The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
4 BISEBfLL REPORT.
New and Wondrous beauties In the
English Language.

new ana NOnurOuS beauNitS IN tne
English Language.
l can conceive, says writer in the
Kansas City Times, of no more delight
full study for the philologist and meta
phorist than modern account of the
great National game of baseball. Never
before have realized the wondrous
possibilities of the English language.
"You will observe, my friends" l
began, "that the points were occupied
by Whitney and Hackett as our bat.
terry, and that Grasshopper Jim filled the
pitchers box. A battery consists of
batterer and a battered, the battery
standing between. .
why do they put the pitcher In a
box p inquired the young lady with a
bang.
Il don't know" / answered doubt.
fully, "unless 1t is measure of econ
omy. Pitchers come high"
81 know" said the young woman,
with intellectual curvature of the nose;
"it is to keep the opposing players
from hurting him. / read in the paper
the other day that when Radbourne
stepped out of the box Captain Rowe
hoped on to him with both feet"
Very likely" | replied; "but to
continue. Hornung got a base on balls
and Sutton pasted corkcr to Bassctt,
who threw to second, doubling Horn
ung up"
"What is a base on balls?" asked a
fair girl in white lawn. II thought
they always strapped the bases down.
"What did llornung do after he was
doubled up?" inquired the young
woman with the bang. odd it hurt
him very muchY'
81 presume not" said the girl with
the intellectual nose. II saw the other
day that Donnelly let a ball go through
him, and yet he went right on playing
as coolly as if nothing had happened. "
Dear me, it's all so strange" said
the representative of sentiment.
Then" went on, not needing the
interruption, "Wise hit q la-la to Mey-
ers and went out at first"
Whats la.la?" cried the girls in
chorus.
"Opinions differ" replied "When
| Rowe made that home run on the Kan.
sas City grounds. heard o. p. Dick
inson say II was la.la, but Il. Il. Viii
son observed that it was ill. When
| authorities cannot agree, | don't pro-
| fess to be able to decide.
"Kansas City now came to the bat, ="
l continued, land found Stemmeyer at
once. They got onto him in great
shape and pounded him all over the
| field"
"How brutal p exclaimed the girls.
"Why didn't he hide in the box?"
"That doesn't seem to make any
| difference" said the intellectual girl.
Didn't you see how they knocked
| Clarkson out of his box the other day
in New York? Why, the papers say
they just went for him and slugged him
right and left"
"Yes," said the girl with the bang
"my brother told me that when the
Chicagos were in Washington Mr..
Crane tried to pitch, and made the
Chicagos mad, and every one of them
hit him, and they actually laid him Out
cold in the fifth inning"
True" said the sentimental girl
George was telling me some time age
that the Kansas City boys were just
laying, as he called it, for Builinton
and were going to knock the life out
of him."
1T must be terrible thing to be a
pitcher" said the fair young thing in
white. Papa told me he wasn't go
ing to any more ball matches, because
he was tired of seeing our pitchers
hammered"
IF you will give me your attention,
ladies'" said little severely, eve
will proceed with the last half of the
first inning. The boys were on theii
muscle, and welded the willow with
fine effect. After two runs had beer
scored, Lille was called out or
strikes and kicked vigorously at thu
umpire"
"What is the umpirc?' inquired the
sentimental girl.
"Oh, know that" replied the fai
one in white; "he's the little man who
does all the talking, and whom thu
boys call rats.
II think it's very wrong TO kicl
him." said an amiable girl, speaking
for the first time. II have no doubt h,
meant to do what's right"
"The inning closed with three runi
for Kansas City," | went on, land af
Ter that the Bostons had picnic. "
ooh, wasn't that nicel" cried tn
girls. II hope they invited the um
pire,"
80 Delicate diseases, aflectin