Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-07-14
WIT AND HUMOR.

'ENA, MICH, WEDN
WIT AND HUMOR.
An appropriate dress for the ex-
Observation-Disclosures
1t is no reflection upon yacht to
accuse her Of beating.-Albany Ar
gus.
Educated tramps are rare. They
always say; 81 seen some wood"
They never put it, 81 saw some wood" "
-Ex.
81 will flea the place" remarked
the strange dog, as he prepared to
make his home with farmer.-Mer-
chant Traveller.
A new soprano has appeared in
Paris who bears the name of Marina
and an excellent name it is-eminent-
ly suggestive of the high Cs.-Min.
nesota Tribune.
Watering place girls-those Oh
their ninth annual summer resort
tour, and still unmarried-are very
fond of witnessing match games
New Orleans Picayune.
"Why don't our young men come
to the front?" asks the Advocate
Well, we don't know what keeps them
back unless it is the high price of the
reserved seats.-Burdette.
An undertaken in London has
struck out an original line in an
nouncing his funerals in the following
terms: "Why live and be miserable
when you can be buried for eS 1Os?
-Ex.
"This is very healthy place" oh
served a boarding mistress. "Yes-
for Chickens" said u boarder, 81 hav,
been here two years and haven't seer
a dead one yet" She took the hint
-Ex.
"What power will the Prohibition
lists exert in the coming political cam
paign ?" asks an exchange. Well, i
they are true to their principles, il
will be water power.-Norristowr
Herald.
Seaside observers say the dude il
Just as fresh when he comes out o.
salt water as if he had never gon,
into it. There are some persons who
expect that salt water is a cure fol
everything. They are unreasonable
Boston Courier.
The Indian chief Gall, who assist
ed in the Custer massacre, has taker
some of the survivors over the field
and explained to them how it was
done. The red gentleman appears tC
be appropriately named.-The Hat
chet.
Customer (entering unexpectedly
$50, sir, I've caught you putting
water in the milk"
Milkman: "Yes-er-no-tha is, sir
I'm only washing it. You dom
'spose I'm going to serve my custom
ers with dirty milk, do you ?'-Ex.
Julia, y,u sat up with young
Adolphus till nearly twelve last night.
eyes, mamma" at was quite chill
ly. Weren't you cold?' "No, nam
ma" "Was there any fire in the
room? ?" "A mere spark, mamma.
Chicago Rambler.
1t is said that the colored people o.
the United States maintain more Sc
cret and benevolent societies than any
other people on the face of the globe
There would seem to be nothing re
markable about that, however, for il
is natural for colored people to keeI
dark Boston Post.
Horace, why don't you sit down
You've been standing there for over
an hour"
"Cawn't sit down, Fweddie. Going
to the reception, you know"
"Well, what of that? It's early
yet"
"Just had my trowsers cweased
Fweddie. Do you think I've s-s-soft
ening Of the bwain ?"-Life.
"I's never gwinter 60 out serenad.
ing any moah," said Sam Johnsing
Whats de matter ?" 81 twanged
de guitah for two mortal hours under
de windy oh Miss Matildy SNOWFALL
den de windy opened and dat yallel
moke Jim Webster stuck his head
out and said: Much obleeged, but
yer can go home now.' | owns ur
Jat I,s hao;nn;,,, 20. ,,ot J;ooon,o, ,.o1 ,