The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-01-23
An Arkansas Wedding.
Arkansaw Traveller.

over at Hooks Springs the other night.
Ben Lother and Ida Grimes ran away
from the neighborhood where they had
been reared applied to young Wilkin-
son, who recently accepted call to
preach. The arrival of the runaway
couple soon became known, and quite
a number of young people gathered at
the school house where the ceremony
was to be performed. The preacher,
upon arriving, called Bill Fellers to one
side and said:
Bill, I couldn't refuse to accommo-
date that young couple, but, to tell the
truth, l don't know how to perform a
marriage ceremony. was never mar
ried, and l never saw anybody married,
and l don't understand the perform
ance.'
Inever saw anybody married, either
Bill replied, 'and 1 don't believe there's
anybody here that understands it,
1T won't do to disappoint them, for
I understand the girls father is in pur-
suit. Let's see, you were commissioned
as justice of the peace the other day,
weren't you?'
'Yes, but the papers didn't shed any
light on marriage ceremonies
Il don't know what to do about it,
the young preacher continued. They've
begun to grow restless, you see.'
well, parson, 1 don't understand it
any more than you, but I am willing, if
you'll help me kill hogs next week, to
take the job off your hands,
'All right.
Bill turned to the company and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, we've met
here to engage in very serious busi-
ness. This young couple (pointing)
think they ought to be married, and it
amt for me to say they ought not.
Young fellow have you got your license?'
'Yes, sir.
'All right. Hop out here, now
The young couple advanced.
Join hands, said Bill. Il would like
to say that the new ceremony just ap-
proved by the governor has gone into
effect. Those who have never seen
this ceremony performed will doubtless
be amused at its novelty, but I'll say
right here that all snickering will be
treated as contempt of court. Young
man, what is your business?'
| Il am farmer
'Ah, hah! How many rails can you
split in day?'
-Four hundred in good timber
will you swear it?'
sYes, sir
'Hold up your right hand
He held up his hand and was sworn.
Bill continued:
'Are you a good hand to cover corn?'
'Yes, sir
please say 'Yes, your HONOR
'Yes, your Honor
That's right. How much can you
cover in day?'
Three acres, if the lands in good
condition.
will you swear it?'
'Yes, sir
:Esae :EEssaeusye9 y91aTe HE. Ho9Ye5; YES, your Honor
Hold up your right hand.
And he was sworn again.
'What was the weight of the largest
bass you ever caught?'
Il don't remember exactly. About
five pounds, reckon
will you swear it?'
mo, your Honor
'All right. Are you willing to marry
this girl?'
yes, your Honor. If 1 wasn't l
wouldn't have brought her here
That's what thought Bill medita-
lively replied. you love her I reckon9'
Yes, your Honor
'How much?'
ooh! I don't know. Ever so much.
'What did she say when you asked
her?'
'She said 'Yes.'
'Glad to hear it,
.'Now, young lady, will you please
advance and kiss the judgea'
The girl hesitated moment, but she
stepped up and kissed Bill.
do you love this man7'
Eyes, sir
Eyes, your Honor
The girl corrected her mistake.
'How much do you love him?'
Lots
'Glad to hear it. Please step forward
and kiss the judge?'
Again she kissed him.
Remember that you are under oath.
Did you ever love any one else?
'Yes, your Honor
'Why didn't you marry him?
'He didn't ask me-
please advance and kiss the judge.
Look here, squire said the would
be bridegroom, Il believe we'd ruther
be married the old way.
The old way is repealed. Young
lady, how old are your
Look here, judge said the now i'm
patient lover, that's none of your busl-
ness
Eyes, it is. Young lady, you will
please advance and kiss the judge.
mo. I'll be blamed if she shallI ex-
claimed the young man; 'an' more tnan
that, this thing has gone far enough.
Now, I want to ask you few questions.
Don't move The young fellow whip
ped out a pistol, and Bills knees began
to thump each other. Now, just stand
there. Did you ever see bigger liar
than you area'
mo, SIR
mo, colonel.
mo, colonel Bill repeated.
Wouldn't you steal if you got
chance?'
'Yes, colonel
That's what I thought. Now, con-
found you, lead us to preachers house .,
pretty devilish quick. Come on, folks
the fun amt over yet.
s~Two acquaintances met each otnel
| in the street. One of them asked
sHear about Saxton?' mo, what's th'
matter with him2' Dead. 'SoF yes
r