The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-09-08
Pith and Point.

JENNIE p: You asked us TO find a place
for your poem. As you didn't specify the
place, we found one for IL in the waste
basket PhHddelphid CAL.
A MAN came to Dubuque, Iowa, all the
way from Germany to witness the marriage
of his brother. Three days after the cere-
mony he started on his return journey.
In Borneo one girl will bring five cows.
In Massachusetts one COW will bring five
girls--to a full stop, looking about for the
easiest way to get over the fence.-LOlCeH
Courier.
THERE is an islet near the Isles of Shoals
called Smutty Nose, and the Boston visitors
want to change its name to Emerson. Gull
ture is mighty and will prevail.-Putsburg
Chronicle.
A CRUSADE against baby carriages is being
prosecuted by an English medical man, who
attributes much of the infant mortality
from diseases of the brain and lungs to ex-
| posure in carriages.
PROFESSOR LINTNER, state entomologist of
| New York, says this is poor season for in
sects. Not nearly so many are found as last
| year. There is marked scarcity of the
more injurious species.
Two years ago it was thought that calf
| shoes would drive long boots from the field,
especially in cities, where the sidewalks are
| paved. Now the demand for boots is much
| larger in proportion than for shoes.-ShOe
and Leather Reporter.
potato patch at Plattekill, New York,
during a recent thunder storm, and scorched
the vines in a circle of fifteen feet. Directly
in the center of the circle the tubers were
uncovered and many of them were baked
In ten years the consumption of rasins
and currants in France has increased from
about 5000 tons annually to 5000 tons u
| year. They are used in the manufacture of
wine, and the liquor produced is declared
to be perfectly wholesome, possessing many
I,ftl .. t.,a q r. al
juice of the grape.
A FARMER sent dollar for lightning
potato-bug killer, which he saw advertised
in paper, and received by return mail two
blocks of wood, with directions printed on
them as follows: Take this block, which
is No. l. in the right hand; place the bug on
No. 2 and press them together. Remove
the bug and proceed as before"
AN ingenious citizen of Ware Mass, hav-
ing repaired small alarm clock for a friend,
decided to deliver it on Sunday when he
went to church; but he did not see his
friend before the services, and during the
sermon the alarm went off and whirred
away for more than a minute, despite the
frantic efforts of the clock-tinker to stop it.
THE late Professor Stowe had delightful
way of naming inanimate objects about him.
The cane that supported him through his
latter days he called " st. Jerrold." 1t stood
, at the head of his coffin, while clasped in the
hands of the venerable theologian was a
well-worn copy of the Greek Testament,
which had been his inseparable companion
, for years.
In a very few weeks the hunting party of
Chicago gentlemen in the special car will
, be among us. They will follow their usual
t course-shoot their imported dogs by mis-
, take and get run back into town by some
farmer with a four-tined ptchfork, whose
calf they have blazed away at under the inn
preston that it was an antelope.-EStelline
(DdkOtd) Bell
BUFFALO is to have the largest clock in
: the world. The dial will be twenty-five
! feet in diameter and the center of the dial
will be 361 feet above the street. The dial
, will be illuminated by electricity and it is
! calculated that the time can be seen at night
: from any point in the city, and with field
glass the position of the hands can be dis
tnguished at distance of fifteen miles.
' DIR. TANNER, the notorious faster, has
a been heard from. He is now a member of
!: the community of Fathists at Salem, N.
e II. In letter to the daily press he asserts
. that nine-tenths of all the crime and disease
: in this world is due to the human stomach
This is the doctrine of the Faithists, but ac-
cording to reports they are not happy
l. family, despite their abstinence from meat
IT is said that Mr.. Cutting is allowed three
square meals day and in other ways is
8 well treated. As previous to his arrest he
4 was running cheap little frontier news
d paper, it is probable that he does not en-
g tirely sympathize with the efforts of the
= state department to compel his release, as
l. between three square meals day and coun-
n try journalism the wise man always takes
i the former Chicago Times.
d LAWYER Ito timid young woman): Have
e you ever appeared as witness in suit be
st force" Young woman (blushing): "Y-yes
+ sir of course" Lawyer: please state tC
n the jury just what suit it was" Young
rs woman with more confidence: 1t was
e nuns yelling, shrred down the front anC
trimmed with lovely blue, with hat t.
match" Judge trapping violently: "Orde
p in the court!-honSdS city Journal.
d A GREAT summer hotel near New Yorl
'e is tenanted by solitary Waterman. Once
Is in awhile the Waterman goes up to the desk
is asks if there are any letters. snubs himself
follows an imaginary bell-boy up eigb
flights of stairs, brings himself very small
pitcher of ice-water and gives himself
IS dollar bill sits down to large plate will
he an oyster cracker on it, and feels that he il
s. really away for the summer.-BoSton Tran
L. script
~ A GEORGIA editor who lost his umbrell
,s took his revenge in this paragraph: TIL
81 man who came into my Office and delibeI
~ ately stole my umbrella is worse than
thief and meaner than an assassin, lowe
- than a blackguard and ugier than a Graz
;, quilt. May each rain-drop that falls upo
Of him turn into drops of blazing vitriol ant
- each sun-ray bristle with 10000 pointe'
,n uetuleS ulppti III pOlSoH W pIlth III
- putrid flesh
ct A RAILWAY conductor in Cincinnati
th credited with saying: Most of us shay
r. on the train, no matter how fast it is run
re ming whether it is ten or fifty miles an hour
s. The engineer on our train shaves himsel
4, regularly on his engine and makes as nice
r. clean and safe shave as is done in tn
r. most comfortable BARRIERS chair in tn
,W world. It's little risky to beginners, but t
n old hands, who get the motion of the traI
id there is no difficulty at all"
r. CAPTAIN JOSEPH WHITRDGE, who recent
IS. died near Springfield, Ohio, at the age
ry eighty-three, had made pretty Thorough
IS. preparation for death up to a certain poin
e. Thirty years ago he put away heavy plan
IS. of burr oak, and, after letting it season TO
We twenty years, had his coffin made of it, III
az bought winding-sheet and placed it in tn
%, coffin, which was stored away in dar
az room. Twelve years ago he dug a vault i
is a field near his house, walled il up, covere
in it with sandstone slabs and placed bowlde
al weighing seven tons for the headstone. III
TO was buried in this coffin and grave.
RECENTLY remarkable surgical opera
81 ton was performed at the Massachusetts
r. General Hospital, Boston, by DIR. Mauric
Us II. Richardson. About year ago job
er Mccarthy swallowed set of artificial teeth
ne The passage of food to the stomach was a
w. most wholly prevented, the patient grey