The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1886-05-09
CONGRESSIONAL HUMOR.


and in his remarks referred to Repre-
sentative Norwood of Georgia in no
complimentary language. We annex
extracts from the concluding portion
of Mr.. Norwood's rejoinder, with the
comment that not since Proctor
Knott's celebrated Duluth speech has
any effort in the House exhibited SO
much humor, and sarcasm, or been re-
ceived with 50 much favor in that
body:
The literature Of Scniiauu has fur
ni@hed us with an example that is a
prototype, To some extent, ut The gems
tleman from Iowa. uThe WiZa;d OF
the North" exhaust. u his genius in
producing the characte: OF Captain
Dti&rtty, whose chief delight and la-
hur We're to tish, first upuns one side
aud then upon the other, with equal
va'or, fidelity, and Enthusiasm.
[--Laus liter.
But, Mr.. Chairman truth is stranger
than fiction and the character pro6ucsd
by Walter Scott is more than realized
in the character OF the gentleman from
Iowa, because he can do what no foXs
hunter has ever been able to do, that
is, to ride upon both sides Of a sapling
at the same time, and to draw his
sword in defense of both sides of his
country. as he avows he did in the
late war. [Renewed laughter.l
More than that the gentleman, like
genuine "Wash buckler," keeps up
the fight after the enemy has disaps
peared; and like the bully described
in "Georgia Scenes' who was caught
in the woods down upon his knees,
swearing and rearing and gouging the
earth with his thumbs, the gentleman
from Iowa keeps up the fight and
makes his solo performance here in
order to demonstrate how he :smout
have tit' [Renewed laughter and APP
| plause.l >: y
1 desire to state here that l have
tnade q diagnosis OK the case of the
gentleman from Iowa, and the concIu-
sion to which l have arrived is that
he is afflicted with a disease very cons
mon but almost exclusively confined
to public men, the name of which was
never known until discovered in the
state Of Georgia. This discovery was
| interesting. An old lady was sick and
her husband had called several physi-
clans TO see her who treated her WithS
! out success. Finally a young friend
Of mine who had just commenced
practice was called in, and and under
standing the situation as soon as he eN
amincd the case, he told the husband
that he understood it perfectly. He
knew the character OF the disease at
sight, and told the husband that the
co.c pOpMi had got down on her dia-
phragtn. [Great laughter and ap-
| plause
The gentleman from Iowa has a
! very marked and a very extreme at
| tack of the "ror pOuMii." Renewed
| laughter. But III order that wc may
understand the case better 1t should be
borne in mind that man is composed
of two parts and al! other elements en-
tering into his composition may be
resolved into these two. One OF these
| is a love of himself, the other love
of his country. In order to shorten
the formula we will call one selfish
ness and the other patriotism. AS
long as tho two qualities are in cqui-
poise the subject is perfectly healthy;
but whenever selilshness begins tC
get Il little uppcrmost il draws vitality
from the other side and the patient
becomes very weak, the head becomes
very much enlarged while the thor
acic region is very much emaciated
That is the condition OF The gentle.
men from Iowa. Renewed laughter.
Ills case is one Of the worst | have
ever examined. Laughter and ap
plause.1 lie has what is called cerebr'
elcphanliasis. Loud laughter ant
applause And this disease has in
creased until the patients brain
affected. / have before me here IA re
) cord that gives some of the symptom
of patient suffering from that diseas
= when it assumes the acute intlamma
tory cerebro elcphantiasis form. re