davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13
4 Maine COnundrum.

The way people can mix up them
selves and their relatives in the matter
OF marriage was perhaps never better
illustrated than i'll the case of bacH-
woods Maine family, of which CORE
spondent writes:
A father, son and grandson married
three sisters.
That looks simple enough, doesn't it?
1t hasn't dawned on you yet?
Well, see here:
L. Amos, the father, married Abagail.
2. Benjamin, son of Amos, married
Betsey.
3. Charles, son of Benjamin, married
Caroline.
What then?
Amos is brother to his son.
Amos is brother to his grandson.
Amos IS grandfather to his daughter.
Amos is grandfather to his sister
Amos Is father to his wife.
Amos is father to his grandson.
Amos is his own grandfather, his own
son and brother-in-law to himself.
Benjamin is brother to his father.
Benjamin is brother to his son.
benjamin is brother to his mother.
Benjamin is brother to his daughter.
Benjamin is the son of his sister.
Benjamin is the husband of his sister,
Charles is brother to his father.
Charles is brother to his grandfather.
Charles is brother to his mother.
Charles is brother to his grandmother.
Charles is granddaughter to his mother.
Charles is grandnephew to his wife.
Charles is the grandchild of his aunt.
Charles married to another aunt.
Charles is the son of his aunt.
Charles is the husband of his sister.
Maine is responsible for good many
things, but the foregoing will show that
she is still engaged in the good work.
Rochester Express.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13

forage, hay, ETC., gathered and housed.
| Groundpeas should >lso be gathered by
that time, that the tops may he cured as
forage, and the gathering of the nuts
facilitated. After killing frost tlo nuts
quickly lose their hold on the vines. and
are left in the ground when the latter are
pulled up. Sorghum cut and slowed
away under shelter will keep green and
sweet for long time, prolonging the
period of green feed well up to Christ.
mas. Stalks, leaves and heads cut up
together We find to be most excellent
feed for cattle. Our people, generally,
have not learned yet to appreciate It's
value as stock feed. We think it superi-
or to Milo Maize or any other OF that
class. The amber cane is the best variety
for this purpose.
The sweet potato vine is another good
feed, liable now to be ruined by frost,
AS it is almost impossible to cure them.
they may DO either grazed or pulled off
and led. Little damage to The potato
will accrue if this is done after the mid.
die OF October Everything should bc
IN readiness also for digging the pota-
toes. After the weather gets cool and
vegetation ceases active growth, tie Dig
glng may take place at any time when
the soil is dry. Where the vines are not
fed off to stock, the usual practice is to
pull them out of the way with n plow.
This gathers the vines in heaps at the
end of the rows and deprivcs the land of
their fcrtilizing properties. 1t would be
better to have turn plough with sharp,
revolving coulter, and run it on each
side of row SO as to cut off the vines
and bury them i'll the middlcs. Then
with plow, called ''potato digger"
such as is used by Northern farmers for
digging Irish potatoes, the tubcrs might
be lifted out of the ground with great
rapidity and without being cut and
bruised. zig in dry weather after the
plant has ceased growing rapidly, put in
nils of thirty to forty bushels, keep dry,
wrap with pine straw and cornstalks six
70 eight inches thick, and cover with
dirt increasing the thickness of the lat
ter as the weather gets colder, until it is
one foot thick. At first leave an cir hole
at top of hill, say for four or five weeks.
then stop it up with dirt and cut of all
communication with outside air. AL
shelter over the hill is preferable, though
not indispensable, if enough dirt is put
on the hill, and it is well sloped so as to
shed water rapidly.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13
- - GssA>'---------.
split Tcn-DOllnr Notes.

