Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-03-05
Old P~UNKiNHEAD.
He Relates His Experience at the .,
Nicholas Hotel.

He Relates His Experience at the 1t.
Nicholas Hotel.
eff you can get Old Punkinhead there
to tell you the bed story, you're in luck"
said mine host, aside. ..He's a charac-
ter! His names So-and-So, but we call
him Old Punkinhead because he's SO set
in his ways. He never reads a newspa-
per and doesn't believe in any of the
new-fangled notions of our day. Can't
you tell this young man that bed storyp"
he asked, turning to the old 'un.
1t consumed half an hour and severa
more pots before Old Punkinhead was
wound up to the spinning point. He
was thin almost to transparency, and he
had one of those economical faces, for
whatever his nose dropped his chin
caught. He had a whisk-broom beard
that poked out in front as if it dared
anybody to come near it.
'Tain't much ov a story" he began,
''but 1T got me inter trouble. Now at
hum I've alters had a bed wat sooted
me. 1t wasn't much ov a bed, ter be
sure, but my %grandpop slep' inter it an
it's good enough fur me. l hain't proud
eff l am han'sam. It is one ov them
~high-posted beds, an whin I gifts inter
it l hain't huv up ter the wall like some
body wus under it boostin' ov it.
"Wall, n day I he'd ter go to taoun
on biziness. an ez I wus goin' ter be
ouat all night 1 takes my grip along,
with my night gownd an nightcap in
it. l went ter the circus, walked around
an seen the sights, he'd my fill ov pea
nuts, and about eleven O'Clock, I
sashays up to the hotel watts kept bv
Mr.. st. Nickylason. Broadway street. I
walks up ter the desk and seq ter the fell
Ter behind the bar, SEE I, 4 want a
room.'
"'How high?' SEE he.
so don't care,' seq I; 'ennywhar be-
twixt yer an the roof
"He laffs an seq; 'Imean ther price.
Will ten dollars SCOT yer?'
81 tole him that 1 didn't want ter buy
the house, an that l only ken ter stay
one night. He sed he'd compromise on
two dollars, an I finally gev it ter him.
'"Want me ter keep them valley.
buls2' sed he, pintin' ter my grip.
L Wuoi1 u 10 SlCCll " lilIl, dIlu 1 JUN
it up with me. A niger showed me
up to ther attick. an to make q long
story short, I got inside and locked my
self in. Their wus a bed in one end o.
ther room, but it looked too purity to
muss up, an 1 guess it wus only thar
fur show.
II hunted through the other room,
an thar found a bed. 1t was a funny
lookin' thing, an wus med ov tin with
wooden sidos. l didn't like ther looks
ov it, but l wusn't goin' ter be green,
so l ondresses an jumps in. Their folks
at hum he'd tole me not ter blow ther
gas out, but ter turn it out, an when ]
gets in l looks for ther crank. l finds
it all right an gives it a yank. What
happint? I was almost drownded.
Somebody up stairs, l guess, pours
about u million pals of water over me,
an l yells an yells ontil ther hired man
unit in an yanks me out.
"'Who throwed that water:o' seq I;
show me Tier man wot throwed that
water, an I'll ptlverize him; 1 will, by
grasshoppers"
'.Then he called me aderned fool. and
said it was a bath-tub. Then l he'd ter
go down by the kitchen stove and stay
there all night ter git dry. No more
hotels fur ne, an if I'd a caught old
st. Nickylas I'd mashedhim. Iwould,
by chowder. IN. Y. World.