davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
WIT AND WISDOM.

In the battle of life all have a
chance TO win the champiOnship.-N
\. Examiner.
A New Orleans grinder has
been killed by leaning against ar cleo
ire light post. We have repeatedly
said that Burlington needs the electric
light.-Burlington Free Press.
1t is good thing to laugh, at any
rate; and if straw can tickle man, it
is an instrument of happiness. Beasts
can weep when they suffer, but they
can not laugh.-Dryden.
The better way
Swear OF. though your companions raj;
You may succeed. but il you fall
lis better to resolve and fail.
Than never to resolve at all.
Boston Courier
A paper out West has been trying
to tell us why we sneeze. There may
be some occult reason why Western
people sneeze, but in this vicinity We al
WAYS sneeze because We can't help it.
Somerriile journal.
Where necessity ends, desire and
curiosity begins, and no sooner are We
supplied with every thing nature can
demand, than we sit down to contrive
artificial appetites.-Johnson.
-.Pecans?' said the train bow;
..pecans' pecans? English walnuts?
Filberts?''' Testy old passenger-Go
way! Don't want 'em! Hain't got no
teeth! Train boy-All right. Gum
drops? Gumdrops?-Burdette.
What is the first thing you would
do. Jones. if you were stung by a hor-
metz" asked Smith. who had been read
ing an article on the treatment of stings.
Howl replied Jones, solemnly. And
the conversation abruptly ended
Boston Globe.
At Lake Nyassa, Africa, a young
man can be bought for forty yards of
white cotton cloth. In America young
man sometimes goes for piece Of
calico. So there isn't so much differ
ence between the youth of Africa and
America-merely amatter of color
Chicago Nail.
Thought it Strange.-Literary
young lady Ito her father)-Paw, 1
think it's awful strange that you don't
Ike Tennyson when'evervbody else dotes
on him. Father with look of surprise)
Il do like him. Young LADY, am
so glad, for l thought you disliked his
writings. Father-Oh, his writings;
well, haven't any for his writings,
but 1 haven't anything personally
against the old man.-Arkansas Trar-
eller.
How is your sister this morning,
Bobby" inquired Featherly. Il don't
know how she is this morning. said
Bobby. zoos amt seen her, but she was
sick las night" That's stranger'
exclaimed Featherly. in sad alarm.
1T must have been very sudden. She
vas feeling well when left" Well"
said Bobby. indifferently. ..all know
about it is she told ma she had suffered
from martyrdom all the evening" ~
i. Times
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
AND EDUCATIONAL

College professors in the United
States get an average salary of 81 $50.
~. Y Times.
The Episcopal mission at Mandalay
has been reopened after a suspension
Of six years.
The Astor library. New York. con-
tains POI. 400 volumes, exclusive of PAM
phlets. and had last year daily aver
age of 2S5 readers.
The Andover Theological Seminary
has three Turkish students, named
Christakes ApOstolos Derebev, Caspar
Hagop Bulbulian and Hovhannes ke-
work Santikian.
The English journal. the Rock, says
that ''it is reported that Chinese
Princess has been converted to Chris
tianity. The lady's name is the Princess
Kung. and she has burned her Buddhist
books"
in Pennsylvania. in spite of .
thorough arbitrary school system that
clothes school committeeman almost
with despOtic powers. $4,000 children
are reported not to attend school at all.
philadelphia Press.
The board of education in Berlin
will place warm water baths for the
children in their school-houses. Ii the
experiment works well it will be ex-
tended. The schools of Gottingen have
been thus equipped for some years. and
about seventy-tive per cent. OF the chill
dren use the baths.
-Thirtv-five handkerchiefs. nine
pieces of Madras cloth, one hundred and
five fathoms of cloth. one piece of silk,
one hundred and seven reels of thread,
three bars of soap. eleven pipes. seven
heads of tobacco. one paddock, four
papers of needles and one pair of scis-
sOrs, were contributions at q church
dedication recently at Nembee, on the
Niger river.
I'm order to better the condition II
the village clergy the Holy Synod Of
Russia encourages the establishment of
loan and savings banks exclusively
for clergymen. An institution of the
kind established in the diocese of Sara
totf over ten years ago has been quite
successful. The bank has now on de-
post over three thousand roubles.
According to a recent census. there
are now, says the Foreign Missionary.
10000 Christians in Japan. $1,000 of
whom are protestants. The number of
commandments can not now be less than
10000, and vet it is but thirteen years
since the first Protestant church was
organized.
There are only four students this
year in the school of agriculture and
horticulture connected with Harvard
College The instructors are SO numer-
Gus that there is one for every pupil,
and few left over even then. The in
struction is given by lectures and recita-
tons and by practical exercises in the
greenhouses. fields and laboratories.
Hartford Courdnt.
The two lower classes of one of our
Western colleges have been keeping up
steady fusillade of hostilities against
each other ever since the beginning OF
the school year. The belligerent pitch
to which they have worked each other
up is indicated by the notices they have
recently adopted: I'VE Live on Raw
Beef" are the words inscribed upon the
banner of the Sophomores. The Fresh
men 90 one better by declaring. ''Om
Beverage is the Blood of the Bengal
Tiger CHICAGO Journal
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
A PLOT TO ASSASSINATE.
A Rufyian in Kansas Hires . Man to Murder
His Wife and Stepchild.

