davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
Y he ssDoctOr Books.
Poultry Journal.

Experience SIS chicken doctor2 Oh
7 remember the time when armed
with a { Treatise" I went forth to
conquer the cholera among my neigh
boris fowls? What faith she had In
my superior medicaz knowledge, and
what faith I had IN the Treatise"
How we according to the 'Treatise, :"
administered coal-oil to render inert
the poison taken into the system
How we gave soda to "neutralize the
excess of acidw How we gave pills,
blue mass, quinine, camphor gum,
cayenne pepper, castor oil, opium,
sulphur, alum, copperas, white oak
bark tea, condition powders. St.
Jacobs oil, ''Pain Killer" Douglas
Mixture and good many other mix
tures And how those hens died
They just laid down as though life
had lost lit charms. Doctored to
death? Now don't ask inconvenient
questions, for really I wouldn't like
to say just what think about it. One
thing sure [ have always been thank
full that hens have no souls. didn't
follow the directions?" Not quite
but we did the best we could. How
could we follow all the directions
when the patients up and died before
we got half way down the page2 For
instance, the directions for one kind
of pills said: CATER the pills have
had sufficient action, give enough cas-
tor oil to act freely and then from ten
10 twenty drops of tincture of opium
three Or four times day." but as the
patients generally died before the
pills worked much, we couldn't fol-
low the rest of the directions. Of
course it was very unkind and I'M
grateful for those hens to die before
We could carry out the whole pro-
gramme, but they did, aud we hadn't
the heart to go on after they were
dead.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
The Bows Mother Trusted Him.

Several little boys, who always
play together, went off one afternoon
lately, leaving one Of their number
behind. says the Boston Record. His
Oldest sister, seeing him at home ask
ed:
"Where are the others?"
"Gone off,"
"Gone where?"
"Well, for what they call 'fun,' but
mother calls mischief
But" persisted his sister, "why
didn't you go too?"
"Ob, mother trusts me so dreadfully
I can't ever have any funm
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
CURRENT FUN.

"The plaintiff says" recited the
judge, "that you often deserted her
that you subjected her to shameful
treatment; that you even often struck
her brutality. You call yourself man
and strike woman of 25." The wife,
who is in the court room, weeping,
with her face in her hands, raises it
suddenly at this and exclaims: 81
beg pardon, monsieur lie president
only "a years"
"You and the children had better
60 out for good time to-day" said a
thoughtful man to his wife. 81 shan't
be home until tea time" In the even
ing papa asked the children where
they had been all day, and they re-
sponded in mo1rnful chorus, Sat the
milliner's."
A countryman who had been sever
al times married before, has brought a
new bride to the parsonage. Clergy
man (about to perform the marriage
ceremony)-Willt the bride and groom
please rise! Countryman-We allus
sot before.
A correspondent writes to contera-
pcrary stating that the credit system
is a bad system. It keeps the creditor
constantly on the alert looking out
for the debtor, and the debtor forever
on the jump keeping out of the way
Of the creditor.
At charity fair IN Berlin the crown
princess of Germany has been selling
sausages at $35 apiece and sponge
cake at 81 slice. Any man who will
mix sponge cake and sausage ought
not to higgle about the price.
Patient-Well, doctor, what do you
find ails me? Doctor can't tell just
yet, Mr.. Peters. I am afraid [
shall have to diagnose your case more
thoroughly before can tell. Patient
Say, doctor, will it hurt?
An Atlansa man is dying from the
bite of mule. When mule becomes
dangerous at both ends it is time to
PROFOUND the political conundrum,
whittier are we drifting?"
1--WE just purchased a diminutive
saliva dogp observed Boston girl to
friend. GA saliva dog! What sort
of dog is tnat?" why, one that is
pure extract of Spitz."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
Tran Talk,
Chicago Herald.

