davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20
Fast Time.

Recently, in the retunda of Mem
phis hotel, a party of men were
speaking Of fast railway travel. One
man said: II was once conductor of
train on western railroad, and
particularly remember one bit of fast
travel. One day our engineer got
drunk, and the first thing knew the
telegraph poles looked like a picket
fence"
THAT was surely not strolling
along" said some one else. 1T re-
minds me of my experience. / once
ran an engine on Southern road.
One day, although am ashamed to
confess such recklessness, put on
every ounce of steam. You may not
believe it, but the engine only touched
the tops Of the grades for the next
twenty miles. Indmit that this sounds
like an exaggeration, but / can prove
it."
Colonel Bob Leech was one of the
party. Gentlemen" said he, II
don't know how fast an engine can
travel, but I'll give you an idea of
how fast one did go. During the war
| ran scouting engine for the Con-
federate Government 1t was my
duty to carry a telegraph operator,
who. at different points, would cut the
wires and send dispatches. l had one
bit of experience which makes my
hair stand up when I think of it. We
were running a rapid race one day
when, upon rounding a curve, saw
thousand gun-barrels blaze in the
sunlight. also saw that a number
of cross-ties had been piled on the
track. To stop in time was an i'm
possibility; to 60 on seemed certain
death, for even if We escaped being
killed by the wrecking Of the engine
We would be shot to death, for we
were regarded as spies. / decided in
a second what to do. Telling my
companion to lie down in the tender
! seized the throttle, and, in locomo-
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20
Another Cure for Insomnia.

just as the veteran corps OF seven
up players had got settled down for a
session and the captain commenced
dealing, a youngish man came in,
walked up to the bar, laid down a
brass check, and called for a glass of
beer.
"Where in the world did you get
thatf" exclaimed the shuper-server,
as he picked up the beer check and
scrutinized it closely.
"Here. Two or three months ago
l came in here one evening and got
roped into game of pedro. Every
time a game was out my pocketbook
disgorged to the bartender, and l
went home with blamed sight more
drink than dollars. To-day as l was
searching my pockets for street-car
ticket l found this check, and as l
wanted to realize a little something
out of that pedro speculation, l came
up this way to get a beer"
"You don't mean to say that you
have carried this check around
in your pocket ever since that even
ing you played pedro herei"
"Yes."
"Have you been able to sleep
nightsY
Certainly 1 have. Why not?'
"Then your name is not Sage
Green"
"Who was he, Captain?"
"Sit down and I'll tell you about
him. When was a boy 1 used to
live down in Onondaga county, in the
State of New York, and there l knew
Sage Green. He was a jolly dog who
used to get on a spree about once in
six months, and such spree! Just
as long as his money lasted, the spree
lasted. He'd drink, drink, drink,
until his last cent was gone, and then
he'd 60 home and sleep it of, and get
up and go to work, and he wouldn't
touch a drop until it came around
time for another spree.
Zone night, after Sage had wound
up spree for lack of funds and gone
home to bed, he couldn't sleep. Hour
after hour he tumbled and twisted
about in bed, but there was no sleep
for him. He'd never been troubled
that way before, and it bothered him.
He got up and walked about the
house, drank some cold water, bathed
his head, but it wouldn't do-he
couldn't sleep.
"Bimeby he came to the conclusion
that there was something wrong some
where, so he got up, lighted a candle
and commenced an investigation.
And what do you suppose he found
was the matter! Sage had big
jack-knife in his pocket, and wedged
in between the blade and the handle
he found a little, thin fve-cent piece.
Sage pulled it out, put on his pants
and hat, and went to the door. He
looked up the street, and down the
street, but not light could he see,
for it was long after midnight and all
the saloons were closed up.
% yep said Sage, pinching
the five-cent piece, "you amt a-going
to keep me awake any longer!" and
he threw it as far as he was able.
Then he went back to bed and was
sound asleep in five minutes. It's
your deal, Major Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

At the club. De Jones yawns and
stretches himself.
Van Brown-."Tired, dear boy ?"
De Jones-"Aw-beastly."
Van B.-"Up late, eh ?"
De NAV. Been thinking
Today.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Japanese etiquette requires that the
lady shall give the signal for the
termination Of visit from a gentle
man. In this country such thing
would be considered bad form there
fore the lady, when she would termi-
nate an interview, merely yawns and
looks the clock out of counte-
nance.--Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

