The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-12-31
EMBARRASSED PEOPLE.
4 Man Meets His Newly Divorced Wife
| and Newly-Mads Husband.

| and Newly-Mxds Husband.
He came to me in the car as we were
jogging along over the Erie. and with
out any preliminary palaver about the
weather or the crops or the Bulgarian
question. he asked:
do you see that couple ON the
right?"
| YES"
"Purty good-looking woman"
'.She is that"
Got ON some nice tcgs?'
! Eyes"
"What do you think of the mane''
'sOh, he seems to be a sensible sort Of
. man--probably villager or farm
| er."
"Yes; he lives back here in a small
town. and he's purity good fellow"
"Then you know him?"
"Well, kinder. Say, I'm in q sort OF
box and want a little advice"
"Well?"
''Well. that woman used to be nv
wife. We were divorced about q year
| ago. and she's now married to him and
they are now on their bridal tower. or
toO-er. or whatever you call it. I'm
kinder embarrassed to know just what
| policy to pursue. but you can see the
case from a neutral standpoint. Now.
then, shall knock his head off. treat
'em with cold contempt, or go over and
wish 'om much joy?"
what were the grounds for di-
vorce?''
1--WE fit too much. I wanted to be
boss and so did she. She'll either boss
that chap or break his neck"
DO they know you are here?"
'Oh, yes, and l s'pose they are
| kinder embarrassed. too. 1t seems q
ease where some proceedings ought to
be taken"
"a row won't help you any,"
'.No. l s'pose not, but if could git
Mary mad you'd hear some of the big
gest splitting and jawing which ever fell
on mortal ears. Say, she's opened on
ME at three o clock in the afternoon and
kept it up until midnight without stop
ping over three times for breath.
Such command of language you never
saw
..Silent contempt would be . wise
policy
mot in this case. See how peart and
proud she sits up there! She does that
to brag over me. She wants to give
me to understand that l WASN'T the only
husband she could get. If l treat EN-
with silent contempt how is she to find
fhot To
the Wilder Belden, who brings me n
humping big farm and $1,000 in cash?
want Mary to know that. The day
she left me she said was too pizen
mean TO marry the fat woman in side
show. and l want her to know that I
was engaged to a staying-looking wO-
man in less than six weeks. l think
I'll 20 over and have talk with EN-.
well, don't ra Sc any row."
ooh. shan't unless the Teller begins
to buster around"
He went up the aisle to the water
cooler, and l changed my seat to the
one behind the couple. When the man
came back he stopped in front of them
and held out his hand to the man and
said:
Hello! Jim; going down to New
York;"
Yes" replied the other, as they
shook.
'.Kind of a bridal too-er, ch?"
"Yes"
.'Got my old woman along. I see?'
'Y-yes.' was the jerky reply.
"Well, Mary" he said. as he turned
to her, $50 you've got another man,
eh?'
None o your business, Tom Lap
ham,
"Oh. 1t aint! Same old Mary. see!
That's Just the chin-music you used to
give me when ! asked why dinner
wasn't ready"
''You shet up.''
'.That's more of it! Seems almost as
if we were living together again, and
was lodging the broom-stick. shall
be married Saturday."
"Humph-'
..Humph! Well, you bet it's humph!
She's four times as good-looking as you
are, and has big farm and $1,000 in
cash."
don't believe it!''
"Same old Mary! Sounds perfectly
natural to hear you call me dog
goncd liar. Well be down to New
York Sunday night, and mebbe will
stop at the same hotel you do
'.No. you wOnt'!''
"Yes, we will!'
"You shan'tr'
1--WE shalt"
''See here, Tom," said the bridge
groom. who was red clear back to his
collar-button. ''please let up" This is
an embarrassing situation for me-
Eyes. 1 s'pose it is, Jim. and I'll do
any thing to oblige. OF course. you've
married my old secondhand wife, and
of course you don't want to be twitted
of it. l see the pint, Jim, and I'm
DONE"
Mary got up with both fists doubled
up and her fighting jaw on. but the
bridegroom quieted her, and the d.
vorced husband said to me as we walked
to the rear of the car:
"Yes, it's kinder embarrassing to
Jim, and don't want to hurt his feel
ings. Kinder embarrassing to me. too.
and for Mary, and 1 guess we'd better
have a game of euchre. First time ]
ever had a divorced wife, or met her |
married to another man. and didn't
exactly know how to take it Much
obliged for your kindness, and I order
the ace of spades up."-M. Quad, ia
Detroit Free Press.
What the Kid Feared.