A number of passengers were wait
ing at the railroad station in Mon
mouth, Ill, for train for Chicago,
when their attention was attracted by
an unuspal noise in the street near by.
A teamster was beating his horse
with one of the heavy stakes from
his dray, and doing it brutally-no,
humanity and without mercy. The
bystanders were filed with indigna-
ton, and began looking about for a
policeman. Of course none was in
sight. The drayman was large man
muscular, and fierce looking. Every,
body wanted to interfere in the poor
horses behalf, but nobody did. En-
boldened by the silence of the spec
tators, and perhaps glad of an oppor-
tunity to thus exhibit his depravity,
the burly teamster laid on the blows
with renewed energy. Just then q
little man about four feet ten inches
high and weighinging 100 pounds or
so, stepped out of the depot, paused
in establishment at the spectacle be-
fore him, and then without a mo-
ments hesitation. started on run to-
ward the middle of the street. With
bound he ieaped up against the
teamster much as terrier leaps at a
bull, and, planting his fist upon the
big mans nose with all the impetus of
his motion and all of the strength of
his small arm, ent the horse bertor
rolling into the mud through which
his faithful animal had been unable
to pull the heavy load behind him
The bystanders expected to see the
little man run and the big man take
after him. But not SO. When the
big man picked himself up he found
the little man by his side, and In bel
ligerent attitude. Moreover, he call
ed the teamster all the appropriate
names he could think of and threat
ened him with much more punish
ment than he could ever expect to ipfic
if the offender did not instantly take
off a portion of the load and cease
beating his unhappy steed. Slowly
and sullenly the big teamster obeyed
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
YermAnf Girls.

A newspaper correspondent sent to
write up the recent ice carnival at
Burlington, Vt, says:
Womankind everywhere would be
interested In Burlington girls, did
they know how independent and self
respecting they are. They have over
come, if they ever possessed, the false
idea that good honest work lowers a
woman. And one may see in the
handsome streets of Burlington young
ladies from the best ranks of her peo-
pie, both as clerks and cashiers.
Many girl whose father counts his
wealth by tens of thousands earns her
80 a week and clothes herself upon
it. They do this because they prefer
work to idleness; because they believe
themselves to be happier for trying to
be working power in the world, and
because they like to feel that they are
what one of them terms a '.self-sup-
porting institution" They carry
their independence to the extent. too,
of demanding that the young men
also shall have definite aim in life.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
SQUIBS.

Archbishop Gibbons was procer's
clerk in New Orleans thirty years
ago.
The Panama Canal has 1O2, 900
stockholders. of whom Is, 900 are WON
en-.
Paris eats far fewer eggs now than
formerly, but egg eating has increas-
ed in London.
John T. Malone, leading man in
Booths company. was formerly law
yer IN San Juse, Cal.
An alligator, measuring two feet
SIX inches In length, has been captur-
ed, IN swamp at Long Island City.
Those men who avoid healthful ex-
erclse IN the open air are now said to
have a disease called cosmophobia.
Ida Seeks, of Easton, Pa, who is
twenty -four years of age, has had four
husbands IN s. married life of ten
years.
French women follow fashion as a
dog follows his master. Other women
follow fashion as bliud man follows
his doc.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
She Knew Him.
Texas Siftings.

Judge Peterby came home not long
ago pale as ghost and trembling all
over.
Whats the matter?" asked his wife.
Mad dog bit me. In less than two
weeks I'll be raving mad and swapping
at everybody who comes near me.
Judge Peteby," said his wife, calm
ly, ''you can't work that little game
on me. Ma is going to stay right here
in the house and help me take care of
you"
II expect I'll have to go to Paris
and be treated by Pasteur," said
Peterby.
ma and I will go along with you"
Up TO the time of our going to press
Peterby has developed no signs of
hydrophobia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
What q Spider Did.

A spider, as shown by means of
actually weighing it and then confn-
ing in a cage, ate four times its weight
for breakfast, nearly nine times it's
weight for dinner, thirteen tines it's
weight for supper, finishing up with
an ounce, and at p. IA. when releas-
ed, ran off in search Of food. At this
a man weighing $50 pounds would
require the whole of a fat steer for
breakfast, the dose repeated with the
addition of a half-dozen well-fatted
sheep for dinner, and two .bullocks,
eight sheep and four hogs for supper,
and then, as lunch before going to
his club banquet, he would indulge
in about four barrels Of fresh fish.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
The II an Who Never Forgot a Face.
Chicago Herald.

