The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-03-14
MR.. TWO-FACE.
BY GAsKRLL.
Written for THE HERALD

UNITY anu 1OAOAY QOmA 1AlS
stratas of society to that of the lowest
slums of iniquity; yet the characters
} tics of this race are the same in each
f station, more deeply and broadly de-
( fined in one than the other, but readily
tracable By similarity in action and
report Nor is this family indigenous
to any one land alone, for so numerous
are its members, allied as they necessar-
lily are, more in principle and express
sion, than by consanguinity of blood,
that to know them we must look more
to their acts and words than to facial
expression or characteristics of color or
} stature Nor does the enlightenIng
influence of education, nor the
amenities of polite society change
to any radical extent the bent of their
inclination; nd, they display their &C.
, tivity, vigorously or languidly, as the
circumstances of time and place occur,
and as the incentives to the display of
the pleasing agreeableness OF concord
with all the preiudices and passions
with which they come in contact. The
chameleon is said to change its colors to
that OF the vegetation among which it
moves, so Mr.. Two-face and his numer-
Gus kindred change their moral COM
plexion, if not their physical one, 10
that of the society in which they move;
and as they change their company. SO
do they intellectually vary. from the
passion and warmth of the Partizan, to
the languid indifference of the LOCKER
on in Vienna"
But though the generic name of this
tribe of time servers IS Two face, yet
some of the more favored members are
so happy as to have even more than two
ia ;es. Indeed, some learned physiolo-
gists declare, that the more highly de-
veloped specimens, have as many faces
as there are principles and prejudices
to actuate mankind. 1t is even
seriously commended for as q truth that
it needs but difference OF opinion /;
on any interesting subject, or on any i
course of action, to beget an entirely |
new facial expression, as they are sure,
eventually, to become mere echoes OF
the opi1ions and OF tie same complex
ion OF tie person they are last with.
Where the love of mammon is largely
developed, the faces are almots innum
cradle that belong to the seeker of gain,
and each face is elongated or shortened
as the hope of gain, or the fear of loss,
sways the passions, and the contortions
and genuf1ections of moral posture sp
proxlmate to the fiexibility of harle
quin and the fanaticiSm of a devotee of
Juggernaut.
Mr.. Two face, also. almost invariably
assumes the solicitously aggressive
mode of address, keeping before the
mind of the person he interviews. the
extreme responsibility of his character
and the certainty that no Interior mo-
tlves actuate him, that no improper de
signs are entertained. Indeed, it is ser
iously stated there are certain persons
iourneying through life, whose sole
capital in the business of existence is /
thoughts OF their excessive respectable
ity; their moral uprightness leaning
rather backward than forward, as their
eyes are so constantly cast upward to-
wards the height OF glory they seek 10
attain. that they are blind to the quag-
mireS and puddles of slush and mud of
earth into which their unwary footsteps
wander.
But then the motives of Mr.. Two
face are good, if we are to credit him
self. He wishes TO keep everybody i'll
good humor with themselves and es-
cape with as little vexation to himself
as possible. He often condescends to
be the mere echo Of the opinions of
otherS-if he has convictions he Is sell
NOAiA ESoiOoo III SdCA OCAClISt, anu II has
even been broadly insinuated that at 1
times he descends to hypocrisy and I:
feigns belief in what he knows to be ,
false. The popularity of a measure or I
of belief, increases the ardor of his
convictions, though he sometimes :
quickly changes faces when he meets
anyone of an opposing belief. Such
versatility Is very consoliDg to him and
proves as unc ious balm to his soul saw
ing him from endless bother and con-
tention, though it leaves him in the I'M =
certain position of not knowing what =
direction his next harlequinade will
take.
At certain times and periods, when
society is IN a ferment and opposing
factions are arrayed in strife, Mr.. q
face is most active, lightly fitting from I
one party to the other, agreeing with 4
both in turn, or again pretending TO
disagree with your opposing party, \
making both sides. happy with his q
OF course there are 3
certain opinionated, pugnacious indi- ;
1lduals who take exceptions TO this
way of avoiding trouble
persons who cannot see the wise
policy of agreeing with the man who :
avs black is white. however unpopular
I may be, when he knows it to be white.
But then the pdgnacious person is the F
1ne who makes a martyr of himself.
and Mr.. Two faces last thought would |
be make martyr of himself for any
cause, however great. or true, or glori J.
Jus it might be. Still he likes to occupy ~ ~
The front seat at the show to keep him .
'elf prominent in the eyes of society by :
blowing hot and cold out of the same
mouth, bestowing praise or blame in
as the echo of the clone s
With which he spends the passing hour {
The height of Mr.. Two-face's desire .
or the time being is to be agreeable to ;
Dthers and comfortable with himself ( q
de is well aware that he cannot turn J.
himself into a moral porcupine, with
'ut sticking his quilts into somebody
" puncturing the fayorite hobby, the 3
yet theory, or of offending the Chris |.
ain rectitude of some political crank. :
II religious bigot. bis manhood is not
Il the aggressive order in anything but .
ssertions of his own responsibility mr. =
re his convictions strong enough to 6
orce him into any opposition likely to /
81 Z