Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-26
BRIGHT BITS.

! BOB lNGEEsOLL refuses to kneel IN religious
/ devotion, and yet a punch Of snuh can DrlnS
nm TO his sneeze.-Hitc4et,
/ TIME is money. they say. And we have
/ often observed that hi takes g good deal OF
money to nave a good Understandable JoQr-
/ nal.
Miss CLABA-"Ps.tcur seems tohave made
/ a great reputation for himself, Mr.. Feather
! Mr.. es, and he deserves it all.
/ There are few better variety singers than
! Tony. Yen YORK SIN.
A PROSPEROUS FARMER at Marion, o., has
! elOped WI his hired girl The local paper
! accounts tOrit by SAYING he had always man
/ Tested deep interest III religious REVEALS.
! but OF late had become a speculation in BOhe
/ milan oats. "-CbristiaR Ad0ocate.
WFE-"The water pipes have sprung a
] leak, and everything IN the paror Will be
! ruined If you don't send for plumber lmme-
! dIately."
Hus6and-"My dear, don't you think things
are bad enough as they areF'-Puck.
| MAMMA-''DO you know the ten command
| ment-, my dear"
Lift e Bess-''Ye s. mamma.
We !, repeat them
81 can't, mamma [ don't know them by
| heart. only know them when | see Them"
| -PhiladekOh{a CaU.
VIsGTOR-"What,y you burn kerosene? That's
odd"
Director of gas company-"Great Scott!
you didn't suppose we could afford to burn
gas. did YOU No SIT; W are no fools. The
metre Is no mystery TO us. We are in the
business. II O50miSer.
ONE of the darkey waters at an Alabama
college is noted nypoCrlte He was taken to
task lately by the student for some short com
ing, and in the course of the examination one
Of them asked ''Why, sam, what are you 60
| ing 10 do when you die aud go TO hell:"
''Wait on the students, sah,' he replied,
nalyely.-COltege Ercs0age.
WIFE-"John, dear, 1 notice that your
| brother James never makes friendly call
upon US unless he rs lntoNicated.'
Husband-''No, my dear. he doesn't. james
reminds me of the moon"
W.-Remlnds you of the mOOny
H.-Ges, dear; he never gets round till he's
full."-ErChdRge.
AT early morn the AIR doth now
A chilly feeling shed;
And now the waketul servapt-maid
DOH hate to leave her bed.
She turns and turns, and in her mind
The subject doth debate;
And lucky lis If breakfast Is
But half an hour too late.
Chicago Telegram.
UP IN the choir the TENOR was making love
to the soprano in mufhed voice, while the
preacher was waxing eloquent IN the pulpit
below.
You're a dear" the young man whis-
pered.
"A doe, rather the soprano smiled back.
"Ah, yes" returned the tenor, you re the
do ia mi.
She killed him with a loOk.-Tid Bits.
II WENT down to Ridley villa one day last
week." said Gracenote, and sang for a
church down there that was giving a little
concert to raise some money. | sang Tor
nothing, and then on my way to the depot 1
was arrested tor giving an entertainment
without license. Ana, by Joye, sir, the
magistrate gave me five days for it-dvc DAYS
and had to beg like pity to have it changed
to q tne."
~ hat did YOU sing2' asked the friend.
"'Ah, so FAIR"
ssYes."
"Weln his friend said, thoughtfully, sit
was worth II. every day ofit Y0u wern't a
Bit overpaid. Ne should have given you ten"
-BrOoklyA EdgIe.
TIE Rev. DIR. 5, who Is a prominent divine
in a city not far from New York, had been
spending a few daVs-nOt in tins weather-on
an island on the Maine coast, and, intending
to depart on certain morning he started for
the boat in company with frienu, A porter
followed with the doctors valise. Arriving
at the wharf, they found that TO take advan-
tage of the wind or tide the boat had gone be-
fore the advertised time. Not aware OF the
clerical character of the company. the porter
swore several shocking oaths in quick success
sion.
what do you think Of that, doctory" asked
his friend.
well" said the doctor, slowly and impress
sively, "there are times when the services of
layman are Indispensable '-BostoR Record