davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
Where Sarah Was.

A farmer had some wheat stolen,
and he was so sure he knew who the
thief was. that he secured a warrant
for certain young man living near
him. When the case came up for trial
the defendant said he could prove an
alba. In order to do this he had
brought in 'his GIRL" buxom lass of
twenty-five. She took the stand and
swore that he sat up with her from Z
O'Clock in the evening till daylight
next morning.
People can very easily be mis-
taken" observed the plaintiffs lawyer.
Il don't care-I know he was there"
What did you talk aboutp"
Love" she promptly answered.
What time did the old folks 60 to
bed?"
Il give 'em the wink about ten"
Sure he was there at midnight, are
you?"
Yes, sir"
why are you sure?"
She bushed, looked over at her lover
and laughed, and getting nod to go
ahead, she said:
well, sir, as the clock struck twelve
the old man jumped out of bed, up
stairs, and hollered down: Yer ma
wants some of that catnip teal And
we got such start that we broke the
back of the rocking chair kerplump."
Then the jury must understand that
you wsge seated on Samucl's kuees?"
II object, put in Samuels lawyer,
and his honor remembered the days of
his youth and sustained the objection.
Texas SJtings.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
A Mad Parson.

"Good-by for season. count" said
Rev. Joel McWacker, of Tombstone,
shaking hands across the counter in the
office of the palace yesterday.
Are you of for Arizona?" inquired
Count Smith.
mo sir; my destination is Carson,
have been cruelty libcled by The Appeal,
of that place. count, and am going up
too see the editor. He has been SLAM
dering me, sir, and l mean to defend
my sacred character.
mo violence, hope, parsonp'
well, that depends, l can't say till
l have look at the editor, whether it
will be fight or libel suit. But you
can bet your life" cried the good man,
THAT there will be tufts of fur on the
sagebrush for miles around. if he is Of
expedient SIZE. l didn'tlift anvils with
my teeth. and catch cannon balls in a
circus for nothing. Just feel that
biceps, will youP"
The count did as required, and Mr..
McWhacker added
1T is now ten yeas since L shook
the sawdust and returned to the pulpit,
but l have got some muscle left 1t is
universally admitted in Tombstone that
I'm tough man for my weight and
age. The appeal has been digging into
my past life, and the nearer got to
Carson the madden I'll grow. It's my
way. think you may rely upon there
being no libel suit"
And cooking his Ar iona SLOUGH over
his eye, Mr.. McWhacker retired from
the office, an undeniablc swagger TAX
ing the place of the dignified clerical
stalk which the count has been accus-
toned to observe and admire. San
Francisco Post.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

moment In my life was when ] sent word
home TO my parents that had gained the
victory" Aud the proudest and most brilliant
moment In your life will be the moment when
you car send word to your parents that you
have conquered your evil habits by the grace
Of God, and become eternal victor. o, des-
pise not parental anxietyi
The time will come when you will have
neither father nor mother, and you will go
around the place where they used to watch
you, and find them gone from the house, and
gone from the field, and gone from the neigh
borhood. Cry as loud for forgiveness as you
may over the mound In the cnurchyard, they
will not answer. Death! Death And then you
will take out the white lock OF hair that was
cut from your mothers brow just before they
buried her, and you will take the
cane with which your father used
to walk, and you will think and think and wish
that you had done just Us they wanted you to,
thrust o pang through their dear old hearts.
God pity the young man who has brought dis
grace on his fathers namel God pity the
young man who has broken his mothers
heart! Better II he had never been born
better II in the first hour Of his life instead of
being laid against the warm bosom Of mater
nal tenderness he had been coffined and Sc
pulchered. There is no balm powerful enough
TO heal the heart OF one who has brought par
ents to sorrowful grave, and who wanders
about through the dismal cemetery, rending
the hair and wringing the hands, and crying:
''Mother! Mothcrp' D, that to-day by all the
memories of the past, and by all the hopes OF
the future, you would yield your heart to God.
May your fathers God and your mothers
God be your God forever.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
An Electric Storm.

