davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
A NICE LIGHT BUSINESS.
One of the Methods Employed by Liquor
Dealers to Introduce i heir Goods.

| was sitting in the rooms of one OF
the best clubs in New York city last
night when a man, who was so richly
dressed that he was little over dressed,
entered and seated himself at table in
a group of his acquaintance He joined
in the chat that was going on about the
races and other topics for quarter of
an hour or so and then ordered two
bottles of champagne for the party. He
called for an old and popular brand of
wine and gave the most minute dlrec-
lions for icing and serving it. When
the wine was poured he gave his friends
royal toast, betting the very late
hour at which they were drinking. This
put them all in the best of spirits. No
sooner did he himself touch his lips to
the wine, however, than he coughed
himself almost into a fit, dashed the
wine, glass and all, to the floor and
made a great how-de-do for a few
minutes. of course the whole club
room was in uproar to know the cause
of the trouble.
The man about town finally composed
himself and said: "It's that beastly
wine, boys, I don't know how many
warnings | have received never to buy
that brand again and [ never will.
Here, waiter, take this away and give
us some -(naming a brand of wine.
That's the only kind to drink. | tell
you, boys, this stuff here is going down
frightfully. There was a time when
would drink nothing else, but l want
none of it now.
The other wine was brought on and
drank. A few minutes later l left the
club with my friend, who is an old club
man. When we reached the sidewalk
spoke of the incident and my companion
said:
"Why, that is getting to be an old
trick now, although | never saw it
played before just in that way. That
fellow is an agent for the kind of wine
he called for last He belongs to half
a dozen clubs that l know of, does
nothing but knock about town in the
winter, and 90 to the fashionable re-
sorts in summer, and turns in his ex-
penses to the wine house. His business
is to get the club men drinking that
wine, and no amount of money is spared
to make him successful in doing so.
Most of the great wine houses in the
country pay club man in New York,
Philadelphia, Boston and Chicago. The
salary is from $50 to $50 week and
all expenses that is to say, all the wine
ordered. The position requires tact
and rare social qualities, for if it once
became known that any gentleman is
paid to run down the wine tuat he
makes fuss over, his influence would
be lost. He probably spends SO, 200
year outside of his salary, but could
name four men in this city who would
be worth $780, 900 apiece to a wine
house.
"By doing as that man has done to-
night 2" l asked.
"Not at all. If these four men that
I could name would agree to order one
special brand of wine for one year, and
drink no other, all swelldom would be
drinking it IN half that time. Now |
know that one of the swell young men
who run about town gets a handsome
retainer from a neckwear house for
simply wearing every new tie or scarf
that they make and exhibiting it around
the Brunswick and other fashionable
resorts
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
Women VIII Travel.

''Has it ever occurred to yOu," asked
a travelling man of reporter for the
Detroit Free Press at the Michigan Cen
trail Passenger Station recently, ''that
the woman who travel outnumber the
men in about the proportion Of four to
twoY
''Never thought of it."
"Well, that fact You'll find it SO
all over the United States 1 never sit
down in a waiting room or a passenger
station that | don't count the inmates.
Comes just as natural as life-a habit
that | have gotten into. In this room,
now, ladies outnumber the men five to
two, as you will find by counting them.
1t varies greatly, of course, but any one
who has watched the thing as long as
have will say that my general average Is
correct.
when l was in Europe" continued
the travelling man, "a great many people
spoke to me about the penchant of the
American people for travel l tell you
that the women are responsible for our
reputation in this regard. They will
travel about the country and stand more
fatigue than the men and find enjoy
ment in iUn
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
The Story of HumbOldts Maniac.

