Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-31
BRIGHT BITS.

'SIR," said the Master of BallIoI, in his
parting address to distinguished aumnus,
''your fellow students think highly of you,
the tutors and professors think highly of You,
! think highly OF you: but no one thinks more
highly of you than you do yourself, "-En0-
IiSb Paper.
ANGLoMANIAo to boarding house keeper
But ! say, now, you WEAKLY can't call that
stun food, don'cher know.
Boarding house keeper-Tudeed 1t is, sir /;
it's your dinner, SIT. The Prince of Wales has
been ordered TO eat nothing but lean nut
ton chop and stale bread for dinner, and we
cant afford to be behind the fashion.-Ee-
change.
'GoING widing to-day. Awthaw?"
Nav. Got to work, demmit."
eh?" 'V''
'.Maw's witten me iettaw and Pve-aw-
got 70 wead it befaw ! can make auothaw
dwaft on haW. Did you evaw heah of such a
boah?n sgaE
''Nevah, deah boy, nevaw.'' -Toeon Topics.
''DoEs a person have to be familiar with
spirits who tells ghost stories, uncle2'
Certainly not; my little chap, why do you
ask such q question"
''Well, don't you know. 1 Thought they did
and came 70 the conclusion. if that was the
case. you co1tld spin lots of yarns for me, for
mother said the.o her night that you had too
much to do with ardent spirits. "-BostoR
Budget. IS
THE APPEARANCE in the papers of illustrat-
ed advertisements of the new early extra
pea" warns us that the season is approaching
for amateur gardening, and when the CANDY
care of seed papers will contest the place of
hon r in the door way of the suburban grocery
with the Chautauqua county maple sugar
which the grocerynIan is compelled to make
down cellar to ion the inqulsitive layman.-
BUfuLO EepreSs.
snow, pa dear" said Hartford girl, .'you
will do just one or two little errands for me
to-day, won't you@
"Why. certainly. my dear"
"Oh, that's ever 30 good a pa. You just
match these seven eoiors in worsted, buy me
three good crochet needles, you know what
kind, and a--a--package OF caramels."
'All right, my dear. III remember the cara
mels" And that ia all he intended to re-
member. -HarC0rd Post.
CHICAGO DAMsEL TO New York dude who
has been talking about dear old London.
pneher know}-Are you a relation TO the
browns Of London, Mr.. Brown?
M. B.-Naw. Factis, ye know, Miss Ben
ton. my name is Y an, DuZen- BwOwn-with a
hyphen, doncher know. And Ipwefer to be
called MistaH Van DrZen Bwown.
Chicago DHmsel (symp athiztngly)-Oh, I'm
50 sorry, Mr. Brown. but we're so partlcul ar
IN the West, and really haven't been intro
duced to The Van Duzen half of you yet
Net0 York 1rl6BRe.
Young Pereie Shafton Muddhead happens
IN at a discussion Of the labor troubles at the
club After listening with profound atten-
| deah baoy. can yon. aw, appwise me Of, aw,
what the dayvi alt these stwises aw fawt
/ Bee luse. I'm WEAKLY too dsgustIngly igno-
want Of theah, aw, Owigin faw anything; ]
| am. as III an you. Ass
well, the Ghlef occasion of them appears
to be that the strikers want something to
| eat
Jaw Then why the dayvil don't they aw
go to the westawant and. aw, get it?'-Toeon
| Topics
| To FURNISH AJAPANEsE RoOM.-"Nothing
| simpler, my boy, nothing simpler. The
Japanese don't have any furniture. They
| have thick mats woven OF reeds-something
| like that Indian one you see on the wall. They
! squat on them in the daytime, and at night
they put on their quilted bedgowns it their
| neeks on the head reefs like erutches, you
/ know and go TO Sleep"
But is that all there ls in Japanese
| room?"
"All but the platform at the end, where
! they arrange their vases and brio -brac
| They have a different set for every season
| and each is symbolic in ts decoration"
Then our Japanese rooms are not Japanese
! r0oms"
'Thcy are simply repositories for japanese
| objects Of art. -PhilddelDhid Press.