The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1886-02-26
The Brag Farmer.

whole Russian Empire.
He can do more work in a shorter
period of time than any man living.
He can lit more, walk further, and is
getting rich faster than anybody he
is acquainted with; while there are very
few things that he win admit of being
| ignorant of. He belongs to the
ODDS incofrigibles, whom there Is
no convincing.
He walked into the co.untry post
Office, where he was always sure p af
appreciative and attentive audience,
threw his dirty mittens underneath
the red hot stove, turned his back to
it, and began:
Mighty cold weather we're a havin'
now! My thermometer was down to
twenty-four, last night"
AS no one could come within six de-
grees of such extreme cold, not a sound
was heard-except one disbelieving
cough that was half strangled.
Buffers coming up" he said at
length. ''Got twenty-five cents for
what / sold yesterday. But mine was
extra, you know. I've got the name
Of making the best butter in this ere
county, and it always brings the high
est figure Made three hundred and
twenty pound to Acknowledgements and
I'm bound to do better than that,
next. And I've some of the best cows
there is in this section, everybody
says. There amt one farmer in q
dozen that knows a good COW, any
way; and then they don't know how
to feed, for profit.
II suppose / get more off from my
seventy acre farm than most farmers
do from a hundred and twenty acres;
and it's just cause | know how to
manage.
Now, when | bought that farm /
hadn't but leetle to pay down. But
I've worked clear o. debt, got one o.
tie best houses and biggest barn in this
town, and am getting along jest boss.
But tell We, I've got one o. the
smartest women for O wife. She can
cook a splendid mealo v~ittles, and do
q big washin', anu don't get any
outlandish notions in her head, like
some women.
'sChildren all take after me, though.
They list push right ahead and
think they are as good as anybody.
i calculate to do well by 'em too.
Whoever marries my girls will get
something besides plated spoons and
photograph albums. And the boys
amt going to be left by anybody.
Toms colt can leave anything on the
road, now, and he's only a four.year
old: while Jake a saw and put UP
his four cords ofwood alone, any day.
He's got the best SAY / could find
here a-bouts. Tell we what tits, boys,
it don't pay to buy cheap tools to
work with"
A boy came in for his fathers mail.
He had a basket of eggs that had cost
two cents and a-half apiece.
What little eggs" said the brag
farmer. 'My hens lay eggs twice as
large as them. Got the finest lot Of
fowls you ever See. They're halt Ply
mouth Rock. We just have loads Of
eggs, and the oma sold forty dol
lars worth last year-tell We there's a
big profit on poultry. Ye want to
raise early chickens and sell 'em as
soon as they're large enough for bril-
ers. Then, through warn weather,
pack down your eggs and keep EN-
till Christmas and We "a sell little
eggs for a whopping big price,"
"Killed your hogs2' some n asked
in order TO have a change of subject.
"Why, yes! Hadn't you heard how
much they weighed? Biggest pigs ever
fatted in this community,-spring pigs
and they averaged 800 pounds"
sSay, did you ever hear OF Ananias3"
asked a meek looking man with many
patches on his clothes and an equal
number of blotches on his face.
Eyes. of course! Name is familiar.
Seems to me he used to keep our school
when I was a boy"
aShouldn't be surprised" was the
reply. Guess you always passed ex-
animation, didn't yer"
"Of Counsel I always stood head Of
the class, was the confident reply.
Smiles threatened to become ex-
plosive, when the boy with the eggs
piped out:
aDidn't We know that Ananias was
d liar that lived more'n eighteen hum
bred years ago?"
"N-o?n exclaimed the farmer, hest
tatingly. "Well, by COLL, hecouldhave
descendants, couldn't he?" as ne
picked up his scorched mittens and
made a rush for the door, to get aride
home.
"Tell you what it is, boys. there's
such a thing as being too well satisfied
with ones self and ones possessions,
isn't there?"
"Should say So" was the reply.
ssBut he didn't tell it all. He might
have said he was the biggest fool in
town"
aHe'd a lied if he had" said the
small how ..Thara's two or three