Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-08-01
THE YOUNG ANALYST

but. unless a really remarkable faculty o
ontGrowing his trousers may be so re
rsTied, could not for some time discove,
that he had any, by dint, however. o.
careful observation and cross examination
Of the household elected that he was adj
dicted to making extremely offensive
smells in the hack kitchen with chemicals
and that he had what is called ]collec
tion" OF beetles and other unpleasant in.
sects struck on pins in the box in his bed
roo'n. 1t appeared. therefore, that his
proclivities were scientific, and l ulti.
mately decided to make an analyst of him.
Augustus, first demand on taking up
his new occupation was a microscope.
And while you're about it, y he suggested,
~it had better he a good one. He assured
me that the microscope was nowadays the
very sheet-anchor of analytical science"
The ~sheetanchor" completely took the
wind out my of sails Il feel that there is
rather confusion OF metaphor here. but,
not being nautical person, / don't feel
competent TO set it right.) / surrendered
humbly remarking that | supposed a Is
note would cover il. The youthful analyst
laughed me to scorn. The very least, he
assured me, that good microscope could
be got for would be el0 or Gl2 Ulti-
mately agreed TO purchase one at 10 gum
eas, and congratulated myself that at
any rate that WAS done well On the CON
trary, II was only inst begun. No sooner
had my analyst secured his microscope
than he began TO insist upon the purchase
OF number of auxiliary appliances,
which, II appeared, no respectable micro
scope would be seen without He broke
them TO me by degrees At first he only
mentioned, il l remember right, an Sachro-
matte condenser" at 2 guineas. Next
came double nosepiece" (why double
don't knowe then-a polarizing apppara-
tus and a camera lucida "a pounds
l0)' then a micrometer, and microtome
CS gulneas more); then somebody's prism
at i pound 5; and somebody's mi
crospectroscope, at l don't know how
much. Here. however, / put my foot
down. am compelled here to regard the
sordid consideration of price, though
science doesn't
So far as my observation went, nv an
alyst's private study had hitherto been
confined to a short pipe and the last num-
ber OF some penny dreadful: but did not
think it wise To check newborn ardor;
oontented myself by observing that |
only hoped he would stick to it."
mo fear of that he rejoined, as indig- 1
nantly as a lmpet might have done in |
answer TO the same observation why, |
microscopy is the most fascinating study |
out just take a squint at that now"
looked down the tube, and saw a sort
of network of red fiber.
I'll bet pence you can't tell me what
that is~ he exclaimed triumphantly.
lowned the soft impeachment
That's the maxillary gland Of rat
Isn't it lovely, Here's another Now,
just look at that" "a queer, granular
looking object) You don't know what
that issp
-Give it up" said.
That's section Of the epidermis of the
great toe
Great toe!7 exclaimed In disgust.
What on earth have analysts got to do
with great toes,'
~oh, nothing particular" he said. airily
: But we like TO have as much var ETY. as
possible. should like TO have a section
of everything. if | could get it, Here's
another pretty slide; that is the section
Of diseased potato, and this one is bit
OF frogs leg
very instructive, dare saw" re-
marked: ~but hope you haven't made me
spend $40 merely TO improve your ac-
potatoes Mr.. Scrutin surely doesn't ana
lyze such things as theses"
Il can't say we do much in frogs legs
he said; -but there are lots of things adul-
'erated with potato. Flour and arrowroot,
and butter, and cocoa, and-and-a heap
II things. And the potatoes just as likely
10 be diseased as not. 1t may be, anyhow,
and there You arei IL you don't know what
diseased potato looks like, you're done"
"A pleasant lookout" | replied, "if half
, dozen of the commOnest articles of food
ire hahitually adulterated."
BLESS You, that's nothing he replied;
of course they don't put in enough to kill
Tou right of. And if you find something
ilsagreeing with you, you can't swear |
What it is. IL may the nuX vomica in the !
'eer; but it's just as likely TO be entozoa I
n the water, or copper in the last bottle of c
'ickles. However. you're all right now. a
With an analyst in the family at any rate I
ou shant be poisoned without knowing q
l. I'll let You know what You are eating
nd drinking. This fellow"-and he patted c
he microscope affectionately-@will tell 2
ou all about that" p
And it did. From that day forth have Il
ever enjoyed a meal, and | never EXPECT e
o do so again. have always been par a
iculsr to deal at respectable establish a
nents and TO pay fair price, in the hope {
( insuring good article. / have, or hsd,
very tolerable appetite, and till e
hat dreadful microscope came into q
he house | used TO get a good ,
cal of enjoyment out of life But n
ow all is changed. My analyst s
egan by undermining my faith in our II
aker. Now, If there was one of our Ia
radesmen in whom. more than another, II
had confidence, it was the baker, who u
upplied what seemed TO me good, solid, u
article, with no nonsense about a
!. But one day, shortly after the conver- v
alton l have recorded, my analyst re "
Iarked at breakfast time: I'VE had a 81
urn at bread yesterday at the laboratory. u
five samples, and found three Of
m adulterated And do you know I
olding up piece of our own bread and
melting il critically-"I rather fancy this tu
ours is rather dicky." ST
@NOnsensel | cried Its very good bread. III
capital breadl" Or
you may think So he continued, We
almly; -but you're not an analyst | cn
hall take a sample of this to the labora- tn
,ry, and you shall have my report upon in
On his return home in the evening he wi
egan: 1--WE been having a go-in at your m
read It's not pure, of course; but there tn
MT very much the matter with it. ar
here's little potato, and a little rice, tn
nd a little alum; and with those addi- We
ons it takes up good deal more water be
IAN it ought, SO you don't get your proper M
eight" av
"AhemI" said; "if that's the case well oc