An Irishman. on be .ng asked how he
felt when struck by lightning, replied
that he didn't have time to feel aston
ished. The effect of ctr,city,:: taken
in a milder, and yet not in a very pleas
ant form, has been described by men
who had time to observe it and wit to
report it.
United States geological survey had a
novel and not altogether pleasant ex
perience. They were on the summit OF
a high peak near Dixie Butte. Mr..
Walsh was stretched out on the shady
side of rock. while Mr.. Tweedy was
hurriedly sketching the topography OF
the surrounding country as a thunder
storm was coming mp.
Suddenly he heard buzzing sound,
as if big fly was under his plane
table. Reaching his hand under the
table he received an electric shock that
sent him staggering back.
The projecting rocks gave forth at
the same time humming. musical
sound, and all the surrounding air was
evidently surcharged with electricity.
The peaceful slumbers of Mr.. Walsh
were disturbed at this time, and he
jumped to h S feet, but was content to
lie down again. as. when standing up,
the electric fluid caused a sensation
like the pricking of needles. Their
hair stood up like brstles, their muscles
twitched. and not having contract to
serve as tightening rods for that peak.
they gathered up their instruments and
beat hssty retreat down the noun
ia inside. Soon the thunderstorm brok
and the peculiar condition Of the al
passed away. - Youths Companion.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
Dancing Saints.

The Mormon church has started thus
early in the season, says The Salt Lake
Democrat, to open fire with full force
against the practice of round dancing
among the young Saints and Saintesses.
A few Sundays ago Joseph E. Tay-
lor, the cohabitive outlaw, made his
appearance In the Sugar-House ward
meeting-place and gave the young
Saintesses fearful drubbing on keep
ing company with gentle youths 1t
was pretty hard for the girls to take
such raking from this scape-grace,
but it was infinitely worse on the gen
tile youth in general. Those who have
seen Sugar-House girl will need no
further explanation. The inspired
Joseph also hammered away at the
evils of round dancing, of which he
appeared to know great deal.
But this is not the saddest part of
the war on round dancing. 1t is no
more than is naturally expected of the
fussiliferous stake presidents. A much
worse indication is seen in the fact that
several of the most youthful youths of
Zion have been bluffed into raising
their voices against it. Sunday before
last STRIPPING Saint of eighteen sum-
mers and two or three winters-a
Saintlet who danced round dances all
last winter-a Saintlet who is no more
capable of forming an idea for him.
self than witness in cOhab case is
of telling the truth-this little Saintlet
was made the photograph through
which an anti-round-dancing sermon
was squeaked at the congregation. The
youth did not think there was 'much
harm" in the practice if there was not
too much "hugging' done. and closed
his speech by saying that he would
promise to quit dancing round dances
# the church would not allow them to
90 on. He was followed by another
lad little older in years but quite as
young in experience; and it is thus that
the Saints are taught the Lord wishes.
The depth of depravity to which boy
Of 10 must descend in order to inject
ideas of morality or immortality into
the innocent pleasure of dancing is
something more alarming than a thou
sand such evils as those which these
kidlets preach.
There is one good thing in the
church's sitting down upon this sort of
enjoyment-it will bring lots of the
young people to their senses. and II 1t
comes to the worst the old Saints will
find that there are few young Nor
mons who won't bluff for cent.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
Neither One Meant Anything.

Jocular passenger to matter-of-fact
conductor-"Knocking down much to-
day."
The conductor modestly, but firmly
knocks him down.
Say" Picking himself up saddcr
and sorer MANI Cant you take a
joke? ! didn't mean anything"
81 didn't either. Drake's Magazine.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
What Constitutes Love Match.

