Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-01
BRIGHT BITS.

HENRY HACKErT. Of Shawntown, complains
10 an Albany paper that he recently spent an
AFTERNOON with some members OF the Leglsa-
tive lobby, and was "drugged, blindfolded
ana robbed" We don't understand the drug
ging and blindfolding part Of the story
Puck.
CHANPoIREAU, who has been violent Re
p publican suddenly changes around and be
opinions ike shirt" said one OF his old po-
mica friends. reproachfully.
=, 81, 40 you want me TO keep one shirt ON
all the time when hnd 1t has become soiledF'
answered Champoireau. The other had
notoinR to saya--Frsnch Comment.
'GYNBPHoBIA" is a new word which signi-
mes 1.-The condition of men who have a cOnsti-
tutional horror of the fair sex " fIne of the
times When young man Is seized with gyne
phobla is when he enters 4 church fair and
sees half dozen members OF the fair sex
bearing down upon him to solicit subscrip
tions for sewing machine or a melodeon for
Inc pastors Wife.--NOrrfstotOn Herald.
ETHELBERTA-I want O pair of slippers for
pa. Number Tens, please. and-squeaky.
Gental ACCOMPLISHMENTS, missp Hm
afraid we haven't any Of that kind.
Ethelberta-l am 30 sorry Couldn't you
make MIN squeaky pair? There is a certain
Young gentleman " no visits me frequently.
and-and It would be very convenient for
him to know just when pa is coming.
GeLDht0 Call.
MRS. o'FLAHERTY and her Celestial oppo-
nCuO III Tue adu0ITy business en- GFeQ INTO q
considerable of fracas. at the conclusion of
which the Chinaman found himself pretty
badly used up. Tho papers the ensuing day
merely alluded TO It. with the note that Mrs.
O'Flaherty bad serious difficulty with Wan
Lung; upon which one of her nationality
wrote her: ''Shure, Mary, an this is ad news,
so it is. Did VI ever thry DOcther Cure-em-
aips remidy for that same thrOuble?"-P
burg Commercial.
''WHAT's THATg" asked Bibo, as the doctor
brought out peculiar-looking instrument.
Was wSat'.it 'ff 6yygl
ITO look down the PATIENTS throat with"
anxiously.
''Nonsense," said Mrs. Bibo, 1.-THE doctor
doesn't use laryngoscope to look into a DIS
t1llery." And BibO turned away his head
breathed slowly and softly in the direction Of
the hre-place .-Br00hlVR EaJJs.
DURING the absence of Mrs. Yerger the
cooking of Matilda SNOWFALL has not been
giving entire 81. satisfaction ton Col ferger SAID
of cooking just simply amt going to do.''
Nv hats dat yer sayg'
81 say your blankety blank cooking amt
worth continental. l don't propose to pay
you $40 month to burn up good victuals.ra
sand want to tell you sumfin. You mustn't
talk ter dis culled lady in dat tone OF voice.
l want yer ter understand dat yer mustn't talk
ter me as il yer was talkin' to your wife,
TeDds SVttnSs.
nv A0h pay hhO lN Act part itb MAR III inc
middle, nor dress liz an Anglican dude;
When he goes TO party with Meigs or Nc
g Carthy. he never 10 noisy or rude.
Helives in frugRlity and sweet conjugality,
ir and wantspie but two times day:.
/ Hesnever cate 0htonsnor treads on your bum
4 "a ions, nor groUls when you get in his way.
He's wise and he's witty, persevsring and
- gritty. and has magnificent head;
Hes all light and sweetness, he's Thorough
completeness. he's perfection in short
but mes dead! Lynn UhSoN.
would WAIT.-Editor of country paper ito
publlsher)-I wishthe mail would hurry up
and come. If | don't get some exchanges
pretty soon I'll have TO hold back the paper or
I'LL uD with OrIginal matter.
Publisher (who well knows the editors
original matter)-Hold back the paper.
"HOw long?"
how long is the mail likely to be de-
lRyed?'
"rwo days, perhaps"
''Well, wait foriit."
81 can ill up with original matter"
"Yes, and thsHz the reason | want you to
wait. '-Tee1s Sifti0gs.