davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06
How 10 Read an SPACED Paper.

This is very simple matter but
great many people don't know how to
do it. At least three fourths of the
papers now published are 8 and 16
PACED, and it is well to learn the
most convenient way to manipulate
them. We have heard good folks
complaining most grievously of the
'strouble" it gave them to handle an
s page paper. Nevertheless they are
much more convenient to read than
the old fashioned i page paper which
YOU are compelled 20 fo!d into an s
page while reading it. Publishers all
arrange their matter by some system
which will best accommodate their
readers.
The first, fourth, fifth and eighth
pages contain correspondence. editor,
ial, local and sucr matter as their
readers generally want to look over
first. First, unfolding the paper you
glance over the first page. and open
ing the sheet at the middle yon have
pages and with local and edto-
rial matter. What these pages will
not furnish room for will be found
on the 9Th page. These pages are all
scanned without any folding, refold-
ing, doubling or splitting any of the
pages. Next You want TO look at the
literary, miscellany, scientific, agri
cultural, domestic. etc. dep artments;
you open your paper at the middle,
the same as you would a PACED, old
fashioned blanket style Of paper, and
pages 2, 3, 6 and are all before
you, with every department neatly
laid off in place of being scattered
round "hygledy piggledy." "Poo,
poow some will say, teach us how
to read newspaper. something we
have been doing all our lives" That
may all be true. But many clever
person has done simple things for a
lifetime and never learned the easiest
and best way.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06

A gentleman from Dakota tells MS
how the fund WAS started for building
the first Methodist church erected in
Bismarck. The town was young and
was practically in possession of the
gamblers. Faro banks and all sorts of
gambling schemes We're run openly and
without fear. One large gambling
establishment was situated in q huge
tent near the centre of the town, and
thither went the Rev. Mr.. Bull, who
came to Bismarck to establish Method
list church. Mounting q poker table in
the middle of the thickly crowded
tent, Mr.. Bull proceeded to speak for
Christ. At once the busy gamblers laid
down their chips and turned to ieering
the preacher, some of them even pelting
at him with whatever came to hand.
Presently the slender form of Dennis
Hannifan, the boss gambler and feather
weight champion of the place, arose
and moved toward the preacher.
Hold on, boys" said Dennis; "thjs
is no way to treat stranger. Iknow,a
thing worth two O this" At this Den
MS took off his hat and passed it around
among the gamblers, who each put in a
chip. And taking up this strange col
lection Dennis walked up to the table,
dumped the hatful of chips upon it, and
said:
"There you are, stranger; that's for
you"
"But," said the clergyman, "what am
1 to do with it %
"Well, replied Dennis, "its yours,
and you can do what you please with it.
You can cash it OF buck it, just as you
like
"Buck it?" said the holy man; "what
is that?"
"Why, play it in, you know; bet it on
one of the games"
Mr.. Bull preferred to "cash the chips
ill.," so he went to the proprietor of the
place, got $47 for the chips, and with
that sum began the fund which finally
built the Methodist church in which
fiourishing society now worships.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06
Writing Up the Curse of Slang.

"Mamie. said grammar-school girl
to q member of the graduating class,
have you finished your essay ?" "Oh,
yes, "gushed Mlmic, "and it is too lovely
for anything-a Princess slip of white
surah, the back cut off little below
the waist line, and full breadths of silk
gathered in so as to hang gracefully
over the tournure. and three bias ruffles
on the" Why, what are you talking
about:" interrupted her friend. "I
mean have you finished writing your
essay, you know" "Er-no," said
Mamie. her enthusiasm rapidly di-
minishing; "but I have commenced
it. and L wish the awful thing was in
Halifax" whats the subject ?"
"'The Curse of Slang" "Gracious !?
Isn't that difficult subject to write up p"
Difficult? Well, I should giggle. I'll
have to hump myself to get it finished
in time for the commencement, and I've
o good notion to let it slide. might
shut up the Professors optic by plead
ing illness, but I'm not that sort of q
hairpin. But come waltz up into my
room and look at my stunning gradual
ing harness. It'll paralyze YOU"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06
Losing a POstoffice in the Woods,

