The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-02-20
IQUETTE AT 7 HOTELS.


II Ell UEI'TE AT HOTELS.
Bill Nye's Valise Not Good for Board an
Lodging m
s Etiquette at hotels is a subject tina
has been but lightly treated upon b
lsour modern philosophy, and yet it is !;
Subject that lies very neal to ever.
iAmerican heart. Had L not alread
more reforms on hand than 4 can pos
sibIy successfully operate would glad
| ly use my strong social influence AM
| trenchant pen in that direction Ell
lquette at hotels, both on the part Of the
proprietor, and his hirel;ngs, and the
guest, is a matter that calls loudly fol
| Improvement.
The hotel waiter alone would we'll re
| pay a close study. From the tardy ssnt
polished loitererof the effete East t
the off hand and social equal of thu
budding West, all walters are desery
ing Oft philosophical scrutiny. was
thrownin contact with aWaitet liz New
York last sumner whose manners were
far more polished than my own. Every
time /. saw him standing there with his
immediate pantaloons and sWalloW-tail
coat, and the far-aWay, chastened look
of one who had been unfortunate, but
not crushed. felt that [ was unworthy
to be waited upon by such a blue blood
ed thoroughbred, and / often wished
that we had more such men IN Con-
gress. And when he would take my
order and go away with il, and after
the meridian Of my life had softened
into the mellow Of the sere and yellow
leaf. when he came back, Still looking
quite young and never having forgotten
me, recognizing me readily, after the
long, dull, desolate years, was glad,
and felt that he deserved something
more than mere empty thanks, and I
said to him: s'Ah, sir, you still re-
member me after years Of priyation and
suffering. When every one else in New
York has forgotten me, with the ex-
ception Of the confidence man,
you came to me with the glad light of
recognition in your clear eye. Would
you be offended if / gave you this tri-
fling testimonial of my regard?n at the
same time giving him my note at thirty
days.
I wanted him to have something by
which to always remember me, and I
guess he has.
Speaking of walters reminds of one
at Glendive, Montana. We had to tele-
graph ahead in order to get a place to
sleep, and when we registered the land
lord showed out an old double-entry
journal for us to record our names and
post office address in. The Office was the
bar, aud before we could get our rooms
assigned us we had to wait forty-fve
minutes for the landlord to collect pay
fer thirteen drinks and lick a personal
friend. Finally, when he got around by
me, he told me that / could sleep in the
night bar tender bed as he would be up
all night and might possibly get killed
and never need it again anyhow. It
would cost ma, 81. us53',- 4 ~ srfvancsst to
Steep one night in the abartender's bed,
he said, and the house was so blamed
full that he and his wife had got to
wait until things kind Of quieted down
and then they wa,ld have to put a mat
tress on the fifteen-bal pool table and
sleep there. l called attention to my
valuable yalise that had been purchased
at great cost, and told him that he
would be safe to keep that behind the
bar till / paid, but he said he wasn't in
the secondhand valise business, and SO
/ paid in advance. 1t was humiiiating.
but he had the edge on me.
At the tea-table / noticed that the
waiter was young man who evidently
had not been always thus. He had the
air of one who yearns to have some one
tread on the tail of his coat. Weakness,
with me, is one of my characteristics
1t is almost q passion. 1t is the result
Of personal injuries received in former
years at the hands of parties who ex-
celled me in brute force, aid who sue
ceeded in drawing me out in converse
ton, as it were, till made remarks
that were injudicious.
So ] did not disagree with this waiter,
although had grounds. When he came
around and snorted in my ear, salt
pork, antelope and cold beans, y at the
same time leaning his full weight on
my back, while he eyaded the revenue
laws by retailing his breath to the
guests without Il license, I thought
would call for what he had the most of
20 / said il he didu't mind and it
be too much trouble, i would
AXE cold beans.
j will leave it to the calm, impassion
ate and bipartisan reader to state
whether that remark ought to create
ll-feeling / do not think it ought
However, he was irritable. and life to
Tim seemed to be cold and dark, so he |
vent to the general delivery window
hat led INTO the cold bean laboratory,
md remarked in a hoarse. insolent. and
ronical tone of voice:
8 Neither damned auspicious- boxing |
character wants cold beans.
BILL NYE.
On the first day of January, 1885, q |
contribution box was placed in the room |
lf IYnrkn1mef,'s Institata At MiIvilla [