Wichita eagle., 1886-09-10

at the scullery), that it would want some
body with head on their shoulders to
handle it, and that where there wasn't a
missus in tho family with glance at mel
the best of ranges didn't have fair chance
told him would think it over (meaning
the repairs, and let him know. talked the
matter over with Tidd, and as the result Of
our deliberations sent Mr.. Jawker letter
accompanied by way of postscript by few
touching lines, entitled "An Ode to Treas
ure."
That fetched him I thought it would
He said rather than have any more of my
poetry he'd go halves with us in a new range.
told him I'd just as soon he paid for the
whole; but he said be wouldn't be out
done by me in generosity. He'd stick to
'halves." Accordingly on the advice
of Trotter, I arranged to have one
of the good old-fashioned open ranges,
with "no nonsense about it." The
cautious Bigsby came with two or three at
tendant sprites, and after week or there
abouts of general upset, and pervading
atmosphere of grit throughout our mansion,
the range was fixed and Bigsby, with bust
ness-ike promptitude, sent us in his bill for
our half, amounting to 93 los Again a
pleasing vista of nice little dinners loomed
rosy before us and we paid his demand with
out murInur. We had bivouacked during
the week where we could, anywhere, any
where, out Of the grit" as pathetically OBJ
served to Tidd, but now we fondly hoped our
troubles were over, and again we came home
to dinner full of joyful anticipation We
had ordered OK tail soup, a leg of lamb with
green peas and caulifower, and dish of
macaroni cheese. l cannot say that the dim
ner was complete success. The soup would
have been very nice if it hadn't been quite SO
salt, and have no doubt that the lamb
would have been very nice also if it hadn't
been quite SO underdone, but l think three
slugs in one caulifower moro than a fair
average. We might have made shift with
the peas, but they were so hard that we were
obliged to swallow them whole like pills, and
after taking" dozen or two in this manner
we found the operation too tedious and
abandoned the attempt. Tidd ventlired on a
joke about ''pease de resistance" It was a
gallant attempt and l tried to smile, but
the effort was too great, and I very nearly
burst into tears instead We ultimately dined
off the 1aacaroni cheese. We both agreed,
when Trotter was out of the room, that some
thing ought to be said to her, but we could
not agree as to who should say it, and there
was something in her eye which indicated
that criticism would not be well received
Ultimately we decided to say nothing at oil
just as present, encouraging each other by
the reflection that tho new stove might not
have got properly aired, or that there might
be some other sufficient reason for her
failure, and that it mightn't occur again.
dow fS,1v %v,s0 L.
next they were not quite SO well, and thus
the fortunes of our dinners fuctuated, till
about a week after the Inauguration of tho
new range, on our returning home Us usual
at 6 o'clock, we found no cloth laid in the
dining room, nor was there any sound of any
one moving below. Pursuing our researches,
with caution, down to the kitchen, We found
the fire out and no signs either of dinner or
of Trotter. Finally hearing subdued sound
of lamentation, we traced it to tho larder,
and there found our inestimable Trotter sit
ting on the floor, with one arm embracing the
bread pan and weeping freely. On endeavor-
ing to ascertain the cause Of her grief, we
could only elicit that she was ga pore orphan,
and everybody was agin her." AS she had
told me, on applying for the situation, that
she had lost her parents at the age of 5, her
orphaned condition seemed hardly an ado
quate explanation of her present grief.
found on subsequent examination that had
left the sidcboard open, and that the gin bot
tie filled the previous morning) was empty;
but Trotter assured me, with such flood of
tears and omany pious CALCULATIONS, that she
hadn't tasted anything stronger than cough
mixture the whole blessed day, that we really
didn't like to contradict her. However. this
last straw, I won't say "broke the camels'
backs" but decided the camels that they
wouldn't allow their backs to be broken. We
paid Trotter months wages the next morn
ing and sent her packing, and did not discover
till some days after that she had taken a Sc
lection of our new silver spoons to remember
us by.
We advertised at once for a new servant,
and meantime endured an interregnum of
charwoman, taking it by turns to get up il
the morning and let her in, and picking up
our meals, like the sparrows, when and where
we could. What we have undergone In con.
sequence of our advertisement nobody knows
We had advertised for respectable woman
between 80 and 40. but the maj GRITTY of those
who applied were either pert damsels of II OF
thereabouts, or elderly ladies ranging from &C
upwards. The lame, the halt and the blind
Tor nearly presented themselves A last
however, q young woman has pre-
sented herself who seems to answer
requirements She wears her hair in
what is vulgarly termed "bang," and only
claims to be eight and twenty, "al told" but
she comes of highly respectable family (be
ing second cousin to our butterman's first
wife,, and her character is all that could be
desired. Indeed, her late mistress gave such
a glowing account of her that my only won
der was how she could ever bring herself t.
part with her. She concluded by saying tina,
Jemima would be treasure to us. The as
sociations of the word were SO painful that
felt half inclined to say in that case wouldn't
trouble her, but reflected on the long array
of juvenile and elderly incapables who had
passed in review before me, and l thought
better of it. She is coming tomorrow.
She has come She has just arrived and
has taken a survey of her dominions Hel
first words on entering the kitchen were
"Lor, if you amt got one O. them nasty old
fashioned open ranges; which I've always
been accustomed to a kitchener. I'm sure
shan't be able to cook with that old thing"
have no doubt she is right have ar
awful prcsentiment that she will not be able
! to cook, but whose fault, whether that of the
cook or the cooking apparatus, who is to de
eide: There is only one thing to be done
1t is a sad termination to the friendship Of
years, but there is no help for it. Either fidd
or must get married, and Ill take my davy
| won't.
Poor Tidd.-Angelo J. Lewis il London
| eociesy.
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