davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
A LIVELY BEE.
The Excitement Caused in a Barber Shop
by the Work of a Busy Little Honey"

49,
Excitement Caused in a Barber Shop
by the Work of a Busy Little Honey.
Maker.
While the German proprietor of the
barber-shop was shaving a fat man, and
saying: cit vas a warm day, and if it
don't get cooler We melts,'a bee came
and buzzcd around the ear of the fat
man, who became and slapped
at it ~viciously. Then the bee scared
around in a short circle, and cndeavorcd
to make a landing, and rest on the Ger
man BARRIERS nose, who in turn wiped
the air with both hands in a foolish at
tempt to kill the annoying insect, but
the bee darted at him, and he lodged
behind the chair and yelled to the shop
boy: CLANS, come here right away and
make the bee go away Hans obeycd
instructions, and seeing the bee hum
ming lazily around, he opened on it
with u wet towel, and the first swash he
made knocked a couple of globes off the
gas-lixturc, and the bee rctaliated by
singing him on the lip. This excited
llitilS, VIII CllttI you iLOuilo JIG oiOP oA-
ter the bee, and worked the towel SO
vigorously that he succeeded in whack-
ing every customer that occupied a
chair. and caused an iratc Frenchman
to exclaim: "Sacre! what for you hcet
me when you knock at re lectle bug.
| Aha! by gar, don't do Eat some more"
About this time the bee flew along the
line of chairs, and coming to a bald
headed man tried to glazc around on his
pate, but the attending barber struck at
him with a hair-brush, whercupon the
bee hit him under the left ear, and then
charged the whole shop. 1t buzzed in a
way that indicated it meant business,
and after tapping the Frenchman on the
nose, the German proprietor over the
eye, and the fat mar on the chin, it
managed to array the wounded men
against it. The %Frcnchman, who was
wild with rage, clutchcd a busting brush,
the fat man a broom and the German bar
Der an umbrella. Each man kept his eye
fixed on the bee, and nothing else, and
struck at it with all their strength. The
first vollcy of blows aimed at the agile
honey-maker resulted in the Frcnchman
being knocked down by the fat mans
broom, Whllc the barber peeled all the
skin off his by the umbrella. The
excitement was so great and the fight
was so hot that neither the barber nor
the fat man noticed that the Frenchman
had received their blows, hit with their
eyes still fixed on the bee, and installing
the yells of the PROSTATE Frenchman for
encouraging shouts, they continued to
strike at the bee with all their strength,
which invariably missed the bee and hit
the unfortunate man on the floor, and
had not a policeman, attracted by bowls
and the sound of breaking glass, entered
the shop he would have been beaten to
pulp. 1t is not necessary to say hat the
bee, as 500 as it grew tired of punching
the heads of the whole crowd, escaped
without a bruise, and left the German
barber and the fat man to explain mat
tiers with the unfortunate Frenchman.-
WcStern Rural.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
CANADIAN VOLUNTEERS.
The Strength and Equipment of the MIL
itia of the Provinces.

The Strength and Equipment of the MIL
itia of the Provinces.
Canada's army consists of a military
force of thirty-six thousand men, not
including the reserve militia. The force
is sometimes spoken of as volunteers,
sometimes as militia, but there is in
reality no such difference. The force
is essentially a volunteer force, COM
posed of civilians from the towns and
country, those raised in the former be-
ing called "city corps" and IN the lat
ter ''rural corps.' The amount of
drill required by the Militia act for each
man is about sixteen days in two years.
Many of the rural corps are not called
out annually, and do no more drill than
that required of them, while the city
corps resemble much the volunteer corps
OF our large towns at home, and drill
annually as arranged by their command
ing officers. The men receive fifty cents
1.-TWO shillings) a day for authorized
drill. They are armed with the Snider
rifle. In addition to her militia, Canada
possesses a regular force enlisted as SOL
diers, and distributed in schools through
out the different Provinces for purposes
OF instruction, and composed as fol-
lows: Two schools of artillery, one at
Quebec, n at Kingston, each possess
ing two field guns (nine-pounder r. M.
~; a cavalry school at Point Lewis,
Quebec; and three infantry schools, viz:
At Toronto, st. John, Province of Que
bee, and Frederictown, New Brunswick.
The total strength of all schools COM
bined can not, by the Militia act, exceed
seven hundred and fifty men.-1he Unit.
ed Service.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
MEXICAN