A new departure in the matter OF
counterfeiting money was brought to
light at the United States Sub-Treasury
i'll Baltimore few days ago. A some
what worn tcn-dollar Government bill
was presented mt the cashiers window
with request for change, which was
given. The note was sent to Washing
ton rs mutilated currency, and was re-
turned with the information that one
side of the note was good, but the other
side was well executed counterfeit of
the original. 1t was found that genu-
inc ten-dollar bill had been split, the
face being separated from the back, II
seemingly impossible undertaking. The
original face with n counterfeit back had
been used, and it is quite likely that the
genuine back with well executed coun-
terfeit face has been passed in some
other quarter. More recently another
ten-dollar "front" was presented at the
cashiers window with similar request
for change. The clerk at the window,
suspecting the bill, told the man who
handed it in to wait a moment until he
consulted DR.. Bishop, the Sub. Treasurer.
DIR. Bishop recognized in the note the
familiar game, and said it was worth lust
50. When the clerk returned to the
window the man had left without waiting
for his change. The Sub-Treasury
which was out 50 ON the first transaction
w2s evened up by the second, Baltimore
Sun.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13
she Can't Throw n Brick.

Had Paris seen Helen attempt to shoe
a COW out OF the back yard, it is safe to
say that the Trojan war would never have
been wagcd, and Homer would have
been Obliged to take the Haymarket riot
Tor an epic. Had Antony seen Cleopatra
chase street car down II dusty avenue
OF Cairo, 1t Is safe to state that nc would
have fled disenchantcd back to Octavia,
ana the divorce court lawyer decree
quietly secured; no publicity would
never have made cent from him. Had
Dante seen Beatrice fire n half brick at
the Handal hen which prospectcd for
seeds in her tiower-bed every spring, il
is again safe to say he would have sent
back her notes, her white mouse pen
wiper, the lava smoking set with merry
Christmas" painted across the stern, and
discontinued that rocky courtship which
he subsequently celebrated in his poem
known as "Ihc Inferno"
In the three situations given above the
average woman is grand, massive,
Titanic, incomprchcnsIblo. The man
who witnesses these feminine moods
from the weather side Of high board
fence and does not stand with head
barred, hushed and awcstrickcn has no
poetry III his soul. In all she is great,
but III tie Diick-throwing act she is
greatest and NO ost dangerous. There is
II physiological reason for this. 1t is not
her fault that an ambulance wagon has
to be rung up after her rick-throwing
moods, but that this kind of exercise
always creates II furry and an upward
tendency III the window glass market.
She cannot help aiming at the hen and
bringing lown the usual inoifensivc citi-
Zen III the next ward. Her shoulders
were not rightly constructed for ball
tossing, and IN the hurry incident upon
laying the citizen she frequently forgets
to consult her hand book on throwing,
and makes the left hand do all the labor
instead of the right, as laid down by the
authorities Nor is she mentally con
stitutcd for baseball pitcher Many
husbands who are not right-minded
sneer Mt their wives weakness CT mental
grasp in rot being able to distinguish
between q mutilated and jumped-on UNI
pirc and u threc-basc hit. These nice
subtleties of the game may be thus lost
to her, but it is not her fault. Her gray
brain matter is not put up that way,
architecturally speaking, any more than
her shoulder is built to bring confusion
and death to COWS.
1t will be observed by all who take the
trouble to attend base ball game in the
interests of science that the best throw
ers have very square shoulders, and the
shoulders of some are higher at the
corn. than near the neck. In these
latter the clavicle tends upward as it
leaves the spinal column, circumstance
which allows free play Of the arm in any
direction. Whereas as is seen in lady s
skeleton, the shoulder blade slopes down
like toboggan slide and overlaps the
arm-socket In n manner which prevents
her lifting her arm without cracking her
shoulder-b blade or bursting out seam in
her basque, either Of which is calculated
to discourage good craftsmanship.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13
THOUGHTS FOR TIE MONTH.
sONIE sEAs0NABLE SUGGESTIONS FROM
HiGu AUTHORITY.

What Work the Good Farmers shoul1 u, T.,
the Month of 0ctobrr--tn Interesting Arii-
Gle From an intelligent Writer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13
General Boulanger, desiring to Sc.

