davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16
FOR NEW YORK

FOE NEW YORK.
STEAMERS E. G. KNIGHT AND ...
JOHN GIBSON xEST.
every WEDNESDAY MORNING, and rerurnirc
leave Se% York, from pier A, East river, every
SATURDAY.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16

fsGiE undersigned in retiring ircIa thc Insurance
q business, which he has long conducted in
Alexandria c!ty, desires 10 tc,Ger his thanks to
the people Of Al"Xsndria for the generous support
given him. aud 10 hrSrcaIc fof il successor Il cor.
tinuauce o! The same II, cordially commcnfs
Nh Wariic!d to tie citizens OF 6!c. 4udria - 4
reliable and experienced Insurance agent. repre-
scnting substantial companies.
EhML. II. jA%EET.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16

0fSSt'-- eseeoi1tI'h pa!A w ioE EdFGlIC.
VIZ A. JOHNSON & Co.
WHOLESALE GROCERS.
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS
Aud Dealers in
ALL KINDS OF LIQUORS,
Have or hand G1BS0N'S Xxx, XXX, XxxF
snd PURE OLD RYE, OLD CABINET and
MONOGRAM WHiSP - also 2AEEP,S arG
THOMPSONS PURl WHISTLES "a y.hinh
they invite the attcnt!.. o! bic TRADE.
Orders from tins country Tor merchandise shall
receive prompt attention.
Conslsnments Of Flour, train and Country Pro-
euco So!ic!ted Ter which they guarantee the high
c5t market prices AMI aro.ngs returns.
Northeast corner IS Cameron AID I.oyal styaa..
seYl4 h.ro,,:ir;, -
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16

INSURANCE AGEECY-The undersigned Lav.
J ing become sole Owner Of the Insurance bust
ness formerly conducted by JaGncy < Wartcld,
informs the public that he will continue the saiao
under t name and style Of The cid iirin. at the
old stand, No 1872 King street, Aicxandria, Va.
where he viii be glad to his old friends and
others wishing to have their property insured in
good, substantial and reliable companies
decl cow 4 4 WAKEFIELD
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16

fUIlcURa PLAsTERs-Ncw and original,
ano vastly superior to any other plaster Tor
destroying pain wherever located ~ from Whist
ever cause produced, together with all the othe:
Sulcura Preparations, Ointments, Rasolrents,
Soaps. &c. just received at
APT Corner Princo and E.irfar .,s
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16

The steamer LADY OF THE LAKE will leavs
her wharf EVERY TUESDAY, THURSDAY and
SATURDAY at $50 o'clock pm. Fsre, first class,
So; round trip, $500.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16
DIssoLuT1oN or CO PARTNERSHIP.

The co. partnership heretofore existing between
the undersigned under the firm name ana style Of
JANSEI {; WAKEFIELD in the co:l3uct Of the
INSURANCE BUSINESS il the cit If aioxan.
dria and vicinity is this day dissolved by mutual
consent All persons indebted 10 tn; firm arc re-
quested to settle with Mr.. 4. j. #.tlip3d. .ho IS
authorized TO close up tho business % the part
nership. IA: J.. Il. ih%NEY
/. T. WAKEFIELD,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16

LoLlNA CORDIAL, SO extensively advertised
III the GAZETTE, also the Noina Cough Cure
liastcr:, Blood Pills, Soothing Baln, Vermifueo
QuIetins Syrup. Liver Pills, and Pain Cure, are
medicines prepared by a large stock company in
Baltimore. We prepared to supply tho trade
and country merchants 1T manufactures prices.
oct22 Z. s. LEADBEATER & BRO
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16
STEAMERS.

