davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02
Woman.
Cincinnati Enquirer.

A handsome woman is dangerous.
Woman is the sweetest and bitterest
gift of God to man.
A woman has neither love nor respect
for the man she can rule.
One bad woman can keep whole
neighborhood in hot water.
A woman who is not jealous OF her
husband is not in love with him.
This world is full of beautiful women,
but a truly good woman is rarity.
Two things always trained for action
-woman's tongue and a mules heels.
Nine cases out of ten when woman
says she hates man she is in love with
him.
A woman will confess to almost any
thing but to the fact that she is growing
old and ugly.
The devil is never as black as he is
painted, and woman is never as inno-
cent as she appears.
If you want to keep woman's love
keep up slight but steady Irritation
with her most hated rival.
When a woman gives you her love
don't lay it away on ice for safe-keep-
ing. Better keep it in the warmest
corner of your heart, so if she calls fol-
it at any time you can return it in the
condition size gave it to you.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

b6eD. L. Moody says: Il believe
that it is just as good to sing as it is to
preach the gospel. Men like singing
as we'll as they like preaching. All we
want is to get the gospel down into
their hearts,.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

b9r'Yes, am opposed to girls mar
ryin' furriners,' said old Mrs. Sipes.
'I'm jist that opposed to it that if my
girls can't marry people of their own
sex they needn't marry at all, and that's
all about it
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02
Some Points About Feet.
San francisco Chronicle.

San francisco CHTOWCtes
don't believe that it is when wo-
man has a small foot that she wants to
show it Just a little. l am open to Sc
rious correction, but there seems to be
quite a satisfaction to woman in know
ing that she has a pretty foot, and
woman has way anyhow of believing
everybody knows what she knows, un-
less it be secret. Then she never be-
lieves that anybody else knows 1t even
if she's told by them dozen times.
But when woman has small foot and
has had it all her life, and known it and
been told about it for twenty years.
beg pardon, no lady is ever over that
age, say ten years-she gets so accus-
toned to it that it ceases to be piece
even of her vanity. It's the woman
with the long foot and the high insteP
that wants to show them. The high instep
sometimes goes before a fall, and that S
why people with high insteps are always
said to have plenty of pride. When a
woman has succeeded in pinching big
foot into very small shoe she does not
propose that all that trouble is to be
gone to and all that agony suffered for
nothing. So she always makes it point
of having it displayed somehow. beg
pardon of the ladies for thus drawing
attention to something l have no bust
ness with. 1 think the rudest thing l
ever heard of was what one of the papers
said about Mrs. Langtry, that after one
of her scenes several of the ladies threw
flowers at her feet. Mobbing her was
all very we'll but throwing flowers at hel
feet was carrying things too far, and an
outrage. Did you ever see woman try
on pair of shoesr You have! Then
you're either married or engaged in
shoe store, | hope.
She had lovely foot and her visitors
were admiring it. They were ladies o
course. A man who is not shoemake
dares not mention such a thing unless
they are alone in a dim corner OF tht
drawing room where nobody can over
hear.
sWhat beautiful foot you have, dear?
yes; pa says when we go to Europe
he'll have bust of it made Song!
na-Watch and prey-A New York
gentleman in a crowd felt somebody
Juggling at his watch chain. He die
not get excited or angry, but merel,
said quietly to the pickpocket.
Waterbury,
Excuse me- replied the light finger
ed gentleman, as he moved away.
B@'Have you seen Jones wife? ask
ed Gilhooly of Gus De Smith.
'Yes, saw her few days ago.
is she pretty2'
Il don't like to express an opinion
All know is that if it was love mate
it settled the question in my mind abou
love being blind
BH- Show me father who fences hi
home around with Gods command
ments, and lights it up with domesti
comforts and pleasures, and anchor
himself to his home, and l will sho
you the best kind of restraint from dar
gerous evening resorts.
: B@-It is of the bounty of nature tn;
} we live, but of the philosophy that "
live we'll which is in truth, a create
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

H@ Every man who rises above the
common level receives two educations.
First, from his instructors, the second !,
the most personal and important, from
| himself.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

D@rLet grace and goodness be the
principal load-stone of thy affections.
For love which hath ends will have an
end, whereas that which is founded on
true virtue will always continue.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02
The Soil Down East.
Boston Record.

