The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-09-18


| When the yellow-haired devi
of the Jack Greek Pizenweed wen,
to the Office at 7 o'clock A. NJ. or
the morning of the Sd of April
A. ID. 1877, he found the editor in
1t was so unusual to find the editor
in at that hour that the boy whis-
tied in low contralto voice and
passed on into the "news room, y
leaving the gentlemanly, genial and
urbane editor of the Pizenweed as
he found him, sitting in his foun-
dered chair, with his head inn
mersed in pile of exchanges on
the table and his venerable "44 .
near by, acting as paper weight.
The gentlemanly, genial and ur-
bane editor of the Pizenweed pre-
sented the appearance of man
engaged in sleeping off a long and
aggravated case of drunk. His hat
was on the back of his head, and
his features were entirely obscured
by the loose papers in which they
nestled.
Later on, Elijah p. Beckwith,
the foreman, came in and found
the following copy on the hook,
marked Loaded EDITORIAL" and
divided it up into takes" " for the
yellow-haired devil and himself.
"In another column of this issue
will be found, among the leading
notices, the first publication of
summons in an action of divorce,
in which our wife is plaintiff and
we are made defendant. While
generally deprecating the practice
of bringing private matters into
public through the medium of the
press, we feel justified in this in
stance, inasmuch as the summons
sets forth as cause of action that
we are and have been for the space
of ten years a confirmed drunkard
without hope of recovery and to-
tally unwilling to provide for and
maintain our said wife.
"That we have been given to
drink, VIC do not, at this time, un-
dertake to deny, or in any way
controvert, but that we cannot quit
at any time, we do most earnestly
contend.
in 1867, on the 4th of July, we
married our WIFE 1t was a joyful
day, and earth had never looked to
us so fair or so desirable as a sum
mer resort as it did that day. The
flowers bloomed, the air was fresh
and exhilarating, the little birds and
the hens poured forth their respect
i've lays. 1t was a day long to be re-
membered, and it seemed as though |
we had never seen nature get up
and hump herself to be so attractive |
as she did on this special morning |
the morning of all morhings-the |
on which we married our
wife.
Little did we dream that after
ten wears of varying fortune we
would give utterance to this edito-
rial. or that the steam power press
of the Pizenweed would squat this
legal notice for divorce, vinculo
ct thoro, into the virgin page of our
paper. But such is the case. Our
wife has abandoned us to our fate,
and has seen fit to publish the no.
tice in what we believe to be the
spiciest paper west of the Missouri
river. 1t was not necessary that
the notice should be published.
We were ready at any time to adj
nit service, provided the plaintiff
would serve it while we were sober.
We cannot agree to remain sober
after 10 o'clock A. NJ. in order to
give people chance to serve no.
ices on us. But, in this case,
plaintiff knew the value of adver-
Using, and she selected a paper
hat goes to the better classes all
over the Union. When our wife
loes anything she does it right.
For ten years our wife and we
have trudged along together. 1t
las been record of errors and fail
1res on our part; record of heroic
devotion and forbearance on the
part of our wife. 1t is over now,
md with nothing to remember that
s not soaked full Of bitterness and
up in red flannel reporse,
We 60 forth to-day and herald our
shame by publishing to the world
he fact that, as husband, we are a
failure, while as a red
wed and runs soaked ruin and all
around drunkard, we are tropical
riumph. We print this without
,gotism, and we point to it abso-
utely without vain glory.
"Ah, why were we made the Gus
odian of this fatal gift, while 9th
RS we're denied !! 1t was about the
,nly talent we had, but we have not
wrapped it in a napkin. Some
lines we have put cold, wet towel
n IT, but we have never hidden it
,nder abushel. We have put it
,ut at 8 per cent. month, and it
,as grown to be a thirst that is
oon,;pO all the wav from