St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-02-13
I'M A GA4lOP.
THAT is the Rate ut which Bill BRADY
is fastening to the Poor-House.

That ia the Rate ut which Bill Brady
is fastening to the Poor-House.
Coming down from Northern Michi-
gan, one morning, the train was crowd
ed with lumbermen going to new
camp. The men were all stout healthy
looking fellows, quite rough in their APP
pearanoe and talk, with long. hair and
unshaven faces. About daylight they
began to eat their breakfast from all
sorts of food they had with them, and
the united strength of the mixed odors
suddenly liberated from cheese, onions,
Goldfish, dried herring and so on was
nearly strong enough to stop the tram.
About seven O'Clock the breakfast sta
ton was reached, and one of the lum-
bermen went into the hotel along with
the other passengers. and did his ut
most in the limited time at his COM
mand to bankrupt the keeper Of the es-
Enlistment.
When the train was again in motion
a savage looking fellow, with q jaw
strong enough to grind glass. who was
devouring great strips OF Goldfish and
wiping his mouth on his coat sleeve
after every bite, peered out from the
wilderness of hair that surrounded his
back eyes. upon the man across the
way. who was picking his teeth with
jack-knife, and said;
..How is this, Bill2 You hain't been
squandcrin' your substance on store
breakfast, hev yep
..Well, I reckon l Jest hev. Pete,
,,;J p;l1 a IoDly Of . n 90 TN at
could not be expressed in print.
What do they tax Teller Tor warm
bilt grub in these parts now, Bill?' con-
tinued Pete, as he tore Oft strip OF cod
fish big enough to make meal for
small family.
"A half a dollars what they lifted me
for. Pete
Did YOU say a half dollar, Bin?"
That's what | said, Pete.
.:Do YOU mean to tell ne that you he'd
to pay a half dollar jest for eaten,
Bine"
That's what I'm sayin', Pete.
That's Jest. what he'd to do
.All that money throwed away jest
for little grub! Didn't you have any
bitters, Billo'
mot smell, Pete
Nor no segara'
"No, Pete"
Didn't you make no bargain Tor the
trash beforehand, Bill?'
"Of course did,
LIT wasn't gouge game they come
on you, then?'
mo, knowed what l was a-doin'
afore buttered biscuit
"And you knowed you'd hev to fork
over half dollar jest for eatin', did
you Bill?"
'Whv, certainly, Pete"
swell, my goodness, Bill! What on
this arth do you mean? A half dol
lar Jest for eatin'! Jest for eatin' mind
ye; no segar nor no bitters! All throwed
away in one lump, and nothin' to show
for it ten minutes afterwards! Bill
Brady do you know what you're a.
doin'?'
"I'm dom well enough, Pete"
"No you hain't, Bill. You're a gal.
lopin' toward the poor-house jest as
tight as you kin jump, and if some of
your friends don't interfere and git a
garden appinted for you, goodness
only knows what II become of you. A
half dollar Jest for eatin', and that,
too, all at one grab! Bill, yer brains is
turnin' to water; I'm actlly 'frald
they be- Look at that Goldfish, will
you?'' holding it up by the tail. 81
only paid a quarter for it a week ago.
and it'll stand me another week or so
yit jest like nothin', and yit you'll
throw way four bits all at one whack
for a few bites in a tavern as onconcern-
ed as though money growed on trees.
Bill, you're darned sight bigger fool
I ever took you to be, and that's a
saying heaps. ''-Lige Broom, IN Chi"
cago Ledger