The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-04-01

man as he stood by the side of lis
manned child fighting with his soul.
81 could be happier-I know could
be happier, if you and the world were
different to each other-if you did not
regard it as your enemy. But that will
never be, father, will it?"
''No. child, it will never be. 1 can
not play the hypocrite, and lie to
you"
Yet you are good and kind to me.
Why should Won love me so dearly,
and be bitter with all others? All men
and women are not bad. See, father,
there Is my angel!'
She pointed upward to a large gray
cloud, with white feecy wings, which
her imagination had quantity fashioned
into the Inquire of an angel.
Il never saw him so beautiful be-
fore. He is at his best because it is
Chri stmas. Say that Christmas is
good time, and make me happy
christmas is a good time, child"
he said, doggedly.
mo, no. not like that! From your
heart want you to say it from your
heart! You are silent. If / were to
say that 1 suffer more, far more than
you can imagine-that my heart is torn
70 pieces with vain yearnings-you
would strive perhaps to bring some
gladness into my days. An, forgive
met she cried, in an agony of re-
morse, as a spaSm OF pain escaped
him; Il am ungrateful, ungrateful!
You are all that is good to me-all that
is kind. But | suffer so! am so truly
unhappy She rocked herself to and
fro, and sobbed. sit by my side,
Father. | must tell you my secret, or
l shall die!''
In silence he sat upon the doorstep
by her side, with face almost as white
as hers. When she had sobbed herself
inty quieter mood, she spoke again.
Father, am very much deformed,
am not?"
''NOt to me, darling"
''No, not to you, for when you look
at me, your eyes are in your heart.
But | am, in reality, very ugly, very
uninteresting, defOrmed and a cripple
No person in the world, seeing me
once, would care to see me again. /
know from myself. do moi care to
look for second time upon ugly and
uninteresting things. 1t is very sad
The commissioning tone in which
she spoke of her misfortunes was very
touching to hear.
Il am not like any other girl have
ever seen. There is Laura Harrild
now; she Is very, very pretty. When
| look at her | feel as glad as when
see the early primrOses peep out of the
ground, telling me that spring is COM
ing"
Stephens features assumed an anx-
ious expression at the mention Of Laura
Harrild' S name.
''lf you were to ask me my idea of
perfect happiness, | should answer,
Laura Harrild. She is young, beauti-
ful and gOod-and she loves, and is
loved On, my hearth
There was such anguish in the poor
girls voice that every nerve in Steph-
ems body quivered in sympathy As he
supported her head upon his shoulder.
do you guess my secret, father"
she whispered.
ITO my sorrow. dear child"
Il can not help it. have struggled
against it vainlv, feeling how hopeless
it is. have always loved him, miser-
able girl that l am! l do not know
how it came, except that he is so brave
and strong and handsome, while am
nothing but a poor ugly cripple. Is
life worth having, | wonder, in such
shape as mine? Il | We're somebody |
else, and saw such a creature as my
self, | would look down with pity upon |
her. and ask whether she would not be |!
happier if she were dead. | have seen |
girls, ragged. and without a shoe to
their feet, and have envied them be- |
cause they were strong and had straight |
limbs, and were free from pain-wh;ch |
/ seldom am, unless l am asleep"
They suffer much" said Stephen,
attempting to draw consolation for her
from the misery of others; they are
often without a meal or a bed"
But they are free, she cried, ''they
are free, and | am siaveI Though
they have not shilling in their
pockets, their hearts are sometimes
light. and they smile and enjoy. l
have seen them-I have seen them!
What happiness there must be in pow
erty! You are q rich man, father
Il have money, child. 1t is yours to
spend as you wish"
Money can not buy love. Money
will not make me different from what
l am, and it can not bring sunshine
into our house. Are all homes like
ours? There is no light in it; it is des-
olate and deserted. and it has never
been otherwise within my remem-
brance. You and l are like two her
mits, shut ont from the world. In
what way has this come, and must X
be always SOP Surely there is some
thing better in life than my experience
has shown me. All, yes; there is
something better in it. There is love
in it. which l shall never, never
have"
She was speaking to herself now.
while he sat watching her, humbly and
in silence. Morose and churlish as he
was to all others, here he was 4 slave;
and had he possessed the power, he
would have laid his heart in her lap,
could it have insured her days hap
piness.
Tonight is Christmas" she re-
sumed, land we shall go round to Mr..
Harrild house, and see so many young
people dancing. and laughing. and
playing forfeitS, while l shall sit in a
corner glaring at them, like the envi-
Gus old witch / have read of in fairy
stories. l am quite as hideous. know;
and it is natural and proper that they
should not come and pay court to me, as
they do to each other. And l deserve
it, father" she exclaimed, her mood ,
suddenly changing. Il deserve it for