davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
mech. which he with one fell stroke might

One neck, which he with one fell stroke might
pierce,
Nh NY wish q quite as vide, but not rs bad;
10 Kiss IL ON oil ut once from north to SOUTH
Byron certainly lived before his time-he
you'd have made such a dear, DELIGHTFUL
~Latter-Day Saint"
We do not recall any exact quotation, but
there has been a great deal of nonsense
written about lips so bedaubed with nectar
that bees would leave the dewy rose TO sip
their sweets. If there ever was such an
idiotic bee it must have been a long time
ago-none are ever discovered at that
business nowadays. Men differ from bees
in that respect.
A kiss is all unfailing barometer. The
initiated can tell "the signs of the tines
invariably. 1t is q sure indication of q cold
wave IT the young lady's best beau tells her
her kisses are ever SO much sweeter than
the girls across the way.
There Is sure to be q storm if the Young
woman's father clutches him in the act.
There will be heavy clouds in the skv il,
when he is just about to kiss her, he stops
short and asks her shows her mother5"
III rule is just as sure when the girl has
been eating onions.
If he puts his arms around her like q
bear and almost smothers her when he
kisses her, they are not married. If he
comes up with his hands in his pockets and
gives her a tasteless smack, the probabili.
ties are that they are.
After all, what would a girl be without
lips? She might be blind, and yet be beau.
full. She might be bald, and vet wear some
other woman's hair. But if she had no lips
life would be a desert drear.
All, it is woman's lips that try men,
souls!-Annie T.. Myers, IN Chicag,
LedgeY,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
the Archduke Rudolph in 1878. rhe

the Archduke Rudolph in 1878. rhe
future Emperor of Austria lives at
Lacroma in the greatest simplicity.
When Macmillan bought the isle the
only available residence on it was an
old monastery which had been going to
ruin for half a century; and in this
building the Crown Prince and Princess
live their simple lives. There are but
three good rooms in the house-the
drawing-room, the ancient refectory,
used as a salon de musique, and the
dining-room. The imperial bedcham-
bers are of very meager dimensions,
while the long titled dukes and
duchesses Of the suite have to be con-
tent with the cells of the vanished
monks. The plain whitewashed walls
match the rough serviceable furniture.
The monastery is said to have been built
by the citizens of Ragusa as q thank
offering for the stoppage of a great
fire. At the beginning Of the present
century it was practically destroyed by
an earthquake, and has never been
thoroughly restored.-Lomdon Life.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
A Defective Education.

"This edication they fill boys up
with now days don't seem ter mount
ter much fer ordinary use," said a Da-
kota settler.
What makes you think 500" asked
a friend.
"Why, there's that boy Nv mine
sent him way ter school fer pretty nigh
two years and he amt capabl ny taking
right holt NV ev'ry day business yet"
What has he failed in?"
"Well, pretty important PINT now, I
tell you. When he come back I gave
him a midd'lin' good boss and told him
ter see what he could make out NV it,
and I'll be hanged eff he didn't trade a
couple NV times and come home here
with an old plug Nv a boss that wus a
colt bout thirty-five years ago. He
couldn't tell nothin' by lookin' at its
teeth, you see. I'll be busted eff I don't
blieve you could shove q boss onto that
boy with false teeth fixed up by one Nv
these ere dentist sharks! "-Estelime
Roll
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
An ImDeria' Island,

The Grown Prince Rudolph of Aus
tria, in addition to many other desirable
pomps and vanities, has an island OF
his own-Lacroma, in the Adriatic, OPP
posite Ragusa: and there, in the midst
Of lovely scenery, surrounded by a
transparent sea, lie is convalescing after
a recent indisposition. The isle, three
days steam from Trieste, is as beauti-
full as Monaco, and quite out of the
world; for while the owner is in resi-
dence no one is allowed to land with
out a special permit. Lacroma formerly
belonged to that most unfortunate Of
monarchs, Macmillan of Mexico, who
was much attached to it and wrote sew
eral little poems in praise Of its charms.
After his terrible end the island was
possessed by a succession of ordinary
people. by M of whom it was cold to
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
Popularity of Horseback Riding.

