davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-10-03

III
LIT US suppose the mental powers grad
uaEy diminished, while the bodily powers
remain unimpaired. Suppose that pro
cess continued, until the mind no longer
troubles itself about unseen things, but
Is content with drawing differences from
actual present sensations, so that the look
ing forward-the taking thought for the
morrow, which Is the principal source
OF human mental suffering-ceases
to exist. You then approach the consti-
tuition of one Of the higher mammalia-
1t Is q constitution in which the chief
sources Of human pleasure remain un-
touched, while the chief sources OF hu-
man pains are either removed or dimin-
ished. In such q constitution, as COM
pared with man, the reduction in total
pleasures should be relatively small,
while the reduction in total pains
should be relatively large. Grant
to an animal so constituted I'M
stinted food, and it ought In theory to be
happier than a human being, the limita-
ton in its pleasures being more than
counterbalancsd by far greater limitation
in its pains.
Imagine o graminivorous q~uadruped
1 Will I1uA64coS PdobAAO oAN ~
state of things in which you ought to
find the maximum Of happiness OF which
the organization Is capable. Granted
that the totality Of its pleasures would
not equal the totalIty Of human pleasures,
by far more would the totality OF its
woes fall short Of the totally Of human
woes. II such an animal can not taste
the pleasures Of the knowledge OF good
and evil, neither has it to taste the mis-
cries of poverty and loneliness. OF loss OF
wife or child, OF failure In business, OF
knowing not where to procure food or
where to lay its head The problem how
to make both ends meet vexes the
mind Of the ruminant; monotnny has no
terrors for the OK; no fear Expresses It Oh
another's rivalry; no jealousy OF snother's
success Even when disease and decay
overtaks it it knows nothing OF that
which makes disease terrible to man
the knowledge that it must end In q
separation from those whom he loysA~
J Nineteenth Century,
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-07-07
HUMOROUS.

