The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1886-08-25


ITEMS OF INTEREST,".
facts, Fancics and Conceits Picked
From Here and There.
Why is loaf of bread like the sum- Be-
cause it is light when it rises.
II a lady who hesitates is lost, what must
Il be, then, for lady who stammers or
suffers.
There are thirty-two separate taxes on
wheat in Mexico from the time it leaves the
Geld until it reaches the miller.
Tho women physicians in Philadelphia
are becoming so numerous that they will
shortly form medical society of their own.
There are no old maids in Japan. When
The old maids don't get married voluntarily
the authorities hunt up husband for them.
A pious old lady recently sent as wedding
presents pair of fiatirons rolling pin
and motto worked on cardboard reading,
Fight on"
maiden lady says that If single life is
bad, it stands to reason that double life is
twice as bad but ladies rarely understand
mathematics.
There is house at Norfolk, Va, on
which there has been mortgage of $50 for
eighty-one years. The interest has been
paid punctually.
81 wish Columbus had never been born +"
was what London merchant said when he
heard that his cashier had left for New York
with all the assets.
Editors, however much they may BIZ
biased arc fond of the word +" impartial
An editor once gave an I" impartial account
IF thunder storm"
Did you ever ask any one else to be your
wife p she queried, in much doubt No,
darling" he answered tenderly. / assure
you this is my maiden effort"
A British Member Of Parliament with
small income and large family has the
courage to advertise for furnished house
In can unfashionable neighborhood near
Westminster"
A man working in California sawmil
the other day was struck in the throat by
piece of steel that cut his windpipe oper
and fell down into IT, He coughed it UP
and is doing well.
And do your workmen," asked Lon.
don visitor of Lancashire halloween,
really live in those hovels?" Certainly
not" replied the master. ''They only
sleep there. They live in my MILL"
A rich banker gave beggar shilling,
when the latter, with gratitude: May
heaven reward You thousand times !"
"Well, what would that amount to ? only
fifty pounds !" answered the rich man smil-
ing.
A gentleman's linen cuff, directed to the
owner and stamped with penny stamp
recently went through the London post
office. It bore this message: 4" Please call
and pay your washing bill. Your Laun
Dress"
The national debt Of Great Britain
amounts to rather more than $40 for each
inhabitant But very few worry over the
matter. It's grocers' and butchers bills
which makes us jump when the door-bell
rings.
The Due de Morny's definition of polite
man is hard TO realize. "a polite man, "
said he, :" is one who listens with interest
to things he knows all about, when they are
told by person who knows nothing about
them"
A little newsboy of Orlando, Fla, hearing
suddenly Of his fathers death, dropped his
,aax,aro ax,d brr~iad hx,,,,a A n;ks,,x, .,:..,,
ing them up, sold them through the town,
and, telling the circumstances, realized $40
for them.
There are 5000 Government clerks in
Washington, and their average salary Il
about 81, 900. As the capital is costly
place to live in the majority of these stipen.
diaries cannot do more than make both
ends meet with their wages
A French army or navy officer Is not per-
mitted TO marry unless the lady Of his
choice has sufficient capital TO guaranty an
annual income of l 200 francs $40 year.
Another condition is that the lady shall be
of unblemished character.
One of Connecticut's old blue laws. "No
man shall court maid in person or by let
ter without first obtaining the consent of
her parents Five pounds penalty for the
hrst oaense, E10 for the second, and for tho
third imprisonment during pleasure"
Mrs Leland, who keeps boarding house
at Reese River, New, had occasion to dig a
hole in her back yard the other day, and
just under the surface found fine eight