davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1886-07-20

l never heard of a finer piece of wit
and repartee than was told me the other
day by a minister from the south, in
volving two of his brother ministers,
whom l will call White and Green.
Rev. White had recently been honored
with the title of d. d., and really de
served it, not only for his learning but
for his piety, which was of a particularly
marked and gentle type. Rev. Green
was of a jealous disposition and some
thing Of an upstart, and on meeting one
day with Rev. White undertook to belit-
tie his new honors by telling him that
the title of ID. ID. was conferred so indis-
criminately and so frequently nowadays
that it didn't amount t. a great deal,
anyway. If this indecorous and I'M
brotherly assault offended or nettled
Rev. White it was not the least visible,
and to this day no one knows whether
he was even conscious of the crushing
repartee which he then got off. He as
sented in the mildest and most dispas-
sionate name imaginable to what Rev.
Green had said, and then added, in a
sort of absent-minded may: AS you say,
the title has got to be 80 common that a
minister who hasn't got it isn't anybody
at all ."-Chicago Journal.
, 1886-07-20
A LITTLE SUFFERER
cI,ansed, Purified and Reauiihed by the
~cufIoura Remedies.

1t affords me pleasure to give you this
report Of the cure OF u little grandchild
by your Cuticura Remedies. When six
and had every appearance oil a large boil.
We poulticed 1t, but all to no purpose.
About five months after it became n run
ming sore. Soon other sores formed. He
then had two of them on each hand, and
as his blood became more and more i'm
pure it took less time for them to break
out. A sore came on the chin, beneath
the under lip, which was very offensive.
His head was one solid scab discharging a
great deal. This was his condition at -
months old, when | undertook the care of
him, his mother having died when he was
a little more than a year old, of consump-
ton (scrofula, of c%ourse). He could walk
a little, but could not get up if he fell
down, and could not move when in bed,
having no use in his hands. immedia-
tely commenced with the Cuticara Rene
dies, using the Cuticura and Cuticura
Soap freely, and when he had taken one
bottle of the Cuticura Resolvent his head
was completely cured, and he was improv-
ed in every way. We were very much
encouraged, and continued the use OF the
Remedies Tor a year and a half. One sore
after another healed, a bony matter form
ing in each one of these five deep ones
Just before healing. which would finally
grow loose and were taken out; then they
would heal rapidly. One of these ugly
bone formations | preserved. After taking
a dozen and n half bottles he was compile
tely cured, and is now at the age of 6
years a strong and healthy child. The
scars on his hands must always remain;
his hands are strong, though we once
feared he would never be able to use
them. All that physicians did for him did
him no good. All who saw the child before
using the Cuticura Remedies and see the
child now consider it a wonderful cure. If
the above facts are of any use to you. you
are at liberty to use them. Mrs. Il. S.
briggs, 6l2 Clay St., Bloomington, III.
May 9, 1885.
The child was really in a worse condi-
ton than he appeared to his grandmother,
who being with him ever day became ac-
customed to the disease. Maggie Hopping
Sold everywhere: Cuticura soc; CUT
cura Soap, an exquisite skin beautiier.
25c; Cuticura Resolvent, the new blood
purifier, 81. Prepared by the Potter Drug
and Chemical Company. Boston.
Send for How to Cure Skin Diseases"
NshING, scaly, pimply and oily skin beau.
ssssuied by the Cuticura Soap.
, 1886-07-20

and what the small sum of twenty five
cents will do if properly invested. Ask
any person the question, what is the dear
est and most precious thing to you, and
the answer is most universally the same
life and health. Where, then, is twenty
five cents or any other sum more powerful
or valuable to you, than in saving life.
That is the precise cost of a bottle of
Chamberlain Collie, Cholera and Diar
rhea Remedy. the great life saver. 1t is
made for bowel complaints and nothing
else. and is pleasant to take and certain to
curc. Sold by w. N. Hunt.
, 1886-07-20

A certain young lady living in WASH
ington earns d fine salary by teaching
American small talk to those young at
taches who are great beaux in society.
Her plan is simple enough. Her pupil
calls, is received, and converses with his
hostess teacher for two hours. The talk
is confined to drawing-room topics. This
wicked young teacher taught six young
fellows precisely the same round of
pretty and witty phrases, and at a certain
grand ball they were lowering around
one of the youngest and most popular of
the Washington girls, and each and
every one was saying the same things to
her. - Washington Cor. New Orleans
Picayune.
, 1886-07-20
ne-tral Nights, Days Free from Tor.

