Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-07-15
DESTROYING A DUDE.

| lille WOT1u Will Qeb lucIc-1 tttSOI<TQ0
Chronicle Telegraph.
DESTROYING A DUDE.
An Interesting Page from the Baseball
| History of Concord Corners-The Biters
Bit.
Last week regular silver-plated city
dude struck Concord Corners. He wore
the name of E. Bensing Compton, and
an outfit that included checked pants as
big as meal-bags, and spotted collar
as high as a outlook. He logged q
buck-horn cane and cavorted consider
ably among the girls. He said he had
| come to the country for his health, but
his seven-story airs and sick lobster
smile pretty soon turned all us fellows
against him, even if he WASH exactly
well. If he hadn't put on so much all
fired style, and hadn't made walking
chrome of himself, we wouldn't have
minded; but when the boys met down at
the crossroads Friday night, it was the
| general impression. that few feathers
had to be pulled out of that particular
peacock's tail, whether he got the health
he was looking for or not.
After talking the matter over, Ben
Thompson suggested that we invite him
to play a game of base ball. "We'l
put him on first base" said he, land
by the time the games over we'll have
to carry him home on a board"
This plan prevailed, We had good
club, and some of the boys could throw
a ball so as to knock the eternal stuffing
out of anybody who tried to stop it.
Ben Thompson was worse than dyna-
mite gun as thrower. We decided to
to make him pitcher, and we knew very
well that if that dude tried to catch one
of his balls there would be tragedy.
We waited on Mr. E. Bensing Comp
ton that night, and asked him if he
would join us in game of ball next
day.
s.Certainly, dear boys, certainly. I'll
be delighted, really"
1t almost made us sick to listen to
him; but we thought of the treat in
store for the next day, and that was
our recompense.
Saturday afternoon came. So did the
base ballists. We had whispered around
that there was some fun to be seen,
and as a consequence nearly every
body around the Corners was on hand.
When the dude arrived there was q
quiet smile along the line, but he didn't
seem to have sense enough to notice it.
We asked him if he was willing to go
on first base. He said he wasn't much
of player, and didn't think he could
attend to it; but we pooh-poohed the
body laughed in their sleeves.
The game opened The dude stood at
his place just as if he was afraid the base
would Jump up and bite him. We led
off the game rather tenderly at first, so
as to lead him on. Ben Thompson
tossed ball to him as if he was baby,
and he caught it as if it was q can of
dynamite. When he rubbed his hands
and scowled, everybody laughed whis-
pered such things as: "Ain't it ten
der" Somebody go pet him. -" ''Look
out, it'll fall to pieces"
But the game went on. 1t warmed
up. Ben Thompson turned his back to
the dude and grinned to the crowd.
Then everybody knew what was COM
ing.
Ben raised himself on his tip-toes,
twirled around and shot the ball toward
the first base.
The crowd was breathless.
The ball went like lightning
The dude grabbed for it. 1t hit him
in the hands and spun him around. The
crowd laughed, while he stood there like
corpse trying to smile. In minute
or two he got alive again. In fact, he
got considerably alive. He lifted his
right arm, swung it around like a
steam-engine drive-wheel, and let the
ball 90 toward Ben Thompson. Ben
smiled and put his hands out to catch
it. But he didn't smile long. Some
1 4
put his hands in his pockets, and said
he wasn't well and wanted to go home,
we knew he was telling the truth, for he
was as pale as death and there were
tears in his eyes.
Sam Simmons took Ben's place and
tried to paralyze the first baseman, but
the first baseman swung around as
usual and came up with the same sickly
smile, And by and by he tossed a ball
to Sam. Poor Sam! He tried to catch
it, but it slipped through his hands, and
at the present writing the remains of
his late nose are being remolded in a
plaster cast.
Then the rest of us determined to do
up that dude if it cost us our lives. We
waded in. For an hour the battle
waged. At the end of that time there
was only one sound man on the field.
That man was MIR. E. Benslng Comp
ton.
1t was then we decided to adjourn.
enjoyed the Afternoon immensely.
l assure you," said Mr.. Compton.
'Hope to have the pleasure again.
But we didn't reciprocate. We didn't
want reciprocity. We wanted solitude
and arnica.
We went home, and that very night
somebody picked up daily paper and
ran across this paragraph in the base ball
news:
Mr.. Compton, the wonderful thrower and
excellent first baseman, has gone to the
country for rest.
Last night we met at the crossroads
again, and after thoroughly kicking our
selves we passed resolution. The pur-
port of that resolution was that if Mr.. E.
Bensing Compton wanted any health
from Concord Corners, he was welcome
to all he could get--Salem Dorchester, IN
Pack
Frogs Pursued by Mice.
That frogs have a formidable enemy