Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-09-30
THE BEACH WAGON.
A Vehicle That Is Eminently Respectable With
out Being in the Least Fashionable.

out Being in the Least Fashionable.
The beach wagon is perhaps, the most
important of those compromise carriages
which enable one horse to do with more
or less success the work of pair. It is
eminently respectable without being the
least fashionable and no man was ever
either proud or ashamed to own vehicle
of this kind. 1t has, moreover escaped
degradation, for it does not occur at
Iiverv-stables and though in continual
use at railroad stations, it is as a private
nou a public conveyance. No sight is
more familiar to summer travellers than
that of the beach wagon anchored at a
safe distance from the locomotive, over
flowing with children, and yet reserving
seat for paterfamilias, who will presently
climb to his place, and awaken the faith
full Dobbin from that drowsy state which
this carriage never fails to produce in
him. The fact seems to be that the So
lection of a beach wagon implies a certain
amount of good taste and responsibility.
It's owner may be dull, commonplace, and
narrowminded but it is almost impossible
that he should be vulgar. The chief rea-
son is that this carriage, though solid,
comfortable conveyance, is absolutely
incapable of ornament. All new beach
wagons look alike, and even when the
varnish comes off their appearance Is very
little altered. They areinVarlably paint
ed in sad cOIors, their fore and hind axles
seen days journey apart, and the gen
eral effect is that of a family lOunging
place on wheels. It is plain that In such
a vehicle the most aesthetic or ambitions
person would find little opportunity to
crafty tie love of beauty, much less of
display.
Another characteristic that helps to
save the beach wagon from falling into
the bottomless pit of vulgarity is its ex-
ceeding honesty. 1t never pretends to
be anything else than it really is. 1t does
not shut up like jack knife or assume a
canopy top. Nor can it by any arrange
ment of cranks or levers, be made to
swallow it's back seat, after the manner of
some carryalls. The beach wagon has
a great quality-it is an immense econO-
nicer; fine clothes go for nothing In 1t,
and hence it is detested by many women,
butpaterfamilias knows that he will save
its cost over and over again in the price
of his daughters dresses, Besides when
he goes out for a drive on Saturday after
noon or Sundays in the beach wagon he
can wear his straw hat and an old coat,
whereas If the vehicle was more elegant
one he would feel more compelled to put
on his churchgOing clothes, which, to
person of moderate income and quiet
tastes, is always a source of 1rrIatatlon,
it is, however, from the political point of
view that the beach wagon becomes I'M
portant. It is prominently family
carriage, and for that reason a strong
guarantee of STABILITY is government.
Tt was long ago observed that revolution
cd INV
bachelors and by childless men. The
father of a family who drives out in a
beach wagon, with his wife's parasOl
knocking off his hat at regular intervals,
and the children clamOring for the reins,
digging their elbows into his side or
pinching his arm-this man has no OPP
pOrtunity to brood or treason, stratagem,
and spoiIs. How different his situation
from that of the anarchists, actual or pO-
tentiaI in a narrow trotting wagon, who
either has no wife or children or else
selfishly leaves them at home, and drives
furiously up and down the mile ground,
full of wild thoughts and nihilistic
whisky.
And yet it must be admitted that even
the honest comfortable conservative beach
wagon leaves something much-tO
be desired. Upon the artistic side it is
WOfuly defectlYe. mere Is mourning JOY
Gus or graceful in its construction. It's
merits, great though they be, are those of
the baby carriage and the invalids arms
chair. 1t does not foster that heroic
spirit upon which the glory of nations
and individuals is founded. Nor is it
possible to conceive a race of painters,
poets or orators cradeled in its too easy
seats. It does nothing to develop the
noble animal who draws it. Mere size is
the only requisite of the beach wagon
horse; beauty and speed if he had them
would go for nothing. His lot is apt to
be hard one, and when he is compelled
to haul four heavy men to the station in
haste to catch an early train, the beach
wagon turnout is a hideous sight. Its
true Office is that of travelling nursery,
and when so employed it constitutes one
of the most useful and conservative in
situations of our country.