davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Daring his lifc-t time John r. Cough
lccturrd $500 times. to moro than
o.3OO,oo people, and travelled AIS, 900
miles to do it Boston JOWTHdL
Charles Crockcr. of san Francisco.
has gwen S33,o0O To the Girls and
Boys Aid society. with which TO erect
a building on the lot donated by Scna-
tor Fair
William h. Vanderbilt contcm-
plates retiring from business aud spec
ulation and erecting near New York
one oi the finest country residences i'm
the world, N y. H,dh
Miss kato Kin. daughter of Kato
kiNoto. n Shizoku of Tokyo Fu. japan.
has been ordered by the Department of
Education to visit the United States to
study the routine Of normal schools aud
nursery establishments for three wears
Isn't it u little singular that the
two typical Southern poets Albert
Pike and George ID. Prcnticc--a typical
Southern orator Sargent :. Prcntiss
and typical Southern iurist
Hiram Warmer should all have been
born at the North It'dRd ConStitu-
tom
Doorkccpcr Date, OF the Connect
cut House of Representatives. has ten
cartridges that were carried by Jude
Is Gage in the retreat from New Lon
don in the war OF 1912. They are hand
made, the wrappers being pieces uf
newspapers. and the round balls are
kept In place hy tow strings Mr.
''nge when ninety years old gave tho
relies to Mr. Date. .-H -HdrtIom COHrdtn.
Mrs JAY Gould the wife of the
railroad millionaire, is rather short iu
stature, though plump and comclv.
Her face denotes intelligence, and was
doubtless very pretty when she was
Young. She is thoroughly domestic i'm
her tastes, and has devoted her time to
her home and children. She spends
TWO hours day with her three small
boys, and carefully mspcCts all tho
books they read. N Y Nc,vS.
Captain James Blackstone. Of Brad
ford, Conn, who died recently, aged
ninety-thrce, was direct descendent
Of the first white settlers ON the pcnin-
sula now occupied bv the city OF Bos-
ton. The first Blackstone iu this coun-
try was the pilgrim, who landed in the
year 1929 He was minister Of the
Church Of England; was the first church
man of Boston, and the founder of tho
city. Hc once owned much Of the
land now covered by Boston. - BoStos
Herdh
Mrs. Tom ri John, who was, not
many years ago, wcll-known figure
IN our streets as she walked Broadway,
in coat and trousers, selling her hus-
bands paper, the FOicdHo, Is now liv-
ing ia Frankfort, Pa. She still wears
the trousers. but the VOtcdnO has sus-
pended, aud the Tom ri Johns are en-
gagged in the cologne business. the
wife manufacturing the perfume. and
her husband selling il by the bottle.
Many friend, will be pleased To lcnrn
that the children Retaliation and
Avenger are thriving N y. Herald.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09

done for YOU. and. anyhow. we nevei
scratch u pen here for less than iifty
dollars. The man had only twenty.
five dollars, but hcpaid that. aaa urom.
i>cd that he would rrturn in q few daNs
and pay the remainder. The follow ING
week he put in tn appearance. and the
boy being out, saw the attorney him.
self. and remarked checrfully that he
had come To pay fifteen dollars on au.
count
ION account of whstP" asked the
attorney.
Why, the agreement had drawn
up here last week, replied the client
What agrcement?' asked the at
torncy.
Tue man produced the paper and
handed it to the lawyer. and. aS the
latter read it, his eyes grew like am
owls at night. When he at last reached
the clause: Know all men by these
presents, that John --- and Mary
, having agreed before me rs wit.
ness, they are free To marry again il
this State, the cold pcrspiration started
To the lawyer brow aS he blurtcd out:
For Heaven sake don't tell me YOU
are married.
No. answered the man I'm
going 10 be married next week and
Mary will be married tomorrow.
The lawyer quickly explained the
case To the man, and two trials for
bigamy wcrc saved from our already
ovcrcrowdcd courts N y ComBicr.
cidi
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
THE IRRePRessIsLE eARnuM.
He VIII BE on Hand aud Ills plans car.
ried out According To Programme
Enormous Aggregation.

