Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
A Miserable Wife.

LES, proleSSOr, ain alfalu snail
have to rent or sell the farm. My
wife is so miserable. / cannot carry
it on without hiring, and hiring eats
up all the profits"
looked at the speaker admiringly.
He was about fifty, and as robust as
man of thirty. His whiskers were
neatly trimmed, showing full red
cheek. He wore a jaunty hat and
natty cutaway coat, and below his
vest hung a silk fob and heavy gold
seal. l was proud of him. He was
such perfect picture of the New
York gentleman from the rural dis
tricts that l wanted to imprint his
picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miserable?"
"Yes, kinder droopin', with dry
cough and no ambition. She jest
kinder drags around the house and
looks so peaked and scrawny it gives
me the blues. 1t does, / swan if it
don't"
"Naturally weakly, wasn't she?"
"She! Oh, no. When l married
her she was the smartest girl on the
creek. She u9ed to work for father,
and the way she made the work
stand around took my eye. She was
poor gal, and her industry got her
a rich husband"
Here he carelessly took out gold
watch, looked at the time, put it back
and adjusted the silk fob on the front
of his nicely fitting trousers.
$50 she did well getting married
on account of her industry?"
"Why, of course; she was getting
only $3.50 week, and she became
mistress of a farm"
"Excuse me; but how much are
you worth now, confdentially you
know; 1 am a scientific man, and
will never use such facts to your in
jury with the assessor"
"Well, professor, could crowd
$4,000 pretty hard"
''That is good. How long have you
been married."
"Thirty years next fourth of July.
We went down to Albany on little
teeter, and proposed the match and
Jane was willin'."
elbow much do you suppose you
have made in these thirty years."
"Hum-um-lemme see. Igot the
Davis farm the first ten years, and
then Irun in debt for the Simmons
place, got war prices for my cheese,
and squared up both places. Well, /
think / have cleared up 10000 since
we spliced."
every good, indeed. And your
wife has been great help to you all
this time"
ooh, you bet. She was rattler.
She took care of her baby and the
milk from twenty COWS. 1 tell you
she made the tinware flop. Why,
we have had tour children, and she
never had hired girl over six
months in that time!"
''Splendid! And you have cleared
100000 in that time?"
eyes, easy"
"Now, how much has your wife
made?"
"She, why, durn it, professor, she
is my wife,"
81 know it. But what has she
made? You say she was poor when
you married her. Now what has she
made?"
"Why, by gum, youbeat all. Why,
she is my wife and we own it all to-
gether."
"Do you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has a
horse and carriage when she wants
them? Then she has a servant maid
when she wants Then she rides
out for her health, and has watch
and chain of gold as you do. Is that
500"
professor, you must be crazy
Nobody's wife is boss in that shape
Who ever heard of such thing?"
"Now, look here. You said she
did well in marrying rich, and l can.
not see it. Ifshe was getting $3.50
per week when you married her, and
had saved her wages, she would have
had $4,000. If she had invested il
she would have had $1,000. Now
you tell me she is broken down, useC
up and miserable, and looks 50 baC
she makes you sick, and she has NJ
money, no help, and will get proba
bly, nothing but a Scotch granite
tombstone when she dies?n