The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-12-23
WIT AND HUNOK.

on English actresses. dscen
Ners.
A bright idea from Chony: II soy.
| BOYS, sincs she las refused all three OF
us Individually. / say We follow her
home, and hy it ~ a body. She oouldn' t
resist U.s."
A child was sitting in the sun
was admor shed by her mother: my
dear, come cut of the SUM-" No,
mother" said the little girl. with empha-
sis. II got here first"
Two nval bellies met at masquerade
bali one evening last week. How well
you look under the gas light" said one
to The other. And how charming you
look in the dark" was the courteous
reply.
A train was delayed for an hour in
Troy, N. T., recently. and . drummer
remarked to the conductor: This is a
sort of twelve ounces to the pound al
fair, amt its" "Hov's that." Troy
wait you know" ~ ttts6urg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Literary man Oaughing)-"Yes, |
took to literature naturally. Was vac
cinated from quill. you know. "
Friend (grimlD-''Ha! The world
would have been the gamer if you had
been vaccinased from . pick or shovel. "
Philadelphia Cal.
Omaha Mani see the English have
q queer fashion. After the period of
deep mourning is over ladies make no
change except to wear light gloves.
Young Widov-Yos, dear. it shows that
the hand has passed the mourning
stage if the heart hasn't
Son-"Who was E.su, hthsrw Wall
street broksr-"Well, let me see. O,
Essu went short on his birthright,
Jacob having 'cornered' him, and call
ed in ell the 'pottage.' There vas not
much left on the market and-ass
your mother. boy.'-Ihe Judge.
Wifs-"Ars. Hendricks 10 to give 3
small informal tea party tomorrow
afternoon to q few ladies. and | was
wondering if had better wear gloves. :"
Hu.band-"I have always understood
that on such informal occasions the
ladies handle each other without gloves. .
-NeW YOrs sun.
When Dollar street in Ponkspog was
named, Mr.. Thomas Bailey A,drich.
whose summer home is in Ponkapog,
protested, as it might be expected that a
poet would. There are" declared Mr.
AIdrich, lat least $50 scents in it and it
should be named Dollar-and-a-half
street boston lost.
"You are going too fast" said ply
| sician to rapid young patient much
tCC 70 and will tn haTl -,
your horns" well. doctor. will do
NV best 10 follow your advice; bat |
really don't see how l can get away
with any more horns than am hauling
in low. "-Drake's Magazine
Il say. Jobkins, can you Let me have
| that dollar YOU owe me?" Want it
to-day. particularly" We'll, you see,
| have the toothache" What has
that to do with its' "a great shock
will cure the toothache, Jobkins. and /
thought perhaps if you paid me, Ter.
Thank you" -PhtladetTA!a CAL
A short-sighted man approached a
| stranger on Austin avenue and said:
You are wrstched donkey" What
do YOU mean, sir?" Numbered the in
suited party. Il beg your pardon. /
mads mistake. You have remarka-
bic resemblance TO the donkey | sup
posed you were. "-4era, SJtt'gs.
Old Mrs Bently-''Pears to me, Eben-
ezer. as if these ministers have had alto
| gether too much rest this summer"
Old Mr. Bcntly 20, l don't know,
Martbs; them fellers is awful hard
worked during the winter. Why, just
81, prp-nin- Il
ton parties lsst season. "-1sd-Bi
Bridget (who ha. been sent to crack
some nuts in preparation for Hrs.
Blanks little dinner party to be held
during the evening. enter. with a few
badly cracked upon the plate)
lndade, Missus Blank. OH break me
tathe a-crackin' any more of thIm NUS.
My jaws all lame now, as it is, so it is. -
Life.
John" she said, as she entered BIS
sffice enc day and snifted su.piciousIv;
81 thought you had promised never 10
drink again" my dear" he replied,
deprecatinglv, your suspicious are un
just | have just had call from a
Chicago Alderman" "Ah, that OK
plains it. Forgive me, John. -
Rambler
Il ,ee,n said Stubbs, chat Dr.. Mich-
ael Foster tells the British Association
that smoking tobacco produces defec-
tive vision; do you believe itp'' 20, [
am sure of it," replied Mrs. s., 'for
saw your friend Butts last evening puff
ing away, quite unconscious that there
were several ladies in the room. -
boston Transcript
Fogg went to see old man Henderson
the other day. Henderson exhibited MS
art treasures "A fine old master"
said Fogg. stopping before big paint
ing. ''Old master be blowsdr' exclainl-
ed Henderson, Indignantly. NO Chest
nut about that That's brand new. !
can swear to that, for got it home be-
fore it was half dry"
Husband Oo noble theatrical mana
ger)-l-I-beg p-pardon, sir, but NAV
/ see my wife tomorrow for five min
utesp Noble manager-To-morro
All, let me see-no. / guess not. for to-
morrow she must take her afternoon
drive IN the park. Perhaps the next
oay, out Crownlng), remember, for five
minutes only.-Graphtc.
Summer sojourner to Saratoga trades
man-"What on earth do YOU do here
al winter after robbing visitors duripz
the summer monthss. | should think
you would die from want of excitement"
Saratoga radesman-.O, no; we man
age to keep things fairly alive after YOU
city folks get away from U.s." You do.
en-. And how?' by robbing one
another. "-Lot0eH Cit,xen.
Physician-I am afraid, Mrs. Quick
money, that there 10 some trouble with
your bronchial organ. Mrs. Quick
money (alarmed) Bronchial organ?
Physician-1es. Mrs. Quickmoney-
Why, | never heard it called that before:
but | am sure if you heard my daugh-
ter play on it you would be convinced
that it Is all right-Graphtc.
The story is told by Boston news
paper OF country parson who, with
that tact that DISTINGUISHES soma NOR