Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1886-06-18
CONCERNING FUNERALS.
A Somewhat Glowing Topic Not Flippsnt-
~, But HumorousIy, Discussed.

DC lully COnSluereu al an early uate. III
all seriousness, the soul is not the only
thing to be looked after, either during
life or after death. We are too prone to
neglect our health during life and then
bcqueath our accumulated microbes and
other results of long and perhaps
crooked career to some slightly ceme-
terry, set on a hill like a city that can not
be hid.
Longevity is good thing, though
have known public men to overdo it,
To die at the proper moment and leave
IA good impression on history is one of
tM lost arts To flicker out of life with
the applause of great people ringing
in the ears is a good thing; but man
that is born of woman, and the major
ity of them are that way. are too prone
to linger on this side of eternity until
they have done some little thing that is
never properly explained on their tomb
stones.
But after death what shall we do with
ourselvesP In this brief treatise l dare
not attempt to be thorough or even
lucid. Leaving others who know all
about it to state exactly what disposition
will be made of our souls, let us look
into the matter of what we shall do with
our bodies.
hope that what l may say will not be
regarded as flippant, for this is no place
for fliprancy, but allow me to speak
plainly of it, as would on any other
subject concerning onr health.
Death has some very peculiar charac-
teristics. For instance, it will wake up
the dormant old crank, who has never
missed funeral for sixty years. He
goes for miles to see deceased" 1t is
his holiday. 1t is the one saving sport
in his otherwise joyless life. We all
woman.
The thought that the time will come
some day when this man will put on his
funeral clothes and come to my funeral
makes my tall hair rise up on end. He
can not gloat over me now, but the
day may come when shall lie low, in
stead of lying otherwise, as do now;
and he may Outlive me and come to see
me properly buried. Then he will ,nioy
himself! All, what blessed relief il
would be could i hover over the door
way when he comes, and hear my foot
man announce to the old vulture that
he lis little late, as Mr.. Nye was put
in the kiln half an hour ago"
could suffer good deal through life
if | knew that / could at last head off
the funeral fiend the man who
wouldn't loan me dollar when | was
struggling for grub, but who cheerfully
visits my funeral and shows his APP
proval in every possible way.
must say in all candor that there are
many attractive features about crcma-
ton. am sure that when cremation is
placed within the reach of all it will
rapidly become popular.
In the first place, if the space between
life and physical humiliation could he
made just as narrow as possible it would
be far more cheerful to consider. Death
itself is cruel enough. but to add to it a
hippodrome of apublc funeral and turn
our parlors into a gaudy morgue, and
then to repOse in crowded cemetery
till the city wants the ground for park.
and then to pick up our crumbling bones
and move away to a new grave, is not
cheerful to contemplate.
have often thought that cheerful
book of fifty or sixty pages might be
written under the title of ''Recollections
of Resurrection; or, the Diary of a
Body" 1t could be made to teach us
valuable lesson. Politically am
pledged to genuine national reform.
Let the nation try it, and if
it works all right on the nation l will
try it myself. Next l am in favor of
cremation at living prices. AT present
the price is too high, and the poor
man is left to decay and fill the
soil with the poisonous gases, which the
poor, as we'll as the rich, may indulge in
after death.
Death should end our career, so far
as earthly affairs go, but with the
embarrassing prospects of prema-
ture burial. the cheerful chances of
being boiled by the janitor of medical
college, and our skeletons wired to-
gether and hung in museum, and
the opportunity, If we escape the first
two, of being tipped out of our
graves by a flood, an earthquake, or
the act of the Common Council, it is
no wonder that people cling to life.
If | thought that for centuries after
my decease my long but symmetrical
skeleton would be used night after
night to illustrate the union in case
of compound cyclonic fracture of the
tihia I wouldn't no ahla tn slaen