Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-12-14
DRAMATIC COOKBOOK.
How to Prepare Tragedies, Society Dramai
ComedIex and Melodramag,

How to Prepare Tragedies, Society Dramas.
Comedies and Melodramas,
The following simple recipes, from
Dramatic Cookbook which Mr..
Redundancy has in mind to publish
one OF these days, will be found OF
especial value to'young housewives:
4 Tragedy. One red cloak, trimmed
with white catskin with black spots;
two crowns of red plush, brass gar
nishing; n few suits of old armor; half
u dozen pairs of tights; one dress, with
train; few doublets and three or four
short gowns and mob caps. Mix these
carefully in a battlemented vessel, and
add colored glass. swords, daggers and
battle axes to suit the taste. Pour into
several receptacles. namely, forest
OF three trees and one grassy mound
(the latter can be made OF half the
body OF Il bass-viol, cut lengthwise and
covered with green baizc); an interior
papercd in blue and gold, with two
mirrors, u table and four gilt chairs; q
dungeon, and section OF one side OF
a street. Sprinkle with blood (red
paint and let them simmer for half an
hour. Add poisoned tlagon, two
large daggers, one trumpet, a few
cheers Of the pOpulace and some blank
verse. Set away to cool. Then gar
nish with n strident gait, plumcs and
funnel-top boots, and bake in slow
oven. Serve red hot, with thunder
amd-lightning sauce.
Society Drama. Take six Worth
dresses; milk-and-N ater dialogue;
two pairs of lovers; u saucy servant
girl; an Irish footman. with q predilec-
ton for poteen; French adventurer,
who speaks broken English like u na-
tive of the Emerald Isle and shrugs his
shoulders percnnially; one mother,
very fat; one father, with gray whisk-
ers, bald head and very still in the
joints; a guardian angel, in the form Of
very grulf family physicians; one
police Officer; a tramp; u forged check;
an English lord, and a. graceless but
heroic young gentleman. Compound
these together in ilabby paste, pouf
into y gaudy drawing-rOom, and let
tho mixture remain until it is half
baked, Garnish with small-talk and
serve milk.warm,
4 Comedy. Take plentifully OF
chestnutty puns, Irish and Fronch
brogue, horse play, giggling girls.
doggcrel songs, shabby-gentcel men,
cracked voices, exaggerated dancing
and dresses abbreviated at either ex-
tremity, and mix them intimately in
any thing that comes to hand. Gar
nish with slang and profanity, and
serve raw.
A Melodrdmd. One villain, with black
mOustache; one irreproachable young
woman; three rejected suitors TO same
one noble young man Ga sailor or sol.
dier prcferred), redolent of lofty'senti.
ment; one doting father, good. uatured
and given to platitudes, otherwise q
simplcton; one mother, deceased, ono
locket with secret spring; one shabby
young man, who never speaks but in
didactic blank verse; one explosion
one Jewel of domestic, who knows
just what every body is going to do,
and is ever ready TO assist or prevent,
US the situation demands; one serving
man, In love with the jewel aforesaid
and like her In every respect, sex and
habiliments excepted; ono drunkard
one addle-headed village clergyman
and short-drcssed, thin-legged villag'
maidens and country pumpkins to sui
the taste. Place over fervent fire ant
boil continually for three hours. A bal
lad or two or a breakdown may be add
cd II the mixture needs thickening
Season with bathos and patriotic fus
tian and seryevcry hot, ,-Boston Trans
| cy,iDt.