New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1886-10-27
SOLDIER AND CAMEL.
Cogent Reasons Why the Two Cannos
Get Along Together.

Cue OOuuau W CElS country Dy caDle was
the statement that the British infantry
in retiring from Gubat upon Abu-Klea
preferred walking to camel-riding.
This information is not surprising.
Take genuine 'Tommy Atkins" who
has probably never been across any
thing but a highly-tamed donkey on
Hampstead Heath, and put him outside
the hump of healthy camel, and he
will undoubtedly echo the words of the
cablegram-he prefers walking to cam
el-riding. On the contrary, there is
much suffering for the unsophisticated.
The camel has by some poetical indi-
vidual been dubbed the 'sship of the
desert" In that particular case the
builder most decidedly builded better
than he knew. OF course riding upon
camel will not give anybody sea-sick-
ness, but it is only because of the alb
sence of the sea. All the other ele-
ments necessary to mal-de-mer are
present in camel-riding. The exercise
may be an exercitant physically, but it
scarcely produces the calm which is
supposed to sleep upon the pool of
Bethesda.
The process Of riding camel pro-
duces grievous and sundry vexations
even for expert equestrians. In the
first place, the animal must be COM
PEELED to lie down. He is provided
with peg in his nose, the peg is at
tached to string, and when the string
is pulled he is supposed to 20 down
upon his Bonded knees. He does not
60 down, however, without protest.
On the contrary, he snarls in sounds
that can be heard half mile off; if
there is anybody within biteable dis
lance he will bite; and if there is any,
thing objectionable to him within reach
of his gaunt, sprawly hind-legs he will
kick out with an earnestness worthy of
a better cause. The bite of Mr.. Camel
is nothing to be trifed with. His Jaws
have horizontal action, working from
side to side, and the lower maxillary
churns above the upper maxillary with
grit and a grind that would make any
person with delicate nerves SILVER with
the devotion of an aspen to it's peculiar
business of shivering, Not once nor
twice, but often has the camel lifted
off at one fell bite the Uranium of some
Arab or Hindoo who had reposed so
much confidence in his good intentions
as to stand beneath his nostrils and
smoke villanously strong tobacco.
As for the kick of the camel, it is
what might be described in certain
vernacular as a 'holy terror AS far
reaching as sheriff's warrant, it has
at the same time the force of Krupp
cannon. When an excited billiardist
whirls around cue with which to an
initiate the man who has just beaten
him, the cue resembles the camel's
kicking leg. It gyrates, it seems to
flash, and then it floors most absolutely.
In Arabia there is a legend that the
camel of the Prophet lifted one of it's
legs with such effect that wicked gen
tleman was summarily imbedded in a
rock exactly five miles away from the
spot where the camel performed his
saltatory feat. Whether or not the
camel knows his powers. his kicking
possibilities are greater than those of a
disgnuntled politician. His kick has
a far-reaching, corkscrewical effect
which is difficult to describe. With its
old-fashioned, sponge foot a camel can
knock even the check of a Ninth Ward
politician, for even triple brass cannot
avail against its intensity OF applica-
ton.
There is one thing pleasant about the
camel. That is the lustru of his eve.
Juno was called the :'ox-eyedn from
the rich resembl;nces of FER eyes to
those oil a placid COW, but richer in
sub>iued lustre than the eyes Of the OK
OF the gazele is the eye OF the camel.
Nevertheless, il is the kind OF wicked
optic described by Longiellow and
plainly hangs out the signal Of s'be-
ware!' Gazing into tile eve of camel
is like looking down into the depths of
q clear well-dark, glittering, profound,
and containing a light which gradually
fades away into inefable dark-brown
shadows. Nevertheless, the romance
is taken out Of the beautiful, mild eye
of the camel by the knowledge that
there skulks beneath it Il bite of terri
BILE proportions and behind it kick
that would seem to make dynamite a
superhuous luxury Of civilization.
As for the ':ship Of the desert being
all that fancy paints it, the experience
Of Tommy Atkins in the Soudan ex-
presses just about the truth Of the
matter. First rock forward, then a
jolt backward, and suddenly 8 catch
up in the middle, which makes the YER
tebra culver like blanc mango in the
hands Of q careless waiter, are just
about the general characteristics Of
camel-riding. Attached to all this
there are physical pains which, to use
the singularly expressive language OF
the cablegrams permitted to be dissem-
mated by Gen. Lord Wolseley, make
the British troops ''prefer walking to
camel-riding." An experienced mahout
upon the neck Of a Jungle elephant
in the ravines Of Kinchunjunga could
not possibly be a more deplorable
wreck Of humanity than an English in
fantry soldier perched with all his ac-
4 coutrements upon the back Of q Sou.
dan camel. To him an equinoctial
storm in the Mediterranean would, in
comparison, be a pleasurable expert,
ence; he would probably prefer an
earthquake, volcano, a thunderbolt
or anything else that would suddenly
mt hin, ont IF ttaytrema,s4 torment