Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-08-13
Uncle Remus and His Jug.

lnere were ulaHy e&Clhil"lioho VI "0
tonishment yesterday when Uncle Re-
mus walked into this office. He had
not made his appearance in some time,
and there were various rumors as to his
whereabouts. 1t had been reported that
he had gone back to Putnam county,
that he was farming in the neighbor-
hood Of Decatur, and that he was rails.
ing watermelons on the Sand Town road.
The result of this uncertainty was
vague feeling of uneasiness in the ed
itorial department, and when he made
his appearance yesterday he was heart
lily welcomed-indeed,h he was greeted
with such efiusion that it caused him
some degree of embarrassment. His
broad smilc, however, showed that he
was pleased, and he inquired with affec-
tionate familiarity in regard to the
health of each one of the young men.
Time had dealt very gently with him.
His hair seemed to be little whittier,
but his frame was rs stalwart as ever,
and his good humor as prominent.
"Where in the round world have you
been ?" one of the young men asked.
"Well, SIR" the old man replied with
chuckle, 81 des bin hangin' 'roun
'twixt livin' an dyin', en- dat's bout
much ez anybody kin do deze days. My
health bin poly, but my appcrtite bin
mighty good. l bin sorter scratchin'
roun' for my rashins, but amt bin so
fur but wat kin smell dat big dinner
pot wat hang in Miss Sally's kitchen,
mo- speshually on Sundays. Kaze wen
Sunday come I'se right dar."
Uncle Remus had bag slung across
his shoulder, and as he put it down he
turned to the political reporter and said;
"Bo.s, wat all dish talk year bout
probation?"
"Probation? | haven't heard any
talk about probation.
"He means prohibition, "said the tenn
perance reporter, with sigh.
"Yessir, dat zackly hit. Wat all dish
yer talk bout probation?"
"well, you know as much about it as
we do" said the sporting editor. "lt
means that all the bar-rooms are closed,
and that you can't get on spree"
"Den wat tuck'n fotch dat ar jug
fer ?" said the old man, kicking some
thing in the bag. GLOW come some-
body amt tell me about dis long 'fo
now?"
"Well, / can't say. Haven't you
heard about prohibition before?"
"Co's, up'n year Mars John and
Miss Sally quolliu bout probation, but
dey done git me SO MKT up dat l ain't
know head from tail"
Chow did they get you mixed up?"
"Well, sir, long at fust Mars John he
talk up fer probation en- Miss Sally she
low dat she w ag'in it. Dey had it up
and down. Mars John low dat all de
liquor ought be pod out on de groun',
en- Miss Sally, she low dat Mars John'd
feel mighty bad eff some er his po' kin
'ud come-long en- dey amt no sperrets
in de house fer ter put in de pies en-
fixin's. Den, after dat, hit seem like
Mars John change he min, en- no soon
er is he do dat dan Miss Sally she up'n
change her'n ell dar dey had it. Mars
John say de town gwine ter be tetolly
ruint, ell Miss Sally low dat if it kin be
ruint Ticker would ruint it long time
ago."
"And what did you think about it!"
"Bless yo' soul, honey, don't Ak me.
Wen de wife folks gifts crossways mig
ger better lay low"
"Well, how did you voter"
"Who, me? Well, sir, TO voting
time come Miss Sally she vow got ter
vote her way, en- she gimme a big dram
en- Mars John low got ter vote 'zactly
de way he do, en- den he tuck'n gimme
anudder big dram. Den, time come
down town, n 'er man gimme a dram.
l specks / gittin' sorter ole and fibble-
minded, kase dem ar drains, arter dey
got huddled up toge'er, dey make me SO
sleepy dat l can't walk straight, en- by
de time 1 wake up dey want no mo-
votin' gwine on. Yassir, dat's dies
'zactly de way voted dat day."
"Now, them" said some one, "what
do you propose to do with your jug?"
Uncle Remus smiled all over his coun-
tefIance.
"You all know dat jug?" he inquired.
"Dat ar jug is de same 'ceitful jug wat
l brung up yer long time ago. Dis
make two times you done seed dat jug,
but you amt quainted wild er like is.
Dey amt 10 tellin' bout dat jug. She
de wuss jug dat ever got wet on de in
side. She sho'ly is"
Nv ell, she can pe ueceiiui ho"'
said the temperance reporter. This
seemed 10 amuse Uncle Remus immense
ly.
"who, dat jug?" he exclaimed, "dat
ar jug settin' down dar? Honey, you
better let dat Jug lone. This one er
desc yer beio-de-war jugs"
Sis there anything in it?" the tenn
perance reporter asked.
"well, sir," said Uncle Remus, pick
ing it up and shaking it close to his ear
chit sound like dey sump'in in dar-
hit sound mighty like it. L done prom.
ised dat jug / amt gwine let nobody
smell er de stopper less'n hits me er d.