Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-05-19
because lent is the fast sea-

not?" because lent is the fast sea-
SON."
Ak STREET girl and young con-
gresham were engaged the other even
ing in bantering Cupid. "Ahp' she
said, after one of his soft speeches, 81
see a flush on your cheek" "No!" he
exclaimed nervously, putting his hand
to his face. "Is it q bob tail or
straightYn Our national legislators
will never be successful lovers unless
they reform WASHINGTON Critic.
TEACHER-First class in history,
please stand up. Who was Lady Jane
Grey? Little boy in the corner =
Please, marin, [ know. Teacher
Well, who was she, Willie? Little boy
She was the woman who beat the
boycotters in New York. Teacher
You are mistaken, Willie. Lady Jane
Grey was brought to the block. Little
boy-Maybe she was, but she made
the sandwiches get off the block.-ChI-
cago Tribune.
THAT was q bold but effective move
on the part of a city pastor Sunday or
two ago. He had borne long and pa
tiently with the annoying demeanor
of his choir, but matters were not
growing any better, so, just as he was
beginning the sermon, he paused, and,
looking up to the gallery, remarked:
"When the members of the choir are
through with their discourses | shall
be ready to begin mine" -Boston Con-
grega tiOnaHst
"GoT any Strawberries said g.
country man, looking in at the door
&c 80. 9fxv-t 1vv6l
centsl" shodted the clerk. 81 said,
got any Strawberries ?" "Fifty cents"
yelled the clerk excitedly. Il said,
cried the stranger, also somewhat ex-
cited, "have you got any Hold
on!" exclaimed the clerk. "It's so
cents now; next time it's rs. You've
said Strawberries twice already.
Here's check. "--Pittsburg Chronicle.
HAsKINs- "See, here, Andrews. I
don't propose to stand by and be
made laughing stock of by you.
What in thunder did you mean when
you told Harrison | was all the time
making insane remarks Andrews
"My dear fellow, never said anything
of the kind. Harrison must have mis-
taken me. I didn't say insane-I said
inane" Haskins-"O, well, that's
altogether different. knew you
couldn't have said that about me-
It'd Bits.
WIFE quitting down novel -"I
wish that | could speak some foreign
language; l wouldn't much care which
one" Husband-"I find it to be an
advantage" Wife-'sWhat ?" Hus-
band-"Speaking q foreign language,
of course" Wife-"You speak q for
eign-" Husband-"Yes." Wife-"I
didn't know it before. What Ian
guage2" Husband =" English. En-
gland is g. foreign country. What's
The matter with ?"-Arkansaw
Traveller.
A REPORTER called on an officers
wife to know the whereabouts of her
husband, who was on g. certain COM
mittee. els Mr.. Blank attending
meeting this EVENING"" asked the re-
porter. mo, sir. He went to the
meeting, but an hour since he came
back and said the committee had ad
journed sine qua non, and he was 60
ing down town. You'll find him at
one of the hotels. "-Washington Critic.
THE other evening at b. concert
long haired pianist was accompanying
his performance at the instrument
with epileptic contortions. An old
lady was carried away with admira-
ton. "Ah, how grandit is," she cried,
"you hear the noise of the cannon!
The city is taken by assault-they
fight in the streets-the soldiers are
pillaging the houses!" "Alas" sighed
a neighbor, eff they would only carry
away the piano too !"-FTgaro.
FOND husband-Well, my dear, what
are you sobbing about? Young wife
Why, that sponge cake l sent to the
Agricultural Fair has just taken the
first prize. Boo-hoo! Fond husband
What is there to cry about in that?
You ought to feel proud, my dear, of
your knowledge Of the culinary art.
Young wife-But you don't under
stand. The judges gave it the award
as the best specimen of concrete sent
in. Boo-hoo l-Chicago Rambler.
CHARLES A. DANA is 66 years old,