davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30

haps he was a poor boy once, you think,
and ran around with clothes like fishing
nets i'm their perfect ventilation. Perhaps
in some distant village an aged mother sits
and dreams Of the grandeur her son has at
tanned and tenderly fondles some
little treasure of his youth, possibly
the razor he carried in his little hip
pocket Or may be he is thinking of his
own son, who is growing up as smart as his
father is, and he speculates On the boys
future as he plans to make a sleeping
car porter of him and found family.
Visions of cake-walks in early days drift
through his mind and weird figures like
4 IL "A crowd before his eyes as he recol-
lects the dream he had last night of sna Ike
with silver door-knob for a head trying
to swallow a pelican, and he wishes he had
his dreanl-book with him to find out what
numbers to play. During the hours be-
tween meals he is invisible to the guest
and those who give thought to the subject
imagine that he is secreted in a grand
chamber, where, alone in his glory, he
waits on Time.
like to think of the home hours of great
men; how their children and friends famil-
iarly address them and trifle with them
playfully as If they were of no importance
whatever: but never let my mind take so
wild fight as to picture the head waiter
dandling baby on his knee or playing bear
on all fours in the woodshed. scarcely
dare write the thought Who ever heard
of a man slapping the royal back and Say
ing: Hello, Zeke, old boys
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
EASY to Remember.

A young lady met dude on the street
the other day and spoke to him. That night
he met her at the house of friend.
''Ah, Miss Chestah." he said, 81 believe
you spoke to me on the street. to-dayg'
"Yes," she answered.
"Weally, Miss Chestah, you will ex-
cuse me, but you know l don't remem-
bah of evan meeting you befoah, don't you
know"
'sAh, indeed! 1t was at Saratoga, last
summer"
"Weally, Miss Chestah, beg yoah pah-
don. / had quite fawgotten, don't you
know, and / cawn't undahstand how you
could wemembah me so we'll"
"Quite easy, Mr.. Morgan; you know the
simpler anything is the easier we remember
it"-1fcrc1tdHt If'dUcler.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
EVEN JUPITER Mods.

Nobody ever meets him roaming around
town at one or two O'Clock in the morning,
the time when all the other darkies. male
and female, are out enjoying 1.-The shank of
the evening" and shutting their feet while
they sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot and
"June-bug Got de Golden Wing" Where
is he?
of other head walters as gloomy and grand
lose as himself, and they are having a
quiet little game CT poker where every chip
represents house and lot at least
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

A Young lady school teacher at
Swiss Station, Sacramento County.
Cal. threw an unruly boy of thirteen tc
the floor with such force as to break me-
leg.
An old regulation at Yale is that
student shall lift his hat at a distance
of fen rods from the president, eight
from professor and five from tu'or'
Hartford Post.
-Andover Theological Seminary VIII
receive 1926. 900 from the estate OF TING
late Mrs. William Richardson. OF Man
chester. N. H. The American BLDG
Society receives about the same amount''
according to the lady's will.
Writing to young collegian many
wears ago. Ruskin said: ITO do as muchi
as Won can healthily and happily dc
each dav in a Undetermined direc..
ton, with view to far-of results, ano
with present enjoyment OF ones WORK,
is the only proper, the only essentially
profitable way"
The American Medical Missionary
Association held its first annual meeting
recently. 1t was voted that young men
wishing to be medical missionaries WIZ
have to be earnest Christians. sounc'
physically, of liberal education anc
take full course of lectures in IN ap-
proved college of medicine.-N I. Eli
aBainer.
Methodist girls are assured by the
official journal of their church that they
can not dance without breaking thai
solemn VOW which they made at the
altar, ''in-the presence of God and His
angels. to renounce the devil and all his
works." The assertion is further made
that truly good Christians are never
dancers. Chicago Times.
Some atstIcan asserts that among
the 'verts to Romanism-a "'vert'' may
mean convert or a ''pervert, and
is adopted az an ambiguous and salts
flying term for general use by British
conversationalists- have gone over
since the beginning of the Oxford move
ment are enumerated SO lords. % baro-
nets. SOP graduates of Oxford. 14s
graduates Of Cambridge. 142 army off.
GERS, 92 lawyers, As doctors and 1,01G
ladies Of aristocratic stations. CHRIS.
tidn Union.
The Church Missionary Society
represents the evangelical element liz
the Church of England. Its income
was 81, 1872. 243. and it supports 228 or
dained missionaries, 81 lay missionaries,
Is women, IL ordained Eurasians. 2f6
ordained natives. 10 Euraslan teachers,
3,511 native teachers and helpers, and
has 40.757 communicates in lis mission
churches. The work of this society
reaches nearly all parts of the world,
and its missions in Pagan lands are
among the most benefcent and success
ful.
MIR. Andrew ID. White, in his fare
well address to the faculty and students
of Cornell University, said: This uni
versity is designed to make men and
women of the students coming here.
This country can afford to lose all that
it has yet attained if by SO doing its in
habitants become true, noble, faithful
men and women. The founders Of this
university were patriotic men, and it
was for this purpose that they conceived
the idea of lettering the nation. Many
come here thinking that by so doing
they are patronizing the university
That is mistake. The university pat,
ronizes you."-N. Y Tribune.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
Making themselves Useful.