-General BoulanBer, desiring to Sc
cure from the French government an
appropriation for new explosive bombs,
recently invitec the Budget Committee
TO witness the experiments he was carry
ing on in private. The experiments he
was carrying on in private. The expert
ment is made with monster mortar, for
the destruction of Notifications; the mis-
sile explodes with exceedingly destruc-
tive effect. 1t is charged with new ex-
plosive, of whose composition Boulanger
and his associates alone possess the
secret. The compound. however, is ad-
mitted to have all the powers of gun
cotton with none of it's defects, and is
said, in addition, to be easily transport
taneous ignition. 1t is stated that the
budget and committee were 1t only
highly satisfied and pleased, but promis-
ed to freely support tho Generals de
mand for large special appropriation.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13
THE STORY OF HIS LIFE.

''From the little book which / saw"
said the narrator, 'for was one of the
party, we learned the following facts:
The man supposed to be over seventy
years old was not yet fifty. Years ago, q
few miles out of Savannah, lived Frank
Walton and Minnie Jeffcoat. The farms
of their parents adjoined; the two had
grown up together. Together they mas
tered the intricacits of the school books
They became plighted lovers. He was
twenty-three years old; she was barely
seventeen. They were to have married
in Juno, 1861, but the tempest swung
the pine against the palm. Frank en-
listed in the gallant Bartow's regiment
and marched gaily to the front. Minnie
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13

a bank cashier may get himself involved
but he generally comes out all right in the
long rnn-ihat Is, provided tho long run Is
70 Canada,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-10-13

steakboldcrs-- Butchers,
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12

What do you think the minister said
to the children after prayers that nightp
It was this: That's a plucky little
Bantam of yours, boys. !" They both
turned pale. Garry began to cry. He
continued. eI wish could obtain one
just like him for my little sickly boy at
home. He is very fond of such pets. F."
Was he not goodp Elmer told Frank
coniidentially. "If that minister would
only stay here should join the church.
his church, right off. $50 would T."
said Frank, .'he's the man for me; he
knows enough to admire Bob"
When not doing anything else Bob
was certain to be teasing Tabby. She
did not care one fig on her own ac-
count, but those kittens of hers-they
must not have their eyes put out before
they were fairly opened to the glories
of this beautiful world. All her moth
erly instincts and feelings forbade it,
One lovely summer afternoon when
the entire family were absent excepting
Katy Kos-ta-ma-lasky-John Nikota
! said she had no eyes or ears for any
thing else-Tabby got her back up at
Bob. First she cuffed him, then she
| spit in his face, and had about made
up nef Mlnu TO eau MIN duVe,
when he escaped from her clutches.
He flew on to the soap barrel and
crowed over her.
Tabby, doubly enraged, sprang up
after him. Her weight tipped the
cover off and Bob fell into the barrel.
Tabby fell in too, but she got out
again. Bob never did. At least not
until next morning, when Elmer fished
him out. Then he was dead. Of course
he was.
What vast pity SO little, SO hand
some, so plucky bird should have
met his death in soap barrel.
Long and sincerely the children
mourned for him. They laid him ten
derly in little tin box and buried him
in shady corner in the garden.
| Elmer put white palings around his
grave, and Carrie planted a white rose
bush upon it. Frank set up little
headstone, upon which was printed
"BRAvE BANTAM Boz"
| Jennie Nckery, IN N. Y. Tribune.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12
UNCLE Essex.
Words nf Wisdom and Philosophy Clothed
in a Homely Garb.

Words nf Wisdom and Philosophy Clothed
in a Homely Garb.
II We expect to be happy we must be
s7TTsy; it is better to hunt up a hornets
nest and fight that, than to be out of a
job; no idle man ever was happy, and
but few idle men are innocent long.
Mirth is short-lived cheerfulness never
tires.
II never was intended that man should
be perfect on earth; the great thing is
not never to miss the bulls eye-but to
get little nearer to it every time we
shoot.
Those who mold and move most the
minds and actions of men are seldom
seen. They never head the procession.
Rheumatism, like many other things,
is easy enough to cure in some one else;
but when VIC undertake to cure our own,
then business begins.
about yourself, pray don't mention your
good luck; the world doesn't care to
listen to such things.
You may put the world down as a
mob of fools, but don't forget this it
takes smart man to beat them.
No man ever did polite thing yet
without feeling a little prouder for it,
There are plenty of people on earth,
who are going to be very indignant
when they reach the other world, and
find there are no reserved seats.
Justice ought to be as cheap as the
dew, but half the time it costs more to
get it than it is worth. - Century.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12
BASE BALLS.
How They Are Biade--hn Ingenious and
Important Industry.

