Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-03-05
DIDN,T KNOW BIIL sMITa.
a Gentleman Seeking lntormatlSh-A
Hotel Clerk aud a bartender Amuse
and DumfOund Him.

a Gentleman Seeking Ahiai i"Al'" "A
Hotel CLERK aud bartender Amuse
and DumfOund Him.
From The Ne,c Yor, $40.
The young man was evidently student
from some suburban educational instItu-
ton. for he came in the hotel Office with
that kick-a-dry-goods-5 0N-into-the street
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS sign over the
doctor's-door sort Of an air that always
goes hand in hand with the pursuit Of
knowledge in rural balls OF learning. Ii
the market price OF beer was q dollar a
glass. it would nave been a safe bet that
the young man had the price Of ticket To
Chicago, with sleeping car attachment,
boarded safely away in under bis vest.
There was no way OF telling whether ne
had tarried long or not at the beer mug
but there was no room OrdOubt that VINO
ever had dallied with the faucet ~ ms De-
half had dallied efectually. Inc young
man stood for a moment by the door. ana
gaZed at the clerks desk as lon2inkly as
man could who had TO shut one eye TO
gaze at all. He evidently thought that
the clerk and the desk would SWING
around TO him presently But they didn't,
and the youth finally Draced himself ana
made dash for the desk. He got there
Just in time TO save his base. he rested
his hands on the counter and gathered
dressed the clerk in that distinct, clear
utvolce q fellow always has when the
Iub-cellar of his diaphram is flooded with
beer.
",Zennybody seen-hic-seen Bile
smis g' said he. WZennybody seen IN 20
II beg pardon" said the clerk, as he
smilingly careened his ear over a little
nearer to his interrogation.
The young gentleman from the rural
home OF the classics looked at the clerk in
one-eyed uncertainty for moment, and
then calculated;
"HuhY
81 didn't exactly hear what you were
saying" replied the clerk, politely. II
didn't understand you"
"Uh, ye didn't, hey 20 replied the youth,
this time disdainfully. "Ye didn't hey z
'stoo badl Didn't hear me, heyf Sh'li
g'WOut n buy YIN ear trum-hic-'near
trumpetY mi talku' wild Injun, ram /
adeafn dumb Chinaman srylR pWarble
WelshY Jevver see
At this point passing recollection or
something funny fitted across the young
mans mind, and he gave himselfup for a
fewse conds TO that idiOtic hilarity with
which the custodian OF a jag of beer some
times froths over. Then he smOte the
counter with his fist and rounded off his
mirth with
''wh-e-e-e-e. Pmipiyl Hoe her down,
bdls lge UlAbbSE q uetit
Then the young man slowly recovered
himself, ana once more got the clerk IN
focus.
"Bussay, Gus" said he. essay, 'zenny-
bonY seen-ohi We didn't hear me, huh?
Who're you, 'nVhOwp'
Ppm the clerk" replied that patient
party.
son, var, heyT" said the youth, aftec a
swaying and blinking survey OF the clerk.
'Clerk, huhp Say, Biz clerkt, stand up'n
sass sme2 Ull see 'bouttl Whezz floor
walker? d'-wantny clerkt sass--hIc--
sass SINE; 'n'won'tav't. Whezz floor
wRlkerP'
"A-w-w, come OF, - said the clerk. "You
burden me. Go take spin on the body
sRrdeW
The young man grew dignihed.
"Lookeeri" said he, 81 amt my gilly,
Pete. 'Stan? I'm ge'lman from Cell
Evansville, mi d'want my back talkl Pm
a ge'lman. My fazz ge'lman, n my muzz
ge'lman. All my bruzz's Ge'lman,'n so
zRll my siss'sl stan? Ny family zall
ge'l-nol M wrongl All but Ike" said
the youth, again bordering on levity.
"My bruss, Ike 'snO ge'lman. BruZ Ike's
a lawyerl Hay, c0llyl Broth Ike's
A. say, Pete. Urye wild me ur agin
meY'
The clerk was neither wild him nor agin
him. He declined the flowing bowl, but
steered the young man to the refreshment
bazaar,
"H'io,v said the youth, as he wobbled
up and put out his hand to shake with the
bartender.
chow is't, GoV'nOrW
s'Way upl" said the bartender. 'sFour
StOries and mansard, tin shingles on the
roof"
"Good 'noughlv rejoined the gentleman
from Gentlemansville. "PIl open mother
boil. Se'mmupW
"Mumm or Piperf" asked the barten-
der, ''Or a small WidowY'
''Beerl" replied the youth. Boil a
beer"
"Bsd as that?' said the bartender.
saint you little reckless this evening,
SenatOrr'
"za'ssall right, Gully" the young man
assured the bartender. 'ZR'ssall right.
sayl Seen Bile smIs' tnightY
''WhOY
'B'le smis. Bill, Bill, Icy, ly-B'le; |
smitaitch-smis. Bile Smis. Seen mp !
''Ohl Smith, Smith. No, amt seen |
him." replied the bartender. "D0n't |
mow him--neyer heard OF him"
The young man mad his glass half way
10 his mouth. He held IL poised Ia air for a |
moment, and then placed It on the bar. l
BE opened both eyes and stared at the |
bartender. He was speechless for min |
ute, and then he said:
dom know limp Never heard'vim? /
Dom know Bile Smis? Wh'azzis I've |
hic-Pve struck Never heard'y the
RondOut terror? Say. He licked Toppy /
9rogan IN one round, IN Toppy-say, |
wh'rRm II D)n' know the demon slug. /
gerry the coal docksg Bile Smis the boy't !
slung keg o. beer 'Bside'vim In fOrt-hIo |
fortune mince by the clock, N then ate !
the glass, IN hare's a duffer vi never heard |
'imW
The young man finished mis- beer. Then |
he leaned on the bar IN a dazed sort OF !
way.
BY and by he said:
''5e'lz i'll That SELF a. This ounny's
play'd out. 'SnO uss tryin' to be 'nybOdyl /
TmOr' I-say, Pe-hic-Petey. T5mor' / |
quit. Dom know Bile Smisl Never
heard'viml Petey, tmor' ] hire out fr
missionary, mn go down tn grave ped
dim ha'l shirts 10 the sizzans o. the Sou
hic-sOu' Sea islan's. say, Gov'nor. -
drown pge'fulness in the lOwln' bowl. |
Bile smis slugged tn lite out o. TOppy
0rOgan. 'nere'a man Stneyer henrdivfml