davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
IN PORT.

Safe, safe in port
All, blessed is that lone.expected hour.
When, safe from all the cruel seas dread
pow'r
From furied storms and tides and buf.
fetlngs,
The driven ship folds close its beaten wings,
And DER the peaceful waters OF the bay
=, Is heard the soamens gladstone roundelay-
safe, safe in port.
Safe, safe In port
All, blessed is that longed-for, hungered
hour
When, safe from all lifes dread and hurtful
pow'r,
From woe of waiting, drear, and doubts
deep stings,
The breaking heart no longer sobs but
sings;
And, harbored in love, so consecratc and
leal,
Through homeside bliss the souls true love.
songs steal
Safe, safe In port.
Edgar L. Wakeman.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

and numerous others.
-
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.
A great army of American arlstocrats can
be enlisted to fight English interference
with our Goldfish privileges,
The Philadelphia Press laments that it can
not discover any signs Of Mugwunp In
the field. The Press should resort to math-
ematics; for instance: Add aud and S
and 4, divide by 3, subtract Z and the result
will be what the Press is looking for.
The morning after the election In Ohio
Democrat out there telegraphed his Con-
gresham: ''IIell is to pay in Ohio!" The
NJ. G. Immediately wired in reply: GAN
right, pay 1t. You oughtn't to have hired
that sort Of talent to run the campaign on"
A chrome will be given to any subscriber
who can explain correctly why woman
visiting the Senate or House galleries
always sits In the outside end of vacant
seat and lets all later comers drag them
selves over her.
The Boston AdpertiSer thinks Senator
Dawes seat is engendered. 1t doesn't say
that Governor Long is going to kick him
exactly, but Long is mixed up in It some
way.
1t was suggested yesterday by certain
grave and reverend Senators that secret
sessions of the Senate would be forever
ended by the admission of women as Sem
ators. The eagle eye of Sorosis is turned
fully upon Messrs. Beck and Eustis, and
dull thud will be heard in due time.
President Cleveland must go. He was
shaved by barber on Sunday.
Louisiana wants a sugar-coated tariff.
The man who thought the Monument was
a Boston bean has been chased out of
town.
There will be two comets visible to the
naked eye May l. AS one is fifteen millions
and the other thirty-flvc millions OF miles
away, the young couple who hang over
front gates and watch for comets and
things, had better hurry up, or they won't
get there all summer.
A Congressional silver advocate, 1901
fine, calls it "Goddlemity's money"
Senator Voorhees,, In his speech yesterday
on Montana's admission, said "the valleys
Of her mountains are enlivened by the
sounds Of church-going BELLS" That S
enough. Any Territory having bells that
60 to church ought to be admitted. Or did
the Senator mean "church-going bellies ?"
very aesthetic young lawyer was on the
bench in the Police Court and case OF
drunkenness was brought in.
"He was stinkin' drunk, your Honor"
said the officer.
'Malodorously inebriated,n - corrected the
Judge, sternly. "Ofllcer, you are fined 81
for contempt of court. Dlslnfect the
prisoner for thirty days"
man rode pact cabin over in Virginia
the other day and seeing woman In the
front door he spoke to her.
"Good morDin,'" she answered.
"Bad weather we've been haying,n he con
tinued.
"Pow'ful mizzable.n
"Are times pretty hard with your
swell, they wuz tell las week, an my
boys didn't have clos enough skercely to
kiyer theirselyes but the ole man died sud-
den Sunday night an sence then the bovs
has been iookin' SO peart in bls ole clos
that prospecks is brlphtepin, miehtilv.n
The New York World saws. GA Demo.
cratic President ia TO-DAY hampered bv n
Republican senate.n We do not desire 10
engage in any heated political discussion
with our contemporary, but we have So. %
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

THE proposition to admit Washing.
ton Territory as a State has an obstacle
in the fact that woman suffrage pre-.
walls in the Territory, and number of
distinguished Senators ai. "hsolutely
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
FOR EXCHANGE.

