Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1886-12-11
STRAY SUNBEAMS.
Gathered as They Sparkle From the
Pen Of Humor.


open.
There is a big gray horse on one Of
the Brooklyn a lines that chews to-
baccO.
Nine. Missions favorite color is blue,
and it matches very well with Ameri-
can gold.
A woman isn't fit to have a baby who
doesn't know how to hold it, and this
Is as true of a tongue as of a baby.
Manager Hahn says the elevated roads
are as strong as ever Some of the
Second Avenue cars are, too-strong as
onions.
any daughter" exclaimed a fashion
able mother. is innocence itself. You
can't say anything in her presence that
will make her blush"
The sponge is said to have nerves.
We have observed that he feels deeply
when the bartender tells him to scrape
his feet OH the mat as he goes out.
According to Professor Proctor, "the
SIM is 100000 as large as the earth"
They must have an awful time hunting
for their north pole up there.
The Sultan has ordered a seven-mill-
ion dollar navy. Get our cOast-defences
ready at once. Perhaps he is coming
over to capture >. ;. Cox again.
Bartholdi's statue of Liberty is the
largest woman in the world. Thank
the stars, however, she cannot talk. If
she could, wouldn't the country suffer.
"They have caught a bear at Great
NoaE IVA pnnft nl,1ua thto tam vary
gracefully; but somehow or other IL
suggests an opera night at the Met
ropolitan.
A man by the name of Virgins COM
mitted suicide ut FL Paso the other day.
Ii ever a man was justified in killing
himself, this unfortunate FL Paso citi-
izen a
A drunken nan recently fell into the
Central Park lake and was drowned.
The boys are now drinking a mild
quality of r%um-punch, and the lake is
getting low.
When Minnie Hank sang at Tin Cup,
Arizona, twelve Apache chiefs retired
behind the theatre after the entertain
ment and drew lots to see who should
marry her. Minnie escaped.
few What do you suppose is the
reason there are no marriages in
heaveuY" Husband -"You stupid
goose! 1t is TO offset the fact that
there is no heaven in marriage
A father was found fault with Cor
wishing to marry his son too young.
await" said a friend, till ne gets q
little more sense" I'm not SO foolish
&c thaf. no Unnld not marry of oil
then"
"Yes," said Henderson, Miss Forte
plays beautifully. don't know any
thing about music myself, but know
she's a splendid Payer because all the
other players say her music is just
"What an inveterate talker Charley
is" remarks Brown: 81 never saw his
like" Fogg replieS:-"No | either;
pom my word. | believe he would even
talk to his wife rather than keep his
tongue still"
"Can you tell me-, Mr.. Giglamps,
where that passage is from, .'She never
told her love, ~etc.'"but Giglamps didn't
see it. He went and looked il mp like
a blamed fool, and she married the
OLHeT IeIlOW.
A new tenor named Salegat has Deen
discovered in Southern France. There
are also indications of the return of
the cholera, and the inhabitants are
generously trying to keep him there
till it comes.
A prominent Andover teacher has
renowned his belief in any future pun
1 iehnNa,,t nt all iIin trifn hnn ,,,ot
bought a new "noiseless' washing
machine, and he says he is getting all
he deserves noW.
Edwin Booth took twenty-one thou
sand dollars out of Cincinnati AZ the
result of n weeks run OF +" Hamlet"
The inhabitants thought the play was
based on the hog industry, and packed
the theatre like sausages.
Mrs. Lamb, of Boston. is accused Of
making away with her hare-lipped
baby. How much better il would have
been to have let it live and grow up,
with something 10 distinguish 1t from
the rest of the Bostonians.
The Roman Committee have offered
q prize for u jubiiec-hymn, to be sung
At st. Peters Oh the Pope's celebration
day. We have suggested by cable:
1.-THE Pope he leads a Jolly life"-and
are a%nxiously awaiting the gold.
"My son." said a fond father to his
little hoy, whom he had been furnishing
by the use OF the rod for the first time;
"my son, | hope this has taught you a
lesson" "Yes, pa" the little boy sob
bingly replied, ats taught me that it
is better to give than to receive"
According to the New York Tribune,
the band in passing the reviewing
stand where President Cleveland stood,
"burst into Mende!ssohn's Wedding
March," and the crowd burst into
cheers" If somebodUwould only" burst
into these gushy dailies it would be
the burst thing yet.
Emma goes to school, but dislikes it
very much. Alady friend of the family
questioned her OH the subject. Emma,
what do you do in school? DO you learn
to read?" Emma shakes her head.
"Do you learn to write?" Another
shake. "Then what do you do?" II
wait for it to be out"
Alexander of Bulgaria, had an in
come of only one thousand dollars a
year when he took his crown. He is
now worth three hundred and fifty
thousand dollars, and as we are not
aware that he did anything with Little
Rock bonds, it is charity to say that he
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