davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
WISE REFLECTIONS.
Brother Gardner Muses. on Various Topics
of Everyday Interest.

of Everyday Interest.
My chill en-, de ole man has trabbled
long an weary road to reach de
present mile post, an he has seen some
things dat am wuth jottin' down fur
remembrance.
You want to take motifs dat de cloze
Of rogue and an honest man am cut
arter de same fashun, an perhaps
from de same pattern. Doan' accept
outside appearances.
When you ha'r man dom a great
deal O. talkin' iist remember dat CAB
kin be cultivated, but it takes natur'
to furnish brains.
II our prosperity was left to Fortune
she'd land nine of us in the poo house
whar' she'd smile on de tenth.
When you find man who am allus
found pusson who nebber helped his
self to deserve any.
While de world owes cherry man q
libin', de world amt to blame if he
am too lazy to work fur it.
A leetle pollyticks am like leetle
mustard, but it am de easiest thing in
de world to choke yerself on either.
De man who spends his time won
derin' why coons war made to climb
trees am VERY apt to miss good many
chances to knock ober rabbits runnin'
about his feet.
Bad company am de halfway sta
shun between murder and de gallus.
When you find man whose debts
doan' worry him you hev hit upon a
chap who'd steal yer mule if you forgot
to lock de stable doah.
Don't be disappointed in your feller
mans weakness. Some of us hev
bin whitfield out of SIGH green timber
dat we warped in de sezuning.
While you should put de gospel
ahead of de law de latter am de best
thing to appeal to when you've got a
good case.-Detroit Free Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
Canadian Government
Report.

Commissioner Inland Department Ottawa (seat
Canada Eight samples baking have been
anayzed AS the efficiency of these powders depends entirely
the cabonc acid given off during their the fol-
been prepared, showing each
quantity gas eliminated from gammes (equa
% n grans) of the powder:
Prices 1.-TWO 3o cubic inches, Contains Ammonia
Lime Oh Aum0
ROYAL q cubic inches. w. SAUNDERS,
Public Analyst, Inland Revenue Dept
Ottawa, Canada April 3, 1885.
These made consideration, but
init United Canada
delight millions housekeepers who DR.
PRICES CREAM BAKING POWDER it endorsed free
Lime Alum drug faint by these highest author
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
LEGAL Advertisements.

g. TATE OF WISCoNSIN-County Court sor
- Jefferson County.-In Probate
Notice is hereby given that at a special term
of the County Court. to he held in and for said
County. at the Court House, in the CITY of Jefer-
son, in said County, on the third Tuesday of
November. being the 18th day of November A d. ,
1886, st IL o'clock in the .forenoon, the follow
ing matters will be heard and considered
The petition of Thomas w. Jones, admins
traitor of the estate of William L. Jones, late OF
the town OF Ixonia, in said Jefferson County
deceased intesate, for the examination and
allowance of his final account of his admins
tration CT said estate; and for the assignment of
the residue of said estate to the persons by law
entitled to the same.
Dated. this 18th day of October, A. d., 1856.
By order of the Court:
HENRY COLONIUS,
2w4 County Judge
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20

The San Diego Water Company,
in making an excavation at the mouth
of a canyon near the old town, came,
about eight feet below the surface, upon
two crumbling barrels. When these
were removed water gushed out so
freely that pump with capacity Of
three thousand gallons minute was
unable to exhaust the supply.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
Two Kind-Hearted Women.

Jones-I believe I've got the most
sensitive wife in the world.
Smith-T'll bet you mine can dis
count her in softheartedness. Why,
my wife shed tears because she heard
% neighbor beating carpet.
JOnes-That is nothing. Mine
iswooned away when ] told her that
Il had been killing time by playing
billiards. Siftings.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
OFFICIAL.
United States Government
Report

National Board of Health Washington, D. c. Bulein-Supple
rcent No. 6, page 80:
kinds baking powders which have bought
market The following table the commercial
baking number of cubic off,
No. DIR. Prices Contains Ammonia, Lime Alum $3.50
Royal 348
By r. c. KEDzIE,
President State Board of Health of Michigan.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
New Advertisements.
TO ADVERTISERS

