Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1886-03-11
4 wELL.LsARNep LESSON.
4 Haif.IIour with the Infant Ciass In
American Humor.

4 HalfHour with the lnhnt CiAss IN
American Humor.
Teacher TO infant class In American
humor)--Childrcn, Mr.. Tunboy said to
Mrs. Tuflboy: "I fear that am threat
ened with brain.fever." What was
Mrs. Tuffboy's replyp
Pupils Tin chorus)-"That Is impos-
siblc, my dear; you have no brains"
Tcachcr-Correct. Mr.. Jones met
Mr.. Smith on the street, and said to Mt.
Smith: "You have changed consid-
crably, Jones, since I saw you q year
ngo. At that time you were bright and
hopeful. and wore good clothes; now
you seem sad and depressed, and your
clothes are shabby. What in tho world
Is the matter. old manP" What ex.
PLANTATION did Mr.. Jones maker
Pupils Tin chorus)-Hc said that he
had got married.
Teacher-Excellent. Now again: A
gentleman. richly attired and with n
diamond on his shirt-bosom rs big rs a
headlight, went into cigar store and
called for n forty-ccnt cigar. After
calmly lighting it with q hundrcd-dol-
lar bill which he took from his vest
pocket, he stepped into his carriage at
the door, aud was driven rapidly up
Fifth avenue. What business was this
gentleman In, whose profits permitted
him to waste money In this cxtraordi-
nary wayp
Pupils Gn chorus)-Hc was q base
ball umpire.
Teachcr-No.
Pupils lin chorus)-Proprictor OF a
rollcr-skating rinkP
Tcachcr-No.
Pupils Gn horus)-Editorp
Tcachcr-Not quite.
Small Pupil (triumphantly) -
Plumber.
Teachcr-Corrcct, Johnny. You are
destined to become great humorist.
Should humorist be spelled with 4 capi-
tai or small IL?
Pupils with tremendous cmphasis)-
Capital III
Tcachcr-That is right. Again, chill.
drcn, q young man and q young lady
were passing certain place of busi-
ness, when the young lady began fan
ming herself and complained Of being
excessively warm. The young man
paid no attention TO her, but hurried
on. What place of business was it tina,
prompted such extraordinary conduct
OH the part Of the young lady?
Pupil, Gn chorus)-Oystcr saloon.
Teacher
Pupils Tin chorus)-Icc-cream sa-
loon.
Teachcr-Ccrtainly. How large n
salary do some of the great American
humorists receive?
Pupils Gn chorus)-Ninc dollars a
week.
Tcachcr-Right. will ask you one
more question. and then the class will
be dismissed. a narrow-lcggcd soul,
ml.cycd young man, with fringe on the
bottom Of his trousers legs, climbed
eight flights Of stairs and asked to see
the editor. When he was picked up on
the street below life was extinct. What
did that narrow-legged, soulful-cycd
young man want to sec the editor forP
Pupils (tumultuously)-lIc wanted
70 sell him spring poem.
Tcachcr-Tlat is all for to-day. But,
children, before you 90 want to cau'
ton you against one thing. and that Is
pride. When you reach the age OF
manhood and are eagerly snapped up
by the leading journals of Chicago.
Boston, Philadelphia, Kalamazoo, Oil
City. Wayback, Podunk and other
great ccntcrs Of American humor, you
will naturally feel somewhat clatcd
over the fact that you are about enter
ing upon brilliant journalistic career.
But beware of pride. Do not imagine
that because the Podunk Clarion says;
"Brothcr Tompkins, of the Wayback
Citizen, is one Of the most brilliant
young journalists of the day." you are
smarter than the managing editor. He
may know very little about humor, but
he is familiar with the intricacies OF
the wastc-baskct. And wastc-baskct
is one of the most important adjuncts
Of n newspaper office. 1t is an cncour-
aging sign of the times that they ar
yearly coming into more general use.
You can go now, dear children. but 60
carefully. 1t would be dreadful
thing IL any of you should chance to
strike your head against cobweb and
knock your brains out-Pucks an
nual.