In the early days of Michigan, when
many of the postoffices were carried in
the hats of the postmasters, postmaster
In Livingston county was out in the
woods one day and lost several letters
from the hat A day or two after
pioneer named Bailey came to his house
and inquired if there was any mail for
him. "There WAS letter for you, Bill,
but I've lost it," was the reply.
"When?" "'Tother day in the woods"
swell, I want that letter!' "But We
can't git it; I'm sorry L lost it, but that's
all can do" "Then I'll have you
removed from office" Look a-here,
Bill Bailey" said the official, as he began
to skin off his coat; 81 was appointed
to hold this postoffice, and I'm bound to
do it; as n private citizen I have no hard
feelings agin you; as postmaster lost a
letter writ to you by your sister in York
State; as q representative of this great
and awful government [ want to say to
you that if I hear two more words of
sass from your throat I'll suppress the
lnsurrection by hanging you to the near
est tree" Mr.. Bailey was, however,
permitted to make hunt in the woods
for his letter, and he found it, and the
lnsurrection was suppressed
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06
fARovHAR VIBRATING SEPARATOR.
IT WORTH Anything ?

To feel absolutely protected against Fever
and Ague, Nlalaral fever. Typhoid fever, Typhus
fever, Gastric fever, Bilious fever, Diphtheria,
Pneumonia. Scarlatina, Summer Complaint
Blood Poisoning, and all and every form of COM
mon disease?
Is it worth anything to be able to etfectualy
cleanse the blood in your entire system, to renew
your youth, and invigorate all the organs of your
body; to permanently cure Costiveness Dyspep-
STA, Water-brash, and sour stomach? To cure
Jaundice and stoppage OF Gall ducts, to cure
Sick-headachc and Bliousness, to cure Liver
complaint and Canccrous liver, to cure Kidney
diseases of long standing? To be free from Govt,
rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatca, and kindred
troubleso
Is it worth anything to enjoy good health, to
have good appetite. and to sleep we'll? If all
these things are worth anything, You can secure
them almost for the ASH ing. We know from long
experience that this statement is true but we
also know that few will accept itas truth. Moth
ing but actual experience in the use of Parsons
Pills could bring perSon 10 realize fully their
marvellous power 10 prevent ard cure disease.
Are not you willing to take our word, to run tho
risk of being swin,!lcd, so Ia speak, out of %
cents, for the pOSStbiiiY of securing such Il great
blessing as we know Parsons Plls would be to
you? If you should once become acquainted
with these Pills, you would lever cease TO be
grateful
Parsons Pills were n wonderful discovery, and
there are none others like them in the world.
The information contained in the wrapper
around each box iswlrth many times the cost of
a box of the Pills. We use the purest drugs to
be found in the known world: but even these be-
fore being used. are subjected to the peculiar
purifying process known only 10 the chemists art.
If families and individuals could only be made to
realize the marvellous l'ower of Parsons Pills
In the prevention and cure of disease and in
promoting the general health n vast amount of
suffering AMI expense might be prevented.
Our business WAS established in 1910, and is the
oldest of the kind in this country. Is it, there
fore. likely that we would put forth an untruth-
full or deceptive statement? Frauds and false
pretenders do not remain long in business in this
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06
Liability of MOnarchs to Insanity,

The liability of monarchs to INSANITY.
probably owing to their loneliness and
to the effect of power in releasing the
will from healthy external compression,
is greater than that of other men, and
is increased i'll Europe by their habit of
intermarriage. Two clans practically
reign in Europe, the Catholic one and
the Protestant one, and in both the
desease has repeatedly broken ont, the
Spanish Hapsburgs in particular con-
stantly showing the predisposition,
which is attributed also, in the form of
melancholia or insane fury of temper,
to the house of Romanoff. It's existence
is often quoted as n final argument
against monarchy, and as absolutism it
is no doubt serious one. 1t is difficult
to see what can be done with an insane
Pope or Gar except kill him. which is
impossible except through q palace
murder such rs has, in Constantinople
and St. Petersburg, once or twice created
vacancy in the throne. AS a rule,
however, some Minister masters the
maniac, and in constitutional monarchies
the argument is not worth much.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06

