Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1886-01-23

80 W loNoSA " &SSNy ~ ~
sons of domestic unpleasantuess.
At Dinncr.-Horatio (thought to
have proposed to Miss Lucy)-'Do
you like ginger ale, Miss Lucyp"
Miss Lucy-"No. l don't like any,
thing that pops. except champagne"
Allpresent {ia ohorus)-''We thought
co."
Instead OF the old-fashioned Eyes.
ma'am," and mo. ma'am." which
have been discarded by modern
Madame Etiquet, fashionable children
are taught 10 say, "Yes. mamma"
mo. papa" Eyes, Mrs. Smith" In
the revolving Of fashion probably the
antique Yes. forsooth." will be the
next substitute.
A grooer's boy complained to his
employer that he was worked too hard
and did not got sufficient rest. Il
know. Johnny." admitted the grocer.
''that you arc kept pretty busy most
of the time. but III see what can be
done. Perhaps when cold weather sets
in I'll let you draw molassss once iu q
while. "-BostoA journal.
Why She Wcpt.-"I 500 by a cable
,lispatch," said IL fashionable uptown
lady. very much distrussed, ''tliat the
eldest son of Lord Knowgood is dead"
..Who is Lord Knowgood," asked tho
fashionaD.e iady's husband.
81 only know that he is a member
Ut the English aristocracy," sto TO-
n,lie'i. w,piny away the tears.
L ISIS OF Appc,ite look sick:
WHAT'S the matter with you anvhowp'
SAID Gus DO Smith on meeting Gil
nooly. My stomach is in an awful
iix. I've lost my appetite for whisky
cam, drink Il drop" lbs, your up.
petite for whisky, have you? Well, !
pity the poor devI wno finds it. unless
no has credit at the saloons" ~ IexuS
S.JH gs.
My dear, look down below" said
Granuiose. rs ho stood on Waterloo
Bridge, witt, his wife, aud gazcd at u
painting tug hauling Il long line Of
Dargo>, '.su"h is lite-the tug is like u
man, working and .oi!ing. while The
uarycs. like women, are ~ 81
know," interrupted Mrs. G., acridly,
1.-The tug docs ull the Blowing, and the
bargcs Ocar all the burden"
The only stakeholder that ever got s
dividend ont OF the old Harrington
Comm Canal has just died. The
president told him there was no divi
dend, and no prospect Of any dividend,
and jestingly told him to go home AMI
NOW the towpath for a dividend. MI.
Munson did SO, taking a 20 per cent.
dividend in hay from the eight miles
of towpath, aud went on doing this
with perfect c%omplacenoy thereafter
N. =. Sun.
Queer Pets-''Cienentina. wat In dcl
world yo' got dem flies Gagged forl
fought yo' dec!ar'd 20 wasn't goin'
tor keep no 0 pets when 20 knary
bud died, ur is it some Oh do cl,ild'en's
work." Ian = me-, pap, dem hahn
pets! OATS . hy trap wot 20 ketct
hies wild. doan yo' know; wat Ligt
bought dis summah. Wa'al. l won'el
yo' hain't seen dem fore now."-
Harher's BauN.
"Isn't 'Coliar-B Button rather an ode
nickname to give your boy2" asked
gentleman OF u friend who had JUS
addressed his son by that title
"Well, l don't know" replied tn.
father, laughingly. 1T may sound
little curious, but it suits the boy first
rate"
"Why do you think the hickman,
Collar-Button' suits the boyp"
Because" was the reply. ."when h,
slips out in the evening | am neve,
able to find him. Philadelphia Cali.
A gentleman having playfully severet
a lock of hair from the head. Of ayouu,
lady to whom he was attached. al
though he had made no formal declara
ton, received next day from her
letter urgently requesting the restora
ton of the stolen lock. 10 this be ~
piled az follows:-
BY one only tcompense can l be led
With this beautiful ringS to part;
If have 10 restore you the lock Of:your head
You must give me the key of your heart.
The lndy immediately replied
Who soreee!ocks sanaot require a hey.
Working up Trade. First citizel
Ito Brown. u grocery deaIer)-'I say
Brown. I'm Mt.r the postothce. and
want you to sign this petition" -.
Brown (signing it)-''Whrn 20,
want groceries You know whore to r.
til. NJ. OF co,lrSv.'
FIRST Cilizcn-''You bet l do. OF
man."
Second Citizcn-Mr Brown, l'n
after the p~o>t"tlics. and l want you !
sign this petition"
Brown (.iyning D-"Whcn yo'
want anything in tho grocery limo yo
know where to CALF"
Second Ci,izcn-.Yes. stree. bctci,e
yer life l do"
81 jackson. Il colored Granger Twin
on Oaion Creek. was going abuu
grumb.ing and growing. wnon it q,
cured t0 Macuelh Summons. y Whit
nrighbor. 10 ask him what was tn
matter.
"Dis heah am Il nicc 'rangcmcnt wi
my mewel."
NV mats tho matter with your mulee
"What's do matter? lied him cher
day during dc whole OBJ las, mum
when ] didn't hab muffin for him IL
do, and he ate aud alto rs much us b
wanted ter"
.'Wcll. what has lu doncp"
what mas h" done? Yosterda
harness him up aud put him ter piou
in dar he was dead, sab. Yes, dsa
as Jupiter Cesar. sab. Dat new,
j. had y good time OBJ hit. ! wouldn
mind being q newell myself. under deI
Tag auspioeA"-Zszds SV6n0a