Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-03-26
ODDS AND ENDS.

pher, but she IS prOVerOlaily q
clothes observer.
An artists cherub is a good deal
like a boarding house turkey-all
head and wings.
Teacher Of Bible class" In
what book of the Bible is the ex-
preston found, "Allaesh is grass ~
Student-"Timothy.7
"a man never loses anything by
politeness." At all events, there
are o great many men who never
do or never intend to.
The shortest route to a mans
heart is said to be through his
stomach. In that case a good cook
book is the most reliable marriage
| guide.
A Brooklyn woman is keeping in
a book list Of things she ought
to purchase, but cannot afford to
wear She calls the book her
ought-to.buy-ography.
a Chicago man made his wife a
nice New Years present this time.
He had all her divorces elegantly
bound in red morocco, with an illu-
minated title page.
The custom of kissing babies is
being Justly censured these days.
II is cowardly to kiss the poor
helpless things. We'd rather take
somebody our size.
Mrs. Bunker (of Boston al
think Miss Waldo was the most
perfectly dressed lady in the room.
Mrs. Emerson-"She has exquisite
taste. Did she wear jewelry ~ Mrs.
neutrality-suspicious. only"
In ballroom Mrs. Brazsn-
"Ah, DR.. Pillsbury, see you are
looking at my new dress. 1t is
very low necked, | know but real
lyIwhat do you think ofit?7 "Pheu.
monia, madam, pheumoniaw
There is a man in Philadelphia
so mean that when asked to join in
singing "Old IInndred,' churns
of "Ninety and Nine" instead. He
says he has got to make one per
cent, anyway, these hard times. r.
Boston lady TO policeman.)
why did YOU shoot that poor little
/ dog Was he disoFdered in INTEL
lect and beside himself with violent
excitement Policeman-'No, mum.
That dog was mad.T .o
Bobby-"Papa, asked mamma
why you were so bald, and all |
could get out OF her was that she
was your fourth wife, Papa
"Did She say that Bobby Bobby
eyes, indeed, papa. Say, papa,
what difference does q fourth wife
make in u bald-head Y Papa
$40 difference, Bobby"
81 don't wonder that people talk
OF the good old tIme,' said the
president Of a gas company. CAT
one time it was dark for three days
and three nights on stretch, in
she land of Egypt. What a big
/ thing it would be for the gas COM
psnics if we could have something
like that in these daysw
\ little black boy stood with his
small sister at the edge Of water
lily pond in Florida. "Ephium,"
said the girl, "what makes so
many cat-tails grow in dis heah
pon'W "Doan you know p inquir-
ed Epbium; "why dey grow up from
kittens dat people hez drowned in
de pom, of course?'
There is nothing more admirable
in public man than the courage
Of his religious convictions and
practices. 1t was ex-Alderman
Walsh who remarked once in the
presence Of his fellow.members OF
the city government: "Every night
get down on my knees and say
my little prayer, and | don't care
a-who sees me.'
"This natural gas is wonderful
thing remarked Mrs. Fangle, as
she sat before the fire at Mrs.
Snagg's. ayes, indeed, it isl re-
piled Mr.. S. 81 wonder how they
get 1t, and why they never had it
/ hofornw Mndprd | don't know a
thing about it. never studied
astronomy"
John-"Clara, | must correct
your statements. YOu are entirely
wrong. There is lack of verisim'
ilitude-" Clara-"Now, John, you
are getting out of your depth. Are
you sure you know what you are
talking abOutln John (hotly)-