What Constitutes a Love Match.
"a hear Gus De Jones is going to be
married"
"Yes; he is"
ITO the rich Miss Brown, they tell
me-"
That's the lady"
She's not very handsome, either"
"Not to speak Of"
why do you suppose he is marrying
her?"
..It's love match"
"Oh, pshaw"
Fact, l assure you. Love match
pure and simple"
You don't believe thatP"
Yes, do. She is in love with him
and he is in love with her money!
Pittsburgh Dispatch
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
FHE GIANT OF MEDICINES :!
Tho Most Effective and Popular
Remedy Ever Discovered.
WHY IS IT SO EFFECTIVE IN SO MANY pIF-
FERENr pIsEAsEs7

W. and remedy that the Unlike
r IN pal and
II il S S
sfES d E Gu amount S Of GHs asa
49, 'FRoTH Appetite
DoPs swugs
Yand
p
OF
specific SAFE
ABOUT
h
EFFECTIVE MEDICINE EVER DISCOVERED
THE
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

Plaid plush has tufted plush squares In
the center Of the plaid, formed by narrow
stripes of light color surrounding a dark
square.
Sleeves OF different color or material from
the bodice are worn. With polonaise over
dress the sleeves correspond to the materials
of the skirt.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
Moxie Nerve Food.

Weak, nervous, overworked women, ner-
vous exhaustion, mental and physical tire out,
recovered and repaired In few hours BY the
harmless South American plant, a delicious
drink. Price so cents quart bottle. For
sale everywhere
DEs MONIES MoxIE NERVE Foop Co..
Des Moines, Iowa.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
Indian MOccasins for Baby.

From Baby hood.
My baby boy, q year old, has never worr
anything in the way OF shoes but Indian moe
casins They are soft and yielding, and warm
er than shoes. When tied with ribbons they
look well, ard are more comfortable. My ba
by uses his feet more In climbing and moving
about than any child | ever noticed with shoes
These moccasins are cheaper and last longer
which Is quite an item when one has a mum
Der of little feet to dress
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

Cast twenty-four stitches on each needle
(three needless, join, knit one round plain
knit two stitches plain, put thread over once
knit one, put thread over once, knit one sill
one, narrow, throw the slipped stitch over; re
peat till one round is knit. The next round /
plain always. Continue until the wristlets ar,
as long as YOU like them. For a large wis
thirty-two stitches will be necessary. The pat
tern must be increased or decreased by eigh
stitches on each needle. This is very pretty
in wool or silk.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

The United States has an area OF between
800 900 aud 400, 900 square miles Of coal fields,
10000, 900 tons of coal being mined from these
fields annually, or enough to run ring around
the earth at the equator five aud one-half fee,
wide and five and one.halt thick every year.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

Fa.thfulness Is necessary in all kinds OF
work. Especially is Il necessary in treating a
co d, 10 procure the b, remedy. which is Al
lens Lung Balsam, ami take II faithfully ac-
cording 10 directions, and II will cure a cold
every time and nreyent fatal results sol5 he
ali druggists at 25c., Ode. Hnd 81 bottle.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

Mr.. J. + Bonsil, New Bloomfield, Pa. clerk
OF the several courts Of Perry county, Pa. wa,
afflicted with rheumatism for more than thrt,
years. After spending hundreds OF dollars
with different physicians, and trying every
known remedy without benefit, he used 81
ia obs Oil, which effected an entire cure.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

You hardly realize that II is medicine, when
taking Carter's Little Liver Pills, they are
very small, no bad effects; all troubles from
torpid liver are relieved by their use.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

In the matter Of buttons fashion has DE-.
creed that rich dresses must have them o
solid gold. Many Of the fancy buttons arr
of so rich design that they may be classeG
among ipWeiry
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
cases OF Weak Stomach, Indigo stion,
ryspepsis relieved by CAKrERs LItrLE NEn :R Puts

The Arc-Seales are the chea nest scales made.
They are adapted for Office, home, store aud
faru. Several varieties Agents wanted.
Works, Davenport, Iowa
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
WEAK, nervous PEOPLE

T - -SsoN<- And others suffering from
rgHT ~1ezs-Engyer,> nervous debility e1hnusting
$3.50 8HsTA chronic diseases, premature
ExeJ rcrraaiss - .ecne of young or old are
v Hit 37ItE1 positively cured by DR..
<{k4It.TsTE5tS.STA%> Horne's famous Electro.
SGs4S T~t Magnetic Belt. Thousands
n everv sEASSta in the Union have been cured
Iectrici SSIy Instantly felt Paten ted and sold 10
ears Whole family can wear same belt. Electric
free with male belts Avoid worthless i'm
tations and bogus companies Electric TrnsseS Tor
Rupture. 700 cured mss. Send stamp TOT pampnet.
in. j. HoRRE, INVENTOR, lsi WABASH Az, CHICAGO.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
Pretty WHISTLES.

