Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1886-03-22
gaifg gress mad 9akotaiaa
ALITERARY FACTORY.
WARES oFTHE RHYMEsTER, ORATOR
AND L~ETTER-WRITER TO ORDER.

AND LETTER-WRITER TO ORDER.
The Inner Workings of the Bureau Re
vea1ed by the Boss of the Machine
What the Poetic Department Compre-
hends-Orations and Correspondence.
A flavor of decay ~suffuses the hallway
where it is nailed, peeking out from q cluster
of tin signs-a modest placard, somewhat
taine and milaewed, but struggling still to
make the announcement that withia is done
literary work of all kinds, pamphlets, speeches,
poetry, and that private correspondence is a
speciality. TIL light in the hallway shows q
number Of doors opening on the passages, and
above each a large number on a metal strip
Of economic dimensions. A reporter who
read the Alternative inventory of the depart
ments Of letters to which the inmate of room
IS devoted himself was led to visit that
apartment.
There was a figure at the desk, and the re-
porter aI,aost backed out and abandoned his
investigation at sight of it. For he was not
the kind of a literary worker he calculated on
finding, but a tall person with the impertur-
bable face of an antique sculpture and a pro-
fusion Of very black and very oily ring
let's. A woman it was, and one who did
not seem ~strikingly adapted for the pamphlet,
speech, and poetic business, however well she
mightd do at private correspondence. Th re-
porter felt somewhat relieved when, on de-
claring that he Yves IN quest of the boss
literary worker and head paniandrum of the
bureau, q little door he had not noticed was
opened and a gentleman was disclosed in q
sort of lighted closet struggling with some
manuscript. BE was a middle-aged gentle
man in on alpaca coat, with an oppressiyely
] solemn. owl resting its ieaden bulk on his
| black scarf.
He motioned the reporter into his den, and
then the gentleman with the emblem of wis
dom said, s%milingly:
"You would like to put something in
writing?p
The reporter intimated that that was his
mission.
hHumphl Private in its characters" asked
he of the owl. swell, any information you
may give will be received in confidence
and
aone moment,'' interrupted the reporter.
aThere you hit it. Information! But I've
not come to give any. That's just what l am
here to GET
THE WORKINGS OF THE UREAU
ooh, l tsee,' said the other. "No secret
about the bureau-that is, its workings-how-
ever silent we may be about the personnel of
our patrons"
"By the by, who are they generally9"
every frequently ladies, My assistant is
there to receive them and learn their bust
ness,s and he motioned toward the outer
apartment. "It is surprising he went on,
show many ladies there are whe are quite in
|telligent and even appear to be persons of
culture, but who are utterly unable to carry
on any correspondence requiring delicacy.
We undertake to prepare their letters for
them, of whatever kind. Some of them have
long business letters, some ordinary COM
munieations to friends, some epistles Of a
more sentimental kind. Their there are bust
ness people who want advertisements pre-
pared or circulars got up and some who issue
regular periodical pamphlets. All of that
kind of work we undertake.
what does the poetic department compre-
henda' the reporter inquired.
Ali that is becoming more patronized than
you would imagine. There are quite a rum
Der of people who want verses for one thing
or another. There are patent medicine and
, perfume people. There are milliners and
} ailors and shoemakers and tradesmen OF
every kind who advertise their wares in verse.
1t is attractive, and if you get up catchy lines
uJeJ ttlAS 1t tllGlS. LIT liittiiy ltuliSo ilii
gentlemen in society who pretend to a culture
they have not got. They sometimes commit
themselves to writing a sentiment, or an
! ~acrostic, or a piecef for an album, or something
of the kind. Well, the bulk of them could
hardly rhyme 'dove*to love- and fill up the
| intervening spaces with words that NEAR
anything. So we come to the rescue ant
) provide them with verses adapted for album
letter, recitation. or any emergency which il
social life might arise"
aDo not you find it 8 little difficult to give
some subjects a appetite fayor' Isn't it hard t.
. yoke Pegasus, SO to speak, to all kinds o.
!, topics"
"Not at all. Why, we have a lot of stock
poems on hand that fit mostly everything. i
. is only now and then we need to prepare thu
custom-made article. You see, nearly every
one who wants a poem for social purposes ha.
some girl in his eye he wantsit written up to
1t may be intended for album OF valentine Oh
presentation. It's all one. There's always {
girl in the case, and all that's needed is tx
makesthe poem match her complexion.
"But nave you not to express diiferen
sentifnents"
sOnly two kinds-the fever heat love senti
ment and the discreetly friendly idea
lsPEEcHEs, oRATJoNs AND CORRESPONDENCE
@You prepare speeches, too2s
"Lots of them-political, religious, scien
tiiic, or p~ost-prandial, as the case may be
We are prepared to furnish them for all oc
i~casions, from a congressional discussion of Til,
tariff to a college commencement day. There
is d choice collection already prepared and OF
hand for public dinners. The season fol
them is approaching. Under the head Of re
~sponses to The day we celebrate Our sister
lcnniafiac ! and tFba 1ndinc J xya have nm nS.f,,t
ment of all sizes fitted for any emergency
eBut how can they be used on, special oc
casionsp
Nothing easier. We prepare the frame
work-a neat introduction, sprightly but gen
teral, a few anecdotes of proper maturity
references to friendly feelings i'll the past, ant
hopes of their continuance. That is all tina
is required. That is all there is in most o
these speeches anyway. If there is any loca
color or individual references to be made W,
throw them in when ordered or leave til,
speaker to supply them if he thinks he is able
It's all very simple"
"But you do not grapple with weight,
topics!"
@Donit wei The heavier the better. w
meyer shirk q scientific paper if we nave tn
date. Anything that the c~ycloDedia or circu
lating library can reach we are prepared for
In fact, such work is comparatively easy
The hardest nuts to crack are commencement
day o~rations. As soon as a collegian loom
up VIZ have to hunt for ponderous hteratur
and the deepest thinkers"
aPriyate correspondence is yoiir specially
l believed" said the reporter, and he regarde
a lot of envelopes pigeonholed.
lit is" said the other, pushing 4he embler
OF wisdom into a more marked prominence j