Savannah morning news., 1886-06-29
BRIGHT BITS.

PoL1TIcIAN-This is iscarrying things too far.
That's pretty journalism, calling Alderman
marsh. 1t would sound better to say he was a
robbin' of the treasury.-LoaOeH Citizen.
LOOKS SUsPIcIous.-Miss Eugenis lin BOs-
ton)-Mother, begin to suspect that MIR. De
Claude isn't literary man at all.
Mother-Why, my child?
Mi Eugenia-Because he doesn't show the
least sign of moving to New York It'd Bits.
HARDAcRE was wearily watching a most
villanously noOr game Of base ball. ''What
clubs are they?' he asked.
"Thev are picked nines," replied scorer.
"Then." SAID the suffering spectator, ''they
were picked before they were ripe. ."-BrO0k-
I'm Eagte.
Washln2ton the other day that oleomargarine
is pure and wholesome. At the same time he
said that he always used butter at four times
the cost. It is noticeable that the most siren
GUS advocates of bogus butter have not conf
dence enough in 1t 10 use it themseves.-BOs
ton Post.
A WILLING INFORMANT. First Musician dn
street carj-Yes, l understand Jones has
finished his new opera. Have you seen the
score yet?
Second Musician-No, haven't.
Fellow Passenger-Excuse me, gentlemen,
but it was to in favor of the New Torks-
lid Bits.
THE Pocahontas Headlight, weekly jour
nal OF virginia, has new editor, and he says
in his salutatorY that he does not ire enter
the theatre of Journalist as the trembling
debntante, ,dazzled by the tinse glitter of pic
tnred scenes,nor assume its more sacred fnnc-
tioDs as the neophyte, whose swinging censer
but deepens the awful mysteries OF the sane
tuary."
THE fishermen who picked up in Lake Win
| niplseogee dead lake trout which measured
IS inches In length and weighed over 80
pounds, and then came home and told about
Il, have dlsgraced their profession. Had their
| wits not deserted them they would have
| Dragged of it as ''the greatest catch of the
season. ."-B 6tO1t Post.
Mr.. BAXTER was about to take his wife and
children out for a sail ''Come on" he said
''there's spanking breeze and we mustn't
| miss it,"
"Papa," interrupted his little son, with his
hands folded behind him. stake the rest OF the
| family and go. With that kind OF a breeze
blowing don't want to be caught on a little
boat with mamma until l have learned to
swim. - Washington Critic.
MANY years ago, when grocers in LYNN
were licensed to sellliqEor, one OF them, who
had the reputation cf giving rather small
weight and measure, W as Dragging to a Gus
toner of his skill in doing mp packages. 81
can wrap a pound OF sugar." he remarked,
I'm smaller pecs OF paper than any other
man in town" ~ don't doubt it." SAID the
customer, land you can put pint of rum in
smaller bottle than any one else, too.'-
| Lynn Item.
A SIMPLE TALE.-Once upon time real
editor. by some strange chance, found himself
| along with one of those editorial excursions
that you frequently read about. There were
a cOupleiof hundred in the party, but he was
the only real editor among them, aud he felt
very Lonesome. Not only that, but he was
looked upon with suspicion and mistrust BY
| the other fellows, who wondered what bust
ness he had there ANYHOW. One veteran
| traveller on a deadhead pass that he WASN'T
| entitled to said that he had been on scores OF
| editorial excursions, and that WAS the first
| time that an editor, that is to say. real bona
hde editor. had ever shown up. II this thing
WAS encouraged, he felt that the editorial ex-
| cursion was doomed. Its epitaph might as
well be written. So with one accord they al
sat down on the solitary editor and made it SO
! uncomfortable for him that he got off the
train at the fret stopping place and returned
! home. - Te1dS SiJtigtgs.