davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
Work Saved by Type.Wrlling.

A man of letters in New York was
under contract with publisher to
write about $4,000 words. He had
prepared himself carefully for the
task, but the contemplation of its
manual labor tired him in advance
lie went to type-writer's Office down
town, where three or four industrious
girls were earning their living, and
learned that he could dictate to one Of
them at the rate of from 1900 to 5000
words. The noise of the clicking ma
chimes at first threatened to disturb
his efforts at original composition, but
before he had worked half an hour he
was used to it. The business of com.
posing and debating the $4,000 words
occupied about twenty hours each, OF
five or six days of three or four hours
each. At the end of each sitting he
left the office with the completed manu-.
script in his hand. The result was ac-
complished without fatigue, and Its
quality, he says, was unusually good
for him. He further testiIies that, fol
the first time in his life, he has 'real
izing sense" of what emancipation is
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
So LONDONDERRY, VT THURSDAY, JANUARY T. 1886.

man in the company, ann going on u
the last. When this division is con-
cluded the question is asked in stento-
rian tones: alas any one else a
claim?" and the customary mo" hav-
ing promptly been given, the men are
then dismissed. Each one now repairs
to the nearest tradesman's shop where
he exchanges his silver. For one tael
he receives l,600 small coins. perfora-
ted in the centre so as to allow Of be-
ing threaded on n string, and having
received the proper amount, turns
homewards with cheerful mien, but
nearly sinking beneath his burden.
The private receives three and half
taels, equal to about nineteen sbillings,
monthly; out of which he has to pro-
vide hismself with clothes and food.
This to US, no doubt, seems a very in
significant sum, hut we must remem-
ber that tho whole of Chinese sol
dier's subsistence only costs him about
one tael, for he subsists on rice, abso-
lutely nothing but rice. His clothes,
too, also cost but trihe. But 1t is
not pretended that a soldier can save
much out of such a slender income;
and it is invariably the case that when
the next payday comes round the poor
defender of the Celestial Empire has
not a cent in pocket. neither has he
had any for some days past, so quick
ly does money melt, even in those ce'
lestial regions. s.--Chronik der Zeit.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
A Vegetable Life DESTROYER.

The Judas tree is the great life de.
stroyer of the vegetable world. Long
before the leaves appear upon the
branches the gorgeous blossoms orna.
ment them, and they look like scarlet
sunbeams caught upon the boughs.
The brilliant beauty of the crimson
flowers attracts thousands of tiny in
sects. and the wild bees seek to draw
honey from their exquisitely shaped
cups. But every insect. bee or butter
fly that ventures to rest upon the edge
of its blossoms is overcome by fatal,
curious sort of opiate or sleeping
draught which the flower juice con-
tains. and drops dead on the ground
beneath.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
PRICE THREE CENTS.
Josh Billings and the Drummer.

The late Josh Billings was once on
passenger train bound for his old
home at Lanesborough, Massachusetts,.
On the train were several commercial
travellers, who, to while away the
time, proposed game of whist. !
fourth man was wanted, and a gentle
man sitting near was requested to tako
hand.
mo; I do not play. But there Is al
old fellow who is capital player; try
him"--po;nting to the "old fellow"
who sat demurely on the seat in front.
Good player, is he?" said the COM
mercial man. "Then We'll have some
fun with old Hayseed;" and accosting
the quiet, farmer-like passenger, the
young man, whose cheek was his for
tune, blandly said: "My venerable
friend, we would like to have you take
a hand in game of cards with us, just
to while away the time. Will yov
oblige us?'
Looking the young man in the face
/ moment, "old Hayseed" answered,
'Ya.as, We'll be there in abaout three
hours"
"You don't understand, my friend;
ne want you to take hand"
"Ya-as, the stand o corn is very
good handsome"
The commercial man was annoyed.
Speak little louder" suggested the
gentleman in the seat behind; "he is
somewhat hard of hearing"
:My friend !" shouted the young
'ellow. "will---you--take-a-hand-'
n--a-game?'
"Ya-as, game is uncommon plenty;
Ill you want is"
ooh, go to the deuce! You're as
leaf as post" and the man Of check
mbsided, amid the laughter of his
companions.
When Lanesborough was reached,
old Hayseed" arose to depart, when
ae quietly handed his card to the COM
nercial man, who sat glum in his seat,
ind in a particularly comical way re-
marked: Young man, when you trav-
II on your cheek, don't get hay-seed in
Iour eye Seer
The young fellow glanced at the
.ard. The superscription was-"Josb
BilliEgs."
Josh got off the train, and the man
If cheek had to find a seat in another
'ar to escape the "run" on him by his
companions. .-Harper's Magazine.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
A New Idea of Convict Labor.

