davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01
Four more patients have died from so-

Four more patients have died from So
called hydrophobia under the treatment
OF Pasteur. When the enthusiasm with
which the theory of this earnest investi.
gator has been received fully subsidies,
the medical profession will demand the
suspension of the Pasteur treatment until
it is thoroughly investigated by compe-
tent and disinterested persons and its
harmlessness established. There is much
reason TO suspect that some of his patients
die from the poison of the incubation.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

A CORRESPONDENT of The New York
Tribune, writing from Panama, says that
within the last five months the death rate
among the chief resident officials of the
Panama Canal company has been more
than SO per cent, mortality which, if
it extended to all classes of the communi-
ty, would exterminate every man, woman
and child on the isthmus in six months.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01
WATERTOWN WIS, WEDNESDAY, SEPT. l. 1886

this issue is charming landscape by
Leonard Ochtman; the number is par
ticularly rich in figure sketches by
Boucher, De Beaumont and Edith Scan
nell, and choice original designs for china
decoration, embroidery and brass ham,
mering. An interesting "Note Book, "
some capital hints for collectors of bric-a-
brac, and suggestive article on color,
supplement most agreeably the severely
practical lex: relating to flower painting
in oils and other art topics. Price 35
cents. Montague Marks, publisher, %
Union Square, New York.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01
GOING TO WHIP HIM.
Why a Young African Will Receive al
Emphatic Admonition.

Why a Young African Will Receive al
Emphatic Admonition.
.'Gwine ter whup dat boy eff kotch-
es him, gwine ter whup hha, sho's
he's bo'ned," exclaimed a negro wom-
rushing out of a cabin and hurriedly
looking about her 'Oh, Use gwine ter
whup him fur he shain't treat me dater
way an 'scape."
''What's the matterP" asked man,
stopping at the fence and addressing.
the woman.
''W'y dat trifin' boy O. mine hab put
me in trouble, dat's de matter"
"What did he do?'
''W'y he slipped in dar whar wuz
washin' an eat up al dat saft soap"
''You don't tell me that he a5e
soapr'
ssCo'se I does, fur dat's whut he
done. Neber seed sich er chile ez dat
in my life. Hit sometimes peers ter
me dat de blame boy acks like ne wuz
mos starbed to def, an dat to~s when
he knows | gin him nearly ef whole
catfish head day befo' yistidy. Oh, Use,
gwine ter whup him fur eatin' datsoap
ike he was haungry -Arkafsaao
ZTdveler.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

LITERARY NoTE.-Now that 60 many
persons are returning from the country to
city apartments in hotels and flats the
excellent series of practical articles begun
in the September number of The Art
Amateur, "Hints on the Decoration of
Unadorned City Apartments" ought to
be very valuable. The colored plate In
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

AMONG the latest candidates mentioned
for the Office of state treasurer on the
Republican ticket is John E. Eldred, of
Milwaukee, who appears to have a strong
following in his portion of the state.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

Disorders of the stomach, liver and
kidueys can be cured by restoring the
blood to healthy condition, through the
vitalizing and cleansing action of Ayers
Sarsaparilla. Il is the safest, most pow
erful and most highly concentrated alter
ative available to the public.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

When used according to directions,
Ayers Ague Cure is warranted to eradi-
cate from the system fever and ague,
intermittent, remittent and bilious fevers,
and all malarial diseases. Try it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

When baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria.
When she became Miss. she clung to Castoria,
Whenshe had Children, she gave them Castoria
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

Il wonder why [ can't make my
kite fly, )" walled the little brother of
the High-school girl. "It looks to me, -
replied Mildred, ''as though it's caudal
appendage were disproportionate to
its superficial area" II don't think
that's it, said Jim. 81 think it's tail
is too light. Boston Post
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-01

a correspondent wishes TO know
how etiltors spend their leisure hours.
Leisure hoursp o, yes; they spend
them catching up with their work
Burlington Free Press.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
UnsOciable WaShingtOnians.

