The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-02-03
WIT AND WISDOM.

good story is told of the witty Archbishop
Whately. On one occasion he was In q field near
Dublin where some men were at work IN nay
fieid isNow my men," you all see that tree yon-
der?, pointing to a large tree several hundred
yards away. ,,,.a
ssWe15' said the archbishop .'the man VINO
touches that tree first shall have this half
The men got ready for the race.
''Now, then,' shouted the archbishop, "one'
OF the men started each doing his best When
about one-third OF the way to the tree they heard
the sound OF 9u ad i oSs Of @
sWept past them. With triumphant laugh, the
archbishop touched the tree and put the hd half
knowledged him as the winner each of the losers
were presented with half-crown
Athlophoros has proved remover OF my former
yjgor and strength, and am free to state the es-
innate put on it as the safest and most efncient
cure for rheumatism | have any knowledge OF.
Alb. Davenport, S67 Fulton ST., Brooklyn, New
York.
The magnitude Of the Escurial, the great Span
ish palace may be inferred from the computatlG IN
Of francisco de los Santos that 1t would take FOUR
DAYS fo 90 through ali the rooms and apar. c,nents
the length of the way being reckonec at thirty
three Spanish leagues, when ao Is aSout 100 Eng
windows in the edif1ce.
Thousands find qnc &relef from Indigestion and
sick stomachby Chewing Colgan's Taffy Tolu. 5
cents bundle.
On the p,abllc road between Merlden and Hart
ford, in Connecticut, stands low, dingy, hoyel:
within. which death is dealt out in decoctions OF
Der zine at the moderate price OF hye cents glass
directly opposite is the town burying ground, and
the thirsty wayfarer smiles grimy as he reads
over the door Of the saloon, the cheerful and ap-
s,ropriate inscription;
"key to the cemetery Within"
Henry Sch0nhals foreman Henry Krug Pack
ing Co., st. Joseph, Mo-, uses DR.. Thomas Eclec-
trio Oil with his men for sprains, cuts bruises,
chapped hands, etc. 1t is the best.
The board of directors of an Ohio bank held a
meeting the other day, and after the body had
adjourned the president sent for the cashier and
flames, it is long time since your books were
examined"
Eyes, SIR
''rhe board has decided to employ an expert to
go through them. The result viii show that you
are strictly honest or have been embeZzling from
us. Are you ready to accept the situation?"
-Of course ann
A week after, when he wrote from canada, he
aHas your expert discovered the which of it
yet? Please charge my account with $4,000 adj
dtional, and believe me, yours truly"
wousness and dyspepsia should use Carriers Lit
tie Nerve Pills, which are made expressly for
sleepless, nervous, dyspeptic sufferers. Price rs
cents, all druggists.
The cypress of Santa del Tule, in the Mexican
State of 0axaca, is said to be the Oldest living
thing upon the globe. which is a proposition some
what difficult to prove. Humboldt speaks OF it in
1851 as measuring thirty-four feet in diameter,
146 feet in conference and $50 feet between the
two extremes
We all complain OF the shortness of time, and
yet have much more than we know what TO do
with: Our lives are spent either in doing nothing
at all, or in doing nothing that we ought 70 DO
We are always complaining that our days are
few, and netting as ii there would be no end to
them.-s5eneca
Carriers Little Liver Pills viii positively cure
sich headache and prevent its return. This is not
talk, but truth. One pill dose. To be had of
all druggists. See advertisement
If man would, according to law, give to anoth-
er an orange, instead of saying ~ give you that
orange which one would think would be what is
called in legal phraseology. 'an absolute convey
ance of all right and title therein" the phrase
would run thus II give you all and singular my
estate and ntarnst riobt fitIe and claim and adj