davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
PERlLOUS SPlNSTERS.
A Bachelors Fierce TRADE Against Love-
Sick Maidens of Mature Years,

A Bachelors Fierce TRADE Against Love-
Sick EIaidens of Mature Years.
II don't like it, he said, bad-tem-
peredly. That's the tenth old lady
who's fallen in love with me-
81 think that's complimentary to
you"
us itp Oh, yes. That's all right. /
go to party, and the old lady takes
me into corner and begins to talk to
me, and she has a pretty daughter,
and there's an ocean of pretty girls,
and I see somebody I want to dance
with, and the old lady says:
"'You don't want to dance; sit here
and talk to me. 7
"Well, why don't you get out and
dancer"
Il can't. A nice old lady, who flat
tiers you by asking your opinion of her
daughters beaux, and tickles your
vanity with all sorts of pretty little
touches-I tell you, my boy. you may
talk as you like about young women
and widows, and spinsters and firts,
but there isn't any hirt in creation so
dangerous as a. single woman at fifty
five, whose hair is just sprinkled with
silver. They have ways about them.
Confound it all, / remember getting
quite spoony on an old lady of sixty,
who was too old to dream of disguis-
ing her age.
s.You laugh! All right. Some day
you'll catch it, perhaps. But you don't
seem to be lovable. If they'd only get
mad and let you alone. But, no, they
simply take a snub quietly and wait
the next chance.
Idon think that's every body's ex-
perence.'
May be not That makes it all the
worse. You see, an old lady is priv
LEGGED to talk out, even about love,
and when she talks of love you think
she means as a son or something like
that. Then you find out that it's just
the same kind of love as anybody
else's, and you've kind of encouraged
it and accepted it, especially if she has
money. Even money is no good. I
knew an old widow lady. of sixty-five
who was passionately attached to me,
and when she died she left all the
money to congregation. I tell you,
L IN not going to stand it any more.
The next old lady that falls in love
with me will get left. and don't you
forget it. 7 San Francisco Chronicle.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
---------------ea . <n-----------
PLUCkY OLD SiMONS.

