davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
BRIGHT BITS.

KATE FIELD asks: How many women
marry good manY One at time, Kate,
excepti in Utah.-Ne,o Haoen Ne,0s.
KATE FIELD says Puget Sound looks st
distance exactly like a hand reaching out for
something. Its name ought to be changed TO
Blalne.-Ne1o Hdcen Ne90s.
If Heury George had ever been compelled
to get his living by growing potatoes on a
piece of scrub oak land, his new land theory
would never have been invented .-Phtldde5-
Dhtd Times.
FUSS husband will create
II dinners cold cause he's too late;
But hell get just as mad and surly
III he should come an hour too early.
lid Bits.
HUsBAND-Madam. you have had no less
than $500 for pin money during the year. 1
can't stand it. Here's the account, and fig
Indignant Wife-But you Philadelphia
CAL.
OMAHA GIRL-Pa, there is talk OF forming
an archery club in our set. May join?
Omaha Pal saw girls archery club prac-
ticing the other day and I am afraid can't
afford to bear my share of the expense
why bow and arrows don't cost much"
mo; but it takes 30 much lumber to build
mark. "-On,dhG World.
A FRIEND in Media verv seedy looking
person called on Mr.. Theodore Roosevelt
few days after election. What do you want
sirp' said the defeated candidate grufiy,
y. nothing much, except / was thinking
that IL you needed witnesses 10 swear that the
use OF your name as a candidate in the New
YORK CITY election was unauthorized, might
be OF some use to you. That might put your
defeat in tolerable good shape."- TecaS
Stfttn0s.
BINKs is not very appreci alive of the pres
emit style OF room decoration, and Mrs. Binks
is constantly grieved by his indifference to
her efforts to be aesthetic. The other day,
however, the good lady came home from the
rehearsal to ind the four legs of every chair
In her parlor ornamented with a bow of satin
ribbon. Blnks stood by looking as pleased as
basket of chips. There, dear" he said, II
saw you had only ribbon enough to fasten to
the top of that rocker, and so / brought a
whole piece along and made things look all
nice and regular. "-Boston Herald.
PROGRESSIVE CHRIsTIANITY.-"Ah." said
the superintendent, land here is Tommy
Goodboy's missionary offering, S27 30, That
will make some little heather hearts glad
Now tell us how you got this money, Tommy"
Eyes, SIR" said Tommy. speaking up loud
and distinctly like the good boy tha at he was
part OF 1t pa won on change, some Of 1t ma
won on crazy quilt raffie, some of it sister
Laura won at progressive euchre, two dollars
brother Bill won on the horse race. twenty
cents got for marbles won play.n' keeps.
and the rest i won in . grab bag and q prize
cake at the church fair"
After brief consultation the brethren de-
clded that they would send the money on to
the heather, but wouldn't tell them how it was
raked N. There are some things in modern
Christianity it isn't best even for the heather
to Know.-BroOklyn Edgle.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
From the Boston GLOBE.

ETOUt tNc DHtJrf UtOOcs
fell upon my Bonded knees
And asked il she would wed;
She was plain, prosaic lass,
And this, alas, she said:
"Of course you think me beautiful,
Although my hair is red;
But can you, while well-bred lac
Supply me well with bread
"I have STIRRING appetite,
Aud dearly love to eat;
To meet my aspirations you
Must furnish me with meat
listened with astonishment
To hear her answer so;
To interlard her talk with things
Which into larder go.
And. modestly, admitted
Had, to that lucid hour,
In seeking flowers of Paradise,
Forgotten earthly flour.
She somewhat sighed, she rather blushed,
She kinder thought awhile;
And then remark ed that, though beguiled,
must be without guile.
Then, sadly, said was too good,
Too wholly pure for her
To conquer life's vicissitude
We might not quite concur.
Some sweeter, slighter girl, she thought,
To feasos of love inclined,
Would. with consuming appetite,
A quick consumption find.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
He Knew Them Durn Things"
F~a,., az D;asna. De-.

