davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
Two Opinions.

The opinion of the woman whose hus-
band has good garden:
"Does garden pay? What foolish
question: OF course it pays. 1t pays
better than any other part of the farm.
Why? Because so much can be grown
in it that the family can make available
at all seasons of the year. 1t isn't a
mere GUNNER institution-this garden
of ours. When summer ends we have
vegetables to use the same as we had
during the growing season, for we al
| ways raise enough to last until garden
stuff grows again. Think of the variety
the garden gives our bill of fare: Corn,
cabbage, tomatoes, lettuce. cucumbers,
parsnips, squashes, onions, saisify, beans,
beets, turnips, radishes-why, If you
were woman with a family to cook for
and you wanted something to make a
change with, you'd see where the ad-
vantage of having a garden came in.
With these vegetables to draw from
woman can so vary the bill of fare from
day to day that the men folks won't be
complaining about the same old grub
from one weeks end to another But
isn't it cheaper to buy than to raise?
See here How much money do you
suppose I'd have to expend on vegeta-
bles if we had to buy all we used? I'll
venture to say that wouldn't get $5 for
that purpose through the year, unless i
kept it back from the butter money
Men folks don't like to buy garden stuff,
but they do like to eat it. Thank good
ness, my husband has sense enough to
see the advantage of a garden. don't
know that he likes to work in one, but
he sees that it pays, and he is not regard
ing the pleasure of his appetite alone,
but considering the financial aspect of
the case, when he raises vegetables. He
knows that what we eat from the garden
costs less than other things we would
have to buy if we had no garden"
The opinion of the man who doesn't
| have garden:
"Do | have garden? Not much
Catch me puttering round in one. I'd
rather go down to the corner and sit
round the grocery store or saloon all day
| long than make garden bed. It's all
| foolishness. You sow the seed, and half
won't come up, and what grows gets
smothered by weeds. Why don't | pull
'em up? don't have to. | can work
on the farm, but | won't work in the
garden. Why? Because it don't pay
| to-didn't tell you that before? But
wouldn't it pay if / worked it the same
as do field? I don't know / don't
care to know. But don't | like vegeta-
bles? OF course / do. Do we buy any
Well, no, not to speak of. We can't af-
ford to. Don't l get tired of pork and
potatoes and bread the year round
Well, yes, do, and it seems as if my
wife might give us change sometimes,
but she don't If she did we'd spring
out with a better appetite, and not have
to take "bittersn and such stuff. She
always harps about garden-a garden
but just put my foot down and tell hei
she don't get me into that trap No
sir, | won't bother with one"
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
The Penalty for an Old Joke.

met ex-United States Treasurer John
c. New as | was strolling along The
avenue recently and induiging the gas
tronomy of the eve. says a correspond
ent of the New York Herald. He has
been stopping at the Riggs. Not long
since | heard a curious story told by one
of Gen. Grants closest friends. who had
it direct from the ex-President. Senator
Morton called to see the President one
day, and, being a cripple, Gen. Grant
came down stairs to see him. Finding
that his visitor was leading up to the
subject of patronage, Gen. Grant sug-
gested that they 90 round to the stable
and see new colt that had just been
bought Morton did not seem averse,
and when his servant had lifted him in
to his coupe he asked the President to
take the place by his side. They reach
ed the stable in due time The new
were all indicated by the President, who
was fair Judge of horse-fesh.
.'What do you think gave for him?"
he asked the Senator
s'About $780, replied Morton, who
knew nothing about horses and cared
less.
Wrong" said the President, Il paid
$780,"
I'D rather have the money. exclaim-
ed Morton.
Strange; but that's exactly what
the man said of whom j bought the
horse.
"How SOP
Il offered him my note for three
months, answered Gen. Grant, evident
ly much pleased that he had worked off
a favorite story in new shape on the
Senator from Indiana. But he sudden
ly ceased smiling as the latter retorted:
''If you offered that to a horse jockey 1
want you to offer the vacant treasurer
ship to John C. New of my State"
The directness of the request stagger-
ed the President. and he replied:
Il kaye already about promised the
place to Senator Conkling for friend
of ours in New York naming the
name, though do not recall it at this
moment-"I can't disappoint him, you
know"
'.And you can't puff off an old joke
on him as you have on me" was the
bland rejoinder.
At this the President laughed heartily
and John c. New received the appoint
ment few days later.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
Learn to be Useful.

