The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-04-22
HyperbOlcal Young Man Writes from Washing
ton 10 His uncie.

DEAR UNCLE Tom: j was sorry to hear that
you had such loss by fire. What were the
firemen doing all the time the buildings were
burning? Tell them that can no longer re-
frain from sending them my congratulations
on their getting there in time to save the lot,
and the noble rescue they made in getting the
water out of the cisteTns near by. Tell them
that when | come home | will open key of
nails, cut pumpkin, and we will paint the
town red L see in the mornings paper that
the strikers and the citizens OF Fort Worth,
Tex, have had fight and several of each were
killed or wounded. | think the time is not far
distant when the strikers who persist in using
tcrcible means will have to resort to some other
plan; for they will find that will not be toler-
ated by the people.
Uncle Tom you said in your letter that YOU
hope am trying to profit by my opportunity
In reply, will say that am taking every adj
vantage of il, and trying to do all within nv
power to profit thereby. | have now arrived at
the age when know and realize the value of so
glorious an opportunity, and know that it is the
last OF this kind | shall ever have; therefore
L am doing all | can to reapa life-sustaining
benefit. | sometimes get q little discouraged,
and feel melancholy as sick rat. Sometimes
| can hear the June bugs of dependency buzz
Zing i'll my ears, and foel the cold lizards of
despair crawling down my back. Uncouth
fears like a thousand miunows nibble at nv
spirits, and my soul is pierced with doubts as
ali old cheese is bored with shippers. Then rs
a song-bird bankers for the festive worm.
the cautious mouse for the fresh cheese in the
cupboard, as a hound pup bankers after new
milk, so long to be at home. At times, when
l think Of home, my heart hops up and down
like a churn-dasher. Sensations of exquisite
JOY caper over it like young goats on a stable
roof, and thrill through it like Spanish needles
through pair of tOw-linen trowscrs. As Il
gosling swimmeth with delight in mudpuddle
so swim in a of glory. Visions of ecstatic
rapture, thicker than the hair on q dogs back
and brighter than the hUes of humming birds
pinions, visit me in my slumbers, and borne Oh
their invisible wings, the image OF each at
home stands before me, and | reach out to
grasp their hands as a sick kitten would grasp
hot pancake on frosty morning.
Oh! Uncle Tom, must tell you that have
been to see Miss Cleveland. Yes, went to the
White House with Auntie, and there | really
and truly held Miss Rose Elizabeths hand in
mine. When | first beheld her angelic pcrfec-
tions, was bewldcred, and my brain whrIcd
around like bumble-bee under glass tunl-
bier. My eyes stood open like cellar doors in
a country town, and | lifted up my ears to
catch the silvery accents of her voice. Ny
tongue refused to wag and in silent alteration
l drank in the charm of her presence as a
thirsty man swallowcth tumbler of hot punch
Since the light of her face fell upon my life, /
sometimes feel as if | could lift myself up by
my bOotstraps TO the top of the Washington
Monument, and sit there like q weathercock
on the top of barn