davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
A EOSS FOR ONCE.
Why a COiOrcd Gentleman Could Afford to
Give Away a Load of Wood.

Why n COlorcd Gentleman Could Afford to
Give Away a Load of Wood.
Obviously, the African is progressive
or nothing. HIS initiative qualities
stand out like gems of purest ray serene
upon the escutcheon of his nationality.
The other day wanted to buy small
jag of wood for kindling purposes. and
accosted a sable son of Afric's sunny
Georgia sands.
40 shuah. boss. l got fine wood TO
kindlin' purposes fust-rase wood TO
kindlin' pu poses"
''What is your figure Cor small jag?"
/ asked.
"Wcll. l reckon bout seyenty-tiye
cents am de propah mount
''All right: br NC around your Jag OF
wood in the morning and | will take it,
provided it is of good quality and ia
size"
Bright and early tn, next morning q
slab->ized beast Of the genus mule halt
ed before my door. A poor alb Get
creature with white skin held the
ithi>. 4uC nCSiO Will Nuofu L udu
talked the day before came TO my door
and tod me that the wood was there.
examined the Jag and commenced to
clinch the harga II with the colored man.
''See var. boss. lie VIII tie man am
sc.lin' dis wool. Yo' can talk wild
him.
but"
..Ee does lie talkin'. hire him. !
does. toe do de talk n. / reckon am
de boss, but he-he am my hired help,
he am. Go long, boss. an make yo'
bargain wild de white. hired trash.
That was easily done l bough the
wood from the poor white man and
gave him seventy five cents for the iay.
The next movemen: on the part OF the
colored man was a sumner.
Here. yo' poo, onnery. ow-down
white man, here am twenty-five cents
mo-. Dat makes de one dollah prom.
ised yo' fo' dom de job.
lNttr the white man pocketed bis one
dollar and disappeared 1 asked the
negro: '.How can You afford to give
away the wood aad pay quarter be-
side s?'
'.Hush-sh! Doan' say muffin. De
wool am stole. an'-well. boss, / paw
jess twenty-five cents to see no VT feels
toe be boss once. III s. Keller. IN
Judje.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
McManus' Heavy Crime.

"You are charged with being drunk
and disturbing the rol CO. What is you,
plea guilty or not gu:lty?" read Clerk
Mcdonald. of the police court.
Not guilty. yer honor" answered
James McManus. rs he arose in the
dock and held tight grip on the TOP
rail. 1.-The officer was asleep on hi.
beat. and yelled to him to wake him,
that's al"
"Guilty. as charged" said the court,
with a severe irown.
..8ut, yer honor" urged poor Nc
Nanus. .ahe officer was asleep, and j,
WAS my duty as god citizen to wake
h:m."
Take him away. bailiff." said the
court, sharply. '.His excuse has moth
ing to do wit h the case. He can com.
plain to the commissioners. if he likes,
but he can't yell tn wake up police
man with impunity so long as i Sing
justice in this court Sea Francisco
Post.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
FUNNY PARROT STORIES,
The Confusion of a >ervan'-TOrpedo anG
the Whalc-Learnin. TO sew.

The Confusion of a >erVan'-TOrpedo and
The Whaie-LearninG TO sew.
A lady writing IN London magazine
of Parrots | Have Met" tells some
good stories concerning birds of that
species. The LAZY has made two voy-
ages TO India, AMI she has seen parrots
Ivy the thousand-not merely Gagged par
riots. but parrots IN full enjoyment of
the T freedom. She first tells of par
rot HAT used 10 bite her whe.c: she was
a tile girl: then gees on:
1.-The next parrot became acquainted
with WIS Il gray one. and belonged TO
Adm raj Blank. We had one house
and Admiral Bank another, and Polly
used 10 spend his time in 4 LARGE cage
pervhad up in a tree. where he was very
happy and conyers itional, and became
4u lie friendly with me. rs gave him
fruits and other delica cies.
''Now. there was huge negro sery-
ant. upward of six feet high, as black as
:, coai, but great swell. att;red always
in most spoticss lilv-wh.te duck suits
and a tall white hat, who was told off to
atttni 10 these garden houses. His
name. ;oo. was White. and white,
VIII ie.' m CHIT often be heard shouted
thro,. h he garden ii the s;en;or.an
tones %: Admiral Blank; when White
wou!d iiv. W Ii. IN oocdient start, from
the tclen Of the hotel hard by One
morn;rg had seen the Adm raj start
OF. Respondent in uniform. and knew
he was gone. Twas surprised. there
fore. 20 hear ''W--.te. Nhite.-' called
In tone of voice.
IL could not understand it. as had
never left the garden since he went
awav. and had no; seen him return.
Neither could White. He came running
and pcrspiring. went to Admiral Blank 5
house. and then looked about the gar
den. bat could not find him. Then,
suppos:ny he lad made mistake, he
gcturn.e &c the kitchen. But the par
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
CHOOSING A HUSBAND.
The Opinion Of Parents Entitled to Il
spectfuI Consideration by Daughters.