He VIII BE on Hand aud Ills plans car.
ried out According to Programme M
Enormous Aggregation.
This, said j. l.. Hutchinson nt the
Madison square Garden on SATURDAY.
lis the sixth year Of the compact bind
ing together =. + Barnum's Greatest
SHOW on Earth and the Great London
Circus, and they are 10 make tour of
the Western States until the fall. when
the whole show will be- shipped 10
Europe for tour The people Of
Europe never saw an American show
one that owns il, own railroad cars and
puts mp and takes down twcnty-six
tents covering ten acres OF ground u
one hour and fOrty-iyp minutes Since
the consolidation Of these shows we
have gone ON from season tO season
constantly adding 10 the various de-.
partmcnt- and consequently increasing
our money Investment and making "a
prOpOrtiOnato advance iu our daily cN-
pcnscs. but it b. all justified by our
growing receipts. Our expenses each
day are now nearly $1,000 while our
capital invested boz properties. ctc. is
fully $1,000 900. With such 70 large
amount AZ stake We must keep faith
with the public i'm al matters. and we
could mo- more afford 10 icopardilc our
business prospects than n merchant OF
baker or head of any other immense
mercantile business who has millions
Of invested capital
'IO give you au idea Of how our show
ha, increased. ] may say that formerly
we carried our show I'm twenty railroad
cars Now we use eighty Of our own
specially constructed cars. mIkiug one
train mile long, beside soycn adycr-
tising cars our pay roll contains 500
names and our expenses last season
were ~ O3S 600. We EMPLOY about
~ mon in advance iu all capIctic-.
'Ihi. year our exhibition viii bee similar
in iho m1iu Goo Chat ~ last season We
shall have three rIng- au elevated
stage. museum of living woudcr-. 20
Roman lIppOdromc. two double
mruagDrie-. 1u avi3rf au information
al congress Of giant and giJutc-+r-.
with Chang and MANY others and
midgrt- headed by Lucia /ar3lr br-
idr Mile thri-tiui. the douhIr-lradnd
girl. Arabs. European specialists. im-
b0 skeleton and skin. and Alice. Jum-
b0 widow and herd uf elephants I
eu uuthWlIy Say i&at This year show
wiz b0 tbo sigglr sud 0c.t we eycP
ha, ~ J Iotaoe
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
a RAILROAD INCIDENT.
Extremely Favorable Conditions foi
which the Conductor Was waiting.

Extremely Favorable Conditions foI
which the Conductor Was waiting.
One evening II passenger on Da-
kota mixed train got disgustcd nj
the rate at which they were progress
ing. He was very anxious to get To his
place of destination. II was so dark
and he was so little acquainted with
the country that he did not care To get
OF and walk 50 he called the conductor
over and said:
"sec here, aren't we going slower
than usual?'
Yes, a little"
II suppose YOU have am engine
hitchcd on the front end all right
cnough?'
Yes, of course there's locomotive
ON the train. ~
IL am very glad TO hear il is loco
motive. was beginning TO think per
haps 1t was "A stationary engine
NO, it's locomotive, but YOU see
we are going up grade.
How long is the grade
Bout six miles
The passenger settled back i'm his
seat and soon dropped into light
sleep while the conductor went for
ward and began the transfer OF coin
from the company's pocket in his coat
TO his own private safe deposit pocket
in his pantaloons.
After half hour or so the passenger
was awakened by the motion of the
car and started up to find il running
very rapidly He was very much
pleased and went over to the conductor
and said:
"Ah, got up motion at last
Yes
This is more like it, guess I'll get
through after all.
'Ics, We are running about forty
miles an hour
AS fast as that? Why i'm thunder
don't YOU run that way all the timeP'
"Well, we generally do under the
same conditions.
conditions? What are they?"
"WhN yOu see our train broke i'm two
just before we got to the top Of tho
grade and thi, car and the four box
cars just ahead Of IL are running back.
Wen be- al the foot of the grade In
about five minutes. and | expect to
meet freight train just beyond and
Im making calculations on that stop
ping us. If We don't Jump the track
before. EdCIUc (D. ~ BcH
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
HUMOROUS.

