The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-01-15
THE PRESS.
RIDAY MORNING, JANUARY 10.
WIT AND WISDOM.

good story is told of an encounter Judge KEEL
lev recently had with Stuart Robson the come
dian. They met at a hotel in Philadelphia, and
being introduced, MIR. Robson said: "They tell me
You are the father of the House"
'That's my proudest title" responded the judge.
"Then l suppose Pm one OF your discarded
children-a waif, so to speak, and prodigal, who
is waiting for you to ring the dinner-be and carve
the calf. / served in the Thirty-Ninth Congress
lis it possible?'' responded the Judge my
memory is ordinarily good, but do not recall
Don't mention it." interrupted Robson, don't
mention it.. L beg of you; l accept your apology;
not another word, my dear fellow-not another
word. twas not fixed star, you know-only a
were not recognized. was not appreciated. My
career was nipped in the bud, like What ou-call-
him's rat. l was not reelected, but 1 have no
hard feelings toward you on that account l as
sure you. We will not let it stand between u.s.
'You we're member OF the Thirty Ninth Con-
gress," said the judge, musingly
1No air: YOU misunderstood me. didn't say
was member. was page. cleaned spittoonS
and that sort Of thing IA ana wasn't {.
Being taken with a severe crick in the back,
was induced to try Athlophoros, and am happy to
say that in twenty minutes ! was improved and
in two days was able to attend to business as usu-
al. A. R. Norton, Bristol, Conn.
Only imagine a man acting for one single day on
the supposition that all his neighbors believe all
they profess and act up to all they believe. lmag-
safely offer the deadliest of injuries and insults to
everybody who says revenge Is sinful; or that he
may safely ntrust all his property without securi
ty to any person who says IL is wrong to steal.
Such a character would be too absurd for the
widest farce.-Lord Macaulay
A WEAK BACK with weary aching lameness
over the hips, is a sign of diseased kidneys. Use
the best kidney curative known, which is Bur
dock Blood Bitters.
dear, that the most patient man that ever lived
Wife dmpatiently)- don't talk to me
about the patience of Job. Think OF Mrs JoDl
The patience that poor woman must have had TO
put up with such manr
Try Carter's Little Nerve Pills for any case of
nervousness, sleeplessness, weak stomach, indi-
gestion, dyspepsia &c. relief is sure. The only
nerve medicine for the price in market In walls
at 20 cents
A too common kind of charity Many and many
a time little girls mother had lectured her on
the sin of extravaganza In only eating the centre
from each piece Of bread while the crusts were
as possible out of sight. To make the matter more
impressive, the mother said one day, There are
and some Of them even starye to death, for the
lack of the bread you waste, dear"
Then Why don't you GIVE te my
Colgan's Tafy Tou prevents nausea.
Colgan's Tafy Tolu strengthens the teeth and
imparts healthy color to the gums.
Foppery is never cured; it is the bad stammer-
ing ofthe mind which. like those OF the Dody, are
never rectified; once eoxcomb, ana always a
coxcomb.-Dr S. johnson.
If YOU are tired taking the large old-fashloneo
gripping pills. try Carter's Little Liver Pills and
take some comfort man can't stand every
thing One pill dose.
Men are good deal like dried apples: When
they are soaked in the water Of prosperity they
begin to SWELL