davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
On "Letting 1t Al0ne."

Says the Leeds, Eng.) Mercury: There
is nothing in which men do more wisely,
when they agree to act upon the princi-
pie of letting things alone, than when
they apply this rule to the slanders and
misrepresentation which are directed
against themselves. If only they can
possess their souls in patience, and sit
down in quictness and self-control when
they are misunderstood or misrepresent-
ed, they may rest assured that they will
gain much more certain and easy vic
tory than if they insist upon doing battle
with all whom they regard as their enc
mics. The truth is great, and it will pre-
vail, says an old proverb. One may go
further, and say that, after all, the truth
hardly needs to be helped by us. 1t will
make its way by its own weight; it will
prevail by reason of its own strength. So
when the angry storm of SANDER RACES,
when jealousy has begotten fierce and
bitter passions which in their turn have
armed themselves with cruel weapons of
falsehood and malice, the wise man will
learn the wisdom of letting things alone.
Let the storm blow past; but do not
bruise yourself in fruitless attempts to
hurl back the remorseless blast. Leave
it alone, and it will shrek around you
harmlessly, and by and by the hurricane
will have blown itself out, and you will
be exactly where you were before it be-
gan to rise-that is, provided you have
had the wisdom to let it alone.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
HUMOROUS.

The spring-time of life-When You
discover a bent pin under you.
Can man be called temperance man
of long standing who wears tight shoesl
"Struck down." as the barber said
when he shaved the first crop of fuzz
from youths chin.
"Say, waiter this beefstead looks as if
it had been hammered on an anvil"
eyes, sir, we buy it by the pound"
'tIf cannot have the fat of the land
can take little lean," said tramp, as
he rested his shoulder against lamp
post.
The wealth of our language is shown
by the fact that chang it up" and
."chalk it down" mean precisely the same
thing.
Playwright-Do you think my new
tragedy will survive first performance
Critic-Your tragedy-may be; the spec'
tators-hardly.
1t is said that a person who eats onions
will keep a secret. But such a person
cannot keep secret the fact that he has
been eating onions.
Uncle George-"And so you go to
school now, Johnny2 What part OF the
exercises do you like best9" johnny
"The exercises we get at recess"
"Yes, gentlemen" said the barber,
"we are standing on free SOIL" "No,'
you're not" said the shoemaker, ''you
are standing in shoes not paid for"
A little girl, busy in making pair Of
worsted slippers, said to a young COM
panion near her: "You are lucky, you
are. Your papa has only got one leg"
There is not so much difference be-
tween restaurant and cattle barn as
one would at first suppose. The former
has many tables, and the latter has its
stables, too.
Farmers are pouring into Western
Texas so fast that ranchmen have just
time enough to move their cattle out and
prevent their tails being chopped off by
the advancing hoe.
A school board recently asked the fol-
lowing question of a little girl: "What
is the plural of man?n Men" "Very
well; and what is the plural of child3"
'Twins," Immediately replied the little
girl.
During recent cyclone in the West
"a church was lifted to height of thirty
feet" The members of the congrega.
ton were deeply chagrined when they
saw their edificc become high church
so suddenly.
Grandpa-''Tell me, Ethel, why do
you have six buttons on your gloves2"
Ethel-"Yes, grandpa, DEAR will tell
you. The reason is, if had seven but
tons or five, they would not match tho
six buttonholes"
'NWhat do these letters stand forf
asked curious wife of her husband, as
she looked at his Masonic seal. "Why,
really, my love-" he replied encourag-
ingly, 81 presume it is because they can't
sit down" She postponed further ques-
tioning.
"Oh, mamma, you'd be surprised to
know how dumb Bessie Barton is! She
took me into what she said was the
apiary. What do you think ] saw
there2" 'I don't know, dear" "Why
nothing but lot of beehives. There
were no apes there; not even monkey"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11

