Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-28
BRIGHT BITS.

A PATENT MEDICINE has been invented to
prevent man from lecturing Poet Dis
patch.
THE President is fishing, and the Demo-
cratic party is cutting bait.-PeOrin Tran
scrtDt.
The latest French fashion has reached Bull
garia. The Prince has been escorted to the
frontier.-Pftts6wr0 Chronicle.
SOME men are so mighty penurious that
they Keep everything they get hold of-except
the ten commandments.-01 Oav Bhssdrd,
IN England the population doubles in fifty
years The American cucumber evidently
has not found its way over there yet YO1,kers
Statesman.
but Herr Schmock, what puts 1t in mind to
get2"
Herr Schmock-"Would then little one
lake Wnen Il Tor the same money large hat
can haveP"-Ftte0ende Byatter. ..
MODERN CHnDREN.-Little girl to her
friend; Elsa, what are you doing with the
book ON the False Education of Our Chill
dren'2 | hope you are not reading it?" Elsa:
20 no; merely found it in nam as room,
and took 1t along to lock it up so that mamma
may not read such an injurious book."-Flte-
gesade BLatter.
CIRcUMsTANTIAL EvIDENCE.-The body Of
ar unknown man was found In the rear of a
Long Branch hotel at an early hour last Sun
day morning. The unfortunate stranger was
well dressed. He had been shot two or three
times. his neck was broken. 80 was his back,
ana his features showed that he had been
cheked to death. The Coroner was summoned,
but upon discovering copies of How the old
horse won the bet, christmas In the quar-
ters" "Curfew must not RUG to- night" and
"How he saved st. MichaePs,n upon the body
he decided that it was not necessary to hold
an inquest, and ordered the remains Gre
mated. He used to throw them into the sea,
but the boarders complained that sometimes
they came to life again.-Burdette.
THE minister's wife sat on the front porch
mending the clothes Of one OF her numerou s
progeny. A neighbor passing that wav,
stopped in for a friendly chat. A large work
basket half fall OF buttons sat on the floor of
the porch. After various remarks Of a gos-
sipy nature the visitor said:
= GU seem to be well supplied with buttons,
Mrs. Goodman"
"Yes, very well. indeed"
my gracious! II there amt two OF the same
buttons that my husband had on his last win
ter snitl I'd know 'em anywhere
"Indeedp said the minister's wife calmly:
I'm surprised to hear II as oil these buttons
were found in the contribution box. thought
might as well put them to some use, 80
thouRht-what must you goe Well be sure
and call again soon "-Aerchdnt 7raoeler.
"I'M going to quit smoking cigarettes" said
young man, who has led more than one ger
man. ut isn't because it's vile habit that
IS going to carry me down to an early grave,
or anything of that sort. One placed me, or
rather young lady, in very embarrassing
position. There is a certain charming young
lady on st. Anthony Hill whom should like
very much to make my wife, and know she
feels as do. But am not yet able to sup
port wife, 80 have never said a word to the
young lady's parents. Well, the other evening
| she and took stroll. 1t was about half past
when we returned TO the house, so did not
go In. We Stood chatting few moments, and
lighted cigarette. When she went in to the
| house /, OF course, kissed her good might
Wen. without giving it a thought, she went
In. babe her mother good night and kissed her
| also. The old lady Immediately detected the
| odor Of the cigarette on her daughters lips.
had either to acknowledge that l kissed
her or that she smoked cigarette. When the
young lady tod me about 1t had not the
courage to ask her what course she chose,
Now you know why cigarettes and Will be
strangers in the future. y Toledo Blade,