A Country Where But Twenty-Five Per
Cent. of the Population Can Read and
Write.
The number of elementary schools in
the entire Mexican Republic is about
1000, with some 600. 900 pupils. OF
these schools 1926 are supported by
either the National or State Govern
ments. They are attended by 40, OQO
pupils. There are 80 schools supported
by the Lancas:er.an Society. The Cath
Ole Church maintains about 1000
schools, with about 100000 pupils; re-
liable statistics about these schools are
not on hand, however. The different
Protestant missions and associations
maintain 26O schools, with an attend-
anco of about 1000 pupils. The Cath
Ole society maintains 209 schools, with
an estimated attendance of 40, 900.
Manufacturing establishments maintain
forty-lfye schools, with an aggre- e. at
tendance of 1000. Of private SCH. us
the City Of Mexico alone has 231, whose
attendance does not fall short of IL 5000.
Outside of the city there are about 500
private schools, with an aggregate of
probably 10000 pupils. Only a few of
the States have enacted laws compell-
ing the attendance of children at
schools. OF these Morelos was the first.
This State has the greatest number of
schools in proportion to its population,
having $50 schools for its $50, 900 inhab.
itants, OF II school for each 1000 pop
ulation. 1t is estimated that from
twenty-five to twenty-five per cent. of
the population of Mexico can read and
write. -.Ve1ico TIM Repu1iics,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Plantation Philosophy.

Eli dar is a place O. tormentfur anermals,
de balky boss is gwinc dar.
1t doan meek no %Giffunce how big er liar
er pusson is he hates de pusson dat won't
tell de truth.
De road ter nearly eberythin' good is
bersot wild d%ifferkilties. De meat o. dc
bony fish is de sweetest.
It's mighty ocldom dat yer ken tell e,
pusson 'zactly how yer wants or thing
done, an nine times outen ten it is better
fur er pusson ter do it hisse'f, fur cben eff it
aim done SO well, he is better pleased wild
de job. When yer itches 'twixt de shout.
ders it's er mighty hard matter ter tell er
pusson whar ter scratch.-Arkans4w Tray.
eler.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
FOR Il YOUNG.
"sMALL AND TRiFLlNG."

In your hand you hold an acorn,
Declning it q worthless thing.
And you cast it from yollr keeping.
Rain, and dew. and sunlight, bring,
Slowly, surely, an awakening
TO the acorn's little heart,
Till the tiny germ within 1t
Makes q sudden. silent start
Time goes on. You have forgotten
All about the little shell,
Which, as ycnrs slip into decades,
Works its secret mission well.
All, could you but read the future,
See what coming years can tell.
You would scarce believe the wondere
Springing from that acorn shell!
First you see come slowly peeping
From the ground Il tiny sprOut;
Soon 'twould be q tender snpllng,
Sending budding leaflets out.
Then you'd see, as years passed onward,
What, rs boy, you'd thrown away
Making cool and grateful shadow
For your silvcrcd head some day.
You would see the forest growing
Round the grand old parent tree:
Hear the woodman's axe r~esoundin6,
And the busy builders soc
At their work on ship and dwelling;
See the vessel proudly glide.
Carrying a precious burden
O'er the ocean wild and wide.
All, my boys, we can not always
From n cause judge its erect.
Grand results may lie safe hidden
In some duty you'd neglect
Just because twas small and trifling.
So. M lads, lust watch; you'll see
All through life that rritles often
Make or MAJ a destiny.
&C. G. Ihart,, ~ Golden DaN.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

other day for a train, and us he was
walking in and out q good deal the police
officer IN that beat cautioned him to look
out for confidence men.
"Oh, I know all about confidence men, u
was the reply, and chat ended the CONVEX.
sation for that time.
In about ar hour the old man came
rushing up in IN excited state OF mind and
cried out:
"some Internal skunk has picked my
pocket OF twenty-five dollars"
"Well, I cautioned you
"1ou'rc a liar! You told me to look out
for confidence men, and never said a word
about pick-pockets! While 1 was a-tellinp
one chap that I was no g%rcenhorn, and that
nobody could confidence me, his partner
got into my pocket. You're a nice old
police force, you are!!"-Detroit Free Press,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

