The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-03-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

An old negro with an air OF utter detection, sat
on a bench in front of a cabin. Some one: seeing
that he must be miserable, stopped and said;
''You do not seem to be enjoying yourself, old
man.: ,,onon - time Cor NV ,,ovmant i dim
"What is the matter?v
'.Wife dun dead, honey
81 am very sorry to hear that, and assure yen
that you have my sympathy"
"A man loses a good friend when his wife dies"
FDat he do, honey dat he do. has foun dat
out to my, sor', let me you, an now my sood
days is all gone
Il Dunno honey. She TUX sick one night an
she died de naix ebsrnn. 1t was er awful blow
on me, fur dat oman was earnn' fifteen dollars lars
arter de white folks had raised her wages. reared
like long as she worked fur So er munf. she kept
her belt, but the $16 peared like, wuz too much
fur her. Yes. sab, she was snatched off at de-
berry time when she wuz de mos use to me. |
doan know what's to come O. me. I'll hab stcr go
to work, Use afeard.'
We have sold quite lot Of your Athlophoros,
and in every case it has given perfect satisiac-
ton. FL. F. Wyatt, druggist, Plymouth, N. II.
Testimonials to the same effect showing its cures
in rheumatism and neuralgia.
Bagley (confdentially to pickpocket on the
back ,platforml-".My good fellow, | wish you
wouldn't try that
Pickpocket On great trepidation)-"I, sir?
Bagiey (soothingIy)- "There, there; don't apol-
ogiZe. You've been trying to pick my pocket, and
think it my duty to tell you that the walletyoure
lingering is filled with bills which I've been try
ing to collect for six months, and don't believe
you can do any better"
Dyspepsia in its worst forms will yield to the
use of Carters Little Nerve Pills aided by Car
ter's Little Liver Pills. They not only relieve
present distress but strengthen the stomach and
digestive organs.
A Japanese has discovered a process Of making
paper from Seaweeds 1t is thick In texture, ana,
owing to its transparency, can be substituted Tor
glass in windows, and when colOred makes an eX-
cellent imitation Of stained glass.
Quincy troubIed:me for twenty years. Since l
started using Dr. Thomas's Electric Oil, have not
had an attack The Oil cures sore throat at once"
Mrs Letta Conrad Standish, Mich.
President Harrsons great-great- grandfather,
who was one of the regicides OF Cnarles l.. was
convicted of high treason. Pepys, IN his diary,
Oct 13, 1860, refers in this comforting way 10 MS
execution: 80. -.
eral Harrison hanged, drawn and quartered,
and he looked as cheerful as any man could III
that condition" .
father OF President Harrison and great-grandson
of the man who departed this life in such gentle
manlike manner, according to Pepys, had Just
signed the Declaratiau of independence in Ph1la-
delphia. His weight was nearly 300 pounds,
while that of Z bridge Gerry, who sat beside him.
was hardly more than that Of the late Alexander
H. Stephens.
GERRY" said Harrison, you'd better not sign
that paper. There's been some hanging IN my
family and we are somewhat used to 1t, More
over, will have another advantage over you. 1t
will be over with me in minute. This ponder
oSity will crack my neck, while you'll be kicking
and squrming about In the air long after I'm
gone. "-Ben: Perley Poore