davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

An abscnt-minded Congressman once lost
the vote Of an entire family by his careless
ness. He had way Of saying ~ would be
glad to have you do so,' and one day a
constituent, with his family, paid his re-
spects. The Congressman was busy, and
after some talk the visitor said:
"We will remain in the city several
days"
~ should be glad to have you do so,"
replied the NJ. @. as he fumbled pile OF
papers on his desk.
"We will come in and see you every now
and them" chirped the VISITORS wife.
81 should be very glad to have you do
so,n said the Congressman,
Sand bring around our other little boy
you haven't seem" suggested the husband.
~ should be glad TO have you do So"
still said the Congressman,
Then they rose.
"Well, Mr.. Blank" said the visitor ex-
tending his hand, "we must tell you good
by and go back to the hotel"
~ should be very glad to have you do
so,n said the Congressman again, aud he
wondered Tor week what made his visit
ors leave so abruptly and never come back
TO see him as they had said they would.
Mr.. Butcher OF Virginia announces him
self as candidate for Congress, and says
he Will take the stump August |. The an-
nouncement is made thus early In order to
give the stump plenty of time to escape.
"Daniel,n remarked the President this
morning, with cold, stern look on his
face.
"Yes, SIRE" responded Daniel.
"How many bills did veto yesterday p"
"Only fifteen, sire"
"Did any get away, Daniel Yn
''Not that observed, sire.n
The President sat absorbed for a few
moments, and then he spoke again.
"Daniel,n he said.
eyes, sire.n
"Do you think 1t will be necessary for
the Capitol TO fall on Congress to make It
tumble TO itself 7" and the President with
out waiting for reply resumed his pen.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
FOR SALE AND RENT.

ID EAL ESTATE BULLETIN
N of
TH0S. e. WAGGAMAN, OH + street.
Changes made Wednesdays and Saturdays
THREE-STORY BRICK AND FRAME
HOUSES FOR SALE.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
FOR REMT...HOlJSES.


EOR SALE-By ID. @. Proctor 81 Son,
IL 122G Il st. II W., on easy terms.
IMPROVED.
University Hill, u RS, all La b30o0 IT,. $4,000
1dth st, bet q and II W, all IN 1, IL rs... 10000
18th st, bet X and n W, all m 1. rs... 1000
S st, bet 9th and 10th n W. all IN l, 10 RS. 5000
T ST, bet 18th and 10th W, all m !, o rs. 5000
10Th st, bet 7 and U n W, all m |, o 9rs... $500
st, bet 18th and 10th n W, all mi, 7rs. 1000
UNIMPROVED.
Lots on v st, bet 13th and 18th; pr. Coo per ft.
Lots on w st, bet 14th and 10Th; pr 75c per IT.
L'OR RENT-No. 1871 T. Street n o, Bay
Il window brick house, s rooms and bath;
mod. imp; fine condition; S20,50 per month.
Address OWNER, No. II I'd st n Q.
IIOR SALE-Near Lincoln Park, Six
IL room brick; mod. imp; all In irst-class
condition; very cheap. w ii FISKE & CO.,
1890 N Y ave.
NOR RENT-House 622 A st N Q, Z
Il rooms; all mod imps. Inquire at 2i2 1st
n G, near Capitol Park
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
AUCTION SALES.
V,HoMAs BOWLING.

'I'doMAS DOWLING,
L. Auctioneer.
TRUSTEES SALE OF LOT ON ID STREET,
BETW ZEN 1ST AND 2DSE.
by virtue OF decd of trust dated February
2i. 1891, and recorded in liber No. 1012, folio
s2i of the u. G. Land Records. and ut the re-
guest of the party secured thereby, shall sell
In front of the premises, on FRIDAY, the I'D
DAY OF JULY, NJ O'Clock p. M, the east
half OF lot No. ~, In square No. 734, with the
improvements, consisting of an old frame
houee.
Terms, no.third cash, balance in 0 and 12
months, or all cash. $500 required at time OF
sale. Other particulars made known at sale.
JOHN LYNCH, Trustee.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
BELMONT HALL.

