davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
Why He Married Her.
from the Boston Record


Sllas Is a country character, who
means well. He tries to earn living,
and 'ftinkers around" at odd jobs and
chores and whatever he can get to do;
but he works good deal as he talks,
with painful drawl that is very sug-
gestive of that state of natural rest
fulness which mis- ilk call "born tired F"
Silas came to mend fence the other
day for one of his patrons in the sub
urban village where he belongs, with
g. peculiar air of festivity about him.
He had on a bright new necktie of blue
Japanese silk, and his honest face was
covered by an expansive grin all the
time that he was receiving his orders.
'You seem happy, Silas," said Mr..
Blank, with some curiosity, when he
had finished about the fence.
"Ya-as," drawled Silas. "Ya-as,
I've been a gittin' married this morn
in"
Married? You? Why, Silas, man
alive, what On earth have you gone
and done that for? You can't support
yourself as it is ]"
"Wull," said silas, 81 ken poorly
near support myself, N I think it's a
durn pity If she can't help somer'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
A King and His Doctors.

A good story is told of King Ernest
of Hanover. He was seriously Ill, and
saw numerous doctors, but he would
not take any medicine. As any bot
tie or powder was brought, his majesty
said, "Put it in the Cupboard" and
again and again it was "Put in the
cupboard" Not one drop was touched.
Starving and patience were the only
remedies resorted to. At last his
majesty got his good turn, and began
to feel that he could eat again with q
relish, and by degrees nature flung off
the disorder whatever it was, which
had run its course. His majesty was
up and dressed early, and at business.
Get all those bottles, powders, and
pill. boxes out OF the cupboards," he
said, "and range them in q row round
the room" 1t was very small
room, and they almost made a circle
round the walls. The doctors came
in, smirking and smiling, and congrat-
ulated the king upon being up again
and looking so well. eyes, doctors"
said his majesty, "thank God it is so.
But look there-count it up. Don't
you think il / had taken all that id
stuff [ should have oeen dead long
ago ?"
IT is amusing to read In American
papers, says the Hamilton (Ont. J
Times, that baseball is gaining so rap
idly in popularity in Canada that it
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
"A Curious Custom.
From the st, James Gazette.

From the st. James Gazette
A curious old custom among the
quarrymen of the Isle of Purbeck was
observed yesterday at Corfe Castle.
There is among the quarrymen O. char
ter bearing the date of 1851, which is
vigorously obeyed, in order to keep
the working of the stone quarries in
the hands of freemen. To be able to
keep up ones freedom one must be the
legitimate son of g. freeman. He must
be 81 years of age, up to which time
his wages belong to his parents. Once
during the year thequarrymen meet at
Corfe Castle town hall, and there read
the charter, and on that occasion
namely, Shrove Tuesday, free boys''
claim and take up their freedom. Yes
terday morning g. large number OF
quarrymen assembled in the town
hall, Corfe Castle, and proceeded to
the election of officers, after which
about twelve freemen were sworn in.
Each man has to sign the roll of free
men, pay a fee of 6s. 3d., provide a
penny loaf made on purpose by the
baker Of the place, and to buy a pot OF
beer. The man thus sworn in thus be-
comes his own master. Should any oil
the freemen desire to marry during the
next year he has to pay to the stew
ards "a marriage shilling" and should
he neglect to do this his wife loses all
interest in the quarry, and cannot
take an apprentice to work for her.
After the above business was trans
acted the ceremony of clicking the
ball' commenced. The ball is provid-
ed by the man who was last married
among the freemen, and is presented
in lieu OF the marriage shilling" II
1t should happen that no freeman has
married since the previous Shrove
Tuesday the old foot ball is used.
The ball was taken from the town hall
to a field at Corfe Castle, and there
kicked about by anyone who wished.
These novel proceedings terminated
by the ball and a pound of pepper be-
ing taken to the lord of the manor, as
an acknowledgment to him in respect
OF the way to the River Over.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

