Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-06-10
THEY KNOW THE EDITOR.
BY BENJAMIN NoRTHRoP.

course VIII. i can 90 III as easy as
winking. No trouble at all l should
be delighted. know the editor and
he will do anything ask him to-
So, so. You are going to fix it, are
you, X, old boy? And it won't be a
particle of trouble because you know
the editor? So you do, so you do; and,
d friend X, what is great deal more to
the point, be knows you. He knows
YOU like book. Let me see, where did
the editor meet you tirstp Oh! yes. !
have it now.
You were boys together in the same
country town. Perhaps his father was
poor man and yours was the county
Judge. Perhaps you wore tailor-made
clothes at school and his were home
spun and patched. You didn't know
him in those days, Mr.. X, for you were
rich and he was poor. After few years
your father died and you went into a
dry goods store as a clerk while the ed
itor went to the city and became
newspaper reporter. Not many years
afterward he was the editor of the paper,
for the editor had what you always lack
cd, friend X.,-brains. When he went
back to his native town, a short time
ago, a rich and prosperous man-Of-thc-
world, you knew him then, just as
easy. And You would have resented
with indignation any reference to the
old times when you didn't care to know
him. Don't deny it, for you know you
would.
Yes, you know the editor, X, there IS
no doubt about that, but when you visit
his office and try to Fix it, for your
friend you will find friend X, that he
knows you, too, and don't believe you
will find it as simple an operation as
you imagine. If You don't agree with
me, just try it and see.
You have tried fixing things with the
editor before. Yes, you have. If you
have forgotten them, will remind you.
Some years ago you wanted him to give
you three or four columns of his news
paper to puff your friend Jones for the
office of alderman of his ward. You
went by the name of b. that time. BUT |
you We're the same old Y. you always |
were. You knew the editor. the same |
rs you did this time. But you made his
acquaintance differently. You met him
Mt political convention. You were in
iroduced to him at the hotel, and you |
insisted on his taking drink with you
on the strength of the introduction.
Then you gave him cigar, the flavor
of which has never left the editor since
that day, and never will so long as his
memory of bad odors lasts. You spent
ten minutes with the editor telling him
what great man you were, and all that
evening you told your friends that you
were ''solid with the press because YOU
'knew the editor' You have boosted
Of it ever since. Don't ask me how |
know, because shall not tell you But
it is true, all the same.
You remember the time you volun-
teercd to visit his office and give Jones
boom. Jones thanked you gratefully
for the favor and you posed for 4 time
rs benefactOr, for it was not the cdi-
tor who was going to render the obi
CATION, but you, B., the editors friend.
All! b., old boy. that was u sly dodge.
Come, confess, now, didn't it strike YOU
then that you we've pretty sharp old
fellow to pull the wool over the eyes of
Jones and the editor, too?
But it didn't work. Somehow, when
you reached the editors office and
mentioned your plan, he seemed to oh.
ject to it. He didn't say much, but the
next day he printed an editorial Kidding
Jones, and your nice article was
emptied out of the waste basket into
the waste paper bag.
Do you want to know why you failedo
Well, if you won't mention it to liv-
ing soul, III tell you. The editor knew
you. That was the reason.
Then about n month ago You tried it
again. Let me see, what was your
name on that memorable occasion?
Oh! yes; it was c. You might fool
other people who were not so we'll ac-
.quainted with you as |, but you couldn't
deceive me. l knew YOU were The
same old X. the moment / saw YOU.
You met the editor at the club One
night you gave him light from your
cigar. and this led to a few sapient OBJ
servations upon the prevailing weather.
From that moment you knew the editor
So you said to your friends, and of
course you wouldn't prevaricate about
matter of this sort
One day shortly after this friend OF
yours got into some sort of financial
trouble and you asked your friend"
the editor, to publish his side of the
case, which he very kindly did. If you
ever had any inward doubts about your
acquaintance with the editor at first.
this dispelled them forever. Not only
did you know him, but in some sort of
way you had become a chum of his.
Not that you ever associated with him
intimately, but he had done You favor
once, and that gave you claim on him
that no editor has been known to disre-
gard He couldn't if he wanted to, you
reasoned; it wouldn't be professional.
So when your friend, the city official,
asked you to see your friend, the edi-
tor. and make him desist from the ex-
posures of the frauds in that office YOU
gladly consented. You didn't care so
much to help him as to show your pow
or over the man you had obtained con-
troll OF, So you went ON the errand
with light heart and smirk of con-
scious triumph.
don't know what occurred in the
editorial room during the interview.
but this much do know At the club
that night You didn't speak to the cdi-
tor and the attacks didn't cease. You
were, no longer friends. Why9 Simply
this. friend c. X, the editor knew you.
Dear me, how the instances pile I'D.