An Old Man Who Had No Faith in the
Dangerous Qualities of Powder.
"That explosion of powder in store
down the river puts me in mind of a
personal experience, said Detroiter
the other day. Il was living in Mis-
souri,, and the country store at which f
used to trade was kept by a man named
Simons. He was a queer, cranky old
chap, having his own ideas about every
thing, and, while he always kept in
stock several kegs of gunpowder, he
insisted on storing them for his own
convenience, without reference to the
danger. A twenty-five pound key al
ways sat on the counter within ten feet
of his weighing scales, and the very
first time | entered the store the old
man weighed out pound for Gus
toner and kept lighted pipe in his
mouth all the time. There were twenty
people inside. but was the only one to
skip out The others had got used to
it | felt it my duty to warn Simons
against such terrible carelessness. He
heard me through and replied:
Stranger, mebbe you had better
patronize some other store. I'm most
too old to want advice from boys
s.There was no other store within
seven miles, and [ therefore continued
to trade with the old man, though he
seemed down on me forever after that.
One night drove up after something
and found fully twenty men in the
store, most of whom were smoking.
There were three kegs of powder on
the counter this time, and when Iheard
a customer ask for pound / slipped
outdoors and didn't stop running for
half a mile. waited for half an hour,
but no explosion took place. When I
returned most of the men had gone. /
got my goods, mounted my horse and
set off for the lead mine, wondering
how it was that Providence fooled
around with the old man so long. I
had noticed powder scattered on the
counter and the wooden plug was on
one of the kegs. / was about a mile
away when my horse seemed to be lift
ed off the ground, and there came
rumble as if an earthquake had broken
loose. Fences along the roadside were
leveled, and |. heard glass breaking in
farmhouse windows. | knew what
had happened, and / turned and rode
back When / reached the site of the
store there was simply a great hole in
the ground. The building had been
scattered for half a mile around. Old
Simons was found in potato patch
forty rods away, bruised, blackened,
broken and dying, and when we picked
him up he gasped out:
. It's all nonsense to be afraid of
the burned stuff r"--Detrost Free
Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Susan B. Anthony has completed
the third volume of her History OF
Woman Suffrage
Congressman Taulbee, of Ken
lucky, earned his first money after his
marriage by shoyeling coal at fifty
cents day.
AN Ardent Admirer: Miss Jennie
Chamberlain, the beauty, has trained
a dog to lie down ana act as her foot
stool. Would we were flea upon
that dog!-M Moline Register.
Roscoe Conkling says: 1.-THE
smallest country newspaper is worth
more to its subscribers in one mont,
than its price for year. For Prssi-
dent of the United States, Roscoe
Conkling. of Utica. = Vineyard On -
Gazette.
Rev. Charles B. Galloway, OF
Mississippi, who was recently elected
to Bishopric in the Southern Metho.
dist Church, is said to be the Youngest
man ever elected to such a high posi-.
ton in the councils of the church. His
age is thirty-fve.
United States Minister Cox has
been collecting mummies during his
stay in the East, and has sent a fine
specimen over, over two thousand five
hundred years old with an authentic
record to the National Museum al
Washington.
Samuel Green, the second printer
in the United States, had nineteen
children, and his descendants were a
race of printers in New England and
Maryland. His son Bartholomew
printed in April, 1904, the first news
paper ever issued in America, the
Boston Meas Letter Boston Budget.
John Foss, of Sedgwick Post, No.
"a, Departmental Kansas, is said to be
the oldest Grand Army man living.
He was born in Leeds, Me-, October
10, 1900, enlisted in Company B, One
Hundred and Forty-second Illinois, in
May, 1864, and was mustered out in
October, 1865. He had two sons in
the Ninety-sixth Illinois and both are
members of Sedgwick Post. IN Y
World.
President Grevy, of France, was
So;ttcu Ill Ills once u lew days since
when a young man entered and said:
'You no doubt understand the object
of my visit. [ have been elected to
take your placer The President
glanced at the young man and replied:
Il am not surprised. If you will go
upstairs you will find my secretary,
who is at your command" The young
man went upstairs, and steps were
taken to carry him to alunatic asylum.
Literature has been killed by
journalism; journalism is soon to be
killed by reporting says the Paris
Figaro. "As for reporting, it will die
of itself; it is the last word of the lit
crary decadence of our age; it is the
man of letters replaced by the con-
cierge. Under the new system lit.
erary mans porter is better journal
ist than his master 1t further ap-
pears that it is from America that
this cyclone, this terrible reporting
note of actuality, has come" The
American interviewer has done the
business.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

