davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-02
His Style Changed With His Wife
Paris Goulois

Paris journalist got married three
months ago.
A few days after the ceremony he met a
friend.
"Well," asked the latter, "what think
you of your new position?"
''My friend I am perfectly intoxicated.
When I work my wife is always at nv
side, and we embrace at every para
graph. Great heaven! yes, at every para
graph.
'.Ah," replied his friend smiling. sthat
accounts for your style being disiointed
lately"
This conversation was repeated. and
the journalists articles were henceforth
consulted by his intimate friends as a ma
trimonial thermometer.
For about SIX weeks the articles were
characterized by sentences even shorter
than the late Emile de Giradin, and the
ladies of the journalists acquaintance
were rapidly growing jealous over the
bride.
Then they became longer, the periods
were constructed more in the English
style, and the par agraphs were spun out
to greater length.
The honeymoon was evidently nearing
its termination.
The other day Nine. X. on opening the
paper and glancing at the article bear
ing he journalistic friends name made
discovery.
"Oh!" she exclaimed "there is only one
paragraph Poor little woman! She will
soon want separation.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-02
IN THE FARM HOUSE.

The stovepipe can be cleaned by put
ting piece of zinc on the Goals of hot
fire. The vapor produced carries off the
SCOT by chemical decomposition.
WHITE CAKE.
One cup of butter, two cups of sugar.
one cup of sweet milk, the whites of five
eggs, three cups of flour, two teaspoons
of cream tartar, one teaspoon of saler-
atus.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-02
WHITE CAKE
SQUASH BISCUIT.

Two cups of sliced squash, one cup of
yeast, two tablespoonfuls each of sugar,
butter and milk. Salt to taste. Knead
with -four like bread and set to rise over
night. Bake in quick oven in biscuit
for breakfast.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-02

Fence corners are great weed harbors
and breeders as a rule. For this reason
straight fences should have the prefer
ence, other things being equal. Fence
rows, whether straight or of the worm
variety. breed weeds. As little fence as
can be got along with should be the rule,
and should be kept free from weeds.
Clean, straight fence rows and fences in
good repair add materially to the ap-
pearance and value of the farm
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-02
WIDE-AWAKE PIE.

One cup of sugar, one cup of molasses,
one-fourth cup of vinegar, two-thirds cup
of water, and butter the size of an egg.
Simmer them together, then add one cup
of powdered cracker, allspice cinnamon,
nutmeg and rasins. Bake with two crusts.
This makes two pies.
BLACK CAKE.
Two cups of sugar, one cup of mo-
lasses, one cup of milk, one cup of but
ter, three eggs, one teaspoonful of soda,
one teaspoonful of cinnamon, one teas
spoonful of cloves, one nutmeg, five cups
of fonr, one pound of rasins, one pound
of currants, one pound of citron. This
cake will keep good several months.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
THE HOUSE IN 1888.
4 Forecast of the Result of the Next
Congressional Elections.

Under ordinary circumstances the
majority of the House of Representa-.
tiveS will be Democratic, as it has been
at every election since 1872. save one,
and as it would then have been had
the districts been arranged as they
now are in the several States.
During this time the Southern States
have sent at each election practically
the same number of Democratic Repre-
sentatives. except that the Missouri
Democrats in 1880 lost several districts
through q Greenback-R Republican al
lance. Decided political changes
have been confined mainly TO the
Northern States. and the disastrous eff
fleets were felt only by Republicans.
The Democrats, sure of more than one
hundred Southern members without
any considerable expense of time or
money, found it no very difficult mat
ter to secure sufficient number from
the Northern States to give them ma
ioritv, which. in such wears as 1874
and 1882. ran well into the seventies.
The present House has 1S4 Democrat
ic members, of whom los are from the
South. 81 from the East and A from
IIlt w cSb- ali TIE ldIt skdN {
States the South. New England. New
York. New Jersey and Pennsylvania,
the East. and the rest of the States the
West. The dividing line between par
ties runs now-as it has for years
East and West. the Democrats carry.
ing the House because their members
from the North outnum Der the Repub.
lean members from the South. For.
merlv this same line was drawn in al
important votes in Congress. Latter
". however. and especially now, the
line is purely imaginary. and. if drawn
at all. is rather North and South than
East and West. thus tending to divide
both parties. instead of welding togetk
er the discOrdant elements in each.
It is this fact which makes sagaciou
politicians of both parties apprehensiw
of the result of the coming Congress
sional elections. Democrats sutfet
from no monopoly of the prevailing
uneasiness. However serious the dis
satisfaction NAV be in the Democratic
party, Republicans are no less con.
eerned. The only consolation they
have lies in their confidence that for
once in this generation they are not
the only party liable TO be hit by q
political cyclone Washington Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
PRESIDENTIAL SUPPORT.

