The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1886-03-12
Here be, l tell you, in the soap barrel
Where do you suppose


In the soap barrel ? oueried Marsha.
One glance wss sufficient. Convulsed with
laughter, she seated herself on q stone Jar, ts
recover sufficiently TO render the needed assist.
ance.
| Marsha Ann Stuison What do you mean
Haven't learnt ycu never to laugh at other
foks's calamitics? And here you be laughing
right in your mothers face "
But, mother, I never saw you in soap.bar.
rel, before
'Tain't noways likely you will ever again, II
get out Of this one. Go out into the lot, and
| call your father and Jabe to come here rs Quick
as their legs'il fetch en-. But you needn't tell
them what's happened they'll find that out
quick enough when they get here
Marsha, once out Of her mothers sight, en-
joyed another hearty laugh, and ran to the
field for the men, who, dropping their rakes,
fastened toward the house.
Marsha waited at the top of the stairs, trying
to compose her countenance before entering the
presence Of her mother again but at last she
led the way fer Jabc, saying:
Mother has met with On accident down
here.
Peering through the darkness, honest Jabe
exclaimed, on beholding her mothers situation :
How did you get in there?'
ITS none of your business how came here.
I'm here, and have got to be got out, some way
or other. Where's your manners, Jabs Ifovey,
that you stand there and laugh at me in this
perdickerment?
'Perdickermentl should say it was soap
barrel, If was any judge.
What il It's Do you think I'm so big a
fool that l don't know what I've got into {!
Marsha, where's your father? Why don't he
come along?'
He is coming.
Yes, SOS Christmas And 1 s'pose il tho
house was on fire he wouldn't hurry a mite
quickeri
why, Judy said Mr.. Stutson, on entering
tho collar. Where on atth be ye, any yway?'
Where be /? Can't you see nothing
Better put on your spects and look in the soap
barrel Wal, I declare for it! Ell hain't
got to stand here and wait for another one to
haw-haw and gigglel For my part, don't
see nothing to laugh At. What are you think.
iug of, Giles Stutson, standing there laughing
like that at me? What kind Of use isit for me
to learn Marsha Ann to be respectful, when you,
her father, don't show me no respect!'
- Come, come, mother, don't scold. II you
could see yourself rs We can, you d laugh you
couldn't help Il. But'how came you 70 get in
(thera 3udy g Guess yen must have sct foul Of
that cider barrel.
Giles, what do you mean a-tslking so, when
you know was one Of the leading wlmmin in
the temperance cause; and the idee! Accusing
me right AFFORD own child Of doing such a
thing!'
Wal, Mrs. Stutson, how be you going to get
out asked Jabe.
That's what I'd like to know, Jabe! You
get that wash bench around here, so that can
have it to step on to and you take old Of this
side, and Giles, here, you take 'tother, and
when you :wo hist mo up, Marsha Ann can
scrape off the soap. Here, Giles, You ain
good for nothing Ye never was knee high to
| toad If ever git another man, Ill git one
that won't have to stand on a sheet Of paper to
reach a soap barrel =
After numerous attempts, Mrs. Stut,on was
part ally outside the barrel, with one knee rest
| ing on the top, when splash sho went back
again, spattering the soap in every direction, a
goodly portion lodging on Giles shirt front
while he, with the others, was enjoying another
hearty laugh.
Did ever see sich pack of fools " she ex.
| CLAIMED.
There's no use crying over split milk, Judy.
Split milk, and woman in q soap barrel, are
two different things, and you'll find it out SC
afore you git through
| : always told you, Judy, if you do little
| less scolding, and use q little more soft soap
you'd make good many more friends thar
you do now
| Wal, / guess I've got enough out this tim,
to suit you, and don't you never dare to SOY
soft soap to me again, just as long as you live
! After spending o great deal Of time ant
strengh, Mrs. Stutson was at last as far out O
her dilemma rs the wash bench and began com
mentiDg upon her own personal appearance.
who ever sec sich a looking critter? Calikel
dress all spilled, shoes, stockings, and the hui
rig.
She then ordered Jabs to get o tub Of water
and Masha to bring clean clothes. Mr.. Stutsor
had already gone for the meat rack, thinking il
would have been cheaper to put it up in tn,
first place than to have been hindered in thi
way, and wishing women folks would mint
their own business and let the men folks alon,
just look at this celler bottom = Mrs
Stutson exclaimed and this bench, and things
ltHl take q hull day to clean IL up as i
ought ter be, and oil this because the men folk
didn't tend to things as they orter.
But from that day to this, whenever Jud,
begins 10 scold, Mr.. Stutson says: "A leetl
soft soap, Judy, and Judy is silent.
MOTHERS REMEDY.-I would sugges
| in addition 10 Maru,s recinn nar cakef