Evening star., 1886-09-04


Before him. however, had arrived q swifter
| messenger-by mail-the last dispatch written
| by Madame Kalitzin. It ran thus:
"Mourarief, you know is a trator-I also-I love
him. Tonight shall ex plate perfidy together
Perhaps you can say Of me that did love my country
could no longer serve her cause FILA TzO1.
Saturday Smiles.
Trousers will be worn little longer this
autumn now that 10000 cutters have gone out
on a strike.
1t is a curious fact that the sun never shines
SO hot on the base ball ground as 1t does on the
harvest field.
Read at the entrance Of q country church
yard:
as live in the parish
'The whaling season will soon open," re-
marked the snake editor.
| horse editor. 81 saw an item to-day that the
ships returning from the Arctic seas reported a
II was thinking Of the opening of school in q
few weeks."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
"Aurelia, darling" ayes, Arthur" "You
know we are soon to be married" Eyes"
70 Aasn ss en-
turn down the gasF"-Phiadelphia CaL
"These are hard times,n said the young debt
| collector. Every place went to to-day was
requested to call again, but one, and that was
leans TImes-ben,ocrat.
Nomenclature this country Is becoming
more and more exact not to say diffuse. We
have become pretty well accustomed to such
| names as "Nyack-On-t the. hudson" and "Man-
chester-by-the-Sea," but a correspondent of a
his letter from sunny Ciff.on-t n-the-Palisades"
Pretty soon we shall hear of "Newburg-On-t
River right hand side -going-dOwn." ."-Detr0H
Free Press.
Said a rogue of verdict condign:
you have put too much stress upon mgn;
nour ma inns aver
And add. to forgive is divign."
Said the Judge with his pompous eclat:
"We so not by maxim and sat
Since you snned You must suffer"
"Add two months" cried this Solon of Lat
dren, tell me what heathens are?" Small boy
(who has been reading about the Belfast riots)-
"HeathenS is folks what don't fight over re-
ligion.'-Omaha World.
ParadOxical as it may seem the less "soap"
there is used the cleaner a campaign is likely
to be-
your hotel?" Mrs. Startup-"the wot?" Mrs.
Champisnon1"The cuisine" Mrs. Startup-"I
coon HioW 10 ss, ant seen none YET but the
Did it ever occur to you what funny thing
postage-stamp is? Even the department can't
sell it alter they cancel it.
This Is the kind Of weather when the man
who puts on his hannels in the morning or
doesn't put them on wishes he hadn't before
night.
Where are all the bad actors: "Read the
answer In the stars."-NeO Orleans Pcdyune
Tailor-"You have recently inherited a nice
lump OF money from your uncle. Why don't
you pay me?' Customer-"I hate all outward
show. l don't want 1t to be said that my
newly-acquired wealth has caused departure
from my former simple habits"
A peer is but an accident of birth, but great
miillner Is a gilt from above.
He-I wonder when you will be able to set as
gOOQ u table as my mother does?
Shelby the time you able to provide as
good table AS your fatner does, my dear.
"Yes," said the artist, photography of late
years has made wonderful strides. 1t has got
SO now that photographs be taken at
night" You astonish me- said the artists
friend. "Irs a fact though" continued the
artist sadly, somebody got into my shop last
night aud took all the photographs had
HuperS Baz0r.
get some more buttons like these. Such time
as do have trying to keep this family III but
tons" Mrs: De Lank-"My family is larger
than yours but have no such trouble. l can't
use half the buttons my husband brings home"
"Brings home:'' "Yes, he's deacon, you know,
and has charge OF the contribution box
Omaha World.
''Charley will soon be home again. fresh from
bis studies, won't he?" said a Iond Cincinnati
that Chariey's studies can have the effect OF
making him any fresher than he was wnen he
left was the old gen tlemans unfeeling reply.
Cincinnati Sun.
you ior your little head one such large hat to
ge?' Herr Schmock-'Would 1 then little
one take when for the same money q large hat
can nhave?'-Fltegende Blatter.
They never save a man from drowning at
Newport without a letter Of Introduction, and
II they find on getting him out that he is not a
"cottager they put him back again.
THAT'S what call hush money" remarked
the daddy wnen he planted down the Cash for
bottle Of paregOric to take home IOr use in
the iniantiie portion OF the falnily.-10tedo
american.
Experienced Editor-"Anything fresh to-
day? New Man-''lt is ruInUred that Jinks is
going to resign" "Who is Jinks?" "An office
leader OF some kind. Shall l see If it is SOP
mo use wasting time. Deny It,"
Guibollard returns pensively from the ceme-
tery where he has been assisting at the
funeral OF one OF his friends. After some
moments oil profound meditation he remarks
sagely, After all, say what you WILL there is
stu nothing like death TO completely disgust
one with lite!'
when they passed a barnyard in which were
two calves. The young lady observed, go,
see those two little cowlets.' 'You are mis-
taken, remarked the young man, "they are
not cowlets, but bullets"
Judge-"Have you anything TO say before
the court passes sentence upon you?" Pris-
honor III consider the extreme youth of my
lawyer, an let me Oft easy."-Puck.
A young man who had travelled with a show
for six years, and played calliope, was
reclaimed at one of Rev. Sam Jones revival
meetings last month. The growing power of
Mr. Jones cannot be gainsaid.-Chicago
Tribune.
What a charming moon, Adelaide! The
ripping OF the waves, the splash OF the oars
but AlgernOn, you are getting rather in Shore
are you not? "4es, Adelaide. 1t Is pleasanter
to mug the shore" ''Is it, indeed? l didn't
know. You'll have the satisfaction of recalling
tnat you hugged something or other.'-PhiladeI
pita CuH.
At the seaside.-"Have you bathed yet this
summer "Yes, I've bathed several times out
at Coney Island" "How did you lind the
water?" Find the water? Why, you can't miss
| it. It's all around the isand."-Ieras .Siftihgs.
Citizen with Big Book-What will you take
tor your horse?
Citizen with HOrse-Tll take 81 ,OOO Just
refused an offer of $3.50. Want to buy?
"No; was merely asking to know what to
put him down at. I'm the assessor"
We'll, say-really don't want to sell him
family pet, don't you see; but ii / can get my
wiie's consent to part with him you may have
him for $45.
A farmer sent a dollar for q lightning potato
bug killer, which he saw advertised in q paper
and received by return mail two blocks OF
wood, with directions printed on as follows:
take this block, which is No 1, in the right
hand; place the bug on No. 2 and press them
together. Remove the bug and proceed as be-
re."-Huds0n Register.
Returned Chicagoan-Coast defenses? What
| do we want of more coast defenses? The Allan.
| tic seabOard is lined with coast defenses from
Bar HarbOr TO ST. Augustine.
Disciple of Tilden-Thats news to me.
| X. C.-Yes, sir; aud any belligerent foreigner
| who can get by the Atlantic coast resort hotel
keeper with his lie ought TO be welcomed with
brass band and be given al Office as soon as
he strikes