davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

1t might be supposed that these old ideas
would have vanished with the advent of
Baconian philosophy and have gone to make
mp the cemetery of exploded notions, filling
q grave by the side of alchemy, elixir
vitsB and other ancient notions but they
did noS On the contrary, they have been
more common and more diversified of late
years than ever before One of the most
complex and intricate machines was that
invented by Ratef de la BretOnne several
hundred years ago. This was a complex
arrangement of wings and pulleys and
lines, made to operate like the wings of
birds when flying or, more nearly, like the
apparatus which old poets and artists used
to attach 10 their first class dragons In
addition to tha wings, which were made in
a way that would awaken pride in the
heart of any dragon, he vas provided with
al umbrella or parachute over his head and
q lunch basket under his feet For some
reason at present unknOwn-perhaps it was
because he carried to- many rations in his
basket or perhap> the bread ne carried was
OF 'sogRy" nature, and refused to rise
when hidden the cOntrivance did not sue
ceed, and Retlf, after breaking both legs,
and showing a willingness to break
more II he had them, concluded his
aerial career bv breaking his head, and
ended his life as a peanut peddler or In
some other vocation that did not require
such risks His failure did not discourage
Others, however. but for every one that
failed there were twenty waiting to take
his place. Soon after America was discOv-
cred, and the gold of the New World came
pouring into Spain, it Is said that every
village had its resident VIII was prep tring
TO go up when his machine was completed,
but who never went hgher than tha top of
two story building. In those days there
were men leapng off from every house and
mountain side in the country. Few tried il
second time. Some devDtei their remain
ing days to crutches and SPAWN cure, while
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
UP TO SNUFF"
The Trick OF an Imp, as Told In Seven
Chapters.
[Fliegende Biatter.l
ACCIDENTAL SHOOTING.
A Texas Darky Explains the Advantages Of
His System of Defense.

Texas Darky Explains the Advantages Of
His System of Defense.
The frequency with which unloaded gune
and pistols are discharged with fatal results
is suggestive OF the suspicion that some OF
the alleged deplorable accidents are the re-
suit of deep design.
These peculiar accidents remind one OF a
conversation that occurred between two
negroes.
What has yer got wropped up in dat
paper'"
Oats a pistil, one OBJ dis heah pistils
what's easy on de trigger, what cocks hit
self and shoots hitself Off"
"Whaffor does yer want pistil? Can't
yer 'fend yersef wild knife?"
The other negro, who WAS a very hard
case, shut one eye, and with a smile that
was calculated to produce a shudder, re-
piled:
when pistil goes off and kills a man
yer kin make folks believe it went off by
akcerdent, but ef you say a knife killed a
man akcerdentally some folks will be shore
to hab doubts. s."-Texas Siftings.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Plantation Philosophy.

Ef dar is place o. tormentiur anermals,
de balky hoss is gwine dar.
1t doan meek no diffunce how big er liar
er pusson is he hates de pusson dat won't
tell de truth.
De road ter nearly eberythin' good is
bersot wild difierkilties. De meat o. de
bony fish is de sweetest.
It's mighty seldom dat yer ken tell er
pusson 'zactly how yer wants er thing
done, an nine times outen ten it is better
fur er pusson ter do it hisse'f, fur eben ef it
ain done 80 well, he is better pleased wild
de job. When yer itches twixt de shoul-
ders it's er mighty hard matter ter tell er
pusson whar ter scratch.-Arkansaw Tray
eIer.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

other day for train, and as he was
walking in and out good deal the police
officer on that beat cautioned him to look
out for confidence men.
"Oh, know all about confidence men,"
was the reply, and that ended the conver-
sation for that time.
In about an hour the old man came
rushing up in an excited state Of mind and
cried out:
Some Internal skunk has picked my
pocket OF twenty-five dollars!"
"Well, cautioned you"
"You're liar! You told me to look out
for confidence men, and never said a word
about pick-pocketsi Wl,;Is was a-tellinp
one chap that was no greenhorn, and that
nobody could confidence me, his partner
got into my pocket. You're nice old
police force, you arel''-Detroit Free Press.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

