davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-07-08

Ada Rehan writes to New York
friend that she has not yet had an of
fer Of marriage since she landed in
England.
Mrs. Mark Hopkins, the millionaire
widow, has for her factotum young
colored man, who manages much o.
her business and conducts part o.
her correspondence.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-07-08

Irishman (relating his exploits)-"I
walked up bouldly TO wan o. the ine-
my and cut off his legs with me
sword" Listener-"Why didn't you
cut Of his head?" Irishman-"That
was already off,"
When President Cleveland is writ
ing his veto Of the $1S,OOO,O0o river
ank harbor steal he should do it with
sledge-hammer No innocuous des-
uetude, il you please.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-07-08

Beautiful Mrs. Whitney, the Naval
Secresary's wife, has gone to Lenox to
escape the heat that has not come.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-07-08

Paul II. Hayne, the Southern poet,
is reported to be seriously i'll at home,
near Augusta, Georgia.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
A Husband Ont ShODDinr.

"You had better put them down on a
piece of paper" said Mrs. s., on giving
her first order. "Oh, no." said Mr. s.,
"my memory is good" swell, then, a
spool Of GO Coates black thread" "Yes."
"a yard of not too light and not too dark
Calico" "Yes.m "a small hammer, a
can Of peaches OF the Pasadena brand, a
dozen small pearl buttons, two yards OF
cardinal ribbon, silk on one side, satin on
the other" "Yes," said Mr.. s., thought
fully. "a pair Of slippers for baby, a
dozen lemons, good toothbrush, pine
apple, two ounces Of sky-blue German
yarn, an ounce vial of homeopathic nux
vomica pellets, a" swat a second"
said Mr.. s., counting on his fingers. "And
bottle Of vanilla extract and yard of
triple box-plaited crepe lisse ruching and
three yards Of small-checked nainsools
and" But Mr.. s. had seized his hat,
and was running for the station. What
the poor man brought home was yard of
bed-ticking, three yards of black crepe, a
bottle OF vinegar, eight yards Of nankeen, a
scrub brush, pound OF green yarn, 60
spoels Of coat thread, yard OF very black
calico, and pint bottle of homeopathic
pills. "There, my dear" throwing down
his package triumphantly, "I don't think
you'll find thing missing. Who says O
man can't do shopping?"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
NOTES AND GOSSIP,

THE incineration Of the remains OF DR..
Dio Lewis took place to-day at Fresh Pond,
J.. /.
JOHN KELLY's health is improving, and
he will spend the season with his family at
Far Rockaway.
GOVERNOR WETMoRE Of Rhode Island Is
to be inaugurated tomorrow and all New
port is fixing up for holiday.
CAppA's Seventh Regiment band is to
give Sunday and Wednesday afternoon
concerts at Central Park, New York, this
season.
THE benefit to be given Mrs. Bartley
Campbell by the Actors Fund Society and
Elks of New York will take place at the
Grand Opera House, Jnne 3.
Miss SToNEMAN, who has Just been ad-
mitted to the New York bar, is about 80
years Of age, and has been copyst OF law
papers for several years. One OF her
brothers is Judge Stoneman of Iowa and
one Of her sisters is the wife OF Judge Will
Jams of Buffalo.
TYPE-wRITERs are now made for the
French, German, Spanish, Bohemian, Rus
sian, Danish, Swedish, Portuguese and
Italian languages. The Chinese, with its
$4,000 characters, has not yet been tack
eed. No keyboard could represent the
Chinese characters SO as to be operated.
THE Hebrew Leader OF New York, the
Oldest newspaper OF that religious faith in
this country, and conducted In all its de-
partmepts with frst-class ability, was 3S
years OF age on Saturday, and celebrated
the anniversary with the enthusiasm beft-
ting q Journal OF such marked influence
and prosperity.
ACCORDING to late advices from Buffalo,
the will Of the late Colonel Folsom OF Fol-
somdale disposes Of about 100000 In eight
equal shares, naming the widows OF his two
sons and his six grandchildren. This will
was made In 1881 and is the only one known
Of. Whether, in view OF the distinguished
matrimonial honors that are alleged to be
waiting upon Miss frankie Folsom, who
was likewise grandfather's pet, any df-
ferent testament OF the property has since
been made in her special favor does not
yet appear.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
Honor Among Thieves.