The Opinion Of Parents Entitled to Ee-
spectfui Consideration by Daughters.
There are two sides to the question
of love-made VS.. parental-made mar
riages rs there are to every other
question. Parents who have seen the
world are better able to choose a hus-
band than an inexperienced girl under
the influence of blind Cupid. Many a
young girl who has been forced to
marry her parents choice instead OF
her own has cried and torn her hair
and raved of the convent and Of sui
eide, and Vet, after all, her souls idol
has turned cut 4 scamp. and she has
been grateful in after years for the
happy home and the worthy husband
that two wiser heads than her own
found for her.
Still, the little god, Cupid. does not
always wear a tindage over his eyes.
and an intellectual, well-educated girl
ought to have--.,nd really kind
parents will allow her-a voice III the
selection of her future partner. How
long it may be ere she obtains this
privilege in France is doubtful, for the
French character presents curious
combination of hasty iickleness and OBJ
stinate conservatism; now kicking
down, with irreverent foot, time
hOnored monument of worth and wis
dom and anon cling;ng with desperate
tenacity to fatal prejudice that could
easily lie surrendered with advantage
to all concerned.
The great Empress Catherine Of
Russia, when she made up her mind to
marry OH her grandson, the Young
Grand Duke Alexander, sent for three
charmlngyoung GernanP rincesses. and
when they arrived at St. Petersburg
she watched them as each stepped out
of the carriage that had brought so
fair load to the palace. One of the
Princesses sprang lightly to the ground
without touching the carriage-stap.
'.She will not do" muttered the ex-
perienced old Empress; .'too Tightly"
The second Princess came out more
quietly. but caught her long role in
the step and very nearly measured her
length on the pavement. Hem! an
Empress OF Russia must be little less
clumsy than thar said old Cath crime
to herself. The third stepped down.
deliberate. radiant, blooming with
health. yet full of majesty. There's
our Empress" said the old dowager,
and fastened down stairs to welcome
her Catherine had her two grandsons,
Alexander and Constantine, brought to
st. Petersburg to meet these beauties.
Constantine. the rough rider and
soldier. said he could not see any thing
in either OF them. Send them off to
Courland. said he. 1.-THE old Duke VIII
fancy one of them
Alexander, on the contrary, fell in
love with Louise. Of Baden. The third
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23

rot gave him no rest fo- the man could
not tell the parrots voice from that Of
the Admiral
While the writer was in India friend
gave her two young parrots. ''When
/ inspected them." she says. Il could
hardly believe they were parrots. They
looked like very yellow. ugly. skinny
frogs. with white claws and red beak.
and not vestige of feather. and more
firmly than ever declined to have any
thing to say to them. However, they
were put in basket and fed every two
hours on u system of dough-pills poked
down their throats and washed down
with water, and. to my disgust. l was
expected to assist them to these de-
liclous repasts." These parrots were
named Torpedo and Whale. and were
taken to England. MANY a time. ="
continues the lady. Il have gone to the
kitchen and found it empty of domes-
ties. but the whole floor swarm NC witt,
animals-viz: six pugs. father mother
and four little ones one cat and one KIT
ten, huge Mount ST Bernard dog and a
canary. and among them all, proudly
strutting about, Torpedo and the
Whale. If Leo. the big dog. was in
front of the fire, the parrots would
calmly pinch his toes t II he made place
for them: and the Kitten and parrots
played games together, rolling over
and over
Whale. among his other accomplish
ments. possessed love of music, and
whistled just Ike the canary. He also
greatly enjoyed my music when play
e but he preferred scales and exer-
clses. his taste being purely classical.
Whenever / began the former he would
climb up my dress on to my shoulder,
and there tiutter about just as though
he were taking bath. Then. one by
one he would abstract nv harpins. til
at last my hair would fall down. and n
that he would plunge and battle with
extreme relish. This wa, an amusement
he was not often permitted to indulge
in. however.
Another parrot owned by this lady
was name ID doctor johnson" because,
like the famous man of the dictionary.
he was fond of tea. OF this parrot she
writes: Il was very busy embro:derins
a curtain soon after we landed. ard Doe
tor johnson. willing to be useful as well
as ornamental, learned how to sew. He
would S t on the SIDE OF the wooden
frame. watching the patient needle as
it stabbed the cloth in and out. Sud-
denly. one day. he mad, da III at the
needle coming through the work. and,
pulling it out with jerk, ran again to
no do of {hn fYav o.,I 1,n
peated every st'tch, with many Joyous
gamfols among the many-colored woods
and silks. Goiden days.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
Ancient Egyptian Perfumes.

