The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-04-03
Bill Nye ON Hotel Etiquette.
Boston Globe.

1
Etiquette at hotels is subject that
has been but lightly treated upon by
cur modern philosophy and yet it is a
subject that lies very near to every
American heart. Had l not already
more reforms on hand than | can posi-
bly, successfully operate, l would gladly
use my strong social influence and tren-
chant pen in that direction. etiquette
at hotels, both on the part of the pro-
prietor and his hirelings, and the guest,
is matter that calls loudly for improve
ment.
The hotel waiter alone would well
repay close study. From the tardy
and polished loiterer of the efete east
to the off hand and social equal of the
budding west, all walters are deserving
of philosophical scrutiny. 1 was thrown
in contact with waiter in New York
last summer whose manners were far
more polished than my own. Every
time saw him standing there. with his
coat, and the far-away, chastened look
of one who had been unfortunate, but
not crushed, felt that l was unworthy
to be waited upon by such blue-b blood
ed thoroughbred, and l often wished
that we had more such men in congress.
And when he would take my order
and go away with it, and after the me-
ridian of my life had softened into the
mellow glory of the sere and yellow
leaf, when he came back, still looking
quite young, and never having forgotten
me, recognizing me readily, after the
long, dull, desolate years, was glad,
and 1 felt that he deserved something
more than mere empty thanks, and l
said to him: 'Ad, sir, you will remem
Der me after years of privation and suf
fering. When every one else in New
York has forgotten me, with the excep
ton of the confidence man, you came
to me with the glad light of recognition
in your clear eyes Would you be Of
Tended if | gave you this triAing testi
monial of my regard?' at the same time
giving him my note at thirty days.
l wanted him to have something by
which to always remember me. and l
guess he has.
Speaking of walters reminds me Of
one at Glendive, M. T. We had to
telegraph ahead in order to get place
to sleep, and when we registered the
landlord showed out an old double entry
journal for US to record our names and
postofice address in. The office was
the bar, and before we could get our
rooms assigned US we had to wait forty
five minutes for the landlord to collect
pay for thirteen drinks and lick per.
sonal friend. Finally, when he got
around to me, he told me that l could
sleep in the night bartender's bed, as
he would be up all night and might
possibly get killed and never need it
again anyhow. 1t would cost me 81
cash in advance to sleep one night in
the bartenders bed, he said, and the
house was so blamed full that he and
his wife had got to wait till things kind
of quieted down and then they would
bail pool table and sleep there.
l called attention to my valuable va
lise that had been purchased at great
cost, and told him that he would be safe
to keep that behind the bar till l paid,
but he said he wash t in the second hand
valise business, and so I paid in advance.
It was humiliating, but he had the edge
on me.
At the tea table I noticed that the
waiter was young man who evidently
had not been always thus. He had the
air of one who yearns to have some one
tread on the tail of his coat. Meekness,
with me, is one of my characteristics
1t is almost passion. 1t is the result
of personal injuries received in former
years at the hands of parties who ex-
celled me in brute force and who sue
ceeded in drawing me out in converse
ton, as it were, till l made remarks
that were injudicious.
So did not disagree with this waiter,
although l had grounds. When he came
around and snorted in my ear, salt
pork, antelope and cold beans,' at the
same time leaning his full weight on
my back, l thought 1 would call for
what he had the most of, SO | said if he
didn't mind and it wouldn't be too
much trouble, would 4akA cnld beans
l will leave it to the calm, impasslon-
ate and bipartisan reader to state
whether that remark ought to create ILL
feeling. 1 do not think it ought. How
ever, he was irritable, and life to him
seemed to be cold and dark. So he
went to the general delivery window
that led into the cold bean laboratory
and remarked in hoarse, insolent and
| ironical tone of voice:
"Nother damned suspicious-looking
character wants cold beans.