others, Who dared greater falls, shuffied on
this mortal frame, preferring to take their
chances at being angels and having wings
that didn't require oiling, to any imitation
they were capable of conceiving. Even in
modern times the dreamers have not been
few. The Patent-cffice Of the United States
Is full Of models for flying machines on
which copyrights have been secured These
have wings, aad fans. and parachutes, and
bladders and every possible cOntrivance by
which gravitation can be overcome or avoir-
dupois reduced.
In 1s42, about the time the Millerites
were talking about going up and ascension
robes were In great demand, Mr.. Henson,
an enthusiastic Englishman evolved an idea
from the recesses OF his mind and came out
with machine that he claimed could 20
without the aid of muscular force. As
muscular exeFtion is the great bdne Of
thinking men, Henson's contrivance was
popular among scholars His machine
looked something like an overgrown bat
having q propeller instead Of feet and .
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

the finishing touches to her toilet upstairs.
While she was munching the candy he had
given her, she suddenly put her hand to her
cheek.
''Oh, dear, I've got toof-acher'
That's too bad" he said sympathstical<
ly.
II wish my teet was like Sister Lilies"
she said, artlessly.
"Why?" he asked.
"Then, when they ached, could take 'em
out an put 'em in a mug tin they got
through"
And then Sister Lille, who had entered,
led her out with the remark that "little
girls should have been in bed long ago.
Sam, the Scaramouch.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
THE BEEHIVE.

ss - ..
. Observe .. .s .
. these busy little s&
= bees laying up their
honey, and try to be as
wise as these by saving all
your money. You smoke,
say fvecigars away and drink,
~ say six times daily; cards, pool
. . and billiards, too, you play, and. .
treat the fellows gayly. Intwen-
ty years this fun will cost, &C
cording to good scholars, with in.
terest and time that's lost, Just
$4,000. But if you count your loss Of
health and self-inhicted trouble. you'u
find this foolish waste of wealth will
figure more than double. Then. when it's
time no more to slave, but pleasure take,
30 sick you will feel because YOU didn't
save, you'll want some one to kick YOU.
So initiate these busy bees, and all your
pennies treasure, and then when older take
your ease with forty years of pleasure.
h C. Dodge, 1s Goodalls S,as
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

Hight framework covered with thin cloth,
instead of wings. The first thing needed
by him was to get up rapid rate of speed,
which he accomplished by taking his in
hill and letting it run down like hand
sled. When it got to going in good shape,
making the dust fly and plowing up the
dirt like an avalanche, he spread out
the wings and it shot off into the air,
like a puff OF smoke from the mouth
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Nv.

a Gardiner man brought pair of pants
OF a trader recently, giving an order on
prominent ice dealer for payment. The
pants didn't ft. and he wished to exchange
them, but this the dealer refused to do, as
they were slightly soiled. The man was
indignant and sought the advice OF a law
yer. The lawyer went to the dealer and
return the order. The man who returned
the clothing was delighted, and didn't think
it at all exorbitant when the lawycr de-
manded the order in payment for his SER
vices. The dealer got the pants; the law
yer got the order, and the purchaser got
left.-AuQusfa Journal
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

Here is a good story apropos Of dueing.
Two frequenters OF the principal cafe at
Aries quarreled. with the result that two
friends OF the one who considered himself
the affronted party waited on the other,
corn merchant in the town The latter
received them courteously, but after hear
ing their message sent them back to HE an
tagonist with the reply: 'Tell NJ. Carjuza,"
he said, that it would give me great pleas
ure to fight him were we on an equality az
adxersaries. Bpt d. Cariuza is bachelor
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Objected to Being Tipped.

DE Guy-I heard you were arrested the
other day on account of beastly row with
q waiter.
Allcash-So was. He had me arrested
for giving him tip.
De Guy-Impossiblel Who ever heard Of
such a thing?
Alcash-True as shooting, though. He
was deuced insolent, and just tipped him
over the table with my boot.-E hiladeIphis
Call
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

want your sidewalk cleared Off" he
asked OF citizen Of Woodward avenue.
Just got man."
Have any badges on?"
II believe he has five or six"
Then let him keep the job. I'm a tramp
and hard up, but them roller-skating cham
pions has got to earn a living somehow.
and m not the man to stand in their wav'
Iney are entitled to public sympathy and
assistance. detroit Free Press.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
An Absent.M,ndsd Cl.iuen.

