The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-02-17
Pith and Point.

A MISPLACED switch-when the wrong
boy is whipped.
A sNow-PLow is like bad habit-a good
thing to cut adrift.
WHOLE company of Chinese soldiers re-
Gently had their ears Topped off for stealing
Z CANCER caused fifteen deaths in Boston
last week--just one-half as many as con-
sumption.
HoT-HoUsE strawberries sell for 50 quart
in New York and black Hamburg grapes for
So pound.
As was predicted, the winter has been
very open and lots of cold weather got ill.,
NelC Orleans Picdyune.
In Philadelphia guild of kind-hearted
ladies has been formed to do mending for
bachelors at low rates.
THE color line has invaded the Methodist
church in Florida and divided it into two
conferences white and colored.
AN Indiana court is anticipating the plea
sure of hearing 2S5 love letters, which will
soon be read in a breach of promise case.
MANCHESTER, England, has recently con-
cluded to bring the sea to her doors through
canal thirty-five miles long, to cost $40-
100000.
The Philadelphia Ne,cs the other day
headed department, " What Philadelphia
Editors Think" 1t occupied one-eighth of
a column-Puck
IHE IrauSpOSluOn OF QuOtatlOn marks IN a
recent music catalogue caused the following
astounding announcement: "She heaved a
sigh in E-tat for 80 cents
THE difference between a poor angler,
Sophronia, and the fish he tries to catch is
this; The angler bats his hook and the fish
hooks his bait.-BoSton Courier.
MAMMA" said Johnnie, who had just
been reading the war news, | am afraid
we are short of sauce for supper. Hadn't
you better call out the preserves
OvERwoRK, mental or physical, is given
as the chief cause of pneumonia. Sudden
changes of the weather and draughts of all
kinds are also to be guarded against
THE Boston Transcript is authority for the
statement that tailor in that city has com
pleted an overcoat, the value of which is
$4,000. 1t contains sixty. nine Russian sable
skins of the finest quality.
REV. SAM JONES says that the devil is a
gentleman and will get up and go if he is
told to-" The trouble is most people like
to make it as. pleasant as possible for him to
remain SpfiIlatield Union.
A SKELETON was unearthed in Nantucket,
the other day, with a small copper coin
under one hand. The remains of an editor,
most likely, who tried to take his wealth
along with him.-Chicdgo Ledger.
HE was persistent little boy who told
his mother. who thought him too young to
wear trousers, that " he would be willing to
go without pockets if he could only wear
something that had legs. "-Ne,o York
Graphic.
THE United States circuit court at Chicago
is struggling with knotty problem in life
insurance. A man with paid-up policy in
an accident insurance company committed
suicide, and it is claimed that, being insane,
his death was accidental.
OLD Mr.. Bently (readng the paper: al
see that in recent storm at sea a ship
loaded with passengers went ashore" Old
Mrs. Bently (placidly): Chow fortunatel /
can imagine just how glad those passengers
must have been to get on dry land"
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. ct is always safer
to listen to what is said to you, even if your
girl within ear shot. Mr.. Percy Goosehead
gin excited narrative). And then he said
! was jackass." Miss Kate: "And were
you?'-Hd1per'S Bdzdr.
RUTLAND, Vermont, is enjoying loan ex-
hibition, which is distinguished by the pres
ence of a chair that Washington sat in in
1888 The chair factories of the last century
must have run on full time to provide Wash
ington with chairs, judging by the number
of those he sat in still STANDARDIZATION
Transcript.
THEY tell in Louisville of a citizen of that
lived at one of the most expensive hotels
there He stayed four days and asked for
his bill. "Fifty-one dollars said the clerk
Guess again." said the Kentuckian. % You
than that"
NOVEL reform was dictated in the vii
of a Pennsylvania minister. After directing
the establishment of Bible Temperance
school for the thorough classical education
of both sexes" he provided that pasture
land for goats be prepared, =" in order to EN-
courage the use of their flesh in the place o
that of swine as an article of food"
"THERE is good deal of religion in ma
ture,' solemnly remarked young Aberdeen
clergyman, calling upon lady of his con
gregation recently. "There is was tn,
there is sermon in every blade of grass.
"Quite true. We should also remember
that grass is cut very short sometimes"
A LOVING New England couple dyed fo
one another few days ago. The man wa
frosted with the SHOWS of seventy years
while she who was to be his blushing brid,
had the raven locks of forty. He dyed hi
hair black thinking to please her, and she
ignorant of his noble sacrifice, bleached he
hair white to please him. There was
strange far-offness when they next met.
SOME persons want the date of Thanks
giving day changed to October 18th, the an
niversary of the discovery of America. Tn
proposition will not be received with mucl
favor. Columbus deserves no honor. |
America hadn't been discovered our peopl
would not now witness the nauseatin.
spectacle of people who were born in thi
country trying to pass themselves OFF as for
eigners.-NorrtStoWn Herald.
A GENTLEMAN walked into the dining
room of one of the Boston clubs in the earl,
part of last week, and, there being twelv
at table, he refused to make the thirteenth
having some scruples on the subject. He wa
the subject of some bantering upon the super
stition, which he accepted in good part. III
took his dinner at a side table, and later il
the evening drew up at the main table q
all the gentlemen present he apparently ha
the strongest hold on life. Two days late
he died without warning
THE Christian Aduocdte wakes indignar
over the following paragraph, which recent
appeared in secular paper: The Metl
odists of had a full house and a gran
time on Christmas eve at the church. Man
presents were distributed from the tre
Every widow received a package Of cand,
A few married and young ladies We're di
guised and sold to the highest bidder. II
gentlemen were not very spirited bidder
as the highest price realized was only fort,
five cents. The purchaser, with his priz
was provided with ticket for the amour
for which they received lunch together
the basement"
BILL NYE says: 81 have received Il
first copy of weekly paper published
the inmates of the state prison at Waupu
Wisconsin, and called the Prison Press
is a neat-looking little paper and will I
doubt be OF much interest to those with