News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-13
THE LIME.KILN CLUB.
Advice to n Young Man Going into Busi-
ness.-The Silver Question.

81 should like to spoke few words
to Brudder Amazon Green," said the
President as the meeting opened and
the Hall grew quiet.
Brother Green, who is young man
with mellow look and hitch in his
gait, advanced to the platform in hest
tating manner and the President con-
tinued
''Brudder Green, 1 l'arn dat you am
on de pint of gwine inter bizness fur
yerself. am told dat you am soon to
open co'ner grocery an butcher-shop
combined"
eyes, sab" ="
'Tze glad dat you am about to make
a start in life, and l desiah to drop
to you. BTuddcr Green, dc grocer Who
gives fifteen ounces to de pound may
wax fat fur few years an git to be ref
cree at a wrestlin' match but Justice
has her eye on him, and when the old
gal g1ts around to it she'll gin him
dose dat will sot him back for twenty
years"
''De pusson who sells ffty-cent tea
an two shillin' tea from de same chist
may git along powerful smart fur
while but he's only coaxin' bile to
grow on his nose. When de bile comes
he'll pay out more for flaxseed dan he
has made on tea.
SIN sellin' beefsteak study human
natur'. Some men doan' object to a
pound and half of bone to half pound
of meat, but we amt all built arter dat
fashun. Doan' kill hundred dollars
WORT of custom fur de sake of selling fo'
cents wort of bone.
"While it am expedited dat you will
hide de bad taters in de middle of de
measure, doan' misunderstood de public
an water yer 'lasses as well.
eff man axes you fer lamb an you
hasn't got muffin but ole sheep, tell him
So Deceivin' man on mutton makes
him as much your enemy as if you beat
him out o. congressional nominashun.
"De paper which you buy fur two
cents a pound kin be weighed up wild
goods dat sell fur fifteen and nobody
will kick, but doan' imagine dat dis
gives YOU license to roast beans wild
your coffee or keep film up de vinegar
bar'l wild rain-water.
''Bc keerful whom you credit. Da1
am plenty of people in dis world who
like to pay debts, but dar am about de
same number who will jump y fur some
other stoah as soon as de books balance
fo'teen cents agin EN-.
E'Doan' cease gwine to church bekase
you am in business, but next time de
pew w-rentin' comes off take seat a leedle
furder back. Lots of people hev some
how got de idea dat modern blzness
man, doin' bizness arter de modern fas-
hun, has got to do heap O. wrestlin'
wild his conscience in case he adopts any
pertickler brand O. religun.
s'De public will expect you to make
some mistakes in addishun, but be a
leetle keerful about it, Make 'em in
favor of de public about half de
time"
THE SILVER QUESTION.
The Hon. CAESAR Shortlift arose to ask
| for information. He had several times
been asked how the club stood on the
Silver Question, and he hoped the Pres
ident would enlighten him.
"Dis club stands on dat queshun, "
replied the Prefident, "about as fol
| lows:
sDe man who bores hole in silver
half-dollar orter be sentenced to plant
CON on a Virginny hillside.
"If l do job O. whitewashin' an dc
folkses pay me in silver instead of green
backs haint got muffin to say.
sIf de gov'rnment kin make dollar
outer S5 cents wuth of silber, us workin
folks kin make days work outer nine
! hours.
sIf dar am any danger of anybody il
dis kentry gittin' too much silber OF
hand, reckon mos any of us stand ready
to take some of de burden off deli
hands"
THE CODE.
Prof. Burwell Cavendish, late loca
member, made his debut by inquiry il
the club officially upheld the code. i
he was insulted, and he challenged the
insulter, would the club stand by himT
What would you challenge him tc
do2" asked the President.
ITO meet me on de field of honah,
sab"
What fur9"
''To fight, sah."
ooh, / see. Well, Brudder Caven-
dish, my advice to you am to keep of
de field of honah. You'll git your feet
all wet, tar yer coat-tails on de bushes,
and probably be run off by de farmers
brindled dog. When a man sasses me,
an does it to be mean, Ize gwine to lei
drive fur his nose wild my bunch O1
fives. OATS code huff fur anybody, an
you kin hit him on de sidewalk as vel
as to go off to some field of honah. Let
us now adjourn for one week"