davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

orb of day. The consultations, too, al
though the practical astronomer does not
think much OF them, possess extraordi-
nary interest, because they are among the
most ancient and the most enduring crea-
tions Of the human imagination. AS
DR.. Seiss says Heather, Moham-
medans and Christians, the Oldest
with the latest, disagreeing in so many
things yet agree in adopting and honoring
these primitive notations OF the stars"
More than one learned investiga incIud-
ing the late Dr. Seyffarth, has come to the
conclusion that many, at least, OF the con
stelations known to us were familiar to the
inhabitants OF the earth before the flood.
Yet most of the consultations are so fanci-
full that only vivid Imagination is able to
picture the figures among the stars which
men for ages past, and in all countries,
have agreed to recognize there
| Modern Investigations have also made
the stars more interesting by showing the
existence OF many differences between them.
The spectroscope finds evidence that some,
like Capella and Arcturus, closely resemble
our sun in composition and age, while
Others, like Sirius and Vega, are probably
much younger than the sun; and some, like
Betelgeuse and Antares, are older than the
sun, and slowly approaching the age of ex-
tinction. From all quarters OF the heav-
ems the stars flash to us In their light the
information that they contain iron, cal
cium, nickel, lead and many other metals
and substances that we find upon the earth,
and that blaze in the photosphere of the
| sun.
To know the stars, then, is to enjoy
the glory OF many suns instead OF one
alone
Anybody who goes out about ten o'clock
on one OF these clear winter nights to some
open place where there are no electric lights
to dazzle the eyes and obiterate the won
ders of the sky and faces the south, will
see hall way between the horizon and
the zenith, and a little to the east of the
meridian the splendid constellation of
Orion, which is represented by the first
picture in this column. There is no con-
stellatlon in the whole armament equal to
this, not even the famous Southern Cross.
As Aratus wrote, more than two centuries
before Christ:
" Eastward beyond the region of the Bull
Stands great Orion: whose kens not him in
! clOudless night
Cleaning aloft, shall cast his eyes IN vain
To find brighter sign in all the heavens"
The antiquity OF this constellation is in
dicated by Job: "Canst thou loose the
bands OF Orion?" The first magnitude
star near the right shoulder OF the giant
hunter is Betelgeuse, an orange or topaz
colored sun, which is exceedingly beautiful
when seen through good telescope. In
the opposite shoulders a star Of the second
magnitude, named Bellatrix. In the up
lifted foot is another first magnitude star
called Rigel, whose brilliant white rays
contrast beautifully with the rich golden
hue of its rival, Betelgeuse. Rigel is a
famous double star, and if our observer is
armed with lirst-rate three-iDch telescope
he can see the little deep-blue companion
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

thick with the most beautiful and interest
ing double, triple, multiple and nebulous
stars. 1t is mine Of wonders that he will
never tire OF working.
The third magnitude star in the Giants
right leg, below the sword, is called Saiph
If the observer will follow out with his
eye toward the southeast the line indicated
by the three stars in Orion's belt he will see
the brightest star in the heavens, Sirius, or
the Dog Star, belonging to the constella-
ton OF the Great Dog; which is represented
in our second picture. Astronomers have
found evidence that Sirius has been a
storied star in every land The ancients
ascribed the great heats of midsummer to
the influence OF the Dog Star, which at that
season rose at the same time as the sun
So Virgil wrote:
"-Palched WAS the grass, and bighted was
Nor 'scape the beasts; for Sirius from on high
With pestilential heat infects the sky"
And Aratus, describing the Great Dog,
says:
In his fell jaw
Flames star above all others with sefriEg
beams
Fiercely burning, called by mortals
Sirius. Him rising with the eastern sun
No plants deceive with false luXuTlance.
With sure discrimination fierce he rushes
through their ranks
And, Strengthening these, blasts those with
all their foliage.
For the Egyptians the rising of Sirius
foretold the rising Of the Nile, and the ours
of Rome had reason to dread their blazing
namesake in the sky, for the Romans year
ly sacrificed dog to propitiate the great
star. There is some reason to think that @
remarkable change Of color has taken place
in Sirius, for whereas it is now as white as
the purest diamond it is said to have been
red in ancient times Sirius is also a double
star, but it takes very powerful telescope
to. show the faint companion of the Dog
Star. This companion is one OF the most
mysterious objects in the heavens, because
although it possesses mass equal to one
third that of Sirius, yet its light is so dim
that it makes only minute speck beside
the great star. 1t has been suggested that
this may be tremendous plan
ct revolving around Sirius, and
family rejecting his light to us. It's more
likely, however, to be body which has not
yet passed completely beyond the solar
stage of its exstence--a dying sun, which
ages hence will become the Jupiter OF the
Sirian system. 1t takes this mysterious
star about iorty-nine years to complete a
revolution around Sirius. The second mag
nitude star in the fore-foot of the Dog is
called Miriam The star situated in the
Dogs right ear is named Muliphen, and has
undergone singular changes In the seven
teenth century it is said to have disap-
peared for twenty years. In the Dogs
back is star a little below the second
magnitude called Wesen, and in the hip is
another, OF nearly equal brightness, called
Adara. The two hinder feet are marked by
the stars Naos and Lambda. But in this
case Sirius is the constellation. The Dog
Star so completely outshines all its neigh.
bors that they possess little interest in
comparison with it.-M Y. Sun.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
No Wonder,

