Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-02-08
BRIGHT BITS.

ELIZABETH STUART PHELPS has written a
new serial entitled Burglars in Paradise"
Inc gates must nave been a. ar again.-BOst0n
THE DECISION Of the courts in Utah is
sPoken OF as "a blow at poysamy." But
blowing won't crush it. II will require some
thing OF the energy OF pile driver to knock
polygamy out.-At6any Argos.
STAGE MANAGER-"I say, Crooks, YOU must
make your entrance on the right instead Of
Crooks Qhe super)-"Great 'eavens! More
studyr-S0aa.
THE Philadelphia Times thinks the women
need more sense in dress. II Is the dollars
hey need, dear boy, not cents, which you
ought to know II you are a married man -
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Az EASY WRITER.-"He is a good writer"
''He Is indeed"
He writes 30 easily, too"
II should say 80. It's no trouble for him at
All: lie does all his writing with one hand"
Puck.
chime for the chul CHI. What would you rec
OmmeudE"
Parshoner who lives next door TO the sa
Budget.
FRENCH JOKE: Baluchot is extremely
hckle. \ friend to whom he had announced
lis marriage q fprtnlght before meets him.
Are you still mArried" .-,..
''le fte
with the same oneg" pa
4 BOSTON pEAIER in fruit telegraphed an
Ohio fruit-raiser the other day:
"Wlll you send me 80 barrels Of apples and
guarantee against freezingsp
Ihe Ohio man promptly replied: s1g
Cant nlt your order, ~ IhaYe only As bar
rels OF frozen app es on hand. Shall / send
thoseF"- wall Street Neies. -t
TIE WIND is always tempered to the shorn
Hmo. In tRe bleak climate Of st. Paul, where
an editor would naturally freeze to death sew.
eral times each WI otter, Kind Providence IN
warm him NJ. one paper W that city has
fourteen such su -, and the editor works in
his SHIRT sleeves on the coolest lays.-Ppce.
WHEN Dick T1ofapson. OF Indiana, was
made secretary OF the Navy some one called
IN Mrs. Thompson to congratulate her upon
her husbands elevation TO the head Of the
savy Department. She could hardly believe
that the ne US WAS true. and said to her visit
n: 'Why, Richard. isn't lit To be secretary
4 the Navyi he can't even swim. "-DetrOjt
@res Press. .a-
YOUNG Won TRAMPLANDT DE LAFAYETTE
NTH JOINS, particularly juvenile dude, Is
A music maniac. but a tender- earted and
oit-yoiced little fellow. Wagner" he eX-
-laim4; Divine Wagqer! " hat genius! fits
''Bosh!" says -, ander. "a kick well
applied would have the same effect on you"
- d0Dted frOHa the Freaeh-
Oh, I'm king and an emperor proud
y lord and Il pfincely peer.
And a sovereign bOld-Nith power untold
And wealth galore year.
| dwell in a block, pay no rent,
I'm chief and autOcrat.
And We" ~ the man who comes under my
Pm janitor in a hat.
Brooklyn Union.
"YOU are stOckhOlder In the Cross Cut
failroal, sirS' he asked.
81 am" said the stOCknOlder.
Il have new device Tor registering money
receipts that lays over any"
"Nes, sir, but our present system is per-
fecty satisfactory. Our conductors cRnnot--"
Excuse me, but my invention has nothing
to do with conductors. It is a protection
against Presidents and Superintendents.
shall take char and explain 1t TO you?'
IF you will be so kind" said the stock
hOlder.-Lge.
ONE NIGHT Bob fell in with fellow who
was English. you know" The latter was
berating the Yankees for doing NIL manner OF
business in their shop and not following he
better English plan of sticking 10 one branch.
The next day he staggered int BVb's shop
20 be shaved. Bob gave his face an extra
good sOaping and left him, at the same time
seating himself to read. The EnglishmAn
kept quiet for a few minutes. when, seeing
BOB reading, be blurted out, "Why don't you
shave me. sir?"
You will have TO go up street for your
shave" quietly replied the barber, 1--WE only
lather here" The answer took the vim ont
Of the cOckney.- Boston TrdnscriDt.