St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-07-24
A TERRIBiE AFFuICTION.
yaluabl. Information Relating to Chills
and Fever, Alias Dumb Ague, Alias Ma.
laria, Alias the Shakes.

Valuable Information Relating to Chills
and Fever. Alias Dumb Ague, Alias Ma
laria, Alias the Shakes.
Recently a number of our merry
philosophers have been giving their
views on the subject of malaria. Some
men are born with malaria, some
achieve malaria and others have ma
laria thrust upon them.
In looking back over my bitter past
l find that once had malaria myself.
| 1t was is 1865 and lasted seven weeks.
But it was not called malaria in those
primitive days of this now fashionable
malady. 1t was known in its various
| forms as chills-and-feyer and dumb
| ague, while vulgar people simply
summed them both up as '.the shakes
Dumb ague would come on every
day, chills-and-f6ver every other day.
OF the two perhaps dumb ague was
considered the more distressing. l
! knew an old lady at this time who had
the dumb ague so badly that she could
do nothing but talk.
But to myself. had a terrible time.
l wore all my flesh off; or, to be more
correct, the chills worked all my flesh
| off for me until l was nothing but
bones, like shad.
have never since been so much re-
duced in circumstances as was then
reduced in flesh.
The one fortunate thing about my
| chills was that the preliminary head
ache would set in about school time in
the morning. Then l would go forth
and sit in the sun. and keep as warm
as could. Notwithstanding the fact
that l was cold, the thing [ yearned
for most was ice-water.
But at this period | was not the bond
holder am at present, and ice was far
beyond my pecuniary reach.
took quinine until my head ratified
like a bob-:ail car on a down-grade.
The old lady with the dumb ague took
the same noxious drug until she COM
pletely ruined her artificial teeth. But,
as had no artificial teeth to ruin, /
went on taking it until felt sure that
that was not the medicine for me.
"What cures one won't cure another
of agey," was a stock quotation among
the yokels that surrounded me. Every
man. woman and child swore by the
compound that cured him. her, he, she
or it. One man was cured by quinine,
another by chalk and vinegar. and an
other by chinoidine.
At that time was a constant reader
Of dime-novels. and fervently believed
in Indians and every thing Indian.
from Indian pudding to indianapolis.
SO when was recommended to try u
famous patent-medieine known as In
dian Polliwog. proceeded straightway
to the drugs store and got bottle. and
went into ecstasies of JOY over the
label, which showed an Indian, IN war
paint and feathers. standing under
cottonwood tree, leaning on the muzzle
of Il rifle evidently unloadcd) in a
majestic attitude. with the last rays of
the setting sun playing fantastic capers
on his fur-lined circular. This gave me
great faith in the medicine, which was
said to be composed entirely of herbs.
But after | used the contents of the
bottle, concluded that if there is any
thing of an Indian nature that will
break up malaria, it is tomahawk
buried about half-a-foot in the skull.
But on my we'll days made up for
what suffered on the sick ones. 1
would go fishing and shooting and
swimming, and get SO tired out that |
hoped to be able to sleep through the
next dav. chills and all. People who
were literally roasting, for it was midi
summer, used to regard me with envy
when they saw me shivering and
shaking in an overcOat.
When asked if would 90 to picnic
or baseball match on a certain day.
l used to count the days Off on my
fingers to know whether l was going
to be sick or well at the time. and an
swer accordingly. The happiness and
misery of the sick and well days was a
sharp contrast. / called it sunshine
and shadow, Just as call my present
days sunshine and sbad-roe.
Some people said it was not malaria
at all, but that my liver was out of or
der. then commenced eating bacon
three times day to brace up my liver.
never knew exactly how got rid
of it. 1t seemed that il got tired of me
and departed. fancied in my joy that
l had perhaps mislaid it somewhere,
Just as hen sometimes mislavs an egg.
Anyhow, my chills mysteriously van
ished. and trust that if they are ever
found the finder may be some other
than myself.-R. X. Munkittrick. in
Puck.