The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1886-01-06
SELECTED.
HALF A PIG.
Too Much Lard In tho Larder.
A NEW LEAF IRON TIE LIFE OF PoKI-
LAND FAMILY.

/
! ter"
That's precisely what's coming" re-
| piled Brunette. CHANGING out at the dull
/ November sky, and the dismantled gard
en-, where only foliage, albeit somewhat
/ thinned and rusty-ait would be folly to
expect anything else at this time Of year.
The mother was silent for few min
utcs, still with the air Of having an un-
spoken burden ON her mind-but she
| presently said, YES, | had the winters
coal put Ii yesterday, and to-day made
another trade"
Then I'm pretty sure you have been
cheated" said brunette, promptly, 81
never knew you To get the best end Of a
bargain In my life"
! That's because I'd rather be cheated
than to cheat" said the equable woman Z;
lit isn't so much work, and then some
how it leaves one feeling more comfort
able-at least | feel sure that the remem-
| brancc of having cheated anybody would
worry nv life out. But I'm not afraid
have been cheated in the present case.
| I'm only afraid shall get more than
want in my purchase. The fact is con
tinued she. almost blushing, "Mrs.
| Brown came in here this morning, and
| wheeled me into engaging half pig.
''Iiaf pig" echoed Lrnnette, amazed
-" what-which-ho large pigI What
kind of pig
THE common pig Of New England. |
suppose replied the mother "she didn't
say it was anything unusual. The kind
that people use for saus 'ges, bacon,
chops, and sparc-ribs | presume. She
says it is cheaper and everywaV better to
buy meat in bulk and Of somebody you
can trust, and"
1T ism t generally the seller who wants
to be trusted" continued Brunette. aside.
And she said she was going to buy
nice pig from a good old farmer over on
the Cape, if she could get some one to
take half of it. and So
And so that silyer-tongued woman has
persuaded you into saddling yourself with
half pig?'
Il certainly didn't look at the trans
action in that light replied the mother
-"but see now that ought to have UNI
derstood more fully about the probable
size of the pig. How large is pig, any
way"
Il saw some in IIucksters' Row, the
other day, that were about as large as
cats" said Bob.
II saw some at the cattle-show that
were about the size of rhinoceri,' said
Brunette.
but those weren't pigs, Brunette, they
were hogs If Mis-. Brown had said half
a hog should have taken the alarm
1T would have been less trouble said
Brunette, I'D rather. any day, have
whole alarm than half pig What ever
can we do with it? None of us cares
much for pork, and don't know any
way to invest it."
'Oh, we'll" said the mother, trying to
se' III at case, though Il dreadful miSgivlng
was ynawing Mt her heart-"perhaps ITS
only small one. And we can have some
of it smoked for bacon, and we can man
age roast spare-rb | always thought
should like TO prepare some sau 'age-Ineat
myself, because somehow the Sau>agcs
one buys ready-ma E, have always the
same drawback with boarding house hash
YOU never feel quite sure what they are
made OF. But if 1t weren't for appearing
so tickled-minded and silly-shally in Mrs.
Browns eyes
THE eyes of other people are the eyes
which ruin us" quoted Brunette, SOFTLY.
IF ii weren't for seeming so childish
and vacilating," continued the mother.
Il would 90 over and ask Mrs. Brown to
let me off it, altogether.
IL don't see how You can be let off of
anything you're saddled with" said Bob.
And it's likely your half of the pig is al
ready killed. because | saw Billy Brown
starting for the Tape this noon, with
note in his hand-and he shook 1t at me
as he told me where he was going, anu
asked me if | ever saw n pigs death-war-
rant before. Now see what he meant.
Dear me !" exclaimed the mother, with
n look of guilt, land so have been, for
the first time in my life, the direct cause
OF the death of fellow-crcature!
"Why mother" said Bob. "a pig isn't
n fellow-creature,
don't be too sure about that Bob.
said his sister.
"Why, Brunette" said Bob with
emotion, 1.-the boys at school would hit
me over the head, if / should tell them
they are the fellow-creaturcs of pigs"
Don't tell them. them" said Brunette
keep it to yourself and rejoice in know
ing more than they do
Brunette" said the mother, Solemnly,
few evenings later, AS she met that
Young lady at the door on her return
home that half a pig has come
"Alone?" asked Brunette, with ostcnSi-
BILE amazcmcnt and horror mo wonder
you look pale"
Brunette" said her mother sadly,
were you ever serious in your lifc:'
YES, twice" promptly responded Bru-
nctte, "oncc when went to the dentist :,
and once when applied for position as
assistant on newspaper. Don't tell me
there is going to be a Third o ca>ion"
But Brunette, do try TO help me Il lit
tie The half pig is a great deal more
than | expected don't know what on
earth to do with it. How could | know
it would b, as big as a hippopotamuS?'
LAS the old rule for cooking hare
begins First catch your hare. said Bru-
nette, Il suppose the rule for diSposing
of half pig must begin in the same way.
First catch your half Il pig The catch
ing, being apparently considered the
most difficult part OF the undertaking.
Now in this case, the most difficult part Is
already accomplished and that without
much excrtion on your part. Your half a
pig is already caught and
Il feel as though were caught, in
stead of the pig, said the worried moth
er. Just come down cellar and see
what a quantity of pork And down
went the three, Bob at the rear appro-
priately humming the air OF "Down
| among the dead men,
/ Il don't know how lovely he may have
/ been in his life but in his death he is GER
tainly pretty well divided" said Brunette.
! surveying the new acquisition. "Ther''ll
| be bacon enough to last as long as we
! live, besides"
But Brunette, here's half his head
toow
We'll, you didn't expect whole head
on half pig, did You? Not only have the
Maine grangers given up raising the two
| headed breed of pigs, perhaps because
they ate too much but when was at the
Fair grounds, it appeared to me that they
were trying to do away with even the one
small head that the ordinary pig is en-
titled to; expect to see 1t entirely elimi-
mated within few years more.
'But here are two legs and
Naturally, on half OF four-footed
animal" said Brunette The whole in
cludes all its parts, and in this case, so
does the half"
Il can't see how ever happened to do
it," said the mother, walking round the
remains in sort OF funeral procession
of one, and wringing her fingers in as
much apparent remorsc and distress as
though she had herself committed the
murder.
:" can said Brunette; ''it was be
cause of the winning ways Of that he
quilting Mrs. Brown, with her soft prett,
face and her rolypoly hugablness Sh'
always seems to me like kitten In dis
.uisc. I'm going to roll hall of yarn a