Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-06-26
HUNTING COMETS.

SEARCHING THE HEAVENS FOR
TIE $500 PRIZE.
Bill Nye Has Found a Comet but 1t
Has no Tail Some Other
Comets Promised Soon.
DR.. Corner. proprietor Of Corners Ne Plus
| Ultra kidney Cdimer, JdsperuiVe, N. j.:
DEAR SRI write to say that last night
was so fortunate as to discover new comet
| for which you were kind enough to offer
prize of 500 last year. AS soon as | read
your offer | Immediately began to scan the
! heavens. presume that there isn't square
foot of the whole sky that | haven't been
over during that time in search of comets.
In January on the early morning OF the
I'd, think, while going home, after assist
ing in the ceremonies of usheIing in the
new year, l discovered a comet of great
magnitude, but on the following evening
when l attempted to put my hand on it
and classify it and draw on you for the
prize money, / found that it had evaded
me- | now agree with my wife that it was
an optical illusion of the first magnitude.
Last week. however, succeeded in run
ming down a large red comet which had
never been used before. 1t was situated in
| the
| CONSTELLATION OF CAssABIANCA,
About due west of the Methodist Church
as you look out of my barn door on a clear
night.
| Its appearance is that of large nebulous
| body with central condensation and no
tail. This is the only drawback to my dis
| cogery. | am sorrow to come to you with
a tailless comet After the long nights of
anxiety and worry, dislike to come to
you, Doc, bringing a bob-tail comet. /
will, therefore, throw $40 off the amount
you offered Send me postal note for 800
Doc, and the comet is yours. You will
! find it where have said if you are careful
| to observe my directions.
Had this comet been success with tail
| to it, would have been glad to bestow my
name upon it, never having put my name
on comet, but would prefer not to name
mutilated comet after myself. A man
works too hard to win deathless name to
1 calmly see it put on a nebulous and skit-
! fish bob-tail comet with no record. | have
had wildcat mining claims named for me,
and my brief but contiguous cognomen
will be found here and there throughout
the American herd-book; but when |
plaster it ON heavenly body want it to
be attached to a good one.
ANOTHER COMET ALMOST DISCOVERED.
| am on the eve of discovering another
| comet however, to which | will not be
ashamed to attach my name. | have only
partially discovered it at this time, but, as
| Herschel would say, there is hen on. got
| a brief view of this comet last night, but
before | could secure it, name it, and draw
on you for the 500, it was gone. As the
bank will be closed tonight at the time the
discovery will no doubt be made, have
| taken the liberty to draw on you to-day on
sight. If do not succeed in discovering
the comet in time for June delivery will
return the money to you.
My first comet was discovered in the
early evening. 1t is not brilliant comet,
but rather inferior in its appearance. Its
| motions also, are erratic, and at times AIM
less. 1t has an elongated orbit, with large
hole in it. | hope that this will make no
difference. however, as it is no fault of
mine. | will agree that it shall not occur
again. | hope some day to discover
A COMET WITH A PARABoLA TO IT.
/ have found a place where one of these
had been the day before and dragged its
parabola across the milky way. What
price do you offer for a comet with para
bola? Also, what will you give me for
small comet in good condition, with peri
helion to it. | found light sorrel comet
last year, but had not completed the dis
covery and filed on it before it disappeared
for the night. | learned the next day that
it was a comet with a large orbit, and that
it would not again return for 5000 years.
The discovery was bona tide one. how
ever, and if you will advance the amount
of the prize, il will of great peeuniary adj
vantage 10 me, and if it does not return on
time as l have said, l will refund the
money to you or your heirs with pleasure.
THIS COMET HAD A LONG, HEAVY NAME
And tail, and seemed to be feeling first rate.
Its tail was turned from me when discov-
cred it, but when | looked at it again | saw
that it was turned this way. When next
looked at it, it was gone. Should any other
astronomer find this comet and report it to
YOU, wish you would tell him that it be-
| longs to me- 1t is about the medium hight.
is good roadster and wears its tail at an
angle of about 45o when il motion. Ii
would drive well with Lexell's comet, 1
think, as they look very much alike; but
as Lexelrs comet had period OF four-and-
a-half years and mine returns once in 1900
years. it would be hard to get them togeth-
er. Lexells comet has escaped now, how
ever. 1t got away in ITO. and if it has
ever returned it has changed so that no one
recognized it. | would rather discover
comets for q livelihood than do anything
else, if it did not keep me from my family
so much.
Do YOU prefer comet with nucleus, or
can YOU use one with parabolic hypoth-
esis to better advantage? Could you use
poem on the Presidential nuptials? l
often write little poems of this character
while
WAITING BEHIND TREE FOR COMET
To come down past me for drink. / also
have a double barrel shotgun in good order
and the right to a small chestnut comet of
about the tenth magnitude, both of which
! would like to dispose of.
In answering this letter please pin the
check to the upper left-hand corner of your
manuscript. Write plainly on one side
only, with your Endorsement on the other.
l cannot promise to return manuscript.
Please write as soon as possible and tell
| me whether YOU wish me to continue my
discoveries or not Should there be any
thing could do for you or for science, let
me know. and l will give You inside figures
and cut rates on comets, microbes, or any
thing else in my line. Please write your
name and postoffice address plainly, and
/ tell the cashier to sign his name plainly at
the bottom of the check. Not necessarily
f. p. b. a. =. GO. G. +
Yours, 5, It'll telescope in each eye and
a comet corkscrew in each hand.
| BILL NYE.