Tommy awoke in the night and
heard his father snoring fearfully.
Mammal he cried, 81 can't 60 to
sleep again when papa is sleeping out
loud!'
-She-"Hc's a very knowing dog;
why, when it's ten o'clock papa always
closes the house, you know, and then
Carlo banks; he's going to bark now"
Pack.
An Ardent Admirer: Miss Jennie
Chamberlain, the beauty, has trained
dog to lie down and act as her foot
stool. Would we were flea upon
that dog!-Moline Register.
He had just had his photograph
taken for the rogues' gallery and was
being led away. "Er-Ibeg your par
don, SIR" said the artist, as delicately
as possible, "but would you like the
negative preservedp"--M y Times.
"A man has been arrested in a
Western town for attempting to ex-
plode a dynamite bomb in the base
ment of theater. There is very lit
tie encouragement for man to under
take to ''elevate the stage" in this
country. NorristoDn Herald.
Geronimo is not pronounced Geo
ronimo, but Heronimo, says morning
editor. Hood bracious, what is he
hiving usr What a hay and hiddy
style of talk this hentleman would
het us into. By hosh, we won't have
it. Ho to! Ho to!-Waslinqton Critic.
Aunt Jane (from the country
conductor, just let me out at Nathan
Skies house." Conductor" don't
know Nathan Skies. What street does
he live onp Do you knowP" Aunt
Jane--"Well, no, don't. But I'm in
no hurry. just drive your bus around
town. l guess I'll know the house
when see it. lid Bits.
"A gamin in the gallery of the Holy
oke Opera-House, Monday night, near
ly "broke up" the actors during ali
affecting part of the play. The stage
was darkened, and one of the actors at
some ones approach repeated his line,
"Hark! What is thatp" "Rats"
shouted the small boy. and the house
responded. Springfield Republican.
Little Olive had been attending
school but short time; on reaching
home one day her papa asked her what
progress she was making with her
studies. The youthful student replied:
Il commenced on problems this morn
ing" The father, somewhat surprised.
asked her what kind of problems. 20.
| learned to make the figure 2" was
the childish answer.-Harper's Bazaar.
"A woman's aim: Charley-"Clara
in tears! What is the matter?" Clara
-"Oh, Charley-I don't mind telling
vou-Arthur has left me in anger. 1t
was trifling dispute, but" why
don't you try to appease his wrath?'
81 did; l threw him kiss as he passed
the window, but he did not see it "
Certainly not You shouldhave thrown
it out in the hall. and then there would
rave been some chance Of its hitting
him. "-PAiladelniia Coll
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-07-07
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Susan B. Anthony has completed
the third volume of her History ot
Woman Suffrage"
Miss Amalia Morosini was the 1854
patient inoculated by Pasteur, and the
first American lady.
Congressman Taulbee. of Ken
lucky, earned his first money after his
marriage by shoveling coal at fifty
cents day.
Roscoe Conkling says: "The
smallest country newspaper is worth
more to its subscribers in one month
than its price for year" For Presi-
dent of the United States, Roscoe
Conkling. of Utica Vineyard (M. ~
Gazette.
Rev. Charles B. Galloway, OF
Mississippi, who was recently elected
to a Bishopric in the Southern Metho-
dist Church, is said to be the youngest
man ever elected to such a high posi-
ton in the councils of the church His
age is thirty-iive.
United States Minister Cox has
been collecting mummies during his
stay in the East, and has sent fine
specimen over, over two thousand five
hundred years old with an authentic
record to the National Museum at
Washington.
Samuel Green, the second printer
in the United States, had nineteen
children, and his descendants were a
race of printers in New England and
Maryland. His son Bartholomew
printed in April, 1904, the first news
paper ever issued in America, the
Boston Ne,cs Letter.-Boston Budget
Caroline Herschel, the woman as
tronomer, at the age of ninety-nine
admitted that she, for some reason or
other, not only had never had an offer
of marriage. but that she had never
had any thing that she could construe
into the shadow of an idea Of an offer,
and that therefore she was not much
beholden to the men.
john Foss, of Sedgwick Post. No
"a, Department of Kansas, is said to be
the Oldest Grand Army man living.
He was born in Leeds, Me-, October
10, 1900, enlisted in Company B, One
Hundred and Forty-second Illinois, in
May, 1864, and was mustered out in
October, 1865. He had two sons in
the Ninety-sixth Illinois and both are
members of Sedgwick Post.-M Y
World
President Grevy, of France. was
seated in his Office few days siuce
when young man entered and said
"You no doubt understand the object
OF my visit. have been elected t(
take your placer The President
glanced at the young man and replied
II am not surprised. If you will &
upstairs you will find my secretary
who is at your command" The youns
man went upstairs, and steps wer'
taken to carry him to lunatic asylum
Literature has been killed b,
journalism; journalism is soon to b
killed by reporting" says the Pari
Figaro GAS for reporting, it will di
of itself; it is the last word Of the lit
erary decadence of our age; it is tn
man of letters replaced by the con
cierge. Under the new system lit
erary mans porter is better journal
list than his master" 1t further up
pears that it is from America tina
this cyclone. this terrible reporting
note of actuality, has come" TIL
American interviewer has done III
business.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-07-07

T. ASHAMED . standard Of excellence which
ldnits of no superior.
u oontains every Improvement that inventive
euius, skill and money can produce.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-07-07

Rev. T, Dewitt Talmage, in recent
sermon at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. took
for his subject "The battle for bread" The
text was:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27

