Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-02-26
BRIGHT BITS.

return bill collectors caH.-BOston Courier.
sLEIGHINo is something like card playing.
The enjoyment is great when you hold
beautiful hand.-BostoR Courier.
WHENEVER you see lady with very tall
hat In the theatre you see woman who does
not read the papers. If she did she would not
wear the tall hat.--PhiladelphfG CAL.
A NEBRASKA TOWN boasts of having a cow
with bark like dogs. All we have to say
to this is that when the old COW dies they
should tan her hide with that bark.-LOloeU
Citisen.
"a 81 for me. hope to be cremated."
made that remark TO nv pastor once, who
said, with what he seemed to think was an
Impressive manner; II wouldn't worry about
that If | had your chances. - Marx Taoain.
~ WOULD like YOU to help me a little, said
a vagrant, poking his head INTO country
shop.
why don't you help Yourself" asked the
proprietor.
"Thank you, WILL" said the tramp. pick
ing up bottle of pickles and two loaves of
bread, and then vanishing. lid Bis.
TALK of Sir Walter Raleigh, of Chevalier
Bayard, and of the soft toned knights of the
FIELD of the Cloth of Gold There's a fellow
up in Petoskey, who, being upset while sleigh
riding. lay. upon the snow and said to his
sure enough girl: ''Sit on me. dear, and draw
your feet out of the snow" Age OF chIvary
dead !-Detrl 10 Tribune
"RUFUs, wuz yer to de chuch dis mornin'?'
Oars iis' whar l wuz, Glenn"
81 hope ye' drawed in much profit rom de
sarvice. Rufus"
Az hat yo' mean. sab? JUS yo' take notice,
Mr., Glenn, dat wen we plays keards in de
Quiah durin' sarbice we JUS plays fo' muse
ment. an muffin o'.'-Terds SiJtin0s.
IN SEEKING to round out his career, Mr..
Gladstone is still target for the London lam
pOOnists. One of them thus rhymes about
him:
Into power he comes the third time
With projects so dark and so sinister,
That no longer we call him the Prime,
But rather the Past-hls Prime Minister.
LITTLE SAN RANDALL, the son OF Big sam.
| tries to play the politician already, and last
| year he got boy an appointment as a page
| by urging his claims before Doorb eeper Win
tersmlth. When he was given the commits
| sion he came back 70 the boy, and IN tones of
| his father, said: There, my man, you are all
right. I've fixed you.''-AinneaDott Tribune.
WHEAT TINE did you get home from the
club last night. Bromley"
AT in themorning "
! awakening your wife, no doubt?n
YES, Darringer. That's my usual luck,
you know"
what did YOU say to herr"
II didn't say anything. There wasn't any,
| thing left to say after she was through
WHAT is your name?" asked the Sheriff
of an old negro who had come in 10 pay his
! taxes.
Jim Fry, sab. fodder o. de late Mr.. Fry"
I
"He amt dead. de late Mr.. FRY amt"
"rhen how can he be the late Mr.. Frg2"
&C ase he's neber on Ume-allus late. sab.
ArkaBSosO TrGUeIer.
THE EDITOR was reused. like the sailor boy,
| from slumbers Of midnight last Friday night
| by sounds which seemed to come from a lot of
| cows that had broken into his front yard and
/ were lowing to get out. On going out TO re-
lease them. what was his surprise and pleas
| ure to find bevy of beautiful young ladies
| M T n fu1 ~,
! the midst of the grand old song. sSweet By-
| and BY ~ BHrRst (Tes.) Bulletin
"SPEkKING or HOTELS" said whitegoods.
shows the old Paragon house down at Ell
mingtong Tn gon down there next week. -
| "she's a daisy." replied No ions; 'best house
| in that county by all odds"
at used TO be a pretty hard old tavern"
"Yes, know two or three wears ago. Bat
1 it's wonderfully improved now"
| ''Yes|
"Oh, yes; burned to the ground in Deem
Der. TOta loss; no insurance. "-Bro0kIvb
Eagle.
MRS. DusENBERRY-The ladies are starting
/ anti-plumage leagues all over the country.
Now, as ] am a human woman
! Mr.. Dusenberry-I don't take any interest
in the project. IL is too trifing In its ecOnomi-
| cal aspect. | could suggest an anti-league OF
great magnitude. and I'd like to see all the
"Ah! what kind of a league is it?"
| IAN anti-sealskin league. The scala have
| rs much Flgnt 10 i've as Tue DlFuss ana there
| is ten times more money squandered for
| them. - hilddelDhf9 call
AsMiLL SOMEEvILLy BOY goes frequently
| to q neighbours house to buy fresh eggs. He
| is always given eggs of the Plymouth Rock
| variety, which have a smell Of chocolate hue
On the last occasion that he was sent after
eggs three of the ordinary white -shelled vsri.
I ety were given him with the Ply
mouth Rocks to make out the dozen. He re-
/ ceved them with great deal Of suspicion,
! and a few moments later rushed into the prea
| ence OF his uother, highly excited.
"Oh. mother" he cried. what do you thinks
| They've cheated US; they've given us three
! that Amt ripe. "-B0st0n record.