The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-11-04

Most noble Roman" said the chairman,
$50 / see" said Lucius Ouintus, cycling
them suspiciously, ut | signed contract
for some of thoss patent beehives last sum
mer and found it was note for $500 that
had to pay at the bank. You can't play the
green game on me twice"
"You mistake our mission altogether"
said the chairman. with offended dignity,
eve are"
lightning rod men, perhaps. But don't
want any lightning rods, nuther.
"Deign. most noble Cincinnatus, to give
me your attention for few brief moments|
"Wen hurry up old boss, and make II
short, for I'm busy's a mules tail IN ny
time" and he sat down on his plow beam,
tanning himself with an old straw hat.
"'The republic is in danger" he began,
reading from a long roll of MSS. that he
produced.
aThat sounds sort o familiar. 'Nuther
lection comm on. 1 reckon. You're goin
to sound the tocsin, amt yea And mebbe
you'll wave the bloody shirt"
"The Roman senate realizing the exigency
of the situation, has elected you --"
"If there amt them pesky colts in my gar
den patch again" cried Cincinnatus, spring
ing 10 his feet "W-h-o-a, therei Git OUT
of thati" he yelled, as he graSped his OK CAD
and started across the field to drive them
out.
When he returned be perspiring and
swearing like Roman trooper. ''Blankety
blank them blank colts" he cried, they Ii
lump any fence that was ever made Say,
YOU fellers. You don't happen to know a
poke that'll keep colts from jumpin', do yeF
1.-THE city which Romulus founded" said
the chairman, scarcely needing the inter
ruption, 'is threa tened by the barbarlans.
The valor of Roman arms, that under Mar
Gus Horatius subdued the Sabines and sub
United the Claudio to the yoke, is paralyzed
for want of a leader"
''Now you paralyze me.
"In casting about for competent com
mander. every way adequate to the emer'
gency that has overtaken us, the eyes OF the
senate have turnel toward you"
SHAW! you don't sayw
"Your stead asst championship of the rights
of labor, your position on the silver ques
ton, your uncompromising opposition to tht
Chinese. your refusal to avail yourself Of
the franking privilege, and your scornfu
rejection of a railroad pass while member
of your town council, the untenance tina
you gave to the early closing movement
your defiance of Canada on the fishery ques
ton, your
"Come now, boys, let upp
| "Your services as a volunteer fireman, tn
| ability you displayed as captain of a mlllti
| company, your having never written com
munications to the papers, or shown yoursel
in an open hack in Decoration day process
I sions, your never sen ling proof slips of you
speeches to the daily journals, never MAXIM
a false return to the tax assessor, or wearin
pointed toed Shoes or parting your hair i
the middle, or crying chestnut" and, abov
all, your invariable habit of going to th
polls and voting the old ticket without
| scratch have induced the senate to call yO
to the highest office in their gift, the Roma
consulshipI'
Cincinnatus was so overcome by this tim
that he could only press the speakers han
silently and lead the way to the hous'
where he tapped a fresh barrel of cider an
invited them all to join him in dance