The case of the late mad King Louis
of Bavaria revived the very Old question
as to where reason ends and madness
begins. Apropos of the discussion,
a French paper tells q story. During
one of his visits to Paris, Baron Won
Humboldt expressed to his friend, Dr.
Blanche, the distinguished authority in
matters concerning insanity, a desire to
meet one of his patients.
Nothing easier" said DR.. Blanche.
"Come and take dinner with me to-mor-
row."
Next day Humboldt found himself
seated at the dinner-table of the famous
alienist, in company with two unknown
guests. One OF them, who was dressed
in black, with white cravat, gold bowed
spectacles, and who had a smooth face
and very bald head, sat with great
gravity through the entire dinner. He
was evidently gentleman of undoubted
manners, but very taciturn. He bowed,
ate, and said not a word.
The other guest, on the contrary,
wore a great shock of hair brushed
wildly into the air; his shabby blue coat
was buttoned askew, his collar was
rumpled, and the ends of his crazy neck
tie toa!ed over his shoulders. He helped
himself, ate and chartered at the same
time.
Story upon story did this incoherent
person pile up. He mixed the past with
the present, flew from Swedenborg to
Fourier, from Cleopatra to Jenny Lind,
from Archimedes to Lamartine, and
talked politics and literature in the same
breath
At the dessert Humboldt leaned over
and whispered in his hosts ear, glanc-
ing at the same time at the fantastic
parsonage, whose discourse was sill
running on:
tnTn,-Aerv rlurh-obfiso6 TO your
Your man &C has greatly amused me-"
my maniac!" said the doctor, start
ing back, "N by, that isn't the lunatic.
It's the othe: one"
"What! The one who hasn't said a
word2"
certainly"
''But who in the world can the man
be who has talked in this fashion all the
while?"
"That is Balzac, the famous novelist"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
ENTOMBED ALIVE.
The Terrible Adventure of a San Joaquin
Sportsman.

John Barrett, who has just returned
from Howard Springs, met with little
adventure in the third person while at
that mountain resort. Among the
party at the springs was a man who was
very fond of hunting. He started of
before dawn one morning, and toward
dusk he was still absent. A party OF
searchers started out and met him in the
WOODS. He was covered With blood and
scratches. According to his story he
had sighted a tree squirrel on branch,
and the result proved almost a horrible
death-not to the squirrel, for, being a
fancy hunter, the sportsman merely
wounded that animal-but to the man
himself After wounding the squirrel
he climbed the tree to bring it down.
I he terrified animal crawled to the top
of the trunk just as the hunter got
there. The trunk proved to be hollow,
and the squirrel crawled down. While
grabbing for the game the man dropped
his gun down the hollow. The piece
was a valuable one, and the sportsman
determined to recover it. So he slid
down the inside of the trunk. But upon
attempting to climb out, what was his
horror TO find himself entombed alive.
Minutes Jagged into hours, and still no
responses came to his shouts for help.
Hope and strength at last died out.
Suddenly an object partly obscured the
skylight of his tomb. Thinking his
shouts had been heard he gave an ex-
clamation of joy but the object, instead
of responding, descended the trunk tail
end first. 1t was black bear. I'm
sheathing his knife--the gun lay out of
reach, save by an impossible stoop-the
man braced himself for the struggle.
Down came bruin, and at suitable
moment the hunter prodded him in the
launches. The bear instantly scrambled
up A brilliant idea flashed across the
mans mind. He seized the animal by
the tail. and, happily, was dragged up
to daylight. Reaching the oriice of the
trunk he cut off the tail of his rescuer
and generously allowed him to escap'.
In proof of the truth of this story, the
huntsman exhibited his scratched elbows
and knees. On the following day the
tree was found and feiled. The gun
and the squirrel were brought to light
Conclusive evidence turned up a few
days thereafter, when the tailless bear
was seen in the woods by reputable
parties who were stopping at the hotel.
The name of the man who met with the
adventure is Rudolph Dissatisfaction
iT,,5y
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
Found IL River.

