The Washington critic., 1886-07-10
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

present.
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.
Miguel Chscon, who murdered Mrs.
Maria Williams, was hung In New York
yesterday. ChacoH a son gom.
The Chicago DaHy SIN has suspended.
The Western SimOOn viii AXE its place I'M
I'll after frost.
The Ohio editors OF Republican proclivi-
ties are holding Indignation meetings and
propose to clean cut the United States Sen
ate aud mop the floor up with Mr.. Logan
and Mr.. Evarts because they did not read
Senator Payne out of that body. Now is
the time to subscribe. Terms So per year
in advance liberal reduction to clubs.
Groceries, coal, clothing or vegetables taken
on subscription or for advertisements. Of
flee hours from u. M. until l0:3Jp IN.
Night bell at the door.
Nowadays n man who goes 10 Washing
ton and gets back is called statesman.-
Macon Telegraph.
1t appears to be powerful hard work for
Congressman to get back.
"Well, Colonel,n said friend to Secre-
tary Endcott of the War Department, 81
notice by the Philadelphia Press that you
are in favor Of improving our coast de-
fenses."
"Ah," replied the Colonel, with pleased
and satisfied smile; "they've had my name
in the newspapers, have they? Yes, am
In favor of such measure"
"Tha's what the paper said. But 1t went
further and stated that you wanted to
grease the sea with bacon rind so that the
enemies ships would slide in against the
coast and be dashed to pieces"
"It's a wicked newspaper lie," shouted
the Colonel, kicking over a spittoon and a
waste basket as he half rose from his chair
and brought his feet down on table. 81
never said anything of the kind. l consider
bacon-rind vulgar, common article. What
| did say was that olive oil might be SO
used, and have in my library scientific
work showing the feasibility OF the applica-
ton of oil in such cases. / shall write
card at once and deny the foul aspersion"
A man may not dare to say "boo to
goose" but he can say Doodle to an alder
man.
Oliver Payne is a son of Senator Payne.
John A. Logan is all over pain. Therefore,
lac Is son Of Senator Payne. This is the
logic Of events.
The warm weather does not disturb the
Chinamap; he takes 1t coolie,
"Yes, yes" remarked an old-time Demo.
crat, reilectively, "what our party needs is
the :. p. G. A.-Society of Prevention of
Civil-service-reform by the Administration, !"
The Senate wiggled yesterday on the
| Goode nomination, but Mr., Malone held it
up by the tail too high for it to do much,
except to scratch the gravel only slightly.
We are in favor of giving Congressman
Allen of Mississippi a pension for his
moderation in not destroying the Union
| armies during the late war. He says he
surrendered after four years. fighting be-
cause he either had to do that or exterminate
the Republic with his trusty shotgun.
The little sketch going the rounds, to the
effect that Senator Kenna, with two pairs
of queens in his hand, gave the pot to SEN
ator Dolph, who held three aces, on the
principle that three Of kind beat two
pairs, has provoked the soul of the Senator
from West Virginia to Its profoundest
depths. Yesterday, during the executive
session, brother Senator approached him
cautiously and by easy stages on the sub
ject.
GLOW is this, Kennas" he said.
"lIow is WHAT" inquired Mr.. Kenna, in
reply.
''Why, this little story about Dolph':
three aces beating your two pairs oi
queens?"
''Not word of truth, sir, in it," said the
Senator, with a snap in his eyes. 81 nevel
played poker with Senator Dolph in my
life. | never played poker with anybody
don't know one card from another.
don't know how to play cards of any kind
But, sir,n and his face grew determined
and sinister, 'if Senator Dolph or any othe
man with three one-spots in hishand think
he can beat me when I've got four queens
III be doggoned II | wouldn't like to Sc
him try It once,n
The weather cannot get too hot for tn
Nationals to win game, and the mereur
might as well drop on itself.