davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
The Epidemic of Strikes.

beats all the way desc working
people is strikin'," said the porter
"'pears as if they was never satisfied.
They wants all dey can see, and den
60 kickin' fo' mo-"
That's all right" said a ruddy-
faced passenger, who another man
said was labor agitator; that's all
right porter. Every servant is worth
his hire, or should be. A working
man is entitled to something in this
world besides q bit to eat and place
to sleep. Ifhe doesn't stand up for
his rights nobody will, and the only
thing he can do when he wants an i'm
provement in his condition is to strike.
Strikes are all right, / tell you."
"Guess that's SO, boss /; guess that's
so. Brush you off, sab I? Is this your
hat? All right, sab; rs cents,
please" ~
"Seventy-five cents ?"
eyes, sab we's on strike fo'
higher wages. Seventy-fve cents, or
the sleepin' cab po'tahs will blacklist
an boycott yo'; and then yo' might
as we'll travel in a stock car. Seven
FIVE cents is right, sah-thanks. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
Moved To Tears.

"John !"
eyes, DEAR"
"Do you remember coming heme
last night and asking me to throw
you an assorted lot of key-holes out Of
the window, SO that you might find
one large and steady enough to get
your latch-key in ?"
"Yes, dear" t
"And do you remember the night
before how you asked me to come
down and hold the stone steps still
enough for you to step NJ"
"Yes, dear ?"
"And the night before that how
you tried to jump into the bed as it
passed your corner of the room ?"
Eyes, dear ?"
"And still another night when you
carefully explained to. me that no
man was intoxicated as long as he
could lie down without holding on,
and then attempted to go to bed on a
perpendicular wall 7" - ~ ia't
eyes, dear?" ar
John, do you realize that you have
come home sober but two nights in
the past week p ~
Have !, dear ?"
That's all and you ought to be
ashamed of yourself, too. The idea
of a man of your age. But, John.
why, you're crying. There, there,
there, / didn't mean to be too severe.
After all, you did come home sober
two nights"
eyes, that's what makes me feel so
bad"
And then the meeting adjourned
Chicago Rambler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
What Came of Swallowing Things in
st. Louis.

"Of all the strange things | ever
heard of" said storytelling passen-
ger in the smoking-car, "this beats
them all. | was in East st. Louis
night before last, when one of the
porters brought word downstairs that
one of the guests was sick, suffering
great pain, and wanted a doctor. A
physician was sent for, and several of
us went up to see if we could be of
any service to a fellow traveller in
trouble. We found him suffering
great torture, and the doctor at once
decided to that he would have to per-
form all operation on a big swelling
he found under the mans left arm.
"Four years ago." said the patient,
gasping for breath, 4 swallowed a
pin, and l guess it's now com-oh.com-
ing out under my arm
"The doctor sent for his tools, ask
ed two of us to hold the sufferers
hands, and went to work. In five
minute he drew forth-what do you
think? You all give it up? Well,
I'll tell you what it was 1t was a
rcd-hot poker"
"Impossible!" !" exclaimed all listen.
ers IN one breath; impossible "
"No, it's not impossible replied
the story-teller; sits a fact. Since
swallowing that pin the man had liv-
ed four years in St. Louis, and been a
steady, guzzling, cheap drinker. The
doctor told us that he had had three
similar cases previous to this, and
that so far as he knew St. Louis whis-
ky was the only whisky in this coun.
try producing such wonderful effects. y
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
Cure for Piles.

Piles are frequently preceded by a sense
of weight In the back, loins, and lower
part of the abdomen, causing the patient
to suppose he has some election of the
kidneys or nelghboring organs. At times
symptoms of indigcstions are present
fiatulency, uneasiness of the stomach, etc
A moisture, like Precipitation, producing
a very disagreeable itching, after getting
Bleeding and Itching Piles yield at once
to the application of DIR. Bosanko's Pile
Remedy, which acts directly upon the
parts effected, absorbing the Tumors. al
laying the intense itching, aud efecting q
permanent cure. Price 80 cents Ad-
dress, The DR.. Bosanko Medicine Co.,
Plque, o. Sold by Houk & Perkins and
II. Beebe. 723y1
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

WIT AND HUMOR.

