davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

A TRIPEDAL CARD RECEIYER.-
We noticed in a house a tripedal card
receiver standing near the front door
which owes its existence to an ingenious
boy Of II, whose chemically lean purse
forbade the purchase of a worthy
Christmas gift for his mother. Three
broom sticks closely wound with Irvine
like a whip handle are crossed and
screwed together and then rubbed with
shellac after being stained with Van
lyke brown. A circular box cover is
ual!ei on for a top. and in 1t a circle is
cut out large enough to sink a soup
plate, the deep part only goes In, leav-
ing the rim to rest on the wood. The
whole top is covered very loosely with
push before the plate, which was taken
tom Il closet full of willow pattern
ware, is put in position. All around
the plate, just catching the edge, are
studded brass elover-headed nails, such
IS are used in church decorations, which
form an ornamental addition.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

''I'LL bet they're married" whispered
Tom to Charley, in reference toa couple
on the other side of the car. They
haven't spoken ten words either Of
them SINCE they came in, and not so
much as a smile has lighted up his face
or hers. Yes, sir, you can make up
your mind they are married. You
can't always judge by appearances,
Tom," replied Charley. ''They are
not married. She is a thief and he Is
an officer carrying her off to jail"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Engineers have attained tosucn aceu-
lacy That tGey can cut a tunnel through
Il mountain working from both ends,
and have the two cuttings meet in the
| center within a few inches. The degree
of accuracy IS sometimes even greater
than this. At the MuscOneetcong tun-
mel on the Lehigh Valley railroad, for
instance, the alignment tested 10 four
| hundredths OF a foot or less than half
an inch. In THIS case levels were run
| over a mountain 5000 feet long and
$50 feet above grade; also into the
tunnel at each end about 1850 feet to
the point where the headings meet.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

"WHY do you always wear a bunch
of flowers in your buttonhole?" in
quired Miss Fussanfeather, while Mr..
TItepants was calling the other evening.
",Oh. it gives one an air of freshness, ="
responded the poetical man.
"WeIl, replied the young lady, frank
ly, 81 don't think you need any artidc-
ial means to prove your freshness"
And then Titepants went out and sat
on the hitching post to think it over.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

IN the drapery of the drawing-room
there is scope for the production of
graceful and artistic effects, and as
curtains rich and delicate in color and
made of materials which hang in soft
folds gives just the finishing touches
which blend the decorations of the
room into n harmonious whole, so the
harsh rep hangings in strong crude,
crimsOns or blues and greens destroy
all delicacy of color and produce a
Giscord which no amount of careful
treatment in the tints of walls and
woodwork can ever c%ounteract,
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

A LAWYER, who was not very hand
some and who, moreover, prided him.
self on his tact in perplexing witnesses
In court, said to a young lady. Upon
my word, miss. you are pretty" Prompt
ly, without the slightest hesitation, she
replied: 81 wish 1 could return the
compliments sir; 1 would if l were not
bound to speak the TRUTH
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

"LooK at that dirty little boy, man.
ma"
Eyes, my son."
"Why, he is just black. How 1 hate
a dirty boy"
"You shouldn't hate anybody. You
know we are all made out of dust, and
one little boy is just the SAINT as anoth-
er in the sight,"
"Well," Interrupted the urchin, con-
clusively, she must be made out of coal
dust"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

|SCovILL'S SAEsAPARILLA, OF BLOOD
AND LIVER SYRUP, will cure Scrofulous
faint, Rheumatism, White Swelling, GoHt,
Goitre, Consumption, Bronchitis, Nervous
Debility, Malaria, and all diseases arising
from an impure condition of the blood.
Certificates can be presented from many
leading physici ms, ministers, and heads OF
families throughout the land, endorsing il
in the highest terms. We are constantly
in receipt of certificates Of cures from the
most reliable sources, and we recommend
it as the best known remedy for the cure oil
the above diseases.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

RUSSIAN JELLY FOR INYALIDs..-
Instead of throwing away the peel
and core of apOles from making a pie
Or pudding, put tom in a Jar and
pour over the % the Sri water; put
the jar by tbt >SN, under . oven I'M
til the wat Nof Nelly Of the
apes; strait - \ GER off, and
throw away X i add to the
apple-water ,e. S I%onful of large
sage; set it to AZ IRE until the sage
has absorbed all the water: then put it
IN a mould, and let it be ready for
use; to be eaten either hot or cold. A
little lemon juice added improves the
flavor. The proportion Of peel and
water must be according to the quail
tIty of the apples, as ome are so mnch
sharper than others. No decay should
be allowed to be In the peel. Rhubarb
Glay be used in the same way. The
Jelly should taste strongly of fruit.
THIS jelly is most refreshing in sick
uess,
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

