davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03
EXPONENIE OF SPASMODIO Re-
IIGION.

! The two greatesb living exponenta
ESQ they believe) Of spasrnodic religion
are Sam Jones and SAM Small. They
have been holding forth at Red Rock
Camp during the past week. Although
they have met the devil, in several
pitched battles we have not heard shat
they have saken 81 tsfiz'' out of his. Stt-
tanic Majesty.
The fact Of the matter is. sensible
Professionals are beginning TO weary Of
gospel pedetlers like the "SSanas," and it
is only the cast-iron gall of these men
that keep them up at ALL Just fancy a
man like Sam Small, bnought up
among The hiAls and rills OF Georgia,
and who never saw anything superior to
school-hosse magic-lantera show or q
circus attempting to point oszt to inteili~
gent, artistic people, the injurious ef-
fects of the theatre.
Again, pure and undetiled religion
should not have for all exponent man
Of the foul-mouthed habits of Sam
Jones, who, when he expectorates the
juice Of that filthy weed, tobacco, will do
50, even in a parlor independent of the
use Of a cuspidore. From such men
and the free-and-easy doctrine they
preach we will turn Episcopalian just
long enough to exclaim : '1l&&ood Lord
deliver u.s.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

The British Premier was worthy of
them. We refer to three cheers pro-
posed for him by the Irish party i'll the
hour of his defeat, when the vote was
announced declaring that the second
reading Of the Home Rule bill was de-
feated by majority Of thirty. The
Tory cheer was over, and deep silence
prevailed when T.. 2. O'Connor called
for three cheers for the repulsed hero.
They were given with will; rush
and roar of sound, clear, resonant and
defiant, pea!ed up through the legisla-
tive chamber, a harbinger and signal OF
promise. AS they died out Mr.. Healy
bade Mr.. Gladstone remember Freder-
ick Douglass words that Zone with
God is a majority" What an enduring
monument the aged statesman is build
ing for himself in the memory Of the
Irish people.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

One of hfr.. Sexton's happiest Fgits in
h5s famous reply to MIR. chamberlain s
s,ttac}z on the tHome Rule bill WAS the
estimate Of the, Birmingham Radical S
capacity for craftsmanship. Mr..
Chamberlain, said Mr.. Sezston. ''fonnd
a suitable occupation in therespecbable
if not dazzling sphere of mayor OF Biz
nlimgham. Nature intended the right
hoaorable gentleman to be ;nmayor. He
is intellectually mayor still.n The
members of the Commons reared; with
laughter for sorre minutes; aald no
1vor:Iar
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

THE IRISH STANDARD is the only Home Rule
organ in the Northwest.
Copies Of The IRISH STANDARD will be or
sale at the principal news-stands in this city
and by news boys.
Advertising rates will be made known by ap
9iying at this Office.
When writing matter for publication in TIE
Ih1sH STANDARD be sure and Sign your proper
name, not necessarily for publication, but rs
guarantee Of good faith.
l4atters Of interest 20 the readers OF Ifks
iHisu STANDARD will always receive the care
sul attention of the editor, and will be published
at our earliest convenience.
In every instance correspondents will please
he as brief az possible.
10 Insure publication in the following issue
OF THE IRISH Standard contributions should
reach this Office at least by Wednesday noon.
subscribers will please De careful in giving IL:
their perfect address, and thus avoid any corn
plaint through failure to receive their paper
In changing your place Of residence, notify
us Immediately of the fact, and forward your
fu.i name, giving number and name Of street
tn which YOU have removed, also your former
Address.
AL letters addressed 70 Is Manager lRFsF1
STANDARD, 42 Third Street South, Room 20,
will receive immediate attention..
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

EVERY Catholic in the city of Min
neapo}is should make it "a point to be
present at the laying of the cornerstone
of the Catholic Orphan Asylum next
Sunday afternoon. BY so dcing they
Ill prove to. other denominations and
the country at large that they always
keep at the front Of the procession in
anything partaking Of a charitable na-
ture. All excellent cut of the proposed
structure Wilt be found i'm anotheF COL
ugan of The IRISH STANDARD.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03
CHUROHILI's ABUSE OF' MIR. GLAD
STONE.

