Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-02-19
BRIGHT BITS.

IT IS somewhat strange that the Niagara
view hotel burned down for the lack OF wa
,er. There is generally no lack of water at
Niagara. The rum that there was a scarcity
rails repOrt.-DelrO0 Free Press.
"GENTLEMANg exclaimed Mrs. Parvenu,
wei should say he was. Why, last year
ne made S25.OO0 on the turl, and ever 81 much
more at poker. Besides, he is director ID
inning companies and owns every bit Of
the mines nd stocks himselfw-NsU York
HdI aud EBpress.
WE 6nd in recent poem that ''she fell. alas
ana hundreds wept." We don't believe it. If
he fell. which looks reasonable enough, and
mere were hundreds standing around, which
we nave no cause to doubt, Wei wager that
every mothers son OF them laughed. When
hundreds weep 1t isn't because somebody
rdlis.-BinghaBeton Republican.
odd you everehslienge anybodyF" asked a
northern lady OF Kentucky colonel
NO, ma'am," replied the colonel; but 1
nave received great many challenges"
isn't lighting duel dreadful expert
epcep' she asked,
Il don't know. ma'am: never fought one"
-Dcd6e's IrdUeJier'S Nd0astne.
TRAMP-"win you please give me 10 cents,
sir? pm on my way me to die"
gentleman (handing him the money!
ont mind giving you 10 cents for 50 worthy
rIby Of whisky"
Trunp-"I know il does, sir. whsky's
wh"ts KILN me."-- Drake's TrdeeHer's kag-
dsins.
AN AMERICAN SCIENTIST Is trying to dis
over sone means OF making the shells OF
gigs transparent without injury to their
nembraneOus lining. He Is engaged in
cry iaudable undertaking. and 10 is nOped
hat he viii succe d. A man need not then
waste good egs in an ovation to an amateur
Hamlet. lie very seldom does, to be sure;
3ut ne can't always tell.-NOTristosoH Heratd.
\ CERTAIN divine, who had wandered in
the course Of his travels beyond the conven-
'onces OF the railroad was obliged TO take {
horse. Being uhaCeust0med to riding he
aid to his hOsts
II hope you are not so unregenerate in these
arts that you would give me horse who
would throw a good Presby terrain minister?''
Nv all, Dunno" was the reply, 1--WE be-
ieve in spreadin' the Gospel. "-IndeDeaden
IN Scottish town. where were a large Fs-
5tbllshed and a small Free Kirk on opposit.
ldes OF the same street, The beadles of thu
same were once comparing notes. Said the
rec Kirk beadle: "D'ye ken what yon
nuckle, great dng-dong bell o'yours aye
minds me OFF us aye sayin', "Cauld kali het
gain cauld kali het again!"
The other replied; AYE, ave: but do We no
ken what your wee tink- tinklin' BELLS aye
;iaverlnP'
"Na-whatis
Collection! election! election. It'd Bits.
SAY, John, for the sake of old friendship,
give fellow dinner. will yer?" said a seedy
groom of well-known business citizen of
Lynn.
''Certainly, Bill. Here, sambo. take this
mao down to the restaurant and tell the pro-
prte' :. rive nim what he wants, and send
the bill 10 mep
... day the bill came for 55c.
" rlt" -"ld The business man. what did nv
friend buy for lfty-hve cents?"
"Nlne beers anu a cigar, sir. LINN onion.
A MAN from Kentucky consulted one of our
physicians the other day for bad case of in
digestion, and the doctor advised him to try
the hot water cure, handing him at the same
ime glass Of that popular remedy. Taking
~ IN his hand, the patient began to pull on 4
vrv fare and brace himself for the ordeal.
''Is it very nasty? he asked.
80 no. sand the meaico: mot verv, but
some people have tender throats-can't stand
an"'hlng strong. Pll dilute 1t little il YOU
like" '
Inc Kentueklan's vanity was hit hard. He
turned in the stesming liquid without finch.
ing, recovered his breath, and said, with
affected indifference:
Bah! IcOuld take it cold"-San Tran
cisco Wasp.