Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-05-16
A NARROWING TAUL(E).
Deacon Into an OK neutrality-suspicious..
al Grating.

| u
Deacon Into an OK Trade---Experiment
al Grating.
SPECIAL 10 the Sunday Register.
PARKERsBURG, W. Va, May l6.-Wir
county is noted for its sharp, shrewd bors'
and cattle traders; in fact to tackle it
citizens with trade OF any kind is dan
gerous. Those fellows up there lay abet
for hours and think and plan now not t.
get beaten in a hoss swap or horse race
but the latest trade of any significance
which has occurred at the Capitol o! good
old Writ not only caps the climax in iti
originality and denoument, but lays @
stress upon the ingenuity Of the anatomis1
and taxes the scientist in tender point
that OF grating the hide Of one animal up
on another. But TO 60 further into de-
tails:
A prominent Presby terian bolster, whom
for short We will call Squire James Hen
derson, had pair OF oxen which were ex.
cellert draft animals but could never carry
the palm for beauty. One OF the animals
had long, flowing caudal appendage,
commonly and vulgarly denominsted tail
while the other bovine was minus that
adornment, having been deprived Of it, it
is presumed, by some calous hearted farm
er in whose cornfeld he (,he OK was sccu.
mulsting surreptitious cuds for an evening
chew.
The Deacon had in his employ one Tom.
linson (also for short Tom was On
ingenious fellow and conceived
the original idea Of grating
fly demolisher on the stump OF the OK,
whose caudsl existence had been generally
abbreviated. He obtained from the tanner
a tail freshly culled from deiunct
COW and sewed it on the living animal
with good strong thread The two oxen
then looked go we'll and we're so well match
ed that Tom is said TO have actually sat in
the stable door and gszed with open mouth
ed astonishment at the complete success Of
his experiment Now this was all right,
but few days later farmer from the in.
terror saw the team walking along the
streets looking SO we'll matched and with
such perfectly beautiful tails that he con.
cluded to trade for or buy them. he
learned that they were owned by the good
deacon and called upon him and finally
got up trade by which the team changed
hands. The farmer drove bis team
home, and it is said called all
hands out to look upon and admire
his handsome pair. However they were
stabbed end ted, and worked for several
days all right, the farmer growing daily
more proud OF them One miserable day,
however, Mr.. Farmer aaw that something
was wrong with the of OK, and upon scan
ming him over closely concluded that he
was afflicted with "wolf in the tail" The
wolf (par parenthesis) is q large worm
which frequently gets under the skin Of
animals allowed to roam at freedom
through fields and woods A sharp knife
was secured and the tail was deity spit
for few inches While pulling 1t hard,
in order to cut just where he
wanted, the unfortunate appendsge
separated from the animal about six inches
from the point Of junction. The rest can
be easier imagined than described. The
farmer went to town and pitched into the
deacon with language adorned with new
and picturesque osths, in seven different
languages The deacon, who had known
nothing in the world Of Toms ingenious
grating experiment was astopisbed and
dumbiounded and Of course traded back
after the matter was explained. What The
deacon said TO TomlisoD, the cause Of oil
this trouble could never be learned
but il is presumed that he reprimanded
him for his thouRhtless facetious-
ness in thoroughly orthodox manner.
The deacon is said to have been 20 bad
" worried over the affair that he became
very absent. minded, and one evening at
church while the question ofSynodieal Sus.
tentstion was being discussed he seemed
suddenly to awake to the fact that some.
thing was going on around him; arose and
said in sad and grieved tone: Brethren,
I'm very sorry, but it shan't occur again.
I'll discharge that fellow Tcniibson.