Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-12-31
KEEPING A FEW HENS.
THE EXPERIENCE IN WHICH MR.
BOWSER INDULGED.
Building the Hennery and Waiting
for Eggs-Result of the Expert
menU as Told by Mrs, Bowser.

Keep a few hens. lopposed the project
ut once, and recalled TO mind the three
| or four dismal failures already scored
against us, but he turned on me with
that majestic air of his and replied:
Mrs. Bowser we shall keep hens. II
is true that former experiments have
bean failures, but there are excuses for
it. In the first place, did not get the
right brand of hens, In the next, you
did not take care of them as you should.
The hen business, to be made success,
must be pursued the same as any other
business"
Give got all l can attend to without
fooling with hens, Mr.. Bowser."
'Oeytaiuly. No one wants any of
your help, Mrs. Bowser. Indeed, the
further you keep away from my hens the
better shall like it. The sight of a
woman in Mother Hubbard, with her
hair twisted up in a knot and hole
showing in the heel of each stocking, is
enough to stop any hen in the country
from performing the egg business You
just attend Ia your gossip and your
callers, Mrs. BUwser, and I'll attend to
my poultry!"
Mr. Bowser ordered up $50 worth of
lumber and carpenter, and then took
the children's playground for the site of
his hennery. Th5 two men were work
lug around for tOur or five days, and one
evening Mr. BowSer came in and said:
''Mrs. Bowser, the hennery Is an ac-
complished fact. l have erected struc-
ture which even the most fastidious hen
must commend for external beauty and
internal convenience. am going down
to the gre lcery to night to see how many
dozen eggs we can dispose of per week. "
Cant we eat them allf"
''Can y; u cat thirty or forty dozen
eggs per week, MADAME
That silenced me. The grocer said he
would take eighty dozen per week, pro-
vided they were fresh, and Mr.. Bowser
came home and made his figures as fol-
lows:
To sale Of so dozen eggs per week. .,...Sl6 90
To keep of 20 hens per week. ........ 2 %
Clear profit. .....................S14 on
"Aren't you figuring rather high on
the number of eggs9" l venturel to in,
quire.
"IIigh 1 should say not I'm figuring
at least ten per cent. too low. Well
use about four dozen per week, and sell
eighty dozen. That's eighty-four dozen,
or twelve dozen per day. That is less
than eight eggs day for each hen. A.
hen who has our interests at hearT will
surely produce that many"
"Well, if thay'n do it"
''Do it Mrs. BOwser, what you don't
know about hens makes me tired What
is a hen for but to lay egg3 What would
be hen object in doing otherwise, or in
skipping Il day."
DurinS the next week he was study
ing up on poultry and making purchases
of small lots. heard him talking about
white and black Leghorns, Cochins,
Shanghais and other kinds, and / know
he paid as high as dollar apiece for
some of 'em. At the end of a week he
had twenty hens and rooster, and he
Sweled with pride and said to me:
"Mrs. Bowser, prepare your mouth for
fresh eggs for breakfa ST.
"But hens don't lay in the night, do
they" asked.
They may, or they miay not. If there
is any good reason why they shouldn't,
| don't know it. am. going to leave a
lighted lamp in the coop tonight, and
if they take notion to lay they will find
everything handy"
Next morning he was out of bed at
daylight to pay visit to the coop, but
we had no fresh eggs for breakfast. He
said that no hen could be expected to do
her best until she had become familiar
with the coop and on speaking terms
with the family. Day after day passed,
but we got no eggs Mr.. Bowsers idea
that hen could be wound up and set to
lay like an alarm clock was abandoned,
and he bought lime, red pepper, egg
shells, Indian meal and dozen other
things for food On ths ninth day he
brought in an egg. 1t was one in
structed the cook to take out there and
place in nest, Bowser came running
in with it, his face all asslow, and as he
held it up to view he sho ltel
"drs. Bowser, here is the living proof
Of my sagacityw
ayes, but don't wake the baby"
''Baby be hanged What's red faced
wall-eyed, ten pound baby 10 the fact
that our hens have commenced to lay"
Poor man! | felt sorry for him as the
days slipped away and we got no more
eggs. He brought up horse doctor, a
fortune teller, a farmer and dog fancier,
and he carefully followed all their sug-
gestions, but the result was eggless
Some one told him that the hens needed
q sudden fright to- set their laying
machinery in motion, and he sneaked
out at intervals and suddenly fired an
old shotgun over the coop No good,
When he was told that they were too
warm he ripped off the battens. When
told that they were too cold he nailed
them on again. One morning when 1
came down stairs he paused IN his ma
iestic pacing back and forth and said:
"Mrs Bowser, while you recklcssly
slumbered last night some one came and
stole every fowl from the coop"
"No!'
"Solemn fact. And that's the kind of
q person yol are Mrs. Bowserm
! "But I've got to sleep"
eyes, it seems so, and at my cost.
Mrs. | owser, I'm out about So
"8ut YOU can't blame me. / didn't
| tell you 10 90 lhto Ihe men business,
you didn't. Mrs. Bowscr, I've
always known that you were slack
housekeeper and great gossip, but l
did not suppose you could look me IN
the face and tell deliberate untruth.
Farewell, Mrs. Rowser-farewe!l, wall
eyed babym
But he came sneaking home at 10
o'clock that night, and the word chem
has not been spoken in our house since,
Detroit Free Press.
Resignation.
lido not care