Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-01
1 Dreadful Situation


and the women ought to attend to it them.
selves. I got a friend into az awful lot OF
trouble recently by giving hita q commits
sion. Coming home from the theatre be-
came aware Of something wrong where I
couldn't conveniently get at it. part Of
my standing rigging had worked loose, and
stocking was slipping down into lot
OF miserable, uncomfortable fci;ia about nv
ankle. OF course had lost 8 gerler. NJ
companion noticed my preoccupied sir and
inquired the cause, and when ! told him he
joking|y inquired If he was eynecled to
make good all losses incurred while | was
under MS protection. As it would be in.
convenient TO go cut in the morning, I ac
cepted his suggestion aud told him he could
get me pair on bis way down town a.G
send them up hy q messenger. The moor
man was Vislbly agitated, bnt he wouldn't
back out and, rather rucful!v accent
ed the commission. He had = Ter
ribie time the next day. He thought
ne would step into Il iirst-class store, but
when be got there his courage began to ooZe
out. The place was full Of women, and he
thought they were just waiting for him to
come in and ask fer garters. Ev4rv woman
who passed him locked al him as though
She knew what he was after, aud vas silent
Is laughing at him. So ne weakened and
kept on down toWn Finally he s1aaked
around u corner when he thought n0!;ciy
was looking, and Iuytiveis lodged into tho
door of a small sore that seemed e. be
nice, quiet place and to present possibilities
of garters, judging by the works of art dis
played in tie widow. BE stepped up to
the counter nearest he door ard toll the
salesWoman what he wanted, in 8 way that
indicated great haste. | believe he added
that he wanted to catch train.
we don't keep gents furnishings" size
replied.
Then he said he wanted them for = lady.
and she rej0lnGd in her regular cash here
VoiCe:
Next 10 the last counter on Ghc other
side for ladies' garters."
lie was the only customer in the store,
and all the clerks were young women, but
no braced up and started for the other end
Of the apartment, which locked like The
perspective Of a prairie road l. seemed to
hin that ne never would reach the vanish
ing point, with ail those girls looking at
him. He tried TO walk firmly. and Of course,
trarnped like 81 horse. Then he essaved
the easy, uuconcerned glide, scuned aloog
like schooihoy and caught a splinter in
the sole of his boot that caused him 10 stun.
bic and lose both his balance nad his self
command. He tried to get his bearings
from the Autographs on the walls picturng
all sorts of feminine harness in active ser
vice. As the Autographs hegaa 70 grow
more interesting he concluded that be was
about in the latitude Of gar:ars and pulled
up at q counter, his face red an'i his eyes
blurred, and asked the girl for carriers, ex-
pcctinS her TO hand them over forthwith
and put an end 20 the trouble. Poor little
innocent! The young woman smiled cold
Is and said
''What kind. please y
"Oh, the best you have" he replied, pain
fully conscious that his ears were blazing
red
But what styio DO you want?" she re,
joined, evidently enjoying bis plight He
didn't know, as hadn't give him any spec
ifications, and probably it never before DC.
! CURED to him that there could be more than
one kind. 1t wes useless for him to attempt
to escape. Ali The clerks were watching
him, or seemed to be. So he asked WHIST
style was generally used, aud the clerk pro
ceeded to exhibit and explain the various
styles. She showed him suspender gertera
| attached to waist belt dress reform ger
ters, garters that hitch on To the side Of the
corset, garters of every imaginable kind,
and when ne seemed dazed by her descrip-
| tions she took down Autographs and MI
nutely pointed out the way of wearing pat
ent stocking harnesses. He was bewi!dered
and helpless, ead gazed at her appealingly
! for help. At last he a;aiamered: What
kind do you" but was checked by an icy
"Sirl" Then All inspiration of genius
born of despair, came to him, and be blurt-
ed out:
what kind would you be mos! likely TO
| lose off in the street ?n
He made his escape with Il pair Of old.
| fashioned circular elastics, which no woman
who cares to preserve tie natural curve
and shape of her limbs will wear, and sent
them up by messenger, with note beg
gng to be excused from future shopping er-
rands. Those instruments OF torture are ia
my museum as mementoes Of masculine in-
capacity to master the intricaces of wo-
mans Delaying tackle. Clara Belle in Gin.
! cinati Enquirer.
Bigger than EsarthOldi's.
II