The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1886-09-10
MR.. GREEN'S WISDOM TEETH.

MR.. GREEN'S WISDOM TEETH.
Philadelphia News.
Theophilus Green was quite sure he
could never be "taken in" no, indeed,
not he. He had cut his wisdom teeth
long ago, he was wont playfully to re-
mark, and that, although Green by
name, he was certainly not green by
nature.
IL just wish one of those fellows
would tackle me, that's all, he would
say to his wife; ~ think he'd find out
that ne had woke up the wrong pas
senger, got hold OF the wrong pig by
the ear-eh, Mrs. Green?"
And the good old gentlemen would
rhuckle to himself and rub his hands
sleefully together at the bare thought
OF the dire confusion with which he
would overwhelm designing villainy,
"My DEAR" said Mrs Green in an
anxious tone OF voice to her husband,
one morning after she had finished
reading an account in the paper OF the
latest doings OF the aforesaid probes
sional sharpers, 'I'm so afraid that
Arthur will fall into the hands of one
OF these 'bunko' men. He is so young
and inexperienced, you know; and in
large city like New York.
"Pshaw!" interrupted Mr.. Green
contemptuously. "Author is old
enough to take care of himself He's
not such a fool. No one bearing the
name OF Green, my dear, ever did or
ever will so far disgrace that honored
patronnymic by manifesting such a
lack OF brains and common sense"
Young Arthur Green was the nephew
OF Mr. and Mrs. Theophilus Green Up
snthe evening OF the day on which the
above conversation occurred he was
expected to arrive in New York from
his home in a distant country town,
to make his relatives q visit. Mr..
Green had walked couple OF blocks,
and was about to turn n corner OF the
street, when u young man ofquite pre-
possessing features, somewhat showily
dressed, and swinging a slender bam-
boo cane, with light, jaunty air, sud-
denly stepped up to him and extending
his hand with an air of extreme CON.
tidence and cordiality, exclaimed: Z
"Why-is not this Mr.. Green?"
Mr.. Theophilus Green never nibbled
round an idea, so to speak, but swal-
lowed it whole. He fairly dilated with
pleasure and exultation, and, draw
ing himself up with an air OF severe
dignity, he said, in q tone of whitening
sarcasm and contempt:
Young man, do you observe any
thing particularly rural about my ap.
pearance? Have ], in q word, the
look OF an innocent and honest coun-
trynlan just cometo town to see the
sights? AS have not the honor Of
your acquaintance, sir, l wish you a
very good day."
"Why, Mr.. Green, surely you have
not forgotten me?" exclaimed the
young man, in q tone of surprise,
which, if not sincere, was certainly
admirably feigned.
"No, sir, / have not forgotten you,
for the simple reason that l never
knew you, sir" said Mr. Green, waxing
warm. "But, perhaps" he continued,
in tone of bitter irony, "to saveyou
all unnecessary trouble, | had better
give you my check for 81 900 at once.
You probably have picture some
where that you want me to look at.
You doubtless think that am q pa
tron of the fine arts, eh?"
"Why, Mr.. Green--Uncle Theophi-
lus, cried the young man earnestly,
"haveyou really forgotten me? Don't
you remember the delightful little pic
MICS and nutting parties among the
woods that you used to take me to,
and how you used to take me on
bind old Dicks back and ride ME
round the barnyard, and how you
used to dandle me on your knee,
and"
"Well, I'll be flabbergasted," ex-
claimed Mr.. Green, the nearest ap-
proach to profanity hc ever allowed
himself, eff the impudence and assur-
ance OF these villains don't exceed be-
liet. If you call me Uncle Theophilus
again, you young scamp, I'll have you
arrested"
But, really, you are mistaken, sir, y
said the young man, earnestly. ~
am"
'Iknow whatyou are, sir" shouted
Mr.. Green, in q towering passion, and
loud enough to be heard two blocks
away; you're a-hallo, here"
The last two words were directed
to q policeman, who was sauntering
along upon the opposite sidewalk,
about thirty feet off
From frequently meeting on the
street they were well known to each
other, SO, giving friendly nod OF
recognition, the officer hastened over
. "Wi1i viii yo. R9sase take this person
In custodyS said Mr.. Green, excited.
ly. 81 have just detected him in a
base attempt upon my purse, and if i
had not fortunately happened to be
up to his little game, he would have
robbed me, sir-robhed me-
"Yes, take him away and lock him
mp. I'll settle his case o.morrow." u
Mr.. Green fred this parting shot at
the wretched culprit and went on his
way exultingly.
At the breakfast table the next
morning Mr.. Theophilus Green seemed
to be in high feather. With a some.
what pompous air he spread out his