davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
IN COUNTY CORK.
The True Irishmsn the Most Approachablt
of Human Beings.

The True Irishmsn the Most Approachable
of Human Beings.
The diet of the Irishman in this part
of the country is. of course. potatoes
and milk. As he himself puts it, he
has potatoes twenty-one times week.
In the event of blight, such as the
historic one, the result in certain parts
of Ireland could scarcely be less disas-
trous than at any former period. If
one may judge by the physique of its
consumers, the diet requires no recon-
mendation of the medical faculty, for
a more stalwart race it would be diff
cult to find. In this corner of the
country so long preserved" we
should expect to find the natural Irish
man, and we certainly found him. The
native Irish is almost universally
spoken. but at the same time the ma
jority of the younger generation speak
English with brOgue of the most eX-
quisite flavor. Here, also, we have the
lrishman in the typical attire to which
caricaturists have accustomed us. To
the visitor from the other island, it is a
ludicrous picture to see him in tall hat.
blue-tailed coat and knee-breeches at
work in his wretched plot, like phi
losopher out for little recreation. 1t
is not so much the style of his gar
ments, however, that makes his pictur-
esqueness; it is their positively miracu-
lous raggedness. We feel that
this raggedness has quite passed
the stage of disreputability. and has
actually become ornamentation. But
it is, above all, the hat that fixes the at
tention. We have often closely in
spected it and our wonder never
ceased how, in the course of single
life, any hat, however weather-beaten
and however brutally used, could at
tain that pre-Adamite look. 1t is the
great charm of travel in Ireland that
one can become acquainted with its
people in SO short a time and on such
easy terms. The Irishman is the most
apprOachable of human beings, and as
the very Irishman the stranger wishes
to know is in most cases his own lord
and master, intercourse is thus made
dOubly easy. If in the course of Il
solitary walk you should desire the
solace of a little conversation, you have
bat to take your seat on one of the
turf walls that form the fences in these
parts of the country. If You are a
smoker and produce your pipe, you
will present an additional inducement
Before you are well seated you will be
saluted with: "a fine day, sir, God be
praisedI' and a careless figure will be
seen approaching with spade or pick
axe over his shoulder. Sharing your
tobacco with him, it will remain with
Yourself to conclude the interview.
Before ten minutes have passed you
will have had the outlines of his family
history and his views on things in
general, not even excepting his priest.
At the end of as many hours CONVEX
sation as you please he will speed you
on your way with fervent ''God pre-
serve you long" and part with you as
if you had been his lifelong friend
Chambers Journal
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
a MONSTER VESSEL.
Design of Steamship Which is to Cross
the Atlantic in Eighty Hours.

the Atlantic in Eighty Hours.
And now comes Prof. r: H. Tburston
with a paper suggesting that a ship
can be built that will cross the Atlantic
Ocean in a little less than three and a
half days, the average speed of the new
ship being forty-seven miles per hour.
The leviathan suggested by Prof.
ThurSton as the ship to cross in eighty
hours, he makes 800 feet long, 80 feet
beam, of % feet draught and $4,000
tons burden. To make the speed of
the Oregon, such 4 vessel, under rule
of naval architecture, would require
81, 900 horse power, as against $4,000
in the smaller steamer. The law is
that to double that speed, or raise it to
40 knots, eight times the power needed
for 90 knots would be required; but in
asmuch as the law of resistance becomes
much more favorable at these higher
rates of speed, Prof. Thurston fixes the
limit of the probable power required at
100000 horse power.
The weight of the steam machinery
for the new ship he estimates at 800
tons, or the total tonnage of the Oregon,
and the consumption of coal at 175 tons
an hour, 5000 tons day. or 10000
for the voyage. The weight of fuel
and machinery would therefore be
$4,000 tons. Allow $4,000 tons, or,
according to the present construction,
about one-third of the total displace-
ment. for the weight of the hull, and
5000 tons would be left for passengers,
crew and cargo.-G00dqLrS Sun.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

