Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-12-20

| some one else was dong 1t, 1t was hard when
lie tried it himself All the imps of confusion
held high revel in his mind when he attempted
| to give the orders which he had COINED until
be supposed he had them s',lead-letter perfect.
He felt his usually unfailing assurance slrivel
up under the gaze of hundreds of nercilessly
critical eyes. He managed TO stammer out:
Attention, company; forward, file right,
marchlv
| But the company began to execute the
order, it seemed to be going just the opposite
| to what he had commanded, and he called out
! excitedly:
Not that wnyl Not that way. said file
right and you're going leftlr
"We are filing right answered some one
in the company. You're turned around: .
that's what's the matter with you.
So it was. He had forgotten that when
standing facing the men he must give them
orders in reverse from what the movement
appeared to him. This increased his conft,-
| sion, until all his drill knowledge seemed gone
from him. The sight of his young lady friends,
clad in masses OF primary colors, stimulated
him to strong effort to recover his audacity,
and bracing himself up he began calling out
the guide and step with noisy confidence
| that made him heard all over the parade
ground:
@Leftl left! lefti Hep. hep, hep. Cast
| them head and eyes to the risht.'
| Trouble doomed up mountainousy as he APP
| preached the line. Putting company into
| its place on parade is ono of the crucial tests
| of tactical proficiency. To march company
to exactly the right spot, with every man
! keeping his proper distance from his file leader
twenty inches from back TO breast"
! clear down the column, SO that when the
order "front" is given every one turns, as il on
| pivot, and touches elbows with those on each
| side OF him, i'll straight, Grin wall of men,
/ without any stumbling CLOSING up or side
stepping to the right or ieft--to DO all this NJ
| word of command looks very simple and easy
/ to the non-nilitary spectator. as many other
very difficult things look simple and easy to the
inexperienced. But really it is only possible to
! thoroughly drilled company, held well in
hand by competent commander. Ii il some.
thing that, if done well, is simply lone well,
but il not done well, Is very bad. It l. like
an egg that is either cool or utterly worth
/ less.
/ Pancake seemed fated to exhaust the cate
| CORY Of possible mistakes. Coming on the
ground late he found that gap had been left
| In the line for his company which was only
barely sufficient to receive it when it was
ahgned anu compactly dressed.
| In his nervousness he halted the company
before it had reached the right of tho gap 10y
| ten PAGES, and so left about one-auarter of the
| company tapping over on the one TO the left.
Even this was done with an unsightly jumbo
His confusion as to the reversal of right and
| left still abode with him He commanded
| right face instead of 'front.' and was
amazed to see the whole one hundred well
drill is.f 4
regiment and the commanding officer A
laugh rippled down the ranks of the other
companies; even the spectators smiled and
something sounded like swearing by the adj
jutant and sergeant major.
| Pancake lifted hi plumed hat, and wiped
the beaded perspiration from his brow with
the back of ono of his yellow gauntets
"Orclcr AN about face,n whispered the or
derby sergeant, whose face was burning with
| shame at the awkward position in which the
company found itself.
"About-facc!" gasped Pancake
The men turned on their heels.
"Si,lc-step 10 the right" whispered the or
derby
"Side-step to the right repeated Pancake
mechanically.
| The men took short side-steps, and follow
| ing the orders which Pancake repeated from
the whispered suggestions of the orderly, the
company came clumsiiy forward into its
place, dressed and Opened ranks TO the
rear" When at the command of parade
rest, Pancake dropped his sabres point to
OF a strutting cock which had been flung into
the pond and energies with dripping feathers.
lie raised his heart in sincere Thanksgiving
| IN WAS AFT last pnh
nothing more for him to do during the pa
rade, except to stand still, and at its conclu-
sion the orderly would have to march the
company back to its quarters
But his woes had still another chapter The
inspector general had come up to camp to in
spect the regiment, and he was ON the ground.
Forty years of service i'll the regular army,
with promotion average of one grade every
| ten years, making him an old man and a
grandfather before he was a lieutenant col
onei, had so surcharged Col Murbank's ma
| ture with bitterness as TO make even the very
air in his vicinity seem roughly astringent
The wicked young lieutenants who served
with him on the plains used to say that his
bark was worse than his bits. because no rca-
sonable bite could ever be so bad as his bark
They even suggested calling him Peruvian
bark" because a visit to his quarters was
worse than strong dose of quinia
"Yeth, that'th good said the lsping wit
of the crowd. "Evely bite it'll bit, amt
It'll And the wortht mutht be bitter. ath
he ith."
The colonel believed that the whole duty of
man consisted in loving the army regulations
and i'll keeping their commandments. The
best part of all virtue was to observe them to
the letter; the most abhorrent form of vice to
violate or disregard even their minor pre-
cepts
Ills feelings We're continually lacerated by
| contact with volunteers, who cared next to
nothing for the form of war making but
everything for its spirit and the martinez
heart within him was bruised and sore when
he came upon the ground to inspect the
regiment
Pancakes laundering in bringing the COM
pany into line awakened this ire from a pas
sivity to activity.
an have that dunderhead's shoulder straps
off inside Of a fortnight he muttered be-
tween his teeth
| The unhappy lieutenants inability to even
stand properly during tho parade or repeat
an order intensified his rage When the
parade was dismissed the officers, as usual.
sheathed their swords and, forming a line
with the adjutant in the center, marched for
ward to the commanding and inspecting
officers and SALT 3D. Then the wrath of tho
old inspector became vocable
what in Gods name,r he roared. fixing
his glance upon Pancake so Enthusiastically
that even tho latters rainbow-clad girls, who
had crowded up closely, could not make a
mistake as to the victim of the explosives.
@What in Gods name, sir,n repeated the old
fellow, with purplng face, do you mean by
bringing your company on to the ground in
that absurd way, sir! Did you think, sir,
that it Was a bod of brick-with which have
no doubt you are most familiar-that YOU
could dump down any place and any how, sir
Such misconduct is simply disgraceful, sir.
I'd have you know. Simply disgraceful, sir. "
| He paused for breath, but Pancake had no
word of defense to offer
And what do you mean, sir!r resumed the
inspector, after initiating his lungs for an
other gust; what in the name of all the pie
bald circus clowns that ever iiggered around
on sawdust, do you mean by coming on
parade dressed like the ringmaster of a tray
cling monkey show, sir. Haven't you any
more idea Of the honor Of wearing n United
States sword-the noblest weapon on earth.
sir-than to make yourself look like the drum
major Of band of niger Ministries, sirs
Yes, sir; the drum major of a band of niger
MINISTRIES, sir A United States officer ought
to be ashamed to make damned harlequin
OF himself, sir I'd have you to understand
that most distinctly, sir.r
| The inspectors stock of breath, alas! was
not SO ample as in the far-off days when his
sturdy shoulders bore the modest single bar,