Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-12
BRIGHT BITS.

"GISME couple o. tickets fer the show"
said a countryman at the box office.
Yes. sir; for the family circle?"
SSH! warned the conntryman, and then
he whispered: mo, not fer the family circle,
You see I've only been married. bout four
hours, Mister. Jest put US in 'mong the
young folks. "-Ltfe.
"DID ye read the Presidents missage, Patp"
mo. I did not"
s'Sure We ought. He gives good news of
Uncle Nike an his family in ould Ireland"
Does he, thought An what does he say of
thim2"
'sure he says our foreign relations are all
lght."-Chtcd0O Neaos.
WELL, doctor, is there any improvement
In my condition this morning."
Hardly, my Christian friend; am afraid
you'll have to be thinking of the great change.
You do, of course, sometimes consider the
certanty of death.
"Oh. yes, doctor; that thought strikes me
every time you enter the ROOM Yonkers
Gasette.
MRS. BAGLEY lat a family party)-Y gu
have known MIR. Bagley for long time, 1 be-
lieve?
De Bags Known him for the last twenty
years, ma'am.
did he ever tell you that he had been on
the frontier in his YOUTH"
mo. he never did; but Pve often seen him
on the front row when LYDIA Thompson
played here. -PhsiGdelphtd OaU.
WHAT spiteful chance steals unawares
Wherever lovers come,
And trips the nimblest brain and scares
The bravest feeling dumb?
We had one minute at the gate,
Before the others came;
Tomorrow it would be too late,
And whose would be the blame!
/ gazed at her, she glanced at me;
Alas the time sped by;
How warm IL is 70 day." said she;
cit looks Ike rain," said L.
December Century.
81 THOUGHT l saw your brother Abraham
around here yesterday" he observed to old
Moses at the door of his clothing store the
other day.
"Yes, Abraham wasn't in peesness in To-
ledo any more.'
Burned out?'
"No. A fire takes place next door ana
Abraham throws water all oafer his ehtock
und says ii vhas by der dremen."
''And how did they prove it wasn't?"
because it vhas a chemical engine at der
fire. Abraham vhas dunder head who Will
die in poverty WdH Street NeaOs.
APRoPos of domestic wars and rumors of
wars, can tell true story, A husband, who
| is fond of his one little girl, and has been in
| The habit of culUiYaUlng her acquaintance and
| taking an interest in her knowledge when he
| got home In the afternoon, left town for fey
| days. When he got back, he took his pet on
| his knee and proceeded as follows:
do you know how many commandments
| there are, darlingW
"Oh yes, papa; n1ne."
''No. no, dear, there are ten."
"Ah. there used TO be. but nurse says nam
ma hrnke one while you were away."-Nsu
| York Star.
OMAHA MAN-And so you do not like
women customers?
Store Beauty-Oh, YOU mistake. Though q
| woman m yself think there is nothing love
! lier than lovely woman: but would rather
sell goods to men.
"Women are hard to please, chr"
well, women know what they want, and
| we don't always have it "
| ''Ohl that's it, Ell? But what do you dc
| with man in such a case9"
| Nothing"
| "He buys"
"Invariably. Here's your change, sir -
| omaha World
$50 you want my daughter?" quered g
| Chicago capitalist as the young man finished
| his address and stood with folded arms.
| 81 do"
| "Ethel is used to luxury, you knoww
| YES sir, and she shall have all that hear
| can wish"
''But you are apoor young man, just max
| lpg start IN Dakota"
| "Am [? guess not. Our county has issued
| bonds to the amount of 500, 900 for interna
| improvements. / am County Treasurer ano
let all the contracts"
| "Take her, William, and remember that in
tegrity is the keynote to success, "-BoSto,
| RlLJg