davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
strange ProfessIOns.

Among the curiosities of the
Indian census are the extraordinary
professions which some Of Her
Majesty's subjects declare they pur-
sue. In Allahabad no fewer than
974 at a former census described
themselves as Glow blackguards,"
calling which, however, is only too
common elsewhere than In Allahabad,
but the professional "painters of
horses with spots" and the hereditary
clerks who pray to their Inkhorns
are surely peculiar to India.
In Russia, however, the progress
of civilization has developed a new
profession which it would be difficult
to match even in India. The st.
Petersburg insurance companies have
just captured one of three members of
this profession who have carried on
this lucrative vocation for several
years. They were in the habit of
arranging for confagrations with the
owners of insured premises. On being
granted 20 per cent. of the Insurance
money they set fire to the houses,
which be- bpiit of wood,
- Agh.
lgdt have been earning
5szszfzv per cent. to-day but for the
astuteness of the Libau police, who
set trap for them into which they
fell, much to the delight of the insur-
ance companies. 1t ispossibleenough
thatmembers of this scandalous pro-
fession are not unknown in other
countries except Russia.
Frauds against insurance companies
are difficult to detect even when the
insured fires his own property; but
when the work is done by profess
sional fire-raiser detection becomes
almost impossible.-[Pall Mall Ga
Zette. ~.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12

A new star in the armament, Red Star
Cough Cure. 1t banishes coughs and
throat troubles, contains no morphia
or opium and is safe and sure. Price
twenty five cents.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12

Hoods Sarsaparilla, acting through
the blood, reaches every part of the
system and in this way positively cures
catarrh.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
SCOTS EMULSION OF PURE

Cod Liver Oil. with Hypophosphites.
In Scrofslous and Consumptive Gases.
DR.. G. G. Lockwood, New York says:
"I have frequently prescribed Scott's
Emulsion and regard it as valuable
preparation in scrofulous and consump-
tive cases, palatable and efficacious..
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Handkerchiefs.

Handkerchiefs in abundance. All
kinds. Linen Handkerchiefs, Silk
Handkerchiefs, Pongee Handkerchiefs
Embroidered Handkerchiefs, Hand
kercbiefs with Printed Borders, Muf-
fiers, Etc, Etc.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Linens.

If you want Table Linens, Napkins
and Towels, we have them. Come and
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Boots and Shoes.

Our stock Of Boots and Shoes in
Ladies' Mems and Children's is COM
plete. You can get just what you
need. We call special attention to our
Wedge Heel Shoe" in Ladies and
Misses. They are made of the very
best stock, very easy to the feet.
and every pair is guaranteed. Try
them and you will buy no other kind.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Rubber Goods.

Ofall kinds, Stock Full. Electrif-
ed and Transparent Ladies Gossa-
mers. Beautiful and Good.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Groceries.

All Kinds of Groceries. Also,
Raisins, Currants, Prunes, ETC., Etc.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Gloves.

Ladies and Gents Kid Gloves,
Scotch Wool Gloves, Castor Gloves,
Cashmere Gloves, Buckskin Gloves
and Fur Gloves Desirable and Cheap.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Hats and Caps.

This is Headquarters for Hats of
the Latest Style; also, Fur Caps for
Ladies, Men and Children.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Carpets.

Ifyou want a Carpet we can sell
you. IF you wish to see, we can show
you more than one hundred different
designs. We have great many kinds,
and great many prices, and sell a
great many Carpets. Prices 25c. per
yard, up.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12

= = Thus taught Robertson,
who died more than thirty years ago,
and but yesterday I read this 10 re-
cent sermon BY clergyman Of an en-
tireIy different church: The words,
am the Lord that healeth thee and
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Neckwear.

A full line of Ladies' and Gents
Neckwear. The Newest and Best in
the Market. Prices Low.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Dress Goods.

A large stock of Dress Goods, out of
which you can get just what you want
and at much. less price than you
ever bought them before.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
sOoaks.

The Best Fitting and Best Made.
Our sales have been large, but our as
sortment of both Ladies' and Children's
Goats is yet good.
Middletown transcript., 1886-02-12
Clothing.

