davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

was upon this car that the body Presi-
dent Lincoln was carried from ALBANY
to Buffalo upon the occasion of that
memorable funeral in 1865. But in one
way VIC keep the recollection of that
sad event wildly impressed upon our
memories. In one end Of the car we
have a large photograph of Washing
ton, and in the other one of Lincoln.
Both are entwined in flags. and the up
per parts of the car are appropriately
decorated.
Whats the number Of the carp"
queried one of the eXcursionists.
mo. $50, and she's attached to the
? O'Clock local to Poughkeepsie every
day.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
Looking for Board.

Applicant to landlady)- And what can
you let me have the fourth floor back for,
madam. do not hesitate to say that l am
not so far advanced in my profession that
a dollar or two a week would be d matter
of Indifference to me.
Landlady-A member OF the legal pro
fession, sir!
Applicant-No; | am a member of the
musical profession. play second flute.
Landlady-l see. Well sir, / would be
willing to rent you the fourth floor back
for two hundred dollars a week without
fire.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
Long ON w.Es.

The shrewdest man heard of for some
time is he who, becoming bald. had four
wigs made, the hair of enc short. the hair
Of the next a trife longer, the hair of the
third longer still. and the hair OF the fourth
quite too long for beauty. lie wears each
a week, beginning with the former. The
effect achieved is the same a. though his
hair was growing. When he gets to the
long one aud has worn 1t a week be changes
to the short one again, and his friends and
acquaintance not IN the secret believe he
has visited a barber.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

An amusing game is thus described by q
society paper: "Can you draw cat.' Is
popular question, and you are immedi-
ately handed pencil aud paper aud request
ed e give your best ideas Of a cat, without
model or Semblance. One lady I knew has
wha she calls "a cat qsket," wherein she
keeps all the wild at mpts of her friends
to draw feline 1t is astonishing how few
people really know What a cat looks like.
Ask your friends to draw a cat, and see the
funny things they make
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
A Musical Dog.

An old blind man was turning the
crank of melancholy hand-organ at
the corner of Seventh and Vine streets.
says the Cincinnati Enquirer. A
weird sort of tune was being reeled off.
drilling misty rain was falling in a
spirltless way, and not q copper had
dropped into his tin cup. suddenly a
strange accompaniment to his music
was heard. A large, fine looking coach
dog came up, seated himself on his
launches, and began to bay the moon
as lndustriously as dog ever did. His
voice was in good tune and of various
resources. When the hand-organ
merged into a loud screech the dog
howled. When it came down to the
finer notes the canine voiced musical
whines. ending his passages in mourn
full lullabys. When the tune changed
to something lively the dog gave short,
quick barks and yelps. A crowd
gathered, and nickles and pennies fell
thick and fast into the beggar's cup.
The blind man said the dog did not
belong to him, but evidently liked
music. When he stopped playing the
dog jumped up and licked the mans
face, wagged his tail at an incalculable
rate, and manifested every sign of de-
light A policeman, seeing crowd
gashering that was b'oekading the
street, came up and gave the dog a
resounding wback on the bread-basket
with mace, and the animal skipped
away.
Half an hour later the dog cAnc back
and resumed operations at the old
stand, bowling in time with the diff
ferent tunes, lie was engaged in this
way when another big dog that evident
ly did not appreciate music came up to
inquire into the matter, and sec what
all the fuss was about. The musical
cur gave one OF two warning banks,
and then landed on the other dogs
frame. A first class fight ensued, in
which honors were about even for
while, but which terminated in the sig
nal defeat of the intruder. The coach
dog sang in chorus with the organ 5
walls until he got tired and scampered
OIL.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
ROME WASN'T BUILT IN 4
DAY

