Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-08-05
WANTED TO BE REDUCED.
Turning Hopefully to q Tricycle. to Get
Back Her Figure.

Turning Hopefully to O Tricycle. to Get
Back Her Figure.
A young man went spinning up Riverside
drive on a wheel, swung 10 the left at the
semi-circle, made half dozen sweeping gyra-
tons. like buzzard setting on bough, and
alighted as.raddle OF his backbone-that is,
the backbone of the wheel-so near the re-
tanning wall that little more momentum
would have sent him head foremost over it.
1t all looked graceful enough to indifferent
stocks and scions of old families rolling by in
their victoriaS, carts and drags, but the young
mans hair had hardly settled back into place
when a barouche stopped beside him and
sweet voice said:
will You be SO good as to tell me, sir,
where can buy a tricycle"
The young man of the wheel gasped twice
when he brought his eyes TO bear upon the
speaker Age -, more or less. Tender-eyed
blonde. Crimson cheeks. Dimples. Roll
under the chin. Diamonds. Black satin.
yellow gloves. Bracelets French heels.
Coachman Footman. Skye terrier Weight
say 2i5 pounds
Two hundred and forty five pounds spin
ming up Riverside on a summer afternoon,
mercury 100 degrees,
Il want something to reduce me" contin-
ued this fairy. Don't YOU think a tricycle.
would reduce mei Are they hard to Iidei /
wonder how long if would take me 10 learni
/ see You ride a bicycle. | couldn't 10 that
very well, but do much wish to get 2 tri-
cyCle--that is if it will reduce me. What do
You think about it,
a-really-I-a-think it might reduce
one. But, pardon me, madam, I-a-dont
think that ;ou-a-need reducing"
This gallant lie brought 20 the surface three
smi - and roll of the head.
"Oh, l must be reduced. / am resolved
upon it Why, used 20 be so slender, will
lowy. as they call it. Eve tried everything
to get back my shape, but all in vain, As you
see. No more fiattery, if you please. 1t is
wasted on an ugly, old. fat woman. But
where can ! get a tricycle.: I ride horseback
every day. llIt it doesn't reduce me one bit"
No! / should think it would-a-reduce
the-a-horse somewhat
"Oh. it does, it does. He is nothing but a
pack of bones" cried the fairy's companion
Age 10. Brunette. Tailor made suit. V
shaped shirt bosom. Enaneled studs. Stand
ing collar. June complexion. Smiled at
everything TO give her pretty teeth a fair
chance. Didn't require reducing.
a am rather too heavy for poor Bucepha-
lus,- chimed in the fairy. "Do tell me about
the tricycle.
Madam, go down TO Blanks, in Fifty
eighth street, ask for Jones' hire pair Of
wheels for an hour and take spin up River
side, just to see how you like the sport"
"Oh, thank you ever so much shall do
that Are you riding every afternooni
think | shall be ON my tri-my wheels as you
say, tomorrow. do hope it will reduce me
1t ought to do it. Good afternoon, sir, and
thank you so much for your kindness"
The barouche with its fair burden rolled
away. The wind came swirling up the road,
lifting clouds Of dust: other vehicles dashed
by the young man of the wheel; New York
Central freight train ratified along the track
below; n sprinkling cart spurted and squirted
in the semi-circle, but above all the din there
sounded one word in a tone hopeful, if pa
thetic-"reduccd" New York Tribune.