Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-01-07
HREp Axp THERE.

Things One would Rather have Left |
Unsaid. Visitor; 'sHow is II, ] wonder that |
youalways get better tea at other peoples
houses than your own 2p--L London Punch.
The clergy, you may have noticed, are
much more forcibly reminded of the ''un- |
certainty OF life" when millionaire dies |
suddenly than when a poor man drops
dead.-NorYist0soR Herald.
Mr. Chauncey Depew says that Wander
bilt "wns constantly in debt and pressed
for the want of money" This is probably
one of his friends after dinner condolences
that he is disclosing. Boston Post.
A lively lot of children must be those
of one Of our esteemed contemporaries,
which says of them: "0ur children look
for the visits of st Nicholas with an eager
ness unquenched by 5000 miles ofrolling
pillows"
Newspaper reporter TO President of com
pany: elias your company taken any
steps yet to pay its taxes 7" "Why, GER
tainly, sir. We have made two protests
against the constitutionality of the law"
: Val Street Ne,os.
A dispatch to q Cincinnati paper says;
"a fearful blizzard from the West has
prevailed at Ludington, Mich, since
last midnight. lake Michigan is boiling"
The dispatch is wrong. Lake Michigan
is freezing. -DetaOit Free Press.
Senator Eyart's Shortest Speech. Mr..
Eyarts--"Mr P1esident--"Mr Hoar-"
now move, with the leave of the Senator
from New York, that the Senate proceed
to the consideration of executive bust
ness" The motion was agreed to.-O0n-
gresaonal Record.
Bagley Ito Bailey: az say, Shocks has
dropped OH TO very bright advertise
ment, hasn't he-Snooks, the lawyer, yon
known Bailey: "What does he say 2"
Bagley: casks the people to give him q
trial. He's just opened his Office, you
lnow."-- 1fd5its.
The Hartford Eoening Post contains
this startling piece of information :
emperor William of Germany recently
: shot 81 head of game sitting in his easy
chair" II must be awfully exasperating
, to find 81 head of game sitting in ones
easy chair, and under the circumstances
one cannot really blame Kaiser Wilhelm
: for shooting the critters.-BOSt0n Tran.
script.
: The Quick-Witted Ruralist. ZONE
morning Mr.. Sinner and his hired mar
were out in the barn-yard hitching up
l
the horse, and finally bit him on the nose
8 The dog then bit Mr.. Sinner and the hired
man. They then began to notice hii
0 strange actions and concluded he wal
T mad. Port Jerois Union.
: No novelty to her.-"Here is curiou
= case, ma'am," said the superintendent o
= the insane asylum. "This man iinagine
l. he is the motive power that runs til,
}: world. He's perfectly harmless though
but he thinks the world wouldn't NOV
" without him. Very queer notion, ism
l. it?" II don't know about that my hds
band has got just tho same notion in hi
70 head. California Maverick.
a The Money Market.--A student Mt til
10 University of Texas, having spent hi
W allowance in riotous living, was oblige
r to apply to Nose Schaumburg for TEN
poraTy loan. On making a note of tn
10 transaction in his memorandum book, til
III student wrote: Borrowed of Hon. Mos
Schaumburg $25." On the day follow
OF ing the student received money frol
lg home and paid off the debt. Then th
L student wrote in his notebook "Pai
that id jew, Nose Shylock, $25."
A Teas SiftingS.
be Thoughtful Boston Young lady, il
ed tensely interested in ancient history
Harvard Junior: "Ah, Mr.. H, whe
i'd you think of the old Egyptians do yo
ce not feel impressed with the sense of o,
hit Indebtedness to the great Rosetta Stonei
Harvard Junior, slightly discomposed, b1
ed coming calamity forward; eyes, yes, il
he deed; but then her reign only gives us
= further proof of woman's influence, W
Of know" Enthusiastic young Indy descen,
re to lower level.-BoSton Journal
Id. Mr.. Sol Smith Russell tells how he I
he Gently renewed an acquaintance with NJ
to Otto Schnelgarten, of Milwaukee. Seine
er- garten set up the beer, and presently
pa said Led me SO, Sol, you oond me v
apoud the same age, aind it? How o
nd vos you, anyway" II am thirty-sev
er- years old" replied Mr.. Russell. "Ac
tile gone, now-dot vos choke !" insist
lch Schnelgarten, smiling sceptically. "No
Sed protested Mr.. Russell. III was born
as 1913" "In eighdeen fordy-eighd, eh
cried Schnelgarten. sect oud! 1 gat
ing you now-you told me dot ten years ago
md Failed to note the exception.-Squi
He Riggs, Mississippi lawyer, in the &C
the duct of his cases is so given to ''deml
a ring and filing billsof exceptions" IL
on he is known all over his judicial distri
Ike rs sold Demurrer" During a rece
My trial he filed no less than seventeen exec
tons to the rulings of the Court. Final
cad the Judge lost patience with him, a
a charged him with unprofessional condu
OF and refused to allow him to proceed II
the Their as an attorney in the case. "DD
in such another court as this" said
and Squire, whereupon the Judge fined h
cad $40 for contempt. Contempt! 7"
bed claimed the Squire. "Yes, sir, for CT
her tempt of this court" replied the Jud
was "But, Judge, l said nothing of this Co
that could be construed ms contemp
Who "You did, SIR" "What did say, ma,
one please your Honor ~ "You said,
not Darn this court +" "You are mistals
all Judge, and failed to note my excepti'
leld distinctly said, Darn such another co,
INST as this "-"The fine is RENTED proct
with the case, gentlemen, said the judi
he Detroit Free Press. .....
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