The passenger who was never
known to forget 3 face sat down be-
side freckled young man with a
sandy mustache.
Seems TO me I've seen you be-
lore, said the never-forget-you passen-
ger.
Possibly" replied the freckled
young man, "my name is Smith, of
Jonesville, Mich"
''What is that? Smith, of Jones
vile"
Eyes, John Smith, Jonesville. Did
you ever live in Jonesville, Mich,
my fr1end9"
SHOULD say I did. Lived there 10
years. Knew l had seen you some
where before. I never forget face.
[ knew you as soon as I sot eyes on
you. Never forgot face in my
life"
Glow long since you left the old
town9"
'Let me see; it was twenty seven
years last June. That's a long time,
amt it! Hain't been there since, but
you face is as fresh in my mind as If
it were only yesterday"
Now this is odd," said the freckled
young man; ''you haven't been in
Jonesville for twenty-seven years. I
haven't been out of it for twenty-seven
years, and I am just twenty-seven
years old. I must have been born the
year you left the town. Do you still
think you remember met"
Remember you lad? Why, I
knew you the moment saw you. I
was your godfather at your christen-
ing, and do you think I would forget
a face that was impressed on my mind
in so solemn ceremony as toat? No,
stree. I never forget a face, young
man, never"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
Pruning TeOIs.
Our Country Home.

The mild days of the late Winter or
early Spring offer to many farmers q
more valuable time for pruning fruit
trees than is found later. A few re-
marks upon the outfit neended are
therefore in order.
Perhaps the two most indispensable
requisites are "a good pruning saw, and
what is known as pole shear. The
former is used for cutting off all limbs
thicker than the little finger, while
the later serves an excellent purpose
Tor cutting sprouts and smaller
branches.
Saws are now made expressly for
pruning, SONS of which are a great
Improvement over the common car
penters saw for the purpose. The
best. form which we have seen
has the blade slightly crooked like
that of a sword, with teeth cut on
both edges. On the convex edge, the
teeth point towards the appendix of
the blade, while on the other, they
point towards the handle. The round
ed edges cause the teeth to take hold
we'll, and as the concave edge has
teeth pointing towards the handle, it
GUS Ou Luc uEdW uIOIIOu. houCS t
limb may be severed without difficulty
though it can only be reached with
the point of the saw, and that nearly
at an arms length; an important con-
sideration IN pruning large trees.
The pole shears consists of a strong
knife, attached to the end of a light
pole, and arranged so that the knife
may be operated by means of lever.
1t is a very convenient tool, and one
who mas used it will hardly wish to
do without it afterward. With small
trees the pruning may be almost all
done from the ground, as by the aid
of the pole, limbs may De readily cut
off ten or twelve feet from the ground.
The operator always needs to use
care not to attempt to cut too large
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18

leaves. We think the better plan is to
soil the swine in large yard, cutting
grass and weeds, and feeding all mate
rial that is collected on the farm that
would otherwise be wasted. Fed in
this manner. and on a variable diet, a
meal of corn once day would not be
lost, while the manure saved will paw
well for the labor. But for the fact
that most farmers dread the labor re-
quired, soiling the hogs would be an
established method, yet the manure
from large herd, in one year alone,
would almost pay the expenses of
everything but food.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
Why He Didn't Go Fishing.
Carpet Trade and Review.

New York News.
Small Boy say, Jimmy, mas jest
got d new churn, one of dem boss two
minute churns what brings de butter
in no time.
Jimmy-Is it a painted one?
S. B.-Yep.
Islands us high like, with four
legs?
S. B.-Yep.
J.-Cog-wheels on de outside, an a
crank9
S. B.-That's it.
ibid the Teller what sold it to
your ma have warts on de side of his
neck2
S. B.-Yep.
J. earnestly )-Scotty, I feels sorry
for you. Ma got one jes' like it. Dye
know why I wasn't skatin' all day
Saturday?
S. B-No.
il was churnin'.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
FARM. HOME AND GARDEN.
THE FARMERS WIFE.
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX, IN HARPER's BAZAAR.

