Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-02-11
Ahead of Time.

There Ia n little piece Of household
diplomacy which have never boon able
TO comprehend, and for which have In
vain sought q satisfactory explanation.
refer TO ho practice OF keeping tho
family clock In such u condition that IL
indicates anywhere from fifteen minutes
10 nm hour ahead of the correct time.
II the object be To deceive anyone In the
domestic circle into more hurried prep
arations In tho morning, then there
don't know tho trick; but " II always
happens that everybody concerned
knows that tho timcpiece is incorrect,
and governs himself accordingly. And
30 the little farce goes on, from week to
TO week, dcluding no one unless TO the
incorrect visitor who call TO spend tn
evening, and To whom the truo state o.
affairs Is probably not explained IL he
happens TO belong TO the genus .bore."
But there comes time when the head
OF the household gets ashamed Of him
self Of porpetuating the deceit, and In a
spasm Of vlrtuous remorse he turns back
the hands TO the proper hour, and won
ders to what extent he Is responsible for
the falschood he has all along been en-
couraging. But no will now make
amends from henceforth he will keep
the clock right on the dot and with this
praiseworthy determination fixed upon,
hc rctircs for the night. A period Of
inanimation naturally ensues, from
which he Is ut length half-roused by tho
clock striking six the next morning.
All forgctful Of his great act the preyi-
Gus night, he drowsily mutters, "Well,
that makes IL five o'clock--rll snooze u
little longer" And he snoozcs. Another
warning from the clock --onc. two, three.
four, five, six, seUeni He wakes In
time to count the strokes-he rubs his
eyes, and the true situation flashes
through his mind, and he Is clothed and
down stairs before you could say Jack
Robson"--if you said IL slow enough.
hut II Is too late. The train that Is to
take the fishing party away is ut this
time pulling out OF the depot, and the
rest are wondering what has become Of
Brown.
Brown Well, talk about being as
mad as n hornet--it Is nothing compar-
cd with his state of feeling, Talk
about woman being disappointed over
tUe uOH-UrTlNui vi utT HtW DDnucb-@
well, that somewhat approaches Browns
condition. Aud how he scowly ut the
innocent little clock. as he places upon
IL the whole blame for spelling his an
ticipatcd day OF pleasure. But he will
DO reycngcd. He approaches the ticker
with determined look on his face, hur-
ridly grasps it--and turns the hands on
again until they are as incorrect as be-
fore, and henceforth they stay in that
condition.
Slight though the ticking Of the clock
may be, its sudden cessation has won
derful influence upon the inmates Of the
room in which the timekeeper is locat-
ed. A dim realization of something
wrong steals over the scnses-a feeling
as il something of value had been lost,
or friend had gone away perhaps
never TO return, or as IL some of the
children were sick, until suddenly some
one looks up and exclaims, why, the
clocks stopped!' And Immediately
the ill-dcfined forebodings dissipate, the
shadow Of gloom melts away, and. as
the winding-up process is completed.
and the CHEEKY tick-tick recommences,
the family circle regains its wonted
buoyancy Of spirits and the members
wonder what it was that made them
feel so gloomy few moments before
Pittsbur1h Chronicle Herald.