The Opelousas courier., 1886-05-15
CELESTIAL HUMOR.
Some illustrations OF Chinese
wit and Fun.
Stories With a Familiar Ring, and Others
With an Oriental Flavor.

OASA - O1iAiSDS hIASSSAotSh7s ~
locted from the "Hsiao Lin Kuang," or
"Book of Laughter" some of which are
interesting because they are identical
with stories familiar to western c%iviliza-
ton, while others have a peculiarly Celes-
tial accent:
Two persons standing over a stove OH a
cold day, warming themselves, were over
heard indulgingin the following dialogue:
No. 1, a~pathetie, and given to verbiage,
addressed No. 2, reputedly hot-tempered
and decisive, whose clothes he noticed
smoldering, as follows: "My dear friend,
there is something | would like to speak
to you about; | have seen it for some
time, and all along have wanted to tell
you, but as people say your temper IS
fiery, I hesitated; on the other hand, if l
do not speak you may be the loser, so l
have come to the conclusion at last to ask
your permission to do So" "Out with
it," said the other. "Well, your clothes
are burning" mildly continued No. 1.
'SWhy the deuce" cried No. 2 in a pas
sion, as. heebserved considerable damage
already done, "could you not speak at
once?" Its true then what people say;
what temper he has got" muttered No. 1,
as he lazily moved off.
The following is told of an incorrigibly
idle offspring of a literary father: A
youngster, having a great disinclination
to study, was shut up in a closet, with
strict injunctions to apply himself. Steal
ing near, the parent, to his delight, heard
the boy droning over his book, and was
presently still more pleased by hearing
the supposed student exclaim: II I'M
derstand it" The excited father rushed
in, crying out, Il am proud, my son, that
you have at last mastered that work"
eyes" said the boy, Il always thought
books were written, but to-day l have
discovered they are printed"
"Come home to dinner" cried a good
housewife to her husband at work in a
field. "All right" he shouted, "as soon
as / have hid my hoe" At dinner his
wife demonstrated with him for shouting
so loudly about hiding his hoe. II am
certain" said she, ''the neighbors have
heard you, and someone has already stol.
en- it," Struck with the remark, the man
returned to the field, and sure enough the
hoe was gone. On returning to his house,
and impressed with the wisdom of her
previous caution, he whispered into his
wife's ear, ttThe hoe is stolen"
The following impromptu, though con
sequent on a fall, can not be looked on as
the outcome of deficient understanding.
A man stumbled and fell. Trying to
rise, he again fell. Hang it., he cried,
sif had known / was to fall again, l
would not have tried to get up"
A woman was tanning the corpse Of her
husband, and being asked by the neigh
bors why she famed a dead man in the
middle of winter, she replied: My hus-
bands last words were, Wife wait till /
Inn cold before you marry again.
The feminine propensity for concealing
age, and resenting impertinent questions
in regard to it, is common to all times
and nationalities; but this does not de-
tract from our admiration of the trick by
which the truth was got at In the follow
ing instance: A man newly married,
thought when his wife unveiled for the
first time, that she looked rather old and
wrinkled. Telling her SO, he asked her
real age, when she replied, as or 49,"
HfYou wrote in the marriage contract 80
years, . said he, ''but you look ever more
than 45 OF 49, At last she admitted 81:
The husband was still doubtful; so he be-
thought himself of a stratagem for get
ting at the truth. Jumping up he said,
Il must cover up the salt before going to
bed, or else the rats will eat it all before
morning" "Well," said bis wife, laugh
ing, II have heard. of and seen many
strange things in the sixty-elght years of
my life but I never saw or heard Of rats
eating salt before
A noted liar once told a friend that he
had at home three precious things; a bull
lock which could run one thousand Ii d
day /; a fowl which crowed at the begin
ming Of each watch, day and night, and a
dog that could read books. The friend
intimated that he would lose no time in
seeing, with his own eyes, these marvels.
The man did not expect this, as his
house was somewhat distant; SO he went
home and told his wife that he had got
caught at last, and that tomorrow the
would arrive and he would be dis
graced. Never mind said his spouse,
s'leave that to me; it will be all right;
only you must keep out of sight" Next
morning the visitor arrived, and, being
met by the mistress, asked where her
husband was. He has gone to Pekin,n
she replied. 'sWhen will he be backaa
sIn eight or nine days" AsWhy, how
can he be SO quick2" He has gone off on
fast bullock, and can do it easily
u hear you have also q wonderful fowl"
said the visitor, and, behold, as he was
speaking, q small cock crew. 'sThat's
it, said the wife, sfhe crows at the be-