New-York tribune., 1886-03-29
THE TAIN or THE Day.

There is some talk Of building horse railroad from
Long Branch through Asbury Park to shark RIVER
Bridge such q railroad would be great convenience
to summer visitors.
Chicago Damsel to New-York dude who has been
yn Of the Browns Of London Mr. BrowA
Mr. B~Nav Fact is ye know, Miss Benton, my name
x"p bse1 to oe called Mstaa Van Duze Bwovn
Chicago Damsel (sympathiLlnGJJ-On, IN u 50 sorry
Mr. Brown but we're particular IN tue Vest ana
really haven't been introduced to the Van Dulen nan
otyouyet.
II seems that people are constantly mistakng Colum-
biz College for the Womans Hospital which leads Ae'a
Co,,nJiana recommend ths putsinS up OF p!aoard
20 the effect that these buildings arc Columbia Col
leee"
Dc Gsrmo: An. Miss Racquet. I hope shall havethe
pleasure OF finding you at home Thu.9iay evening,
Miss Racquet; am sorry 10 say, MI DE G"rmo IhaV
| am going out Thursday evening -,
DE- Garuio: An well, viii leave my card; that will
do as well l-lTid.Bits
In England they dray distinction between legitimate
and nlegltmate "lnashera" 1t seems that the legt
mate masnor" is "a gentleman OF birth and breed
1ug and nat lie simply mashes" for the fun OF the
thing never going beyond the limits OF propriey. More
over he never does hts "mashng on the street corner
and he the very best brand Of cigars Benghtea
Americans Will be surprised to hear that "mashng has
become legitimate profession.
"Going widins today. Awthawl"
Nav. Got TO work dsmmt"
80 sowy deah boy. What Is the-aw job, eh !"
1t befaw make anotAaw dwaft on haw DID you
eYaW hcah OF such 4 Ooah -
"Nevaw. deah boy, neTaw."-tTown Topics
The Washington critic tells how Jedge waxem, Of
Wayback attended Congressional funeral, and how
hard lie lnourned on the journey. When the
ledge got back TO Washington he was not
az neatly attred when he started out to greve He
looked Ike frizzy chicken after al encounter with
heavy shower. HIS hat resemDled an accOrdeon But
the ledge did not care. There Is nothing wrong in all
UNA IN n1rlef he wau
thing to drown his lie pays for 1t himso When
this great and glorious Nation appnts me to do its
mourning II IS right that it should pay for my woe
asshulgers."
she-see here Conductor stop that youn. man go
ing out therei He usulted me-
Me-Why. Madam, what dlI ne s..I, say ,o ,.ro,c,
Hs-WclI vel that was wrong, wasn't III But he
couldn't have meant it-tCnlcago Rambler.
Even Lent must have It's amusements. In Washington
progressive courting partes-ot twO-are popular and
in some parts Of the Wssts rumored that progressive
prayer-mestlAgs are about 10 DO tried.
MI Hearst the new Senator from California, ought TO
be able to rub along with economy In Washington he Is
said to have an income OF $1,000 day.
"Tn play you game OF billiards. CubleiGh"
Nav wathaw think not"
"GO you a cut Ot hazard
Let's get hold Of sharpe, then, and try a,hand or
two OF poker. EhP r.. -, -, , .
ennan II youl let me go to seep theaa' deah good
boy"
Tho proposition IS accspted.-Town Topics.
II is now reported that Mr. Keeley will finish his
motor early next mOnthprsbably by that Al lril Is
meaut-and that after that tho puoc will be permitted
to know all about It, The public however isn't 1T all
frightened IT has heard this several times before
Engaged Young Man: Yes, indeed, my Alice is GER
talnly a little dear
Married Man: Well, II shes = LITTLE dear now, you
can rest assured she'll be desrsr when she gets good
chance al your pOckotboo&-lIId-Bls.
Lancaster Penn. is said be full OF rich and other
wise eligible bachelors who won't get married
De Guy Fred, saw you At the Academy with a
strange girl last night. VINO was III
PDusOnDy-rhat was my spring aud summer girl. I've
shaken my fall ana winter love.
De Guy-Hm afraid don't tully onVelop your urlft
Ponsonby Nothing easier TO explain. My winter girl
likes cs cream and hates oysters, aud my summer gri
irspSss leo cream and adOres tno Olvayes. BY this
plan enough each year 10 buy my clothes IN Lun-
nen.-l Philadelphia Call
"Here lies the body OF John Mclean Hayward, man
who never voted. OF such is the Kingdom OF Heaven
is the stra.. epaph which areceny deceased resident
OF Waylaad Mass, left behind Aim to be inscribed
his grave
II will be time for the baseball clubs to strike.
The appearance IN the papers OF illustrated advertise
approachinG for amateur gardening and when
gaudy OF seed papers Will contest the place OF
the doorway Of the suburban grocery with tAe
ChautauQua County maple sugar which the gr0ceryma
compelled to make down cellar 10 foil tho lDqusIuyo
laymSu.-l Buffalo EIprsss