Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-06
BRIGHT BITS.

! us this free country?" demanded the
! SOCIALIST, as he raso TO address the assem- bly,
/ =, fe1, slr,' replied voice, ""You are free u
/ leave " II you ddn'tlike it."-Bdston Courier.
GENTbEMAN entering barber shop in hur
| ryJ-l want you to shave me once over; have
| no cup here; dQ,not want my hair trimmed;
] 90 not require q dry SHAMPOO: / want no
! tome on my barr, 6nly litHs pemade; part
/ nv mar on the 1eftFIde-s d. $50 fr
! Barker ttucking a towel under the gentle
mans ni--shave, sir PAt1ddelDhtG G,au.
SHE MIR. Gnbert) and Mr.. Fred CLAY were
! listening TO piece of muse being PLAYED nv
a11ahds Gilbert said il was by Gungl; CLAY
s snd III n tSgy T9t into az FgSment
| wrote IT," "Oh, no you didn't" said ell
| bert you may haye written sonnet hing very
IKE u. bat you dld'nt write this '--B0st0n
IT THREATENs TO COVE TO THIS .Asdb-ed-
itor-Tue cowboy poet has Just arrived in
town. r.a --t.F .rc..
Managing Edttor-Yee, 50 understand.
sub-editor-Shall take any Of his poetry if
Man sing Editor-Not unIcss it is a matter
of life or death; and nv the way. in that case
take as little as possb e.-7Jd- Bits.
A DIFFIDENT MEMBER Of the Kentucky lie -
| tslature Was In process OF being marre'. md
| his best man was a fellow member. When
the preacher came 10 that part, viii Won
take this woman to be your welded wife,"
etc, the victim lost his head and wasn't say
ing word in reply, when his best IN
reached over and said in a loud whisper:
"D-n tt, man, vote aye. Vote ave; what's
the matter with your TsAingtols critic.
ILLUsTRATING AN H.-Teacher-.Iohn-
ME do YOU know the nature Of an oath?
Johnnie-Yes'm 1t Is something that man
gives when he wants to be believed.
Teacher-That's right. ow, let us have it
illustrated. Johnnie, suppo-e your father
should swear to your mother that he would
he at home at l0O'rlock IN The evening. Where
I 4 L.. IA. Nsrg. "a
Jobnnie-In Tim D0ogan's barn DOM .--Ec-
cbtnge.
JUDGE-Wen. sir. what have you to say
for yourself? Did you black McGinty's eve
last night?
Pris1ner-Your honor, It was all a mistake.
had heard of the faith cuFe-"
Iu'ige-There, there Don't get away from
the subject"
is,ner-Wel thought I'd try the laying
on Of hands l may have laid 'em on too hard
I know the experiment was a failure
! Chicdg1 Rambler.
A MAN tptoed into an EDITORS office and
looked furtively about. "Sav," he said to the
editor, get your pencil reafy. I've got big
piece of news " The editor did so. NV
Wlte's Rrandm0ther's annts uncle, who has a
nephew living near Baltimore. says that Mr.
Waters did not pay $4,000 for the peachblow
vase.n
cereal Scott" exclaimed the editor; .,this
i important if true. Do you know how much
re did nav for it!" Observation-Disclosures
nine-hundred - and Observation-Disclosures -
and--nineJy n ine-cents. '-Nei0 York Times.
SOME tenants are very hard 10 get along
with. and unfortunate landlords have tough
time OF 10. The tenants COMPLAIN Of every
little Inconvenience. and are very nerncke
! ty,~Ihere is . house in Jersey CITY at the
corner Of Sixth and Coles street,. The Penn
5ylYanla railroad cars run on tres le- work
track above It. One night freight car fell
on struck the roof OF the house, and went
Hear through the three stories and down INTO
the cellar. To was loaded and IL went off-the
track. Would it be believed that the tenants
eompl ain of mis- sort If thing? They say it
disturbs their s'eep A frei ght car coming
end on down through the ceiling and carrying
he floor With il down intO the cellar annovs
tn m. Those tenants are mighty particular
-Detrou Free Press.
KEEP OUroF DEBT.-fWith the usual intri-
cacIes OF English orthography)-.
A man in debt
No rest viii bt
Until he's IN the TOMB
His cares viii weigh
SO heavy thegh
VIII shroud his life with glomb.
Hen practice guile;
And never smuilC;
His heat with pain will ache;
He'll grieve and sigh
And want to q gh
And thus his troubles shachc.
But owing none
Hen have more fone
Than any king that reigns;
He'll el benign;
His health is ign
And he long life atteigns.
without doubt
An can keep oubt
OF debt 10 only they
Will never buy
L please the Guy
And cash down always pev.
n. Q. D0dye ia Detroit Free Press.