Morning journal and courier., 1886-03-18
ADVANCED.

Some of the steam railroads have advanced their rates for carrying dressed hogs. On the horse cars dressed hogs continue to travel at old prices.-Lynn Item.
 The negroes are nothing if they are not consistent Most of the colored girls in the southern schools are either called Lily or Blanche. Philadelphia Call.
 Sophronia asks: Did people in the olden times know anything of sleighinga Yes, the ancient warriors used to go out sleighing in their chariots.-Boston Courier.
 In Siam wife who redeems her husband after he has sold himself owns him there after as her slave. We are not informed what happens when she takes him back af ter he has given himself away.-Lowell Citi- zen.
 Young Reporter-The storm king hurled his torn and tumbling torrents over the ruins of the broken and dismembered edifce. Old Editor-What's that! What do you mean, young fellow? Y. RI er-er the flood washed away Patrick McDougal's old soap factory Lynn Union.
 A Little Holiday.-Fellow townsman (to manufacturer); Hu1lo, Jackscrewl Your works c1osedf How's thats I understood your were busy. Jackscrew (brass founder): So we are; but cur lands took 'emselves off to-day to join the pr'cession O the unem- ployed.-Punch.
 
 sentence "Adolphus married Caroline" Miss Swell, ''Adolphus'' is noun, be cause it is the name of 8 thing; "married'' is a conjunction, because it joins Adolphus and Caroline, and Caroline" is a verb, because it governs the noun.-Life.
 s'Robby," whispered young Featherly, "did your sister Sadie get note from me last night? It was written on pink paper" ''I guess she must have got it." said Bobby, toar axxyI,a eT,, huaa alyeac this morning her hair was done up in pink curl papers:"-Harpers Bazar.
 A Berlin actor asked his managers advice regarding the feasibility of giving for his benefit night stage version of Schiller's ''Song of the Bell" The manager emphati cally replied ''No!' and being asked why he replied: Because the public knows the memorize "-Metropolitan Programme.
 A Fair Warning. Applicant (to St. Peter) -"Can I come in?' St. Peter-"Who are yous" Alphabetically name is Smith; I'm from Chicago" St. Peter-"C Chicago!" Ap- plicant-"Yes, sir" St. Peter (dubiously)- t'Yes, you can come in if you want to, MT. Smith, but give you fair warning you won't like it here. life.
 Florida hotel proprietor (to steward) d)-Has that alligator ordered yesterday got here yet?
 Steward-No sir
 Proprietor (angrily ly)-Well, this is little too much, and a new batch of northern in valids just arrived. You will have to scratch stewed terrapin off the bill of fare.-New York Times.
 s'Ha! ha! hal" laughed Detroiter as he met a slawyer st the postof6ce yesterday; 'sbut funny thing occurred in connection with my trip to Chicago last week." "Yes." Stopped at one of the big hotels, you know, and the night came away forgot to pay my bill. Yes, sir; walked right of without saying word, and never thought of the matter again until half way home." "Why,' replied the lawyer as he drew let ter from his pocket, ''tney have already for The bill is $9.75, and my fees are $1.25. Please call at the office at once and save ex- pensel"-Detroit Free Press.