News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-01-21
A GEORGIA CAMP MEETING.
Brother Cole Says the Primitive Baptists
Turned Him Out Because He Would
Not Wash Brother Qunddlebum's Feet

The house was crammed full, men
folks all settin' on one side, and women
folks on t'other. The arbor was full too,
and part of the people was walkin' about
under the trees, talkin' and and eatin'
ginger cakes and apples, and drinkin'
water-meetin' folks alters wants water.
You could see a string of folks from
the arbor to the spring all day, women
totin' babies in Their arms, and jeTkin'
the two-year-old along by the hand, and
it squawlin' loud enough to skeer the
screech owls. A passel of bad boys was
thar from town to git Their dinner, and
make fun of the crowd. They sot on
the bench afOre us, with them tore down
Owl Hollow boys, and they whispered,
and snickered, and laughed, and chaw
ed and spit terbacker, and whitfield on
the benches, and writ in the hime books,
and never hearn word the preacher
said. Brother Cole riz to the stand,
tall, high cheek boned, lean, lank, hun
CRY lookin' man, and his clothes fit him
about like sheet fits a bush when its
flung over it to dry. He don't take no
text, nor say no scriptur'; he jist relates
teechin' little circumstances that sets
the women folks to shoutin' and the
babies all to yellin' and that's what
makes pap callit distracted" meetin'.
He tuck his red cotton Handkerchief
out of his hat and wiped the sweat off'n
his face, unfastened his shirt collar, and
flung off his coat like he was gwine to
mall and split rails, cleared his throat
and lowed: ''Brethering and sistering,
you ken see by the way old Blaze out
thar is a-pantin' that I've rid long
ways to discourse to you to-day-ar;
and as am belated, l will pitch right
in with out proceedin'. / thank my
stairs my head amt upset with no sort
of book learnin'-ar. l don't have to
go to the dictionary to git my text-ar.
amt none of your high-larnt, stuck
up sort-ar. | amt never been to
the city of Maine nor the state of New
Orleans-ar, and don't waste my time
runnin' after none of your big rich folks
ar. Why, my beloved brethren, eff
Jay Gould hisself was in a mile of here,
Wouldn't git on my critter and go and
see him-ar. If he wanted to see me,
he'd have to come to me-ar. Brother
ing, you may not believe it, but /
wouldn't turn on my heel to see the
president hisself-ar thank my stairs
l amt none of your high-larnt heretics
ar. Brethering, thar amt but one
kind of ticks know anything about
ar, and that is seed ticks-ar, and eff
you don't look out, brethering, you'll
get more of them right here in these
woods-ar, than you ken scratch off in
a week-ar. thank my stairs don't be-
long to no denomination-ar / jined
the Primitive Baptists, but they turned
me out bekase refused to wash Broth
er Quaddlebum's feet-ar; and I'll leave
it to any man in the congregation that
knows Brother Quaddlebum eff I amt
justifable-ar and the man that thinks
l amt am plum willin' to turn the job
over to him-ar." He spit on the floor,
and rubbed his foot over it, and preached
on louder than ever. Old Miss Cass sot
in to shoutin', and that started t'others,
and the louder he preached, the louder
they shouted, and the louder the babies
yelled, and the dogs barked. Tt skeer-
ed the ridin' critters, and some of 'em
got loose, and when meetin' broke for
dinner 1 was cryin' turrible, and didn't
know it tel Saleny lows, ''Betsy, what
ails you2'-Betsy Hamilton IN Atlanta
Constitution.