The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-12-29
PlTH AND POINT.


Silence may be golden, but it doesn't
necessarily maze millionaire out OF
mute. II Philadelphia Call.
"A young lady teacher in the Seward
public schools fell heir tn $4,000. Her
name was Began at last accounts =
Omaha Republican.
what time did John go away last
night, Mary Amp sit was quarter
OF twelve. father "Three,'' she said
to herself, fare quarter of twelve"
"A New Yorker shot at his wife, but
the bullet hit nothing buther store hair.
II is very hard to get at the exact bound
aries Of woman nowadays. -Onaha
World.
I'm 'fraid Of the dark!'' said baby,
smuggling up to mamma one night.
"Whyp" asked mamma. Cause 1t
comes SO close to me. - Houth's Com,
pa,sio,,. !
1t is said that William D. Howells
collects material for his novels by sh OPP
ping with his " fe. Few authors secure
sufficient money return from their nov.
els to adopt such an expens We mode of
collecting material. - .Norristoscn Her
aid.
Customer to coal dealer-Have you
got any name for those scales of yoursP
Il never heard of scales having q
name" well, You ought to call your
scales ambush. You see they are al
ways lying in weight. !" Texas Sittings.
"A correspondent wishes to know
show to get rid Of fool. " Procure .
loaded gun, put your mouth over the
muzzle and touch the trigger with your
toe. The bullet should be swallowed
whole. - Burlington Free Press.
-Jones-I would not be surprised at
any thing. Smithers Not If an angel
were to appearp Jones-Well, that
might astonish me q little. "a female
angel, for instance?" "Female angel?
There amt any other kind; not much
~ Pittsburgh Dispatch.
An instrument has been invented
called a plethysmograph, which meas
ures the expenditure of mental force in
thinking. A man in financial difficult
ties. who has note to meet, will, it Is
-estima4 ed, wear out two plethysmo-
graphs day. Boston Courier.
Two young women were gazing in
shop window. Said one, '..Isn' tit .
love Of a bonnet! I'm tempted to buy
it, even if it is EXPENSIVE Said the
other, .sNo, don't you do it; you are
too excited now. You would be sure to
regret it tomorrow morning."-M 7.
Sun.
-Calino receives a letter from NADIA
gascar. 1t is dated from Maujakauda-
rananbana. "Why do they use such
long names?" asks one of his friends.
Because replied Calino, sit is q
country where there is nothing in par
ticular to do, and they say two or three
words to kill the time. IN. Y
Graphic.
Magistrate The young woman
says that your continued staring at her
annoyed her excessively. Pr.soner-1
never intentionally annoyed woman
in my life. your Honor. Magistrate
Then why did you stare at her SO per-
sistentlyp Prisoner she is
pretty, and I couldn't help it Young
woman-Let him 60, judge!-Lis.
Mrs. Anglomaniac Il can not tell
you what treat it is to hear you talk.
You have been in England so long that
every word you utter reminds mo
Of the delightful lords and dukes I
used to meet. Returned tourist-Par-
don me, but England is the only coun-
try that ] did not visit. Mrs. Anglo
maniac Indeed! How very strange! /
was sure you had unconsc; onsly ac-
quired the English vocal tones Re-
turned tourist No; it is only q cold in
my head Glen Rose Falcon.