Heaps and Piles of Clothing. Good
Clothing. Warm Clothing. Big
Clothing. Little Clothing. Cloth
ing you will buy if you see it.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

The next step beyond Jones and Small in
the evolution Of revivalists Is "Lampasas
Jake" who is said to be waking up the COW
boys Of New Mexico, and who really lacks
the culture which the other men soorn to
use, and lacks education as WELL beyond the
ability TO read. As described by q cores
pondent, he picked up something OF the Bi-
ble alone on a cattle ranch, his conversion
was a matter of dreams couohed in the most
vivid but rudest imagery, and his addresses
are in the vernacular Of the boy OF hc-
tion, and are, to any grade Of intelligence or
standard OF morals above that currently at
tributed to the COW boy, too shOckingly ir-
reverent for reproduction lIa is said to 90
heavily armed into border saloons and drive
the occupants down on their knees while he
exhorts Whether "Lampasas Jake" IL the
Development o. the prairies or of the i'm
egination OF some brilliant but reckless bobe-
mian, he il the natural outcome of the latest
tendency in religious exhortation. The sort
Of eloquence attributed to him is not new
The plantations Of the South used to be full
of Just such preachers, useful doubtless to
the people they addressed and from whom
they sprung. But in their case no one thought
OF helping the cause Of religion by removing
them from their natural environments, and
il "Lampasas Jake" be no u myth, il is to be
hoped that he will be loft with public to
whom his earnestness is not irreveTence -
Springfield RepuJ Lcdn.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
George VVashIngton's Court.hIp.

Near the end of May, 1853, Washington
was ordered by the QuartermRster-Genera of
the British forces to leave Winchester and
make all haste to Williamsburg, there TO ex-
plain to the Governor and council in what a
desperate condition the Virginia troops were
as regarded clothing and equipments. Ac-
cordingly he set out on horseback, accom-
panied by his servant Billy Bishop.
The two men had reached Williams Ferry,
on the Pamunkey river, and had crossed on
the boat, when they met Mr.. Chamberlayne,
Virginia gentleman, living in the neighbOr-
hood. The hosptable planter insisted that
Washington should at once go to his house.
1t was forenoon, and dinner would be served
as usual early and after that Colonel Wash
ington could go forward to Williamsburg, if
go he must. Besides all that there was a
charming young widow at his house-Colon-
el Washington must have known her, the
daughter of John cambridge, and the wife of
John Parke Custis. Virginia hospitality was
hard to resist. Washington would stay to
dinner if his host would let him hurry off
Immediately afterward.
Bishop was hidden to bring his master !
horse around after dinner in good season, and
Washington surrendered himself to his host.
Dinner followed. aud the afternoon went by,
and Mr.. Chamberlayne was in excellent hu-
NOR, as he kept one eye on the restless horses
at the door, and the other on his guests, the
tall, Iudan like officer and the graceful, haz-
el-eyed animated young widow. Sunset
came, and still Washington fingered. Then
Mr.. Chamberlayne stoutly declared that no
guest was ever permitted to leave his house
after sunset Mrs. Martha Gusts was not
the one to drive the soldier away, and so
Bishop was hidden to take the horses back
| to the stable. Not till the next morning did
the young colonel take his leave. Then he
dispatched his business promptly at Williams
burg, and whenever he could get an hour
dashed over to the White House, where Mrs.
Custis lived So prompt was hs about this
business also, that when he returned to Win
chester he had the promise of the young wild
ow that sue would marry him as soon as the
campaign was over.-HOrGce Il. Scudder, in
| ADri So Nicholas
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
A Zinc sermon .nma.bed.r =

