davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

WILLIAM r. MORRISON. pois. He appears
to be in a tight place, and the air of the house
is uncomfortably warm for him. Then there
is another type of a newcomer: the Hon.
William l.. Scott, the twelve-millionair rep
resentative from Erie. Pa. and the richest
man in the house. One can imagine him
saying to himself, as he cramps himself be
fore lis school desk: "Well, I'm here at last,
but don't feel as if I'm such laundering
fellow after all. l don't know but | would
Just SIS lief sneak back home if the teacher
would only let me CO." But then there are
old scholars, who have been here for many
terms, who could have graduated long ago.
They are at ease. Many of them have charge
of classes, in the position of chairmen of the
various committees. As the arranging of
classes and the choosing of teachers in the
various branches is the important business
on hand, now let US look at the professors
that are retained under the old principal,
Carlisle.
1t was a fortunate circumstance for the
Democrats that Mr.. Carlisle was acceptable
to the ma jority as speaker for it saved them
dividing at a time when they need to present
a solid front to their opponents. Since the
Forty ninth congress has opened its doors
and begun to formulate history, it is looked
upon here as likely to be one of the most in
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
He Did Not Own the Trunk.
Healdsburg (Cal. } Enterprise

=
At one of the stations OF the San Fran
cisco AMI N j.ih Pacific railroad few Sun
days 81 n elderly gentleman got eff the
cars to take brief observations during the
sIoppage of the train. 1he assistant at the
station rushed out and made regular bag
gage smasher's attack on a trunk, which he
slammed about with a reckless disregard
for consequence. TIE old man interposed:
young man, won't you break that trunks'
The young man" turned witherin. look
upon the ol gentleman and impu lently
irQuirei: "Wnats the mater with you.
Do you Cwn this trunk" "t,;o, sirl" came
back in u tone that evinced much nligna-
ton, ''biIt / II have you TO understand. sir,
that I own this railroad As Co. Don l.
nue. novel back to the train .ha limp
young man reclinsd against the station for
support.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
brooklyn Magazine. |


The following incident is authoritatively
told oT New York merchant residing on
Hancock street, in Brooklyn. Although a
gentleman of comfortable MEANS the mer-
chant has frequently economical fits. De-
string to surprise his wife upon her return
from the country, Mr.. - concluded to
undertake the task of vanishing his dining
room, which had lost some of its lustre.
After devoting some little time to searching
for pot of varnish which had been used on
previous occasions, the merchant, coatless
and with rolled up sleeves, began the job,
which, after labor of over eight hours, he
finished to his entire satisfaction.
The following morning he rose early and
his first mission was to examine his work.
Greatly to his surprise he found upon enter
ing the room, that the "varnish" had not
dried a particle, although both doors and
windows had been left open. A closer ex-
animation disclosed the fact that unfortu-
nately he had not found the pot of varnish,
and had actually vanished his entire dining
room with maple syrup! This is true in
cident in which the facts are exactly as here
related
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
stNO CLASSES.''

''No classes" here? Why that is idle talk,
The village beau sneers at the country boor;
The iunportuning mendicants who walk
Our city streets despise the parish poor.
The daily toiler at some noisy loom
Holds back her garments from the kitchen
maid
Neanwh hile the latter leans upon her broom,
Unconscious of the bow the laundress made.
The grocer's daughter eyes the farmers lass
With naughty glances while the lawyer wife
Would pay no visits from the trading class
If policy were not her creed in life.
The merchants son mods coldly at the clerk;
The proud possessor of pedigree
Ignores the youth whose father rose by work
The king maiden scorns all three.
The aristocracy of blood looks down
IJpon the nouUedur rich, and in disdain
The lovers of the intellectual frown
on BOTH and worship at the shrine OF Brain
mo classes here, the clergyman has said
1--WE are one family" You see his rage
And horror when his favorite son would wed
Some pure and pretty player on the stage
II is the vain. and natural human way
of vaunting our weak selves our pride, our
worth, 80
No. till the long delayed mllennial day
Shall we behold No classes on God earth
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

