The Washington critic., 1886-04-28
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR

Incy kHOckeu OUT all tDelr DunDS,
And, heavens! how the blood did run,
A.dripping from their tongues.
The floor was covered with the tide
or crimson human life,
And still those fierce and bloody men
Ceased not their awful strife.
The peaceful Members saw the blood,
And climbed into their chairs,
While all the keepers of the doors
Rushed up the lobby stairs.
And still the men poured out their blood
The crimson tide rose high
The Members climbed upon their desks
''Swim out!" the people cry.
But every door, with clotted blood,
Was stuck tight In the jamb,
And nothing but Harbor bill
The frightful flood could DAM
The galleries were reached at last,
And still the men bled on.
1t looked to be their purpose now
To inundate the lawn.
"Oh; save our lovely Washington"
The frightened people shout.
''Not much!" said Great Objector Beach;
"We'll let 'cm fight it out.n
"'Tis WE'LL" the bloody warriors cry
Across the crimson foam;
"Go get q life-prescrver for
Inc uoudess on the dome.
No more is known about the fight,
For all were drowned in blood
And these brief notes we print above
Were washed upby the flood.
~ thought Postmaster-Genera Villas was
n married man," said Congressman's
wife looking up from newspaper she was
reading.
"lIe is, guess" replied her husband.
"Well, what is he advertising here for,
saying Blanks for proposals may be had
on application at the Postofllce Depart
mentf'n
"ls he doing that" exclaimed the hus-
band in alarm.
"Yes he is. Look at this" and she handed
him the paper.
"By gravy" he said witb.a chuckle after
he had read few words, 'gmme this. I'll
take it to the House tomorrow and us Re-
publicans will make this corrupt Adminis-
tration smoke from A to blizzard. I'm n
new member, but Pm onto 'em
Congressman Beach is not only grand,
gloomy and peculiar objector, but he is
also becoming blood thirsty wretch.
| If talking were lighting in Capitol halls,
What ruin to peace there would be;
| II CoDgressmen's hands were brave as their
What CORY old times we would see!
Mr.. Willis OF Kentucky was "dead
broke" yesterday when he spoke In favor
of n sub-treasury at Louisville. He not
only said "cather' and "neather," but
"New Or-leens" as well. There's no pos
sibillty Of contradictlng such testimony.
The plans for the extension of the White
House will not be acted upon by the Super
vising Architect until Mrs. Cleveland ha,
had chance to look over them and offer O
suggestion or two.
What Is the difference between an ofiicia
under investigation and butchers, On,
meets the charges and the other charges tn
meat. stl r
In Boston jim-jams is known as "Ophid
ian Hallucinations." No wonder the,
| uuNc tutlu eO puu III DOblOu anu hU Ire
quently.
Speaking of general labor societies, is al
association of retail clerks counter organi
zationY
Congress seems disposed to give Louis
vile, KY, snub-treasury.
Gold, silver, paper-anything in tn
shape of money will suit small boy II ther
is enough of it to secure ticket to the eli
Gus.
The man who was arrested for having fou
wives, said 1t was very sherious matter
lie was quito sober, too.
A criminal was about to be hung and a.
dnseemly dispute arose on the scaffold bt
tween the sheriff and some Of the Officer
over the prisoner. SWELL" finally said th
sheriff, "this is entirely out of place, an
the subject must be dropped,n and
pulled the trap.
When Mr.. Roscoe Conkling comes
Washington each Senator from that Stat
looks In his seat anxiously each morning
see If the ushers have put "Takenn in
over night.
AT EyENTInE