The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-02-13
ABOUT MoZ ARTS BoYHooD,
BY WADE wHIPPLE.

lie has very good authority for this im- pression, and yet devoid of the data which has recently fallen into my pos session, the public has no proper con- ception of he marvellous nature of Volt. gangs adolescent tunefulness. Without giving away my informant who, by the way, is one hundred and seventy.eig years old, and would have died long
 since but for the obligation that is upon him to inoculate this gener ration with some gospel statements about Mozart's pre-. 1iousness, the following facts may be safely absorbed as wholly soluble with
 whatever history of Germany's musical prodigy the world has undertaken to as- s,milate: When John Chrysestmus
 Wolfgang Theophilus Mozart was nine days old, and had been supplied ~ith the trade mark he was expected to stagger under, he realized that it was necessary to do something enormously erup,ive in order to work his way from beneath this ponderous titular encumbrance. His genius was of nature to discern that it would be loss of time for him to ricochet in the family cradle while there was such an emphatic handicap on his business card, and kicking off the afghan that held
 him down, he walked over to the bomb proof compartment where his father kept the accordeon, and before the police had time to arrest him, composed and venti- lated that sterling anthem See that my Crave kept Green"
 The family were so greatly shocked at this upheaval of melodious grandeur tha the regular physician was asked to tor mulate his commitment to the insane asylum, but before the virus of this pre- cocity had vitiated the sanitary system of Germany, Wolfgang had entered upon his second month. About this time he made the acquaintance of Con. Gusto, a young Irish piper, (the only piper he ever took into his confidence, except piper Heidsieck), and he, with Ben Marcato prevailed upon him to run over and skimmerton Brigham Young, who had just been sealed to his seventy eighth af- 6nity. On the way they met Al. Segno, who insisted on their going back, and when they had aequiesced and returned to the nursery, the boys were amazed to see Wolfy chisel zylophone out of the slats ot his cradle and play Little But tercup," with tin rattle obligato. or course this drove his friends into hermi- tage, but he wasn 10 aesome, for Hermes Trismegistus walked in from Egypt with the advance sheets of little Tyre he had just carved out, and to have heard Wolf gang Theophilus play on that instrument with his toe would have impressed you not only with the belief that he was dis eipie of Plato, but that he had inherited a valuable business trait from his father, the latter being frequently called upon to perform upon liars with the same effect i've promoter of the accelerando move ment.
 When John, etc, etc., ct. al., had at. tained to the age of four months, Richard Ceur de Leon came to see the old man about going over to Palestine with him to fiddle the "' Carnival of Venice" and variations for the s lracens (hoping there by to drive them into the Red seal, and going out hastily he Jeff his brass hel- met On the buffet. We hadn't got be yond the Baton office before he missed the gew-gaw, and returning to the house, imagine his surprise ct finding that young Mox art had already transformed it into a brass band, which was that very moment anchored on the stationary wash tub in the kitchen, playing some morceaus from the M,kado." Richard was moved to tears so was Wolfey, but not until his father had removed him to the nursery and tattooed him with the "Anvil Cho- rus"
 Time sped on apace. Chrysostomus managed to totter his firm name through few more moons, and crossed the threshold of his second year with his pre- cocity still Aosh and not the least frayed On the edges. Meanwhile he had com. posed Handel's " Messiah" Shumann's Heel and Toe Polker," and Waguer's Grandfashers Clock" much to the de light of the alleged authors, the former of whom resigned from his mansoleum for while that he might run over and thank young Mozart for his grand out burst of origin ality. Thu enthused the young musician to such an extent that he ataem pted to compose Bach's "Venuch uber die Wahre art das klavier xa Spiel en-" but the title stuck ia his throat and ssrangled the inspiration. Shortly after this Elmore Hotchkiss and Polk Miller were gunnmg in the neighborhood Of SAlsbourgh, and having flushed covey of Lynhaven oysters, they followed the trail till it led to . fete champetYe that the French had dropped In their scat tered dehiscence from Sedan, and, b and behold you, there they discovered the young Mozart, sitting in baby jumper and playing an olio of Greco R om an airs on . Dobson banjo that the prodigy had just invented. As the olio was made up m0<tiv 0f fnlk snnOs of EfAAre the hovs interred that it must have heen the origi- 1al oleomargarine.
 Need go further in this biography to prove that "trush is stranger than 6c- ti0a2' Shall certify to you how. on the completion of his second year, our here valked over to Scandanavia and presented that people with a national hymn he had incubated in . moment of frenzy, and which was 90 warm and of such burning texvor as to make the ScAlds admit that shey had really never been scalded be-