Smyrna times., 1886-03-24
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

The butcher should always be placed
on joint committees.
Men who are fast do not keep fast on
the regular fast days.
Next month the city of New York
will be 200 years old.
The Gardiner is beginning to pick
his teeth with the herrin' bone.
Very many society men wear hand
somely worked chest protectors with q
dress suit.
An order was issued from the War
department last week retiring Mai.
Gen. Pope.
The German ministers of Cincinnati
are holding meetings to sustain the
Sunday laws.
Alaska is said to have in its forests.
at the lowest estimate, 5000, 900, 600
feet of lumber.
Canada has commissioned the cruiser
Lansdown to protect her waters against
American fishermen.
Texas editors do not believe in mat
erialized spirits. They say that good
whlskey won't freeze.
There is a man in Macon who be-
iieves that displaying weather signals
IS tampering with Providence.
The Connecticut Legislature is debat-
ing bill to prohibit the employment
OF children under 13 years in factories.
HE has left q void that can not be
easily filed" as the bank director
touchingly remarked of the absconding
cashier.
1t Is strange thing that the man who
knows exactly how to run a newspaper
IS always engaged in some other kind
of business.
High-post bedsteads with white mus
lin curtains, all of the olden time, are
being revived in all their imposing
stateliness.
An eminent professor who lives in
Paris recently willed his BODY to Sur
geOn Cornhill for dissection and it was
duly cut up.
If every inhabitant of the country
gets his share of the years grain crop
he will have to consume or waste ffty-
three bushels.
There is an ex-Confederate soldier in
Athens who belonged to nine different
regiments during the war, and was
never in a fight.
Uncle George: And so you go to
school now, Johnny? What part of the
exercises do you like best? Johnny:
The exercise we get at recess.
An EastOn seamstress carelessly left
a needlee in the back of young lady
customers dress, and now a particular
friend has his arm done up in arnica.
If the Government will issue no more
one and two dollar bills, they should
have made the present issue of some
material that could be washed and
irOned.
Silver plates represent something
better than respectable poverty, judg-
ing from the fact that New York firm
recently received $1,000 for a set of
twelve
1t is announced that there is complete
accord between France and China in
their negotiations for commercial
treaty and for one defining the Tonquin
frontier.
1t is a blessed thing to be wealthy.
A rich man can go and purchase a fifty
cent chrome and hang it on his wall
and tell everybody he bought tat the
Morgan sale.
There is a great Indignation among
the people who compose the " English
circles" in Paris at the revival in the
French press of wantOn and scandalOus
attacks on the prince of Wales.
Bishop Ninde has left vacant the pull
pit of the Metropolitan NJ. Z. Church,
Washington, to be occupied by DIR. ].
L. Newman as soon as he obtains q
transfer from the New York Confer
ence.
In some sections of Dakota, where
fuel is expensive, farmers will this year
grow an acre or two of fax for fuel. Il
is claimed that a ton of fax straw is
worth more for fuel than ton of soft
coal.
A few Florida orange growers, who
are wise in their generation, buried
thousands of oranges in the sand be-
fore the recent freezing weather, and
on digging them up found them to be
in perfect state of preservation.
A Maine railroad, during four days
when its trains were snOw-bOund, pur-
chased 400 cords of wood from the
farmers near one station. A sharp
sighted widow, who opened her house
as an imprOvised hotel, took in 1915 in
the same time.
The phrase "innOcuOus desuetuden
is so much on peoples tongues nova
days that its correct pronunciation is q
matter of some Importance. The sec
Ond of Mr.. Cleveland's immortal words
is pronounced with three syllables. the
accent on the first-thus: nss we tude.
General LOngstreet, now a silver
haired veteran, went to see how he was
represented in the -cyclOrama of the
second battle of Bull Run in Washing
ton the other day. He was there pOr-
trayed, with locks much blacker than
he wears now, in a group Of officers
around General Lee. Being asked his
opinion of the scene, he said: "Well, it
seems to be about all here except the