Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1886-10-21
ABOUT PORTLAND.
A View of the Maine City Through
Boston Spectacles.
[Special Correspondence.l

Especial SOfIesOouutuCc.1
Boston, Oct. Ill have been to Port
land Portland Is well up in the universe, is
built on a hill which is almost an island, has
plenty of water and islands around it, and a
prohibitory law which forces every honest
saloonkeeper to relegate the sale of his in
toxicating compounds to the delicate privacy
of a back room. The city is beautifully
drained. Thanks to Nature, and little praise
to man, the streets are clean. The women
who do not wear spcctacles are beautiful, and
there is a city liquor agency where just and
reputable men who know how to make a
proper and righteous use of whisky can be
supplied by the pint, quart or gallon.
The Oldest cemetery i'll Portland contains
the bones of Commodore Preble and several
other marine heroes. and in the city are the
remains of a submarine, blue-blooded aris-
tocracy, which looks Down on that of Boston.
There are no saloon signs to be seen in Portland
except live ones. The Portland saloon stations
a red, dubious nose. with "A man attached, out
side. If you, as a stranger, ask him where on
earth you can buy a glass of beer, he will
jerk his thumb significantly over his shoulder,
and say i'll English: go within, and don't
stop at the first back door you meet, but force
it open, and be then guided by the inner
light" You will do so, and on facing the
rear door see a bar, lined three deep outside,
and from one to two perspiring barkeepers in
| side, loading and firing at will, while the rum
| and the cash cross each other over the counter
in a constant succession of parabolas. Il is
an inspiriting sight, and shows what a per-
sistent temperance agitation can do toward
keeping up appearances inside and out.
Viewed from a distance and Portland would
readily pass for a total abstinence town.
| Viewed microscopically and interiorally, it
dilutes its water in secret with more potent
fluids.
II after the first drink you want another,
all you need to do is to enter any other door
where you see a plug Of tobacco displayed in
the window.
Portland is protected outside from for
eign invasion by two strong forts, which
are very useful to fire Fourth Of July
salutes from, and serve also as places for fat
tening United States officers and privates.
The town was invaded from the rear many
years ago by various tribes of foreigners and
several of its most important industries cap
tured, notably the retail sale of beer. The
present Portlander dates almost everything
back to the great fire, some twenty years ago.
What he doesn't date back to the fire he does
to the rise in taxes caused by the city's voting
a few millions to the Portland and Ogdens-
burg railroad. Longfellow came pretty near
neing born in Portland, and the house his
parents lived in is pointed out with justifable
pride. They were just as good people as
Longfellow anyway, and might perhaps have
written poetry had they known it would have
been saleable.
Portland is a city Of considerable American
antiquity. As @ settlement or town with a
charter, it is not as old as the deluge. AS a
location it is possibly much older. AT one end
Of the city is a bed Of fossil mussels, over
which biologists have made several very pro-
found guesses as to how they came there. AT
the other end of the town are sundry fossils
which are not mussek.
PRENTICE: MILFORD.