davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

Senator Beck of Kentucky had
queer look to all his New York ac-
quaintances the other day. The 1ri-
bune says he strolled around the cor.
ridors of the Fifth Avenue with silk
hat ON his head about two sizes too
small for him. His big head looked
like Dutch comedians s with thimble
cap on top of It, There was so much
remark about the discrepancy of the
hat and the head that the Senator went
out in the pouring rain of Saturday
and spent an hour or so hunting up
Mr.. Blackburn to make an exchange.
"How did 1t come" he said to Black
burn, "that you didn't notice that you
had hat that was too big for your"
The Kentuckian responded with his
accustomed adjectives, "Why, hang it
all, Beck, last night was one of the
biggest nights / ever made in New
York, and your hat just fitted my head
this morning"
~
Among the gossip of the day, says
the Boston Heralds letter, is the ap-
parent devotion of Justice Gray of the
Supreme Court to young lady who is
the guest of Miss Cleveland Miss Van
Vechten of Albany. She is an attrac-
tive young woman, and the venerable
judicial parsonage from Massachusetts,
who has spent his life as a bachelor,
causes the other ladies to make re-
marks about him by the constancy with
which he pays his attentions to Miss
| Cleveland's pretty guest from Albany
on all occasions when they meet.
~.
From Walt Whitman's lecture on
Lincoln II shall not easily forget
the first time saw Abraham Lincoln,
the 18th or 10th of February, 1861. 1t
was pleasant afternoon The crowd
| packed Broadway from Canal street to
the Astor House. Presently three or
four shabby hack -barouches drove up
to the hall. A tall, awkward figure
alighted from one, looked up, took O
relieving stretch of arms and legs
turned and good-humorcdly scanned
the crowds. There were 5000 or 49,.
600 people within sight. With no one
there was he personally popular, with
few politically. There were no speeches
no welcome, no words Of any descrip
tion. 1t was a sulky, unbroken ST.
lence. Almost in the same neighbor
hood had heard the reception of La
fayette, Jackson, Clay, Hungarian
Kossuth and Filibusterer Walker with
the furious commotion Of the unloosed
throats of men. had perfect view
of Mr.. Lincoln from the top of an ON
nibus. He looked with curiosity upor
that immense sea of faces. The sea ol
faces returned the look with curiosity
1t was a bit of comedy, or almost Of
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
A Card From Jedge waxem.


EDITOR CRITIC: l read with great
pleasure your bright papir every evening.
read other papirs too and In one Of them,
the Dayton Journal, find this:
1T is rumored at Washington that Pan
Electric Garland has rendered his resignation,
and that the President is looking for a sue
cedaneum."
Now / do not believe Mister Garland has
resigned, becaus why should he. But II he
has dun so i see no reason why the Presi-
dent, who, except for his civil surface biz
ness and hiS being agin silver, is very
good man, should be lookin fur sue
cedaneum. lie has got no use for one as
fer as ! can see, but II he is reely looking
fer one would advice him to stop. Them
succedaneums are not success. l have
tried them In Wayback and they don't
work. What the President really wants is
one OF them things which he calls In his
message "innocuous desuetade."
WABASH Q. WAxEM.
House OF Reps.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
A Cranky Prima Donna.

Gerster is another artistic who is very diff
ficult to manage. II she takes notion
half an hour before the curtain rises that
she wants to see her baby she will travel 500
miles to do it, and no power can stop her.
She is the most selfish woman In some
things on the stage. remember one time
she was travelling from Louisville to Chi
cago. The sleeper she was In broke down
and they had to side-track 1t. Do you
know that woman refused to leave it. She
said she had paid for her stateroom In that
car and she would have no other. In vain
did the manager protest and entreat. She
refused to bulge. Finally they got the
station agent-a fne-looking fellow
brought him in aud introduced him as the
president Of the road. ne iiattered her,
told her how much she would oblge him
and his corporation II she would only con-
sent to occupy another car, and at last,
pleased at the Difference shown her, she
consented. But even then they had to lay
Brussels carpet between the cars for hei
highness to walk on Chicago Herald.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
RINGS.