THERE was a large increase last year
III the exports of leaf tobacco over that
OF 1854. For the eleven months ending
November 80, the quantity exported
from the United States was 257, POS, SO6
pounds as against 100, 453, 748 for a cor
responding period the year previous.
1his shows a growing demand for
American tobacco in Europe, and it is
probable that the exports will be largely
increased during the present year owing
to the decreased price, and the incrcas-
ing consumption in foreign countries.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Married Men as Duelists.

Here is a good story apropos Of dueling.
Two frequenters OF the principal cafe at
Aries quarreled, with the result that two
friends OF the one who considered himself
the afironted party waited on the other, a
corn merchant in the town. The latter
received them courteously, but after hear
ing their message sent them backto his an
tagonist with the reply: ''Tell NJ. Carjuza,"
he said, chat itwould give me great pleas
ure to fight him were we on an equality rs
adversaries. But NJ. Carjuza is a bachelor
and l am a married man and the father OF
three children. Tell him that when he, too,
is a married man and the father of three
children 1 will seriously consider his chal-
lenge."-London Figaro.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
The Trick Of an Imp, as Told in Seven
Chapters.
ACCIDENTAL SHOOTING.
4 Texas Darby Explains the Advantages of
His System of Defense.

A Texas Darby Explains the Advantages OF
His System of Defense.
The frequency with which unloaded guns
and pistols are discharged with fatal results
is suggestive OF the suspicion that someo oil
the alleged d%eplorable accidents are the re.
suit OF deep design.
These peculiar accidents remind one of a
conversation that occurred between two
negroes.
"What has yer got wropped up in dat
paper?"
"Dat's a pistil, one oh dis heah pistilA
what's easy on de trigger, what cocks hit.
self and shoots hitself off"
"Whaffor does yer want a pistil? Can't
yer Tend yersef wild a knife?"
The other negro, who was q very hard
case, shut one eye, and with q smile that
was calculated to produce n shudder, re-
piled:
"When a pistil goes off and kills n nan
yer kin make folks believe it went off by
akcerdent, but ef you say a knife Killed a
man akcerdentally some folks will be shore
to hab doubts.''-Texas Siftings.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

A Gardiner man brought a pair OF pants
OF a trader recently, giving an order on a
prominent ice dealer for payment. The
pants didn't fit. and he wished to exchange
them, but this the dealer refused to do, as
they were slightly soiled. The man was
indignant and sought the advice OF a law
scr. The lawyer went to the dealer and
persuaded him to take the pants back and
return the order. The man who returned
the clothing was delighted, and didn'tthink
it at all excrbitant when the lawyer de-
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
THE ENGINEERS STORY.
Red Lights on the Track Look Like
a of Red Stone.

Two Red Lights on the Track Look Like
a Mountain of Red Stone.
"Ever ride on an engine on Il dark,
stormy night, eh? Have you learned
what a red light means? I remember
one bleak, dreary night in the winter
OF 1877, 1 was running on the Erie.
We were behind time, and were skim
ming down the hill toward Alden.
when we rounded the curve and saw
what seemed to be a blaze of red lights
before us. 1t seemed to me that the
country was on fire. My heart jumped
into my throat, and 1 thought my time
had come. l reversed my lever, put
on the a%ir-brakes, and opened the
throttle wide. My fireman had Jump
ed, with serious consequences to him
self, and l thought I was a goner. I
let one brief prayer escape from my
lips, and felt a terrible jarring.
"At first it flashed through my mind
thai we had struck, but as [ heard the
Earring of the wheels l found that we
were almost at a dead stop. the wheels
slipping on account of the force of the
steam which had run up. Just about
two feet from us was the caboose of a
freight train which we would have run
nto had we not stopped in time. After
the excitement was over one Internal
fool of a passenger came up and asked
why we had stopped SO quick, swear
ing at both the road and myself for
stopping trains so quick. The cylinders
OF my engine cut a little on account OF
the cinders which were drawn in
through reversing, but beyond that no
damage was done.
"You can bet your bottom dollar,
my boy, that the two red lights on the
back OF that caboose looked to me that
night more like a great mountain Of
req stone on the track than they did
! two lnoffensive crimson lights. -.
Bu0aho Express.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
A Child's Definition.

