Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-04-28
AFATHER's LETTER
~ Bill Nh.

~ BILL ME
Nv Dear Son:-I tried to write to
You last week but did not get around
to it owing to circumstances. I went
away on . little business tower for a few
weeks on the cars, and when / got
home the Aociable broke loose in our
once happy home.
While on my commercial tower down
the Omehaw railroad, buyin' anew we'll
diggin' machine of which / had heard a
good deal pro and con. / had the pleas
ure OF riding in one Of them sleeping
cars that we real 80 much about.
/ am going on fifty years old, and
that's the first time 1 ever slumbered at
the rate of forty-fve miles per hour,
including stops.
/ got acquainted with the porter, and
he BACKED my boots in the night nm
beknown to me, while / was engaged in
slumber. He must have thought that
| was your father, and that We rolled in
luxury at home all the time, and that it
was a common thing for us to have our
boots blacked by m~enials. When /
left the cur this porter brushed my
clothes till the hot flashes ran up my
spinal column, and told him tina. he
treated me square. and / wrung his
hand when he held it ont toward me,
and ! told him that any time lie wanted
to get . good, cool drink of buttermilk
to Just holler through our telephone.
We had the sociable at onr house last
week, and when I got home your
mother set me right to work borryin'
chairs and dishes. She had solicited
some cakes and other things. I don't
know whether you are on the skedjule
by which these socials are run or not.
The idea lisa novel one.
The sisters in our set onct in so often
turn their houses wrong side out for the
purpose of raising s4.0O to apply on the
church debt. When / was a boy we
w%orshiped with less frills than they do
now. Now it seems that the debt is
. part Of the worship.
Well, we had q good time and used
mp l5O cookies in a short time, Part of
these cookies was devoured, and the
balance was trod into our all-wool
carpet.
Several Of the young people got to
playing Copenhagen in the satting-
room and stepped on the old cat in such
q way as to disfigure him for life. They
also had q disturbance in the front
room and knocked of some of the
plastering.
So your mother is feeling rather slim
and am not very clipper myself. I
hope that You are working hard at your
books so that you will be on ornament
to society. Society is needing some
ornaments very much. / sincerely
hope that You will not begin to monkey
with rum. I should hate to have you
meet with q felon's doom or fill O
drunkard's grave. If anybody has got
to fill q d%runkard's grave let him do it
himself. What has the drunkard ever
done for you that he should expect you
to fill his grave for him?
! expect you to do right as near as
possible. You will not do exactly right
all the time, but try to strike a good
average. l do not expect You to let your
studies encroach too much on your polo,
but try to unite the two SO that you
will not break down under the strain.
| should feel sad and mortified to have
you come home physical wreck. Think
one physical wreck in q family is
enough. and / Am rapidly getting where
/ can do the entire physical wreck
business for our neighborhood.
l Q by your picture that you have
got n OF them pleated coats with q
belt around it and short pants. They
make you look MS you did when / used
to spank you in years gone by, and 1
feel the same old desire to do it now
that / did then. Old and feeble as I
am, it seems as though / could spank a
boy that wears knickerbrocker pants
buttoned into q Garabaldy waist and a
pleated jacket.
II it wasn't for them cute little
camel's hair whiskers of yours 1 would
not believe that you had grown up to
be a large expensive boy, with thoughts.
Some Of the thoughts you express in
your letters are far beyond your years.
Do. you think them yourself or is there
some boy in the school that thinks all
the thoughts for the rest?
Some of your letters are SO deep that
your mother and I can hardly grapple
with them. One of them esp, c ally
was so full Of foreign stuff that you had
got out Of q bill of fare that we will
have to wait till you come home before
We a take it in. / can talk a little
Chippewa, but that is all the foreign
language l am familiar with. When I was
young we had to get our foreign
languages the best we could, so /
studied Chippewa without a master. A
Chippewa chief took me into his camp
and kept me there for some time, while
acquired his language. He became so
much attached to me that / had great
difficulty in coming away.
! wish you would write in the United
States dialect as much as possible, and
not try to parlize your parents with i'm
ported expressions that come too high
for poor people.
Remember that you are the only boy
we have got, and we are only going
through the motions of living here for
your sake. For us the day is wearing
out, and it is o along into the shank
of the evening. All we ask of you is to
improve on the old people. Yor can
see where ! fooled myself, and you can
do better. Read and write and sifer
and polo and get nollege, and try not to
be ashamed of your uncuitivated
parents.
When you get that checkered little
sawed-off coat on, that pair Of knee
panties and that poker dot necktie, and
the sassy little boys holler rats" when
you pass by, and your heart is bowed
down, remember that no matter how
foolish You may look, your parents will
never our on you. Your FATHER.
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