Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-12-16
PlTH AND POINT.

Silence may be golden, but it doesn't
necessarily MAKE millionaire out of
mute. Philadelphia Call.
"A young lady teacher in the Seward
public schools fell heir tn 800, 900. Her
name was Began at last accounts. -
Omaha Republican.
-..What time did John 90 away last
night, Mary Amp" ''It was a quarter
of twelve. father Three she said
to herself. '.are quarter of twelve
"A New Yorker shot at his wife. but
the bullet Int nothing but her store hair.
1t is very hard to get at the exact bound
aries of a woman nowadays Omaha
World.
I'm 'fraid of the dark!'' said baby,
smuggling up to mamma one night
''Why?" asked mamma '''Cause it
comes so close to me. - Youths CONF
p0nion.
1t is said that William D. Howells
collects material for h s novels by sh OPP
ping with his W fe. Few authors secure
sufficient money return from their nov
els to adopt such an expens We mode of
collecting material. -AorristoaoM Her.
aid.
Customer 10 coal dealer-Have YOU
got any name for those scales of yours?
Il never heard of scales having a
name" ''Well, you ought to call your
scales ambush. You see they are al
ways lying in weight. ''-1eras syttngs.
A correspondent wishes to know
chow to get rid Of a FOOL Procure a
loaded gun, put your mouth over the
muzzle and touch the trigger with your
toe. The bullet should be swallowed
whole. - bMriington Free Press.
-Jcnes-I would not be surprised at
any thing. Smithers Not if an angel
were to appear? .Iones-Well, that
might q ton ;sh me q little. ga female
angel, for instance?" "Female angel?
There amt any other kind; not much. -"
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
An instrument has been invented
called a plethysmograph, which meas.
ures the expenditure of mental force in
thinking. A man in financial difficult
ties. who has note to meet, will, it is
estimated, wear out two plethysmo-
graphs day.-Boston Courier.
Two young women were gazing in
a shop window Said one, ''Isn't it a
love of a bonnet! I'm tempted to buy
it, even if it is expensive" Said the
other, ''No, don't you do it, you are
too excited now. You would be sure to
regret it tomorrow morning. IN. Y.
SAN
-Calino receives letter from NADIA
gascar. 1t is dated from Maujakauda-
riananbana. "Why do they use such
long names9" asks one of his friends.
Because" replied Calino, sit is a
country where there is nothing in par
t;cular to do, and they say two or three
words to kill the time. ~. Y
Graphic.
-Doctor-What ais you, sir? Pa
tent don't know, doctor. l have
such buzzing sound in my ears all the
time. Would you like to look at my
tongue? Doctor-No, never mind
Bring your wife around some day. I'd
like to look at hers. -YOnkers States
man.
-Magistrate-The young woman
says that your continued staring at her
never Intentionally annoyed Il woman
in my life, your Honor. Magistrate
Then why did you stare at her so per-
sistently? Prisoner-Because she is
pretty, and couldn't help it. Young
woman-Let him 60, judge!-Lye.
Mrs. Anglomaniac I can not tell
YOU what treat it is to hear you talk.
You have been in England so long that
every word you utter reminds me
of the delightful lords and dukes l
used 10 meet. Returned tourist-Par
don me, but England is the only coun-
try that / did not visit Mrs. Anglo
maniac-Indeed! How very strange! l
was sure you had unconsc;ously ac-
quired the English vocal tones. Re-
turned tourist-No; it is only a cold in
my head.-Glen Rose Falcon.