New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1886-01-13
!, KISSES ARE PLENTIFUL.
scenes . 81. at the Steamboat Piers
Greetings and Paintings.

{5tsS>, - a = AAOuhA0.-4 mere Is no de-
nying that people are fond of watching
other people kiss. Young and old male
and female, alike take an interest init.
IN the young men it perhaps stirs
exuberant anticipations Of what he
hopes is in store for him some day; in
the old man it perchance awakens
ldeliciously sad memories Of days that
are fled forever. But, so far as ANAL
ysls can determine, it appears that
most men are fond of looking on while
osculatory solutions are being dis
pensed, out Of 'spure cussedness." The
young women may peep at the kissing
behind a fan and giggle afectedly, and
the old woman may protest that she
is much shocked, but somehow they
all seem to enjoy being on hand when
kissing is going on. Observe with what
GREATNESS emotion the theatrical
audience. composed of all manner OF
people, watches the receipt and deliv-
cry OF stage kisses.
The best place to see kissing is on
pier when some big ocean steamer ar
rives or departs. A big Cunarder is
being slowly warped into her dock.
The pier is black with people who have
come to meet their friends. There are
husbands on the loo kout for wives,
wives expecting their husbands, par
ents seeking their children and lovers
prepared to greet their sweethearts.
The big ship on the side nearest the
pier is also crowded with human
freight. Tokens OF recognition have
been exchanged. The lips of several
young men and women trembse and
quicker. The excitement and breezy
air lend q fine glow to the cheeks OF
many OF the girls, and their eyes flash
and dance like sunbeams. Aman can
hardly help wishing that he was broth
er Or cousin or sweetheart or some
thing to half a dozen OF them.
AT length the ship is alongside, and
the gang plank is stretched. Previous
ly there has been q short but sharp
struggle to get the vantage ground at
either end, which will secure the
first exchange of kisses. On the
steamer, a buxom matron, fair and
forty, has crowded her way to the
front, pushing aside some half dozen
younger women. She rushes down the
plank as though she. had received a
sudden impetus from the hind leg Of a
mule But affection is a great incent-
i've to ability. She is met at the end
OF the plank by her faithful spouse.
Jeewhack! what ahug "Smack-smack-
pop-pop" again and again. She sails
into half q dozen small fry, boys and
girls, gives each a hug and kiss and
then begins over again All this is
wholesome and sweet, but it is not
what the admirer of the art OF kissing
comes out to see. There is nothing in
it to tickle his fancy. But close on
the heels of the buMorn woman follows
q stalwart, bronze-cheeked young fel.
low who has rather rudely pushed
ahead Of a bunch Of girls. He dives
into the crowd until he reaches a pref
ty girl who is accompanied by an ell
derby woman, perhaps "a maiden aunt.
He takes her in his arms-not the
aunt, but the pretty girl-and gets in
hall a dozen before she can gasp, ooh!
George" Then she RECEIVERS and
gives him three or four. He gets
rid Of some little more exuberant az
fiction bestowing three or four kisses
on the maiden aunt. Observers, how
ever, take no interest in the latter
part of the performance There are
things more interesting going on; kisses
are now flying around thicker than
f1ies around asugar-bowl in summer
time. "Pop-pop, smack-smack, fish
pish.'' Every sort of osculatory
sound is heard in blended confusion.
The ibewildered spectator doesn't
know which way to turn to catch
what:is best worth seeing, and is ex-
asperated by the thought that he can
not take it all in. Now a pretty girl.
with golden hair streaming in the wind
flies, rather than runs, down thegang-
plank-ra vision of exquisite beauty.
A dozen pair of eyes are focused 1on
her. She gives her '"ma" and Spa"
six or seven kisses each, and some
burly brothers three or four apiece.
Then 8 young man who had been
hanging in the background comes for
ward and gets only two inaudible
kisses of the 'ttouch-and-go" sort ae-
conpan1ed by bushes, but there is a
good deal of condensed senti-
ment ian them. The observers
with singular unaninaity concludes
that he is the girls sweetheart,
and cast envious glances at him and
wonder If he .appreciatesihis good luck.
Their feeling were not mach disturbed !
by the kisses the brothers got. They
had all ''bean there" more or less
but of the other sort their collective
aggregated q mach smaller
There is soane perfunctorY kissing,
bat not much. Asea voyage seems to
inspire people otherwise only ordina-
rily demonstrative togo III for oscula-
tory collisions Tiith a great deal. of genu-
inc energy, when the port of destina-
ton is reached and old friends are
greeted. Here q superbly dressed
young lady wake leisurely down the
gangso lanl who fsrnishes an exception
to this rule. She wont display any
haste. That would be bad form. She
is a proud, languidL emotionless sort
of q beauty. She merely presents her