The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-09-28
CoNoUERING A BURGLAR.
Lively Midnight Adventure with . N.Y.
teriously Bold Individual.

teriously Bold individual.
When i first moved in the country ]
was afraid of burglars and slept with
revolver under my pillow. / used to
fire it on retiring thinking that would
scare them away.
But all this produced such vivid and
frightful Nightmares that l long ago
discarded the weapon as being more
dangerous to those in the household
than TO robbers.
Finally reasoned away my needles,
fears and got in the comfortable habit Of
going TO bed and sleeping as innocently
as babe, never locking the doors anC
windows, which wouldn't keep thieves
out anyway, and in warm weather
leaving them wide open.
began to imagine that rObbeI
couldn't find our house in the dark, fol-
it is scarcely visible in the daytime,
being off the road and hidden under
the edge of mile track of woodland.
For city people who get in a panic
at the name of burglars, it would be
Lonesome enough, and one look from ouI
piazza at night into the pitchy dark
ness of the woods would make them
shiver.
Although I had conquered myself
into such blissful security it was not SO
with my timid and unphilOsophical
wife. She is sure to destroy my most
delightful dreams with the. cheerful in.
telligence that there are robbers in the
house and with sharp nudges and fright
ened whispers keep me awake listening
to imaginary footsteps.
Then after eloquent bat vain at
tempts TO reason away her alarm j
would be compelled, for sleeps sake,
to start off on a spooky exploration be-
low, making of course just noise
enough to scare away any rObber who
might be around and never forgetting
to visit the pantry where I'd take re-
venge on her pies and preserves sc
carefully laid away for company which
never came.
The other night she aroused me as
usual, and not feeling particularly
hungry i determined to vary the mo-
nOtony little, so | only went TO the
top of the stairs and humorOusly called
down. wishing Mr.. Robber, if he was
there, good evening and with mock
politeness asking him to walk right up
and let me 90 TO sleep.
confess | was bit startled when a
gruff good evening" shot up in reply
from the darkness below accompanied
with shrek from my wife as she
bolted the bedroom door, leaving me
alone in the dark with nv rObber
friend.
quickly realized that l was COM
pletely at his mercy, and that some
kind of strategy was necessary TO save
our lives.
So with as bold voice as could as
sumo / repeated my invitation 10
"walk right up" feeling sure that it
never would be accepted. But TO my
terror it was, for l heard the fellow
grope his way to the stairs and begin to
mount them, excusing himself for the
unavoidable lateneSs of his visit.
A cold sweat poured from me and
my hair stood up and my knees SmOte
together. On the instant j made up
my mind what to do. Bracing myself
a the rOLber came nearer with what
little strength had left plunged my
bare foot against his stomach. which,
as had planned. doubled him up and
sent him rolling to the foot of the
stairs.
Then i rushed to the guest chamber
and dragging out the chairs, tables.
pillows. pitchers and whatever l could
find in the DARK, hurled them down on
top of the surprised and fallen burglar,
piling them up and blocking the stairs
so, for the present at least, felt safe
from attack.
Then ] shouted ''victOry" and yelled
for wife to open the door, which she
didn't 10 until smOthered voice under
the heap of furniture groaned for
Maria to save him.
Maria was my wife's name, and the
voice that we both now recognized was
from her brother who had lost his way
in trying To find our house, and think
ing the front door had been left open
for him had walked in. He and the
furniture were badly damaged, and he
felt so thankful that / wisely didn't
keep a pistol around that he helped
carry up some of the chairs. But the
best is that my wife don't hear any
more burglars footsteps, and now
sleeps as soundly as l do.-DetrOit Free
Press.