Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-06-10
Anmaruns department.

oLDeIk ASI11ON Ell n ~
''Say, what became of that barrel of soft
soap"
Clerk-"Don't know"
"That's mighty strange, for it was sitting
here"
"Oh! you mean that pale looking stuff ?"
eyes,"
81 sold it for lard"
"Did, eh ?"
eyes, sir"
"Did anybody kick? ?"
"Not exactly about the soap, but one man
came along and said that the last flour he
got here made him slobber like a horse in a
white clover pasture, but-here some
one."
Old-timer enters-''Say, got any more o.
that lard?"
"No, sir, just out"
"Wush you had some more. Makes the
best bread T've eaten sense 1 was q boy.
WY it jolts like bein' punched with a rail.
That's the sort O. viddults I like-somethin'
I can feel. Wife don't like it, but then she
amt been ulster good livin'."
"Well order you some more"
"Wush you would. You may talk er
bout your cotton-seed oil, an all that, but
old fashion, lard is the best stuff fur cookin'
purposes after all. It's nachul, an nobody
has ever improved on natur' yit. Wall,
good mornin'. Don't furgit to order the
lard. Say, I wouldn't care if it was a leetle
stronger. "-ArkansaU Traveller.
HE MUST Go.-There is a postmaster in
a village not fifty miles from Detroit who
has got to 60. Some of the patrons of the
Office were in the city yesterday to see
about it. They want to load an "ofensive
partisan" shotgun and fire it off at him
from a distance of ten feet. Said one of
the committee:
"For one thing, he's got 80 high toned
that he will no longer lick on stamps, and
for another, he don't seem to care whether
we get any letters or not. The other day l
went in and asked him if there was a letter
for me from York State.
"'No,' said he.
"'Will you look?' says I.
" Il know there isn't says he.
But it's from my brother William, and
his children have got the measles. I know
there's a letter here, for I dreamed of fish
last night
"'Nothing for you,' he says.
"'But William must have written
"'May be he did,
"'That's curious says I, for William
allus writes me once a MONTH
with that he goes off without another
word, and I didn't git the letter till ten
days afterwards. He hung on to it to spite
me, you see, and I'm going to have him
cut of that if it costs a cow"
WEEPING AT H PANORAMA.-Among
the crowd present at the battle panorama
the other evening was a boy about fifteen
years of age. He had been gazing around
him for about fifteen minutes, when he be-
gan to weep. The fact was noticed, and di-
rectly a gentleman said:
"Ah! poor lad. This painting revives
some episode of grief in his life. My boy,
why do you weep?"
"'Ca-ca-cause, sir" was the broken reply
as his tears fell faster.
"Does the sight of this battle move you?"
"Y-yes.".
"Did your father lay down his life on this
field ?"
"No."
"But you lost a relative of some sort?"
"Not-not that I know Of"
"Then it must be these bloody scenes that
overcome you, poor child"
"N-no, sir. leone in here on the money
which dad gave me to buy molasses with,
and it has just struck me that the whole
Union army can't stop him from givin' me
a bimawful whalin' when I git home. l
reckon that Teller over there on a stretcher
is me-after dad gifts through bringin' up
his reserves. "-Derot Free Press.