The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-03-19
VOL. XXXI---NO. IL.
XARIEIIES

When six young ladies sit down to talk
about dress pattern, small boy with tin
horn is refuge for the weary.
1t is the belief of the Buddhists of Cey-
lon that If woman behaves herself properly
she will eventually become man.
Faith, Pat, are you asleep" 81 am,
| Teddy, fwhat do you want ?" "Och, want
ed to know whether walked we by speakin'"
| st-An Irish officer, giving orders to senti-
mel, commanded him mot to stir foot, but
wald up apd down and see what he could
| hear"
| -"Don't be afraid" said a snob 10 Ger.
| man laborer "Sit down and make yourself
my equal" 81 would half to blow my brains
out" was the reply of the Teuton.
II admit" said the young lawyer, that
| am not very good man; but then, how
could you expect it ofme? It's practice that
makes perfect, you know, and that haven't
got"
-Laziness grows on people it begins in
cobwebs and ends in iron chains. The more
work man has to do the more he is able to
accomplish, for he learns to economic his
time
You can accomplish almost anything
with man ifyou will take the precaution to
1--WE him a good dinner. A man, it will be
observed, resembles horse in this regard
horse is ungovernable until you put bit
in his mouth.
Little Minnie's mother had several times
spanked her for going out into the street.
The other day as the groceryman was leaving
the house, Minnie called to him and said
Tome back an shut the gate" "Why {"
$50 can't get out"
You are arrested" remarked the Judge to
the tramp, "for stealin' an accordion. Are
you guilty?' Eyes, your Honor, admit the
charge" did you steal it to play on it ?"
II did NOT replied the prisoner, in hurt
tone of voice 81 hope your Honor does not
take me for musician"
Washington Irving once said to q lady
friend: Don't teach your daughters so
many things; teach them one thng-teach
them TO be easily pleased" Judging from
the specimens of husbands acquired by num-
erous young ladies too many mothers have
followed Irving's advice.
First Hen-"There comes the woman to
drive us out of the garden" Second Hen
Yes, and she's picking up stone, too Let's
fly out quick ?" First Hen-"No, no; stay
here" Second Hen-"But she's aiming
right for u.s." First Hen-"Yes and if VIC
should move we might get hit"
IL don't know about going bail for you,
Sam. You are bad niger, and ought to
be locked up. You're disgrace to the COM
munity." II knows is, sab. Use bad Mig
gah cherry way. But if you'll go my bail dis
time, boss I'll jump de country tomorrow
mawnn' and nebber come back. Deed I
won't"
Horace Greeiy-He used to tell the story
sent claim to Western at
torney for collection, the attorney to keep
half the amount for his fee. After a time,
Mr.. Greedy received the following note from
the lawyer Dear Sir: | have succeeded
in collecting my half of that claim. The bal
ance is hopeless"
The dome of the Pantheon in Paris, re-
Gently secularized by the government, rests
upon rollers. 1t has been duplicated for an
observatory in Nice. BY an ingenious ar
rangement the latter dome was placed upon
a reservoir of air, which in turn rests upon
water in u circular basin. 1t is so nicely
poised that in spite OF its immense weight,
single person can turn it round.
That is drol story about q fellow on
board an ocean steamer who sat off by HIM
SELF and seemed to be generally sore in his
mind about something He presented such
q forlorn appearance that some ladies on
deck thought they ought to inquire what
was the matter. So one old lady approach.
ed and asked the lonely one why he was so
diseonsolate. The fact is" said he, I'm on
my bridal tour, but l didn't have money
enough to bring my wife with me-"
We CNu give you StCNcu tcIIiplll, SuG-
gested the waiter to countryman who with
his bride, was seated in the dining. room of a
city hotel No" said the countryman,
bring us roast turkey, raw oysters, ice cream
and pie. This is a weddin' tower, mister, an
while it lasts there amt agoin' to be any
stewed dinners nor billed dinners nuthcr-
We can git them at home.
A beautiful form is better than a beautiful
face a beautiful behavior is better than
beautiful form; it gives higher pleasure
than statues or pictures; it is finest of the
fine arts.
The Value Of Knowing How
While Judge Tracy was on the circuit, go
ing from court his trace broke. The Judge
spent over half hour trying to mend it, but
to no purpose. His patience was exhausted,
and he expressed his vexation in words A
negro came along, and the judge told him of
his trouble. The negro let ont the trace, cut
a hole in it, and the job was done.
why" said the Judge, could not have
thought of that"
"Well, marster," said the negro, don't you
know some folks is just naturally smrater
than tothers ?"
rhot,o " 4