davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02
Testimony of a Physician

James Beecher, NJ. D., of Sigourney, Iowa,
says: For several years have been using
Cough Balsam, called DR.. HALLS BALsAM
FOR THE LUNGS, and In almost every case
throughout my practice have had success. |
have used and prescribed hundreds of bottles
since the days of my army practice 1883,
when was surgeon of Hospital No. ], Louis
vile, KY"
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02
Dissolution Notice.

The medical firm Of Drs. Weathers &
Hays has been dissolved by mutual con-
sent. DIR. Weathers still continues the
practice Of progressive medicine, making
a specially of chronic diseases and dis
eases of women and children. 1l-306t
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02
December Assessment.

The members of Section 632, Endow-
ment Rank, X. p, are hereby notified
that assessment for December is now
due and must be paid before the 10th;
also all quarterly dues must be paid be-
fore January l, 1887.
Il. B. JOHNSON, Secretary.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02
Paint Your Roofs.

BY having your'roofs painted well they will
last three times as lorg, and stops up all the
flaws and small holes, thereby preventing
lcaAs during the storm and rains OF the com
ing winter months. Orders left with me at
the corner of Avenue T. and Houston street
will be promptly and satisfactorily done. Also
all kinds of house, sign and carriage painting
Rest material used. Charges reasonable.
S24-2m +. PAsCHE.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02
To the Voters of the City of San Antonio:

| most respectfully announce myself as
candidate for the position of Street Commits
siOner at the coming city election, and prom
Use. If elected. to work to the best interest of
all taxpayers. Asking your hearty support at
the ballot am, respectfully,
JAS. I. A. BOWMAN,
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02
FOR CITY COLLECTOR,

The undersigned most respectfully an
nOunccs himself to the citizens as u candidHt c
for reelection TO the Office OF City Collector, ut
the ensuing city election. TO be held on the l4th
day of February, 1887.
FRED C., HAUEIsEN
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02

Prof. Tereitschke has been appointed
histographer Of Prussia, to succeed the
late Prof. Won Ranke.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02

Bulgarians are sincerely DESTROYS OF
peace and think seriously OF asking some
American to take the throne.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1886-12-02

Ed. Dwyer has been admitted to
practice at the federal court.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21


At table especially our American people
need great deal of training. Wherever
go am struck with our sad need of careful
training. AS a country, we need careful in
struction in our manners, more especially at
hotels Only the other day, at the table
d'hote, heard a man ask for half a dozen
buckwheat cakes, and when they came to him
he moistened the tips Of his fingers in finger
bowl and ran over the cakes as he would a
roll of currency for he was the assistant
cashier in a national bank. Another man at
the same table was asked to pass the pepper
box and he took it with his thumb on the bot
tom and his two first fingers on the top, just
as he had been in the habit of moving a
stack Of chips from the ace to the deuce, no
doubt, for years.
So we as people crowd our yocations to
the front, and are not able to Danish our
trades and professions, even at table. We
should try to overcome this, and there are
many other features of our national etiquette
which we need to change.
Only last week saw a fine looking young
man sit at hotel table combing his mus,
tache with his fork, and while in a brown study
the fork slipped ont of the mustache and
plunged with a sickening iab into his eye, We
cannot be too careful in our intercourse with
men to avoid all appearance Of evil.
Etiquette always marks the true gentleman
and makes him an object of curiosity, espe
cially at a hotel. When you see a gentleman
with whom you are not acquainted you
should look upon him with genteel horror and
shudder two times in rapid succession. Thi,
will convince stranger that you have beer
reared with the greatest care and that youI
parents have taken special pains not to allow
you to associate with vulgar pcople.-Bil
Nye in The New York Mercury
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
HYMEN IN IDAHO.
The Marrying Up of the Doane Family
at Wagon Wheel Camp.