A Rufaan in Kansas Hires . Man to Murder
His Wife and Stepchild.
BELofr Ram, March 4.-R u. Parker. a
former resident of this place, but now OF
Abilene, came back here yesterday evening,
accompanied by a young man named Frank
Dunn. whom he brought with him from the
latter town TO assassiuate his wife and
stepchi.d. who live here, but have been Seq
arated from Parker for some months. Dunn
gave the job up to the officers at Abilene
and this place, but was instructe To carry
out his project, so far as shooting was con-
cerned. He was shown by Parker the
room which his wife and stepdaughter oc-
cupied. and told the location of the bed. and
was to have SIS for firing five shots from.
q revolver through the window into the
bed Dunn fired the shots according to
contract and Immediately afterward
met Parker at the rendezvous agreed
upon and was paid twenty dollars
by him, with promise OF five dollars ToFe
if it proved that he had made . sure thing
of il Officers were concealed so near as to
hear all the conversation, and this morning
Parker was arrested and is now in jail.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Labo, s.-ikes TLr~aten.d,

CHICAGO. March s "A number Of labor
strikes are threatened At Racine, Wis, q
large manufacturing center. In the city.
which has population Of 81 600, are almost
if not quite 100 manufactures, including in
the list the great works of the J. L Case
threshing machine company with its varied
side issues-such as the pIow works. wagon
shops and tanneries, N. N. Secor's trunk
factory, the Racine wooien mills and scores
of other industries. Dependent for their
daily bread upon these are 1900 mechanics
whose wives and children are as much in
terested in the wage question as are the
wOrkingmen.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Tn. Mallory Boycott.

SAN ANTONIO, Tex, March "A commit
tee from the local lodge, Knights of Labor. is
going the grand rounds in San Antonio jus;
now trying to get the prominent merchants
to boycott the Mallory steamship line. Thus
enlargement here. Several of our mer-
chants told the c'mml ttee they sympatiized
with the working men in their efforts t. re-
cei-e better wages in legitimate manner,
but would conduct their own business as
best suited their interests and would conse-
ouently decline to recognize the authority
OF the Knights of Labor to dictate Whist
line they shall patroniZe when mat ing
shipments
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Importing Laborers.

DETROIT. Mich. March 5-TEe imported
Canadian ship carpenters are being cared
for by the strikers in this city and will not
work. They have made affidavits that their
labor was contracted for in Montreal 10y the
agent of the Trenton ship yards. The
Knights Of Labor are considering whether
they have sufficient cause 10 prosecute the
company for importing contract labor. An
other lot of Canadians were also expected,
but have been detained at Port Huron.
There are seventy of these. and the strikers
will meet them before their arrival iG this
city and endeavOr to keep them from work
ing. The strikers feel confident of success
and expect 70 resume work in few days.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Crushed bv a Bowlder.