In the Sunday Magazine the following iu-
cident is given, which is illustrative OF the
modern practice of spiritualizing texts of
Scripture and giving them a meaning foreign
to that Intended by the inspired writer;
A young preacher graduate of one of the
theological schools of the country, preached
a very nice discourse from the words, "Then,
fearing lest they should fall upon rocks, they
cast four anchors out of the stern and wished
for the day" (Acts 1G29). Said the young
preacher The ship represents the church.
The four anchors are faith, hope, love and
prayer Christians are the crew. The sea
represents the great ocean of life The storm
that prevailed is the trials incident to us here,
and the Island of Melita where all escaped
safe to land, means heaven" He dwelt with
becoming fervency on the importance of cast
ing out the anchors Of faith, hope, love and
prayer the necessity of abiding in the ship
in order to be saved and the consolation to
be found in the fact that not hair of their
heads should be hurt but that they (the men,
| bers of the church, should all reach shore in
safety. The speaker concluded by asking an
| aged preacher, whom he had invited into the
pulpit out of respect to his gray hairs, to
close the meeting with few remarks
The old brother arose, and, placing his
hand on the young theologian's head, as if
| giving him chronological examination, pro-
ceeueu, III uls pam, uneuuchteu style, SUI
stantially as follows: my young brother,
you have preached us mighty purity discourse
to day, but I'm afesrd you've made some aw-
full big mistakes. You said that the ship
meant the church il that's so, we haven't
got any church now, for the ship was all
smashed to pieces and destroyed. You also
| said that the four anchors were faith, hope,
love and prayer; if that's 30, we haven't got
any faith, hope, love and prayer in the church,
as they have been cast out. And you say
that Christians are the crew; If that's so,
they are a mighty bloodthirsty set, for they
wanted to kill Paul. You tell us that the
Island of Melts means heaven well, il that
is true, heaven must be mighty snaky place,
as a snake bit Paul as soon as he landed"
II is stated as a historical fact that that
young preacher was never known to preach
that discourse again in all that region Of
| countrv
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

Warner Brothers, OF Bridgeport, Conn,
who are corset manufacturers, employing
about 1000 girls have inaugurated an exper-
iment in connection with their business, the
progress Of which will be looked for with
great interest This is the establishment Of
a great home in which such of their employees
as have no home OF their own in Bridgeport
will be provided with all the comforts Of
home life at cost within their means.
Everything but food will be furnished At
cost or less, and at a refectory in the build
ing inmates can spend AS much or as little
as they please for their meals without paying
any one profit. Opportunities for self.cul-
ture will be amply provided library, read
ing rooms, musical and literary entertain
ments OF various kinds being included In the
plans of the enterprise. There will also be
a savings bank connected with the institu-
ton, and other devices for encouraging the
girls to save their earnings, cultivate their
minds. preserve their health and morals. Iu
explaining their project the Warner Brothers
say that all sorts OF homes have been provid
ed for invalid, needy aud fallen women, but
the honest working-grls who are capable Of
earning living aud who do not need to be
rescued but helped, have been left to strug.
gle for themselves under the burdens aud
temptations Of life.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
The Author Of "UncIe Remus" Files a
Flag Of Truce.

!
Flag Of Truce.
As this paper is TO be part Of an expert
enoe meeting, may as we'll begin II by re-
latng how have been pursued by scien-
tifc lunaiic who formerly hailed from Flori-
! da. In 1870 while associate editor OF the
Savannah Morning News, was introduced by
a prominent gentleman Of that city 20 a
preacher from Florida do no not know to
| what religious denomination this preacher be-
longed, but be appeared, at FIRST sight, TO be
a very serious person, full OF grace and fer
vor He was a fluent talker and after had
known him day or two he impaired to me
certain information which he declared was of
the utmost importance to the country and to
myself. He said he had discovered that the
EARTH instead Of being round, was shaped
like an egg, aud that, instead Of revolving
around the sun, it was itself the centre around
which the sun revolved that the seasons,
the periods Of heat aud cold, were the results
OF the endosmose and txosmose processes
and 30 on and 80 forth. My friend proved to
| be great bore. lie not only had bis theory,
but be had composed poem to describe and
substantiate it,-a tremendous poem AZ to
length-and this he left with me, stating that
| he expected me to be the medium or the
means Of bringing his extraordinary theory
aud his remarkable poem to the attention of
the public. / was a young man then-young-
er in experience than in yesrs-and spirit
of mischief, almost inconceivsble in its stu
pidity, led me to write a satirical paragraph
or two about this preacher theory. He sent
for the manuscript OF his remarkable poem,
aud made his way northward probably TO
Chicago, and has busted himself with my bi-
| ography from that day to this. There is
moth ng malicious in his inventions, and have
no doubt they are worth something in the
shape of advertisements, but their wild i'm
| probability has given them place in the cur
| rent newspaper literature of the day.
For instance, few readers of this magazine
have failed to see the announcement in the
daily papers that "the author of 'Uucle Re
mus ia a native of Africa, having been born
at Joel, on the northeast coast, of mission
sry parents This is only one of many in-
ventions which have been put forth by my
Florida friend. He never fails to send me
marked copy of the paper in which his in
ventions first appear, attaching his initials as
| IL to remind me Of the penalty OF sstirizing
his poem. But as l have said he is not ma
licious He merely insists that l was born
| in Africa, and that my hair is snowy white az
the result Of strangely romantic career.
| He is determined that shall figure as myth.
l desire to say here that have reconsidered
my youthful views in regard to his poem
moreover, l am willing to give his theory of
the exosmose and endosmose process COM
| plete. if not a cordial, enforcement When
ones dearest enemy has access to the col
umns Of a Chicago newspaper it is time to
suggest a truce 1 gladly hoist the white
flag. joel Chandler Harris in LippineofS
| Magazine for april
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
Miscellany.
Lenten Thoughts.

