Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-07-02
THE INNOCENT CELEsTIAE
Sam Lee Tries RolIer-skating and Spreads
HIMSELF

Things have been decidedly dull at the
National skating-rink the past few
weeks, and the lovers of the exercise
who have little to do have suffered o
severe attack Of cnnui.
On Wednesday an idea struck one of
them, and after relating it TO the other
regulars, he proceeded to put it into
force.
Sam Lee, the moon-eyed Mongolian
who keeps button-holc mangling en-
porium up town, was selected rs the
instrument to furnish an afternoons
amusement They all agreed that Sam
would look well on skates, and were
unanimously of the opinion that the
skates would look amusing on Sam.
They went around to his establish.
ment yesterday afternoon and persuaded
sam to visit the rink. He watched the
skaters glide around the room, and the
boys smiled as Sans eyes became di-
lated in admiration of the graceful
sport. When one of them asked him
whether he wouldn't like to put on the
skates he replied in his innocent man.
ner:
Me can sklatee alice same Mclean
boy" and when he saw one of the
skaters turn double somersault he
smiled until the corners of his mouth
ran into his ears, and remarked:
Me standee on top side like Mclean
boy"
Then the boys strapped the skates 10
Sans wooden shoes and stood him up,
with instructions to strike out with the
right foot first. ''Alce lghtee. Me
knowee," said Sam, and he struck out
as directed. The left foot hadn't evil
IDENTITY been notified of the time the pro-
cession was to move, and failed to fall
into line. The result was that Sam
opened out like pair of scissors look
ing for job, and then suddenly sat
down on his pig-tail.
Nothing daunted, he tried to regain
his feet, but was unable to do so without
assistance The getter up of the enter
tainmcnt was rolling over on the door
behind the partition convulsed with
laughter, but the rest of the boys kept
straight faces. and as they stood sam up
the second time, one of them told him
TO spread himself this time.
ME spleadcc myself yeree muchee, "
he replied rs ne stoadied himself and
surveyed the floor, evidently looking
for soft spot on which to sit down
next time.
Two of the boys then took hold OF
him, one at each arm, and after giving
him n lot of instruction which he did
not understand, they started off around
the rink with Sam between them. At
ter going twice around they suddenly
let 20, and shot away from him in
opposite directions, For a short dis
lance he maintained his equilibrium,
but his oral countcnance wore a far
away, sad. and tired expression. Sud-
decly both feet left him and shot up in
to the place where his head ought to be.
When his back hit the floor he grunted
and jumped fully five feet into the air,
clawed at nothing, and then suddenly
sat down on the end of his blouse.
He lay there motionless for few
seconds, and then motioncd to one of I
the boys 10 remove the skates. He was
SO delighted with the experience that he
could not find words to express his
thanks TO the boys for their kindness,
and without uttering word he shot
out of the door and up the street, with
his clothes looking like 4 windy wash
day
When the boys called on HIM at his
emporium last evening Sam was rub
bling his bruised joints with liniment,
and when they asked him how he
liked rollcr-skating. he replied:
Me spleadee myself one more tly Mt
lollee-sklatcc and me spleadee myself
in the scmmeytelly."
The boys are now contemplating a
ride on a bicycle for Sam, after which
they propose initiating him into the
of the great American game
of baseball. Shenandoah (PaD Her
aid.