San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-08-18

w0Tid so unfairy-why, when there is
sin and sorrow, why does the punish
ment fall all on the woman, and the
man go free? | am here in disgrace and
humiliation, in shame and sOrrOW-in
fear of losing my home, my husband, it
may be even my life-while he, who
was thousand times more guilty than
was, is welcomed, Gattered, cOurtedl
1t is cruel and unjust.
II have told you" she said, chow
hard my childhood was, how lonely and
desolate and miserable | was with my
girls heart full Of love, and no one to
love.
when / was eighteen went to live
with very wealthy family in London,
the name-I will not hide one detail
from you-the name was Cleveland;
they had one little girl. and | was her
gOyerness. | went with them to their
place i'll the country, and there visitor
came to them, a handsome young no
bleman. Lord DaciuS by name.
1t was beautiful sunlit county. |
had little to do. plenty of leisure, and
he could do as he would with his time.
We had met and had fallen in love with
each other. did not love him, | idol
lied him; remember in your Judgment
that no one had ever loved me No zone
had ever kissed my face and said kind
words to me; and |, OH wretched, mis-
cradle me, | was in heaven. To be
loved for the first time, and by one so
handsome, so charming, so faScinatingl
A few weeks passed like dream. |
met him in the early morning. | met
him in the cleaning. He swore hun
dred times u day that he would marry
me when he came of age. We must
wait until then. | never dreamed of
harm or wrong, | believed in him i'm
plicitly rs | loved him. | believed
every word that came from his lips.
May Heaven spare me! need tell you
no more. A girl of eighteen madly,
passiOnatply III love; a girl as ignorant
as any girl could be, and a handsome,
experienced man of the world.
There was no hope, no chance. |
fell: yet almost without knowing how
| had fallen. You will spare me the
rest know.
when, in my sore anguish and dis
tTess, | went to him. | thought he
would marry me at once: | thought he
would be longing only to make me hap
ply again; to comfort me-; to sOlaCe me:
to make amends for all had suffered.
| went to him in London with my heart
full of longing and love. had left my
situation, and my stern. cruel grand
mother believed that | had found an
other. II | lived to be a thousand years
old | should never forget my horror and
surprise. lie hal worshipped me; he
had sworn a Thousand times over that
he would marry me; he had loved me
with the tcIrlCIeSt love.
Now, when after waiting some
hours, saw him at last, he frowned at
me; there was no kiss, no caress, no
welcome.
"'This is q nice piece of news he
said. This comes from country Wis
iting.
but you love me?-you love me?'
l cried.
~ did, my dear he said, but of
course that died with Summer. One
does not speak of what is dead
do you not mean to marry me?' /
asked.
"'No, certainly not; and you know
that | never did. 1t was Summers
amusement
land what is it to me?' | asked.
"'Oh, you must make the best of it.
OF course, will not see you want. but
you must not annoy me. And that old
grandmother of yours, she must not be
let loose upon me. You must do the
best you can. will give you a hun
dred pounds if you will promise not to
come near me again
Il spoke no word to him; | did not
reproach him; did not utter his name;
l did not say goodbye to him; walked
away. | leave his punishment to
Heaven. Then | crushed the anguish
within me and tried to look my life in
the face. | would have killed myself
rather than have gone home. My
grandmother had forced me to be saw
ing, and in the poSt-Oilice bank | had
nearly thirty pounds. | had a watch
and chain worth ten. | sold them, and
/ sold with them small diamond ring
that had been my mothers, and some
other jewelry; altogether | realized
fifty pounds. went to the outskirts
of London and took two small rooms.
81 remember that made no effort to
hide my disgrace; did not pretend TO
be married or to be widow, and the
mistress of the house was not unkind
to me. She liked me all the better for
telling the truth. say no word to you
of my mental anguish-no words can
describe it but loved the little one.
She was only three weeks old when a
letter was forwarded to me at the ad-
dress l had given in London, saying
that my grandmother was ill and
wished me to 90 home at once. What
II y ',.!n.s5l