National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1886-01-16
JoHNsoN's UMBRELLA.
tChicaso News

u
nearest desert island. She was an artless
girl, and very fond Of soclcty-especially
the society Of young men with whom was
not on terms Of ardent friendship. / did
not blame her for this, and when she In
yited me to tea and found that johnson
had also been invited, my discerning eye
observed that this was not coquetry but
pure exuberance Of spirits. Mr.. Bowles, l
noticed, was Of the same opinion, and IL
was n great satisfaction TO me to have my
judgment confirmed by so experienced a
parent. Mrs. Bowles, had she been alive,
would no doubt have agreed with us.
had known Mary Jane since she wore
short frocks. johnson had known her
about a month. II was pleasant to hear
her call me Sam and him Mr.. johnson, but
somehow the familiarity in my case seemed
to have bred, not contempt-oh, dear, no
nothing Of that kind-but sort Of nom
chalance Of manner. But that was her art
| lessness.
"Dear me, Sam,n she observed at the tea
table, "what have you got such long face
forW Johnson's attentions had made me
little pensive.
"something must be long TO make up for
the prevailing shortness,n said.
johnson was not much taller than Mary
afterward. My impromptus are too often
lost
Don't be impertinent, SIR. Look into
that spoon. Your face is exactly like the
reflection you see there, isn't 1t Mr.. John.
son2"
He grlnned. It was then observed for
the first time the singular breadth Of his
visagc. His grin seemed TO extend across
the room.
"If Mr.. johnson will hold the spoon horl-
zontally he may admire his own image,n
remarked, playfully.
johnson grfnncd again. He was one of
those insanely good-humorcd men whom it
| is quite impossible to annoy.
"Sam, you are outrageous" said Mary
| Jane "Mr. johnson and | are going to
| practice our duet, You stop here and talk
topaz
When left the house that evening was
| thoughtful. II struck me that johnson had
Mary Jane in his minds eye. / could not
damage that organ of vision, so / decided
that nothing could be gained by hitting
him. But something would have to be done.
/ wanted to marry Mary Jane. She was
charming girl, and her father had o little
| money.
Ny suspicious about johnson were con-
frmed next day. met lively frtend,who
said
ooh, you know JohnsonS"
"Weli.n
"iie's going In for the little Bowles.
| Told me he should propose tomorrow
night when he takes her home from Twig's
"Perdition
"Eh slap-up girl, isn't shep Thought
| you were sweet that way"
"Per-al oh, no; not at all There's
Going to propose when he took her home
from Twig's By all the powers he should
not take her home from Twig's
II had been agreed that should escort
Mary Jane TO the hall Of Twig. II was
fine night, apparently, but took my UNI
brella. 1t was new one, surmounted by
an alligator's head in German silver. Fer
vently ] invoked Jupiter Pluvius to be-
friend me, and hoped johnson would leave
his umbrella at home.
II was less than ten minutes walk, but
| there was time enough to show little pre-
liminary tenderness, II not to put the grand
question itself. With an artless girl like
Mary Jane it was best to approach such a
subject by degrees.
WTwas just such a night as this i said,
softly, "when you and I, Mary Jane, trod
the grassy turf beside that murmuring
brook
ooh, | remember |" she exclaimed, laugh
ing in her guileless way. ~ know what
you are going to say. That was the time
you fell over the stile running away from
the bull. And your nose was done up in
|
scratched my face with it, sirp'
] had forgotten that circumstance, but
what did 1t matterP
"Yes, Mary Jane" said, passionately
Sand why did my nose scratch your face
Because my lips were seeking that paradise
which now
"Good evening, Miss Bowles.n 1t was
johnson. saw him grin in the moonlight,
and-confusion he had brought his um-
brella.
There was little dancing a Twig's, but
had no pleasure in it. My m nd was full
of Johnson's umbrella. 1t CAME before my
diseased vision like Macbeth's dagger.
clutched at 1t and had 1t not.
Time worn on. i stood at the window
alone and looked out at the weather. Heavy
clouds obscured the moon. Heavy drops
began to tall. Then the temptation had me
in its grip.
"His umbrella" gasped. "rI-I'n hide
it.n
"It's going to be nasty night, after all, )
only you and l have brought umbrellas
There'll be an awful scrimmage for cabs
Luckily we haven't far to walk"
He was grinning more than ever, but ht
could not have heard me. A cab would no
suit him, of course! He wanted to wall
home with Mary Jane, slowly-very slowly
so that-frenZyl would do the deed.
|
"Oh, Sam, do take me down to refresh
ments. asked Mr. johnson, but he hai
forgotten me-"
She looked up into my face SO bewltch
ingly that my heart thumped as II 1t were {
doorknocker In the hands Of demon post
man. He knew she was thirsting for claret
cup, and yet he left her. Careless brute
What husband he would make Wherea
in me-in me--she would find
"Mary Jane" whispered as we left tn
giddy crowd that stood around the liquids
Mary Jane, may see you home?"
''lf you are good boy perhaps you may
But here's Mr.. johnson, and owe him
dance.n
He took heraway, but she looked back a
me with smile. / really never saw sucl
an artless girl in my life.
: And now. TO make assurance 'doubly sure
| crept up stairs to the room where the um
brellas had been left. The gas was out ant
the window open. The melancholy voice
of divers cats seemed to protest against th
crime, but my nerves were firm. could Sc
nothing. No natter knew where m
enemy had put his umbrella. groped 70
1t. Igrasped 1t by the ferruled end. Jus
then a footstep startled me. ! rushed t
the window and dropped the hateful thing
into the black abyss below. There was
splash. i felt a sardonic JOY. He hat
brought his umbrella for fear of rain
Well, 1t might do its duty in the water
butt
, / went down to the refreshment room
drank glass Of wine, chatted while wit
Mrs. Twig, and recovered my self-posses
sion. Then | sought Mary Jane.
Everybody was now going away With
! fiendlsh delight saw johnson walking uE
stairs to get his hat and coat and his
, Hal hal I waited till he came down, II
was perfectly cool, and-did my eyes moe
) meH-he had In his hand an umbrellal
could not see the handle, but Of course
= was mine. The fellows impudence stag
: gered me. tore into the room above
There was no umbrella there. II wa
5 minel
t Iwent down, resolved to make an ca
| amnle NJ ,Johnann He stond I'm the ha Il