davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04
Kosciusko Murphy say, Gus, d

Kosciusko Murphy say, Gus, do
you believe in horoscopes?
Gus De Smith-No, l believe it is
all nonsense about horoscopes.
Murphy-Well, l don't. l am sat-
tisfed that all the girls to whom l
have been engaged were born under
the influence of the crab, for they all
60 back on me.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

didn't you have company last
night?" asked Maude of Fannie.
eyes; George Cobb was here" 81
bet he put his arm around you," said
Maude, with confidence. "No, he
didn't either" was the indignant re-
sponse. Honest, now, Fannie, didn't
he ?" persisted the girl. "No, he
didn't, tell you mother was in the
room all the time Merchant Trav-
eler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

III beg your pardon, sir" said Mr..
Swell to friend, with whom he was
holding heated argument. II beg
your pardon, sir; ought to under
stand this matter better than you. 1
am a graduate of two colleges, sir"
"You remind me-" replied his
friend, "very much of a calf my faith
er used to own who had the milk from
two cows"
"Why, how was that ?"
"He was a very large calf."-Lynn
Union.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

A ten.year.old Boston girl, says the
Record, asked her teacher the other
day if India was our father countryjust
as England was our mother country.
"No, indeed" was the answer. "Why
do you ask that?" Nothing, only l
sec it's Farther India OH the map
EX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

"Were you ever caught in a sud-
den squall ?" asked an old yachtsman
of a worthy citizen. "Well, / guess
so !" responded the good man. 81
have helped bring up eight babies. -
N. Y. Independent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

Mamie: "What sort of dog is
Tiny?' Sadie: "Oh, Tiny is an ex-
pectorator" Mamie: II don't think
] know the breed" Sadie: "Spitz,
you know. ."--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

A Scotch maiden, upon her lover
remarking II think I'll marry thee,
Jane" replied II would be muckle
obleeged to ye if ye would."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

A little black boy stood with his
small sister at the edge of a water
lily pond in Fl rida. "Ephium," F"
said the girl, "what makes so many
cat-tails grow in dis heah pon'?"
"Doan you know ?" inquired Ephium;
why they grow up kittens that people
hez drowned in de pom, of course. -
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

Ma" said a little Sacramento
street boy, "is it right for anybody to
sit down on folks that can't see r.
Certainly it is not. What made
you ask that question p
"Cause l heard pa tell Ned San
ders that he always straddles the
nd."-California Maverick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04
WIT AND HUMOR.

An appropriate dress for the bad
boy-cuffs.-Rambler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

\. VI. I. NJ MI - y
uixed train Leases st. Ignace at 90 A. 81, ar
r,yes WaTouette $40 p. NJ. Leaves Marquette 90
a. a.. arrives 81. Ignasa IS r. NJ
CONFECTIONERY Via N. y. Co.'S boat with Mich
iaan Central and Grand Rapids q Indiana ralls
the Detroit 4 Cleveland Steam Navigation COM
pany for Detroit, Cleveland and all points Ia the
isave 81 Ignaee Monday and wednesday morn
ines, Thursday and Saturday nights lll With boat
lines for sault sc. Marie, Chicago, milwaukee, and
Houehton, Hancock, Calumet, etc., and points ON
Chicago q Northwestern railway.
Standard Central time. ~Daily. Daily except
Sunday. +Daily, except Saturday.
A. WATSON, H. w. ALLEN,
Gen'l sup't, Genl Pass. * T'k't Agt.
Marquette Mich. Marquette, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04
WIn. p. MAIDEN, M ID.

Physician, Surgeon, Gyn@col ogist, Etc.,
Late Asst. Surgeon U. s. Army; Examining Sur
geon for u S. Pensioners, and all the principal Life
Insurance Co.'s. Residence and office on Second
ST., nearly opposite the Union House.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04
Detroit, Bay City & Alpena R'R'
Time Table No. Z.

