Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1886-04-16
CURRENT TOPICS.

CURRENT TOPICS.
sam JONES has quit using tobacco.
THE President admires "Mikado" music.
''SpARRow rIEs'' are a popular delicacy
st Philadelphia.
A TRAMP says his shoes, like corpora
tions,' have no soles.
'%'TE1ENYM7 is the newly-invented word
Tor telegraph address,
THE man who wants the earth eventually
gets it when he leaves it.
SHOOTING md manning a cat cost .
Bostonian fifty sad dollars.
THE Brazilians are said to be the most
hospitable people on the globe.
SoNE Dias Creek, N. j., planters report
half their oysters winter-killed.
Iowa proudly calls attention to the fact
that she has a citizen named Sheol.
LA x is the way a lazy man wrote La
crosse, Wis, in the address of a letter.
AN iron,jawed museum professor lifts a
barrel of water with his teeth. in Reading,
Pa.
STRAWBERRIES, raised in hot houses, are
in the New York market at five dollars u
quart.
SPRINGFIELD, Mass, proposes to turn one
OF its effete roller-skating Kinks into an
armory.
ASuaeEr of gold weighing forty-seven
ounces was taken out of a mine at Forest
City. Cal.
Ir Mrs. Morgan's peach-blow vase may
not be worth $4,000 as a vase, it may be as
an example.
SUMNER plans and projects are already
discussed in places where fashionable peo-
pie congregate.
A w~ELL-KNowN resident of sLambertviile,
n. j.. afirms that he has drank no water for
twelve years past.
Tar Lieutenant-Governor of Connecticut
receives the ~extravagant (?) salary OF five
hundred dollars per year.
A PENNSYLVANIA preacher left in his will
q sum of money to encourage the USE of
goat meat instead of pork.
"WuAT struck the steamer Oregon!" is
getting to be as perplexing all enigma as
Who struck Billy Patterson"
LASD in Connecticut upon which pine
trees were planted a few years ago is now
worth 500 an acre for it's timber.
I'iiH personal household o Queen Victoria
is composed Of over a thousand persons,
costing yearly a sum Of 81 ,945 600.
On all important public occasions Prince
bismarck prominently wears the Order of
Christ recently bestowed upon him by the
i'ope.
SENATOR JONES, it is said, is to return to
Washington. Miss Palm, the object of his
undying affection, left Detroit secretly some
.sime ago.
The Missouri National Greenback Labor.
Committee has issued a call for the State
nominating convention at Sedalia, Wednes-
day, June2.
TIE Maine experiment station shows by
analysis of patent ''egg'' and Seattle foods"
that their intrinsic value bears no relation
so their cost.
MINISTER HUBBARD, now in Japan, is one
o!the funniest story tellers in Texas, and
painfully calls his wife Mother Hubbard'
behind her back.
On has been discovered in Upper Egypt
in paying quantities. England now, more
than ever, will regret the failure of the
Soudan campaign.
NEW YoRK CITY has only 1orty-seven
dwelling houses which its fire department.
considers fire proof; seven are apartment
and twenty-one private houses.
NEARLY $4,000, OOO,O 900 would be due we're
all insured Americans to die at once.
Nearly Sl,00O,0O0,0W have already been
paid on death losses in America.
TIE Central Park Board, New York, has
decided to buy up a%ntiquated horses and
slaughter them to feed to the animals in
the Central Park, instead of using beef.
MIS-. CLARA d. RAYMOND, of Wilton,
Conn, is said to be the Oldest woman in the
State. She is remarkably we'll preserved,
aud expects to celebrate her 10th birthday
.Asnil 25.
sENAToK JOKES, of Florida, loses his sal
airy while s%ojourning in Detroit, and also
%forfpits the mileage which would AVE been
allowed for the distance between Pensacola
and Washington.
A FIR tree cut down on a ranch near.
Santa Rosa. CAL, contained inside of the
trunk eleven gallons of pure balsam of fir.
That was the amount saved, and it is
thought that as much was lost.
AN enormous Indian elephant, almost a
snatch for the late Jumbo, was recently put
to death in Hamburg, He had become vi
cious and dangerous. He was strangled
with chains being placed around his neck.
The statement of the President of the
British Board of Trade to the effect that no
ocean vessel carries sufficient lifeboat ac-
Communications will not tend to increase
ocean travel either now or in the near
future.
A RUSSIAN convict is said to have scr-
vived a punishment of 1000 lashes. AS
high a number as 1900 lashes is said 70
have been imposed in some cases, but nc
convict ever survived the int1iction of the
punishment.
A Cotton (Cal.) citizen tied one end of a
rope around his waist the other day. while
he lassoed a Texas steer with the other.
lie thought he had the animal, but at the
end Of the first 100 yard heath he found that