davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
LlK ED IT.

Country editor (to farmer Well how do you like my paper?"
 Farmer" First rate. The one go, last week wuz big improvement over the other ones you sent me-"
 Editor (~armly) -"I am pleased, my dear sir, to hear you so express yourself Would you care if were to print your statementI"
 Farmer" Not a tall"
 E iitor-" Ali right, I'll publish your statement It might be the means of in- creasing my circulation in your neigh bo'hood. Was there any special article that commended itself to yoa?"
 Farmer" No, b'leve not"
 Editor" Then why did you think so much of the last issue?"
 Farmer Cause the copy got wan, printed on but one side"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
LITTLE ROCK, S. A.. SATURDAY. JANUARY 80, 1886

cf the north recognize tho rabbit foot the sooner their condition will fad happy amel.oration The simplest inventions are the best; the simplest truths arc the strongest. Holy writ tells us that rich
 man once went ,o Elijah or Elisha l confess that am some shat unfamiliar with the names of those cid gentlemen - and asked to be cured of a malAdy. The prophet told h,m to go down to the river and dip hts hand seven times tn the water
 This was so supple that the rich man turned away contemptuousiy His ser want. a wiser man than he, told him to 70 down and carry out his in,uuctions, that he should not allow the simpleaes. oi the method to influence him. He went down to the tiver, dipped and was cured" :"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
A RELIGIOUS BOYCOTT.

"Colonel." said an old negro, ap- preaching q we'll known citizen, "l'sa roun' beggin' fur CT little hep rum CT mungs, de white gennermen. We'ss ,yin' mighty hard ter build or church, Aah."
 "lsnt this old Nick pAgcp'
 "Yas, sah."
 "Well, happened to be foreman ot the grand jury some time ago and re- member that you were indicted for steal ing"
 "Yer don't mean me, reekons, dis me what am standin' right heah, now 1"
 "Ycs. | do."
 "DoAn yer think da, dars room fur some sorses mistake ter creep inter dc % hsah prsrseegings 5'
 "l think not"
 Gwinc ter dem mo tiRh, heah, wld- out sf ;r'a!,"
 "You had a fair trial"
 "WAll. didn' do whut dc edge .ole me ter do1 Tolo mo ter go down on dc county farm, an done it. WAsa ss man do his duty yer kain' ax no mo- offen him. Gwine ter gin mo some money r"
 No, cent"
 "Whai, no, alter l hab dun made dis fine 'spia nation 2'' "Not nickel !"
 "Doan wantcr sec dc cause O der Sabiur prosper, l reckons. Doan want de cullud folks ter hab no salvation, l reckons ''
 The SAviours cauSe is getting along all right"
 "Doan b'lebe da, CT nIgHer is got no soul. does yerf'
 Some of them have moro body than soul
 Wall, aint one Q dem sort. Al- lus does mer duty when de ledge says SO. ledge tells me ter go ter jail 1 goes. Boss, dar's su,hin' 'bou, dis heah church whut gwineter consarn yesse'f er good cal
 "How SO"
 wy sah, we gwine ter build l, on CT 10, J'inin' yer house an dem shou,ln' niggers gwine ter keep yer CT wake all night"
 "You trninE scoundrel T."
 "Dats all rght. sah," moving awsy, "~e g~ine ter bico,. yss ~!d dem hlme an 'sams an prars. Good day. Cot yer foul. Er, haw haw."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
KNEW HIM .

:jevers! days ago, on an eastern rail. way train, a miniSteriai-Iook,ng gentle man approached man whom he knew and said
 "l have just had such A pleasant con. verSaiion with one of the most entertain. ing gentlemen whom have ever met 1 would like for you to mee, him. He is wonderfully fertile of fs.atement ou. V men expressed surprise at roneshing he had said, he warmly assured me, upon the honor oi gen,lema an. thA, never in bis life. even in a Jes,, hat hs ocen guilty of departure from the truth. There he is now"
 Don't yos know him 7" aAked the man who had been addressed.
 No"
 "i do. He is Tom Ochiitree."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
DID NOT FIGHT.

