Richmond democrat., 1886-11-18

I'm agent for the celebrated Big
liars Double Mammoth Uncle Toms
Cabin Company, with Miss Lucrftia
CORDOBA as the star; finest in the land.
Showed at Lexington last night 20
crowded house had to turn people
away. We have the scenery compete
floating ice on which the escape is
made etc. etc. and the most ferocous
bloodhounds ever carried by any COM
pauy, while our two Marks are simply
side splitting and the people 60 Wild
over the two little il - mules etc,
etc.
Nou wait until the thing rams down,
and about the time sou rcruycr yoar
breath aud feel to see if one of your
arms has not dropped OF, the agent
for 'Biglair's Company has laid onyour
desk four complimentarios and 2Sg
lines Of highly hudatOry reprint
notices Of the show. Without giving
ty0n q chance 10 eXpost0iate, he shakes
your hand. begs that you will come
and see the beautiful Miss CORDOBA, the
rdyenous bloJdhounds, the funny
Marks aud mules, aud away he goes.
You sit down, and am afraid you
swear If there ever was a time that
swearing is iustiliable that time has
come. You will not insert those To-
Gals. But all the same the paper comes
ont and We read of the rare treat In
store for the citizens Of POdunkville.
and editorial assurance is given that
1t is seldom, indeed, that such large
organization leaves the larger cities to
visit small towns like --dunkyille.'
Ia conclusion the editor begs that the
city will turn out en- mdssc and 90 and
see the beautiful Miss Cordozi, whose
wardrobe cost over one thousand dol
lars, Wmdrobes are very high very!
Sich is life.
Now for the sequel!
You are not through with t'ncle
Tom galaxy of stars Nou go to see
them twinkle; pass over the perform
ance. When the last glimpse of little
Eva in her red-light heaven is cut of
by the falling curtain, you turn to go
out. Indignant faces meet your gaze
and some fellow blurts out:
is this what your DEMOCRAT calls
a gilt-edged entertainment, such as
rarely visits country townsy
More cruel things are said ere you
can escape. Sadly you wend your way
home, and you are as chuck full of |
good resolves as a candidate is of |
good promises. And you carry out
your good resolves just as the candi- |
date carries out his promises.
TIE CIRCUS.
OF late years the advance agents
of the circus companies are eX-iour-
nalists, and the policy Of getting big
puffs for very little money has been
abandoned, and more liberal policy
inaugurated.
The press agent of the circus of to-
day ia the editor's friend, s,.vo where
the agent fluids an editGr who does not
know enough to set good price on
his work and stick to it. | have found
many whole-souled men in the advance
Of the circus, willing to pay well for
work doue, and to such men | bow in |
admiration. ! would have been adj
vance agent for circus my self, only
that could never raise funds to buy !
diamond headlight that seems necessa-
ry to set-Oif the agents necktie.
This paper is growing too lengthy, vet |
ought prescribe a small dose for the
physician who tells the editor that he
cannot iuselt his card in the paper, as
it is unprOlessloual to adycltisc, This
same physician, with others OF the 'old
scnuol,' never fails to let the editor
know that DR.. Blank assisted by Drs.
Cuuem aud Slash'cm, amputatel a Tin
ger for Henry Smith. And the editor
like fool euldrges ON the simple oper,
alton until his readers naturally infer
thar, but for the skill OF these wonder
ful doctors smith would have died:
and when hc comes to pay h S bill hu
wishes he had died.
To follow uut my subject thorough
ly, would carry me through the ranks
OF all classes who pdtrUnlZe newspa-
peIs; and this have not time tO write
nor have you time to listen, Too
many subscribyrs tOa country news
paper consider their subscription re-
ceipt sort OF Il mortgage on the edi-
lor and his paper, aud want their III.
terest paid i'll Tree puIfS.
Thus it is, that the free pun system
gets control Of tne office, aud it is one
Of the CAUSES of tlIre being 50 many
poor editors, aud ! mean pOCr in puIss
aud poor IN brains, and pJor IN indie.
pendence OF character,
9
No more big pulls for little tickets,
is my motto, and shall stick to 1t as
long as continue in the 1eld Of jour
nalism.
Just now am having little circus
up my way for exercising the right to
run my paper IN AN independent mau-
ner, the right Of mental freedom. We
eau never have free, auu.puliling
press until the editors of country pa
pers will act honestly with themselves
/. and exercise mental liberty. III you
Ia. vr .. t..gap.rf 600, ,,t, %, 4