The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-01-20
THAT SAUSAGE.
The Troubles u I.ady's Git Caused
Ciergynnu

clergyman in Southern State was on
his way to preach funeral sermon. As lie
was passing the house of n widow lady,
member of his congregation, she ran out
and stopped him, saying, as they had just
slaughtered their hogs, she had put up a
few pounds of sausage as q present, adding
that, as she had put it in double paper
packets, she thought it would not soil his
clothes. He thanked her earnestly for her
kindness, and rode on, having put the par.
eel in his pocket
All the time he was officiating at the
grave large, half-starved hound kept snuff.
ing around him, sometimes approaching
alarmingly near, attracted by the scent of
the fresh meat. As the deceased was man
OF some prominence, there was a consider
able crowd collected, and great mourning
and lamentation came from the family
groups so no one paid any attention to the
movements of the animal, but all noticed
with concorn-for he was beloved by his
congregation the great pallor of the clergy
man, and the beads of perspiration standing
upon his brow, and they began to whisper
to each other that Mr.. II. must be ill.
After the interment they all proceeded to
the church, where the funeral sermon was
to be preached. Just before entering, Mr..
H turned round to ascertain the
whereabouts of his tormentor, when 10 !
there he was, not far from him, but the
crowd prevented him from approaching too
closely Just at this moment some one gave
the poor creature cruel kick, which sent
him off bowling. When the minister reach
ed his pulpit-one of those old-fashioned
affairs assembled by short, steep fight OF
steps-he breathed more freely. He was
just about to commence his duties when the
sexton, good old man, came noiselessly
up the steps with a slip of paper in his
hand, which he wished to give to the minis
ter, but who was unnoticed by that gentle
man, though seen by all the congregation.
He gently twitched his coat to attract his
attention. A thrill of horror passed over
the unhappy preacher at the dreadful
thought that the dog Ind entered unseen in
the crowd, and was now about to take forei-
BILE possession of the sausage before the
whole assembly So hoping to drive him
away, he kicked back cautiously but vigor.
ously, and struck the old man in the breast,
who rolled down the steps,
Seeing the look of surprise and alarm on
the faces of the audience he stammered out,
with crimson face /" must explain TO You,
my brethren, what must seem my nntem-
perate conduct. A friend came out to me,
as was passing her house, with small
package of sausage for me to carry home in
my pocket; but ever since | dismounted
from my horse this old dog pointing be-
hind 10 the PROSTATE sexton, but without
looking round" has been following me,
and at length came into the pulpit and has
been Juggling at my coat, determined to gel
the sausage from my pocket.
At this moment the exson, n little stun
ned and little hurt, arose from the floor,
and the minister at glance took it all i'll,
stared wildly nj him, took drink of water,
turned very pale, and sat down, oyerwhelm.
ed with CONSERVATION. = Editors Drarer,
in R1ypef's Magazine.