The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-02-10
Glimpse of the Greaser

Glimpse OF the Greaser.
There was a day when the haugh- !
ty descendant OF the Moutezumas
ruled this blOssoming land, rolled |
his cigarettes in one time and two /
motions, ana 10y doing in the sun /
without fear OF the eucroachment OF |
his fell enemies, soap, spelling books |
and work. His wants were primi- |
tive, and his habits patriarchal. dis
ancestors he'd built his adobe house, |
and the only requirements OF the |
kitchen were a few strings of red |
pepper, some onions, couple bags
OF beans, several dozen dogs, and
cotton shirt. A thoughtful Pfoyi-
dence placed within his reach oppOr-
tunities for stealing tobacco, and the
desires of his soul scared nc further
La the remote fastnfssss Of the Ter
ritory the complexion of the greaser
was that of tarnished copper, butIn
the neighbOrhood of long establish
ed military posts the prevailing hue
was much lighter His only source
of wealth was the cattle trade, which
he conducted on the simple but sci
entific New Mexican principle OF
finding Il herd that wssn't too care
fully watched and taking his pick
from it. Sometimes, Of course, the
owner OF the stock demonstrated with
q six-shoOter, OF n vigilance commit (
tee would take up the trail and give
q neckue party IN his honor, bat
there are risks In all lines Of busi- |
ness. Once he had acquired the
nucleus Of herd all a greaser had |
to do was to swap off a lame heiier
for loaded shotgun and lie IN the
sand and watch the nucleus increase. !
This method of cattle raising obyi- I
ated the disagreeable necessity OF
bringing dollars and cents into the
transaction, ana gave a tone to COM
merce that is unknown IN the North
Thus equipped with property, a
greaser's lite was mapped out COM
pletely, and having married the lady
of his choice he had nothing with
which to Kill time but await the in
evitable day OF his return to dust
and bequeath his cotton shirt and
cattle to the little greasers.
Philosophers say that climate and
diet have powerful effect upon
morals. If this be true, can you in
form me how morals will develop in
a climate where the rain falls every
day for six weeks, and the air Is as
dry as powder the rest OF the year,
aud where the steady diet OF the
average citizen is red pepper, onions
aud blue beans? Without red pep
per the'greaser's life would bea bur
den to bim. The pods be uses are
about - long as your hand and
hotter than a blast furnace, and
one of them taken inwardly will
smelt all the Christianity out OF
white man in three minutes. The
onions are as large as soup-plates,
aud have the happy knaek OF giving
their consumer a breath ike bUz-
za1d. OF the blue beans | will sim
ply say nothing Now, when a man
hides away daily three large, luxuri
Gus meals of these edibles, and new
er hears sermon, | ask you as q
/ fAir-minded man if you expect him
TO be sensitive on the delicate ques
tlons of etiquette and proDriety ?.
Add to this load of local provisions
quart or two of mescal, a local
| LIQUOR which will eat its way through
boiler iron in four seconds, and fig
ure on the moral result OF the fer
mentation. If this doesn't quite
solve the problem, consider the ef-
feet of a temperature of 1OSo in the
shade, and of a soil which Is at It's
nest when breeding tarantuias, red
ants. and an affeetionate domestic
insect Of nocturnal habit and great
rapaeity.
The greaser il slowly but surely
passing away. TIE railroads and
telegraph have interftred with his
methods in the cattle trade, and cru
el and designing men have introduc-
ed soap and education to complete
bis rum. Besides these slow but
malignant poisons be has recently
been brought face TO iaCe with new
and hitherto unknown horror-work
and MS constitution refuses TO
bear tie strain. Try to educate
New Mexican and you have bis IL
most nature in rebellion; intiict soap
upon him and you trample on hi
most sacred feelings compel him TO
work aud you kill him From where
frown the gray walls Of Ration Pass
to where the Organ Mountains scowl
upon Texas the greaser mas jealous
iy guarded his ignorance aud dirt,
and dreamed his dreams in the sun
in the intervals Of flea catching ana
red peppers, and lived and died a.
conservative and righI-minded
New Mexican should. But nov Ms
vitals are undermined by spelling
books thrust upon him by merciless
lawmakers VINO have wrested the
Territory from him the beautiful
patriarchial simplicity of his meth
ods for acquiring property has been
shattered, and the only alternative
of work or starvation is that his pri-
vatious will some day frenzy him,
and in a moment Of rash delirium he
will wash himself and die.