"What did you get for Christmas ?"
asked bachelor of a newly made
benedict. II got holiday hint from
my wife," he replied, with a sigh that
made his pocketbook squeak. "What
was it I" "a cardboard bearing the
inscription, "The Lord loveth cheer
full giver. New York Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

"Oh, yes, Lizzie and 1 were made
one in New York." exclaimed a new
ly married couple man to a friend on
the cars. Travelling West ?" eyes,
going to Chicago" "Ah, going to be
made two again. My congratula-
tions. It'd Bits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Speaking of oleomargarine," re-
marked McSwilligen this morning, "it
has occurred to me that there is one
kind of butter which will always defy
counterfeiting." "Ah! What kind
of butter is that!" asked Squildig.
"The at."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

South Carolina's legislature finished
up its work and went home in thirty
days. Some malicious persons circu-
lated the report that the apple brandy
was getting ripe.-Burlington Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Impecunious guzzler largely in ar.
ears)-"Just set this drink down
with the rest" Bartender-"Can't !;
there's too much there already
"Well, maybe there is. Then set
it down somewhere by itself. 1t
won't mind being lonely."-Philadel-
phia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

No demand.--Young wife {:
"Charles, the papers say money was
again very fiat. What do they mean
by fat'" Charles "Why, no de-
mand, of course" Young wife {:
"Then wouldn't it be a good time for
you to get some ?"-London Moon
shine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

A poet died in England in the
seventeenth century who was known
as the water poet" Since then sew
eral poets have been weak enough to
merit that distinction.-New York
Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

1t costs $4,000 to convert a South
Sea cannibal to Christianity, and then
he is only worth SO a week in a dime
SNOWFALL River Advance.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Mahl stick.-No. An artists
chance for drawing a turkey in a
rattle is no better than anybody else's.
Commercial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Gall flesh is grass" but some peo-
pie display more greenness than
others.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

A sailor need never starve while at
sea. He can get bread at the Sand
wich Islands and milk of Cowes.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Yes, the Tar-tars were always IA
nous for pitched battles.-London
Funny Folks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

A Kansas editor has carried pho
netic spelling to fine point. His
paper alludes to "11werth. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20
WIT AND HUMOR.

1t is the man with a dark beard
who never says dye.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20
RAILROAD TICKET EQcc
For 1000 Miles sUh6
To
St. Andrews Bay, Fla.

fINHIS beautiful Bay and surroundings are as-
i knowledgcd by all who have visited there 10 be
the loveiest combination Of fertile soil, beautiful
foliage, fragrant orchards, blue water, growing
well as III winter, TO be fonnd In America. There
II but one Florida, and st. Andrews Bay 10 ivs
brightest jewel. Prices for business or Home
20 tijo, and sales were made TO more than s,ooS
different purchasers within the first sixty days.
st. Andrews will certainly become the second
Property Is doubling in value every thirty days.
Free Transportation for 900 miles TO Tract Fur-
chasers. Send &c. stamp for illustrated pamphlet,
containing iull details. Address principal business
Office as follows; ST. ANDREWS BAY n. 4. =
LAND CO, 227 Main Street, Cincinnati ohis.
GIN
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Some men are like eggs. You
can't tell whether they are good or
bad until they are broke.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

George (in the moonlight)-"I was
at the base ball game this afternoon,
Clara, and l bet" Clara (re-
proachfully)-"Oh, George, can you
speak of base ball on a night like
this ! Rather turn your thoughts
from earthly things to the perfect
beauty of the sky above. How won-
derful is" George-"I was only
going to say that bet oysters on the
game and won." Clara (returning to
earth)-"Oh, George, what night it
is for oysters !'-Omaba Bee.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

There was a shower of earth in
Missouri last week, a rain of terra,
no doubt.-Pittsburg Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-01-20

