The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-12-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


The water in Lake Huron has
risen eighteen inches during the past
year.
"A poor young man out at the ell
bows does not feel like laughing in his
sleeves. -NeD Orleans PicayfsRe.
1t is safe enough to say that earth
quakes originate under the sea- No
one can crawl under there to find out.
An exchange says salt is aremarka-
bic remedial agent. So it is, indeed.
1t has been known to even cure ham,
LosceH Courier.
An old lady in Holland scrubbed
her sitting-room floor until she fell
through it into the cellar. Excess in
all things is wrong.
The bravest are not always the ten
derest, as the poet sings. There is the
red game rooster, for instance; he will
fight Il bird double his size, but he cuts
up tough in pot-pie. Boston Gazette.
-Wife-.'Why, aren't you going to
wear your dress suit, my dear?" Hus-
band Not much. The last time I
wore my dress suit at a party young
woman ordered me to bring her cup
of coffee and be quick about it.'-N
Y. Sun.
Charles Mathews, being one even
ing in the front of the house and seeing
a gentleman putting on his coat. pre-
paratory to leaving, exclaimed: 81 beg
pardon, sir, but there is still another
act (which is precisely the reason"
replied the other, why | am going"
--Husband-"You know that pretty
Mrs. T" Wife-.'For goodness sake,
John, don't talk about that pretty Mrs.
F. / can't go anywhere without hear
ing her praises sounded, until am sick
to death of the sound of her name"
Husband-sI was only going to tell you
of a rumor heard about her to-day"
Wife-'sA rumor? o, John, tell me
all about it; that's good soul. IN
T. Sam
--Manager-'.You have not got
proper appreciation of art, and | can
not give you more than twenty-five
dollars week. " Pretty Actress
.'But / was getting one hundred dol
lars just after Twas divorced, you must
remember. Manager-"Oh! you are
the actress who was divorcedP' Act
ress-"Y Yes" Manager-"And eloped
with the French Count?' Actress
Eyes. Manager .sThree hundred
dollars a week. IN 7. Graphic.
Angry citizen (who has just
dropped a coin in the haD-.I'm
good mind to thrash you. Why, you're
an imposter; you're not blind. What
do you mean by having that sign on
you reading: Help the Blind2' y Beg
gar-"By gum your right, boss.
Don't blame me. It's de ole woman's
fault. You see, can't read, and she
has put de wrong sign on by mistake.
This is my lame day; tomorrow is my
blind day. - It'd Bits.
-Werker-"Hullo. Harold; I'm sur
prised to see you at this hour. Iheard
you had gone to work Harold (of-
fended) Nav, old chappie, you-aw
don't mean that now.n Werker-
Indeed, heard So" Harold--"Well,
-aw-you didn't believe it, did you?"
Werker-s.No; I knew you too we'll -
Harold Thanks, deah boy, thanks!
rm-aw-g glad the base slandah we
ceived the tweatment it deserved. -
Rambler
MIR. Wayback beats all
what queer things happen nowadays.
We've got the durnest mystery you
ever see in our town now" Omaha
Man--ssAh! some crime, l suppose"
''Well, yes, something like that You
see tramp has confessed that he stole
ten dollars from the contribution box
of our church. - '.Yes, but where's the
mysterYp You know who took it,
"Why, we can't imagine how it got
there, you see. - Omaha World.
IT, nlAo.x