Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-01-23
Lafagan's Logic.
Chicago Ledger.


SMILES.
A smiling face is the trade mark or
a good conscience.
A smile is another relish from the
plum-pudding of our existence.
Mumps alone are a sufficient apol-
gy for not smiling. | know of no
other.
Give it an equal chance and the
smiling face in this world will beat
bob-tailed flush.
A smile is the advance agent of the
angels. That is the smile that cheers,
barring the Undergraduates smile.
TITS said that those who play the
accordion "never SMILE" The Lord
knows l cannot be hard upon the
players neighbors for a similar breach
of good humor.
There are women who do not smile,
but they were blighted in youthful
affections, and have since got mixed
up with the wrong end of the process
sion and become widowed.
A long face and Goldfish mouth
are not indications of piety, and /
don't believe that any person can
prove that they are-certainly not
with an affidavit properly signed by
the Creator.
Smiles are said to date from Eden
days, when. Adam smiled because
Eve stubbed her toe (figuratively
speaking), resulting in her dismissal
from the garden, but because Adam
had to go, too, is really where the
laugh comes in.
1t is said to be on record that GER
tain man who never smiled or spoke
a kind word to humanity couldn't be
inferred at the advertised time after
death because not sufficient number
of men could be secured for pall-bear-
ert until search warrant had been
secured. Although H. w. Beecher,
myself, and several other theologians
have labored assidiously to discover
the place of record of this assertion,
we are still as much in the dark con-
corning the matter as our brother,
Moses, was after his light went out.
Henry, however, says that although
we cannot prove the report to be true,
yet he believes it is, and certainly
hopes that it is.
LAUGHTER.
, A bad breath is the only clinching
= argument against laughter at short
| range.
t Laughter is the worlds safety valve
3 and human cordial in adversely OF
r for the itch.
l The jolly, laughing man don't have
> to flow so deep by three feet for hi,
{: success in this world.
S The meanest man ever knew wa!
, one who never laughed himself anC
: seemed to begrudge others the privil
S eye.
v Inever knew of child that didn'
t enjoy laughter but what l Learned
! afterward that it was born al tn,
s wrong time of the moon.
/ know of no other two remedies s,
effective in a case of bile as physi
and good, hearty laugh in all it
stage sittings and war paint.
No matter how low down a mar
E may get, if he hasn't parted with tn,
:, once honest, whole-souled laugh o
;, youth, there's hope for the man.
An inward chuckle is preferable t,
no laugh at all (for its possessor) blu
:, it's selfish cuss who won't help t,
:. brighten the world by outward mer
riment.
:, When see man who is appar
= emily too good to laugh at Harmless
- joke / know that he is too good t
= live; that he wants to die, and tina
he wants to die bad too.
:, The rumor which gained credenc
n through the great daily newspaper
~ of the world that Il never laugh
~ throws all other insinuations into tn
!: dense shade of obscurity, and a grea
=, many mean things have been sal
., y about me, too. l am always bull
u bling over with laughter, and espec
- ally so when others cannot see tn
= humor in my classical aphorisms an
~ / have to come forward, and take tn
). job off their hands, and laugh ft
them by long meter.