Await the rheumatic sufferer who resorts
to Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. That
this b~enignant cordial and depurent is a
far more reliable remedy than colchicunl
and other polsons used to expel the rheu-
matte virus from the hood, is a fact that
experience has satisfactorily demonstrated
1t also enjoys the advantage of being
unlike Unexpectedly safe. With many
persons a certain pr~edisposition to rheu-
matism exists, which renders them liable
to its attacks after exposure in wet wealth
er, to currents of air. changes OF tempera-
ture, or to cold when the body is hot.
Such persons should take a wine glass or
two of the Bitters as soon as possible after
mourning risk from the above causes, as
this protective effectually nuliiies the hurt
full influence. For the functional derange
ments which accompany rheumatism, such
as collie, spasms in the stomach. %palpita-
ton of the heart, imperfect digestion,
&c, the Bitters is also II most useful
remedy. 1t is only necessary in obstinate
cases to use it with persistcncy.
, 1886-07-20

Professor Theodore Gill, Of the Smith
sonian Institution, says of the bull or
pine snake, which is found in many parts
of the country: "This reptile has become
notorious on account of the sound it
emits. 1t is very much like the low bel
low of a bull, and to this the snake owes
one of its names. This is caused by the
fact that the epiglottis, an organ absent
or represented only by a tubercle in all
other serpents, is abnormally developed
in the bull snake. Chicago Ledger.
, 1886-07-20

An old bachelor in Berlin has for
many years past been engaged in form
ing a coll. .tion Of boot and shoe heels,
of which he has now over 1000, which
are exposed to view in a hadsome glass
case, and numbered and c~atalogued with
the dates and names of the original own
ers. The notion was first suggested to
him on the 9th of June, 1851, when On a
visit to the ancient castle of Kinast in
company of a beautiful Swedish lady,
who lost the heel off one of her boots.
That particular boot heel became the
first and most valued item in the entire
collection Chicago Herald.
, 1886-07-20

Under the title Ia Fin de SATAN a
posthumous poem by Victor Hugo re-
Gently appeared in Paris. The work is
described as partly philosophical and
partly religious. The theme is the entry
Of Christ into Jerusalem, the scene in
the pr@torium and TIE release of Barab-
has. Barabbas wanders about Jerusalem
and at nightfall finds himself in Col
gotha before the cross, when, overcome
by a feeling of awe at the magnitude of
the sacrifice, he soliloquizes in a passage
described as of surprising power and
beauty Chicago Journal.
, 1886-07-20

The extreme richness of the milk of
the reindeer, that feed on the wild MOSES
of Sweden, has led to an examination OF
the moss as an article of food. These
researches have resulted in the establish
ment of a number of moss-dealers in
Russia and Sweden, and a prosperous and
growing interest has been developed.
The moss employed yields, on the average,
as much alcohol as good grain, and three
times as much as potatoes. The supply
is practically i~nexhaustible, as it is
spread over vast tracts, extending from
the Baltic to Behring straits. Chicago
Herald
, 1886-07-20

Mr.. 7. w. Atkins, Girard, Kas.
writes: II never hesitate to recommend
your Electric Bitters to my customers,
they give entire satisfaction and are rapid
sellers" Electric Bittcrs are the purest
and best medicine known and will posi-
lively cure Kidney and Liver complaints.
Purify the blood and regulate the bowels.
No family can afford to be without them.
They will save hundreds of dollars in doc
tors bills every year. Sold at fifty cents
a bottle by w. n. Hunt.
, 1886-07-20


