davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

PRETTY CoUsIN-"And what do
you think of doing after leaving Har-
row?n
Tommy-''Oh, 1 shall go into the
Indian civil service"
Pretty Cousin-'Do you think you'll
like India, then?"
Tommy-"Oh, it's not that. But
you know, in the Indian civil a fellows
widow gets such a good pension!"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

Throw life into a method, that every
hour may bring its employment, and
every employment its hour.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

Bread made with sea water is recon-
mended for patients suffering from dy
spepsia and serotuE
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

FOND WIFE-''Are my husbands
ashes ready?"
DR.. Fake (hesitating)-"WelI, yes
ah-hem-I believe so."
Fond wife (surprised)-"Why! DON'T
you know2n
DR.. Fake-"Well, the fact is, We've
had such a rush Of business lately that
l got the ashes mixed. However, there
are several urns, so take your choice"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

We seek to control ourselves, yethow
few Of us are masters of ourselves.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

Deceit and falsehood, whatever con-
yeniences they may for a time promise
or produce, are, In the sum of life,
obstacles to happiness.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

We should be as careful of our words
as of our actions, and as far from speak
Ing i'll as from doing i'll.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

The best Ankle Boot and Collar Pads are
nade of zinc and leather. Try them
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17
rACETIAE.

Mr.. CoHEN-"Repece1, my tear.
Der doctor has given me oop.'
Mrs. C.-"Ach himmeil dds u il
Mr. Cd seems hart to leafe
YOU" Ill ~.
uckt."
Mr.. Cid seems hart, Repeccl,
ind der busy season is COMM on IN 4
week. Put dot chob lot Of combs in
der coffin. I'll spring 'em on der
angels. Hast du g~esehen!"
"CuoLLY. would you believe it, but
Gussie Wnloughby was actually bitten
by Miss De Snook's how'd pug oaWg
lawst evening"
"Gwaciousl And it halnt got The
wabies, l hope?"
ssCawn't say, you know. Don'tcher
know but Gussie is actually pWoud OF
it,"
"Pwoud of being bitten by q nawsty
pug dawgl How strange, to DC surei
Why2"
'He says it's quite English, you
know"
Cigarettes and vanilla cream for two.
A M1KADo of Japan never wears a
a- H,4 b,s baap washed. We
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

81 SAY, Robb, my wife told me yes.
terday that if l came home in an in
toxicated condition again she would
get a divorce"
SIS it as serious as that?n
YES: Do you know a good lawyer
| could direct her TOP"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

If you act with a vlewto praise only,
You deserve none.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

EASTER is said to be the proper time
for marrying This gives the couple a
long honeymoon, and they Will be in
just the right condition to repent when
the next Lent CONES round.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

Piso's Remedy ks Gratarrh is agreeable
O use. Ii is not n 6Qnid or a smut. soc.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

NICE FRUIT PUDDING.-One cup OF
molasses, one cup of sweet or sour
MILK three cups of -four, one-half cup
or melted butter, one cup of chopped
ralsins, two eggs, teaspoon of soda.
Bake for two hours. Eat with sauce
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

Jay Gould is only forty-eight years
of age.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

A MrKADo of Japan never wears a
garment that has been washed. we
have them in this country, but we call
them ''tramps'' and ward bosses"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17
FATHER-"Be sure and carry in that

FATHER-'Be SUI and carry in that
wood this afternoon, yonng man."
Son-"What'l you gimme?"
"I1l give you till supper time to do
it."
''If that's all there is in it I'll strike. .
IF you do, | follow suit, and don't
you think that the old mans good
right arm has lost its cunning in the
use of the hame, strap either.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17
The restimony OF a PnysicIan.

a fox sleeps, but counts hens in his
dreams.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

CALLER-"Only fancy, Mrs. Dow
derley, l was very nearly calling on
your neighbor, Lady Masham, whose
day at home it is, too, when l suddenly
remembered l wasn't dressed for pay
ing calls"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

"YoU say Mckenzie has a pet
theory?"
"Yes.n
81 never knew it. What is it?"
HE thinks the girl he is engaged to
is gong to be satisfied to live on eight
hundred a year."
What a wildly delusive dreamer
Mckenzie isln
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

AK Italian astronomer declares that
the inhabitants Of Mars are making
signals to US. This shows that that
planet also'is cursed with people who
want the earth.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

a LATE novelty in use of poultices,
IS to wet a sponge in a concentrated
decoction of mustard, and wrapping it
with a handkerchief bandage for ap-
plication. 1t is readily renewed by
simply again ilnmersing in the same
LIQUID.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

"YoU are mistaken sri" Indignantly
remarked a burglar caught in the act.
ut IS quite true that circumstances are
against me, but l never served as an
alderman IN New York during the
whole course Of my experience"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

mo" said Fogg, IN reply to the per.
son On the doorstep, "the lady of the
house is not In: 1t is her evening out,
But my wife IS in; perhaps she iaight
do as we'll"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17
DRS. ]. N. & J. B. HOBENSACK.

