davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
Plantation Philosophy.

De man, when he sells yer suthin'
would cheat yer, would, when he gins
yer suthin', gin yer de bes' he's got"
1t am de small things in dis heah
worP dat er man haster fear. It's de
little mule dat's de mos APP ter kick er
pusson.
/ doan kere how spectacle er 'oman
is, eff she doan lub her husban' wild her
whole soul, she amt gwine ter be tire
" true ter him. De man whit marries
er oman dat amt ies' ez anxious ter
marry him ez he is ter marry her is er
fool. 1t may take him er laung time
ter fine it out, but de day will come.
In all natur' der ant nuthin' weaker
den de human family, an o desc, de
'oman is de weakest an yit de strong
est. She is weakes' in putting up wild
things dat she doan like an stronges'
wild things dat she do lub. Her hub is
her strength, an her lack o Tub is her
weakness, fur Ell oman whit KANT Tub
amt no better den er animal. L know
dat wimen hab fell case da lubed too
much in er unwise way, but whar one
hab fell on ercount o too much Tub, er
hunnerd hab fell case da didn't Tub
ernuff. Trdreler.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
A Story Of Daniel Drew.

Mr.. Drew was squeezed one famous
day by operators in Northwest stock,
and he la d down big pile of money
in losses. Not unnaturally, Mr.. Drew
felt grieved, while other people were
correspondingly high-spirited and hap
Ply. 1t was a great thing to catch the
wiley deacon mapping, and hundi ed
Jokes went the rounds in celebration of
his upsetting. Some of these bits of
humor fell upon Uncle Daniels own
ears, but he didn't seem to pay much
heed to comments that made all the
rest of Wall street laugh hilariously.
Some young men old enough to know
better even went so far as to accost
him personally and laugh in his face.
Behind the smile that lighted his face
it is barely possible that the recording
angel heard grinding of teeth, but
the festive brokers did not hear any
such thing, and they went on their way
rejoicing for many days. One evening
big congregation of them were in an
uptown club when all unexpected in
marched Uncle Daniel Drew. He had
called only for moment, he was hunt
ing for q man he did not find. 1t was
not an excessively warm night, but
Uncle Daniel seemed to be much over
heated, and two or three times he drew
out his big white handkerchief and
bathed his face in it; and finally out of
his pocket with the handkerchief came
q slip of white paper to float and circle
around till it settled ut his feet on the
floor. Mr.. Drew didn't notice that he
had lost anything; the speculative gen.
tlemen before him did. and the foot of
one enter prising broker was big
enough to cover the slip of paper over
as it lay there on the floor Mr.. Drew
went out. The eager crowd gathered
up the white scrap, and this in the
Wall street kings own unmistakable
handwriting was what it said: "Buy me
all the & shkosh stock you can at any
pri you can get it be ow par" Csh-
kosh was already pretty nigh. Every
body was agreeing that it was too high,
and that n tumble was inevitable. but
the handwriting of the millionaire
operator plainly exposed on that slip
of paper was sufil lent to convince the
eager crowd in that club-room that
night that some new scheme must be
afioat TO send il further skyward.
Right through the milestone they saw
it all, and then and there they made up
pool to buy twenty or thirty thousand
shares the next day. They did, and
the man who sold it to them was
Dan ell Drew. He blandly told them
ali about it as they saw their money ali
going to pot { shkosh declined a dozen
points day. MIR. Drew's handker-
chief exercise had been carefully
planned.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
Executions i'm Erance.

They have no laundering executions
in France. The executoner is neither
a hero nor an outcast, as in other
countries. The system of executions
has been simplified as much as pos
sible. The instrument is ere ted the
night before, and tried on dummy to
see that it works we'll. Formerly the
condemned was often tortured and torn
and hacked, and he was always en-
couraged 10y having good look at the
cleaning knife as he approached the
CHASTITY instrument. Now the knife is
hidden, the victim is in position in two
or three seconds. noiseless touch Of
the button, and all is over.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
Not with That Show.

