109 lith st.
Mrs. u. S. Verdi, Sl5 lfth st.
Mrs. Daniel Lamont, 202i q ST..
Mrs. Col. II. o. Mack, 2l93 II st,
Mrs. George n. leale, 20l5 y st.
Mrs. General Birnoy, 1901 liarowood ave,
lie Droit Park.
Mrs, S. A, Spencer, Lincoln Hall building,
9Th and ID SITS.
Tickets may be exchanged for reserved
seats at MetZerOtt's, 003 Pa. ave II W.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
LIVERY STABLES.

VF YOU Want To buy, Sell, Exchange,
or hire horses, carriages, harness, etc, go
to VIM. Il. Downey's stables, 1920 to 1874 l. ST;
repository, 1877 and 1920 l. st n W; none but
reliable stock handled; everything guaranteed
as represented. VIM. u. Downey,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

WASHINGTON LIGHT INFANTRY
w CORPS FAIR
OF YE oLDEN TIME
openeth under most auspicious circumstances
On ye I'd Easter Holiday,
MONDAY, APRIL YE 26TH,
And will continue unto May 18th.
YE REGIMENTAL HOUSE OF YE LIGHT
1NFANTRIE CORPS,
Under Mister Albaugh's Play House,
Better than a Circus,
More Instructive than iSchoole
Greater than ye LoadOne Fdires.
Ye Squire will honor ye Festivto with his
presence.
Ye White Elephant OF Burmah.
Ye Gallanty Show!
Ye Doctor Magnifcus Re,nanus Jagnus Con-
stdnHnopoA poAtanerdudcisdeksntelJer
Decorated and acknowledged as ye greatest
scholar and magicus of the age,
And Court Physician to ye Mighty Ham
Khann, Emperor of all ye Chinas.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04

CCIENTIFIC and Effective SparrIngs
The most beneficial of all exercises taught
by Prof. j. @. Collins at his residence, 706 I'd
st W. Lessons IN dumb-bell and Indian
club exercises also taught.
SHELDoN's MAY BALL, Masonic
- Temple May IL. Invitations at Academy,
1904 Il st. Glasses continue until last OF May.
NOR SALE-Old Newspapers for
II wrapping. Apply at counting-room OF
this paper.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
THE NEW YORK PRESS.

The Herd!d this morning says: I'VE do not
wish to hurry the present Senate Public
Lands Committee. but we beg It to remember
that the people are taking lively interest in
all phases Of the land question, and we hope
the committee will do itself the justice to re-
port the House Adjustment bill TO the Senate
and ask vote on it without unnecessary de-
lay. Delay in this matter might be misunder-
stood by the people"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
FOR SAlE-HOUSES.

EOR SALE-THE ALBION, III FT.
II FRONT ON WASHINGTON STREET,
GEORGETOWN, BY 110 FIT. DEEP.
CONTAINS 81 ROOMS, BESIDES A LARGE
THREE.STORY REAR BUILDING.
NOW PROFITABLY RENTED.
APPLY TO JOSEPH BARTON, ON TIE
PREMISES 1909 BOTH ST,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-04
PERSONAL.

WI ILL the Gentleman Who Sent Note
w by colored boy Saturday, bet and Z
O'Clock, To the lady on cor 9th and Il st3, call
for answer at Critic ofiicei ...u.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-30
Flight of the SparroWs.
From the Reading pa Times)