There Has Been Nothing in the Present
Administra ton to Drive the People
From ir-Ir. Cleveland Will Not Trim.
Were the President as versatile in
making political changes of base rs the
correspondents and other interested
parties are in making them for him,
he would not have time to give that
assiduOus attention to the great inter-
eStS of the country that has so con-
spicuOusly marked his very successful
Administration. He has been recently
credited in some quarters. with a pur-
pose to pursue policy that would
'.unite the party" This idea is based
upon the assumption that certain Re-
publican gains in various city and town
elections indicate division and disrup-
ton. and it is limited by some of the
indictments. that unless Mr.. Cleveland
does something startling, and does it
pretty soon. the next National House
OF Representative will be wrested from
Democratic control.
That is something for the Democrat
ic party to guard against if possible.
But we do not believe that, much as
the President would regret such re-
suit of the fall elections, he accepts the
responsibility for the danger, or in
tends to do any sail-trimming or pipe
laying to meet it. He has conducted
the Administration with strong hand,
a wise brain and an honest heart. He
has shown the people of the country
that change of Administrati was
not thing to be dreaded, but some
thing to be welcomed. He has proved
that the great National trust reposed in
him is as absolutely safe As it has been
under any Administration ever in
power. He has run the Government
with greater efficiency and economy
than any of his recent predecessors.
He has been ready to correct errors
when he has made them, but when con-
WINGED that he was right he has been
as firm as the great monument that
towers the giant structure of the Cap
ital city. There is certainly nothin g
in all this to disaffect the people or
drive his party from his support-Bos-
ton Statesman.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
SMART SILAS.
He Demonstrates That There Is Some |
Method in His HymeneaI Madness.

He Demonstrates That There Is Some
Method in His HymeneaI Madness.
Silas is country character, who
means well. He tries to earn a living.
and thinkers around at odd jobs and
chores and whatever he can get to do;
but he works good deal as he talks,
with a painful drawl that is very sug-
gestive of that state of natural restfuE
ness which his ilk call born tired >
Silas came to mend the fence the other
day for one of his patrons in the subur-
ban village where he belongs. with a
peculiar air of festivity about him. He
had on bright new necktie of japanese
silk. and his honest face was covered by
an expansive grin all the time that he
was receiving his orders.
You seem happy. Silas. " said Mr..
Blank, with some curiosity, when he had
finished about the fence.
..Ya-as," drawled Silas. ''Ya-as-
I've been a-gittin' married this morn
in
Married? You? Why. Silas, man
alive. what on earth have you gone and
done that for? You can t support your
self as it is.''
.-Wull." said Silas. Il ken pooty near
support myself, n / think it's durn
pity if she can't help some' -Bost0n
Record
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
HOME AND FARM.

