The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-02-13
IN A eALLoP.
That Is the Rate at which Bill Brady
Is Fastening TO the Poor House.

Ehat Is tile Kate at which Bill Brady |
Is fastening TO the POOr-House.
Coming down from Northern Michi-
gan, one morning, the train was crowd.
ed with lumbermen going to a new
camp. Them were all stout, healthy
looking fellows, quite opgh in their app
pearance and talk, with long hair and
unshaven faces. About daylight they
began to eat their breakfast from all
sorts of food they had with them, and
the united strength of the mixed odors
suddenly liberated from cheese, onions,
Goldfish, dried herring and so on was
nearly strong enough to stop the train.
About seven o'clock the breakfast sta
ton was reached, and one Of the lum-
bermen went into the hotel along with
the other passengers, and did his ut
most in the limited time at his com.
mand to bankrupt the keeper of the es-
Enlistment.
When the train was again in motion
a savage looking fellow, with jaw
strong enough to grind glass, who was
devouring great strips OF Goldfish and
wiping his mouth on his coat sleeve
after every bite, peered out from the
wilderness of hair that surrounded his
black eyes, upon the man across the
way, who was picking his teeth with
jack-Rnife, and said
''Faow is this, Billp You hain't been
equanderin' your substance on a store
breakfast, hev YEP"
well, l reckon / jest hev, Pete"
said Bill, with look of Importance that
could not be expressed in print
what do they tax Teller for warm
bilt grub in these parts now, BillP" con-
tinued Pete, as he tore off a strip of cod
fish big enough to make a meal for a
small family.
"a half dollars what they lifted me
for, Pete"
"Did you say half dollar, BillP"
That's what said Pete. y
"Do you mean to tell me that you he'd
to pay half dollar jest for eaten,
BillP"
That's what I'm q sayin', Pete.
That's Jest what he'd to do"
"All that money throwed away jest
for little grub! Didn't you have any
bitters, Billp'
mot smell, Pete
Nor no segarP"
mo, Pete"
"DidA't you make no bargain Tor the
trash beforehand, BillP"
"Of course did"
ut wasn't a gouge game they come
on you, them"
mo, knowed what was a-doin'
afore buttered biscuit"
"And you knowed you'd hev to fork
over half dollar jest for eatin', did
you BillP"
"Why, certainly, Pete"
"Well, my goodness, Bill! What on
this arth do you mean? A half dol
lar Jest for eatin'! jest for eatin', mind
We; no segar nor no bitters! All throwed
away in one lump, and nothin' to show
for it ten minutes afterwards! Bill
Brady do you know what you're a
doin'P"
I'm dom well enough, Pete"
mo you hain't, Bill You're a gall
lopin' toward the poor-house jest as
tight as you kin jump, and if some of
your friends don't interfere and git a
garden appinted for you, goodness
only knows what'll become of. you. A
half dollar jest for eatin', and that,
too, all at one grab! Bill, yer brains is
a turnin' to water; I'm act'lly 'fraid
they be. Look at that Goldfish, will
your" holding it up by the tail. 81
t only paid a quarter for it week ago,
and it'll stand me another week o. SO
, yit jest like nothin', and yit you'll
throw way four bits all at one whack
for few bites in tavern as onconcern-
ed as though money growed on trees.
Bill, you're darned sight bigger fool'n
I ever took you to be, and that's a
saying heaps. "-Lige BrOOn, IN Chi
cGgo Ledger.