The census of the French capital shows
a decided falling off. In the Autumn
of 1885 there were nearly $4,000 fewer
inhabitants than four years ago. and
this diminution bears heavily on the cab
and omnibus companies Apparently
the chief absentees are the for eign resi-
dents and the poorer working. class, who
can live cheaper outs dc Ia. city.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1886-08-06

A man in Florida who never reads
the newspapers sent six crates of beans
to New York and realized % cents. How
do we know he doesn't read the news.
papers? Because if lie did he would
have sent his beans to Boston.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02

"MammyW 1t was Lawrence who
spoke and Bernice grew pale at the
rd'ssignifcation. No such thought
hadMpresented itself to the lonely
group. Perhaps our absent one was
busy, too busy to write or-and there
thoughts stopped, Mammy's words
fell like blow. Conversation ceased.
| sought my room. 1t could not be-
Lii was not i'll nor dead! had wait
ed patiently-was this to be the end?
Were two lives to be miserable failures?
Thoselovely eyes were not closed for
aye,
"Don't greeb so, marsa Care" NAM
my was by my chair.
"Oh, nanny, nanny! why did you
say such cruel things" l cried, as l
buried my face in my arms. at
would kill mel"
"Hush, marsa," using her old privi-
lege, laying her hand upon my shoul-
der, "don't carry on So"
"Why did you think oft, mammyw
II dreamed it last night, mars Carl.
l seed her, her lubly curls about her
face, her great eyes ashinin' as she
bent oyer me and told me to come to
her-she needed me. l naked up all
in trembIe, but she was gone," she
sobbed. / felt it was true and two
days later knew it.
Our homes was saddened by the dark
messenger, the Angel Of Death was
felt in our presence;a a message came :;
"Your sister is dead. Died suddenly,
tho i'll for months. Remains were in
tered Saturday. We await directions
as to further proceedings" That was
all then, tho l knew long months be-
fore another heart would grieve as did
mine, were our LII to die.
They say was i'll for months; but
life comes back and resumed my old,
tiresome duties, as I am now, as |
shall eyer be, a weary, worn man.
Two years after Lilian's death. her
missionary friend was married and
she was forgotten by him.
Life will ever remain to me an en-
igma.
Bristol, Tenn.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02

candidate--he is perfect gentleman
because he is my brother. Laugh
teri. have already told him to
come with me and | would furnish
him crowds and introduce him to So
ciety. Laughter]. I want the peo-
pie to understand that if they expect
bitterness and vNgarism in this cam
paign, from me, they will be mistaken.
The man who bears the Republican
banner for Governor of Tennessee /
love as any man loves his brother.
[Applausel. 1t is not the battle of
brothers-it is the conflict OF ideas it
is the great contest Of thoughts; it is
an ejectment suit, and the people of
Tennessee are the court, and my
brother is attorney for the Republi-
can party, and propose to be attor-
ney for the Democratic party, but /
don't believe he can make out case
of ejectment in this State. want
dignifed and open contest l want to
preach the pure principles of the De-
mocracy, and ifDemocracy can'tstand
upon principle, she cannot stand upon
prejudice; and if l cannot be Govern
or of Tennessee upon principle, let me
60 down in the bottom Of the we'll, like
Uncle Remus' 'possum.
/ want to thank the ladies for their
presence here tonight, and want to
say to them that | am their worship
per want to say to them that Eden
was lonesome until God Almighty
took from Adam rib and made wo-
man, and ever since that time, God
bless her, she has been to man min
istering angel to wipe away the tear
OF grief and sorrow, to smooth the
wrinkles from his brow to scatter flow
ers in the pathway OF his life; she is
the embodiment of all that is beauti-
full, in her presence is expressed the
perfection of beauty-it is painted
upon her cheeks in heavenly smiles,
flows in her ringlets, moves in her
step, charms in her voice, throbs in
her breast, and mingles and shines in
the grace OF her love, and I pray she
will use her influence in the political
world in her own way and pleasure to
place her humble servant in the gu
bernatorial chair.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02
Did He swear al the President?