1t is to remove the penitentiary to a
arm, which should be cultivated by
he prisoners and which could thus be
made to furnish them with supplies
Necessary for their sustenance. Here
llso the cloth could be woven for their
clothing and their shoes and hats man.
ifactured, the whole production being
:onined strictly to their needs, and
hus coming in nowise into competi-
ion with the products of honest labor
,ither in field or in factory. 1t is true
hat there would be some articles
which this system would not furnish
or the use of the prison. But these
,ould be procured in the following
manner: A sufficient number of the
.onvicts could be hired to the counties
lesiring their labor on the public roads
,or price that would pay for their
Keeping and also supply a fund for
he payment of prison officials. and for
he incidental expenses of the prison
tself. The farm, with its buildings,
Ihould be located near enough to the
.ity to make a dread of neighboring
strength sufficient to keep down
,meutes, but at the same time far
.nough away not to interfere with the
.ity's growth.-Richmond Va.) State
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
The Laugh was on the Clerk.

EFF it amt writin' an it amt
printin', wat kinder stamps do you
put on?" queried an urchin, whose
head barely reached to the window
ledge, at the postoffice yesterday.
The clerk at the stamp window
smiled at the youngsters question. and
winked in evident enjoyment at the
bystanders. Then he said:
"Sonny. suppose you've got third
class matter?"
81 Dunno" was the dubious reply.
The clerk laughed, and repeated his
winks at the interested spectators
who had overheard the dialogue.
"Well," he said finally, and mimick.
ng the boys manner, "ef it amt
writin' an it amt printin', I guess
We'll have to call it third-class matter
and send it along for you pretty cheap
What does it weigh?'
"Nuthin'." said the boy, as his
mouth stretched into grin that
threatened to fracture his ears.
"Nothing?" repeated the clerk.
"Yump," muttered the boy, reellng
his smile slightly.
In that case, then, sonny" said the
clerk, with hilarious animation, we'll
send your package through for moth
ing"
"Sure pop?" questioned the boy, as
he edged back little from the win
dow.
"Sure pop" repeated the clerk. 81
pledge the honor of the government.
Hand over the matter that weighs
nothing"
"uere it Is, mister and the boy
pushed an inflated toy balloon through
the window opening. "Mind yer, I'll
hold the gov'ment 'sponsible-yer said
So And then the boy and specta-
tors did the laughing and the winking,
and the clerk devoted himself to
chunks of language which weighed
more than the mailable four pounds
allowed by law.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
A Big Beard.

While in our Office one day recently
Sir. ]. G. Caldwell, of Towaliga, show
ed us his long and beautiful beard.
which he generally carries under his
clothes in such manner that people
do not notice it He only wears what
are known as chin whiskers. They
measure sc inches and reach to his
knees while standing erect He in
formed us that he had not shaved in
10 years, but at one time by accident
about u inches of them were burned
bff.-JackSois (Ga.l ArguS.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
A Chinese Military Pay Day.

The Chinese soldier receives his pay
once a month only, and Chinese
months, it may be remarked, are much
longer than these we are accustomed
to reckon by. On the eve of the pay
day, the captain of a company, togeth-
er with his sergeant major. goes and
receives the amount requisite to pay
his company, from his next superior
officer. This is not paid to him in
jingling coins such as we are accus-
toned to, for China possesses no coin
age but in pure silver, which, however
has been broken into somewhat irregu-
lar pieces. The whole of the night
preceding payday is occupied in
weighing out for each man the re-
quired ounces of silver, and this occu-
patton as may be easily imagined, is a
very tedious one, and only successful
ly accomplished by infinite care, for,
here piece the size OF pins head
has to be Clipped off, and there a
piece of larger dimensions has to be
added to make up weight, and any
deviation one way or the other means
the loss of perhaps days pay or more
TO some poor defender of the Celestial
Empire. When the process of melting
out is accomplished, the silver is then
carefully wrapped in paper. upon
which is written the name of the in.
tended recipient On the following
afternoon the company is mustered
and the sergeant-major divides thu
money, commencing with the first
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
HUMOROUS.