A couple of San Antonio gentlemen
were talking about prom nent citizen, a
member of the Board of Aldermen.
us he good man?'
"Yes, but it's pity that he drinks"
"DOes he drink to excess?'
Some people might call it so. He plays
cards, and drinks tOddies at the club-room
until one o'clock"
is he drunk when he goes homer
Il don't know for certain, but from the
fact that he usually stops at drug store to
find out the address of his own house.
should suppose that he was rather absent
N inded.-"IGr GrdLS SiftfIlas.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Where He Was Struck.

Witness-Yes, sir. He struck me on the
bridge
Lawyer (sharply interrupting)-How 10
that? You said awhile ago that he struck
you on the balcony?
Witness-So he did, sir. I'm tellin' you
no lie.
Lawyer-Did he strike you more than
once2
Witness-0nly once, sir. Begorra, was
quite satisfied.
Lawyer-How then could he strike you
on the bridge and on the balcony at the
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Anxious Judge Peterby.

Mrs. Judge Peterby is a very spare wo-
man. She is excessively thin. A few days
ago her husband said:
II don't really think that you ought to
go out on the street, Mariah."
why not?" she asked
"Weil, you know there is so much danger
Just now from mad dogs. They will bite at
almost anything"
But l don't think am In any more
danger than anybody else"
20, yes you are. Dogs love to gnaw
bonss. s."-Texas Siftin0s.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Not to Re Persuaded.

"Mr Dusenberry, here is a funny state
ment''
"Read 1t, my dear"
IF Piute Indian girl doesn't like her
lover she tells her grandmother, and the
next time he calls the old lady throws .
shovel full of hot ashes into his face. A
queer way of giving him the mitten, isn't
it?'
'And probably effective, my love.
What pity you weren't living with your
grandmother when first came to see
you"
''Oh, you think that's smart don't you?
The hint wouldn't have been sufficient
Even my fathers heavy boets exercised no
persuasive influence. ~ Phi,ddcLplsid Cdu
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Millions OF Ants In MId-Air.
Utica Herald.l

An immense swarm OF wing ants "a.
cended into the air Sunday on the Card
farm, two miles east of Perry, many ant.
hills uniting their myriads. An eye-wit-
ness says they arose with incredible ve-
locity, each column looking like a slender
network, having q tremulo ous, undulating
motion The noise emitted by the whole
number hardly exceeded the hum of q
wasp. They made tier appearances in
such prodigious numbers tnat the barn
near by was entirely obscuree. The wind
soon destroyed them. their bodies cover !.
ing the grounI
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Wanted a wider Range.

"Mr. Dusenberry, you must stop this
complaining about my cooking. l try my
best tn please you. You restrict me to such
few dishes. Now, if l had wider range
~
'Oh, it's the range, my dear, is it? Then
I'll have new one put in as wide as tho
side OF house. ."-PbiLddeip pltia CdG
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
A Child's Definition.

Mother" said little RockIand girl,
looking up from her book, "what does
transatlantic mean?"
"Oh, across the Atlantic, OF course. Don't
bother me; you make me forget my count"
"Does trans always mean 0cross2"
81 suppose it does. II you don't stop
bothering me with your questions you'n go
to bed"
"Then does transparent mean cross
parept?"
Ten minutes later she was resting in ner
little couch.-RockLandC Courier.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12

same time and with one blow?
Witness-Anyhow, he did, sir.
Judge Gnterfering)- what balcony2
Witness-The balcony Of the hotel, your
Honor.
Judge-And on what bridge?
Witness-The bridge OF my nose, sir.
Had the spalpeen waited, I'd told him.
Phila deLphia Call.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Complimentary MentIon.

Gus Snobberiy. a New York Fifth av-
enue dude, paid young lady great deal
OF attention at a social gathering but she
snuooed MIN unmercifully. At last Gus,
who had been taking too much wine said.
Il really believe. Miss Blank, YOU think
that am a fool"
~. no. Mr Snobberiy." she replied. with
sweet smile. Il never Judge person bv
the way he locks. ."-Terts Sifttn a.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
III.

took up the box. "How simple and poetic
a way of asking me to be his wife, and so
direct. Ahl" and she kissed the blush pa
per and tenderly united the string
81 tremble," she whispered. "Will it be
a diamond, or a ruby, Or"
1t was neither. 1t was a napkin-ring.-
San Francisco Chronicle
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Not That Kind of q Ring.