From the Pioneer Press.
The annunciator OF Randolph street hotel
jingled excitedly about 10 O'clock last We'd
nesday night The alarm came from room
on the hfth floor, which was occupied by a
Nebraska farmer. When one of the sleepy
bell boys raped at the door few minutes
later he found the rural guest croHching in
one corner Of the room with his eyes liked on
blue bottle which as suspended from q nail
near the front window.
Gimme 'nuther ROOM" yelled the granger
when he beheld the boy at the door.
whats the matter with the room you've
gotT' inquired the drowsy boy.
''Gosh durn it! do you felers think I'm go
ing ter sleep in a room with one of those dy-
where's the bombH" asked the boy, taking
a step backward.
''See it hangln' agin' the window over
there?" chartered the farmer. pointing to the
green bottle.
why, that's fire grenade" chuckled the
boy.
"A what?" asked the granger, coming out.
"A fire grenade" repeated the bow. "All
you have to do is TO throw it, and
es, and get bowed to kingdom come"
broke In the guest. with wild stare. II
know what them durn things are. Now, take
1t out OF the room"
Cant do that" replied the boy; lit would
be against the rules of The house."
wei, then, gimme 'nuther room."
Cant do that either; the house is full"
well, III be burned IL I'll go to bed with
that thing hangIn' in the room, and Won can
tell the keeper of this ERE tavern that | said
So"
The boy was here summoned to a room on
the next floor, and when he returned, twenty
minutes later, q hoarse snore from the dark
ened romb in which the boom hung told him
that the granger was asleep,
When the chambermaid entered the Me-
braska mans room late the next morning she
found the grenade resting on the corroded
bottom OF the pitcher, with about nine inches
of water looking down upon it. Attached to
the handle of the pitcher was this card:
s....'''.....'.. ...'..... ......... ........
SlLAS CLIFFORD.
OAKDALE,
Let her be, stranger, Neb,
she's loaded.
-. ,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
Statesmen Uuder the R.zor.

from the Cleveland Leader.
dropped into BARRIERS chair last night
for shave. The young cOlored man whc
handled the razor was character. He fold
me that he shaved many of the prominenI
men of the country. said he
speaker Carlisle is hard man 10 shave
He has an angular, rough bearded face, He
drops into the chair and does not saw a word
until he gets out of IL, except when he il
afraid of being cut. He is mighty close as "a
money matters, ana he loves the hIcre. We
charge here l5c. III Carlisle cannot make the
change by sc. he will say: Just rememher
that, and l " i'll take it OF of my NEXT shave
II we happen to forget it he does not, and be
will say: You know gave YOU Sc. too much
last time, and so this dime will make MA
square
this summer. He Ia a light-hsired, fuil-faced
fellow, with a soft beard. IIe has nm easv
face to shave, and is a pleasant man In the
BARRIERS chair. He talks. but ne does nor
wa tie words on the weather. He chooses hi
subjects. and IL "a liberal converser. Harrison
Garrett, brother IF Bob, spent the summer
at Deer PARK, where / ran the barber sbon.
shaved Garrett. He is a stin young man, who
clothes himself in mantle OF dignity and
never gets IL on"
"Did you ever shave Presidentgn / in
CURED.
mo. But used to go over Hendricks face
every day or two. Vice President Hendricks
was a very hard man To keep clean. IL took
long time, too, 10 shave him, but he was
such good tAlker and told so many stories
that never noticed how The time was pass
ing. The last time he was here Postmaster
General Villas came with MIN. ana be KEPT
telling ant cdotes TO him between the sweeps
OF the razor. ! have shaved Ian Voorhe a.
too. ~ timer Voorhees, has one OF those red
and gray coarse boards, which Ia very hard 10
cut. lie IA very particular A. 10 his persona
appearance. and considers himself a dbndy.
GOV. Curtin has a national reputation a. be-
Ing the wort man In this country 10 shave.
His beard ls very hard. ann IL runs all irts ~
ways. The hairs overlap each other, aud
have no regularity Whatever. All the BARRIERS
about Washington know him, aud some Of
them viii maze M excuse 10 get out Of the
shop when be comes IN Bancroft comes here
"a get he hair col, but he Oteuer has a. come
a. he house for this purpOee. The old man
likes 10 talk while We are dressing hla head.
but you have 60 Work very carefully with
him lie u getting Old. aud h liable to be out
Oi humOT at timFs"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The Hayne Literary Circle. OF Augusta,
Ca. which was organized in octber, 1888,
bas adopted resolutions providing for the
erection OF a monument TO Paul Hamil-
Ton Hayne, and the removal OF the
remains OF Richard Henry Wilde
with a view OF also placing a moDu.
ment over them. The Augusta City
Council has agreed 10 provide the burial
lot for the remains Of Mr.. Wide. Tho
commune appointed by the Hayne Liter.
AIRY Circle IL now engaged 10 raisin a
monument fuDa and viii De glad 70 ~.
ceigo contributions, The object ~ q
meriierions one, ane contributions ought
N b. forwarded freely.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
Dissatisfied COIOred Voters.

