The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-29

Nanbsr 81 Afkaasas Disnltariss . NJ.
spair.
Judge fullerton. wen known jurist
and . gentleman Of the old Arkansas
school, treated with scorn the idea that
he best turkeys come from the North.
he holds the opinion that the Arkansas
turkey is the best in the world; in fact,
,e goes further and declares that no
,ne but the old-time negro understands
cooking the great bird. Several days
ago. the Judge, meeting old Harkney.
said to him:
'Harkney, am going to give a din
ner at my house next Wednesday and !
want your assistance.
Eyer kin git it. Jedge. Whut yer
want me ter doP''
II want You to get me q couple Of
turkeys, the best you can find, cook
them nicely and bring them to my
house just before dinner time, say about
twelve o'clock.
"rn do dat. fur knows whar ter git
de bes' in de country"
IAN right. What will you charge
me?''
"Wall. sab, I thinks dat gittin' 'em,
an cookin' 'em an fetchin' 'em ter yer
house oughter be wuf f. dollars.
That's pretty steep, but 60 ahead
and be sure to come on time"
"I'll do it.
Harkney. having no money, was puz-
zled to decide upon plan of action. He
knew that turkeys were in demand and
that their ro0sts were closely watched.
At length he concluded to take his old
army gun, go out into the woods and
kill couple of wild turkeys. He went,
but could find none. He needed five
dollars and he hated to relinquish the
enterprise. The next day he took his
gun and went out again, but his i'll luck
Of the day before was repeated. His
spirits were very low as he walked to-
ward home.
Oars no chance fur er homes man
heah," he unused. "Great mine ter kill
er couple O. dem buzzards. Wander sets
two on de groun'. Use nightly tempt
ed" he continued as he rested his gun
on the fence. '.Da's right up clost ter
gedder. Lemme see how coul' teck
sight"
He glanced along the gun-barrel.
The gun fired. The buzzards fell over
and fluttered. Harkney climbed up on
the fence and looked all round. Nc
one was in sight. He approached the
dead buzzards. He had to hold his
nose. He took them to bayou and
dressed them as well as he could. Then
putting them into sack he took them
home. That night he worked on them.
He scalded them, rubbed them with
lime and ashes then proceeded to bake
them. He took down quart bottle OF
cheap perfume a negro al.
ways has on hand-and from time to
time basted the buzzards with the
liquid. When the buzzards were cook.
ed, they were certainly dark. but there
was no scent of their original Odor
hanging about them. just before set.
ting out for the Judges residence. he
gave the gobblers another cologne bath
He took them around to the Judges
kitchen and said to the cook:
''Heahs de dark got blers promised
de Jedge. Whar is de gennerman?"
"In de house. NY. how sweet den
birdsdo smell. Whut yer say da is?"
Ozark gobblers-wild ones, honey.
Go tell de Jedge dat Use heah."
When the Judge came out, he sur.
veyed the buzzards and said:
"Harkneyi they are not very large
"Oh, no, sab, dis sorter turkey doar
grow big. Da's called de dark gObblers,
an aldOugh dar meat is dark. it's DE-
;weetes' meat in de worl'. / Just hap |
pened ter git desc. Da's de fust 1 hal |
seen in dis country fur twenty yeahs
Jes' smell o. 'em Jedge."
''Ah. hail." said the Judge when he
had shifted the cologne. ''they do smell
sweet. Well, here's your money" !
.'Thank yer, sab. Say, Jedge, ez
had so much trouble gittin' dem darh
yobblers doan yer think yer oughter cir |
ne jes' er bout er dollar mo-? 1t wuz
,ard work er gittin' 'em, an er restunt
nan down town said da oughter be wui
light dollars in de least"
''Well. here's another dollar"
''Thankee. sah."
When the company had sat down t.
the Rev. DIR. Bogglewortl
lad asked blessing-the Judge said:
II have the'pleasure of introducing yor
Ill to kind of meat you doubtless
never saw before. Those birds are darh
yobblers, species of wild turkey now
rare. DR.. Boggleworth, viii
7ou please carve one?"
The doctor took the carving knife.
lrew one of the dark gobblers TOWARD
him, and began to cut into the flesh. A
tifling stencil arose. The doctor put
|own his knife, turned away from the
able, and gasped. The Judge, whose
lose had begun to wrinkle, attempted tt
ay something but could not. The odol
rev more pronounced, and, with ont
impulse, the company arose from the
able.
"They are buzzards," the ministe,
yasped. Let us 60 out and stand ir
he lot.''
The Judge was disposed to take
'hot-gun and kill Harkney, but he knew
hat man occupying his position coult
lot well afford such a measure. Severa
lays elapsed before he met the old ne.
.ro. Harkncy attempted to dodge the
Judge. but, when finally cornered, ht
ook off his hat and said:
"Mawnin', Judge. mawnin', sah."
Il am thinking" replied the Judge,
triving to be calm, ''if it would not bt
,etter, law or no law, to take CUR
md kill YOU"
IVY Jedge, W ats de matter wild yer?'
"You infamous scoundrel, to brins
ne buzzards."
"Who fotch yer buzzards?"
"You did"
'Huh, OATS mighty cuis- Wall
ledge, / got to 90 on down heah an