The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-07-16
SELECT READING.
AN EDITORS DREAM.
BY SCOTT WAY.

Once upon time village editor
sat iE his quiet sanctum indus,riously
petsuing the political editorials in his
daily city exchanges. At length that
which he read began to have lis legiti-
mate effect the editor nodded once,
twice, thrice his eyes closed, the city
daily fell from his nerveess fingers,
and three flies lit upon his bowed bald
head and balanced all, and swung cor
ners, and crossed over, and promen-
AIDED all around, to the music of the
rythmical editorial snore. The village
editor was asleep and, sleeping, thu
village editor dreamed
lie sat at his desk with weary fin
gers and aching head. The last local
item had gone into type,the last inside
reading notice had been set up, and
the youngest apprentice stood grimly
by, with lines of impatience upon his
brow and a daub of lux under his left
eye, waiting for more copy. Suddenly
there was step without, the door
opened, a man entered, and taking the
vacant chair in front of the editors
desk, to which the editor had politely
called his attention, and said
"My dear sir, my name is John w.
Smith. l am subscriber to your
paper, as you very well know, and BE-
ing IN town to-day l thought l would
take the opportunity to call and tell
you that | like your paper all but one
thing: You don't print enough mat
ter on the tariff question. Poetry and
stories and funny paragraphs and local
items may do well enough TO fill up a
paper with in ordinary times, but just
now the country is awake to the tariff
question, and if you want to keep your
paper alive you've got to give your
subscribers light on the tariff. You
should not have less than three columns
OF editorial and five columns of ex-
tracts on the tariff every issue. That's
all I've got to say, and hope you'll
bear it in mind. BY the way, l owe
you for two years subscription, and
one of these days I'll call in and pay
it. Don't forget to let yourself loose
on the tariff /; good-by.'
AS the man who wanted more light
on the tariff passed out, little ner-
vous looking person came in and took
the vacant chair.
"Ah," he said, with a little smile
that didn't look strong enough to be
out, "ah, my dear man, see you are
absorbed in thought, as an editor al
ways should be. And that reminds me
that you are neglecting-amost totally
neglecting science. Too much politics,
too much of politics, my dear man |;
your paper will never grow in circula-
tion while you neglect science for poll
tics. You should devote not less than
four columns week to science. That
all | came in to say. Be in some day
and pay you my subscription. Good
day; but don't forget to give us plenty
of science"
The footsteps of the man who want
ed science had not gone beyond the
editors hearing when a third visitor
entered and took the vacant chair as if
he were accustomed to Sit in it.
81 am sorry to notice that you are
neglecting politics just at this impor-.
tant period, ,"he said kindly but gravely.
"You should strive to keep the vital
principles of our party constantly be-
fore the people. like your paper in
all but its lack in this respect, land some
day, perhaps at the beginning of next
year, | will subscribe for it. I see it
now every week at Browns office. If
you would write about five columns of
fresh political editorials every week
you'd see your paper going right up in
circulation. That's what l told Brown
yesterday, and he agreed with me. A
story and scientific article occasion
| ally and little local matter and some
marriage and death notices to please
the women are all well enough, but l
can tell you that country paper to
amount to anything, and have an in
tluence, has got to be full on political
matters. That's all l want to say now.
When you want any points on politics
I'll be glad to help you out. And, by
the way don't forget that I'm a candi-
date for the Legislature good day
The next visitor who took the va
cant chair that sat in front of the
village editors desk spoke as follows
81 stepped in to-day, sir, to tell you
that do not want your paper any
longer. In some respects it is a good
paper, bat you do not print enough
news matter. You should have full
page of news at least. l don't care
anything about your protective tariff
and your tariff for revenue only, or
anything of that sort. l want a full
account of the murders and suicides
and railroad collisions and divorce
cases, Don't send me the paper any
longer. I'll come in and pay you what
| owe you when | have sold my corn /;
good day"
And then there was light step at
the door,and a person wearing severe
countenance and shawl came in and
took the vacant chair.
81 am very sorry" he said, in meas
ured tones, and with fixed and criti-
cal stare at the end of the editor's''nose
81 am very sorry to notice that you
are giving in your columns SO little
attention to the cause of Prohibition
the noble cause of Prohibition. You
must rouse yourself upon this great
question and give your readers a page
of it weekly. l am not subscriber to
your paper, but borrow it every week
of my neighbor and l loan him the
Banner Of light in exchange. So
you will observe that have been one
of your faithful readers and | know
| just where you fall short of making a
good newspaper. l will leave you a
few tracts from which you should make
liberal extracts from time to time.
You will notice that this one, "Dash
the Cup Away !" is written by myself.
You are at liberty to print it in full.
And when | come across anything Par.
ticularly good in the columns of Ban
ner of Light I'll cut it out and send
it around TO you. You have a grand
opportunity to make your paper grow
in circulation and influence, and hope
you will come boldly to the front on
the right course and no longer continue
| tn devote yOur yaluahla anaoa m trivia