Within the last month or so the Eng
lish sparrOws have almost entirely disap-
peared from their haunts in Reading and
vicinity. Where recently thousands Of
these little busy, pugnacious, chipping
fellows have congregated there are scarce
ly any to be seen. The yards and gardens
and parks and streets are almost entirely
bare of them. They appear to have taken
umbrage at the hostility manifested
against them by the general public Of
late years, and at the laws passed by the
Legislature of a number of States. penn
sylvania among the rest) for their des-
truction, and to have winged their flight
to sections of country where they will be
better appreciated. It is also a note
worthy fact that since the departure of
the little scavengers the numerous insect
pests that prove so unsightly and destruc-
tive to our fruit trees and shrubbery have
largely increased in their rayages. The
nasty tent caterpillars are appeasing in
myriads, and are weaving their deadly
and unsightly webs in Que groves, or
chards and gardens. Not since the COM
ing of English sparrows, a score or more
Of years ago, have the fruit trees suffer
ed so much damage as they are doing
within few days or weeks of their de-
parfure.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-30

with all the strength of a six-week's va
cation. John tried to yell, but he
couldn't breath forsook him. He
tried to speak, but it was no go. The
big tears that rolled down his cheeks were
the only manifestations of his misery, but
they were enough to touch a heart of
stone. In about minute-to John it
seemed century-the lovely Miss Tyler
released her hold and gathered sever
al dozen strands of chestnut hair into a
knot.
mo, dear john" she said in her sweet
est way, II amt mad. I only wanted a
tuft of your lovely hair for a summer
souvenir. And now, dear John, suppose
we return"
Dear John obeyed without murmur.
They reached home, and that night at a
family council John issued his uitimatum,
Dad" said he. ''if there's any more
courtin' business to be done round here
you've got to do it. I've quit for good
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-30
AN INJURED WIFE.
Her Cruel Husband Would Not Give Her $500
a Month Pin Money.

Her Cruel Husband Would Not Give Her $500
a Month Pin Money.
Mrs. Minnie Macduff, the wife of Mr..
John S. Macduff, the diamond broker,was
a prisoner at Jefferson Market, yesterday,
says the New York World of Sept. 10,
charged with malicious mischief.
The couple have not lived together
since Thanksgiving Day, 1884, when Mrs.
Macduff shot Mr.. Macduff. After the bull
let was extricated Mr.. Macduff had it
mounted in gold, and now wears it as a
| charm on his watch chain. It bears this
| inscription:
Thanksgiving gift from my devoted
wife, Thanksgiving Day, 1884,
The reason she shot him was because
her husband would not give her $500 a
month pin money. Macduff left the
country as soon as he could so that he
would not have to appear against her.
She was subsequently discharged.
Since then Mr.. Macduff says he learned
that his wife had been married before she
! became his wife, to a man named Bosnia,
! who Is still alive and at present living in
Arizona. Divorce proceedings were be-
gun by Mr.. Macduff and the papers
served upon Mrs. Macduff, yesterday, by
| Counsellor Phil Hathaway, Macduff s
counsel.
Upon the 10Th of last month Mrs. Bos-
cha, as she is called in the affidavit against
her, in company with her mother, Mrs
! BOllas, it is alleged, visited Mr.. Macduff' S
Office. Mr.. Macduff had left the city, and
the Office was in charge of Col. James D.
Potter and an Office boy named Camp
bell. Mrs. Macduff, it is alleged, declared
tragically that she was Mrs. Macduff, and
began to wreck the Office. Col. Potter
| testified that he was in charge of the Of
flee when the two women entered. He
| became somewhat alarmed al the demon
STATIONS of the younger of the two wo-
men, who had said she was the wife Of
| Mr.. Macduff and had right to be there,
and she could do as she pleased. Mrs.
Macduf then proceeded to tear up all the
oil painting on the walls. Col. Potter
protested and called to her to stop. She
swept the ornaments off the mantels.
Col. Potter told the office boy to run for
a policeman; the boy went, but did not
return. The bric-a-brac was scattered
from the shelves and shattered upon the
floor.
Mrs. Macduff said yesterday, after hear
ing the testimony: II am Mrs. MacdUff
notwithstanding what is on that paper
| was married to Mr. Macduff, but now !
am living with my parents. 1 went to his
office 90 ask him to take my portrait
off the wall. The men in the offise told
me Mr.. Macduff and his wife were of
yachting. I proceeded to deface the por-
trait; my mother tried to prevent me and
there was scuffie."
Mr.. Macduff said he still feared the WON
an would shoot him. Her husband Boscha
in letter, Mr.. Macduff said, also alleged
that he was afraid of the woman and did
not wish to see her, as she would shoot
him.
Justice Smith committed Mrs. Macduff
to the island for six months, in default of
$500 bale to keep the peace. She was
dressed in a suit of thick gray wool cloth
and carried an umbrella with a heavy
solid gold handle. She was taken into
prison.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-30
A PASTORAL ROMANCE.
John Was Wiling to Do the Counting for tho
Farm Until He Met Lovely Miss
Lucinda Tyler.


