Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1886-07-22

that clothed tho northcrnmosr
mountains in frs.
Before marriage a girl speaks &c
her lover with her eyes; after mar
riage with her tongue.
A woman refused to shoe hel
hens because her husband, shoe
maker, was on strike.
A motto of an Ohio livery man
reads: "Wbip light, drive slow
cash down, or no CO."
Business is dull in New York
now, but the chiropodist always
has something on foot.
A lie out of whole cloth is apt to
be better than n patched up story.
Now Orleans Picayunc.
A lady had her earrings stolen
from her while travelling in q
crowded Chicago street car.
The trouble with tho ground
rents In Ireland is that the tenants
considers them too grinding.
A bill now before the Massachu-
sets Legislature proposes TO fine
voters SIS or more for not voting.
The first iron steamboat ever
built in tho southwest hes just been
successful launched in Loulsana.
If there were q way to prohibit
prohibition somo politicians would
be happIcr.-Philadclphia Times.
We do not see why people should
be surprised at ladies corsets being
tight-they are always on a bust.
1t has been discovered that Mary
Anderson drinks beer: Sad, in
deed She began by chewing gum.
Justice Harlan is not only a rigid
Presbyterian, but he is the best
story-teller on the supreme bench.
Little Jack-"My mammals new
fan is hand-painted." Little Dick
who cares? Our whole
fence is"
Sheets of water can always be
found in the bed of the river. They
are cool but not convenient for
summer use.
Salt extracts thcjuicc from meat
in cooking. Steaks ought not,
therefore, to be sailed until they
have been brollcd.
A young man absent on trip 10
Paris, writes that nc has been all
through the capital of France and
considerable of his own.
Creditor.-"Can you let me have
my little bill ?" Dcbtor-"Ccrtmn-
ly, but don't destroy 1t. l may
want to pay something on 1t in the
future" It'd Bits.
Chas. D. Jacob, minister TO 3D.
gotta, no sooner set foot IN Wash
ington than the papers announced
that he had come homo to attend
the Sullivan-Mitchcll mill.
The Indian Agriculturist cstIma-
ties there are 2S0,O00,000 cocoanut
trees in the world, which produce
10000, 100000 nuts every year.
Very exclusives: Mr.. Shoddy
Smith-"Captain, is there no way.
of avoiding those common trade
winds? One docs hate TO mix in
with trade in any form. Puck.
"No," said Mr.. Morrison, 'Pvc
never made q foreign tour, with
the single exception of having been
abroad for some time on the tariff
question. "-Washington Hatchet.
The wealth of affection trcasur-
cd by the city cousin for the cOun-
try cousin finds expressions in let
tiers of tender fricndilcss about this
time.-CincinnatI Commercial Ga
zettc.
"Ah," said Mrs. Duscnborry,
with sigh. ga woman's work is
never done" "Ncither," reioincd
Mr.. Dusenbcrry, with a brutal
laugh, dis tins pie, my DEAR
Philadelphia Call.
"Hullo, John! What a jolly dish!
Potatoes, greens, carrots, beans
Who's it tor?" "Mr. Binks, sir"
ais Mr.. Binks vegetarian "Oh.
no, sir! [ believe he's Church OF
England. "-Graphic.
Smith, saw you carrying
homo couple OF nicc-looking wa
termelons last night, Brown. How
much did they cost your Brown
ID don't know yet. The doctor
is up at the house nOw."-Lifo.
What is the world coming to
when New York jury taxes JAY
Gould quarter of 4 million dol
lars Just for cutting down the lines
of rival telegraph company n
Has doodle lost its grlp?-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
A Berka county debating society
has benevolently decided that
newspapers are not an evil. 1t is
supposed that the next question
debated by 1t will he, Ought
books to be read ?"-PhiIadelphia
Times.
On ono occasion the late King
OF Bavaria declared war against
King of Saxony, and professors of
chemistry were sent for from
Munich to transform one of tho
Hohcnschwangau mountains into
g volcano.
Work in the harvest fields ofIlII-
nois can not be very pressing, or
the Democrats in the Forty-third
Senatorial District would not have
time to take 1852 ballots before
they nominate Il candidate for the
Legislature.