Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-02-10
HE TRIED THE RECIPE.
AN UNSATISFACTORY EXPERIENCE
WITH PASTE AND WALL PAPER.
bill Nye's Conspicuous Figure rs an
Amateur Paper-Hanger-A Dia-
logue That Was Not Re
ported-some Advice.


distant day, to issue a small book filled
with choice receipts and directions for
making home happy. | have accumu-
lated an immense assortment of these
things, all of general use and all excel
lent in their way, because they have been
printed in papers all over the country,
papers that would not be wrong. Some
of these recipes have tried.
have tried the recipe for paste and d.
rections for applying wall paper as pub
iished recently in an agricultural paper
to which | had become very much at
tached. This recipe had all the charac-
teristics of an ingenious and honest docu
ment cut il out of the paper and filed
it away where came very near not find
ing it again. But | was unfortunate
enough to find it after a long search.
The scheme was to prepare Il flour
paste that would hold forever and at the
same time make the paper look smooth
and neat TO the casual observer. 1t con-
sisted of so many parts flour, so many
parts hot water and SO many parts COM
mon glue First, the walls were TO be
sized, however. l took a common taps
measure and sized the walls.
Then 1 put dish pan on the cook
stove. poured in the -four, boiling water
and glue This rapidly produced dark
brown mess of dough, to which was
obliged TO add more hot water. II looked
extremely repulsive to me, but it looked
q good deal better than it smelled.
| did not have much faith in it, but
thought would try it. l put some of it
on long strip Of wall paper and got up
on a chair to apply it. In the excitement
of trying 10 stick it on the wall as nearly
perpendicular as possible, lost my bal
ance while still holding the paper and
fell in such a manner as to wrap four
yards Of bronze paper and common -four
paste around my wife's head, with the
exception of about four feet of the paper
which applied TO an oil painting of a
Gordon Setter in gilt frame.
i decline TO detail the dialogue which
then took place between my wife and
myself Whatever claim the public may
have on me. it has no right to demand
this. 1t will continue to remain sacred.
That is not so very sacred of course, if
remember my exact language at the
time, but sacredly secret from the prying
eyes OF the puDnc-
AERIEND TO THE RESCUE.
Finally friend came along who helped
me pick the paper of the dog and sooth
nv wife. He said that what this paste
needed was more glue and a quart of
molasses. added these ingredients and
constructed quart Of chemical
mcl.ss.s, which looked like crude ginger
bread IN 3 molten state.
Then with the aid Of my friend l pro-
c.edsG 70 paper that room The paper
would seem 10 adhere at times and then
It would refrain from sdhering. This
was annoying, but We succeeded in ap-
plying the paper to the walls in way
thst showed we were perfectly sincere
about it. We didn't seek to mislesd any
body or cover up anything. Any one
could see where each roll of paper tried
to be amicable with its neighbOr-also
where we mad tried the laying on Of
hands in applying the paper.
j was very tired when / got through,
and went to bed early, hoping to get
much needed rest. In the morning when
felt fresh and rested thought that the
paper would look better to me.
DISCOVERY NEXT MORNING.
That is where fooled myself. It did
not look better TO me- II looked worse
All night long could occasionally hear
something crack like Fourth of July.
/ did not know al the time what il was,
but in the morning / discovered. II
seems that during the night that paper
had wrinkled itself up like the skin on
the neck of pioneer hen after death. II
had pulled itself together with SO much
zeal that the room was six inches smaller
each way, and the carpet didn't fit.
There is only one way to insure success
III the publication OF recipes. They must
be tried by the editor himself before they
are printed. II you have good recipe
for paste. you must try il before you
print IL. II YOU have a good remedy for
botts, you must get botty horse some
whero and try the remedy before You
subrnit it If you think Of publishing
the aptidote for a certain poison, you
should poison some one and try it before
you baMboozle the readers of your paper
-B'u Nye, in Western Plowman.
How q Boot Black Reads Character.
The boot-black Of the court house base
ment reads q mans character in the kind
of a shine he wants put on his shoes
There's some men, said ne to a reporter
want a bright shine, as bright as that re
hector over there on the wall, and when
look at them l see they wear shabby
clothes, their toes are out, every button
hole torn, their hats dirty and worn out
but they want bright shine. They'll g
out on the streets with such a shine anC
ualk along and look down at their SHOES