Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-20
CHEAP.

Someone asks: ''Is there @ field for man who can live on fifty cents week.? There is It is called the Potter's feld.-Norris- town Herald.
 California has produced 8 seventeen-inch onion. We hope this esculent will not be come popular. The man who eats a two inch onion can now disperse crowd without any trouble.
 Scene, front door. Time, 12 o'clock Sun- day night. She-fSay, George, when are you coming again?' He-"Oh, I'll be here Monday night" She-SSay, George, can't you come before Mondaya'
 In recent burst of confidence, ,young Bens edict said there was one thing about hir wife that he didn't like. When pressed for an explanation, he replied that it was her mother.-Boston Transcript.
 The Lewiston (Me.) Journal hears of ped dler who has been selling cards marked 'Ici on parle Francais" to the Maine rustics, and persuading them that it is the original Latin text for ''God bless our home."
 Cause and Effect. ''How did it happen that the church was so crowded to day?"
 "Well, I'll tell you. You see the professor of theology preached and on his account all the students came on their account all the girls, on their account all the young men, on their account all the widows, and on theirs all the widowers.-Chisago Sunday Evening Herald.
 "There's something inexplicable about the mental makeup of a woman, replied Fogg to a female acquaintance. "There's that Mrs Smith, for example. She's utterly un- able to handle horse, and yet she drives her husband around as though he were 8 baby" s'Ah but you forget" replied the lady; ''the horse, you know, is a very intel l ligent animal. ."-Boston Transcript. Brown-''Deacon Smith is reporting about town, Robinson, that you were out gunning l last Sunday" Robinson-"Well, Deacon Smith will get himself in trouble if he doesn't | look out. It's 8 mistake" Brown-"I'm glad to hear you say so, Robinson. l didn't ! day." Robinson mphatically)-'tNo, sir, ] l did not go gunning last Sunday, and, it ne cessary, I've got the fish to prove it."-Har- I per's Bazar.
 l She leaned over the backyard fence and ] swung her apron in the air. The signal wal | answered, and the two were soon busy "doing" the neighborhood. sThe Shiftless and good deal sooner than they're incline | well.n "Yes, too" "Weu, they aini so very bad after all They mear I 'spose they do, but they have the hardest work letting folks know what they mean ot any crowd I ever saw.'-Hartford Post. A Detroiter who was working across one | of the northern counties with horse and
 buggy this summer met farmer on foot toe l and asked how far it was to Greenville 'sWhich one?" was the query, after half a minute spent in reflection. "Why. I didn't know there was but one Green l ville." ''Didn't yous There's one in South 1 Carolina, second in Kansas, a third in 1 Ohio and fourth in Iowa. Which one dc l you want to go to?'' ''The nearest one.' l tWell, that's about seven miles off. Next l tina you inquire for Greenville you'd better
 name the State. Got any tobacco" (Which
 tobacco do you wants' "Why, I didn't | know as there was more than one tobacco l s'Oh yes, there is. There's plug tobacco, l fine cut, shorts and smoking. Which dc you wantg" "Wall, I'll take plug" ''I
 haven't got any. Next time you inquire fol
 tobacco you'd better mention the kind" The l two looked each other over for a minute
 and then. separated for life.-Detroit Fret