How They Are Stade--hn Ingenious and
Important Industry.
The manufacture of base balls in this
country has become an important in
dustry, and an ingenious one, too,
according to the description given of
the process: First, there is little hard
rubber ball, around which there is
wound strong blue coarse yarn, and,
when this reaches prescribed size, it
is firmly wrapped with white vene-
tian yarn The balls are now placed
in an oven and baked until the moisture
istaken out of them and they are re-
duced in size, this making them solid.
They are then coated with cement,
which causes the balls to retain their
shape, and they can not be knocked
crooked. After this comes some fine
blue yarn and around the whole is
placed fine white gilling twine. The
balls are weighed, each TO have GER
tain weight, and the covers are put
on, these being made of the best horse
hide. 1t consists of two pieces, each
cut in the shape of a figure eight.
BY bending one section one way, and
the other IN an opposite direction, a
complete cbver>is obtained. This is a
simple and effectual substitute for the
former method of covering with four
pieces Of leathey. z. Gribuae.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12
DON'T CUT THE STRINGI

The Habit of Waste in Little Things a
Drawback to Ones Value and Useful
ness.
Said one of the most successful
merchants of Cleveland, o., day or
two since, to a lad who was opening
parcel: "Young man, unite these
strings-don't cut themp' 1t wasn't
the first remark he had made to new
employe. 1t was the first lesson for
the lad to learn, and involved prin-
ciples of success or failure in his busi-
ness career. Pointing to a well-dressed
man behind the counter, he said:
"There is a man who whips out his
scissors and cuts the strings of the
package in three OF four places. He is
good salesman, but will never be
anything more. / presume he lives
from hand to mouth and very likely is
more or less in debt. The trouble with
him is that he was never taught to
save. l told the boy just now to unite
the string instead of cutting it, not so
much for the value of the string as to
teach him that everything must be
saved and nothing wasted. If the idea
can be firmly impressed upon the mind
at beginning in life that nothing was
made to be wasted, you have laid the
foundation OF success
The moral of this little incident is
self-evident. A young man well
brought up, with fair education,
seeks employment in business house.
The habit of waste in little things is
noticeable, and becomes drawback on
his value and usefulness to his employ
er. The disregard of saving strings
and paper develops into carelessness
that runs through all his habits. He
does not get on in the world because
he is wasteful Small sums slip
through his fingers almost uncon-
sciously because they are small. He
wastes time by the minute, without q
thought of the old adage: Take care
of the minutes and the hours will take
care of themselves
Sitting in the counting-room of one
of Cleveland's oldest and most sue
cessful merchants of the day we noticed
that he cut off the blank sheets of the
letters he was engaged in filing. The
name of this man is synonym OF
character and benevolence, and his
liberality in all good works is almost
unbounded. His attention being
called to what seemed to be an unu-
sual proceeding, he said: "Yes, il
may strike you as a singular thing te
save these half sheet of paper, but
commenced life as boy in country
store, and this was one of the first les
sons in saving little things that was
taught me by my employer. He has
been nearly half century under the
sod but never do this without thinking
of the good old man. 1 believe it wai
the cause of my success in life.''
| This saving of little things does no
imply stinginess or meanness. 1t i
simply the habit of saving instead o
wasting. 1t is embodied in the motto
Waste not, want not" Therefor
we do say: Don't cut the string
Nes0sboys' appeal.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12
NOBLE RAScALS.
A Housebreaker Sends Present to a Little
ri