lnese are cMeny GEORGE J. GOULD.
the Western Union Telegraph company, the
Manhattan Elevated railroads of New York,
and the Missouri Pacific The elder Mr.
Gould departs for a long cruise upon his
yacht Atalanta, the first of the year, and
George will manage his business interests
during his absence
There is nothing of the dude about the
young man. He is now "a years old, very
good looking, and a manly, athletic youth.
He has dark hair and eyes, He is a noted
amateur boxer among the New York young
men about town. He is entirely devoted to
his father, and regards him with as much
respect and affection as if father and son
were both poor people.
George Gould was one of the youngest
members of the stock exchange before his
retirement He is modest and good-natured,
and very popular His father early put him
in training for business. He gave him the
management of the Grand Opera house, and
also bought The New York World for him
on which to try his youthful powers of plan
ming and directing. Jay Gould has six chill
dren, four sons and two daughters.
The firm of w. E. Connor & Co. will con-
1inue in some shape. Connor and Morosini
will perhaps retire from active participation
In its affairs, and take into the company
yome of the young men about the Office as
working partners. Jay Gould thinks they
ought to retire, and lie ought to know. He
says: 'Both have more money than any man
has right to have. Mr.. Connor is worth
million at least, and Mr.. Morosini two or
three times as much. The new firm will
have my hearty good will in all its enter
prises. There never has been any interrupt
ton of the good feeling between MS,
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

DON JUAN ESMITEE. III MEXICO Inc
channel of the river being the boundary, the
Mexicans claim the land as Mexican terri
tory, and so it is. What is poor John Smith
to do? When you are in Rome you must howl
with the wolves In short time John
Smith has become transmogrified into Don
Juan Esmitee-that's the way the Mexlcans
pronounce ii. He wears a great big SOM
brero, smokes cigaritos big spurs jingle
at bis heels, he goes to mass regular
ly, and to inspire his Mexican compadres
with confidence he steals an occasional
horse. In few years, were it
not for his red head and blonde freckles and
an occasional Anglo-Saxon oath, nobody
would take him to be an American. This is
all right as far as it goes, but just about the
time Don Juan Emistee begins to relish
schile con carne' and other Mexican luxu-
ries the boundary lines get on another tare,
and going back to its old channel leaves Don
Juan Emstee high and dry on the American
side once more. The Americans reclaim
their land and if Don Juan Emistee does not
move away he fails to feel at home. The
very first time he gives any of his Mexican
lingo to his American brethren, or as soon as
he yields to his acquired habits of stealing a
horse, he has trouble of the most serious
got to the end of his rope.
Then again, in many places it goes dry
entirely, and the two twin sister republics
are left without any boundary line what
ever.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
President Of the Senate.

John Sherman, the president of the senate
and successor of the president, in case he dies
in Office. was born at Lancaster. O., May 10,
1923. His father was judge Of the supreme
court of that state, who died when John was
z years old, leaving a widow and eleven
children. The family was scattered, and
cousin of his fathers, named also John Sher-
man, took John to his home at Mount Yer
non, where he stayed four years. going to the
district school. When about Il years old he
went into the law office of his brother,
Charles T. Sherman, and studied law. He
was admitted to the bar in 1874, and went
into partnership with his brother at Mans
field. He made successful lawyer.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
A Bou ndary that Will Not Stay Put.