Three or four men, among them a
New Yorker, who were lately tramp
ing over the coal fields of Alabama,
entered rude log cabin in the woods
to avoid shower. They were stamp
ing and scraping and wondering if
anybody was at home, when man
made his appearance from back room
and said: "Say, give feller chance,
won't your I have been cleaned out
in stocks, oil and wheat. and as a last
resort I scraped a few hundred dollars
together and put it into dynamite to
wait for rise. It's packed in those
boxes and wish you would 60 little
careful. If the thing sxplodes on me,
/ might as well give up.-Wall Street
News.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18

The outlook at Allegheny Springs
is very encouraging to the proprie-
ters. The approval and apprecia-
ton of the guests who have visited
this magnificent resort is universal.
About 6fty guests are now regis
tered and all join in commentator
of the courtesy with which they are
entertained. The proprietors are
already contemplating extensive
enlargmeuts Of the buildings. This
work will be speedily pushed, so
that by the coming season they will
be prepared to offer inducements
that are found in no other resort in
the South. AT the present time the
grounds are being improved, which,
owing to their altitude, will be very
desirable. A visit to the Springs
will convince you that what has
been said is true.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
Friendsville.

N. Wilson made a short visit to
the Allegheny Springs last Satur-
day and Sunday.
o. j. Lee has also gone to Allie
ghany to spend a few weeks with
his mother.
Prof. j. w. Marshal and wife and
Mr.. and Mrs. ID. Baldwin started
for Montvale Springs this morning,
and will remain three or four
weeks, for recreation.
Mr.. Scott, who lives south of
town, lost a child the first part of
the week, from flux.
Arrangements have partially
been made for an entertainment, to
be given here in a couple of weeks,
by some Cloyd's Creek parties. All
invited.
Road work has just begun here.
Corn looks well for the chance it
has had.
School begins four weeks from
next Monday.
T. r. Lee got finger badly cut
in a feed.cutter the other day.
Friends Quarterly Meeting will
be held at Hickory Valley this
month.
Hog cholera has done fearful eX-
ecution in this vicinity during the
past six weeks.
Ephraim Lee lost a mare the
other day from lockjaw.
JONES,
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
NOTICE..

PURSUANT TO A DECREE OF THE
I County Court for Blount County, Tenn.
rendered at the August Term, 1886, will sell to
the highest bidder at the Court House door in
Maryvllle, Tenn. on the
4th day Of September, 1856,
the following described tracts of land viz:
One tract of " acres, adjoining the lands of
j. A. McTeer, the dover Of Mrs. Nancy McTeer,
Cal Davis, and perhaps others.
One other tract containing 81 acres, more or
less, adjoining the lands of j. A. McTeer, -
Gillespie lands and - Graves and perhaps
Others.
Also all the interest that Andrew b. McTeer,
deceased, had in and to a mountain tract of
land, in common with j. A. McTeer, the title to
which is in dispute.
Also the reversionary interest in the home
stead and dover of Nancy McTeer, being two
tracts-one of ~ acres, adjoining the kounts'
lands and ]. A. McTeer; the other OF l2s acres,
adjoining the lands of j. A. McTeer. b. j. Nc
Cuiloch, Samuel Cameron, Robert Murrin's
heirs, and perhaps others.
All of which land is situated in the 18th civil
district of Rlount County, Tenn.
Said sale will be made on credit Of months,
in bar of the equity of redemption, to pay debts
In the case of Will A, McTeer, Admir-, We. Nancy
McTeer ct ais the purchaser to give note with
good security. bearing interest from date of
sale. and lien retained on said land for the
payment Of the purchase money.
This Srd day of August, lss6
BEN CUNNINGHAM. Clerk.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
Maryville College
AND
PREPARATORY SCHOOL

Next term opens Sept. 1st. Good
board $500 per week. Board, incl
dentals, lights, fuel and washing
from $50 to $l20 for the school
year.
Tuition is now FREE. The only
charges are for rooms and incident
ais. Students rooming in College
buildings will pay 500 per session,
or $l4OO for the year. All others
will pay $4.OO.
To meet the wants of our Com
mon Schools, a Normal Depart
ment has been organized. This Is
under the more immediate super.
vision of very competent and sue.
cessful teacher. The object of this
department will be to educate
teachers for public schools.
Both sexes are admitted. For
thorOughness and comprehensive
ness this College will not be behind
any other in the Southwest, and as
to CHEAPNEss,it expects to outrival
others.
II kitchens for students who wish
10 board the mselves. No charge
for rent.
A gentlemen of culture, q native
of Paris, will assist us, and teach
modern languages.
For catalogues or information,
apply to
Rev. P. NJ. BARTLETT, DID,,
President
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
FRAUDs!
Vultures Of the Deepest Dye.