THOSE AFFLICTED WITH THE EFFECT5
OF SEMINAL WEAKNESS AND MERCURt-
ALIZATION should not hesitate TO consult j. N.
and j. B. HoBENSACK, of FOG North Second
street, Philadelphia. Hours from s A. NJ. to2P.
NJ, and from 6 TO 9P. NJ.
Advice free. Read our new book, "rhe Mys-
terry, etc." Price, 1Oc. Also treatment by mail.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

CEMETERY KEEPER.-By q mar having ,Testi-
u monials OF many years experience, as Laborer,
OF Surveying. Laying-out and keeping
ground Record and Maps in proper co1dtl on Adj
iress. j, w. BOX 672, New York.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

The only way to have a friend is tt
be one,
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

WILL the coming man be happler9"
asks a writer. 1t depends to a great
extens upon whether his wife has gos
tired and gone to sleep or is still wait
ing up for him.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

FOB I0c.. Hoe. I0c., I0c.. Zoe,
NGvlll send prepaida
Soc. 5oe.. Soc. Soc, SOC. soc.
Package of IMPaRIAL KIDNEY an d LIVER CORE, tho
best remedy ever used, y any address in the United
States, with a liberal oder to any one, male or fe-
male. who desires to use their spare time and get
well paid forit. We do this u Introduce our RENE
dies everywhere Address
EIax-SeeA Emulation Comp. Co.,
OGDENSBURG, n, Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

A SCIENTIST says that the red-tail, a
little bird, will catch nine hundred 1ies
in an hour. 1t is not stated which
baseball club the red-tail has signed
with, but it should have no difficulty in
securing a position on one OF the mines.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17
end Tnsta in the Mouth
Hoods Sarsa pariNs

Sold by all druggists. 81; SIX for s.. Prepared
by CT HooD & CO, Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-04-17

Sold by all druggists. 81: six for 81. Prepared
by C. /. HOOD q 90, Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass
100 Doses One Dollar
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
south FLORIDA Exhibition.

from Lhe OFtttl3oO hep0FttF.
Since our last issue it has been decided
To hold the fair IN February on the Wilcox
lands, near the junction OF the South
Florida and Tavares, Orlando and Allan
tic railroads, with a race track around
Lake Eola. This latter will be graded in
such way as to form a permanent ride
or drive around the lake, and thus carry
out the views Mr.. j. Summerlin had when
he so generously offered the property to
the town. 1t is not yet decided whether
the exhibition of vegetables, etc.. shall
be in buildings or tents; some of the lat
ter have been offered to the directors
on very favorable terms. 1t is intended,
however, to have the accommodation of
superior character, and ample space given
for all exhibits. Already correspondence
has beer received from many distant
States, as we'll as from our own, intimat-
ing the intention of the writer's to send
their special articles for exhibition, and
it is probable that camp of Indians will
be formed on the ground. The ladies are
especially reminded that large number
of premiums will be devoted to them for
fancy work of any kind; also jellies, and
other articles of a domestic kind. The
educational department will also have
special attention; and in every possible
way the directors will endeaVor TO make
the fair worthy OF this progressive sec
tiOn Of the state,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
NORTHERN FARMERS.
The Manner in which One was Duped
by = Negro.

From the Athens (Gd.) BaaRer- WatcAnaaR.
A gentleman from Morgan county was
in the city and gave a reporter the fol-
lowing story: "About five years ago a
gentleman OF means came from the North
and bought large farm in Morgan, and
remarked to some of its citizens that he
was going to teach them how to farm;
that the reason the Southern farmers
were so unsuccessful in farming was that
they were too harsh upon their cOlored
employees; that he intended to take three
or four of the best he could find
and deal with them as he would a
white man; allow them to eat at his table,
etc. He took one boy to educate him and
got him advanced a good deal, when tue
boy came to his home a few weeks ago,
stole $3.50 watch, left, and has not been
heard of since, while others that he
trusted with the management of his affairs
have now the money that he once had
while he has the experience. The gentle
man says that the Northern people do not
know what they are talking about when
they preach social equality in the South; ;
that he has learned lesson by experience
that he will never forget"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03

