The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-10-23
HOWELL COBB'S JOKE.
BUCHANAN OUTWlTTEO BY HIS SEC
RETARY OF THE TREASURY.

A Trial Trip Of the Harriet Lane which
SoreIy Yexed the President-An Item
lied Bill Of Expenses-Cobb Surprises
the Old Squire"
The last Democratic president James
Buchanan had his own idea as TO the use
Of our public vessels, and a story was pub
lishGd many years ago Of how this idea
cost Howell Cobb, his secretary OF the
treasury, nice little sum. 1t was at the
time Of the launching and trial trip OF a
revenue cutter which had been made IN
der CobD's direction and named after Bu-
chanan's niece The Harriet Lane" Cobb
concluded that on this trial trip Of the
new vessel he would invite the cabinet,
the foreign legations, the president, and
others Of his acquaiutances TO take a sail
with him down the Potomac. He made all
his arrangements without saying q word
20 the president, and the matter was
pretty well advanced before Buchanan
heard of it. When it first came TO his ears
odd Buck" sent for his attorney general,
Jere Back, and Black, when he came to
the White House, found Buchanan flushed
with anger. As Black entered he said:
Are you going on this BANKED frOlic2 l
would like To know what you think of
private entertainments"
Attorney General Black replied that ho
was not going on the Harriet Lane trip,
and though he did not like to criticise
COb', still ne was not backward in saying
tn ne did not approve of it. But" con-
tilued he, Mr.. President, Cobb has gone
on with this affair and issued his invita-
tons and 1 don't see what you can do
about it
do about it! Why of course l will stop it.
It is a scandaIous affair and [ Will not ba
held responsible for it. l certainly will not
allow it to go on"
WANTED "AN TENTED BILL"
Black then placed before Buchanan ths
probability that Cobb thought he was do
ing nothing wrong when he was making
the arrangements, and the fact that if he
stopped the affair now it would cause a
great deal of scandal both in this country
and abroad as the foreign ministers had
been invited.
Buchanan appreciated this, and finally
said that he thought that he would let
Cobb 20 on if he wanted to and he would
pay all the expenses out Of his own pocket.
The excursion did go on, but neither the
president nor Attorney General Black
were present. At the first cabinet meeting
after it Buchanan said to Cobb: "AIr. Sec
rotary, [ want you TO bring me an item
lied Dill of the expenses incurred during
the trial trip Of the Harriet Lane. L want
a detailed account of eyerything-the coal
consumed, the salary of the officers the
wages of the seameu, and the cost Ofevery
bit of supplies used on the trip"
Cobb did not know what to make Of this
demand, but he replied quietly: Ger
tainly, Mr.. President, will do So"
ha
ended, and Howell Cobb and Jere Black
walked down from the White House to-
gether. When they had gotten opposite
where the attorney generals office Is now,
Cobb, who had been silent up TO this time,
burst fOrth:"What in thunder does the old
squire mean?"
Black made no reply, and Cobb went on:
You know what he means, and know
you do, and now 1 want you to tell me-
frankly what he is up tot"
Black then related his conversation with
Buchanan, and concluded with the state
ment that Buchanan had asked for the
bill in order that he might pay it out of
his own pocket.
Howell Cobb always whistled when he
was surprised, and he now gave loud,
Iong-continued whistle and said: THAT is
what the old squire is up to, is it? Well,
l VIII see whether l can surprise him"
A SURPRISE FOB TIE PRESIDENT.
1t this point the conversation dropped,
and Black and Cobb went on to the treas
ury, Every once and awhile Cobb would
repeat his whistle, and as Black left him
he heard the whistle coming out Of the
treasury door as Cobb entered. The next
cabinet day came, and with it came Cobb,
who seemed to be the happiest man of the
council. The president looked glum,
but Cobb was cracking his jokes at every
body. The business of the meeting was at
last concluded, and the secretaries had
arisen to take their departure, when
Buchanan turned to Cobb and said rather
sharply: Mr.. Secretary, where is that
bill?"
Cobb assuming an innocent air,
answered: What bill do you mean. Mr..
President"
Il mean the bill of expenses for the
trial trip of the Harriet Lane" answered
Buchanan sternly, "have you got it with
youg"
oh that bill, " said Cobb; "yes, believe
1 have it somewhere about my Clothes"
and hereupon Cobb fumbled first in one
pocket and then in another, and finally
drew out piece of crumpled paper which
he handed to the president with: Il guess
that is it
Mr.. Buchanan took it and looked over it
item by item. His face was full of disgust
as he read, and he seemed to look daggers
into the paper until he reached the end,
when he almos5 jumped to his feet as he
exclaimed: why it is receipted-paid in
full by Howell Cobb"
and who in thunder should have paid
it but Howell Cobb" broke in Cobb with
an AR of injured innocence, lit was my
holic. VINO should have paid for it,"
Sure enough! sure enough" was all
that Buchanan said. But he frightened
up at once, and in a short time became as
merry as Cobb had been at the beginning
of the session. Cobb and Black went
away from the White House together, and
as they were going down the steps into
the yard, Cobb said: Didn't l come it over
the old squire that uime?"-"Carp' in
Cleveland Leader.
Effects of NTOIasses Bath.