davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
VOL. XXXI----NO. SO.
VARIETIES.

Young boys stomachs are always in apple
pie order.
Charity probably embraces three distinct
classes of elements; Principles sentiments
and habits.
"A guest at the marriage of deaf and
dumb couple Witty and calamity wished
them unspeakable bliss.
Bachelors Logic Marriage is lottery,
lotteries are Illegal therefore, 1 simply obey
the law by keeping single"
Nothing is more ruinous fora man than
when he is mighty enough in [any part to
right himself without right.
Ruth was not designing woman and
yet she managed to get as good Boaz as any
the other girls who both sewed and reap
ed
"A little stealing is dangerous part, but
stealing largely is noble art; tits mean to
rob henroost of hen, but stealing thou.
sands makes gentleman.
An exchange gives long list of reasons
whysyou shouldn't snub boy, but omits the
principal one, which is that nine times out of
ten it's waste of time to try.
AN lrlshman who had on very ragged
coat was asked of what stuff it was made
"Bedad, don't know !" said he; "but think
the most of it is made of fresh air"
-"Well, what do you think of the new
neighbors who have moved in next door, Mrs.
Pryor ?" 81 haven't had chance to form an
opinion. They haven't had washing hung
out yet"
Child lin the country -"Does bored
spell board, mamma ?"
Mamma-"What kind of board ,fpetg"
II am writing to Nelly that we are here
getting country board"
That spelling will do, dear"
-"Who .is'your. favorite author ?" asked
the literary writer. Maggie quickly replied
The author of my being, of course, dear
papa" 1t is unnecessary to say that papa
Immediately came down with the cash for
the new dress which Maggie had set her
heart on.
Here is good Irish story-we fancy it
has not been in print before. A pair of"vic-
Tins" are waiting behind hedge for their
landord-guns loaded, cooked, and ready for
action. 1t is past the time at which he was
expected TO go by. Still they watt and wait,
Pat" says Tim, 81 hope nothin' has happen
ed to the poor ould jnlleman p
Noted Lawyer-"Youa already have three
lawyers, sir, and the estate you are. after is
only worth 100000"
Expectant. hertz have studied law, just
been admitted to the bar, and want to be the
other lawyer myself"
"But what's your object?"
why, you see, in case. of success.I willsbe
entitled to share"
There is no wealth but life. Life, includ-
ing all itspowers of love, of joy and of ad-
miration. X That country is the richestlwhich
nourishes the greatest number of noble and
happy human beings; and that man is rich
est who, having perfected the functions of
his own life to the utmost, has also the
widest helpful influence, both personal and
by means of his possessions over the lives of
others.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
Old Kelley.

Old Keeley was gray-hairrd negress, who
was employed in one of the city stations of
the great Pennsy lvania Railway, to take care
of the waiting-room for ladies. She was ex-
quisilely neal, and, being Quaker, wore the
brown gown and lawn cap of her sect All
her movements were quiet, aud her voice
was low and gentle.
Many trains went out every day from this
station to suburban places, and the same
peoplc-iuthers of families, anxious house
wives, schoolgirls and boys, nurses with
babies-camc and went continually Old
Kelley knew them all. She was alone in the
world. Her children and friends were all
dead. But tue poor negress had big heart
full of affection, and it went out TO every liv-
ing thing that came near her.
If a stranger sat down to rest in her tidy
waiting room, she brought her fan, or a
glass of water; and tried to be of use in her
humble friendly way.
The people whom she saw every day she
called to herself her families" Ifone of the
babies was sick nobody took q keener interest
than old Kelley. Occasionally she had an
apple waiting for the hungry school-boys, as
they hurried to the train, and heartily ad-
mired every new, pretty gown which the
girls wore. II, in their hurry, they forgot to
speak kindly to the old woman, there she
was on their return, as anxious, gentle and
friendly as ever.
Everybody on the road knew and liked old
Kelley They did not always like each
other. Many OF them were wealthy, fashion,
able people, and there were unfortunate jeal-
ouses among them. One rich mans wife
disiked one of her neighbors because of her
very fine eQuipage and house The two
women treated each other with silent con-
tempt, but they both stopped for a friendly
chat with the poor janitress, who was 30
humble and sincere.
Sometimes tired, belated traveller, coming
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
Where he Misses 1t.

