The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1886-06-10
THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE.
Bill Nye Bowalls the Woes of His Sex.

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Bill Nye Bowails the Woes of His Sex.
Marriage is to o man, at once the hap
piest and saddest event of his life. He
quits all the companions and associa'
tions of his youth, and becomes the chief
attraction of new home. Every former
tie is loosened, the spring of every hope
and action is to be changed, and yet he
fees with JOY to the untrodden paths
before him. Then woe to the woman who
can blight such joyful anticipations, and
wreck the bright hopes of the trusting,
faithful, fragrant masculine blossom, and
bang his head up against the sink, and
throw him under the cooking range, aud
kick him into o three. cornered mass and
then sit down on him.
Little do women realize that all man
needs under the broad cerulean dome of
heaven is love-and board and clothes.
Love is his life. If some woman or other
don't love him, and love him like hired
man, he pines away and eventually
climbs the golden stair. Man is born
with strong yearnings for the unyearna-
BILE, and he does not care so much for
wealth as he does for some one who will
love him under all circumstances and in
all conditions.
Ifwomen would spend their evenings
OF home with their husbands, they would
see marked change in the brightness Of
their homes. Too many sad-eyed men
are wearing away their lives at home
alone. Would that I had pen fire to
write in letters Of living light the igno'
miny and contumely and-some more
things like that, the names of which have
escaped my memory-that are o.day be-
ing visited upon my SEX.
Remember that your husband has the
most delicate sensibilities, and keenly
feels your GOODNESS and neglect. The
former may be remedied by toasting the
feet over brisk fire before going to bed,
but the latter can only be remedied by q
total reform on your part. Think what
you promised his parents when you sued
for his hand. Think how his friends, and
several girls to whom he had at different
times been engaged, came to you with
tears in their eyes and besought you not
to be unkind to him. Do these things
ever occur to you as you throw him over
the card table and mop the floor with his
remains? Do you ever feel the twinges
of remorse after you have put an octago-
nal head on him for not wiping the dish
es drier? Think what luxurious home
you took him from, and how his mother
used to polish his boots and take care OF
him, and then consider what drudgery
you subject him to now. Think what
pain it must cause him when you growl
and swear at him. Perhaps when you
went away to your work you did not
leave him wood and coal and water does
he ever murmur or repine at your neg.
lect?
All, if wives knew the wealth of warm
and true affection locked up in the
bosoms of their husbands, and would
draw it out, instead of allowing the hired
girl to get all the benefit, what change
there would be in this world of ours
But never do until the companion o.
their joys and sorrows has winged his way
to the evergreen shore and takes charge
of the heavenly orchestra, and then fol
about two weeks you will see violently
red proboscis glimmering and sparkling
under costly black veil, after which the
good qualities of the deceased will be
preserved in alcohol, to be thrown up tc
No. 2 in tie bright days to come.
Then, in conclusion, wives in Israe
and other railroad towns, love your hus
bands while it is yet day. Give him youl
confidence. Ifyour active corn manifest;
wish to leave the reservation go to your
husband with it, Lean on him. He
will be solid muldon. He will get az
old wood rasp and make that corn look
sick. he is only waiting for your conf
dence and your trust. Tell him your
business affairs and he will help you out
He will no doubt, offer to 60 without
help in the house in order to cconomize
and he will think of numberless other
little ways to save money. DO as we
have told you and you will never regret
it. Your lives will then be one great
combination of rare and beautiful dis
solving views. You will journey down
the pathway of your earthly existence
with the easy poetical glide of the fat
man who steps on the treacherous orange
peel. Your last days will be surrounded
with halo of love, and as your eyes get
dim with age and one by one your teeth
drop out, you can say with pride that
you have never, never gone back on your
solid pard.