Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-15
BRIGHT BITS.

AUTUMN doesn't turn over a new leaf, but
she is beginning to give the flop to several old
Ones PhttadeLDhil HerdId.
PURSUE THE SAME CoURsE.-'n lady is
beautiful, my son." said latter day LORD
Chesterfield, ''never fail to refer to her
beauty"
What am to do when the lady is plain?"
Just the same; stick to the beauty."-Ec-
chaa0e.
'WoRTHINGToE made convincing Speech"
sad one young man to another.
why do you think soW
well, when went to hear him had al
most made 10 my mind to vote against him.
When came out was certain Oft. "-PeOriG
Transcript.
BETWEEN FRIENDs.-"Ah, my dear Jeanne,
am delighted to see you. Howiare you get
ting along since you married."
'Delightfully, / assure you"
Have you any children"
oh, no; our lodgings are too small for
that."-FrGoOkttu.
LIgTLE BUB-Pop, If there is a war with
Mexico can 20 for a drummer boyp
Pop-Certainly not, my son. Why do you
LITTLE BUB-Because don't see any other
way TO get a drum before next Christmas.
He got lt.-OmdhG World.
THE Unreliable Sex.-Gus DeSmith-The
young ladies of the present day are no good.
They can't be relied on.
Koscusiko Murphy-What makes you think
so?
Gus-I am engaged to three young ladies,
and they all flirt with other men.-TeeaS
SJtin0S.
"YoU are gong too fast" said physician
to rapid young patient-"much too fast, and
you will have to haul in your horns"
well, doctor, will 90 my best to follow
your advice; but really don't see how can
get away with any more horns than l am
hauling in now ."-Drake's Md0asine.
UNCLE SAM-Looks a little like war over
your way, doesn't it?
BIsmarck-No; l am determined there
shall be no war this year,
"You are?"
Yes. am; and I'll lick any great power
that thinks otherwise. "-OnadhG World.
VIRGINIE had just made her debut at a
third rate theatre. 1t consisted of her ap-
pearance on the stage and saying: Ibid
madame ring?" The next day she met a
newspaper man of her acquaintance, who
thus accosted her: ''Well! VIrginie, how goes
ltS" Whereupon Virginie, assuming the air
of a great actress, remarked: Il am not at all
satisfied with the press."-Iid-BitS.
'IT's just as l always said, Mr.. Dusenberry,
You're 100 Facilitating. You lack gunption.
You haven't quite backbone enough"
Backbone doesn't amount to much, my
DEAR"
"Oh, 1t doesn't, eh?"
mo. Now there's the camel. He's nearly
all back bone, and yet he's the meekest cuss in
creation. He'll let you pile the last straw
on him. PhitadekDhiG CGU.
LAST WEEKS ALMANAC
Sunday--Professor K. Stone Virgins.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Virgins,
TuesGay-"Prof." Wiggins.
Wednesday-Old Virgins.
hursday-Wiggins.
Friday-Wig.
Saturdav-Bang.
Sunday-COroner.
-IndidndDolis Journal
DID you ever see man who played bill
lards who would not confide ntially tell you,
as you watched his play, that he used TO play
a good game? Yes. sir" he will say, @two
or three years ago when l was in practice I
could double discount this game Pm playing
now" Whoever heard an honest billiard
player say, Il don't play much of game,
that's fact. but it's as well as ever / did !"
Man's inability to be truthful is not confined
to fish stories.-BUEaLo E1DreSs.
THERE is little boy in South Boston whose
childish efforts to solve the mystery of death
and the after life for the benefit of little
girl who questioned him on the subject are
Interesting. "You see," ne said TO her .'you
go on and on and then you stop; and first
thing you Know you are going on again, and
then you can't stop" When he was told of
the blissfulness OF this life after ''vou can't
stop" and its freedom from suffering. he said !:
"It'll be nice to be there and not have any
touches, won't it, mamma?"
ANY what!'
why, any touches of measles, and cholera
mobiles, ana slch things. Boston Record,