The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-05-20
THE MERRY SIDE I


The Indian Question-"where kin me steal
um hoss?"
Herr Most has been placed in jail. A Most
righteous thing!
The elements certainly had a laundering time
The Democratic Senators proved themselves
as true as steal.
Motto for the Democratic side of the Senate:
"Mene, Meme, Tekel Upharsin."
*aH
A woman's will may cause trouble sometimes,
but mans swill will cause more of it.
-
If we were Democrat we would stick to it
until we died-that reform is Necessaryp'
The man who fiatters you is, after all, sincere
in his motive-he wants you to flatter him.
ga rolling stone gathers no moss" and a
lively Sergeant-at-Arms gathers no moss backs.
-
A Boston Physician jumped into the sea and
killed himself. He was obeying the Golden
Rule
An exchange speaks of the runaway Sena-
tors ''lost lambs" That is perhaps because
they We're shorn.
We might help the sparrow business some.
and have lots of fun, by importing few train
ed hawks.
If the English sparows increase much more,
we'd like to hire good stout man to file saw
by the day.
Three hundred bakers in Pittsburgh are on
strike. 1t is perfectly natural for baker to
want fraise."
One of the problems of this Christian age is
how to propel a lawn-mower without cussing
the dandelions.
The Republicans will have nothing to DO next
fall but go to the funeral. The Democrats have
arranged for the copse.
"There's something lacking among our Rep
resentatives at Columbus" says the Democrat.
OF course It's brains.
"The race is to the swift" sang the Demo-
cratic Senators. But the meat was for those
who staid at home.
Life is all childhood-men are rocked In the
cradle, jostled upon the knee, and ignominious-
ly hustled for all time.
"Be sure you're right, then go ahead !" has
been modified by the Democracy into "be sure
you're wrong then run!'
allow much do you want to pay ?" said the
creditor. But the debtor looked at him in
blank astonishment.
The Kentucky House appropriated five thous-
and dollars to hire men to lie. They are to es-
tablish weather bereau.
-
Some Democrats talk of the run-aways organ
n
dy kick the Rump.
"That boy ought to have medical attendance"
said Jackson man, "there's something wrong.
He's been quiet for full fifteen minutes
-<s
There were some brains removed from the
Senatorial seats, when the Senators ran away
but few were carried away in hats.
When the Democratic Senators ran into a
hole, they made a fatal mistake. They didn't
pull the hole in after them.
80
While the Democratic Senators were enjoy
ing themselves in the South, the Ohio Senate
was quietly fixing bent pins in their chairs.
Men delight to be humbugged-it's one Of the
human fraflties. That's the reason SO many
men have good opinion of themselves.
-.
While the Democratic Senators were on the
Lookout, at Chattanooga, Bob Kennedy was
working on the Mission Ridge, at Columbus.
A brick-layer in Cincinnati did good job
last week. He laid the brick on the head of a
dog Keeper who had sold him liquor.
The statement that "the course of true love
don't RUN smooth" won't go down with the
lover who has been chased away by bulldog.
II care nothing for ceremony" said the man
who was about to marry rich woman.
"No," was the response, sit is the last half Of
the word you care for"
From reports received from Chattanooga re-
garding the conduct of one Democratic Senator,
it seems that he didn't stop until he reached
Africa.
The arrival of the Democratic Senators, in
Chattanooga was no surprise. They had been
looking for the Salvation Army for some time
'Do they miss me at home2" sang the DEM
ocratic Senator. But the only response to the
strained ear was the rap! rap !'' of Bob Ken
nedy's gavel, as the business went on.
The Democratic Senators succeeded in get
ting far out on the limb that Kennedy
sawed the limb off,
Some shrewd, observing man can do the
Democratic party of Ohio great service-by
telling it something meaner it can do. 1t has
done all that it could.
"If you cannot love me-" said the city dude
to the farmers daughter, as he was about to
leave, sat least let us be friends!" But they
Oh l. hoo
bill
If the militia at "Camp Foraker look any
thing like the pictures in the Commercial Ga
zette, the Communists might take broomsticks
and go out and kill them.
The Democrats of the Senate "folded their
tents like the Arabs, and silently stole away
Those who remained behind stole, too, but
were caught at it.
1t cannot be expected that the great show of
human experience can pasa along through the
world without somebody pulling back on the
spy-Topes.
One of the strange pictures is to see the Sal
vation Soldier one side of the street beating
ON a halleluiah tambourine, and half doSen
men on the other side staggering on a hallelulah
drunk.
~ don't like to talk about the old war times
for the purpose of hurting the feelings Of any
one, )" said the Copperhead. He was only speak
ing of his own grievances.
"Dou you think the frauds ought to be GUST
ed ?" said the Democratic Senators to the peo-
pie.
"Yea, verify /" was the laundering response.
Immediately every Democratic Senator but
one lit out
Glorious house-cleaning time! How inter-
esting, and how amusing! Tis a homelike
privilege to climb over stack of rocking chairs
and bed-ticks, five feet high, sit down on 9
trunk, and eat dinner while holding yourself
in readiness to dodge the threatened fall of a