davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-12-09
PITH AND POINT.

1 s
A new book is entitled ..Hold Ul
Your Heads, Girls. We trust tina
t. 'ey won't as long as they wear the
pres ent style of hat. Boston Post.
m. 'nya man who thinks he is going
to set the world afire finds to his sorrow
that somebo. 1y has turned the hose on
him.-NesO Hn res Nescs.
Patient: ~ hat do you think of a
warmer climate for he. dcctor?n Doc
tor: ..Great Scott! man, ism { that just
what am trying to save You fromp'
Was she his wife?n ask sd q mar
ried woman of an acquaintance. YES.
Why do you ask?'' because they were
so Jolly together. You don't often see
married people jolly together in public,
you know. Harper's Weekly.
Women do not swear, but the pro-
fanest man in America would give five
dollars if he could initiate the express
sion of good woman when she hits
her thumb with the hammer and says:
t'Mercy on me''-Burdette.
-Teacher-The object of this lesson
is to inculcate obedience. Do you know
what to obey is? Apt Pupil-Yes,
marin; | obey my pa Yes, that's
right Now tell me why you obey your
father?" because he bigger'n me. -
NJ Y. Telegram
old lawyer Ito young partner)-
Did you draw up old Moneybag's
will? Young partner--Yes, s'r; and so
tight that all the relations in the world
can not break it. Old lawyer with
some disgust-The next time there is q
will to be drawn up I'll do it myself. -
N Y Sun
M mister Gin grocery store)-I am
pleased to see, Mr.. Sugarsand, that
motto on the wall. Honesty is the best
pol cy." 1t will pay you from bust
ness point of view, to say nothing of
any thing else. Mr.. Sugarsand (hope-
fully)-I hope so, sir; but / haven't
tried itlong enough yet to make fair
test of it.-M y. Sun.
Youth Gin the BARRIERS chair) i
say, do you think I'll ever have a mus
tacheP Barber (after thorough exam
can't say as / do.
gov 'ner has tremendous mustache.
s.Ah! that may be; but perhaps you
take after your maj Worcester Ga {.
yette.
mo, George" she said, II can not
marry you. l shall always esteem you
as friend, but 1 can not be your wife"
George hesitated. "Clara," sad he.
twill you grant me one favor.
before I go away forever?" Eyes,
George" she replied, kindly. "What
is it9" please put your refusal down
on paper. III feel safer. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
The son of butcher had great diff.
ficulty in fractions, although his teach.
er did his very best. Nov. let us sup
pose" said the teacher, ''that custom.
er came to you father to buy five pounds
of meat, and you father had only four
to sell-what would he dop" keep
his hand on the meat while he was
we; ghingit." was the candid answer
Chicago standard.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-12-09
HE HAD AN IDEA.
The Simple Invention Which Brought a
Fortune to a Flooding German.


brooklyn Eaglel
I ran across one of those men with an
idea the other day. He is middle-aged
German and he lives on Vanderbilt ave-
nue. A few years ago he was very or
binary fellow, drudging away at trade,
with the prospect of always being poor
and drudge. That was what his neigh
bors thought of him. But, while he was
pounding away he emulated the example
of the widows famous cow, 'didn't say
much, but kept up deal of thinkin'." One
day he got up from his bench q think it
was a bench, though it might have been a
tailor's table or butchers block; any
how, the plodding German knocked off
from his trade) and he went out of the
shop with an idea. His friends noticed no
change in their neighbor. If they noticed
him at all, it was to reflect what a hopeless
drudge of German he was. Meanwhile,
he went right ahead with his idea.
Then some of his friends discovered that
he did not come back to his bench. That
worried them little. A few weeks later
they observed that he went over to New
York every day and was beginning to dress
better and spruce up bit That really
gave them great deal of concern. The
next thing they took note of was that the
petty German tradesman had begun to
build new house. Then they were ter
r1Dly cut up. FINALLY the wn0le Unlng came
out. The Vanderbilt avenue Germans
idea was simple enough, but it has already
made him rich and the money keeps COM
ing in. His idea originated the small card
board signs, with variegated letters upon
them, seen around the walls of every pop
ular restaurant. The letters look like let
tiers cut out of wall paper. At first they
were. Then the German thought of an
improvement, and he tried making the let
tiers of prettily figured calico. That gave
the little signs greater durability, and, as
he had prepared glue especially adapted
to sticking on the letters, it struck him to
apply for patent
Simple as was the whole thing, he got
his patent. 1t has filled his purse and
lifted him out of the life of drudge.
Not only in every popular restaurant in
Brooklyn are these attractive little signs
to be found, announcing specialties on the
bill of fare each day, and thus making the
demand constant, but in many bar-rooms,
drug stores, waiting rooms, hotel cor
ridors, Offices and scores of other places
they serve diversity of purposes. From
Brooklyn ard New York restaurants the
popularity of the variegated card signs ex-
tended to other cities, until now the little
signs are in common use as far east as
Remnants of cloth are used in making the
letters, and the cost is, therefore, very
light. The demand has been something
tremendous, and the plodding German
tradeSman of Vanderbilt avenue has risen
to the dignity OF a solid business man, with
his Office in New York, his family in new
house, and prosperity all around him.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-12-09