ORANGE CREAM.-PaLe a Seville
orange exceedingly fine, mix with the
juice of four large ones a pint OF water
and eight ounces Of sugar, put into a
white-lined saucepan, and stir in the
w~ell-beaten whites Of five eggs. Keep
stirring one way till 1t thlckens, then
STRAIN through a piece of n1slin and
stir till cold, then add the yelks Of the
eggs previously beaten. Stir over a
slow fire till almost boiling: pour into a
basin and stir till nearly cold, then
pour into glasses.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

An old physician, retired from practice, having
mad Placed IN his hands by an East India mission
any Inc formula Of a simple vegetable remedy for
the sIeedy and permanent cure Of Consumption,
bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma, and all Throat and
lang Affections, also a positive and radical cure
Tor Nervous Debility and all Nervous Complaints,
after having tested its wonderful curative powers
in thousands of cases, has felt 1t his duty 10 make
il Known TO his suffering fellows. Actuated by this
ln"iiye and a desire 70 relieve human suffering, |
WIN send free OF charge, TO all who desire II, this
rec pc, m German, French or English, with full
directions for preparing and using. sent by mat
by addressing VITA stamp, naming this paper, W.
4 MOVES, l4g POrel'S Block, Rochester y. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

A PoULTICE FOR INFLAMMATIoNs.
Take half a pound of linseed meal;
mix with it a t~easpoonful of meat's foot
oil and te%aspoonful of laudanum; pour
it owe sufficient boiling water to make
it into a thick paste; spread it on a large
piece of linen; then sprinkle over a tea
spoonful of raw mustard; lay over
that a piece of thin muslin, and ap.
ply as hot as can be borne.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

AN employe on his rounds put some
new carbons into an electric lamp on
the Bowery and stood on his ladder
looking at a crack IN the globe.
A man who was unsteady on his legs
halted at the foot of the ladder, felt in
ali his pockets, found a match, held 1t
up toward the other man and said:
"Here y'are."
"Here y'are what?" inquired the car
bon man.
"Ainsh going to light Ter up?'' said
the other.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
Simperlng and boisterous mirth are
alike disagreeable.

DR.. WALKERS VINEGAR BIITERs-a
medicine that expels disease without
weakening the patient, exhilarates the
spirits without the aid of alcoholic
poison-curts every phase and conse-
quence Of Indigestion, restores the
shattered nerves, regulates the bowels
and the liver, and imparts to the con-
stitution new strength and elasticity,
Let the sick rejoice.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

How are you coming on, old boy7"
"Bad. I've got a fearful headache,
and al awful taste IN my mouth.
Don't you know some remedy for the
misery Pm suffering from this morn
ing2"
Eyes. know a good cure for it.
Don't get drunk like last night"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

NOTHING will surprise a married
man more than to go home and surprise
his wife limplng around the house
with her little toe bandaged, and to
have her say, in a half ~reproving way
that she don't see why he need keep
such an awful sharp edge on his razor
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

with some thirty other symptoms, mark
the progress Of that terrible disease known
as catarrh. It advances from stage TO
stage Of fearful annoyance, and II neglect
ed, is certain to end in general debility ana
possibly in consumption OF insanity. Dr'
SaCe's Catarrh Remedy will cure it at any
stage, This medicine has been long before
the public, and thousands have been re-
stored to health by its never-tailing virtues
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

FATHERS. Beat three eggs very
light, stir to them two cups of cream
cry buttered flour, add to this very
slowly two cups of milk, then stir in
dfty chopped oysters or clans. Fry i'm
mediately in hot lard. Two cups of
grated corn may be used instead of oys-
tiers or clans, or pineapples, peaches or
apples, but when fruit fritters are made,
they should be sprinkled. when taken
up, with powdered sugar, while the cake
is hot.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
Better face a danger once than be al
ways in fear.