While ihe toad is very useful in the
garden TO destroy slugs and insects, il
is not a good thing to have nesr your
bee hives, as it also swallows heavily
laden honey bees. - Cleveland Lender.
Prof. Stewart says green sorghum
| is a better green food for ce,ss in
August than green corn, because 1t has
more soluble sugar and is quite a, rich
IN heterogeneous clements. Troy Times.
Gold baths are dangerous to the old
| or feeble. Warm baths are relaxing,
and should not be taken in the morn
ing. The morning is the best time for
cold bath, the evening for warm
one. Boston Budget.
Weed and hoe the onions, peas and
, all OF the garden vegetables, harrow
the potatoes again, replant the corn
ana commence ploughing it the very
day it is large enough. Keep the
ground which tie crops occupy free
from weeds, loo e and mellow. N !.
Telegram.
Oatmeal Cookies: Two and one
half cups of oat-meat, two and one
AOuA VA Supo VA uOul, OHe itfl cup Oh
butter, one cup of sugar, two eggs,
two tablespoonfuls of milk, one small
teaspoonful of soda, and one large
teaspoonful of cinnamon. Roll thin
and bake in quick oven. - The House
hold.
Many experiments at home and
abroad indorse the practice of COM
posting fines ground mineral phosphates
for some months with fecal BARNARD
manure, as a very efficient course to
secure, In an economical way, active
phosphoric acid for the successful pro-
duction of our farm crops. m E.
Farmer.
The hogs should have undisputed
sway in the orchard during the fruit
season and they will eat up all the
fallen and wormy apples and hunt out
many of the grubs, &C., which are in
furious to the trees. In this way they
destroy many of the enemies of sound
fruit and shade trees, and in other
ways greatly benefit the orchard
Prairie Farmer.
"A Delicate Souffle: Dissolve quar-
ter of a pound of chocolate in luke
warm water; add the yelks of four eggs
and cup of powdered sugar, and mix
well together until you have smooth,
frothy paste. Beat up the four whites
to a stiff froth and add them to the
mixture. Pour all into baking dish;
leave it for twenty minutes in the oven
and serve. Toledo Blade.
Squash and sweet potato vines
having rootlets that grow out from
the under sides of the joints, which
anchor them and prevent the wind
from dislodging tt en-, should be lifted
very carefully when growing, as the
rootlets not only hold the plants in
place, but assist in procuring nourish-
ment, and any damage done in hand
ling retards the vines. - Westerp Rural
do not forget that fuchsias will
make their best growth in summer only
when partially shaded in the heat of
the day. The beautiful fnchsias which
| skilled florists show are made so by
careful and liberal pinching back Of
the fast growing stems. This induces
the tree-like habit which is so attract
i've in the fine specimens seen at exhi-
billions and florists greenhouses. EG-
| cb1ngc.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25

numerous works on his favorite study
and became Professor OF Zoology in the
Museum of Natural History in Paris,
yet he never forgot his miraculous de-
liyerance; and, after his death, aui
obelisk raised to his memory at Pere la
Chaise had engraved on it large figure
of the little beetle that had been guided
by Divine hand to visit his particular
prison cell and become the means of
his deliverance from death.-hary E.
BGnford. iis N. i. Observer.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
HE WITHDREW.
The Kind of Bride Which Proves Irrc-
sistible to a Dakotan.


. sistible to Dakotan.
Two men living in the same town
were once rival candidates for the
Dakota Legislature. They both went
into the canvass and worked hard bu:
a third candidate came out and stood
a prospect of getting it when one d
the men went to the other and said:
Now, see here. Mcbride. IL one oil
us don't pull out old skinner is going
to be elected
Eyes, / know it.
..He amt man who would know
enough to make any thing out of the
place and I'd hate to see him ret il.
Now, want You to withdraw
'Well, how interesting are ron going
to make it?'
I'LL tell You what I'll do; you
pull out and III admit 10 every man
I see that you once beat me trading
horses.f'
..Hey2 VIII yon 90 shatP''
! .sYou bet will!'
..Put card in the paper TO that
effect?''
Yes, and say that | believe no En-
ing man in the Territory can come
nearer to horses age by looking al
its teeth than you canl''
All right-I'l draw ont and leave
You the field. - EstaliUs Cd. r..
Bell
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
FOR OUR YOUNG READERS.
LEARNING TO WHISTLE.

Our boy is learning to whistle;
1t S always something new:
lie begius first thing in the morning.
And he stops last thing at bed time.
And he keeps it up at intervals.
The day through.
And pray who is his teacher?
We haven't decided quite
Whether it is the thruSheS,
The bobolinks in the meadow,
Or the swallows round the barn caves
Or Bob White.
What is the tune he likes best?
We'll, it's between a call
And the shrek of the wind in the chimney.
Or a gale in the tops of the pine-trees,
For, in fact don't tell it is no
Tune at ALI
Go ask his little playmates.
And ask the housema d, too,
IF they like that sort of music,
They'll sigh: lob, dear!" Good gracious p
Now ask me if like it,
Yes, do.
Mrs Clara Doty Bates, Ia Our Little Ones.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25

"A colored Bishop of Georgia pre-
diets that -.the unbalancing of the air
currents which electric lights are caus-
ing will in few years, if they increase
in numbers rs fast as in the past five
years, cause whole cities to be blown
away at a time, and foods unlike any
save Eoah's.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
Handsome Garniture.