TOE NORFOLK ~
FORTRESS MONROE.
itls POTOMAC STEAMBOAT COMPANIES
tlrst-class steamer
vii, ,e,-o GEORGE LEARY
WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY, at $50 .. m. Re-.
turning leave Norfolk every Tuesday. thurs
Gay and Saturday, at 4 D. n.
Connecting at Norfolk with
BOSTON AND PROVIDENCE; STEAMERS
:, and Steamer ARIEL FOR RICHMOND
or further particulars enquire aC Companv,s
Office Ith Street Wharf, Washington, D, G.. or r.
PHILIP B. EOOE,
magI-E1 Agt Prince Street Wharf.
INLAND AND sEABoARn .o~<<-
( CoAsTING COMPANY -. ses;sasss=s,
GREATLY REDUCED RATES.
FOB FORTRESS MONROE AND NoRFoEg
DIRECT (No sToPs.)
The steamer LADY OF THE LAKE viii, ,eav,
her wharf EVERY TUESDAY, THURSDAY and
SATURDAY at $50 o'clock pm. Fsre, first class
So; round trip, $500
FOR NEW YORK.
STEAMERS E. G. KNIGHT AND ess
JOHN GIBSON mEsI.
every WEDNESDAY MORNING, and rerarnine
leave Ne, York, from pier II, East river, every
SATURDAY
FOR RIVER LANDINGS
The steamer JOHN w. THOMPSON will leave
EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY
MORNINGS for landings as far down as Leonard.
town, returning, leave Leonardtown every Tues
dag, ihursday"and Saturday mornings.
Tho steamers Of this company make connectiors
ST Norfolk Tor Boston and all points East ut New
FcrG y. :: al points West and Northwest ard ..
alszs'.l;"2~ with Virginia Midland Railway end
Was11S, g, and Ohio Railroad. Through rates
g:Vci, ar: freight handled carefully and promptly
For further information apply to
F. 4. REED s. CO., Agent,
Janney's whaSy
J. y. THOMPSON, President
14i6 street.
sop2I-tf Washington, D G.
CLyDE's STEAM LINE WE KY ~
PHILADELPHIA GEfH
appointed selling days FROM Alexa a IN.
EE1 TUESDAY and from Philadelph EVER.
SATURDAY.
This limo connects ut Alexandria WITH III. ,;r.
ginis Midland and Washington and Ohio rsilroasi.
and at Philadelphia with Clydc's reguls. Steam.
ships.
Freight forwarded with promprness ana ca.
free o. commissions.
no charge for transfer il Ph;la3eInhis Op4rt
Time Frequent departures. Through rates sr.'
through bills Of is6ins given Insurance. ~ q.
lowest ratts.
Agenta
I. !. REED & CO.. AIcyan6r;a
WI. ?. CLYDE & CO.. PHILADELPHIA,
JOHNSON & CO., Wash. q j:rore,';.
,3uS-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-16
HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS
nsNiE Tr%T.EG

=.
The a9h-"rbc! H&.:n .ai:~r charge ol this well
knowA n"tcl ana arat7uraN. informs his friends
ana the Hnhl:a generally tina; nuthng will hc
Ic'5 uAdoue 10 maintain the high reputation
o: the house The harder viii h1 supplied with
every Ce!ic&cy. and the ;ar stocked with the best
OF Liquors Meals serve! at all hours in The hes.
style ana ut reasonable rates. Arrangements can
be made Tor Exceptions or Dinner Parties.
apo SAMUEL ORRiSO,y
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
BY MAIL.

A Boy watches a Mysterious Proeeedi gg
and Jumps at a Conclusion.
In waiting-room were three or fl ur'
fond mammas and papas and their numer-
Gus direct descendants of both sexes The
children were all rastless-what child Ter
was not in waiting room and there WIRE
many narrow escapes from bad falls anI
bumps, the inevitable casualties of climb
ing and romping. At last one OF Che
youngsters fell off seat and struck his
poor little head against the stove, rem W.
ing square inch or so of epidermis from
his face. He was Immediately picked up
by his pa, his tears wiped away anil a
piece of court plaster carefully moistene on
the paternai tongue and applied to the
injured part. Then he was lifted to his an
cestor's shoulders and passed bodily
through the ticket window into the arms OF
The ticket agent, who was the papa S
brother.
ooh, man' exclaimed another youngster,
evidently from the country, who had
watched all of these proceedings with open
mouthed establishment; ooh ma! there S a
poor little boy who's going to be sent
through the mails. They justput q stamp
on him and dropped him into the post
Off &c. Chicago Herald.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
One Reason Why.

When a new business block is opened
the highest bidder for the stora-fronts
is usually a saloon-keeper; and 50 it
comes to pass that the handsomest and
most eligible new sites are beng rapid
ly seized upon for the alcoholic traffic.
We can understand how this is and
why the liquor-dealer can afford to out
bid all competitors and pay almost
any amount Of license, when we read
such a statement as the following, re-
garding the contents of barrel Of ale,
sometimes called, in one respect fitting
-ly,, ''the poor mans beer"
Albumen, one quart; malt sugar two
QUARTS deXtrne, three and one-haf quarts:
alcohol, seven and one-half quarts; water,
one hundred and tn rtJ quarts
That is to say, to get one quart Of
fiesh-producing alhumen YOU are to
drink one hundred and forty quarts OF
a mixed. bitter liquid which the natural
taste loathes; and when you pay fifteen
dollars for the same, ten dollars Of it
goes for the water When this comes
to be doled out in tive-cent glasses, the
wholesale and retail profits OF the bust
ness may be conjectured.-C Chicago
iSt011dGrly.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
Was Jumbo an Elephant?

