The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1886-07-22
A DAKOTA LIAR.
He Tells Few Stories About the Ambi-
tious Territory.


In the east thousands of people plant
and SOW 'in' the moon" 10 insure rapid
growth, but in Dakota it is dangerous
to plant in the prolific phase of the
moon, SO they are careful to plant at
such time that the moon will exert its
influence in holding the crop back.
have known several disasters to result
from neglect of this precaution. One
day last January got lost out in the
country, and while was toiling through
the tall, new grass saw man with
nothing on but his suspcnders tearing
along like mad. He stopped just long
enough to tell me what was up. and off
he went again for the Iowa side of the
Sioux river, which he cleared at a
bound, and fell on all fours into snow
DRIFT four feet ueep. lie said he and his
wife had looked up the moon business,
and had planted their garden the even
ing before, but happened to get hold of
last years almanac, and missed it about
four days. The result was that when
he woke up that morning the beets that
he planted forty feet from the house had
crushed in his cellar walls, and a squash
vine had taken the door off its hinges
and was just mopping the floor with all
there was left of his hired man, whom
it had snatched out of bed in the attic
He didn't know where his wife was, but
he saw some shreds of nightgown and
several agate buttons in the front yard
as he fled. He said there were peavines
after him, with pods ON 'em large enough
for phantom boats; and one could see
by the way he was dressed that if he
was a liar at all he was not a regular
Dakota thoroughbred sample. If 1
really thought would ever become an
average Dakota liar would want to die.
This territory must be divided some
time before the day of Judgment, for
how could the Almighty ever audit
its accounts with only one set of clerical
angels at work at time?
About two weeks ago saw farmer
out behind a straw-stack gathering into
q heap lot of old bones and pieces of
hides. and sprinkling salt on them.
Yesterday saw this same man selling
fine pair of steers to butcher up
town. They were SO fat and had filled
up so fast that he had pieced out their
hides with an old buffalo robe. This
granger was a Sunday-school superin-
tendent before he came to Dakota, but
he swore that these were the same cattle
had seen him kicking together behind
the straw-stack. He said all that they
had eaten was some wild grass that
had sprung up in his door-yard, where
the women folks had thrown out a few
tubs OF warm sOapsuds on wash days.
He said that he had learned that the
best way to winter stock in Dakota was
! to knock them all to pieces in the fall
and set them up again as wanted, other
wise, unless we get a blizzard every
week, they were liable to get too fat and
round on the native grass. ........
Last fall 1 stopped at house to bor-
row a match to light my pipe with. The
man told me to 90 right out in the gar
den and pick all / wanted. did not
know what he meant at first, but he
went out with me. and-Tm almost
afraid you'll think I'm liar for telling
it-there was about half an acre grow
ing the finest parlOr matches / ever saw.
| They were as thick rs hairs on a blind
mole. He said he had poor crop the
year before because the seed was too
good for such soil. This year he had
mixed his seed matches with about one
fourth tOothpicks and got splendid
yield. .
went out after breakfast and saw
the man blowing up hubbard squashes
with gunpowder. They were too large
to be moved. and the farmer wanted
the ground. l noticed that one of his
wife's legs was about eight inches long
er than the other, and the man explain
ed it thus: He said when they first
came to Dakota they lived in "dug-
out. with nothing but the ground for a
floor, from which tsay had to NOW the
grass once a day to find the baby. He
said his wife had habit of sitting with
one leg over the other knee. and the leg
that remained in contact with the soil
got such start that the other could
never catch up.-Ddkota Cor. Modern
Miller. ...s-..