The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1886-10-13
flashes Of fun.

Twill the coming woman
marry?' asks a contemporary.
Better ask her and find out.
A poetess sings: Il threw my
love to him, and it hath gone astray.'
Of course Il woman never Tan throw
straight.
The flower of the family is usu-
ally an expensive ornament and fire.
quently in bad odor with the out
side world.
An Irishman who had. on q very
ragged coat was asked of what stuff
it was made. "Bedad, Idon't know!'
said he, "but | think the most of it
is made of fresh air."
"A scolding wife is like a rainy
day.-Tdlmud. MOI hardly. You
90 into the house to escape a rainy
day, and you go out of the house to
escape a scolding wife.
The bandage over Cupid's eyes
must have had a good many holes
worn through it by this time. That
is the reason that he sees so much
more than he used to, and don't 90
it blind any more.
i come of a very ancient fam
ily."
Eyes, / soe. You probably
belong to hat portion Of the horse
race that is distinguished by the
length of it's ears"
The oyster takes a vacation in
the Summer time, but the clam
does his hardest work during the
hot months. One is an a~ristocrat
but the other is not.
u %ndertaker: "And what kind
of trimmings will you have on the
casket?' None whatever; a plain
casket. 1t was trimmins that killed
him. Undertaken: WHAT" Yes.
Delirium trimmin's."
"A recent poet has published a
poem entitled "The Land Where
our Dreams Come True" Those
who are in the habit of eating heavy
suppers late at night do not want to
90 to the place mentioned.
-"Mr. Smith," asked the Profess
sor of Natural History, (which
animal exhibits the greatest suscep-
tibility for attaching itself to the
human race?" Smith reflects. "Ah-
e~r-r-rer-I think the leech, Profess
SOr.
MIR. Jones" said little Johnny
to the gentleman who was making
an afternoon call, can whiskey
talk" mo, my child; how ever
can you ask such a question:" ooh
nothing, only ma said whiskey was
beginning to tell on you"
The Advance of Art.-"Yes,"
said the artist, photography of late
years has made wonderful strides.
1t has got so now that photographs
a be taken at night "You
astonish me-" said the artists friend.
Its a fact, though" replied the
artist, sadly; "somebody broke into
my shop last night and took all the
photographs l had"
A West Indian, who had a
remarkably red nose, having fallen
asleep in his chair, a negro boy, who
was in waiting, observed a mosquito
lowering round his face. Quashey
eyed it very attentively; at last it
lit on his masters nose, and instantly
flew off again. yah, YAH" he
exclaimed with great glee; "me
berry glad to see you burn your
tut."
"A Boston t~hree-year old, accord
ing to the Record, became unruly,
and his mamma wishing to get him
out of the way, lifted him V into
a great woodbox and babe him stay
there. An elder brother came in
soon after and seeing him there
said: "Well Charley, what have
you been doing now?" ooh, naw-
thin," was the reply. "Only
mothers having n of her bad
SPELLS"
Col. Ethan Allen of Lisbon was
at n time a guest at the Howard
Hotel, corner of Broadway and
Maiden lane, New York. On enter
ing the dining-room no waiter
advanced to give him a seat. The
colonel coolly walked to a table near
by and taking a chair which was
turned up at the head of the table
took a seat. He was hardly in the
nl.: In- --~., lllxy