Alist of 1000 newspapers divided into STATES
AND SECTIONS will be sent on application
FREE.
To those who want their advertising to pay,
we can cffer no bettermedium for thorough and
effective work than the various sections of our
Select Local List.
GEO. ROwELL 81 CO..
Newspaper Advertising Bureau,
10 Spruce street New York
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
ZGszzao>
MZWzUXEE
LIZ Sza4uz 4

oWns aad operates nearly 5000 miles of
Iughly equipped road in Illinois, Wisco
iowa. Missouri, Minnesota and Dakota
1t is the Best Direct Route betw
all principal points in the Northu
Southwest and Far West.
For maps, time tables, rates of passage
freight, etc. apply to the nearest station age.
the CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE & ST. PAUL RAII;y
or to any Railroad Agent anywhere in
World.
r.. Miller, A. ". H.. Carpentt
Gent Manager. Gen. Pass. e. Ticket
j. +. Tucker, Geo. III. Heafford,
Asst. Gen'l. Man. Asst Gen'l Pass. & Tkt,
MILWAUKEE,, WISCONSIN.
RS= For notices in reference to Special E4
sions. changes of time. and other items of i,
est in connection with the Chicago, Milwal
d st. Paul Railway, please refer to the local
umns of this paper.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
II Saved MY Life

Is common expression, often heard
from those who have realized, by per-
sonal use, the curative powers of Ayers
Cherry Pectoral. ** I cannot say enough
in praise of Ayers Cherry Pectoral, be-
lievlng as do that, but for its use, I
should long since have died from lung
troubles. - e. Bragdon, Palestine, Tex.
About six months ago 1 had severe
Hemorrhage of the Lungs, brought on
by distressing Cough, which deprived
me of sleep and rest. [ had used vari-
Gus cough balsams and expectorants,
without obtaining relief. A friend adj
vised me to try
Ayers Cherry PectoraI.
/ did so, and am happy to say that it
helped me at once. By continued use
this medicine cured my cough, and,
am satisfied, saved my life. = Mrs. e.
Coburn, IS Second ST., Lowell, Mass.
I have used Ayers Cherry Pectoral
for over year, ard sincerely believe I
should have been in my grave, had it
not been for this medicine. It has cured
me of a dangerous affection of the lungs,
for which had almost despaired of ever
finding a remedy. ID. A. McMullen,
Windsor, Province of Ontario.
Ayers Cherry Pectoral saved my life.
Two years ago took a very severe Cold
which settled on my lungs. consulted
physicians, and took the remedies they
prescribed, but failed to obtain relief
until I began using Ayers Cherry Pee
toral. Two bottles of this medicine
completely restored nay health. - Lizzie
M. Allen, West Lancaster, Ohio.
Ayers Cherry Pect0raI,
Prepared by DIR. j. G. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists. Price 81; six bottles, $5.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-10-20
Automatic Sewing Machine Co.
72 West 23d St., New York, NY.

We invite special at'
tention TO our NEW
PATENT AUTOMATIC Ten
SION MACHINE. making
precisely the So N o
stitch as the Wilcox &
Gibbs. and yet. Il not
preferred to the Wilcox
/ Gibbs Automatic Ten
sion Machine, can be
returned any time with
In 80 DAYS and money
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
Stage Intoxication.

McCullough's last performance-in
Chicago-was under the effect of ex-
cessive. stimulus, and this reminds US
that most of our actors are great drink
ers. Old Junius Brutus Booth Gather
of Edwin) was rarely sober on the
stage, and required incredible pota-
tions to enable him to go through his
role. Sometimes he got drunk before
the hour, and the audience was then
obliged to submit to disappointment.
George Frederick Cooke, the first Brit
ish star that appeared on our shore,
was also a victim to strong drink, which
destroyed constitution of rare vigor.
Edmund Kean was another brilliant
victim to intemperance. He was the
most wonderful performer of his day,
but he required great quantities of
strong drink, and the habit increased
till it destroyed him. This took place
in his 46th year Like Mccullough, he
broke down While on the stage, and
sank into the arms of his son, who bore
him of, and the play was stopped. He
rallied, but never reappoared, and in n
few weeks death closed his fevered ca
reer. Forrest, in his heavy efforts, used
strong drink, but it never got that de-
gree of mastery which proves utterly
destructive. He was the most muscu-
lar man that the stage ever produced,
and no doubt this was the reason why
he drank less than some others. In
temperance, however, is the widespread
misfortune of the drama. a.--Aew YORK.
CORRESPONDENT.
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03