The State convention OF the Christian
church is in session at DeI4and.
The San Marco and Florida House AT
50. Augustine are 10 be opened for the
season Monday.
Horace Greedy, nephew or the great
Horace OF the generation just going out,
is leading man at Sumterville.
The high winds OF last week have
driven a quantity OF shells on the shore at
Ruby, many OF which are pretty and
some rare.
Publication OF the Jacksonville Morn
ina Neies IL TO be begun about the middle
o. the month, with John T.. Varnum as
editor and proprietor.
Al Pensacola a day or two ago W. II.
McClellan's son swallowed bean, which
lodged IN his windpipe, and for some lime
his life was IN danger.
The C1roner's Jury ~ Pensacola ex.
hOnerated all parties connected with the
Jumbo from responsibility Tor the fatal
accident caused by the explosion OF her
boilers.
One Of tho workmen on the hotel At
Ruby picked no splendid round.
bOtt0mcd skin on tho beach sunday morn
ing. 70 bad the appearance OF belonging
10 pilot boat.
Certain parties are now endeayoring n
secure from the city ~ fensacola tbe
riAhtotWar Tor q railroad along Main
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03

From the Jacksonville CFlaA Heral,

FROM the Jdcbsonoille tFld.l Herald.
They had been TO see the ''PriVate Sec
retary," and we're languidly strolling
home when 1t was a fearful struggle.
At last he saw a chance and aimed at her
rosy lips, but she bObbed her head and the
kiss fell lifeless on the bridge of her nose.
But the villain still pursued her. He
seized her in his vise-like grip and PIN
Toned her head fast against his staIwart
breast, and while the shimmering moon
beams cast their silvery chances at the
graceful acreage Of her upturned face, he
imprinted long, lingering kiss upon her
luscious lips, which sounded like COW
pulling her hind foot out of a mudhoIe on
Bay street after it has been raining, but
which was sWeeter than the juice that
rIaa
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
New Years ADVICE.

Albany, Ga, Medium: II you must lie,
do it on grand scale. 1t is Just as easy
to kill 200 cartridges on the wing-Of your
imaginatiOn-as it is to shoot 50-get out
of bed in the morning on your right foot
and have hogiowl and cOwpeas for dinner.
By following these simple directions, pay
ing your debts, keeping a clear cOnsci-
ence and drinking artesian water, your
happiness is insured for the year that is
about to begin
Fort Gaines Advertiser: Jack Allen
says be proposes to cheat the barrooms
out of $40 a month next year by not drink
ing drop. We hear of a number of the
boys who are going into the scheme with
him. New years resolutions we guess.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
A Cotton CyCIOne.

From TIE Fort Gaines tGa.) Advertiser.
Master Hugh Sutlive has been staying
at the River Warehouse during his Vaca-
ton. Last week the cotton did not come
down the ''sliCie" from the hill to suit him,
so, procuring can Of oil, he proceeded to
grease the slide. The first bale that was
placed on the slide acquired velocity
that was astonishing. 1t rushed past the
shed, which it came near knocking down,
and was only prevented from going into
the river by shooting into the office where
Messrs. MeAllister and SutliFe were at
work. These gentlemen thought cyclone
had struck the warehouse, and were ex-
ceedingly pious for a very short while.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
MeBtFaI.
DANGER SICNAL

When person gives you counterfeit money
he perpetrates q crime against the law and
your pecuniary interests; but when he gives
you an inferior and dangerous medicine in the
place of one OF recognized and wen-knOwn
curative prOperties he commits the blacklist
of crimes, for he coDspires against your health
and life.
The Now York HerGEd, Sept. 81 1885, says;
ITO indOrse counterfeit medicine IL To in
lure the manufacturer and the buyer, and the
buyers will soon drop away from a coun-
forfeited medicine that they find worthless.
Manufacturers OF counterfeit articles fail be-
cause they have not the experience and ap-
paratus OF the large anufact urer to produce
tho same curative results. The large manu-
factuEeFs have the utmost incentive, while
they are protected to make their medicine as
perfect and curative as possible"
For example, take the experience of Sim
mons Liver Regulator, prepared by j II. Zelin
& Co., of Philadelphia; this firm has devoted
wears of time, employed the most eminent
chemists OF the land, and spent thousands OF
dollars in bringing their medicine to the per-
fection it has attained. and it's use has made
Simmons Liver Regulator widely popular.
These interruptions Adventures have gotten
up cheap cOunterfeits, dangerous TO health,
and stick on these frauds a name closely re-
sembling simmons Liver Regulator. to de-
celve the unWary INTO buying their inferior
goods.
FERNANDINA, NASSAU CO., FLA.
Ihave used DR.. Simmons Liver Regu-
latOr aud always found 10 20 do what is
claimed for IT, The last bottle and two
packages did me no good and were
worse than nothing. | see lt is not put
up by } II. Zeilin Il Co., and not gem
uine, and waste OF money 10 buy it.
would be glad 10 get the lure and
genuine. Send me some from honest
hands with red n and Ieilin h Co.'s
signature on the wrapper). The hctl-
tiOus stun sold Will inlure some ono
badly. BENZ. Il. RICH.
The genuine Simmons Liver Regulator has
become The FaultleSs Family Medicine and
has the Endorsement Of thousands who have
used IT, II You want simmons Liver Regu-
latOr zee that the Druggist gives you the gem
uine. not something he claims is 'Just a.
good F"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
Pat McGuire Sees Snakes.