Merryboy is a young gentleman whG
holds down chair and draws salary in
one of the departments. He is given to
late hours and iovial times with the gang
the gang being a band of choice spirits,
with weakness for the same. The other
day Merryboy showed up with that indie
scribable look a fellow has when he's had a
jolly time the night before. Settling down
to work, he presently exclaimed:
"By Jove, my legs asleep"
His fellow-clerks looked up sympathizing.
ingly, when one of them remarked, dryly:
mo wonder your legs asleep in the day.
time-you keep it out so late Of nights."-
Washington Hatchet.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
A VAIN APPEAL
A Scientists DiscOuraglng Meeting with
an Uneducated DetrOiter.

A Scientists DiscOuraglng Meeting with
an Uneducated DetrOitcr.
Yesterday man stood leaning up
against the wall of the Third Street Depot.
hands in his pockets and a cheap, second.
hand look on his face, when gray-haired
stranger with u seli.satisfed air came along
and asked:
"Have you got pencil in your pocket"
The other stared at him but made no re.
ply.
Because want to do little figurjng,"
continued the stranger. II think I've got
it down pretty fine and that the world wiD
be astonished."
He held out his hand for the pencil, but
the other man made not the slightest
move.
at is in regard to sound" whispered the
stranger, in confidential tones. II have
discovered that it travels only half the dis
tance in given time mathematician have
figured on. Let me draw you diagram
and give you my deductions"
No move-not word.
MAY be you are not interested in the
science? No, don't believe you are. TIL
bet quarter you can't tell the difference
between the Stone Age and the Drift
Period"
No answer.
"If I should ask you how long since this
entire continent was one immense bed Of
ice what answer would you makc?"
The disgusted man pulled his right hand
out of his pocket. Then his left Then he
assumed perpendicular position, seized
the stranger and whirled him around, and
after walking him to the curbstone gave
him kick and returned and assumed his
original position. The questioner looked
astonished, indignant and greved as he
turned around, and slowly walking past
his assailant he observed:
"Sayl you do that again and I'll just
make you imagine that Glacial Period
has struck you between the eyosl Hang itI
I'll bet dollar to cent that you can't
guess the age of Lake Erie within a thou
sand years. No, sir, and you never heard
OF Noah's Ark nor the Deluge!"
But the taciturn man had gone to sleep.
-DetroitFree Press.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Plantation Philosophy.

Ei dar is place O. tormentiur anermals,
de balky hoss is gwino dar.
1t doan meek no diGiunce how big er liar
er pusson is he hates de pusson dat won't
tell de truth.
De road ter nearly eberythin' good is
bersot wild differkilties. De meat o. de
bony fish is de sweetest.
It's mighty seldom dat yer ken tell er
pusson 'zactly how yer wants er thing
done, an nine times outen ten it is better
fur er pusson ter do it hisse'f, fur ebeR Of it
ain done so well, he is better pleased wild
de job. When yer itches 'twixt de shoul-
ders it's er mighty hard matter ter tell er
pusson whar ter cratch.-Arkansaw Tray
eler.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
The Wonderful DesiSn.

