Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-02-11
ABOUT BABIES.
Some Observations by an Unmar.
ried Man.


The baby, according to my observa-
tions, is in almost all climates, anb at
all seasons of the year, nocturnal In its
habits, Ii is also diurnal good share
of the time; but this, o. course, In o.
fact not worth mentioning.
Unlike the young of most other Spe-
cies, the baby does not recognize any
parental distinctions, but will lament
as bitterly while riding on the paternal
arm dt the witching hour OF midnight
as when clasped tenderly to the moth
er's bosom at sunny midday. Its sole
creed and language is cry and no
Christian or heather ever lived up TO "a
creed with more conscientious fidelity
than does the baby.
The baby is not partial to paregoric
that is failing of its parents. For it
self, the infant would much prefer la
mentation between meals to sleep.
But there is a limit to all things, and, /,
thank heayen paregoric is cheaper
than endurance.
Judging from my personal exper-
fence, large share of the bady's early
life is passed on the cars. Il do not
know that eyer entered a car without
finding baby ahead of me. / always
brace myself for the wall the minute I
open the door, and nine times out OF
ten it is here. The car may be full OF
passengers, but Cor all practical purpo-
ses it is occupied entirely by the infant.
Ii is my firm conviction that babies
do not like to travel. may be mistak-
en-, for | base my judgment entirely up
on appearances, but L have never yet
seen baby who seemed to be perfect
ly satisfied with the arrangements pro-
vided for the comfort of the trayeling
public by railroad corporations.
! Why under these circumstances, ba-
{, bies should be compelled to travel /
cannot comprehend. Perhaps l. is be-
cause their fond but unseltish parents
wish the world to share with them the
winsomeness and loveliness OF infancy.
l believe this is the explanation usually
given by conductors.
But there is one disagreeable feature
about babies-I will not say which one;
some people think lt In the nose, 9TH
ors TING nalr. However that may be,
you are expected to admire the little
just as much rs If they were really
beautiful.
The fond mother will never forgive
you if you don't say something real
sweet about her cherub. You must
disguise your real sentiments, and deal
in Yeneered platitudes OF the too-sweet-
for-anything and perfectly.angelic
stamp.
Don't liken the infant to its father,
especially IL that gentleman is slightly
bald and is just beginning to cultivate
a sunset tinge at the top Of his nose.
Say that the babe resembles it's mother,
and you are safe. liz you add that it
is remarkably charming and beauti-
full child, you are In fair way to re-
duce your board-bill by becoming fre.
quent guest at the house of the little
stranger.
The best way to get along with ba-
bles is to remember that you were one
once yourself.
Your nose was just as red and inde-
terminate as that your hair was just
as scanty and colorless.
You also bawled from morning till
night and from night till morning, and
visited the lotosland of slumber only by
the perfuhctory path OF parePoric.
You pulled the paternal hair and
pounded the paternal eyes with your
little lists.
You kept the whole house awake
with the ebulitions OF your empty woe !;
you sucked your thumbs and your toes
and your bottle like all the rest OF
them:
But you are grown up, and the pres
ent is not.
That is the difference. Puck.
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