Luclnut 1yief.
The Judge
Lovely Miss Lucinda Tyler went to
Farmer Hayseed's for the summer. The
object of her visit was to secure rest and
quiet. She decided to abstain from all
social excitement, and at first she sue
ceeded. After a while, however, her reso-
luton gradually gave way, and she found
herself INDUCING In pleasant little hirt-
alton with Farmer Hayseed's son, John.
John was good-loeking and accommo-
dating, and he did not object in the least
to the effects of the city girls fascina-
tions. In fact, he rather seemed to like
it, and when he got hold of her hand one
evening accidently, of course-and gave
it good squeeze, the affair developed in
to something serious.
OF course. Miss Tyler's affections were
not permanently disabled, but she sympa-
thized with the steady devotion OF her
admirer and encouraged him because she
like all other women fancied that sort of
thing. Even Eve left poor old Adam for
an hour or two to firt with that very in
sinuating gentleman known as Belize
bub.
Johns courtsh1p was placid and unre
hitting. Everything he could do for
with regret that he saw the end of Aug
ust approaching, for then she was : to
leave. He took her out riding. They
entered a loug, well-shaded, romantic
looking road, and almost before Miss
Tyler knew anything John exclaimed
with more or less emotion:
Il love you"
"This is very sudden she replied.
81 hone Won Amt mad abOut it -
"No; don't knoW''--and as she fall
tered his arm encircled her waist.
There was silence for minute or two,
and then pity got the better of the dear
girls feelings; and she said softly:
''John, l should think that you would
get tired of the monotony of you1 life
here"
Yes; it is kind O. tiresome some
times"
Tell me what you do.
''You won't get mad about it?'
Certainly not"
"Well, you know, we run this farm in
summer SOS to make enough to keep the
family the rest of the yea. Nam sees to
the cooking; pap tends to the work out
doors, and they make me do all the love-
making bus1ness?"
"The love making business"
Eyes; that's what it amounts to. Flirt
with the boarders, you know, and make
'em believe that they've made a mash.
First it was tough work-kind O. basdful,
you knoW-and the first summer | only
popped to two girls. The second sum-
mer got up to six. Last season 1 reach
ed dozen, and this year-but, say, you
amt mad about it, are your"
mo, dear John" and her head nestled
fondly on his shoulder. 'What pretty
hat you have! Let me hold it for you:
and, dear John, how fine and soft your
hair isl And she ran her fingers gently
through his chestnut locks. Presently
she put both hands up there, and after
getting good, tight hold, she pulled
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-30
Preferred the Thirty Days.
Chicago Herald,

II am getting tried of continuing this
case for want of an important witness, -
said the Judge, impatiently. eff Mrs
Barkins isn't in court this afternoon when
the case is called it will go to trial with
out her. Mr. Barkins, I shall expect you
to produce your wife at two o'clock in this
court"
"Me?" gasped Mr.. Barkins. Judge,
you don't know my wife. Produce her!'
And he groaned.
"I'd like to see any living man pro-
duce her if she didn't want to be pro
ducsd."
II shall send you to jail for thirty days
for contempt of court if you don't bring
her here and I'll settle with her after
warp" said Judge, sternly.
'Make out the mittimus, Judge said
Mr.. Barkins, shaking his head sadly
''You don't know her. Thirty days amt
nuthin'."