The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1886-01-16
THE BOXED EAR.
Elsa Slnnal.

Mr.. and Mrs, streItlg were a yOun.
married couple. They lived in a larg
house in Berlin, in which there were sew
eral other families, Once he.was in tn,
sitting room awaiting her return, She re
turned about . o'clock, and apparently il
the best OF humor, for Bhe was laughing
when she entered the room.
He,-YOu must have had a jolly tint
Of 1t, Eliza.
She (still laughing)-1u bet anything
in the world you can't guess what l an
laughing about, o, it was just too funny
for anything, and before removing hel
hat and cloak she sat down in,a chair, and
took another hearty laugh.
Il haven't the slightest idea what you
laughing about"
"Well, I'll tell you at once, and re,
Iisye your curiosity: Mr., Van Duzen
body"
"Yes, he did, He gave her such a box
on tho ear at the supper table that some
the company covered up their heads
with the napkins for fear oil being hit by
the lying s%plinters. 1t sounded like hit
ting . beefsteRk with the flat slde,of IN ak,
or blowing open a safe, He wanted the
on the right side OF the table on ac-
count oil his weak eyes. She wanted to
put It on the left side OF the table, 80 she
could the better show Off her diamonds
lie pulled the lamp over to the right, and
she pulled 1t back to the left. They did
half q dozen times until / was afraid
the lamp would explode. All at once she
grabbed up the lamp, andBa it down in
tho middle Of q big digh OF spinach, then
she caught 1t fair and square on the left
cheek. / had to laugh at her stupid look
when he amaCked her face, but ! was very
angry at him, Tor think that the man
who strikes q woman Is o miserable
coward"
"0h, yes; very often he is."
"Very oitenI No, sir, the man who
Q woman is always q wretched
coward"
"But suppose she exasperates him be.
yond,enduranceP There arc such women"
"Have you got the hardihood To defend
hat brute Van Duzen for brutally assault.
his wife"
"By no means. All I Say Is that there
are cases where o woman ought to be
slammed against the wall until she ad.
heres to IT,"
"By saying that there arc such cases do
you want to bring about that sort OF q Cri.
sis In this family, eh?"
"Great heaVenBl no, not evon in o
dream do / want to put such q CataClasm
In motion"
m%anner2"
~ am laughing at the idea OF Van Du.
zen cutting his wiie's ears"
"Ho Is q brute and you are no better,
You men always do uphold each other In
your deyillsh rascaltiy. l suppose you
would like to follow his example and box
my ears"
mo, I would not proceed to such OK.
trelne measures, although you do love to
quarrel sometimes"
"Do you dare 10 intimate that, under
any circumstances, you would box my
"oh, no; I'd be afraid to take any such
risks, although you are very provoking at
"Do you say that Liam provoking
that ! Ike TO disputeP"
my dear, be calm; don't you romem.
Der how you insisted this morning that
the actor, Haase, Is blonde"
"And 90 he ISL"
"But l toll you that he has dark brown
hair and dark eyes2"
"And l tell you that he Is a blonde,
You arc a llarl" she screamed.
"All right, i've Just as you say; but please
don't box my ears" he retorted,
"You needn't try any Of your feeble sar.
Casm on me-"
"Once more I say you are right. His
dark hair has turned into a beautiful old
gold just beCRuRo you say so. You could
be bottled up and sold for hair dye, you
are q source Of revenue"
III you were q gentleman, which you
are not, never was, and never will be, you
would have admitted your mistake and
asked my pardon, but that is moro than
could be expected Of you. Nobody can
make q silk purse out Of a pigs ear"
"Thank you, dear. Now, II you have
no objection, we will close the debate"
I'D like to know how you came to
know 80 much about that actor, Haase. l
wonder II you are not In tho habit OF 70.
ing behind the scenes and assoCiating
with actors and actresses, instead Of spend
ing your time with your amily7"
Mr.. streitig sighed heavily, and turned
his eyes up TO the ceiling.
"That'B' right. Keep your mouth shut.
Don't give yourself away. Don't answer
any Of my questions. You believe In the
Ask me no questions and I'll tell
you no lies.h
II am not feeling we'll, and II you would
only give mo only a partial rest I would
regard II IN tho light OF apriCeless boom"
~ think you might make o feeble OF.
fort TO act the part Of q gentleman"
"You' said awhile ago that IL was I'm.
possible for inc to do 80, What Is the use
Of my tryingY What would you think Of
me Il l were to expect youto quit quarrel.
Ing for q whole day."
E16 WHlkdu lutU tu6 He1b TOOu Will u
gesture Of despair. She followed him UP,
aud said tauntinglyi
70, yes; you think II was something
grand and noble for Van Queen 10 box
his Wiie'g earg, Now, let me warn you,
George, don't you lot yourself be tempted
10 ever raise your hand to me, or I'll
lie said nothing but he walked out
into the kitchen and glageq out into the
darkness.
40 Yes, guaeh your teeth az much 40
yeu please, and Bhrug yotr shoulders II
YOU feel like II, but don't you ever lay
your hand on mo Or ITl-Ill-
He turned 10 walk Into the next room.
She got In front Of him, and shaking her
finger under his nose she saidi
'Just touch me II you dare, you piLiiul
bully. You think because ! am q poor,
meek, feeble woman, who never says any
thing TO anybody, that YOU pan tfample
me under foot, but l tell you, George, be.
warel bewatel Even the worm that ID
tod on will turn"
nPlsase don't Rouge my eye out. You
have been holding yotr finger In my eye