St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-26
THE MORNING MISERY.
Scientific Disquisition On the Evolution
of the Minneapolis Milk
Wagon,
From the She Goats and Asses Down to
the Modern Cow and Common
Pump.
The Lacteal Vender Picturesque and
the Vender Who Causes GEN
eraI Profanity.


having their fayorite. most recent, highest
developed theory applied to such mundane
matters as milk and wagons, but OF what
use is science unless it be practical in its
application? And who that lives In Min
neapols, where the milk wagon has reached
the summit of utility, if not of artistic
beauty, and where a coffee-drinking pOpu-
lace is dependent on the dairy man, is not
interested in the history of the method of
delivering his liquid necessity? Unlike mat
tiers purely scientific. whose germ existed
in azoc time, every possible phase of the
subject can be traced in the living world of
to-day; it is true that in the mind of
the busy MinneapOlitan, life" is
word that expresses vastly more than
Turk or Egyptian can comprehend-bu it
is to Turkey and Egypt that an imaginary
mind must turn, to find the genesis of milk
selIing-and American eyes are wonder
struck, and the Yankee mind disguised, to
see droves of she asses driven from house to
house, but the housewife knows her milk is
fresh, for it is drawn from the original
fountain in Her presence. This sight sets
the practical Westerner to bordering on
one of the
CHARACTERISTICS OF EVOLUTION
in general. For these people are as the
monster lizards of geologic time; they have
reached their level of social development,
and other nations, springing, it may be,
from lower plane, have passed them by:
so from the greater height of more civilized
lands-this immediate vicinity. for instance
they look down upon a declining race.
and wonder at a shiftlessness which causes
even the milk peddler to drive his flock
instead of wagon!-And in
this complacent frame of mind
the Yankee muses., forgetting that Turkish
streets are OftimeS narrower than railroad
tracks, and that donkeys may enter where
a mere modern milk conveyance would be
useless
And the traveller. intent upon studying
personal peculiarites-h who finds greater
attractions in foreign streets than in cele
brated art galleries, is not unmindful of
the milkmah. If he sojourn in Mnneapo-
lis, his peace is disturbed by clang that
startleS him, for the Minneapolis milk
wagon man has
BORROWED A GONG
that gives forth a sound akin to that of the
! fire department. If 1t be in German streets,
the milkmen. as an Irish wit would put it.
are all women. aud wonderful in their way
of business. The poorest of them carries
her tactical wares in green tin pals. and as
| her trade increases. she prOcureS various
vehicles-firSt cart. which she pushes be-
fore her; then she has tongue put to the
cart. and she makes strange double har-
ness, one set of which goes over her own
shoulders. and the other is worn by her
faithful dog. This is a very inconvenent
arrangement however, for at every house
the good dame must take off her yoke in
order to take in milk to her buyer. who
| of ho Sc hall L..
a more prosperous peasant woman bitches
two dogs to her cart, besides which she
trudgeS with vigorous strides. and before
which. wnen the cart stops. her dog team
| lies down to rest The Frankfort milk
dealer, who is most envied by others of her
craft is the happy poSsesSor OF long
Low FoUR-wHEELED CART,
seated in which, with as many cans as
| Minneapolis wagon carries, she goes from
i house to house, drawn by four powerful
dogs. over which, with ropes for lines and
great goad as a persuader. her power
seems entire And at this stage the evolu-
| ton of the South German milk wagon
resteth. The medtative Yankee, remem
bering the quick horses, the noisy bell and
| the CHEEKY youth who is lover to every
| house on his route, sees and notes
| these things. He we'll may question
| if there be not time when
this healthful eut-of-door employment
| would not be better done in the hands OF
some of the quick witted young women who
are wearing their lives away in the close
confinement of stores and offices, where
| their wages do not equal the mlkman's.
| For certain it is that the German woman,
while there is noticeable absence of those
| dress adOrnmentS with which the robe of
| every American girl is Oinamented, has
| beauties which no money can purchase;
/ they are seen in cheek and eye and general
healthlneSs.
THE GERMAN
has all eye to business Only-it is the gay
Belgian who gladdens the aesthetic soul Of
the seeker after ''etfectS'-for the foggy
atmosphere and the quaint old houses are
alike frightened by the gorgeous red of the
Flemish milk cart, which is sort of combi-
nation OF the circus wagon and the old New
| England affair. high fore and aft and low
amidships- brilliant red-always
drawn by one powerful Norman horse.
which heavily trots over the
cobble stones, making mu-
steal rattle which the wooden-shod
maids seem to recognize. for many kindly
smile greets the driver, who seems always
happy fellow, seated midst his glistening
cans, just over the axle of the cart. The
| Minneapolis miikman may gain points from
| his craftsmen OF Ghent-n these days of
| ''reviyals," when veneratiOn Tor an oiden
! time is expressed in all things that enter
into the furnishing OF house, why were it
not We'll for some dairy artist, or Purltanic
MAYFLowER ANTECEDENTs,
| to please aesthetic eyes by reproducing the
| old New England farm wagon? He could
conceal the necessary modern springs by eX-
| tending the SIDES of the wagon bed below
| theul-he could hide the cans with lids. as
! now. only they in turn should be covered
! with big yellow pumpkins which could be
| carved at the school OF wood carving and
| painted at the Minneap polls Academy of Fine (
| Arts-such O venture would undoubtedly :
| captiNate the trade of the most cultured
people IN the city and many dollars would .
| enter the Golfers OF the artistic niilkinan. !
| But as the Beig al SURPRISES all Others i'll
| the 6rilliancy 0f his equipage. so is he
excelied in practical utility by the Mime
| apUiis Yankee. The milk wagon that
passes along our streets would never be
| mistaken for
A THING OF BEAUTY.
! and It's abOminaOlc bell causes thoughts of |
| Oaths from the iate SiumbeTer. but for The
owner 1t Is great as well as noisy success.
1t has lids To keep tie cold from the caDs-
| ii has a machine by which Tie horses are
held While the man goes IN Tor drink-Of
water; it has lttle drawers for tickets and
an electric call cash box; its seat secures
absolute comfort to Its lord. And Ii has a
bell; JUST why. no man knoWeih, for the
bell rings when lar distant from customers
and oft times is silent as it approaches a
stopping pace. AS was said, the bells
i, Il,