Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1886-07-23
VOL. 4. NO.7
LIGHTS IND SHADOWS.
A sPLENDID oRoP.

LIGHTS IND SHADOWS.
SPLENDID CROP.
"You don't seem to be very badly discouraged -
said member Of the Chicago board of trade to
Bismarck citizen who was visiting the speculator
of the garden city. II was of the opinion that
when met you you would be down hearted and
morose over the failure of the crops. By the
way, how is the crop in your locality?.
BEST in the worldr' exclaimed the happy Bis
marcker. Couldn't be better! Beyond all e1-
pectationsr'
''That's surprising We've been told here that
wheat was failure in Dakota this year."
"Oh, oh! you refer to wheat. The fact is, there
isn't much wheat, but we've got the finest crop OF
railroads ever grown on earth Yes SIR, ne hnest
learned that they've discovered two more roads to
the acre since left home. The last time saw my
farm the surveyors were planting at least three
over s onto It the ' banks Of the creek to Keep en-
from running their blamed seeders bang through
the parlor." as -.a 81. .,-
.. THE VIRTUE OF WAITING. ~,
The reporter called upon member of the cleo
trio light company and inquired as to the pros
peot for lighting the city at an early date,
"You must remember said the scribe, that
your company has been waiting some time now,
and the people are becoming anxious. They want
the light
THE lights will be put in, never fear quoth
the magnate, with wise and impressive scowi,
''but we are waiting for developments
''Oh, yes, Developments; what devel9pments:
"Well, in prices for material and hxtures.
Why, sir, we've made $4,000 in prices by waiting
rhsts pretty good At that rate enX you 2 will will
will wait 3 quarter of century you will be mil
In the meantime the people can carry lanterns
and practice economy.
... AS SUMMER RESORT.
1t was during the hottest of the hot spell, when
the air seemed in flames and the very river sizzled
and sputtered in the heat The tenderfoot had
just stepped off the train, and with languld and
faraway expression he ambled up the street in
search of shade. The sweat rushed down his fe-
verish face in scalding rivulets and his dirty ul-
ster chung to him like dampened rag. He had
left the east to rest meath the cooling balm OF the
chinook. He came to a latitude for summer re-
sorts. Ed Sloan espied the suffering tenderfoot,
and desiring to make it interesting for him,
started to meet him, hating at clothing store to
procure buffalo overcoat, q fur cap and pair
of heavy yarn mittens. Donning these guardians
against the cold, he hurried on to where the ten
derfoot was purchasing fan.
Good afternoon, stranger; you pear to be suf-
fering from fever a little today drawled the
truthful Sloan, as he swung his arms about his
body and clapped his hands to keep them warm.
The paralyzed tenderfoot dropped his fan and
satchel, gazed at the buffalo coat, and sank back
against the side of the building, speechless.
Whats ther matter with yer?' queried Sloan;
You don't seem to be enjoyin' this northern ci-
mate in yer southern clothes. Why don't
yer -"
''Wh-wh-why, my dear sir" broke in the tender
foot, having regained his breath and recovered
from the shock which the sight of Sloan had
given him, why, sir, you don't mean to tell me
that you feel cold, do you? I should think you
would roast to death in those horrible furs?"
Roast! roast y" cried Sloan. my deae sir
you don't know anything about this climate or
you wouldn't be trottin' AROUND here with linen
duster and q fan. Furthermore, would advise
you to get off the street the people will think
yer crazy. You'll be sent to the jamestown asy-
lum in less'n four hours if yer wander round
here with these summer togs on, unless yer freeze
to death before yer arrested And here Sloan
pulled the collar of his buffalo about his neck,
shuddered and stamped his feet upon the side
walk as if suffering from the cold.
my dear sir, know that it is warm, and you
can't make me believe -"
But before the stranger could finish his SEN
tence Joe Little came around the corner wearing
his seal skin coat and invited Sloan in to take
something to warm him up, remarking that it
looked as though there would be a snow storm
before evening.
what time does the train go east?" inquired
the poor dumbfounded tenderfoot as the thermo-
meter crept up to los in the shade.
1T leaves at five O'Clock in the evening, sir, "
said the truthful Sloan, 'but she is four hours
late to-day on account of snow drifts five miles
west. I reckon there'n be more heavy snow
falls before she comes in"
At this the tenderfoot fell back and pinched
himself to see if he was dreaming while Sloan and
Little talked loud and excitedly about the man
that froze to death near Wogansport that day and
wondered if the stage from Yates would come
through the snowdrifts safely.
"Gen-tle-men, gen-tle-mcn," gasped the
stranger as the streams of perspiration flowed
into hin eyes and down his neck, 'am I mad, or
dreaming, what?"
'All three. my friend, all three" calculated
daster and and % When
ice is forming on the ponds, is mad, dreaming
and what in the same breath"
The tenOerIOOC was dDOuU 10 pleau lor HerCy.
He was now convinced that the men were crazy
or he was raving maniac. But just as he opened
his mouth to speak George Thomas came jogging
around the corner in his toboggan suit, and re-.
ported that while sliding the ice at capitol hill
he froze his ears. lie asked the boys in to take
something to thaw them out. Sloan wiped the
ice salt crystalsl from his mustache and to prove
that it was cold asked the tenderfoot to look at
the frost on the frosted glass at GriHn's saloon.
The tenderfoot was now too weak for speech and
taking his pencil from his pocket wrote, with
trembling hand, the following note:
Dear Friends: I am man of good heart. I
never intentially wronged western man, and
trust that you will treat me kindly. cannot be
with you long. Take me to the nearest doctor
write to my wife, and tell her still am true
that she misiudged me when she drove me from
my home--and If I die. dear friends. send my
corpse to Mrs. Charles w Dudeson, 2S0 Chestnut
street. Philadelphia. Good bye. dear friends
good bye. Charles W. Dudeson."
The note was handed to Sloan, and the boys
carried the tenderfoot to DR.. Porter's Office,
where he was wrapped in buffalo robes, covered
with blankets, and given warming pan for his
feet. When last heard from he was melting rap.
idly, weeping bitterly and wondering why his
wife persisted in singing the Mikado and driving
h;r, mod opd iii actad from his homa to wear