Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-06-05
PITH AND POINT.

oll taShs-l1diI pluS.
A trying position-That of Judge.
Always ready to strike. The police
man.
If you wish to communicate with the
finny tribes of the sea first drop them
line.-Detroit Free Press.
"say, waiter, do you call this spring
lamb?" ''Yes, sir, last years spring
lamb. "-Bsrlin Budget.
Mamma-"W don't you move out of
the sun, Kitty, if it troubles you so.' Kitty
-"Cause l got here first.-LJe.
"The new edition of Webster's die
tionary is to define dude" We didn't
suppose it was possible.
Herald.
A great many complain OF empty
purses, but what man was ever rendered
unhappy by the conscious possession of
an empty head.--Lye.
A good batter is as essential to robust
buckwheat cake as to q base ball nine.
1t always wants to come in on the home
plates. Cotton (Cal.) Hub.
Gertrude-"How cruel! Why did
you snub that p3or little MANI" Maud
-"Why, it's the latest fashion. Only a
boy cut. '"-Harper's Basar.
Charming little pink tipped. she'll
like ears you have, Miss Totty. Did you
ever have them p erced!" mo; but
have had them bored. "-Judge.
Shetland that scar, Major. Did
you get it during an engagement" He
acknowledgements! No; the first
week of our honeymoon. "--Judy.
An exchange has an article headed,
Every Woman Should Wear Smile. y
But there is no use talking they won't
do it unless fashion says o.-Chicagc
Ledger.
Mrs. Thompson, the pos mistress of
Louisville, although weak women, is
said to be able to lick stamp as we'll as
a big strong man could do the same
LoaceU Citizen.
| Somebody has written book entitled,
"What Shall My Son Bel" Upon which
some one frankly replies: eff the boy is
as bad as the book, the chances are that
he will be hanged. "-,SJtings.
1Esthetic Boston
| Has much to 'boast on, ;"
| Especially her pork and beans
| But Chicago
| Makes her jaw go
When there's dandelion green's
| -Goodalrs Sun.
The circus bill has come and again we
are haunted by a question which makes
us wake up in the middle of the night
and think and wonder, namely: Does the
hippopotamus keep his mouth open all
| winter, E',ieIiiue Dnk \ BeU
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
l wish Ihad-ani yet do not know
| wish l could-but that / would not do;
| wish were-l would not that were so
l wish-but that woI!d my wish prove
untrue.
I tell you what wish; wish that you
| Would tell me what | wish wish 1 knew
| II. Burdette
"There," said Mrs Highfyer, as her
daughter ceased from torturing one of
the high numbered cops" of Beethoven,
that's what call finished perform
ance, eh, Mr. Joncs?" And Mr.. Jones
nodded and said: "Thank heavcn!''
Yet Mrs. Highfyer was not pleased with
the assent Musical Herald.
''Anothcr big washout up the street,
said Port j ervis man to a repor. er of
| tne EdzetH. Inc reporter, WIN IL nose
for news, dashed up the street. "Where
is the washout!" he called to man
whom he met. "Thcrc it is" said the
man, pointing to long line of newly
washed clothes gently Tapping in the
breeze.
The Norristown Herald is responsible
for the story that Western man has ap-
piled for pension on the ground that he
was injured by Confederate ram during
the war. The facts are that, while a
sutler in the army, he was violently
butted through rail fence b. an aged
but vigorous male sheep owned by an
officer of the Confederate ar...y.