Equestrianism holds its popularity
with fashionable men and women.
Central Park has twenty-eight miles of
bride paths, devoted exclusively to
horseback riders, and the routes lead
through deep valleys, over consider
able hills, and between the secluding
walls Of numerous arbors and tunnels.
so that nowhere in the world can the
sport be enjoyed more fully. The
forenoon is the favorite time for it, and
in n day, recently, the persons who
entered counted up to 5000. More
than a third were girls. Polite usage
now permits them to walk through the
streets in their saddle costumes, and
they are a morning oddity to stran-
gers eyes in the neighborhood of
the park. The high silk hats set jaunt-
lily on snugly braided t~resses, the black
or dark brown cloth suits fitted closely
to shapely forms, and the bottoms Of
the trousers-which are invariably a
part of the outft-just showing over
feminine feet as the skirts are held
clear Of the sidewalk, serve to embel-
lish any except o positively ugly girl,
SO that she becomes q positively strik-
| "S hSoASs LILO uOA1oo 1A4CCUy db W
dress is INDUCED in by the %eauestri-
ennes. In n of the numerous stables
close by the park where saddle horses
are boarded, 1 saw a Frenchman ar
ranging the draperies of a girl who
sat on the back Of her horse ready for
a gallop. recognized him as a man
d~ressmaker from one of the fashionable
establishments, and being acquainted
with her / said:
"Ah, you were late with your ward
robe, ell? Had to have it touched up
at the last moment"
You're wrong, as usual" she re-
piled. "This is q habit that I've worn
all the spring. But I have changed
horses. I was riding a t%rotter, and the
skirt was hung to suit that gait. Now
I'm mounted on o loper, and that re-
CURES a totally different draping."
20, yes, saire," added the French
man; "ze skirt moost be arrange wiz
artistic reference to re gait of re horse.
Eat is re branch of re business Eat
keeps me busv."-New York Truth.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
A Quarter Of Mutton.

Extract from a letter to the Cover.
nor of Arkansas:
II send you by John Cobbletree, one
of my neighbors, o quarter of mutton
and a mess of young squirrels. 1 do
this just because I like the course you
have always took. I killed the SPUR
rels yistidy, an I know they air fresh.
Thar amt nothin' nicer than young
squirrels. I eat 'em sometimes till i
am fit to pop. Now let me say some
thing about the mutton. It is fresh
an fat, an I hope you will enjoy it.
One of my neighbors lost u sheep the
other day, an he has accused me of
stealin' it. He has had me arrested,
an l am nov in Jail. He came to my
house, an grabbed holt of a sheep that
I had jest killed, but I managed to
keep enough to send to you. I am
mighty fond of sheep meat, an when I
am right longry 1 ken eat it till l am
fit to pop. My trial will come on in a
day or two, an the way things are
shapin' I am afeerd they will put it 10
me jes fur a joke. These folks out
here air the prankinist set of people 1
ever seen. They air allus happy when
they kin git q joke IN a prominent man
like me. I wouldn't be surprised if
they carry the joke SO far as to want to
send me to the pe%nitentiary. This
would hurt my chances for the Legis-
lature. I don't want to be beat. but if
they keep me shut up very long the
other Teller will git ahead of me. At
ter you eat your mutton I visit you
would write a note to the Sheriff. an
tell him to let me out. Say, I forgot
to tell you that the gram Jury has been
let into the joke, an that they have
brought in q joke of an indictment
agin' me. They may try me, an pass
the joke of o sentence on me before
your note gifts here, SO I wish you
would write out q pardon after you eat
your mutton, an tell the Judge that I
am free. I know the joke will tickle
you, and you may make the pardon
just as amusin' as You please.-Arkam-
sam T~TnCe{eT.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
Climatic ParadOXes.

European writer's are constantly
mystitied by the climatic anomalies Of
the North American Continent. M.
Hippolyte Taine, the French Macaulay,
once contrasted the misery OF q Paris
slum alley drudge with the happiness
of an American farmer grazing his
herds in the palm-groves shading the
banks of the Ohio. Now a German
enthusiast extols Milwaukee as that
"beauteous lake city in the latitude of
Venice" suggesting orange gardens
and Venetian nights. 1t must puzzle
such eulogists to account for the thou
sands of Scand;navians who seem to
feel at home on the prairies of that
blest bummerland.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
De0l Souls.

