davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29
ARTEMUS WARD ON EDITORS.

Artemus Ward, speaking of editors,
says: "Before you go for an editor,
young man, pause and take big
thinkl Look around, and see If their
Is uot an omnibus or some meat cart
to drive, some soil somewhere to be
titled or clerkship to be filled-any.
thing that is reputable or healthy,
rather than going for an editor, which
is poor business at best. We are not
horse, and consequently have not
been called upon TO furnish the motive
power for threshing machine, but we
fancy that the life of an editor who is
forced to write, whether he feels like
1t or not, is much like the steed In
question. If the yeas and neighs could
be obtained, we believe that the intel
ligent horse would decide that the
threshlng machine Is preferable to the
sanctum editorial. The editors work
is never done. He is drained inces-
sanity, and no wonder that he dries
up prematurely. Other people car
attend banquets, weddings, etc, visit
halls of dazzling light, and enjoy
themselves in a variety of ways, but
the editor cannot. He must tena-
ciously stick to the quill. The press,
like sick baby, must not be left to
run by itself even for day, or some-
body Indignantly orders the carrier
boy to stop bringing that paper.
"There is nothing In IT; I won't have
1T in the HOUSE,"
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

Our neighboring town Alexandria,
has Just been 'sat down upon" as the
phrase goes, by the police jury Of
Rapides parish in which that town is
situated. The town applied for an
exemption from parish taxation, but,
the Police Jury refused, on the follow
ing grounds, to accede to the demand !:
1. It is in violation OF the plain pro-
visions Of the Constitution regulating
the subject of taxation, and has been
SO declared by the judiciary committee
|of the Senate of 1882.
2. 1t is manifsstIy inequitable to
exempt the town from the payment of
these taxes. It would be a manifest
injustice to the taxpayers of the re-
mainder of the parish.
A copy of this resolution will be
transmitted to the members of the
Legislature from that district and they
will be requested to use their best
efforts to prevent the enactment OF the
law referred TO-, Monroe, while she
can't help Alexandria, can at least
'sympathise with her, though, thank
God, she is independent of parochial
authority and Is authorized to make as
we'll as enforce her own laws.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

Some Of the older n1arriageable gen.
tlemen Of Rnetonu have began to take
- active inte1est IL matrimonial mat.
ters think soe4e Of the boys, and there
= 9 prospect q an, active and PROCESS
siye matrimonial campaign in the fu-
ture. The young men have an eye on
these gentlemen, and will head them
OF whenever q break is made. 1t is
right funny to see the old fellows en-
gagged 10 their private caucuses. Rus
s0p Chti0rQph as.. asi-sssssa, ss.~-
Judging from the closing sentence
the boys are interesting themselves
also.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

T. G. Worley, prominent young
planter Of Prarie Merrouge, Morehouse
parrish accidentIy shot and killed him
self with pistol while walking in his
field Wednesday. The pistol ball
struck him in the face near the nose,
going almost through his head. He
was the only son of Mr.. A. T. Worley,
for long time one of the most pros.
porous planters of Morehouse.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29


In moving furniture from one place
to another there Is more or less DAM
ages occasioned by bruises and the
following is said to be the best mode
Of remedying them:
1 To take bruises out of furniture, wet
the paft with. warm water; double a
piece ofbrown paper Ave or six times,
soak Il In the warm water, and lay it
on the piece; apply on that warm,
but not hot, flatiron till the moisture
10 evaporated. II the bruise be not
gone repeat the process. After two or
three applications the dent or bruise
will be raised to the surface. II the
bruise be small, merely soak it with
warm water, and hold red hot iron
near the surface, keeping the surface
continually wet-the bruise will soon
disappear.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

The issue of standard silver dollars
from the n1ints during the week end
ing April 24tb, was $396,052. The
issue during the corresponding period
of last year was s$i62, ,ses. The ship
ments of fractional silver coin since
April 1st amount to $2,997.3S.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

We acknowledge receipt OF the
Shreveport Daily Johrnal;a neat four
page twenty.four column paper re-
Gently started, with A. D. Battle,
some years since editor of the Times,
as editor in chief. We exchange with
pleasure,
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

