davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

When you visit or cave New YORK CITY, save
baggage expressage and g carriage Hire, and stop
aithe Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Cen.
ual Depot.
coo elegant rooms, fitted up at a cost OF one
million dollars, 81 and UPWARDS ner
day. European Plan. Elevator. Restaurant
supplied with the best. Horse cars, stages and
elevator railroad TO all depotS FamIie can live
better for less money at the Grand Union Hote
than at any Other u~rst-class hotel IN the citT.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

ELY's CREAM BALM has entirely
cured me of a long standing case OF
catarrh. | have never yet seen its
equal as a cure for colds III the head
and headache resulting from such
colds. 1t is a remedy of sterling merit.
Ed. l.. Grossly, Nashville, Tenn.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

"SAY, Mr.. Gogglesop. what do you
come to our house so often for?"
Gogglesop (patr0nizlngly) - Now,
Tommy you must ask your sister Clara
that, when she comes into the parlor-
just ask her,"
"Well, L did, and she said she'd be
blest if she knew"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
EEvoUSBagzzxss
SCrOfuIa of Lungs.

IcT1now 80 years old. and hIFe suffered for the
last fifteen years with q lung trouble, L have spent
thousands of dollars to arrest the march OF this dis
easa; but temporary relief was all that | obtained
/ was unit for any manual labor for several years.
A friend strongly the use Of SWifts
specific IS. S. 81. claiming that he himself had been
greatly benefited by its use in some lung trol blea,
/ Resolved to tryit. The results are remarKaOl5 My
cough has left me, my strength has returned, and 1
weigh sixty pounds mora than [ ever did in my life,
1t has been three years siHc5 / stopped the use of the
medicine, but l have had no retura OF the disease
and there are no pains or weakness te4t in my lungs.
/ do the hardest kind Of work. L.. j. HOLr
Montgomery, Ala, Jano2 1885,
Swifrs Specific Is entirely vegetable. Treatise on
Blood an d Skin DiseaSCas mailed free.
TIE SWIFT SPECIFIC 10, Drawer 5, Atlanta, Ga,
or Isl ". ed St, ny
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

SOME one has posted the family led
ger to ascertain (which cost more to
rear, boys or girlsp" We believe he
made the showing that girls were the
cheaper investment, but we feel quite
sure that they are dearest, after they
are grown to the waltzlng age.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

THAT was a dirty mean trick Hol-
man served you, Parsons"
u should say so. Means M name
for it. l was never so mad in my life"
well, are you Off Not mad at me,
are you? Where are YOU going?"
Going home to have revenge"
And how, there, pray?"
why, by jawing my wife"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
Tho brand ON q

was not more fearful than are the marks of
skin diseases and yet DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery" is a certain cure for all
of them. Blotches, pimples, eruptions,
pustules, scaly incrustations, Jumps, in
famed patches, salt-rheum, letter, boils,
~oarbuncles, ulcers, old sores, are by its use
healed quickly and permanently.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
Make your life so that there will al
ways be a heaven around you.

MEFsAASs PERFORMED BEBY TONIC, the onIy
preparation of beef containing its entire nutrt
tlolLS properties. 1t contalnsb lood-making, force
generating and lfe-sustslning properties; invalua.
blefo indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostrati0n,
and all forms OF general debility; also, in all en-.
feebled conditions, whether the result OF exhaus-
ton, nervous prostration, oyer-work or acute DIS
ease, particularly II resulting from pulmonary
complaints. Caswel, Hazard h Co., proprietors,
New York. Sold by druggists
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Young and middle-aged men. suffering
from nervous debility and kindred atfec-
tons, as loss Of memory and hypoohondria,
should enclose 10 cents in stamps for large
illustrated treatise suggesting sure means
of cure. Address, Worlds Dispens ary
Medical Association, Bnffalo, n. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

"WHAT are you waiting for, little
boy?" inquired a kindly old gentleman
of a street urchin, who was watching
each passer-by intently.
"Waitin' for a long-whiskered gent
smokin' a seegar. Then I'll foller him
an git the stub"
DO long-whiskered men smoke bet
ter cigarsP"
Nav, but dey don't smoke 'em so
shOrt.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

w. II. Worthington, editor OF "Patrons
of Husbandry." Columbus, Mass, writes
Feb. % 1882 "Your great remedy, Aliens
for fifteen years, for coughs and colds, and
know it to be the best" Price, pc, JOc.
and 81 per bottle, at Druggists.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

