Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-06-17
FACT AND FANCY.


woman who wears new bonnet to
church for the first time.
There are four hundred known ways
in which horse can be unsound, and
yet when you buy one you will find q
way not yet catalogued.
An eccentric character of Mortified,
N. H.. has a cap he has worn steadily
for fifty years, and pair of calf boots
that he has used for thirty years.
There is nothing in the game Of base
ball calculated to bring the blush OF
shame to the check of modosty. unless
it is the decisions of the umpire.
Eggs of Dorkings weigh five pounds
twelve ounces per score, Leghorn eggs
little over three pounds, and Spanish
eggc two pounds fourteen ounces.
waiter! what's the matter with this
fowl? When l attempt to cut 1t my
knife recoils as it would from a piece of
india-rubber!" Oats spring chicken,
boss
Now that the country has about cole
brated all its centennial anniversaries
it will have leisure to celebrate great
number of quarter-centennial anniver-
saries of important events in the civil
war.
Owing to an empty treasury, Boston
streets will remain covered with dust
for some time to come, at least until
nature moistens them with her tears.
The owners of watering-carts think of
emigrating.
A committee is discussing the aboli-
ton of Greek and Latin in Harvard.
1t is right that those dead and danger
Gus languages should 60, provided the
study of ballet-dancing is not made
compulsory.
j. II. Adams, a blacksmith at Chico,
CAL, committed suicide few days ago
because his wife refused to let him re-
new a drunken fight in which he had
been engaged.
At Bridgeport Conn, last week, a
doctor extracted from the foot of
Charles Humuski, a Hungarian, darn
ing needle three inches long. 1t en-
tered the foot six months ago, while
Humuski was dancing fandango.
Everything comes to him who waits.
The farmer who all through the winter
has been wondering what he is going
to do with them pesky turnips now
finds a ready sale for them to the deal
er in pure grated horseradish.
A pastor in Boston, Sunday or two
ago, according to The Congratulated
paused at the beginning of his sermon,
and, looking up to the rear gallery, re-
marked that rs soon rs the choir got
through with its talk he would begin
his.
A little 2-year-old daughter of August
Hutscher, of New Haven, played about
the room with sharpened slate pencil
in hor mouth. She fell and the pencil
was driven into her throat, piercing
the jugular vein. She died almost i'm
mediately.
Joseph c. Barrett, of Newport, Pa,
while working in the woods, hung his
vest on bush. The woods caught on
fire, and when Barret went for his vest
only the buttons remained. His gold
watch lay on the ground ticking steadi-
ly in spite of the fire.
Old Gentleman Ito tramp to whom he
has just given a nickeD-Now. my
friend, what will you do with all that
money? Tramp gazing awestruck at
the nickeD-I think I'll put part of it
in the bank, sir, and the rest I'll spend
for peach-blow vase.
A couple of visitors from rural dis
trict in the house gallery were trying
to pick out their congressman on the
floor. Il cant distinguish him." said
one, after hopeless visual observation.
"Of course not" was the honest reply,
"he can't even distinguish himself"
A pig was foraging near the edge of
a pond in Americas, Ga, when large
turtle seized it and attempted to drag it
into the water. Piggy's squealing, how
ever, brought his owner to the rescue,
and he was saved. The turtle was cap
tured and weighed forty-eight pounds.
A little fellow at San Juan, Cal, re-
Gently received a present of a shotgun
for committing to memory one thou
sand verses of the bible. The next day
the youthful prodigy accidentally shot
his grandmother in the knee decorating
it SO badly that it will have to be am
putated.
At the elimination of a recent Chi
nese marriage at Sacramento the
groom was requested to give the bride
the customary salute. The young
heather proceeded to do the act la
Mclean, but the pretty celestial maid
en- turned her head at the wrong mo-
ment and the kiss WIS planted beneath
her left ear.
George B. Higley, of Simsbury,
Conn, recently lost his pocketbook
and looked in vain for it. That night
he dreamed that he had found the book
and his spectacles, which as yet he had
not missed, under tree that he had
set out the day before. In the morn
ing he dug up the tree and found the
missing property.
West Indian negroes are fond of
stuffed figures, and at most of their
merrymakings they have a John
Canoe or stuffed figure of a man,
which they treat with great respect.
Sometimes an AUNT Sally is substi-
tuted. Aunt Sally" is the figure of a
woman, and is treated rather fippantly
with John Canoe"
The story is told that distinguished
prelate OF the Church of England, on
accepting a country benefce, urged a
friend to make him visit as soon as he
got settled, remarking in perfect good