= We clip the following from the Alex
andria Democrat of yesterday;
Monroe can afford to put on airs
she is to have cotton compress, an Oil
mill, ara last though not least, q boss
base. ball club, : sa a.ssa E-s...s:
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

A horss-thief was hanged the other
day by lynchers in Arizona, and the
local editar, in describing the event
ref6arked: "Jln departed this life
with his accustomed lively snap"
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

Col. Eugene Tisdale, river editor of
the New Orleans Chronicle, and who
was a prominent citizen Of Monroe
from 1866 to 1868, was run over by a
switch engine of the Morgan railroad
at New Orleans Tuesday last and had
bis leg badly crushed necessitating
amputation. He is now in precari-
ous condition.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

Eugland's puzzle and the SOD Of the
Emerald Isles charade is; You rouse
my first by asking rent for my second,
and; my whole is my country
Ireland. +,fas5 yogl p tf.Fs,
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

? The stock raIsers are not bothered
about the Spring rains. The rains only
makes the grass grow more luxuriant-
ly for the stock.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

TSther Ryan was buried In Mobile
yest1giiay. His remains were followed
to . tomb by an immense concourse
t0fpeople. ~
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

The Parsons (Kansae) Sun reports
the opinion Of . striker of that city,
that but few people realized what was
to occur on the flrst day of May. He
said; "On that day, as sure as the sun
rises, every knight from Maine to
Oregon and from the Canada line to
the gulf, will be called out on a stfike. -
Whether or not the man spoke by
authority is a question of grave doubt.
Nreveport Jo,unu1. .ss.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

Z There are some fears In Virginia
that q prohibition movement will be
ofkanized against tobacco.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

Three fellows have started from
New Orleans 10 Boston on bicycles.
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29
The planters are waiting until the
clouds roll by. 49, <

,s4 The eight hour movement is.spread,
ing oil over the country ,.s. ,,.,
The Daily telegraph., 1886-04-29

= firm Of proof readers may very
pSoperly be called "The house OF cor
e. lion. ~ a.s 6s
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
TIE WATER QUESTION.

Attention is called to the communica-
ton of "PrO Bono Publico" on the esti-
mated cost of running plant to supply
the city of Austin with sufficient and
cLeap water. The writer is not an anna
teur, nor are his figures guesswork, but are
based on his experience and knowledge of
the facts in the case. In every instance
he gives outside figures. His list of sala-
ries is very high, in almost every instance
higher than the rate now paid the en-
ployees of the present city water works.
This was done that the best men in each
apacity might be secured and that the
city should have the most efficient corps
of workmen possible. The incidental ex-
penses at $25OO is thought to be exceed
ingly ceasonable-and above what circum-
stances would generally demand. Yet with
these liberal allowances, and estimating
the cost to the consumers at far less than
they are at present paying for smaller
service than they would have under the
proposed scheme. we find that the gross
expenses are $4,000 within the annual in
come. Figures don't lie, if corr ectly ma
nipulated, and granting the basis of the
calculation is correct, the fact stares the
citizens of Austin in the face, that it would
be economy, individual and corporate to
either buy the present waterworks or
build others.
If these figures are incorrect criticism
is invited, as the intention is not to attack
present improvements, so much as to gain
for Austin cheaper facilities to aid in es-
tablishing thorough sewerage all over the
city. 1t will be observed that in this esti-
innate $25,O00 is allowed for salaries and
current expenses, as against $4,000 in
the estimate of Col. DeGress. This will
show the intention to sail within prov1s-
ion for the greatest possible expenditure;
and yet the fact of the overplus credit to
the city's account exists. Let the people
think over these figures, for the case rests
on their decision.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
MORE BOMB THROWING.

