The Cecil Whig., 1886-06-05

sam. Small.
Baltimore american.
Sam Jones is man of the people.
He is grand man in his perfect sim
plicity. His splendid wealth of know
ledge il the realm of human nature has
not been gotten by delviLg among the
dusty tones stored. away in dim and
musty libraries, but has been called di
rect from nature herself, and among the
haunts and martS of men. 1t is home
spun logic, ungarnished by tiorid rhe-
torical forms. On the platform Sam.
Jones has no tricks of oratory, no studied
stage effects, impaired in the schools by
masters learned in pantomine He al
ways passes his hand through his hair.
or brushes back the heavy hanging lock
from off his forehead, preparatory to be-
ginning to address All audience. Most OF
those caustic sayings and log cabin eDi
grams are gotten off in a didactic man
ner, one hand stuck behind him and the
other pointing the. moral of the story.
The whole is related with dry and
somewhat weary, manner, while a grim
smile-a very grim smile--toats out at
the oIners of his mouth. The effect is
electrical on the audience; people would
be obliged to laugh at the quaint and
dry manner in which the anecdote is re
lated, even il the sayings were not par
ticularly witty. This is Mr.. Jones' spe-
cial charm. There is only one public
lecturer in the country who possesses
similar manner, which is perfectly nat
ural, and that man is Mark Twain. When
he becomes enthused over the simplicity
and grandeur of the life and doctrines OF
Christ, Sam. Jones becomes more vehe
ment, and gesticulates considerably with
his arms.
Sam. Small possesses fascinations
which would not sit we'll on his confrere
He is an exceedingly eloquent man, pos
sesses magnificent command of lam
gage, and has more the appearance of a
finished orator trained in an academy
Both these evangelists dress, when in
the pulpit, in black. Mr. small invaT-
iably wears long, tight fitting Prince
Albert coat, buttoned up to the chin,
with the exception Of a small display of
shirt bosom. Sam Jones assumes simi
lar attire. Both gentlemen wear upon
all occasions standing collars and small
black ties. In the street Mr.. Small
wears a slouch hat, and Mr.. Jones
Derby hat. They do not look like min
listers, and would not attract attention by
the cut of their cloth. Mr.. Small has
more the appearance of college pro.
fessor, and MIR. Jones a respectable far
mer come to town to see the sights.
SOME OF SAM JONES SAYINGS.
MIR. Jones has not been we'll during the
past week, but his sayings have been
just as spicy as ever. Some of them are
tie following:
"God can't elect man unless he's
candidate"
The biggest tool in Baltimore is tue
husband
Every bar room is recruiting tfice
tor hell.'
Sow whiskey aud you'll reap drunk
ards
Christ won't stay in house with a
cellar full of whiskey."
''Sow little parties and reap big oLes
Sow these and reap ball rooms. Sow
these and reap germans, and from these
reap spider legged dudes, and from these
YOU reap half thimbleiul of calves
foot jelly
Il never saw tlst class billiard player
who was worth the powdr and lead to
kill him."
"What is il town woman but coun-
try woman with Sunday clothes ou?'
I'D rather be dead than be in fash
ion"
The more bent, mashed and warped "a
ladies hat is the more fashionable it is"
a little party is only IA big one with
short skirts on"
''Religion don't help a fellow to quit
his meanness, but it helps him to stay
quit"
doubts are but the children of SIM"
"Repentance is quitting your mean
ness
''lntidelity is nine tenths mouth"
can honest man, who's seeking after
God, is as sure of heaven as the man
who's on full tilt to glory"
''Ive got as much respect for those
fellows in striped clothes as | have for
you, who profess Christianity, and hop
around at every tap of the devils
drum"
"lf my daughters cut of any of their
skirts, don't want them to cut from
the top"
There's many an honest fool-lnd
after all that's the best class
I'm sorry for fellow who's got moth
ing but money; when that out, he's out"
Il would rather do anything than stand
up before the tongue of a mad wuman."
The biggest fool know is the woman
who marries man knowing all the time
lat ha, Il tal