Auctioneers have a nod way of re.
eeiving bids.
The man who ought TO give you
fts"-Your tailor.
A misplaced switch - When the
wrong boy is whipped
We fail to see any difference be-
tween a travelling dress and Il walking
suit.
There is some hope for the dudes at
fast. A Sacramento man has Invented
a calf weaner.
A lovesick poet says that kiss is
tthe meeting of two souls.' Very
true, and it is protracted meeting,
too.
When young lady goes to church
certainly might be called sack -religi,
nus.
An old rounder says that paralysis
Is caused by canned goods 1t is also
certain that some Of it comes through
bottled goods.
Everything is adulterate nowadays
A Sanfranci5co man bought cork leg
and afterwards ascertained that it was
made Of paper.
"See, mamma !" exclaimed a little
girl, as she looked out of the window
during snow storm, "see the popped
rain coming down."
A woman who invariably looks
ander the bed before retiring is q
handy thing to have about the house.
She saves the expense of a burglar
alarm!
"May ] help you to alight?" asked
Jimson, politely, as Miss LIE Jones
drove up in her carriage. "Thank
you. | never smoke she returned.
coldly.
A woman in Georgia livel 4S days
on water and then died. Water is
pretty thin diet, for fact but we
know some sailors who have lived
nearly all their lives on water.
! On the door-plate of a st. Louis res
tdence may be read: Mrs. Gibbs,
elocutionist, poetess, washer and
ironer." The washer and ironer prob
ably support the clocutionist and
poeteSs.
81 have such an indulgent husband
said little Mrs. Doll. Eyes, 50 George
says responded Mrs Spiteful, quiet
ly; sometimes he jndulges too much,
doesn't hep They no longer speab
to each other.
Some one has estimated that the
time thrown away in this world in
courting the girl you want to marry,
and who is ready to marry you, would
build all the railroads and bridges and
tunnels and factories and public build
ings.
Lives of sweet girls all remind us,
/ AS we float down life's stream,
That the boys who come behind US,
VIII have to pay for lots of cream.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07

The Philadelphia Zoos manicure op-
Grated on the leopard Fannie recently,
and reduced her toe nails to a fashiona.
BILE length. The nails had grown so
long that they were burying them
selves in the balls of the feet, produc.
ing a serious lameness, accompanied
by irritating pain. The animal had
her feet successfully noosed and the
paws hauled between the bars Of the
cage, while a billet of wood was thrust
in her mouth for her to bite on,
Keeper Shannon extracted the sharp
nails from the inlamed feet, and Head.
keeper Byrne promptly clipped them
off close to the quick, after which the
handsome brute was released from ig-
nominous confinement.
The valuable chimpanzee has devel-
oped an unexpected knowledge Of dem
tistry. Despite his warm cage and the
care with which he is guarded from
draughts, he managed to catch cold
in his jaw, which resulted in tooth
ache. 1t was his first experience and
he did not like it. He picked at the
offending molar until, giving it an ex
ira hard pull, it parted with the gum
and came out. This was a notch
higher than the chimpanzee had ever
gone before. and, as he gazed at the
glistening tooth in his brown paw, a
look of anxious bewilderment spread
over his countenance, and his under
jaw dropped in helpless astonishment
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
American Indian Paintings.

The painted rock of Santa Barbara
county, California, is $50 feet high,
and upon it are many color paintings
in a good state of preservation that
are thought to be the work of Indians.
There are two caves in this giant rock,
one at its base and another some sixty
feet up, and in each of these are pict-
ures of animals.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
Tie Winter OF the Year.
1t is tho winter Of the year!

1t is tho winter OF the year
Ger buried flowers the snow riffs lie;
The storms have veiled with ashen gray
The blueness OF the summer sky.
No brooks in babbling ripples run,
No birds are singing in the hedge,
No violets nodding in the sun,
Beside the brooklet's frozen edge;
Yet unto lealless, lIoken boughs,
The greenest MOSES closely cling,
And near stern winters stormy verge,
SoG float prophetic airs of spring.
1t is the winter Of our life!
Ger buried hopes the snow riffs lie,
And storms have veiled with ashen gray
The blueness OF cloudless sky,
No light steps cross the threshold stone,
No voice of love our welcomes greet,
No gentle hand enclasps our own
With cordial salutations sweet,
Yet unto bruised and broken hearts,
Endearing words Of promise cling,
And float upon times stormy verge,
Bright blossoms of eternal spring.
Luther @. Riggs.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
Fooling with Edged Tools.

