davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-11-24

A GALE in Pennsylvania Thursday did
extensive damage.
A GREAT coal deposit has been discovered
at Mt. Vernon, Ill.
A NUMBER of marine disasters occurred
ON the great lakes Thursday.
A SUMMER hotel near Liberty, n. Y, was
destroyed by a gale Thursday.
THE death of ex-Congressman Hoard at
Ceredo, W. Va, is announced.
Two large clothing houses in Cincinnati
were burned Saturday. loss, 100000.
AT Hartford, Conn, Thursday, many
buildings were unroofed by high wind
WESTERN Iowa and southern Dakota re-
port the worst snow-storm for ten years.
Two Pullman sleeping cars, part of the
Grand Trunk and Western express were
burned to the trucks Friday near Kingston.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

She was a young woman in Washington
for the season, and was very fond Of narrat-
ing her conquests and speaking of her powers
over men.
He was a bachelor with a heart Of stone
and a cheek Of cast iron.
They were talking OF love and matrimony
and cognate subjects.
I've been engaged six weeks, Mr. k she
said, with refreshing candor in view of the
fact that the announcement had appeared
in the society news the next day after the
proposal.
"Ahf" he said, with a rosebud smile
wreathed around an interrogation point
How charming"
Delightful, Mr.. X" she continued,
radiantly He was all old friend of our
family, and he was so persistent How long
do you think | kept the poor, dear fellow
waiting for his answer" and she giggled a
real swell giggle.
"Um-um," be cogitated, as If calculating
an equation Of time between Il sun dial and
Waterbury watch. "Um-well, | should
say about a minute and half; possibly two
minutes"
There was an abrupt termination TO the
conversation, and the brute was left alone in
the alcove where they had been talking
WashingtoB Critic.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

Sir William tod US the following delicious
tale Of simple unreasonIng faith in quacks: An
elderly man consulted him about stomach
complaints, but there was a formidable OBJ
stacle to diagnosis in the patient being born
deaf What do you have for dinner9'
roared Sir William into his right rug "Oh,
no." was the reply, plenty Of that-two
miles regularly after breakfast, and two
more before dinner" How long do YOU lie
nbed of morning!' well, doctor, shall
be ~ this day three weeks" Without fur
ther parley the doctor gave him some simple
prescription, the form rnd manuscript of
which he seemed much to admire for little; I;
and then, offering his fee, he retired But at
the door he turned round, and, in the loud
rattling tones Of one long very deaf, called
out, Doctor, can you cure deafneSsr Sir
William bowed, shook his head and made
his lips express No" Il thought so. You
have been very kind TO me, therefore | make
YOU welcome to this prescription" which he
pulled from his pocket, adding, at cured
me."-Pall Mall Gazette.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
KNOCKED OUT.
q Tale Of Pure Modern Nsrcenary
Love.


Love.
CHAPTER T.
It was -v-ning In the home Of Farnestine
McGoozlam, and it was also evening in the
homes Of her neighbOrs for several miles
around
Earnestine was waiting for the arrival Of
Col DAubignac, who, in the vocabulary of
the race track. for ne once owned a horse
was aged, that is to say, gentle reader he
was past 5 years old Indeed, he was about
A years old and forty seven weeks past it.
but of that more anon.
Finally he came.
When the colonel came in he at once lro-
ceeded to business
Dearest Earnie, he remarked, with pa
thetic sweetness, Am to have my answer
TO night-The answer that will make me
the happiest man in Pittsburg, Allegheny
county, Pa 2"
You are TO have your answer, colonel
she replied, disengaging her hand, but
can't say how happy it will make you"
Nor can any tongue express il, he said
slapping his hand on his heart with the vehe-
ment emphasis Of a trip hammer dropping on
a wad of red-hot iron. Tell it me- he con-
tinued, tell il mel"
You talk ike a three-dollar a week Romeo
on the variety stage, but III let you have it,"
she said 1t is this: Il cannot marry YOU.
You are not wealthy. Your pension is only
81 month. | am not wealthy, and | have
no pension am my mothers sole support,
and the $1,000 she has in real estate gives
us comfortable living without work. |
shall marry wealthy man, who is twenty
years younger than you are and ten years
older than am He has promised to give
my mother beautiful home and large in
come, and we shall be very, very happy"
The colonel sat as one dazed.
Then he got up and groped around for his
hat.
"Au revoir," he said as he went out.
"Why did he not say adieu," inquired the
girl of herself. without eliciting u satisfac-
tory answer.
Reader, can you guess why the colonel said
au revOiri
You shall be told in the last chapter.
CHAPTER ".
For two long and happy years Earnestine
did not see anything of Col. D'Aubignac 1t
was summer, and her mother had gone to
Sewickley beach for the season. One day a
letter came from Earnestine's mother 1t
was brief and TO the point 1t said simply:
Il was married to-day, and myself and hus-
band will be at home at once. Have my
house opened and aired
CHAPTER v.
Earnestine was rather pleased, because she
had noticed that her mother was getting
i 4. 1. A.
she could not bear the thought Of her being
unhappy.
CHAPTER VI.
She waited for her mother at the train.
She came and with her her husband
When Earnestine saw him she tainted
II was Col D'Aubignac.
As a marryer lie had knocked Earnestine
clean out.-W. J. hampton in It'd Bits
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
Mr.. AND MRS. eoWSER.
Mrs. Bowser's Warning to Young Womer
Contemplating Marriage.

