Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-12-29
PlTli ANn POINT.


Law OEuer-- heep on the GTuSS.
To DENTISTS: Do sound teeth chatter I?
A TRIAL balance-the baby e first run.
CANT hold candle to it--gunpow-
der.
The lower classes in Russia are not
noted for cleanliness. The climate is
not favorable to serf bathing.
A MINNEAPOLIS congregation left the
church one Sunday because the minis
ter took his text from ST. Paul.
A PITTSBURGH girl who has been Wis.,
iting Boston has returned home because
the atmosphere did not SCOT her.
The consumption of lead-pencils in
the United States is placed at 25O, 900 q
day. If every woman who uses lead
pencil were to sharpen her own the
consumption, it is estimated, would
amount to about 25O, 00O, 900 q day.
MorHER-You naughty boy, if you
keep ON this way you'll never 60 to
Heaven. Naughty Boy latter whip
ping)--Bo-ho! don't want to go, if the
angels wear golden slippers. Leather
shoes are hard enough for me-bo-ho!
If the present female fashion of wear
ing big buttons had only been adopted
by the designers OF army uniforms dur
ing the rebellion the national pension
list wouldn't be half so long and expen-
sive as it is to-day. -SOmerpille Jour
nal.
A PRETTY New York female thief dis
guised herself as a man, and the detec-
tives were unable to find her because
she had schooled herself to pass q
millinery store without stopping to
peep in the window.--Phi!adelphia
Herald.
FATHER, what is phenomenon"
askeas'asss Z, Fl. ssnny McSwelligen, as he
was looking over his spelling lessen
last night. "A phenomenon, Johnny,
is man who never says Chestnut when
You tell him Joke" was the reply
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
HER LIP.
Her lip. curved like Cupids bow.
10 beautful-Oh, v ry!
And it has caught thu roses glow,
Or deeper hue OF cherry
IT'S smoother than the ribbon bright
She wears upon her bonnet
And 1t Ia strange that lip last night
Did have mustache on it.
Boston Courier
IT is we'll to inculcate habits of econ
omy in your children by giving them
toy savings-bank and teaching them to
save up all their spare pennies. Be
sides, you will find the bank conven-
lent to borrow from at low rate Of in
terest when you get hard up yourself.
-Someruille Journal.
CHICAGO proposes to celebrate the
400th anniversary of the discovery of
America by holding worlds fair This
is eminently proper. It is pretty gen.
orally understood by this time that the
principal object of Columbus in discov-
ering America was to find q place large
enough to hold Chicago. -NorristoWn
Herald.
WELL, Bobby" said young Feath-
erly, eve had quite q pleasant time at
the house last evening"" Eyes, indeed"
replied Bobby; "ma was speaking about
it at the breakfast-table this morning."
$50 your ma enjoyed the evening" too,
did she?" "Yep. She told pa that she
could never think Of You without laugh
ing."-NeW York Times.
JIMMY TUFFBoY is not coward proof.
He is afraid of lightning. When the
flashes we're frequent the other day he
ran into the house, and began to be-
have himself. what makes you so
quiet, James?" inquired his mother.
There's no need of my making noise
when there's 80 much thunder going on.
Nobody could hear me. "-Hargord
Post.
EMPLOYMENT AGENT-You said you
didn't care what sort of domestic
sent you. LADY, didn't say that,
know. Employment Agent-As to
color, / mean. Lady--Yes, remem-
Der, did Either black or white,
said. Employment Agent-Well, I
filed the stipulation, didn't? Lady
No. The one you sent me is green
Philadelphia Call.
THE GLOVE OF FANTASY.
found and pocketed her glove that on the floor
laid as I entered. Sweet relic Of the one
love. on whom my thoughts are always
chrys Ais from which has flown her perfect
palm, her finished fingers: an odor that ia
all its own. go faint and fine. about it
fingers.
6ulelu Ot u8uo Wlsu were u,ue gaze upon
it every minute and hold it with clasp
divine. as II that little hand was in 1t.
And then I dream that hand Is there, and
breathe my vows Of loving fervor; the
fealty Of my heart ! swear, and that only
live to serve her.
with life it's almost animate. and every dimple
In it's mo'ded-the dimpled hand, I'm
grieved to state, that never in my own lay
folded!
I bless the kid that lived and died that II might
yield this plant leather TO cothe the hand
for which I've sighed to shield it from the
sun and weather.
take 1t with me o. 60 to call on her she greets
me kindly, and now this precious glove
show and tell her that love IL blindly
She looks upon IL with surprise give the glove
an endless kissing. She opens wide both
mouth m eyes, why that's the glove our
black girls nlissingi'