davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
THE TOBOGGAN.

Graphic and veracious Description of the
Great Canadian Sport.
The toboggan is sled with single
runner, which spreads clear across the
bottom of the sled. The top of the to-
boggan is just like the bottom. 1t is
somewhat thicker than sheet of writing
paper and about as long as an after
dinner speech. Its seating capacity is
limited only by the number of people
who can get on it. The urbane and
gentlemanly conductor sits aft and uses
one of his 1.-the and willowy legs for
steering apparatus, by which he guides
the toboggan some way or rudder. 1t
b easy to slide down hill on toboggan.
In fact, after you start down you can't
do any thing else. True, you could fall
off. That is easily done. The flying
machine is not high, so you haven very
far to fall. Still, if you have to fall from
q toboggan half way down the slide, or
else fall down. stairs with a kitchen
stove, you take the stove and the stairs
every time. It isn't so exciting and it
Bn't so soon. The prince and walked
up the stairway for the purpose of
ollulHS uOWI lHC UtlilSttI Ou tODoS"
gan. The president of the club
took his place aft, somebody said,
"let her CO. Then we stopped and
the president said, ssHow did we like
itp' left my breath at the top of the
slide and we had to 60 up and get it.
There it was, great gasp three and
a half inches long, sticking in the air
like an icicle, just where l had gasped
it when we started. took it down,
stuck it into my left lung and began to
breathe again with great freedom.
The toboggan is to any other way of
getting down hill what flying is to going
to sleep. If I was in hurry and it was
down hill all the way I would rather
have toboggan than a pair of wings,
any day.
P. S.-There is usually an angel on
the toboggan with you, which has a
tendency to confirm the impression that
you are going down with wings.
N. B.-A young Canadian of broad
experience assures me that Toronto
angels really and truly have wings, in
somuch that often he has to drive with
one hand, using his other arm to hold
the angel from flying away.
Addenda-I have known the same
thing to happen in this United States
.Burdette, in Brooklyn Eagle.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

The first in conversation is truth,
the next, good sense, the third, good
humor, and the fourth, wit.-Ssctr.
When Fogg heard the landlady be-
low stairs pounding the beefsteak he
remarked that Mrs. Brown was tender
ing banquet to her boarders.-Bostoa'
transcript.
Beware of prejudices; they are rats,
and mems minds are like traps. Pre-
iudices creep in easily, but it is doubtful
if they ever get out Christian Advo-
cate.
The mind of childhood is the ten
derest, hottest thing on earth. Let
parents stand as watchers at the temple,
lest any unclean thing should enter
~ 7. Examiner.
"What is the first thing you would do,
Jones, if you were stung by hornet!'
asked Smith, who had been reading an
article on the treatment of stings.
Howl" replied Jones, solemnly. Anil
the conversation abruptly ended
N. z. Independent.
"A disciple of Blackstone at Albany,
Ga, was met carrying home a 'possupl.
He was asked: "Hello, j., what is
that?'' "'Possum!" aWhat are you
going to do with him?''' "Tm going to
have big 'possum supper. ''How
many will be there?" 1.-TWO; me and
the 'possum!'' -AsJanta Constitution.
John is very kind to the poor"
said Mary, 'sbut after all it may be more
for the sake of praise than doing good.
.'Look here, Mary" said her husband,
"when you see the hands of our clock
always right you may be sure that there
ism tmuch wrong with the inside works. v
Chicago Mail.
The latest anecdote about the ole
lady who thinks she ''knows every
thing is about how she went to 6
church sociable, and as she entered the
church the young ladies said: ''Gooe
evening, auntie, we are glad you came
we are going to have tableaux thi:
evening" Eyes, / know, / know
was the reply. Il smelt 'em when
first came in. y WesterD Rural.
Jaw, 'drawled city swellto coun
try boy, whom he met in the road on'
freezing morning, ''the superlative ge
lidity Of the circumambient atmosphere
renders extraforaneous peregrinations
much less delectable than subtegulane
Gus pursuits, don't you know Gosh
amity,n said the boy, lido it though?
thou ht it was too dang cold for that.
! Merchant Traveller.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
HE WAS DIVORCED.
Uncle Aaron's Qualification and his subse.
quent Disgust.

