Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-10-21
AN UNFORTUNATE FAMILY.
They Live in Baltimore, and the Head OF the
House seems to Be a Cranck.
Baltimore News

There are a good many queer people IN
this world. Just at present Baltimore
contains as odd a parsonage as Charles
Dickens's Mr.. Dick. He Is a bookkeeper
who runs his house by rules. A reporter
of the News recently visited his resi-
dence PIacards of rules were placed in
every room for the guidance of it's occu-
pants, and for their violation sundry pen
aIties are provided. In the hall the fol-
lowing rules were posted, the placard be-
ing wedged in the crevices of the mirror
in the hat rack
Please hang your hat up.
Please wipe your feet.
+ Please do not take away our umbrellas.
Please put your umbrella in the rack
Enter the parlor by the first door to the
left,
In the parlOr he found a similar poster.
1t was fastened to the shade of droplight.
and at night its lettering was brought in
& CONSPICUOUS prominence by the light I'M
der it. The placard read thus:
Please do not soil the photograph
album.
Please do not finger the oil paintings
to see if they are genuine, for they are.
Please do not touch the mineral specl-
mems on the side table.
Please do not move your chair from
the position it now occupies.
Please close the piano after using it
and put the music where you found it. If
you found it out of its place put it where
it belongs.
No visitors entertained in this parIOr
before 2 p. NJ and between the hours of
and 8 p. M. and after 1917 p. NJ. Any
visitor calling at any hour when no enter
tainment is allowed will be compelled to
await the arrival of the hour when some
member of the family is permitted to enter.
Young men will please observe the rule
that no visitors are entertained after 1917
2. M.
Members of this family are prohibited
from occupying this parlor except to en-
terrain company.
The rules are rough on visitors, but
reporter learned from a regular visitor to
one of the young ladies of the house that
they are rigidly enforced. Suspended
from a chandler which overhangs the
dining table in the dining room was
pIacard which read thus:
Please take your time in eating.
Please replace the different articles In
the casters.
Please dc not place your elbows on the
table.
Please eat with your fork.
In the kitchen the servant girl kept
such close watch upon the reporter that
he could not copy the rules he saw over the
dresser. He got few furtiye chances at
them. They were very long, and outlined
in detail the cooks duties, such as the
amount of salt, pepper, and other cOndi-
ments to be placed in certain articles of
+hn M
biscuits and roofs for each meal, when
butter has to be used, &c. There was a
place for every pan and pot, and each was
specified. Even the amount of coal re-
quired for a days use in the kitchen stove
was set down. There was a special in juno
ton that everything was to be kept neat
and clean, and failure to do SO would be
detected by the master of the house, who
would inspect the kitchen every day. The
servant girl was allowed to receive COM
pany on one night each week, and she was
permitted to take Sunday night to herself,
provided she would return by 1917 P. NJ.
Violation of the rules was punishable by
her being kept on duty on Sunday night,
and refused company either for one, two,
or three weeks, as the magnitude of the
offenc emight Justify.
The harshness of the paterfamilias was
brought into full play when he devised the
rules for the bed chamber which his two
daughters occupied. The placard was of
the same pattern as those in the other
rooms throughout the hOuse-twelve inch
es by eight, plain black lettering, sur
rounded by a plain black border. The
placard was suspended by ribbon from
the top of the mirror frame, and the card
covered the top of the glass. 1t was prob
ably placed in that position by the father
to insure its being seen long and often.
Every time that either of those young
ladies ties her bonnet strings, arrane es
her hair, or gazes into the depths of her
blue eyes she cannot help seeing that pla-
card. Any young lady must know how of
ten, then, those rules meet the eyes of the
fair occupants of that room. They read
thus:
My daughters will refrain from using
cosmetics, paints, powder, and other such
stuff on every occasion.
Thight lacing is prohibited.
No conspicuous jewelry must be worn.
Rosewater is the only perfumery per
mitted.
The teeth and nails must be carefully
brushed at least twice day.
The bureau drawers must be kept in
prime order.
No high-heeled or tight-ftting shoes al
lowed.
No garments should be thrown haphaz-
ard on the chairs.
The lights in this room must be extin-
guished at IL o'clock promptly.
1t is unnecessary to add that my daugh-
ters i'll say their prayers before retiring
at night and after rising in the morning.
Similar rules are placarded in the
chamber occupied by the father and
mother. Even the son is not exempt, and
he is told how often to shave and what
kind of cravats to wear.
Messenger of Rescue.