Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-26
BRIGHT BITS.

LET those who are without sin against Ire
land throw the first Gladstone.-Ne Orleans
| PfcdyWne.
1.-THE Boycott Does Not Work. is the head
OF an article IN an exchange. And this, by the
! way, is what is the matter with the boycott
ter. He neither WORKS nor wants anybody
else to work.--Vorristo'"R Herald.
A FEATURE at a meeting of the Salvation
Army the other night in Washington was an
address by converted dude. The army
prayed vociferously for all poor dudes yet
unconverted.-Nea0 York Tribune.
Hostess Ito Bobby, who is dining out with
his motherl-Wlll you have another piece Of
pie, Bobby?
BObby-Yes'm.
Hostess (sniiingly)-And so you are one Of
the fortunate little boys whose mamas let
them have he second p zee of pie2
Bpuby-Ges' ~; she does when we're out
vieitin'; but a. home never get but one piece.
-HdrDer's Btsar.
BASS is not only a very polite man, but he is
a man who yer loses his presen OF mind.
The other day he was standing in a morse car.
} 1t suddenly STRUCK coal cart and Bass was
sent to grass; in sh"rt, he was knocked down.
As he rose. he saw a lady standing. His
spirit OF gallantry was touched. Bowlng po-
| ltely, he said: Take my seat. madam >" 1t
| Is presumed that she preferred to stand
Boston Transcript.
A CONSCIENTIOUS HoUsEwIFE.-When old
| Mrs Van kare read that Christopher Vert
! : I
delphia, she secured up her big wash boiler
and TOOK it around TO the new official for his
| inspection. she SAID that she thought 1t was
safe enough, but she W shed TO comply with
tue law, aud an expert inspector might dis
| cover q weak snot in II that she couldn't see
-H0rristoaOR lie aid.
! SERVANT ito Mr. Clevel andl-The cook
wants to know. sir, what you will have for
Mr. Cleveland Miss Cleveland In?
Servant-she dimes out, sir.
Dir. Cleveland-O, yes. 1 had forgotten
| that.
Dinner-let me see. Rose dimes out and Dan
is at Old Point Comfort. Good enough
Wen have pigs feet, fried onions, and a bot
tie of extra dry.-yel0 York Tribune.
To LIBERTY's STATUE rc5H
Fair Maid,
That erst in sections lyest prone.
On Bedloe's Isle, by Staten's lovely shore,
Awake, loved Liberty my hour is near
When by the wand of great Bartholdl touched
Thy stately form, greater than ever graced
ChlcagO's boulevard. snail rise supreme,
Shedding its torchight on the beauteous bay
Where eXiled eyes tirst scan thy noble face.
| Yet rest awhile: It's cooler in thy bones
To calmly sit until autumnal days.-Neao
! York Journal.
TRAMP TO HoUsENAID: "Gimme little
bite to eat, please. ha MT ct nothing for four
/ days.n
Housemaid: Certainly, poor man. Come
| in and sit down. Here's a nice piece of roast
Tramp: You're mighty kind, mem, but 1
l,never eat meat in Holy Week. Can't YOU
! roll out "A cup of chocolate, a bit of brOiled
| shad and plate OF ice cream? Pm a starvin'
| wretch. but | can't go back on my religious
! principles under no considerations whatsom-
! ever, menu WASHINGTON Critic.
~ declare~ exclaimed a High street wo-
man, a. she glanced over the columns of the
| eve ing paper, there's an item about our
| having bought house snd going to move into
| it, / don't see why q newspaper wants to
publish items about our affiIrs"' Then in
/ side of half an hour, this woman cal ed out
elgerly TO her husband: y phn. I heard the
| Tipleys had rented the c. place on F.
street. Pm inst dying TO know II it's so.
| Does the paper say any hing about it?" When
| her husband found the desired piece of news
ehe felt relieved. and had a better opinion of
the papers,. Ak5li's Messenger.
YESTERDAY one of the Seventh Regiment
bows was up in she Treasury building and he
was shown the finest counterfeit die in the
word.
Yes" said the guide, pointing out the fine
| points, "the counterfeiter worked three wears
! in per Getting the plate aud Just AS he nat On
| ishel u he wa7 captured bv the auth1.ities."
Didn't he have a chance to use it at all?'
| inquired the New Yorker.
Not at all. His three years Of labor were
utterly wasted"
'well, well" sighed the sympathetic sol
! der, lit was a - shame, wasn't itl'
! 1t requ red a diagram to explain to him
wha! made the crowd laugh WASHINGTON
| Critic.