Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-08-29
CONVERSATION AT THE SEASIDE.
Some of the subjects Discus cd on
Hotel Nerand.,.

AsBURY PARK, Aug. 23-C Conversation nj
n seaside hotel Is never either stimulating or
beneficial Early evening i the hour when
there is a freer cummInglIng of the different
elements Of society. The vrranda Is the
theatre of this form Of sociability. Twilight
gives an excuse for Informal exchange The
highly exclusive and den>cly stupid dowager
then permits herself Ia say "yCs, no" in.
deed, Il am surprised and other equally
brilliant remarks n the tedious old man who
talks about himself all the time She has
had good deal IF her own society through
the day, and Is somewhat tired of it, TO tell
the truth. Anything is a relcf-tven such
nothlngsa as the vacant-hcade1l Old man utters
woman with two pretty daughters talks
mostly about keeping the house lively" She
watches hungrlly for new guests and secretly
hopes that every fresh arrival will prove to
he somebody Of consequence. She has an eve
10 making acguaintanctS Of distinction
The bullet headed man treats us to long
and graphic yarns about fish He has fishe,l
everywhere, if he is t" be believed. from
Behring's strait tn the southern seas, and
always with the most astonishing success.
The wrigElings Of his victims are described
over anl over again, evening after evening,
until We would all fain cry in our best stage
tones: No more. no more! Spare ME, good
sir. this doeful iteration
The bald headed man with speculative
instincts thinks speculation, but d,,sn't talk
it. No. he talks on conventional subjects.
"Who is the greatest preacher in New York :
and which is the most popular church =
are his standard themes. He quotes bits of
the sermons of his favorite preachers. and
- a,
knows the correct thing in Theology
The woman FROM Boston talks mind cure.
which is all Sanscrit u most of her hearers
heard her this morning try to put an ink
ling OF her theories into mind that had
never heard of any of them, nor. indeed. of
much else beyond being quite prim, proper,
prunes and priSmS-like 1t was breaking
rough ground surely.
The missionary soon saw that it was a
hopeless c;.s.., but she perSeverl She gave
some gool. wholesome rules for diet and then
touched little on metaphysics The other
woman looked ut her with CLASSY eyes as
ignorant Of what she was talking about as a
cricket Then there occurred 10 me a puzzle
for the phrenOpaths to solve How can one
90 to work to cure tine ills Of person with
out a mind.
The pretty little woman, who has two small
children. regaleS all who will listen to her
with stories of the brilliancy Of thsSe nurse
lings. This brings out no end of newspaper
anecdotes about clever hahi.S. their wise and
witty sayings, and their remarkable per
fOrmanceS.
The wife OF the bagman always talks about
the stage. She is hooking forward to the
matinee performances Of the coming winter
with great delight She boards when i'll New
York, and is troubled about how to put III her
time till the theatrical s.aSun opens.
The very elderly lady III silks and lacrs,
queerly enough, talks more gossip than any
body. She duSent limit herself 10 purely in
noccnt gossip, either And when it comes to
criticism she knows how Ia lay it ON then
three ply and palticularlyhghly polished See
ing and hearing her am led to reflect that n
carpinS, critical mind in a body near the
grave is a very diSagreeabe spectacle
One very old man talks hurSc all the time,
which is great Improvement on the un-
t1attering personalities indulgel in by the
very old lady.
The stage struck girl talks always about
the heroes and heroiues of the stage
Tue fair one, who paints plaques and other
horrors, talks about subjects" She spends
some time in hunting for subjects on this
SparSely covered bit Of earth. She takes To
flowers instead of mortals, rs subjects which
is doubtless well for the mortals.
The woman who talks about her relations
is here, of course. She never tells a story
without fastening it on an aunt or cousin. or
some Of her kin dead or alive She has never
been told that stories about relations are
great bores. Probably nobody will ever have
the courage TO tell her MAX ELTON.