| wonder if anybody lives the life he wants
toaand has things happen to him as he ex-
poets or wishes. If the power of dreaming
were taken away life wouldn't be worth living
for. The summit of all mems ambition is in
dreamland, and it is a wise dispensation of
Providence that they never get there. How
ever high we climb, there is still another
peak beyond. The humble boot-black, look
ing up from the shining leather does not wish
he were the swell who is having his boots
cleaned. He wants to run the stand," and
when he reaches that dignity, he gets his eye
on the cigar store attached and buys that
only to dream of owning the saloon. at the
back. The senator sees the presidents chair
in the distance and when he gets there che
looks over toward Wall street and sees Jay
Gould and Huntington away up on higher
hill, and when man gets all the money he
thinks he wants he looks across and sees a
newspaper editor sitting above him and look
ing down upon him. Then he wants to run
newspaper, and before he reaches the sum-
nit of his ambition he's bankrupt and got to
begin all over again.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10

from long journey, would have to wait for
a night train. Old Kelley then found her
opportunity. She made bed on the sofa
brought water and a white soft towel; and if
she was allowed to brew the stranger cup
of tea over her lamp, she was happy. These
were humble services; yet the spirit of them
was fine and noble.
Its mighty dreary," she would say, "com-
in of a long journey N fndin no trien's "a
Waitin'. Whenever thee comes to this sta
ton, honey, asst for ole Kelley"
She had her pains and ailments like other
| old people, but she never spoke of them.
"Iwuble huff in de worr got no right
to lay mine ON other folks shoulders"
She grew slowly thinner, her hair whittier,
her skin grayer. One day it was noticed that
she went TO the door and watched her friends
wistfuly as they entered the trains and were
carried away, offering her hand humbly to
some OF the children as they hurried past her.
In the evening she set the room in perfect
order before leaving, and gave it long fare
well look.
Use goin' on u long journey myself, now,' "
she said to another of the attendants who
loved her. 81 hope find friends waitin' for
me at de end"
She died that night. Can any one doubt
that q Friend waited for her beyond, in the
silent land where she now finds rest?
In the fables of the old Greeks there was
mention of an herb, "of little beauty,
and of lowly growth, so that the shepherds
despiscd it," But he who carried it found
friends among men, beasts and the gods. IL
was humility. In this age, as among the
Greeks, animals, men, and God Himself love
the human soul that in purity and sincerity
carries that herb of grace through life, min
isterng in loving, godly service to the needs
Of others.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
II spirit death was peace
How to Talk.

There are plenty of good people in this
world neither weak nor foolish, who be-
come almost iusutferable in society, from
their tediousness in talking. They COM
mence sentence and pause, make great
account of a prolonged and" use word
and then change it for another, and consume
so much precious time that the listener be-
coming impatient, what they say is small COM
pensation for the time occupied.
Surrounded by bright spirits, all of whom
have something well worth the hearing, it is
insufferably annoying to be obliged to sit, out
wardly calm and respectful, and listen to
long-drawn sentences, the pith of whose
meaning could have been expressed in few
well-chosen words.
To exercise nice tact on the subject of con-
versation, to discard all desire to shine, wish
ing simply to give utterance to well-dIgested
Thoughts, and to listen with respectful alien
ton when others speak, is the secret good
companionship.
Some watchful sell-contro is necessary to
attain this end, but it is worth all it costs,
and lies within the scope of all.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
A Pretty Experiment.

very old but pretty, little chemical experi-
ment may be made by the young people, with
The result of amusing .and astonishing those
around them. The effects may be strikingly
shown in this manner: Cut three leaves of
the cabbage into small pieces and after plac-
ing them in basin, pour a pint of boiling
water over them, letting them stand an,hour,
then pour off the liquid into a decanter. II
will be OF Il fine blue color. Then take three
wineg asses-into one put six drops oi,strong
vinegar; into another six drops dissolution of
soda, and let the third glass remain empty
Fill up the glasses from the decanter, and the
liquid poured into the glass containing the
acid will quickly change to n beautiful red |;
that poured.with the soda will be aEfne'green,
and that poured into the empty glass will re-
main unchanged.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10