The boy who does a stroke aud stops
VIII ne err a great man be
IT'S the aggregate of single drops
That makes the sea the sea
Not all at once the morning streams
Its gold above the gray,
Ii takes thousand little beams
TO make the day the day.
Upon the orchard rain must fall,
And soak from branch 20 root,
An buds must bloom and faced withal,
Before the fruit is fruit.
The farmer needs must sow and till
And wait the wheaton head,
Then cradle, thresh aud go to mill.
Before his bread is bread.
Swift heels may get the early shout,
But, spite OF all the din,
Ii is the patient holding out
That makes the winner win.
ALICE CAKr.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Minister think It i notice Of my
forthcoming donation were TO be
placed in the newspapers. Deacon, it
might tend to the-er- glory Of the oc
ca~iuu.
Deacon think so myself. Mr. Good
man I VIII attend to the matter al
once.
9liuiSter-But avoid the Sunday pa
per> a. Won would a viper. Deacon. They
are an abOmiuatiOn.
Deacon Weller Mr. Goodr4an.
the Sunday papers have a much larger
circulation than the daily edition
through the week. and notice would
be seen by a greater number Of readers.
Miuister-H IN. Nnu surprise aud
gcicv, me. Deacon But | know little
Of ~ueh worldly matters You must
use your own Judgment. Deacon; and
NAV heaven bless you. Good morning
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
Car No. $50.

A party of young gentlemen of Al
bany, journeyed to Poughkeepsie, and
being DESTROYS of relieving the monoto-
ny of a long ride, repaired to the smok-
ing car. 1t was an odd-looking vehi-
Gle, and, despite its age and palpable
wear and tear. it still retained some
evidence of former grandeur. The
young men noted this, and one of them
remarked to the conductor that sit
was queer kind of csboose for q
smoking car,
"YonT re right" returned the ticket
gatherer. I'm sorry TO see the old
girl come to such pass as this. 1t
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
A LastIn z Benelt.

The world, it has been said, has more need
of philanthropists than of philosophers, a
truism which has been fully verified in the
case of the inventor of Aliens Iron Tonic
Bitters, who has given to the suffering public
the most potent remedy for dyspepsia, in
digestion and their attendant ills, ever Of
fered, and thereby conferred greater bene-
fits upon mankind than the whole school Of
philosophers from the days OF Zeno and
Socrates to the present time. All the genu-
inc bear the signature of J. j. Allen st.
Paul, Mimi.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Those who believe that nature viii
work off a cough or cold should under
stand that ;his Is done at the expense
Of the constitution. Each time this
weakens the system, and we all know
that the termination Of this dangerous
practice Is a conSumptive' grave.
Don { take the chances. when 4 fifty
cent bottle 81 Or. Biselow's Positive
Cure viii safely and promptly cure any
recent cough, cold or TIN oat or lung
trouble. Buy the dollar bottle. Sold
by Druggists, for chronic cases or for
famil use.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
Croli, ! dino the German wome

Credit Is due the German women
and physicians for first using Red
Clover blossoms as medicine. Best
results are obtained when combined
with other medicinal roots and herbs,
IS in DR.. Jones Red Clover Tonic,
which Is the best known remedy for
all blood diseases. stomach and liver
troubles, pimpleS. e",iir"uc-S. bad
breath, piles, ague and malaria
diseases. indigestion, loss of appetite,
low spirits. headache and all diseases
of the kidneys. Price so cents. Sold
by Druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

THE MosT MISERABLE CREATURE among
all mankind is the confirmed dyspeptic,
who always loOEs as though life had no
charms left for h i'm !; and yeti very worst
of this class may be brought back 10 health
and happiness by using VIEEGAR BITTERs
a remedy that even the most skeptiCal mod
ern practitioners are beginning to use in
their practice.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
The Sea COW.

Among other forms of animal life
which have disappeared from the earth
IS the sea COW. This great animal
which has been variously classed with
the whales, with walruses and seals,
and with elephants, was a toOthless
vegetable feeder. living along the
shore in shallow water. and often
weighing three or four tons. 1t was
seen alive and described in 1741, but in
1880 it appeared to have become en-
tirely extinct
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

