The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1886-06-26

One style of man finds his local pa
per too high-priced-he can get cer-
tain papers four times as large for half
the money. He usually takes the
weekly edition of the New York Etern..
ity, containing two hundred columns Of
New Jersey snake stories, and reports
of the cotton market for reading mat
ter, and twice as many columns of pat
enr medicine and prize package adver-
tisements.
This man prefers to read the adyer-
tisements, not because of their superior
literary merit, but because the type is
larger. He is one of these kind of men
who does not read the common, domes-
tic English language that the Puritans
brought over in the Plymouth Rock,
with as much ease as he might. He
grapples quite successfully with the
second reader brand where the large
words have been all sorted out, but
throws up both hands when he comes
TO whero the language is taken just as
it comes as in this family journal. He
may be- on quito intimate terms per-
sonally with each Individual member of
the alphabet, but where they get to-
gether in groups Of over six, he finds
that he does not recognize the combina-
ton. There are so many words mixed
with the matter in his local paper that
contain moro than six letters, that it
makes very disjointed reading for MIN.
In the New York sheet it is different
the same matter appears about so often
and he has rather got the hang of it.
Every six months brings the same ques-
ton about how to cure pone spawn,
with the old regulation answer. The
same old snake legends crop out, the
same directions for laying the founda-
ton for agooseberry pie, the same lead
ing editorial On moral suasion as fac
tor in weaving calves, the same anec-
dotes of Benjamin Franklin, the same
ground plans for an improved pig
trough that swine can't get their feet
in. An editor, with an under jaw like
gang plank, sit in the office and
makes up the paper from the old files,
year after year.
That's the kind of newspaper the
man gets who thinks his homo paper is
too expensive. He takes it till at last
his wife gets a divorce and his children
move off in the direction of the tall
timber.
How this man must love week after
week, from July to eternity, to wade
through This kind of matter. Never
word about his town or even his statet
While our local paper notes the fact
that ne marketed springs turkey that
weighed forty-seven pounds on foot,
this New York gathering of gloom is
talking about introducing domestic
fowls in the Dried Missionary Islands,
When this man is at last frozen to
death, his home paper, despite the fact
that he never took it, will devote col
umn in telling of his many virtues, and
the editor will ruin his last chance of
salvation by saying that the deceased
will be greatly missed, while the New
York Solar System, if it mentions it
at all, will do so like this: Gan un-.
known man perished in the recent storm
near Waddleton. Dacota Territory
He was rather weak-minded and was
under the influence of frontier whisky
at the time"
The man who stops his local paper
alleges many reasons but this is tho
manner of him who does it because the
big eastern messenger of misery is
cheaper Estelline Cd. I'd Bell.