The Hawaiian gazette., 1886-12-28

ONCA at CSdUOIu ilG Ol4SI QdN. anu JUST
stepped across thinking there might be some
fun going on. l saw Luning there and he
had another good trick on hand, but not
seeing Heep Savoy = he would not give it
away" will see the Major and you bet
there will be fun when we all meet.
met my friend Foolscap last Friday. and
he looked black at me. | says " Foolscap
what's up? What's the matter ? - Matter
enough says he. The next time l tell
You anything, you'll know 1t :" tried to
quiet him, you know, but lie wouldn't quiet
worth a cent. He said the Grand Duke Just
waltzed round him in q rage and Nosbig
he eoughed and said h-r-r-r-m, and rubbed
his hands together. Oh" says Eoolscap
there's trouble ahead-a Cabinet Council
and l fear 1 will loose my head :" l left
Foolscap-he wouldn't listen to reason.
took run up to Lahaina last week on
the Hall, and met my old friend Lot. he had
been looking round up there and found
things all o, x. l was just in time for Fred's
little party. Lot was there and We had
boss " time. Lot moved The previous
question and We all set to work in earnest,
the table - looked sick " when we got through.
| thought Christmas had broken out two
weeks ahead of time. l tell you Lots
lively boy when there's fun ahead, and Fred
amt much behird-sort of nip-an6-tuck, so
to speak.
intend to be present at the Iuau next
Saturday. have made myself solid . ON
the hooL9pH . biz . and will have one of the
best seats at the table-thanks to Nosbig, who
kindly interested himself in my behalf
the gay old fraud -
had a little chat with my friend Ed
ward" who's Edward . You ask. Why,
Edward is your new Envoy Extraordinary and
Minister Plenipotentiary to Samoa. Neds
an old friend of mine. and as l am up for a
fat job, thought l would just strike him
for the billet Of Secretary of Legation, or
something of that sort-a job With a big
salary and nothing much TO do-that's me
every time. Well, after Ned heard nv yarn,
he told me that the Grand Duke and Nosbig
had fixed all the details, and that my chance
was Poor felt sick again; was luck ever
going 10 turn in my favor Ned told me all
about the affair-how he was going to take
down the " boss baseball player, hand
some kanaka TO show the people, and Rev.
4. hekoa would represent the Hawaiian
Dude. Ned sand they were going to send
down q $500 carriage which would make
their 'eyes stick out, and would give those
foreign consuls there the collie bad. l asked
Ned what was the object of the mission, and
what was the pay? Ned said he carried
sealed orders from Nosblg, which were to
be opened at sea when Diamond Head dis
appeared from his gaze. The pay was good
and the pickings-well, he expected to
scoop" the whole appropriation for this job,
which was going TO add additional lustre to
the Dukedom-if that were possible. The
small stores" would consist of several cases
of ''Starchy Cot" gin. The Board of Gene
alogy viii send down one of their celebrated
pigs to hunt up chiefs bones, etc. Here,
says / is another good chance lost in Poor
way-and my chances for distinguishing my
self are Poor. OH am Poor devil, any
way.
l heard not long ago that the Kahunas, who
had lost their grip on Dole, and were 'mad-
der than wet hens" were going TO turn their
attention to Thurston, and anaaHa him. felt
sorry for Thurston when heard this de7ilish
thing being put up on "the boy'-prime fell
low is Thurston-of course you know him.
Mop Well, he is the young chap who
warmed them up" in the last Legislature
and Checked" old Nosbig so numerically.
| saw him Saturday, and he appeared all right,
but l guess the Kahunas hadn't got started
waiting for the black pig or a white chicken,
perhaps. They say they mean business with
Thurston, and think Nosbig would like to
hear of the boy" being gathered in 1
spoke to Thurston about the dHaaRa. and
asked him If he wasn't afraid. He said "no
if they don't shut on the grub I'm all right,
and viii pull through; bully bow" saws /.
Do you know if it was me, with this impend-
ing danger hanging over my head. would
just curl I'D and = well, l you'd "slide''
for, Frisco on the first boat. No "fooling' in
mine, if you please.
was down at the wharf Friday morning.
and-j1s. as l expected-saw nv friend.
Major de Horsy Cornbin. on the upper deck
OF the steamer. l expected the Major, and
had my trap" on hand to convey him up
IN the Hosli Tho Lu-,r
lovely" up at Maui. and said he had come
down TO have good time during Christmas.
He wanted to know where he could find
Major Heap Sayey and the rest of the
boys" l took him to the Hotel, where ne
found Heap Sayey taking little suthin',"
made light" You ought to have seen these
two valiant warriors-why they we're so
OTerjoyed at seeing each other that they
Just waltzed round for moment and then
Rugged each other. and got SO mixed up that
l couldn't tell which was DE- Horsey and
which was Heap Savey. 1 left.
l was around Friday afternoon. and no.
ticed a few kindred spirits about Seaborn;s
place, and remembering the odd saw"
where you see the flies there You'll find
the moiassCs," so / just stepped in, IN
miscellaneous sort of way. and found the
bOys all there. sampiing;' some of his
Christmas stock. Says /. HulloI where's
L0nlng Oh, hes gone TO kill pig
never mind him-take; "suthin''' You bet
just reached out ana helped myself.
Pretty soon all hands began to think il was
Christmas-I thought 1t was myself-when
my old friend . Mont. entertained the bows
with one OF his poems, entitled 1.-The Dude.r
which brought the house down: all cheered
Mont" and telt sure If he lived long
enough he would make his marx ID the liter
airy world but he's long way of being
LongfeIlow.
1 had long letter from my friend, Gawge.
your financial agent. OF course YOU know
Gawgef Well, GaEge had reached San Fran
cisco all right-teIegraphed Armstrong, ct a.,