Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-02

ing-A Futile Effort to Secure Part of the
County Printing.
Last weeks Harvey Hooter did not
reach the Bell. We clip the following ac-
count of its failure to appear from the is
sue for this week:
DOES IT MEAN BLOOD?
HE HOTTER MAN READY TO FIGHT!-THE
PARTICULARS OF BASE
CONSPIRACY.
The reason the Hooter did not appear
last week was from diabolical and nm
journalistic plot on the part of the thinu
who disgraces the profession with dis
gushing attempt to edit our vile opposi-
ton sheet the Harvey Howler. The facts
of the case are as follows: Monday uight
we were awakened from a sound sleep by
heavy pounding Oh our door. We imme-
dlately arose and in the excitement of the
moment attempted to strike match in
the usual manner but were far from sue
cessful. While searching for another
match we suggested to our wife that she
go on to the door and ascertain
what the midnight marauders
wanted. She was no sooner gone
than the noise increased and they seemed
to be attempting to break in the door.
Having fears for the safety of our wife
we determined to step out of the window
and pass around to the front of the
house and put the mob to flight. No
sooner had we struck the GROUND than we
heard the slckening and hideous growl-
ing of dog. Instantly realizing the
danger from hydrophobia and rememb-
ering that family depended on US for
support we decided to step around be-
hind a neighbors house and throw the
brute off the trail. As we did so win
dow was raised in the house and man
in a hard, unnatural voice asked if we
were burglar. While we were stepping
back few yards the party in the window
uttered horrible howl and discharged
shotgun at US. The weapon was loaded
with fine shot and but few of them took
effect. We did not, however, approve of
the action and determined to 20 father
up the block. We went quite rapidly,
as we wished to have the matter over
with and return to bed, but the noise
had attracted the CHASTITY whelp of dog,
as well as the attacking
party at our front door. They
came around, and seeing our dim out
lines in the dark, gave chase. At this
point we should have turned and fought
man and brute, but were still in hopes
the matter might be settled without she'd
ding blood, and accordingly increased
our gait. AS the night was warm we ex-
perlenced no inconvenience from the
scant raiment. They were now in hot
pursuit, and thinking the walking might
be better we took the middle of the
street mr. 4Lo-
several windows were raised and some
very fine shooting was done at US, and
had we not been going at such rate we
would very likely have been moved down
several times. The firing was accom-
panied in nearly every case by fend-like
yells and whoops, all of which taken to-
gether soon alarmed the whole town and
moment later twenty large, ferocious,
man-eating dogs were at our heels. The
fire company was alarmed and came
6ashing up the street with the engine and
two horse carts. We saw that our life de-
pended on flight, and accordingly struck
up the gulch. Several cowboys came
across from the anchor outfit and joined
in the chase and kept up an incessant fir
ing. AS we tore up the gulch rabies in
fected dogs by the hundred, an insane fire
company and murderous and drink-crazed
cowboys continued to make the hideous
night grow sick as they followed close at
our heels. The goul-like grinding Of the
dogs teeth as they in imagination tore US
in pieces twenty times, was slcken1ng and
loathsome. Our wind was good and we
aimed to reach the foot hills and find
safety. Several times the dogs all but
leaped on US and bore US down to hor-
rible DEATH but we redOubled our efforts
and at last left them behind.
Baked of their attempt to drink
our warm life's blood, they returned,
uttering sepulchral barks, growls
and bowls. The cowboys and fire COM
pany also gave up the chase, and with
furious and blood-curdling oaths turned
back. We realized that we were not
dressed as custom demanded, and this.
together with other consideration, caused
us to remain among the hills several days
which accounts for the failure of
the Hooter to appear. We
spent the time concealed among the sage
brush safe from any further attacks from
the unholy band of dogs.
Since our return the so-called editor
referred to above has attempted to ex-
plain his call by saying it was simply to
see about getting some type we had bor
rowed from him. He claims that our
alarm was at first unnecessary, but we do
not believe it. It was simply base plot |
of his to drive as out of town so that he
might make another miserable attempt |
to secure some Of the county printing. |
In the future we shall go armed and here
by warn him to beware.
Young Statesman.
Pittsburs Dispatch.
Childhood driven into a corner, but yet |
persevering respect for the truth worthy
of the hero of the cherry tree story, is
often very diplomatic in the form of ans
wer it adopts to avoid the consequences |
of the anger it has in some manner in
CURED. A youngster who had accom-
plished its parents on visit to its aunt, !
extrieated itself from dilemma of this |
kind IN a very statesmanlike manner. A /
jar of preserves had effected very mys-
terious disappearance during the night,
and the fact was mentioned at the break
fast table the next morning. Denials of |
guilt came from eveTy side, but it was
noticed that this particular youngter was
silent.
4An5 what bavo Won tO saw CeOrOia - |