The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-10-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

A question of finish. Miss Higg-And what
course would you wish your daughter to pursue
the dead LANGUAGES and the seyerer studies, or
Mrs, Veneer (whose husband has just retired
from the furniture line with fortune1-Oh. MOI I
can't abide the dead finish; give her the French
polish, even If it costs little more.
Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound re-
wives the dropping Spirits inyigorates and harmo.
nizes the organic functions.
= IL IS very strange, Judge, that you have never
met congenial soul with whom to link your for
We'll, III tell you how it is Marriage is either
heaven or hell. don't deserve heaven, and If /
can manage to keep out of the other place I'm 60
You make no mistake when ysu use Dr. Soule's
Pills to regulate your liver.
Only hree Indian scalps have thus far been
presented Tor the rewards offered in Arizona. and
THESE were all IN the hands Of one man. When
asked 20 make affidavit that they were the scalp
locks Of hostile indians, he replied, 'Wall, two Of
'em had sot cabin aiire and killed a settler, and
the other was comm fur me with his knife but
can't say as they wus hosstie." The reward was
promptly handed over.
Always keep 1t on hand. Ifyou have a cough
or cold use DIR. BulrsCough Syrup. 1t will cure
you.
Mr.. John 7. Dowell, 1o2 s. Charles street. Bal
to-, Nd writes; "For lumbago and neuralgia af-
fections / consider Salvation Oil an excellent
remedy.
Little Fannie was saying her evening prayer at
her mothers knee, and instead of the usual end
ing, "Amen," she startled her mother by saying
"Aboys"
what did you say, Fannie9" asked her moth
II said 'Aboys;' l like boys better than do
men," replied the child.
Pain from indigestion, dyspepsia, and too hearty
eating is relieved at once by taking one of Car
ters Little Liver Pills Immediately after dinner.
Don't forget this.
Teacher-Defne the word excavate.
Scholar-lt means TO hollow out
Teacher-Construct sentence in which the
scholar-rhe baby excavates when it gets
hurt
Last years fashions are out of date, but last
years friends are still our own. This is why Lyd-
Ia L. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound never loses
favor.
Chronology--Old gentleman quitting few ques-
tions) Now, boys-ah-can any of you tell me
what commandment Adam broke when he took
the forbidden fruit?
Small scholar like q Shot)-fleaSe, tnlr, TN
w0rn't no commandments, then, thlr!
Women with pale colorless faces who feel weak
and discouraged will receive both mental and
bodily vigor by using Carters Iron Pills, which
are made for the blood nerves and complexion.
Young Lady (reading card just brought in-Mr.
Frank S. S. Smith,
Young Man (who dislikes the Interruption
Dear me. how his mother must have suffered
when he was christenedl
Give Eiy's Cream Balm a trial. This
justly celebrated remedy for the cure of catarrn,
hay fever, cold in the head, &C., can be obtained
Of any reputable druggist and may be relied upon
as safe and pleasant remedy for the above COM
plants and will give immediate relief. 1t is not
liquid, snuff or powder, has offensive odor and
can be used at any time with good results as
thousands can testify, among them some of the
attaches of this cffce.-Spift Of the Times, May
%, 1886.
Old Line Democrat Ito politca manager)-Is
the ticket nominated by the Democrats strong
one?
Political Manager--Yes, very strong
o. L. D.-Whom have they nominated TO draw
the Independent vote?
p M-John Forester Andrew fine yonng In
dependent and the son of an illustrious Republi-
can.
O. L. D.-And whom have they nominated to
catch the Greenback labor vote?
p NM George X. Foster.
o. D.-But who has been selected to please the
Democrats?
r. Mo one. We did not think it necessary
this year.