The attention of the newspaper
world and the public isrespectfully
and urgently called to beware of
J. M. HUNNICUTT & CO., of At
lanta, Ga, manufacturers and pro-
prietors of Hunnicutt's Rheumatic
Cure. They have refused to pay
their advertising account with the
Maryville (Tenn.) TIMES. They
have squarely dishonored a draft
through the Bank of Maryville and
remain absolutely mute, refusing to
reply to our communications.
We feel sure that the public and
press will help to make known and
expose these men who seek to grow
fat at the expense of publishers.
Such conduct is characteristic only
of criminals; so do not send your
money to become the dupes of these
men. We also understand that one
of these men has placed his prop
.erty in his wife's name to escape
the payment of his just debts.
Any further information concern
ing these grand frauds can and
will be cheerfully given by
A. J. NEFF & SONS,
Eds. and Props Maryville TIMES.
Papers please copy.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18

The fourth Quarterly Meeting for
Maryville Charge will be held at
Carpenters Campground next Sat-
'urday and Sunday, the 2lst and ODD.
All members Of the Conference are
earnestly requested to be present
on Saturday, as there will be bust
ness of great Importance before the
Conference. Campmeeting will
commence September the 10th.
The appointments for Maryville
and Pleasant Hill for next Sunday
are withdrawn.
J. A. RUBIE, Pastor.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18

Mr.. L H. Baker has employed a
professional baker, Mr.. Greenbred,
of Ohio, to supply the town and
county with fresh bread and cakes,
and desires your liberal patronage.
Also, Mrs. Baker has knit-goods,
,capes, ETC., made to order. Corsets
and ladies' wear to order by meas
ure from New York. Please call
and try us; next door to bank.
I. H. BAKER & Co.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
NOTICE.

PURSUANT TO A DECREE OF THE CHAN.
I Gerry Court for Blount County. Tenn, rendered
at the June Term, 1850, will sell to the highest
bidder. One-seventh interest, at the CouIt
House door in Maryyille, Tenn, on the 9th day
of September, 1885, in a tract Of land situated
in District No. 10, Blount County. Tenn con-
tanning 46lA acres. more or less, and adjoining
the lands of James A. Prater the heirs Of John
Lackey, deceased, Holston River and perhaps
others, and known as the Absalom Matlock
lands. Said sale is for partition and will be
made on a credit of and II months to satisfy Q
Judgment in favor of John Lee Griffitts and
against Snow and Anne Foster, in the case of
John l.. Grifiitts vs.. Snow and Anne Foster, the
pure haser to give note with good security, bear
ing interest from date of sale and lein retained
on said land for the payment of the purchase
money.
This End day of August, 1885.
S2-4 JAS. A. GREER, c. & NJ.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
SuWannee City.

1 lam authorized by the Proprie-
tor, Otis A. Miller, to contract lots
in the above city. Title perfect;
warranty deeds given. Call on me
and get a circular and see the plat.
Lots are cheap, only three to five
dollars. a. j. NEFE.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
An Absorbent of kheumatism.
Il hicago Times. I

The postmaster of Sandy Hal, N. Y,
has been cured of rheumatism in won.
derfHl manner. lie had been great
sufferer from tie disease, and some one
tod HIM that if he would carry sound
raw patatoes in his pocket he would be
cured. He selected two Hebron beau.
ties, put one in each pantaloon pocket,
and awaited the cure. His pains have
departed, and he sums it up thus: "One
thing is sure, | carried the potatoes,
and the rheumatism has disappeared.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18

"What's the matter Si?" you are not
looking well. 90 nothing only a slight
cold" In two days after the above con.
versation Isl" wasvery sick with pneu-
monia. Had he at first taken q dose of
SMITHS BILE BEANS Il bean) hc
would have been surely cured without
harm: A cold is congestion; BILE
BEANS will relieve a cold quicker
than any other remedy, as it relieves the
cOngested part at once. For sale by all
medicine dealers. Price, &c. per bottle.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
Train ng school for Colored Children.