The colored voters of New York are, 1t
is alleged, greatly dissatisfied with the
treatment they are receiving from the Re-
publican party in that city. They claim
that they always vote the Republican
ticket-and there are 10000 of them
in the city-and have never yet received
any of the spoils. They are never per-
mitted to handle any of the campaign
FUNDS, and no colored man has ever been
given an office. 1t is not to be wondered
at. therefore, that they are sore, and are
looking about for some way to get even.
as it were, with their white Repu blican
bosses. At the late municipal election
all OF them, it is claimed, supported the
Republican candidate, Roosevelt, while a.
great many rich white Republicans voted
for Mr.. Hewitt. Such fidelity they ar
sert deserves some sort OF recognition.
The colored voters have their remedy in
their own hands. Let them abandon the
ungrateful party they helped to keep in
power so long. The Republican leaders
are always pointing to the South as the
section where the negro voters are ILL
treated, but II they were to look about
them at home little more closely thew
would find that the colored men fare bet
ter at the South than at the North.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
INDEX qONEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

SPECIAL NoTIcEs-As TO Bills Against
british Steamships Alvo, Viola, lNia and
Dotterel; AS to Crew OF Norwegian Bark
Cato; State and County Taxes, 1885.
ADJUSTMENTS - We, Us & Co., at the
Theatre.
NEW SToRE-W. G. Cooper.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMENTs-He
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
Bor Sale; Lost; Miscellaneous.
WOOD STOVES, ETC.-Freeman & Oliver.
srLvERwARE, ETC-S. P. Hamilton.
NoTICE-Southern Bank of the State Of
Georgia.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
why They Are silent.

from the Nashville american (Dem.l
Mr.. BlaIne's Republican admirers are
usually quick enough to pounce upon anyone
who sayeth aught against the character of
their idol. But they MAINTAIN deep and
PAINFUL silence over MIR. Edmunds' letter.
winch, IN its quiet way. is more eloquent Of
scorn and detestatioH OF Blaine than any
philpplc that Carl Schurz or any other polit
MIR. Blaine's friend, is the impoteut silence of
men who dare not speak. They fear 10 bring
the characters of Blaine and Edmunds in
contrast before the public eye.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The question as TO what constitutes a
lawful fence has many phases, and has
never yet been definitely settled. 1t is
generally agreed that such fence ought
TO be ''horse high, bull strong and pig
tight" but Vermont has law restrict
ing fences to six feet In height, when they
are so situated as to shut out the view
from a neighbours house.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

It's the fad with great men not to regis
ter at the hotels when they visit New
York. Neither the President, Mr.. Blaine
nor Governor Hill registered when they
went TO the city TO attend Arthur's fune.
raj. r. B. Hayes registered in his well
known full, round hand, but then Il. b.
hayes is by no means a great man.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

1t is said that Senator Sewell, of New
Jersey, will not give up the hope of BEN &
reelected, as he thinks there is a chance
for him to capture the Democratic Knight
OF Labor Legislator. There is little
ground to justify his hope.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The Philadelphia Times says Jefferson
Davis on Sunday helped to dedicate a
church. This is mucn better work fer
him than discussing war questions" And
yet the Times must admit that when Mr..
Davis does discuss a war question he
does il remarkably well.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

Detroit is competing for the prize as the
meanest city in the country. 1t requires
street car conductors and drivers to take
out licenses and pay for them. The step
will probably be to require its people to
pay SO much per thousand feet for the air
they breathe.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
Not that Kind of a "Crat.D

from the So. Louis Republican, (Den.)
The rnmor from Indiana that Mr.. William
II. English will be a candidate for the Senate
IS the leader of revolt against the admin
lstration" has all the ements of the lmpro6
aoIe. Mr.. English is not that kind of Dem
ocrat. and we only take notice of the rumor
10 suggest that if Indiana has Democrats of
kind to ''lead revolt against the admins
traEon,' the hose should be turned on them.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

