The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1886-11-05
HUMOR. OF THE NEGRO.
THE PRACTICAL JOKES OF; THE COL
oRED MAN OF THE SOUTH.


How, When, Where and Why He Laughs
A Prisoners Plea Before the Mayor
An Old Preachers Wit-Jokes That Are
Thoroughly Enjoyed.
The genuine southern negro is deficient in
wit, but opulent in humor. The humor
must be of the broadest kind for him to
thorougly enjoy it Practical jokes are his
profound delight. They are not elusive,
and are easily understood. Sambo not
only laughs himself, but is source Of
laughter in others. In this he is public
benefactor. He gilds many an hour that
otherwise would be very gloomy. His gro
tesque looks when under excitement, his
profound interest in abstruse questions, and
the curious fatality with which he mixes
information obtained from the higher walks
of life make him bas relief on the walls of
time. Surely we are blessed beyond our
deserts. In return for his freedom and the
inestimable privilege of selling his vote he
makes us laugh. He laughs, too, and
laughs best There may be an element of
languor in our laughter, but his is hearty,
rollicking, and uncontrolled.
AS the originator of sense of humor in
others, the negro is a success. One of them
gravely regarding the efforts of his en-
ployer to open a burglar proof safe, broke
the silence with BOSS, you done los de com
position, haint you?"
The same negro was the butt of the little
town he honored with his society. Very
fond of "red eye," he was continually in
trouble with the law 1t was his boast that
he had built all the sidewalk from the hotel
to certain cross street two blocks away.
The fines collected from him had been ap-
piled to that purpose. Arrested for being
drunk and disorderly, he was bailed, the
trial being put off until the next morning.
Some of the young white men OF the place
told him that if he would plead justifabie
homicide the mayor would let him off with
out fine or imprisonment On the morning
of the trial, the court room was crowded
The mayor a venerable old gentleman Of
somewhat inaammatory temperament sat
enthroned in awful dignity. The prisoner
at the bar looked little bit shaky at first,
but seeing SO many of his white friends pre-
sent he regained his confidence and assumed
the attitude of one who knows his rights,
and knowing dares maintain them Said
the mayor
Henry, you are charged with being
drunk and disorderly. What have you got
to say?"
"Boss," was the reply. "Ipieads 'stifable
homeyside," and he beamed benignantly on
his honor.
There was an uproarious shout of laughter,
in which the mayor was forced to join
Henry escaped that time. Sent to the drug
store after some tlncture of cantharides, the
nearest he could come to it was, "distink-
shun peradies" A day or two afterward
he was after some lob dis we're peculiar
intment" Mercurial was the word that had
thrown him.
AS A PRACTICAL JOKER.
AS practical joker the negro has no SUI
perior, and if the joke is one that will
cause distress he is so mueh the more salts
fed. At Lake City, some years ago. some
of them caught a hawk and dipped it in
kerosene oil Then touching a lighted
match to the neck feathers, they tossed tile
bird into the air. 1t made brilliant spec
tacle for moment and ther1, with an ag-
ognizing squawk, came to the ground The
negroes were delighted beyond measure,
and rolled over each other in paroxysms of
laughter.
Sitting or standing around a camp fire
along the track of one of the railroads were
several section hands talking over ditfe ent
good meals they had enjoyed Sitting cross
legged on a horse was a young negro listen
ing eagerly to the description of savory
viands At last one touched upon the coon,
and the others, recognizing superior soul,
became silent
Take er nice fat coon" said the sable or
ator, "pa'bile i'm, roas' i'm, sarb 'imTup,
wild plenty grady an sweet taters." 7
Here the negro on the horse could stand it
Il L,l ell
ment of the speaker his nostrils tapping
widely as if he would catch the scent of the
coon, his lips working conyulsively. Nov
he broke in with, Hush you mouf you fool
niggah, er III fall right ofan dis hoss"
The nearest approach to wit on the part
of the negro was that OF the oil preacher at
a revival Hearing some incoherent noss
In the rear of the room that disturbed the
pious proceedings, he exclaimed angriy:
What fool niggah is dat prayin' down by
de dos"
Came the reply: "It's Brudder Johnson"
We'll let some niggah pray what's better
'quainted wild de Lord"
johnson being q notorious chicken thief,
the parson didn't have faith III his prayers
1t was mu respected negro prea her
stationed at Possum Trot who a>tonish ID Iii,
congregation one bright an Jelutifnl Sun-
day by announcing soiemniy: My .rens,
dar am TWO ways from di, worl. One am
the broai an narrer roal dat lea ter he'll,
an de odder am de narrer an broad road
dat lead ter damnatioL"
There was breathless silence for mo-
ment, and then one adly frightened coon,
whose wool was rapidly un@inking ejacu-
ated: well, eff dat de case, dis yere
niggah am gwine-ter take TO dc woods. "
SOURCE OF EXTREME DELIGHT.
To see a white man left by the train i;
source of unfailins delight to the negroes
who hang around the depots At Live Oak
one day well-dressed stranger jumped from
the train and ran over to the bar room to
take a nibble at the worm that never dieth
The train pulled out just as he was coming
from the saloon He made dash for the
rear platform of the last coach, missed it,
and went down on his knees on the ties His
flask was broken and his clothes torn. The
train stopped for him few yards away,
and he limpcd on board, followed by the
derisive yells and laughter of the colored
men. 1t is standing joke among them yet
how adat white man got hut tryin fer ter
jump on de kyahs." The joke they
thoroughly enjoy must be seasoned with
distress and modification to others
KNOW Vi d AcSI0 OoAnS was bAo oHSpIlhS
of the genius Of a negro gambler, who had
some local reputation as doctor. To him
came compatriot suffering from a dis
ordered stomach and sick headache
"Take seidlitz powder" said the gambler,
and out of the generosity of his heart he
handed the sick man one, winking at the
bystaniers as he did So -" -
aHow shall take hit?n was the query.
"Mix one in this glass" was the reply,
aand drink it down quick. Then mix the
other one in the same glass and drink it
down quick, too" The negro did as di-
rected. OF course, when the powders met
in his stomach there was q commotion.
The gas nearly strangled the poor fellow,
and poured out Of his nose, eyes, and ears.
This caused so much laughter that crowd
gathered around, wondering what was up
One old, gray haired negro didn't recover
his equilibrium for over an hour. --Hamii
ton Jay in New York Sun.
tr45t ts.s = = Z. r. IL *
The Craze of Carpet Hsedding."
Lawn planting is new craze, and is known
as carpet bedding !" The ornamentation Is ac-
romplished by the use Ut a low growing class
of plants, which, when planted, grow no higher
than the lawn. Designs are made in every
conceivable pattern There Is great variety
In shading, many possessing q rich metallic
lustsr, So that there is no difficulty in forming
beds resembling carpets spread on the green
Ia wn aad having tinrs more beautiful than
art rAss give. Chicago Times. 8 a4
s454ess..ss :
Thrown From a Nightmare.