A boy with a rooster like air was stroll. ing along the street, when he saw a youngster of about his own size approach ing him.
 "Ill bet that snoozer thinks he can whip me-" he unused. "If he thinks l m going to get out of his way, he's off."
 The two boys collided.
 Boy No. I.-" Look out, you blamed fool. I'll knock your head of. Don'l bristle up to me-"
 Boy No 2.-"You must excuse me-"
 Boy No. I.-" Excuse aothin'. You had no business to do it an I'm goin' to whale you right here"
 Boy No 7-" would not have done so if could have helped it. am blind"
 Boy No. |. (seizing his hand. That all right, podner. didn't know you were blind. If was to ketch a iellel monkeying with you I'd maui him. Here let me put your hat on. There now, we're all right. Goodbye"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
WHY HE LEFT.

The Rev. Mu. Mauerson, the well kno ~n missionary, has returned from the island oi / Zookaluro. At a meeting oi ministers the other night, Mir. Mauerson said
 Gentlemen, don't care to 70 back 10 ,hs. country"
 Why 2" some one asked
 Well, I'll tell you. Shortly after ar irving in the island, l began keeping house employed fellow who could speak English to take charge of my household affairs. He seemed to be a very in,eIligen, fellow aud trusted him. One day an Engllshman who published a small paper, wrote au article, slander- ing me. was very angry and, in the presence oi my man. K .elo, said that [ was half incln-d to go over and cat the sd,tor up. wAs anxious to sec the next issue of his paper bu, Il did not come out. keeio. noticing my anxiety, said :
 "' Paper will not come out again
 " WhyY
 "' ( luse you help ca, editor three days ago
 "l did not long remain after that"
 Well, that was really unfortunate said one oi the ministcf but you could not help Il as you had been imposed upon"
 know that" the minister replied, but l was afraid ,ha, 1 could not with stand the temptation, so l came away"
 What temptation "
 "Well, you sec there was an Ametican editor in the island and ~as afraid that 1 might have to eat him."
 Bu, could you no, have discharged your servant, thereby preventing another imposition 7"
 "Oh. les, could have done that"
 Then why didn't youS"
 Gentlemen, you compel me to make humiilaing confession. Alter 1 had got taste oi one editor l hankefed for editorial meat. The editors nea, was no, so tender, but somehow l could no, help believing that II was meat thai, should be eA,en. Had eaten one more mess of tba, peculiar sort of meat, my son in -iaw would have been gone"
 "Why So2"
 "BecAuse he h an editor
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
AN ADJUSTMENT

The other day shoe dealer stepped to the door of his store and threw 8 pal, of shoes, used for sign, over frame. The string which held the shoes together broke, and one of the enormous shoes fell on the head of prominent politician from northwestern Arkansa~. Just here 1t may not be out of order to say that the shoe could not have struck any man from the north wes: without striking a promi- nent politician.
 "Look outi' the man exclaimed "Wha. in thunder did you hit. me for p
 "Excuse me, sir, it was an accident, I assure you."
 "Accident thunderation p he replied as he rubbed his head, "you've mighty nigh killed me an I'll make ysu pay for it."
 The aggrieved man drew himself up and was on the eve of striking the mer- chant when the merchant, knowing the characteristics of the northwest, said
 My friend, I've got a sick horse al my house and if you Il not be angry al me I'll let you go up and look at him.
 The aggrieved man seized the mer- chants hand, pressed it warmly. and sad:
 Thank you, sir, thank you. am a stranger here and have received no cour- tesy at the hands of these people. You are the first man that has treated me with respect. Pray lead m. to your horse"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
A WOLF.

