Morning journal and courier., 1886-05-22
BROAD.

Rev. Phillips Brooks is so broad a church man that when he rises in horse car to offer his seat to lady, he invariably makes room for two.-Springfeld Union. What adds to the unpopularity of the cy clone is that, while it blows away almost ev erything farm, it has never been known to take the mortgage. Chicago Tribune.
 'sTime expired, man ditto" was the reason country postmaster gave for notifying publisher to discontinue sending his paper to certain address.-Palner (Mass.) Journal. We have lawyer in this county who sev- eral years ago in the course of plea said: "Gentlemen of the jury, you should bear in mind the Lords prayer, which says, Do unto others as you would that they should do to you. .'"-Cooperstown Republican. It now appears from the title of Miss Phelps new novel that she had deep laid plan of committing burglary in the other world from the time when she wrote her first book She began with s'The Gates Ajar;" then she swung "The Gates Wide Open," and now she has actually landed her "Bur- glars in Paradise. ."-Boston Post
 First Anarehist-Property is robbery. It is glaring injustice for one man to have million and another man nothing
 Second Anarchist-True Everybody ought to have $f, 900 and no more. =-f-.
 First Anarehist-No, no. I put the figure at $10, 900, because that's what P.n worth. Hang it, man, you wouldn't want to make beggars out of us, would you?-Ph Philadelphia Call,
 One of the most prominent dairymen of Or ange county, N. Y., has spring on his farm in which for years he has kept a fine brook trout. The dairyman is 8 most upright and conscientious man, and was grieved tC get the following note from a New York man: stThe trout you sent me in one of the cans of milk was very fine, thanks; but wasn't that queer way to send it?"-Forest and Stream.
 little boys, Matthew and Johnny, who have been duly instructed as to the exceeding wickedness of swearing. But the seed seems to have fallen on stony ground, for, as their father was getting an armful of wood, he overheard on the other side of the woodpile the following conversation: "Oh, Johnny said Matthew, in coaxing but somewhat awe struck tone, "1ess swear" "Less! cried little Johnny, courageously. There was pause during which Matthew appear ed to be considering how to do it. Then he called out in ferocious accents: "1 swear" "Tho do r." piped Johnny.-Detroit Free Press.
 George is vewy quick at wepartee," said Charles Augustus to friend, ':he's deueed ly orwiginal, don't you know?"
 "Aw!" remarked his friend, '1s he! nevah caught on, you know"
 "Yes, he's deucedly quick at wepartee, says some deuced sharp things He made one of his bwilliant wemarks at the sacwed concert. He walked down the iasle to the fwont of the parquet, you know and George ne glected to take off his hat, don't you know. The usher came to him. and in beastly way told him to take off his hat, don't you know. George turned on him, and made wemark that quite paralyzed him, you know"
 "Aw, what did he sayT
 PWhV he wOSa m n his seat and look ing in terribly fierce way, he said 'Aw, you go to the deuce.' It was deucedly sharp, you see."
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