Mortified News:-Some country
editors are, always boasting that they
are fearless in the exposure of wrong,
,Ed the ventilation Of what they call
evil. Does il ever occur 10 such that
IN u community, as in n family, there
are SOME slips OF morals that had bet
ter be hidden from public gaze? The
newspaper which always reports the
vices and failures and shortcomings
of The public, for which it is printed,
is an evil in the community. The
gossiping woman or the censorious
man who, i'll private life, scatters
scandal, or rebukes shortcomings. are
looked upon as dangerous and hurt
ful. Why is a newspaper less so
when it follows the same course !?
Fearlessness does not consist in pub
fishing the little vanitles of people, or
scattering gossip, but in defending
right, whether III morals or i'll public
policy, in condemning wrong, in
building up character, not in tearing
it down, i'll spreading good report not
evil, in speaking in kindness as well
as in rebuke. 1t is no evidence OF
courage to attack indiscriminately for
the qualification of revenge. 1t is
more often the evidence of the worst
form of cowardice.
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
The Rattlesnake's Revenge

"Speakin' o. snakes" said the Texas
frontiersman, reminds me oy a little
adventure me and chum had with rat
tlesnakes that made me respect the rat
tlesnake ever since"
"What kind of an adventure did you
have that makes you respect the rattle
snakeP" asked a ST. Louis man.
"Well, one evening just before dark
out among the Rio Grande canyons
there come the all-fredest rain you
ever seed. Before we could get out
the water had risen so the only way of
escape was to cross canyon thirty
feet wide and 500 deep.
"When we got to this canyon we
found about one million rattlesnakes
there. They recognized me as their
friend, it seemed, as tried to keep my
chum from shooting into a mound of
'em, for they crawled around me and
looked into my face, as much as to say:
You can help us over if you will. l
noticed that the snakes paid no atten-
ton to my chum, except big rattler
my chum wounded would look at him
and then go around to his followers
and seem to tell them something.
''Well, / tied knot in the tail of a
big rattler and then got another and
looped his neck into this, and so on un-
til had snake rope about sixty feet
long Then I coiled it in my hand as
/ would lariat and throwed it across,
and the head snake tied himself to q
tree, and the last one on my side did
the same. had my lot of snakes to
go over first, and then ] went over on
this snake-rope bridge. The last snake
let go of the tree, and he crawled up
and the others followed until all were
across.
my chum had done as / did, but he
let the big wounded rattler have HIM
self made the last snake, and tie him.
self round the tree, SO when all the
snakes were over, and my chum was
going over as had done, that big
wounded rattler seemed to grin, show
ed all his teeth. and let go. Of course,
the whole shebang went down with
a swish, and my chum was throwed
off and smashed into jelly, and--''
but the crowd had scattered and left
the big Texan to himself
He muttered: II don't keer durn;
these fellers think rattlesnake is the
deadliest enemy to mankind. He is
not as poisonous as the copperhead, and
always rattles a warning before he
strikes. He's my friend, anyhow. -
ST. Louis Globe Democrat.
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
"A Brlgh: Bay without Legs And
Arms