NXTANTED--To Exchange New stoves
w for old ones at BUTLER'S Stove Ex-
change, corner 9TH and X SITS. Smoky chin
neys cured or no pay. stoves exchanged for
groceries. Old stoves bought.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

opposed TO that electoral innovation.
The debate on the subject yesterday
brought out one thing that Is to be
noticed From q remark made by
Senator Eustis, who was opposing the
admission of the Territory, very good
idea is given as to the breezy character
of the language used when the able
Senators lock their doors and go into
executive session. Mr., Eustls said that
If the Territory was admitted as State
without the abrogation of the right of
women TO vote 1t could send to this city
n female Senator and her presence would
knock the executive session out in one
round, so TO speak; the executive session
should go, then, not only because 1t is
opposed to our system of government,
but because its existence tends to lower
the moral tone of the American House
of Lords.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
FOR NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

II ARGE WheelwrIght and Black
l. smith shop for rent, $40 per month; both
stocked with tools. Address II. l.. BALL,
Tennallytown, ID q.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

. THE tomb of Grant at Riverside
Park will be adorned on Decoration
Day with palmettoes from South Caro-
lima. 1t begins to look as though the
war was really over.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

UNCLE SAM ought to be President,
Vice-President, Secretary, and Board of
Directors of the Washington Gas Com.
pany. He'll get there by and by.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
SPECIAL NOTICES.

.-ss5eATTENTION, COMPANY a..
49, PUTNAM RIFLES,
All surviving members Of this company are
respectfully requested to attend meeting at
Cosmopolitan Hall corner Sth and Il sts n w,
SATURDAY EVENING, April TO-. 1886. 736
o'clock, TO make arrangements for the parade
on the 12th inst, the 25th anniversary Of our
muster in" in 1861. WM. IT. HALL,
THEO. l.. LAMB, Secretary
j. II. WILSON, committee.
4
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

THERE is one important provision
lacking in the bill to erect National
Library in this city. There should be
a clause in the bill requiring the
Library to be kept open on Sundays.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
BOARDING..

EIRsT- GLASS Table Board, $50 Per
IL month; meals served out. 1893 o stn W.
T,IRsT- GLASS Table Board for $3 per
IL week. 419 t4th vt n w, Mrs. Esselman.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

Mr.. G. o. NJ. GLADSTONE beat his
record yesterday. He was. bigger
man than Queen Victoria.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

The morning after the election In Ohio
Democrat out there telegraphed his Con-
gresham: "Hell is to pay in Ohior' The
NJ. G. Immediately wired in reply: GAN
right, pay 1t. You oughtn't to have hired
that sort Of talent to run the campaign on"
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

A great army of American aristocrats can
be enlisted to fight English interference
with our Goldfish privileges
The Philadelphia Press laments that it can
not discover any signs of Mugwunp in
the field. The Press should resort to math-
ematics; for instance: Add 1 aud 8 and S
and 4, divide by 3, subtract and the result
will be what the Press is looking for.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
FOR RENT..-HOUSES.
FOR RENT

DOR RENT-By May 1, n 7-Room
Il brick house, furnished, to 2 or 3 adults;
no small children. 323 list ST @, near Capitol.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

ARTHUR RIDLEY of the big New
York firm of Il, Ridley Sons, which en-
ploys from fifteen hundred to eighteen
hundred men and women the year
round, believes that true philanthropy
demands the opening of museums on
Sunday. There are hundreds of people
in his own store who would rejoice in an
opportunity of visiting such insttu-
tions and proGting by their instruction,
once week, but are now debarred
from all such privileges. The church
will answer for their spiritual needs,
but for intellectual recreation they
want library or an art gallery, and
their desires in this regard ought TO be
gratitied There are hundreds and
hundreds of thousands of working
people in this country who stand SINH
larly affected by a mistaken policy of
Sunday inhibition.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

THE Cincinnati Enquirer accounts
for the Republican majority in that
city at the late election on the ground
that the Democrats were "without
organization" "almost penniless" and
''made no fight" The sum total of
the Democratic campaign fund was
only 1,640, or exactly $40 to pre-
cinct. This is surprising disclosure
We had no idea that "civil service re-
form" would ever take such deep root
in Ohio.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

ONE Of the best appointments that
has yet been made in the Pensions
service is that of Captain G. S. Lake
of Iowa as agent at Des Moines for
Iowa and Nebraska. General Black
is to be congratulated upon the Presi-
dents selection. Captain Lake is q
resident of Representative Fredcrick's
district, and of course received that
gentleman's hearty support. The
Democracy of Iowa and citizens gen
orally will concur as to the excellence
of the choice.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

r AIDES HAIR DRESSING, CUT
IL ting and shampooing, at Mme. Demon
geot's Human Hair and Perfumery store 006
+ st II W, opposite Masonic Temple.
TEANNERET'S Hair EmporIum-Hu-
% man hair and toilet goods. Ladies' hair
dressing and cutting. N o cor + and 18th sts
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

