Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-01-31
MARK TWAIN AS A PRINTER.
BE Delights n Meeting ofthe Fspo'he'"
With Composing-Room Memories

II At q meeting Oh Monday night ol u
Typothetp, au association of New forEe
{ having more or lesa to do with types Mai
d Twain spoke as follows:
Y | am staggered by the compliment
which have been lsVishsd and poured OF
on me By my friend on my right Mr.. Ba
lew. | am as proud OF this compliment
, | am staggered. 1t is uncommon in N
experience. Ii is the first time that an.
BODY in my experience has stood up in tn
presence of a large and respectable essen
!. blage Of gentlemen like this, and contesSe
, that | have tod the truth once. II l coul
return the compliment | would do i
Laughter at Mr.. Bailey expense.
The Chsirnan's historical reminiscence
!, Of Gutenberg have caused me to fall int
=. "reminiscences, for | myself an somethinI
E of an antiquity. Laughter. All thing
change in the proce sion OF years, AM !
NAV be that | am among strangera.
may be that the printer of to day is no
the printer Of thirty five years ago. wa.
no stranger TO him. | knew him well.
built his fire for him in the winter morn
iugs; | brought his water from the village
pump: | swept out his office; | picked W
bis type from under his stand; and, 1t he
was there to see, | put the good type IN hi
case and the brokens ones amongthe hel
matter" and if he wasn't there TO see,
dumped it all with the "pi" on the impos
ing s~tone--for that was the turtive fashion
of the cub, and ! was a cub.
wetted down the paper Saturdays, turn
ed it Sundays-for this was a country
weekly: | rolled, | washed the rollers, |
washed the forms, | folded the papers,
carried them around at dawn Thursday
mornings. | enveloped the papers that
we're for tina native had leo town sub
s~cyigess and $50 county ones; the town
Subscribers pBid in groceIIes.and the conn.
/ try ones in cabbsges and coid ~ood-when
thew paid at ell, which vas merely some
times, aud then we always stated the fact in
the paper and gave them a puff; and if we
forgot il they stopped the paper, Every man
on the town list helped edit the thing that
is. he gave orders as to how it was TO be
edited; dictated its opinions, marked out its
course for it, and every time the boss failed
to connect, he stopped his paper. We were
Just infested with critics, and we tried to
satisfy them all over. We had 4 sub.
scriber who paid cash, and he was more
trouble TO us than all the rest. He bought
us, once q year. body and soul, tor two dol
lars. He used to modify our politics every
which wav, and he made US change our re-
ligion four times in five years. II we ever
tried to reason with him, he would threaten
to stop his papeT,anf, Of course, hat meant
bankruptcy and destruction. That man
uiei 10 write articles a column Rnd Il halt
long loaded long primer, and sign them
"Jnniu,' or "Neritss, or "EoX
Poluli." or some other high
soard ~ rot; and then, alter
II was act up, he would come in and say
he had changed his miEd-which was n
giided iiIure OF speech, because he hadn't
any-aud order i 10 be left out. We
couldn't stand such @ waste as that we
couldn't atfrrd bogus i'll that Office; so
we slw ys took the leads ont, alter the
signature. credited the Article in the rival
paper in the next village, and pvt il in
We'll, We did have one or twO kinds OF
bogus" Whenever there was q . blrbe-
cue, or o circus, or q bap'iatng, we knocked
off for halt L ioy; aud then TO make up
for short matter We would turn over ad,
turn over the whole page ned duplicate
i. TIE Other bogus wac deep phiioso
phicsl stun, which We judged nobody ever
read; so We kept a galley 0! it stand
ing, end kept On Shaping the same
old ba,ches OF it in every nos and then till
il got dangerous. Also, in the early days
Of the telegraph We used 70 economic on
the news. We picked out the items that
we're pointless and barren Of information
and stood them on a galley, and changed
the dates and localities and Used them over
and over again till the public interest in
them wes worn 10 the bone. We marked
the ads, buj we seldom paid any attention
to the marks a~fjerwArd so the life Of I'd
and 9 III ad was equally eternal. | have
sean q I'd notice cfa Sheriff. sale still
booming s~ereEely along two years after the
sale was over, the Sheriff dead, and the
whole circumstance become ancient his
tory. Most Of The yearly aCs were patent
medicine atareO'ypes, and We used
to fence with them. Lille was easy
with NC; If We pied a form we Suspended
till next week, and wo alwayJ suspended
every now and then when the fishing wB5
good, and explained it by the illness fthe
editor, o paltry excuse because that hind
Of & paper WAS Just % well off with q sick
editor as q well one, and better OF with a
dead one than with either Of them. He
wa full Of blessed egotign and placid self
importance, but he didn't know as much as
q 4em quad. He never set any type ex-
cept in the rush Of the last day and then
be would smouch all the poetry, and leave
the rest to Jeff fer the solid lakes. He
wrote With impressive iatuleDco and soar.
ing confidence upon the vastest subjects;
but pulling aims gifts Of wedding cake,
salty ice cream, abnormal water.
melons and sweet potatoes the
size of Your leg was his best
hold He was always q poet-a kind Of
poet OF the Carriers Address breed-and
whenever his intellect sappurated, and he
read the result 10 the printers ard asked
Cor their opinion, they we're very fIaEk and
straightforward Gbon i. They generally
scraped their rGiss on the boxes all the
time hs was reading, aad called it hog
wash" when be got through. All this was
thirty,fve years ago VIXEN u man who
could get zoo ems au hour could put on as
many airs "a IL wanted TO; ard if these
New York men, who recently on q wager
set 1900 an hour solid minion for four
hours on o stretch had appeared in that Of
fee, they would have been received 81 &C.
complishers oil the supremsly impossible,
and drenchsd with hospitable beer till the
brewery was bankrupt
can STE that printing Office Ct pTehis-
toric times YET, with iis hccse-bilIs on the
wElls, its d" boxes clog ed with talIow
because va a. vega s.cod the candle in the
* boz nights It's towel, which was not
sonsideled a5ilsd unit. it could stand alone,
aud other signs aud symbols The: marked
the establishment Of tha: kind in ihe Mig
rissippi Valley. and l can see also the
trampiug "j3uE' who fitted by in The gum.
mcr and tarriei Il dsy,gilh bis wallet stuffed
With one shirt and . haiful Of handbi!ls, Tor
if be ?ou!dut get any type 10 Get he would
10 o temperance lecture. Ills way Of lie
wns simple, his needs rot complies; all he
wanted WIS pla'e ind bed and money
enough to get drunk q, aud lie was saiis
fed. But II r.s- be; as have said ths