Boys, when you come into the house
for your meals and find the dinner or
supper not quite ready, and your mother
and sisters hurrying around, warm and
tired, instead of standing about in the
way, leaning against the sink or fitting
back in your cDair against the buttery
door, you should take hold and help he
women folks. At first, may be, you
wont see any way that you can help
them, unless you were brought up to
work occasionally in the house. Try an
experiment tomorrow. Come in few
moments before dinner time and watch
the steps your mother takes in putting
the finishing touches to the meal. See
her lifting the heavy kettle of potatoes
from the stove and holding it, with
great effort, at nearly arms length, carry
it to the sink, and then lift it again to
drain off the water. Certainly, you
could do that for her. You can take
the pot of meat or beans from the oven
and thus save much of her strength
you can set the chairs up and run down
the cellar for the butter or bread: you
can glance over the table and see If 8
knife or spoon has been misplaced IL
dishing up the dinner, and if so, quietly
replace it. Wouldn't this be better
way than after the family are all com
fortably seated at the table. tc loudly
announce, "Marm. my knife and forks
gone-guess you mean for me to eai
with my fingers to-day" and then moth
| er has to spring up, no matter how ssif
and tired she may feel, and run to ths
cupboard and bring her great hoy hi
knife. When You notice the vinegal
lcrnet. the pepper or salt box, or an,
DISH has been forgotten, get up quietl,
ard get the same before your mothe
has chance to. See if she can't sit ii
l,race at meal time and not be continual
II gestiug up for articles. Things vii
he forgotten in the best regulated fami
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
DON'T KICK.

Here's piece Of advice I'll give to you
bub
Old man, old woman or chick
No matter what comes, 10 matter what
goes
Don't permit yourself ever to kick.
If the world, AZ it gravely goes jogging
along,
Throws the thorns in your path, fast and
thick,
Dodge all that you can. and step on the
rest,
Bot Of all thing, 1 pray you, don't kick.
If you throw yourself into political strife,
And get hit with political brick,
You will show your good sense by holding
your jaw,
And never once making kick
fyou play for winning and draw ont a
blank,
And some other chap makes the thing
just swallow the dose like good little
And, for Heavens sake, don't make a
kick.
Take things az they come, they'll be right
IN the end,
If you're hungry, rich, beggar or sick,
Youth only be wasting your valuable
time,
II you use it in making kick
And'If, in the end, when you pass in your
checks,
You're gobbied right up by Old Nick,
And 20 where they've lots Of fire and no
drink,
You'll be a darned fool II you kick
Il Mort Wood in San Francisco Pest.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28

Your habitually cheerful man is an
old fraud and liar. He is well-dressed,
while his children are the rag-bags of
the neighborhood. He has dollar for
cigars when his wife wears bonnet six
years old. He passes for whole-soul-
ed fellow with the public. but is fault
finder at home. You'll see him taking
che cool breezes on the river, while his
family are weltering in a stufy house on
some back street.
want to see man grin when there's
anything to grin at, but when Green
gets up in the morning and declares he
hasn't had meal fit to eat for the last
three months, and that he can't see why
his wife is always groaning around and
his children always whining, he has no
business to stop the first man he meets,
with smile clear back to his ears, and
shout out:
why, old fel, how solemn you do
lookl Brace up. mantle is worth the
living ten times over,"
| used to reverence Green. He had
grip of the hand like carpenters wise
he had voice as bland as June-he'd d
make consumptive believe that moth
ing more than a sore heel was the mat
ter. / used to lie in ambush for him
! just to hear his hearty voice and see his
serene countenance. and I'd go about
my days work wondering what sort of
guardian angel he had. / found out
one day when policeman had to go in
and stop him from beating his wife.
When you find man who can grin
over the servant girls jumping out at
an hours notice, with wife fiat in bed
and the children having scarlet fever
look around the ewes. don't you off ON
fishing trip with him. When man can
soar among the angels with bill collec-
tors ringing his doorbeil--last weeks
grocery bill unpaid-the children want
| ing shoes the rent running behind and
| his wife coughing all night long, he's
an Internal old fraud and ought to be
kicked When chap who has frozen
the children, jawed the cook and blast
ed his wife as a sort of morning tonic
before leaving the house meets you
about block from the gate and is
troubled because you haven't got your
| angels harp on your shoulder, keep
your hand on any stray half-dollar you
happen TO have about you He's mean
enough to steal chicken broth from a
boy with broken back.-M Quad IN
| Detroit Free Press.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
Secretary Lamar's Story.
HE MADE A GOOD HIT AT his OPPONENT,
But GOT IT ALL BACK.

