New-York tribune., 1886-01-20
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1HE IALh or IHE DAY


The Sacramento Record U1n thus delicately tips the
wink ndlscreet young IL the young gentle
man who is paying attentions to an H-st belle VIII Ia
the future the lamp aud the window the
shadow pictures Will uot attract such assembIayeS aS
nightly gather front OF this residence neither Will lie
furnish food for comment passengers In the street
cars"
sLED AND TOBOGGAN.
Goodbye to the sled and the rudefashionedj umper,
Ihe swift doub.e-ruaner that nies Ger tn9 Snr snow
Goodbye to the bob" with IT. bold belly Dulnper,
lac JOY OF the boys with their faces aglow'
Goodbye to the oldstya but fun making coastingI
Inc steel OF tie runners 10 covered with rust
The tongues VI the rldeIs. oft gwen TO Doasting,
Are coating Win age before turning to dust
Behold the toboggan. a new-anged notion.
board broad aud thn thai s turhsd up Al the enus'
And goes down a hill WITH aswlituess 0f motion
Winch naught but n ndsh ~ tie scenery lends
From sled to !o6o.g,n! sure retsosre:sOn- s
'Tis 5terthis cap OF mixed shame and oonfessiop'
columbus Dispatch.
was In freigh; depot In Baltimore the other day
whisksy. ASKED enpioye. where 10 all that whskey
going .c,
Thought they mad declared for prohibition down there
What are yon sending the sLul there Tor T.
Because the demand Is 80 great
How = chat e.
"Everybody ia town is spending nearly twenty FIVE
hours every day la trying " break tho law Wash
inEIOn Republic.
In the February Hapers Magazine there is fine en-
craving showing sarJy kentuckans hoeing indus
triousy among OF thrifty looking tobacco plants
as ever gaideued the OF blue grass planter The
picture is labelled, " The sweet Potato Field"
WHATS THE oDDsf
I'm not at all aristoerdtic;
The Upper Tens myth to me;
MY lack OF mention 10 elnphatlo
In " DOlngs OF society"
NJ dearest Trends a nand on inces
The groocTs wI.e exchanges mods
But what's the odds
My lover on the block adjacent,
Dspenses pills from SIX 10 eight
With looks and mind conplacent,
fear his earnings are not grest;
Indeed. have DARK suspicion
lie sits among tue gallery gods
To cut the nSure oi admissIoL;
But what's the odds
We t,ko in deepest OF con ntentment
A stroll sdOw the avenue;
We see without The least resentment
Tue spl, ndors OF the favored few.
We, IN our urn, hold rauk ani station;
Toilers with scrubOing-pas aud hods
Eye US with 40 anu admiration;
So what's the odds
I'm happy In a gown made over;
He's Ioy Ia "a suit worn rough;
Would not have "A grander lover;
lilo thinks his sweetneart tine enough.
We're iisnt Of heart with, witGoIt penny
Can bring greater boon 10 any
30 what's tue odds
i Emma A. opper In Boston Courier.
First Lieutenant s. Petit, Of the ls Infantry, has
beeu granted leave Of absence three months. to
coma" The Lieutenant will be uDe To return to the East
by way OF the Panama Canal. which Will doubtless be
dug by that time.
First Editor: II SEQ by your prospectus that your
PAPER Is TO have several taking features during the
second E1tor Yes SIR It Is our intention during the
present year to make Rome howl me'aphons"ily
f. f.? II noticed that your paper had ono very
taking feature daring tho past year
:. T. (snlpgl: We Halter ourselves that We get ont
"A fair "A e.
the taking feature you referred TO e -.-,--
y. b: Taking the items Of your contemporaries
The conversation closes abruptly. -lBoston Courier
An Ohio man claitus to have discovered perpetual
motion by means OF cenreless crank Well. WELL use
has been found Tor the crank at last.
from the society news 10 the Maltese papers
that In Malta nobody Is allowed to attend the opera
barefootod All opera goers mast at least wear pair
OF lislo thread socks without any patches When We
read OF such old world restriC tons cannot feel too
thankful that I'm the land Of the settn' sun,
where the eagle screams twice day and the whang-
doodle nourneth for her drstborn.
LOVERS INVITATION
o como to the South. love
o come there with me
Aud III hug you W warm yoa
Beside tho cold sea-
Well wander together
Through orange groves fair
Wnero the icicles gloam, love,
Like diamonds rare
And I'll lend you my duster
To wrap round your feet,
When sJ meath tho branches
The " frOzod" fruit 10 eat
The clerk OF the weather
Has made Jdur pas
But the Iro In hearts. love,
uo can't quencb, ira la!
-tBoston Budget
Visitor TO backwoods school teacher)-" How is your
school progressingf'
Teacher: Sorter slow at present. Nearly all the
boys air In the cotton patch Shoot Abe (turnng to
boy with whom he @as playing Inarbles; venture
r0dndance. Henry Thar, now, lot her stand TIL l
visitor During how many months OF the year do you
teauh g.
they keep comm keep er teachn. for can stand IL
as well ~ they can"
visitor As you say, your school Is rather OF
boys"
the light season, .or have HI oi time. It's your
shoot, Abe. ~ Arkansaw Traveller
|
ON THE ROAD TO OPULENCE.
The Baltimore Herald.
perkaps when Mr.. Lamar has rendered few de-
cislons which may fluctuations In telephone stocks
the thrifty Mr.. Pan-Electro Garland may DO able to
afonA tho luxury OF dr. ss-coaL
CRIME IN THE INTEREST OF RELIGION
From The baltimore Herald.
III IL be true reported at Washington, that Bibles
are being smugged mto the United states and largely