davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26
The Gratitude of q Tame Crab.
Teras Sifinqs.

Terds Siftings.
'Alex, did ever tell you about that
tame crab owned in Galveston before
the WARP
mo, you never did that l remember
well, before l owned that crab l
used to think that dogs were intelligent
but that crab laid over them all. One
day was seated on log near the beach
at Galveston, when something gave me
dreadful pinch on the leg, and l saw
a crab as big as a soup plate hurrying
toward the water, headed him off At
first | thought would kill him on the
spot, but on reflection l tied him up in
my handkerchief and took him home,
for | was partial to boiled crab.'
'What sort of crab was it?'
1T was, apparently, an ordinary crab.
When | got him home 1 told Susan
that's my wife's name-to drop him in
to a pot of boiling water and have him
for supper. When the crab heard me
say this he held up his claws, as if beg
ging for life.'
'Oh, pshaw!'
4 thought SO, at least, so l said to
Susan: Let him live. l can do with
out crab tonight. And then you should
have seen the poor creature frisk around
and wag his tail with gratitude-just like
a dog. He was SO grateful that from
that time on he would go out in the
yard every morning and bring me the
morning paper from where the carrier
boy had thrown it..
Look here, Beasley!
Fact, l assure you. / believe l could
have taught that crab to shave me, it
was SO intelligent and willing. When
| went down town of an evening to play
game of billiards, l would take him
along, and he amused the people to see
him play me. One evening forgot to
take Bartholomew along. We used to
call him Bartholomew. l was busy
making run at the billiard table, when
| felt something pull at my pants, and
looking down, saw Bartholomew. As
| afterward learned he had been to
every billiard saloon in Galveston look
ing for me-
didn't say much. l could not help
thinking that Beasly was exaggerating
little, so said:
'Beasly, sooner or later you will tell
downright lies, if you don't put on the
brakes
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26
Bashful Youths.
N. Y. Ledger.


AS general thing young ladies are
much more self-possessed when they first
60 into society than young gentlemen,
and while the girl of sixteen is helped
out by the kindness of older women and
the attention men always pay to the
rosebuds' if they are pretty or pleasing,
the boy of eighteen or nineteen is left
to do the best he can for himself, and
if he is modest, we'll bred and not con-
ceited, he often retires from society af-
ter few brief plunges into it, with feel
ing that he is not wanted there and will
never be fitted for it. Yet, after all,
hollow as society is, in many professions
it is necessary for young man to hold
his own and appear well on social occa.
sions.
1t is also relief to any one whose
feelings are strong and who is apt to
grow melancholy in solitude to have
some where to co. 1 presume many
originally able men who have become
oddities, and grown careless in their
habits and offensive in their manners,
might have been comfortable and well
liked if they had taken little pains to
know few people, and to be sought at
least in some small circles of society.
Long ago Lord Chesterfield said to
his son: your figure is like other peo-
ple's; l hope you will take care to dress
so, too. Why then should you be asham-
ed? Why not go into mixed company
as freely as into your own room?' And
he adds:
Il remember that when, with all the
awkwardness of college about me, was
introduced into good company 1 was
frightened out of my wits If 1 saw
people whisper 1 was sure it was about
me, and thought myself the object of
the censure or ridicule of the whole
company, who Heaven knows, did not
trouble themselves about me. In this
way I suffered martyrdom, and should
certainly have renounced polite society
forever if l had not been absolutely con-
vinced of the necessity of forming my
manners. remember at last gaining
intrepidity enough to 60 up to fine
woman and tell her that l thought it
was WARM day. She answered me
very civilly that she thought SO, too;
upon which the conversation on my part
ceased, until she remarked, good natur-
edly resuming it: Il see your embar-
rassment, and am sure the few words
you said to me cost you good deal;
but do not be discouraged. All you
want is manners, and you do not want
that as much as you think you do
Lord Chesterfield was supposed to
be one of the most elegant men of his
day; and the bashful boy who made an
effort to say, 1T is warm day, madam
became Ambassador to the Hague,
Viceroy to Ireland, Secretary of State,
and member of the cabinet. He had
all the elements OF social success within
him, and yet, no doubt, he might have
gone to the wall but for that determina-
tion to form his manners in good socie
ty. And what was said SO many years
ago to bashful English youth, BASH
full boy of any nation may read with
benefit: DO not be discouraged. All
you want is manner, and you do not
want that as much as you think you do.
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26
A Kansas Tornado.
N. Y. Graphic.