Summer coughs and colds generally come to
stay, but the use OF Red Star Cough Cure in.
variably drives them away. Safe, prompt, sure.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
WARMERS SAFE CURE.

Hoods are seen OF all mantles, from the
cumbersom Russian cloak to the jaunty tailor
made jacket They are generally becoming.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
You Gan Secure Strength

SHOE and haIdwsrs dealers eel Lyons Heel Stlden
crs they Keep boots and shoes streight.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

Motto for corset factory-"We have come
to tay."--Cleye!aad SWh
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
How Hawks and Owls Eat.

From Atlanta Constitution.
Captain Tom Langston, who Is one Of At
lanta's most enthusiastic sportsmen, says:
"Did you ever notice hawk or an owl prepar-
ing to make a meal on birdi The difference
In their methods Is very great A hawk will
first pick all the feathers of the bird and then
pick It to pieces as 1t is deyoured. He goes at
1t In very systematic and dainty manner
Not SO with an owl. After killing bird the
owl swallows Il whole, feathers and all. He
then sits quietly, and In an hour or SO you will
see the owl move his neck about as II he was
trying TO untanglc knot In it, Then he viii
sort of hump his back, lower his head, and the
moment ball Of feathers win roll out of bis
mouth. The operation shows that the owl d.
vests the bird of its feathers after swallowing
il, while tie hawk plucks out every feather
and quill before he takes bite"
The editor of the Corsicana, Tex, Observer,
Mr.G P.'Miller, had severe attack Of rheuma.
tism In his left knee, which became so swol-
lon and painful that he could not walk up the
stairs He writes that after few applications
Of St Jacobs Oil, the pain entirely disappeared,
and the knee assumed its normal prof ortions.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16
WARMERS SAFE CURE.
CONSUMPTION::!

The lungs, the KIDNEY POISON
away and are DESTROYED. DIP go
day in acid and it soon becomes
poison acid in the blood has
For this reason a person whose XII
in the Spring OF the year, Lung
sons of the year. Rectify the act
as many hundreds Of thousau
NRNr IN THE CONDITION OF THE
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-12-16

A
ley I
char
bend
vernI
REM
of G
$780,
give
BUSH
psesI
give
+. am |
four .
fholI
q nj
agid !
A..
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1886-06-03

11ey were Mim I0ye, Hiss Humphrey, Los
Van Yechtsn. Miss Folsom. and Miss PruIn.
The box and its contents were taken by nE
Roessle, the hotelkeerar, to the presfdenfs
own man servant and the box WIS opened
In his presence TO show that it did not con-
tain dynamite. It was closed again and put
under the pillow of tie president-elect
WEDDING PRESENTS
The friends of the president are wondering
what to do about wedding presents he
has refused TO accept anything in the shape
Of a gift since he was elected, except from
his most intimate friends Many things
that have been sent him have been re-
turned to the donors with letters Of thanks
but with regrets that they could not be &C
cepted, while other presents in the form
of curiosities have been sent over to the
National museum, but as the president wiz
probably not be married again during his
term of ONCE it is thought he viii not count
this time and win permit the bride to receive
the usual courtesies The members
of the cabinet viii present Mrs
Cleveland solid silver dinner service,
and Mrs Whitney has been delegated to
make the selection She went to New York
Saturday morning to arrange the family
residence there, and this was another of her
eIrands 1t is understood also that in add
ton TO this general gift the families of the
cabinet officers will make other presents TO
the bride, and that many of the presidents
intimate friends here win follow this ex-
ample Democratic member Of congress,
with several millions of money and an int-
mate of the White House, to make him
happy has sent TO a friend in Phila-
delphia to secure him something hand
some ard appropriate, and on Saturday there
was an unusual number of customers in the
jewelry stores of this city.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1886-06-03
Hancock's Little story of Ora

