Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-03-07
The ROCKING CHAIR HAslI.

] N- "S~HNhN& SttNtu
!
An Innocent EyfI, which, Fostered by
Lovely Women, Is Destroying tho Charm
OF Home Life.
PHILADELPHIA Prsss.
believe that the alarming increase OF
divorces in this country during the past
two or three years is due in a great meas
ure to the rockingham habit
Men may we'll rise up in alarm and look
about them for means 10 stife the terrible
evil, for the rockingham has insidiously
fastened It's fsngs upon the women Of our
country. A few years ego they were ton-
tent with one plain, uDp.etentious rocking
chair, but now, alas, the indulgent husband
looks sghsst upon bis first annual expendi-
turs for roeking-chsirs, and then goes cut
aud makes an assignment.
knew lovely bride who was endowed
With many gracss Of mind and person, and
all the charms OF tender, confdipg woman
| hccd; she was the idol OF fond husband,
The pride of tender habits and the charm OF
o wide circle OF tried and true friends
She and her husband were not rich, save II
love, but they had pretty home and were
happy.
She began with just one rocking chair.
Even the second caused no alarm. Per.
hsps the fond and indulgent husband may
have encouraged her habit thus far, and
thus nnconsc,ously helped The one dearest
to him on earth 70 that ccurse which could
have but one ending. From the second
rockingiog chair the way was easy to the
third, the fourth, the fifth, and even TO the
sixth. And yet when this woman possess
ed Six rocking. chains her friends did not
seem to realize her danger. They
may have Seen blinded BY affection
When this fair young wife he'd dozen
rocking chairs aud still crAved tor more,
her husband began gently to demonstrate
with her, but be was too late. The habit
had become too firmly fixed. After one
or two feeble efforts TO reform, che gaze up
IN dispair eud rushed on 10 her mad career |
of buyIug rocking chairs. Al day long
she hung about the furniture stores. She
bought big and little rocking chairs. new.
fashioned and old fashioned rocking cbsirs,
upholstered and hard bottomed rocking !
cbairs, camp aud wicker rOckipg-chsirs-
thus she went OF until the furniture IN that
once happy little home seemed TO the tor
tured husband one vast collection Of rock.
ing-chsirs Of every size, style, shape aud
condition.
When the sorrow stricken but patient
man would come home from the lodge at
the still hour OF midnight d large, able
bodied rocking chair would inset him al
moet At his door and knock him 10 the
floor aud fail over upon him. Then, So he
would rise 10 bis tee: another rocking chair
would lsY him loa and bring down upon
his head 6 shower OF bric-a-brac. And
thus he would go from rocking chair to
rocking chair until he would reach his own
chamber, where thirteen rocking chairs
would meet him il rapid succession
aud have a very large amount OF
fun With him. Each one ss he would
meet it would knock fresh oiecs Of bark
from one or the other Of his shins or break
q toe that bad escaped earlier in the battle,
and would then throw hun violently TO the
foor. And his wife, whose reason was tot
tering on its throne from the efsCts OF her
terrible habit, would get up and strike a
light and try to persuade him that there
Sas only one rockirg-chair in the room,
lost one plain, ordinary chamber rocking
chair which he in his wsndarings around
in the dark had fallen over thirteen times.
Poor, del lded woman With his shins
barked in thirteen places, and some twenty
other wounds and Contusions on various
parts Of his person. TIT husband would be
too much vexsd to humor the deiusions OF
his wiEes disordered brain, and holding
himself erect by placing one arm around
the hedpos; and using the most emphatic
language, be would point TO the thirteen
rocking chairs sitting about him in cir
Gle. True, they were ell OF the same psf.
tern, but that was nothing; the time was
when he bad seen twenty rocking chairs o!
the same general styls sill in one room.
Such ecenes could lead 10 but one end
ing. Love could not continue to abide
amid such occurrences. AZ tirst there
we're mere mutteriDgs. then came more
en- pha,ic language, and finally separation
and divorce.
There is nothing that will disrupt q
aoue so quickly az tail sble bodied rock
ing chair, standing fair il q mans way
when be is hunting for his bed or some !
thing in the dark; and the tall, sble-boa. |
led rocking chair never stands else
xhate than ia mans way when
be is hunting for anything in the
dark. I. meets him with extreme sudden
mesa. 1t throws cat 60 warning that it ia
there end about to strike, aud the defence.
less victim goes down IN q heap, con-
fused aud demo-alized wreck OF humanity, !
while the rockipg-chsir, in its own peculiar
demonicsl way, jumps and dances upon
his own PROSTATE form.
Sxeet woman, beware OF the rocking
chair habit, and, nsp, oh man. hearEep
We unto the words that utter: Give tie
tall, able-bodisd TockipR-chsir elbow room
ct midpisht's holy hour!