SCIooLEY'S MOUNTAIN SPRINGS, N. j..
This beautifully located family summer re-
sort will be open from June 1 to October. For
circular and particlars address
d. A. CROWELL Proprietor.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.

"My dear" said Mr.. Henpeck to his wife,
after they had had few domestic remarks;
81 wish you would do as Mr.. Gladstone has
done.n
"Bah! with your Mr.. Gladstone" she re-
piled angrily. "What has he done9'
"Ile has made some small concessions In
his Home Rule plan, for the sake of har-
mony."
We hope We are violating no condolences
when we say that when Senator salisbury
bends his continuous personnel before
beautiful woman and smiles into her liquid
eyes, the giddiest young swell In high places
might as well check his baggage for Acco
mack and retire.
Before Congressman Goff undertakes any
more naval excursions he should repair his
rudder and get new tiller ropes.
Senator Evarts likes to use the postal card
in his correspondence, but can't do it, be-
cause when one OF his long sentences be-
gins to extend itself over the edges it looks
like the card was coming unraveled and
causes remark.
Mr.. Baxterwas about to take his wife and
children out for a sail.
"Come on" he said, "there's spanking
breeze and we mustn't miss it.'
"Papa," interrupted his little son, with
his hands firmly folded behind him, stake
the rest Of the family and go. With that
bind NJ q hraaua blowinr dop,t uant 70 ha
caught on a little boat with mamma until
have learned to SWIM"
Said Speaker Carlisle,
With a sad, sad smile,
To Morrison on Projections:
"We'd better 80 slow
For while, don't you know,
In order to have reflection"
Then Randall comes IN,
With glad, glad grin,
And hearing this sad confession,
Says "Randall thinks best
To give it rest
TIL some other later session."
P.S.-And what Randall says, goes.
"Darling," said young department
clerk 10 pretty ueOTpetoWn girl whose
waist his arm encircled, "what do you
think your dear papa would say If l were
to ask him for your hand2"
81 don't think he'd like 1t, Harry" she
lisped.
"No?" he said in dismay, for he though,
he was very dense with the old gentleman.
"No9 Why not?"
"Because, dear" she smiled, ''he wouldn't
want his only daughter mutilated In thai
manner. Ask for all Of me, Harry, and
have a vague suspicion you'll get m,
mighty quick"
Harry gave her squeeze as big as I
| dime museum anaconda and saw the fathe
next day In most successful manner.
The North Carolina editors
Go way from town to-day,
And we are very sad because
We thought they'd come to stay.
We hope the Pine Tree boys had fun
With not thing to mar,
And as they go from Washington,
We sadly say "Tar, tar,
Come again, gentlem en-"
An abscnt-minded Congressman once los
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

THE sentiment in Nova Scotia in
favor of seeding from Great Britain
and being annexed to the United States
is growing daily. Already are the
Nova Scotians familarizing themselves
with the duties of American citizen
ship. A special dispatch from Aunap-
oils, in that province, where the voting
at the late election was very close, says
that one or more of the ballot-boxes
are missing.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
PERSONAL,

DRIvATE DANCING LESSONS Given
i by a lady thoroughly competent to teach
the waltz, military sohottisohe sc, by a
Critic office.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

THE FACT that some people do not
like the architectural style of the new
Pension building nor General Meigs as
an architect, and the further fact that
these same people are opposed to util
izing Judiciary Square for the new
Postofllce and District buildings sim.
ply because General Meigs believes
that would be good location for them,
does not deter The Critic in the least
from its already announced opinion
that the southern front of that square
is the best site for the buildings pro-
posed that has yet been been named
or Is likely to be named, and that un-
less this reservation is so utilized 1t
win be many long day before they
will be built at all We have adopted
this idea with entire independence
OF whats General Meigs may or
may not think about 1t. The
opinion Of this officer Is only
an individual opinion, and what sort Of
an architect he may or may not be
does not enter into the question.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

