Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-02-25

stHoW can I recall the awful tale? My
bleeding heart shrinks from reopening it's
wounds. Let the benediction of peace flood
our weary souls with rest. I am an emo
tional old man."
"You are right" said the commander,
"tet Joy rule this happy hour. Sit down
and partake with u.s."
They brought him refreshments, which he
seemed to appreciate immensely, and treat
ed him as their most honored guest. He adj
justed himself around four plates of beans
two pieces of pie and five cups of coffee and
then fell to work steadily on the sandwich
eS.
"How sweet" said he at length, "to meet
thus, linked by the indissOlubie bonds OF
fraternal love! All, now it fills my heart
and stomach! Excuse me if wipe away a
happy tear. I am an emotional old man."
All sat in reverent silence before the old
hero, until he began on his twenty-seventh
sandwich. Then the commander, whose
heart was overhowing with sympathy, ask
ed in pity:
''And did they treat you harshly in those
accursed rebel prisons?"
"What rebel prisons?" said the veteran.
"Did you not say that you were in south
ern PRISON."
"0h, yes. only got out last year. Igot
tlfee years QOWQ III leSdS lOF UOTIOWIuS q
mule. / am an emo"
The corporal tried to strike him and the
commander tried to trip him and the door,
keeper tried to grab him; but he slipped
from the hall like bullet from gun, and
the thought of the way in which he had be-
guiled them rendered the entire company
emotional in the highest degree.-Boston H.
lte1ainatOr.
Is
The historian doesn't know where this
story had its actual origin, but was ''told for
true" on recent ocean voyage to enliven
the company. A gentleman who had in
dulged quite too freely, and hadn't had the
discovery made for him in season to get a
carriage, was helped home by good Sama-
ritan. He was very grateful in an eXhila-
rated way, and asked his benefactor's name.
"My name?" said the gentleman from
Samaria. "Oh, Pm st. Paul"
The inebriate steadied himself by a final
effort, and looked dreamily at his depart
III shay" says he, 'St. Paul! Did you
ever get any ansher to that blamed long
letter you wrote to the Ephesians"
HE WAS ACQUAINTED WITH HER.
Jenkins went to hear lecture recently on
Napoleon Bonaparte and when it was over
he stopped at cigar store to hear it dis
II tell you," said Bilderstone, "Napo-
leon was the greatest general that ever con-
trolled an army, and only the mightiest
genius, the most heroic valorr, could have
induced him to cross the Alps"
"Fudge," replied Jenkins, 1.-THE Alps
amt nothin'. Just let him come up to my
house and try to cross my wife once, when
her dander is up, and if Nap. don't think
he is only grain of sand on limitless
shore, then I don't know the Bonaparte
family, that's l."-Merchant- Traveller.
DANGER?-An old lady read paragraph
in one of the papers the other day, de-
scribing how a grindstone burst in a saw
mill and killed four men. She happened
to remember that there was small grind
stone down in her cellar, leaning against
the wall so she went out and got an acci-
dent ntinsurance policy, and then summoning
her servant and holding pie board in front
ofsher, so that if the thing exploded her
face would not he injured, had the stone
taken out into the road where tWenty-four
pals of water were thrown over it, and a
Stick was stuck in the hole bearing the
placard marked Dangerous" She says it
is mercy that the whole house was not
blown to pieces by the thing before this.
WHAT He COULD PLAY.-An actor who
had raised various sums of money among
his acquaintances by crooked representa-
tions, organiZeda company and started on
tour through the provinces. A couple of
his victims met the day after.
"Ah, Tom, good morning." said one. II
understand Mercer has gone out with a
company to support him in star cast"
"Is that 500" was the reply. "What is
he going to play?"
Hamlet"
'The deuce you say. Well, he played
you and me and Timpkins, and Stone and
Jeffers and half dozen others, but I'll be
darned if I think he can play Hamlet."-
Merchant Tureler.
A PALPABLE EMIsTAKE.-Mrs. Smith: II
slider it my duty to inform you that l saw
your husband Coming out Of saloon last
evening""
Mrs. Hendricks "What time was it, Mrs.
Smith,"
Mrs. Smith: "About O'Clock"
Mrs. Hendricks: "Did you say he was
coming out or going in?'
Mrs. Smith: "Coming out"
Mrs. Hendricks positively: "You have
mistaken him for some one else. John never
comes out of saloon as early as So'clock." !"
". Y. Sun.
n@ The Chinaman mentioned in the fol-
lowing incident jumped at conclusions: His
teacher at tSunday-school was trying to make
him learn prayer, but he rejected the
Lords Prayer and others on the ground that
they were too long. The prayerof the pub
lican-"Lord be merciful to me, sinner
pleased him and he consented to learn it.
The teacher tried to explain the publican's
position in society, when she was interrupt
ed with the query: "You Publican ?"
She answered in the negative. "Then you
Democrat" was the decisive reply.-Bos-
ton Journal.
b6 Two doctors were disputing by the
bedside of a man during his recent illness.
II tell you the liver is diseased" said one.
"Nonsense nothing of the kind. 1t is the
Spleen" said the other. Every we'll, we
shall see who is right at the post mortem
examination" Hearing which the patient
became real mad and got up and dressed
himself. He began to improve from that
time and hasn't known sick day since.
Ne,o York Telegram.
HG Occasional Churchgoer Ito minister)-
ing, Mr.. Goodman, about laying up treas
ures where neither moth nor rust can cor
rupt, and where thieves cannot break
through nor steal"
Minister (earnestly)-"It was, indeed, sir,
and trust you will profit by it,"
occasional Churchgoer-"I intend to. Ev-
cry cent can raise goes into land. Moth
and rust can't hurt land, and no thief can
steal it,"
@ A wholesale house in Chicago started