The Irish standard., 1886-10-09
KATE" DROPS US A LINE.
4 Short Review Of the Life Of "Patrick
Fo-gar-tty,' Whose Mind Ran to
Science and Classics.
PATRICK GOES INTO POLITICS,
And Like Many Another Politician, De-
dies His Church, and Becomes a
Nothingarian in Religion.
THE STUDENT.

THE STUDENT.
Once upon {; time. and not SO long
since. either. there came to this fail
city OF ours a young man of lofty as
pirations, whose cognOmen Was FC-
garty. with Patrick in the front Of it to
make it clearly Irish. The young man s
parents We're Irish and Catholic from
the days OF st. Patrick through a
,engthenet! line. with all it's joys and
sorrows, down 70 his own day. Farm
ers too they were, Of honest stripe. who
lived their term Of life like good Chris
tiars and then quietly died. Proyi~
dence has kindly placed Death at tie
end Of our lives. just as the large rivers
dow near the large cities. and SO in na-
t,,ral course they left Il representative
Fogarty in Patrick, with ali his anbi-
tionS.
I'atrick's great desire was to be g
schoiar-classical and scientlic--so that
after Il fair preparation at home. he
came TO climb the ,arnass!an mount in
the city with all its opportunities.
For years, that IS, TOT some nine
years at least, Patrick was practical
Catho}c SO called, being now Is years
old. and with as passible e show OF
Catholic lore as ordinary mortals have.
Behold him suddenly a junior fresh
nan III the university with all that TIE
term implies Latin and Greek, botany
and geology, algebra and comic sections,
logic and political economy.
Ind still the wonder grew
Itat one small head could carry all he knew =
Would be the most approuriate ques-
lion. but besides these he learned a
great deal more.
Patrick learned to doubt the Old
Church; he begai, to read for the first
line. books in which Catlioicity was
abused and ridiculed by mountebanF
scrihs,lers. The old histories he pernsed
toIti iim all about the ancient 1noneas-
tic Institutions and what vile ders they
were The moderu iy-sheets made
these sanity men Il pack Of base assas-
sins. liars and hynocrites.
When the professors opened their bat
teries, pop guns and all on the Catholic
Church, intermixed with spasmodlc
apologies for the poor old creature,
which were even worse Than the at
;ucks. Here. indeed, was systematic
calunlny with q vengeance! Besides,
Patrick joined the Kappa PM, society,
where the female pantaloonatlcs, got u
chance of ridiculing the little religion
he had now left, and SO they soon made
a clean sweep.
Out"comes Our hero with a new ac-
Gent on his name. and that accent tell
on the secoud syllable SO that it sounded
as un-Irish as the old boy himself,
twas Fo-gar-ty.
Well, there is no use going into half
mourning for half-d dead relatives. Pat.
rick was convinced that the Church Of
nineteen centuries was a fraud, but
now, the deuce and all was to pay !;
what religion was he to prefer The
old farmer who wanted the treasury
notes. when asked what denomination
he wanted. said, ''Well hang me! Give
me part in old school Presby yterian, and
the haft on t, to please the old lady, iii
Free Will Baptist
There was the whole grand Panian-
drum to choose from, over sixty ditfer-
ent kinds and some to spare. He had
now Brains, Brass and Blackguardism,
three BIS very requisite for the push
ing on to fame OF something.
He had learned to use clean words in
expressing filthy thoughts: h" found
out that the ten commandments were
grown musty, and he had discovered
that the Church of his forefathers was
an old fossil Of a Church. So, what was
a young man to do?
a hoary- headed professor, with jolly
old scientific waggery: declared one
day in his moralizing way that he him
self was an agnostic, and Patrick
aAlSW S1lGCh Cllouou w 1ltAt Wv NAi''s
that was; looking it up, he finds 1t
means know-nothingism aud slapping
his thigh with a resounding thwack he
swore that he had got it. Got what?
Got nothing man--the devil! Don't
you see, We can't know the unknoW~
able, nor think the unthlnkable and as
the Wisest man knows not the which
ness Of the what, why, I'm darned, if
I'm not an agnostic.
Patrick's mother wrote TO him now
and then and hoped he minded his
d lties,'' but Patrick now assumed a
dictaturiai tone and declared that he
knew better. His mother shed tears,
but Patrick knew that tears were only
4 a little phosphate Of lime, some me chic