davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
BRIGHT BITS.

THE interior decorations OF Mr.. Floods
new house in San Francisco cost $500, 900.
There Is a tide IN the affairs of bonanza kings.
that taken at its Flood, leads on to fortune
for plumbers, painters and decentralization
e1 Cthsen.
AT the commencement of London unver-
slty Yesterday, 80 girls were made bachelors.
sew eral OF them took high honOrs. Miss Mary
Madeline Adamson taking first honor as
Bachelor of Science over her male competit-
| ors. One young woman who took a prize in
medicine. is described as looking "as II sur
gerry in her hands would need no an@sthet-
! lcs."-SDrf5gJ1eld UAj0B.
IT Is said that when the Duke of Yelling
| ton was very old man he could still fill a
glass OF water t. the last possible drop and
hold it mp steadily, brImful. A great many
old-and many OF very old-men Of to-day
are incapable or performing such a feat be-
cause they have too long practiced holding up
a glass of whisky about an inch higher Than
their chins.-NorristOaop Herald.
PRISONER plead guilty, your honor, in the
first degree.
wretch as you. The sentence of the court is
that you DE taken hence to the Polo Grounds
and then and there, until the end Of the sea-
son. be com PEELED TO bet money on the New
York Giants. and may Heaven have mercy
upon your pOcketbOOk.-NetO York Sun.
DE JoNEs-Hello, De Beans! Is it true
your eng cement with Miss Ethel is of?
De Beans-Yes. It's all over.
lie Jones w nat was the matter! on ap-
peared very devoted to each other.
De Beans-The factis, some medding friend
| told Ethel she would look ravishing In mourn
ing, and as | am too healthy to prom Sc any
prospect of wldoWhoOd, she has broken the
engagement and is setting her cap at fellow
in the last stages of consumptiOn.-Loe0
Citisen.
WHILE there is a circus in town very few
children get excited over religious matters.
Last sunday Deacon Bncrag. a good man, but
rather a crude taiker, addressed the Sunday
school. "Dear children" he began. plung-
ing at once into the subject, Jesus said. 'Suf-
er little children to come unto me. for of
such Is the kingdom of heaven Now, dear
children, the little ones came to him in large
mum bers, and in-in their mothers arms ana
he took them and-and, now can any of you
tell me what Jesus did with all those dear
little children?" He took them To the cir
Gus" vociferated a small boy near the door,
Life.
THE USES OF ADVERSELY In Jersey City
the other day man was shot dead in horse
car as the result OF an effort to he polite and
give a lady his seat, 1t was mo- the effort
which killed hint was pistol in the hands
of a drunken fellow who wanted the seat him
self. This was a deplorabe occurrence in it
self, but it has mad the most lively result
among the business men of San Francisco,
who carry the paragraph notice around in
the vest pockets, and hen a lady enters the
car where they are comfortably installed they
pun out the paragraph by way OF explana-
| ton. apologize for the seeming rudeness, and
re ain stoidly seated.-SaR Francisco Nstcs-
| Letter.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
Proposing a Second Vice President

When the bill proposing a constitu-
tional amendment, creating the office of
Second Vice President, comes before the
House it will, in all probability, be the
subject Of quite an extended debate. The
bill was reported by the Committee on
the Electoral Count, and has its almost
unanimous support.
1t provides that the proposed Second
Vice President shall be voted for in dis
tInct ballots, at the same time, in like
manner and for the same term as the
President and Vice President. He is to
become Vice President in the event of a
vacancy in that Office, and President in
the event Of the death or disability of both
the President and Vice President.
That Presidents and Vice Presidents
die during their terms Of Office experience
proves, and that there is not entire salts
faction with the Presidential succession
law, recently enacted, there is no doubt.
Against that bill, 1t is urged that it puts
in the hands Of the President the power
to name his successor. AS long as it is
the law the President, in selecting his
Cabinet. cannot but keep in mind that he
must select men who will make good
Presidents as well as god Cabinet Off
GERS. OF course, he would take good care
to put first IN the line of succession the
man no would like TO have succeed him,
/ should there, from any cause, a vacancy
/ occur in the Office of President.
/ o. the eighteen persons elected directly
/ u the office Of President, four have died
/ while filing out their respective terms
/ Three a d during the first year after their
| Inaugural ion, and the other the second
/ year. OF the twenty-five persons elected
/ to the Vice Presidency five died while
occupying that Office, one resigned. and
/ four became President. From this state.
! ment it will be readily seen that the
/ chance that Second Vice President
might become President is not so very
remote.
About the only argument that is made
aganst the bill is that the time has come
/ for a constitutional convention, and that
no more amendments TO the constitution
ougb; 20 be adopted which have not been
recommended by properly called con-
venton. It is probable. however, that it
will be a long time before a constitutional
convention is called. There is too great a
fear that if a convention should be called
amendments would be urged, aud per-
haps adopted, which would entirely
change the character OF the present in
. strument.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
Tho pool-sclIinc orhinnnce