Bill Ridly is a wolf, said old Judge Bcknell.
 "Why do you think so2" some one asked.
 "Well, I tell you. Some time ago, a roughly dressed man with bushy red whiskers rode up to my house and wanted to sell me horse, a lean anim Al but one in which saw many fine points. The fellow said he was In such need of money that he would take twenty dollars for the animal. gave him the money and took the horse. The sn,m Il fAttened rapidly. 1 found him equally ssrviceA ble in shafts or under the saddle. One day, shortly after the animal had devel- oped into as fac horse as had ever seen, Bill Rldly came along and claimed him. He brought forward sufficient proof to establish his claim and of course gave up the horse, thereby losing my twenty dollars besides losing the time l had spent in working with hlm."
 "l don't sec how you can blame Ridly."
 "You don't; then l will show you. The scoundrel wanted his horse fattened but was too stingy to spend money tor corn, so he disguised himself, sold me his own horse, then. after the horse was fat, came back and claimed him. Yes, Billy is a wolf. "
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
ANOTHER CONTRIBUTION.

Mir. George SAbberly. Of Dry Fork, Ark. recently sent batch of news notes to the No,M Tm<,ifan Rsvisw, but as that journal Ieiused to pdnt them. Mir. Sabbetly has decided to become q con- tibu,or to the CsSf1,y magazine. DpY FORK, January. iss6.
 MILsr Editor did think that would do some writing for the NorIA Im<r icaS RsviF1O but as that there pam phlet refused .o pay me turn my s..sa- ton to your popular pamph!st. under stand that you pay putty well and as 1 haven't got much to do A, this time of the year, wife she lo~ed that I'd better try you few falls. go, as the isIles said when he tilted the jag: Here's at yer. dod rot yer, kf I'd never seed yer I'd never toeh ysr.'
 You'd better put thA, in your funny de- partmen,, and l want to say ngh. here that humor Is my holt. Wife 'iows that I'd make hog laugh. Here's the item :. You can select the funny ones from the others.
 Oats is scarce.
 The river Is up.
 Dance at Ssephenson's night before last.
 Alb Tucker thinks he's smart but he aint more'n got sense enough to cut up his viddults.
 Is ,akes rip shorter to throw old Boys- town down.
 Eggs are scarce.
 Geese are dying.
 CONSTANT READER. Send me six pamphlets containing the above and will get you some signers.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
THOUGHT IT STRANGE.

Literary young lady (,o her father = Paw, thinks is's awful strange tha, you don't like Tennyson when everybody dotes on him.
 Father (~ith look of surprise )-@ do like him."
 Young Lady-"I am SO glad, fcr l thought that you disliked his writings. "
 Father" his writings; welt, haven't any use for his writings but I haven't anything personally against the old man."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

Wilkie Collins has never created a character but he has conceived more plots than any ether English writer. Many of his plots are feverish, nj ghtma aie- ish, in fact, but the plot of one of his books reveals no glimpse of the plot oi his other works. When Mir. Collins dies the man who wrote the posthum ous stories of" Hugh Conway" w1l have . difficult task.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

reckons dat is de bes' ken do. Wush dis klamity hadn'ter tuck place. ls do peer like has mo- trouble den any m an in de worl'. Thankee, sah," he added when he had received the money. " Good bye, Mars Lias. hit him putty hard" he added as hs was going down the steps. Blamed ole hat didnt cost bu, seventy-6 cents in de fust place, an sides dat 1t want mine nohow."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
A GOOD REASON.

"Uncle," said white man to an old negro, why don't you kill that dog p "Whut wanter kill him fur ?"
 Because he sucks eggs"
 Wall, femme tell yer bout dat. It doan meek no diffunce ef he do suck aigs he doan suck none O mine."
 Well if he Il suck them at one place he will at another"
 He won suck 'em at my house." "Why, because he knows that they are yours P
 "No, beca'se da aim none dar ter suck i"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

Alex. E. Sweet, editor of Texas SIkS- isgs, is writing . series of New York lst- ters :or the TexD Figaro. They will bs the means of materially increasing the circulation of that bright journal.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30
LIM NINGS.

