Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-12
BRIGHT BITS.

A MINNESOTA PHOTOGRAPHER went out to
take cyclone ana the cy clone recIprocated
ny taxing NM NO cards.-PhikidekDhia CAL.
AN OLD gentleman of 80 who died recently
was SAID to be Interested in literature. OF
-LoaoeH Cttisen
BYRON SAYS that without hearts there Is no
nome. lie might have added that diamonds
helped out good deal too, or their equivalent
In greenOacks.-D dnsUiGle b eeze.
A RICH RANCHMAN advertis 8 for a wife
we presume he viii be easily accommodated
when girls wed calves every day in the week
lhey Will hardly hesit te H. wed a couple of
thousand beef cattle --Lol0eH Ouisen
TWO EN- rloyes of Barnum's circus have been
dismissed Tor profanity. That is right Circus
empl0 es should never swear. That privi-
lege belongs exclusively to the people who
stay for the concert after the show.-E1-
chdn0e.
"WH ATS the name of your horse?" asked
Jones Of Brown, after he aad driven around
MN MN once or twice on the road. Congress"
F9nny name. What do you call HIM that
for?'' Because he hover passes anything -
Wdshtn0tda CrftiS.i r' 9& Ifi
MD u bfS. MOI
HEAD WAITER-JaD es, see what those two
men want at table 40. !. 4r....
jams treturnthgl say they're not
par jcqtar what they have, e1
Head'W aiter-Wen, give them the regular
dinnef, ehen. - TId.Btt6. -g IF'4
=
OF the resurrection of Lazarus I'm our tag
y0n DON'T see such miracles as that,'' observed
some one mo, should say not" replied
pr AK MEG cal science has mate too much
progress. Genuine Fre'scaJoke
ARE you a phfauthropist. sir:p asked an
oli gentleman OF young man who was dis
trlbutng quantity Il butterscotch to some
little children in Washington square. sam
a what! said the young man. "A philan-
thropistF mo, sir; I'm a dentist. p Puck
AN EXCHANGE argues that distilliug alcohol
cannot be so very bad, since it has been the
Gu tom OF all nations from the earliest
re nrded time. The writer has good case
but while he was about 1t he n uld have said
! goo WORD Tor sin, which dates back to the
hrst man.-BOstOn TRANSCRIPT.
LAwYER-Do you know the witness who
has just st . ,ed down, Mr.. Robinson?
Witness es. sir.
DO you think he would ever tell an I'M
TRUTH" Tel an untruth! Why, that man
would swear 10 New York papers circu-
latlon aihda' 1t. Pitts6urg Chronicle.
Dog FANcIER-wel, mum, have YOU come
to buy another pup?
Miss Plant agenet-No, sir, not exactly.
Mamma wished to knew if you would ex-
change this dog for back-and- white one
tie Is Just as good as new and we are going
INTO hat-mournlng next week. I'd Bits
A GOLD WATCH is a very pretty hing to look
az, out II has ruined many mans memory.
We once knew man who carried a silver
NdtCh lot wears anu Ms memory as QOOt
as anybOd' >, but after he bought a gold
watch he couldn't remember the ii me for Eve
minutes. and his whole time nearly was occu-
pied in consulting his watch. And the worst
thing about IL was that the more neople there
were about him the more treacherous his
memory became Boston TfdAscsiDt.
NLET me tell you a good little story about
young man down our was," said a IL ~own-
vile gentleman the other day. 1.-The hero of
the story wellknown citizen of Tecumseh.
IT, was married not long ag and started on a
>outhera wedding trip. hen the train
stopped at Topeka for dinner a waiter rushed
ont aad began puun ling gong. The voung
man from Teeumsah, thinking it was
tutended for a charvari, rushed
uploto him and exclaimed: ~ .Hoid
on there! How did you fellows down
here get on TO this racket? Stop her! I'll set
'em up for the boys. '"-0mdha Bee.
ETERNAL FITNESS. -
As ilor forsea,
And spinster for tea
A lawyer for tax and soldier for fighting:
baby for noise.
And circus for boys
And typewriter man to do autograph writ
ing.
A banker for chink,
And a printer for ink,
A leopard for spots and wafer for sticking:
Acrack base ball finger.
An opera singer.
A shot gun, a mule, ana a choir for kicking.
Bro KIM Eagle.