St. Paul daily globe., 1886-08-02
A STEAM ENGINEER
VERY MANY JOHNS.

a STEAM ENGlNEER.
VERY MANY Johns.
Researches of postmaster Day in
HIs Endeavors to Distribute Let.
Iers as They Come.
lis there any mail for John Johnson"
asked heavy-set man at the general deliv
cry window of the postoffice the other day.
The clerk looked through the ''Js" and
found letter bearing that name and it was
handed out. A wild kick from the recipi-
ent because it had not been delivered,
brought a request to report to DR.. Day, the
postmaster, and the man went to that Off
cials office. A bit later GLOBE reporter
found DR.. Day with four letters in his hand
and a troubled look on his face.
'These are, as you see. addressed to
John johnson, st. Paul." said DIR. Day,
land upon turning to the directory find
there are, by actual count. 105 John John
sons in the book. II of them run straight
from the base with only the cognomen of
John prefixed to their names, while 2S in
sert letter between the front and rear
names, and spell the name Jansen and 3
more prefer to have it Johnston. Now,
how in the world [ would like to know, is
the right John johnson to get this letter.
unless his correspondents will put some
thing more in the address than his name.
If they don't know his street and
number, they could identify him
by his occupation, as laborer, car driver,
| blacksmith, or doctor, lawyer or the rever-
end. etc. 1 have made a tabulation of
these duplicated names in our city direc-
tory, which is curious and interesting. Of
the Anderson family, Andrew claims 81 of
| its members. 81 plain Andrews, and IA Of
! them with initials. Annie has II straight,
and the monopoiist John gets away with
| 6S of the family. 81 straight and IA with
ietters inserted, while Ole comes up with
only 16. The Carlson family have II
straight Johns and Charles. The Hansons
have only 13 Johns and 6 Andrews.
In addition to the John before referred to.
Andrew johnson appropriates 40 of the
members of that family, 81 straight and 13
ornamented with middle letter. Annie
has just bakers dozen. but one of the 13
spells her name Anna. August has 25, IS
straight and bisected with letter.
Charles pressed his brother John for su-
premacy in the family and shows UP SO
times against 105 for John. Edward has
%, IA straight and s ornamental. Nels
johnson represents "a individuals. but s of
them spell the name Nils. The rocky
Peter petrifies the family and gets 40 of its
members, 80 Of them hewn straight and 5
ornamental. And gentle-e Swan ends the
family list with only 13 members, 9 straight
and biSected with initial letters. The
| Kelly family have 13 Johns, straight and
9 with initial letters inserted after John.
The patrlcian name Of Patrick stands in
front of IA Kelley'S, II straight for Patrick
Kelly's and ornamented with letters be-
tween. The Larson family begins with II
A IN A nd
II. Sixteen of these, however, have middle
| letters to distinguish them from their
| brethren.
| The name of Miller takes to itself "a
Johns. Murphy has % Johns, IA of them
| single names, and 9 dove tailed with i'll
| itial letters:
Nelson furnishes 10 men of the name of
Andrew, and 10 women who answer to the
name of Annie; Charles has %; John 21;
| NelS 90 and Peter Is. OF these 80 Mel
sons 81 divide their names by initial
letters taken promisculously from
the alphabet. Seven names are
allotted to 162 members of
the Oleson family and are thus distributed,
% to Andrews 13 to August. Is to Charles,
40 to John, IA to Nels, 80 to Ole and 81 to
Peter: of these 81 have middle initials.
The Peterson family assign to names 217
| q.
divide them as follows: Andrew is multi
piled by 81, Annie by IA, Charles by 42,
Hans by 10, John by 4S, Nels by 12, Peter
by 80, Ole by II and Swan by II. John
| Smith comes into the count with only 81
| persons bearing the name, while ii of these
insert an initial letter, and leave only z
straight Johns to bear the name of Smith.
Even the TeutOnic family of Schmidt is
pushing him to'the wall. and already shows
Is Johns to his 81. Wilson has only II
Johns and of them have middle names.
And Williams comes limping in with only 6
Johns and but 2 of them straight. The
families tabulated appropriate the favorite
name of John to 431 persons being all aver
age of nearly 20 to the family.
Man of His Word.
The patrol wagon arrived at the police
station early in the morning and from 1t
alighted a tall, handsome young musician
somewhat under the influence of liquor.
His name was given without any attempt
at concealment, the charge of disorderly
conduct being placed against it. The
lockup-keeper's keys jingled with their
usual harsh and uncompromising discord as
that official made for the new arrival and
the search of his clothes being over. started
with him for the cell. Tears filled the
prisoners eyes. He choked and then burst
into tears. ''Oh, my poor mother!" he
sobbed.
Come in here" commanded the iailer,
as he preceded the prisoner into cell. The
prisoner followed. crying like child. ''Oh.
what would my mother dc" said he ''if she
only knew this?"
The heavy door was closed. the lock
clicked and the prisoner was left alone.
A reporter was standing near. Thoughts
of his own mother filled his head as the
words of the prisoner still fingered in his
ears. His right hand went down into his
pocket. "How much is his bail?" he asked
the lieutenant
twenty-five dollars''
Here it is" and the money was handed
over and counted. The young musician
was set at liberty, and with face beaming
with gratitude he thanked his friend, and
/ DrnlniSad fO annaar payt n,DrnjnU in oourf