The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-05-27
HOW TO FEE THE WATERS.
Some Pecnliarities of the White Aproned
Knights of Hash.

"The walters in the very cheap restau-
rants and those in the very expensive ones
are alike, because they are atfable and pleas
ant with customers, whether they receive
tips or not, said man in a fashionable
restaurant few days ago He was an old
ish man with red and pleasant face, an
erect carriage, and the general appearance
OF one who lives well
THE waiter problem" he said, settling
himself back in chair and lighting a cigar,
lis one that bothers a good many people
Ii the experience of one who has spent
nearly all his life in restaurants-as guest,
of course-will be of any use, can give you
mine. A great many people, in fact the
majority, and particularly those who do not
dine often at public eating places, are at
/ heart n little afraid of the waiter OF
| course you can trust the waiter to find this
| out at once. Once he has discovered
it all chance of independence or
| sell respect for the guest is gone. As
my experience includes every kind of res
taurants, from the lowest to the best, |
| speak in this case from absolute knowledge.
| Take cheap coffee and cake saloon. No
| one ever thinks of giving waiter tip in
| such a place as this, and it is apparently
the last thing that enters walters mind.
| He is a square shouldered, bull necked and
happy young lrishman in all Likelihood,
| quick on his feet, given to slamming about
dishes recklessly, and with the voice of an
auctioneer. His one object is TO serve you
as quickly as possible. A customer comes
in, sits down mildly, hangs his head and
waits to be served The chances are that
he'll have to wait long while if his de-
meanor is modest and retiring
Eventually, however, waiter stops in
his giddy rush down the aisle, and grows
scornfulIy: What yours If the man tells
him quietly and respectfully, he is likely to
be asked again, and in louder tone When
| the waiter bring the food he will be more
contemptuous than ever. The more respect
full the customer is, tho more arrogant be-
| comes the waiter. The subject recalls that
very old story of the quiet little man who
walked into just such a restaurant,
and after waiting some time to chain
| the walters attention, told him with great
deliberateuess that he wanted two eggs,
one to be cooked one minute and the other
three minutes, and both to be plunged into
ice cold water before they were brought to
him. Then he said he would mix them TO
suit himself The waiter heard him all out
with look OF blended incredulity and re
| monstrance, and, then raising his head,
| hawled at the top of his voice to the
kitchen: II eggs Then he sped away
without further thought of the matter
"Another man comes i'll the same kind OF
restaurant, raps sharply on the table, and
cries to the first waiter he sees: Gimme
some--corned- beef and cabbage bottle of
chow chow a cup-of coffee apiece of-mince-
pie with a brown. crust Before he has
quite finished the pleased waiter gives him s
friendly grin, repeats the order at the toI
of his voice, and speeds after it He j.
pleased with the man because he knows
what he wants, and asks for it as though HI
had a right to it. This little parable
teaches, first, that you must always treat {
waiter with a certain amount of careless
ness, but never with great respect, nor, OF
the other hand, with abuse. '-Baltimor,
| Harall