Uncle Aaron's Qualification and his subse.
quent Disgust.
"Good mornin', Marse Dick said
Aaron Morse, as he stepped into the
store of Richard Kelly, down in Missis-
sippi, and dotted his hat, holding it in
his hands behind him.
Good morning, Aaron. What can
do for you this morning?" said Mr..
Kelly.
.sDa'se got me agin, Marse Dick"
"Who's got you?"
s'Der gran gurer."
sWhat have you been doinge'
ssNuffin, Marse Dick
"You must have done something
wrong, Dick, or the grand jury GER
tainly would not have indicted you
: God, Marse Dick, hain't done
muffin"
'Well, what do they say you have
done?"
.sDa 'scuse me er compromising wild
hog"
81 knew you had been at some devil
ment, Aaron. You've been stealing q
hog, and if you are convicted the court
will divorce you from your wife for two
years and send you to the penitentiary."
s.Hit willp"
Eyes"
81 golly, Marse Dick, OATS good"
s.What! going to the penitentiary for
two years good?"
sNot that part so much, but der I'D
der part, dat what tickle me-
What part?''
Getting dat deforcement from the ole
ooman-dat what plees dis niger"
..Then, understand that you are
willing to serve two years in the peni-
Tertiary to get rid of your wife?"
Oats der conclusion of hit, for er
CONAN dat don't take no intrust in her
husband, and don't do muffin fer he's
sport, and forces him to skarmish in
der woods for rashuns got no dismiss
wild er husband. "
Aaron was tried the following week
and the Judge gave him four, instead
of two years, and now he wants his
wife to sell her two COWS to pay a law
yer to appeal his case to the Supreme
Court. But she rather likes the divorce
herself, especially as it costs her nothing.
Detroit Free Press.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

OF the forty three thousand new
members of the Presbyterian Church
last year about twenty-one thousand
came from the Sunday-schools.-Ch77s-
tiGn Union.
The late Senior Dona susanna
Beintez Vindade Parejo left S30o, wv TO
found a boys school in Madrid, ana
$3.50, 900 in medical charities.
The State of Pennsylvania has
eighteen schools for soldiers orphans,
on which $S,OOO,OO0 has been expended
during the past twenty years. -fAs'd0e'-
plaia Press.
in the 1925 colleges and the other
institutions of learning in the country,
attended by 155, 900 young men, there
are now 21O Y. NJ C. Associations
NJ Y Examiner.
The Norwegians of Brooklyn have
founded hospital for the beneht OF
their fellow countrymen. A deaconess
from the old country has entered upon
the work as nurse.-BrooEtyaa O'ason
A Waterbury paper mentions citi-
zen who removed his daughter from
great female college in consequence OF
the prevalence there of the banetul
and disgusting ihabitss of chewing gum. -
Hartford COurant
The London correspondent OF
Science announces that the old public
schools in England are relaxing their
strict adherence to the classics. "Rug-
bv,n he says, sis about to institute
modern side, and changes in the same
direction are gradually. introduced at
Eton, her great rival, Harrow having
long had something of the kind. y
That was good bit of advice given
bv an old and reverend minister to some
Young theologues who were seeking
| hints as to sermon writing. ''Choose
your text" he said, "then try to hoe 1t
for week. and at the end of that tame
| YOU will be in condition to write. y Ii
! this method of preparation were in more
/ frequent use, audiences might have less
reason to complain of ''dry" dis
courses. Congregatiomalist
In Chicago school, recently, the
class that was reciting the Language
lesson were requested to give sem
tence with the word ''capillary. A lit
tie girl wrote, II sailed across the ocean
in capillary" When asked what she
meant by that, she turned to Webster
unabridged and triumphantly pointed
out this detinition-"Capilary: a fine
vessel" Further Investigations showed
that nearly all the class had made the
same blunder.-The Advanee.
"A CURIOUS company went over from
New York to Brooklyn few Sunday
nights ago. 1t consisted, among 9th
ers, of the Rev. Mr.. Haweis. CORTLAND
Palmer, Andrew Carnegie and tive
daughters of Bob Ingersoll Mr.. Beecher
knew they were there and he arose
to the situation and preached one of the
very best sermons that ever came from
the Plymouth pulpit. After the sermon
he was introduced to the little party.
One of Colonel Ingersoll's daughters
| told him that that was the first time she
had ever been in church in her life,
whereat Mr.. Beecher said that she was
the prettiest pagan he ever saw, and
the priests and the agnostics laughed
heartily at the pleasantry.-N 7. 1Ts,
balase.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

The most remarkable revival in
progress in the world is going on i'll the
Telugu Islands. The missionary WORK
among these Telugus has been attended
with marvellous success, the baptisms in
each year being numbered by the thou
sands. Now the idolators seek to get
even with the missionaries and win the
neople back to the faith of their fathers.
They 90 among the Christian converts ;
bearing on bamboo poles small ldoi
houses. They make a great noise with
drums and shoutings and generally at
tract crowds of people. The MISSION
aries say that there has not IN half .
century been such a revival Of idolatry.
-Chicaqo Herald.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