Boston Record.
There was living in the edge of Way
land few years ago, quaint and some
what original old gentleman of the
name of Adams, known to all the neigh
borhood for miles around by his HARM
less, but sometimes amusing peculiarities.
Gus Somerby, whose early death few
months ago deprived the Middlesex bar
of one of its brightest lawyers, and So
ciety of one the best of good fellows,
used to tell story about the old gen.
tleman which will bear repeating.
The squire was driving toward Way
land early one summer morning, when
he discovered Mr.. Adams making his
way to field, with the necessary haying
tools-a jug and scythe-and stopped
to have chat with him. The soil in
that part of country is very thin and
sandy, and the hay crop always light,
and the good-humored lawyer took &C.
casion to remark upon the fact and to
pity the farmers who were obliged to
wiring scanty living from such barren
acres. The old gentleman heard him
patiently for time, but at length broke
! out:
"Look here, squire, you're wasting
your sympathy; amt so cussed poor
as you think I AMI don't own this
| farm
Returning toward evening, Gus
looked out again for the old man, and
at length discovered him, crawling on
all fours between scattered haycocks to-
ward home, a method of locomotion
rendered necessary by the faithfulness
with which he had attended to the jug
part of his outfit during the day. Stop
ping his horse, the lawyer hailed the old
gentleman, and offered to come over
and assist him to his feet.
with as much dignity as his attitude
and general condition would permit,
the fallen agriculturalist waved him away,
and shouted hack: keep off o here
faint safe! The soils so thin here, now
the crops off, that it won't bear man
end-ways; much as ever it'll keep me
up Halfway"
W. OO yOu WOu tdhC wv wv 49,
seven dollar?'
mo, guess not.
'Vhell, we shall call it six, though
lose by it.
mo, guess not
Say five und half2'
mo; I'll look around little
what peesness vhas you in, my frient7
Il sell grindstones.'
ooh, you dor
'Why?'
ooh, nothing, except dot when lik'
grindstone 1 look aroundt leedle
tool
b9rA colored church member wit
had given up strong drink after praying
for strength to do so, said: "Now,
she says, 'dere's one ting more-daf
te,baeker. 1 know de Lord will he'll
to stop, but I don't feel like axlng iii,
as did afore.''
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

NARA countryman and his son put
up at city hotel. Son out seeing the
town. Old gent comes down from his
room at midnight and says to the night
clerk
HAS my son come in yeta'
Night Clerk-'Guess not. Haven't
seen him.
Old Gent-'Well, you needn't set up
for him any longer.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

B9rNo woman is educated who is not
equal to the successful management of
a family.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

B@-It is of the bounty of nature that
we live, but of the philosophy that we
live we'll which is in truth, a greater
benefit than life itself.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

saF Show me father who fences his
home around with Gods command
ments, and lights it up with domestic
comforts and pleasures, and anchors
himself to his home, and l will show
you the best kind of restraint from dan
gerous evening resorts.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

@A colored church member who
had given up strong drink after praying
for strength to do so, said: "Now,
she says, 'dere's one ting more-dafS
tey6aeker. 1 know de Lord will help
to stop, but don'tJ feel like axing Him
as did afore.'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-10-02

B@ Have you seen Jones' wife2' ask
ed Gilhooly of Gus De Smith.
Eyes, 1 saw her few days ago.
is she prettya'
Il don't like to express an opinion.
All know is that if it was love match
it settled the question in my mind about
love being blind
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11

fact Is, I'm too tired to eat" Long after she
might have delegated this duty 70 others, she
would not be satisfied unless she attended to the
matter herself. In fact we all preferred to
have her do SO, for somehow things tasted bet
ter when she prepared them Some time ago,
In an express train, / shot passed that old home
stead. looked out of the window, and tried TO
peer through the darkness. While was doing
so. one Of :. my old schoolmates, whom
had not seen for many years, tapped me on the
shoulder and sad DE Witt, l see you are
looking out at the scenes of your boyhood. y
"Oh. yes" replied, II was looking out at the
old place where my mother lived and died. >
That night, in the cars, the whole came
back to me. There was the country home.
There was the MONDAY table. There were the
children on either side of the table, most of
them gone, never to come back At one end of
the table, my father, with a smile that never
left his countenance even when he lay in his
coffin. 1t was an eighty six years smile--nv.
the smile of inanimation, but of Christian cour-
age and of Christian hope. At the other end of
the table was beautiful, benignant, hard work
ing aged Christian housekeeper, my mother.
She was very tired / am glad she has 80 good
a place to rest in. ssBlessed are the dead VINO
die in the Lord; they rest from their labors, and
their works do follow them"
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
A Kentuckian Not a Colonel.

