The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1886-02-18
sUNBEAMS.

n ~ OCc"CSA hetA IL . S
wish.
A door belle-a pretty and at
tractive maid servant.
,Love's warning cry-"Don't, Jack,
you hurt my vaccination"
According to the Darwinlan the
DRY our ancestors were all tail
bearers.
An .exchangeasays: "Listen to
your wife," How can one help one
self. -
-"Porterhouse steak,
MADAME" New landlady-"No,
boarding house"
"What is Your idea of love, Mr..
Sinnick?'' ''Three meals q day and
we'll cooked"
Women swallow fattery as babies
swallow buttons, without any idea
of the trouble that may follow.
A new word has been coined
which has probably come to stay
hellogram-meaning message by
telephone.
A soft answer turns away no
wrath from q girl when she is seri-
Gus on the popping question and
means business.
When Clara heard that one of her
friends had married the three-arm
ed man from California she exclaim-
ed: "What bliss.''
Jay Gould gave up whisky TWEEN
ty-6ve years ago, since that time he
has made fifty million dollars.
Some men will sacrifice anything
for money.
There is no great difference be-
tween the average Young lady ipos-
sessed of a musical education and a
squeaking toy. They both have to
be pressed to sing.
A Kansas boy canned a nice bible
by copmittingsa hundred verses TO
memory and then he traded his hi
BILE for a shot gun and he accidently
shot his aunt 10 the leg.
"a genuine patriot" said an cleo
ton orator recently, "must at ali
times be ready..to diefor his country,
even though it may cost him bis
life" (Thundering applause.)
"Why does marriage make men
thoughtful?' asked a young lady Of
an old bachelor. "Well, suppose il
is because they are contipgslly won
dering what's g9ing to happen
next"
A teacher asked boy who was
the moekest man. "Moses, sir, }"
was the answer. "eiA' NY
boy; and now, who was the meekest
womanY "Please sir, there never
was any meekest woman"
A clergyman endeaviDg to console
a rich miser lin his dying. hours
asked him: ain looking over your
past life, what do you regreat most
now2" THAT l didn't die TWEEN
ty FIVE years ago, when funerals
were cheaper.
MIR. Blackfriar, (just from Lon
don)-"Yawr Americanlsms are
most perplexing, yaw know, what on
earth is big bug and drop let
ter. Yawr a'ed of US there, yaw
know; we've no drop letters
in England" "Miss Kate-"I
thought q was a drop letter in Eng
land"
That was a cautious old tramp
who, upon being asked whether he
would have a drink of whisky as he
was beginning a job of saving wood,
would he have it when he finished
it, answered: "Well, mum, 1 think
I'll take it now. There has been a
pile of sudden deaths lately"
Minister fashionable church
wedding )-"Whom God hath join
ed together let no man put asunder.
Let US unite in prayer" Bride
(kneeling, whispering)-"Remem
Der, George, we are to pass down
the right aisle, and do try not 10 be
awkward. You mortify me some
times"
Charles" said Mrs. Spendall, 81
saw a beautiful costume to-day, and
| should like it ever and ever so
muchW "And should like you to
have it," replied Charles. "But
really, Clara, haven't the money
to spare" ''Oh, you great tease! l
saw bran new check book in your
desk only yesterday, and not one OF
the checks had been used"
Mrs. Pcterby was reading to her
little son about the north pole and
the Esqulmaux. "The Esquimaux
are not remarkable for neatnsss and
cleanliness, as they neither wash
themselves nor their children more
than once a year." ooh, ma" said
Mrs. Peterby's little little boy, show
1 wish you was an Esqui-ma and pa
was an Esqui-pa! Them's the kind
of parents l need"
"Confound these matchesT' said
Phillip, as be attempted to light his
cigar. They are the poorest ever
saw" ::"I like parlor matches best"
said Cornelia. "Whyp' asked limo
cent Phillip. "Oh, for several rea-
sons. They never hang fire and it
don't take them SO long to come to
the starting point" Phillip came up
to the scratch and parlor match
was made right there.
There are many handsome curl
osities to be made of eggs. Paste
cut flowers on an egg, then cover