davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

It is as full in detail rs a bill of sale
for property. Nothing, perhaps, could
be added to it that would render it
more perfect and comprehensive. In
this list of particulars, defining what
constitutes wit, there is no hint relat-
ing to an item of bad spelling. The
greatest authority on the subject OF
wit cmits any mention OF ridiculous
photography as an element or consult
.uent quality of wit. He was eminently
and indisputably right.
Some readers laugh at bad spelling.
They laugh at it. however, because it
is simply ridiculous, not because it is
witty or humorous. People laugh at
bad spelling us they laugh ut other ex-
hibitions of Ignorance, or as they laugh
at Il man VINO tumhles down prepos-
terously in their presence. Intelligent
laughter at bad spelling is mingled
somewhat with contempt and some
what with pity. The sense Of enjoy
mcnt created by real wit expressed in
badly spelled words is, mingled with a
finer sense of disgust for the writer
who resorted to SO obvious a trick for
the purpose OF attracting attention TO
thai which needed no such badge to
mark or identity it. Bad spelling in Il
writer who knows better is II species of
humbug and imposture as dlscredita-
bic as the Ignorance of Il who does
not know enough TO know and prac-
tice the rules of photographic science.
-Chlcuq0 Journal
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05
Yum Yu1n's Mistake.

Speaking of "Lhe Mlkado," a Japan
csc gentleman was asked about its ac-
curacy lust as Kalisha kissed Yum
Yum, and made all tho dudes mouths
water. ',They ncver kiss in Japan, nor
do they shake hands. When affection
has ripened so that it must melt in
kissing, it has reached the matrimo-
NAL degree, aud its manifestations are
strictly private. The profound bow is
the japanese s%alutation, a repeated
prostitution OF the body, each bonding
OF back accompanied by . porpoise
Wheeling. 1t is the inhalation IT
air. When the Mikado appears in 10"
kio no street gamin can cllmD a tele~
graph pole TO view the pageant. nor
ever can q citizen mount u step. All
must bow profoundly. The costumes
are really Japanese. The Mikado's
own flag might add to the scenic ac-
curacy. 1T is Il conventionalized chry-
santhemum on u white ground. The
dancing is' wrong. The women are
rignt in their little, quick PAGES, but
the men did not move thus. And IN
the Japanese dance there is nothing
but s%tatcliness and graceful posturing.
There is the dignined grace OF the
minuet, coupled with much ARTISTIC
pos!ng."--HbAadetpAla AeWS. II
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05
Rules of the Prize Ring.

"What is the true history of your
famous prize-ring rules?" asked a re-
porter for the New York lial and E1-
press of the marquis of Queensberry.
"Well, John Chambers and / wrote
them while l was attending school at
Cambridge. When there l held Tor
two years the lightweight champion
ship in the ring. The amateur cups at
the annual sparring-matches were
prizes that many boxers sought. We
then had no definite rules of boxing.
Chambers and | were delegated to draft
O set of rules. We did so, and | after
ward revised them, Hitherto it was
difficult to decide when two men fought
which got the better in scientific points,
The rules We're written to cover not
only scientific points, but any question
which might arise as to which was the
best boxer. WE'LL, i rather think the
rules were sufficient for all ring pur-
poses. My father was a good Loxer.
think prize-tighting rather a brutal
manly sports, but my time'is not given
up to them. In England the %prize-ling
has almost been given up. Sports OF
that kind have been on the decline for
some time there. The reason l do not
attend many boxing-matches is because
l find it difficult to keep myself from
joining in and knocking soltie M out.
All the pleasure of the exhibition is lost
by my wishing to be a participation in
stead of spectator.
America has much to be proud of
in fine boxers. 1t is carried on to a
greater extent, and the people patron
ize and encourage the art. In San
Francisco l witnessed a sparring-match.
l was surprised at the science displayed.
Even the amateurs did remarkably
we'll. Ihave never seen John L.. Sui
livan box. From what l hear, I'ratber
think he has a great deal Of science
with his sledge-hammer blows. He
makes a rush at his opponent and beats
down his barriers of defense. Then if
his opponent could knock him back
while he is thus exposed, giving his ter
rible blows and at times leaving HIM
self %unguarded, no doubt the tide would
change. Reverse the method of fight
now and attack Sullivan for all that
can be gained. The onslaught which
he has never been used to %astonishes
him, and puts him in an attitude Of de-
Tense, something he never contem-
plated. The rusher is met by a rusher,
and the tug Of war is more uncertain
than ever. But as l have not witness
ed his sparring, l can not enter into
any analytical discourse about it. 1t
was the old tactics to stand wary and
defend until the party attacking was
wearied out. The victory then was
easy. Sullivan has reversed the order,
and has the physical prowess to make
it effective. 1t is Il great advantage to
understand the art of self-defcnse
with the means nature has provided.
1t gives courage and confidence to q
man, and puts him at ease in any crowd.
Look how we'll our English soldiers
fought h~and-to-hand with the Arabs OF
the desert. They understand how to
box. If both armies had been unarmed
the English boys could have Knocked
the Arabs blind in one round"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

