St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-10-10
AUTUMNTIDE STORIES,
Which Are Told About Several Well
Known Citizens of the City
Of Minneapolis.
The Trouble a Man Had in Getting
His Sunday Globe and
Other Tales.
How an Alderman Escorted His
Friend Honae--Phil Herzog'S
Little Experience.

There is an alderman in this city who i:
prominent member of the Union league
While there he talks loudly about the neces
| Sity of purity in politics. On the outside,
| however, he huStles for the clerical vote
with the persstency of bear after honey,
and one of his methods for gaining popular
favor is to ''set 'em up for the boys" The
other night he was out with friend. The
alderman was the drunkest of the two. but
was possessed of the deluSon that he was
sober and the other fellow drunk. About
the unholy hour of 2 a. ~, they rounded
up and started for home. Brown, yOush
too strunk 10 walk, less take hacksh. y
hiccOughed the alderman. Arriving at the
friends home, the alderman supported his
intoxicated friend, and the pair went up the
stairs with more difficulty than they would
usually experience in mounting toboggan
slide in sober moments. Then the alder
man rang the door bell. Presently figure
attired in night-gown cautiously opened
the door, Madame, herish your hus-
band, " said the alderman as he gravely
lifted his plug hat and made profound
bow. The effort was too much. The hat
fell to the floor, and the alderman kept it
company by falling fiat on his face. He
couldn't get up, and this friend and his wife
lifted him from his recumbent position and
carried him to the hack.
~
Jones, is young married man who came
to Minneapolis from Detroit, Mich, about
two years ago. He located in the Eighth
ward and built pretty cottage. Jones,
who desires TO live correctly. subscribed for
the GLOBE and took great deal of comfort
in peruSing its columns when he awakened
in the morning. Last Sunday morning
James arose for the purpose of performing
that sacred and pleasant duty Of starting
the kitchen fire. This done, he started to
return to bed. Suddenly he happened to
think that it was about time for the paper
to arrive. He went into the front room,
pulled the curtains apart and looked out.
Yes, there was the paper on the steps of
the porch. Jones was attired simply in a
night shirt and pair of carpet slippers.
Should he 60 upstairs and get his trousers?
No. 1t was early and no one would pro-
badly see him, so he softly opened the hall
door and looked up and down the street.
No one was coming. He jumped quickly
out on the porch and made clutch for the
paper. He got it and started to return.
Horrors! the wind had blown the door shut
and it was provided with spring lock. He
was clearly locked out of his own house in
the day time, clad only in his night. shirt
and slippers. No sooner had the awful
ness of the situation dawned upon
Jones' mind than he sprang for the door
bell and worked it as though it was pump
handle. Mrs. Jones was very sound
sleeper, and no one was more fully aware
of this fact than her now frantic spouse,
who had simply exhausted himself in his
efforts to wake her. As the next resort
Jones paid an excursion to the rear of the
house, kicked and pounded at the back
door, tried to raise the windows, but all in
vain, SO ne returned again to the front
porch. The situation at this point became
slightly aggravated by the approach of two
ladies, who came up the street at brisk
walk. Poor Jones! He worked the dOOr-bell
like mad. and Toared like contesting del
egation at Republican county convention.
Still all this clatter seemingly had no effect
on Mrs. Jones, who was sleeping the good
sleep of the just in the chamber above.
Jones at this point saw that the ladies had
approached within ''seeing" distance, and
perceived with horror that they were be-
ginning to notice him. He did not know
whether to crawl under the porch at the
dernier resort or net, but finally decided to
Just then the front door opened, and DOOR
Jones, half dead with shame and fright,
fell into the arms of Mrs. Jones. The
proyerbial straw was never graSped by a
drowning man with more precision than
that exercised by Jones as he jumped across
the Threshold and felt that he was savedl
saved!!
80
Of ioI- di0oD 1or1f1
Herzog had quite an experience that he
has never entirely recovered from. A few
winters ago he was counting handsome
girl who is now the wife of a well-knOwn
lawyer. One night they were going to the
opera with friends. All wore diamonds
but Phil, who called attention to the fact
by deprecating remark about his poverty
Never mind, Phil, none of them shall
outshihe you." said the girls mother as she
handed him a magnificent diamond cluster,
composed of half dozen of brilliant stones.
Phil gave the pin commanding position
on his shirt front and went to the opera.
After returning he became so interested in
his attentions to the young lady that he for
got to leave the pin. When he got to his
room, however, he found it. and admir-
ingly examined it. ''Pll bet it's worth
So. 000." he said. He must be careful and
not lose it, Perhaps some one might break
into the house and steal it. ':Aha. l have
it," he triumphantly remarked as he stepped
over to chair and pinned the
cluster on the inside of a vest
that hung thereon. The next day
Herzog went to st. Paul and never thought
about the pin until night. Then he looked
at the vest-it was gone! What was he
going to do? The pin was an old heirloom,
worth at least So. 000-what would his
prospective mother-in-law say? Well, the
only thing to do was to stand her off, and
he accordingly took occasion to carelesSly
remark that evening to the old lady that he
had left the pin in st. Paul with friend
for safe keeping. When he got home he
told his room mate of his loss, and the two
began systematic search of the room for
the missing Kohinoor. In vain they
looked. and after three days of worry
Herzog brought himself face to face with
the necessity that he must tell the girls
mother he had lost the pin. Of course she
would think he was either an internal
idiot or despicable thief. Still, anything
would be better than this consuming
anxiety. just as he was starting to go on
his sorry mission his roommate came hold
ing IN his hand the lost diamong pin. 'Its
found" was all he could say,
while Herzog almost cried for Joy.
He decided to postpone his call in order
that he might appropriately celebrate the
recovery. The next day he put the pin Oh
his tie, and started for the home of his
beloved congratulating himself with every
step upon his good fortune. On his way he
thought I'D just like to known how much
this pin would have cost me if didn't get
get it back-Ill bet it would be SO, 600 al
least" With this thought he entered a
jewelry store, and asked for what the pir
could be duplicated. The jeweler look al
it with his magnifying glass, smiled coldly,
and said slowly: Il think l am safe in
saying we can furnish you another pin like
this for Six d-o-lIa-r-s. It's only paste. >
Poor Herzog. lie picked up the pin as