All trims run by the Ninetieth Meridian on Gen.
tral Standard time.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

George had been holding his girl
on his lap for over two hours, and us
she weighed Il hundred and ninety
odd pounds he was feeling a little bit
tired, but he was too much of a gen
tleman to tell her so.
George, DEAR" she murmured, soft
ly, "are you having pleasant call y
Delightful, darling" he respond
ed family.
"And you are not sorry that we are
to be married so soon ?"
"No, indeed !"
"And you think | am a real nice
girl ?" she continued, lovingly.
"Nice girl?" repeated George, ell
Enthusiastically. "Nice girl doesn't be-
gin to express it. | think you arc an
immense girl."-Drake's Magazine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

81 understand that you are going
to Chicago t'-day," said Noodles to u
young lady acquaintance.
"Yes," she replied, II depart at
4:30 +. NJ"
Would you permit me to escort
you to the train ?" eagerly asked the
youth.
Really" said the blushing miss,
"it would not be right for you to go
to so much trouble
"Oh, indeed" said Noodles, cour-
tesying profoundly, "it would give
me the greatest pleasure to see you
off,"
Then he felt like going behind the
house and kicking himselfvery, very
afd.--Scissors.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04
MICHIGAN CENTRAL

The Niagara Falls ROmte.
Arrival and departure of trains noted below as
follows:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

Dav and evening Express daily, Sunday except
cd, Night l. Spress daily, Saturdays excepted.
w pIroo1. vs, L. A. McEACHRAW,
GU D.. Z, ticket Agt., Local Ag't,
'e" "s' Chicago, III. Alger, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-08-04

Boys Suits, ages 10 to II.
13 dollar suits for $50
II dollar suits for 750
8 dollar So is for 6.
$3.50 suits for s.
6 dollar suits
Hats that Formerly Sold
3 dollars 1.50.
s275 125
$3.50 /.
dollars rs
$3.50, 70
dollar, 60
IS cents, 40 cents
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17

THE OLEOMARGARINE TAN.

During the heaied debate in the lower
House, on the question OF taxing the
home product of oleomargarine, or but
terine, it was difficult TO sift out the tell
ing points made for or against the mea-
sure, from the great sea of argument en-
ployed But now, as the bill, as passed
by the House, taxing this product five
cents on each pound, is before the
Senate, the opponents OF the measure
have chance to be heard, and some OF
their points are strong ones. Professor
Babcock, Of the Boston Board of Health,
a scholar whose reputation is interna-
tional, testified yesterday before the Sem
ate Committee on Agriculture, who have
the bill in charge, that he believed that
oleomargarine was a healthful prepara-
tion, and the statement OF George II. T.
Webster, OF Armour's great packing
houses in Chicago, that the discovery OF
oleomargarine had increased the value OF
each head OF cattle in the country So, by
reason of the increased value of the fats
utilized in the manufacture OF oleomar-
garine oil, is one well Calculated to attract
the attention of cattle-growers throughout
the country. The main fight against
oleomargarine was made by the dairy
interests, ON the ground that it forced the
genuine article out of the market or
down to a ruinous competitive price.
Babcock's s statement being taken Tor truth,
it is serious question whether the
action OF the lower House in favor OF the
dairy interest was not against the interest
OF the cattle growers. In all the thckly
settled countries of the old world substi-
tutes for many articles of food have be-
come an imperative necessity, and with
the great annual influx OF immigrants
and our natural increase, they will be-
come SO here. If this product then, be-
ing clean and healthy one, and sold for
what it really is, meets the wants OF the
poorer people, and is within their means,
it does not seem good policy to ride it
with discriminating tax in favor OF gem
uine butter, when the whole supply
OF the latter article, which is
free from adulteration, is not half
sufficient to supply the demand
Mr.. Webster, who represents firm EN-
ploying thousands of men and millions
Of capital, and to which the fats used for
the making OF Oleomargarine, are a
large source of profit, earnestly invited
the committee to inspect the places
where it is made, and such is not the
action OF man who is afraid of the JUS
tice OF his cause. There are some we'll
known scientists on the Senate COM
mittee now holding the bill, and for the
reasons given above, their report will be
looked for with interest by the poorer
classes, and those who cater to their
wants,
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
THE TREASURY WATCHDOG.

The denomination yesterday, by the
Democrats of the Fourth Congressional
District OF Indiana, OF Judge VIM. S.
Holman TO succeed himself in the next
Congress, is tantamount to his election,
and the people OF the country, regard
less OF political leanings will rejoice
thereat, for they know that all that one
thoroughly honest and able man can do,
will be done to protect the peoples
money from being squandered on hare
Drained and often questionable pretexts.
For twenty-one years Judge Holman has
occupied a seat in the lower House, and
his voice and vote from the first and all
the time, has been menace to all who
have ever tried to work in riders OF Il
suspicious character, or sought TO pro-
mote their own interests at the expense
OF the people. OF the many names Of
eminent men that adOrn the list OF the
present Congress, none is more highly
honored than that OF VIM. s, Holman,
OF Indiana. The Boston Globe, a journal
noted for its keen watchfulness OF all
things Congressional, pays the following
compliment to Mr.. Holman and the
Hon. Sam Randall:
Mr.. Randall and Mr.. Holman are both
good Democrats and honest men. Either
one of them has done more TO help on prac-
tical reforms, TO save the peoples money,
protect the national treasury from Republi-
can raids, and hunt down corruption and
fraud than all the professional civil service
reformers put together And the more
they are abused the more they will be
endeared to the honest and incorruptible
masses of the plain people.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
VERMONT STATESMEN.

