The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1886-07-16

An ice cream festival for the bene.
fit of the Rev. Mr.. f. l.. Davies will be
held at the Warner House parlors, to-
morrow Saturday evening, July II.
A hearty invitation is extended to
everyone to be present.
The erection of new general store
in this place is at present being serious
ly contemplated by couple of Wiscon.
sin men who are at present at Aberdeen.
This will be a good investment for the
young gentlemen, as a general store is
badly needed. Let them come.
"A correspondent of the Groton Ca
zette, writing from Langford, says:
1--WE put up for the night al the Cob
Hotel, at Haupt, two miles distant.
That hotel furnishes its guests excellent
fare and lodging accommodations are
EXTENSIVE. The latter consists of a
hay loft and pasture. For this season
of the year we recommend the pasture.
DIR. j. T. Akers, V. S. of Tetonka,
Sphinx county, will be in Warner Friday
and Saturday of each week to attend to
all calls in his line DR.. Akers is a
practical veterinary surgeon and under
stands his business thoroughly and we
would suggest that if anyone has sick
or disabled horse that it will be money
in their pockets to call on DR.. Akers
Office at the Warner house.
"A farmer came into a general store
in town called Warner, not long since,
and pulling from the dark recesses of
his hip pocket a piece of paper, on
which was written the articles he wished
to purchase, as long as the moral law
or longer, began the following conver-
sation with the smiling clerk behind the
counter: .--s
Got any lemon extractf"
Not any at present, but we have a
fine assortment of crackers" politely
answered the clerk.
'Got any cheese?" asked the farmer.
''Sold the last pound this morning"
answered the clerk.
''Got any canned goods?" quickly
asked the farmer.
mo, I'm sorry to say we have not,
but we expect a car load, on the next
train from the north" said the clerk.
The old farmer unrolled another roll
of his paper, took fresh chew of fine.
cut, pushed back his hat, and again
asked:
SCOT anv ladies hosef"
Ladies hose," said the clerk, wink
ing at Hoodlum chum at the other
end of the store, 1--WE are just now out
of ladies' hose, but we have very large
stock of fly-paper which we will guar
antee to do deadly work"
Great Scott" said the fidgety old
granger, "have you got any dried ap-
plese"
No, my dear man, we have no dried
apples, but we have very select stock
of gents government socks of all sizes
which we are selling at cost" replied
the clerk.
The farmer hung bis hat up on the
floor, took another chew of fine-cut,
spit gallon of tobacco juice all over
the clerks setter dog, and roared out
the following:
In the name of the great and good
Grover Cleveland. what HAVE you got
and how much il itsn
WE'LL" said the clerk, 1--WE sell
cheese-cloth at cost; we sell soap at a
small profit as we also do clothes-pins,
hair-pins, satty-pins, and other neces-
saries of life. But the fact of the mat. !.
ter is thiss You are day or two late.
You see we have a terrible large trade
and good share of it is from outside
parties. Yes, the sheriff Of Brown
county sent in his order the other day
for about $378.0O worth Of the best va
riety of goods we had in stock and we
have not had time to replace our stock :"
The old farmer put on his hat, spit
at the dog again, and started for ABB
erdeen.