davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
He Was Green, But He Got The Job.

"a young man from the country
came in the other day looking for sit
uation," said one of the managers of a
wholesale house OH Lake street. q
rather liked the boys looks and, after
inquiring about his mercantile expert
ence, his education, his expectation in
the way of salary, ETC., asked him if
he had any references.
:" References = he exclaimed. What
are they?'
"'Why,' l tried to explain, can't
you give us the name of some promi-
nent man in your town so we can write
to him? We want to make some in
quiries about you, you know
inquiries about me?' he reiOined
with an open mouth and in his frank
way; great jewhillikens, man, if you
want to know anything about me Just
ask me. / know more than anybody
else, and there's no use writing way
down i'll the country for that
You couldn't have any doubt of the
honesty of man like that, could you?'
concluded the merchant. 1.-THE bOy is
now working in our store, and will
make a success, too. Chicago Herald.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
Two Kind of Newspaper Readers

Did you ever see anything more
amusing than the absorption of the
woman over the marriages? An earth
quake wouldn't disturb her. She in
vests every couple with the romance of
her own cOurtship, and goes off into
speculatiOns on the groom's prospects
and the style of the brides outfit. As
for the etiquette column, that always
makes her chatter. Here" she saws,
" is the most absurd young woman
writes to the editor to know whether
she ought to 90 to a theatre with her
young man without chaperOne. I
remember the first time dear Henry
took me to theatre" and so on.
After she had waded through this
column she throws the paper aside,
and that night when her husband
comes home she tells how much she
was interested in the newspaper.
" Yes" he says, the papers are mighty
readable now. That was an awful
catastrophe in Charleston, wasn't it p"
His wife looks up at him and saws :
What was that, dear ?n "Why the
earthquake" "Was there one? Well,
there, that stupid old paper didn't have
a word about it." The husband goes
and gets the paper and shows her six
column article on the first page. She
had not seen it, of course brooklyn
Eagle.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
The COlored Brother,

ArkdnSdW TrdUeIer: "What was that
tall negro boy put in fOr?" asked a
visitor, addressing an official at the
penitentiary.
" Plagiarism"
"What Plagiarism ?"
" Yes, sir"
THAT is indeed strange. Is such an
Ottense punishable in this State ?"
Seems to be. That fellow was sent
up for two years"
" Tell me something about his crime. ~
" We'll, he went into a public library
and stole an armful of books"
" Yes, but does that constitute pla-
giarism ?"
"Of course, for is not that fellow a
literary thief?"
ArkdnSGU TraUeler: A negro, in great
pain, sent for physician. The doctor,
upon arriving. asked:
Have you been eating anything cal
culated to hurt you ?"
"Oh, no, sab, not er tall"
ANY fruit ?"
No, sab, not er tall"
Well, tell me what you did yester-
day"
Wall, sab, yistidy mormon went
down ter mer daughter 'Tildy's house.
She want at home, an | sot down ter
wait fur her. While lookin' er roun' l
seed er big watermelon in er tub o. wa
ter an tuck it out an eat it. Den ez
'Tildy didn't come I went Ober ter INK
Alb MOOre's house. Da wuz eatin' wa
termiliOn an j'ined in. Arter dis
went down ter de cotton war houses.
FOun' er ha'f er watermelon on er box
an ex it 'peered ter be suferin' eat it..
! come home bout dis time, but as l
didn' hab no appetite fur dinner |
went out an got me er watermelon.
Erbout and hour after dis ! went ober
ter Unk- Bill Gray's an hep 'em eat
some watermelon. Dat's erbOut all.
No, sab, didn't eat nuthin' ter hurt me,
lessen it wuz er couple er mushmilons
dat | eat las night. Hole on er mint.
Lemme see. Oh, vas, did eat erbout
er dozen o. billed con an erbout. er
hafer peck o. peaches"
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
The Reapers.

