davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
A Railroad in a Forest.
San Francisco Post.

You never know or feel how utterly
unpoetical and practical a railroad is I'M
til you come across it in the middle of a
forest. Nature abhors a straight line.
and everything beside it seems to protest
against that double straight line of iron
that looks all the harder and more defiant
when the rails take the sunbeams and
knock the sentiment out of them and
turn them into hard metallic light The
trees seem to do their best to ignore the
railroad in a diguifed way, as becomes
the monarchs of the forest. The shrub
berry hangs over. not with the wooing or
caresslng movement that it has when it
makes love to the brook below, but with
kind of mixture of fear and anger, as a
dog treats a suspicious stranger. The
path crosses 1t, pursues its crooked way
IN and out and around trees and bushes,
and wanders off erratically into the forest
or up the hillside, but overy now and
again it turns toward the railroad track
as if it had quite forgotten it, and stops
abruptly with a kind of disgust, as if it
said, "What, you here again. and goes
back into the woods again. Then the
engine comes along. Its sound is weird
and worldly in the sacred groves; its
smoke never seems to penetrate the foil
age, but barred out, and nature seems to
breathe again when the train, rushing as
IL IL mad as little love for nature as nature
mas Tor 1t, passes on to the open plain
and the populous city.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
Buying His Own Wool.
Yhelling Intelligencer.

Tom Perkins, the well-knOwn barber,
tells funny story of a little deal in wool
he recently engineered. One day he was
enjoying the fresh air at the park, when
he noticed pet sheep in the deer keep.
wearing a very heavy fleece. It was a
warm day, and Tom pitied the animal,
and asked superintendent Kreiger why
he did not shear it. Kreiger said the be-
lOnged to Mr.. Hentr HOrkheimer, but
that it ought to be sheared, and if Per-
kins would take Off its wool he could have
the fleece.
Perkins saw a chance for little funny
speculation, and he cut the wool off care
fully and brought it to town. He took it
to HOrkheimer Brothers, and approach
ing Mr.. Henry Horkheimer, threw down
the wool, and said: "WhaG will you give
me for that?"
''Hello, Tom" said Mr.. Horkheimer;
Egone into wool now?"
Eyes; I'll do anything to earn an hon
est penny"
Mr.. Horkheimer felt the woollooked att
pronounced it rarely fine fleece indeed,
weighed it, and gave Perkins 81 70 for
the fleece.
A few days afterward he met Mr.. Kreig-
er and asked if that sheep did not need
shearing.
'On, no." was the response, ''Tom
Perkins was out there the other day, and
I gave him the wool to take it off,
Mr.. Horkheimer said that was all right.
When he next saw Perkins he asked if he
had any more wool to sell.
NO." said Perkins, laughing, ''but the
next time [ go out to the park [ will
bring you in nice sheep at a low
figure.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
German Universities.

One DR.. Flach has been trying to bring
a honet's nest about his ears. Himself, a
German, has written book venturing to
pick holes in those beaux ideals the uni
versities of his fatherland. And if half Of
of what he says is true, even other Euro
pean and American universities may ve11-
ture to hold up their heads in the pres
ence of Jerna and Gottlingen. Of course
it is with bated breath that foreigners
may speak of Germany in intellectual
matters; but when it is a German himself
who speaks, we may venture upon def
erential echo. According to Mr.. FIach,
then, the universities are not in the first
place, examples of the doctrine thatlea
ing prevents manners from becoming
ferOciOus. Mature doctors have been SO
long IN the habat of calling one another
in Latin-asinine idiots, that their pupils
think abuse the proper style of a scholar.
The general bullying tone is accompanied
by its natural concomitants. The profess
sOr will do his best to pluck the scholars
of his rival, and specialism is carried so
far that the road to success is to study
an examiners hobby, beyond which he
never travels-Or, oddly enough, to make
love to his daughter, and if possible to
marry her. Indeed, according to DR..
Flach, the universities are simply methods
of petticoat government, intrigue, and
worse; while the students clubs are secret
institutions, under which the life of an in
offensive student often becomes torture
to him ,on account of some imaginary Of
Tense, Or even caprice of the president, of
which the victim is never even Informed
Prosecuted by his comrades, plucked by
rival professors, and worried by the fas
cination of rival professoriums, the life
of that Legendary hero, the German stu
dent,would not seem all pipes and beer.
And it is much to be feared both that
there is considerable truth in the charges
and that the German in general is apt to
set fancy value upon his peculiar me-
thOds of developing the human brain.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
C0NUNDRUNIS.
IN Kansas.