The North Carolina editors
Go way from town to-day,
And we are very sad because
We thought they'd come to stay.
We hope the Pine Tree boys had fun
With not thing to mar,
And as they go from Washington,
We sadly say "Tar, tar,
Come again, gentlem en-
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

We hope We are violating no condolences
when we say that when Senator salisbury
bends his continuous personnel before
beautiful woman and smiles into her liquid
eyes, the giddiest young swell In high places
might as well check his baggage for Acco-
mack and retire.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

Mr.. Butcher OF Virginia announces him
self as candidate for Congress, and says
he Will take the stump August l.. The an-
nouncement is made thus early in order to
give the stump plenty of time to escape.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
SPECIAL NOTICES.

s~SssNOTICE TO HORSE owNERs.-
49, Any Information concerning the rid
ing bridlo, brush and several little things
taken from stable 1107 @ 81 n W, and known
TO have been offered for sale IN the neighbor-
hood, will be thankfully received. Please
address as above.
n>yszsIx AND EIGHT PER Gent.
E-sS INXESTMENTs. PRINCIPAL AND
INTEREST GUARANTEED, ABsO-
Lutte CERTAINTY AND sECU-
The Equitable Trust and Investment Com
3. W Perkins NJ O., president Loans from
$500 70 $4,000, running from to years, SO.
cured by MORTGAGE upon some OF the best
forced sale. Also per cent bankablo com.
mefcial paper, running from 10 days to
months. Interest collected without any
charge payable at any bank the investor may
weston. Recommended by Hon. John j In.
gals Hon. Preston u. Plumb U. s. senators;
Hon. John A. Martin, Governor of Kansas;
Hon, Geo. N. McCrary, ex-Secretary of War;
leading. bankers and others, whose recon-
STONE & LITTLEFIELD,
Washington Agents, 1925 st. n. W.
s=CO-OPERATIvE BUILDERS
~ Section Of the Integral Cooperative
System, composed of carpenters and joiners,
are now bidding on all work In this line, In.
cuding the erection and completion of build.
ings of every, description. Plans and specih-
will do well TO submit plans already made.
Address LOCK BOX 800, City z. o.
srSseSTARTLING FACTS.
You cannot afford to ignore them. Tho fol.
lowing article appears In q recent issue of the
New York Commercial Bulletins:
IAN expert examined and reported upon a
sample of Chicago refined lard The other day,
which. he said, did not contain pound OF
hogs fat, hut consisted of tallow, grease, cot
ton seed oil and Oleostearinc.n
This mixture Is sold for about ono cent per
pound less than the pure article. Isn't cheap
at any price.
CASsARD's "sTAR BRAND" LARD is
pure. Every package guaranteed. Try II and
you will use no other.
g. CASSARD 3 SON,
a01-d00-ill West Baltimore ST.,
Baltimore, Md.
Curers Of the celebrated "Star Brand" Mild
Cured Hams and Breakfast Bacon. Eacn
piece is branded.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22
FOR SALE-HOUSES.


LNOR SALE-At Mount Pleasant, Sow
II eral very pretty cottages, with nicely
improved lots, at fair prices and ON easy
terms. WALKER a WILSON, 1905 ST n W.
EOR SALE-Briok House 033 NJ st,
II bet 9th and 10th SITS n W; II rooms, two
bathrooms; lot "A by l05 to alley; cheap and
terms reasonable. Apply on premises.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

1894 street northwest.
L'OR RENT-House 74O 9th ut N w,
II containing s rooms; rent S25 per MONTH
Inquire of THOMAS Il. FRANCE. 636 q st n W
TOR RENT-2-StOry Brick, 7Rooms,
Il mod imps; stable In rear; 1903 II st n W;
price S2 30 per month. Apply ON promises.
TNOR RENT-A 8 Story Back Build
II ing brick house, No 1907 10th st W, hav-
ing rooms and bath, with all modern i'm
provements. Apply at 1645 18th st.
EOR RENT-A Groom House; Dry
Il CELLAR water and gas. 73l I'd st W. In
quire next door.
DOR RENT-A New TwO-StOry Brick
Il house; O rooms and bath, hot and cold
water; No 90 l. st n W, between 1st and North
Capitol SITS. Apply at 22l 18th st W.
EOR RENT Now House, No. 100 p
II SITS n W, rooms, bath and coal cellar;
all mod imps; bay window, south front. In
guire at 1il0 8th ST n W, or Il ID DAILY, Centre
Market.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-22