Washington Letter to Baltimore American.
A story is in circulation here that
soou after the rejection of Matthews
Senator Harris, OF Tennessee, went up
to see the President about an appoint
ment in his State which some of his
constituents were intesested in. He
stated his case, and the President re-
piled "Well, it seems to me that you
have a good deal of assurance to come
here asking for an appointment when
you voted against my man Matthews"
The Senator got hot in a second. "Tll
have you know, Mr.. President" he
said, chat it is none Of your business
what | do or not do in the Senate. /
am the master, sir, OF my own actions
there, as you are here. By G., sir ]
didn't come here asking any favors Of
you on any personal grounds. The
people of the State of Tennessee,
whom represent, asked me to do so,
and that is why l came here. You
can do as you d. please, sir, about the
matter; but, sir, l want it distinctly
understood that what l do as a Sena-
tor is beyond your jurisdiction" And
the irate Senator bounced out. He
had voted for Matthews, but the Pres
ident had made him mad, and he did
not choose to make any explanations.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02
The Good Things OfLife.

"That's what call a good dinner" "
remarked Bobby,as he leaned back in
chair with an air Of repletion.
Bobby, said his mother, I'm
ashamed OF you"
The minister, who was dining with
the family, laughed heartily.
"Bobby appreciates the good things
Of life," he said, "like all the rest of
U.S."
"Don't you think it was a good din
ner?" Bobby asked of the minis
ter.
eyes, indeed. | enjoyed it very
much"
"Ma said she thought you would, be
cause she didn't suppose you got very
much at home"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02

The Chattanooga Argus states it
correctly when it says that there is
no hope for the young man who allies
himself with the Republican party,
and that in so doing he pitches head
long into political grave. Young
men naturally look to the future, and
their thoughts are more intent upon
vital questions than in meditating in
political cemeteries. The Republican
party OF to-day is a charnel house or
dead issues. The Democratic party,
while holding fast to the cardinal
doctrines of our political faith and
the fundamental principles OF our
Government, is the party which looks
to honest and practical achievements
| in government. 1t is in fact the only
| political party in this country, csrrect-
| ly speaking, for that which is called
the Republican party is but the organ
lied power of private interests. To
this end it has bent every energy oi
its great power and the whole tenden-
cy of its legislation has been TO subor
dinate the interests Of the many ia
promote the wealth and power o.
the few. The young man of to-day
| who has "set his face toward the
morning" must turn from this defiled
corrupted, idealess and objectless or
! ganization to that which is full OF tht
! living force of great thought and pos
| tive purpose.-American.
The Rev. George 0. Barnes, th'
mountain evangelist of Kentucky
saws that he has made his trip arounC
the world with his wife, son and tw'
daughters entirely on faith. He hat
no plan when he set out but to preael
the gospel, had no invitations iron
abroad, no promises of support, no aC
quaintances even, in the countries h
visited. Yet he made the journey an
wanted for nothing. 1t is said ths
. there is nothing OF the beggar nor til
: dead beat about any ofthe Barnes fan
lily.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02
MIR. TiIden and His Neighbors.

If you wish to hear kind things said
of the dead leader of the democracy,
go and talk to the people of Gramercy
Park. They know the man. He was
not the weazened, churlish creature
clutching his barrel of gold that those
amiable gentlemen, the caricaturists,
were so fond OF picturing, taking a
manly delight in making fun OF his
physical misfortunes. His neighbors
do notremember the brutal caricature,
but they have warm recollection OF
gentle and sunny-tempered old man
who rose superior to racking and cru
.el bodily tortures and presented a
smiling front at all times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02
The Removal Of Squire Ap-
proved

Albany, August 25.-This morning
Gov. Hill gave his decision in the
Squire case. The governor denies the
motion of squire's counsel to reopen
the case and approves the order of the
mayor removing Squire from the Of
fee of commissioner of public works,
No formal opinion giving grounds for
his decision is given out by the gov
ernor at this time although he may
hereafter do so.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02

