Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-21
BRIGHT BUCS.

a ENGLISH MATCHMAKER is named
Mccall. His tlmekeepers are no doubt
watch you Mccall lt."-PittSburg ChrOnt-
cle- IeLs9raph.
tlon. PrOfessor-Mr. W., a fool can ask a
question that ten wise men could not an
swer.
Senior-Then l suppose that's why 80 many
OIL US hunk.-Co0tge eechah1e.
THE Superior Court of Kentucky saws that
a man cannot recover fortune lost IN attend
ing the funeral Of his mother. in-law. He
Wouid DE a mean wretch who should want to.
Inc aYera-e man is always too ready to see
his mother n-law buried without asking pay
for It.-Phuddetphia Press.
"WHA'D l tell ye?" shifted Uncle Abel Rim
ley, one of the pizenist Republicans the Cor
ners ever knew. Told We Cleveland am his
crowd wasn't Ut to run the country, didn't I?
I've been readin' the papers pretty sharp the
pass year, an al's I've seen Is fourth class
Postmaster appointed. Didn't used to be so
win MS. We hid fust-class men or nothin'.
tell ye the Democrats amt fit" And the
old man shook his head sagely.- Portland Ar
gus.
~ SAW Col. Bill Mcbride, t'day," said one
Dakota settler to another. ~ guess he's go'n
tu be q can'dat for the legislator next fall
aR'In."
he shake hands with you?o
"Oh, he always does that-competition is so
brisk NOWADAYS that they hav' T. know a fell
Ter the year round"
"Howdju tell, then?'
HI femme beat bout ten dollars tradin'
bosses. Bill amt a man as 'ud hurt his rep
'tatlon hat way less he'd some object
ahead ."-ESteLine Bell.
l SUPPOSE Eastern capital has done a great
deal FOR this country" sald a traveller to a
Dakota settler.
oh, ! 'spect it has-least that's what they
all say"
Haven't you been benefited by it?"
We'll, no, can't say as have"
"What has been the troubles
why, you see, ! borrowed $50 Of yer East
ern capital when l first came out here, and
blamed Of it hasn't kept me humping bouts
hard as can hump to raise the $50 each
month to pay the interest on it. 1t has kinder
held me back. stranger ."-EstsLiRe (Dakota)
Bell.
ONCE upon a time, many, many years ago.
there were two little boys who lived in Vest
ern Assaehusetts, away up among the Berk-
shire hills. One morning one of these lirtle
boys came to the house of the other with a fine
gamecock under his arm. and he said: Bill.
| want to swap this rooster for yours" Bill
asked: us he a good rooster, Cyrus?" And
Cyrus replied that he was the best fighting
cock in the country. Then Bill asked: ''If he
is the best rooster in the country why do YOU
want to swap him for mine?" And Cyrus
made answer; "Oh, this rooster is fathers.
and want to swap him 50 that / can have
one OF my ~own'-Boston Adceytjser.
IN m there's great eontrarietv:
It is very confused, and, if not rightly used,
viii lead you to much Improperly.
For instance, tho fan in the plural is fans,
The plural of man is men and not mans.
And remember tho fox in the plural is foxes.
The plural OF OK is oxen, not OXes.
And remember tho moose in the plural is
nOoses,
The plural Of goose is geese and not gooses.
And consider tho house in the plurali is houses,
The plural Of mouse is mice and not mouses.
And be sure tho the plural of ass may be asses,
You'll be 'set down an ass" If you say 'tnose
molasses."
And tho talking of breeze you may speak of
the breezes,
In speaking ~Oftrees, never mention the ~treeses.
And tho nose in the plural is properly noses,
tOeses. -