Morning journal and courier., 1886-08-07
STRONG.

The Ruling Passion Strong in Death.-A
stranger lettering about a mill the other
day was caught by belt and drawn into the
machinery. He was taken out in dying
condition, but smiled family as he remarked
to his rescuers: 81 see you are determined
that shall no longer remain incog." He
was professional humorist.-Puck.
A well known Merchants Exchange man
perpetrated a neat ''bull' the other day
and he isn't an Irishman, either. He was to
have called somewhere in the afternoon, but
was prevented by rain. Being spoken to
later about the matter he excused himself
thus: 81 would have gone there during the
rain if it had not rained. Buffalo Courier
"Do you happen to know, my DEAR" said
Mrs. Col. Blank of Kentucky to her husband,
''why are something like piece of hannel?'
The colonel, who at the sideboard,
paused for moment and said that he did
not, and inquired why.
Because" answered the lady, ''you both
shrink from the use of water.-New Jersey
Times.
A party visiting Orrs island last week
came upon an elderly citizen, whom they in
terviewed, and found that he had always
lived upon the island, and was familiar with
its history. They asked if Mrs. Stoves
account of the inhabitants and their doings
was accurate. "Well," said he, 'she get
one thing right" "What was thatgn "The
name of the island. Portland Transcript.
No bald headed man is taken into the Uni
ted States army as recruit. This rule has
been adopted to conciliate the friendly IRdi-
an. Nothing exasperates an Indian SO much
as to kill a .. S. soldier and then be de-
prived of the satisfaction of scalping him.
Such an outrage on the friendly Indians is
calculated to goad them on to war. 1t is at
the request of the Indians that the Secretary
of War issued the order that none but scalp
able recruits should be received into the ar
my.-Texas Siftings.
An old darkey speaking to a younger
"ward of the nation about electric street
cars yesterday said: 'sHuh, boy, you see
how desc white folks dun took away dem
mules job from dem2 Well, dat's de way
dey is gwine to do de poor darky Fust
thing you know dey'll hab plow what'll
run rite along widout any Niger; and Of
dey don't do dat dey1l get some kinder seed
yhatll grow widout any cultivation Desc
white folks is powerful smart, dey is."-
Montgomery (Ala,) Dispatch.
A widow in town in the interior of this
State made her appearance at the office of
the gas company the other day and asked if
it were true that electric lights were to su-
persede gas in all the public lamps. When
answered in the affirmative she continued
81 own gas stock, and I want to know if
this move won't reduce dividends" 'Most
assuredly not, madam, replied the secre-
tary. 'But it will be 80 much less gas con-
sumed." Exactly, but what has the guam
tity of gas consumed to do with gas bill2''
She went away without answering the
query, but perfectly satis6ed.-Wall Street
News.
A young teacher in one of our primary de-
partments spent the greater part of an after
noon in describing the appearance and habits
of the mole to her class. And when she had
finished she said: Now, children, 1 want
you all to try and remember what 1 have
told you, for I shall call upon one of you to
repeat it tomorrow Accordingly on the
morrow she began by asking, 'What did
talk about yesterdaya" Up few a dozen
hands in the air, sighifying that the owners
were ready with the answer. "You may tell
me, Carrie, " said the young teacher, singing
out a five -year-old who had seemed uncom-
monty eager, and the -year-old, with a
beanaing smile, in loud and cheerful voice
proclaimed, "a wart!'-Harper's Bazaar.