The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1886-08-12
How They go to Sleep.

There is an articleSgoing the. rounds
entitled, Chow the girls 60 to Sleep"
The manner in which they go to sleep,
according to the article, can't hold a can
die to- tho way married woman goes to
sleep. Instead of thinking what she
should have attened to before going to
bed, she thinks of it afterward. While
she is revolving these matters in her
mind, and while snugly tucked up in
led, the old man is scratching his legs
in front of the fire and wondering how
be will psy the next months rent. Sud.
denly she exclaims Games, did you
lock the door,"
(Which door?'' says James.
| "She cellar door,, says she.
"No," says James.
| "Well, you had better 60 down and
lock it, for heard some one in the back
yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down the
stairs and locks the door. About the
time James returns and is going to bed
she remarks.
"Did you shut the stair door?"'
"No," says James.
"Well, lift is not shut the cat will get
up into the chamber"
"Let her come up, then," says james,
ilnaturedly.
"My goodness, mop returned his wife /;
"she'd suck the baby's breath" :.
Then James paddles down stairs again
and steps on tack and closes the stair
door and curses the cat, and returns to
the bedroom. Just as he begins to climb
into his couch his wife observes: 81
forgot to bring some water; suppose you
bring some up in the big tin"
And so James, with muttered curse,
goes down in the dark kitchen and falls
over a chair, and rasps all the tinware off
tho wall In search of the "big" tin, and
then Jerks the stair door open and howls :
"Where the deuce are the matches r.
She gives him minute direction where
to find the matches, and adds that she
would rather go and get the water herself
than have the whole neighborhood raised
about it. After which James finds the
matches, procures the water and comes
up stairs and pluDges into bed.
Presently his wife says: James, let's
have an understanding about money mat.
tern. Now, next week I've got to pay"
II don't know what you'll have to
pay, aud don't care?" shouts James, as
he lurches around and jams his face
against the wall "all I want is sleep"
"Thaps all very we'll for you" snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers viclously ;
'you never think of the worry and trour-
bic have. And there is Araminta, who,
| believe, is taking the measles" !.
"Let her take 'em," says James. >.
IIereupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James is falling into a
gentle dose she punches him in the ribs
with her elbow and says: "Did you
hea. that scandal about Mrs. Jones?"
"'Nhere ?" said James, sleepily.
"Nhy, Mrs. Jones"
"Vhere ?" inquiries. James.
"I declare" said his wife, "you are get
ting more stupid every day. You know
Mrs. Jones that lives at No. q /? Well,
day before yesterday Susan Smith told
Mrs. Thompson that Sam Barker had said
that Mrs. Jones had" -; -.
Here she paused and listened. James
is snoring in profound slumber. With q
snort Of rage she pulls all the covers off
him, wraps up in them, and lays awake
until 2 a. ~, thinking how badly used
she is. Aud that is the way the married
woman goes to sleep.-Cfncinnati Enqui:.