arouses the a~pprehensions of a whole city.
And yet the wild havoc of disease startles
no one. Sad to relate, women suffer from
year to year with chronic diseases and
weaknesses peculiar to their sex, knowing
that they are growing worse with every
day, and still take no measures for their
ewn relief. Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Pre-
scription" is the result of lifelong and
learned study of female complaints. II is
guaranteed 10 cure.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

n WALNUT CAKE.-Prepare II
good white cake, bake in a large tin, one
cake, which, when baked shall not be
over two inches thick. Take the cake
from the tin carefully, and have ready
some boiled frosting into which English
walnut meats have been stirred; chop
the meats a little, but not so as to pre-
vent their being recognized; cover the
cake as o o as removed from the bake
pan very thickly with this nut frosting-
1t is n of the Creamery Battered
Flour receipts.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Husbands! take the hint. Your wife or
your children are liable to take colds from
drafts. Keep on hand Aliens Lung Bal
sam, the best and purest remedy Tor coug9
and colds. 1t contains no opium, and is
harmless. Price, &c, SOC. and 81 per bot
tie, at Druggists.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
EACETTAE

-
Two we'll known frontier gamblers
met Yesterday on Austin avenue.
"HellO. Bill How is thingsf'
blue, Ned, - blue"
"You don't sayl"
"Oh. I'm the most unlucky dog In
Texas. Everything goes agin me-
"Is that SOP"
Eyes; l haven't held higherh TWO
deuces in a year."
That's tough, sure; but your luckIl
change some day."
mo, IT won't. Why, Ned, II ! died,
and went to that beautiful shore that
the parson talks about, don't you know
that some low down son of a gun would
ring in a secondhand harp on me, ana
I'd be fred out for making a dlscordt
You Jest bet on it."
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

The man who is obliged to wander
about a tack besprinkled floor at three
o'clock IN the morning in search of a
light is invariably the one who can't
find his match.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

A CINCINNATI editor intends tC
bald a handsome hotel in Washington,
to be eight stories high. Cincinnati
editors. as their papers show, have a
penchant for tall stories.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

WIFE (anxiously)-"What did that
young lady observe who passed us just
nowP" Husband with a smile of calm
delightl-"Why, my love, she observed
rather a good-looking man walking
with quite a plain looking female, that's
ALL"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
SCrOtuIa of Lungs.

Iamnow 70 years old, and haye suffered for thu
last fifteen years with a lung trouble 1 have spent
thousands Of dollars to arrest the march OF this dis.
eass; but temporary relief was all that I obtained
l was unfit for any manual labor for several years
A friend strongly recommended the use of Swifts
specific Is. s. 81, claiming that he himself had been
greatly benedtto1 by its use in some lung trou oles.
Resolved to try II. The results are remarkable My
cough has left me, my strength has returned, and l
weigh sixty pounds more than l ever did in my life,
1t has been thrae years slace | stopped the u7e OF the
medicine, but 1 have had no return of the disease.
and there ara no pains or weakness felt in my lung e.
lido the hardest kind Of work. I. j. HOLT.
Montgomery, Ala. June3, 1885.
swtfes Specific is entirely vegetable. Treatise on
Blood an d Skin Diseases mailed free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co.. Drawer 3. Atlanta, Ga.
or ISL w. sd St, \, Y
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
Thought is the poetry of those only
who can entertain 1t.

SICK Headache. Thousands who have suffered
Intensely with SICK headache say that Hoods Slr-
saparllla has completely cured them. one gentle
man thus relieved, writes: Hoods Sarsaparila
is worth its weight in gold" Sold by all drug
1C0 doses 81.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

l. BY means Of an ingenious machine,
fyood intended for paper pulp IS shaved
If 50 finely that it is ready to 60 at
nce into the boiler. The machine
takes a log twelve inches in length,
which it reyolves at a speed Of l,0O0
revolutions per minute, and a sharp
cutter shayes off 4 shaving so thin that
it would take $50 of them to make an
inch, a nicely Of execution which may
he judged Of by the fact that 200 sheets
of ordinary paper are required to make
an inch. As described, the knife OF
| This machine has d sliding motion and
gradually moves forward as the Block
decreases in diameter, and in order that
it shall not become dull, and the fiber
consequently fail to be of uniform
thickness, there is provided a unique
arrangement of whetstOnes constantly
at work on the knife.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