WAGON WHEEL, /. T., July 31.-A section
of the recent history Of this camp Will give
outsiders faint idea of the demand for
women which exists in parts Of the west A
few weeks ago John Doane, a miner here,
was taken sick, and, as he seemed likely to
die, word was sent to his relatives in Mis-
souri,. In ten days his two sisters, both
maiden ladies, reached Wagon Wheel, but
too late to see their brother alive. He had
died few days after the telegram had been
sent, and had been buried in the little come
tery under the hill, where several men had
preceded him with their boots on.
The leading men of the town took the
ladies in charge and saw that they were
properly cared for at the hotel, where nearly
everybody here called on them. One of the
young women was rather tall and angular,
probably 80 years of age, while the other was
much younger and more prepossessing in ap-
pearance. They We're well nigh exhausted
after their long journey, and the mayor of
the town, Cap. Bowen, and the sheriff, Syl-
vester Ford, insisted on their taking good
rest before attempting to transact any busi-
ness or thinking of going home. Their
brother had some property, and the girls de
cided to remain and settle up his affairs.
About a week after their arrival Sheriff
Ford informed some of his friends that he was
engaged to Miss Doane the elder and certain
actions on the part of Cap Bowen led the
| boys to believe that he was trying to dazzle
the eyes of the younger lady. That set the
| town in an uproar, and from that time on
for several days until the matter was settled
no young woman in America was so indus
triously wooed as was Miss Fanny Doane.
The mayor had good start of the other
boys, but he needed it, and more, too He had
been very kind to the young women, how
ever, and it took some finesse to cut him out
but Henry Bowler, a strapping young fellow
of 30, had the requisite amount
In the course of a few days it was ar
ranged that the weddings should take place
here, and that the ladies' mother should bt
sent for that the thing might go off in gooC
style.
Mrs Doane arrived here last Monday even
ing on the warpath, determined that the mar
riages should not take place. She was
comely. well-preserved woman of perhaps 81
years, with brisk way about her, When sh
saw her daughters she burst into tears, ant
upbraided them for their forgetfulness o
their dead brother and their immodest hast
generally, and at length, when she saw tn
sheriff and Bowler, she gave them piece o
her mind as well. All hands were in despai
when old Cap Bowen came along, and bot
the sheriff and Bowler besought him, q
mayor of the town, to intercede in their be
half This he did after a while. He called o
Mrs Doane in the sitting room, and intro
duced himself in his most dignified manner q
the mayor of Wagon Wheel, man nece
sarily interested in the welfare of all il
citizens
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
---.-.-----
It's ENGLISH. YOU KNOW.
Bill Nye's Endeavor to Introduce His
Ancestors sport.
SLIPPERY ELMIrHsr,

SLIPPERY ELMuCHST,
HUDSON, Wis, July II, 1856.
To the Editor of The Globe:
DEAR SIR: Could you inform constant
reader of your valuable paper where he
would he most likely to obtain good, dura-
BILE, wild fox which could be used for hunting
purposes ON my premises' desire a fox that
is a good roadster and yet not too blood
thirsty. II / could secure one that would not
ite it would tickle me most to death.
You know, perhaps, that l am Of English
origin. Some If the best and bluest blood of
the Oldest and most decrepit families in Eng
land flows in my veins. There is no better
blood extant. We love the exhilarating
sports of our ancestors, and nothing thrills us
through and through like the free chase
across country behind the fleeing fox. joy
ously we gallop over the sward behind the
yelping pack, us we clearly scent high, low,
jack and the game.
My ancestors are naughty English people
from Piscataquis county, Maine. For cen
turies our rich, warm, red blood has been
/ mellowed by the clderberry wine and buckle
berry juice of Mooschead lake; but now and
then it will assert itself and mantle in the
broad and indostructible check of our race.
Ever and anon in our family you will notice
the slender, triangular chest, the broad and
naughty sweep OF abdomen, and the high, in
tellectual eXpanse of pelvic bones, which de-
notes the true Englishman; proud, high
| spirited, soaked full Of calm disdain, wearing
checked pantaloons, and u soft, ilabby tour
lists hat that has bow at both ends, so that
a man cannot get too drunk to put it on his
head straight.
know that here in democratic America,
where every man has TO earn his living or
marry rich, people will scom my high-born
love of the fox chase and speak in slight
ing manner Of my wild, wild yeam for the
rush and scampcr of the hunt By Jove, but
il is joy indeed TO gallop over the sward and
the cover and the open land, the meet and the
cucumber vines of the plebeian farmer, toiuI
over the wife of the peasant and tramp her
low, coarse children into the rich mold.
This shows our superiority as a race. We
have been that way for hundreds of years
We could work in order TO be sociuble, but
we would not allow it TO sap the foundations
of our whole being
| write, therefore, to learn, if possible
where l can get good red or gray fox tina
will come home nights. had Il fox last sea
son for hunting purposes, but he did not Civ
satisfaction. lie was constantly getting int
the pound. do not want an animal OF thu
kind. want one that / shall always bnoy
where l can put my hand upon him when
want to hunt.
would like, also, a tall red horse with
sawed-of tail; one that can jump barbe
wire fence without mussing it up with frag
ments of his rider. Any one who may hay
such a horse or pipless fox will do well t
communicate with me in person or by letter
inclosing references. may be found durin
the summer months on my estate, spread ou
under tree, engaged in thought
Il. FITzwILLIAM NYE.
SLIPPERY ETMHURsT, Hudson, Wis-Bo
ton Globe
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
A Zig ,Tulnp.

