The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-03-18
THE PRESS.
rHnRsnAY MORNING. MARCH is.
WIT AND WISDOM.
WIT AND WISDOM.

A little three-yeer old, who had several times
visited the dime museum with his parents, was
taken to church one Sunday and asked by his
father what he saw.
HWell.n said the youngster. 'a man got up and
shook his arms and talked, but / didn't like 1t
much, because they didn't let us see the mon
keys"
Do not suffer from Sick Headache a moment
longer. 1t is not necessary Carter'S Little Liy-
er Pills will cure you. Dose one little pill. All
druggists sell them.
The newspapers are full of prescriptions for the
cure of hydrophobia. What we consider the best
prescription OF all has not yet been published Ii
Cold lead, one-half ounce. Directions; apply
internayto the dogs head
NJ L. Scranton, Pa, Blair Alderman 9th Ward,
stated Nov g., 49, He had used Dr. Thomas
Electric Oil for sprains, burns, cuts, bruises and
rheumatism Cured every time.
Jeems knocks a cup off the mantel, shivering it
into thousand fragments His mistress, nearing
the noise rushes in and stands moment stupe-
fed by the result of her servants awkWaruhess.
"o,o she cries, with tears in her eyes my peau
90" exclaimed, Jeems in a joyous tome Sc
raphic smile spreading over his face, 81 was so
frightened at first. l thought II was something
new"
NAN,
have sold quite a lot of it, find that it is good
thing for rheumatism and neuralgia, and that peo-
pie get good results from it." reports George NAL
lard a prominent druggist of Laconia, N H.
Palpitation of the heart, nervousness trem-
blings, nervous headache, cold hands and teet,
pain in the back, and other forms of weakness are
relieved by Carter's Iron Pills, made specially for
the blood nerves and complexion.
The HISTORIAN" of the Boston, Record relates
the following as solid fact" The essence ven ven
der who called upon Longfellow for poetry to be
paid for in essences, and whose story Is go0o,na,
turedly told by the poet in his Journal appned
first to another New England poet at his home In
the country. He introduced himself as 'protes-
sor' of essences, and modestly requested the poet
to make him an epitaph his wife, to be paid for
In 'sassafrax. eheckerberry or peppermint he
had put up stone-he gave its weight ana a.
mensions-and all that was wanting was the
muses. part. The poet replied; - ,..,,o,,
81 am very busy just now, but there Is man
down in Cambridge who writes poetry sometimes
Have you ever heard of Longfellow?"
"Se6ms to me have heard of hun. / am going
to be In Cambridge tomorrow, and ~ cal on
him. Good. day, and I'm much 0bleeged to you,
said the essence peddler
Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liv-
or oil with Hypophosphites, Is combi-
nation OF two most valuable remedies, in palata-
bic and easily dlgested form, having great heal
ing and strengthening properties, most valuable
In Consumption and wasting diseases
A bachelor physician, Of Cincinnati was once
called to see young widow, you are lonesome,
said the doctor. your husband has been dead
three years I'd advise you to marry again.:
"Oh, doctor, I'll marry you tomorrow, II you
will have me-"
"Ah ali! Welt" muttered the doctor, stepping
back and blushing, "you know, madam, that
physicians never take their own prescriptions"
Vegetine has cured many cases of rheumatism
byits action as a blood purifier.
A colored man, evidently a, stranger in Austin
was staring around as if looking for something
which he could not find, when he was accosted by
Uncle Nose;
s'Who is yer lookin' for, niggah?'
Il wants ter sec Kuruel Yerger."
"Does yer know him when yer sees hlm?"
''No"
him?"
mo"
"Ef yer sees Kurnel Yerger yer can tell hits him
right off by his not ben so bald-headed as Jedge
Peterby and by his not wearn the same sort OF
hat"