Total. -....-.....-......... a,b0l.0fa "a
An exhaustive showing of the condition, total
earnings operating expenses and surplus earn
ings of the twenty-five railroads subsidized or
aided by land grants by the Government is
made, the various Pacific roads coming in for
the chief attention.
There is also submitted the report of the
Commissioner of Pensions, which exhibits in
detail the operations of that Bureau during the
past fiscal year. The report indicates greatly
increased amount Of work at a considerably
diminished expenditure and with less clerical
ment.
The record shows that during the past month
the determination of cases has been not only
far in advance of the number appealed from the
decision of the Commissioner of Pensions, but
that the increase in the disposal o. the appeals
has been 500 per cent. greater than in the
month preceding.
1t is asserted that the business of the Patent
ONCE is in prosperous condition, and that the
current work, which was on an average five and
one-half months in arrears at the commence
ment of the present administration, was at the
time of the commissioners report within three
months up to date. The commissioner de-
clares that he has ''all the force that is really
needed and that with such force he expects to
be able to bring the work substantially up to
date within the next few months.
The commissioner urges that additional room
is very much needed. and several amendments
to the existing statutes are suggested
The Commissioner of Labor submitted his an
nual report on the 18th of last March 1t was
impossible for him to submit full report Of the
operations of the Bureau at an earlier date, be-
cause the Bureau was not organized until dur
ing the last half of the fiscal year ended June
81. 1885. the first report relates entirely to In
dl striai depressions, and is the result of plan
outlined by the Commissioner, and approved by
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-12-09
A farmer near Minnie Ga set

"A far mer near Minnie, Ga, set out
his net ia a mill-pond one night for the
purpose of catching suckers, and next
morning found that he had captured a
seyen-foot alligator in one of them. Tho
alligator had toasted on fish during the
night, and had nearly torn up the net in
which he was entangled.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-12-09

| ever securely held. and these wefs sent in
April last, to Fort Marion, Florida, for safe
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

Japan boasts of singing fish. II
has musical scales, we suppose TerG
SjtingS.
When q thing is we'll meant we
should always take it that way if we
possibly can.
TO keep your mouth shut docs not
make YOU wise, but it makes you APP
pear so, and that goes nearly as far.
Bank cashiers are generally long
lived. One would hardly believe that
possible, since they are exposed to draft:
the whole time.
That man is unfortunate who is
wise only in his own conceit. When
the concet is taken out of him he
will feel like q fool.-N. o. PicGyune.
Little Tommy-Can l eat another
piece of pie? Mamma (who is some
thing Of a purist)-I suppose you can.
Tommy-Well, may [? Mamma-No,
dear, you may not. Tommy-Darn
grammar, anyway T. Telegram.
Old Gent-Here, waiter, how do these
buttons and things come to be in this
soup? Fresh Waiter-We make our
soup from Chicago dressed beef.-Ar-
5uRSGa0 TraCcler.
Some one says: "The observant
man has a teacher in his eye" Since
the observant man also has a pupil in
his eye, natures object in placing so
many lashes within easy reach is appar
emit Chicago Journal.
"A Philadelphia millner advertises
sixty distinct styles of hats. This eX-
plains why it takes a woman all day to
make choice Boston Erening TrdU-
eier.
PA, what's this that's always in the
paper headed Foreign and Domesticg
Can thing be foreign and domestic,
too?' NO, my son, Of course not. "
Eyes, it can, too. Look at Bridget. y
Cbicag) Rambler.
Young husband Ito wife) Didn't
telegraph you not to bring your mother
with YOU? Young wife-I know. That S
what she wants to see you about. She
read the telegram, SYtingS.
A Vermont woman was struck on
che head by large dishpan which had
been hung in such a place over the
closet door that it could not be opened
without dislodging the pan. Fortu-
nately the injury was not serious, but
with righteous Indignation at the stu
p'dity Of her new Irish "help,' she
asked. Didn't YOU know the pan was
sure to fall and likely to hurt some one
badly if YOU hung it up there2' In.
dade did, ma'am. 1t fell on meseh
twicct ,o-day."
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
Leather Imitation.

