The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-09-03
The Hilarity Family.

VI tut dhOltnb Acsyildh bdN w
nounced all such expectations.
| -
The Hilarity Family.
A VACATION AT A SUMMER RESORT. THE
ESTIMATED AND ACTUAL COST OF AN
| UNSATISFACTORY TRIP.
Mr.. 4. f. lIilarity, prominent citi-
zen who increased bis cash account
considerably during the past year, con-
cluded to take his family to Summer
resort for brief recreation.
Mrs. Hllaiity has fondness for
''sossiety," and her two daughters,
Arethusa and Melinda, have reached
the age when an advantageous match
is not to be frowned at. The fond
mamma has been considerably worried
by 'Argie's prediction for baker on
Court street, and to remove the sweet
girl from such dangerous influences
was powerful argument in the ears
of the paternal Hilarity.
The pater familias thought he'd do
a little figuring on the probable cost of
a two weeks trip to noted watering
place. He got out his pencil, and,
with his wife and two daughters at
his elbow, made up an estimate of ex-
pendi,ures which he thought would
prove approximately correct. Here it
is
Railroad fare going and returning, for four
Hotel bills s. per day, two weeks 100
Boat riding and other ncidentals. a5
Total l........................ .sal7
The old man felt we'll satisfied with
himself, and told the eager women that
they could go, and he would spare .
few days from his factory to accom-
pany them.
There was hustle and activity in the
Hilarity household for week. Me
linda went the rounds of all her friends
and informed them of her prospective
trip, besides sending a society note to
that effect to the Sunday papers.
Then the outfit must be bought, and,
strangely enough, the doting papa had
forgotten the new dresses in his esti-
mate, supposing, the guileless man
that he was, that there were clothes
enough in the family without any ex-
ira supply for two weeks journey.
Mrs. III. and her two charming hope
fuls visited all the dry goods stores
and ordered everything which they
thought necessary TO enable them to
cut a big swath at the resort. The
old man knew nothing about these
elaborate preparations, as his thought
full spouse advised the store keepers
and dress makers not to trouble Mr..
Hiarity with their bills until the first
of the month.
Half dozen big trunks were hauled
to the family residence. These were
almost inadequate to contain the i'm
mense quantity of new dresses, bon
nets and other paraphernalia of
society woman's attire. The eventful
day came. The exprcss-wagon came
for the trunks. When Mr.. Hilarity
saw the pile of trunks he threw up
both hands.
"Great Scott, my dear, where did all
those trunks come from! What are
you going to do with them! One
Saratoga ought to be enough for a trip
like this"
With her blandest smile the better
half spoke:
"Now, dearest, Arethusa and Melin-
da must be brought out right. Would
you want the poor dears TO go away
without any clothes ?"
For lack of any further material for
criticism, and still ignorant of the big
bills awaiting his return, Hilarily held
his peace. 1t cost $40 to carry the
baggage to the train and another $40
for excess os baggage was collected by
, the railroad company.
"Now my dear,' remarked the some
what irate husband, not entirely sub
dued, "lm really ashamed of you.
, People will think we are moving or
that You are lot of merchant travel
ers. Besides these things cost money.
Hilarity was still in bad humor
when the resort was reached. 1t added
7 to his bitterness of spirit when S2O
, was demanded for carrying five trunks
/ to the hotel. The poor man was i'm
/ posed upon every way. His belov ed
a family did not enjoy themselves, for
g the good catches for the girls didn't
: pan out The only men at the hotel,
I aslue iIOll sOille Olu lelluWs Ilkt I'LL
c arlty, We're dude dry goods clerks
/ working for $40 month. Arethusa
/ and Melinda had wretched time be-
t cause mamma wouldn't allow them to
> associate with poor young men with
r out any money or future.
r During the two weeks they only
: opened one trunk, and didn't get to
a wear their good clothes but once-thai
: was when Mrs. Bellamy Madison Spin
r. atol gave private hop.
Q While all this was in progress Hill,
' arity was not in the least hilarious. lie
had to pay out money at every turn
v and was compelled to draw on his
s banker for $500 extra. To add to his
}. troubles Mrs. III. caught violent colo
{ while out on the lake, and was crosl
+ and disagreeable generally. In tel
! days from the time of their arrival al
+ the lakes Hilarity said to his flcck;
= "You women folks can do as 20,
G please, but I'm going home to morrow
If you want TO stay here, bankrup
L your poor father or by dissipation fal
n into untimely graves, do so. l figure'
S on $500 as the cost of the trip, but 81
y far | have parted with seven hundre,
= good dollars, and everything isn't set
y tied up yet Make up your minds"
k They did, and decided to aocompan,
r. the old gentleman home,