Nothing can excel the beauty of
the tulips in the public garden now
unless it is the two lips of your best
girl.=Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
An Unfortunate Michigander.

DakOta 10 raise money IOr tne nome
stead monument" which it is proposed
to erect at Mitchell. He rode up to
one shack and addressed a man sit
ting in front of it.
"Good morning, my friend"
"G' mornin'."
"Fine day."
oval, nuthin' extra"
"How are times with youi"
"Poor, stranger, blame poer."
What's the matter?'
"Oh, wheat's SO dang low an l
hain't got none to sell neither"
81 am canvassing for"
Don't want no nail insurance"
"But this isn't insurance of any
kind, it is"
Got all the fruit trees / want"
Eyes, but I'm not tree agent if
you hadn't. This is something that
Pm sure you will like to have your
name"
Never sign no papers to strangers.
"Of course, but let me explain.
We are trying to raise money to erect
monument to the homestead law,
and"
"Is it dead, pardnera"
"No, the idea is to erect an impos-
ing granite shaft $50 feet high in the
center of quarter section of the land
to perpetuate the memory of the un-
told benefits of the homestead law"
"Yes, I calkilate they are untold. l
don't hear much bout 'em in these
parts"
"What don't you think you have
derived great benefits from the home.
steads ?"
"Not that l knows Of"
"But it was free land to you"
"No 'twan't."
"Why not p
Had ter live OH it an work it an
most starve ter DEATH"
"There was no use in starving"
might as we'll starve asst kill
m self workin'."
mo need of either. But you could
not have got farm without the law"
Didn't want none."
"What made you take any then p
"Cos some dang fool like you said
it was NICE"
"But it has given you free home.
"Had one before"
"Then you haven't enjoyed life on
your homestead?'
"No; freeze ter death in ther win.
ter an blow way in ther summer"
"But you can sell your land"
"Don't want ter beat any other
dang fool"
81 don't believe you like farming
"Oh, farmins' sail right when vel
live in civilized country-a place
where there's som trees where a fel
ler kin chop, an git bar 'casionally
er a coon-why, stranger, there AIM
n coon in this hull country, and yel
know it,"
"Where did you live formerlyl"
Michigan, North'n Michigan"
"Then you can't give me anything
for the monument"
Not DANCED cent. But I'll tel
yer, eff yell get up a collect'n tel
build 'sylum fer cussed fools that
come out here where they can't chor
er bill maple sugar, er shoot squir'ls
er trap bar, er hunt bee trees, er gil
eny slip'ry elm, er see hoop pole fol
a year, er ever hear a coon fer tht
hull blamed summer, why, I'll chiI
in the wuth of a good hogs."-Estel
line Bell.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

A railway train at times can be
compared to sheet of note paper
that is to say, when it is stationary
London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

II was a Vassar graduate who
wanted to know if the muzzle of the
gun was to prevent it from going off
prematurely.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

"Well, conductor, did you get any
Christmas presents?"
"Oh, yes. Four through passen-
gers paid their fares on the train."-
Ex,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

A Clark street justice, who makes
speciality of remarrying divorced
couples who have become reconciled,
hangs out the sign: "Re-pairing
neatly done. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

|. My old friend saw a prestidigita-
teur change a rabbit into pigeon
the other night, and he Immediately
went home and turned his horse into
a field.-London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

A well-trained child-the one that
belongs to me. An ill-mannered
brat-the one that belongs to my
neighbor.-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

Difident lover: II know that
am a perfect bear in my manner"
She: "Sheep, you mean; bears
hug people--you do nothing but bleat." "
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

American manufacturers have in
troduced paper hats. There may be
some inconvenience about them but
they won't be felt.-London Moon
shine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

The FREE pREss is a pure family newspaper that
your wife and children can read without injury TO
their morals. It is educator, and, in order TO
keep up with the industrial scientific and literary
life of the day, every family should take It,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

