St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-11-09

terday morning the face 2of nature in the
vicinity of Norris seemed to have suddenly
become afflicted with Saint VituS dance.
and crockery and glassware was tossed
around the dining room of the Yellowstone
Park hotel in the most promiScuOus man
ner. At Norris there was wholesale
wreck of windows and plaster.
If has been known for a long time that
the blood of Excelsior geyser was bad, and
it has been troubled for years with break
ing out that very much resembled rash. At
one time it was proposed to turn barrel
of blood purifier down the geyser, but the
proposition was finally abandoned. For
the past two or three years the geyser has
appeared to be in an unusually amiable
mood and there have been no external
eruptiOnS noticeable about it. but of late
it has been rather careless regarding Its
diet, and this may have something TO do
with the fresh breaking out. 1t may be.
however, that Col. Pat DOMAIN is in the park
somewhere. If this is so, and it can be
proven that the geyser was cognizant of
the fact. it can be easily explained why it
became demonstrative.
There is nothing so hard to handle and
sOothe as an unadulterated Western geyser.
1t is the only thing that it is impossible to
bulldOZe. 1t is full of conceit and sour
breath. and if man attempts to renI0n-
strate with it it Immediately turns the hose
on him, and in this event the man almost
invariably gets hot.
The first time that there is any record of
Excelsior geyser having erupted is in the
spring of So A COWBOY was passing the
geyser, and when near it began to sing
when the Robins Nest Again" The
geyser busted wide open and filled the air
with red fire and incoherent mutteringS.
The cowboy became frightened and took to
his heels. but he was chased by large lava
stream that came from the mouth of the
geyser and was Overtaken and swallowed up
Nothing more was heard from the geyser
until the fall of 80. when one day tired
look overSpread its cOuntenance and with a
dark blue howl it eXpectOrated hot ashes
and clinkerS all over about eight acres OF
firSt-claSs deer raising soil.
In 10 it INDUCED in song and dance
and threw up one or two remnants of last
year cowboy, the rear exposure OF Mon
tana brOncho and a copy of the Declaration
of Independence. This gave scientists the
first knowledge they ever had OF what
geysers exist on. When man of ordinary
education runs across a Sailow-c0mpieX-
Toned geyser situated in the midst of a
barren stretch Of country that even the sun
hates to shine Oh. its pretty hard to tell
how it gets living,
There is some talk by the Northern Pa
cifc officials of having the geyser removed
from the park as it is liable to toss some
of the natural curioSities down into the
Southern country where they will boom the
Union Pacific road. j. n. Strong. the
amiable Boniface who runs the hotel in the
Yellowstone park, says the geyser is get
ting old and childish and fretful. and it
ought to be removed to some home for the
aged and dccrepit. 1t has got so that it
can't bear to have people stand around and
gawp at it, 1t has quiz wearing low-neck
dresses and short sleeves, as the charms
that made it so attractive in days agOne
have become sere and somewhat yellow.