davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
A Fashionable Malady.
ED. 7. L.

He had been to the city, and went home
brimful of news.
"You member the Smiths?" he asked
his wife. eth Silver creek Smiths, them
as got rich on Their gran'feyther's mon
ey."
Yes, she remembered them.
81 seen 'em. There way up; live in
gran house on street they call 'thav-
anoo.' They ride in double heritage,
and have no end of money"
She said she s'posed as much.
"But, dumb sakes, Mandy you wouldn't
want ter change places with her. [ see
her a minnit, an I didn't hev the heart to
speak t. her."
She said she'd like to know why; stuck
up thing!
mo, she amt, Mandy, not now. She's
bin humbled rite down to the dust. She's
blind as bat"
Blind She guessed not.
But shells. Fust, she didn't know me
me that's rid down hill and played tag
with her when she warn't knee-high to a
turkey. Then, Mandy, tho her eyes were
wide open, she went rite along the streets
all dressed up in fine clo'es, and a Ieetle
mite of dog was leadin' her along. He
was tied to a streeng, and she had hold
of t'other end of the streeng. Now,
Mandy, how'd you like to be herr"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
A JOURNALISTIC SUPERSTITION.
Do Newspaper Men Become White Mules When
They lay down Their Fabers?
New Orleans STATES

An editor out west seriously remarks
that he has good reason to believe that
newspaper men become white mules after
death, because the expression of the
cOuntenance of white mule has often
reminded him of some deceased bro
journalist, especially the Respondent
droop of the lower lip. He also calls at
tention to the fact that editors and white
mules seldom die and are awful hard to
kill.
The more we ponder over the Western
editors words the frmtr are we convinc-
ed that there is something about him
that reminds US of a iackass, but at the
same time we are willing to admit that
the superstitious idea concerning the
transmigration of the editors soul pre-
walls in the west and to great extent in
Texas In that State whenever news
paper man sees white mule he invaria-
bly, points to him and says: 'Look at
that old editor over yonder pulling a
load of cord wood" and it the mule hap
pens to pass near him he touches his hat
respectfully and says: Glow are you Col
Onel," and the aged and solemen animal
always flaps his ears in a friendly man
ner, apparently in recognition of the
salute, There are many Texas journal
1SbS, among Guou Ma Joe Ddn MCOarY, OF
the Houston evening age who are thoro-
ughly convinced that after death an edi-
tor is transformed into an elegant milk
white mule of gigantic stature and digni-
fed bearing. Majoc McGary, who no
doubt has devoted much of his time to in
shutting searching inquiries, says that
after years of patient Investigation he
has never himself seen or met anyone of
his journalistic acquaintance who saw
mule dead. He has also frequen tly
and publicly stated thathe has never
failed, as we'll as he can remember, to
lift his hat in the presence of q white
mule, and every time he did Sd the mules
eyes frightened with pleasant smile,
and the animal offered a very intelligent
and joyful bray and tried hard to speak
to him.
Major McGary may be sincere in his
belief that when he turns up his toes he
will become white mule, and perhaps
is greatly consoled by it. There are
thousands of editors who have perfect
horror of death, for the reason they fear
that in the next world; either in the up-
per or lower end of it, they Will be forced
to continue in the newspaper business
therefore the idea of becoming a white
and undying mule with such light work
as pulling pillow or dray ito perform is
embraced by them with delight.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
THE ORIGINAL DRAFT.
TID-BITS.

Oh, Mary had little lamb, regarding whose
cuticular
The fluff exterior was white and kinked in each
particular,
On each occasion when the lass was seen peram-
buiatiDg
This little quadruped liken ise was there galli-
waiting.
One day it did accompany her to the knowledge
dispensary,
Which to every rule and precedent was reckless
" contrary.
Immediately whereupon the pedagog superior
Exasperated did eject the lamb from the in
terror.
Then Mary, on beholding such performances
arbitrary,
Suffused her eyes with saline drops from glands
called lachrymary
And all the pupils grew thereat unanimously
hilarious
And speculated on the case with wild conjectures
various.
what makes the lamb love Mary so?' the schol
ars asked the teacher,
He paused moment, then he tried to diagnose
the creature.
"Oh, ecus amorem Mary habet omnia temper
UNI. f."
Thanks, teacher dear, :" the scholars cried, and
awe crept darkly DER them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
Billiards.
The sLossoN- sCHAEFER MATCH.

