Daily Tombstone epitaph., 1886-01-13
CONVERSATIONAL.
Advice to Those Who Desire to Become Proficient In the Art of Being
 Agreeable.

like to become expert in conversation. She realizes that as wife she must carry herself with dignity and self possession, and that her conversation ought to be ready and intelligent. What she particularly desires is the ability to talk with "a whole company, and even to be the leader of conversation. She fears that the meeting of many strangers in her new.ho will appall her conver- sational powers, which in her old home rarely failed her The foundation of a new home circle is in the special prov ince of Good Housekeeping, and we will respond to the letter on this page.
 A trying ordeal it is for woman to break away from her home where she has always lived and where everything and almost everybody whom she sees is familiar, and enter a strange home where nearly all are strangers and where many new acquaintances are to be acquired. Next to her care that she shall look well, which is usually easily provided for, is a woman's concern that she shall appear to be intelligent, an end that she regards as of uncertain at- tainment, because her feelings greatly predominating over her intellect, she contrasts herself with the other sex, whose intellect is more conspicuous than hers A natural timidity, arising from almost exclusive home experience, is sure to magnify every difficulty, and she approaches the ordeal with misgivings.
 The principles that underlie conversa- tional ability fully cover this case. The very first requisite of all, compared with which all the rest are insufficient, is confidence, without which no one can talk well, neither privately nor publicly. It comes in various ways to different people, being inborn in some, knocked into others by contact with the world, and, in conversational way, in the case of still others, often acquired by practice under disciplining circum- stances. Bearing upon all these in stances is the command that one has over the language, and his ready use of words. In short good conversationalists arc born as well as made
 With inborn assurance and loquacity, no one will falter in conversation, and, though his part may not be well sus- tained, he will be likely to monopOlize attention. If to these be added prac- tice, an extensive knowledge of the world, varied reading and thoughtful intelligence, spiced with storytelling powers, person will shine in conversa- ton above most of his fellows and may pardonably take the lead in it. At the other extreme, one whose power over language is very limited, whoh as been so homekeeping that he knows little of the world, who is timid and fears to trust himself in the mazes of connected sen- tences, and never has conversed much, will be failure conversationally, no matter how intelligent he may be. The average person is mean between these extremes, and such we will assume our correspondent to be.
 The average lady will gain confidence when she finds herself constantly where she needs it, and, with ordinary con- mand of language, she may decidedly improve her conversational ability; but whether she may hope ever to become a leader, is doubtful-certainly not if she is in the presence of gifted talker, though otherwise she may train herself to take stand in the front rank among others. Practice must be persisted in constantly, taking advantage of every opportunity to converse, and making study of the matter. Newspapers should be read thoroughly, for they supply sub- jects that are timely, and often much in addition. Taking care to note the sub jects that may be conversed about, the reader will cultivate her memory and provide herself with ready material for discussion. The fresh and best litera- ture of the day outside of newspapers should be treated in the same way.
 Ladies usually narrate the incidents of their life, both great and small, re- mote and recent, feelingly and enter tainingly, and these may be depended upon for conversational stock, where proper. They should be enjoined to ao- quire an intelligent comprehension of the affairs of the town or city where they live, of their State and even of the Nation, not only current events, but his torical. Thus prepared the average lady, keeping in good practice, will have a capital start for conversational conquests, and will then be able to do well on higher plane of subjects of more abstract and intellectual nature. 10 SuSldln cOnNerSatlOn or tnlS klnu much reading of the best sort and con- siderable study are necessary, the par ticulars of which would need special article for their treatment.
 With all these preparations in gaining confidene, in practice and in providing the subject matters, our correspondent ought to become very good conversa- tionalist. But it should be remembered that one should possess an art in con- versation beside talking-the art of making others talk. One who is genius in this social duty may monopo- lize most of the time and so charm his hearers that they will be content to be silent; but, if he is not a genius, he may make himself obtrusive and call forth unpleasant criticisms Therefore. to give others an opportunity to talk. who may stand in danger of finding none, a talented conversationalist will ascertain their favorite and most familiar fields of knowledge for purposes of enticement. Good suggestions of subjects for others conversation are sometimes more advis- able for one than taking the lead. How ever easy conversation may be under other circumstances, the most unfortu- nate and unsatisfactory attemnt will he