My one eve lamb is silent; DER her beams
The hearth-liRht like halo; yet from me
She's gone adrift DER the enchanted sea,
A lily floating on the deep of dreams.
My helpless child sleeping flower she seems,
Lying among hor curls upon my knee;
Yet far away she's gone with vision free,
And loft mo musing In the ingle- CLEANS.
Nay, still she feels me; round my finger clings
Her little hand with soft and trusting hold,
Her fingers wee, clustered kiss Of rings,
More precious than thousand hoops OF gold;
The what life is, and why tho world should be.
-[Alya Milton Kerr In the Chicago Current.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

EDITOR CRITIC: Ihave friend who avers
that every walk in life is watched over by
some particular ''patron saint" II such bt
the case tell me what individual has gol
lawy ers In his care aud keeping. LAW.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
Certainly You May!

EDITOR CRITIC: May / avail myself of
your "Peoples Column" TO settle slight
dispute between me and friend as to what
player Of the American Baseball League
has the best record ? Answer and oblige,
HARRY ID.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
Gnthic Dyzantino CorncrIhihus,

EDITOR CRITIC: Can you tell me what
order Of architecture is typihed in the
building occupied by the Surgeon. General,
Pennsylvania avenue? WILL 8.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
Call at the Gas Office,

EDITOR CRITIo: II Baltimore gas compa-
MES can furnish gas at so cents per 900
feet, is it absolutely essential that our own
company should charge $l.75 in order to
make fair profit on their investments
COysuNrB
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
SPECIAL NOTICES.
lEg= EQUITABLE

COOPERATIVE BUILDING ASSOCIATION.
by order of the Board of Directors notice Is
hereby given that a special meeting of the AS
o'clock p. m, at National Rifles Armory, to
consider AN amendment to Sec. I, Art. XII,
OF the Constitution, providing for an increase
of stock above 10000 shares.
The nth monthly meeting of the Associa-
tion for making payments and advances
will be held WEDNESDAY, March, 3, 1896,
Immediately after the special meeting, ut the
National Rifles Armory.
THOMAS SOMERVILLE,
President.
JOHN JOY EDISON, Secretary,
Ofcc, or + st. I'd floor.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE
Unconstrained.

EDITOR CRIrIo / heard lady in descrb.
ing gentleman say he was quite degtge in
manner. What does the word mean2
FRANK b.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

THE Manchester Union aptly says of
the bill of Senator Wilson of Iowa to
increase the rate on fourth.class mail
matter that ii is lone Of those schemes
that would look to the West for the
rising run" Our New Hampshire con.
temporary might have added that the
bill will look in vain to any point of
the compass for even respect, much
less for support.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

PRESIDENT CLEVELAND has honored
himself and the Army as well by pro-
noting Brigadier-Genera Alfred II.
Terry, the hero of Fort Fisher, to the
major-generalship made vacant by the
death of Major General Hancock.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

creditors. The Secretary thinks that
by careful management so as to neither
contract the currency nor to force sill.
yer basis, of which he evidently thinks
there is danger the silver dollars now
in the Treasury might in time be ap-
piled to withdraw and cancel U. s.
notes.
The country, In the Secretary's
opinion, should return to bi.metallic
unit of value. That return should be
effected, he holds, through the none.
tary unit embodied in coins, both of
gold and silver the value in the silver
coin TO be kept in successive and stimuli
taneous equivalence, with open mints
for the free coinage of gold and silver
at a fixed value. From all of which 1t
is seen that the Secretary of the Treas
ury differs as much as ever on the sill
yer question with q majority of mem
bers of Congress.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

PRoFEssoR WIGGINs has emerged
again with another lot of weather talk.
He and the ground hog, 1t will be re-
membered, went into their holes about
the same time. Professor Virgins
now informs us that March is TO be q
windy month There is nothing start
ling in this, but we are glad the Pro-
fessor has grasped the fact that March
generally is windy month. But If he
cannot tell us exactly what kind of
weather we are going to have, the use
of his able hind. sight enables him to
account for the weather we have been
having with apparently entire satisfac.
tion to himself 1t was all because of
the planet Saturn's being in perlhclion.
This is very kind of Mr.. Virgins, and
gives him n scoop on General IIazen.
It would have been much kinder, how
ever, if the Professor had kept Saturn
out of perihelion. For planet so
badly behaved the Jail is the only
proper place.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
Robert Browning,
st. Yves HelOri,

EDITOR CRiTIc: Who is the author of tn,
"Pied Piper Of Hameling j. LEWIS
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

ew1MA ssA gle AND SwED $ IL
~ Movements properly taught and ad-
n. W. Send for book explaining massage
frauds.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
LIVERY STABLES.