Girl.
shave heard q burglng story where q
little girl saved her sick mother from
the awful shock and disquietude of u
burglars entrance. She was Il sweet,
innocent little thing, and, hearing a
noise in the night, she fearlessly came
down stairs and found the dining-room
window wide open and man in the
room. She asked tho man what he
wanted. The burglar, who must have
had touch of humor, answered that he
was nobleman and that his favorite
way of coming into house was by the
window in preference to the door. He
would be very glad if she would let him
have the loan of the family plate. Tho
child said that he must be very
quiet, because her mamma was iii,
but she would get him what she
could. She brought him all the silver
she knew of, but particularly begged
him to spare her little cup and spo IN,
which he accordingly did. The man
was afterward discovered and convicted.
When he was in prison he begged very
hard chat he might have an interview
with the child, and the parents know
ing that the man had not acted so badly
as he might have done, took the child to
see him in prison. He was, perhaps, MS
much affected by her innocent prattie
as by considerable number of dis
courses. Some time afterward present
was sent to the child through the s.noble-
man. who preferred the window rs u
means OF ingress and egress. The
Year Round.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12
THE CONGO RAILWAY.
The Bold Enterprise of Confident MancIies-
ter Merchants.

The Bold Enterprise of Confident MancIies-
ter Merchants.
Some of the most responsible of Man
chester merchants have given their sup
port to the new railway syndicate for
constructing a line ON the banks of the
Congo. The plan of the promoters is to
connect by railway the enormous stretch
of navigable river above Leopoldvillc on
Stanley Pool with the eight hundred
miles of waterway below Nokki. Should
the project succeed tits hoped to devcl-
op an extensive trade with the heart of
Africa. Goods will be brought down all
the tributaries ofthe mighty river from
regions to be measured BY tens of thou
sands OF square miles, to the starting,
point of the new line, thence carried to
Nokki by rail, and reshipped from
that port for Europe and to iie New
World. The design is bold, almost to
temerity; but the names of the promot-
ers seem to show that there is money in
it. Business men do not sink couple
of millions in barely civilized quarters
OF the earth without satisfying them
selves OF a fair prospect of profit. Pcr-
haps the chief gains looked for in Man
chester are to be derived from trade
rather than dividends. But, after all.
the Que involves the other. If "the
Congo Valley Road opens up new
markets to Manchester, it will bvinr
profits to its adventurous shalehollais:
and if these are left empty-handod, il
can only be because the merchants do
not thTlye.-st, Janles' Gazette,
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-12
PEDRO THE CRUEL.
The Peculiar Judgment Given by Notori-
Gus Spanish King.

The Peculiar Judgment Given by Notori-
Gus Spanish King.
There is story related of Judgment
given by Pedro the Cruel of Spain inn
bued. with very much the same spirit as
the one delivered in the court at Venice.
A slater was engaged in repairing the
roof of a house, and while so engaged
through some false step or some other
accident lost his balance and rolled
down the slanting sides of the roof and
fell over the edge into the street below
DUST at this moment-unfortuna for
himself, though fortunate for the slater
"a man was passing along the street
just in front of the house whose roof
was being repaired Upon him the
slater fell, knocking him to the ground
with such force that he eventually
died OF the injuries he received; while
the slater does not seem to have been
mnch the worse for his fall, being
saved from any violent coneussion with
the hard pavement by the imposi-
ton of the body of the unfortu-
nate wayfarer. The dead mans son
brought an action against the slater,
asking that he might receive punish
ment for killing his father, and be made
to pay to him, the son, damages to
compensate him for his loss. The King,
before who the matter was laid, in
quired into it, and satisfied himself that
the slater was in no way to be blamed,
his fall and its fatal consequences being
purely accidental. In delivering his
Judgment he said that it was Natural
that the son should desire some salts
faction for the death of his father at the
hands Of the man who had Killed him,
and that this he was ready to order
him. The slater must go and stand ex-
actly in the position where the deceased
man had been at the time of the acci-
dent; and the son might mount to the
roof of the house. and throw himself
thence on to the slater, and so mete out
to him the same treatment as had been
meted out to his, the plaintiffs father
The son, however, like Shylock, de.
clined to run the risks incidental to car.
rying out the Judgment Chambers
| journal