The ordinance adopted by the Council
last Wednesday night prohibiting pool
selling in this city on base ball games
meets with general approval. The argu.
ment that bucket shops are permitted TO
exist, and that it is hardly fair to prohibit
one form Of gambling and permit anotheris
not sound The existence OF one evil is
no excuse for the existence of another. II
all forms OF gambling were prohibited the
community would be better on. II we
cannot remedy all evils. however. 1t is
certainly wise TO remedy as many as we
can.
Pool selling on ball games Is especially
Objectionable, because OF us attractions tor
boys and young men who are not addict.
ed 20 other forms Of gambling. Boys take
a deep interest in base ball, and they are
very certain tnat they can judge correctly
Of the merits Of the cOntesting clubs.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
Frona "a London Truth.


One day I was sitting in the Chancery,
when an aged Englishman entered. Il want"
he said, you to marry my daughter" Az first
| understood that he wished me to be the
bridegroom, but he explained that was only
TO be the celebrant, and that she las to marry
a Frenchman. "He is a sCOundrel." he OBJ
served. Then WHY" | asked, "let him
marry your daughter" HE has. alas" he
replied, gained her affections. and lfhe does
not marry her, he will run away with her."
81 suppose that you are richp' | said. II am
more than rich" he replied. Il have an IN
fallible system at roulette. This is my
daughters dOwry, and it is to learn the sys
tenn that the Frenchman marrles her."
wv ell" said, come with the pair tO-mor-
row morning. and we VIII marry them"
The next day they appeared and were m ar
red. The girl was pretty blonde, but the
man was not precisely an individual to whom
a wise father would either have intrusted his
ducats or his daughter. After the cere-
Weisbaden, and the Frenchman-now
the possessor of bride and
system-cOmmenced to play the latter. 1t
was an absurd one-a sort of progression on
certain numbers on the roulette board; but
the curious thing about il was that he always
won, and actually made several hundred
francs by it. A few days after | was explain
ing all this to French Secretary of Legation.
He startled me by the observation that, whilst
the English girl was the wife of the French
man, the Frenchman was not the husband of
the Englishwoman. If we told him thisI was
afraid that he would leave the bride. who
would remain in the singular position Of be-
ing wife without husband. So we agreed
that the French Secrets airy should send for the
bridegroom and practice pi1us fraud. He
explained to him that. whilst he was really
married, he had violated the law by getting
married before fulfilling the legal obligations,
and that for this he was liable to punishment.
The only way. he added tn get out of the mess
was for him to be married again at the French
Legation. Luckily the man knew nothing
about law so the knot was at last efectually
tied round his neck.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22

Bratt5sboro, ", Letter to the 50. Louis Globe
Democrat.

Brattleboro, ", Letter to the 50. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The town of Somerset, which lies on the
back borders of Windh am county. and teens
with a population of e. souls. II ~ whom are
voters. is trying to make trouble for too
spunkT new postmistress, Mrs. sutton, VINO
has planted the post Office in n box by the
kitchen stove, and insists on locking the hous e
and going visiting just when she Dieases In
short, she has made the proclamation that
the post Office will be open only on two days
OF the week Post ONCE Inspector L. b.
Samson has jus been over there to persuade
the woman that nothing but ten hours day
would do for the service, but she simply told
him that two DAYS in the week was enough
and that she didn't propo-e to tie herself IN
to that post Office or stay at home il she
wanted to go gslting-not for Mr.. Chase
nor for Mr.. SAMSON nor for the United States
Post Olice Department.
Mrs. sutton thus defes the United States
government and all It's agents in Wndham
county; and not only that but she bids de-
fianceto all classes Of society in Somerset, the
rich as well a. the poor, the seventeen voters
as well rs the fifty other people about her
But she has little To fear. as Somerset Is IN a
wild, mountainous region, about thirty miles
from a good road, and not likely again % he
visited for some time by government IN
spector. The six y-seven souls Of that town
have got to fight it out alone with the plucky
uOstmistFcss
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22