swell, Pm glad to see that at least one
baseball club has gone into useful BUSH
ness, for of all foolshness think this thing
of going around over the country playing
ball is the most foolish of ALL" was the re-
mark which greeted Mr.. Squildig as he ap-
peared at the breakfast table this morning.
''Gone into useful business?" queried
SquiIdig.
YES and l hope the other clubs will
follow the example. 1t may take a little
business away from the col0red man. but 1t
will be benefit after ALL"
''What do you mean?" asked Squildig,
mystifed.
"Why, the paper this morning says the
Metropoitans whitewashed Brooklyn, and
think all the clubs had better 60 into the
embarrassing business" = Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.

The man who went to the country
for ''rest and change" says the walters
got most of his change and the landlord
the rest.- Boston Commercial Bulletin.
1t is always safe to talk about the
weather. If ones conversation can not
be logical, the next best, OF course, is
for It to be meteorological. Boston
Transcript.
An exchange says that folded
newspaper placed under the coat in the
small of the back is an excellent substi-
tute for an aovercoat. Now is the time
to subscribe. -EransUille Argus. /
NO, Minerva;we are not laundering
for society notes with a very large
sized hank. Plain everyday bank
notes are rich enough for our blood
The Ratchet.
Minnesota taxes dogs at their APP
praised value, and the 10000 in the
State foot up $4,000. The lowest
figure for any canine is ninety-two
cents.
30, do not take from me the
past, 7" walls the poet. Rest easy, son,
nobody wants your past-each has his
share of that commodity. What we
want is mortgage on the future,
good fat one and fully secured. - Phila.
delphia Call.
behold how great matter little
fire kindlethr' The telegraphic report
that 1.-The Puritan Rugged the Genesta
all the way down the bay to the whist
ling BUOY is said to have led to three
matrimonial engagements in Western
town.-Springfeld Union.
Who came out ahead? Mrs. Smith
was reading in paper. scientists say
the way to sleep is to think of nothing,
when Smith broke in: IL should saw
that you would sleep all the time, nv
dear" mo doubt" Mrs. Smith re.
sponded. for / think good deal of
you. "-Boston Budget.
1t is no use to talk to a man about
the beauties of the CORRESPONDING sen
and the joyousness of its silverv sands
when he has Just come back from sea-.
side hotel where he has had to sleep on
shelf in clothes-closet and had to
keep tack hammer under his pillow
to kill the bugs with.-FaH Rirer Her.
aid.
a young housekeeper asks the
Norristown Heraid how to keep the
juice of pies from soaking into the
under crusts. To which the editor re-
plies: Our culinary education is ex-
tremely limited, but we should think
that lining the under crust with sheet
iron would nicely overcome the diff
Guilty.
The faithful pump-handle:
back yard %''
Where the milk he'd diluted until it looked
The handle, the spout, and the pals that the
blackguard
with the chaiky white mixture the bot
toms did strew.
.. the old wooden handle,
The fronb bound handle,
The worm eaten handle
That stood In the yard.
s.. --Boston Budget.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
A GARFIELD STATUE.
The Latest Addition to the statuary Hall
of the Capitol.

