The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-12
A DELIGHTFUL COMMISSION.

proposal, when the young lady said:
'Mr. Smythc, you pass MIR. Thin
plate, the jewellers, OF. your way home,
do you not" -,
"Well, would you mind doing me q
little favor?"
tMind! dear Miss Browne" he re-
piled, with a look of unutterablc re-
proach; you have but to name it!'
"Thanks! Will you kindly ask Mr..
Thinplate if he has frightened the setting
of my engagement ring which Mr..
George Simpson left with him yestcr-
day?"-Ha,per's Bazar.
HE SPOILED THE
whats got inter dis blame foot dis
morning Hurts like all git out!"
"Wa'al, if yo' vans ter know, it's a
pipe in yo' boot-yaas, a pipe. 1 put it
in las night ter s'prisc yo' dis mornin'.
an you've gone an blundercd all ober
yo'sef, an put it on, an 1 has to relate
dc full particulars IN circumstances.
Poorly s'prisc, hain't it? Beshye mex
s'prise yo' hez yo' make yo'sef."-
A HEATHER MoNGoLIAN.
Sometimes strange difficulties are en-
countercd by the young ladies who are
endcavoring to teach Christianity to the
Chinese in the Sunday-schools. One of
the most conscientious as we'll Us one of
the brightest and pretticst of these
teachers was attempting to inculcate
upon the heather mind of a sleek-look-
ing Monaghan the lesson of charity
toward all. 1--WE should love one an
other" said the good teacher. The
Ohinalnan looked mcekly up into her
face and quietly asked: "Do you love
every oneT" eyes" she answered. "Do
you love me9" was the ext pointed i'll
quiry. ~"Y-y-yes." "Will you mally
met" There was no direct answe to
this question. But the teacher has
since changed her pupil for a Chinaman
of a less logical turn of mind.
A TRICK OF THE TRADE.
Grocer Ito new boy)-You must tell
people we are very busy, James, whether
we are or not. They like to buy of a firm
that they think does a large trade.
New Boy-An right, sir.
Grocer "a little later)-Didn't old Mrs.
Benson want anything, James?
New Boy-Yes, sir; she wanted a
couple o. mackerel an ten pounds o.
brown sugar, an I told her we was so
busy we didn't know which way to turn,
an SO she said she was in a hurry, an
she'd get 'em round the corner.
A NUISANCE.
Maud and her George were in the par
4or, and Maud's father, who, by the
way is down on the mugwumps, was
laying down his political tcnets to
Maud's George:
II tell you," he exclaimed, "the dem
ocratic and republican parties embody
all there is of wisdom in party manage
ment. We don't want any third party
here"
''Ihat is it precisely, papa" replied
Maud; "a third party is a nuisance any
where"
Maud's father counted noses, con-
cluded that he was the mugwump and
withdrew from the ield.-Binqhamton
Republican.
A HUSBANDS soLIC1TUDE. ,
"John, father and mother are coming
tomorrow to spend the week, and l do
hope you will be nice while they are
here"
II am sorry to say, Maria, hat I have
an important engagement which will
keep me away all the week."
"This is the first time that you have
said anything about any engagement"
81 know it.. but l meant to speak
about it tonight" .
cob, l was mistaken; it's next week
they're coming"
"Thcn I'll put off my engagement, as
don't want to leave you alone."-
N Y. Sun.
PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY.
A Brooklyn man who is building him
self o home, stood in front of the half
finished structure the other day when a
stranger accosted him with:
'.Are you tho owner2"
eyes, SIR"
Chow do you propose to heat your
aouse2"
H'With a mother-in-law, SIR"
stPer-fectly satisfactory" stammered
;he stranger as he passed On to dodge
around the corner.
THE BROKERS YACHTS.
When Mr.. w. R. Travcrs was at New
30rt last summer, a great many fine
yachts lay in tho harbor.
Observation-Disclosures yacht is th-th-
ha-thata'h he asked, pointing to one of
chem.
'"'That belongs to Mr.. Jones, the we'll
Known broker.0
Mr.. Travers raised his dexter finger
lowly and brought INTO line another
sSacht. Observation-Disclosures yacht is
:hat2'' he asked nth some difficulty.
sstQoh, that's Mr.. Smiths the broker,
s.Whswh-whose is that?" pointing out
till another.
ssThat belongs to Mr.. White, another
Hoker.
"W-w-well, wh-wh-where's the Gus
iomers, yachts2' inquired the great Wall