Evening capital., 1886-06-10

The lugubrions man. He is happy
only when he IS miserable. But then.
he Is almost always miserable. Come
what may, ho can find something
troublesome ina il When the rain lays
the annoying dust for other people Ii
makes miserable mud for him. and
when thc sunshine dries the vexiny mud
fer others It makes torncnting dust for
him. Ia his life every silver lining has
- cloud. II br any chance there comes
a time when therc Is nothing to mourn
for he sends out his imagination to find
something II tho weather is just as he
wishes it 10 be he sets himself to think
ing on what it will be next August and
works himself into what Is vuigarlv
called a sweat. In one way or another
he is in sweat most of the time. When
he has no troubles OF his own he shoul.
ders some of those which his neighbors
ought TO have He mourns to see Jones
eating hard-boiled eggs year after year
In utter Inconsistencies that he is ru-
ining his digestion 1t grieyes him to
know that Smith keeps right on riding
a bicycle after he has been warned time
and again of the dreadful consequences
of '.headern and il tears his very soul
TO sec Robinson persist in wearing
plug hat without an airhole in it, when
1t has been demonstrated so very clear
ly that this sort of thinghas been known
to produce badness. The lugubrious
man is not pleasing person to have
around, but after all he serves a pur-
pose. If he absorbs all the sadness Of
his neighborhood he leaves the rest of
the people comparatively free to enjoy
themselves as they 60.
The funny man. He isn't funny, but
that is not his fault. He tries hard
enough. He seems to think the aim of
oil proper life is to make people laugh
at him; and sometimes he accomplishes
this. Most of the people, however.
laugh at him when he is not around.
You will find him wherever there is 4
crowd. No matter what the object of
the assemblage may be, he is there with
his joke. He sits at the barber-shop
awaiting his turn and tells the barber
TO be careful not to dull his razor on his
friends check. This being joke he
laughs at it. How would anybody know
it was funny.if nobody laughed at itp
Presently his turn comes and he tells
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for letting him hone his razor on his
cheek. Nobody laughs, and he yen-
lures the explanatory remark that
razor may be honed on his adamantine
cheek. Still nobody laughs-that is,
nobody but himself, and that Is sub
stantially nobody. If you don't find
him in the barber-shop look out for him
in the railroad car. When the brake
man announces that s.this train will not
stop between Riverside and Downers >
Grove the funny man shouts: ..Wbo
said it wouldP" This makes him laugh
all over, but the brakeman and the other
passengers look tired, and travel-worn,
and sorry they didn't get off at the last
station. he funny man is also cpi-
denic at social gatherings. He likes
social gatherings. because there people
have to laugh at his remarks whether
they want to or not. It is one Of the
drawbacks of a social gathering that
everybody has to pretend to enjoy every
thing about it. even to the funny man.
IL the funny man and the lugubrious
man could be tied together by the heels
and flung over q clothes-line society
would try very hard to accept the situa.
ton philosophically and with due resig-
nation. Chicago NeUs.