The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-04-24
Our National Custom.
Tenas Syiftings.
II an, oood for oil T drink >

Il am good tor all L drink.
'But all you drink is not good for
you
We heard this repartee the other day
in one of our fashionable up town bar
rooms. And as we sauntered down the
crowded street, with its numerous con-
vivialries, with their ruby lamps, twirl-
ing gas jets, variegated panes, and end
less other devices to catch the eye, the
colloquy set us thinking.
1t is an unfortunate thing for man
to be good for all he drinks. 1t would
often be better that his cash, or his
credit, were less, then perhaps all that
he drank would not be so bad for him,
since he would not drink so much.
Then we went on philosophising to
ourself, as we have often done before,
on this national custom of ours, of bar
room drinking and treating, and we
came to the old conclusion that 1t has
scarcely redeeming feature, if it has
one.
A stimulant may or may not be bene-
fetal now and then; doctors differ hon
estly on this point. But it certainly
can afford little or no solace or susie
nance, when accompanied by the fa-
tigue of standing bolt upright in front
of the bar.
But this fatigue would not be incur
red were it not for the abominable prac-
tice of treating.
Was there ever such an incOnvenient,
extravagant, pernicious custom known?
Bilkins is thirsty, or Bilkins may feel
desire for little bracer-up-or Bill
kins may feel craving for a glass of
whiskey. He only desires one glass,
that is all. He goes into bar-room;
there he finds Filkins.
Hello! old fellow, how are you?'
says Filkins.
so, so, says Bilkins.
They stand and talk few seconds.
Presently Bilkins says: well, what
will you take?'
Filkins replies, ooh, l don't know.
I've just taken a drink. Well, make
me brandy smash
Whilst the brandy smash is being pre-
pared, in walks Wilkins.
Hello! boys, you here? What's the
word? How're you been? Seen Stub
borns lately? How's the world using
you?'
Then Bilkins says:
Were just going to take drink;
what will you have?' To which Will
kins replied very much after the man.
ner of Filkins, as though it was quite
irksome to him, only that he does not
wish to be impolite.
'Well-w-e-l-l. What are you TAX
ing2'
Bilkins says, ooh, never mind; what
will you have?'
'Um-m-m,' says Wilkins. well, give
me little rye and ginger ale.
The drinks are served and gulped
down. Then Filkins goes through the
sWhat IL you haveP' Gwen tolerably
we'll bred, and we'll educated men slur
their words and drop into the vernacu-
lar in bar-rooms.) Bilkins, who only
wanted one glass of ale, tries to excuse
himself, but the devilish code of Amer
ican etiquette holds him fast. He must
allow Filkins the opportunity to recip-
rocate (accursed word.) So at last he
allows himself, for peace sake, to be
forced into taking another drink. He
feels that he has now just enough to
make him feel uncomfortable. Still
Wilkins must have his opportunity to
reciprocate, and poor Bilkins, after fu-
tile efforts to escape, has to go through
the ordeal with Wilkins. The result is
that instead of leaving that establish
ment refreshed, he goes out with sense
of oppression of both brain and stom-
ach. And this is treating, this is hos
pitality! And then in addition, though
this is the most trihing part of the mat
ter, Bilkins has to pay thirty-fve cents,
when his modest glass of ale, which was
really all ne wanted, woulu have only
cost five cents.
Let all treating be anathema!