An old physician remarked lately:
"There is no study in human nature SO
difficult to me as o certain class OF
young girls. I spent a part of this
summer with two specimens of this
class. They had the usual amount Of
capacity for observing, and understand.
ing, and feeling. They had been edu,
Gated at much cost to their parents;
both were constant attendants nj
church.
Il saw nothing in their faces, man.
ners, OF bearing to argue that they
were imbecile. Their mother was an
invalid, nearing the grave. Nothing
could be more touching than the pa
tient, appealing gaze with which her
eyes followed them, watching for some
signal of affection. But they had eyes
and thought for nothing but a gown
they were making. They were used to
her love, her illness, even to the thought
of her death.
Il walked out with them through
a great forest, under the solemn stars.
They saw no beauty, no sublimity in
them. They chartered necessarily of
the new trimming of their bonnets.
They were used to the meaning of the
trees and stars. The only thing ap-
parently to which they we're not used
we're the changes in ribbons, puffs, and
fiounces.
II went to church with them. and
listened to the great sTe Deum' which
has come down to us through many
ages, and filed the hearts of countless
worshipers of God. They nudged
each other while they sang it to look at
a beaded cloak in the next pew.
"We physicians now test the temper.
allure of a patients body, and if we find
it below a certain degree, know that
death is already in the heart. When !
find SO low a degree of temperature in
the words, actions, and thoughts of a
human body, I begin to fear that the
soul within is cold and dead beyond re-
CALL"
Old John Bunyan taught us the same
lesson in his picture of the man with
the muck-rake, who necessarily scraped
together the foul, perishable stuff, and
kept his eye bent or it, while the great
world opened around him, and the
wind blew, and the sun shone, and God
waited for him behind them all.
DO we, too, use this rake, and what
is it that we gather?-- Youths Compans-
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
A Secret Worth Knowing.

An able writer gives utter nee to this
valuable secret: "This looking for
ward to enjoyment doesn't pay. From
what L know Of it, 1 would as soon
chase butterflies for a living, or bottle
moonshine for q cloudy night. The
way to be happy is to take the drops of
happiness as God gives them to us
every day of our lives. The boy must
learn to be happy while he is learning
his trade; the merchant while he is
making his fortune. If he fails to learn
this art, he will be sure to miss his en-
joyment when he gains what he has
sighed for"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
What His Sister Said.

He was waiting in the parlor for the
young lady to come down, and was inn
prov ng his time talking to her little
brother.
II say, Jawnie," he drawled, "did
you, aw, tell yoah sistah that it was al
most time faw the opewa?"
eyes, 1 did, replied Johnnie.
"Did you tell her l was, aw, waiting
faw her?"
"Yes, I did," replied Johnnie.
"Awnd what did she say, don't you
know"
"She said: tRats!'"
She came in too late to hear the con-
versation, and wondered all the evening
what made Mr.. DE Limbs so crusty.-
Washington Critic.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
Too Late for Jacob to Begin.

At a funeral in North Carolina the
coffin arrived at the grave just as the
sexton had finished inspecting some of
the dirt thrown up and discovered indi-
cations OF gold. A hurried consulta-
ton was held with the widow of the
deceased, and she was asked whether
she would go ahead and work the claim
or fill up the hole onthe old man.
II guess we'll take the coffin over to
the barn and leave him there for a few
days." she replied. "If there's gold
here I want it, and if there isn't any,
why, he won't be no wuss off. Jacob
never was no hand to kick, anyhow,
and it's too late for him to begin now"
-TVaW Street NeWs.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
Lips.
LIPS.
Inns We're made for smiles and kisses,