The Republican State Convention of
Vermont met yesterday at Montpelier,
and resolved that, "the Democratic party
is unfit to be trusted with the govern
ment of nation" II it had been n
question of boned shad or basswood
breakfast bacon which these statesmen
were handling, the country could look on
in suppressed admiration at their Won
derful logical skill on such an all-absorb-
ing topic, but when it is considered that
the men who passed the foregoing reso-
luton, have for twenty-five years lived
under Republican rule, and in all that
time have been forced to chase hedge
hogs, jackass rabbits, tumble bugs and
Vermont snipe (Mephitis Americdnd), in
order to exc out Il miserable existence
with the money obtained as bounties,
and have harnessed the noble red man
to bob sled to haul their native granite
out of the way of DIR. Tanner crop,
which is produced by mixing three
fourths guano with the surface rock OF the
State, and yields six quarts TO the acre,
it strikes the average mind that they
would be in better business if they passed
upon resolution something like this:
"What are we alive for, anyhow, and
upon whom does the awful responsibility
of our births rest?" Great is the Repub-
lican party OF Vermont, and Morrill, is
its prophet. 1t causes the Democratic
heart to sink with apprehension, when it
is remembered that Vermont's two cleo
toral votes will be given to Jim Blaine
in the next election, but rs all calamities
have n streak OF benefit to the sufferer,
it will be pleasant TO Mr.. Cleveland to
know that such inordinate political wind
bags, had no hand in electing him. The
Democratic party is composed of men
who, like all other good men, would be
worthless if they had not enemies, and
they are willing that the good men OF the
country should Judge them by the quail
ity OF their enemies, and what an exceed
ingly high standard they will reach,
when the standard OF the Vermont Re-
publicans, as enemies, is considered? Go
on with the music in your green hills and
green pastures, blow your diminutive
tootle horn and wake the echoes OF your
green mountains, but don't intiict on a
suffering country, the great yacuity OF
your green minds.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
HARTINGToN's MANIFESTO.

Another powerful opponent OF Glad
stone, and leader OF the Liberals, Lord
harrington, has published his manifesto
to the electors of his district, and like
Lord Derby, he handicaps his position
by the admission that he regrets the loss
of confidence of majority of the Liberal
Council. He then proceeds to make a
specious plea for support, wherein the
personal pronouns and My are thick as
bristles on a hogs back, and equally as
ornamental. His opinion is given, that
Home Rule is a question less of justice
and right than OF expediencv. He ad-
mits that there is great desire in Ire
land for the control OF her own affairs,
and falsely states that within certain lin
its, the Liberal party recognizes it as a
reasonable claim. The falsity OF the
statement lies in the fact that he, as
powerful factor among the Liberals, by
his voice and pen, did all in his power to
kill the growth OF the sentiment in his
party, that it was a reasonable claim,
| anu HOW SeckS W Cldlln WIiI iitic EOou
there was in the friendships OF some oil
his party to the measure. Lord lIarting-
ton can rest assured that the day oi
speciolis reasoning and fiimsy pretexts is
passed for the British voter, and that the
moral influence OF other nations, far out.
weighs in their minds the prejudiced ap
peals of himself and other aristocrats
and that the general enlightenment o.
the age has penetrated the hitherto hid
den recesses OF the public conscience
and given them the knowledge which
decides right from wrong, and the moral
courage to stand by the right for the sake
of the right. The average British electoi
is being educated up to the standard o
the times and his surroundings, and al
the sophistry of all the prejudiced tongues
in the Empire, will not bulge him from
a conviction OF right, when once enter
tanned. Harrington overshot his mari
when he made his appeals to their preju
, dices, and tied them up in specious yer
biage, thereby hoping to deceive the mel
, he addressed. Like Lord Derby's appeal
, it will recoil on his own head with ten
fold pOWer
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
THE BUNKER H1LL ANNIVERSARY