HARDWARE.
Btrong-HacKett Hardware Co.
FarweIl, OzmUn 8, jackson.
Adam Decker.
Iron, STEEL AND HEAVY HARDWARE
Nicois g. Dean.
DRY GOODS ANT NOTIONS.
Auerbach. Finch 4 Van Slyck.
l. indexes, Warner s schumacher.
Powers, DurlCee s. Co.
NOTIONS AND FURNISHING GOODS.
BIabon, Warren 4 Chiplsy.
Arthur, Warren Abbott
GR0CERS.
p II. Kelly Mercantile Co
Allen, Moon & Co.
MaXfield 5 Seabury.
BeaBpre, keogh g. Co
YAM, briggs 4 HOwes
TEAS, COFFEES AND SPICES.
Berkey. TaimadRe & Go.
BOOTS AED SHOES.
G. Gotzian & 90.
Kellogg. johnson s. Co.
Fo,2tsi ss , 4 Co.
HATS, CAPS and FURS
Gordon & Ferguson.
Lanpher, Finch & skinner.
streissguth i Drake.
DRUGS.
Eoyes Bros. & Cutler.
Ryan Drug Co.
CHINA, CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE.
Craig. Larkin & smith
Donaldson & ogden.
LEATHER, SHOE FINDINGS Ind SADDLERY
HARDWARE.
II. II. l.. HardeuburZh q Co.
scheffer & KOssuu.
Chss. q. Schmidt.
PAPER AND STATIONERY.
AyeriiI. Carpenter & Co
Ward, Hill & Mcclellan.
Pioneer Press Co.
BOOKS, PAPER AND STATIONERY
st. Paul Book 3 Stationery Co.
CLOTHING AND FURNISHING GOODS
II. e.. Burbank
MEMS FURNISHING GOODS.
Guitermsn Bros.
TAIL0RS TRIMMINGS IND W00LENS.
Yallop, DeGroot & Co.
RUBBER GOODS IND Betting.
st. Paul Rubber Co
Goodyear Rubber Co.
CIGARS AMP TOBACCOS
WhIteman Bros.
Q. ~. MeLain.
NOTIONS AND COUNTER SUPPLIES
ID. sonmers 3 Co.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Sweet is revenge especially to women"
said the gifted but naughty, Lord Byron.
Surely he was In bad humor when he wrote
such words. But there are complaints that
only women suffer. that are carrying num-
beers IF them down TO early graves. There
Is hone for those who suffer, no matter how
sorely, or severely. in DIR. R. Y. Pierce's
.FavOrite Prescription" safe il its action
IL Is a blessing specially 70 tr0Hgsg and to men,
is askew.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

'Tis Frequently Recommended.--Mr Fl.
G. Mooney, of Astoria, Ill, writes US that
Aliens Lung Balsam, which he has sold
for fifteen years, sells better than any
other cough remedy, and gives general
satisfaction. IT'S frequently recommended
by the medical profession here.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

A countryman who had been to see
Hamlet went into a bookstore the fol
lowing day aud bought copy of the play.
"By the way. he said, 'swho writ Ham
lctt-'
That is disputed question, " replied the
bookseller. Some people think Shakes
peare wrote il, while Others believe that
Bacon was the responsible one. You pay
your money aud YOU take your choice
well, said the countryman, as he
turned 10 60, whoever he was he was a
burned smart Teller"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

..Hov Is your son doing. afr smith. who
went 90 Nvy York few years ago
He mas m1la a name FOR himself said
Mr. Smith.
Indeed In what wave
III uwlar~l ud tie calls himself SmvtLe-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

After being victim Of severe rheuma-
tlsm for three years. | was induced to try
Athlophoros, and am now glad TO state that
am free from pain. Mary l. Whiting, $40
University avenue, Madison, Wis, one Of
the oldest residents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Tie Chicago News tells q good story.
Manager Mcconnell - the Columhis
Theatre avs there i Que lady in Tins
-ily, who when she visits the theatre.
always comes before the audience Is
seated. She used to have a bad habit
Of waiting until everybody else was set
tied for the evening, and then coming in
and raising commotion in getting 10
her seat. One evening she came in As
usual. and after standing in the aisle
long enough &c show an elegant new
cloak. disturbed a whole row of people,
who had 10 move 10 let her pass To her
seat. When she was comfortably seated,
and everything was quiet, a little wO-
man in the next row back said 10 her
companion in sharp whisper that could
Ice heard throughout that portion of the
mouse: Poor thing, Is'pose they made
her stay and do up the supper dishc,.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

John B. Cough, the far-famed lecturer,
excused himself u an audience because Of
a bad cold then started for Egypt IN the
hope Of getting rid 0f il. Egypt contains
no Femety more certain in Its result than
DR.. RnIEs Cnugh SErun.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Orangic weakness or loss of
power in either sex, however induced,
speedily and permanently cured. Enclose
10 cents in stamps for book of particulars.
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
Buffalo n. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
Eut I've got On mine :

