Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1886-10-13
SOME SMILES.
How Talleyrand was Truthful in His
Sayings About Languages.

How Talleyrand was Truthful in HI:
Sayings About Languages
"The child of the past and the paren,
OF the futur0'' is not an unhappy simile
for the-preSent. Happiness has been
likened to ghost; all talk about it, but
few, II any, have ever seen it. Am.
bition's ladder rests against a star, re.
marks a clever writer, who also tells us
that proverb is 4 short truth sand
wiched between wit and wisdom. Flo
quence is coat Of many colors Judi
ciouSly blended. No one thing will
make a man eloquent. Flattery has
been termed kind Of bad money to
which our vanity gives currency. So
ciety, like shaded silk, must be viewed
in all situations, or its colors will de-
ceive US. Kindness is the golden cham
by which society is bound together, and
charity is an angel breathing on riches;
while graves have been POLITICALLY called
the footsteps Of angels. Language is a
slippery thing TO deal with, as some
may find when selecting their SMILES.
Says writer: 'speak of mans mar
bic brow, and he will glow with con-
scious pride but allude to his wooden
head, and he is mad in minute" The
young lecturers "sImiles were gathered
in heap" when he expressed the whole
body of his argument ON deceit in the
following: ''Oh, my brethren, the
snowiest shirt front may conceal an
aching bosom, and the stiffest of collars
may encircle throat that has many a
bitter pill to swallow" Plagiarists are
a species Of purloiners who filch the
fruit that others have gathered, and
then throw away or attempt to destroy
the basket. 1t has been truly said that
the abilities of man must fall short
on one side or other, like too scanty a
blanket when you are in bed; IL you
pull it upon your shoulders, you leave
your feet bare; 1t you thrust it down
upon your feet, your shoulders are un-
covered. The man, we are told, who
has not anything to boast of but his il
luStrious ancestors, is like potato-the
only good belonging to him being under
ground A man at dinner In evening
dress has been likened to a conundrum;
you can't tell whether he is waiter or
a guest. A Yankee, describing a lean
opponent, said: "That man doesn't
amount to a sum In arithmetic; add
him up and there's nothing to carry"
An American critic In reviewing a
poem, SAID: "The rhythm sounds like
turnips rolling over bare floor, while
some lines appear to have been meas
ured with yard-stick, and others with
ten-foot pole." An amusing illustra-
tion was given by parent when asked
by his boy: "What is understood by
experimental and natural philosoply?"
The answer was: "lf any one wants To
borrow money, that is experimental
philosophy. If the other man knocks
him down, that is natural philosophy.
Curious and comical illustrations seem
natural TO many children. A little girl,
suffering from mumps, declared she
felt as though headache had slipped
down i..k>- her E>1ii--. s.4enn-.a,i ooid
another youngster, alluding TO man
whose neck was series of great rolls
of flesh. THAT mans got a double
chin on the back of his neck" A little
3-year-old, In admiring her baby
brother, is said to have exclaimed:
"He's got boiled head like papa"
Talking of curious similes-among tie
southern languages Of India is the
Teloogoo or Telinfa, so rough in pro-
nunclation that traveller Of the nation
speaking it before ruler of Bokhara
admitted that its sound resembled ''the
tossing of lot of pebbles in a SACK
A simile for scarlet stockings Is ire
hose-laughter is the sound you hear
when your hat blows off-and trying to
do business without advertising is like
"winking at girl IN the dark" An
unpoetical Yankee has described ladies'
lips as the glowing g.&. zay Of beans,
pork, saurkraut and potatoes. This
would provoke Marryat's exclamation
of Such q metaphor 1 never met
afore." Much more complimentary
was the old darkey's neat reply to a
beautiful young lady whom he offered
lift over the gutter, and who insisted
she was too heavy. ''I,or Missy" said
he, "I'se used to lifting barrels of
sugar" Wit from mans mouth Is
Ike a mouse In a hole; you may watch
the hole all day and no mouse come
out, but by and by, when no one is
looking for it. out pops the mouse and
streams across the parlor. Marrying
woman for money, says philosopher, is
very much like setting rat trap and
batting it with your own finger. An
American writer says: ga man with
one idea always puts me in mind of an
old goose trying to hatch out paving
stone" An EDITORS simile Of mans
career is summed up in the lines:
MANS a vapor full OF woes, starts
paper. burst and goes" We all recol-
lect how the Bath waters were asSocla-
ted in Weller's mind with the Flavor
Of warm fat-irons." The humorist
who created that character was often
Of a printers parenthesis by
the appearance Of q bowlegged child,
and the elongated pupils of a cats eyes
before a bright light were llkened by
him to "twn notes Of admiration.