davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
SOLD THE DOG.
How Josh Billings Cooled a Crowd of Yale
Boys.

How Josh Billings Cooled a Crowd of Yale
Boys.
1t is told of Josh Billings that once
tramping, with a yellow dog as his
companion, he fell among some Yale
boys in a Connecticut village hotel.
They took him for farmer from way
back, and set out to have some fun
with him. On their inquiring, with
affected interest, after the health of his
wife and children, Josh, with counter
feited simplicity, gave them a graphic
account OF his family and farm. ''Of
course you belong to the church?'
asked one of the boys. Eyes. the Lord
be praised, and my father and grand
father before me-" Now, | suppose
you would not tell lie,' said one of
the students. "Not for the world
''What will you take for that dog?H
pointing to Josh's cur, which was
crouching beneath his chair. Il won't
take twenty dollars for that dog
Twenty dollars! Why, he's not worth
twenty cents Il assure you | would
not take twenty dollars for him. y
''Come, my friend,' said the student,
who, with his companions, was bent
on having some fun with the old man.
''Now, you say you won't tell lie for
the world. Let me see if you will not
do it for twenty dollars. III give you
twenty dollars for your dog 'I'H
not take it." ''You will not? Here!
let me see if this will not tempt you to
a lie," added the student, producing a
small bag of half-dollars, which he
built up in small piles on the table.
Josh was sitting by the table, with his
hat in his hand, apparently uncon-
cerned. ''There,' added the student,
"there are twenty dollars. all in silver;
| will give you that for the animal" "
Josh quietly raised his hat to the edge
of the table, and, as quick as thought,
scraped all the money into it except
one half-dollar, and then exclaimed:
II won't take your twenty dollars!
Nineteen and half is as much as the
dog is worth; he is your property. ~
San Francisco Argonaut.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
A DARING BURGLAR.
Escapades Worthy of the Famous Jack
Sheppard of Yore.

Escapades Worthy of the Famous Jack
Sheppard of Yore.
A burglar named Hackett exhibited
abilities that were worthy of Mr.. John
Sheppard. He had been arrested on
suspicion OF participation i'll u very
daring burglary, and also for an assault
on policeman named Storey. He was
locked up in one of the cells
of the Marlborough Police Court,
secured by one of Chubb' $ patent locks
and two outside bolts. When the js,iler
went to the cells to take the man before
the sitting magistrate at eleven i'll the
morning the bird was flown. On the
Derby Day that year the policeman
Storey saw him i'll Il chaisc cart going
over London Bridge. After long pur-
suit and dreadful light he was cap
tured, and received a sentence OF tlftecn
years transportation at the Old Bailey.
At Newgate he made another attempt
to escape, but his plan was discovered
He was then conveyed to the Model
Prison at PentonviIe, where he was
detected cutting through the bars OF
his prison. Extra precautions were
taken in the case OF such Il noted
prisoner. They proved to be in
vain. On Sunday evening Hack
EFT went to divine service in
the prison chapel. He had managed
to conceal about him the sheets and
rope of his bed, the spring OF the cell
door fastened into Jimmy, and a
metal weight. As soon as he entered
his compartment of the chapel-Which
seems not to have been overlooked by
any of the prison warders, as ought to
have been the case-he forced up the
flooring, got under the gallery, broke
his way through zine ventilator, and
gained a small closet. He then got
through a window, over a parapet wall,
along which he walked until he climbed
the roof the Governors house, six feet
above the wall. He then got rid of his
convict clothing-always the surest
means of detection-cXcept shirt and
trousers, and succeeded in sliding down
a gable-end wall into the street. The
following evening he sent the follow
ing letter to the Governor of the jail
George Hackett presents his compli-
ments to the Governor Of the Model
Prison, Pentonville, and begs to ap-
prise him of his happy escape from the
jail. He is in excellent spirits, aid
be useless for his men to pursue him;
that he is quite safe, and in few days
intends to proceed to the Continent
that he may recruit his health. ''-AH
the Year Round.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30

pensions. Never before in history did
the conquered speak with enthusiasm
of these rewards paid to the men who
conquered him; or declare that thew
might well be greater, and that they
were the most sacred oblio ations of the
Nation. Never before in history was
SO frank and generous sentiment dis
torted and mutilated by political op-
ponents who never shed anything more
terrible than ink IN such . conquest.
This has bcon done by some of the
Republican organs one of which says
of this defense OF the pen:ion system
by an cx-Confedcrate that 1t glows
with all the ardor Of M enthusiast who
would like to see it extended to the fcl-
lows who fought on the other side.
There is not a line or u word or q hint
in Secretary Lamar>s report, suggest
ing that he wishes pensions extended
to ''the fellows vino fought on the other
side. He knows too Well i il the Phil
adclphia Press, the author Of these
words, does nOt-that even il he did
wish it the Constitution absolutely for
bids it-Uetr0T Nrre Press
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
Don't Understand Him.