What mechanical affair--nay, what a
mean little orphan in the great family of
words is the too often heard monosyllable,
Thanks. Especially does it seem SO when
thought of in comparison with the pretty,
pleasing and proper expression, Thank you.
Thanks cannot be well spoken without sug-
costing the idea to the one addressed that the
speaker ISL conscious of an Occasion; to be
| thankful for, coupled with desire 10 be con-
sidered proper and that these are being
| strangled.by the belief that there is not time
enough on hand in which TO say appropriate
| ly, or else not culture enough in stock to
recognize .the fitness of thinks by being sim
ply, polite,
| purpose intended To be accomplished by its
use. 1t is hcaftless meaningless and harsh
| to IL sensitive listener, and rolls itself off the
| tongue rs il it was something to get rid of at
the earliest possible moment. Thank you,
is warm, considerable and polite. 1t would
be The colG-kind OF n stole indeed who could
give the words full expression without both
the SPEAKER and listener getting sight of a lit
| tie ray of sunshine that would otherwise have
escaped notice :, Properly expressed, they
soothe and satisfy both they who give and
those who receive, and both find a little well
| of gadness springing up in their hearts that
This abbreviated form of making recogni-
ton of favors received has only been in vogue
since the days of shoddy came upon us. 1t
not only smacks of shoddy, but it is shoddy
Northumberland shoddy.@' Each might well
be put down in dictionary parlanCe as the de-
finiliOu of the other. We hear it too often
where good breeding and refinement have OBJ
tanned u partial footing in minds and manners,
but such minds and manners are not improv-
ed by its recognition or use. AS shoddy,
which came to us among the flood tide ofevis
that suddenly acquired wealth brought to our
doors in war time, is becoming better under
stood and appreciated, it is not SO much at
home in many places as it made Itself when
first introduced. In fact, it is going out to sea
with u returning tide, slowly but surely, and
let us hope that Thanks may go on with
it to return no more forever.
If we have not time to say Thank you
when this small, sweet courtesy of domestic
life is appropriately due, we had best say
nothing at all. Silence is better than sound
that CRATES iarshly upon the ear of sense and
sentiment.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
Fear Does not Reason.

In fact, the feeling of fear can not be sub
dued. 1t is an irresistible emotion that de-
ponds upon our organization, and one which
all the most logical reasonings can not
change. Nothing is more true than the COM
mon saying that fear docs not reason, and it
is remarkable how little efficacy intelligence
and its efforts have to arrest its effect. l
know highly intelligent person with a
strong and clear mind, who believes he
would be lost if he had to go into boat
Yet the sea is smooth, the course is short and
the boat staunch. Excellent reasoning, but
it does not take hold of him. His emotion
is stronger than all the arguments you can
invent, however irreproachable they may be,
and no matter how fully the poltroon may
recognize their force. How many children
there are who do not dare TO cross in the
night the garden where they have played all
day, where they know there is no danger
and where they will not lose sight of the
lights in the house.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
Evil Thoughts.

Guard well thy thoughts; thy thoughts
are heard in heaven" In the thoughts COM
mence all actual sin. The suggestion of evil
may be from without; but it becomes actual
sin only when received and cherished by the
thoughts. Or the temptation may be from
without; but it is only "when lust hath con-
ceived it bringeth forth SIM" Ifthe inward
desire is resisted, and not cherished in the
thought, it docs not develop into actual sin.
The watchiulness that will quench evil de-
sire, and prevent evil Thoughts, is that which
keeps the eye on the Lord Jesus, and looks
to Him for strength and victory. Nature
within, and Satan and the world without, are
mighty enemies; but our Saviour is almighty,
and in His strength we are more than q
match for them
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
2oetiea1.
RECON- PENSE.

There is no day but has its share of light
And somewhere in the dark there shines n star
at night.
There is no cloud however black and grim,
That does not touch the sunlight with It's out
most rim.
There is no sorrow borne withoutts gain,
No perfect joy that was not ushered in with pain.
There is no woe that can outlast the years,
tears.
We learn to do without our own because
There is some recompense in all of natures
laws;
No sun can rise until the sun has SGT,
No life be lived that has not somewhere known
regret.
This thought, my FRIEND take with thee for the
days;
God were not God IL man could fathom all His
ways;
And as thy day goes down its western slope,
Know, next to faith, His greatest gift to thee is
hone,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
Five Thousand Mistakes in Webster.

