Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-10-24

oy ookiDg INTO these. three mana
somsly. bound and rather thick volumes
attiaeted my attention. Itook one up
and opened It. Ny own name stared
at ne from the title page, aud under
meath ] saw tie magic words Fifth
Fdi'icn."
hOle vi my surprises nsa Deen uqdli
to this. l felt like one in dream.
Here was my great work evidently
written, printed, published, and sue
cessful, and l could remember nothing
about it. Could my African fever have
destroyed my memory? Had ], before
left home, achieved the loDg-contem'
plated masterpiece, and left it in the
publishers hands impossible ! A
mother may forget her sucking child,
but an author cannot forget the fruit OF
his brains-Ihe offspring Of his genius
Ny genius had been childless, OF that
was certain, and yet-,hree bulky vol
umes, closely printed, aud " tifth edi-
ZION" on the title page!
was SO much dazed by the sight OF
my oan name and those two most an
expected words underneath il two
words significant Of fame and fortune
| n my chosen world-that it did not oc-
cur to me for a moment TO look at the
title of the book itself. / began to turn
over the pages instead. | caught sight
of the names that we'll knew, and
plunged into the midle Of an anecdote.
Could ever have written this? Aud
# could have been so i'll. advised a. to
put it on paper, by what misfortune
had it got into the printers hands?
"The editor of Scandal is a ma
whose own life would sell half dozen
numbers of his paper if he would con-
sent to relate the disreputable side Of
t"-wby, that very editor had been
one Of my most reliable employers in
be past he would never print para
graph Of mine again And what came
next? 1.-The meanness Of Lord Selco
yer in money matters is notorious. If
he has not inherited the apron of hi
shop. keeping grandfather, he has kept
he calculating faculties and the grasp
ing disposition Of that immediate an
ces,or unimpaiTed."
felt my lfgrowiDg hot and cold. No
wonder that had been cut at the club
ard passed unnoticed in the London
streets. | cast my eye to the top of the
page, and saw printed there, " The Dl.
airy and RecollectiOns oftho late Thomas
Rodney"
This, then, was my great work, and
the one by which | was to be known to
the world 1t had had large sale |
understood now why my wife had
full pocket; but it must have alienated
from me every friend had in the world
bad prided myself on my shrewdness
of observation, on my quickness in de-
;ectiDg the faults Of my acquaintance,
and had amused myselfby noting these
down for my own ediiicaticn, and for my
consolation in moments when realized
that | was underyalued by the world.
Now hey were all printed and publish
ed; my comments on Mrs. Simpsons
bsd DINERS, my reference to Lucnda's
false hair ard scheming ways; my dis
gust at my son. in-lsw's bad manners and
want of polish. turned over page after
page. and read with terrible interest
all that had recorded there. Most OF
The names were disguised by the use of
initials only but the disguise was a
ye,y transparent one. The greater the
reputation of any person whom men,
tened, the seyerer was my criticism
upon that persons character. ] showed
up the heroes as disguised towards and
the philanthropists as secret cheats. |
revealed to a delighted world the strong
provincial accent Of On elegant writer,
ard pleasantly Mortified serious people
BY telling some anecdotes regarding the
early life Of an eminent divine. No
mans Greek was safe from me, and no
mans home was sacred. There was
nobody whom | had ever met, Of any
consequence in the world, about whom
| had not put on record something
which lie would have desired TO be for
gotten. If any man succeeded in es-
Gaping my criticism himself, he had
some ere belonging to him whom | had
dragged forward into unpleasant pub
licity. A fastidious father had laugh
ter who made herself ride ulous an
prescriptions mother had a son
whose morals were too lax for con-
tinued residence in his native country.
Every body S cupboard.door was thrown
opon by my nimble fingers, and his
household skeleton stood revealed on
my csustic pages.
Twas 90 much absorbed in my read
ing that | did not notice the entrance Of
my friend. and ! was only aroused by
tho remark Terribly interesting, is
it not: Everybody finds it So"
/ looked round with start and saw
that my friend had taken seat behind
me, and vas watching me with an ex.
preston of intense amusement. /
stared at him blankly. | did not know
what to say, for I had just read an
anecdote to the effect that his house
was dirty and his habits inhospitable.
9" lie ought to be thought Of with in
dulgence," so had concluded, " be-
cause be so seldom asks any one to
taste his very bad wine" Ny thumb
was on tho paragraph, and | bad not
the presence of mind to remove it.
"Ah, see where you are-page
2l6, volume /. Capital fun, isn't it
Ny copy always opens there. Every
body's copy has & place where it opens
naturally, and they are all different.
Our friends look it up when they come
to see us. put a marker in mine to
save time. It's had a roaring sale,
that book has. Everybody recon-
mended it to somebody else; it was a
reveng o and relief to ones own feel
iDgs. Have you seen Rodney's book.
and how he cuts into So-and-So ?
Then the fellow would get it in a
hurry and find himself there. Ha
ha."