davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15
A CHEERFUL DAKOTA LIAR.
Samples of What an Average Dakotan Can Do
at the Expense of the Truth.
Modern Miller

In the east thousands of people plant
and SOW sin the moon" to insure rapid
growth, but in Dakota it is dangerous to
plant in the prolific phase of the moon, so
they are careful to plant at such time
holding the crop back. have known sew
eral disasters to result from neglect of
this precaution. One day last January /
got lost out in the country, and while I
was tolling through the tall, new grass
saw man with nothing on but his sus-
penders tearing along like mad. He
stopped just long enough to tell me what
was up, and off he went again for the
Iowa side of the Sioux river. which he
cleared at bound, and fell all tours in a
snow-drlft four feet deep. He said he
and his wife had looked up the moon bus
mess and had planted their garden the
evening before, but happened to get
hold of last years almanac and missed
it about four days. The result was that
when he woke up that morning the beets
that he had planted 40 feet from the house
had crushed in the cellar walls, and a
squash vine had taken the door off its
hinges and was just hopping the floor
with all there was left of the hired man
whom it had snatched out of bed in the
attic. He didn't know where his wife was,
but he saw some shreds of nigntgown
and several agate buttons IN the front
yard as he fed. He said there were pea
vines after him with pods on 'em large
enough for phantom boats; and one
nuld see by the way he was dressed that
he wa. liar at all he was not regular
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15
The Future of the White Race.

speaking of the white race" continu,
ed Mr.. Cannon, according to an Eng
lish statistieian, they now number one
third of the population of the globe,
whereas two centuries ago they were not
more than one-tenth of it. They have
swallowed up Europe and are now enter
Africa at all sides. There are French
colonies at Algiers. The English practi-
cally control Egypt, and the Dutch and
English have a strong hold upon south
Africa. We ourselves are trying to get
admission to the great Congo valley. The
white race has Australia and it has
stronghold on India. The Chinese race,
large as it is, does not grow. 1t is not a
colonizing race, and its emigrants return
to China, if possible, before their death.
Of all the white races the Anglo-Saxon
and the Anglo-American are the strong
est, and it seems to me South America is
our legitimate field. A century from now
we will have 30O,000,000 people in the
United States, and already our emigrants
are pushing their way into Mexico do
not say that this whole hemisphre will be
under the political government of the
United States, but Ipredict that its rul-
ing population will be Anglo-American.
Potato growers should so over the field
with common harrow, running length
wise with the rows, just before the plants
push their noses through, and thus de-
stroy all the weeds; afterwards cultivate
fiat through the season, using only the
common cultivator.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15
Mushrooms Made Of Dough.
New York Mail.

''You notice on your bill of fare that
your turtle soup is but ten cents more
per plate than mock turtle SOUP" said a
stranger in great gilded eating-house.
"Calipash and calipee- fat-a his
tOric delicacy, famed in the history of the
worlds metropolis as the acme of epicur-
can delight, for ten cents more than a
fried meat ball. But the age likes to
think it is eating turtle soup. 1t sounds
rich therefore the vealy counterfeit. I
am going to eat spanish omelet," con-
tinued the stranger, changing the sub
Ject. The stranger gave his order to a
colOred waiter, who yawned and twisted
his moustache, and the omelet was
brought. The stranger invested the
ingredients of the savory mess with his
fork, and on the end of the utensil pro-
duced a mushroom.
''Look at this" he said. Then he pick
ed at the appetizing vegetable with his
knife, scraped off the covering sauce,
and began pairing the stem. It crumpled
under the operation in decidedly I'M
vegetable way.
The reporters eyes popped out on his
cheeks.
''What is it?" he asked.
Dough-" replied the stranger. ''It is
an old trick. Mushrooms are scarce and
high. Still, the patrons like to have the
sensation of ordering mushrooms in that
composition. If prices were put up to
the mushroom market they would aban-
don the restaurant. So they use dough.
1t is harmless. L would advise the pro-
prietor to stick to dough, and not indulge
in toadstools, which might work in
jury.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15

fastened the death of the consumptive,
broken hearted Keats. The Englishman
thought it was high time to erase this
memorial of bygone literary feud.
''True," replied, ''the epitaph does not
seem out of place now, when the position
of Keats among the English immortals is
assured. But, after all, should it not be
kept there as a warning to future critics?
Itshould teach them to be more tolerant
of young authors with their new and dar-
ing styles" The other man could not &C
cept that view of the case. / did not
care to discuss it. So we touched hats
and married.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15