prospered until he ventured to put
some medicine in his bread pills last
week, with disastrous result to his
patient and the police court for him
self.
DR.. T. E. NAGLE, of st. Augustine,
Fla, has sent a Spanish silver pista-
reen of 1711, to the New York World
to be disposed of for the benefit of the
fund for Mrs. Hancock. The coin
is a very rare one and quite valuable.
A KENTUCKY temperance worker has
his converts sign a pledge which reads,
81 do sincerely hope that if I drink
beer or whisky until (date named
here), without being considered sick,
that bad luck may be mine the re-
mainder of my life, so help me God"
The signer holds on until his thirst
overcomes his superstition in luck.
The fruit production of California is
something wonderful. During 1885
she produced in raisins over 9,OOO,-
500 pounds, or nearly three times as
much as in 1884. She also sent to
market last year 1, 100000 pounds of
prunes, 1,823,OOO pounds of apples,
l 300, 900 pounds of peaches, 1, 1885,
900 pounds of plums, $50, 900 pounds
of apricots, 100000 pounds OF hon
ey, 100000 pounds of walnuts and
100000 pounds of almonds.
The Washington Ga.) Chronicle
says: ga slack wad' is new express
sion which has come into common use
and describes what we understand as
a marrow gauge, one gallous man."
Neither of these expressions can be &C.
cepted as classic, but they are very
expressive, and all of them will proba-
bly, be accepted as descriptive of GER
tain characters which we meet occa-
sionally. The South intends to keep
up in wordmaking, as well as in othe
things, and we want credit for what
ever we originate.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
The Game Not Worth the Cost.

From the Lewiston (Me) Journal
While Judge Walton was at work in
his chamber at Portland one day
many years ago drawing an opinion
in a knotty case q certain lawyer came
in. This lawyer (he is now deceased)
was a thin, tooth-pickish, dudish sort
ofman, whom the judge did not like very
well, and than whom herather had seen
Daniel Pratt himself walking into his
chamber. "Well, Brother Lightweight,
what can | do for you this morning? %
asked Judge Walton, hoping to get rid
of the fellow. Nothing" he replied;
"I only came in to make you q CALL"
After & disagreeable silence the judge
looked up again and asked; Brother
Lightweight, why don't you get mar
ried ?" Because I can't afford it; how
much do you suppose it costs me to
live now?" The judge said he couldn t
guess. "Well, it costs me $4,000 a
year for just my own living" An ex-
preston of surprise came on the
judges face. 'Lightweigh5," said he
~ wouldn't pay it; it isn't worth it =
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

There was a sudden tumult, q wild
cry OF tire, and then a crowd surged
down the stairway. When I picked
myself up, the officer who arrested
me lay on the sidewalk with frac-
tured skull. limped quietly away,
and TOOK the outgoing train for Lou
isville. [ had no passport, and
trusted to luck.
"Passes, gentlemen" shouted a
sleepy lieutenant, as hepassed through
the car. l kept my head bowed
down, with my hat over my eyes.
"oee here, show me your pass -
said the officer.
A gruf man behind me spoke up
and said:
"Iou don't want to see it twice; he
showed 1T to you a minute ago."
"Beg pardon" said the soldier,
slightly confused. BE went on, and ]
was safe at last.
have never seen the senorita since,
and have no desire ever to meet her,
or rather him, again. The cold
blooded devil would have shot me for
g. spy beyond doubt if it had not
been for my lucky escape at the thea
ter
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
Some Curious "BuIls."
From the Troy Times |

