New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-03

THE TALK or THE DA p


MI william Henry Burr, OF Washington has published
pamphlet in which he proves that Shakespeare could
not WRITE and that Bacon tie author OF his sonoes
Mr.. Burr TO think that II only Shakespeare
eectually knocked OF the domain OF literature the
universe would be brighter but would like to ask
hun how it would affect the price OF pork.
Financirr. "-You ask how money is made most
rapidly. and how suddenly to acquire the
coming to the writer OF this paragraph for information
would have done better. however.
Money is most rapidly made in the United states MINIS
Mt Philadelphia San Francisco Newt Orleans aud
Denver. Tie quickest way to acquire this wealth would
be to take long, stiff crowbar, two-bish. bag Of
dephia lie the wafchman is 10 Europe, pry tue
door with the wbar aud dynamite using care to close
counting the monsy-take what you absolutely need and
90 away i Bill Nye in Chicago News
THE JEST.
In tavern quaint and old
OF gabel German town,
Where the night wind up and down
Through the winding streets blew coid
Cay travellers CHANGED to meet
Around a beautiful board,
Where the fire that leaped ana roared
Planned the silent street
As tho wine they freely quaffed.
One rubicund stranger guest
Related merry Jest,
And the company loudly laughed.
But just ~ the mirth had died
weird sound, underlined,
Was borne on a gust OF wind
From the arras ut their side
Was lingering. paled wi:h tear.
While aghast. ali bushed 10 hear
--[Clnton scoliard.
The recherche aud religions circles Of Rcd Gulch
Arizona are wildly excited novel point In ethics.
one OF the old established papers OF Red Gulch Is,
rather was The DAM which was named after the cele
brated Dead Mans Dam where the local Sunday school
picnlcs are held Recently rival paper was started In
the town. proprietor OF which with that Rabelaske
A. M IL tha,
The Fool. The newspaper began 10 outstrip its
ancient rival and became especially popular by calling
upon the President to bansh all Mugwumps TO the Fiji
Islands. At last The Dam nsde overtures for con-
sodtio which received faYOrably and last week
the leading citizens OF Red Gulch were horrifef when
they received first copy Of the consolidated paper
The Red Gulch DaB,-Eoo. When taxed with profanity
the editors replied when two Western papers con-
sodsted the universal rule to retain the name OF
each connected with nyphen and they aid not feel
at liberty to violate that rule. II people saw airy
profanity in the ii was because they were proiane
themselves This did not satisfy the 0bjectos
who are circulating petition to have the name OF tho
paper at least softened iutO The DdnphOOt.
THE PRESIDENT sLEIGHISc.
with his sister Rose
The President goes
A seIxhlng;
As they dash along,
The admirIDg throDg,
With smile as they gaze at the couple.
how charming she looks,
Like princess IN books!
And Grover,
How gallant Is he
Appearing to be
As cOntented as bees are in summer.
In eloverl
Hs eyes bright,
With solid delight
They glisten;
But oh. how they'd shine
With light most divine,
II he out slrighng with somebody
lse's
= Buffalo News.
At the evening sermon IN the Baptist Church AZ one
hundred-and- twenty fEstst. and Frstaye., tie Rev.
Mr. Raymond, pastor delivered sermon on Christ anI
what Paul would say he describing the sun eriugs
OF the Saviour when crGcifei. In the course of%hs
remarks he said: The foweIs that bio Jm ID he and
then hesitaug mOu ent he aided: in the evening"
Al involuntary smile passed the cOuntenances OF
those who had seen the MikadO."
Max knows young woman who Is not AFRAID OF ne.
convictions She lives In house where MeihOllsm |,
the prsv liug creed one day long since tue dom
inie who has OF souls in that particular faui
came to make pastoral VISIT. ~,
After conversing the elder members OF the family
on heir spiritual welfare he turned 10 the young woman
i'm question and said. with all unctuousness:
And Won my dear daughter, are you child OF bO1 r
No Doctor" said tue young woman, I'm an EI'ij.
cOpslian. - Buffalo Express.