Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1886-07-15

the Hon. Peter what o'clock it was. He
told him. "Sir," replied the orator, you
can mend my watch, but not my motions.
You understand tictics, sir, but not tao
tics.
The Hon. Joseph Cannon. the loud
talking NJ. C. from Illinois, cannot speak
a minute without striking out vigorously
with his left arm. The faster he talks
the swifter his left fist flies through the
air at the Democratic side of the House.
His compliments in that direction are
always left-handed. One day two or
three sessions back Sunset" Cox had the
floor in the midst of an important de-
bate. Cannon jumped up to ask him a
question, and as usual set his left arm in
molten, with the long, bony fore-fnger
violently vibrating toward the head of
the New York humorist.
Il will grant the gentleman's request
upon one condition" said Cox.
what is it ?" asked Cannon.
THAT you put your left hand in your
pocket and keep it there until you get
through with your question" replied Mr..
Cox.
Cannon was not a little nonplussed at
the novelty of the contract, but proceed
ed to comply with terms. He did not
get through with his question, however,
before out flew his fist on level with
"SunSet"
"Stop," said Cox, mot another word.
1 knew you couldn't keep your promise.
l am not going to have that left-handed
lick at me forever" And he shut off the
member from Illinois.
The recent attacks made upon Stanton
by rebel brigadier in Congress has
caused a marked revival of popular in
terest in the personality of the great
War Secretary and many good anecdotes
are afioat in regard to him. Stanton
called spade spade always. He had
a holy horror of shoddy, and the Major
General with his shoulder straps, his
clanking sword and his strut Of pompos-
ity had not as much effect with him as
had the tears of soldiers widow. He
spoke very sharply to officers whom be
found loafing about Washington when
he thought they should be in the field.
and it was not uncommon for him to
say: "Well, sir, would like to know
what you, an officer of the United States
Army, are doing at Washington? If
they don't need you at the front, I'll see
about mastering you out" Senators and
Congressman had not much weight with
him, and he made no bones of saying
what he thought in most characteristic
language. At ore time one of the other
members of the Cabinet wanted Stanton
to appoint young friend of his as pay
master in the army.
"How old is hep" said Stanton.
He is only 81" was the reply; but he
is thoroughly respectable and honest"
"Mr Secretary" responded Stanton,
emphatically, Il would not appoint the
angel Gabriel paymaster if he was only
81 years old"
Brooklyn is chuckling over an orator
ical mishap that befell ex-senator Chas.
Il. Russell, an eloquent and we'll known
New York politician. Recently he de
livered an address at a school commence
ment. There was a large attendance,
and the ex-senator was so loudly ap-
plauded when he arose to speak that he
dropped at once into his most pleasing
vein and related humorous anecdote of
man who spoke too frequently and too
long at school commandments, and was
therefore called bore.
"Now, children" asked ex-senator Rus
sell, what is bore?"
There was no response.
alt is not possible, children" said the
ex- Senator, that you are not able to tell
me what bore is. Now 1 see bright
looking little fellow sitting in that front
row. I am sure he knows. Tell me.
sonny, what is bore?"
The bright boy looked just then trifle
bewildered, but said nothing, and Mr..
Russell to encourage him, remarked
"Come, my boy, speak up; l know you
can tell me. Now what is a bore?"
The boys face Redeemed. He seemed
anxious to avoid observation as he twist
ed uneasily in his chair, but the whole
school with parents, friends, teachers,
principal and distinguished guests await
ed eagerly and in dead silence his an
swer. There was no escape for him, and
Just as the long pause was becoming
painful he blurted OUT
"a Senator!"
Such shout of laughter was never
before heard in Brooklyn school build
ing. 1t was so prolonged that ex-senator
Russell waited three minutes before att
tempting to renew his speech. Then the
audience roared again, and again the ex-
Senator was compelled to wait till the
laugh rolled by. A few minutes later
during the course of his speech, he tried
to aim witty shot at the boy who had
knocked him out, but the audience was
i'll sympathy with the boy, and for the
third time the laugh was against the ex>
Senator. Mr.. Russell says that he would
now rather deliver an address to hos
tile political club than attempt again to
catechise an audience of schoOlbOys.
FoRTY-FIvE years ago the engage
ment of p. J. Jones and his sweetheart
was broken, and each married. She be-
came Mrs. N. Clark, of Mclean, ILL.,, and
he settled in Hancock, Mass. Mrs.
Iopac 1iat nnd oa d;l Mr Hiariy anH n