Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-12-04
MINING JOURNAL.
sATURDA MORNING. DEC. 4, 1886
IIUMOR.


A COUNTER march, shopwalkert
beat
THE original land league - thre.
miles.
BURNISo out the oil makes the lamr
lighter.
You don't know DIR. Al Why, il,
was he who just passed Us" "What
that man? He looks like corpse. )"
We'll, yes. always take him for one
of his patients. "-French F,t,i.
Judge Hare you anything to say
before the court passes sentence upon
you" Prisoner-"Well, all l got tc
say is, l hope yer honor1l consider the
extreme youth of my lawyer. an let me
off easy. "--Puck.
Will you walk into my parlor?'
said the spider to the fly. That spide,
must have been n big fool to want a fy
in his parlor, and bigger fool to sup
pose that the fly wouldn't come without
an invitation.-Bosto11 transcript.
"Do you know that Nigster is SC
weak that he can't stand alone ?" asked
the Judge mercy, mop replied the
Major. What Is the matter with him ?"
why, l asked him if he could stand
loan of So, and he said he couldn't.
Iid-Bits.
LILY Ito her goyerness)-"Yous saw.
Mademoiselle, that when I 20 to heay.
en- ! shall be perfectly happy?' "Yes,
darling; the good Father will grant
you everything you ask of Him"
Then l shall certainly ask Him not to
give me any more governesses." -The
Judge.
10 THE witness lin Criminal Court
Did YOU see the accused fire his re.
yolver?" "Ies; l saw him shoot" "How
far were you from him 2" when he
fired the first time 1 was about ten feet
away" And when he fired the second
timer" The second time-well, about
hundred yards. We Figaro.
my DEAR" said an editors wife to
her husband, here is paper with a
department headed 'Womap's Talk,
Why don't you have such department
IN your paper?' Il would gladly make
such department, my love-" answered
the editor, but my paper is not large,
and l must have little space in which
to give the news. "-Boston Co,s7ier.
MACBETH SIMMONS is never so happv
rs when he has got lawsuit on hand
he Is everlastinsly suing somebody or
beng sued. Not long since he met his
lawyer, who said: 1--WE got bad news.
The Court OF Appeals has decided
against us. We have lost the case"
Never mind losing that case. I've got
Two new ones since saw you last. .
Ieras SUtings.
AN exchange says: "Drop dime into
Jay Gould's hat every time the clock
ticks, and you will have some idea OF
his income" This may be very in
teiesting mathematical problem, but
the great obstacle to It's successful
demonstration lies i'll the fact that our
dimes would become exhausted before
Mr.. Gould's hat was half-full. And
this would also give an idea of our in
come.-NO1TiStOrD Herald.
AT a dinner party last winter the
cool weather had done considerable
duty in supplying conversation, when
apiump, happy-looking married young
lady made remark about cold feet.
Surely, said u lady opposite, Mrs.
-. you are not troubled with cold
feet?" Amid an awful pause she naiveiy
answered: "Yes, indeed, | am very
much troubled; but, then, they are not
my own" Her husband blushed scar
let.
A SCHILLEREsQUE BALLAD.
lover placed golden ring
Upon his lady S hand
dearest no vowed, "my love for thee
Endless till time doth end shall bel
'Jis like this golden band"
Time fed. The lover fathless proved
Nc more fond words lie spoke.
Another pressed his lady's hand
He squeezed too tight one evening and
The golden circlet brokei
'Ha. ha'' the maiden cried in scorn,
The ring is like his loyo!
Tho end has come and he has gone,
But never mind, the thing Ill pawn,
Twill ray for one new glove
But lack-a day. her fair intent
1t mover came to pass.
Lend laughed old Isnacs when she came
"Wha-at, soef five tollar for that same ?"
TIE ring tC1s giiReG 6raSSi
--Sayl,ercile Journal.
MOVEMENTS Of California Pioneers"
says one of the dailies. Yes, they are
moving - moving to the graveyard,
moving from the ranks to lay their old
bones in the sandhills before the Gre
matories get good start, It is not
hard to move a ponce, even when he
Is seated at the barroom stove and is
deep in description of how gold was
struck on Murderer's Bar in the spring
of go. 1t is. not necessary to swing q
club over him to move him, or to ey-
plode bomb under his chair. Sol,
Swiggletop, what is yours?" will bring