The st. Louis GIobe-Democrat of Sun
day says: 'Chicago people who went
broke on the result OF the Chicago Brown
games expect to get some of their mon
ey back by placing it on Slosson in the
latter's matches with Schaefer. A gen
tleman who came down from Chicago
yesterday said: The people up there
think they have a sure thing in backing
Slosson. They'll bet you all you want
that he can't be beaten at cushion car
roms. Slosson is playing aremarkable
strong game at present, and it would
not surprise me much to see him down
the champion. The two experts have
never played match at cushion carroms
and this being the first meeting at the
game there is no little speculation as to
the result. At present no odds are offer
ed one way or the other, but numerous
bets have already been made at even
money. Should Schaefer come out vic
torious Slosson will have to invent some
other game in which he can hope to be
successful. 1t is a notorious fact that
Slosson has always been capable Of in
venting game when it was required. He
is the student of the pair, while Schaefer
IS the 1m1tator, On more than one oc-
casion, to be sure, Schaefer, otter see
ing his adversary play, has caught on to
the fine points of his game, and beaten
him the next time they came together.
This was noticably the case at the cham
plons game,where Slosson opened Schae-
fer's eyes by nursing across the corner
lines, and again at the balk-line game,
when Slosson originated the kiss nurse,
of which Schaefer soon took advantage.
The st. Louis people need no occasion
to worry. If it ever becomes necessary
for Slosson to originate new game he
will do it, Let Sceaefer show his ability
to do the same thing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
How to Have Good Butter.
Prairie Farmer,

Farmers and dairymen are not entire
ly responsible for all the bad butter to be
found in our markets. Much that would
otherwise have reached the consumer in
fair condition is ruined in the grocers'
hands by being stored in badly ventilated
cellars and other places with decayed veg
etables, kerosene, etc. The lndeScrimi
mating taste of the general public is also
a great hindrance to improvement in the
manufacture of butter. Some few there
are who must have really good butter,
and are willing, if need be, to pay q high
price for it; but il has been rare for an
ordinary farmer to meet with such Gus
toners as these. The general run
of the public do not know
high class from inferior butter, unless
the butter is very bad. The story is well
known of the clever grocer who, when he
got in frkin of butter, used to saw it in
half and label one-haIf twenty cents and
the other twenty-five cents; customers
tasted and looked knowing, and generally
came to the conclusaion that for the
sake of five cents they had better
take the best; and five frkins
went off at twenty-five cents
pound for every one that was sold at
twenty cents. The fact is, there has been
such a quantity of inferior butter forced
on the market that people have got used
to it. The most that can be said is that
some is less bad than others. Few know
the delicate aroma and nutty flavor of the
best sweet cream butter. The great ma
jority of consumers are content if they
get butter devoid of strong taste or smell
hence the opining for butterine, which is
free from bad odor and has no unpleasant
taste or rather very little taste Of any
kind. But the remedy lies largely in the
hands of the butter producer. In the
first place ever effort should be made to
manufacture a good article, and market
it in attractive shape. Secondly, those
who can and do make good butter should
seek market where such products are
appreciated. If the local dealer pays one
price for all butter, regardless of quality
the b uttermaker should transfer his bust
ness 80 some dealer more nearly abreast
with the times. The 'one-price" dealer
will thus only get the inferior article, and
he will soon change his policy. When
the practice of paying for butter accord
ing to quality becomes general brt little
bad butter will be produced.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
RECEIPTS.