From the Pensacola (Fta) Oos,mereiay.
The AdUGRce- Gazette of Friday. the
18th Christmas day. Gays that Pat Nc
GuIre saw twenty-four snakes Of all
kinds in his back yard the day previous.
While we are sorry TO learn that Pat has
got them. we congratulate him on having
them in mis- back yard in place OF his
boots. Too many straight or mixed drinks
will make snakes show up in winter or
summer. Yours,
SNAKE CHARMER.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
ROme's Contederate Monument.

at meeting of the LADIES' Memorial
Association of Rome ga. Friday, a con-
tract was signed with the Georgia Marble
Works, located at Marietta, for the COM
pletion Of the Confederate monument in
Myrtle Hill cemetery, Rome. The founda-
ten, which is already laid, is feet
square and Will be rs feet in height. The
contract calls for the completion of the
monument in time for the unwilling to
take place on May 10, 1895. The associa-
ton has already expended 500 on the
monument, aud the work now TO be done
will cost $1,000, making the shaft, COM
pleted, cost So, 200.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03

CHRISTMAS WAS HERE AND is GONE.
A LARGE PART OF OUR CLOTHING HAS
GONE ALSO, BUT WE HAVE FEW MORE
LEFT, SUCH AS SACK SUITS, FOUR
BUTTON CUTAwAY SUITS, CAss. PANTS,
OvERCOATs FOR MEN OR BOYS. WE
ALSO HAVE FULL LINE OF SOFT HATS
(sTETsoN's AND OTHER MAKES }, STIFF
LAUNDRIEU'AND UNLAUNDRIED SHIRTS,
OPEN FRONT SHIRTS, NECKwEAR, CAN
TON FLANNEL DRAWERS, ETC. ALL OF
WHICH WE ARE OFFERING AT AS Low
PRICES AS ANY IN THE CITY.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
He IIikes Chicken

From the Fort Gaines Ca AdDertissr
A certain bachelor in Fort Gaines is a
pretty constant visitor at the residence
Of NJ. Holmes. He is also very fond Of
fried chicken, and Mrs. Holmes usually
prepares his favorite dish when he goes
over. A shepherd dog on Mr.. Holmes
place has become so accustomed 10 the
duty OF catching chickens that he breaks
for one the minute the bachelors horse
appears In sight OF the house.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
Ellre al WoolicIiR.

ROCKY FORD, GA, Jan. Last night
about $3.50 O'Clock fire was discovered in
the store OF Parker n Bolton, at
Woodclih. 10 originated near the roof
and was discovered when too late 10 keep
II from destruction. The store Is sup
posed 10 have been burglarized and then
set on fire. The loss IL $1,000. The in
aurance ia 50 600
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
ne FiIIed nd,
From tAe nation t0a.) ont

From the Daitoa tGa.) OUisea.
Last Christmas Dalton young man
in q rash moment told his inamOfata that
n she would hang up her stocking he
would hll II with something nice But
after seeing Il be was undecided whether
10 get into II himself or buy her a sewing
machine. He finally settled upoA the
machine.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
BoRsFOBD's ACID PHOSPHATE.
Assinta Mental Labor

Prof. Adolph OFT, New York, says OF the
Acid Phosphate: al have been enabled 10
devote myself 20 hard mental labor, from
shortly after breakfast tin late hour IN
the evening without experiencing the
slightest relaxation, and 1 would not now
% any rate aIaNnnao With ~
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-03
All KROUSKOFF,S s1
Mammoth Millinery Establishment,

The Fall and Winter season has fairly opened,
and Ladies are surprised to see such immense
assortments in fine English Straws, French Felts,
trimmed and untrimmed The stock Of fine Tips
and Plumes, Fancy Feathers, Velvets, Pushes, etc.
is the most complete in the South, and prices to
satisfy everybody.
This Week we sell Silk velvets, in all colors,
at 90 cents
Felt Hats, in all the new shapes for Ladies and
Children, 35 cents.
We continue our sale in all Silk Satin Ribbons,
No. at 12a CENTS No. IL at Is cents,
-. RROUSKOFF',
BROUGHTON STREET,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-07
SPOTTED TAILS TRIBE.
A PEACE-LOvING INDIAN FAMILY.