One of the prettiest modes for chill
drens' evening toilets is the pure white
design. Some of these costumes are
one mass of lace and embroidery.
Most elaborate, too, are the ribbon
bows, placed here and there, and then
the ribbon-sashes are in various pat
terms; the. plain, one-color ribbon is
often preferred. White cashmere,
serge and French nun S vailing are fab
RIGS much sought after in selecting an
evening or afternoon dress for child
visiting a fashionable resort. Bonnets
and hats are more generally worn than
lace caps, except by very small chill
dren. Y. Telegram.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25

AS over her lesson she bent her head.
"What is muse? Mamma dear,
Can you give the answer as It's here9
'Probably, not" made reply,
'But Ill ask of those whom meet by and
by"
first saw a farmer hale and brown,
Who bad just come home from ride to
"what is music?" asked, as he came near;
And he answered withlaugh that was good
to hear: 90
"wbst i music, did you say?
It's the hum of those mowers out thore cut
Next week twill be the binders out in the
wheat,
They make music to me veryssweet"
"what is music?" ] asked of toil.worr
hand
In building where fabrics were made that
were grand.
'"Tis the wIiiIr of those looms all day long,
III you listen Alright they make quite song
''what is muslc2" asked Of miser old;
And he quickly answered ",tis the rattle OF
gold;
There is nothing else that can make the same
sound.
AS turn my beauteous treasure around"
] met a woman, sad, cast
Who was ROBBED in black from foot to crown.
What is muster ! softly said;
It's the voices of loved ones who now are
dead. 60
And they were so dear. Oh! how sweet
Was the musical patter of little feet"
''What is muslc2" asked of poet who lay
On BROOKS messy bank one summers day
what is muslc2 why, it's the song the brook
makes,
As it trills and ripples on its way to the lakes;
Hear that thrush on yon topmost bough,
He is music mad from the sound, trOw.
Hear the soft rustic of the leaves overhead
How they dance with one another, by the
south wind lead.
That's musc!"
met lovely, fair young wife,
Who had hardly known a care in life.
"What is IlUsic?" asked of her
what Is music? come home with me
And YOU for yourself, shall see."
] thought 10 sec u Steinway grand,
For knew she spent with lavish hand.
We scarce had entered the spacious hall,
When through the rooms their came call:
Mamma has comet and moment more
=, beautfnl boy bounded over the floor.
Her wraps were gu ckly thrown aside,
And taking her boy with loving pride,
She said: This is music all day long,
III is more to me than q syren's song"
what is music?" l tenderly said
To dear old saint with whitened head
what is musicY'-in II trembling tome,
Ills what shall hear when get home;
whether it be the angels, with harps all In
tune,
Or the voice of the Master saying well done. -
Matte Mcbride, in UduSdU WIS., ReUieU.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
A youno man in Sacramento we,

A young man in Sacramento went
into a saloon, sat down. read a paper
a few minutes, and fell to the floor
totally blind 1t was found that the
blindness resulted from Inflammation
of nerve leading to the eye, superin-
duced BY impure blood. San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25

Bingham was first manufactured
in the United States by Erastus Bsgelow,
at Clinton, Mass, in 1916. 1t was the
first attempt to manufacture fhs fabric
mentioned BY machinery, and enabled
the American manufacturers to COM
pete successfully with those OF En-
gland,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25

The pathetic tale of the little pig
that lost his mother is thus told in a
notice posted in the Pensacola post
office:
NOTICE.
There is lost Pig
about tow week old at
nv Phase Back of wyers
old Phase on Palafox Street
a large willow tree in my
yard the Pig has been
there days and will not
go away the owner is
welcome TO him
he has lost his mother
Pig IN charge.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-06-25
Tht Senuslra Tslegraph.
KENOSHA. WISCONSIN.
WHAT IS Muslc7

