Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-10-21
A MENTAL CONTEST
D.ack Buck and Yellow Jim Suea 10,
the Hand of Longheei Nance.

n.ack suck and Yellow Jim sued for
the Rand of Longheel Nance.
Black Buck and Yellow Jim were in
loVe with a girl known as LonobeeI
nance. As Nance was compelled to
work in the field she could only receive
company on Sundays; and thus. the two
FL rivals were thrown together every week.
Inc negro Is not as jealous as the white
man. Tor, having great confidence in
ms attractiveness and especially having
nigh opinion of his conversational inn.
pressiVeness, he does not think it posi-
Die that the object of his love can place
any one above him.
Last Sunday Buck and Jim met Of
Nance,s house. Arriving at the same
time, they found Nance sitting under a
cottonwood tree. The two men took
seats on bench.
miss Nance" said Buck, "yer is
iookin' mghty fine dis heah bright
mornin'-''
fes," Jim broke in, sit is err fine
mawnln bat | think dat we'll hab. err
shower fore night
Buck, giving him look of contemnt
sa'd: Look heah, man, amt verse'f
got no better sense an manners dem tor
talk erbout de wedder when er oenner-
man is compermentin' er ladv? Wv.
sab, Use ershamed o. yerse'f. IF YER
amt got education an elerouence ernuff
ter talk ter er lady o. fashion. Wv. de
bes plan is fur yer ter keep yer mouf
shet. Doan yer think so, Miss Nance2''
Law, me. Mr.. Buck" the girl re-
piled, Il KANT settle SIGH fine % nts ez
dem an hopes dat yer'n not call on
''De lady am got too much sense ter
De korch wild SIGH foolishness,' said
Jlm use knowed her er laune time
an has allus zerved dat wheneber she
opens dat putty mouf O. hearn good
sense dressed in the clothes o. fine talk
walks OUT
The girl smiled and Buck, not pleased
with the situation. turned to Jim and
said
.'She's er edycated lady, sab, an
KANT hep talkin' sense trimmed on de
edges wild Ge bright ribbons O. eler-
quence. Now, git erway wild dat err
mark an I'll gin yer my hat.''
The girl laughed and Jim, moving
uneasily, said; 'It takes er good man
ter shock me case whit I hatn't read I
hab lissened ter when de white folks
talked it Off. Use er good ledge O. sense,
specially 'mong de ladies, an hab
noticed dat when Miss Nance wants ter
say suthin' she opens her mouf an er
hummin' bird o. wisdom, wild his bill
full O. honey, flies out
The girl clapped her hands Buck
took Of his hat, put it on again, raked
the perspraton from his forehead, and
remarked: II don't blebe dat no pus-
son hab cher tuck me fur er fool, fur
when | worked on er fiat-boat l wus
soc ated wd genermen O. high sense
an fine un' erstan'i in. l so fur gained
de 'spect o de crew dat when any O de
men wanted ter pick out er wife da
allus tuck me er long ter see eff de lady
wuz smart. In dis way had er chance
ter jedge er heep o ladies, an l foun'
some O. 'em powerful smart, but Ineber
foun' one dat had ez much sense an
l'arnin' ez Miss Nance, here. Wy
when dis lady talks, gold pieces wid
fine lanwidge printed on 'em falls
outen her mouf, an de mockin' bird,
hearin' sweeter notes den he ever hearn
befo', comes an hops er roun', hopin'
ter ketch some O. de soun'."
The girl shrieked with delight Jim
arose, stretched his legs, sat down again
and remained quiet
Come ergin,' said Buck.
Neber mine," Jim replied. "Keep
on er tellin' me ter come, an I'll come
arter while wild suthin' dat'll take de
bark off'n yer. Miss Nance, Use got
suthin' mighty 'portant ter say ter yer,
an would like ter say it when nobody
but yerse'f could heah it, but ez dis i'm
perlite generman an scoun'rel won't
gin me er chance, I'll halter say it now.
Fur er laung time Use been might lv in
lub wild yer. an now axes yer ter be
nv wife. l amt er rich man, but ken
work, an yer'll neber want fur muffin"
"'Cept er husban'," Buck broke in.
Now. Miss Nance, yer's hearn whit
dis WALLER Niger hab had ter say, an it
is now time ter lissun ter er generman.
/ hab dubbed yer fur er laung time mer-
SET, an / doan blebe dat ken lib wild
out yer. Now, whut yer got ter say ter
de propositionP'
sMr Buck" the girl replied, 81
'spects yer fur yer greet farnin'. an /
knows dat yer ;spects me fur dis fine
piece o. Ian whit my daddy lef' me.
Yer said suthin' jis' now bout gold
comm out o. my mouf, an Use er
feered dat eff wuz ter marry yer, yer'd
'spect me ter spit gold all de time.
Jim, heah. is er ignunt sort O pusson,
an amt able to take care o hisse'f, so
b'lebe I'll marry him. Good day, Mr..
Buck"
Jim jumped up and threw his arms
around the girl Buck looked at the
performance. and, turning away. said:
Use seed er heep er sick niggers in
nv time. an had seed er few fools.
but eff desc niggers amt de biggis' fools
I eber seed, wy den ole Nick is wei
come ter me at any mint. Nance, Use
gwine ter charge yer up wild de time
Use spent wild yer. n-ArkansaU Irar-
eker.