4 HE Ma DE a GOOD Hi HE VI 8O-> t-9i 4 ,
BUT GOT IT ALL BACK.
washington Dispatch in Chicago News
Colonel William r. Morrison, Senator
\ Butler and one or two other gentlemen
were seated in Secretary Lamar's office
one morning, when the conversation
turned upon the joint debate between
Gordon and Bacon, the rival candidates
for the Goyernorship of Georgia. 1t
reminds me-" said Secretary Lamar, "ot
an incident that occurred during sim
liar debate between Governor Alcorn
and myself when we were making the
race for Congress Immediately after the
war. AIcorn, if you remember, was
very fnicky person about his dress, and
have no doubt If the term dude had
had an existence in those days it would
have fitted Alcorn exactly. We were
speaking one day at Hazlehurst. | saw
that Alcorn had made a good impress
sion, and that it was necessary for me
to counteract it if possible. There were
probably a thousand people in the
audience, most of whom were rough,
homespun class, and it occurred to me
that by appealing to their prejudices |
might hit Alcorn good one under the
belt, so to speak, that would be more ef-
fective than anything could say. And
so, after had got along pretty well In
my speech, turned to Alcorn and asked
the audience if they wanted to vote for
man who was so notoriously vain that
he had TO be dressed like a tailor's
dummy before he allowed people to see
him. while, on the other hand, fellow
citizens | continued, i, who ask for
your suffrages, am plain, unassumng
man like yourselves. l sport no fancy
scarf pins or patent leather boots, but,
to again institute comparison between
US, wear the hickory shirt of our an
cestors and clothes of the same homely
material The crowd cheered the senti-
ment and / saw that Alcorn looked pro-
voked At the conclusion of my re
marks Alcorn arose. My opponent he
said, has seen fit to criticise my style OF
dress and compare it unfayorably with
his own. 1t is true, ladies and gentle
men. that exhausted all the resources
of my wardrobe to appear before you to
day. [ felt that it was the highest COM
pliment l could pay you. L did 1t as
matter of respect for you. If did not
entertain these sentiments of high re-
gard Tor you WoulG COME among you
as Lamar has-unshaven, unkempt and
shabbily attired. l leave you 10 judge
which of us deserves the most at your
hands.
eff the audience had indorsed my SEN
timents they fairly howled their ap-
proval of Alcorn's The women were
especially enthusiastic. | saw | had
made mistake, but it was too late to
correct it, and so / laughed it off as best
l could But Alcorn's ready wit saved
him, for in the election which followed
few weeks later he defeated me by a
small majority, and an analysis of the
vote showed that in the town of Hazel
hurst, they had supported Alcorn almost
to a man"
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
Mrs. Clevelan6's Rooms
a ational Republican. ]

National Republican.
If you should take the President
house and run line through It from
north TO south, at the end of the library,
YOU would cut of Mrs. Cleveland part
of the mansion from that OF the Presi
dents. She has FIVE bedrooms, and they
are all large and airy. just off from
\ the library there is a cozy room which
used to be known as the girls room, and
it was in this that Nellie Grant lived,
and Nellie Arthur occupied it during
the last presidential term.
The Presidents bridal chamber is the
state bedroom, and it looks different
now to what il did when Mrs. Cleveland
first came into it. There are more home
touches. and the dressing table always
has its flowers. When President Arthur
was here be had his wife's picture
which hung on one OF these walls
wreathed with roses every morning
Now the roses are everywhere about the
room. and the gardener has done his
best to make it look beautiful. There L
wide lounge, or divan, at one side OF
the room. and the bed is of rosewood
with a great canopy of silk brocade II
gold and silver above it. A rich Turkish
carpet covers the floor, and there are
number of easy chairs scattered abou'
the room. Great chunks of wood liz
upon the highly polished brass andirons
and the mantel is covered with heavy
velvet cloth Of soft, dark red. iner'
is tidy on one Of the armchairs bear
ing the inscription in red, white ans
blue silk: "God bless our country AM
our President 1t was in this room
that the Prince Of Wales slept when y
visited this country, and if Victoria die
soon enough the bridal chamber Q
President Cleveland will have been tn
only guest chamber in the United State
| that has slept king.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
washington,s sfodesty.

