Morning journal and courier., 1886-09-11
ONE.PRICE.

The postmaster is about the only one price dealer.-Danville Breeze.
 The present popularity of the chestnut belle ought to give the red-headed girl a chance.-Baltimsre Gazette.
 According to Philadelphia paper Chinese dishes are becoming fashionable in this coun try. Ratsl-Boston Transcript.
 The cigar that is called imported is about as appropriately named as the hired girl we call omestic.-Yonkers Statesman.
 "The earthquake did what the politicians failed to do,'' observed Zebedee Smith. s'What was thata" asked Ebenezer Jones. "It broke the solid South. ."-Pittsburg Chroni- cle-Telegraph.
 A Suggestion of Economy. Lady Gin dry goods store)-'I will look at your material for towels.' Clerk (recently transferred from the dress goods department)- Yes, ma'am; something that won't show dirt?'- Life.
 "A Brooklyn man, who has just shot him. drink" said Brown looking up from his newspaper. "Poor fellowl" was Fogg's com ment; "how badly he must have wanted it. He is all right now, however. He has gone to the spirit land. ."-Boston Transcript. A young man in New Haven makes tidies, embroiders pillow shams and knits tatting. When he gets wife she will be relieved of Rr0ab O6hl Ol WOIh OAO WILL uaF6 uQOE6 time to make the fire, split kindling wood and whitewash the fences, and her neigh bors will envy her.-Norristown Herald. A little boy was watching his mother make sandwiches to carry to the picnic last Thurs day and asked what she was putting between the biscuits. ''She replied, "Deviled ham. J He thought for a moment and then said, ''Well, you needn't give me any of that bad mans ham, for belong to the Star of Prom ise"-Fairhaven (Mass.) Star.
 It is rumored that new magazine will shortly appear, which will make a speciality of printing in each number an article relat- ing to the Hate war; between the North and the South It strikes us that this is an ex- celIent idea. We have often wondered why our magazines and weekly papers didn't print war article now and then.-Norris- town Herald.
 Boarding house keeper to applicant for room: .fWhat is your business, young manF' 'fI instructor, madam. I coach deficient collegians." t'Eh-whats thats" GA tutor, madam; am a tutor" "Oh, one of them gents that plays in the band, eh? All right; l didn't know but what you was one of them poor miserable fellers that gets their Twin by teachin'. Come right in, sir."-Burling- ton Free Press.
 A gentleman who had carefully trained up his servant in the way he should go, so that when his wife was present, he might not de- part from it, sent him with x-ticket for the theatre to the house of a young lady. The servant returned when the gentleman and wife were at dinner. He had, of course, been told in giving answers in certain cases to substitute the masculine for the feminine pronoun. ''Did you see hima" asked the master. ''Yes, sir,'' replied the servant. 'He said he'd go with pleasure, and that he'd wait for you, sir." "What was he .doing, asked the wife carelessly. Putting on his bonnet, ma'am," said the idiot.
 "There was a very sad case in the police court this morning." said lawyer to his wife. "A girl was arrested for stealing fine lace veil. The woman who owned the veil came to the court, and, with heartless ness, persisted in prosecuting the poor girl. The judge, however, would not allow him. self to be influenced, so he released the girl. /" stShe did not prove that she was innocent, did shes'' 'Oh, mo-" t'Then why did the judge release herr" "We1l, he said that he had no right to interfere in religious mat ters" Religious mattersa' "Yes, he said that the laws of the land grant to every woman the right to take the veil" The woman did not reply for several minutes. Then she said: s'I know woman who mar ried fool. I'm the woman. ."-Arkansaw Tray eler