News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-04-15
-PiHsbttrq Chronic
A FRIEND OF HIS BoYHooD.


husband, 81 don't think 1 know your
friend Mr. Pott, do Il'
"Pott2" asked Mr.. Snaggs, in sur
prise.
eyes, Mr.. John Pott"
"John Pott9 don't know anybody
of that name"
"Oh, you surely must know him very
we'll, fol you talked about him in your
sleep last night, and called him Jack as
though you had known him all your
life."
"Jack Pott! All, 1 must have been
dreaming of schoolmate OF my boy
hood days. 1 had almost forgotten
him."
And Snaggs went down town cogi-
tating on what narrow escape he had.
-Pttsburg Telegraph.
SAD SCENE IN COURT.
Uncle Rastus (to magistrate)-Yo'
mustn't be too had on er poo ole man,
sab. Is orphan.
Magistrate old are you, Uncle
Rastus2
Uncle Rastus-'Bout sebbenty, sab.
Magistrate-It' hard lines to be an
orphan at your age.
Uncle Rastus-'Deed it's, sab. My
poo ole mudder died two months befo'
was BON.
Magistrate-Don't you mean your
father2
Uncle Rastus-P'raps I does, yo'
Honah. l specs rs not in my right
min or l wouldn't tempt ter steal
chickens from man what keeps a yal-
ler dawg.-N Y. Times.
A STORY.
At theatrical entertainment few
weeks ago young lady with three
story hat sat Immediately in front of a
newspaper man. Noticing that her ex-
aggerated head gear obstructed the
Journalists view of the stage, where a
| temperance lecture, or scriptural pan
Drama, or something was taking place,
the young lady, with sweet smile, re-
moved her hat and placed it in her lap.
The newspaper man was profuse in his
expressions of thanks. The next day
he caught a severe cold, contracted
the pneumonia, and died a week later.
When his will was read it was discov-
cred that he had added a codicil, giving
the young lady who sat in front of him
in the theatre 50, ,047, 469. There is a
moral in this.-Norri toaon Herald.
INNOCENCE IMPOSED UPON.
A traveller in Western Iowa, noticing
on the wall of the parlor of the hotel
the legend, "Ici Pom parle francais, u
said to the proprietor:
''Do you speak French9"
"French? No. United States is
good 'nough for me-"
Then why do you keep that legend
on the wall2 That means French is
spoken here.
''Is that so?"
"Certainly."
"Well, Pm half breed from up the
nose didn't sell me that for a Latin
motto: God bless our home.'"
THE SUFFERING PosT-TRADER.
One of the post-traders at Western
fort was buying supplies in Denver the
other day, and was asked by the firm
how his last consignment of canned
tomatoes sold.
"Lost money on EN-" was the reply
''How could you2 We billed then
to you at 10 cents per can"
dyes, and my stupid clerk retailed
them at 50 each, when my regular
figure has always been So. If you car
bill me a new lot at about cents, and
l can work 'em off for So so, perhaps
can make myself whole. y Val Stree
Ne,cS.
SIGNS OF MENTAL DERANGEMENT.
Mrs. Flunket-I am getting uneas!
about my husbands intellect-or hi
memory, perhaps l should say.
Mrs. Dorsey-In what way2
81 asked him for $50 and he gave /
to me without word"
"Why, that was strange! But wha
led YOU to feel concerned about his mem
ory9"
'Why, the fact that he didn't ask m
what l had done with the so cent
which he gave me last week. ."-Phild
delphiG Call.
AT THE MINsTRELs.
Tambo-WelI, Mr.. Bones, can yo
tell me the difference between dealt
and a young lady engaged to a mining
broker?
BOneS-NO, san, WndC AIN uS ulleI
ence tween lady what's engaged to
mining broker and def
Tambo-Because death loves shinln
mark, and the young lady loves min
ing shark.
Int. .locptor-The beautiful ballad
"Pa Has Gone to Canada. - Chicag
Rambler.
THE BILL.
A professor" is billed to appear i
!: Limerick-square, Montgomery County
The posters announce that 'there WI
: Bee slight of hand tricks, and there WI
bee imetatings things, and there WI
Bee Exebiet by a boy II years old, an
when the show is over, and there WI
Bee Prise box and it Will be Exhlr
{ by Children II and 12 years OF age, an
l i charge only cts. to see lt."-Ae'eA
g tOlon PENN Register.
! RECALLING A QUOTATION.
Young Featherly-Do you recall tina
quotation, Miss Waldo, beginning: IN
Y pent-up-no Pent-up -pent-up lthac
. q contracts S. :,
: Miss Waldo-"No pent-up Utica,
; think, Mr.. Featherly.
Young Featherly-Ah, yes, Uticti