Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-09


"MIsFoRTUNEs never come singv," re-
marked Jones, when a young man sat down
10 play his own mpaniment to a song
Huntington critic.
The LEGEND "Do not touch the crank while
1t Is In notion" which appears on messenger
cal b'Xe' refers 80 the machine and not to
the boy who Answers the call. He is never
perceptibly in notion Boston P0,t.
FATHER-IN- LAw-Perhaps, sir, YOU think
I'm going 10 support you for the rest of your
ma ural life.
son-in-law-weu. / don't know why you
shouldn't | took your daughter of your
hands.-Tj1- Bits.
''DO YOU KNOW what time it js?" asked a
passenger on the elevated road OF stranger
at his side.
~ lie :" replied the other. after glancing at
his watch. and he resumed his paper.-TJd-
BITS.
A WESTERN FARMER, being out Of shot.
poured a box OF pill5 INTO his gun. and kIlled
one roo0er and seriously wounded an accom-
piice. The physician who prescribed the pills
should not ne arrested because they caused
the death Of man.-NoJgiSt0,CR Herald.
CYRUS W. FIELD says he told inquring
frieuUs in New Norg that he should he back
about Ju'y Ar. lie probably intends a.
n time TO ask for an Investigation Of the
motives OF q WASN'T & on in saving his cOdn-
try when b. Arnold 'uld hay- SOLD out to the
highest bid ,er.-Bosto1 Conmerci1E Buletja.
BERsEKER just from the city)-Going to
make maple sugar en- Well, by jolly, Pm
Just IN tine. kr-nay go into the woods and
see now Il Is DONE
Aunt-Ge-. / guess so.
Berseker-Whend do you begin al it,?
Aunt-Just rs soon as your uncle gets back
from the village with the glucose I'D Biz.
! THINK yo6hg Mr.. Fitzpercy is a very
KIND hearted ma - remarked Mrs. Fangle.
"lndee - replied her husband
~ es. h. Is so kind to his uncle"
An! What has he done 10 hI ~
why, one cold day last month I saw him
on the street with no OvercOat on, and told
him he ought not to come out 50 unurof ertpd
and he said he had let his uncle have his coat
l suppose his uncle was too poor to buy one
ana when | see young man so tn uEhtful
about his relations know he is kind-heart-
ed."-PtttNburg rhr0atcIs.
JUDGR-What have you got to say for your
self2"
Prsoner-Your Honor. I'm a stranger in
the city on visit. The cod must have af-
fected-
Judse-Drunk! Ten do lars or ten DAYS.
Prlsoner-But, your Honor, l have no
money.
Judge-O, a vagrant. Two months
Prisoner getting srared)-Pray listeh, your
Honor! I'm no yagrant!
Judge lgr wing mpatientl-Well, If you
can't pay your fine send for some Of your
frendr.
Prisoner-But have no friends here
Judge waving bis handJ-Ah. a tramp!
Six mOnths.-Tld-Bi Bits.
THE Fox AND THE hAREs.-A Fox who was
pa sing through the Forest one dav heard a
g'ett dispute among The Hares, and he turned
Aside to find several Of them Engaged in
Hard Knocks around a Burrow. Whats an
this Row abOut?" demanded Reynard as he
fell among them. 'Whv. sir. renlied one Of
the lIares, Our Father is Dead, and we can't
agree as 20 who shall Possess his Burrow s"
But 10 is large enough for al Of you" so
it is, but that settles a question of Fact in
stead Of Principle" ~ ell. III take the
Fact ant you can keep the Principle" "a d
the Fox as he took Possession of the Burroy
Moral-When the Heirs Fight over the old
Homestead the Lawyer comes to own the
Farm.-Detroit Free Press.