From our di spatches yesterday it is APP
parent that if Congress doesn't soon pass
the bill adopted by the Senate last week,
to treat Canadian fishermen just as our
fishermen are treated by the Canadian
authorities, our fishermen will take it
upon themselves to open hostllities with
Canada.
1t seems that one schooner has left the
port of New York armed with SO inch
yacht guns. These guns will throw shot
with sufficient force to penetrate steel
armor an inch thick at the distance of a
mile.
The Captain of this schooner is reported
to have said that he did not propose to
permit Canadian pirate to seize his ves-
sci, and it is highly probable that he
meant exactly what he said. If he should
have an exchange of shots with one Of
Canada's vessels it is probable that this
country and Great Britain would speedily
come to some agreement with respect to
this fishery business.
1t is rather STRANGE that Canada should
show such hostility to our fishermen.
The Herald, in commenting on the acts
VI Cdudud, anu tue measures WHICH nave
been proposed in the Canadian Parlla-
ment bearing upon the fishery issue. says
that the only presidents for such meas
ures are those adopted by the Parliament
of England when endeavoring to coerce
the American colonies into submission TO
unjust legislation, and which finally led
to the Revolution.
There have been no acts of hostility in
American ports to Canadian fishing YES
sells. They have bought bait in our ports
and have been permitted to depart in
peace. Only day or two ago,a Nova Scotia
fishing schooner bought several hundred
barrels of bait at East Port, Me-, and
departed on her voyage unquesuOned and
unmOlested. Our fishing vessels, how
ever, which enter Canadian ports for bait
are likely to be seized, and two have been
seized. 1t may be that in the near future
ourMinister to England will have a chance
to earn at least a part of his salary. 1t is
probable that our government Will see
what can be done by means Of diplomacy
and retaliatory measures before assuming
an aggressive attitude. Being without a
navy we are hardly in position to be
very aggressive. However, if the occa-
sion occurs there is no doubt that the
administration will assume a sufficiently
defiant tone to satisfy national pride.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
VAN WYCK,s BOW LEGS.
The Way the Nebraska Senator Drove
the Richest Senator from the Field of
Debate


Debate
James r. RdnddH in AW51Sssd Chronicle.
During the inter-Sta commerce debate,
Leland Stanford, OF California, by far the
richest Senator. stood in the front aisle, hard
by Gov. Browns seat, and protested against
certain attacks on railway property. He
helped build and now controls the most stu
pendous transoontinental system in the
world. He is large, portiy man, with big,
we'll. haped head, profusely covered win
chestnut hair thinly stresked with gray
threads. His moustache and beard are almost
white, in curious contrast with his dark mar.
His nose Is straight, prominent pro-
nOunced Pointed, bushy eyebrows
stand guard, as it were, over cavernous
nant. His attire is a conventional black suit
and elegant, as is his expansive linen well
displayed at the throst, breast and wrists.
HIS utterance Is that one habituated to COM
mand, but made diff tent by unusual enyi-
ronment. At first his husky tones were in
audible, but gradually crew sonorous, but
never loud. He placed his chubby right hand
on his bosom and gesticulated plainly win
the left arm. A man worth S50.000,0OO ana
one of the greatest of railroad builders ana
presidents, naturally had something to say on
such theme, but the presence of senator an
Wyck near by appeared to annoy him. Pretty
soon, the Nebraska wild man dashed IN and.
IN his shrlllest notes, began to ask stanford
ugly questions. Van Wyck is an exact repro
ducton OF Mr.. Punch, thin, gray-halred, tlsh-
eyed. beardless, with the beak of yulture
and the chin OF a bad-tempered Old woman.
He worried the burly millionaire as buffalo
gnat would torment an elephant, and hnally
drove him ponderousy and Indignantly
from the field. As Van Wyck stood up
surveying the retiring mammoth, somebody
called Nance's attention to the Nebraska
mans legs which, like pair of names, are
bowed preposterously. To conceal this de-
feet Van Wyck wears baggy pantaloons.
Vance said: ''Those legs remind me of dar-
KEY OF mine who went for the first time to a
menagere When he got home l ssked him
how he liked the beasts. He answered that
he thought the lions and tigers did very well,
but the elephant had too much loose leather
around his legs to suit him."
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
A Woman with a Mission.

