Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-02-21

MEKr uPos TEE TRAILS.
Nov there sbideiA OF he railway
car. and travels up and down the
land therein. the citizen whose name
Is Legion. william II Il Legion. Of
Legionville, Legion COgatY. and this
Is The msnseT of man ae Is:
One of hin islketh politics.
From the time be gsiteth upon the
train until be s;eppeth of be tslketh
the LEGAL politics Of Deddangon
County into the weary ears OF the
stranger from farther India. who
knoweih about American politics FAR
less han the pig 81 the corn knoweth
about the new star in Antromeda-
And another OF him is the man
who gets carried by. Never q train
yet run upon wheels that did not
carry some man BY. The brake
man. with the rich tenor voice, opens
the front door and shrieks. 10 ca
splitting fslsetto, Wood Lawn.
Wood Lawn Then iRe brake
man. with the deep bass F0ice. opens
the rear door AID rosrs, Wood
Lawn, Wood Lawn" The tain
boy goes down the aisle with his
books and apples AID squssks,
w oOdlawnwoodlawn" Finally En-
tiers the conductor. who says, in
tones Of impressive dignity and
official authority, Wood Lawn;
Wood Lawn" The train stops.
The passenger raises window aud
looks out al the village Ten miles
farther on the brakeman with the
tenor voice opens the door. q cinder
flies down his throat and chokes his
utterance, he gasrs feebly and in.
articulately, "Winsheruncshun.'
The astonished passenger springs 10
his feet. Winchester Junction"
he bowls; why in the name of
goodness didn't you tell me when
we came to Wood Lawn: Now
can't get home till tomorrow morn
ing. I'll report you for neglecting
to call out stations; see if l DON'T"
And there is the man who gets oil
the train every time il stops. rlshes
down the platform, gets In every
body's way, forces his way into the
waiting-Ioom while everybody else
is trying TO get out, peers into the
ticket Offices, always wants to know,
Where the mischief is the telegraph
OPERATOR Never reads 9 telegram;
never knows what to say If the
operator is at his place; always peeps
into the baggage car to see il he can
discover his own trunk, which WAS
put on ten hours and $50 miles ago;
gets thumped with trunks and pin
ched by trucks; gets deeper in the
way every time he tries 10 get out of
it; never secs any body he knows on
the whole trip and would be amazed
if he did, and rides in his seat 30
little of the time that it doesn't pay
him to claim it when he sees any
one else in 1t although that is the
only time he wants it.
And there Is the man who 10 "a
calls the conductor George" and
the brakeman Johnny" and ad-
dresses the walters at the dining
station by their first names. If,
however, he speaks to q fellow pas
senger, he calls him, 'Say, you. l"
He stops the conductor when that
official is the busiest to ask him
about brskemen on freight trains of
whom the conductor had never
heard, nor any other man, possibly.
He calls the length of the car to the
newsbOy to know when We pass
Ninety seven" and if bill Stunt
is rUnnin' her today" His wither-
ing contempt for passengers is
something UNNECESSARILY painful to
the unhappy people who are obliged
to travel. This man, whom you
have often met, has two or three
origins. He usually travels on a
trip pass, and used to sweep out the
general offices when the regularly
ordained janitor had to take the
superintendants place. He isn't a
railroad man, but he'd give both his
legs il he could make people think
| he is.
There are two men in a seat near
the stove exchanging recipes for
rheumatism and other ills to which
human flesh is heir. One of them
had the janders all last spring.
They come Onto him just as he was
getting over spell of neuralagy and
left him just in time for two weeks
rassel with lumbsgo in the spine in
the back. That isn't what ails him
now, though. It's this missms in
his system, and the things he has
been and is yet taking for it are
numerous enough and various
enough to kill off o country aims
house. The other man had a ma
lignant tumor on his hip all winter,
and the only thing his doctor could
do with it was to throw him into q
bronchial fever the effects of which
were still painfully apparent in
chilblains and execrated sore throat.
Every time he swollers he'd
druther diem swoller agin. So these
two sufferers while away weary
hours telling each other infallible
cures for all the things the other
man has.
And then there are four other peo-
pie on the train; they are on every
train that ever turned wheel--the
two young married people who have
just been married, and the omni.
present other two young people, the
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