davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
To Take Home to Your Wife.

Take home to your wife sincere and honest
heart,
Kept affectionate and true and tender;
Kindled we'll to glow of "living altar COAL"
The gift of giver, not q sender.
Take that home to your wife.
When you End pleasant word afoat on the air,
And are puzzled to know how to catch it,
Bid it come to you at once for kindest keep and
Guide it cautiously and tendery watch it.
Take that home to your wife.
Should you find bright idea wandering aimless-
ly about,
And marvel how you best may obtain it,
Set prompt and careful watch, both within and
without,
And, when once you have made out to gain it,
Take that home to your wife.
Should there sleep within your soul little spark
of love,
With tendency each day to growing brighter,
Let the coal from off the altar" but touch it from
above,
And, with your own heart happier and lighter,
Take that home to your wife.
Should you spy a little sin in the pathway Of
hoymutt-r how whore, whenevor,
Toss it back upon the winds-a germ of worldly
strife
Resolving, what may come, that you'll never
Take that home to your wife.
Take only to your wife all the good that you know
In the worldly ways of life's daily giving;
Take your heart in your hand when your home
ward way you go
And you'll have at last life worth the living
To take home to your wife.
-Good HouseLeeDin1
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

BgMake no more vows to perform
this or that for it shows no strength, and
makes thee ride behind thyself.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
The Drummer Talked Too Much.
Albany Argue.


An ambitious young commercial tour
ist living in one of the cities on the
middle Hudson became acquainted with
young lady attending well-known
seminary, whose father Is an influential
citizen of one of the Washington county
towns, and is reputed to have solid
bank account. Having progressed in
his acquaintance with the young lady so
| far as to seek and receive an invitation
to visit her at her home during her school
vacation, he essayed to risk the danger
that might attend his reception at the
paternal domicile. Having engaged
the latest trotters and the nattiest turn
out of the village liveryman, our tourist
set out.
The ride was about six miles, and af-
ter ne had journeyed about half that
distance he overlook pedestrian and
inquired if he was 'on the right road to
Mr.. Smiths farm house?' Receiving
an affirmative reply, the drummer asked
the farmer to ride. The latter got in
the buggy, and as soon as he was seated
the young man pulled out his flask and
asked his new-made friend to imbibe.
1t was declined, and the profered cigar
elected the response that he neither
| drank liquor nor smoked nor chewed
| tobacco. To this the sharp young man
rejoined by avowing his belief that there
never was man but what was addicted
to some of the vices. Meeting with no
contradiction on this topic, he inquired
OF the stranger if he knew Mr.. Smith
and his standing in the community.
Yes, replied he, Il know him very
well, and | think he is quite fair with
his townsmen.
Hes well hooked up, amt hep
well, he owns one of the best farms
in the town, and he prides himself on
his stock
HE has daughter?'
yes, three of them.'
well, mean the one that is at school
in -2 have met her and am invit-
ed by her to call and spend the evening"
'Ah, is that so? She is an excellent
girl
| WCll, onC 10 SlCdl lHdoLCd Oll luC, oAO
l intend to do my level best to marry
her and get share of the old mans
money to set me up in business. Don't
you think that bright business ideae'
'Well, as l said, she is good girl,
and one that loves her father dearly,
and obeys him in everything. You could
not obtain her hand without the fathers
consent.
'I'll see about that. I'd give more
to obtain the daughters than the old
mans CONSENT replied the impetuous
but undiscerning young fellow
At this moment they were approach
ing stately farmhouse, and as they
reached its front the farmer said: Il
live here, and will get out, if you please.
The commercial man gently halted
the trotters, and, as the old gentleman
reached the ground, he said to him:
Now, how much further is it to Mr..
Smith's2'
Il am Mr.. Smith, SIR replied the
farmer, sternly, 'and you can drive on,
for l will not permit you to stop on my
premises
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
Gray Hairs.