There Is an art in putting ON gloves,
says fashion paper Come TO think
Of 1t, You have to get your hand In. rs
IT were, in putting on glove properly.
--Bost0m Courier.
-"My dear, have you read what
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps has written
about silence as weapon?'" mo.
hubby; ] am not Interested i'm military
matters. ~ j. MaH
Boston lady Uo policeman) why
did you shoot that poor little dog?
Was hc disordcrcd IN intellect and be-
side himself with violent montal ex-
citemcntP Policeman mo. mum. That
dog was mad. VI Boston Post
An exchange says Last week
stranger came 10 our town with
turncd-up nose and rundown boots
town with a turned.up nose and rum
down boots can not hope 10 become a
great commercial center - ArkdHsdtO
Tr0Ccier.
Woes OF the Farmer
: farmer once callod his COW "Zcphyr."
she seemed such m amirnhlU hcphyr.
When the farmer drCw near.
She kicked on his car,
And now the old farmer much dOphyr
Good0iEs St1
A lawyer, on being asked by lady
the meaning Of the term 'fec-simplc,' y
replied.
Fec.simple, and a simple fee.
Aud ali the fees entail,
Arc nothing when compared TO thee,
ThOn best OF fees, Fomale.'
An American in China writes.
I'VE are going out ku kiunging this
evening Thats right We Ike 10
see an American enjoy himself when
he Is IN China; and If hc doesn't 90
out ku kunging his visits may be- re-
gardcd ~ = failure. By the way. what
in the dickens j. ku kimging? NorrE-
totDn Her0id
The following incident happened
in one Of the public schools in neigh
boring city 1cacher--''Deh tho
word cXcavatc. Scholar -"It means
10 hollow out Teacher "Constuct
q sentence in which the word Is prop
crly used. Scholar -"Tho baby cx-
cavatcs when 1t gets hurt ~ }. IN.
depcadenL
"A country boy applied TO an editor
for position "Iiavc YOU ever done
any newspaper work?' the editor
asked Nav. replied the boy. but
] ken dOit Then noticing the editor
tearing wrappers from exchanges. hs
said Il ken do that sOrtcr work bet
lcr the next man, Tor ! allus WuI
boss hand at -huckin' eco N ''- Art0H-
sam Tr0Cc'ry.
Doctor. what do you think b. the
matter with johnny We'll madam.
J can hardly tell just vet. but 7 think
the trouble is with thc pharynN. 81
m Dwcd iC I knOwcd them riuk- was
thc cause II 10 all and ] don caro-
wcthcr irs thc FAR Kinks or the near
rnks, hc.ll never bc ict 10 go near an
other one. lhic0gO LcdQcr
The editor was aroused. like the
sailOr-boy from slumbcr, at midnight
by sounds which seemed 10 come from
q lot a COWS that had broken into his
front yard and were lowing go gct out
On going out to release them. what
was his surprise and pleasure 90 hud
bcvy Of beautiful Young ladies and one
or two gentlemen not sO bopuiIfu, iu
the midst of thc grand old sDue sweet
By'apd By BWaei lUaj B+iieRN
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
A YOUTHFUL FRAUD.
lie issues - Divorce Decree and Pockets
Twenty -Fiye Dollar Zee.