Will be here with them. That is a
consolation, Carl, 2 raising her eyes to
mine.
clip
And then there was a silence, We
continued our round
"How can you talk so, Lii? Don't
gol shall miss you Stay, for my
sakel I cannot do without you. Lii,
oh, Lii"
She understood me and dropped my
arm. No such thoughts had entered
her head. I felt it, 1 knew it. l had
had spoken and twas without effect,
She took my arm again Her man,
ner was changed.
"Do not appeal to my affections,
Carl" was all she said.
II wish you well, Lillian" my pet
name for her.
"Thank you. And now, good bye. "
Her sweet arms were about my neck,
her soft lips touched mine and l was
alone.
Lawrence was to accompany her to
the depot, she wished it So Life
would be so strangely different.
Lii was going, going The soft
wind whispered as it blew around
the corner; going, the lone bird
mournfully sang from swaying
bough-gone, gone! And my heart
went from me that night.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02
VOL. III.
work ofYears.

The years but make thee falrer, love,
AS by MS they are rolled;
Thy charms are but the rarer love,
Thou never wilt grow old.
Thy brow is but the whittier, love,
As swift the days go by;
And yearly groweth brighter, love,
The sweet light in thy eye.
More delicate carnation, love,
Thy rounded check doth WOO;
And it's no revelation, love,
Thy lips have found more hue.
And wouldst thou know the wherefore, love?
The secrets no surprise,
Yet one that thou wilt care for, love;
My heart is in my eyes.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-09-02
A Marine Monster.

New YORK, Aug, 25.-The dream
OF Jules Verne seems to have been
realized in boat constructed by an
American inventor. The World this
morning gives the following account
Of trial of the boat Yesterday: A
submarine torpedo boat invented by
Prof. J. HI Tuck was yesterday test
ed and proved practical success in
the presence OF a large party of gen.
tlemen interested. They went aboard
the steamer Chance Shot at Eighyt-
sixth street, North River. The sub
marine vessel lay like gigantic turtle
lashed to the steamers side She has
been christened the "Peace-maker."
She was constructed at the yard of G.
H. Delamatre & Co., and is 80 feet
long with breadth of beam OF 81
feet, and depth of71a feet. The bow
and stern taper off from amidships
and the forward end of the vessel is
surmounted by q dome II inches
high, which is set with glass and just
large enough for the pilot to get his
head into. Admission to the boat is
through circular scuttle shaft of the
dome. At the stern there is a propel-
Ter and arudder Of ordinary fashion
and two horizontal rudders with which
the boat may be navigated up or down
The interior is half filled with ma
chinery and mechanical devices, in
Guiding powerful Westinghouse en-
gine. Compressed air is stored in
six-inch pipes running around the in
terror, and arrangements are made by
which air may be supplied by chemi-
calls, A guage registers the depth ol
the vessel beneath the surface. Light
is furnished by an incandescent elec-
trio lamp.
At yesterdays experiment. Capt
Sohn g. Holland and Engineer John
H. Kline slipped down into the iror
hull and fastened the air-tight scuttle
Then the Captains head appeared il
the lookout dome, and the iron fish
started down the river. She had no
gone 100 feet before she dipped hel
nose into the water and gradually sli(
out of sight beneath the ruffed sur
face. Thespectators anxiously watch
ed the spot where she disappeared TO
three minutes, when she reappeareC
about quarter of q mile to leeward
and headed towards them. The Syl
van Glen was coming down the rive
only a few hundred feet above, and he
Captain was much surprised at tn
sudden appearance of the iron mon
ster. He footed his whistle vigorous
| ly and put his. wheel hard apart
i whereat the torpedo boat kicked u
| his heels and again disappeared. TIL
Peace-maker reached depth yesterda
| Of forty feet and attained a fair rate {
speed. The torpedo portion of tn
experiment was not tried. 1t lis desigr
, ed to use two torpedoes attached tt
gether by a chain and fastened to corl
| ed magnets, which will attach then
selves to the iron or steel sheathing {
vessel to be destroyed. They are
be fired hy electricity after the torp'
. do boat has reached a safe distanc
| Prof, Tuck is working on a device b
| which he claims the occupants OF Il
boat will be enabled to leave at dept
e Of forty feet and return again in saf
lty.