Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-07-21
ANIMAL STUDIES.
a clearinghouse Table Talk About
"Thoso Horrid Brutes."

"lnOSO f1Orrlu bruCeSs
':What disgusting quantity of gush
is lavished on animals nowadays" said
the fat boarder.
81 know it!' exclaimed Miss Smith
ers, young lady who never, if she can
help it, permits another getting a word
in edgewise; II know it! And that re-
minds me that the birds that people
rave SO about are positively wanting in
politeness. Could any thing be more
rude than the way they charter away
without regard to each others COM
fort or even stopping moment to hear
each other singr'
Talking about animals" drawled
Slenderlegs, who sat opposite Miss
Smithers, "horses amt the noble ami
mails the books try to make them out
to be. A horse, now, won't work I'M
less you harness him up so he can't get
away from it. He'd rather kick round
in pasture till he's all knocked out than
do the lightest kind of real work for
five minutes" Then Slenderlegs re-
marked that he must go and practice
with the dumb-bells. "a fellow must
do something, you known" he added,
''to keep his muscles from getting fab
by"
The landlady at this moment left off
berating the cook to remark that the
most hateful creature she knew of was
a guinea hen; always a-screeching and
a hollering until it set her almost crazy.
If she had her way, she wouldn't let
guinea hen live another minute; or if
they must live, she'd tie up their bills or
do something to stop their everlasting
clack. ''Mary, for goodness sake, will
you ever bring that pudding imp Deari
did any one ever see such an aggrevat-
ing girl in this world! No wonder my
nerves are all racked into fiddle strings
Mary, say, Mary! Oh, you've come
at last! Why wasn't you all night about
it? You came as soon as you couldP
Don't you tell me! There, you can 90!
Was there ever" and so forth, and
so forth, and so forth.
"And what thing a cat is!' re-
marked Miss Sleek. ''All cat thinks
of is herself. Give her all she wants to
eat and a soft place in the sun to lie in,
and she is as good as pie, but ruffie up
her fur the wrong way, and she'll show
her claws mighty quick" While she
had been talking, Miss Sleek, who sat in
the softest-cushioned chair in the room,
looked as placid as a summer landscape.
But there is a tradition among the
boarders that Miss Sleek has very
sharp tongue, and that Miss Sleek is
possessed of a fine temper of her own,
and that Miss Sleek has very sharp
finger nails, and that Miss Sleek knows
how to use them. But boarders are no
toriously spiteful creatures, and it isn't
best to believe all they say, especially
when they say it of so gentle and pur-
ring lady as Miss Sleek
Then the conversation became gener-
al. The half-grown boy, who plays the
devils tattoo on the table when he is not
whistling yankee Doodle to the tune
of ''Old Hundred or vjce vers0, hated
old Mrs. Hubbard's parrot because 1t
was so noisy; young Dudeworthy could
not abide monkey, because it only
knew enough to take off its hat and
blink; old Mr.. Fogy detested neighbor
Jones dog that was forever snarling
and grunting at nothing; Miss Phooli-
phule never could bear to see pea
cock. it was so foolishly vain, you know;
and Miss Plump, whose figure is built
on the principle of covering as much
ground as possible without regard to
height, said that it fairly set her all in
fdget to see duck walk, it waddled so
abominably.- Transcript.