lie issues Divorce Decree aud Pockets
= Twenty F1ye Dollar Zee.
A New York lawyer tells o story Of a
recent occurrence in his Office 10y which
his boy made twenty-five dollars. but
came near getting two people into a
very unpleasant prcdicamcnt
\ plain-lOoking man and woman
walked into the Office one day i'm the
absence Of the attorney. Ills boy greeted
The callers cordially and asked what
they desired. adding that Mr. was
out but that he attended 10 natter I'm
his absence. The man explained that
he and his wife did not get along very
well and both wanted 10 be- released
from their married relations
ION, That can easily bc arranged. ''
remarked the whilom attorney. and
looking wise he o-tcntatiOusly exam.
ncd lot Of law-books. and after a
few minutes proceeded 10 draw up an
agreement between the man and his
wife tO disagree. He framed fl. i'm the
language Ot The law, putting in the
"saids. greeting and aforesaid. ''
as well as an alarming array Of refer
cnccs to ''pariic- Of Che first part and
parties 0f the second part and even
TO '0 rtUcUIo tanirimOuiO. the latter
being intended tO properly impress his
clients. Large seals were added to the
documents, which the boy indorsed
with flourish and Qills 81 red ink.
then the agreement was duly signed.
The boy adding his name "a. a witness.
The man was very grateful. and asked
what TIE Zee was The small boy said
MY dollars, and TO the plea that this
Wm good deal 90 pay Tor 20 little
work answered But SOC wha! ! have
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
HELPING THE POOR.
How Young New York Girl without
Money Was Able To DO This.

How Young New York Girl without
Money Was Able to Do This.
A young girl was lamcnting that She
could be of no use to the poor because
she had no money A philanthropic
gcntlcwoman present said. You arc
"a fine reader, why do you not read
aloud to the poor of whom YOU happen
10 know "Oh. they do not want
amy one to read TO them" TRY IL
and see, was the answer II have
several families i'm mind who would be
delighted to hear reading while they
attend TO their darning and patching
There are mothers. also. who would bc
very thankful TO have some one to take
mp the baby when thcv arc hard at
work. Indeed, there are many ways
of helping the poor other than with
money. The young girl, full OF the
zeal OF service, az once set ont for the
abode OF poor woman who had 70
young baby Returning after two
hours she wa, radiant and told the
friend who had suggested tho plan OF
action that she could never hc ,ufici-
emily grateful TO her for her adj
vice. oh she said, won should
have heard the wcaricd voice that badc
mo come in. When ] entered the
room there was the poor baby CRYING
a. If its heart would break; inc other
two children. not much more shan ba-
bics. were fIetting; the. poor mother
was washing and every thing seemed
desOlatc. ] said Mrs. Brady. / have
come to help YOU with the BABY. Tho
poor woman replied: And shnre. Mis-.
what would We do with him2 For he.
that troublesome that he won Z be still
! took of hat and coat, and put ON nv
large apron aud took up the baby. afi
or patting bis back and walldnQ him
about q little while he became quiet
and went to sleep Then plrycd with
the other children and the, vjerr lust
go good e., could be- After Mu Brady
bad finished her work and bid her
goodbye. her hearty God lacss YOU
Miss; YOU have helped me q rreat bit.
made me feel quite happy and mean
10 keep up my visits without money.
" g. Times
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
A MISTAKE.

IadpoIe sat on a cold gray stone
And sadly thought OF his life.
- Alas. must live all alone" said he,
Or shall espouse me wifey'
wise old Frog. on the brink OF the stream
Leaned over and said, with a sigh:
oh, wait till you're older, my dear youn4
fricudS
YOu'l have Ootter taste by and by!
Girls change you know. and the Ponywos
slim,
That takes your fancy to-day.
MAY not be the Polly at all you'd choose
When the summer has passed away"
But the Tadpole rash thought he better
knew,
And married - Pollywog fair,
And before the summer was over, he sat
On the brink OF the stream in despair.
For would you believe III his fair young
Proved to be a stupid Frog,
with never the trace OF the beauty and
OF young Miss Poliywog.
And although the Tadpolc himself had grown
stout and stupid. too,
He only saw the fault of his wife,
tAs others sometimes dol
To all young Tadpoles my moral is this:
Before you settle in life
Be sure you know without Rny douht
what you want in the way of "A wife
st LOuis Win
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09

