Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-04
BRIGHT BITS.

WARKwoRK, ONT, minister prayed one
recent sunday morning as follows: Lord
bless our servant girls who are detained from
joining in the worship of Thee by the sleep
ing of their masters and mlstresses. '-ED-
change. q.
The eouipal in SOME 7ouarters about
hard times and the exoThitant prices charged
for the Eecessaries Of life ia all nonsense.
Ihere are striking exceptions. patent
medicine man advertises 100 doses for one
d0llar."-AorristO2DR Herald.
At the seaside-"HaYe you bathed yet this
summer 2"
Yes, I've bathed several times out at Coney
IslsnS."
"Flad the water ? why, you can't miss 1t,
It's all around the island ~ Texas Sittin0s.
WANT to be barkeeper, Ell? ?"
"Yes. SIR"
"DO yon understand keeping books on the
sing entry system ~
mo, sir. but understand keeping Sunday
on the double entry system"
very wei. Hang up your hat."-PhiIa-
detDHta Cal.
LEoNARD-why are you SO gloomy, old
Ffnkips-My wife hasn't been home in four
days. Gone to her mothers.
Leonard--Wen my dear fellow, cheer VI;
sheel come hackin little while.
ElnElns-1e s, that's what makes me so mel
ancholy.-Jnd1e.
BALI RtAYERs are discoutented lot"
~ dDn,t think 30. They seem to be very
contented." ~
80, no! they are continually going out on
strikesGn
nestle Affection. They are always running
for homo. "-Neao FOR K sun.
YOUNG LADY Ito prnkey)-Can take these
flowers In. to the prisoners, sirf,
Tnrpkeyr-Yes. mum; the thieves IAN pick
pockets will be glad to get EN-. They does
a. hax II fnst -.
now, mem. The last one was pardoned out
yesterday.
Young Lady-Oh, Pm SO sorrv.-Neu York
Times.
| A PARTY visiting Orr's Island last week
| came Upon an elderly citizen. who, they found,
| als ays lived upon the island and " as familiar
| With It's history. They asked If Mrs. Stoves
| account of the inhabitants and their doing
wss accurate. wall, SAID he, ''she got one
! thing right"
What was that2"
The name Of the nd."-Portyand tMs.)
| Transcript.
SCHOLASTIC INTELLIGENCE" Johnny. your
| teacher gives you very poor certificate again
this week." remarked Col. FizzletOp 10 his
son.
Yes pa. if you don't haul him over the
caals ne Will keep going from bad TO worse.
| 1t Is no use fer me to talk to him. 1t goes In
| one ear and out the other" replied Johnny,
| Who is abreast of the times in precocity -
| TeOas SiTttn0s
| NOT Steak for Joan-Cross husband, sit
| ting down TO a late breakfast-WIfe, have you
| eve- heard of Joan Of Arc
| Wife-Yes, indeed.
Illus and--She was burned at the stake.
| wasn't she2
! Wife-That is what history says.
Husband-W this steak wouldn't scorch
| her any, It's as cold as d wedge - Terds Sfft-
| Sags. -------.-.---..-
| CHICAGO ANARcHIsr--No, sir. You have no
| idea how many Americans object to that YER.
dict. We called q meeting of the Chicago
| Pilgrim Father Club 10 protest sgaiuet it in
the name OF George Washington, the Goddess
| of Liberty. and thbCor tinenbal Congress-, ana
| If 1t had not beeh for an accident the whole
membership would have been present.
Omaha Nan-Hew NJ any came?
| 'Teey oopl tn't any of them come"
| why, what was the m$tterT
| wen, You see, the naturalization courts
| opened that day and they were all busy get
ting ont their papers, Omaha World.
| THE Correct thing in Monograms.-''what
| Sadie@'
| That is my monogram"
| "W bat is monogram"
| why, the initials Of your name changed SO
that the letters overlap each other"
"Oh see! But these are not the initials of
Your name"
| Eyes, they are"
''Well, / cart make 'em out"
| Certainly not. That's the beauty of it, II
you could make 'em out, it wouldn't be a
monogram worth having. "-Boston Courier,