The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-09-16
WIT ANDwIsDoM.

johnny mother was rather proud OF her skill
in the har-cutting line and was very iold OF
showing it, much TO JOhnny's disgust. Being nine
wears old lie was disposed to pat onze the barber
The other day, when his mother was making me
preparations which usually preceded the terrible
ordeal which he knew was 10 make MN lne iauglf
ing stock of his playmates, he remarked:
Mamma, Pm not going to have my mar cut 10
day."
'What doyou mean, Johnny?"
II can't allow it, ma Pm really afraid. It's
dangerous" ,.,,,,,
"Why mamma" said the precocious youngster,
backing into corner, Pm surprised at you.
Didn't you ever hear what happened to Sampson
because he let woman cut his hair? You ought
to read your Bible"
Palpitaton, nervousness, tremblings, nervous
headache, cold hands and feet pain in the back,
and other forms of weakness are relieved by
Carriers Iron Pills made specially for the blood,
nerves and complexion.
'sNo, Willie" said mother to her first born.
You can not 20 out and play this afternoon 1t is
too warm. I'm afraid it will make you sick eoa,,
"Thats just the way, mamma, you heep nio
from keeping my word; ana YET you Ish me heFei
nHoW can my command to keep you at home
this afternoon cause you to tell story cohllh-
II promised Charley, who lives in the next block
that would come down right aftnr lunch and
play with him. If / don't go, I'll break my WORD
and he won't believe me any more"
Do not suffer from Sick Headache moment
longer It is not necessary Carter's Little Liver
Pills will cure you. Dose one little pill. All
druggists sell them.
know two little sisters, one five and the other
three years old. Eva the elder, is very much
afraid of thunder, but Pet is Drawer one DAY
lady was calling on mamma during shower Eya
put her face in mammals lap. AREN'T you AFRAID
ion pt2v the lady asked,
mo, the little one answered, with sunny
smile ''only if the funders orhe big, | hide my
ears des mint"
Ray Fever Sufferers.-The number OF
people annually afflicted with this most annoy
ing maady seems to be greatly on the increase.
The editor of this journal is an annu-
al yictIm and with view to discover a specific,
has tried numerous remedies OF these, "Ely's
Cream Balm' is by all odds the quickest and most
satisfactory two applications greatly allayng the
usual symptoms in the nose and eyes. we would
recommend its useby all subject to hay fever,
and we gladly bear unsolicited testimony to It's
efficiency in our own case.
Media, Pa, Record
Fond Father-How is this Charles? Your stand
ing at the last examination was very low
F. F.-What Is the reason?
C.-Well those old professors went and asked
a lot Of questions that could not answer
Beware OF frauds Be sure you get the genuine
Lydia Z. PlnEhams Vegetable Compound Its
fame is world-Yide
Spa say; is euchre real old game?"
II don't know James; what makes you ask
such a question as that while going Zone from
church?' .,
well, / didn't know, Pa. But the minister he
said that when the poor man couldn't eolt alone
tile Leyite he passed ana the Samaritan ne as
sisted, SO didn't know"
Dir. Soule's Pills are purely vegetable, mild in
their operation, in effect thorough.
ssWhen was in Paris" said an English lord;
al had dancing master to whose Instruction
did small credit The man was very civil, and, on
taking leave of him asked il could be OF any
service to him in London.
Yes milor' said he, bowling. Il should take IL
as a particular favor If your lOIdsmp would never
tell anyone Of whom you have learned 10 dance
Ladies why suffer in silence when you can OF
tain sure and permanent relief by using Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
"Hello, Cephas! going fishing in fur cap this
vas Boss My ole straw bowed overheard,
an de ole oman lowed jes' eZ we'll take DIS one,
what wouldn't an when | mention de heatneSs
NV it. she say she reckon eff coons kin war fur all
seasons, fishermen, an uGder varmints KIM
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