Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1886-10-09

would prOhlDlt the relSu Vi ming
Albohol. The nomination of a minis
ter upon the temperance ticket is as
bad as a rumshop. We never saw or
heard of a preacher for whom we
would vote for any political office I'M
der the sun. Our prohibition senti-
ments are heightened enough to sur
round the pulpits with defenses as lofty
and holy as the New Jerusalem.
Item. We would prohibit the bitter
torrents of denunciatiOn which seem to
be the stock in trade of the majority OF
professional temperance advocates. An
Incorporate tongue seems to be con-
sidered an essential to this species of
oratory. And yet this patent type OF
popular eloquence requires neither
piety nor brains either to appreciate or
produce it-whether the declaimer be
Sam Jones or anybody else.
Item. We would prohibit the rash
importation and imposition upon the
community of brazen bell-wethers,
glib on the tongue, reeking with gutter
fumes, as badly intoxicated with impu-
dence as formerly with rum, and moth
ing else to commend them. Churches
are not consulted, no credentials are
offered, but all are expected to haul
down the gospel ensign and help to
pet and psmper the last scoundrel that
demands social and ecclesiastical recog-
milton. We are getting tired of cele-
brities anyhow. Especially thesstroll-
ing, vagrant Notwithstanding
stars" 1t is full time to call a halt to
morbid Jurors, unhealthy appetites,.
spasmodic hurrahs, and a general CAN
tankerous gullibility.
Item. We would prohibit woman
hood from unsexing herself by noisy
advocacy of this cause or any other.
When the Woman's Christian Temper
ance Union begins to mother woman
suffrage and other such un-feminine
we want no more of it.
Nor can the delicate nerves OF the
Waysider, toned to exquisite ladyhood
iii sisters and mother, stand the female
Evolutionary screech upon the platform.
Ii alcohol cannot be gotten rid OF with
out the sacrifice OF womanly modesty
and the chastity which is certain to
evaporate with that modesty, let alco-
hol stay! We have no hankering after
any more Mrs. Molloysi to teach us a
evangel of temperance senti-
and impurity. A woman
besotted with a passion for publicity
and footlights is worse than q man be-
with whisky. Alas, a female of
that ilk is hard to prohibit. AS we'll
try prohibition on a cyclone. A calico
politician is a moral anarchist.
Item. We would prohibit a viola
ton of Gods holy day by temperance
ultraists, political or otherwise. The
of holding their meetings on
the Sabbath, addressed by Goddess
men, entertained by ludicrous n
dotes, spiced with applause and hila-
riOus demonstrations, no sOlemnity, no
true devotion, just enough of the
Bible and the semblance of religion
in to make it the more revolt
the sacredness of the hallowed
hours butchered-the whole thing
sacrilegeI The churches are beset
with an organized and arrogant pres
to adjourn their worship, close
their doors, join the motley mass
meetings, and lend pious responsibility |
to the Proclamation. Some of them do
it. Those who do not are denounced
as the enemies of temperance. The
pearl of days is cheated out of its high
sanctions and holy duties, and wound
ed like its Lord in the house of pre-
friends. The excuse is plausl-
BILE. The sly politician laughs in his
sleeve. These Sunday-night hullaba-
in the name of a sicklys phiian-
are abominable. Oh for some
sort of double-rectified prohi-
DitiOn to put a stop to all this kind OF
There is sometimes a crooked
ness in modern temperance as we'll as
in whisky.
Wherefore the Waysider is an enthu-
'iastic prohibit1onist of a great many
.hings. He would prohibit the doing
If evil that good may come. Through
he blood OF the everlasting covenant,
lie would with all his soul, prohibit
he poor inebriate's doom in this world
md in the next. He knows that this
is gloriously sufficient for the
salvation Of both the drunkard and the
irunkard- maker. He would prohibit
Ill sights put upon Gods own means
If grace, and the exaltation of temper
lnce societies and other human devices
above the church and her God-given
He would prohibit the
extremes and follies and SINS of tem-
perance workers whose incOnsiderate |
zeal often leads them to do more harm
than good. He would prohibit the
prohibitionist himself ron defeating |
The very object for which he labors.
That's the ticket. And, herewith,
Saline, hold forth a cheer
ing hand, and a wholesome literature
1.-THE Wayslde), and q sound leadership
to her favorite little sister Galloway.
T, p r