"Did pay for that wine we had
last night, landlord I" asked Crimson
beak, coming down one morning with
his head tied up in towel.
"Why, you ought to know, Mr..
Crimsonbeak," replied bystander,
jokingly.
"Well," said Crimsonbreak, 81 con.
suited my pocketbook, and it seemed
to say that l did; but when I con.
suited my head, came to the con.
clusion that 1 was paying for it this
morning."-Yonkers Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

A PAPER roR EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR.
PRICE, s7.Oe A YEAR. or is CENTS A WEEK.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
THE WEEKLY FREE PRESS
By- ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR -xz

Is large eight page, ffty-six column, family news
all others who do not wish TO take daily paper.
II is an eptome of The DAILY FREE PREss, and is
live, progressive. and interesting weekly Journal,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

"The Detroit Free Press is the only sheet
In the whole State that gives you all the news,
Nothing left out, cut down, or Incomplete
For lack of room no paragraph you lose,
AS in the smaller papers of the town,
That clip, pare, mangle, obscure and omit
The news you want you don't want so boiled down
That sense and value are boiled out of it,"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
now TO USE 4
Cream Balm

Place a particle OF
the Balm into each
nostril & draw strong
breaths through the
nose. IL will be alb
sorbed and begin its
work of cleansing and
healing the diseased
membrane. It allays
Inflammation and pre-
vents fresh colds.
Not aLiquld or Snun.
A few applications re-
lie We. A thorough
treatment sciH cure.
Agreeable 10 use. Send
for circular. Price 80
cents, by mail or at
druggists.
ELY BR0THEI
go0~f
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

q
In the shove cases DR.. Thsmas' Eeisetris OIL can
he relied upon. II has given relief 70 thsussada
Keep il in your house. There is hardly week u
the year il win no, be useful.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
Detroit, Bay City & Alpena R.R'
Time Table No. G.
RAINS GOING NORTH.
Mail and Express.
TRAINS GOING SOUTH.
Mail and Express.

All trains run by the Nineteth Meridian on Cen
trail Standard time.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

Husband-"How much do you
lack of being a fool ?"
Wife (sweetly and measuring the
distance between them with her eye)
"At present am within about three
yards of one."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

"Your studies are costing me a
great deal," said father to his son,
as he reached in his pocket for money
to buy more books with.
81 know it, papa" replied the son,
with some emotion, as he pocketed
the $40 bill, "and ! don't study very
hard either" York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

Chumley: "Say, Dumbley, one of
the fellows in our lodge is dead, and
I've got to sit up with the corpse to-
night. Did you ever sit up with a
corpse. Dumley?"
Dumley: "No, l never did. But
I've spent the evening with Chelsea
girl. Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26


A Chicago girl sat pensively at the
window gazing upon the blue sky and
tumbling waves of the emerald lake.
"What are you doing, my daugh-
ter?" asked her father, who was
reading the market report.
Building castles, papa" she sigh
ed. Castles in the air."
"Well, don't do it, my child yeu
can't mortgage buildings like that for
a darned cent.-Washington Critic.
"Say, wife, where's that bottle Of
cough medicine that cured my cold a
couple of weeks ago?" inquired a
Sacramento husband the other even
ing.
"I don't know anything of any
cough medicine"
why, the bottle was sitting be.
hind this vase. / took spoonful OF
il and IL cured me. want some
more"
Behind that vase Bless me,
George, that was the furniture pol.
ish !"-California Maverick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

Bantering Lawyer-"Have you got
brains or buckwheat batter in your
head ?"
Witness (sweetly)-"Brains, sir"
Lawyer-"Well, l would rather
have buckwheat batter"
Witness-"I believe that is what
you have got."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

Coldcash: "What do you charge
for embalming?"
Undertaken: FIFTY dollars"
Coldcash: "Well, say, amt that
pretty high ?"
"Undertaker: "Not for first
class send off"
Coldcash: "Well, what discount
would you make for the deceased hav-
ing wooden legY-Chicago Ram
bier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

Monster lie Baron, getting ready to
pop the question: II haf ask your
mamma and she gif her consent-and
-now-I-er-"
Miss Bullion: II am so glad.
But won't it be funny to call you
papa. Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
The .NiagaYa Falls Route.

Arrival and departure of trains noted below as
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-05-26

ELY BROTHERs, druggists, 0Nego, n. Y.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
Excursion.