General Hancock was in Washing
after General Grant first became Pr
dent, and one night he spent ssve
hours at the White House alone u
General Grant upon the latter's d
tstion. They talked over army ID
tiers and walked beyond the W.
House grounds, the evening b
temptingly pleasant and it was
when they returned indoor. On
way back man approached and
luted them and made ready TO spa
to the President personally, but I
promenading generals were not 10
mood for interruption and the
truder was waved aside. After
White House had been reached and
half-hour more spent in further @
versation Genera Grant suddel
calculated: What a careless ma
ami" General Hancock looked =
prised and the President explai1
that he had till then forgotten an
portant appointment. ''Doyo remel
Der that man who accosted us? be We
on. 81 didn't realize who he was th
/ was so interested in what We VI
talking about, but now his yol
comes back to me, and I'm ashanl
OF my absent mindedness. That ~
was in New York regiment, and b
an arm shot off down South. | caf
across him quite by accident yests
day: he is in hard luck; has 81
family on his hands, and can't
any work to do. sent him word
come and see me this evening, fer
want to give him a place; but b
when he answers my summons he p
got to go away empty handed,
you know, Hancock. | fear to 60
bed till I've found that poor dey
Who knows what desperate thing
might be tempted to do, having z
pected something here, and only got
rebuff when he addressed me?" There
of this story Gen. Hancock told brs
ly: al saw Gen. Grant next ds
His eyes were heavy and infaut
He had not got a chance to sleep siIl
/ babe HIM good-by on the night .
fore. From another source | learn
that he had gone alone and unatten
ed at midnight into the furthest pc
OF Washington to hunt clew to q
man whose ill-fortune had awaken
so much sympathy in his breast, a.
it was day-break and other dun
pressing by the time he got back
the White House again. The POI
devil got good place. New fol
Times.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1886-06-03

Cop,.n.l5n % ne Kalrh.. q labor.

AT the general convention OF the Knights
OF Labor ut Cleveland, General Master
Workman PcTderly in an address referred
to the order and its remarkable growth, it's
strikes and boyeotts. He advised calm
ness and righteousness in all the actions OF
the delegates. Standing committees were
then appointed on laws, strikes, boycotts
and the relation OF the order TO all other
orders.
In his address Porderly said: The null
tiplicity OF strikes that have occurred in
the last six months have greatly lowered
our order in the public estimation. OF
course great many strikes are attribut-
I'd to us with which we should not be cred
tied but on the other hand many that are
charged to US we are responsible FOR.
viii go nowhere; / viii see no one; | will at
tend to no other business until this conyen-
tion is over. propose to stay here and
hnish this business il IL takes all summer,
end want you to be prepared TO stay
with me.
Richard Treylick, the chief organizer OF
the order, speaking OF the difficulty with
some Organizers throughout the country,
said:
Much OF the trouble rising from rapidly
increasing membership and the installa.
| ton OF our assemblies is due to poor or
/
| Powder!y or the executive board. In max
| ing appointments they must rely upon the
recommendations of the district assem-
4 blies. They cannot know all the men rec
commended and appointed. A few weeks
/ ago in one city met an organizer who was
under the influence OF liquor. He told me
1 he was going to institute an assembly oi
| FIVE hundred striking Polacks and
Hungarians. This is against the rules o
the order rs we can admit no strikers
] while they are out. ] told him SO, but he
replied that he held a commission as or
| ganizer and would do as he pleased. i told
him he could institute the assembly, but il
would never receive charter. We need
/ sober, industrious, representative men ID
these positions. IL would make hard feel
ings to ask Tor their commissions, so It j:
/ proposed to make them ante up from tn,
chief organizer down. This can he done
by Mr.. Powderly alone, by the executive,
board under instructions from the genera
assembly. The best way is the latter and
/ think that it win be done in that manner