A Washington correspondent OF The
Indianapolis Journal writes: There is
less soclability among the congrega-
tons of Washington than in any other
known place on the habitable globe
A lady who has resided in the city some
four years, in speaking of this subject
to your correspondent to-day. said:
when my husband brought me here,
some four years ago, had not a single
acquaintance, and owing to the nature
of his business he had very few himself.
We took pew in a church of the same
denomination as that which had been
in the habit of attending in my former
home, and thought, of course. we
should soon have speaking acquaint-
ance with some of the church members
of the congregation. We attended that
church regularly for nearly a year
without having become familiar with
the name of a solitary lady who wor-
SHIPPED with us. At the end of the year
we removed our household goods, and
for some time remained uncOnnected
with any church congregation, but
about year ago we again rented a
pew in the edifice most convenient to
us. The minister is man whom we
like very much, and he has done all in
his power to make Us feel at HON, in
the sanctuary, but beyond his efforts
we know nothing whatever of the pco-
pie with whom we come in contact
every Sunday. There are perhaps eight
hundred people who are regular attend
ants at this little church. We know
the names of the minister and of two
of the church officers. We learned
their names because they pass the plate
to receive our Offering every Sunday,
but we have never spoken 10 either of
them, and i suppose if we remain con-
nected with the organization for the
remainder of our lives we shall find
ourselves still as much alone rs if we
lived in the middle of the desert of
Sahara. " Nearly everyone who comes
to Washington as stranger expert
ences the same difficulty. The churches
here are close corporations, which
have an air that is repellant about
them, and in which the congregation
seems to take no interest whatever in
the welfare of anyone else than its in
dividual sell. The Washington churches
do as much toward introducing civiliza-
ton among the heather of the
world as any similar bodies anywhere
in the United States. Washington
worshipers are perhaps as devout As
their fellows in other states and terri
tories, and perhaps do as much for the
cause of humanity. but when it comes
to extending the hand of fellowship to
the stranger that is within its gates
the people of the city seem to be sadly
negligent.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
GENERAL LIE FEvRCS COW.
The Farmer Who Wanted One with
Front Teeth.

The Farmer Who Wanted One Win
Front Teeth.
General Ben lie Fevre had lhrgained
for blooded COW at the sum of $500.
and as the drover was driving her to
Ben's farm to deliver and get his money
he met q gentleman who admired the
animal and asked whether she was for
sale. The drover replied that she had
been sold to General lie Fcvre for $500.
The gentlemen replied that if any
means could be devised to make Ben
..rue" the bargain he would give $3.50
for her The drover. anxious to make
$50, cudgeled his brain, and, remem-
boring the limited extent of LIE Fevre's
knowledge of farm animals, hh upon
an expedient He took the COW to Ben S
house, where she was duly and admir-
ingly paraded to an assemblage OF
friends gathered for the pupose; Come
in and get your money, - said Ben.
General" replied the droyer. 81
am a good democrat and your constit-
uent, and want to deal fairly by you.
The COW is all she is represented to be.
thoroughbred and good mixer. but l
am compelled to state that she is not
exactly perfect" 49,
"Why, what is the matter with herp"
queried lie Fevre,
"Well. the fact is" replied the
drover, .'she has no upper front teeth"
Great heavens!' CALCULATED the Con-
gresham farmer. mo upper front
teeth! That won't do at all, and !
don't want her; in fact | would not
take her for gift. Still, you shall
not lose anything. Here Is five-dollar
bill for your trouble in driving here
and back"
"All right" replied the drover. as
he pocketed the V. 81 don't want to
take advantage of you, General; so,
good-by!" And away he went and sold
the COW to the other man. clearing just
$55 BY the transaction. This joke was
too good to keep. Imagine Big Ben s
discontinue when it leaked out and
the disclosure was made that Ben did
not know that cows and Illuminating
animals were never provided by nature
with upper front ecth.-Washington
Correspondence Chicago Herald.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
A Struggle for Princinle.