There is a story told of Washington's
first appearance as a member of the
House of Burgesses. He was something
more than a new member: he was the
late Chief of the Virginia
army, the foremost man, in a military
way, in the province; he had just return
ed from the successful expedition against
Fort Duquesne So the House resolved
to welcome him in manner becoming
SO gallant Virginian. and it passed a
vote of thanks for the distinguished
military services he had rendered the
country. The Speaker. Mr.. Robinson,
rose when Washington came in to take
his seat. and made little speech of
praise and welcome, presenting the
thanks of the house. Every one ap-
plauded and waited for the tall colonel
to respond There he stood, blushing,
stammering, confused. He could give
his orders to his men easily enough, and
he could even say what was necessary
to Mrs Martha Gusts; but to address
the House of Burgesses in answer to a
vote of thanks-fhat was another mat
teri Not plain word could he get out
1t was capital answer, and the Speaker
interpreted it to the House
sit down, Mr.. Washington, said he.
'.Your modesty equals your valor, and
that surpasses the power of any Ian
guage / possess. - Horace Il. Scudder,
IN 81 Nicholas Jor Nay.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
FLoORED ON RUSSIAN.

He had studied every lexicon from Ancient
Mede to Mexican,
Knew Assyrian, Sanscrit, Greek;
Knew the shape of sword aud sandal of the
visigoth and Vandal,
And the old Etruscan features and ply
siqne.
He could write song or sermon in old
Celt or ancient German,
And sing Italian songs aud roundelays,
Describe Tiglssh- Pilezer, the herbivorous
Neb'chadnezzar,
And all the kings and queens Of olden
days.
He knew Nimrod, Noah. Gyms and the
monarchs of Epirus,
And gave scholarly descriptions of their
deeds
He could lend an added splendor to the
ancient witch of Endor,
And describe the early monarchs of the
Swedes.
But when he turned TO Russias, he reeIed
with the conclusion
OF word that parched and paralyzed
and stung
For van-Adamowski Shanki Ranoff Pc
ter-Squoshkie
Completely tied and tangled up his
tongue.
lid Bits.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
Little Sermons for Hot Days.

Contentment is better than money,
and just about as scarce.
The selfish man has most presence of
mind. He never forgets himself.
Vanity rules the fools, and often
makes simpletons of those who know
better.
What we believe il right is more often
SO because it grirds our ak than other
wise.
Money is handy commodity, and it
takes enterprise and self-denial 70 get
much of it.
He is the most slow in making prom
Use who is the most faithful in the per
Torrance of it.
A man protesting against error il In the
highway toward uniting himself with all
men who believe in truth.
Wickedness may prosper for awhile
but in the long run be that sets All
knaves - work will pay them
True bravery is shown by performing
without . witness what one might b<
capable of doing before all the world:
Failure, after long perseverance, i
much gr2nder than never having 9
striving goood enough TO be called. l
failure.
A ~ grow il years and experiencs
We become more tolerant, for Il y rart
to eee fault We have not ounelve'
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
True Beauty.

