The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1886-11-25
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

-SnakoSpearo was not DrOK0r; Out
does anyone know of another man who
has furnished so many stock quotations!
N. =. Telegram.
Misery loves company and com.
pany causes the good hOusekeeper q
good deal of misery too, when she
hasn't anything cooked in the house. -
SonaerUilic Journal.
keep your temper, my dear sir, J"
said an old Judge to an irritable young
lawyer; 'keep your temper-it is worth
great deal more to you than to any
body else"
1t has been remarked that the
youth who wears the tallest collar and
carries the largest stick wears the
smallest hat; but why it is nobody
seems to know.-Philadelphia Call.
1t is in vain for you to deny It.
Here aru three witnesses who saw you
commit the deed. Prisoner Only
threee And pray what are three out
Of a population of 56,OoO.o .oOO.-The
Judge.
-..My DEAR" said mother annoyed
at some incautious remarks of her little
girl, "why can't you keep . secrete"
"Because," said Little Mischief, de-
murely. "two Of my front teeth are
gone, mamma" a.
The Sunday Herald has an article
ON "A Girls Room How to Make 1t
Attractiver But the article misses
the best answer to its own question,
to-wit: Put the girl in the room.-Loc-
ell Courier. ~. .auEt
1t has been revealed that when
Daniel Webster got stuck for q word
he ured to rub his nose with his finger.
This is profoundly interesting, but not
strange. Now, II he had rubbed his
nose with his heel or even his elbow
but the subject is getting too deep
Philadelphio CaU -~t t H' ~.
Boston has a young man with two
hearts. It is supposed ''they beat as
one." Should he divide his hearts with
two young ladies. we don't suppose
either Of tie latter would be satisfied.
They would call him a heartless
wretch, despite his surplus of cardiac
organ.-Boston Post.
--..George," she murmured fondly,
''do you believe in supporting mo-
nopoly?' mo, dear. I don't. l be-
lieve in helping monopoly along just
as little as can. But why do you ask ?''
20, don't know, only I thought may
be if you didn't you would have turned
down the gas. s."-Neao Hauen NeWs. y
-Caller-'You are sure Mrs. De
Bangs is not at homer" Maid-"Yis,
ma am" Caller-"Pm very sorry;
wanted to interest her in the Society
for the Amelioration of the Wrongs Of
Servants, and shall not have time to
call again" Maid with sudden inter
esD await . minute. ma'an, and I'll
thry her again. TId-Bas. lla
MIR. Doubledollar-''O. yes, Min
ME is very accomplished. Why, she
sings in French. Italian and Spanish. y
Mr.. De Smythe that is vor,
nice; but should think she would
learn some Of those pretty little En-
glish songs that are SO popular nova
days" MIR. Doubledollar - "Why
that's an English song she's singing
now" MIR. De Smythe-''Indeed!
thought it was French, Italian AM
Spanish. Life.
Pretty glrl.-"An old woman tolt
| me to day that fought to get some love
powder and she said she guessed yoI
kept it," Druggist-"You can mix
yourself BY mixing half Q teaspoonfu
Of sugar with-a minute quantity 9
| powdered starch" '.Yes, and how VII
/ give It TO himf' "You mnst invite
him 70 . supper which you prepare
and slip It into his coffee" ':And VI
that make him want 70 marry mee
1T will II the coffee y good and sverj
thipg elss well cooked. "-0Ataaee zra