St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-11-08

with. She was smtlen with her fathers con-
fidential clerk, and her visits to the old man
Office were frequent. The other day she came
up, and when she left the confidential clerk
got intos the elevator with her tc
see her safely at the bottom.
Chucking the elevator boy under the ribs ne
said: John, show the lady how fast you
can CO." The words were hardly finished
when John pulled the lever, and they went te
the bottom like a shot. There was little
scream from the girl, and the confidential
clerk had just got his arms around her when
the elevator stopped, but he hardly knew the
face that be saw in the glare of daylight thai
came through the doorway. The head was
partly covered with short, wiry black halr,
and on the top was a spot as barren ano
sidney as billiard ball. and the cheeks,
moment before so plump, were badly shrunKen
The sudden change was explained In pair
of false teeth, a jaunty hat and goiden wig
that lay on the floor at the feet of the con-
fidential clerk. The fight had been so rapid
that the girl had dropped from under them
The confidential clerk has thrown up MS
job and skipped the town, and the girl now
walks round the streets with lost, strayed or
stolen cast of countenance.
49,
1t is said that William Henry Smith, the i'm
perial monarch of the Associated Press, is
not as proud as he should be of the family
name. He has given it out on various oc-
casions that in the name of Smith there is
not enough individuality and poetry to stir
up much admiration in his soul, and he is re-
ported to have said that he didn't want his
name written on his tombstone, for people
would stop at his grave and read it, and say:
Smith. Smith; I wonder what Smith that is. y
William has son. and when the young
man got old enough TO understand what his
father was talking about, the elder Smith
took him out into the woodshed one day and
said: MY boy, you have been unfortunate
enough to be born into family of Smiths,
but thank God, there is an avenue OF es-
cape for you. By applying to the legislature
you can have your name changed. Now,
advise you TO get yourself before the
world as Smithson. There is individuality
in that name and besides it is literally true.
Have your name changed to this anyway,
and. then you wont be wasting time wonder
ing which Smith you are.''
mo, my wealthy parent" replied the son,
"You will die some day, and if you don't
happen to make a will, l think I shall find 1t
more profitable to be Mr. Smith than Mr..
Smithson. Wen overlook the question OF
individuality for a few years. 1 can stand il
if you cam
~
Any man who wagers money on the strength
of information secured over telephone wire
deserves to be badly beaten. A few nights
ago young man in a down town saloon
IN nil IN RI m a
some stuff. I'm going to telephone the news
paper office and get an inside tip on who will
be governor, and I'm going to win stuff" He
went to the telephone and rang up the ed
itorial rooms of Leading daily paper
The political editor sat at his desk with
his hair standing on end and his
collar unbuttOned, wrestling with a column
of figures yard long, that represented the
election returns from the various counties in
the state. The sharp jar of the telephone
bell broke in on his calculations, and dropping
his pencil in the middle of a column of figures
he yelled, Condemn the telephone. l expect
some pimple-nosed politician wants to know
who's governor. That's the thousandth time
that phones rung to-day. McGIITs elected.
but I'll be DANCED if | don't tell him that
Ames's 1000 ahead" and taking down the
puOu0 VIII JcTh NC ytlIS'
"Hellol is that the GLOBE? comes back
over the wire.
"Y-a-a-a-a-s, - bowls the political editor.
"How's electioa?"
"All right
"How would you bet?''
"On Ames, of course, he's got 1900 major
ity up to the latest returns
Good
''Where are your
down to BIS saloon
''Oh, yes"
much obliged
Don't mention it,
Dashing up the phone the political editor
turned to the exchange editor: II reckon that
young dude ii get tired of teephoning about
election returns after paying of his bets. I'll
teach him.
About half an hour later the political editor
strolled into BIS saloon, and found wild
eyed fellow in there flashing up q roll that he
wanted to bet on Ames.
III take some OF that said the political
editor.
You'd better go slow, unless you can
afford to lose the money" said the brash
young man. ''I'll tell you, now, I've got an in
side tip, so you see L don't take any advantage
of you. stand in with the newspaper boys"
~ don't care who you stand in with" said
the POLITICAL editor. 'Ill take hundred OF
that even money on McGill.'
'All right, rash man., said the man with
the roll as he counted out hundred dollars
and deposited it with the barkeeper. The
political editor got drink and went out. He
rushed back to the office and sent the ex-
change editor, managing editor and City ed
itor down to the saloon, aud they each got a
hundred dollar bet with the man who stood
in with the newspaper men.
Yesterday the editors went around to col
lect their money. They found the solid man
with his back to the stove looking in disin-
terested way out through the window.
"Give EN- the money" he said; ''d-n a
newspaper man anyhow. They don't know
when they're well treated. They'll rot before
I'll ever telephone them again about any
thing" and his face assumed a look of in
nocence. The editors tucked their money
down into their pockets, made some remark
about newspaper men being very unrelia-
BILE class of people, set up the drinks and
went out, congratulating themselves that
probably one man in the city had been fixed
so that he wouldn't monkey with the editorial
telephone for some time to come.
SKETCHER.
A Subscriber-Ryan and Sullivan fought
sixteen rounds in Mississippi.
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ID a & r.