Considering the fact that half dozen
dynamiters are soon to ascend the gal
lows at Chicago, the explosion at the
town of Lake, suburb of Chicago by
which a railroad signal tower was shat
tered, and the operator narrowly escaped
with his life, will seem little strange.
But it shows the desperate and fiendish
character of the villains who are benin /
the Chicago commune.
In this instance it was not merely de-
struction of property of railroad which
had offended its employees, that was at
tempted, but the murder of the opera
tor in the signal tower, described in the
dispatches this morning, was evidently in
cluded in the infamous scheme of cow
ardly revenge on railroad corporation.
1t was an act of satanic villainy that, in
Nervousness and cOwardliness, differed
in no degree from the crime perpetrated
by the Phoenix Park assassins some years
ago, or the more recent crime of the ex
plosion in the parliament buildings in
London.
If there ever was an issue on which the
whole people of the country can and must
unite, it is the absolute crushing out and
the utter destruction of the dynamite
fiends and the anarchists in the United
States. The slime of the nihilistic and
communistic suspect has already blurred
the map of this country. The many
headed hydra must be destroyed. The
people of the United States will see
whether their country is to be cursed, dis
graced and terrorized by the criminal
scum of Europe or their infamous theor-
les and methods. The criminal code of
every state should be revised and made
strong enough to put down this new
species of crime, and render such out
RACES as that at Lake at least improbable.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
A NEW POLITICAL JOURNAL.

Labor and Capital is the name of new
monthly just established in Austin. This
is another journalistic enterprise in a
city chat has given birth to so many, and
great quantity of them must have been
beloved by the gods, for they died young
The following is the statement of the
object of the advent of this new paper:
IAN exponent of the great social prob
lem; an advocate of arbitration, concllla-
ton and cooperation between labor and
capital. Young men now training for
business should read it. Farmers, labor
ers. merchants, manufacturers, need an
organ that handles without fear or favor"
the great problem of the age
If it were to stick to that field there
might be some chance of success, but 1t
has launched out on the trOublous and
uncertain sea of politics. A careful peru
sal of the first number would lead to the
belief that the real object is to boom its
candidate for the United States senate,
while its stated object is only an incident
to tire former.
AS it's heading, instead of a device
showing the union of labor and capital,
with the inscription, Omitted We Stand,
Divided We FALL" it should be "The Gov
ernor of Texas" grasping the hand of the
United States Senator" and the inscrip-
ton should read, "United States Senate,
provided we get there" and eli" might
give rounded appearance to the latter
part of the inscription.
1t needs no search for ear marks to show
the purpose of this new venture, for it
says at the end of an article
entitled, Senatorship, Governor Ire
land is the choice of Texas for the United
States Senate"
As a natural transition from its virtual
bject, politics in their relation to Gov.
ireland, it takes up wall of distress on
behalf of its nominal ject and complains
at the manner in which the new capitol is
being built. Foreign stone cutters and
convict labor are the themes upon which it
discourses.
Labor and capital had better drop poll
tics and stick to its published object, or
else drop itself and take up its real OBJ
ject. 1t cannot serve two masters.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
GENERAL NOTES.

Senator VOORHEES, says he don't want to
be the Ia of an 1888 ticket, but as yet
h sn't said that he wouldn't be the head.
Every morning the aged president of
William and Mary college rings the col
lege bell, and though no one responds
the college i, open and still maintains its
charter, but without professor, tutor or
pupil
Il see Lucinda, they are going to have
a new music pagoda at Manhattan Beach.
We must go down next week" Il don't
think l care to, Henry; can bear pago-
das. If they we're going to play waltzes,
why. wouldn't mind. Pagodas are so
classical"
Magazine Editor-How many new man
uscripts came in to-day's mail? Office
Twenty two, sir. well, pick out
all you are able to read and send them
back" Il can read all of EN-, sir, except
one; "Ah, let me have that-evidently
by some noted author
"As between dog and a dude for a
summer resort pet" said young lady as
young man left her side, give me the
dog" why" asked her companion.
The dog never says anything" Neither
does the dude, does he?" mo, but he
makes me tired talking so much"
"Bailiff," said an Arkansas judge one
day last week to the officer in charge of
the jury, will you please inform She jury
that there is to be horse race in Mer-
rick's pasture at o'clock" The jury
had been out for As hours, but in less than
80 minutes they came into court with a
verdict.
The baby was doubled up with the
cramps and yelling at the rate of mile a
minute, as the father and mother stood
over the crib with the laudanum bottle
between them. "No, Julia" he said gently
but firmly, "you pour it out; that child il
growing so much like your mother that
can't trust myself"
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
THE UNIVERSITY

