The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1886-03-05


what Dakota Editor Has 20 Say About
Dictionary Revision
A new edition Of Webster dictionary
is soon to be issued under the editor
ship Of President Porter. Of Yale. II
will doubtless be found 50 difficult to
reconcile the spelling with the many
approved forms in use in this free
country that the professor might as
well not try that but we want to say
word to him about the pictures Some
Of them need reforming They should
at least be rounded up and some Of the
corners cut OF and fixed around little
generally. while few Of them should
be fired
The picture ofthe whisk-broom comet
with hole in il must 60 II don't
help on the grand cause Of astronomy
| TO any very great extent. While in
| the astronomy business You might a.
well put little more neck on the moon
| fish. You win find il hard work TO
convince the rising generation that this
fish butted his head against the stern Of
a boat and drove il down into his
shoulders till his dorsal fin grows ont
Of his eyebrow.
1t would also probably be better to
set the legs about six inches farther
front on the f!amingo- The latest
| fiamineo fashion plates show that they
are wearing their legs well up in the
vicinity Of the neck-fie- II might be
| well to put Little less villainous ex-
preston on the dodo. The dodo is
dead. and there Is no use Of irving to
run on him and make sport Of him any
longer. even il IL was considered the
| correct thing in Websters time
| The pelican also needs revising. He
Is too poor. and we would suggest
that YOU take him in hand personally
and stall-fccd him for . few weeks.
Goldfish newly extracted from the
briny deep will do the business-don' I
expect to see him pick up on diet Of
railroad spikes and cord-wood like an
ostrich.
The way Webster laid out the COW
isn't altogether in accordance with
modern usage. He only has one place
marked sirloin whereas sirloin steak
can be cut from any part Of the ani-
NAL.
The ridge-pole on the Bactrian
camel ought 70 be Strengthened ost .
little. While you are fixing him over
you might - well put better looking
countcnance on him.
You had better bounce the present
picture Of the orang-outang and get
him to sit again The rhinoccros
xhou1d alan % ssulcss wou c~u sccurx.
q portrait which does not look quite 30
villainous- The one now in the book
Is not fit to associate with the other ami
mails. Try and get little more pleas
ant expression on the gorilla Have
him hold his chin a little higher and
try and look natural. As he Is at pres
ent he II one Of the worst looking
scoundrels in the book Have the hip
popotamus open his mouth; while the
hippop0tamus ON every circus-po$ter
in the country stands with his mouth
open displaying four rows Of teeth the
one in Webster has the entrance TO his
provision depot Theoretically sealed
and one ear sawed or
The snakes need considerable over
hauling. Take the anticipating on
the back Of the hooded basllisk-it q
not fashionable. Unite the knot In the
boa-constrictor and remove the string
Of brass baggage checks from the tail Of
the rattlcsnake. Take the stand-up
collar on the frillcd lizard and put s
basque on him. Let reform be the
watchword in the great work you have
undertaken. Esfciiine o. To- Bell