Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1886-01-29
Celestial Humer,
China Review.

0OteS, SelecleQ from the 'dSlO Lin
Kuang," or Book of Laughter"
some of which are interesting be-
cause they are identical with stories
of western civilization, while others
have a peculiarly Celestial accent:
Two persons over a stove on a cold
day, warming themselves, were over
heard lndulging in the following dia-
logue: No. 1, apathetic, and given
to verbiage, addressed No. 2, reputed-
~ hot-tenpered and decisi ye, whose
clothes he noticed smolderinc, as fol-
lows: "My dear friend, there is some
thing l would like to speak to YOU
about; l have seen it for some time.
and all along l have wanted to tell
you, but, as people say your temper is
fiery, hesitated; on the other hand,
If do not speak you may be loses
so have come to the conclusion q
last TO ask your permission to do so. !"
"Out with it, " said the other. "Well,
your clothes are burning" mildly
continued No. l. "Why the deuce"
cried No 2 in passion, as he observ-
ed considerable damage already done,
could you rot speak at once9" ut
is true then what people say; what a
temper he has got" muttereG No. I,
as he lszily moved off.
a woodcutter was at work in coz
cert with his son, while his little
grandchild played near them. The
Old man accidentally cut the old man s
finger, whereupon the irate sufferer
called his father blind old fool.
You SON of a dog" cried the little
boy, how dare you abuse your
The following is told of an incorrig-
IDLY idle offspring of a literary father
a youngster, having a great disin
cllnatlon to study, was shut up in a
closet, with strict injunctions to apply
himself. Stealing near, the parent.
TO his delight, heard the boy droning
over his book, and was presently still
more pleased by hearing the supposed
student exclaim, 81 understand il. "
The excited father rushed in, crying
out, Il am proud, my son, that you
have at last mastered that work. "
Yes, always thought books were
written but to-day l found they are
printed"
Come home to dinner," cried a
good housewife to her husband at
work in field. "Ail right, he shout
ed, ''as soon as 1 have hid my hoe. "
At dinner his wife demonstrated with
him for shouting so loudly about hid
ing his hoe. Il ana certain" said she
1.-The neighbors have heard you, and
someone has already stolen it. "Struck
with the remark, the man returned to
the field, and sure enous h the hoe was
gone. GA returning to his house, i'm
pressed with the widom of her caution
he whispered in his wife's ear, "the
hoe is stolen"
The following inpromtu, though
consequent on fall, can not be look
ed on as the outcome of deficient un-
derstandlng. A man stumbled and
fell. Trying to rise, he again fell.
Hang it." he cried, IF had known
| was to fall again, l would not have
tried to get
A woman was tanning the corpse of
her husband, and being asked by the
nelghbors why she famed dead man
in the middle of wiuter, she replied
my husbands last words were, wife
wait till l sm cod before you marry
| again.
The feminine propensity for con-
eepllng age, and resentiug imperti-
nent questions in regard to 1t, is com
| mon to all times and nationalities
but this does not detract from our ad
mlratlon of the trick by which the
truth was got at it in the following
instance: A man, newly married.
| thought, when his wife unveiled for
the first time, that she looked rather
old and wripkled. Telling ner so,
he as ked her real age, when she re-
pied, As or 46." You wrote in the
marriage contract SO years." said he,
but you look even more that As or
46." At last she admitted SO. The
husband was still doubtful; SO he be-
thought himself OF stratagem for
getting at the truth. Jumping up he
said, Il must cover up the salt be-
fore going to bed, or else the rats will
eat 1t all before morning" ''Well,"
said his wife, laughing, II have heard
OF and seen many strange things in
the ty-eight years of my life, but
never saw Or heard of rats eating
salt before"
A spirit about 10 be re-embodied
was, at the final interview with the
lord of hades. informed that he was
to be born into rich family, and
would become very wealthy. 81 don't
want it, said the spirit, lust give me
enough for food and clothes, that is
sufficient" mo, no." was the reply :;
you must have at least a few thous-
and dollars; it would never do to let
you have too easy life"
A noted liar once told friend that
ne had at home three precious things:
bullock which could run one thous-
and miles day; fowl which crowed
at the beginning of each watch, day
and night, and dog that could read
books. The friehd intimated that he
would lose no time in seeing, with
his own eyes, these marvels. The
man did not expect this as his house
was somewhat distant; so he went
home and told his wife that he had got
caught at last, and that to morrow
the man would arrive and he would
be disgraced Never mind" said
his spouse, ''leave that to me; it will
be all right; only you must keep out
of sight" Next morning the visitor
arrived. and, being met by the mis-
tress, asked where her husband was
''He has gone to Pekin," she replied.
when will he be back2" I'm eight
or nine days" "Why, how can he
be so quickG" HE has gone off on
our fast bullock, and can do it easily
81 hear you have also a wonderful
fowl" said the visitor, and behold, as
he was speaking, small cock crew.
That's it" said the wife, ''he crows
at the beginning of each watch, and
also when a visitor arrives" 81
would also like to see your learned
dog" he said. "Ah," said she, Il
am sorry; but you see we are very
poor; SO he keeps a school in the
city"
A doctor opened drug store, but
for long time had no customers; at
last one customer came. When sup
plying his wants, the vender observ-
ed that the drug was full of we-vils.
"Whst is this7" said the buyer. Kiang
tsan" medicinal larvae, replied the
doctor. But" said the man. "Kiang
tsan are always dead" YES" said
the doctor. ''but you see they could
not remain dead after eating my medi-
cine"
A doctor as punishment for caus-