Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-06-03

FISHING FOR SUCKERS.
| How IN Honest Pennsylvania Makes .
Comfortable Living.
'.Never saw a nataral gas well?' In
CURED laxative passenger. as the
train sped along in the darkness and
through the oil country; ''you never
saw gas we'll? You ought to see one.
especially one on fire. Beats all the
FIRE works ever got up. Something fun
ny about these gas wells, too. All of q
sudden they'll start up in flame, flare
twoor three times way up to the sky, and
then stop as quick as they started. That
is the effect of spontaneous combustion.
Guess know more about the natural
gas-well business than any other man in
the country. I've studied 'em, sir, for many
months, and have 'em down fine. Let
me see, it's now 9:3S o'clock. At $40
q spouter is due over in the valley there.
and ifyou'n keep your eye peeled in that II
direction mebbe you'll see it on fire.
At once all the passengers seated
themselves on the side of the car next
to the valley and looked iRtently for the
promised display. The gas-well expert
sat down across the isle, took out his
pipe and filed it as he remarked:
Il study these gas wells as astrono-
mers study the heavenly bodies,
and l can tell to a minute when they're
going to burst. Look out now-she's
a-coming!"
And sure enough. way down in the
valley. seemingly two or three miles
away, there was burst of flame, quick
| " followed By two or three more, and
then all was darkness again.
Wonderful, wonderful" exclaimed
grandest sight l ever saw" echoed an
other; marvellous, simply marvellous, !"
chimed in third.
"Oh, that's nothing" said the expert,
swat till you see one of these wells that
| take fire and flare out in two or thrde
directions, as if the flames wanted to
lick clean spot off the face of the
earth. They'r re worth looking at, tell
you. Lemme see, where's my note
book? Oh, here it is. Only 10 o'clock
say, friends, if you'll wait eleven min
| utes You'll see horizontal tiarer a little
farther up the road. She's due at 1915
o'clock. | figured her all out to-day"
OF course the passengers were willing
to wait, and they began to look down
into the dark valley, anxious to see the
great flarer. Soon a word of warning
from across the aisle caused every eye
to open wide with expectation, aud ex-
pressions of amaZement came from
dozen lips as two dozen exes beheld q
shoot of flame which sprang up out of
the darkness, darted this way and that
three or four times, and then disap-
peared with a blink.
Didn't l tell you I had it down
fne?' exclaimed the man with the pipe.
''They can any of EN- getaway with me
on gas-well business. I've studied 'em
through and through. But say, friends,
! get off at the next station. I'm poor
man, and my family at home is hungry.
Can't you do something for me?'
The hat was passed around and file?
full of quarters, half dollars, cigars ami
whisky bottles, more or less empty. ant
the whole dumped into the lap Of the
grateful expert.
Thanks, gentlemen, thanks" said
he, '.just tell your folks at home you've
seen the great horizontal flarer in
the oil regions, and that Bill Coop
err, the great astronomer and geolOgist
of the gas-well country, showed it to
you. Goodnight"
After his departure the passengers
began telling of the great mystery they
had seen, and to wonder how Bill Coop
er could so correctly calculate the APP
pearance of the flames of fire.
Ill show how the trick is done, ''said
a drummer who had been seated in the
rear part of the car, and who had not
as yet taken any interest in the pro-
ceedings. "Tll show you how the trick
is done. Has anybody got a match?"
A match was produced. The drum
mer seated himself on the opposite side
of the car, took out pocket mirror.
held it up against the window, and
told the passengers to look out in the
valley if they wanted to see another |
fiarer The match was struck and held |
before the mirror, and 10 and behold, |
there was another flaming gas-well in
view of the beholders.
ITO make horizontal flarer,' said |
the drummer, striking another match,
''all have to do is to blow gently on |
the flame of the match and there you !
have it. l travel over this road every |
week and have seen Bill Cooper before.
No, there's no use asking the conductor
to back the train up to the last station.
He won't do it, and if he did you
wouldn't catch Bill. He's down in the
valley by this time, fishing for more
suckers.-Chicago Herald.
A SMART ROW