Dakota thoroughbred sample. If I really
thought would ever become an average
/ Dakota liar would want to die. This
territory must be divided some time be-
fore the last day of judgment. for how
could the Almighty ever audit its accounts
with only one set of clerical agents at
work at time.
About two weeks ago saw farmer
out behind a straw stack gathering into
heap lot of old bones and pieces of
hides and sprinkling salt upon them.
Yesterday I saw. this same man selling
fine pair of steers to a butcher up town.
They were so fat and had filed up so fast
that he had pieced out their hides with
an old buffalo robe. This granger was a
Sunday -school superintendent before he
came to Dakota, but he swore these were
the same cattle I had seen him kicking
together behind the straw stack. He said
all they had eaten was some wild grass
that had sprung up in his door-yard where
the women-folks had thrown out a few
tubs of warm soap suds on wash-days. He
said that he had learned that the best
way to winter stock in Dakota was to
knock them all to pieces in the fall and
set them up again as wanted; otherwise,
unless we get blizzard every week they
were liable to get too fat and round on
the native grass.
Last fall I stopped at a house to borrow
match to light my. pipe with. The man
gold me to go right out in the garden and
pick all wanted. I did not know what
he meant at first, but he went out with me,
and-I almost afraid you'll think I'm
liar for telling it-there was about half
an acre growing the finest parlor matches
L ever saw. They we're as thick as he irs
on a blind mole. He said he had poor
crop the year before because the seed
was too good for such soil. This year he
had mixed his seed matches with about
one-fourth toothpicks and got splendid
yield.
went out after breakfast and saw the
the man blowing up hubbard squashes
with gunpowder. They were too large to
be moved, and the farmer wanted the
ground. I noticed that one of his wifc's
legs was about eight inches longer than
the other, and the man explained it thus:
He said when they first came to Dakota
they lived in "dug out" with nothing
but ground for floor, from which they
had to NOV the grass once day to find
the baby. He said his wife had a habit
of sitting with one leg over the other
knee, and the leg that remained in con-
tact with the soil got such start that the
other could never catch up.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15

The average American boy of to-day is
very much interested in the development
of his muscles. He gives as much or even
more time and thought to this subject
than to the development of his brain.
1t is not an uncommon thing for boy to
have his fingers broken at baseball, or
his body bruised and his bones fractured
at foot ball. When we read in our papers
the account of game OF football, we ex-
pect also to see a list of the wounded
carried from the field. Athletic sport
should receive attention, but they are
being pushed too far, especially in our
colleges and universities. On this sub
ject the New England Journal of Educa-
ton says: "Boys should gain muscle as
well as develop brain, but the question is
coming home to a great many thoughtful
parents, whether, on the whole, it pay to
send boy, especially if he is not an
athlete and has simply the tastes of a
quiet gentleman, into the bear garden
that the muscular region of college life is
now becoming. Some of these "acci-
dents" as they are politely named in the
daily press, represent roughness, not so
brutality, in the conduct of these sports,
which would disgrace crowd of young
North American savages."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15
A COnsiderate Boy.
Texas Slftings.

Little Johnny-Pa, did you read in the
paper how a parent was fined $25 beause
his boy hung on street car?
'Well, what of it?" asked Col. Fizzle-
top.
"Oh, nuthin', except I thought may
be you wanted to give me some nickles to
buy car-tickets. When I have car-tickets
don't swing on the street-cars."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15

Very warm, light blankets and feather
cloth are now made from the waste
feathers of domestic fowl and game
birds.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-07-15

There are 10000 volumes in the Massa-
chusetts State Library at Boston, and
not one novel among them.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27
aow Squirrel Played the Craven.
lewiston fMe,) Journal,1

"The queerest sight l ever saw in the
early morning was one that CHANGED to
see one day last week." said a Lewiston
man. II was going to work at $50 and
was walking down Lisbon street. Across
the street heard great chatter among
the English sparrows and there, near
Pau's Block, was a red squirrel sitting on
his launches fairly surrounded by En-
glish sparrows lowering over his head.
The squirrel seemed frightened. He would
run rod and stop. Every time he stopped
the sparrows surrounded him again. l
watched them from there to the corner of
Ash street. The sparrows seemed to pick
at him. When they reached the corner of
Ash street the bark of dog broke in and
the squirrel scooted down an alley"
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

"That Miss Jones IS q nice-looIing girl,
isr't she:''
Yes, and she'd he the belle OF tie town
if it wasn't for one thing
whats that.'
"She has catarrh s. bad it is unpleasant
to be near her. She has tried a dozen
things and nothing helps her. | am sorry,
for like her but that doesn't make it any
less disagreeabie for one to be around her. y
Now if she had used DR.. Saga's Catarrh
Remedy, there would have been nothing
of the kind said, for it will cure catarrh
every time.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27
ERENCH MONK LEE.
Reminiscence of a Visit to the Monastery
of La Grande Chartreuse.
lTennlA Rar1