tone day about two weeks ago, said Mr..
John 7. Sullivan, Il was on ferryboat
crossing over from Detroit. We had Just
cast off the ropes when an IriShman rushed
through the gate, threw down his money. and
waved his fist.
"'Howld on, hDwld on he shouted
"'Jump! jump we shouted
"The boat was barely three feet from the
dock, and he could have stepped acloss the
chasm He stepped back, took a run, and made
an awkward leap lie made it, but he landed
on banana peel which lay on the deck, and
before he stopped rolling he was in the for.
ward part of the boat. When he got up and
brushed off his clothes The boat was fifty foot
from the shore, Looking at the stretch of
water he slapped his thigh and exclaimed,
proudly:
"Begora what lepr' Chicago News.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
Ills Fmtmre Assured.

Il guess I'm pretty safe about going to
heaven" remarked Bobby to young Mr.
Fcathcrly.
Mr.. Featherly replied that he earnestly
hopel 50, and then inquired why Bobby felt
so confident about the matter,
Because" explained Bobby. INA says that
it amt safe to trust me where there's fire.
New York sun
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21

The regular lecturer to the panorama being
i'll, his assistant behind the scenes, a Hiber-
nian, otficated in that capacity one night.
Lecturer-This movin' scane. gintlemen
and ladies, represents Daniel in the Lions
Den This is Daniel betwixt the lions
Auditor-Be them wild lions or circus
lions.
Lecturer-l pity the ignorance of the like
af -e2- sor This was B. c., before circusas.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
Rlnn,n1nss Anal.

The new baby had proved itsslf the pos
sessor of extraordinary vocal powers, and
had exercised them mucli to Juhnny's annoy
Rnce
One day he sal to his mother:
Ma, little brother came from heaven Ilidu't
her
Yes, dear"
Johnny was silent for some time. and then
he went on.
"Sav, ma
what is il, Johnny.
Il don't blame the angels tor bouncing
him, do yOu.'-Nerchant Traveller
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
nlira RrnnrhrA

"Do you go to school, son;' ayes, sir"
"What do you learn'n Don't learn nawth-
in" "You do not learn anything Why
notl" "Don't have to. School trustees dead
stuck on the directors daughter, directors
clean gone on the young school marm, an
the school marm's mashed on one of the big
boys. You bet we don't have TO learn
nawthin'. "-Burdette in BROOKLYN Eagle.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21

