The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-10-08


The woman who has a handsome bonnet
always carries her parasol high in the air
Philadelphia Herald.
The fat woman at a dime museum may not
be .all wool" but she is generally "a yard wide
or more.h-Norristown Herald.
~"Are cigars offensive to you, madamf' he
asked. Them five-cent kind is, }" she replied,
with her nose in the air.-New York Sun.
The melancholy days have come
Which make young men look blue;
Saloons display the double sign,
Ice cream and oysters, toe.
Boston Courier.
The latest gem In the line Of coroner's Jury
verdicts comes from Dakota, where q Jury
found that 'she came to her death from a
felonious desire to reach a happy hereafter" !"
Alta California
Clergyman (overtaking young couple of his
congregation on their way to church)-Won't
you and your friend get in and drive with me
to church, Miss Blanche. Miss Blanche Tin
nocentlyl-Oh, no, thank you; we only go
for the walk-Life.
laura" said Mrs Parvenu, on the hotel
piazza. to her daughter-"Laura, 60 and ask
the leader of them orchestras to play that
sympathy from Meddlejohn' over again It's
such an awful favorite of mine and your
fathers, toor'-Boston Traveller
IL eastern journalism wants to keep pace
with the enterprise of the young and vigorous
west, II must dish up its news in this shape:
REV. William Wacks, the evangelist, went
cunning for sinners at Hayfield and bagged
500 converts in four weeks"-Norristown
Herald
Fogg has said the meanest thing any man
ever was capable of saying. When Mrs. +.
left him alone in the house the other evening
she remarked: You won't be lonely, deari"
No." he replied; II shan't miss you at all
The parrot, you know, is here."-Boston
Transcript.
man from Detroit silent sat on third base,
Singing 'Cago. Chicago. Chicago
In vain did he wipe the hot tear from his face
Singing Cago, Chicago, Chicago.
Is 1t weakness OF pitching or muffing" cried
''Or big lot of base hits all the wrong side."
He sang very family and slowly he died:
Chicago, Chicago, Chicago. Life
A canine with a tin can attached to his tail
by a stout cord passed hurriedly down street
rs that dog mads" inquired an anxious pedes-
trian. well" responded another, Il caught
glimpse of his countenance as he passed by
and he didn't look the first bit pleased. -
Pittsburg Dispatch
You will always notice that when there is
nothing about the garden to cut the grass
with but a common break back sickle the
wife always does the work; but when there is
new patent lawn mower around, the man
OF the house is always very willing to accept
the esponsibility.-The Judge.
The following notice is posted on a fence in
Morris county, Texas: IF any mans or
womans cows or oxen gifts in these here oats
his or her tail will be cut of, as the case may
be- am Christian man and pay my taxes,
but d-n man who lets his critters loose,
say New York Tribune
The rude braEaYnan ayaip .Is Ell. 49,,
right trainf' n lady asked of brakeman the
other day. ~Where are you going, ma'am9n
replied the brakeman. "None OF your pusi-
ness sir" retorted the lady. Il shall report
you TO the superintendent for impudence"
And she actually did--New York Tribune
1t is strange how circus will upset a town.
Thirty or forty years ago, people were heard
to remark. on coming out of a circus: "Well,
when you catch me going to place like this
again you'll know it" Every year since the
first show started on the road that same
remark has been made, but those people are
always the very first at the main entrance
when the next one pitches its tents--Peck's
Sun.