The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-10-21
THE MERRY SIDEI
The corn is in the shock. So is the squirrel

"The people, aw, want, aw, to be educated !"
said the political dude.
-
The Democratic party says it won't bear the
brand of Cane-nor the smell.
81 have reckoned without my host" said the
young man as he jumped a board bill.
+.<
The Soldiers were mostly Prohibitionists- at
least they were opposed to LIcE-ence.
+.s
The pork packers in Chicago have been strik-
ing. Another war with the sons of Ham.
ss+
This campaign is very hard on city dudes
who have to furnish patent brains to country
papers.
A fellow came down on the o. 8. Road one
day last week, so drunk they could not arrest
him.
"Ah, the Lord knows my heartp % said the
Evangelist"
Yes, there's the danger.
80
"f you don't vote with us, you'll be spotted~
said politician. That's the argument fly
uses.
The good man who has run on q Democratic
ticket, can never doubt that the Democrats are
free traders.
No wonder England got beaten in the yacht
race. The idea of sending Hem over here to
sail with an Eagle!
"The boy MINER" the Democratic papers call
Mcbride. The only pick John has used of late
years is tooth-pick.
One point Of difference between John Nc
Bride and other miners is that John lives by
the sweat of his jaw.
The Southern Democrats don't skin convicts.
They let them out on contracts. and let them
skin the laboring men.
If this Government wants the Fisheries ques-
ton settled, let it employ Geronimo-he's the
best diplomat we have.
-.%
Over in Kansas Prohibition agitator died
suddenly, and the post mortem disclosed that
his jaw had given out.
This is the time of year when the political
manager goes about over the country telling
what he don't know.
The Governor of Illinois says Ohio beef cattle
may come into that State now. They've quit
skinning men in Ohio.
A party must not be judged always by its
leaders. 1t is not always the leaders in a team
| that do the best pulling.
-
What pity they can't get Grover Cleveland
in the Ohio Penitentiary. They might make
Fanny Mills pair of shoes.
+.+
The Doctors declared that the bodies they re-
| ceived from the PenitentiBry had not been
skinned How did thew koou9
The Prohibiticnists seem to have reached the
conclusion that one of the old parties is as bad
as the other-and a little worse.
-
The Republicans offer you a tax law. The
Democrats offer you free whisky. The Prohi-
bitionists CDemocrats) of1er you wind.
Said fellow about one of the Republican
candidates: "He refused to give me some milk
once!" Well, he wasn't keeping saloon.
-
Democrats tried to blow up a stand erected
for Republican speakers at Nelsonville. Is
dynamite considered Mcbride argument9
The recommendation of the Democracy oi
Ohio is an empty Treasury. Do you want to
put them in again to spite the Republicans?
A Salvation Minstrel in this place, while
| mourners were being called to the bench, struck
up, on harp, They're hanging men and wo.
men there, for the wearing of the green"
%x+
The sausage-mil editorials sent out by the
State Committee, are quite attractive. They
make nice, solid appearance on paper, and
are used largely to paper out-houses with.
-
The foreign news convinces us that there are
no Democratic editors permitted in Posen. An
editor was imprisoned there for lying on Prince
Bismarck.
A Member of Council in Tifin, Ohio, was
called to McConnellsville, to preach. A mar
never gets SO hardened but the Diyine call may
reach him.
Running a Democratic ticket in Jackson
county is a good deal like keeping second
hand store e-"if there's anything here that suits
you, we'd like to trade it to you."
1t has been demonstrated, this ampaign
that. editorials may be ordered at wholesale
from Cincinnati house, just like bone-dust, ol
Babbitt's soap.
man got wonderfully happy at the Hall on
Thursday night. The mourners' bench? Oh
no. He was back in the audience. He had hi!
arms around his girl.
-.
A mechanic out west set up in business ant
advertised that he wouldn't lie, about work
Nobody would employ him. They knew hi
had had no experience.
-
The Mahoning Valley is threatened with a
water-famine But there is no cause tor alarm
There is whisky and beer enough in Hamilton
| county to drown the whole valley.
John Evans, of Lexington, KY, left his wife
and declared he "had departed from her at the
command of the Lord, )" though it is suspicionec
that the command was preceded by belt ovel
| the head by rollin g-pin.
There comes time when man wants to si
down, alone, and engage in solemn thought
1t is when his party candidate catches him Sc
cretly scratching his name from the ticket.
-
"Our brother Stephen was stoned to death =
said an Evangelist" at this place, the othel
night. He seemed to fear the avenging brick
bat, himself.
Those who are shaping temperance laws fol
the future should remember that the principa]
difference between a doggery and drugstore
the one you hide behind desk, and in the
other a screen.
The Indiana Liquor League calls for contri-
buttons to the Democratic campaign fund
That would be casting bread upon the waters
indeed. That is, it would come back to them.
-
Some of the travelling evangelists seem tc
think that the fellow who can dance the live
lest jig will create the impression that he has
| the most religion. Religion don't AFFECT man
like the jumping tooth-ache.
So"
| The Columbus Dispatch says Mrs. J. G. Blaine
| jr. "has the scalps of a number of young dudes
| hanging at her belt" That accounts for the
horriblyHcrooked and pinched aspectlaof he,
picture, as it appeared in the Dispatch recently
Judge Little. Of Xenia. threw out q challengs