The Press., 1886-07-15
HE RELATES FROM EXPERIENCE

hOn. deOr8s M. SGearnS, or Cnlcopee, Mass, knows all about the old-time New England minister, for his father and grand father were ministers. He thus describes how the minister, accompanied by his wife and boy, makes a parochial visit Arriving at some honest mans home, they are at once ushered into the best room, which has not been opened since his last visit, unless for a funeral and into which no fading ray of sunlight has been permitted to enter and rest upon the won- derful furniture. Every chair is a miracle of discomfort, and the little boy is hoisted upon one of these engines of torture, with whispered warnings not to put his boots on the rounds, and to sit still and behave himself at his peril. He looks over the room, at the ingrain carpet with a figure the size of barn door; the rug before the fireplace worked in wonderful designs in worsted, of wolf with swelled head bouncing upon lamb whose only visible leg is the same size of his body brass and irons haircloth sofa and the little boy wonders if all the rooms in the mansions of the skies are equipped as luxuriously as this. The conversation takes on profess sional hue. After the little gossip of the family and town is exhausted, all the falsi- ties, the errors, the mistakes and the wrongs of orthodoxy are clearly demon strated and the truth, the certainties and the greatness of Unitarianism are equally well and clearly established.
 "The time drags, and finally diseased melodeon is uubuttoned, and the minister's wife is called upon to play and to sing from two to five dozen psalm tunes, the host striking in on the bass, touching lightly the notes about which he is doubt full, but coming down with compensating power on the few that he is secure on. At last supper is announced, and with formal solemnity they all proceed to the kitchen to discuss it. The minister knows just what it is, and that it will be the same in every house in the parish-the usual bread, butter and tea, but that the meal must be exalted and made illustrious by the addi- tion of quince sauce, and of cookies with caraway seed. The good man of the house seizes the bread tray to pass around it's contents, when he is recalled 10 the forgot ten proprieties by kick under the table from his wife, wherenpon he pretends to have been brushing flies from off the loaf, and innocently asks the minister to say grace. At last the dreadful day Is over, and the minister returns home and sits down with a weary sigh. The little boy pulls off his suit of torture, resumes his semi-nudity, rushes out of doors, leaps like an antelope, shouts like Comanche and races off to the pasture after the COWS"
 A reunion of the army of the Potomac and the army of Northern Virginia on Gettysburg battle field, which Gen Sickles proposes, will no doubt be carried out, and it will be the most note-w worthy gath ering of the blue and the gray in peace that the country has yet seen. Gen. Sick les talked it over with Gen. Longstreet and McLaws, and has their cordial appro- val As he says "The fraternal reunion of the combatants of Gettysburg, on their field of battle, would give touching em- phasis to the desires of all who wish to see our people again united heart and hand, under one flag and one constitution, } in one republic" .....
 Rev. MT. Stebbins, of San Francisco, has keen appreciation of the ludicrous, and is something of a wit himself. Not long ago man with whom he was slightly acquainted accosted him with a H'
 "Well Stebbins, like you frst-rate but | don't like your religion Sorry but 1 don't for I'm a Baptist 1 lt.
 ''I am glad to hear that you are Rap. tist" replied Mir. Stebbins, who realized that the man had been taking something , stronger than Adams ale, 'for I doni know of anything that would do you moro good than water "-Boston Gdzette.
 Hartford Times A little 7-year old fel low was firing red crackers yesterday , His face was blackened and his right fore 3 finger blistered But he didn't give it up : A gentleman passing, said Having
 good time, Jimmy ?n "Yeth, sir, glor
 iouth, its 4th July" ''What does 4th July mean, Jimmy" ''It meanth making e noithe." Certainly" replied the gentle i man, quite satisfied with the answer.
 The opinion of the medical profession rela U tive to Pearls White Glycerine Soap.
 have used some of your soap and thlnl
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 Respt., Nj. l.. FIELDER, M. D.,
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