-Minda Campbell, who died at sa-
Tanah, Ca, recently, aged nlnety-hve
was the mother of Tom Slmms, the
fugitive slave, whose trial in Boston IN
1850 created great excitement, and re-
suited in the decision sustaining the
validity of the fugitive slave law. Bos-
ton men purchased Simms' freedom
after he had been returned South
Chicago Inter- Ocean.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

DR.. PIERcE's "Favorite Prescription" is
not extolled as a "cure-a )" but admirably
potent specific in those chronic weaknesses
peculiar to women. Particulars in DIR.
Pierce's large treatise on Diseases Peculiar
to Women, 100 pages, sent for 10 cents in
stamps. Address WORLDS DIsPENsARY
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, 663 Main Street.
Buffalo, n. v.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
Asking Ones Age,

A lady asked gentleman his age. He re-
piled: 'What you do in every thing''-X
L. So does Taylor's Cherokee Remedy Of
Sweet Gum and Mullen excel all other
medicines for coughs, Group and consump
ton Walter A. Taylor, Atlanta, Ga.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
Il DO not like thee, DR.. Fell,
The reason why, / can not tell"

It has often been wondered at, the bad
odor this oft-quoted doctor was in. Twas
probably because he, being one of the old
school doctors, made up pills as large as
bullets, which nothing but an ostrich could
bolt without nausea. Hence the dislike:
DR.. r. v. Pierce's g Pleasant Purgative Pei
letsss are sugar-coated and no larger than
bird-shot, and are quick to do their work.
For all arrangements of the liver, bowels
and stomach they are specific.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

DR.. SAMUEL K. Cox, Washington, after a
careful analysis, pronounced Red Star
Cough Cure purely vegetable and most ex-
cellent for throat troubles. Price, Is cents a
bottle.
Hon. Thos. L. James, ex-Postmaster-Gen-
eral, Endorses St. Jacobs Oil as pain-cure.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

"HAvE you any old Roman weaponss
Dealer-"We have none in just now, the.
are being-rusted. '-KarIsruher NGchrickte1
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

X Rupture, pile tumors, fistula
and all diseases of the lower bowel Except
cancer), radically cured. Send 10 cents in
stamps for book Address, Worlds Dis
pensary Medical Association, 663 Main
Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

A POPULARITY of stage banquets is the
great variety of supes.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

BILLIARDS resemble matrimony, mas
much as kisses and scratches are common
to both
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

SELECTED miscellany-Mince pie.-Ddn-
rile Breeze.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

No Opiun in Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton. Cures where other remedies fail. Zoe.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

If afflicted with Sore Eyes use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

A MAN may have no ear for music yet
have a mind to play.-N Y. Journal.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

THE most desirable hair dressing ever
offered to the public is Halls Hair Remover
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

PHYSICIANS prescribe Ayers Cherry Peet
oral, on account of its great curative powers
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

WHY is a dirty man like flannel? Be-
cause he shrinks from washing.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

NICKEL-PLATED Watchdog with new
collar.-Cdlifornia Aayerick.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

OUGHT a teamster to have a teeming
fancy?-NatiOn0l Weekly.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

PIXIES ToOTHACHE DROPS curei minute, &c
Glenn's Sulphur Soap heals and beauties. 25c
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corns Bunions
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27

THE latest thing in balloons-Gas.-Siou
Falls Leader.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
Il QUESTION ABOUT
BY0zvm'S Iron
BzI14Ts
ANSW ERED.

The question has probably been asked thousands
of times How Browns Iron Bitters cure every
thing ?" Well it doesn't But it does cure any disease
for which reputable physician would prescribe ioN
Physicians recognize Iron the best restorative
agent known to the profession. and inquiry OF any
leading chemical firm will subsantate the assertion
that there more preparations Of non than OF any
other substance used in medicine. This shows con-
clusively that iron is acknowledged to be the most
important factor in successful medical practice 1t is,
however remarkable fact that prior to the discov-
cry of BROWNS IRON BITTERS no perfect
ly satisfactory iron combination had ever been found
BROWNS IRON BITTERSdthsssss s "st e.aEs
headache. or produce constipation--an other iron
medicines do. BROWNS IRON BITTERS
cures Indigestion, Bilionsness, Weakness,
Dyspepsia, Malaria, Chills and Fevcrs,
Tired Feeling, General Debility, Pain in the
Side, Back or Limbs. III eadache and Neurai-
gia-for all these ailments Iron is prescribed daily
BROWNS IRON BITTERS, hoFs snfs does i1 :
minute. Like an other thorough medicines it acts
slowly. When taken by men the first symptom Of
benefit is renewed energy. The muscles then become
hrmer the digestion improves, the bowels are act"e
The eyes begin at once to brighten the skin c9ars
up: healthy color comes to the cheeks nervousness
disappears; functional arrangements become rcGE-
lar and il o nursing mother, abundant suhteuance
is supplied for the child. Remember browns II n
Bitters in the ONLY iron medicine that not
Injurious Physicians and Druggists recontT}~r.l i.
The Genuine has Trade Mark and crossed red l;ues
on wrapper. TAKE NO OTHER.
St. Landry democrat., 1886-02-27
Don't Give Up.

