Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-07-10
ILLUSTR ATED.

A New York newspaper boasts that it owns
tomahawk. We should judge so from the
character of its Illustrations Burlington
Free Press.
Office seekers are more discouraged since
the Presidents marriage than ever. 1t ap.
pears that Mrs. Cleveland plays the piano.
Lowell Citizen.
A nautical view Mamma-''Don't you
know that your father is the majnstay of the
family?" Freddy-"Golly, amt he though!
and the spanker, too."-Life.
"Women's work is never done" This
suggests a marked similarity between wo-
mems work and the undercrust of some wo-
mems pie.-New York Graphic.
Counsel for the defence: "Gentlemen of
the jury, if there ever was a case which,
full comparison with similar cases, this case
is that case. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
One of the graduates of a female college
had for her essay "Our Crowning Glory"
But the girls thought it inappropriately
named, as it did not contain single refer
ence to bonnets.-Yonkers Statesman.
Two aged COWS of peaceful character were
seen chasing a man all over field in Hill
nois the other day, much to the astonish-
ment of the honest old granger who owned
them. Inquiry revealed the fact that the
man was drummer for Chicago oleomar-
garine factory Citizen.
Mamma" said Johnnie, still smarting
from shingle application, "is the roof of
anything on top of its' "Of course it is, she
said shortly. "And don't shingles always go
on the roofa" Certainly they do" Then
Johnnie was silent for while. Finally he
said, in a quavering voice, Mamma, amt
my roof upside DOWN. Washington Critic
English school board education continues
10 IL lee 1o4o 80
In answer to the question, put by the dioce-
san inspector, Describe some effects of the
proceedings under Queen Mary the glib an
swer was reeled off: ''Many of the bishops
were deprived of their Sees" One of the
managers, however, cross-examined the chill
dren on the above answer, and asked the
meaning of the statement. After long
pause one boy put up his hand and said,
clad their eyes put outl'
The following story comes from school
in the midlands: The master told the boys
of the third class to write a short essay on
Columbus. The following was sent up by
an ambitious essayist. columbus was a
man who could make an egg stand on end
without breaking it. The King of Spain
said to Columbus; Can you discover Amer
icas' Yes said Columbus, if you will give
me ship So he had ship and sailed over
the sea in the direction where he thought
America ought to be found. The sailors
quarreled and said they believed there was
no such place. But after many days the
pilot came to him and said; 'Clumbus, see
land 'Then that is America said Clum-
bus. When the ship got near the land was
full of black men. Clumbus said; is this
AmericaE Yes, it is,' said they. Then he
said 4 suppose you are the niggersY Yes,
they said, I'VE are The chief said: 4 sup
pose you are Clumbus.' You are right,
said he Then the chief turned to his men
and said: There is no help for it, we are
discovered at last '''-Lendon standard.
Doctor cut me this piece of lead
Out of the ball of my large blue eye,
Sew up the scalp on the top of my head
And splinter the fragments of my thigh;
don't believe I'm going to die
In spite of the blood all over the bed,
I'll live for another Fourth of July"
This is what little Johnny said.
-PhiIadelphia News,