The practical politicians who con-
gregate at Washington find President
Cleveland more and more of an enigma
every day, and confess themselves ut
terly unable after the observation and
experience of nine months, to make
out what manner of man he is. One
of them, Republican Senator, trained
in the school of the spoilsman-says
that the PRESIDENT is ''either a very
big man Or a very little one, be IS
not quite sure which, but the former
opinion is evidently gaining ground
among congressman, however careful
they may be about giving it expression.
Certainly Mr.. Cleveland has thus far
proved entirely too ''big' a man for
any Senatorial syndicate or iunta OF
members to manage, and the success
with which he has resisted the tremen-
dous pressure brought to bear to swerve
him from the line of policy announced
IN his inaugural address can not have
failed to inspire the politicians, as it
has the country at large, with pro-
found respect for his ability, his cour-
age and his force of character. CHICAGO
Times. )
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
SHE WAS BONY.
A Thin Maiden Changes John Henrys
Dudish Propensities.

John Henry, the masher, stood on the
corner with one of his kind, waiting for
girl to come along, whom he might
crush. At last, a thin young woman
from the rural districts came by, and
John Henry thought he had found her.
AS she passed he said something about
her being bony but he went after her,
and catching up, he said:
"Good afternoon, Miss
"Good afternoon" she replied sizing
him up as if she was going to put Il price
on him.
"Ahem, Miss, ahem, I-ah-,'' be
hesitated.
"Well," she continued, cody. why
don't you bark?'
Bark! Bark! I don't quite under-
stand he said, inquiringly.
''Oh. you don't? Well | might have
known better than to have given you
credit for SO much intelligence, but IN
our country puppy that has had any
advantages of training, always harks
when it finds BONE
Since that date John Henry is a
changed man. Me chant Traveller.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
The Hot Water Cure.

"My DEAR, remarked Mrs. De Wiggs
at the breakfast table this morning,
'.Dio Lewis says that hot water will
cure all diseases. ~
"He does, does hep' said Mr.. De
Wiggs.
Eyes, and persons who use the treat.
ment ought never to be sick at ALL
"Well, don't believe it,
"Why?''
."'You know how sick I am all the
time"
"But you have never tried the hot
water cure. -
"What! never tried itr' calculated
De Wiggs, as he sidled towards the
door. ssWhy I've been in hot water
ever since married you
He got outside just in time to miss a
teacup fired at him as a parting salute.
-PlHsb1rglt Chronicle.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
~ARCHlTECT AND BUILDER.
An Anecdote Illustrating the Difference
.~z~ Between the Two Professions.

An Anecdote Illustrating the Difference
Between the Two Professions.
Architects are fond Of telling an
amusing story which tends to Illustrate
che difference between house-builders
and members of their own profession.
Itappears that MI. Alexander. an cml-
nent English architect, was in q certain
lawsuit under cross-examination by a
distinguished barrister who wished to
detract from the weight of his testimo-
ny, and who, after asking him his name,
proceeded:
'You are builder, | believe p
mo, sir was the reply, II am not
a builder; am an architect"
They are much the same, sup
pose 9''
Il beg your pardon, sir; | can not
admit that; | consider them to be to-
tally different
':On. indeed! perhaps you will state
wherein this great difference exists.
s.An architect. sir replied Mr.. Alex
ander, .'concciyes the design, prepares
the plan, draws out the specifications
in short, supplies the mind the builder
is the bricklayer or the carpenter The
builder, in fact, is the machine; the
architect, the power that puts the MAJ
chine together and sets it going
Oh, very well, Mr.. Architect. said
the lawyer; land now. after your IL
genious distinction without difference,
perhaps you can inform the court who
was the architect of the Tower Of
Babel?''-to which question Mr.. Alex
ander made the prompt and telling re-
joinder:
''There was no architect, sir, and
hence the confusion. n-G Geo. J. Manson,
i75 81. Nicholas.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30

The Christian Church at Shoa-hing,
China, has pleasant and practical way
of taking up collections for the support
of the preacher. A long bamboo tube
which is fastened to the wall is inscribed
God loveth cheerful giver.' Each
church mem Der is expected to drop into
this tube every Sunday morning what
ever he can afford. The members are
mostly poor people, and their gifts are
small, but they are trained in the habit
of giving something each week. Thus
the preachers support is regular, even
if not princely.-N. 7. Examiner.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
A Modest Insinuation.

