The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1886-10-07
Brevities.

Since the earthquake we are beginning to
suspect that the south is not as solid as repre-
sented. Philadelphia Call
Somebody who has nothing better TO do adj
vertises 'Clothes without buttons" We have
all had them. But why parade them thus os-
tentatiously Washington Post
Conductor on Vermont Railroad
isn't that boy old enough to pay full farel
Lady-He wasn't when he started, but
guess he is now.-Boston Herald.
"Auch That horrid man stepped on my
big toe" "My dear young lady, that is i'm
possible. How can person having such a
beautiful little foot as you possess big toef
Berlin Times.
A magazine in New York announces that
its series of war articles will continue through
the ensuing year. The literary magazine of
the period has become powder magazine
Chicago Times
Young Wife who In trying hard to be prac-
ticaD-I see eggs are frmer, according TO the
market reports. Husband-Yes, my love.
Wife-That means that they are hard boiled
doesn't itl-Boston Budget
The superiority of man to nature is contin-
ually illustrated. Nature needs an immense
quantity of quilts to make goose with, but
man can make a goose of himself with one
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
With the two biggest insurance companies
in the territory and fourteen churches in ac-
tive operation, Sioux Falls ought to be able
to reduce loss or damage by fire here or here
after. Sioux Falls ID. IT, Press.
rural contemporary writes feelingly on
"How to Treat an Editor" A good rule is to
follow the example of Col Crockett's finest
gentleman-in- New York: Hand him the de-
canter and turn your back.-Bulfalo Express.
The captain of the British yacht GaIatea is
named Hem. Aha Henn-batchway-lay
to-lay two; henn-hatchway-la to-la-
1t strikes Us there is a pun there somewhere,
but hanged il we can twist il into proper
shape.-Drake's Magazine
"Can you tell me, my dear" said hus-
band to his scolding wife, "the difference be-
tween your mouth and a court house doorp
mo, sir, can't" "WeIl then, you had bet
ter have one or the other Of them closed so
that other people can tell the difference even
if you can't "-Newman Independent
"Well, skipper, you warmed 'em nicely"
said an enthusiastic yachtsman to one Of the
yellow-mustached crew Of the Mayhower af-
ter the race. "Sure, said the sailor. "Der
British neffer vas no good py ter Yankee sail
ors alongside, alretty.-New York Sun.
A travelling theatrical company in this
city about to take the road with piece that
requires red-haired girl, not necessarily
handsome, advertised for such, and got not
single answer. The next day they advertised
for an authenticated beauty and the office
was crowded with red-headed girls ugly
enough to scare a gorilla Exchange.
Two women approached each other from
opposite directions yesterday on Seventh
street. One was looking into the shop win
dows and the attention Of the other was at
tracted TO the opposite side Of the street. They
collided. Both looked around with frown
and, glaring at each other, said: "You
clumsy thing, do you want the earthr' A
little further down the street one of the
women collided with smart looking young
man. When she saw it was man that had
brushed against her she smiled and said: II
beg pardon in her most insinuating tone.
He replied, as he tipped his hat: Don't mem
ton 1t, please" The close student of human
nature will observe that this story is true
St Paul Globe.