The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-02-03
DR.. HALMAGE'S' SERMON.
CHOICE OF A HUSBAND.

cases in hand if God did not, and so she
prays: "The Lord grant you that ye may
| find rest, each of you in the house of her hus-
band" Iapplaud the ceibacy Of a multitude
of women who, rather than make unfit selec-
| ton, have made none at all. 1t has not been
a lack of opportunity for marital contract on
| their part but their own culture and refine
| ment and their exalted idea as to what hus-
| band ought to be have caused their declina-
| tion. They have seen so many women marry
! imbeciles or rufians, or incipient sots or life
| time incapables, or magnificent nothings or
| men who before marriage were angelic and
afterward diaboic, that they have been
alarmed and stood back. They saw so many
| boats 20 into the maelstrom that they steered
live alone, though she lived thousand years,
than to be annexed to some Of these musculine
failures with which society is surfeited. The
patron saint of almost every family circle IS
some such unmarried woman, and among all
the families of cousins she moves around, and
her coming in each house is the morning and
her going away is the night.
In my large circle Of kindred, perhaps
twenty families in all, it was an Aunt Phoebe.
Paul gave a letter of introduction to one
whom he calls ''Phobe, our sister," as she
went up from Cenchrea to Rome, commend
ing her for her kindness and Christian service,
and imploring for her all courtesies> I think
Aunt Phoebe was named after her. was
there sickness in any Of the households, she
was there ready to sit up and count out the
drops of medicine. Was there a marriage,
she helped deck the bride for the altar. Was
there new soul incarnated, she was there to
rejoice at the nativity. Was there sore
bereavement, she was there to console. The
children rushed out at her first appearance
crying, "Here comes Aunt Phoebe" and but
for parental interference they would have
pulled her down with their caresscs, for she
was not very strong, and many severe illnesses
had given her enough glimpses OF the next
world to make her heavenly minded.
"De Witt" she said to me one day, "twice
in my life have been so overwhelmed with
the love of God that tainted away and could
hardly be resuscitated Don't tell me there is
no heaven. I have seen it twice." II you
would know how her presence would soothe
an anxiety or lift burden, or cheer a sorrow
or leave a blessing on every room in the house
ask any of the Talmages She has tarried
at her early home, taking care OF an invalid
father, until the blood of life hud somewhat
faded, but she could interest the young folks
with some three or four tender passages in
her own history, so that we all knew that it
was not through lack Of opportunity that she
was not the queen Of one household, instead
of being q benediction on q whole circle of
households. At about seventy years of age she
made her last visit to my house, and when
she sat in my Philadelphia church was more
embarrassed at her presence than by all the
audience, because felt that in religion bad
got no further than the A G, while she had
learned the whole alphabet, and for many
years had finished the Y and D. When she
went out Of this life into the next what a
shout there must have been in heaven from
the front door clear up to the back seat in the
highest gallery. Isaw the other day in the vii
lage cemetery of Somerville, N. j., her resting
place, the tombstone having on it the words
which thirty years ago she told me she Would '0!,
like to have inscribed there, namely, "The
morning cometh" Had she mission in the
world? Certainly. As much as Caroline
Herschel, as much as had Florence Nightin-
gale, the nurse of Crimea, or Grace Darling,
the oarswoman Of the Long Stone lighthouse,
or Margaret Breckenridge at Vicksburg or
Mary Shelton distributing roses and grapes
and cologne in Western hospital, or thousands
of other glorious women like them, who never
took the marriage sacrament. Appreciate
all this, my sister, and it will make you de-
iberate before you rush out of the single
state into another unless you are sure Of
betterment It is easier for man to find
an appropriate wife than for O woman to
find q coed husband. Statistics show that in
Massachusetts, and New York States women
have majority Of hundreds of thousands.
It would seem that woman is a favorite with
the Lord, and that therefore be has made
more of that kind. From the order of the
creation in Paradise it is evident that the
Whatever be the reason for it, the TACT Is
certain that she who selects husband hos q
smaller number Of people to select from
than he who selects wife. If q man err III
his selection he can spend his evenings at the
club and dull his sensibilities by tobacco
smoke, but woman has no club-room tor
refuge, and would find it difficult to habit
uate herself to cigars. If woman makes
bad job of marital selection the Probability
is nothing but funeral can relieve it. Di-
vorce cases in court may interest the pub
lie, but the love-letters Of a married couple
are poor reading except for those who write
them. Pray God that you be delivered from
irrevocable mistake. If you have made such
engagement your first duty is to break it.
Further, do not unite in marriage with
man of bad habits in the idea of reforming
him. If now, under the restraint Of your
present acquaintance, he will not give up hi
cannot expect him to do so. You might as
we'll plant q violet in the face Of q north
east storm with the idea Of appeasing it, You
might as well run a schooner alongside OF q
burning ship with the idea of saving the ship.
The consequence will be schooner and ship
will be destroyed together. The almshouse
could tell the story of hundred women who
five years of age man hos been grappled
by into1ication he is under such headway
that your attempt to stop him would be
very much like running up the track
with wheelbarrow to stop Hudson River
express train. What you call an inebriate
nowadays is not a victim to wine or whisky,
but to logwood and strychnine and
nu1-vomica. All these poisons have kindled
their fires in his tongue and brain, and all
| guish the flames Instead Of marrying 9
man to reform him, let him reform first and
then give him time to see whether the reform
IS to be permanent. Let him understand that
| if he cannot do without his bad habits
for two years he must do without you forever.
Avoid union with one suprenely selfish or
so wound up in his occupation that ne has no
life protest against marriage Some are so
married to their occupation or profession that
the taking Of any other bride is a case Of big
amy There are men SO severely tied to their
literary works as was Chatterton, whose es-
say was not printed because Of the death Of
the lord mayor. Chatterton made out the
following account: ''Lost by the lord mayors
death in this essay, one pound, eleven shll-
lings, sixpcnce. Gained in elegies and essays
five pounds and five shillings." Then he put
what he had gained by the lord mayors death
opposite to what he had lost, and wrote under
it; cam glad he is dead by three pounds,
thirteen shillings. and si1pence" When q
man is as hopelessly literary as that he ought
to be a perpetual celibate. Some Of the might
lest men tlis world ever saw have not pat
ronized matrimony. Cowper, Pope, Newton,
Swift, Locke, Walpole, Gibbon, Hume, Ar
buthnot were single. Some of these mar
-:oSo ,ro,,1d bou halpo1 Tho rioht kipf1 of
a Wife would have cured Cowpers gloom
and nr;,ran To NaIztan more nracticahilitv