The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1886-01-14

udu, IKE TO nave S0aiSktn SaCque
for Christmas"
"Cannot afford it, my dear. You will
have to be more moderate 10 your de-
mands."
will do"
Sorry | cannot give you that"
Then I'll be content with a new coat
trimmed with plush"
so, do be more reasonable"
"Then what will you give 2"
"Why, | was thinking that new $l.50
gossaner would suffice. You can make
warm garment out of that, you know,
by lining it with old flannel skirts. That
Will do tirst-rate for rainy days, and you
can stay at home when it is dry. tell
you, times are very dull and great econo-
my is necessary"
That very night this very economical
husband lost $3.50 betting on the wrong
poker hand
Truly, economy is the royal road to
wealth.
The municipal census taker was
around taking names and pulled the bell at
Blffstick's, and Bliff came to the door,
He was put through the usual formula,
and finally the censuser asked the age of
his wife.
"Cao't tell" responded the husband.
"Can't tell p echoed the questioner.
"Why? Don't you know ?"
"Of course do"
'Then you must tell me, the law says
you must"
"The law! What law?
"The law of the State.n
"What will they do with me if l don't
tell?'
"Put you in Jail for contempt"
Cali right; put me in Jail"
Why, man," exclaimed the astonished
official, "you won't go to Jail and suffer
rather than tell your wife's age, will
you?"
swell, yes" he said resignedly; 'T've
did tell my wife,s age"
-Angelina-Mr. Snoopkins, / have
heard that you are engaged.
Augustus-Why, what an idea! But
hear that you are.
Angelina (blushing)-Nonsense! Peo-
pie are so absurd.
Augustus-Aren't you, really? Pm
very glad to hear it.
Angelina-Really?
alphabetically. (After pause) /
say, don't you think it would be nice
Angelina Ter couragingly)-Yes.
Augustus-I was going to say, don't
you think it would be nice to 90 out and
get some oysters?
Angelina (snappishly)-No, hate'em.
-Wife-you muttered in your sleep
last night.
Husband Tin alarm) What did say ?
Wife-You kept repeating +" that's one
horse on me,"" a." that's two horses on me -
over and over again.
Husband-Evidently case of night
mare.
The western editor who put the head
Natural Gas " over the proceedings of
woman's rights convention, was con-
veuiently out of town" when commit
tee of ladies wearing spectacles and re-
vengeful expression called to interview
him.
Wife" Aren't you going to eat your
pudding, dear ?" Husband (poking it dis
paragingly with spoon)-"f It would kill
me to eat that mess of indigestible stuff"
Wife" know it's not very nice, but vou
had better eat it, dear. hate to see it
wasted"
-"Say, Jim," said one gamin to
another Il got box of boss linen collars
for Christmas present, from mother.
Bet you didn't get any" "Well, no, but
the old man gave me few cuffs this
morning"
| AT the club: De Jones yawns and
stretches himself.
Van Brown-Tired, dear boyP
De Jones--Aw, beastly.
Van B.-Up late, eh9
De NAV. Been thinking.
=" Robbie" said his father, syou,ye
sat there looking out of the window and
haven't moved a muscle for 35 minutes.
Now, why couldn't you sit still that way
this morning ?" g Sit still this morning Ps'
echoed Robbie, in amazement. How
could sit still this morning? Twas
| in church ~
| Key West Democrat. We were mistaken in
calling Boccolando, the man who shot himselfand
| wife, Cuban. He was Spaniard. Our hot.
blooded citizens Of Cuba and Spain do not like
to be called out Of their Names We do not
wish to make any Of them angry, more especially
since events are Tipening which we believe viii