The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-23
Very PARTICULAR.

VERY PARTICULAR.
A lady on a Rock Island train the
other day had q dog with her, which
seemed to be out of sorts about
something, and disturbed the passengers
not a little by it's whining. At length a
man who sat in the next seat forward
faced about and said:
els the little fellow sick2"
ooh, no." said his mistress; 'sbut I
think he wants a drink of water"
'Then I will get him some" said the
gent, good naturally, as he took a cup
from his satchel and started to go to the
cooler.
Hold on!" exclaimed the lady with
alarm, as she handed him a cup Of her
own. ''Takc this, please. l am very
particular what cup my dog drinks out
Of"
After watering the pup, the stranger
went into the smoker and offered the
brakeman a quarter to kick him.
Chicago Herald.
A STARTLING ANNOUNCEMENT.
Two rival washer-womcn called upon
q lady ut the same time for the purpose
of soliciting her patronage.
'Shure, ma'am," said Mrs. Mullins,
glarlng at Mrs. Barney, 'syou'd niver
be thinkin' of ~trustin' your clothes to
that Mary Barney, for she do drink like
a fish, ma'am."
"Drink, is it2" here struck in Mrs.
Barney. can phwat right have We to
say that, Ann Mullins, We beauty2" And
then turning to the lady, she declared,
solemnly GAS thrue as l stand here for
ninst We, ma'am, We couldn't drink more
nor Ann Mullins yersilf. No, ma'am."
-RasGr.
STAGNATION OF
"Sold anything while I was gomez"
asked the shoe store man of his new
boy;
'theyoung man.
"Half sold u pair of boots!" roarcd
the merchant; ''this is not a cobbler
shop, you base plcbeian!"
81 know" replied the noble lad, fear
Iessly; "but a man with a peg leg came
along and I sold him half a pair of split
leather boots at French calf prices"
The generous merchant faltcrcd a mo-
mont. and then fell upon the young
mans neck and wept-cried like a child
because he didn't get more for the
boot. -BURDErTE.
THE STYLE.
"My deah fellah," said Van Duden,
"you weakly must learn to hold youah
cigawettc bettah. You see, I am a bit
oldah than you, so l don't mind telling
you that some of the men at the club
actually have remawked to me on the
shocking way you smoked. Nevah
again take your cigawette between
youah fowe finger and youah thumb.
Always hold it eithah between youah
two first fngahs or between youah
thumb and second fngah, and invawi-
ably elevate youah little fingah at the
same time. "-Chicago Tribune.
AN ORPHAN CHILD.
Good mornin', Mrs. O'Raherty. I
hear We was out to the orphans at Cold
SprlngT
81 was, Mrs. O'Flaherty. An indade
an I'll niver forgit the beautiful scenery
of half q hundred little ones widout any
father nor mother. Sure an they're
trated SO noice and are taxed SIGH good
care OF that me an me ovid mon are
goin' to see if we can't make an orphant
of our little. Jenny an put him out
there"
Faith, an it's sense We be talkin'
now. We have jist as good a right to
have q orphnnt child as any one else. -
kentucky State Journal.
THE WHOLE HoG.
A Chicago man who had been ap-
pointed receiver for a certain firm went
to q lawyer and asked:
"Out of about $50, 900 passing
through his hands how much ought a
receiver to profile"
"Well, about $1s, 600, was the reply.
The receiver locked disappointed, and
the lawyer asked If he had expected
more.
''Why, I can't possibly see what bust
ness any one has with the other So, O0O,"
he replied Wall Street NeUs.
THE sECRET OF SUCCESS.
Small Boy-A cents worth of pea
nuts, aunty.
Auuty-Arrrh! be off wild We. Dive
think it's meself that would be afther
scllin' a cents worth of peanuts?
Small Boy (around the corner)-Gim-
me a cents worth of peanuts, CARR
baldi.
Garribaldi-6i, signor; vera goodu
peanut. fresha roasta.
MILWAUKEE, Is ALL RIGHT.
1t is strange what stories will get cir
culated abroad. For instance, it has
ilppg been croaked about the country
thai Milwaukee is not a good newspaper
town. And yet it is q custom in Mil
waukee upon each holiday for a brewing
company to leave a key of beer at each
daily newspaper Office. And there are
thirteen brcwerics in NIL
aoo.,Ipe .Lo,,ronJ