Lips were made for smiles and kisses.
Birds cannot smile, flowers cannot kiss,
nothing Oh the earth can smile and kiss but
man. A smile is the color love wears, q
kiss is q demonstrative expression of affec-
ton. A smile is the light in the window of
the face, a kiss is the swapping of loves
fire in the heart.
Asmile has come to be in these degen-
crate days often a meaningless thing; a
kiss, through the custom of its indiscrim-
mate use, is frequently but little more.
This vulgarization Of the kiss is q prof
a%nation. It should be one of the hottest
demonstrations Of the soul, butamong some
people-not all-and especially between
bubbling over, demonstrative femininity, a
kiss pops a good-morning, whizzes o good
evening, sputters here and fizzles there, I'M
til a sensitive refinement causes us to set
our teeth, brace our lips, and abide the
shock as best We can. -
Indeed. it has come to such q pass that
ever Miss Prim is obliged to look sharply
spirited away on some graceless mustache.
All of which is high-handed sacrilege,
and we herewith enter our protest and leave
the further discussion of it's %propriety TO
the sages.
In seeking more light upon this tantaliz-
ing subject, we are convinced we cannot do
better than consult the poets. 1t would
seem from the exuberant fashion in which
they gush over intoxicating kisses" "dewy
lips, aud "heaven-born smiles" that they
have doomed the market and made o corner
in the commodity.
The bards, SO far as we have been able
to find, have neglected to sing of masculine
smiles and kisses. What, however, is more
soul inspiring han q mans smile, not to
mention a mans kiss?
The faint tiutter of the mustached corners
of his mouth, the gentle parting Of the full
lips, and then the round, hearty laugh, ac-
co%mpanied by the sly twinkle of the bright
eye.
That is one kind of q masculine smile.
There is yet another, q description of
which we will have to omit-he generally
goes out between acts to indulge in it.
When you come to investigate a mascu-
line kiss you will find that, strictly speak
ing, there is no such thing in nature-lt is
always q mixed matter.
But to return to the poets. 1t was Shak-
speare who told us what a woman's lip was
for. He says:
"Teach not thy lip such scorn for it was made
For kissing, lady, not for such contempt"
Commenting upon this quotaton, hoI
long since, a gentleman presumably we'll
up in the science remarked that, Judging
from these words. Shakespeare was in the
habit of kissing only one lip OF his sweet
heart, and if that were SO ne had lost
half the delights of the operation. When
any kissing was done it should be spread
ali over the mouth. Perhaps some mex
perienced youth may profit by this hint;
If old Shakespeare was prigglsh III hlsldeas
of kissing, il would seem byron was pos,
sessed of the opposite Qualities expressed
by the same word, with the letter Il omltleo
.piggish. In speaking OF lovely woman'
he says:
The ty-aat's wish that IL mankind but had
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
A Vermont BRIDEGROOM.

The story about the Vermonter who
proposed to add half o dollar to the
amount which the claw allowed" the
parson for marrying him, has brought
TO the historian a brand-new story OF
another wedding-fee transaction n Yer
mont. 1t is from a glen village away
back from the Connecticut, in the hills,
where money is scarce and the ways are
primitive, and the people frequently
prefer to pay for their purchases in
kind. One day a young couple came
10 the parson at the village to be mar
red. They hadn't a cent of money,
and it had been arranged that the
bridegroom should bring a specified
quantity of beeswax, with which to pay
the minister. The parson was thrifty
they have to be thrifty up that way
and took good care, before he perform
ed the ceremony, to weigh out the bees
wax and see whether there was enough
to pay h fee. There wasn't.
"Why haven't you brought all the
beeswax you agreed to-" asked the
mini ter.
GAIL l had, Parson."
"And you haven't got any more?"
"Not another ounce"
"Have you got any money at ALP"
"Not a mite, Purson."
There was a period of uncomfortable
silence, during which the young farmer
began to grow very much alarmed. He
was afraid the parson wouldn't marry
him unless he produced hs uttermost
ounce of beeswax, and the prospect
struck terror to his soul. The parson
was inclined to let him "stew."
"Look a. here, Parson!" said the
c%ountryman, finally; II tell We what ye
do; you take the beeswax and marry
us as fur as It goes!"- Boston Record.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
NV gALKY MUSE.
ny VIM. EAueHToN.