Many persons begin to show gray
hairs while they are yet in their twen-
ties, and some while in their teens. This
does not by any means argue prema-
ture decay of the constitution. 1t is
purely local phenomenon, and may
co-exist with unusual bodily vigor. Many
feeble persons, and Others who have suf-
fered extremely, both mentally and
physically, do not blanch hair until
past middle life; while others, without
assignable cause, lose their capillary col
oring matter rapidly when about forty
years of age.
Race has a marked influence. The
traveller, DIR. Obigny, says that in many
years he spent in South America he
never saw bald Indian, and scarcely
ever a gray-haired one. The negroes
turn more slowly than the whites. Yet
we know a negress of pure blood, only
thirty five years old, who is quite gray.
In this country sex appears to make
little difference. Men and women grow
gray about the same period of life. In
men the hair and beard rarely change
equally. The one is usually darker than
the other for several years, but there
seems no general rule as to which whitens
first. The spot where grayness begins
differs with the individual. The phil
osopher Schopenhauer began to turn
gray on the temples, and complacently
framed theory that this is an indica-
tion of vigorous mental activity.
That excessive grief or JOY does affect
some persons in a remarkable manner
is beyond doubt. Some persons will
die, others go mad and others turn gray
headed in short space of time. Many
instances are recorded to establish the
fact that sudden alarm or grief will, as
Sir Walter Scott has said, 'blanch at
once the hair The hair of Ludwig,
of Bavaria, who died in 1894, on learn
ing the innocence of his wife whom he
had caused to be put to death, became
almost suddenly white as snow. The
same thing happened to the Hellenist,
Vanvilliers, in consequence of terrible
dream; and also to the French comedian,
BLIZZARD, who, having fallen into the
Rhone remained for some time in i'm
minent danger of his life, clinging to
an iron ring in one of the piles Of the
bridge. A like change was wrought
in the case of Charles l., in single
night, when he attempted to escape from
Carisbrooke Castle. Marie Antoinette,
the unfortunate Queen of Louis XVI,
found her hair suddenly changed by her
distresses, and gave faithful friend her
portrait, inscribed, 'whitened by afflic-
ton The beard and hair of the Duke
of Brunswick whitened in twenty-four
hours, upon his hearing that his father
had been mortally wounded in the bat
tie of Anerstadt.
Itisstated that most striking instances
are recorded ofthe quick transition from
natures richest and fullest coloring to
gray and white. Sometimes even one
night of intense suffering has been suf
ficient to bleach raven head. AS an
instance of more gradual effect, we may
cite that OF President Polk, who entered
upon his official duties with head of
magnificent black hair, and left them at
the end of four years with one complete
ly white.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
to every Cash Purchaser of
$500

or upwards, the watch is presented free
gratis, the watch is warranted by the
Manufacturers. The Clothing for Men
and Boys is guaranteed cheaper than
similar Goods can be purchased for else
where. Nobody pays an extra cent for
Clothing on account of the Watch.
Prices are the same with the Watch or
without. Everybody who has bought
our Clothing knows its reliability and
general excellence and most people are
posted as to the merits of the Waterbury
Watch. AS we shall present this Souve-
mir only for a short time, an early call
is an absolute necessity.
OEHM & SON,
Pratt and Hanover Streets,
BALTIMORE.
Samples Sent by Mail on Application.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
Something About Breathing.

Mouth breathing, said distinguish
ed physician, lis curious affection. 1t
is more common than is supposed; oc-
ours in infancy, at manhood and at mid
die age, and causes good deal of suf-
fering; yet it is strange thing that the
people in general do not seem to pay
any attention to this aff1iction when oc-
curing in their own families, in spite
of the manner in which it distorts the
face, until some actual disease sets in
and medical aid is necessary. Even the
physicians do not seem to reflect that
this trouble may cause any one of large
number of diseases affecting the system
in general. Why, you can tell one of
these mouth -breathers anywhere the
moment you see him. From disease of
the nose, his lips are retracted, his mouth
is continually open, his gums recede,
in tire upper jaw, the flesh that forms
the lower part of the nostrils is shrunken,
the openings OF the nostrils are dimin-
ished in size, there are wrinkles at the
outer edge of the eyes, and deep lines
run from the nostrils to the angles OF
the mouth. These all give the person
either an expression of idlocy, Stiffness
or suffering. But the principal thing is
the necessity of parents and nurses
watching children when they fall asleep,
and preventing them from breathing
with their mouths open. In grown per-
sons, diseases of the nose and throat
NAV lead to mouth breathing and the
resulting distortions of the features; but
it is the other way with children. They
should be taught to use the mouth for
eating and speaking only; and if they
fall asleep with their mouths open the
lips should be gently pressed together.
Thus, many constitutional diseases, such
as spinal trouble, pigeon breast, and
perhaps even rickets, may be avoided,
not to speak of affections of the throat
and nose.
It seems that medical men are not the
onlv ones who studied more or less
carefully the habit of mouth-breathing.
George Catlin, the portrayer of Ameri-
|
in one of his works that it was known
fact that a man can inhale mephitic air
through the nose for certain time in
the bottom of well without harm;
but, if he opens his mouth to answer a
question or call for help, his lungs are
closed, and he expires. Catlin says:
Il have seen poor Indian woman in
the wilderness lowering her baby from
her breast and pressing its lips together
as it falls to Sleep
Among two million people, he found
that deafness, dumbness, spinal curva-
tive, and deaths from teething and dis
eases of the respiratory passages were
almost unknown. He attributes this
exemption from these ailments, SO very
common in civilized life. solely To lhe
habit of breathing through the nose.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
How Bill Lit the Fire.

