davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
A Story of StOrrs.

Eyes, the late Emery A. Storrs was a
character, sure enough remarked an
attorney who had grown gray in the
service. ''Many anecdotes have been
told of his wonderful talent for word
painting and gift of repartee, but moth
ing | have ever heard quite equaled the
effect on me of a little speech he made
the first time | saw him, full score of
years ago. He represented the plaintiff
in some commonplace action, and the
lawyer for the defendant was young
man just branching out. The suit,
think. was for breach of contract, or
something similar. The budding attor-
ney, who shall be nameless here, was
well aware of Storrs' ability, and ac-
cordingly prepared his case with the
greatest care. After the evidence had
all been heard he stood before the jury
and delivered a memorized speech,
which was about 200 degrees higher
than the subject Storrs followed him
and said:
8 If the court pleases, gentleman of
the jury: | am sure that | voice the COM
mon sentiment of US all-Judge, jurors,
spectators-whenI | say that the address
of the gentleman who has just spoken
has been to us a great delight L have
Hkened it in my own mind to some
great editice-some magnificent work OF
architecture. But l am puzzled to de-
termine the particular school to which
it belongs. 1t is not Doric; it is too
ornate for that. 1t is not Corinthian; it
is not ornate enough for that. 1t is not
Ionic; it is too strong and massive to be
Ionic Ar tb1S n1nnpnt Cnntlp-
men, a story comes to my memory that
solves the problem. You all remember
the old gray church-the Second Pres
byteran, Dr. Patterson s-which used
to stand on the corner Of Wabash
avenue and Washington street. 1t was
a beautiful editice, with its masonry OF
gray. its great decorated windows, its
castellated towers. One day an old
man and his wife came for the first time
from their country home to see this
great city; they walked up and down
and marveled as they saw the busy
streets. the Courthouse, the stores, the
warehouses on the river, and finally
they stood before the old gray church
Arms akimbo they gazed upon it in 81
lent awe; but then the old gentleman,
turning one eve on his wife and holding
the editice fast by the other, said: MAN
cy, what a splendid specimen of cathartic
architecturer
The jury was convulsed, the effect
of the other speech utterly destroyed,
and Storrs won his case. "
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
Cleveland and Autograph Collec-
tors.

An INDIANAPOLIS Journal correspond
ent at Washington writes: A person
outside of Washington has no idea of
the immense amount of time the Presi-
dent and his cabinet are compelled to
waste almost daily in writing autographs.
The senators are comparatively free
from this nuisance, when one compares
the requests made of the President and
his cabinet 1t is almost system, the
making of autographs at the White
House, and the President has been COM
PEELED to adopt some method, or other
wise he would have to refuse the re-
quests altogether, or else be interrupted
every hour The doorkeeper at the
eabinet-room is made the custodian of
all autograph books sent to the White
House. He piles these dainty little vol
umes on shelf on his big desk and lets
them rest there until about five o'clock
in the afternoon, when he opens each
one at the proper page and then carries
the pile to the library for Cleveland in
spection. The President rarely looks
over the books, but takes up pen and
dashes off his name in a rapid manner
and passes to the next. Then the door
keeper carries the pile away The Presi-
dent generally, during this hour, writes
off number of autographs on small
cards. with the words executive man
sion'' printed on one corner. These are
sent away by mail in answer to the
hundreds of requests that come through
Uncle Sans carrier. Some one suggest
ed to the President that he let one of his
clerks write his autographs, but he re-
piled: Il am still able to use my right
hand and arm, and it does not take
long to sign my name" So the change
was never suggested again.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
COnundrunS.

People are tired of conundrums; in
fact, conundrums may be said to be en-
tirely out of date; therefore this new
system will be ''as welcome as the flow
ers that bloom in the spring" The
idea is to PROFOUND the answer to a
conundrum and let the sufferer guess
the question, so to speak. For example,
here are some answers to conundrums:
Because one is isinglass and the other is
glass in eyes; because they NEW till late
multilate); one is a barn-door and the
other is darn bore; because he meta
physician; one earns MS living and the
other urns his dead; because he missed
his strain Crain); one hates the book and
the other bats the hook; because it is a
boy caught (boycott) because he favors
a free ballot and a full count. We are
not offering prizes for the correct ques-
tions to these answers; we merely make
the suggestion to vary the monotony of
the almanac and minstrel conundrums
long endured by patient public
CHICAGO Rambler
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
DRIVE-WHIST.
A Game that is Taking the Place of Pro
gressive Euchre.

