Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-05-13
GIFT OF SPEECH.
An Accomplishment Which, If Not Natural
May Be Cultivated.

cred how important thing 1t IS IN LIE |
to use language with felicity and copi-
ously. | purpose showing you, by a
couple of examples, how appetizingly |
dish of fact may be garnished by the
flowers of speech.
Here is bald, uninteresting matter
of fact statement:
''As came down town this morning,
/ saw man run down by a herdic.
He was not hurt, but his clothing was
badly soiled.n
Now there is nothing attractive in
this statement. 1t is juiceless, spirit
less, inartistic. See how the same
materials can be made intensely inter-
esting:
"By blowpipe! l witnessed con-
demnationed narrow escape this morn
ing. Great Zeus! but l thought the
incarnadined fool was booked for Hades,
for sure! He was just ahead of me,
dye see, and the man, by stove-lifterl
must have been blind or asleep. An
unsanctifed herdic came careering
down the street, by pens and scissors!
and just as the anathema got halfway
over the crossing, by pianaforte! the
herdic, by curtain fixtures! came on to
him, by elm tree! pell nell, and, in an
instant, by tobacco! he was down on
his marrow bones, by collar-buttons!
and the horse almost on top of him, by
check-rein! The fellow wasn't hurt,
but, by Boston Common! he got con-
demned dusting, by sealing-wax! and
he looked, by pocket-knife! as though,
by cuspidore! as though, by garden
sass! he had been wallOwingin horse
pond, by locomotive and a train of cars!
all his natural life, by primrose and
daisiesn'
There, that is something like. You
have the same story, but embellished
and beautifed into a real work of art
A few oaths interspersed into the COM
monost narrative will enliven it won
drously. There is much virtue in an
oath.
Again: You are called upon to make
a speech. You have nothing to say;
therefore you remark to this effect:
"Mr. Chairman am no public
speaker; and if | were, | have nothing
to say. Therefore | beg to be excused
from attempting to make a speech.
Thanking you for calling upon me, l
will, with your permission. now resume
my seat.
That is what you would say but an
orator would express the same idea in
language befitting and eloquent. For
| instance:
"Mr. Chairman-Utterly and irrevo-
| cably unaccustomed and unused as |
am to mount and ascend the raised and
elevated rostrum and to dispense and
give forth thence glowing, glittering
and resplendent streams of speech,
rounded and rotund periods of elo-
quence and ornamental and ornate ora
tory, l am especially and particularly
unfortunate and unhappy at this time
and moment in not having any thing to
talk about, to speak of or even to men
ton. Hence and therefore, Mr.. Chair
man, beg and supplicate and pray to
be excused and pardoned and forgiven
if, Mr.. Chairman, neither attempt nor
essay, nor yet endeavor, to speak or
| tblh uDOl lulS OCCdolOu vi tt tllo tiiltO
or in this presence; but that | may be
permitted and allowed, both at this
time and upon this occasion, to be ex-
cused and exempted from making,
manufacturing or constructing any re-
marks of any kind whatsoever, or from
uttering, delivering or giving voice to
any thoughts, cogitations predictions.
| AID NJ. fHhairp,an n r and ~
tending my heartfelt thanks and good
wishes to you, Mr.. Chairman, for calling
upon and requesting me to address this
honored and honorable assemblage of
aonored and honorable gentlemen,
will now and at this time, with youl
kind and graceful permission, your in.
diligence and your well-known and
universally recognized courtesy, re-
sumo and retake the seat from which
ought never to have arisen, and which
ought never TO have relinquished or
left. Again thanking you, Mr.. Chair.
man, for the honor you have bestowed
upon and vouchsafed to one who was
never fitted to flourish in the luxur liant
fields of oratory, | once more sink and
descend into the obscurity and insig'
nificance from which l ought never t.
have emerged or ventured forth.
This is oratory; this is eloq uence
Copy this style of speaking, my son
and you will oon acquire name ant
fame as public speaker.
And to you, my daughter, have a
word to say. Inste ad of simply say
ing:
81 saw Sue to-day, but she didn'
have anything particula to say"
Endeavor to cultivate that faculty o
ditfusive particularly so uncommon t.
your sex, and deliver yourself in thi
wise:
81 saw Sue to-day-and, by the way
what taste she has in bonnets-oh
that reminds me of May Pennington
she's got lovely new wrap, and Johl
Strut says-you know john his siste
married Charley Black-wo nder wha
she ever saw in Charley! I'm sure
never could endure him, he isn't bi
good-looking, and then he's so stupi'
what was l going to say? o, yes
John Strut; John says-oh, Belle! hav'
you seen Johns new turnout? 1t i
awfully nice. was telling Kitty onl,
last night-what queer girl Kitty is
Did | ever tell you about the time sh,
and | had last summer?-"
And so on indefinitely. am awar,
that this perspicuous and delightful,
varied style of speech is seldom acquired
by females; but, my dear daughter,
is not so difficult, after some practice
Acquire it, byall means.-BostOn Tran
script.
Joseph Aigner, the celebrated POI
trait painter, recently committed sui
eide by hanging, at his villa near Wen
ma. During the revolution of 1913 Aig
ner's popularity led to his election a
commandant of the insurgent army le
gion, an honor which afterward causes
H.. 49,