An advertisement of: a party want
ed to travel with theatrical company
as treasurer" brought about meeting
between q Detroiter and q theatrical
man at q hotel the other day.
did you ever act in such a capacity 2"
was asked.
"No, but feel equal to the emer-
gency."
ooh, you do? How will you go to
work to get us out on the road for our
first stand?"
"Whv? Haven't you got any money ?"
"Not a dollar. We may strike luck
the first night, and we may do a poor
business for a week. Can you arrange
to keep us alongs until we hit pay
dirt ?'
81 don't see how"
~And are you talker? Can you get
us out of hotel where we are owing
S25 and nothing to pay withp Can you
give owners of halls the grand stand
off? Can you fix il with ticket agents
to pass us as dead-heads? When sal
ary-day comes around eau you smooth
it over with the kickers?"
Ell don't believe j could.
'"Nor 1, either. Young man, go
hencel Go out and strike Job of
saving wood, shoveling dirt, or ditch
digging. You'll have less on your mind
and more in your pocket. Detroit
Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
CONFIDENCE.


Flowers may bloom and look sweet.
Hope may Dire in despair,
Hearts may melt at maidens feet;
Not mine. for you are enshrined there.
Birds may sing and seem glad,
Happiness may shed it's tear,
I4ves NAV be made gloomy and sad;
Not mine, as long as you are near.
The sun may shine warm and clear,
Devotion may lose its charm,
Love may be whispered TO n selfish ear
Not mine, for consistency fears no harm.
Stars NAV twinkle i'm glee,
The best OF friends may part,
Sympathy may take wings and nee;
Not mine, I've lily's heart.
Let the years come and 90,
Let tears and smiles have their NIL,
Let the rivers cease To iow
But, love, you must be with me still.
Hearts have often been broken,
Lovers have parted mad
Not me- for constancy l. the only word spoke
Fidelity the only thought I've had.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

Mr. Sala has lately made careful
division of book lovers into four classes,
agd people who enjoy stocking their
shelves from time to time will now be
able to describe their motives In book
buying by the use of the terms which
Mr.. Sala has defined with Characters
tic illustrations 1t is a misfortune
that more euphonious terms could not
be compounded from the Greek to
characterize two of the divisions of the
great and growing army of book-lovers,
but in the general interest of accuracy
and conformity there will be no revolt
on the part of those who find them
selves described as "bibliognostes" and
"bibliotaphe. According to Mr.. Sala,
"book-lovers are either bibliognostes,
bibliomancs, bibliophiles, or biblio-
taphes. The bibliognoste is learned in
title-pages and editions, presses, and
places of issue. He knows by heart
the criteria of every editio princeps ;; lie
has Brunei and Dibdin at his fingers
ends, and can tell you at once that the
Aristotle of Manutius in good condi-
ton is worth ESQ, but that a Bebal is
not worth as many sixpences. The
bibliomane is a mere collector who,
blessed with long purse, buys what
ever comes in his way. A bit of biblio-
name was Peter the Great, who, when
his shelves were built, sent for the
booksellers of st. Petersburg and said
Fill those with books. with what
books, your Majesty? was the not un-
natural question. With what books?
Why, with big books below, and with
little books above The bibliophile-
the true lover of books--is he who
buys to read and enjoy. The biblio-
taphe is he who hides his books away
under lock and key or who immures
them in close-fitting glass cases, and
knows little of them beyond their titles
and the price which he has paid for
each. THE Book buyer.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
THE FEMALE oRGAN-GRINDER.

THE FEMALE ORGAN-GRlNDER.
She was but organ grinder, with little dog
behind her. and monkey on the organ
which collected oil the dimes,
And her face had all the sorrow that a human
face can borrow she twisted on the
handle, playing tunes TO ancient rhymes.
There not grain of pity for the woman in
the city, and the boys and men about her
hoOted as she played away;
Then i cried: "On, Vagrant woman, exile from
castle Roman, battered relic of an era
where your race was of the best
Tell me, now, that / have sought you, tell me,
woman, what has brought you from Italian
skies of azure to the deserts of the West?
Has some cruel word, idly spoken, turned you,
homeless and heart broken, from those flow
cry wales and hollows whore the Roman
castles stand?
Or were You some gentle maiden dwelling in an
earthly Alden when some social revolution
drove YOU from your lovely land?
Tell me- old and battered woman. are your sor-
rows more than HUMANE Is the music that
you furnish grating on n weary hearth
And the woman dropped her organ, crying, us IL
Biddy Morgan that we're calm ould and
battered? Now, begorrah you departl'
Note-I departed.
Walt Mason, IL ST. Louis Whip.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

