The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-08-13
VARIETIES.

Learn not to see everything She is a
good housekeeper who knows what to over
look.
Papa" said little five year old, point
ing to turkey gobbler strutting around in
neighbours yard faint that ed-nosed chicken
got an awful big bustle?"
1T seems hard thing that so many dudes
should be walking about with nothing to do,
when the hand organ man has to paw $40 for
monkey.-BaltinaO,e Herald.
Beware of gossip; a little quiet shutting
OF the mouth when we are tempted to tell
what we "heard about somebody" would soon
cure that abominabe habit of small talk.
1t is entirely unfair for man to sneer at
a woman's inability to understand a base
ball game until he has proven his own ability
to grapple with the mysteries of crazy quilt
social.
1t seems to me we can never give up
longing and wishing while we are thorough
ly alive. There are certain things we feel to
be beautiful and good, and we must hunger
after them.
"A -year-old" discovered neigh
bor's hens in their yard scratching. In
most indignant tone she reported to her moth
er that MIR. Smiths hens were "wiping their
feet on our grass"
Nice weather we have been having for
high, tight collars. But Cholly doesn't mind
it, you know. Cholly would wear sealskin
trousers through August if wales" would set
him the example.
"A minister who had received number
of calls, and could scarcely decide which was
the best, asked the advice of faithful old AT
rican servant, who replied "Massa, go where
de most debble is p
I'D like to look at some of your check
SUITS" said the dude customer to his tailor.
And I'd like to look at the check for your
last suit" replied the merchant. The dude
considered himself chcckmated, and passed
out.
An Italian called at the Boston Post Of
flee a few days ago for his mail. There
was letter for him on which was due 10
cents for postage. A few hours afterwards
he called again and, handing the clerk 10
cents, said :-"Tenna ccnta. Wantee mother
lcttee."
-"What nonsense ?" exclaimed Bertha.
"The idea of telling Mrs. Brown that YOU
were only twenty -threew But didn't do
right, dear ?" replied Edith. "You know,
mamma has always taught us not to exag-
CRATE. 1t is better to understate than over
state, you know"
An lrishman applied to a lady who had
taken house at Bray for the summer for EN-.
ployment But my good man." replied the
lady, 81 have brought my servants with me.
have nothing for you to do" "Ah thin,
maam, if we only knew how little work it'd
take to occupy me"
Here is Il wrinkle which ladies who wear
white dresses will be grateful for: If white
clothing, say dress, is put away in some
dark closet or drawer, it WILL in time, become
yellow. But if it be placed in box lined
with blue paper, or even wrapped in q dark
blue cloth, it will come out as white as it
ever was, no matter how long it stays.
-"Who is that poor, old ragged-looking
man, papa?" That's an inventor, child;
he invents entirely new ways of saving time,
money and labor in the production of useful
articles" "Who are those gentlemen with
big gold chains and diamond studs ?-they
aren't inventors, are they ?" mo, dear they
improve the machines the other man invent
ed."- Scientific american.
An lrishman visiting Boston was being
told by Yankee about famous sausage
machine they had there, the bullock being
driven in alive at one end and coming out at
the other ready made sausage. "Oh, that's
nothin,' replied Pat. "Shure and we have a
machine jist the same in County Clare only,
if the sausages begin to get high, they
Just put them in at the other end of the
machine and they come out live bastes again."
Little Florence was besieging her father
to take her to visit her grandmother, who
lived some miles distant. To get rid of her
importuning he said: at costs ten dollars
every time we go to see grandmother,
Florence, and ten dollars don't grow on every
bush. Neither do -dollar-grandmas
grow on every bush" answered the little girl
promptly, and her logic was convincing
They went.