Morning journal and courier., 1886-07-17

| providence that he did net belong to tn,
 | fourth party. This same Randolph Church
 l ill, better known now as ''Lord Random" ol simply Randy" is, with Mir. Gladstone, one of the heroes of the fray, the clown of the pantomime should say. Nothing that may | excite the wonders of the playgoers in Lon
 don next Christmas season can outdo in ex- 1 travagance and absurdity the farcica1 per
 formances given by the noble lord on Eng
 fish platforms. On hearing him you fancy
 Boxing day has come before it's time.
 English hospitality, great as it is, does not go to the length of granting vote to for | eigners; but since, however, John Bull pock-
 cts my taxes without the least scruple, I dc
 not see why I should not make my remarks
 on the electoral battle now raging through
 the country. To use vulgar expression,
 firmly believe that the two great parties of
 the State ar" "humbugging" each other. When ! the Liberals cry out that the Conservatives I want coercion they make & false statement. ! When the Conservatives say that the Libe- I rals want to tear this great empire to
 pieces they make a statement hardly in &C., | cordance with the truth. All Englishmen ! feel that some reform is needed in Ireland ! Therefore the right question seems to me to l be 'What reform shall be mades' And if I some kind of home rule is to be granted to ! the sister-isle, "what shape shall it take:' ! But if it is question of detail, not of prin- | ciple, how on earth are the constituencies to | settle it? If the English and the Scotch re- ! turn MT. Gladstone to power it will look as I if his home rule bill is backed up by the country, which is not the case. If, on the ! other hand, Lord Salisbury is called back to ! Downing street it will look as if England ! wants to rule Ireland vi ct armis, which is l not the case either. may be an innocent, | but feel ready to exclaim, like Bagile in "The Barber of Seville" (Which one is it ! they are thus deceivingf"
 Whether the late MT. Holloway. of pill and ! ointment celebrity, did good in his lifetime \ with his pills and ointment may be disputed 1 by doctors and patients, but there can be no ! question about his doing good after his ! death. He left handsome sum of money | to found an asylum for better class lunatics, as you may know, and besides that, being I much impressed with the necessity of a higher education for women, left three mil lion five hundred thousand dollars to build and endow grand college for four hundred and fifty girls of the upper middle class. The building is said to cover more ground than any college in the world. Every girl will have bedroom and study to herself. Lovely grounds laid out in terraces and ten his lawns surround the building and many of the gentlemen who went down the other day to private view of the place, previous to the opening of it by the Queen, would not have objected to be turned into girl students just for few years and peacefully study
  Her Majesty commanded that the epithet of Royal" should be applied to the college at once, instead of after the opening ceremony as is usual. Seldom indeed did an estab- lishment better meet the title.
 After the expulsion of the Royals from France I look for the expulsion of the Royal ists. It has not yet come, but there is no time lost, for things are going on at fine rate. The Chamber of Deputies, not to be outdone by the revolutionary municipal council, now proposes the abolition of all titles of nobility. If this bill passes no Frenchman will be able to write that beloved little particle ''de" before his name whether he has right to it or not-under a penalty of few months imprisonment if you please. One carrot help thinking it is a pity they have not something better to do than to waste their time and breath over such nonsense. That 'tparliament" No, huge "chatternent!' There is nothing practical about the bill. For my part l much prefer another proposition made some time ago, but Set aside in spite of it's really practical charm, which made it desirable as it was amusing. A Parisian deputy con- ceived the brilliant idea of selling titles of nobility at so much each according to the grade. Say the title of duke fifty thousand dollars; that of marquis forty thousand; that of count thirty thousand and so forth. For twenty thousand dollars any man would have the right to put "de" before his name
  1 would have taken, the treasury would have overfowcd and the real nobles would have of course dropped their titles so not to be confounded with the mushroom aristoc- racy. Thus two birds would have been killed with one stone. But the passing of such a measure would have dealt a terrible blow to the Franeo-American matrimonial market, and your pretty countrywomen would have forsaken the Faubourg St. Germain l am thinking. Only few days ago, at party in one of the most exclu sive houses, there were thirty seven Amer ican-b born lady guests bearing thirty-seven of the most authentically noble names in France.
 The French, the Parisians especially, who are excellent swimmers, will be able to enjoy life in Paris this summer. The great Cirque has been transformed into swimming bath. The Parisians generally have great faith in their compatriots' abili- ties, but when they heard of this scheme, they took it for a joke and the few who believed in. it were laughed at. But last Tuesday they went, they saw and they were con quered; that is convinced Picture to your self an immense basin of mother of pearl filled with water so Impid that needle could have been seen at the hottom. Every Parisian who cannot swim will be seized
 with desire to learn at once, thanks to M. Oller. This clever engineer went to Vienna,
 saw there the "Diana bath" which is ball
 
 sight of it inspired him with the idea of pro- viding Paris with the same boon. And the
 result is bath that would have delighted
 high life under Titus or Caracalla. Besides
 this he has fitted up magnificent fencing
 room under the same roof and spacious
 cIoak-room where visitors will be certain to
 find their deposited property in safety on
 leaving the bath-which not always the
 case in the reign of Augustus if we are to
 believe the wicked tongues of Ovid and
 Plantus.
 Highland paper publishes the following
 homely little bit of Scotch verse. The Queen,
 who saw it whilst at Balmoral, was so pleased
 with it that she asked to see the author. The
 old Scot will be happy for the rest of his life. The poem runs as follows: 'sHE EoDDIT TO ME!' I'm but auld body Living up in Deeside
 In a twa-roomed bit hoosie, Wi 8 toofa' beside; Wi my an my grumphy Im as happy's a bee, But I'm far prouder noo Since she nodd't to me! I'm nae far past wit I'm gie trig an hale,
 Can plant twa-three tawtie5 An look arter my kale; An when GOT Queen passes . rin oot to see, Gin by luck she might notice And nod oot 70 me!
 But I've aye been unlucky
 And the blinds were aye doom Till last week the time
 O. her v6eSit room.
 waved nay bit apron
 As brisk g could des,
 An the Queen lauched flu kindly An noddit to me!
 My son sleeps in Egypt