The Daily clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1888, 1886-03-03
DAILY CLARION.
ThcatrlcaI Court hip.

Theatrical c0aHship is something that
can6ot b. witnessed with feelings o.
->nndimmed ioy b, anybody who knows
anythinx abOcl that sor. Of business
from actual pfaeie1 II may seem all
right % bashiul peoplc aud persons Of
bad breath OF limited opportunities for
man 10 throw ~ his hands and beg
for woman heart the smue rs he
would plead for q pa,r u old shoes If his
feet were freezing; bot every man who
ever dodgd poialo-masher knows
that wonans affections are not won
in that way. and ihe noodle who ex-
poets to bask in The bliss oi love re.
turned without discount will discover
after bit tlmt he has been fooling his
time away, II he keeps on monihing nj
her from q distance and saying his little
piece as though il WAS something he Rad
committed 10 speak al a ward caucus.
Fishing for womnn's lenF; Is good
deal easier than pulling in trout. Il you
know how TO 60 about II. but don't un-
dertake Il according TO the plans and
specifications III use behind the loot
lights, young man. or You may reycr
attend q lecture course IN your own bed.
room.
When n man pops the question in n
play be tumhlcs down on his knees and
bleats Il ont like lamb that has got
lost and feels bad about IL, and then II
the girl says moi" as any righi-minded
woman would be sure 10 do. he gives
her look that would sour milk. swears
10 be- revenged, and skulls out with
eyes At a half-cock. joins band Of rob
bcrs and makes himself disagrecabIe
from that time on. II anything will
make sensible woman Stub man. II
Is 10 have him flop down on his knees
and mike goose Of himself in that
way. The right way 10 pop the qucs-
ton, as we have boon informed by grad
yates IN that pleasing science, Is not 10
monkey around like moutncr nj
camp-Inecting. whining like tramp at
a back door, but to go 81 Il like man
with blood In him. with the strongest
arm around the girls waist and her lips
within kissing distance. This bcats TIE
prayer-meciing style all TO nothing. and
gives a man some show TO 20 TO heaven
with his boots on. In case tho answer
is favorable, as II Is very apt TO be ii the
previous negotiations have been properly
conducted no man whose head IL not
hollow needs a guide book to inform him
what TO do next. From that time till
marriage he walks on air. and feels as
joyous as boy IN swimming The
sight Of thrco-loggod cook-siove in
front Of secondhand store fills him
with emotions he never knew before,
and he feels NJ pence with all the earth,
no matter how much he may owe his
tailor
But how Is il with the lover with the
low-cut vest and sheet-iron shirt front,
who has not bruised his shins in vain In
the stenclled halls Of the muslin palucep
II he Is accepted, instead OF taking the
unfortunate woman 10 his arms in
long, lingering embrace that nnkes
heaven seem little moro than Il way
station, he brings the tips Of her iiugms
10 his lips with iorly. convnlsiyc sort
OF grab, sobs out his thanks IN voice
like wind blowing through u knot hole,
drops her hand like hot potato.
plungos into the forest and is seen no
more,
ltfkas been claimed that tho theatre is
a fchool IN which lessons Of the highest
sFlue are taught, bnt rs an academy for
the diffusion Of knowledge In regard TO
courlship,wc insist that II is mere kim
dergaricn compared 10 othermeans with
m the reach Of every stripping who owns
a Sunday shit. An old maid can give Il
young man mora points about sparkling
ut single sitting than hc would pick
up q y high-prieed theatre in live years.
Chicago Ledger,