washington Letter.
Did you hear about Theodore Hallam getting
appointed 'MistecP" said a gentleman to friend
in a hotel lobby this evening
NO." was the reply; ''tell US about it,"
"Welln continued the Kentuckian, we'll
known Covingtonian, "Hallam is very bright
man; would be in Congress, I reckon, were he
not in the same district with Carlisle, and may
be, sometime, anyway, though he and Carlisle
great friends
Some time ago somebody called Hallam Col
onel, and he professed to be greatly alarmed at
the prospect of getting mixed in and his identity
lost with the great myriads of Kentucky colopels.
So he applied to the present Governor, who was
then running for the Office for an appointment
on his staff, with the title Of Mister The
pledge was kept, and Hallam now has his COM
mission. made out in due form. with seal and
signature, regularly appointing Hon. L. #. Hal
lam to position on the staff of the Governor,
with the rank and title of Mister Hallam
claims to be the only man of that rank and title
in Kentucky"
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
why MIR. Cleveland win Not Marry.

Cleveland Leader
Old friends of Cleveland whisper emphatically
that the President will never marry. They say
that the only woman that the President ever
really loved has been in her grave for more than
twenty-five years. He met her. they say, when
he was a school teacher in a little
town of New York, when the down had
just begun to come upon his lip. and she was
sweet sixteen They loved. but were too poor
to marry. Cleveland had decided to 90 West to
make a fortune. when his sweetheart became
sick and, within a few days, died. James Bu-
chanan's love Tilted him when he was a young
man, and he never courted another. Fillmore
had much the same experience of Cleveland, in
that he was too poor to marry when he first fell
in love. He went off and spent three years in
Buffalo without seeing his sweetheart. because
he was too poor to pay the travelling expenses of
$50 miles which lay between them.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
ADMIRAL sHuFELDrs STORY.
How He Was Received When He Br0ugt
News of Steamships Safety.

How He Was Received When He Brought
News of a Steamships Safety.
New York Herald.
Admiral Shufeldt told story the other even
ing apropos of the accident to the Britannia that
Is well worth repeating He was first officer of
the Collins steamship Atlantic, having obtained
leave of absence from the navy, when the mem
orable mishap occurred that caused her to be an
nounced as lost. 1--WE had fair passage from
Liverpool" said the Admiral, until we reached
the banks of Newfoundland, where, III the
midst of gale and in heavy sea. the
the emergency. He went into the main rigging
and had himself lashed there to save himself from
being tossed overheard by the rolling of the ship
There be remained for twenty four hours get
ting the sails set. He ate biscuits side
of his mouth, chewed tobacco on the other, and
gave his orders with his lips calmly if on the
bridge For week we tried to make our way
to New York, but 1t was no use. Then we hove
away for Liverpool. We recrossed the ocean
and reached the Mersey just the Cunarder
Africa was about sailing for New York Captain
West sent me home in her in charge of the At
lantic passengers, and with dispatch to the
owners giving full account of the accident.
On the voyage prepared four copies of
rative of our voyage, and when the Africa an
chored off the Battery | was sent ashore in a
small boat.
II went to the newspaper offices with my mar
ratives. Remember, this was before the days of
as lost At one newspaper Office I was offered
$1,000 if I would give my account to them ex
clusively. Tempting as the offer was. gave my
story to all the papers. Thence l went to the
Astor House. The proprietor took me by the
arm, and said: you must go with me- Not
knowing where. was taken to the private en-
trance to Burtons Theater, then on Chambers
street We went behind the scenes, and he in
troduced me to Burton. The latter was greatly
excited by the news.
"'Stand here moment, said he, and before
knew what was contemplated he rushed upon
the stage, and stopped the play then in prog
reSs
." I know you will pardon me- he said to the
audience. when | tell you that the steamship
Atlantic is safe in Liverpool; that her passen-
gers have Just reached New York; that have
her first officer here with me. and now have
the honor to introduce him to YOU l was stand
ing before the audience before / knew it. They
all rose in their seats, and cheered and cheered
till they were hoarse. l never witnessed such
a scenen
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
Henry M. staniey's Parentage.

