Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1886-01-06
I1ElS NEW Dl8pIslgsATION.


WHIST BsfeIl : 1Lan from tho wolverine
Btato. who Was Con-
tented With His Lot.
He wore 9 paper collar which had
been in constant use for week, and
this was attached to wooden shirt
which bad faded from light blue to
what might be classed as crushed
huckleberry color. His pantaloons
were Of coarse linen. bearing straw
berry stains here and there, and his
traw hat had led the procession on
more than one Fourth of July. It was
evident half a mile away that he was
from a back county. He must have
felt his isolation, but he marched up
Grand River avenue as stiff as poker,
carrying his extras in a carpet-sack,
and turned in at a hotel and asked if
he could be accommodated for q few
days while he looked around. When
answered in the affirmative he grew
confidential and remarked:
Il may have to 60 to W Washington
before go back home.''
Got business with the govern
ment2'' queried the clerk.
Eyes sorter bizness. I'm after an
Office of some sort"
"Ah! Any particular CLAMP
Il should remark! I've paid taxes
for seventeen straight years, been boss
at every Fourth of July, aud had more
tights with the intidels in my neighbor-
hood than you can shake a stick a..
I'm going to climb an Office or break
both legs
That was some time ago. Recently he
departed for home, broken down and
dispirited. When he settled his hotel
bill he had twenty-seven cents left, and
when one of the guests who knew of
his plans asked him how he succeeded.
he exclaimed:
''Say, m not the camel thought
was. I thought could climb an Office
like COW shining up hickory. but
I'm left.''
What were you after?''
''Anything. I kinder thought Id
like TO 90 rs minister somewhere or
other, but fellow in a saloon down
here wanted to know how l could 20
as minister when I couldn't preach.
Another Teller said might get into
the Custom House, but when went in
there and asked a man if he wanted an
ofice-seeker he said he'd give me two
minits to skip
did you 20 to the Pension OAice?'
Eyes. Went in there AMI saw the
boss, and he wouldn't take me because
I couldn't cipher in cube root. l
thought I knew all the roots in the
state, but he got me on cube.''
.'HOw about the PostOtficep"
swell, hung around there waiting
to see the foreman, until a policeman
comes up and says he'd have a letter
for me if didn move on"
''Didn t you try for an Office under
the local governments
"Yes-for dozen. I was introduce
ed to seven different aldermen. and it
cost me $3.50 for beer, but that all it
amounted to. / was just half an hour
too late with each of 'em to get an Of
fee. was advised to see the mayor
and speak right up to him. He WASH t
in, but his clerk peeled off his coat and
told me to take my choice between
going out of the door or window.
And you are going home?''
''Going right back home. My boys
allus said was the sharpest man in the
country. I'm going to lick 'em in ro-
tashun for bein' fools. My wife calls
me Judge and is thus tcllin' every
body that was born to be great. /
shall begin to call her an idiot before
git within half a mile of the
FARM
"You seem broke up
"rm clean gone, stranger. l came
here to shear, and I've been shorn.
was goin' to git offs fur myself, and
then rick up half dozen for the nay.
burs, and it will be sick crowd when
we git together in my barn and ltell 'em
that we are all left. I'm afraid-I'm
really afraid, stranger, that somebody
will offer resolution that the bulwarkt
of Liberty are busted and this country
gone to Halifax, and that it will be
adopted by risin' vote.''