The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-23
POSTPONED.

Aito oASASpoSSs
Just then a great noise was heard out
side, and the president demanded the
cause of it.
"News has just been received" ex-
planned one of the younger professors,
alphabetically, s'that our men have
wrestcd the football championship from
Princeton"
Good! y shouted the president, flush
ing with excitement, II didn't dare
hope it. l think, gentlemen, VIC had
better not be oo-cr-hasty in this
matter. "-Lye.
HThere is another cold wave coming"
remarked Mr.. Fanglc to his wife last
night"
"Whcrc from" asked the lady.
''From the Northwest, where they all
come from"
"Why do all the cold waves come
from the Northwest, my dcar?'
ooh, because there is SO much cool
ness between st. Paul and Minneapolis"
-I'ttsburyh Chronicle.
THINKS WELL. OF TIE
"Shinc 'em uppa9" said an Italian
bootblack to Pat, just landed.
"Phat's the charger" asked Pat.
give %ccnta."
"Bcgorra," said Pat, as he seated
himself in the clair, cit is a foinc coun-
thry, Amcriky, where Il poor Oirishman
can get his boots BACKED by a gintle-
nan wild goold rings in his cars."-N.
7. San.
He PITIED HIM.
Ncwsboy-Papcr, sir?
Irasciblc Old Gcntlcman-No; l don't
read the papers.
Newsboy (commlseratingly) HIN!
That so2 Too bad. My eddication wuz
neglected, too, when l wuZ a little fell
Ter, but 1 pulled up for it by goin' to
night school and ~lcarnin' to read.-Bos-
ton Courier.
A PRECoCIOUs YOUTH
"What are you waiting for, little boy2"
inquired a kindly old gentleman of a
street urchin who was watching each
passer-by intently.
"Waitin' fer a long-whiskercd gent
smokin' a scegar. Then I'll follcr him
an git the stub"
"Do long-whiskercd men smoke bet
ter cigars"
"Naw, but dcy don't smoke 'em so
short"
Ice is king. Hank the ring-steel and
laughter music bring. Off they 90
through the snow, jolly skaters-belle
and beau. Happy boy, maiden coy,
plumber, iceman, full of joy; million.
aire, lady fairc, gliding, whirling, happy
paire. Eyes so true, noses blue, g~listen.
~sparkle-pas dc deux. Kick up heels,
joyous squcals. Ali. what life tho
skater feels!-N. Y. Journal.
DIsREGARDED.
Eugenia-Ah, papa, sec what Fred
gave me for New Ycar's-a beautiful
plaque of papier machc.
Stern PARENT don't care to look at
the thing. I thought 1 told you not to
have anything to do with any more
mashes2
DOTS N DAsiIES.
81 A give you a cold bite" said the
m why not warm it up?" asked
the tramp. There amt any wood
sawed" "That so? Well, give it me
cold"
THE song says: "Thcre are no birds
in last years nest" And it is mighty
lucky for the birds, too! They would
have frozen to death during the present
cold spell.
81 CONSIDER him a bold, arrogant
man, eyes, l know he is now, but he
won't be very long" "And why not, !
should like to know?" "He is to be
married next week"
Do LEWIS thinks people should go to
bed at 9 and get up Mt 5. The unso.
phisticated doctor doesn't appear to be
aware that it is between those hours
that all the fun comes Off.
A s~TATIsTICIAN has calculated that a
man spends 80 per year more for clothes
than a woman. That is easily explained.
1t is because the man is too mean tn
give woman more to spend.
PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY FOR EDrroRs.
Yer ken make mo- enemies by dom,
favors den yer ken by rcfusin' EN-. Ell
yer wants or pusson ter hate yer, put
him un'er oblcrgations ter yer.
CUSTOMER Tin Observation-Disclosures
this chicken soup has feathers in it.
Waiter-Yes. sab. If yo' want soup
made outen chickens dat am old 'nough
to be bald. sab, yo'l have to go to som;
OQdcr establishment.
A. A train was pulling out of Palmyra
a New York beer brewer said to the
conductor: "What kind of vines are
those, conductor2 1 have noticed a
great n of them since leaving Bata.
wa" "Hop vines" said the conductor.
A WASHINGTON correspondent swears
that but one man on the House Com.
mittee on Shipbuilding evcr saw a big
ship. That's all right. We want oui
public men to be independent and un.
prcjudiced. = Cteueland Plain Dealer.