Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-07-02
A PROBLEM SOLVED.
A Kind Physician Removes a
Troublesome Mother-in-Law.

y ~
age stepped slowly along one of the
principal streets of the metropolis. He
was of an elegant and interesting pres
ence. He gazcd abscnt-mindcdly into
the show-windows to his right, ant
seemed lost IN thought.
Good morning, Edmund" called 4
gentleman apparently ten years his
senior and of compact figure, with a
full black beard, who was coming to-
wards him. "This is the first time
have seen you since your marriage, and
il confirms the sad aphorism that g
young husband forgets nothing more
easily than his friends. Do not inter.
rupt me, for l intend no rcproaches
since | am aware of your happiness
You have married the prettiest girl in
town, and i think you are too sensible
not to agree with me when say that
her money is no drawback. Poverty
makes no one happy, and riches do no
harm, you know"
Over the handsome face of Mr.. Ed.
mund Hagen, the person addressed,
fitted weak smile.
doctor, do not say that you are
not right" he answered; "but money
can not do every thing. am happy
yet"
He did not finish the sentence.
"YetP" repeated DIR. Henry Brosc,
who was physician of note. This
word betrays the fact that your happi-
ness has some kind of unpleasant after
taste. What do you mean by this
'yet?'"
''Nothing-nothingr' said Hagen.
! "This won't do, continued Brose. al
do not require confession; but an old
friend should not be cut off short in this
way. Where does it pinch?"
.'Nowhere-nowhere!' cried Hagen,
half out of humor. ''My happiness
would be complete, were not the mother
of my wife"
AHA! The mother-in-law" broke in
the doctor "You have always de-
scribcd her to me as a most excellent
person."
'She is all that consider her para
gon of a woman and mother"
MY dear Hagen, then LIDO not un-
derstand YOU"
MY wife is an angel. Every day ]
learn to esteem and love her morc,n
continued Hagen. my mothcr-in-law
is a very excellent woman; kind, COM
plant, self-sacritcing. She does every
thing to please me, yet"
Again this mysterious yeti" broke
in the doctor. "Pray, speak intelligi.
bly,
II do speak intclligibly," said
Hagen. "Shc fosters and cherishes me
as her son and favoritc. Every morn
ing she prepares for me most delicious
coffee; at noon, she selects for me the
most delicious tidbits; in the evening,
she cuddles me like child; she spoils
mcr'
well, that is not so terrible" said
Brose, laughing. Z.
But she never leaves us alone to-
gether!m burst out Hagen, at hast.
That is, indeed, unpleasant"
''She means it all right; but it is very
painful for me- continued Hagen.
"She loves my wife distractedly, be-
cause she is her only child, and this
rcconciles me to the conditions again
and again; but this love becomes un-
comfortable, since my wife can not sep
arate from her mother, either. re-
joiced like child in anticipation of our
wedding trip. l had TO give it up, be-
cause my wife insisted that her mother
should accompany us.
''You acted very prudently," said
Brose, in his dry, earnest manner.
''Yes, was defrauded of my wedding
trip, and now / am being swindled out
of my honeymoon" continued Hagen,
even more passionately. "My wife can
not part from her mother, nor the
mother from her child. have often
the feeling as though | were not the
husband of my wife or master in my
own house!h
Edmund, this is bad state of af-
fairs" said the doctor, stroking his
beard with his right hand. You are
all of you suffering from too much, and,
may add, perverted, affection. But /
have an idea! How would il do to marry
your mother-in-law to somebody? She
is not forty yet, is well preserved, a
handsome woman, and, to ono who had
not seen her certificate of baptism, she
would appear thirty at the most"
''Are YOU mad?" cried Hagen.
"WhyP"
"My wife is the only heir of her
mother, to whom the entire property
belongs. Should she marry again we
might perhaps be left with triilng in
heTitance.
"You are right Let us not get her
married, then. But would willingly
be of assistance to you in this crisis of
your callow marital felicity"
"You canl" said Hagen. "Vist me
this evening-frequently-every even
ing! My mother.in-law is refined,
cultured, amiable lady. Entertain your
self with her. i am certain you will
not pass the time unpleasantly. know
you like Rudesheimer. have an ex-
cellent vintage of this brand. One,
two, three bottles are at your service
every evening. Twill see that you have
the very finest Havanas, and you will
have no other duty than that of enter
tanning my mother-in-law, so that my
wife and | can have an hour to our
selves Are you agreedP"
"Of courser' cried the doctor laugh
ing.
"And you will come this EVENING""
"Certainly!"
Sand the following evening, tooP"
Every evening! 1t is no great sacri-
fee"
''i3ut you are doing me great ~
vor," saia Hagen, while he grasped his
friends hand and pressed il warmly
"You arc putting to flight the only cloud
that thus far has troubled my happi
ness
~ viii bring back the sunshine. You
will be satisfied with me" answered
the doctor.
"But you must not betray by single
word the fact that have occasioneC
your coming"
my dear Hagen, have you ever founC
Inc so weak as TO gossip more thar
~Gs gooda"