Daily Republican., 1886-07-23
THE OFFICE sEEKER,s LOT.
Mr.. Dean Secs ssme Influential Oevsti
tuents ana Talks OF Brains.

! mr. Dean Sees Ssme Influential Oesstl
tuents ana Taiks OF Brains,
et Editor "Every Evening"" 1 an III
1 der lasting obligations to you for pul
: hshing my appeal for an Office. The,
Is nothing like hunting q popular jou
T nal when you want to become known
While passing along the street a ma
urivlng team with load of hay (h
must nave been Granger. for he wa
covered with hay seeds said, "Hells
IN going to vote for you." Still
another person acoosted me and said
tt"Mister, hain't you the chan wha
Z wants an Officer" He was answsred All b
, the affirmative. Gall right" said he
you'll git my vote" 4 met an homes
son Of the Emerald isle, who halle,
me with, "Faith, misther, an ism
II yourself that's wantin' an offis?'
st'Yes." "Thin, be iabers. an
It's Neself that's afther wantin
70 vote for nice, dacent mai
Y IS you are; dyes no that there nive
was mothers son 80 terribly hard u,
as meself, an auful dhry am; cult
yes be afther the loaning me dollarq'
me appeal was promptly responded to
when he said: Couldn't yes be afte
neipin me to git me papers, for as sur,
~ stapo fo'nanst ye, yes must know
It's not three months since I left th,
ould conthry." In my rambles han
pened to drop into ladies' aid societ,
meeting, when they all at the tod o
their voices and with one accord, shout
60, Mr.. Dean, we all would vote 10,
you; we have read your letter in the
hvery Evening and endorse it all; only
tne anti-weman's rights men, tyraptf
tnat they are, have refused us to eKer-
else our natural right of voting"
You can see the effects OF liberal ad-
vertising in widely circulated popu-
lar Journal by my successes. After q
hard days work and worry, while rest
ing and taking 1t easy on the sharp ed ge
OF the top rail of the fence, was ap-
preached by q gray haired colored
oiother, hat in hand, with, "Say, boss,
amt you de man wat wants an offis?''
my answer, Eyes. Sambo, can't you
give Fellow little help among your
coiored brethren?" Being badly In
want OF an office it's no use putting on
airs when the influential voter is about:
this looked to be favora ble oppor.
tnnity, one not to be lost Samho SAYS;
"Look yer, boss, rs got lots of power
Iover dese Yer niggerB round yer an can
Drlng EN- ali to vote for yes. But dar' e
one ting certin suar. rs clean gone an
Duseeo CAD yes len me haf dollar?"
Ihe coin was fort booming; no time 10
argue the question under such cirDum-
stances, as his and his friends support
must bo secured.
| NOW It's just possible that from nv
standpoint the political horizon may
appear more bright and transparent
than what others may see 1t; if so shall
not cross that bridge before get to it,
put, from what has already been
learned, l am inclined to think mine
VIII ne one OF the most popular candi.
uacles ever presented to the people of
our state. do hope that none of the
otner gentlemen who In their own way
are presenting themselves to the Ameri.
can voters OF Delaware will be iealous
of this plan of mine OF presenting nv
selr as q candidate. 1t Is neither
patented or copyrighted, and If they
like 1t better than their own methods of
getting before the people they can have
the'benefit of my invention free gratis,
it Is stated In the papers that / am
booked for speech at the Graneers'
picnic at Rehoboth the coming week,
and at that meeting expect to put In
some big lioks for my SUCCESS as a can
dloate before the people, you may stake
your lowest down dollar that when |
am required to blow my own horn it
u Will be filled to Its utmost capacity.
lt Ia my desire that you have reporter
on the ground at Rehobotb; 1t would
be too bad that the people of Delaware
should fail tc know what will be said
upon that occasion. If It once gets into
your paper 1t will be 30 indelibly i'm
pressed npon their minds that it never
viii be forgotten and will go down into
history as one of the great events of the
age.
For fear your reporter shonld not be
present, propose to give you short
outline or what may be expected and to
more fully impress 1t on the minds Of
the Sussex Changers and others who
may be there. l snail be attired In a
homespun linsey.woolsey coat of the
butternut dye, with tow linen trousers. |
hickory striped shirt, cowhide shoes /
and slouched hat, with long flowing
gray haired wig so as to make me look |
ike true granger and q regular Della 1
ware plow boy. When l get up on the
stand, after throwing down my broad
orim, shall with both hands stroke
back my long venerable locks and be
80 overcome with the surroundings that
It will take me sometime to recover my
thoughts and my words bsfore shall
be able to proceed with nay speech.
You will see by this effort that am 90.
Ing In to win and have "sure pop"
Having witnessed the results obtained
oy gray-haired orators on Sussex au.
dience don't 'tpropose to leave an thing
anoone that will produce the desired
result, my getting an Office.
1t Is proposed to tell my audiencel
how much L love the good, honest,
pen hearted, hoepitable citizens OF
sond oio sussex; as place to live 10 1t
Almost breaks my heart to leave them,
after paying them visit. az l am
'lready located, and 1t is diff suit to
move mills and water powers, yet think
! Vefy likely 1 SHALL buy enough ofI I
sussex soil to rest my bones in. If, liz
.fter telling them all this, should they I
lnd me buying thousand or two of q
'cres over the Maryland line, they G
must set 1t down as the result of a bad | Il
memory or a want of brains on my c
'art, rs my former partner claimed le
when he left the firm he took all of 4
hat commodity we had along wishl
'imself, and l am obliged now when
eft alone to get along as best 1 canI
Without the article.
We never should despair In we'll a
oipg. When the era OF 1887 ushers q
erself into bein the subscriber ex poets n
t the same time to fill some one or n
more of Delaware's most lucrative n
tficee. There is one thing that gives a
ne much trouble, and that is why all q
'arttes must go to the soil of st. Georges
hundred to get their candidates, justl
IS II all the crude m Material out of which
are made belonged to the
oil OF that hundred. Is It that thai