There is church in Sumner couaty, Tenn, called Onion Bed. It took its name, doubtless, from the fact that it's congregation is sleepy.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

"Mark Twain says that his forth coming book is the worst piece of work which he has ever accomplished. Wha, he says may be true, but the Concord people are willing to gamble on Huckle- bery Finn"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

The South Americans put up sausage ia bark. Concerning this no common, is necessary, only, to say that the South Americans desire to preserve every phase of the dog.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

I'M. Gregory has taken charge of the editorial department of the Judge. Gregory is not only one of the best para graphic writers in this country, but is a man of fine literary taste. Under his editorial manage aent the Judge cannot help being a great publication.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

A London compositor made an annoy ing mistake in setting up an article de scriptive of the queens triumphant march to Westminster. The copy read, "the queen was greeted with hearty cheers" but the paper when it came out contained the announcement that Cher majesty was greeted with heavy cheese"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

There is nothing more dreary than ex- tremely cold weather in the South. The wind is damp and penetrating, and there comes not vigor but depression with the breeze. In the country the cattle stand in the woods and mournfully look at each other. The farmers are nearly always out of wood when the cold wave comes. They argue, with their amusing philosophy, that the cold waves wait until the wood piles are low.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-30

Mir. T. P, Grasty, who made the Plan tsys Journal glow with literary construc- ton, and who was at one tune connected with the Louisville Courier Journal has put his brilliant pen aside and is now travelling in the interest of famous to. bacco house. He is a gentleman of 6aest cultivation and is one of the few men who can write interestingly on any subject.
The Sunday tatler and Jersey City express. (Jersey City, N.J.) 1883-1886, 1886-04-18

WAsHNaroN, April II. The Hawaiian
Minister here, there is reason to believe,
has recently given the Administration to
understand that, if new treaty with his
country shall be agreed to, the famous
Pearl River Harbor and territory will be
cedsd to the United States for q coaline
station, and any other purpose that may
ha desired
The Sunday tatler and Jersey City express. (Jersey City, N.J.) 1883-1886, 1886-04-18
BOARD AND ROOMS.

LADY WISHES BOARD IN PRIVATE FAMILY.
"A east of Grove street and south Of the railroad
Will furnish room. Address P. b., TATr1ER office.
7c SUSSEX STREET NEAR WASHINGTON
~ house all modern Improvement; heated
throughout; front ROOM second floor, with arsi
class board for ladies or gentlemen; terms moder-
ate; an inspection invited; reference ex.
MRS. J. D. MACK.
NICELY FURNISHED ROOMS TO LET, SUITABLE
In for one two gentlemen, gas. bath, hot and
cold water; six minutes from the ferry; good loca
ton; family private; 1S9 Sussex street.
The Sunday tatler and Jersey City express. (Jersey City, N.J.) 1883-1886, 1886-04-18

BABYLON, L. T., April IA pigeon
shooting match between James Watson and
Chauncey Floyd of the Westminster Ken
mel Club, on the grounds of the Club this
afternoon for $1,000a side. was won BY
Watson by two birds. Each shot at 12f
birds. Watson killing 81.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-05-12

