Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-08-11
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
MAN who has scolding wife savs
he is going through the journey OF life
by rail-
Ir must be water on the brain which
gives the dude his high-drawlic manner
Of speech.
PAwNBRoKERs and drunkards are
always taking pledges--the former
sometimes keep them.
FORTY rods make one rood, but one
rod will often make one civil, especially
in the case of the small boy.
The one half of the world that
doesn't know how the other half lives, !.
is not the inquisitive half-Boston
Courier.
SOME one wants to know where the
idea of rowing originated. Why, from
the fishes, of course. Haven't You
seen shad roe?
The telescope of the Great Lick OBJ
sersatory draws the moon so close that
you can read the advertisements on The
board fences. ---Arhansam Trareler.
MrNIsTER-My good friend, why
don't you reform and abandon your
bad habits? Seedy Gent Well, par
son, amt my habits abandoned enough
already?
LITTLE Tony, aged 8, asks his little
playmate: "How old are you now, Luz
cille?" I'm 6, Tony" soho!
years, indeed! Are you quite sure?
You women are always making YOUR
selves out to be younger than you are. "
HoMELY ADVICE.
Man, show yourself of noble soul
While here you are u dwellsr,
Don't let your wife bring up the coal
And kindlng from the cellar.
But do that work yoursef-retloct
You swora to love her ever.
BE good to her aud her respect
Aud love will leave you never.
Boston Courier.
81 UNDERSTAND You have Mr.. Hard.
pan for o tenant?" "The Lord has SO
willed it, yes sir" "How does he pay
his rent? Monthly?" "No, sir! quar-
terly and annually" "How can that
be?" why, he gives me a quarter
on account about once year. "-IOn-
kers Gazette.
SoLIcIToUs Hostess-I hope the
| cats last night did not disturb you.
They made such noise | could not
sleep; but hope they did not annoy
YOU. AEible Visitor-Oh, no indeed
quite the reverse, assure you. Ihave
daughter who is learning to play the
| piano. Lynn Union.
"Oh. thank You" exclaimed Popin-
Joy, effnsively. I'm eternally obliged
to you for your kindness. I'll remem-
Der you in my prayers" That's all
right, said his benefactor to q by
stander, "but I'm afraid it won't do me
much good He'll forget all about it
before then. "-SomerrjVe journal.
| THERE is sal state of affairs in
Russia, observed Mr.. Snaggs. "Therc
has been an increase of 800 per cent
IN the number of suicides in the last
ten years" What is the cause 2"
| asked Mrs. Snaggs. at is attributed
largely to pessimism." THAT dreadful
drink. | wonder the people don't sign
the pledge. "-PiHsbnrgh Chronicle.
| THE BORE.
He was positive and emphatic, and could talk
| man rheumatic for his thoughts were
| quite insutferabiy unique;
| He would spout forth like geyser or n circus
| advertiser with his vast untraveied soil
tubes Of cheek
| He would yank into the sanctum where so
| many cranks la yanked en- and pro-
pound his wealeh OF proud prepos ferrous
| lore,
| While the editor and devil lost their parpendic-
ular bevel and rolled in writing torment
on the floor,
He woul go and bore his grocer who coudn t
answer, yes nor mo, sir, for he gave no
time for parley or reply;
once would wtaaeu and extend their
folded white wings and sail away to die.
| Lynn U;,ton.
ONE advantage we have in prairie
country is that it rather shuts off the
picnic. We have what we call picnics
| sort of rudimentary affairs with no
thunderstorm in the afternoon, but
the genuine Eastern picnic with the
young man hanging in the tallest tree
by the coattail while attempting to put
upa swing is unknown. At our picnics
there are, of course, the same facilities
for sitting down and making yourself
at home in the custard pie, but our
trees are SO low that the long, green
worm does not get up sufficient momen-
tum when falling down the back of your
neck to make it interesting. We hardly
think that these advantages in picnics
are given the prominence they merit
in our immigration pamphlets. --Estel-