Two ancient Egyptian perfumes have
been reconstructed through the re-
searches of a young French professor
at Lyons, who has devoted himself to
studying Egyptian sepulture and the
plants of the Nile valley. BY hunting
through the papyrus texts and the in
scriptions on the walls of the temple
lavatories, he has found the recipes for
the manufacture of ''tasi'' and
'.kyphi. The former was a temple
perfume. used to annoint the statues
of the Egyptian Venus '.kyphT' was
more important, and besides being
used at home for the rights of Isis and
Scraps. was imported into Greece and
Rome after the conquest of Egypt 1t
then became the fav0rite perfume
among the luxurious Greeks and
Romans. who were annointed with
''kyphi'' after the bath, and were
sprinklcd with the essence during the
grand banquets, while sometimes it
was used to perfume the wine-N T.
Post.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
ABUSE OF TEA.
Its Injurious Effects Vastly Beyond tn
General SuppositiOn.

|
General Superstition.
All drugs which in small doses slight
ly stimulate or tranquiiizc are harmful
| in large doses. Paregoric is mild sed.
ative, but the terrible condition Of
| the confirmed opium-eater is well
known. Chlorai. when introduced, was
greatly welcomed by physician and pa
tent, but the excessive use of 1t has
changed it to q curse. Even cocaine,
the Youngest and seemingly the mos.
innocent of all. has already its victims.
A law that holds good of all such
drugs Is the following. viz: that the de-
sired effect Goes not continue to be de-
rired from the quantity which was at
first use,!. but that the system, becom-
Ing partly habituated to its use, requires
that the quantity be steadily increased.
while the injurious results increase III
the same ratio. Hence, all use tends to
abuse.
The abovs is true of that beverage
which ''checrs bus not inebriates :"
We should expect it to be true OF te,
from its nature, and facts prove it tc
be SO. TIE abuse of tea in a multitud,.
of cases. and the consequent injurious
effects, are vastly beyond what are gem
orally supposed.
When tea is anaiyzed it is found to
contain two powerful principles or
characteristic subs:ances-tannic acid
and theme. The former is the astrin-
gent f.tmiiiarly known rs tannin. 1t
Is this. obtained from bark, which hard
ems skin into leather. Theme is a vio-
lent poison. Probably both the fannie
acid and the theme concur in produc-
ing the effect which comes from excess
i've tea-drinking.
This is twofold. It is partly on the
digestive and partly on the nervous
s:stem-in the first case giving rise to
atomic dyspepsia, and in the second to
irrita bil;,y. palpitation of the heart,
wakefulEess and brain fatigue. Says
the British Medical Journal: 1.-The suf-
fcrers from excessive tea-drinking may
be grouped into three classes: "a
The large class of pure brain-workers,
who speedily discover that while alco-
hol is pcrnicious to them. tea affords
the stimulus they desire. They indulge
in it without fear of mischief, and
often to ~ uniim ted extent. After =
TINY rae neuroii; symptoms make
their appearance, and, in many cases.
do much to impair temper and TO
limit the capacity fog sustained useful
ness. (2) The large class of women
of the better classes who begin with
afternoon tea often end by using their
favorite stimulant in the intervals be-
tween all meals of the day. The result
is that appetite is impaired, and the
prostration due to insufficient nourish-
ment i. combated with more rotations.
(aS Factory operatives. especially wom-
en- who, finding it difficult to provide a
cheap and appetizing midday meal. fly
to the teapot, and do large amount of
physical labor on this miserable diet
airy. "-IcGis's Con,raniosa.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
COWS FOR THE DAIRY.

