Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-03-06
Saturday Smiles.

How would it do for some of the men in the
theater 10 put on their tall hats, just to see how
the women would like it?-Philddelphid Gull.
It is said one firm in Germany has made
and sold during the last five years 5000, 900
thermometers This enormous quantity made
may be reason why thermometers have been so
low in Florida during the past winter.-Ne,0
Orleans Ptcdyune.
"A worn glove is the image of its paw.-Mer-
chant Traveller.
Senator Jones has urgent business in Detroit.
TO wit, to wOO.-Lo,CeU Courier.
SO Edison has gone and got married. Well,
he ought TO be able to invent good reason for
being out late nights.-Loa0eU Citizen.
A New York woman who has just become in
aginati0n were q reality, it is likely that her
husband would become insane.if he had to
Herald. '''''''
"You are not going to see that play, hope?
" IS the Ver1est trash ever put upon any stage
us that SO? did think OF going, but after what
you nave said. don't now as it will pay"
Well, come tothink oft, Ravn't anything else
what it's like."-Boston Transcript.
He's He's your pa in, Sadie? Yes, but you
b up stars 10 wind MS
Boston Courier.
Hes not what you call strictly handsome, :"
said the major beaming through his glasses on
er's arms but it's the kind of face that grows
on you" "Its not the kind of face that ever
pected reply from the maternal being: "youd
be better looking If it had."-Ne,0 Dominion,
Freeport, ". Y.
An 1ncredulous Professor.-Tom Anjerry, a
student at the University of Texas, applied to
Prof Shore for permission to be absent. 81
would like to be excused from my Biography les
out riding said Tom. The old proesaSr s, W66
is no fool, looked at the young man over the ton
of his spectaces and said slowly: want to
Is she related to you?'-Teras Slttings.
Mr.. Bowies: 81 guess that's a cheap cigar
Mr.. Jowles: Eyes, swore off using tobacco
the first of the year."-Boston Courier.
In trial in which Chief Justice Peters of
the Maine s. j. court was engaged as an attor-
ney, horse doctor went to the witness stand
He spoke in such a low tone that much com.
plant was made by the court and lawyers of
their inability to hear him. II trust your
honor will excuse the witness" said Peters
blandly: II suppose he has acquired the habit
OF speaking SO softly by spending SO much of
his time in a sick room."-Lewistown (Afe)
Journal.
Senator Beck, of Kentucky, had a queer look
to all his acquaintances the other day. He
strolled around the corridors of the Fifth Ave
nue. motel with silk hat on his head about two
sizes too small for him. His big head looked
like Dutch comedians with q thin BILE cap
on top of 1t. There was SO much remark about
the Senator went out in the pouring rain of
Sat1rday and spent an hour or so hunting up
Mr. Blackburn TO make an exchange. "HOW
did it come" he said TO Blackburn, shat you
didn't notice that you had hat that was too
big for your" The Kentuckian responded with
his accustomed adjectives, "Why. hang it all,
Beck, last night was one OF the biggest nights
l ever made in New York, and your hat lust
fitted my head this morning."-N. Y. Tribune
REV SAM JONES BLAMED For TIA special
from Mllledgeville, Ga, states that to an incen-
diary speech OF Rev. Sam Jones delivered there
during the prohibition campaign is charged
the killing OF Marshal HaygOOd by Sam Ennis.
Rev. Sam Jones was shown the dispatch, and
said he never made an incendiary speech in his
life, but acknowledged having advised prohibi-
uonists to stand firm, and ii the liquor men
wanted the gun and pistol game to give it to
them; ITO tell them they must strike the first