The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1886-09-15
Dir \

They are all head clerks in the BARRIERS
shop.
Nickel plated Watchdog with a new
collar.
Better IN empty head than one with a
cold in it.
An interesting liquor casc-A box of
champagne.
If the fire bell rings u false alarm can ii
TIC called Il libel!
y dentist says that false teeth arc getting
rs numerous as false hearts.
Every pound Of hay which can possibly
bc saved ought to bc cut.
The cats antipathy for mice probably
accounts Tor woman love for cats.
Money doesn't make the man; and itisn't
every man who makes the money either.
The Ohio maj who sold his wife for five
cents positively declines to throw in a
chrome.
Bodies are crcmatcd for three dollars,
which includes an urn, in Paris. In Milan
the cost is only Sl.iO, it is stated.
y fortune in Il name. In Kentucky a
man named breckenridge or Clay can get n
ten cent drink Of whisky for Il nickel.
II a mans religion is prctcntious on Sun.
tIy ;iHd obscure on week days you better
IL business with him on a cash basis.
Every person has two c,lucations-onc
wliCh he receives from others, and one.
more important, which he gives himself.
kiss the baby while You can" MARBLES
q poet. Thanks, we will wait till she is
N'N,''' al" ''SN our cilahccS'
y man who has nothing TO do generally
telephones to busy people to see if they
VIII 20 on an GRAND for him.
Chronic grulnblcrs are like flies in butter;
lh'y 90 not ruin what they mix with, but
lhcy Spn! The symmetry Of the scene.
ITS a very solemn thing tobe married j,
%lu Nnn, bcthany. Yes, but its a great
''c"i more solemn not to he" said her niece.
One way to make picnic sandwiches is
90 put a Slice OF raspberry bic between n
PROSTATE i9g and a pair OF lemon colorcd
trousers. 1t Is not a good way, however.
i Sioux chief is learning To ride the hi.
Cycle, and the final determination of the
A.b"ilSthM race IS now only a question of
'lii".
The most thoughtful man living IS tlc
ono who Immediately stoppc! dying when
reminded tIat his lie insurance policy had
cNp!I"".
An Ohio clergyman the other day made
his congregation smile by saving that Gre.
n'H''Gh ms become II burning question in
''c '!'Ifc''.
Mexican sugar planters offer S2J n head
Tor Chinese laborcrs. Why, at that rate i,
VIZ pay 10 S'"p ~Doycotuhg and go To kid.
morning l"'ln'
II iniidClity succeeds in teaching n man
that nc will die like beast, it will at the
,u'J Siiic succeed III teaching him how TO
''N2 'iNc one
TIC single effort by which we stop short
IN "uv downward path TO pcrdition Is itself
y S'c'tcr cAcitIoh OF virtue than 4 hundred
"c'S OF justice.
why was Washington like n newspaper
man! The NorriStown Ucydd has solved
~ L","uHl'nl Answer Because he
w" . "a ic
one hour lost in the morning will put
Hack the business of the day; an hour
S"ihcu by rising carly, will make one
i'oA'h III 'hc year.
\ wei known gentleman. spcnkino of
another very conscientious citizen. said thot
"hc was so afraid that he would do wrong
ihai he did not dare to do right"
'~'!iastc makes waste" says the proverb.
but the man who buttons his waistcoat
over Il bay window will tell you that haste
had no hand in making his waist.
Bless me-" said he, looking At ,hc clock
IT'S after clever. How the time Ilics!
had no idea it was SO late" Its better
late than never, she said, hiding a yawn.
4 barber reduced thc nr;cc of a ebo,,o
from ten TO eight cents. which octinn w,e
followed by another, who further agreed to
shave a man without talking to him.
The South Americans put up sousoccs IN
bark. Concerning this no comment is ncccs.
snry, only to say that the South Americans
desire TO preserve every phase Of the dog.
Along with other THINGS there onncors ~
he an Epidemic of suicides. In New YORK
on Friday, there were seven, and in nearly
every part of the country We hear of them |
Ti.
The cathedral at StrosbIrg II is ono %,m
dgcd feet long, thirty feet wide md fn',r
teen feet deep, and has been in usn fnr
three hundred years.
PA" asked a little boy. ..whcn n no,i. |
tician goes into office docs he hive to fiotc
-, -. '"'N ''h