TT YOU Want to buy, Sell, Exch ange,
TO WIN. Il. Downey's stables, 1920 to 1924 l. st;
repository, 1857 and 1920 l. st n W; none but
reliable stock handled; everything guaranteed
as represented. VIM II. Downey,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
PlNn-PlOn.

EDITOR CRITIC: see that Prince Napo-
leon is referred to as "Plon-Plon," which
suppose to be nickname. Can you give
me It's origin and meaning'
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

u. .. WILLIAMS.
[Plon-Plon is an euphonlc corruption of
Crdint PlOmJ- mJ-"Fear-Bullet," nickname
given to Prince Napoleon Joseph Charles
Bonaparte during the Crimean war.-ED. ]
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

AMONG the ladies in the Senate gal
lery the other day who were turned out
when the Presidents official message
was received and the Senate went into
executive session was no less q per-
sonage than Miss Cleveland, the Presi.
dents sister, 1t was all right enough
according to usage, but there are some
folks who will look upon it as an
ominous coincidence.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

1T SEEMS that General Black has been
guilty of the awful offense of keeping
Republican Members of Congress wait
ing in his ante-room while he conferred
with Democratic Members in regard to
changes in his Office. This is too bad.
II should not be permitted. Commis-
sioncr Black ought to keep Democrats
Members waiting while he conferred
with Republican Members about
changes in his office. For have not the
Republicans been in Office for twenty
odd years or SOP And from experience
are they not better qualified to say who
should be appointed to office? And is
il not very harsh, to say the least of it,
for Democrats to think that when the
people voted for change they
really meant what their ballots i'm
piled? BY pursuing the course for
which our friend Henderson of Iowa
criticises him Commissioner Black is
clearly not in keeping with the Admin
istration. He should be more careful
or he may get into trouble.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

That the wife OF U. s. Minister Phelps
has been received by Queen Victoria is con-
sidered OF such moment that the news
papers Of this country extend their con-
gratulations conjointly to Mrs. Phelps aud
the American Eagle on the auspicious
event. We stop the press to inquire about
how much per dozen American Eagles are
worth in the English market at present.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

aEs@A q RID.
TO all who are suffering from the errors and
indiscretions of youth, nervous weakness,
early decay, loss of manhood. &C. will send
o recipe that will cure you FREE OF CHARGE.
This great remedy was discovered by a mis-
sionary in South America. Send u self'ad-
dressed envelope to the Rev. Jos. Il. Inman,
Station d, New York CITY.
n<wo FARMERS and Mechanics' Fire
E-S5 Insurance Company, 1419 + st n W,
Washington, d. G. Capital stock, 100000
Small lines written.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

THE Presidents recommendation
that Congress vote an indemnity to the
Chinese subjects recently maltreated so
grossly in Wyoming Territory is just
and wise, so far as 1t goes. Something
should be done promptly to relieve the
country of the odium of that outrage.
An appropriation bill will not wipe ii
out, but it will show at least that the
American Government knows an out
rage when it sees 1t. What is needed
is legislation to prevent the recurrence
of such shameful brutulities and pro-
vide the proper penalties. The United
States cannot, with decent sclfre-
spect, shirk its real responsibilities.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
WANTED HElP...FEMAlE.

Advertisements Of Three Lines under this hedt
inserted three times. for 25 cents.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
PERSONAL.

NERS. Eff You Would Like to Hear
INl of something to your advantage, send
your address to Jake. Critic office.
VNHE DENTAL INFIRMARY, Ma
i tional University, 1901 Il st II W, open
daily from 2 to 5 D m; extracting free; lilling
at cost of material; teeth inserted with or
without plates; gas, ether and choroform ad.
ministered by competent and experienced
operators,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03
FOR RENT---HOUSES.