"knew they would be late" and they all
ran for it.
Arrived at the depot, Jones was hot, the
starch was fading from his collar, and
they found that the train didn't leave for fl
teen minutes. They got seated, the chill
dren scattering over the whole side OF the
car. Just as Jones had got settled down
to cool and wipe the perspiration from his
brow, and the bell was ringing for the
train to start Mrs. Jones discovered
that she had forgotten the tickets, Zach
eus was out on the platform, and Maria
had her finger squeezed in the window.
Jones made a dive for Zacheus and dis
concerted the provender basket; Mrs.
Jones init for" Maria and knocked her
hat out of the window, while Nebuchad-
neEzar cried and jumped up and down on
fat lady's toes But at last tney got ad-
iusted; Jones snatched Zacheus into the
train, Mrs Jones found the tickets in her
hand and Nebuchadnezzar sat down in an
old lady's lap.
When they arrived at the park Jones
got together the basket, the shawls and
parasols. with the exception OF some they
afterward found at the railroad Office in
the city. Mrs J. took the children in tow,
except three that fed out of the other end
of the car and got lost in the crowd. AS
Jones got on the platform he discovered
Zachariah balancing on a plank that
crossed the ditcA and heard Mrs. Jones
shrek:
"For Heavens sake, Zacheus, come out
from under that CARP
Jones was never SO put ont in his life
and yelled, with his hair standing on end
and blood IN his eyes
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
ABILENE REFLECTOR
THE HUBBITE AND HIS SON.

~How big, papa, is Sullivan.
That people call him great?
as he as big as mas mamma
And can he shy a plateT
20. no, my son, about as big,
Perhaps. as Paddy Ryan;
His skill il is that makes him great
When with him gloves you try on.
~-'His skill so great? ] know his name
Is famed in Boston circles,
And that his dukes when clad with mitts
Resemble shells OF turkles.
But can he knock one silly, pa,
This hero of our Hub.
Or are the stor es that / read
Sensational 1ubdub?'
They're true, my son; he's Boston's pride
Fame clusters round his name;
A glory almost deihed
Because, you know, he's game.
We can not all be Sullvans,
Nor with him ever cope.
Nor pose as A iax in the show.
But where there's sand there's SOAP"
But pa, If / to Harvard went,
Or even unto Yale.
Could ] not hope TO learn to spar
And make the people quail?'
80. yes. INV son perhaps you might,
But better learn to pitch
Good pitchers snatch the Whyness
From the baldeSt-headed Which"
Merchant TrdUeler.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

gle, there Is no day in tho calendar fraught
with SO much and so diverse interest.
There is no use talking, the Fourth OF
July dOuble-discounts any thing in the
line of a holiday yet familiar to the
American mind. 1t is on the Fourth OF
July only that the American heart makes
its most formidable demonstrations OF
patriotism and shows up what itcan do. "
And the American heart, by the way-not
to speak boastfully-is capable of consid-
cradle. All it wants is a chance; and that
chance the Fourth affords
The Fourth presents as many different
phases as the moon, according to preiu-
dices, favorable or otherwise, through
which tits observed, and these depend large
~ upon the age, nerves and property in
volved of the person conducting the OBJ
servation. Some it must be confessed, do
not possess that patriotic spirit which
should temper their Judgment. Many, it
is possible, look upon the national day as
a necessary evil-as grievous as the re-
turn OF lady's birthday alter forty; some
hail it's approach as the harDinger OF ex-
guisite delight-the glad tidings of great
Joy; while many, it is probable, diligently
strive to persuade themselves that it is a
blessing in disguise, deiuding themselves
with the fanciful idea that somewhere in
this holiday there turks an indescribable
pleasure which only the continuous ''fizz"
of 'squibs" and other distracting agents
prevent them from discovering. To such
as thus make a chimera of Fourth of July
joys, it is scarcely necessary to remark
that their expectations are never realized
the delusive vail OF powder smoke and sui
phurous odors scarce ever rises sufficiently
to reveal the hidden joys or dispel the
illusion.
To those who look upon this glorious
anniversary merely as an aggravated
outbreak of feeling aad fire-crackers, it is
probable that no class is more conspicu-
Gus than mothers. The regulation Ameri-
can mother, it may be said without ex.
aggeration, looks upon the Fourth as a
terror, a sort of epidemic of punk, pow
der and disfigured small-boys; or an i'm
personated DESTROYER of youth, sizzling
with hot breath and red rockets, going
about with "nigger- chasers," and hor-
rible gun-wads, seeking small-boys to de-
YOUR. The average females conception of
the Instruments of destruction used by
this boy-exterminator, it can not be de-
MED, are somewhat vague; she does not
know whether it be punk or gun-wads
that constitute the most formidable
demolishers of boyish thumbs and ears.
or whether it be "squibs" or torpe-
docs that most insidiously puncture
the youthful flesh and despoii the
comeliness of the childish coun-
tenance, but she has an idea that
any OF the fiery mediums through
which the exuberance of the Young Ameri-
can finds vent are wretched denominations
likely to Ego Off at any moment, and she
abhors them accordingly. In this, it must
be admitted with chagrin, the American
mother does not entertain that noble and
unselfish devotion to country that actuated
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
SURVIVED The SHOCK.
How a Rich Lover Won the Girl Who Ha
Tilted Him.