A rainy day had housed us up in the
cabin of Tenneseean, and about 9
o'clock in the morning a man who was
addressed by our host rs Uncle Billy
came riding up through the steady pour
on a mule. The animal was placed in
the stable and as the two men entere d
the house our host observed:
well Uncle Billy, how'll YOU trade
mulesp'
''Oh, bout three dollars tew boot"
was the answer.
They returned TO the stables and
talked until noon. Then we had din
ner, and they talked until 4 o'clock.
The rain let up a bit then and we went
out to see cave, leaving them talking
mule. We returned ut 6 and they
were still at it. We had supper, and
the interrupted conversation was re-
sumed and kept up until 9 o'clock. We
went off to bed with Uncle Billy saying:
Tell We what I'll dew. III trade
fur three dollars tew boot"
1t Numbered about midnight, and /
woke up and heard that mule talk still
going. At 6 o'clock l got up. Uncle
Billy was just riding away.
well, how did you come Out?"
asked of our host.
BEAT him down to two dollars and
three bits" he replied. t
$50 you saved two shillingsp"
Exactly, though / wasn't working
for that 1t was the principle of the
thing which looked att Detroit Free
Press.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
Don't OyerdO IL.

A glib tongue is not one of earth's
rarities, yet it is not every possessor of
it tnat understands how to manage the
jolly proprieties of table talk. To rat
tie through it with credit 10 himself
and prtit to his fellow que stS, he must
know what and when to speak and how
to take graceful advantage of any gap
in the conversation--indeed, to pre-
vent the occurrence of any. To do
this without the appearance of obtru-
sion or vanity or risking the reputation
of q chatterer. constitutes the art of ia
ble-talk. The dinner-giver-we mean
him who selects his guests with the
knowledge that the success of his dim
ner will depend in great measure up
on their conversational powers-under-
stands that it is not essential that all
the company should be accomplished
table-talkcrs. Expedicnce does not al
ways allow this, and, if it did. the result
would not be entirely desirable. Good
listeners, whether ut the table or else
where, are as indispensable as good
takers. for, the jest or the story owes
the life of its success more to the ear of
him who hears than to the tongue that
speaks it. Therefore an over-abun-
dance of good takers at banquet
would result in their being in each 9TH
er's way, and, like trees too thickly
planted, the luxuriance of all would be
lost In a company Of twenty. five
ought to be sufficient Ito set the table
in a roar and keep it there. The
Caterer
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

adjoining a gibbet began to take pos
session of them. They voluntarily
confessed that they were the MAJ auders
who had startled De Caper ami his
companions, and begged for mercy. ex-
tenuating their cripae by describing the
acuteness of their hunger, ana pledg-
inc themselves to yay for the damage
as soon as they reuurned to New Am
sterdam.
Hendrickson spent the remainder of
the night in looking up his frightened
companions. and the masqueraTing
Dutchmen lost no time in getting away
from the scene of their depred;aions
The young PATRON who had made such
excellent time on the road back tor rau-
lein Wilhelmina acquired the quality
of a hero in that young lady's eyes
and had his hopes crowned with sue
cess; and so, after all, nothing very
serious came of De Oeper S scare.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
A Masterly Effort.

A man came rushing into the office
of We scribe and Pharisee. wearing a
sinister expression cut bias, with seal
lops around the edges, and demanded
in voice of thunder and lightning:
us the editor imp
''ls il any of your BUSINESS
''Yes, sir. Be you the man?"
81 am the guilty wretch"
did you write that?' placing his
finger upon an article we had dashed
of at an odd moment.
Il think / did. In fact, I'm sure
did. What of it?'
well, said he, the pitch dropping
from his voice in great chunks, at
was mssterly effort. "-Goodalrs Sun.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
A Yankee and a Sou;,tter.

