Western cyclone., 1886-08-19

Mrs. Maguffn. Indeed! You don't
say? 1t must have been interesting"
Yes, it was. The first baseman's sister
got married to the short stop.
Mrs. stiilpoor-And SO you really sail
tomorrow for Europe, Mrs. Newlyrich?
Mrs. Newlyrich-Yes; everything is all
ready. Mrs. Stillpoor-Has your hus-
band obtained a letter of credit yet t?
Mrs. Newlyrich-Oh, we shan't ask for
credit. John expects to pay cash down
for everything.
Deacon Skuller- mawnin, par
son. Use been 'pinted committee for
to find out when 'twould be 'venient for
de bredren en- sisters to glib 'sprise
party. Parson Holdback Bout fohty
yeahs from no, Brudder Skuller, bout
fohty yeahs, chile. 1t will tax bout dat
time for me ter revamp from de las one.
At the Furniture Dealer's.-Will you
have black walnut or some other wood?"
inquired the dapper dealer, briskly.
(Which is the cheapest?" inquired the
inexperienced young benedict. "Well,
we have some very fine chestnut sets
that" mo, thank you," interrupted
the smart young wife. eff we desired
second hand furniture we could undoubt-
edly do better at the auction rooms"
"Gentlemen," explained New Eng
land merchant to his creditors, as they
found the sheriff in charge, "this failure
is not my own fault. No man ever
worked harder or made closer bargains.
But we are told, sir, that your wife has
a silk dress that cost $3.50" "That is
true, sir; but it is one of the evidences of
my economy. made the dress maker
knock off $40 from the bill before I
would pay it."
Gus DeSmith wore a gloomy look a
few days ago. Gilhooly inquired, You
seem depressed, Gus; what is the mat
ter?" Il am awfully down in the mouth.
l was out in my new buggy yesterday
and [ ran over a child" THAT must
have been a terrible shock" Eyes; and
the worst of it is new buggy never gets
over that kind of shock-it hurts the
springs. l don't see what policemen are
for if they can't keep children out of the
streets"
Wood pulp is destined to be applied
to large number of valuable uses. It's
manufacture is in its infancy, and will
soon demaHed much of the surplus water
power of Maine. -LeaUlStOn Journal
The Cleveland Sun has heard of one
mushroom fashionable, who when asked
what business her husband was in,
naively answered: ooh, he's capitalism
On another occasion she gravely in
formed her friends that the new house
her husband was erecting was to be in
1.-The Westlake stylep'
School Teacher-Master Kirby, what
part of speech is "mole?"
Master Kirby-M0le's a noun.
School Teacher-You may describe it.
Master Kerby-The mole is an ami
NAL.
School Teacher-No, 1 mean you may
parse it.
Master Kirby confused oh, yes
mole, molar, NOTES.-THE Bits.
An Augusta citizen, while driving his
family out to Hammond's yesterday
went to turn out near Whitten's black
smith shop when the wagon was cap
sized and the occupants emptied out,
none of them being hurt fortunately.
One of the passengers was little child
hardly able to walk After rolling over
several times she managed to gain her
feet and exclaim: "Papa, don't do that
again, will you."-Kennebec Journal.
Millionaire Russell Sage got tired of
recreation at Saratoga yesterday and
was down In Wall street when the stock
exchange opened for the days business.
And here is a part of what man worth
$5O,O00,O00 or so did in one day: At
tended the meetings of four boards of
directors, received visits from two dozen
Wall street men on business matters,
lunched with Jay Gould, looked over
his brokerage Office accounts, dictated
a score of letters and wrote three or four
others himself, talked straight half hour
with hOrseman about team of trot-
tiers that he is thinking of buying, and
found fault because the day was too
short York Times.
1t was Maine girl of whom the story
is told that she refused to marry most
devoted lover until he should have
amassed a fortune of $4,000. After
some expostulation he accepted the de-
cree and went to work. About three
months after this, the avaricious young
lady, meeting her lover, asked: "Well,
Charlie, how are you getting along?"
"Oh, very we'll, indeed" Charlie returned,
cheerfully. I've got SIS saved" The
young lady blushed and looked down
at the toes of her walking boots. and
stabbed the inoffensive earth with the
point of her parasol. II guess" said she
family, Il guess, Charlie, that's about
near enough"-Harpel'S Bazaar