The Arizona sentinel., 1886-10-09
AMERICAN coNSULSHIPS.
Offices to Which Distance Very Frequently
 Lends Enchantment.

Offices to Which Distance Very Frequently
 Lends Enchantment.
 But & Consulship sounds very big till you get there. There are innumer- able islands in the South Pacific, and there tribes who declare war, fight, publish proclamations of defiance, and seem altogether extraordinarily heroic. The United States sent Consul to one group lately, wherein the ideal was grand-immense. Kneeling subjects in the shape of American citizens; sup plant chiefs and trembling Kings, with all the attendant gorgeousn ess and dig nity, filled his minds eye. He ''busted" himself in an outfit, laid in an elegant dress suit, pair of patent leather shoes, white ties, white gloves and an enormous diamond pin for his shirt front Thus equipped, he sailed away with all the conscious pride of a repre- sentative of a grand Republic. From the port he landed at he was conveyed to a small sailing vessel to the point of officialdom. AS the ship entered the offing, the flag of the United States gayly flying at the masthead, the white residents of the island came off in a small boat to welcome him. The new official received them affably, was quite amiable, and did not put on too many airs.
 "Come on shore with us and we'll present you to the King" said the well corners.
 ''The King! I can't go up to the palace in this dress. My trunks are in the hold. can't present myself to the King like this"
 ''Oh, come with us. That's all right. You can put on all your tinery and call on him again. He's waiting for you."
 Waiting for me?'
 "Yes. We told him the new Consul was coming"
 ''And he's waiting for mel? don't know what to do. 1 can't keep his Majesty waiting, but can hardly go up in this dress"
 "Oh, that will do He won't mind"
 And they tumbled him into the boat and took him on shore. If you've ever tried to step out of boat on shelving beach, you know how it is yourself He did it. He stepped clear into the water and went rolling Here was quandary. The residents gathered the wet Consul up, took him to a store, and fitted him into twelve-dol- ar-hand-me-down suit, which didn't fit him. It took long time to argue him into going then. But they would have it, and off they went
 Look here! 1 don't feel comfortable at all going up to the palace to make my first appearance as Consul in this miserable condition. Where is the palace? Are we near it?'
 "Quite. There it is. "
 He looked and saw a conical mud hut with two square holes on opposite sides, and gentle smoke flOated up through the point of the roof, which was appar- ently vent-hole.
 ''What?"
 That's the palace. The King and Queen are in there waiting for you"
 They entered. In the center, in what looked Ike a kind of mire, sat fat, black, dignified fellow, whose protec- ton from the inclemency of the weather was a whisp of cotton tied around his W lady of acquiescent, contented mein, whose toilet had all fallen around her waist, too; at least, she hadn't any any where else.
 ''Hullo!" said the newcomer in the language of the country. ''Hullo, old chap, how are you?" Then more po- litely: This IS the new Consul from America" "
 The new Consul, who had been prac- ticing his bow ever since his application had been filed, made an obeisance, when a pig suddenly ran in by one entrance, skipped between his genufiections, land ed him head first in the mire and skipped out by the opposite hole in the hut. All d gnity was outraged, but the King didn't mind it, nor did the numerous royal family who lay around promiscu- ously without any toilet at all. That's all right, old boy," said the residents to the embarrassed Consul. "We've got up ball for you tonight, and you'll see the King and Queen in style there.
 So the Consul got his trunk out, got his dress suit, his white tie, his white gloves and his patent-leathers ready and presented himself at the ''hotel'' where the ball was to be. The hotel was wooden frame with mud roof The King and Queen entered in grand style, with little more toilet of loose kind, and the new Consul came Tn with the Kings sister, noble Princess, and they all had a royal night of it. Before the new Consul had gone to bed in the the Princess Royal returned from the palace, paid him a special call and solicited his washing. He does not look for any dignity in his position now. He is looking for profit. A man ought to gain something from being a Consul. .SGn Francisco Chronicle.