Middletown transcript., 1886-08-19
s'EEht 'Mta,,stript
Thursday Asternoon. August 10, 1855
z VARIETIES.

II
observed Catskill boarding-rnistress.
/" Yes-for chickens" said the board
er \" | have been here several seasons
and haven't seen dead one yet"
She took the hint. :.
N cAScvsS Blood Elixir is the the, only mi!
teed. 1t is positive cure for Ulcers, Erup-
tionsor Syphilitic Poisoning. ltpurifes the
whole system, and banishes all Rheumatic
and Neuralgia pains. we guarantee 1t.
L GAYLORD BRA AGDON, DRUGGIST.
Bank presidents, as rule, are
opposed to silver dollars They don't
want them in the bank. There is q
reason for this. Al bank officer going
suddenly to Canada, couldn't carry
silver dollars enough with him to last
a week. go
Coop RESULTS IN EVERY CASE
d. A. Bradford, wholesale paper
dealer, Of Chattanooga, Tenn, writes,
that he was seriously afflicted with a
severe cold that settled on his lungs !:
had tried many remedies without
benefit. Being induced to try Dr.
Kings New Discovery for Consump-
ton, did so and was entirely cured by
use Of a. few bottlest Since which
time he has used it in his family for
all Coughs and Colds with best results.
This is the experience Of thousands
whose lives have been saved BY this
Wonderful Discovery. Trial Bottles
free at DR.. j. Gibson CAROLS Drug
Store.
A LEVEL.HEADED SON-IN-LAW.-'
Now, James," he said to bis new
son-in-law, when the couple returned
from their bridal tour. :" You have
money, and you will probably want to
speculate more Or less. You of course
know that am a broker ?" I" Yes,
SIR" "And in case you make any
deals Certainly, sir; but you
should remember that while circum.
stances make father-in-law, choosing
your broker is matter of business
Wall Street News.
GOVNNoVNAOVNS certain certain IN their heir
results, are Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets;
Recommended by physicians and endorsed
by all who have used them. The Dest
remedy for Dyspepsia, Tlatulency and Com
stipation. Guaranteed and sold as 25c. by
J. GAYL0RD BRA GD0N, DRUGGIST.
-Ir Would MAKEA LADY OF HER.
First New York Girl" Why do
you marry Lord Symperson? Do you
love him ?"
Second New York Girl" No; but
it will makesin a lady q .
First New York Girl" That's so.
Strange l never looked at it in that
light "-Tidbits.
-GREATEsT DISCOVERY SINCE
1892. For coughs, colds, sore throat,
bronchitis, laryngitis, and consnmps
.tion in its early stages, nothing equals
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery." 1t is also great blood
purifier and strength-restorer, or tonic,
and for liver complaint and costive
condition Of the bowels it has no
equal. Sold by druggists.
NN r~>o>>. of tho good things Of this
NANNNs1 life are sorrowfully let
alone on account Of Dyspepsia. Acker's
Dynepsia % Tablets wili cure Dyspepsia,
Indigestion and Constipation; sold on q
positive guarantee at 25 and 30 cents, by
J. GAYLORD BRAGDoN, DRUGGIST
- AN EVEN THING. Tennessee
Farmer-Now, sir, if you want to
make bargain, I'm ready to trade
my horse for your wife.
Georgian-But suppose my wife
kicks i?
Tennessee. Farmer-So will my
horse -Tidbits,
-THE virtues of St Jacobs Oil, as
proclaimed by millions Of restored
sufferers. should induce every one to
supply his household with this great
specific. 1t conquers pain.
HIS WIT SAVED HIM.-The fol-
lowing story is told of the individual
who had long oficiated as the garden
er at the Presidential mansion in
Washington
President Cleveland had heard
rumors that the gardener was drunk
and unciyil to visitors at the White
House, SO one bright morning he
summoned him into his presence to re-
ceive his dismissal
Jenny said the President, Il
hear bad stories about you. 1t is said
you are constantly drunk and unciyil
to visitors" s4Issse
Jenny was puzzled for a reply.
At last be said:
aMr. Presidint, be dad | hear much
worse stories about you, but do you
think | believe them? No, by the
powers | know they are lies."-Wash-
ington Capital.
GNMN SAee>N aoggn1sin, aighss Il tes Sf
thousands suffering from Asthma, Con-
sumption, Coughs, etc. Did You ever try
Aeker,s English Remedy It is the best
preparation known for all Lung Troubles,
sold on q positive guarantee at 10c., Doc.
= j. GAYLORD BRAGDoN, DRUGGIST
Niemann, the great Wagner
tenor, it is authoritatively stated, has
been engaged for the Metropolitan
Opera House for the next season. y
-" IT is as harmless as it is effect
;rn - Ia ,urknt L. aaid nF Pad Sfar