Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-07-20
NOT FUNNY TO MILLER.
Ingalls, Makes a Comic Speech and Then a
Bitter One.

Bitter One.
Special Telegram 10 the Register.
WASHINGTON, July 19.-Just before
adjournment this evening the Senate was
treated first to an immensely comical
speech and then an intensely bitter inter
change of personalities. The OleOmarga-
rine bill was pending, and its first
clause defining butter included cOlOred
butter. Butler, of South Carolina,
wanted to know what colOred butter
was, gently intimating that he regarded il
as bogus Miller, of New York, replied
that colOring butter was ancient and was
not an imposture or impurity. Then In
gals arose and, assuming an attitude that
only his long, lank figure will permit,
pulled from his pocket a little box, and
from that little bottle, he read the i'm
print: "Wells Brothers, Burlington, Yer
mont. Patent Butter Coloring Mixture y
Then he c0nvulSed the Senate for IL min
uItS Nltu IL HUN lLtltlIlSu' III Nv h'l'
of the virtues of this patent liquid,
q drop of which would give Il golden tint
to "A pail of winter milk. Then ingalls,
pictured the poor pasturagc in Vermont,
and every few minutes would roll out in
IN unctious manner the words 'Burling'
ton. Vermont" Edmunds had come in
meanwhile and joined in the furious fun.
ingalls, told how he got his box while scrv'
ing on the District Committee. A Wash
ingtOn dairyman had appeared to complain
that his Aldcrney butter was underSOld by
DOOR milk butter cOloTcd by this Burling'
ION process. Warner Miller, who has been
pushing the Oleomargarinc bill, grew rest
i've under the taunts, and replying, llkcned
Ingalls, to a vender of patent nOStrum, an
Elixir of Life, on a street corner.
He alluded To his dramatic
performance. Ingalls, could not endure
the retOrt, for in truth he had INDUCED IN
no personalities, but he jumped up and
proceeded to charge that Miller was the
owner of a large herd of cattle; made
cheese and sold butter, and, like Chairman
Hatch in the House, had direct personal
interest il, the BILL and had used every
effort to caiole members into its support
Miller then was white with anger. lie adj
mitted that he owned cattle, churncd but
ter, but no man outsiile this chamber
would dare call him corrupt man. H'
went on with blistering words lngall'
made no response. Their seats adjoin
The chivalric Butler, the conceded peace
maker, arose to oil the waters. He depre
Gated any collision outside, and got every
body into good humor. II was the widest
episode of the session. No vote wa!
reached.
Senator Vance said the Oleomargarin'
bill would result, not in Darwin'S doctrine
of the survival of the fittest, becauSea busi
ness that came to Congress and invoked tn,
arm of the law TO keep it alive at the eX
penSe of other business was unfit to live
and thus it was that
"ProtcCtiOn's battle once begun,
Bcuucathed by bowling sire tO son,
only could bc fought and won
BY taxing every son of gun.
He thought beefsteak needed protection a
we'll as butter, and intimatcd that the sup
porters of the bill were influenced by poll
ticial cOnsi deratiOn that butter, like con
science, made ''cowherds' of them all.
TGrcat laughter. The necessity Of grease
to carry the State of New York two year
hence was what affected them