An Irish physician, DR.. Henry Ma.
caulay, has made the unique suggestion
that the intense heat of the sun IN trop-
ical countries be used as an agent for
cooling buildings. He would use
Muchot's sun engine for pumping cold
air INTO factories, dwellings, etc.. as in
this way the temperature may be re-
duced from 100 degrees to so degrees.
This plan is available only where ice
may be obtained
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

PARsNIP BALLS are excellent for an
entree. Parboil six large parsnips and
let them get quite cold. then peel them
and CRATE them; beat two eggs until
very light and mix with the grated par
snip, adding enough -four to give co.
herence to the mixture; flour yourhands
and make small fiat balls. Have hot
lard in a shallow kettle and drop the
balls gently into it; fry them until they
are well Drowned on both sides. Send
to the table very hot.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

YES, we had a row, your Honor"
she said in the police court, the other
What caused it2"
she said my husband had run away
from me, and l gave her a slap"
y o Il shouldn't have cared what she
said.'
But | couldn't help it, your Honor.
When my husband has been seDtt3 the
MorkhGase fer three months he hasn't
run away, and I'll not stand by and
near any n traduce his loving char
acter.D
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A DEPUTATIoN of political strikers
once waited on a rich lawyer and asked
HIM to run for Judge. Here is a good
show for you on the bench. Go in. The
willy Irwyer replied; "a bench showl Is
thy servant a dog, that he should do
this thinpPD
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A FACT worth knowing around the
laundry; That by adding two parts OF
cream of tartar to one part of oxalIc
acid, ground fine and kept dry Ia bot
tie, you will find, by applying a little OF
the powder TO rust stains while the ar
ticles are wet, that the result is much
quicker and better, Wash out in
clear warm water to prevent injury to
the goods.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

When you have tried everything else
in creation for that bald head of yours,
you will probably tumble to the fact
that Carboline is the only Hair pro
Queer that Will do the work properly
and well.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

BREAD AND FRUIT PUDDING
Soak one cup of stale-bread crumbs in
one pint of hot milk; add n table
spoonful OF butter, one cup of sugar,
one s~altspoonful of salt, and %saltspoon'
full of spice. When cool, add three
eggs, we'll beaten. Add two cups of
fruit, either chopped apples, raislns, cur.
rants, canned peaches or aprlcots- one,
or a mixture Of two or more varieties.
When using canned fruit, drain 1t from
the syrup, and use the latter in making
a sauce. Vary the sugar according to
the fruit. Turn into a buttered pud-
ding mold and steam two hours,
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A dose of Red Star Cough Cure will
prevent you disturbing the congregation
and put you in a right frame OF mind
to enjoy the services. Twenty-Five
cents a bottle.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

a jealous soul without meekness is
like a ship In a storm, in danger of
wrecks. A meek soul without zeal is
like a ship in a calm, that moves not so
fast as it ought.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

mo won't have a cat about my
house," savagely exclaimed a young
wife the other day. every time | look
at a cat it makes me mad to think II
can wear a fur coat in winter and l
can't
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
Nowadays it is easier to believe in
ghosts than in delicate feelings.

The longest pole knocks the persimmous,
and Bigelow's Positive Cure knocks Mi
coughs, colds, Group, hoarseness, bron chitis,
asthma, influenza and consumption. Pleas,
ant for children. Safe and sneedy. 50 cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

GENTLEMEN of the jury, 'said a Te-
cumseh lawyer the other day, There
were just thirty.six hogs in the drove.
Please remember the fact-just three
times as many as in the jury-box, gen
tlemen.D
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

WIEN roasting a chicken or small
fowl there is danger of the legs brown
ing or becoming too hard to be eaten.
To avoid this take strips of cloth, dip
them into a little melted lard and wind
them around the legs. Remove them
in time to allow the chicken to brown
~delicately.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A VALUED contemporary raises the
old question as to what the moon IS
made OF. Oleomargarlne, perhaps. II
IS impossible to be certain Of the genu-
ineness OF anything in these days.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A LADY of a certain age says that
the reason an old maid is generally so
devoted to her cat is that, not having
a husband, she naturally takes to the
next most t~reacherous animal.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A Miss LOUISA TENANT married
a Captain In the army. The Captain
remarked, after the honeymoon was
over, that IL was his first experience Of
a Lieutenant bossing a Captain.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