Some of the Essential Points to BE Con-
sidcred in Their Selection.
1t is hardly to be expected. in coun-
try of so great diversity OF soil. climate
and elevation as ours, that there should
not be as great diversity in the breeds
of cows adapted thereto. 1t is wise
man who has the faculty of adapting ;.
breed to a situation, or rather the
practical experience to determine
whether the soil and situation is fully
calculated to the purpose of dairying
as a special business.
To succeed in dairying. the pastures
must be flush and long continued, and
the means of providing rich food in
winter ample and cheap. Next, and
no less essential, there must be plenty
of pure, living water Then again,
some means must be available where
fine butter is to be made, of holding y
comparatively low temperature. These
assured, there is certainly no manu-
facture connected with the farm that
promises better returns, if discrimina-
ton has been used in the selection of
the cows or the establishment of the
breed to be kept.
Whatever the breed, the cows mast
give large messes of mix, and long
continued. for no man can succeed in
dairying who expects to milk cows
through the season and when dry turn
them of for beef, depending upon pick
ing up others for the supply. This
course never held herd that would
give milk enough to make dairying
profitable. The dairy of COWS that viii
not average four hundred gallons of
milk per COW for the year had better
be discarded. The higher one can
raise the average above this by Judi
cious feeding the greater the profit.
We say judiciOus, for the man who
Oyerfeeds for record on cows does SO
at a cost never cOmnensurated in
dollars and cents for the milk obtained.
Judicious feeding means the best food
that IN be made on the farm, supple
mented. Tor variety, with bran and
other millstuf that may usually be
bought cheaply, due care being taken,
while feeding as much as can be prop
erly digested. not to overfeed. Hence
the best dairy cow is the one that can
eat and digest the most grass, and turn
it into milk instead of fat; for grass il,
and must ever be. the main food dur
ing the larger part of the year.-Faym,
Field and otockmGn.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
THE WAY TO BE HAPPY.
Gel All the Pleasure You Can Out of What
You Have.

You Have.
Most boys and girls think that if they
could only have every thing they want
ed to wear, to amuse them, they would
never be cross or dissatisfied. That is a
mistaken idea. Things outside of your
self do not make happiness. l knew a
boy once, about nine years old, who
it seemed had every thing that
could make boy happy-a lovely
home, a papa and mamma who did
every thing in the world to make him
happy. He had 4 printing-press, a
ve!ocipede, a bicycle, sled, skates Gee
and roller), books -every thing; and
vet he was the most unhappy child l
ever saw. One winter morning the
streets were covered with snow All
the boys in the neighborhood were out
with their slcds. shouting and laughing
and having the best kinds OF tines
This boy went about the house frown-
ing. growing and whining. What
about, do you think? He was not
satisfied because his sled
was not longer, and utterly
refused TO 60 out. He '.would not 90
ont with such mean Sled" he said.
That afternoon was walking not far
from this boys house when l heard
-shonts of laughter from some children,
who We're out of sight around the
corner. When did see them | stood
perfectly still There were four little
children without ovarShocs, or over
coats. or mittens. They had an old
broom VIII oh they were using rs a sled
The youngest child was sitting on the
broom. and two older boys were pulling
him along by TIE handle. The fourth
child. girl. was runnn along hold
ing the little one on the broom. Their
eyes were shining, cheeks Just like
roses. and they certainly were just as
happy rs though they had the most
beautiful of sleds.
The following conversation was
overheard among some little ch ldren:
Three tiny. ragge boys were playing to-
Eetter in the sunshine Thursday on Il side
wa X near one of the North End railway sta
sionS. \ fourth vounysl err came M his ewes
Eisteninc with pleasure. his dirty face proud
with delight. ION boys" he cried, 1--WE
1onn' tin cint piece"
The others crowded around and discussed
tHc treasure 'Nciteily. Then they sat
ON the urbstnne 10 compare "reminiscences
o: rec, n lucNr finds.
Il foua' mos Il hull piece of a top yester-
Ial. said one.
Il fonn' a big bone in our allev. a n'orful
big Bone" said a second, IN I'm .oin' to
max" 4 jumper out of tt
The youngest chia-.he very dirtiest
;snia. est. thnn's baby that ever walked
Had listened with smile of perfect content
an now he cnimed in. in a tone whose pride
and JOY no words can convey:
"rhith mornin fouu' a peanut"
You see. it is not what yoa have.
what you find. that makes you happy.
but the use vou make of il. If You use
it TO enjoy it. get ali the pleasure and
profit there is IN it out of If. YOU viii be
happy in its possess on; but If yoa think
all the time that you want the thing YOU
have no; got. or can not have, YOU lose
al The pleasure locked up in your pres
Cnt possession. = CFr.Stiaa Union
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
To Tell the Age Of Eggs.