was Mr.. Boggs. Little Simeon thought
the inevitable had come, and he sprang
to his feet to sell his life as dearly as pos
siblc. But Mr.. Boggs threw up his
hands and said imploringly;
"Don't strike me, Mr., Mixw
"Mr. Mixw exclaimed little Simeon.
"The poor fellow is crazyW
Then Mr. Boggs went on to say that
he wanted to go to work; that b ..a
be happy outside the Beacon Ii
"Well, Boggsy," said little 81 -.,
without start, 81 guess we cal "s FH-
sit. Come around after you v
plasters off. There's lot of w "
around this Office, and I'll put ,.n sn -..
ting it up. And say, Josh, if y, .I".
you'd like to do something to d n,1
a roller to wash, and Billy's b' .e
might tackle that"
"All right, Mr.. Mix" said the con-
qucred Joshua Boggs, and he went
in and washed the rollcr
Little Simeon Mix ran the Beacon
Light after that. The publication day
was changed back to Tuesday, and the
paper went to press regularly every Mon
day night Mr. Boggs was always Josh
or Boggsy to little Simeon, and little
Simeon was always Mr.. Mix to the de-
throned dictator. Little Simeon married
the blacksmith's pretty daughter, and
Mr.. Boggs invested three weeks salary
in wedding present for the bride.-Ed.
| Mott in the Journalist.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
Greek Burial Customs.

A correspondent at Athens gives an ac-
count of many curious burial customs pc
culiar to Greece which lately came under
his notice. A piece of linen as wide as
the body, and twice as long, was doubled,
and hole large enough for the head cut
out of it. In this the body was wrapped
and then dressed in new clothes, and
more especially new shoes. Beneath the
head was placed a pillow full of lemon
leaves. In the mouth was put bunch
of violets and around the temples a
chaplet flowers. These are used only for
for the unmarried, and must be white.
Both head and feet were tied with bands
made for the purpose, which were un-
loosed at the edge of the grave when the
coffin was about to be closed. A small
coin "a relic of the fee to the ferryman)
was placed in the palm of the hand. At
Athens sou is dropped into the coffin.
The greatest attention is given to this
point In removing the body the feet al.
ways go first. A priest came on three
successive days to sprinkle the roo>s
fumigate it and repeat certain prayers, as
for that period after death it was sup
posed to be haunted. After burial
women are hired to keep light burning
over the grave until the body is supposed
to be decomposcd. To assist this, the
bottom of modern Greek cofiins is of lat
tice work. Every Saturday the poor OF
Athens place on the graves of theiI
friends eatablcs of the sort they used tc
| like. .-.Sunbedms.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
She Was Satisfied.

''Doctor," said an old lady to her phys
ician, '1kin you tell me how tits some
folks are born dumb?n
"Why, certainly, madam" replied the
doctor. at is owing to the fact that
they come into the world minus the pow
er of speech"
'La, myr' exclaimed the old lady
''now just see what it is to have a physic
education. I've axed my ole man hun
dred times that air same thing, and all
that could ever get out of him was,
kase they sln
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
A SkillTuI Flaltercr.

Bob Van Slyck called on Madison
avenue family, in which there are two
old maiden sisters of about fifty years of
age. Van Siyck is an old friend of the
family and one of them beingin banter
ing mood said:
''AIr. Van Slyck. which of us do you
think is the oldestl"
Van was in dilemma lie did not
like to hurt the feelings of either. He
looked from one to the other, and asked
'You want me 10 say which of you
two girls think is the oldestln
''Just so.
"Neither of you looks older than the
other. Each one of you girls looks
younger than the. other. .'-SvtiHgs.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
PRICE THREE CENTS.
The Wonderful Weaver.

There's a wonderful weaver
High up in the air,
And he weaves a white mantle
For cold earth TO wear,
With the wind for his shuttle,
The cloud for his loom,
How he weaves, how he weaves,
In the light, in the glooml
Oh! with the finest of laces
He decks bush and tree;
On the bare, fiinty meadows
A cover lays he,
Then a quaint cap he places
On pillar and post;
And he changes the pump
To a grim, silent ghost!
But this wonderful weaver
Grows weary at last;
And the shuttle lies idle
That once flew so fast.
Then the sun peeps abroad
On the work that is done;
And he smiles: "I'llunravel
1t all, just for fun"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
A SnnerhnOuS Female.

The surplusage of females in the pop
ulation of Massachusetts, is constantly the
cause for annoyance. 1t was at a juven-
lie party the other day that a mother
noticed her five-year-old daughter had
not joined the march to the refrcshment
room.
"Why did you not go in with the
Other children, my dearl"
''BecaNe l could not find any little
boy to hold on to, was the wall Of the
ingenious unfortunate e.-LoiceU Citizen.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-02-11
Ono Star.