1T used to be thought unwise to
grow small fruits, except in the vicinity
of cities or the larger towns, but of late
years it has been found that the country
furnishes better market for a certain
amount of strawberries, raspberries
and other small fruits. Chicago
Tribune.
-Corn-meal Mullins One cupfui
corn-meal, one-haf cupful of -four, one
tablespoonful of sugar. one-half tea
spoonful of salt, one teacupful of sour
milk. one egg, and one-half teaspoon
full of hot water. These are particularly
nice baked in rings, but may be baked
in the pans Toledo Blade.
Make cheese bars pastry day"
from the pieces left over from pies. Cut
strips three inches long and two inches
wide. Cover the upper side thickly with
grated cheese and the merest dust Of
cayenne. fold the pastry lengthwise over
this, sift cheese on the top and bake
quickly. Eat hot.-Boston Budget.
A Bantam laws larger egg in pro-
ortion to size than any other class of
fowls, and for food consumed yields as
large profits as do the larger breeds.
They are excellent as pets for the chill
dren. and usually educate the little ones
to knowledge of keeping poaltry.-N
7. Examiner.
Care should be used in feeding grain
to thin sheep that more injury does not
accrue than good. Their digestive or
gans are weakened by lack of sufficient
nourishment previously, and an excess
sive amount of rich food will overtaN
their capacities and entirely break down
their systems. -N0ntreal Witness.
Every rural home should have a few
evergreens about it. especially for WIN
ter ornamentation, when the ground is
covered with snow. 1t makes a beauti-
full contrast. and who can not afford it?
One need not 90 to the expense Of high
priced trees, for our common varieties
are fine when well grown. Small seed
lings can also be purchased of nursery
men at low price.-N T. Times.
Some farmers hold that it is good
plan to harrow the corn stubbie to break
it down, level the ground and loosen the
soil, thus letting it dry out more quickly
and forwarding the time when it may be
ploughed Spring. work usually needs
crowding along as rapidly as possible,
and as corn hills are not pleasant things
to plough. why not harrow it tirst?-N.
7. Herald.
-Gataau of Apples: Put into a sauce
pan half-pint of water, together with
half a pound of loaf sugar. Let it
boil. and when it becomes a thick sirup
have some tart apples pared, cored and
sliced, and add a pound Of these to the
sirup. tlavorjng the mixture with the
zest and Juice of Il lemon. Allow it to
boil. stirring it constantly; when the
mass becomes thick press it into a damp
mold. and when thoroughly set turn it
out on a dish; pour rich custard
around it and serve.-The Cdterer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
Not a Politician.

There is not so much talk in political
circles as there was few weeks ago,
about the Presidents failure as a party
leader. The President was not a poll
tician, in the ordinary sense of the
word, before he entered the W hlte
House, and he has not developed much
of the politicians talent since he has
been there The management of the
Government is to him a business mat
ter. He would like to transact the af-
fairs of the people in the executive Of
flee As he attended to the interests of a
client in Buffalo before he became the
President of the United States. He
doe. not take to the dicker and trade
of politics as practieed by many of the
gentlemen in Congress. The talk
about his want of leadership originated
In two different quarters. 1t largely
came from men with whom he had re-
fused to enter into small political bar
gains fer their private benefit. This
Is the trouble with many of the MEM
bers of Coz gress. They are uncertain
ahout their reelection. They are
plagued by importunate constituents.
who look to them to secure conSulshlps
and other fas places. They are both
cred bvcomsetitors who are ready to
seize on every fact that can be used to
their disadvantage, and who eareIuIiy
stir Nh. disaffeetions against them at
home. They want the President to
turn over to them the patronage OF
their respective localities The PreSl-
dent will not do il and his refusal Is
called ..s lack of leadership. "-B0stOH
Herald
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
HE Is INDICATED.