"What "a lovely head ofhair she has?"
was said of a certain young lady not
long ago, and if she would only tell the
world that she used Caroline, the nat
ural Petroleum Hair remover, she would
confer a great favor to all her sex.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

y BRACKET TOWEL RACK. "A
bracket towel rack which is the mven-
tion of a Miss Hall, is arranged with
a movable bar to suspend an embroid-
cred curtain owe the towel bar, the
bracket shelf providing for a vase OF
other object.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

VIM. Black, Abingdon, Iowa, was cured
of cancer of the eye by DIR. Jones Red
Clover Tonic, which cures all blood disor
ders and diseases of the stomach, liver and
kidneys. The best tonic and appetizer
known. 80 cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

81 SHALL fight 1t out ON this lyin' if
it takes all summer" remarked the poll
itical stump speaker as he sent to head
quarters for more ''doctored facts"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

AFINdER BOwL.-Individual finger
bowls are no longer fashionable. A
large bowel containing scented water
and beautiled by a"hoating pond-lily is
passed by the servant, and serves to abb
lutte the inger-tips OF the guests.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Ibid you write up this local for
Shocks, the grocer?" asked the city ed
itor of a contemporary of his assist
ant.
eyes, sir"
well do you consider it just the
thing to announce that his eggs can't
be beat; his cheese goes off of its own
accord, and his butter occupies a strong
place in the regards of the public?'
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

FOR DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression or splr-
It's ana general debility IN their various forms; also
as a preventive against fever and ague and other
nterlnittent levers, the "FeTTo-PhOsphoratel-
Elixir of Calisaya"made by Caswel, Hazard & Co.,
New York, and sold by all Druggists, IS the best
other sickness, Il has no equal
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

= y \ \ Premature, decline Of manly
powers, nervous debility and kindred dis
eases, radically cured. Consultation free.
Book 10 cents in stamps. Address, conf
dentially, Worlds D~ispensary Medical AS
ISOLATION, Buffalo, n. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

A vigorous and healthy growth of hair is
maintained by using HALLS Hair Remover.
Tie value of Ayers Cherry Pectoral, IN
colds and coughs. cannot be overestimated.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

In point of medicinal power and ex-
cellence Hop PlasterS are far ahead of
all others. pc.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

THE clerk of a Southern hotel seut q
bell boy up to a guests room to see II
his room mate was in. When the boy
returned the clerk asked the result OF
his visit.
There amt a livin' thing In the
room" replied the boy.
Are you sure?', inquired the clerk.
"Yes, sir" A.,
"You didn't look in the bed around
the edges of the mattress, did your"
asked the guest.
"No, sir"
II thought so," he said, sadly, and
went away gently scratching himself.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

All Fits stopped free. Treatise and s1tril
bottle OF DR., Kline's Great Nerve Reit9rer Tree .
M cases Sendto DR.. Kline, 93I Arch St, Phla Pa.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

All plasters are not alike. Hop
PlaSterS afford relief and cure when
other kinds are worthless.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

They are trying ia Germany 10 find a sub
stiiute for India rubber. No one who has
used DR.. Bigelow's Positive Cure desires
a substitute, as iii e~minently successful in
coughs, colds and all throat and lung dis
eases.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

A woman would sooner rule a heart
than I'll it !; not so with a man.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

He who foresees calamitles suffers
them twice over.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

DUMLEY was telling how narrowly
he escaped from being run over by a
railroad disaster. "Why,' he went on,
sit fairly took my breath away"
'Did you say the train had two en-
gines23 asked young Featherly, very
much interested.
"Certainly not; l said nothing about
two engines"
"Well," responded young Featherly,
81 don't see how a train with only one
engine could take your breath away
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
CURED.

A fool always finds one still more
foolish to admire him.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Vows made in storms are forgOttel
IN Gains.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

The trial is not fair where affection
is judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Slight small injuries, and they'll be-
come none at all.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Never relate your misfortunes to an
other.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

The young will sow their wild oats
but prevent it, if possible.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

To a man full of questions make no
answer.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

No man should be a judge in his own
cause.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Relief is immediate, and a cure sure.
Piso's Remedy for CataTrh. 90 cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
ELY'S
Cream Balm

We hare neUer han.
died a catarrh rene
dythat has increased
so rapidly in sales a
Eig's Cream Balm
or that has gircr
such u~niuersal sat.
iqaction. C.. N.
CriHenton, 115 Ful.
ton ST., Ne,o TorI
City.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

a candidate is never tickled when
the voters scratch him.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
The Secret of Ligin:.

