Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-02-28
BRIDGEPORT.

Our City Building and COuncil-A New
Craze-News Notes and Personals.
Bridgeport has city hall, jail and q
stone pile. The Jail contains two small
iron cages walled IN on two sides ~ damp
moulding stone walls containing 6smpness
enough TO give the poor prisoner incarcer.
ated therein, the quick consumption and
lmpartiDg to him an ordOr OF unwashed
miik-cans which he does not get rid OF for
weeks acter he is released from his dursncs
vile. The city hall sits on the Jail some
thing after the style of Billy Nu2um's plug
hat, evidently trying to get up a reputation
as an lmitator of the leaning tower of Pisa.
The city hall has quality in common
with the old centennial bell-it is
cracked. Whether or not 1t was
cracked by the eloquence Of some council
man, or whether the crack was put there to
give ventilation and furnish light when the
windows got dirty, is not clearly specified
by the records. The City Hall is used as
q council chamber, and there the chosen
representatives of Bridgeport's American
freedom assemble once every two weeks,
and for the space of 9 few minutes, ct
least, risk their lives in the sntideluVisn
structure. Your reporter never attended
one OF these meetings, but from the re-
cords and few verbal suggestions from
City Clerk Fisher, We judge the following
is about the regular proceeding
a At 1880, sharp, the Mayor takes his seat
On the chair With the good back behind
the once clean poplar table and wrapping
the drapsries of his official robes of dignity
about him, leans back till the moonlight
from the crack strikes him fairly in the
face and the fragrant breezes from the
flowery banks of Wheeling creek ceress
the curl OF his mustschio.
City Clerk Fisher takes the next best
chair, seats himself on the right, and goes
to sleep. Marshal McConaughy sits down
on the next best chair and watches his
chance TO put in his bill. The remaining
members of this august body disport them
selves promiscuously round the room on
benches. When all is ready the mayor
wakens the city CLERK and tells him, I'VE
are ready for business" and requests him
TO cali the roll. This over and q quorum
being found present, the regular business il
proceeded with, about as follows:
Mr.. B. from kirkwood rises, and after
expressing his many worded argument in.
forms the honorable meInoers that it
would be well to have another lamp on b
street, and that be thinks that surveyor
would find that the proper location for
such an irprovem mt would be
JUST IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE.
Here the member from E:naville rises
in a hurry and informs the august assem-
blsge that there has alresdy been more
money expended in Kirkwood than in his
locality, and that he thinks Etna.
Yi!le's prayer End her council.
man should be heard before
the community of taxpayers are imposed
upon BY the mogul from Kirkwood. After
a few explanations it is found that on the
Saturday night previous drunken Mar
tins Ferrian had fallen down in front Of
his (the Elnsville incubus) house because
there was no lamp there. Mr.. Kirkwood
arises aud states that he does not believe
| in putting up lamps to guide drunk men
| from other town, and after personal ar
pument with RtRsyills puts q motion,
ssking for q lamp in front Of both their
doors. This arrangement proving salts
factory 10 both, the mayor and clerk are
awakened aud vote taken and two lamps
ordered erected. Then q motion is made
TO declare the new gas works q nuisance
and abolish it, because 1t smokes and once
in awhile, when the wind in the north, il
dirties the clothes on Q KIkwood hne
This motion was lost.
| Toen o Bridgeport member moves ths
the honorable body in meeting assembled
do declare il unlawful to inter the corperea
remains of defunct animal Of the species
"viviand" within the cooperate limits o
the beautiful village. This motion is los
probably because Que of the Councilmel
teels that he would like to be buried il
town if for no other reason 30 that ate
generations might have the trouble Of re
moving him
Some one then wishes to creale an ordir
ance to cause all dog owners 10 muzzl
their CANNES and kill ali loug,haire
dogs for fear of hydrophobia. The mer
word hydrophobia, literally meaning
: dread of water, strikes terror to one Cour
: cilman's heart and the long haired dog
: clause causes another to vote against
60 tits lost.
The Mayor becoming tired declares Il
: session ended and the Marshal put out Il