OF all the things that has been laid at
the door of Lord Randolph Churchill
we fail to remembers any from which it
could be inferred that he was 8 gentle
man. No one expects any raore from
him than the cheek and impotence con-
tained in his manifesto. 1t is quite III
harmony with the character of the indi~
vidual. Its tone resembles Tie barking
and snarling of cowardly, impudent
cur. He talks of ''the caprice Of an indi-
yidual Mr Gladstone] elevated to dig
nifty by an act of the people,
Lord Randolph should not allow the
fact to escape his memory that the moral
characters of many of his ancestors were
not above suspicion, and like the rest Of
the Marlboroughs he owes the little dig
nifty or title he has to the 'caprice" OF
an abandoned woman. Men like Church
ill should be the last to make light Of
any person, let alone the British Pre-
mier who has gained the love OF his own
people at home and profound respect
wherever the English language is
spoken by his upright and honorable
course through life. Mr.. Gladstone's
memory will be honored and revered
by future generations when the aristo-
cratic ill-begotten bones OF Randolph
Churchill will be rotting in the grave,
and being devoured by plebeian worms.
But MIR. Gladstone. personally, is not
subjected to the whole of Randolph's
ruffianly abuse. He describes the Home
Rule bill as ..insane, traf6cking in rea-
aon, condoning crime, exalting in dis
loyalty, abasing loyalty, and a monstrous
mixture OF imbecility, extravaganza and
political Mysteries. He ridicules tine
anticipated beneficial results from the
bill. and aiiirms that ';the united and
concentrated genius Of Bedlam and Con-
ley Hatch would strive in vain to pro-
duce more striking tissue of absurdi-
ties than those gravely recommended by
senile vanity to a people renowned for
common sense"
Such language is not likely to impress
the electors with any other belief than
that Churchill is minded, debased
man. The London News in comment
| ing on it says : ''We may we'll ask Mr..
Chamberlain whether he is prepared to
commit the destinies Of the country to
this political spirit. The manifesto is
as insulting to Ireland as to Mr.. Glad
stone, and is such an expression Of
party passion as is happily unusual in
English politics. 4.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

AN explosion occurred Tuesday in ths
House OF Commons. Everything was
done by the officials in charge of the
building to conceal the fact. 1t leaked
iout, however, but in false forms. and
the most exaggerated and sensational
rumors about Irish plots and dynamite
outrages got into circulation. The
truth was made known Wednesday
The explosion resulted from pent-uI
sewer gas.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03
MR, GLADsT0NE AT IIYERPOoL.

On Monday afternoon Mr.. Gladstone
addressed the electors OF the city oi
Liverpool in HeDgler's circus. The
cable reports that he was received with
perfect ovation, the circus being crowded
TO it's utmost capacity. II is stated that
fully 5000 people were present, while
hundreds Of people unable to gain ad-
mittance crowded around the outside.
Mr. Gladstone did not stretch the truth
when he stated that the enthusiasm in
favor Of Home Rule surpassed anything
lie had ever seen In his life. He did not
fear the financial superiority OF his op-
ponents, and he looked forward to the
result of the elections with confidence
He attacked the act of the union be-
tween Great Britain and ireland. Speak
ing OH this subject at length, he alluded
to the Infamous methods by which that
union was brought about. On this
point he was very plain-spoken, and re-
viewed the negotiations from the time
they commenced until they were finally
brought to climax by declaration of
union. 1t is pleasing te note that every
allusion he nlades;to the champions of
the old Irish Parliament was received in
the most enthusiastic manner by the au
dience. With regard to the land pur-
chase bill he leaves himself free here
after to drop or rehandle the question
just as circumstances and the necessl-
ties OF the case may require. This was
as near as he could go after previous
speeches toward the announcement that
Irish landlords will never again receive
from the Premier the terms they refused
in 1886. There is every reason to be-
heve that such is &, decision Of the ma
iority Of the cabinet including the
Premier himself. 1t became very evil
dent after the first few moments that
these thousands Of representative Eng
lishmem present, most OF whom ''came to
laugh" and with strong pre51ldices
against tie. Isish policy, were completely
won over by the Premier and will here
after be consistent and faithful wopkers
in the Home Rule cause. Deafening
cheers greeaed his noble words, '~We
want to hold Ireland by ]ove.'' They
went straight to every honest heart,
English and Scotch alike.
In the course of Giadstone's spesch
Mn. T. P. O'CSnnor's efforts in connec-
tioI, with the election in England were
pointedly mentioned, ana O'Connor se-
ferned to as 81 distinguished Irishman
and one of the most atMe members OF
the: Nationalist party.
Mr.. O'Connor in his cable says:
CATER the gathering I 1net and talked
with Michael DaHitt, and asked what he
thought as to the prospects Of the cleo
tion. He replied that he had spoken to
one Of the leading liberal organizers on:
The subject, and was told that reliable
reports had enabled him to calculate, !
that Gladstone's followers III the new
Parliament would be in majority of
81. He, Davitt. had no reason to dis
Dute the accuracy OF this estimate
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