The Latest Addition to the statuary Hall
of the Capitol.
Statuary Hall, in the Capitol at Wash
ington, the old House of Representa-.
tives, is becoming even now crowded.
Within the last ten years space has
been given here to various States that
wish to place in the Capitol statues rep.
resenting their leading men who have
acquired National fame. The last edi-
ton to the collection is a statue of Gen.
eral Garfield, presented by the State OF
Ohio. This is the work of Niehaus, a
Cincinnati sculptor, who has been edu-
Gated abroad, and whose talent deserved
the task assigned him. The Garfield
statue is one of the best of the modern
additions. 1t represents Garfield S
figure as it really was. There is no at
tempt to idealize him in any way. He
is standing in an easy pose, with his
head in the position of a man about to
address an audience. The weight OF
the body rests upon the right leg. The
dress Of the figure is a baggy frock
suit. The numerous wrinkles and
curves in the. suit give lines of ease and
take away very much from the stiff APP
pearance of the ordinary attempts to
render the modern dress in marble.
This figure, if it lacks anything, is in
the head. This seems to not have Gar
fields character. although the likeness
is fairly good. So. Louis Post.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30

hind his back, the
other in his vest, he
is a picture. What
are the thoughts pass
ing through the royal
brain? Perhaps he
thinks that he, too,
is clay, that his reign
may soon end, or he
may be thinking of
the distant past when
watermelons held a
charm for him great
er than any dish the
chef serves. Even
head walters may
arise from poverty
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
German Military Discipline.

There was to be grand review and in
spection of the troops of a German garri-
son town. A corporal gave the following
order to the soldiers:
Now, men, if the Major asks you how
YOU like your grub, you say good If a
Colonel asks you you must reply very
good If the General asks you. you must
speak up and say it couldn't be better?'
Omnibus.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30

When you have hired him, just for the fun
of the thing, to come around and decorate
your back fence, and stand over him and
pick on his work and jaw him for two solid
hours, you begin 10 feel that you are getting
square for the time last summer when you
paid twelve dollars per day to stand in awe
of this professional beauty of the Saratoga
hotels and realize, as you hear how he lost
all he made playing policy in the fall, that
life has its compensations and there is jus.
tice i'm this world after alL.-W. III. Nc
DouqdtI in N. Y. World.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30


stefan or artist in the city begins to hoard his
savings for the time when he can JOIN the
throng and for few brief days waste his sub
stance in riotous living at gorgeous hotels.
In this giddy whirI here come sudden short
stops and awful pauses when he stands face
to face with Power whose majesty causes
him to cringe and gasp before its awful
sOlemnity. There are times in mans life
when he realizes his utter insignificance.
and one of these times is when he surveys
the Head Waiter at a Saratoga hotel. BUR
rounded by all the pomp and glory OF an
eastern monarch the great creature stanus
in the grand entrance to the gilded dining
palace and with naughty mien and majestic
gesture sends his subjects hither and thlther
by wave of his hand. Alone in his glory,
like all kings, his sable cOuntenance wears
a look of gloomy benignity. His spotless
linen and raven-black garments bespeak the
immaculate serenity of his great mind. No
one so bold as to dare to trifie with him or
utter merry jest in his awful presence; he
is surrounded by a circle, invisible, but un-
passable, barrier as Of Ice.
Mark how the city clerk on vacation
smokers in his sleeve as he sees his EN-
ployer creep humbly to the seat assigned
him by the dark potentate without daring
to utter an objection, although opposite sits
the man he swindled on big bill of goods
last winter, and whose burning glance eats
into his soul. The little clerk in his twenty
dollar suit sees the Congressman bow be-
fore his majesty, and all of them, magnatcs
of the railroads, Governors, aye, even Presi-
dents, approach the presence with fear
and trembling
Nobody seems to dare insult the majestic
creature by vulgar tip" although sup
pose some Croesus now and then on the sly
hands him five-hundred-dolla bill.
See this humble abject creature whose
ill-frting garments and shutting, timid
gait indicate that he has no business III this
gorgeous place. With evident dread he APP
proaches the head waiter, and, unmindful
of the warning frown on his face, speaks
to him. See how he sues for something,
probably crust from a table. No! he
takes the head waiter out of the room.
May be the waiter is about to kill him.
What! that was the proprietor of the
hotel! Yon don't say so? Even he breads
the black tyrant.
So he reigns and his subjects are legion.
As he stands against pillar, one hand be-
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
Not Guilty, But Crazy.

