New-York tribune., 1886-04-04
NFw.yoRK DAILY TRIBUNE SUNDAY APRIL lsseTwELvE PAGES

mortality OF Russia which higher that that OF
other country In Europe. commission has advised
the OF central administration Of medical con-
tho public health For population OF ninosy
millions there are In Russia only 5000 medical men al.
together, many OF whom are very ignorant In the
month OF January last there 104 deaths than
births In st. Peersburx Nothing like this enormous n-
OF deaths births has, 1t is said ever been
met with any other city OF Europe.
Massachusetts church recently held "gander air.
"gander fair where all the articles on SAFE are
the work OF the sternor sex We didn't suppose that
the would make such geese OF themselves
as to build wishbone dolls, seven-cornered pincushlons
and things lNorrstown Herald
Tho dear and worthy OF Episcopal parish in
Connecticut wishing to write tho beauty OF
long life, to q far distant neghbor who
past ninety TO get from him hint OF the secret Of
his many years lie told the old man his errand and tho
nonagensrian made answer thus: "Well don't know
ez can tell exackly how is; when five year old
s'pose had the worst temper ever o young un was
cussed with" "Yes. yes" said tho rector intenty.
swell s'pose from tnat day this there amt ben
day aint ben mad about suthn. This mornin' things
aint gone right with me and I'm gttin madder and
madder that calf gtn' into the wagon-house ana
chcwin' up the saddle cloth shell hey to begin TO
smash round and right and II you're the par
SON" "Good morning friend" said the parson
with inward disturbance and only faint hope OF read
justing his mind to his sermon.
Really but 1t looks as though the Republic were tot
terng To its fall. One OF the papers speaks OF inc
"strancd relations existing between two officers or
the Massachusetts militia! Great Cesar but this thing
Is becoming serious.-lBoston transcript
1t is rumored that the peach growers are beginning to
Shake their heaGs omnously; they fear they have dis
covered some signs Of the deadly disease known as
yellows." 1t is about time to discover something
II is said he laughs best who laughs last This may
be true. but it Is always regarded "a sign that he
doesn't get tbr hang OF joke quick as the man who
laughs first. Boston Courier
A friend came recently and asked If we would
accept the nomination for Justice Of the Peace II 1t was
'enderei. We felt hatterei. and have taken up more
room on tho Sidewalk since We saw that we were ap'
precatei but nevethcless fe called up'n 20 refuse De
cause really had suitable place to keep the nom
ination and knew we could not got it anyway Este-
line (Dak0 Bell
KEEP OUT OF DfDr.
with the usual intricaces OF English orthographyl
Aman in debt
No rest Will gebt
Until he's in the tomb.
His will weigh
So heavy theigh
VIII shroud his life with glomb.
He'll practise guile;
And never smuile;
His head with pain will ache;
Hen grieve and sigh
And dgh
And thus his troubles shache-
He'll have more fone
Than any king that reigns;
He'll feel benign;
His health is ign
And he long life attclSns-
without doubt
All keep OuOt
OF debt II only
Will never buy
TO please the etly
And cash down always pey
i lH. &. Dodge IN Detroit Free Press
Some mere lncn in the cllbs discussing the ques-
ton whether ladies' bOnnes for the coming season are
to represent the animal o the vegetable kingdom.
"I -ay ma" shouted Jimmy ruGhoy, ali the feilsrs
is comm stilts. Gimme quarter To get pair r.
"No my son. Your father does not approve OF any
one walking on stills
You bet don't. Didn't hear him call Old Bathcr-
skite a stIlted Old fool the other day"
"Sh! You shouldn't say such things
81 didn't say IL. Pop i'd Hartford Post.