Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-11-09
A WARM DAY.
The Horribly Torrid or Torrldly Horrld
Summer ClI-lAte OF San Diego, Cal.

The Horribly Torrld or Torrldly Horrld
Summer cl'-lAto OF San Diego, Cal.
/ take a piece of dried ink whitfield
down in my hand to inform you that
the equator has slipped several notches
or two and got directly over us, say ten
feet above us, with warmer indications
by the corn barometer, and making one
think he is in Wiltshire, sure. 1t istor-
ridly horrid, or horribly torrid, we
don't know which, or both. but we
rather think 50. The impression is that
we have dried and gone there. for we
never saw so much weather with the
cold jerked completely out of it The
beauty Of it is that we do not allow any
body TO mention it only when he is by
himself If Hottentot were here to-
day he would become hottentotter. A
brick wall doesn't give any shade be-
cause the sun just knocks the mortar
out between the bricks and shines
through. 1t is the hottest day ever seen
in this country, and you couldn't ex-
pect to find hotter one in future
country.
Nothing will cast q shadow. The
sun shines in the windows of all four
s des of the house. You walk around
without shadOw-which is a great
relief to some of the citizens, as even
the police can't shadow you. II
you ever had a shadow on your reputa-
ton there is none there now. 1t Is use
less for your neighbors to try to lay
you in the shade. You do not need any
wood in the stoves TO cook with, as the
stoves are already red hot.
All kinds Of businesss transactions
are red hot, and people get their fingers
burned, and it is impossible for people
to treat their enemies with the usual
cool indifference. The mercury is at
the extreme Fahrenheit of its career,
andnoihng but hot words now pass cur
rent between ncighbors. Water, when it
gets to such consistency that you can
roll it up in your hands and make
base ball out of it, is certainly won-
derful thing. You perspire until you
are dry, and 1t looks as if they would
have to soak us week to bring US
back 10 life and soften us up q little un-
til we are more pliablo, Even the
shades Of departed heroes are few and
far between.
The usually cool, calculating man is
not here now, nor the neighbor who can
give YOU the cold shoulder. A cake of
ice out in the sun soon is done brown,
well-baked crust being formed on the
surface of ii. Boardcrs are not COM
planning about the landlady's cold
victuals at meals, for they are all hot.
If you want to bake bread just put it in
to refrigerator and it will soon be
done. Ice-cream signs are all taken in,
and the young men cease TO be taken in,
as ice cream can not endure this weather
and survive.
If you put rods on your house to pre-
vent the heat from striking it your Ia.
Dor will be in vain, for the sun-bolts will
strike down through the roof and catch
you. even II you are under feather
bod.
The man who ventures out with cool
soaked brick in his hat, thinking to
knock the heat off with it, will soon 90
to ground struck either by the heat or
the brick. Lawyers to-day are actually
sweating in their efforts to make other
people sweat. Old grudges seem to be
softoning and running away, and old
sailors say that there is certainly clear
passage to the North Pole and it would
be u good time to start out for it now if
you were well equipped with linen
busters and have goot assortment
of fans. Fans do no good here, as
they merely blow the heat against your
face and sngc your beard Off If one
were a Shadrach, Mesach or an Abed-
nego he might go through this fiery
ordeal without s'nge, hut / do not
think any Of us are eligible for the posi-.
iion. Yot If you start out with buggy
you win be apt to think that you arc
an Elijah making the trip in fiery
charlot-though without clearance
papers. Money In you pockets gets
hotter than ever and burns holes in
them a great deal quicker. -... ....
/ It is such fierce holiness that we are
grievously depressed because we can
not run around and pay other people
what we owe them-so are said other
people. The umbrella handle actually
blisters your hand when you start out
with it, while you feel that you are a
sort Of a walking conhagration, and
yearn for some one to put you out
The fiery illusions of the poet can not be
qucnched even by the cold water which
the humane editor throws on them.
Figures Of speech are inadequate to
express the figures of heat The earth
Is heated so far down that we will have
hot winters for some time. But we can
safely state that book agents, insurance
men, feas, flies and other insects are
standing this hot spell wonderfully
well.-A. W. Beliaw, IN Detroit Free
/ H.. N