Tine Ross ziac AMI leather ankle, boots
aud - - pads are trc best aud most dur
able HARNESS makers are instructed 70
tax. t.i.1.. i.s..s after "a trial OF 40 DAYS II
voa are uut satisfied Manufactured by
Dexter Curtis Madison, Wis.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

3ERS. 1885.
MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
Robinson & Cary.
Rogers, Willis 4 Co.
Sampbsil, Walsh q Jilson.
Wood AID IRON PUMPS AND PLUMBERS
SUPPLIES.
II. 2. Rurg s Co.
SCALES, WINDMILLS. ETC.
Fairbanks, Morse s Co.
MILLINERY AID FANCY GOODS.
A. Oppenheimer < Co.
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
Rthan Ford
". }. Dyer & Fro.
FRUITS, NUTS, ETC
Presley & Co.
FURNITURE
0uinby & Abbott.
CRACKERS And CONFECTIONERY.
Rerri-frrd n. & &. Co.
PriedeInan & Lewis.
DOORS, SASH AND BLINDS.
Bohn Manufacturing Co.
T. a. Abbott g. Co.
WAGONS And AGRl ILTURAL IMPLEMENTS.
Mast. Buford & Bus veil Co.
&. B. Thurs9on & son.
}. II. MAILER Co.
st. Paul storage, Forwarding & ImPIs.
ment Co.
VINES IND LIQUORS.
Perkins, Lyons & Co.
Geo. Benz s Co.
erals kND COMMISSION.
Griggs Bros.
w. a. Van slyke q Co.
FLOUR.
st Paul Roller Ssh CO.
ROOFING, C0RNICES AND MACHINERY.
seribaer-Libbey Co.
LUMBEk
j. =. Grlbben Lumber Co.
Rood g. Maxwell
r.. T. Sumwalt.
G. y. Nelson Lumber Co.
w. +. Fifieid & Co.
John Martin Lumber Co
LIE. CEMENT AND PLASTER.
abe Northwestern Lime Co.
FUEL.
81. Paul Pacific Coal 8 Iron Co.
North Western Fuel Co.
TRUNKS, ETC
III. s. crippen B Co.
SEWING MACHINES.
Domestic s. n. Co.
STEAM FITTING, TOOLS LgD SUPPLIES
Z. #. Osborne.
GUNS, PISTOLS AND SPORTING GOODS.
IL f. Kennedy 3 Bros.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Young husband with WY ace1-What
in the dev-woTli is this, my dear, fish
Young wife-Yes it's mackereL You
said YOU We're very fond of saltwater fish,
and SO l didn put it in s1ak.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Diseased nature oftentimes breaks foN>h
in strange eruptions.n and the result Of IL
ali is pain. Now Salvation Oh viii send
this very pain 60 the right about ct the
trifing cost OF only % cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

We cannot renew youth, but we can
prevent gray hair by using Halls Hair
Remover.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Time is money. they say. And we have
often observed that il takes q good deal OF
money % hsve good time.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

st. Jacobs Oil reaches the spot direct by
external application, and drives away all
pain.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
An Advantage.

.-How beautiful il is this morning, Cicely,
my dear, said Ter intimate friend, as she
called for her to take a morning walk.
You viii wear your new spring suit to-day.
~ course e.
No. indeed
.Iut I've got Oh mine
That's Just the reason. Don't You sup
pose / know the power Of contrast. l shall
wear my new suit alongside Of a rusty win
ter suit when 10 wear IL
Then / shall have the advantage this
time, was the reply.
Somehow. It had never seemed in that
light % Cicely, aud. rather than give her
friend such an obnoxious opportunity, she
iGnued the new suit. and the two sailed I,p
rue street like Greek goddesses modified by
modern fashion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

The rage for old gold seems to have pass
ed away, but the enthusiasm for old green
backs continues undated.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

The life Of man consists not in seeing
visions and in dreaming dreams, but In ac-
tive charity and willing service.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18
RITTERS.