From the Lynn Union.
She detained with fervid vlgoron the misery
of the Digger. cut a most ara matte figure
while lamenting his condition.
And she sail the bare Numidian and the
much tanned Abyesinlan and the Can
nbal and the Guinean oYerfowed her
with contriton.
And her deep sighs weighed the breezes, for
those lands where bread nor cheese is,
for the Turks and the Chineses, she was
filed with deep emotion;
And her ardent love as greater, all the more
she strove to cater to those tribes beyond
the equator or across a distant ocean.
And like Rachel, that sweet Jewess, she wept
tears as thick as glue is, at the action of
st. Louis, and Chicag0's degradation;
And that these towns where such SIN is, such
a race for golden guineas, might be made
as good as Lynn Is, was her prayer and
duplication.
For the wild man of Alaska or of barbarous
Madagascar, she would say, if you would
ask her, that her love was deep and
tender;
While her husband, luckless victim. look ed as
il the Fates had licked him, and through
back streets where they kicked him.
walked about with one suspender.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22

They are so certain, in fact, that they are
too often ready to risk their money on
their judgment.
There are a few, Of course, who can
afford to lose whatever amount they may
see fit to bet on u game, but the great ma
jJrity Of those who invest in pools have to
stint themselves, and those dependent
upon them, in order TO get the necessary
money. 1t is not improbable that the
buying OF pools leads very
considerable percentage of boys
into committing wrongful acts.
So confident are they that they will win
that they are tempted to appropriate the
money OF others to enable them to buy
pools, believing that thew will be able to
return 1t, and that no one will suffer by
their act or know of the wrongful appro-
prlation. Too often their calculations
miscarry, and they are led to commit
other wrongful acts with the hope Of COW
ering up those which they have already
committed.
There Is another feature OF the pool
selling business that is worthy of notice.
1t is that buying base ball pools may
create taste for other kinds Of gambling,
which may become so strong as TO destroy
inclination and even capacity for regular
occupation. Young men of good prospects
who frequent base ball pool rooms may in
few years find that they have wrecked
their lives. 1t is certain that those who
bet on games take greater interest in
them, as rule, than those who do not,
and they are pretty certain to neglect
their business in proportion to the fire.
quency with which they buy pools. The
prohibitory ordinance is legislation in the
right direction.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
SENATOR Edmunds, Fences.

The whole country seems to feel an in
terest in Senator Edmunds. This inter-
est is not altogether a friendly one-in
tact. no doubt twO-thirds of the people of
the Union, with little respect for party
lines, feel an untriendly interest in him
and his future. The Democrats have very
little cause to love him, for he has on
many occasions taken delight in posing as
a bitter and relentless partisan. A large
proportion of the Republicans, likewise,
have no love to waste on him, for he has
stood in the way of the glorification of
some of their party idols and thrown cold
water on some OF their pet schemes.
1t seems to be pretty certain now that
Senator Edmunds cannot retain his seat
another term without an effort. The OPP
position TO his reelection has been
growing in the Green Mountain State
ever since the Presidential election. 1t
is stated that his opponents are now or
ganizing, and that the Edmunds question
will be the leading one in the Gubern ato-
rial canvass in the Republican party of
Vermont this summer. MIR. Edmunds'
supporters, If report be true, are not idle.
II Is sald mat lhey already nave duOer-
material candidate IN The field IL the per-
son Of Col. J. h. Batcheller, and that they
are determined to control the Republican
State Convention, and secure LeClsla-
ture that can be relied on to return 3D.
munds TO the United States Senate.
There is an impression abroad that Mr..
Edmunds would have little chance for re-
election were it not for his unquestioned
ability which has given his State great
prominence in national affairs. Vermont
IS for Blaine, and it is exceedingly irri-
tating for Blaine's friends in the State Ia
know that their leading Senator is his I'M
compromising enemy. AS Vermont has
only one Ejmunds, however, it may be re-
garded as reasonably certain that be will
be reelected
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
INDEX TONEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

SPECIAL NoTIcE-Change Of Gauge s., +.
kW.Ry: Notice to shippers :, F. & w. Ry;
Sand for sale by Warren Scharf Asphalt Co.;
Prof Dexter and Bride.
PAVING STONES FOR SALE-A. r. Salas 4
Co.
For sALE-Good viii and Stock Of Hard
ware. Stove and Tinware Business, l67 Brough-
son street.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTlsEMENTs-He
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale: Board; Miscellaneous.
AGENTS WANTED-R. Somiesky, Potts
town, Pa.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
Mr.. Browns Secret out.


