The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-03-06
CONCERNING THE DOG.
[Rill Nxe. in bos,on Globe.l

[Bill Nye, in Boston Giobe.l take occasion this time to ask the American people as one man, what are most insidious and disagreeable disea Sc known as hydrophobia? When fellow being has to be smothered, as was the case the other day right here in eur fair land, land where tyrAnt foot hath never trod nor bigot forged chain, we look anxiously into each others faces aud in- quire, what shall ve do?
 Shall we go to FraAce at great ex- pense and i'll our systems full of dog virus and then return to our glorious land where we m ly fork over that virus to pes tcrity and thus mix up French hy dropho- bia with the navy blue blooi of fee-born American citizens?
 1 wot not
 If knew that would be my last wot I would not change 1t. That is just wot it would be.
 But again.
 What shall we do to avoid getting im- pregnated with the American dog and then satursting our systems with the alien dog of Parisf
 Ak "a O SC4tO0S m6tbe~i, h1O At AO AO' want to play the Dssdemopa act we must take some timely precautions. What must those precautions be3
 Did 1t ever occur to the average think ing mind that we might squ~eze along for weeks without dog2 Whole fami lies have existed for years aher being de privsd of dogs Look at tho wealthy of our land. They go sn comfortably through life ard die at last with tn, unanimous coaseut of their heirs, dogless Then why cannot the poor gradually taper of on dogs? They ought not to sop all of sudden, but they could leave sff dog at time until at last they over came the perHici0us habit. saw a man in St Paul last week who was once poer and so owped seven varie- gated dogs. He was co16rmsd in that habit But he summoned all his will power at last aAd said he would shake of these dogs and become a man. He dId so, and to-day he owns a city lot ir St Paul, and seems to be the picture of health.
 The trouble about maintaining dog is that he may go on for years in a quiet, gentlemanly way, winning the regard of all who knew him, and then all of sad den he may hydrophobe in the most violent manner. Not oaly that, but he may do SO while we have company He may also bite our twins or the twins ot our warnest friends. He may bite us now aad we may laugh at it, but in five years from now, while we are delivering humorous lecture, we may burst for,n into the audieace and bite beautiful young lady in the paIquet or on the ear It Is solemn thing to think of, fellew- citizens, and 1 appeal to those who may read this, as man who may nOt live to sec satisfactory political reform-l ap- peal to you to refrain from the dog. He is purely ornamental. We may love good dog, but we ought ts love cur chil drsn mere. It would be very, very noble and expensive deg that would agree to feed with my ealy son.
 l know that ws gradu ally become at- tached to a good deg, hut some day he may heccEee attached te ss. and what can be sadder than the sight of a leading cia zeA dTawiag a reluctant mad dog down the street by zaain strength and tho seat of his pan,aloens [ mean his swa, net tho dsg's pants. QT This joke "An OPPo01 hA 1OOA s~NA tn A0 sook will be very readable, and there will se aAetAes joke h it also. e>d tt
 ] have said gOsd deal about the dog, pro and con, and 1 am not a rabid dog abolitieAlss, for no sae lovos to have his olear-cut features Kicked by the warm, vet tongue sf noble dog any moro than do, bat rather than see hydrophobia become a national characteristic or a leading industry here, would forego the dog
 Perhaps all mon are that way, however. When they get little forehanded they forget that .hey were once poor, and owned dogs. lfso, do not wish to be unfair want to bs just, and believe am. Let us yield up our doks Gxd take the affection that we would other wise be- stow on them oa some human heing. l have tried it and it woxks well. There are thousands of people h tho world of both sexes wAo are piAlne and starving for tho love and rnop1y that we daily shower on tho dog.
 If the dog w..ald be kind enough to refrain fropa iz.sroduciAg his justly cele- brated vrys into tho person of those oAly whe bSs him on tAs cold, moist nose, it woI.d be all right; but when dog goes mad he is very impulsive, and he may bestow himself on an obscure man. So feel little nervous myself.