Drive-whist is raging in the East as
progressive euchre ragged in the West
last season. 1t has been introduced in
Il limited number of Detroit homes by
ladies and gentlemen, who practiced it
While visiting Boston. New York. and
Philadelphia friends. Drive-whist is
not very unlike progressive euchre in
its general form ANY number of tables
may be brought into the game; one
hand is played, and then the couple
change tables, advancing in rotation,
as in progressive euchre; only in drive
whist the same partner is kept through
out the evening. Then, again, it is
more social, because each couple must
in the course of the evening meet with
and play every other couple in the room.
unless. of course there are more couples
than there are hands played; but, as it
is possible to play from thirty to thirty
live hands between the hours of and
1880 o'clock, the last contingency is
not likely to arise. Players assert that
the game is very fascinating.
To play drive-whist, the host or
hostess must procure score cards in
sufficient number so as to provide each
couple with one These score cards are
made like dancing programmes to be
fastened by cord, and give a space at
the top for the lady's name and address,
and opposite, the gentleman's name
whose partner she is. Below the card
Is ruled in spaces so that there is one
column for points won, another for
points lost, and third for the names of
your opponents. The manner of choos-
ing partners for the evening is left to
the ingenuity of the hostess, and differ
ent ways are adopted Ore is to write
the gentlemen's names on the score
cards Zone name on each card) and then
let the ladies draw one card each.
When partners are once selected they
are kept throughout the evening" The
cards are dealt and one hand is played.
AT the end one couple at each table has
won number Of points and the other
couple has lost. The gentlemen then
make record. each on his own card, of
the points won or lost, with the names
of the other couple. The losing couple
at the table then change places, each
going to the next table, and the losing
couple at the head table going to the
vacant place at the foot. Another hand
IS dealt and played, another record
made, another change of positions fol-
lows, and the game goes on. At the
close of the game, when the number of
hands previously decided upon have
been played, each couple adds together
all the points won and all lost, and this
determines the difference. The couple
that has won the greatest number of
points is entitled to the head prize and
the couple that has lost the greatest
number of points gets the foot prize.
The prizes are provided by the host or
hostess, or if a club meets to play it pro-
cures prizes from its club fund for that
purpose. The score cards are given to
the ladies at the completion of the game.
N Y WO,.II
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
The Evergreen Pine.


Oh. valiant tree is the evergreen pine,
That grows on the bleak mountain side;
Not a fear does il feel of the wind or the
storm,
AS it stands like king in its pride.
The Ightnings may flash round its tall wav
ing crest,
And the wind mid its branches may rave:
But it STANDS in its strength like lion at bay,
Or a hero, who'll ne'er be a slave.
Oh, a sorrowful tree is the evergreen pine
That grows in the sweet smiling vale,
1t murInurs forever low. plaintive song
That resembles a 'lorn lovers wall.
1t stretches its strong, shady branches abroad
And it signs to the flowers below,
And il tells of the sorrow corroding its heart
To the breeZes that merrily blow.
Oh. beautiful tree is the evergreen pine
That grows on the hills sloping side;
1t shelters the woodbird, gives shade to the
deer
And makes cheerful our house, far and
wide.
Then honored and loved be the evergreen
pine
That fears neither lightning nor gale.
And cherished still more be the sorrOwful tree
That signs in the sweet smiling vale.
NJ j. RiOrda1.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
The Shamrock.


