Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-03-04
urRE avn rHERE.


,ohcy in tho House, March %. Why didn't
le consult the fitness of things and de-
ilare IL on the 18th 2-Loloell Courier.
Teacher -"who discovered America Pr
Johnnie christopher Columbus
That is right; now, how did he come to
10 it?n HE come by water, of course
You can freeze up gas main or
wnter pipe, but il is altogether a different |
thing when you try to freeze up things |
for carnival. Burlington Free Press.
Minister-''I am thinking of getting a |
new chime for the church. What would |
you recommend 2" Parishioner(who lives
next door to the sacred edifice) IA pair
of dumb BELLS
Lecturer Ito manager): Arethe acoustic
properties of your hail good Manager
Excellent, sir, excellent. I'll have the
property man get 'em ont and dust 'em
for you for tonight. 1IdJits
She-William, when are we going to be
married? He-Not until your father
takes me- into business, Sarah. don't
want to take You FROM your home until
can support you by good honest TOLL
It'd Bits.
Amt you 'shamed ter be seen in der
tabernacle in SIGH raggerdy pants?" said
Whangdoodle Baxter TO Jim Webster
mo, indeed, parson; limit 'shamed. Dey
don't belong ter me. What's L got ter
be 'shamed off,"
Signal-service man Ito assistant -"1si it
growing cold outside 2" EYES, "Think
it's going to snow ?" 81 wouldn't be
surprised" "Well, wait to you see it
falling; then run up the eold-wave flag"
-Terds Sittings.
Il say, Robb, my wife told me yester-
day that if came home in an intoxicated
condition again she would get divorce"
''Is il as serious as that ?" eyes. Do
you know good lawyer l could direct
her to ?"-Tid Bits.
Charlie (who is often quite naughty
'When we die, mamma, will we take our
bodies to heaven Z" Mamma-"We'l take
all that's good, and leave all that's
naughty here below Charlie-'Well, |
guess I'll be awfully thin when Iget there. ~
Haverhill, the home of Whittier Inns
| turned over q new leaf and formed n
| Whittier club, the object Of which is to
study his works. This is believed 10 he
the first Whittier club in America and the
example is worth copying, -SpriaaFeSd
| UHi0R.
Red canon prospector gathered rnb
bit mcat enough during the late storm u
do him iii June. He cut lot of trees,
painted the ends black, and the rabbits
butted their brains out trying to JUMP
into what they took for holes. lie got lat
the first night, Gea0a Neg,) Courier.
An cnterprising Chicago reporter asked
BARLEY Campbell il there was any truth
in the rumor that he was insane. BARLEY
said il WAS II base fabrication, but the fac
that he didn't pulyerize the reporter foj
his freshness indicates that his menta
powers are waning. - No5Tisto0a Herald
Lord Carnaryon will have CARTE
made for him MS token Of his service
in Ireland. IF man has no true nobilit
, in his head, the hes. thing he can do i
to wear sign of it ON his leg. 1t ma
} not make him really great but goo
0 garters will keep his socks mp and hel
him along in the world -Nslo OrIeda
s PicdyWae.
Son of railroad mau TO his fathei
"0h, father come and see this washor
), in our back yard The father who thinl
d he has had wnshouts enough on the rou
e without another in his own yard ,heaves
e sigh and goes to the window prepared fl
> the worst. 1t is Monday aud he disco
ers the wash out on the clothes line
N N1'7oic4 Bulletin.
= Frequent inquiries are made for plot
Is graphs Of Miss Cleveland but none are
:. he had in the shops, Miss Cleveland h
y had several pictures taken since she /
4 &c Al
10 but in each case the photographer h
U been required TO destroy the negative.
To Washington LITTER in ATLANTA CoHStii
=, ton. ....
IL Gluck was asked why the words
10 Orestes, Tranquility once more reig
VI in my heart were accompanied by 81
y, fcverish figures OF the double bossrs a
NC yiOlns in evident contradiction of I
~ words. He replied Don't You see
W. man lies How can tranquility he
ne his heart when he has just murdered
'eI mother ;"-B0StDR Post.
NJ In Nutshell. Whats the reas
,va there are so mnuy divorces nowaday
Il asked Mrs. lerger, who was reading
to morning paper. II have studied
ca. subject thoroughly from every posi-
Ied standpoint and | think | can point
a. the true cause, and rs long rs that ca
ode lasts there will be divorces, replied {
est Yerg,r "What is that cause 2" MIA
he mony. IGrds strings. =...
for A dire rumor comes from tile me-
hat polls that Captains Bogardus and n
will not come together to shoot for
championship OF the world This is
very sad, We could have borne ain
ANYTHING hut this To know that
and championship or INC world Is 70
last begging p 700 lhucn' 100 mnch, "a
tely not nj THESE lEtonunent Tears -H9
Any transcript,
llns Fond Boston mother 10 dnushtu
l ~. "leunie, did yuu kiss yuuug Gas
N ~ again tonight - Daughter - %.
mainma, les jlst lost IN uncle iii
Francisco. and / was So sorry for hi
n. Fond Boston mother Well, Jennie
this he the last. I'm afraid if Won
~, = ON encouraging him with your synp
~ :" he won't have n relative left in the "
- wide world. "- IH Bis.
Ing The emperor Of Germany does not
WI WI the piano. but be was exceedingly
'u.a plimentary the other dny to the nj,
70 who ACCOMPANIED the distinguished
hno,' linist Sarasate. The pianist knew the
a 1u- peror S aversion TO his instrument
lcky played extremely piano "You. =
ol Ills MAJESTY. AT ieast know how ~
low we'll scarcely heard the niano ,
Won were ACCOMMODATING the yioIinis
h[- Ner Ygyk SIN
iu"th 'WhRts this neWslMuer article
inst the late John Smith N manfred al,
same Badger as he our John ?" aGue
and is. "Well. we'll, He alters was s1o,
r,nl,eeas n, Jn,,,nr m ., l.