UYTN more money than at anything else
~ AxN by taking an agency for the best
Selllng BOOK out. Beginners succeed grandly.
None fail. Terms free. HAiI.ETT BOOK az
Portland, Maine. ~
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05
How a Maid Paid for her CURIOSITY

a somewhat curious anecdote is re.
lated among the vaccinators of a young
woman whose curiosity has outrun her
judgment. She Investigated the con-
tents OF one of the v%accinator's re-
ceptacles in the house in which he
lodged, and wherein she was a servant
They were nice little toothpicks, she
thought, so sharp-pointed; Il little
wide, perhaps, and clumsy. She was
going to have one, anyway. She took
n OF the vaccine points, which are
ivory, and easily mistaken for tooth
picks by u servant who knew nothing
Of vaccination. She picked her teeth
with the point, and before long could
not tell what was the matter with her.
Neither could any one else, until she
showed the doctor the toothpick. He
knew then what he had to deal with.
The result is better imagined than de-
scribed, as the vaccination ''took."-
Moutrcat Letter us a. y. Herald.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

We beg the indulgence of our read
ers for shortcomings for the last few
weeks. Have been physically disor-
ganized by having had a wagon roll
across our troubled Uranium, and by
having experienced the lusty blows OF
a Georgia mule sprinkled I'D and
down our back. Had a narrow escape
tor our life. We promise, however,
not to be guilty OF the like soon, Dec
Reconsideration (Ga.) Ncws.
The conversation turned to Niagara,
and one OF them observed:
"les. it Is a wonderful sight. 1 re-
member the first time l went there. It
was some twenty years ago, and the
first evening I was walking"
You were walking, were youp"
eyes; what of it?"
"Oh, nothing. but | didn't have to
walk until the second day."
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

Sir James Paget has been tracing the
course in life OF ] 1000 medical students.
taken from random from an English
institute. He found that 23 out OF the
1000 achieved distinguished success;
80 had considerable success; 5O7 made
a living; l24 had a very limited success
not having made a fair practice within
fifteen years after graduation, and Sc
failed utterly. Nearly 10 per cen (96)
OF the who.e number left the profession
after beginning either study or prac-
t!cc, and II died wien Students.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

5000 600 c in H're sostsIga ivs s"j nM w M,i Se nd, us H,i 8
get free a package of goods of large value. that
will start you in wOrkthat will ut once brinwyoI
in money faster than anything else in America.
AllaDout the 100000 in presents with each box.
AGENTS wanted everywhere, OF either sex, of ali
ages. for all lifetime. or spare time only. to work
Tor us at their W homes. Fortunes for all wor-
ktrs absolutely assured. Don't delay, II. Hal,
LETT 4 Co., Portland. Maine.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

From that time out Mr.. Brown has
always made a point OF charming his
street arabs up before leaving them IN
charge OF ipgs.-New lorw Journal
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-02-05

4 pRI7I send six cents for postage. and re-
H.! lllLl!, ceive free. a costly box OF goods
Which VIII help you to more money rigll! away
Than anything else i'll this world. All of either
fortune opens before the workers.. absolutely
sure. At once address TRUE SEQ. Augusta. Me
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
COM MISSION MEN.