'One July night, continued the tall
man, Il had my wheat all stacked ready
for thrashing, and went to bed feeling
as rich as if owned the country. About
midnight, as near as | can recollect, I
heard clap of thunder, and then the
house began to rock like willow tree.
Then everything was quiet for little
while, and / went to sleep. Early the
next morning my wife got up and look
ed out of the window.
"John, said she, where on earth is
your wheat2'
"What? said l, jumping out of bed,
whats that you say2'
'Where's the wheat?
4 looked out of the window, too, and
stranger, l saw the most remarkable
sight l ever saw. There wasn't a grain
of wheat within a mile of me. There
wasn't remnant of my barn. My
barnyard was gone, the horse, the cows,
and even the pigs were gone. l got
dressed and walked out of doors. The
place was changed, stranger-changed
in a single night. My house was setting
in garden by the side of a creek.
There was new barn in the yard, some
red cows-mine were white; some black
pigs-mine were spotted; and instead
OF wheat there was the alfredest stack
of cornstalks you ever looked at.
thought at first | was dreaming, and
asked my wife to kick me, but l wasn't.
About breakfast time some neighbors
came in and asked where Mr.. Jones
was. never heard of him.
''He used to live here they said.
'f1e lived here last night.
'Then told them of the crash and
the rocking, and they said must have
been struck by tornado. 1 asked
where | was; they said l was in Izurd
county, which was fifty miles south of
where | went to bed. Sure enough,
they were right. The strangest part of
it was, the house wasn't hurt bit. The
roof, even, didn't leak. The neighbors
said 1t was visitation of Providence,
and the place belonged to me. But that
wasn't all. About year after l heard
from some of my old neighbors that
Jones house had been moved right up
to where my old house stood, by the
same blasted wind. We both concluded
to stay where we were, and avoided any
trouble on that account. I've been
away three months, and can't exactly
say where do live now, but 1 expect I
am still at the old stand.''
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

Hit was about midnight. Hit was a
long time before 1 could wake him up,
and when he did he was skeered to come
down. Ireckon he thought we was Ku-
Klux. Soon's he found out twas me
he come down and opened the door a
crack and asst what l wanted. told
him cigar. He handed somethin' out
and hit was so long 1 thought hit was a
broom-handle. I told him 1 wanted a
cigar and sez he: That's cigar, and
cheap at five cents So | lit hit and
rode off. Hit was so doggoned long
hit struck agin the branches overhead
and filled my eyes full of ashes and sich,
scrapin' the bark often the branches and
skeerin' my hoss. l broke off part and
KEEP on smokin', but it was still too
long, so I KEEP breakin' off pieces and
putin 'em in my pocket. When I got
home I was still smokin' and had a
pocket full of cigars. That was the
longest cigar ever seed, and I was two
hours and half gittin' home, too.'
what was it made of, Jim2'
'Why, bear grass and wahoo bark.
Hit was green, too, fer he had made
hit in the mornin' and tux hit in at night
afore hit was half dry
THE GAY AND FESTIVE TEXAS PONY.
One year ago Texas. horse trader
brought lot of the most vicious ponies
to Live Oak and disposed of them to
the neighboring farmers, either by pur-
chase or trade. Jim is always swapping
horses and he was one of the first to be-
come owner of a pony. He had no
trouble in breaking it to the saddle, for
he is number one horseman and
fearless rider, but when he came to break
it to harness he had regular picnic.
He told us of his troubles one day, with
the same impassive countenance and
the change of voice that is part of his
natural being.
I'll swear, boys, them Texas ponies
is like streak of lightning. 'Tother
day hitched mine to the wagon and
went to loading up fodder. l had about
three hundred bundles on when the
pony got skeered like, and off he start
ed on dead run, wagon and all. Hit
was the doggondest race | ever seed.
Hit run right through the woods about
forty mile, guess, and when 1 fotched
up with hit after two days sarch, hit
had wad of grape vines round hit as
big as that there stone over yonder. The
wagon was all bruk up and 1 never did
find but one bundle of fodder, hit was
scattered all over the yurth. Now good
by, l mus be goin'. Come out some
day and see my cat that's big as
yearlin'. cotched hit by the collar
'tother day and hit drug me half way
up big chainyberry tree
HAMILTON lay.
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26
A Perfectly Awfully Lovely Story.