A burglar was going through house in
Dakota town one night and discovered an
exceptionally large roll of money. Curious
to know whether he had broken into an
EDITORS house or that of some other variety
Of capitalist, he turned to the owner, who
had just awakened, and said:
"Excuse me, Colonel, but would like to
inquire how you came by such an unusually
large wad Of wealth
"Sir," replied the moneyed man, 81 am
member Of the Territorial Legislature"
"a thousand pardons !" exclaimed the
polite burglar, dropping the money. "Shake.
We never steal from members of the pro-
fession. Good night. Bell.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
A KNOT OF BLUE.


She hath no gems of lustre bright
TO sparkle In her hair;
No need hath she of borrowed light
To make her beauty fair.
Upon her shining locks ahoat
Are daisies wet with dew,
And peeping from her lssome throat
A little knot of blue.
A dainty knot OF blue,
A ribbon blithe of hue
II fills my dreams with sunny CLEANS,
That little knot of blue.
met her down the shadowed lane
Beneath the apple-tree,
The balmy blossoms fell like rain
Upon my love and me;
And what said or what did
That morn never knew,
But to my breast there came and hid
A little knot OF blue.
A little knot Of blue,
A loye-knot strong and true,
Twill hold my heart till life shall part,
That little knot Of blue.
-lsamuel Minturn Peck, in The Century,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
up. ". Nasby'sv Conversion.

Petroleum ', Nasby, otherwise known as
D. r. Locke, was recently elected alder
man in Toledo, o., on a Prohibition ticket
Mr.. Locke owes the distillers grudge.
Many years ago he took contract to
drink up all the whisky, but the dis
tillers meanly rung in a succession of new
crops ON him. He discovered the fraud,
threw up the contract and has carried the
remains Of his liver over to the temper
ance folks San Francisco Alta
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
WASHINGTON. MAY "a, 1885.

Tho Washington Critic has received In
the past several weeks and il now
daily receiving more than treble tho
number of new bona flde subscribers
OF any other daily paper published In
Washington, and In excess of all the
other daily papers here added to-
gether. Our subscription books are
open to the inspection OF all persons
Interested.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
OUR NATIONAL DEEENSES.

The Nipsic having made a success.
full voyage from South America to
New York, Congress, in all proba.
bility, will hardly think 1t worth while
to do much of anything more towards
building up new navy. At least 1t
begins to look that way. In the esti-
nation of many statesmen our navy is
well enough as 1t is. As for coast dc.
fenses, what's the use of them so long
MS we are at peace with all the
world
This optimistic view of the situation
speaks well for the confidence of Con.
gress in the ability of the State Depart
ment TO keep the country free of danger
Gus foreign complications; and it also
argues happy faculty of worming out
of disagreeable entanglcments on the
part of the American people. The
theory that such will always be the
condition of affairs and that emergen-
cies will never arise in which the
United States will feel the need Of some
further protection against invasion
than the Nipsic and Fort Foote, is,
however, somewhat strained and I'M
tenable.
OF course, as long as we stand ready
to submit the arbitation of our differ
ences with England to the British Min.
lister, and Of our Misunderstanding
with China to the Chinese Minister,
and our fallings out with Bismarck to
the German Minister, and so on, there
is no particular danger. In fact, it
would be quite as well to disband the
army altogether and call in the rest of
the navy to be condemned with the
Powhatan.
But there are indications that Mr.
Clevcland's administration is to have q
foreign policy of its own as far from
the dilettante diplomacy of its prede-
cessor on the one hand as from the
jingoism Of Mr.. Blaine on the other
The letter of Secretary Bayard to
Senator Frye gives abundant evidence
of this. 1t shows conclusively that the
Government, instead of being mapping
all this time, has been very diligent and
active in asserting the rights of Ameri-
can fishermen in Canadian waters, and
that the honor of the country will be
safe in Its hands. 1t is fair to assume
that in all its foreign relations the
Administration will be found equally
alive to It's duty and careful in main
tanning the interests of the people
whom it represents.
But Congress should understand thai
the vigorous foreign policy thus fore
shadowed may some of these days need
vigorous backing up both by land and
sea. The Executive branch of the
Government must be supported by the
Legislative, or the people will know
where the responsibility belongs in case
the navy is ever called on and is found
wanting. This is matter of too much
consequence to be slurred over and
dilly-dallied with. The reconstruction
of the navy upon liberal scale and til,
question of coast defences overtop II
Importance all others now before Con
gress.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

The story now is that Mr.. Blaine has
given up the idea of seeking renom-
ination for the Presidency, and desires
to run for Secretary of State in John
Sherman's Cabinet. This sounds like
q Canadian fish story.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

THE city of Springfield, Mass, will
devote tomorrow and next day to q
celebration of Its 250th anniversary, yet
President Cleveland, somehow or other,
cannot be made to believe that the
town is old enough to be port of entry.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