Mrs. Bowser's Warning to Young Women
Contemplating Marriage.
And there are othei things about Mr..
Bowser which the public ought to know, and
which am determined to hold up as solemn
warning to such young women as may be
thinking Of marriage.
For one thing, Bowser doesn't treat the
baby right For the first few weeks he made
great fuss over il, and one little squeal at
midnight would bounce him out of bed,
ready to go for a doctor, without taking time
to pull his boots on Alasl what a changel
The other night poor baby had the collie or
some other ailment, and it cried steadily
from II to - without Bowser moving an eye
lid Then | reused him up TO build fire
and make a peppermint sling, and even be-
fore he got out of bed he said "thunder!" and
called the baby a thing" demonstrated
certainly did-and he turned on me with:
Il know what the young 'un needs! He
wants knocking down with crowbar three
or four times TO take the ugly out of him!"
I've lived with Bowser a good many years,
but never knew him in his true light until
that night He went off down stars, built a
roaring fire, heated the tea kettle full of
water, and he brought that up in one hand,
the sugar box in the other, and the pepper
mint in his pocket, and sat them Gown on
the floor, and said:
There, now, either cure or kill him, but
don't bother me any more
/ began TO tell him what thought Of him,
but he went to sleep and choked me off
Tue pext morning be ticklsd hebys fest R2d
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
Sister. at the Race Course.

To black robed figures stood patiently
waiting near the betting ring at the Sleeps
head hay rare course the other day. They
nevar moved except TO address a word to each
other occasionally. They were sisters Of a
religious order, and as the throng of men,
some laughing and careless, some wild eyed
and bitter Of face, passed them, dollar after
dollar dropped into the reticuie which one Of
the sisters held open, but unobtrusively, be-
fore her Il have watched them before as |
have to-day said a Newarker. They are
always Just so calm and cheerful, and Just so
indifferent To the passion which you see in
almost every mans face. They are levying
q tribute for the lord in the DEVILS abode
That. what call it The tribute is bigger
than You think The winners give because
the money came easy; the losers give TO pro-
pitiata fortune. / know men who would not
,iare u pass without leaving something with
the sisters New York Cor. Chicago Her
aid
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

The batten had sprung back against the
barn in such a way as to prevent my unbut-
toning my vest, and while | hung there on
the side OF the barn, like coon skin, the pro-
pr'etor came around and accused ME Of pre-
maturely gathering his eggs
l had heard truth very highly spoken Of by
people who had dabbled in it more or less,
and so resolved 10 try it in this instance.
So | admitted that such was the case, and it
WIS the best thing | could have done, for the
man said as had been so frank with him he
would take me down as soon as he got his
other work done, and be was as good as his
word After he had MIXED nine cows and
fed nine calves he came round with a ladder
and took me down. He also spanked me and
set the dog on me, but did not mind that,
for WAS accustomed to it To hang on the
side Of barn, however, like an autumn Leaf,
trying to kick large holes in the atmosphere,
h dIsagreeabie.
This incident cast gloom over my whole
life. 1t has also reconciled me to the awful
decree that can never be boy again--Bil
Nye in Boston Globe.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

