The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1886-04-20


few hours before was fiery red, was
now a glossy black. Suddenly. amid
the slaughter, tho enemy signaled for a
nlomentary armistice; the roar of can.
non and rattle Of infantry ceased; the
commander Of the onward pressing
hosts called out Surrender, st. John,
surrender st. John drew himself up
and proudly replied: The Old Guard
dyes; 1t never surrendersl'
Mr.. W1NKs III see that Mary T..
Booth gets S4,000a year for editing
Ha1per's B0zor." ....
Mrs. Winks-''$4, 900, and Just for
writing few lines every week2"
Mr.. Wlnks-"Oh, she has more to do
than that. She has charge Of the en-
tire paper"
Mrs. .Wlnks-"Not the patterns, ,toop"
Mr., Winks---''Oh, yes"
Mrs. Winks-s'Then what in the
world does George William Curtis
do?''
"SPEAKINa Of the difficulty that for
elgners experience in giving the prop.
er accent to English" said Captain
Boslum, reminds me Of the fact that
When came hlther could not speak
English, yet you cannot detect in my
conversation foreign accent.n
10 acquire such perfection must
have taken much time" replied a
lady.
"Oh, yes; 1t required years."
Must have been young when you
came to this placer"
"Yes; was very young. In fact
was born here"
MINISTER'S WIFE.-"Iow terribleI
this paper says that Methodist min
lister and his family in tie rural dis
tricts Of New York were recently dis
covered to be On the verge Of starva-
vaGion."
M1N1sTER--"Well, be might have
known enough to keen q big dog"
Minister'S Wife-''What for?n
Minister-"Tosca scare off donation par
ties.'
AN uncouth-luoking young man from
the Sandwich Islands, the son Of mis-
slonary was once requested to addressa
missionary Sunday school In New
York. He began by asking, "Where
40 you suppose I am from, children?"
"From the country, sir" blurted out
rough boy In the corner
''HoT often do you present your
bill to that young fellowp" said a gen.
tleman to a cfgar-store man when a
dude told him to charge him with a
package Of cigarettes. "Quarterly,
SIR" "WhatP You don't mean to
say you trust him for three montns?"
"'Oh, no, Of course not. Quarterly In
this case means every time the bill am
cunts to a quarter"
THE teacher Of Chelsea Sunday
school recently asked her pupils the
following question, expecting "sin" for
an ans swer: "What. children causes the
most trouble and misery In the worldp'
For time no one answered, but finally
a small, brlght-looklng boy held up his
hand and gravely said: 'skeeters,
darn 'em."
VERY NARROW EsCAPE-A youth
Of Hibernian extraction In chopping
wood with hatchet the other day was
80 unfortunate as to Craze the thumb
Of his left hand with which he was
steadving the piece Of kindling he was
splitting, Ruefully gazing at the In.
Jured member, he remarked: "Begorra,
1t was a good thing did not have
hold Of the handle with both hands or
I'd have cut it Off, sure" 4l
"How pity the poor such q night
as thls?" said Blande, as he sat In his
comfortable apartment. "Then why"
asked Bluff, don't you put on your
coat and see If you cannot render as.
sistance to some Of them?" "Ahp' re-
piled Blande, "then 1 shouldn't be 80
comfortable as am now, and I might
forget the poor and begin to pity N.Y.
self. That would be selfish you know"
Miss NoBoDY-"And 80 your sister
married an Italian count?"
Miss Somebody---"Yes, a genuine
count. His title is perfect.n
Miss Nobody--"He accompanied her
home, supposep"
Miss Somebody--"Yes. Harkl There
ne comes now. would know his hand
organ among'a q thousand"
Mrs. M1NKs. -~-"What has become of
Miss FinksYn ...'.t
Mrs. Winks--"she got married.''
Mrs. Minks-"You don't say sol
Did she marry well2"
Mrs: Winks-"No, not a well, a, beer
BARREL" '-'
YOUNG Sntfkins is so madly In love
with Amelia Popinjay that when she
contided to him the other evening that
she adored black eyes, he stole away
and bired a gstalwart young Irlshman
tosdecorate his countenance with those
ornaments, at fifty ccnts an eye.
THE wife Of a Methodist preacher In
Georgia takes turns with him at preuch.
ing. When his parishioners see the old
gentleman digging worms 4 In the back-
yard they know it is his day off. #
81 AM not dead, I am not deadln
sings a magazine poet. We don't
blame the poet; we only blame the Cd.
itor for not Juggling him up couple of
stories higher before he slung him out.
EVERY farmer should have q frost
proof storing-room, either In the, barn,
or on q level with the kitchen floor, for
storing vegetables or fruits that are to
be used In the house. Roots for stock
should De stored IN the barn, however,
In preferences to3the arrangement neai
the house. Double walls, filled with
sawdust, Will mike an excellent frost.
proof house, and windows maybe pro Z,
vided Of double-glazed sash. .'1 61a