1t is related that when ST Patrick
landed in Ireland 'in the fifth century,
having overcome the hostility of the
savage islanders, he proceeded to in
struct them in the doctrines of Christiani-
ty. But in vain did he endeavor to ex-
plain to them the doctrine of the
trinity in unity. His untutored hear
ers failed to comprehend his reasoning
till, plucl.ing a trefoil to serve as an il
lustration, he inquired of them: ''Is it
not as possible for the Father, Son, and
Holy Ghost as for these three leaves to
grow upon single stalk?" This argu-
ment, according to the legend, im1ne-
diately convinced the Irish, who yielded
to St. Patrick 5 efforts for their CONVEX
sion. The shamrock was thenceforth
dedicated to the saint and became the
national cognizance. 1t is sOmcwat un-
fortunate that this pretty story is not to
be found in the lives of the great saints
of Ireland but it is stlll more unfortu-
nate that it is again Impossible to deter
mine which is the true shamrock. Ac-
cording to the best authorities. however,
the honor Is due to the Black Nosuch or
Medicago or TO the Dutch clover. Both
these plants are worn st. Patrick s-Day
and are help to the true shamrock
Chambers Journal.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
She Cherished No AnimoSity.

A remarkable case of woman's con-
slant love was brought to light in this
city recently. A young mana hard
working young man, by the way, and
one whose time is too much taken up in
nobly earning his bread and butter by
the sweat of his brow to indulge excess
sively in the vagaries OF jealousy and
retributive spite-differed with. his wife
in certain matters affecting domestic
felicity. This matter-of-fact young man,
instead of flying into passion and ap-
pearing in an unenviable light in the
Police Court quietly proceeded to get
divorce. He got it. Time passed on,
and after while the young mans affec-
tions joined hands with the affections of
a young lady of this city. They en-
gagged themselves to marry. The di
vorced wife heard of il. She offered to
superIntend the arrangements for the
approaching wedding. and the offer
was accepted. The room in which the
ceremony took place was decorated with
evergreens by her hands, and with for
get-me-nots and other tenderly express
sive flowers. But she did not stop at
that point. The witnesses to the cere-
mony were surprised to see her acting
as bridemaid and subsequently wishing
the couple a happy, prosperous and pure
journey through life.-Stockton (Cdt)
Mail
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

she beats hasty retreat, but rushes in
to the arms of old Mr.. Delmarre, who,
holding her tightly, marches into the
room.
whats up now?n he exclaims with
a smile that has become quite common
to him during Llew's stay.
When Phils explanation is given he
says to Lew.
80 I'm not to lose you after all? L
had quite decided to ask you to remain
here. if this scamp didn't" nodding
toward Phil, ''for You have become quite
indispensable to-the family.
Then. taking the hand of the con-
fused girl, he placed it in Pills and
gently pushed them from the room.
From there they 60 into the little
garden.
Here we will pause for lack of space
and leave our readers to imagine what
took place in tt garden.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
A MerCiful Man.

''The merciful man is merciful to his
beast" Yet how many farmers, and
especially farmers boys, after heating
team in driving to the village, think no
thing of letting them stand about the
streets for hours at time, perhaps with
not even a blanket, while they are gos-
siping near warm stove or taking ex-
ercise about their ordinary business.
A citizen of Kalamazoo, Mich, got
happy thought and, being humane
man, acted on it. Noticing the exposure
of teams coming to the city, especially
in cold and stormy weather, he deter
mined to give farmers an opportunity to
make their horses comfortable during
their stay. He purchased land just off
the principal street and proceeded with
his undertaking. He was made the sub
ject of many jokes from all quarters for
his ''foolish enterprise but he went on
and carried out his plan, and to-day
there is nothing in Kalamazoo so popu-
lar with country people coming to the
city on business as the farmers sheds.
They are described as follows:
On the right is waiting-roOm, well-fur-
nished and comfortably warmed, supplied
with hooks for Overcoats and hats and ward
robes, and apartments Tor lddl6S wraps, III
another room are tables and restaurant;
as you pass into the yard is tank of water
for horses. You drive up TO the platform of
the waiting-room, you and your ladies
alight by simply stepping on the platform;
you hand dime to an attendant hoStler
and he takes your horse and buggy to an
empty stall to stand until you call giving him
all needed attention. Give two dimes, and
your horse is not only attended to but fed.
In either case you are entitled to the privi-
legeS of the waiting-room, which includes
tables where you may partake of your own
lunch, free, or for a low rate you have as
ample a bill of fare to choose from as you
may desire When you choose you and
yours go out on the street, transact your
business, do all your errandS, and return to
the shed watingroom.
Sundays these sheds are filled. Ladies
arrange their toilets, leave their extra
wraps, and on their return from church
they take a warm soapstone, get thor
oughly warm, and find it much pleas
anter than formerly, before these sheds
were offered. A portion of these sheds
have doors and locks, so if man comes
in and desires perfect safety from thieves
he can have it. Why should not all
principal villages have those humane
helps to the comfort of farmers horsesP
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
He Wanted a Canal Dug.