The Passage sf the Post-office Appropri-
alton Bill : Sufficient Answer to Mo-
hopoiy Att@cks upon the Postmaster
General.
Ever since Mr.. Villas refused tn v;ald
20 the insoleht demands of the Pacific
Mail Steam snip Company to hand over
the mail subsidy which they had so
persistentiy lobbied for at the last Con-
gress, he ha' been the object of fierce
and unreasp ning attack. Not only
that swash-5uckler organ of rabid Re-
publicaniSm the New York TyibUzae
but newspapers which should know
better, have assailed the Postmaster
General for what they were led tn ba-
lieve by theidisappointed LOBBYISTS was
blow asainst American shipping
Interests.
Mr. Villas complied with the full re-
qulrementslof the law. There was no
mandatory clause in it, obliging him to
submit to the demands of the Pacific
Mail Company. and his action in resist
ing the huiidozing course of that mo-
nopoIy has been sustained by public
sentiment His exhaustive explana-
ton of the question in his annual re-
port convinced every fair-minded read
er OF the wisdom and prudence that
governed ms action
The passage of the Post-office Appro-
priations bill in the House of Repre-
sentatives Is a striking vindication of
the course pursued by Mr. Villas. The
wise discretion he had exercised was
eloquently explained bv Messrs. Hol-
man and Randall. That remarkable
specimen Of New jersey statesman
shin lEiIliap, yIoI+o-
most amusing misstatement of the
question between Mr.. Villas and the
subsidy grabbers. bringing in entirely
irrelevant subjects, from the Presiden-
tial succession to the silver question.
He made no effort to explain away the
discretionary power left to the Post
master-General by the very bill about
which he talked so gliblv and he was
SUCCESSFULLY silent on the des-
perate efforts made by the sub
sidy lobby and the manipulation
of the Conference Committee The
Pacific Mail Company was evidently
disheartaned this time and abandoned
the field to MIR. Phelps. who was anv
thing but comfortable in his isolation.
The subsidy lobby in Washington have
discovered that this is not the kind of
administration calculated to give them
any consolation and that the temper OF
the House was decidedly against them
Even Mr.. Bingham. of Pennsylvania.
was forced to acknowledge that the
Post-Otfice bill without subsidy was
the best reported in his experience as
a member of the House in period of
eight years. 1t now remains to be seen
what disposition will be made of the
bill by the Senate. If that body at
tempt to load it down with objection
able amendments it will find more op-
position in the House than was encoun-
tered last year.-Aibdny argus.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06

Probably no concern in the country has
adhered more strictly to the determination
to achieve success by the liberal use of
printers ink than has the Brown Chemical
Company of Baltimore. Md. Starting bus
mess about five years ago they have ex-
pended over 81 ,50O. 00Oin tue preparation and
circu alton of printed matter more tina n
half of which has been paid for newspaper
advertising. All this has been done to make
known the virtues of their celebrated Iron
Bitters.
As might be expected very large sales
have resulted from this enormous outlay,
making it about as staple in many drug
stores as is flour at the corner grocery.
Like all good things. it has been largely
initiated. They claim there are unscrupu-
lous manufacturers who cater to just this
sort of trade, and some dealers so lacking
in principle, that because a greater profit
can be made on fraudulent than on genu-
inc medicines, are willing to delude the
public by pushing off Iron Tonic Bitters
and other Tonic Medicines in place of genu-
inc Browns Iron Bitters. The company,
finding these frauds practiced SO extensive
ly and all other means inadequate, have at
last determined to try a little cold law to
put stop to them. Suits for heavy dam
ages have therefore bsen commenced
against Non-Secret Medicine Manufacture
ers, for selling Iron Tonic Bitters; and 9TH
ers for selling Browns Iron Tonic; drug
gist in Baltimore, for selling Iron Tonic Bit
ters with his name upon the label which
medicine was made by Non Secret Medicine
Manufacturers and also claimed as an imi-
tation. The Brown Chemical Company de-
serve success in these suits as IL is high
time those who have built up large enter
prises to success. should be protected from
those who live not by their own genius and
effort, but by copying and counterfeiting
things that have been made standard and
valuable by others
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06

When Napoleon talked OF invading Italy
one of his officers said: But, SIRE remem-
Der the Alps" To an ordinary man these
would have seemed simply insurmounta-
Bile, but Napoleon responded eagerly {:
There shall be no Alps" So the famous
Simplon pass was made. Disease, like a
mountain, stands in the way of fame, fort
une and honor to many who by DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" might be
healed and SO the mountain would disap-
pear. 1t is specific for all blood, chronic
1nng and liver diseases, such as consunp-
ton (Which is scrofula of the lungs), PIN
pies, blotches, eruptions, tumors, swelings,
fever-sores and kindred complaints
A BUTCHER is known to be very prompt
In all his engagements, especially those in
which he promises to meat man.-Chicago
AaL
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
WICKED BOYS.
A Determined School-Master Who Knew
When He Had Enough.