From the Troy Times
The Irish have achieved great celeb
rity in the matter of bulls and blum
ders. A native of Ireland thus sum-
med up the case in g. communication
to a Dublin newspaper: It was an
Irishman, he said, who wanted to find
a place where there was no death, that
he might 60 and end his days there.
1t was an Irish editor who exclaimed,
when speaking of the wrongs of Ire
land: "Her cup of misery has been for
ages Overlooking, and it is not yet full"
1t was all Irish newspaper that said
Of Robespierre that he left no children
behind him except brother, who was
killed at the same time. It was an
Irish coroner who, when asked how he
accounted for the extraordinary NOR
tality in Limerick, replied sadly: 81
cannot tell. There are people dying
this year who never died before" It
was an Irish handful that announced
with boundless liberality, in reference
to g. political demonstration in the
rotunda, in Dublin, that "Ladies
without distinction of sex would be
welcome" It is Mr.. Kinaham, an en-
inent merchant in Dublin, who con-
tinues to announce in his newspaper
advertisement that ne still has on
hand the whisky that was drank by
George ", when he visited Dublin in
1911.
A good pendant Of this is told Of two
friends who met, and referred to the
illness of third: "Poor Tom Murphy,
faith Pm afraid he's going to die"
''And why would he die?" ''He has
been laid up with sickness for some
weeks, and is SO reduced that you'd
scarcely know him. You're thin, and
I'm thin, but he's thinner than both
of us put together"
And again, in the bay of Aughrim,
in the last century, plenty of gun-bar-
rels used to be found as memento of
its great battle, and therewa black
smith who dug them up, in order to
make use of their material. On one
occasion one of them exploded in his
forge, when he exclaimed: "Bad look
to your love of murther; isn't the bat
tie of Aughrim out of you yet %
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
An Old Georgia Note.
[From the Savannah Times.

FROM the Savannah Times.]
Since the first reference by the
Times about q week since to the fact
of the existence Of some old continent
al notes, a number have been brought
to light. We have mentioned several
of these. Yesterday, however, a we'll
known citizen brought to the office a
well-preserved note of the date 1862,
the Oldest that has yet been presented.
1t is ofthe denomination of 5 shillings,
and bears the following inscription:
Georgia-No. 1929. Five shillings.
This indented bill of credit, due for
his Majesty's Province of Georgia,
shall pass current in all payments to
the public treasurer, and all others,
for five shillings sterling according to
law. 1862.
In the right corner is the figure of an
Indian in q warlike attitude. In the
left corner two signatures in writing,
one of which is legible and appears to
be Alexander Woodbridge, who we
were informed was grandfather to the
late Wylly WOODBRIDGE.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
Pressure of the Sea.

It is often asked, when an ocean go.
ing vessel has been lost at sea, and it
IS supposed she has foundered, why
none of her timbers rise to the surface
again and float, as submerg,d wood
will near the shore. The explanation
is that if the vessed has been sunk in
deep water the pressure to which it is
subjected will be so great that a Ger
tain quantity of water will be forced
into the pores of the wood, and thus
render it SO heavy that even when de-
tached from the ship a piece of the
timber could not float. It is because
OF this constantly and rapidly in
creasing pressure, too, that q diver
cannot descend to any very great dis
lance below the surface.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
True Gratitude.

A young Englishman arrived at
Hamilton, Ont, several months ago,
destitute of money and friends. The
mayor after investigation gave him
money, and the Young Men s Christian
Association helped him. By and by
he got work. Now comes the climax
OF this remarkable story. Hepaid the
mayor the money hehad got from him,
and left with him like amount for the
next unfortunate that might need it,
and he paid the Christian Association
people for every bit of food he had re-
ceived at their hands.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

will soon rival lacrosse. If it's popu-
larity is to be measured by those VINO
play it and the crowds who attend to
see it played, baseball in Canada has
reached degree OF public favor that
lacrosse never attained. Most sports
have their ups and downs, but base
ball is on top in Canada and seems
likely to stay there.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

If you offer an Office boy SO cents
to walk up to the park with small
package for you he will assume long,
sour cast of countenance, and will tell
you he has something else to do; but
give him 20 cents and tell him to ride
up with the package and back. and he
will start off and walk every foot OF
the way there and back, to save the
car fare for a couple OF packages OF
cigarettes -PUck
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

EcRU satteen has pansies of all col
ors strewn over il. The border has
large papsies massed together, and
sprays OF lilly Of the vally. The flow
ELS are true to nature, all the exquis-
tie tints of these charming blossoms
being perfectly reproduced.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14
A Puzzled SchOOl-Master.
rFrom tbe T,ewiston mel Journal. |

