The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-08-28
TRAVELLING RULES.
Suggestions for Women Who Go Out Into
the World in Steam-Cars.

suggestions for Women Who Go Out Into
the World in Steam-Cars.
First-Be sure you know where you
want to go before you get on the train.
Second-When you purchase your
ticket you will have to pay for it; no
use to tell the ticket agent to "charge
it and send the bill to your husband. y
And if he says the price of the ticket is
three dollars, don't tell him you can
get one just like it off the conductor or
at the other store for two dollars and a
half; he won't believe you and he might
laugh at you.
Third-Never travel without money.
1t requires broad views, liberal educa-
ton, keen dIscernment and profound
judgment to travel without money. No
one can do this successfully but tramps
and editors.
Fourth-Beware of the drummer.
Fifth-Don't give stranger your
ticket and ask him to 90 out and check
your trunk. He will usually be only
too glad to do it. And what is more,
he will do it, and your trunk will be so
effectually checked that it will never
catch up with you again. And when
the conductor asks you for your ticket,
and you relate to him the pleasing little
allegory about tic stranger and the
baggage, he will look incredulous and
smile down upon you with half-closed
romance, but he has heard it before
And then you will put up your jewelry
or disembark at the next station.
Sixth-If you are going three hun
dred miles don't try to get off the train
every fifteen minutes, under the im-
preston that you are there. If you
get there in twelve hours you will be
doing excellently.
Seventh-Call the brakeman soon
ductor;" he has grown proud since he
got his new uniform and it will flatter
him.
Eighth-Putyour hawl-strap, bundle
and two paper parcels in the hat rack;
hang your birdcage to the corner of it,
so that when it falls off it will drop
into the lap of the old gentleman sitting
behind you; stand your four house
plants on the window sill, set your
| lunch basket on the seat beside you,
fold your shawls on the top of it; carry
your pocket-book in one hand and hold
your silver mug in the other, put your
! two valises under the seat, and hold
your handbook and the rest of your
things in your lap. Then you will
have all your baggage handy, and
won't be worried or flustered about it
when you have only twenty-nine
seconds in which to change cars.
Ninth-Address the conductor every
ten minutes. 1t pleases him to have
you notice him. If you can't think Of
any new questions to ask him, ask the
same old ones every time. Always cal
him Say or ''Mister.''
Tenth-Pick up all the information
you can while travelling. Open the
window and look forward to see how
fast the engine is going. Then when
you get home you can tell the children
about the big cinder you picked up
with your eye, and how nice and warm
it was, and what it tasted like.
Eleventh-Don't hang your parasol
on the cord that passes down the mid
die of the car 1t isn't a clothes line.
1t looks like one, but it isn't.
Twelfth-Keep an eye on the pas
senger who calls the day after Mon
day ''Chewsday.' He can't be trusted
a cars length.
Thirteenth-If you want a nap,
always lie with your head projecting
over the end of the seat into the aisle.
Then everybody who goes up and down
the aisle will mash your hat, straighten
out your frizzles and knock off your
back hair. This will keep you from
sleeping so soundly that you will be
carried by your station. Toledo BLADE.