The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-12-30
UNCLE RUFUS REVENGE.

"Dod durn dem pestiferous boys" NUT
tered old Rufus White, in the seclusion of
the woodhouse, where, over a fire in the
old cracked stove, he was cooking a dis
gushing looking concoction in q very dis
reputable black kettle.
"Doggon dem boys! amt had minnit's
peace o mind sence de pair on 'em done
come ter visit der uncle, de perfessah.
Hits 'ole Rufus here an hits ole niger
dar, till dey's putty nigh wored de berry
soul outen my body. An deys inter cherry
ting an up to all tings, an der uncle he
dess sets an moons an don't pay no ten
ton tail to EN-. Wy, dess dis yer morn
in" he added, wrathfully, wat did de
young scoun'rels 40 but kotch my ole
speckle dominicker rooster an pick him ez
bar eZ yer fist. Oh, is gwine ter git chen
wild EN-, fust ting dey knows, l is, sho's
yer baum"
He stirred the seething mess savagely,
and dropped in a decayed shoe.
Oats de gamew he chuckled. Shoe
waterll fix EN-. | reggin. Bully fer de
magic shoe water!"
The roaring fire soon reduced the old
shoes, of which there were several, to q
kind of fabby pulp. This the old man
presently fshed out of the kettle. The
contents Of the pot now consisted of dirty,
able taste-the magic shoe water.
"Sa-a-a-y, Uncle Rufus, are you in
there?" bawled a voice, accompanied by a
vigorous knocking on the door of the wood
house.
wat yer want, honey" replied the old
man.
Want to git in. You're mean old mig
ger to keep us out"
"Dat's all right honey. Couldn't let yer
in befo' kaze l was maxim sumfn
mighty fine," answered old Rufus, opening
the door.
The boys, a pair of young demons at
best, trooped in
"Hoo!" snorted one Of them, viewing the
shoe water scornfully. Call that mighty
fine? Why, it's nasty"
"Mebby hit is, honey, maybe hit is; but
dat ar's de wonderfullest stuff yer eber
seed. OATS de pow'ful shoe water wat
makes de pusson lucky wat drinks hit"
Huh! Makes 'em lucky? What is it
made OFF"
Honey, co'se yer know dat boss shoes is
allus, lucky. Wal, il yer takes an cooks
'em in punk water like rs done"
What punk water?"
"Wy, hits lucky water watts found in
heller blackberry stumps, an hitll dribe
away spooks an hant ebery time. Wal,
lucky, bofe on em is bound ter be powful
lucky-ef yer drink huff oh it, he added
in an und@one.
How do you make the horse shoes soft,
Uncle Rufus2"
ivy, de punk water is so strong dat
hit'll solve de shoes dess ez cay ez a
possum nd skin up tree"
"Hooeel" shouted the other demon.
Gimme some shoe water, Uncle Rufus. l
want TO be lucky"
"Me, tool" added his brother.
"No, chillen," said the old man, SOL
EMMY, as he set the kettle with its vile
contents away to cool. "Hit amt good fer
leetle boys; hits too fine fer 'em. 'Tain't
best fer childen ter be lucky, nohow."
He turned to leave the wood house, add
ing as he did so:
Don't yer touch dat ar shoe water vile
rs gone. Wouldn't have yer Git lucky fer
muffin in de world. Now, min wat l tells
yer"
As soon as he had disappeared the de-
mons set about filing themselves as full as
possible of the vile shoe water. The
abominable taste and outrageous odor Of
the filthy liquid made the victims gag and
reich, but in spite of all opposition they
succeeded in absorbing nearly quart each
of the villainoLs liquor. When Uncle Ru-
fus returned the kids were very white
about the NOUNS, and were busily engaged
in clasping the pits of their respective
stomachs with their hands.
"Ohol" cbuckled the old man, $50 you've
been drinkin' my nice shoe water. Didn't
you know hit was stealin'? Wal, now you We
got hit. / won't be mean; take some mo
shoe water, hit'll make yer lucky, sho.