Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-08-26
rnr MACON rnrHs AaArK.
How. Hze Tried 10 Teach Dick Z
Play Tennis.

I
How: He Tried 20 Teach Dick TO
Play Tennis.
Writing from oatsldll, N. T., to the
New York 7iRses, 'sH. G. O." says;
At the majors suggestion we took up lawn
tennis and have played every morning and
afternoon this week. The major said last
Sunday that he thought we ought to take
more exercise in the forenoon, 80 that our |
scientific studies at hearts and poker in
the evening would be less injurious. 10
engage constantly in brain work, he said,
would ruin the finest constitution in the |
world, and unless Dick wanted to get |
more like porpoise than ho is now, lose
his intellect aud completely wreck his |
liver, he'd better brace up and join us at |
lawn tennis. But Dick said II he couldn't |
keep out Of an asylum except by spending
four hours a day knocking ball over n
fish net, he'd send and get straitjacket
at once. Besides, Dick said he never saw
man that played good game ut tennis
who was worth at anything else the pow
der IL would take TO blow him TO hades,
and he would rather himself plunge into
insanity at once, and be locked up in the
violent ward, than associate with feeble
minded experts at tennis and become ad
idiot by easy stages. This retort nettled
the major little, for he had Just laid out
S27 in white flannel and other necessaries
Of the game, but after while he came to
the subject again and said that II we
would come down 10 the court no would
show us that tennis, while perhaps not
strictly an intellectual recreation, has its
good points. This invitation was not leveled
at Dick, but Dick followed us down and
appeared 10 take IN interest, OF which the
major was, Of course delighted.
First the major showed us the para
phernalia, which were a smooth square Of
ground, divided by herring net three
feet high and about 20 feet long. There
were two balls used. These were covered
with buckskin and very soft, which Dick
said was blessed providence, for II
hard ball ever collided with a dude
there'd have TO be an inquest, and that
would break up the game. The smooth
square is called court, and II is marked
in large checkers with whitewash, and the
major explained that these were bound
aries, and as the ball fell within or with
out them the players scored. The game
itself, tho major said, consisted in driving
the ball back and forth over the net, and
whenever IL fell within the lines and was
not returned IL counted. Then he asked
Dick if TINT wasn't beautifully simple, and
Dick said IL was-simplest thing he ever
saw--just the thing for incipient maniacs
and convalescents from brain fever, and
he was not surprised Mt its popularity.
The major didn't see any fun in this, but
showed us the apparatus used in knock
ing the balkan arrangement Of wood
and fiddlestrings shaped like q cross
between q snowshoe and frying pan,
and which the major said WAS a racquet,
the best made, and cost him $40, but Dick
said that was wonderfully cheap; the last
racket he had cost him 1900 and lasted
only three days
Having explained oil this the major
proposed game, and said that TO show
Dick that skill was required he would
play alone against two Of us, and that il
wasn't necessary for uR TO put on knioker-
bockers for they had gone ont of fashion,
and 40 Dick needn't fear he had TO show
up like a barrel poised on pair Of Indian
clubs. Dick replied TO this by saying he'd
rather look like the barrel and clubs than
like consumptive broomstick OH hair
, pin, and then the major got mad and said
Dick couldn't tell good pair Of legs il
he saw them, and Dick admitted he
couldn't tell anything about the majors
, legs in knickerbockers unless he had 0
, microscope, and we had quite q Aow Of
badinage, but after while the major Bai6
he'd knock some Of Dicks oonceit out Of
/ him at tennis, and so went up to the housC
and borrowed two more racquets, ant
, the game began. The major said he'd
, ''serve" first, 10 show Ms the way, an6
that when he sent the ball to Dick, DIck'i
business was to send it where he COULDN'T
get it. Dick said that seemed easy
, enough, hut the major laughed
, and said we'd see. SO he TOSSED
J the hall to Dick. Dick grabbed the rae
, quet with both hands, braced himself ,ant
i whncked the ball clear over the oowyart
1 and into the high grass, where ii took tn
| major 10 minutes to find it, while we al
! smoked cigarettes in the shade and con
r graduated Dick on his superior play
/ The major found the ball Of last an,
4 came bacv yu,a ma sai that llUnted II
. for him ~ ga h. tossed the ball to m
9 and missed il and he said that was 81
9 Then Dick got ball and this time sen
IL over the barn. The major watched th
o trajectory come TO a drop, and asked Die
a what in Philadelphia he meant by knock
q ing the ball in that Internal way, an
n Dick said he simply obeyed instruction
and sent where he didn't think the maio
could get it; and then the major o.
pressed his feelings in violent mamie
and went off to find the ball. Will
!. we had pleasant rest unde
the trees. When the major cam
back he looked like lobste
= Just out OF Turkish bath. He sat dow
y in the last stages of apoplectic omotio
and explained that brute strength was nc
2 available in tennis that no Christia
81 ever knocked ball outside the court
he could help it, and that if Dick di
that again it would be love game. Die
10 wanted to know il "love game" meant
free fight, and If SO whether the maio
~ preferred red granite or marble for
" headstone, and the major was so mad b
couldn't see. Finally Dick said lie VIZ
No sorry If there been a mistake, but l
10 didn't see any fun in the game unless
could keepthe major chasing sky scraper
and if physical strength, intellect an
~ knickerbockers were all barred he didn
M see what was left but two fools and tis
M net, and that hereafter, if he had Il
DO choice, he would rather go of in corn,
and suck a stick Of molasses candy.
The major sold his racquet last nigl
% for 50, and says that tennis is goc
w enough for theological students an
M chuckle- headed girls, but man ought
w have more sense in hot weather than Dire
into any employment which inevitab
leads TO a row.