Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-08-03
SELECTED SMILES.
LANGUAGE is OFTEN A SLIPPERY
THING TO DEAL WITH.
Pertinent Paragraphs which Clever Peo-
pie Have wrltten-An American Crit

Pertinent Paragraphs which Clever Peo-
pie Have written-An American Crit
les Reyiew-Amusing ulustrations-A
| List of Curious Simiies-Stray Wit.
The child Of the past and the parent OF
the future" is not an unhappy siInile for the
present Happiness has been Iikened TO d
| ghost; all talk abcut it, but few, il any, have
ever seen it. Ambitions ladder rests against
q star, remarks a clever writer, who also
tells Us that a proverb is short truth sand
wiched between wit and wisdom
Eloquence is a coat OF many colors judi
ciously blended. No one thing will make
man eloquent Flattery has been termed a
kind OF had money TO which our vanity gives
currency. Society, like shaded silk, must be
viewed in all situations, or its colors will de-
ceive us Kindness is the golden chain by
which society is bound together, and charity
is an angel breathing on riches, while graves
have been POLITICALLY called the footsteps of
angels.
Language is a slippery thing TO deal with,
as some may find when selecting their sim
lies. Says a writer: Speak Of a mans mar
bic brow, and he will glow with conscious
pride; but allude 10 his wooden bead and he
is mad in a minute" The young lecturers
',similes were gathered in a heap" when he
expressed the whole body of his argument on
deceit in the following: "Oh, my brethren,
the snowiest shirt front may conceal an
aching bosom, and the stiffest of all collars
encircle a throat that has many bitter pill
TO swallow"
PlagiariSts are a species Of purloiners who
fitch the fruit that Others have gathered. and
then throw away or attempt to destroy the
basket
PERTINENT PARAGRAPHS.
II has been truly said that the abilities OF
man must fall short on one side or other, like
too scanty a blanket when you are in bed; if
you pull it upon your shoulders, you leave
your feet bare; If you thrust it down upon
your feet, your shoulders are uncovered. The
man, we are told, who has not anything to
boast of but his illustrious ancestors, is like a
potato-the only good belonging to him being
under ground
A man at dinner in evening dress has been
hkened to a conundrum; you can't tel
whether he is a waiter or guest A Yankee,
lean opponent, said: That man
doesn't amount TO sum in arithmetic: add
him up and there's nothing to carry" An
American critic, in reviewing a poem, said:
-The rhythm sounds like turnips rolling over
q barn floor, while some lines appear TO have
been measured with yard stick and others
with ten-foot pole"
An amusing illustration was given by
parent when asked by his boy, What is
understood by experimental and natural phil
osophyin Tho answer was: "If any one wants
to borrow money, that is experimental phil
II ha n.h ,l-sh
that is natural philosophy" Curious and
comical illustrations seem natural to many
children. A little girl, suffering from the
mumps, declared she felt as though a head
ache had slipped down into her neck. MAN.
ma, said another youngster, allading to
man WHOSE neck was a series of great rolls of
flesh, that mans got a double chin on the
back Of his neck" A little 3-year-old, in ad-
miring her baby brother, is said to have ex-
claimed: Hes got a boiled head, like papa"
CURIOUS SMILES
Talking Of curious similes-among the
southern language of India is the Teloogoo or
Telinga, so rough in pronunciation that a
traveller of the nation speaking it before
ruler of Bokhars, admitted that IS sound re-
sembled "the tossing of lot of pebbles into a |
sackn A simile for scarlet stockings is fire |
lose-laughter is the sound you hear when |
your hat blows off-and trying to 90 business |
without advertising is said to be slike wink |
ing at a girl in the dark" An unpoetical |
Yankee has described ladies' lips as the glow
ng gateway Of beans, pork, sGuerkraut and |
potatoes. This would provoke Merryats ex- |
of ~Such a metaphor l never met |
fore" Much more complimentary was the |
I'D darkyis neat reply to a beautiful young |
adv whom he offered TO lift over a gutter, /
md who insisted she was too heavy. ~Lor,
Missy" said he, use used TO lifting barrels of
ugar' Wit from q mans mouth is like a .
mouse in a hole; you may watch the hole all ,
lay, and no mouse come out; but by and by, |
when no one is looking for it, out pops the
mouse and streams across the parlor,
Marrying q woman for money, says a
philosopher, is very much like setting rat
rap and batting it with your own finger
An American writer says: "a man with
me idea always puts me in mind of an old |
,ocse trying to hatch out a paving stone"
An editors simile of a mans career is
ummed up in the line: "Man's vapor full
# woes, and starts a. paper, busts and goes"
We all recollect how the Bath waters were
associated in Welleris mind with the flavor
# warm fatirons." The humorist who
.reated that character was of.en reminded of
printers parenthesis by the appearance Of
bowiegged child; and the elongated pupils
4 a cats eve before bright light were