Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-01-17

famous fiddle which the Roman monarch
used to play at fires.
II was now Mr.. Lincoln's innings,
and he retorted on Mr.. Duff Green very
much in the manner Of the injured and
virtuous young man who confronts the
vile catiff who stole his uncle's will and
kept the good young man out Of his in
heritance. The President called Mr..
Green "political tramp" misera-
BILE impostor," "vile intruder" a
political hyena,' and similar pet
names, until that gentleman was abso-
lutely stunned. Mr.. Green had never
before met his match at bullyragging,
and before Abraham Lincoln " was
half through with his batteries Duff
Green staggered from the cabin, got into
a boat. and was rowed ashore. " The
last saw of him." says Admiral Por-
ter, she was striding rapidly over the
fields, as if to reach the shelter Of the
woods"
For several days Mr.. Lincoln had
made City Point his headquarters, in
order that he might be near the front
and in easy communication with Gene
raj Grant while that commander was
making his final assault upon the re-
bellion. At this most anxious mo-
ment, when Grant was hurting the
Army Of the Potomac against the Army
of Northern Virginia, while Richmond
was still burning, and when Sheri-
dan was running foot-race with Lee
and straining the sinews of his army to
reach the forks of the road ahead of
him and cut off his retreat, the Presi-
dent, according to Admiral Porter's
yarn. was listless idler on
board ship.of-war. He did not
even know enough to go back to City
Point, where his presence was Of ma
tional Importance. The Admiral was
actually compelled to invite him to go.
He did so in the following delicate and
roundabout way
"This place seems to give you an
nOysnce, sir. Would you prefer to get
under way and go to City Point, where
we are more among friends than here ,"
"Yes," answered the President,
"let us go. | seem to be putting my
foot into it here all the time
Accordingly they got "under way"
and steamed down the river. 4" while
| had been up at Richmond" says
Admiral Porter, "the gunboat people
bad removed all the torpedoes from the
bed Of the river, and laid them on the
banks" In his first chapter he said
that the river had been cleared Of tor
pedoes before he went up to Richmond.
This, however, is but slight discre-
pancy the important statement is that
the torpedoes were taken up and laid
upon the river bank, where they looked
like &" fish baskiDg in the SUM-" 1t is
the well-known habit of lazy fish that
of pleasant morning they come out on
the river bank and lie there &" basking
in the sum-"
On the way down Mr.. Lincoln Occu-
pied the time by telling as an original
story Of his own that tiresOme old an
ecdote that julius CGser used to tell
about the blacksmith who had worth
less and deceitful piece of steel which
he tried to make an axe of, and failed; a
cleyis, and failed; cleyis-bolt, and
failed tenpenny nail, and failed but
which, when plunged red-hot into pail
Of water, succeeded in making a big
fzzle. The President made an lima
tured application Of the story to the
general of the Dutch-Gap canal, and by
that time the Malvern was at City
Point, where the President " expressed
q desire to 60 on shore"
They went on shore, and in doing so
the barge was compelled to pass a trans
port containing. according to the eau
tious estimate Of Admira! Porter, about
a thousand Confederate prisoners,
more or less" Eack Of them, says
the Admiral. had a hunk " Of meat
in his hand. They recognized the Pre-
sident, and of course they flung the
Old-Abe" chestnut at him as he
passed. That's Old Abe" said one
Give him three cheers" said another
" Hello, Abe :" said third. These
coarse attentions were highly relished
by the President, and in the exuberance
Of his gratitude he said
They will never shoulder a musket |
again in anger; and if Grant is wise he
will leave them their guns to shoot |
crows with. 1t would do no HARM"
This is palpable imitation, foolish |
parody. of Grants magnanimouS gift |
to Lee Of the surrendered horses Of his |
army, so that his men might have the
use Of them for ploughing in the spring. |
Weak as the parody is, it is also an
anachroDism, for when Mr.. Lincoln is
alleged to have uttered it Grant had not
made the generous offer, nor had Lee sur
rendered. It's impossible that Mr.. Lin.
coin could have expressed such a senti-
ment, because at that time, although |
Richmond had fallen, the Confederate
armies were all intact. He did not
know that Grant would oyertake Lee,
or that Johnston would surrender to
Sherman. And even if he had antici-
pated their success he would hardly
counsel or approve the stupendOus folly |
of accepting the surrender Of an army,
and at the same time leaving the prison
els their arms.
Admiral Porter is not the only
offender of high rank and consequence
who has caricatured Mr.. Lincoln for the
magazines. That these writers do not
mean to libel him is but slight extern
uation of their fault. They stamp with
their own personal authority as historic
fact, and fasten upon the dead Presi-
dent, a lot of exaggerated nonsense
that he never acted nor said. They
make him the author Of jests that were
the stock property of clowns be-
fore he was born. They make
him imbecile where they only intend to
make him amiable. They cast him in
false parts that he never played, and that
he knew not how to play. That their
pert gossip is paid for, makes it mer-