Morning journal and courier., 1886-08-14
ADVANTAGEOUS.

Dr. Holmes has certain advantages over other humorists in going to Scotland, as he
 is surgeon.-Boston Record. The man who wants but little here below may feel tolerably confident that his desire will be granted.-Detroit Free Press.
 The woodcuts of Lieutenant Hem in the daily papers seem to have been made by the hatchet process.-Boston Commercial Bulle- tin.
 It is said that you can remove coffee stain from damask by soaking it in milk. But we should think the best way would be to put some milk in the coffee in the first place. Puck.
 Suppose old Dr. Johnson, the lexicogrs- pher, were to stick his head up out of the grave and hear somebody yell Boycott the scab!"-Springfeld Union.
 The son of clergyman was delivering g valedietory when, in pulling out his hand kerchief, he pulled out pack of cards. "Hello!'' he exclaimed, tI've got on my fath- CTS coat. ."-Durant (Miss.) News.
 Husband Gmpatiently to wife)-I told you only wanted half cup of tea, and, as usual, you've filled it to the top. Don't you know what half full is! Mother-in-law (grim- ly)-She ought to by this time.-New York Sun.
 The following explanation of the origin of the word ''neighbor" will be approved by many persons who have passed their lives in the city: "Boor, /" from the Anglo-Saxon, is @ rustic or eountryman, and near is nigh. Neighbor is nigh-boor, the boor who dwells near.-Louisville Courier-Journal.
 A New Hampshire chap who wanted to break off the engagement to another fellow of the girl he loved didn't try to persuade either that the other was false, but just con- trived to get them both to join the same church choir, and in less than week they didn't speak.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
 "What is your husbands businesss" de- manded the census marshal. "He has no business" replied the woman of the house. work at all; he's labor reformer." "Sure enough; and what do you doa' ''Plain sew ing and washing and ironing. ."-Burdette.
 Military Items-Corporal to soldier "Why is the blade of the sabrs curved in- stead of straightp' Soldier-ttIt is curved in order to give more force to the blow" Cor The sabre is curved SO it will fit the scabbard. If it was straight, how would you get it into the crooked scab- bard, blockhead."- the German, in Texas Siftings.
 q don't want to buy your hotel," the usual man said, in quite the usual way, when he WAS told that board was 50 day at dull seaside resort in New Jersey. "Oh, no; said the proprietor, sadly. eff had thought you had wanted theAhotel for the rest of the season I would have offered you s5 day gladly, and thrown, the hotel in, debts, wages and all."-Harper's Bazar.
 Not many months ago in eastern Massa- chusetts, where Unitarianism has it's strong hold, some clergymen of that denomination were discussing the causes of the slim attend snce in their churches on the Lords day. Some mentioned one cause and some anoth CT. At length one of them, gentleman of vivid imagination and philosophic insight worthy of an Emerson, broke forth in this wise "Tll tell you what the trouble is. We have been teaching our people that they are all sitting on greased rainbow, and which ever way they slide they will slide into heaven. ."-Richmond Religious Herald.