When the tired rcapers, with fragrant SheaveS,
Come out OF the corn, as the sun goes down,
And the sky is rich as the falling leaves
In crimson and purple and golden brown.
l set III the mellow and marvellous ewes
And watch as the loom af the sunset weaves
It's cloth of gold over country and town.
And think how the Summers have come and
gone
Since we saw the shuttle across the blue
That wOye the cOlOrS of dusk and dawn.
When the musk of the sleeping roses flew
On the wings of the south wind over the lawn,
And the evening shadows were longer drawn,
And the sun was low, and the stars were few;
When Love as sweet in the lives We led
As the heaven that lives in the latter spring
To grow in the flowers. the books we read.
The rOmp and rush of the grapevine swing,
In words and work, to be filled and fed
On brooks of honey and wasted bread,
And sung in the songs that we used to sing
And out of the shadows they come to me.
As flowers of the Spring come, year by year.
The lovers we had when to love was free,
The stars were few and the skies were clear,
And we knew it vas happiness just to be,
Through the sheaves of the cloud-land fair to
see,
While the weary reapers are drawing near.
Though the red and white roses have lost their
leaves
In the ashes of Summers Of long ago,
They come through the mellow and marvellous
ewes,
With the harvest of love that we used to sow
As rich as the garlands the sunset weaves
When the tired reapers with fragrant sheaves
Come out of the corn and the sun is low.
-UW Wallace HGr1ey tn HdrPer'S Magazine.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

He sat in one seat of the railway
coach, with his knees Outspread so as
to occupy the entire seat, while the
cushions of the next seat were piled
high with his baggage and bundles. A
mOdest--appearing gentleman walked
up the aisle and stopped opposite the
barricade, expecting, of course, that the
other would remove it. Vain hope
The fellow in the seat didn't care how
many had to stand so long as he was
all right. Finally, the modest man
tapped the fellow ON the shoulder, say
ing "I beg your pardon, sir : but I
presume you are going to the seashOreP"
" Yes" grunted his pOrcine intelOcu-
tor. "Then l advise YOU" said
MOdestus, not to 60 in swimming"
"And why not ?" why haven't you
ever heard that a hog cannot swim
without cutting his throat ?"-BOstOn
IrdnScriDt.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
Rrnne un.

You are feeling depressed, your appetite is
poor, you are bothered with Headache, you are
ndgetty, nervous, and generally out of sorts and
want to brace up Brace up. but not with stimu-
~ ,t SpTlhg medicines or 6ltlers, which have
stimulate you for an hour, and then leave you in
worse condition than before. What you want is
an alternative that will purify your blood, start
healthy action of Liver and Kidneys, restore your
vitality, and give renewed health and strength
such medicine you will find in Electric Bitters,
ana only 80 cents bottle at James p. Hoheckers
Drug Store.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

Colorado has 800 miles of first-class
irrigating canals, $500 miles of sec
Ondary canals, and 10000 miles of
smaller bitches, which have cost in the
aggregate about 81, 100000, and will
irrigate 100000 acres. The operation
of this great water system has devel-
oped conflicting claims of various ditch
companies in regard to the use of water
which is very difficult to settle.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

The Women's National Temperance
Union has drawn up petition to Con-
gress urging that in view of the alarm
ing increase of assaults upon women
and young girls, the legal age of con-
sent be raised, as is proposed in the bill
now before the Senate, to Is years.
The legal age of consent in Delaware is
z years. In New York State it was
only recently raised to 16. There are
100000 women representing every State
and Territory in the country now en-
rolled in the union. 1t is not decided
yet whether the petition will be sent at
one time, or whether it will be sent
in by each State and Territory separ-
ately, but it will be presented early in
the coming session of Congress.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

The Prohibition party in Pennsylva-
MIA is thus early in its career fighting
itself. Charles S. Wolfe is asked to
get Off the Prohibition ticket by the
WGtch-Fire, the organ of the party, be-
cause he was a leader in the Republi-
can party, and because he wants to be
a leader in the new party.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

The Crank is the name of a new pa
per in Summer county, Kansas, which
has for its motto "The elevation ofpub-
lie morals and horse thieves" These
are the principles: "Anti-monopOly,
anti-dyspepsia, Anti-pOlygamy, anti
fogism, anti-whiskey, anti-anarchy, and
anti-cussedness generally" Here is
one crank at least with level head.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
RuekIen's Arnioa SaIva.

