The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-09
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

Mr.. Barnum sadly remarks that the
death of Jumbo leaves vacancy thai
can not be filled. No doubt this is true
Naval Examiner-"Now, sir, wilF
examine YOU for color-blindness. What
color is this light?" '.How the deuce
can tell unless you take that red globe
off of it?''-C CHICAGO Ncws.
-Seven-hundred-a and fifty-dollar fans
are very common in New York, but
sensible girls don't look for such pres
ents. They take fifty-cent fan and
$749.50 in ice cream and soda-water.-
Detroit Free Press.
Two jockeys have been killed at
norse-racing in New York recently. A
few more casualties of that kind and
the horse trot will supersede base ball
as the National game" in this country.
-Norristown Herald.
FL always pick my company" said
braggart who was elbowing his way
through crowd. ''And their pockets,
when you get chance!" added quiet
gentleman. who stood politely aside,
with bow.-Golden DAYS.
-'I wish. mamma, dear?' protested
cute little Laura, knitting her brows in
comical severity; II really do wish
you'd make Harry stop throwing peach
kernels at me. He hasn't hit ME vet;
but every time he throws he hurts my
feelings dreadfullv.
do not put salt into soup when
cooking until it has been SKINNED, as
salt prevents the scum from rising"
So salt prevents the scum from rising.
eh?' Another reason why the fresh
youth should be attended to immediate
ly."-Boston- Transcript
The New York Graphic describes a
forthcoming volume as about half tho
size of q pocketbook. This is too indef-
mite. If it means Vanderbilt's pocket
book 1t would be library in itself, but
if our pocketbook is understood
moral is obvious. Philadelphia Call.
BROMLEY. is it true that you lost
your hired girl ?'' Eyes. Mr., Dusen.
berry; she died" "Ah! what of ?''
Confederation. '.Of what?'' Cor.
roboration. She wanted to know
whether there was really any risk in
lighting the fire with kerosene. .
1t is said that Western girls have
stronger voices than those Of the East.
But when an Eastern woman calls
you John Henry" preparatory to tn 9
kindling OF the morning brands on the
family hearthstone. it is evident that she
has voice sufficiently strong to be dis
tinctly understood. = Yonker's States
man.
Here is story told by Miss Marti.
neau of servant girl who came to her
to be hired. The girl had brogue that
might be cut with an axe, but denied
that she was Irish. WELL" said the
novelist, II don't know whether Won
are an Irish woman or not. All l know
is, you were born in Ireland .Weu.
ma'am,' replied the girl, suppose /
was; If l was born in stable would I
be horser' She was engaged with.
out further parley. Cincinnati E,.
guirer.
"A few days ago a well-known So
ciety young man shocked one of his
lady friends by his ignorance of history.
1t was after dinner party at his house,
and she was telling him what she had
learned in her private history class.
One ching led to another, and all the
time he was getting into deeper water.
AT last she surprised him by inquirno:
Now. tell me. Mr.. -, what are the
knights of the Bath?'' He stammered
for while, and finally blurted out:
why, Saturday nights, / suppose. ~
Buffalo Courier.