Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1886-07-14
A Long Time Between Drinks.

A great many years ago the governor
of North Carolina received a friendly
visit from the governor of South Carroll
ma. After real North Carolina dinner
of bacon and yams, the two govern
ors lit pipes and sat in the shade of the
back veranda with demijohn of real
North Carolina corn whisky, copper
distilled, within easy reach. There is
nothing stuck up about those govern
ors," says North Carolina state hlsto-
rian, in the homeless but vigorous lam
guage of his section. There they sot
and smoked, and sot and smoked, every
once and awhile taking a mutual pull
at the demijohn with the aid of the
gourd, which they used us a democratic
goblet. The conversation between the
two governors was on the subject
of turpentine and rice, the staples
of their respective states, and the
further they got into the subject the
lower down they got into the jug, and
the lower they got into the jug the dry
er the governor of South Carolina got,
who was square drinker and warm
man, with about million pores to
every square inch of his hide, which en-
abled him to histe in n likely share of
corn-juice OF other beverage, and keep
his carcass at the same time well venti-
lated, and generally always ready for
more, while the governor of North Caro-
lima was a more cautious drinker, but
was mighty sure to strike bottom at
about the twelfth drink, like as if ma
ture had measured him by the gourdful.
Well, they sot and smoked and argued,
and the governor of North Carolina was
as hospitable as any real southern gen.
tleman could be, for he ladled out the
whisky in the most liberal manner, be-
ing particular to give his distinguished
guest three drinks to his one and gaug-
ing his own drinks with great care, for
fear that if he didn't he might lose the
thread of his argument and the demi-
john might run dry before the governor
of South Carolina should be ready to
dust out for home, i'll which case it
would look like he had not observed the
laws of hospitality, which would have
been a self-inficted thorn in his side for
years to come, and no amount of apo
fogy could ease his mind or enable him
to feel warranted in showing his countc-
his home district, where for generations
it had been a main point with every
gentleman to keep his visitor well sup
piled with creature comforts and to
hand him good gourdful as a stirrup-
cup when about to make his departure
for the bosom of his family. Singularly
to relate, tbs ca4tiousness manifested by
the governor of North Carolina was of
no avail, for at one and the same time
the jug went dry, and the governor of
North Carolina, much TO his subsequent
modification, when he learned the fact
afterward, dropped off into a quiet sleep
while the governor of South Carolina
continued to keep on with his argument,
holding the empty gourd in his hand in
close contiguousncss to the demijohn.
and wondering at the apparent absent
Of his hitherto attentive ]
host to whom, after O minute and half
of painful silence, he made use of but
one remark: Governor, don't you think
it's II long time between drinks! The
remark was overheard by George, body
servant of the governor of North Caro-
lima, who knowing that there was some
thing wrong took to the woods, where
he remained in seclusion for three days;
but the governor of South Carolina, re-
ceiving no reply from the governor of
North Carolina, mounted his horse and
rode sadly homeward with an irrepres-
sible feeling ut his heart that there was
coming to be q hollowness in friendship,
and that human nature was in danger
of drifting into q condition of chaotic
mockery "-Rictmoud Reforn,er.