Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1886-01-20


Like angels ever come,
When fold my arms and ponder
On the old, old home.
A MINERS EULOGY.
Preacher Who Did Not Lay 1t on Thick !
Enough.
l didn't know nothing about any
accident until q miner named Big Pete
comes into my drift and calls out to
me: i
Hi, there! But Uncle George has
been killed by lump! We must take
the body to the shaft and 60 up with
it!''
Sure enough the old man was dead.
Something like a ton of coal had
broke ont of the roof and fallen upon
him. Death wasn't a rare thing with
US down there, but the sudden taking
off of Uncle George brought sadness to
our hearts. We knew him for a big
souled, good-natured man. and we
knew his wife as a woman who ever
spoke kindly of all, and was ever ready
at the bedside of the sick or dying. 1t
was blow to crush her heart.
Well, we got the body above ground
and sent it home and by and bye, when
the funeral began to be talked up, lot
Of us young fellows determined that
Uncle should be laid away like white
man ard a Christian. Our ordinary
funerals meant nothing more than
pray er and a hymn and q quick trip
to the graveyard.
We sent into Scranton and got
divine. They called him a divine, but
he WAS nothing but preacher. He
seemed dapper and trifling to US and 80
Big Pete thought best TO take him aside
and say:
Nov. parson, no tomfoolcry in this
business. You know! Uncle George
was good man and you want to lay it
on thick. We want some singing. then
a eulogy or something about that size;
then s'more singing; then we'll all take
look at the kind old face; then we'll
carry the coffin out and start for the
graveyard. When we git there we want
s'more singing, a little praying, and
we'll lower him away IN good shape
aud kiver him in. Mind, now-no
monkey work on us!''
The divine looked a little pale
around the gills, but he seemed to fall
in with the idea, and was on hand at
the appointed hour. 1t was a half
holiday with our shift and we were
there to man. The general bossing
of the funeral was left to Big Peter,
and things went like clockwOrk. He
soothed the wilder, arranged the
mourners, packed the audience and
had the coffiu shored up in the safest
manner. never saw an opening
performance pass off more smoothly.
At the proper time the divine took
hold. Peter had forgot to coach him
about the hymns, and he gave out
one about q beautiful other shore or
something. He started to sing; but
he was all alone in it. We'd never
heard tune or words. He wobbled
along to the end Of the first verse and
then his steam gin out. Peter, he
steps to the front and says:
':Boys, we'll have to hook on The
Miners Sad Fate,' and pull her
through. Now, then, all sing:
Aud was " orking so busy-heigh no!
When this fire damp accumulated,
And there was au explosion,
And the poor miner was out
Rageously killed-heigh ho!'
There were seven or eight other
verses, and we hadn' got half through
before the widder looked up and give
us q nod which showed that her heart
was with us.
Well, the eu)ogy was to come on
next, but the divine seemed sort O.
ratified. He began talking about the
King of Terrors, uncertainty of life,
and the value of being prepared before
hand, when Big Pete went over and
stopped him and whispered in his ear.
The divine seemed to object, and he
went on about how Adam sinned and
the harps of heaven and the angels
coming down to carry babies off from
this sinful world. BY and by Peter
stops him, pushes him into chair and
! says:
"Boys, Uncle George is lynn right
here in this ere $40 coffin. He never
wronged man, woman or child. The
Lord has took him and if he ism t play
IN harp in heaven at this very mint,
then l kin lick any men who disputes
it.
"Here is the widder," he went on;
with heart as big rs dinner pail.
and nobody kin say q word agin her.
She can't 20 to heaven and play on a
harp till the Lord directs. Meanwhile
she got to live and wear out clothes.
I'm with her for IS down.
| "So'm ~
| $50 M IT,
| And the words went around and the
money came in till the purse run up
nigh 500. Then we sang The Wild
der's Dream" gazed for the last time
on the face of Uncle George and got
him in a wagon outside in good shape.
When we started for the grave
yard the divine skipped to the depot,
seemin' to be all Aa,tened out, but it
was no loss to us.
At the grave We jined in singin'
"The Fathers Underground" and al
the coffin was lowered away Big Pete
sprinkles some earth upon it and says;
''The airth gin him to us and the
airth takes her own. Ashes to ashes
an dust to dust aad if ketch any
body slurring his memory there II be
an explosion ON the fourth level which
will bust heads and break ribs!''
And that's the way We took that joh
out of the hands of = regular built di.
vine and planted Uncle George in ship.
shape and proper manner. We wasn't
goin' to have any highfalutin' fam
doodle business over him. He wouldn't
have laid quiet in his grave.
Flehermen's Superstitions.
Swedish anglers say that If q woman
strides across the rod no trout will be
caught that day. The fishermen al