The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1886-02-24
WARNING TO A HUMORIST.
ALEX. SWEET WRITES AN OPEN
LETTER TO GEORGE w. PECK.
why the "sinings" Man Would
Dearly Like to Meet the "Bad
Boy Humorist.

Boy" HumOrist.
Alex Sweet, editor of Texas SgSings,
publishes in his paper the following letter
to George w. Peck, of the milwaukee,
Sun and "Bad Boy notoriety:
MY DEAR PECK: While you were in
New York a couple of weeks ago you
called at the office of TeDas Sytings, but
I did not get to see you, as 1 was not in
at the time. but found your card on my
return. 1 mean on my desk, where you
left it when you, yourself, left. In JUS
tice to you | viii also state that | did not
miss anything out of the Office. 1t
seems you did not improve your opportu-
mites
1 was very sorry that did not get to
see YOU, for I wanted to thank you per-
sonally for a favor you did me about
eight years ago, when l was on the edi-
tOrial staff of the Galveston NeicS
There are some doubt among the peo-
pie Of Texas as to my veracity. Some few
people intimated that didn't have any
at all, but the general opinion was that I
could tell the truth if it was to my inter
est to do so, and l made an earnest effort.
Just at this crisis l received the follow
ing letter from you, which l published
for my own vindication. After request
ing in the letter the temporary loan of
ninety cents, to enable you to purchase
pair of new pants, you went on to say in
your letter;
81 have never in my widest dreams
thought of competing with the Sitter as
a truth crusher. am an ordinary Wis
consin liar l have never had the advan-
tages you possess. My surroundings are
not good for the development of genius
in lying, as the community in which I
reside is pious, and 1 have no competi-
ton. No person can succeed unless he
has some competition to bring out the
talent that lies hidden in him. Now, it
is different down in Texas. You, al
though you may be the champion, are not
the only liar there. You have competit-
ors. Every man you meet has some claim
to prominence, and your talent is con-
stantly being FURNISHED. would be only
a nine-spot in Texas. l was there in
1866, and I know what l am talking
about"
1 fully appreciated this compliment.
From that time on my status as a truth
wrencher was fixed. Everybody in Texas
had heard of Peck and his endorsement
was all that was needed to be regarded
as talented journalist
I have often longed for the opportu-
nifty to take you by the hand and thank
you, and ask you when you were going
to pay back the ninety cents l sent you.
This is why l am sorry l was not in when
you called the other day However, you
aff flov. Nv FOL ,pfa oh
or both, if you see proper.
have to express my obligations to you
for another favor.
A few days ago, while putting on my
new sixty-dollar overcoat, a disagreeable
odor assailed my nose 1 noticed it even
after got into the street. On meeting
me, people would gasp, hold their noses,
and cross over to the other side of the
street. Several dray horses SHE'D and
mule tainted When 1 entered the office
of Teras Siftings everybody present
snorted, and looked at me pretty much as
a Texas pony does when it hears a brass
band for the first time. There was a vo-
ciferous smell in the office strong enough !
to drive a dog out of a slaughter house.
received several kindly suggestions
to consult an undertaken, or a coroner. A !
gentleman who was about to sign 81, 600
advertising contract, dropped the pen
and fled In wild dismay He has never
come back. think he has left New York
for his health. We have lost So, 600.
Owing to the warm air in the office
reached into my pocket to get my hand
kerchief to fan myself with it. When I
pulled out my hand there was adhering
to it a sticky mass which said Timber
ger" very plainly. 1t spoke right out.
How do you suppose that Limberger
got into my pocketl You don't know,
ehl Well, let me tell you. have boy
at home of about nine years of age. OF
late he has been reading book called
''Pecks Bad Boy" Ever hear of it2 My
boy, Norman, got that Limberger sug-
gestion out of that book He it was who
put that old cheese in my pocket. He
said that was what Peck's Bad Boy did
to his pa.
Well, he don't read that book any
more. He can't read even his Sunday |
school book now without lying on his
abdomen to do so. I don't feel safe for
my life unless I know that boy is at
school or asleep. If you read of my fall
ing down the stairs and breaking my
neck in consequence of the steps being
fabricated, or if come to any other sud- |
den and mysterious end, you may close
your eyes at night with the consciousness
of knowing that the diabolical suggestion
that showed me into the tomb originated
in that internal book of yours.
When you send me that ninety cents,
include in it the $4,000 ad we lost
through the LiLiberger cheese.
I'd like to known when you are coming
to New York again. Iwant to meet you
at the depot when the train comes in. !
You will be able to identify me by a large
club which shall wear in my right hand. |
How the coroner viii be able to identify
you after get through with you is not
very plain.
Oh, come to the bower I've shaded for you, |
And I'll make an effort TO be there too.