The artistJ. 6. Brown WAS a witness a dav
or two ago In a suit at law. After he had
given his testimony the artist was somewhat
astonished % hear the Judge inquire in u
mntter-of-fact way, as II he were taking IN
the examination where the counsel had left
IL: "Are you the Mr.. Brown who paints the
pictures NJ street gaminss'
Mr. Brown bowed assent.
"Well.' continued the Judge. "there is
something / have long wanted TO know. I
have noticed that your boys have phenome-
nally dirty clothes and phenomenaly clean
faces, which is contrary TO my experience,
and / want TO ask you why you represent
them so.n
"Oh," said the artist. "the answer TO that il
easy. | cannot sell pictures Of boys with dirty
faces; FOLKS won't have them, and you know
| must sell my pictures"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
A PrculInr Grandpn.


FROM 20 b0si0n teHlNg Rdc0fd
Little lnez Is the daughter OF q newspaper
man iu this city. who lives 40 Mt. Pleasant
and who Is quite a lover OF the weed. A few
weeks ago her grandfather, an old Bapti4t
deacon from New Hampshire. WIS on "a visit
here to lnel. She was sitting IN his Ian one
day aud observed he was moving his lips She
gazcd at him for q moment, and -atd:
"Graudpa, do YOU chew tobacco"
"NO, my dear. never
inez sat still for % moment. "Grandpa, do
you smoker she SAID.
"No, my dear"
Again lntz was silent. but, Frightening up,
she gnzed at her grandfather and asked:
GRANDPA, are sou mani"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
The Effects of the Atmosphere.

from me IeodS SytingS.
Can man liar in Boston and the chances
are that the man OF the second part will
smile pleasantly and say: I'm bet you $40 you
cant prove it," On the other hand, if a man
IN IeNas calls another a lIar. he is good for at
east six months in the hospital. If, indeed, he
succeeds IN evading the silent saIcophagus
Inc dl1erence Is in the atmosphere, we sup
pose. Now in the South it is not
considered in good taste or cafe for
the editor to monkey with the do
you would look in vain in Southern papers for
the silly twaddle and vulgar comments that
appear in some of the daily journals of the
North, particularly Of New York concerning
the marriage of President Cleveland. Such
things would not be tolerated in "barbarous"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22
The FIsherles Question.

from the BroobLV1l 2 f0Ie Dem)
IL is not one for heat or defamation, but for
argument. 1t is a purely legal question and
should be settled by the law. and treaties on
the whole subject. The American people are
not excited over the natter, but they have a
very strong desire to know precisely where
thelr government stands and what view 1t
takes OF the rights of the American dBhcrm en-
under the existing laws and treaties. -E
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-22

zone OF the ablest OF the reformed "anti-
tariff thinkers" is Editor Mcclure, OF the
Philadelphia Times. He is thoroughly
convinced that tarif reform Is not only a
necessity. but that IL is inevitable. In
discussing the tariff reform measures.
now before Congress, in his paper of
Thursday. ne saws: "The crudities OF the
present tariff are becoming more and
more apparent as It's antiquities are con-
strued and put into practical operation.
Party leaders look to elections only, and
they let the great industrial interests
OF the country be kicked from post
70 pillar 10 promote mean party
ends. The blunder in the present
tariff on worsted and woolens alone.
is likely TO condemn a score ofmil,ions OF
capital and A. many thousands Of opera
tiyes 10 idleness; but the Republicans
refuse 10 give the tariff revision they
promised; the Democrats agree that there
should be tariff revision, but defeat their
pledge by disagreement as % the theory
OF revision, and between the dishonesty
and vagaries Of politicians, the business
OF the nation suffers incidentally. Let
the Republicans move as the Democrats
have moved for tariff revision, and sensi.
PIE, practical revenue reform, In entire
harmony with industry, can By accom-.
plissed.