Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-08
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE is fortune in store for the man
who Will invent a hammock that won't re-
verse when woman gets into it.-NeD RaUen
Ntags.
TIE life of the average ballet dancer in the
opera is only about eighteen years, according
10 their own testimony-but they don't look it
by about half century. -NO1r'st' aon Herald.
Econ IMY is WEALTH.-"Shure. Michael.
they only bees wan shmall sup o. tn porr'dg
lift. VIII o. give it ter the pigor tn chider?"
Lave the pig have ut, Mary Ann. faith the
kids light thu bineft av ut when he's kilt
Puck.
A CARGO of Spanish chestnuts arrived in
New York last week. Another blow at our
best interests. Are the brilliant flashes of our
American cIrcuses 10 be driven to the poor
house by the pauper jokes Of Europe? Never.
-L0aOeH Cit,sen.
MoTHER-You naughty boy, if you keep on
you'll never go TO heaven.
Naughty Boy latter a whipping)-Bo no !
don't want 10 go, # angels wear golden slip
pers. Leather ones are hard enough for me-
bo- ho !-HdrDer'S BaSdr.
SIS that a Landseer, Mr. Cresus?" asked the
visitor. pauslng before the painting.
NO." replied the host; reckon It's a Dur
ham; see how broad it is between the horns,
and see the color and the curl on It's forehead.
That genuine Durham, sure. That ain't
no Landseer "-Burdette.
"BAILIFF." said an Arkansas Judge one
QaV lHSb week 10 Inc OlnCer IN chaT2e OF the
jury, "will Won please inform the jury that
there will be a horse race in Merrick's pas
turr at 3 o'clock?' The Jury had been out
for IS hours, but in less than 30 minutes they
came into court with verdict.-FechdN1e.
WE are in receipt of a circular announcing
the second annual gathering of the Billing
family. which is 10 take place in Boston on
Oct. 10. IL is a little singular that there
should not be 3 gathering at the same time of
the ''CooIng" family, between whom and the
Killings there been close determination
-Detrnit Free Pres.
IT is soid that Nova Scotia magistrate de-
layed proceedings in suit and justified his
delay as follows look here, if you know
anything about the first principles of law or
the Revised a'uTes, you must know that
five cl' ar days must elapse after the sum
mons is served, and IT'S been raining now for
three days AVID Itmay not clear up for week. :"
| Boston Journal
MRS. WIGGERs-Desr. DEAR I'm most dead,
but I'll have to go chop some wood.
Mrs. Niggers-Chop wood, indeed; why
don't your husband do thai?
"Oh, he never has time to do anything. He
writes in his study an hour every day and
has to rest after that"
'Humph! what's ne writing?"
"Another hook on the labor problem.'-
Omaha World.
JUDGE COFFEY IS rather getting his name
up for saying smart things. Some time ago a
| lawyer came before him on some question of
an estate. and advanced some extraordinary
| legal opinions. Judge Coffev took his ac-
counts. You are something Of an account
ant. are your"
ayes, your Honor; know little about
it"
"And YOU are familiar with real estate?"
"Yes, your Honor; ] know little about
| that"
"Ah-hem-well, if YOU only knew little
! about law. would Know little about every
thing, wouldn't you?"-Sdn Francisco ChrOali-
| Gle.
| CALLED BACK
Farewell, thou hat of straw. thou summer
| guest!
Go, with the birds that made the summer
| sweet,
| Fly to the lonely garret's dark retreat
| Or in some rayless closet seek thy rest:
! Hide thee in some safe place. for / am blest
! But | expect some day again to greet,
! When winters stormy reign of snow and
| seet
Hath passed away, thy braided, sun burned
| - crest. .ur
| For one more summe,ssseaside wear
| Here, will hi 'e thee safe from her foray
| Who giveth to the tramps my things. I'll
swear!
| This Is my only hat! Behold my woes!
! Come forth, for mus wear thee mauy day
! To shield my head from every blast that
blows. -Brookiun Edgle.