WATER forms of man twenty-five per
cent. of the bones, seventy-five per cent.
of the muscles, eighty per cent of the
blood, and eighty-fie per cent. OF the
gray substance of the brain. Thus the
highest functionary organ comes near
to being merely organized water.
Much is being written of late of the
ACCESSIBILITY of drinking considerable
water, to afford new supplies and keep
things moving-that is, the secretions
active. DR.. Foote's Health Monthly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
distressing Poverty.

"How's Potter getting along nova
days ?" inquired one gentleman of an
other, speaking IN regard to a mutual
acquaintance.
"Gone mp; busted"
"Poor, is hep"
II should say he was. Gone to the
bad entirely. Why, Pouter is SO hard
up he couldn't buy silver dollars if they
were retailing at cents apiece. y
Merchant TrdUeler
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
HUMOR.
A HOME ruler-the broom-stick.
Eoo. ,okas ohaa and Iaathar a.,

A HOME ruler-the broom-stick.
Foor notes-shoe and leather pa
per-"
A SEE change-putting on green cog
giles.
DRAWING struments-mustard plas-
tiers.
The rumor that "the world moves"
because it is cheaper to move than to
pay rent is denied.
A RULE that works both ways-when
a fleet goes out on cruise the crews
go out on the fleet.
The members of a debating society
must arise when arguing case be-
cause they stand to reason.
Ii love rs blind, as some folks say,
how is it that spoony couples always
persist in turning the parlor lamp so
low?
JoHNNIE's teacher asked him to tell
her what "he drinks" would be in the
future tense. "He is drunk" said the
boy.
The average life OF locomotive is
thirty years. 1t must pain a lo:omo-
tive to know that 1t will never be old
enough to be a ballet-dancer, even ii 1T
had the necessary limbs.
A PHYSICIAN in Missouri has his
sleigh drawn by team of elks. That
isn't the only dear thing about his
visits, either. He has right to charge
double for his medical cervuses.
A BROWNSVILLE Tex paper calls
the Mexican raiders into Texas "braZen
banditti." The press dispatches stated
that the banditti were mounted, but
not that they were brass mounted.
SAYS a scientific writer: "On clear
night about three thousand stars are
visible to the naked eyed. A Ike num-
Der in the opposite hemisphere makes
total of about six thousand that can
be seen without a glass" Well bet
that that fellow never attended skat-
ing rink or fell on a avement.-Cdli-
for1aia Maverick.
IsN'C this train about two hours late?"
asked passenger of the conductor on
branch Dakota road. "Yes, / reckon
bout that much" well, what's the
trouble?" "Oh, it's Monday" whats
that got to do with it?" "Why, you
see l can't never get as good a start
Monday morning-have to tend the
baby while my wife gets out the wash
ing, you know. Just you wait till to-
morrow morning and I'll pull out be-
fore sunrise. "-EStelline Bell.
TWO PICTURES.
Pretty girl
On the street,
Cherry lips,
oh, so sweet.
Dashing fellow,
Looks SO nice,
Falls in love
In thrice.
Tips his hat.
Makes n mash,
Eats ice cream,
Spends his cash.
Better man
Cuts him out,
Dashing fellow
Up the spout
Girl mares
Better man,
Gets ice cream
If she can.
Dashing follow
Has his cash,
Better
Gone TO smash.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27
A Sufficient EycIIse.

