The Dawson journal., 1886-04-01
DaWSOnJ Journal.
THURSDAY, April 1st, 1886.

- N~Oe~NNSSA
Giants are always sorrowfu
men.F They are always troubling
people with their size.
Johnny's teacher asked him tc
tell her what he drinks would be
in the future tense.
"He is drunk!'' said the small
boy.
With what an air of calm supe-
riority hen will gohble a worm
after the rooster has scratched it
up! There are lots Of hens in
this world.
A Boston artist painted an Oh
ange peel on the sidewalk so nat
urally that six fat men slipped
down on it.
The following "notice" is posted
on fence in G London suburb:
"Whoever is found trespassing
on these grounds will be shot and
prosecuted"
Almost every idea is already
patented; but the man who shall
invent a bootjack that will kill
two cats at one throw will find a
clear field, and may realize from
it his everlasting fortune.
A turnpike tender down South
became enamored of a young wo-
man who often passed over his
road but he never tolled his love.
Supposing a man lost both his
srms in the war, what is he going
t. do in case a mosquito alights
on his nose? Call the first man
he meets liar.
"MaF' screamed young Matilda
Spillkins the other morning, when
she got the paper, "Ma, Silver
Bill has just passed the House"
"Has he, my dear?" replied Mrs.
s., from up stairs. "Why didn't
you ask him imp"
Women have cheek enough to
wear mems hats on their heads,
but there is one thing they dare
not do. Not one of them dares
remove the hat in public and dust
OFF the bald spot.
Twas near the close Of sultry
day in July, when solitary
horseman might have been seen
Well, let's see; any horseman
might have eenzine by paying for
1T. What was it we were about to
say, anyway
Now, for instance, there is a
town in Rhode Island called An
nawamscutt. Anna couldn't help
it, of course, but how much more
sensible it would have been to
call the place smithville.
A hundred years ago when
you called on a girl she kissed you
goodbye. Now, if you suggest
anything of the sort her father
calls you into the library and asks
you what you are worth. Are we
a nation? And is this progress?
"Now, young man, I tell you,
you must not come fOoling round
my daughter, Jerusha, any longer.
I've set my foot down" Young
Gillipod: Cali right, madam,
that covers the ground"
More responsive cigar store
signs are urgently needed in this
vicinity. 1t discourages young
men to spend an hour or two ev-
cry night on their way home try
ing to establish confidence with
a white pine Indian in carved pan
falcons.
"A Young Man" wants to know
how he shall know if he is really
and honestly in love with q young
lady, or is "only suffering from a
transient and platonic emotion" +"
Well, we should say that if he
can, without shuddering, watch
Lis lady friend throw a rock at a
cat, shoe q hen out of garden
and sharpen a pencil, and feels no
eaeslre to- drown himself after the
circus is over, he is pretty far
gone in wooldyed love, and may
ask her what size of ring she
takes.
BRADFfELD's FEMALE REGULA-
TOR will give ablooming color, an
elastic step and O cheerful spirit
to the woman of sallow complex.
ion, heavy dragging motion and
melancholy disposition.
Send for our Treatise ors.IIanlth