We do not think the custom of buying
ready-made pickles advisable as there is
so much risk or unsafe adulteratiOn, and
would suggest to all who have the health
of their families in view to have pickles
prepared at home, under their supervi-
sion. The following receipts will be found
excellent and reasonable.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11

The Sunday-school teacher was i'm
pressing upon her class the importance
Of honoring their parents. Now chill
dren," said she, 'when you are naughty
and cross, your mamma does not want
you to be near her where she can see
your naughty ways. Butwhen you are
are good she loves to have you by her.
Now Tommy, when do 20 think your
mamma loves you best?" 'sWhen I'm
asleep" replied Tommy stoutly," ''She
says So
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11

A little girl was walking on the street
the other day, when she saw bowleged
man with short coat on. sob, ma"
she cried, "there's a man with tunnel
under him!'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
PEPPER NIANGOFS.

Open the pods and remove the seed;
lay in weak salt and water for one hour;
chop some cabbage very fine: to every
quart add one tablespoonful each of salt
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11

Bankers Wife-My husband says you
have recommended change of scene and
climate.
Doctor-Yes; he should 60 south this
winter.
''Won't the climate of Canada do?"
mo, he must go south, not north"
"Oh, dear! I must VI ear my old seal
skin another season."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
Selection of Seed.
Farm, Field and Stockman.

All seed of cereal grains should be sell
ected from the best part of the crop, and
while yet enough remains to insure that
only the very heaviest and of course the
plumpest is retained. After thrOughlv
cleaning in a mill that will sort out all
seeds OF weeds and the smaller grain, the
seed may be still further improved by
throwing it across the barn floor with
scoop, a little at a time. The grain that
flies fartherest will be the heaviest. In
this way you will secure seed that will hold
the crops from deterioration, from year to
year, so far as quality is concerned. Care
full PREPARATION of the soil, careful sowing
and covering, will assist the farmer not
only in holding a high average, but in
increasing the average from year to year,
until the full NAHUM of production is
reached.
If you have not yet saved seed corn do
SO at once. Dependence upon selecting
seed from the crib in the spring gives If
regular and slow termination even when
a favorable autumn and winter has pre-
vented serious damage to the cribbed
corn. This, also, has been previously
stated, and is not necessary now to be re-
peated.
Yet this much may again be said. If
the corn has ripened thoroughly the seed
may be selected after husking, and while
being thrown into the crib, if a careful
person is selected-one having good
eye to seize ears that are large, even,
well ripened and otherwise perfect. These
may be thoroughly dried in narrow crib
Or cribs in a suitable room where it may
become fully dry. Suppose it cost you
even 81 busheI Is it not cheap at that?
Yes, because every grain will grow and
produce strong, healthy plant. 1t is no
more to be expected that seed weakened
in the germ can produce a perfect,
healthy plant, than that weakly, dis
eased dam shall produce lusty, strong,
well-developed, healthy young. That like
produces like is as true with plants as
with animals.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
CUCUMBER PI0KELS.

Make a brine that will bear an egg, and
drop in the cucumbers; cover them with
grape leaves; weight them down and let
them stand ten or more days. Then take
them out, drain well, and soak day or
two in plenty of clear water, frequently
changed. Afterwards put them in a
kettle with grape and cabbage leaves and
lump of alum. Cover with weak vine
gar, and let them stand until they turn
green. Then take cut, drain and put in
to stone jars. For each three gallons of
pickles use one gallon of cider-vinegar
and place into it one ounce each of mace
and CELERY seed; two ounces of ginger;
three ounces each of cloves and stick
cinnamon.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
PICKLED ONIONS.

Peel small white onions, and lay In salt
and water for nine days. Then scald in
boiling water. Drain and put in jars.
Cover with spiced vinegar, adding tea
spoonful of olive oil. Stop up and keep
cool
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
OLD VIRGINIA PICKLE.