CARTHAGE. Mo-. March Another hor-
rible accident happened in the Lich:ar
mines, eight miles from here, about seven
o'clock this morning. which cost Wilson
Haines' lif-. Just after he had entered the
drift, which is some eighty feet under
the surface of the ground. a
large rock fell on him from
the roof of the drift. The bowider struck
the poor miner on the head AMI cru shed
him SO badly that he lived but few min
utes. Wilson Haine> is the sixth mar who
has met sudden and violent death in the
Lichliter dggings, his brother, Lewis
Haines, having been blown up by giant
powder only a week ago.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Professional Courtesy.

Two Texas doctors met on the street
II feel sorry for you. You ought not
to be out in this kind of weather. You
are q sick man." said DR.. Blister.
Il am not feeling very WE'LL" replied
DR.. Soonover.
''What doctor is treating youe"
81 am prescribing for myself"
"'YOu shouldn't do that. You are IL
able to be arrested for attempted sui
eide. "-TsIas Sytings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

Ex-Gov. ODEx BowIH, Of Maryland, says
that St Jacobs Oil II . marvellous pain-curs.
Prof. Grothe, Brooklyn Board Of Health,
says Red Star Cough euro is free from
opistes and highly eficacious. Twenty
i've cents
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

PIXIES TOOrHACHE DROPS cure in minute, sc
GteEn's Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. sc.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corus Bunions.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

About two , ears ago, q prominent citizen
Of Chicago was told BY his physicians that
he must die. They said his system was %
debilitated that there was nothing left Ia
build on. He made up his mind to try q
Pierce's dGolden Medical Discovery" and
took it according to directions He began
to improve at once. He kept up the treat
ment for some months, and is today a well
man. He says the Discovery" saved his
, life.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

ADVERTISING il . good deal like making
love to . widow. It can't be overdone.-
CHICAGO Le60xy
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Another Life Saved.

TuR cuckney il blind He can not see IN
II even II tits before his l. Pit.6srgA CArss-
fe{e
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Wonderful,

INC bridge or d.
..sion Of my nose was
about halfgonc. / have
used four bottles Of
Ely's Cream Balm. ap-
2lyinGi 1t to the affected
parts. which has about
cured up the nostrils.
I had tried all other
remedies on the mar
Eet.-J. A. woop. IS
". High Street, C0lum-
bus, U.
I was amicted with
catarrh and cold in
head used Ely's
Cream Balm. which
cured new. Fl. Hill
LrARD. Dentist, Borden
town, n. j.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

PIsO'S Remedy for Catarrh is agreeable
to use. 1t is not a liquid or a snuff. SOC.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Business Men.

"BrFFALoEs are bred in Kansas, >, it is said
They are meat elsewhere.-BOstonP Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

Business Men.
The business man, practical in all things,
does not care TO lose sleep at night, that
would unfit him for business tho following
day, SO keeps Taylor's Cherokee Remedy Of
Sweet Gum and Mullen, which willprevent
Group and cure coughs, colds and cOnsump-
ton. Ask your druggist for it.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

If afflicted with Sore Eyes. use DR.. Isaac
Thonpsons Eye Water. Druggists sell it &c.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

VICTIMS OF youthful indiscretions, suffer.
ing from nervous debility, lack of self-cou.
fidence, impaired memory, and kindred
symptoms, should send ID cents in stamps
for large illustrated treatise. giving means
of certain cure, with numerous testimonials
Address. Worlds Dispensary Medical AssO.
citation, d63 Main Street. Buffalo. n. Y.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

"wHERE there's q will there's q way"-&u
break it.-Chicdgo Ledger.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
"Fr.il.y. thy Name l. Woman"

"Frailty. thy Name Il Woman"
-HoMlek
That she II fran. o ten IN body.
"'Tis true, tits true It's pity,
And pity IT'S. 'tis true"
DR.. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" 4
in women, or female weaknesses or de
rangements. By druggists Price reduces
to one dollar.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
March April May