A BUSINESS GENTLEMAN OF Expe-
n rience, with highest testimonials as to
character and ability. desires lady partner In
references exchanged; excellent chance for
Department cerkess with some means. q z
B critic Office
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

A chrome will be given to any subscriber
who can explain correctly why woman
visiting the Senate or House galleries
always sits In the outside end of a vacant
seat and lets all later corners drag them
selves over her.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

To THOSE who participated on either
side in the war of the rebellion it seems
hardly possible that so long time has
elapsed since the surrender of General
Lee to General Grant at Appomattox
brought rest and peace to the two
armies; yet II was just twenty one years
ago this bright April day that the well
come end came. The boy. y.child born
that day is voter now, and for those
who so gladly returned sabres" that
same day half a lifetime has passed.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

erzz.THE ANNUAL MEETING of the
s-SJ Stockholders of the Citizens Equlta
Bile Building Association of Georgetown, d.
c., for the election of officers and directors
for the ensuing year, will be held Mt God
dard's Hall, West Washington, ID. O., MON
DAY EVENING, April 10, 1856, at z o'clock.
c. WILLIAMS,
Sacrafat.y
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

ssyH.THIs is TO CERTIFY THAT L,
kS5 Fannie England, beneficiary, received
Of the South Washington Endowment Relief
Association April 8, 1886. tho sum of $500, be-
ing the amount due me in consequence of the
death of my late husband, John A. England.
who held certificate No. 4s1, In Division Of
said association.
MRS. FANNIE ENGLAND.
t. j. BIrRTvT Secretary,
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

President Cleveland must 60. He was
shaved by barber on Sunday.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

NHAS. FLEISCHMANN'S
" Ladies' and Gents Cafe,
1410 Pa. ave-, opposite Willards Hotel.
Meals and luncheon ut all hours. Open
from s a. m. to l2p. IN. Boardors taken by
the week or month. oysters in all styles.
Oman CItpdavs
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
WANTED SITUATIONS.

Advertisements Of TAree Lines under Mis hea,
tnsefted htte kints for 25 cents.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
LOST AND FOUND.

A GENTLEMAN OR LADY, with
N $1,000, can make fortune In a short
time. Address NEW ENTERPRISE, Critic
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09
FOR SAJE-HOlJSES.

DOR SALE-Brick House O33 NJ vt,
Il bet 9th and 10th SITS n W; II rooms, two
bathrooms; lot "a by 105 to alley; cheap and
terms reasonable. Apply on premises.
EOR SALE-Frame Dwelling in Q
IL section of the city; terms to suit the
purchaser. Address Box G, Critic Office.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

nweA U ARD.
To all who are suffering from the errors and
early decay, loss Of manhood, &C., / will send
a recipe that will cure you FREE OF CHARGE.
This great remedy was discovered by mis-
sionary In South America. Send u self'ad-
dressed envelope to the Rev. Jos. II. Inman,
Station d, New York CITY.
nTSeFARMERS' and Mechanics Fire
W. Insurance Company, 1419 Il st W,
Washington, d. O. Capital stock, 100000
Small lines written.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

1t was suggested yes terday by certain
grave and reverend Senators that secret
sessions of the Senate would be forever
ended by the admission of women as Sem
ators. The eagle eye of Sorosis is turned
fully upon Messrs. Beck and Eustis, and a
dull thud will be heard In due time.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-09

The Boston AdrertiSer thinks Senator
Dawes seat is engendered. 1t doesn't say
that Governor Long is going to kick him
exactly, but Long is mixed up in it some
Way,
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
Gods Best Gift to Man.

Life is of UNREASONABLE valuable to
the man, whether lout or prince. who
reposes on the love of woman, and he
most honors himself land so adds to his
WORTHY who acknowledges his depend
ence On the source of his highest happi-
ness, to wit:
Woman, even woman, who did give
ear to the voice Of tho serpent, more
subtle than any beast of the field; who
saw that the tree was good for food,
pleasant to the eyes and tree TO be de-
sired, and who has ever since borne
with sublime fortitude her penalty Of
multiplied sorrow.
Truly her seed hath bruised the ser
penis head in fulfillment of the curse
laid on her first beguiler. And though
the ground be accursed, though it bring
forth thorns and thistles to goad and
sting the man, though he eat bread in
the sweat of his face till he return to
the ground, he shall yet. Lord God,
find compensation in the woman Thou
gavest to be with him, and Of whose
love it has been greatly said, IAN
other pleasures are not worth it, pains.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
Going to Sleep in Church.