The fourth session of the university
begins next Wednesday, September Is.
The prospects are favorable for an in
creased attendance. The crops in that
part of the state from which the students
mainly come are above the average, and
consequently more young men and young
women will be able to leave home. Again,
the university has been growing rapidly
IN public esteem. This is evidenced by
the overwhelming sentiment in its favor
among the teachers at the late session of
their association in this city; by the unan-
cratic platform, congratulating the
state on its successful inau-
guratioH, and more than all, by the enthu-
siasm its old students have managed to
infuse into their respective neighbor-
hoods concerning its equipments, its ia
cilities for study, and its splendid endow-
ment We are informed that the cores
pondence during the summer has been
very encouraging. There have been not
only more letters of inquiry, but there
have been more letters received giving
assurances of intentions to enter than ever
Before. A number of students from a
distance are already on the ground
although it is nearly week
before the session opens. As is
known to the readers of THE STATES.
MAN, some fifteen of the best high schools
of the state have already secured their
recognition by the faculty as auxiliaries
which entities their graduates to enter the
Freshman class of the university without
examination. Some four or FIVE Other
schools of high grade, have made appli-
cation for the same privilege. These will
be acted upon as soon as committee
from the faculty can visit the schools and
report concerning their teachers and
courses of study. The advantages to ac-
crue to the state from this voluntary as
ISOLATION of the high schools, with the
university, cannot be overestimated. The
whole system of public instruction will
be harmonized and the edifce of state
schools will be symmetrical from "turret
to foundation stone"
The majority of the members of the
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

faculty, after their summer vacation, are
on hand ready for work.
From inquiries, we have ascertained that
a number of students contemplate forming
mess clubs. Houses for this purpose
can be easily procured, and the clubs will
be organized without difficulty. Board in
families can be secured at from $15 to
500 per month. Upon the whole the out
look for the university is encouraging,
and its continued success is the hearty
wish of The STATESMAN.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
CURE FOR PILES.

Piles are frequently preceded by a
sense of weight IN the back, loins and
lower part of the abdomen, causing the
patient to suppose he has some af-
lection of the kidneys or neighboring Or
gans. At times, symptoms of Indigestion
are present, hatulency, uneasiness of the
stomach, etc. A moisture like perspira-
ton, producing very disagreeable itch
ing, after getting warm, is common at!
tendant. Blind Bleeding and Itching
Piles yield at once to the application OF
DR.. Bosanko's Pile Remedy, which acts dl'
rectly upon the parts affected, absorbing
the Tumors allying the intense itching
and effecting,a permanent cure. Price OF
cents. Address The DR.. Bosanko
Medicine Co., Piqua, o. Sold at Alexan
der's DRUG store.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
MAY BE A DIFFICULT QUESTION.

In the present attitude of the people of
Texas, individually, toward Mexico, it is to
be feared that in case the revolutionist, Ell
Coyote, develops any strength at all that
many hot-headed persons who hate Mex
leo will join the revolution party. AS a
matter of fact, revolutions are necessary
to the political existence of Mexico. 1t
is sort of grim amusement for them
and with but little danger attached, but if
some Texas blood is infused into these
attacks on the government, it will
not only assume different
aspect but it will increase the
already strained relations between
Mexico and this country. Many charges
of Mexican outrages for which there has
been no indemnity are stirring the alrea-
dy heated blood of our frontier people,
and every day develops some new atroclty
committed on Mexican soil, and hushed
up heretofore. There must be naturally,
some outlet, for all this bad blood which
has been forming, and if the national
government gets no redress, individuals
can scarcely be prevented from wreaking
their vengeance on the hated Mexi-
cans, if the opportunity arises. I'm
doubtedly, Ell Coyote depends
in great part on the angered
Texans for the fuel which is to keep the
fire going between his following and the
government All along the frontier there
are people who are wrought up with a
sense of their wrongs, who are only wait
ing for chance to strike blow. 1t is to
1e hoped that common sense will rule and
will keep the hands of these citizens off
and perhaps in time tardy justice from
Mexico may be gotten for the wrongs on
United States citizens. In the meantime
however, it is human nature for any
one to desire to have his wrongs
redressed, and if there are any
outbreaks such as above mentioned
our government can blame no one but
itself for placing them in situation
where they have to right their own wrongs
1t is indeed just reflection on a gov
eminent as powerful as ours that cannot
protect its own citizens. Its growls of
protest against such wrongs do not get
the required redress, and it has always
stopped when this much is done.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
CARELESS REFORMERS.

