Morning journal and courier., 1886-05-20
SLEEPING HIN CHURCH.
ChurchgOer's Experience and Phy .
 sfc1an's Practical Ideas.

From the New York Sum-
 "Doctors are consulted for strange reasons sometimes" remarked physician the other day, 'but seldom has my professional aid been sought on an odder ground than was presented to me yesterday by an elderly gen tleman who offered himself for my treat ment. He wanted me to cure him of sleep ing in church. Personally, he averred, he would rather prefer not to keep awake, as he didn't think much of the preaching, but his wife had made up her mind that his slum- bers were simply scandalous,' and insisted that they must be stopped. She did not care so much while he could sleep wit heut snoring but he got a catarrh, and after that was a real bugle in Israel, which she could not en- dure. Knowing the value of domestic peace and quiet, he naturally wished to do as his wife desired, but the flesh was weak, and he still slumbered in the sanctuary The happy thought occurred to him of chewing tobacco "a practice that he had abandoned for years ito keep himself awake, but he dropped asleep all the same, partly swallowed his first quid, and for few minutes engrossed the attention of the entire congregation by his wild unstudied explosions and eavort- ings. The memory of that bright but shame ful season of unhallowed excitement kept him wide awake one Sunday, but the next he began to be drowsy just as soon as the preacher got agoing. His mental struggle with somnolency kept him just outside the edge of good, comfortable sleep, but nodding like toy mandarin. One minute he would nod forward, further ands further, until he threatened to butt the stylish hat of the young woman in the pew before him, and then would wake with g guilty start. The next he would nod backward, more and more, un- til consciousness Of losing his balance start led him up, and he would come erect with a choking gurgle and snort that almost made the preacher lose the thread of his discourse By his wife's advice he tried earamels, cloves, drisd ginger, lemon peel, and he could not remember what else, but the only time that system was success was when she rang in some Cayenne pepper lozenges on him. When all else had failed she grimly said that she would undertake the job of keeping him awake. And she did it-once Just as he was dropping off into a gentle dose and tuning up for catarrhal obligate, he fairly flew into the air, with remark that was all that could have been desired in point of en- phasis, but the pious base of which was sad ly misplaced. She had iabbed shawl pin into his leg. One of the deacons came to see him during the week, and said he thought that the provocation might fairly be taken into account in judging the sinfulness of words uttered in such hasty excitement. The deacon suggested that he should try prayer to keep him awake; but, of course. he didn't take much stock in that advice, and came to me-"
 "Well, what did you do for hims"
 About all that the least harmful mem- bers of my profession do in most cases nothing. told him he might drink very strong tea or coffee before going to church, and that would probably keep him awake, but the tea would play the deuce with his | stomach and nerves, aud the coffee would be likely to damage hls liver, so he had better | let them both alone. As for giving him drugs to keep his nervous system under | such tension that a dull sermon could not make him sleepy, I simply wouldn't dc it. l Then he wanted to know if there wasn't some nerve that could be irritased, by com precision or otherwise, so as to brace him up, or some posture he might assume that would prevent his becoming drowsy. l said yes