Mother" said a little Rockland girl,
looking up from her book, "what does
transatlantic meant"
ooh, across the Atlantic, OF course. Don't
bother me; you make meforget my count"
docs trans always mean across??"
~ suppose it does. If you don't stop
bothering me with your questions you'll go
to bed"
"Then does transparent mean a cross
parent?"
Ten minutes later she was resting in her
little couch.-Rockland Courier.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

= LIEUTENANT HOWARD, the Galtling
gun man, who operated against the Riel
rebels, is to receive $4,000 as q bonus
from the Canadian Government, and is
about to open a carriage factory in the
Dominion, materials for which will be
admitted free of customs duties. The
French Canadians are raising a howl
against him because, as they say, he
once scalped a half-breed.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Anxious Judge Peterby,

Mrs. Judge Peterby is q very spare wo.
man. She is excessively thin. A few days
ago her husband said:
II don't really think that you ought to
go out on the street, Mariah."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Well, you know there is so much danger
just now from mad dogs. They will bite at
almost anything"
"But l don't think I am in any more
danger than anybody else"
80, yes you are. Dogs love to gnaw
bones. TEXAS Siftings.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

lHE cooperative plan is to have an
other test. A nail company, with a cap
ital OF Slo0, 900, all of which has been
subscribed, has been organized in Pitts
burgh by a number of striking nailers
and hardware dealers. The charter s5r
the company has been secured, and a
factory will be built at once on a five
acre plot which an enthusiast presented
to the operators.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

the finishing touches to hertoilet upstairs.
While she was munching the candy he had
given her, she suddenly put herhand to her
cheek.
ooh, dear, I've got t%oof-ache!!"
'"That's too bad, j" he said sympathetical-
ly.
81 wish my teef was like Sister Lilies"
she said, artlessly.
"Why?" he asked.
''Then, when they ached, 1 could take 'em
out an put 'em in a mug till they got
through"
And then Sister Lille, who had entered,
led her out with the remark that ''little
girls should have been in bed long ago.
Sam, the Scaramouch.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

A STRONG Mormon lobby is a feature
of the session Of Congress. The action
of the Senate, following so closely upon
the Presidents uttcrances against the
Mormon abomination, in his message,
indicates that the feeling against the
Saints is too strong to be overcome by
corrupting influences.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

! A TELEGRAPH operator laments that
his business is growing poorer every
day. Too many persons, he says, are
learning telegraphy. Every country
office has one or mor of the regular
operators friends hanging around and
taking lessons at odd times of leisure.
When there is a strike of skilled opera
tors, cheap country operators come in
and fill the places at nominal wages.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

IT is said that English doctors are go
ing back to the old rule of consulting
women patients only in the presence of
a witness. Some of the most respect
able of them have been victimizcd by
blackmailers, and others have suffered
severely in reputation through ill-found-
ed charges brought by hysterical fe-
males.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Objected to Being Tipped.

