New-York tribune., 1886-04-05

THE TALK or THE DAY

Il.
"Lampasas Jake" the cowboy evangelist who s hoy.
ing revivals In New-Mexico. beat Sam Jones a.
vernacular preacher Hero an extract from one Of
his sermons " How many OF yous ready to die now
with your boots on Where'd yon be to breakfast
Don't any of you drunken, swearing fighting blasphem
Ing. gambling, thieving tinhOrn con-raint extermt
mating gaoots look at me ugly. because know ye Fve
been through the drive. You're all In your sins You
know fat. wefed. wellcared for thoroug branded
steer when and you tell whose It ia and
where It beonga There's man that Ownsit There IL
place for IL to go. There's law to protect IT, But
the mayerck-wh0s is thatl You're all maverick and
worse Tho maverick has brand on him. lie goes
belerng about until somebody takes him in and cIa.ps
the branding iron him. But you whelps, you've got
the devils brand on you You've got his lariat about
you lie lets have rope now. but he'll haul you in
when he wants frcwood"
Up to date while very many Congressional orators
have believed 1t to be their duty the representatives
"a vi 'o poope 70 ako Few renarss upon tho
slimportant question now pending very few havo
paused for reply. History Will show that the orator
pause for reply" will never be President Wash
Dgton Critic
L. s. W. De Coban is Grand Master OF tho Belfast
Orangemen and one OF the members of Parliament for
the town. lie is not well schooled in asking ques-
tons in the House the Parnetes are His first at
tempt made last week, when he wanted to know ia
Catholic priest IN Drogheda had been pursued and
beaten by Catholics and would have been killed had he
not taken refuge in the house Of Protestant Chief
Secretary Moreys reply characteristic: Tho
question s interesting though unfortunately naccurate
There is not word OF truth it" It is sad that Mr.
Cobain wont ask another question until Tories return
to power.
Pedestrian (meetng deaf huntep-Can you tell me
II this Is the road TO Venice Centrel
Enthusiastic Hunter-Yes. yes fine dav for sport
Pedestrian 1oudcrs this the roal 70 Venice Centrei
Hnnter-Yes. yes fne brace or birds aren't they
Pedestrian (shouinzD-Are you fool
Hunier-fes yes; plenty more Of them over there
It'd Bits.
poor woman in an English town has just been
fenced to twelve months in Jail At hard LABOR fos slei
ing fourpence worth OF turnips.
"Oh say, old chap, did you heah that Willie watw-
The doOce. Willie must have been tewIbly fwight-
ened."
"Oh, no. He wasn't theah. flown Topics.
Says The Syracuse Stand1rd with cutting irony: Tho
Democrats rejoice because John Roach is at last quiet
He is not more quiet than American ship-buildins."
Good morning, Ccely my dear exclaimed her init.
" Do 20 down aud help select a new spring
wrap. Now that's good dear
Why. now. 1t really IS impossible. You know
helped you select your winter cloak and you always
thought 1t was horrd thing"
True; but this time, yOu know, only want your
Judgment so "a 10 know w1at nor 10 buy"
No woman consented to such conditions, and no
woman ever will Hartford Post
little girl In OF the Hudson River towns went to
her first party recently. and was escorted home bya
young boy. When they reached the maden's door tho
boy in true rustic style, offered to kiss her. she To-
cln-d whereupon he exclaimed: "Ths is the arst
time girl refused to let kiss her. and you can't
think how Hat it makes feel"
WESTERN Boys LAMENT.
wished lived away down East where Goldfish salt tho
And the folks have pumpkin pie and applessss
for
Us boys who's nvn' West don't get MORN halfa
We don't have nothn' else do but jest sort O
grow.
oh, II wuz a bird I'd fly million miles away
To where they feed their boys and beans thr
times aday;
To where the place they call the Hub gives out It's shiny
spOkes,
And where the foks-so father says-s mostly women
folks.
-[Chicago News.
Local statesman-"T This thing OF arresting bs
cause they 90 into business he stopped II they
keep on they will tho whole party In jail"
Henchman-" What business they arrestlns
nowl
Local statesman" Why the men engaged In the alder
manic business. you fool"
Henchman--" Oh yes forgot the fact is. this
try gettin to be place for white man; the kid
glove fellers are beguning to kick"
Although the spring is rather backwar in things
rather forward in other respects II s for example,
a good time to pick ex Aldermen, many OF whom arc
than ripe.
didn't think there would be such unannity in ths
Senate on that Educational BILL remarked Democrat
To HE Republican friend.
1t couldn't be Otherwise" the reply.
How that r"
well the Democrats. favored the appropriation be.
Democratic states going to get the bulk OF
the money aud Republicans favored IT, because when
the Democrats got tue education that money wodd
they would become republicans See -
No, Idon't, said the Democrat In huf I Merchant
Traveller.