Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-13
AMUSING THE CHILDREN.
Thus Does Mark Twain Kill the
Time While in Chicago.
FROM Tie Chicago Tri5me.

steps in front of the hotel, smoking q pu-
tative cigar. Mark Twaln's literary fame
Is so great that it has somewhat cast into
the shade his abilities as
smoker He smokes like an artist. He
| holds the cigar between his finger and
| thumb and cOntemplates il in dreamy
fashion. Then he raises it slowly to his
| lips, draws gently, and CLOSES his eyes.
! Alter JudCIOus interval he removes the
cigar, and the smoke rolls out under his
! long mOustache with all the grace of
! nrsU dancer drifting on the stage. Then he
opens his eyes. Mark Twain looks as little
! like himself as it is possible for a man TO
| look. He wore a gray suit, tall white
! hat, aud a wide white tie such as New
! ! ork brokers aft 2ct. His long, dropping
! moustache, his well-curled hair, and
! somewhat proluse iewelry made one think
OF successful hOrseman or the manager
| of a popular burlesQue.
! But no one ever had such a satisfactory
| drawl. 1t established the fact that he was
Mark Twain beyond all possibility OF
! quIbbling. A woman could lido up" her
hair twice while he is prOnouncing the
! word mississippi. He fingers over it,
! plays with it, handles 1t as young mother
! does her first baby.
1--WE came In last night" he said, pull
! ing at the left side of his mOustache.
MRS. Clemens is not very we'll; neither
am /. have been amusing the children.
| have taken them to panorama. I'M
| derstand there are three others near here.
! L will take them there, too. want to
satiate them with Dattles-it may amuse
| them"
Three little girls, composed of three red
gowns, three red parasOls, and six blue
stockings stood on the steps and
! grinned.
run up and tell mamma what jolly
| tit1,n h cf
thing else to amuse you"
When the three little girls had disap-
! peared Mr.. Clemens sighed.
| did you ever try to amuse three little
! girls at the same tlmeW he asked, after
| pause; st requires genius. | wonder
whether they would like to battle in the
laAeT he continued, with sudden ANNA
| ton, hardly pausing five minutes be-
! tween each word; ''lt might amuse
| them"
Are you on your vacation trip, Mr..
| Clemens?''
"No; | have just returned from visit
tony mother in KeOkuk, la. She is 80
! years old and | mad not been home for
over a year. We came from Buffalo to
| Duluth by lake steamer and then from
! st. Paul down the river to keokuk.
| Neither in this country nor in any other
! have | seen such interesting scenery as
| that along the Upper Mississippi. One
! finds all that the Hudson atfords-blutfs
! and wooded highlands-and great deal
! in addition. Between ST. Paul and the
mouth OF the Illinois river there are over
400 islands, strung out In every possible
shape. A river without islands is like a
woman without hair. She may be good
and pure, but one doesn't fall in love with
| her very often. Did you ever fall in love
with bald-headed woman?"
| The reporter admitted that he had drawn
| the line there.
81 never did either" continued Mr..
Clemens meditatively, lat least l think l
never did. There is no place for lOating
more satisfactory than the pilot house of
| a Mississippi steamboat. 1t amuses the
| children to see the pilot monkey with the
| wheel. Travelling by boat is the bestway
| to travel unless one can stay at home. On
! a lake or river boat one is as thoroughly
! cut off from letters and papers and the
taX-collector as though he were amid sea.
! Moreover, one doesn't have the dIscomf0rts
OF seataring. 1t is very unpleasant to
| look at sea-sick people-at least so my
friends said the last time L crossed"
lit might amuse the children, though"
| suggested the reporter.
II hadn't thought Of that" replied Mr..
! Clemens: "but perhaps it might. The lake
seems rather rough today wonder
whether one could get boat little boat
| that would bob considerable. Yes, it might
| amuse the children"
but at such sacrifice"
"IOu are not parent?' replied MI.
Clemens.
| The reporter admitted his guilt.
"ltis strange" continued MIR. Clemens,
! in m0mentary forgetfulness of the chill
dren, ''nOw little has been written about
! the Upper Mississippi. The river below
| st. Louis has been described time and
! again, and it is the least interesting part.
| One can sit In the pllot-hOuse for few
| hours and watch the low shores, the UNI
calmly trees, and the democratic buzz
yards, and then one might as we'll go to
! bed. One has seen everything there is to
see. Along the Upper Mississippi every
hour brings something new. There are
| crowds of odd islands, bluffs. prairies,
! hills, woods and Villages-everything one
could desire to amuse the children. Few
| people ever thInk OF going there, however.
Dickens, COrbett, Mother TrOllope, and
the other discriminating English people
who wrote up the country before 1912
had hardly an idea that such
stretch of river scenery existed. Their
successors have followed in their loot
steps, and as we form our opinions Of our
country IRON what other people say OF us.
of course we ignore the finest part of the
Mississippi"
1t might he incidentally remarked that
one couldn't get pass, TO hear Mr.. Glenn
ems unravel the word Mississippi.
81 suppose we will 20 East tomorrow"
he added, but | don't know. Mrs.
Clemens makes all the plans. Women
enjoy that, YOU know. OF course we
never carry any of them out, but that
doesn't alter the fact that the plans are
thoroughly enjoyable ones. We will pass
the summer at Elmira."
"Will you 40 any work this SUMMER
Eyes, shall probably amuse the chill
dren."
But write"
"Oh, yes, see. Well, l am a private
citizen now, and have no immediate in
tention OF turning author. | shall
probably set TO work on something or
other, however. Most OF my work is done
IN the summer"
At this moment the three little girls in
the three red gowns and six blue stock
ings appeared, and MIR. Clemens re-
sumed the shape of an amusing bureau.
GOVERNMENT CLERKS.