Morning journal and courier., 1886-12-10
Col D-

"These scold waves are very trying" said
 & man to his wife this morning when she
 raided him for not building the ire.-Wash-
 ington Critic.
 Miss Winnie Davis remark that she
 'sknows nothing about the rebellion" leads
 us to fear that she will write some war rem
 iniscences.-PittsburgC Chronicle.
 A Chicago clergyman asks: 'Can man
 be Christian and at the same time sue
 cessful business mani" He can if he aaver- tises largely Christmas Puck.
 Passenger-ssThat's all the money have" Conductor Examining 8 trade dollar)-'I can't take that piece" Passenger we'll, give it to the company then. ."-Tid- Bits.
 The captured Apaches are suffering ter ribly in their confinement in Florida. Hard ly a day passes but some one of the chiefs sicken themselves on oranges.-Philadelph
 Call.
 Flowers of sulphur sprinkled hot shovel and the fumes inhaled while they are fresh is recommended for a cold in the head, but Fogg affrms that he wilt die before he will snuff up burning birthstone. It is not unlikely-Boston Transcript. A little Cass avenue girl came home from | church greatly troubled over the bottomless | pit. After while she eheered up, saying I ssI didn't think of 1t before, but if the bot | tom of the pit is out I could get out on the other side, couldn't I?'-Detroit Tribune. Brown Ito Robinson, whose mother-in- law | has recently died d)-I was sorry to hear, Rob- | inson, that your and your wife have recently l sustained heavy loss.
 Robinson (with feeling)-Yes, the old lady must have weighed over 250 pounds.-Life. Shoe dealer (to partner)-That new lot of
 French slippers is going very slowly. Hadn't | we better mark lem downa Partner-Yes; mark the 6ves down to threes, and the fours to twos. This change was made, and in a day or | two the stock was exhaustd.-Puck Chicago Girl-''Is it possible that you are the public streetsa' Omaha Girl-"Why | not9" 'sIn Chicago only domestics do that ]" 'tI cannot see why" "It's clear enough; domestics, you know, need books" "But | don't the young ladiesP' ''The idea! Why, we are every one of us, graduates of female seminaries and came back with our educa- | tion finished. ."-Omaha World. He was not joking.-"Are you married or singlea" asked New York judge of 8 wit ness in divorce suit. 'I am not married, l but my wife isn ssNow, if you get off any | more jokes in this court room, I'll lock you up for contempt of court" "Why, judge, ain't joking was married and got di- | vorce My wife married again, but didn't. l know when I've got enough, so you see am not married, but my wife is. You don't | catch me joking on any such serious subject as matrimony. .'1Texas Siftings. A burglar who YVES doing a neat job on 8 | large safe was mortified, on looking up, to see man standing quietly beside him. He was about to retire, when the gentleman said
 sGo ahead I am interested in that job" stWhy?'' asked the astonished burglar. ssBecause have forgotten the combination, | and no living person knew it but myself. If you can get that safe open I'll make it worth your while "-Burlington Free Press. | I've got a fond brother named Jim, | Who says I'll be married to Tim, not very distant relation; But say to him, "Jim," l will not marry Tim, l For I'm not of marry-Tim nation. | Boston Transcript.