The Daily clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1888, 1886-01-29
Some Epitaph-.

Though to select n subject Of greater
solemnlly than that Of death would be
impossible, the student OF the literature
Of the church-yard can not fail TO bo
struck wiki the important part played
therein by humor- often OF the broad
est description. 10 do the writer's
justice, says a Detroit Journal, It is in
many eases of the unconscious Kind.
There was no intentional disrCspect 20
the memory Of
John Ross
Kicked hl u huss.
And It may have bcen in deep deieo-
ton that the friends Of the unfortunate
youth killed during pyroteohnic dis
play, wrote upon his tombstone:
Hero To.
Killed by q sky
Rocket IN my eye.
While is Caledouian origin borne in
mind Qt halls from Edinburg. thorc
was probably no promeditated leyity to
the lines in memory of
John Macpherson that wonderful person
Six foot two without his shoe
And slew at Waterloo.
Tho humor Of the following Is moro
ly due 10 peculiar punctuation:
Erected 20 The memory Of John PhilHps
Accidentally shot as mark OF affection by
his brother
II is difficult to say whether in jest or
mouiton tho following was inscribed
to the memory OF an earl Of Kildare;
who killed. Klldarc9-who dared Kildare to
kip
Death killed Kildare. who dare XII whom be
will.
Sepulchral references 10 tho former
pursuits OF the departed have been very
common. Lawyers whose familiarity
with "ways that are dark" have called
for censure; aud doctors whose profess
sional ministrations "havo filled the
half Of this churchyard' have formed
the principal subjects Exception is
made in favor OF legal ornament, oao
Mr.. Strange, but at the expense OF his
brother practitioners
Here lies an honest lawyer sIrangoi
The proposed epitaph to the eminent
cook, Alexis Soyer:
Peace 10 hIs ashes.
Is we'll known. Less known but more
admirable is that upon deceased
dyer
Horc llcs n man who dyed Of wool n Rrea,
store,
Ono day he died hlmsolf-and dyed no more.
The conjugal relation. sad to say, has
suffered sharply at the hands Of tho ep-
itaph writcr-and, sadder still to re-
cord, the weaker vessel has called for
the severest animadverson. Epitaphs
OF this class have usually been coarse
and vulgar In the strain OF the follow
ing;
Here lies my poor wifo--a sud elattern and
| shrow;
II said regretted her--l should lie too.
1t Isl gallant Freuchman who, al
Porc la Chaise, thus apostrophiaos the
defunct partner Of his joys and caresi
CLget. ma femme, Oh quelo est bleui
Pour son rcpos, ct pour 10 micn.
which, however. has its counterpart in
an English churchyard:
Here lies my poor wife Janc-her let her loi
sno finde rest at husband 70 do |.
The unmarried fair have received
genter treatment, though a talkative
spiustcr Is awarded these lines:
Under this stone the body lies Of Arabolla
Young,
Who on tho twenty-fourh Of May began to
hold her tongue.
Independent OF its interest as a rec
ord OF longevity, there is sporting
flavor about the following reference 10
one Stephen Rumbood, Of Brightwell,
quite unique:
He lived TO los, hearty aud strong,
100 to you dont 1--we ne long.
A request for burial in particular
spot is not uncommon, though seldom
expressed with the naivete OF the fol-
lowing:
Under this yow tree, buried he would be,
because bis athcr he, planted this yew trco
-Guilttleld, 1893.
The three following, dedicated to the
memory of departed matrons, al o worth
rescuing from oblivion:
Some have children, some have none;
Here lies the mother Of twenty-one.
-woOlstanton.
A severe blow is dealt to the sanitary
reputation Of the medicinal springs Cf
Cheltenham in the lines below:
Here lie. and my three daughters.
| All killed through drinking Cbeltenham wa
tors.
Had We hut stuck TO EPSON salts
/ We shouldn't be lying IN these cold vaults.
In fitting conclusion may be quoted
the following rebuke administered to
the morbid curiosity to satisfy which
has been one of the missions Of the epi-
taph. In slightly varied forms 1t has
/ been met with in divers corners OF En-
1 gland. but was last heard OF in o
churchyard in New Jersey;
Reader, pass on. nor waste your precious tina
On bad biography or better rhyme.
For what am this crumbiing clay assures,