The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-07-14
ltUMOR OF THE NEGRO.
THE PRACTICAL JOKES OF: THE COL.
oRED MAN CT THE SOUTH.

How, When, Where and Why Ho Laughs
"A Prisoners Plea Before the Mayor.
An Old Preachers Wit-Jokes That Are
Thoroughly Enjoyed.
The genuine southern negro Is deficient In
wit, but opulent in humor. The humor
must be of the broadest kind for him I'd
thorougly enjoy it Practical jokes are his
profound delight They are not elusive,
anil are easily understood. Sambo not
only laughs himself, but is source Of
laughter in Others In this he is a public
benefactor. He gills many an hour that
otherwise would be very gloomy His gro
tesque looks when under excitement, his
profounl interest in abstruse questions, and
the curious fatality with which he mixes
information obtained from the higher walks
Of lie make hirn bas relief on the walls OF
time Surely we are blessed beyond our
deserts In return for his freedom and the
inestimable privilege of selling his vote he
makes US laugh He laughs, too. and
laughs best. There may be an element OF
languor in our laughter, but his Is hearty,
rollicking, aud uncontrolled :
AS the originator Of a sonse Of humor III
others, the negro is q success. One of them
gravely regarding the e.;orts OF his en-,
ployer to open burglar proof safe, broke
the silence with "Boss, you done los do com.
position, haint you"
The same negro was the butt OF the little
town he honored with his society. Very
fond Of "red eye," he was continually III
trouble with tho law. 1t was his boast that
he had built all the sidewalk from the hotel
toa certain cross street two blocks away.
| The fines collected from him had been ap-
piled to that purpose Arrested for being
drunk and disorderly, he was bailed, the
trial being put OFF until the next morning.
Some of the young white men Of the place
told him that if lie would plead justi6abie
homicide the mayor would let him of with
out tine or imprisonment On the morning
| of the trial, the court room was crowded.
The mayor venerable old gentleman OF
somewhat iniammatory temperament sat
enthroned in awful dignity. The prisoner
at the bar looked little bit shaky at first,
but seeing so many OF his white friends pre-
sent he regained his confidence and assumed
the attitude Of one who knows his rights,
and knowing dares maintain them Said
the mayor.
"Henry, you are charged with being
drunk and disorderly. What have you got
to say?" 81
"Boss," was the reply. "Ipleads 'stifable
homeyside," and he beamed benignantly on
his honor.
There was an uproarious shout oflaughter,
in which the mayor was forced to join
Henry escaped that time Sent TO the drug
store after some tlncturs Of cantharides, the
nearest he could come to it was, "distink-
shun peradiea" A day OF two afterward
he was after some lob dis we're peculiar
intmentn Mercurial was the word that had
thrown him.
| AS PRACTICAL JOKER.
AS practical joker the negro has no su-
perior, and if the joke is one that Will
cause distress he is so much the more salts.
| fed. At Lake City, some years ago, some
Of them caught a hawk and dipped it in
kerosene oil. Then touching lighted
match to the neck feathers, they tossed the
bird into the air. 1t made a brilliant spec
tacle for q mo nent, and then, with an ag-
ognizing squawk, came to the ground. The
negroes were delighted beyond measure,
and rolled over eacn other in paroxySms Of
laughter.
Sitting or standing around camp fire
along the tracK of one Of the railroads wero
several section hands talking over ditfe ent
good meals they had enjoyed. Sitting cross
legged on a horse was young negro listen
viands. At last one touched upon the coon,
and the others, recognizing superior soul,
| became silent
"Take er nice fat coon," said the sable or
ator, "pa'bile i'm, roas' i'm, sarb i'm up,
wild plenty grady an sweet taters"
Here the negro on the horse could stand it
no longer lie had followed every move
r,ent Of the speaker, his nostrils Tapping
widely as if he would catch the scent Of the
coon his lips working convulsively. Nov
he broke in with, "Hush you mouf, you fool
niggah er I'll fall right o!fan dis boss"
Tho nearest approach to wit on the part
of the negro was that of the oil preacher at
a revival Hearing some incoherent nois,
IN the rear Of the room that disturbed the
pious proceedings, he exclaimed ansrily;
What fool niggah is Dat prayin' down by
de dol"
Came the reply: "It's Bruddcr Johnson"
"Well, let some niggah pray what's better
| 'ouainted will do Lord"
johnson being a notorious chicken thief.
the parson didn't have faith in his prayers
1t was much respected negro preacher
stationed at Possum Trot who astonished his
congregation one bright and beautiful Sum
day by announcing solemnly: MY frens,
dar am TWO ways from dis worP One am
the broad an narrer road dat lead ter hell,
an' de odder am de narrer an broad road
dat lead ter damnation."
There was breathless silence for mo-
mont, and then one badly frightened coon,
whose wool was rapidly unkinking ejacu-
ated: swell, ef dat am de case, dis yere
niggah am gwine-ter take to de woods"
SOURCE OF EXTREME DELIGHT.
To see white man left by the train Is q
source of unfailing delight to the negroes
who hang around the depots At Live Oak
one day q well-dressed stranger jumped from
the train and ran over to the bar-room to
take nibble at the worm that never dieth
The train pulled out just as he was coming
from the saloon. He made dash for the
rear platform of the last coach, missed 1t,
and went down on his knees on the ties. His
flask was broken and his clothes torn. The
train stopped for him few yards away,
aud he limpel on board, followed by ths
derisive yells and laughter of the colored
men 1t is a standing joke among them yet
how "dat white man got hut tryin fer tor
lump on de kyahs" The joke they
thoroughly enjoy must be seasoned with
distress and modification to others
knew of a negro's doing was the offspring
of the genius Of negro gambler, who had
some local reputation as doctor To him
came compatriot suffering from dis
ordered stomach and sick headache.
"Take seidlitz POWDER" said the gambler,
and out of the generosity Of his heart he
handed the sick man one, winking at the
bYstanders as he did 80.