evening puliins away, quite uneonsciodl that med
were several ladies' In the Transcript
remarkable spring is reported to have been osce,.
cred near Princeton. KY, which may prove boon q
victims Of Kentucky whisky. It Is claimed that 4
spnster born 177e who has drank Of this water hss
changed to q blooming girl Of "sweet sixteen; ana
of the water young he did a. twenty years Of
age and is delivering temperance lectures.
Pubsher-Dont you think wers getting rather In tia
sfraits for a literary sensations
Principal EditOr-Wel, yes. But have the MANI
scripts half dozen writer's who are expected to de
Well, that saves u.s. Omaha World.
Job Shuttle sat BY open CRATE FIRE upon which the
first faJl blaze was burning He was pleasant noo4
oose said he to Mrs Shuttle. that the children wefs
q" You suppose 80 Why don't you know they wersr
an hour after school began.
"Ob, he carrying note from the teacher to hse
best young man."
THAT'S pretty business ,,.
But she marks him ten in HE studies. for keeping
ION, that makes a difference lfiartford Post
tn. Aurora tl Blade boasts over tho fact that whis
only ve years ago started with three regular sub
scrbers and one fellow who said he would talk with HE
wife about IT, now the subscription book is running
over with smes and editor compelled to chsg
the balance down on tho back Of the stove-pipe.
EnrIIsn nobleman temporarily fmpecun.ous-N you'1
favor me with pound or two. when my next Remit
lance comes will call on you. ,..
of fbertyAre the mails a. Irregular az they were
ayear ago when you asked the same favor OF me
NObleman (slightly ernOarrassed)-fes; TO Toll the
truth, the Queen discriminases against mo - mucn
Why is that"
Jealousy; I'm descendant, don't you Know, Oh sae
boston Record
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27
4 SEVERE TEST OF P4TIENCE.

The friends of Ireland have cause for much |
anxiety at this time. While 1t Is more lhah
ever necessary that no aid should be gwen TO |
the advocates of coercion, the circumstances are |
such that severe strain is likely to be put upon
the endurance Of a cOnstituuOnally impatient
class of men. 1t is the interest of Mr.. Parnell
that when Parliament meets in November there
should be no excuse for the presentation OF
any new rcpressive Irish legislation by the
Government But it is doubtful question
whether Parnel can hold back the fiery spirits
of the League, and if half they have threatened
is put in action the state of things IN Ireland Is
liable to be just what the advocates OF coercion
want. The danger with the League is that 1t
is conscious Of its power, and that this con-
scjousncss is q constant temptation. 1t knows
that it can put stop to the payment Of rents
over two-thirds Of the island, 10 make moder-
ate estimate, and this knowledge is very apt
70 bring about the exercise Of the pressure.
But if that temptation is yielded to the Gov
eminent will be ostensibly justified in adopting
npressive measures. and this is precisely the
| result most to he avoided.
Irish patience will he tried in other ways.
If the statistics Of the League even approx
imately correct, large number of tenants are
really unable to pay The udicial rents, and mu t,
therefore, fail to do so, whether OF not the
League interfcres. Failure Will invoke evlc-
ton, however, and eviction practised on
large scale must test the endurance Of the
people sOrely. II they can stand the ordeal
the facts will constitute the strongest agu-
ment for rent relief and the strongest mpcach-
ment Of the Government. If they cannot stand
IT, and either with or without the aid and cOun-
sci Of the League resort to turbulence, the
Government will in the general view seem TO
he indicated and Mr. Gladstone and his party,
or rather we should say his followers, to be dis
credited. The prospect of Liberal return TO
power in England at present appears to involve
the future of Home Rule. 1t is certainly much
diminished by the increasing acerblty Of the
quarrel between the GladstOnians and the
Liberal Unionists, but that difference would
10 more open TO adjustment If the coming
winter in Ireland should be peaceful Events
necessitating or aftording a plausible excuse
{ for coercion can only drive the Liberal Union
lists into closer alliance with the Torres, ant
r leave Mr. Gladstone more helpless.
( There is no apparent hope for Home Ruiz
!, under tho present Government, and the presen
4 Government represents an undoubted rcactoI
Y in public sentiment, which, though cXplainc(
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