"Your Hop PasterS relieved me of Back
ache when 1 could not turn in bed, after
using several other kinds of plasters and
liniments," says Mr.. Spencer Larkin, of
Farmingdale, Long Island. All drug
ristS. DC.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

If you need a perfect tonic or a blood
purifier, take DR.. Jones Red Glover Tonic.
1t speedily cures all troubles ofthe stomach,
kidneys and liver. Can be taken by the
most delicate. Price 30 cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The Bible is Gods epistle to man
kind /; and what greater affront can be
shown to an earthly friend, than TO
throw by his letters unopened and I'M
read.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Dr.. Antoajn Matin says that the
flavor of c3d liver oil may be changed
to the delightful one of fresh oysters, If
the patient will drink a large glass of
water poured from a vessel in which
nails have been allowed to rust.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The claims as to the curative powers OF Hoods
SarsaparIlla are based entirely on what the peo-
pie say 1t has done for them. Send to c. ]. Hood
4 Co, Lowell, Mass, for a book containing state
ments of many remarkable cures by Hoods Sar-
s%aparilla.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A WRITER in the Indianapolis Herald
says poetry IS unvolced music.n That
substantiates our belief that the tomcat
sings in prose.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

When Baby was sick, we gave her CastOria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria-
When she became Miss. she chung to Castoris,
Whom she had Children she gave them Castoriat
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The wealth of a soul is measured by
how much it a feel poverty by how
little.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

MRS JACKsING.-"Look heah, Mar
Una, what yer cut dat piece outen yo'
daddy's vest for?n
Martha,-'I ies wanted a little piece
for my crazy quilt"
Mrs. Jacksing.-Crazy quilt, hay?
Well, you wait till yer daddy see his
Sunday vest, den you'll see sumf1n
crazy what won't be no quilt"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

There is no need of being imposed on if
you will insist on having the Frazer Brand
OF AxleGrease One greasing will last two
weeks.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

WHAT is the worst thing about
richest" asked a S~unday-schooI teach.
er. That they take unto themselves
wings and fly away promptly replied
the boy at the foot of the class
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

COFFEE JELLY.-One teacupEul of
very strong coffee. Dissolve in it "a II
ounce packet of gelatiue, Put on the
fire one pint of milk aud 6 OF. of lump
sugar; when nearly on the boil pour in
the coffee and gelatine. Let all boil to-
gether for ten minutes; pour into a
wetted mold, and keep in a cool place
till stiff.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

ORANGE CREAM Soak a me ounce
packet of gelatine, and add it to II
pint Of milk in which 6 Oh. of lump
sugar has been dissolved. Add a little
lemon peel, and boil all together for ten
minutes. Strain the milk and add to it
half a pint of orange juice and the
Juice of one small lemon. Stir well,
and pour into a mold till set.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The best protected life is the one pro
tected by suffering.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

FITS: All Fits stopped free. Treatise and k2trial
bottle OF DR.. kllne's Great Nerve RestOrer free 10
Fit cases, Sendto Dr. Kline. 93l Arch ST., Phla Pa.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The duration of our passions is no
more dependent upon us than the dura-
ton of our life,
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

A QUEER old gentleman being asked
what he wished Tor dinner. replied, San
appetite, good company, something to
eat, and a napkinl"
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

WHOSE profession is at once the hard
st and the easiest? The musicians.
because he works when he. plays and
plays when he works.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

God judges our actions by our mo-
tives men judge u motives by our
actions.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The Severn tunnel Was CONNECTED
September 8, 1885, after thirteen wears
of hard work. 1t is p, 500 feet long.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Temperance is a tree which has con-
tentment for its root and peace for its
fruit.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The young man who bites her finger
nails and kisses her pug dog on the nose
would fall in a stony FAINT at seeing her
father nip a piece Of the butter lump
with his own knife.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
.nr1inn to Earrari I

II you are bilious, take DR.. Picrce's
pleasant Purgative Pellets, " the original
"Little Liver Pills" OF all druggists.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Study books TO know how things
ought to be, study men to know how
things are.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Our happiness does not consist in be-
ing without passions, but in having
control of them.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
FACETIE.

