Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1886-01-25


with both arms clasped tightly about her
slender waist he stroked her hair fondly."
1t is mean fellow who will paint the
front gate in the afternoon and does not
drop hint of what he has been doing at
the supper table.
"You want to aim very low when you
are hunting bison," said an old hunter.
"How low?" asked the tenderfoot.-''Buf-
falo," replied the hunter, without strug-
gle.
eyes," said old Mrs. Badger, 81 have
met Colonel Ingersoll, and / thought he
was very pleasant gentleman; but 1
have heard that he is regular anne
thyst."
First student (entering companions
room): All, see you have been burning
midnight oil. Second student-No; that
is couple Of old shoes that threw into
the stove.
A notice of dissolution of partnership
lately published in a Minnesota paper
stated that the dissolution was by mutual
consent, and added that one of the parties
was '.too lazy to continue the business" p"
An up country schoolmaster whose wife
was one of his pupils, had occasion to
punish her one day. The next day the
school house door bore this inscription
tSchool closed for one week, owing to
the illness ofthe schoolmaster."
In New York bank. Texas visitor
l reckon, stranger, you do right smart
business9 Banker promptly My dear
sir, you have no idea how extended our
business relations really are. At the
present time we have three cashiers in
Canada.
A gentleman who imagined he recog
nized q lady friend advanced cordially
and addressed her. 81 beg your pardon,
he said, "but isn't that Miss Greenleaf?'
'No, Sir" replied the lady: my name is
Redpath." "Ah, excuse me. l must be
color blind"
The American gentleman sends to Eu
rope for Durham to improve his cattle
to France for Norman to improve his
horses, to Spain for Merino to improve
his sheep, and then turns around and mar
| ries his daughter to slim, empty head
ed, pesky little dude.
Papa (soberly) )-That was quite a mon
strosity you had in the parlor last even
ing. Maud (nettled)-Indeed! Tha
| must depend upon ones understanding
ofthe term ''monstroslty." Papa (thought
fully)-Well, two heads upon one pair O.
shoulders, for instance.
| That was cautious old tramp who
upon being asked whether he would have
a drink of whiskey as he was beginning
a job of saving wood or would have i
when he had finished it, answered; Well
mum, think I'll take it now. There ha.
been pile of sudden deaths lately
my DEAR" said thin little Brooklyl
man to his wife, "this paper says tina
there is woman down East who goe
out and chops wood with her husband.
"Well, what of it? should think sh
could easily do it If he is as thin as you
I've often thought of using you to pee
potatoes with"
Minister'S wife rather trying at times
How much did you get for perfomin
that marriage ceremony this morning
Minister-Two dollars, Wife-Only tw
s?-Minister-Y the poor fello,
said he had been married before and
hadn't the heart to charge him any NOR
than that.
Mamma" said Robby, s'does til
Lord love little children?" 'sOh, yes, in
Decd replied mamma. ssAnd does h
like to romp with them?" 'sRomp wit
them? what put that in your head, RoE
by?" ''My Sunday school teacher. ST.
said that whomsoever the Lord loveth h
chaseth.'