Morning journal and courier., 1886-05-21
WANTS.

'Will labor carry the day?' asks a writer. Labor does not want the day. It only wants eight hours of it.-Burlington Free Press. Teacher to grammar olass-"Never use a proposition to end sentence with" Bright pupil to teacher-"What part of speech does with belong top Parsing exercise resumed Things One Would Rather Have Left Un- said.-She (to her partner)-Do you like the lancers? He-Yaas. It's so jolly to be able to dance with another fellows partner, you knowl-Punch.
 ''Mr. Jones'" said little Johnny to the gen tleman who was making an afternoon call "can whisky talka' ''No my child; however can you ask such question: "Oh! nothing only Ma said whisky was beginning to tell on you"
 When we consider the belligerent attitude of Greece against the defeneeless European powers, we can't help thinking what aw- ful thing it would be if Rhode Island should rise up in rebellion some day and wipe out the United States.-Somerville Journal.
 At Cannes, one day, cold wind was blowing Said hotel keeper to guest: Brilliant sunshine, isn't itP' "Yes; but yours is not 8 very warm sun." "Thats just where it is. It's cold sumo perspiring days and sleepless nights in this favored lati- tude!''-Tidbits.
 Boys are apt to have an excuse for playing hockey. A few days since gentleman saw little six year old fellow playing during school hou1s about a quarter of mile from home. and inquired: Johnny, why are you not at school?' ''Mother is sick, and I stayed home to take care of her," was the ready re- ply.-Lynn Item.
 A Boston man who was looking through the iron fence that protects the Old GranarY burying ground yesterday was astonished to see dozen of the old moss-grown graves hump right up in the middle Rushing down to Washington street to carry the news to the papers, he saw the bulletin boards the cause of the singular disturbance an nouncement that the court of claims had de- cided that the United States was in duty bound to settle the French spoliation claims -Springfeld Union.
 A boy twelve years old was the important witness in lawsuit One of the lawyers, after cross questioning him severely, said: 'tYour father has been talking to you and said the boy. ''Now,' said the lawyer, ''just tell us how your father told you to testify" ''Well," said the boy modestly, 'father told me that the lawyers would try and tangle me in my testimony; but if would just be careful and tell the truth I could tell the same thing every time. ."-Exchange. At large and would-he fashionable we'd ding recently held in town in this State the solemnity was rudely disturbed by a rathsr unexpected answer. The bride had entered on her uncle's arm, and was met by the groom at the ehancel. The uncle then re- tired and took seat in the body of the house. All went we'll until the clergymen asked the question: "Who giveth this woman to be welded to this man?" He paused for the answer, and the uncle rose and, placing his hands on the pew in front of him, said, in accents louder than are common at weddings, "Me!"-Boston Traveller.
 They tell it down at Oglethorpe. While General Gordon was speaking an old coun- tryman sat upon 8 rock shaving pine stick. When the orator finished, the eountryman was heard to humble as though arguing with friend: s'Well He did all the fight in endurin' the war, he whipped all the
 Yankees, he saved Georgy, an South Calliny, and Floridy, an Loosyany, an the rest of the States, an he built all the railroads by hisself. That fellow needs rest, an ain't for crowdin' the Governors job onto him. Bacon is big strong fellow an seems to want to do somethin'. reckon we'd better let him try it awhile. Macon Telegraph.