Mrs. Quickenalth's husband had given
her a fine dress Of new material and new
design and she had it on at a swell recep.
ton.
"That's a magnificent dress your wife
wears" remarked friend.
"Well yes, / thought so," he responded.
pridefully.
"New design, too"
eyes, the latest"
"What is the figure on it2" continued the
friend, putting on his eyeglasses for better
examination.
Twelve hundred dollars" replied the
pleased husband, and the conversation
stopped d.-Merchant Traveller.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
I.

other day for a train, and as he was
walking in and out a good deal the police
officer on that beat cautioned him to look
out for confidence men.
"Oh, l know all about confidence men,"
was the reply, and that ended the CONVEX
sation for that time.
In about an hour the old man came
rushing up in an excited state OF mind and
cried out:
"Some internal skunk has picked my
pocket OF twenty-five dollarsl"
"Well, cautioned you"
"Youre liarl You told me to look out
for confidence men, and never said a word
about pick-pocketsl While was a-telling
one chap that was no greenhorn, and that
nobody could confidence me- his partner
got into my pocket. You're nice old
police force, you are!"-Detroit Free Press
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
The Trick of an Imp, as Told in Seven
Chapters.
lFllegende Blatter.l
ACCIDENTAL SHOOTING.
A Texas Darky Explains the Advantages Oi
His System of Defense.

A Texas Darky Explains the Advantages OF
His System of Defense.
The frequency with which unloaded guns
and pistols are discharged with fatal results
is suggestive OF the suspicion that some OF
the alleged deplorable accidents are the re-
suit Of deep design.
These peculiar accidents remind one Of .
conversation that occurred between two
negroes.
"What has yer got wropped up in dat
paper2"
Oats q pistil one oh dis heah pistils
what's easy on de trigger, what cocks hit
self and shoots hitself off"
"Whaffor does yer want pistil? Can't
yer lend yersef wild kniie?"
The other negro, who was a very hard
case, shut one eye, and with a smile that
was calculated to produce a shudder, re-
piled:
"When pistil goes off and kills man
yer kin make folks believe it went off by
akcerdent, but ef you say knife killed
man akcerdentally some folks will be shore
to hAb doubts. "-IexaS Sftings.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Hell will blow out my brains il you re.
fuse me.
She-That would be impossible. Sam
Ought to Be Satisfied.

" How is this?" said the angry patron
of ten-cent restaurant the other after.
noon. "There was rabbit down on the
bill of fare to-day, and didn't get it,"
" That's all right" said the urbane
proprietor. "You had hash, didn't your"
" Yes. But what has that to do with
it?"
" If your eye-sight was at all good,
you'd have found hare in it. The tooth.
picks are on the stand there as you pass
out. Sam, the Scaramouch.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

Here is a good story apropos of dueling
Two frequenters OF the principal cafe at
Aries quarreled, with the result that two
friends of the one who considered himself
the affronted party waited on the other, a
corn merchant in the town. The latter
received them courteously, but after hear
ing their message sent them back to his an
tagonist with the reply: "Tell NJ. Cariuza,"
he said, "that would give me great pleas
ure to fight him were we on an equality as
adversaries. But NJ Cariuza is bachelor
and am married man and the father Of
three children. Tell him that when he, too,
is married man and the father OF three
children will seriously consider his Chal-
lenge. ."-London FgNrO.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
TRADE REPORTS.

Three Store Scenes Described by an On.
gallant Reporter.
(Scene 1-Dry-goods storey
Lady Customer-Have you surah silks2
Salesman shows silks.
Lady Customer-Have you an invisible
green?
Salesman shows invisible green.
Lady Customer-Have you lighter
Shade?
Is shown lighter shade.
Lady Customer-What is the priceP
Salesman-Ninety cents
Lady Customer-Have you ANYTHING bet.
teri
Is shown something better.
Lady Customer-Have You'any for seven.
ty-five cents?
Salesman shows silks for seventy-five
cents.
Lady Customer-Yes, III see about it.
Good morning.
(Scene 2-glove department.)
Young Lady-Let me see some kid
gloves.
Salesman-What number and color.
Young Lady--Tan five and half
Salesman-We don't keep misses Sizes
Young Lady (much pleased Give me a
pair Of sevens then.
(Scene 3-shoe storey
Lady Customer-I want TO see some
shoes.
Salesman-What style and size2
Lady Customer-French kid, two's.
Is shown French kid, twos.
Lady Customer-What is the price?
Salesman-Four dollars and fifty cents.
Lady Customer-That is very high !;
haven't you some for four dolars2
Is shown shoes for four dollars.
Lady Customer-Haven't you some.
thing better for the same price2
Salesman-No, ma'am.
Lady Customer-Haven't you them with
French heels?
Is shown shoes with French heels
Lady Customer-Wbat price did you say
they were2
Salesman-Four dollars.
Lady Customer-They don'tsuit exactly,
but guess III take pair.
Salesman-Two's did you say2
Lady Customer-Two is my size, but as |
have high instep and don't like to cramp
my foot | guess you had better give me
tour and half.-DetrOit Free Press
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
He Was Thoroughly Posted.

