Morning journal and courier., 1886-05-25
EAR IN.

When Eve made her debut there was no other woman to ask, "What did she have on?-Boston Courier.
 Some crank is trying to make people be- lieve that the dumb waiter was invented by a woman. How absurd!-LoweN Citizen.
 She-"He's 8 very knowing dog; why, when it's 10 o'clock papa always closes tue house, you know, and then Carlo barks; he's going to bark now. Pluck.
 s'Do you believe this story told by the po- lice, that there are no gambling houses run ming in ChicagoP "Yes Why should they run? There's nothing for them to be afraid of."-Chieago News.
 Guest (to host, to whom, by some mistake, he has not been introduced) )-Well you seem to be having about stupid time as my self; suppose we go to the supper room. (They go.)-Columbia Spectator.
 Bridget (to iceman)-Av ye blaze, sir, me missus sez will yez put the ice in the saucer here livery mornin', and cover it wid the tay cup. can have some left ii we don't get there the mint ye lave it.-Palmer Journal Gibbs-So the man was killed up at the hotel, was he?
 Squibbs-Yes, shot right in the rotunda. Gibbs-Great Scott! No wonder it killed him. That's terrible place to hit g man. Chicago Rambler.
 Heard on the street: "Going to the circus to-nightp 'Don't know; haven't heard my wife say whether she wants to go." "You don't mean you'll take your wifef' "Oh, no; if she don't want to go I'll come round and go with you, but if she wants to go we'll both stay at home, you know. w.-Spring6eld Home stead.
 Grandma's hearing is not so good as it was in her early days At the supper table the imprisonment of Jaehne was the topic of conversation and she asked what work the | ex-alderman was doing in the State prison. "He's starching shirts," was the reply. Grandma in a mortified tone of voice Starting churchl I should not think he was fitted for that work. ."-New York Post. An old lady was conversing with two girls in an intelligence office the other day, one of them evidently recent arrival. Her com panion, who appeared to be longer in the country, was giving her points by which to ask questions. 'Have you set tubs" asked the verdant specimen of an older civilization. The old lady smiled as this stereotyped in quiry was put, and answered the question with another by asking, "How long have you been in this countryr' "Three months" was the reply. ''Oh, then" remarked the lady, "you will hardly miss them, for we have none in our house." "But," answered the applicant for place, i've don't have the washes at home that you do here" ''So have understood" calmly rejoined the lady Boston Budget.
 This story is told of MT. Mac, a well known humorist residing at Rockliffe, Can ada, on the Ottowa, who combines the duties of station agent and postmaster Having act ed for some time master of mails at that place to the satisfaction of the community, but without pay, the M. P. for the district procured his appointment as postmaster. and the head of the department wrote him that he had much pleasure in confirming him in his position-"the salary to be the same as heretofore" This pleased Mac immensely, AL zls zc ,1ol1 honor. 'I just wrote him." he says, "that felt honored, as in duty bound, by the con frmation of my appointment, and was glad to know that the salary was to be the same as heretofore, nothing year; for, says I, I'd anYthing!',-Harper' Magazine for June.