'Mebby you've seen my boy Bill hang.
ing around here?' queried farmer oi
a policeman at the Central Market yes.
terday. 'He's common looking chap.
little bow backed, and has red mittens,
blue comforter and scared look
4 saw such a chap about an hour ago,
but he's man grown
SOS Bill. He's as big as anybody,
but he don't know nuthin'. The other
morning he got up to start the fire, and
come to look around he could'n find a
match in the house. It's half mile to
the nearest naybur's, and what did that
smart son of mine do? He put the
kindling into the cook stove, tucked
some paper under it, and then got down
the shotgun to try brilliant expert.
ment. He thought the flames of the
powder would set the kindlings going
and save him a tramp.
'And didn't it?'
sWhy, the long-legged ignoramus
never stopped to see if the gun wasn't
already loaded, when, as matter oi
fact, she had big charge of powder
and a handful ofbuck. shot already down.
When that gun went off the report riz
everybody out of bed in twinkling,
and away went all the glass in the kitch-
en- windows. We haven't got the house
fairly clear of smoke and ashes yet,
while the charge of shot blew the whole
back of the stove out.
'What did the boy do?
'He was lying on his back on the floor
when 1 got down. I got some water
and put out the confagration in his hail
and eyebrows and goatee, and then
led him to the back door and gave him
a lift which lit over a snow-drift six feet
high. l guess I was little too hasty
l heard he came to town and l thought
I'd hunt him up and sort of apologize.
At that moment Bill came around
corner of butcher market, and the
father held out his hand and said:
Bill, you are the biggest fool in th'
State of Michigan, but you can come
back home all the same
'Do you want me tor
sSartin. You don't know 'nuff t.
chaw gum, and its wonder you hahn
bin hit by cats since you left home. Gl
| in thar and mind the team, while l g
and price new cook-stove.'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
'Arter lots er s.rugglin' an some

AItCI lOto Cl o.iuSSHA OH oOh'S
mighty tail swimmin' dat niger git
away, an de shark dun loss trail un him..
Bein's twas long ways fun sho, de Sis
tiers an bred'rin call out to him agin' {:
'Oh! brudder, you better come on de
gospel ship!' But no, dat niger say
he gwineter make de promis' lam on
his own hook or bust suspender. So
he KEEP on, and 'twant long fore he
was nigh de bank OBJ de golden stream
which take dem plum to the Ian Nv
Canaan. And, oh! my bred'rin, dat
nigger did look happy when he was
bout to reach de bank. But dar whar
fresh troubles ketch him. He amt no
sooner by de bank dan dat hungry shark
fish make fer i'm agin, but he so nigh
de bank he laff, he did, an holler out,
mot dis time!' But when he git to de
bank what did he see? Huh? G-r-e-a t
big lion standin' dar on de bank lashin'
his tail on de groun', wild his mouf wide
open, an his great big white teef an
big red gums er showin' dar ready to
grab i'm. He look behine, an what
did he see? De g-r eat big shark er
comm at i'm wild his mouf wide open,
too. Dat niger was in er mighty pickle,
sho'. Oar was de lion in front. Oar
was de shark behine. De gospel ship
was jes pullin' in, too; an when de
happy ones on bode seed i'm, did dey
want i'm ct up kaze he had fused ter
call on de Lawd? No, dey didn't. Wld
true Christian sperrit, dey call out ter
him dey did: 'Now, brudder, even at
de 'lebenth hour, call on de cap'n OBJ
de ship an you shill be saved. Yo'
sins may be black as yer skin, but you
shill be whittier dan snow
THE JIG WAS UP.
DAT niger seed de jig was up. He
know'd 'twan't no use any longer, an
he sing out, he did, Il want ter git on
de gospel ship, too He so skeered
an got so weak dat his bad heart done
melt, his mule way done lef him, and
spite his sinful ways, he was keered for
by de cap'n in de gospel ship. He was
lifted up, an jes' as de shark made a
pass fur i'm Mr.. Shark jump right spang
on de bank an into de lions mouf, an
was ct up quicker'n you could say Jack
Robertson
'Yaas, Lawd, deed he was,' cried out
several sisters who had listened breath
lessly at the discourse until the climax
was reached.
THE MORAL.
Lowering his voice and speaking from
away down in his chest, the old darky
preacher drew his moral from the above
points, making lasting impression on
his hearers by saying in conclusion:
'Now, my bred 'rin-you what's in
de fole, and got de grace, an you what
am still holdin' off-'fore I closes dis
sermon, lemme, as de chosen leader Nv
de flock, de expounder NV de Scripters,
an de Moses what tries to lead you all
to de happy Ian of Canaan; lemme
press on you one awful, solem' an
mighty fack. You has heerd how dat
niger was saved, an all what l bin
tellin' you bout; but doan you forgit
Off n yer 'membrance. de Lawd doan
purvide lion fer eb'ry niger. Dat
He DON'T
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

