Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-11-13
COAKS e.

Boston's new postmaster is named Corse
The dead letter department will he ably con-
Quoted under his supervision.-Ti Bits.
The landlady Ito fourth floor back)-Do
you find your steak sufficiently tender, Mr..
Dumley2 Dumley (who has just paid his
| back board-Well, you might have hit it a
few more times.-The Sun.
Election Day in New York.-Immigrant
evidently just off the ship)-"Spreehen Sic
Deutsch, Mein Herr?" American-"Go to the
man you voted for if you want anything. Pm
no candidate. Texas Siftings.
The youth who starts out to fight the bat
tie against liquor by drinking it up will
come home victorious to his mother or be
borne back on shutter by the loving hands
of his comrades.-New Orleans Picayune.
Pythagoras believed that man came from a
bean and returned to one. This happens
every day in this country, especially in Bos-
ton. 1t is common spectacle to see men
come from beans and return to them at the
corresponding meal next day.-Norristown
Herald.
Candidate for coroner-Never mind. wife,
when get elected, my fees will buy us all
the comforts of life.
Wife-But, John, suppose there are no sud
den deaths2
Candidate for coroner-Oh, well, we won't
look Oh the dark side.-Tid-Bits.
An eminent physician in Newark, N. j.,
and a Baptist, restored the voice of a well
known Baptist lady few days ago by his
skillfu1 treatment. When congratulated up
on his success in doing this, he replied:
tsThere is nothing easier than to restore q
wemans svoice."-Richmond Religious Her
aid.
A creditor had called upon Biggs score
of times, but without avail ''Look here!"
he exclaimed inpatiently, "when are you
going to pay me that money2' ssMy dear
/
''you do not consider. I don't see how I'm
ever going to pay back these charming visits
of yours, much less your money Really,
you shouldn't expect it."-BostoD Tran
script.
One Of the employees at the custom house
thought he had invented good scheme for
getting rid of the doves that are nuisance
abou that building. He bought a peck of
corn, sokaed it in State of Maine rum and
spread it out upon the window lodges and
cornices where the birds congregate. 1t was
expected they would eat 1t and become stu
pid and helpless SO they could be caught and
killed, but the result was different from the
calculation. The birds ate few grains and
then spit them out. These are the kind of
birds that raised in the State of Maine
Portland Advertiser.
Little Grace's mother was ill, and Grace
was very naughty. A detailed account of
her misdemeanors was given to her mother
and her advice was asked. ''Bring her to
me- she said, s'and will see what a serious
talk on the subject will do" The little one
was accordingly brought in to her mother,
who vividly portrayed to her the offences of
which she had been guilty, endeavoring to
put the case in such way as to impress the
child deeply. The effort was quite exhaust
ing, but the mother felt convinced, from the
childs earnest attention, that the desired eff
feet had been produced. "Ycu may go now,
DEAR" she said: ssn4amma's tired" The
little girl fingered. "What more do you
wanta" asked her mother, kissing the sup
posed little penitent gently. 'Nothing,
mamma" she replied sweetly, 'fonly-don't
you think you could tell me- that nice story
over agains''-Harpers Bazaar.