The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-04-25


more Michiganders in Utah7
AN OHIO editor asserts that Toled
opponent would lie the legs off an irol
pot.
The BOYCOTT is a relic of barbarism
Its use in free country is wholly indie
feasible.
Az ONO editor vaguely says an ex
change has enlarged "about umpty-
Jump inches"
AN OMAHA item blunderingly says
the marriage ceremony passed OF
without hitch"
CONGRESS Is dragging its work alonl
very slowly, and if the present method
OF deferring action on everything con
tinues there will be no interim between
the first and second sessions of the pres
ent body.
AN Iowa Judge has decided that 8
man is in duty bound to tell his wife
where he spends the evenings when be
is away from home. This decision is
all right to = certain extent, but sup
pose the man doesn't know7-Phila-
delphia Press.
AMERICAN EoUEDRIEs can do just as
good work in the manufacture of heavy
artillery as those Of any other nation.
As sample of this, last week Boston
firm turned out a breech- loading rified
cannon weighing fifty-four tons. and as
perfect cast Of it as could possibly be
desired.
THIS IS a gentle spring-time dun by
the Wood River Times: "This paper re-
quires money to pay its expenses, just
as an engine requires oil to run smooth
ly. The day Of deadheads and settle
ment after publication has passed. The
Times gives value received. Pay for its
space or you don't get it."
The following will illustrate the jour
nalistic amenities that obtain in Col
orado journalism: The Tribune-Repiib-
liean says: ''stapleton got his appoint
ment through Eastern influence" To
this the Neps responds: You are liar
and you know it." That would mean
fight in any ether country.
THEY ARE working the "Ostler Joe"
sensation everywhere for what It will
fetch. Dime museum beauties recite it,
newspapers are printing Joe's picture
taken from life by our artist on the
spot, and Scott Marble has written a
domestic drama, in four acts, founded
upon the poem, and called by its name.
Now TWO or three men who imagine
that they control the politics OF New
Hampshire, and who didn't receive the
Presidential recognition they looked for,
say that New Hampshire is eternally
lost to the Democrats. This is sad,
very sad. Singular, isn't it. that all
these political kickers are from States
that are hopelessly Republican?
AMONG THE advertisements in aGerman
paper appeared the following: The gen.
tleman who found a purse with money
in the Blumenstrassei is requested to for
ward it to the address of the loser, as
he is recognized" A few days after
ward the reply was inserted: THE
recognized gentleman who picked up a
purse in the Blumenstrssse requests the
loser to call at his house."
The WooD River Ne,rs-Ainer asks:
why don't Idaho Territory reach out
and grab up enough of her neighbor-
ing Territories to become . Stste7
There is Washington and Montana on
the north" This modest request is
answered by the Anaconda ReTiels as
follows: at was the whale that swal-
lowed Jonah, not Jonah the whale, and
under the same rule Idaho can neither
grab from Montana nor washington.
SENATOR HALE, strange as il may
seem. believes that if a convention were
held to-day Blaine would be nominated
bale halls from Maine. He has not
been West of the Ohio and heard the
Logan slogan, or he would not be so
reckless in his political prognostica-
tions. II nominated. Blaine would be
inevitably beaten. The people of the
country recognize and admire his abil-
ity, bnt they abhOr his corrupt meth
DDS.
Az ENGINE, said 10 be the smallest in
the world, has been made by a watch
maker now connected with a watch
manufacturing company. As described,
the engine is of the upright pattern,
and is made of steel and gold. 1t rests