A religious-lookiBg traveller stopped near
the roadside and began to talk to an Arkan-
saw man who was engaged in building a
sort of house.
what are you doing my friend?"
"Buildin' church,
"You are not building it alone, are you ~
'Do you see anybody he'pin' me?'
II mean, are you the only man engaged
in the good work."
AN l axed you eff You seed anybody
eIse.n
"Oh, pshaw man"
That's what l say"
"Have you done all this work?'
mo, every man in the neighborhood
takes turn at it."
Aren't you afraid that pole will fall up
there?'
mo, It won't fall up thar. Eff it falls,
it'll fall down here. Never seed nOthin'
fall up"
what will this church be when it's
done?'
"Itu be finished"
"Of course. / mean what sort of a
church,"
Log"
"You certainly understand Inc. What
denomination"
Methodist, Baptist and Democrat"
"You seem to mix religion with your
politics."
mo. we mix politics with our relijun."
"You are doing pretty good work, but 1t
does seem to me that the pole is going to
fall"
Reckon not"
"Your Judgment may be better than
mine, but / think the pole is insecure.
Have ySs any schOolhouses this COM
mo, i haven't"
Il mean are there any school houses
here"
"Yas, thar's one, but old Nat LEVER
whipped the teacher. turned him out an
hung up his terbacker in the house"
Vel, l declare"
"Say?"
wall"
You'd better fix that pole.''
Il amt got nothiD' 20 do with II"
ITS going to fall, or your judgment is
better than mine."
w mar You fr0mY'
Massachusetts"
AN thought you'd come down to civil
lilation, eh?'
No thought I'd come down and teach
you fellows something. Why didn't you
turn the other side of that log OutT'
Because we turned 1t in"
well, want to know why you make
the roof so fat?'
80 the chillun can climb up on it an 60
to sleep durin' preachln'."
well declare"
That's whut say"
"Say?"
WALL"
Il amt satisfied about that pole. 1t"
Just at that instant the pole fell and
cracked the Yankee on the head. When he
got up-whIle his face was lighted by
mlrthless and painful grin. the squatter
said:
shake, podner, your Judgment was
better'n mine"
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
he Knew What That Meant.

A Congressman's daughter had been
receiving q young mans attentions I'M
til the father thought it was time he
was knowing something about il. Gee
lestine," he said last night, when the
young man was announced, isn't it
about time some definite conclusion was
being arrived at in this matter?"
Quite time, papa" she replied in q
matter-of-fact way. "Well, daughter,
is there any prospect of q conclusionP'
Il can't say. really, papa. You see he i,
on the calendar as unfinished business,
and" Enough, daughter. enough"
he interrupted. putting up his hands.
and the girl went down stairs to COM
plete the quorum, . Washington Critic.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
The Delicate UtufpDs of ,bo ,o,

Ine DesIcate Lin1Dgs of the nasal pas-
saees are very susceptible to injury, hence
the prevalence of Ca arrhal affections. Hay
Fever. Cold in the Head, ~. The severe IGN
remedy is Ey's Cream Balm. Pleasant a. d
easy to use, II opens the passages cleans, $
them of virus and heals the milan, mem
brace. 1t cures the most obstinate cases
Price 30 cents, at druggists. 90 cents by mail.
Ely Bros, OwegO, NY.
Rev. n. II. Fairall, ID. ID, editor of the
iowa Methodist, says editorslly in the Noyem-
Der lSSjl number of his paper: 1--WE have
tested the merits of Ely's Cream Balm and
believe that. by n thorough course of treat.
ment, II will cure almost every case ofCatarrh.
Ministers, as class. are afflicted with head
ana throat troubles, and CatArrh seems MOI e
prevalent than ever. We cannot recommel d
T. Us Cream Balm too highly" Not LIQUID
nor snuff. Applied to the nOstrils with the
finger.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
An Important Arrest.

The arrest of suspicious character upon
his general appearance, movements or com.
paniOnship, without waiting until he has
robbed traveller, fired house, or murdered
a fellow man, is an important function of a
shrewd detective. Even more important is
the arrest of disease which, ii not checked,
will blight and destroy human lhe. The
frequent cough, loss of appetite, geDer-
al languor or debility, pallid skin, and bodily
ache, and pains, announce the approach OF
pulmonary consumption. which Is promptly
arrested and permanently cured by DIR.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery" Sold
by druggists
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

OLD Jill boxes are spre I'D over the land by
the thousands after having been emptied by
suffering humanity. What q mass OF sicken-
ing, disgusting medicine the poor stomach
has TO contend with. Too much strong medi.
cine. Prickly Ash Bitters is rapidly and
surely taking the place OF all this class OF
drugs, and is curing all the ills arising from
a disordered condition of the liver. kidneys,
stomach and bowels.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

did you say that man was a musiciang'
asked BOosley, pointing to an individual
who was just passing.
Yes, am quite certain that he played
the trombone
"Played tue trombone% exclaimed Boos-
ley i'm amazement "why in thunder didn't
they mob him before the disease had time
to spreadW Indianapolis Herald.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