Put all the articles desired for the pickle
in jar-tiny cucumbers, onions, cauli-
flowers cut in pieces, ears of young corn
about an inch or two long, etc. Cover
with boiling salt and water, allowing
them to remain in it for forty-eight
hours. Then take out of the water, place
in thick cloth and expose to the sun to
dry, turning them over occasionally.
When thoroughly dry place them in a
jar, covered with cold vinegar, to which
has been added small quantity of tu
meric, to color them; let them stand in
this for two weeks to drain out the water
and plump them: then pour off this vine
gar and add that made by the following
receipt In three months they will be fit
for use.
Stuffed green peppers are prepared in
this way: Take large green peppers,
wash them and cut two thirds around the
stem, SO that it remains attached to the
pepper, and remove all the seeds. Make
a stuffing of two quarts of finely chopped
cabbage, half cupful of grated horse
radish, three tablespoonfUls of celery
seed, one cupful of mustard seed and two
tablespoonful of salt. Fill the peppers
with the mixture, putting into each pep
per one tiny cucumber and one small
onion; replace the stem and fasten it with
string. Then put the peppers in a
large unglazed jar, cover them with cold
vinegar and place muslin bag with a
thin layer of mustard seed over the top;
cover the Jar and keep in a cool, dry
place.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11

Ruth was not designing woman, and
yet she managed to get as good boaz as
any of the other girls who both sewed and
reaped.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11
RIPE TOMATO PICKLE.

Prick the ripe tomato skins; layer of
tomatoes cover with chopped onions, and
sprinkle with salt; let stand a week; drain
off the salt water; put the tomatoes in a
jar, and cover with strong vinegar. Boil
a pint of vinegar with red pepper, horse
radish, spices and mustard; add to The
pickles.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11


mustard seed and spice; mix and stuff the
pepper; pack in a stone jar, and fill with
strong vinegar.
TOMATO CATCHUP.
Wash and cut up one gallon of to-
matoes, boil twenty minutes, take of salt
and black pepper, four tablespoonfuls
each three of mustard, one of cayenne
pepper, and a half teaspoonful each of
cloves and all spice strain the tomatoes,
add the spices, and simmer for three
hours bottle and seal, keep in a cool
place-Tomato Catchup, which has al
ways given satisfaction: Take half a
bushel Of tomatoes, wash them and cut
them in pieces; put them in a preserving
kettle with one quart of water and boil
until soft; then pass through q sieve and
add half pint of vinegar, one tumbler
full of salt, four red peppers, one ounce
of whole cloves. an ounce of whole
black pepper and two ounces of allspice.
The spices should be put in muslin bags,
securely tied. Put the whole on the fire
and reduce one-half. When cold, bottle
the catchup and cover the corks with
melted beeswax. The bags of spices
must, of course, be removed before bot
thing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-11-11

Use grapes just turning, steam and
slightly cook the grapes strain the grapes
carefully and add pint of sugar TO a
pint of grape juice.
APPLE JELLY.
One pound of apples three pints of
water, one pound of loaf sugar to each
pint of juice. Choose apples with red
skins, wipe and cut into quarters, do
not peel them. To each pound of fruit
put three pints of cold water, bring to
boil, then boil rapidly for thirty minutes.
Strain, and to every pint of juice allow
one pound of loaf sugar, return to the
pan and again boil rapidly for thirty
minutes. Put the jelly Immediately in
to tumblers; it will keep good for years
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

At the race last Monday, between
Mr.. Heman Smiths dun mare and
Mr.. Geo. Pierce's bay horse, the
latter won the race and scooped in
$3.50. Considering the fact that
Pierce's horse was SO badly foun-
dered three weeks ago that ne could
scarcely be got out of the stable, it
was quite nervy in him to back his
horse with his money. Several
who were so anxious to bet against
him can thank their stars that the
Colfax boys were scared off from
putting up their money on "Cap"
owing to their knowledge of his
condition few days before. Our
reporter says that they could not
have been very anxious to bet, or
some of them would have taken
the offer of two and three to one
that the gray could beat anything
on the ground except the horses
alresly run. 1t is estimated that
the spectators numbered three hun
dred, about one-third of them being
white, the balance of the crowd be-
ing made up of colored people, who
took lively and noisy interest in
the race.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

Israel Smith, teacher of the col
ored school near the Bynum place,
has shown us some map pictures
drawn by his pupils John Gains
George jackson and Leono Clark,
that are quite creditable to them.
selves and their teacher. Israel
has about hundred scholars, and
employs three or four Of his bes,
pupils to assist him.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18
These are Solid Facts.

