Smyrna times., 1886-11-03
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

A new political boom doesn't always
sweep clean.
Bicycle riders, though sometimes in
dolent, always toll and spin.
4 republic may be founded on virtue
but its cornerstone is an honest ballot.
The man who is continually cursing
himself growls at very silly individ-
nal
Religion in the heart does not re-
move the necessity of constant watch
fulness.
It is a great mistake to set up your
own standard Of right and wrong and
judge people accordingly.
Yonkers claim to have some blue
blOoded COWS. Perhaps that accounts
for tho appearance Of the milk.
Harrington Evans writes: "God
meets those who are in the way; Satan
meets those who are out of it,"
The fact that a man has not cut his
hair for ten or twelve years need not
necessarily imply that he is eccentric.
He may be bald
" Arthur" Yes, we should like to
have you write for our paper. Address
your letter to the business office, with
price, and it will be sent to you.
Francis Bacon, the English philoso-
pher, writes Some books are TO be
tasted, others to be swallowed, and
some few to be chewed and digested.
A Pittsburg firm is preparing to
manufacture window-glass by rolling
instead of blowing. But the agents
will do the usual amount of blowing in
order to sell it.
The typographical error is an un-
palatable chestnut. An Iowa editor
recently announced that certain ma
tron of his was thieving as usual" It
was written thriving.
An exchange prints poem entitled
What Poets Know" 1t is very short.
A poem on What some of them don't
know would crowd all the advertise
ments out Of the paper.
The truth can not be burned. bebead-
ed or crucifed. A lie on the throne is
a lie still; and the lie on the throne in
on the way to defeat, and truth in the
dungeon is on the way to victory.
United Liquor Men" says a news
paper headline. Liquor men do well
TO unite. United they stand al
though they wabble a good deal even
then. Divided they are apt to fall.
No more whiskies except for medi-
clnai, mechanical and scientific Dur-
poses are to be admitted to Alaska
through the custom house at Sitka
vines for sacremental purposes are to
be admitted.
a rapid penman can write thirty
words a minute" says an exchange.
This may be why so few reporters car
watches. All they have to do it is to
count the number of words thev have
written and tell what time it is.
Henry Ward Beecher, whose elo.
quence of speech is marked with sim
plicity and brevity, says: Never be
grandiloquent if you want to drive
home a truth. Don't whip with a
switch that has the leaves on. if Won
want to tingle.
The impossible Oscar Wilde declares
that he always writes his verses on an
empty stomach. That is Just the trou-
bic with them, and it fully explains
their bilious flavor. If Mr. Wilde
would only write them on a slab of ice
all would be forgiven.
Wouldn't you like to study the
beauties of shorthand ?" asked an en-
thasiastic Warburton avenue young
man OF his best girl as he produced 2
lew hlerogiyphics upon a sheet of pa
per. " I'd rather learn more of tbe
beauties Of long arm" came the pointed
reply.
The Standard of Buenos Ayres. South
American, publishes an account of
losses caused to stock owners bv a re-
cent drought in the upper country.
More than 2OOOO,0OO sheep have died
Oh a lung and throat disease formerlv
unknown on the plains, and the loss is
estimated at nearly $2O,OOO,OOO.