The Portland daily press., 1886-02-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
The Japs sleep on raised eouehes. The most
extraordinary feature of the bed furnishing Is the
makuro or pillow This promises about as much
comfort as the similar article Of torture nsed by
the Feejee Islanders. It looks ike 2 wedge
shaped piece of cord wood, the edge OF the wedge
being protected by little roll of cloth or cotton
on this wedge the Japanese woman rests ner
head hang over on the other side. How she es-
capes strangulation or the disocation OF her YER
tebral apparatus is mystery. But like many
acts of their American sisters this is not done by
the Japanese women because they enjoy it, but
because it saves their hair from "mussing."
Dyspepsia in It's worst forms will yield to the
nse ri Carriers Little Nerve Pills aided by Car
ter,s Little Liver Pills. They not only relieve
present distress but strengthen the stomach and
digestive organs.
One Andalusian said to another: -,
II saw mate must have dropped OIL TO steep
all of sudden last night 1or wnen awdfv inst ts as
left It when signing the cross on lying down..
sFWhy, man. that's nothing. IN tell you ,N whaT
once happened to me. One morning as awoRe
fonnd myself resting with my hands on the ped
and my body stretched out In the an
Il M must have gone to sleep in the act of jump
ing into bed"
Colgan's Tafy Tolu sells like hot cakes. tab
let OF IL CHCHeQ dlttT Will iCilCfC
ton.
A man who sings out chestnut at the second
sentence Of every GOOD a story Soa ssa 20 sf
the smiling hypocrite who will let you go through
all the details Of sidespllttlng narrative ana
then at the end say. with an lmbeclle grin:
Eyes, always did like that story"
Esysipelas and Salt Rheum was driven entirely
away from Mrs. j. c. Anderson, Peshtigo, Wis,
by Burdock Blood Btters No equal as a blood
Purifier
student who had been studying Tor several
wears In the medical department Of University,
endeavored to pass the examination requisite 70
his obtaining bis diploma. One OF the professors
gave him hypotnellcdi case, anu tnNn e'NSN
what would you do in case of that kind if
81 would not do ANYTHING replied the student
/ would Just wait until next day, and see how ne
was coming, on then. he might improve you
know. I'd give him chance
Derangement of the liver. with constipation in
jure the complexion, induces pimples, sallow skin
etc. Remove the cause by using Carriers Little
Liver Pills. One dose.
Curious Compositions.-A Maiden schoolmis
tress thinks that some of her pupils compositions
are funner than anything o. Marx Iwa wa. ~ Ta1
Years. she cites the following: sensible people
wear sensible fashions, and. insensible people IN
sensible fashions" Another hopeful OF hers,
writing on the subject "a Rainy Afternoon"
evolved from an inner consciousness deeper imam
that of Josh Billings, the following sentence; II
rained hard and could not go owdoors, and so
went out in the shed and sod some wood" In
straw on her mantel is a sentence from the pen OF
her youngest and brightest, giving IN answer 10
the request Write in twenty words, definition
of Man." It reads thus: "Man Is an animal
that stands up he is not very big, and mas 10
nrlr for
Ireceived the six bottles of Athlophoros and
took it all, and 1 thought 1t was going to cure me-
My lameness came On again, however, but not so
badly. shall recommend ii to any younger per-
son. Col Chandler Williams, Bingham Me.
sBeggar-Gimme quarter"
Actor-"Hayent got any money"
Actor-"I wear erf myself"
Actor-"N0 cigar"
Beggar-~Ko chewing tobacco neither2''
BeggarI"Then, Heavensi gimme your auto
graph"
Il suffered with rheumatic pains for years, I'M
til advised to use yegetne; that has cured me-"
A severe storm delayed funeral party in Buff
falo church the other cay. The delay finally be,
came so protracted that the undertaken petltioned
the organist in voice that was distinctly heard
by ali, Ito please give us little music to while
away the time,'
SCOTS Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver
OIL with Hypophosphites acts both as
food and medicine 1t not only gives flesh and
strength by virtue of its nutritious properties,
but creates an appetite for food that builds up the
wasted body.
Reform, like charity, must begin at home, Once
ftFaf3 iofQ
pressible into all that we touch and handle, speak
and work; kindling ever new light by incalenla-
BILE contagion, spreading, in geometric ratio, far
and wide, doing good only wherever it spreads,
and not eyil-Carlyle.