Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-06-07
81 IGN s..

A Sioux Indian is in college near Alexan-
dria, Va, studying to be a tobacco sign
Tid-Bits.
An enterprising reporter, writing up a
wreck at sea, stated that no less than four
of the crew and passengers bit the dust
Texas Siftings.
Paul (who is permitted to ask the blessing)
-''God bless Aunty and the girls. and me,
teo and bless all that is on this table, except
the cookies, which are not very good
Life.
In weak state.-Landlady- coffee,
I am sorry to say, is exhausted. Mr.. Smith. ,
Boarder Smith-"Ah yes, poor thing. Twas
expecting that; I've noticed that for some
time it hasn't been strong. ."-Texss Siftings
"Yo' say dey pumps dat ar coal lie outer
de yarth? Den, honey, you look out for fun
one O. desc daysl Fer when de lie all clear
gone often the yarths axle she boun' to gel
a-fire, and den prophesy be Established shuat
'nuffl"-Life.
Young Wife-'.Mr. Poisson, wish some
nice smelts for dinner to-day" Mr.. Poisson
Zone will be plenty, for only last week
l ordered two salmon and there was a grea
deal too much. Life.
'sNo, sir,'' remarked the irate customer
| banging the bottle down upon the drug store
showcase; 81 don't want any more of Potti
Liver Cure" Its very good remedy
sir,' suggested the clerk, timidly. eyes
may be it is for Potts liver. Probably it is
But it wasn't worth a cent for mine. ~
Puck.
| Buttons-Letter, sir. Bearer wants g
answer Mr.. Bumptious Bloward (who has
| 'sgot on'0-Don't speak like that, you dread
| full boy. You never hear me say ''a an.
swer'' Buttons-No, sir; you puts hatch
| in, sir. 'Tain't your fault, sir; there weren't
| no school board when you was boy, sir.
| Sacked. Fun.
preventing hydrophobia superior to Pas
| tours" Inventor-''Yes, sir-simplest thing
| in the world, too assure you" Doctor
| ssBy jove, there's money in thing like that
and fame. What's your ideaF' Inventor
| ''Why, make the dogs wear false teeth. -
Lowell Citizen.
Says the Burlington (Vt.) Free Press, ''We
| find alderman in the dictionary, but moi
| DOODLE How is thisa' They are still very
green up in the Green Mountain State. Isn'l
our esteemed contemporary aware that the
presence of the "alderman" is satisfactory
reason for the absence of tho 'sboodle?'-
Boston Transcript.
The editor of the Atchison Times recently
| ran for the proud position of school director
| Adverse fate or contumacious voters did moi
| permit him to reach the goal of his desire
out Gn6 unOaunIeu SplTlG B6uG OpG 70 tue
world the following announcement: "Ihans
God we have still a rich heritage to leave
| eur children-the memory OF their fathers
virtues. Chicago Times
Confucian Philosophy.-In the last epistle
of Confucius to his friend, Con Lung, still
preserved in the archives at Pekin, occur
the following imaxims. They will be found
original Do not send the beggar away from
your door-let him stand there as long as be
pleases. Cast something into every temple
plate that is brought to you-if it is only
your eyes. Lay up your money for rainy
day-it rains every day somewhere in the
| world. Look not upon the wine when it is
red-red wines are never the best. Pre-
serve your faith in mankind-but o, women
kind Bet not your cash on horse race
| borrow your height or's cash and bet that
Where you owe penny, pay it at once
where you owe dollars it is different thing.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can
hire some body else to do to-day.-Tidbits.