Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1886-10-08

you Will ma IN Ln6C Ea6Lefn COunIEy,5
and . good deal Of present century
enterprise IS apparent. &c 2
Would the country suit the aver
age American? s4s.s3 1855
II think not. When it comes to,
that the Holy Land Is not place I
would adyiss any person to adopt as
9 future abiding place. : s..
How Cincinnatus Received the
News. ..55,. .
From tho Texas siftings. S# 5
When the Roman Senate elected Lu.
cius Quintus Cincinnatus Consul by 3
handsome plurality, notwithstanding
the Tammany detection and tho fact
that q Prohibition candidate was
sprung ON them at the last moment,
they appointed. q committee to visit
the nose Roman on his farm and an
nounce to him his election.
They found him engaged in doing his
spring plo ughing. As they approached
with all the dignity they could COM
mand while stumbling across ploughed
land in their long togas, he stopped
his oxen to ascertain who they were
and what they wanted. ~t
"Most noble Roman" said the
chairman Of the committee, in that
deep sonorous tone suited to the oc-
casion, 1--WE are here -
$50 see" said Lucius Quintus, eye
ing them suspiciously, ''but signed
contract for some ofthose patent bee
hives last summer and found it was q
note for $500, that had to pay at
the bank. You cans play the green
game ON me twice." -. ..-
''You mistake our mission altogeth.
En-" said the chairman, with offended
dignity, 1--WE are
"Lightning.rod men, perhaps. But
don't want any lightning-rods, nuth-
er."
"Deign, most noble Cincinnatus, to.
give me your attention for few brief
moments"
''Well, hurry up, old boss, and make
it short, for I'm busy's g. mules tail
in fly time" and he sat down on his
plough-beam, tanning himself with an
old straw hat.
'"The Republic is in danger" he
began, reading from long roll Of MS
that he produced.
'That sounds sort o. familiar.
'Nuther lection comm on, I reckon.
You're going to sound the tocsin, amt
ye? And mabbe you'll wave the
bloody shirt"
"The Roman Senate, realizing the
exigency OF the situation, has elected
you"
IF there amt them pesky colts in
my garden patch again." cried Gin
cinnatus. springing to his feet. "Whoa
there! Git out o. that!'' he yelled, as
he grasped his ox-gad and started
across the field to drive them out.
When he returned he was perspiring
and swearing like a. Roman trooper.
"Blankety blank them blank colts, he
cried, they'll Jump any fence that
was ever made. Say you fellers. You
don't happen to know q poke that
keep colts from jumping, do yer" -.
1.-The city which Romulus founded"
said the chairman, scarcely needing
the interruption, sin casting about
for a competent commander, every
way adequate to the emergency that
has overeaken us, the eyes OF the Sem
ate have turned toward YOU"
"Shaw! you don't say!"
"Your steadtast championship OF
the rights OF labor, your position on
the silver question, your uncompro-
missing opposition to the Chinese, your
refusal to avail yourself of the frank
ing privilege, and your scornful rejec.
ton of a. railroad pass while q member
OF your town council, the countenance
that you gave to the early closing
movement. your defiance on the fish
cry question, your"
"Come now boys, let up!"
"You refused to have your portrait
and biography published in a book Of
Eminent Men, your services as a
volunteer fireman, the ability you dis
| played as captain Of q mill
tia company, your having new
er written communications to
the papers, or shown yourself
in an open hack in Decoration Day
professions, your refusal to allow
you photographs to replaced ON sale,
your never sending proof slips OF your
speeches to the daily journals, never
making a, false return to the tax as
SCISSOR, or wearing pointed-toed shoes,
parting your hair in the middle, or
| saying chestnut and above all your
invariable habit of going to the polls
| and voting the old ticket without a
scratch, have induced the Senate to
call you to the highest Office in their
gift, the Roman Consu]ship!''
Cincinnatus was so overcome by this
time that he could only press the
speakers hand silently and lead
the way to the house, where he tapped
q fresh barre! of cider and invited
them all to join him in drink.
But he accepted the nomination all
the same -p.
A Strange Experience.
From tho Pittsburgh Dispatch. ~
An instance may becited as showing
the degree of sensitiveness in some
persons, the truthfulness of which is