Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1886-02-19

4 q "
be swear any, or have the stove tip
over on his toe? & ..1 ..ss,5'.
no, he didn't use q single swear
word!'' q: s5 4, ,s#s !. Nh .
Next door neighbor lectured her
husband about it; she told neighbour
on the other side. Next neighbor told
her husband. Husband No. / circu-
lated it in the lodge room that night.
Husband No. 2 dittoed to the usual
clique of savans who nightly cluster
around the little stove in the rear oi
the post Office. s.- . n. .s5Hs 2 " ~ d
''Put the stove up in twenty seven
minutes; found all the legs; pipe all
there; didn't swear a lick!". exclaimed
Old Squire Sile~rtop, as he emphasize
ed every clause with a swing Of the
poker, and then gave the fire q dig
that made it see stars, or rather
sparks. ~ OIL
You're sure he didn't swear, eh?''
doubtingly.
"Well, there's his hired man, ask
him." said someone.
John swore to the truth of the state.
ment!
.s'''That's the kind of a man we want
in our politics OF to-day. A reformer,
who begins at home. reforms himself
before he looks for the mote, political
or otherwise. in his neighbours eye.
Now that man is going to make his
mark fore LONG,! mark my words. he'll
be assessor Or county clerk or govern
or, or something else, fore we're much
older. He's, the coming ,ian!'
To speak OF a reformer nowadays is
to invite opposition. The mere men
ton Of that ill-fated word knocks
many an otherwise consistent man
politically silly. Hence, hostility,
nay, war soon pushes it's "wrinkied
front" to view, and the boom is On.
:'It is my opinion, said a voice that
occupied the coal scuttle and was 9th
erwise distinguished by long, gray
whiskers and q briarwood pipe, st
! my opinion that that teller done that
to attract attention. He's advertis-
ing himself, he is. O, he's cute
'un."
'1'll bet cigars for the crowd that
you can't. put up a stove without
swearin'. And if you've got your
stove in yet, this season, you've been
guilty of some mighty tall cussin'."
swell, l did put mine up last Thurs
day, and everything went all right till
a leg slipped out that I had put in
four times, and the thing careeped
over and caught my thumb gin the
wall. Jerusalam, how it did hurt;
and tell you 1jest had to lett out. -
"Well," said the Squire, "the man
has set good example, and I'm 60
in to give him credit for it. Now
that's mel and he hit the stove an
other whack over the head.
The lodge was late letting out that
night, and the club in the post office
smoked itself into invisibility over the
new wonder; but the hero OF the hour
sat quietly at home, toasting his feet
and eating grapes.
The next morning he .awoke to find
himself famous. Hesoon passed from
local to metropolitan, aye cosmopoli-
tan notority, for he became the topic
OF the clubs, on the streets, in the bar
Der shops, "between acts" at the the
alter; pertinent paragraphs cropped out
in the papers about "the coming
man." "the stove as PLATFORM" "a
Mons swearing campaign" "a reformer
who reformed himself" "the new
party of the hearthstone" The AS
sociated Press forwarded it to the
leading papers, who commented on
the truly wonderful event 1t was
cabled across the ocean, and the
London Shiverer announced in pom
de:ous article that "a hitherto un-
known quantity has been brought to
light in America it the shape OF 8, man
who kept control of his temper under
what is considered the most trying or
deal known to MANTLE putting up
of Il stove. He possesses the elements
OF q reformer that. certainly bespeak
fine presidential timber. "*
Newspaper reporters hastened to
sharpen their pencils preparatory to
sounding their victim about new issues
and "keynotes' and other viscera OF
the body polite.
Possibly it would be well to follow
the ''new quantity to the morning
that he wakes up and finds himself in
famous, or sentenced to congress, or
something; for his friends" willsee to
it that the new discovery is made a
political factor.
That hitherto happy home will soon
be surrounded by bowling mobs and
blaring bands, for the novelty loving
American people will have q 'new
rage" it will be like Colonel Sellers
"Eyewater'-"the more they take, the
more they'll want" ~
Roller Kinks will take back seat!
Some day the poor man will posi-
bly, wish that he .had--'.''just alittle"
and saved his reputation! for only
too soon will sanguinary editors "let
slip the dogs Of war" upon him.