How a Rich Lover Won the Girl Who Had
Tilted Him.
A tall man with a somber look on his
face entered Major Msckelvanes private
Office, and stammered:
major, have most unpleasant tidings
to communicate; try and nerve YOURSELF
What is it? Ny house on fire2"
$40, Major. worse; far worse Your
daughter-my dear sir, prepare yourself
your daughter has brought disgrace on
your proud house by eloping with the
gardener"
''She has, Ell? Take cigar with me
I'm going to have a holiday. That
gardener she refused three weeks ago
when he was an honored guest, worth
eight hundred thousand dollars, go he dis
guised himself with hoe and a straw hat,
and inside of two hours she asked him to
elope with her. l desire to say hurrah- ~
ST. Louis Whip.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

who held it to be grand for their offspring
to lose their ears, fracture their limbs,
spill their blood, and in extreme cases,
even get killed, and be brought home on
shields (ior they didn't use shutters in
those days) dead-dead for their country.
Mothers at the present day have entirely
eschewed the fascinating pleasure of glad
ly letting their sons die-even on the
Fourth. What is true of American moth
ers is largely true of American fathers.
The primitive love of country seems to
have waned in the human heart. That
grand and heroic devotion to ones native
land. which, in the days of traditional
poetry and song, prompted men to yield
their lives on the altar of their country,
to hew their ways into the thickest of the
fight, and there, sinking exhausted in pools
OF blood, give up the ghost at the shrine of
patriotism, or NOW a swath through
battling columns and die protecting the
body OF fallen chief or kings no longer
emulated by fathers in real hfe, in their
own persons, nor is it looked upon with
especial favor By them when exhibited BY
sons; indeed, in most cases, it appears to
have become distasteiul to fathers to see
their sons shoot off their ears and MAIN
themselves in working of, with cannon aud
crackers, the wild frenzy OF their patriotic
devotion.
Old maids and old bachelors-two classes
of people totally unlike and yet in whom
there appears a strange analogy-are,
equally, with fathers and mothers, averse
to Fourth oi-Julys. The explanation of
their disaffection probably lies in the
fact that their temperaments won't stand
the racket.
To tell the truth, the pleasures of Fourth
OF July seem, to the greater part of the
race, idealistic and iIlusory; there is sort
OF effort to get some fun out OF what isn't
bit funny 1t is like fooling with an
electrical machine. So that the only por-
ton OF the population to whom the
Fourth OF July comes with real unadulter-
ated delight is the young-and this means
especially
Christmas is more properly the girls
holiday. but the Fourth eminently belongs
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

onade tub that the Sunday super
intendent was attending to.
But they did have a nice. regular picnic
dinner. Mrs. Jones spread the cloth, in the
middle of which the chow chow had depos-
tied itself. Jones made the lemonade
'he was q regular screamer at that" he
ssid-and put a bucket OF water around
two lemons. Then he strained the flies out
OF the milk and fished the spiders out of
the ice cream. Then Mrs. Jones made him
put on his coat ito come to the table. OF
course" and they all sat down cross
legged and uncomfortable and had q most
delicious feast OF pickles and cake, ice
cream and sardines. When it came time
to go home Zacheus and Nebuchadnezzar
had run away. and somebody said they'd
gone swimming, which threw Mrs. Jones
into spasms and cold chills into Jones.
But he set Mrs. Jones to picking up the
things while he went to find the boys,
whom he found all right, except that
Zacheus had burned the knee out of his
best pants with ''squib. " and Nebuehad-
nezzar had left his coat somewhere.
They reached the train ten minutes after
everybody else had got there, and had to
stand up all the way home Jones with his
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
ENTIRELY Free from Pa.n.