To-day is the anniversary OF the heroic
defense OF Breeds Hill, in Charlestown,
Massachusetts, by few raw militia men
under the command of Colonel Prescott,
against the serried masses of the British
troops, and at that fight, it is recorded,
world. Away from the sacred precincts
of the grand shaft which marks the spot,
the patriotism of a people largely foreign
born, cools in its ardor, and the grandest
and most important event in the history
OF our national struggle for Independence,
is overlooked or entirely ignored. Though
the text books in the common schools
OF the country contain a short descrip-
tion of the fight, and the causes which
led to it, very few, il any teachers west
OF the Missouri river, will cause the
cleaning page to be read, and its i'm
mortal lesson to be treasured i'll the
hearts and minds OF Young America,
simply because the teachers, like thou
sands OF other people, will not remember
the day, and the holy memories associ-
ated with it, When the mind reverts to
the heroic action and indomtable will of
Prescott and his handful of men,-all
fresh from the plow or the workshops
in marching to position almost within
hearing OF the enemy, and in one night
throwing up redoubts with their hands,
bayonets, sabers, anything they could
get, confronting the whole British
land and naval forces at sunrise, with a
position which plainly said, war to the
knife, the fire of patriotism is kindled
anew, and all men OF all climes, who
have found home and a country in the
United States feel that the heroic sacri
flee made that June day, when nothing
but lack of ammunition forced the pa
triot band to retreat, was made for them
and their children for all time. No action
history tells, had the significance OIL
effect this one had, and to the
shame OF Americans, be it said, none
is so little reverenced. There: Ii
the Cradle of Liberty, to-day, however
the people OF massachusetts will assem-
BILE, and after returning thanks TO th'
Omnipotent, their orators will fire anew
The hearts OF her patriotic people, ant
thousands will visit the historic spot t,
drop tear to the memory OF the heroes
who met their death that the countr,
might live to be home for the op
pressed OF all nations. In the scrambl,
for wealth and political power in thes,
degenerate days, the binding links il
memory's chain are allowed to rust an,
rot, but it is a pleasant thing to know
that there are yet thousands OF men il
all parts Of the country, whose hearts G
out to the memory of the heroes Q
Bunker Hill, and who can with a flush Q
honest, patriotic pride, repeat the poet
lnes
FIFTY millions bless that sire
And sword of Bunker Hill.
Aye, fifty millions bless that sire
And sword of Bunker Hill.'
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
DIR. MACLENNAN
Treats Successfully

All Broken Down Constitutions, Nervous and
General Debility, Weak spines, Prolapsus aud
private nature or otherwise brought on either
by abuse or excess, Diseased Liver Kidneys,
stomach, Spleen, Heart, Lungs, Throat, Head,
Weakness of the Limbs, Weak Back, Weak
Eyes, Dyspepsia, Rheumatism, Asthma, Bron-
chius, Deafness, Diabetes, Epilepsy, Consump-
many other Chronic and Painful Diseases, too
numerous to he mentioned,
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
CHARLES CROCKER, the railroad million
aire. cured OF rheumati SIN In three treatments


aire, cured of rheumatism in three treatments.
PROFESSOR d. GONZALEZ was given up by
Paralysis; was carried perfectly helpless TO Dr.
MacLennan and cured, now says: I'm less than
one month was enabled to resume my occu-
patton as professor of music and yiolinist at
the Tivoli Opera House, and ever since (for
over three years. have continued in good
health, without the slightest return of my
weakness or disease"
DIR. HENRY SLADE says: MY case was con-
sidered incurable by the best physicians, but
DR.. MacLennan restored me the use of my
limbs in less than twenty minutes, being par
alyzed for over four months"
DIR. ]. wILMHURST, NJ. D.. NJ. r.. c. S., now at
Abbotsford House, says: my hearing is com
pletely restored by DR.. MacLennan's manipu-
lation alone"
REV. A. c. GILES, Mendocino, California,
says: "The effect which your treatment has on
me is truly wonderful. Altogether, feel like
a new man"
DIR. ]. L. WILDER, the noted dentist Is Third
street says: ~ would not now be here had il
not been for DR.. Mae"
Rev THOMAS S. GRIFFITH, Nortonville
writes: II am much pleased at the sudden
change in my brothers health
OF Nervous Prostration says: After four days
treatment was entirely relieved. have now
II good appetite and feel we'll"
MISS EMMA JONES, San Leandro Cal, for
six years crippled invalid, unable to stand or
walk, given up by over a dozen doctors, took
two weeks treatment OF DR.. MacLennan and
recovered.
MIR. e. W, KENNEDY, Cloverdale, proprietor
of the stage route 10 the GeyseTs, daughter
cured Of spasms by DT. MacLennan, after the
doctors had pronounced herc incurable.
MIR wAJRATU canitoli.t Nayada pit,,
came to Dr. MacLennan on two Crutches, and
returned home in eight days well man.
MIR. J. S. BURIINGAME left Eureka, Nevada,
on a stretcher, After taking few treatments
OF Dr, MacLennan, he returned well man.
SAN JOSE
This is to certify that / have been deaf in my
left ear since childhood, having no recollection
of ever hearing sound from it. | was also
partially deaf in my right ear | went TO see
Dr. MacLennan in his office in Tantau Block
who, to my great joy, instantly restored my
hearing. 10 me and my friends 1t seems like
miracle, c. L. LAKE,
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
$1,000
Will be given for any of
them that are not genuine.


OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL)
OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, :
SAN FRANCISCO, March IS, 1SSi.)
Hon. r. f.. Jones-MY DEAR SIR: ! have Just
received your letter of the 18TH DR.. Mac Len
nan has wonderful power. God knows what it
is-Galvanism, Magnetism, Electricity or Spir-
itualism-I do not know what! But he was of
tainly try try him him il were in W Your place. He has
worked some wonderful cures within my
knowledge. l do not pretend to understand
tne lorce ne h mses nor y ao ihK ne iS mse,n IN
haustion, or any Nervous Affection, including
Paralysis, think he is very effective.
Respectfully, Z. G. MARSHALL
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17

(,ALANTHE LODGE NO. 3, X. OF P.-REG.
Ia As,, uiST ip conventions every Monday, at Castle
Visiting knights madewelcome.
- j. f. TAYLOR, G. G.
Salt Lake evening Democrat. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1885-1887, 1886-06-17
Received.

Two car-loadsof Furniture, new, stylish
and cheap. Fancy Tables, Chairs, etc.
BARRATT Bros.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1886-01-05

making. And even in their case the disclosure of
some chemical truth. the simplifying of
some hitherto difficult costly stage of the pro.
oess Of IN tnufActure, may in single instant upset
the most elaborate calculations, turn the most per-
feet and expensive machinery into 'old iron,"
aud iegaIe the most AruuUu-l y-acquired eIperl
euca 10 the lumbeT-loit of tue past The discovery
of absdriH, the colonring principle of the madder
root among the endless series of products derived
from tue decomposition and decomposition Of the
constituents OF coal tar. has summarily expunged
the madden plant tTsbiT tHetOTial from among
the cultivated crops of Europe. 1t no longer pays
to evolve by laborious cultivation u substance pro-
durable by certain definite chemical reactions, in
unlimited quantity. from the Cheapest and most
abundant VI sources. Whether it will ever be pos
siole Ia create pure suglr-sueeharOSe the learned
call lt-In similar way by chemical synthesis,
remains to be proved. But the discovery lately
made at Lyons, IN France, of a method of convert
ing giEcOse or grape-sugar into stcchlross by the
Application OF electricity certainly appears to tend
III that direction. Glucose Is the result of the
action Of dilute sulphurlc acid on starch. any
fOrm OF vegetable nore, such sawdust, cotton
waste rags, &c, that capable OF conversion into
starcn BY tue same reagent. 1t Is even now manu-
factured In enormous Quantities for tue of
brewers and dIstllers, and tue pc ition 1t will
claim as a prominent source Of sIeehdTose cry
stilllue sugar Will be mainly dependent on the
cost Of the new converting process. The apple
atlUn of electricity / the refining of raw sugars
AS IN the new American process, has 80 far stood
the economic test. Should the Lyons process,
based On tue same natural force, prove, extend
ed thai, To pay" IN the commercial sease-thAt
Is, prove cheaper than the extraction of the sugar
naturally formed III the sugar c4ne-the latter will
lose the pTe-enlnence 1t has hitherto enjoy ed AS
/ the best and cheapest source of the universal
s"eetener; and NJ the same time enormous i'm
/ pef1s will be gwen to the cultivation of wheat,
maze, the common and the sweet pot ITO, the sage
palm, mandioc root and other starch-yieldinR
plans all oser the world.