Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-24
BRIGHT BITS.

MAMMA-When poor Christian was walking
through this valley he met a horrible monster
with great glazing eyes like Goals of fire, ana
tne monster mad voice ike rolling thunder,
and he brrathed ~moke and flame from his
terrible nOstris. Who was il?
lrma lwno spent last summer in the coun-
try)-Oh, mamma, know; IA Ow!-B~rdette.
THERE was joy upon the Avenue,
For the sound OF strife was DER,
And the seventh IN its pride Of story
stepped forth as in days OF yOre.
But 1t heard no sound Of firing,
Like the banging at Five Forks,
save the rattlng OF the dishes,
And the popping OF the cOrks.
-Neto York Journal.
AN old New York gentleman, meeting his
grandson, said to him in an impre -sive tone
Of voice: my dear boy. hear some very dis
COuraging re ports about You. They say that
yOu 20 behind the scenes and toy with the
actresses. Is that SOP"
~ es, uncle; to q -rtain extent"
Drop them, my bow. Eve been there when
was at your age, half century, ago. They
are bad lot"
"But, uncle, actresses of to-day are very
different from what they were when you were
a boy"
Not much. They are the same identical
actresses. "-Tecas SiftingS.
A BLUNT old German member of the Hi
nOis Lee islature, Dir. PiOtke. was one of the
committee appointed 10 investigate The State
Penitent AIRY at Chester While there he was
Chlltu on lOf Il SDefCu. iL was certdlnlW
speaking under dfiieuIlies. He said: II hard
ly know wot to say to you. 1 cannot cali You
shentlcmens, because you is not shentlemens.
and again Ican't call you friends, because dot
might gf mine'ef away Not shall l call
you. den2 l will call you members of the IL
lnos PenitentiAry. shOOst the same as we
members OF the Illinois Sheneral Assembly.
You have been unanimously elected. | can
not say dot am glad YOU is here, because dot
might make you feel bad. and q n again can
not say dot j. sorry you Is here. because |
dink it was g0Ot dot you was here now be-
cause you is here, and hopes you will do
your duty shoost de same as VIC do our duty
for de term for which you is elected. "-Tepds
SiItjHQS.
ONE day a Boycott strOlled into the tool
house ami sat down for a chat. The hammer
and saw, pegging aw and trOwel and
other honest tools took advantage Of the en-
trance NJ boy looking for something he had
n business 10 tage, to move a little farther
away. "Why do you avoid me?" asked the
Boycott. Am | not Il friend of labor? Am
| not its mightest weapon? Am not your
common defender?p
Excuse US" replied an old sledge. who
was seven up in the civil service lists,
but you don't seem to be one of is.
There Is smell of Russian prison about
Won, a stirling faint of German oppres-
sion, stencil Of English repression.
an a foul Odbr 81 Hungarian pauperlsm. a
general dpcayed flavor of gnOrance and bru-
tallty, and sen7eess ter0clty that we don't
like. We know it isn't YOUR fault: II was
born OF tyranny and henlessness, hut it isn't
AmCrlc n. and 10 isn't pleasant. You have a
foreign AIR about you tn { makes the room
close and offensive. Go out and wade around
and hunt for the oregon for about SIX months,
and you'll come back "a clean as a Chinaman.
60 ak yourself boycott yourself, and see
how glad well BE- to welcome you in to the
SHOE" This Table teaches us 10 remember
that no civilized Christian man ever yet
learned to throw the boomerang with danger
to his enemy or safety to himself .-BUrdette.