San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-20

IL is said that "pOliteneSS don't cost any
thing" Don't it? just let gentleman get
into "A street car when it is likely to be crowd
ed, and he'll find it will soon cost him his
seat.
The AbbOtS of old were ChurlSh and sad
And thought it sin to play,
But our Emma isn't girl of that kind,
Because she amt luilt that way
~
Years ago London was thrown into eX-
element by "Burking," which was intro
duced By the mcfarOuS Burke and Hare.
San Antonio don't object to it and il is now
Fashionable To be Burke-d by the comedian.
But this Burkng is the better kind. There's
more safety and fun in it.
The most enthusiastic vocalist in the
world aiorrS music, but they have decided
objection to Sing Sing.
Economy is defined by writer rs art of
drawing ill.," and it is commended. Many of
our b,Ilc5 app 'ars to be practicing this econ
omy in waist matters;
A Belknap boy walked out one night,
And with him walked lady,
They chattrd pleasantly and passed
Along a road that's shady.
son, dear! how dark, am so scared"
She cried then as a "SOundcr.'
Her fright was claimed when that brave boy
Threw ms strong am"r-ronnd her.
A few years ago Lady Colin Campbell
chriStnn 1t a vessel in the Birkrnhe ad docks.
The reporter, in his account of the affair,
wrote :"Thp vessel was ChriStrned by Lady
Colin Campbell. Her tonnage is 1910 tons
and she carries six guns II is not surprising
that divorce proceedings are now pending.
The ''nDv,r" Of the family may bea good
thing but shn is not likely to rise" early
or IN Ike good bread As a rule she will
let mother do that.
If Won want to buy a thermometer take
my advise and wit till nDrther is blowing.
They arc always lower at that time.
1t is a strange paradox that however hard
up a IN IN may be, the more likely is he to
cast 'dOwn.'
Anarchism has been traced to anti-delu-
Wan days, and there seems to be little queS-
ton that Noah was an-arkiSt."
*x*
Some say the cigarette kills off
The feeble and the youth;
Whilst Others may express doubt
This seems to be the truth.
If this be SO then one great hope,
In manly hearts is viewed
That given time, the cigarette
Will rid us of the dude.
~
Americans as republicans are naturally
anti-mOnarchial, but when engaged in poker
they are glad 10 see few kings around
their side of the table.
Its peculiar and yet its true. The more
tight money is the more likely fellow is.
to get broke" In fact man appears to be
SimDlE a string on monetary fiddle.
80
Twill you vote for me" said local candi-
date to an acquaintance. mo, sir, was the
reply, would rather vote for the devil than
you. ''Crrtainly," retOrted the candidate,
that's right, man ought to always support
his personal friends.
~
An anti-tObacco man delivered a fOrcible
lecture on the evils of smoking, and recon-
inv his hearers to pile up the narcotic weed,
and make holocaust of it. His words took
effect, and they burned the weed. They
did not pile it up, but they lit it. and stuck
one end in their mouths to insure perfect
combustion.
MOllieS not dead, and yet the beaux
Her absence sad depOre,
For since she married Willie White,
A-laSS she is no more.
~
In San Antonio the man who plays a
loan nallu gtntTalIy DtcOllleS HUSH,
although there may be considerably ''knav-
cry" about it.
~
When a man is favored by the arrival of
twins in the house, none need be startled. 1t
Is merely a cOincident.
So
1t is very rude to ask a jawsmith to shut
up, Now, in northern society, when they
want to stop any one talking, they politely
ask them to Ring off" Don't tell EphOnie
that, or she may get mad
*x*
As a rule, man does not care for solitude,
but for all that most men have no objection
to lOan-lness; indeed, many seek it.
~
"Oh why my love" said Jack to Sue,
Were you so cold last night,
You gave me not the parting kiss,
And seemed me to slight.
Forgive me Jack" the maid replied,
II know that | was wrong"
II didn't think you'd cOme-and there,
Those onions were 50 strong.
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