Why is man who can't learn by ex-
perience like laurel? Because he is an
rgreen.-Goodalls Sun.
When is it that man feels at home
and yet doesn't feel at home? When he
gets in at a. m. and has to grope along
the wall to find the Burlington
Free Press.
What is the difference between start
ing new newspaper and a hungry
tramp? One fills long felt want; the
other wants a long-felt fiu.-Newman
Independent.
Does a photographer stake" mega
tive or "make" a negative? In other
words, when girl jilts fellow is he or
she photographer? We do not recall
conundrum which is obscura than this.
Lowell Courier.
Here is the latest conundrum:
Why is a spoonful of vinegar like a
colored boy?
Because it's little bit of vinegar.
It's rather tart but you'll see the point
if you look sharp.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12

said, in London swelldom, but here it is
comparatively new. 1t is the only thing
in the world that will safely, surely, and
quickly restore the normal equilibrium
of system upset by oVer-much of a
good time by the boys. 1t is pleasant to
take, perfectly harmless, and never fails,
even in the most hardened case. 1t has
none of the deletrous after-effects of
bromide and the other drugs usually APP
piled as nerve-soothers and constitutional
bracers. Another form of the same thing
is the calm cocktail, and this also is dis
pensed at the modifh bar.
There is only one objection to clam
juice-that is the peculiar smile that goes
with it. Nobody ever orders boiled clam
juice but a man that needs it, and man
who needs clam juice is in a condition to
be lrritated by knowing grin on
walters face. If the clam juice hotel can
only arrange to have the stuff served by
cast-iron walters, the demand for it is
bound to be immense.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
Honeymoon in a ROwboat.
Hartford Times,

A recently married couple from New
York greatly enjoyed novel and adven-
trous wedding trip in carrying out their
mutual taste for sailing. After the mar
rage ceremony they went on board a
New York steamer to Fall River, whence
they started alone on small schooner
rugged rowboat only IA feet long, and
crossed through different waters until
they reached Point Judith, which was
rounded in severe gale of wind and
rain. The little boat rocked and danced
over the rough waves in way to intimi-
date landswoman, but the fearless little
bride simply drew on her ulster over her
Witty nautical dress and enjoyed the fun.
They arrived in Hartford during this I'M
ique honeymoon, and were enthusiastic
cally greeted by the members of the Hart
ford Canoe Club, who afterward towed
the schooner rowboat containing the sea-
loving couple down the Connecticut river
by tugboat to the banks Oh their future
home.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12

"Where did you come from?" was his
reply, as he raised his head.
George, how did you come to this
Where is your money!"
'Gone," said Snyder, never attempting
to rise or shake hands, but working away.
Detective Archambaut, in repeating the
dialogue, said: Il never saw anything
like it in my life. That fellow sat there
iast as cool as if he had seen his wife yes
terday. He never asked where she was
going or where she had come from, but
just kept on at work and answered her
questions. When she turned to go he
never looked up. Just think of that man
there she said to me. I would never
have believed it. Poor fellow! If I had
money l would give it to him. That was
all. She went to her hotel, and last night
tosk a western train for her wrecked home
in Kansas
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
Mems NeckWear.
New York Times.

One reason why the making of mems
neckwear has become SO cheap is that
many married women and young girls of
fairly well TODD families wish to earn
something for pocket money, and, think
ing this light and not unpleasant work,
take it home and do it. They do not de-
pend upon that for their bread, and so do
not have the same reasons for trying to
uphold the price, which is now less than
half of what it was three years ago. The
women and girls who work at cravat-
making are generally Ct superior class,
mostly such as have seen better days, AID
are ill-ftted to battle for justice, or of
those who do not really need money and
do not realize what a dreadful struggle it
would be to live entirely from the product
of their work at this trade.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
An Act of Vandalism.
Pail Mall Gazette

An act of objectionable vandalism is
going to be committed if, as report says,
the old bridge ofAyr is to be demolished.
If, when Burns wrote the bridge of Ayr,
he could talk of the ''poor narrow foot
path of a street, where two wheelbarrows
tremble when they meet" 1t is not sur
prising that the stones are now dropping
from their places, and that the auld brig
is considered unsafe for traffic. But for
close on $50 years it has done work, and
that surely is long enough to have earned
the repose not of humiliation but of a
national monument. That "conceited
gowk," the new bridge, is still quite cap
able of carrying all who wish to cross the
Ayr, and it is difficult to understand what
imperative reason there can be for de-
stroying the ''brig of ancient Pictish race
the vera wrinkles gothic in his face. "And
besides its commemoration by the Ayr
shire poet the bridge has a romantic in
terest of its own, having, like che pyra-
mid Rhodopis, been built at the sole ex-
pense of a single lady, though tradition
variously describes her motives. So no
time should be lostin earnestly appealing
to the
Men, three parts made by tanors and by
BARRIERS,
Who waste your well-hained gear on id
new briggs and harbOrs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
An Arkansas Grammarian.
ArkanSaw Traveller

