The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-09-23

N--~-~--aefNAN~'
kiss me, too, Aunt Alice"
But the shock is succeeded by feeling of re-
lief as Aunt Alice calmly replies:
You should not say Kiss me two you Should
say Kiss me twice."
Always avoid harsh purgatiye pills. TLey first
make you sick and then leave you constpated.
Carters Little Liver Pills regulate the bowels
and make you well. Dose, one pill.
A little Washington girl upon whom the Presi-
DENTAL Inauguration made . deep impression,
SAID, while lnparting some information recently,
fegardng me Luther statue that she c9u.dn5
and Tie inauguration all mixed up!
Thousands of ladies have found relief by the
use of Lydia L. Pinkham's Vegetable Compotlr',
the only remedyfor diseases peculiar TO female
He-Do you know that you remind me very
much of the weather?
She--ln what respect?
He-You are 50 changeable.
Shells that so? Do you know don't see The
least resemblance between you and the weatEt ?
She-No, YOU are certainly not like the weatli,r =.
You know the weather is bright occasiona ~
you never are.
Vegetine is the king of cures for lameness and
weakness peculiar TO women. 1t always gives
relief
"Rachel, my tear, pring you vine engage
"But Isaac, its bcarl, und bearls are onlueky
Don't say a word, Rachel. l thought of dot,
und so take me an imitation Won out of stock"
EIy's Cream Balm was recommendation
me by my druggist as preventive to hay fever
Have been using it as directed since the 9th OF
August, and have found it specific for that much
dreaded and loathsome disease. For ten years
or more have been great sufferer each year,
from August 9th till frost, and have tried many
alleged remedies for its cure, but Ely's Cream
Balm is the only preventive have ever found.
Hay Fever sufferers ought to know of its eff
cacy, #. B. AINSWORTH,
OfFB. AINSWORTH & CO., Publishers,
Indianapolis, Ind
Adolphus-You know that beastly fellow, Cabs
Algcrnon-Ya-as, know the cnap. Why?
Adolphus-He ISLANDERS you; ban Jove! ne does.
Says your father usdd to be low fellal, team
stab.
Aigernon-Ah, WEAKLY?
Vdolphus-Ya-as, and that your mothaw Kept
small gr0cerWy Stoah.
Adolphus-And that you nevah pay your bills
Algernon-Well. aw, what of it?
Adolphus-And that you don't look the least bit
like an EngllShnan.
Algernon-Hold on there, chappie! Hold on,
We know! That's going little too fab. Where is
this fellah? I'll find him, and, II there's no othar
way to get satisfaction darnit, I'll have INN ar
vested. Not look like an Englishman, Ell? The
blawsted duffah I'll show him what look like.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, the
great medicine for the cure of all female COM
plants, is pleasant to take and efficacious.
''Shall you try to break his wl?" the caller
wanted to know, after the widow mad told nef
how the recently deceased had fixed the proper
ty and rather left her out
"Try?" the widow echoed as she smoothed out
her dress complacently; 81 don't think there VIII
be much try about it. didn't have any trouble
breaking his will when he was alive, and don't
think it's going to trouble me any this time"
If you are nervous or dyspeptic try Carriers Lit
tie Nerve Pills Dyspepsia makes you nervous,
and nervousness makes you dysyeptici either one
renders you miserable and these little pills VIII
cure both.
won't you join me in a duet?" she said, as
seated at the piano. she toyed with the leaves OF
Why said he, "dldn't you know that l have
had to give Up singing?
SIS it possible9"
fFYes,'' he said, Il spent last winter in Minnie
.sWhat has that to do with your giving up sing
ing2" ,.,,,;nu =, do with i Won know
sang entirely by ear. You know, or at least you
winter time. Last winter l had both my ears
frost bitten and ever since then LOST my aplllty
to sing by ear"