Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-10
BRIGHT BITS.

PIoUs LANDLADY-Wlll you ask blessing,
Mr.. Goodliver?
Mr.. Goodiver tglancing around the table
WIN Il critical eyel-G would like TO know
what forg-B st0as Ucu7ier.
Now fierce December's wintry chill
Doth freeze the rich and poor;
ana heavens richest blessings fall
On him who shuts the door.
-WaShtngton Critic.
IF woman desire, she can boldly fire
A revolver in a fray.
But she cannot COCK it in her pistol pocket
Because she amt built that way.
-Rdht0ay A dUocdte.
SCIENTIFIC WRITER tells how water can
be boiled in a sheet Of writing paper. We
don't doubt it, We have known man to
that kept him in hot water for three years.
Burdette.
DOES your husband believe in Socialism,
Mrs. Crap" asked Mrs. Tattle.
No. should say he didn't. Why, if you'll
Delleve me, can hardly get him TO come into
the parlor when any of the neighbors CALL
NeU Haren Neoos.
ing school. An old teacher of the girl met the
father and asked: "Is your daughter making
progress in her school wors ?' II should judge
she u.s." replied the fond father. "Why, she
has one grammar that cost $1l."-BufGIo ED-
press.
A coLoRED MAN was leaning against the
Central Butchers Market Yesterday, having
on his mead a straw hat which exhibited signs
OF age, when pedestrian asked: Isn't your
head cold with that hat On2" Powerful
cold, sab" was the prompt reply, but can't
afford sealskin afore mex summer. "-DetrOit
Free Press.
TERRIBLE THREAT-Mother-No Ber-
tie, it's very wrong in you to disobey me as
you do.
Bertie-Yes'm.
Mother-Pm afraid / shall have to adopt
strict measures with you. The very next
time you don't mind you will have to go to
ped barefoot-Judge.
SAM JONES, when in Omaha, asked any an
present who had never spoken a cross word
to his wife to stand up. A round-faced good
natured individual, with a beard, stood up.
THANK God, there is one man who never said
a cross word to his wife," said Rev. SAM
I'm bachelorP' shouted this round faced
man.-O1 Citv Blissard.
MAMMA" SAID Sixteenth street girl to
her mother, 81 notice that man In the Alder
man McQuade trial in New FORK has been ar
rested for 'embracery.' What's that?"
REALLY, daughter, | can't say. but / sup
pose one of those Doodle Aldermen has been
hugging a girl. They are bad enough to do
anything. p Washington Critic.
BoAsTFUL EEGLIsHMAN-When 1 was at
home in England, sir, lived in a handsome
stone mansion, was waited on by we'll paid
| servants. and was in the service of the gov
eminent
Practical Amerean-Well, now you don't
look like man that has been in jail. You'll
have to be pretty careful over here.-LoaceLl
| Citisen.
THEY tell true story of a member of the
Cambridge Common Council who was puz-
Zled on the first evening of his official service
by succession of measures which came down
from the other branch and were hurried
through in the usual routine manner Tin con-
currence." The Councilman voted faithfully
each time. but after the session was over he
went to the City Clerk and asked him: "Mr
-, who is this Mr.. Concurrence that have
been voting for all the eveningP-B0ston
Journal.
WE hear of gentleman in this city whose
official duties call upon him to send many
kilograms to which, of course. he aft xes his
name and official title. A few days since he
had occasion to send a telegram to his wife
who was out of the city at the time, and in
the haste of writing the dispatch he affixed
A reply was in due season received from his
wife, VINO added to her name, very appro-
priately, assistant superintendent VII
| Dain0tOn Re0ieao.
FEW evenings ago a fine-looking. we'll
dressed negro, as black as black can be, en-
| tered drug store and inquired semi conf =
dentlally OF the clerk: do you keep lamp
black?'
IL can give you some," was the reply; show
much do you want2'
"Well, you see, sah-ah-is it very nice?
would like little, sab, in a pretty boX-like
| these" pointing at boxes containing toilet
| articles in the Showcases.
wv ell y SAID the clerk, obviously, II dunno:
| what do you want il for?"
For de toilet, sab; for my wife-she pow
dahs, sah"-Ba9dt2 EepreSS.