Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-07-22
SUMNER BOARDERS.
A Rustic Hosts Experience With an Eight
DoIIar-a-Week Guest.

A Rustic Hosts Experience With an Eight
Dollar-a-Week Guest.
"Git up n ride" he said as he brought
the oxen to halt and moved along on
the seat. .sCome fur? Coin to the
village? Whoa! there, Buck, what We
'fraid of! That ere off OK allus feels as
frisky as calf and it needs old Bright
to balance him. Amt patent-right
man, are We? Thought not. Mebbe,
ye are lookin' fur summer board?"
He ratified along in an honest, con-
fidential way for few minutes longer,
and then suddenly changed the subject
by saying:
stranger, I've had experience with
summer boarders, and | wouldn't take
one into the house to-day fur forty dol
lars week. | moved up here about
ten years ago. I'd just got married to d
thunderin' smart widder, and we got
settled in our house airly in the spring.
One day when l come in from work Luz
cinda says to me.
'Samuel-that's my name, you know
I've got the brightest idea you ever
heard of. Let's take a few summer
boarders this year.
...Flies and lasses, but who be they?'
says l.
81 don't know yet. Well fix up our
two spare rooms and advertise in the
city papers to accommodate a few sum-
mer boarders. We can make CROUCH
money in three months to buy that ten
acre lot of old Johnson
but we haint got nuthin' to feed
'em on"
Indeed, we have. Them city folks
who stutls their stomachs on the rich
ness of the land VIII come out here for
change. All they'll want will be fried
eggs. oatmeal. rhubarb pie and old
fashioned sweet cake. They'll go into
fits over our old table cloths. cracked
dishes and plain furniture. They'll
swallow every thing down as rustic and
old-fashioned, and we'll charge 'em six
dollars a week apiece
81 hung off fur awhile. but Lucinda is
a great prevailer. and she finally pre-
vailed on me to giyemy consent. When
ever got spare hour | helped her
toggle up the furniture. l had to nail
up bedsteads, put extra legs to the
cheers, stop up rat-hOles, stain over the
bureau with walnut juice, and do various
other things to make ready. | give Lucin-
da two purity good boss blankets to make
rustic rugs for the floors, and we cut
up some old sheets for winder curtains,
and by the use of thirty cents worth of
red, white and blue shelf paper we made
them rooms look what you might call
Jim Dandy. Hangit, stranger, when [
cum to look 'em over felt as proud as
a peacock, and the hug | give Lucinda
brought the tears to her eyes.
''Wall, the last thing to be made was
rustic cheer, and 1 just got up and
bumped myself on it. 1t was Lucinda's
idea you know She said the city folks
had got so tired of sittin' around on the
stuffed cheers that they'd sink into
rustic cheer with grunt of satisfaction
which could be heard a mile away. [
drawed up a wagon load of limbs and
branches, bought five pounds of nails
and pound of glue, and in about a
week time [ had the all-tiredest incest
rusticest cheer you ever sot eyes on.
We put it in what Lucinda called the
Queen Anna room, and then every thing
was ready for boarders. We advertised
in the city papers to the amount of
eight dollars, and one afternoon
young. solemn-faced chap, who looked
as if he hadn't two days to live. came
padding up the dusty road in search of
summer board, and Lucinda took him
in. He looked at the rooms, and we
thought he grew more solemn. He had
some pork and Johnny cake and New
Orleans molasses and two-shillin tea
for supper. and there was no doubt OF
bis being more solemn.
81 forgit what Lucinda was to charge
that chap a week, with the privilege of
H.. ii
swamp and climbin' the dead apple
trees, but it wasn't fur from eight dol
lars. He sot around fur spell in the
evenin' to hear the lowin' of the kline.
whatever that is, and to commune with
tired natur, whatever that may be, and
then he retired to the Queen Anna
room.
stranger, we never saw that man
alive no more He didn't come down
when the pork and taters was ready in
the mornin', and after awhile went up
to arouse him, thinkin' that the lowin'
of the kline and the bellerin' of the oxen
had charmed him. He was dead
he had sot down in that rustic cheer and
oner said the cause of his death was too
ulucH TuSIicltp anu queen AnHd
"Was that the end of it?''
eyes. He hadn't penny in his
pockets, and I buried him at my own
expense. When we got back from the
burial I says to Lucinda
"Lucinda, let the city folks continer
to sot on their stuffed cheers and gorge
their stomachs with sweet cakes and
preserves. Wen Queen Anna these
du6S o,,tpr tho bOuSp and mako our
money on pumpkins Whoa, there,
you old sinner! Can't you see a
ktreaked snake without jumpin' outer
yer hide?"-M Quad IN Detroit Free
Press.