From the Lewiston (Me.) Journall
Ex-Pres;dent Franklin Pierce once
taught in Oxford County. The Demo
craft says that a problem in algebra
was brought to Mr.. Pierce by a scholar,
with q request that he give aid in solv-
ing it. He took the problem, worked
on it long time, and being unable to
solve it gave the scholar q lecture on
perseverance and advised him to work
it out himself. That night the young
schoolmaster worked at his room un-
til very late hour on the problem,
but without success. Finally in asort
of mental abstraction he got up and
commenced pacing the room. While
so doing he noticed a small closet near
the side of a chimney; opening this and
exploring it's interior he found a torn
and wrinkled piece OF paper with
figures on it. Taking it out he found
that the figures on that piece of paper
were the solution of the very problem
which had perplexed him so greatly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

THERE is g. very strong probability
that the district school system will be
abolished in the towns throughout
Maine by On act of the next legisla-
ture.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-04-14

THE city of Berlin, with about the
same population as New York, has
800, 600 more square yards of streets
than our American metropolis. 1t has
comprehensive educational and char
table systems and maintains twenty
three free circulating libraries. It's an
nual municipal expenditures are un-
der $1O,OOO,OOO. The annual ex-
penditures OF New York are nearly
$50, 900, 0OO-over $1O,OO0.OOO be-
ing required for salaries of ofice-hold-
ers alone.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-09-29
The Half.Human Elephant.

The half-human elephant has brain OF
very large size, and its elevations and
dcprcssons upon the surfaccincreascs the
extent of the acting cells to an enormous
degree. Its intelligence is certainly
greater than is pos ,csscd by any other
quadrupcd, at least any Of those living
in q state Of nature. 1t is probable that
some Of the apes exceed it in this regard,
while the dog, among domestic brutcs,
is n rival in estimating animal intellect.
Its wonderful acutcncss of the sense of
touch, developed in its trunk, and its
prolonged length of days--for it lives 150
to 200 ycars-adds greatly to its advan-
tagcs over other animals.
When once tanned the elephant becomes
tractablc and submissive; he is affection
ate to his keeper, and does what he can
to please him. 1t is pretty certain, how
ever, that the keeper must use force with
isgigantic pet, otherwise respect is lost,
and there comes time when the wild
nature will overcome the teachings of
his master. In time he understands
signs, tones and even words, and acts
accordingly. One that is very tractable
for there are all grades of intelligence
among thcm-ncvcr mistakes the words
Of his master, receives his orders with
attention, and executes them with pru-
dcncc and manifestation of consid cradle
Judgment. The sagacity he shows in
cXtricating himself from positions of
danger, some of them such as are un-
known in his native country, and so can
not be the result of hereditary memory"
or instinct is we'll known. His memory
of insults and his long waiting to get
even with his enemies, are too well
known to call for moro than a passing
mention. One instance of his memory
Of the duties he had learned in captivity
when captured again after escaping fol-
four years into the junges, is remarkable.
1t would be incredible were it not estab
lishcd by numerous witnesses of the
highest character. st. Louis Globe Demo-
J rydt
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-09-29

The ostrich is an anomaly, fond
parent at one time, and again dcvouring
its offspring showing an idiotic gentle
ness now, and again kicking one of its
Little ones into kingdom come. 1t will
scan tho horizon with the wisdom of an
astronomer, and tumble hcadlong into q
muck hole at its feet. A single wire
will keep it in bounds at ordinary times,
and jack rabbit will drive it into q
spasm of tcrrsr There is nothing on
earth like it, do believe, unless it may
be woman trying to cross Kcarncy
street on Saturday afternoon. Their
way of showing anger or fear is peculiar.
They squat on Their launches and
stretch out their ungainly nccls almost
level with the ground, and sway them from
side to side, making Il strange drumming
sound somewhere in their true inward
ness. When grown they are the uglicst
things on record, aud look all leg. They
are connoisscurs in metal buttons, vina-
grcttcs, and even hairpns, and will not
hesitate to transfer one or more at q
gulp from your person TO their own cast
iron stomachs, with knowing wink OF
their red eyes; but it was game of give
and take for in retaliation the visitor
would make grab, and many valuable
plumcs were lost in this wNy.-Sda
Francisco Chronicle.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-09-29
Aya's Joke.

