The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-03-13
ASTERBROoK BROIL.
Why a Gentleman of Mixed Metaphor No Longer Associates With
 the Judge.

Many inquiries have beeo made with regard to the disruption of the strong friendship which until recently existed between the Rev. Asterbrook Broil and that well known jurist, Judge Jacob Job son. The cause of the disunion is frivo- lous indeed Mir Broil Is an old gentle. man of supreme dignity, and the most heartless wag would not dare to take any liberties with him and, a knowledge ot this fact gave the reverend gentleman | somewhat morbid idea of his own impor- tance.
 Several days ago MT. Broil called at the judges house and made known his intention of spending the night under the judges roof. The judge, of course, was delig ghted, and, addressing his friend, said |;
 "Ah, Brother Broil, you do not know how much pleasure your presence affords us all. By the way, we have just bought q new bed and you shall sleep on 1t to- night"
 '' Brother Jobson." replied the preacher In that careful measurement of tone and that monotonous sounding of syllable whIch are, by some people, thought to compose the right bower oi impressive ness, "l am deeply obliged to you tor tho care which you manifest with regard to an sld servant, wAo has f,r many years been at work where the breakers Of sia dash heavily against shore oi iniquity, sorely beset by Satan who seems ot late years to have been particularly, yea, per tinaciously active and jealous ia the un- holy cause which drags men down to the yawning gulf of perdation that gnashes it's teeth and shakes its tangled mane as 1t reArs and plunges, holding high in Its blood-stainsd hand the wine cup which ioams and gIares with red eyes upon the crushed mass of flesh which tails upon its knees and loudly implores mercy from inc double headed monster whose tongue IS blaze of fire and whose horns laugh in mockery and the shorn lamb who Tn degradation and rags smites it's breast ID an uish and cries woe IS me, and"
 "Yes," said the judge, "you are right. ! was thinking yesterday that l-wcll, l thought about il all" Tae judge, fearful of another onslaught, a,tempDe to change the subject. By the way" said he, "I understand that you contemplate raising a crop of cotton this yeas."
 "Yes, for it is not meat to murIls the OK which srcadeth out the grain of in. iouity in a sin accursed world ter must make enough money to satisfy my imme- diase demands which are not gr at but which, are nevertheless pressing; % much 90 that if do not receive more money than my flock has ot late been contributing the wolf will knock at my door and de- mand admittance in the name of the evil one and will, with aecursed delight, strike his oofs together and dance in"
 q think" the judge broke in, "that you will prove to be aa excellent planter"
 "Yes, with proper energy and that smile which Providence can bes,ow may succeed in compelling the giant wolf to leap over the fence and run away, leaving me to rejoice as l sec his coat tails Tapping in the ambient air of pro- pitious circumstances which would un- doubtediy do for, Brother Jobson, 1 have had q hard light ia this sin accursed world which we ios brief season are forced to inhabii world where there Is much weeping among the children of men. An, here is Sister Jobson. am more than delighted to see you, for 70 know not the day nor the hour when we shall be called upon to put aside ur earthly garments"
 They talked until late hour, then af- ter prayer which anathematised the world and all the sppertenances and ap- pliances thereunto had been uttered, the good minister vas escorted to his room
 A young fellow. a nephew oft the judges boarded with the family; and, the day before, to play joke on some one. he cared not whom, he had taken all the slats, but the middle one, out of the bed.
 Brother Broil," said the judge, "this is the new bed, which, l may say, is pre- pared especially for you. Good sighs."
 Gf thank vou brother. for vouy kinA