The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-02-09

and after dismounting remain standing
until the team has passed. This law
may be u good one, but it doesn't go far
enough. 1t should be amended 80 as to
compel the bicyclist to take off his hat
and remain uncovered while the driver
OF the team is passing him.-Norristomn
Herald.
"Charlcs, said Mrs. Spendall, 'Isaw
a beautiful costume to-day and I should
like it ever SO much" "And 1 should
like you to have it," replied Charles,
''but, really, Clara, l haven't the money
to spare ooh, you great tease! I
know better than that, l saw n brand
new check book in your desk only yes
tcrday, and not one of the checks had
been used. "-Hota Gazette.
"My boy is u great coward in one re-
spect."
"What's that 2"
"Hc's so much afraid of dogs"
"Well, that's no drawback. In fact,
1 consider it n good point in his favor"
."How do you make that out ~
cts not at all likely that he'll de-
vclop into u book agent. - Chicago
Ledycr.
CHEAP CHRISTMAS DINNER.
Smith-Finc turkey you've got there,
Brown.
Brown-Yesh.
S~mith-About how much did it cost
you?
Brown T-twenty-four (hic) dol
larsh.
Smith-Twcnty-four dollars {?
~Brown-Iesh; I won 1t (hic) atr
rattle.
soFTENED BITTERNESS.
obituary notice of poor Brown was a
you and he were bitter enemies
Country Editor with q sish)-Ah.
yes, we were enemies for a number of
years. but in the face of death. my dear
friend, the heart s~oftcns. And, besides,
l got 10 cents n line for the notice.
A DANGEROUS MEDICINE.
Young Physician Ito Patient-Did
you follow my directions in taking the
little pills-one every three hours z
Patient Wcll-er-you see, doc
Young Physician - Great Heavens!
you didn't take them oftener than
that
Patient Il didn't take any. My little
boy got hold Of the bottle in the night
and ate them all up.
Young Physician (hastily)-Where is
the boy2
Patient The last I heard of him he
was out in the backyard %stoning cats.
II DEAD HEADS.
Mr.. Tompkins Ito Manager Snap
show, who has just returned from Eu-
rope)--'Did you have a pleasant trip 2"
Snapshow-"Oh, yes; but 1 was very
homcsick until l reached Rome. I felt
all right there"
Tompkius--''How was that 2"
Snapshow-"Why. l spent two days
in the catacombs, and the collection OF
I dead heads there made me feel as
though I were at home again"
THE FULL OF IT.
+, The bachelor editor of an otherwise
esteemed contemporary asks why a baby
is filled up from ten to a dozen times q
day. That is a field in which no old
bachelor has any business to investigate,
but for the sake of casing his tempest,
tossed soul we will inform him that ba-
bics, bless 'cm, should be filled up
! whenever they show symptoms of hol-
l~crness, if it be forty times a day.
Binghamton Republican.
ExToRTIoNATE RATES.
Hotel Clerk Ito guest-Just 81, s1r,
two days at SD. so a day.
Guest from the country3-What's
that! Three dollars and a half a day
an no pie for breakfast! Gosh!
DOTS AND DAsHEs.
"WnAT are the last teeth that co1see'
asked a teacher of her class in physi-
ology. "False teeth, mum" replied q
boy who had just walked up on the back
Seat.
WE arc asked if kissing is proper be.
tween n lady and gentlemen who are
not engaged. Perfectly proper but i'm.
possible. A gentleman cannot kiss q
lady without being very pleasantly en-.
gagged.
NEWSPAPER reporter to. President OF
company: "Has your company taken
any steps yet to pay your taxes ?"
"Why, certainly, sir. We have made
atty of the law"
TRAMP (at the back door)-WM you
please give me something to eat 2 Wo-
man-Not q thing. Tramp Nor nuth-
in to drink Woman-Nor nuthin'
to drink. Tramp-No cast-off clothesi
Woman-None. Tramp--Well, would
you tell a poor, unfortunate man what
time it is z
"OH, Mr.. Van Duden," said a young
dudine at the opera recently, doesn't
this music make you surge 2" "Ah,