Osts-Spos weak; No. mixed 37tc
white 4O@42Ic; futures dull and steady;
No 2 white May 404c; June and JULY
59l@392; August 36@36{c. Provisions
Steady and fairly active. Lard-Steam
Sc l23. Butter-Qaiet aud easier; extra
23@24c; western dairy extra l5@l6c.
Cheese-Quiet and steady; Ohio fats
choice new 9@99c; do fair to prime S@
Ste PeSroleum-Dull; 10 Abel test in
barrels &c.
CBo1NEArI, o.. May ll.-Cottor
Steady; unchanged. Flour-Hesvy; IN.
changed. Whest-Weak; lower; No 2
red S6@S83c; receipts $500 bushels; ship,
ments $500 bushels. Corn-Dull and
lower; No. 2 mixed Sole. Oats-Easier;
No 2 mixed 3l3@32c. Rye-Steady; No
2 67@63c Barley-Ncminsl; almost out
ofmarket. Pork-Dull at 50 Is. Lard
In fair demand at S. 70. Bulk Meats
and bacon-Quiet and unchanged. Wits.
ky-Firm at 81 TO- Butter-Quiet; extra
creamery 2l@22c; choice dairy l2@l4c
Sugsr-Essy; unchanged. Eggs-Bsrely
steady at 9!c Cheese-Suopger; prime
new factory S@9c.
TOLEDO. O., May ll.-Wkeat-Active;
cash 83@86c; May Sc; June sage; July
83lc bid; August S3Sc Corn-Easier;
cash sic; MAY she; June 37lc. Oats
Easier. cash 32c.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-05-12
From II5 lbs. TO I6l lbs.
To the Cuticura Remedies ! Owe
My Health, My Happiness,
and NV Life.

A day never passes that do rot think and
. speak kindly OF the Cuucura Remedies Seven
years ago, all OF dozen Jumps formed on my neck,
ranging in size from cherry Stone 10 an orange.
he large ones were frghtui to look al, and pain
full to bear; people turned aide when they saw me
in disgust, and was ash tmed 10 be on the street
or in society Physicians and their treatment, and
all medicines failed 10 do any good. In q moment
the great Skin Cure, ard Cuticura soap, an ex-
quisite skin Beautider, externally, and Cuticura
hssolvent, the new Blood Purifier, internally; the
small Jumps (As Call them) gladually oisaPpsared,
and the large ones hScke in about two weeks, dis.
chArgirg large QusLgitlts OF matter, Leaving Two
sight scans in nv neck to-day 10 tall the story Of
my suffering. MY weight then was one hundred
and fifteen sickly pounds; my weight now
is one hundred and sixty Que s1lid, healthy pounds
and my height Is only Eve feet ave inches. 10 my
travels p'Aissd the Cuticula Remeii,s, North
and South, East, and West. To Cutcura Remedies
love my health, my happiness, ana my hie
day, "po you still use the Cuticura Remedies; you
look TO be in perfect health" Ny reply was, al
DO. aId shall always ! have never known what
sickness is since com mel ced using the Cutieura
Remedies" Sometimes am laughed NJ by praiS-
ing them 10 people not acquainted With their mer.
its, but sooner or later they Will come q their
senses and believe the same as those that use
them as dozens have whom have told. May the
time come when there shall be large Cuticura
Supply House in every city In the world. for the
benefit Of humanity. where the Cuticura Remedies
shall be sold only, so that there will be rarely
need Of ever entering drug store.
NJ. HUSSANDS,
40 Fulton ST., New York, y. Y.
Cuticura Remedies are a positive cure for every
fOrn Of skin and Blood Diseases, from fimples TO
rcrnfula Sold everywhere. Price: Cuticurs, 90
cents; Soap, % cents; Resolvent, N6o. Prepared
by the PoTTxR DRUs AND CHEMICAL Co, Boe-
ton, Mas.
Send for Glow to Cure Skin Diseases"
DIksPLEs, Blackheadi, Skin Blemishes, and
TIM Raby Humors, use Cuticura soap.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-05-12
FOR SALE.
Sale of Valuable Eighth Ward
Property.

