New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-02-28

pretty prattling prose, and win me troops OF
friends. vein of pOesy in his makeup - as rlcn
thing for politician as vein OF gold-beallng
quartz.
But" says the Colonel taking up huge scrap
book, though am proud of my poetry, this book
contains the cream of my literary productions IL
Is my storehOuse of fortune, nv seedbed OF promo
ton. ] call 1t my Book of Nominations Next 10
appointing a man to office the highest favor you
can confer IN politica! sense Is to nominate hn TOT
oHcc. IL Is point of honor with every polt'clan
TO reward his friends. My plan Is TO nominate every
possible man for every possible office. Not man
can be elected Governor IN the next ten years that
! have not already nominated IN the papers go
M to the GOVeTnOr-eleCt and say Shake, Gov, III
proud of yoI. | was the first man that ever hostea
your name as our standard bearer IN TINS race.
LOOK AZ TINS extract from me JOctOVh upper, tiie
first nomination You ever received, ana am inc
author of il. Governor. Then you know what q
gallant fight ] made for you throughout the cam
paign. Where the fight was thickeSt there ny ban
ner ever waved. That secures me an once carry
tins plan out larger scale. When discover u
man in any part of the Union who may by any
posslb c combination become President nominate
him forthwith in the public press-aIways writing
IN the emnlsye-olntmental style. the easy moving
gIt-edgo. peerless pufiatory language of ;he Amer
can politician. ! do them in vermlliOn and gold ana
paste the pieces in this scrapbook for ready refer
cnce. | was fortunate enough T. be IN one OF II
happieSt moods when unfurled to the breeze the
victorious banner of nv friend Cleveland. expect
Cabinet Office or Foreign Mission can assure
yOu."
Had any other man been chosen by the convcn-
ton instead of Cleveland the Colonel would have
been equally hopeful. for he had nominated them
all as his scrap-look will show. Fortunate man!
P.S Since writing the above | called upon the
Colonel and found him sad and furious
Would Won believe it, said he, the President
has actually REUSED to give me either n Cabinet
office or a Foreign Mission in the face OF the TACT
that | was the first man in my State to nominate
him. | am astonished; astounded, pctriied; All my
hopes blasted The party will 90 to pieces, the
country be ruined Doesn't he know what he
owe; for snch services; II the man who dominates
sir there is no longer any virtue IN rolt,cal me
Everybody is at sea. the world IS virtually at an
end. There Is no going on upon any othcr 1a,,s
What Will entItlc man TO Office II that don't My
head swIms The times are ont of Joint. The
whole srencc of politics has become the baseIesS
fabric Of vision. What shall do' The once
now hold has been abolished, and shall he left to
perish in the midst of plenty. Republics are I'M
grateful"
p S. No. 2. The Colonel has rcganed his
equanimItg. 4 grateful country. while Withholding
part of the reward due to his Distinguished ser
vices, has at last offered some cOmpcn-aton to his
wounded spirit. Though no Cabinet office nor
Foreign Mission was offered to him, though he saw
Others hearing away these coveted prizes the spark
of patriotism was not wholly eXtingushcd IN h :
generous bosom. He has been rendered and though
beneath his deserts lar beneath ms honest cXpecta
tions, he has magnanmousy accented the Office OF
Inspector of Pork at Jerusalem. What an honor 20
Jerusalem Where within the limits of this great
Republic could another man of such distinguished
abilities he found who would be willing at the be-
hest of party To fOrrgO his Just and lofty eApccta-
tiOns and 90 without murmur To serve that veneer
able city IN porcine capacity We venture TO
say. nowhere. All honor TO him, then! While such
patriots abound the country IS safe. Let INN go
East He will come Wost again with laurcls OH h:S
brow. The path to the White lIOuso from JeruSa-
lem is straight frIm Ohio or Buffalo. We pre-
dict-hut we suppress the vision. We however
nominate him for the next President but one and
we feel sure that if elected he will never forget the
man that frst non mated him and this scribe VIII
be a Cabinet officer. We hcSpcak for him a dinner
at DelmoncO's on his way out and safe reLurn 20
the hosOms of his admrIng countrymcn. TO tho
nruscs. MarOntes, Turks. Bcdouins, Latlns'
Greeks, SyriHns. Assyrans. Jews Sanarians.
Dutchmcu. DTRgomanS. saloon kccperS, etc, OF
Jerusalem would SAY " VI AXE the most of Colonel
Watkins wnilc Won have him. for take hun all IN
all YOU will never look upon his like again.