Omaha daily bee., 1886-09-12
PEPPERMINT DROPS.

Thirteen is an unucliy number at board
ing house table where there is only dinner
enough for twelve.
1t is said that st, Louis man can jump
from the highest emnCnce without injury.
ii is ears act as parachutes.
"lave you the hay fever?' asks patent
medicine ad. We have not, but we cannot
see that it is any affair of yours.
Some one asks: "Who were the forty
thiaves"' We cannot answer this until we
know which state legislature is referred to.
"llow would you like to have your hair
cut?" asked the barber with the scissors"
replied the customer, and silence fell on the
place with dull thud.
AT one of the leading hotels of Elmira one
day this week the waitress accosted a guest
with this, query: What kind of meat will you
have, salmon or hot cakes"
The latest gem in the line of coroner's Jury
yerdicts comes from Dakota, where jury
found that "she came to her death from a
feonious desire to reach happy here
after"
A correspondent writes: "I am in love
with a young lady, but too bashful to pro,
pose. Who can help me out?' We should
say her father could that is, ii you happen to
stay too late.-New Haven News.
A boarding house mistress has added an
other ornament to her wall decorations. 1t is
IN the shape OF motto which reads thus:
Laugh and grow fat" She wants to give
the mouths of her boarders something to do.
n Cot thuJ ulSdpUCultu tWcDty years uSO
through trap door in the floor Off freight
house at Ansonia, Conn.,, was found there on
Monday by workmen who were tearing away
the building. Contrary to expectations, it
was not alive.
A frightened-looking man walked into q
gun store and rapidly tsaid to the clerk:
Give me a British bulldog revolver, a
twelve-inch dirk, asuit of arlnor, and box
game do you umple to-dayP"
What hp pama hacly fnr--E nF
Girl should think you would be satisfied
after the treatment you got here last night l
Kicked you down the front steps and set the
dog on you, and he came back with o big
want? Young Man-Id like that piece of
cloth, please
A New York gentleman in crowd felt
somebody tugging at his watch chain. He
did not get excited or angry, but merely said
quietly to the pickpocket:
"Waterbury.'
Excuse me-" replied the Iightfngered
gentleman as he moved away
1t is said that Nova Scotia magistrate de-
layed proceedings in suit and justified his
delay as follows: Look here, if you know
anything about the first principles of law or
the revised statutes, you must know that five
clear days must elapse after the summons is
served and it's been raining now for three
days and it may not clear up for week.
Boston Journal.
81 want this advertisement where it won't
show said a lawyer, as he entered the office
of a newspaper. ITS got to be published to
comply with the law, but it pertains to d-
yorce case, and we don't want any more pub
licity Than we can help. Let me see; your
paper is 81, democratic, isn't it?' The editor
under the church notices. 1t will never be
seen there by your subscribers" said the
lawyer.
BEG pardon, sir" said a Chicago hotel
clerk, as he took very small gripsack handed
him by belated traveller who had come in at
IL 80 p. m. and asked for Il room; "but our
rules require cash in advance from guests
Gentleman GENT up to room % ST. six,h s, Sor TT Dollar
and half, sir, if you please" "Srv' said
the guest, 81 am an Iowa druggist in pro-
hibiton town." "a thousand pardons, eX-
claimed the clerk. boy, take the gentleman
to room 81, first floor. Never mind the cash.
sir-never mind the cash."