Somebody has thought it worth while to send
by cable the report that an old lady dying in
England had declared herself to be the mother
of Henry NJ. Stanley, and thus is likely to be re-
vived all the ancient gossip touching Sranleys
nationality and parentage Stanley never dis
owned his parentage. but he kept it shady simply
because he was at one time shallow enough to
imagine that to give the Livingtone adventure
its greatest effect in this country it ought to be
believed that the adventurous correspondent was
an American. AS matter of fact. he was as En-
glish as roast beef and plum. pudding could make
him
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
s'Playing for Keeps"

springfield Republican.
A small boy having highly respectable parents
brought home a bag of marbles. and on being
played ''for keeps" He was lectured on the sin
of gambling and forced to return his ill-gotten
gains. A night or two later progressive euchre
party was in order and the prizes bought for the
occasion stirred the family pride to consider.
and then went to bed previous to the guests ar
rival. In the morning the prizes were nowhere
to be seen, and on inquiring as to their disposi-
tion he was told that the people who won them
had carried them away. Then he naturally
asked: Isn't that playing for keepsqn
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
vanderbilt's Shaving Cup.

New York Times.
AS climbed into the BARRIERS chair of an up-
town hotel one morning, recently, nv eye fell
upon a china cup bearing in bold Gothic letters
this names s'William III. Vanderbilt" It was q
cheap-locking dish. Other cups surrounding Ii
were ornate in gilt. while this wore only its
modest black letters.
''Mr Vanderbilt bought that cup here several
years ago." said my communicative knight of the
and lather brush, ''but it has not been
used for a long time. For over year before he
died he was shaved at his home every morning
1t took good WHILE though, for him to consent
to give up coming to the BARRIERS shop. His
tastes In this matter proved that he had good
deal of democracy in his nature. He hated to
have barber coming up to his house every day,
he said; IL looked as though he were trying to
put on airs or were too feeble TO walk out Mr.
Vanderbilt was not always on the double-quick,
like most other rich men, and really believe he
liked to take his chance in BARRIERS shop; and
he never complained because he happened to
have to wait "A barber's shop. he told me once,
was the best place in the world to study human
nature"
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
Lots Boycott Everything.

Brooklyn Eagle.
Lady Of Industry to husband-You must send
home barrel Of -four. There isn't spoonful
in the house.
knight of Labor-Can't do it; no -four to be
had.
l.. of Plenty at the grocer's
K. of L.-All under boycott for keeping open
fifteen hours day.
l.. of L-Go to the mills then.
K. of L.-Theyre boycotted for buying wheat
of farmers who work fourteen hours day.
Il. of L--Then patronize the feed store
K. of Cant he buys his -four at the boy
cotted mills
L. of i-Then what are we going to live onY
X. of Live on the boycott What do you
want with -four anyhow9 What's the matter
with good plain bread2
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
Lost, but Easily Found.

The chambermaid spilled paper of tacks
Over the chamber floor;
And in picking them up she was very lax
Over the chamber floor.
And lots of them braced themselves up in the cracks
And more of them lay on the broad of their backs,
Pointing upward as stern facts,
Over the chamber foor
The good man made his way in at night
Over the chamber hoor
His feet were loose though his head was tight
Over the chamber floor.
He left his boots on the lower fight.
And every tack that the maid did slight
He easily found without light
Over the chamber floor.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
They Like the Title.

darper'S BaZar.
Two newly-fedged physicians met the other
day, and the following highly interesting conver-
saton ensued
"Ah! good morning, doctor"
'Good morning DOCTOR
"Aud how are you to-day, doctorls
''First-rate and how are you. doctors"
sI'm all right Got good case of meningitis
at your hospital, doctor9'
Yes; come down and take a look at it, doctor.
Anything special up your way doctorp
"Man fell from scaffolding two days ago; still
alive; may get over it. Pleased to have you cali,
doctor"
''Thank you; will, doctor. Good day, doc
tor"
"Good day, DOCTOR"
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11

