Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-07-22
Top Knots.
j. A. MAY, OF sMELsER.

This gentleman was born in Kentucky
about sixty years ago. He came to Wis
consin when he was a young man, and
for some time was engaged in mining at
Benton. Mr.. May emigrated to Califor-
MIA in 1850. He stayed there three
years and came home in 1854, and
bought the farm on which he has since
resided. His farm consists of 200 acres
of choice land, well located and in
high state of cultivation. He has for a
number OF years given good deal of at
tention to horticulture and has been
reasonably successful in that direction.
When first introduced to the subject of
this sketch you would be apt to believe
that it would be difficult to get "a Joke
through this gentleman's head with
the aid of screw-driver, but his init
mate acquaintance know him to be
genial and jolly and altogether COM
panionable. He is a man of firm CON
victions and is fearless in giving express
sion to them. He is one of those square,
toed, up-and-downish sort,of men whom
you generally know where to find, and
never need fear to tie to. He is a warm
friend and good hater. If he has a
blessing laid up for you, you will be
sure to receive it, and if he undertakes
to show you the other side of the picture
you would better make yourself a leetle
scarce. Mr.. May was born and bred an
old-fashioned Jacksonian Democrat, but
by some hook or crook he got astride of
the Greenback colt; but when the thing
took to bucking he slid off and returned
to his first love.
W. 5. RICHARDS, THE MINNEAPOLIS
BINDER MAN.
We fear that farmers will never be
brought to full realization of the OBJ
legations that they are under to the inn
plement dealers. Had it not been for
those dealers the farmers would vet be
following the walking pillow, grading
and binding their grain by hand, and a
thousand and one other things that is
now but an celebrating recreation
would have to be accomplished by the
expenditure of bone and muscle. 1t is
to the taking ways and persuasive elo-
quence of the machine-men that the
farmers of the county are under ever
lasting obligations. If there is a man in
all America that can talk machine on
to a man, whether he wants it or not
and then make it work to his entire sat
isfaction, that man is w. S. Richards.
If you want to see him in all of his glory
YOU want to hear him expatiate on
the good qualities of the Minneapolis
twine-binder; it is then that he waxeth
eloquent
Not long ago the aforesaid W. S. r.
met with new experience. One MORN
ing a buXom widow who had not been
thousand years from the Emerald Isle
stepped into his office and addressed
him thusly: The top o the mornin' to
yez, Misther Agent. Be yez the mon
that sells that new koind of a machane
that cuts and bonds the harvest so nice
ly, and all yez has to do is to jist DROVE
the tame and take your ase the whole
bllssed day long? It's the Minnehaha or
Minneboohoo, / think they calls it; |
don't know perzactly which Moy name
is Bridget Maloney; me dare husbands
name was Pat, God rist his soul, its
foine tonne he is havin' wild boys down
below. Divela fault had he at all.
barrin'i he would sometimes take drop
too much, And it's foine lookin' mon
ne was, Misther Agent, and it's yerself
ne reslmbled, only he was couple of
OF hand-breadths The taller | thot that
II l had one of your foine machines me
and the schilder could do our bit of har-
vest. Now w. S. R,is the very pink
OF politeness, so he made his best bow.
ana IN neat speech described the good
qualities OF the machine, telling his fair
nearer it was the Minneapolis that she
wanted and he would show her how
nicely itwould do the binding. Then
the accommodating agent got lot of
straw, which the fair widow fed to the
machine, while the agent turned crank
to run the binder. The day was hot
one. The widow kept feeding on the
straw and the agent turned. and turned,
and sweat like a Niger at an election.
Finally the agent ceased turning from
sheer exhaustation. Then the fair widow
addressed the agent as follows: mis-
ther Agent, yez are a name, durthy de-
saving spalpeen, troying to sull that
kolnd OF machine to poor, lone Wild
dy TO do her harvesting wild. Yez told
me that all Oh had TO do was to iist
DROVE me tame and thake me aise. How
is the loikes of me to folly that machane
around the field the whole blissed day
long and turn that crank, whoilst its
jist killing You it is to turn it here in the
shade?n
MIR: K. tried to explain, but the widow
bolted out OF the door in high dudgeon,
leaving the agent cogitating upon the
nnscrutable ways of widows. NEXT.