Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1886-04-24
A STREET SALESMAN.
The Jokes and Misfortunes OF q
Peripatetic Vender.

l ne Jokes ana MlSTOrtUneS OF q
Peripatetic Vender.
"Anythin' off for cIsh? No sir; one cent
fiat is the price,"
Thus spoke one of Boston's best know
peripatetic merchants, yesterday morning,
as he dropped dingy copper into one of
his capacions pockets, and smiled broadly
on his facetious questioner.
1--WE heerd some funny questions an
sayin's In the course er life" continued the
old man, depOsiting his heavy basket on a
convenient step, and lighting short, black
pipe. "I've sold most everythin', from took.
picks ter bosses an have been pooty well
hitched sev'ral times; but somehow or
mother, it alters slips away from me. Speak
in er bosses, l remember losing a trade
once by the keerless word of friend er
mine. 1t was down in Maine, where was
riz an was tryin' ter sell the boss to city
chap, what didn't know much bout boss
trades. B'tween me an you, the boss was
kinder old, but I'd fixed him up consid able,
an he was lookin' quite coltish. Ifilled him
up with oats one mornin', an come down
ter show him off ter the city Teller. l TUX
him in with me an drive round a little-l
didn't hev ter go fur-an' then we stopped
in the village ter talk it over. Just az We
pulled I'D who shud come along but Tom
Green. one er my old cronies. an good
Teller fur jokin'. Hello, Bill! he says,
pintin' ter the boss, how many er that
kind fur sheep? Guess ye must hev he'd
wire in the reins an push 'Im along, or ye'd
never got here.' tipped him the wink, but
it was too late. His keerless remark sorter
sot the city Teller ter thinkin', an lost the
| trade" ....- .-
pretty rough, wasn't it?' ....r ...
"Yes, it were. An i remember another
time when was kinder took back, an by a
small boy, too. vas travelin' ez light
MIN calkeriator, an sellin' books tellin' how
nv celebrations was done. | hired ba-
roc ch one evening and takin' along black
hoard an some alcohol lamps. drive out ter
Roxbury, ar sot up nigh the old Post Office:
1t wasn't long afOre he'd big crowd around
me, an eyerythin' run smoothly Ter some
time. Whenever done sum on the black
board-an' was poorly quick at ne 8 rs them
days-I used ter say, kinder 0ffhand Ike
But, again. an cleanin' the blackboard
with flourish of the sponge, start another.
| l was Jest i'm the middle or one er my
hardest, am the crowd was watchin' ME
with open mouths, still as mice, when a
small boy, in,itatin' my voice, blurted out :
But again! You'd oughter heerd the crowd
roar, an l couldn't help jOinin' OF EN-
| you evidently don't delieve In spelling a
| Joke for relations sake"
mo, sir; that don't A man what can't
enjoy harmless joke on himself hahn t no
business ter Joke anyway. Howsumdever,
I've knowed men what was very fond er
crackin' Jokes on others, but bridled up In
minute IL the boot was on 'tother leg,
Now, that hain't night. Turn abouts tan
play, sure enough.
"Spl akin er conical sayin's, was tickled
'tother day at what one er these little street
fellers was sayin' to a boy bout bis OWL
size. Johnny, he says, kinder serious-like
but there was "a 1ogulsh Twinkle IN hl'
eye-'allers mind yer mother when .yer
fathers tskln' to yer They're bIlgh
ones, some on EN-, and full er fun. Wal
must be movin', or I'll git stuck sure" And
knocking the ashes fsom his pipe, he picked
up his basket and moved slowly away. Hos
ton Globe.