The National tribune., 1886-02-25
AN ARMY MULE.
Continued from 1st page.)

lick amss Atkins, you ought to know better
than to lick the hands before the women folks.
It's not decent"
"No no; don't le' me interfere" protested
the stranger when the excitement subsidized.
| While don't believe in countenancin' drinkin'
noway in no shape, I'm the last man in the
world to want to interfere with the customs of
| people in their own houses. hope you'll go
right on and do jest as though / wasn't here. "
Atkins regarded the stranger more kindly,
and shouted to the boy who was taking care of
| his horse to break some branches off the walnut
and stick in the saddle to keep the flies off
| him.
Subsequent acquaintance with the new ar
rival made known to Me that this concession
was due more to business shrewdness than po-
| liteness. He had long before learned that a
| few drinks are an excellent thing in the course
of horse trade-if they are all taken by the
man he is trading with.
with your permission then, sah," said the
Kunnel, with dignifed politeness, as he made
| ready his glass.
Here's t. yo' health, Mr. --?" added the
Maah, elevating his glass, with an inquiring
! look.
"Grimsted -Azariah Grimsted," answered
| the gentleman with the reached hair.
"And yo're from -" pursued the Maiah,
with an nquisitiveness that is quite as charac-
| teristic of the average Southerner as of the
| typical Yankee
The Kunnel took the glass away from his
lips, and set it down abruptly.
Najah Peyton," he said, q" l thought you'd
| known me long enuf, sab, to know that l neveh
want such a question asked guest in my house,
sab. l don't regard it as the civil thing, sah."
| They all looked at the Kunnel in wonder
| ment.
bn f'- not cf,-i1 ~
the Kunnel, whose tongue was thckening up
somewhat, is that it may force from him an
admission that is unpleasant to make, sab. A
man may have to confess that he's from some
where outside of the Blue Grass country, sab.
OF course it's not any man s fault that he was
not born in the Blue Grass; it's his great mis-
fortune, sab, and his feelings should be spared
by avoiding anything that looks like calling
| attention to the fact. Do make myself under
stood, sah?"
"Yo' meaning S s cleah as notice o public
sale, sab" replied the Majah, who knew full
well the times and seasons when it was best to
| accord unquestioningly with his host.
Don't stop on that account" said Mr. Grim
sted, his voice falling into a sort of a whine
I'm from Obio-Pickaway County. AS we
can raise about a hundred bushel O. corn to the
acre on our Scioto bottoms, l don't miss livin'
on yer Blue Grass as much S you might sup
pose"
"Kawn isn't everything" asseverated the
Kunnel, repressing an incipient hiccup by a
sudden accession Of dignity.
No." hazarded the Majah "but when you
can't get rye it makes a very fair article O.
whisky"
"Here comes the water; I'll drink with you,"
said Mr.. Grimsted cordially.
Wait second, and we'll join yo'," said the
Knnnel. reiiling the glasses Atkins, shall I
pour out fo' yo'. too2"
nj fha
jest pass me the bottle an I'll help myself"
Atkins turned his back as he took the bottle,
apparently to observe the operations going on
in some distant field. The Colonel was too,
polite to scrutinize the bottle closely when it
was handed back, but the sense of weight must
have told him that Atkinss glass would have
held no more than a rose leaf floating on the
top. -.
"COme down into Kentucky on business,
sab D." inquired the Kunne1, as he set his glass
down.
Partly business, partly rest" answered Mr..
Grimsted. put in over 200 acres o corn this
season, an it about wore me out. When got
my corn laid by 1 thought I'd take little rest
and run down here. / wanted to pick up
few ideas on stock-raisin', and ] expected, too,
/ might get a span O mules for enuflesSn they'd
cost me in our country to help pay part O. my
expenses. I've been wantin a span o mules
for a long time, though Jane thinks that they'll
kick the head often me the very first thing.
James inclined to be bilious, and then she sees
everything hung with Grape. Then the con-
solstiOns o. religion don't seem to do her a
mite o good. Nothing but a blue pill II bring
her around"
The limitations of My nature deny Me
realization of most of the passions of the flesh.
l am only Mule can never love or be be-
loved, either for Myself alone or for any other
nd nf
unrequited affection are not for Me. Like
wise those of wealth, political ambition, the
flowing bowl or the seductive faro. / am per-
manently outside the arena in which human
emotions struggle with whirlwind violence.
But this very outsidednesS puts Nc in box
seat, as it were, in which see much more of
the show than those actually engaged in it,
This accounts for the extraordinary phiIosophi-
calness of My mental temperament.
| will state, as the result of an extensive and
accurate observation of mankind, that l have
never seen a man so much in love, so full Of
revenge, of ambition or vanity, or even SO
drunk, that the prospect of getting the better
of another in horse trade did not at once be-
come the ruling emotion, and subordinate the
others to it,
This great truth was now illustrated for the
first time TO My receptive young intellect. In
his pleasure at being able to get out Of bed
again Kunnel Oldri had somewhat overesti-
mated has capacity lor straight drinks. lie had
not only taken too many of them, but they
were all too large. This was apparent in the
loudness of his tones aud the exuberance of
his hGspitable greeting. Queer, isn't it? 1t
takes liquor to make cordials, you know and a
little liquor frequently makes men too cordial.
(Another of My little jokes.) But the first
mention Of deal in horseilesh dropt the foam
of Col. Oldri's effervescence 6at, and unvalcd
the shrewd trader.
That's an excellent idcah of youahs, sali-
a splendid ideah, sab. Theh's nothing that's
bettah foh US, sab. than to have good specimens
of ouah breeding taken up Nawth to show the
people theh what we arc doing down heah in
ole Kentucky, sab. 1t gives us appreciation
and encouragement, sab. / hope you'll be able
to get hold Of something really fine, sab. |
wish / could spare you something off my own
place, sah-I really do, sab. I'd give you
bargain, l really would sab.
i supposed you had something to SELL" said
Mr.. Grimsted, carefully rearranging the roach
with his un-burned hand. - l came here with
that idee. They told me at the other place that
you had"
"Of course. they'd send you heah to find fine
stock, sah Even my worst enemies ID do me
that credit, sab" said the Colonel with swell
ing breast. " But it doesn't follow that have
always something to SELL sab. I'd lose my rep
utation very quickly if j sold down too close,
sab. You can see. sab"
"Very true, very true" said Grimsted, curl
ing his brown roach under until il looked like
a roll of leather shayinps "YeS. that's lest