The Christmas songs have died away,
The birthday bells are dumb,
And we with hushed and cOntrite hearts
To lenten service come.
Tue little Child Of Bethlehem
The loving Magi sought
IL now the weary, lonely man
Whose own receive Him not.
A Kingi yet palaces are barred,
A SaviOurl yet is sputned;
Redeemer, Friendi yet naughty hearts
Away from Him are turned.
He walks the earth In humble guise,
No crown is His 10 wear;
The meek and lOwly are His friends,
And suffering ones His care.
In thought we follow where He leads,
BY desert, hill aud sea;
We see Him IN the city's streets,
And paths Of Galliee.
Wen follow soon his patient feet
The way to calvary's height,
Aud feel again the shadow cast
By earthe most awesOme night.
o Christi whose birth we celebrate,
Whose death melts us to tears,
Whose burial we see with grief
Whose Easter calms our fears,-
We know not where we love Thee mOsti
by cradle, cross or grave;
But only know we love Thee well,-
o, Mighty One TO sayel
Lillian GREY in GOOD Housekeeping
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

Rutland's two Chinese laundrymen have
Joined the Sunday school of the Congrega-
tional church. The Chinese in California
and Oregon ought TO have thought of it early
and put themselves under the protecting
wings OF the Christian churches in tho o
heather lands Woodstock Standard.
New York physician reports the birth of
a child, we'll formed in other respects, but
with no brain. Unfortunately the child lived
only one day. Mr.. Morrison had hoped to
see him reared and sent TO Congress on the
tariff issue. Boston Record.
A country minister, who, in addition to his
clerical duties, followed the profession OF a
photographer was called upon to perform a
marriage ceremony. Now, then, young
man, lie said to the groom, who was nervous
and excited, as all groOms ought to be, Just
keep your eye on that crack in the wall, and
try to look pleasant. -Hdrper's Bdsar,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

Sleep, baby, sleepl
Thy father watches the sheep,
Thy mother is shaking the dreamland tree,
Aud down falls a little dream on thee.
Sleep, baby, sleepl
Sleep, baby, sleepl
The large stars are the sheep,
The little stars are the lambs, guess,
The fair moon is the shepherdess.
Sleep, baby, sleepl
Sleep, baby, sleepl
Our Saviour loves the sheep;
He Is the lamb of God on high,
Who for our sakes came down 20 die.
Sleep, baby, sleep!
Sleep, baby, sleepl
Il buy for thee sheep
With golden bell so fair 10 see,
Aud 1t shall frisk aud play With thee.
Sleep, baby, sleep!
Sleep, baby sleepi
Aud cry not like sheep;
Else will the sheep-dog bark and whine,
And bite this naughty child of mine.
Sleep, baby, seepl
Sleep, baby, sleepl
Away, and tend the sheepi
Away, then, black dog, fierce aud wild,
Aud do not wake my little child.
Sleep, baby, sleepl
Old Song from the German
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

machinery Of the Knights OF Labor is made
quate TO meet the large accessions to it's ranks,
and that in It's present chaotic state this seri-
ously crippes it's usefulness. The Knights
Of Industry will be a secret order ouly in so
far az secresy may be necessary for the intel
ligent and safe direction OF its power 1t is
understood that a congress OF labor leaders
will be held at Boston in September TO dis
ouss the question.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