WEATHER INDICATIONS. - City
Boarder-"What are the weather in
d~ieatlons?"
Farmer John -'Do you mean that
you intend to take your walk this morn
ing across my sheep p%astuTe?"
City Boarder-"Well, yes, that was
the route l had laid out. 1t is a short
u to the grove. But what has that
70 do with the weather."
Farmer John-"I should say it had
a good deal to do with it."
City B0ardeT-"Indeedl"
Farmer John-"Yes, and my advice
Is to be a little kearful. When you see
the old fellow put his head down and
look sassy them's the indications
you should respect, now | tell you"
City BoardeT-"What in the world
are you talking about anyhow"
Farmer John-"The wether in
diCatiOns.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

3 months treatment for SOC. Piso's Rem.
edy for Catarrh. Sold by druggists.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

If you would be strong, conquer your
self.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

GOOD l~avoring for sauces is made by
putting half an ounce Of watercress
seed into one quart of vinegar, The
seed should be crushed before putting
it in, and it will then be soon ready for
use. Celery vinegar is made in the
same Way.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

To worship rightly is to love each
other ; each smile a hymn, each kindly
deed a prayer.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Physicians indorse Halls Hair Remover.
Its use is always attended with goodresults.
For throat and lung troubles, the most re-
liable remedy is Ayers Cherry Pectoral.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

The worst and most uncomfortable of
our ills are imaginary ones.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

CLARET CUP.-Two bottles oiicheap
claret, four bottles soda water, two
lemons, two glasses brandy and n
pound lump sugar. Mix thoroughly
and stir with a silver spoon. Cut up
the rind of the lemons, small, and slice
the inside thin. Let it stand for an
hour, and strain off the lemons after
well stirring again.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

He dimes sumptuously who dimes on
of debt
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Anger always hurts US more than the
one we get mad at.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
axe Axle Grease.

The dealer in hosiery is the only one
who really has a stockin' trade.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Adversely borrows its sharpest sting
from our Impotence.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

WHAT trade never turns to the left2
The wheelwTight.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
CONSUMPTION CURED.

No nan can be free unless he governs
himself
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Its the sickly plants that are the
most troubled by insects.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13

Nest boxes should either be thor
ouehly cleansed and whitewashed, OF
else burned and replaced by new ones
quite frequently.
The Penn's Grove record., 1886-02-13
C { FIT S!

When / say cure / do not mean merely TO stop them
for n time aud then have them return eyain, / Esean&
radical cure, Ihaye made the disease Of ftI9, EFT
iEPSY or FALLING SICKNESS n life long stndy. I
warrant my remedy to cure the worst cesea. Because
Others have failed isno reason for not now receiyingk
cure. Send at once for atreatise and Free Bottle OF
my infallibls remedy. Give Express and Post Oflce,
It costs YOU nothing for a trial, and viii cure you.
iddress pR. IT, q. ROOT Is3 Pearl St, Now York.
Southern ladies' journal. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1886-18??, 1886-11-13
News Notes.

Prince Komatsu, the uncle of the Mi
\ t,do Of Japan, with his suite, was ex-
,cted TO reach New York last week
ron San Francisco, The prince is &C
conpanied by his wife,
The colored brother has the dis
ageeabIe prospect Of the competition
. d machinery in picking cotton. But so
Hong as the machine cannot think, the
tolored cotton picker will find business
/ for busy fingers.
Wemust have our turkeys, this win
Ter, with short allowance of cranberry
sauce, if the report that three-quarters
ohe crop on the Cape was spoiled by
hefost, Saturday night, proves true,
The different political candida tes in
New York have been done into wax,
land lfelike representations of Hewitt,
Roosevelt and George may be seen at
the Eden Musee. Unlike the candi-
dates themselves, they are warranted
1 not to run.
For the first time since Mr.. Lamar
went to Washington he has taken a
whole house, and proposes to entertain
nan elaborate scale. Miss Lamar's
mother died more than two years ago,
aaShe has been living with her mar
FdSSter in Memphis, Tenn, until this
autumn.
Waen the Taylor brothers reached
|a@nUlle there were not roses enough in
uScl'y to 60 round among their sup
FI'erS The milliners sold out their
D0llclal roses, and their homemade
@Ss OF red or white paper were in de-
!. a''0, tennessee is thoroughly arous-
lne voters no longer hesitate.
Ina5 man when asked his preference
'4uNySays, 81 am for Taylor
ra s1ln'e Henry, of Battenberg, says
mt ' .~e Truth, has been considerably
,,, NJ favor with the Queen since his
|, L IL. from Darmstadt, in consequence
H., us earnest request to be excused
NJ, wearing the kilt, in which he
nnr 'l, lp' to array himself last au-
M .,,,, Inc Celtic garb certainly did
rsn r'' nlm' for he never appeared in it
] aai 5 5ot exciting the derisive comments
Southern ladies' journal. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1886-18??, 1886-11-13
Subscription s. a Year.

