The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-06
BRIC-A-BRAC.

NuICh tOh l DSNphtV ~ oiN wy
"a boy l always wished to be,
Dear ma, and I'll pursue this plan;
For as that can't be-" said she,
"II get as near as l can"
Always in debt-Thc letter B.
A bad sign-A forged signature.
Too much beer is apt to put men at lager
heads.
Ignorance has no light; error follows a
false one.
The mar who has no check seldom has
much chin.
Man proposes, God disposcs, and the gos-
siper supposcs.
Fill Il man with enthusiasm and no room
is left for doubt.
The sweetest rest a man ever had Is the
rest he finds in activity.
Ultra fashionable young men in some
cities affect light colorcd CATERS.
1t is only natural that young ladies
should pine for a spruce young man.
Out of Itnly's 20, O0O, 600 inhabitants
only 1000, GOO subscribe to newspapers.
The mercury is respectfully informed
that there is more room ut the bottom now.
Tho hcydcy of life-When a man be-
comes deaf.
p. j. Ruckcr sells young Hyson tea at
Tho most successful "auti. saloon" man
is the man who doesn't drink.
There is one good thing about a dumb
waiter. 1t never expects q fee.
Bulwcr was right; there's no such word
as fail. 1t is Modified into assignment.
Would it he just to say that all physi-
clans partially get their living by p~ill.agc?
People who have nothing to do soon be
come tired Of their own company.
Never borrow trouble. The interest you
have to pay for the accommodation Is cX-
c~cssivc.
Porfumcrs motto: Take care Of the
cents md the dollars will take care Of them,
selves"
Always speak kindly and politely to your
help, if YOU would have them do the same
to you.
Keep thy temper, keep thy purse, and
keep thy tongue, If thou wouldst be health.
~, wealthy and wise.
Kisses by mail" says an exchange.
Not any for MS. We want all our kisses
to come by female.
When death, the great %rcconcilcr, has
come, it is never our tenderness that we
repent Of, but our severity.
The reason why so many young men are
so fresh is because they do not earn their
own salt.
You cannot expect a girl OF the period to
stand fire because she Is accustomed to face
powder.
We presume Gains father.in law was an
Nod fellow, as he got his wife from the
land Of Nod.
City, State and county tax make n man
groan, but carpet lacks will make him
how sometimes.
Some women swallow naitery as babies
swallow buttons, without any idea of the
trouble that may follow.
Say that your frock was built" not
made, if you wish to he In the latest fash
ion.
y new story is entitled The Editors
Wallet" We have not read 1t, but we
know it must be very flat.
1t takes n pretty smart ~phrenologist to
tell what is in a barrel by examining It's
head.
Miss Florence, do you love bcasts?'
Am | to consider that as a proposal, sir?'
was the lady's quick rctort.
There Is a little more night just now than
day. The little difference will continue to
grow during the fall and winter.
In Biblical days the foolish virgins ne
elected to put oil in their lamps. In our
times the foolish virgins put oil on the fire.
When in the enjoyment OF perfect physi-
cal health few Of MS really suffer from en-
nui.
The quickest way for a young man to
become millionaire is to marry "a million
hcircSs.
T~richinosis finds new victims in the Ger
man Empire, despite the exclusion OF The
American hog.
1t is not what you have in your chest,
but what you have in your heart, that
makes you rich.
The world has been called a bubble.
This is probably because It takes q good
deal Of soap to run 1t.
a cookbook describes a dish called
Surprise eggs These eggs turn ont to
be good in hot weather.
short sleeves never made pretty arms,
but it is more than probable that pretty
arm made short sleeves fashionable.
The house-ly is very slow In It's move.
mcnts when you want it to go out Of doors;
but quicker than quickncss when it wants
10 come in.
An Oakland obituary notice referred to q
deceased citizen rs having gone to n hap.
pier home" The widow is about bringing
Il libel suit.
(Which is right, Edward, The wages of
sin is death or Tho wages of sin arc
dcalh?' Neither, Annabcl; the wages of
sin is wealth.
Scene ip hotel % years hence; Guest to
pn'tcr-Can you toll mo what time it Is?
Portcr-ics, sir; thatll cost you so cents,
please.
Profcssor-"Docs my question cmbar.
rass your Not at all, sir" replied the
student; ''it is quite clear. 1t is the answer
that bOthers me-"
Nothing is easier than fault.fnding No
talent, no self.denial, no character, are re-
quircd to set up in the grumbling business.
A physician in New York has written
IN article in which he states that a persons
disease may be detected by his or her hand.
writing.