Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-11-07


A RECKLESS WASTE or RAW
A MARYLAND paper chronicles the sad fate
Of a Mr.. Bunting, WHO was run over Dy
train and had w Of his legs cut OF IL
Mr.. Bunting isn't more economical with bus
Ices. first thing he knows he'll have to go
lame.
OVERHEARD IN A LUNATIc ASYLUM
1t is true, my son, there is always room at
the top, but nobody wants It when he goes 70
a hotel. And the great trouble with the
| strawberry box Is that there Is 50 little room
at the bottom--Theb best sculler often stands
at the foot of the claS-Never buy a ther-
mometer because it is low.--The Romans
call a day dies, just to kill time, prob
ably.-The hens in the barnyard and
bellies in the ballroom have their
W set-The woman whose head is
turned by fattery would feel much
1atter if she heard what is said when her back
is turned.-Women do not swear, but the
profanest man in America would give IS
he could initiate the expression OF q good
woman when she hits her thumb with o ham.
mer and says, mercy o meIH-A mar
dreamed that his mother-in-law was dead and
laughed aloud in his sleep. The next morn
ing she came to his house with three trunks,
a yapor bath, a foot muff and two pugs.
Now he does not dare to go to sleep, and if be
should fall into a doEs from exhaustion he
shrieks with fright and awakes. He Is afraid
he will have another dream--It pleases DR..
Mary Walker il you say that you mister while
she was away.
MANAGEMENT OF SERVANTS.
It doesn't lie in some people to get along
with servants. They have nc tact, no knack
of managing. There is a great deal in man
aging a servant in such q way that the minion
isn't aware Of it. But some people don't
know how to do this, and consequently a
servant that is a jewel in my well regulated
household Is utterly useless in my ~neighbor's
service. Now, not long ago l had occasion
10 part with q colored man. l didn't want
TO cast him out upon the cold world, because
l feared that if the world got too cold he
would come back to me. So | unloaded him
upon a neighbor. l never had q ripple of
trouble with him. / had employed him
ostensibly to groom a horse occasionally
and NOW the lawn once or twice n
year. ! soon learned that he was running an
African dormitory and a poker layout in my
stable, and the general appearance Of my
premises finally brought me letters from the
American Missionary union, asking permits
sion to establish one of their Congo out sta
tions between my barn and the kitchen. This,
as much as anything else, induced me to part
with Albert. He shipped with me under the
nom de plume of Albert Wilson, but | no
ticcd that some of the natives called him
"Lame Jake" and he requested me, in writing
his letter of recommendation, to call him
Thompson EaSley. BY and by my ~neighbor
said to me: THAT man, Sam Norton, YOU
sent to me-did you ever have any troubi
with him!' l said no, never. "Well," sa!d
my n~eighbor, II can't get along with him.
Ho won't do one thing / ask him, not a thing
"Oh, well" l said, "he tried that OIL me, too,
when he first came, but | settled that in
short ORDER "How did you manager
asked my ~neighbor. "Well," l told him, Il
quit telling him to do anything" And do
o know my neighbor was real angry with
me, and abused me, and said | was a fool and
deceived him. You see, he had no tact. That
very night Albert landed on my coast again.
He conided to me that his real name was
James Sinclair, and he brought with him his
brother, whom he introduced as Walter
TAYLOR. They took up their old quarters in
the barn and boarded with me for a week
before / was able to secure them places in the
county work house. They both left me with
sincere regret, and Albert said, in parting,
that any time l wanted him to come back, a
letter addressed to Charles Martin would
reach him. Albert was a saddle colored
pagan, but ho was the richest man in names
| ever worked for. Robert j. Burdette.