Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-09
BRIGHT BITS.

The author OF IT &c Breadw nners' ha
broken out in the newspapers again. We
fancy he Is getting ready to hold his annual
reunion PhiiGdeiDhid Times.
DUDE-You love me then, Miss Jane?
Jane-Love 10 somewhat too much to say.
AT least | have sympathy for you, because
your face resemD es so much that OF my poor
dead Fdo.-Eechdage.
An amusing story about Mr. II. c. Richards
and Mr.. Herbert Gladstone is going the
rounds. depend ~ on it, ladies and gentle
men, said Mr.. Richards, at the close OF re
cent speech. I'VE should never have heard of
Mr.. Herbert Gladstone If it had not been for
ms father" And 1t Is actually said that Mr..
Richards was unable for some moments to
understand why the audience roared.-The
IldcDsHdeRt.
How he ENTERTAINED HIM-Aurelia tanx-
lou=lyi-HaYe you seen George this evening?
He promised to call.
Bagley- He did call. l entertained him for
an hour before you came down stars.
Aureha-I GU entertained him, pa?
Bagley-1es. gave him n list Of all the
new dresses and gewgaws YOU had last year,
and the cost of each. | never saw a young
man 50 Interested, yet heleft very hurriedly.-
Ptll ldeiphtG cal.
NOTHING TO SAY.-Smith-I say, Brown,
what Id your opinion OF DR.. Pellet as physi
cIan?
brown would rather not say, Smith
may be prejudiced against him, and /
wouldn't like to do the fellow any injustice"
Smlh-Then you have employed him pro-
fessi)nalty2
Brownie. but a rich old aunt of mine
did.
Smth-Cured her. suppose?
Brown-Y es.-NeaO York Sun.
''OH, did you hear of the scandal at cur
church?'
mo, what was it? Has the minister been
dong ANYTHING wrOng2n
"Yes, he has"
''Graclous! You don'ttell me! What is it?"
why, at the Sunday school picnic the
other day he drank HIS lemonade through two
straws, just like those nasty men do N tav-
ems when drinking sherry cObbers and
y Risky sours. Ma, whose first husband was
barkeeper, was perfectly shocked, and gays
she will Withdraw from the church ."-Eo-
change.
THE President of an Arkansas immigration
society has written as follows to the COmte de
Paris: "DEARSIR-I hear that you are about
TO be expelled from France. Now, sir, wish
to call your attention to the fact that we have
on hand several hundred thousand acres of as
fine swamp land as pike ever swan over.
some of the land well tim bered with cypress,
which you must know is valuable. The land
is well watered and each acre con tains enough
fish to pay for the same. II you want any of
this land we will let you have it at reasonable
rates and on comparativelv long time. We are
convinced that you would like this part OF the
country, especially this part Of 10, where frogs
grow to an enormous size. We know that
| you have not been treated rightly in your own
7,
resolutions cOndemnng the French prelence
of republic. A still house 10 located within
| u short distance of the land which we propose
| to sell you.-Ark1nsdO Ird0sler,
THE FIRST BLooM.-That annual pest, the
first cotton bloom of the season." has made
| it's appearance. The planter who gathers the
| first Dloom-and nearly all planters succeed
| in producing It's quite a hero. He takes
| the bloom, wrapped in a piece OF paper bear
| ing his name, to newspaper office. and then
| he tax es 1T to saloon, Then he takes ii to A
! cotton dealer, after which he taxes 1t 20 a sa-
! loon. He meets several friends: "Why, Col
| onel, you've got the first bloom" "Yes,
| pulled 1t this morning. What are you going
! to take?' He goes 10 another newspaper
| office, exhibits his treasure, and then taxes it
| down to a saloon. The fret bloom always
| finds appreciation in a saloon. Many of Its
| warmest admirers cOngregate there about
| lunch time. After awhile The Colonel takes
the bloom to the state mouse. and. lest he
shodld forget 1t, soon takes IL to a saloon. I he
| next morning the bloom, withered and faded
Is found on Il pile of sawdust.-A rkdnsdat
| IrdCeIer.