Il have often said n physician the other
day, advised patients OF mine who are
troubled with insomnia to try quiet church.
manner and in most cases the result has been
gratifying The poor man who has become
almost wild through want of sleep generally
obtains relief and falls off into gentle and
refreshing slumber. Many people suffering
in this way take ride in a railroad train
for relief. and often get it, but nothing has
succeeded so well as the Sunday morning SER
vice in quiet church. If those people, how
ever. who DO not need to sleep in church. and
do not want to, would drink strong tea or
coffee before going to church they might find
Ineffective, but by no means healthy Why
do you see the baldheads nodding most in
church,! Because the old are mere susceptible
to the influences OF such surroundings. The
women seldom so to sleep, because they are
so dressed that to sleep would be almost i'm
possible. Ii the men would lace themselves
up tight they NIGH: keep awake, too. bu: in
the words Of Gen. knickerbocker: They
cawn't do il, YOU know New York Tribune
A mixture which is said to be a cure for
undue perspiration Of the hands is made Of
quarter of an ounce Of powdered alum, the
white Of one egg and enough bran to make
thick paste. After washing the hands apply
ttb: let it remain ON the hands two or three
minutes, and then wipe Oh with . dry, soft
towel hukewarm water IS better than hot
or cold II the skin Is tender Or inclined to
ohan]Philadelphia Cal
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
FOR SALE.

Improved and Unlmproved City Property
on the best improved streets in the city
l. OTIS on the inside on street car lines and IN
outside additions. Suburban lots on the east
side in Maple Grove addition.
Business lots and business blocks for sale
at special bargains Several fine tracts near
the cityTfor sub-dividing and plating.
Improved farms and grass lands in all
parts of the county; also ranches in this and
adjoining counties.
All parties wishing to buy would do we'll
to cal! and examine my list before buying
elsewhere.
w. A. THOMAS,
The Oldest Real Estate Agency in Wichita
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
Makes n Cool Point.

General Manager Galloway, of the
Union Pacihc, in conversation with a
reporter OF the Omaha Republican, re-
marked that there ar two kinds Of
railroad men and grievance committees.
The one IS represented by respect
ful argument, and IS usually met
with respectful attention aud con-
sijeration.
The other is represented by the
big-headed fellow who comes svagger-
ing into your office with his cigar at an
angle of forty-five degrees in front, and
his tile at an angle of forty-five degrees
behind
He presents his ultimatums
with great vigor and lack of dignity,
demands ga answer in twenty minutes,
and. when he gets it in twentieth of
the allotted time, walks of, remarkirg
as he recedes, That settles it.
The latter is the representative of
brute force, and requires to be dealt
with on an entirely different basis from
the man who respectfully presents his
claims, be they reasonable or other
wise"
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
Heroic Origin OF "A Phrase.

Sophronia asks the origin Of phrase she
has frequently heard of late, viz: Read the
answer in the stars" We give its origin
cheerfully. 1t has nothing to do with astrol-
ogy, may be supposed. The expression
originated during n great naval battle in
which two men-of-war were holly engaged.
The engagement had lasted several hours and
one of the vessels WIS badly cut up The
other bore down upon her to demand her sur
render, but the captain, officers and crew of
the disabled vessel had no thought of sur
rendering. They were resolved to fight to
The last. fight while plank remained beneath
their fest The other vessel steering along
side her captain sprang upon the rail and
cried:
Il call upon you to surrender"
Never" exclaimed the other.
"Then l viii blow YOU out of the water
BLOW away" was the reply
4 terrible broadSide poured in upon the
doomed ship, but it was promptly returned.
although with much less effect
"Will you surrender now" shouted the COM
mander of the victorious ship. Answer
Quick.'
Surrender" exclaimed the captain of the
heroic crew, who. with eyes blazing defiance,
were preparing to aurl another broadside
upon the foe. Surrender You want an
answers!
Read the answer in these tarS,"-Boston
Courier,
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
ARE KNEE BREEcHeS COMING?

