The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-08-11
HOW IT is DONE.
Story of the Purchase, Fitting and Max
Ing of Feminine Suit.

nv" DoNEs
Story of the Purchase, Fitting and Maxi
Ing of Feminine Suit.
l saw Grahams wife pricing dress
goods yesterday, and I know what's
going to happen. Indeed, I can give
you the programme without variation.
She will be three days buying the goods,
and us soon as she gets the pattern
home she'll sit down and weep because
she ddn take one of the Others.
After she has braced up she will in
duce him to buy her four dollars worth
of fashion magazines, and she will Dor
row every fashion plate in the neigh
borhood. On top of that she will ask
at least fifty women how she ought to
make it up.
The next step is to find dress-maker
one who is reasonable in her charges
who won't steal the cloth-who has
got taste-who is responsible if she
makes mistake. ...... u..s
About fifty women will oe consulted
as to the dress-maker, and Mrs. Ora
ham will finally make selection. At
ter she has made it she will be sorry
that she didn't take one of the others.
Then come days of anxiety for the
Graham household. A fashion is Sc
lected after many headaches, and Mrs
Graham is measured. In three days
she is to come and be fitted. The three
days are given her in which to worry
for fear she wont have enough cloth, or
the sleeves will be too short or too
long, or the skirt will be too full or too
scant.
Mrs. Graham has scarcely reached
home before a messenger calls with a
note. She hasn't got cloth enough by
five yards. She turns snow white. Gra-
ham, who happens to be home, turns
blood red.
Interval of half an hour for family
matinee, during which Graham brains
every dressmaker in town with an axe
helvc-in imagination.)
(More money-more cloth.)
Mrs. Graham goes down to be fitted,
and is put on the rack for an hour. This
seam is to be taken up and that one let
out, a little more fullness here, not
quite so much there. About the same
as sitting for six styles of photographs
and having three teeth pulled.
"Well?' growls Graham.
"Oh! it's going to he just too lovely!
You ought to see what perfect tit!'
The dress is to done Wednesday.
Graham drives his wife down, but one
of the apprentice girls has been ill.
Another trip on Thursday. Some Of
the trimming had to lie changed.
Third trip on Friday. Be done TO-
| morrow, for sure. The madame had tc
redrape it, you know!
The parcel comes up Saturday night
and Mrs. Graham wears smile once
more, and Graham has half mind tc
compliment the dress. He sits down tt
smoke aud she rushes upstairs to try
it on. r.
Interval of fifteen minutes to pre-
pare red and blue powder and imitation
thunder) ..., -..e.s.
(Smothered sounds of sobbing from
up-stairs.)
| "Hello! Mary! come down and let
see how you look
"W-William, come upn'
| "Well, now, what is it?"
.Oh! W-William, but told her t,
be sure to give me comfortable waist
| and here I can't button it to save m
life.''
(Silent Indignation on the part of Ora
| ham,
1 "And the s--sleeves are SO tight tina
! | can't raise my a-arms!' ft,
Veins on Graham's neck begin tx
stand out like broom-handles.)
land the Skirt is shorter benin
than in front! Oh! William, Tn
so disappointed''
(Three grunts, four shouts and forty
seven hard words from Graham, wit
such an imitation of thunder storr
that neighbors run out of their houses.
The dress goes back Monday. Oh, yes
it can be altered. but the madame SUP
posed she was making dress for fash
| ionablc lady. No fashionable lady ey
poets to raise her arms or draw CON
Portable breath.
Mrs. Graham goes down Tuesday.
Mrs Graham goes down Wednesday
Mr.. and Mrs. Graham 90 down Thur:
day and get the dress.
(Another interval of fifteen minute
to get out the war-club and load til
shot-gun.)
"Well?"
ut is all right this time, only
wrinkles in the back, Fuckers under tn
arms, and there ought to be MOI
padding on this shoulder. The draper
isn't very tasty, and one side of the ski
is an inch longer than the other, but it
right, my dear. You won't have
worry over it any MORE" U.s.
Interval of six weeks, and then Ora
ham goes through the same mill agail
and the family doctor advises him
leave the house he is living in for al
other in which there is no sewer gas
act as slow poison on his wife).--4
Qua0, in Detroit Free Press.