The colored people of Philadelphia
have undertaken to raise funds for the
establishment of an industrial training
school. They claim that. while there is
no lack of opportunity for the colored
youth to study Latin, Greek, astron-
omy, theology, etc, no provision is
pade whereby he can learn to make
boot or perfect himself in any indus
rial avocation. 1t is high time that
something should be done to give col
ored youth these advantages, and it is
especially gratifying to observe that the
,olored people are taking the matter
into their own hands.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
PROHIBITION.
Responsibility of Parents.
ARTICLE v.

OF all the influences in framing
the habits and moulding the char
acter of individuals none are so
potent as that of example. The
little child will repeat the fathers
words and initiate his actions; for
every child believes in the absolute
perfection and the unlimited ability
of it's parents.
All the good advice given and
precepts laid down by the father,
will 60 for naught if he, himself,
does not live up to them. He may
warn his son of the danger of in
temperance, but if the son sees the
father frequenting the saloon, or
smells the odor of whisky upon his
breath, his warnings will be imme-
diately neutralized.
Ifchildren hear their fathers OPP
posing prohibitory measures, con-
tending that whisky is a good thing
and its sale should not be prohibit
ed by law, those parents, when it is
too late, will find that their views
have been adopted by their chill
dren; and that the demon, strong
drink, is dragging some of their
dear ones to disgrace and q drunk
ards grave.
But says one: ~ want you to UNI
derstand that I am emphatically
opposed to intemperance; yet L am
not for Prohibition. High license
is the way to put down the rum
power, and when you 60 to work
on that line expect me to give all
the aid in my power"
Now really, my friend, you re-
mind me of Mr.. Dobson, whose
poultry yard was being invaded by
a very business-like weasel,
judging from the mischief done.
After some time Dobson ascertained
that the weasel had taken up his
abode under the corncrib, and final
ly he succeeded in capturing it.
"Now," said Mr.. Dobson "what
shall 7 do with it ?"
"Kill it by all MEANS" said his
wife.
"But I've heard that weasels will
kill rats, and they are damaging
my corn some. So, I've concluded
to cut off its tail and let it go; prob
ably it will not modest my poultry
again."
The next morning Dobson found
several of his choicest fowls had
been killed, and saw the weasel
leave the yard and dart under the
crib.
"Ahw exclaimed he, ~ have been
cutting off of the wrong end. l
have only given him facility for
getting into his hiding place quick
err"
So it is, my friend, with high H.
cense. High license only cuts off
the tail, while Prohibition will de-
capitate the rum power. High Ii
cense makes the rum traffic legal
institution and places the saloon
keeper on the same plane as the
dealer in food and clothing and 9TH
er necessities of life. The money
which pays the license comes from
the laboring man who drinks the
rum; not from the one who sells it.
Now, fathers who have sons that
will be influenced by your example,
do not still insist in cutting off the
tail of this destroyer of homes, hap
piness and life; but through Prohi-
bition strike blow at the head of
the evil-a blow that will make the
man who manufactures or sells
whisky an outlaw and criminal.
ARBEJA.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
How POt-Holes" Are Formed.
Chicago Herald

spot holes" have recently been dis.
covered on Great Island, Me-, and some
persons have considered them of mys.
FERROUS origin A correspondent who
has often seen similar excavations along
the Columbia river, in Oregon, says
they are due to the swift current in the
overflow of the rivers, which forms ed
dies and small whirlpools, causing mo-
ton in loose bowlder, which acts as a
drill, and in course of time bOres q
smooth, round pot" in the rock in
which it lies, the loose stones becoming
round in the process. ANY number of
the round stones may be found in the
holes and lying among loose stones on
tie beach.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-08-18
Portable Electric Lights.

''' ortable electric lamps arc coming
into use" says an electrical writer.
"A Skri, amor primary battery is placed
in the lamp standard, and the glow APP
pears on burner similar to that of oil
lamps, The battery consists of packet
of chloride of silver, two thin zinc
plates and weak solution of caustic
potash. This produces light of twelve
candle power, and will burn for twenty.
four hours, at the end of which time
there is no waste of the elements, but
the chloride of silver becomes converted
into silver and needs revivifying."