Butte semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1886-1890, 1886-09-08
A MODEL HOTEL.
Its Cenveniences, Purposes, Properties,
and Rules and Regulations.

TAyoung lady of this city who has ex-
perienced about all the a%nnoyances and
Inconvenience to which guests OF the pres
ent day hotels are subject, having abund-
ant means at her command proposes to
erect a hotel in Butte that will contain all
that mortals here be.ow will want. The
following is a copy of the prospectus
which has been handed in this office for
pnblication.-ED.l
The hotel will be located near the post
office, the theaters, principal business
houses and smelters, and will be arranged
solely in view OF the comfort OF drummers,
variety actors and actresses, mil%Iionaires,
spectators, mining sharps, bullwhackers
and b~ootblacks.
On arrival zach guest will be asked how
he likes thu situation and if he says it
ought to lave been built nearer the theater
or postoffice or any other locality it will
be changed at once.
Corner front rooms up only one flight of
stairs for each guest.
Baths, gas, hot and cold water, laun-
dry, telegraph, fire alarm, water closet,
restaurant, barroom, billiard table, DAILY
BUTTE MINER, policeman, sewing machine,
v clergyman and all other modern con-
aeniences in every room.
Meals every minute if desired, and con
sequently no second table. English, Ger.
man and French dictionaries furnished
each guests for devotional exercises.
Walters Of every color and nationality.
/ dress suit, with button-hole bouquet, a
ball tablet and to part his hair in the
middle.
Every guest will have the best seat in the
| dining room and the best waiter in the
house.
Any guest not getting his or her breakfast
| red hot within si1 seconds after giving an
| order will please mention the fact at the
| Office, and the cook and waiter will be
blown from the mouth of a canno in
stanter-
All guests will be welcomed with delight
when they come in drunk at 4 o'clock in
the morning. They can bang the furniture
which is expressly provided for that pur-
pose, dance a jig or ii Highland fling on the
piano, and otherwise enjoy themselves.
Washing soiled linen allowed in all the
rooms. Ladies giving the order, put me
on a flat iron," will lie put on one every
hour OF the day or night.
A discreet waiter who belongs to the
Masons, Odd Fellows, Sons OF Malta, K. o!
P, the Church West, l. 0. G.. T.. and the
Ancient order Of 1901, and who was never
known to tell the truth, or time OF day,
| has been emplOyeQ at tNlS eSUaDltsltueHu ~
carry champagne, milk punches, hot tod
dies, and other liquid refreshments t. TIE
rooms OF guests at any time day or night.
The Office clerk has been strictly charged
and directed to please everybody. He will
unite in prayer, play draw poker, run tni
the doctor, shake for the drinks, play bii.
lizards, dance to perfection, amusc the chill
dren, repeat the Deecher-Tiiton trial from
beginning to cad from memory can tell tue
arrival and departure OF railroad trains
, and coaches, will f:rt with married act
resses and not mind bel & punched By tbs
, husb. nd when lie comes III, can room ~
people in the best room in tie house, cal
answer all questions in Latin, Greek, lie
!, brew. Choc'aw. French, German, Sioux
Chinook, or any other polite language. al
at the same time, without turning q hair
Cats and dogs allowed in any room il
the house.
:. Gentlemen are permitted t o drink, smoke
! chew tobacco. soil the carpet when the Gus
pidore is not handy, stare at new arrival
S and indulge in any other innocent amust
u ment.
Payment of bills subject to convenient
o OF guests. Money no object, the reputs
ton of the house for comfort and reason
ableness Of charges being the only cons't
Grafton.
It The landlord will always be pleased I
hear that some other hotel is the best
the city.