Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-07-14
NEWSPAPER tVET.

Gle.
'MRs. LOGAN has q rag Garnet on
the stairs of her Washington house ),
Reliable exchange. Did the renorter
expect to see it on the piano ?-Phila-
delphia Call.
He: "They have dropped their
anchor" She Ton her first trin1.
SERVES them right. 1t has been hang
1ng over the side all day long. "-Har5-
er's Bazaar
THIS world is full of disappoint-
ments. Mamma" cried 5-year-old
girl, II started to make my doll q
bonnet and it's come out pair of
pants. New Orleans P1cayune.
YOUNG SIMPSON (anxious to have
the thing straight -"Mr. Schnapps,
should one say 'ane beer or Inc
beer?" Schnapps-"You yust say
'svei peer Come, l take Won NIT
you !"-Exchange
IT is said that thousands Of tons of
leather scraps are ground up and sold
for fertilizers. Gentlemen who have
been raised on the toe of a boot will
readily see how efficacious leather
must be as fertilizer.
MOTHER MANDLEBAUM is livingin ex-
cellent style in Montreal in her richly
furnished residence. She likes ve1y
much to have her house and grounds
praised by her visitors, but is very
sensitive when anybody speaks of the
fence.-Boston Transcript.
A WITTY New Yorker was dining at
the Ryan during the period when the
table was not so bountiful as it might
have been. A friend remarked: "Is
this not magnificent hotel ?" EYES,"
was the dry rejoinder, "but would
like to see less gliding and more cary
ing."-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
MARTIN HOLLOWAY, nephew Ct
the medicine man who founded the
Egham Sanatorium, which the queen
will shortly open, is to be made q
baronet. Some wonder; we do not.
he who is one of the greatest pliers
of the state.-American Register.
SUNDAY School Teacher-And what
is your favorite book, my little boy
Little Boy-The Bible, sir. S. S. t.
And you love the Bible? L. B.-Yes,
sir. S. S. T.-And why do you love
the Bible more than any other book?
L. B.-Because pa gives me five cents
every time I read it.-Boston Courier.
TRAVELLING clergyman Ito hotel por-
ter)-What is in those bottles, por-
ter? Porter-Dem is ham grenades,
sab. Dey is a precaution agin fire.
Clergyman-And what is that book on
the table? Porter-De Bible, sab
another precaution agin fire. Clergy
man-Call me at 7 O'Clock sharp
New York Sun.
SNIFKINs-What lot of disagreeable
old maids there are here tonight. l
wish g. few of them would go and let
the young people have some fun.
Miss Coster-Well, I'lltellyou a way to
get rid OF them. Snifkins-What's
that? Miss Coster-You get up and
announce that you are going to recite
'Hostler Joe" 1.-THE Rambler.
SMITH-Are the whisky and cigars all
right? Brownies, they're under the
seat. Smith-And the lunch? Brown
That's under the seat, too. Smith
And the hooks and lines? Brown
By iove! l forgot them entirely.
Smiuh-That's too bad. Well. sup
pose Wen have to get along the best
we can without them.-Life.
"MAMMA," said Johnnie, still smart
ing from a shingle application, sis the
roof of anything on top of it?" ''Of
course it is," she said, shortly. "And
don't shingles always 60 to the roof?"
"Certainly, they do" Then Johnnie
was silent for quite while. Finally
he said, in a quavering voice: "Mam-
i,,,+ NV r0af 11y,oiGo doyU,, %,
Washington Critic.
OVERHEARD g. farmer, who lives on
the Androscoggin, telling about q Sec
ond wife ne had married, the other
day. He was we'll pleased with his
| bargain, evidently. He wished to ex-
press to his friend the idea that she
was serviceable, though not a beauty.
1T tell you what, Jim," said he, ''she
ain't q nag, but she's q good roader."
Lewiston Journal.
CHARLEY I4oNGBow-Yes, an inveter-
ate smoker uses the weed merely
from habit. Why, knew an old fellow
who smoked all the time, and one day
! filled his pipe with leather chips, and
/ he said it was the best tobacco he ever
tasted. She-You must look much
| yOohSCA OAOA Oo ACcol1J C11 LIZ
why? She-Why, papa says he
heard that story when he was little
| boy.-Lite.
MAY to Flora (both daughters of
lawyers)-Oh, Flora! I have just re-
ceived a love.letter from my Charlie,
and papa forbids the correspondence,
and do want so much to keep his let
ter; so what shall do to keep papa
from getting it? Flora-Why, May,
I find it the safest to put such secrets
in my fathers law books. They are
never disturbed Observation-Disclosures
Critic.
ssMov1NG again, Ell? What's the
matter with your boarding place this
timer" "Well, you know l told you
about the torture I endured in the
last placer" eyes. A family with
twin boy-babies both tee5hing." eyes.
Well, I just got settled down in new
place in nice room right next to the
parlor, when the landlady moseyed in
a grand piano, backed it right up
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