The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1886-01-21
ssDOn't,"

1t has been many years. since Punch
delivered the oracular bit of advice "to
young people who are about to get
married." which it summarized in the
one cautious, emphatic and peremptory
word, "Don't" And perhaps no single
piece of advice that was ever given has
been so often and so earnestly quoted, or
has been so persisteutly disregarded. In
slightly modified form, there is no doubt
that Punch's counsel embodies a vast
deal of prudence and wisdom, and that
it should commend itself 10 the matri.
monially inclined. The reason why it
fails to be accepted in so overwhelming
q majority of cases, therefore, must be an
unusually strong reason, and one deeply
rooted in human nature. Herein lies
the difficulty. It is no doubt safer and
better to bear the ills we have than fly
to others that we know not Of but there
is spirit in man, and in woman, espec-
tally in young men and young women,
which irresistibly impels them to hope
for better things than the things they
have: and no ills ever seem so certain Or
so uncomfortable as the ills from which
they chance to suffer at any given time.
The loving mother who once enjoined
her daughter never to get married, WAS
promptly met by the arg~mentum ad
mulierem of the daughters own existence,
which argument, it must be conceded,
was conclusive to the daughters mind.
And when that perverse young woman
was furth .r reminded that the mother
spoke from experience, what more natural,
as We say, than that the daughter should
entertain and express desire to encoun-
ter like ills in order to qualify herself, by
like experience, to give like counsel at
some future day. Thus it goes, from
generation to generation and thus it
happens that mankind and womankind
make so slow advance towards state of
perfect wisdom-because the knowledge
we so painfully acquire in lifetime dies
with US, and those who come after us
must needs begin the spelling book at q,
b, c, and will insist upon regarding the
story of the boy up the apple tree, Of
the OK that was gored, of old dog Tray,
and exc of the sanguine milkmaid, as
but so many cunningly devised and
inconsequential fables.
And yet Punch was more than half
right. With a slight qualification, the
best advice to give to young people who
are about to get married is "D0n't," and
disqualification may be briefly expressed
in the one word "unless." The formula
then becomes "Don't-unless," and in
this shape it is the very best sdvice that
can possibly be offered and accepted
under the circumstances.
Love is we'll enough as motive for
marriage, and there should be, as there
can be in truth, no marriage without it.
But that they love each other, however
fondly Or foo!ishly, is not sufficient
reason why two young people should
haste to be married. For it must not be
forgotten that Cupid has wants as we'll as
wings that beatitude and bacon, happi.
ness aud hon,iny, 60 hand in hand and
that there are few thingNnore conducive
to the development and persistence of
exalted sentiments than the gentle infu-
ences of coal fire, with the knowledge
that the hod is full behind the door, and
a strong reserve in the cellar.
1t is easy to say, before marriage, that
these things are of the world, worldly,
aud are not worthy to be considered in
comparison with the mere happiness Of
being and abiding with him or her, as
the case may be. But, fortunately or
unfortunately, we live in a material
world; lovers are not spirits, and after
marriage, if not before, they must eat
aud drink and dress like other people, or
suffer because they cannot. Love has
wings as we'll as wants, and there is an
old saying that when poverty comes in at
the door with its train of trials and
privations, we become aware of certain
bright pinions auttering at the easement,
and the danger is that, ere we are
aware, the gentlo guest who has dwell,
with us awhile may take his flight, never
to return.
1t is not wise to incur so great risk
1t is better to pause
beforehand and count the cost of even
wedding; better not to get married at all,
than to marry in haste and repent at
leisure; better 10 wait than to wish,
when too late, that you had walled. 1t
is better, far better, dear young friends.
to go on loving truly and faithfully, and
madly if so be, than TO marry without
reason and without prudence, and cease
loving forever after.
If you will not consider these things
before marriage, depend upon it you will
be compelled to consider them after mar
riage. Recklessness in regard to any
important step in life never yet precluded
reflection and regret, when that step has
been desperately or impatiently and
unwisely taken. Be sure your folly will
find you out, and, if you are young
man, don't begin life with the dearest
woman on earth by placing her in
position which will inevitably entail
disappointment and, perhaps, misery
upon her for your selfish sake II you
are young woman, on the other hand,
it is not necessary to lose your head
merely because YOU have lost your heart.