The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-06-24
A PROBLEM SOLVED.
A Kind Physician Removes .
Troublesome Mother-in-Law.

A young man of about thirty years Of
age stepped slowly along one of the
principal streets of the metropolis. He
was of an elegant and interesting pres.
ence. He gazed absent-mindedly into
the show-windows to his right, and
seemed lost IN thought.
Good morning, Edmund" called a
gentleman apparently ten years his
senior and of compact figure, with a
full black beard, who was coming to-
wards him. ..This is the first time ]
have seen you since your marriage, and
it confirms the sad aphorism that a
young husband forgets nothing more
easily than his friends. Do not inter-
rupt me, for I intend no reproaches,
since / am aware of your happiness.
You have married the prettiest girl in
town, and / think you are too sensible
not to agree with me when l say that
her money is no drawback. Poverty
makes no n happy, and riches do no
harm, you know"
Over the handsome face of Mr.. Ed.
mund Hagen, the person addressed,
fitted a weak smile.
doctor, l do not say that you are
not right" he answered; ''but money
can not do every thing. l am happy
yet"
He did not finish the sentence.
"Yetp" repeated DIR. Henry Brose,
who vas a physician of note. This
word betrays the fact that your happi-
ness has some kind of unpleasant after
taste. What do you mean by this
YETI"
..Nothing-nothingi" said Hagen.
ssThis won't do, CONTINUED Brose. 81
do not require a confession; but an old
friend should not be cut off short in this
way. Where does it pinch?"
.Nowhere-nowhere!" cried Hagen,
half out of humor. MY happiness
would be complete, were not the mother
Of my wife"
"Aha! The mother-in-lawl" broke in
the doctor. s'You have always de-
scribed her to me as a most excellent
person."
..She is all that / consider herr para
gon of a woman and mother"
my dear Hagen, then 1 do not un-
derstand you."
my wife is an angel. Every day ]
learn to esteem and owe her more y
continued Hagen. my mother-in-law
is a very excellent woman; kind, COM
plant, self-sacrificing. She does every
thing to please me, yet"
again this mysterious yeti" broke
in the doctor. .Pray, speak intelligi.
bly,"
Il do speak in%telligibly," said
Hagen. .sShe fosters and cherishes me
as her son and favorite. Every morn
ing she prepares for me most delicious
coffee; at noon, she selects for me the
most delicious tidbits; in the evening,
she cuddles me like a child; she spoils
met"
well. that is not SO terrible" said
Brose, laughing.
But she never leaves us alone to-
getherr" burst out Hagen, at last.
THAT is, indeed, unpleasant"
She means it all right; but it is very
painful for me-" continued Hagen.
..She. loves my wife distractedly, be-
cause she is her only child, and this
reconciles me to the conditions again
and again; but this love becomes un.
comfortable, since my wife can not sep.
arate from her mother, either. 1 re.
joiced like a child in anticipation of ou1
wedding trip. I had to give it up, be.
cause my wife insisted that her mother
should accompany u.s."
'You acted yer prudently," said
Brose, in his dry, earnest manner.
YES, / was defrauded of my wedding
trip, and now I am being swindled oul
of my honeymoon continued Hagen,
even o passionately. "My wife car
not part from her mother, nor the
mother from her child. / have otter
the feeling as though l were not the
husband Of my wife or master in my
own housed"
Edmund, this is a bad state of af
fairs" said the doctor, stroking hi.
beard with his right hand. ..You ar
all of you suffering from too much, and
] may add, perverted, affection. But
have al idea! How would it do to marry
your mother-in-law to somebody Sh,
is not forty yet, is well preserved,
handsome woman, and, to one who ha(
not seen her certificate of baptism, sh,
would appear thirty at the most"
Are You madP" cried Hagen.
"Why?"
.tMy wife is the only heir of he,
mother, to whom the entire propert,
belongs. Should she marry again W,
might perhaps be left with a trifing in
he~ritance."
"You are right. Let us not get he
married, then. But l would willingl,
be of assistance to you in this crisis O
your callow marital felicity.'
..You cant" said Hagen. 'Vist m,
this evening-frequently-every ever
ing! My mother-in-law is a refined
cultured, amiable lady. Entertain your
self with her. l am certain you viii
not pass the time unpleasantly. l know
you like Rudesheimer. / have an ex
cellent vintage of this brand. One
two, three bottles are at your servic
every evening. will see that O hav
the very finest Havanas, and you vii
have no other duty than that of enter
tanning my mother-in-law. SO that m
wife and 1 can have an hour to oul
selves. Are you agreed?"
..Of .course!" cried the doctor laugh
ing.
"And you will come this EVENING""
.Certainlyr
'Ano tne IoloWlng evening, o
Every evening! 1t is no great sacri
fee"
but you are doing me a great fs
vor," said Hagen, while he grasped hi
friends hand and pressed it warmly
'.You are putting to flight the only clou
that thus far has troubled my happ
ness"
Il viii bring back the sunshine. Yo
will be satisfied with me-" answere
the doctor.
"But you must not betray by a singl
word the fact that l have occasione
your coming"
..My dear Hagen, have you ever foun
me so weak ~ TO gossip more tha
was supd9"