News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-03-04
HE TRIED HOUsETORK.
A Farmer who Changed Places with his
Wife for One Day.

There was once o man who was cross
and peevish because he thought his wife
never did enough in the house.
He came home one evening from the
bayfield, cursing and scolding, till things
seemed to fairly glow around him.
Dear, don't be SO angry" said the
work. I will go out with the hay
workers and NOW, while you do the
work at home"
Yes, the man thought this a good
idea, and was very willing to show her
q thing or two.
So early in the morning the woman
took the scythe and went out in the
meadow with the rest to NOW. Tho
man was there to work in the house.
First he made ready to churn; but after
churnlng awhile, feeling very thirsty, he
went down to the cellar to tap some
beer. While doing this he heard the
pig in the kitchen. He ran upstairs,
leaving the faucet open. At the sight
of him the pig ran against the churn
with disastrous consequences. When
the man saw this mischief done and the
pig greedily smacking and slipping of
the stream that ran over the floor, he
was ready to fly with rage, and, COM
pletely forgetting the beer barrel, he
punished the pig as best he could. He
reached it again in the door and gave
mighty kick that killed it ON the spot.
Now he remembered leaving the
faucet open, but on going to the cellar
all the beer had run out. He then
went to the milk-room, and again
found enough cream to fill the churn,
for butter he must have for dinner.
When he had churned awhile he remem-
bered that the COW was yet in the stable
and had received neither bite nor sup,
though it was late in the day. Think
ing that it would take too long to go
to the pasture, he concluded to put her
on the sod roof on which he grew short
green grass. AS the hut lay by steep
side hill, he thought by laying plank
from that to the roof, it would bo
easy to get the COW up. But he dared
not leave the churn, for the baby was
crawling around on the floor, and might
upset it; so he took the churn on his
back, thinking he would give the COW
some water before putting her on the
roof. Leaning down to dip water from
the we'll, down came the contents of the
churn, deluging his head and neck,
then dripping into the well.
1t was now near dinner time, and as
there was no butter he thought of cook
ing mush, and Immediately hung ket.
tie of water over the fire. But now he
bcthought himself that tho cow might
fall off the roof and break her legs or
neck, so he must go up to tie her. One
end of the rope he bound around the
cows neck. and dropping the other
through the chimney, he wont down and
tied it around his leg, tor the water
was boiling In the kettlo and be must
make the mush. While doing this the
COW fell off the roof and dragged him
up the chimney by the rope. There he
hung, prisoner, while the poor COW
dangled between heaven and earth, able
neither to go up nor down.
The wife had waited seven long and
broad hours to DO called to dinner, but
no summons caInc. At last she thought
it was too long, and finally went home.
Upon seeing the cow hanging in such
remarkable manner, she quickly cut the
rope with her soythe. At the same
moment tho man fell down the chimney,
and his wife found him standing on his
head in the mush kettle.
Thus ended the woful experiences of
o man who found fault with his wife,
and as this type of the ge'aus homo is not
confined to ono nation alone, let every
man addicted to a similar practice take
solemn warning.-The H0use6eeper.