Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-11-20
Tall Stories Told by "A Dakota
Man
From the Modern Miller.

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aers, tearing along like m.d. He
stopped me just long enough to tell
me what was up and off he went
again for the Iowa side of the Sioux
river, which he cleared at bound
and fell on all tours into a snow-drift
four feet deep. He said he and his
wife had looked up the moon BUSH
ness, and had planted their garden
the evening before, but happened to
get hold of last years almanac and
missed it about four days. The re.
sui was that when he woke up that
morning the beets that he had plant
ed forty feet from the house had
crushed in his cellar wall, and had
also taken the door off its hinges,
and was thus hopping the floor with
all that left of the hired girl, whom
Il had snatched out Of bed in the at
tic. He didn't know where his wife
was. but he saw some shreds of a
nioht gown and several agate but
tons in the front yard as he fled.
He said there were pea vines after
him, with pods on them large enough
for phantom boats; and one could
see by the way he was dressed that
If he was liar at all, he was not
regular Dakota thoroughbred sam
pie. If / really thought / would
ever be an average Dakota liar |
would want to die This territory
must be divided some time before
the day of judgment, for how could
the Almighty ever audit its accounts
with only one set Of clerical angels
at work at time
About two weeks ago | saw far
mer out behind straw-rick gather
ing into heap a lot Of old bones
and pieces Of hides and sprinkling
salt on them. Yesterday l saw the
same man selling a fine pair of steers
to a butcher up town. They were
so fat and had filled out so fast that
he had pieced out their hides with
an old buffalo robe. This granger
was Sunday school superintendent
before he came to Dakota, but he
swore that they were the same cat
tie | had seen him Kicking together
behind the straw stack He said all |
they had eaten was some wild grass
that had sprung up in his door-yard,
where the women folks had thrown
aut few tubs of warm soap-suds on
wash days. He said that he had
learned that the best way to winter
stock in Dakota was to knock them
all to pieces in the fall and set them
up again rs wanted; otherwise UNI
less we get a blizzard every week,
they were liable to get too fat on the
native grass
Last fall l stopped at a house to
borrow q match to light my pipe
with. The man told me to go right
out in the garden and pick all /
wanted. / did not know what he
meant at first, but he went out with
me, and-I'm almost afraid you'll
think am liar for telling it-there
vas about half an acre growing the
finest parlor matches / ever saw.
They were as thick as hairs on a
blind mole. He said he had poor
crop the year before because the seed
was too good for such soil. This
year he had mixed his seed matches
with about one-fourth h.picks
snd got a splendid yield.
I went out after breakfast and saw
The man blowing up Hubbard
souashes with gunpowder. They
were too large to be moved, and the
farmer wanted the ground. motto
ed that one of his wife's legs was
about eight inches longer than the
other and the man explained it thus:
He said when they first came to Da-
kota they lived in "dugout," with
nothing but the floor from which
thev had to NOW the grass once a
day to find the baby. He said his