A woman famous as one of the most
kindly and lovable among leaders of the
best American society, once said: IF
have been able to accomplish anything
in life, it is due to q word spoken to me
in the right season, when | was child,
by my old teacher. was the only
homely, awkward girl in class of ex-
ceptionally pretty ones, and being also
duh at my books, became the butt OF
the school / fell into a morose, des-
pairing state, gave up study, withdrew
into myself, and grew daily more bitter
and vindictive.
One day the French teacher, a gray
haired old woman, with keen eyes and
and kind smile, found me crying.
SOU as-tu. ma fillef" she asked
81 madame, am so ugly" | sobbed
out. she soothed me but did not con
tradict me.
Presently she took me to her room
and after amusing me for some time
she said, 81 have present for you.
handing me scaly, coarse lump, covered
with earth. Ugly did you say7 Very
we'll, we will call it by your name then
| 1t is YOU! Now you shall plant it, and
water it, and give it sun for week o.
two
| planted it and watched it carefully
the green leaves came first, and at las
the golden japanese lily, the first had
even seen. Madame came to share m,
delight
aAh, size said significantly, avht
would believe 80 much beauty and fra
GRANGE were shut up in that little rough
ugly thing? But it took heart, ans
Icame out into the sun.
1t was the first time that it ever oc
Cured to me that, in spite of my ngi.
face, I, too, might be able to win friends
and make myself beloved IN the world
Youths Companion.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
Flowers in the School House.

Among the many refining influences
which thoughtful teacher may bring
to bear on her scholars there is nothing
more potent than a taste for flowers.
The same taste that will give touch of
refinement to the poorest cottage throws
a much needed grace over a bare school
room. And the children will soon begin
to take pride in their teachers foricul-
tural efforts, whether it takes the form
of winter window plants or outdoor
summer gardening. AS general thing,
the builders of a country sch Dollhouse
seem to pitch their tent on the most
barren and sterile spot in the neighbor-
hood, so outdoor gardening is well nigh
an impossibility. So the gardener Lust
make the most of a sunny window. The
plants may be contributions from parents
who possess them; usually the children
are very proud to supply Teacher
with what she wants, if it is in their
power. Simple plants of easy culture
may be chosen; the ever popular Wan
dering Jew is always pretty, ard is not
easily discouraged. Oxalis is another
nice thing, while scarlet geraniums are
always neat and thrifty, and turn their
smiling faces to their grower through
every change of season.
1t is not merely for their intrinsic
prettiness that we value flowers in the
school room; they will attract and re-
tain the interest of the scholars in a
marked degree. If the teacher possesses
an intelligent knowledge of plants, she
can give most entertaining object lessons
on this theme. We do not mean the
analytic botany so many graduates
possess-that is merely the bleached
skeleton of the subject. To engage the
attention Of children, one should know
plants intimately, and enjoy their conf
dence-study after the system enjoined
by Mr.. Squeers: "When a boy know:
b-o-t-t-i-n-n-e-y means a knowledge oi
plants, he just goes out and knows 'em. =
By sort of anecdotal knowledge Of
botany and Horticulture, teacher car
both interest and instruct And TN
refining influence of dainty blossoms
cannot be overestimated. 1t may moi
turn rough boys into Chesterfields all al
once, but it will be change in theil
material lives, and it will help to satisfj
that craving for beauty which is tn,
natural dover of every girl.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28
They Were just .Niggers.'

The colonial secretary of one of the
British West India colonies was in New
York not long ago and boarded at a
fashionable uptown boarding house.
One day he met gentleman whom he
had known on the island and took him
and his wife home to dinner. As the
guests of distinguished official they
were treated by the other boarders with
great consideration at the table and
afterward in the parlor. When they
had gone their entertainer asked the
people to guess to what nationality they
belonged. Some thought they were
Spaniards, on account of their dark
color; others that they were Italians;
all agreed that they we're elegant and
accomplished. I'll tell you, said the
official. throwing himself back in his
chair in high enjoyment Of the situa-
ton. ..shey are just what you people
here call nothing but niggerss Aeu
York Tribune.
The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1886-07-28

1t is not generally known, but the
Duchess of Teck. born Princess Mary of
Cambridge. and granddaughter of
George w.. is of as high lineage as her
Majesty, Queen Victoria At one time
there were only two lives between her
and the throne She is unfortunately
married and unfortunate in appear
ance, being enormous in size; but, des-
pite this disagreement she carries her
self with grace and dignity that make
many say she would have looked a
queen better than the wearer of the
crown. She has. indeed, more royal
bearing and a finer charm of manner
than any member of the Queens inn
mediate family. Married to the pauper
son of morganatie wife of a German
duke, her portion from Parliament is
5000 year, a sum which she finds
insufficient for the demands of her
station.