Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-13
BRIGHT BITS.

a POET asks, "Whv are thy spirits thus con-
cealed2' Because this bar Is positively closed
on sunday unless you know the knock.-Ph8-
0delDhiG CGH
WHY do we weep when we ought to smile@'
sings Nellie O'Neill. We don't know, Nellie,
unless il is because of the interference of To-
cal OptiOn.-L 11ceX Courier.
A FLORIDA HEN having laid two eggs in one
day it is understood that she will be DOycotted
by the Knights of Labor for Overproducton.
--Byoo6lsna Fagle.
THE New York Sun says: -Four aces and a
SIX beat four aces and five" Unless the Sun
plays poker with dice he had better never
come West, whore a concurrence of these
hands in a single deal of poker is always the
occasion Of double funeral. the pot going to-
wards paying the funeral expenses Omaha
HerdEd.
A YOUNG MOTHER was giving the child of
her bosom u touchipg description of the misery
into which the Prodigal son had fallen, ''Far,
FAR away nom home an his kind father and
mother, obliged tUbake care of the swine. and
nothing to eat but othe husks left by them,
friendless and hungry" 'Why didn't he eat
the pIgs"-Eec6ddge.
GETTING things mixed: A country minis
ter who in addition to hts @ erical duties fol-
lowed the profession of Il photographer was
called upon TO perform the marriage cere-
mony. Now, then. young man." he said to
Lhe bride room. who was nervous and excl
ted, as all grooms ought to be, Just keep
and look pleasant, '-HdrDsi's BGsGr.
CIr1zEN-Just think Of the deception prac
ticed every day. Why, It's dreadful. Now
If yOu could make $3.50 by a he your sense of
honor wouldn't allow you to do it would it.
Washington Jackson
Washington JacksOn-D unno, boss-dunnO.
seems TO me dat am a matter OBJ bisness
wharln hOnah amt got muffin to say. Say,
boss, who's de man wild de $I5O:-Tid- Bits.
A REVEREND gentleman of Morristown re-
Gently had occasion to visit Brockvile on bus
mess, and the health officer on his return in
sisted that he should be vaecinated. To this
he submitted qUletly. On his arrival home
his friends asked him why in the world he did
not tell the officer that he had had the small
pOX. 81 declare, he said, Il forgot to state
that fact to him. WatertQaon ~. ~ Times.
A FABLE A goat who had been the espe-
cial PRIDE of Shanty Town listened. in a mo-
ment of weak mesa, to the hattery of friends
and allowed himself to be elected alderman
OF his ward. From that moment his star de-
clned He became the object of suspicion
and calumny; ana finally, while suffering
from severe attack of Ill-gotten Cams he
crawled OF aud died a victim of msdirected
ambition.
The moral is suppressed for political rea-
sons lid Bits.
A MAN rode past cabin over in Virginia
the other day and seeing woman in the front
door he spoke to her. "GoOd mornin','' she
answered. -ItE
Bad weather we've been having" he con-
tnued.
"Pow'ful mizzable-r
"Are times pretty hard with you?"
"Nell they wuz tell as week. an my boys
didn't have clos enough skercely 10 kiver
themselves, but the ole man died sudden sun
day night, an sence then the boys has been
lOokin' so peart in his ole clos that pros
pecks is brightenin' nightly. Washington
critic.