Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-01-26
The Hairless Age.


The coming man will have 10 hair
No bangs or curIs will adorn the cluI
man who takes trip up Fifth ave
nue. few hundred years hence OF
the Jake Sharp balloon line.
The masculine chlld's nurse of A
d. 2l85 will be as bald as a skating
rink. The museum of the future
will contain tuft of hair in a glas
case labeled "Scalp-lock, Presented
by Three-of-a-Kind, Chief of tn,
Cherokee Nation and ex-Emperor O
Of the Defunct United States, Heir
loom in His Family" Barbers' signi
then will read: "Scalps Artificially
Decorated, Electrical Tattooing Dont
While You Wait" and bottles o.
Japanese hair restorers will have 9
place among the rarest curiosities.
DR.. William A. Hammond, the dis.
tinguished specialist, who can write
q delightful novel as easily of he car
diagnose an obscure nervous affec.
tion, said yesterday that the hair is
being gradually evolved off mems
heads. Evolution, he said, is always
going on both in a mans body and
In his mind. The man of to-day Ia
larger than the knight who used to
90 around chivalrously rescuing
beautiful young women from agres
and looting captured castles. DR..
Hammond Is sure of that because lie
has carefully examined ancient suits
Of armor. lie finds that the suits
would scarcely do sixteen year.old
boy of to-day, and that full grown
man would never buy such a suit
unless at a Baxter Street shop or q
misflt clothing store.
But If the man of to-day is larger
than his ancestors he has not nearly
so much hair on the place where the
hair ought to grow as they had. DR..
Hammond says that mems boards are
growing at the expense of the hair
on their heads. They grow bald
over the cultivation Of their NOUS
taches. Fifty or a hundred years ago
young mems heads were covered with
a stock Of hair, while their boards
were silky and immature. Now
they go around with nothing but ten
dollar beaver hats to cover the shin
ing area over their ears and their
boards grow like weeds in Harlem
lot.
DR.. Hammond predicts that bald
headed young men will soon be in
the vast majority. Then, as evolu-
tion gets in its work, they will be the
rule. The child of the future with a
head like billiard ball will stand
before the picture of his ancestor and
wonder what kind of an animal he
was.
When all men are hairless the
heads of the college professor and of
the pugilist will be identical, but one
will bristle with the bumps of his
own knowledge and the other with
bumps of the other pugilists superior
knowledge. The slim of that period
will have his scalp covered with
pictures by the best artist, Meis-
sonier behind his ear, Bougereau
on his forehead and a Canabal on the
back of his head. When a fayorite
danseuse will trip out on the tips of
her little toes she will see her por-
trait on all the heads in the first row
before the footlights. Even the pres
ent coryphees, who have already seen
great changes, will probably live to
be so honored by some very young
men.
When man falls In love it will be
a delicate compliment to paint or
tattoo his inamorata's name over the
frontal suture of his Uranium. That
will made an engagement more bind
ing. Fashions will have been evolv-
ed then, too. Black linen shirts will
be all the rage and scalloped sky |
collars will form pleasing
frames to the chief d'euveres on
'well's head.