The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-07-09
THE "WOGGLYBOB."
An Old Settler Tells His Grandson
About the Awful Beast.

A grandson of the old settler, lively
ten-year-old from Monroe County, is
visiting at his grandfather's. On one
of the recent warm days the old settler
had been busy for an hour or two watch
ing his wife getting spot ready in the
garden for early peas. and finally sat
down on the south side of the barn to
rest Little Peleg, tine grandson, who
had failed, after persistent efforts, to
drive the family cat in under a deadfall
he had rugged up out of the washtub be-
hind the woodshed. went over and sat
down beside his grandfather. ''Grand-
pop" said he, did you ever kill a ele-
phant?"
The old settler looked down over his
.spectaclcs at the boy.
mo l didn't"
"Well," said Peleg. you've killed
tigers, havn't you. grandpop?"
"Taggers," replied the old settler,
refilling his pipe and looking at Peleg
in mild amazement, ''taggers is curious
critters, an to kill 'em it takes Teller
that's got plenty O. ammunition, an a
gun with a bar'l THIS very stout an
very long. Taggers is Almost ez big ez
the side O. that hen house yonder. Peleg,
an SO red th't We kin see 'em a miled or
more, so ez faint no credit to teller
10 plug one on EN-.
Tigers hain't red, grandpop." said
Peleg. They're streaky, and they
hain't much bigger than pig. 1 seen
a tiger once in show"
Them shows Tits goin' bout the
country is bad things. Peieg." said the
old settler, with frown of disapproval.
They give We wrong idees. Boys that
goes to shows don't think nothin' o.
contradictin' their good oil gran'pops,
too. I've heerd. Mebbe that show yer
speakin' on had a wogglybob with it,
too, an mebbe that were streaky. Wat
kind of critter did they pass of on We
fur wogglybob. Peleg?
They didn't have none, grandpop,"
said Pcleg.
Ibid We ever see pictur' of wog-
glybob. Peleg? But l mowt know We
didn't 'thout astin' We, fur the last one
tn were in the country were extincted
long afore Photographic were ever
thort of. an tn wasn't no picturs ever
took o. one. That's onfortnit, too, fur
they'd be curious things to look at now
a-days. A full grow wogglybob stood
seven foot an an inch high. an unly
two feet o'that were legs. But he didn't
mind it q bit cause his legs was short,
fur he had two sets of 'em, one set fur
walkin' an one set fur swimmin,' bein'
eight in sal. His body were ez square CT
q shoe box, 'cept on the top an bottom,
that is, if ye could say that tn, were any
top or bottom to a wogglybob, fur wen
he were swimmin' the top of him was
the bottom, an wen he were walkin'
the bottom of him were the top. The
-swimmin' side run to sharp pint, like
the keel of 3 row-boat, an the walkin'
side of him was kinder roundup, like
the bottom of q sap trough. He was
covered all over with stiff hair that
stuck straight out like porkypine's
quilts, 'oept on the tip O. the keel side
an the round o the sap trough side,
which was both ez bare as Telegraph
pole. His four swimmin' legs was like
q snappin' torkle's, and W. en- he wer' on
his walkin' legs. the swimmin' ones laid
down fiat 'longside the keel His four
walkin' legs was like painters, and
Wen he were on his swimmin' side his
waikiki legs laid down fat 'longside the
sap trough. He could raise the four
legs he want usin'. though; an gin
erly did wen he were mad, 20 that
TO see q crazy Of wogglybob tear
i'm through the woods like .
painter. with four big snappin torkle's
claws riz in the air on his four upper
corners, were q sight to do yer heart
good. The wogglybob's head were
pint in nat'ral hist'ry th't none o. the
books hain't got nothin' about Itwere
sot on top Of long neck. an were
shaped just like big sledge hammer.
The neck were fastened on hinges where
It fined the shoulders, an the animal
could swing the head up an down an
give q whack with it that d ha' made
six-foot blacksmith's helper 20 of am
hang hisseG The only use th't the
wogglybob had fur hammerin' was to
fetch his head down agin q perjectin'
lump that stuck out foot or more ON
his chist. That lump. sonny, were the
butt eend o the wogglybob's tail. an
nobody never see the tip ecnd o. the tail
til the lump were whacked. The tail
were hid inside the wogglybob, an it
we're the weapon he used in briDgin'