The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-12-17
IN THE LIONS DEN,

Old Bob Tells . Neat Little story and b
Imprisoned ON Strength oft.
"Dar oughter be some law IN dis heah
country agin blowin' homes folks up
wild powder an all dat sorter foolish
ness, " said old Bob, who, hobbling on
crutches, entered the Office of the chief
of police, and addressed that officer.
.What's the mattere" the chief
asked.
Ivy sab. somebody dun bowed me
up wild powder"
"Where were you at the timee"
'.In my own house. sab; ez peaceable
ez er man could be-"
Had you been engaged in . quarrel
with any one2'
mo, sab; not er tall"
ION good terms with your neigh
bors?''
'.Best in de worr."
'How were you blown up?"
"W'y, sab, ez l tells yer, wuz Asset
tin at home jes' ez peaceable ez er man
could-bless yer soul wuz er readin'
my Bible at de time-when all o: er sud-
denment, dar come de blamdest 'splO-
zion eber heard"
I'VE must look into this matter?"
said the chief.
"Yas, hope yer will, sab. De fust
thing l knOwed. bur-lur BIN! an den
de stove do flew off an come mighty
nigh breakin' bof my laigs. De stove
an it cos me two dollars an sebenty-fi'
cents-wuZ bowed all ter pieces, an
some sweet pertaters dat had er roast
in in dar-huh. scraped one O. 'em oil
de ice wild or case knife, an amt seed
de udder ones yit.
'.You say that your stove exploded?"
"Yas, sah."
''How do YOU account for it?"
'Doan know. sab. Wuz er settin' dar
or readin' my Bible an"
sYes. | understand all that, but how
do you suppose any one could have put
powder in your stove without attracting
your attent on"
..Da couldn't done it, sab, an dat's
whit posters me. l tuck all de ashes
outen de stove an SWEEP it out clean"
sCould any one have thrown powder
down the chimney"
Saint got no chimly. StOve-pipe
goes OUT ue sue u uc HOUSE,.
just then well-known citizen en-
tered. '.Chief." he said, ''the negroes
out my way are stealing my wood. [
spoke to policeman about it, but he
said that he couldn't do any thing, so l
took the matter into my own hands. 1
bored hole in a stick of wood and
loaded it with powder. That night, so
l have been told, terrific explosion
took place. / don't know whether any
one has been killed. Thought Id drop
in and tell you that if you hear unusual
no SEES out my way not to be alarmed"
When the citizen had gone, the chief,
turning to Bob asked:
doesn't that statement explain the
cause of the explosion which occurred
at your house,"
'.Look heah, boss; wuz in faber o
yersef when yer wuz er canerdate fur
dis office"
THAT is all right Where did you
get your wood the other night?"
..HuhP''
The chief repeated the question.
'.Whar git de wood?"
Eyes"
''Bought it."
"All of it?''
'.Huh?"
The chief repeated the question.
'.Lemme see. Oh, yes, l found er
chunk in de street"
care you sure it was in the street,"
"Cose is. Knows de street when l
sees it, l reckon"
"Jim.' sad the chief,' calling a
policeman, '.take charge of this man."
"Whut fur?" exclaimed old Bob.
"For stealing wood"
"Dar, now: dar now; Use got it.
Neber seed sch or fool ez l is. Come
right inter de lions den an gin myself
up. Thought wuz gwine ter git some
money frum de city. Take me on or
way. an blame eff keers eff yer filings
me in de riber. "-ArkansaU TrGreler.