One star upon tho brow of Night
Ono star, one only gem
Cleans like jewel rarely bright,
Upon q queenly forehead white,
In royal diadem.
One star upon the brow of Night
Is all that grcets mine eyes,
As, from lonely mountain height,
! sit and watch the crimson light
or sunset leave the skies,
--Anna IT. Carpenter in CasseH
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
PERSONS AND THINGS.

Miss Phoebe Hall is attracting attention in Bal
timore evangelist. She was formerly a pros
porous miiner, but having been converted decided
that there something better than dealing in
furbelows, and so decided that her duty was 10
preach the Gospel and she is doing it in an accept
able manner.
Henry Watterson writes that the traveller in
Switzerland Is struck at once with the beauty of
the country and the ugliness of the women The
women appear to do all the work. 10 j.. not un-
usual to girl and a dog hitched to a cart and
trOtting along together like pair of ponies. The
men. great strapping fellows, idle and lazy loaf
about the brnsseries. Their wives daughters and
sisters till the fields and supply the markets
IL Is a matter of gossip that Mrs Victoria Nor
osni-Sehiling Is growing very tired OF singing at
the Casino To make living for herself and her
man to take her abroad if she will give up her
spouse and leave HIM fOF good is more tempting
now than Il when love was younger If Vie
toria can make man of Schilliug she evidently
made IA very bad mistlsSe in her choice
A Wall street operator informs a reporter that
there female brokers, and very few specu-
lating women. The only way women figure in
Wall street il as employees. Armies Of them work
clerks and y writer's They are said to have
n good effect business, because men behave bet
ter when they are around.
Young women who fancy that horse back riding
must be learned In childhood are reminded that
the Empress of Austria, who IL one of the most
ccOnplishCd horsewOmen in Europe, never rode
much I'LL comparatively late IN life. Her Majesty
Is said to be able to ride standing on q bareback
horse with the ease and grace of professional.
- Even in Massachusetts, where there are 6OGCO
more women than men. great difficulty is expert
enced In securing maid-servants and washer
women IL is claimed that the girls are spoiled for
houseWOrk by uabbliug in literature.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
SCIENTIFIC CHAT.

Magnesium, which has more than once been
abandoned "A source of light. appears likely 70 be
employed again, process having been discovered
for producing pure magnesium by electFoiyss. and
at price much less than that at which it was for
meriy obtainable. AT the works in Bremen where
the manufacture of magnesium is carried on prizes
offered for the construction Of the best magne-
sium lamps having eockwork movement.
- Accounts are given In the German technical
journals Of some interesting experiments which have
been made, and 1t wOuldappeaT with success in the
employment of paper IN piano construction. The
case - made entirely OF paper. as substitute for
wood, the material being so compressed to be
susceptible of the high polish which is required for
such instruments. AS described the color is a
creamy white the tone is reported TO be character
lied by sweetness rather than lOudness, the sound
emitted, unlike the short broken note of the oTdi-
nary piano. being SOFT full and slightly continuous
somewhat resembling that Of the organ This mod
ificaton of tone, which must be considered an at
traetive feature IS attributed to the evennes of tex
tuFe of the compressed paper.
One of the most adhesive and durable Of ce-
ment5 for uniting iron surfaces Is found to be the
oxide of iron itself With this joint can be made
so perfect and sound that the iron will break before
the cement will part. As an illustration of this
statement the fact - cited that in removing the
cast-ron pipe of bige pump from a ship that had
made four Atlantic voyages II was found necessary
| to take the sections apart the fanges had been
| pasted with q cement of cast-r0n driliHgs and
| filings, mixed with sulphur and sal-ammoniac
mostened with water; then the nuts, three on each
tange, were set up on the bolts, and the union
completed. The four voyages occupied nearly a
year, and on the separation Of the parts being at
SculptcN even CIll5tl lalet 10 make ~ ul-
vision between the solid castings and the eements
/ that intervened.
| 1t - said that the great glacier OF Alaska is
moving at the rate of quarter of mile per annum
/ toward the sea- The front presents a wall of ice
some 500 feet in thickness its breadth varies from
to 10 miles, and it is about $50 miles long. Almost
every quarter of hour hundreds Of tons of ice in
large blocks fall into the sea, which they atate in
| the most violent manner the waves being such as
to toss about the largest vessels that approach the
glacier If they small boats. The ice is ex-
tremely pure and dazzling to the eye and has tntS
of the Eghtest blue well of the deepest indigo
/ The top IS very rough and broken forming small
/ hills and even chains Of mountains in miniature.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
FOR THE LADIES.