Ever since men had sense enough to form
themselves into communities, large rivers
have been utilized as boundary lines. 1t is
the most natural thing in the world to select
large river as a boundary line, hence rivers
are called natural boundaries 1t is impos-
sible for nations to quarrel about lines If
they are merely artificial, but the general
supposition is that river is permanent in
stitution, although, like reform candidate,
it is always running. In Europe or Asia if
you put large river down anywhere out of
doors it will stay where you put it. You
might 60 of and be gone 1000 years and
when you got back that river would be right
where you left it. Nobody can coil up a
river 1900 miles long and carry it of any
more than you can lift lofty range of
cloud-capped mountains and put it in a hand
cart. Such, at least, has been the generally
accepted opinion in regard to rivers, but
with this, as with all other rules, there is an
exception, and the exception in this case is
the Rio Grande, which is the boundary line
of the United States and Mexico.
The Rio Grande is the most peculiar river
in the world Words cannot describe its
crookedness and the color Of its waters are
like unto the complexion Of the horse thieves
who infest its borders Whether the crooked
ness of the natives is caused by the waters Of
the river, or whether the river has been in
duced to depart from the straight line Of
duty by the bad example set it by the lords
Of creation who prowl along it's banks, is one
of those intricate questions have not got
space to discuss The soil of the Rio Grande
is alluvial and very similar to that Of the
San Antonio river When it rains the soil
dissolves into q soft kind Of mush, and the
river fiops about in it, like a snake in the
water.
One Of the consequences of this is that the
boundary line between Texas and Mexico,
which is declared to be the middle of the
channel of the river, is as uncertain and as
utterly unreliable as politicians promise.
For instance, John Smith, an honest, in
dustrious and unexceptionable Anglo Saxon.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

do to see if any slate pencils or other relics
had been left over from last term by our
selves or other occupant. Then the ink
bottle and receptacle for pens is examined,
stretch is taken in the chair and the whole
outfit is thoroughly tested then and there,
for every school boy knows that the first day
is the one to complain about the accommoda-
tions, while the teacher is in gracious
humor. The way in which the members
twist around in their seats, the restlessness Of
their hands and feet, their frequent meddling
with the heat regulators in the floor, all indi-
cate that they are not yet accustomed to the
restraint Of school discipline, and emphasizes
the thought that men, even though members
of congress, are truly children of larger
growth The actions of the new members
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07


mark it when look
ing down from the
crowded reporters
roost, back of the
speaker, on the
members of the
house below. They
would come strag-
Cling in, stop for a
while in the aisles,
to shake hands or
chat for a moment,
then on reaching
their desks many
would unlock and
raise the top of the
desk, and peer in,
s,,c< nc wo neal <o
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
7as ostensibly Jay Gould's secre-

tary, but really his
body guard, to keep
the fnancier's enc
mics from doing
him physical vio-
lence. Gould took
a fancy to him,
gave him a chance,
and finally a part
nership in the firm
of w. E. Connor &
Co. N ow tn Q
swarthy Italia n
servant is worth
several millions.
He poses as a gen.
f1QYnan of noble
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
A New Delicacy.
New York Sun. |

1--WE are goin' to have pie for dinner" said
Bobby to the minister.
''Indeed" laughed the dorAinie, amused at
the little boys artlessness, 'and what kind
of pie, BobbyF'
''It's new kind Ma was talkin' this
morning about pa bringin' you to dinner SO
often, and pa said he dida't care what she
thought, and ma said she'd make him eat
humble pie before the day was over, an !
s'pose we're goin' to have it for dinner"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07


have SO long been on the defensive, seem to
be undecided as to the best plan of attack.
Both sides appear to be waiting to see which
way the cat jumps. Mr.. Carlisle, the speaker,
has just passed his 50th year. He appears in
his prime, and capable of much hard work
yet. This is his fifth term in congress- He
was elected speaker on Dec 3, 1888, and az
given pretty general satisfaction to his
party by his equitable management of the
trying position. He is also geographically
from the right section Of country Kentucky,
on account of its central location, best salts.
fes the majority. Furthermore, it is said
that he is in the very best accord with the
president. Now as to the chairmanships OF
the stan ling committees of the house, among
ehs most important ones are Those of the
ways and means, the appro priations coinage,
commerce, rivers and harbors and public
lands Speaker Carlisle will retain the old
chairmen of all these committees, as they
have been reelected The chairman of the
ways and means, William r. Morrison,
"Horizontal Bill ;" as he is best known, walks
In with the same determined, grim expression
on his face He suggests the late Gen. Grant
slightly, only that his face has more lines in
it. This is his eighth term in congress- He
is not considered "any great shakesn as
speaker or debater, but in the quieter com.
mittee room or lobby he is a little Napoleon
in the way he leads and organizes men. He
is from Waterloo, Ills, name which has not
the significance in his case that it bore to the
first Napoleon.
An excellent speaker in caucus is Richard P.
Bland of the committee on coinage, He will
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
A Challenge to the East.