Cholera appears to be increasing at
Buenos Ayres, and is spreading to the
surrounding provinces. Quarantine reg.
ulations have been established and every
effort doubtless will be made to check its
progress. The fact that the dreaded dis
ease has obtained Judgment In South
America is no reasonable cause for
alarm in this country, as the communica-
ton between Buonos Ayres and ports OF
tho United states Ia not as close as IL is
with European countries where the
cholera has prevailed for the last two or
three years. No precautions should be
neglected, however, TO prevent the dis
ease from securing footbold in this
country.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

IL does run in families they say. Rev.
Sam Jones' brother, Joe, is preaching up
in North Georgia in dialect that will al
most take the bark off hickory tree. 1t
Is stated that he calls things by their cor
rect names right out in meeting.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

Judge "Pig Iron" Kelley's visit to the
South is said to be without political sig
nifcance. He may incidentally ascertain,
however, how it came about that the
alleged protection districts OF this section
all elected tariff reform Congr essmen.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
American wac Farmers, work

From the Boston Record tIrd)
Our esteemed contemporary, the Journal,
seiFes with avidity the testimony OF Mr..
Schoenhot, American Consul at Tunstal. that
Tue earnings OF labor in American cotton mills
are on an average, 50 per cent. higher than
aney are IN the cotton mills OF Great Britain.
rms Is no news. A man Is worth more IN this
country than anywhere else in Tue world, and
he produces more here.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

A demand of the future will probably
be the holding of the divorce courts in
secret session. Litigants of the upper
crust do not like to have their family
skeletons aired in public, although their
neighbors actually enjoy the thing.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

1t would seem that the Executive Com
mIttee of the American Protective Tariff
League is wasting money Offering prizes
for the best essays, unless they should get
a real good one on "The value of votes
and how to buV themo
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

They are boring for natural gas away
out in Western Missouri. If the pros
pectors could only manage to strike an
average Missouri politician success
would crown their efforts.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The Chattanooga Times seems to have
determined TO become the conservator OF
the public morals and manners. By the
way, who was it said something about
satan reproving sin
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

Now that the Chinese actually have an
experimental line of railroad they ought
TO take lessons in financiering; at least
they ought to learn the Importance OF
watering the stock when it is thirsty.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
Somo of the Disadvantages OF Canada
to Americans.

FROM bte CbtcuI0 HerdG0.
Charles shaw, manager OF the Toronto
Grant Opera House, has been in the city this
week settling some Detroit scores with John
Mcconnell, OF tho Columbia Theatre. Shaw
was relating to Mcconnell how he Jared when
he entered into the paradise OF American
fugitive bankers. When | got as far as
Windsor, opposite Detroit" said shaw. II
went to a saloon for drink. had been told
that whisky was sc. a drink all over Canada,
but didn't seek it for that reason. However,
/ went up to the bar, called for drink and
threw down quarter OF dollar. The bar
keeper returned l0c.
-. How is it, asked, that you charge me
l5c?'
"'You are an Americ an the bsrkeeper re-
turned. We always charge Americans &c.
natives, &c.
II said nothing, but pursued my way to
Toronto. The morning of my arrival there
went into barber shop for shave. II had
made up my mind before not to open my
mouth. but that internal Canadian barber
succeeded in getting me to talk, and when
left his chair he gave me a l5c. check.
How Is thsP asked OF the boss You
adver Use in your window a shave for l0c.'
"'lo GU are an American, from the States,
ne said. We have two sets of cheek. One
for Americans and one for Canadians. You
must not think strange OF it, he continued,
a man who can rob bank Of $50, 900 shouldn't
kick about nickel on a shave
~ protested that had not robbed bank or
anybody else but he said, as he went back to
his chair: oh, that's all right; they all say
that And had to live in Toronto several
weeks before l got the benefit Of Canadian
pricesn
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The gilded youth of the City of Mexico
must be very seductive or the pulque they
brew down there must be very PREACHER
Gus. The American statesmen of the
future should be fore warned.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The lively sympathy of several minor
branches of the Knights or Labor for the
condemned anarchists of Chicago does
not tend to enlarge the influence and USE
fitness of the order.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

1t is stated that Senator Warner Miller,
of New York, does not look at all well.
1t is to be feared that his hotel has been
surreptitiously feeding him on oleomar.
garine. 1t might be best for him to carry
one Of his own Jersey COWS with him
wherever he goes.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

1t is SAID that the worst thing about
Mexican pulque is that it has tendency
70 make the incest kind Of gentlemen
prevaricate.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER IS. 1856.
Rsaistsrea az ne Post Office .. Saoannah.

