The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-09-18
LIGHT AND AIRY.

Likely.-Gentleman docking at fat)-I am
afraid my wife won't want TO come up as
high as this. It's the tenth story, isn't it,
Landlord-Yes; tenth story, including tho
basement. think your wife will like it up
here, sir. The family who occupied it last
summer told me that they preferred it To tho
White mountainS.-Harper's Bazaar.
Bill Nye is a kind, obliging man. Some
body wrote 10 him FOR his autograph, and re-
ceived i'll reply the following note from the
humoriSt: Dear sir, in the absence OF my
amanuensis, will you kindly excuse me If
write my autograph myself: Yours, Bill
Nye"
Iowa manipulating about dry weather,
why its an actual fact that III Iowa tho
watermelons haven't a drop i'll 'em-have To
be soaked before we can market 'em.
Nebraska man-Shouldnt be surprised
Wish you could have been with me ON a ride
took during the heated term.
Hot, chg
well, L didn't feel II 50 much, but il was a
pretty sight To see the corn popping in the
fields. "-Omaha World.
The reason that the tramps are 50 poverty
stricken and wretched is because they don't
advertise.-Puck.
Kentucky colonel-Waiter, something to
drink
Waiter-Ees sab; watah sahs
Kentucky colonel-Y Young man, [ said
something to drink; | don't want To take IA
bath.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The situation at FL Paso and Paso del
Nortc is unchanged. We have the better Of
the argument, and the Mexicans have Cut
ting. -ihiladelphia Record.
The ilIuStrious traveller looked contemptu-
ouSly ut the mountains. Nothing very steep
about here" he said, scornfully Make out
his bill, said the noble landlord, turning To
the gallant clerk. pronounced clark And
n great hush Of meaSurclcSS awe came into the
office and sat down on IA trunk listening to
the rcmorsecSs scratch of the busy pen That
was LAYING grade of about four feet to the
yard-Burdctte.
You are right, my son, too much sleep is in
furious Beware of too much sleep. But then
too much wakefulncSs is not good likewise
Eighteen hours sleep will hurt You less than
six hours wine supper. Some of the wakcSt-
times you have, my boy, are liable to bring
on serious injuries 10y causing You To indulge
i'll too much sleep-Bur,lette.
\ deacon of a Grcenville, Pa, church has
n string of buttons half yard hong, taken
out of the contribution box within few
years. What business has the deacon with
the buttons. They were contributed for the
heather, and several scores of heathcns have
been obliged to hitch their suSpenders with
shingle nail because of this embezzing dca-
con. Now the deacon is confcSsing, let him
tell what he did with the money, if there was
any. What good are these dcacons, anyway,
if a button must be stopped short of its mis-
sion!-Holyoke Transcript.
"Pshawl why didn't the fool hold that balIi
1t was easy one" That is what IA spectator
the grand stand said when the catcher
missed high foul coming right into his
hands. In few minutes more an easy one
came into the stand i'll the vicinity of the
same spectator, and he jumped over three
men and lost his hat trying To- get out of it,
way. That's the way with some folks. They
get wrathy when other folks fail Ia do what
they themselves couldn't do i'll fifteen years
practice.-Iiartford Post
"Would yez Civ me the price of n meal:'
asked a tramp of venerable and kindly dis
posed looking man. Cant You find any
work. qucried the venerable party, as he
took Off his glasses and wiped them prepare
tory to replacing them SO rs II look at the
mendicant "LOokaS here, mister contin-
ued the tramp, Il want a fair answer To me
question. I'm asking yez for money an NOT
work. VIII ycZ answer me question wild u
yes or wild moist. Paul Globe.