Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-21
BRIGHT BITS.

SOME ONE boldly asserts that the American
hen ls not doing her duty. You wouldn't have
MS be ieve tn her son is setting, would you?
- YonkerS Statesman.
IT was a charming little lady who the other
day said, on the Boulevard des Itahens. to
italian vender of statuettes, who offered her
an effigy Of the Venus de Milo: "How is it
that Milo makes all his Venuses without
armsg3-LoR6On Globe.
smTH-Thst dog of yours Keeps me awake
Jones-Why. have no dog. 1t must be my
daughter singing.
SMITHS that so? Excuse me I am cor
~. don't suppose she can be shot, eh?-Tbe
J1td0e.
THE little Viscount Of the Chateau-Grendin
gives some particulars of his daily life to
country cousin on whom he desires to make
an mpresson-''In the morning get up,
ring for my valet" what, have you already
got p valet?" No, but l have the bell. -
Fromthe French.
YOUNG GENIUS who has had all the talk to
himself, and as usual, all about himself
well. good by dear Mrs Meltham; it always
does me good to come and see you! had such
a headache when | came, and now I've quite
lost It," Mrs Meltham-"Oh, It's not lost
Ive got it."-PUnch.
PROFEssoR-Mr B., can you tell me with
what faculty we could most easily dispense?
Student-Yes, sir.
Professor-Good! Now speak up loud;
what is 1t?
Student tsoberly)-The college faculty.
R0S6WrV (Mass.) Ad0ocIte.
FRIEND ito saloon keeper)-How's the whis-
ky business old man?
Saloon keeper ly)--FIrst rate;
couldn't be better. I've just got in the finest
lot of tripe and pigs feet you ever tasted. and
two oil paintings that cost me $4,000 apiece
Give the boys plenty of art and pigs feet and
you can catch 'em every, tlme.-ChristiGn
A dUoeate.
-
ance advocate. do YOU know that the liquor
you are about to drink will bite like a serpent
and sting like an adder2'
mo, 1t WON'T" replied the dear friend ad-
dressed, who was a robust tramp. Il only
wish it would, but I've drunk liquor too long
for that. It will go down like so much water"
Boston Globe.
RICHFoRD 5-ysar- went with his older
sister to school one day. The teacher, in the
course of the session. asked him: "Jay, what
town do you live in?" The youngster hung
his head, and the teacher said again. ''Jav,
don't you know what town you live in?" The
little fellow had by this time, probably, be-
come disguised to think that the teacher
didn't know what town that was, so he spoke
up promptly, "Come here!" Then he took
her to window, DO You see that barn over
there? There's a house behind that barn. and
that's where liven'-St. a l6ans Messenger.
YOUNG FEATHERLY was a guest at Sunday
dinner, and was somewhat amused because
Bobby complained of there being no ice cream
for dessert.
THE weather is rather cold for ice cream,
Bobby" he said. "Ice cream is only nice
when the weather is hot"
'You like it in cold weather." grunted
Bobby.
son. no. l don't"
"Wel," said Bobby, as il dismissing the
subject, "all | know is that sister Clara SAYS
ips a cold day when you buy anv. Ma, can't
l have another piece Of pie?"-E1chan0e.
OLD BACHELOR ITO young. mother)-The
baby is rather SIN all OF It's age?
Young Mother (hesitatingly)- rather.
! Ola Bachelor-No teeth yet2
! Young Mother Cfalfernglyl-N-no not yet.
| Old Bacheor-Legs a little bowed?
Young Mother tdoubtfully)-Er-a tribe,
| perhaps.
Old Bacheor-Nose small for the rest of its
! faceY
Young Mother tuncertainly)-Ye-es. but 1t
| will grow.
/ Old Bachelor-Cres most of the time?
Young Mother ldubiouslyl-It cries Il little.
Old Bacheor-Well. If the baby possesses
| all these defects why do you call il the sweet
/ ct, incest. dearest, loveiest and most beau
| tful baby in the world? HUH
| Young Mother (triumphantly)- il
is. So there! You mean old thing.-Neao
| York SIM.