The Washington critic., 1886-06-10
GENERAL AND CRITICULAK.

Il Elinlra uaZelle.
GENERAL AND CRITICULAK.
Tingle-ty.ting ting.ting went the tele-
phone in the hotel Office.
~ gay " said n strange guest as the
clerk went to answer the call, "what kind OF
telephone do you use here?"
"The Bell, OF course. Didn't YOU hear It
ring'"
The clock had struck midnight in the
residence Of Congressman and still the
young man in the parlor did not go. The
young fellow had been away for two weeks
and the girls father was willing that he
should have n fair show, but this was too
much, and at last he went to the head OF
the stairs and listened q minute.
"Mollie !" he called sharply.
"Yes, Papa" came the silvery voice OF
his child with a slightly smothered ac
cent.
at is after twelve O'clock"
"Yes, Papa, and we are doing all we can
to expedite the accumulated business. We
will adjourn by and by, Papa"
The helpless father, unable to answer
the argument, returned to his bed In tears.
When Congressman is speaking,
And he won't learn how to stop,
And you get so awful weary
That you want to call COP
Give him leave to print!
When preacher gets to preaching,
And he never makes q hit,
And the people 60 to snoring
In the hope that he will quit
Give him leave to print!
When bore comes in the office,
And he occupies your lime,
TIL you wish he were transported
To great deal warmer cline
Give him leave to print!
When a woman starts to talking,
With her dear, delightful zest,
And you feel premonition
That you'll never get rest
Give her leave to print
When poet In his frenzy,
That glints and CLEANS and shines.
Takes a wild ebulient notion
TO throw of few brief lines
Don't give him leaye to print!
A butter maker has failed in Illinois for
100000. He could have made his butter
stronger, but his motto was: Good, butter,
bust, and he couldn't stand it.
"Yes, yes" mumbled the old sexton as
he dug the seventh grave for the week,
''the bury crop is very good this season, and
can't complain"
Five hundred gallons Of NICE fresh moou-
shine whisky were dumped into creek in
Tennessee yesterday by revenue officers,
and they call this an Administration Of
Democrats, by Democrats for Democrats.
Bah!
~ don't care II Mr.. Cleveland is Pres
byterian," said an old lady in New Eng
land, 81 don't like him."
"Why notS" was asked
"Just because he amt Christian"
"IIe isn't a very bad man, is he?'
"Mebbe not; but be aln't good Chris
tian or he wouldn't have so much to say
about offensive Puritans. What have they
ever done to him, I'd like to know9n
FLOWER MISSION DAY.
She knew not beauty,
For her eyes were closed in everlasting
blindness.
The glad sun shone the sky was blue,
But all the world was dark to her.
Her nights were passed in pain;
Her days were nights.
Alone and friendless, sick and poor,
She was the Public's ward
Fruit, rpening for the Potter's field.
But God is good-and In the radiant June
Kind women came with flowers in their
hands.
She could not see, but eagerly
| She turned her poor wan face
| And stretched her crippled hands
| To catch the angels breath,
| The fragrance OF the flowers.
| They gave them to her and she wept;
| She kissed them tenderly,
| Then laid them on her sightless eyes:
"How beautiful" she whispered
And she slept.
"Does Miss Cleveland's new novel trea
| OF the Thirty Years. War;" asked plair
| reporter Of the book editor
Not hardly replied that scholarly
| person. What makes you ask that kind o
question:"
swell, judged by the name. It's 'Th,
Long Row. amt itS and the Thirty Years
War was the longest row OF modern times
reckon. You needn't be so darnet
smart" and the snubbed reporter went ol
writing a full and explicit description o
the dog fight down in Goat Alley.
| Mr.. j. II. w, Onion has been dismissed
from position in the Baltimore Manua
Training School, The opposition to hin
was very strong, 1t Is said.
|
| Decline in Ostrich Feathers.
The value Of ostrich feathers has lonj
been declining, until the price OF prlm
whites has sunk from ESQ to 9l0 per pound
Indeed, at q sale last month at Cape Tow
| 1920 pounds Of mixed feathers realized
f3,047, values having fallen Is per cent
from previous sales. This serious deprecia
tion may be attributed TO various causes
/ .x.tht tAl. L.L