Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1886-03-04
Wayback Cider.

An old farmer from Wayback Coun-
ty, who was brought before the court
for breaking the peace in pro-
hibtion county, told the following pa.
thetic story:
You see, Jedge, the whole trouble
come of my drinkin' some of that new
tangled temperance cider that / amt
used to, and which don't believe I'd
ever get used to afore the horn toots
for the general Judgment.
Il war born and bred on farm,
Jedge, an I've knowed apple Juice
sence / war knee-high to q grasshop-
per. I've tampered with cider when
it war sweet, an I've tampered with
1T when it war hard; I've drunk it Jest
from the press, an I've drunk it when
it carried good, stiff bead; I've laid
across barrel under the wagon-shed
and sucked it through rye straw
from bunghole when it war Jest gilt
edged, an I've swigged it when it
war es hard es an iron wedge
an sour 'nough to make man cross
eyed fur life; but Jedge, upon my sa-
cred word, l never had no cider to
unnerve me like that they sell in this
here town. Jedge, it can't be the ci-
der of long ago; it can't be the cider
of my boyhood's happy days.
You see, Jedge, L druv inter town
with load of sweet pertaters, an
after I'd sold out jest thought es they
don't sell anything stronger n cider in
this here temperance town I'd try
little of the good old drink of me-
youth. An, Jedge, tried it!
There war crowd of old friends
about the tavern au' | asked 'em up to
the apple juice. an then somebody
sed: Come up agin;' an then anoth-
er sed: Fill 'em up at my cxpense;' an
still another sed: Have one with me
afore you go;' an that's jest the way
it happened.
Somehow, ,Jedge,i it didn't taste like
the cider | war brought up on. but the
bottle had cider printed onto it in
gold letters, an they said it was cider,
an es long es the flavor of it war
agreeable | war'n't curious about it.
/ only took five drinks, Jcdge, only
five common tumblers full, an then 1
begun to feel sort of queer, Jedge.
IL never had no cider to make me
feel that way afore. war furst weak
es new born calf, an then | war es
strong es old Sampson afore his head
war shaved. l thought could lift the
tavern, an l think | tried to. My
minds not clear, Jedge, but they say
l made sort of hub-bub They say
throwed man over the bar an broke
a big lookin' glass with him, an scat
tered the whole congregation, an
went howlin' down the main street
askin' fur man of my strength, an
at last walked plumb through show
winder that they sed cost $3.50 Then
| war taken away to the prison cell.
disremcmber ali the little partic'l lars,
Jedge, but | suspect thet all they say
about me is too true. l think / war
drunk, Jedge-I am almost certain
sure | war drunk, an the newfangled
temperance cider they sell in this here
town is to blame fur it all.
81 kin drink almost anything with
impunerty, an n little sugar, Jedge,
an stand up under it es straight es the
steeple OF meetin'-house; kin drink
peach brandy, an apple-jack, an plain,
humble old corn juice half a day, with
the usuool intermissions, an still be q
peaceable, law -abidin' cit zen, but this
here temperance cider is too much fur
me. Jedgc, it's too much fur the old
man. Make it easy on me, fur I'm
done with temp rance drinks jest es
long es 1 live, Jedge."
And the Judge, who is very well ac-
quainted with the ways of town cider
In Wayback County, made it very easy
on the old man. Detroit Free Press.