West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-07-09
BASEBALL INTRICACIEs.
An Incident Which Proves That They VIII
Never BE Understood by Ladies'

An Incident Which Proves That They VIII
Never BE Understood by Ladies.
My first serious mistake lay in taking
party of ladies TO the ball park. /
asked them if they understood the
game. They replied that they did in a
general way. / never knew before
what dense Ignorance is covered up by
that vague and unsatisfactory express
sion. We arrived at the park without
exciting incident, save the temporary
excitement of leaving Il bill of large de-
nomination at the gate. purchased
score cards all around, and explained
briefly and courteouslv the intents
thereof. The ladies said ooh" and
Tor about ten seconds were deeply in
terested. Then they fell TO looking
around to see who were there and what
they had on. Every few seconds q
score card would slide out of lady's
lap. This kept me busy and served to
relieve the mOnotony of waiting. The
Detroits were praclicing i'm the field
and Hanlon was knocking flies into the
suburbs. Presently he hit terrific ball
over the center field fence. Singularly
enough ono of the ladies saw him per
form the feat.
why doesn't he rum?" she cried, ex-
citedly.
Why doesn't who run?' / asked, in
establishment
THAT little fellow with the club. s"
she said.
! explained that it was probably be-
cause the club overweighed him This
seemed to satisfy her, and she resumed
her inspection OF the spectators. |
discovered that the ladies were very
much Interested in the uniforms. and /
observed with alarm a tendency TO get
the clubs mixed. 1t took some min
utes to straiehtcn the matter satisfac-
torily, and then the umpire called time.
The umpire is pretty busy man,
but he absolutely rcvclcd in idleness
That day as compared with my labors.
The second ball pitched was foul.
which whiZZcd into the grand stand and
came near diminishing my responsible
tiles bY one. This necessitated n
change of base, and we moved around
IN am agile manner, my perturbation
being increased by volley of sugpes.
Ion- from the rear Of down i'm front. g"
again fairly seated. one OF the ladies'
discovered that she had forgotten her
parasoi, so back / travelled. secured IL.
returned picked up score card or two
and sank into my seat in profuse per-
piration. Then questioning began.
why do they keep taking off and
putting ON those masks?'
'N hlch is the pitcher?'
What makes them slide along on
5hcir faccs?'
Which side is at the bat2'
"W hat is % fOul?'
"I-u over ihc fence out?"
These que tons ] answered wish be-
coming forutudc and patience. but
when Che youngest aud dante.t lady
said DO was 20 perfect shame 90 dirty
their uniform by rolling along the
ground gave her up 70. e bad lob
AZ the end Of the first inning ! took
~ score cards with some apprchcn-
sion, which proved 10 boz well based
found that three Of the ladies had
kept The Kansas City score on the
Detroit idc, and one Of them had cred
l'ol the home club with four runs and
some sixteen base hits. STRAIGHT
oucd out tbc score with some difficulty
and was rewarded by the remark Of
The owner ~ the most complicated
system oil scoring that she "wouldn {
have missed seeing the game for anv
Ihng hat was whore wc differed,
Dui tcnt J mako if 70 point To- be al
WAYS open Oh reasonable propositions.
-h1ns1F ltiy Tlm.s