Smyrna times., 1886-09-22
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

i nave llO ICtI Ol WudL - CdllGu lOl
by the instinct Of mankind.--LOoUeU.
If the death of the last man finds him
a bootmaker, what will become of his
own sole?
Won't somebody pretty well up in
theology tell us whether there will be
any brass bands in Heaven?
If every person were half as good as
he expects his neighbOr to be, what a
heavenly world we should have!
Work is not mans punishment, it is
his reward and his strength, his glory
and his pleasure.-GeOrge Sand.
The Democratic party in Indian is in
a sad condition. Nearly every Con-
gressional district has its factional fight.
Richard could not tell who he was
before he was himself again, though he
was probably beside himself all the
time.
Wealth is an enemy to self-reliance
and industry. As soon as a man gets
a canoe he wants somebody else to pad
die it for him.
For you," he said, "I'd gladly die,
I've loved you well and long" The
cruel girl made no reply, she rang a
chestnut gong.
The fool who argues against the ex-
istence of true and everything God is
only pulling down the bridge that will
carry him safely over.
There is only one good substitute for
the endearments Ov sister, and that
il the endearments ov some other
PhellOw's sister-,JOsh Billings
An exchange is unkind enough to
perpetrate the following at the expense
of Charleston: "If Charleston does
not stop shaking give her some qui-
nine"
A great Republican majority and
five or six additional Republican Con-
gressmen from Ohio is what Congress-
man McKinly predicts for the Novem-
Der election.
Who says that the little ones are not
often required to fight strong battles ?
The bravest boy will quail when he ap-
pears i'll public for the first time after
he has had his hair cut by his mother.
Neal Dow will have to sit down and
revise his figures of the Maine election.
He predicted that the third party
would defeat the Republican party.
Foolish man; his party only pOlled
$500 votes.
At marble yard in Pittsfeld, Mass,
may be seen a huge oblong block on
which are carved the names Henry
4 g t. T.
will presently be placed over the
quaint philosophers grave at Lanes
borough.
When Connecticut heard that Canada
was making trouble for American fish
ermen she straightway passed a law
that Canada thistles should not be al
lowed to flourish in this commonwealth.
-NOTlUdlk Hour. But the law is a
dead letter, and no one is pricked by it,
There is a Domestic Servants Union
in Melbourne, Australia, the object oil
which is not to reduce the hours of la
Dor or to wiring concessions from their
employers, but simply to aid each other
in sickness and trouble and to establish
home for the use of its members when
out OF employment. 1t is successful
and has the sympathy of all right.
minded employers.
"I heard that somebody in thi.
crowd said 1 was a liar" clustered {
Fourth Ward bully as he approached
knot of men he thought he knew
Which of you was it ?"
a." 1t was me, l reckon" quietly re
marked strapping stranger from VI
the creek, as he whipped off his Goa
and proceeded to roll up his sleeves.
That's all right" continued tn,
Fourth Warder, keep on you
clothes ! 1 didn't say wasn't did l p
-1Ed-bitS.
The ritualistic St. Clements Church
of Philadelphia, has Just engaged a new
cholrmasteF named Lacey Baker, O
England. He is a graduate of St
Cecilia, of Rome, the oldest musica
college in the world. He has bee
Organist and chOirmasler of the Ameri
can Episcopal Church in Rome, anC
has held many other responsible posi-
tons. He wears in the choir, after tin
fn2l'~h custom, the pale blue hoo
i' marks his academic degree Ill
Is expected to introduce a great man
English customs at St. Clements.
ORTHOGRAPHICAL AND ORTHOEPICAL.
There was young man in Bordeaux
Proposed 10 girl who said neaux
Now all day She sighs
With tears in her eyes
Repentant for serving him seaux
glrl IN moment of pique
iiave her lover a slap on the chime:
Not word did he say,
But he left her that dav
And didn't go back for a wique
girl who had plenty Of beaux.
lrt, as we well may suppeaux
Met lover one night
Who kissed her on sight
And kissed her right square ON the ncau,
-BOstOn Cyitrtcr
Twas on the street canght h reye.
And then caught her fancy;
cOurted her year or two
Then She caught me, did Nancy