Before Congressman Goff undertakes any
more naval excursions he should repair his
rudder and get new tiller ropes.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
1t AstGnished the Public

to hear Of the resignation of DIR, Pierce as a
Congressman to devote himself solely to his
labors rs a physician. 1t was because his true
constituents were the sick and afflicted every
where. They will find DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery" a benefcent use of his
scientific knowledge in their behalf. Con
sumption, bronchitis cough heart disease, fe-
yer and ague, intermittent fever dropsy, neu-
ragia, goitre or thick neck and all diseases OF
the blood, are cured by this world-reDowncd
medicine. Its properties are wonderful, its ac-
ton magical. By druggists
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
percllerCl Horses.

Mr.. N. w. Durham, of Wayne, DuPage Coun.
t., ILL.,, whose advertisement is running in this
paper, writes us under date of March Goth that
although his sales the present season have been
numerous and satisfactory, he has still OH hand al
his Oaklawn Farm ninety imported, acclimated
tried, and guaranteed Percheron stations weigh
ing from l,600 to 1000 lbs, and old enough for
service
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
SCOTS EMULSION of PURE
Cod Liver Oil, with Hypophosphites,

us Use an lung TROUBLES.
DIR. HIRAM CADoRETrO, of Jacksonville,
Fla, says: :" have for the last ten months pre-
scribed your Emulsion to patients suffering
from lung troubles, and they seem to be great
ly benefited by its use"
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
TWELVE MONTHS IN ANDERSONVILLE.

Written by Conrile LcsseI Long, private Co F. 18th
Ind infantry. true and entertaining narrative OF Per-
Sunai Experience in Rebel Prison Pens also list Of
comrades who died at AuderSonye from Ohio Indiana,
Michigan and Illinois. Price in best CLOTH $3.50. First
ready for delivery Send copy Agents wanted
Address LON! * BUTLER, Andrews, lad.
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
WhitlGy'S Patent Clothes and Carpet Beaten.
Delights Eyer,body. sells NJ sjght.

EscsESHi5 satefyDD sells az -i.aI.
Send p cts for sample and terms to agents Money
funded if not satisfactory. II has three oil tempered steel
whips which will bend double. and for removing dust
from Clothing, Furs, CARPETS and Upholstered
Furuiiurc, is worth dozen sticks Send 81 for q
dozen small size SO for dozen large size, and you can
sell them tn your neighhOrS in half an hour
L.. =. COOK, WALiiNtFORp, CONN.
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25

Ayers Pills are purely vegetable perfectly
safe, do not grippe, and are splendid tonic.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25

yVREEXISGs TO DEATH! SOLDIERS! Far
Z merS. don't let Your stock freeze another winter
Plant Red Cear,. Forest Tree Seedlings Fruit Trees and
Plants for shelter Ornament ami 'FRONT.'. We have in
stock; low prices. Write Ton Price List Free
Address BAILEY & HAEFORD, 1iIkandI, Jackson Co.,
Ill. tOn Illinois c. K. RI
Mention The National Tribune.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
JUDGE POLAND.

Judge Poland, Of Vermont, has been spend
ing some time in Washington. lie has been a
Member Of one branch or the other of Con-
gress nearly ali the time since before the war
He was shelved two years ago and says lie
does not intend to enter the political arena
again. lie wears the same blue swallow-tail
coat, decorated with brass buttons-or one just
Ike it--that be always did. He would not be
The National tribune., 1886-03-25

yTANTED-By W. W. King DOniphan Mo.-The adj
dress of Vim NcDcrmJt, Hospital steward, iSt CAL.
and John Mason Co. b. lst Cal, who nurse IN hos
ptal at Fl Yuma IN iS6l and %. 24H2t
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
A NEW CHAPLAIN,

Rev. E. D. Hurtley, late pastor of Metropoli-
tan NJ. L. Church, resigned his position as Chap
lain of the Senate in consequence of his re-
mOval to another field of ministerial work Rev.
John G. Butler, pastor of the Memorial Luth-
eran Church, Washington, was elected by the
Senate to the VACANCY
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
WANTED-ADDRESSES.