For the accommodation Of parties wish
ing to attend the German Baptist Annu-
al Convention, held at a point midway
between Rossville and Mulberry, Ind,
June 10th to 18th, the G. H. & D.. R. R.
will sell excursion tickets to either point
at 1885. Tickets good going from June
9th to 18th inclusive, and return to and
including June Both. We run two daily
trains. Through coach and sleeper with
out change. Leaving here on 5:29 morn
ing train will arrive at destination at
2:30 p. m. Special coach will leave here
morning of June 18th, and arrangements
have been made so there can not posi-
bly, be any delay in getting through. The
only direct route and quickest time via
Hamilton, G. H. & D. R'y & Indianapo-
lis. w. H. GIANT,
Ticket Ag't.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
Relieved mt Last.

For thirty-seven years l have been af-
ficted with s%crofula. 1 had scrofulous
sore eyes and white swelling in one knee
and ulcers On both legs. My legs trou-
bled me for thirty-four years, more or
less, and twice modification set in. I
changed doctors twelve times during that
period but received no permanent bene-
fit from their treatment. l spent all the
money! could get, and almost gave up
in despair, for l grew worse continually.
About our or five years ago l commence
ed to take Swift's Specific. My strength
began TO improve with the first bottle. l
have taken in all about forty bottles. My
legs, which were a mass of sores for more
than thirty years. are now entirely cured
up, and have been for about three years.
l feel strong and healthy, and am to-day
sound and we'll as any man. l owe my
restoration to health and prospect for a
new lease on life to S. S. S. I am a liv-
ing testimony to the virtues of this won
derful medicine.
STEPHEN CLARK, (col.), Covington, Ga.
February 26, 1886.
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases
mailed free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co., Drawer, 3.
Atlanta, Ga. 157 w. 23d St., N. Y.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
FROM ELDORADO.
ELDoRADo, o., Nav 81,

ELDoRADo, o., May 81, 1886.
Mr.. Editor-The good people of Eldorado,
as appointed, had the pleasure of hearing the
very interesting lecture which had been an
nounced to be delivered by Supt. c. G. Miller,
of Eaton, on the evening of the 29th. The
weather was pleasant, and Notwithstanding
the division of the people, caused by the
show, the large and commodious church was
filed. The exercises opened with music from
the Eldorado choir. followed with prayer by
Rev. Mills, after which the Rev. introduced
the speaker, who interested the audience on
''The English People, Origin and Literature.
for an hour. Mr.. Miller opened his lecture by
giving a very brief account of the five races
of men, thence passing to the subdivision of
the Caucasian race, which belong more prop
erly to his theme. These he handled aud IL
Illustrated their birthplace and travels so
plainly that they were within the comprehcn-
sion of the common school minds. He gave a
brief account of each of the three successive
waves of the English people; giving interest
ing sketches of each of the founders of our
language, closing with a grand picture of our
English literature, given in such a manner
that the impressions made were strong and
lasting upon the minds of both old and young.
The exercises closed by the audience mani
Testing their appreciation of the lecture by a
unanimous vote of thanks. May success ever
crown Mr.. Miller and his valuable work.
LEONA.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
For Sale.

A neat cottage house with 61a lots, on
Barron street, north of Railroad. Stable,
wood house, out buildings, well of good
water, fine lot of berries and fruit trees.
A desirable situation for a small family.
1t may be bought very low. Warrantee
deed. Apply to Perry Alexander or VIM.
Banfill. If not sold before June 9Th Will
be offered for sale at 2 o'clock p. m.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
The Chequamegon Hotel.

The above summer resort house, loca-
ted close to the banks of Chequamegon
Bay, at Ashland, Wisconsin, opened On
thu LIST of June for the reception of sum-
mer visitors. 1t is a model hotel in its
way, with capacity to hold five hundred
guests, and is under the direction of S.
H. Brown, Esq, of the Michigan Cen
trail Railway, and by the way a Prince
of good fellows who knows how to make
everything pleasant and agreeable to the
guests of the house. The grand parlor
Of this famous hotel is the finest room OF
the kind in the west, while everything
around it strikes the sojourner with an
impression OF ease and luxury. The at
mosphere there is 50 pure and bracing
that it has already become known the
world over, and especially to shay fever"
refugees, and is certainly one of the
most charming places for rest and resort
in the country, and easily got to through
the Wisconsin Central Railway, one Of
the best and safest roads in the west to
ride on. Try it this season.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
Divorce Notice..

