Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-04
BRIGHT BITS,

DR.. MARY WALKER has Just inherited $685.
900. some lime ago we made the unkind re-
mark that DR.. Mary's trousers did not g { her.
We wish now to retract that remark. Every
bouy is liable to make mIstakes.-f tuck.
BLIND man was sitting in company with
some visitors, when one of The company lett
the room. "What hite teeth that lady has -
said the blind man.
Why" said a friend, In great surprise,
Because" answered the blind man, "for
the last hour sne has done nothing utlaugh."
-Erchdn1e.
MAN Ito friend)-You didn't seem to treat
that gentleman with pOliteness.
Friend-l spoke rather roughly, admit.
Man-You have changed toward him. The
ether day l saw you cordially shaking hands
with him.
Friend-Yes. he owed me then. but he has
paid me; consequently you see that | am no
longer under obligations to hIm.-ArkdBsa1o
TrdUeler.
BAGLEY-Whats the matter, Jenkins?
Somebody left you fortune?
Jenkins-Not cent. Pm strapped, as
usual. Why do you ask?
Bagley-GOur raiment is so Gorgeous
your general appearance
Jenkins-My dear fellow, have discovered
the secret OF prosperity. 1t is easier to get
trusted for $40 suit than to save $50 TO buy
one. -PdiIadeIDhi0 CAL.
A NEGRO who borrowed enough money of a
Raleigh, n. c., merchant to get MARRIAGE
license explained his action by saving that he
had pretty good cotton crop and had heard
that the farm hands talked of demanding
more wages. He had, therefore looked about,
and having found widow with three able
bodied children would marry her next sun
day and pat the children at work on the farm
Monday Buftlo ErDress.
THE Long and the Short of It.--Frst Gus
tomer-lm afraid the glove Is too large.
Clerk-O, no. These imported gloves
Away shrink and take up so much that
they have to be little fun when Il rst nut on .
second Customer-Im afraid that is too
small
Clerk-Too small! o. no; it will be Just
right, You know these best imported gloves
| always will give and stretch a little Tesas
SifttR0s.
ZONE Of my ancestors won battle during
the Crusades by his skill in handling his ar
tllery." sad the Baron.
But my dear Baron" said his friend, "at
the time of the Crusades gunpowder had not
| yet been discovered"
II know that as well as you do, and so did
my ancestor"
"He brought his artillery to bear on the
| Saracens. and the stupid fools, seeing the
| guns supposed that powder had at last been
discovered, and fed In dismay."- 7eoas SIT
Sngs.
A MELTING MUSE
| AS hot as a boiling pot!
| As hot as soup, hot as family broil;
toll;
Too hot to sleep, to eat to drink
| Too hot, almost. to even think!
! Too hot to harness up and take a drive;
| 1t is as hot aswell, we scarcely dare to tell
But at least you'll agree it's very hot spell :
! 1t is "a hot as-if you insist we must make q
comparison
AS hot rrlnstance, as Hizzoner Carter Harr
son. -CAicdgO Sun.
"How old would you take me to be, Mr..
! Snooks?" she lsped, looking unutterabie
things at him.
Il duuno," he replied, twisting nervously
about in his chair.
'rm awfully old, I assure you. I've seen
twenty three summers
Then you ought. TO wear glasses he re-
piled, earnestly.
"Why, MIR. snooks! glasses at twenty
threeF"
Eyes; your eyesight must be bad"
"rm sure l don't know why You should
think So" she pouted.
because I'm afraid about twenty'summers
have gone by you that you haven't seen. -
Tjd-