Smyrna times., 1886-03-17
WHOLE NO. 1899.
Sharp, Short and Sunny.

The Chicago bakers are organizing
for great strike.
In Kentucky an overcoat witbout q
flask pocket is considered a misfit.
1t takes but six minutes now to send
a cable message to London and to get
the answer.
Most men like to see themselves in
l;IIL print put women don't. They prefer
/ SILK or satin.
postmaster General Villas is said to
give great offence by snubbing pubIic
men who call upon him.
Burned beer" is the latest invention
in drinks. 1t is said to fetch the drnnt
quicker than the raw fluid.
Local option is working we'll in Mis-
sisslPpl. 1t is about the only thing in
the state that does work well.
1t only requires energy and vim and
newspaper advertising to accomplish
almost anything in this world.
Hello! old man! How did Won
come to fall down ?" "Huh! couldn't
fall in any other direction, could I?n
An awfully homely man at sociable
wnere kissing games are played, looks
as lonesome as straw hat in snow
storm.
The word pulpit, +" like "ferry-boat."
and 'outlandish women" occurs once
IN the Bible. 1t was Ezra that was in
the pulpit.
The population of the world is stead
lly increasing at the rate of three per
minute, laU OF 1920 per day, more than
100000 per year.
The consumption of tea Der capita in
Great Britain for the year 1885 was only
hve pounds, while that for this country
Is only l.18 pounds.
The law and order league, of Cincin-
matt, has finally triumphed over Sunday
theatncals: A vigorous war on the
concert hall has begun.
-, What-are-yOu-g -going-to-do-about-it
Snlarp, like his renowned predecessor,
MhaC,-are--yOu-gOing--tO--dO-about.-it
tweed, is finding out what.
The dancing season is over and $50
ciety is now resting and going to
church some, getting ready for the
summer campaign of frivOlity.
Human efforts to achieve certain
aims, are very much lik a cat trying to
eaten Its tail. Just as we think we are
ABOUT to succeed, away goes the tail.
It's only appropriate for Miss Cleve-
land to have jam" at her receptions.
shes sweet creature, according to all
accounts, with tart word for use on
occasion.
Another effort is being made to have
the street cars in Toronto run on Sun-
days. 1t will probably end in failure
as the public sentiment against it ia
very strong.
1t may be that luck goes up and
down the world calling on men and
women, but the name has been spelled
Pluck on all of her cards that have
come under our eye.
Everybody is glad that Mr.. Edison
is married. They want him to invent
a method whereby the baby's midnight
shrieks will be carried off on a wire to
trlghtsn away the cats ON the roof.
Our attention has been called to an
other dreadful crime in Vermont. A
man walked deliberately into the rail
road library room in St. Albans the
other day and took the life of Macau-
lay.
Firmness and constancy are cardinal
virtues In public man, land especially
IN President. But public condemna-
ton in the Garland case is a stone wall,
and it is foOlhardy to try to butt it
down.
Senator German has introduced bill
appropriating hundred thousand dol
lars to provide for the celebration on
March 4th, 1889, of the one hundredth
anniversary of the adoption of the Con-
! stitution.
Staid old New Jersey and the law
abiding people of old Monmouth county
are under a cloud. The lynching of
the negro " Mingo Jack, at EatOntOwn,
IN that county, is thing to be deplored
by all good citizens.
The richest ladies at the most fashion
able balls are usually the scantiest
dressed. They might spend less for
jewels and more for dress goods, and
then they need not have their dresses
cut so short at the top.
Jerseymen are gradually beginning
to get proud of Devoe, the weather
prophet. There has recently been so
much raw material in the shape of
weather that any sort of a prophet
ought to be able to hit it with one
hand tied.
The particular spot at Gettysburg on
which General Hancock fell wounded,
July 3rd 1868, is now marked by only
a wooden post. Philadelphians pro-
pose to substitute, as a more lasting and
appropriate memorial, granite bOuld-
er, suitably inscribed.
"It's English you know" not to wear
any OvercOat nowadays. But the Press
urges slow judgement on the part of
the public when they see a shivering
OvercOatless creature, remarking that
PawnbrOkers and English custom
work in the same direction"
"What is spirit, papa ?" asked little
boy just from Sunday school. "a spir-
it, my boy" replied the father, after
some cOgitatiOn, "is something which
you can perceive, but cannot see."
"Yes, l know" said the hopeful son,
who in turn had taken time to consider;
tits what you smelt of after coming
out of the cupboard last evening.
"
A MOTHERS FATAL MIsTAKE.-Bal-
timore, Md.-EUery Saturday of this
city has account of sad accident.
which happened in family last week.
A little child was threatened with
Group, and the mother gave it too large
a dose of a cough mixture which un-
dOubtedly contained opium, as the
child sank into a somatOse condition,
and died The Coroner spoke strongly
on the danger of such medicines, and
remarked that the new cough remedy
Red Star Cough Cure, is free from
Opiates or poison, that the governor
and many public men of Maryland,
have warmly endorsed it, and that
physicians in hospitals have adopted it
in theis treatment of throat and lung
troubles. 1t costs only twenty-five
cents bottle.
The efficacy of DR.. Walkers Vine
gar Bitters, in Chronic Dyspepsia, Fe-
vers, Nervous dirorders, constipation,
deficiency of vital power, and all mall
aides affecting the stomach, liver, bow
els, pulmonary Ordans, or muscular
system, has been experienced by thou