There is princess in the South
About whose beauty rumors hum
As honey-bees about the mouth
OF roses dewdrops falter from;
And o her hair is like the fine
Clear amber of jostled wine
In tropic revels; and her eyes
Are blue as riffs of Paradise.
Sucn beauty as may none before
kneel daringly, to kiss the tips
Of fingers such as knights of yore
Had died to lift against their lips:
Such eyes as might the eyes of gol
Of all the stars of night behold
With glittering envy, and so glare
In dazzling splendof Of despair.
So were but minstrel. deft
AT weaving, with the trembling strings
OF my glad harp the warp and weft
Of rondels such as rapture sings
Id loop my Tyre across my breast,
Nor stay me till my knee found rest
In midnight banks of bud and flower
Beneath my ladys lattics.bowef.
And there, drenched with the teary dews,
I'd WOO her with such wondrous art
As we'll might stanch the songs that ooze
Out of the mockbird 5 breaking heart;
So slight so tender, and so sweet
Should be the words would repeat,
Her easement on my gradual sight.
Would blossom as lily might.
james Whitcomb Riley
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
She Played Not by Muscle, but For It.

Boston Budget.
One of the leading teachers of the violin in
Boston-and in America-relates that young
woman came to him for instructions, and after
lesson two, he very frankly and honestly
said to her,
'It is of no use for me to teach you. The sim.
pie fact is, you have no musical ear"
"Oh know that" she returned, with the ut
most sweetness and candor.
but why" he asked, in astonishment easily
imagined, do you como to me If you know you
have no earl"
"Oh it is because of my health" answered the
interesting pupil "My doctors say there is
nothing good for my dyspepsia as the exercise
or the arms GET In violin pIAy1ng.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11

chicago IriDUn6.
''What do you think, Daniel, of the demands
of the Indiana delegation that shall make an
editor from that State Public Printergp
Il have had some editorial experience, your
Excellency, and / am inclined to believe you
would make great mistake by giving it to any
one who has been in the habit of taking cord
wood on subscription
Dir. Rounds is still Public Printer.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11

whats in a name?'' the poet cried
Sometimes less than is implied;
Sometimes all and more beside.
Tell me. Indiana, why
Thy name, SO like lullaby
Droned in wigwam to pappoose.
Seemeth unto me a trucei
Is it that the soothing word
Musical as song of bird
Seeks to mask In melody
What we should not know
Face of nature, solemn, proud,
Wrapped in blanket Of the cloud,
Fallow-feld and tangled mead
Arrow-heads their barren seed,
Swamp in ambush stealthy creek
Stealing through the meadow sleek;
Crafty snake that wimples by;
Lake that sleeps with open eye;
Sandy soil the foot sinks in
Noiselessly as moccasin.
Ushered by frown or SMILE
Stalk the seasons Indian fle
Forest flowers of love and spring;
Young brave, happily summering,
Turns and beckons all too soon
Paleface of the harvest moon
Secretly, twixt dark and dawn,
India-like is summer gone
Blood upon the trail is met
In the sullen, red sunset.
Shivering trees their mantles lose
Curling leaves, like weird canoes
Driving here and driving there,
Sail the currents of the air;
Fade the embers of life's fire;
Falls the fountain of desire;
Enter fever, famine, drought;
Melancholy prowls about.
Drip the night dews, chilly, damp,
In the deserted camp;
Wampum of the wthered cone
Hangs in pinetree lodge, alone.
Through the branches savage fleet.
Tear the tomahawks o the sleet
And the frantic bows now toss
Many scalp-lock of torn moss.
Come. rebellious brotherhood
Warpaint of tn autumnal wood
War-whoop of the wintry wind
Wardance of the SHOWS that blind,
Swell the bitter, wild, intense
Pow-wow of the elements.
These, thy phases, treacherous clime~.
Save in Indian-summer time,
When warm hazy days abound;
And the poet seeks in rhyme
Peacepipe and happy hunting ground.
Charles Warren Stoddard.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11

and the banquct shat followed ii, but failed to
say that the speeches after the banquet were,
with ono exception, favored with the bitterest
feeling toward President Cleveland. ZIsKA.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11

Vienna has had the longest winter In fifty
years. The plains of Hungary had on March Ia
been covered with snow since the middle Of De-
cember.
The Indianapolis journal., 1886-04-11
WHIM MSICALITIES.
An Unjust Discrimin a ton.

Atlanta Constitution.
All the fashions are for slender women. Thl
fact leaves the fat females to waddle about al
best they can. We extend our coincidence.