There was once perfectly modern girl,
With perfectly modern ways,
Who saw perfection in everything
That happened to meet her gaze.
Such perfectly lovely things she said,
And perfectly awful, too,
That none would have dared to doubt her word,
So perfectly, perfectly true.
The weather, she said, in summer time,
Was perfectly awfully warm;
The winter was perfect, too, when there came
Some perfectly terrible storm.
She went to perfectly horried school,
In perfectly horrid town;
And the perfectly hateful teachers there
Did things up perfectly brown.
The lessons were perfectly fearfulIy long,
But never perfectly said;
And when she failed, as often she did,
Her face grew perfectly red.
The church she attended was perfectly mag
With perfectly heavenly spire,
And perfect crowds go there to hear
A perfectly charming choir.
The latest style is perfectly sweet,
The last the perfectest out
The books she reads are perfectly good.
(Just here we raise doubt.)
A ride she took was perfectly grand,
On perfectly gorgeous day,
With perfectly nobby friend of hers
Who happened to pass that way.
The perfectly elegant falls she'd seen
When on the way to the lake,
And the graphic description she gave us all
Was simply a modern mistake.
The perfectly splendid foam dashed up
In perfectly killing style,
And the perfectly terrible waves came down
In perfectly lovely pile.
I might go On with this perfect poem,
And write to the end of time;
But fearing to wear your patience out,
Will bring to an end my rhyme.
-Courier Journal.
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26
Young America.
HAMILTON Jay.
Boston Post.

L
Saugus branch of the Eastern Road be-
hind pale, care-worn lady who was
taking little boy from Boston to NAL
den. AS the little boy was of an in
quiring turn of mind and everything
seemed to attract his attention, l could
not help listening to some of his ques-
tions.
'What is that, auntie?' the little boy
commenced, pointing to stack of hay
on the marsh.
'Oh, that's hay, my DEAR answered
the care-worn lady.
'What is hay, auntie?'
'Why, hay is hay, dear
'But what is hay made OFF,
why, hay is made of dirt and water
and air.
'Who makes it?'
God makes it, dear
'Does he make it in the day time or
in the nightl'
'In both, dear
'And Sundays7'
'Yes, all the time
sAin't it wicked to make hay on Sun
day, auntie?'
'Oh, I don't know. I'd keep still,
Willie; that's dear. Auntie is tired
After remaining quiet moment little
Willie broke out:
where do the stars come from, auntie?'
Il don't know; nobody knows
did the moon lay 'em?'
'Yes, I guess SO, replied the wicked
lady.
'Can the moon lay eggs, tooF
Il SUPPOSE so. Don't bother me-
Another short silence when Willie
broke out:
'Benny says oxins is an owl, auntie;
is they?'
'Oh, perhaps so !
Il think whale could lay eggs-don't
you, auntie?
ooh, yes-I guess so,' said the shame
less woman.
did you ever see whale on his nest?
'Oh, I guess So.
'Where?
Il mean no. Willie, you must be
quiet; I'm getting crazy
'What makes you crazy, auntie?'
'Oh, dear! you ask so many questions.
did you ever see little fly eat sugarP
'Yes, dear.
'Where?'
willie, sit down on the seat and be
still or I'll shake you. Now not an
other word /
And the lady pointed her finger sharp
ly at the little boy, as if she were going
to stick it through him. If she had been
a wicked woman she would have sworn.
There are eight million little boys like
Willie in the United States and half as
many in England.
D9-A man falls in love because he
cannot help it; but the oft repeated
process seldom does him any permanent
injury. The shape of nose, the sweep
of an eye or the wave of a curl trips him
up and settles his hash without an in
slant of warning. and there he is, the
bluest kind of captive, until marriage
or some new fascination bre axis the charm
that binds him. He is pretty sure to
love like a burning brush heap while he
is about it, but the trouble is, his flame
it too ardent to be durable. He will
swear to blue-eyed sprite that he loves
her for all eternity, and within three
months he will slide up to some other
houri, in total forgetfulness that he had
ever lost single wink of sleep by ever
being in love before.
b9-'Rachel, my tear, I pring you a
vine engagement ring
But, Isaac, it's bearl, 'und bearls
are onlucky, amt it3'
Don't say word, Rachel. thought
of dot, und so take me an imitation
Won out of stock.
s@~Things one would rather have left
unsaid: He-sWhat pretty fan! I She
Yes; had it given to me when
first came out!' He-'Really! 1t ha.
worn well!'
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

