The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-02-27
EDITORIAL VIcISSlTUDES.
IPeckh Sun.l

lPeckS Sun.l
 |, is pretty well known that editors in the far west-especially in new mining ,ovns-carry their lives in their hands, so to speak, and generally go "well heeled," always ready to draw their "gun" at the sHghtest indication of hostilitfes on the o,rt of anybody who Is offended at per tonsl remarks which have appeared ia he paper. Sometimes the editor, under such circumstances, forsskes the "edfto. nal tripod suddenly, and hts facile pen no more gallops over sheets of fair white naper transcribing "thous hts that breathe and words that burn" (Right here it nav be well to state that the writer does not know what an editorial tripod is, never having seen one to recognize 1t in an experience, of and on, about printing offices of more than . score of years, and sfacile pen" Is also a mere figure of speech put in for effect. The majority of editors use pencils some write with stub pens, some with ordinary business steel pens, and occasionally one is found who can do nothing unless swinging a gold pen. Editorial corkscrews are common, but tripods and facile pens are mere hc- tons, like divine afflatus" in poetry)
 To resume As rem ark:d before, in these little target matches the editor is sometimes obliged to quit work. but more frequently, perhaps, the assailant turns up his tocs," "passes in his checks" sgets skinner made out of his hide," and is "buried with his boots ou." These are all choice western expressions meaning the same as Shakespeare's "shuffllng of this mortal coil.'
 But danger turks not alone in the path of the western editor. He who takes up the editorial ti-that is, who puts op edi- toral harness (another 6ction) is liable at any moment to write something that will effend somebody and perhaps cause bis widow to file the necessary papers preliminary to receiving the insurance on bis lie. It may not be the editors fault always. Sometimes proof-reader wrecks the happiness of his employers family, and occasionally-too occasionally, in fact-the compositor is ameuable to the charge of uncorrected errors and new laid mistakes in correcting proof, which cause wailing and gnashing of teeth.
 One of the queexest reacontres ever re- corded between an editor and citizen oc- cured in a quiet village in Pennsylvania recently, and, strange to say, the casus belli could neither be attributed solely to the editor, proof-reader, nor compositor It was simply coneatenation of circum stances over which none of these had any control. In fact, they didn't know the paper was loaded until 1t went of aud licked. It seems that the editor was an industrious local itemizer, nothing escap- ing his eagle eye. He was also Q great condenser, seldom giving more than half dozen lines to a subject. Oae day he wrote the following local, among others:
 "-The citizens of this village are mourning the loss of twenty valuable dogs, poisoned by some miscreant."
 That is model of fc6nciseness-ani i'm. portant fact stated in geod English and with no unnecessary words. Latsr on he wrote some puffs far his advertisers, in- tending to call around as soon as conven ient and collect his quarterly bills. Note how the following three-iner conveys an interesting item of news and at the same times eulogizes home product:
 "-Botcher Suiegelfritz, on High street,
  large batch of fine, large sausages."
 No objection can be found to this item, except the repetition ofthe word large 50 near together ; that might have been avoided. 1t would not seem that any man could get offended at this puf, yes such was the case, and 1t cost the edit good mauling and the butcher $50 and costs later on for assault and battery. But this is anticipating. Let us again take up the thread of the narrative.
 It seems that when the forms were made up, the foreman, as was his custom, put in the local items ccording to siz., com mencing with the cne-iners like:
 -How's this for cold
 -Remember the Mite society.
 Bring in your wood while the sleigh. ing is gsod, etc.
 And, as the Fates would have 1t, the item commendatoy of the butchers came next under the one about the dogs having been poisoned not even three em dash separating them. Let the reader place them thus, or i'm. agine the items so placed when he reads them a second time, (for which purpose an intermission will now be hae); le, him also imagine quick-tempered Ten ton who took great pride in the q ia,,tY of the meat he served, and practicAi joker who liked to bother the butcher, and the result can be foreshadowed. The joker read the items aloud to the butcher aud made comments calculated to coovince him that the editor really meant to con- vey the idea that some of those poisoned dogs had been made into succulent sAu- sage. As soon as the butcher grasped the thought strange light shonc In his eyes, he wiped his hands on his apron. hcked his own dog out Of doors, took oli and hung up the apron and called his boy: "Here, Shake, you mindt der shop leetle vile; l goes ovid on some pees- ness."
 The joker and ose or two other crouies, to whom he had given the wink, fol- |osed.
 An was quiet in the sanctum. The editor, having finished mailing the weeks lssue and charged up the ads and paid 'ocals, was taking 1t easy reading some of his choicest exchanges in . desultory say, the scissors being within easy reach,