The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-06-18
VOL. XXXI----NO. 25.
VARIETIES.

What interjection is of the feminine gen
der? Alas
Many people are busy in the world gath
ering together handful of thorns to sit
upon.
AN exchange says; "Monopolies are
reaching out further with alarming rapidity."
The same may be said of bustles.
Great talents for conversation should be
attended with great polteness. Who eclpses
others, owes them great civilities.
i could never think well of mans in
tellectual or moral character if he was habi-
tually unfaithful to his appointments.
One OF the finest qualities in human be-
ing is that nice sense of delicacy which rem
ders it impossible for him ever to be an intru-
der or bore.
"A tramp, who was driven from house
by an irate party with club, remarked that
such conduct was most ungentlemanly and he
felt very much put out
"A lady writer asked: "Wby don't bache-
Tors marry?" That's so-why don't thew
Come to think about it we have never vet
seen bachelor who was married It's Ia
mentabe, too.
WHO" said IL member of the Canadian
house OF Commons to the members who were
trying Ito choke him off, who brayed
there" at was an echo," retorted mem
Der, amid a yell of delight.
All, me-" she said, after arriving at
home from church, "pm afraid most Of the
women at church this morning heard but lit
tic OF the sermon" "Why not?" INQUIRED
her husband. because most of them spent
the entire time looking at the clothes worn
by other women" How do you know they
did that" why, kept my eyes on them
all through the services" She wondered
why her husband laughed.
Sydney Smith tells of a maid who used
TO boil the eggs very well by her masters
watch; but one day he could not lend it to
her because twas under repairs, so she took
her time from the kitchen clock, and the
eggs came up nearly raw. "Why didn't YOU
take three minutes from the clock, as you do
from the watch, Mary?" "Well, sir, I
thought that would be too much, as the
hands are so much larger
"A well known Bostonian was irving n
horse one day in company with the owner,
a professional jockey. Having driven him
mile or two, the gentleman who noticed that
he pulled pretty hard, requiring constant
watching and a steady rein, said "Do you
think that is just the horse for lady to
drive 7" "Well, sir" answered tine Jockey,
VI must say shouldn't want to marry the
woman that could drive that horse"
-"Oh, Mr.. Smith" said young lady at a
church fair, u want your help for moment"
WI amy icpiieu MI o., WnaL can DO
for you?"
81 have just sold tidy for $15 that cost IS
cents, and | want you to tell me what per
centage that is"
"a transaction of that kind, my dear Miss
b." said Mr.. Smith, who is a lawyer, gets
out of percentage and into larceny"
"A curious flower was recently discovered
on the isthmus of Tehauntepec, Mexico. 1t
has faculty of changing its color during the
day. 1t grows on tree. Another peculiari-
ty of this floral chameleon is that it only
givs out perfume at noontime. One of the
srangest things about this flower, however,
is that 1t should be found in Mexico when its
colors are those of the United States flag
In the morning it is white, at noon it changes
to red, and at night it adopts soft blue
color. Ill .,....- ........'. ...
live been digging over my garden" said
Brown, land I'm all worn out" "Ahp re-
marked Fogg, "a new variety of earthen
wear, ell ?" Henderson, who was present,
thought It was mighty good joke, and see
ing Smith short time afterwards, ofcourse he
had to tell ii. II say, Smith," said he, "Fogg
just got off neat thing. Brown was saying
that he was all worn out digging in his gar
den and Fogg asked him ifthat wasn't a new
kind of crockery ware. What do you think
of that?" II don't see the point" "Darned
II do either, now but thought did when
Fogg told it," ....