The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-01-09

| DoHou' ne Hau so mucn TO Go with
people who had been run over on the
streets, drunken rowdies, disreputable
women and such canaiILe, that he was
pleased to see some apparently respect
able criminals patronize his court.
Taking his seat o. the judicial throne,
he asked pleasantly what was the nature
| of the case.
The little man and the Baroness
sprang to their feet. They addressed
the chair simultaneously, and with con-
siderable show of emotion, particularly
the insulted baroness.
Judge-Don't both speak at once.
Which of you is the complainant
The Gentleman-I am.
Baroness-I am.
Jadge-That is impossible: HaifS S
man. which Of the parties applied fed to
you first?
Policeman-The gentleman did, your
| Honor
The Judge-Now, sir, you have the
floor. Madame, you will allow the
gentleman to state his case.
The Baroness sits down with gesture
of despair. The little gentleman bows
to the court, clears his throat, and asks:
elias your Honor ever been in lovep"
Judge might reply to that ques-
ton that it was none of your business,
but do not blush to acknowledge that
on several occasions have been under
the influence of the tender passion.
Complainant-Then your Honor will
comprehend to some extent the suffer-
lngs that | have undergone. About
two months ago recovered from a
dangerous, and, what might have been
fatal illness. My physician said
needed change of air and amusement.
l lived at that time in the Boulevard de
Tophet, so l moved to the Rue de Para
dis. My greatest pleasure was to look
out OF my window every morning and
witness the awakening of Aurora.
Baroness-Your Honor, he lies. He
did not bother himself in the least about
tie rising sun. 1t was me that he
stared at like the escaped lunatic
that he is. For the past two months 1
have not been able to look out of my
window without being subjected to the
lmpudent chances of that wretched lit
tie caricature of man, whom your
Honor allows to air his insolence in
your court.
80, you wretchr' and the Baroness
grit her teeth and shook her head at
the complainant, who sighed.
Proceed" said the Judge.
Complainant-What the lady SAYS is
to some extent true. Yes, confess 1
Toasted my eyes on her peerless beauty.
My physician told me that needed some
thing to divert my mind from the cares
of business. That is my excuse. After
awhile it became a positive necessity
for me to stand at my window. o,
what lovely vision it vast How
beautiful she is! but your Honor can
see for yourself. Isn't she daisyp
Judge--Please confne yourself to the
case, young man. have been there
myself, so to speak, but the rules of the
court do not permit you to elaborate so
much. You have the sympathies of the
court, but be brief.
Complainant neglected my bnsi-
ness, l Shut myself up in my room, and
lived only for her. How often did
resort to strategy to communicate with
my lovely tormentor! | sent her let
tiers breathing of love from my win
dow. | saw her tear them to pieces,
and scatter them to the winds of
heaven. l sent her flowers. almost as
fresh and beautiful as her lovely lips
and eyes, and next morning | saw my
bouquets in the trash barrel amid dead
cats, cold hash, and like debris.
Judge Poor. unfortunate young
man!
Complainant-Well may your Honor
say that l am unfortunate. The SYM
pathy of this Honorable Court is balm
to my bruised and bleeding heart. Soon
people will read on my sad tombstone:
Here lies a poor young man who per-
ished of unrequited love. He could move
police justice, but he could not move a
move the cruel object of his affectio.-s.
Judge-Come to the point, if you
please. What is your complaint"
'lainant-I bribed her servants;
they ( my money. but the base me-
malls never gave me a chance to con-
verse with her. Disguised as letter.
carrier / sought to converse with her,
but she ordered the janitor with large
copious feet to kick me out into the
cold street, which he did. Whenever
she went out l followed her as faith
fully as her own shadow.
Judge-What a nuisance you must
have made of yourself.
Complainant-True love is never dis
outraged. Yc7, followed her wherever
sAe want. Learned yesterday that she
was going to move away, so there was
no time to be lost. Driven to despair,
/ registered solemn vow, about six
O'Clock this morning, that would tell
her of my love before the sun sank to
rest behind the western hills. When
attempted to explain my emotions on
the street she repealed my advances.
She refused to listen to me. Then
being in despair, accused her of theft
and had her brought before your Honor.
Judge--That was the act of alunatic.
Complainant-Perhaps it was. But
your Honor will concede that it was
crowned with success. l have at last
had an opportunity to tell her that l
loved her for herself alone. Thanks to
your Honor, she has been obliged to
listen to me. God bless your Honor for
it. Heaven will reward you for it, and
l will not forget it.
The Judge looked at the Baroness,
who blushed, and looked down on the