The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-11-02
M'TAVISH'S SOUP.
He "Paid Up" His Wife for Laugh
ing at It

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"Geordie" McTavish, retired factor
of the Hon. Hudson's Bay Company,
is, by long odds, the most delightful
Joker ever known. We are fast friends
and boon companions, having served
many years together in the wilds of the
Northwest, often sharing the same
canoe and tent, yea, even blanket and
pannikin, Little wonder then, at the
expiration Of long and arduous service,
that we drifbed to the same neighbor-
hood in which TO pass our ''latter
DAYS" and enjoy the comforts and de-
lights of civilization; or that every
year we for brief period were accus-
toned to cast off the restraints of the
latter, and in some measure renew old
associations In the forest and beside
the haunts of the brook-trout and
grayling.
i''Geordie" enjoyed camp life in all
it's phases, and especially loved TO dab
be in the mysteries of the cuisine,
whereat he was something of an adept.
The success here attained led to great
er and more elaborate efforts at home;
he was forever pottering in the kitch-
en-, trying numerous and varied eK-
perimentS, and even accumulated a
library of cookery and undertook the
study of French, with view TO enlarg-
ing the boundaries of his knowledge.
On one occasion he gave a Christmas
dinner to a number of his old cronieS,
every whit OF which was the prepare
ton of his own hands; and it being
voted success, he became so sgotisti-
cal, setting himself up as a culinary
critic on all occasions, that good Mis-
tress NcTavsh was forced to exclude
him from the kitchen altogether, on
pain of her own resignation of all
<household offices. Forced to capitu-
te, he gave over his practices, save
C5hly when the ''guid wife was frae
hame' upon her annual visit to friends
in the Maritime Provinces.
On one of the latter occasions | was
invited to partake of two new
''broiled sausage" and
s'duck soup"-which, 1 regret to say,
were fat failures and most horrible
..messes." A few days later and /
was again favored with an invitation
to dine, and accepted only on oondi-
fion he would confine himself to plain
dishes. such only as were supposed to
be familiar in preparation to the veriest
tyro. This time it was ''rice soup"
go yesi' he knew all about it. mo,
he had never made any, but it was,
"only bit of stock, bone, some hot
water, salt, dash of pepper, little
parsley, summer savory, and veg
enables to flavor, and just rice enough
for two. to thicken it! Any fool can
make THAR
At the proper moment, as supposed,
o quantity of dry and unwashed rice
| was poured into the pot. He had for
gotten, else never knew, that this
cereal increased in bulk several times in
cooking; and as for me made no pre-
tentions to knowledge of any kind in
such matters. Having thus gotten
I things under way to his satisfaction,
be tipped his char against the kitchen
wall for quiet pipe, while | adjourned
to book and easy-chair in the next
room.
Some little time elapsed, when / was
recalled by great commotion in the
kitchen-a sizzling and kissing inter
spersed with explosives, and an odor
most horrible. Here was GeOrdie bus.
lily engaged over the stove, brandishing
a huge skinner, with which he was
haaping up dishes with half-cooked
rice, as it poured in fieecy clouds over
the top of the pot, and that, too, much
faster than he could remove it. Al
ready half a dozen pie-tins and a
couple of bowls were heaped with the
superfuous cereal, but the bulk of the
obstreperous stuff was manifestly in
creasing. Finally, with a muttered
anathema, he seized the kettle by its
bail and flung the whole affair through
the open window, and sheepiShly sug-
gested we dine at the nearest hotel.
As luck would have il, Mistress Nc
lavish returned aweek later, and several
days before expected-''as she had no
business to do, so her lord and master
declared. s'That was the very day he in
tended to clean up! Imagine the
scene presented to a thrifty, orderly
housewives vision! The table piled a
YAH high with unwashed and broken
eroekery-the set ruined of course
not one of which had seen water for