DIR. BELLS discovery of voice in
the water can be used as temperance
campaign document, and may be con-
sidered as Presidential boom for SEN
ator Coluuitt.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

ALL of the leading citizens of Tomb.
stone, Arizona, have petitioned Con.
gress to pass the bill introduced by Mr..
Bean, which provides for the Offering
of reward for the bloody Geronimo,
dead or alive. There would seem to be
no objection to the passage of the BILL
but on the contrary, many strong argu-
ments in its favor.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

The CRITICS original suggestion for
q Government bridge across the Poto.
mac seems not to have been wasted on
the desert air. Mr.. Sherman's resolu-
tion introduced and adopted in the
Senate to day provides for report and
estimates by the Secretary of War.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
kuCTlnM SALES.
rI,RUsTEIs' SALE OF NO. 1907
MARION STREET

BY virtue Of deed of trust. dated Novem-
her %, 1893, and recorded In Liber 1889, folio
2e4, ct seq, one OF the land records of the Dis
trict Of Columbia. and at the request of the
auction in front of the premises, ON MON.
DAY, the cath day Of May, A. u. 1886, at 5
o'clock y. M, lot 1G1 IN W. H. Partollo's SUB.
division Of square di5, improved by two
story brick dwelling.
Terms: One.third cash within days Of sale
and balance In O, i2 and IL months, with inter
est; 500 deposit at time OF sale. Convey
ancng at purchasers cost IL terms of sale
are not complied with In seven days, trustees
will resell at risk and cost of deIaulting pur-
chaser.
WATSON ]. NEWTON, $40 + ST..
Il. A. MCINTYRE, 0iS r vt,
Trustees.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

COLONEL GEORGE w. HOOKER of
Vermont says of Senator Edmunds
that he is "the greatest statesman in
America, contemporary with Gladstone
and Bismarck" The ex-Sergeant.at-
Arms of the House is nothing If not
loyal, but certainly no one can dispute
the latter half of his proposition, that
the Vermont Senator is contemporary
with Bismarck and Gladstone. Jedge
Waxem enjoys the same honor.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

IT is stated by the New York Herald
that in some of the wards Of that city
there is n population of 200, 900 people
to the square mile, which is consider.
ably more than in the worst districts Of
London. The difficulty of enforcing
proper sanitary regulations among
human beings thus unwholesomcly
packed together can be readily under.
stood. The difficulty is as great as the
necessity. That the health authorities
are able to cope with 1t as successfully
MS they do is constant wonder and
speaks we'll for the progress of sanitary
science.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

THE Chicago Mail notes as one re.
suit of the recent Anarchist outbreak
in that city, the abandonment of red
as an advertising color. A baker, who
had made hit out of his red-hag pla-
cards, changed from red to blue the
morning after the Haymarket explo.
sion. A tobacco man, who iloated
red flag, hauled 1t down and ran up the
stars and stripes. Red is no longer
popular color in Chicago bunting, or
with Chicago bill.posters. Although
the Anarchists, however, have taken in
their sign, 1t is not so certain that they
have gone entirely out of business.
They will still bear watching, not only
in Chicago, but everywhere else.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
THOS. DOWLlNG. Auctl0neer.
DY THOs. j. FISHER & CO.,
ID Real Estate Auct,oneers

Il THUS. !. flshEIt N wv,
ID Real Estate Auct'oneers.
TRUSTEES SALE OF VALUABLE REAL
ESTATE. FRONTING PARTLY ON NEW
YORK AVENUE AND PARTLY ON FOUR
TEENTI STREET NORTHWEST.
by virtue of decree Of the Supreme Court
OF the District Of Columbia, passed In equity
cause No 2313 In pursuance OF tho mandate
and order Of the supreme Court OF the United
States, will sell In front of the premises, ON
the 2STH DAY OF MAY, 1886, at 3 O'Clock p.
m, all that certain piece or parcel OF ground;
situate In the city of Washington, District OF
Columbia, and known and described on the
plat o ( said city as all of lot numbered seven
"a, In square numbered two hundred and
twenty.three (asD, outside of and except that
part thereof upon which the building known
Terms of sale: One-third OF the purchase
money to be paid at the time Of the sale, and
the remaining two.thirds in equal payments
In one and two years after the date of said
sale, the deferred payments to bear six per
cent interest per annum, and TO be secured
TO the satisfaction of said trustee. A deposit
of two hundred dollars required at the time
of sale. Conveyancing at the cost of pur.
chaser. Terms OF sale to be complied with in
ten days from day OF sale, otherwise trustee
reserves the right to resell the property at the
risk and cost OF the defaulting purchaser,
after five days public notice of such resale In
some newspaper published In Washington,
ID. Q.
Trustee.
THos. j. FISHER & co,
Auctfoneers,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
PROPOSALS.
FOR GENERAL SUP
l. PLIES FOR THE DISTRICT OF CO.
LUMBIA.

