The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-07-17
CONC TO SLEEP IN CHURCH.
A ChurehgOer's Experience and Physi-
clans Practical Ideas.

DOCTORS are consulted IOI strange iSsA-
sons sometimes remarked a physician
the other day, but seldom has my pro
fessional aid been sought on an odder
ground than was presented to me re-
Gently by an elderly gentleman who
offered himself for my treatment. He
wanted me TO cure him of sleeping IN
church. The happy thought had oc-
CURED to him of chewing tobacco
practice that he had abandoned for years
to keep himself awake, but he dropped
asleep all the same, partly swallowed his
first Quid, and for a few minutes en-
crossed the attention of the entire con-
gregation by his wild, unstudied ex-
plosions and cavOrtings. The memory
of that bright but shameful season of I'M
hallowed excitement kept him wide
awake one Sunday, but the next he be-
gan TO be drowsy just as soon as the
preacher got agoing. His mental strug-
gle with somnolency kept him just out
side the edge of a good, comforta9 DE
sleep, but nodding like toy mandarin.
I One minute he would nod forward.
further and further, until he threatened
to butt the stylish hat of the young
woman in the pew before him, and then
would wake with a guilty start. The
next he would nod backward, more and
more, until a consciousness of losing ms
balance startled him up, and he would
come erect with a choking gurgle and a
snort that almost made the preacher lose
the thread of his discourse.
"Bv his wife's advice he tried caramels,
! cloves, dried ginger lemon peel, and he
/ could not remember what all else, but
! the only time that system was success
| was when she rang in some Cayenne pep
per lozenges on him. When ali else had
! failed she grimiy said that she would I'M
| dertake the Job of keeping him awake.
! And she did it-Once. just as he was
dropping off into gentle doze and tun-
! ing up for a catarrhal obhgatO he fairly
flew into the ar, with a remark that was
all that could be desired in point OF en-
phasis, but the pious base of which was
sadly misplaced. She had jabbed shawl
pin into his leg. One of the dedcons
came to see him during the week, and
said he thought that the provOcaton
might fairly be taken into account in
Judging the sinfulness of words uttered
| in such hasty excitement. The deacon
suggested that he should try prayer to
| keep him awake; but, of course, he didn't
take much stock in that advice, and
came to me-"
well, what did you do for him?'
About all that the least harmful MEM
bers of my profession do in most cases
nothing. l told him he might drink very
strong tea or coffee before going to
church. and that would probably keep
him awake, but the tea would play the
deuce with his stomach and nerves, and
10 no lil-aixy To Han1a Crfh his
liver, so he had better let both alone
His wife's experiment with the shawl
pin had demonstrated that nerve could
be so irritated as to insure wakefulness,
and for that treatment he could find the
required nerve pretty much anywhere
that pin could be got at him. As for
posture, he couldn't go to sleep as long
as he would stand on titoe."
"Why is the tendency to sleep in church
so common, especially am"'as men:
rlIvI c s.Iv - o.oI reasons. One is the
temperature. In winter the church is,
as rule, too warm, and the effect of a
warm atmosphere upon persons entering
it from the outside cold is to make them
drowsy, almost irresistibly, unless they
have some very strong mental or phys
ical interest or stimulant to keep them
wakefuI. Then special means are af-
forded for Morpheus to attack worship
ers, both by the ear and the eye. All
noises of the world outside are, as far as
possible, excluded, and the only sound
that is heard for a long time is the
preachers voice in measured cadences
little modulated, lulling to sleep as in
, evitably as does the soft sound of rip
ping water, or the pattering of rain
} drops on the roof. That mOnOtOnous
flow of words is more likely than perfect
silence to make person drOwsy. A
! for the effect through the eyes, there is
: the dim, religious light common il
churches, and, second, the straining anC
unnatural position in which the eye:
have to be kept in looking up at a minis
ter perched in pulpit or on platform
considerably higher than the heads Of
] his auditors. You can not long look VI
: at anything without firing the muscle:
} that move the eyeballs and making you
want TO rest them by closing your eyes
When you close your eyes in comfort
| able atmosphere, with a persisten
: lullaby in your ears, you must have some
powerful incentive to wakefulness, o.
= you will go off in the land of nod, JUS
as sure as that tack hammers are no
Z bananas Look at congregations in the
i more sensibly constructed mOderI
churches, where the floor is in amphi
theatrical form, and the line of sight i
straight, or inclining a little down, from
each auditor to the minister at the low
est point and you will find very littl
sleepiness there, especially if the place i
j well lighted. Why, preacher must b
a first-class chump who can not keep tn
brethren awake in that sort of a church
As for the women, they manage to keel
awake very easily. How? By giving
their attention to the study of one an
others bOnnets. New York Sun.
] A Letter from Lord Byron.
In the museum of the great Nationa
library is letter from Byron to an un
: known friend, written in 1921, wherein
he proclaims himself "a citizen of n
country" and in response to an inquir.