"You are charged with kissing this
young lady in the dark" said the Judge to
the prisoner, good-looking young man
"Merciful heavensp' he gasped. rs that
the young ladyw
cit is"
Then plead not guilty, your Honor. !"
mot guilty."
"Yes; and desire to enter a plea of in
sanity.r-N. Y. Journal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
RUBBER ADuLTERATIoNs.

Hurtful and Poisonous Substances Em-
ployed by Rubber Goods Manufact'
urers.
Rubber is at present largely adulter-
ated so as to make it cheaper. The
overshoes and boots made of this
material are adulterated with finely
ground burned potter's clay. of which
it can stand as much as So per cent.
without losing its fitness for the pur-
pose. The adulteration is harmless,
only the material is not SO strong. and
the shoes or boots. instead of
lasting several seasons. as the
old fashioned little non-adulterated
material. scarcely last one season.
as they tear very easily and holes
very soon wear in them. While
the pure rubber is stronger than the
best leather, the adulterated rubber is
less strong than the worst leather.
Rubber hose and sheet rubber are usually
adulterated with soapstone. This gives
a lighter color to the material. while the
burnt-clay adulteration leaves it dark
colored which is preferred for shoes.
But some authorizations are hurtful, be-
ing poisonous in their nature. Such is
the adulteration with zinc-white, which
makes the rubber very light-colored.
and is used in the rubber for nursing
bottles and children's toys. The effects
of zinc poisoning on the system are
scarcely less alarming than lead poison
iue. Some time ago, says the Manu-
facfurer and Builder, a little child in
Pennsylvania died from chewing a
paper collar. which. Ike many paper
collars, was prepared with zinc-whjte;
and cases are now on record where
children have become sick from keep
ing rubber toys in their mouths. So
many eases of zinc poisoning from the
white nipples of nursing bottles have
already occurred. that the use of zinc
in them has been mostly abandoned.
These rubber nipples, or dolls, when
laid in vinegar, become covered with an
incrustation of zinc acetate. In one
case. in 0.73 gram of doll 0.45 gram of
zinc oxide was found lover go per cent.
In subjecting such rubber objects to a
red heat, 81 per cent of ashes remained,
while the ashes were yellow while hot
and became white on cooling. which is
the characteristic behavior of zinc oxide,
called zinc-white. In another case, in
a doll warranted harmless, SO per cent.
of ashes was obtained, mostly all zinc
oxide. Several chemical journals are
now calling attention to these facts, and
it is to be hoped that it will effect an
amelioration in the consciences of the
manufacturers. - Boston Journal OF
Commerce.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
No PerceptibIe Change.

DE Baggs-Havc you seen Ponsonby?
De Twirliger- Yes. met him yesterday
Why?
s'Nothing in particular. He has been
down at Cape May for three months. taking
in the salt you know"
"You surprise me! He seemed to me to
be as fresh as ever. "-Fhitadetphtu C0JL
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30

"A farmer at Lancaster. Pa, has
rooted new barn with glass. He SAYS
the cost was not a great deal more, and
that the glass weighs thirteen tons,
while slate roof would weigh twenty
six tons.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
THE WINDING OF THE sKEIN.

held the skein for her one night,
When the shadowy CLINT of the freight
Danced fitfulIy on the opposite wall.
Polly and ], and that was all.
Were there to see the ghostly ball:
Tongs and scuttle. hearth-dog ana cat,
Venus de Milo and mandarin fat,
Table and lamp, and chairs where we sat,
In rhythmic measure went round and round,
In rhythmic measure with never a sound,
While Polly's arms as she wound and wound,
Looked like fiddler drawing his bow
Across his fiddle to and fro;
The strings were those of the skein, you
know
held the skein.
iheld the skein. I'd known her long.
And my heart had learned the same old song
That hearts have sung since hearts were
TrilIed in the sunlight or sobbed in the shade.
But my lips were mute, for was afraid
To speak my thoughts. So held my peace
And borrowed hope, and took new lease
OF friendship l hated yet dreaded might
For Polly was oddish and queer in her WAYS
Her yeas were nays and her nays were yeas,
And 1t often took me days and days
To ind out If she was yexed or pleased,
Or IL I'd been wounded or only leased;
But her ladyship was this night appeased;
held the skein.
/ held the skein, the last few strands;
And as they escaped my ontstTetched hands ta,
you see the yarn might have dropped). until
Somehow-well, Polly wasn't ILL.,
Only a little bit tired, she said,
And, perhaps, suspicion of ache In the
head
That nestled close under beard that was
red,
But is auburn now. And she calls me Ned
And says it was really very i'll bred
To kiss her and hold her waist instead
OF the skein, and she'll never trust me again
But she has. for years have flown since theI
held the skein.
Oakland Week.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
His reign ends in the