"And how's your father now-a-days?N
asked an Eastern woman OF her friend
whose pater lived in Kansas Il trust the
old gentleman and the rest of the family
do not suffer as much from rheumatism as
formerly"
no. they don't Father writes that
since the last tornado out there, there
isn't e pane In the houss."-TfdBits
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
..yvbare did winon. drollo-

1.-The pretty squaw and Little Coon
lived eighty years together in this grand
forest. They led the free life of the
red man. and but little time ago Wi
mona died, leaving her old and feeble
companion alone. She died in this very
lodge, and is buried beneath the pines.
Then you are the companion?"
"Yes, | am Little Coon, the Chippe-
wa. &C. Leon Meredith, in Detroit Free
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
No More Swearing for Him.

You say the trout weighed ten
pounds?"
Eyes, sir; it was the biggest trout ever
saw"
"And it got away from your"
yes"
"Will you take an oath to that"
'1'Il take no more oaths; Iswore enough
about it when it got aTay."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

to the boys. There is no doubt that IN
the Fourth OF July young America"
finds fullness OF joy-nn illimitable, alb
sorbing. satisfying pleasure-that knows
no counterpart That this JOY is peculiar
to and inseparable from the day itself is
manifest from the fact that there is not a
cents worth OF fun in firing fire-crackers
, the day after the Fourth. and the only
enjoyment that attaches to it a week or
SO before is in anticipation OF the surpaSs-
ing Joy to come. This anticipation is like
that which precedes a picnic or a school
vacation, ouly magnihed to about the
four-hundrsdth power.
There never was boy vet in the full
vigor OF boys tireless physical possibili-
ties who did not wish by gol," that to-
morrow was going to be. the Fourth, and
who did not wish further that every day
for week was going to be Fourth"
making sort of series ofparental ''terrifi-
cations" and juvenile hilarities Ut is
scarcely necessary to remark that there
never was a parent who did not heaye
sigh and thank his or her stars that the
Fourth was safely over.) Ii some boy
could have been a boy from the first
Fourth OF July celebration up to this one
hundred-and- tenth recurrence of the ma
tional patriotic CONFUSION, it is perfectly
safe to assert that that boy would have
lost not a single iota of his JOY in the cele-
bration, and would come up fresh and
smiling (if he hadn't got killed Off to this
anniversary, as ready and eager to ram
down." touch OF, etc, as he was the
first day he ever 'let one go off in his
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

'.Zachariah, climb out OF that ditch. or
III tan your Internal little skin, F" and thea
he stood Zacheus on his head for about a
minute.
But when they reached the grove and
Jones had got a halter on Zachens, aad
they found nice shady place where the
sun would strike su<er than guns in about
fifteen minutes. Jones began to feel easier
in his mind and sat down to view the stu
alton, just where somebody had spilled
some lemonade; but it did not matter-he
got right up, and only swore. Mrs. Jones
took napkin and made the grass stain
on his aft quarter about loot square.
Then he stood up in the sun to let his
pants dry, and said:
by George, Mrs Jones, Fourth OF
Julys amt what they're cracked up to-
Great Scott. there's Nebuchadnez-," and
he hauled him, heels first, out OF the lem
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

This is the style in which the Deni-
son (Tex.) Net0s described two of the
young bloods of that town at a ball:
Walter Nevins wore polka-dot tie,
and Jim Simpson was just too-utterly-
too-too for anything"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

Experiments are being made IL
Philadelphia in the breeding of six
worms from eggs of worms bred in tn
country.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
ENTIRELY TOO LATE.

A Detroit Micawber Who Waited Too
Long Before Turning Up Something.
There was an exultant smile on his
face as he walked into the office of a
well-known capitalist, and there was a
proud ring in his voice as he said:
"For twenty years L have lived from
hand to mouth, waiting for something
to turn up. 1t has finally came. l have
made n discovery which, if you will
back it with few hundred dollars, will
give us both fortunes.
State your case.
"Well. sir, / have discovered that
banana Feelings can be utilized for all
kinds of table jellies. A peck of old
peelings can be made to bring forth
twelve tumblers of the finest currant
iell. and the profit is -"
Hold on right there" interrupted
the capitalist; '.you are just two years
too late. A chap in Chicago not only
discovered that, but he found way to
work in apple rinds and cores and or
ange peel, and we can't infringe on his
patent
Its no use. I'd like to see you get
along, but you must drop that Don't
be discouraged, however. Perhaps you
can discover way to make pressed
corn beef out of old boot legs. All you
want is machine to run in the streaks
of fat. Detroit Free Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

hand"
Notwithstanding
our ancestors are
wont to tell US
that they knew
nothing OF fire
crackers and torpe-
does, but used to
amuse and main
thems elves with
anvils and blunder-
buses, or flint
locks, while tho
smaller children
amused themselves
with slices OF GIN
ger b re d and
Jumps OF brown
sugar; we are prone
to believe that they
must nave known
something of the
joys that lie coiled
up in a pin-wheel,
or, atleast, if these
W ere forei gn t %
tn cir acqua int
ance that they
must have found q
Joy somewhat like
that OF the modern
boy, who, at two
a. m. of the morn
ing Of "the glori-
GUS, stealthiiy
the village church
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
CO TO THE
Western Home Nursery
~ Miles North OF

