Daily Republican., 1886-08-26

there was but one whole nose lett In
the crowd, land that belonged to the
|,
Chawley-"Who's that old GENTLE
man you nodded to, Fwedy" Fwed-(
which The old chap over thereS
Oh, that's father of mine"
Pat O'Flaherty said that his wife
was very urgrateful, for when
married her she hadn't rag to her
back. and now she's covered with
EN-"
Ingomisca-tYou look very like
Senator F., John" John (delghtedly) |
sob, do l? lie he smartp" lingo
misca-'I don't know. He doesn't
look So"
A husband telegraphed to his wife:
"What have you for breakfast, and
how is the baby?" The answer came:
"Buck cakes and measles
AT French restaurant: "Here,
waiter, it seems to me this tarbot is not
quite as fresh as the one you had last
Sunday" Pardon, monsieur, it's the
very same"
An exchange contains an article
headed "How a Journalist Outwitted
a Queen" The journalist, we suspect,
swung the king. We have seen it
done frequently.
"Ah, john" she said, just before
marriage, II fear am not worthy OF
you. You are such good man."
l'Never mind, Martha; I'll change all
that after the wedding.
| Tom Pittman says the first time he
went counting he felt as il pink angel
had hauled him down rainbow with
q piece of chain lightning right smack
into pile OF down.
"Why don't you mount clean col
lar, Brown l mount one three times
. a day." "Yes,' replied Brown to the
. staggering Jones. "but every ones
I mother isn't washerwoman."
:. "Henry, you ought to be ashamed
!, Ito throw away bread like that. You
lmay want it some day." "Well,
j mother, would l stand any better
o chance of getting it then should l cal
|, lit now?"
8 Disconnected wife-If had known
3 that l should have to work 80 hare
after I was married l should have re-
: NAMED single. Husband-I though
= the way you worked to get me you
:. liked to work.
v" 1t may be going along all right we
> with Grover and frankie, but wal
T until his first collar button flies of
d Then will be the time for the family
''!jar peddler to step in the door.
nj Eyes, sir" said the sailor, II hav
/. iseen a whale that could swallow
boat" "Oh, that's nothing" said tn
landsman, 81 have seen small mai
s who could swallow a schooner"
a. 1t is announced that no quarter is t
: be given the Apaches. That is un
8. necessary, as the soldiers do not ap
y pear to get near enough to them II
Il give them dime.
I'll The Oleomargarine bill is causin
ise Ian immense amount of talk. If the
could only get some that was mad
: early last summer, few pounds OF
N would be strong enough to carry I'll
10 TO bill through both houses and thin
; Ireading unaided.
:. A persohsl item says that Nil
jerks, daughter of the ex-Assistal
Secretary of the Treasury is "going
marry eight millions. - She will ha'
to hustle around pretty lively. Fe
~ single ladies ever look forward to sue
record as this.
"Where are you geing?" she sal,
US her husband started to go out at Il
end of the first act "Oh, no pla
much" he replied, nonchalantly.
notice the curtain has taken a dro
Il and | thought little OF doing Il
same thing myself
v. MA, has aunty got bees in Ii
J mouth9" mo; why do you ask SUI
question:" "Cause that little maj
ei with a heap of hair on his fac
catched hold 70 her, and said he W
~ going to take the honey out of Ii
lips; and she said: We'll, ma
ye haste"
They were talking about certa
m railroad man who is not the most aft
Ible person in the world. "Pshaw
, 81 said one she is a regular old hen
course he isl was the prompt q
lswer, land he can lay more railro
q track than any man in the country"
ca "Why that look of sadness, sire
queried Dan. "Did | look sad
IT, asked Grover. II tried to prevent n
looks from exposing my real feeling
but it was hard, very hard, Dan,
Al give up my night key" "Say I
more, sire; know exactly what y
nd feel"
A small boy in Maine listened q
is murely to the story of Samson's tyi
the firebrands to the tails of foxes a
he then sending them through the Phil
tines corn, and at the conclusion
the narrative asked innocently. EAU
tie, did it pop?"
A man in Pawtucket recently ma
r duplication for insurance on buildi
IA |situated in village where there "
no fire engine. He was asked: owl
. are the facilities in your village for
. tinguishing fires2" .'Well, it RAJ
sometimes, he replied with great 81
1plicity.
al Madam was recounting that her h
GA band was i'll the night before and
e3s was necessary to send for doctor a
o. O'Clock in the morning. "But thoul
so you had doctor in the house, yC
~ 70 eldest son." said neighbor. "Tr'
10 but we only let him Doctor the ST
wants"
1850 Little Willie prayed long AMI in
~: fectually for for little brother.
4 % last he gave it up as mo use." Sc
after his mother had the pleasure
100 showing him twin babies. He loOl