Readers of the TRIBUNE will re-
member that u few weeks ago we
published an article exposing the
business methods of Il certain class or
commission men doing business IN
st. Paul and Minneapolis and show
ing something Of the extent to which
country merchants are suffering by
them. The editor of this paper has
since laid the matter before the st.
Paul Board ofTrade, personally and
10y correspondence. We have also
induced others tn aid in agitating the
matter Here is one of the results ac-
complished. At Il recent meeting of
the st. Paul Board Of Trade, lie fol-
lowing resolutions were unanimously
passed:
Whereas, This board of trade has
learned of the disreputable practices
of certain dea ers and commission
merchants of st. Paul, we deem it
our duty as q representative bod y to
publish list of the members of our
body doing n commission business,
for whom we can vOuch as being
honorable dealers and worthy of con-
signments. We would advise all
country dealers to consign their pro-
duce to some one of these firms, and
to thoroughly investigate all others
before making consiguments to this
market, and thereby save themselves
trouble and losses. The following
commission firms are members in
good standing of this board of trade
of st. Paul.
James Harrison & Co., J. NJ. Bohrer,
A. L. Larpanteur, Grant & Mullen
Henie & Rake, H. c. Henlenway
& Co., Cummings d Fillehr0wn,
Tierney & Co., b. Presley & Co.,
Wilkins & Clark, J. |. Jcllett, w. H
Ritter, Marvin & Cammack, H. Swift,
L. McNamee, Griggs Bros. Twohy
Bros. & Co., Schierman & Co., Bald
win & Herrmeyer, Potts Bros. Hoxsie
Jaggar & Gilbert, Charles McIlrath.
II. A. Schulz, George G. Harper,
Quackenboss & Harlow, J. II.
HulIsiek & Son, Fink & McCauIey,
Smith & Ashby, Menk Brothers,
George w. Martin & Co., Jerrad &
DeCamp, H. \. Schultz, f. r. Ster-
RAFT, w. A. Van Slyke & Co.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
FREE TRADE.

The reduction of internal revenue
and the taking off of revenue stamps
from Proprietary Medicines, no doubt
has largely benefited the consumers
as well as relieving the burden of
home manufacturers. Especially is
this the case with Green's August
Flower and Boschee's German Syrup,
as the reduction of thirty-six cents
per dozen, has been added to increase
the size of the bottles containing these
remedies, thereby giving ono-fith
more medicine in the rs cent size. The
August Flower for Dyspepsia and
Liver Complaint, and the German
Syrup for Cough and Lung troubles,
have perhaps, the largest sale of any
medicines in the world. The advan-
tage of increased size of the bottles
will be greatly appreciated by the
sick and afflicted, in every town AMI
village III civilized countries. Sample
bottles for 10 cents remain the sam,
size. Amos
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
MENU.
DAY, DEC. 25, 1886.

MENU.
soUP-New York Counts; Chickens Broth ,
with Rabies.
FIsH-Baked Lake Trout, Spanish Fashion;
Lyonnaise Potatoes.
BoILED-Sugar Cured Ham; Corned Beef.
ROAsr-Tame Goose, Sage Dressing; Saddle
of Venison, Currant Jelly; Ribs o (
Beef, with Drowned Potatoes; Young
Turkey, Stuffed, Cranberry Sauce;
Loin OF Beef, Loin of Pork, Apple
Sauce.
ENrREEs-Pear Fritters, California Wine
Sauce; New England Chicken Pie;
Peach Charlots, a Ia Merange; Esclo-
1oped Oysters, Boston Baked Beans.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Mashed; Stewed
Tomatoes; Hubbard Squash; String
Beans; Sugar Corn.
RELIsHEs-Durkey Challenge Sauce; Tomato
Catsup; Sweet Tomato Pickles;
Crabapple Pickles; English Mustard;
Cucumber Pickles; Chow Chow;
Celery.
PAsTRY-Cream Pie; Pineapple Pie; Mince
DEss sERT-Christmas Plum Pudding, Brandy
Sauce; Lady Cake; Lemon Cake;
Buford Cake; Vanilla Ice Cream; /;
Mixed Nuts; London Layer Raisins;
Apples; Tea; Coffe; Chocolate; Cheese
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

"In July there was a convention Of
glass blowers at Atlantic City, n. j.,
and during the session a resolution
was adopted aboIishing the apprentice
system in glass-factories. The matter,
of itself, ha, perhaps ANAL impOr-
tance; but it is significant Of the ten
dency of the labor movement. and it
has all interest beyond the narrow
boundaries of the glass industry, for
similar action has already been taken
by other trades. The point involved
is just this: men who are earning
their bread at skilled labor, formally
declare that no American boy shall
be allowed to acquire the skill re-
quired to perform that labor. They
turn their backs OH the five or six
millions of young men and boys in
this country, and deny their right to
become expert mechanics. The pur-
pose, of course, is to make skilled la
bOr scarce, and so to keep up wages.
The result Is to exclude the young
from the chance to earn good wages,
to force many of them into idleness,
and to tempt others into crime.
Against such q system, the people OF
the country have a right to make
vigorous protest. 1t is a matter that
affects society at large. 1t touches
directly, every man who has children,
and, Indirectly, every human being
from the lowest to the highest. The
right of boy to learn any honest
trade that he wants to learn is
positively indisputable; and to this
is Joined the clear right of every en-
ployer to take boy into his shop to
help him to acquire knowledge and
skill. The denial of these rights 10y
a trades union is tyranny, and II
ought to be resisted to the last ex-
tremity. We assert that the solitary
chunce of the success of the labor
movement, so called, lies in its
obedience to the requirements of
justice. When it sets Justice at de-
f1ance, it is doomed. The people of
this country are not going to permit
any body of men to trample the most
ordinary human rights under their
t."-Textile Record.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

