The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-10-23

Ills the MERGE ana ureau cyclone,
can hear its dreadful mutter
And its weird, wild, woeful tone!"
But the youth, though pale, was fearless;
And he said: "Oh hear thy pain;
! Tis the village band who practice
When the Robins Next Again"
-Musical Herald.
*x*
An advertiser says he has something nice
in dresses. OF course he means girls. Give
US harder guess.
When doctors agree, the patient dies;
when lawyers agree, there's no more money
in the case when candidate let's go Of the
voters coat, the buttons is gone, or the vic.
tim has been talked to death.
~
Last summer, one sultry day, eight men
and five women, went in swimming togeth
err in Cedar river, near Monmouth, III.
They have been indicted for this little di-
version! Doubtless the grand jury have
never been at Long Branch, and are not post
ed on the latest social fashions among the
elite,
An exchange says: opportunity makes
the thief. A woman swinging fat purse
on her little finger is an opportunity. The
wearing of these purses may have had bad
effect upon thieves, but only in one way
in exciting their profanity at finding these
purses uniformly empty.
*x*
Fashionable people have gradually left the
ornate and approached the useful in wedding
presents Here is a sample: "A pious old
lady recently sent as wedding presents
pair of Aatirons, a rolling pin, and a motto
worked on cardboard, reading Fight on "
The Joliet RpuJhc.Sun has apparently
started the publication of the "rogues' gal
lery,' commencing with picture of sham
ship-canaller named Ralph Plumb,
-
The same paper informs us that child
died at Streator recently "from being scoid-
ed,' but, as it refers to the supreme clerk
here by the name of A. H. Talbot, we don't
believe word it says.
An exchange asks: "Is gum. chewing a
course Of study in our schools? - OF course
it is, and called Typography, by Gum.
Little shavers, in these days of newspa-
pers, keep fully up on current news; vide
"A teacher in chateohising her class of boys
at Sunday school, asked, who was the
strongest man. A little chap of eight
years answered, Sullivan. Now ask me
who is the best rover"
A New York paper tells of the girls there
getting so lonesome for "fellers" that they
stuff the arm of an old coat with hay and sit
in the sweet moonlight with this max believe
arm around their waists. Here it il differ
ent, as well as otherwise and contrary, as
the soldiers monument in the park well
knows.
As musical news, we give the following
"An Auburn young man, banjo-struck, was
the cause of so much suffering to the gentle
man that lodged in the adjoining room that |
the latter bought a wise, saw and file, and |
according to report, that night, when white
Wings siited through the wall, il was met |
by sonata in + on the saw. The duet was
kept up until a late hour, when the banjoist
gave i'm
A kids conclusions: "a little girl
lately wrote TO her friend Yesterday lit
tie baby sister arrived, and papa ls on
journey. 1t was but a piece of luck that
mamma was at home to take care of it. "
1t is related Of young literary man that
he suggested to his bride that they should
argue some great question, freely anu frank.
ly, each morning, lie took the affirmative,
and when last seen had climbed into the
hayloft and while pulling up the ladder after
him was feeby trying to argue the other side
Of some women are convincing logciaus'
The following item deserves to be widely
because it refers to an evil that a
world has put up with long
enough; 1--WE beg to suggest TO the poets
and novel writers that it is foolish to repre-
sent the sun as kissing so many lakes, rivers
and the like in a land where
pretty girls are so plentiful as they are in
America
Small boys are often very observing, and
can often evolve from abstract propositions a
amount Of knowledge, as for in
stance at is told in Boston that after a
most excellent young woman had talked
earnestly to her Sunday school class for ten
minutes, one of The boys, who had been gaz
IN into hpr facp Yith tho utunGt albanian |