The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-09-02
THE MERRY SIDEl

"And a little child shall lead them"-to the
circus.
Nothing can exceed the arrogant assumption
OLA patent-inside paper.
What's the use of anybody in Cincinnti talk
ing about Gangs in politics?
80
Many a man who seeks to pass for royal
gentleman, is only penny-royal.
*x+
The Mexican War over and Congress ad-
iourned. Verify the country is safe!
+x+
What can exceed the dignity and glory of the
plumed commander in a sham battle?
The question "are you going TO the Reunion?"
is meaningless one. Which Reunion?
80"
Resolution is good thing-but never use it
in trying to buck up against the inevitable.
Mexico concluded that the best thing to do
with Cutting was to kick him and let him go.
The Government has established "oleomar-
garine regulators" The way to regulate it is to
bury it.
The most pleasant things one meets in Cir
Gus are the clowns jokes. 1t is like meeting
old friends.
Mrs. Hayes hobby, as Mistress of the White
House, Temperance. Mrs. CIeveland's-
getting her picture taken.
m"ss
There were none wounded in the sham bat
tie at WelIston, but several were wounded at
the public doggery, on the gfennds.
=x+
Energy without intelligent application, is
useless. When a pup chases his tail until he
catches 1.-THE has acquired nothing.
*.*
The name of Robinson for Secretary of State
strikes the Democrats with the soothing effect
of dose of salts on a weak stomach.
The Democrats are the only fellows in favor
of change in Ohio politics. The majority of
the people satisfied with Robinson.
Rev. A. v. Nepper, of Milwaukee, was ex-
PEELED from Conference. He will probably
start out as a high-salaried evangelist.
Halstead compelled to see Alex. Sands
prominent delegate in a Republican State Con-
vention, is what we call rubbing it in."
One OF the first sounds heard upon the assem-
bling of the Republican State Convention was
the wall OF Halstead. That's good sign.
An exchange heads an article "Discordant
There's waste of one word
democracy" would have given the same idea.
sDont you know anything about the value
of money!" yelled angry employer to his
workman.
"Yes, sir-a dollar will buy ten drinks"
"Yesh" said the drunken lover to the young
lady, "we oughter git Chic) married. on want
some thic) body to look up to, when you (hic)
need er friend.
The bravery of the American people is some
thing wonderful. No other people would stand
in the sun for two hours, with the
at ninety, watching ball game.
Myers, of the Enquirer was arrested last week
for perjury. How the deuce case of perjury
could be made against Myers, is what puzzles
the American people.
Said a Salvation Soldier, in his public testi-
mony on the street, "dear friends, I could not
get time to attend the picnic in the forenoon, so
staid at home, and went to the circus in the
afternoon.
The agony of Demo cratic politicians over Re-
publicans dissensions, is like that of the thief
who was afraid the bulldog would get hurt
running through the brush after him.
-
Louis Kemlem, of Cincinnati escaped from
the clutches of the officers, by hanging himself
in his cell. That's an idea that ought to be
fostered in Cincinnati.
which he clai ms is an antidote for political
that medicine for income, he'll starve 20
death.
Some farmers at Oakland, Illinois, captured
wild man, "whose hair hangs below his knees,
and whose beard is three feet long," They
didn't let the story get out until after they had
told it in Chicago.
DIR. Hoadly, of Connecticut, W ho went on the
Greely Relief Expedition has become insane
from the effects of the n orth ern climate. Most
Artic explorers become insane before they go.
How often one is disappointed! Picking up
paper, we noticed the heading "Bad Smash
up!" and settled back to read all about the
cred that it was only Railroad accident.
So
A Chicago preacher charges Bob Ingersoll's
lectures with sending the Anarchists to the
scaffold. Then we hope they'll give Bob per-
charge, somewhere. That's the kind of
preaching that pays.
A well-known gentleman from the country
rem aimed for the Concert at the close of Rob-
inson's Show. When twitted about it after
ward, he remarked: 81 don't mind being made
a fool of, but do dislike be ing made fool of
for ten cents"
Edward Paethke, of Milwaukee, was commit
ted TO an Asylum, on complaint of his wife,
who claimed that he was crazy, in order to get
rid of him. The Mayor turned him out, and
now he can whale the old woman with impun-
ity-for she has already pronom ced him crazy.
The boy at the camp meeting, when he threw
at the white cat sticking up against the side of
the tree, didn't know it was Il bald-headed man
and he didn't wait to apologize.
s'Whst did you think of the sermon?" asked
one boy of another, after listening to a noisy,
believing discourse.
"Splendidr' was the reply-"perfectly
bull-y!"
In a prize fight in Cincinnati between
OLea1y and Murphy, the latter failed to re-
spond on the fourth round, when his second
tried to drag him into the ring, and he tainted.
This was wrong. The fight was to have been
"to a finish," and Murphy wasn't quite fin
ished.
We believe there is one case in which murder
most bloody and cruel-wonld be perfectly
justifable. That is when q Reunion orator be-
+I,o+ ,1,l rocr oI,o,,t tho old Iody n