THE IRISH STANDARD would have it
distinctly understood that nothing of
an Objectionable nature will be admit
ted to it's columns either as an ataver-
tisement or as reading matter. It aims
at doing its mite towards elevating the
moral tone Of the newspaper profession.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

then approached the altar, and kneeling.
the beretta was placed on his head. He
then assembled the front of the tabernacle
and gave thanks, after which he went tc
the sacristy and assumed the habili-
ments OF his high Office. Returning to
the sanctuary he again gave thanks and
the interesting ceremony closed. The
music CT the mass was Of high order
and perfect stiffness prevailed during
the entire ceremonies.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

CAPTAIN OSHEA. the solitary excef,.
tion to the solidarity Of the Nationalist
members of Parliament, has placed his
resignation as member for Galway in
the hands of his constituents. The
celebrated Sir Boyle Roche would re-
mark concerning this g that it we're
much better had he resigned before he
was aleeted.n
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

THE IR1sH SnAMDARD of next week
will contain veny accurate and full &C.
count of the proceedings surrounding
the ceremonies; Of laying the corner
stone of the Catholic Orphan asylum.
A large extra edition will be published
for the benefit Of many of otlp subscrib-
ems and others, who may desine to send
copies to friends.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

WE notice chat Miss Hattie Paul, as
sociate editor of the Memphis Daily
Scimitar, IS writing some able ARTICLES
on the Irish question. Miss Paul is one
of the very few ladies who keep Them
selves posted on current affairs.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

The boy James Curran, whom the
Orangemen, after desperate struggle
no doubt, succeeded in drowning, was
only Is years Of age. What brave men
the Orangemen of Ulster are!
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

The National League in Dublin is
performing excellent work by publish
ing a series of sharp, concise tracts on
some of the most important topics
which are now occupying the attention
oftthe public mind. The fifth of the
series and latest is by j. J. Clancy, NJ.
F., and is entitled the Orange Bogey'
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

THOMAS SEXTON will again contest
the West Belfast electoral district. He
was beaten ins the general election last
November by only a couple of dozen
votes, and success is quite probable.
The National plant is daily thriving in
ine Northern Province.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03
ClAuANcE A. FaRNCII, ESQ.,; ;.of the
Monticello Times, called Oh las Tuesday,

So rs to preclude the possibility OF
being accused Of ingratitude the man
agement of The: IRISH SrA&DAED
take this opportunity of thanking
those agents who, forwarded us, during
past two weeks SO many new subscrih-
ers. ct might be- further mentioned
that each day adds many new names TO
the list.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

In our hurry last week to present a
full account of the Rochester conven-
ton to our readers, the sermon of
Father Riordan was allowed to go to
press without having first passed
through the hands of the proof reader,
and conseqnen tly several mistakes es-
capped correction. 1t shall not happen
again.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

In recent issue of the st. Louis
Catholic World the following eompl:-
mentary remarks towards the A. O.
H. appear: 'sThe Ancient Order OF
Hibernians of the United States which
i1aa been in session several days, con-
cluded it's thirty-6ftt annual conven-
tion in st. Paul not long since. The
outcome Of the meeting was most salts
factory, and must 80 a long way TO-
wards winning for it it's just due, viz,
the full appreciation Of every Catholic
prelate in the land. One thing is par
ticularly deserving of mention. Prior
to the assembling Of the national con-
yention, Bishop Ireland sent a letter to
the State officers in which he laid down
certain diocesan rules to which the
Order should accede in order to be rec
ognized By the bishop. The honorable
manner in which the Order manifested
it's obedience cannot be too highly
praised. tits grand headline for all
organizations of Catholics. a new, era
of usefulness is dawnlng for it,, "A good
thing is bound to win It's way. Other
societies which we might mention
would find food for reflection in the
above honorable action of the A. O. H
One thing this proves. An Irish Cath
olic society may always be moulded ac-
cording as the Church directs. For
obedience to Church authority is their
national trait. Like priest like peo-
ple' is true here as everywhere. Again
we say, good for the A. 0. H."
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