.-aso. in summer time,
ta slt"- mise and sought to climb
tnlI, and then, with careless ease
etHlh51nd lass, go as you please
i' AID ,G where you will
,.,ber heights I longed to try
h. nv the stars, to float and fly
9e ao,, ana your MD I sought,
tnae SV Won nre, you good-for-naught,
won won't go on!
,,,be, a merry laugh, and then
MI me to II quiet glen
",,nonsst the trees.
:Nnier where the hawthorn blows,
io;sv and the mountain rose
e" IL sing of these.
o,.s 1,sed to ioftier flight
tsl.e .he realms beyond our sight,
~ =, strains sublime.
-, IL h,,n,, the haunted leafy dell,
a.aie where love delights to dwell,
In humber rhyme"
lid rose blushed n roster red,
saeeter balm and bloom were shed
from thorn and tree.
lev turned it's modest face.
.m,iied with such enchanting grace
Il yanauished me.
aver since that summer day,
.lre'er bv tlowery vale l stray,
= meadow sweet,
.hrob of natures heart, I hear,
o,boaS soft and clear
| Tuil at my feet.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
Well Applied.

Wife-"Whatis a chestnut, m ydear?"
Husband-"A chestnut, love, is a sto-
ry that has been told yer and over
again. Why?" Wife-"Nothing. Only
it's funny that you should bring a.
chestnut with you every time you como
home late at night."-LoWeU Cit: en-.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
To Prevent Break.Downs.

Hundreds of Americans are break
ing down under high-pressure applica-
ton to the duties Of the desk in the
very prime of their lives, who would
live to a green old age if they would
display a little common sense in the
matter Of physical exercise.-PAsla-
delphia Times.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13

A FABLE: An estimable old ground
hog, wishing to ascertain the opinions
of the neighbors about himself, had a
bogus congestive chill, and falling on
the ground, pretended to be dead. He
was buried on the following day, but
scratched his way out of the grave and
went in disguise to hear his own funer-
al sermon preached. The discourse
was so complimentary that the ground
hog was pulled up with vanity, and
having bought a cane and an eye-glass,
he became a dude. Moral-This fable
teaches the dangers of fattery.-LUe.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13

HE-"And now, Sarah, what kind of
an engagement ring shall I get you?"
She-"solid gold, 1 guess, Henry. Pm
SO tired of wearing imitation gold for
engagements"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13

KEEP thyself at a distance from
those who are incorrigibe in bad hab-
its; and hold no intercourse with that
man who is insensible of kindness.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13
A Rare Find.

The brick clay deposits of Hahn
stadt, Germany, have been found by
DIR. Strohecker to be singularly rich in
several metals hitherto very scarce,
particularly cerium, glucinum, lantha-
num-, didymium, and yttrium. The
first two Of these metals seem to be in
sufficient abundance to materially in.
crease the worlds supply.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13

TRUTH requires plain words; she re-
iects all antiquities and reseryea.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13

BE always suspicious of a man wha
is too polite; we~ll-cleaned tripe requires
70 milk to whiten it.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-08-13

Y CAPTAIN JAMES MoNTFoRD.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1886-08-19
An Accommodating Judge.

There is in Idaho Territory a judge
who is we'll known as "Alec Smith," A
woman brought suit in his court for di-
vorce, and had the discernment to select
a particular friend of her own, who
stood well with the Judge, as her attor-
ney. One morning the Judge called up
the case, and addressing himself to the
attorney for the complainant, said.
'Mr. H., don't think people ought to
be compelled to live together where they
don't want to, and will decree a d.
vorce in this case" Mr.. H. bowed
blandly. Thereupon the Judge, turn
ing to another attorney, whom he took
to be the counsel for the defendant said:
''Mr. NJ, suppose you have no OBJ
lection to the decreep" Mr. NJ nodded
assent But the attorney for the de-
fendant was another Mr.. NJ, not then
in court. Presently he came in, and,
finding that his client had been divorced
without hearing, began to remon-
strate. Alec listened u moment, then
interrupted, saying: MIR. NJ, it is too
late. The court has pronounced the de-
cree of divorce. and the parties are no
longer man and wife. But if you want
to argue the case right bad, the court
can marry them over again and give
you crack at il. ."-Terds SJttags.