Are the months In which to purity your blood. and
for this purpose there II medicine equal to Hoods
Sarsaparia. Il purides visalizcs and enriehes the
blood removing all Of ser0fula other disease.
Il creates appetite and impars new strength and
vgor to the whole body II II the ideal spring meti
cine. Try It this season.
"Itake Hoods sarsapariIla for spring medicine.
and md II just the thing. It tones mp my system
and MAKES me feel Ike different man. Ny wife
takes It for dyspepsia and she derives great benefit
from II. She says It IL the best medicine she
took" FRANK C. rulxKR, Hook Ladder No I.
Friend Street. Boston, Nass.
"when began taking Hoods sarsaparilia was
dizzy in the morning. had . headache. ard appe-
tite; but can hardly get enough cooked TO eat
EMMA SHEPARD, Coral Street. Worcester. Mass.
"1hsve used Hoods sarsaparilla in my family and
consider It . splendid blood purifier" J. p. WILD
SMITH. North 7th Street. Brooklyn, ny.
Hoods SarsapariIla
Sold BY an druggists. q; six for 8. Prepared By
C. !. HOOD CO. ApothecarieA Lowell. MasA
100 Doses One Dollar
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

IL another column of this issue will be
found an entirely new and no, 81 specimen
of attractive advertising. 1t is one OF the
neatest we have ever seen, and We thinK
any one will be well repaid for examining
the supposed display letters in the adver-
tisement of Prickly Ash Bitters.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

A SQUARE observation-disclosures Mas-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

the best thing to take before singing
Bresth.-PhilGddphi0 Col.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
,.CATARHS

nQ1eHSNe CAN BE MATCHED
OUyONeNS cheaper and better by using the
Excelsior Hatcher than when Hens are employ
ed to do the work. Illustrated Catalogues PRE- Ad
dress s SrAHL 4 son. Manufacturers, QUINCY. Ill
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

The telephone girl thinks that this Il &
hollow world.-Chicago Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

WE can not renew youth, but we can pre-
vent gray hair by using Halls Hair Re
newer.
Ayers Pills are a never-failing remedy
for headaches, caused by a disordered
stomach.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

Relieved at Last!

nj R0H0 Treated and cured without the Knife.
UcAXI.kk Book treatment sent free. Address
V00V8A F.LP0XD. ND. AurorA. Kane OIL
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

Thoroughly the blood which the fountain Of
digestion. skim buoyant spirits vital strength and
Medical all humors from the
poison Especially has it its efficacy in curing Satrhe
SweIings, Enlarged Glands, and Eating Ulcers.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
LIVER, BLOOD and LUNG DISEASES.

coated. etc.
en- Medical
ever was.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Hoods Sarsaparilla
100 Doses One Dollar

Sold BY an druggists. o.; six for 6. Prepared
c. I. HOOD CO., ApothecaYies, Lowell Mass
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12

duced to q skeleton, had q fearful
have consumption. While in this K
his relations. and while in distant
medicine called, DIR. Pierce's Col
took il, and by tho time IL was US
had been. When I saw him, he Il
health. His statement caused Ct
man of high Standing"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-03-12
Assess OF
LIVER.

half loaf of bread Well when she bega
using Golden Medical Discovery splitting
corruption and blood lit looked like what comes out OF bloo
boU for days. She has been well for weeks
B0ilS and Carbuneles.-J ADAMS. Esq, Toledo. Ohio
writes: have used bottles OF Golden Medical Dis
and the result to-day bois and carbun
Giles for the first time in many years"
Constipation and Clecrs.-MrS A. D. JOHNSON. George
The Golden Medical Discovery relieved
had bad the back Of left hand fO
five months and cured that well constipation and nges
ton, which was suffering very much"
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1886-12-17