Big and tall as Jumbo was. he had
not attained to his full size and was ex-
pected to grow for three OF four years
to come. He had grown considerably
since his arrival in America. His food
consisted of grain, bran, hay. vege-
tables, such as carrots or beet roots.
ETC.. and of these articles he consumed
between five hundred and six hundred
pounds per day He drank about three
barrels of water day. In addition to
his great size there were several pc
culiar physical features about Jumbo
which excited much curiosity among
naturalists, and led some eminent
scientists to express the opinion that he
was not an elephant at all, but that he
was allied to the old and now extinct
mastodon species. In his back there
was a deep hollow. where. in other
elephants, there was a large convex
curve, and his head was curved in a
marked manner where other elephants
are hollow. His knees. too, we're not
In the same place as are those Of other
elephants. They were much nearer his
thigh, making the upper part of his
leg unusually short and the under part
unusually long. Kent Eng Herald.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
TEMPERANCE ITEMS.

QUINCY, Mass, in the three years
that the liquor saloons have beer ban,
ished from the town, has decreased 1T
pauper expenses from $4,000 &c
$4,000.
SINCE his return home Arch-deacon
farrar has declared that the Temper
ance cause in the United States is far
in adyanceSof the Temperance cause in
England
A WOMAN named Mss. Clark, Of New
York, who is twenty-seyen years old,
was worth $1,000 two years ago. Re-
Gently she sold her stove for money to
purchase liquor with, and the next day
was arrested for drunkenness.
Mr.. THOMAS CoNANT mentions in the
Toronto Globe that an English Temper
ance society offers a prize OF one nun.
bred guineas to any one who viii trace
money down to the third generation
that was got by the sale of liquors.
The leading medical Journals have
taken up the popular superstition that
alcoholic beverages have cure-all prop
critics and are tearing it to tatters.
A hcy say b1dt dctual cApStsu163lb Has
demonstrated that the best results IN
the treatment of most of those diseases
which have hitherto been generally
treated with alcoholic liquors are
reached without the use of such stimu-
lants. The London Temperance hos
pital is said to have gwen alcohol in
only three cases out of 5000, and in
the last twelve years has saved the
live of 50 per cent. of its in-patients.
The man WHO finds excuse for whisky.
drinking IN the belief that alcohol i
good for what ails him viii not be
pleased to see these figures. ohicaGe
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.


Rev. Mr.. Sturgeon, the great Lon
don preacher, has recovered his health
and has resumed his duties at his Lon
don church.
Sam Jones says from Governor
down to dog pelter, he would not
vote fer man that touched, tasted or
handed whisky to save his life. =
Mgsonheiiner is the name OF new
boy preacher who has had phenom-
! email success in several Missouri towns.
and draws Ike Moody Chicago Jour-
nat
The daughters of the president Of
Princeton College walk twenty miles
to do their shopping. No Yum-Yum
/ toddle about these girls. M \. Trib-
une.
Miss Susan B. Anthony is said to
| be as energetic as ever ii her work for
| woman's st4-eee. 'sishe is straight
and graeaf sd Of her work and
| sanguias 81 ss."
Miss West. the oldest daughter of
! the British Minister at Washington,
J has this season taken the housekeeping
duties from the butler. She says: i
like housekeeping. One is so much
happier and better to be busy, you
know. -" Washington Post.
/ MIR. Charles Gayarre, the historian
/ of Louisiana, was well-grown boy of
/ fourteen when General jackson fought
/ the battle of New Orleans, but he Still
! occasionally publicly lectures in the
(tif-r del HI J.
| without the ais of eye-glasses.-N. D.
| Tsfaes.
! Miss Clara Louise Kellogg recent
! ly visited her birthplace, the town Of
Sumter, S. c., and gave q concert
/ there. On the arrival Of the cars the
members of her company arose in
their seats and disembarked, singin Q
Home Again. = in compliment to the
birthplace of the diva.-N. T. 1{qN.
The editor of the Steer Plume
Standard is trying to play solid with
| the queen Bee, by defending her from
the remarks of this paper. We would
like to observe the physiognomy of an
editor that would get mashed on Katy.
But we often see strange things when
we don't have a gun.-Conao (Col.)
, Headlight.
At Tampa, Fla, the other night,
General Harvey had reception from
his old comrades. Harvey was in the
Seminole war, and one night escaped
from his tent in his night-shirt and
saved his life by running at full speed.
Afterward the Seminole chief, speak
ing of his fast ponies, said they could
beat railroad train and beat any
thing except General Harvey. Chicago
| Times.
ELI Perkins, otherwise Melville
ID. Landon, owns two handsome houses
in East Seventy sixth street, New York,
in one of which he resides, and he re-
Gently bought two more in East Seven
| ty-eighth street. He has made several
successful real estate ventures. lis
wife, who was Miss Smith, a well.
known society belle, manages all the
details of his lecturing tours for him
and makes his engagements. She
sesses rare business ability, and mach
! of her husband S success is due to her
push and energy.-N. Y. Times.
1
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
THE cocKRoAcH.
An Editorial Friend That Sticketh Closer
Than a Brother.