C,sl,epbam England IL a very enlightened town.
especially noted forts many excellent Schools Anu
VET the whole town Is worked up over the a1eseu
annearance of AL old ady's ghost who wants TO show
somebody whore buried $500 before she Died Inc
mnnicpal authorities under tue advice OF the ghost'
have offered $50 TO any one who Will ma the treasures
and regular ghost trains run In from the SUBURBS
for the convenience OF those who want TO see the od
lady's shade
o,,,n Iowa citizen eudeavored to brighten burglar
out Of Ills by wrapping himself III sheet N siu
laton OF q ghost The burglar being OF an Acc9nmo,
pistol at him. thus making the PRESERVATION more
reailstlc.-lBo Transcript.
Aman is running for Mayor In Key West Fla, who
stands only twenty inches high and weighs twentyeigns
and half pounds
Mr., Colonel Melowind-My dear hubby, do not pe
so reclusive, For week you have been as melancholy
"a mummy. Pray, what is the matter
disturb my revere am worried. greatly worried.
something g make ny SsMPSsu what
has become O tnose sLumps you USED Two ears aso
-lOmaha " Vrld.
A. H. Harlan, OF New Burlington, Ohio proposes that
IN. descendants OF Ge Jrge and Michael Harlan hold
national reunion sometime In 1887 the two-hahureatn
| anniversary Of their landing In America.
Brother iona tnan-why do you send so many people
! to Siberia 49,,
link tney'n do har H. ehi"
"wel. they have nothing but their own personal IN
"mamp1, that's queer Why. have plenty of the
| same kind" 80
| "Eh What do you call themi"
| professional politicians" -lOmaha World.
An Iowa insurance company offers 5000 for tho best
plan for q tornado cave.
How Will II be when tho roses fade I" sings Lucy
Iarcom We don't know how 1t IL down where you live'
Lucy but up here Lowell the girls Pile on the fouso'
Lowell Courier.
Tho actin room" In worthy farmers house IN
Maine Is adorned with tho legend: io on paric fr""
Gals ,French spoken here. prettiy framed Podaio'
sold 1t to the farmers wife, with the ASSURANCE th~'
was the original Latin for God Bless our Home.
see said stubbs. that DR.. Michael Foster tes tn'
British Association that smoking tobacco prouuoos no
Iective vision do you believe IL "Oh Aw suio ="
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27

New-Yorkcr has noted, Of course, the numerous
h,oclodcs down.to caused by loadcd
trucks and have generally supposed the evh
TO be unavoidable so long as 'niS ,hou
maintained her supremacy but .ncio
chance, it seems, that this ovcrcrowaihe VI .no
streets may he greatly relieved. A company
is lust formed which wants TO buy up inc draSs
and horses of the present owners employ INC
old owners as drivers, and then conduo' inc
business Systematically. The success OF such d
project is dependent upon many cona,'oh'
me any scheme to relieve our crowoeo 'hor-
m0hfares will have the best wishes OIL 'ho
hnsinCss community.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27
MUSICAL md DRAMATIC NOTES.

Mrs. Langtry arrived from England on the ALASKA
yesterday. As already announced this fair ana
popular lady will begin her at the Fifth Avenue
Theatre in the play OF "A wifes Peril" Mr.. Charles
Coghlan is the leading in Mrs. Lanstrys company
and her repertory plays will include The Lady Of
Lyons" "The School for Scandal" Mr.. Coghlans
comedy OF Enemies" and comedy written fog
Mrs. hqs sy M sSSssy Of M
pany arrived In the America
clara Morris will appear In New-forkfor tho mr."
time this October IL at the "indfor IheatN
IN Article AZ"
The accom- plished musician and weiKnown precep'or
signor Achille Errani, has just arrived nome "o"
Europe where he passed the summer.
Tho dramatic company engaged at the Madison
souare Theatre this season include Agnes Booth Maud
Harrson Annie Russell. Marie Burroughs. Mrs. 4. j.
Phillips j. Ii. stoddart. W. j. lie Moyne FREDERICK hoo-
inson william Davidge sr Louis Warren, r. NJ hohaha
and p Flockton. In the course OF the season r PIT
A NJ Palm or will present the following plays: Jim.
the Penman" Our society ID Ennerys Martyr,,
ne W play by Henry Arthur Jones: ana play w h'
Frank Harvey entitled =" Judge Not
Mr. T Mcneil Whistler, the artist who will shortly
arrived in America and, under the management OF Dir.
r DOyly Carte, will deliver his Ten O'CLOCK lecture
IN the principal ctles completed portrait OF Mr
Ienry F. Dixey AfoHts, AM mas presenleo "o VIVA
to Mr.. Dixey.
Mrs Chanfrau's engagement continues at the fou''
tenth Street Theatre where this handsome aad
woman has been cordially welcomed In The scaps
| goat" Wednesday and SATURDAY aiserhoon p'i''
| ances given at this tneatfe.
Mrs Bowers has Just finished successful engagement
in Washing ton at Albaughs Theatre The company III
cludes Joseph Wheelock John Lane. MARX Ly men, 'u
! dolnh strong Donald Smedt Jenny Carroll ana fahhj
| Gillette.
Mr. John c. Freund will deliver lecture at Ca'ckerin
Hall II orr0w evening, ehliIieo "oioi' ""A ~
the Footlights
Massrs Roasou and Crane have begun their season VIII
tha . Comedy of Errors decked out in fine paSeantrJ
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27