Kosciusko Murphy congratulated
Miss Esmeralda Longcoffin on the oc-
casion of her recent birthday.
'Miss Esmeralda, [ wish you every
thing that goes to make life happy. [
want you to have half a million dol
lars, villa, fast horses and carriages
and "a"
:'Stop now. You have already given
me more than enough. Hadn't you
better wish something for yourself?'
said Esmeralda.
.You shouldn't interrupt me. Twas
going to say that | wished you to have
all those things-and me in the bar
gain. ''-Isras Seftimgs.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
An effort is making in Boston to

An effort is making in Boston to
take the schools entirely out of munich
pal politics, and to this end separate
elections are urged. The complaint is
made that local politicians use positions
in the school-board simply as stepping
stones to places in the Council, the re-
suit too often being that the members
of the school board are men who have
no intelligent sympathy with the cause
of education. Boston, Bulletin.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30
Never Before.

Never before in history, it may be
safely said, did the conquered even in
civil war administer upon the rewards
paid for the services of the conquerors.
This unique spectacle is afforded by the
presence of Secretary Lamar at the
head of the Department of the Interior,
e"d conseqently the arbitrator OF Union
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30

Here is a doctor who claims that a
man can live for two or three weeks at
a time upon water alone" Il can test
ify to its truth. Several different times
in my life I have lived from two to
three weeks on water" s'Good heav-
easl whyp' Had to; / crossed the
ocean. ''-Bimghanatom Republican.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30

"Huh, dat's mighty cuis. Wall,
Jedge, T got to 60 on down heah an
meet er man For de Lawd, thought
yer was pleased wild de birds. Arter
dis I'll be mo- particular an won't deal
wild cherry pusson dat comes erlaung.
Almos' impossible to please er white
pusson.' .''-Arka7esaU TraUeler.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30

New York had mad dog epidemic
about twelve years ago, when several
persons were attacked with hydropho-
bia. Many alleged sure cures for the
malady were published in the papers,
but the record of trustworthy cases
shows that all ended fatally.-N 7.
Herald
St. Landry democrat., 1886-01-30

The United States has three times
as many telephones as all Europe.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1886-04-07
THE ANGEL OF MY HEART.

When the twilight gathers lonely, and sit
As the iiicSerIna freight chases the shadows
round the room,
There often comes 20 meet me, from the land
where fancies start,
A sweet and blessed presence the Angel Of
my Heart
She comes aud Is beside me- and l take her
And my pulses thrill and gladden. with love
that seems divine, 80,
As ! clasp her close and hold her till the
world slips out of sight,
And hand aud hand together we walk the
realms of light
Then whatever is the falrest in this poor heart
As bees extract the honey from the roses
She draws with gentle glances, that lead mo
To follow in her Footsteps through the path
way of the air.
Wherever crime is rampant, wherever pain
and woe
Lift up the heads of suffering with the look
that all men know,
She bids me bend and soothe them, she bids
me wipe Their tears,
And gather up the stitches CT the raveled web
OF years.
To weave them in garment tnat ID Wnole
some, far and pure,
With the strength there Is in hoping and the
patience to endure.
And Oft when most / need her, when my path
seems oVergrown
With the foil es and temptation that my way
ward lie has known,
And ! long with ceaseless longlngs for the
Joys that once wero mine
Oh, then, In gentle pity can feel her glances
shine
Upon my bended spirit, aud rise refreshed
TO sat
Iwrl he strong and faithful howe'er so dark
the way.
o rare and radiant Angel, / know thou'rt but
dream,
And vet so real and potent do thy ministra'
tons seem,
That when across the river with old Charon
shall 90.
] shall look 10 see thee standing against the
mornings glow!
And there the first TO greet me, the first "a
take my hand
And lead me through the pastures OF tina,
sweet aud pc lccfu land
With q blissful sense of rapture that we never
more need part,
Birch Arnold, in Current
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1886-04-07
CHAPTER ",

