Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-20
BRIGHT BITS.

A YOUNG MAN Of Creston, Iowa, answered
an advertisement aud inclosed Soc. for re-
celpt to cure the appetite for liquor. The
other dav he received the following prescrip-
lon: Quit. Bee.
CONSTANCE writes to ask how many Alder
men there are in new York. Constance, you
should know that this is a irving time to pro-
pound such conumdrum. There are trains
going north out of New York every hour
Toaher'S Statesman.
"YoU can't expect a man Of my trade to
JOIN this strike" said q carpet-beater.
why not ?" asked the walking delegate.
because we are only carpet Knights, ana
we can raise more dust by working than loaf
ng."-PhilGdelDhiG Herdld.
MRS. DE HoBsoN (complacently)-Yes Mr..
Featherly. that is q portrait OF myself when
artist.
ngl-Er-one of the old masters?-Ne1o
York Sun.
Observation-Disclosures 1t have been nice if
BarthoIdi had taken some American girl for
mis- model OF the Statue of Liberty?
George-lt wouldn't have been safe.
why not. prayg'
IAN American girl always flies off her base
on the approach of titled foreigner, you
know."-OmahG World.
"AH, Mr.. Lawler." said a gentleman just
introduced to the Chicago statesman, Pm
glad to meet you. l understand you are the
great exponent of honest labor"
You are right-that's what l am" re-
sponded Frank, proudly. my motto Is
Labor with big L and Capital with little
K, all the time. y WdShiRgtoa Critic.
A CHICKEN lived, a chicken died,
Its drumstick and its wing were fried,
Its feathers by dealer dried
And, very shortly after. dyed.
Soul it had none; admitting that,
How comes 1t? There, upon her hat,
Its plumes-a mortal chlcken's-rise.
glorious bird of paradise.
-Detrpit Free Press,
my BROTHER" earnestly spake the GOOD
clergyman to the dying financier, do you feel
perfectly safe and happy ?"
Il do" replied the dying man family, 81
do
"You are on the rivers bank" said the
clergyman, solemnly, 'and"-
~ es," Interrupted the dying man, ~ know
it; and that's Canada on the other side, isn't
it ?'-PittSburg DisDdtch.
FIRST OMAHA MISS twho has been reading
the Colin Campbell divorce proceedings)S
The p ct TennysOn can say some awfully
cutting things, can't he?
Second Omaha Miss-I never noticed that
trait.
Don't you remember the poem about the
grand lady who refused bim?'
"Of course"
sd dn't he git back at her. thought"
"Why, not very severely"
"Severely! 1t was a fearful cut. He didn't
mince matters bit--but just called the hussy
- daughter of hundred earls.' Omaha
World.
A LITTLE FELLOW, who like most children
at the present time. is looking eagerly for
ward to Christmas, has implicit faith in the
generosity of Santa Claus. and has been
racking his small brain for some time to de-
termine what he had best ask the good old
man to bring him. One morning this week
his mother found him in the parlor, where the
fire had gone out, with the store door open
and his face at the aperture. saying: "Pleathe,
Thanta Clauth, bring me thed, a ps ir of big
wubber booth, thome candy, a thlate, and
mamma new dweth." "Why, Tommy"
said his mother, 'Santa Claus cannot afford to
bring you all those things, You should not
ask for so much. It's selfish" Tommy's face
clouded for moment, then grew bright with
an idea, and returni & to the stove he called
up the chimney; "Pleathe, Thanta Clauth,
you needed mind the dweth. p Bosto, Budost