Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-27
BRIGHT BITS.


A vicious HORSE is like nail-no woman
can drive it, YdnRters Statesman.
"To-DAy is a good deal closer than yester-,
day. said Smith TO Jones. YES" said
Jones, tits nearer. "-LoaoeU Courier.
SHOWERS Of, mud are reported from New
Zealand. and there is no political campaign
going on there, either.-P itSb@rg Chro'sicte.
IHk funniest sight. that IT. c." saw the
other day wa? a building being. moved which Oh
had over the door the sign "Stationary Store.'
= San FrGnctc3 Ne,os- letter '. t'-a 'o-4
TEMPrs FUGrr.- Judge-You are chatged
with being a tramp This is the third time
IN sf1x Months. II
Tramp-Great heayensA How time does
slip away ,71-7erqs Stting8. --r-
FoRTUsArUs-Better beware of Miss Per-
kins, Henry. II you 1irt with her you'll find
she knows thing or two.
Henry (eagerly)-She does? That's the
kind OF girl rve been looking for.-Tid-
Bits.
A COMPENSATION Commercial traveller
cwho has just made an unsuccessful offer OF
marriage to young lady)-Madam, since you
are determined not to favor me with your
hand, would you perhaps favor me with
small Order?- FIie0ends Batter.
II. e. GALE flung to the breeze fine trans
parency last Wednesday. 1t bears the Gale
coat Of arms, which c nsists of lady's boot,
with blueberry vines growing out OF the top,
and the motto, Boots and Shoes" inscribed
underneath.-W Winthrop Ae.) BUDGET.
MISS ELLEN TERRY and her daughter are
at New York hotel, and Miss Lydia Thomp-
son is detained in England to see her daugh-
ter married. There's one thing about these
actresses. Whatever their domestic vicissi-
tudes, they never will be Mrs; they always
will be Missed. -E1chGnge.
FoGG, in one of his impatient moments,
after reading half dozen conflicting war
memories, in VIII CHI Gen. A. pitches into Gen.
M IL n COL lie Enp oil nal
traitor, while Gen. d. retaliates by calling
Gen. e. a liar and a horse thief, says ne some-
times wishes there had never been war
Boston Transcript.
CUTTING is free
The country breathes again
From mountain top to sea
A hundred thousand men
who laved their swords in gall
To free lmpr sOned Cutting
May now observe the wall
Against which they've been butting
-PhjLddelphid Neaos.
A MEMBER of Congress tells a good story on
Representative Herman, of Oregon. Shortly
before the adjournment Of Congress. the III.
c, met Mr.. Herman, who complained Of ma
larial symptoms, which had troubled HIM for
several days. take quineen," advised the
NJ. c., giving the Eastern accent to the drug.
"Well, l will replied Herman, thought
fully. "I've been taxing qulnine" giving
lbe Western accent to the last SYLLABLE. "but
it does not seem to do me any good. y Wash
tngtOn Star.
I'VE were the guests of a well-known Lon
don club said MIR. Depew, ''shortly after we
reached LoadOn, and were treated to a very
nice dinner. When the speech making began,
Gen. Porter led of. and ] follow ed | began
with an apology, saying that Gen Porter had
stolen my best STORIES and that Mr.. Dougher-
ty,s stories were so BAT that l would leave all
of them for him to tell. Then looked around
and every Englishman in the room was sit
ting as solemn and unmoved as a marble
statue. 1t was a dreadfuly wet blanket to
| throw over an who was trying to be en-
| pertaining, but got through somehow. Gen,
| Porter had sand that he had arrived in Eng
| land by the Lane route, and that he had
| found 10 very pleasant to see the trees grow
ing along the lane, and IT, hear the birds sing
! ing in the branches. That. too, was received
| by the Englishmen in profound silence. When
| the affair was over we went after our hats
| and coats, and heard man behind CLOAK
| screen say: 'Dayvllish queer fellahs. those
Americans, don't you know? Stealing stories
! from each other! Did you ever hear of such
breach of conddenceP Yea said another
| but did you hear what that fellow said about
the Lane route? Why, that man is the most
surprising liar ever saw. Do you know, Pve
been TO america and back by the Lane ute
myself, and do assure you. gentlemen, that
you won't find so much as a shrub growing
anywhere between the two continents. Trees
indeed! Really, the Americans are a dread.
fully unprincipled set of people. "-Army and
Macy JOurBI.