LUMBIA.
OFFICE OF THE ENGINEER COMMISSIONER.
WAsBiNGToN, ID. c., May 20, 1896.
by direction OF the Board OF Commissioners
sealed proposals will be received at this Office
until ~ o'clock m. on THURSDAY, June 10,
1886 for furnishing the various branches of the
District Government with general supplies,
Printing, School Books, Furniture. Hardware,
Tinware and Street Lamps. Plumbers Mate
rials, Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Drugs,
Glass, Paints and Varnishes, Lumber, For
ment and Lime, Construction Material and
Telephone Supplies.
Blank forms and proposals, together with
all information, can he obtained upon appli-
cation at Room II, Columbia Building. Four
nd.a.half street northwest.
The right is reserved to reject any and all
bids or parts OF bids.
WILLIAM LUDLOW,
Enninner Com. ID. @.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

Secretary Bayard having characterized
Canadian interference with Yankee fishing
expeditions as ga gross breach of CONNER
cial rights" the Canucks will please cut
bait while we sit on the bank and fish. We
are II Nation with big end.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

DR.. Chichester A. Bells reported new dis
oovery Of photographing conversation or
utierances of the human voice from It's re.
corded impressions on gurgling fluids, will
prove spirited tout ensemble when applied
to the Kentucky beverage.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

R Insurance Company, 1910 r st W,
Washington, d. @. Capital stock, 10000.
Small lines written.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

the war broke out he was the first man
in his district TO step into the ranks
as private soldier. His subsequent
career in the army was full of honor,
and he came out of the war brigadier-
general. For some years afterward he
resided in Washington, and on return.
ing to Ohio became an active Demo
cratic partisan, frequently denying his
own just claims to recognition that the
harmony of the party might be promoted
His life was full of sacrifices thus made
md in his later years he came fully to
understand the ingratitude and mercen-
ary sclflshness of an organization that
he was so well qualified 10 lead. Ho
was truly one of the Old Guard-in'
corrup,ible, fearless and sincere.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

THE Memorial day services at the
tomb of General Grant are to be on an
elaborate scale, and will possess many
interesting features. The committee
in charge of the arrangements asked
each State to send something to be
placed on the tomb, md all except New
Jersey have responded. These tributes
consist of plants and wreaths and will
doubtless make very interesting col
lection. The services will be attended
by the President, several Members of
the Cabinet and large number of
other prominent people,
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
GENERALANn cMirIcuLAR.


GENERAL AND CwirICULAR
"Dinuer IN cdric'" said the waiter to a
raw Congressman in a restaurant.
"Of course not. I'm no hog. Wheel
barrow loads enough for me-" replied the
Statesman as he began tucking his napkin
under his chin.
She belonged to the ephemerdi formis OF
Washington society, and went over to New
York to the opera. "Maritana" was billed
for that night, and after she had fixed her
self in her box she picked up a libretto.
"Good gracious" she exclaimed, gazing
at the title.
"What is ~" inquired her alarmed escort
"Why, the name Of this play is Maria
Tanner and | used to know girl by that
same name out West long before was mar
ricd. | wonder II It can be the same oneS"
Her escort thought 1t was hardly probable.
Hair is the charity OF the animal king
dom--it covcrcth multitude Of skins.
When girl changes beaus does she re-
new her youth p Burlington Free Press.
1t depends upon the age OF the next man.
"No more making love to the girls for
me-" said young fellow when he got mar
ried. "rm tete tsetotaler after this"
A new book Is out, "Through the Year
with the Poets" This volume Is narra-
ton Of suffering, beside which Fox's Book
of Martyrs is delicious reading for pleasant
afternoon.
The whole front, back and sides OF the
Weather Bureau seemed to have fallen out
Saturday night and tumbled down stairs.
Suppose We annex Canada and stop the
fishery row.
The editors Of Texas are on their way
East In body. Geronimo being unavold-
ably absent, sends his regrets. Great ex-
element prevails.
A CoRgressman's daughter had been re.
ceiving young mans attentions until the
father thought II was time he was knowing
something about 1t.
"Celestine," he said last night when the
young man was announced, "isn't II about
time some definite conclusion was being ar
rived at In this matter ~
"Quite time, papa" she replied In mat
ter-of-fact way.
swell, daughter, is there any prospect Of
conclusion ~
~ can't say, really, papa. You see 1t is
on the calendar us unfinished business,
and"
"Enough, daughter, enough" he inter-
rupted, putting up his hands, and the girl
went down stairs 10 complete the quorum.
"Daniel," remarked the President satur-
day morning.
"Yes, sire," responded Daniel.
"Governor Long is to be married up In
Massachusetts, to-day, isn't hes'
"Yes, SIRE"
GAS fellow suff-I mean as fellow
citizen, should send him message Of
condo-confound 1t, 1 mean congratula-
tion, shouldn't /, Daniel9".
at would be appropriate, SIRE"
"What shall say to him, Dauiel9"
"AnythiDg pleasant, and cheerful sire,
will do.n
"Thank YOU, Daniel. Write this: lfori-
t,ri tc Sdlutamus.' That's touching and
sympathetic, Daniel, and being Latin, will
harmonize beautifully with the highly cul-
tured condition of his Massachusetts, sur
roundings, won't it'"
"Yes, sire." And Daniel wrote 1t and
sent it to the Governor that very hour.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

