Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-01-28

had scrambled out of the coach an,
was instinctively settling my cravat
when somebody brushed roughly b
me, and heard smart thwack upol
the coachman's ear.
Take that, you villan!' cried
strange, coarse voice. "You have ruin
ed me, you BLACKBOARD! shall neve
be the woman have been!'
And then came second thwack, aim
ing at the drivers other ear; but which
missed it, and hit him on the nose ,caus
ing terrible effusion of blood. Now
who or what fearful apparition was in
flicting this punishment on the poor
fellow remained an impenetrable mys.
terry to me. The blows were given by
a person of grisly aspect, with head
almost bald, and sunken checks, appar-
emily of the feminine gender, though
hardly to be classed in the gentler sex.
There being no teeth to modulate the
voice, it had a mumbled fierceness, not
passionate, but stern, which absolutely
made me culver like calls foot jelly
Who could the phantom be? The most
awful circumstance of the affair is vet
to be told, for this orgc, or whatever it
was, had riding-habit like Mrs. Bull
frogs, and also green silk calash
dangling down her back by the strings.
In my terror and turmoil of mind
could imagine nothing less than that
the Old Nick, at the moment of our
overturn, had annihilated my wife and
jumped into her petticoats. This idea
seemed the more probable, since /
could nowhere perceive Mrs. Bullfrog
alive, nor, though looked very sharply
about the coach, could l detect any
traces of that beloved woman's body
There would have been a comfort in
giving her Christian burial.
Come, sir, bestir yourself! Help this
rascal to set up the coach" said the
hob-goblin to me; then, with a terrific
screech to the three countrymen at a
distance, Here, you fellows, amt you
ashamed to stand off when poor wo-
man is in distrcss?"
The cOuntrymcn, instead of fleeing
for their lives, came running at full
speed, and laid hold of the topsy-turvy
coach. /, also, though a small-sized
man, went to work like son of Anak.
The coachman, too, with the blood still
streaming from his nose, tugged and
toiled most manfully, dreading, doubt
less, that the next blow might break
his head. And yet, bcmaulcd as the
poor fellow had been, he seemed to
glance at me with an eye of pity, as if
my case were more deplorable than his
But | cherished hope that all would
turn out dream, and seized the oppor.
tunity, rs we raised the coach, to Jam
two of my fingers under the wheel,
trusting that the pain would awaken
me.
why, here we are, all to rights
again. exclaimed a sweet oice behind.
Thank You for your assistance, gentle
men. My dear Mr.. Bullfrog, how you
perspirc! Do let me wipe your face.
Don't take this little accident too much
to heart, good driver. We ought to be
thankful that none of our necks are
broken"
1--WE might have spared one neck out
of the three muttered the driver,
rubbing his ear and pulling his nose,
to ascertain whether he had been cufled
or not. why, the wOman's witch. :"
fear that the reader will not believe,
yet it is positively fact, that there
stood Mrs. Bullfrog, with her glossy
ringlets curling on her brow, and two
rows of Orient pearl cleaning between
her parted lips which wore a most an
gelic smile. She had regained her riding
habit and calash from the grisly phan-
tom, and was, in all respects, the lovely
woman who had been sitting by my
side at the instant of our overturn. How
she had happened to disappear, and who
had supplied her place, and whence she
did now return, were problems too knot
ty for me to solve. There stood my wife.
That was the one thing certain
among heap of mysteries. Nothing
remained but to help her into the
coach, and plod on, through the jour
ney of the day and the journey Of
life, as comfortably as we could. As
the driver closed the door upon us,
heard him whisper to the three coun-
| trymen,-
How do you suppose fellow feels,
shut up in cage with a she-tiger?"
OF course this query could have no
reference to my situation. Yet, unrea-
sonable as it may appear, | confess that
my feelings were not altogether so &C.
static as when first called Mrs. Bull
frog mine. True, she was n sweet
woman and an angel of wife; but what
if Gorgon should return. amid the
transports of our connubial bliss, and
take the angels place. recol-
lected the tale of a fairy, who half the
time was beautiful woman and half
the time a hideous monster Had /
taken that very fairy to be the wife OF
my bosom? While such whims and
chimeras were fitting across my fancy
l began to look askance at Mrs. Bull
frog, almost expecting that the trans
formation would be wrought before my
| eyes.
To divert my mind, l took up the
newspaper which had covered the little
basket of refreshments, and which now
lay at the bottom of the coach, blush
ing with deep-red stain and emitting
potent spirituous fume from the con-
tents of the broken bottle of Kalydor.
The paper was two or three years old,
but contained an article Of several col
umns. in which l soon grew wonder
fully interested. II was the report Of a
trial for breach of promise of marriage,
giving the testimony in full, with fer
vid extracts from both the gentleman s
and lady's amatory correspondence.
Tho daGnrtal lansnl had narcon ally a ~