failed, diligently tried again. Just aft
er the close Of the war, she and her
elder sister, Miss Fannie, were sent to
Nine. Chigarry's Institute, Spruce
Street, Philadelphia, where both gradu-
ated with honor.
The reason assigned by rumor for The
change of plan in the Presidents visit to
Richmond, Thursday, by which Mrs.
Cleveland and the ladies of the cabinet
did not accompany the presidential
party, DIS at first intended, is that Miss
Winnie Davis, daughter of Jeff Davis,
had been announced to assist Mrs.
Cleveland at the reeeption.-Ex.
We think the foregoing. very unjust
to Mrs. Cleveland, as her entire course,
since her marriage, has shown her to be
more of ? woman Of the world than the
above statement would indicate.
Mrs. S. Gulick. Of New York CITY,
has in her possession portrait of Mrs.
Madison, fol which she sat 10 her aft
er she was eighty years DID, Mrs. Gull
lex says Mrs. Madison, entertained her
charmingly, and although rather pale at
the commencement OF the sitting, the
delicate beautiful color came to her
cheeks, and her complexion was like
that of child, which refuteS the idea
that she used cosmetics. The painting
shows cause neckherchief folded be-
low the conventional black velvet and
her head is crowned by the inevitable
turban, in which she always wore tiny
miniature, surrounded with pearls, of
President Madison.
Friday night last, in Louisville, Ky,
Mr.. Douglas Sherley gave an enter
Etalnment in honor of Mrs. Julia Maud
Howe. The Post says: "The invita-
tons issued were very odd, and are
equal to any productions this eccentric
gentleman has ever originated. They
are inthe shape of book, and are of
soft, white paper, with crimson border
On the front page 'Sherley Place is
printed, while on the back 1886 is seen.
On the inside the inscription is;
"An evening in honor
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe
Miss Maud Howe
Two hours before midnight"
Southern ladies' journal. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1886-18??, 1886-11-13
About Women.

Nine. Christine Nilssonis seriously i'll
with bronchitis.
| A daughter ofGeneral Buckner, the
famous Confederate, is about to adopt the
stage as profession.
Nearly 1000 Iowa women own and
direct farms. Five are lawyers and ten
ministers.
NJ, De Lesseps brought one of his
daughters to this country during his
latest visit, but left ten of his children
with their mother in France.
Miss Julia E. Dorf, who has been
employed in the United States Mint at
Philadelphia for the past thirty-six
years, died on Wednesday. During
most of the long term of service she fill
ed the responsible position of counter,
handling more money than perhaps any
otherman or woman living.
Mrs. A. T. Stewart died at eleven
O'Clock, Monday morning, the 18TH, OF
October, of congestion of the lungs and
heart trouble, On Friday she took din
ner with Mrs. Henry Hilton, and on the
way home contracted heavy cold.
Mrs. Stewart was of advanced age,
about eighty years old.
Governor Henry Lloyd and Miss Ma
Try Elizabeth Stapletort, were married at
Cambridge, Md, Monday morning. He
is the Youngest executive Maryland ever
had. He was president of the State
Senate when Governor McLane was APP
pointed minister to France and became
Governor according to the provision
| of the constitution. He is thirty-fve
years old and the bride is only eighteen.
From earliest childhood, Miss Muir
frees (Charles Egbert Craddock mind
was Of literary bent. She was pu-
pill first Of the beloved Elder Phillip S.
Fall, one of the most successful educa-
tors of Nashville, and who now lives an
octogenarian, at Frankfort, Ky. AT
one time the young girls Literary as
perations" constituted one ofthe ia nily's
stock jokes, but she seemed never dis
mayed, but persevered, and, if she