The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-03-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

A story is told at the Capital about Senator Noor,
hees and Representative Holman, and reported
by the Cincinnati Enquirer, to the e1ect that Mr
Holman entered the Senate chamber Anew Gays
ago just Senator voorhees, had answered. 70 u ms
State. Just as the Senator responded aye hoi-
man approached him and said
'Oh, ali, my Senator. am aWlulls, dMlully SUI
ry you voted that way"
'"'Why SOP asked the Senator.
because" responded Judge Holman. " know
all of the members of the Indiana delegation will
vote against you. think your vote is quite I'M
fortunate, :, soo., .s,,oa t,,a co,otor ar
will not be the first time they have done so, will
1t? think you all voted for the civil service law
when voted against Inst II and don't think 1t mas
The Judge had nothing more to say, and rushed
off hurriedly toward the House end OF the Capitol
Smart Weed and Belladonna combined with
the other ingred tents used in the best porous
plasters make Carter's S. W. s. B. Backache Plas
ters the best in the market. Price 25 cents
The new vassar book, ''Two College Girls tells
II happened during history recitation that
somebody quoted. "Ill fares the land to fastening
-" and could get no further
ssWho can finish it?" cried the professor and
catching Kittys steady gaze, he said, miss
Morris?n
Miss NJ finished the quotation, but said blush
ing: "But just happened to see it in Familiar
Quotations yesterday. This was the only reason
%And who wrote it?o asked the professor,
smiling.
II beg your pardon The professors pet
alarm was deafness.
sit said Ibid"
He was very near asking her the DATE OF lDldS
birth, but he refrained,
The action of Carriers Little Liver Pills is pleas
ant mild and natural. They gently stimulate the
liver, and regulate the bowels, but do not purge.
They are sure to please.
Deacon Observation-Disclosures that you must give
an account Of all your actions and deeds when you
go to the other world"
Old Mose-"Waa boss, Use mighty glad Use
got poor memory"
"Quincy troubled me for twenty years. Since
started using DR.. Thomas's Electric Oil, have not
had an attack The Oil cures sore throat at onee.n
Mrs. Letta Conrad, Standish, Mich.
1.-TWO gentlemen were recently disputing over
the correct pronunciation of the word either"
One was positive that it was "ee-ther," while the
other was equally as positive that it was 'i-ther.
1t was agreed to refer to man close by, who
confounded them by saying, "Bedad, It's nay
Their, for it's ayther."
My wife, who has been troubled with chronic
rheumatism jor five years, thinks the Athlophoros
the best remedy she has ever used. have also
heard of its good effects upon others in the vcini
ty G. II. Twombly, foreman of the Gazette of
fee, Exeter, N. H.
Various remedies were in use 800 years ago to
stop bleeding. Thus a key, on. account Of the
GOODNESS of tile metal of which il is composed,
often employees; hence the term 'key-cold" be
came proyerbal, aud is referred to by many old
ing Of the corpse OF King Henry VI, says "Poore
key cold figure of holy king"
Colgan's Taffy Tolu sells like hot cakes. tab
let of it chewed after meals will relieve ndiges-
ton.
The infant class Of Sunday school were being
drilled by the teacher on the early life OF Christ
''JohnHy can you tell me where Christ was born?"
said She
'Easton.n
Why no. said the amazed young lady, HE
was born in Bethlehem"
well" said Johnny, 81 knew it was some place
on the Lehigh Valley Road!'