Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-05
BRIGHT BITS.


SAYS RUSSIA to Italy and Bulgaria what
part OF the Turkey DO you prefers' The cary
ing IS expected to begin In the spring.-Boston
Herdld.
A GIRL out West ate arsenic to improve her
complexion, and now II Is the universal
opinion Of all the young men that she looks
Ike an angei-S0ner0iJIs JoUrna&.
"WHY do you swear at such little thingfr
Asked she. avs very wrong, you know"
''Ihe size" said he, don't indicate the sting;
Tall oaths from little ache corns grow"
--PHtsbur0 Chronicle.
THERE" said the exasperated editor, as
the sylph like form of the persistent poet shot
up from the toe of his patent leather and was
gently waited over the sill of the office door;
that's what | call rising poet. ~ Y0tksrs
Statesman
Bows" said dying Kentuekian to his
weeping sons, when you go down the river
to New OrleaTs you keep clear of game
called quicker where the Jack takes the ace,
it's Un-Chrietian," and he laid back and died
in peace Aliaa4lphia BetOs.
"MARAR, what book was you readm' 80
late last uight%'
1T was a novel by Dumas, the elder"
"'Eldern l don't b'lieve it. What church
was he elder on, sh'd like to know, and writ
novels?"-The Jpdge.
IN A NEW YORK BANK: Texas VisItor-''I
reckon, stranger. you DO right smart bust
ness:n Banker, promptly-''NY dear sir, YOU
have no idea how extended our business re-
latiOns are. At the present time we have
three cashiers In CanadA."-HeaO York Sun.
kNEw WHEN TO CALL.-ID the ante-rOom
of Minister Of state: lis the Under Seere-
tary Of State in ais Officer
"Yes, sir; but when ne Is in he doesn't re-
eeiVe anybody
All righ,; IN call some day when he isn't
in."--Frsneh Joke.
SEVERAL EXCHAEG contain the announce
ment that "W iman's Metropolitan Club" is to
be admitted into the American Association.
This rs perhaps the hrst public recognition OF
Congressman LAWYERS method of spelling
women, for which he wants Sc, 900 approprl-
ated by Congress Chicago Inter ocean.
DUMLEY-"I paid Robinson S. that l owed
nlm, this morning, and he said that he had
forgotten all about i. It has taught me a
lie son shall remember
smlth-"What lesson has it taught you,
Dumey?"
Dumey-"Never to pay money that owe
until I'm asked for 1t '-Nels York Times.
THE DEATH RATE in Dakota for years past
has been only in 1000. Even this moderate
average for our territory might have been ma
terially lowered had there not been such
popular prejudice against more than four
aees IN a pack OF cords. When other aces
without any Visible means Of support were de-
teeted strayIng into poker game the death
rate was always given boost. The cold deck
aud high rate of mortality go hand in hand
IN the unfcttered West EstelyiRO Bell
THEY SAY those artificial eggs cannot be
beaten.-f ftfs6urg Chr0micbe.
DEFINrTION.- Mother" said little Roc t-
land girl, looking up from her book, what
does transatlantic meanY'
"Oh, across the Atlantic, of course. Don't
bother me, you made me forget my count"
docs trans always mean acrOss2"
81 suppose IL dOes. II YOU don't stop
bothering me with your questions you'll go to
bed"
Then does transparent mean a cross
parentYi
Ten minutes later she was resting in her
little oOuoh.-ROckiaNd Courier.
"HTLLo. Bluh, back from W ashin gton? Did
you get the appointment"
Not exactly: but feel encouraged"
GLOW sON'
"Well, when ! met the President / Just
squeezed his hand "a hard as / could and
called him Grove, aud sort OF let him know
that there was no mugwump frills about me-"
''WellY"
'Well? Why he boxed at me in a queer
sort OF way and sand that when he came to
make the appointment he would remember
me. on, feel encouraged, l do.'- OAtcd0o
Negre