By means of electricity the most at
tractive leather surfaces are now COM
pletely initiated. The leather which is
desired to initiate is first well cleaned
and coated with graphite, as in electro
plating a smaller article. 1t is then
placed in copper bath, the tank of
which is made large enough to easily
receive a skin of any size, A powerful
iynamo-electric machine furnishes the
current The copper is deposited upon
the coated surface of the hide to the
thickness of one-siXteenth to one-eighth
of an inch. The plate thus formed re-
produces, but reversed, every mark and
minute vein of the leather, so that a
print taken from it is an exact copy of
the original-FrdRb LeSlie'S Illustrated
Newspaper.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
Rare Lolo Manuscripts.

Two interesting MNS, have lately
been presented to the British Museum
by Mr.. Bourne, British Consul at Chung
king, in China. The larger of the two,
which fills seventy-three folios, is in the
Lolo character, and is written in poetry
of five characters to line. The smaller
one (thirteen folios) is in the writing of
the Shui-kai, Shan tribe living in the
southern portion of the province of
Kwei-chow This is the first specimen
of the writing of this tribe which has
reached Europe, The characters are
plainly adaptations of contracted forms
of an early kind of Chinese writing, with
an admixture of pictorial signs. The
work is on divination, each sentence
ending with words of good or evil
augury.-N 7. Post.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL


The Boston Latin School is the old.
est institution of the kind in America.
1t originated in 1G54.-BOS,oR Globe.
The First parish Sunday-school OF
Charleston, Mass, which is the oldest
one in New England, celebrated its sew.
entieth anniversary recently.
Cornell University will confer no
honorary degrees hereafter, and to be-
come a doctor of laws under the new
rules of the institution one must be eX-
amined. Ithaca Journal.
Hereafter the students at the New
Jersey State Scientific School, in addi-
ton to the military drill, will receive
instructions in craftsmanship on a
range in the suburbs of New Bruins
wick.--N Y Sun.
The Methodist Church in Canada
has three local preachers who are mil
lionaires, w. Z. Sandford, of Hamil-
ton; John Macdonald, of Toronto, and
G. A. Cox, of Peterboro. Toronto
MaH.
Rev Jeremiah O'Hcarn, a priest OF
the Roman Catholic Church, has been
received into the Baptist Church at
Dallas, Tex. He had spent three years
investigating and studying the Baptist
faith.-M Y Witness.
In 4 recent discourse DR.. Hopkins,
ex-president OF Williams, stated that
Of the $3.50 graduates of the college,
2,229 have sat under his instruction in
the siXty-one years during which he
has been connected with tn Y
Tribune
Chaplain McCabe claims that the
Methodists in this country gave las
year for the work of God" 19,041, 3S7
including 1892, 407 for the support o
pastors elders and bishops; 81, 131, 49,
for building churches and parsonages
$l,000,000 for missions; $500, 900 fo
current expenses of 10, 700 churches.
Recently a census of the attend
ance of the churches of London, Eng.
was taken. 1t showed that 460,0Ol
persons attended the services in tn
morning and 100000 at night. TIN
largest established church, S.. Paul S
had an evening attendance of 3,403
Mr. Surgeons church was at the hea
OF the dissenting churches, having
morning attendance of 4,519 and a
evening attendance of 900.
DR.. John II. Drummer, in his Unjo
IF The Churches, puts the number c
negro Methodists at 100000, which
more than half the number if the stats
tics of the various churches are correct
They are as follows, viz: African Meth
odist Episcopal Zion, 100000; Africa
Methodist Episcopal, 391, 900; Methods
Episcopal, $4,000; Colored Methodist
$1,000; all others combined, $4,000
Total, 100000.
AT the annual session of the Syno
of the Reformed Church held in Phili
delphia, resolutions favoring a constitJ
tional amendment prohibiting the mar
ufacture and sale of liquor, and request
ing Congress to legislate in favor {
Indians holding land individually, wer
passed. The offer of the town of Wicl
tia, Kan, in regard to the establishmer
of college there was accepted. Th
statistics show that the body has no.
215 ministers, ass congregations, an
10000 members. Philadelphia Press.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
Wholesale Capture of Thieves.