IL n THE MUNICIPAL 'oOAi VI WHEEL
Frederick Hante, administrstor, &c =
Frederick Blschofi, and Others.
Pursuant TO decree In said Cause made on the
27th day of March, 1886, the underngned special
CON ~ ls-iOner, will cell, on
Thursday, May 18th, a. ID. 1886,
commencing at 10 O'Clock M. at public auction,
NJ the front door OF the Court House OF Ohio county
West Virginia, in the city OF wheeling, TO The
htahsst bidder the following described real sttats
of which Fredenek EisehoJ died seized and pos
.essed, 10 Wit:
Lot number eighteen ls, at the southwest e,r.
ner Of Forty third street, formerly West willow
street and kof street. Ufor merry FOarh street,
IN the ighth ward Of sild city
And also 10, number tSeniy four (2il In 'iHars
tsspty C7G), at the nOTthu'n oortG OF Jacob and
Forty second streets, in the Eighth ward.
Lot No. Is has Q two ,tory brick building upon
the same aud lot No. ~ has on IL tsostory brick
with saloon on the hrst floor, aud frame ad
dItion In the rear.
more Of the purchase money a. the purchaser shali
elect 10 pay, In cash, and The residue payGbS In
two Q lusl instalmspts In one aud tyS JsArs re
,pect ysiy IRON the day Of IT, with Interest uom
that dsT, tie purChsseE 10 give his prom'sofy
n otes, with security proved by the underngne1'
tanned until the pay ment in fail Of the pUrchas'
| money As 81 unity for suek paynsnt
ALFKED CALDWELL,
| Spseial COmmissiOner.
stats Of West virdLi', county Of Ohio. City o
! Wheslirg, N ~it;
| 1, 1homSs NJ. Dzu2h, Clerk Of aid Coart, d
| certify that the ABOVE named ,peeial commts:DOe
| hss given bond and tscnTty - required By la'
spsi Csit
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-05-12
WOOL.
Wheeling.


TUESDAY, May IL.
The market is still very dull and prices
anything but satisfactory. There has been
less wool sold in wool centres during the
past ten days than ever before in the same
length Of time. Coarse and medium
deeces are fairly cold up. but fue woods are
q drag upon the market. There is a little
new wool, mostly fat sheep wool, unvssh.
ed, making its appearance in the market,
but no new washed heeces have been offer
ed yet. We quote the following prices
which are nominal: XN and above,
washed, 26@28c; unwsshed, one-third of,
medium and coarse washed, 2S@30c; un-
washed, lS@2Oc,
Philadelphia.
PHILADELPHIA, May ll.-Wool-Quiet;
Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia y
30@3lc; medium unvashed comsing and
delsine 24@25c; coarse delaine 23@24c.
PETkoLEUM.
TITUsylLLE, Pa, May ll.-Petroleum-
National Transit certificates opened at
I; &c; highest 1880; lowest 72ic; closed at
72sc.
New York
New YORK, May ll.-Petroleum-
Opened strong at 73lc, declined 10 72tc,
and closed at 1899. Ssles, 100000 bar
rels.
PITTsBCRG, Pa, May ll.-Petroleum-
Dull but steady; National Transit GER
tifcates opened at 73sc; closed at 73sc;
highest 1899; lowest 73c.
Bradford.
BRADFORD. May ll.-Petroleum-Ns-
tional Transit Certificates opened at 73sc;
closed at 1890; highest 73sc; lowest 72!c;
clearsnces l,lsS,000 barrels.
Oil City.
OIL CRY, May ll.-Petroleum--Opened
at 1899; highest 73sc; lowest 72jc; closed
at 7Ssc; sales $4,000 barrels; clear.
ances 2lS2,OOO barrels; charters 33.SO7
barrels; shipments 84,667 barrels.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-05-12
A Card.

To all who aEs suffering from the errors
snd iudiscretions of youth, nervous weak:
meas, early decay, loss Of manhood, etc, l
will send receipt that will cure you, free
Of charge. This great remedy was dis
covered By a missionary IN South Amer
lea. Send o self,addressed envelope TO
the Rev. Joseph T. Inm4u, Station D, New
York CITY.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-05-12

From this time until noon the market De
come duller and remained heavy, Inc
market was festurelsss throughout eAeeps
a rally in Lackawanns at the close, any
advances in Milwaukee Lake Shors anu
Western 81 per cent. The market closed s"
dpll Int firm. Transactions l52, 0SO shares