There are many who have to go
through a part of life at least with the
loss OF an arm or leg, and anyone can
realize ia Il measure the privations such
a loss can occasion; but very few are
called upon to exist without either. and
very few realize the extent to which
human ingenuity can provide means OF
compensation in such cases. some
times it seems as if nature gives what
aid it can, and when the physical COM
pleteness has been denied sought to
make up the deficiency with moro than
average mental gifts.
Such observations might naturally
occur to the individual who was ac-
quainted with the son of G. b. Will
liams, of Mendon, Mass, who was born
without arms and legs, and yet goes
around the village and fills a worthy
place in the youthful society OF the
town, with promise OF an active ana
useful manhood in the years to come.
The young man is II years of age. his
features are rather old looking for his
years, and the expression is bright and
Intelligent His language and looks
indicate belief in his ability to take
care of himself before great while.
He is nearly qualified to enter the high
school of the town, and his handwrit-
inc is above the average. In accom-
plishing the latter work the pen is held
| under the chin, and with the aid of the
shoulder the tracings are made.
He attends the public school and goes
around the village without the aid OF
any other person, but the means to this
end were not invented until within 9
year or SO, and not until after long
time of study upon the subject and
trial of several aids, which proved by
experiment to be of little use. He coulc
| get up and down stairs, put On his cap
| and roll and throw himself from one
| point in the room to another withou
help, but to 60 much outside OF thu
house it was necessary to carry him
Now he carries himself. For this pur
pose pair of wheels similar to those
on boys velocipede were procured
and the axle padded. The boy rest
his chest on the pad and by means o
his imperfect lower limb propels him
self around the town. 1t required SOM
practice to learn to balance himself a
first, but he soon overcame the dittlcul
w. The wheels were obtained in DE
troit, efforts to find the kind neare
home having been without success.
Il can. 60 anywhere 1 want tt" sai'
the lad. "Can 90 down hill faster thai
walk, but have to rest on UP grades.
He does not complain OF any pain o
trouble in the stomach from resting tn
weight of his body on it so much. L
spite of his afIiiction and the way he
handicapped in the race for worldly re
wards, he impresses the stranger a
one who bids fair to make his mark
strong mental attainments. .-BoSto
| GL0be.
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
Trying to Save the Property.

s"In case of fire carry me out" is
painted in large yellow letters on q
cumbrous, and valuable-looking chest
in Chatham street shop. The shop
keeper, as if happily conscious of a
great achievement on his part, stood
back of the center of attraction smok-
ing full-grown Connecticut cigar. A
seedy-piece of humanity came aimless-
ly along the street and stopped to gaze
at the queer-looking letters on the
chest. Then, as if propelled forward
by some diabolical motive, he rushed
into the store and began to lift the
chest with all his might.
'.Git out there! Vat you want?''
excitedly exclaimed the proprietor,
rushing forward.
''W6y, sir, Is doin' ist as that box
said. l seed this sign and that fire"
What fire?"
'Why, that fire there" and he
pointed to where the cigar of the ex-
cited man, which he had dropped in
his hurry, was burning hole in the
carpet. With one stamp of his shoe it
was extinguished. But the tramp still
fingered.
'sMoses." again said the proprietor,
after glancing at the tramp and then
at his clerk, :.'give that feller one Of
them cheap cigars-the cheap ones,
mind-and then put him out. p"
The tramp took the cigar and walk
ed out without any unnecessary help
ing, and with beaming smile upon
his dirt-begrimed face. N Z. Tribune
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03

In recent number Of the Grocer's
Criterion, trade journal, is gwen q
large number of instances of discrim-
ination on the part of the railroads
against Minnesota as we'll as other
northwestern points, with the follow
ing comment:
Now this method of doing business
is manifestly unfair. There Is not the
slightest reason why one part of the
Northwest should be able to get bet
ter rates of transportation for its pro-
duce than another. 1t unsettles val
ues, causes fluctuations i'll the mar
kets that occasion unexpected losses
to business men. There is but one
fair and honest course for the rail-
roads to pursue, and that is to estab-
lish and maintain a regular schedule
| of prices per hundred pounds for GER
tain specified distances for the trans
poriati"I of both grain and groceries.
Let the railroad companies, then,
| redGce their rates to as low point as
| is reasonable and consistent with do
ing business on Il paying basis, and
adhere to them firmly in all cases.
| By this policy all business men will
have an equal opportunity, whether
they live in Chicago. st. Paul, st.
Louis, Kansas City, Des Moines, Ce-
dar Rapids or any other prominent
Ijobbing point or center of a wholesale
business. Every storekeeper in the
West should lend his influence to
| bring about this much desired result.
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
ALDEHS CYCLOPEDlA OF UNIVERSAL
LITERATURE.