London was IN commotion; nothing
was talked Of in its gay circles but the
young and lovely bride, Mrs Dal-
rymple. Peers were going mad for her
smiles; peeresses condescended to court
them; commoners and commonesses,
who could not get near, affected to hold
themselves Indifferent, but they scarce
ly made concealmcnt Of the fact that
the grapes were sour. Panics do some
times come over the fashionable world
of this great metropolis; now 1t is a
rage for speculation, like that railway
mania, which once turned peoples
sober senses upside down; now II is the
new and very ugly signora, who Is rul-
ing the boards and the boxes at Her
Majesty's Theater; now II is an insane
sympathy - insane in the working
with all the black Uncles and Aunt
Toms in the other hemisphere; but at
the time of which we are writing, it
was the admiration Of one Of them
selves, n woman, the beautiful Mrs.
Dalrymple.
She was charming; not because
fashion said it, but that she really was.
Naturally fascinating in person, the
homage she received in the gay world
"a new world TO her-rendered her
manners irresistibly 80. Some good
wives, staid and plain, who had never
been guilty OF courting look in theii
lives, and prided themselves on 1t
avowed privately 10 their lords that shC
laid herself out for admiration, and
was a compound Of vanity and danger
and the lords nodded grave approval
and, the moment they could get out o
sight, went tearing in the wake afte
Mrs. Dalrymple. ....
A stylish vehicle, something betweei
break and a dandy-horse, with TIVE
stylish men in 1t, especially in the ex
tent OF their mustaches, was driving
down Regent street. He who held tn
reins, Captain Stanley, was attending
far more TO some object at q distanc
than to his horse; his head was raise,
perpendicularly, as II an iron poke
had been thrust down his throat, an,
his eyes were intently fixed fur befor
him. A street cab whirled suddenl
round the corner Of Argyle place; CAP
tain Stanley was too absorbed TO ayoi
II, and the two came In contact.
No damage was done. All that cam
Of Il was a wordy war; for the cat
mans abuse was unlimited, and Car
tain Stanley given TO angry explosions
He concluded by promising o summon
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1886-04-07
TOUGH BEEF.


How TO Foed for Best Results and sweet
Tender Meat.
The question is often raised: What
makes meat toughP A contemporary
lately stated that "the toughest and
most tasteless meat is that Of two
year-old steer fed fat from calfhood and
then allowed to shrink in transit to
market" Tasteless it undoubtedly
would be, since the loss would be in the
juices and fatty matter deposited be.
tween the fibers of muscle. 1t is well
known that a thin animal is always
tough, comparatively, and according
TO age. and for the reason before
stated The muscles are not filled
with the fluids that render them readi-
ly disintegrable. For the same reason
an animal thin in flesh, unless very
old. IL quickly fattened, will be juicy
and tender; that is, the muscle will be
fat and juicy rather than lean and dry.
But the mistake should not be made
as between firm flesh and that which
Is tough. Where the animal is fully
fed from birth until killed, whatever
the age, the flesh will be firm, but not
tough; but the longer it is kept the
firmer the flesh will be. II kept up TO
that trim when it can no longer be
made to gain steadily then the flesh
will become really tough, and in this
sense an animal arrived at full
maturity and allowed to shrink be-
comes tough in the true sense OF the
word. The shrinkage Of such an ami
NAL is also inevitable in transit, since
so good conditions Of ease and feed
ing can not be given as when
at home. This is also approx
mately correct in all highly-fat-
tened animals, whatever their age.
The most juicy, firm-Aeshed and ten
der beef is that killed where fed and
then transported in refrigerator cars.
IL is also the most healthful TO eat,
since fever and other disorganizing in
fluences are constantly at work from
the time the animal leaves the stall OF
pasture until killed. The most juicy
and palatable beef is that which has
been well wintered and then quickly
fattened on flush, succulent pasture,
killed and shipped dead in proper cars,
The worst meat is that transported
from the Far West thousands Of milet
to Atlantic cities or to Europe alive,
And yet railways seem determined tc
continue TO discriminate in favor oi
carrying live animals instead Of dead
meat. The reason is probably busi
ness one not difficult to guess. - Chicago
Tribune. .D.9 "
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1886-04-07

Fashionable young men who are
not afraid OF their creditors now have
their place Of residence engraved on
their visiting cards. Nobody knows
why this Is thus, unless the poor
creatures are afraid they may drop
down in fit, and, as they look and
dress precisely alike, the cabby might
not carry them 70 the right abode.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1886-04-07