JOSEPH G. WILSON. HARRY B. PHILLIPS.
WILSON q PHILLIPS,
w TYSON BUILDING,
N. W. Corr Charles and Lexington Streets,
Entrance 1st door on Lexington St., No. 81,
BALTIMORE, ND.
R:E:A:L E:S:T:A:T:E.
Property for sale or rent in all parts of the city
and county. Business property, lots for manufac-
turing purposes, water fronts, farms and country
seats. Refers to bankers, manufacturers and mer-
chants generally. Dec.19,' ,'S5y.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10
Waiting for His Wife.
Detroit Free Press.

If you are standing around a railroad
depot about the time some train is ex-
pected in you needn't look twice to
identify the man who is down there to
welcome his wife. She has been away
three weeks, but the time seems like
three months to him. He was never so
glad in his life as at the thought that
she is rolling towards him as fast as
steam can travel.
There was such man at the foot of
Brush street Saturday. He expected
his wife on the Michigan Southern train
He rushed up and down to see if the
train was on time. Then he rushed out
and engaged hack. Then he prone
Iladcd up and down and wiped his brow,
and he was still at it when a man who
had been across the road ~ wet iii0 " i'i.
tie with old rum came Slouching back
and inquired:
Expecting some one, eh 2
sYes, SIR
'Wife, probably?'
sYes.'
Bin away long?'
sOver two weeks.
Coming on this tramp
'Yes.'
well, Dunno continued the man,
as he rubbed his back against the ticket
window-shelf. Il wouldn't be too en-
thusiastic about it. Wimen are mighty
onsartin. I've had two of 'em run
away from me. Is your wife any hand
to make acquaintance while travellngf'
mo, sir!'
Couldn't be induced to elope? ?
'Sir! Do you intend to insult meP'
GOSH no. I wouldn't insult no.
body nor nothing. Could your wife be
carried away by good looks and lots OF
money!
If YOU wasn't an old man I'd thump
YOU for your impudence! exclaimed the
husband, as he grew red all over.
sYou would1 Well, / won't talk tc
you. If your wife comes in on the train,
all right; if she doesn't, you needn't
blame me.
He went into the sitting room and
presently the train came in. The hus'
band lodged about as if he was walking
on glass and the passengers came Out
one by one until the coaches were
empty. There was no wife. 1t was ter
minutes before the husband could give
I'D and when he did and started ou
doors the old man lounged out and said
Il told him! I've lost two winner
Just that way and l knew what l wa
talking about
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

s@-A slab-sided, mud-covered gran
ger entered a Main-street clock store
about dusk Saturday evening, and, with
a bewildered look, asked: mister, is
this where man kin git clocka' 'Yes,
sir said the clerk2 wall, said the
granger, f~ho. be th~t t;el-e-p re;~tine
to an ornate and intricate piece of time
recording mechanism on the shelf.
THAT, SIR said the clerk, 'is wonder.
full timepiece. 1t is worth 5000, and
will run three years without winding.
Great Scott! gasped the granger,
three years without winding! Say, mis-
ter, how long would the blame thing run
| if she was wound up?'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

p@rA tree will not only lie as it falls,
hut il will fall as it leans. And the great
question every one should bring home
TO himself is this: sWhat is the incli-
nation of my soul7 Does it, with all
its affections, lean toward God, or away
from him?
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

