Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-09-15
PITH AND POINT.

A MAN who has a scolding wife says
he is going through the journey Of life
by rail.
SOME inquisitive person asks: "What
does man make by getting married2"
Well, he generally makes the fire.
Those men: think I'll run down
to Hastings for q change" "Take the
MISUSE" II said For chanse!'"
PRoF. JONES lectures on the "Use-
lessness of Profanity" Apparently he
never went fishing in the ant and mos
quito season. Boston Courier.
A 9-YEAR-oLD boy, just recovering
from the effects of vaccination, said:
"Now amt afraid of having the small
pox (after moments refection), but
may have the celluloid, though"
The Norristown Herald says, with
reference to avoiding old age: 'To die
young is an infallible rule" Yet the
paradoxical feature of this rule is that
people wait until they are prematurely
old before they dye young. TEXAS
SJtings.
In reply to the question, "What is
meant by the heated term?'" we
would remark that "Go to blazes."
Thunder and lightning" Fire EN-
out!" etc, are all heated terms of more
or less adaptability to the demands of
eloquence.- Tonhers Gazette.
"a woMANs REASON"
A woman's reason? l explain
The mystery of the laws
Which dominate the female brain,
The wel-spring whence she draws
Tbsa Nh rpfr
Tempt not thy fate, but pause?
Know, dotard, that thy quest is vain;
And be content, adventurous swain.
With Obi because"
IS. ID. Osborne, in The Judge.
PoMPEY took little Ethel to see the
last batch of chickens making their
first appearance in the world. al won
der they've got the strength to break
their way out of the she'll" "Why, re
see, Miss Ethel" said Pompey, sagac-
iously, "dey makes mighty big effort
at last ease dey's afeard o bein' billed
if dey stay longer"
RULES FOR CouRTsHIP.
The youth who would pretty maiden WOO
VIII profit if he keeps these rules in view -
BE not preciptate, nor yet too slow,
Be not abashed at a rebuff or So
1T she ID unresponsiye, distant, cold,
The wooer must be decately bold
II she is timd dt1dent aud shy,
Don't fret-she'll find more courage by and by.
Let not her first refusal give distress
woman no is often meant for yes.
Boston Courier.
captain" said the assistant in
law Office rs the proprietor entered,
''here is bill from Legalblank & Co.
for some law books" "Those books
never came, and I'm not going to pay
the bill" But they write YOU a"
II don't care-Im not going to pay for
something | never got. What did you
say?" at commences Col. limerick,
Yankton, Dakota" "'Col.' JIM
crack is it?' Here's the letter, Cap
tain" "Well, we'll, that's so, sure
enough. Col. limerick don't sound so
out of place after all, does it? Well,
better send them the amount, l never
like to kick on small sum. -Estelline
Bell.
WHY THE NAME WAS CHOSEN.
TO village priest tender babe
Some rustic parents brought;
And laid their boy within his arms
In garments love had wrought.
"'Tis time we had the child baptized;
1t is for that we came"
We'll" said the rarson; with smile,
Pray, what shall be his name2'
"Oh, sir if you but view his face
You II see that for son
There S but one name that seemeth fit,
And that is Solomon"
But vainly did the parson seek,
In that sweet baby face,
The likeness to old 1srael's king
The parents claimed to trace.
Imagine, then, his great surprise,
For reasons more than one,
When thus the riddle they explained,
Hes such a solemn-'unl'
-Boston Transcript.