St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-02-05
A DELICATE SITUATION.


my eyes; she is comparatively young though
perhaps she might not like me to be precise
on this point; she has troops of friends and
no lack of anything that husband IN com
Portable circumstances and devotedly at
tached to her can supply; and yet, owing to
some distressing mental disorder, she is con-
inually bringing home other peoples prop
erty.
Nothing L am sure, could be further
from her gentle disposition than the vice of
covetousness. She does not take things be-
cause she wants them, or in order to obtain
a cheap qualification. SO far as L can see
she is subject merely to the same propensity
as the jackdaw.
] solennly affirm that she has no notion
of wrongdoing She pliers with the inno-
cence of the dove, cooling all the while
with that soft voice of hers, which would
disaIm the most hardened stickler for the
rights of property; and when she sees me
take anything to restore it to its lawful
owner she invariably regards me with mute
reprOach.
first discovered her malady during our
honeymoon, which was spent in the north
or England We were in a jewelers. shop
at the time, and d diamond ring had mys-
teriOusly disappeared. Parenthetically let
me observe that, although Maria will, on a
pinch, take articles of no earthly value,
she prefers jewelry, as being at once porta-
bic and pleasant to look upon. The man
declared she had stolen the ring. While
was pouring upon him a flood of abuse,
and she was entreating me to spare him,
she became so agitated at the sight of my
Indignation as to have recourse to her
handkerchief. AS she drew it from her
pocket something fell on the floor.
Following triumphant dart of the jew
eler's hand l looked, and, 10! there was the
ring. This was the first of many painful
moments. Yet l can confidently say that,
instead of diminishing my love, they have
increased it. for they have added to my
other feelings great pity for her who is so
grieyousiy afflicted.
There never was q less nervous woman
than Maria; herein, fear, lies the hope
lessness of her case. If could detect even
the culver of an eyelid-and what charming
eyes she has to be sure!- as she quietly APP
propriates what belongs to another, might
be able to take courage. But, alasl the
smile never leaves her pretty face, her tones
never falter. her hand goes untremblingly
on its stealthy way, as if it were impelled
by some invisible force external to herself,
and then the horrid deed is done. Oh,
L
the power of stopping herl What shame,
what pity, what horror lest she should be
caught in the actl l always feel as guilty
as if l were her accomplish.
Night after night, when she is asleep, /
have long made a practice of searching her
pockets, and then of creeping down stairs to
examine her private cabinets. The number
of things / have found secreted in one cor
ner or another is enough to make my hair
stand Oh end when | think of them.
Whether Maria ever misses them, whether
she knows that have sent them back to
their owners, l have never been able to as
certain, but she has neither demonstrated
nor said word on the subject to me. l
have noticed, however, that her hiding
places are changed from time to time, which
looks as if she were not altogether satisfied
with them.
About year ago Mrs. Arbuthnot, an ac-
quaintance of ours. lost a valuable bracelet,
which | felt quite sure Maria had taken.
But never could find it, though searched
the house from top to bottom. Mrs. Arbuth-
not had her suspicious could see, and this
drove me nearly frantic, not only with
thinking of what had become of the brace
let, but also with trying to discover rem
edy for the existing state of affairs
At last l hit upon what struck me as
really good idea. Like cures like. L ar
gued; if | were to introduce into the house
another keptomaniac would not Maria be-
come disguised and alter her way? A bad
habit in ourselves may be tolerated, but
when it crops up in others it often assumes
a most repulsive aspect, and straitway
clamors for its own removal. Such, at
least, was my idea. L thought it worth
trial.
The first thing to be done was to secure a
genuine kleptomaniac. With this object in
view l inserted in several of the daily pa
pers the following advertisement:
M ANTED-A kleptomaniac, who must be
w lady of otherwise irreproachable hab-
its and pleasing manners. She will be re-
wife who is similarly afflicted. Duties light;
remuneration liberal. Apply in the first in
stance to X. Y, L., care of firm of advertis-
ing agents.
Notwithstanding the frequency with
which such articles as books and umbrellas
disappear, l had supposed kleptomania to
be very rare disease, and, moreover, one
which few persons would care to own 20.
Imagine my surprise, then. at receiving
fifty-seven answers to my advertisement.
every one of the writers claiming to be a
lady. From the nature of the case, / could
not ask for references. Not that this mat
tered much, for had enough confidence in
my own judgment to think l could do with
out them.
went through the letters with great
care, putting aside all that tried to recon-
mend themselves by shamelessly describing
acts of successful pilfering. | had no hest
tation in concluding these ladies to be i'm
posters, attracted by the salary.
There remained just five, who bashfully
said they were considered by their friends
to be kleptomaniacs, a statement which
they themselves did not indorse in any
way. Two of them-if [ recollect right.
for l have mislaid their letters-were
elderly spinsters whom the world had
treated badly; the other three were widows.
All wrote at great length, each urging,
strangely enough, that because she was
poor, therefore she had exceptional claims
upon my consideration. From their letters
1t might have been supposed that each was
the most unfortunate person in the uni-
verse.
In the end | decided to interview all five
that being the only way by which | could
discriminate between them. Accordingly I
wrote to ask them all to come to nv house
on certain day, and added that | wouId
of course, defray any travelling expenses
In order to prevent clashing, which saw
might place me in a most unpleasant nosi-
ton, requested one lady to present herself
punctually at IL o'clock, another at 1880.
another at II. and SO on.
There would be no difficulty from NV
wife, for she was to be away from home on
that morning 1t had been arranged that a
certain Uncle Joe should escort her TO an
exhibition which had declined to attend.
While pitied Uncle Joe, who was very
rascible old gentleman, l certainly felt he
lad done me great service on this occa-
sion. though even here there might he Trash