Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-01
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN Georgiana was 3. she said suddenly
one day, after long quiet: Mamma, where
| DO the to-days 60 when they get TO be yester-
days"-PhttldetpAi Cdu.
JAILER-Helloa, fellow I've seen you here
| three or four times.
Prisoner-Weli. what of that? Eve seen you
here Just ~ often.-Harpsr's B'sar.
DO you believe in prohibition ?"
"Certainly.o
what is your reason -
ar ason! Why, man alive, I'm manufac-
turer of pocket TASKS. "-Ne'o Hduen Ne,oS.
THE car is full of aumni." whispered Miss
Beacon'trrei to her friend from the West, as
they Doth Journeyed CamDrldgeWard In the
horse car.
YES" said the Chicago girl, land how it
chokes one up, doa't ii u wonder why they
do not open the ventilators. "-Ttd- Bits.
A SERIES of disasters: Tramp-Wont you
! hep poor man that lost his family by the
Charleston eartbq lake ?
Housekeeper-W nv. you are the same man
Sndt lost his family last year by the OHIO river
food
Tramp-I know it, mum. I am one of the
most unfortunate glntlemen on the face of the
earth. ChtcdJJ Rin,ble5.
PRESERVE THE RECEIPTs-Omaha LADY,
The paper says that in Vermont hereafter
the women are TO be allowed to vote.
Vermont Lady-Isn't that splendid, and
shall be home long before the next election.
too. It's grand. But-are there any limlta-
tions?
None that see except that woman
must prove that she owns $3.50 worth OF prop
erty."
well. Tve got all my millinery bills, thank
goodness. "-Onahu WnrlG.
".F you don't get out of this alley you'll
hear from me-" shouted Spencer street
woman 10 a couple of boys WHO were pound
ing IN the fence.
How" queried one.
III! call FOR a Policeman
You viii, Ell? II you are the kind OF
woman thar wants to see two or three police
mau n M mered to death by two desperate
boys who will never he taken alive. blow
possibility"
The 30 er second thought seemed to prevail
with her, as she retired and eft them masters
| of the field Diet oit rfee PresP.
AT an agricultural fair in W county a
Few weeks ago 1t raned necessarily the open-
ing day. A the management was anxious
to secure large attendance on the following
da1, hey telegra!,hed to Gen. HaZen to as
Ger, ain what KIND of weather they mi ght eX-
ct. The reply was ".'air weather"
WnerenpOn large posters were dIspinye on
a sides au:cnc,:InG the same. "DId you
ever rec anv' hing like the impudence of these
men," we " arheard a good, pIous old ady
lay 10 her companion, undertaking to fore
tell what Kind OF weather we are going to
have Tomorrow, just as If the Lord had moth 70
ing whatever TO do with it!'-hdrpey'S BGsGy .
A SUBURBAN gentleman tells this, apropos
of the chestnut: He was sitting in his Ii
| orary the other day, ealing some chestnuts,
when q hook agent was usneTed in. The
| Glib tonguedcanvasser opened his book, and
as he was rafting on at a rapid rate the gen
| tleman, to how his hospitality, pushed the
| dish of nuts toward him, with the remark to
| lie D himself
| To his great astenishment-for he was I'M
mindful of the int probation that might be
| placed upon the act-the agent stopped, gath
cred up his books, and shot from the door,
only saying:
s.That,s an awful mean vav tn tell a m an IN
| shut up."-BOst0h RecOrd.
SAID an elderly widower once to beautiful
Splnster: My love ali deception dscards
I'll make you husband most loyal and du-
Encumbrance I've none save a son in the
Guards.
He's 'misogynist;' that is the way. lady.
They speak of a man with such doctrines as
his;
He's a hater OF women. Pm sorry to say,
Sighed the beautiful spinster: II know that
he s.'
Said the widower: Yours shall be grandest
of marriages:
You shall have presents IN brilliant array
You snail nave servants and horses and car
riages;
Sweetest of all you shall have your own
way.
"Mansion at London and villa at Chelten' am
House boat at Datchet, and yacht shall be
thine;
So shall my boxes, with millions of wealth in
'em;
Say, then, enchantress, o! will you be
mine?'
Said the beautiful spInster, ''Oh! where shall
| borrow
Fit language to thank you? Resist you,
vino can:
At one of the clock. if you'll come here to-
morrow,
You shall have my fond answer, dear elderly
man"
Next day the spruce widower, rapture eiating
him,
Kept the charming appointment precisely
atone;
And found this delightful announcement
awaiting him:
'Dear Elderly Party. rve married your
SON." -HGrDtr's Bdsar.