Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-12-18
A DELICATE SITUATION.


firmed kleptomaniac. In all other respect
she is an admirable woman, though say
it who shouldn't She is beautiful
least in my eyes; she is comparatively
young, though perhaps she might not Ike
me to be too precise on this point; she hai
troops of friends and no lack of anything
that a husband in comfortable circum
stances and devotedly attached to her car
supply; and yet, owing TO some distressing
mental disorder she is continually bringing
home other peoples property.
Nothing, 1 am quite sure, could be fur
ther from her gentle disposition than the
vice of covetousness. She does not take
things because she wants them, or in order
to obtain cheap qualification. So far as
can see she is subject merely to the SAME
propensity as the jackdaw.
About year sgo Mrs. Arbuthnot, an &C
ouaintance of ours, lost valuable bracelet
which felt quite sure Maria had taken
But l never could find it, though l searched
the house from top to bottom. Mrs. Ar.
buthnot had her suspicious, l could see
and this drove me nearly frantic, not only
with thinking of what had become of the
bracelet, but also with trying to discover a
remedy for the existing state of affairs.
At last l hit upon what struck me as a
really good idea. Like cures like, argued
If | were to introduce into the house an
other kleptomaniac, would not Maria be-
come disguised and alter her way? A bad
habit in ourselves may be tolerated. but
when it crops up in others it often assumes
a most repulsive aspect and straightway
clamors for its own removal Such, at
least, was my idea. I thought il worth a
trial.
The first thing 10 be done was to secure a
genuine kleptomaniac. With this object
in view inserted in several of the daily
papers the following advertisement:
Wanted, a kleptomaniac, who must be
a lady of otherwise irTepToachable habits
and pleasing manners; she will berequired
to act as a companion to gentleman's wife,
who is similarly afflicted duties light; re-
Enumeration liberal. Apply in the first in
stance to X. Y. Z."-care of a firm of ad-
vertising agents.
Imagine my surprise at receiving fifty
seven answers to my advertisement, every
one of the ladies claiming to be a lady.
From the nature of the case, l could not
very well ask for references. Not that this
mattered much, for had enough confidence
in my own Judgment to think l could do
without them.
] went through the letters with great
care, putting aside all that tried to recon-
mend themselves by shamelessly describ-
ing acts of successful pilfering. l had no
hesitation in concluding these ladies to be
impOstors attracted by the salary.
There remained just five, who bashfully
said they were considered by their friends
to be kleptomaniacs, a statement which
they did not themselves indorse IN any
way
| decided 10 interview all FIVE, that being
the only way by which could discriminate
between them. Accordingly, I wrote to
ask them all to come to my house on GER
tain day, and added that would, of course
defray any travelling expenses. In order to
prevent clashing which l saw might place
me in a most unpleasant position, l re-
quested one lady to present herself punct-
ually at II o'clock, another at 1870, another
at u, and so on.
There would be no difficulty from my
wife, for she was to be away from home
all that morning 1t had been arranged
that certain Uncle Joe should escort her
to an exhibition which l had declined to
attend
When the morning in question arrived l
tried to bundle Maria out Of the house with
very unconjugal haste, but, notwithstand-
ing all my efforts, her toilet required so
much time that it was past II o clock before
she drove off.
When my first visitor Miss White, ap-
peared. a meeker-l looking creature / never
saw. She was neatly dressed in black in
figure she was tall, thin and rather angu-
lar, and she had pinched face, with very
mournful expression. When she first en-
tered she raised her eyes to glance at me
and then at the room, but after that they
FoIl bah lN
the ground.
Her intellect, Imagined, was a little dull,
for she apparently mistook the seat as
signed to her, and occupied the couch. In
self-defense l was obliged to move my chair
further away and face the light, which was
not what | had intended. Without taking
any notice of nv action Miss White laid
down by her side black bag she had been
carving. Then she drew out her handker-
chief, placed it on her lap, and folded her
hands over it. In this attitude, with down.
cast eyes, she silently waited for me to be-
gina most difficult thing to do, as | now
found. As ! tried to escape the necessary
questions so as to be the least offensive, l
grew very uncomfortable.
Ahem ~ l said, Miss White
There was a knock at the door and James,
my factotum, entered.
. A lady to see you, sir, he announced,
{" a Mrs. Stone"
show her into the dining-room, James, :"
] said, "and say I'll be with her in a few
minutes
Don't mind me-" said Miss White,
humbly. Since the death of my dear
parents l am usel to being set aside for
others"
but Miss White - l protested.
No, please don't apologize; l am not
used to that All my life long l have been
trampled upon. l merely state the fact, as
. / think it only right you should know
everything if am TO become an inmate Of
your house"
Another lady to see you, sir, announced
James, 4" q Miss Mildew.n
"S Show her into the library, James, 1
s;ammered.
I" Your parents, said 1, making frantic
effort to get to business, " we're"
Most respectable people, but unfortu-
nate. Yes; it's only right you should know
that
Another lady to you, sir, announced
James.
What room is vacant, James p asked
hurriedly. " Is any room vacant2"
"Only the boudoir, sir
Then show-who did you say it was ?''
" Mrs. Dark, sir
"Show her in there
By the time that my fifth visitor arrived,
an event which happened very shortly
after the arrival of Mrs. Dark, / was well
nigh distracted. There really was ne room
for this last woman. l could not have two
of them gossiping together and perhaps
quarreling, so I was compelled to ask Mrs.
Heslop to wait in the hall. It was very
rude, but what else could l do2 Besides,
such inconvenience as she suffered was en-
tirely her own fault-her eagerness to Sc
cure the post having brought her two hours
before her proper time.
Miss White l said, feeling at last Sc
cure from further interruption, are you
pray excuse necessary question-are you
really kleptomaniac?
Instead of replying she burst into tears.
It was distressing to watch and listen to
her. Looking around desperately for some
handle TO use against her, / experienced a
rude shock. Ny gold vase had dissp-
peared.