The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1886-07-19


How Some Married Women so to Sleep,
Exchange.
There Is an article going the rounds en-.
titled "How the Girls Go to Sleep" The
manner in which they 20 to sleep, accord.
ing to the article, can't hold q candle to
the way q married woman goes to sleep.
Instead Of thinking what sho should
have attended to before going to bed, she
thinks Of 1t aiterward. While she is re.
volving these matters in her mind, and
while snugIy tucked up iu bed, the old
man ia scratching his head In front OF the
fire and wondering how he will pay the
next months rent, Suddenly she ex-
claims:
"James, did you lock the doorp"
(which door," says James.
"The cellar door," says she.
"No," says james.
"Well, you had bettor 20 down and
lock 1t, for l heard some one in the back
yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down the
stairs and locks the door. About the time
James returns and Is going to bed she re.
marks:
"Did you shut the stair. door,"
mo" says James.
"Well, il it is not shut the cat will get
up into the chamber"
"Let her come up, them" says James,
i~ll.naturedly.
"My goodness, no!' returns his wife,
she'd suck the baby's breath"
Then James paddles down-stairs again
and oteps on a tack, and closes the stair.
door, and curses the cat, and returns to
the bedroom. Just rs no begins to climb
into his couch hiS wife observes:
II forgot to bring up some water. Sup.
pose you bring up some in the big TIM"
And 80 James, with a muttered curse,
goes down into the dark kitchen and falls
over O chair and rNspa all tho tinWare of
the wall in search Of the "big" tin, and
then jerks the stair door open and bowls:
"Where the deuce arc tho matches"
She gives him minute directions where
10 find the matches, and adds that she
would rather 60 and get the water herself
than have the whole neighborhood raised
about 1t. After which James ends the
matches, procures the water, and comes
upstairs and plungeB into bed.
Presently his vito says: flames, let's
have an understanding about money mat
tiers. Now, next week I've got 10 pay"
" don't know what you'll have to pay
and don't care" shouts James, 90 he
lurches around and jana his face against
the wall, "all l want Is sleep."
"That's all very well for you" snaps his
vile, as she pulls the covers yiCiously;
"you never think ofthe worry aud trouble
l have. And there Is Araminta, who, l
believe, 10 taking the measles"
"Let her take EN-" says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the tim0 James Is falling Into a
gentle dozs she punches him In the ribs
| with her elbow and says:
ibid you hear that scandal about Mrs.
Jones?"
Where" says James, sleepily.
"Why, Mrs. Jones'"
"Where2 2" inquired James.
II declare" said bis wife, "you are get
ting more stupid every day. You know
Mrs. Jones that lives at No. 22P Well, day
before yesterday Susan Smith told Mrs.
Thompson thai! Sam Barker had said that
Mrs. Jones had"
Here she paused and listened. James
Is snoring in profound slumbcr. With a
snort Of rage she pulls all the covers of
him, wraps up in them, and lies awake
until 2 A. NJ. thinking how badly used
she Is.
And that ia the way some married wo-
men 60 to BlCep.