The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1886-09-16
ANIMAL STUDIES.
clearinghouse Table Talk About
s.ThOse HOrrid Brutes."

"a 16UtG Aolk AO00t
Those Horrld Brutes."
What disgusting quantity of gush
is lavished on animals nowadays" said
the fat baarder.
Il know it, exclaimed Miss Smith.
crs. young lady who never, il she can
help It, permits another getting word
in cdgcwisc; Il know it! And that re-
minds me that the birds that people
rave SO about are positively wanting in
politeneSs. Could any thing be more
rude than the way they charter away
without regard to each others COM
fort Or even stopping a moment to hear
each other sing.'
..Talkin. about animals" drawled
Slendcrlegs. who sat opposite Miss
SIN tners. .horscs amt the noble ami
mals the books try to mako them out
to be. 4 horse, now, won't work I'M
less you harness him up SO he cant get
away from it. He'd rather kick round
in apa>ture till he all knocked out than
do the lightest kind of real work for
live minutes Then Slenderlegs re.
marked that he must go and practice
with the dumb-bells. "A fellow must
Go something. you known" he added,
ito keep his muscles from getting flab-
by
The landlady at this moment left of
beratlng tic cook to remark that the
most hateful creature she knew Of was
Il guinea hen; always a-screeching and
hollerng until it set her almost crazy.
II she had her way, she wouldn't let q
guinea hen live another minute: or II
they must live. she'd tic up their bills or
DO something to stop their everlasting
clack. Mary. for goodness sake. win
You ever bring that pudding in? Dear!
did any one ever see such an aggrevat-
ing g,rl in this world! No wonder nv
nerves are all rackcd into fiddle strings.
Mary. | say, Mary! Oh, you We como
at last. Why wasn't you all night about
II? You came as soon as YOU could?
Don't you tell me! There. YOU can 90!
Was there ever and SO forth. and
so forth. and SO forth.
And what thing cat is!'' re-
marked Miss Sleek. ..All a cat thinks
Of is herself. Give her all she wants Ia
eat and a soft place in the sun to lie in,
and she is as good as pic, but ruffie up
her fur the wrong way, and she'll show
her ella $ mighty quick" While she
had been talking. Miss Sleek. who sat in
the softest-cnshloned chair in the room.
looked as placid as summer landscape.
But there is tradition among the
boarders that Miss Sleek has yery
sharp tongue, and that Miss Sleek Is
possessed of q fine temper of her own.
and that Miss Sleek has very sharn
finger nails. and that Miss Sleek knows
how to use them. But boarders arc mo-
toriously spiteful creatures, and it isn't
best TO believe all they say, especially
when they say it of so gentle and pur-
ring a lady as Miss Sleek.
Then the conversation became gener-
al. The half-grown boy. who plays the
devil tattoo OH the table when he is not
whlstling yankee Doodle to the tune
Of odd Hundred" or rjce rersa. hated
old Mrs. Hubbard's parrot because Il
was so noisy; Young Noteworthy could
not abide monkey, because it only
knew enough to take off its hat and
blink; old Mr.. Fogy detcsted neighbor
Jone dog that was forever snarlino
and gruni ng at nothing; Miss Phooli.
phnlc never could bear to see q pea
cock: It was SO foolishly vain, You know;
and Miss Plump, whose figure is built
on the principle Of covering as much
Ground rs possible without regard to
~ ght, said that it fairly set her all in
ld.et to see duck walk. it waddled SO
COMMUNICATIONS Transcript.