St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-03-21
Firum Nose Tenders His Resignation as
Seargeant-at-Arms and Insists on
Its Acceptance.
Parson Piefront of st. Louis is Present
and Tells His Experience at
Seance.
a Table Rears Up and Chases the
Earson Out OF the Mediums
Cabinet.
The Mysterious HAND Closes the Sc
ance by Firing lin or
the Stage.

biatZ, behind the barrel, sat sm0oth-Iaced
individual with long hair. combed straight
back from a high, white forehead. His
eyes were blue and his face very pale and
it wore a pleading expression, as though
the bearer was the principal stakeholder in
perpetual longing for food that had been
| entered according 10 the act of congress as
lirst-claSs matter. The boys all wondered
who the stranger was, and when the presi-
dent arose and raped the meeting TO order
they grew still aud handcuffed their breath
10 be sure and catch the name. Picking ap
a slip of paper from the barrel the president
read the resignation of Fireum Nose as SER
geant-at-arnls of that society.
a mumur of disapproyal swept over the
crowd. When the president asked what the
pleasure of the lyceum was in the matter,
they unanimously moved that the resgna-
| tiyn be rejected. This angered Nose, who
sat in a dark corner, and, jumping TO his
! feet. he said:
''Mr. Presurdent, kinder reckon know
what I'm erbout. / sent i'm that air resigna-
shun and by Hebron, l purpose ter stand by
it. IF theirs emmy other felier whut wants
TO fill ther persishen in this serciety he can
hev it. I've got through with it, an don't
| yer forgit it. BY Their time er man gifts him
self pounded down inter the floor with er
nail kag an showed clean through er ton er
coal two or three times, he begins ter feel
tibet he heZ got all Ov Their honors ov oils
! tibet he bankers after, an thet's my case eX-
actly. Yer needn't except tibet air resugna-
shun eff yer don't want ter, but want yer
ter understand tibet eff er row breaks out in
this lyceum don't purpose ter stand Ground
an git myself wrecked while Their rest oy
Their gang is gittin outside"
The boys smiled and winked at each
other as Nose ceased speaking and sank into
his seat.
lit is there unanimous vote of this ere
serciety tibet yer resignashun be rejected,
Fireum," said BlatZ, land eny neglect of
duty on yer part will be punished severely.
You have filed Their offs with honor to yer
self and no damage ter anybody else, an l
reckon yerd better hold ther job down till
yer git killed"
a frown swept athwart the brow of
Fireum Nose as he listened to these words,
but he murmured not.
"Boyees," continued BlatZ, 81 hev the
great pleasure ter-night Ov interducin ter
you, Parson PiefrOnt of Their St. Louis Ly-
ceum, who will address yer on Their subject
ov Spiritualism. hope yer will pay strict
ertenshun ter what he heZ ter say"
Parson Piefront arose at the words Of
Blatz and smiled calmly as the boys pounded
the floor with their boots. Carefully mop
ping his mouth on his coat sleeve, he spoke
as follows:
my dear pedestrians. 1t gives me great
pleasure to stand before you tonight and
although greatly fatigued by travel. L feel
quite refreshed when i look about me and
see so many bright and intelligent counten-
ances."
"Parson. hey a cigar" interrupted
Omaha Bob.
"0rderl" yelled Blatz, glaring at Bob.
Excuse me-" said the parsOn, Il never
smoke; it's against the principles of good
digestion. As / was about TO say, never
felt so perfectly at home as when l am
standing before an audience of men whose
high foreheads indicate that they were
born in the state of Ohio. was born there,
but left at the age of 10 years, and in all
the years that have passed have made but
one visit to that state"
what time o. night was it?" inquired
Clothesline Williams.
"Shet up," remarked BlatZ, with so much
emphasis that he bit his tongue.
Williams subsidized.
''OhiO is great state" continued the
parson, lit is full of enterprise and voters.
Consequently it is a great resort. Cheap
spirits. Ten cents a drink. But there are
two kinds of spirits, material and immater-
ial, and it is of the latter that propose to
speak this evening. am side partner of
the former, but for the latter have no
time. But few months ago l attended
what it is called spritualistic seance and
at the request of the medium, who was
self-made woman by the name of Catas-
trophe Jane,
INVENT UPON THE STAGE
to collar the spirits if possible and exhibit
them to the gaze of the audience. / made
up my mind TO do SO before the show was
over and make record for myself. On
the stage stood cabinet. kind of a four
cornered tent, in which the medium hid
herself and allowed the spirits to monkey
around, ringing bells, pounding tambouT-
ines. playing guitars and such things. while
the medium was firmly bound TO board
nailed TO the stage, with court-plaster and
strong cotton thread. A big rope was tied
around her feet, and a fellow on the out
side held it for fear that she'd make q
sneak through crack in the floor when
the people wasn't looking. l want it dis
tinctly understood that 1 don't take any
stock in immaterial spirits. but at the
same time l amt got the kidney to say
that such an arrangement don't exist after
WHAT saw lifat night. nau taken several
drinks of Seventh street whisky be-
fore 1 went TO the seance, and
was feeling in pretty good
condition for picnic of that kind. After
the medium had been shut up in the cabinet
and the guitar. tambourine and bells had
got through fourteen-round contest, Mar
Quis of Queensbury rules, the professor
asked me TO look into the rear of the cabl-
net and see if could discover any artificial
means for producing the effects. l drew
back the curtain with a jerk. and I'm a
goose pimple if the table didn't rare up on