"You are going into the lecture field, they
tell me?"
Eyes, think some of doing So"
"Have you ever had any experience in
public speaking?"
"No- never tried TO address an audience
in my liie."
But, my good sir, how can you hope to
succeed if you know nothing about the
lecture businessH"
"0h, Pm posted on the lecture business
You can depend on that"
"But how does that Gomez"
Gomez Why, great Scott man, I've
been married twenty-five years!" Chicago
ledger.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Where He Was Struck.

Witness-Yes sir. He struck me on the
bridge
Lawyer (sharply interrupting)-How is
that? You said awhile ago that he struck
you on the balcony?
Witness-so he did, sir. Tin tellin' you
no lie
Lawyer-Did he strike you more than
once?
Witness-Only once, sir Begorra, was
quite satisfied
Lawyer--How then could he strike you
on the bridge and ON the balcony at the
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
His Courage netraxed Him,

Dumley had been out with party ol
friends, and they were assisting each other
in getting him home.
" "Aren't you afraid to meet your wife, old
MANI" asked one.
"' Fraidl" said Dumley, valiantly, "whosh
'lraid? 'Fraid (hic) nuthin'. Y Jess wait
an (hic) see whosh boss, m wife r l."
They inclined him gently against the door
and rang the bell. Then they waited to see
who was boss.
Dumley suddenly disappeared, the door
slammed shut, and as they moved away
they said:
"She's boss. IN. Y. Times.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
A ChtId's Definition.

Mother" said little Rockland girl,
looking up from her book, "what does
transatlantic mean?"
"Oh, across the Atlantic, OF course. Don't
bother me; you make me forget my count"
"Does trans always mean ucross?"
~ suppose it does. II you don't stop
bothering me with your questions you'll go
to bed"
"Then does transparent mean cross
parent?"
Ten minutes later she was resting in ner
little couch.-Rockland Courier.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Eouestrian Nots,

Colonel Witherspoon used to be very
rich, but Of late he has met with financial
reverses. He has even been compelled to
sell his riding horse. His old servant re.
mains faithful. The Colonel uses bicycle
When he returns home on his bicycle, thu
faithful servant walks it up and down in
the yard for ten or fifteen minutes to cool
it of, before putting il in the stable
Texas Siftings,
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

Mr.. Easy-You shouldn't talk so much,
my dear. A prominent dentist uptown
delares that women who talk the most lose
their teeth the soonest.
Mrs. Easy (tranquilly )-Well, my dear, 1
shouldn't mind that very much. My teeth
have been troubling meso much lately that
would be glad to lose them.-Phiadelphis
Call
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

This Book Canvasser has just stated al
length to the Texan editor that the life OF
book agent is full Of misery, as he has to
do SO much walking and talking every day
of his life.
Now stranger" responded the Texan.
covering the wretched man with his six.
shooter, " l have had a sample OF your
talkin', let me see some o. your walkin'."
-SiftinQS.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
UNsELFIsHNEss

4 love my neighbOr, ON, so well,
That with my nose I'd have him smell;
With my own eyes I'd have him see,
And with my mind think thoughts like me,
Hove him So his WAYS I'd ax
In trade, religion. politics;
His thoughts, his deeds bis aims In fine
I'd shape TO harmouiZe with mine.
All, would he let me love him so,
How smoothly all our plans would g0s
In everything beneath the sun
and my neighbor would be one.
But oft times. when sit with him
And note his humor, sweet or grim,
With disappointed heart see
Ny neighbor is in love with nc
-R. j. Btudeyte. IN Brooklyn Ed0lA
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Objected to Being Tipped.

De Guy-I heard you were arrested the
other day on account OF beastly row with
a waiter.
Allcash-So was He had me arrested
for giving him tip.
De Guy-Impossible Who ever heard ol
such thing?
Allcash-Truc as shooting, though. He
was deuced insolent, and just tipped him
over the table with my boot-Philadelp
Gall
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

Well, boys, Isupposo you enjoyed your
sslves?" he said, upon the return OF his two
boys from a weeks visit at grandpa's.
"Well, pop, you can just bet we did. W.
had roast turkey, candies, nuts and mince
pies. We just stuffed until we were sick
We had a gorgeous time, hadn't we, Tom
my2"
"Yes, Billy, we had. d."-Philadelphia caH
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

Charley Highhyer-H Hello, OF feller. / see
you are wearing your.watch again.
Jimmy Tuffboy-Yes; got it back yester.
day.
Charley-That's funny.
Jimmy What's iunnyP
Charley-Why, I heard lady say the
other day that you hadn't redeeming
ieature,' Rambler.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

"Want your sidewalk cleared Off" he
asked OF citizen Of Woodward avenue.
"Just got man"
"Have any badges on?"
~ believe he has five or six"
"Then let him keep the job. I'm tramp
and hard up, but them roller-skating cham
pions has got to earn living somehow,
and I'm not the man TO stand in their way.
They are entitled to public sympathy and
assistance. "-Detroit Free Press.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Anxious Judge Peterby.