A few days ago an old chap from
northern Michigan paid visit to Bos-
ton for the purpose of organizing COM
pany TO dig ship canal from the head
of Saginaw Bay to Pentwater, straight
across the State of Michigan. He came
over to New York in deep disgust,
and when asked how his project got
along, be replied: I'm going home.
You eastern folks are no good any more.
That ere canal could be dug for S27,-
100000. I'd agree to act as president
of the company for $4,000 a year. We
could raise $4,000 worth of celery
along the banks every season. Eve got
five sons who'd act as bosses for $4,000
apiece year, We could cut $4,000
worth of ice every winter, and we could
raise $75, 900 worth of geese and ducks
every summer. But nobody'll take hold.
Don't seem to be any backbone down
this Wall Street Nea0s.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

The time-honored story of Goldsmith's
arrest by his landlady and Johnson's
sale of the Vicar of Wakefield seems
to be in some danger. 1t is impossible
that this account, received from John
son himself, should not be substantially
true; yet in his introduction to Mr..
Stocks new fac-simile of the first edi-
ton Austin Dobson shows that it will
have to be reconciled with certain in.
convenient facts. He proves that the
book, as early as Oct. %, 1862, became
the property of three persons, one OF
whom was Benjamin Collins, the Sails
bury printer. This relieves Mrs. Flem-
ing, Goldsmith's Islington landlady,
from her traditional reputation for
asperity, as Goldsmith at that date had
not gone to Islington; and it fixes some
time anterior to October, 1862. for the
composition of the book-a point hither-
to obscure. Mr. Dobson also gives
much new information as to the first
publication of the Vicar" and shows
that lis early popularity and. sale were
by 10 means SO great as generally sup
posed.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

VISITATION OF PROVIDENCE They
were talking of puns. She said "When
man made pun he was always proud
of it; but when a woman made one she
had the grace to be ashamed of it."
He said: "Woman was Justly ashamed
of her puns, for they were invariably
wretched. A woman could semi annually
make good pun, but she had to put her
whole mind to it, and sometimes sit up
all night to make it work smoothly,
while men could always make first class
puns off hand.
She said: cit was no such thing.
She could make as good pun on any
word as fast as any horrd man"
"Well," said the skeptical wretch.
make pun on horseshoe.
off you talk until you're horseshoe
can't convince me, said the feeble mind
ed woman.
And he died. Plata, Col. Miner.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

GEN. Sheridan was once halted by G.
NJ. Woodward, OF Wisconsin, when the
latter was "high private i'll the army
of the Potomac and Oh picket duty. A
man on horseback came along and he
greeted him with the proper salutatien:
"Who goes there?" ga friend" was the
reply. Advance, friend, and give the
countersign' said the young private.
81 am Gen. Sheridan, said the horse
man. Woodward gave him TO under
stand that he didn't care if it was Gen.
Sheridan; that he wanted the counter
sign, and he brought the hayonet into
close proximity to the generals person
and demanded the proper answer.
Sheridan smiled, gave it to him and, as
he rode away, turned to remark:
young man, there's a regiment of in
fantry coming Just behind me. Don't
molest EN-"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
New Barber Shop.

TIE undersigned has opened a barber shop on
South Eighth street, opposite Manheimers
cigar store, and Is prepared to serve the public
in the Best manner. Ladies and childrens hair
cutting and curling ooae in the latest style. in
private apartments. Patronage is Respectfully
solicited. \. B. REDNER.
n. B.-Corns, bunions and in-growing nails
emoved without pain. 24sepS5
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
THOUSANDS SAY SO.

