The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1886-09-02

m
presents, els not civil service reform, but
silver service reform. This set is plated"
There are, of course" says Chicago
paper, two sides to the dressed-becf
question 1t may be added, says the ID
CerttSer, that there are also two quarters to
each side of dressed beef.
She had false teeth and false hair, but
she was pcachy checked, bright eyed and
prettily formed, aud had an angelic temper;
SO he said with all thy false love thee
STILL"
''These arc hard times" said young
collector of bills. every place ! went TO-
day was requested to call again but one,
and that was when dropped I'm to see my
girl"
"Pomadc, sir?' politely said barber to
cranky customer. "No," he growlcd;
II don't want any olcmargarinc on my
head" "All right, sir; never like to put
butter on cabbage heads"
While the female sex is clamoring for
rights they never seem to take into consid-
Grafton the fact that all the best poetry
descriptive of the charm and innocence of
infancy is written on girl babies.
'"The upper class lives the longest" says
q writer on longevity. We have no doubt
of this. The private soldiers are all dead,
and only the captains, majors and colonies
remain.
1t may be a good thing for dcfaultcrs to
commit suicide and SO rid the world of
| their presence, but it would be better still
if they would perform the happy dispatch
before the cmbezzlng begins.
In We oldcn time liar was legally pun
ished by having hole bored through his
| tongue. If this were the custom now there
arc men whose tongues would resemble
porous plastcrS.
Among the very inappropriate things
| used rs charms for watch chains arc wheels
| with jcwclcd hubs and spokes, and little
gold safes. A safe! What next? A rcrrig-
| orator or q coal bin.
Philadelphia seems to he paradise for
bogus noblcmcn. No citizen Of that good
town can resist them when they 20 into
minute particulars about their grand.
| fathers.
Lightning struck piano in a house in
\ ork county, Nc, and thoroughly dcmol.
ished it. This will strengthen the theory
recently advanced by q scientist, that light
ming is possessed Of intelligence
Walking,stic still continue to increase
in size, and unless the limit is soon reached
the average young man may be mistaken
for base ball player who has just pur-
chased q new bat.
| 1t fills the heart with gladncss to know
| that when one goes to dime museum TO
| see the living skeleton one is not TO be de-
| cclvcd by any kind of makeup. The liv-
| ing skeleton never pads.
While Maine fights Canada and Texas
wars with Mexico, we sincerely hope the
Dakota Officc-SCckcrS will not take adv,n
tagc of the crippled American people and
scCcdC from the Union.
The fact cannot bH ignored, whether we
will or no, that the labor question ovcrtops
all others at present in the importance of
its problems and the difficulties which arise
in attempting to solve them
Strange are the bcQucsts which DconIc
sometimes make to pCrpctuatc their own
vanity. a man lately bcqucathcd $500 10
church in New Jersey, on condition thai
its bell should be tolcd on every anniycr
sary Of his death.
Radiant memories and rare old iol1cs arc
llnc old sauces for supper, but they too will
cause commotiOn among the chcstn,
bells. The rare old jokes must be wrapprd
up and laid on the shelf, if it takes the
last four leaves in the family Bible"
1t is hard to tell which side to take
The prohibitionist when he pocs tish.
ing takes flask Of whisky with him and
comes home the worse for using it. The
prohloitlonist takes quart of ice cream
and discovers after he has eaten it that if is
poisoned and nc has narrow escape.
n Columbia cat is credited with remark
able intelligence. She saw rat about to
go through small knOtholc i'm Il tight
board fence, and, knowing that she could
not reach the rat before he reached thr
holc she went over the fence like q Shot
ana captured him at the other side.
a Columbia school girl lately puzzIcd
hcr teacher with the inquiry IF the eldest
| chlld OF an English ruler succeeds TO thc
| uIrone' what would happen if the eldest
| child was twinS?' The Girl was very much
| surprised lt the teachers inability tnonSw.rr
Off hand, and tried to find out from her
| mother; Tut the question still agitatcs the
| town. '''~
Children rejoice in noise. They onpoor
| TO take a pleasure, both in noise itself onI
in the act of making it, that is pcrfcciiy
unlntclligiblc to grown-up people, "Why
40 fathers and mothers always keen soyin%
'hush?' bright, healthy boy asked the
| other day; and he was evidently much pIZ
Zlcd that we should fail to APPRECIATE What
was to him source Of unlimited satisfnc.
ton. w
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RnilrOnd Accident.