The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1886-02-19
ARremus WARD.
"reminiscences and Hitherto Unpub.
Mslled Anecdotes ofthe Famous

"Reminiscences and Hitherto Unpub-
lished Anecdotes ofthe Famous
| Snowman.
The cyclopedia has been led into q
slight error in its statement that Artc-
mus Ward-holcst Indian, Charles F.
Browns-iirst won his way to fame as
reporter upon Cincinnati journal.
The honor belongs to q Cleveland
parcr-thc Plain Dcalcr-which at the
period referred to was under the guild
anc. Of the late Joseph w. Gray, him-
self one of the most piquant editorial
writers of his time. At that period tho
innovation by which tho work Of re-
portcrs is made to pass the eagle eye
of the responsible editor had not come
in vogue, and as the subject of this
sketch early made the intimate ac-
quaintance of all the bloods and wits of
the town, the holding of high carnival
in tho Plain Dealer columns seemed
mere child's play, yet he worked faith
fully. dashing off as if without effort
gems of wit and sentiment
"Frcshcr than berries of mountain tree"
The first letter of the Snowman was
well calculated to deceive anyone not to
the manner born. He refers with an
air of pride to his little cuss of q kanga-
roo and his harmless ''snaiX," and be-
speaks .notis," scientific like, hatter-
ing, but not piled on too thick, and
says he will make it all right, not only
remembering the editors and their
wives in the way of free passes, but
also patronizing the offico in the way
of printing handbills. He stated to the
writer that when he dashed off this
screed he had not the remotest idea of
writing second under the same pscu-
donym, but it seems he had struck too
rich mine to abandon.
Although modest and retiring to a
fault, the Snowman could not be
"bluffed," and in case of emergency,
was always ready with an apt reply. A
few years prior to his cntrcc to the Plain
Dealer, although then acquainted with
its editor, he chanccd to meet in tho
sanctum the Governor of the State, the
late Hon. Reuben Wood, to whom he
was stranger. The Governor was one
Of trio who had adorned and dignificd
the Supreme Bench of the State, and it
was thought he would prove equally
distinguished if placed in the gubcr-
material chair. In his new position he
did not prove phenomenal success,
possibly for the want of a suitable
occasion. Charley, by casually laying
his hand upon pile of manuscript,
arrested the attention Of this eminent
dignitary, who exclaimcd: please do
not meddle- with that; it is my annual
messagc!" The reply was quick as
thought: Governor. ] didn't intend
meddling with it; the fact is. would
not 60 through that document and cor
rect the orthography and grammar fol
the handsomest $50 bill in the State
treasury"
The worthy Governor could not have
dreamed that his own fame was destined
to be eclipsed by that of the STRIPPING
whom he thus ncercmoniously nc.
costed.
Very naturally, in his professional
rounds, he made himself at home will
his ci-devant brethren of the press.
Upon one occasion he extended u press.
ing invitation to the staff of the old
Adrertiscr to seek the grateful solacc
of lemonade, which was to be obtained
in Birmingham's saloon, on the ground
floor of the same building ION Jefferson
avenuc). All acqliesccd save one, who
was no other than james II. Stone,
whose lot had been but recently cast
among the types and shadows. Some.
one whispered: "It is no use to urge
him; he has promised he would never &c
into a saloon" Charley, as he prepared
to descend the first step of the stairway,
looked back over his shoulder and re-
marked in solemn tone: "Well, it j!
really sad to see a young man start ou
in life in that way!''
His style of mock gravity, so well re
mcmbercd as u feature of his lectures
was carried out to perfection in his mum
bcrless jokes, the cxquisitcncss of til,
stimulation being almost calculated tt
deceive the very elect. AS the writer
was once sauntcring with him along on,
of our principal avenues, man propcll
ing swill cart was encountered at on,
of tho cross streets. Going up to hin
and extending his glovcd hand to with
in half an inch of the contents of th,
cart, Charley inquired:
"What are the peculiar properties o
this very attractive conglomeration. an,
what may be the uses to which it is de
voted?"
The man replied that it was his Owl
property" and was intended for use il
feeding swine.
"Oh! that is perfectly legitimate, re
turned the qucstioncr, "inasmuch as
seems necessary to save your bacon, bu
have you always cue regard to the ma
turc of the various constituent elements
and do you attend with scdulous care t
providing just proportions of albume
and other manifestly desirable proper
ties?'
; The proprietor of the vehicle SCENE
, dazed and did not volunteer a response
; "Abovc all things" continued til
Snowman, ''in portioning our food 70
your swine avoid pastry as you would
deadly poison. This advice is profferc
i, upon the most eminent authority"
r The man seemed to see some point t
this, vouchsaiing kind of semi-appre
ciativc smile.
"May ask, my dear sir. what is you
nationality? What country can boast {
sending you to this asylum of the dow
I, troltcn and oppressed"
| He was Polandcr
l To this information there was MOS
enthusiastic response. "Let ME gras