This incident may not be known generally
to our readers, and we venture TO reprint it.
When the unabridged edition of Websler's
dictionary appeared without definition of
the word unabridged) a great scholar, Caleb
Gushing, wrote a criticism on the stupen-
dous work saying that, for its size, it had as
few errors as could be expected. This puz-
zled the editors, who asked for an explana-
ton of Mr. Cushng's information on the SUBJ
ject of those errors. In reply Mr. Cushing
marked 5000 mistakes in the volume which
had been presented to him and sent it back
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10

Summing up the figures we find that The
agricultural wealth of the country during a
decade of free iradc"-tha, is of low and I'M
protective tariif-increased 100 per cent.
During the first decade Of protection the in
crease was 80 per cent, and during the second
decade only o. If it be said that the csli-
mates for 1870 were too high, having been
made on currency basis, the answer is that
any error thereby accustomed is cured by
taking the two protection decades together.
So taken the figures show that free trade in
creased the agricultural wealth of the coun-
try 10l per cent. In ten years, while proiec-
ton only increased it 4S per cent in twenty.
Protection offers the farmer no proofs that
it benefits him. We offer him these that ii
does not Let him call protection to ac-
cuunt.-Detr0H Free Press
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
When She Was n Girl.

"Sallie," said good old grandmother toa
young girl who was busily engaged whiten-
ing her complexion and arranging her hair.
what is it, grandma2"
you girls think of nothing else but trying
to improve on nature"
ave are obliged to do that, grandma. We
are compelled TO do great deal of decorat-
ing nowadays, in order to present hand
some appearance"
eyes, my child, but when l was young
lady, us girls used to decorate our hearts as
well, and there wasn't an old maid in our
county but now the woods are full of them"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10

EQUAL TO THE OcoAsIoN.-As professor
was passing out of his recitation-room the
other day, freshman dropped syly into his
hat piece of paper on which was written the
word "Moukey." The smart freshman, tick
led with his joke, told it to oil his friends.
But at the next recitation, the professor,
speaking in his sweetest tones, said; "Gen-
tlemen, as was passing out of the room yes
terday, one ofyour number did me the very
high honor Of leaving with me his card"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-12-10
Bottled Dry Goods.

"My son" said good Vermont mother to
her son, who was home on visit, as she was
watching the unpacking of his trunk, what
have you got there"
"Nothng much, mother" replied the pro-
digal, except sundry and divers articles of
wearing apparel"
"You don't wear anything out of that big
bottle, I hopeP"
Eyes mother, that bottle contains night
caps" said the visitor" land wear them to
make my hair curl"
UOhpf
New-York tribune., 1886-05-30
LAWRENCE JAKoMh'S TOOrHACHE.


UaShin0ton letter 10 The Bosfon 7fGrel,cr
Congressman I'm Campbell, OF New YORK, is at the
front Al evening or two since he INFO
Chamherlins worry late, and !ound there tho congeal
group OF New Workers who make That hostciy ther
headquarters alor the theatres have closed Campbell
greeted the crowd with bis characteristic eusveness
ami sank into chair lie noticed TIA; the eentenen
escnt were not as hilarious as usual and he inquired
the reason Before his ques could be answered lie
saw Larry Jerome pacing up and down the grOan
IN. with uan and holding handkerchief Ip to his face.
csmg6s my M" Natter Gs aST STovsG S se %em
he continued raising his voice until II reached "A perfect
nave the worst case oi loothache had Ia my liie
Dnt Dnt itS gong away now. am app iyns novel remedy
ana W0uidh tahc tl0uSand dollars FOR the infofna
tinn. What Il ii on nothing nut a Tie Of coal
II is working lkc charm" Just then some one ca led
Jerome out into the hail. and lie leaving the room
cainpbe examined II closely. ana then the discussion
became quite general in relation 10 properties of
OF the party. remarked: say, tdmpbe here il "A good
chance to play practical joke on Larry. suppo,lng
its place. Hell never @now the difference. when ha
thinks his toot'nche has been cured wen sping 1t on
nn." fLe idea seemed 10 strike thc cOmpJny iayoraby
W.. nrncpfeI ana thc New York Ces% ,or sn'U % stonS
it up carefully in the handkerchief lie laughed min ID
eralcY as he performed the operation, ami gleoiuy
cOnided TO his friends that he owed Jerome score
and that this would give him chance TO get
few moments later jerome re-cntered the room.
His toOthachc rapidly getting worse and be went
TO The table and picked up tho handkerchief and ciarsd
down The room After little While he began To- grow
camer, and said tnat tho pain was much easier.
% his feet, he exclaimed: Now, gentlemen, don't
know whether there is any virtue In coal for
tOOthnche not but 10 know that Larry curing
with imaginatiOD" What do you mean r. Indignantly
inquired Jerome. simply this responded
Campbell, that lump IN your hanGxerchs isn't
ALL It's only a lit OF stone" Don't suppose |
suow the feeling OF coal when have tho loothachel'
howlel jerome. Nobody can cheat me. I wOnld bet
my life that u is coal" Now, Larry" said Campbell,
IN tone intended TO be conca.0ry and casually wink
ing at the Remainder OF the crowd, perhaps you do.
but am willing To bet you basket OF champagne that
you have piece OF stone In tnat handkerchief" The
crowd got up and stood around Tia" two CamI bell
began 10 rub his hands aud laugh. jerome said: Tin,
III have 10 take thai bet Then De calmly unfoicd tho
handkerchief and sure enough he drew out piece OF
coal and won the wager. Ho had syy substituted the
coal Tor Canpbells piece OF stone. Campbels face
study. Then II dawned npon him that he had been
made the victim OF a clever sell lie ordered the cham
pagno amid great deal Of enthusiasm. aud swore
everybody present to secrecy Campbell wants revenge
and wants II QuicR.
New-York tribune., 1886-05-30

