The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-07-08
The Country Editor.

Inc COunWy EditOr.
The lot of the country editor is not q
happy one. He has to submit to many
forms of oppression and injustice that
his metropolitan brother is unacquaint-
ed with. A village grocer will enter
the publication Office with patronizing
air, as though he owned the village and
held mortgage on two or three more,
aid orders the insertion of a two-inch
advertisement, worth about dollar,
which he pays-next year, if he is
dunned often enough. The man of
commerce will then casually mention
that q half-column special notice upon
the editorial page. calling attention to
the merits of his stock of dried Goldfish
and Bermuda onions, would be accept
For this he pays the enormous sum of
5000, 100000.
For half-column portrait of dude
attired in an eight-dollar suit and st.
Patrick's Day plug hat, the fashionable
tailor gives him box of paper collars,
and if he has been profuse with his
special notices he will also get buffalo
horn collar-button or calico necktie
out of last years stock.
He usually secures admission to all
entertainments, public and private,
upon complimentary tickets, the donors
well knowing that for every ounce of
outlay, in the shape of fifteen cent
ticket they will secure a pound of
profit in the shape of half column
pufs.
He goes to the strawberry festival,
and for bite of sponge cake, mouth
full of strawberries and glass OF feeble
lemonade he is expected to announce
in his next issue, in glazing head lines,
a Notable Event!-A Congregation of
Talent, Wit, Wealth and Beauty" AS
rule, this class are his severest critics,
and seldom subscribe for his paper If
they can borrow it of their poorer
neighbors who pay for it.
He goes to the circus, gazes upon
the sacred steer and stuffed monkey,
exchanges smiles with the hyena,
watches the gyrations of the trick mule,
listens to the copyrighted jokes of the
clown, and has his pockets picked of
the 81 oreide watch won at rattle for
the benefit of the parson.
In the lecture room he is a wearied
listener to the shabby, long haired pro-
lessor who lectures upon THE Cucum-
Der, AID the relation it bears to the
Collie" or a long and elaborate essay
upon the determination of Bed Bugs"
He is pestered by large class of
writer's whose contributions smack of
nothing but the writer's lack of brains.
This class is usually composed of those
men who, when told that their sketches
are declined, coolly adjust their single
barreled eyeglasses and exclaim, "But,
o.r Il 10
knowp The poor fools do not know
that the best of all schools in which to
acquire a thorough journalistic educa-
tion is the printing Office. Most of the
great editors of the day can go to the
case and "rattle up" stickful as quick
~ and well as any of the boys.
Amateur printers borrow and never
return his type, and a thousand other
things occur to make life as burden
some to him as that of the man who
pays $1,000 alimony per year to his
red-haired, pug-nosed and freckle-
faced sometime wife. He dimes not
upon ox-tail soup and champainge, but
is content with pigs rump and cabbage
which he washes down with Budweiser
beer occasionally.
The editors day of triumph is when
he writes the obituary of one of his
tormentors, and he celebrates it in
BETTING manner. Immediately after
placing the copy in the hands of a COM
positor he goes out. Seon afterward
he is seen on the street, his heels &C.
casionally kissing the back of his neck
as he tries to forge ahead. When he
reaches the Office the men have gone
to dinner. He sits down and broods
over his troubles and wishes that he
were dead. All, well The lead butch
ers return to work; they see a figure
lying upon the floor. The lift it and
tenderly place it in the I've trough; he
is cold and dead-drunk.
Yes, an obituary means something to
country editor. He lives like ring
tailed moke and lies like spotted
iehosophat, dear, indulgent, liver
Tipped enthusiastically Sam, IN
Through Mail