The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1886-12-10
The Young Husbands First Brrand and
the Wife's First Biscuit.


Mr.. Youngmau, of ST. Anthony Hill,
married very pretty and sweet little
lady few days ago, and he furnished
a house TO establish her in as soon as
the nupiials we're completed. He was
congratulating himself on having
bought everything that would be need
ed in the proper running OF well-or-
ganized household, aud was not little
surprised on the second morning after
his wedding by his wife handing him
card on which was written a list OF ar
ticles which she requested him to bring
home when he came from work. The
list ran as follows: Stove polish, hard
soap, oatmeal, curtain fixtures, picture
hooks and cord, coal sieve, rolling pin,
dust pan, broom, stove brush, paper
eight-ounce tacks.
Mr.. Youngman reads over the list
and tries to remember that he bought
all of these things when he furnished
the house, but he cant.
"Hadu't you better go down with
me and order them yourself, darling 7"
he says.
"No, no, DEAR" she replies. "You
can get them well enough"
"But | might not get just what you
want,' he suggests.
"Oh, you goose" she says smilingly,
throwing her arms round his neck and
dropping kiss on his lips, "you know
I'd be satisfied with anything you'd
buy me-"
II wouldn't be single again for any
thing" mused Mr. Youngman, as he
tripped lightly down stairs.
That noon Mr.. Youngman brought
home the desired articles and laid them
on the table. Mrs. Youugman looked
over the articles and said:
"Oh! Will, what'd you get this
kind of stove polish for ? 1t isn't half
so good as the other, aud this soap,
why, mother never would have that
brand of soap in the house. How
much'd you pay for this oatmeal ~
"Twenty five cents
"Twenty. i've cents Why, you can
get splendid oatmeal at Schwab's for
fifteen cents package"
''Tbose curtain fixtures are an inch
too wide for the windows. | wonder
you didn't know that"
ooh, you got green picture cord,
didn't you? Well, won't use it. |
always want red picture cord.
-"That coal sieve is too coarse It'll
let half the good coal through it. Why
didn't you think of that n
THAT rolling pin is altogether too
heavy l wanted light one.
81 was in hopes that you'd get
bronze dustpan, instead Of this yellow
one"
"That broom is too heavy. A lighter
one would have done Just as well, and
it wouldn't have cost so much"
"The bristles in that stove brush are
too stiff. | wanted softer one"
"Oh, Will, why didn't you get gall
vanized tacks; those iron ones rust out
so quick. They amt good at ALL
Mr.. Youngman waits until his
young wife gets through, and, wonder.
ing what has brought such change
over her since morning, puts his arms
around her and says:
"Wh,t is the matter with my little
wife,"
Her dainty head falls on his shoul-
der, and between the sobs that shake
her slight frame she says:
"Wi-Will, l fe-feel so b-a-ad. I
wanted to, to make some bi-bi-biscuit
this noon a-a-and got the wa-wa-water
and sa-a-alt and ye-ye-yeast, but there's
something mi-mi-missing and / can't
think wha-wha what it is.
Mr.. YouDgman smiled quietly, and,
clasping his young wife TO his watch
pocket, he placed his lips to her ear
and whispered, "Flour. ."-St. Paul
Globe.