Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-10-20
Mnmorous 9epartmeat.

Positively DIsHONEST.-The following
story, illustrative of the honesty of the bor-
der American and the Mexican is said to be
true. 1t was related to the writer by a
we'll known printer, who declares that it
has, Notwithstanding its truthfulness, never
been published: An American ranchman
had employed Mexican herder. The
American owed the Mexican $50, and as
money was not very plentiful with him,
began to devise means Of cheaper settle
ment. One evening while the two men
were in the kitchen the American took
down coffee mill and said: ''This is the
most wonderful machine in the world. 1t
was recently invented in the United States,
and is valued at 500. See here? Instead
of having to crush your coffee with stone,
you put It in this way and grind it up. 1
never saw anything like it. Old man Jones
over here wants It so bad he don't know
what to do. Offered me 800 for 1t but
would not accept the Offer"
assumed an air of Indifference. The Amer
lean left the mill on the shelf. When he
got up the next morning he found tn" Mex
lean and the coffee mill had disappeared.
"You can't place any confidence in the
honesty of Mexican" said he. "That fel-
low was positively dishonest"
EVERYTHING FAIR IN WAR.-Jonas
H, Of Washington, Ind, toward the
q quarter-master, and after the close, and
when the quarter-master had been mus
tered out, as Jonas tells the story, he re-
quested him, as last service before part
ing, to take large box on dray to the
freight depot and ship it, asking Jonas at
the same time ''if he could read and write"
Jonas answered that he could not, start
ed off with the box, and on the way to the
station removed the shipping tag. which
that of the place the box was to be ship
ped, and substituted his own name and
address, and by that means obtained box
of new army blankets the quartermaster
intended to capture or steal from Uncle
Sam.
Jonas, who is fairly educated, said in
extenuation of this commercial transaction:
.Mr. Quartermaster captured the blank
cts from the government, and captured
them from him. Everything is fair in
war."-DetroI Free Press.
HE LOST THE COMBINATIoN.-Did you
see the Butchers parade 2" asked the Snake
Editor of casual caller yesterday after
noon.
eyes,"
'ssee that man throwing sausages at the
crowd?"
eyes"
"Well, never sausage thing before"
"Ha, ha, pretty good! I'll surprise my
wife with that when get home.
When the casual caller arrived at home
he said to his wife:
"My dear, in the Butchers parade to-day
there was man throwing sausages to the
spectators"
"Was there?"
"Yes, and never saw anything like that
done before"
''Neither did l."
He waited FIVE minutes for his wife to
laugh, and then went out to wonder how he
lost the mbination.-Pittsbny Chronicle.
HEROIC cSELF-SAcR1FIcE.-A young man
at the risk of his life saves beautiful
young girl from drowning. Her grateful
father siezes the rescuer of his daughter by
the hand and in voice tremulOus with
emotion said:
'sNoble youth, to you I am indebted for
everything that makes life 80 dear to me.
Which reward will you take-two hundred
( thousand dollars or the hand of my daugh-
ter?"
"Ill take the daughter" replied the he
roic rescuer, thinking thereby to get both
the girl and the money.
full father; ~ could not have given you the
100000 just yet anyhow, as have not yet
laid up that amount, being only poor ed
itor, but my daughter is yours for life.
Take her and be happy, God bless you my
children !''-Schalk.
The GIRL Was ON TIME.-At house in
Ohio, where minister was boarding, the
servant-girl was anxious to anticipate every