The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-11-11
THE MERRY SIDE

The Republican steed in Jackson County was
badly afflicted with scratches.
80
Whisky not only makes a fool of man, but
makes him tell it to everybody he meets.
-
Wonder if the Democrats wouldn't like to
have electioa day changed back to October.
A doggery-keeper with a blue badge and a red
nose, reminds one of the Devil wearing white
neck-tie.
Just we told you. The Democratic hide
will now be sent over to the Penitentiary and
be tanned.
The tobacco crop is all right, but at last ac-
counts the Democratic party was badly FROST
bitten in Virginia.
An exchange said "the name of Bein iger is a
chestnut" That's the trouble-we undertook
to set down on it'll!
The Democrats are beginning to get inquisi-
tive about 1888. The Republicans are getting
too lively for them.
1t is agonizng to see doggery-keeper griev-
ing over the waste of young mems money. He
wants to keep it for them.
least you can't convince Virginia Democrat it
is so, as long as Bill Malone lives.
That's it, drinker! Go about with your own
rear looking like the side of sycamore tree
but dress the dogger-bloat in broadcloth.
OF course, no one has any ill will toward the
doggery-keeper as man. Neither would he
have against the rattle-snake, If it couldn't
bite.
"Ah," said the landlord, "politics makes
strange bedfellows." $50 does drip remarked
a boarder who had tried one of the landlords
beds.
Young man, reflect, when you are taking
your money to doggery, that you are work
ing to earn money TO dress hog in broad
cloth.
The poor, helpless orphan of two hundred
pounds weight would have to go to work, boys
if you quit drinking. Wouldn't it be pity?
There are drinking men in Jackson who have
given enough money to the internal doggeries
to have purchased half dozen nice homes.
stGan't you 90 something for the boys? said
a seedy drunken Ioater to us on the street few
days ago. He wanted money, to pack to sa-
loon, and give to a hog.
"Ive got (hic) more inf1ooush N any man N
thsh (hic) town!' said the "retired" politician.
THE next moment he was vainly trying to bor-
row ten cents to buy drink.l
ga Pittsburg beet weighs 1719 Ibs."-Ironton
Register.
What's the matter with him, that he should
81, u, xv0 ho oct III the
mountains?
Young man, if the Lord had wanted you to
be an idiot, he would have made you that way
You cannot improve your condition by filling
up on beer and whisky.
This seems to have been campaign OF sur
prizes. "He that expected nothing" was not
always disappointed, but he that expected
something, often was.
With John Sherman Black Jack Logan
the Republicans can scoop the platter in 1855
The Democratic administration will be re-
moved for cause.
Young gent, don't think that y our girl love
to smell you when you've been drinking. For
a dollar she can get an old vinegar-barrel and
have the same smell with her always.
Right after the election ought to be good
time to start religious revival. Ceartain 1t Is
that q great many men are greatly in need OF
prayer about that time.
Many young m an fails to realize that when
he is causing his mother tears he is at the same
time piling fuel on the fires of hell. And he
will tna ina wi q will HhOtO
1t.
There need be NJ more dispuGng with Third
Party Democrats in Jackson County. They
came squarely out for the Democratic County
ticket most of it.
Frank Hnrd wants to follow Sunset Cox's
footsteps, and go to New York and run tor Con-
gress. It's q terrible thing when an Ohio man
has to emigrate to get office.
Democratic friend was poking at an old
citizen of this place a few days ago the fact
that the Democratic party was running soldiers
on its ticket-for instance Gen. Denver and
others.
"Oh, WE'LL" said the old citizen, "I don't go
much on that 1t is not always recommenda-
IL.
The Galiipolis Journal says the Governor is
a hero because the State has denounced the
Skin Cane business. Yes, sir, if it hadn't been
for that Skin Cane business, the State would
have-gone two thousand stronger Republican
than it did.
number of Third Party Democrats at Ada,
Ohio, placed pail of cider in the room at the
voting place, and several INDUCED. But some
brutal Republican slppieu pint of alcohol in
to the pail, and the politicians were soon going
home like a lot of blind horses. Democracy is
bound to assert itself.
Maj Camp, in illustrating the action of alco-
hol on the brain, poured some acOhol upon
raw egg, when it cooked and thickened the egg.
This was startling, of course, but the same
point was illustrated some years ago by dog
gery-keeper at this place, in more direct and
forcible manner. This fellow astonished some
of the men in the room by breaking an egg and
deliberately swallowing it. Then calling the
loungers about him, he said:
"Now I'm goin' to show you how to cook an
egg." He poured out half tumbler full of
whisky, swallowed it, then ran his finger down
his throat until he gagged, and threw up the
egg-CooKED! This may not be considered alto
gether a fair test. however, for the man was an
old topper, and his stomach was doubtless fiery
enough to roast brickbat.
"n "
An old citizen of this place tells good anec-
dote which is said to have occurred at Buckeye
Furnace in this County, some years ago-a good
one whether exactly correct or not: An old Ger
man-whom we will call B was doing busi-
ness with the company, and was settling up one
day when the Clerk by mistake overpaid him
to the amount of one dollar. Some days after
ward the old gentleman, who lived some dis
tance away, came into the office and laid down
a dollar.
"What's that for?" asked the Clerk.
"You oferpaid me!' was the reply.
"Well, you could have let it go, and we would
never have known it,
Jaw, ya-a-s, could, but L hat dream.
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