The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-07-15
THE MERRY SIDEl


In our wrath we must remember that people
outside of Ohio don't know who old man
Payne is.
A Harvard student took another degree last
week. He got into drunken brawl in a bar
room.
Pap Payne has read the story of the unfor-
tunate boy-if he did it, he won't acknowl-
edge it.
To the politicians: Let him that is without
political sin cast the first stone at old man
Payne.
The idea of complaining of the heat Didn't
you see the fat girl dance all day on the Fourth
of July?
The man who works in the wheat-field this
weather, certainly earns his bread by the sweat
of his brow.
Ohio took her boil over to Washington, and
Logan refused to open it for her-that's all
tnere was of it.
Navigation is suspended at Pittsburgh"
They probably hung it up because there is no
water in the river.
The expression 'hungry faInes," probably
sprang from the fact that they always give
them q drink of water.
A distillery over on the bottoms has just
closed run of over forty years. Won't the
Devil be lonesome, though?
+x%
Too many men start out to build their life
structure with the bricks of ambition, without
putting in the mortar of common sense.
The man who undertakes to oppose a crowd
of women, should go out of that business and
go to assaulting bumble-bees' nests.
The "Ohio editors" firing their indignation at
Gen. Loganswould be good deal like flock
of geese, firing at random, by moonlight.
There is bigger crop of ginseng than usual
in Virginia. Boys we've got to look out, or the
Democrats will scoop us up there, this year.
-
"Yes," said Mrs. Sprightly-who was going up
street-"I'Ll be ready in minute just wait for
me-" He waited just three quarters of an hour.
The true value of Democrat has at last been
determined. The State Government of Ken
lucky gets 33c. apiece for them by hiring them
out from the Penitentiary.
The trouble was, in fishing for old man Payne,
the Republican statesmen baited with live
frog, and the bait has been sitting on the bank
all this time.
The way the boys blew their legs, arms and
fingers off, around over the country on the
Fourth, proves that the enthusiasm is still up
to the highest pitch.
Congress spent more than an hour the other
day, debating about a matter involving one
e@1fo I11,o I,,
small things.
The Feeder Dam at Columbus is sadly out of
fix. A careless old sinner says the only way to
fix up a good dam job in Columbus is by greas-
ing it with coal oil.
A Cincinnati paper had dispatch last week
headed "An Editor Doubles UP, at Tiffin, Ohio"
The fear that it was case of cholera morbus
was removed by further reading. He was only
married.
Old man Payne can sympathize with the boy
who sat down in bucket of paint. Smear it
over as he will, and the track is there yet.
jackson has not had circus or menagerie
this season. We've not even had Democratic
What are we going to do for
Geo. Hayden, seventy-five killed man with
a club, at Hobbs Mills, Ky. 1t is an open ques-
ton which will get old George first the Peni-
tentiary or the Devil.
The gas comrany in New York reduced the
price of gas, but the meters went right on, and
registered as big bills as ever. There's ingenuity
'or you.
When the historian comes to search for the
great things accomplished by the Democratic
Reform President, he will find that he-got
married.
Prof. Leon tried to show the people of Spring
ield that he wasn't afraid of falling from a
ight-rope. He wasn't-but he fell and broke
himself all to pieces, nevertheless.
"Ha Tremble at our indignation W hoWled
the Ohio editors' at Gen. Logan.
"Behold my Indignation ~ said the buzzard,
Is he puked at the eagle.
Michael Wheatley, of Dayton, had live
make in the stomach five years, but last week
t came forth. Even snake can't stand the
Dayton liquor.
Gov. Foraker is becoming reckless. He boldly
narched on Washington C. H., last week, not
that Munger is there, and 81. N"
announced as coming.
The papers tell of Salvation Soldier in Ohio
Who attributes his salvation to the fact that he
Lutt stealing and left the Democratic party,
When he joined the Army.
The Gallipolis Bulletin tells of a western hail
torn in which the stones weighed seven
,ounds, and were as big as mans head. Guess
he Salvation Army better stay in Gallipolis |
'el little while.
They tell Cleveland that after he had !
written large number of vetoes of pension
ills, the White House dog seized and ran away |
With them. And many 4 man will think they |
ught to have been thrown to the dogs.
81 would like an introduction to the leading |
pirit of this convention" said Democratic |
The man hauled out a bottle and |
landed him.
An Indiana man fell from grace and quit the |
,hurch on hearing his wife sing "when we've |
zen there ten thousand years" He had tried |
wing with her for ten years on earth.
They didn't think there could be any doubt
bout the mans insanity when they arrested |
Iim He had been seen to pass dry goods
'ox, and picket fence, without getting his
,nite out
James Williams, of Y oungstown, was poisoned
" eating bread. Well, you've been warned
nough If You will go on eating bread when
here is plenty of beer in the country, take the |
onsequences.
1t seems unaccountable that II boy who will
aise strenuous objection to going into the sun
hne of an errand, will strip off, and lie upon |
he creek bank until his back is burned TO the
olor of boiled lobster.
Francis Murphy, endorsing the Dow Law, and