The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-04-14
PITH AND POINT.

A rousing appeal-"Ilmc to get up.
Contentment is better than money and
Just about as scarce. Chicago Ledger.
A gentleman of colo--A painter.-Pa-
cifc Jester. -
Ladies are called dears, because it
costs so much to keep them Watertoe
Observer.
A pedant is like wly-ironed shirt;
highly polished, but stuck up-Catyor-
MIA Maoerek.
GAIL flesh is grass" If this be true,
the fat woman in the dime museum must
be haystak. ak.-Ecanssiue argus.
Some one says beau on girls arm
is worth two on her hat. That depends
on how tight it is ticd.-01 csty Bas-
card. s'".*:
"We will take what we need, is tho !,
motto of Chicago socialists. That as.
sures a bath at all events. s.-Binghan't
Republican.
s'Waiter, here's a fly in my tea"
s'Thank you, sir, did not notice it. ?"
Laws down check for five cents extra.
.-Boston Post.
A woman who was disguised as man
was found out from the fact that there
were no suspendcr Buttons in her pockets.
Burlington Free Press. -
81 PLAYED Hamlet myself once, re-
marked the TRACE lian. "Were you
called out?" asked his friend. ''Oh, no;
was called n."-Aatchet.
The Turks believe that lightning
stroke will cause leprosy. What would
they think if they were struck by book
agent.-Neu York In 'ependent.
It il said that Glove is blind, and per.
haps this may account for the fact that
two lovers never care for any light in the
front parlor.-Nei0 Ha0en Ners.
If you want to know whether your
grandmother was cross-eyed or where
your great-uncle stood in his arithmetic
class just run for cflice, and you'll know
it all.-1esas Sittings.
There was a young woman OF lshing,
Who went for husband arhshing,
She baited her hook
With pocket-book,
And caught just the man she was wishing.
A sentimental writer says "a baby is q
link which binds its mother to heaven"
Pretty often it is a link which binds her
to the house when she is "almost dying
to 60 out making calls or to do little
opping.-Norristov's Herald.
A California woman, while splitting
wood, bit her tongue in two lengthwlse.
The fact that she now discharges both
barrels at her husband makes him regret
that he ever delegated the kindllng rec
reation to her.-Philadelphia Ca0.
The cable announces that Prince Henry
of Battenbcrg recently got heavy fall
while hunting. A similar mishap once
endangered the brilliancy Of these col.
umns, but it was ever so long ago, and
hunting for jam on the top shelf in tho
pantry was the cause of the calamity
Chicago Ledger.~ .-,>>.
A young man in restaurant LATELY
overheard the following conversation be.
tween two rather rough looking, bus
evidently quick-witted young men who
came in to get lunch: "Hello, Dick,
said the first one, whats your throat
tied up for7" "Quinsy" "Quiucy,
Mass" mo, Quincy, ll."-AarPers
Bazar.
The train had just emerged from .
tunnel and vinegar-faced maiden OF
thirty-fve said to her male companion:
tunnels are such bores.." But young
lady of eighteen, who sat just in 'front.'
adjusted her hat, brushed the fr'zzes
back and said to the young man beside
her: 'I think tunnels are awfully NICE"
-Raila0ay Reporter.
Among the advertisements in Ger
man paper appeared the following: "The
gentleman who found apursc with money
in the Blumenstrasse rs requested to for
ward it to the address of the losey, as no
is recognized" A few days afterward
the reply was inserted: ''The recognized
gentleman who picked up purse IN the
Blumenstrasse requests the loser to call