Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-27
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN a couple ia about to elope, the young
man asks: DOES your mother know your
route?"- Heso Orleans Picayune.
PRESIDENT OF COMMUNICATIVE, watch
man. il y0u'n take the tire -suTer and books
from the safe we'll begin the days business.
It'd Ems.
QUEER country thisP There ia very often
wind enough to HOW a town out OF existence,
but seldom enough wind for a yacht race
Hartford Post.
TIE FIRST LESSON OF LIFE-"well, how do
you like school, TOM"
~ don't like 1t. They make you do things
you don't want to do."-TGnes.
To THE pure all things are pure. This ex-
plains why man ran be a church deacon and
grocer and yet at the same time sell oleomR r
ga~ine Tor genuine butter.-PhAGdekDhid
Herald.
1T trapspires that both the TAYLOR brothers.
candidates Tor Governor OF Tennessee. are
fddlers. Violins may be expected in Tonnes
see before the campaign is Standardization
TrdnscrtD..
TON WANTED VARIETY-''Hurry up. Tom
There goes the dinner bell" said one boarder
to another.
They ought to call it the chestnut bell in
this house. IT always rings for the same old
thing-hasA. "-Joker.
A BOARDING HOUSE MISTRESS has added
another ornament to her wall decorations. 1t
Is in the shape of motto. WHICH reads thus:
the mouths of her boarders sometn ng to do
Boston Commonwealth.
KANSAS School Teacher-Where does all
our grain go to?
Into the hopper"
'What hopper?'
"Grasshopper," triumphantlv shouted a
schOlar.-Nelo Orleans States.
"MAN and wife," says a writer on matri-
mony, ''should learn to pull together" II
thus doesn't mean that when she grabs you by
the hair Won should grab hers, we fail to un
derstand the drift of this writer's argument.
-PhitadelDhid Herald.
THE story comes from Boston of a dude
who, having been asked to say grace at for
NAL spread at which he took a leading part,
bowed his head slightly. languidly lowered
thanks-aw fully !''-NeqD York Sun
HORACE RUBLEE, the editor of the Milvau
kee entinel, is in doubt whether a woman
may with proprety be married for the second
time under bell of flowers. but thus dsposes
of the nice problem: ''But why should not
the widow get arried under q chestnut
bell?"
BoNvIN. the painter. arose at his marriage
banquet, and. addressing his wife in an infia-
ted style. remarked: Never forget, my wi To-,
that you have entered family of the gown
and swordi Was not my mother a seamstress
and my father in the rural polceP-EU-
change.
THE CHILD who makes the acquaintance Of
the maternal slipper NAV have the satisfac-
ton of knowing that Its mother once under
went the same operation at the hands of its
grandmother. THIS is one of the reasons
why children are SO fond OF their grandpar-
entp.--Ne1O HdDeB Netos.
Eyes, SIR" said the manager OF a comic
opera troupe, "the chorus has been much i'm
proved since last sea on"
Then, l suppose you have secured q num-
Der OF young aud pretty women?"
mo, not that; but the new dresses are six
inches shorter than they were last year,
Philadelphia Herald.
THE striking mania reached colored
preacher in y town in Mississippi the other
day, and he arose before his congregation and
said:
"Chillen, Zee been irwin hard to preach de
Gospel on 81 week, an I'se got discouraged.
You has elder got TO raise de salary to SO, or
I'se gwine to get out an skirmish fur hogs an
chickens 'long wild de rest OBJ you, an take
my chances oh gwine to hebben." -Ohristidn
at Work.
THE ability Of the average colored servant
In the South to steal with impunlty from his
or her employer, as the Gaze may be, is truly
phenomenal
"How's yer comm on in yer new place ~
asked Jim Webster of Matilda SNOWFALL
Use done laid up noah den $50. an hain't
drawed u cent OBJ wages yet "
Amt yer aieered dey will hold back yer
wages ?"
No, ESQ got pufec coincidence in 'em."-
Tec5S Sitin0s.