The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-03-31

JOKING HAS ITS DRAWBACKS.
A New York HumOrist Falls Foul
of a Strange New Jersey
Audience.


II confess that when man in my
line seriously sits down to measure the
length, breadth, and exact number OF
cubic inches to a joke, he comes TO the
conclusion that joking by contract has
its drawbacks. So spoke Marshall z.
Wilder, the humorist, after his recent
trip to Tuckertop, n. j., where he en-
ployed his varied talents in the endeavor
to convulse with laughter an audience
composed OF few hundred farmers and
villagers. He labored under some dis
advantages on tie occasion The mem-
bers of the reception committee who
met him at the railroad depot impressed
upon him the fact that many of the per-
Sons to whom he was to address him
self were church members OF the strict
est type tofwhom anything approaching
to leTlty would be au objectionable Of
Tense. They told him, too, that Others
of the audience were worldly minded
people who had been recently gathered
TO the fold, and that they would lose
caste with the congregation if they were
seen laughing immOderately. Here
was a state of things:
We'll" laughed Wilder. II was in
for it and could not shirk the response
billy. Half dozen local people got
on at the station this side of the town
to attend the entertainment, and | con
fess l had my misgivings, for never a
ghost of a smile tiickered on their faces.
The night was chilly, and as | stepped
on the platform, saw couple OF tg
ures looking anxiously into the faces of
the arrivals. They were the members
OF the reception Committee, but they
looked like pair of undertakes.
"'I'll be darDed if he's come said
one; what are we agwine to do. broth
err
"'Maybe he's gone to the next station
by mistake, was the grave response.
II took in the situation at once pur-
saed Wilder, land 1 thought I'd have
my own joke If it wasn't on the pro-
gramme. Away drove the committee
in buggy. and, stepping into the stage
closely muffiled. followed. The buggy
had the start of me by about ten MIN
utes, and when I arrived at the hall
heard the loud voice of the chairman
making an apology for my non-appear-
ance. Going around by the back door.
persuaded small boy to cali him off
the stage. As he came out he scrutin-
lied my diminutive figure and exclaim-
ed:
who on earth be you?"
my name is Wilder-Marshall P.
Wilder, 1 replied.
Then where's your father?'
"'He's in New York, guess
IAN where's the humorist?'
I'm the humorist.
"Wall, I'll be gol darned If this don't
beat punkins = and he burst into such
an uncomfortable fit of laughter that
thought he'd never stop. Just you
hold on a mint while fix things
Then he rushed on to the platform and
raising his hands as though about 10
pronounce the benediction, he said in
loud voice:
Ladies and gentlemen. the humor-
isl is come He couldn't get any fur
Their for he was seized with such spasm
Of laughter that began to feel the sup
ply would give out before l could come
to his relief Let's Introduce you
properly he added, and Selling me by
the arm, he almost dragged me before
the audience and then reared:
"'This be the humorist.'
Some laughed and others looked in
credulous, but a boy in front, who was
apparently contrasting my small figure
with the tall, bony attitude of the chair
man. called out, Don't step on him, or
you'll break him up"
Mr.. Wilder thinks there is good ma
terial for laughter in the town of Tuck
erton. but it requires little fertlliZing
and cultivation. Il, thinks that in
second 1r third attemYt he may be able
to make some of the deacons and SIS
tiers smile.-N. Y. Mail and Express.