II you Wish certain cure for all BLOOD
diseases. Nothing was ever invented that VII
cleanse tbs Blood and purify the System equal
- AOps and MALI EBigters. i 9ORes
Up tho syaeoEts puts new Hood IL your
rciuss restores year lost appetite ana
sleep, sid brings you perfect health. i
aevss falls 70 give relief .H all cases Of kidney
CT Liver Trouble :, EfliOusaess, RnGi-
EeH&som, Constipation, SIX Headaches. Dye
pcpssa. Nervous Gisords-s and all FeF1GIa
Comps aiE'Tsi when prop Wy taken 10 e
cure. thousands have been benefited by 90
2 this and othsT western States. II is lie best
Combination OF Vegetable remedies ns yer
discovered Ter fi1e restoration TO health o. the
Weak and Eebiisfade&. Do not get Hons
ana HALT Eitters COMPOUNDED with ir}
ror preparations OF similar name. ] prescribe
Hops & Malt Bitters regularly in my practice.
ko0aTt Turner. =. D., Flst Rock, Mich. For sais
By Gil druggists.
HOPS & EALT BITTERS CO, 1uFsn. nez
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

ton. ID. G. analytical chemist, certifies
that Red Star Cough Cure is free from
pOisous, opiates and emetics; and is as
harmless as it is effective. Price twenty
I've cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Where 80 you expect this money
f.am9' asked clerk in the money
order department Of the Detroit post
Office Of woman who presented an
order for SIS.
Prom Chicago.
And who frOm?
john Williams.
.-Ahem. gaess it IS all right.
On. know it Isl she exclaimed As
she signed her name. He used to be
ms husband. He offered me 500 dol
lars il ! would throw up all claim On
him, ana this Is the second inst5llment.
III pro ably get The rest in about two
weeks.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

a wi5e-spreaiiug hopeful disposition Is
vour ONLY true umbrella IN this vale Of
tears.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

Ayers Pills are never-failing remedy
for headaches, caused by a disordered
stomach.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-03-18

sts= n aaHa aEEa - .
--r= sl tonic, E.r-asel
Gle -E the
Reg arL E-s=- aud sFl
ra-tar Eeaa loss ever lost.
Vinegar EEIffsFs istac
rEi flE
promo ETrg
EaE ard -Ie=sa-l. F. t1s
.F-sl u-w-rs
The Dillon tribune., 1886-05-08
Reform in u New Direction.

The female stenographer is the most sue
cessful evangelist of the age As rule,
all the ladies' IF this class are dignif1etl re-
served, and possess not only good moral
character, but an atmosphere of refinement
and purity that exerts II great influence in
winning the respect of male associates
Already the several hundred girls whoare
writing shorthand and manipulating type
writers in the offices of st. Louis have
wrought wonderful changes iii the Ian
guage and actions of the young men who
surround them. One thing they do effect
ually is to suppress profanity. There is no
cursing or blasphemy in the offices where
these ladies' work. Miss went to work
in II railroad office several weeks ago.
where the clerks cursed swore. and wcr.
obscene in their language to such an en-
tent that it Was thought we'll to advise the
young lady of this fact. She said she'd
giveit Il trial, anyhow, and went | was
surprised to learn that since Miss IS adj,
vent in that Office not one single cuss word
has been heard. and the compensation is a.
pure and unadorned as if it all fell from q
church pulpit.-Merchant in Globe Dem
Ocrat.
The Dillon tribune., 1886-05-08
When Talkative Man subsidized.

Reference to the Vanderbilt pictures re-
calls good story Of the dead millionaire.
who was more famous for good nature
than calstic wit One day when his
gallery was open to visitors. along cam.
man with a glib tongue. lot, Of enthusi-
asm, and dirty hands. He posed critic
ally before picture after picture, and his
soiled hands again and again came in con-
tact with the rich frames and even the
canvasses Mr. Vanderbilt looked on
askance: he did not like to say anything
harsh, and yet he feared for his pictures
Finally the visitor turned to Mr.. Wander.
bilt. who near by was conversing with
personal friends while lie furtivcly
watched the spotted hands and drupe,
finger nails.
"You have wonderful gallery. the man
calculated, IA wonderful gallery, sir; why
when ! stood before that picture he
pointed to a sad-faced Madonna-"when |
stood before that picture, sir, was so
touched that the tears came rushing into
my eyes like hood--like a flood, Sir: |
wept SO freely"-he went ol-"I wept st,
freely that ! could have washed my hands
in my tears, Sir; wash"
why didn't your" said the millionaire
calmly.
The talkative man glazed at himself in
spots, subsidized, and Rehabilitation" in
New York Times.