The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1886-04-15
LEGAL ANECDOTES.
wise, Witty, and Pungent Sayings OF
Bench and Bar,


wise, Witty, and Pungent Sayings of
Bench and Bar.
The writer remembers hearing of a
gentleman who, not wishing to pay the
legal and recognized fee for a. consulta-
ton with his lawyer, devised an expe-
dent whereby he expected to gain the
information he required without the
usual cost. He accordingly invited the
man Learned in the law" to dine at his
house on particular evening, as a
friend and old acquaintance. The law
yer gladly accepted the invitation, and
attended at the house of his friend and
client prompt to the minute. The con-
versation for some time was very gener-
al and agreeable, and by and by the
shrewd client, by limiting and suggest
ing, at last drew the lawyer out into
learned and explicit dissertation upon
the subject the host wished to be informed
upon. The client pleased, satisfied, and
smiling, chuckled in his sleeve, thinking
how nicely he had wormed out the adj
vice desired and pumped his lawyer free
of cost
The feast over, the lawyer departed,
equally pleased, and, both being salts
ned, all went as merry as a marriage
bell. But few days afterward the client
received letter from his lawyer in
forming him that the charge for pro-
fessional consultation anu advice was
Is shillings and pence, and would he
''kindly attend to the payment of same
at his earliest convenience, and oblige."
The client was wild-caught in his own
trap; but, being determined to outwit the
lawyer and gain his own ends, he for
warded to the latter bill for "dinner,
wines, and accessories supplied" on the
18th inst, amounting to Is shillings
and pence, saying that if he would
settle inclosed bill he should only be too
pleased and happy to settle the lawyers
little bill. The lawyer retorted by
threatening to commence an action
against mine host for selling wines
without license unless his, the lawyers,
bill was Immediately paid. Do I need
to say that the lawyer was victorious?
When I was a boy, / heard of a law
yer who was called up in the middle of
a cold winters night to draw out the
will of an old farmer who lived some
three miles away, and who was dying
The messenger had brought cart to
convey the lawyer to the farm, and the
latter in due time arrived at his desti-
nation. When he entered the house he
was Immediately ushered into the sick
room, and he then requested to be sup
piled with pen, ink, and paper. There
were none in the housei The lawyer
had not brought any himself. and what
was he to do? Any lead-pencil? he in
quired. No; they had none. The farm
er was sinking fast, though quite con-
scious At last the legal gentleman saw
chalked up on the back of the bedroom
door column upon column of figures in
chalk. They were milk scores or
''shots." He Immediately asked for a
piece of chalk, and then, kneeling On the
floor, he wrote out concisely upon the
smooth hearthstone the last will and tes-
lament of the dying man. The farmer
subsequently died. The hearthstone
will was sent to the principal registry in
London with special affidavit, and was
duly proved, the will being deposited in
the archives of the registry. may
mention that the law does nos state
upon what substance or with what in
strument q will must be written.
There was once . plain, outspoken
Judge who, addressing the jury, said:
Gentlemen of the jury, in this case the
counsel ON both sides are unintelligible,
the witnesses on both sides are incred-
ible, and the plaintiff and defendant are
both such bad characters that to me it
is Indifferent which way you give your
verdict"
1t was once reported to the notorious
Judge Jeffries that the Prince of Orange
was on the point Of entering into the
country anu tnas ne was alreauy pro-
pairing manIiesoo as 10 MS inauce-
ments ana oplects In so eoing. fray,
my lora cnlsa e.ns !us.ce ss saiu ger gennt,eman IA
present. =. .k;n Mnat uo 1,, you tn,nA .. MA oe tne
heaus u inlS I Lhahies.S ,;os ine VIII
oo Cn ne ty;tt LGPnu
~ AN unuoepTeu ailol was some Time
aU suoesy Az ss1iuy pio'eo ia al Aiiierican
0'ui' - Ao'1o"S ------------
.And Won COW Won are innocant of tha
ohorna ~ staoI;n1 tb;s rooster from Mr.
%, o,,ar;ad fbs indGe
~ yt ;,.
eS;id sn !, "n 'nnn1'' i''Nn'
w. aro oonf;dent vor did NOT steal
tho roostar ~ or fron, Nj ioneso'' % ~ -
~ S;,.. "a 90, 800 -,
..uoS sm, , %nu ,-n', 80 an fS ;tS,s
81 IL" o,, .an 80 d;d,,+ o+oo, NJ
JonaS, roaS.o, p ;ndoa haoausa T sta1a
.r 1onIs - 1850, So, NJ aS.oo a. $50
,,a W. nens ii1na MI IL. "s.n s' IL e s.'
1igl., anu !, JONES iiVeS h'e niiies iioin
ISL -. .o;s A.
;ra1,a ipaSorn PIO " ~ bo ,r;aoe, INC
'"S, ;I "a sne +. L. ill.,.
recs;xeJ 5,h t%e ' fo1Iow;na I % hin from h;s:Iaw:
,ro.. ..at.onS;n .nu oaL;no ~ IN, ms ~ ho,,
ye s;a &c ad ana nS,ns ans you nIm Nv
@ yEu "iu, -, Us gu. ou' dae;,ad ~ you - " ,onS sne
pn Pc, Mnen ~ you nf olJ I - - es
ca pS pleee u .L u e "a Ss.
ou,I ;oAi 'n,on nc same n,5 20.
IIoos ,I My eJe' "Ien "Heolu' .os.
1ui aI'ehuing q. iuncneon; wien % you
p a,ora nortaIa .ne .hareos eS "a % oonsnl.;n~ @
Pa. s..; 'ne o;; ES a., tbo..os 1nhan
sa;d IT, 60 nar,, aood g. "A !" Most
saiI 'Nt1y LIZ AZ. no ,;y .oy sa,a VI .I.; 80
Propapiy .ne cileh' uea'eo tuIs 90 !oAe'
or pernaPs II urove niin 70 eA.sinities. iS @
n'lonien :. Vi tne Jury o q Ioun I,
sci SCI III sun aooI Ielu LEU =, n ~.
.ne.e W. u.s. III oL
uiose' PiIase :" loe. Ia % 60
tnfty-elA noSsi Jus. eAacIy .hiee LINES
there