That trhdt ne are kickiig about
CALLED me was that you should of waited
till the old cu.s was extinct before YOU come
TO us like Il man and told MS about it. You
pull Us through the sand for a week and llis-
Ter our heels and condemn near kill US and
all the tine yuu know that the blame brute
is layin there in the hot sun gittm' more and
more extinct every minute. Fun is fun, and
l like a little nonsense now and then Just as
well as you do hut I'll I've eternaly banishcd
to Bitter creek il | think its square or right
or white to play it on your friends this kind
OF n way.
"You claim that the animal has been dead
gOin' an 300 years, or some such thing rs
that, aud try 10 get out of it that way, but
long as You knew it and we didn't it shows
that you're a low cusS not to speak of it.
What difference does it make to us, say,
whether this brute was or was not dead and
| Swelled up like plzend steer long before
More got his Hnolusirkle show together: We
! didn't know it, We haven't seen the Salt
| Lake paprIs for weeks. You use your ed r.
cation to fool people with. My opinion is
/ that the day is not far distant when you will
wake up and find yourself in the bottom of
an mtimcly grave
| "Nou bring us 100 miles to look at an old
| bone pile all trampel into the ground ami
| then say that the animal Is eNtinCk. That's a
! great way 10 talk to an old man like me, a
/ man old enough TO be your grandfather.
PrObly Suu carklate that it is rare treat foI
an Uld-timcr like me TO waller through from
Green river to the Nalerstunr and then hear
a young kangaroo with moth-eatcn eye
brow under his nose burst forth into rol
licking laugh and say that the animal we've
been trailin for five days Is uNtinrk.
u just want to say to you. James Trilobitt
EtOn, and say it for your good, and say il
with no cjudire against you for | want tC
sec you Su cccd that if this ever huppen
ngin and You are the party to blame YOU will
wake up with IA wild start on the lullerin
day and find yourself good deal "xtnciel
than this here old busted lizard is Bill NJ,
IN Chicago News,
He Wasn't in the No-Fada rmsIness.
"Didn't you warrant this suit of clothes no
to fadc:' Indignantly demanded WORKING
man of old Moses ON Chatham street
mo, my frendt.'
YES You did bought EN- on your war
rant not TO fade
MY frendt keep cool You vhas in de.
wrong shtore. vhas der man who warrant
my clothes not to shrink. II WINS my brud
der, twod doors avhay, who goes ON der no
fade pcesnrss und fails regularly twice ,
year. He sulst failed again last night.-Wal
Strapt Nnyrs
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
He wasn't in The No-rnde I,n,rne
Had q RIrht to Innrh.

"Hello, Charley! What's up: Never saw
you looking so jolly and happy
My hcst girl just got married
"tiot married! Why, man, is that any
thing TO bc gay and festive over! You ought
/ to be in the last stages of melancholy"
That's all right Non SEE, I'm the fellow
she married Merchant Traveller.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
How rat Converted His Fcllow-conyict,.

Yesterday it was the good fortune of a re-
porter of this paper to meet priest who is
frequently called to the Charity hospital, and
who has accomplished much good in reform
ing the unfortunate people so often found in
that institution. During the conversation
the reverend father told numerous amusing
anecdotes of his personal experiences, and
wound up a very pleasing evening by telling
n funny story about priest in Ireland who
was laboring to get a number Of convicts to
join the Catholic church 1t seems that seven
men were sentenced to be transported, and
among them was an lrishmnn convicted of
counterfeiting. According to the custom of
the country the Couyicts were allowed to
choose any religion they desired to adopt, and
the lrShman made up his mind that they
should all become Catholics Accordingly,
when they assembled in the prison yard the
subject of religion was brought up by the
lrshman who s,d: Boys We have ali been
bad together, we have made lots of money
and spent it, and now since We all have to
join the church there il no reason why we
should I've separated now propose that we
toss ha'penny and shape olIr course on the
result. If harp comes up we will be Catho-
lies, and if a queen shows on top we will he
ProsestantsN -
"AEreei,' said the conyictS, and Pat tossed
the ha'penny and the harp won
Accordingly, they all became Catholics. and
just before their departure the parish priest
approached Pat and asked him how he man.
aged to convert his fellow convicts oh
easy enough, replied Pat, and then he told
the story Of the ha'penny.
did You risk your immortal soul ON the
turning of a peny'" exclaimed the priest in
holy horror.
Indeed l did not, replied Pat; "that
ha'penny had a harp on both sides Imade il
myself New Orleans Times Democrat
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
H5s
THOMAS coesWELL,
Democratic Candidate for Governor of
New Hamnshire.

Capt Cogswell, the Democratic nominee
for governor of New Hampshire, was born in
that state forty-ilve years ago. He graduated
from Dartmouth in 1862, Immediately entered
the army and was promoted captain of his
company within a year. After the war he
studied law, and has practiced it since his ad-
mission to the bar in 1866
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
The Woods Were FuIl al Thrm,

In the - regiment, Indiana volunteers,
during the late war, was an unusually eccen-
trio native Of Erin Go Brgh," who had the
fortune while on picket duty to capture a
Confederate soldier and take him to camp.
In the same company was lazy and far
from courageous comrade, who, seeing Dan
with prisoner to be turned over to the colo
mel OF the regiment, said:
Dan, You are Obliged 10 go back on duty;
let me take the prisoner up to headquarters. 80
"Bedad AM not bit of it. Ii YOU want a
rebel go out and catch one for yourself The
bush is full of en-, was Dams rcply-De-
troit Free Press
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
HUNTING AN lcTHYosAuRus.
Bill Nye and Party Were Disappointed
In tha Eapna.