ber ,deus from the platform the other side OF the
building ami the audience had begun 10 dsperss, , y,
N IA certainly diicut 10 imagine greater variety o.
costme than that presented by tho Royal sronp OF 'nS
d.is ~ the Albert Hall The Queen the DuhesS o Ieca
aoI her daughter worc black the young triIccsses Oh
Wales were dressed with Puritan simplicity - dars say
c,"hmere: tho Princess OF Wales wore abeauiitnily
made dress OF striped velvet shaded from dark blue 70
light with pas,ron OF pale blue snrah fastened aown M
with m Ia STRAPS OF velvet the 'front.' ana aiK-
hlue bonnet With large aigrete OF pale blue eathes
am sorry notice shc still locke FAR fror strong my
Crpwn Princess of GernaLy wore the planest lossple
-cOored gown. aid the Princess Louis OF Baten-
berg whom she appeared TO be chaperonirg was naru
mora extensively dressed In mauve; but the PfiLcess
Christian apparently the worse for heI recent
Illness RESP endent in ruby velvet ana me Ducncs
of Ednburqh were q handsome black velvet manto
over dress OF Indian embroidery. The Duchess OF Con-
naugh and the Prnc'ss Louise noh anoceu nnd III. %
Princess Henry OF BatteuOerg ssed in brown ana
gold This display. coupled with the uniforms oi the
Princes and officials helped to supply that warm,n OK
color which wholly wanting before tie arrival OF the
New-York tribune., 1886-05-30
and finally succumbed from general debility caused by


starvation.
we'll organized movement has been started to bald
home for the newsb0ys o. this city The idea s not Only
TO furnish board lodging 10 tho youngsers bu also
10 give them schoOling There seems to 10 no douht
that the homo will be in operation In the near future
There has becn considerable Excitement this week
among tho workngmon OF this city engaged IN harding
cotton caused by the applicati or the COTTON frcsS
Association for membership In tho Cotton Mems Council
The Cotton Press Association composed OF owners or
lcsscrs OF cotton presses who tho employers or
majority OF the men PRESENTED in the Cotton Mems
coiuc which il a body composed OF delegates IRON inc
dioersnt associations OF workingmen engaged In
handling tho staple. There has been much speculation
as To- the object of the press owners In seeking admission
10 the Council and much difference OF opinion ancns tho
workingmep on the question OF admitting them put at
meeting OF the Council Thursday night 1t was decided
to receive them and all Interested parties ana the
public generally waiting with considerable Interest
TO see what the press owners will attempt TO make u
their memDerJhip. IN. ,
There has been big boom In State securities AMI
indeed in local securities OF all kinds thls week Inc
In State and city bonds Is attrOutei 10 tDe
facts crop prospects good that there mas been
larger percentage OF taxes collected tho past TWO years
than before that the or property IN tue
cities and the parishes Il than usually uniform anu
equitable and that fears entertained OF the ees
laure In sessi0n doing anything to depreclate tle
obligations of tho State or city.