A report has been received at the
Navy Department from Lieut.. George
NJ. Stoney, commanding the Alaska ex-
loring expedition, dated Fort Cosmon,
Putnam River, Dec. 26, 1885. Lieut..
Stoney states that between the 10th and
18th of December, accompanied by En-
sign Howard, he made sledging expe-
dition to the noIthward, and reached
the headwaters of river which flows TO
the northward. The natives say that
thi river empties into the Arctic near
Point Barrow. Owing to the shortness
Of the days. having only twilight and
moonlight, he could not m Ike much
Roadway, and regarded it more practical
to continue exploring the country nearer
headquarters and take up the northern
country when the days lcngthen. Every
effort would be made to explore the
river mentioned and also to reach Point
Barrow, thereby completing the explora-
ton of Arctic Alaska. On his no them
trip he came across natives VINO had
never before seen white men, and who
were at first much surprised to see the
viii man come among them. There
being but two whites in the party Lieut..
Stoney at first feared trouble, but the
natives proved to be very kind nd
friendly. Their curiosity was, however
beyond Imagination Some of these
natives claimed that they sometimes
visited Point Barrow by way of the
river. Their chief food is the flesh of the
reindeer
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
BOslOn's Suicide Defaulter.

With regard to Mr.. Gray, who ran a
fast course and killed himself a news
paper correspondent says that the two
corporations which employed him
had no system of rules for the eXamina-
ton or his accounts. AS long as he
could make dividends so that the stock
holders felt themselves rich he was al
lowed to do pretty much as he pleased,
no regular examination of mis- books be-
ing made, though it was known that he
kept yacht, the most expensive form
of enjoyment. However, he received
$40, 900 a year, and that should have
been enough to support a family and a
boat. 1t is not very probable that his
method of domestic living caused his
downfall. No city in the country has
more social secrets than Boston, and ed
uCation in careless woman merely en-.
hances her power over business man.
The mistress whose mind has been
trained above that of the man whose
dependent she has become leads him
the furthest beyond his depth, since his
inferiOrity soon makes him morally timid
to serve her behests. The most expen-
sive intrigues are those which come
from the nearest to responsibility. A wo-
man, with decent surroundings, who
from the mere love of display seduces a
family man, expects him to pay the
highest penalty for her condescension.
In Gray's case there are already rumors
of an expensive woman somewhere in
the back ground. A man who owns a
yacht is always in temptation. He soon
exhausts the waters adjacent to his place
of residence, and must rely upon the So
c1ety he can carry off with him, like
Don Juan running up the Mediterra-
mean.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
Drawing the Lines.

This is the way new novelist makes
a New York mil ionaire talk 10 the wo-
man he believes 20 be his wife:
You've roped me in; you've caught
me and got the better OF me, You can
say il, if you want to, and you can say
what no three men in the world can saw.
But take your satisfaction out of it while
you can, by George, for my loss has got
TO be covered, and you're going to cover
it. l amt going to get a separation
and settle you down to get fat on ali
mony-no, blame it, | know a better
trick than that. You married me for
Il oney, and the marriage you shall have,
but no money. Your 10 be my prop
erty; you've got good enough brains
and Pye bought them. You are
my wife. You are to represent
me, and, by G., you'll fin me a
tough constituency. We're goin' to 90
into society some day, when COMFY
grows up; till then you'll keep quiet
When l want you I'll call for you.
Dress as my wife ought to, drive as my
wife ought to, live as my wife ought
to-but remember that foot the bills
You touch never penny of all you
spend From this day on you shall
never know what it is to have a dime of
your own. I'll be your taskmaster-
hat2 your taskmaster. l mean you to
feel that you shall never charge a dollar
to my account but what I'll know it.
mean you to feel that you can't buy a
petticoat loo much but VIII I'll take
the worth of 1t out of you. If not in
one way, why then in another. I've got
you under my thumb and I'm going to
use you-and if 1t amt a toture for
YOU to be up TO your neck in money
and rot be able to take a cent, why
don't know you 81 think l do. Do
J GU think you understand met
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
A Tendon Cunjut er's New Trick.

The Whitehall ReDieW :-"The
disappearance of a lady in full sight of
the audience" is the latest feat of the
conjurers, and, as it is being performed
in ''empty' London, it is causing no
little sensation among those few last
persons left In town The trick appears
to us. to be an improvement on the
familiar Indian basket trick. he lazy
who has to disappear must, of course,
90 somewhere or other, 50 that the trick
must necessarily be an optical delusion
It is none tue worse, but rather all the
better, on this account, for there is moth
ing more delightful in its way than to
be taken in" by a conjuror who, to ali
Appearances, has neither mirrors nor
mechanism TO help him. In the present
trick girl seats herself upon a chair in
the centre Of the stage. Underneath
the chair newspaper has been spread,
and screen surrounds the chair on
three sides. A large silk sEeet is then
put over the figure of the girl. 1t is
easy to see that she disappears at once,
though the conjurcr occasionally lifts
the covering to show her legs the lady
is dressed in douDlet and "tights"-and
thus p"Ove thai she has not gone. But
the legs are clearly dummies and the
suspension of the silk covering clearly
mechanical. he figure does disappear,
that is clear, and the trick is remark
ably clever one,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
He Wanted TO Die.

