Morning journal and courier., 1886-12-08
ID ESSE RT.

Why does the camel know more about base ball than the dromedary? Because he is 8 hump higher. Take this with your dessert.- Commercial Bulletin.
 Terrapin, canvasback duck and brook trout chopped very fine, with plenty of seasoning, make a very nice hash. Cut this out and paste it your landlady.-The Christmas Puck.
 Editor Haskell of the Pittsield (Me.) Ad- vertiser, who has just married a lady in Ala bama, sent up from the South to his paper this felicitous dispatch: "No North, no South, but happy union."
 ''United Liquor Men," says a newspaper headline. LiquoFR, Clsa do we'll to unite. good deal e,vsH theE ided they are apt to fall.-Somervi11e Jourrial.
 'I hear your little boy is sick. Mrs. Hitor- miss" tiDear me, yesl The Charlotte Russe broke out all over him, and if he hadn't worn the Iniun beads ome1et, it would have eliminated fatally, fear. .a-Washing- ton Post.
 Pat, who was intensely national, was talk ing the other day and he got his rhetoric so badly mixed that Charles felt called upon to exclaim, "Come, Pat, why don't you use good English?" ''Good English" exclaimed Pat; ''faith, and there are none. ."-Boston Transcript.
 Men are strange creatures. They will waste an hour hunting a collar button instead of having an extra supply and letting their wife find the missing one. Yoa never see a wo- man look for the pin she drops. Her hus- band finds it when he walks around in his bare feet.-Philadelph Call.
 The Hottentot has rather heroic method of ''popping the question" If he takes notion to girl he knocks her down with a blow. In this country a man marries the girl he takes fancy to, if she is willing, and frequently knocks her down with blow few months afterwards. The Hottentottish custom Is less eathensh.-Norristown Her aid.
 The girls at Poughkeepsie draw each other into corner and mysteriously inquire: stDo you know why Professor Blank wears plug hatq' ssNo; why is ita" ''To cover his head of course!" Then they te-he-he and ho! ho! hol and write home to ma that they passed ninety-eight per cent. in Hoyle.-De- troit Free Press.
 'tOh, Georgel" she exclaimed, catching her breath she gazed out to sea; "there seems to be no limit to old Neptune's broad ex- panse; and the waves George, how playfully are very foolish, dear," said George, with sigh. ssHow foolisha'' s'To gamble where there is no limit.'
 Not at all Singu1ar.-Jim McSnifter of the Calveras Canon was recently arrested in Austin for the murder of prominent cltl- zen. tsYou say that you did not kill the deceaseds" said the coroner. ''No didn't say anything of the kind," replied Jim. 'tWell, what did you say?' 1T said if I killed him I don't remember it." "That is very singular, remarked the coroner. "Great heavenl" cried Jim; ssJedge, do you expect a man to make a memorandum of every little trif1ing circumstance that occurs during the day?"-Texas Siftings.
 The cause of the wreck-"She missed stays and went on to the rocks" That is what the new reporter had on his notebook after interviewing an old sailor in regard to the wreck of the sioop Petrel, by which sev- eral lives were lost. The new reporter was from an inland town. His knowledge of aquatic matters was not extensive. When he got back to the office he started ill te write an account of the disaster in this way ''Tne sloop- yacht Petrel was wrecked on the rocks off Devils Heel in the heavy blow of Thursday night. The immediate cause was the absence of stays. The weather was fair when the boat left port-fne weather for haying-and the bay was smooth enough to wash sheep in Captain Smith therefore thought he wouldn't need the stays. But the little vessel missed them when it began to blow, and she went on the rocks as above stated. The captain of the Petrel was guilty of gross negligence in going to sea without stays. Pluck.