Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-12-22
THE GOSSIPER.

siper yesterday, ''but after few days
search was fortunate enough to find room
and board with a Christian family. l ad
vertised for a place where there were mons
but members of the church, Methodist pre-
ferred, taken in and was assured that L hat
reached the haven of my desires observed
with Joy that the Lives of the Martyrs,
Pilgrims Progress 'Baxter's Saints Rest
and the New Testament, revised, occupied
prominent places on the center table III The
sitting room. and also that leading religious
Journals were scattered about. | felt almos
as if were at home, and wrote my gooc
mother in Massachusetts, to that effect.
Before breakfast yesterday | was intro
duced to a very sleek looking young man
who was dressed ID black and wore white
tie He appeared quite distant, and L took
him either for a preacher or a theo'
logical student. He successfully intro
duced me as the young brother who
had advertised for lodging and
sustenance in a family composed entirely OF
Christians and they all congratulated me on
my extraordinary luck in so soon finding a
home in wicked Wichita. l regretted to
note that my clerical appearing friend, who
sat at the head of the table, neglected to say
grace, and my faco began to burn when
three sharp-eyed women of middle age, who
sat opposite, began to laugh, and knew
they were whispering about ME. From the
first the conversation was of worldly ana
ungodlv character" continued The youth, as
he wiped the Sits in his head through which
his eyes blnked in watery way
How did you like the Black Hussar!' was
asked of one of the ladies
1T was dreadfuly thin, and was sorry
| went"
Danes voice down at the lecture" said an
other of the ladies, ''but after all his voice
wasn't as thin as the lecture itself. believe
he's a CHASTITY fraud and never saw bat
tlen
''Say, Swipes," said our boarder who was
shoveling his food in with his knife, "how
do you manage to pay S. each month on
four lots, pay s25 month for board, play
billiards every. night, and visit joint three
or four times day, when you only get s6Oa
month";"
Hello, Gully" said onethsr, addressing
my friend of the white tie, who had been in
troducet to me as Mr. Furgeson, "were you
such an Internal ass as to pay $3.50 for lots
away out nine miles from nowhere1"
you may just bet your carcass I was"
was the disgusting reply.
''Then you ought to be cut up by the fool
killer and used for catfish bait, was the
equally offensive answer.
II say, laddies." interrupted an old gray
headed man who had one foot in the grave
ard who had said nothing as yet, 'lets go to
the wrestling match to-nigh5. 1t will be
hill of good show"
The all said YES" and l went out leaving
my breakfast almost untasted. AS L passed
upstairs heard them shrieking and yelling
like lot of maniacs in the dining room.
| took my carpet-sack, slipped out as quickly
as possible and here am, and will stay at
this hotel for two or three days when think
will go home. l had paid weeks board
in advance, but they're welcome to it. L
wouldn't go back there for hundred dol
lars"
The wanderer from Yankee land then
mopped away some more moisture, but stub
bornly refused to indicate the locality where
he had evidently been made the victim Of a
lot of practical jokers. If he didn't know
much he. apparently knew when he had
enough.
Because man seldom comes into a dry
goods store only about holiday time, would
OBJ erved sprightly female clerk in Main
street establishment last evening. You see
there isn't a blessed one of them have any
fixed idea of what they want, and they are
as awkward and out of place as a fish in
birds nest In less than Ave minu es, if the
store happens to be filled with ladies, as is
generally the case, the persperation begins
to start and a handkerchief is brought into
requi,ition In three minutes more their
chief object in life is to to get out of there
and they will buy almost anything that is
high enough for their pocket-books. For
instance, Yesterday l sod to seven men
nearly $500 OF goods in an hour and was the
next half hour in selling lady two dollars
worth Many of the latter seem to take de-
light in Fostering us clerks during the very
busiest season, but we have to stand it as
they will lie in every week and we won't see
the men again tall this time next year"