The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-01-22

hAve the drug though 70 should cause ~
eternal damnation Of the whole household
hea-tless and ovepbsaring, and Mandy
PANTY and unreasonable women, ~
married; married perhaps to good men
These are the women who build the Low
club-houses, where the husbands and som
1 60 because they can't stand It at home. o.
this sea Of matrimony, where 20 many hav,
wrecked, am I not right In advising Divine
pilotage:
Especially il devout duplication needed
because OF the fact that society IL 10 full Of
artificialities that men are deceived ~ d
whom they are marrying, and NO one but
the Lord knows. After the dressmaker
and the milliner, and the jeweler, and the
hair adjuster, and the dancing -master, aud
the cosmetic art, have completed their
work, how is an unsophisticated man to
decipher the physiological hieroglyphics,
and to make accurate Judgment Of who il
il to whom he offers hand and heart. That
is what makes SO many recreant husbands.
They make an honorable marriage con-
tract, but the goods delivered are so differ.
emit from the sample by which they bar
gained. They were simply swindled, and
they backed out. They mistook Jezebel
for Longfellow's Evangelue, and Lucretia
BOrgia for Martha Washington.
Aye; as the Indian chief boasts of the
scalps he has taken, so there are in society
to-day many coquettes who boast of the
masculine hearts they have captured.
And these women, though they may
live amid richest upholstery, are not
SO honorable as the cyprians Of
the street, for these advertise their in
fanny, while the former profess heaven
while they mean hell. There is so much
counterfeit womanhood abroad it is no
wonder that some can not tell the genuine
coin from the base. Do you not realize
you need Divine guidance when remind
you that mistake is possible in this inn
portant affair, and, IL made, is irrs-
vOcable.
There is i'm all the world soma one who
was made for you, as certainly as Eve was
made for Adam. All sorts of mistakes oc.
cur because Eve was made out of a rib
from Adams side, Nobody knows which
of his ribs was taken for the nucleus. II
you depend entirely upon yourself in the
selection of a wife. there are twenty three
possibilities to one that you will select the
wrong rib. By the fate of Ahab, whose
wife induced him to steal: by the fate of
Macbeth, whose wife pushed him into
massacre; by the fate of James Ferguson,
the philosopher, whose wife entered the
room while he was lecturing and willfully
upset his astronomical apparatus, SO that
he turned to the audience and said: "La-
dies and gentlemen, have the misfortune
to be married to this woman" by the
fate of Bulwer, the novelist, whose wife's
temper was SO incompatible that he fur
nished her q beautiful house near London
and withdrew from her company, leaving
her with the one dozen dogs whom she en-
tertained as pets; by the fate of john Mil
ton, who married a termagant after he was
blind, and when some one called her q rose
the poet said: 81 am no judge of colors,
but it may be SO, for I feel the thorns
daily" by the fate of an Englishman,
whose wife was so determined to dance
on his grave that he was buried in the sea;
by the fate of village minister whom
knew, whose wife threw
cup of hot tea across the table because they
differed in sentiment-by all these scenes
of disquietude and domestic calamity, we
implore you to be cautious and prayerful
before you enter upon the connubial state,
which decides whether q man shall have
two heavens or two hells, heaven here
and a heaven forever, or hell now and q
hell hereafter.
By the bliss IT Pliny, whose wife, when
her husband was pleading in court, had
coming and going to inform
her what impression he was making; by
the joy Of Grotius, whose wife delivered
him from prison under the pretense OF hav-
to his health, she sending out her husband
in one of the bookcases; by the
good fortune of Roland, in Louis time,
whose wife translated and composed for
her husband, while Secretary Of the Inte-
heroic, wonderful Mime. Ro-
land; by the happiness of many q man
who has made intelligent choice Of one ca.
pable Of being prime counselor and COM
panon in brightness and in grief-pray to
Almighty God, morning, noon and night,
that at the right time and in the right way
he will send you q good, honest, loving,
wife; or II she is not sent to
y OuS euog rOu may Uc S0At W ucIs
At this point let me warn you not to let
q question of this Importance be settled by
the celebrated matchmakers in almost ev.
cry community. Depend upon your own
iud gment divinely illumined. These
brok ers in matrimony are ever planning
how they can unite impecunious innocence
to an heiress, or oelibate woman to million
ARE or marquis, and that in many cases
makes life an unhappiness. How can any
human being, who knows neither Of the
two parties as God knows them, and who
is ignorant Of the future, give such direc-
lion as you require at such q crisis. Take
the advice of the earthly matchmaker in
stead OF the Divine guidance, and you may
some day be led to use the words Of Solo
mon, whose experience in home life was
As melancholy as it was multitudinous.
One day his palace, with its great wide
rooms and great wide doors and great
wide hall, was too small for him and the
loud tongue Of woman belaboring him
about some of his neglects, and he retreat
ed to the houset0p to get relief from the
ingual bombardment. And while there he
saw poor man on one corner of the roof
with q mattress for his only furniture, and
The open sky his only covering. And Sol
,mon envies him and cries out: at is bet |
Ter to dwell in the corner Of the housetop
than with q brawling woman in o wide |
house."
And one day during the rainy season
the water leaked through the roof Of the |
palace and began to drop in q pail or
pan set there to catch it. At one side |
of him all day long the water went |
1rop. drop, drop, while on the other side |
! female companion quarreling about this |
and quarreling about that, the acrimon-
GUS and petulant words falling on his ear |
IN ceaseless pelting-drop, drop, drop, and |