Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-22
ELEVATED.

A woman never knows whether the side walk is paved or not when she has on a new dress.-Somerville Journal.
 It has been discovered that the flaming meteor which fell in an Ohio town few days ago was nothing but switch which story window.-Philadelph Herald.
 He was a travelling printer, and being out of employment he hired himself outs to a farmer. One day the farmer said: 'I want you to set that hen." "How do you want me to set her, solid?'-Texas Sift- ings.
 Peoples ideas of musical excellence vary We wot of hand-organ man who never visits certain street because every house therein has an active piano. To quote his own words, stEet shocka my nerva. a."-Boston Transcript.
 'FBiddy." said lady to her servant, 'I wish you would step over and see how old Mrs. Jones is this morning." In 8 few min utes Biddy returned with the information that Mrs. Johes was seventy-two years seven months and twenty eight days old.-Chris tian Register.
 She-"Why, Charlesi how can you call Miss James plain? I wish I was half as good looking as she is' He-:'You are, Hattie, and you know it'' At last advices Hattie was endeavoring to decide whether she ought to be pleased or offended at the compliment Boston Transcript
 'Here, boys, stop that fighting" "We aint fighting, mister; we're playing politics." "What do you mean, then, by scratching each other and pulling hair and kicking each others shins?" ''Oh, you see, him an mo is on one side an we're lettin' the other boys see how much harmony there is in the party. y."-Chicago News.
 A Washington avenue boy was left with a neighbor while his parents went to see par ade, and overheard the following gossip about them: "It was 8 love match. They are most united couple. After all, the right way is to marry for love-" Here the 'cause she was fool. She said so!"-Satur- day Evening Spectator.
 The scene is young ladies' seminary. "Ah," said one young pupil to another in triumph, 'my mamma gives me penny every morning for taking spoonful of cod liver oil." "And what do you buy with the pennys" eagerly returned the second girl in q tone not devoid of envy. ''Oh," returned the former speaker, ''I do not spend it at all; mamma puts it away for me every day to buy more cod liver oil with!'-London Figaro.
 Mother-Are you going to take Bobby to the circus this afternoon!
 Father-No, these circuses are all nonsense. He will be better off for not going.
 Mother-The poor little fellow will be dis appointed. But what makes you so late to dinner, deara
 Father-I have been down at the depot watching them take the elephants of the train.-New York Sun.
 A few days ago two ladies, one of whom carried 8 baby, entered Boston carpet store and signifed their desire to look at some carpets. It was very warm day, but the salesman cheerfully showed roll after roll until the precipitation literally streamed from every pore of his body. Finally, one of the ladies asked the other if she did not think it was time to go. t'Not quite," was the answer of her companion, and then, in an undertone, she added, "Baby likes to see him roll them out, and it is not time to take the train yet."-Carpet Trade and Re- via