Albert and Maria HarIs colorcd
aged respectively sevcntv-two and Sis.
ty-six years, were reunited at Marshall.
Mo the other day. after separation
Of thiriy-seven years. They wego slave,
in kentucky and were separated Whep
sold. never hearing from eaSh Other
gntll 9alIe recently ., GhfeaSs iF'g
gstHh
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
ENGLlsH POVERTY.
UndcTfed SchooI-ChiIdren and the Insu-
tuition Organized for Their Relief

UndcTfed school children and the InstI-
tuition Organized for Their Relief
To meet the case Of poor. undcrfcd
sChool-childrcn there has for some time
past been q pretty general movement
in England for getting up for such
warm, wholesome and 80 far abundant
dinners for penny This enterprise
can not be said TO have failed. but iL
could not meet the case Of those, all
too numerous, who can not secure the
necessary coin. In order then 10 bc-
friend this still lower stratum. the half
penny dinner has been established at
birmingham, and, We are assured, 10
- not only doing p great deal Of good.
but II actually. a. far as il has gone, u
financial success.
Each child has the choice of hot milk
and bread. or thick soup with bread.
As q second course the little diner has
e piece Of bread with either cheese or
Jam. II seems from experience that
milk or jam arc the fayOrite dishes
with poor children The SOUP is of
such q quality that II is popular with
the ladies and gentlemen who COM
prise the voluntary staff Tickets are
sold ~ charitable ladies and gentlemen
At one dollar and twenty-five cents per
hundred, leaving something of a mar
gin for working expenses. These
tickets arc distributed among the poor
children 20 whom penny dinners are
unattainablc luxuries.
il IS sad enough that there should. in
what D. called "Mcrric England. be-
50 many school-children so underfcd
that even q half-penny dinner is be
yond their means Most people NAV
Doe inclined 90 think that there is no
such piuably abiect poverty In Canada.
We hope there IS not: but II Is not
quite at al an established fact that no
such dinners could with u.s.. even. find
customer We venture. ON tho con.
trary. 10 say that not % few in this
very city. and these adults as we'll ~
children, would boz only too clad fy
avail themselves of such cent dinners
and that not from -tngiuess. but ab.
sOluic need IOrOnto Gi0be
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09

There are people w learned. 90
says Che rOruhUi. "that instead of
talking about Alfred the Great. like Tho
rest Of u~ they must need. tAlk about
.EIircd, and then pronounce thc word
a7 though thc first half of 70 had some.
thing tO DO with ecls wtnruas the trae
Anglo-saXon sound ihE plumuy cv.
pressed is simply and solely the ooHl,
m0H A'fFeJ "
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
.. L,rr,lIi Ahhn, sri Csisrh Eln,ir

Having strrggied % years between
life and death with AST HMA %
.PH 7 HiSlC treated by eminent ply
.sicians and receiving no benefit 7 waa
.cowpellcd, during sho last FIVE years
.Of my illness 70 sit on my chair dsy
and night Rasping for breath my sut
.ferings were beyond description. ~
'desuair Tryperluneutcd on myself by
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09
3. & o. r. r. TIMETABLE,
WESTWARD

