Middletown transcript., 1886-09-30
'M,ht M;ra,tstrtpt
Thursday Afternoon, sept. 80. 1856.
VARIETIES.

WHY is IT that the sale Of
Hoods Sarsaparilla continues at such
a arapidly Increasing rate y? Il g :
Ist: Because of the positive cbra-
tive value Of Hoods Sarsaparilla
itself. b 3g4s sag aiil5gl9
I'd: Because of the conclusive ey-
idence Of remarkable cures effected
by it, unsurpassed and seldom
equaled by any other medicine.
Send to C. /. Hood & Co., Lowell, ,
Mass, for book containing many
statements of cures. .a3,n-tA
- Lawyer (to timid young ~dhss
an)-Have youerer appeared asswit
ness in suit before ? Young woman
(blushing)EY-yes, sir, Of course
Lawyer Please state to the jury fust
what suit it was. Young woman
(with more confdepcelxIt. yssA q
nuns yelling, shirred dbwk the 'front.'
and trimmed with lovslyehlgsg gitb
hat to match-Judge Trapping vio-
lently Order in theicourt l'-'Hart-
ford Journal. bf;,eaE a.
- Mr.. J. E. Bonsal, New Bloom
field, Pa, clerk of the several courts
of Perry Co., Pa, was afflicted with
rheumatism for more than thirty
years. After spending hundreds of
dollars with different physicisnss iabd
trying every known remedy without
benefit, he used St. Jacobs Oil,
which effected an entire cure. hi,asi ,..S
She-James, do you know you put
three buttons on the plate in church
today? He-Yes, / knew what Il
was about. She-James, perhaps
you don't know thatI bought those
buttons yesterday for my new dress, \
and paid so cents apiece for them.
He--Alas! !! What have / done?-
Tid-Bits.
N cAro~so Blood Elixir is the oni,
NGNGS = Blood Remedy guaran-
teed. n isa positive cure for Ulcers, Efup-
tionsor Syphilitic Poisoning. 1t purifes the
whole system, and banishes all Rheumatic
and Nsnralgic pains. We guarantee It.
J. GAYLoRD BRAGDoN.DRUGGLSr.
Chicago Girl-aOh we just
dote on Miss Cleveland. Do you
know what she call. Chicago ?" Oma-
ha Girl-"No, / haFe. not heard"
"The Western Venice Don't you
think it applicable r. Well, I have
been in Venice when the Canals were |
rather low, and they do smell some
thing alike Omaha World.
Ar END 10 BoNE ScRApING.--l
Edward Shepherd, Of Harrisburg, ILL.,, |
says: Having received so much ben
eft from Electric Bitters, feel it my |
duty to let suffering humanity know
it. Have had d running sore on my
leg for eight years; my doctors told
me ! would have to have the bone
scraped or leg amputated. / used in
stead, three bottles of Electric Bitters
and Seven boxes Bucklen's Afnica
Salve, and my leg is now sound and
WE'LL" Electric Bitters are sold at
fifty cents o hottie, and Bucklen's Ar
MICA Salye at 25c. per box by DR.. j.
Gibson Carroll.
"The Washington letter hasn't
come yet, said foreman of a country
paper to the editor" what shall put
in its placer" "Oh run in that col
umn Of Forty Cures for Group and |
Mumps' that we ran the last time. 1t /
may not be1quite SO fresh asI the Wash
ington letter but the subscribers will |
find it less painful reading. -Estel-
&01>-o the Children. They are es-
tO0N ~ pecialiy liable to sudden
Colds, Coughs, Group, Whooping Cough,
etc. We guarantee Ackers English
Remedy q positive cure A1t saves
hours Of anxious Watching Sold BY
J. GAYLORD BRAGDoN DRVGGIST
1.-THE walls are getting very dingy.
looking" said the managers wife
aDon't you think we had better paper
the house this fall ?" mo ma'am,'
replied her spouse whose thoughts
were on his business. 1--WE won't
paper the house. I've joined the
against free tickets, and
I'm going to stick to my principles"
Merchant Traveller.
The sweetest thing that ever
grew beside human door" was little
May, until she took to having head
aches. For time she lost her beau
", but one bright day her papa
bought q bottle of Salvation Oil, and
10 she is sweet and pretty as ever.
= Time is money, but health is hap
piness. Ifyou have a bad cold or
cough use DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
It will cure you every time. Price
% cts. N
Prisoner. you are charged with
having created a disturbance, and the
,ficer says be arrested you, totally
Trunk, engaged in attempting to
clean out saloon. What have you
o sayf' /" / was not1drunk, your
ionor," y" Why you're not sober
yet. IF you had not been drunk
would you have attempted 10 Clean
,ut' saloon 7" 8 Your honor. / am
Iuhiectt 10 iits. Of rysipelaaIof The I'M,
lgination. | imagined | could do
Washington Critic, ;,eii 4. ,...... saaii
GNM,t SAcee ,asgs;s,a;, nigsss 7 the be
thousands suffering from Asthma, Con-
Coughs, ETC.. Did You ever try
Acker's English Remedy It is the best
known for all Lung Troubles,
old on positive guarantee at 10c., SOC.
y Cd YLORD- -BRA RAGD0Nr.DBUEGLBF
. ~
Your son is rather small for his
Ige, ma am" '.Yes, / suppose he is"
I presume you hear such remarks as
nine frequently made r. "Oh yes !:
,ut ! am rather glad Of it myself.
Hou know, if he is q small man there
nay be a chance fof him It'd 60 10
ongress some day."SsAnd .:the fond
mother smiled as the sfroked the uf- /,
hin adurly pate. Peoria Cali gi
Mr.. Geo. W. Waits, General
sgent Freight DEPARTMENT. Union j
'aoifc Railway, SAM Fraucisco, Cab,