One of the most serious trials of the
teacher, after all. is the painfully good
and painfully literal boy. A reading
class was at work in a Boston school not
long ago, and the piece selected was an
Address to the Mummy in Belzoni's
Museum, London" A pupil, one of those
serious, conscientious fellows, was called
upon to read the notes on the piece at
the bottom of the page. In these oc-
CURED the name Cheops, and the pro-
nunciation was spelled and inclosed in
brackets. This is how he read it: "Ac-
cording to Herodotus, the great pyramid,
so-called, was built by Cheops (pro-
nounced Keops)." Perhaps it was an
other type of a child who was requested
to give five important uses of rivers.
This is one use he ingeniously manufact-
ured; when you lose a hat off in the
water you car go out in a boat and get
it.r-Boston Budget.
, 1886-07-20

1t is stated IN good medical authority
that the application Of a solution of mem
thol in ether applied to carbuncles, boils
or other iniammatory troubles, will, in
many instances, entirely avert them.
The solutions that have been used vary
from 10 to so per cent. of menthol, and
application is made by a camel's hair
brush to the affected portion.-Chicago
Journal.
, 1886-07-20

Warm water is now supplied at the
rate of 175, 900 gallons per day at Pesth,
from an artesian well said to be about
1900 feet deep, and the deepest in the
world. The temperature of the water is
161 degrees, but the work is to be con-
tinued until the temperature rises to 17S
degrees. 1t is expected that the supply
will also then be ample for all the want
Of the city.-Foreign Letter.
, 1886-07-20

Exactly expresses the condition of thou
sands of people at this season. The
Oppressive effects of warm weather, and
the weak condition Of the body. can only
be corrected by the use of a reliable tonic
and blood purifier like Hoods Sarsapar-
lila. Why suffer longer when a remedy
is so close at hand? Take Hoods Sarsa.
parilla now. 1t will give you untold
wealth in health, strength and energy.
, 1886-07-20

He had been out for a days fishing,
and as he proudly displayed the contents
of his basket to his wife, she exclaimed:
"Oh, John, aren't they beauties! But
I've been 80 anxious for the past hour,
dearl"
Foolish little onel" said John, caress-
ingly; why, what could have happened
to me?r
"oh, l didn't worry about you love;
but it grew so late l was afraid that be-
fore you got back to town the fish-markets
would all be closed. "-Harper's Bazaar.
, 1886-07-20

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever,
sores, letter, chapped hands. chilblains,
corns and all skin cruptiops. and positively
cures piles, oil nc pay required. 1t is
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, oil
money refunded. Price % cents per box.
For sale by W N. Hunt.
, 1886-07-20
Notice for Publication.

LAND OFFICE Al CHEYENNE. l
Nyo June -. iesG, I
Notice Is hereby given that the following
named vettier has fled notice OF his intention
TO make final proof support of his claim. and
that said proof will be made before the register
and receiver OF the Ian ofice at Cheyenne.
u yo.. Ter July n, ls56. viz =. Henry s-toy-,
u =. 1919, Tor the lots 1 and 2, and : Of ne
u , I section 2, In township II. u Of range q W
lie nani.s the following witnesses TO prove his
continuous residence upon. and cultivation OF
said land, VIZ Mum Nicholson, ~ Bolln Her
Wye.
EDGAR s. WILSON. Reelster.
, 1886-07-20

- Weak Back, Pam and Weakness
AN scross the kidneys, shooting pains
TIA trough the loins, uterine pains,
NJ lack Of strength and activity, iu-
stantly relieved and speedily cured by the
Cuticura Anti Pain Plaster. At druggists,
25 cents.
, 1886-07-20

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup should
always be used for children teething. 1t
soothes the child, soitens the gums, al
lays the pain, cures wind collie. and is the
best rem ,dy for diarrhea. Twenty-Five
cents a bottle.
, 1886-07-20

Sowo the Children. They are es.
oNSS p%ecially liable to sudden
Colds, Coughs, Group, Whooping Cough,
etc. We guarantee Ackcr's English
Remedy n positive cure. Il saves
hours of anxious watching. Sold by
Pearse 4 McGill, Druggists.
, 1886-07-20
pS- CAPITAL PRIZE $4,000 "a
Tickets only IS. Shares IN proportion
Louisiana State Lottery Comply

=, We do hereby certify that ioe supervise all The
arrangements for The Monthly and Quarterly
drawings or the Louisfdnd state Lottery Con-
pdny, and In person manage and control the
Drawings hemsiercs, and that The san c are con-
Quoted ipith honesty, Jairness, and in good Jdth
fotodrd all parties, and nee authorize The CODi-
pdny 10 use his certificate, icith fucsimiies Of our
signatures attached, IN is advertisements"
, 1886-07-20