Old Pete's boy just returned home from
school. In relating an incident to his ia
Their he said
II saw the man.
whats dat? Come ober dat pint
ergin."
4 say that I saw the man and that
sHold on. Yer saw the man, eh?"
eyes sir.''
''Saw him?''
''That's what I said"
Il do think b'fo' de Lawd," the old man
said, "de mo- yer sends er niger ter
school de wus he gifts. Heah dat boy IS
been going ter school nearly five years,
and now he come and say dat he saw er
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
Wonderful Acting.
Life.

She (after a private theatrical enter
tainmen) How cleyerly the parts of
Romeo and Juliet were played, Ell, Mr..
Smith?
He-Very; almost equal to profession
al work.
She-Did you think the gentlemen and
lady who played the parts are husband
and wife?
He-No. You astonish me! Husband
and wife? Why, it was wonderful act
ing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12
A Specific for SweIled Heads.
New York Cor. Baltimore Herald

A fashionable hotel in an uptown re-
gion, where the facilities for obtaining
an enlargement of the head are more
ample probably than anywhere else in
the city, has given permanent place in
its bill of fare to boiled clam juice. The
secret of the potency of this preparation,
which is simply what its name calls it
the juice of the clam boiled until moder-
ately thick-has long been known, it is
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-08-12

man. All, Lawd, dar amt no use tryin'
ter Farm 'stranomy ter er niger. Why
doan yer go an say:I seed er ginnerman,'
say?'
Because that wouldn't by right"
Merry" speaking to his wife,, cham
me that plow-lins. Blame if he shall
slaughter his mudder tongue in no such, er
way. Oh, I ken beat all de schools in
Parnin' yer suthin'''
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15
The Formusa Tea Store.

FINE FLA.uRrD TEAS selected by myself,
at LOWEST PRICES.
FRESH ROASTED COFFEE DAlLY-extra
strcnrth
Alsn all kiu.'s of PURE s'JCEs. &c, for sale
ow b. ! & fEAN,
mh1S-lm No 9 north Royal st.
NEW rf.K- MENIE>~W have Just received
" large ami varied ;s,"rlm..'.t rf Wright's
celebrated Extract, Tor the handkerchief, which
we arc selling by the ounc" or bottle Among
the odors can be found Jockey Club, aiary Stuart
Violet. Stephanotis Lily of the Valley, &c. These
Extracts are without doubt the hest that are
manufactured For sale by
jan23 WARFlELD q HALL.
NOR SALE AT ss KING, COR. EoYAL ST.
Iron and Steel Cultivator Teeth OF assorted
sizes, Plow and Wagon Traces. Stage Traces,
Shoycls, Hoes, Rakes, Picks, Mattocks Forks,
Steel Plow Plates, Plow Bolts and other goods
suited to the season, ut low prices. wholesale and
retail
ap1 }. /. CREldhlo ION q ooN.
|,UTICURA PLASTERS-New and original,
" ard vastly superior to any other plaster for
DESTROYING pain wherever located or from what
ever cause produced together with all the other
Cutcura Preparations, Ointments, ResolTents,
Scans SC Just received at
WAKEFIELD & HALLS
am Corner Prince and Fairfax sts.
U1HE NEWEST STYLES OF CRAVATs just re-
i ccivcd at
mb5 AMOS B. sLAY6IAkER'S.
DUTTER, solid-pscked and choice, just re-
ID ceived by
mb04 j. c. MILBURN.
4 MOTHER NEW AND PRETTY LOT OF
n NECKWEAR just opened at
an12 AMOS B SLAYMAKER'S.
Jersey RIBBED HALF HOSE, white and col.
q ored at
ap12 AMOS b. SllA4hAkERS.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15
ALEXANDRIA, VA THURSDAY EVENING APRIL 5 1886
Alryaulrla Oazette.
PUBLISHED DAILY AND TRI- WEEKLY By
EDGAR WIDEN,

At The Ga=ette Building, Nos. 70 and 72 Prince st.
DAILY TREWEERLY.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15

INO THE EST OF OUR knowledge we are the
l. only house that keeps Misses Suede Gloves.
and having just received II doz we desire to call
attention to the fact, and announce that ladies
with small hands who are unable to be fitted in
81. and 5is in Ladies will find 51a, 5A, 8 and
81. in these, exactly what they want.
q doz Misses 3 and but. dressed and undress-
ed Suede Gloves, in Tans, Modes, Browns, Green
Gray and Opera shades. 3 but, worth 75c. only
% lnc per pair but. worth 81, only 75c. per
pair. This is an opportunity not to be neglected.
We have also received our "Perinot' Black real
Suede Gloves in plain and embroidered backs.
WOODWARD & LOTHR(IP
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15
ORE SUMMER EMBROIDERIEs.

