New-York tribune., 1886-01-23
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THE TJLK or THE DAY

A,,an In Topdoo has ,eep sent 20 prison for throwina
oniors at wrsrine tail hat. Ana Mr..
Labouohers extends his sympathy TO
the condemned man, the ground that tail nat tes
most outrageous riece OF head gear ever devised and
ought to DO pcted on general principles. Talk Of
cesslers cap iDdeed he exclsis. We worship hat,
and for no earthly except that we are foois
IA stronger than Gessor its tyranny Is stronger
than that of the Swiss tyrant WHAT opportunity of
II. r. II. to beeome an English Teil!'
Any one who doubts the necessity for murzllne tho
dogs OF London shOu have bis attention dr.wn 10 iIe
fet that during sS5 there twenty-sesen Geaths
from hydropnobia In London wlue tue ayefage n the
ten precsaing years was six only Iha IacI :, th,t
raes Is TO be stamped out muzzllIs orner LOT Ioaf
months should be PROMULGATED all over she oneu hns
dom so terrible an evil is not to lie tried with
lLondon GLOBE
Mr.. slaughter. who shot his wife In Brooklyn. was
fortunately convicted OF assaul Fortunately we say,
because had been found guilty OF mahsiangher"
is horrible to contemplate the endless procession ojokes
that would have been hurled upon defehceess puOus
by the funny paragraphers of the newspapers.
AT THE DoOE.
Now comes Montana to the door
Where Union dwcs, and boldly KnocAs'
And offers now, as once before,
A Democratic ballotpox
"pease let me in she cries. 4" I'm good
And 1t Is very cold OUT mere =,
A voice within replies, We would.
But amt Dakota with you, deart
An interval and then another rap;
Dakota asks, Please let me- Union ny
walt until Montana taxes "a nap.
A voice replies, anu then Wen sip the pm
Dakota STAYS. Montana never sleeps.
While both make ugly faces weep and pout;
Each opponent within his vigil Keeps,
And whispers hopes aud Tears 10 tnose without,
columbus Dispatch
Buddenfeks New-Jersey property Is to be Sold Al
though it Is mostly and water IL is not tenement
house property; It is real estate. Buddensek knew
what was a safe investlBent--for bimselE
Men OF grit arc TO be admired Senator NabOne Of
4. ns fltaIu ,Iit
victories. He weighs only one huudf9d polhas' Ou
ninety hye Of that is solid IL grg e. !. Is Sy
with "A little old cotton string for backbone Win
coL pie OF rios sewed It, n.s Iscsrot betrayed ms
day who will 40 IL for nothing anu Oo"rd t"eSe'o'
Sam Jones.
When TIE NGw-YoRK TRIBUNE nasn't any other
subject for its hydrophobic rage 1t pitches into Jea
pavi. Iea still lives however. Baltimore Times.
Yes he stu lives, owing to the unchampled msgna-
nimity of the Rel ubllcan party. Better stag low on
that subject.
sMy dear" said Mrs. squilde, "T want new bonnet"
OF course you do, said SquildlS; but lsh Tue ono
rs good enough OF kind. bat want felt bOnuet
They coming into style again.
-" on. that's certainly mistake:
" Why is it "a mistake What 10 you know about the
Why I know that ladies object to having their
bonnet7 felt. Thsy'd rather have tien seen. ,,
aud tie money for her bonnet-lPittsbdFs 'hroh
icle-IeegrapL
New England papers arc very iohu oi pie"A"s ''o
profession or calling OF to his name IN way tbat
IA sometimes rather amusing It will not be long before
they will contain something like this: As Tailor shears
was walking along the street dag last week he was
assanl, ed by Dteher Doe had got fun in saloon
keeper Ginsng's place along with Painter Chromo Inc
assault WAS Witnessed by Druggist Mixcin Weaver
FAX Garlener Spring. wOodchOpper Jones and Team
ster Whip. Tailor Shears taken TO the honse OF
Rector Ritual, which near TT hand, and Ditcher
Doe was marched oil to the lookup by Constable
Clubber. aided by Blacksmith oledge anu Post HOO
Digger Bore. Lawyer Bre. will defend him"
Editors wile-John. tnere's burglar IN the house.
EditorI know IL, but keep Sill III get up as so0d as
he goes.
f. W.-Whars the good then -
E-What's the goodi Why. great Potter! I'll get
scoop tine other papers New Haven News.
Ex Minister benjamin says that In Persia ths ex-
ecutvs ability OF the rulers s developed 20 a hgh
degree" Mr.. Cleveland would lind himself quito as
home In Persia IEc holds it will be remembered. that
the Office OF President is essentially exocutiye."