Smyrna times., 1886-01-13
WHOLE NO. 1896.
Here and Elsewhere.

A French Cabinet is like ten pins
easy to put up and easy to knock
down.
This is the year of grace 1886, and
the biggest liar" still goes unde.
tected.
A large cotton mill in Petersburgh,
Va, which cost $4,000, was recently
sold for $4,000.
During the last twelve months the
western line of settlement has moved
10 miles, and the march of civilization
stills goes on.
If the silver maniac could be cured
by incubation, what a promising lot
of patients could be found among the
Democrats in Congress.
If there wazen't eny phools this
world would be a dreadful desolate
place to live in; it wouldn't pay to be
wize or even cunning.-Josh Billings.
Increased facilities of communication
with this country and with Europe are
producing in Mexico marked results of
progress, both industrial and political.
Mr.. Goodnight says, in effect, that if
the land laws be so changed as to con-
form to the ideas of the cattlemen the
latter may agree to respect them
otherwise they will not.
There is a process of segregation
going on, the masses of population
separating off into sharply defined
classes, which look on each other with
either heartless or sullen and defiant
regard.
Still another comet has been discov-
cred by the patent medicine observa-
tory at Rochester, and free ad." Sc
cured in large number of newspapers.
A pleasant purgative" ought to be
applied to each paper that uses these
Especial dispatches"
The latest evidence found against
the cOlOred man johnson for the MUIR
der of John Sharpless goes to prove
conclusively that he is the guilty party.
The hands of Pennsylvania justice
should now endeavor to make a clean
piece of work of their brutal prisoner.
A man at the telephone the other
day shouted: Hello, there; why in
thunder don't you speak louderP" An
angelic voice replied: "What did you
say" Oh" exclaimed he, recog-
nizing the voice at the central office,
excuse me; thought I was talking
with my wife"
The widow of a soldier draws a pen
sion, but it ceases if she remarries. A
bill is before Congress to allow the
pension to be again paid to her on the
death of the second husband or her di-
vOrce from him. Before the bill be-
comes a law some member will have it
amended so as to give her two pen
siOns on the ground that she is a dOu-
BILE widow.
A New York letter says the girls OF
that city grow more and more English
every day. The cause is a mystery,
but they all seem moved by an over
F whelming desire to look and act like
English girls. Their gowns are made
of cloth and cut and fitted by English
tailors, whose shops are gaudy with
coats of arms of foreign notables, and
who employ only British assistants.
Some one recently gave out as a fact
, that there was a melancholy vein Oi
, superstition running through the Presi-
: dents mind about his life. He said
that the President had never yet filled
: out any term of Office for which he had
, been elected. Mr.. Cleveland wa:
elected Mayor while he was yet Sheriff
: and while he was Mayor he was elected
Governor. He reached the Presidency
!, before he had served out his term a:
s Governor Now he is President and
r can go no higher in political honOrs.