The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1886-10-06
AMERICAN CONSULSHlPS.
Offices to Which Distance Very Frequentl
Lends Enchantment.

oaces to Which Distance Very Frequently
Lends Enchantment.
But Consulship sounds very big
till you get there. There are innumer-
able islands in the South Pacific, and
there tribes who declare war, fight.
publish proclamations of defiance, and
seem altogether extraordinarily heroic.
The United States sent a Consul to one
group lately, wherein the ideal was
grand-immense. Kneeling subjects in
the shape of American citizens; sup
plant chiefs and trembling Kings, with
all the attendant gorgeousness and dig
nifty, filled his mind eye. He ''busted"
himself in an outfit, laid in an elegant
dress suit, pair of patent leather
shoes, white ties, white gloves and an
enormous diamond pin for his shirt
front. Thus equipped, he sailed sway
| with all the conscious pride of repre-
| sentative Of grand Republic From
the port he landed at he was conveyed
to small sailing vessel to the point of
officialdom. AS the ship entered the
offing, the flag of the United States
gayly flying at the masthead, the white
residents Of the island came off in a
small boat to welcome him. The new
official received them affably, was quite
amiable, and did not put on too many
| airs.
"Come on shore with us and we Il
present you to the King" said the well
Corners.
1.-THE King! I can't go up to the
palace in this dress. My trunks are in
the hold. l can't present myself to the
King like this. ;"
ooh, come with u.s. That's all right.
You can put on all your tinery and call
on him again. He's waiting for you. "
"Waiting for me?''
"Yes. We told him the new Consul
was coming"
'And he's waiting for me?. don't
know what to do. / can't keep his
Majesty waiting, but I can hardly go up
in this dress.
"Oh, that will do He won't mind. "
And they tumbled him into the boat
and took him on shore. If you've
ever tried to step out of boat on a
shelving beach, you know how it is
yourself. He did it. He stepped clear
into the water and went rolling Here
was a quandary. The residents gathered
the wet Consul up, took him to a
store, and fitted him into twelve-dol-
lar-hand-me-down suit, which didn't fiji
him. 1t took long time to argue him
into going then. But they would have
it, and off they went
"Look here! don't feel comfortable
at all going up to the palace to make
my first appearance as Consul in this
miserable condition. Where is the
palacep Are we near it?"
"Quite. There it is. -
He looked and saw conical mud hu,
with two square holes on opposite sides
and gentle smoke tloated up through
the point of the roof, which was appar
entity vent-hole.
"What?''
THAT'S the palace. The King anc
Queen are in there waiting for you. .
They entered. In the center, in what
looked like kind of mire, sat a fat
black, dignified fellow, whose protec
ton from the inclemency of the weather
was whisp of cotton tied around hi
waist. BY his side sat small, darl
lady of acquiescent, contented mein
whose toilet had all fallen around he
waist, too; at least, she hadn't any any
where else.
"Hullo!' said the newcomer in thu
language of the country. '.Hullo, OLE
chap. how are you?" Then more pc
litely: .'This is the new Consul from
America"
The new Consul, who had been prac
,, ticing his bow ever since his application
; had been filed, made an obeisance, whel
a pig suddenly ran in by one entrance
skipped between his genuflections, land
ed him head first in the mire and skippe,
out by the opposite hole in the hut. AL
d gn;ty was outraged, but the KIM
didn't mind it, nor did the numerou
royal family who lay around promiscu
ously without any toilet at all. THAT
all right, old boy" said the residents t
the embarrassed Consul. "We've go
!, up ball for you tonight, and you'll
,, see the King and Queen in style there.
!. So the Consul got his trunk out, go
his dress suit, his white tie, his whit
gloves and his patent feathers ready an
presented himself at the 'hoter' wher
the ball was to be. The hotel was
!, wooden frame with mud roof. TIL
,, King and Queen entered in grand style
with little more toilet of loose kind
> and the new Consul came IN with tn
Kings sister, noble Princess, and the
,, all had royal night of it. Before til
.. new Consul had gone to bed in tn
morning the Princess Royal returne
from the palace, paid him a special Ca
!, and solicited his washing He does nc
= look for any dignity in disposition nov
. He is looking for profit. A man ougf
. to gain something from being Consu
;, San Francisco Chronicle.
DECAY OF MONARCHY.