| Accustomed as the Monastery OF the
! Grande Chatrcuse is to receive the visits
! of strangers, there are some times as many
| as two hundred in single evening during
| the summer. I had no need to say upon
what errand l had come, and was at
once conducted by the ''frere- portier"-to
| give him his proper title-to the reception
room, where another lay brother took me
| in oh large and told me that was welcome
| to the monastery, but that the duration OF
| the visit was always limited to forty
| eight hours. AS was not intending to
remain m ore than one night, this regula-
! ton did not in any way effect me, and the
| long drive had given me such an appetite,
| that l was not sorry to hear that supper
was about to be served. The little lug
gage which l had brought with me had
already been taken to the cell which was
assigned to me, though 'cell" is i'll truth
rather misleading name to give to
! what is in reality a very passable bed
room. There was no carpet on the t1oor, IL
is true: but when one has Travelled much,
one learns TO regard carpets as luxurles
which can easily be dispensed with, and
| IN other respects the rooms provided Tor
visitors contain every accommodation
which one requires. Looking round it as
| washed my hands before going down to
supper, / found that it contained good
bedstead, large table and an ample cup
board, inside which the ay-brother who
escorted me showed me some plates con-
tanning biscuits. apples and raisins, to-
gether with bottles of yellow and green
Oh artreuse, which, he added, "are at your
disposal, should you feel faint during the
night" One thing the bedroom did not
contain, this being looking glass; and
found that none of them are to be seen in
the monastery, because they are supposed
to minister toward vanity. But looking
glass, like carpet, is not indispensable
to comfort, especially when one has
reached an age at which regard for out
ward appearances should be waning, and
went down to supper with the feeling
that my lines were cast in pleasant
places.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

AMONG the people of to-day, there arc
few indeed, who have not heard 0: the
merits of Prickly Ash Bark and Berries, as
a household remedy. Teas and drinks have
been made of them for centuries, and in
hundreds of families have formed the sole
reliance in rheumatic and kidney diseases.
Prickly Ash Bitters now takes the place of
the old system and is more beneficial in all
troubles of this nature.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27
Canned Goods for the World.
baltimore Sun. !

Maryland employs 60,oOo persons in put
ting up canned goods, an industry in
which she now leads all the States Of the
Union. She supplies 100000 cans of
oysters annually. In Hartford County
alone 24,000,000 cans of tomatoes, and r.
90, 900 cans of corn are prepared for the
market every year, and one firm in Fred
erick City puts up 2,5OJ, 900 cans of corn in
a season.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

BartholdIs Statue of "Liberty Enlight-
ening the World
will be reminder OF personal liberty for
ages to come. On just as sure a founda-
ton has Dr.. Pierca's Golden Medical Dis
coveryn been placed, and it will stand
through the cycles of time as monument
to the physical emancipation of thousands,
who by its use have been relieved from
consumption, consumptive night-sweats,
bronchitis. coughs, splitting OF blood, weak
lungs, and other throat and lung affections.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

A comic paper says: "The festive
oyster now gets into stews and broils. :
Probably, like others, he would avoid
these difficulties if he kept his mouth
shut IN. 7. Telegram.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

Nervous debility, premature dc.
cline of power in either sex, speedily and
permanently cured. Large book, 10 cents
in stamps. Worlds Dispensary Medical
Association, Cos Main St, Buffalo, \. y.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

SUFFERERS FROM CoUGHs, SORE THROAT,
etc, should try "BrOrH's Bronchial 1roc1sS, -
a simple but sure remedy.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

DR.. R. BUTLER, Master of Arts, Cam
bridge University, England, says: est.
Jacobs Oil acts like magic"
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

TIE idea Of Boston being the hub tires
US. We have spoke
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

All, THAT TwINGE! Why, you're rheumatic.
Seek relief from GIenn's sulphur Soap. HUI
Ha.r and Whisker Dye, Black or Brown, soc.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

WHEN man falls down his temper gen
orally gets up before he does.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

THE ocean is like good housewife-very
tidy.-Boston Post.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

If afflicted with Sore Eyes use DR.. Isaac
Thonpson's EyeW Water. Druggists sell iL2oc
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

THE buzz saw mas an Off hand way with
new acquaintances.- Conanlercial Bulletin
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

Stuck up-The bent PIN you sat on
DGuriEe Breeze.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

THE oil chaps who wore armor were the
FIRST mail carrlers.-Bost0n BuL,etiM.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27
Common Sense

Should be exercised in taking remedy for catarrh.
1t is caused by impurty in the blood; hence the
proper method of cure is to purify the blood.
Hoods Sarsaparilla is the best blood purifier. and
has had wonderful success in curing catarrh. Give
it trial. Be to get Hoods.
II suffered severely from chronic catarrh, aris-
ing, believe from impure blood. 1t became very
bad causing much soreness of the bronchial tubes,
and troublesome cough, which gave great anxiety
to my friends and myself two brothers died from
bronchial consumption. | tried many advertised
medicines for catarrh, both .inhaling and internal;
but it was simply money thrown sway, as received
no benefit. was at last induced to try Hoods Sar-
sapara and am not the same man in health or
feelings. My catarrh is cured, my throat is entire
we'll and n dyspeptic trouble accompanied by sick
headache lave all Disappeared" L. II. LINCOLN,
So Chambers Street, Boston.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