EOR RENT-Store. Southwest Corner
Apply at northwest corner 18th and Il sts n W.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

Congressman Matson Of Indiana knocked
down all the pins in the Republican alley
yesterday.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

THOMAS j. FISHER & CO.,
1924 street northwest.
EOR RENT-892 Fourth st N e, Five
II room house, brick; water; S11. No. 39l
11th st @, Groom frame, $12. Davidson &
Davidson, AZ and ID st n W.
EOR RENT-473 G st, Between
Il AZ and 9Th SITS W, six-room house. Ap
Dly at dG7 G. at \ w
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

farce, such as Shakespeare puts In the
midst of his blackest tragedies. Then,
with a last relieving stretch of legs and
arms, he turned, and, followed by the
unknown.looking persons with him,
disappeared In the hotel
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

Mr.. Wilson Of West Virginia yesterday
contributed the oratorical surprise of the
House for this season. Some folks have an
idea that West Virginia is only cartload
of dirt dumped in between the mountains
and the Ohio River, but they will learn diff
ferently by and by.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

When Representative Henley OF Calltor-
mia wants to say "Darn the thing" he
doesn't spell darn with anr.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

NySoNOTICE.
Notice is hereby given that the following
described check. to wit, mo. 1i2S: Phlladcl-
phia. Dec 81, 1SS5-second National Bank of
Philadelphia, at Frankford pay to the order
of Peter Campbell. nine hundred and forty.
three dollars and fifty cents, S9l3.h0-(Signedl
VIM II. Shallcross," Ii lost or destroyed, and
that payment of the same has been stopped at
the bank. All persons are forbid using or
negotiating the same.
VIM. II. SHALLCROS5,
i6l0 Frankford ave-, Philadelphia, Pa.
n>ys=eF. T. IANNARONE,
~ 1915 Il st n W, Washington, d. @.
Specialtes: Foreign Produce, Wines and
Liquors. Italian Produce speciality.
s~y5TsOFFICE OF COLUMBIA RAIL
s-SS WAY COMPANY.
The annual election for seven directors TO
serve the ensuing year for the Columbia Rail-
way Company will be held at the Kellogg
Building. 1915 st. II. w. TUESDAY, March
9proximo, between and 2 O'Clock p. m.
w. II. CLAGETr,
Secretary.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

II Congressman Steele doesn't stop
jumping up and putting in when speeches
are going on, he will some of these days be
called the cushion Of the House. WhyY
Because he gets set down on so often.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

L. j. Waring, a 81 400 clerk In the PEN
sion ofllce, has resigned. [oniclal an
nouncemont.l Stand back there stand
back Don't crowd You can't all get In
at once Stand back Hold up little
Stop that showing Stand back stand
back
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

~ q. YEAKLE, Practical Watch-
VI. maker and Jeweler, repairs fine Watches
and Jewelry in the best manner at 1910 7th st
n W; 80 years. experience.
VOU WILL Miss the Best Chance
l. you ever had for good and profitable
business II you fail to see q. w. Baer, 2lS 3D.
stnw. Call soon; 1t costs nothing to inves'
tipafe.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

nRAWING AND PAINTING - The
~ best and cheapest place to learn draw
of Fine Arts, corner 18th sten Y ave; all
commencing Immediately will be received at
half-price; childrcn's Saturday class $40 per
year; classes after O'Clock for those In the
DeDartmentS.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

yNANTED-Every Lady to Purchase
w our spring fashion book, the Bizir
Dressmaker; price zoe; by mail CSC. Open
hemar's b9S 9th st n w.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

THE WAY 1T HAPPENED-Gcnt to
i proprietor of FORSYTH CAFE--"f paid
dollar and quarter for my breakfast ut
the - hotel yesterday"
Prop'r OF the above Cafe-"Well, presume
you got an elegant meal 7"
Gent-"O! yes, very nice; but your 15cent
breakfast, are Just as nice and suit my taste
exactly, and, besides you see save one dol
lar and ten cents-that much clear gain"
The above conversation did actually occur
as stated. Bis 10th st,
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

No, sir; the real namo of the Ohio Con-
gresham from Cincinnati is not Ben Oleo-
murgarineworth. He is the genuine stuff,
and there are few butter men in the House
than be.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

WANTED-Eadies to Know that Our
w new spring fashion book 1.-THE Bazar
Dressmaker," Is now ready; price 20c; by mail
25c. Oppenheimer's, 52S 9th st n W.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

A MIDDLE-AGED GENTLEMAN of
N means desires to meet an attractive
young lady, not over 20, who desires liberal
companions; object good time. Address, in
confidence, Fidelity, Critic Office. No trihers
nped answer
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

See him walking down the aisle
With broad aud pleasant smaisle,
That is Speaker John Carlaisle.
See him IN the chair awhasle,
Nothing seems to stir bis baisle;
And Congress is enough to raisle
a man whose name Is John Carlaisle.
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

Only very green Congressman ever ex
poets 10 make speech which will be read
The Washington critic., 1886-03-03

." "ANTED--A ColOred Girl to Care
w for 5-year.old child. Address Mrs T..
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-09-08
UNHAPPY MEXICO.