IN arrange all the difficulties he Thought con
nected with the ceremony. | assured him
there would be no difficulty; that would see
him through all right. But said he, what
about the ringT Explained; and then, with
a blush, When must l kiss the bridef
answered that at the close Of the ceremony |
would offer PRAYER, and just as soon as l
would say Amen he was TO kiss the bride.
The ceremony went through all right; l
said Amen" and looked at him in a knowing
way. He suddenly remembered his duty,
made little jump, like a timid trout at fly,
and kissed-not the bride, but me. Ii was
the beartiest kiss | remember ever TO have
experienced. He had a short cropped black
mustache, and still can feel the warm prick
ling of it on my lips. l understand since that
why my wife has always teased me to raise q
mustache e-Harper's Monthly.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

abraham Johnsing" had possessed enough
thrift, that quality 80 seldom present in his
race, TO purchase a small grocery in a southern
town and run il on his own account.
Harrison Smiler hasn't very good reputa-
ton for paying his bills The colored grocer
is quite familiar with his failings, to his
sorrow.
Harrison walked into the store last week
and with a very courteous bow remarked:
"Good day, Mistah Johnsing"
Good day yer sef"
"Got any rale nice baconr'
Reckon hab"
"How much yo' cha'ge 70 dat baconi Is
tinkin' bout buyin' bacon today"
Bacon hab bin goin' up fur de las Ten
minutes. 20 dat its wuf eighty cents ppu1d.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
Mrs. FriskIey's Ingenuity.

Friskley has fallen into the habit Of taking
a cocktail before his meals. He says his ap-
petite is failing and requires little gentle
stimulus.
The other night when Friskley had arrived
at home, and had kissed his wife, the follow
ing dialogue ensued:
Thank you, John. Won't you affection
tionatelyl kiss me againr
kiss you agu,n, my dearI"
That's what said. Aren't you willing to,
my lovei Don't you love me well enough
tor
"Oh, yes; Of course Kisses her again.)
She tsniffing the air)-Ahas Just as l
supposed. You've been drinking again.
Boston Record.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
He Had to "Git.-

They had the pavement on Park street
torn up from curb to curb the other day
when a potato peddlers horse and wagon
came rushing along. The repairers shouted
to the driver to stop, but he would not, and
horse and wagon were rushed over the loose
blocks and through the ditch to the solid
road beyond.
"You must be in an awful hurry" re-
marked one Of the PAYERS to the peddler as
be was gathering for a fresh start.
you bet | ami"
Anything specials"
"Well, | sold a woman back here three
pecks Of potatoes for a bushel, and if there
is any git in this hoss, the next ten minutes
Is the time TO show it!"-Detroit Free Press
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

Superintendent Wells tells a story illustrat-
ing how selfish human nature crops out even
in the sacre'l duty of burying ones dead. At
tached to the cemetery is a receiving vault
that will hold 1,lOO bodies. Collins are kept
there until lots are procured and graves pre-
pared for them The fee for leaving bodies
at the time Of which he spoke was 81 each,
and it was kept at this figure until it came TO
be noticed that the vault was gradually fill
ing up and the arrivals were constantly larger
than the departures Investigation showed
that some of the bodies had been left there
for years, waiting the further attention sf
friends who never came. There were ascer-
fained to be over 500 of these cOffins, and
finally tho corporation dug a trench and
placed all Of them in it, styling the grave
The Unclaimed Dead" After that the fee
for receiving bodies at the vault was raised
to So, which sum is applied on the burial lot
account when lot is bought Since then
only few bodies have been deserted in the
vault New York Tribune.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
water mat HAD Been scandarreu.

