Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-06-13
FOOLED MS WIFE.
How n Brilliant Schemer Got Par
ticularly Good Dinner.
IChlcago NeWs.l

at is only about twice year, - remarked
Statc-SenatOr William l.. Mason yesterday,
"that Pm smart enough 10 fool my wife.
Last Monday played trick that ought
TO serve a. capitll sugg stlon for
other husbands to conduct operations
on. Along about O'Clock In tie
afternoon / began to get fatnt AMI
hungry; | had been working hard
on dav and was as ilmishcd and n Jagged
as 4 hunted wolf. As | sat IN my oilice-
| char wondering what was going 10 hnd
| for dinner when ! got hOnc, IN entirely
new and maryellOusly brilliant idea iil>hrd
upon me. 1t broke upon my intellect
much as a stray plank dances before the de-
| spairiDC vision of drowning man. II
| made my mouth fairly water a' 1t deyel-
orcd is details in my greedy BRAN.
made a Decline for the telephone ana
called the Central office.
"'Giye ME $685. said ], and t1en |
| cbuckled all over, aud my mouth kept on
watering.
'Bur-r-r' went the telephone. / put
| my mouth close to the funnel. and in shriil
| .ai,ct,o voice asked Is that Senator Ma
| sons housef'
Yes came the answer, aul I re-
rcognIzed my wife at the other end OF the
wire.
81, the Senator at homc'' asked in the
same feminine voice.
mo was the reply.
."'Well, then, is Mrs. Mason? | in
Quired.
"'Yes, am Mrs. Mason was the an
swer.
ooh, is that you?' I erred; how do
YOU doi'
"'Why, how d'you do p responded nv
wife. but | knew by her tones that she
| hadn't the remotest idea whom she was
| talking 70.
- How are all the chilGren!' 1 asked.
"'They're all very Well said wife.
"'Well' said |, Il happened to be in
| town shopping to-day, and | thought I'd
20 over TO your house to dinner
"Well, that sort OF staggered wife. She
mustered up voice enough TO ask, Who
are you!'
"iThen | answered. why, don't you
recognize the voice! I'm Mrs. Mya-yah
81 don't catch the name-speak it
| louder she pleaded.
| "'Mrs. Mya-yahv repeated and with
that. in order to preclude all embarrassing
| complications, shut Off the telephone "a
| tight rs / could. Then threw myself into
a chair and laughed till like to went into
| apoplexy. Laugh! Well you ought to
| have seen the plastering fall all around
met But, to make a long story short,
reached home about j:i5, and OF all the
| dinners | ever capped eyes On-gosh, 1t
| was banquet Wife had her new black
| silk drcs, ON, and she had slcked the cbil-
dren I'D SO that | could hardly Identity
| item.
al think we'd better wait dianer
| awhile my DEAR said vile.
"'Why SOP | asked. Bless you'
I'm as hungry as an alligator
| "Then wife told me she was expecting
| a lady guest, and she repeated the details
| OF The telephone OF the afternoon. IL was
a fearful ordeal, but managed to look IN
nocent, and Of course | wondered who the
| lady could be.
| "Indeed, | don't know said wife,
but her voice was strangely familiar. I've
been puzzling myself nearly 10 death try
| Ing 10 guess WHO II was
| I'Well. we waited fifteen minutes, and
1 then we sat down to that banquet-and .
royal feast il was! We had soup and fsh
| and a big roast and about dozen little side
| dishes, aud wife had sent out and bought a
| gallon Of pink ice-cream aud frosted cake
| for desert. i stood il as long As | could.
| When it came to the pink ice-cream |
| couldn't stand II any longer. As | was
slicing II of looked At wife kind Of side.
! ways and said in falsetto voice: MY
dear, I'm sorry Mrs. Mya-yah didn't come. ;
"Wife dropped her Dresden-china coffee
cup as IL she had been paralyzed.
-" William +. Mason-yOu brute!' she
gasIed.
"The children enjoyed the joke quite as
much as l did-yes, and wife, too, got to
laughing about 1t after awhile. our boy
Louis said, Do it again, pa; it's mighty
folly to have a big dinner once in awhile
"But look here, you reporter; you
aren't taking notes on mey Come, come,
now, that's not right; you mustn't tell the
story on me. Put it on somebody else
put II on Bill Campbell!"