Il hear that little affair between
Iou and Miss Montrose is off, old
,oy?"
"Yes; she turned out to be CO
,uette, and 1 thought it was better to
,aw the thing off before it went any
further.
"Oh, that's it? However, you'd
better look out for her, because now
she's slighted she's more dangerous
han ever"
"How oyou make that out ?"
"Why, dom. you see, she il now a
sutlass.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
precious Memories.

Death cannot take the memories
OF those we love and cherish;
Their frames, which in the dust we lay,
To dust may crumble and decay,
Yet with US they themselves do stay;
They do not, cannot perish,
How potent are thy memories
They make blest bond Of union;
For oft before our gladsome eyes
The sweet familiar lorms arise,
And dearly do We love and prize
Those moments Of communion.
Immortal are the memories
OF those whom death hls taken;
We SEQ them, hear them, have them still,
Command thoirpresence at oar will,
The chambers Of our hearts they ill,
They have not us forsaEen.
-R. NJ. OB0rd.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07

Dry goods merchant-"You would
like place in my store. Mr.. Shaw
nut? Have you had much clerical
experience Mr.. Shawmut-"Well
no. The fact is am not q church
member.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07

Horses an Carriages at all hours. Persons
carried 10 all surrounding points upon arrival
Of trains. Special accommoda' ions TO excur.
zion parties. Good teams and attentive dIi
yeyy. "
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-03-23
MINERAL WEALTH.
The Vast Importance of the Americas
Mining Industries.

The Vast Importance of the Americas
Mining Industries.
1t will probably surprise many of our
readers TO know that the value of the
mineral substances taken from the
ground amounts. every year, to more
than four hundred million dollars. This
is not the selling value in market. but
that of the minerals or metals on the
spot where they are produced. The
total value in 1884 was about four hun
dred and thirteen million dollars. which
was less by forty millions than for that
for 1883. The chief items in this enor-
NOUS sum, were as follows: Coal, one
hundred and forty-four million dollars,
the average price at the mine being only
one dollar and thirty-three cents ton;
gold and silver, eighty million dollars;
brick and tile, thirty millions; manufac-
tured Fertilizers, twenty-seven millions;
iro1 one Twenty-Five millions, petroleum.
twenty millionss building stone. nineteen
millions; imsv Ieighteenn millions cop
per, eighteen millions; lead, ten mil
lions. These items make up three hun
'dred and, eighty -eight, million sdollars.
No other substance cor trfbuted as much
las ten millions 20 1.-THE hetai9i w kich
IameuhtsIto antaYerage,of eseNen dollars
for everxamHn.y womAntend child In the
county, When we consider the inn
nense addition made to the value of
these prQducts BY manufacture and
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-03-23
COMMISSIONERS SALE.

B:s authority OF an order of the county
court of Pettis county, dated the second
day of March, 1856, and to me directed, L
viii sell at public auction, TO the highest
bidder, on
MONDAY THE 5TH DAY OF APRIL.
1856,
bt-tween the h0urs of o'clock a. M. and 8
o'clock p. m OF said day, at the northeast
corner of the court house square, in the
city of Sedalia, the following property be-
longing to PettiS county, to-wit;
All the furniture formerly used in the
court. house and county offices, consisting
OF stoves, stove-pipe, counter desks, desks,
tables, chairs, railing, mating, etc
Also the 6ye-rot m brick building. situated
on the north east corner OF said court
House square. formerly occupied as county
offices, and also the plank fence surround
ing said court house square. =
Terns.-The brick bailding viii be sold
on four months time, purchaser giving note
with approved security. All other property
will be sold for cash in hand.
l.. 5. MURRAY, Commissioner.
2-23w2t
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-03-23
TRUSTEES SALE.

