The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-06-28
CRANkS AND LOVERS.

The Trouble They Cause Policemen at the
Capitol.
Cranks are drawn to the capitol like birds
about a beacon light There is an officer
placed on duty up IN the home expressly to
keep them from Jumping oil. Not a day
passes while congress is IN session that they
are not at the capitol Cranks, newly mar
ried folks, and lovers tend naturally toward
the dome, with a view probably of getting
nearer TO heaven There is turn in the
stairs that is known as the kissing corner.
1t is proverbial that lovers never pass up
to the dome without stopping there to-take
breath 1t is said that properly consii-
tuted girl always gets tired when she reaches
that point, and young man was never
known TO object Inc turn is so situated
that two persons standing there can be seen
from neither above nor below 1t offers a
great temptation to rest The whispering
gallery has become So we'll known that
young folks who don want their secrets
carried to the other side of the dome and
make public property of it by the echoes
are very careful to keep quiet when they
reach that elevation.
Cranks, if they are recognized as such
are not allowed to so on the dome, but they
aic oiNu1 piNhiiI LVi bpptE-
tunity TO slip up Several attempts have
been made by these Adventures to step out
into space in pursuit of eternity, hut as yet
only one has Leen successful One man was
caught by the tail of his coat Just as lie
stood ready for plunge forward Many
have been caught calculating with insans
eyes the distanne TO the concrete below.
They have always b en- induced TO go down
. iTt,aY
Very innocent and harmless looking men
will stop at this point as they go climbing
up the crowded stairs. ami will at once be
come engrossed by the beauty OF the great
circular floor of the rotunda and their eyes
will get bright and round at the prospect.
Then they will begin climbing over the rail
in great hurry, as if they had forgotten
something and hadn time to take the stairs
to get to it A policeman always appears
at this juncture and the visitor is advised
TO take his time about it and go by way of
the stairs
Il can tell Them on sight said the police
man TO reporter. Il can tell when they
come for jump, and | never give them
chance. There Is something in their eyes
ami the way they look about them that re-
veals their purpose But / presume any
CTduk WHO Sut Oh Tue uOHe WOULD lsei IL 10
be his duty to jump off So We think 1t
best not 10 let any cranks go up
No, We don't stop lovers, he adie1, in
response to an intimation that this variety
of crank was not dangerous They never
have energy enough to Jump OIL. They
have to stop at every landing 10 rest
Sometimes they make a good deal of noise
about it The kissing corner Yes, of
course, they stop there! But the real gen
uine article ain t satisfied with that They
stop ut every turn in tue stairs, Let's see,
now Let's make a calculation how many
kisses real spooney couple who are visit
ing Washington On their bridal tour will
get In on a round of the capitol No. they
can't Kiss in tha elevator; that's crowded :;
nor in the gallery, but they look as il they
like to. There's the tomb OF " ashing ton
under the crypt, they always put their
heads close together TO weep over that and
never hear you tell them that its empty
| This is a particularly good place, becau Use
It's dark, aud there are 50 many marrow
aisles near it They'll score half dozen be-
fore they finally get cut Next is the en-
Gineroon. and thsn the crypt After tn at
they get uneasy. It's ali light in thu library
and til rotuudL But they make UP for
this on the way to the dome Now, Just
count the landings AMI you ve got it But
| it ism fair to cal them crankI It's only
| temporary with them Washington star.