"What Is music? O little girl said,
AS over her lesson she bent her head.
"What is music? Mamma dear,
Can you give the answer as It's hero?
"Probably, not" ] made reply,
"But Ill ask of those whom meet by and
hY"
The Washington critic., 1886-08-25
CITY SPECIdLS.
Pleasure Tour- 10 the Allegheny
Mountains nnd CrcsSOn,

Following up the line of policy pur-
sued In the last two years the Pennsyl-
vania Railroad Company will this sea.
son run three select excursions to Cres-
son and the Allegheny Mountains.
There Is no section of country in Amer
ica that Is more healthful and health.
restoring, and none richer in the va.
riety, extent and beauty of Its scenery.
Cresson may be considered the cap.
ital of this realm, and Its magnificent
hotel, the Mountain House, is an
abiding place constructed, equipped,
aud conducted In such manner as TO
make II easily The first mountain resort
Of the lard. 1t is situated on the very
crest Of the mountains and in the midst
Of the aboriginal forest, which bounds
the outer limits of the grounds with It's
her oic trees Beside enjoying an at
mosphero Of The utmost purity and
climate always cool and fresh, the
grounds also furnish the celebrated
springs that have made the name Of
Cresson famous.
The vicinity of Cresson is one of the
most interesting portions Of the Al
leghouies The outlying country is
full Of places Of note, all of which are
connpcttd with Crpsson. either bv rail
ar Lv Cvcr,rri r,ods In,dinr tbronTb
wildwood iorcst md intcryale' T6e
nlanes Of tI,e old PORTAGE Road are n
lew miles from the Lotcl, ELensburg,
T,o-nito TuLrq,nvr Nunon, nrI the
excitinG rlde over The Brll's Gam Rail.
road are MI within eusv reach of 50.
io,.r,,ore 81, Crcssnn ,ri snrvp' II, mako
;,p a diyersi,v Of diversion the ike of
The Washington critic., 1886-08-25

Building permits have been granted TO
Jacob Fussel to erect dwelling on r
street, between Fifteenth and Sixteenth
streets, to cost $1,000; John MoGrann, two
dwellings on First street, near + street
northwest, TO cost 5000; Joseph s. Boss,
three dwellings on Wylie street northeast,
to cost $500, James Lewis, frame
dwelling at Ivy City, to cost $l75; Charles
Butt, 3story addition to 1920 Seventh
street, 10 cost $3.50; Mrs, Green, fuel shed
at 53l Twenty-seventh street, TO cost 800;
z, Gleason, an addition TO dwelling on
FoEall Road, to cost 5000; w. NJ.
Gait, au addition to dwelling 1ll4
Vermont avenue, to cost $1,000;
Thomas j, johnson, frame dwelling on
the Bennings road, TO cost $500; G. Thorn-
ton, two frame dwellings on Sherman ave
nue., In tho county, $500; j. NJ. Varnum,
three dwellings on Maryland avenue, be-
tween Twelfth and Thirteenth streets south
west, $500; Miss B. G. Earle, dwelling
on Thirty-Gfth and NJ streets, $4,000; G.
O.. Cornwell, a store and office building on
Pennsylvania avenue, near Fourteenth
streets, TO cost $500
The Washington critic., 1886-08-25
sALTImoRE L OHIO RAiLR0AD
Schedule IN eject SUNDAY, MAY so, 1886,
until further notice.

