Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-17
A TIP TAKERS REVENGE.
INSULTS GIVEN WITH OBsEQUI-
Gus POLITENESS,


said, secretly rejoices IN the misfortunes
Of his friends. thought of it last night
while was being entertained by the alb
tect misery OF Colonel of militia with
whom have a casual acquaintance.
1t was divertiug but cruel spectacle.
The aggressor was a polished, lofty, lnsO-
lent aud supercilious waiter in famous
uptown restaurant. He started out to
make the Colopers dinner a failure and
he succeeded to the fullest extent. 1t
was artistically done, too, for at no time
was the writhing victim able to complain
of any well-defned grievance, though
smarting constantly from petty annoy
anNS.
The Colonel is a cheerful, generous and
entertaining man, but he mas one bobby
he Is the sworn opponent OF the system OF
feeling servants IN vogue all over the CIV
ilized world. and he has defended mis- the
cries 30 many times both In print and in
conversation that everyone is aware of
his popularity.
He walked into the restaurant late last
night AID after giancing sharply around
dropped down at the table next to mine.
After a cheerful nod he III bbed his hands
briskly and glanced around for water.
They were all strangely and unnaturally
busy except a tall and suave FTenc
who stood with his face towards the Col
onel. but with his eyes gazing into in
inity over the warriors head. The Col
onel nodded, beckOned and waved his nap
kin until he was quite red In the lace, but
the waiter still stared sweetly into va
caucy. Then nervous Old gen1eman,
who mad been observing the Colonel with
evident alarm. iabbed the waiter in the
ribs with his cane and pointed to the pant
ing late conner. The waiter 1rst bowed
with extreme respect 10 the old gentle
man, and then strengthening up swa ger
ed slowly towards my acquaintance
Halt way there he stopped to move some
chairs in a lie surely manner, picked Up
paper, looked carelessly out OF the win
dow and so drifted W to the customer. He
leaned over the Colonel with an air Of
ironical obseQulousuess as the latter
blurted out:
bring me some oys-"
The waiter turned on his heel and
Bauntered away, leaving the Colonel
speecnless and staring at me with his ewes
starting out of his head. nearly swal-
lowed my fork, so contagious was the Col
onel's agitation. Then the hungry and
badgered man raised yell that brought
the head waiter to the spot,
WHAT the deuce does that internal
hound OF a waiter" gasped the Colonel,
''meau by leaving me before Pve given
my order?"
'.Why, Ms's'er," said the offender, as
he hurrIt d up behind the head wa ter with
table cloth on hls arm, Pm sure there
is some mistake. M's's'er begins his
order and hurry 10 spread re clotn SO as
not to delay M's's'er."
1t was said with such plaintIve and
child-ike humility that the Colonel was
pacified 10 spite of himself.
Then the head waiter went away and
the Colonel said shortly:
"Biing me some oysters and later a
small bottle of chateau la rose"
The waiter went away, looked at the
stock indicator, stopped to chat with a
group OF his fellows who glanced at The
Colonel and laughed, cracked a little joke
with the boy At the cigar stand, regarded
himself in the mirror with great deibera
tion and then strolled slowly into the
kitchen chatting amiably on the way.
"Devilish popular chap. that waiter Of
miner' said the Colonel as he watched
the man with the smile of a frenzled
hyena.
Yes. It's owing, think, to his gentle
ways and kindly disposition"
az don't suppose he'll be gone more than
an hour after those oysters, Will hep"
1t may not have been an hour. but it
was an astoundingly long time. and when
they appeared couldn't repress grin.
Tnev were positively abnormal. never
saw bigger oysters in my life, and eating
any dinner after having downed those six
monster Divalves would have been out Of
the question. The Colonel was mi crab Y
con soiOus at the waiter had him on the
hip ne had not asked for small oysters.
He ordered celery soup in a subdued
voice, and after cutting one of the oysters
into doZ, n pieces he sous d ii in pepper
bauce and made a feeble onslaught.
Meanwhile all the other walters filed bv
with covert chances, while the French
waiter moved thinSs about the table with
q snsrling tace and manner that was in
itself an attront.
The soup was cold, but the outburst
came when the waiter placed The most
delicate and exquisite OF clarets on the
table iced almost bard. 1t was a fitting
climax To the Eagged. haunting, jeeriny
and IusOlent course that bad be pur-
sued, and it was certainly master strot @
OF mpertioence 10 offer to a red-taced and
gouty old bon vivAnt. But the waiter pro-
ties ed that gentlemen sometimes iced
their chdteGu III rose.
~ gentleman couldn't do such a
thing" said the Colonel, holly.
Then he III ned To me and asked:
''Could ht!"
sslt would be a crime" assented, seri.
busly; ard so J WAC drawn into the wran.
gle and was appealed to alternately there
after by tie walter and the hungry Col
prel.
He sent the soup and wine back, anc
they were retained after another pro
tracted wait-DOth at too high a tempera
tuTe.
AS time went on and the war wageC
conceived a higher admiration for tina
walters qualities every minute. He wa
abe most consuniuately tantalIZing Tasca
j ever saw. Every course Of Inc dlnne
was wanting In some essential particu
lar. yet nowhere could one point out o.
instance Of deliberate insolence or forget
fulness. The waiter almost tawned Ol
bis victim at times, and yet kept him raw
through tie whole meal. Every tninl
went wrong, and when the coffee wa
poured out u ndeF the diners nose II wa
The coolest coffee in existence. wasst
ting at tho COopePs table then. as m,
own dinner had been furnished an bou
beior.. Tue Colonel had got 10 a poin
where blank despair had settled on BIZ
Boul.
s'uet me a cigar-a perfecto," he said
Bb ortly without looking at the waiter a
all.
when the cigar arrived it proved to b,
one ui those einuous. W cked and twisted
black we, ds That make smokers 4 tn
most COURAGEOUS sort leel afraid. But IN,
ua IA IA,