Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1886-05-13
nNRH Avn rHERE.

I
o. @ u.
We have not seen Lydia Pinkham's por-
raft printed as Miss Folsom's yet. Why
5 this 2--Burlin9ton Free Press.
1t ia terrible hard to be gentle woman
When husband returns letter that he
ias carried in his pocket three weeks
Neto York journal.
Hearts that beat as won are numerous
his week in Macon, as three fashionable
numbering nearly 80 brides
ma DIS, tesiify.-Mdcon Telegraph.
We've Just counted up that we have
saved several hundred dollars by smok-
ing the pipe instead of cigars, but where
is it2-Nescport KY State Journal.
Difident Lover-I know that am
perfect bear in my manner. She-Sheep, |
you mean; bears hug people~you do |
nothing but bleat.-Nelo York Life.
An Iowa cattle grower has dehorned |
1876 cattle with no bad results, and re-
CARDS it great economy. He thinks that
horns do 81 600, 900 damage annually in
Iowa alone.
Creased trowsers are fashionable among
the New York swells. Now il they will
only put the seal of approval on buggy
knees, they can count us in with them
OIeUeldnd Sun.
"There are two things which posi-
bins. Sand what are they ~ asked his
friend. breakfast and dinner" was the
reply.-DGas0iI6 Breeze.
When women write b ooks, nine out of
ten Of them write their own experiences
in the life of their heroine, the tenth one
writes out as the hero the man she loves.
-NesO Orleans Picdyune.
Hostess-And so you are giving up the
literary profession. May / ask whyP
Talented Author-Oh, we'll, you know, it
takes up such lot of time, and besides,
have my living to earn.-Judge.
About go patents are issued to women
every year in the United States. Any
body who will notice what curious con-
trivances the dear creatures put on their
heads and bodies need not be told that
woman is an inventive animal.-B0StOn
Transcript. .-...
Two thousand dollars have been given
| to Princeton College, the interest of
| of the junior class whose father was
become missionary.
Joseph @. Barrett of Newport, Pa. while
working in the woods, hung his vest on q
bush. The woods caught fire, and when
Barrett went for his vest only the buttons
remained. His gold watch lay on the
ground ticking steadily in spite of the
| fire.
In 1884 Charles @. Milne of New
York state went to Texas and secured a
large tract of land. He was killed in one
| of the battles for the states independence,
and now his heirs are wanted to takepos-
session of the land, which is worth about
100000.
The little 2-years. old daughter of
August Kutscher of New Haven played
about the room on Tuesday with sharp
ened slate pencil in her mouth. She fell
and the pencil was driven into her throat,
piercing the jugular vein. She died
almost Immediately. -.....- .....
II have discovered another person to
be placed on the list of those who will
never be missed" observed the Snake
| Editor. "Who is it?" asked the Horse
Editor. THE girl who gets married.
People cease to Miss her then, You
| huons = ttenOUfJ LCFJTulH.
"Are you philanthropist, sir ?" asked
an old gentleman of a young man who
was distributing a quantity of butter
scotch to some little children in Washing
ton Square. sam 1 what ?" said the
young man. "a philanthropist ~ mo,
sir I'm dentist. "-Puck.
Don't scold or curse the man who en-.
ters your office and exasperatingly huns,
"pve Got Him on the List" Harsh
words were never known to effect n re-
form. Draw your snicker-snee and split
him wide open from the sole of his head
to the crown of his feet.-Nta0 York
Weekly.
Barber Ito regular customer Come
in, Mr.. Schmit you vas next. Mr..
Smith-Next? Six ahead of me only.
Barber Gin whisper) dose shentlemans
vas all strangers. We shave strangers in
dhree minutes. Ven you sit down, your
turn comes pooty quvick alretty.-Ne'r
York Times.
Things One Would Rather Have Left
, Unsaid. She-And 30 you are going to
America What line are you going by
He-Well, can't make up my mind
, The Lone Star Line is the most comfort
] able, they say; but then the White Stripe
4 is the safest. She (kindly,-O take the
i most comfortable.
: Not at all singular. there ans
3 plural to deer ?" asked Professor Snort
: of his class in grammar, at the University
t of Texas. 81 think there must be, fo
e there is a plural to beer. You can so,
l. two BEERS I've often heard it, repliet
9 Tom Anjerry. The professor remarked
i that there was nothing singular abou
It that.-1e1as Siftings.
d George B. Higley of Simsbury, Conn.
g recently lost his pocket-book and locke,
in vain for it. That night he dreame,
!. that he had found the book and his spec
II tacles, which as yet he had not missed
l. under tree that he had set out the da
3 before. In the morning he dug up ,th
:. tree and found the missing property.
u Well-meaning Citizen-Now, Pat, 20
q see what disgrace these low politician
II have brought on the city. Why don't yo
70 cast your vote for honest, respectabl,
!; solid menu Now, if Mr.. rutherford Stu
u vesant were put up in your district, woul
Ss you vote for him? Patrick-Stoyyesan
soor? Where does he kape his saloon?-
VI Puck. ... ...... .
as Justice-'iHow's thisg Mr.. and Mr.
k9ithSOu bIouBnh III mere IOF 0Bntln
en- Disgraceful How did it happen ?" NJ
as Simcod-"Well, your honor, we thoug
OF we would have pleasant evening
Up home, and SO we got out the checkerboal
ne and decided to have a little game. when
ll1 Justice (interrupting)-"Ah see. "
IP' are both discharged. l understand.
have been married myself Men 70
Graphic.
- The young women of Washington ha
est, been enjoying Lent very much. Said o
GO of them the other day 81 am doing il
ent as much us during the winter. spe
\ ", tie time taking long walks, dividing
lily the walks with all the men know-li
ted we did the waltzes all winter-and {
o. 81 rest of the time | am with either I
i've dressmaker or the milliner, getting rea
yin my new spring clothes Lent is Just
this lovely as it can be."-N. y. Tribune.
by
this Good Results i'm Every Case.
'ck' d. A. Bradford, wholesale paper dea
of Chattanooga Tenn writes that Ina I