The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-13
The Cpntinede.

SeHUlpeQeS can Do IOunu WITHOUT
much trouble, particularly if they hap
pen to be in your clothing, but the best
place to study the tournure of the in
sect is at drug store. Most Texas
druggists keep a few centipedes and
tarantulas preserved in alcohol as q
kind of an attraction. Although re-
sembling the desperate in many other
respects, when the centipede is in
liquor he is calm AID genteel. and it is
perfectly safe to make remarks about
him. When the desperate is in whisky
he is apt to resent familiarities, other
wise there is not much to choose be-
tween them, except that the centipede
can't shoot off six shooter and defy
the local authorities. This goes to show
that like causes do not always produce
the same effect.
The centipede is not very active in
sect, and he is not much of vocalist.
but the quantity of latent energy and
the spontaneous flow of elo1uence that
he can coax out of the most quiet of
men is surprising. When he seizes the
cuticle of a victim with his jaws, anchors
his two hooks in his flesh, and, hum
ing himself, clinches his numerous
sharp pointed toes, the geology in that
part of the county, and also the fourth
commandment. is liable to be wrecked
by the violence of the behavior of the
aforesaid sufferer. 1t is fact, how
ever, that very few persons die from
the bite of the centipede. 1t is the
centipede that dies.
i he centipede has a worse enemy
than man. 1t is bird with long tail
and top-knot, whose mission seems to
be to decrease the number of cent?
pedes. The bird is called by some the
chapparal cock, by others the road run
ner. The Mexicans call him Ell c1pordi,
or the corporal. Why the Mexicans
give this bird military title / can't
tell. Perhaps it is on account of his
top-knot, or, more plausible still, be-
cause he can run so fast. The corpo-
raj in the Mexican army is almost as
hard to overtake as a general, and this
road runner is remarkable for his
speed. He can give points to an alb
sconding bank cashier. He runs like
compound interest on note of hand.
" ell, this would-be reformer regards
the centipede as an offensive partisan,
and removes him so effectually that the
centipede finds himself in distressing
minority. Although the centipede is
copiously provided with legs, one road
runner can run faster than all the cent
pedes in the State of Texas.
When the road runner, or chapparal
cock, overtakes an offensive partisan of
a centipede he seiZes the obnoxious in
sect by the head and gives him q shake
to straghten out the kinks. BY pc
culiar motion this reformer passes the
centipede through his bill sideways,
pretty much as q linen collar is passed
through a patent clothes wringer, and
lets him drop on the other side. After
that the centipede is destitute of politi-
cal aspiration. He makes no objection
to being swallowed. He is crushed.
Then the bird gobbles up the centipede
endways, very much after the manner
Of an Italian lazaroni hiding away a
few feet of macaroni.
One Sunday morning a colored cler-
gyman was preaching with great iervor
IN the Austin Blue Light Tabernacle
on the worldliness of mankind. He
said. earnestly; de trubbe wild de
most oh you niggahs am dat you hab
got yer eyes sot on lie dings ob dis
yarf. Belubbed breddren and sstern,
| look at de dings what am above, and de
Lord will shower down blessing on yer
heads"
| AS he muttered these words he rolled
up his eyes until the whites. or rather
the yellows, alone were visible; but all
at once, "a change came o'es the tablet