Once again the hand Of the Mexican
revolutionist is raised against the peace
OF that unhappy nation, and before it
can be stayed hundreds of innocent lives
will be sacrificed, and men who have
ventured within Mexican territory to de-
velop her resources will be driven from
the country and lose their all in the clash
between the Government and the people,
and have no redress for their grievances.
The somewhat shaky policy of Secretary
Bayard in the Cutting affair was like to
have brought on war with that country,
and if it had done 50 it would have been
the greatest blessing that could befall
it. The people Of Mexico, outside
of the leading wealthy class, are
just as much slaves to that class
now as when they gave allegiance
to Spain, and in all the years since the
withdrawal of that allegiance, they have
not developed the ability for self-govern-
ment which is the leading essential
among all newborn nations Through
out the west and south of Mexico, the
common people are but little removed
from the condition of the Indian peon,
and know no master but he who gives
them bread, and at his bidding they are
ready to assemble and commit any act of
violence known to criminal history, and
especially against those who speak for
eign tongue. The constant repetition Of
these outbreaks has served to keep
men away from that country who other
wise would 90 there, and by bringing
wealth from her mines, produce the
means for educating and enlightening
the ignorant people, and thus pave the
way for Il stable government. 1t is not
likely, while Mexico is ruled ~ she now
is, that any great change can ever come,
but through 4 federation with the States
lying south OF her, she may obtain an
element OF strength which would enable
her to control her unruly people and
invite immigration by offering protection
to person and property, OF all who would
risk going there. Patriotism with them
is but another name for selfishness, and
until they can be brought to see that they
can never advance in the march OF
nations without outside help, the Mexi-
can people and government will ever be
pray to internal dissentions and COM
mercial decay.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-09-08
THE FATHERLAND.

While the people OF this happy and
prosperous nation are lamenting the
''hard times" which exist only in dis
eased imaginations, mostly the property
OF some local Micawber, the following
glance at everyday life in Berlin should
serve to make them content with their
lot, enter the battle OF life with renewed
courage, and carve out future for them
selves and their dependents, throwing
idle pinings to the dogs, and consoling
themselves with the thought that others
are more to be pitied than they. A COR
respondent OF the New York SIN writing
from Berlin, says:
'Out of a population of 100000 in Ber-
lin, more than 10000 are receiving public
charity. Many of the workingmen here
openly favor community of wives. Divorces
have increased to 10 per cent. of the mar
riages solemnized. The attendance at the
churches has decreased to . per cent. of the
adult population, and of $4,000 funerals
last year, nearly 10000 were performed with
out any religious ceremonies whatever"
Women flock by thousands to the city
TO obtain employment and, failing to get
what they want, large numbers fall and are
lost. This evil has become so great that
strenuous efforts are being made to avoid it,.
The law of consent has already been raised in
in a similar way as was done in New York and
England. by such legislative enactment some
sort of protection is extended to girls up to
the age of Is. Lodging houses and beneyo-
lent institutions have been established to aid
working women, and 4 society of ladies has
been formed charged with protecting, sus-
tanning and counseling women up to the age
of 3d.
What n picture is here presented, right
in the heart OF the country, whose people,
all over the world, cry Good bless the
Fatherand," " and who always revert to
it with feelings OF patriotism and pride
And yet many men who were born and
nurtured. amid such scenes, come to
this land OF liberty and happiness and
straightway seek to incite rebellion
against the laws and tear down the work
OF generations OF men who were the de-
scendants OF others equally punished in
their youth by foreign princes. The
nationality OF most OF the brutes now
under sentence OF death in Chicago
for the Haymarket massacre, places
them right among the unhappy
people above alluded to, and
yet they sought to make OF this
country similar prison-house to their
own. Think OF 10000 men, women and
children in one city receiving public
charity, and that, too, when the daily
cost of the maintenance of royalty is
more than enough to give them plenty
for a year, and then view the acts OF some
OF them who would breed riot and blood.
shed here, and the verdict Of the Chicago
jury will seem just indeed. 1t is no won
der that immigration continues at such q
heavy rate, when relief from such 9
living hell is promised by it, but il