In the April number of LippinoOtts Maya
zine a novel series of articles is begun under
the general heading of "Our Experience
Meetings" in which a sort of public oonfes
sional will be provided for leading authors,
actors, artists, politicians, business men, etc
who feel autobographically disposed. The
present meeting ia attended by Julian Haw-
thorne, Edgar Fawcett and Joel Chandler
Harris, each OF whom gives an interesting
sketch Of his literary career, az seen from the
inside. An extract from Mr., Harris's paper
i given in this issue.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
A aecnre Hetreni.

Country Eiitor-Well, they captured the
murderer at last.
Citizen-So hear. Where did they find
him?
Country Editor-Just leaving the back
door of old Buerags dry good store. He and
and Buersg are relatives. He has been taking
it easy there for three weeks
Citzen-I wonder nobody saw him.
Country Editor-No danger of that. Bue-
rag never adVertises, you know.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

Farmers, mechanics and working
men arc very apt to be governed more by
the price than other more important points
in selecting their clothing. 1t is a mistake
usually. A poor suit of clothes is expen-
sive at any price. The best is always tho
cheapest, though not necessarily the high
est priced. The "T, g. ~ Co." cloth
ing is made for service. 1t fits perfectly,
is custom finished, and costs no moro than
the "baggy" stuff offered.
The above represents the ticket that will
be found on all the I" n, q. ~ Co."
Clothing. Buy it for yourself and boys,
and You will make no mistaka
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
The Charcoal burner

still old man with grizzled beard,
Gray eye, bent shape, and smoke-tanned features,
His quiet fOotstep Ia not feared
BY shyest woodland creatures.
He knows the moods Of forest things,
He holds in his own speechess fashion,
For helpless forms OF fur aud wings
A mild paternal passion.
within his horny hand he holds
The warm brood OF the ruddy squirrel;
Their bushy mother storms aud scOlds,
But knows no sense Of peril.
The dormouse shares his erumb OF cheese;
His homewArd trudge the rabbits follows
He hnds, In angles Of the trees,
The cup-nest Of the swallow.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

A New Organization for WOrkIngmsn. n.
Boston workingmen are talking about form
ing a new labor organization to be known az
the Knights of Industry. The new organi-
zatiou il designed as an auxiliary TO the
Knights of Labor and is said to be approved
by that order. It's promoters assert that the
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02

took pains TO have customers report the eject Of
Athlophoros on rheumatism aud neuralgia. The hrst
three said It was marvellous, and through their kind
words for II have sold number Of bottleh,-C. ID.
Hunter, druggist, Marlboro, Macs.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1886-04-02
Prof. Hor.ford's Raking Powder.

Miss parloa, Of the famous Boston cooking sehoo
says; ~ have used HoIsford's Baking Preparatio
with perfect success for bread, biscuit aud cake
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-10-18
COUSIN BEN IN LUCK.

However rigid his views may be on the
subject of recruiting the vast army of office
holders from among his own relations,
President CLEVELAND evidently holds to
the ARTEMUs WARD idea regarding the re-
lations of ones wife. His appointment of
Cousin BEN Folsom as consul to Sheffield
must of course be accredited to that source.
BENJAAIIN'S brilliant conversational pow
ers. his ability as an adept European cice-
rome or the effulgence which shone around
him when the suns rays fell upon his cart
wheel scarf pin, might have remained as
impressive as ever. yet they would not have
sufficiently recommended him for the
profitable place which he has borne away
as a reward of merit from the midst of
horde of applicants had it not been
for his good fortune in being born
to be the cousin by marriage of
president who welded late in life
and who naturally inclines favoring ear
to the prettily inexperienced suggestions of
his youthful better half. Cousin BEN
should thank his lucky stars that he made
such a good record for himself while con-
Quoting his fair cousin on her ante nuptial
tour and he can also congratulate himself
both upon his freedom from the necessity
of undergoing civil service examination
and upon enjoying the unique distinction of
being the first person to be appointed to
office virtually by the wife of the president.