Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-01-28
DISCOUNTED BY HIS WIFE.
Serious Mistakes of Professor who
Read ssCharacter'' I'm Handwriting.


New York Times
It was merely the question: "Do
you believe in character III handwrit
ing2" which caused the old professor
of calligraphy to cease his quips and
cranks" and to become sedately med
itative. Before that query had been
addressed to him his geniality and af
fable verbosity had delighted the
ambitious boy who sat before him.
But his flow OF eloquence stopped sud-
denly; an expression of panied recol-
lection supplanted the bland smile
which had previously illuminated his
countenanCe the foOdgates of mem
DRY were opened and out rushed
stream of "reminiscences With such
force that they overwhelmed the am
bilious boy. So he sat quietly down
and made the best he could of them.
DO believe in character in hand
writing2" echoed the professor, wav-
ing his right hand dramatically and
placing his left over the region phys
iologically supposed to cover the heart.
''To be brief with you, my friend, l
do not. Why not? Oh, simply be-
cause q few years ago I made the
reading of character from handwrit-
ing a speciality IA the far west and
earned my bread and butter by the
thousands CT specimens which were
submitted to me, and for which I
charged most satisfactory rates"
This astounding announcement
brought a roseate tinge to the jaundic-
ed complexion of the professor. Shame
was not entirely dead in him, and he
resolved as be subsequently said, to
torture himself IS much as possible by
frank confession. 81 owned a little
paper" he said, 'Ethe name of which I
do not care to reveal, but which you
will allow me to call Character when
I allude to it in my own conversation
with you. It was not a stupendous
sheet. It merely professed to receive
specimens of handwriting for analy-
sis-the analysis to be printed in the
form of the character of the sender.
| undertook to make this analysis for
anybody In any city in any country
In the world, and I advertised myself
very considerably. I mnst say this
for myself, that when I started the en-
terprise / really did believe that
could read character from handwrit-
ing. [ had previously practiced the
alleged art IN kind of amateur fash
ion, and being quite unpIedjudiced,
arrived at some satisfactory result.
You see, l was untrammeled by loaves
and fishes at that time"
The'professor sighed, and the ambi-
tious boy sighed to keep him company.
Then the professor looked ashamed of
himself for having sighed. and the
ambitious boy did exactly the same
out of sympathy.
Il think my anguish began about
the fourth issue of the paper I came
down to my Office as usual, and handl-
ed the mail l saw before me as usual.
1t was quite ponderous pile Of let
tiers | saw before me, and I became
elated as the prospective prosperity OF
Character painted itself rosily in my
minds eye. Then opened my letters.
There were forty of them, and [ had
never seen such a budget before. I
assorted them carefully. Into one
heap | put these which said: Kindly
analyze this handwriting. In the
second heap placed those missives
which inclosed subscription for six
months and a demand for analysis,
accompanied by a three months sub
scription. Into the fourth and last
heap carelessly threw those letters
which simply requested an analysis
OF handwriting, unaccompanied by
any lucrative Enclosure. From that
moment was d changed man. | was
a charIatan. My sincerity had gone.
The mania for dollars and cents had
replaced all my ambitious ardor."
The professor drew handkerchief
across his perspiring brow, and paus-
ed a moment before he continued.
THAT morning set to work 10 an
alyze the forty specimens had just re-
ceived. Recollect [ never knew until
afterward that had lost my earnest
ness. I first of all analysed the hand
writing of those who had inclosed a
years subscription money. There
were six of these. [ remember they
all seemed very remarkable in their
vigor. One I set down as Clever,
thoughtful, and well trained; : another
as energetic, persevering, and we'll
balanced, third, frank, candid with
cool and active Judgment a fourth as
Original and brilliant The last two
were the handwritings of ladies, and I
analysed them, respectively, as well
cultivated and self-rellant' and gentle
and sweet Then I turned to my
second heap, which contained twelve
specimens belonging to those who had
subscribed for six months to Charac-
ter. Strange to say, | found these
specimens far less satisfactory. Among
them put such analyses as 'shrewd,
'scheming,' inclined to be thought
full prone to errors of Judgment,
lacking in perseverance, and so on.
Then in my analyses of the handwrit-
ings in my third heap which repre-
sented the three months subscribers,
I found things to be still more unsat-