NHORE SUMMER EMBROIDERIES.
Ecru Batstc, embroidered in cardinal, blue,
white and ecru.
3 inch Edgings 2Oc.
inch Flouncing, SOC.
II inch Flouncing. $1.15.
23 inch All-Ovcr, 50.
80 rch Ecru Batiste, embroidered in red and
blue. Only SOC. per yard.
80 inch White Batiste, embroidered in colors.
On,y SOC. per yard.
30 inch White Batistc, embroidered in cardinal
ani tan and blue and tan, Only T5c yer yard.
SO inch White Tunic Embroidery, 81 inches of
embroidery on one edge, inches on the other,
with inches of plain cloth between. 3 styles.
50. 1925 and $3.50 per yard.
80 inch Swiss Flounciug, embroidery q inches
deep. Only 81 lhc. per yard.
tSccond floor; take elevator.)
WOODWARD & LOTHROP.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15
DRY GOODS.
DARASOLS. PARASOLS

DARASOI-S! PARASOLSt
>atine Coechars light grounds, with black fig
"r,s. 81 each worth 81 %.
-ttne Coachcrs, in solid blue, garnet brown
and tan, 81 each, worth S1.25.
:ostne Coachcrs, light paragon frame fancy han
dies. solid colors, cream. cardinal, blue, brown,
tan and garnet. worth Sl.15, only 81 GS each.
New "Coaching,' Parasols, with long natural
handles, with double spring, making two styles
in one, very handsome, only $1.69 each
l'"ngne Psrasols paragon frames, lined through
on, i new shape, and very stylish, worth $3.50
only 50 % each.
i BIB Pongee parasols large natural wood
handles, silk lined, worth 81, only $3.50 each.
Canopy top Pongec Parasols, paragon frame,
lined with silk, particularly stylish, only $3.50
each.
"Nobby" Coaching Parasols, with patent spring,
fantastic handles, elegant variety Of colors, in
ring patterns, in shades to match the new dress
goods, only Sd each
Black Satin ParasGls with canopy top, silk
lined, long fancifully crooked handles, finished
with black satin bow. Actually worth S4. Only
So SO each.
Sclid and Fancy B-ocaded Colors, bordercd and
lace trimmed, canopy tops, natural woods and
fancy handles Prices from soc. to 81 each.
Black Silk Sun Umbrellas and Parasols spec
ialty. Lowest possible prices.
Second floor; take elevator
WOODWARD & LOTHROP.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15

At the Gazette Building, Nos. 70 and 72 Prince st.
DAILY TRI- WEEKLY
One year.....S6 90 One year............$4 90
Sir months.... ) 90 Sir months. 90
One month .......... so Three months..... 90
Al communications should be addressed to "Gasette,"
Alexandria, Ia.
Contract advertisers H not be ao,rcd to erceed their
space, 'css the erccss is paid for at transient rates,
and under circumstances ,ciu they be alowed TO
adrertisc other than their legitimate business IN the
space contracted for.
An transient advertisements must be paid for IN ad-
Resolutions in memoriam ofhanEs, tributes of respect
resolutions adopted by societies persons uness Of
public ,rN only be printed in this paper as
advertisements.
Marriage and death notices must be paid for IN ad-
rance.
Persons tearing the city hare The Gazette mailed
I" them, postpaid. far fifty cents month. and the
address changed rs often as desired.
The Ga-cHc office is connected mith the Telephone En-
change. advertisements, orders for the paper. necs
or any information or business can be sent jv tee
phonc.
Eutrc at the Posto6cc at Alexandria, Virginia, as
Srcond-cllS matter.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-04-15
CpECliL SALE OF HOSIERY.

