Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-09
BRIGHT BITS.

~ EARTHouAKEs. cyclones, billiards. and all
ships are nearly done.-Eschan0e.
TIE bravest are not always the tenderest,
as the poet sing'. There is the red game
rooster. for instance; he will fight bird
double HIS size, but he cuts up tough in pot-
pis.-Boston Gase.te.
Pm afraid that SON of mine will bring my
gray hairs In sorrow to the grave, II live so
long" said lady to q sympathetic frienI.
Don't be afraid, ma" said her young hope
full, poking his head in at the door. '',Ooner
than have that happen m take Your hair out
OF the drawersOmc night and burn it."-The
""d9s' s# a. I'm r.
HIS Mind Elsewhere. who has
told the Young men to bring in an essay on an
original subjectl-Well, Mr.. Saunders, what
have you got to-day?
Collegian (whohas spent the summer as a
waiter at one OF the mountain hotels)-Er-
hash. ~ TId-Bits.
DoY-Mister, do you wanter hire bow
Young doctor dubious Y)-What can you
do? Read. write, cipher? Have you rec
ommendation from your last employer?
mo. sir; but I'm dreadful liar, and l
know every bill collector In the city,"
Come around tomorrow morning at 81
PhitddeEDhfd CAL.
MRS. ELIZA WHEELER. OF Sag Harbor,
nagged her husband until he ran out and
Jumped into the family well and was drown
verdict: 1--WE are sorry to say this evil is on
the increase, and we earnestly recommend
the enactment of some law which will check
lt."-DetrOit Free Press.
ALGERNoN-I should like vewy much to 90
for dwive with you, old chap, but | cahn't
do 1t, have to pwactice.
ADMINISTRATIONS! You are not studying
anything, are you?
Algernon-No, deah boy; but pwactice
hour day twylng to learn to keep my eye
glass In my eye-RdHl6Ler.
A RECoMMENDA TIoN- Dealer (poiptiug ont
beauties OF a vlcious-looking animal, with
ears back and hind leg suspiciously lifted
''There, sir, He's beauty. Not another to
touch him. You just ride him once, an you'll
never ride another" Little Tipkins. who is
very nervous, thinks this is uncommonly
likely, from the look Of him.-Punch.
'OH! there is boarding house,
Far, far away,
Where they give the boarders hash
Three times day.
Oh how those boarders veil
When they hear the breakfast bell,
oh how those onions smell,
Far, far away"
--Erchan0e.
LACK OF Gentleman-There
| You are, Uncle Rastus. You Just hand that
order to Mr.. Smith, and he will pay you the
money.
| dis verbal order, sab?
Genllemsn-No. If gave you a verbal or
| der. he wouldn't pay it,
Uncle Rastus (relievedl-Yes. OATS 'zactlv
wot Mr.. Smlf sayed. He saved eff | brought
| verbal order dat he wudden't pay it,
reckon he hain't got much confidence in yo',
| sah.-Neto ip'E Sun.
PHILADELPHIA Is the only city in the coun e
| try where street car fare is &C., whore New
| ork papers are sold for &c. apiece, and where
the BARRIERS charge zoe. for shaving a stran ger.
| 1t is tie only city, too. where Twelfth (as the
| name OF a street, is spelled T-w-e-l -f-v-t- III
on the lamp posts. 1t is the only city. too,
| where people scrub their front steps every
| morning in the dead of winter, and then
| sprinsle ashes on the steps to keep folks from
| slipping down. 1t is the only CITY, too. where
/ editors of morning papers go home from work
at 4:3) p. m. every day.-CAtcdgo Morning
| Nsus,