Deep in the satin recesses," his letter
ran, "of this iairy-box you will find ring.
l had it made for you to inclose, as it were,
my sentiments on this joyful occasion"
Her heart stood still.
''How beautiful" she murmured, as she
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
An Unprem.ditated pun.

An Unpremeditated Pun.
We'll, boys, Isuppose you enjoyed your
selves?" he said, upon the return OF his two
boys from O weeks visit at grandpa's.
Well, pop, you can just bet we did. We
had roast turkey, candies, nuts and mince-
lies. We just stuffed until we were sick.
We bad a Gorgeous time. hadn't we, Tom
ny7"
Yes, Billy, we had. Call.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Getting Used to the Public.

Young Pianist (downhearted) )-Oh, ,it'sno
use, don't seem to have any luck. The
people are continually telling me I can't
play, and have no talent whatever.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Lnst M. Mind.

"oid man Pennybunker has married
again"
You don't tell me so"
"Yes, and he has married a right young
girl forty years younger than he is''
well, l declare. His other wife only
died six months ago. and he went OH so at
the grave that expected that he would
lose his mind"
well, you see your prediction has come
TO ass."--Je1Hs Siffings.
eDD
Judge Peterby's wife almost talks him 10
death
How is your wife coming ong' asked .
ffiasi
Spiendid; she has caught such feag.
IN God she can't taIx.r-Ths Judge.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
CHURCHES.

METHODIST EP1sCOPAL.-Scryices every
4N1 sunday at n 100 n. IN. and Z 30 y. I'm. sun
day school every sunday at $500 u. IN. Prayer
meeting every "Wednesday evening Rt 7.OO
Strangers invited. W. II. GILLIAN, Pastor.
DRESBYTERIAN.-Scrv ON second AMI
- fourth Sundays of each month. sunday
school az 10 A. VI. A. ANLtNE, Pastor.
HHRISTtAN.-- Preaching every Sunday at
q. m. every Sunday. A. m. MULKEY. Pastor.
CATHOLIC CHURCH Services on third
sunday Of every month nj SherlOcks hall, at
lO;O n. IN. sunday school immediately after
ward. john II. MCKUNE, Pastor.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
POSTAL

Postorhcc NJ atMedicine Lodge open from7A "
tn y PM. Sundays one hour on arrival Of mail
Money order Office. r. A. MCCLEARY. =. NJ
A. :. S.MCCLEARY, Assistant.
The Mails:
From Attca and NIL Eastern points, arrives
daily nc pm: leaves daily ats ".
From Ashland, COldwRtcr, Ncscutunga, Sol
der Creek, Red Creek, sun city, Lake City,
Mingona, kingman, BrOss, New kiOwu, arrives
daily.
= t. ~, arrives Mondays. Wednesdays pnd Fri
n ysathPM. DcpartsTucsdays,T Thursday and
Saturdays nt 4 AM.
From iulSn, Elm Mills and Saratoga arrives on
tuesdays and Fridays at y " and departs on
wednesdays and saturdays at SAM.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
SIMPLE AND SURE.

An Knsctual way to Prevent Convicts Es~
Gaping from jail.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
A Nice Old Police Force

Nice Old Police Force.
An old and innocent-looking man was
waiting at the Third street depot the
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
VII.

Veteran Pianist-Don't be so downcast,
my boy. You'll soon get used to the ways
OF the public. Why I've had the same thing
said to me great many times, only yes
terday, in fact, and by a man whom l es.
TEEN highly.-N. Y. Star.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1886-02-12
Druggists and Pharmacists.
SOUTH MAIN STREET,
Medicine Lodge, Kansas.

A NEW ana complete drug store, where af all
u times, day or night, prescriptions are
macist-
~ Pure Wines and Liquors for Sacramental.
Medical and Scientific Purposes.
~ Druggists sundries. Toilet Articles. Art
is@ Materials, fresh and pure on hand %
The Washington critic., 1886-04-23
THE NEW YORK pRESS.

