Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-23
A Slight Misunderstanding.
From The Texas SittiHgs.

But one child-a daughter-hGd blest
the union Of Mr.. and Mrs. BumblethOrp.
She ripened into womanhOOd, but IN rlpen-
ing she had developed few OF those ieml-
nine charms calculated to attract 5ultors,
and there were indicatiOnJ that she
would die an old maid If her life was
spared. How to secure husband Tor
her was the great problem IN the mlnd Oh
Mrs. b. which sue was continually reyolY-
ing, indignant, sometimes, that her nus
band seemed to give himself no concern
about il.
But a grave subject monopolized the
thoughts Of MIR. b. He contemplated
building a new barn that should eclipse
any that his neighbOrs possessed. He had
thought to be the architect of his own
barn as he had been Of his own fortune,
and had drawn up and torn up innumera-
bic plans for it. But nothing ne could
devise afforded satisfaction.
One evening Mr.. and Mrs. Bumblethorp
sat together in their snug little sitting
room. Mir. BIS thoughts were on the
barn, as usual, and Mrs. b. was thinking
OF her daughter and the warlness of
suitOrs.
At length Bumblethorp sprang to his
feet and exclaimed abruptly:
"By George, L believe l will advertise
for proposals."
ADVERTISE for proposals. cried Mrs.
B., struck all of Il heap, as she after
wards expressed it; "Whv, Bumble-
thorp, what would the mel DbOrs say to
thatH'
SAY, my dear? No matter what they
say. It's none OF their business, anyhow,
Besides, it's not at all unusual. Such
things are done every day"
Yes" said Mrs. b., 'thoughtfully,
"I've seen advertisements OF that kind IN
the papers, and she picked up a paper
to see If her eye would fall upon one,
but folks do not sign their real names,
do they2 Something like this would be
better "A young man OF good family
and steady habits can near of something
10 his advantage by addressing Mother
In-law.'"
"Motber-in-law? Fiddlesticks! You
don't know what you are talking about.
| shall sign my own name. Then fellers
know who Caleb Bumblethorp is, l
reckon"
"Then felers, Mr.. BumblethorpE"
eyes, the tellers tnst we want to reach.
Moneys what they're after, you know,
and they'll send in their proposals by the
next mail"
How mapy-er-proposals do you
think we'll NgetY' asked Mrs. b.,
who began to see an opportunity for max
ing an eligible selection, though she
didn't quite like that way of doing the
business.
"A dozen like as not. But the more
the merrer. l shall ask for plans and
specifications, of course, before selecting
one"
"Plans and specifications - exclaimed
Mrs. b., more and more boWildered.
That's what i said. We must have
plans mustn't We?"
Ofcourse," assented Mrs. B., who had
been doing nothing else but revolving
plans tor several years back.
''ln the first place." continued Mr..
b., There must be good solid tounda-
ton"
You mean pedigree"
Now you are thinking about the
stable, but we will consider that after
wards. the next thing desirable is a good,
strong frame. | shall insist on strong
frame, and it must be thoroughly braced
up"
But l thought you didn't believe
in bracing up" said Mrs. b., quite
shocked at such radical cnange Of
sentiment on the part OF her husband,
who was an unbending total abstinence
man.
Mrs. B., 1 don't see what you are
thinking Of. A brace here and there is
absolutely necessary, and a man who
knows his business will put it in"
Perhaps-perhaps you mean en-
BRACE" said Mrs. B., cOloring a little.
"Embrace?" echoed b. with some sur
prise. Then he added testify: "See here,
mother, l don't want any of your weak
puns over the business. This comes of
reading them funny papers"
Mrs. B. rested silent and abashed.
Alter some moments reflection he re-
sumed:
How many stories can we get along
WITH"
GOOD graciousl Bumblethorp," cried
Mrs. b. in genuine alarm, cant we have
one without any stories attached? These
stories are passed about from mouth to
mouth, and then they get into the news
papers, you Know. 1t will be terribly
Notifying to Celia Ann"
"MOrtifying to Celia Ann? really be-
lieVe you are getting crazy. Stories are
necessary if you want one that will hold
a good deal"
"Hold good deal, Mr.. Bundle
thorp"
"You know what 1 mean. l want
one that is able to stow away lots Of fod-
der"
"Why, never heard you go on like
that before. DO you want gourmand tor
a sOr-in-lawY'
"GOurmand ?son-in-law? Who's talking
about a sOn-in-lawp'
"Why, you are, amt you? You know
Eve been irving year in and year out to
marry off Celia Ann, ANA didn't you say
just now that you were going 10 advertise
tor prOposals?'
eyes, did," said b. light suddenly
bursting upon him.
"Well, what did you mean by itY'
81 meant" said BumbletnOrp, purple
from suppressed laughter, "proIosals for
building my new barn." ana then he had
to run out to the back yard where he
could give Vent to his mirth in order to
avoid sudden apopieXy.