The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-12-23
THE MERRY SIDEl


live issue to write about, last week-a boy.
The recent tour of the american Opera Com |
pany was most successful one al quarreling.
The woikingmen of this country are forming
Tariff Clubs-and the Democratic party has be-
gun to duck its head.
Wirz doubtless ran Andersonville as well as
he knew how He received his training IN
doggely free-lunch room.
Many young man climbs up by the ladder
of his own eonceit, then kicks it from ben'ath
him by his own awkwaldness.
S. "
Assuming that Dabney was at AndeTsonville,
Cleveland ought to be kicked to death by the
shin-bone of a footless skeleton.
Brooklyn girl wanted to marry Cloud Foot,
one of Buffalo Bill's Indians This is not the
first time that Indians scalp was in danger.
He may be a wise man who seeks to guide
the business affairs of others-but he is good
deal wiser who attends TO his own business.
1t is said that Senator Payne cannot articu-
late words beginning with Cd" That's certain
ly very inconvient, for man in his position.
An exchange says Hal 7. Walker, of Ala
bama, is ''as yet the only child born in +he
White House." What does it mean by "as yet?''
Will Fred Mussey please investigate?
A drunk man in Pittsburgh fell into vat of
boiling water and blistered himself on the out
side. He was already blistered on the inside.
The Courier-Journal says "the tariff is a
scheme of the Devil" Coming from the source
it does this opinion is entitled 10 some weight.
Tennyson's latest poem treats of England's
progress as being somewhat like that of the
craw fish. But it didn't take the poet to dscov-
er it.
When Campbell wrote with thunders from
her mighty oak" could he have forseen the
laundering of the maIlet upon the beer-bung?
sLife is real" and all that but after all the
only reel life is that of the gler."-Columbus
Dispatch.
Lived in Colum bus as long as you have, and
think there is 10 other kind of ''reeI?
An exchange says There are more idiots in
the mountain Counties of Kentucky than in
any ether locality of the United States" What
is the name of the College?
The NJ. Z. Conference does not permit the use
of tobacco among. Ministers-but are glad
on this subject, at the annual session.
The monkey belonging to the crew of the
Galatea died and was given a Christian burial,
in New York harbor. This country always
fatal to English monkeys.
There was nothing mean about Cooper, of the
Portsmouth Free Lance. Rather than annoy
his bondsman, Mike Stanton, any more, he
ran away and left Stanton to settle it with Miss
Dempsey.
Reed Blaclwe OF Ironton played with a re-
volver, and found it loaded, to his entire salts
faction, though his hand isn't good as it was.
A Portsmouth man got drunk and fell in the
river, and was taken out sober. This is an ar
gument in favor of the duclling-stool as 4 cure
for intempelance.
A Kentucky farmer drove a steer into Iron
| ton. The nimal took look st the place ran
down the wharf, and swan the river, back to
Kaintuck.
The Waverlyites are much elated over the
failure of the Bank robbers over there. They
didn't get anything-the didn't take the swill
pond away with them.
A Cleveland servant girl inherited two hun
dred and fifty thousand dolIars-and now the
society ladies are surprised that they never saw,
before, what a wonderful merit she possessed.
The Lower House of Congress puts things
through with a rush. 1t only takes an hours
debate to decide whether Member will yield
| five minutes of his time.
In Iowa a soldier was put out as Postmaster,
q hal in xpb he patjt cd
for the suspension of the office, which was
done. This is perhaps the worst case of disap-
poited ambition on record.
There was 'sstrictly society" dance over in
Kentucky last week the crownfng triumph of
which one fellow knocking another in the
head with lump of coal.
The Mexicans are getting paid back for MAX
ing our Democrats drunk. A fellow went over
there the other day and sold thirty thousand
dollars worth of tickets to Patti Concert. Patti
came-and the bogus agent went. So did the
money!
Sullivan made sIO, 900 in his ten minutes fight
with Ryan. This renumerative business has
set our fighting editor to thinking.-Ironton
Register.
But he won't Stop to think any more when
John gets after him. His meditations will
cease, then.
Gen. Grosvenol thinks that placing the local
elections in the Fall might smake the election
of President hinge upon the election of School
Board or Council.' Well, it has depended up
as small things. 1t hinged upon a barrel, in
1873
A Cincinnati Dutchman went crazy upon the
subject of electricity, thinking that his head
was big insulator. He shot man-when
The cut his wire and planted his battery in
Longview Asylum
A young near Galveston, t. xas, last
week loaded his gun, and left the hammer up.
The hammer came down and the yourg man
went up.
The ChilIicothe police ought 10 adopt II new
mode of warfare-just get drunk and stand on
the pike and let the bandits carriages run
against them and upset. Then they'll git 'em.
A Southern Congressman wants the disabili-
ties of the ConfeGeIates removed because we
might need them in case of a foreign war;" A
man who would perjure himself and fight 10
destroy the flag at home would not possess su-
perior advantages as a soldier against foreign |
power.
One member of Congress wants the surplus |
money in the Treasury expended for improv- |
ing the coast defenses. Judging by some of the |
Democratic emissaries to foreign countries all |
we need in the way OF defenses is plenty of soap
and carbolic acid.
-
The management of the Postof1ice Depart
ment is something wonderful. a young man
died in Illinois, and the authorities wrote to
his brother in Indiana. The letter received
thirty-six days afteIward-more than a month
after the man was buried. 1t is hoped that we
will get up, after W bile to the speed of the old
mule team.
-
Charles Brown and Cora Sibiey, of Manistee,
Michigan, got married, and the same evening