Upon this story we confidently defy the
united genius of the aggregated press of the
east. A small boy at Quincy, in this state,
went up the mountain side full Of pleasure at
the first fall of snow. At the summit he
slipped and rolled down the hill, becoming
the nucleus of vast SNOWFALL, which hope
lessly imprisoned him. He was missed after
several hours and the searchers got on the
track of the SNOWFALL and trailed it to where
it had leaped from cliff to canyon. Look
ing down they could see it lodged in the
boughs of pine tree. They finally got it,
broke it open and found the boy inside,
alive, but rather chilly. Upon this incident
we rest the reputation of California for the
season.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

are most conspicu-
GUS. They try to
appear at home at
once, but their very
endeavor seems to
add to their eInbar-
rassInent. The sue
cessor to the viva
cious "Sunset" Cox
is an example. His
name is Campbell.
In New York he is
c a ii e d Tim "
Campbell for short.
He fills Sunsets
almost twice
over in ayOirdII-
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
THE FORTY-NINTH CONGRESS.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 9.-Ihese opening days
OF congress are for all the world, like the
first days in school after vacation. We all
remember them, and how little was accom-
plished other than the making of acquaint-
ances or the renewal of old friendships 1t
is inst 60 here And one could not help re-
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
They Met by Chance
New YORK Star,

'Are you on any particular layG' he asked
Of stranger while waiting at the Union de-
pot at Buffalo. 'Oh, yes!" was the reply. Il
thought SO, from your looks. L work the
three-card monte racket on greenhorns.
What do you doF' II work tie detective
racket on three-card monte sharpsT was tie
prompt response, as the hand.affs wers
snapped On.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
Helena, Montana. Thursday, January 7, 1886.

preparations will have the stalwart, Sam
uel j. Randall, at its head. His expe
rience in congress dates back a dozen
terms or since December, 1868, He leads
the protection wing of the Democratic party,
and can be relied on while he lives to never
finch from his position. Certain poses Of
his head suggest Edwin Booth, and Randall
would undoubtedly have made great actor
had he not become, as his friends claim, the
best type of legislator of our day.
John Fl. Reagan, of Texas, is the chairman
of the committee on commerce. Interstate
commerce is his hobby, and to this Question
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

ALBERT s. WILLIS horse since. DE fol-
lowed his state into the confederacy, being
postmaster general Of their provisional gov
ernment, which Office he continued after their
permanent organization was formed.
Albert s. Willis is still another Kentuckian
and warm friend Of Speaker Carlisle.
He is one of the young men Of the
house, being but AZ years Of age. He
has been eight years in congress,
and is reappointed to his old place in charge
of the committee on rivers and harbors. The
chairmanship of the committee on public
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07


of the money get
ter. That peculiar,
long, strong nose
goes with the
money king. Geo.
j., the other jays
son, does not have
it. Yet the young
man himself is mo
slouch' of a inan-
cier, with hts pas
millions to back
him. George is
vice-president of
the organizations
of which his father
still retains control
and is president.
IN
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
Her Only Weakness.
Fall River Advance ]

Bravery! why there is no bravery like that
Of true woman. Neither poverty nor want
can vanquish it. Living for those she loves
and loved by those with whom she hves-nor
danger nor disease, nor disaster can appal
her; aud she will bear scorn, contumely and
cruelty without murrnur on cry, and defy
the world to do its worst-provided always
that she doesn't happen to see mcuss while
her bravery is being tested
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

Italian family, high tone, coat of arms and
that sort of rot. When his daughter marries
the coachman he fairly goes into convulsions
about the disgrace to his blue blood Il am
a Roman, and know how to hate, he ex-
claims tragically and dramatically. Where
upon New Workers naturally ask: "Who's
Norosini, anyhow, that he should kick up
S1lch a. thllpderiuD rowT'
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
Nearly Went into Hero glyphics.
Evansville Argus.


