The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-09-01
PITY THE HUSBANDS.
The Interesting Way in Which Some Mar
ried Women Go to Sleep.

ried Women Go to Sleep.
There is an article going the rounds
entitled "How the Girls Go to Sleep"
The manner in which they 60 to sleep,
according to the article, can't hold
candle to the way married woman
goes to sleep.
Instead of thinking what she should
have attended to before going to bed.
she thinks of it afterward While she
is revolving these things in her mind,
and while snugly tucked up in bed,
the old man is scratching his head in
front of the fire and wondering how he
will pay the next months rent Sud-
denly she exclaims:
flames, did you lock the door?''
(Which doorp" says James.
"The cellar door," says she.
NO." says James.
"Well, you had better 60 down and
lock it, for | heard some one in the
back yard last night
Accordingly James paddles down
the stairs and locks the door. About
the time James returns and is going to
bed she remarks:
"Did you shut the stair-doorP"
NO." says James.
"Well, if it is not shut the ca: will
get up into the chamber"
"Let her come up, then, says James.
ill-naturedly.
my goodness, not" returns his wife,
"she'd suck the baby's breath"
Then James paddles downstairs
again and steps on tack, and closes
the stair-door, and curses the cat, and
returns to. the bedroom. Just as he
begins to climb into his couch his wife
observes:
II forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring up some IN the big
tin"
And so James, with muttered curse,
goes Gown into the dark kitchen and
falls over chair and rasps all the tin
ware off the wall in search of the "big"
tin, and then jerks the stair-door open
and bowls: ''Where the deuce are the
matchesp"
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather 90 and get the
water herself than have the whole
neighborhood raised about it. After
which James finds the matches. pro-
cures the water, and comes upstairs
and plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says: "James,
let's have an understanding about mon
ey matters. Now, next week I've got
to pay -"
Il don't know what you'll have tc
pay and don't care" shouts James, as
he lurches around and jams his face
against the wall, "all l want Is
Sleep"
That's all very we'll, for you," snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vicious.
ly; "you never think of the worry and
trouble l have. And there is Aramin'
ia, who, l believe, is taking the
measles"
'Let her take EN-" says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly
but about the time James is falling in
to a gentle doze she punches him in the
ribs with her elbow, and says:
ibid you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jonesp"
"Where?" says James, sleepily.
why, Mrs. Jones'"
'Where?" inquiries James
II declare" said his wife," you ar,
getting more stupid every day. Yo.
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. 81
Well, day before yesterday Susal
Smith told Mrs. Thompson that Sam
Barker had said that Mrs. Jone
had -"
Here she paused and listened. Jane
is snoring in profound slumber. Will
snort Of rage she pulls all the cover
off him, wraps up in them, and lie
awake until two a. m. thinking how
badly used she is.
And that is the way some married
women 90 to sleep.-Chicago Tribune