The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-02-24
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

PUNGENT PAkAGRAPHS,
It isn't much of a dog that can't make
man 60 mad by biting him. @
AS was predicted, the winter has been
:. very open and lots of cold weather got
in.-Picayune. - . @.zs
Advertising'is good deal like making
love to a widow. It can't be oyerdone. /.
Chicago Ledger. a ~ Ssss
It's the little things that tell-especial-
ly the little brothers and sisters. Bur,
Ington Free Press.
The only leading lady that society re-
cognizes is the one who conducts pug
with string.-Judge. .. 81 Is,
The next worst thing to going to a.
dentist is going to a photographers. -
Nore0ich CONN., Bulletin. 4
Most men like to see themselves
in "print," but women don't. They pre-
fer silk or satin.-Tsras Figaro. Il
"Whenever my wife scolds me, said
hen-pecked topper, II go right straight
and liquor. ."-lndianapolis Herald. 4, Il.
Suns may set, and tides may how, t5.;@ II
States may sink from want of sticking,
Men may come, and men may go, s.
But a mule is always alive and kicking.
Judge. g
Some statesmen are continually putting
their ears to the ground to hear what
posterity will say Of them. .4-a2oustoH
(Teras) Post. ,p%s S;
The bangs having gone out of style
among young ladies the rolling pin and
washboard begin to look more hopeful. ;---s
Merchant Traueler. $fa i,
An awfully homely man at a sociable
where kissing games are played looks as
lonesome as straw hat in snow-storm.
-Nsw Yor!k Journal. ii.
Certainly, there is such thing as the
poetry of motion. That is the reason
the kangaroo is popularly regarded as . T
spring poem.-Puck. &
A Michigan boy had his left hand taken
off by buzz-saw, which he thought was
not moving. He now calls his right hand
his left hand.-Puck.
The win6 blew off his stovepipe hat, =.
1t landed in the mud;
No sadder sound was heard than that
Ker-wish, ker-whop, ker-thud!
-Goodalrs Sum.
"a student of human nature says any
thing can be sharpened." Some things,
however, don't need sharpening-so we
have heard experienced married men re-
mark.-Graphic. -....
Newark, New Jersey, has an anti
tobacco society composed of young
ladies. That is good thing. We hope
all the young ladies in that town will
give up smoking. g.-Boston Post. y5
One of the most melancholy pictures
that we see on our travels through this
vale of sorrows is fat dog trying to run
home against the wind across pond of
slippery, unscratched ice.-Puck.
She looked like funeral hearse, so sad, =
Of joy bereft and forsaken; ~
Oh, why was this change in feature. once
glad? - .&rtg g.:s
She was having her photograph taken j
-Gorhanu MountGineer. :.
In German army circles soldier Is
obliged to write home to his wife once
every month. An old bachelor says this
explains why so many Germans come to
this country to escape military duty
Norl5stoun Herald. .s.
Wifc-''What very polite young man
MIR. Dumley ISL" Husband-''Yes? l
never discovered it," Wife-"He was
very polite to me last evening. Among
other compliments he spoke Of my sing
ing" Husband" "Did he! That was
polite.-Ha1Yer's Bazar. ...-
SPRING POEM.
Oh, where is the thing I
We call "Gentle Spring." ...
The season of thaw and Of zephyr?
She singing psalm
In the land Of the palm,
Where she kicks up her heels like heifer:.
-Ne,U York Journal.
California papers are saying some cut
ting things about youth who swallowed
an open penknife three and half inches
long. It may afford the boys parents
some consolation to know that he will
not cut his fingers with the knife two or
three times day now, nor carve his ini-
tials on every piece of furniture in the
house. A penknife is less injurious in
side of some boys than out.-Noristoon
Herald.