Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-04-17
Love Can Conquer Poverty Don't Let
Poverty Prevent Your Marriage.


Most good-hearted people rebel at
the old proverb: "When poverty
comes in at the door, love flies out at
the window" And yet it cannot be
denied that it too often proves true.
When man is overwhelmed bycare
and crushed with poverty, he is apt
to lose heart, to become irritable, to
leave off those tokens of affection
which are priced by wife, not be-
cause he has ceased to love her, but
because, in the presence of his trouble,
while the burden is heavy on his
back, anything that tells of refresh
ment and ease without removing the
burden seems like a mockery. And
too often the wife, who shares the
burden, mistakes the irritability and
bad temper for want of love; it hurts
her that her caresses have no power
to charm away the black care which
sits on her husbands brow, and in
her turn she becomes morose, silent
and reproachful. The husband, who
would have appreciated silent sym
pathy, even though he had not shown
his appreciation of it, resents the want
of it. He feels as if his wife was de-
serting him in his hour of need, and
it only wants an opportunity to make
a quarrel which will be hard to heal.
The truth is that love; like all things
human, needs to be tried before we
can be sure what it really is. But
circumstances alter cases, and much
depends upon the character, the up
bringing, the ideas of those who are
chiefly concerned. A girl who has
been brought up to make the best of
a small income, and bear discomforts
cheerfully, would be safe in risking
what would be fatal to the happiness
of her less brave or less capablesister.
And, in the same way, the character
for steady industry and energy of one
young man may be a better security
against poverty than the good situa-
ton or tiattering prospects of another.
So long as young folks clearly under
stand what they have to face in an
early marriage upon small income
there is not much fear of poverty put
ting love to flight, even if he knocks
at the door; even if he succeeds in
forcing an entrance. 1t is in sanguine
heedlessness that there is danger.
And when one considers the many
advantages which flow from early
1--WE do not mean too early marri-
ages, one cannot help thinking that
as much harm is done by hard, cold,
calculating cOunsels as by reckless
ness itself. Long engagmentsare apt
to prove heavy yokes; and there is
such thing as starving out love as
we'll as frightening him away by pow.
erty. Our advice would be that when
Tom and Mary find that they have 8
suficiency, bare though it may be
for the present, and fair prospect
of some increase, they should marry
as soon as they can furnish a house
without running into debt. Better
put up with hardships, better try ;
fall or two with the ugly intruder
poverty, than remain apart, growing
colder and more selfish year by year
till the day for making happy mar
riage goes by, never to come again
Some of those who have looked pow
erty in the face tell us that he is no
50 terrible as might have been ex
pected and that even in his grip
painful as it is, there are strength ant
endurance to be learned. If the enc
my is met in such spirit as this
love is not likely to be frightened
away.