St. Paul daily globe., 1886-06-20
MEN OF MINNEAPOLIS.
Epigrammatic Comments Of a Peculiarly
Pleasant, Personal and Pungent
Character.
Written Briefly as Bee, With a Little
Honey in One End and Sting in
the Other.
Characters PIcasingIy and Presump-
tuously Prominent--Reputa
and Otherwise.
Smiles of Summer Sunshine and Sar-
castle Billiards. of Wintry Quip
and Satire.

CdSLkC ollZZdTdS Ol w 1heAJ SNAP
and Satire.
G. NJ Loring is good and expects to die
young. He says he will not live to see the
new postofiice completed.
w. B. Wheeler proposes to carry label on
his back hereafter. He met Chauncey
Wheeler the other day and said: "a man
just called me Cbauncey and I'm going to
kill him.. ''Too late" said Chauncey. ''Ive
just finished killing him.
The report that the Minneapolis Press club
has declined to play ball thus far because R..
II. Shadrick was printed with the team has
not been confirmed officially.
1t is said an acute observer can go to the
base ball park in the middle Of game and
tell whether Minneapolis is ahead by ono
glance at Billy Foley's teeth.
William S. King has been very quiet OF late.
Several editions of the Tribune nave been
printed without mention of his name.
Will E. Haskell is engaged in editing his
great journal from the stern sheets OF his
luxurious Racine steam launch, while plow-
ing the crystal waves of Minnetonka at the
speed of twelve knots per hour.
few more offices in Hennepin county
would make A. G. tAustin, or ''unmake him
quite.''
Adolph Biermann is very much exercised
over the anti-Doran movement. Doran
worked hard for Biermann, and the collector
wildly about Minneapolis last week working
up plo-Doran movement, preparing COM
munications setting forth Doran's undying
friendship for the Scandinavians.
After Gerhard Gjertsen'S melancholy fall
ure to run his nationality in Republican pol
itics last spring, it is somewhat amusing to
observe his fine italian hand in Democratic
circles just at present.
If Building Inspector Pardee only had the
nerve to enforce his own convictions what a
splendid officer he would be.
George G.. Jacoby is the Scheherazade of
Minneapolis as far as romances are con-
cerned. His new work, ga Million and One
Nights is anxiously awaited by an apprecia-
tive public.
That venerable and interesting ruin, Judge
n. T. Hauser, has lost his prestige as an un-
falling newspaper correspondent. Dr. Martha
G. Ripley is in the lead, and promises to
distance the judge.
Aid. Dwyer wants it distinctly understood
he has sacrificed his own quiet enjoyment for
q game OF base ball to the wishes OF his con-
stituents.
The rumor that c. Whiskers Ryder is soon
tol lead blushing bride to the altar, may be
warranted by the facts, though it scarcely
seems probable Whiskers could lead anything.
j. Newton Mind. as manager of the pano-
rama. will enjoy the benefit of knowing how
to work the newspapers for all they are worth.
DR.. o. J. Evans may have medicine at his
fingers ends and may be perfect solon in
the legislature, but as toastmaster he is a
dismal failure.
The ghost of Orrin V. Tousley looms UP
where post-prandial orations are heard. The
ex-superintendent is greater at feast than
at fray.
The mayor, the latter part of the week, did
not deny his German ancestry.
Fred Smith denies that he received the
Charlie Johnson letter on the postoffice war.
Lew Harrison has grown weary of an Irish
shooting name and hereafter when he goes
out with the gun club, will try German one.
Schnapps has been suggested.
Judge Rand has bought a big central fire
revolver and is looking for the man who &C
cused him Of supporting Judge Wilson of
Winona for governor.
Ed Johnson is wondering whether the forth
coming meeting of the board Of education
will affect the snug sinecure he holds.
A. II. Ankeny, the new member, is the only
one of the board Of education who may be
said to be truly happy.
Aid. Lawrence may nightly be seen nosing
about the banks of Calhoun. AS president of
the law and order league he is smelling out
blind pigs.
Harvey P. Wobinson, in his new cricket
suit, is the envy of the girls and the despisery
of the boys about the neighborhood Of Pleas
ant avenue and Thirty-third street.
Frank NimockS wants it understood that he
has left the journal. that he is not tall and
that he does not wear glasses.
Sam Hill says whatever part he may take
in the next campaign, he will not be found
arrayed against Hon. c. A. Pillsbury.
G. J. Brogdon of the Minneapolis postofice
is candid. II am very offensive partisan"
he says. He is also good fellow, if he don't
say it.
Col. Glenn thinks strongly Of becoming
chief of police in some small city. This state
of mind was brought about by being called on
by the Turner's to act in this capacity.
+I,o Mot;
Col. Hill will apply for permission to wear
white hats and linen pantaloons during the
heated term is denied.
The mail carriers think seriously of boy
cotting the firm of Segelbaum Bros. because
they are not allowed to ride up in the eleva-
tor when delivering mail. One of the clerks
of the store is authority for the statement
that an edict has gone forth that no one
except purchasers shall ride in this same ele-
Vator.
Prof. Underwater is an imposing sight as
he mounts a table, clad in tight-fitting trous-
ers and a Seymour coat, and directs the
Turner's.
Detective Joe Lawrence is one Of the
shrewdest men on the force, and yet he can
appear about as green as Johnny Verdant
when occasion requires it.
DR.. S. S. Kelvington is thinking strongly Of
giving that little negro boy a chance to learn
the medical profession.
Prof o. V. Tousley is a fine speaker, but it
seems hardly right to hear him tell the same
stories that are told by President Northrup
Architect Kline thought he was right about
the Exposition building being unsafe, but
numbers of people think he is crank on the
subject.
John K. Mortland mourns the marriage of
G. S. Doolittle. 81 have bunked with him.
feasted with him and gone broke with him.
he lamented land who will care for johnnie
now?"
TN, IL.
Minneapolis" is going to hatch out lot Of
game chickens by a new incubating process
of his own invention.
1t is said Lieut.-Col. Perry Harrison carried
to Europe a string of broken hearts long
enough to reach across the Atlantic. 1t is
also said he carried away one whole heart,
but left his own in exchange.
What has become of Hon. G.. A. Pillsbury?
Has he gone to Europe, or is he still in the
city?
]. Key Hodgson says he didn't suppose
everybody was coming to the Exposition
loaded or he would have had the floors
stronger in the first place.
Tom Moore of the West hotel, when asked
If he likes electric fluid, invariably feels OF
his nose, then shakes his head.
The horse that J. N. Prester rode in the
procession Thursday night is laid up with
spinal complaint.
When Judge Babcock heard that he had
got $12, 900 verdict in a damage suit Friday
he burst into tears aud walled: ''Why didn't
1 ask for S5C ,000?"
A. f. Scott intends to hunt voters on a BIZ
cycle during the fall campaign.
Col. T. Percy Weadon says that the Even
ing Directory isn't fit paper for his daughter
to read.
George F. Baxter, the deputy sheriff, is con-
sidered by many to be the handsomest man
in Minneapolis, barring Elder Steweart.
Col. John T. West doesn't like the dlsposi-
ton he notices in certain quarters to dis
criminate against the colored people.
G. A. Dickey of the county clerks staff is
just as cute as he can be.
Sam Hoerline says that moonlight on the
lake suits him all right.
w. ]. Allen will be looming up for congress
one of these days if his popularity keeps on
increasing.
Tom Cantwell has charge Of the Mime
tonka Navigation company's boats, and this
prevents the necessity of having the passen-
gers wear life preservers