The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-10-15
ODD ITEMS.

Don't allow the flies to torment your
teams If you can help it,
The fall crop of marriages promises
better this year than last.
Millionaire Walters, of Baltimore,
has just paid S2500 for an orchid.
Mile. Aimee is an inveterate smoker
and rolls her own cigarettes.
There is one good thing about a
dumb-waiter 1t never expects fee.
Tam O'Shanter hats should always
be worn with suffer Johnny clothes.
1t is a long road, paved with hope,
between what you expect and what
you get
When granger wants his gals to
stop talking he makts a motion to a
churn.
A large tree growing near Santa
Maria de Tule, Mexico, is said to meas
ure $50 feet in diameter.
Mary Anderson al 2S is more fam
GUS woman than any American sctress
| of 40 who ever lived.
A correspondent wants to know if
the detached notes Of music ought not
TO be called coupons.
| Thousands of cords of wood are be-
ing burnt up by fires in the Santa Cruz
Mountains, California.
There is living in Andalusia, Ala,
child whose body is covered with HAIR
from one to four inches long.
In Charleston, S. c., the scene of
the recent earthquake, there live 32,-
$50 colored persons and 27,6O5 whites.
Out in Illinois they don't call cider
hard until it can be chopped up into
| blocks and carried i'm the flask pocket.
The Indians, if given their choice,
would prefer to raise hair in Arizona
than to raise oranges in Florida.
The question which is now tearing
British society to its foundations is,
Does the Princess of Wales enamel?
A man who will beat printer is
mean enough to tickle his nose with a
feather to save the expense of buying
snuff.
The little king of Spain can say
5000 goo! and smile, and his subjects
are grateful that they have so wise a
ruler.
Anarchist Parsons father was once
| IN Ala
He never put dynamite in his ginger
snaps.
| Polish ladies are said to be more
highly cultivated than the men. They
possess the brains, for the Poles are
sad sticks.
There are very few editors who do
not enjoy a quiet fling. 1t is the per
son flung who doesn't see where fun
comes in.
| 1t will only be few years now un-
til country editors will be giving away
sea serpents as premiums to subscrib
ers.
The Princess Louise has determined
to give up smoking cigarettes. She
| declares she cannot afford such expen-
sive luxuries.
Summer Boarder-I have heard that
silk tassels grow on your corn! Farm
cry es, miss, and regular gros- grain
silk it is, too.
Montana is the place for good marri-
/ 10 tn
dollars to 500 premium are really paid
there for good wife.
A recent report says that Nine. Ger
ster will never be able to sing in opera
again. Her long illness has seriously
impaired her voice.
1t is said that 'mule cannot bray
if brick be tied to his tail" Yes,
but what becomes of the man who
engineers the brick?
"How can you give me such a dirty
napkin as that?" "Beg pardon, sir
got folded the wrong way, sir There,
sir, how's that now?'
Mrs. Sunset Cox thinks that Samuel
is better at home than in Turkey.
The Turkeys are as solemn as the Con-
gressiOndI Globe.
| United States Minister Pendleton
has been doing Switzerland, but his
heart is heavy, and he is back again at
his post in Berlin.
| A young woman of Pottstown re-
Gently found cent of 1881 in the
lyolk of hens egg. 1t should be kept
for the next Cent hennial.
Some one wants to know: "Why
don't our young men come to the front?
Simply because it is harder to get out
between the acts.
| Stephen w. Dorsey is making NOR
ley in New Mexico, and will not 90
back to politics until some one throws
a Senatorship at his head.
| Subject for debate-Which has most
benefited the American people-Italian
opera or corned beef and cabbage?
The Minneapolis Tribune says that
"when Kate Field laughs she clasps
her hands back of her head and laughs
from her feet up"
Chris Magee is the king of the
Washington lobby at present. He
scored $4,000 out of one railroad
scheme alone last month, so they say.
THE greatest actors usually have
the weakest support" declares critic.
| We came TO the same conclusion when
we saw Henry Irving's legs.
at is discouraging to think" said
complaining shoemaker, 'that what
ever pains ! may take with my work it
is sure to be trampled under foot
Chinese diners are becoming fash
ionable in this country. We trust,
however, that the agile American
humorist will refrain from observing
'rats!'
II ia stated that mosouitoes will not