Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-08
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN man buys a porous plaster he gen
orally sticks to his bargaln.-BurIjn0tO71 Free
Press.
AN unmarried grocer must of necessity be
oenlnd the lines because he has to mate to
keJch up.-LiTe.
FORTUNATELY for the country, the Gettys-
burg controversy did not arise until after the
Ph5LaG@lOhtd Inquirer.
"How viii it be when the roses fade?" sings
Lucy Larcom. We don't know how It is down
where you live, Lucy. but up here in Lowell
the girls pile on the rouge .-LoaoeH CoWrier
THE man who lGoss around telling people
now many thousand dollars they can save by
MOI smoking cigars is the same man who has
to hunt through his clothes to find the ticket
for his u!ster.-Rea0 HaVsn NelOs. N .-e
IT will soon happen that when the head of
the house goes to the family Bible TO find con-
ISOLATION tor aflction he Will exclaim: Dog
gone II. Maria, what's all this?" And then
the daughter of the household will admit that
the hrst edition of autumn leaves has gone to
press.--P tto6ur0 Dispatch.
81 sEE." said Stubs. "that DR.. Michael
Foster tells the British Association that
smoking tobacco produces defective vision:
do you believe it,"
20, am sure OF it," replied Mr. S., for /
saw your friend Butts last evening putting
away, qnite UNCONSCIOUS that there were sew
eral ladies in the room. '-BUStO71 TrdnscriDE.
81 SAY. Jobkns, can you let me have that
dollar you owe me?"
Want it to-day, particularlyTr
We'll, you see. have The toothache."
what has that TO do with it?'
"A great shock will cure the tOothache.
Jobkins, and thought perhaps if you paid
me, Ter. Thank ou,"--PhtLade1DhiG CAL.
WHAT the friend of he family says: "Itis,
indeed, lovely child. Mrs, Yungkuple."
Nv no does IL look like?'
Well, its eyes resemble yours; but its
mouth reminds me more Of" etc. etc.
What he means: "Great Caesar! What
pug-nosed, fiar-face1 little boast! 1t looks
more ike one of the monkeys in the park than
anything else can think of!'-Puck.
"DANIEL, didst see that in the paper about
"A High Hill split in two in MexicO?'"
"1es. Mr.. President, and it reminded me of
something-the same thing you are thinking
of, doub less p"
"Wllt share thv cunning thought with me.
most wise DRDiel?"
II reflected that 1t was easy to split up the
Hills IL you go at 'em right"
''Danie. thou trihest. Thou dost frivol,
Now to biz, Daniel. y WdshtDOtrY Post.
"THrs instantaneous photography is great
thing isn't'tF" queried Hedley OF an amateur
photographer.
'Iodeed 1t H." responded he of the camera
II have an outfit myself"
Take anything. suppose?'
well, Eve taken the finish to race, Tve
taken jack rabbit on the jump, I've taken r
Hash OF lghtniug: but the machtne's too slow
q kentuckian. His action is too RAPID. -
Rd bier.
OMAHA DAME-And so your labors IN ia
pan were not successful!
Returned Missionary--No. found progress
very difficult. The Japanese fully believe
that the rewards and pnnishments of the
hereafter are graded by the amount of money
they make. | could do nothing with them, SO
/ returned to this country. where hope to
labor with better success.
] fear YOU are TOO late.
Why, in what way?
That idea has already got over here along
with the other brio a -brac.-Ofadbd World