The Gradual Transformation of the Dress
Suit-A Swelrs Wardrobe.
1.-The past season was the most significant
one in fifty years az far as mems fashions are
concerned" said an uptown tailor. because
it showed that the old-time and all-sufficient
dress suit was losing its hold Men have
grown FESTIVE under the severe and rigid
dress suit rules of former years. They are
moving toward more elaborate costumes, and
they'll get there before long too"
I've watched the restlessness of the dress
suit" he continued slowly, with great care,
for knew that as soon as the deadlock was
broken it would only be a question of time
when knickerbockers, buckled shoes and
rlIffies would come in. The first indication
was broad satin or silk collar and lapel for
the evening coat. This made stir at first
but now three-fourths of my clients have silk
or satin lapels On their coats. Then came
white waistcoats-at first very simple, but
this season made of figured silks Of really
gaudy patterns, and further decorated with
gold buttons. Many of the buttons had the
monogram of the wearer wrought on them,
and some had crests. Then came q
very significant change-the triumph of
plated, stamped ribbed and decorated shirt
fronts. They became almost universal before
the season ended. The straight collars of
few seasons ago were replaced by rolling col
lars, and the little shoestring ties by broad
black or white bands. Then the coat tails
were rounded off and made smaller, and the
coat drawn i'll at the waist like the coats of
the Eighteenth century. | saw the way
things were tending, and built up some Of my
shoulders with great success. The trousers
were then decorated with broad satin band.
and your fashionable man of Sc was properly
clad. Add very low pumps, colored hose and
the latest wrinkle from the Prince of Wales
a bright red, blue or yellow silk handkerchief
thrust into the open waistcoat front-and
everything was complete. These are small
things in detail, but very important as indi-
eating the bent of fashion. \ plainly dressed
man of two seasons ago is eclpsed by the
dandy of to-day, with his snowy shirt front,
dash of color in handkerchief and hose deli |
cately tinted waistcoat, loosely tied cravat |
and high shouldered, tight wasted coat
And you think all this precedes knee |
breechesi'
Surely tennis and bicycling have shown
great many men how becoming kneo breeches
are They are infinitely more graceful than
trousers, if man has any sort of a leg at all.
No man wears knee brooches when he plays
tennis because they are comfortable, because
they are not The stockings irritate and are
exceedingly warm, and the carriers above the
knee are no end of a nuisance. A pair of
loose flannel trousers are infinitely more COM
Portable and convenient But the mind of
man is bent on knee brooches. and the influ- |
ence of woman goes with it. Men now wear !
knickerbockers in the country, though they |
never touch n tennis racket or throw leg !
over a wheel. Il is the result of the desire to |
look picturesque. New York Sun.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07

I
4 gentleman rom Ia.-'t2 tells Us
row Tic IR!c w" ~
bulldiaC INC sA@' -Ietto@-a. r 3,ich
erecte" III i!s'c' e.
l ne town Was 80 - cti-
callE III pos 1. toe; RS.
taro BANKS az, - so:t' oi s. Ing
scheiAss were iun cpcEly ail't "itLout
lear. -.
One large gambling estahl sanent
was situated IN large tent :ear the
centre OF the town, so t.-ec vent
me l'eT; nj. b'ii; vie la come to
bisa'%Ich TO establish q Methodist
'i.liic''.
- '''-.,IHG Hoker table III the
ml"v.e = the .hirkiy crowded tent,
~ ~ ,df"'o. e . s'1cat Il" rist.
:. ~ o.'1.' re 2; 80 own
TIC 49, re
Pre- sou $ s-:>--l zen p : iil6 at
nun VIE "ii-'e'cr came easiest ID
na Nc
1rl IcssA''E 'l'f 9Iehoef l I'm OF 5'ennis
nan - a. we i'osS ss.hiplef aho leather
-. -. : pen o. 'lie pace arose
ana Ii.It1 toward the preacher
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
Trifling but Powerful Self-Sacrifice.

An English person OF means. whose
heart was stirred at the cry of the m
employed. proposes TO form . = Bread
and Cheese League" the members of
which are to pledge themselves 10 live
for one day On bread and cheese, and
send the money that would ordinarily
be expended on the meals Of day to
the unemployed poor.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-07
Dudish Symptoms.

Yasser," said old farmer SEkens,
the, Toy Joshus hez bin to town two
days. a. I'm derned ef he don't black
his boots three times a week, stead o
greasin' EN-, and he wants ma to make
his shirts SO they'll button hind side
before.
The other day I went into the barn,
and blamed eff I didn't ketch him
brushin' his clothes with al the keea
possible.
Hes jist got to b "a ont n oul
dood"-C1schaat Travels. ,p.x1