"Yes, Alice. / have been resolving
on it, now, as we were talking"
at is the only plan," returned Os.
car, looking at Mrs. Dalrymple. "He
may listen to YOU"
II will go-to-morrow is Sunday
the first thing on Monday morning.
You must accompany me, Oscar"
IF you wish it, will"
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1886-04-07
WESTEESN
Medical DispensarY.
DIR. SLEE,
S25 Superior ST., Cleveland O., Opposite Case Hall.

malignant Blood
Salt Rheum Syphilis Rheumatism Em Canker the Mouth,
Kidney Bladder
Consumption of the Lungs, Heart Disease Dyspepsia,
Organa Weakness Nervous Debility Structure and Varcocee
Ogana
nosy stem II perfected as this
oRGANAL WEAKNESS Is THE CAUSE OF INSANITY
Persons who discover of the alarming symptoms such
lightning eyd
the
rms hands.
process detecting enables
Every cordially invited call and DR.. hi
hesitation stating
| Address all communications, with for reply,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

A VERY distressing accident oc-
Cured at Barneveld during the cele-
bration on the Sd inst. A horse
race being in progress, Mr. Archie
Lynn, Of that village was locker
on. two of the horses had passed
whore he stood, and were speeding
aw..y finely toward the goal. Mr..
LYNN was watching them. A third
horse in the race, which had acted
badly, was coming at terrific speed,
hnt some distance in the rear. Mr.,
LYNN was turned 80 he did not see
the third horse. Just near the place
where he stood the horse bolted, ran
upon him sending him with great
violence to the ground. The fall
broke Mr. Lynn's sboulder-blade and
inflicted other injuries, He was
Knocked Unconscious, but after a
time recovered. lie now lies almost
speechless at his home OdgeriHe
SIN.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

We would caution the Public to beware of
dealers Offering Kemps Balsam at less thou
the regular price, soc and 81, as bflentimes
limitations or inferior articles are sold as The
genuine IN ordcrto enable them 10 sell cheaply
G r Motiett is our agent for Mineral Point
sample bottle gIgen % Won frec
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

READY made clothing for every
man and boy that may call at Sun
dry, Gray * Co.'s.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15
Linden Locals

at the adjourned annual school
meeting in Dist. No. I, on Saturday
last, O. G. Barrett was re-elected
director. Ajax Of $1,000 was voted
for school purposes, and it was de-
oided 10 have eight months school
Che ensuing year, with an assistant
teacher for six months in the higher
Department.
viii James, G.. VI. Wearing, Tom
my lnghram and John L. IIeathcock
returned home from Iron Mt, Mich
igan, last Wednesday.
Mr. Cyrus Hicks left for Colorado
on Tuesday last TO look after his
Ginning interests. He has been at
nome for some time recuperating
from the effects Of an injury sus-
tanned in the mines, but We are glad
20 state that hcis almost well again
There will be mo- services in the
NJ T.. church for two or three sun
day MS The building is undergoing
Some much needed repair The
wmk of painting the walls and
papcriug the ceiling is under the
supervision Of Mr. lIaukius, Of Min
ctal Point.
We were panied to learn of the
death Of an old schoolmlto and
payiciIow, VIM. Loar, Of Colorado.
Iuc news reached n. through q pri-
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15
Rucklens Arnicn SnIrn

Tue BEST SAIvE in the world for c...
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, salt Rheum T e.s
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands. CbiliIaisstI
Coms, and all Skin Eruptious, and posi 9'1s
cures Piles, or no pay required. II Is o,5,,l.i
teed to give perfect satisfaction, Or none ~
funded; Price % cents per box. For SAID a..
G.. K. MoHe.t oy
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

CARPETS. Carpets! new designs
and patterns, at g., G. Il Co.'s.
Away down. Come early and yet a
good selection,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15
w. l.. TaiIu,an.

physician A.D SURGEON, Mineral Point Wis
once n Graber'- block. Might calls answered
al office Office hours, u 20 2 A. ~. and To 4 p
NJ. Saturdays. at nome all day.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

81. PAUL'S llrShl .........J. O'EEETE, Pastor
SUNDAY services, High Mass M 10000, 4. NJ
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

II UDSON ENDAMPMENT No. 33, DOE;
! meets the "a and 9Th TUESDAYS of each
month"; Pumrchs visiting the city are invited.
=. G.. THOMAS n. TREwEEK.
scribe. Chief IurHTCh
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-07-15

A TTORNEYS AND CnUNSELLORS. Office ii
y First National Bank. Mineral Point, Wisconsin