Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1886-02-12

away with the farmers agri-
cultural college scheme
Mrs. DE-. Severance opened the dis
cussion and was folio y ed by others.
The discussion did not close till the
noon recess.
AFTERNOON SESSION.
At two o'clock p. m. the session re-
opened, when B. S Hoxie, of Evans
vile, came forward with lecture On
1.-The Why, What and How TO Build,
VI Our House and Home" He did
not appear as a professor of science
or an eminent farmer, but
merely of the jack plane order.
His description of good and conven-
lent home for the farmer and his
family was truly interesting, and as
he proceeded, many farmers wife
present was noticed by her actions to
agree with him. He spoke of various
styles of architecture, but be coz
demned the Queen Anne style. He
quot, d from Bill Nye, who called it
crazy quilt northumberland it is
so good that it is here given in
full, as follows:
II may be premature, perhaps, but
desire to suggest to any one who
may be contempt ating the erection of
a summer residence FOR me. as slight
testimonial OF his high regard for ny
sterling worth-that l hope he will
not construct 1t on the modern plan
OF mental hallucin alton and morbid
delirium tremens peculiar to recent
architecture.
OF course man ought not to look
gift house in the gable end, but if
my friends don't know me any better
than to build nee a summer house,
and throw in odd windows that no
body else wanted, and then daub it
up with colors they have bought at
auction, and applied to the house
rate dark with shotgun, | think it
is time that we mad better under
standing.
Such a structure does not come
within either of the three classes of
Renaissance. II is neither Floren-
tine, Roman, nor Venetian. Any
man can originate style of architec-
ture if he will drink the right kind Of
whisky long enough, and then de
| sCElUC Els ~ oil uCuSlS
Imagine the sensation that one of
these modern, sawed-off cottages
would create a hundred years from
now, if it should survive. But that
is impossible. The only cheering fea-
ture of the wkole matter is that these
creatures of a disordered Imagination
must soon pass away, and the bright
sunlight of hard horse-sense shine in
through the shattered dormers and
gables of gnawed off architecture of
the average summer resort. A friend
of mine, a few days ago, showed me
his new house with mucn pride. He
asked me what 1 thought of it. /
told him liked it first rate. Then !
went home and wept all night. 1t
was my first falsehood.
The house taken as a whole locked
to me like skating rink that had start
ed out to make money, and then sud
denly changed Its mind, and resolved
to become a tannery. Then ten feet
higher it had lost all self-respect, and
blossomed into a full-5lown drunk
and disorderly," surmounted by the
smoke stack of a foundry, and with
the bright future of thirty days ahead
with the chain gang. That's the way
it looked to me.
The roofs were made of little odds
and ends of misfit rafterS and distort-
ed shingles that somebody had pur-
chased at sheriff sale, and the rooms
and stairs were glddy in the extreme.
l went in and rambled around among
the cross-eyed staircsses and other
Nightmares till reason tottered on her
throne. Then l Came out and stood
on the architectural wart called the
side porch, to get fresh air. This porch
Was painted a dull red, and it had
wooden rosettes at the corners that
looked like brand new carbuncle on
the nose of a social wreck. Farther
up on the demoralized lumber pile I
saw now and then places where the
workman's mind had wandered, and
he had nailed on his clapboards wrong
side up and then painted them with
the Paris green that he had intended
to use on something else. 1t was an
odd looking structure indeed. If my
friend got all the materials for moth
ing from people who had fragments
Uf paint and lumber left over after
they failed, and then if the workmen
constructed it nights for mental re-
Taxation and intellectual repose, VITA
out charge of course the scheme was
a financial success, but INTELLECTUALLY
the house is gross violation of the
statutes in such cases made and pro-
vided, and against the peace and dig
nifty of the STATE.
There is look of extreme poverty
about the struc ture which a man
might struggle for years to acquire
and then fail. No one could look
upon it without feeling a heartache
for the man who built that house, and
probably struggled on year after year
building little at time as he could
steal the lumber, getting new work
man each year, building a knob
here and protuberance there, put
ting in a three cornered window at
one point and yellow tile or wad
of broken glass or other debris at an
other, patiently filing in around the
ranch with any old rubbish that
other people had got through with,
and painting it as he went along,
taking what was left in the bottom of
| the pot after his neighbors had paint
ed their bob-sleds or their tree boxes
little favors thankfully received
and then surmounting the whole pile
with pc pouri of roof, grand fare
well incubus of bumps and hollows
for the rain to wander through and
seek out the different calls where the
lunatics live who inhabit it.
did tell my friendo of one thing
that l thought would improve the
looks of his house. He asked me
eagerly what it could be. 1 said it
would take man of great courage TO
do it for him. He said he didn't care
for that. He would do it himself.
If it only needed one thing he would
never rest until be had it, whatever
that nigh. be. Then told him that
If he had friend-one that he could
trust-who would steal in there some
night when the family were away,
and scratch match on the leg of his
breeches, or on the hreeches of any
other gentleman that was present,
and hold 1t where it would ignite, the
a legged house, aud then remain to see
that the fire department did not med
die with it. he would confer a great
favor on one who would cheerfully
fetaliate in kind at call
Aaron Broughton, offered the fol-