Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-08-24
Peok's Bad Boy.

"SpreCkenScdeitchcV said the bad
boy, standing in the door of the gro
Gerry, eating thing that was alleged
to be a California apricot, but which
tasted like a wilted plum.
"No, L don't spreckensy anything
but plain North American English"
said the groccryman, "and mighty lit
tle2f that. But before we have an
other SGngerfest here am going TO
learn German from the ground up.
Since | put up those notices you gave
me have had more trouble than |
ever had in my life. All day yester-
day the grocery was full of people
from foreign lands who tried to talk
TO me, and make me understand what
they wanted. They would come in
smiling, and say something about
Sicei gld,rS bier and kGSe, and would
make motions to them and shake my
head, and they would go ont and
pointto the German notices you gave
me, and seem to call me names, and
20 off mad. l don't know what to
make oft. They cat a whole cheese
for me, and enc fellow took drink
out of a pint cup of kerosene that |
had drawn for customer. What is
it on those notices, any way?'
"That's what came over to tell
YOU" said the bad boy, as he ate
peach TO take the taste of the apricot
out of his mouth. "You leave those
notices up in front of the store an
other day, and you are ruined man.
We had them up in front of our house
the first day of the SGngerfesi, and
they broke us all up. You see Pa
wants to be elected coroner next fall,
cause he wants an easy job, and he
thinks setting on corpses would he
about hard enough work for him. lie
wanted TO become solid with the Ger
mans, who do a good deal of voting.
and so he concluded 10 decorate our
house during the SGhgerfest. Ma
kicked on it because she belongs TO
the church, and she thinks foreigners
ought to be sent back where they
came from, except hired girls. Ma
belongs to a temperance society, too,
and she has been afraid some of the
Snngorfest would drink. But Pa lie
argued with Ma, and she agpecd to
the scheme, so Pa went to the barber
who shaves him and who is Dutch,
and got him to write out some sell
fences in German language. Pa told
the barber he wanted the words "Wel-
come, Mr.. Deitcher,' and such things
that would make the visitors feel that
there was nothing mean about him.
Well, that barber fixed pa. lie wrote
out all these things you have got here,
and we put them up in front of the
house, and pledge you my word,
the first day of the Spngerfest our
house and yard was full of people.
First there came lot Of fellows and
girls, playing accordeonE, and after
they played tune they started TO 60
in the house, but ma hadn't never
been introduced 10 them, and she
kicked. They seemed astonishetl, but
they went away. There were men
and women coming all the time, and
they came smiling, and went away
looking mad. Pa couldn't account
for it. lie laughed when they would
talk German, and said: 'Why, Ger.
tainly, of course Finally ma asked
him if lie knew what was printed OIL
the strips of cloth he had tackled W
in front of the house, and he said he
didn't know certain, except that he
told the barber he wanted Welcome
and so forth. Ma said she guessed
there was too much so forth, and he
better have the notices Interpreted
So pa got fireman, who is a Ger
man, to read the Inscriptions and in
terpret them. lie did so, and villa
do you think they were. One of then
was welcome to our hospitality, a
all hours, day and night Another
was 'Free lunch at all hours Tn,
third one was Fresh beer on tap, fire,
as the air you BREATHE and another
said, Make yourselves at home, jus
as though you owned the place.
Well, when the fireman told pa wha
kind of advertisements he had beer
having on the house all day, he wa
mad, and ma began to rip them dowl
and pa asked the fireman to writ,
him out something that meant wei
come, but not SO gol burned welcome
just welcome to pass along the street
hut not welcome to come into dinner
The fireman fixed up something fol-
pa, but don't know what tits, though
people look at it, and hurry right by
Our hired girl saysi it is a scarlet fe
yer notice."
"And these are the same NOTICE,
that | have been using all day." said
the groceryman, as he began TO tear
them down. 81 have a great mind 10
kill you. After you found out what
inscription was on them, why didn't
you destroy them, instead ofbringing
them TO me? 0, am ruined"
"Thats what pa says" answered
the boy, and he took revolver and
went to kill the barber, but he came
back along towards morning hiccup-
ping, and singing thc'Wachity Rhine,
aud guess he concluded to kill the
barber by drinking him drunk. If
you don't want these notices. saw so.
thought you wanted them or
would never have given them to you.
But | know what | will do. Our
minister is away on a vacation, and |
will tell his hired girl that the mayor
sent the notices and ordered them
put on the house, and the bad boy
took the German inscriptions and
went off whistling prize oratorio
entitled, 'NiXyweden,' while the gro.
ccryman hung out plain American
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