b9-It is common saying that we
owe our parents debt of gratitude for
bringing US into the world. Too fire.
quently children are born to such an
inheritance of suffering and woe that it
is doubtful question whether they owe
any gratitude for the uncertain boon of
existence; but, in any case, an infant
has right to kindly reception, to low
ing thoughts, to dainty stitches, to its
own little inches in the family structure.
If the portion of worldly goods for the
infants inheritance is small, yet there
are three precious jewels that father and
mother should strive to give the little
one-a strong frame, good head and
an earnest hearty welcome.
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

n@ Things one would rather have left
unsaid: He-sWhat pretty FAM She
Yes; had it given to me when I
first came outH' He-'Really! 1t has
worn well!'
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

B@'What are you dressed in black
for, Aunt Sally1' remarked man to an
old negress the other day. 'Have you
lost some dear triend?'
'Yas, sab; my husban'.'
His death must have been very sud-
den, for saw him on the street yester-
day
'He didn't die, sah.'
'You couldn't have lost him then
'Yas l did, sab. Got er divorce.
Lost him jist de same as eff he wuz dead.
Neber thought much OBJ him, but it am
no mo- en- right dat showed er proper
respect to his mem'ry.'
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

B@- @-Apiarists who have tested the
matter claim that it is unwise to destroy
the drones in hive, as the hives with
fewest drones give the least amount of
honey. They doubtless serve some good
purpose in the economy of the hive
placed them there in such numbers.
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

or upwards, the watch is presented free
gratis, the watch is warranted by the
Manufacturers. The Clothing for Men
and Boys is guaranteed cheaper than
similar Goods can be purchased for else
where. Nobody pays an extra cent for
Clothing on account of the Watch.
Prices are the same with the Watch or
without. Everybody who has bought
our Clothing knows its reliability and
general excellence and most people are
posted as to the merits of the Waterbury
Watch. As we shall present this Souve-
mir only for short time, an early call
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

b@-'Rachel, my tear, | pring you a
vine engagement ring
But, Isaac, it's bearl, und bearls
are onlucky, amt it7'
Don't say word, Rachel. I thought
of dot, und so take me an imitation
Won out of stock
The Baltimore County union., 1886-06-26

B@- Don't think that because you are
tired your horses ought to carry you to
and from the field. Horses get tired
as we'll as you do.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1886-05-28

GENERAL JOHN A. LOGAN at the
close of his book draws a picture of
what would be the astonishment of
Abraham Lincoln if he could return to
earth and find that those who sought
to ruin the nation had wrongfully usurp-
ed its rule that free trade, after run
ming muck of panic and disaster from
the birth of the Republic to the out.
break Of the rebellion, with whose fail
ure it should naturally have expired,
was now reanima:ed and standing de-
family threatening all the great indus
tries of our land.n Even if either Of
these two things were true, as they are
not, there is a fact that would be
enough to frighten "Old Abe" as he
was called, out of his boots, and that
would be to know that John A. Logan
is seriously talked of in some sections of
the country as an available candidate
for the Presidency.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1886-05-28
Anarchists and Free speech.

