Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-10
BRIGHT BITS.

AN EXCHANGE advertises thus; Wanted,
strong boy for bottlug." We have seen boys
ABOUT onion time who we're 80 strong that all
the bottles in christendom wouldn't hold EN-.
--Ddns0Sbte Breese.
DOES your son affect any particular school
OF artW asked the visitor.
''No--yes-wel, he's painting Beiiadonna
Tor the religious ART gallery" replied the fond
mother Eoehan0s.
stand.',
Eyes; to an old fame"
"Fhe next tn ng hell do will be TO smother
ner or put her out, suppose It'd Bits.
Tax IRON CHEST" is to be played for the
benefit Of the Brooklyn Home for Consump-
lives. IL man could keep bis lungs in an
iron chest there would be but little cOnsump-
ton. IL is the weak chest that catches it,
Neto orleans Pic1VHae.
FIRST DEALER.-So you arc going to pass
law forbIdding the sale of tobacco to minors.
Second Ditto-Yes, but / don't see how that
is going to interfere with our business so long
as we stick to the favorite brands-cabbage
leaves and old shoe leather, you know-BoSt0n
Transcript.
SARCASTIC wIFE-COming home as usual,
suppOse2
Fond -of-staying -out-late husband - Yes,
certainly.
Sarcastic wlfe-Weu. put this letter in the
first mail in the morning, and If You meet the
milkman tell him to leave two quarts
5uI0s.
"YoY have just returned from Paris, I'M
derstandE'
Yes, and we bought lots of lovely things at
the Bone Marsh"
You mean Bon Marche presume"
well, perhaps you understand French bet
ter than do. | see plainly you have never
been abrOad|'-BoSt6n Budgst.
"sAY, old man, III have to recall that in
yitation l gave you for dinner next Satur-
day.
Certainly; but, old fellow, hope there's
nothing wrong"
"Oh, nothing at all; but we've suddenly
taken a notion TO observe Lent at our house."
Yes. You see I dropped cool $4,000 in
stocks, and nay wife has discharged her cook.
I'm beginning to take an interest in religious
matters"
Not long ago a young man about town
called on certain young woman of mis- ac-
qualotance. He was promptly ushered into
the drawing room By a pretty servant maid,
VINO ran 10 the room of her mistress to an
nounee her visitor. ''Oh. ma am said she,
that most iilgant of gintlemen who danced
with me one night last summer up at the
PhPnlX Hill Park, ma'am, at the graved e
gers social. Is down in the parlor a-calliRg on
you, ma'8mp' The gentleman never called
Again.-Loais0ilLe Coi.sser ciaI.
THEN were sitting looking on at a perform
ance. They were two bosom friends of the
female sex. and they were discussing the
people on the stage. MY DEAR said one TO
pretty girl among the hgurantes, s'sthar's the
one Charley BrOwn-Jonesi is runDing after.
Poor, Mfs. BreWn-JOnes L wonder II she
recognizes her riVal?" That girl in blueYD
said the other. taking a long and comprehen-
sive look. 'Charley's developed quite good
taste since he got married. "--Sdn Francisco
Ceroaic1e. yH5ttFl
A VERY FALSE VIEW or JoUkN ALfsM.-
How ertile the brain OF the press correspond
ent Ilr
Whenever his editor asks for some news;
Though great be the task, he is never despond-
ent,
If only ne knows the great editors views.
He will spend every effort to get up telegram
Pnat gives naught but facts that around
HIM exist.
But. failing, he'll take an exact parallelogram
and make it a CIRCLE by twisting bis wrist.
Now, who IS to blame for this prevarication?
The man who refuses WI soon be relieved,
And too honest editors get but damnation
From people who like to be always deceived.
-C0tUn,bas Dispatch.
ONE day last fall a strange woman ap-
peared At a farm house in Indiana, and an
nOunced that she was a clairvoyant who had
come down from Chicago to show the farmer
where to dig up jug containing $4,000 in
ID. whats the charger" cautiously in
quired the farmer.
Two thousand dollars IN advance"
"Shoo! that's outrageous"
But think Of It! You will have $4,000
left"
''Y-e-s, suppose so, but reckon wen let
the old jug rest for while vet. l drawe $50
in a lottery asst month. and cleared 81 in A
bucket-shOp this week, and | don't keer to
pile Il on too thick Even now the old woman
wants new shoes, and the gals are crazy TO
have the house painted two coats."- WaH
Street Ne1os.