This work is the outcome of many
years of planning and preparation. 1t
will be an almost indispensable work
of reference for every library, large or
small, trustworthy guide to what is
most worth knowing of the literature
of all ages and nations. Occupying
a dozen or more volumes, and yet is
sued at a price so low as to be within
the reach of all, familiarity with its
contents will constitute liberal edu-
cation to degree that can be claimed
for few other works in existence. DR..
Losing, the eminent historian and
author, says of it: 81 am strongly
impressed with the great intrinsic val
ue of the work as popular educator
in a high department of learning.
The plan is admirable. Combining
as it does personal knowledge of an
author with specimens of his or her
best literary productions, gives 1t an
inestimable power for good among
the people" The work is being pub
lished in parts of 100 pages each, pa
per covers, at the price of Is cents, al
so In very handsome cloth-bound vol
umes, gilt tops, 4S0 pages, for go cents.
The parts can be exchanged for bound
volumes at any time. Five parts are
now ready, also the first bound vol
ume; volume two will be issued in
| March,. The publishers 132-page il
lustrated catalogue of standard books
can be had ford cents, or condensed
16-page catalogue, free. JOHN B. AL
DEN, Publisher, New York.
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03

Sauk Centre Tribune:-Th farmers
of the legislature, if in possession of a
majority sufficient to pass the laws
regulating railroad and wheat ques-
tions, should employ first-class con-
stitutional lawyer to draw the bills,
and then put them through without
amendments. Those laws should be
so conssiuc, ed as to regulate the grad
ing of wheat and it's shipment over
the railroads. They must be of char
acter to make an open market by do
Ing away with discrimination of all
kinds, and provide for the shipment
of wheat to any point that may be de-
sired at reasonable rate. AS all 9TH
er freight may be included with the
article regulating the carriage of
wheat the question may be settled for
all time by proper bill. Onlya law
yer of the highest ability can form
such measures. The effect of these
measures will be to deprive monopoly
of any power to control the market
and shipment of wheat, and that will
solve the questions now being dis
cussed. We want tile Millers' Asso-
citation for buyers, but we want to de-
prive it of the power to control the
market. Il
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
The Uniucky Opal.

1.-The prejudice against opals may
be diving ont. but great many people
still hold to the belief that they bring
bad luck" said q jeweler the other
day Il could tell you of q little Incl
dent that occurred here that may make
YOU wonder whether some people do
not manage to get themselves born
three centuries too late. A man came
here with ring that had beautiful
opal set in it, and told me to take out
the stone and let him see some other
gem to put in its place. / asked him
if he was going to get rid of the opal
altogether, and he said he was going
to destroy it. was rather surprised,
and said:
"'Don't do that; I'll give you $50
for it.
He declared that he didn't want
money for it; that it had brought him
nothing but bad luck since he bought
it: that he had failed in business and
lost two of his children, and all, of
course, on account of little piece of
stone. went over to that bench and
took the opal out of its setting, and
while looking at the ring l laid the
gem on the bench beside me. AS quick
as flash that man picked up ham,
mer that was lying among the tools
and hit the stone whack that smash
ed it into a thousand pieces. There
was nothing left. Then he said
.Therer in satisfied manner. It's
too bad, for the opal is one of the pref
tiest gems in the world. ."-New York
Morris tribune., 1886-03-03
Watermelon Ethics.

Very few people know how to eat a
watermelon, just as not one man in
ten thousand knows how to eat an Or
ange. To be properly enjoyed the per-
feet watermelon should be pounced on
in the patch just after sun-up. 1t should
be carefully selected. In response to
an eager thamp there should follow a
dead and mealy sound, and the melon
should weigh not less than twenty-five
pounds. After it is pulled it should be
split end to end with short-bladed
pocket-knife, so that in tearing it open
the glowing and juicy heart, bursting
loose from its confinement, shall find a
lodgment on one side only. At this
point the knife is 10 be flung away.
For moment the eye should be allowed
to feast itself on the vision thus sud-
denly brought to view, then the heart
should be scoopeda out with the hand
and its nectarous meat thrust upon
the hot and thirsty palate. There ought
to be something savage in the enjoy
ment OF a watermelon; it ought to be
crushed and swallowed with avidity.
The man who knows hoWI~to enjoy one
will come away from the fray with the
sweets in his beard in his hair, and or
his clothes. .-AMGnta Constitution.