The Best Salve in the world foF Cuts, bruises,
Sores, Ulcers, salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter,
Chapped Hands, Chilhlains, Corns, and all Skin
ETuptions, and positively cures Piles or no pay
required. lt is guaranteed TO give perfect salts
faction, or money refunded Price 25 cents per
hOx. For sale by JAMES p HoFFECKER
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

The Philadelphia NeoUs impeaches
the accuracy of the newspaper portraits
of Philadelphia. 1t is no longer a
Quaker City its window shutters are
not cream colored blinds; its citizens
do not all go to bed at 8 o'clock, nor
are they so very slow, but that they
can often beat the bunco man at his
own game. The Philadelphia girl
doesn't care so much about a grand
father as she does about some grand
fathers good eligible grandson, and she
can hook him just about as deftly as
the most skillful N'Yawk" " girl.
Finally we are told that Philadel-
phians do not live entirely on scrapple
and pepper-pot, catfish and waffles. 1t
is really too bad thus to demolish the
ideal Philadelphia, but in the interests
of truth it must be done.-N Y. Tribune.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

A prominent farmer of Bowling
Green, Howard County, nd, ]. T.
Ridgely, said his four children were
sick with sore throats and coughs at
the same time. Red Star Cough Cure
cured them in week. No opiates.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

The total number of cholera cases
throughout Japan since its first appear
ance this year according to the Japan
Gazette, is $1,000, of which $1,000 re-
suited fatally. The indications are
that the epidemic is now abating.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

Nothing takes Rheumatism out of
the blood and keeps it out of the sys-
tenn like Brazilian Balm.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

Baby falls and bumps its head,
BABY bawls, they think it's dead,
Mamma gets st. Jacobs Oil,
Rubs the baby; stops turmoil.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

Don't wait to let your cold and
cough wear of; it will be quite as likely
to wear you into the grave. Use Bra
lillian Balm and get rid Of it at once.
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
PgiTCG COLLEGE, Of Philadelphia, Pa.

THOMAS NAY PIERCE N A., Principal and Founder.
Items Of interest for the thoughtful:
Q) The Location in the finest building In Phila-
delphia an elevator, steam heat. special ventila-
tors, wgrdrObes, lavatOries and electric lights.
(2) The Course and Methods Of InstructOns.-
The personal experience Of the professors ana
the technical knowledge gathered by the PTinci'
pal as a court expert.
seVenty-nine (S79l students last year.
Business Men, Merchants and Farmers VINO
have had doubts as 70 whether n practical Dusi-
ness education could be obtained outside OF the
eOunting-rOOm have been surprised at the thor,
oughly practical manner in which their sons ana
daughters have been qualified for business en-
gagements at Peirce College Of Business, Record
Building, Phial., and arc now among Us warmest
friends Three Months, $40. Send for circular
THOMPSON, DEAN. july 2s-3m
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
WA. FAIRIES & Bro,
Furnishing UldGPtakHTS,
AND DEALERS IN
FURNITURE.
EAE STREET, opposite The Smyrna House,
Furniture of all kinds.

ParlOr and Chamber Suits. Bureaus, Bedsteads.
Chairs, Lounges, Tables Stands Mattresses, Spring
Beds and every thing in the Furniture Line, guar
quality Of goods ian off
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29

Fear is stronger than love,
Smyrna times., 1886-09-29
Il QUESTION ABOUT
BYO7Vm' S IRON
BzfteTS
AATC HEDED
AMS SWERED

stne tne question has probably been asked thousanda
Sbt y ttGw can Browns Iron Btters cure everv-
wen, It DOESN'T. But it does cure anv dieesse
I9t tWnlen reputable physician would prescribe IEOS
Enystoianb recognize Iron as the best resforativo
h8ent known to the profession. and induirv ~ anv
aeaunB cheinical hrm will substantats the aeserfio
tuete are more Preparations Of iron than az anv
OSIngt bnDstance used In medicine This shows con.
Sluslvey tnAt iron Is acknowledged to be the YnosA
Important factor in successful medical practice n
Ielnarkable fact that prior TO tbe dieoov.
SEyOt1 a aONlf'S IRON BIrrEIlSl no perfeot-
y saLlsIactoEy iron combination had ever been found
BROWNS IRON BITTERSdfsossis5 s5Ss not inja.s min
headache, or produce oonstipation-uiI other iron
medicines do. BROWNS IRON BITTERS
cures Indigestion, BiliOusness, We nlgness,
dyspepsia. MRlnria, Cbills and FeVerS,
SiFen + feeiings General Debility, Pain IN the
sldeS bnck or Limbs. II eadache and Neural.
Eia-for all these ailments Iron s prescribed daily
BROWNS IRON BlTTERS. .hos hSsgSTsT; sUsS; does IS :
9in9te Ike eu other thorough medicines It acts
slowly, When taken by men the hrst syulpton1 az
Renent is renewed energy. The mugolea then become
prmer, the digestion improves. the bowels are active
AZ Homen the eject is usually rapid and rnarkod
4ne eyes pegin az once TO brlght6n the akin clears
4p nealthy color comes 70 the cheeks: nervousnesg
plHappeaIsi functional arrangements become regu.
Jar ana r. q nursing mother, abundant sugtenanoo
II supplied Tor the child Remember Browne Iron
bitters In the ONLY iron medicine that ls not
injurious. Physteians and Druggisis recommend g.
The Genuine has Trade Mark and crossed rad lines
ON wrapper. TAKE No OTHER.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21
Near-SishteGaaeS>