chiefly by misunderstanding can only oc re-
versed by the maintenance OF such an Ar'sh
nolicv as will disarm criticism. IL there Is
not na,iencc and wisdom and discipline enough
in the ranks of Irish patriots to MAINTAIN such
a nolicy through the coming winter the prooa-
biIitv is that the spring at furthest VIII prihg
renewed coercion, and that the conditions when
afford the basis for such measures VIII al inc
same time deepen and extend the present hos''e
reaction. with the effect of postponlhg inc sue
cess of Home Rule for some time. vi course
there is a possibility that foreign complications
vncb rs trouble with Russia in ASIA may ioroo
the hand of the Government and compei "o
nlacation of Ireland as the least OF two disagree
able alternatives but such incidents oanno.
he counted upon. 1t is to herself that Ireland
must look for the means Of salvation az this
time and if she has the resolution and persist
once 70 disappont the expectations OF those VINO
do not love her, the reward of her consistency
NAV be nearer than she hopes. Meantime the
advice given her from this country should pe
snch as will encourage patience and not 'ena
IN laWlcssneSS.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27
PERSONAL
10 W :, iran
half tight.

mr. r Mccormick who was the chlef ineulca oiDcer
md naturalist OF sir J. @. Ross memorable EreDns anu
Terror erediton toward the South Pole IN ioS9-ao'
and VAS with sir Edward Parry In his Arctic voyage ID
ao7 ia now eichty-sx years DID, hale and hearty lie
lives at Wimbledon, England ana SUI t'Ae' uooP 'A
est I'm all polar explorations
p,shop Howe, of the p F.. Diocese OF Central Pennsy
yania is working hard for the establishments VI NUM-
tor friendless children al heao'hs'
covernor Albeit OF New-Jersey, is close reader OF
the newspapers
Mr. Edward Hale will be ordained associate pastor
18th h,s father the Rev. Edward Everett Hale, over
tne sonth Con gatona Church, Boston, October H.
A Roman Catholic court is holding weekly meetings
20 consider the claims to canenza on PIT l9rwaru III
behalf OF the late Bishop Neumann' OF fhadeipn"'
Mr. uatton. the eminent English composer whose
death has just been announced was porn
in Liverpool in 1909 lie receiver
little instruction in music In MS youtn ou' was
otherwise self.taught He settled in London In 1882
and soon became known as a composer. In leiZ 10
WAS engaged at Drury Lane Theatre, aud 10 lofA no
nroduced in that house opcrsLta called The Q ueen
n, the Thames" Soon after he went to Vienna, where
he brought out an opera called Pascal Bruno On
nj. return to England he published under the
nssudonyln of "Czapek" several songs which met
with success. Mr. Hatton visited America In lS4S. lie
was for some years director OF the music az the
Princesss Theatre under Charles kean anu w''e q;
" sardanapalus" 1883, Faust and Marguerite
ns5H' kils Henry viii" $3.50, "Pizarro" 1880,
Ec Of Venice a and ADO About Nothing
Qs5s.) He also composed two Catnearal o serves;
Of $50 songs. His opera called Rose, OIL
Loves Ransom was produced at Covent Garoea ~
heard at the Bradford Musical Festival in 1855 One
his latest works was Hezekiah, sacred drama,
which was produced at the Crys'a' ra'Sco on O'00''
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27
Messrs Roason and Crane have begun their season VII
the COMEDY of Errors decked out in fine paSeanry
nv Alfred THOMPSON. and cast as follows:

