Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-12
BRIGHT III -.

LOVE may be blind hnt Jealousy is ALWAYS
leading Love round and pointing out the OBJ
jects of interest-Nstc Hdc'n Neus.
EGGs-AoTLY.-Dr. Lorirg finds that the
hens in New England laid 27,39l,O56 dozen
eggs during the last census year of ISSO.-
ChicdQ0 Tribune.
PATIENT-What do you think of a warmer
climate for me. doctor?
Doctor-Great Scot! man, isn't that just
what Pm trying to save you from?-Neao YORK
Sun.
THE woman is the enemy of freedom" re-
marks an AUTHORITY. Correct. The army or
married men who have been deprived OF Their
latch KEYS is q monument to the sad truth Of
the assertion.-NdshrfUe Cn1on.
NOTED LAwYE1-Yes. l have looked into
your case, ana am otghe opinion that your
sentence can be COMMITTED to imprisonment.
Chicago Anarchist-At doze brizons we're
men have to work?
n. LIES.
G. A.-You vas Won fool.-OmGhd World.
THE Chicago Mail boasts of a Chcagoan of
fine discrimination and deicacy who, riding
in the suburbs with his beat girl. passed sta
Bile, in the door OF which stood a couple of
calves. see said the yonnG lady, those
two cute little cowlets." Those are not
cOwlets, Araminta; they are bullets And
the procession moved rapidly on.
CoLUMB1A-Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam. wake
up! Canada has run away with another o.
your fishermen, and Mexico has just grabbed
one of your editors
Uncle sam tsmIling in his slpep)-O. well,
they've got most of my thieves already; now
If they're after my liars they'll soon m AXE a
paradise of the republic. (Snores again.
6urdette.
TIE Boston Transcript tells of Boston
editor who loved pure English and who, de-
| string to secure pureness of speech in his
paper, had issued rier1 against the use of the
! diminutive ''let." The other day he was
heard toask friend on the train: John, is
| your house LETT" And John said: What
| about my houselet? SupnOse you mean nv
cottag" at Nahant. But don't say 'hOuselet.'
it is vile." And It took fifteen minutes to
straighten ont matters.
CUsToMER-Hava you any arsenic?
Druggst-No. .ir: Just ont.
ANY strychnineP'
"S0ld the last this evening"
"Have you any PARIS greene"
None now, but have some ordered"
swell, what kinds of polsons have your"
| 81 haven't any Just now. lon see there was
| an ice cream supper last night down here,
ami there is no call for anything more in that
| line. "-Detr 10 free Press.
"HAvE you any ash trees on the Common ?"
my fellow-pilgrim asked a policeman who
! was walking along declining some LATIN noun
| the only thing Boston policeman ever does
| decline.
He =toppod ard looked at nv friend with
| the utmost cOmmiseral ion for his ignorance.
1--WE have the 'FraXimus Americana" he
replied, waving his stick in the direction of q
| white ash not far awav.
! Boston, every inch of him.-BostOn Letter IN,
| TerGs SHtngS.
| A PLATFORM WELL BEGUN.-"Mr. Chair
man." said member of the committee on
resolutions. ''vour com mittee has made a
| good beginning on platform. but finds itself
unable to proceed without the advice OF the
| convention"
| Chairman-Will the gentleman please read
such of the proposed platform as the commit
| tee has been able to complete unaided?
| Committeeman-Ie s. sir. Reads. I'VE.
| the people, view with alarm" That is as
far as the committee has proceeded OhicGgo
Neaos.
PHILIP. THE GROWLER.-
There lived way back in the o. den time
| A man of sin and man OF crime.
He growled. and snarled, and fretted and
| cursed.
| And hated all things. himself the worst.
Ho, there, Philip, the GROWER.
| (SeUsrdi buHdred ysdrs are Suppossd ~ sldpse,
PrO1idjng the aredther ISN'T too hOt.l
And now we come do yn to modern time,
And behold n man of modern crime.
He grabs a pitcher. sallies out,
He strikes saloon; now hear him shout
"Ho, there! Fill up the growler.'
It'd Bits.