TChicago Herald.
"Yes, I've been up in Northern Michigan
teaching school all winter" said a south
bound passenger with long scars on his
face. "but I haven't had much fun. It's a
tough job, and don't think I'll go back
again. l know when have enough. The
boys up there are bad lot thought
could handle 'em, but the very first day
when l stood 'em up in row for lesson
in spellin' something astonishing hap
pened. Little streams of black stuff began
to come down on me from the direction of
the ceiling. On making an investigation
found it was ink, but for long time
couldn't tell where it came from. Soon |
was black and stained from head to foot,
and the spelling book which I held in my
hand was so daubed up could hardly read
a word out of it. Where do you suppose
these streams came from. Four little
holes about as big as pin bored be-
tween the incisors of those boys. They
would take mouthful of ink, put on the
pressure with their tongues and cheeks.
and shoot out a stream that would fly
thirty feet as straight as a die. They
broke up that spelling lesson, and the
worst of it, was l couldn't get back
at them. because I never could tell
which boy was the offender. Those chaps
had bored those holes on purpose and they
had more fun than you can shake a stick
at. But it was rough on me. After hav
ing nv complexion and four suits of
clothes spoiled 1 got mad and attempted
to thrash every boy who had ink stains
on his lips. That was where [ got these
scars. How? WHY. from finger-nails.
The boys ad let their nails grow an inch
long, turned them under into claws. and
sharpened the ends to a fine point. They
could scratch like wild cats with 'em, and
1t is wonder I got off with my life. But
I did. and taught that school through the
whole winter term. just the same. How?
BY wearing sheet-iron mask over my
face and a gum-coat on my back. carry
ing two revolvers in my belt, and keeping
constable in the ante-room. Don't think
I'll take the job next winter, though. Pm
no hog"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
The Facts in the Case.

The Republican calculations about
being able to capture the vote of New
York State do not appear TO be very
well founded on basis of facts. The
abuse of Governor Hill does not seem
to have amounted to much. while the
blunders of the Republican Legislature
have made it somewhat notorious
The Herald, which generally knows
.'how the wind blows, says: IT the
Governor does not spoil the good rec
ord he has made since January. and
the Republican majority of the Legis-
lature do not improve their bad one,
the Democratic majority of ten thou
sand in the election of 1855 may easily
run up to fifty thousand in the election
of 1886. New York is State in whicl
such changes happen very rapidly.
Des A0ineS LIE IdeT-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
nt-Mindedness Perfected.
Albany Argus.l

A curious case of absent -mindedness is
that of young married man living near
Jonesville. Saratoga County. who one
morning MIXED his COW, set the pan of
milk in the corner of the stable and car
ried the stool to the house. This he did
twice in succession. The third time he
went to the barn to milk he took a basket
of roots TO the COW. He emptied out the
roots and sat down and commenced to milk
the in the basket, but found out his
mistake in time to save enough milk for
breakfast coffee.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
Earth as a Purifier.

Nothing will purify and keep stabi t
80 free from odcrs as the free use of dry
earth. and every one keeping horses
and cattle will find it pays to keep a
heap of it at hand. to be used daily. 4
few shovelfuIs of earth scattered over
the floor after cleaning viii render the
air of the departments pure and whole
some. The value of the season : manure
pile may be largely increased by the
free use of such absorbents- The
strength of the gases and liquids absorb
ell is retained. and is the very essence
of good manure. american.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06
a Reliable Almanac.

First srudent-What date is to-day?
Second student Qooks into his purse)
About the 10Th
First student-And do sou find the
date in your purse?
Second student-Yes, that is my al
manac Ny purse, you know, has two
divisions From the 1st to the 10th the
gold is on the right and silver on the
left side: from the 10th to the goth sill
yer is on the right and on the left there
is nothing: and from the Goth to the
30th-nothing on the right, ditto on the
left.-Reh06ofh Sandy Herald
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06

Whatever name or designation is given
to Fever and Ague or other intermittent
diseases it is safe to say that Malaria or .
disordered state of the Liver is at fault
Eliminate the impurities from the system
and a sure and prompt cure is the immedi-
ate result. Prickly Ash Bitters is the SAT-
est and most effective remedy for all bill
larry troubles, kidney diseases, and like COM
plants that has ever been brought before
the public. A trial is its bestrecommenda-
ton.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-06

TooTHACHE, headache and other aches
are cured by st. Jacobs Oil Price, so cents.
Prompt to cure and safe to take is Red
Star Cough Cure. No poisons, no opiates.
Price, twenty-five cents bottle.