A short time ago the nephew of the
most notorious thief in Warsaw was
married, and in honor of the occasion
a feast was provided for all the thieves
of the Polish city. The police got wind
of the gathering, and prepared elabor-
ate plans for great capture. While
the thieves were engaged in a quadrille
word was given that the enemy was at
hand. A great commotlon followed.
and before the numerous party coulS
escape, the officers of the law appeared
at the door. The master of ceremonies,
as in duty bound, made d termined
stand, drawing a dagger, and keeping
the police at bay for a moment or two.
Resistance was, however, vain. An
entrance was forced by the armed of
fcers, and the entire company was APP
pretended y Post.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
A LESSON FOR JOHNNY.

HSuPar-plums for you, my wee little man
Divide them with Tommy, your brother,
And always remember tbs proper to give
The best that you have to another.
4 genleman's always unseltsh, of counsel
And thinks it a pleasure to show
How little he cares for himself and how much
For brothers and sisters, you know!
$50 you, am sure will be glad to pick out
The largest and sweetest and best
For brother--your dear little generous heart
Contented with keeping the rest"
AS temptingly near him the goodies were
heaped,
And Johnny most thoughtfully eyed them:
HWhy, mamma, think that's very nice way.
Come here TOmmy-yOu may divide them.
Sidney DdHe in Youths Companion.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11

In brewery at Louisville, Ky, is n
Strasburg clock of unusual excellence.
1t is like all ordinary cocks until just
previous to the hour, when a little man
Jumps up from behind with alager-bcer
glass in his hand. This he elcvateS tn
his head and then says, in wonderful
" distinct aud human way, Lager
beer" as many times Is the clock
should strike to designate the hour.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11

According to Mr.. w. H. Preece,
the English electrician, the so-called in
duction sounds in telephones, caused by
electric currents passing over wires,
have been produced in telephone lines
not approaching nearer than forty miles
70 the wire Of the disturbing current
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11
It Certainly Ought.

Young Feathcrly had eaten four mor
hot biscuits than he ought to have
done, simply because Miss Clara hao
told him that she made them herself
and Bobby. with a perplexed look upor
his face, was waiting a favorable oppor
tunity to say something,
MIR. Featherly," he finally said,
''have you any matters on hand that
ought to be attended to at once?"
"Wen, nothing very urgent, Bobby,
laughed Mr.. Featherly. ''WhyPn
Because Clara told ma tho. whel
you found out what nice biscuits sh
could make, it ought to hasten mat
ters. Life.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11

-Chas Caughlin, of Philadelphia, had
49, stolen from him, A neighboring
woman dreamed that it was hidden
away in a hay-loft, and she climbed up
and found all but $1,000 in a handker-
chief. She was at once arrested for not
dreaming where the balance was, and a
search of her house brought the missing
sum to light. Philadelphia Press.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-12-11

-Tramp-Are yea the proprietor o
this hotel, sir? ProIyrietor-YeS. Tramp
VIII you Please punch me under the
ribs as hard as You can? Proprietor
Certainly thee, how's that Tramp
-That'll do. Now, what I'm gettin
at is, don't y5u wan ter hire me Tor ;
perambulatiA' dnner-g gong? That hol
Ter sound you'd fetch people from tn,
tenth orS.-Ttd-BUS.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-07-02

