The Washington critic., 1886-05-13
GENERAL AND CRIrICULAR.
A Senatorial railroad pass
Although he have mind to
Be quite severe--will make him less
Than first he was inclined to.

BE quite severe--will make him less
Than first he was inclined to.
Congressman Dunn Of Arkansaw thinks
the Record ought to tell the truth. OF
course II ought, but how can 1t, when It only
tells what the Congressman tell itS Go to
the source Of the evil, Brother Dunn.
Congress is trying to get up legislative
contribution to buy a steam launch for the
use OF our legation at Constantlnople.
What's the use Of buying new one9 If
the legation wants TO get away so bad as
that, send the Tallapoosa over after 1t.
A murderer under sentence of death had
number Of influential friends who were
exerting themselves to secure q respite
from the Governor. The sheriff believed in
capital punishment, but he was a charitahly
disposed man and hadbeen doing good deal
of running around for his doomed guest
One morning he returned from such trip
a.d went to the prisoner.
"Wellr" said the man eagerly, swell,
what did the Governor say!n
"My dear sir, he hasn't said anything
lcl. Wuulb tlHlC W
"Good Heavens, man, this suspense is
terrible,n exclaimed the criminal dramati-
cally.
"Don't mention it," responded the sheriff
in cheerful tone, ''it amt anything to
what 1t will be, if.the Governor doesn't in
terfere."
Question for civil-serice (reform) exam
ination candidates: II one United States
Senator or Representative can be bought
with one railroad pass, how many receipted
gas bills signed by the Washington Gas
Company will 1t take to paper the walls of
the Capitol?
II Hug, the burglar, who shot young Coe
at Englewood the other night, escapes, it
will be by tight squeeze.
The Adams family seems fated to be for
ever mixed up in the affairs of the Amerl.
can Nation. David j. Adams is the last one
to throw in baitcd hook.
A man who can speak six languages ad
vertises in New York paper for place a,
| captain Of canal boat He knows how
| great variety Of conversation is necessar,
to make mulepull on an up grade,
Congressman Rockwell says Congress
man Bragg's heart is as cold as "icy wave
on wind-swept shore.n Wait till along IL
the latter part Of the session when the mer
curry registers about 1s47 in the clear, AMI
Mr.. r. will wish he had some of Mr.. b.
| heart to cool his fevered brow with.
'I'ye got my eyes on that hair" said
cross.eyed husband to his wife as she wa
combing out her switch.
"That's what puts the twist In it,n sh
retorted, jerking the comb through It ans
| pulling out q handful of tangles.
Anxious Inquirer: No, dear, "the Ion.
haul and the short haul" 80 frequentl,
mentioned In the Senate Of late has nothin,
to do with the lobby as far as anybody &
| supposed to know. The hall that mean
lobby is spelled in different way.
The editors of New York State are II
town.
Hail Editorial genius, hail
Before thee oil Others pale.
The chair of state, the pulpit gown
Unto thy greatness must bow down;
The old subscriber and the new,
The poet gentle, meek and true,
The naughty advertiser, too
| All these, all these must bend to you.
All men thy proves must confess,
| And women, too, swear by the Press
There is no great or eyether small,
On this our large terrestrial ball,
Which In some way does not lmblbe
The spirit OF the word "subscrlbe.n
| We hail thee In our midst to-day
And do not charge a cent of pay
For this notice
The Philadelphia Protectlonists hav
started paper called The Safe Ballot. Tn
Chicago Anarchists want TO start one calle
The Safe Bullet, but they haven't foun
grounds for plant yet.
The lightning must have struck for eigl
hours this morning.
The whale that swallowed Jonah ma
have had some idea of appointing him Sc.
re,ary OF the Interior. Who knowsP
A correspondent tells OF Washingto
belle whose dresses are worn over vii
frame. And that's wire figure is so muc
better than the other girls,