News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-07-01
HE sMELLEO THE MEDICINE.

H0en spring comes IN lSS--,
they'll all turn up at
the home plate.
-Goodals Sun.
HE sMELLEO THE MEDICINE.
A bright little five-year-oId boy was
visiting his father, who belonged to
New York regiment, in camp.
One day, as he was playing before his
fathers tent, he was accosted in pleas
ant way by a sprucely-dressed soldier.
He was accustomed to being noticed,
child in camp being great luxury, but
from this soldier he showed evident
signs of moving away.
"Come here, my little man," said the
officer.
The discerning child replied: 81
don't want to; you are doctor; know
you are a doctor"
"You are mistaken; come here; am
not DOCTOR"
But the little fellow only put his head
out of the tent far enough to say: eyes,
you are a doctor, too; l know you are a
doctor, for can smell the medicine on
your breath"
That New York officer never received
any other name afterward during the
wal OItCCttyO LcItyC|"
A CoMMoTIoN.
There was a commotion in the dimly-
lighted parlor, and a moment later,
when Maud's papa entered, Maud was
sitting demurely in one corner of the
room while Maud's George occupied the
other.
"Well, George, how do you come on
nowadays p greeted the old gentle
man, cheerily.
ooh, l guess I've been holding my
own" replied Maud's George, with a
smile
$50, so been holding your own, you
sly dog ? Assumed proprietorship al
ready, eh ? and she was willing to be
held, I'll warrant Well, well, times
haven't changed much in twenty-five
years it seems" and the old gentleman
chuckled, while Maud blushed, and
George and the lamp tried to draw out
of sight.-Ieras .SVtings.
ALL RIGHT NOW.
Bridget had been for years faithful
servant in the family of clergyman in
a New England city. She had been
frugal and saved up 81, 900. In course
of time a suitor came. He was Is years
her Junior, but he wooed and won her
three years ago. He has never earned
a dollar since, and the 81, 900 has al
most all melted away. Bridget has been
very uneasy all the while at seeing the
money she stored up after so many years
of labor disappearing But the other
day she went to see her former mistress,
and her face frightened as she told her
piece of good news that seemed to be
a promise of prosperous days; her hus-
band had joined the Knights of Labor.
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
CLEVER GEoRGIE.
George is four years old. One day
the youngster had been taken with a
slight attack of prevarication, and,
wishing to impress upon his infantile
understanding the sinfulness of telling
fibs, the father related the story about
George Washington and his little hatch
ct. closing with the remark that George
Washington was good boy and never
told lie
The child sat in deep thought a mo
ment and then said:
"Papa, toodent he talk 2"-Boston
Record.
A CASE OF DEAD OPEN AND SHUT.
"Iambie dear" ''Yes, dovey dar-
ling" ''Is he going down to the hor-
rid: club tonight, duckie ?" eyes, |
ownest ownie.'' mot to-nightie.' >
''Yessie." ''No. sweetie" eyes,
dearie. y 'Bet HIM a dollar, lovey."
"Why ain't I, birdie ~ because
sugar plum, as you go out into the front |
hall you'll see mamma, my. own dear
mamma, who dotes on you, sitting on |
trunk; she's just arrived. Won't you
please stay home, sweetie ~ He stayed. |
-BURDETTE.
AN ANXIOUS HOUR.
He had been out for days fishing, and
as he proudly displayed the contents of
his basket to his wife, she exclaimed:
ooh; John, aren't they beautiesl But |
I've been so anxious for the past hour,
dear!"
''Foolish little one ~ said John, caress-
ingly; why, what could have hap
pened to me ?''
"Oh, l didn't worry about you, love;
but it grew so late I was afraid that be-
fore you got back to town the fish mar
kets would all be closed"
THE NATIONAL GAME.
Young Man (to dealer in sporting !
you base ball suits
Dealer-Oh yes, sir. l can furnish
you with anything you like in that line.
Young Maxwell, you can get me
up a suit made of chilled steel with lit
tie sharp pointed spikes sticking out all
over it.
Dealer-But, my dear sir, you couldn't
play ball in such a suit as that.
Young man-Oh, I'm not a player;
I'm an umpire.-N Y. SIN.
EXCESSIVE EXERCISE.
'The dairy cow" remarks the Agri-
cultlriSt, requires very little exercise" "
in mind and stay out of the pasture.
There is no doubt that MANY good
dairy COW has been ruined by having so
much of her time occupied in assisting
summer boarders over the pasture fence.
Even the strongest COW feels faint and
anguid after pitching a fat woman on
to the top of passing load of hay
Brooklyn Eagle.
CHANGE.
Three gentlemen went together into
Philadelphia restaurant and gave their
order Presently they changed their
minds, and one of them said to the
waiter: 81 say, waiter, we three ordered
CLAIMS a while ago, didn't we2 Well,
we have changed our minds. Instead
u CLAIMS bring US three chops" The
waiter said all right, " and then loudly
;alled to the cook; "Three chops for
hree CLANS ?'-Teras Sjttjngs
SOUND ADVICE.
Papa" said a very young woman,
when young gentleman throws a kiss
o YOung lady what shnuld shn do 2,,