For your Fruit and Ornamental Trees. con
sistrng of the following kinds of Trees. Vines
etc: Apples Peach, Pears, Plums, Cherry.
Ounce, Ap-icots Crab Apples, Juneberries.
Raspoerries. RlackDc2ries, Strawberries, Cur
rants, Gooseberres, Pie Plant, and al kinA
Of snade Tres and Flowering Shrubs, Ever
green's, Crespers. Climbing Vines, etc. Early
Illinois Potatoes, two weeks earlier than tDe
Early Rose or Early Vermont; COOKS Dry and
meafy: can use them when only half groW0
/ will guarantee potatoes large enough 70 nae
IN SIX weeks from time Of planting.
II you need anything in the above nne 30
VA NV money By calling on or addressing
L EicHoLTZ, Detrols, kaa.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01

climbs the staircase to the village church
belfry and, with hall dozen companio ms,
startles the slumbering town with the dis
cordant pegls of the cracked bell, and
then fees with precipitate haste and
boisterous laughter, to hide away and by
and by venture back again to wake the
echoes, growing bolder and holder when
no one comes, until at last, with perfect
unrestraint, he shiyers the air until the
sun comes up. and, by rousing to life Of
day the village people, dspels the fun that
consisted solely in the mischief Our an
cestors enjoyed this sport; SO did we; so
do our boys now, though in the city they
are mostly deprived OF it.
In another respect the Fourth is gr eat
1t is the
DAY OF PIcNICs.
The writer remembers sucL a day. The
Sunday-school-the one that Jones be-
longed to-was going to have one. Mrs.
Jones said:
"Now Jonesie, dear, We'll go and take
the ciIldren-itll be such nice change for
the little loves"
Jones agreed, and said ''picnics were his
stronghold"
So they got up at five O'Clock in the
morning, got the children out on their pins
there were seven. all under twelve years
and fixed them all up nice.
Jones combed their hair, tied the baby's
sash, put on his white pants and vest,
took the youngest of the family incum-
ORANGES on his arm and basket In his
hand with Zachariah hanging onto the
handle; Mrs. j. followed in his wake with
a young Jones under each wing and a
sweet smile on her face. and they started
for the train, the rest OF the young ] oneses
skirmishing along the TANKS. Mrs. Jones
saw a man running, 30 she got nervous,
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
THE GLORIOUS FOURTH"
Thong hts, Serious and Faoetious
Incident Thereto.
The Day as Viewed from Many Stand
Points-The Spartan Mother" Young
America" Let Loose - The Com
ventional Picnic.
lOriginaL1

SSSSSHE FOURTH of
July ia again at
hand-the plain, unvar-
nished Fourth" To
every native born or
naturalized citizen of
this great and glorious
land OF the brave and
home of the free-born ca
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
THE BOTS

Christmas is more properly the girls
holiday, but the Fourth eminently belongs
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-01
DAY OF PICNIcS.

The writer remembers sucL a day. The
Sunday-school-the one that Jones be-
longed to-was going to have one. Mrs.
Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-07-22
Chester County Oats.

Says the Lancaster New Era of
Tuesday: II. G. Book, Of Strasburg
boough, this morn ing sent to our ONCE
a bunch of oats which he pulled from q
ae ID belonging to David Fl. BraDson,
West Fallowfield Township, Chester
County. They are of the Welcome
variety, are 81 feet tall, and we think
they are as tall as the tallest, and yet
our informant tells us that he is sure
there are stalks in the field 7 feet tall.
In fact, stalks have been pulled from 1t
|1x inches taller than these, but the
late storm blew them down, 30 that the
tallest are now hard to find, but he
thinks the whole field Of IL acres will
average 81 feet. Last year Mr.. Bran
son grew Of the same variety 90 bushels
and 23 pounds per acre on a 12-acre
field.