Morning journal and courier., 1886-10-14
mphantly)-"Then let's trade incomes.

Puck
Lady Gin dry goods store)-'I will look at
your material for towels.'' Clerk (recently
transferred from the dress goods department.
Yes, ma'am; something that won't show
dirt?'-Life.
Female Twin Soul-''Pardon my dishevel-
ed appearance; have but just come from the
bath" Male Twin Soul-''Ah! you bathe,
then?" F. T. S.-ssYes" NJ 7. S.-''Anoth-
er habit in common. How sweetl''-Buffalo
Express.
"LaEra,' said Mrs. Parvenu, on the hotel
piazza, to her daughter, Laura, go and ask
tie leader of them orchestras to play that
sympathy from Meddlejohn' over again
It's such an awful favorite of mine and your
fathers, too!"-Boston Traveller.
cts just asI always said, Mr. Dusenber-
ry. You're too vac1llating. You lack
gumption. You haven't backbone enough. -
Backbone doesn't amount to much, my
dear" ''Oh, it doesn't, eh?' f'No. Now
there's the camel. He's nearly all backbone,
and yet he's the meekest cuss in creation.
He'll let you pile the last straw on him. -
-Philadelphia Call.
Would Get Something Easier-In coun-
try printing Office. Editor Ito compositor)-
Chow, do you spell pneumonia" Compositor
(after several attempts)- )--"Give it up. Why
don't you look in the dictionary" Editor
Because I am sitting on it and don't want
to disturb myself. Never mind. I'll say
that the old gentleman died of some disease
that is easier to spell. ."-Arkausaw Traveller
Rich and retired Socialist-'My son, you
must give up your reckless ways and not
squander the money earned by many nights
on the lecture platform. Son-tGive it
upa Why, there's plenty of money left. P"
eyes, but not of yours" Son-"Correct:
but I and brother Jim have decided that
you would not tell lie, SO we are going to
divide the family estate in three even parts"
New York Graphic.
Not Asking Great Deal-'I am afraid,
Bobby" said his mother, 'tthat when tell
your papa what naughty boy you've been
to day, he will punish you severely" "Haye
you got to tell him" asked Bobby, anxious
ly. "Oh, yes; shall tell him Immediately
after dinner" The look of concern upon
Bobby's face deepened, until a bright
thought struck him ''Well, ma," he said,
might do that much for me" ."-Harper's
Bazaar.
The Independent says the following is YER
batim from a Pike county (Pa.) weekly: "The
family were quickly aroused, but the re-
morseless Rider of the Pale Horse had already
sounded the alarm at the outer gate, and be-
fore II o'clock the boat with its precious
freight was dashing over the turbulent and
angry waves from which no being was ever
known to try to recross, and another form
created in the image of its maker lay wreck
ed upon the shore of time"
Sometimes, right in the midst of the ap-
plicatlon of the most solemn correction to
child, the parent is stumped to the utmost to
keep his face from being wreathed with
smiles and his sides from shaking with
laughter. Jack had been naughty. all
Jacks are sometimes. His father had talked
him into fearful repentance just at bedtime,
and then inquired: ''How long are you going
to be a good boy?" t'All night" was the
explosive that came out between the sobs.
The guardian angel of that boy must have
had lots of fun cograting over the cuteness
of his charge as he stood guard ''all night"
Hartford Post.