We recommend the following proc
ess (Which has been known for some
time, but has been forgotten) for tind-
ing out the age of eggs and distin-
gushing those that are fresh from
those that are not This method il
based upon the decrease in the density
OF eggs as they grow old. Dissolve
two ounces OF kitchen salt in pint
of water. When a fresh laid epp
is placed in this solution it will descend
to the bottom of the vessel, while one
that has been laid ON the day previous
will not quite reach tie bottom. If the
egg be three days old it will swim in
the liquid. and il it is more than three
days old it win float on the surface.
and project above tho latter more and
more in proportion ss-it is Older. La
NGtSre
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-12-23
FASHION NOTES.

Some Pretty Novelties Which Are Enjoy
Ing . Great Deal Of Favor.
Astrakhan and chinchilla ribbons are
among this seasons novelties.
The cotton velvets of to-day are al
most. if not quite. as handsome as the
silk ones of dozen years ago. And
silk velvets. pushes and brocades. I'M
less they are of especially sumptuous
quality and coloring. cost no more than
did good silk gown ten years since.
Chinchilla and Astrakhan cloths are
used as bindings for the edges of coats.
jackets and tailor-made suits. They
are cut bias, and put on to overlap each
side of the edge about an inch. In the
gray shades they are selected to bind
crimson. cream-white and purple morn
ing jackets.
Blue fox is more fashionable than
ever. The color, however, is not blue.
but grayish, and sometimes tine flecks
OF brown are seen upon its long mara
bou-like hairs. 1t is one of the frailest
of furs.
Lynx is long, fine black fur that is
not unlike black fox and makes an ele-
giant wrap trimming.
Bengaline and faiIie Franchise appear
to be the leading plain silks for even
ing wear.
Brocaded pushes in Persian colors.
with oriental cashmere effects in their
figures, are among the richest mate
rails for dress accessories. They are
applied with reserve, for an excessive
use of them would be a wicked ex-
travagance-indecd. a vulgarity.
Plaid velvet skirts and camel's hair
serge Over-draperies and basques are
fashionably combined for street tot
lettes
Short visiting wraps of plain COPPER.
colored velvet combined with brocaded
or .trappe velvet, with Alaska sable
trimmings. are seen. They are. OF
Imperial Astrakhan is that QUALITY
of fur that has the smallest and closest
curl. 1t is costly skin. its price in
creasing as the sizes OF the wave OF
hair diminishes.
Seal damdsSe is one of the seasons
novelties, and is used for both long
and short wraps. The long garment
is the least expensive, because it de-
mands no trimming. Bands of silver
fox, chinchilla, otter and seal are fash
ionable upon dull-red or castor plush
es that are not dcmdsse, and agrafes OF
silver. gold. shell, copper. steel and je;
are the favored fastenings.
Paisley designs woven upon parts OF
wooden fabrics are becoming very pop
ular. They make the addition of trim
ming to a COS tune quite impossible.
and, therefore. are not to be consid-
cred extravagant,y expensive. Those
who do not know. or, perhaps. choose
to Gelude themselves. mention these
fabrics rs East India goods.
Bayadere stripes of all grades are in
creasing in favor for plain skirts to
wear under draperies, and tail. slende,
ladies should be charmed thereat. Chew
lots with these stripes are especially
and handsome.-Buttcr;
DelineatOr.