The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1886-11-06
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Chunks sf Wisdom from Brother
Gardnsr-Our Coast DeHsnsss


had passed the elder punched the
judge ON the nose and received
crack on the jaw in return. Brother
Gardner came in as they were pulled
apart, but he seemed to take ne notice
of the affair, and nothing Was said
until the meeting opened. Then he
locked around the hall and observed:
"If Elder Juneberry Davis AN
Judge Holdback Johnson am in de
hall to night should like to spoke
few remarks To en-
Both gentlemen walked rward to
the platform with anxiety depicted
on their faces, anu the President con-
tinued:
Elder Davis, when did dat gla-
cial epoch take placel y
/ dunno, SIR"
Judge Hold pack, what do you
know bout de drift periodf
reckon dar was good deal o.
driitin' aroun, sah.'
Yes, | s'posc dar was. Didn't
happen to drift any 'taters an meat
your way, did itin
No. sab.
Elder Davis, did dat glacial epoch
pay up any of your back rent or get
new SHOES lur ae cliillernfn
= No, sah."
/" Dats .nuif; you kin boat sot
do yn. While blame two old mem
bets like YOU for soilln bad exam
pie beio de club, | must at dc same
time acknowledge dat II am only de
weakness of human natur'. Moas' oi
Us would suoncr tisht over dc aIge OF
dc word dan 10 resent straight in
suit. We would argy longer 10 con
vince man about dc size uf Noah S
ark ,lan To convert hin o our feligun
OF de present Jay. te iet our chi en-
20 bar'iut while Wa hant fur evidence
To- covict de Gauis of shlltiessuess
We spend hours asserun AN denyin
DAT de moon an inhabited, while lif-
teen minutes hsed to fix de bottom
hinge on de front gait am luoked
upon as time irown away. While we
sOt an wonder why SUdom an Go
morrah didn't behave eirselyes au'
escape destruck shun, de ole woman
scrapes de Dottom of de -four bar AN
de liah goes out Ia de kitchen stove.
Jist what aige dc cr1.bar belong 10,
or who invented it, or why IL VAS in
vented, anl queshuns which needn't
trouble ANY mem Der of dis club. DE
iack dat de crOwDar am heah wild Us
should satisfy all. Let Us now pur-
cced u attack de business which has
called us together
MaydoWn Beebe then offered the
following preamble aud resolutions:
Whereas, Medical science has dem
onstrated de fack dat de habit of
drinkin' ice water has II tendency to
bring ON heart disease, lumbago, liver
complaint, insomnia aud Mr., Brights
disease, now, daTfore,
Resolved, Dat dis Lime Kiln Club
not only abstains from ice water
doorin dc comm Summer, but it ad-
vises de Guild people Of dis kentry to
do de same thing.
Professor Ambidexter Smith, Givea-
dam Jones, Samuel shin and Sir John
Skinner opposed the resolution, while
Elder Toots, Whalebone Howker,
Caesar Johnson and others favored it,
and upon vote being taken tie was
the result. Brother Gardner said he
did not care to take the responsibility
of decision on his shoulders, and
suggested rs "A compromise that sun
down Davis be submitted to a series
of experiments from May to October
to determine the matter. The suSges-
ton was accepted and the resolution
Withdrawn.
Colonel Erastus White, of the Com
mittse on Military Affairs, reported
that his committee had carefully in
yestigated the subject of our coast
Jefenses, as required by late resolu-
tion, and had reached the following
conclusion.
First-In case of war the ensmys
fleet could easily lombard any city
ON the coast. We would therefore
suggest that all these cities be moved
back fourteen miles.
Second The enemy would have no
trouble in landing troops on our
shores. The only trouble would be
in getting any of them off alive again
The only suggestion VIC have to otter