Patrick Page, pl'f., Preble Common Pleas
VS.. Court. Divorce.
Bridget Page, DEITY
bridget PAGE, residence unknown, will
y take notice that on the 18th day of May,
A. D. 1886, the plaintiff filed his petition in
the Court of Common Pleas, Preble County,
Ohio, being cause No. 5949, praying for 4 di-
vorce from said Bridget Page, on the ground
of willful absence for more than three years;
and that said cause will be for hearing on and
after the 10th day of July, 1886.
CAMPBELL & DYE,
Att'ys for Plf.
Attest. R. Cook, Clerk.
may20-6t
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03

Before buying, see Stephenson's Hand
made Harness, Stock firstclass and if not
as represented, money refunded. S. E.
corner Main and Cherry streets, Rine-
harris old stand.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
To Contractors and Builders.

"
SEALED PROPOSALS will be received at
y. the office of the Clerk of Dixon Township,
Preble county, Ohio, until II O'Clock, NJ, on
Sd URDIT, JUNE 1861, 1886,
for building a one-story Brick School House
on the school lot in sub-District No. 3 of said
Township. Said house to be completed on or
before August 18th, 1886, according to speci-
fcations on file in. the Clerks office.
Each bid must contain the name of every
person interested in the same, and be accom-
panied by a sufficient guarantee of some dis
interested person that. if the bid is accepted,
a contract will be entered into and the per-
formance of it properly secured.
The bids on each kind of material called for
by the specifications must be stated separate
ly, and the price of each given; and the price
of labor must be stated separately. The price
which will be paid for the old house is also
required.
None but the lowest responsible bid will be
accepted, and the Board reserves the right to
reject any or all bids.
BY order of the BOARD of Education at its
session held May 22d, 1886.
JOHN W. COOK,
may27-4tl Township Clerk. =
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03

The CALLED jade winces like those who
spread the report that Craik, the dry
goods merchant, was only going to stay
a short time. They wish him to go Sc
they could bring dry goods back to the
| old ridiculous prices.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03

Do not buy an Organ Or a Piano until
you get Frank Bloomfield's prices. In
struments sold on easy payments.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
MARRIAGES.

ROSS-PARKS-May 9th, 1886, at the res
idence of, Silas Parks, near Concord, by w.
H. Orr, Mr.. William E. Ross and Miss Martha
L: Parks, both of Preble county, o. The bride
was the recipient of many handsome and val
liable presents from her numerous friends.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
DEATHS.

B0ESCHE-0n the oath Of May, near En-
terprise, Ernest Boesche, aged 19 years, 6
months. and 2 days. Funeral services con-
Quoted in the Lutheran Church at West AL
exandria, by. Rev. G.. Baugbman.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03

Itch, Prsirie Mango, and Scratches
of every kindcured in 80 Minutes by
Woolford's Sanitary Lotion. Use nc
other. This never fails. Sold by Up
BRooKINs &SoN, Druggists, Eaton, .
MARI, 'S6 ly
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03

H. w. Runyan will be prepared to do
Dental work of every description at the
rooms formerly occupied by DR.. Church
i'll. by the last of this week. Having the
latest approved instruments and appl:-
ances can guarantee satisfaction in every
instance.
Respectfully,
H. w. RUNYoN, D. D. S.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03
Arrive at Dayton at o o'clock. Return

Dayton Union Depot, 7:15 p. m.
Tell all your friends, and get up your
family parties at once. This may be the
only excursion this season. See posters
and small bills for full particulars and
call on w. H. Giant at the depot. Re-
member, June 10th, 1856.
JNO. R. McCORD, Adv. Ag't.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-03

Cyclone policies issued by Home In.
~surance Co., of New York. Assets about
IS, ZOO, 900. HENRY H. FAIR, agent.