Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-31
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN the summer resorts fill up it becomes
more difficult for the bOarders to do so.-YOn-
berS Statesman.
A coLoRED WOMAN was heard this morning
informing a neighUor that last rights storm
frightened her SO that she 'shook like an ash-
pan."-Pdtt66ut0 Chronicle.
LET us not be harsh with the politicians. If
1t wasn't for politics many men who are too
lazy to earn their LIVING with their hands
would be paupers.-1eDdS SJttn0s.
A SAD state of affairs: Laura-No, Janet,
don't think | shall ever marry.
Janet-Why have you come to this determi-
natiOn2
Laura-O, I see it is so difficult to fnd a man
who will love me with all his heart and soul.
Janet--W ell, dear, the base ball season will
be over in OctOber.-Iid- BITS.
WHY HE DIDN'T DE Baggs-I know how
to manage my wife.
Bagley-You do? Then why don't you man
age her?
De Baggs-She won't let me.-PhjlqdelDhia
cal.
"WHo is that thin, cadaverous fellow Just
coming up from the dressing 70 'm?'
"He Is the heavy man of the company"
"Iudeed! And who is that fat man sitting
over yOnder?"
Hes the light comedian. "-NercRdnt Trdr-
eler.
"CAN you tell me the difference between
hen with three legs and a very young baby?"
asked Hieronymus Tuck of Nebucnadnezzar
Snppit.
II don't think 1 can, replied Snippit; "what
is it?"
lone is q little strange and the other is
little stranger. "-PiHs6UrG Chronicle.
CoRONER-You say that the woman sud-
denly left your hack and threw herself over
the bridge railing?
Hackman-Y es, sir; and l put in a whole
hour looking for her before any one came.
Your humanity was eOmmendable, Mr.
johnson, part cularly as she was a total
stranger.
Wen, -ir, was naturally anxious to find
her, as she hadn't paid her fare.-PhiladeI-
| phtd CAL.
BOBBIE and Rube were playing ball together
one mornlng-the former at the latter's house
| when Bobbie, having had an early break
| fast. began to feel the pangs of hunger and
was for a moment peTpleXed as to how he
could communicate this fact to Rube without
breaking his promise to his mother never to
! ask for food at a neighbor's house And then
! he trlumphantlY solved the problem by pro-
| posing, 20. don't let's play ball any more.
! Let's play something where we have to eat :"
| -HdrDeT'S Bdsdr.
WHY VAssAR GIRLS DON'T MARRY
| Motherhood IS beautiful, AMI babe IN the
| house Is wellspring Of joy. But this dwarfs
| the mind. At eacn advent the mothers mind
| goes back to begin anew with the infants
! She loses articulate speech and jabbers glib
| berish, TO begin with It's inarticulate Ian
| guage. What an intellectual tumble for a
! Nassar graduate! young one in the family
gathers TO It's nanities the mind of all the
company, and the visitors go away with a
sense OF sinking to intellectual vacuity. All
this is lovely, and does well enough for the
! present domestic state OF woman: but II is
not for the emanclpated, elevated, intellec-
| tua woman that is to come. She is not to
| serve as a domestic wellspring of joy but as
| an intellectual terror.-O cincinnati Go1naler-
| ctdI.
THE COLLEGE FREsHMAS.-
You couldn't make the least suggestion, talk
about the late secession. or discuss the
ancient Hessan, but he'd ''heard Of that
BEFORE"
! You could not mention anthropOlogy, debate
about theology, or the teaching of geol-
ogy, but IN higher subjects" ne would
soar.
! You couldn't speak of tribolite, mention a
cavern stalagmite, or even a fossil en-
crlnlte, but he'd say You were bore
You couldn't mention mastodon, the ex-
tinct glyptodon, or the lahyrinthodon
but he'd show you to the dour.
| But have mercy on this creature, with his
gaunt and learned feature for he aims
To be teacher, professor or a preach
err.