Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-11-20
HUMOR.
A BIER garden-the cemetery.
A SPIRIT medium-.a bunghole.

A SPIRIT medium-.a bunghole.
LOCOMOTIVES are all light headed.
ALWAYS ahead-a head, of course.
"ERRoP," said Goldsmith, as ever
laxative" But woman is not an error.
She is b essing. Courier.
IT is painful fact, but nevertheless
tits true, that little girls of to-day arc
allowed to know too much in regard to
dress. -PeckS Sam.
AN old lady, being late at church,
entered as the congregation was sing
from prayer. la" said she, curtsy
ing, don t get up on my count. -
Boston Irdceiier.
a SOUTHERN newspaper gives an ac-
count Of man who tried to hang him
self With towel and came down with
a crash. Such levity is ill-timed.-
Merchant Traceter
II ,R dainty boot, her dainty boot;
1t h Id fascinating foot,
A pre- ty foot; but, sad II,
II held an aching we'll.
An! Things ara never what they seem,
And life is n dslusve dream.
--BostGn CCuTjir.
LITTLE girl of our acquaintance is
often reprimandcd by her mother for
her habit of clipping words. Not long
ago, after such a lesson, fadie went to
Sunday school, and her teacher hid q
smile when she heard her read in the
Bible study, "Eewarc of the e|eucn OF
the harisees !"-Hd1pe,''s Boar.
FIRST TRANP-"I say, Bill, what is
communism Second Tramp -" I'll
explain it to you. / have got an empty
bottle and you have got dime. l let
you have the bottle. Iou buy dimes
worth of whisky and pat it in the bot
tie and | drink it out That's COM
munism. See ?"-Te.ras .Sutings.
MAuD-"Mr. Allround is sort OF
universal genius; isn't hep" Mabel
"Yes, lie is exceedingly clever" Maud
-"He is something of a lawyer and
profession" Mabel" Well, the law
yers call him a Il ican and the must
clans call him a lawyer. "-EamJier
How IEEEyEEENr the most revcrcnt
prayers of children sometimes seem.
Little Jack wanted a IT. cycle, and he
was taught to pray for what he wanted,
As he dropped on his knees by his little
bed lie added to his "Now l lay me-" ::
"Please, God. make papa buy me n
tricycle.. That's a dandy. "-Hartford
Pos.
Mrs. William, why is it
that Boston people are SO literary, so
refined, SO noble and so celebrated +?
Bagley jangril y)-They amt. Because
your fathers amt was born in Post n
you are a regular Hub wors!per.
Tell NE now, if Boston is 80 great
why don't they get upa 6 expos ton :?
Mrs. b. (tranquil!y)-perhaps, my dt ar,
there is nothing to expose.-Philmlel-
phia CAL.
THE polite child is the latest in the
Juvenile world. Sine was stroll ng
around the neighborhood On a tour OF
observation when she came acros, a
coiored man sitting on doorstep. She
stool with her finger i'll her mouth
looking at him. Finally she SAID /:
you're a colored man, amt you :"
"Yonre a very polite little girl" he
said. Eyes, I'm colored man" "Gb,
yes, I'm very polite. 1 call every Mig
ger l see q colored man. San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
he sat on bicycle as straight as an icicle. aud
she ON Il tricycle. rode b. his side.
He talked like jolly Top, and naught could his
folly stop,
With all kinds of lollipop enlivening the ride
At last incidentally, instructive than
mentally, he
Grew sentmentally saccharine sweet,
And he told with intensity of loves strong pro-
pensity, its
Force and immensity. its fervOr and heat
Just then o or some hummocks he sprawled out
kertummux,
And she thought what a lummux to tumble
Just them
But he climbed to his station, while she said
with elation,
"Henew your narration say it over again!"
-Tid-Biis.
TT is said that the authors would be
more widely read if they would only
write as they talk in ordinary CONVEX
sation. It is no doubt true that people
in writing are rather inclined to be ele-
giant Off we may use that favorite up
holstering and neck-tie department.
world instead of being natural. Let
q prize-tighter tell reporter that "he
didn't have no show, or he would have
damned the bloomin' snoot off of him, +"
and the interview in the paper will dis
close the fact that the pugil st said II
| was not fairly treated at the hands af
those present; their conduct was gross
in the extreme. Had ] received fair
play, [ am certain that the verdict