The National tribune., 1886-04-15
TRIBUNETS.
Called from the Fall Vintage of Cbe,tnuts

CHiied from the Fall Vintage of Chestnuts.
There was considerable hustle in the New York
Custom-house the other day when o. yards OF lacs
were found on lady.
Our English contemporaries are getting the In
FAINT Duchesses mixed up. They should remember
that the six-year-o'd daughterof the Duke of Cum
beFland is named Maria Louisa Victoria Carolina
Amelia Alexandra augusta Frederick. II Is WRONG,
TO eoniound her with cousin, Frederick Augusta
Alexandra Amelia Carolina Victoria Louisa: or
hcrsecond cousin, Augusta Frederick Amelia Alex
andra Carolina Louisa Victoria
1t is said that an upper current Is always blowing
contrary to the trade winds. This explains the
tariff discussions o. the past three years.
sunday-schooIs were first established in England
in 1854. Poker lourished in Persia b. c. g9s.
Some one adver;isss in a daily paper for three
harmonica players 10 join the advertising party in
forming quartet. We Americans are a long
suffering and patient people, but the lire must be
drawn somewhere. a quartet of harmonious!
Great Cesar's ghost,
by friend" said the conscientious preacher 70
the biear-eyed man with blossom on his noss.
why don't you reform and join the church. and
become 4 capable and upright c:tizen?"
Wei, kunnel,' said the man; Bob Ingersu
SEE there's lots O. rum an religiu in the wori an
ez Bobs made SIGH po' play 1T Their latter reckin
And he went OF singing
" Leaves hez their times TO fail, an so he'll;
The reason that we falls IS cause we both is dry
The only difrunce twixt the leaves an me-
Is falls harder an more freluentlee"
Charles Sumner once wrote in an album during
slavery times, "A Queen on the scafold IS Lot a
more pitifai sight than q woman on the auction
block" This IS respectfully commended to Door
but proud mothers with manageable daughters.
wealthy Massachusetts, mill owner was pre-
scented by his wife with n I0-pognd heir last week
and his workmen Immediately boy-cotted him
They presented him with rosewood crib Dia-
grams Of this sent on application.
gentleman who came over the Cumberland
Valley Railroad some years ago on train to which
was attached a special car occupied by Gen. Grant
who then President tells an interesting arec-
dote. There was 10 smoking car attached TO the
train and the gentleman was standjrc- on e Me-.
form desperately smoking a cigar he lad bought at
n wGy station. lie noticed the President OCCASION
ally looking that way and finally a railroad official
came out and said the General had run out Of
cigars; that he had been envyinqs the man on tie
platform, and had at last begged the official to 90
oGt and see if the smoker had any more cigars
Inc gentleman was only too happy-iirst, 20
commodate the President OF the United States, and
second. to get rid Of one Ofthe cigars that was
ever rolled. with this warning he sent in his re-
manning cigar. The General acknowledged the
courtesy by hFtng his hat ana biting the end ofof
the weed, lighted it, and looked happy. lie had
queer. The man on the platform watched him
with renewed interest. He saw him remove the
cigar from his mouth and look thougIlfulIy first al
one cad and then at the other. Then lie put it
back and took another pull Then he removed il
turned it in his hand and looked carefully over il
again. Then he snleiied 1t. Then he couglad
gently and looked al the man the platform who
gazing iEnoeently or the fields at that moment
Then he looked OUT of the window as if 10 see
where he might throw il without iujIring anybody
He changed his mind, though sighed took CIes-
perate grip on the stOgy with his teeth and pulled
away at it like martyr. When the train stopped
he asked the gentleman where ne got that cigar
The gentleman had forgotten the name of the
station.
If knew its name I'd have Marshall Jewell
change ii, said Grant.
The gentleman did not learn what title the Gen.
eral would have changed 1t to.
All motions take place in conformity with certain
principles, and forces acting upon bodies may pro-
duce either rest motion. Young Mr.. GreatharE
is personally familiar with these truths Proser-
pines papa wears a No. II.
Mister" said the tramp - Kin YOU assist Door
homeless waEderer in search Of work ?''
The gentleman pr0tfSTed the mendioant a dina.
He shook his head sadly
Not tilat," he said not that. I'm Egin silver.
Ne an the Preserden' S.als or falls tergelhsr"
And he skunk off into the darkness.
Green Morris has named one of his colts Compre-
hcnsion. That is bad name for flyer. so many
things pass comprehension, you know.
An ingenious Vrginiau wants to erect lanlp-posts
along the Ohio River and its tributaries 10 guide
the mariner his nocturnal voyages with natural
gas. What good viii lamp-posts be where nobody
could lean up against thein saturday nights ex-
cept moslzetO5?
They had discussed Plato and Tom Paine Charlie
unange and DelSarte. and then he made remark
about the Seattle riots:
DO YOU know you remind me of the Chinese ,"
she cooed looking at the Clock
"Ah, indeed,' nc replied; bows that"
Because" answered Rosetta, because you
went 60"
He seemed hErs when lie called for q hot scotch
at WOrmey's 10 minutes later.
Our fathers rose with the lark" sings poet.
True enough. Their sons however, stay cat with
him all night nowadays.
Lieut.. Mason S'hufelit tells of the Madagascar
woman whose costume consists Of three strtaks Of
red paint and a none through her nose. the
Madagascar woman Is very ike prophet She
has NOS much on 'er il isr own country.
JoEa Henderson was killed in Pennsylvania las.
week while foOliuS with UnlOls!sst gun. In
loaded guns anu eOal-oi cans the fool killers
cherished weapons.