The MORNING NEWS is published daily, In
.eluding Sunday. 1t is served 10 subscribers
"a the c,tu Sy newsdealers and carriers, on
their own account, at 70 cents week, 81 0l
. month, SIS 90 for ak months and $40 60 for
cpe year.
The MORNING NEWS, bv mail, including
Sunday, ore month, 81 90; six mouths, IS co;
one year, SO 90.
The MORNING NEWS, By mail, six times a
week without Sunday issue, six months. 81 90;
one year, IS 90.
Sunday NEWS, bv mail, one year, 81 90.
WEEKLY NEWS one year, 81 IS. In clubs OF
FIVE, one year, IS 90.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit
by postal order or note, check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
senders.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
sMoRNING NEWS, Savannah, Ga."
AID ertising rates made known on appiica-
ton
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

Ex-Gov. English, of Indiana, denies the
report that he is to be an anti-adminis-
tion candidate for Senator from Indiana.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26
CURRENT COMMENT.
An IMAGINARY Boom.

from the Ntt1 70 L So" (Iad.l
Don't worry about Gov. Hill. He has
never been so near to the heart of the uni
versal Democracy as he is at this hour. His
boom VIII be heard Of when the right time
comes
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

An Italian poet 10 suing bic critics for
Islander. some ~ our alleged American
poets may have 20 resort 10 somalhinR "
ACE kind ~ bolster 40 ihsir regulations.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

bHrHHfH fsflling real coffee just smell 0f
thAi, and gou % order ION II a.
srQrer fn0t rec0EnlfinE tha aroma 80 uess
~ 40 fnaf psc0gliaf seent Vut a ~ ~ H.
me.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

Carter Harrison is evidently man OF
infinite gall. AT a meeting of the Nine
teenth Century Club in New York the
other night be spoke on the subject of
municipal government. lie said Chicago
was well governed, especially under the
present Mayor. Tho present Mayor ~
Chicago il Carter Harrison. or course
the speaker meant 70 be witty. but n IL
not believed that he appreciated The fact
that the assertion sounded like sarcasm.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

An anxious New York tailor who sent bill
after bill to the home and Office OF one OF his
backward customers finally hit upon the de-
vice of leaving his dun at the Manhattan
Club, where he heard the debtor was mem,
Der. The clubs clerk returned the bill
marked, "Mr. Blank is dead" On Nov. IN
came the bill again. The clerk, with a grim
humor, returned it once again, writing on It's
face, This man is still dead"
The device of bill collectors of aiming their
duns at the club address of behindhand Gus
toners 10 becoming quite the thing, and is
more effective than the average ordinary
methods. The average citizen does not like
to see Trademarks card en- the corner OF an
envelope in his letter box at the club all IN
plain sight OF his fellows.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-26

The patriotic and long suffering people
oi this country are glad N bear tbsi toe
President hss determined ~ cut bic mos.
sage short There doesn't seem ~ be any
good reason WY a rsai lYe President
should convert BE messsrs into mere
eompsndiutn of lhe Department rep9fis.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-03-18
THE RICHMOND Observation-Disclosures. MARCH 49, 1886

necessity Of this suit became impeya-
tive. Three persons were murdered
Mr.. Weldon, Mrs. McClurg (his sister,
and her daughter, Mrs. Hjte. If
Weldon died first his estate would de-
scend to Mrs. McClurg II she died
next, her own and her inherited
property would 20 to her daughter,
Mrs. Hite, and from her to her nearest
Of kin on her fathers side but If Mrs.
McClurg and her daughter died before
Weldon, the heirs Of the latter would
inherit the property. The case de-
manded the close attention Of the court
for full week, and ended by the jury
finding that Weldon died first and Mrs.
Hite last, hence she inherited her
mothers property.