Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-02-11
LEVI ISENSTEIN.

Levi Isenstein is genial gentleman who
keeps clothing store on South Clark
Street. He is q man Of diversified talents,
and in addition to his extensive clothing
trade he is always pleased to see any needy
persons who have any jewelry they would
like to leave with him for safe keeping,
in consideration Of small amount of cash.
Mr.. Isenstein is also wit and 4 philOSO-
pher. The first record we have of any of
his sayings is the remark he made after
witnessing a performance of "Richelieu."
Being man of business he is not in the
habit of squandering his money on theatre
tickets, but on this occasion, he had been
presented with couple Of complimentary
tickets by one of his customers, so he took
his son Jacob and went. On his way home
he thus delivered himself:
"Shaky, my poy, desc show actors don'd
know noding. Don'd you pellet dem,
Shaky. Ven der shendleman in der blay
say dere vas no sudg word as fail, den he
make himself foolish, und don'd you forged
id. Shoost hear your fader spoke, Shaky
Der biggest word in de language vas fail,
and der smaller der ber shent. to de gredi-
tors der bigger der word. Shust don't for
got dot, Shaky, und ven your old tader vas
der ground under, und you found you gan
fail for den cents on der dollar, don't Vald
till ter-morroW to do it,"
The next time Mr.. Isenstein displayed
his wisdom he was riding on the cars, with
his two sons Jacob and Isaac. The con.
ductor attempted to collect full tare for ia
cob, and this brought out a remonstrance.
"Dose twins on der oder side pays shust
halef, aint it?"
EYES," responded the conductor.
"Und dey vas den years old each. 1sh
dot SOP"
"I guess So"
"Vell, den you took vone whole fare for
dwenty years. Isaac, he was tree und
Shaky, he vas sebenteen. Dots dwenty,
aint it: Veil, den I pays you one whole
fare. Ply shiminy! you fellow you don'd
1t was not very often that Mr.. 1senstein
forgot himself but once in a while he did.
One morning he found a counterfeit dollar
in his pocket. He could not understand it.
Spy shiminy," he muttered, 81 wonder
i'll amt got some sense at ALL" Then to
his SON: "Shaky, run quick to Mr.. Mosen-
baum's over, und puy dwenty five-cent
segars."
In five minutes Jacob returned with the
cigars, and Mr.. Isentien went gayly about
his work. The dollar was passed.
That afternoon Mr.. Isenstein was rumma-
ging in the cash drawer, and he ran across
the same dollar again.
"Shaky, Shaky, come here quick p he
cried. "Don'd you got some sense! Vere'd
dot tollar come from?"
"Mr. Mosenbaum come der street Ofer,
und bought pair of suspender braces"
"Vel, took it back und puy me twenty
more segars. So hellup me, Moses, purity
soon got so many segars, hat to give Won
away or make myselluf sick"
Jacob returned shortly, and said:
"Mr. Mosenbaun wont took der tollar."
Mr.. Isenstein grasped the money, and
rushed across the street.
Spy shiminy! Wy don'd you took dot
tollar 2" he exclaimed.
"Do you think make myselluf foolish.
Dot tollar was counterfeit"
"Vell, you dot dollar took back. My poy
Shaky took dot tollar from YOU"
"Ish dot so? Do you tink / make my
sellut fool because Shaky do. Veil, L
don'd guess do dot"
"Py 1shiminy, so hellup Isaac, you took
dot tollar back, or make itso warm for you
as never was. You shust hear me spoke"
"Vell, Levi Isenstein, shust you let me
toot vile. You took dot tollar und put it
in your ear, und 60 nit it to de dooce, und
if you don'd go purity quick kick you owt
of my sthore."
Then for about five minutes the air was
filled with dust and bad English, while
Isenstein and Mosenbaum rolled over on
hefoor and pulled each others hair. Then
Mrs. Mosenbaum came down stairs and took
a hand, and Jacob came across the street to
help his father. When the smoke of battle
cleared away Isenstein lay in the gutter
moaning the loss of his dollar, and Mosen-
baum lay under his counter bewailing the
damage to his store.
Isenstein has gone into decline, brought
about by his inability to get rid of the dol
lar. 1t is thought he will recover.-7he
Rambler.