Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1886-07-09
THE LABOR QUESTION.

1t was Major w. Aug. Fonda, the scientist and
politician, who called upon City Justice Hunt
one day last week and stated that Lord Plunkett,
grand duke of the hay scales and renovator of
clothes, had suit of clothes belonging to him
, which he refused to return. The justice told the
major that he had better settle the matter with
Plunkett without getting into the courts, and act
ing upon this advice the worthy scientist and
linguist brought Plunkett into the court to talk
over the matter in quiet and friendly manner.
Nov, Plunket M worthy grand duke" quoth
the major in mild, bland tones, II have always
used you we'll, haven't I? Now, why don't you
return to me the clothes which mine by all the
laws of equity and personal rights?'
'Ah, ye divil, ye." replied Plunkett with a Mul-
doom twist of the neck. " fol- do yez not pay me
the six dollars for clainin' thim?'
but, Plunkett. m Lord. you should not charge
me six dollars for cleaning suit that cost me
only four dollars when new!''
''Phat do OF care. ye divil ye. as to the cost O.
the garmints? 'Tis the five dollars worth O. soap
an hours O labor that OF am fgurin' on, an bad
cess to yez, if it wuz not fer the fear that yez
would lit me kape the clothes, OF would charge
yez tin dollars instead av six, ye dlvil, ye.''
g@ THE GRAFTON.
Ladies and gentlemen: [Applause.] Once
more! Lapplause.] I say once more we come to-
gether to celebrate the greatest event in the
history of this revolving terrestrial mundane
Gods green footstool [cheers] upon which we
rest securely-free from green-eyed oppression,
[great applause] free from the CALLING chains of
tyranny! free from the cringing yoke of bigotry,
and last but not least free from the awful record
of our forefathers of the old world, and free to
travel under any flag, religion or nsme-yea re-
peat it-free to travel under any name which
suits our life, liberty and pursuit Of happiness.
[Huzzahsl And now, by the great eternal Gods
of patriotism and loyalty, free speech and free
beer, desire to call your attention to point of
vital and paramount interest to every one of you
and me, [applause.l Listen to the peels of yon
grand old man Lcheers] say listen to the peels
of his thunderous voice as it comes galloping
over the broad and billowy ocean like quivering
song of iberty-or giveIme DEATH! 8 death, yea
g death to the covering hypocrites whose cast
iron heel now rests upon the neck of Erin!
[Cheers for fifteen minutes.] Down with tyranny
in every shape and every form! Down with the
rod of cruelty that sways like mighty pendulum
over the billow-kissed gem of the
ocean, whose sons now stand in every
land and in every CLINE, holding with credit to
themselves and their country every Office and
:. from private citizenship down to statesman
ship. say shame, ten million shames, upon
government that would oppress these gallant
sons whose every thought vibrates with the cleo
tric current of liberty, which glistens like q
silvery thread in the pearly sunlight of an un-
bounded freedom, which reverberates through
glen and valley, and from rock to rock the
Chinese must 60! [Cheers and throwing of hats
Aye, they must go! Why should we throw down
the flood gates of our freedom? Why say that
one man is as good as another when he refuses to
become citizen, lives on six cents per day.works
for nothing! [Hear. hearl Hoards up his earn
ings and returns with vast wealth to the land of
the celestial realms where the idea of indepen-
dence has not permeated the breast
of the heathen who sits by the shores
of the rushing waters that bear to us
the white winged ships whose golden cargoes
float into our harbors, where the flag of the free
waves beautifully by the rock-ribbed mountains
that raise their towering heads like mighty mon
archs! Aye. / repeat it, monarchs must fall!
GCheers.l Free schools! Free trade! The proud
eyed eagle and A nerican independence must
live! While the inalienable rights of the poor
and needy are protected by the starry dome that
spreads from sea to sea, from pole to pole, for
ever and ever, alpha and omega! land of white
robed liberty, nlimitable resources! And az day,
an hour Of virtuous liberty is worth whole eter-
nifty in jail [Great applause.] XII.
Here the orator wipes his brow and thanks the
ladies and gentlemen for their kind attention,
while the boy ties bunch of lighted fireorackers
to the tail of his coat, the band plays, and the
cannon explodes.
20 naoduond 10 IN bava apythar nation q