Fortunes favorite, like cats, light
on their legs.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

When Mr.. w. w. Graham, the Eng
fish mountaineer, was in the Hlmalaya
region he noticed two peaks north OF
Mount Everest, nov regarded as the
highest mountain on the globe, which
appeared to him to be still loftier than
that summit. More recently, two
members of the Survey Department OF
the Government of India, observed four
Of five peaks in the same district which
they think may possibly be as high or
higher than Mount Everest. Lord
Aberdare, however, the retiring Presi-
dent OF the Royal Geographical Society
of London, is of the opinion that the
supremacy Of Mount Everest (20,OO3
feet) will not be elfectually disputed
Gnt1 the frontier ranges Of Nepaui and
Ehibet are thrown open to scientific
txaminal on by competent surveyors.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
a FACT

!, William Cotter Wilson, cannot make hair grow
on a door mat, nor flesh grow on a wooden leg,
but where the eye is not broken up nor disinte-
grated, such can always be restored, even though
your oculists and doctors say say you are incura-
bic; therefore, If you suffer, serves You right.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Hates the. food, regulates the stomach and bow-
els, giving healthy and natural sleep.
vinegar Filters is the great disease pro
yenter, and stands at the head of all family rem
edIas, No house should ever be without 1t.
vinegar Bitters cures Malarial, Bilious and
other feyers, diseases of the Heart, Liver and
Kidneys, and a hundred other painful disorders.
Send for either Of our valuable reference
books for ladies', for farmers, for merchants, our
Medical Treatise on Diseases, or our Catechism
on Intemperance and Tobacco, which last should
be IN the hands of every child and youth In the
country.
ANY two OF the above books mailed free on
receipt OF four cents for registration fees.
RE. McDonaldsDruG Co., $50 Washington St. N. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13

Anytbfng which may tend to prevent
those distressing collisions which TOO
often take place between ships at sea
cannot fail to be of Importance. MI.
w. Balch has patented a portable
rocket-fring apparatus which can be
held in the hand, loaded with a rocket
Or shell at a breech in the tube, md dls-
charged by a blow from the othet
hand. The shell when at its helght
bursts, producing a group Of red ana
green stars, as the case may be, direct
ing the on-coming vessel which way 10
steer her course. These rockets may
also be made to give loud and dlStiRc-
tive reports and can be utilized iGi
other purposes in connection WIN
shipping.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
ytueoor On

vinegar HlSsersg apur
.gative and tonic. purifes the
blood, strengthens the liver
and kidneys, and will restore
health, however lost.
Vinegar Bitters Is the
best remedy discovered for
promoting digestion, curing
headache and increasing the
vital powers.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
Pnrifcs The Blood

Sold by all druggists. 81; SIX for $. Prepared
by c. l. HOOD 4 CO., Apotnecaries, Lowell, Mass
100 Doses One Dollar.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-03-13
Hoods

Sold by all druggists. 81; six for s.. Prepared
by c. HooD& CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-03-27
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
soLILoQuY OF A LITTLE GIRL.


The wind blew cool and soft and sweet
The brier vines held back my feet
There on the mountain side | knelt
The little stone leaned back to me,
And "Mindwell Adams, aged Three"
The dim and messy letters spelt.
Though now the graves lie thick around,
This was the first in all the ground.
'In Seventeen E ghty.seyen she died.
So said the crooked little stone
know the mamma must have cried
To leave her baby here alone.
But now there is no need of tears,
They've been in Heaven so many years.
The mother and the baby, too;
And here the fairy blue-bell grows
And all about the pink wild-rose
Is blossoming the summer through.
My papa says that years ago
The little girls had names TO show
What ornaments became them best, =,
As prudence" CHARITY and "Grace;"
But "Mind.well" had the highest place,
For that included all the rest
But then that aggravating Fred
Need not have looked at me aud said:
"How singular ii should be so!
That while the precious Mind-wells' die,
The dreadful 'Wont-mnnds' live and
r.. grow" tItl H
For Fred is twice as tall as l.
He meant the accident, guess,
That happened to his printing-press,
Because tried to make it go;
It's very strange my brother should
Expect me to be always good
1t is so dangerous, you know. o..
% 70. -JeRaie Cotton, IN NJ Y. Tribune.