The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-04-08
THE MERRY SIDE I

"The office should seek the man"-but it
won't.
"An hail ~ sang the Spring poet. But it only
| showed.
In politics may "smile," and "smile.
and still be a-fiIlin.
1t is charged that Whitney "don't appreciate
Ohio Democracy" Dan. Dalton does.
-
Cleveland is a man of "broad' views-es-
pecially when viewed from the rear.
-.
1.-THE labor troubles settled"-fght till both
sides are worn Out, then "arbitrate.''
For the past few days the creeks have been
like small depositors-making a run On the
banks.
man was shot in Texas, in quarrelng over
a game of pool What are we educating our
boys for?
"Whers is Joe Bowers ?" asks the Ironton Reg
his brother Ike.
| Sam. Jones says "the Lord fishes on the bot
TOM" That is perhaps why so many spiritual
turtles are caught.
| 1uSy are TusuluS IuluSS AZ u rdplu TatC dI
Wabash, Indiana. At least they are over
crowding the cemetery.
Gen. Black finds a mares nest,' says Wash
ington dispatch. This is perhaps part of the
'Ostler Joe sensation.
ga thousand eyes were riveted upon her."
said an enthusiastic critic. She must have been
funny-looking sight.
The man who belongs to a party solely for the
hope OF office, is always the first to lecture his
friends on political duty.
There Is big race in the newspapers between
| Geronimo and old man Payne, to see which
can surrender the oftener.
| Were Stanley in this country he might find
employment in searching for the Cincinnati
| Investigating Committee.
We're glad Jennie Chamberlain, the "Ameri-
can Beauty" has come home-but wish she had
| left all her portraits in England.
-
| Gov. Foraker pardoned poetess out of the
Penitentiary. She got away with the old prison
by firing poem back at it.
Charlie Barcombe, an Indiana young man,
was translated-went up in a cloud. He blew
| in his gun just before he started.
Can you tell me what's the matter with that
watch ?" asked man of a Jackson jeweler
"Yes-it's no account =" was the reply.
Over in Hillsboro they have Justice of the
Peace named Stanforth in Jail for embezzle-
ment. His politics? Oh, yes-Democrat
A big poultry show at Washington c. H., has
raised quite "cackle' among the Washing
tonians, and they are "crowing" Justify.
Grover Cleveland's weight has increased forty
pounds since he became President. That's the
reason he wants to sit down on the Senate
A Washington letter describes Mrs. W. D.
Howells as like dainty bit of old China. "That
means, perhaps, that the lady is "dish-faced."
-
Prohibition of crime don't always prohibit.
Two convicts in the Kansas Penitentiary have
been carrying on a counterfeiting business.
Several shabby wagons containing movers
stopped in Ironton one day last week, but after
taking a look at the place concluded to go on to
North Carolina.
A Portsmouth paper grieves that Findlay has
SO many good gas-wells, while Portsmouth has
none. Never mind, friends, Findlay will blow
up, one of these days, then we will all laugh.
"The old newspapers must give way to the
modern Journals" said ambitious young
scribbler. Yet the New York Herald did not
stop when the Coaltpn Gazette started.
western man says the rage for beaten brass
has become SO great al his house that he has to
60 down to the boiler shops when he wants
good quiet time.
The Greenback party is going to nominate a
ticket in Missouri. They will both keep men,
oranda, to see how many Offices they are nom-
mated for.
Chicago is doomed to destruction by dre and
water. Sam. Jones notified the people that hell
was at hand and now it is discovered that the
lake is raising four inches per year.
The family of Thomas Rollison, of Saginaw,
Michigan, found that eating just before retiring
was productive of a calm and peaceful sleep.
They ate wild parsnips.
"A defeated candidate for a local nomination
which was given q cotored man-remarked at |
Jones' Hall the other night that "he would |
rather be beaten by q colored man than DEM |
ocrat."
topper stopped at the door of doggery and
began beating himself on the head with club.
When asked what he was doing, he said he was
"tryng to demonstrate principle'
Payne and Mclean want to go before the Iu-
vestigating Committee. The sensation writers |
hadn't prepared for this. Is there no way to
head them off?
The Duke of Cumberland has eight tons of
him. He could, though, ifhe was an American
drummer.
An Ohio Congressman said al am no more
opposed to the pending bill than am to drink
ing glass of water.' They set him down
among the opposition.
They Were singing that beautiful hymn,
"Jesus, lover of my soul,'' and all were visibly
When they came to that line, Leave,
OH, leave me not alone" lady burst into tears.
She was on old maid.
Democrats in the Ohio House oppose investi-
eating the public institutions. They are like
man coming down ladder. They don't want
it kicked from under.
MIR. Houk, of Tennessee, says "but two coun-
tries besides this would have permitted the
conduct of which President Cleveland has been
guilty. No-and those two wouldn't have
elected him in the first place.
A Jackson man ran for a nomination and
more than two hundred of his friends pledged
to vote for him. Seventeen of them
did.
1t was good thing the blizzard came little
late last week. 1t would have been horrible
had the smile been frozen upon the face of the
for nomination.
One of the recent Arctic explorers carried a
bottle of whisky over twenty thousand miles,
in searching for friend. He wasn't an Ohio