The Washington critic., 1886-12-20

GENERAL AND CRrrIoULaR.

GENERAL AND CRITICULAR.
Some weeks ago there appeared in this
column a choice bon mot (pure Parlsiau,
that is), let of by NJ. George Martin, who,
with Sig. Frank Carpenter, occupy the rooms
OF the late Charles Sumner on street. The
story in brief, IL you remember, was that
while the two able journalists were fixing q
CRATE, "Carp" told Martin the whole front
would tumble in and Martin remarked that
he was perfectly willing for Summers man
tie to fall on him. Well, the other evening
George was out In society and beautiful
girl called him into a party OF dozen or
more to tell him she had read something
about him while out West.
"What, prayf" asked George, with that
sweet, insinuatinu smile OF his, which
wanders over his face like rose-leaf blown
across n meadow.
"Why, that story where you and your
friend were liking your Office CRATE" sho
said, in doubtful tone.
"Ab, that was a pretty good story, wasn't
II You didn't think | was so brilliant,
did your"
"Thst was just what was worrying me-"
she replied, with considerable anxiety.
"pve been thinking Of that story for a
month and wondering what there was par
ticularly funny in your saying you wanted
Mr.. Summers mantlepiece to fall on you"
The light went out Of Georges eyes as ho
gazed into the dear, innocent face Of the
perplexed girl, and he went forth with
dull, heavy pain at his heart TO look up
diagram that would eli on mantelpiece.
Mr.. Tennysons late poem, "Locksley
Hall, Sixty Years After" reads good deal
as II the old hall was not only total
wreck, but that four or FIVE hundred la-
borers were inside, battering away at the
ruins with Il lot Of empty oyster cans.
Several days ago there appeared In the
daily press, notices OF fire swell board
ing-house up town, which destroyed $i00
worth Of clothing belonging to Colonel
Fred. Mussey Of the Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette. We were so stunned by the an-
nouncement that any newspaper man could
lose that amount OF clothing and still get
around without wearing barrel that we
were unable to make any comments. Yes
terday we saw the Colonel at church in q new
suit which fitted him so well that we at
once denied the rumor that 1t was borrowed
from Ben: Perley Poore aud hastened to
congratulate him on his temperance in
good society. We extend to him now our
warmest sympathy In this hour Of his be-
reavemeut, and also to the tailor who-but
why cause other tears to flow? Why open
the old wounds? Dust to dust! Ashes to
ashesl
Brush the clouds from off the blue
And let the glorious sunlight through.
Congressman Van Eaton made his first
appearance last night at the National
Theatre as leading support to Miss Anna
Eva Fay in the great spectacular play Of
"Spiritualism." Mr.. Van Eaton Is most
conscientious actor, and In those scenes
when he played closest to the star, there
was an ease and natural gracefulncss about
his work which gives promise that in time
Mr.. Van Eaton will be one Of the most giddy
attractions in the spectacular. lie has our
best wishes.
Mr.. A. A. Lipscomb has succeeded Mr..
II. T. Taggart as Assistant District Attor-
ney. Isaac vas came.
THE BALLAD OF A LOST VOTE.
The saddest thing that poet
Has ever sung or wrote,
Forsooth is that sad story
How Reagan lost his vote.
For months he had been waiting
With all his mind and viii,
To Give his mighty impetus
To Horizontal Bill.
And when the day had risen,
And every chance was fair,
They made the free trade roll call,
But Reagan wasn't there.
"oh, where, OH where, is Reagang'
The leaders cried in wrath;
Replied some tariff villain:
"He's at his annual bath.n
Down rushed they then, all yelling,
"Come, vote, that trade be free ~
Which hearing, rose up Reagan,
A Venus from the sea.
A dripping Texas Venus,
The blushing waves had kissed,
And from that pink complexion
Rose heavenward In mist.
HO, caitiffs, slaves and vassals ~
He yelled with angry shout,
"Bring hither me blanket,
And quickly let me out ~
have no time for dressing,
I'll 20 just rs | am,
want to bust Il tariff,
And / don't care d.
''My lord, there are no blanketsl'
The yassals cried. in main
"Oh, Blank 1t Blank 1t Blank II l'
Yelled Reagan once again.
Then grabbed he his apparel,
Defying every fate,
And rushed up to the chamber
Alas alas, too late
He stood there In his beauty,
Which, unadorned, they say,
Is most adorned, yet Reagan
Somehow was not that way.
He pleaded with the Speaker,
His pleading was In vain
''IIear me, ye wallsP' he shouted,
"1ll never bathe again v'
| The "Great Unwashed" they call us,
| 1t is fair renown,
| "The Great Unwashed l shall be--n
Then Reagan sat him down.
Just Received