The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-08-13
ITS DRAWBACKS.

ITS DRAWBACKS.
Bascom the ssTroubles" Connected
with the Liquor Traf1lc-Still lie Thinks
He Has ssDun Well Enufs' in Spite of
Them.
Petroleum V. Nasby," of ''Confed-
rit X Roads" recently proposed to
Bascom that he take him into partner
ship in his ''grosery" at that place. To
his surprise the proposition was re-
jected, on the ground that Bascom
didn't think the trade would stand two
such industrious drinkers. In the
course of the conversation Bascom re-
marked as follows, as reported by
'Nasby'' to the Toledo Blade:
"Likker sellin looks like nifty
profitable biznis, but it amt alluz. 1t
hez its drorbax. 700 see yer custom
ers don't live long enuff to make the
biznis CT profitable ez it shood be- Jest
ez 700 git a man fairly fixed so that he
hez to hev his likker regler, he gifts so
that he won't work, and CONSISTENTLY
don't hev money to satisfy mis- appe-
tite. That's the trubble. Wat good to
me is a man with healthy longin for
stimulant, and no money to pay for
it? Eff / Good find llkker witch wood
make man drink without destroyin
his capassity for laber, it wood do,
for then he Good earn money every
day, and spend it every mite in my
bar, and it wood be pleasant But
it don't work that way. Eff a
man gifts drunk Saturday mite and stays
drunk all day Sunday he isn't with a
straw for labor Monday, and eff he gifts
down to biznis by Thursday he is doing
perty well. SO you see half his time is
lost, and his capassity fur payin fur
likker is curtaled by the very likker he
drinks. This Dustin a mans sistem by
stimulants cuts me out good fifty per
cent. NV wat there shood be in the biz
mis-.
''And then another trouble is that
every now and then regler customer
gifts a foolish spasm, and goes and
squanders part of his earnings on his
wife and children. / see only vester-
day the little girl nv one NV my best
customers go by in a moo calico
dress and a moo pair NV shoes,
wlch / know he he'd paid for, for he
hasn't bin'in my place for four days.
And the money wlch he paid for them
shoes and that caliker dress wood hev
bin in my till by this time eff he hedn't
squandered it in tibet onjestifable way.
Wat rite he'd he to do it? Ell his little
gal wanted moo shoes and dress why
didn't his wife git the money, by
washin and SIGH? [ hate to see moo
shoes and moo cahker dresses on the
little gals NV my customers. 1t is list
so much robbed from me.
"And then the trouble we hev with
likker don't end with this sort NV
thing. When man hez drunk too
much he won't work. The appetite
for likker ought to end with a mans
capassity for payin fur it, but it don't
He must hev it whether he works or
not. And so he Gums in and demands
credit, and wat are you going to do?
Eff you refuse him likker The poor devil
mite git his stumick heeled, and mite,
possibly, come to a pint wher he wood
emit want it at all, witch wood be ROOM
Gus. So 700 hev to give it to him on
tick, to keep his stumick properly in
famed, so that when he does git to
work he will continner to contribbit
Inezmuch es wat he earns when he is
at work comes to me anyhow, he never
hez any surplus to pay off old scores,
and the result is loss NV wat 700 hev
advanced. A skore wunst run up al
luz stays run up.
Another trouble with us is the fites
witch is inseperable from likker The
breakin Nv chares, and glasses, and
SIGH, don't count, but when one NV
yoor best customers gifts his he'd
broken SO he hez to stay in bed week
and can't git to yoor bar at all, that is
hart rendin. And when they git to
shootin'! / shell never forgit how | felt
when / saw 'Lish Pogram, the Deekin's
Oldest son, curled up on this floor,
with hole thro his forehead, with
Pete Gavitt, Issacker's oldest brother,
standin over him with his pistol
smokin. 'Lish Pogram wuz ded ez a
door male, and he wuz with to me at
leest three hundred dollars yeer.
And to finish up the disaster, they sent
Pete to the penitenshary for life, for
KILN NV him, and Their went another
three hundred dollars a yeer. Pete
committed sooicide before he he'd bin
Their a yeer, for he and Lish he'd alluz
bin good trends and, KILN NV him when
he wuz drunk kinder preyed onto his
mind.
However, hev dun we'll enuff and
L
most nv the farms hereabouts, which,
while they don't pay any interest on
their notes, it amounts to the same
thing, as they spend all the none
they make at my bar anyhow. | hev
mortgage on their laber, that is the
laber nv their wives and children.
''The reglers die too soon, but Their
is the children comm up, and that is
shoor resource. They claim the rite
to go wher Their dads 60, and they cum.
They come shoor. And CT Their stom- |
icks is fresh, for few yeers they kin
stand a great dcel NV likker, and still |
fact that yer old customers die off nifty
fast; but the young 'uns cum in to |
take Their place, and they sort O. keep |
the thing runnln.
''BuS yoo'd never do fur the biznis,
Parson, never 1t requires, to keep a
bar at the Corners, cool head, and |
absloot abstinence, till after the bar is
closed. 700 want to know who to
trust and who not, you want to know
when to interfere in a fife, and when
not. and you want, above all, not to
drink up yocr cappytle yooself. Yood
never do fur the bizness, never"