The ladies at Newport are boycotting the de-
colette dress.
1t is said that of the 657 members elected 10 the
new English Parliament 337 are openly in favor OF
woman suffrage.
The early origin of the habit of forming good
resolutions Is shown in the fact that every time
Eve changed her dress she turned over q new leaf
Some of the prettIest bathing suits seen on the
beach at Long Branch are never wet. Their own
ers simply don them to parade on the sand under
a gay parasOl.
Unmarried women are so scarce in Montana
that in parts of the Territory it is said COM
mission of from $40 to s2O is freely offered for
good article in wives.
- Red hair OF new and extraordinary shade Is
the latest whim of Parisian bellies. 10 is not the
old-ftshioned auburn hair but a peculiarly bril-
liant shade which is obtained by applying decoc-
ton of SIENNA leaves.
John Brown, Queen Victoria's body-guard as
he called, made a maid of honor very angry
once by saying: HOOt toOt YOU are Just the
woman / have been hunting for. Her Majesty
commands that you present appearance" The
maid objected to the familiarity of John in calling
her " a woman" and she went to the Queen and
complained of Johns rudeness. Victoria very
coolly replied by asking her, II she was not q
woman, pray what was she2
IL young citizen of Guelph, Canada, going
home the other night. was asked by woman to
aid her in getting her husband into the house.
The young man complied. He seized the inc ebriate
who was lying by the fence, and after much hard
work got him into the house and on a couch. The
fearful woman thanked him warmly lighted "A
lamp and screamed. The drunken man was not
her husband. He came home quite sober a few
minutes later.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
PERFECTLY JUSTIFIABLE.
Furnishing Man who Exaggerated the Heu
IGncinnati Times. Sfnr.l ]

"Its dispute that brought me here this
mornin', joodge."
Always the case" returned the court
Never knew it 10 fail i suppose it was the
| oficer?"
"No, sir; 1t was on account av the threemo.
meter" returned the first speaker Patrick Ke-
hoe, an assistant bricklayer-i e.. hodcarrier.
What is a thermometer" demanded the
court.
"Wan av thin jgmarigs that yer measure
! the weather wild" returned Mr.. Kehoe.
"0h, yes. A thermometer you mean.
"Yis, sor; a thermometer"
Thermometer"
a two-story breck house, an mo an the Ditch
stOuemason wor talkin' av the weather. Sez
| he:
"The vedder is ofer $50 decrees"
"'Away wild you seZ i. Not at all. I'll
wager mug Nv beer that cts but wan hun.
dred.
"well, we makes it up to 90 over to saloon
an settle the dispute.
"In we goes an axes the Ditchman for tire
mometer
:" Eot is dem p sez he.
"'Oh, it's thing yez can tell when it's hot
or cowld,' sez l.
''Sez be: No monkey bizness. Irisher: any
tam fool can dell dot midout masheen. Ven
| ids cold warm myself, unit ven / am warm
Gake NE seltzer lemonate.'
"Wnll, We goes 10 a dhTng store an the
| threemometer registered nointey-sex degrays
"The Ditchman kecked, an sez it was wrong
the works wuz busthed.
"The Mkt place wuZ sthable, an the ma
sheen there registered wan bundre'.
"' Now, sez /, will yez buy the beer2'
"No; dot masheen is crooked. Let's 70 by
dc Odder blace on the corner
"Wull, the threemometor down there wu.
WINS an wus. BE the hokey, it stud wan hun
| Dire an six.
"Then kicked. NO. sez !. 'Yez will kap,
on tell yez get me TO wan OF them things thai
will register 200 degrays.'
Den sed dem up says the Ditchman.
May the divil Zip away wild me afr do,
sez /. Thin he begun to call me names, an say
that wuz chatter an bunko man."
"Well2" " inquired the court.
"The Ditchman is in bed wild the foinest paii
av black eyes that ever yez laid yer sight upon
"Mr. Kehoe, 1 find that you were provoked
by this friend of yours"
"Yez are right, begor."
And am going 90 dismiss you"
"What else cud yez dor"
"Go home, and hereafter don't talk abou
thermometers with anybody"
"Wull, I'll allow no Ditchman 10 say IN,
weather is wan hundre' and fifty degrays in th
she'd"
"Shade sir"
"Shid, sor."
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
Exnressinx His Feelings.
[Harpsr's Nagazine.1


