Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-08-05
nERr avn rHERE.

Breton. IL was sent TO the French town
Of .'Brass d'or," Cape Breton.
ia that dog ferooious S'' said
traveller 10 an Arkansaw man. ''No,
h. amt ferooious, but he's the darndest
dog to bite ever you seed. - Chicago Sun.
Bjornstierne Bjotnson has jgorn black
tiowsrds NORWAY, where he expects to
spjend the summer. Don't sjtop him.
Hartford Neios.
In police court Magistrate-You say |
you were an eye witness of the assault 2 |
Witness AN eyewitness should say |
so. just look at my left pepper"
Doubtful-looking Guest = Landlord,
have you fre-escape in this hotel "
Experienced landlord sir; but we
generally keep the bull dog chained at
the bottom of it Merchant T'tdoeler.
That story from Carson, New, about
the COWS which waded in the river so
much TINT they became web-footed is one
Of the most picturesque forts of the ro-
cent heated spell
An Indian idol was recently found in
Kansas II was made of earthenware, was
brown in color and has handle. II will
| hold two quarts, but II will not hold them
long in that state. 1e1Gs Stttt1lgs.
An Even Thing: Tennessee Farmer
Nov, sir, if you want TO make u bargain,
| I'm ready TO trade my horse for your
wife," Georgian--"But suppose my wife
| kicks 2" Tennessee Farmcr-''So will my
horse. ~ It'd Bits.
A gentleman complains that when he
enters church Sunday morning his shoes
squeak, and he wants TO know how the
nuisance can be abated. Easy enough.
Sunday morning put on a pair of boots
and go fishing. : NOrrtst0ton Herald.
Rusticus-"W hear that tips are
very popular in these here city eating.
houses" Waiter Tin expectancy)-"Yes,
sab, they is, sab" Rusticus --"Well,
YOU may bring me whole plate of 'em.
Durn'd if don't go the whole businessl y"
Henry watterson's didaotic, critical,
advisory, directory, dogmatic and pub
lished letters from England furnish i'll
dubitable evidence that the star eyed god
dess of reform is travelling with Henry
and editing his copy right along Wash
ington Critic.
An ex-Mayor of Reading informs the
newspapers that onions, tied around the
neck, and bruised so As to emit power
full odor, will cure insomnia. The draw
back is, that they would cure any other
person of sleeping in the same house, -
NO1Tist0aOn Herald
y A Democrat. WHATS the difference be.
tween heaven and the United States
, Senate? Republican-7There's no pain
] in heaven. Give us another one. Tint
I wasn't the real answer, but the conin
drummer was 80 ratified by II that he re
, tired Washington Critic.
A French Indy who was unfortunately
9 a little deaf, but good hand at bar
Q gain, enters q shop. GLOW much is thatg'
Q tSeven francs.n sixteen francs2 III
give you l5," "Seven francs, madame,
uttered the honest clerk. "oh seven
l then I'll give you five"
An English actor, Charles Matthews
\ being one evening in front of the house
I, and seeing gentleman putting on hi
coat preparatory to leaving, exclaimed
y ~ beg pardon, sir, but there is still MI
other act.n (Which is precisely the reO
le son, replied the other, "why I'm going.
- 'And 50 that is Roman candle ?" sL
"a asked, upon seeing one of those pyro
IL technics III full blast "And do the
os always take one of those in Rome, upol
M retiring? True, they make quite a.
H. illumination while they last, but Ishouldn'
- think they'd burn long enough to go {
bed by
y. Washington Lawyer say you ar
entitled TO pension Patriot-"Hes,
- think 80" Lawyer Were yo
woupded 2" Patriot-"No but 1 iai
Ter out $500 in hard cash for substitute.
rs, Lawyer-''Ah, yes, sec. just give me
nd $40 bill and fill out that blank" ~
Hd1pey'S Bdsar.
eyes, said the old mnn, my sons ~
Ter very ambitious aud they are getting nlou
y. well,' One is the captain Of tOwbot
lor and the other is physician, and each
ny trying bis best to see which can make u
ps most money! "Ah," said the listene
he "a sort OF heal and tow match, rs
Hl we're. 49, 7aSioa '0,trter
oW Another Ia lsw who was a little ind
~ posed called in n physician. lie telt Il
' nie pulse. "let me sec your tongu
See madame, said the doctor "Ohl VII
d bad tungue :" The son.in-law, aside
'le' the physician; THAT doesn't prove Il
~, u anything unusual's the matter with her
nre There arc several towns in Montn
without single unmarried woman, n
her the local papers tell piteous tales of ri
art and eligible bachelors who are traveli
M about from town to town looking fol
La wife In some parts of the territory,
the is said, a commission of from $40 to 8
'Lv is freely offered for good article
his wives.
,ne When Eihalinda De Wigs visited /
ian cousins in the country last week, one
sec them said LINDA, don't you want
ny, help me pick peas this morning." q
ere like to, dear" replied Ethalinda, bu
wv, am not properly dressed for picki
peas - "Why, how is that ?" ~ forg
er To bring peajacket with me. n-FittsdV
axe Gyoaicie.
OF "Sny, George did you see that NJ
ust Gray ut the picnic yesterday By JOY
les she climbed all the hills formiles aroun
ON aud came home as fresh as daisy
George Miss Gray Which one "
my she ~ Frivole-"Why the girl with
S very small waist" George--''very Sun,
'Iy waist Oh, yes, she's slayer ~
An. KtchaHge.
~ Conversation turned IN a Paris club
the tornado which recently visited Madri
--"But where do these terrible cyclor
I cone from n asked nm innocent looki
NV, Wv. member From America" "Well, til
hTt gentlemen, you will agree with me Il
me- Columbus made great mistake when
try took SO much trouble TO discover it. VI
ar YH MS
4 f. Mrs Bagley- William, how is it Il
,tl5 Boston people are 80 literary, SO rein
IF Sonoble SO celebrated ~ Bagley (nngri
by --.Thcy aims. Because your fatht
Ties aunt was born in Boston you are regu
" Hub worshipcr Tell me, now, if Bost
is 80 great why don't they get up II