The Washington critic., 1886-07-16

1t was cold water l was wanting to get
into, not hot water.--Colonel Glider, Arctic
Explorer.
ENDIcoTT TO MANNING:
Aw, Manning, don't you know, OIL fel',
think would resign
II Congress were to disapprove
Apolicy OF mine.
MANNING TO ESDIcoTT:
You mean about that surplus cash9
/ wouldn't II could
Resign my place. 1t would not do
Aparticle Of good.
ENDIcoTT:
Aw, well, me boy, you may be right;
1t might be wrong to go
But right or wrong, would resign
It's English, don't you know.
Congress is bound not to introduce the
grip railroad as one Of the fractions Of the
National Capital.
Congressman Breckenridge of Arkansas
and Stuart Of Texas are going on starring
tour through the Southwestern provinces
as the Siamese twins when Congress ad-
iourns.
Senator Edmunds and Senator Riddle
berger had II nip and tuck in the Senate
yesterday. Each appeared to have tuck u
nip.
The President is referred to in the Senate
discussion Of the River aud Harbor bill as
"Danger elsewhere" A veto is harder to
I,a bar In los,
If anybody attempts to pull down the
Senate Committee on Commerce, shoot him
on the spot.-[Conger.
The River aud Harbor bill is old enough
to pass the Senate-it has reached the sewer
age.
1t is pleasant to note that the Senators
who sleep in the cloak rooms during bust
ness hours have adopted THE CRITICS sug-
gestion and pulled down the blinds; i. G..
put up screens; but this is not enough; they
will have to quit snoring, or plug up the
corridor windows with non-conductors.
The Members OF Congress have resolved
themselves into nights Of labor assoca-
tion-working till II p m. This shows the
wisdom Of saving their strength until the
last. If they had worked hard early in the
session and finished everything then, don't
you see, they wouldn't be able to endure
twelve hours work per day, now. A Con-
gressman's head is very, very long.
Ron Rntlar aavs ha Inasn1f uapt tp onYn N
to Congress because Congressman have to
work too hard. Ben. must be tremen-
dously lazy man.
The Congressional Record will have to
have an editor appointed to protect 1t
against its contributors.
How far of in time the battle of Gettys-
burg is can hardly be realized by those who
lived through those exciting days. At the
time 1t was fought, however, the Presi-
dents wife was yet unborn .--[Philadelphia
Ledger.
Congressman Scott Of Pennsylvania has
gone to Long Branch disgusted with Con
gress, and the breezes that come up from
Cliff Cottage bring this salty speoch 81
was willing to- help with the work during a
seasonable time, but / now won't 90 neal
Washington to suffer from the temperature
raging there" Congress can hang on
awhile longer without Mr.. Scott, we reckon,
but If he feels that he must return, we
would advise him to throw aside his ocean
surf gauze and wear an overcoat, for over
coat weather is the sbrand we've been using
all summer in Washington.
An anaconda weighing twenty-six pounds
has been stolen from Coney Island mu-
scum and Chicago man is suspected Of
having 1t in his boots.
'One OF the sweetest things in my trous
seau,n thoughtfully continued Nine. Nils.
son, "is the dress in which am to be pre-
sented to the Spanish court."-[New York
| Herald.
Another OF the sweetest things In her
trousseau, is the old girl herself.
|