Near ghtedneSs is increasing in our
country to an alarming extent. 1t Was
comparatively rare Il century ago, but
now it atfiicts a large proportion of the
children in our public schools. 1t is
one OF the evils created by civilization,
and is almost unknown in savage lite.
An official inquiry in Germany indi-
Gates that this evil is more common
there than in the United States, and
that it is the direct result of bad habits
of study. The physicians who made
the examination report to the govern
ment that in children of years old the
vision is generally perfect. During the
school age the defect increases stead
lily; in the lower schools from Is 90 per
cent. of the scholars are affected in the
higher schools the proportion reaches 40
to 30 per cent. 1t is far more worse in
the professional schools, reaching fully
20 per cent of theological students and
80 per cent. of medical students. The
physicians ascribe the trouble to the
poor print of the text books, and TO tie
general habit of holding books too near
the eyes. 1t might be we'll to make g.
similar examination in our own coun-
try in order that pubic attention be al
oused to provide, if possible, cure for
this growing evil. 1t is grave misfor-
tune if public education creates near
sighted nation.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21
Death i'm Boiling Steel.
Pail Mall Gazette.

1t is long since the newspapers re-
corded any accident so horrible as the
death of the Woolwich molder who
was overwhelmed by a cataclysm OF
boiling steel, and it is not often that so
strange a ceremony as the burial t
poor Moriarty is described in black and
white. The fact is, the poor fellow 10
now part of sixty-ton gun, in which
form he will continue to serve his coun-
try. Yet, oddly enough, he was buried
yesterday. For some ashes and frag-
ments of clothing were collected from
the ingot and shoveled into the coffiu,
which was followed to the grave by
what is called an imposing cortege.
This solemn but consolatory farce calls
to mind another case somewhat similar,
which forms one OF the CHASTITY legends
of Middlesbrough. A laborer had
tumbled head foremost into the fiery
liquid, and nothing of him was left.
But they ran coffin full OF Stag, held
an inquest over it, and laid it in conse-
Grated ground in the orthodox manner.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

The Baton Rouge Truth publishes
the following from correspondent
in Monroe, La, in regard to Messrs.
Harmon g. Voss, who are building
the Courthouse in Opelousas:
Among the many elegant court
houses built in the State during the
last decade, that of this parish, for
architectural design, well arranged
court rooms (of which there are two,)
and public offices, stands prominently
at the head of the list Messrs. Han
nan and Voss, of Baton Rouge, the
architects and builders, may we'll be
proud OF their handiwork in this in
stance, at least, standing as it does a
testimonial to the architectural and
mechanical skill OF your fellow towns
men.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

A political split has occurred in St.
Landry parish which will result in
two sets of delegates going to the Dem
ocratic Nominating Convention at Bat
on Rouge, both sets uninstructed as to
Observation-Disclosures Independent.
How did such news get over there so
soon, unless there has been some "nn-
dergroundT communication No such
been sent there that one will occur ?
Has the calling of Mr.. Estilette's dead
committee got anything to do with it :?
If the Democratic party of this parish
should split, and the parish should be
divided, where will the Democratic par
ty be then? There will not be a greasy
spot" left of it at the next election.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

The comparatively few individuals
who want this parish dismembered,
cut to pieces, hashed up, by zig gag
line, have never offered, or published
any reasons why the dismemberment
should take place. 1t would be the
sIieerest folly for the people in this
part of the parish to vote away over
six hundred square miles of territory,
thereby increasing their own burden OF
taxation and reducing their political
Importance in the State, merely to
crafty the unreasonable want of these
comparatively few individuals.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21
F. NJ. S..

