The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1886-08-19

Little girl, looking at a picture Of
Eve" Ma, did Eve live at the seaside p
"Why, no, Bessie; what makes you
think so p "She always has bathing
suit on"-Plc
Mamie Van Astorbilt-Oh, Mr.. De
Fly, see that Van Islip girl with Baron
Won Glesenbach! Did you ever meet the
Baron in New York? Mr.. De Fly Qa-
conicalIy)-No; shave mysef.-Puck.
Reporter Cooking for tems)-Any-
thing new or fresh this morning in the
railroad line?
Railroad official (houghtfully)-H'm!
Let me see; yes, that paint you are lean
ing against is new and fresh. 1t was only
put on this morning.-Neso York Sun.
Bobby came into the house sobbing
and told his mother that Tommy White
had kicked him. "Well, Tommy White
is very bad boy" said Bobby's mother,
giving him large piece of cake. You
didn't kick him back, did you?" NO."
replied Bobby, between bites. 81 kicked
him first. PUCK.
-" Well, Mumblcpeg, near we're 60
ing to have war with Mexico" "Pm
glad to hear it, sir. We can't stand an
insult from that parody of nation. The
whole country will spring to arms"
"You will 60, of course p "Certainly l
will. Within ten days will be on the
Rio Grande with suffers wagon
Philadelphia Call.
$50, Uncle Jack, you don't much be-
lieve in the idea that men are called to
preach" "Well, sab, de Lawd mout
call some niggers ter preach, but it sorter
pears ter me dat whar de Lawd calls one
ole man Laziness calls er dozen. Nine
nigger preachers outen ten is de lazies'
pussons in de worl'." GLOW do you
know, Uncle Jack? P" "'Cause rs er
preacher merse'f, sab. Teras Siftings.
-" Hello, Charlie What's up {?
Never saw you looking 80 jolly and
happy"
SCOT married! Why, man, is that
anything to be gay and festive overp
You ought to be in the last stages Of mel
ancholy."
"That's all right. You see I'm the fel-
low she married. I'll take little syrup
in mine"
-" Gentlemen" he said to the reporter,
as the sheriff put the knot where it would
do the most good, "will you grant me
one Last request before die ?"
The reporters, to man, said they
would.
"Then write me down as having been
simply hanged and not launched into
eternity Pm no dude"
This request caused some CONSERVATION
among the younger reporters, but they all
kept their word.
A school ma ann at the Chase House
has the following juvenile composition
among her schoolhouse manuscript: "A
Goldfish is the only Annymal that amt
| got no neck. There amt but one kind of
fish in the World that lives on the land
and Flys round in the air, and that is q
ishhawk. A Goldfish has q large mouth,
and my sunday school Teechers got q
large mouth too. Two kids got fiteing in
the vestry one day and one Of EN- pulled
quite lot of Hare out of the other kids
He'd and the experimenting pounded one
of his Ears with book and so they quit.
A fish would look funny if they had legs
and could run."-Squirrel Island (Me.)
Squid.
One day about two weeks ago." said
Mr.. John T. Sullivan, 81 was on ferry
boat crossing over from Detroit. We
had just cast off the ropes when an Irish
man rushed through the gate, threw down
his money, and waved his hat.
How'd on howld on !" he shouted.
"Jump! jump? we shouted.
"The boat was barely three feet from
the dock, and he could have stepped
across the chasm. He stepped back,
took run, and made an awkward leap.
He made it, but he landed on banana
peel which lay on the deck, and before he
stopped rolling he was in the forward
part of the boat. When he got up and
brushed off his clothes the boat was fifty
feet from the shore. Looking at the
stretch of water he slapped his thigh and
exclaimed proudly:
| that Ian pm