The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-01-23
For THE ARKASsAw TRAvRLza.
 A DIFFERENCE IN TASTE.
BY Y. K. HuppLR.

have lately had occasion to thank the Lsrd that all men have not the same ideas of happiness. .aI vas a passenger on western railroad when my heart be. gan to swell with gratitude, and was . passenger on several other western rail. roads before the swelling aeated. I had often thought that if all men had the same style of taste. perhaps would be bachelor to-day instead of the orphan father of good-looking wife and nine pairs of twins. will modify the state ment enough to relieve me of the par. entage of my wife, on second thought. She is the daughter of another 6ne,look. ing and highly esteemed old gentleman, The occasion of this swelling seemed to be one of supreme b 'ppiness to a pair of fond young souls riding on the same train. The female heart was located in a concaves consumptive looking bosom that seemed to me to have been left un. finished by the Creator. lcoul not help thinking that her Maker had gone to dinner when she was not quite done and she had escape during his absence and wandered away an incomplete specimen of the handiwork of the Almighty, What she lacked in bust, however, was made up in warts and moles. There was a mole on her chin, one on her nose and four others punctuated the wide waste of the language of love upon her neck. did not count the warts. never was very apt in arithmetic and when had counted from Chicago to Joliet, got mixed and gave it up as bad job.
 The male heart seemed to be in a Ted- headed young fello s's mouth. He had a through ticke, to Willowdale Siding, four dollars in money and four months old goatee of red hairs on his chin. He also seemed to have copper lined stomach and no fear of the ills of this world or the terrors of the world to come In the brief space of thirty-two miles, l think he kissed every individual mole in sight and was rapidly diminishing the number of unkissed warts when my stom- ach invited me into the smoking-ca Half way between the love burdened coach and the smoker, however, we stopped to commune with nature. My stomach was one of the most unreason- able communists ever kne at tha, mo. ment, and was too ill to interfere, 90 we distributed our breakfast over several miles of the road.
 At Joliet 1 went into the lunch.reom and ordered a To, of pigs feet, bologna and mince pie. had just balanced . trotter on my fork when the recently mar ried couple entered the dining hail arm in arm and sat down on the one vacant stool. They renewed their devotion al exercises, and placing my left hand over my mouth and reaching for dollar with my right, I told the proprietor that hun. ger was luxury for which was willing to pay a good price, as was just recov- ering from typhoid fever and my physi. clans had advised me not to eat anything under pain of death.
 He looked sad and took the money, and as 1 passed out, l saw him shove my breakfast along the counter to the happy pair, and two minutes later. one of them was gnawing at either end of the best pig foot on the plate.
 Il afterward learned that she had jus, arrived from Hungary and he had me, and married her in Chicago, and from that day to this, have been grateful to my Creator that mans tastes are differ ent lf my taste had been the same aa his, perhaps we might both have been gratifed, for 1 thiak there were moles and warts enough for tive. It is not self. ishness that makes me grateful am willing to sacrifice every claim have, or might have had upon tha, young woman to the red-headed boy with the goatee, but fear that if his taste and that of all other men had been the same, the world would starve to death. have been liv- ing on hope and sweet milk ever since that fatal ride, and am now forty. four pounds lighter than when l began to think that that young man was welcome to bis taste and all the tasting he could do for hundred years to come.
 
 A short time before his death, Alexan. der H Stephens dictated to his amapu-