The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1886-06-11

! lighted with the success OF his little
scheme. There they sat, his once
iovial comrades, as be had predicted,
sileifs IS mutes at q funeral; il they
interchanged word, it was in mono
syllables. They looked neither to the
right nor to the left, and ate of the
dainty cakes placed before them
| automatically, without relish, appa-
rently without appetite, and when
the crowning feature of the entertain
ment appeared in the shape of chief
d'euvre of the coDfectioner'ss skill, the
signal on former occasions OF a round
OF applause, one brother, hitherto the
joliiest of the crew, drew out his pock-.
et-handkerchief.
'That ocket-handerchief brought
matters to climax. No sooner was
one brother seen wiping away his
tears, than another and another felt
an imperative call to weep. Grief is
evenamore contagious than Joy. At
what should have been the merriest
part of the banquet, the monks, one
and all, sat sobbing over the delicious
morsel served out to them, which
they nevertheless contrived to eat all
the while. Then at last and indeed, a
smile, real, visible, and unmistakable,
was visible on the face of the ascetic
Superior. The whole scene was SO in
congruous. soludicrous, SO unex-
pected, that had he not smiled,
he must have been more than
human. AS for his guests, they
feigned a tickling in the throat
and Uttered behind their hand
kerchiefs, whilst the poor lay breth-
rem in attendance, overcome with mer-.
riment, had hurried pell-mell into the
buttery in order to avoid a scandal.
"The only person present who was
exactly himself, neither whit merrier
nor sadder, was Father Chrystal. A
proud and happy man he felt that
moment, and we'll he might. He had
he had foiled theintentions of a crusty
Superior, he had proved himself as
good as his word. AS thep party broke
up--the monks, with tears running
down their cheeks, filing off in one di-
rection; the Superior and his guests,
now laughing audibly as they passed
through the opposite door; the lay
brethren, bursting with fun. as they
peered from the pantry; Father
Chrystal surveyed the scene, triumph
ant. He stood like some success
full stage manager, contemplating
the triumph of his own bringing
about, no empty vetunter, no vain
trumpeter of his own achievements.
His Elixir de Douleur was, past ques-
tion, one of the great Inventions OF
the world.
"And what became of it?" 1 ask
ed the narrator.
"It has made the fortune, not OF
Father Chrystal, but of his house, "
added Father Bartolomaus. "How
could it be otherwise with such q
brew? It's vast applicability must
at once occur to you. For instance
it is not vouchsafed. to all CT Us to
leave behind host of heart-broken
relations. How appropriate, how
decorous, Father Chrystaps exilir at
certain funeral feasts, when a SEM
blance of grief is obligatory Again,
in public life, it comes in with great
handiness and decency. 1t will often
happen that an unpopular function
ary is feted before his departure, and
upon such occasions civilians have
recourse to this wine in order to
squeeze out q tear or two, or
when an obnoxious Superior is about
to be removed, we monks drink to
him in cups that make us seem to la
ment rather than unseasonably re-
joice. AS to actors on the stage, it is
Invaluable to them BY the help of
Father Chrystals elixir they can weep
and show extreme detection in the
most natural manner and without
the least effort. The clergy of all churh-
es have recourse to it largely, and
iudges-at least in Francc-never 60
on q circuit without it. AS to women!
Well you will say ought to know
nothing about them. ] may, howev-
er, at least tell you what Others tell
NE. They say then that low
ers are constantly winning our
obdurate naistresses to listen
to their suit by help of this precious
nostrum. They just imbibe little,
and their sighs, tears, and melancholy
are more than the hearts of the ten
der sex can resist. Not adaughter of
Eve yields to it. Suppose you make
the experiment.
"You forget" / said "that I am al
ready a paterfamilias with host OF
youngsters all depending on my pal
eJte and brush. Fits of detection
come, alas, to me often enough, with
out needing to resort to artificial
neans However, when / am next
woe-begone and depressed shall think
Of your story and must be very far
gone indeed if it does not provoke
smile. ALI the Year Round.