Advertisements for G9fceses Inserted IUer tts head Is
he rate Of y cents for three !HIes AatfsSs rsf'es TO
G3rYtiSsgs.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
LAW PAYS BEST.

Hon. f. John Ellis, for many years Mem
Der of Congress from Louisiana, was one of
those who were showed under at the election
in 1854 He came 10 Washington to practice
law, and has succeeded SO well that he is max
ing from $4,000 to $4,000 a year. His old
friends in New Orleans are urging him to run
for the scat made vacant by the recent death of
Mir Hahn, but he says he doesn't want it. He
has quit working for glory and is going in for
money. He is getting out of his profession
three times q Congrcssman's salary, and has no
inclination to go back to the weak and beg
carly elements Of political life.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25

NTANTED-By THE NATIONAL TRLBCNE-The adj
w dresses of the following manned soldiers of the FL
and 18th Kan Cav, their heirs: Samuel Miller and
ThoS Love- Co. r. 2d Kan. Cav; DOrrity LO5stOn. Co
+, I'd Kan Cav; Franklin VI. Jordan and Hugh I. Hi
bOurn, Co. G., nth Kan. Cav.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25

yxTANTED-By TIE NATIONAL TEIEUNE-The al
w of Samuel Hale late vi I'd Battery, I2t6 V.
r. c. formerly of Jamestown, Pa Also address OF Geo.
d. AcSey, Co. \, ISt Wis Cav formerly Of Eau Claire
Wis. 2S2-u
The National tribune., 1886-03-25
THE ELECTORAL VOTE,

The Senate passed the bill prescribing certain
changes in the manner of counting the cleo
toral vote. 1t is intended to prevent the COM
plications that have heretofore arisen on ac-
count of conflicting returns from State.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25


1t is very rarely that Washington penJ}c per-
NIT their social relations to be disturbed by
politics. An illustration of this is found in the
President determination TO dine all the Sen
atOTs-in two lots-beginning rightin the heat
Of the debate over the rugged issue that has
been so squarely raised between the north end
of the Capitol and the White House. Half u
them were banquetcd one evening last week.
1t seems somewhat anomalous, under the cir
cumstances, TO think of the frosty Edmunds
the fiery Ingalls,, and Sherman and Evarts, and
the rest Of his political enemies sitting with
their knees under the Presidents festive board
But the latter docs not carry politics into his
diniDg-rO0sn, and the Senators leave theirs be-
hind them when they emerge from the Cham
Der. At the White House and at social gather
inCs of all kinds Democrats and Republicans
meet and mingle with the utmost cOrdialiiy.
Although the political storm flag be nailed to
the peak, a gentle spirit Of grace, mercy and
peace prevails in social circles. Two years ago
President Arthur started in with great zeal to
entertain at dinner air the Members of both
Houses Of Congress, about 80 at a time. But
the contract was too large for him, and he only
got half way through the list.
The National tribune., 1886-03-25

