The Red Cloud chief., 1886-09-10
G ANECDOTES.
WIDe, Witty. and PunEent Sayings Of
Bench and Bar.

LEGAL
wise, witty. and Punsens Sayings Of
Bench and Bar.
The writer remembers hearing of a
gentleman. who. not wishing to pay the
legal and recognized fee for a cOnsulta-
ton with his lawyer, devised an expe-
dent whereby he expected to gain the
information lie required without the
usual cost He accordingly invited the
man LEARNED in the law" to dine at his
house on a particular evening, as a
friend and old acquaintance. The law
yer gladly accepted the invitation, and
attended at the house of his friend and
client prompt to the minute. The con-
versation for some time was very gener-
al aid agreeable, and by and by the
shrewd client, by limiting and suggest
ing, at last drew the lawyer out into 4
learned and explicit dissertation upon
the subject the host wished to be informed
upon. The client pleased, satisfied, and
smiling, chuckled in his sleeve, thinking
how nicely he had wormed out the adj
vice desired and pumped his lawyer free
of cost.
The feast over, the lawyer departed,
equally pleased, and, both being salts
fed, all went as merry as a marriage
bell. But q few days afterward the client
received a letter from his lawyer in
forming him that the charge for pro-
fesSonal consultation anu advice wal
Is shillings and 4 pence, and would he
''kindly attend to the payment of Same
ct his earliest convenience. and Oblige."
The client was wild-caught in his own
trap; but, being determined to outwit the
lawyer and gain his own ends, he for
warded to the latter a bill for ''dinner,
wines, and accessories supplied" on the
10th inst, amounting to Is shillings
and 4 pence, saying that if he would
settle inclosed bill he should only be too
pleased and happy to settle the lawyers
little bill. The lawyer retorted by
threatening to commence an action
agasnst mine host for selling wines
wi out a license unless his, the lawyers,
b walfmmediately paid. Do | need
td16y that the lawyer was victorious?
When I,was a boy, l heard of a law.
yer who was called up in the middle of
q cold winters night to draw out the
will of an old farmer who lived some
three miles away, and who was dying.
The messenger had brought a cart to
convey the lawyer to the farm, and the
latter in due time arrived at his desti-
nation. When he entered the house he
wasfmmediately ushered into the sick
room, and he then requested to be sup
piled with pen, ink, and paper. There
were none in the house! The lawyer
had not brought any himself, and what
was he to do? Any lcad-pencil? he in
quired. No; they had none. The farm
er was sinking fast, though quite con-
scious. At last the legal gentleman saw
ehafked up on the back of the bedroom
ds6r column upon column of figures in
chalk. They were milk scores" or
.sshots." He Immediately asked for a
piece of chalk, and then, kneeling on the
floor, he wrote out concisely upon the
smooth hearthstonc the last will and tes-
lament of the dying man. The farmer
subsequently died. The h%earthstone
will was sent to the principal registry in
London with special affidavit, and was
duly proved. the will being deposited in
the archives of the registry. may
mention that the law does nOs state
upon what substance or with what in.
strument a will must be written.
There Was once a plain, outspoken
Judge who, addressing the jury, said:
Gentlemen of the jury, in this case the
counsel on both sides are unintelligib,e,
the witnesses on both sides are incrcd-
ible, and the plaintiff and defendant are
both such bad characters that 10 me it
is-indifferent which way You give your
verdict"
1t was once reported to the notorious
Judge Jeffries that the Prince of Orange
was on the point of entering into the
country, and that he was already pre-.
pairing a manifesto as to his induce
ments and objects in so doing. Pray,
my lord chief justice" said q gentleman
present. ''what do you think will be the
heads of this manifesto?" mine will
be one" he grimly replied.
An undoubted alibi was some time
ago successfully proved in an American
court as follows:
"And you say you are innocent of the
change of stealing this rooster from Mr.
Iones?" queried the judge.
Eyes. sir; am inrocent-as innocent
Is a child"
"You are confident YOU did not steal
the rooster from Mr.. Jones?"
.'Yes, sir; and l can prove it"
'.How can you prove it,"
Il can prove that 1 didn't steal Mr..
Jones rooster, judge, because I stole
two hens from Mr.. Graston the same
night. and Jones lives five miles from
Grast0n's."
The proof is conclusive" said the
Judge; discharge the prisoner"
It is said that the other day a client
received the following bill from his law
yer: Attending and asking you how
you did. Is. 3d.; attending you on the
pieA when you desired me to look
through a piece of smoked glass, IS.
3d.; looking through the same. 6s: 3D.;
rubbing my eye, which watered, lis.
ID; attending at luncheon, ~.hen yon
praised the sandwiches and asked me
to partake thereof, 6s. 3d.; consulting
and asking my opinion thereof. when l
said they were very good, Gs. 3d." Most
probably the client treated this as a joke,