nara poet sends us poem contain
ing eighty-three verses, and says ne
hopes we will not be averse to printing
it. A verse or two is all right, but when
it comes to eighty-three we weaken.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

pg-"Deed, MISS said he, address
ing the daughter, you'se lookin' mighty
peart, you is, and growed big CONAN,
too. since | fust knowed ye. An dar's
yo' mudder, too. Lawd Lawd 'ston-
ishin' how smart she looks. | amt
gwine ter say at you look SOLIDS yo'
mudder, but 1 'clar it am sartin fact
yo' mudder looks S young as y0u.' And
the courtly old coon chuckled softly as
he resumed his shoveling.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

~'Here, said the farmer, as he
exhibited broken jar to the manufac-
turer, Il packed this jar full OF butter
and the jar split from top to bottom.
Perhaps you can explain the phenome-
non.' ooh, yes, cam was the ready
reply; 'the butter was stronger than the
iarl'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-10

s@I've been digging all over my gar
den,' said Brown, 'and I'm all worn
out sAh!' remarked Fogg, "a new
variety of earthen wear, eh?' Fender
son, who was present, thought it was a
mighty good joke, and seeing Smith a
short time afterwards, of course he had
to tell it. 4 say, Smith,, said he, 'Fogg
Just got off a neat thing. Brown was
saying that he was all worn out digging
in his garden, and Fogg asked him il
that wasn't new kind of crockery ware.
What do you think Of that2' 4 don't
see the point 'Darned if do either
now; but thought l did when Fogg
told it,
Weekly commercial herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1884-18??, 1886-04-30
AN EASTER CARD.

"What can a girldo in our day?" exclaimed
Agnes Clement, petulantly. The speaker
rested her elbows on the table and gazed at
the lamp.
Opposite was sister Anne, calm, matronly,
self-satisfed, mending baby's pinafore.
"Plenty of occupation may be found in
your profession, if you would seek it," replied
sister Anne, biting off her thread and form
ing a new knot. painting china, designing
wood cuts, even coloring photographs"
Agnes raised her head with flashing eyes.
ooh, why do you not add taking in wash
ing, or scrubbing down the stairs| she cried,
with scorn and anger.
"That is the difficulty" continued sister
Anne, with unruffled composure. "You are
impatient and despise the beginning. One
cannot spring into a full-fedged artist at one
bound. Pray how did the great European
artists commence, about whom you are so
fond of readingi Very modestly, | promise
you"
Agnes made no immediate response. In
,tead. she rufied her blonde hair with her
hands, and stared modify at the lamp. The
room was plain, and the noise Of the street
below was audible in the tinkling of a car
bell and the rattle of carts IN the pavement.
Located on one of the wide business avenues
of the city of New York, this modest home
of a clerk with a slender salary held dis
similar elements united by close relationship.
II could not obtain any Of the work you
propose, if l tried" resumed the young artist.
"There are more applicants than labor in all
fields and in every land"
"True," sighed sister Anne, mindful that a
week of illness would replace her husband at
the store by a dozen eager competitors in
need of bread.
A key was inserted In a neighboring door,
and the object of her solicitude entered, bring
ing a keen gust of winter air with him. The
husband of sister Anne was a brisk little
man, with shrewd blue eyes, laxen hair and
q spot of red on either cheek bone. Hegreeted
his family c%heerfully, while unwinding a silk
handkerchief from his throat
"Tve got something for you in my pocket,
Aggy," he said to his siSter-in-law. 1.-THE
very thing for you"
She looked at him with q faint smile.
ayes; l came on it quite by accident, l
may say-riding up town in the car" he pur-
sued, with animation. Then he unfolded a
newspaper and placed his finger on a para
graph. The trio read together the following
advertisement:
DREMIUM offered Of $10o for best design OF Easter
L card for the approaching season. Competitors
are requested to present their applications to
LANG & Co.
Sister Anne read over the shoulder of her
husband. what a chance for you, Agnes"
she said. II am confident you would win the
prize. One hundred dollars, tool"
Iang & Co. are the great photographers,
you know" supplemented the husband. Il
saw it by the merest chance in a column Of
advertisements. Nothing like reading the
papers"
Agnes studied the paragraph and made no
comment, She grew pale and her eyes
darkened ominously. One would have in.
ferrsd that she had received some affront
but restrained her indignation. Finally she
ToBe and took the Journal in her hand.