Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-26
False Prophet Virgins.


The sensible people of Canada must be
laughing loudly at the prominence the Ameri-
can papers are giving their weather propheT
Prof. Stone Virgins. Nevertheless, 1t is not
q laughing matter to timid or ignorant folks
living in Florida and other of those places
south OF the 30th parallel Of latitude, who are
| in such imminent danger from the tremend-
Gus earthquake which is prophesied for them
on Sept. -.
If every one knew Stone Virgins as well as
| /, and what an arrant humbug he ia, they
wouldn't pay much attention TO his predic-
tons. 1t was he who literally frightened
mum Der Of Gloucester hshermen's wives to
death in the spring OF 1882 by predicting a
most dreadful storm, which was to blow from
the North Atlantic coast and whlrl ships into
the air as IL they were feathers. The time
| came, sure enough, but never whirl, except
| in the brain OF the prophet, who stoutlv con-
tended that the storm had come, hut had
| taken the form OF a Manitoha blizzard and
| passed. howling and tearing its hair, through
| the Rocky Mountsips.
| The truth ia, my friend Virgins would do
anything to secure newspaper paragraph.
Erostratus 1t was who burned down the
| famous temple of Diana at Ephesus so tn at
| his name might live in some fashion, but Eros
| tratus was shy. sensitivecreature compared
with Virgins. / have been told by an &C
acquaintance Of his that he gazed thirty-six
| hours without winklng at the first effuHon of
| his that appeared in a Halifax newspaper,
| and would have fallen into q state of Nirvana
| had not his friends shaken him up. and
| although somewhat more accustomed to para
graphs now. he grows faintish with vanity
| everv time he sees his name in print.
Permit me to give you an idea of the m ans
| cheek. One Of the chambers connected with
| the ine library of the Dominion Parliament
| is reserved for the statues and busts of great
people. such as the Queen, Sir John Macdon-
| aid, Lord Duferin and q few other celebrities
| Well, one night everybody saw to his surprise
| that on the only vacant pedes al. waiting per-
| haps for Lord Lorne, reposad the bust OF Mrs.
Stone Virgins, with a charm ing SIN lie on her
my IN hn ploo
| il there, and the prophet when asked about 1t
was as much puzzled as others. But" he
said, my wife is literary lady. She has
| written several letters to the press over the
signature OF Gunilds, and she intends publish
ing a volume Of beautiful poems. suppose
some appreciative friends placed 1t there
against her will.
The wonder to me IL that he sacrificed him
self even for his wife, for every string OF his
heart is straining aud aching for that glory
which consists in newspaper mention II,
| therefore. an earthquak come alon on Sept.
20 il VIII be a marvel us condolences; but
| then IL an odd chimney falls anywhere south
OF the Both parallel Of latitude IL will be
| enough for Virgins.
vouch for the truth OF this story: Virgins
belongs to the meteorological survey, and how
he got there ia as great mystery rs that of
Mrs. Virgins bust. He was ding home one
night from SOC al party aud he was smoking
one OF those Ave cent cigars for which ottawa
Is so celebrated. suddenly he etopped and
uttered "a exclamation which attracted
small crowd, including pollcem
Whats the m after, Mr.. Wigg nsg Has any
one struck you7'
''No. no, my friend-thank God! NY fame
and fortune are made. / have discovered
new planet in our ornament"
"Where-where is it?"
"There-there; don't you see it-naming
red yonder In the rerihelion of-p But am
| faint. Bring me water"
BY this time a pretty large crowd had col
lected, but no one could sec the star, Aod
Virgins was taken home. IL was aferward
discovered that as he raised his finger in his
idiot pro phetic way he saw the OF end of his
cigar. bright and fiery. ana In his enthusiasm
thought no discovered a new planet in our
system.
I venture to prophecy that some 10Th of Sep
TENDER, not over remote, witt see Stone Wig
gins inhabiting u room in lunatlc asylum.
Yours. eto.. JOHN @. FLEMING.
Neto York, SEPT. Rs. 1856.