u
lhave had catarrh
In head and nostriis SO
bad that there were
great sores In my nose.
andone place was eaten
through. I got Ely's
Cream Balm. Two bot
ties did the work. My
nose and head are well.
l feel like another man.
&C. S. MCMILLEN, Sib-
ley, Jackson Co., Mo
We recommend Ely's
Cream Balm where o
cure for catarrh is
called for. 1t is in most
cases a perfect cure
PECK Bros, Druggists,
Grand Rapids, Mich.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-05
MATRIMONIAL ODDITIES.

Two Peculiar Gases Which Came Under
the Observation of Syracuse Clergy
man.
ga while ago couple came to be
married, accompanied by the BRIDES
parents and one or two other relatives, :"
said local clergyman, land 1 at first
refused to perform the ceremony be-
cause of the extreme youthfulness of
the bride. She was pretty little girl,
with light flaxen hair and blue innocent
eyes, and did not appear to be more
than twelve or thirteen years of age.
Her parents, however, insisted that she
was sixteen, and were very anxious that
1 should marry her to the groom, fine
looking young German of twenty-one.
The girl was more than willing, and
finally consented. The mother re-
marked as the knot was tied: There!
I'm glad it's done. She mightn't "a
had another chance in many a year. ,
I hope the poor little thing is happy.
"a fine, healthy-looking young farm.
er came in one night with a large fe-
male of uncertain age and apparently
decided strength of mind, and desired
the usual service. Witnesses were sum-
moned apd the ceremony was about to
begin when the door-bell rang twice in
quick succession, and moment after a
portly, well-dressed lady rushed breath
less into the room and shouted with her
last breath before sinking exhausted
into chair: Don't you marry him,
you can have it!' The explanation was
that the woman about to get married
was the others cook, and had left her
mistress in a fit of pique because she
would not raise her wages, "v--SyrG ust
Standard
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-05
PITH AND POINT.

1T is curious fact that rich relatives
are apt to be distant ones.-Bmlingto
(W.) Free Press.
When you see woman meekly
obey her husband you can be sure of one
or two things--she is either afraid OF
him or is working hirp for a new bonnet.
The way to prevent young wife
from threatening to s'go back to
mamma is to invite mamma to come
to you. This is not a homeopathic
remedy.-Detroit Tree Press.
-"A genuine patriot" said an cleo
ton orator recently, ''myst at all times
be. ready to die for his country, even
though it should cost him his lifei"
cThundering applause. Chicago Trio
N,se.
An employer who had been annoyed
by the tardy habits Of one of his work
men greeted him one morning with the
saluation: "Good evening, siN where
have you been at work to-dayP'-M Y
Herald.
I'll like smart women well enough, :"
said Henderson, "but wouldn't care to
marry woman who knew more than !
did" Sand so," suggested Fogs, .'you
have been forced to remain single. y
Boston Transcript.
-Bagley-'I can not buy this cook,
book. It is not practical enough" !"
Agent-"Not practicalp" ''No, sir. ]
observe that it gives no less than sixteen
different ways to cook beefsteak. +" "a
very good FEATURE 81 don't agree
with you. / would much prefer one
way to got beefsteak. ."->Philadelphia
Call.
New Yorker Ito Boston young wom-
an)-"Shall we take bsbtail car, Miss
Penelopep" Miss Penelope-"What is
'bobtaip car, Mr.. SmithP'' New York
er-"One drawn with a single horse and
without a conductor. Don't you have
them in Bostonp' Miss Penelope-'fO
yes; but we call them Darwinian cars. p
IN Y. Times.
-'It is a curious custom the Japanese
have, my DEAR remarked husband,
"of taking their shoes off when entering
a house." ''The custom is curious" re-
piled the lady, Sin the fact that it i,
practiced at all hours instead of at night
only" and her husband said, 'YesP'
with rising infection, which was about
all that he could say.-Teras Sttings.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-05
COSTLY VANITY,

