Morning journal and courier., 1886-03-01
CALLED.

F'It is every mans duty to labor at his call ing'' is a maxim which applies particularly to telephone perators.-Lynn Item. Nature accommodates herself to the cir cumstances of the people. You never heard ot waterspout in entucky.--Pittsburg Chron icle-Telegraph.
 Examination Day. ommitteeman-t'What animal is the most capable of attaching it. self to manf' Head of the class-''The leech!'-Boston Beacon.
 ''In heating a room," said the professor of the scientific class, ''what is the first and most important thing to be conside1ed!' Material for the fire" replied an intelligent student.-New York Times.
 ''Soft, delicately tinted faille, D says 8 fash ion authority, s'has artistic effect when combined with plush'' The red nosed man will now see the necessity of wearing a cream colored tie if he wants to look artistic.-Phil- adelphia Herald.
 The queen has ordered her equerry to open a circus for her especial benefit. How odd her majesty would look sitting on a two finch board munching peanuts and drinking red lemonade, with her feet, etc., dangling in mid air!-Boston Transcript.
 They were visiting museum filled with dilapidated statuary and other relics from ancient Greece. ''It is sad," she said, Every sad, to look upon these remains of that glorious era. Is it not 8 touching sight, CharIeya" 'Yes," he responded. 'tThese are the fragments of broken art. Howell Citizen.
 Bobby was awake when his mother re- turned home from the theater at midnight "Did you say your prayers to nurse, Bobby" she asked, "before you went to bed!' 'No," :" he said, sleepily, T forgot it." "Wen, you had better come and say them to me now" 'tWhat," said Bobby, in drowsy astonish ment, 'does God stay up all night?'- Life.
 Although banker and one of the best business men in the world, the late Lord Mayor of London, Sir R. N. Fowler, writes so atrocious hand that sentence which he intended to be read as follows: "I regard the conduct of the government in this mat ter as absolutely inhuman," was, owing to the inability of the printer to decipher what was meant, transformed in type into q rarely can compass tale My grandmother is the best narrator of amusing incidents. '- Exchange.
 First Young Man (meeting second young man in billiard saloon)-Is it possible I see you here again? This makes five nights in succession.
 Second Young man-Well, sir, what of it? Haven't I aright to come here as often as choosea
 ooh, certainly-no offense-but--you used
 
 see that little Miss Shrimp about every night in the week"
 ''That was three months ago. I am mar ried"
 'sAh! that accounts for t."-Philadelphia Call.
 The California girl doesn't get left often. The T. c. travelled on the same train with her not long ago, and she wanted to stand on the platform and view the scenery, and the cOn1ncfor r,rafarrad she yUou16nt Sha fixed him naughty stare and remarked grandly: ''Do you know who I am? Perhaps you are not aware of the position my father occupies in this company" Conductor withdrew his objections and retired, and the pretty girl smiled on the T. c. and observed affably: "As long as he didn't know it's all right. My father took the tickets for about a week while the man at the office was sick" and she proceeded to enjoy the scenery.-San Francisco News Letter.