Yet he is human. His reign ends In the
first chill days of September; the leaves
and the head waiter fall at the same time.
and when winter comes striding along
where does he find the head waiter? Como
with me to Thompson street and you will
see the sign Over humble doorway
Ezekiel Jefferson Sampson. white-wash
artist and kalsomine frescoer," and If Zeke
is at home you'll find him looking in pot
of caIcimine with critical eye to the
amount of blue in it, while Blanche, his
wife, is bossing him around with hot Hat
iron in her Land which evidently enters into
her argument. Ill
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30

II have a horrible suspicion that that
brute has shaved off my moustache. Tell
me, ha--ha-has he?"-Life.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30

When the first
hot seething days
of June set in
motion the great
tide Of summer
travellers toward
mountains and
the seaside, the
I-.1~ xxhrr
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-01-30
FAREWELL, STRAW HIATT
THE HOTEL HEAD WAITER.

A More or Less Critical Essay on His Lord
ly Maguificence.
Wichita eagle., 1886-09-21
Reduced Excursion Rates.

The st. Louis, Fort Scott and Wichita in
connection with the Missouri Pacific railway
will sell round trip excursion tickets as fol-
lows:
To Kansas City Sept, 18th to 18th, at Sc. .35
with 50 cents additional for admission ticket
to fair grounds. The Fort Scott train for
Kancas City leaves Wichita 500 p. m. Three
hours later than the Santa Fe train and ar
rives at Kansas City G:15 a. In. Making the
run two hours and forty minutes quicker
than the Santa Fe Has an elegant through
free reclining chair car, also Pullman sleeper.
70 Knights Templar triennial conclave at
St Louis September 18th to goth at rates as
low as the lowest. In this connection it
should be remembered that the Wichita com
mandry Knights Templar have contracted to
90 in q body to st. Louis over the Fort
Scott and Missouri Pacific roads. Join the
procession and go with the Knights.
To St Louis fair, October 2nd to Sth, at
one fare for the round trip.
To Quaker meeting at Plainfield, Indiana.
Tickets will be sold to Plaintield, Danville or
Indianapolis, Indiana, Sept. 9th, eth, 10th
and 11th at S2l.O0.
To Quaker meeting at Richmond, Indiana,
September 10th, 11th, 18th and 18th .OO.
For tickets and other information apply to
EASmith, commercial agent, 109 Main street,
or at depot Office, First and Wichita streets.
c. p. Rector, D. F. & p. Agent, d96-tf
Wichita eagle., 1886-09-21
Fetal
S52,9722
-----------------7--7771
HARVEST HOME FESTIVAL.

Sunday the Baptist church was tastefully
and beautifully decorated for the celebration
of the Harvest Festival. In the evening the
Woman's mission circle rendered the follow
ing delightful programme:
Scripture lesson. By Mrs. Z. j. Foster.
Hymn, Harvest Bells by choir.
Prayer. by Rev. Mr.. Post.
Recitation. The Autumn Festival by
Miss Sybil Herring.
Song. "a Wonderful House by Miss
Sarah Foster.
Original paper Every Day Work" by
Mrs L. j. Foster.
Solo, ''Your Mission. by Miss Fleta Law
renee.
Remarks by Mr. Post
Reading, Thanksgiving Ann" Miss Nc
Vicar.
Duett, Weary Cleaners" By Misses Law
renee and Herring
Address, 1.-The Harvest" by Rev. W. F.
Harper, pastor.
Recitation, ''Biddy Redwing's Nest" by
Margaret Foster.
Hymn, ''Who is Ready" by the choir.
DoxOlogy, praise God" by the congrega
tion.
BencdictiOn, by the pastor.
A collection was taken up which amount
ed to about $50