In with the birds in early morning
The dewdrop CLOVIS like precions gem;
Beautiful tintS in the skies are daWnlng,
But she's never a moment 10 look at them.
The men are waiting their breakfast early;
She must not linger, she must not walt;
For words that are sharp and looks that are
surly
Are what men give when meals are late.
oh, glorious colors the clouds are turning,
If She would but look over hills and trees;
But here are the dishes, and here Is the cnurn-
ing
Those things always must yield to these
The world is filled with the wine of beauty,
If she could but pause and drink it in;
But pleasure, she says, must wait for duty
Neglected work is committed SIM
The day grows hot and her hands grow weary;
Oh, for an hour to cool her head,
Out with the birds and winds so cherry!
But she must get dinner and bake her bread
The busy men in the bayfield, working,
If they saw her sitting with idle hand,
Would think her lazy and call it sinking,
And she never could make them understand.
They do not know that the heart within her
Hungers for beauty and things sublime;
They only know that they want their dinner
Plenty of it and just ION time"
and after the sweeping, and churning and
baking,
And the dinner dishes are all put by,
She sits and sews, though her head is aching,
Till time for supper and chores draws
nigh.
Her boys at school must look like others,
She says, as she patches their frocks and
hose,
For the world is quick to censure mothers
For the least neglect of their chiidren's
clothes.
Her husband comes from the field OF labor
He gives no praise to his weary wife;
She's done no more than has her neighbour;
IT'S the lot of all in country life.
But after the strife and weary tussle
With life is done, and she lies at rest;
The nations brain and heart and muscle
Her sons and daughters shall call her
blest,
And think the sweetest joy of heaven,
The rarest bliss of eternal life,
And the fairest crown Of all, will be given
Unto the way-worn farmers wife,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
He Was Satisfied.
The Rambler

De-Jones-I called around to your
office yesterday, doctor, and found
you had moved.
DR.. Pighead-Yes; I'm located now
at 1872 d street.
De Jones Why, there can't be any
practice for you out out there. Not
more than three houses within radius
of three quarters of mile.
DR.. Pighead-Well, there's foot
ball ground on one corner, skating
rink on anethr, and saloon opposite
I'd like to know what more a man
wants.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18

his commands, and the little N an re-
turned to the station platform, where
he was met with many congratula.
tons and unanimous vote of
thanks.
"You must be very brave, ''said an
old gentleman, ''for I never before
saw such small man as you tackle a
big fellow like that.
ooh. no." replied the modest hero,
81 am not brave. In fact, | am one
of the biggest towards on earth. But
I was not afraid to hit that man, be-
cause [ am a student of human ma
ture. After diagnosing the case felt
perfectly safe"
'Well I have had enough expert
ence in this world to know that any
man who abuses a horse is rank
coward, and whenever get chance
to distinguish myself by Jumping on
such chap do it with both feet. It
is as harmless an amusement as one
can engage in"
A. story need not be true to carry a
moral, but this story has both moral
and truth IN its favor. It's incident
occurred last autumn, and Chicago
commercial~raveler was its hero.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
What He Might do.
Washington Alters,

81 never know what to do with my
feet when I'm In parlor, said the
embarrassed man.
Odd it ever suggested itself to you
that you might steer for the door?"
was the amiable reply.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18

limbs, as the knife will not bear
branch much thicker than the little
finger.
We need hardly add that a light
ladder is almost indispensable adjunct
in tree pruning.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
What 1t Means.
Pittsburg Chronicle.

Pittsburg Chronicle.
Father" asked little Johnny Nc
Swilligen, "what does this mean that
I see IN the paper SO .often?'
What is 1t, johnny"
"Why, a public office is public
trust"
''It means that the public must trust
the man that holds the Office and let
him do what he likes"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
A Perfect Match.
Binghampton Republican.

