Morning journal and courier., 1886-08-12
PROBAB BLY,.

Miss Braddon is writing tale entitled,
Engaged in Haste. 1t is probably satire
on the messenger boys.-Life.
An exchange says: ''The Galatea may win
the yacht race by some cleverly devised
COUP" A Henn-coup, we suppose.-Lowell
Calendar
China and Japan buy our dried apples
freely. Thus does the American industry
help to swell the population of the Orient
Boston Transcript.
The man who gets hold of news and won't
give it up to a reporter is probably restrain
ed by feelings of professional jealousy. He
is an item miser rhimself.-Merchant Travel
er.
A fashion journal says: "Bows on chairs
have their day" That's so; we must look
for beaux in the hammock on the piazza
during the warm weather.-Portland Adver-
tiser.
While you should luv your naybor as
yourself doan' Civ him to understan' dat
you be kin depended on to lie awake O. nights
to purtect his grape arbor.-Detroit Free
Press
During the services at a prayer meeting in
an Indiana hamlet lightning struck and burn
ed the barn of a farmer in attendance. He
felt sore over the fact and asked the minister
how it was that he should be punished for
serving God.
''Brother Jones" was the reply, 81 can't
exactly make it out myself. You were there,
and I saw you and the Lord saw you, and it
must be that thunderbolt went wrong by
some mistake. Your barn and that of old ST
Jones look SO much alike that the Lord got
mixed and let flicker at the wrong institu-
tion. wall Street News.
The Southern Bivouac has some stories of
the Rev. DR.. R. j. Breckenridge: "When he
was professor of the Theological seminary
at Danvil'e, KY, he had a neighbor, a GER
tain Mr.. Tomkins, whom he held in high
esteem. Mr.. Tomkins was a Methodist, and
he never met DR.. Breckenridge that hu-
morous polemcal passage of arms did not
follow. Once the doctor felt sure that he
had him on the hip. 'Tomkins, that last
load of hay you sold me was short of weight.
Now while l can't, of course expect as much
of Methodist as of Presbyterian, still I
looked for better treatment than that 1.om
you We'll, doctor, replied Mr.. Tonkins,
that sort of thing must happen occasional
ly. You know that we Methodists believe
in such thing as falling f-om stace.'
'Oh, it isn't your doctrine responded d.
Breckenridge, that complain of. 1t isn't
what you claim, but it's the way you have of
living up to your privileges.
Why the Sun Sets on the Queens Domin-
ions.-The Transvaal Beers, or perhaps more
correctly, Doors, never lose any opportunity
of being rlde and offensive to Eng1ishmen
Wneu cnance DrlHgs tnem toSeIner, Du6 IL is
seldom that the Dutchmen '1Ib it in" SO
completely as in the follow ing little Incl
dent told me by an officer of British infan-
tly, who said he was on the spot at the time
of the alteration: "Wnat is the use of a
handful of ldde animals like you," said the
Englishman, pretending to beat a eountiJ
like CURSE Don't you know that the sun never
sets on the Queens domirionsa' "What of
that?" said the Beer. "Why, it simply shows
our enormous power" said the other. '1t
rather shows something very different in my
opinion" quoth the Transvaaler. "And
what may that be, praya" sneered John
Bull. f'Why, that you are nation of such
rascals that God Almighty is sfraid to trust
you in the dark Texas S.ftings.