Condensed timetable of passenger train.
sor the stations named below
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09

fOmpOuDding roots aG q herbs and inhalinR the
nediene thus obtained Iforiunaiely dscoyered
CAThRRi, warranted 70 relieve the most stub-
born case Of ASTHMA IN FIVE MINUTES, 50
the patient can lie down % rest and sleep comfort
ahly. Any person not fully satisfied aher using
eue-third 81 a bov. can return the reuaindCr o.
he proprietor and the money viii bo refunded -
eoud me your address for trial package FREE
Of CHAR &C. Mrs.W. r. Brown, Monroe. tcrss
writes 7 suffered with Asthma 20 years. FouF
Great Remedy completely cured me. I weh az
hmiCtcd pith Asthma and Caiarrh 20 send for 10
Publish this for the benefit of the affifCtedm
Should your druggist not keep the Remedy I
en- send Il by mail on receipt Of prios s 90.
FOt saio BY al druggists, Address
ID. LANGEfi., Appiecreek, Ohio.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-04-09

Besides the above-named rains there is n
way Train with a passenger car attached that
goes both East and West daily except Sunday.
The Daily clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1888, 1886-03-03

The women OF our State pay no taxes.
They have no right To have their
daughters educated Ii Is nonsense. Ii
will do no good These girls win have
nothing TO do with The future welfare Of the
commonwealth, Wool Hat covecs no
mothers sons head, "Copperas Brooches
were bot dyed and made by woman $
hand. The Industrial College is not the
pride Of thefemale.heart olMississippi. The
women Of our State will honor the desc
Grating hands They will DO what they
can 10 advance those members who vote
against the bill They win remember
Their names through coming wears. They
win hang their portraits on The walls OF
their houses aud teach their sons and
daughters to reverence these household
gods. They will see that every such mem
Der Is returned 10 The coming Legislature
BY overwhelming majorities. They will
band themselves sogether for ibis purpose
sud march in sold phalanx to the goal.
81 course women care nothing for these
things.
Win "Junius,s who seems 70 be some
body who has "iust growed,r like Topsy,
without any maternal prngenitorl tell u
how much cheaper a girl can so to the
Colleges he names than to the one in qnes
tom We hope the Legislature will not
be frightened by his universal No
Would he. size OF il, object to telling how
many x-paying women contributed q
the one reply. No.
Wool Hat, Copperas Brooches and Juuius
fora trio which goes OF like sky
rocket on rejoicing day, loud and bright
but Guiding in total darkness. Ii there il
any member Of the Legislature who feels
The Daily clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1888, 1886-03-03
HOUSE FoRTY-FoURrH DAY.
MONDAY, March !, 1886.
NIGHT SESSION.

9AVNDAAf MArfn Il 1000
NIGHT SESSION.
House met ss per adjournment.
Speaker Sharp in the chair.
Report Of Committee on Benevolent
Institutions read and ordered printed.
BY Mr.. McCabe: Resolved LIST, That
the consideration Of no bill OF measure
shall be made special order except upon
two-thirds vote.
ID. That ON and after Tuesday, the
I'd day Of March,s.the House shall hold an
afternoon session, beginning at $3.50
p. NJ.
Sd. That the Report Of Appropriation
Committee shall be hereafter considered
III the night session alone and during said
sessions no other business shall be con-
sidered until said report shall have been
disposed of.
Adopted under suspension of the
rules.
House resumed special order pending
at the time Of adjournment in
Committee of the Whole.
Mr.. Norrell, Of Yazoo, lin tho chair.
About forty sections of the bill having
been considered, and many amendments
adopted, the Committee, at ii o'clock.
rose, reported progress, and asked leave
to sit again. Agreed to, and House ad-
journed.
The Daily clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1888, 1886-03-03


Pending the consideration Of School
Bill in the House, yesterday, Mr.. viii
hanson, Of Carroll, offered tho follow
ing as an additional section, which was
adopted:
DO II further enacted, That the fol
lowing shall be taught In all primary
schools IN this State Spelling, reading,
writing, English grammar and compost,
tion, mental and practical arithmetic
geography, United States history, ele
ments Of natural philosophy, elements
Of physiology, including hygienic physi
ology, with special reference to the
effects Of alcoholic aud narcotic stimu.
lants upon the human system, and such
other studies as may be deemed neces-
sary by the Board Of Trustees, with ap,
prevail Of Snperintendents.