.essly rs to take her unawares. She ne1
her head at the sound of his step. Thd
room is dim for a moment but then a
bright blaze springs and shows him plainly
his dark face. his passionate dark eyeS
She turns to him swiftly. but she is NOD
startled. He had been so Immediately "a
her thoughts, that to find him actually peeia
emit does not seem strange. 4
"You !" she cries softly, holding out bot
her hands.
He sees the sudden lighting up Of he.
whole face, and his heart gives one exultauS
bound.
'Gladys, he exclaims, springing forwardN
'.you have not forgotten mel"
''No," she whispers. ::
'Oh, my darliny!" ~
He holds out his arms he clasps hsr to hfs
heart, he kisses her And. standing theirs
in the freight, they forget past griefs, past
loneliness, past bitterness-forget, as they
once before forgot, all but the divine knowS
edge that they love each other.
THE END.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-07-02
CHAPTER Xxx,

1t is three years since the events related
happened at Kingscourt. A great.many things
have happened since then Three years sell
people. The first thing that happened was
the death of the old Earl. Then the Abys-
sinian war broke out, and called Blount aw,'y
from his lady-love. He was absent for di-
teen months and for as many more an m
valid at home, having been wounded in O
skirmish with King Tneodore's guerillas.
We're, Lord Kingscourt, did not long en-
Joy his new title, if indeed he ever enjoyed il.
A rapid decline carried him off about nine
months after the shooting of Robert North.
The anxiety connected with that event,
and the means he had taken to drive away
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-07-02

THE END.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-19

Baron TennNSon SAYS that Edgar
Poe Is the literary glory of America
Ex-senator Davis, of West Virginia.
has givcn ten thousand dollars towards
n high-sChool at Piedmont
\ negro girl living near Camilla.
Ga, answers to the name of Mamie
Queen Victoria Southern Belle Atlantic
Beauty Baker.
Colonel A. H. Markland. who was
the head of the army mail-servicc dur
ing the war, is preparing II book ot
stories and "reminiscences illustrating
the lighter side of the great rebellion
Chicago SWR
Lieutenant Grccly now wears long
Dundrcary whiskers. and these, with
his eyeglasses, give him danditcd air
rather than the appearance of one who
bearded the great bear i'm his arctic
den. N y. Mail
Mr.. Ruskin recently said i'm "A
lecture on "Art:" IL do not speak of
the Celtic race because should now bc
expected to say Kettle; andr don't
mean to. il only for fear that | should
next bc required TO say St. Kckclian
George w. Childs. of the 1'hflalcl-
phia Logger. has been made an honor
AIRY member of the Baltimorr Typo
graphical Union, the oldest printers
union in the United States. Mr.. Childs
is good typcsettcr, - RhuGdfipbia
Press.
Roy. r. DE Witt Talmage expresses
the opinion that he who has no reason
for his matrimonial choice except "a
pretty face "is like man who should
buy farm for the dahlias in the door
yard" Moreover, "therc are times
when the plaincst wife Is queen of
beauty. N Y. Tribune.
Patti had some odd experiences at
Bucharest The ladies of the audiences
saluted her by throwing hundred
white pigeons upon the stage, And
then II "supc' who had climbed up
into the stage loft to have look ut
her fell down and nearly killed him
self, and a cry of "Fircp' was. raised
which almost caused panic.
The biggest man in Cincinnati is
Fred Madison, who stands six feet ten
and half inches i'm his stockings.
measures sixty inches around the
shoulders, weighs two hundred and
fifty pounds and is only twcnty-onc
years of age. He got his growth out
among the lumber mills of Puget
sound and salmon fisheries of tho
Columbia river. Cincinnati Times.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-19

Sliding from her pony, she had no
power To stand alone. hut fell faiuting
tu the ground.
The Ranger. bending over her. was
surprised To see m Indian sQuaw. but
applying brandy to her lips she soon
recovered. and n moment more tho
Rangers had surrounded her. To whom
she made herself known and the dan
gcrou> condition of those LETT iu the
stockadc. Half am hour later a hum
drcd Texas Rangers were riding swift.
~ 10 the rescue cot the little settlement.
aud just after midnight rode up To the
gates oi the ~tockadc. Not an Indian
could be- seen. The Indian scouts had
noted the advance OF the Rangers long
hctorc they arrived. and had left i'm
haste, forgetting 10 wait for the signal
(thc death Song) of solemn Face. jon
me Moore became the heroine of the
border. Although she has long slept
in her grave beneath the forest trees
where the stockadcd block-hou,c used
to stand. she lives i'm the memory and
hearts of those whom She saved from
the >calping-knifc of the Comanchcs -
LOWiSCiNc COHyisT-.JOHrHdI