Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-01-13
PIrH AND POINT.
A RAGGED edge-The tramp's -.
Sault on the lunch counter.

A RAaaEp edge-T The tramp's 20.
sault on the lunch counter.
FASHIONABLE waves often carry wo.
men on Q sea of trouble.-Mdrerick.
A LIGHT suit-that brought against
a country paper for libel. -Maperick.
SOME men will take more time to
name a dog than others would spend
in building . house. Chicago Ledger.
WHEN Fogg stood watching the
weighing OF his Sunday roast he re.
marked that he felt like Ajax defying
the Tightening.
SWEDEN is a COOL cattle country, be.
cause there the animal never strays,
the cattlemen always finding tkeir
Stockholm.-Folio.
"TELL me. Thomas, how many vov.
ages around the world did Capt. Cook
make?" Three" Correct. And on
which OF these voyages was he killed"
Puck.
POEM OF LIFE.
There was a young girl cooked and ironj
And sfe with hard luck WAS environ'd
But her soul was made glad
When she put In an nd.
And found out next day she was hirend
st. Louis Post Dispatch.
IT is rumored that one OF our maya
zines next year will publish an Ameri-
car novel, the scene Of which is not
laid in Boston,; but it is not safe to be-
lieve such wild rumors until they are
verified -Norristown Herald.
The stingiest man on record lives in
Hart County. 1t is sworn to and sub
scribed to by many witnesses that he
always gets behind Q tree to look at his
watch for fear some will ask him
the time of day.-HdrtreH (Ga.) Sun.
TaE Enquirer overheard o little s.
year-old girl say TO its mother: Mother,
| believe God thinks I'm dead" why"
asked the mother, somewhat astonished
ut the remark. "'Cause l haven't said
my prayers for q week."-Richmond
(Ind.) Enquirer.
A WARSAW surgeon recently COM
mitted the mistake of removing the
wrong eye from a patient, a young
girl. He probably tried to console his
patient by assuring her that he was
bound to get the right n next time.
-NorristoWn Herald.
An old gentleman who recently died
in Plymouth called his son to his bed.
side u few moments before be expired
and, bidding him good-by, requested
him to place a few hand-grenades in
his coffin, as lie might possibly find
some use for them hereafter .-Boston
Gazette.
LIES Ups AND DOWNS.
In life we meet with joy and woe.
Where'er ON earth We go.
A mixture of the good and bad
Fate wills II should be 40.
Just IN the flush Of our success
Reverses kill our Joy,
But few of rs have the ups and downs
OF the elevator boy.
Boston Coa,fer,
Now. YOU young scamp" said
Blinks, ST., as he led his youngest ont
into the woodshed and prepared to
give him a dressing-down, "lll teach
you what is what" mo, pa" replied
the incorrigible, you'll teach me which
is switch" And then the old mans
hand fell powerless to his side
EuangelisL
II ALWAYS supposed he was a good
friend Of mine.' Nobody says he
isn't" But you speak as though you
thought he wasn't" well perhaps
he is, and perhaps he isn't" "You
worry me greatly. How am I to find out
whether he is really my friend or not?"
well. / reckon you might make q
starter in that direction by trying to
borrow five dollars of him."-Chicago
Ledger.
ScESF. vestibule of q Temple of Al.
cohol, Hanover street. B%arkeeper-
'No-election-day. You can't buy any
liquor" Thirsty Citizen-"Then I'll
90 for biennial elections" B~arkeeper--
"And there's the special election COM
ing, and after that the city election.
Hang me if these elections will let us
make o cent" Thirsty Citizen (huskily)
biennial. Confound them, I'll go
to make them centennial!'-Boston
Journal.
lei LITERARY TASTE.
They sa. in the library above,
And they gazed at tho hundreds OF books,
And shs gave, in exchange for his signing.
The sweetest and shyest Of looks.
Here are volumes Of very great value,
And you, he remarked, well yersed
Now, supposing u FIRE should break out here
Which book would you try TO save frst2-
Il would sieze"-anl she grew quite excited
And then she grew terrible calm
i would size papa's pocket-book FIRST. sir;
That's the Mind of a book worm l ann
Columbus tO.l Dispatch.
He is o poor financier who borrows
trouble. A Sioux chief is learning to
ride a bicycle, and the final extermina-
ton of the aboriginal race is now only
a question of time. "All / want is JUS
tice." said the tramp. Three months"
said the Justice. Advice 10 butcher
Ii q man refuses to pay his bill for
mutton-suet. Eternal indigestion is
the price of pie. A petriied mule hoof
has been found in Pennsylvania. This
surprises rs. We had no idea o mule
could keep it's hoof still long enough
fo~ Aha4 Nam IorI. E,.nnLG