The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-03-15

man of the world, man of the Nineteenth
century, depending on the foundation of the
civilization in which he was protected in life
and in property, educated and freed, He did
not question the sincerity of Mr.. Ingersoll.
He simply doubted that gentleman's omni-
science. He simply believed that that gentle
mans faith in himself and his own errcrs was
sufficient to remove mountains. He quoted
from the infidels lecture Oh Myths and
Miracles rs follows:
"All these Old fellows were sun gods. There
was Samson. He was sun god. When his
hair was cut off he lost his beams of light
There was Apollo, another sun god He
shot the demon of darkness with his rays
of light. There was Little Red Riding
Hood and there was Christ, another
sun god. 1t won't do. They say he raised
people from the dead Wei, why didn't he
raise somebody We knew! If you was to go
around trying to start a religion by raising
people from the dead yOu would raise some
body of some Importance, wouldn't You!
Why didn't he tell us something of import
ance: Would't YOU! Why didn't he tell us
something about slavery when he was on the
cross: Why didn't he utter those inspired
words, Liberty, equality and fraternity
! tell you it won't do
Mr. Wheeler simply burlesqued this TO
show its shallowness. He said that in another
year, if agnosticism succeeded in getting up
a class of pupils, this style would undoubtedly
he adopted with effect by the infidel teacher
He could then say: There was the Goddess
of Liberty she was a sun god. She shot the
demon of bondage with her shaft and men
worshipped her. There was a Hail Columbia
and Uncle Sam, another sun god.
There was the man who struck Billy Patter-
son, and there was George Washington, an
other sun god They said he was the father
of a free country. Wen, why didn't he abol-
ish slavery, if he was! If You were going
round trying to start a free country, YOU
wouldn't own slaves, would you: Why didn't
he tell us, in his farewell address, about Nor
monism and rapid transit: Why didn't he
utter those inspired words, BE sure You are
right, then 90 ahead't
The effect of this satire of Mr. Ingersoll's
method of mixing up historical and myth
ical personages was to say the least. hilari-
Gus He poured all his sarcasm upon Mr.
lngersolfs statement, made in one of his lee
lures that he could write a better book than
the Bible himself If said he, won can
only get that sentence into the heads of the
people they will never bother much with
what Mr.. Ingersoll thinks of the Bible. They
will he too completely overwhelmed with
what he thinks of himself Mr.. Nheeler's
closing tribute to the spirit of Christianity
was worthy of the best pulpit. 1t was fervid,
pictorial, eloquent. He told what a news
paper man in the great metropolis who had
spent the greater part of his life in active
journalism, knew about it. He spoke with
earnest reverence of that Master whose
mission opened with a benedicti0n of peace
and closed with prayer for his own muir
derers, and then said;
During twenty odd years of eventful toll
in the great city / never found depth of
misery so deep, poverty 50 rank, crime SO
atrocious, despair So black, that some humble
follower of that Master did not find it out
Into all the holes and corners of wretchedneSs
where vice and poverty, like twin wolves, had
hunted down their prey, the policeman and
the reporter always found the hooded sister
or the missionary ahead of them. They were
the first to come. They were the last to 60.
They stayed and put up their sIIpplication
when all else of earth had forsaken the wretch.
They followed him to the prison cell, and they
stood beside him on the gallows, and they
never forgot in all the obloquy of sin and
the cry of human vengeance the eterna,
brotherhood of man. And they wanted nc
pay, and they got no praise. They were
doing that Masters work True, it was 1900
years ago when He called them and bid them
go out and bind up the broken hearts and dry
the tears, and thus, with tender touches of
tone, they carry out His mission; and in that
time empires have fallen and races have he
come extinct, but these little streams have
widencd and deepened till they encircle our
globe like its atmosphere and sweeten myriads
Of arid hearts
These extracts will give an idea of the
lecturers style In appearance Mr.. Wheeler
is quiet gentleman of Just 80 years He
speaks earnestly but with admirable control
His new departure is considerable of sur
prise to his friends, who acknowledge him to
he he the most brilliant of writers and con
siderable of philosopher, though unaware
before that he was an admirer of the meek
and lowly Nazarene. S. II. H.