Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-06-17


A young lady, singing sentimental ro-
mama, displayed not only extraordinary
talent but set of enormous teeth. "Ah,n
said lady auditor TO her husband.
"What n grand organ I" ''Perfect," re-
joined the husband, seven to the key
board in her mouth"
A western firm guarantees q wife to
every man who purchases of them q suit
of clothes. What this country needs ia
somebody TO guarantee a suit of clothes
to every man who gets wife.-Mdcon
Telegraph.
"How to Act in Cyclone" is the head
ing OF newspaper article. The neigh
bors can net just rs they want to when n
cyclone strikes the town, but we shall act
just az If we were going down cellar
Estslline, Dak., Bell.
We, the philosophical ones. study the
anatomy of our womankind in seasons.
In the summer we sec one extreme, in the
winter the other. | shudder with horror
in anticipation of the time when the
extremes shall meet Fitts6Iyg Dispatch.
doctor, how is Banker JUnesP heard
that he was very sick.n HE has Joined
the innumerable caravan" said the ply
sicinn solemnly. What You don't
mean to say that Jones has skipped to
Canada? Well well !"-Mew York Sun.
In Temple Bar, Mr.. Frederick Wed.
more an Englishman. tells this Of visit
to Oliver Wendell Holmes in Boston /:
"fIe talked good deal about Boston
society; said that there were divisions as
complete, practically, aH any in English
''but You have stone walls and we wire
fences, and the fences are quito ms eifec-
tive, though they are not so visible"
Portly old gentleman Ito student in
lawyers Office lis Counsellor Blackstone
IMP Law student.-He ia Mt present on.
gagged in consultation, sir he will be at
liberty in n moment, il you will wait
Portly old gentleman (taking n chair)-
DO you smoker Pulling cigar from
his vest pocket.) Law student (rising
eagerly)-Yes, sir Portly old gentleman
Then you won't object TO my lighting q
cigar.-LJ6.
\ A worthy musician of Boston, by over
work, had induced an attack of dyspepsia.
On going to physician, he was advised
to take tonic. Two months after the
doctor met him, and asked, "Well, how
did the tonic work 2" Perfectly, doctor ;
am quite we'll again." 'Let's see, what
tonic did you take ?" 81 took course OF
tonio-solfa." The same physician was
once called in to prescribe in a very nlys.
terious case. A vocal student was IN a
state of high fever and delirium. The
doctor at first prescribed quinine. "She
sat mp all night, singing. Sing, Sweet
Bird, over and over" added the nurse.
"Oh," responded the physician, 'in that
case, l should recommend change of air. "
Musical Herald. --..4 ~.
Charley Frohman was lately indulgine
n reminiscent tales of his career as an
"Uncle TOMS Cabin" manager. 1--WE
were down in Savannah" said he, 'and
had genuine coon to play Uncle Tom.
He was easily ratified, and every night he
used to make some of the queerest breaks
in his lines. One night he got the word
from Eva: uncle Tom, when you die,
where are you goingr up in de flies
Miss Eba, up in de flies,' was the old
darkey's instant and grave response, as
he rolled the whites of his eyes upward.
He had heard something about the flies
and his simple mind confused them with
the skies.-DetrOit BTee Press.