The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-02-12
THE BOXED EAR.
TRANSLATED FROM THE GERMAN.

house IN Berlin, in which there were
several other families. Once he wasi in
the sitting room awaiting her return.
She returned about 8 O'Clock, and ap-
parently in the best OF humor, for she
was laughing when she entered the
room.
He.-lou must have had a Jolly time
oft, Eliza.
She (stilllaughing)-l'nbe bet anything
IN the world you can't guess what |
am laughing about. 0. it was just too
funny for anything, and before remov-
ing her hat and cloak she sat down in
a chair, and took another hearty
laugh.
~ haven't the slightest idea what
you are laughing about"
well, I'll tell you at once, and re-
lieTe your curiosity. Mr.. Van Duzen
boxed his wife's ears"
It's not possible; not before every
body??"
eyes, he did. He gave her such a
box on the a at the supper table
that some OF the company covered up
their heads with the napkins for fear
OF being hit by the flying sp%linters. 1t
sounded like hitting q beefsteak with
the Hat side of an ax, or blowing open
q safe. He wanted the lamp on the
right side OF the table on account OF
his weak eyes. She wanted to put it
on the lett side OF the table, so she
could the better show other diamonds.
He pulled the lamp over to the right,
and she pulled it back to the left.
They dad that half a dozen times
until l was afraid the lamp
would explode. All at once she grab
bed up the lamp, and set it down IN
the middle of Il big dish OF spinach,
then she caught it fair and square on
the left cheek. had to laugh at her
stupid look when he smacked her
face, bat / WAS very angry at him, for
/ think that the man who strikes o.
woman is Il miserable coward"
ooh, yes; very often be is"
Very often! No, sir, the man who
strikes u woman is always a wretched
cow.ra."
But suppose she cxasperates him
beyond endurance? There are such
women"
Have You got the hasdihood to de-
fend that brute Nan Duzen for brut-
ally a%ssaulting his wife,"
by no means. All | say is that
there are cases where q woman ought
to be slammed against the wall until
she adheres to it."
by saying that there are such
cases do you want to bring about
that sort OF a crisis in this family,
eh?"
Great heavens! no, not even in a
dream do want to put such n cata-
clasm i'll notion"
"What do you mean by laughing in
that manner"
Il am laughing ut the idea of Van
Duzen cutting his wife's ears"
Gle is q brute andyou are no better.
You men always uphold each other in
your devilish rascality. Isupposeyou
would like to follow his example and
box my ears"
NO, would not proceed to such
extreme measures, although you do
love to quarrel sometimes"
do you dare to intimate, that, un-
der any circumstances, you would box
my ears?"
ooh, no, I'd be afraid to take II
such risks, although youare very pro
voking at times"
DO you say that I-I-am provok-
lng-that | like to dispute?"
"My dear, be calm; don't you re-
member how you insisted this morn
ing that the actor, Haase, is b!onde?"
"And so he is"
"But tell you that ne has dark
brown hair and eyes"
"And | tell you that he is a blonde.
You are ., liar?'' she screamed.
"All right, it's just as you say; but
please don't box my ears" he retort-
ed.
"You needn't try any Of your feeble
sarcasm on me-"
"Once more say you are right.
His dark hair has turned into a beau.
tltul old gold Just because you say SO.
You could be bottled up and sold fo1
hair dye, you are asource of revenue"
"lf you We're a gentleman, which
you are not, never was, and never
will be, you would have admitted your
mistake and asked my pardon, but
that is more than could be expected
OF you. Nobody can make q silk
purse out OF a pigs ear.
"Thank you, dear. Now, il you
have no objection, We will close the
debate"
I'D like oknow how you came to
know so much about that actor,
Haase. wonder ii you are noGin the
habit OF going behind the scenes and
associating with actors and actresses,
instead of spending your time with
your stamily?"
Mr.. SJreitig sighed heavily, and
turned his eyes up to the ceiling.
THAT'S right keep yourmouth shut,
Don't give yourself away. Don't an
swer any OF my questions. You be-
lieve in the motto. Ask me no ques-
tions and III tell you no lies"
y am not feeling well, and if you
would onIy give me onlya partial rest
would regard it in thelight ola price
less boon"
II think you might make a feeble
effort to act the parto OF a gentleman
"You said a while ago that it was
impossible for me to do SO. What is
.he ,ise OF my trying? What would
you think OF me if were to expect
you to quit quarreling for a whole
day."
, He walked into the next room with
gesture ofdespair. She followed hin
up, and said tauntingly:
30, yes; you think it was somethin'
grand and noble forVan Duzen to DO,
his wife's ears. Now, let me warn you
: George, don't you let yourself b