Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
The Sturp Teller.
A BARONESS CAUGHT.
HOW HER ARDENT ADMIRER ARRESTED
and MARRIED HER.

A handsome, well-dressed lady was stroll
ing past the stores on one of the fashionable
streets of Paris inspecting the contents of
the show windows after the manner of wo-
men, particularly those which contained
fashionable dresses and hats, referring of
course to the show window, not to the
ladies. A little gentleman, also we'll dress
ed, followed her.. In fact one might say
he pursued her. Every once in awhile he
would stop, and gaze on the lady with un-
disguised admiration and an eye-glass, and
sigh as if he had been eating large quanti-
ties of unripe fruit. AS soon as the lady
saw him, an expression of disgust and rage
passed over her handsome features. She
hastily entered one of the stores, closing
the door after her with a bang that sounded
like an imprecation.
Don't imagine, dearest, that you can es-
cape me-" said the little man, who had fol-
lowed her into the store.
"What do you Wish?" asked the store
keeper of the lady.
II wish you would protect me from the
impertinence of this man, who follows me
wherever CO."
"If I annoy you, madame" said the little
man, you have no one but yourself to blame
for it, It is not my fault. Every thing in
the world must have beginning, and so
must our personal acquaintance"
"That, sir is very stupid joke" said the
lady, scornfully.
II never joke, madame. Please listen
to me for few minutes" he said persua-
sively.
81 desire this scandalous scene to come
to an end"
$50 do I. Will you be kind enough to
take my arm, and 1 will accompany you
to your residence, oranywhere. Oh, could
be happy with you in desert"
"But, sir, don't know yOu.'
"That's what distresses me. All that 1
ask is for you to give me chance to become
acquainted with you. For your own sake
madame, take my arm; I'd offer you my
hand, too, if thought you would take it,
and my heart, too"
"You are an impudent fool. I shall not
take your arm"
"That's what I expected you to say" re-
piled the little man with sigh, ''but,
thank Heaven! l can compel you to listen
to what l have to say. shall simply call
on the police"
"To return you to the asylum for the
feeble minded, from which you are no doubt
fugitive, or perhaps it is the Jail from
which you have made your escape, for you
look as much like villain as you do like a
fool, which is saying great deal," said the
lady, her face wreathed with contempt.
"Why do you propose to send for the po-
lice?' asked the proprietor of the store.
1.-The lady will tell you why," said the
little man. "Do not allow her to leave the
store until return, or you will be held re-
sponsible by the authorities. I will 60 for
policeman and hack. Once more, ma
dame, will you take my arm, and return to
your residence, or shall 60 for the police.
1t is positively your last chance. $50 long
as the lamp holds out to burn the prettiest
sinner may return as the poet says. Re-
turn with me to your residence"
The anger and astonishment of the lady
knew no bounds. She glared at the auda-
cious little man, and hissed "NO!" with a
big n.
After once more warning the store-keeper
not to lose sight of the lady, the little man
went out. Everybody present was paral:
that she was Baroness Il, and lived on the
Rue de Paradis. She was about to leave
the store when the little man reappeared
with policeman.
"Policeman, l authorize you to arrest that
lady," said the little man.
"Policeman, want you to arrest that pup
py who has been insulting and annoying me
on the street," exclaimed the Baroness.
"Madame, you must 60 with me to the
station house." said the policeman.
"But am the Baroness Z, and have not
done anything"
"That's what they all say. When we get
to the station house you must tell the police
justice all aboutit. This gentleman accuses
you of theft"
"Theft!" exclaimed the lady.
'"Yes, theft" replied the policeman, smil-
ing cynically, 'but please don't make a
scene. One person likes absinthe, another
has weakness for cigars, and you probably
have a penchant for emptying the pockets of
strangers"
"This is infamous!" exclaimed the lady,
II am Baroness u, and if you will accompa-
ny me to my residence will convince you
of your mistake and pay you for your
trouble" said the Baroness.
"Ah! an attempt to corrupt the officers of
justice. I'll put you on my little list"
"Now, Madame, the hack is in waiting at
the door," said the little man.
There was nothing to do but obey. The
look the Baroness gave the little man was
enough to frighten lion, but he only
sighed and shook his head, as much as to
say, "this is tough world"
The Police Justice seemed to be very
nice gentleman. He had just dined and was
in the best humor imaginable. On seeing
the Baroness he smiled and bowed. He
had so much to do with people who had
been run over on the streets, drunken row.
dies, disreputable women and such ca1ditle,
that he was pleased to see some apparently
respectable criminals patronize his court.
Taking his seat on the judicial throne, he
asked pleasantly what was the nature of the
case.
The little man and the Baroness sprang 10
their feet. They addressed the chair stimuli
neously, and with considerable show of
emotion, particularly the insulted baroness.
Judge-Don't both speak at once. Which
of you is the complainant?
The Gentleman-Ia am.
The Baroness-I am.
Judge-That is impossible. Policeman,
which of the parties applied to you first.
Poiceman--The gentleman did, your
Honor.
The Judge-Now, sir, you have the floor.
Madame, you will allow the gentleman to
state his case.
The Baroness sits down with gesture Of
despair. The little gentleman bows to the
court, clears his throat, and asks
''Has your Honor ever been in love-"
Judge-I might reply to that question
that it was none of your business, but 1 do
not blush to acknowledge that on several
occasions have been under the influence of
the tender passion.
Complainant-Then your Honor will
comprehend to some extent the suffering
that have undergone. About two months
ago recovered from dangerous, and, what
might have been fatal illness. My ply
sician said l needed change of air and
amusement. l lived at that time in the
Boulevard de Tophet, so l moved to the
Rue de Paradis. My greatest pleasure was
to look out of my window every morning
ond u,;tnocc tho awak keninp of AurOra