Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1886-04-03
THE BALD HEADED CLUB.
How a shrewd Agent Played II on Certain
Gentlemen with Shiny Pates.


About four weeks ago dapper and
debonair young man with quite flow
OF language and business aspect, came
to GAINESVILLE representing the enter
national Hair Restoring Co., Of Chica-
60" The young man was very en-
terprising individual and proceeded at
once to seek out some of our most
prominent citizens who are afflicted
with badness, among whom are some
festive widowers and very interesting
bachelors. The young man was quiet
in his operations, AS good business man
should be, and what he accomplished
while in the city has only leaked out in
the past few days.
1t is now known that he succeeded in
organizing in GAINESVILLE 'Bald Mans
Club" which is the local organization
of the great international Company"
We have not been able to obtain o
full list OF members OF the club but the
officers we learn are as follows: Presi
dent, James Parish; Secretary, L. r,
Clark; Treasurer, r. d. Moseley; Cor
responding Secretary, M. H, Clark;
General Director, Polk G. johnson.
The manner OF organizing this club
was not according to the conventional
plan, but was worked up on an original
scheme worthy OF the genius who gave
it his attention.
The enterprising young man took the
bald headed gentlemen in detail and
unfolded his plan to each of them sep
arately. The idea was that on becom-
ing a member OF the organization each
would be entitled to the use of Won
derful and newly discovered medicine,
which, if applied in sufficient quanti-
ties, would make the hair grow on "the
bald" OF the great Smoky mountain,
and would have saved the Prophet
Eliza from the reproach OF the bad boys,
if it had only been discovered in his
day. With visions of flowing locks and
hyperian curls adjoining their long bar
rem craniums, the gentlemen each lent
willing ear to all the seductive youth
had to say, but some of them were more
anxious to join than others.
Some OF the members got in by pay
ing an limitation fee of fifteen dollars
cash--they were the very anxious ones.
Others pIid only FIVE dollars and one
member who was a little obdurate, got
in for a pair OF old shoes. Several Of
the gentlemen paid no cash, but gave
their notes for $50 payable one year
hence, on condition that the hair grow
according to contract.
The members Of the club were yer,
iubilant over their acquisition and a
the first meeting they congratulated
themselves on the end of their trouble,
and spoke OF how they would now dis
dain the long haired men who had pass
ed them by with airs Of superiority
during the years OF their misfortune
One of them made speech in which
he said saucy fly once lit on his hair
less head and quoted Story's line abou
The bald blear skull of the desert"
The fly, he said, wouldn' have chanc'
to repeat this next summer.
There is no telling what state o
trancendental beot;tude the club nigh
have worked itself into, il business
like member hadn't compared note
about the innitiation.fees. That cast
gloom over the entire assembly, tn,
club adjourned and at last account
some of the members were on a hope
less search for that dapper and debonai
young man.
Mr.. JERo he DUSCAN Is on the roat
for Bloch Bros. He left Wednesda.