The Washington critic., 1886-03-26
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

GpcHklng Ol OOngreSSlOnhl IunerdlS,
Murray says in the Indianapolis Noes
The country gets off cheap ut an aver.
age Of 500, 900 for every. Congressional
death. This makes il at once an eco
nomic question. One way to deal
with it, ] say, is to keep the Congress
man alive. He ought not to object to
that, although there are two or three
members Of the House who object to
nearly everything. Let us have such
precautions thrown around the Con-
gresham rs will give reasonable assur-
ance of his safety. Let us protect him,
IL necessary against himself. Deal
with him, in fact, as you would with n
twenty-thousand dollar horse. See that
he doesn't cat too much, drink too
much, go out too much o. nights. and
that he is put to bed at seasonablc
hour, properly blanketed. A Con.
gressional committee should take him
in charge before disease instead of
after and steer him away from terrapn
and champagne. Hotel proprie.
tors should be forbidden to sell
him whisky under penalty of
being compelled to drink the same
brand themselves. Care should be
taken that he is washed and rubbed
down and wears an evening suit not too
decollete. Cold tea should be abol-
ished at the Capitol restaurant an1
pure milk substituted. BY way Of
compromise, IL might be administered
through the medium of bottle. An
ounce of a few of these simple precau
tions would be worth pound of fu.
neral. Ills life might be insured, the
policy made payable to the Treasurer
of the United States rs an Offset against
funeral expenses. Some way must be
found to relieve the pressure. If this
business is to 90 on, why not conduct
it on business principlcs2 There has
long ceased to be the slightest senti-
mont in IL.
The same correspondent says: | saw
General Longstrcet at the Bull Run
panorama the other day. The general
doesn't look much like the picture on
the bay charger in the foreground, rs
his hair is now white and the once coal
black whiskers are now silvercd by
time. He looked at the great painting
with much interest and finally said: al
see the Bull, but don't see the Run.
The picture is not far from my Office
and like to drop in and hear thc
comments. The other day an ex-union
soldier, who was at the battle, was
describing the attack on the railroad
embankment and jackson, when an
ex- Confederate, who was with Jack
son, contradicted him, declaring
that Fitz John Porter could
not have helped matters. They
finally quarreled and it took all
the panoramic force to fire the bel
ligerent veterans down stairs A good
many excited individuals forgot all
about the picture and went out to see
the fight, and were very much dis
gusted to see ex-Confed and ex- YanlS
go round the corner for a friendly
drink. General w. III. Il. Lee, son OF
Robert E. Lee, was there that day, fol
it is an attractive place to the ex Con
federate. The daughter of General
Pendleton, Lees chief of artillery, and
niece of General r.. Il. Lee, was with
him. She wore on her wrap button
from her distinguished uncles s coat, and
sobbed audibly when she suddenly con
| fronted the picture of her father,
mounted, and directing the artillery
fire represented in the foreground.
**x
Says recent Washington letter in
the Pittsburg Chroniclo- Telegraph: Mr.
William d. Howells, the novelist, is
supposed to be getting materials for Q
new story on Washington life. HC
goes about 1t Systematically. He talks
to people at receptions, argues State
questions with the Congressman, ant
every few days gets quiet seat in the
Senate gallery and studies the phreno
logical development of the heads be
low. The only things he has neglect
ed are the cold tea in the basement ant
the lobbyists. They have been thor
oughly described, however, by people
who know all about them, and hi
Washington novel, If it is going to b.
the one for which the country has beef
waiting so long, can get along just a
well, probably, without them. TIN
trouble with the Washington
novel of the past has beer
rather too much of the sur
roundings of legislation and not enough
of the actual factors in it. There i
too much lobby, too much drinking
and entirely too much theatric detec
tive work with glorious results to til
good young man who never shine
until the last chapter. The Congress
men are all too much like the Hon
Bardwell Slote; and the scenes and in
cidents which are thrown around then
too much like those in the play il
which he figures. 1t is hardly proba
BILE with the advent of better informa
tion about Washington and an actua
improvement In the place, that tn
writer Of the future novel will hav
so many startling incidents and lurit
characters. Mr.. Howells' ideas of tn
novel Of the future include more of til
study of character and personal lif
than of sensations and exciting Incl
dents. He is in favor of realism, and
considering how little the absolutel
truthful figures in fiction, Is dispose
to think that the coming novel wi
be great stride beyond any that ha
gone before.
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.