Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1886-04-08
CHUBBY.
Jerome X. Jerome in Home Chimes.

time OF his baptism. 1t was the name
given him by the footman of the Duke
OF Clarence, when he went 20 fetch a
NIP for the lady at the friedish shop,
and when, owing to his own extreme
smallness, and the excessive weight of
a somewhat corpulent female, who,
coming over tired. was compelled to
suddenly lean up against the swing
door at the exact moment that he had
got himself halfway through it, he
and the bottle were very nearly being
broken into fragments; and the whole
bar was thrown into confusion by an
unseen voice exclaimingin thin muffled
tones:
"Hi, make get up. She's a
squashing of me; and / want quart
ern o. GIN"
In bestowing upon him the soubri-
quet OF Chubby" Bob was considered
to have achieved high work of sar-
castle humor, he 1.-THE so-dubbed Club
by being "a particularly scraggy and
cadaverous-looking youngster Be-
sides, Chubby suggests laughing,
bright eyed, lovable little fellow, and
Bob's Chubby is not this. There is
nothing attractive at all about
Chubby. There is an unpleasantly old
and cunning look about his pinched
face. and his dull, bleared eyes never
sparkle with the light of childhood.
Hi rags are not of the picturesque or.
der, and his language, when put to
it, would shock Il four.wheeled cab
man No. there il nothing attract
tive about Chubby. He is not
the sort OF boy you would stop and
pat upon the head; indeed, his head
would be the last thing you would
think of touching and did you pur-
chase from him an evening paper or q
box of wax lights you would be care
full to drop the money into his hand,
not put it there. Even the shop. boys
who stop in front of him to gaze at
some vile publication or other, and to
listen to the filthy contents that he
screams into their ears at the top OF
his childish treble, are careful not to
go too near him; and well-bred dogs,
after one sniff, make n circuit to get
round him.
Bob has certainly displayed humor
in calling him Chubby"
Not that it much matters what he
is called; a nobody ever wants him
unless, maybe, it is to get out of their
way. He is always in everybody's
way.
He is more in the way than ever to-
night, tor it is Christmas Eve, and the
pavement is not wide enough for the
people Busting, good-tempered
crowds throng the streets, jostle and
chaff, block each other at the corners,
stream in and out of the shoop-doors,
and cluster round the shop windows.
Everybody is busy and in a hurry,
while he, having no business, nor
pleasure nor profit in view, and in
deed, no object, place, or purpose, as
it would seem, in the world at all, is
naturally in everybody's way, and
more OF a nuisance than usual.
lie meanders idly about, taking no
consideration for people who are
marketing, or buying Christmas pres
ents, or going to places of amuse.
ment. Old gentlemen, putting along,
laden with parcels, suddenly find
themselves stumbling over him, and
threaten to give him in charge. Stout
ladies, on going to turn round, find
him inexpicably mixed up with
the voluminous folds of their
ample skirts, and drat the
child. Young men, rushing TO meet
their sweethearts, all at once feel his
head in the pit of their stomach, and
request the young beggar in extreme
ly impolite language, to get out of the
way. Shopkeepers, looking after their
goods outside, suggest the ACCESSIBILITY
of his hooking it, unless he wants to
undergo a certain painful and unnec-
essary operation, popularity supposed
to result in much benefit when per-
formed upon the person ofsmall boys.
Drivers of all sorts yell and swear at
him the moment he steps into the
road, and policemen regard him stern
ly, and admonish him with gruff,
'pow them" The boy is in every
body's way, and always will be-until
he gets out of it altogether.
Left in peacefor moment in front
of a brilliantly lighted toy-shop win
dow, Chubby spreads his legs out and
stands firm, looking in. Not that he
cares for toys, or for anything else ex.
cept what he can eat or drink, but it
is warm there, and he is tired of being
pushed about.
Two other little lads are also stand
ing there, looking in. They are very
different to Chubby. They are clean,
and bright, and pretty-two jolly,
happy little fellows; they are chatter
ing away to one another as fast as
their tongues can go. They are full OF
what they are going to do on the NOR
row, and one asks the other il he is GO
ing to party. IL am" he adds, with
out giving time for a reply. "Willy
Norris mammals servant came this
afternoon with an invitation for me,
and there's going to be such lots there
only boys and girls though, no grown
ups-and there's going to be q Christ
mas-tree, and q magic lantern, and
Pm going to wear my new knickerbock-
ers."
Chubby doesn hear any more, for,
taking hands, they run off together;
but as he stands looking after their
warmly-clad little figures till they are
swallowed up in the eddying crowd,
and listeningto their CHEEKY voices till
the sound is drowned in the general
roar, a feeling o: envy springs up in
his heart, and, for the first time in his
life, there comes to him dimly sense
of his own loneliness.
For the first time in his life, he feels
,nieera hla He has nevpr felt any,
thing before. Feeling-sensation OF