MrsH RooMs-Cheap restaurants
Eape7. AeleS.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

AFTER all it is bad child that gets the
palm.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

PIso's Remedy for Catarrh is agreeable
to uso: 1t is cot liquid or snuff. SOC.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27

A TURN-sTYLE-The fashion of wearing
cuffs among impecunious dudes.--Eerchd,st
2ractler.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-11-27
[zz!IA]IN l!IIIz5;;;]]ll1sI|:l]

And STEREOPTICOkS, all prices View i,sst.a:-
ing every subject for PUBLIC ExHIBlItOhS,s etc.
for Home Amusement. las page Catalogue J..s
EncELIlSTER, Optean 40 Nassau ST., u. Y.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-12-06

tenants, and they were deposited with Mr..
Lane, M. P. The landlords, holding that it
was illegal for Mr.. Lane to receive this
money, appealed to an officer to seize him
while collecting the rents. The officer, how
ever. doubling the legality of such step,
submitted the case to the Attorney General;
and the latter decided that the government
could do nothing to prevent the tenants put
ting up their money with Mr.. Lane if they
so chose.
The result of this decision has been to en-
barrass greatly the landlords. of course
they can evict as they have been accustomed
to in such cases; but once having refused
fair sum, course of evictions would be so
manifestly unjust that they hesitate to adopt
it, Besides, the tenants have the money
already deposited with trustees, for a relief
fund when evictions do come. The new
plan, as it has been taken in hand by the
National League, is promulgated very fast
Meetings are held in important places, pop
ular leaders advise the tenants to make
their tenders of fair rate of rental and,
when the landlords refuse this, one of the
leaders acts as trustee for the tenants who
send the money in very rapidly So eagerly
are the tenants adopting the plan, that the
landlords have become seriously alarmed
and great pressure is brought to bear on the
government to break up the meetings and
suppress the League. There is good reason
to believe, however, that even Tory gov
eminent will hesitate to enter upon course
so manifestly unjust.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-12-06
The IRISH RENT WAR.

Mr.. ParnelPs bill to reduce the rents in
Ireland certain per cent. during the COM
ing winter, in order to compensate the ten
ants Tor the decline in the value of their
holdings which has come about through
agricultural depression, was defeated in the
last session Of Parliament. But now that the
winter is upon them, and their rents are
due, the tenants are adopting line Of action
similar to that which the bill was intended
to legalize. This plan was suggested by the
Dublin newspaper, United Ireland, and it
was for publicly advocating it that Mr..
Dillon was threatened with prosecution.
The plan proposed, and which i, now being
carried out in many places in Ireland, is
that whenever landlord refuses to make
such reductions as are voluntarily offered by
iair minded members of his class, his ten
ants shall combine to tender a UNI duly pro-
portloned to the market value of the products
OF their holdings. In case of the sum so
rendered being refused, the tenants are to
deposit 1t with trustee, who shall make it
over to the landlord whenever the latter sig
nifes readiness to receive IL in full dis
charge Of the judicial rents. Should, how
ever, the landlord fall back upon his legal
remedy of eviction, then the trustee is 10
apply the funds placed in his hands TO de-
Tending the rights of the tenants and to
securing them from want Week before last
this plan was put into operation on the Pom
sonby estates In Youghal The landlords
refused to receive the sums offered by the
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-12-06

The programme for the celebration of the
one hundredth anniversary Of the adoption
of the Constitution, which comes next year,
was outlined by the commission Of delegates
from the States in Philadelphia last week.
There is TO be an Grafton and poem. each in
commemoration Of the signing of the famous
document, military display of national and
State troops, of all branches of the service
and from all the States and Territories, and
an industrial procession and display. All
the executive officers, judiciary officers and
legislators Of the nation and the States and
Territories, and all the resident representa-
tives of foreign governments are to be in
Yited. The erection Of suitable memorial
In the city of Philadelphia, commemorative
of the signing and adoption of the Constitu-
tion and Of the progress of the nation since
that period, will be feature of the event.
The aid of Congress is to be asked to carry
out the plans Of the committee. and the
States and Territories not yet represented
on the commission are called upon to give
attention to the subject. The commission
as organized, with John A. Kasson of Iowa,
president, and Henry Cabot Lodge of Massa-
chusetts and Col James Hoyt of South
Carolina, vice presidents, gives assurance
that the celebration will be national, n5t
sectional or local.