The st. Paul Globe says:-"So you
want to die, do you?" asked a rescuer
of man whom he had just taken out
of the river, the would be suicide having
thrown himself in to end his earthly
existence.
"Oh, why did you save me?" gaspel
the rescued victim from a watery grave.
"Why didn't you let me drown and thus
end my miserable life?'
care you determined TO die?'' asked
the rescuer.
Nothing would tempt me to prolong
my stay on this earth. l long to be at
peace and sleep the sleep which knows
no waking. Oh, why did you rescue
me?"
"Well, if you want to die so darn
bad, continued the misguided rescuer,
''pll put you in the way of quicker
death than drowning and surer one,
too"
Tell me what it is and I'll gladly in
vite it"
Get the position of League umpire
and decide all close plays against the
home club. Try it once and see how
long you can live "
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
HumOr in Arcade.

A "vaulting ambition which Ger leaps
itself is by no means confined to those
who fill high station and are born TO
power and dignity. 1t may show itself
in the cobbler as well as IN the KING
n amusing example was recently given
by a member of rural school board. A
laboring man, illiterate and poverty
stricken, sought the suffrages OF his l.
low rate payers as a candidate Tor seat
on the local educational parliament. by
q freak of fortune in the shape OF the
cumulative vote, he was elected. Inc
honor proved insufficient to allay MS
thirst for fame and for the conscious
exercise of authority He must needs
conduct an examination, on the follow
lines:
CHOW, you lads, before you goes any
farther with the reading OF this chapter,
let me just see if you knows the meanln
of the words you have read. 1t says
something here about gross darkness.
Now, what is that2 What IS gross dark
ness?"
A chorus of youthful volces-some not
without an infection of scorn at the in
suit to their intelligence conveyed IN
the putting of so simple query-makes
answer, "Great darkness, sir"
The inquisitor shakes his head tri-
umphantly No." he says, "not ex-
actly. What's darkness, boys?"
The unexpected and bewildering re,
buf seems to have inaugurated tenn
porary reign of silence. When the for
ward path discloses mysterious pitfalls,
it is well to walk with circumspectlon.
But at last solitary, piping treble ven
lures highly original definition
"Please sir, it's what there is after the
sun sets and before the lamps are lit"
"Well, yes"-as if condescendingly
considering -"you're right. Now, what's
CROSSE"
The response comes with great volume
and more assurance. This, at least, is
solid ground of mathematical fact.
"Twelve dozen, sir"
''And how many is that9"
"a hundred and forty-four, sir"
Fright again. Now listen, you lads.
Gross darkness is darkness one hun
dred and forty-four times as great as
that which the scholar over against the
middle desk yonder described for US.
Don't you forget what gross darkness is
in future = CdsSelrS FamilY Magazine.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
One Way To Gain a Fortune.

In one of the costly cottages that
make up the Elberon colony a million
alre pork packer from the west is Inv
ing this summer. He and his brother
have for ten years controlled the prices
of any number of commodities through
out the country, and their operations
are watched daily by thousands anxious
TO do their bidding. Yet it is not much
more than quarter of century ayo
that this man and his brother were run
ming bare-fOoted and hatless around the
streets of what was then the village of
Milwaukee, and their parents were sell
ing meat by the pound to the folks
about there. The two boys went to
Chicago, and now own the biggest
pork-pa" king house in the world, and
are worth millions.
A friend of mine sauntered down to
Alberon the other day and, finding the
wealthy pork packer seated on the
piazza enjoying cigar, introduced
himself and asked him for some infor
nation about a matter in which both
had an interest. There was nothing to
lose or to gain in giving it, but the re
ply came between the puifs of the mil
honaire's cigar: II never give anything
away that | can keep and make pro
fitable." There is good deal to think
over in that sentence It is the corner
stone of two immense fortunes, the bull
wark which two men of wealth have
built between themselves and tho
world, and the symbol of house that
has grown from a country butcher store
to the greatest in the world. | have
been wondering ever since whether
every one has to entomb himself in this
motto IN Older to gain fortune. -
Long Branch Correspondent PhiladeI
phia Pres.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
STORIES OF THE WAR.
stonewaII .IacLsOn's Flank Attack
charlottesville.