In China the political policy of the
newspapers is directed by the Emperor,
and in consequence the editor does not
have wrathy individuals walking is on
him with club, or abusing him for a
liar and blatherskite in the opposi
ton paper. When a Chinaman does
not like the politics of his paper and
kicks up row about it the Emperor
sends for him and cuts of his head.
He also very often deprives the editor
of bis head when the political gossip is
not lively. There is no such thing as
the freedom of the press in China, but
after all journalism there is not SO bad
for the reason that a subscriber never
stops his paper for fear he may be sus-
pected of being reformer and get his
throat cut.-States.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

Mr.. Lastie Dupre died while quietly
sleeping, Of old age, at his home in
Plaisance, last Sunday night, aged 81
wears, months and % days. He was a
soldier in the war of 1912. He accumu-
lated a large property, and left numer-
ous descendants. He was noted for
Kindness and mistaken integrity. Prob
ably few men lived so long, and did SO
little to cause regret, either to them
selves or others.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

Some gentlemen from Rayne have
been in Opeleusas tins week, looking
after the Interests of the proposed
new parish. While we do not wish
them success, for numerous reasons,
We are glad they came. We would
like for them to canvass the parish
thoroughly, and urge everybody to
vote. We do not want to see the
question decided by defaults one way
nor the other every man should vote,
so there would be full expression
of the popular will. While we are
opposed to the creation OF another
parisf ont of this one, at the present
time at least, as we are in favor of,
or opposed to, any public question,
we have ne objection to the matter
being submitted to the popular will
for decisieR but we do object to
the alternative of advocating the
creation OF the new paris's. or of
keeping sigen ON the subject Ii the
gentlemen from Rayne have had per-
sonal promises of support from Ope-
lousas. let them urge compliance.
But Opelousas and Rayne have no
right to settle this question in caucus !;
it is question that concerns the
whole parish of ST. Landry. There
fore let the whole parish arouse itself
and vote on election day, which is
October 9th next
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21
JUDICIAL ADVERTISEMEN
nIBEAG SALE.
ESTATE OF FRANK &. ULRICH.

ESTATE OF FRANK g. ULRICH.
No. 1851.
PROBATE DOCKET, DISTRICT COURT,
PARISH OF ST. LANDRY.
By virtue of an order of the Honorable Dis
trict Court in and for the parish OF ST. Landry,
there will be sold at public auction to the last
and highest bidder, by the undersigned execu-
tor or any duly qualified auctioneer, at the
Courthouse in the town of OpelOusas. on
Wednesday, August 2jth. 1856.
the following described property belonging to-
the estate of Frank 6. Ulrieh, deceased, to-
wit:
certain tract of land being same purchased
as per act of sale passed before NJ. Voorh! IS,
Notary Public New Orleans. on the 18th day
of March, 1888 and recorded in the Recorders
Office, of the parish OF St Landry, and fronting
on the east bank OF Bayou Bnuf and contain
ing 800 acres, being partly in 70 X sec.
ton ) and partly in T "A l. sections ~ ana ~
One gun, one gold watch, one lot OF books. nlne
shares of Perseverance Hall Stock OF Washing
ton, La one iron safe and otner movables to
be offered on day of sale
Terms-CASH.
T. c. ANDERSON.
iuly 24-5t Testameutary Executor
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

Nine little Indians swinging on gate,
One drank iron bitters, thtH there was eight.
The poor little thing was killed by mistake
He was suffering with dumb chills and
an aching spleen, and an excellent ply
stefan prescribed for him Browns Iron
Tonic, but an INSCRIPTIONS post-tradcr
palmed off on the Indian Iron bitters.
Browns Iron Tonic for sale by K. Nj.
Littell.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21
N-OTICE OF TABLEAU.
ESTATE OF JOSEPH P. ROY.
No. 4725
PROBATE DOCKET, DISTRICT COURT
PARISH OF ST LANDRY.

Whereas, Maria louisa Cofeil of the parish
of St Landry. administrative OF the estate Of
Josesph p Roy, has filed tableau of classn-
cation of debts OF said estate accompa-
MED by hcrpetition praying for the homologa-
ton of same.
And, whereas the prayer of said petition has
been granted by an order Of court bearing date
August :, 1886,
Now, therefore notice is hereby given to all
persons interested to make opposition to SAID
tabeau, in writing, i'll my office in the town OF
Opeiousas, within the time required by law,
why the said tableau should not be homologa
ted and confirmed.
JAMES o. CHACHRRE,
auo IA 1ass.ot Clerk.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-08-21

The Washington Argus information,
and our information, in regard to the
willingness Of the white people to vote
for the new parish, does not cores
pond of course we do not include pro-
fessional politicians, nor others who
have "axes to grind" Election day will
decide.