An artesian well was recently bored at o.
lumbus, Miss, and the water therefrom Is
very cold and possesses rare chemical proper
ties city negro, with cup i'll his hand,
was standing at the well day or two ago,
when brother from the country jumped off
his wagon and asked for a drink Of the cele-
brated water.
When the nolored gentleman from the
country had swallowed the water be smacked
his lips and said:
Hi! that watah's good, sho's yo bon"
The other, with an air OF great Importance
replied:
IN course hits good; hits boun' ter be
good, fur hit comes 1000 feet from de under
pinnin' of de yearth, an hits been scandal
lied by the bes' gynas rom de state univer
sity, an wat yo' think he says hits got in
hitr
Il dunno, I'm sho.'
"Well, he says dere is ten grains oxhide gas
ten grains cowbonic gas, ten grains foxforus
acid, an seventy grains hydrophobia in dat
watah, hits boun' to be good watah, sab. -
Youths Companion.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

same as You would a rabbit, and it took two
days for the blood TO get back to his toes
againl The child wasn't four weeks old
when Bowser began TO look for teeth, and
because he couldn't find any he turned TO
me and said would probably have an offer
from some side show TO travel with the
monstroSity When baby was six weeks old
Bowser came home one afternoon and in
sisted on seeing him walk. He said he
walked at three weeks, and his father at
two, and that if baby didn't begin then he
was no good. | tried to jam some sense into
his head, but in vain, and he had a, fling
about my family being bow legged and spine
less. One afternoon left baby asleep and
Bowser to watch him. In few minutes the
child opened its eyes, and Bowser remarked
The old woman has gone over to Blacks
to see about a salve TO cure your sore toe, and
if you make me any trouble III warm your
jacket good and stout"
The baby began to cry What baby
wouldn't when threatened in that cold blooded
manner!
"Shut up" shouted Bowser.
Baby wouldn't.
Look a -here!' continued Bowser as he
spit on his hands, you'll either dry I'D or
ltdNt HpuSc. L ucD intend 10 nave any
one around here who won't obey all reason
able commands! If you go out youth never
come back-neverl'
The baby almost went into commissions,
and all that saved its life was the fact that
l returned while Bowser was hunting the
cook to ask her TO lie q witness to the fact
that baby left the house rather than obey the
parental commando
The child was scarcely 8 months old when
Bowser wanted to put him into pantaloons
and boots, and because objected heSroared
out:
"Oh, we'll make a fSol Of him il you will,
but wash my hands Of the whole AFFAIR.""
When the boy was months old Bowser sat
down one day and asked him his age, name,
etc, and when the dear thing put up its lip
and began 20 Cry-as what baby wouldt
when jumped on in that manner; his father
shook his great big fist at him and exclaimed:
young man, this is the third or fourth
time you have impudently defied me in my
own house, and give you notice that it is
the last!n
Last night had the minister over talking
with Bowser, but don't suppose that it did
him much good, as | suddenly heard him
slap his fist into his hand and'protest:
But the idea of a young 'un waking I'D
in the middle of the night to how'll Why
not do it all the daytime. when hes nothing
else on handr-Detroit Free Press.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

THE CORRECT METHOD.

Lady to applicant for cooks placel-Did
understand you TO say that your name is
Browni
Applicant-Yis, mum; Browne wild de "e."
MAKING SLOW TIME.
STve been on this road ten years" said the
conductor on a southern railroad TO pasSen-
ger who complained OF the slow time, an
know what I'm talking about"
Ten years, eh'" said the passenger. what
station did you get on atF
STRIKING SYMPATHETIC CHORD.
Miss Clara with a sigh)-Do you know,
Nj Featherly, that for some unknown reason
] feel very blue tonight!
Mr.. Festherly anxious to say the proper
thing but somewhat at a losS)-Well-er-
Miss Clara. blue, you know, is very becoming
70 your omplexion.-Harper's Bazar.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
X. Knocked tn. Gov.rnor Ont

Governor Porter Of Indiana, is noted for
his childlike and bland methods when he goes
out to speak during an electioneering tour
He always assumes the familiarity of know
ing all people. On one occasion he went
down to Franklin, twenty miles below In
disnapolis. He arose to speak with his face
wreathed in smiles and began:
Ladies and gentlemen, it affords me great
pleasure to meet my old friends whom have
known 50 long"
At this point some shrill voice in the au-
dience shouted:
Name EN-: name 'enl, governor"
This 50 Disconnected the governor that hi
did not recover from it all the evening
Kansas City Star.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

The operation of tracheotomy, by which
an opening is made with the knife into
the windpipe 70 the relief of membranous
Group and diphtheria, seems likely to be
superseded by the intubation Of the
larynx. In this new operation o small
tube is inserted through the mouth into
the windpipe, and all necessity for cut
ting operation is thus avoided. 1t is
claimed by the advocates Of this method
of treatment that it is far easier to intro
duce this tube than to perform tracheot-
omy, and that more lives are saved than
by the old operatiOn.-Science.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

