Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-08-19
My Friend, the Major.
A MAN WHOM EVERYBODY
LIKES.
ITO Make Himself Felt" Was The
Scheme Of His Life.

| 10 you KNOW my Irlenu, tne MaJOr /!
He is rare bird. He is an optimist
on principle, and liar because he can u
help it. To know the Major is liber-
al education, ut least SD far as the fine
art of prevarcation is concerned. The
Major first attracted my attention dur
ing the war. He was exempted from
service OH account OF some slight disa-
bility, but as soon as hostilties opened
he announced his intention of joining
the army. He made no secret of his
determination even 10 strangers. When
ever he sawa crowd Of able-bodied young
men lie would introduce himself, con-
gratulate them upon their manifest a.
bilities to serve their country in the
field, and wind up with the statement
that, although cripple himself, he
did not propose to be cheated out Of
his share of the glory, and was then
making his arrangements to go to the
front.
The effect of this kind of talk can be
imagined. In those days everybody
was patriotic or nothing. Many tim
id man was made so ashamed of him
self by the Majors devotion to the Con-
federacy that he precipitately volun-
teered and marched off with a musket
on his shoulder. All through sixty
one and siXty-two this gallant patriot
gave himself up to his work. Finally
it began to dawn upon us that he was
loosing good deal of time, and missed
all the fighting right straight along.
Something of the sort was limited to
him, but he promptly silenced all criti-
cism. lie had been delayed by so many
things he said. First. he had intended
to join Col. Blanks regiment, but the
Colonel was killed ,and that caused him
to change his plans. He had found it
difficult to decide between the infantry,
cavalary and artillery branches of the
service. He had also thought of the
navy, and at that very time was wait
ing to hear from certain admiral, who
was an old friend.
After hearing these voIuble explaDa-
tions, men would wink significantly at
each other, but they kept their suspi.
cions to themselves. 1t was useless to
make war on the Major. He was hand
in glove with the authorities, and the
women were all on his side. The sacri-
flee which he proposed to make i'm GO
ing into the army in spite OF his exemp-
tion stirred the feminine heart, and so
much was said about it that scores of
men less fit for duty than the Major
found themselves unable to stand the
pressure. They rushed off to the army
but the Major still fingered at home.
During the siege of Atlanta, my old
friend made himself very useful, and L
think hurried up matters not little.
He attached himself to flag Of truce
party one day, and although present as
a citizen, he wore an officers coat. He
strolled about, got left by his party ,and
was picked up by the Federals as spy.
He was so defiant, so voluble and so
bright that he was carried before Gen.
Sherman. In the presence of this ter
rible commander the Major did not a.
bate one jot of his natural dignity. He
explained his position satisfactorily,
and in response to the questions put to
him said that Atlanta was defended by
10000 men; that Gen. Wood had 200
big guns unlimited ammunition, ,and all
the supplies he needed. The garrison,
he said, would be reinforced by 10000
militia from the South Atlantic States
inside of ten days. To make him stop
his everlasting jaw, Sherman ordered
him to be escorted to the Confederate
lines,
AS soon as the Major got back to the
city, he was interviewed by everybody
from Gen. Hood down to the newsboys.
To all these searchers after truth the
Major was gracious and communica-
tive. He said that Sherman's force, at
a moderate estimate. amounted to 14U,-
900 men, and $4,000 more were on the
way. He had seen 800 heavy siege guns
placed in position and had learned that
it was the programme to open fire on
the city with all of them in forty. eight
hours. He had also seen a brass band
with instruments costing $40, 900. This
band had just arrived from Washing
tor and had been sent for to furnish
the music when Sherman made his
entry into the city.
Looking back to those days l can
easily see that the Majors fearful yarns
must have driven both Sherman and
Hood nearly crazy. Both generals made
some very eccentric movements soon
afterwards, and my old friend was
doubtless responsible for the whole bus
mess. After losing sight of this am
liable parsonage for nearly score OF
years, ] found him some time ago COM
fortably established in small town.
not hundred miles from here. Time
had dealt gently with him. lie was
rotund and rosy, and his face wore
perpetual smile. l accepted an lnYlta-
tion to ride with him into the country,
and on our trip I learned still more "a
R1x