Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-03-22
ANOTHER MEMORIAL TO CONGRESS
An Underground Committee Trans.
NIT Their Views of the Utah
Situation.

An Underground Committee Trans
init Their Views of the Utah
Situation.
Memorial and resolutions of grievance
prepared by the special committee of thu
twenty-sick session of the Territorial
Legislature of Utah, and respectful,
submitted to His Excellency Grove
Cleveland
WHEREAS, Undah de unskrutabu1 des
tiny oh his stubbunness, Ezekiel III. Muir
raw. de membahs OBJ dis Legislature
hab bin sit down on, SO to speek, in oul
respective qualifications; and
WHEREAS, He has undun dose things
dat ought to be dun and hab strangled,
as it ware, de very intrinsic 'nactmunts
oh dis body elect; darefoah, be it
Resolved, That dis COMMITTEE for an on
behalf OBJ de brederin OBJ de uppermous
house do hereby one an each oh
dem promulgate de decklarashun
dat his Unclemency de GUNNER,
hav fragrantly succeeded all jury's-pru-
dence in his prolonged cussedness and
substitution, and in order dat desc SEEM
ing hyperbolical announcements do not
hab de jingle OBJ malls or forethot, we, de
bonnie fried supportahs OBJ our constitu-
shuns, do hereinafter sight de following
corroborashuns, to-wit: De Gunner hav
from de first shone his teeth on de in
trinsic questchun OBJ our relations wifi de
udder gender, an in order to sashiate his
noshun in dis respect dis
body assayed to pull frew a mezhur dat
would prevent male bulls from running
at large. De honurabul membah from
Summit labored wild de utmost ambishun
to regulate desc innovashuns, but all his
gloryus efforts cum to de same greet dat
de numerus udder mezhurs to
de same end; and darefoah not only
Rich county but de hole OBJ de COM
munitee suffah de inexorabul danger OBJ
bein oberrun wild bulls, and all on &C
count OBJ Eliza.
Again, dis same Guv'ner in de utter
baselessness OBJ his contenshus natshur
tempted to supplement sev'ral OBJ de
moast important ofisahs wild some OBJ
MS own gang, and to dis end sirrep-
ishusly pointed q Treasurer, Auditor
md Superintendent of Skools. De audas-
'ity Gums in dis wize by cumparisun. De
elijah dat his exigency puts up foah to
yobbul on to de Checker have nevah !
killed a singel snake-hab'ent chen hab |
makes in his boots-our man Ajax hav. |
)e hobgobblin OBJ a creetshur dat is |
pushed on to us faoh Auditor OBJ Public |
Counts hav got less dan wun drop of I
blood in his vains and hab not |
ranscended from doze dat helped to
rain de revelashun on plural marriage,
Tor duz he glory in Book Of Mormon
lame; our man duz O.
Lastly, but not leastly, we hab bin OPP
,urtuned to turn ober de 'fairs of eduka-
hun to man who karrys blood in his
We agenst de priestkraft of Melchisedick,
nd who hab foah score of yeahs kicked
genst de pricks wild a Sullivan-like foace
Dis man, if he be lowed to clandistinely
rab hole oh de skools OBJ dis community,
I'LL holely revolushunize kustums and
egulashuns until der won't be found any,
hare on Gle broad expanse tween de st
gorge Temple and British Columbia
ngle copy oh de Doctrun and Kuv'nants
r brudder 'Musser's Fruits OBJ Mormon
m" as text books. Besides dis is Nut
U. Dis man hab dun nuthin' towards
llding up de Kingdum kumpared wild de
resent cumbent, and dere appeals to be
lthln croppin' out in his conduck to in j
ekate dat he will take de underground.
10 approximate de premises, we may
say dat it is a warfare OBJ
aims agenst piety, an we darefoah pray J
1t de nashun will step in an Illustrate
ambiguous inclinations OBJ deze intel
ctual nabobs. I
We hab endured noah persecushuns
IN de Cinnamon. Our best men hab
n rested for conspiraces an briberys
even now de good an sanity Hamp- I
n lies 'carcerated on sinking meat
der de cruel an barbrus Surveillance OBJ
equity Burt, an de irrepoachable Jones,
nose virtues hab bin sung on ten
ouzan lungs, STAINS in daily jepurdy OBJ
in up foah three yeahs. Still noah r
ndlsh am de effurts OBJ deze Federal 7
Lectures to handicap de operashuns OBJ ,
immortal Treseder, hooze zemplary
bits are but de fruits OBJ a life's long m
reer under de tooishuns of our revered
'tltushuns. Deze are merely spot in ia
bucket ob de noomrus indignities dat -
foahced upon us, an now it am sot =
heap on de privashuns by pushin into =,
ice set OBJ scalawags who neber U
id a. dollah OBJ tithin in all
re, fragrant lives. How long.
how long, Brudder Grover, must -
sit quietly in de underground and wit d.
is dis. Hab not de stencil from deze
rmltles and Warden Dow's bill of fare .
ched yoah sensible nostrils, or shall if
necessary to hab de pole cat stirred !;
VIA augmented horrors, by lowing -
e avarlshus nominees to kick de bred.
out. We, de people, hooz unpeach-
attitude foah half century hab bin
stablish hevin on dis terestchul hem
re, shall We be foahced to benz do q
'e to Bail at dis late day. We appeal ~
you foah de third an lass time to
Itch foath de arm OBJ Justis; to mend
ole Constitushun so dat we wont he n,
ldlcaped wild deze litigashuns, an if -
prayer am lowed to beet on de hard.
q drums OBJ de ears OBJ de nashun. den
warn you dat we will STAN de non 6:
sc no longer, but we will pick up orr ~
rs an chattels and decapitate foah M
lchures new, and leave you an de OF
Try to de cyclones oh distruckshun
will follow. >''-''i
ear We, Hear We, Hear We, so be it. -
GEORGE QUAYLE CANYON.
hartman OBJ de Uundergroun' Com.
zee. u
Returned from Washington.