The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-19
RUNNING A FURNACE.
How MIR. Jones Managed to Keep Warn
while His Family siiivered.

s;gSith Homes H Wis sjopested 10 Jones
/, H. G,st ,,iooa lv +ho n,on who said
III ''ie ni'o Piaoo ~ ~ Ni''ii ~.
'he .uiiaoo' ouo oono' Ao.i.oa '.
oplnlon as sort Oh cirohlo .hroWn IN
with the furnace, and utilized 1t as
though 1t were his own property, as in.
Heed If was..
Iiho f,ist ti,;,a dial .To,IIas attan,n+ad tG
-, - f,.,,,,ss s. ~;
puiiu hie ~ n,e no" i.'i iis'oo' ~ ~
ceeded admlfapiy IN making roorihg
blaze with the kindlings, in blackening |
his hands and face and transmitting
himself into the semblance of burnt |
cork serenader of the Megatherium or
Senegalfibiaii variety, aiid in driving
tile family incontinently from the house
by that peculiarly pungent odor which
is sent forth by heated stoye-polish fresh
from the shop; but he was not SO sue
cessful in accomplishing fire.
The kindlings behaved in most
praiseworthy manner, allowing them
selves to be consumed to the uttermost
splinter, but they failed mserably IN
transferring tlfeir warmth to the coal
which Jones had very Literally shoveled
atop of them. In fact, when the flames
had finished the kindlings, they appeared
to have cohsidered their part OF the con-
tract completed, and unceremoniously
went about their business elsewhere.
Then Jones proceeded to fill his hair
and cover his clothing with dust by
means of the shaker, which the dealer
had assured Jones could be operated
without raising sufficient dust to soil a
| lady's pocket t-handl1erchief Unfortun-
ately, Jones did not have a lady's pocket
| handkerchief with him at the time, or
he would, perhaps, have demonstrated
to the world that whereas this shaker
might be somewhat careless in regard to
the person and clothing of u great horrid
man, it was eminently punctilious in its
regard for the pocket-handkerchief OF
the fair sex.
But. however it might have been with
the supposititious handkerchief afore.
said. titere co,i1d be no do,,bt fbout
the possibilities of that shakef iii the
tlust-raising line SO far as Jones and
his environment were concerned. The
dust.not only covered his exterior, but
his ears and nose and mouth were
crowded with it. His teeth were as
full of grit as game cock, and at
every inhalation the carboniferous de-
posits in his lungs grew more dense.
Jones got the thing cleaned out at
last, but Ills natural beauty was not inn
proved by the experience. He had
perspired plentifully, what with the
heat of his own exertions added to
the artificial heat which the kindlings
had created iii the furnace (iot e
speak Of the temperature his temper had
acquired by this time), and the dirty
streams which constantly flowed adown
his face on to his linen did not add tc
the cleanliness of his appearance.
Then he filled her up again anG
touched her off. 1t was all right this
time, and in less than u half-hour every
window in the house had to be opened
to prevent its occupants from slow bu
certain cremation. But that was no
the fault of the furnace. 1t was al
owing to the weather being so unseason
ably warm. "Wait until we have col,
day. said Jones.
/ Well, next day it was cold enough tt
! suit an arctic adventurcr.
"Now," said Jones, well show 'en
how to keep warmn' And as he SHOW
eled in the coal-it is remarkable ho,
much coal u furnace can get away wit
when its appetite is all right-h
chuckled to himself as he thought hoy
snug and warm he should be, Will
I Thompson's folks, across the way
| would be shivcring like slack sail in
! gale of wind
By this time Jones had roarin
1 fire. sThat'll do, he said with glo'
: of satisfaction irradiating his features
9 "that'll do.n Then he went, upstairs
l to find Mrs. Jones and the children hue
: died about the register, looking MOI
: like the family of Harry Gill of chatte
3 ing memory, than the wife and Of
!. spring of John Jones, owner OF nc
+ and improved furnace
s And they continued to chatter, no
: withstanding Jones did little else all d;
Q long than to pile the anthracite into Il
: greedy maw of that furnace He open,
i the. cold-air box, he shut the cold-a
y box, he shut this damper and opened til
g check draft; Heaven knows what
L didn't do. But it was no use. The 6
II mosphere above the cellar floor W
II not happy-not so happy, perhaps,
s. the Thompsons, across the way, WI
IS circled about their red-faccd stove, al
o quite forgot to shiver; nor so comfol
it able as the sparrows on the Gimme
If top, for there seemed to be no lack
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