man whose matrimonial life had been
anything but happy in consequence Of the
quarrelsOme habits of his wife, who thus con-
trlved TO keep him constantly in hot water with
the neighbors, was at last relieved of her COM
pany by death. As the widower's means were
limited, the funeral was plain, but respectable
enough to satisfy any reasonable relative. The
brother OF the deceased lady, however, was not
reasonable man; and on the return Of the
mourners TO the house he ridieuled the funeral,
said that it was mean, undemonstrative, and
so quiet that all the neighbors must have con-
sidered it niggardly.
Yes, it was rather quiet" responded the
widower; but what did you expect? Did you
want me to show my submission to the decree
of Providence in removing my late lamented
spouse by closing the funeral with a display of
freworks2 i did think of a cheerful display
OF some sort, but abandoned the idea because I
feared the neighbors might talk about it, and
say that / was giving too much expression to
my feelings"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
MAJ. -GEN. B.F. F.KELLEY
Sketch of a Loyal Virginian'S DiStin-
guiShed Services.

Comrades who served IN the Army Of Wesi
Virginia during the late war will learn with
regret that the Senate bin granting Gen. b. K
Kelley pension of Shopper month for eminent
services and disabilities incurred by wound;
failed in the House, Notwithstanding the Pen
sions Committee reported the bill fayorably
The following is a brief history of his military
services, which was filed in the Senate:
Gen. B. 4. Kelley, of West Virginia raised
the first regiment of loyal troops south of Ma
son and Dixon's line during the late war. III,
was commissioned Colonel Of the regiment May
25, 1861 and mustered into the service of tht
United States by order of Gen. George b. Nc
Clellan, then commanding the Department o.
the Ohio. Col. Kelley was directed 10 assume
command Of all the troops then in Virginia and
all other troops that had been ordered to re
port 10 him.
On May q, 1861, Col. Kelley left Wheeling
with his regiment for Grafton, on the Baltimore
Ohio Railroad, followed the next day by
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
Unreliable Adjustment.
tRaapay Station Agents Journal

RatflUay Station Agents JourndLl
The universal custom among Agents and
Operators when their adjustment spring on the
relay wears out is to substitute Indian rubber
instead OF making a requisition for new one.
This in many cases, is the prime cause of
number of night Operators having Respect
fully Referred" explanation TO make fof not
answering calls as promptly as they should A
certain case that came under my observation
while travelling through Texas is worthy of
note. The instruments six or eight ia number,
were all silent. The Operator knowing he had
tested his wires, adjusted his instruments and
found everything in working order, took it for
granted he could take nap and rely ON his call
TO arouse him. He oversight himself. and upon
examination found that the Indian rubber on the
relays had contracted to such an extent as to
silence the whois once. In this part of the
Country il will be remembered that in the early
part of the night 10 is very warm, consequently
the excessive heat expands the Indian rubber
aud gives the required adjustment. Near
morning the weather turns cool and contracts
the Indian rubber and gives a stronger ten
sion, thereby silencing the instruments aud
causing trouble.-"FUMIGAT Rosenberg,
Tex.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1886-08-26
MIDSUMMER LIES.

A fine fish story comes from the Sucker State.
IL ~ that Geneseo man floating down the Illinois
went to sleep. leaving stout fshiine dangling in
the water. When he awoke his boat was Is miles
further up stream than when he went to sleep. A
monster catfish had swallowed the bait and towed
the boat up the river.
- Mrs. Schweickhardt said to be an aged and
truthful resident of HarrisOnvile Mo-. has a hen
that up 10 the tth of last July refused to lay The
old lady, knowing that some hens are whimsical
made this one nice new nest apart from tho 9TH
ers and called the fowl up To IL. 10 seemed TO suit
her; for, according TO Mrs SehweelS hardt usscr-
tiOn, she at deposited six eggs, most of them
large quails eggs, got OFT the nest and
cackled, returned and laid six more, got OF again.
and then laid another half dozen. Then the hen
stopped laying, and has done no business since