100 dozen Chiidrens Ribbed Fine Cotton Hose,
full regular made colors black, navy blue and seal
brown, all sizes, only 25c. per pair
100 dozen Childrcn's French Ribbed Fine Cot
ton Hose, double knees and double heel and toe
in black, seal, navy and garnet, extra value, size
6, G1b I, ~. 8, 81, and inch, price 30, 52, "a,
&C. 3d. DO and 42c.
100 dozen Children's Fine French Ribbed Cot
ton Hose, with split feet double heel and toe, in
black, navy blue and seal brown, size 8, Ga. I,
IL. 8, Sla, and inch, plice 35, 40, 45, so, 55,
so and G5c.
IS dozen Misses Imported Lisle Thread Hose.
split feet, double heel and toe, in new brown and
new blue and black, especially for spring wear,
size 6. 6ls :, 74, ., Sla and incb price 70, 10,
so SIS, SO and g5c. and 81.
We hsve also received new and elegant line of
Ladies Pure Silk Hose ofa superior quality, which
we secured at less than real value, color5 black,
gray and bronze tho bronze match bronze Slip
persy. We have marked them at the low price of
50 per pair.
ARD & LOTHROP,
BOSTON DRY GOODS BOUSE,
ONE PRICE ONLY.
921 Pa. az WASHINGTON. D. C. 912 st
DREECH LOADING GUNS, fine quality. Shell
ID eiecting, Double action and other pist Is,
Loading Implements, Shells, Caps, Primers, Wads
and other goods in same line, will be sold at low
prices, at 81 King, corner of Royal streets Call
, and examine.
nov14 Ut. CREIGHTON & SON.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-07-24
As HARVEST GOES ON.
Reports Along the Omaha Indicate
That Crops Are Turning Out Better
Than Expected.

Reports Along the Omaha Indicate
That Crops Are Turning Out Better
Than Expected.
Crop reports from thirty-nine stations on
the line of the Omaha railroad show
that in many cases the crop is better than
some reports would indicate from other Sec
lions. From many of the stations the re-
ports are that harvesting is in full blast,
and the crop panning out better thaniwas
anticipated. Almost every station reports
the weather as very warm and mention is
made of the dryness. In all cases where
harvest is mentioned, the weather is said to
be favorable to this. From st. Peter the
report says: Harvest has commenced.
Weather favorable. Wheat will average as
much as last year-thirteen to fourteen
bushels per acre. Quality No. 1. Some
fields will go as high as twenty-five bushels
per acre. Oats light, but have i'm
proved. Corn good; will be full crop.
From Window the statement comes that
the crop is suffering for the want of rain,
but wheat grain is harvested seems to be
well filled. At Hamilton the farmers claim
a shortage of % to 80 per cent. on all
grains. At Belle PLANE fine crop of barley
and wheat that averages twenty bushels to
the acre is reported. In most places where
corn is mentioned the crop is spoken of as
looking well. The general remark on the
flax crop is that there will be a shortage.
Rye and barley in most cases are all cut
and the crop is said to be better than was
anticipated. A few points mention the
potato crop and all such speak of the need
Of rain. On the whole, the reports as the
harvest progresses are more satisfactory
than was anticipated and mention is made
of the fact that the complaints from the
farmers have diminished since the harvest
began.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-07-24
PERSONALS.

W. P. Burr, Boston, is guest at the Ryan.
G. Wilson, Watertown, is stopping at the
Ryan.
J. N. Mason, Chicago, is a guest at the
Ryan.
S. G. Smalley, Saltwater, is at the Clar-
endon.
A. Dobbin, Buffalo, New York. is guest at
the Ryan.
A. Sheridan Jones. Ol1vet, OAK, is at the
Mere hants.
w. E. Dodge, jamestown, D. T., is stopping
at the Ryan.
G. w. Taylor. Detroit MIMI, is a guest at
the Merchants.
William Window, Winona, is registered at
the Merchants.
A. w. Rally, Cleveland, O., is stopping at
the Merchants.
w. G.. Kellar, Albert Lea, is registered at
the Merchants.
Enos W. Barnes and wife, Welesville, N. Y,
are at the Ryan.
E. A. Whitman, Granite Falls, is stopping
at the Clarendon.
l.. Van Hecke, Glendale, OAK, is stopping
at the Merchants.
E. J. Harrison and wife, Sank Center, are
at the Merchants.
Hon. H. c. Waite and Hon. D. E. Myers of
st. Cloud were at the capital yesterday.
q Detective Browning of st. Louis. who has
been in the city some time on visit of rest
and recreation, left last night for Waukesha,
Wis.
At the Merchants: D. S. Haywood, st.
Cloud; E. ]. Brennan, Owatonna; DR.. d. P.
Bigger, Brainerd; w. Nj. Taylor, Montey1deo;
L. Darlington, st. Louis.
Mr.. and Mrs. Wagner of Oconomo voc, Wis
consin, arrived in the city yesterday and will
spend three or four weeks as the guests of
their daughter, Mrs. Henry Gutsche, $40 Day
ton uvenue.s