Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1886-10-16
HUMOR.

drawing a conveyance.
The photographers song: "Wait
till the C LIQUIDS roll by"
MENIAL service all girls take kindly
| to-the hy-meneal SO vice
You can get your phiz at the photog-
rapher's or at the soda counter.
The man who tells his friends ali he
knows usually doesn't have very much
to tell
The world is making progress, I'M
doubleday, but it is stern fact, new.
ertheless, that it pays better to be
freak in dime museum than to be a
poet.
| ONE of those fellows who are always
deprecating woman's work says a
tailor can easily make dress suit. but
a dressmaker can hardly ever make
dress suit.
! Mrs. DUsENDERRY- Now, just look
| at those tlannels! If anything will
shrink more f. ON washing, I'd like to
know what it is? Mr.. Dusenberry-
A boy will. my dear.
ANGELINA-Oh, mamma, Algernon
squeezed my hand so tonight that
almost cried. Mamma-WGat, nv
child, from pain? Angelina No,
mamma, from joy.-TidBu
WHAT is wanted in this country"
said the bride, as she examined the
wedding presents, "is not evil service
reform, but silver service reform. I his
set is plated. "-Boston Courier.
IT fills the heart with gladness to
know that when one goes to the dime
museum to see the living skeleton one
is not to be deceived by any kind of
makeup. The living skeleton never
pads. Courier.
\ VALUED friend, who is often up at
the witching hour of midnight, tells us
that the idea that churchyards vawn
and ghosts walk is all bosh, but lie in
forms us also that a man is very apt to
sprawl full length over hassocks and
to crack his bare toe on the elbow of a
locking chair if he strolls about the
house much n.-SomerUiNe Jour-
nal.
A WESTERN editor, on entering his
office, found large snake on his desk.
1t is not known whether the reptile
was left there by one of the editorial
staff who was on d spree the night be-
fore, or whether it entered the Office
and crawled upon the editors desk in
order that he might give the right di-
mansions of the hero of his next snake
story.-Norristo,o,a Herald.
"GENTLEMEN of the jury, there is
still another extenuating circumstance
in favor of my client He broke open
burglar-proof safe, masterpiece of
German workmanship, valued by ex-
perts at 2, 800 marks, and this client of
nine contented himself with the 10
marks which he found inside and left
the valuable safe to the owner -
Fliegeode Batter.
"GENrLEMEN, he said to the report
ers, as the Sheriff put the knot where
it would do the most good, will you
grant me one last request before I
| die?" The reporters, to a man, said
they would. "Then write me down as
having been simply hanged not
launched into eternity I'm no
dude" This request caused some con-
sternation among the young reporters,
but they all kept their word.-Neu
| York Sun.
BoARDER'S WOES.
We not n boarder's life;
In ID ID knows it's rough;
OF little u & finds his knife,
On steaks like | tough
At first there is a grand Il A
OF meats he f carves,
But 1ou the food is in ID n
| And in the n d strives.
A chickens G never knows;
It's II D finds to smash,
And faith 80 X" a boarder shows
Who takes II U of hash
In X wants second plate,
His hunger to l. A,
His NJ L stomach has to wait,
| To ask he II scarce A.
| lemon A d never smells,
And X Q know is rare:
skeleton he soon LIS
| On his X S of air.
The board he o z quick must pay
| II P would retain;
| Landladies have an l way
| And p Il never deign.
| Alas for those who C home
| In Il hash mill vile;
| We'd rather b tramp and roam
| Than X lot for style.
H. G. Dodge, in Tid-Btts.
|
| have been much selfaccused for not
+ referring all to God as the last end; that
do not eat, drink, sleep, journey, speak
and think for God; that practice was SO