Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-12-31
THE WASHINGTON FLY.
A Contest with q Solitary Specimen of tn,
Musca DOmestica.

ceeded in ejecting all the tjies in my
room but one, and sat dim to nv
work with the cheerful knoA ledge that,
even if did lack fresh air, would be
able to cope with that fly. In about
half minute, as was deep in a COM
pick sentence, he took fancy to swoop
down from the ceiling, alig ht on my
manuscript, and see what was doing.
He was about q quarter of an inch
long, had a drab body, two rainbow
wings, six black legs, and nut-brown
head, with two silver stripes down the
middle. 1t occurred to him first that
ink might be palatable, and so he took
light dip from fresh dot placed over.
and then proceeded to dot another
which I had overlooked. Then he pro-
ceeded to polish his eyes and rem ve
the dusty consequences of our late
struggle. To do this he employed his
front legs and hind legs, balancing him
self upon the two middle ones. Having
collected the dust on the calves Of his
legs he spent a few minutes in twisting
and braiding these useful members, by
which variety of massage I supposehe
preserves their activity, and then, be-
ing clean and limbered up, he was
ready for business. Vaulting lightly
into the air he took series Of musical
turns around the room, using my LETT
ear as mile post, and seeing how close
he could come without touching it.
Then he lit on the top of my head and
went through some complicated evolu-
lions with apparent great relish, re-
turning cheerfully every time 1
brushed him away. Then he occupied
his mind few moments balancing on
the butt Of my pen, with evident enjoy
ment of his slow ride across the lines
and the periodical excursion to the ink
stand. When paused for an idea he
would assist the flow of thought by
standing on his head and fourishing his
heels in ribald manner, and on my OBJ
Jecting to that threw several somersets
and tried to give me strabismus by
alighting on the summit of my nose.
Then he thought it would De funny to
climb down the back OF my neck and
dodge out again in the nick of time,
then sail over to the window and ,ex-
change winks with the bailed flies out
side.
After an hour of these pleasant di-
versions I laid my literature aside and
declared war. The fly evidently thought
he could coax me into going out for a
stepladder, for he took refuge on the
ceiling. and expressed his contempt
for my hostile maneuvers by calmly
polishing his goggles and braid
ing his hind legs in a double
twist. I got the broom and a wet
towel, but whenever made bulIs-eye
he would fail to be on hand. Then he
led me a circling chase around the
room, and tried to induce me to smash
s. worth Of glass by frolicking on the
upper sash. Finally he disappeared,
and I settled down to work with en-
thusiasm, but just as I struck an I'M
usually tangled skein of rhetoric he re-
sumed his perch on the end of my pen,
fresher and more insolent than ever.
had heard that tobacco and flies did
not agree, so I lighted the blacklist
| pipe could find, but that fly frolicked
through the fog as though he had at
last found something he could really
enjoy. I then got lump of sugar and
soaked it in hotel whisky, which is
somewhat less deadly than prussic
acid, but which [ shrewdly conceived
would at least weaken that hy's intel
lect and enable me to capture him
alive. I set out the sugar and pre-
tended to be absorbed in my subject.
For half an hour the fly refused to
notice it, but finally his curiosity got
the better of his Judgment and he went
for it. His method Of taking a drink
was to unfurl species Of black hose
with a sucker on the Hnd Of it and in
sert this with great dsF terity between
the crystals. kept perfectly still. He
took one toddy and braided his hind
legs, took another drink and braided
his forelegs, took third drink and
polished his eyes. took fourth drink
and gave himself a rubbing down all
over. J. expected every minute to
see him curl up and die
in great agony, for Z know
what Washington whisky is, but the
more toddies he took the more frisky
he grew. Finally, I thought I would
wait until he got sleepy. and then !
would steal softly up and accomplish
his ruin I waited in vain. Having
filled himself up with the exhilarating
beverage I had prepared, that fly en-
tered upon shameless course of de-
pravity which eclipsed the widest
efforts of his sober moments. He
seemed to view my having set up the
drinks in the light of cordial approval
of all his previous actions, and now
proceeded to whoop things up and show
me what he could really do. He threw
somersets backwards and forwards, he
tied his legs up in hard knots, and
raveled them again with amazing
rapidity, executed pirouet on my pen
and cracked his heels together, climbed
over each particular hair Of my head,
used my eyebrows as door-mat, pre-
tended to think my ear was telephone,
and skated down the bridge Of my nose.
have seen liquor bring out the devil
try of the cowboy and make an Apache
deliriously blood-thirsty and cruel
but never have 1 seen depravity break
SO utterly loose as it did in that intoxi-
Gated Washington fly. The Major came
| in and, after had explained the stu
alton, took hand in the chase, and
then Dick entered and superintendent
Dicks speciality is experimenting when
there is any active labor on hand-and
oftor ona honr the Major succeeded in