Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-12-23

dark and quite still, and there was Tom,
standing on the lawn, with clasped
hands and Bonded head, like a man
in a dream. "Oh, go to bed, Tom, |"
said the moon, as though she was
rehearsing a snare-drum exercise, and
she made his shadow as long as the
lawn, and most grotesque caricature
of himself, and then put out her light
and shut up the world for the night
Evelyn" chirped the crickets in
the grass, ''Tom and Evelyn" called the
katydids in the trees, so plainly that it
made Tom start; Evelyn sang whip
po'-Will down by the lake; Evelyn, !"
whispered the wind and the rustling
leaves, and Evelyn, Evelyn" sang
Toms heart all the way home. II am
afraid to go to Sleep" sad the poor,
happy boy, ''because it will be day
light when l waken, and this is only a
dream" But when morning dawned he
was just as delirious as ever. Think of
it! What discovery he had made !!
What an unheard of revelation was this
What measureless happiness was his |!
He was the first and the only man, in all
this world, from Adam to Cleveland, to
love and to be loved No wonder things
went wild at the handkerchief counter
at Barr & Bolts that day. But for the
other salesman, who was married and
had son nearly as old as Tom in the
upholstery, chaos would have reigned
over the handkerchiefs that day.
But those two people were the happi-
est, silliest- What two people? Oh,
it is SO hard to tell story to people
who don't know any thing. Have you
never been to school? If you will read
the history of the world, edited by APP
plegate & Barr-the only authentic edi-
tion-you will learn, in volume 10, page
1884, that in September of that year the
entire population of the world consisted
of two people, quite young, living in
Onlyville, which was at that time the
only Inhabited portion of the globe.
Well, these two people spoke the strang-
est language, and were interested in the
stupidest things, and would talk for
hours about matters that we wouldn't
give moments thought to. They were
deplorably ignorant, too. They believed
that people lived in the stars, and they
wanted to go,to one of them and live on
it. A nice place that would be to live,
when the smallest star is a mass of fu-
rious heat, equal to the burning of
eight million cubic miles of coal every
second. Then, again, they wanted to go
away and live on an island, where there
dc c+n
no groceries, no daily papers-nothing
but a cottage and little stone chapel
covered with vines. l suppose Tom
would preach and Evelyn would sing in
the choir. weren't you surprised
when I told you how dearly loved
you?" asked Tom. And Evelyn's head
nestled down on Toms breast, and she
cooed up little laugh from it, for it
had become famous laughing, as
well as good, comfortable crying,
place, and she said: s'You dear old
stupid, I knew it six months ago.
Oh, come away. "Come off, )" to quote
Evelyn's brother Jack again; come into
the garden and light acigar. Iwant to
show you the plans for the new kitchen
and laundry we're going to put up at
the State Asylum for the feeble-minded.
But when papa came to be told of it,
there was scene. Tom, with marvel
Gus tact, for which he is unable to &C
count to this day, chose most singu-
larly appropriate time for approaching
Mr.. Barr with the subject. He had just
been called to account for a grievous
mistake in some sale he had made, and
in the course of the investigation he was
brought into the senior partners pri-
vate office where he was informed that
his mistake, $11.75, would be charged
against him. This was a goodly bite
into his weeks salary, but Tom, feel
ing quite willing at that time to buy
out the establishment, merely asked
permission to say few words,
and then, with his heart beat
ing like a pulse in a fever, and a
shorter allowance of breath than he
would have believed any man could live
on for two seconds, told the astonished
merchant that he and Evelyn loved
each other, that he wished to ask her
fathers consent to their engagement,
bidG ne IaU hO was winning W wiling
to-and the eyes that glared upon him
so Jelly made him forget what he was
willing to-" and he never again re-
membered it. The interview from that
point was very brief. Tom went back
to his counter with great lump of lead
lying heavily right where his bounding
heart used to be, and that night Evelyn
cried hor urettv ewes TO sleep on an IN
responsive pillow, because the lapel of a
certain four-button coat that had been set
apart as place of lamentation was in
accessible. More than that, it had been
permanently removed without the gates
by her fathers orders, and wearisome
nights and troublesome days were ap-
pointed unto her.