R.C. Jefferson arrived from st Paul
last week.
Miss Lilly Knott is in town visiting
with friends.
Fred Bunnell visited st. Paul for n
few days last week.
DR.. Phalon spent Christmas Mt his
home in Fergus Falls.
A. F. Kelley, Minneapolis, WAS in
town on Thursday last.
T. II. Otsthun, Glenwood, WAS in
town last Wednesday and Mt the
Metropolitan.
s. II. Hudson, Benson, was in town
yesterday and made the TRIBUNE II
pleasant call.
Miss Cell Gibson, of st. Paul, Is
spending her vacation with Mrs. G.
L. Gibson In Morris.
VIM. Riordon, of Hancock, was in
town on Friday last and made the
TRIBUNE IL pleasant call.
Mrs. VIM. 0, Brien, of the town Of
Stevens, left on Monday night for
visit to relatives and friends i'll Wis
consin.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

At meeting of the Morris Lodge,
A. o. U. w. last evening the follow
ing officers were elected for the COM
ing year:
NJ. W.-O. c.. Hanson,
Foreman-J. D. Gillespie,
Overseer-A. E. Anderson,
Recorder-E. w. Randall,
Financier-W. w. Coats,
Receiver-N. A. Nilsson,
Guide-J. E. DanielsOn,
|. W.-M. 0. Flatner.
o. VT. Torgrenson,
Rep. to G. ii. D. Good,
AIternate-H. l.. Hulburd.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
Rendsyille.

Sleighing Is good and people are ell
joying it.
The MEN Of this town, are hauling
their winters wood from Alexandria
woods, as usual.
E. P. Lightbourn started for st. Paul
last Thursday.
Mrs. e. G. Van Horn and family
haye gone to the cities to spend some
weeks with friends and relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. e. Walker spent
Christmas with their relatives i'm the
town of Morris.
Quite u number Of persons were ell
tertained by Mr.. and Mrs. J. Borrill
Christmas.
Miss Lucy Davidson is spending
the holidays with her parents.
The school in district No. 33, closed
Friday.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. Bangle, are re-
joiclng over the arrival of little son,
Sunday evening. PHOENIX.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
GLENWOOD.

NEW YEARS, 1887.
Times flies on with rapid pace,
From the past that ne'er returns.
Many end their mortal race,
While the sun in brilliance beams,
Undimished in its light,
Seeming never TO grow old,
Yielding'only to the night,
Smiles askance at winter cold,
TIL he mounts the skies again
When returns the welcome spring
Till In summer, flowers unfold,
AS the birds their sonnets sing,
While he pours his warming rays,
Over all the smiling land,
Giving US the heightened days,
And the harvest promise grand.
With these glorious prospects near
Welcome we the glad New Year.
A, c. l.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
Reduction in Price.

From the time of the founding or
| the TRIBUNE, there has been q grad
| ual and constant increase in Its sub
scription list and now the list Is OF sur
ficient proportions to warrant re-
duction in price. We, therefore. make
the reduction. Hereafter, to all who
pay strictly in advance, the TRIBUNE
will be sent for $50 per yesr, instead
of $500 rs heretofore. We expect
this low price to make the paper more
popular than ever and to receive
many additions to our list In the
near future. AS In the past.
the TRIBvNE will make especially of
local news and will be made worth
many times its cost to all who have
any intere whatever in this country.
The year just closing has been an
important one IN the history of this
county. There is hardly farmer in
the county but what finds himself in
Il better condition financially than he
was one year ago. Crops have been
exceptionally good, prices are up to
the average and there hare been no
failures in anything. There is more
and better quality OF live stock than
ever before; there are more buildings
and fences and better roads and on
every hand are evidences OF prosperity
Then, too, the year has seen the COM
ing i'm of considerable numbeE OF
well-to-do new settlers who have
bought, settled upon and improved
land that has hitherto been vacant. |
OF course these things have had an
effect upon all real estate aud a de-
cided advance In price is noticeable.
Taking all things into consideration,
there is every reason for residents |
feeling satisfied with the rapid pro-
gress, made toward the ultimate de- |
velopement of Stevens county during |
the year 1886.
A copy of the Post has been returned |
to lis with q few lines Of IL display ad- |
VcTtlSeLlcuI euClUbSu III leu AlACa1 AAN |
opposite is written the question "do
YOU believe this?" There is no name
on the paper to identify the interroga-
tor, and without Incorporating our
opinion in Il heavy editorial, we will
merely state, that there is no law Of
journalism written or implied, social,
political, moral or religious which
requires a newspaper man to believe
Cr disbelieve the statements made in
the advertising columns Of his paper.
The advertiser pays for the space his
occupies, and he Is
presumed to blow his own horn as
loud as he pleases. When the editor
excludes from his columns all adver-
tisements of All impure, or libelous
character his responsibility ceases.
Even the enlightened public senti-
nent of the nineteenth century does
not exact more, or require him to
place the stamp of his approval or dis
upon the statements of his
hundred and one advertisers. The
expressed in an ADVERTISE
ment are the advertisers and not the
editor's.- Post.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

