News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-03-25
A HUM0RIST ON HOTELS,
BILL NYE GIVES HIS VIEWS ON
HOTEL ETIQUETTE. }
Touching Remembrance by the Calm
Waiter-Contrast Between New
York and Glcndive, Montana.

ToHchiug Remembrance by the Calm
Waiter-Contrast Between New
York and Glendive, Montana.
Etiquette at hotels is a subject that has
been but lightly treated upon by our
modern philosophy, and yet it is subject
that lies very near to every American
heart. Had ! not already more reforms
on hand than I can possibly successfully
operate / would gladly use my strong so.
cial influence and trenchant pen in that
direction. Etiquette at hotels, both on
the part of the proprietor, and his hire
| lings, and the guest, Is matter that calls
loudly for improvement.
The hotel waiter alone would we'll re-
pay close study. From the tardy and
polished loiterer of the effete East to that
offhand and social equal Of the budding
West, all walters are deserving of philo.
sophical scrutiny. was thrown in con-
tact with waiter in New York last sum.
mer whose manners were far more poll
ished than my own. Every time saw
him standing there with his Immaculate
pantaloons and swallow-tail coat, and the
far away, chastened look of one who had
been unfortunate, but not crushed, felt
that was unworthy to be waited upon
by such blue-blooded thor
ough-bred, and often wished that we
had more such men in Congress. And
when he would take my order and go
away with it, and after the meridian of
my life had softened into the mellow
glory of the sere and yellow leaf, when
be came back, still looking quite young
and never having forgotten me, recognize
ing lns readily, sfter the long, dull,
6acnIofa I Txxyac orla1 anH foIf that
he deserved something more than mere
empty thanks, and / said tO him: ''Ah,
sir, you still remember me after years of
privation and suffering. When everyone
else in New York has forgotten me, with
the exception of the confidence man, you
came to me with the glad light of recog-
milton in your clear eye. Would you be
offended if / gave you this trifing testi-
monial of my regardp' at the same time
giving him my note at thirty days.
/ wanted him to have something by
which to always remember me, and
guess he has.
Speaking of WATERS reminds me of one
at Glendive, Montana. We had to tele-
graph ahead in order to get a place to
sleep, and when we registered the land
lord showed out an old double-entry Jour-
udA lOA US ~ ICCOIu Jul hi0 POSe-
Office address in. The Office was the bar,
and before we could get our rooms as
signed us we had to wait foIty-fve min
utes for the landlord to collect pay for
thirteen drinks and lick personal friend.
Finally, when he got around by me, he
told me that could sleep in the night
bartender's bed, as he would be up all
night and might possibly get killed and
= rhnx
cost me 81 cash in advance to sleep one
night in the bartender's bed, he said, and
the house was so blamed full that he and
his wife had got to wait until things kind
of quieted down, and then they would
have to put mattress on the ffteen-ball
pool table and sleep there.
| called attention to my valuable valise
that had been purchased at great cost,
and told him that he would be safe to
keep that behind the bar till paid, but
he said he wasn't in the secondhand
valise business and so paid in advance.
1t was humiliating, but he had the edge
on me.
At the tea-table l noticed that the
waiter was young man who evidently
had not been always thus. He had the
air of one who yearns to have some one
tread on the tail of his coat. Meekness
with me is one of my characteristics. 1t
is almost a passion. 1t is the result of
personal injuries received in former years
at the hands of parties who excelled me
in brute force, and who succeeded in
drawing me out in conversation, as it
were, till made remarks that were in
! judicious.
SO did, not disagree with this waiter,
although mad grounds. When be came
around and snorted in my ear, "Salt pork,
antelope and cold beans," at the same
time leaning his full weight on my back
while he evade1 the revenue laws by re-
failing his breath to the guests without
license, l thought would call for what
h. had the most of, so said if he didn't
mind and it wouldn't be toomuch trouble
l would take cold beans.
will leave it to the calm, impassion-
ate and bipartisan reader to state whether
that remark ought to create ll-feeling.
do not>think it ought However, he was
irritable, and life to him seemed to be
cold and dark, so he went TO the general de-
livery window that led into the cold bean
laboratory and remarked in hoarse, in
so!ent and ironical tone of voice:
'''Nother suspicious-looking character
wants cold beans. Bib Nye, IN Boston
Globe