Mr.. President have word TO say these
amendments j WAS very anxious when the bill
from the House, and 50 stated, that it should
be taken up and passed as the House passed it, The
Senator having it in charge, however was DESTROYS
TO have certain amendments made To il for the bet
termcnt of the bill; presume that was his inIcn-
ton; and lie persisted III offering them against the
protest of quite a number of Senators who were
very anxious for the bill to pass from the
House.
ind no fault whatever with that sir; but if one
amendment can be agreed To by the other House
another amendment which is right should be ad-
ded; and if any amendment that has been offered
to the bill Is of Itself entirely consistent with the
idea OF pensions and correct III every proposition il
i the amendment offered now by the Senator from
Kansas. Why? 1t proposes that pensions shall
commence from the date OF the discharge where
the disability occurred prior to the discharge, and
where the disability occurred subsequent to the
discharge, then that the pension shall commence at
the date OF the disability
1 desire to ask but one question. Why should
not u pension commence at the date of the tis.-
bility" What does II law granting pension mean {?
1t means that pension shall be granted for dsa-
bility At what time shall il be granted? The man
is entitled to the pension the very day the dsa-
bility occurs, and why? Because of the disability.
If he is entitled to the pension because of the sa-
bty then he is entitled 10 it from the commence
ment of the disability.
The only argument that can be made against .his
proposition IS the amount ol money II takes There
is no soundness in that argument, because if the
party had applied for pension When the disability
occurred he then would have received the amount
| of money that he entitled To under the law,
which has since been only accommodating ia the
Treasury To his credit if the Congress of the United
States willing 10 adopt the principle that ought
| to be applied to all pensions.
VIII any one tell me that if man loses his arm
or his leg ia battle lac - not entitled 10 pension
the very moment he receives that wound? Under
the law he is; and if lie is entitled to that pension at
the moment he receives that wound should like
to know why is he not entitled to the pension
laiing back to the time lie received the wound :?
There is no reason as said, except the reason that
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-10-29
California Excursions.

The first California excursion of the sea
son will leave Detroit via the Michigan
Central railroad, Monday, October 18th
Fare for the round trip $Sl.20.
The route will be via the Michigan Con-
trial 70 Chicago, via, any line between
Chicago and Omaha or Kansas City, via
the Union Pacific. Omaha TO Ogden via,
Denver and Cheyenne and the Central
Pacific 10 San Francisco or Los Angeles
Tickets good TO return for six months.
Passengers desiring TO return via, any
other Pacific line can do so ON payment Of
$40 90 at Los Angeles or San Francisco.
Tickets can be extended ca days on the
payment of SIS extra.
Tickets, sleeping car berths, and all in
formation can be procured at the Union
Ticket Office, G6 Woodward avenue.
CHAs A. WARREN, Agt
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-10-29
ANOTHER CHAPTER
Gladstone Says the Demand for Home Rule is
Based on Constitutional Grounds


Mr. Gladstone publishes an addendum
TO hi pamphlet on the Irish question in
the new and cheap edition just issued. In
this he says
Il tried 10 explain 60 the Irish deputa-
ton at Hawarden that the history OF the
year, preceding the union and the manner
in which il was brought about were relevant
10 the present demant for home rule. 1t
is not a matter of rhetoric, nor of sym
pathy, nor of contested eNpediency, but
one of strictly constitutional aud judicial
argument Had the union constituted a
morally valid covenant Ireland would
have been morally bound by it. If it
proved injurious Ireland could only urge
her claims to relief upon general grounds
as are applicable 10 contested legislative
Improvement. Or If the union had not
been at the time Of its institution moral
~ binding compact. il might have become
such. as Mr.. Goodwin Smith has Justly
shown, by subsequent ratification. Nei-
Their case secured. Instead of arguing
what does not require argument, have
put into the witness box two determined
opponents and their declaration i, that
OF n. treaty, were absolutely wanting in
the conditions which alone confer moral
validity. II possible it is yet more plain
that there has been no subsequent ratifica-
tioa Of the union. a forcible effort
against the union failed in 1903. The Legal
pacific movement OF 1910 met with silent
scorn The military suppressed the coun-
" meetings OF 1870. From the time
Of the first reform act there has been
no acceptance Of the union bv Ireland
which could ratify an net, morally invalid
at the outset. With increased political
privilege and power lreland's attitude has
become more pronounced and she is now,
in tho highest constitutional sense, de
mnnding. not repeal, but important and
profound notifications OF the incorporat-
ing &C. OF parliamentary union. II this
all he so lreland's demand is not grounded
on mere political eNpediency, but 10 Is the
exercise OF the constitutional and judicial
right which she possessed III l''O and has
never lost ~