Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1886-11-13
STRAY SUNBEAMS.


The great woman question-"W What
did she have on -
For the comhativp-A duel is the
quickest kind of encounter, because 1t
takes only two seconds.
An observant writer says that few
men know what TO do with their hands.
They should offer them to some nice
girl.
"Culchaw''-A provincial lady Of
culture was lately heard To remark:"I
am not not much of q grammlrist. but
am a pretty good 'rithameticker."
a pretty girl won q musket in the
FrencA lottery. When they gave it to
her she asked: Don't they give a SOL
der with it,"
A graveyard in County Cork has the
following notice over its entrance gate:
"Only the dead who lives in this parish
are buried here"
ayes" observed Mrs. Crap. Eve
kinder got tired Of gas and now we're
goin' to have the house lit with clan
destine electric lights"
A cOlOred woman own up to having
been so badly frightened in the recent
earthquake that. as she herself put it,
"she shook like an 'ashpan."
What papers off my w~riting-desk
are you burning theley' cried All author
to a girl. "Oh, only the paper what's
all written over, sir. ! haven't touched
the clean"
An old farmer who wrote to an
nAitAr n,l.i,,n hn,.r IN rnt rid Of r,nlnc
and received the reply, Plough them
out answered back: Cant do it.
1t is on my darters nose!"
Young mother displaying the baby):
Isn't she "A dear little thing, Mr.. Pod
snap? POdSnap Gather Of a large
family: Yes they're very expensive.
I've got six of EN-.
"Are You well acquainted with your
mother tongue. my boy 2" asked the
sclloOl-teacher of "A new scholar. "IeS
sir, answered Tn" lad timidly. "Ma
jaws me Il good deal, sir"
"Wllat are you in here forl' asked a
visitor at the p~eniteNtiary. "CauSe
| was put in" growled the prisoner,
in here cause | likel it, did yerp"
I'm afraid it's not genuine" said
a lady to a Shonmnn. "Oh, yes. it is,
madame" replied the polite gentleman.
All our cameiS-hair shawls are made
Of pure silk, direct from h eworm.'
Stranger: , left my umbrella here
last night. Where is it? $40 l-keeper:
| don't know. Stranger: Why, You
said | could leave it here. ShOp-keeper:
Yes, but | didn't say you'd find it here
when You came back.
Tombstone dealer Ito widow: Would
you ike tn" cause of your husbands
death explained on the stone. madame?
Widow: Well -cr perhaps it will be
appropriate to engraVe - couple OF
cucnmbers on it, if You will.
A Boston lawyer recently met his
match in q witness who was giving
evidence about an old ladv's loss OF
mind. Lawyer: Did She look rs | am
looking at you now. FOR IN stance? Wit
ness: Well, yes. quite vacant-lke.
A little Scotch boy. on being rescued
by a by-standcr from the dock into
which he had falInn. expressed heart
'eit gratitude. say'Hg: I'm SO glad
YOU got me DOT. What Il lickin' ! wad
have frae my mither if / had been
drooned'"
Just before Congress adjourned
malarious symptoms. Take k'nepn,"
said a friend. Wei, / will" replied
Herman. tlioughtfully. "I've been
taking qui-nine, but it doesn't seem to
do me amy good"
George: Then you will have me?
Aurelia Cirmly): No sir. Georye:
Then ! have but one request to make.
.Aurelia (aiircted: What Is it. George?
George Din tears: Hpry me in the woods.
Aurelia CONSIDERABLY: Hadn't better
call the bull-log to Kill you ,irst?'
A Georgia colored debating society
was lately discussing (Which is the
best for a lahuring man, to work for
wages or part Of the CROP" An old
"uncle" spoke the sense OF the meeting
when he said: "Bofe was de best, If
dey could only be brung togedder
somehow"
Mistress IT. applicant forcook): What
experience nave you had as cook? APP
pllcant: I was Siven years i'm me- lasht
place, mum. Mistress: Why did You
leave there? Applicant: The master
and mistress both died, mum. Mistress:
What did they die Of? Applicant:
Indigestion ,mam.
Clara Gin carriage with horse running
away: DO You think You can stop
him with one hand, George? George
with his teeth set): | d-don't think
| c-can st-s.op him, b-but ! can
keep him in the road. Clara with per-
feet c~onfidence): Very well, try it for
another mile, and then, If he doesn't
stop use both hands.
Gan experienced traveller" SAYS that
in a sleeping car the upper berth is
coolerin summer and warmer in winter.
This travellers "eXperielce" no doubt
has taught him that it ioa very difficult
.hing to secure a lower berth sometimes,
and he shows wisdom in ~endeavOring
to persuade others that the upper
berth is the berth they want.
A California man tried to run away
from his wife, and boarded a sailing
vessel for Honolulu. His wife went
by steamer, got there first, met him
when he landed and escorted the I'M
happy man back home. AT first her
conduct vas attributed to her strong
love for her husband but it was after
ward aScertainei that ne had concealed
her false teeth before he leIt.
"When | was a young man." said
the red-headed citizen, II wanted to
be a Texas cowboy. | got a position on
a ranch after correspondence with the
owner, and went, full of enthusiasm,
to begin my wild life upon the plains.
When mot NV aynnlnypr INV bpnoo