FREE LI 1an,0SSssSS.ndss s,f e, cases Ss, Of
and physical weakness, lost manhood, nervous
prcstration, result OF lndiscrction, excuses 70
any other cau.e. cured by N%-rvtsr, strong
latin that II VIII cure every case prompts me
postage, etc. Dr. A. q. OLrS. box 2t2. Chicago
, 1886-07-20


We the undersigned Banks and Bankers will
pay all prizes drawn in The louisiana State
Lotteries which may be presented ut our coun-
tiers
J. y. Oglesby, Pres. Louisiana National Bank.
J. w. kilbreth. Pres. State National Bank
A. Baldwin. Pres. New Orleans National Bank.
Incorporated In 1862 for % years by the Leg
~islature for Educational and Charlta' le pur-
poses-with a capital OF 81, 900. U0-to which a
reserve fund Of over s5JO,0oo has since been
added.
By an overwhelming popular vote its fran
chise was made a part OF the present State Con-
~stitution adopted December ID. A. d. 1879.
TIE only Lottery eper rofed on and endorsed
BY The people Of amp State.
II nerer Scales or Iostpones.
Its Grand Single Number Drawings take
place monthly, and the Extraordinary Draw
ings regularly every three months instead OF
Semi-Annually AS heretofore, beginning March.
1896.
SPLENDID OPPORTUNITY To WIN A
FORTUNE. Eighth Grand Drawing. Glass
H. In the ACADEMY OF Music. NEW
ORLEANS. TUESDAY. AUGUST 10. 1856.
-la5th Monthly Drawipg
CAPITAL PRIZE, $500
LOG. 600 Tickets at Five Do lars Eae..
Fractions. in Fifths In proportion.
, 1886-07-20

i,96I Prizes. amounting to...................... s215, SEQ
Ap LEGATION for rates to clubs should be made
leans.
For further information write clearly. giving
iull address.
Postal Notes. Express Money Orders. or New
YORK Exchange in ordinary letter. Currency by
express at our expense) addressed
NJ. A. DAUPHIN, New Orleans. La.
Or NJ. A. DAuPHIN. Washington, u c.
Make P. 0. Money Orders payable and
address Registered Letters 10
NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL BANK.
New Orleans. La.
, 1886-07-20
A Great Victory
A Terrible Case of Scrofula
Cured by
Hoods ~SarsapariIla

"In the winter Of 1870 l was attacked with
Scrofula in one Of the most a%ggravating forms.
At one time I had no less than thirteen large
assesses over and around my neck and throat.
continually exuding an offensive mass OF
bloody matter disgusting to behold, and
almosti ntolerable to endure. 1t is impossible
to fully describe my sufferings, as the case
was complicated with Chronic Catarrh. After
three years Of mIseEy, having been treated by
three physicians, I was worse than ever.
Finally, on the recommendation OF W. j.
Huntley. druggist, Of Lockport, l was induced
to try Hoods Sarsaparilla. And now, after
having taken twelve bottles, within the last
twelve months, the scrofulous eruptions have
entirely ceased, and the Assesses have all
disappeared, except the unsightly sears, which
are daily becoming smaller by degrees, and
beautifully less / do not know what 1t may
have done for others, but l do know that In
my case, Hoods Sarsanarilla has proved an
my. gratitude 1 send these facts unsolicited,
and I am ready to verify the authenticity Of
this cure, by personal correspondence with
any one who doubts it," CHARLES A. Rob-
ERTs, East Wilson, N. Y.
This statement is confirmed by W. J. Hunt
ley, druggist, OF Lockport, N. Y, who calls the
cure a great v~ictory for Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Send for book giving statements o fmany cures.
Hoods ~SarsapariIIa
sold by all druggists. 81; six for s5. Made
only by @. I. HOOD g. CO, Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar.
, 1886-07-20

