The Washington critic., 1886-09-09
A WIFE'S CONFESSION.

polo' ANo, oltuliily ulu uOt huily
for love; believe that l married Mr..
Cartwright simply because he asked me.
This was how ii happened. He was
the rector of Doveton, and we lived at
the Manor House, which was about
ten minutes walk from the
church and the Rectory. We had
daily service at Doveton and |
nearly always attended it, and 1t came
to pass that Mr.. Cartwright invariably
walked home with me. 1t was mat
ter of custom now, and ! thought moth
ing of it; it pleased him, and on the
whole 1t was rather pleasant to me
also.
must confess, however | was
rather surprised when, one morning us
we got to the avenue which led up to
the Manor House, Mr.. Cartwright asked
me to be his wife.
/ have never been able to fud out
why l said yes, but did; perhaps
thought 1t a pity to throw away
so much love; perhaps 1t was
because he was 50 terribly
in earnest that dared not refuse him;
perhaps feared his pale face, and his
low pleading voice, would ever haunt
me If rejected his love; or perhaps 1t
was because he only asked me to m lrry
him-he did not ask me If loved him,
for / think he guessed did not; per-
haps it was all these reasons put to.
gether, but anyhow | said yes, and N
due time we were married.
| ought to have been very happy, for
he was a most devoted husband, but l
was not, and though did not notice 1t
then, | know now that for the first six
months after our marriage he was not
happy either.
1t was all my fault, either would
not or could not love him; accepted
all his devotion to me us matter of
course, but | made no effort to return
it, and am sure he had found out that
he had made mistake in marrying a
woman who did not love him.
One morning about six months after
our marriage, he told me at break.
fast that he intended leaving me
alone for a few weeks, to stay with his
mother, who was not very we'll He
watched the effect of this announce
ment on me, but though was really
displeased | concealed my annoyance,
and asked carelessly when he would
start.
He replied, the next day If l had no
objections, and so it was settled
He was more affectionate than usual
that day, and ] was colder than ever;
only once alluded to his journey, and
that was TO ask if l might have my
sister Maud to stay while he was gone.
The next morning | was anX-
ious to avoid formal parting,
so l drove to the station with
him. AS the train moved off remem-
bered this was our first parting since
our marriage, and | wished had not
been so cold
When got home the house looked
so dreary and empty, and there was no
one to meet me. Presently one of the
servants came for the shawls, and with
her, Nero, Mr.. Cartwright's retriever,
which, when he saw | was alone, set
up howl for his master. patted him
and tried to comfort him, feeling re.
buked by his grief, as he followed me,
whining, into the house. Every room
seemed empty, and each spoke of the
absent master. AT last | wandered into
his study, where he spent his morn
ings, and liked me to sit and work
and now / remembered how often !
had excused myself, saying preferred
the drawing.room. and this reflection
did not add to my happiness.
There was photograph of me
standing on his writing. table, and
another on the chimney. piece; on the
walls hung two or three of my draw.
ings, which he had begged of me when
we were engaged; indeed the room was
full of little remembrauces of me;
opened book had given him, and il
it was his name in my handwriting
and underneath in his own, "From my
darling wife" / laid it down with {
sigh as | thought how carefully h(
treasured everything had ever giver
him, and how little care | took of al
his gifts to me.
Everything / attempted, everything
looked at, reminded me of his good
ness to me, and my GOODNESS aud in
gratitude to him, AT last
went to bed, where, after WORKING
myself into fever of anxiety hest h
should not have reached the end of hi,
journey in safety, | at length cried my
self to sleep.
TIE next morning | went down t
breakfast with heavy heart, for
knew ] could not hear from him til
the next day. 1t seemed so strange t'
breakfast alone, and Nero appeared tt
think so too, for he was most unhappy
smiling round his masters chair In thu
most melancholy manner.
My plate, for the first time since my
marriage, was empty as | sat down Il
breakfast, for my husband, who wa
an early riser, always had It'll,
bouquet to greet me with every morn
ing, Frequently | forgot all about /
and left II to be put into water by tn
servant This morning ! would hay
treasured it most carefully, if he huC
gathered 1t,
After breakfast determined to rous
myself and go and visit some Of tn
poor people in the village, 50 | lllet
my basket with some little delicacic
for the sick and set out.
Wherever | went it was the sam
story, all held forth on my husband
goodness and kindness, for all had beel
helped by him In some way or other
and all loved and respected him, AS
listened with burning cheeks, | felt Il
If was the only person on earth VIII
had treated him with cruel ingratitude
and ! was the very person whom h
most loved and cherished.
AT last | went home, tired and sic
at heart; but there was no one to nc
tice was pale and worn out; no one t
get me wine or soup TO revive me; n
one to make me lie down and rest, a
he would have done had he bee
there Oh, how missed him
What fool | had been Wa
there ever woman loved an
cared for MS | had been? Was Their
ever friend so ungrateful? Ohl VIII.
lad ever let him leave mcY wa
sure he would never come back, Wh,
Lad he gone awayY
And conscience answered, "Yol