New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-28


have not only largo salaries but--perquisltes.
capable OF considerable expansion. In such an
office no one knows but the incumbent Just how
much he receives for his public services. This eX-
actlv suits a man of the COloneIs bountliul and
generous nature For as he says, tho Government
can never know exactly how much he may need In
npholdiug the dignity Of the American name rs an
! humble public servant. Hence he particularly
likes an Office with peTqusitrg. lie holds that al
! the Offices shonld he of this kind. Tho public
service ShOuld be, he maiptains like a house sup
! piled with water-pipeS and taps in every ROOM IL
gueSt needs only five gallons he Will use only i've
gallons but If he needs ten gallons it ia at hand So
1t ShonI be IN the public service. II the faithful
oiiGe-holder needs only five thousand dollars he
will use that amount: bat if the eNigencies of his
| position demand ton thousand, why should he not
have it Fixed salaries are the cause OF all the
/ stealing that we hear much abOut. ON the plan
| recommend, SAYS he. there will he no temptation
t. steal For a mans salary will he selt-adnStlng.
and there will he one of this cramplnS and STINT
ing oi the public servants which has proved so DIS
| aStrons his farseeing statesman never tires OF
repeating that u patton should nut the right men
IN the right places and trnst them to do the correct
The Colonel was thus trustcl by the Government
when he held the Office of Coal-oil Inspector OF
for his services in that position was ample The
amount of It was from the nature OF the case lett to
b. determined largely by his weIlknown discretion
The genluS of the man became AZ once apparent. a
master of the great Art of Holding Office began 10
show the people How to DO 1t. The Colonel opened
an Office in the central part of the city and was soon
! at w0rk like beaver. suppose Yourself Trend
! dropping in to see what he is doing lie is never
! too busy to receive
How do you like your Office, Colonel ~ yOu ask.
:" First rate. Take drink
"ispt coal-oil inspection rather dsacrccace
work = you ask with vIrgin simplicity.
-" don't handle the trif. My man Bill does that.
Il should think you would attend to it in
"Not Mt ALL Take q drink NY first duty is to
| the Government The Government wants me to
hoid MS "iISe eisn IheS "oui NOT nave hPloIntoq
me, can't bold this Office unless any party is kept
in power. The country will be absolutely ruined
unless my party stays in. owe as sad allegiance
! to the Government. My party Is the Government
at present, hence lifelong 10 my party and my chic
business IL TO work for my party Here. take some
| thing more
"Mv ;lea is that YOU are q aorvant of tho people"
well" saws he, omen who are elected 10 office
make such professions-all n sham though with
most of thcm-bnt we who are appointed to once
| take a higher view. In patcrna governments they
have to look after the interests OF the people bu; IN
free America the people are sovereign and can take
care of themselves. No no, am the servant of nv
party. II were TO stay among the coal-oll barrels
and tanks should be the servant of q lot of mer-
! chants and manufacturers, and ] could not look
| after the interests of my party. True statesman
ship consists in managing the country. We manage
the country by means of party | am IA statesman.
! The coa-oil barrels my salary but they cannot
m0nOpoliZe my time and attention There are say
ten thousand barrels Of coal Oi in Eureka City hut
| there also ten Thousand voters in the district
there is more statesnauship in managing The voters
than In inspecting the coal-ol II a man would he
success N carrying elections he must give the
| whole of his mind TO it, Hence have no spare
| time TO devote to coal-ol Take drink
In this Office the Colonel grew great and waved
famous Calling upon him a few months since
drew from him an account of his arduous lahors.
- IOu see said the Colonel Z" u practical poll
| ticinn must be at work all the time. Amateur poll
ticians only take a hand Just before elections. But
| they don't amount to much. Real workers ike me.
| men who carry elections, are always engaged.
There is so much 10 do. Let me show you. First
! thing Of all Won nust he a popuar man. Without
popularity Won can effect nothing. To retain pOpu-
| larity requires incessant effort, YOU have COT to
| rem ounce SELF. IOn must not expect 10 have any
| opinions OF your own. YOU must be "avs ready 70
accept whatever il popu'ar. Don't make tie expert
ment of pretending to be on the popular SIDE while
! yOu keep your private opinions to yourself, Won
! must have no private opinions You il Ice - bali
| hearted fraud aud failure il you do You must
feel the popular pulse and think with the majority.
! Tor porHt. ROT mi. never Try to form p"bhc
/ opinion but reflect II see which way the current
is running and go with H. DO you think ttai an
! easy thing 20 dol You were never moro mistaken.
Ii is the art of arts Twill not do to wait TIL public
| oninon. formed aud then Join the procession.
That's too slow, Won will not be leader. You mast
! he able not only 10 see which way he thing IS
going. but 10 which way II i GoHG 70 and in
| fallihIy too Yon have not only to watch the
enemy, bat Won have To keep an eye on the asblrnl
! and wire pulling fellows in v0ur own IartV lon
must know everything. be informed Of every move
! they make. aud never lie left ont when tEcc are
help to lay all tie pipe ion muSt stand in WITH
! tie re aous folks ! to all the churches aud
,rpa 'a'fdoar in the ha. ns the collectors come
| rourd. always. It paws. have good tin G. at TIE
! basAct-mcetinga II among Dentists pIa.,c IL, 10
ana tell them what Stauch Iari~' NV grand
father was claim fe,lowsh y with tie l'rcshvtcri-
ans because my m, tlcr was one: with tie Ncthnl-
lists Joke tie parsons their l0uGnc>s for chicken
! and remind thc:u that my brother presiding
! elder. sensible politician VII! he on good Terms
| with the religious clement, but VII Ice 40 hrci.
lie en- find good W"yd for taihgI' sas wei "a
/ prOtcstaut> aud for 1uidr'- too We hIuc 10 pay
/ much attention 10 ia" foreigners. They are far
from home and lonely and sympathilc with thoI.
! always da admire Iceland and tel 'lt ir-h OF
! NV admiration i pleas them ! can't remember
the dnv I'D not lovc Germany rsrudinr I'D many
good cit en- 70 an, land of freedom and mention
that fact to the Germans, OF course. II docs ;hcm
/ good and ne TOO,
/ "Ihcn u j. absolutely u,c"s ar' ~ nI, AMONG
| the hovS IN re s''"'"s r"H fn'" h'" = i'
with Others, hut Hni ~ "",i 20 nfnp ih cNrt HlY
They pot Won II y"n stay away too long 60! course
H.. L.. 81. a. 1 p