II is now said that General Beaver
eutertains q strong doubs in regard TO
the eligibility of Thomas V. Cooper to
the Office of Secretary of the Common
wealth. It was announced two or three
weeks ago, by Cooper, himself, that he
had been rendered the appointment and
that he had accepted it. It seems. how
ever, dis it is alleged, th0t some Of the
Republican President Judges of Courts
in different sections of tie State. after
having carefully examined the question,
wrote TO Beaver that, in their opinion.
the Constitution interposed an absolute
barrier TO CoOper's promotion to the
place. As a result of these letters from
The Judges, OF from advice from other
sources equally entitled to respect. Bea.
yer has not vet. or at least had not ND to
Monday last, determined in his own
mind what he would do about the
matter. When "a doubt takes lodgment
IN Beavers mind as To his constitutional
right % make Cooper his Secretary of
State, he had better drop him and take
some other man whose right to hold the
office is clear and indisputable. This
course would clip the wings o. COOper's
ambition aud would no doubt be counter
to Beavers personal desires. but then
the letter ana spirit of the Constitution
would ne preserved, which is matter Of
more Importance than the political pro-
motion of Cooper or any other man in
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1886-12-17

AT the last session OF Congress the
Senate passed what is known as the
'CuiIom Inter Safe Commerce bill 8, 70
prevent discrimination by railroads in
freight charges and to correct other
injurious practices by railroad corpora
tions which are designed to rob and
Cypress the public. Judge Reagan. of
Texas, who has Ioug been member of
the House, bad a bill before that BODY
on the same subject known as the "Rea-
gan bill,'' which he has been endeavor-
ing for years to push through both
branches of Congress. When the CuIIom
bill came to the House from the Senate
and was taken up near the close of the
session. the House without anv debate
substituted the Reagan bill for the
Cullom bill, which threw the two bills
into the hands of a committee of confer
ence. Congress, however, adjourned
finally before the conference had time
to fully consider the differences between
the houses and the matter stood in that
unsettled way when Congress reassem-
bled on the 9th of December. The
conference then went 70 work at the
Two bills and last week succeeded by
making some mutual concessions in
reaching An agreement. and made a
report 10 both houses which it IS believed
vii be adopted with perhaps some slight
changes. The conference bill is com
promise between the CuIlom and the
Reagan bills. 1T provides - says, the
New York World, for a commission of
five persons Ito be appointed by the
President,) who shall hear complaints.
Investigate and enforce the requirements
of the measure. which are chiefly that
there shall be no discrimination between
persons and places, no higher rates for
shorter distance than a longer when
the former is included in the latter, no
pooling arrangements, and that the
rates shall be Published and not be ir-
creased in less than ten days notice
The Courts as we'll as well the Commis-
sion can be appealed to for redress To
this the World adds:
''Eild and reasonable as this bill is. it
will be stIenuOusly resisted. II it we're
not thus opposed it would scarcely be
worth passing. An adequate. reform
measure will bear heavily against some
existing interest that is adverse to the
public welfare, and this interest is sure
to combat It. But the principle Of gov
ernmental restraint must prevail in the
end. The people are stronger than the
corporations. The creator is greater
than the creature. The master should
c7mma0d the servant Aud it is high
time thas these truths had a practical
demonstration in the regulation of rail
way traffic.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1886-12-17

THE lower branch of Congress dis
posed OF some very important business
last week. II took mp aud passed, with
some amendments, the bill regulating
the count OF the electoral vote for Presi-
dent and Vice President which passed
the Senate at the last session. There
may ue seine difficulty in the Senate IS
20 the amendments 20 The bill nude by
the House. but the weight Of opinion ut
Washington is that q satisfactory agree
ment will evpu-ul.ly be reached. Sew
eral attempts have heretofore been made
to pass such a bill, the necessity for so
doug having been rendered doubly
urgent since The experience of the
country with the Electoral Commission
in 1877, which awarded .he Presidency
to HAYES. who was never elected. bu-
the concurrence Of both Houses iu the
same measure has ueveryeJ been secured.
1t is earnestly TO he hoped thas the good
sense of Congress viii not permit the
pceseut session 90 end n- The Alb of
March without the passage of this bin
in such % shape as to prevent trouula and
perhaps more serious results in the
future.