Mrs. Judge Peterby is a very spare wo,
man. She is excessively thin. A few days
ago her husband said:
II don't really think that you ought to
go out on the street, Mariah."
"Why not2" she asked.
"Well, you know there is 80 much danger
just now from mad dogs. They will bite al
almost anything"
"But 1 don't think l am in any more
danger than anybody else."
10, yes you are. Dogs love to gnav
bones. ."-Texas Siftings.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
oaIoN AND The GREAT DOG.
some of the Numerous Wonders Of the
Heavens.

some Of the Numerous Wonders Of the
Heavens.
"Why did not somebody teach me the
consultations and make me at home in the
starry heavens, which are always over
head, and which do not half know to this
day?p regretiully exclaimed Thomas Car.
lyle.
There are many persons who, like Car
lyle, regret that they have not learned, or
had the means Of learning, the geography
Of heheavens. The advances OF astronomy
in our day have been so rapid, and the
stars have made to the telescope and the
spectroscope so many strange and wonder
ful revelations, that nobody should be ig-
norant OF the names and places of these
great suns blazing in the depths of space,
and many of which are far larger and
more splendid than our own magnificent
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
III

took up the box, "How simple and poetic
a way of asking me to be his wife, and so
direct. All" and she kissed the blush pa.
per and tenderly united the string.
II tremble," she whispered. "Will it be
diamond, or a ruby, Or"
1t was neither. 1t was napkin.ring.-
San Francisco Chronicle.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
"
The TnIs Of the Trousars.

A Gardiner man brought pair Of pants
OF trader recently, giving an order on a
prominent ice dealer for payment, The
pants didn't fit, and he wished to exchange
them, but this the dealer refused to do, as
they were slightly soiled. The man was
indignant and sought the advice Of law.
yer. The lawyer went to the dealer and
persuaded him to take the pants back and
return the order. The man who returned
the clothing was delighted, and didn't think
IL at all exorbitant when the lawyer de-
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Not That Kind of a Ring.

deep in the satin recesses," his letter
ran, "of this fairy-box you will find ring
l had it made for you to inclose, as it were
my sentiments on this joyful occasion"
Her heart stood still.
"How beautiful" she murmured, as sht
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
Getting used to the PublIc,

Young Pianist (downhearted) )-Oh ,it'sno
use, don't seem to have any luck, The
people are continually telling me 1 can't
play, and have no talent whatever.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

manded the order in payment for his SER
vices The dealer got the pants; the law
yer got the order, and the purchaser got
left.-Augusta Journal
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
vi.

same time and with one blow?
Witness-Anyhow he did, sir.
Judge (interfering) )-On what balconyP
Witness-The balcony Of the hotel, your
Honor.
Judge-And on what bridge?
Witness-The bridge of my nose, sir.
Had the spalpeen waited, I'd told him.
PHILADELPHIA Call.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
THE WINGED HAT.

Angelina has hat
With wlngssOn every side;
Slaughter OF the innoCents
Those pretty wings supplied
Sign Of barb0rity,
Sign of vulgarity--
That winged hat.
The little bird of beauty born,
With Joy in every motion,
By cruel hands is slain and torn
For vulgar whim and notion.
0, the barbarlty,
o, the vulgarity--
That winged hat.
Bridget, too like Angelina,
Wears winged hat,
With colors loud, she is quite proud-
Her gait, it tells you that.
Type Of vulgarity,
Type of barbarlty-
That winged hat.
Boston Transcript.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
The Bad Little Girl.

She was in the parlor entertaining DR.,
Pillgarlic while her big sister was putting
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
VII.

Veteran Pianist-Don't be so downcast,
my boy. You'll soon get used to the ways
OF the public. Why I've had the same thing
said to me great many times, only yes
terday, in fact, and by man whom l es
TEEN highlY.-M Y. STIR.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27
SIMPLE AND SURE.
An Efectual Way to Prevent Conviots Fs-
Gaping from Jail.

Feed them on the fat OF the land, with
the above result, and reduce them by the
banting process in time for the expiration
OF their sentences.
The Southern herald., 1886-02-27

A Nice Old Police Force.
An old and innocent-looking man was
waiting at the Third street depot the