The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-04-17
ALLEGED American HGn0r.
FUNNY STORIES, CULLED FROM THE
COLUMNS OF EXCHANGES.

FUNNY STORIES, CCLLED FROM TIRE
COLUMNS OF EXCHANGES.
The recent railroad blockade recalls q
story that distinguished Maine gentle
man tells against himself. Some years
ago he was making Journey down East,
when his train became snow-hound. 1t
was then evening, and thelo WAS no
hope Of progress until daylight. But
near at hand was a little village that
b0asted public hail. 1t was suggested
that the passengers adjourn to the hail
and listen TO all address by their dis
tinguished fellow-traveler He finally
consented to do his part; the hail was
warmed and lighted, and the lecture
took place. The next day the gentle
man was approached by a sturdy young
yoeman, who said:
YOU'RE the man who made the
speech last night, amt you?'
Tho identity being duly established he
went on:
4 want to thank you for it, 1 don't
know when I've enjoyed myself more
than did while you were talking
The orator experienced the genial
glow which unconventional and un-
sought praise is wont to inspire, and he
cordially took the honest fellows hand.
Yes the young man continued, 1T
was good thing. You see, my girl
is on the train, and while you were
lecturing she and | had the car all to
ourselves
AN UNPLEAsANT REMINDER.
1t was at a Washington residence and
the young man had been going often
and staying late until the girl felt the
mono;ony. One night about / o'clock
the conversation dragged and for a
minute or two he sat in a cogitative
mood with his hand to his forehead.
Il had something pleasant to tell you,'
he said, finally.
Yes she responded, irQuiringly,
what was it?'
'Unl-um-let me see,' rubbing his
head; L can't just think what it was.'
May be it was good night, she sug-
gested.
He looked at her for minnie but she
never flinched; then he went away and
up to date has not been back.
A STAB AT LIBERTY.
First Socialist-Rcmember the meet
ing tonight, Josef. Important ques-
tons to be discussed. Assassination OF
Bismark, blowing up the Washington
monument, kidnapping Victoria
Second Socialist-I have so many
duties, Heinrich, can not attend. l
am
we are also going to decide whether
or not we shall have beer at our meet
ings in future
What! Have our rights been ques-
toned? Are our liberties invaded?
Heinrich, when justice calls am at my
post. will be there
THEY ARE ALL ALIKE.
Overheard in a street car-First lady
Why, you know, dear, my husband is
too forgetful for anything, Why, DO
you know. when h. goes out he really
don't remember where he is going.
Second lady-Well, all men are alike.
They keep on talking and half the time
they forget where they are going.
First lady to conductor, Stop at Col
lege street, please
Conductor: Two blocks back,
madam
WAR PRICES IN THE SOUTH
A few days ago party of gentlemen
were discussing high prices in the South
during the latter part of the civil war.
4 paid $50 yard for suit of gray
cotton jeans, said the first speaker,
and the suit of clothes cost ME $500
after being cut and made
'The biggest trade made during the
war; said No2, was $50 for a spool of
cotton thread
And H. said No. 8, paid SIS for
shave
How could a man carry enough
change in his pocket to buy anythins?'
ventured to ask.
They stuffed it in their hats, boots
and pockets, or most anywhere it would
stick, replied No. /.
LAMENTABLE IGNORANCE.
An Evanston mother was reading her
little girl the Sunday school lesson for
the day, when she came to the verse:
But when they. next saw Joseph they
found him in position of great author
ity and power, and
Joseph was king, wasn't he, mamma@
interrupted Ethel.
No, Ethel, he was not king, but he
was very high next to the king
'Oh, know, mamma; he was Jack
Jack high
Any fair-minded man will readily see
from the above that no poker clu5s exist
in Evanston, or Ethel would have been
better inform as to where the Jack !
came in.
THE MISTAKE PROBABLY NATURAL.
\ certain rich but ignorant old farmer
in Georgia was asked by his fellow
citizens to run for the legislature,
Il won't DO it, he said, Indignantly.
why wont you? You're just the T,
man for it, was the reply.
Am 1? Well, just haiu't, nuther |
You think I'm gwine up thar an go
trapesin' aroun' with then burned |
striped clos on? Go long an gil some
body else to 80 to your doggone legis-
latur Yer can't git me, and that's all
thar is to hit.
THE TEETH WE'RE NOT FALSE ESoUGH. /
A lady with her heal bandaged in