Mr. w. g. Gilbert is credited with witty remark. %
Is easy enough for bishops DO good on salaries OF
$4,000 a year" said the satrical dramatist, looking
round upon circle OF literary friends. "oat we nave
to be good for noIhing(a pause-and SOME Oh US are
Olh,Io is the shakespearean character inwhich Mr..
Wilson Barrett intends to present himself, al Lon
don.
On board the Umbria her homeward voyage
musical and dramatic entertainment was given III au Oh
the Liverpool seamen's Orphanagc. Mr.. Irving rected
CalverleY's Gemini and Virgo" In excellent style.
Mise Een Terry had charge or the excuelier aE' eo
lected $275 for the charity.
Mr.. william Andrews, Of Hull. England Que of the
most schoar-like and interesting OF writer's upon an
ouarian subjects contrbut to the september numocs
OF Home Chimes valuable paper entitled "Ihe Dawn
O. the English Drama" This composition states. in
simnIe straghtforward style and within the compass
OF halfa-doZen pages, the material facts apout ee
recious plays with which the drama started IN thes
land and IL cannot fail to prove useluI 70 theal@
readers.
The death list includes the name OF Mr. Thomas Coo
formerly OF the Haymarkst Theatre, London. under
Ruokstone's MANAGEMENT and lately stage director Tor
Mrs. Langtry.
At Auckland New-Zealand, q company OF whicn Mr
George Rignold and Miss Kate Bishop are leading mem
bers recently ended engagement Al Meloo"rpe'
Miss Alice Barnett has been successful as Jane III
&" Patience" and in performances OF "Ihe sorcerer'
"Tr,al by Jury" "Iolanthe." and "Iho Mikado'
These neriOrmances we're succeeded by " Inc SILVER
KIng"' AT Adelaide Mr. Alfred Celier, the comp,sSi
was the guest OF SIR william Robinson, Goyeruol OF VIZ
colony Among other performers iateIy T IN Mr.
philip Day. Mr. Garner. Mr. W. Elton, II, -, VI o01''
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-09-27
MONDAY. SEPTEMBER 27. 1885.
TIE NEWS THIS MORNING.

Fopy,eN-Ireland's time of peril Mr. farnell
.nnesl to his oountrymen In America g now
igbt ON the Eastern question. - hlo1ha IT.
.nmed In Belfast. - Fenlan plot 10 Uui"
Hull. 4. .,,o;r
Observation-Disclosures people return TO their
.burcbes little fear felt Of the storm predicted ny
Virgins. - New disclosures OF Democratic OH.
cal misconduct in Ohio. 60 The Maro'oncau
Yacht race expected to take place to-day :" NE, :,
pnblican dissensions in the Black I'ls'ric' Vi
Sonth Carolina - Explosion OF new iocoihotiNo
on the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. - Two
persons killed by tram near Providence -
Eleven persons poisoned IN Arkansas - pon-
t,c,an killed by a reporter and Chnaman muir
dered bv police In New Orleans.
CRY AND SUBURBAN.-AIrival of Days Com
many. Violet Cameron and Mrs. Langtry. -
Hotels and cottages burned at Rockaway beach'
- General Booth, of the Salvation Army, ar
rived from England. - Sermons In various
churches. 80 Activity Of Henry Georges sup
porters NJ.
INK Observation-Disclosures for to-day: Nearly
stationary temperature some cloudlness ana per
laps light rain. Temperature We terday' hlsnes'
So: lowest. 60 average. 1883.