Mr.. HOwellS says the home of fiction i, to
be America. Mr.. Howell has evidently been
Ieauing the newspaper accounts of StOImS
IN the West, where mules were lodged on
the tops of tOur-Story trees and hailstoncs
fell "as large as pumpkins" And yet We
don't suppose the newspapers would eXag.
gerate about little thing like that. Nor
ristOwn Herald.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
81 Don't Want Relief. Hut Cure.Y

Is the exclamation of thousands suffering
from catarrh. To all such we say: Catarrh
can be cured by DR.. Sage's Catarrh Rem
edy. 1t has been done in thousands of
cases; why not in yours? Your danger is in
delay. Enclose a stamp to Worlds Dispen-
sary Medical Association, Buffalo, n, Y,
tor pamphlet on this disease.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
In the Country all Summer.

The man who takes his family into the
country for the summer should remember
that he will save his children great deal of
pain and himself large amount Of money
in doctors bills, if he is thoughtful enough
TO carry supply of PERRY DAVIS PAIN
KILLER. The medicine is a standard speci-
fic for all cases of cramps, collie, cholera
mOrbus, diarrh9a, or dysentery.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

The Atlanta Constitution saws "the mule
is useful, but it is not handsome" In view
of the fact that handsome is that hand
some does, we feel the criticism of our
contemporary to be both unphilosOphical
and unjust to large class of the citizens of
this country. Lowell Citizen.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

A gentleman entered telegraph office.
Il beg pardon, but as was coming along
this afternoon / saw myriads Of flies settled
upon your wires. Can you suggest any ex-
planaIiOnr" About what time was il, sir?"
About four O'clock" "Ah! that accounts
for it; that's the time l send the quotations
for sugar and honey" French Joke,
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

Harsh purgatve remedies are fast giving
way to the gentle action and mild effects Of
Carriers Little Liver Pills. If you try them,
they will certainly please you.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

Weak lungs, splitting of blood, cOnsump-
ton and Kindred affections, cured without
physician. Address for treatise. with 10
cents in stamps, Worlds Dispensary Med
ical Association, 663 Main Street, Buffalo,
N Y
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

A correspondent writes to ask if musi-
clans live as long as the average person.
Well, Innocence, they sometimes do if the
next door neignbOr happens to be a very
bad shot. Yonkers Statesman.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

The hour hand of the gigantic clock which
Is to be placed on the tower of the Philadel
phia City Hall will travel about six and half
feet In an hour. They made the clock big
enough to allow the hand tokeep pace with
the Inhabitants OF the tow. -Roehsster Pot
EwrHa
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

The Yonkers Statesman tells of Western
composer who has been trying to set a hen
to music. This must be heavy contract,
but it is easy enough to set saw to music.
Lowell Courier.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

1t is an open question which is the more
distracting place TO be in, boiler factory
or the city of Milan, where 800 American
girls are taking music lessons. Dansville
Breeze
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

If you want to gain a very fair impress
sion of how japanese tom-tOm orchestra
sounds you need only listen to concert by
one of the local bands. New Haven News.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

You mustn't squeeze Inc so, Charley"
"A man must live up to Ills belief, my
precious. Don't You know I'm member OF
the Press Club? Boston Budget.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31
Biiiousness, Dizziness, Nausea, Etc,
Are relieved by CARRIERS LITTLE LIVER
PILLS.

The mules hind leg il the earliest form of
the boycott yet discovered, and, at latest adj
vices, the most effective. Boston Trans
cript.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

The poor but despised mule is homely
but useful animal, which is one point more
than can be scored by dude. Hartford
State Journal.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

For the Blood, Nerves
And Complexion, use CARTER's IRON
PILLS.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

If afflicted with Sore Eyes use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell 1t. 25
Cents
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

Halls Hair Remover is cooling TO the scalp
and cures all itching eruptions.
For egue, bilious, fOtermittent, break-bone,
and swamp fevers, use Ayers Ague Cure
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-07-31

The mule has the full allowance of verte-
bIR in the backbone. There are times when
it has more than full allowance of bray.
Boston Post