" 20
LOANS.
In sums to suit at per cent.
The above Is only small portion OF prop
erty on my books. For full fist call at office
for bulletins issued on LIST and 18th.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

THE question now agitating the
local politics of New York is who shall
be vice president Of the Common Coun-
Gil and Alderman from the Fifth As
sembly District, to succeed Mr. Jachne,
temporarily removed to Sing Sing. Mr..
Jaehne was what is known as a County
Democrat, and the combination which
has resulted so disastrously was be-
tween County Democrats and Republi-
cans. Tammany was not in the deal.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
BELMONT HALL,

SCHooLEY'S MOUNTAIN SPRINGS, N. J.
This beautifully located family summer re-
sort will be open from June to October. For
circular and particlars address
ID. A. CI{OWELL, Proprietor
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

POSSIBLY Mr.. Wilber's compound
testimony in the Pan Electric investiga.
,ion was the result of the new dis.
covery by the Bells. 1t would be an
easy thing to photograph Mr.. Wilber's
mental processes and confront him
with the truth, however much ne
might desire to lie. Now all that is
necessary is to invent machine which
will distinguish truth from falsehood
and the world will be thousand years
ahead at one step.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

GENERAL DURBIN WARD, who died
at Lebanon. Ohio, on Saturday, was a
historic character, though much too
firmly set in his honest ways to be a sue.
cessfu politician. More than forty
years ago he was the law partner Of Tom
Corwin. He was Douglas Democrat
OF the most pronounced order. and when
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
REAL ESTATE.
FOR RENT-.-HOUSES.

EOR RENTS II Month - 3-RoOm
Il brick house with large yard; side alley;
No 413 5th st 8 Q; newly painted. Apply at
3l5 A st ne.
EOR RENT-Furnished House 1908
Il Est, from June to october 1; S45 per
month
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

"No more making love to the girls for
me-" said young fellow when he got mar
ried. "l'm tttc a tectotaler after this"
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

A new book is out, "Through the Year
with the Poets" This volume Is a narra-
tion OF suffering, beside which Fox's Book
of Martyrs is delicious reading for a pleasant
afternoon.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24
RDA O A Il ID

wA oAHn
To all who are suffering from the errors and
indlscretions of youth, nervous weakness,
early decay, loss Of manhood, &C.. will send
recipe that will cure you FREE OF CHARGE.
This great remedy was discovered by mis-
sionary in South America. Send self.ad-
dressed envelope to the Rev. Jos. T. Inman,
Station d, New York CITY.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

When girl changes beaus does she re-
new her youth hY--[Burlington Free Press.
1t depends upon the age OF the next man.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

THE officers of the Washington Gas.
light Company admit that the books of
the company for the first eighteen
years of its existence were kept so
badly that they were found to be Of no
use and were sold for old Junk. So
that all anybody knows of the history
of these eighteen years is entirely
matter of tradition. II will strike the
ordinary business mind that the COM
pany furnishes in itself the most
cogent and conclusive argument that
has yet been adduced for legislating it
out of existence and turning over its
affairs to bureau which shall com.
prise expert bookkeepers as well as ex.
pert gas-makers.
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

The editors Of Texas are on their way
East In body. Geroniiao being unavoid-
ably absent, sends his regrets. Great ex-
citement prevails
The Washington critic., 1886-05-24

Hair is the charity Of the animal king
dom--it covereth multitude Of skins.