The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1886-03-13
Some "Dont's" For Husbands.

keep your supper as warm as toasts In the
oven for you. She enjoys your tardiness.
Don't hurry. It's vulgar to hurry.
Don't begin to eat your breakfast as
soon as you sit down at the table. Bury
yourself in the morning papers first for
fifteen minutes. Then your breakfast will
be nice and cold and less liable to give you
the dyspepsia. Your wife enjoys eating
hers in silence, and then seeing you bolt
yours. 1t increases feminine amiability.
Don't hesitate to remark on the thinness
of the coffee and the toughness of the
steak. Remarks on the dement's of the
food are encouraging to young housekeep-
ers, and an accomplished cook. may thereby
be made of an inexperienced and amiable
wife.
Don't hang up the towel when you have
finished using it Toss it lightly to the
top of picture-frame or on the headboard
of the bedstead Your wife expects to
put it in the clothes hamper anyway, and by
the time she has walked few yards on
the bed-springs, or joyfully rescued it from
the picture, she will be pleasantly remind
of the hamper and of-you.
Don't neglect to kick up row if your
buttons are not all on and your underwear
in perfect order. Don't spare any pains
to encourage habits of domesticity in your
wife. Manly exertions in this direction
have been known to transform light
hearted girl into an Incompatible house
keeper.
Don't allow the presence of company to
interfere with your appreciation OF your
wife's perfection in housekeeping. If you
see dust on the mantelpiece, wipe it care
fully away with your pocket-handkerchief.
You will at once inspire your friends with
admiration for your thoughtfulness.
Don't be tight-mouthed about the affairs
of your own home If the cook puts too
much butter on the steak, call her in at
once and reprimand her in stentorian tones.
You support the house and it is your priv
ilege Don't forget that you are the cap
tain.
Don't feel any hesitancy in inquiring OF
your wife what she did with the 81 you
gave her four weeks ago. Carelessness in
money-matters has been known to engender
extravaganza of very serious nature in
women. Never forget the old sayings that
"a woman can throw out of the back door
with spoon more than man can pitch
into the front door with shovel, and
"wilful waste brings woeful want"
Don't contract habit of telling your
wife where you go when you are out at
nights The female mind is very suscepti-
BILE, and what she don't know won't trouble
her.
Don't fail to break up few articles Of
furniture the first time she reads one OF
your letters or looks into your pockets.
The exercise may not be agreeable, but the
impression you make may do you good
turn in the future, as she is liable to find
something she would not approve of in
them.
Don't trouble yourself to look very
thoroughly for anything you can't find be-
cause you might find it, and thus interfere
with her prerogative.
Don't refuse an invitation to the theatre
on your wifes account. Don't mind about
sending her word, and 60 right from your
place of business. She will conclude by
10 o'clock that you are not coming any way,
and if she sits up aud rocks the baby till
II o'clock she will be the more glad to see
you when you do come.
Don't deny yourself the pleasure of be-
ing well dressed at all times. You are a
business man and it is your duty. To be
a man among men it is necessary that you
be we'll dressed. If your family love you
they will desire you to look like a gentle
man at whatever sacrifice of comforts and
necessaries on their part.
Don't contract the habit of waking easily.
You will often be annoyed by the children
if you do, and when your wife rises in the
morning to build the fire she feels as fresh
as bird, and she loves to see you enjoy
ing the refreshing slumber of an innocent
child. Don't let her know you are awake,
Don't allow your wife to handle any
money in running the house. Pay all the
bills yourself, and then you know just
where all the money goes to. Women are
not experienced in monetary matters. They
are liable to pay their lady friends car fare,
and they are fond of ribbons. Some are
even addicted to foreign missions.
Don't be too much interested in your
wife's ailments. Headache, neuralgia and
pains in the back are common to the femi-
nine constitution. Tell her SO, and in time
she may become quite heroic. Sympathy
generates hypochondria in many cases.
Always suggest disordered liver-it may
have a soothing influence.
Don't permit your wife to question the
propriety of your drinking with your
friends. Ask her why does she drink tea!
"Tea?'' "Yes, tea!'' That is a knockdown
argument.