De Guy-1 heard you were arrested the
other day on count OF a beastlyro row with
q waiter.
Allcash-So 1 was. He had me arrested
for giving him a tip.
De Guy-Impossible! Who ever heard OF
such a thing?
Allcash-True as shooting, though. He
was deuced insolent, and l just tipped him
over the table with my boot.-Phila delphia
Call.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

In comparing Now York of to-day
with that OF half a century ago, the
Aer'M shows how the people OF that
city managed to get along with neither
steam nor horse railroads, without tel
egraph or telephone, without steam fire
engines, Croton water and gas. Ittook
two days to reach the capital at Albany,
n eight weeks to reach Europe. Per-
maps no other city in the world offers so
marked an illustration OF the evolution
OF half a century.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

TELEPHONE communication between
Paris and Rheims, 103 miles, has just
been opened. The tariff is n franc
(twenty cents) for five minutes CONVEX
sation.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

SERv1A has resolved not to make
peace with Bulgaria until the question
regarding the disposition of Eastern
Roumelia before the Powers has been
solved in a manner which will satisfy
the wishes of the Servian Government.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

CHICAGO is infested with an organized
party of "sand-baggers," who are
adding new miserics to life in that city.
The police have been unable to stop
their o%utrages or make any arrests.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Where He Was Struck.

Witness-Yes, sir. He struck me on the
bridge
Lawyer (sharply interrupting)-How is
that? You said awhile ago that he struck
you on the balcony?
Witness-So he did, sir. I'm tellin' you
no lie.
Lawyer-Did he strike you more than
once?
Witness-Only once, sir. Begorra, I was
quite satisfied.
Lawyer-How then could he strike You
ON the bridge and ON the balcony at the
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

same time and with one blow?
Witness-Anyhow, he did, sir.
Judge (interiering)-On what balcony?
Witness-The balcony of the hotel, your
Honor.
Judge-And on what bridge?
Witness-The bridge of my nose, sir.
Had the spalpeen waited, I'd told him.
PHILADELPHIA Call,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

took up the box. GLOW simple and poetic
a way of asking me to be his wife, and SO
direct. Ali" and she kissed the blush pa
per and tenderly united the string.
y tremble,' she whispered. "WiI it be
a diamond, or a ruby, or"
1t was neither. 1t was a napkin-ring.-
San Francisco Chronicle.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

THERE is a bill now before Congress
pensioning the widow Of Union soldier
after she lost her second husband, or
has become twice a widow. The pen
sion to a soldiers widow, as the law
o stands, ceases when she remarries.
The bill now before Congress also pro-
vides for the loss of a husband by di-
vOrce.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

! REV. JOHN ANKETELL, of New York,
proposes that the day of national thanks
giving shall be October II, the annivcr-
sary of Columbus discovery of Ameri-
ca. He has received letters from Gov
Knott, of Kentucky, and Govern
or Bale, of Tennessee, fayorably re-
sarding Che idea.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

A BATH (Me.) young man called on
his Dulcinea the other night and linger-
ed SO long that the young lady's mother
called a policeman and had the visitor
sent to the lookup. He was released
next morning on agreeing to leave town.
This incident may possibly help to solve
the vexed question that for years has
nuzzled ''the old folks''-how to keep
the light and fuel expenses down while
the girls are excepting company"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

DIR. c. Z. SAUNDERS states that as no
outbreak of cholera has been known to
occur in a new locality in less time than
it would take a man to travel the dis
tancc from the nearest place where the
disease already existed, it is pretty con-
elusive that human agencies rather
than climatic causes are resnonsib]c for
the spread of the disease.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Not That Kind of . Ring.

"Deep in the satin recesses,'' his letter
ran, "oft this fairy-box you will find a ring.
l had it made for you to %inclose, us it were,
my sentiments on this joyful OCCASION"
Her heart stood still.
allow beautiful she murmured. as she
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
Getting Used to the Public.

Young Pianist (downhearted)-Oh ,it'sno
use, l don't seem to have any luck. The
people are. continually telling me I cant
play, and lave no talent whatever.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29

manded the order in payment for his SER
vices. The dealer got the pants; the law
yer got the order, and the purchaser got
ieft.-1ngusta Journal.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-01-29
TO

All communications for this paper should be accom-.
panied by the name of the author; not necessarily foi
falt of the writer. Write only on one side OF the pa
per. BE particularly careful in giving names and dates
er. names are often difficult to deciphcr, because OF tbs
aareless manner in which they are written.