Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-07-26

achlng OosOmi ana The Stiifest OF all coll
lars enclrcle u throat that has many a
bitter PIN to swallow"
Plaaiarists are II species OF purloluers
who illch the fruit that others have gath
cred, and then throw away or dttempt to
destroy the basket.
IL has been truly said that the abilities
OF man must fall short on one side or
other, Ike too scanty blanket when you
are In bed II you pull up on your shout
ders you leave your feet bare; II you
thrust II down upon your feet your shout.
ders are uncovered, The man, we are
told, who has not anything TO boast OF
but his illustrious ancestors Is like a
potato-the only good belonging to him
being under ground,
A man AT dinner In evening dress has
been likened TO a conundrum; you can't
tell whether he is waiter or guest, A
Yankee, describing lean opponent, said
"That man doesn't amount to sum in
arithmetic; add him up, and there's MOTH
Ing TO carry" An American critic, In re-
viewing poem said; "The rhythm
sounds like turnips rolling over barn
floor, while some lines appear to have
been measured with yard.stick, and
others with ten.loot pole /"
An amusing illustration was given by
parent when asked by his boy. "What Is
understood by experimental and natural
philosophy" The answer was "If any.
one wants 20 borrow money, that Is ex.
perimental philosophy. II the other man
knocks him down, that Is natural phIloso-
ply" Curious and Uomlcal illustrations
seem natural 90 many children A little
girl, suffering from mumps, declOred she
felt as u headache had slipped down into
her neck. Mamma" said another
youngster, abiding TO man whose neck
was series OF great rolls Of flesh, fthat
mans got Il double chin on the back OF
HIS neck" A little three-year-old, In ad-
miring her baby brother, is said TO have
exclaimed Giles got II boiled head
like pRpa.n
Talking OF curious SMILES, among the
southern languages OF India Is the Teloo.
gooof Telinga, so rough 10 pronunciation
that traveller OF the nation, speaking Il
before q ruler of Bokhara, admitted that
Its sound resembled "the tossing OF a lot
OF pebbles in SACK A smile for scar
let stockings is tire-hose; laughter Is the
sound you hear when your hat blows off.
and trying TO do business without adver.
tising 1t is said 10 be ''iike winking al
girl In the dark" An unpoetical Yankee
has described ladies' lips as the glowing
gateway OF beans, pork, sauerkraut, and
potatoes. This would provoke Marryats
exclamation Of, "Such q metaphor 1
never met aforen Much more compli
mentary was the old darky's neat reply TO
a beautiful young lady whom he offered
TO lift over the gutter, and who Insisted
she was too heavy, "Lor, missyu said
ne "Ise used 10 lifting barrels of sugar.
Wit from mans mouth Is like mouse
In hole You may watch the hole ali day,
and no mouse come out but by and by,
when no one Is looking for It. out pops
the mouse and streams across the parlor.
Marrying woman for money, says u
Is very much like setting
rat-trsp and batting II with your own
finger.
An american writer says "a man
with one idea puts me In MUD Of an old
goose trying tohatch oJta paving stone"
An EDITORS simile OF mans career IN
summed mp in'the lines; "Mau's a vapor
full OF woes, starts a paper, busts, and
goes.n
We all recollect how the Bath waters
were associated IN Weller's mind with
the "hayor OF warm hat-Irons.u The
humorist who created that character was
often reminded Of a pfnter's parentheses
by the Appearance OF d bow-legged child;
and the elongated pupils Of a cats eyes
before O bright light were likened by him
~ "two potes Of aimiratinn.r