The American people have been for
so long a time accust omed to free speech
and have in general exercised this free-
dom with such wise discretion that 1t
has not until quite recently occurred to
either people or authorities that there
was any real danger from the fullest eX-
ercise of this privilege. Even the in
cendiaTy harangues of Most and his
red mouthed followers were ridiculed as
the utteTances of lot of cranks and
faEatics, who would be the last persons
to put in practice their own extTavagant
doctrines and who would not be able to
induce anybody else to do so.
The bomb-thrOwing episode in Chi
cago, however, opened the eyes of the
American public to the fact that the un
bridled license of press and speech al
lowed these fellows had turned the
heads of lot of their followers. They
had been led to believe that because
Most, Spies, Parsons and Schwab we're
permitted to say in print and speech
what they pleased they would be allow
ed to do what they pleased, even to the
extreme Of murder and plundeT. Their
first attempt to practice the doctrines
that Most and Spies preached proved
disastrous alike to Anarchists and the
representatives of the law. The bomb
throwers were suppressed promptly
enough, but not until several of the pO
licemen had been fatally wounded.
This Anarchist outburst has very nat
Urally set the administrators OF the law
to thinking that there might be Tea-
sonable limit to the indulgence of free
speech. Judge Rogers, in his charge to
the Chicago grand jury, stated distinct
ly that the men who melted others to
-.
speech were responsible for the deeds
committed by their instigation and
could be held answerable in law. In
other words. the men who counseled
murder, riot ana arson in public speech
es can be held responsible for such
crimes equally with those who commit
them. The Judge held further that the
police had a right to suppress these in
cendiary meetings to prevent the COM
mission of crime.
The position Of Judge Rogers would
seem to be good law and certainly it Is
good sense. The Constitution of Penn
sylvania expressly declares that while
every citizen may freely speak, write
and print on any subject, he is also re-
sponsible for the abuse of that liberty.
This is the spirit that pervades all the
State Constitutions, whether the privi-
lege Of free speech and its limitations
are stated in so many words or not.
The man or men who publicly incite
other men to riot, arson and murder are
guilty Of the most fragrant abuse of the
right of free speech and should be called
strictly to account for the abuse. For
tunately. Judge Rogers has led the way
in this matter, and his example should
be followed by all Judges in localities
where the Anarchist element has Sc
cured a fooJhold.-PhjL'd. Times.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1886-05-28

GEORGE H. INES, reputable colored
school teacher who resides in the vicini.
ty OF Harrisburg, announces himself as
a candidate for the nomination of Lieu
tenant-Governor at the approaching
Republican State Convention. In his
address announcing his candidacy he
says he is in receipt of letters from diff
ferent parts of the State asking him to
become a candidate, and that lit is urged
in the name Of loyalty to the cause Of
Republican principles everywhere. If
lines lived in the south and was a Dem
ocrat, as many of the educated coIored
people In that section are, his ambition
to hold Office might be gTatified, but be
will Se as old as one of the numerous
body servants of George Washington
who are occasionally heard Of, before he
will ever see a colored man nominated
for Lieutenant-GO Governor or any other
State office by the Republicans of Penn
sylvania. 1t is very common thing
for the Democrats in the South to elect
colored men OF their party 10 the Iegis-
lature and sometimes to State offices
but the Republicans In the Northern
States seldom if ever recognize them as
being fit for public position. This is es-
pecially true of this State in which the
Republicans owe their majority mainly
to the solid support of the colored peo-
pie. It was reserved for Democratic
Mayor Of Philadelphia TO set the first
example few years ago by appointing
colored men as police officers aIthouob
be had not probably, received twenty
colOred votes in the entire city, With.
out the cOlored vote the Republicans
would often be in the minority in PhiIa-
delphia, but they have never seriOusIv
considered the question Of sending col.
ored men either TO the State Legislature
or to Congress. 1t is no doubt a very
pleasant thing for lines to hug the deIn-
sion that he will be nominated for len
tenant Governor, but he will be a wiser
man after the Convention is over. He
VIII continue, however, to vote the Re-
publican ticket just as if nothing ont of I
the way had happened. When a "man |
and brother" in Republican lingo is |
elected to an important public Office in |
this State. then look out for a flight of
black swans.