The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-07-23
Legal Witticisms.

such brilliant array successors
Assistant United States District At
torney Devenny during his studies,
has made it u rule to collect para
graphs of unusual interest bearing on
laws and lawyers, and from this col
lection he has consented to give to the
Union readers the following legal
"squlbs."
In the preface to tFortescue's Re
| PORTS" which consists OF thirty -one
| folio pages, it is said that "the grand
| divisions OF law is into divine law and
| the law of nature; so that the study
of law in general is the business OF
men and angels. Angels as we'll as
men may desire to look into both the
one and the other, but they will never
be able to fathom the depths OF
either"
at is very odd, said Serenant Chan.
nell to Thesiger, "that Tindall should
have decided against me on that point
| OF law, which seemed to me as plain
as 4, B, c." "Yes," replied Thesiger,
"but OF what use is it that it should
have been as plain us A, b. G to you
if the Judge was determined to be ID, 4,
| L to it?''
A physician once reproached learn
ed counsel with what Bentham would
have called the ''incoquoscibilty OF
the technical terms ofthe law. Now,
for example," said he, 81 never could
comprehend what you meant by dock
ing an entaii'" 'My dear doctor
replied the counsel, Il don't wonder
at that, but will soon explain. The
definition OF the phrase is the doing OF
that to which your profession never
consents-sutfering u recovery"
81 remember WELL" says Charles
Phillips IN "Curran and his cotempo-
raries," 'at the Sligo summer assizes
for 1912, being of counsel in the case
der OF Major Hillas in a duel, when
old Judge Fletcher thus capped his
summing up to the Jury: Gentle
men, it's my duty to lay down
the law to you. and | will. The
law says that the killing OF a man in
duel is murder; therefore in the dis
charge OF my duty tell You so. But
l tell you at the same time a falrer
duel than this never heard OF in the
whole course of my life!' lis scarcely
necessary to add that there was an
immediate acquitta!.'
Leather-lunged Scriven." the Irish
barrster, was very ugly man; his
complexion was like wash h-eather,
which had never been washed. Being
OF high tory politics, his practice in
the Irish law courts frequently brought
him in collision with Daniel o Connell.
O'Connell was once retained in ker-
ry case, in which the Venue or place of
trial was laid in Dublin. O'Connell
was instructed to try and change the
venue, so that the case might
be tried i'll Tralee. This motion
was resisted by Scriven, the counsel
opposed Hio'Connell. Hestated that
he had b. Sknowled-e OF Kerry. ard
had never been in that part OF Ire
land ooh, )" replied O'Connell, well
be glad to welcome my learned friend,
and show him the lovely lakes OF Kill
arney." Yes" erowled Scriven
al suppose, the bottom OF them
"lndeed, no. retorted Dan, "and
for this simple reason-your face
would ir!ghten the fish
Dean Swift, having preached an as
size sermon in Ireland was invited TO
dine with the judges, and, having by
his sermon considered the uses and
abuse OF the law, he then pressed
little hard upon those counselors who
plead causes which they know in their
consciences to be wrong. When din
ner was over and the wine began to
circulate, a young barrister retortea
upon the dean, and, after some fenc-
ing the counselor asked him: III the
devil were to die, mi Sht not n parsou
be found who for money wonld preach
his funeral sermo on?" Yes. sir. "ouick-
ly replied Swift II would gladly be
the man, and | would then give the
| devil his due, as have this day done
his children
In speaking OF learned sergeant
who gave a confused and elaborate ex.
pianatlon OF some point of law, Cur.
ran observed that whenever that
grave counselor endeavored to unfold
a principle OF law, he put him in mind
OF a fool whom he once saw try TO
open an oyster with rolling-pin
An attorney IN Dublin having died
IN great poverty ashilling gsupscyiptio
was set on foot to pay the expenses
OF hls funeral Most of the ATTORNEYS
and barrlsters having subscribed, one
OF them applied to Mr.. froler, after
ward Lord Chief Justice Sorbury. ey.
pressing the hope that he would also
subscribe his shilling. "Qnly "a shil.
Ing said Toler, "only shilling to
bury an attorney. Here is ~ guinea;
60 and bury one-and twenty of them''
When Lord Thurlow was lord chan.
cellcr Pepper Arden was master ofthe
rolls. The chancellor greatly disliked
Mr. Arden, and frequently showed his
dlstaste with little mitigation. When
u messenger once went with hishonor's
request and regrets that hn was too i'll
to sit at the rolls, the superior iuare
demanded In voice OF thunder.
"What ails him?" "please yonr
lordship, he is laid up with the Ens]ish
cnoiera' en- answered the messenger.
Let nm take an act OF parliament"
retorted the ungcacious chancellor.
with one OF those amiable twitches OF
ms visual organs in which he was in
the habit OF lndulGing. Let him trv
20 swallow that. There is nothing so
binding"
| At - provincial law society's dinner
not long ago the president called upon
senior attorney to give as a toast
,he person whom he considered tho
best friend OF the profession. Ger
talhly' was the response, 1.-The man
who makes his own will.i'
II hear" said somebody to JeckvI,.
that our TREND Smith, the attorney,
IS dead, and leaves very few effects
he could scarcely do otherwise. y re.
turned @ ;.,,ec'yll, she had SO very few
A counsel thought that he would
overcome Lord Norbury on the bench.
one day ms lordship vas charging !.
| lurN. and his allress 49,, IL. ..,......--