The best blood purifier and sys-
tenn regulator ever placed within
the reach of suffering humanity,
truly is Electric Bitters. Inactivi-
ty of the liver, Biliousness, Jaun-
dice, Constipation, Weak Kidneys,
or any disease of the urinary or
gans, or whoever requires an appe-
tier, tonic or mild stimulant, will
always find Electric Bitters the
best and only certain cure known.
They act surely and quickly,
every bottle guaranteed to give en-
tire satisfaction or money refunded
Sold at SOC a bottle by Nash &
Williams, Colfax, La.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

CROWvILLE, sept. IL, looo.
Astronomer Of Collar Chronicle:
The earthquake struck Crowville
at l am. this morning and shook
from its foundation one of the
most magnificent 9-pound comets
that ever appeared to the stars in
the ''milky-way." Another boy.
making eight in all, with two girls
to do the culinary and millinery
work for said eight soldiers.
Cleveland can rest ON his honors,
but Americas honor shall be vim
dicated under Col. Trump and his
regiment. Mexico is ours as soon
as / can get funds from Blaine.
Your friend, T. M. WELLS.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

We frequently hear people who
ought to know better talk about
rparish green" There is no such
thing. If you don't want to be
laughed at for your ignorance al
ways say Paris green. 1t gets its
name from the city of Paris. just
as London purple gets its name
from another city.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

Hurrah for the good time CON-
ing! We like to see and hear of
people wfo have faith in the pros
perity of the country. Mr.. B.
Turner, of Pineville, is that sort
of man. He has just received a
large invoice of fall and winter
goods from headquarters, and writes
us word that his stock is more ex-
tensive than ever before, but he
expects to save himself by push
ing goods off at surprisingly low
figures.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18
Eczennai

Eczema is one Of the ugliest and
most troublesome OF all blood diseases.
It proceeds from humors in the blood
which are sometimes very difficult ia
eradicate. For five weary years MIR.
j. d. Rodfer, of Greendale, Va, suf.
fered terribly from this disease. He
writes, Grinding no relief in the many
medicines till used Browns Iron Bit
tiers, / recommend it to every one in
my neighborhood for any disOrder Of
the blood and as a general tonic.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

We neglected to make mention
last week Of the return of Mr.. A.
F. Simonin from Lake Charles.
He has decided not to locate at
that point, but has secured the po-
sition of prescription clerk at Gel
gers drug store in Alexandria.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18
Lost or Stolen.

Six bay Horses branded on shoulder ~.
Also a bay Mare branded with L mp side
down. thus II. A liberal reward will be
paid for each Of said mares if delivered to
me seven miles below colfax, Grant parish,
La. Also . liberal reward will be paid
for the thief who has them in possession
or run them off. A G. LEWIS.
Paramount, La, August 20, 1886.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18
FOR SALE.

fcA ACRES OF LAND, situated in
lou Grant Parish, lying on Red River
aud Bayou Nsntachie. Good barn, two
cabins, ~ acres fine bermuda pasture, 40
acres good river bott0m in cultivation. all
under good FENCE Plenty of fine timber,
viii take $500, one-third cash, balance on
easy terms. Address. N. A. DUNN,
C0tile. La.
or A. THORPE,
s16H Colfax, La.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

A magnificent stock farm, for
any man who wants to go into the
business on small scale, is offer
ed for sale by DR.. M. A. Dunn,
who is selling out on account Of
removal. Extra easy terms. See
his advertisement.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1886-09-18

Once upon a midnight dreary,
I was tossing weak and weary,
For had fit of ague,
And my bones were very sore.
Suddenly / read label,
OF a medicine on my table,
But to reach't scarce was able;
i was SO Internal sorel
Took / just one dose, twas BILE HEANs;
S0undly slept and did snOre.
Had the ague nevermOreI
Is cents per bottle. Sold by all druggists.