Mr.. t. w. Atkins, Girard, Kan., writes:
ST never hesitate to recommend your
Electric Bitters to my customers, they
give entire satisfaction and are rapid
sellers Electric Bitters are the purest
and best medicine known and will posi-
lively cure Kidney and liver complaints.
Purify the blood and regulate the bowels.
No family can afford to be without them.
They will save hundreds of dollars in
doctors bills every year. Sold at fifty
cents bottle by 81. Hinrichs. 8
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

Aunt Maria was not a great favorite
with the children, and an invitation
that she brought one morning in person
for one of the boys to 90 back with her
and spend the day at the farm did not
meet with an over-enthusiastic reception
from any of those young worthless I'm
thinking that I'd better 60" confded
VIII, in an undertone, to his younger
brothers. 80, yes, 60 on" said Dwight
encouragingly; perhaps the pig viii
get loose, and then you'll have first
rate time. '-Harper'S Bazaar
A student at the University of Texas,
whose home is at Brenham, was about
to start home to enjoy the Christmas
holidays. 4 friend remarked: You
haven't got your watch on. You ought
not to 90 home without YOU timepiece. >
.'What do | want watch for at Bren-
ham? There isn't pawn5roker shop
in the town. ."-Ieras Syttngs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

A few days ago heated lamp CHM
ney in a New York elevated railway car
snapped into twenty pieces or more,
which fell upon the seats below For
tunatelv there was but one passenger
within range of them, and nc damage
was done. Not manv months ago, at
the Union League Club ladies RECEIPT
ion, piece of carbon, heated to white
heat and about as large as pea, fell
upon the white silk dress of a lady guest
who was walking beneath the electric
light. Had it fallen second sooner it
would have burned her shoulder fright
fully. Electricity has its dangers as
well as .advanta oes.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
THE CHAMPION LEGAL STORY.

st. Petersburg paper vouches ior the
truth of legal story which quite comes
up to anything of the kind yielded by our
own courts of law. A man found him
self just recently in the prisoners dock
on third charge of theft His advocate,
young man, made long speech to the
jury in defense, and towards the close
spoke as follows: "Now, gentlemen of the
jury, let us go into the depths of history;
let US go back 5000 years" 'I must
ask you to keep to the subject" inter
posed the Judge. "Then we will go but
5000 years back, ;" continued the lawyer,
land we see without doubt" Another
reminder from the bench. "Good, we
will go back 1000 years; or, no--since it
is forbidden to appeal to history, let us
turn to geography. In the Sandwich
Islands, gentlemen-" A third call to
order. Every well, was the advocates
response; sin the islands lying nearer
to us, as Madeira, there exists a long
observed and very honorable CUSTOM
''Mr Advocate" interrupted the Judge
again, 81 speak to you for the last time.
If you talk again of things which have
nothing to do with the case shall refuse
to hear you any longer" 81 protest
against an infringement of the rights Of
the Defense" was the unabasLed reply,
''and | request that my protest may be
taken note OF" Then turning once more
to the jury, he added, "Since gentlemen,
[ may appeal to neither history nor geog-
rapby, l will only remind you of the
custom of the court of this district in
case of third thief. This court has the
praiseworthy custom of acQuittinC the
defendants In such cases, and therefore,
do not see why you should not let my
client go free" How the case ended is
not said, but it wiR be pity if the pris-
oner did not get off.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04
Bucklin's Amica Salye.

THE BEST SALvE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,
and positively cures Piless, or no pay
required. 1t is guaranteed to give per-
feet satisfaction of money refunded
Price 25 cents per box. For sale by FL.
Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-03-04

KALAMAZOO, Mich, Feb. 24.-A re-
maikable gun, one that renders armor-
plated ships Of about as little protection
as wood, has just been tested here. The
first trial was made with the smallest
gun, which burst. The second trial,
with 55-caliber gun was more successful,
sendiuga2b inch steel bali through solid
sheet plate 1 5 l6 thick imbedding the
bail eighteen inches in very hard wood.
La the third trial 73inch ball was used,
and the target composed of fourteen
thicknesses of boiler plate, g. inches,
firmly attached to an oak log, was per-
forated, the ball penetrating the log o.
distance of four feet, the passage through
the iron and steel being perfectly smooth.
There is but slight recoil. In this pow
erful gun the powder is so we'll used that
the entire power is concentrated on the
projectiIe. Two pounds of powder are
used in the heaviest test. The inventor
claims this gun will send ball fifteen
miles.