The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1886-10-08
NO. f.

new table-linen and new crockery, IL
she would only leave OF weeping,
which was maRifestly upsetting TO his
nerves and made him feel the brute he
was, and finally the shower passed
over under the pledge of a new silk
and new hymn and psalm book, articles
that she had long coverted.
Mindful of the fruits of victory, she
immediately began tour of inspecton
and enumeration of damages, wtfuG
her husband stood meekly by pocket
book iii hand. and noted her demands.
Meantime a strange odor pervaded the
kitchen and saluted her nostrlls, va
rious inquiries failed to reveal any
esuse therefor. GeOrdie Thought 1t
might be q new brand of tobacco he
was smoking, for Donald, down at the
shop, had gotten out of twist and sent
up a paper of Cavendfsh instead. Sud
denly she threw open the cuPboard-
door, when stood revealed the forgot
ten dishes of half-cooked, but now de-
eaying, mouldy, and fermenting riceE
s'George McTavish! what the world
does this meanP" exclaimed his spouse
between wonderment and anger, ac-
companied by q warning sniff.
"Hum-I- ah - oh - the dickens!
Hang it all, Sadie, was making some
rice-soup the other day, and the grocer
made a mistake and put up new
kind of rice-the South American
think they call it-and it
"'Why, George! 1 thought you knew
better than thati You put too much in
the got-1that wa, the trouble"
mo, I did not! It was a new kind
South American, Brazilian, or some-
thing of that sort"
"NOnsense, George McTavish! DOn't
tell me! You just used too much5
that's all. You can't deceive me with
your humbug. You know and / know
that YOU used too much ricel Why,
YOU did not even have the sense to
wash it, and the dirt sticks out all
OVERT
"Confound it, Sadiel Do you think
/ don't know how to make rice-SouPP'
THAT l do! and, what is more, l
know you don't''
But tell you it was new kind
sFudgel Tell me nothing. Have
not got eyesP You got too much;
that is all there is about it, And if
you say any more, I'll tell the story
where it will do the most good. Your
old cronies would be only too glad to
get hold of the story to pay you off for
old scores, after all the Boosting you
have done. You a cook-a man that
can toast poor little trout on bit of
bark, or Toasts a potato in the ashes,
and calls that cooking!" and her nose
assumed an angle of forty-five, calcu-
lated to express alike contempt and
disdain.
This was too much. Geordie came
over to my quarters for consolation,
acknowledging himself beaten at every
turn. The joke was good one, but it
must be reserved for his own telling.
And SO / was sworn to secrecy, while
he declared he would yet convince
Mistress S, that she was in the wrong
and he did!
A month or so later Mistress Sadie
informed her lord that if he would
provide the rice, she would undertake
q soup that would prove satisfactory,
adding, with a spice of Mother Eve,
"And I'll show you how to make it,
George, so that you won't get caught
in nasty scrape, like that last again"
"All right, Sadie! Live and learn,
you know; and really that did appear
to be a bad fiuke Of mine" And off he
went to the grocer, where pound Of
rice was got and deposited in the capa-
cious recesses of his coat; then another
ordered, of like dimensions, and placed
in the opposite pocket. Back he came,
and marching into the kitchen one
package was delivered into his wife's
hands, with: ''Now show me how you
do it, Sadie"
She tore open one corner of the
package, after the manner of her sex,
shook little into n tea-cup, washed it,
drained, and emptied into the pot.
"Poohl' said her spouse: II don't
see any thing strange about that. You
wash the rice, which don't matter in
the least anyway, and use quite bit
more than / did" And as she turned
to place the package i'm the cupboard,
he whipped out It's fellow, that was
already opened, and poured the entire
contents into the kettle, then retired to
the garden to await developments.
In time a loud scream, proceeding
from the kitchen, announced the sue
cess of the plot He rushed back to
find his wife standing before the fire,
with uplifted hands, amazed and help
less. watching the rice pouring over
the top of the pot and travelling over
the stove in all directions. "Oh, George
ricep' she exclaimed, as
she sank into a chair. Geordie prompt
ly seized the offending utensil, and
sent it flying where it had gone once
before under like circumstances, and
then turning to his wife, with a
air, said: There now,
Sadiel | hope you will believe me anOth-
er time. / told you it was a new kind
of ricer'
For three years Geordie kept the secret
well. But one evening before an assem-
bled company he told the story as here
narrated. When he begun, Sadie" was
was no joke so far as
She knew. But when he told how he
placed the extra pound in the pot and
the result it wrought, she burst into
laughter and shrieked: "May / neverl
The fool was-I believed him. It'd