THE Belfast riots are already bearing
good fruit. People can now see whether
it is the Orange or Green that symbol
ICES the belligerent element of Ireland.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

JOHN MORLEY, as Chief Secretary of
Ireland, should be held in high esteem
by all Irish Nationalists. He deals out
justice with self-reliant hand.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

PARNHLL addressed a large meeting
at Wrexham on Wednesday. :.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

MR.. GLADSTONE is suffering frem
hoareness, and has gone to Hawardea
to rest.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

A1Tot4ErHgR> 523 Gladstonian alld
556 Unionist candidates are in the field
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03
Hare are a Few Of Ny Choice Bargaiuz that
are as. Qhean as a. Broom

Lots on Thirty,second and. Thirty-third svc-.
Third Ward Park, at prices 20 suit yOureelf. '-A
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

Will sell you lot ON Lyndale and Twenty.
fourth avenue north, 50x155, for $l.5oO.
The Irish standard., 1886-07-03

s|lsI|,|s
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-02-13

II amt got enough sense to vote
at ward election remarked old
Isom, yesterday. why ~ asked a
bystander. yer sec, q niger what
keeps bacon store at de udder end
oh town give fifty cents premium on
a silver dollar made last year. / TUX
a dollar wild de correck date. an,
goin' to de store, handed it ter him,
and tole him ter gin me de premium.
He looked at de dollar, handed me
fifty cents and dropped it in de
drawn. / TUX de fifty cents an
come on up town. | have just dis
kivered dat Use out fifty cents.
repeats that ! amt got sense enough
ter vote, an de Newnited States can
hab my freedom back at any time de
secretary of war will notify me OBJ
dat fack. "-Lattte Rock Gazette
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-02-13
Hope.

1t stole on its pinions of snow to
a bed of disease, and the sufferers
frown became q smile--emblem Of
peace and endurance. 1t went to
the house of mourning, and from the
lips of sorrow there came sweet and
cheering songs. IT laid its hand
upon the arm of the poor man, which
was stretched forth at the command
of unholy impulses, and saved him
from disgrace and ruin. 1t dwelt
like living thing in the bosom of
the mother whose son tarried long
after the promised time of his COM
ing, and saved her from the desola-
ton and the scare that killeth.u 1t
lowered about the head ofthe youth
who had become the Ishmael Of
society, and led him on to deeds
which even his enemies praised. 1t
snatched maiden from the Jaws of
death, and went with an old man to
heaven. Hope on, good brother.
Have it; reckon it on your side.
Wrestle with it that it may not de-
part; it may repay your pains. Life
is hard enough at best, but Hope
shall lead you safely over its noun
tains and sustain you while bufeting
its stormy pillows. Part with all
else beside, but cling to Hope.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-02-13
scooPINe A MASKED BATTERY.
How the pawncc Happened to Escape an
Unpleasant Christmas Present.


aYes,n said well known naval officer in
town, Il did have remarkable Chris tmas
Day; it was Dec. IS, 1861
II was the executive officer Of the Pawnee,
and we were in the Stone river, anchored off
a place called lie Gareville On Christmas
Eve went TO Capt. Balch and asked him
whether could not take the ship down 10
Stono's island. so as to give the officers who
were there stationed a chance to have
good Christmas dinner They belonged TO
Gen Gimore's command, and | knew well
how they would have appreciated such
kindness
"Capt Balch said All right, but we
must take the ship down after dark, SO that
the rebels won't see us
"Stono's island was only seven miles down
the river, and il was not long before we
were anchored there, and making every
preparation for a jovial spread.
Before daybreak on Christmas morning
we were all startled by the sound Of heavy
firing IN the direction from whence we had
come. and soon realized that the Confedat
ates were peppering the Marblehead. The
brave little boat was receiving the FIRE Of
sixteen pieces Of artillery, supported by n
strong infantry force
Running into the Stone river and right
Opposite Johns island was creek, and as
we came sailing up the river noticed this
creek and also observed that IL we could
run the Pawnee into il we could enillade
masked battery which was situated ON the
point of land between the creek and the
river
Captain, | said, il we do get in therc
there is one thing sure, they can't sink us
eco ahead, replied the captain; do as
you say,
sAs we came abreast OF the creek, down
went the ships helm, and in we ran, high
and dry and commanding the rear of the
batteries Two broadsides settled the bat.
terry They did not wait for any more and
began to timber up their guns and hurry
away When they left we went ashore and
captured two sea-coast eightinch howitzers,
We were also assisted by the Will
Jams, mortar schooner. You can under
stand how hard the fighting was when tell
you that the Marblehead was struck no less
than thirty times Our work was then 10
get the Pawnee Off from where she was stuck.
Thus you see we lost our Christmas dinner.
"Capt Balch was highly praised for this
service. He was officially thanked, and the
orders were read on every quarter deck Of
the fleet
captain, II was travelling on the railroad
toward Charleston when ] asked of man
who was sitting next me what river it was
we were passing over
"sThe Stone, he replied.
"'Great Scott shouted, looking ouI
through the window; lis chat the Stonos'
"'What do you know It'll! asked the
stranger
"'Guess so, / remember it well In the latt
unpleasantness,' was my response. Il wAs
the executive officer of the Pawnee, and
helped to scoop that battery
eyes, and was the captain of one Of the
batteries DO you know we had for mon chs
been planning that battle. We intended to
sink you ON Christmas morning, but for
some unexplainable reason you left, and the
Marblehead received your Christmas pres.
emit San Francisco Call
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-02-13
An Act ofyengeance.
HOW ENRAGED MONKEYS ExTERMINAT-
ED HUGE BOA CONSTRUCTOR.