From General O. o. Towards article
III the Septem er Century, we quote as
follows: Somebody's guns Numbered
away for few short minutes, and then
came the fitful rattle of musketry; and
before | could again get into the saddle
there arose the ceaseless roar OF the ter
rible storm.
81 sent out my chief of staff, Colonel
Asmussen. who was the first officer to
mount,-'The firing is in front of Dew
ems. 90 and see if all is in order on the
extreme right. He instantly turned
and galIoped away. l mounted, and
set Of for prominent place in the rear
of Schurz's line, so as to change front
to the northwest of every brigade south
east of the point of attack extended be-
yond Devon right flank; for it was
OWNED at once that the enemy was
now west of him. | could see numbers
of our men-not the few stragglers that
always fly like the chaff at the first
breeze, but scores of them-rushlng
into the opening, some with arms and
some without, running or falling before
they got behind the cover of Devens
reserves, and before General SchurZ's
waiting masses could deploy or charge.
The noise and the smoke filled the air
with excitement, and to add to 1t DECK
mans guns and caissons, with artery
men scattered, rolled and tumbled like
runaway wagons and carts in thrOnged
city. The guns and the masses OF the
right brigade struck the second line OF
Devens before McLean's front had given
way, and, quicker than it could be told,
with all the fury of the widest hail-storm
everything, every sort of organization
that lay in the path of the mad current
of panic stricken men, had to give way
and be broken into fragments.
"My own horse seemed to catch the
fury; he sprang, he rose high on his
hind legs and fell over, throwing me
to the ground. My aide-de-camp, Det-
sauer, was struck by shot and killed,
and for few moments l was as helpless
as any of the men who were speeding
without arms to the rear. But faithful
orderlies helped me to remount.
Il rode quickly to the reserve bat
teries. A staff officer of General Hook
or, Lieutenant Colonel Dickinson, joined
me there; my own staff gathered around
me. | was eager to fill the trenches
which Barlow would have held. Busch
beck's second line was ordered to change
front there, His men kept their ranks,
but at first they appeared slow, will
they never get therer
Dickinson said, oh, General, see
those men coming from that hill way off
to the right, and there's the enemy after
them. Fire, oh, fire at them; you may
stop the fiightp
I" No, Colonel, said, 1 will never
fire on my own men!"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-09-23
THEIRS WATCH.

Grandfather's watch is battered and old,
Innocent quite of jewel or gold;
Poor and common, and worn and cracked,
Much like graRdfather's self, in fact.
Yet its wheezy voice has cheerful sound,
And the child as she listens in wonder bound
To its mystic tales of departed time
Is smiling as though at pleasant rhyme.
What are the tales the old watch tells?
of seventy years it counts the knells;
Years whose every setting sun
Was marked by labor faithfully done.
With primitive form and clumsy skill,
And ciumsier help when the work went i'll;
let serving their time as best they can
This is the story of the watch and mani
Many fall has the old watch hushed,
Many blow mas the old man crushed,
Meddled with, tinkered and sorely tried,
AT Last rejected and thrown aside
for modern rivals, all science and gold,
Useless and crippled, despised and old,
Under a cloud and under ban
This is the story of watch and man.
BEt there's reverse to the picture sad;
Human hearts they can still make glad.
The watch in its depted silver case
Can bring smile to the fair child's face.
The mans all battered and silvery, too,
With moral can cheer both me and you,
''Mark our time as well as we cam
This is the lesson of watch and man.
"A HdEtd Constitution,