An Editorial Friend That Sticketh Closer
Than Brother.
"The cockroach," said Josh Billings,
lis bug at large, and Josh's editorial
experience entities him to unlimited con-
fidence. Whether it is roach's taste for
literature or paste that causes him to seek
and roam at large in the editorial sanctum
has never been satisfactorily determined
Certain it is, however, that with the first
breath of spring he comes, and when in
November the water bucket in the corner
freezes, he is still there, and may be seen
any crisp morning clambering up it's sides
with club skates slung over his shoulder,
Or doing the ''spread eagle" on It's CLASSY
surface. Oft in the Silly night when the
midnight oil burns low, and the editorial
quill moves sluggishly, then the roach
glides from crack and crevice and strad-
dies the odorous paste brush, eyes the dis
tracted writer with a look which speaks
volumes, and which moves him to oaths
and paper weights. But is there Jour
nalist in all West or South who can truth
fully say that he ever hit a sporting roach
with a missile OF any kind? No, not one.
You may chuck, you may sling
The weights as you will,
But the festive roach VII
Ham, around Still.
st. Louis Whip.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
A Surprised Individual.

A man who was struck by lightning and
apparently killed showed signs of life
shortly afterward, and, restoratives being
applied he soon recovered. One of the by
ISLANDERS wanted to know how it felt to be
struck by lightning, and asked him what
his sensations were at the time the thun-
derbolt struck him.
Good heavensl" said he, "have been
struck by lightning?"
Certainly you have. Didn't you know
Gracious, no! I didn't have the least
suspicion that way"
"What did you think was the NATTER"
81 didn't know but I might have been
trying to kiss the hired girl and my wife had
come in unexpectedly. IN. Y. Mercury.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
HUMOROUS.

"A woman refused to give g meal
to dwarf the other day, because she
was opposed to dino-a-mite. Boston
Globe.
Young men who think their sweet
hearts are divine love to make divinity
students OF themselves every night in
the week. Merchant TrGuejar.
A subscriber asks for remedy for
cold feet. Try banking them up with
sawdust; if they still remain cold, set
the sawdust on fire. -Peck'$ Sue1.
Young wife. John, mother says
she wants to be cremated." Young
husband -.'Tell her if she'll get on
her things I'll take her down this
morning = It'd Bits.
Guest Bring me some smelt."
Waiter-''Wa have no smelt, but we
have Goldfish. ! Guest-'I want smelt. -
Waiter-''We sir, the Goldfish will be
smelt as soon as it is brought in. y
Chicago Ledger.
This china is all hand-painted,"
said clerk to q prospective customer.
THAT is perfectly proper, sir. perfectly
proper. | i've in a hand-painted
house." AND when the customer left it
just dawned on the clerk that china
couldn't well be painted by foot
Pack.
-''What is your full name?" asked
the magistrate of an individual who
had been absorbing more mountain
dew than he could carry. '.Same name
as when I'm sober (hic). Did yer
think | changed it (hic) when / took a
drink?" Sixty days Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
johnson Ito Simpkins, to whom
he has just been introduced) -''Who is
that dromedary dancing with that fe-
male giraffe?' Simpkins = '.That
dromedary is my brother. The giraffe
is my wife. = Johnson h-yes-
well-you must excuse me, but I am
accustomed to such terms. / am a
professor of zoology. IN. 7. San.
Architecture IN Maine-The owner
OF one of the houses saw a little girl
taking observations on the street the
other day, and entered into conversa-
ton with her. 80 yes," she said, II
like these houses, but my papa don't -
''Well, what fault has he to find Wit.
themP" ''He says he can tdrive through
this street because they brighten his
horse. Portland me. ] Transcript
- You see," said big school-bcv,
1.-THE way we fellows prove that if YOU
should lose your left eye you would be
stone blind. is this: You lose your Left
eye. Very well, then your right eye,
which is all you have, is the left one.
But you have lost your left one, and so
have no eye at all. and must, therefore,
be stone blind; don't you see?n The
listener rushes blindly from the room.
- Western Rural
"A magazine devoted to Horticulture
contains an article entitled: .'What
Can Be Found in the Winter Woods .
Among the list of monsters found
there are Hypnupa Crista-costreasis,
Botrychiuaa ta,aafiotdes, Gau5theria
procstnabe'as, and CHinaphtlo umbel!ata.
As long as these frightful creatures are
roaming at large in the winter woods,
children should not be permitted to
enter such places unless accompanied
By their parents and a shotgun
Nofristoecn Herald.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
lie SOD Housg Of Dakota.