HOW ENRAGED MONKEYS ExTERMINAT.
ED A HUGE BOA CONSTRUCTOR,
The boa has not merely oftimes
been mastered by man, but by much
inferior beings. An officer stationed
at Kalladgee, in India, was once
climbing a rocky hill, when he and
q native who accompanied him wit
messed the following episode: A
poor monkey was being slowly en-
wrapped in the voluminous folds OF
an enormous boa, its bones break.
ing like pipe-stems by the pressure.
Gradually the reptile unwound itself,
leaving crushed unacceptable
mass. The numerous monkeys on
the rock were in the greatest state
OF excitement, running wildly about,
gesticulating, chattering and moan
ing, though, of course, powerless to
help their comrade. While the snake
was commencing its gorge and before
its body began to fill and swell. the
officer and native went in quest Of q
stout cudgel and sharp knife, ex-
pecting to make it an easy prey as
soon as it should be filed to reple-
ton. When they returned to the
scene of strife, the boa aythorough-
ly gorged, beneath n projecting mass
of cliff, looking more like log than
anything more lively. On the sum-
nit above a troop of monkeys were
assembled, and three or four of the
largest and strongest were occupied
in displacing a massive fragment of
rock, already loosened by the rains
from the main ledge BY enormous
exertion--made, too, with silence
quite unusual to monkeys-they at
length succeeded in pushing the
rock until it trembled just over the
boa's head; then, uttering yell of
triumph, they dropped it over the
miniature precipice. 1t struck the
boa on the head, MASKING it to jelly.
As its great tail lashed about inef-
fectually in its last struggle, there
was chorus Of xultation-man
joining his near relative, five believe
some of our nstructors-over this
well-accomplished act of vengeance.
Good Words.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-02-13

Kit Carson was to me hero in his way,
and / brought his name before the people
after 1t had almost been forgotten in my
admiration for him while he was serving
with Fremont But as often happens in
such and similar cases, some unkindly peo-
pie made the illiterate and simple old man
believe had done him great wrong. They
wrote books about the noble old pioneer
after had lifted him out of tho grave in
Exit Carson's Rides" and so he was greatly
celebrated at last. I trust he died content,
whatever he my have thought Of me or my
work
Speaking Of his death, am reminded that
Ex-Governor Hunt, Of Colorado, called ON
me recently and told me the details OF
"Kit'sp last moments The governor had
been east with the old hero to sea the doc
tors, who told him his days were numbered
They set ont to return, for Kit Carson could
not die in city; he must have room and
air As they climbed the foothills beyond
the Missouri and began to look out over the
vast, roomy plains and to smell the sweet
air of the Rocky mountains far away, like
the foamy pillows the old pioneer lifted
himself up ON his elbows, as he lay on his
pallet in the car, and, reckoning Governor
Hunt to his side, said
"Gov'nor, goy'nor, I'm goin to git welllp
'Goodl Good, Kit OF course You are
going 10 get well. But what makes you 50
certain OF itl'
cause IL smell the prairies"
And that was about the last words Of
hero who | believe would have starved
rather than ask for pay or pension -Joa-
quin Miller's Letter.