Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-01-26
BILL NYE's PHYSICIAN.
A ADecidedly Open Letter on Health
and Other Personal Matters.
tBoston Globe.
ATux n Cu,uun E,o

[BOstOn Globe.
ALEX E. SWEET, ESQ.
Dear SRI have seen recently al
open letter addressed to me, ant
written by you in vein of conf
dence and subrosa. What you SAT-
was so strictly confidential, in fact
that you published the letter in New
York, and 1t was copied through III
press of the country. l shall, there
fore, endeavOr to be equally careful
IN writing my reply.
| You refer in your kind and conf
dental note to your experience as al
invalid, and your rapid recovery af
ter the use of red-hot Mexican peppe
tea in molten state.
But you did not have such physi
clan as did when had spinal men
ingitiS. lie was good doctor fol
horses and blind staggers, but he wal
out of his sphere when he strove tc
fool with the human frame. Change
of scene and rest were favorite pre-.
scriptions of his. Most of his pa,
tients got both, especially eterna
rest. lie made specially of eternal
rest.
He did not know what the matter
was with me, but lie seemed to be
willing to learn.
My wife says that while he was at
tending me l was as crazy as a loon
but that l was more lucid than the
physician. Even with my little shat
tered wreck of mind, tottering be-
tween superficial knowledge of
how TO pound sand, and wide
shoreless sea of mental vacuity, l
still had the edge OH my physician,
from an intellectual point of view.
He is still practising medicine in a
quiet kind of way, weary of life,
and yet fearing to die and 60 where
his patients are.
lie had a sabre wound on one
cheek that gave him a ferocious ap-
pearance. lie frequently alluded to
how he used to mix up in the earn
age of battle, and how he used TO
roll up his pantaloons and wade in
gore. He said that If the tocsin of
war should sound now, or if he were
TO wake up in the night and hear
wars rude alarum, he would spring
to arms and make tyranny tremble
till its suspender buttons fell off.
Oh, he was bad man from Bitter
Greek.
One day I learned from an old
neighbor that this physician did not
have anything to do with preserving
the Union intact, but that he acquir-
ed the scar on his cheek while max
ing some experiments as a drunk and
disorderly. He would come and sit
by my bedside for hours, waiting for
this mortality to put on immortality,
so that he could collect his bill from
the estate, but one day l arose during
temporary delirium, and extracting
slat from my couch smote him
across the pit of the stomach with it
whileI hissed through my clenched
teeth:
physician, heal thyself."
| then tottered, a few times, and
fell back into the arms of my atten-
dants. II you do not believe this,
Mr.. Sweet, l can still show you the
clenched teeth. Also the attendants.
l had hard time with this pbysi-
clan, but l still live, contrary to his
earnest solicitations.
Mr.. Sweet, / desire to state that
should this letter creep into the press
of the country, and thus become, in
a measure, public, l hope that it
will create no ill-feeling on your part
Our folks are all we'll as write,
and should you happen to be on Lake
Superior this winter, yachting, l
hope you will drop in and see us.
Our latch string is hanging out most
all the time, and if You will pound on
the fence l will call off the dog.
l frequently buy copy of your
paper on the streets. Do you get the
money?
Are you acquainted with the staff
of The Century, published in New
York l was in The Century office
several hours last spring, and the ed
itors treated me very handsomely, but
although have bought the magazine
ever since, and read 1t thoroughly, 1
haven't seen yet where they said that
"they had pleasant cal! from the
genial and urbane William Nye." II
do not feel offended over this. i
simply feel hurt.
Before that 1 had a good notion to
write brief epic on the "Warty
Toad" and send it to The Century
for publication, but now it is quite
doubtful.
The Century may be good paper,
but 1t does not take the press dis
patches, and only lsst month saw
in it an account of battle that to
my certain knowledge occurred
twenty years ago. BILL NYE,