Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-22
Clean Up.


At last the gloomy reign Of old
King Winter is broken and Gentle
Spring comes tripping in upon the
scene, bright with the joyousness OF
an awakened beauty, and radiant with
the glorious warmth of the golden
sunshine, starting forth into fresh.
ness and beaaty1h welcome verdure
of a thousand hills, and making those
dead COWS in Carp Lake stink ike the
other end of creation. : :
And that reminds us, of The "ofal
hole" back of-hotel and the sun
dry, divers, numerous and various
holes, pits and smell pills around this
beautiful city of Colby, which looks
like the dickens and smells like sin.
As we remarked in the beginning
the sun is getting up and very soor
now its glorious and heating rays viii
make things hump and gather in this
country, and it behooves the clear
citizens of Colby, county of Thomas,
S. S. to take time by the front hair
and the makers and maintainers OF
the aforesaid garbage piles by the
summer kitchen of the pantaloons and
lnaugurate a cleaning up process here
which will make our town look as il
decent people lived here or herea-
bouts, before one-half the people are
sick, and the other half not well
enough to get up, on account of the
beastly effiuvia arising from this
nasty ard uncalled for condition of
things.
The good book says that no un-
clean thing shall enter tie kingdom
Of Heaven, which drives all the citi-
zens Of Colby, when they die, into
the realms Of the "Bogie Man" who
lost his original habitation by the new
revision, but who will probably make
It hot enough for the unclean and
nasty sinners, if the new town is
named Hades.
Think not, Oh! county attorney,
that there will be no Hell for you if
you sit calmly by with folded hands,
and allow all the good strangers who
are unfortunate enough to have noses,
TO be driven out of our town by the
lideous and uncalled for, demon of
stink.
Dream not, you makers of these
nasty filthy disease holes, which the
bright and beautiful sunshine, is caus-
ng to ill the air with pestilence, that
you can ever enter the pearly gates.
With such a depth of smell upon you.
nice place Heaven would be, after
l lot of you had been there a week in
warm weather, throwing your potato
oealings, and old meat, and nasty
'lop out into the golden streets,
ior the barefooted Angels to step in
%, and fall down and break their
1arps, and probably get sent back to
Oshkosh for profanity. A pretty
pack yard to the celestial palace you'd
make wouldn't you, with your old
OYSTER cans, and your old corn cans,
md your old tomato cans, and your
,ean cans, fruit cans, milk cans, and
Ill the other canister production of
wo horse hotel
Rouse up, Oh! Health officers and
.ause this nastiness to be swept off
he face of the earth, before the
weather. gets too hot, and the oder too
tense, and our stage lines, in justice
o their patrons, have to stop outside
# town and pass the spring clothes
bins, saying. Gentlemen we are about
o enter the celebrated and nasty
own of Colby, where dead animals
niger in the streets and alleys, and
Jack yards are rife with rottenness,
'pidemic and death. Please put
hese clothes pins tightly upon your
lostrils and breathe. as little as posi-
lie until we get through this valley
f the shadow of dead COWS bones and
IL the thousand things that dirt is
leir to.
Clean up those sore places, in our
otherwise beautiful city before it is
'verlastingly too late, and some I'M
victim is ushered by con-
aglon into the great and mysterious
,eyond with a smell upon his gar
nents which will cause good old St.
'eter to close and doublebar the pear
Y gates in haste and send one of the
'oys, out after the camphor bottle,
Thile the man outside has to 90 down
o the iron works. Clean up. Clean
p.
THE OLD MAN.