New-York tribune., 1886-07-07
The T5LK or TIE DAY.

There were 1242 divorces in Paris in 1895. OF which
All were pronounced against the wife, s04 against the
husband, and 81 against both husband and wife.
Tho only dead sure thing about the Aqueduct al
| present is death among the laborers.
Old bachelor to proud young mother-Does your baby
waiki Young mother-O' indeed he does he nas
been walking for three months. Old bacn refecuvey-
Three months He must have travelled long wa! DY
this time Burlington Free Press.
Says the sarcastic Salt Lake civ Tribune: Eastern
journals are distressed at the disappearance of
the buffalo. The writers Of tho lamentations for Dos
Ane,1cdnus never buffalo they never expect TO
tney have idea IN the world why the Duna
oes should be destroyed they have no possible In
terest in the question yet they are perpetuay regret
ting the disappearance OF the buffalo 1t would puzzle
them to tell anything the buffalo is good for still less
could they explain how the country TO be Inhabited
by whites and the buffalo remain all they are con-
scious OF a sort Of lackess yearning for something
they tknow what. and buffalo strikes their fancy
| The Rev. S. W. Wesley the only and genuine cowboy
evangelist describes himself as barrel Of dust and
"a bag OF wind" and Judging from his utterances the
description IS very In recent "sermon" he
referred to tho whining old whelps who have been hit
with some Of my gospel rocks" In this Mr. Wesley Is
| inaccurate. He throws more dirt than rocks.
Papa where the logs r. asked little girl whose
father had taken her the House Of
"Ihe log. r. he replied interrosatIvely.
"Yes. want to see them roll,
"Why, heard you say there good deal of log
rolrg done In Congress, ana wanted 10 SEQ
burg Chronice-Ielegraph'
While admitting that Chicago has literary atmos
nhere The Day Neics OF that otherwise fautess town
saws that IL has robust lake breeze which by careful
culture eventually be emperet into literary at
mospnere. Here lies Miss Rose Elizabeth Clevelands
opportunity. Chicago viii raise the wind for her II she
will turn 1t into literature
Some men are consttutionay unable to give an order
| tsh-b fOr
ton and suppose no one wouli DC esiDle 70 luii
membershp OF the fraternity OF mugwumps who should
conIescend 10 state his opinions wishes in language
understandable by common mortas 80 tue announce
ment of intent to vote the Democratic ticket is deve
on,d into an apostrophe American Eagle repre-
s,nted be bearing aloft the star spange banner ana
hoyerng over the Goddess Of Liberty. who Is smiling
benignly upon George William Curtis and Dr. William
Everett (son Of EdwsrD while these gentlemen grace
Iv reclie their well worn plattu1es. I Ia simply the
poetic form OF saying. Long live the Democratic par
ty!"-[Proydence star
There ia house in a Connecticut town on which there
has been $50 mortgage for eighty-one years. and the
annual interest 1t has been regularly paid
Tbere does not appear be any truth In the report
that Mr. Roswell z. Flower would like to bury some
Democrats with the wires. MI. Flower very for
giving man. ana cherlsnes grudgcs Besides 1888 is
not so far off,
Grammarian. Old Pete's boy had just returned from
school In relating an incident to his father. lie sald
ergn." {" | say that saw ths man and " ioI on ~
Yer de man, shi" "Yes; sn SIR" % saw a himi"
the old man said, " de mo- yer sends er niggar ter
suHo" de wns ss He.h lat boys been going tor
school nearly years aud now he come an dat he
So r or man All, Lawd, dar amt us try'n larn
'stronomy ter er nggcr. Why doan L seed er
cinermaii,' sahl" " Because that wouldn't be right
"Nrryy" speaking to his wife, han me dat plough
linz Eamc ef he shall slaughter his mudder tongue In
mo sch er way On, beat all de schools III Parnin
YER suthin.' ~ Arkansaw Traveller.
The general eXtravagance of the students OF Harvard
University Is being commented on. In the matter OF
,r,vers however they have shown very economical
disposition.
"What ia your opinion OF the Bacon nShakes peare
troysrsy T. Senator Hearst was asked.
WHAT'S IL bout Z 'Nuther one OF SPARKS rulings T.
on no! It's "a literary dispute. They say that
Bacon wrote shakespeares plays. what do you think
oft p
Always SOME fuss about who writes things Why, It
was only the other day that see something about who
wrote Beautiful Snow And now here's another hull
laballoo ~ Washington Hatchet