Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1886-09-24

Downs is mp again.

a long memory generally goes with a
short conscience.
1t makes us think there is nothing in a
name, when we see II Hem taking to water
So
a race for the citizens coup would be
most appropriately competed for by
schooners.
Man wants but little here below, but
Massachusetts wants that little Long.
Hon 5. ;. Cox has been visiting the
grave of Hannibal mt Prnkipos He has
been commissioned 10y the democratic adj
mini7tration to look up the subject of
| epitaphs.
We called the attention Of orr foreman
to the Office towel, the other day, and sug
gested the propriety Of a fresh one. He
objected, on the ground that the old one
wasn't worn out yet
The fact that Mr.. and Mrs Hem have
no children renders it rather iuAppropri-
ate for the Galatea to carry "A spanller
! out in Illinois they don't call cider hard
until it can be chopped up into blocks and
carried in he flask pocket
"Our club is in Il flourishins condition."
| ItIIdl Nt't Il Correspondent. I'iloc UOI
come This way with it.
We are glad to know that somebody has
discovered II use for babies 1t is said
that if there is baby in the room at night
the mosquitoes will not annoy adult per
sons.
a new singer by the name of Timber
CHER is heralded. lie has a mtey voice
nNE Eara ,vrI,i,,,- NJ NIn+,,,-,,, tg.,,,
the orators who used to adorn the United
States Scnate'' They are fishing, Mr..
Watter-on Don't be too impatient.
GLASGOW has presented a valuable UNI
brcllt to Queen Victoria. Wales will
probably take 1t out on one Of his sprees
ami lose it.
1t is said that General Butler remem-
bcrs everything. so do most widows.
Dsgusted poet whose ms. has been re-
jeCted: Il don't believe there is single
spark of literary fire in this whole estab-
liahueut."
% itor, gently; "You err, my young
friend. That blaze, when you now see
llickerins upon the ioinglass of yon stove,
is produced by burning manuscripts
Citizen, to Politician with gun in his
hand Going cunning to-day ?"
Politician "No, contound it The Ga
zcuc published my picture this morning,
and I'm after the artist"
a young man from Boston way writes
US To ask if campers ever use milk-weed
TO season their coffee? 1t is fortunate for
that young man that he lives in a CITY
halowed with memories of John l.. Sui
llvan.
Base minion - exclaims a writer. Now
we sumhit that this is scandlalous and
uncalled-for We use minion ourselves,
and consider it a very nice kind of type.
outing says that Thomas Stevens, who
Is circum- bicycling the globe, has at last
struck good road, We hope it didn't
hurt him.
An Atchinson, Kansas, man has been
fined $40 for stealing an umbrella. We
are inclined to think that, if the millen-
mum ever comes, it will come around by
the way of Kansas
Hem should put up or shut up.-Boston
UCrdid.
>, Dynamite is simply bomb Unable
Boston Post.
Royalty has delicate way of receiving
UdrcH Nous.
Good people are always to be found in
stories" as Fogg remarked when he
moved into hotel fat.-BOSton Trans
script.
When Professor John l.. Sullivan goes
sailing his place is invariably upon the
spar deck. -NClC York Journal.
The complaint is made that in many
eastern rivers during the long drought the
fish got so unaccustomed to water that
when the rains came they were drowned
--litU CdlitOTliu.
Yes" said the chairman, sadly. "our
temperance meeting last night would
nave been more successful if the lecturer
hadn't been so absent minded" "What
uld he DO ~ He tried to blow the foam
from glass of water.-N. Y. sun.
Proof-positive, Paying Teller-'I don't
Know that you're the man whose name is
ON this check. You'll have to be identi-
leu before ! can give you the money!
Pat-'Oi dentlfOyed, is it? Sure, thin,
cast yer oye on this bit of fotygraf an
vi see IT'S meself entOirely.-J,tdOc.
One of the funniest incidents | have
seen lately occurred on Wisconsin street
IL lew days ago. Two ladies were passing
each other when the tip of the parasol
carried py one OF them caught in the gilt
terlng fringe which adorned the parasol of
the other The sudden deadlock brought
they stood for more than Il minute, glar-
ING at one another. They finally jerked
Inc parasols apart and with fierce scowls
passed on.-.NiiUduhCe Evening ViScOn-
sin.
A down town druggist has parrot
Which ne has taught to say what a pretty
glrl :! whenever woman, young or old,
enters his store, and they do say that a
poor, weak man can hardly get into the
store TO Duy cigar on fine afternoon
PhtlddClphid can.
A certain type of wrter-not type
writer, but an authors contemptuously
dubbed hack, This is not so. II he were
hack, the editor would be hack driver.
And if the editor We're Il hack driver he
would, no doubt, be better off in this
worlds goods -PuCE.
Let us 90 out into the cleaning, dear"
remarked Frances to Grover, tue ii st
evening OF their arrival in the Adron-
ddcks. I'm 90 aud see if they have one,
frankie" replied Grover. Il don't be
lieye they have, though. You can't eX-
poet city conveniences in the wilderness,
you know. n-iittSburg ChrOHiciC