The HtIuld this morning believes" that
when the President reads the testimony In
the telephone investigation, "hc will not hesi-
tate to get himself at once new Attorney
General, new Commissioner of Indian Az
fairs, new Commissioner of Railroads, and
new chief clerk in the Indian Office and ad-
wise Senator Harris that he ought to resign"
The Times says: "Such commission as the
President suggests might help in the general
adjustment of the relations Of capital and
labor by contributing to better understand
ing of them, but what could 1t do for men who
refuse to work because other men are al
lowed to work. or because some man is not
employed by somebody who does not want
him!n
The ITord congratulates itself and the
country upon the laying of the last stone of
the Bartholdi pedestal OF Mr.. Goulds in
dorsement of the Presidents message on the
proper method of dealing with labor troubles,
It says: "Mr. Gould Is unquestionably In favor
Of Capitalization. lie might be induced to
favor change of the form of government.
Something neat in the Imperial way would,
nodoubt, suit him."
The 71iJune says: "If the Presidents message
lIuH cIOTJ 10 gam
favor with a certain class of voters, II means
that he does not approve of the Arbitration
bill. A veto message would have been the
proper way in which to state his objections.
Certainly some Of the statements in the mes
sage lay II open to the criticism of n Demo-
cratic senator that II contains 'clap-trap.'"
The Star says: "Whateyer may be the i'm
mediate result Of the message in shaping legis.
lation, It's ultimate effect on tho effort of
wofklngmen 10 better their condition will be
Of incalculablo value. Here Is n recognition
by the highest officer Of the republic of the ex-
istence Of their grievances, and of the sub,
stautlal justice of their demands for the re-
dress Of wrongs"
The SIN wants TO know why there should
he any dispute on the number Of hours tn It
should constitute days work. The sensible
plan would be to pay by the hour, not by the
day, and to let every one labor as many
hours. or as few, as he may wish" 1t says
the President would get a new lease of
popularity by getting married." and it has no
fears OF seeing a Mugwumpess in the White
House"
The Washington critic., 1886-04-23
Confirmation Dresses.

The general rule obtaining In Paris In re-
spect OF confirmation dresses Is that they
shall always be simple. They are made,
however, of fine muslin, and good quality
of silk is used for the Innings.
A boys confirmation suit is OF black
cloth with white piquc vest. The trou.
sers and coat are OF cloth. The front OF the
coat opens on the upper part as well as
slightly below, to show the vest. White
mother of-pearl buttons close the vest down
the front.
Another confirmation dress is OF muslin,
with insertions Of white "moire" ribbon
The silk skirt is covered with muslin,
trimmed on the lower part with three rows
Of MORE ribbon, forming Insertions The
waist ga la VERGE" has n high MORE col
lar, trimmed with plaitings of crepe lIsse.
The handkerchief bag, belt aud book
may be costly and rich. A confirmation
dress may have skirt OF n light quality of
silk or of plain muslin. The thin muslin
overdress has wide hem on the lower part.
The waist is half low in the neck, with a
gathered muslin guimpe covering the neck.
The Washington critic., 1886-04-23
wANTED-t MAN.

If there is man in Congress who
has independent views on the labor
question and the nerve to express them,
irrespective of all party or political
considerations, now is the time for him
to show himself
A great emergency is upon the couu-
try, when brave and sagacious leader.
ship will be required. Is there man
at either end of the Capitol with the
courage and capacity TO take 1t? fso,
be is keeping himself most industri.
ously concealed.
The man that Is wanted--bc he SEN
ator or representatives, the man who
can forget for the time being that there
is another Congressional election to be
held next fall, or that State Legislatures
are TO be elected on the complexion of
which his Senatorial ambition hinges
for its success.
The man that is wanted must be II
patriot and not Il politician.
He must be rs far above the inllu-
enccs of capitalists and corporations
and the seductions of wealth as he is
free of the arts of the demagogue, He
must be bold TO attack the conspiracies
of the money. power to defraud labor
of its honest rewards, and at the same
time intrepid enough to call halt upon
the mistakes of the labor organizations
that they may not precipitatc upon us
all the despotism of military force.
That's the question, Where's the
man2 Let him raise his hand. The
country needs him. Legislation needs
him. The crisis needs leader who by
the sheer strength of his unadulterated
honesty of purpose and conscientious
love of our institutions and regardless
ness Of popular clamor, and unconcern
about his political future, shall grasp
the situation in all its complex proper
tions, command the peace and mould
public opinion to his following that
the rights and wrongs on both sides of
the great issue may be fairly ascer-
tanned and adjusted. Where's the man ?