New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-12-26
THE TILR or THE DAY.

The Southern Pacific Railroad Company, to snow
its interest in the development of the citrus fruit
growing industry Of California, has offered premium
Of $3.50 year to DO awarded to the exhibitor at each
citrus fair who has madc tho greatest progress In
growing this fruit
Portland Chinaman wrote the following note TO
n lady who wanted to engage q cook: MIS- Lady
Friend she: You when at there told to me want
to boy cooking had have a boy Is good man ana
honest he neat and clean ana cong nicely tha1
this ono best one you have before like no does
| wish could take him to stay with you and Leong
Git recommended to him come to she"-tSan Fran
cisco Chronicle
Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox seems to have the call
on all the other poets 1t is reported that recently
a symTathct.c admirer actually wept over her. This
is certainly very effective way Of showing appre-
citation, but it would be 81 ghty embarrassing If all
the aimrols Of an author to rot together and
weep over him.
Engl sh as She Is Spoke. -Customer-I want some
gum Arabic.
Clerk-Ycs, Miss How much gum Arabic do you
wish
| Customer-About an ounce VIII be enough, but
] want the best gum Arabic, mind.
| Clerk ito another cerll-where did you put the
gum Ara bic
now.
| Proprieor-I don't see why you boys can't keep the
gum Ar-a-bc 10 one place.-tOmaha World.
| young woman was recently appointed teacher Of
q country school In tn State, at salary Of 50 q
week. sho went to board at the house Of the trustee
who had fixed her salary, and was astounded to DO
told by him that he would have to charge her "a q
week for board.
Congressman on the stump for clection-Wbat
tho Nation needs, follow citizens is reform. with hon
est men in Office.
Voice in tho crowd-All right: Wen elect another
man TO take your place.
And they did.-tWashington Critic.
The way Chicago bcgpar unwittingIy acfnowl-
edged the half dollar Phil Armour gave HIN: ''Many
thanks TO you, sir. II 1t wasn't for such bloody
hearted pirates as Armour ! wouldn't have had to
ask for th g. I'm hoping to live long enough to fix
him. Bless you, sir: you are an angel-tWaterbury
American.
"old Tom Bcnton's nephew" seems to be still there
Some of the San Francisco papers complain that
the character of San Francisco has been hurt in the
East by newspaper consTirators."
Tho style now.-Omaha Dame-No. have desire
to spend any time on farm, IN summer.
Iowa Miss-Don you like the country
"Oh. yes, but ! have visited relatives on farms
several times and they always had such drcadfuly
bad buttcr-sent all their good butter TO market.
you know"
"oh that's all changed now"
at Isl"
"Ycs indeed We eat our best butter now our selves
and buy oieo to send to marhet."-iomaha World
| A Western preacher tho other day said In a sor-
mon that baseball is played by base men. That is
all he knows about tho noble game There must be
eatchers and pitchers and shortstops ~ we'll rs
baseInen In q game of baseball
knew her TAI ing.-litte Nell-If YOU don't stop
beng such n naughty boy Santa Claus won't bring
| you anything, now m.nd
Little Jack-santa Claus won't know whether I've
ocen naughty or not, so there smarty.
| why won't he"
"Iiecauso mother Ii the only one in family
that KNOWS"
"Wel sho'll tell him."
| mo sho won't, she always says she's gon' to
tell pop Oh me. but she never does."-lOmaha World
| Tho Rev. Moses Knockout IL the name Of q cham.
pion evangelist In Pennsylvania.
mince pie Is given every, Thanksgiving day To
each OIL tho Prisoners IN tho Kenneboc Me- tan BY