The Delta independent., 1886-12-07
This space 6elon6s
to
KING & MOODY
REAL ESTATE AGENTS
KEEP YOUR EYE ON. II
BILL NYE ON HOTELS.

He Describes His Experiences at an
Imitation Hostelry.
Chicago Tribune.
We are moving about over the coun-
try. James Whitcomb Riley and l. in
the capacity of moral and spectacu-
lar show. l attend to the spectacular
part of the business. That is more in
my line.
am writing this ut an imitation ho-
tel where two roads cross. will call
it the Fifth Avenue Hotel because the
hotel at Il railroad junction is general
ly called the Fifth Avenue or the Gem
City House or the Palace Hotel. l
stopped at an inn some years ago Cal
led the Palace, and I can truly say
that If it had ever been palace it was
very much run down when visited it.
just as the fond parent of II white
eyed two-leggsd freak of nature loves
to name his mentally diluted son Ma
poleon. and for tile same reason that
prominent horse owner in Illinois last
year shocked my name on u tall. buck
skin colt that did not resemble me.
intellectually or physically. II colt that
did not know enough to 60 around q
barbed wire fence but sought to shift
himself through it into All untimely
grave, SO this man has named his sway
backed wigwam the Fifth Avenue Ho-
tel.
! 1t is different from the Fifth Avenue
in many ways. In the place, and not
50 much travel and business in its
neighborhood. AS said before this is
where two railroads fork. In fact.
that is the leading industry here. The
growth of the town is naturally slow.
but it is a healthy growth.
There is nothing in the nature of
dangerous or wildcat speculations in
the advancement of this place: and
while there has been no noticeable or IA
pid advance in the principal business.
there has been no falling off at all. and
these roads are forking rs much to-day
AS they did before the war. while the
same three men who were present for
the first glad moment are still here to
witness its operation.
Sometime train is derailed. IS the
papers call 1t. and two or three people
have to remain over. ~ we did, all
night. 1t IS at such time that the
Fifth Avenue Hotel Is the scene of the
greatest excitement. A largo Goldfish.
with broad and sunny smile and his
bosom full of rock salt is tied In the
creek to freshen and fit himself for the
responsible position Of floor manager
of the Goldfish ball.
A pale chambermaid. wearing
black jersey with large pores in it
through which she is perc0lating. now
goes joyously up the stairs to mako
the little post Office lock.bOx room
look ten times worse than ever before.
She MARBLES II low refrain as she nim-
bly, knocks loose the venerable dust Of
centuries and sets it afioat throughout
the room. All is bustle about the
house. Especially the chalnbermaid.
We were out in the guests chamber
here. 1t has two atrophied beds III ade
up of pains and counterpanes.
The last remark conveys to the read
er the presence of light. joyous feel
ing. which is wholly assumed on my
part.
The door of our room is full Of holes
where locks have been wrenched off to
lot the coroner in. Last night could
imagine that l WAS inethe act of meet
ing, personally. the famous people who
have t1ied to sleep here. and who
moaned through the night and died
while waiting for the dawn.
| have no doubt in the world but
there. is quite good sized delegation
from this hotel of gsests. who hesita-
ted about committing suicide beosuse
they feared to tread the retl-liot side
walks of perdition, but who became
desperate vt last and resolved to take
their chances. and they never had any
cause to regret it.
We washed our hands on door knob
soap. and dried them OH a slippery elm
court plaster that had made quite rep
utation for itself under the nom de
plume of "Towel," tried to warp our
selves at a pocket inkstand stove that
gave out heat like u dark lantern and
had deformed elbow at the back Of it.
The chainbermaid is very versatile
and waits on the table when not en-
gagged in agitating the over worked
mattresses and puny pillows upstairs.
In this way she imparts the odor of
fried pork to thu pillow cases and kerr
osene To the pie.
Still. she is sociable at times and
converses very freely with Inc ut the
table and she leans over my shoulder,
pensiyely brushing the crumbs into my
lap with II general utility towel. which
accom- p anies her in her various ram
bles through the house, and she askes