Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-07-28
Thrilling Story of the Value of Mot
toes in Territorial Journalism.

if it had a motto. They may be
right. "Free and Unbacked," "Our
Aim-the Peoples Welfare" and
Truth is Mighty and Occasionally
Prevails" and all good, secondhand
notices, somewhat worn along the
edges but still in pretty fair condition.
We have also thought Of several
Others, including "Keep off the Grass"
"Sic Semper Tyrannis" and "Free
Thought, Free Speech and Free
Lunch" but have SO far refrained
from running up any of them. We
have been influenced in the matter
somewhat by the remembrance Of one
Ii. Junius Browne.
Mr.. Browne was pale, scholarly
bubble who came out to the frisk and
vivacious West to engage in the hon
orable profession Of journalism. He
settled down at place called Hicks
Hollow and brought out the Weekly
Palladium. Right under the head
he put this motto in large square
shouldered type Here Shall the
Press the Peoples Right Maintain;
Unawed by Influence and Unbribed
by GAIN" On another page he an
nounced: "No Pent-up Utica Con-
tracts our Powers" "Policy is an
Id1l-Principle a God" Founded
by III. Junius Browne. Cordwood,
fresh hay and other country pro-
duce taken the same as cash.
Junius ran the paper along during
the summer and it began to look as if
he would soon have to begin on q
diet Of notices. He was canvassing
the prospects of roast motto on toast
ed platitude when the fall campaign
slid in on the community.
The Palladium began to talk about
the best man for the different offices,
when one day candidate for county
sheriff came in and said:
"Mr. Browne, air you goin' to sup,
port me for sheriff."
"Well, Mr.. Snoozeberry, really |
couldn't say as yet-you know the
Palladium always supports the best
man, and | don't know either of you"
"Well, I'll admit l amt the best
man, the other fellcr is near onto fifty
pounds heavier than me, AID a hard
hitter, but I'm quicker on the draw.
Now eff sign for yer paper and pay
in advance will my qualifications fer
the office be all hunk ?"
"Well, you see"
"S'poso make it two copies ?"
Eyes, but"
Call it three, but that's the best |
can do"
"Oh, well thatll be all right-Pm
convinced you're the man for the
place."
So the Palladium poured out its
wrath on McDeadeye, the other candi-
date. McDeadoyo was an unfit man
for the important office; McDeadeye
had a record back in the States which
would i'll bear the searching calcium
light of public investigation and the
worst of it was McDeadeye couldn't
get it. But McDeadeye did get it and
Snoozeberry went where the wood
bine climbeth.
A few days after McDeadeye came
into the Office of the Weekly Pallad-
ium and said:
"Mr. Browne, | b'liove you referred
to my past record in that Dismal Wall
NV yourn ?"
"I-I-I-d-don't quite remember,
Colonel McD.d-deadhead, p-p-p'r'aps
I did, it's all right, though, Colonel"
"Oh yes, it's all right, er will be,
that's what come in fer-to make it
all right. B'leve you said you'd like
ter see my record ?"
"Y-y-yes, | did say that"
"Well, sir, here it is, six parts to it.
and it speaks for itself-just waiting
for the formerality of an introduction
when it'll talk right out. Mr.. Browne,
this is Mr.. Colt, who will address you
for few moments on the vital issues
of the day"
Then he began to shoot. When
the first gun was empty he threw it
at the printer who had crawled under
the imposing stone and produced an
other saying; 81 have the pleasure
NV introducing to yer favorable notice
Mr.. Smith & Wesson, the well.known
tenor, who will entertain you with a
little vocal music J"
Another slice of bombardment and
he said: Ladies and gentlemen, l
know you will all be pleased to meet
Mr.. Remmingt n, gentleman con-
nected with the navy, who will give
his lecture, entitled, 'Deep-sea Sound
ings in the Human System, accom-
panied by illustrations~
At the conclusion of the speakers
remarks he picked up the shooting
irons, kicked the printer through the
I unper sash Of N ,viu1ow an1 ,yonf ort