The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-04-29
PITH AND POINT.

A CHINAMAN is like q billiard player,
because he minds his cue.-CarI Pref
zePs Ueekly.
WHAT is a luxury? asks an exchange.
A luxury is something you don't want
until you see somebody else with it,
Philadelphia Call
EVERY body docs not have the same
opinion OF roher-skating. 1t depends
principally upon their experience, the
way it strikes them.
IT is very easy thing, even for the
most ignorant man, to be an author of
note if his name is worth anything
Merchant Traveller.
One good combination dog, if kept
is an alley way between yards. can do
the barking for two houses at night
NelC Orleans Picaytt1ae
A COUPLE of miners struck vein Of
gas at depth of six feet in Ohio.
They bored into book-agent's grave.
Newman hadependent
$50 YOUR son has gone abroad?
Aren't you afraid he'll fall victim to
the cholera?" "No, indeed; he is a
member OF baseball club, and his
friends inform me that lie was never
known to catch anything BOSTON
Transcript.
A MOVEMENT is on foot at HALEY, Idaho,
to remove the principal of the public
schools. Among tho serious charges
preferred against him are the allega-
tons that he pronounces India" "In-
jun" and plays billiards.-Virgi1 mia
(NeU.) Enterprise.
"YEs," he said, dropping into chair,
"Clara loves me, am sure. tried to
kiss her tonight at the hall door, but
she got very indignant" "That doesn't
look as if she loved you, said his chum.
"Oh, yes it does. She called me ras.
cal.-The Ingleside.
lie WANTS CoURT-PLAsTER.
Gayly the rash young man
Puts on the skates.
Saying: Il think can
Astonish the States"
Then he strikes wildly out
Faster and faster;
And with bump and shout
Yells for ourtplaster.
-NOlTist0wn Herald.
AFTER the concert: Mrs. Amateur
"That last number was delicious.
What a beautiful air." Mrs. Tinsel-
Beautiful air! For my part, thought
it was extremely oppressive. 1t was
fearfully warm, and there didn't seem
TO be any ventilation at all."-BoSto1
Transcript
MoCRNFUL CIRCUMSTANCE.
An cd '"~ aid work
Like "a iurk.
poet slow came in
And he said, 81 have some verses
That I'd like 10 you TO sell;
And you may have them; sir, byyar;l
Or, if you wish, by ell.
The editor looked weak,
And with piercing shrek,
Right down upon hat Office floor,
He duly fell, and exc
OF hope berett
The poet lett,
Oh, miserce! Oh sadl alasl
That such events will come TO Eass!
Chicago Slut
CUB, are you looking for place ~
"Yes, boss" Where did you work
last?' at didn't last-that was the
trouble with it" 81 mean, who hired
you? "The e!evator-it highered me
and lowered me, too" Smart, amt
you? Where were you raised?" II
was raisied last round to links. He
raised me out over the coal hole"
"Then you can't give me q recommen-
dation, can your ooh, yes, 1 kinl I
kin give you recommend fer Jinks.
He's raiser from Raisersville, lie is"
-Yonker's Gazette.
THE BOY AM THE BEE.
An hi .nhc boy with shining pail
Went gladly singing Gown the dale.
To whore the COW with the tr nd c tail
On clover her palate did regaie.
a bumb.e-bcc did gaily sail
Far over the 1T and shadowy vale,
To whore tho bf Y with Glinlf nail
Was milking the COW with a brinde tai.
The bee sat Gown on the cows left ear,
Her heels few through the atmosphere.
And thrOu h tho leaves OF the chestnut tree
The boy scared into eternity.
-ClereiaRd Herald
GIDDY girl. with heart a-flutter,
Did YOU ever pause to think
What p lie OF bread and butter
Could bc purchased with the chink
That your beau spent Tor that cutter!
-AelC } ork Journal
A SERIOUS CASE.
He is tender and gentle and good to me a.
ways;
have loved him from girlhood, shall love
him II death.
The home he has ma he me true lovers Eden,
Except for n serpent IN It's lurking beneath
Here st ard mbrOd +, paint plaques, and
write poetry,
And wait tor his com.ng-his fond little
But when rush to him ami ask if he loves
me,
lie kisses me- saying. You bet your sweet
life
Oh, how can bear it! For love is so serious,
So sweet, and So solemn, that cruel the pang
The true heart must feel when its deepestout-
pouring
Is met in such fashion with testing and
slang.
But the end is approaching, and cen though
IL kill me,
I'll leave him. since surely he has no regard
For his wife-or to-day when I asked IL he
loved me
Nod povor ba,.o ore,yarad sGyUb, nab HAL
pard"
The Ratchet.
CuriOsilies Of the Mails.
Only domestic letters are opened by
the Dead Letter Office, and of these,
duridg the last year, $4,000 contained
money; $4,000 contained drafts, checks
and money orders, and 10000 contained