''Yes," said Mrs. Brown to Mrs. Smith,
~the poor man suffered awful pains. He
was in tonatose state for three long days,
caused from suspension. The doctor said
that he was troubled with animation of the
stomach and also slight confusion of the
bowels, which at first seemed like an attack
of sporadic coloric. But the poor mans
time had come, and l suppose his death
could not be helped, SO at exactly o'clock
his soul passed to that home from which no
man returneth. l felt sorry for his wife.
The poor woman nearly went into hero
glyphics."
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
Carrying UuJ instructions.
Stockton Maverick,


Little Jenny's big sister is entertaining Mr..
Skibbers and thinks she can get along with
out Jenny's assistance, so she pats the little
ore on the head and says:
"Come, little pet, it is time your eyes wess
closed in sleepn
''Gdess not says Jenny; mother told me
to keep my eyes open when you and Mr.
Skibbers were together"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

teresting sessions
since the war.
There seems to be
no positive line of
action decided on
by either Of the
great parties. Their
po 81 tt o Ms being
changed explains it
probably, the here
tofore aggressive
Democratic pha-
lanx in the house
is now placed on
its good behavior,
while the Republi-
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

settles S on the
American side of
the Rio Grande.
He is an American
citizen in the fullest
sense of the word.
The Rio Grande,
according to the
costumbre del Pals,
gets on a bender.
The next morning
John Smith finds
out that he has be-
come, by the act of
God. as Blackstone
calls it, a Mexican.
The boundary line
has gone around
him during the
night, having Sc
lected a new chan
mel, which leaves
him several miles
in MavioO The
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
Prosperity of a California Editor.

Some Of our creditors intimated to us this
week that the printing business must be good.
We wish to say that if they have discovered
any signs of prosperity it was not brought
about in any legitimate business. Four aces
and ten spot furnished the money to pro
duce the improvement.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

lands is filled by
Thomas r. Cobb,
of Indiana. He be-
gan his career here
in the forty-ffth
congress with Viii
lis. The old COM
mittee on naval
affairs has lost four
of its leading men,
the most notable
being " Suns $ e t"
Cox, who will, in
deed, be missed. 1t
iS too aarly thor,uh
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
Brief, But Effectual Advice.

lIoDay.J
Good morning, sir"
Morning"
"I-er-beg your pardon"
II beg yours, SIR"
''May ask what you gave your horse for
the botts!"
"Turpentine, sir"
mo, thanks-er-er-goodm morning"
''Good morning"
"Good morning, SIR"
"Good morning"
"Beg pardon, but did understand you to
say that you gave your horse turpentine for
the botts!"
eyes, sir.
"Well, tried it and it killed my horse"
''It killed mine, sir.'
''Oh-er-er-good morning"
"Good morning"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07
JAY GOULD LEAVES WALL STREET.
Portraits and Sketches of Him-His Part
ners, Wicked and Otherwise.

ners, Wicked and Otherwise.
Especial Correspondence
New YORK, Dec. "a ripple passed over
the waves of Wall street at the announce.
ment that Jay Gould would sever active con-
nection with i'll speculations at the end of
the year. New Workers speak of Wall street
simply as ''the street"
For the last nine years Mr. Gould has been
a special partner in the firm of Washington
E. Connor & Co. This firm consisted of
Connor, G. P. Morosini, Jay Gould and his
son George ]. The son also goes out with his
father
II have beeh nearly twenty-five years in
Wall street" sid Mr.. Gould, speaking of his
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

retirement, land it
is about time, l
think, that / made
way for younger
and more &C tive
men. l am nearly
fifty years old and
have earned a rst.
My connection with
Wall street, how
ever, has been slight
for a long time. /
sold out all my
speculative hold
ings during tn
summer and the
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

he has devoted a
dozen years of his
life. Reagan was
from Tennessee or.
iginany. At the age
of q he ellligrated
into the republic
of Texas. Six years
later the republic
was annexed, and
Reagan went into
the state house of
representatives and
has been an old war
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1886-01-07

wishes it understood that he is no
longer a specula.or, only an investor. He
will develop in every way the resources of
the three investments named and devote
himself to their improvement The proper.
ties are now in excellent shape, he declares,
and he thinks good times are here agair