The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1886-11-27
The Parental "No..

QItu bHdl1 huOW budJ 4NO 10 AAACtihts W AbiA
the severe experience and training of the
Fathers of our country,-and these fathers
embraced, in their methods and manners,
all the mothers-has gone the meaning of
many words which are spoken, and sNo"
is one of them But there is no more i'm
portant word for parent to speak, none
that he should utter more carefully, none
that he should use with such certainty Of
its being understood. I shall never forge
scene that occurred years ago at ClareD
don Springs. A father and his little
were resting after long walk upor
grassy slope of hill that ended a.
in precipice. The little boy, u
of all danger, asked to run shsooorroe
flowers that grew near theron
father said "No, mycje Sc
mayn't l, father ?" was the nPur-
of the little lad. Then up m
old man, with wrinkled face y
who was sitting near, "Beca
tells you 50, boy"
His severe words gave a.
the paternal ''No" which v
gotten, and that youth gIt...,..
and never again questione by tSe
his fathers decision witbnty. to
mayn't l, father?" g at a
Perhaps it is harder for from
say "No" to daughters than toe J,
men learn soon, if they learn. n
obedience is necessity in then.
of business, and of all affairssaid
are to be done and trust es Hot
see others do what they lhuing
without hesitation, and tfSoccker
and to expect a prompt Fly road
ity. But with young woLields.
II seems hard to cross thep:
them that what they desireiiSere
and dangerous, and that the. IannoC
\ 1t is difficult to convince any woman
argument, for their reasoning faculty is no5
often very active, and if the affections are
enlisted, it is impossible to carry any case
by logic. The parent must be able to say
'No" in such manner that it will carry
conviction which argument could not pro-
duce, simply because it is the word of one I
who is loved and reverenced. The daugh I
ter will say 'sFather, / do not agree with
you, but know that you are wiser and
more experienced than L am, and that you
love me with all your heart, and will obey
you" 1t takes dutiful and allowing heart
to make such an answer when interest or
affection are involved, but if the parent has
trained the child with that sweet union of
/ love and law which is the best government
for us all, the chances are that such an
answer will be made
A father and mother once sent for me to
talk with their daughter, who was set upon
marrying an attractive but worthless man.
They had exhausted their arguments and
appeals, and the girl was unmoved. | knew
the man, shallow -pated actor at low thea
tres and reeiter Of comic poetry at travel
ling shows; handsome for that style of crea-
ture, without heart, and familiar with low
vice. | told the girl just what he was, and
the sort of lover he would be; that he cared.
nothing for her except as passing fancy,
that the profession was not one which of
fered her the prospect of happy life, that
he would desert her as he had done others,
and used all the influence which / had
to delay, and if possible, prevent her r'.. :,
but in vain. She only said that ~ : {
her, and that l was leagued witi u sos
ents to prevent her from becomih
piest woman in the world; and a
after she ran away with her
mock marriage ended after few months
in misery and divorce; and the parents
took back their daughter, blighted flower,
to grow old, and ugly, and Ieevish, and Z
unhappy in the house where she might
have been an ornament and help. Ifthe
child had been taught from the cradle to
respect the parental ''No," and if that
'No'' had been wisely uttered, the maiden
would not have gone so sadly wrong.
The parental Judgment seems prejudiced
to young eyes, and there is sometimes lack
of sympathy between the heart that beats
slowly as years retard its action, and the
heart that throbs rapidly with each fresh
impulse of youth. But if there is truelove
between parent and child, the child may be
sure that the fathers or mothers "No'' is
never harsh, and rarely prejudiced de-
cision. The parent who desires to make
his children happy must begin while yet
they are young, not to thwart them in every
little impulse and action-but to say ''No''
when it is necessary and judicious, with
such solemnity and emphasis that it shall
no more be questioned or evaded than Lfie
/ AaWo Vi HdIuAC VI bnC dCCISCo VI tOOOs
Such wise and emphatic utterances will
be needed, and young men and women viii
be saved by this kind and decided negative
from the mischief which weak fondness and
unrehecting vacillation have wrought for
many unfortunates The old maxim is
usually quoted for the young, "Learn to
say no. We would apply 1t to fathers and
mothers. Learn to say no; and to children
we would say, 'Learn to hear and obey No.
BRIDAL PREsENTs-A New York So
ciety lady is quoted as saying: "In the
last two weeks | have paid $3.50 for bridal
presents, and do not expect to 60 through
the season under $500 for this item of iex-
pense. | would avoid it if could, but the
fact is, when | was married, three years
ago, it was my misfortune to receiFe abcssy
81 500 worth Of presents from my friends
and relatives, and am gradually paying
back their value to those who gave me
presents and to whom l must give in re-
turn. / thought such liberal donation
fortunate at the time, but Il have learned DIFF
ferently by experience. Whenever | see q
great display of presents at a wedding now
| say to myself There is debt of 80
many hundreds or thousands of dollars that
this young couple has saddled upon then
at the beginning of their career It is
custom that has grown to abuse, and the
only merit see in it is that they pay back
on the installment plan. have several
years to pay my debt, but still | must pay
for many articles for which have not had
the least use.n
A Sharp Retort.