Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-08-28

Saturday Smiles.
"DO you realize, sir, said the long-haired pas
all we do, who can solve our Utmost thoughts,
bruised worms?'
"Give us your hand, stranger" replied the
other: 81 know Just how you feel. I'm married
myself"-N. Y. Sun.
The present style of ladies' high hats is sup
discourage people from attending theaters.-
Puck.
Mrs. Robinson, of Somerville, has killed so
many persons that it would seem as II she
must have medical diploma.-SsTgicat Jour-
| nal.
Some Americans are about TO start q national
banking system In the Honduras. The venture
will probably tail, owing to the great distance
between Canada and the Honduras.-Lye.
Somebody at delaware Water Gap was In
troduced to Mrs. Paryenu as distinguished
sty inc, II Why" said the good old lady
thought you were an Episcopalian."-Boston
advertiser.
Customer-was that Jamaica ginger you put
In that soda? 1t doesn't taste like it.
Drug Clerk examining bottles)-By Jove, Z We
made mistake and given you laudanum! I'm
an NAVE TO charge g1I half dollar
ginger, you know. Sixty cents, please-Boston
Cburter.
Restaurant matron-I want you girls to tx
Waiter girls-ts the butter bad again?
mo. the meats tough."-Omaaha World.
Some one wants to know: '.Why don't our
young men come to the front9' Simply because
1t Is harder to get out between the actS.-Nea0
Haven NesUs
Squire is poet, but he did not write the
hymn commencing, "Grace, It's q charming
word. "-LOiveH Cutzen.
'.Oh, DEAR" sighed Widow Jones, eff John had
only made will there wouldn't be all this
trouble about the property" "Do the lawyers
me to death. declare 1 sometimes wish John
hadn't died."-New York iStn.
An exchange says that "from 1874 until the
present time liz cold-blooded murders have
Carolina, by the county docket" The county
docket ought to be hanged.-Burliagton Free
Press.
During an ARRAY in Texas town man was
shot and very badly wounded. Sympathizfng
friends raised UP the fainting man.
Take him to the drug store, suggested some
body. Slowly the wounded man opened his
eyes and whispered family:
"What's-the-matter-w ith-the-saloon Texas
SVtiags
First citizen-Hello, old man; going out of
town?
Second citizen ION his way to the barber)-
Ah-yes; to Beach Haven.-1fd-Bus
fought the Philistines?" asked the superintend-
ent. "Hur and Aaron shouted the good boy.
''She and Aaron softly corrected the new
schoolma'ain the strong point Of whom was
grammar.-Burdette.
Boy-Mister, what time Is it?
Man-Iou little rascal, you asked me that
same question only two minutes ago and
told you. What do you ask again for?
Boy-I amt askin' for myself. I'm askin' for
this other little boy; he don't know.
The girl who goes in bathing at the sea-
shore has lots OF fun, but the girl who sits on
the veranda in the moonlight aud looks at the
waves is the one who gets engaged..-C Cambridge
Chronicle.
An old parish clerk was courteously thanking
a church dlgnitary for kindly taa ng on emer-
gency a village service; "a poorer preacher
would have done u.s. SIR" he said, !" "if we only
knew where to find him!"
Ingersoll says that no such man as Noah ever
existed. The mischief he didn't! After whom
then, was Moan Webster, the dictionary man.
named?-Teras Sittiags.
Women eau do great deal of talking with
their eyes," says a Philadelphia editor, who
has evidently stepped on u beautys dress in q
crowded bali rooin.-OmGha World.
She Leads the Whole Crowd.