The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1886-05-22
FISHING FOR SUCKERS.
How an Honest Pennsylvania Makes q
Comfortable Living.

Comfortable Living.
"Never saw a nataral gas well?" In
quired talkative passenger, as the
train sped along in the darkness and
through the oil country; 'you never
saw a gas wellP You ought to see one,
especially one on fire. Beats all the
fire works ever got up. Something fun.
ny about these gas wells, too. All of
sudden they'll start up in a flame, fare
two or three times way up to the sky, and
then stop as quick as they started. That
is the effect of spontaneous combustion.
Guess know more about the natural
gas-well business than any other man in
the country. We studied EN-, sir, for many
months, and have 'em down fine. Let
me see, it's now 1888 o'clock. At GAO
a spOuter is due over in the valley there,
and ifyOu'll keep your eye peeled in that
direction mebbe you'll see it on fire. -
At once all the passengers seated
themselves on the side of the car next
to the valley and looked intently for the
promised display. The gas-well expert
sat down across the isle, took out his
pipe and filled it as he remarked:
II study these gas wells as astrono.
mers study the heavenly bodies,
and can tell to minute when they're
going to burst. Look out now-she's
a-coming!'
And sure enough, way down in the
valley, seemingly two or three miles
away, there was burst of flame, quick
ly followed by two or three more, and
then all was darkness again.
Wonderful, wonderful" exclaimed
one of the astonished passengers; 1.-THE
grandest sight l ever saw" echoed an
other; marvellous, simply marvellous, u
chimed in a third.
"Oh, that's nothing" said the expert,
"wait till you see one of these wells that
take fire and flare out in two or three
directions, as if the flames wanted to
lick clean spot off the face of the
earth. They're worth looking at, l tell
you. Lemme see, where's my note
bookP Oh, here it is Only 10 o'clock
say, friends, if you'll wait eleven min
utes you'll see a horizontal farer a little
farther up the road. She's due at 1916
o'clock. l figured her all out to-day"
OF course the passengers were willing
to wait, and they began to look down
into the dark valley, anxious to see the
great tlarer. Soon word of warning
from across the aisle caused every eye
to open wide with expectation, d ex-
presSions of amazement came from a
dozen lips as two dozen eyes beheld a
shoot of flame which sprang up out OF
the darkness, darted this way and that
three or four times, and then disap.
peared with a blink.
Didn't l tell you l had it dowr
fneP" exclaimed the man with the pipe
"They can any of EN- get away with me
on gas-well business. I've studied ZEN
+. through andNifongh. But say, friends
! get off at the next station. I'm poo
man, and my family at home is hungry
Cant you do something for meP"
The hat was passed around and filled
full of quarters, half dollars, cigars anC
whisky bottles, more or less empty, ant
the whole dumped into the lap of thu
grateful expert.
Thanks, gentlemen, thanks" saiC
he, "iust tell your folks at home you'v,
seen the great horizontal farer il
the oil regions, and that Bill Coop
er, the great astronomer and geologls
Of the gas-well country, showed it t,
you. Good night"
After his departure the passenger
, began telling of the great mystery the.
had seen, and to wonder how Bill Coop
err could so correctly calculate the APP
pearance of the flames of fire.
t, 'Ill show how the trick is done, "sait
drummer who had been seated in tn
, rear part of the car, and WHO had no
as yet taken any interest in the pro
, ceedings. "Ill show you how the tricl
! is done. Has anybody got matchP"
A match was produced. The drum
mer seated himself on the opposite sid
of the car, took out pocket mirror
held it up against the window, ant
told the passengers to look out in tn
h valley il they wanted to see anothe
flarer The match was struck and hel,
before the mirror, and 10 and behold
: there was another flaming gas-well il
view of the beholders.
9 ITO make a horizontal .farer," sal
: the drummer, striking another match
: "all have to do is to blow gently o
\ the fame Of the match and there 20
: have it, l travel over this road ever
- week and have'seen Bill Cooper before
. No, there's no use asking the conductC
" to back the train up to the last station
g He won't do it, and if he did 20
l. wouldn't catch Bill. He's down in th
Q valley by this time, fishing for NOR
|. suckers. - Chicago Herald.