The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1886-07-30


papers. l am quite an old man, and have
written my kindly words OF advice to the
presa for the many years, l am the friend
Of the public and the guiding star Of the
American newspaper. l point out the
proper course for a newly elected member
oil Congress and show the t~houghtleas
editor the wants OF the people. write
on the subject Of political economy, Also
on both sides Of the paper. Some times |
write on both sides OF the question,
When l do 30 | write over the nGme OF
Taxpayer, but my real name Ia Yeritss.
am the man who first suggested the
culvert at the Jim street crossing, 80 that
the water would run of toward the pond
alter the rain, With my ready pen
ready and trenchant also, as | may say-I
have In my poor, weak way, suggested q
great many things which might otherwise
nave remained for many years ulsug-
gested,
/ am the man who annually calls for a
celebration OF the Fourth OF July In our
little town, and asks for some young elo-
culionists to be selected by the committee,
whose duty II shall be 10 read the DeCla-
ration OF Independence in a RhTill VoiCt to
those who yearn to be thrilled through
and through with patriotism.
Did not speak through the columns OF
the press in clarion tones for a proper OBJ
servance OF our nations great natal day in
large gothic extended caps the nations
starry banner would remain iurled and
the creased pig would continue to crouch
In It's lair. With the aid OF my genial CO.
workers, Tax Payer, Old Settler, Old Sub
sCIiber, Constant Reader, U. l.. See, Fair
Play and Mr.. Pro Bono PubliC), | have
made the world q far more desirable place
in which to live than 1t would otherwise
have been.
My co-laborer, Mr., Taxpayer, Is an old
contributor to the paper, but he Is not
really q tax payer. He uses this signature
Ia order to conceal his identity, Just as l
use the name OF Verltas. We have a great
deal OF fun over this at our regular annual
reunions, where we talk about all Jul
affairs.
Cd Settler is a young tonderioot who
came here last spring and tried 10 obtain
a livelihood by selling an indestruCtible
lamp chimney. He did well for several
weeks by going to the different residences
and throwing one Of his glass Chimncys
on the floor with considerable force TO
show that 1t would not break. He did a
good business till one day he made a mis-.
take. Instead Of getting hold OF his ex-
hibition chimney he picked out one OF
the stock and burst it beyond recognition.
Since that no has been writing articles in
violet ink relative 10 the old times aud
publishing them over the signature Old
Settler.
Ord Subscriber 10 q iriond Of mine who
reads his paper at the hotel while waiting
for a gratuitous drink. Fair Play Is q rs-
tired monte man and Pro Bono PubllCo Is
our genial and urbaue undertaken.
am a very prolific writer, but all my
work Is not printed. A venal and corrupt
press at times hesitates about giving cur
renCy to such fearless, earnest truths as l
make use OF.
lam also the man thatsays brave things
through the columus-o Of the newspaper
when the editor himself does not dare to
say them because he is afraid he will be
killed. But what rpGks Veritas, the bold
and freel Does he finch or quail? Not a
finch; not q quail.
Boldly he hIngs aside his base fears, and
with bitter Vltupnration he assails those
he dislikes, and attacks with %resounding
blows his own personal enemies, fesrlessly
signing his name, Yeritas, to the article,
SO that those who yearn to kill him may
know Just who he Is.
What would the world do without Yer
itas2 1t Tire hands Of horde Of journal
lists who have nothing to do but attend to
their business, left with no anonymous
friend to whomthey can fly when moment.
Gus occasions arise, when the sound advice
and better Judgment OF an outside friend
is needed, their condition would indeed be
a pitisble one. But lie will never desert
US. Hois ever at hand, prompt to say,
over his nom de plume, what he might
hesitate to say over his own name, Tor
fear he might 20 home with q battle OF
Gettysburg under each eye aud o nose like
q volcanic eruption. He Cheeriully
attacks everything and everybody, and
then goes away till the fight, the funeral
and the libel suit Is over. Then he re-
tnrns and assailg the grim monster Wrong.
He proposes improvements, and the fol-
lowing week q bitter reply comes from
Tax. Payer. Pro Bono Publico, the retired
three.Card.monteist, says; "Let US have
the proposed improvement, II g4rdless Of
cost" Then the cynical U. L. See who
Is really the %janitor at the blind asylum
grumbles about useless expense, and
finally draws out from the teeming brain
OF Constant Reader a long, llabby essay,
written IN red.tuled leave0, cut out Of On
old meat.market ledger, written econom-
ically on both sides with light blue ink
made OF bluing and cold tea. This essay
introduces, under the most trying CirCum.
stances, suCh crude yet original literary
gems asst
"wad some power the glllc gpC Us" 60
He also says:
"Thc wee EmG' hours ayAnt tho twa."
And further on:
nBrcRtheS there q man with soul so dead
WhU never to himself hath said, 90.
Ills essay Ia not 80 much the vehicle oil
thought as II is tho accommodation train
for Fragments Of his old school deClama.
tons to ride on.
But TO Veritas we owe much. say tllH
because | know what l am talking about,
for am l not old Veritas himseltV Haven't
| been writing things for tho papers ever
since papers were puhllshed2 Am ] not
the man who for years has been q stranger
TO iear2 Have ! not again and again
called the Congressman, the capitalist, tho
clergyman, the voter and the ~philanthro,
pist every thing ! could lay my tongue 10,
and then fought mosquitoes In the deep
reCesses Of the swamp, while tho editor
remained at the Office and took the credit
Tor writing what ! had given him
for nothing7 Has not many paper built
up q name and q libel suit Upon what
have written, and yet l am almost un'
known2 When people ask, who 10 Vsri.
ta aud where does he live no n seems
10 know. lie iB up seven flights Of stalls,
In o hot room that smells Of old ClotheI
aud neglt uled thoughts. Far from the
"madding throng," ns Constant Reader
has 30 truly said, ! cit alone, with no
personal property but an oyerworked COS.
tune, a strong love for truth, and q shaw
strap full Of suggestions 10 the ovetestl'
mated man who edits the paper.