The Washington critic., 1886-09-17
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.
The late ex-senator and ex-Govern Dr.
Stevenson of Kentucky was q man Of kin
heart, and always respected the little weak
nesses of his acquautanccs aud friends. On
one occa 'iol lie was to entertain quite Il
party oi guests, and among them was a
gentleman who had at one time been q
steamboat captain, but having grown rich
and retired, he was very careful not to
have 1t known what his former business
bad been. The Governor t)ld his wife OF
his guests peculiarly, and urged upon her
to be particularly careful not to refer in
any way TO steamboats, or anything pertain
ing thereto while the gentleman was around.
She promised to be more than ordinarily
careful, and repeated the genteman's name
over and over, so that she would be sure
not TO make any mistake. In the evening,
when the rooms were well filed, about the
last man TO come was the one In question,
and the Governor greeted him cordially and
presented him to Mrs. S.
"Ah ~ she said, smiling, and extending
her hand, "Captain Steamboat, how do you
do? l have heard my husband speak OF
you so often that l am very glad TO meet
you."
All the people heard her, her husband
looked aghast, the guest turned four
colors, and the innocent hostess didn'
know until after the reception what she had
done. 1t was clear case OF an overcharged
brain exploding at the wrong time.
There isn't any way OF hanging Mrs. Par
sons along with the rest Of the CLi;ago
gang, is therey
Chicago hasn't done very much for
Charleston, but II she will hang her An
arch.sts she will bc forgiven.
Why wouldn't the kick of COW make an
appropriate stamp for the new eleomar-
garine labels?
1t is reported in official circles that Ge-
ronimo will employ his FlorIiiap leisure by
correcting and revising General Robert
Schenchs interesting little brochure on
pok n playing.
AS Republican journal the New York
Times takes rank as the leading funny
paper In America.
1t will only be few years now until
country editors will be giving away
sea serpents as premiums t. subscribers.
II Mr.. Cutting is still alive and wants to
take out his "grudge aglnn Mexico why
doesn't he adjourn across the border and
raise o band Of revolutionists?
Washington, Il New York, l.
Behold the wonders of baseball
The straDgest meath the sun
We know that each has one this game,
Yet neither one has won.
First Street Urchin.--G on to the spuds
| Tomm'e.
Second Ditto.-An' what's spuds, Mickey
First Ditto.-Don't you know that, Tom
mieY Wy spuds is half masher, half dude
an the balance collar an cane. Git on tc
| the two NV 'em stan'in' on the theaytel
steps
THE sPUDs IN THE LOBBY.
See the spuds,
In their duds,
Standing In the lobby
See their glasses
Lord, what asses
Yet they're rawther uobby
See their canes
Aud the pains
That they take to show them
Lots Of collar!
| Nary dollar!
So say those who know them.
See them stare,
IIeie and there,
At the passing ladies
| And the fair ones
Wish the stare ones
| Had a job In lIades
At the show?
Hardly No!
Not until 1t closes
| Then the lobby
Gets the uobby
spud In all his poses.
You use spirit level to find how stralgh
Maine Republican is.
The bald'headed man, more than an
other, would like to be million hair,
THE YEARS.
The wee and we king years.