E V Err AL years
ago 1 had the pleas
ure of joining a
party about 10 start
out along the banks
of Bitter creek on a
hunting expedition.
The leader of the
party was a young
man who had re
Gently escaped from
college with a large
amount of knowl-
edge which he de-
sired TO experiment
with on the people
of the far west. He
had heard ha t
there was an icthy-
osaurus up some
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21

He was elected a representative to the gen
eral court in 1S1l-T2, overcoming a Republi-
can majority of 60 in his town, Gilmanton,
and was the Democratic speaker of the house
in 1S12 and elected a state senator in 1878.
Capt Cogswell was chairman of the board of
selectmen in 1SSO-Sl-S2. In 1881 he was
elected solicitor of Bellinap county. He is
now engaged in agricultural pursuits and in
the management of his large landed estate.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21
BILL NYE ON ETIQUETTE.

Crying Need of Our Nation According
to an Authority.
Some day when I get more time, I am
going to prepare long treatise upon eti-
quette, and deliver it to the American people,
illustrated by one of those stereopticons. Eli
quette has been a lifelong study for me- 1t
is thing that has engrossed my attention
from my earliest boyhood, and it shows itself
at once in my polished manners and easy-run-
ming carriaGe.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21

When a man has to chalk his head and uss
u shoe horn to get his hat on, It is time for
him to think seriously of reform. Chicago
Ledger
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21

A cold snap breaking an ioiole.
The best thing out-an aching tooth
Are hair-brained people ever bald
headed?
The cnild's doll is the earliest "saw.
dust swindle."
The tipsy man labors under the
impression that the world moves.
The most delicate individual in the
world, should he tread upon lady.
train, is liable to become robe bus
man.
"Yoost dook goot care nit your lagel
beer saloon," says Carl Pretzel, unt
so helup me gracious dot place will tool
goot care nit you"
Human efforts to achieve certain aims
are very much like a cat trying to catcl
its tail. Just as we think we are abou
to succeed, away goes the tail,
Bagley-"Say, Bailey, do You knoy
what DIR. Heidelberg is-allopath o
homeopath ?" Bailey-"I don't thinl
he's hom@opath-hes away from homt
so much.
There is one consolation in bein,
bald. When policeman strikes yoi
on the head with his club the docto
doesn't have to waste any time in cut
ting the hair from the wound
"I know" said jackson, chat
swear great deal, but you see, hav
such flow of language that am neces
salily compelled to put dam in no,
and then to steady the current"
"It may be-" soliloquised an Athlete,
old lady, "that my troubles are bless
ings in disguise, as my friends are ii
the time telling me, but do wish they,
throw off the disguise once in while.
"Mariar, what book was You readh
so late last night?" "It was novel b
Dumas the elder" "Elderr don
believe it. What church was lie eide
on, ish'd like to know, and writ novels
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-08-21

-
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-02-17
The lhQuisitive Jap.

The Japanese excel rs in politeness
and in inquisitiveness. Their politeness
demands such forms that to rs 1t IL
wearisome, and their Inconsistencies is
both amusing and Troublesome. Re-
Gently l was ON trip in the country
and some men sent to my room in the
hotel six or seven fine eggs. It is quite
usual for visitors to bring present the
first time they come. A few minutes
later three visitors came and asked
some hard questions. viz: There Is
oil in the mountain, how shall We get
it oute How clean it? How can We
make cotton out Of straw? How will
We get wax from fish oil? How can we
get sugar out Of turnipse" I did not
answer all those questions, nor
Others they asked Ms;.-hat in ~
conversation, when i, told them
that the earth revolvod armand the sun,
they looked at each oeher n utter dis
bslief and pity.-Cw: sSN EFs~esses
DwliejiS.