WHEREAS, James c. Hawk and Matilda
j. Hawk, his vile, by their certain Deed of
Trut dated the 9Th day of February,
1878, and recorded in the Recorders Office
of Peiiis County, in. deed book Is. pages
423 to 425, conseysd to Aaron /. Hazen,
trustee, all their right, lite, isterest and
estate In and TO the following described
real estate. situated in the County of Pettis.
State of Missouri, via:
The southeast quaf.er Of the southwest
quarter, ant tie west half of tbs southeast
quarter Of section twenty seven (271 also
one ssd ore-hslf acres of of the northeast
corner of the northwest quarter of section
thirty four (34), all In township for.y-six
(46) andranee tw.nty-twoN22), containing
one hundred and tweuty.one and . half
(l214 acres, more or less, which said CON.
yeyance was made in trust 9 secure the
paymen; OF one esrt,in promissory note In
said deed described, and whereas said rote
has become due and is unpaid, and where
as, said Aaron l.. Hazen refuses to act as
such trustee, now, therefore, in accordance
with the provision of said Deed of Trust,
and at the request of the legal holder Of
said note, i, the undersigned, Sheriff Of
Petiis County. Missouri, shall proc, ed 10
sell the above d scribed resi- estate at the
court house door IN said County OF Pettis,
to the highest bidder for cash, at public
suction, on
TUESDAY, THE ssth pAYof MAY, 1886,
between toe hour, OF nine in the forsuooa
and Eve, in the afternoon OF that day Ito 1
satisfy, sad note, together with the cost
and expense Of executing, this trust.
LIS MURRAY,
S-23vst Sheriff Of Pettis County, Mo.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-03-23
Glass Flooring.

The substitution of glass flooring for
boards continues to increase in Paris,
this being especially the case in those
business structures in which the cellars
are used as Offices. At the bank of the
Credit Lyonnais, the whole of the
ground in front is paved with large
squares of roughened glass embedded
in a strong iron frame. and in the Gel
lars beneath there Is sufficient light,
even on dull days, to enable clerks to
work without gas. The large central
hall at the offices of the Compton,
d'Escompte has also been provided
with this kind of flooring and, al
though its. prime, cost is considerably
greater than that of boards, glass Is IN
the long run far cheaper, owing to It's
almost unlimited dnrsbility.-Scsensife
Apserioaa aGI
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-03-23
THE DUBIOUS MAN.
Positive Conviction Thing tn be Coveted
by Young Men.

Dy houhE ueH'
Nv son. if you can be positive | am
glad of it. | like TO see man positive
that he knows what he knows. ! am
glad to hear you talk as though You
knew all about it. | do admire posi-
tive character. Alas, therein do lack.
| am not skeptical. but am not posi-
tive man. / am not really positive
about scarcely anything. have been
taught from childhood that two and two
make four, and I believe il, but If you
rush at me and cross-question me and
corner me about it, will have to own
up that all | know about il is what The
teacher told me. / don't think my
teacher would lie about a little thing
like that. IL 1t were question OF mil
lions now, there might be some tempta-
ton to slip in thousand or two on
poor ignorant fellow who didn't know
anything about il. / am not positive
when America was discovered nor who
discovered it. There are claimants all
the way from the lost tribes of Israel
and Eric the Red down To Oscar Wilde.
How am | TO know? / am not even
positive when | will pay my debts. And
this grievous lack of pOsitiveness. Us
there such word?) makes me dread
controversy. i had rather give IN to
q positive man a week than dis
pute with him ten minutes. be-
cause he is positive about every
thing and I am positive in nothing.
Whv, even after he has silenced me L
am not positive that he is m the right.
| am not even positive that he is POSI-
tive. He says he is, but don't know.
So wait-I am very patient, and often
it happens, may say it always happens.
that few DAYS, few weeks. few
months, or a year, even-a year is moi
long-shows that he was altogether
wrong and that was unquestionably
right on every point. And then how
triumphantly hunt him up, and ride
over him rough shod, and say to him:
There. what did tell you? Dldn l
say so? Wasn't ghtP Didn I warn
YOU? Didn't | knowP Are YOU con.
WINGED now. YOU pig headed old colossus
of ignorance and presumption? The
next time tell Won thing is so you u
know that it is so, whether it is or not.
That's triumph for you, my boy. But
an. me, / so often grieve over my lack
of positive conviction. Do you cult
and stay fitii lev 9dhgsstfFh by s4rnh fAR T}
lead you into few ambiguous pits
which I have vaguely dug here and
there about my apocryphal grounds in
an indeterminate sort of way for my ab.
sOlute friends to fall into.-Burd,t "a
BrOOklin EaqLe.