Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-11-05
HOW TO WIN A WIFE.
Given Ia Answer 10 IL Snnpete Core
respondent.

IS. c., writing from sanpete, shows
himself to be in II most deplorable state.
lie loves a maiden far above him in the
financial scale, and though he has tried
for years to win her for his wife, she
/ spurns his suit as though it were one Tor
damages. Like all love-sick young men,
/ S. c. is unable TO rely upon himself, and
80 writes ior the advice OF those older in
experience.
/ Well, 5. c., the first thing to do in
winning Il woman Tor your wife is to
make her love YOU. Ii you haven't done
this YOU are on the wrong track, and
should rub ont all you have ever done or
said and try it all over again. 1t is the
only reliable foundation upon which to
build your future hopes. Ii the maid
loves You not, every sweet word you utter
will sound "soft' and every effort you
make to please her will have the oppo-
site effect. But just make her love you
and all will be we'll Your very cuss
words will be to her ears like the
whisperings OF angels. Every bad break
YOU make will be taken by her as a
loving effort to please, and almost
before you know it you will find yourself
an IS karat, double-dyed hero OF the
first water. When she loves you, you
may treat her as you please. Treat her
shabbily and she'll love you the more.
Treat her lovingly and she'll love you the
same. Now, you see how necessary it is
that she should love you before you go
any further, and trusting that this will be
accomplished in short order, you may
proceed to the next.
The other difficulty is that she is rich.
This is indeed sad state of affairs, but
there are certainly ways out of the
dilemma. One way would be to get rich
yourself. Become millionaire and then
} faunt your wealth in her face. She'll
, tumble. But getting rich so suddenly
: does not Away agree with the nerves, sc
il you do not like that plan try another
, Presenting that you tell the truth whei
you say her father has much OF hi
t wealth in real estate, the matter could bC
easily settled. Set fire to his houses
l devastate his wheat fields and then il
j you deem it necessary drown
= the old man himself. But it ma,
9 be that you are timid maj
l who would not care to resort to thes
= seemingly violent methods, and ii SO, VIII.
: not put the Marshal onto the state Of tn
old mans marital relations? No matte
v ii he is Vanderbilt now, as soon as h
e has served six months in the Pen. it is
h part OF his religion to be so poor that h
n can swear before God and man that h
don't own $50 over and above all ba
e bills, poker chips and other propert.
+ exempt from execution. Having thu
!. Impoverished the old man, you
i sweetheart will be thrown upon the mel
i cies OF the cruel, cold world, and yor
acting as the authorized agent of the sat
! cruel, cold world, may furnish her what
y ever bread and water she may need &c
j. subsistence.
Y But even these methods are not eXactl
tenderioots, and there is something i
IT your scrawly violet ink handwritin
IS which indicates that you are II peaceabl
h man, so accept another suggestion Solv
/. the wealth question thus: BE magnan
:, nous tell her that you love her in spit
n OF her wealth say that you could NJ
o love her more ii she hadn't cent o
r, earth, and then while you explain to he
II how nicely you can rustic around an
e get the water il she can just furnish tn
bread, she will whisper in your ear or
gentle little chestnut" and your wife
won