St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1886-02-18
A MISERABLE WIFE.
And n FOrcibIe Lesson How to Cure
Her.

eyes, professor, | am afraid | shall
have to rent or sell my farm. My wife
is so miserable. cannot carry it on
without hiring, and hiring eats up all
the profits"
looked at the speaker admiringly.
He was about 80, and us robust as q
man of 30. His whiskers were neatly
trimmed, showing IA full red cheek. He
wore IL jaunty hat and natty cntaway
coat, and below his vest hung silk
fob and heavy gold seal. | was proud
of him. He was snch IL perfect picture
of the New York gentleman from the
rural districts that | wanted to i'm
print his picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miserable 2"
eyes, kinder droOpin', with dry
cough and no ambition. She jest kind
er'drags around the house and looks
so peaked and scrawny it gives me the
blues. 1t does, | swan"
"Naturally weakly, wasn't she ?"
"She Oh, no. When | married her
she was the smartest girl on the creek.
She used to work for father, and the
way she made the work stand round
took my eye. She was poor gal, and
her industry got her rich husband"
Here he carelessly took ont gold
watch, looked at the time, put it back
and adjusted the silk fob on the front
of his nicely fitting trousers.
$50 she did well, getting married on
account of her industry ~
'Why, of course; she was getting
only $2.50a week, and she became
mistress of farm"
I'm hov
worth now, cOnfidentially you know ;
| am a scientific man and will never
use such facts to your injury with the
assessor"
"Well, professor, | could crowd $780,
600 pretty hard"
"That is good. How long have you
been married 7"
"Thirty years next Fourth of July.
teeter, and | proposed the match and
Jane was willin.'"
elbow much do yOu suppose you
have made in these 30 years ?"
Hum-um-lemme see. | got the
Davis farm the first 10 years, then
run in debt for the Simmons place e, got
war prices for my cheese, and squared
up both places. Well, | think | have
CTtdIeu up COD,OUO SlIlCc we = pllCtu.
every good, indeed. And your wife
has been great help all this time ~
"Oh, YOU bet. She was a RATHER.
She took care of her baby and the milk
from 20 cows. tell you she made the
tinware flop. Why, we have had four
children, and she never had a hired
girl over six months in that time ~
"Splendid; and you have cleared
$780, in that time ?"
eyes, easy"
"Now, how much has your wife
made ?"
"She, why, professor, she is my
wife"
II know it. But what has she made.
You say she was poor when you mar
ried her. Now, what has she made p
"Why, you beat all. Why, she is
my wife and we own it all together"
"DO youP Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has
horse and carriage when she wants
them Then she has servant maid
when she wants one? Then she rides
out for her health, and has watch
and chain of gold as you do? Is that
soPr
professor, you must be crazy. No
body's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such a thing 2"
"NOw, look here. You say she did
well in marrying rich, and | cannot
see it. If she was getting $3.50 per
week when you married her, and had
saved her wages, she would have had
now $4,000. If she had invested it she
would have had $1,000. Now you tell
me she is broken down, used up and
miserable, and looks so badly she makes
you sick, and she has no money, no
help, and will get probably nothing
but a scotch granite tombstone when
she dies I"
professor, if you was a younger
man, would lick you"
"What for | am stating this case
fairly, am not Your wife is no long
er young. She is no longer handsome.
Her hands are as hard as a local edi-
tors cheek, and she has stopped over
"A milk can until she has hump on her |
back like peddler.r
"Shut up, will you ~