The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1886-05-29
The Habit of Politeness.

The Habit of Politeness.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.
Few persons realize how great power
for happiness is welded by the simple habit
of politeness. 1t is frequently regarded as
a superficial thing, consisting of an adher-
ence to rules and forms of etiquette, or at
best a mere Imitation of kindness, which
would lose all value if seen through. Thus
many worthy and sincere people, associat-
ing it with pretence, feel certain contempt
for it, and of course do not cultivate it,
while others, shrewdly seeing in it only a
useful lever to gain personal ends, try to
practice it accordingly whenever they sup
pose it may react benefcially upon their
own interests.
Both these classes err in undertaking
true politeness. 1t is not spurious imita-
tion of kindliness, respect or regard, neither
is it synonymous with them; but it is their
natural outward expression. 1t may be
defined as the art of showing by external
signs the internal regard we have for all
our fellow-men. For, while the many diff
erent sentiments we hold towards those
bound to us by different ties are symbolized,
each by different and appropriate con-
duct, the universal sentiment of broth
hood between man and man finds fitting
manifestation in politeness. While our
friends may claim our love and loyalty, the
aged our reverence, great and good men
our respect and esteem and the unfortu-
nate our sympathy, all may justly claim
that general regard that expresses itself in
polite behavior, therefore, although po-
liteness has many counterfeits, it is in
itself true and honest coin and should be
respected as such.
Sel6shness often initiates it through pol
icy. People vaguely believing that it pays
to be polite take pains to act politely where
they see fair chance of reward. To su-
periors in wealth or station, to customers
or clients, to those who can render them
favors, they will hasten to show little atten-
tions and respectful interest; but to inferi-
ors, to children, to the poor or to strangers
they will be curt, blunt and even rude.
Much of what passes for politeness in So
ciety is of this nature The forms which
etiquette prescribes are strictly obeyed, no
rule is infringed, no ceremony omitted,
pleasant little acts of thoughtful kindness
are numerous, and general feeling of sat
isfaction pervades the company. Now, if
we follow these people to their homes, and
there find them rude, thoughtless and self
ish, we may be sure that what we had sup
posed. to be politeness was nothing more
than very narrow notion of self-interest.
The truly polite man is polite to his chill
dren in the nursery, to his employees in the
factory, to the stranger in the street, to the
crowd who jostle him, to the poor whom he
relieves, to the vicious whom he rebukes, as
well to those whose society he Graves and
whose esteem is dear to him. All are his
brethren, and to all he willingly accords this
token of brotherhood.
To become really polite, therefore, we
must cultivate kind and friendly feeling
to ALL The desire to please Or to aid every
one, to TIE best of our ability, is the first
and most important thing Then may we
study to advantage the most fitting and
graceful expression of this honest feeling.
Both of these can be inculcated most easily
and thoroughly in childhood. Both can
become habits of life, which will prove in
valuable To develop the heart and in
struct the manners correspondingly should
be the aim of every guardian of youth.
The exercise of kindly feeling will always
increase it, and the expression of it, begun
as duty, will soon become a delight.
Children quickly respond to the real senti-
ments of those with whom they mingle.
1t is not difficult to excite their emotions
or to lead them to appropriate expression.
Too often they are trained by precept and
example to be carefully polite to visitors,
or to those whom, from dress and appear
ance, they suppose to be gentlemen and
ladies, while they are suffered, unreproved,
to be rude to poorly dressed or awkward
people, to servants or to each other. Thus
the habits, both of feeling and expression,
become fixed within them and they grow
up to be essentially impolite people, though
they may be versed in all the etiquette of
society. On the other hand, the child who
is habituated to feel kindly and to act
pleasantly and graciously to eUery one at
all times-to desire their happiness and to
promote it when he can, to have a cheerful
smile or cordial word or a quick act Of
self sacrifice always ready when needed
may or may not move in what is called,
often erroneously, the best society, but
will, always and under all circumstances, be
polite in the best and most enduring sense.
1t is superfuous to say that one with
these habits will have certainty Of much
happiness and good prospect of success.
The pleasures he scattersre-act in tenfold
measure upon himself The contagion Of
of his kindly spirit spreads around, and
every one is ready and anxious in turn to
please or to serve him. Friends arise in
unexpected quarters, and that which he
has sown generously he reaps abundantly.
Politeness, like honesty, is always the best
policy; but, like that also, it must be real
and spontaneous. That which is practiced
from nlotiUes of policy is only spurious
imitation, and will utterly fail to realize
the hopes placed upon it.