WHY did the Dallas so-caled prohib-
ton convention of reformers omit opium
and tobacco? Or coffee and tea? The
opium habit is fast coming into fashion,
with all its train of terrible consequences
to both body and mind. There is scarce
ly a town of any size in Texas where
the regular Chinese joint is not
found and the practice is daily and
surely spreading, as the regularly increas-
ing sales of the drug will show. If it
keeps on. opium will be far deeper,
more destructive curse in this country,
than whisky ever was. There is
always some chance ofreform in
a whisky drinker, in an opium eater,
almost none. AS to tea and coffee
there is plenty of scientific
evidence that they are, in some degree
deleterious. Again, as to tobacco. an ex-
treme reformer might say that this, one
of the deadliest of narcotic poisons, ac-
cOrding to the opinion of many physi-
clans, carries its thousands to the grave.
This narcotic should, at least, have claimed
some attention i'll the Dallas convention,
along with the other narcotic whisky.
Our prohibition friends should not for
get these things, nor slight tobacco and
opium in their crusade against King Al
cohol.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16
AGENTS.

THE DAILY STATESMAN can be obtained at the
following places:
Carl Bnrk 4art, Georgetown, Tex
>. c. Beckwth, 4S Tribune building, New York
City.
e. W. Baldwin, 257 West Commerce street, San
Antonio, Tex.
Crescent News Co., Capitol hotel, Houston, Tex
]. o. Frink Il Co., Taylor, Tex.
Geo. c. Harris, San Angelo, Tex
Hotel Maverick News Stand, San Antonio, Tex
A. b. Kennedy Kyle, Tex.
Frank Richmond, Burnett, Tex
K. H. Morris, Round Rock, Tex
w. Il. Swift q Co., Palestine, Tex
j. NJ. Lowry, Mason, Tex.
w. E, Smith, Lampasas, Tex
Phillip Roeder No. 322 Olive street, ST. Louis
Russell e. Ellison, San Marcos Tex
Union News Co., San Antonio' Tex
Aud on all the railroads in the state
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

IT seems Senator Jones, of Florida, has
gotten over his infatuation for the Mich
igan heiress and concluded to return
home. The senator has acted more like
a schoolboy than member of the SEN
ate of the United States.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

THOSE republican stump speakers, such
as Blaine, Sherman, Logan g. Co., have
had the ground knocked from under their
''solid SOUTH bugaboos now by the recent
earthquake. The subterranean resOlu-
tions have done what the G. o. p. has so
long attempted, shaken the solid south,
and has stolen great deal of campaign
thunder from the republican pillars.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

The peremptory demand made upon
Uncle Sam for release of British sealing
vessels seized in Alaskan waters, looks
like somebody is determined to stir up
trouble with Great Britain in the interest
of the Parnellites.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

The New York World is getting to be
quite a cautious critic of the democratic
party in its relation to the national gov
eminent. No opportunity is lost to get
in a lick against Cleveland or some of his
cabinet. Is the World democratic or does
1t read all those it condemns out of the
party?
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

A DISPATCH this morning says Stogs-
dale, the author of the terrible tragedy at
Houston, Mo-, yesterday, started for
Texas. He had better have struck out for
Chicago
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

The inverted mop, with its luxuriant
strands neatly parted and falling away on
either side, is again doing duty in the
daily papers as likeness of Geronimo.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

Clerk Ito landlord -"Mr Crowder, the
bus is coming up from the boat with
eighteen people. Shall give them those
vacant rooms in the west wing" Land
lord (scornfully)-" Course not. we've
been vowing for week that we were
crammed full, and now's the time to prove
it. Cot 'em in the corridors"
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-09-16

Commodore Bancroft Gherardi will re-
lieve Commodore Chandler in command
of the navy yard at New YORK on the
18th of October. Commodore Chandler
will sail in the steamer of october ~,
from San Francisco to relieve Admiral
Davis in command of the Asiatic station.