passed it far out on the prairie,
The house of necessity born;
No lines OF its dinginess vary,
So somber, so dark, so torlorn.
It is bounded BY measureless acres;
Not fence or a tree is in sight.
But, though plain as the dress Of the Qrakers
IL STANDS Ia ne suns 5roadest light.
Ihe badger Gear by makes his burrow,
Inc EopAer his hilock of soil,
ana pSws, with their mile-len2ths of furrow,
G1 round 1t with infinite toll.
"A wel-curb, wash-bench, a woman
With poultry and pigs, are outside;
The clothes line is wondrousiy human
In look. and the vlsta~-hoW Wide
You can go to the sunrise or shutdown"
In straight lines. the left or the right,
And leagues OF long level are run down
Before you escape from its sight.
The roof is well matched with coarse grasses;
"A stove-pipe peers out to the sky.
lis picture whose plainness surpasses
All objects that challenge the eye
Twisted hay serves :, owner for fuel;
He twists it at ease by the roar
OF hav fire. which parties the cruel
Harsh bite of the wind at the door.
Sometimes in an ocean of color
In summer It's yellow or green
1T stands. In November duler
Broad carpet about it s seen.
in winter, while blasts from the prairie
Bring billiards" that cease not to blow,
IT'S as warm as an isle of Canary
Deep under the tempest and snow.
Joel Benton, in Hdrpef's M01dzine.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
A ReantifnI Play.

saloon-Keeper (whoss place oil business
adioins theater, to manager-Vot vas
dot next blay Won dot pili-poard, Mr.. Drop
curtain?
Manages Hamlet"
Saloon Keeper How many acts vas dot
Hamlet
Manager-Five.
Saloon Keeper with great satisfaction.
Five acts nit dot Hamlet" Dot vas
peaatifui biay Chicago News.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
"What is the NATTER"
JOURNALISTIC Drought.

"Here is copy OF our next issue 1t is
damp from the press" remarked Bill
Snort, editor of the Crosby County Clarion
and Farmers Indicator, handing the Wis
itor paper.
"Did you say this copy was damp from
the press?" asked the visitor
Yes
"Humphl It's mighty dry to be so
moist, remarked the visitor, after he had
read the paper little vhile.-Texas jSift-
mgS.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
Temperance in the Home.

It is from eight to sixteen that boys
begin to break away from parental con-
troll and the restraints of the fireside.
1t is then that they seem. to feel that
they know more than they who bore
them; it is then chat they begin to as
sert the liberty of the street, and taste
its decisions, It's vices and its crimes.
Said an English jurist Of great distinc-
ton: "A large majority of all the
criminals who are brought before me
have been made what they are by be-
ing allowed to be away from home
evenings. between the ages Of eight
and sixteen
What a testimony is this, dear
mothers and sisters! Surely one of the
most practical studies in this Temper
ance work is: How to keep the young
away from temptation, and pleasantly
and profitably occupied evenings
National Bulletin.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-03-05
Friendly Young Ladies.

Miss Clara discussing the church fair y
We are doing splendidly atnly table. Last
evening gentleman gave me ten dollar
bill to pay for two dollar tidy and would
only accept five dollars in change. Wash t
that nice in him?
Miss Ethel with a little cough Very.
Last evening gentleman gave me TWEEN
ty dollar bill to pay for some tritle and
went off without waiting for any change at
all.
Miss Clara with the same style of cough
Yes, l suppose it was worth that to him
to get away.-N Y. Herald