, 1886-08-08

the next fellow you try might be "A jolly
sight worse; he might put in bone dust.
or plaster of paris, or sulphate of copper.
And, besides, halft the adulturations are
in the flour already, before it reaches the
baker. OF course, that doesn't prevent
his doing n little more on his own nc
count"
Aud with that the matter dropped, so
far as the bread was concerned; but my
confidence was rudely shaken.
A few days later my analyst remarked;
Il don't think much of this milk" and he
forthwith appropriated n sample for anal
ytical purposes. but finally was compelled
to own that il was not quite so bad as he
expected.
"Itis a r~ascally shame l said. "If one
can't put faith in the milk jug it's a bad
lookout for the blue ribbons gentlemen.
However, let us hope that the tea and
coffee are all right"
".Sot likely" he rejoined. Nearly all tea
is 'faced,' as they call it, more or less, and
the facing is itself an adulteration. As
for coffee, you don't expect to get the
pure, do you? It's sure to be mixed with
chicory, anyhow, and very probably with
roasted acorns, beans, mahogany sawdust
or old tan. Baked horse liver occasion
ally; but that's m extreme case. If, by
any remote chance, there wasn't anything
wrong In the original coffee, you get it in
the chicory; and very often there are adul-
terations in both; so you get 'em twice
/. over"
"lf that's the case, no more ground coffee
for me. Wen grind our own, and then
we are sure to be safe"
"You mustn't make too cocksure of
that. Some years ago an ingenious firm
took a patent for IA machine to mold
rhicorv iufo fha ehnua of coffaa barriea
Smart chaps thosel And of course they
can put anything like that into the chicory
before they work it up"
THAT'S pleasant, certainly. Then how
Is one to procure pure c~offee;"
You can secure it except by sending n
sample to us, or some other shop OF the
same sort, 10 nav it analysed; and, if it's
wrong, prosecute your grocer for adulter-
ation. After doing that n few times he
might find it didn't pay and give it up"
And. how much would that cost?"
Analysis of "A sample of coffee, l guinea;
analysis OF butter, . ~guineas; analysis of
milk, l guinea; analysis of tea, l guinea.
These are the regular charges for private
analyses"
Rather expensive, 1t seems"
The subject dropped. But a few days
later there CHANGED to be apple pudding
on the table. With the dish in question
my analyst had always been in the habit
of consuming brown sugar, and a good
deal of it. Now, however, on the
basin-the Demerara-being offered to
him, he put on an expression as if he had
been invited to partake of black draught.
Raw sugarl No, hank you"
"~liillo, what's wrong witt the sugar.
Is ii all alulteratel tool'
"Nery probably, he loftily replied. "But
fInf - "a Ar,.1I g..trur M. .ntfA anti
Gle is bad enough
bad enough" Indignantly i%nterposed
my analysts mamma. That's Mr.. Grit
ties very best moist-3 pence 3 farthings
n pound!'
81 dare say it is. If it was 4 pence it
wouldn't make any difference. Did you
ever hear of the sugar-mill, Acarus sac
chart
mo; | can't say | ever did,"I said, and
l q don't want to, either. We have had
enough of that sort of thing, and 1 am
not going to have any more agonies over
every article we eat"
had again put my foot down. But it
was too late. 1 had even forbidden my
analyst, under penalty of forfeiture of his
pocket money for several months to come,
telling Us anything whatever about the
FOOD we eat or the drink we imbibe; but
the mischief was done. l nave lost my
confidence in my fellowman, and still
more in my fellowman's productions. l
may try in an imperfect way to protect
our household, / may give the s~trictest or
ders that none but the reinedest of sugar
shall be admitted into our store cupboard;
but who IL TO answer for the man who
makes the jam and the marmalade, or the
other man who make the Madeira cakes
and the three-cornered tarts? And how
much is there that we have not heardy |
have silenced my analysts lips, 1t is true;
but there is also a Language Of the eyes, and
still more, n language of the nose, and
when, with n s~cornful tip-tilt of the
latter, he says, mo, thank YOU to any
thing, my appetite is destroyed for that
meal. This is morbid, no doubt. L am
quite aware that it is morbid, but l can't
help it. | am like Governor Sancho in the
island of Barataria; my choicest dishes
are whisked away from me-or rendered
nauseous, which is rs bad-at the bidding
of n grim being who calls himself Analyt-
ical Science. lie may not know anything
about it; or he may be lying; but mean
while he has spoiled my appetite, and
the dish may 90 away untasted for me.
Truly, a little knowledge is "A dangerous
thing. The moral of my painful story is
obvious. . intend to bring up the rest of
my family, if possible, to occupations in
volving no knowledge whatever. English
Magazine.