Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-09-30
SICK.

Sea-sickness, hay fever and the gout are
the three most fashionable diseases, but gout
is the siekest.-New York Journal,
"Of all okepations in life take me pick, u
said the Irishman, as he stepped down into
the editch.-Burlington Free Press.
A poet sings, Chow shall I paint my
sweetheart" If she's black paint her white,
by all means.-Rochester Post-Express.
At the rate at which disintegration is pro
ceeding the obelisk of On in New York Cen
trail Park will soon be the obelisk of Off
Boston Post.
The bleeding heart which was found hang
ing from the springs of a car that arrived in
New Haven yesterday was probably beating
its way-Washington Critic.
A Missouri burglar, while attempting to
enter house, had his lower jaw shot off.
A local paper in describing the affair said
the victim "resolutely refused to talk
The three great parties in this country to-
day are the Republican, the Democratic and
the s'Unele Toms Cabin" combination, and
the greatest of these, numerically, is the U.
T. C.-Burdette.
"What is the greatest work of creations''
asked the teacher; and Little Johnny, whose
mind was still full of the Odd Fellows
parade, promptly responded, "The drum
major. Boston Transcript.
Things One Would Rather Have Left I'm
said-She-"And you are really better, pro-
fessor, since you came to live IN Hamp-
stead?' He-''Oh, yes, different man al
together" She-"How pleased all your
friends will bel"-Punch
General Guitar is running for Congress in
Missouri and Fiddler Taylor is after the
Governors chair in Tennessee We trust
that General Drum will step forward, if he
wants anything, and let us have concert of
action-Macon (Ga) Telegraph
Wiggins of Ottawa bases his direful pre-
dictions upon the conjunction of the planets,
and an t'invisible moon" that he had "dis-
covered" There isn't much stock taken in
him because he doesn't weigh his words as
carefully as he Ottawa them.-Philadelph
Call.
Some visitors went into store in Port
land. Me-, kept by German woman, and
called for whiskey. She said she could not
sell any, and then whispered to one of them,
even you wants fsky you must call for vine,
andt pinch nit one eye."-New York Saloon
Journal.
One for her-Artless little thing (proud of
her linguistic acquirements)- do hope
you didn't catch what I was saying just now
to Mrs. Simpson, Signor Gavanti. We We're
talking scandal-in italian. I had no idea
you were SO close. Could you hearf Sig
nor Gavanti-''Yes, I could ear; but it is
all Alright. did not know you were speak
| ing my language. Judy.
The father of the family in threatening
| attitude theughtfully trimming the larger
knots of nice long birchen rod. Before
| him, trembling, his darling son, never dear
er than now, in his twelfth year and but
| recently in mischief. The son, breaking the
silence, which had become painfully embar-
| RAISING, speaks, "Father, the preachers in
the parlor talking to sister Sophia about
| joining the church, the baby's sound asleep
and mammals lying down with headache
Can't we compromise this thing some way
| for the sake of harmony within the party?
| And white-winged peace stole softly into thai
| room and folding her snowy pinions sal
down on hassock as though she intended te
| stay there until she Matched out Turkish
| lounge