The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-06-23
DoRRoH II. o.
JOE PRINCE.

L appreciate tho compliment from NV
unknown friend In Anderson. IL eo,
minds mo of a joke which / will toll for
his benefit. Two Young men, whom wo
will call Dick and Harry, had long boon
cunning together and loading a very fast
iiic. In a special manner, they had con
sunlcd IL great deal of whiskey. But at
longth dissipation began to present its
Legitimate results, and Dick was brought
to deaths door. The n~eighbors gathered
IN to 500 the last of the poor r]cprobatc,
and some tried to console him, and some
chided him upon his wasted lifo. and
some spoke III OMNIBUS whispers of his
approaching and awful death. FINALLY
his old partner, Harry, came. IIo went
to II bedside and gazcd at Dick long
and earnestly. Then he fclt of his pulse
and orhi hands and feet, and then turn
ing to the friends he said:
81 don't believe that Dick is Obliged to
die. If you'll just take somo whisky
n warm it up, and Swcctcn ii, and put
Il little ginger in ii, and let Dick drink
some of it every onco in-a-whilo, | be-
/ V hcU pull through yet"
Dick brightoned up instantly, and re-
piled:
"Iou talk like . man that h4d somo
Judgment"
have made II very careful estimate or
the human family, and find that largo
majority have a natural appetite for
wholesome amusement, and that these
people constitute tho best specimens Of
the race. The long faced croakors i'm
agine That thoy are the salt OF the earth,
but in most cases misanthropcs would
DC 4 better namo for thcm. Tho lesson
of the P~haraSccs, it appears is still lost
upon humanity.
BY the way, Mrs. Prince wants to know
why Il college commencement is always
put ut the other end OF tho conccrn?-
Wei expect | made poor show i'm on
planning the thing to her, because Won
see, / didn't know.
stephen Garrett can beat ANYBODY
loading a calf. Some time ago Stcphcu
had occasion to lead a calf to pasture,
about one quarter OF n milo. Tho calf
worried along till il got about half way.
1t then lay down and sworo it wouldn't
go another step. In this emergency
Steve deliberately tied the calf to n trco
and went back homo and went to bod.
The ncHt morning tho calf vert on tho
balance Of the way without any rouble.
Sieve is lot tho "boy that the calf ran
ovor."
We'll, Tdon't know what to say about
tho question OF "HuRgostion." However,
| think il! | stood Il good change of hoiuy
one of tho "Suggcstccs," ! would like
the plan very well, If not, perhaps not.
Tho question is by no means "a now one.
1t comes up in Amos every town and
city election, whore leading citizens
Suggest" names to DO voted for "a tho
'pnoplo's ticket" tho "wet ticket" the
dry ticket" etc. The question came up
in Georgia, in the timo OF Judge Long
street, | think in this form:
"Should tho votes of faction DO dstsr-
mined by internal suggestion, or Ivy the
bias OF Jurisprudence"
don't remember how il WAS decided
thon, but | can't 500 why "intnrnal aug-
S~estion"i is not AZ good as tho "bias Of
Jurisprudence" that ia, if Conventions
would stay sober.
Il. s.. | might consent to take charge
Of til" A~pHERrlsEn long enough TO give
the editor-in-chief time enough to mar
ry,.i. e., if his cDurtship is finished.