The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-11-19
VOL. XXXI----NO. At.
VARIETIES.

Teacher: CLANS, name three beasts of
prey" Hans.-"Two lions and tiger"
-"Bessie, temper is an awful thing. You
ought to get rid of it," "Why, mamma, only
yesterday you told me to keep it."
"A wit being asked, on the failure of
bank, "Were you not upset ?" replied, "No, I
only lost my balance"
-"What is wisdom ?" asked a teacher of a
class of small girls. A bright-eyed little crea-
ture arose and answered: "Ihformation of
the BRAIN"
"A phrenologist says that "fullness under
the eyes denotes language" When the full
ness is caused by another mans fist it de-
notes very bad language generally.
AN agricultural exchange thinks that the
old-fashioned pillow is soon destined to be-
come thing of the past. We have often
thought it was being run into the ground.
The superiority of man to nature is con-
tinually illustrated Nature needs an i'm
mense quantity of quilts to make q. goose
with ; but man can make goose of himself
with one.
1t is the crushed olive that yields the
oil; the pressed grape that gives forth the
wine and it was the smitten rock that gave
the people water. So it is the broken, con.
trte heart that is most rich in holiness, and
most fragrant in grace.
-"Oh, mamma such nice young man
has been making love to me at the picnic to-
day He is just as handsome as be can be,
and q graduate OF a musical college, too"
"What musical college, child ?" "Why, let
me see-he told me. Oh yes, Sing Sing"
When God intends to fill soul, He first
makes it empty; when he intends to enrich
soul, He first makes it poor; when He in
tends to eXalt soul, He first makes it hum
BILE; when he intends to save soul He first
makes it sensible of its own miseries, wants
and nothngness.
"A lady sent her servant over to the house
of a sick neighbor. Mrs. Smith saunt me
ober 10 ask you how your husband am comm
on dis mawninI." Every bad, indeed. The
doctor says he may die any minute" was the
reply. "Den reckon I had better wait lit
tie while, as hasn't got muffin else to do
jess now"
-"Yes," said Kentuckian, who had been
in the far West, indians are powerful fond
of whisky. Let EN- once get the taste of
whisky and they'll give up everything for
It, An old chief out in Western Dakota Of
fered me pony, saddle, blanket and don't
know what else, for a pint of whisky had
with me-" "And you wouldn't give it to
him ?" "Not much. That was the last pint
L had left. But it shows how fond Indians
are of whisky"
"A one-legged Yankee orator, named Jones,
was pretty successful in bantering an Irish
man, when the latter asked him: allow did
you come to lose your legP" "Well," said
Jones, ION examining my pedigree, and look
ing up my descent, found there was some
Irish in me, and having become convinced
that it had settled in that left leg, had it cut
off at once" "Be the powers" said Pat cit
would have been better thing if 1t had set
tied in your head"
Pure air every day, which housekeepers
need so much, would freshen them up until
twice the amount of work could be accom-
plished that now is, without the daily drag
glng sensation which one feels who stays 80
closely indoors. There are many mothers
and children who do not go out for week of
snowy or stormy weather, and all grow cross
because they have failed to provide them
selves with proper protection against storms,
overshoes, leggins, rain-coats or umbrellas
The English family entire goes out, rain or
shine. Health ranks first with them, as it
should.