In many parts Of the world the process Of
denudation has left detached columns and
pinnacles Of rock which are readily over
thrown or destroyed, while in countries once
worn by glaciers there are thousands Of poised
powders which are equally sensitive to
shocks Thesc natural seismomcters furnish
q means Of determining whether severe earth
quakes have visited, since very remote
period. places where they have never been
recorded A study Of such evidence has
shown Professor n. S. Shaler that certain
portions of the Rocky mountains, the re-
gions Of the upper Tennessee river, the coast
district OF Maine. with Saxony and some
other parts Of Europe, have been exempt
from great shocks for some tens Of thousand,
Of years s-Arkansaw Traveller.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

The real place OF fruit is at the begin
ming of a feast, and not at the end. A
better plan is to make meal OF bread
and ripe fruit. The best meals to make
thus are breakfast, lunch, or early tea.
The bread should be brown and dry and
the fruit ripe and raw. Dry brown bread
cleans the tongue and brings out the
favor Of the fruit. Butter on the bread
would give its own flavor, for even the
salt in the butter would destroy the pure
taste Of the fruit. Again, the fruit
should be raw, il possible, as many de-
liciouS Cdors and delicate fiavors are lost
in the cooking. Chicago Tribune.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

1t was at the morgue. Three ladies, whose
dress and bearing showed them to be of the
so-called better class, were gazing sadly at the
body upon the marble slab Two of the
ladies were certain that they were those of
dear George. The third was not wholly con-
WINGED She stepped forward to make an
other examination. "No, girls, she suddenly
exclaimed, 1T is not George. George had
false teeth" The ladies departed. The at
tendant gave the corpse a reproachful glance
as he muttered: "Ye ould fool, il ye'd kipt
yer mouth shut ye'd had a foine funeral" ~
Boston Transcrint
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05

palindrome reads equally well backward
or forward, but the following stanza beats
the palindrOme in that it reads better back
ward than forward:
Krah, krah. eht sgod cd krab,
Eht sraggeb era gnimoc OF nwOt;
Emos nj sEar. emos nj SCAT
Dna emos nj tevlev snwOE
Springfield Union
"The car is full of alumni" whispered Miss
Beekonstreet TO her friend from the west as
they both jOurneyed Cambridgeward In the
horse car. Yes" said the Chicago girl,
"and how it chokes one up, don't iti won-
der they do not open the yentilators r-Bos-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
waiter. is this an old or new herring
that you brought meT Cant you tellT'
NO" "Well, then, what difference does it
makeF-FIiegende Blatter.
The tenor and the soprano Of Chicago
church were married this week Their ac-
quaintance began in the choir, and as the
happy pair meandered up the aisle the jocu-
lar organist struck up, I'VE met by chants
Rambler.
Papa" said little Jimmie Briefiess, what
do you wear when you go TO the court house
your law suitr "Oh, no, my son" replied
the good barrister, kindly THAT is the suit
a man puts on when he goes naked. Only the
clients wear that "-Burdette.
A joint canvass-that which covers a ham.
New Orleans Picayune.
More than 1900 couplers have been patent
ed in this country, and yet there are hun
dredS Of thousands of men and women yet
unhitched Citizen
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
NOW FOR SPORT.
A Long Head.

Mrs Greene-Timothy, what have you
done with tho letter that was lying on the
bureaui
Timotby-I put 1t into the letter box,
ma'am-
Mrs Cob! provoking! Didn't you see
there was no address on the envelopei
Timothy-Yes, ma'am; but | thought yer
didn't want nobody to know who you was
writin' to-Life.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-12-05
A Familiar Odor.

A woman was trading in a store on Michi
gan avenur the other day when the proprie-
tor began shifting and snuffing the air and e1-
citedly inquired: Don't you smell smoker
Yes Lands save US! but I'm afraid the
store is on fire, and I'm not insured! 1t
smells like pin. wood Laws, but YOU men
don't know nothing said the woman, as she
calmly sat down. That's the smell Of meat
burning in a kettle back in one Of those
houses The woman has let the water bile
out. Pine wood! Humph! How much a
yard for that factory yi"-Detroit Free Press