Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-08-20
IuslAH's POLITICAL AMBITION,
BY Josiah Aliens Wife.
Politics as She is spokon-A
FuIt Expose of the situation.

Now, only the other day, he EavcN namln'
proof OF that fire, that burus but don consume
him.
A agent came 10 our house, and, with the
bland and amlnblc air OF that sect, asked me "li
would buy u cncyclopcdy."
was favorable to the idcc, bnt Josiah was sot
nginst II and the more favorable talked about
II, the more horror struck aud skccrt Josiah AL
len looked.
And, finally, he got brhind the agent, mud
winkcd at inc, and made motions for inc to fol.
Ter him into the buttcry. lie wunk several
times before paid any attention to him but
finally, the winks grew so vilcnt, and the mo-
,ions so imporlous but clever that got up and
ollcrcd him into the buttery.
lie shut tho door, and stood with his back
nginst 1t and says he to me, with his voice fairly
tremblin' with emotion
"lt will throw you, Samanthy. You don't
want to buy It,"
could not understand what he meant
"What will throw me, and when ~ saysf.
"Why," says he, "tho oncyclopedy: you can
not ride 1t. How'd feel, to see YOU on one Of
them? 1t skccrs me to sec boy ride one and
at your age, and with your rheumatic, you'd
got throwcd, and your neck would be broke the
very first day." says he. "If you have got 10
have something more stylish and new fangle d
than the old mare, I'd ru.hcr buy you philos.
ophcr: they are casicr.goiu than an cucyclo.
pcdy, anyway"
"a philosopher 2" says I, dreamily.
"Ycs such n one as Jim Sowcrby has got."
SaysI: 'Iou mean vclocipcdc I"
Eyes. And I'll get you one, r,ither than have
you a.ridin' round the country on encyclope-
dy."
His tender thoughtfulncss touched my heart,
and explained to him all about EN-. He
thought the encycopedy was II bicycle. And
he frightened up, and didn't make no objection
after this, to my gettin' one.
Wal, that very afternoon, he came homo from
Jonesvillc all rousted up with new idec. He
wanted to be q Scnator-a United States Senator.
lie said "he had been approached on the sub.
ject."
saysI: "who has approached you, Josiah
Allen %
"wal," he said, at might be foreign Minis
ter, and 1t might be Uncle Nate Birpy. But
anyway" says he, ~ am bound to be Senator
Josiah Allen, NJ. c., will probably be wrote on
my letters before another fall. / am bound to
run"
Says I, codly: "You know you can't run
You are as lame as you can be, with the rhcum-
atiz."
Says he: ~ mean, runnin' with political
legs"
At that, I laughed.
"Now, you needn't laugh" he said, Grossly
.'for do want to be n Senator, Samnnthy-l
want to, like Il dog. want the money there Is
in it, and want tho honor. You know, they
have elected me Path Master agin but aint
a.goin' to accept it. tell you, when anybody
gets into political life, ambition rousts up in
'em. Path Master don't satisfy mc-J want to
be Senator. And 1 aint going to tackle the
job as some do, and act too good"
NO." says /, sternly, there aint no danger
of your bein' too good"
NO." says he "I have laid my plans, and
laid 'em careful, Most men, runnn' for high
Office, are too willin, too clever; and witness
in their campaigns hns learnt me deep lessons
am goin' to act oflish. feel that onishness is
my strong holt and endearin' myself to the
masses. Educatin' public sentiment up to low
in me- and urgin' me not to be so ollish and to
oblecge them by takin' n ofice-them is my
two strong holts, and they are goin' to elect me,
In spite of the old Harry"
oh how that oath grated aginst my nerve
and says:
"You never would be elected, Josiah Allen
II they was to hear you swear, every decent man
would vote aginst you."
"Oh, yes, should. Unless the wimmen in
| terfered, unless the wimmen bossed their hus
bands at the polls, as they'll do when they gel
what they call their rights" Aud he contin
ued, dreamily: "There wosld h ave to be con
siderable wirepullin'."
"Where would the wir,i be?" says I, sternly
"And who would pull em."
"oh most anywhere" ,"hyi Ii, lookin' dream.
Iy nntn tbn it.b naI ,s ,,ir
liable to be let down anywhere through the
plasterln'.
Says L: SHOULD you have to go to pullin
wires 7'
"Of course should" says he.
"Wal," says l, "you may as we'll make up
your mind, in the first ont, that aint a.goin'
to give my consent to have you go into any
thing dangerous and pullin' wires sounds like
a circus. And aint a-goin' to have you per-
formin' and breakin' your neck at your age"
Says he: 81 don't know but my age is rs
good an age to break my neck in as any other
never sot any particular age to break my neck
in. And you don't understand it, samanthy
The wires aint pulled by the hands you pull
| EN- with your minds"
"oh, wall" says l. brishtoulng up, lyon are
all right, in that case (; you won't pull hard
enough to hurt you any,"
| knew the size and strength OF his mind lest
as II had took 1t out and weighed 1t on the
steelyards. 1t was not over and above large.
knew 1t, and he knew that knew 1t. But he
knew, also, that my love for him lowered up
like dromedary and moved on through life as
stately us she did-the dromedary. Josiah Al
len is my choice out of II world full OF men.
But to resoom. Josiah says (which side
had better go on, Samanthy? Would you run
as Democrat, as used to be, or Stalwart, or
Half-breed, or n Mugwump? Or would you
| be Moonshiner? want to be with the side
that wins. Don't talk to me, any more, of prin
| ciplcs in politics."
| Saysl: Josiah Allen, haven't you any prin
cple? Don't you know what side you are on ,
wal, yes, spose know as near as men IN
| general But 1t Is human nature to want to b,
on the side that BEATS"
| rithed, and murmered instinctvely:
George Washington %
| George Granny |" says he.
| Says ], rithin: at Is bad enough, Josial
| Allen, to have you talk about runnin' for Sen
ator and pulin' wires, and etcetery. But, oh |!
my agony ofsole, to think my partner is dcstl
tute OF principle. l respected you Josiah ever
when didn't agree with you. But then l
thought you had principle"
~ have got as much principle as most politi
cal men have. and you'll find 1t out 30. an
goln to work as they all do. Hut winner
amt got no knack for business they dom
look out for the profits Of things as men do"
l didn't say nothin'. But now anothe
thought struck me SO right In the breast that /
most knocked me over. 1t ha'nted me all tina
day and all that night. s'posen Josiah AlleI
would be elected didn't really think h,
would. But still knew strange things tool
place In pollilcks. Strange men run, and rnr
far. And, oh MS / meditated on the awfulnes
OF that place rs 1t had been depictured to me,
dast not-I dast not--have him go.
| thought OF the powerful blasts of tcmptn
ton that blowed through them broad streets
and thought OF the light weight of his bone!
and principles; and felt that he would in Il
moral sense, DO lifted up and blown away
bones. principles and all. And trembled.
At last, this Idea knocked 30 firm aginst tn,