The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-08
WOULDN'T PLAY.
Why the Grizzled Man from the Hills
Refused to Participate in Theatrical
Performance.

hefuseu TO participate in a Theatrical
Performance.
A dramatic society in Little Rock de-
cided to introduce into one of their
plays rough character, whose bust
ness it should be to terrorize every
thing in sight. The manager of the
dramatic society said that he knew the
very man who could make the char
acter brilliant success. He had his
eye on lank and grizzled man who
had come down from the hills, and,
when the manager called at a wagon
yard and introduced himself and stated
his business, the character, who said
that his name was Luke Crenshaw, re-
plied
"Well, Cap'n, I reckon you'll have
ter 'scuse me. I never was no hand at
that sorter biz'ness."
"Oh, but you can soon learn it. All
we want of yours to be perfectly natur-
al-want you to come out dressed Just
as you are.
81 couldn't come no other way for
these here is all the clothes I've got.
What will | have ter do?'' se..I
''Well, you see, there'll be party of
young. ladies and gentlemen at little
summer hotel. The company will be
sitting in front of the house, when you
come up. You'll take q seat a short
distance away, under tree. .. Pretty
soon you'll haul out a bottle and take
a di.ink."
"Dnnk NV whut?n
"Oh, whisky, brandy or whatever it
may be-
''S'poze yer let it be Johnny red
eye"
IAN right, wen say then that it's
Johnny red-eye. Yorl take a drink or
two and then address yourself to the
company. The ladies. and gentlemen
arise and are in Che act of leaving the
place when you compel them to sit
down. Then you take two or three
more drinks and"
'Look a here, what rs the size Nv The
bottle?"
"a pint bottle will be large enough
"No, it won't. A pint wouldn last
me nigh that long"
II am glad to see that you want to
make it appear natural. You may take
a quart bottle" @H
''Who pays fur the whiskyP' i3
''Why, my friend, the bottle will not
really contain whisky" 1854 3l u
Goodbye" h@ ri
Hold on" t~ $3.50 aa
az said goodbye
"Say, in order to secure your SER
vices, we will let you have q pint of
whisky" a.ts:s .s-
'Make it a quart" 6f!
~ am afraid yom might not be able
to play your part. " ye
"You don't know me. Make it a
quart or goodbye
Every well, then, we'll make it a
quart" a. Al
I'm yer man. What else must
dop" ,l
"Well, while you are talking to the
ladies and gentlemen a tax assessor
comes up.' s ..,.
go ahead, fur yer air gittin' inter-
estin'."
''You turn from the ladies and gen.
tlcmen, suffering them to depart, and
address the tax assessor. You charge
him with having assessed you too high,
and he calls you a liar Then you
spring back, whip out pistol and
| shoot the ASSESSOR
"Now yer air talltin'''
Shoot the assessor, killing him in
stantly."
That's fust rate. Say, I've got the
best pistol in the land-fres every clat-
ter I've been wantin' ter kill tax
| assessor sense ken reckolleck. The
law won't poster me for KILN him,
will itp"
why, my dear sir, you are not to
kin him in earnest
"Oh, don't poster yerse'f. 1t won't
be nothin but fun ter me. I'll put it
to him between the eyes. "
"You don't understand. You are to
use a blank cartridge"
"An' not hurt himP"
"Of course not
Goodbye"
"Say, think over-'' oE Ri
Goodbye. "-Arknnsa,o Traveller, +