, 1886-08-08
THE YOUNG ANALYST.

ton in accordance with IL. Sucn Delng
the case, | began TO study Augustus with
n view to finding out his special aptitude;
but. unless a really remarkable faculty Of
outgrowing his trousers may be 80 re-
garded. | could not for some time discover
that he had any. BY dint,' however, of
careful observation and INSTRUMENTATION
of the household | ELECTED that he was nd
dicted to making extremely offensive
smells In the back kitchen with chemicals,
and that he had what Is called n "~collec-
ton" of beetles and other unpleasant in
sects truck on pins in the box in his bed
room. 1t appeared, therefore, that his
proclivities We're scientific, and | ulti-
mately decided to make an analyst OF him.
Augustus, first demand on taking up
his new occupation was a microscope
And while you're about 1t, he suggested,
at had better be n good one. He assured
me that the microscope was nowadays the
very s~heet-anchor of analytical science.
The "~sheet-anrhor' completely took the
wind out my of sails. q feel that there is
rather a confusion of metaphor mere, nut,
not being a nautical person, l don't feel
competent to set IL right / s~urrenderei
humbly remarking that ! supposed a Is
note would cover It. The youthful analyst
laughed me to scorn. The very least, he
NSAltl lit nav "a kOOA P1RRPC tAAA
be got for would be elO or el2. Ulti-
mately | agreed to purchase one at 10 gum
cas-, and congratulated myself that at
any rate that was done well. On the con-
trary, 1t was only just begun. No sooner
had my analyst secured his microscope
than he began to insist upon the purchase
OF n number Of auxiliary appliances,
which, 1t appeared, nc respectable micro
scope would be seen without. lie broke
them TO me by degrees. At first he only
mentioned, If | remember right, an "achrO-
matte condenser" Mt 2 guineas. Next
anne n double nosepieceD (why double"
! don't know; then a polarizing apppara-
tus and u camera lucida a pounds
l0); then n micrometer, and II microtome
q guineas more); then somebody's prism
at 1 pound .; and somebody's mi
crospcctroscope, at | don't know how
much. Here. however, l put my foot
down. am compelled here to regard the
sordid consideration OF price, though
science doesn't.
So lar as my observation went, my IN
alyst's private study had hitherto been
confined to II short pipe and the last mum
her Of some penny dreadful; but | did not
think IL wise to check newborn ardor;
! contcntel myself by observing hat l
CAAAf AAflRHA ~ NRAlA oAA1h ~ g.
NO fear Of that" he rejoined, as indig-
nantly rs n limpet might nave lone in
answer 10 the same observation. why,
microscopy il the most fascinating study
out. Just take a squint at that now"
Hooked down the tube, and saw n sort
Of network Of red fiber.
I'm net g pence You can't tell me what
that is!' he exclaimed triumphantly.
owned the soft impeachment.
"That's the maxillary gland of a rat.
Isn't 1t lovelyy Here's another. Now,
just look at that" "a queer, granular
looking objcct) "You don't know what
that isY"
"Give it up" | said.
"That's a section of the epidermis of the
great toe
"Great toei7 l exclaimed in disgust.
"What on earth have analysts got to do
with great toes?'
"Oh, nothing particular" he said, airily.
But we like TO ave rs much variety MS
possible. ! should like TO have n section
Of everything, II | could get it, Here's
another pretty slide; that is the section
of n diseased potato, and this one is n bit
Of n frogs leg
Very instructive, | dare say" | re-
marked; but l hope you haven't made me
Fltbh -V nttANiH ~ llhpAONt NthA az
quaintance with frogs legs and diseased
potatoes. Mr.. Sorutiu surely doesn't ana
lyze such things as theses"
II amt say we do much in frogs legs"
he said; but there are lots of things adul.
terated with potato. Flour and arrowroot,
and butter, and cocoa, ~and-and-a heap
OF things. And the potatoes just rs likely
to be diseased as not. 1t may be, anyhow,
and there You arel If you don't know what
disease potato looks like, you're DONE
"A pleasant lookout" | replied, "f half
n dozen of the articles of food
are h~ahitually adulterated."
BLESS you that's nothing he replied;
"of course they don't put in enough to kill
you right oil. And If you find something
disngreeing with you, you can't swear
what it is. 1t may the nux vomica in the
beer; but it's just as likely to be entozoa
in the water, or copper in the last bottle of
pickles However. you're all right now.
With nm analyst in the family at any rate
you shnn't be poisoned without knowing
it. I'll let you know what you are eating
and drinking. This fellow7-and he patted
the microscope a1ectionately-"will tell
yon all about that
And it dil. From that day forth | nave
never enjoyed n meal, and | never expect
~ W. 81 bEiAiA L HaNt ulNhlN bttl plI-
ticulnr to deal at respectable establish
ments and to pay n fair price, in the hope
of insuring n good article. | have, or had,
n very tolerable appetite, and till
that dreadful microscope came into
the house | used to get n good
deal of enjoyment out of life. But
now all is changed. My analyst
began by undermining my faith in our
baker Now, il there was one of our
tradesmen in whom, more than another,
/ had confidence, II WINS the baker, who
supplied what seemed to me n good, solid,
satisfying article, with no nonsense about
It. But n day. shortly after the CONVEX
sation | have recorded, my analyst re-
marked at breakfast time; ave had a
turn nj bread yesterday at the laboratory,
examined five samples. and found three of
'em adulternted. And do you know
holding up a piece Of our own bread and
smelling it criiically-"l rather fancy this
Of ours il rather dicky."
Nonsense! 1 cried. ITS very good bread.
capital bread'
"You may think So" he continued.
calmly; "hut you're not an analyst. |
shall take a sample OF this to'the labora-
tory, aud You shall have my report upon
it,
On his return home in the evening he
began. "I'Ne been having n go-in at your
bread. It's not pure, OF course; but there
isn't very MUCH the matter with il.
There's % little potato. and n little rice,
and nlittle alum, and with those nddi-
tiona il takes w a good deal more water
than it ought, SO you don't get your proper
weight
"Aheml" / said; az that's the case wen
change our baker. I'm not going to pay
for n mixture Of potatoes and water and
call st bread. But as for alum, that's all
nonsense. II they put that in we should
taste it,
"Ol, no. you wouldn't. When alum Is
put Ia bread 1t ~dccompOscs and forms sui