New-York tribune., 1886-04-01
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THE TALK OF THE DAY.

well.known Senator OF stately mion walked into
restaurant the otner day. ordered certain
dish and par OF IT, The next moment his handsome
despOied by frown. Calling tho waiter
he asked Indignantly:
DO you Rnow what tho difference is between the
Broadway Railroad scandal snd this dish 2"
"N-no, SIR" stammered the afrghted waiter
Tn Icv ones the OK. statesman said: The one is q
ricassee OF fraud the other a fraud of fricassee"
"Cant You give us something with sck in IT :" asked
Mr. Smarte last sunday. putting quarter on ne soua
oh, certainly" said tho polite attendant and he
wrapued up bottle OF muciage and swept the coin into
the drawer Boston Commercial Bulletin
The society editors tf many Western papers are telling
their readers that they can't much news these days
owing to the prevalence Of Lent.
The President sat silent at his desk intent upon
report OF the -enate proceedings in his case.
with the affairs OF t,te p
No, Daniel quite the reverse, responded the man OF
destiny.
With tie state OF affairs. or course.
"Ha ha I" replied Daniel With great gravity ana the
President chucked 1he Conssst9n@ Reco'a intJ mo-, tne
basket and 1t sank to the Dottom OUT Vi SsH'
Washington Critic.
There Is little town in Michigan near tho ONO lne
which is n favorlte resort for runaway couples who
cannot yet married in Ohio. This Western Grelna Green
Is M ned Bssdeld.
The san Francisco Wasp reminds it's readers that the
rulo prohibiting the eating OF meat In Lent applies TO
that of social carnibalism known as oackbitng
The Prohibition bsrkeepers o. Kansas have already
got out "A mi xed drink called PterOdactyL III Is one
halt water and the other half spoon. .-lWashington
Critic.
4 Chicago church, it s said. recently put up in the
vestinule this sign: salvation free but the pews
not" This must DC a st. Louis yarn.
A Cotton citizen tied ono end OF rope around his
waist the other day while he assoed Texas steer win
the other He thought he had the animal Dut at Ihe
dOf he 1rstl
him. san Fraucisco Chronicle
An American has been arrested and fined at Herbsta
France fol- joking in b,i German. Things are coming
TO pretty pass when American sovereign Is deprived
Of the sacred right OF joking, in bad Choctaw II he
chooses.
The life OF Mr.. Peter Cooper is about TO be Published
but doubt II IT cot tans any or te AMUSING ac"o.s
many demands apOD Mr. Cooper fgolu people wh,
seemed claim certain right TO ASK iaVos IRON so rch
and great hllanthrop-t lie was 20 DeSrt VIII, 'h
% the kind that clerk was employed to answer then
one wrote that she never had heen TO ne o era
would like to have him sen1 box SC that she mist
co. ard invite friends alsO another wantol seals KIN
we'll .forl 10 send her one While still another wrote
tna II she set Of falls teeth, costing 80
which amount she asked him TO send her she thought
she could got husband = Town Topics
The Dencer Tt6une RepuJca rebU kes Eastern people
for their of Colorado. II seems that the clti
zens do not really about the streets armed
to the teeth to protect themselves from prowling
savaees Denver Ia in fact safer than New-York; for
IL has had no Doodle Alderman 10 speak Oh
What kind OF fowl do yOn cali this = asked
boardPr of "A X st. landlsdy, he sawed away at a
piece on his pa'e.
Why Mr.. Jones, that's ddck-the real. genuine can
vas -bIck." she answered IN indignant astOnlshnent.
(anVas back, eh }" he queried. We'll, should say
the canvas had sippei IN front Bring me pair
OF scissors. "-tWashngton Critic.
"Anselma Is to be the of the new assembly
grounds ChaatGuqua Lake to ba opened by the nde
pendent Congreg aonalists. The name is derived from
that o. Ansel Archbishop OF Canterbury. who is
regarded as an apostle Of the theology.
The town OF Montrose, Neb boasts three newspapers
variety shows, twenty saloOus hotels. JAIL
and plans for a church.
An, Farmer Robinson said his fair city guest, how
quietly 1--WE out here in tue country. fOu are not
turbed by society quares political oXcliement, or
labor troubles, but al il cOmiOrtdbie and pleasant
Yes, miss s'pose 1t looks 80 To you But there's
society quarrel whos 10 slug alto
in choir next year, an rhe politics. Ben. johnson
shan't he selectman and for fabor
troubles, my hired struck yesterday because
wanted MIN mix the before breakfast. Oh, We
have little Of enjoy ment well as you city
folks. - Hartford Post.