Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-08
BRIGHT BITS.

A GLASGOW CHEMIST has found that at
about SO degrees centlgrade the flesh OF ami
m rs, such as Nation, becomes 20 exceedingly
nara tnat y rings ike pOrcrla am. Eighty-slA
degrees centigrade must be about the temper
Azure at which boarding house meat cooks
B'SstfagsoR Free Press.
a GOOD DAY FOR 'EM.-"What luck did
you nave fishing yesterday, PennybunkerT
asked an Austin gentleman OF well-known
impecunious character who owes every body:
splendid! While | was out on the wharf
| twenty men with bills called at my house TO
| collect money. Items Sifttags.
A RURAL exchange says OF George j. Min
gins. who lately appeared on the local plat
form HE began his lecture IN very quiet
and easy manner, which disappointed his
friends and heare S little, but after he
warmed up TO his subject and forgot himself,
h. was frequently applauded to the echo."-
EschGn0e.
DIR. PERKINS sooNovER had to ride away
out into the suburbs Oi Au-tin to see pa
tlent. Il am sorry, doctor, that you have
had such long trip just TO see me" sald the
30, I've got another patient out this way,
so you see kill two birds with one stone."-
Iezds S.ftin0s.
BARON II. is the most methodIcal Of men.
Yesterday he was questioning new servant
before finally engaging HIM:
Nv mere were you bOruW
AT oaiut-Cyprien du Var
I'm wha yearg"
"ln 1852"
"AJ what age?"-Le Figaro.
GIT must be a terrible thing'to be compelled
to 90 through the world on one leg" said
gentleman TO beggar as he handed him
dime.
ut IS, SIR" replied the unfortunate man
with a Ugh.
STILL he added more hopefully, ''a man
can make goOdliying At it, AeaO York Sun.
ACCORDING to a letter from London, at
recent social eve t there Canon arrar, who
was one Of the guests, was asked no = he mad
found America as a country 70 travel in.
Excellent" he replied: Il could scarcely
conceive how it could be improved in any
way. The better classes there are really 50
civil and attentive tbat one could almost do
without a et."-IO10R Topics.
'MP-"Are you Grand Army man?"
Genteman-''i es.'
Tramp-"Couidy YOU help poor fellow who
lost his leg during the warp
Gentleman giving him 10 cents)-"What
regiment did you belong tor"
Iramu-"N0t an, SIR. was run down by
a beer wagon day or two after the battle of
Fair Oaks. Those were gloomy days, sir."-
geeO York san.
Il DON'T sEE upon what grounds you can
secure pension You were not III the army
during the war"
II know. but I was In the Home Guards"
"Were you wounded or disabled?"
''NO; bat arst saw the woman VINO is now
my wife while we were on parade. Since
the government ought to give me pension"
PhtiddeLDhi0 Chronicle.
"WELL, George, bows business with YOU?
How are you getting OnP' asked an old friend
as they met, chatting by the ire.
ION, so, 20. All need is a little financial
encouragement, and l think L shall weather
it,"
Financial encouragement? How's that?
Can / help yOu?"
"Well, II you could lend me IS can lust
about pay my fare home '-HqrtJord Post.
A WEALTHY CITIZEN of a neighbour ng CITY
had been out until the small hours with con-
vivial companions 1t was nOtexactly .'drv
locality that ne had visited, aud he arrived
h me slightly exhiarated. He manaked, BY
describing several erratic rather than geome-
trical lines to ret to his bedroom and sank
into chair. Then he called to his wife in
stage whisper:
II csn'J get my boots off,"
whats the after with your boots?''
'NOzzln," in a faint whisper.
whats the matter with your hands, then?''
she cross-examined.
''Nozzin."
WAY don't you pull your boots OF. then?'
MARIA, I've forgot the combination" p
Boston Rec Fd.