Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1886-02-25

sald Jones 10 hcntucklan riding
a beautiful bay saddler.
"Pretty fair boss" responded
the Kentuckian with affected in
Thoroughly trained as n saddle
horse, too, amt he ?"
Knows all the motions, ho
does"
What do You call him Pr
"Thcbes."
"Thebes? That's odd. never
heard such name for q horse,
before. What do you call him
that for?"
Because he has hundred gaits.
of course. Don't you know an
Gent history ?"-Merchant TRAY
eler.
Editor Wetzcl of the Lancaster
Eagle, and Editor Green, OF the
Hooking Sentinel, called upon The
president, and Mr.. Green was IN
troduced by Representative Outh-
waite as n haw eater.
"What is q haw eater?" asked
the president.
at is q Democrat who never
uses o pencil ut an election, who
sells all his blackberries because
he can get money for them, and
who eats haws because he can't
sell them" was the reply.
~ never saw any haws," re-
marked the president, "but tho
haw Gators suit me first rate"
First Lawyer-What was the
verdict in young Smiths case?
Second Lawyer-Murder IN the
first degree. The evidence was
perely circumstantial, but there is
no doubt that he was guilty.
First Lawyer-Not the slightest
What was done with MIR. Gill;
cuddyH
Second Lawyor-Ten witnesses
swore that they drank beer in his
place on Sunday, but on cross-ex-
animation they admitted that 1t
possibly might have been weiss
beer, so he was discharged for
want or evidence.
The following notice IS posted
conspIcuously in one of OrovIllc's
(Col0 leading hotels: warming
This is n United States house,
and that is the only language
spoken here. Any guest using the
words tour for tower, root for
route, sweet for suit, commercial
tourist for drummer, will immedi-
ately be waited upon by q commit
tee from Butte county's Col and
given two hours in which TO leave
the country."-Red Bluff Sentinel.
Tho Rev. Joseph Cook makes
the painful announcement that he
preached on Sunday to six people
In q school house, while at the
same time in Chicago there were
SO, 900 people ont to hear an infdel
lecture at a dollsr q head" Well,
only last Sunday the Rev. Sam
Jones drew an audience of 10000
at Cincinnati. 1t doesn't seems TO
be so much a matter of doctrine rs
of style, after all.-Boston Adver-
tiser.
First Actor-"Hullo, old fellow,
back again? [ thought you went
west to star" Second Actor-"I
did; but their spelling is so duced
bad out there, you know" F. A.
-"Spclling bad! What's that got
To do with it?" S: A.-"Well l
could stand most anything; but l
found they spelt star with We. so
came back. Rambler.
The Able Liszt, who is now in
his sevcnty-ffth year, has laid aside
The baton. He replies to an invi-
tation of the Russian Musical Socie-
ty to conduct n concert of his own
works at ST. Petersburg, that he
has strength neither to play the
piano nor conduct.
A Kansas man is saving wood
IN the navy yard at Washington.
Thus the unexpected happens. He
vent there for a post-ofiicc COM
mission, and, up to date, can only
'ay, II came, l saw. Boston Re-
,ord.
ElIphalet Roberts, an old school
teacher, who taught Gen. Hancock
n his boyhood heard of the death
If his pupil on the eve of his nine
1eth birthday from reporter who
,alled upon HIM IN Philadelphia.
Those straight Prohibition tick:
rs are very awkward things in
politics. Tho Tennessee Demo
rats are ROW trying to keep one
,ut OF the field IN the coming elec-
ion.
Tho Earl OF SALISBURY made the
the other day, that "IfI
did not have its 400 city
it would require 49,
100 more police"
Monkeys heads now ornament
he handles of the newest umbrel'
as for men. Fashion ONCE IN q
while manages to have something
appropriate:
A New York paper avers that
he waste food from hotels is now |
old to boarding houses instead OF
,elng worked into hash and Pud- !
iings. /
A little girl IN Oregon contract
ID tho habit of eating dirt. ALI
means tailed to make her desist
md finally the practice caused her
ieath: |
In Japan they are now employ
ng women as telegraph operators.
rwenty-six applicants were recent
y given places in one batch.
Respectable Druggist.
ever deceive the public, bEt Ae.Sase OF the
heap John d.aggists who offer you plaster
ulIed "CapsiCum," "Capsicin," "Cupucin,"
n "Capsieine,," Ind tell YOU it is suhstanti-