The power to carr is a boon. The will
to save is a virtue. -Signor Max.
, 1886-07-20

v. S. Glafcke, the florist, telephone
No. 6S. Artistic floral work a specially.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-04-29

know the whereabouts of her husband,
who was on certain committee: SIS Mr..
Blank attending meeting this EVENING"
asked the reporter. mo, sir. He went to
the meeting, but an hour since he came
back and said the committee had adjourn
ed sine qua non, and said he was going
downtown. You'll find him at one of the
hotels.''
Citizen: lust think of the deception
practice every day. Why, it's dreadful.
Now, if you could make $3.50 by lie your
sense of honor wouldn't allow you to do it,
would 1T, washington Jackson?" Dunno,
boss-dunno. Seems to me dat am a
matter oh bisness wharin honah amt got
muffin to say. Say, boss, who's de man wild
de $780,
Proprietor to clerk: "Well, Whitley, I
guess the first thing you may do this
morning is to take them 10-cent collars
an smoke them little, an put UNI in the
winder with this card I've written. I
want to sell um off, if I kin fore they get
out of STYLE"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-04-29
Lord R0Sebery a Primrose.
London Correspondence.

When the idea of racing bankrupt of
but few years ago being made Secretary
Of state for foreign affairs; for that was
virtually the financial and social condi-
ton of the Earl of Rosebery iu 1877,
when he paid up his turf debts by mar
rage with Miss Rothschild. Apropos of
Lord Rosebery, I have been told-with
what truth [ am unable to say-that he
once behaved in most dishonorable way
to Miss Duncan, of New York. He had
gone out on Understanding to America,
like the common run of impoverished
peers with coronet for sale to American
papas, and had become engaged to Miss
Duncan, whose father was one of the SOL
id men of New York. Before the mar
riage took place rumors reached the earl,
who had come back to England that Mr..
Duncan was in financial difficulties. Like
a shot he wrote to break the engagement.
As Mr.. Duncan shortly after thoroughly
relnstated himself, the difficulty being but
a temporary one, it was rather sell for
Lord Rosebery, whose real motives had
been SO completely given away, for Miss
Duncan was as beautiful and refined as
she was rich, and about as complete OPP
poslte to Miss Rothschild- whose purse
afterward came to the noble earl's rescue
from lgnomous baukruptcy-a one can
imagine. Lord Rosebery is a great friend
and toady of Gladstone, and that togeth-
er with his alliance by marriage with the
money power of the Rothschilds, has got
him recognition. 1t is a curious thing
that Lord Rosebery's family name is
Primrose, and that with such tory pat
rouicymic he should be 80 pronounced a
radical
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-04-29
4 Nebraska Railway Accident,

Lincoln, Neb., April 15.-This morning
a nOrth-bound train on the Republican
Valley Railroad, running between Omaha
and Marysvile. Kan, was wrecked near
OketO, fifteen miles south of Beatrice, this
State, and two coaches were thrown from
the track into Blue River, where the
water was about six feet deep.
The train was rounding curve near the
bridge when one of the rails tipped, and
in twinkling the train was in the water
Avery one on board was hurt more OF
less.
A 4-year-old girl of Mrs. Smith, of
Oketo, was killed, and her babe was so in
jured that it will probably die.
INJURED.
j. A. Grasscup, II. A. Roster, and A
Ralphail slightly.
Paul Smith, aged AZ, and Mrs. Ida
Smith, severely.
Joson Moreledge, wrist cut.
Henry Benner, slightly.
George Heath, back hurt.
S. NJ. Coon shoulder injured.
Clinton Russell, oscar Russell. Fred
Hysenbach, and E. 81. Alden, slight hurt
The cars burst open and let the passen-
gers escape from the water.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-04-29
Two Blind Singers.
New York Times.

Among the immigrants who landed al
Castle Garden yesterday were two blind
Swedes who are on their way to Carver
Mimi, where they are to sing in a Luth-
eran church. John Bergerson and Johan-
IA Johnson are their names. Each is %
years old, and both have excellent voices
The man is also an accomplished organ
ist. Sven Suenberge, Swede, who came
here thirty years ago and serued as a sol
der during the war, recently went home
on visit. While in Sweden he met the
blind people and wrote about them to the
pastor of his church at Carver. The lat
ter promised to do all that he could for
the pair, as singers were in great demand
in that part of Minnesota. They will help
to support themselves by basket-making
and worsted work.