Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1886-08-27
CRISP AND CASUAL.
Either put your foot down on his

Either put your foot down on his cigar
before marriage, or make up your mind to
keep quiet about it afterward Omaha
World
A Toronto woman proposes \ spciety for
the prevention of kissing. Hasn't this re-
form business gone far enough3-ARdnta
Constitution.
Lots of women do not know how hand
some they are till they get down To the
beaches, and the summer resort reporters
tackle them.-LeIrIStOlrA JoWRa'
At Pelham the other day outsiders dis
tinguiShed themselves by picking high
bush blackberrieS from the land of resi-
dent and calling ut his house selling them.
Springfield Republican.
Tobacco blindness IL said to he on the
increase; still. we have never found any
friend of ours TO be afflicted with it when
We have incautiously left a choice cigar
exposed in our vest vOcket.-TtJdS Sif'-
iRgS.
Judge-Iiave You anythingt to say before
the court passes sentence upon YOU?
Prisoner-Well. all got to say is,
hope yer honor III consider the extreme
youth of my lawyer, an let me off easy
Puck
Il see by the papers" remarked old
Captions. tina There are philosophers in
Concord: do not understand that. " why
not?" asked his auditor well, always
understood they were at Variance. It'd
bits.
A Young man who had travelled with 4
ow for six years and played u calliope,
was reclaimed ut one of Rev. sam Jones
revival meetings last month. The growing
power of Mr.. Jones cannot he gainsald.-
Chicago Tribune.
While stacking last Saturday Ed Carna-
han placed a pOcketbOoS containing be
tween $50 and $40 under the edge OF the
stack for safe keeping. He forgot it, and
Sunday the stack was struck by lightning
and burned. The money went with the
stack.-ESeiliRe Duk.) Bel.
First Young Lady-And how do you like
Mr.. Brisk? saw him with you moment.
Second Y. Am not impressed. Can
not abide bald-headed men.
First Y. L-Bald-headed? Why, his
head is not bald.
Second Y. L.-Oh, yes, it is-insido.-
Life.
In his greenhouse at Auburn, George
Casey has century plant that Is thirty
feet high. and the stem Is six inches timex
n the base. 1t has thirty-twO towering
branches with over five thousand budSand
bright yellow flowers. This plant was pur-
chased by Mr.. Casey in 1887, and Is about
sixty years old-EhHird ". ~ Adrer-
tiser.
Travelling Briton (tOtOtal stranger OF the
tairer sex l-Win YOU marry me?
T. 5. lindignantly)-No, sir; certainly
not,
T B-Much obliged. Now | can travel
in the same car with you without appre-
hension. Would yOu-er-mlnd putting
il on paper. From the German.
II am in very reduced circumstances.
Won't YOU please help ME Out?' asked
seedy-I6oking individual Of the editor.
Certainly" replied the editor, rs, with
out dropping the shears or removing ths
pencil from the mucilage pot, he graoDeu
the seedy-loOking individual by the seat OF
the pants and lifted him through the uoo''
Harrington Free Press.
s.WbSf in the world can the man yon
marry give you that YOU haven got;
,skej 4 Philadelphia lady of one OF the
,,reat bellies nj Bar HarboT, Boston glri,
- She handled q three-strand necklace oil
raarls n diamond star and dozen Other
exouisite gems. With. 4 courtesy ana al
,rcb smile, the Boston girl, equal to the
occasion. replied: ''0h, only PLAN Solo
ring. - Philadelphia Tunes.
The following are the retail prices VI
wine in Atlanta:
Superior claret, - cents per quart.
Alabama Concord, 30 cents per quart
Sweet Burgundy, 40 cents per quart
Port wine, 40 cents per quart.
Sweet catawba, 40 cents per quart.
SeunDernong, 40 cents per quart.
Delaware. 30 Gems per quart.
Although these prices appear to be very
| lou, there Is some room for prOht' Az
Ianta Is, however, not wine drinkins
city and sales are very SlOw.--tORStf"f'0h
Gustays Hall, who is somewhat known
~ an onera singer, is considerable oil
talker also, and his conversations uSuS'iiS
Leads TO his own deeds, his voice OF soii'e
thing about himself. One day ne re,
marked very pOrtentOusly to man Mn, =,
had been listening to HIM Tor ~ hou' VI
so: -,
! ,sWhy. sir, have some tones IN my
voice that no other baritone possesses II
equal degree and quality"
II believe You have" reJolned tn'
ltalked-to man, and yOu can name tnell
| RIGHT here. They are CAB. - I"H
bridge Gazette.