The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1886-11-24
THE PROGRESSIVE GARNER, "a. 1886
flashes Of Fun.

~
know how long girls should be
courted. Why, the same as short
girls of course.
-"Selfacting rubbers" is the
sign which frequently meets the eye.
They could, no doubt, be made use
full in a Turkish bath.
Oliver Wendall Holmes used to
be an amateur photographer. When
he presented a picture to a friend he
wrote On the back of it, "Taken by
O. w. Holmes & Sum
do you think I'm a simpleton,
sir?' Numbered a fiery Scotch laird
to his new footman. aye see, sir"
said the canny Scot, I'm no lang
here and l dinna ken yet.
ATidbits tell the story of a con
ductor on a slow railroad who told
a passenger that he had been on the
road for nine years. "Then,' said
the passenger, "this must be your
second trip"
Husband going fishing: Good
by, wiley | won't come until late
unless | catch something" Wife:
eff you don't come until hate, Hub
by you'll be sure to catch something,
you hear meY
-"Who held up Moses hands
while Joshua fought the Philistines?'
asked the Superintendent. "Hur
and Aaron" shouted the good bow.
She and Aaron" softly corrected
the new schoolma'am.
Geo. Currier, in the Boston city
hall, tells of a valiant Irishmen who
threatened to shoot a Confederate
soldier so full of holes that "his soul
would be bothered which one Of
them to fly through
From Edwin Arnold'snew poem
we learn that ''Upon acertain morn
at Rajagriha, in Wassantatimus,
Lord Buddhasate-the great Tatha-
cato" 1t seems like an incredible
statement but it may be true.
Down in Higganum, Conn, a
four-legged chicken has survived to
come to maturity. There will be a
very embarrassing fowl some day,
when it's carver finds himself with
four drumsticks to dispose of:
1t is reported that on one occa-
sion last Winter, while Sarah Bern
hardt was out sleighing, she was
accidentally thrown from the cutter
whereupon Il small boy cried out;
Hey, mister, you've lost yourwhip."
"A wag's dog (not a dogs wag)
wouldn't follow him and was dub
bed "non sequiter' or "ilogical in
ference; another mans dog died
and then to questions about the
canine he made answer, ''cur non
Two commercial travellers COM
pairing notes: Il have been out
three weeks said the first, "and
have only got four orders.
THAT beats me- said the other.
81 have been out four weeks and
have only got n order, and that's
an order from the firm to come
home"
off it wusn't for one thing, boys"
said an old farmer as he got down
from his wagon, I'D bet emmy
amount O. money on that bay colt O
mine trottin' a mile in PIG IA. I'd
bet a million dollars eff | had it,"
The crowd laughed derisively. "What
is that one thing?" asked one of the
crowd. "The distance is too fur fer
the time"
They went out in the cleaning,
listening to the music of the insect
world. "Arthur," she exclaimed
breaking the noisy silence, chow
delightful and yet how sad is the
monotonous chorus of those toad
stools!" "Toadstools? my DEAR"
replied Arthur; II guess you mean
crickets." eyes, crickets; that's
what ] mean. [ knew it was some
thing to sit on"
1t is a little Boston girl who
has been encouraged to believe that
when she is left alone to 60 to sleep
the angels are lowering around her
and keeping her company. The
other night, having been prepared
for bed before she went up she turn
ed around at the top of the stairs
beckoned eagerly down and called
out, "Come along angels"