Cora (surprised)-Why don't you
have your dresses made shorter?
1 hats the fashion now.
Mamie (confidentially)-How can ].
dear? Just look; L always wear the
heels of my shoes over on the Sides
pucE
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

On the accession of James III. that
monarch declared, without the for
mality of law, the charter of Massachu-
sets to be void, and appointed Joseph
Dudley President of the country from
Rhode Island to Nova Scotia. Tho
people of England, misinformed by
their rulers, approved the measure, and
the tone of society there was one OF
contempt for the plantations.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

ZINC dust has been found by an
English investigator to absorb hydro
gen from O moist atmosphere at mod
crate temperature. 1t has, in fact, the
power of occluding the gas after the
manner Of spongy platinum.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

ATTENTION has been called to the
fact that the streams in certain cultivat-
ed portions of Northern Texas now run
during the part of the year when they
were formerly dry. This is not at
tributed to any change in tho rainfall,
but to a more eveh absorption of water
over the cultivated areas.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

THE great mistake that some people
make is, they think more of their cum
ming than they do of their honesty.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-05-27

IT takes 144,000 watch screws to
weigh pound.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22
Wiscasset and Kenncbec Railroad.

The article copied from the Portland
Express. in another column. sets forth the
fact that there is a great deal of interest
felt in relation to the matter of railroad
from Wiscasset up the valley of the Ken
nebec to connect with the Canadian Pacific
and Lewis and Kennebec railroads. near
the northern line of the State. and that
measures are being taken to push the pro-
iect to completion. The road to be built
is only LOG miles in length. Il will pass
through one OF the best manufacturing
and farming portions of the State, through
the State Capital. and have as its southern
terminus a harbor of unequaled advant-
ages for commerce.
Spasmodic efforts have heretofore been
made to build the projected road. but the
connection with the Lewis and kennebec
road alone was not sufficient to induce the
enlistment of capital in its behalf. But
the construction of the Canadian Pacific
has put very different face on the
prospects of the contemplated road
TO Wiscasset. Now it is the con-
uection of the proposed road with the
Canadian Pacific, the Intercolonial, and
the Lewis railroad and Quebec.-s junction
with the entire railroad system of the
Dominion of Canada, rendering the road
an important link in one of the greatest
enterprises for freight and travel that this
age has seen.
The prospectus of the road is now being
prepared by Ex-Governor Common. and
when it is issued, which will be very soon,
it will give full information in regard to
the great advantages of the haroor of
Wiscasset as winter port for foreign snd
domestic commerce, and of the site of
Wiscasset as location for all the business
of shipment and trans-shipment connect
ed with the great lines of road interested
The Canadians are not Ignorant of the
route proposed or the advantages of Wis
casset harbor. They have for several
years contemplated the building of the
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22
Sold only in Augusta by
G. IN. Allen & Co.,
Coz. Water & Bridge SITS.
AUGUSTA, NE.
UTTERLY DISCOURAGED

expresses the feeling of many victims OF
rheumatism, neuralgia, sciatica and ner-
vous or sick headache. Having tried
numberless so-called remedies, and phvsi-
clans of all schools, without relief there
seems to be no hope. Many such have as
last resort tried Athlophoros and to thei.
surprise and joy have found that it was
sye, sure and quick cure Athlophoros is no,
an experiment; thousands have been cured
by its use and they testify as to it's value.
Gardiner, Me, April 7, 1886.
Hearing from so many different people
words of praise for Athlophoros, bought
and used two bottles, from the first
bottle | received genuine benefit, my rheu-
matism improved so much the neighbors
began to ask me when they saw me NOV
ing around as though hadn't rheumatism
what became Of my rheumatism, and !
simply said | am using Athophoros. and
that's enough, the name of that medicine
means rheumatism cured
Mrs MARY d. SMITH.
Lewiston, Me, April 4, 1886
% Sabattis St
| would say as regards Athlophoros it is
the only remedy for rheumatism that |
i'''O 'NCh doit W uHu tildl uDeS reaCn the
disease. 1t has done wonderful for nv
family, we have used but two bottles, and
rave nearly got free of the disease, my wife
having it in the chest and side very bad.
+. f. LITCHFIELD.
81 Main St, Saco, Me-, March 26, 1886.
Wishing to confer any blessing in NV
power upon my fellow men. hereby GER
MY that have used Athlophoros in nv
.AmllY with perfect success in cases of rheu-
nlajism of long standing
JAMES W. LITrI .EFrEtD.
Every druggist should keep Athlophoros
anu Atnlophoros Pills, nut where they can
mi be bought of the druggist the Athlo-
phoros Co, liz Wall St, New York. will
send either Carriage paid on receipt Of
regular price, which is $lO0 per bottle
.or Athlophoros and soc for Pills.
For liver and kidney diseases. dyspepsia in.
digestion, weakness, nervous DEBILITY. diseases
Of women, cons pn'i"n. hcndacac in pure
blood, &c, Athloph1 n.S Ills are uneQualed
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