Bnghampton Republican.
He-Speaking of their marriage, l
think they both made a very good
match.
She-How can you say so? Why
she's birthstone personifed, and he's
perfect stick.
He-Brimstone and q perfect stick
precisely the essentials to a good
match.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
Before the civil war "a

Before the civil war cotton was the
most important agricultural product
of this country. But within the last
few years it has been outgroWn by
wheat, and still more so by corn, Last
year the value of our cotton crop was
about 1922, 600, 900, while the wheat
crop was valued $4,000, 900. and
that OF she corn crop at $64O, 900, 900.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
The Hog ON the Farm.

There, is one point in favor of the
hog which is not placed always to its
credit, and that is, unlike the horse,
cow, or sheep, it produces number
Of young at one birth. This fact en-
ables those who make hog raising a
speciality to rapidly increase such
stock, and cheapens the cost of pro-
daction by reducing the number of
sources, from which the increase is
derived. Taking this into considera-
ton, and also that the hog will eat
anything that may be produced upon
the farm, he is a more valuable aui-
NAL than is ascribed to him. Although
the hog may be made to produce
pork at low cost, yet our farm
ers have, as rule, for generations
adopted the most expensive methods
of feeding that could be devised, and
in so practicing they have also par
TALLY changed the nature of the ami
NAL in order to conform it to the re-
quirements of a concentrated diet
May not this have something to do
with the introduction of new diseases
that cause disaster to the swine in
dustry9 We believe the time will
come when corn will not be fed so
lavishly, and that sonae other kind of
a hog will be preferred to that which
is always INDECENT and in a constant
ly diseased condition.
But while the clover pasture is re-
commended as the best place for grow
ing hogs, our farmers are avere to al
lowing them to run upon it. Where
there are COWS and other stock that de-
mand the pasture the hog has no place
with them. He can not be turned up
on the pasture without ring in his
snout to pervent him from tearing up
the earth, and yet the roots to him are
more preferable than the stalks and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
Using Fertilizers I'm Spring, !
Farm Field and FireSide.

In the fall, when fertilizers are
applied upon the wheat, nearly six
months time occurs for the disintegra-
ton and dissolution of the coarse por-
tons, SO that when the plants are
warmed into activity in the spring, a
large proportion will have been made
available as food. But in using COM
mercial fertilizers in the spring, the
farmerr desires quick results. Hence
superphosphate is superior to ground
bone, and plaster is better than line.
Of the heterogeneous substances nitrate
of soda is the most soluable. Tt is
superior to sulphate of ammonia, be-
cause there are some soils deficient in
soda, though so far as it's actual value
is concerned there is no difference. OF
the potash compounds the market is
supplied with so many different
grades as to make it difficult for the
average farmer to draw line between
them.
Leaving aside the names of the fer
tlllZers as known to chemists, we will
state that nitrate of soda is Chill salt
peter, while the sulphate of potash, in
a crude condition, is known as kainit.
Now, the farmer may buy these sub
stances for himself, and mix them.
All soils require nitrogen, potash and
phosphoric acid. On an acre of clay
loam mixed with sand, if of average
quality, a good application is 100
pounds saltpeter, 300 pounds super
phosphate and 200 pounds kainit.
This quantity may be increased, if
desired, and may be applied accord
ing to the quality of the soil. The
mixture should be troedcasted evenly
and as they are all soIuable ingredi-
ents, the effect may be noticed immed-
lately. The calculated South Caro-
lima rock may be used in place of the
superphosphate, but it contains no
nitrogen. The difference between
ground bone and superphosphate, is
that the latter has been produced by
treating 100 pounds of ground bone to
the action Of forty pounds of sui phur-
ic acid, which renders the phosphoric
acid soluble, and changes the lime of
the bones to a sulphate-plaster. We
are thus plain in order that our read
ers may thoroughly understand just
what they may use, and if the
fertilizer be used on q field that has
been MANFRED in the fall, the result
will be astonishing, and nothing but
dry season can prevent good crop.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-03-18
4 Natural Consequence.
Philadelphia Press.

HnllaQeIphla Press.
II see that Edwin Booth has
greatly increa Led in weight in the
past year"
"Ah, is that so? I think l have no
tlced something of the sort between
the acts of his observation-disclosures
ing in wait, you know?"