Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-02-22
BRIGHT BITS.

DUDES ape their ancestors by haying mon
keys outhe handles Of their HmbreIlas.-Yel0
York dOsr5td1. - ~
TAI coEvIcfs in the Wisconsin peniten-
tlary publish newspaper. They do not,
however, steal from exchanges,
a NEW YoBK woNAN who has fhst become
inssne4 - % that She has Two heads. Her
Inns rShd b o "a duplicate nus order for a bon
net-sEA its8siP6ieg Cait. sagof-t
THFKE sIstn art In putting on glove, says
fasMohpapsnsj Come IN think Uf IL. you have
to EctJcqr b apd insas L we're. in putting on
gleye Rpoperly .-7Bosf1rs GofE{eT,9tc
JoE COOK savs- he-rcads his-SunGay papers
on ALlIaAlitg m grnihf. He ought 70 read them
all through the-d2v.-Ihis would or course
interfekeI wtt b his sMonlFy lectures, but that
wouldn't mat 81 Bits,r
REApISG the. accounts ot the great loss of
csttielh9 docds IN the south, one IS forced to
the conclusion that there Is not az much
money in watered live stock as in watercd
| Western Union - Val Street ye'os.
A CHICAGo LAWYER jumped up in court the
other day ana exclaimed. II desire to pay
this court IS for the pri vlege Of telling it that
1t il either drunk or corrupt" The Judge
quietly pOcketed the s. aud ordered the case
to proceed Burlington free Press.
HAVE you found religion yet, my frlend?"
Rev. Sam Jones inquired of one Of his hear
ers.
mo" was the reply.
What is your occupation, may l ask?
''I'm detective
"Hm" observed he great revlvalist, that
accounts for it.''-Bost0R Courier.
BITTER indeed t. turn away
From the first br ght sunny beams
That have hrJken out IN life's dull gray
Aud hlled with plea Hnt dreams;
Blu when bright Young sunny heart
And lips once deemet 80 true.
just s1g. ''Pleass take your hat and START
Pray, what's chapto dos
detroit Journal.
FOND Boston mother ITO daughter: ''Jan
ME, did you kiss young ia kins again
tO-nights'
Daughter: "Yes. mamma; he's lust lost an
uncle in san Francisco, and l was sorry for
him."
Fond Boston mother: "weu. Jennie. let
his be the last: I'm afraid Il you keep on en-
couraging him vito your sympathy he WON
hsve relative left nthe vide, wide world"
lid Bits,
THE HAPPY Ian
here Is Il anu with b essings rife
Wher Wen see thngs quite strange,
A gOod ed9e on carving kuife,
w,l'-Duilt kitchen range;
panry v heb is not 70" mall.
A furnace which will h, at
A maid who answers when we call,
cook who's most "eat;
meter which VIII measure gas,
And pipes which vii not burst
To reach that ana. ihDngh, we must pass
That dark still river first.
--Neio HdeeR Netcs
STATE street merchant put a handsome
master figure in his store window, ana pre-
parcel himself 10 enjoy e with his customers
Along in The aft ruonn the wife OF an artist
came 10. and she noticed il at once. "Ab. Mr.
g. she said, that's handsome figure
in your window
''Yrs.n replied the merchant, II call 1t so
myself, / do "
'Your taste Is exec lent" pursued the lady.
land am glad to zee a love of art developing
in commercial circles. What Is the figure
Hebes"
"Oh. no. ma'ar, us plaster Of Paris."-
AercAdDt Ira reisr.
B. Y. BUTLER viii be very grateful To Jim
A. logan for rrprinting in his Great Co .
spracy' an Old srarg from Southern paper
declaring that Butter vas the son OF negro
b rber-Old Ben Butler-who had a shop in
New Orleans. and 7trnm there migrated to
Liberiae where the southern romancer AYERS
that b. r. Butter was born. II Feis " l. Woyl3.
Johqi 81 fh9Ald ngt have lone this-althongh
he crHUfed fhe story 70 the New Orleans Pc
dyihe-bec arse Ben wbuld come back
AZ nirf and ssy tha he Is thes oA6f an Indian
father and \ eero n thsl. and stood for
soniis years as > sisn a. front Of a Chica1o
C ggr store. ,, you don't k1OW what Ben
ButleE IL not capable 81 saving. lie has been
a c;imina lawyer Veto Qs'sars Pfrayune