The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-10-15
sauire Hobbs on the Cyclone.

Squire Hobbs on the Cyclone.
Now, hope none of my dearly below
ed and long suffering readers will mis-
construe the meaning of the above
somewhat startling and airy subject
Do not picture me as reposipg upon the
downy lap of a meek and gentle cy-
clone, for never so repose. Oh. no;
l wouldn't think of doing such
thing. l always repose upon some 9th.
er lap.
DO not imagine that have succeed
ed in lassoing wild, frisky, howling
cyclone, and broken it to work in har-
ness. either single or double, or to ride
bareback. A cowboy might do this. but
am not cowboy.
Not that l am cowardly, for have
vague suspicion Il believe have left
it in my other vest pocket, though) that
there is a vast amount of bravery Sc
creted somewhere about my physical
being that only requires suitable oc-
casion to call it forth in all its majestic
dignity; but the suitable occasion has
not yet made its appearance.
believe it IS waiting to take root in
the verdant sod above my grave, where
it will grow up, blossom. and send its
fragrance galloping about upon the
molecules of ether, herald'ng to the de-
lighted public what l might have
been had the worlds attention been di-
rectca to my most,exccllent character
istics and capabilities.
No, l have never ridden a cyclone
In fact, have never had desire
to ride one. l am naturally timid
about such matters. ] have always
been noted as very careful man. 1t
was that great and good man, Mark
Twain. believe. who said, "Discretion
is the better part of valor." Now, |
like that. Its inspiration prevents me
from acting rashly on many occasions.
This is one of them.
never expect to ride a cyclone. 1
am constitutionally opposed to it. l
wouldn't ride one; no. not even if my
mothcr-in-law were to command NE,
and emphasize her remarks with
broom-handle.
Very little is known about the
cyclone. When making neighborly
call it never remains long enough to
enable us to make its acquaintance.
Its origin is cnveloped in black pail
of mystery, too. Zoology gives it no
place among its skeletons. we look for
it in vain in the herbariun, and we
know from experience that it is too IN
dnstr.ous for a fossil.
1t is believed by many that it has no
origin, but that it Turks in dark caves.
gloomy hollows, dense forests, and
other convenient hiding places, whence
it can pounce out unawares upon its
unsuspecting victim.
There is u tradition that it is in uni
son of all the unsavory spirits cast out
OF those hogs, spoken of in some vol
ume q have forgotten the name of the
book) on ancient history. bv a renown-
ed conjurer q can't recall his name
just now) who performed many Won
derful tricks in days of old
suppose the cyclone could relate a
very interesting autobiography if prop
erly interviewedI but no reporter has
ever yet been found who had the ..galln
to stand up in the august presence of u
cyclone and PROFOUND interrogatories.
The cyclone is very industrious. 1t
never gets tired. | don't remember
that l ever saw one sitting in the shade
calmly resting.
1t is very strong, and cam perform
some wonderful feats. | saw one
throw Il brick house through q high
stone wall without making a hole IN
the wall or dislocating Il brick in the
house. (Now look here. if YOU call me
Lar again l'll stop right here and not
tell you another word about the cyclone
Things have. come to pretty pass. in
deed. when an honest man must call
into requisition the services of anotary
public whenever he wishes to make u
statement.)
On another occasion saw o cyclone
turn well wrong side out as neatly rs
miller would turn meal-sack. This
is Il fact, because l was there and wit
ucssed the feat. L remember that | was
on the outside of that well when the
operation began. but when it was fin
ished l was on the inside.
knew of another well that cyc,one.
turned upside down without removing
a stone in the wall, and left it stand like
a tower above the ground 1t soon
filled itself with water A town has
sprung up around it,, and it is now used
rs the standpipe, for the city water.
works.
could tell you of many other true in
ciaents, but am very proud of my
vcracity. and don't want it tainted bv
suspicion.
The cyclone is great dancer. In
fact. it is always dancing. Its favorite
dance is the waltz 1t is not particular
about its partners. forit will waltz with
anything, from q whte-oak toa speckled
cow. or from a stone mansion to a pret-
tv girl. 1t is not always as polite as the.
rules of etiquette demand. for it never
waits for the consent of its partner.
never saw anyone that wanted to waltz
the second time with cyclone CAica-
go Ledger.
| A Pleasant Pastime.