Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1886-09-25
SELECTIONS.
A MISERABLE WIFE.

have to rent or sell the farm. My
wife is so miserable. I cannot carry
it without hiring, and hiring eats up
all the profits"
looked at the speaker admiring.
". He was about fifty, and as 70.
bust as man of thirty. His whisk-
ers were neatly trimmed, showing a
full red cheek. He wore a jaunty
hat and natty cutaway coat and
below his vest hung silk fob and
heavy gold seal. l was proud OF
him. He was a perfect picture OF
the West Va. gentleman from the
rural districts. I wanted to imprint
his picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miserable ?"
Yes, kinder droopin' with dry
cough and no ambition. She jest
kinder drags around the house and
looks so peaked and scrawny it gives
me the blues. 1t does, | swan if it
don't.n
Naturally weak, wasn't she ~
She! Oh, no. When | married
her she was the smartest girl ON the
creek. See used to work for father,
and the way she made the work
stand around took my eye. She was
a poor gal, and her industry got her
a rich husband"
Here he careiessly took out a gold
watch, looked at the time, put il
back and adjusted the silk fob on the
front of his nicely fitting trousers.
$50 she did well getting married
on account of her industry? ?"
Why, of course she was getting
only two dollars and fifty cents a
week, and she became mistress of a
farm"
"Excuse me, but how much are
you worth now. confidentially you
know; | am a scientific man, and
will never use such facts to your in
jury with the assessor"
DWELL, professor, | could crowd
fifty thousand dollars pretty hard.'
That is good. How long have
you been married ?n
"Thirty years next fourth of July
We went down to Albany Oh a little
teeter, and proposed the match and
Jane was willin'."
"How much do you suppose you
have made in these thirty years 7"
"Hum-um-lemme see. | got
the Davis farm the first ten years
then / run in debt for the Simmons
place, got war prices for my cheese,
and squared up both places. Well
| have cleared up thirty thousand
dollars since we spliced."
every good, indeed. And your
wife has been great help to you in
all this time"
"Oh, you bet. She was a RATHER
She took care of her baby and the
milk from twenty COWS. | tell you
she made the tinware flop. Why,
we have had four children, and she
never had a hired girl over SIX
months in that time"
"Splendid And you have clear.
ed thirty thousand dollars in that
time 7"
Yes, easy"
Now, how much has your wife
made ?"
"She, why, durn it, professor, she
is my wife"
81 know it. But what has she
made? You say she was poor when
You married her. Now, what has
she made 7"
Why, by gum, you beat all. Why
she is my wife and we own it alto
gether."
ado yous Then she can draw OF
your bank accounts Then she has
a horse and carriage when she want.
one? Then she has servant mail
when she wants one? Then sht
rides out for her health, and has {
watch and chain or gold as you do
Is that SOL
" Professor, you must be crazy
Nob0dy's wife is boss in that shape
Who ever heard of such a thingsn
:. Now, look here. You said sh,
did well in marrying rich, and can
not see it. If she was getting tw,
dollars and fifty cents per week wheI
you married her, and had saved he
wages, she would have had now tire,
thousand six hundred dollars. Nov
you tell me she is broken down, use.
up and miserable, and looks SO ba.
she makes you sick, and she has NJ