l think it was the best joke ] ever
knew of one little girl playing on an
other, though it wasn't an April fool.
1t couldn't be, you know, because it hap.
pcncd some time after the first of April.
1t was when Ava was ) years old, and
just beginning to 90 to school, blue.
eyed, sunny-haircd little maid, who
seemed to find her chief delight in doing
pleasant things for people,
Ono day mamma put m extra nice
dinner in the pretty tin luncheon box.
There was slice Of frosted cake and
two jelly tarts, and piece Of lemon pie,
and a sandwich with turkey, instead 0
ham, which Ava didn't like.
Right in front OF Ava at school sat lit
tic Why Gates, who never in the world
brought anything for her dinner but a
biscuit. | suppose maybe she didn't
have anything else TO bring. That was
what Ava thought, too deep down in
her pityinr little heart
Well this dnv Ava was syingincr he,
feet while she s,ulicd hcr lesson and
she hit her toes against something that
ratified She looked down. and there
was Why's dinncr-pail that had some
how got pushed b,cll--an old, little
bruiscd-up nail, with only biscuit in it.
Ava knew.
A BRIGHT thouyht poppcl into he,
head that minute, It was 50 funny sho
had to mt hcr hand ovcr her mouth to
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-09-29
Ponds In SaXOny.

In travelling through Saxony one is
struck with the large number of ponds
of all sizes which stud the fields in every
direction. Whether these ponds are the
result of accident or design, they are
as carefully tended as are the fields
themselves. They, too, are source of
income to their owners. They TEEN with
carp, tcnch and other fish that will thrive
in sluggish water, which are taken out
in the fall and sold at prices ranging
from 10 to 20 cents per pound. The
ponds are then rcstockca with young
brood which costs from so cents to ST. %
per hundred, according to SIC. These
fish are left to shift for themselves until
they arc year old, when they are gcncr-
ally large enough for the market. In
winter the ponds yield crop of ice,
which is readily disposed of at fair
price. Where their services are not re-
quircd to turn mill, they at least serve
as watering places for the cattle, and
where they are situated near a village or
hamlet, they even feed the hand engine
in case of fire. Where these ponds arc
made, the land taken for the purpose
generally is msuitcl for other purposes.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-09-29
"NinCty and Nine"

Sankcy, the revival singer, tells of
his favorite song and the way it origi-
uatcd:
"Thc Ninety and Nine" Iplocc at the
head of the list. well remember how
l came to compose the music to the
words. 1t was done on the spur of a
great and cxhaltcd feeling. When Twas
going from Edinburgh to Glasgow
picked up paper on the train and came
across the words. They at once struck
me as being full of feeling, so | hid the
paper away in my pocket. The words
rang in my ears. At Glasgow We had a
glorious meeting. Mr., Moody preached
from the twcnty-third psalm of David.
He touched the hearts Of the people.
When he was about to close his sermon
l did not know what to sing. WANTED
to select something appropriate to the
sermon, but found nothing suitable.
Those grand words, full ofpoctry, simple,
vet beautiful: "lIc makcth me to lie
down in green pastures; he lcodcth me
beside the still waters; he rcstorcth my
soul; he leadcth me in the paths OF
righteousness for his names sake" as
Mr.. Moody closed with them, acted as
an inspiration. | hastily pulled the
crumpcd newspaper from my pocket
and sang the words Of "Thc Ninety and
Nine to music that came to me then
and there. Ibid not know how the ac-
compartment would 90. The feeling oI
the moment carried me through, and
afterwards wrote the music.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1886-09-29

In 1871 fire broke on in house
situated in the outskirts of Paris. The
damage was repaired under the direction
of an architect, and since that time the
house has been inhabited by the owner.
Some days ago while at lunch, the
latter observed that the ceiling Of his
dining room showed signs Of giving
away. Next day the droop in the cell
ing was still more plainly disccrniblc, and
an architect was Immediately sent for,
who saw at a glance that the central
beam was gradually sinking. A couple
of masons were set to work, when the in
side of the beam was found to have been
entirely consumed, the beam itself being
held in position only va thin coating
Of moist wood. At the fire IN 1871 u
spark had set fire to the beam, and had
thus inch by inch, during the space OF
Is years, accompl' sh"d it, work OF 1e'
siruction. --Pdris Il Temps.