Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-08
The Translating Machine.
From Harper's for A uonst.


1t was some years ago, when type writers
were just being introduced, and one of them
had been placed on trial in the office of lead
ing life insurance company OF which was an
employe. Having reached the office at an
early hour, anxious to finish some work which
had annoyed me for some time. fairly seated
at my desk, was suddenly Interrupted by
the Janitor. who informed me that there were
parties DESTROYS of taking a look at the office.
Sure enough, and there they came four IN
number-two LADIES' and two gentlemen-saIl-
ing down the office toward my desk
Who were theyg Well. the names of the
men might readily have been Moses, Levi,
Abraham, or Isaac. They must have been in
the clothing business. and their appearance
reminded one forcibly that it must have been
a secondhand clothing business at that The
ladies-ah, the lAdies they were adorned
with diamonds, rings and gold chains; wore
dresses OF expensive material, poorly made
and i'll fitting.
The spokesman-a little bit of q man. all
nose-ln voice which was as shrIll as 1t was
thin, addressed nae: II am 'ntsch ured here,
and dees is my brodher-in-law from New
York und his wife und dauder dell dem
dees building is schost so goot as dose wat liz
in New 1ork, und want you to have de kind
Illness to show dem abOud."
There was nothing to be done but to show
them about. At first, rather ANNOYED. I NAV
have betrayed my dlspleasure, but soon
warmed to my task, followed from desk TO
desk and room to room by the quartette, an
swering, as cheerfully as the Giro umstanres
would permit. the various connundrums thew
propounded. Very soon nv visitors bepan
chatting among themselves (they probably
mad run dry their stock of inquirles,) and
now, to my great amusement, conyersed in
German-a German tlnged by an accent which
had Its origin in Palestine.
Finally we reached the room in which was
placed the type writer, and then it was that
casually observed: "Have YOU ever seen a
transating machine?" The answer being
quite unanimous in the negative, explained
that IL only some one present were conyeraant
foreign Tongue. min h.
dictated In English, and translated by the ma
chine into any desired language, Encouraged
by llrm avowal that there was nothing in
the way OF testing the instrument, inasmuch
az all OF them understood German, matters
began TO shape themselves as | had foreseen
Having spent half of my life In Ger
many, fully convereant with the Ian
Each visitor then began in the most polite
manner and deferentlal way to urge upon the
other the naming Of the sentence 10 be trans
lated. After lively debate it was decided
that the spokesman-my little friend with the
preponderance of nose-should PROFOUND
something nice. He cleared his throat, placed
Lhe BACK OF the right hand index finger on
such portion of the left side Of his nose as il
was able to cover, wrinkled his noble brow
looked wise, and said: make him saw dees
In Tscherman: Dees is my brodher in law
Won New FORK; he like dees office very much
und his wife und dauder also find it hne.D
The transating of this sentence into Ger
man. while the group OF stranger, following
my every movement In DfeathleSs suspense,
jumping at every ring of the bell, was accom-
plshed in less time than IL takes to tell IL.
Before submitting the document explained
that was not in the habit OF running the
translator, and probably the blame for any
mistakes, If there were such, would attach to
me rather than to the instrument; that NV
visitors would be able to tell me whether or
not the machine was capable Of performing
what was claimed for 1t. A chorus OF voices
shouted, LET us see; We will dell you" Fear
ing that in facing my guests l mi ght be un-
able TO control my features, and so betray the
Joke, handed the sheet over my shoulder
without turning.
could fairly feel the culver of quickeninp
pulses as my New York friend in n low,
solemn, and awe-stricken voice read what TO
all appeared n most wonderful transforma-
ton Of the English sentence.
dies list mem Schwager aus New York.
nun getaelIt oies Compton sehr gut. und seine
FRAU una Tochter hnden es auch schoon."
For few seconds you might have heard a
PIN drop, but shortly reaction set in, and ex-
CARNATIONS were at discount; they dubbed
forth In two languages: Himmel, grashus,
baprament. oh my, ma nu, grand, Donnerwet-
ter, schblendid, wuhderbar, etc. The privilege
asked and readily granted TO take away the
most orizeless production" with m any a bow.
making mani Ing me again and again ny friends
the ofice door, my New York friend turned
once more and said, "Abrobo, wat does this
lnsehdrument eostf" answered: ut costs
about .l2s.r He declared he would have one
he added, Maybe 1 get some sommischuns
Oh. The ladies bade me a fond fare WI ell, and
my little friepr, pressing my hand. whispered
hoarsely that he would buy Translator as
soon as be could afford IL, but that "pischness
vas bretty quiet sch6ost now" With another
snake Of the hand he saiii "Goot-by; l always
viii remember you NIT great pleascherabio-
ness" and coming close 70 my ear, with a tro-
NOR. IN his voice he expressed tho opinion, az
dsil you vat, y deet dig hafe its existence IN
~aa enc ug4FraeiaW