The intention an the part of the Maine
Central Railroad to reduce its passenger
tariff next January is another instance OF
its good will towards the people of the
State of Maine. The consideration of this
company IN voluntarily reducing passen-
ger rates and in granting concessions in
freight rates is one which will be appreci-
ated by its patrons, and shows willing
ness in this great corporation not to mis-
use the great power which it possesses.
but by generous and fair usage to main
tain the favor Of the citizens OF the State,
and aid in developing its business and re-
sources.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22
What senator Nelson thinks of Allcoek's
Porous Piasters.

SENATE CHAABER, ALBANY n. Y, Apr.4, IS.
On the 9th OF February 1888, was taken
with violent pain in the region of the
kidneys. | suffered such agony that | could
hardly stand up. AS soon as possible l sp-
piled two AiicOck's Porous Plasters, one over
each kidney, and laid down. In an hour. to
my surprise and delight, the pain had
vanished and I was we'll. | wore the plaster
tor day or two precautlon, and then
removed them. have been using Allcoek's
Porous Plssters in nv family for the last ten
years, and have always found them the
quickest aud best external remedy for colds,
strains and rheumatic affections. From my
experience believe they are the best plasters
in the world. HENRY c. NELSON.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

road. but never before had 30 maay in
ducements to put their capital into the en-
terprise. One of our Kennebec men
starts to-day for Quebec to communicate
with parties Immediately interested,
and if he finds the feeling there as favora-
Bile as he has good reason to believe it is,
measures will soon be taken to raise the
necessary funds for the construction of
the road.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

The Missouri democrat who was sus-
pended from the office of United States
district attorney for pernicious activity
during the recent campaign, has been
reinstated. but the Pennsylvania republi.
can who was suspended from similar
Office for the same offence is still out. II
this is the sort of reform that the merry
mugs wumped for. they paid a pretty stiff
price for a very ordinary article.-Phila
delphia Press.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22
Wonderful Cures.

W. d. Hoyt & Co., Wholesale and Retail
Druggists Of Rome Ga, say: We have been
selling DIR Kings New Discovery, Electric
Bitters and Bucklin's Arnica Ssive for two
years. Have never handled remedies that
sell as we'll, or give such universal satisfac-
ton. There have been some wonderful cures
effected by these medicines in this city.
Several cases of pronounced Consumption
have been entirely cured by use of feS
bottles of DR.. Kings New Discovery, taken
in connection with Electric Btters. We
guarantee them always. Sold BY Devine &
Coughlin.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

The Portland Press is informed that the
Sinaloa colonists are to leave for their
destination as soon as arrangements can
be made with the railroads.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

The rumor that Garland is to be re
moyed and Charles X. Buckalew of
Pennsylvania appointed as his successor.
seems too good to be true. and it is "ofli-
cially denied" bv Dan" Lamont. Still
"ofiiciaI denials" at the White House mean
nothing in this administration.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

1t sounds encouraging to hear the In
dianapolis Journal say that the republi-
cans of that State will not be swerved a
hairs breadth from their duty by the
threats and buster OF the suffrage
thieves who are trying to steal the legsla
ture
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

Why suffer with bad cold when one
bottle OF DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup will cure a
cough of the worst kind. DR.. Bulls Cough
Syrup is sold for twenty five cents per bottle
by all druggists in the United States.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

We have heard many of our old friends
say that Salvation Oil cured them of rheu-
mstism. Those who have not tried it should
do so. Our druggists sell it for twenty-fi five
cents bottle all the time.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

have used in my practice DR.. Seth Arnod's In
dian Vegetable Pills, and must say that they act
more pleasantly than any other pill have used or
prescribed.-J. A. Sapp, NJ. D., Salineville, Ohio.
25c. ST druggists.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1886-11-22

DR.. Soule's Pills are the most perfect bill
ious and liver pills ever produced.
nov22deod&wlw