Daily Republican., 1886-09-14
Mr.. Dean and His once.

ltohhuNICATkD.I
This article was written some two
weeks since and sent to Every Even
ing, and by some mishap it no doubt
went into that garbage pail which
every newspaper office keeps, 1.-THE
waste basket" like all things that de-
part never to return ait went to where
the woodbine twincth," only that l
took care to keep its ghost, which is
still alive and kicking. Now, Mr..
Editors, mine is hard lot; nobody
takes any notice of me when they are
on the hunt of candidates for office. 1t
does seem to me that my entrance
upon this stage of action was under an
unlucky planet. told the mass of
the people through the columns of
Every Evening that II wanted an
office" Was it because every person
who is an applicant for office has such
@ reputation for lying that no one
would believe me, when the matter OF
fact was when that declaration was
made to the people there was nothing
in 1t but solid chunks of truth. Yet to
make people believe and give you at
tenton is one of the arts of the poll
tician which myself must yet learn.
My loot, no doubt, was put in it when
that sentence was uttered, 81 am
needy" 1t was plain to the fellows
who manage such exhibitions as the
bear garden farce-called Democratic
State COnveniion-enacted at Dover
that had no salary grab from which
TO furnish railroad fares, whiskey or
salary swag, all of which l have
learned are great essentials in sue
cessful political campaign. 1t is true,
now and then some poor deluded
granger, some railroad man or some dis
appointed Office seeker or sorehead will
volunteer to me his support for
the purpose OF my getting an office.
But even then there is such a diversi V
of opinions among them that my
strength as a candidate becomes weak
ened. They ask me what office |
want, fearful and trembling my reply
| would like to be governor, they re-
iiplied and said yes, you'd make a good
governor over an odorless excavator,
and ask where's your money, you fool,
do you ever expect to be a candidate
for governor with ut money? Then
they point out TO me, and say why
look what money hem fellows shelled
out in st. Georges Hundred, and see
the grand results that it brought about
Why says one OF the fellows from
Middletown Can old friend of mine
one of the candidates lieutenant of the
man who "got the nomination on the
first ballot went to see his lady love
in that town and had his coat pocket
so full of greenbacks to the extent that
she noticed it, and he remarked that in
that roll of notes there was 500, and
that he had to go and distribute il
lamong 2S fishermen in Port Penn, who
had to be attended to; he went to that
place the agent OF the temperance man,
who when interviewed by the New
York World said, ~ don't really
think my candidacy calls for any such
movements or that the cond ton OF
Delaware warrants it, The young
man referred to came home after dis
tributing the swag so much the worse
of other drink than lemonade that he
] was not able to care for himself. j
am told that with the swag distributed
! in st. Georges Hundred at the
late delegate election it has
made the coin so plentiful tat
the hundred collectors propose to pay
lup at once all the back taxes of that
hundred now long overdue to our
worthy County Treasurer Herbert.
1t will be a little consolation to him, il
he did not get the nomination as a
candidate for Governor, 10 know that
at least he will have the handling OF
some OF the swag SO literally dis
ipensed in the hundred that is the
mother of gubernatorial candidates.
oh, why was | not born on that fertile
soil OF candidate production? Had |
been so there would be no need of my
now bewailing my sad lot and disap-
lpointment. | rather silently and yet
pleasantly approached a person who
was well-kuown TO me to be well up
in the ways OF manipu ating political
parties, and with whom | had silently
and faithfully worked in the Demo
cratic traces without even kick or a
balk, TO know if he could not get for
me or help me to get an Office. He
smiled and blandly said yes, he knew
of just such an Office as would suit me
and would do all ilf his power to as
sist me to get it. My spirits began to
rise from such sweet and pleasant as
surances from so great, good and old a
friend as he was. | then was inclined
to ask what position he thought me
well suited for, when he deigned to
reply that they wanted sone one to
feed the hogs at the Almshousc, a
place that of late has become noted for
political imbeciles, and although it
might look to me not to be very high
position, there was no place about the
Almshouse but what had lots of good
plckings connected Herewith if / was
only sharp enough to see just where
they lay. Now this was all taken in
good part, for my confidence in human
nature was such that it was not posi-
BILE for me to suspect SO tried and true
!, a political friend, yet how frail staff
is human nature to depend upon when
you are in need. This is not the
first time that | have been un-
fortunate in my misplaced con-
fidence both in business matters
and in politics by parties connected
with me in both capacities. yet occu-
plying the position of the niger what
didn't expect nothing. l, like him,
was not much disappointed. This
same good old friend said he wanted
to give me some advice, and that was
that was fool to expect to get an
office without money. Knowing my
shortness in the figure line, began to
talk temperance, honesty, morality.
etc. to him, when he renlied to h