Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-06-20
Boston Globe.


l was 90 fortunate as to discover q new
comet for which you were kind enough to
offer q prize of 500 last year. As soon as
l read your offer l Immediately began to
scan the heavens. / presume there isn't
a square foot of the whole sky that l haven't
been over during that time, in search Of
comets. In January, on the early morn
ing of the second, / think, while going
home, after assisting in the ceremonies of
usheripg in the new year, | discovered q
comet of great magnitude, but on the fol-
loving evening when l attempted to put
my hand on it and classify it and draw on
you for the prize money, l found that it
had evsded me. l now agree with my wife
that it was an optical illusion Of the first
magnitude.
Lsst week, however, l succeeded in run.
ming down q large red comet which had
never been used before. 1t was situated
10 the constellation of ~Csssabisncs, about
due west of the Methodist church as you
look out Of my barn on q clear night.
Its appearance is that of a large nebu.
lous body With o central condemnation and
no tell. This is the only drawback to my
discovery. I sm sorry to come to you with
a ~tsilless comet. After the long nights Of
anxiety and worry, l dislike to come to
YOU, Doc, bringing a bob tailed comet, |
will, therefore, throw off $40, the amount
YOU offered. Send me postal note for 800,
Doc, aud the comet is yours. You will end
it where l have said if you are careful to
observe my directions.
Had this comet been a success with a
tail to it, / would have beeu glad to be-
stow nv name upon it, never having put
/ nv name on a comet but l would prefer
not to name q mutilatsd comet after my
self. A nan works too hard to win a death
less name to calmly see it pat on
A yEBULoUs AND sEITTIsH BoB.TAIL ONE
with no record. l have had wildcat min
ing claims named for me, aud my brief
but contiguous cognomen will be found
here ard there throughout the American
herdbook; but when l plaster 1t on q heav'
enly body l want it to be attached to a
good one.
am on the eve OF discovering another
comet, however, to which | will not be
ashamed to attach my name. have only
partially discovered it at this time, but as
Herschel would say, there is q hen on. |
got a brief view Of this comet last night,
but before l could secure it, name it and
draw on you for the 800, it was gone. As
the bank will be closed to night at the time
the discovery will no doubt be made, |
have taken the liberty to draw on you to-
dsy at sight. If / do not succeed in dis
covering the comet in time tor June deliy-
ery | will return the money to you.
Nv first comet was discovered in the
early evening. 1t is not a brilliant comet,
but rather inferior in its appearance lts
motions, also, are e~rrstic, and at times
aimless. 1t has an elongated orbit, with a
large hole in it. l hope that this will make
no difference, however, as it is no fault of
mine. / will agree that it shall not occur
again. =,
I hope some day to discover q comet with
a parabola to it. l have found q place
where on of these had been the day before
and dragged Its parabola across the milky
way. What prize do you offer for q comet
with a psrabola2 Also, what will you give
me for a small comet in good condition,
With perihelion to itH
Ifouni a light sorrel comet last year,
but had not completed the discovery and
filed on it before it disappeared for the
night. Learned the next day that it was
n comet with a large orbit, and that 1t
would not again return for 5000 years
The discovery was O bona 6de one, how
ever, and il you will advance the amount
of the prizs, it vii! be OF great %pecuniery
advantage TO me, and If it does not return
on time as l have said, | will refund the
money to you or your heirs with pleasure.
THIS COMET HAD A LONG HEAVY MAN
and tail, and seemed to be feeling first
rate Its tail was turned from me when
discovered il, but when | looked at it again
| | say that it was turned this way. When
I next looked al il was gone. Should any
other astronomer fud this comet aud ra-
port it to you, | wish you would tell him
that it belongs to me 1t is about the me-
dunn height, is a good roadster and wears
it's tail at an angle of about forty'fve de-
grees when in motion.
II would drive well with Lexelrs comet,
I think as they look very much alike, but
as Lexelps comet had o period Of four and
a half years and mine returns once iu 5000
wears il would be hard to get them her
Lexells comet has escaped now, however.
Il got eway in ITO, and if it has ever re-
turned it has changed so that no one re-
cognized it.
| would rather discover comets for a
livelihood than do anything else, If it did
not keep me away from my family so
much.
Do you prefer o comet with a duclus, or
can YOU use one with a pSrrbolic hypoths'
sis to better ~advantage2 Could you use q
uoeu on the presidential nuptialsH | often
write little poems Of this.character while
waiting behind Q tree for g coQet 70 come
down past me for a drink. also have q
double-barrel shotgun in good order and
the right to q small chestnut comet Of about
the tenth magnitude, both of which would
like to dispose of.
Ia answering this letter please pin the
check to the upper left. hand corner Of your
manuscript. Write plainly on one side
, only, With your Endorsement on the other.
cannot promise to return manuscript.
Please write as soon IS possible and tell me
whether yon wish me to continue my dis
covsr;es or no..
Should there be anything could do fol
YOU or for Science, let me know and viii
give YOU inside figures and cut rates or
, coasts, microbes. or anything else in my
line.
Please write your asEse and postothc'
address plaiuly and tell the cashier to sigr
I his name plainly at the bottom Of the check
me. necessarily f. p. b. 9. q. e. Q. CT
Yours, with 6 lslesSope in each eye ant
: a comet corkscrew in each haha.
o BILL NrE.
II The minister Rebuksd.
U C6ieGqo 6eeS.