The annual meeting of the Stevens
County Farmers Alliance will he
held ut the court house, OH Saturday,
Jan. 6th 1887 at one o'clock, sharp.
At this meeting the officers for the
ensuing year will be elected and
other important business will be
transacted. 1t is there fore of i'm
pOrtance that all members be present.
The voting members will he all Of
ficers and one delegate from each
subordinate Alliance. All Alliance
members and friends are cordially
invited TO be present.
l.. J. ScHLATTMAN.
este Secretary.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
METROPOLITAN HOTEL,

There is u new cook at the Metro
politan Hotel. Probably this cook is
the most competent one that has ever
been i'm a hotel In Morris. To show
the work of the new cook and how
sumptuously the guests of that hotel
are provided for we publish a sample
b Il Of fare:
CHRISTMAS DAY, DEC. 25, 1886.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
MONEY TO LOAN

At low rates of interest.
County, Town and School Orders
bought.
Farms for sale on long time and lib
erai terms.
Farms to let OH reasonable terms.
Town property for sale.
Houses to let.
Insure your property with us.
Give US Il call, as we know we can
give you satisfaction.
The STEVENS COUNTY ABsT. & r. E..
AGENCY.
Of1ice-First National Bank Build
ing, Morris, MIMI.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

Remember hat all we ask Is that
you call, examine our goods and get
prices. | after you do this, we cant
sell you what you need, we will find
no fault at your going elsewhere.
III. B, WOLFF,
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

Notice Ii hereby given that I have
this day given my two sons, Robert
r. and George F. Houston their time
and that I will no longer be respon-
sible for any debts they may contract
or claim any interest in their earnings.
25t3 JOHN A. HOUSTON.
Morris, Minn. Dec. %, 1885.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
Sunday evening

DIR. Morse, physician at MAJ rine
Hospital, Baltimore, Md. found Red
Star Cough Cure II harmless and most
effective remedy in the cure OF coughs.
He recommends it especially for
Children, who are irritable and obsti-
nate, as pleasant to take aud prompt
in its effect. Price, twenty-five cents.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
E0R SA E

'ine = =. i of see. 10. T. 1913. r. AZ,
rohtaiiltug i5j acres. Situated II
miles rom Morris and S miles from
Hancock Price $500; 5000 down and
balance on time.
Address. G. f. SMITH,
2 mo. Sioux Falls, ID. Il.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

IL Is gratifying To note the in"r"a"-
ing zest with which our American
people are learning to celebrate the
holiday par excellence of the Year
Other holidays have their attractions; !;
butChristmas is the summing up of
them all. Its observance has become
beautiful exhibition of all that is
choicest and most distinct i'll oar
modern Cnristian civiliZt ttirn. II
men and women have amy virtues,
any humane,or generous instincts, ANY
intimate courtesy, any latent regard
t": their fellows and associates, any
capacity for tenderness and KIND
illness, Christmas brings the good
quality to the sur ace -Minneak kOlis
Tribune.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

IA most extraordinary and absolute
cure for rheumatism and other bodily
ailments is st. Jacobs Oil" says Hon.
James Horlan, ex-Vice-Chancellor,
Louisville, KY.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
NOTICE..

Regular Stockholders meetings OF
Morris Loan and Building Associa-
ton, will be held at Seeretarys office.
Monday Jan. 3rd. 1887 at 1880 P. NJ.
sharp.
P. A. MCCARTHY, Secretary.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

"Athlophoros gives perfect sa;is-
faction. 1t has helped anI cured
some where all other remedies have
tailed to do amy good" is ti" report
or Dullam Bro, druggists, ." Flint
Mlch., on the great rheumatic and
neuralgia rcn,edy's work. d.
Morris tribune., 1886-12-29

LOST-A brown and white setter
pup, about six months old. Answers
to name Bismarck" The finder will
be suitably rewarded by returning the
same to
5Ot3 Fritz RT1cKINT1N.