''''r''
=. Leave Washington from station, corner OF
New Jersey avenue and q street
For Chicago 10 a IN and 1910 y m daily. The
~ m Is q Fast Limited Express for Pitts
burg and Chicago, arriving I'm Pittsburg at
$50 m;chicago next morning at S:55 No
time.
For Cincinnati, louisville and st. Louis daily
at 3'30 y IN and 1910 y M with through
coaches and palace sleeping cars to above
points without change; $3.50 p m ia a fast
limited train to Cincinnati and st. Louis,
arriving IN Cincinnati next morning at 7:45,
~. LOUIS o;lo m. No extra fare is charged
For Pittsburg at 10 a m and S:55 o m daily, 10
I1ttsbutg, Cleveland and Detroit with Non
;, arch parlor and sleeping ears TO lttsburg.
For Lynchbutg, Natural Bridge. Lexington
and Stannton 1910 p m, with sleeping cars
daily. On saturday, sleeping car to Natu-
>, raj Bridge. Station only.
For Lexington and Local Stations, $40 IN
daily. except Sunday, and 1910 IN daily
For Wilmington, Del, and intermedi lte points
between Baltimore and Wilmington, 1915 p
m daily, except Sunday.
For Baltimore on week davs 3. G:3O G:iO, 7:3O,
$50 and 10.05 n m, 1910, 1.25, 315 A5-minute
train, $3.50, $3.50, 4;4O, $40, GAO, z, 1926 and
l1pm.
For Baltimore on Sundays G:30 7:ao, $40
and 1898 nj, 1875, 1:S0, $3.50, $40, $40, GAO,
For Shenandoah Valley Railroad and points
South 10 q m and $3.50 p m daily. The 10 a
m train has sleeper from Washington to
New Orleans; 500 p m, sleeper to Little Rock
For Annapolis $40 m and 1910 and 4:SO
pm; on sunday $50 q m. $40 pm
For way stations between Washington and
Baltimore D, O:iO, $3.50 a m, 1910 u m, $3.50,
d;i0, Z aud II p m. on SUNDAYS $50 a m and
1890. $3.50. 4i0, z, II u IN. For stations on Met
ropoliian Branch gas "A IN daily cNccptSunday
and 5:3l p m daily; $40 y IN daily except
Sunday for principal stations ON Metropoll-
tan Branch, $40 IN daily: on sun
day stops at all stations. For Gaitlersburg
aud intermediate points, 1905 m, 1890 and
il:2O p m daily except Sunday. For Freder-
lex $40 a m and $40 y m daily except Sun
day
For Hagers!own 10 m and 5;3l m daily ex-
Cept Sunday.
Trains arrive from the West daily G:eO. 7eo a
m, 10, $50 and 1880 p III. Q.ittle Rock ex-
press.
From Wilmington, Del, and intermediate
points north of Baltimore, ills n m.
from Auuuuun., s.5J a IN aud 100 and 5;25
p M sunday. l035 a m, G;3j IN.
From Hatpcr's Ferry and Valley Railroad,
go q N daily and $50 p m daily except
Sunday.
m and Sat m daily except Sunday.
Trains leave Baltimore for Washington at $40,
t:aJ, ia0, 800, 9;O5 and 1880 m, i9:15, 28O,
2, 4, 420, ., $50, 7Ab, Q and II p m; on Sun
days G.3O. 1.2O. 0:0O and 0:05 a M, 1:9O 2:3O,
$50. b. G30, $40, 9aud II p m.
All trains from Washington stop at Relay
Station except 1875, 3:lj and G4Opln.
For further Information apply at the Balti-
more ONO Ticket Office Washington sta
tion, Gl1 and 1851 Pennsylvania avenue, corner
of Fourteenth street, where orders will be
taken for baggage to be checked and received
at any point in the city.
Is, DuNHAM, C.K. LORD,
Gen. Manager, Balto. G.P.A,
The Washington critic., 1886-08-25
OLD Dominion Notes.

There was a feet of $50 wnd-bound vessels
In Hampton Roads yesterday morning.
Nr. John X. Patterson, the new post
master Of Petersburg, took possession OF
the Office Monday morning.
VIM. j. Yarbrough, one Of the oldest to-
bacconists OF Richmond, died in that city
Monday evening, aged "A years.
Governor Lee has been invited to deliver
an address OF welcome to the General AS
senbly Of theKnights of Labor which is to
meet at Richmond, October 4.
Mr.. f. A. Barber, who has been auditor
Of the X. and ID. Il. II. for many years, has
been appointed assistant general freight
and passenger agent of the Danville sys-
ten, With headquarters In Richmond.