The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1886-08-07
Trash.

losses the key.
When tin can is seen going
down the street in company with a
widc-awake dog it could be said TO
be working the growler," sure
enough.
A new book entitled "Hints to
Poets" but the trouble is, poets
wont take hints. 1t requires kicks
TO make any impression on them.
The usual stories about poisoning
ice-cream are being circulated. There
are people who make pigs of them
selves at picnic and they usually
blame the poor little plate of cream.
A New York firm has published
book entitled "The Magic of Voice"
II you wish TO appreciate the magic
of a voice invite thirsty crowd into
Drugstore to look at the porous
plasters.
ADO you think l could mould
public opinion ?"'asked an inspir-
ing young politician of a veteran III
the profession. perhaps you
might" said the other; "somc of the
stories you introduced in your
speech seemed little moldy."
While the poets say there is no
balm for broken heart every wise
philosopher knows that if it is his
wife's heart he has fractured a new
bonnet or a new silk dress will ce-
ment the fragments together.
The graduate who recently deliv-
cred soul-inspiring Grafton, with
the motto, "An honest mans the
noblest work of Heaven" is now
wondering how he can get home
from the college town without pay
ing his washing bill.
Mercy" exclaimed Mrs. Homer,
when she read in the paper that Jay
Gould made ten cents every time the
clock licked II should think he'd
be worried to death for fear the
clock would run down"
A young lady remained too long
on train to kiss a friend, and, try
ing to get off after it started, was
thrown violently on her face. "If
ever l kiss anybody I" said she
vengefully, as she arose; "any wom-
an at least" she thoughtfully added.
"Are you having a pleasant timer"
asked a lady of a little miss at a
fashionable children's party. Ode
lightful, thanks" "And will your
papa and mamma come later ?" Oh
dear, no papa and mamma and |
don't belong to the same SET"
The most extraordinary incident
Of Observation-Disclosures is told of a
clergyman who forgot what he was
about in the middle ola prayer, and
sat down. In a moment he arose,
and, pointing to the congregation,
said: "oh, by the way, amen"
An article in a California paper is
entitled GLOW Scalping Feels" The
sensation is supposed to be nearly
similar to that experienced by the
Democratic ofiice-seeker who goes To
Washington and is informed that
the position he is seeking has been
given to a mugwump.
Mrs Maternal (convcrsing with a
friend at whose house she is calling
is disturbed by seeing her little
daughter in another part of the
room examining some ornaments)
"Hortense, dear, | wouldn't touch
those things" Hortense- "Oh
they're not so very dusty, mamma. :"
Brown saw that Nancy Brown
just now, she is about as homely
woman as | ever set eyes ON. Fog
Nonsense, man she's not so bat
she's a great deal better looking thar
her sister Brown-Then you know
Nancy? Fogg-No, never saw her
But have seen her sister.
What kept you so late tonight
Fred ? demanded Mrs. Spotcash
Takin' inventory, replied Spotcash
l knowed it, she replied smelled i
ON your breath the minute you cam
in. You'll keep ON takin' it till YOU
get yourself in the lookup and dis
grace your family, and then / hop
you'll be satisfied.
A lady friend once put II conun
drnm to her rhumatic old nurse
asking her, "Why are you like
church window, Sally ?" and CAV
the answer, because you are so full
of pains" Whcreupon the ole
colorcd woman pityingly replied
"Oh, dear, somebody's been a-foolin
of ye, honey. Denis anuddcr sor
o. panes. Dey's been foolin' yC
chile"
At the Ministries Boncs-Ml
MOntrose. can Won tell mo WHY