The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-08-27
The Exchange Fiend.

No one, except those who have work.
ed more or less about newspaper Of
fee, says The Cincinnati Enquirer, can
fully appreciate the exchange fend.
He is to the exchange editor just
about what the spring poet is to the
managing editor or the man with
denial is to the city editor-nothing
short OF a holy terror.
And you never know when he is com.
ing, nor what shape he will assume
when he does come. He. is liable to
appear as a perfect gentleman, and
the editors in the room will all smile
at once, and see which one can make
the most favorable impression, think,
ing he might be theatrical manager
with his pockets full OF passes, or press
agent OF a circus, when, to the utter
disgust OF the poor fellows present, he
will show himself in his true colors by
opening his remarks with:
"Do yon exchange with The Jim
town Crower2"
The exchange editor tumblers tc
the racket, and pitches into his work
with unusual vim, but the other fell
lows punch him and call his attention
to the request OF the stranger. Their
he looks up and says
"What can dotor you?"
"Do you exchange with the Jimtown
Crower?"
"Yes. Youwill find it in that pile.
Help yourself"
THANK you. l used to reside. in
Jimtown. Haven't heard from there
since l left some three months ago."
Quiet has been restored. The polit.
ical editor has his mind once more set
on a big leader and the dramatic critic
proceeds to ventilate his opinions on
paper, when the exchange fend opens
fire.
"Why, here's The Albany Bladder !!
| haven't seen it for years. Used to
live there and was a regular sub.
scriber. Wonder If Jim Scott is the
editor yet %
Don't know" snaps thee.e. Take
it along"
"Thank you ever so much. Scott
was red-hot writer. Got licked a
number OF times for things he wrote.
He could write better than most OF
them, but wasn't worth q penny in a
fight. Well, bless me, if here amt The
Jackson Bugle! Thought it had gone
up the hue long ago. It's ten years
since | saw copy OF it. Bill Pull
through edited 1t then. Why, he's
editor yet See here"
can right, take it along"
Don't you need it?"
"No, l don't want it,
"Thank you. Pm very much oblig.
ed to you. 1t does one SO much good
to come across these old friends. You
never met Bill Pullthrough?"
"Not as know of"
"Well, you ought to know him, as
he is certainly a character-a regular
genius. Always hard up and borrow
ing from everybody. Struck me for a
dollar once. Well, blame me, if here
amt The Rosewood Roaster. Doyou
exchange with it?'
I'm sorry to say we do"
"1t used to be q great paper when
Joe Skies edited it,. But after he sold
it it kind OF ran. down. Skies was as
good OH the fight as he was at writing.
He came near killing man once who
called on him for retraction. Once
he was going to kill me. Wonder how
The Roaster is making it now?"
Don't know. Take it along"
ooh, thank you ever'so much. But
you haven't read it yet, have you?"
"Never mind Take any you want;
they are no use to me. Glad to get
rid of them"
THANK you. Twill appreciate them
so much, and so will my wife, and my
daughter will just go wild over them
She, cuts out the poetry and pastes it
in a scrap,book. She's got two filled
already, and the third pretty near.
She can write poetry, too, and some
of it is real cute"
Then, after selecting some twenty or
thirty of the leading exchanges, he
bows out with
"Well, good day. I'm ever so
much obliged to you for these.
Ii you don't mind I'll come up
agaia and get The Bugler' and The
Roaster. You can just lay them aside
tor me when you are through with
them, and I'll be ever so much obliged
to you. Maybe, if think OF it, I'll
bring along some OF my daughters
poetry and get your opinion of it; you
may want to print some OF it. Good
day"
''Gbod day."
Then the political editor drops back
into his chair and -'--!''
The dramatic man sticks the point ot
his pen in his leg to see if he is still
alive, while the exchange editor clips
! out a two-column article on "a Sure
Cure for Cranks" and reheadlincss ii
Society Scandals" so as to be sure
that everybody will read it.