The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-04-28
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
Photographers take the world just a.
it comes.-SJtings.
The ice cream sign is the harbinger Of
spring.-Philadelphia Gull.
A bad cold makes some men very
proud. Itswells their hcads.-Philadel-
phia Herald.
The gold beater is one of the few men
who works the hardest when he strikes
the most.-Philadelphia Herald.
A suffering man ought to be always
cool-headed and wise. He is compelled
to think twice before he can speak once.
Chicago Ledger.
A new novel is called "a Bachelors
Paradise" A bachelors paradisea Well,
that must be place where buttons grow
on shirts.-New York Journal.
Matthew Arnold is coming back to
this country. He thinks he. remembers
one place where he let dollar or two
get away from him the last time CHI
cago Neos. 81
A new bonnet is called s'The Cottage" "
We have sat behind one, and we can af-
firm that the name is misnomer. It
should be called -Four Stories and At.
tic. ."-Statesman.
Before cutting a mans head off in
China, the authorities considerably make
him drunk. In this country they consid-
erately make him drunk before puttinga
head on him.-Sittings.
It has come to be that when a New
York functionary is late at dinner his
wife says to one Of the children: run
downtown and find out the number Of
your. fathers cell. ."--Boston Transcript.
The question of female suffrage in the
Territories has been greatly strengthened
by the statement of delegate from Wy
oming that his mother-in-law had voted
for him repeatedly.-Neso York CONNER
cial. ... N n
"When should young woman tnarry9"
asks a writer. After careful considers
ton of this subject we have come to the
conclusion that they should marry when
they get a chanee.-Burlington Free
Press.
Lady lin shoe store)-' would like
to look at some cloth slippers for my
self" Clerk (until recently in the dry
goods line)-"Yes, madam; something
all wool and yard widea"-Harper's
Bazar.
1.-THE man of the future ages will have
three arms" according to scientist. We
have not heard what the extra arm is for,
but there is no doubt that it will be very
convenient for scratching his back.
Graphic.
Sitting Bull is said to be on the decline
and it is thought that he will not 1.-Two
much longer. This will be good news
for the settler in his vicinity who is en-
gagged in laudable efforts to grow scalp.
-Es:elline (Dak.) Bell.
AS debtor Schabaram has peculiar
method of conduct. 'tFor my part" hs
says, sswhen creditor has the imperti-
nence to write to me for his little amount
that ends it, I don't pay him" ''And
when he doesen't writes" ''In that case
always wait to hear from him"
"Ugh," grunted topper when the bar
keeper refused to give him whisky and
handed him glass of water instead.
"Ugh, amt much difference tween water
an your whisky any way."' "Of' course
not" replied the barkeeper. "Only
fifteen cents, that's all. - Washington
Critic. "
sDo you people speculate any9" asked
a New Yorker, VINO was passing day or
two in an Indiana village. "Oh, little;
but it has become purity risky" was the
reply. "The last two spectators went up
for five years apiece" ''For what2"
ssThey broke into the postof1ice to specu-
late on stamps. "-WaU Street Meaos.
Mrs. Yerger is much given to gadding.
She is everlastingly on the streets, while
Colonel Yerger is much given to staying
at home and smoking his pipe. 81 be-
lieve you love your nasty old pipe more
than you do me-" she remarked, indig-
naptly. 'I guess I do. My pipe doesn't
90 out as often as you do."-7sras Syt-
inQs.
He had fought under the old flag, he
said, with husky pathos, but the officer
had two thin-faced women and colored
expressman ready to swear that the row
occurred beneath the red rag in front OF
an auction room, and grew out of .
wrangle about the price of a secondhand
cook stove with broken leg Chicago
Ledger.
WESTERN BOYS LAMENT.
I wished lived away down East, where cod
fish salt the sea,
And where the folks nave pumpkin pie and
applesaSs for tea.
Us boys who's livin' here out West don't get
morn half show
We don't have nothin' else to do but jest to
sort o. grow.
Oh, if wuz bird I'd fly million miles
To where they feed their boys on pork and
beans three times day;
To where the place they call the Hub gives
out its shiny spokes,
And where the folks-so father says-S
-Chicaqo News.
C-..-. To ACo,, G. r1ad