The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1886-02-25
HELENA, ARK.
TWO CONTIGUOUS POSTOFFICES
OF THE SAME NAME
People I'm Texas Rad Arkansas
-Ihe High Wafer.
looRRzsPoxpEycE OF rHE APPEAL

HELENA, ARK, February 23.-TeX,
arkana, Tex, and Texarkana, Ark.
have a postofiice muddle that fol-
something unusual and unique takes
the cake, and lays the Helena post
office controversy out in the cold.
The situation there is this: The post
office for both towns, which in reality
is one, is situated on the Arkansas
side. The Texas Congressman con-
ceived the brilliant idea of also hay
ing a postoiIice on the Texas side of
the fence. The matter was agitated,
an applicant for the position filed his
petition and was appointed by the
President, and arrangements made to
start, on short notice, a TeXarkana,
Tex, postofiice. Texarkana, Ark,
however, was not asleep. They went
TO work TO prevent the confirmation OF
the Texas man with so much vigor
that there is a possibility OF them
having accomplished their object.
The arguments advanced by the Ar
kansans in opposition to the
scheme are as unique as the
situation. For instance, they say:
Suppose you do get your
office over there in Texas. Why con-
found, it YOU won't know but what
you have got mail over here in Ar
kansas, and we won't know but what
we have something over in Texas, and
it will Just keep man busy running
back and forth. That would be a nice
state of affairs for a man to shoulder
on a muddy, sloppy day. Now,
wouldn't it? We suggest for the good
people of that prosperous little city
that a good solution of the question
would be for the postoftice to be
erected on the line, and the two post
masters-ii the Texas man can Sc
cure his confirmation-run the con-
Germ in copartnership."
A monument of eternal gratitude
should be erected to Miss Winthrop
of New York and McAllister Laugh
tan of Washington for propagating
the custom of courtseying instead OF
handshaking as a salutation.
Oh! that the custom may become
popular and that these two eminently
divine ladies may come to Arkansas
and aid in its introduction before the
campaign of 1886 gets under full head
way. The poor muchly "squose"
hand of the dear voter at the hands of
the festive candidate calls aloud for its
introduction. The voices of our dainty
darlings as their little lily-white hands
are fondly clasped in the horny hands
of their demonstrative young fellows
yells for its introduction We might
60 on and enumerate the different
classes and conditions of Arkansans
that are clamoring for its introduction,
but deem it unnecessary. We guar
antee, should the much needed re-
form fair propagandees deem it ex-
pedient, to carefully distribute any
quantity they may send to Arkansas.
Mr. Louis Z. Doyle, one of our popu-
lar cotton buyers, is dangerously i'll
with the bronchitis at the Pacific
Hotel.
The clerk of the steamer Will s..
Hays, upon its arrival in this port yes
terday, had City Marshall Lingg TO
arrest two white men on board of the
boat, charging them with having
stolen some watches and other pro-
perty. A search of the men, however,
revealed nothing, and they were dis
charged.
The completion of the Arkansas
Midland from Clarendon TO Little
Rock is being earnestly advocated by
the State papers. This road com
pleted, and a transfer here by the
Louisville, New Orleans and Texas
railroad would be great feeder i1r
Memphis.
The Mississippi river is just nine
feet below high water mark. Some of
the river sages predict higher water
than in 1882 this year, but of course
they know just about as much about
it as the man in the moon. The con-
dition of the levees, however, is gen
orally very good on both sides of the
river, and the planters do not appre-
bend much danger.