MOURNING FOR YOUNG CHIEFTAIN-rHE REM
NANT OF THE SIOUX.
(FRoM AZ OCCASIONAL CORRESPONDENT OF TIE TRIBUNE ]
FoRT NIoBRARA, Neb., Jan. 23.-The great
Indian tribes residing this post formerly tho
most savage and they receive more rations cloth
Ing and supplies OF all kinds than any other Indians OF
like number in the United States am told that nearly
or..eyenth Of the whole appropriations made annually
for Indians 60 to tho Ogallallas and Brues. OF the
Ogallaa. there are probably 800 and of the Brulcs
there arc about 200. Tho Ogallaas are Red Clouds
old bands and is still chief The Brues Spotted
Tails old bands but Crow Dog killed him two years
ago for taking one of his Grow Dogs wives.
Spotted Tail OF the greatest Indians OF modern
times. The writer knew him well. "Old Spotty," as no
was called. claimed he king OF al the Sioux.
"Once" he used to say when my forefathers lived all
the Sioux tribe and my grandfather ruled over
them" Then no would go on with n long story about
Sioux kings, the last OF whom was his own father lie
was in fact only n blanket warrior Red Cloud he
looked upon as q rebel and usurper who was his
t Spoys) legitimate subject and deDed his authority
and rule
Spotted Tail had no lived would undoubtedly have
been Of great assistance to his people, o was always
the flleud OF tho whites after hc ceased from war.
Unlike FED Cloud tEero was no doubt about spotted
Tails ,Ineerity Ho said 81 have spoken with
my mouth words OF peace with the white man.
/ have touched the pen on the paper and signed
n compact not to war with my white brethren. What
have spoken with my mouth and signed with my hand
| Will always keep" And so he did No amount OF
persuason could shake him IN his purpose to live AT
peace with the whites even his own people ana his
family were pOwerless TO move him. When Walk-uhder
the-Grouud wished TO go 10 with Turkey Legs
against the white. in 1868 and visited Spotted TAI at
North Platte obtain his PERMISSION Spotted Iaii Saiu
"No cannot violate my treaties Even II tho wh'o
man docs not keep his part OF the compact SUN AZ"
hoppd nv IL and never again will make war with tho
ubi,os - Than Old Walk GrouEd, thinking II
/" snottv WAS SO much O man Of peace he might be
q" sassed" called him woman. But "Waiky was
mistaken in his man, for old "spoy wcntior MIN ana
nut his butcher knife into him seven times ana the'
Walk Underline round put under the ground ior
good. ~, ,,oo
us ,on "young Spot" was tho other DAY and Is
man of little note in his tribe OF course no has follow
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-07

they will go back. If they are punished they will
make reprisas , =. Once the landlords take to
what they call their remedies so certainly Will
the tenants take to theirs.
In other words If there are to be evictions there
Will be outrages, and there will be Ilsings. III
Home Rule were granted tomorrow 1t
would not quiet the country. The
real difficulty, it cannot be too often
repeated. is not all political it is agrarian. Lord
Carnarvon comes home to lay before his colleagues
the real truth about a situation which he avows
himself poweress to cope with. Lord Randolph
Churchill is reported as having been converted by
bis visit of the other day to Dublin from all notion
of further cooperation with the Parnellites. lie
has made up his mind that neither his party nor the
English people will stand it. They will not toer-
ate surrender They will not hand over the loyal
minority to be plundered. They will not endure 10
see the country ungoverned. Lord Camarvon, IN
the correspondence with Lord Salisbury,
published to-day, explains that he al
ways meant tc resign about this tlne'
and that it was only upon this condition that ne
accepted the Viceroyalty last summer. His word
on that or any other point is decisive, but 1t re-
mains none the less probable that If Lord Carnar-
von's policy had succeeded-a policy which was
Lord Sasbury's aso-we should have heard
nothing about retirement now. He feels, and MS
colleagues feel that a sterner purpose ana
stronger hand is wanted for the crisis. G. VS..