Silly Men and Women Who Sacrifice Their
Health to the Moloch of Fashion.
The story of Amelia Sheehan, the
handsome young hospital nurse who
became insane through the use of a
hair-bleaching liquid, is typical.
Though it has long been notorious that
there is scarcely any hair-dye or
bleaching preparation that can be used
without danger, a change of fashion is
always sufficient to induce thousands
of young women to employ such per-
ilous cosmetics. And though most
people have personal knowledge in
their own circle of some disaster
analogous to this, the cases which end
fatally appear to carry NO lesson what
ever for the survivors. In this instance
the unfortunate girl is said to have had
beautiful and abundant hair. The
statement that her appearance was i'm
proved by bleaching her hair is not at
all probable. Nature knows far better
how to adjust the tones of hair and
skin than young women do, though
the assertion may seem hard to them.
1t is indeed true that men are not less
vain than women. Only few DAYS
ago the death of an elderly man was
recorded, whose friends were surprised
to find that during his last illness his
hair and beard had become white. 1t
was further discovered that they had
been so naturally for years, but that
the man, unwilling to surrender the
appearance of youth, had employed
hair-dye which finally poisoned him.
This was clearly more aggravated
case than that of poor Miss Sheehan,
and while the tragic termination of her
experiments gives conspicuousness to
her folly, it would be a mistake to con-
| clude that there is ,.nything unusual in
such reckless ministering to vanity
The streets of every town in every civ
ilized country to-day swarm with the
| victims of their own self-conceit. Grip
pied feet, distorted waists, a whole
| swarm of clinging evils directly caused
| by the most barbarous defiance of nat
ural laws, testify to the force and ex-
| tent of the influence which in SO MANY
cases makes life not worth living, merely
to crafty vanity at once puerile and
| absorbing. The sacrifices to this ignoble
| sentiment, moreover, are so prodigious
that perhaps no other human foible
| possesses an equally overmastering in
tiuence. For to put in peril deliberate
ly ones health or life, onSs reason and
even ones vitality, is to do for funda-
mentally discreditable tendency as
much as can be done for the noblest
and most heroic cause. And while
many an act of heroism is the result of
spontaneous impulse, the number is
countless of those who with their eyes
open sacrifice the best life can offer for
the sake of o short period of illusory
triumph over rivals in personal adorn-
ment. 1t will not do to inquire too
deeply into this mystery, however, or
the reality of the progress made in
civilization may come to be called in
question.-N Y. Tribune.
The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1886-02-05
"HIDE-YOUR-EYES."

a Chinese Play and Game-Song Very
Similar to Some American Games.
"Loy Vow, a bright, red-cheeked
little Chinese girl, "blinded' her eyes,
and the rest of the players fell into line
with their hands held open in cup
shape behind them, while Wong Hay
circled around the line lightly touching
the open hands as she passed, and
grooming in peculiar Chinese sing
song tone the following little game
song, much as American children sing:
"Tread, tread the green grass" or
"Green gravel, green gravel, how green
the grass grows:
"Come maidens all, and stand in line.
Put back your flower-like hands to mine
m The pledge @ now it flies; flies ,a,i, away Y
'Tis the lantern feastl Ninth moon COM
Now, maidens. lift your hower-like
To 10y Vow, whom they now called
'Hide-Your-Eyes'', Wong Hay now
sang; 49,. 50, .., !, -
And open this four-fngered fiowerl
Meantime, as she sang, she had drop
ped into one of the hands the little
piCuSo-d blllilUlC VI SOIuc llbUlc hecp-
sake selected for the occasion, much as
American children use button in a
similar game. At the words: ''Maidens,
lift your goldcn-fower hands," as it is
literally translated, all the hands were
raised high above their heads, but
closely shut, so that none could tell
who held the little pledge.
At the words addressed to Glide
Your-Eyes'', 10y Vow came out from
the shed, and, using long stick as if ii
were wand, pointed to the one whom
she suspected of having the little
pledge.
She was not successful, however, fol
the hands opened and nothing was
found there. So she had to try it all
over; while Wong Hay walked about
again, and sang the little oriental mel.
ody.
The second time, she looked very
closely into the faces of her Chinese
playfellows, and she saw SO funny a
look on Qui Fahs that she immediate
ly pointed her out. Qui Fah's hands
were opened amid much laughter ant
merriment, and there was the sought
for keepsake! Then they changed
places, and Qui Fab became "Hide
Your-Eyes" Ella Stertag Cun,n,i,as
in st. Nicholas.