News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-10-21
BILL NYE ON RAILROADS.
THE HUMORIST's GRAPHIC AC-
COUNT OF THE FIRST TRAIN.
The Initial Trip was Rather Slow
for These Times, and Had Some
Drawbacks

The Initial Trip was Rather Slow
for These Times, and Had Some
Drawbacks.
Perhaps there is nothing in the line
OF discovery and improvement that has
shown more marked progress in the
last century than the railway and its diff
ferent auxiliaries. When we remember
that much less than a century has passed
since the first patent for a locomotive to
| move upon track was issued, where now
we have everything that heart can wish,
and, IN fact, live better on the road than
we do at home with but thirty-six hours
between New York and Minneapolis,
and gorgeous parlor, bedroom and a
dining-roOm, between Maine and Oregon,
with nothing missing that may go to
make life a rich blessing, we are com
PEELED to express our wonder and ad-
miration.
To Peter Cooper is largely due the
boom given to railway business, he haV-
ing constructed the first locomotive ever
made in this country, and put it on the
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.
The first train ever operated must have
been a grand sight. First came the To-
comotive, large Babcock tre-extln-
guisher on trucks, with a smoke-stack
like full-blown speaking tube with a
frill around the top; the engineer at his
post in a plug hat, with an umbrella over
his head and his hand on the throttle,
borrowing a chew of tobacco now and
then of the farmers who passed him on
their way to town. Near him stood the
fireman, now and then bringing in an
armful of wood. from the fields through
which he passed, and turning the damper
in the smoke-stack every little while SO
that it would draw. Now and then he
would go forward and put a pork-rind
on hot box or pound on the cylinder
bead to warn people off the track.
Next comes the tender loaded with
nice, white birch wood, an economical
style of fuel because its bark may be
easily burned off while the wood itself
will remain uninjured. Beside the fire
wood we find on the tender a barrel of
rainwater and tall, blonde jar with a
wicker-work around it, which contains
small sprig of tansy immersed in four
gallons of New England rum. This the
engineer has brought with him for use in
case of accident. He is now engaged in
preparing for the accident in advance.
"
plug hat about two sizes too large for
him. He also wears a long WASTED
frock coat with a hustle to it and a tall
shirt-collar with a table-spread tie, the
ends of which flutter gayly in the morn
ing breeze. As the train pauses at the
first station he takes hammer out of the
tool-box and nails on the tire of the fore
wheel of his coach. The engineer gets
Il nil nd fa
little sewing machine oil on the pitman.
He then wipes it off with his sleeve.
1t is now discovered that the rear
coach, containing a number of directors
and the division superintendent, is miss
ing. The conductor goes to the rear Of
the last coach, and finds that the string
by which the directors car was attached
is broken, and that, the grade being
pretty steep, the directors and one brake
man have no doubt gone back to the
starting place.
But the conductor is cool. He removes
his bell-crowned plug hat, and taking
out his orders and time card, he finds
that the track is clear and looking at
large, valuable Waterbury watch, pre-
sented to him by widow whose hus-
band was run over and killed by the
train, he sees he can still make the next
station in time for dinner. He hires a
livery team to go back after the direc-
tors coach, and calling "All aboard"
he swings lightly upon the moving train.
1t is now 10 o'clock, and nineteen
weary miles still stretch out between
him and the dinner station. To add to
the horrors of the situation, the front
brakeman discovers that very thirsty
boy in the emigrant car has been drink
ing from the water-supply tank on the
tender, and there is not enough left to
carry the train through. Much time is
consumed in filing the barrel again at
spring n tar the track, but the conduc1or
finds a "spotter' on the train and gets
him to do it. He also induces him to
cut some more wood and clean out the
u hes.
The engineer then pulls out the draw
head and begins to make up time. In
twenty minutes he has mad mp an hours
time. though two miles of hoop-iron are
torn from the track behind him. He
sails into the eating station on time, and
while the master mechanic takes several
of the coach wheels over to the machine
shop to soak. he eats hurried lunch.
The akeman here gets h tin Ian.
terms ready for the night run and fills
two of them with led oil to be used on
the rear coach.
The fireman puts a fresh bacon rind
on the eccentric, stulfs some more cotton
batting around the axles, puts a new
lynch pin in the hind wheels, sweeps the
apple peelings out of the smoking car.
and he is ready.
Then comes the conductor, with his
plug hat full of exculs on tickets, orders,
passes, and time-checks; he looks at his
calls "All aboard" again. 1t is up grade,
however, and for two miles the ''spotter''
has to push behind with all his might be-
for. the conductor will allow him to get
on and ride.
Thus began the history of a gigantic
which has grown till it is a
comfort, convenience, a luxury. and
vet q necessity. 1t has built up and beau
fled the des rt. 1t has crept beneath
the broad river, scaled the snowy noun
tain, and hung by iron arms from the
canyon and the precipice, carrying the
Young to new lands and reuniting those
ong separated 1t has taken the hope
css TO lands of new hope. 1t has in
va led the solitude of the wilderness.
,piked down valuable Immigrants, killed
cheap cattle and tn n paid high price
for them, whooped through valleys,
,norted over lofty peaks, crept through
ong, dark tunnels, turning the bright
glare of day suddenly upon those who
thought the tunnel W is two miles long,
'oared through the night and glittered
through the day, bringing alike the
groom to his beautiful bride and the
weeping prodigal to the moss grown
grave of his mother.
You are indeed heartless, soulless
'orporation. and yet you are very essen
,ial in our business. s.-BU Nye, IN CHI
.tsJo Netrs.