Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-24
THE FATAL FOLDING BED.
How it Ruined the Reputation of
Man and Drove Him to Drink.
Fton "a CAicano Ne,ns.


An expression OF profound gloom on the
face of a friend led to inquiries which
elected tale OF sorrow and suffering.
''Do look mournful ~ he asked. "Do
bear the appearance OF a man whose soul
has been entered 10y the iron of adversityp
Well, that's the way l feel.
"lou know moved day before yester-
day. Well, hurt by the unfeeling remarks
OF my late landlady, and tie fact that she
retained my trunk Gas gage d'amour, |
suppose | sought the seciusi0n OF a west
size boarding house. The room is
pleasant, and the man who occupies
the other half very nice fellow.
Night before last l went home
early, aud when ready my new chum
boldly approached an inn0cent-loOking
piece of furniture, and, alter little spar
ring for time, let In with rlght and left,
and brought TO view comfortable bed. /
had never seen a folding bed before and
was little astonished. However. | made
no remarks but turned in. Last Night my
chum was out and didn't know what to
do. | lOafed around the room, now and
then casting glance at the folded bed.
admiring its compactness and air of gen
tiitv, but somehow | did not feel like
tackling it all by myself But it had to
be done. | remembered that my chum
had first lifted up the top. | did that.
But when let go 1t came back with a slam
that started the baby owned by the sec
ond floor front iEto wild gym
phOny of woe. Then l sat down and
thought. 10 gain time on the bed | un-
dressed. Say, did 1t strike you as chilly
last night? No? Well, it was. Indeed,
it was cold. The combination OF that
fact aud my abbreviated costume urged
me to renew the attack. This time
pushed the top past the centre OF the
spring, and when releas sed it went on with
noise loud enough TO arouse the pug in
the room across the hall. BY that time l
was reckless. | seized a strap and pulled.
The whole thing began to come. Istrapped
it half way ana considered. Considering
was hard work. So was holding. |
pulled. 1t came and went. But uidn't
20 far enough, and the bed caught me. /
was underneath. Tae Charleston man
on the floor below dreamed he was at
home.
"Well, when got out and took an in
ventory L was minus considerable skin.
but the accession of eyebrow bal
anced things. The bed was open, but the
middle was way below the average. But
l was TOO impatient to be particular.
With considerable emphasis 1 turned out
the gas and rolled in. AS soon as | hit
the bed 1t shut up--that is, as close as it
ten minutes | would bave swapped places
with any one OF the seven Anarchists and
gwen him odds. When got out OF that
place there was not enough left of The
bed-clothes to make a respectable band
age. l know, because | tried it, What ]
suffered you will never know.
"rbis morning my landladv informed
me that had she known l was subject to
delrium tremens she would have refused
the admittance that gave me q chance to
ruin the reputation of her boarding house.
AS | left the house the boarders poked
their heads out and whispered: ''lhats
him; be had 'em bad last nightr and SINH
lar encouraging remarks. No, | won't 80
back. 1t wouldn't be any use. Further
more, Pm gong to change my politics.
Two years ago l had lots OF money and
was prosperous. became Prohibition
list, and have had hard luck ever since
Hence orth l am for whisky, and plenty
| of it. Good-by,''