Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1886-10-14
SunhBaIIlS

Always aim a little higher than the
mark" says an exchange. What Kis,
a girl on the nose2 Never!
Poe never sat on the balcony of
seaside hotel in August or he would
have written it "The chin-chin-abula-
tion of the bellies"
Mr.. Plesnay-" Waiter, here is but
ton in the SOUP" -xaiter-"Ah yes
the cooks. Well, you can have it.
He'll never miss it."
China and Japan buy our dried
apples freely. Thus does American in
dustry help to swell the population of
the Orient.
"Oh, what bird is that? I have just
Joined the Audubon Society, and am so
interested in bird calls" "That's our
goat"
"Swooper," asked Niggler, "who are
these Knights Of Malta we read about
occasionally" "Must be some organi-
zation of brewers" replied Swooper.
Creditor-"C Can you let me have my
little billp" Debtor" Certainly, but
don't destroy it. l may want to pay
something on it in the future"
Somebody asks: "What is warmer
than woman's lover" Two women's
love. Get two women after you and
the heat will be found somewhat OPP
pressiye.
We don't wish to be understood as
finding fault with nature, but we do
wish, from the bottom of our hearts,
that the luminous end of the tireay had
been hitched to the mosquito.
Bookbinder: "Will you have it bound
In Turkey or Moroccow Purchaser
"0h, Mercy! No. What's the use of
sending it away off there2 Have it
bound In Boston"
Telegraph operator Qeading message)
-" What's this?" Will marry you
whenever you wish.'" Aged Spinster
-" Yes; do you think 1t too forward?
It's my first offer and I'm afraid he'll
get away"
Head Of the House" Jane, q man
came in to-day and made me buy some
Rough on Rats" Wife" Mercy,
John we haven't a rat in the house"
Head of the House." Well, can't we
get some?"
The best way to clean a chrome,
Ethel, is to lay It to soak in turpentine
over night, and then hang it before an
open fire to dry. Hang it close, Ethel;
hang it close Push one corner under
the CRATE few inches.
Detective" -"See here, you called me
lynx-eyed detective in your paper to-
| Danortar l,I natan
tive-"Well, l want you to take that
back. I'm no more lynx-eyed than you
are"
Husband (handing his wife some
money! There, dear, Is $50, and it
has bothered me some to get it for you,
] think deserve little praise" Wife:
"Praisep You deserve all encore, my
dear"
"Were you at the sociable last
nightp" "Yes, and / spent very
pleasant evening" al heard Miss X.
was to sing there. suppose you en-
joyed that" Ever 50 much. She had
sore throat and couldn't sing"
Binks-" Did you go to Milwaukee
to attend the Sangcrfest?" Jinks -
eyes, / was there" Binks-"What
impressed you most during your so
journ in Milwaukee?' Jinks-"The
numerous signs of English Spoken
Here"
From the amount of seismic lore being
shot off in the newspapers the chances
are that any man will now know All
earthquake when he meets one. Here
tofore there has been some danger of
confounding the blame thing with a
passing ash cart.
Fogg-"I heard pretty compliment
for you the other day." Mrs. Passy-
"Indeedl May / ask what it was y
Fogg-"I heard some one say how
pretty you used to be- Mrs. Passy.--
"Used to bel DO you call that com
pliment9 Icall it an obituary notice.
BY the Bartholdi statue: Policeman
Move on now. We can't allow loun-
gers here What are you doing here
anyway. Lounger-lIist! Don't givt
me away. l am waiting for the statu'
i to be finished, so can jump Off it iirs
and get ahead of the rest of theboys.
o Miss Clara" Do you not think, Mr
;. Featherly. that Miss Smith, whom "
=. met last evening, is very plain py
. SOM" Mr.. Featherly--" Yes, indecl
K 1 think she is the hoineliest girl / eve
s saw, present company, of course, alway
. ex-um-that is. Yes; she is Ger
: tainly a very plain person. Are yol
lawn tennising any this season, Mis-
: Clara?' d
It "What Is that you have got on you
v writing paper, Sadie?" "That is m
n monogram" '"What is monogram
"Why, the initials of your nam
; changed so that the letters overla
d each other" "0hl / see! But thes
Y are not the initials of your name.
!. ayes, they are" "Well, | can't max
'em out" Certainly not. That's tn
y beauty Of It,. II you could make 'er
o out itwouldnt be monogram wort
% having"
Y Mr.. Baxter was about to take hi
"a wife and children out for a SAIL "Com
on" he said, there's a spanking bree2
l. and we mustn't miss it," "Papa
E. interrupted his little son, with h
"a hands folded behind him, stake Il
|. rest of the family and 60. With thi
% kind of q breeze blowing don't waT
u to be caught in a little boat wit
Is mamma until have learned to swim
ss A gentleman who had been in tow
only three days, but who had been pa
ing attention to prominent bell
wanted to propose, but was afraid
or would be thought too hasty. He de
~ cately broached the subject as follow
~ "If were to speak to You of marriae
no after having only made your acquai
ey tance three days ago, what would y,
cd say ofitp" "Well, ! should say, New
~ put Off till tomorrow that which y
no should have done the day before vest
nd day"
"a At breakfast he began to play wi
ite the cruet stand. told him not to
,be 80. He persisted, and at last upset
"a and spilled the red pepper on the tab
M Mios cloth. l said: "Now, Allan, you w
ith disobedient and upset the pepper cast
or and should make the punishment
4 A. -. A ~ lso ND