The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-11-11

A BIER garden-the cemetery.
A SPIRIT Medium bunghole.

n
A SPIRIT Medium bunghole.
LOCOMOTIVES are all light headed.
sERnoR." said Goldsmith, sis ever
Lalkatiye." But woman is not On error.
She is blessing. Boston Courier.
AK old lady, being late ut church,
entered as the congregation was rising
from prayer. @Lap said she. cnrtsy-
INC. don't get up on my count. =
Boston Trauetler.
A SOUTHERN newspaper gives an as-
eount of q man who tried to hang hin
self with towel ami came down with
F, crash. Such levity is Il-timed.-
Merchant TraUeler.
YOUNG Farmer Cat the cattle show
Are you fonc of beasts, Miss Gusher-
ron |? Miss Gusherton-Oh, really, Mr..
Pawker, il you mean that as DECLARE
ton. YOU must speak TO mamma
Han dainty boot. her dainty boot;
It h Id fascinating foot,
pre- ty foot but, SAD - TIL.
II held an aching corn as VOL
4sSd fi M! n ssiRG SiiSe G dream ~
boston Courier.
A LITTLE girl of our acquaintance Is
often reprimanded by her mother Tor
her habit of clipping words. Not long
ago, after such a less n, adie went 70
Sunday school, and her teacher hid
smile when she heard her read In the
Bible study, "Beware OF the eteDen OF
the / harisees Harper's Bazaar.
FIRST TRANP-"I say, Bill, what Is
communism ?" Second Tramp = In
explain it to you. have got an empty
bottle and YOU have got dime. L let
you have the bottle. You buy a dimes
worth of whisky and put it in the bot
tie and / drink it out. That's COM
munism. See? "-Teras .Siftjrgs.
MAUD-"Mr. Allround is q sort OF
universal genius; isn't hep" Mabel
"Yes, he is exceedingly clever" Maud
HE is something of lawyer and
something of musici n. What is his
profession Mabel-"Well, the law
yers call him musician and the must
clans call him lawyer. "-Ran,bler.
How IRBEvERENT the most reverent
prayers of children sometimes seem.
Little Jack wanted tricycle., and he
was taught to pray for what he wanted,
As he dropped on his knees by his little
bed he added to his "Now l lay me-:
"Please, God. make papa buy me
tricycle.. That's O dandy. "-H1rtfOfd
Pos.
Mrs. BAGLEY-William, why is it
that Boston people are so literary, 50
refined, 80 noble and so celebratedp
Bagley (angrily)-They amt. Because
your fathers aunt was born in Boston
you are a regular Hub worshiper.
I III 10
why don't they get upa b g exposition?
Mrs. b. (tranquilly)-Perhaps, my dear.
there is nothing to expose.-Philadet-
/ phia Call.
The polite child Is the latest ia the
| juvenile world. She was stroll ng
around the neighborhood on tour OF
observation when she came across
colored man sitting on doorstep. She
stood with her finger in her mouth
looking at him. Finally she said:
you're q colored man, amt you
you're q very polite little girl" he
said. "Yes, I'm colored man" sOh,
yes, I'm very polite. j call every mig
ger see q colored man. San Fran
cisco Chronicle
SHE WANTED TO HEAR I7'hGAIN.
He sat on q bicycle as str ighs ~ an ioisle md
she on tricycle. rode BY his side.
Ho talked like n Jolly fop, and naught could his
folly stop,
With all kinds OF lollipop enlivening the ride
At last incidentally, moro instinsdye than
ment lily he
Grew sentimentaly seccharino sweet,
And he told with in. ensity OF loves strong pro-
pensty, its
Force and immensely. it's farvor and heat
Just then er some hummocks he sprawled eat
kerfiumnuX,
And she thought what n lummux TO tumble
lust then
But he climbed TO his station, while she said
with elation,
-Renew your narration; say it over againr
-Tid-Bits.
IT is said that the authors would be
more widely read if they would only
write as they talk in ordinary CONVEX
sation. 1t is no doubt true that people
in writing are rather inclined 10 be ehe-
giant Off we may use that favorite up
holstering and neck-tie department.
world instead of being natural Let
a prize-fghter tell a reporter that "he
didn't have no show, or he would have
damned the bloomin' snoos off of him."
and the interview in the paper will dis
close the fact that the pugilst said: "I
was not iairly treated at the hands Of
those present; their conduct was gross
in the extreme. Hal l received fam
play, 1 am certain that the verdict
would have been in my favor. PUCK