Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-12
THE BAD BOY ON MAD DOGS.
THE LITTLE IMP SCARES HIS PA
AND THE GROCERYMAN.
Taking Advantage of the Hydro

Pranks-New Vaccination Scheme.
mad dog! Mad dog!" shouted the
bad boy, as he rushed into the grocery
store, jumped under the counter and
crawled behind the barrel of lump white
sugar. Glide yourself quick or you are
dead man." The groceryman was
cutting slice off cheese for servant
girl with a shawl over her head. His
first idea was to run down cellar, but the
girl slid down there, 50 the groccryman
simply jumped into crockery crate and
laid down aud perspired. He wished
every dog in the world was dead.
Presently he heard crunching behind
the counter, as of lump sugar being
chewed by boy, ond he raised up out
Of the crockery crate slowly, got out of
it and walked on tip-toe behind the coun-
ter, and took the bad boy by the ear and
lead him out by the stove, and emptied
about hatful of sugar out of his pockets.
Then he looked at the boy. The boy
began to froth at the mouth, and snap
with his teeth, and he said:
"Oh, vaccinate me, quick. am bit"
The groceryman gave the boy kick
in the pantaloons, ana said:
"There, you are vaccinated. That is
the first application of Pasteur's treat
ment. If you feel spells coming on
again, I will give you more sole leather
virus in your system. What do you
mean coming in here yelling mad dog,
and soaring my customers down cellar!"
and the groceryman wrapped up the
cheese and called the girl out of the
cellar, and sent her home.
"Oh, only wanted to see if you We're
a coward. But you amt, oh, no. You
only went into the crockery crate head
first Just for fun. Say, do you believe in
vaccinations" and the boy brushed some
straw off the groceryman's coat.
eyes, I do" said the groceryman.
"The science of vaccination is the great
est discovery of this or any age" and he
turned the boy round to give him
another kick.
"Well, so do I" said the boy as he put
the stove between himself and the
groceryman. "The time is coming when
vaccination is going to be used for every
thing. believe the time will come
when criminals will be prevented from
committing crime by vaccination. For
instance, suppose you were a thief, and
everybody knew it. l don't say you are,
said the boy, as the groceryman picked
up a piece of a barrel head Though
your symptoms are favorable. But sup
pose you were thief. Take an honest
man, one everybody knows to be honest,
and vaccinate him, and when it begins to
work, take some of the virus and
vaccnate you. AS soon as it began to
work on you, your power of lift
ing things that did not belong to you
would be gone You would become an
honest man in spite of yourself by vac
cination. I don't say it could be made
to work on you, but it might If my
scheme works, and universal vaccination
is established, there will be no more
crime. Then they will vaccinate bank
cashiers against defalcatiOns, and with
the virus from an honest minister, say, the
cashier can't steal to save him. And that
will be good way to whip Sullivan.
Let him be vaccinated from virus taken
from peaceable Quaker and Sullivan
would become a man of peace, and any
of the boys could go up and swat him in
the mouth, and he would go off and cry,
and say he would tell his mother. The
only thing am afraid of is that they
will get to using vaccination in politics.
ooh, don't 90 on in that way, you
weary me-" said the groceryman, as he
took wash dish of water and a whisk
broom, and began sprinkling the floor,
preparatory to the regular semi annual
sweeping out. "Tell me what the COM
motion was over to your house last night
I heard your father had to be dug out of
the coal pile under the sidewalk. How
did he get there"
"Well, I'll tell you. 1t was all his
fault. You see, we have been excited
about this mad dog scare, and I asked
pa what he would do if he met amad dog.
told him he would get up and dust but
he said he would grab the dog by the
hind legs and beat his brains
out. He said men were towards gener-
ally. He hated to see men get fright
ened and run when any calamity
happened. / thought would
try pa, cause I never heard
of his showing much sand. So l
took our black setter dog and took pas
lather brush and put lather all around
the dogs mouth for foam. Then l took
one of these little rubber bands and put
it around the dogs upper jaw That
made the dog open his mouth and show
his teeth, and chew, so as to get the rub
Der off But the dog wagged his tail all
the time, cause he knew it was only one
my jokes on him, and he wasn't mad.
But he did look savage. When pa came
in from down town at supper time ! was
up stairs with the dog. and | let him 90,
and he went down stairs on gallop to
welcome pa. He thinks everything of
pa. Pa saw him coming and he saw the
foam on his mouth, and pas hair Just
raised right up. The dog was going to
jump up on pa as usual, and have pa
take off the rubber band, but pa yelled,
"Take him off! He's mad Hammer, lock
yourself in the closet and telephone for
the patrol wagon" Well, you'd a didc
to see pa. He jumped right over the dog
and went down the cellar stairs at two
jumps and crowded in the coal bin
under the kindlng wood. | wiped the
lather off the dogs mouth and took the
rubber band off, and me and the dog
went down cellar and hunted pa ont.
When pa saw our dog wagging his tail
and acting so happy, and no froth on his
mouth, he came out, and then he said,
THAT settles it. l drank an egg-nog
down town and it went to my head, and
l thought | sow egg-nog all over the
dogs nose and mouth, and thought he
was mad Poor doggie Nomore egg
nog for your Uncle Ike And then pa
crawled out of the coal bin and gave me
half dollar not to tell anybody he was