davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

II your life is made burden owing to
blackheads, pimplcs and other cruptions
on the face marring your beauty and
causing so much chagrin, it is no longer
necessary to endure it. DR.. Flagg's
Family Ointment will certainly remove
all such blemishes and leave your skin
soft. smooth and beautiful. Sold by all
druggists and mailed on receipt of price,
20c. Williams Mfg. Co., Props,
Cleveland, 0. Sold at Thomas drug
store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

Ny friend, do you suffer with malaria?
Almost any impure condition of the at
mosphere will induce it. Try Vinegar
Bitters as Il cure, and you will bless the
day you began its use. In less than a
month the Vinegar Bitters will chase
the last remnant of malarial poison out
of you blood, and you will feel like a
new person.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

Many people believe that where a
great deal is said something must be
true; they split the difference.
On the diffusion of education
among the people rests the preservation
and perVetuation Of our free instluI-
tions
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16
No Pate nt-No Pay.
PATENTS

obtained for Inventors In the United States
Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. with
our principal offico located In Washington,
directly opposite the United States Patent
Once, we are able TO attend to an patent
business with greater promptneSs and de
spatch and at less cost than other patent 1T
torneYs who are at q distance from WASH
ingtOn. and who have, there fore, To employ
- associate attorneys" We mako preliminary
examinations and furnish opinions as TO pas
tentability, free of charge, and all who arc
interested In new inventions and patents are
invited to send for a copy OF our ''uuide for
obtaining PatentR," which Is sent FREQ to
any address, and contains eOmplete instrue.
tions how TO obtain patents and other Valua.
BILE matter. We refer to the German A meT.
lean National Bank Washington, ID. q. the
Royal Swedish. Norwegian and Danish LcEa
tiOns, at Washing ton Hon. Jos. casey, lAte
Chei Justice U. =. Court OF Claims; 10 the
Officials OF the u. S Patent Once, and 70
Senators and Members Of Congress from
every state.
Address: LOUIS BAGGERk CO., So
licitors of Patents and AttorneysatIaW I.s.,
Drolt Building WAsHINGT0E. ID. q.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

The children's health must not be
neglected. Colds in the head and snuff
lung affections. Ely's Cream Balm
cures at once. Is is perfectly safe and
easily applied with the finger. 1t also
cures catarrh and hay fever, the worst
cases yielding to it in a short time.
Price 80 cents.
When two weeks old our child caught
cold. Fer eighteen months could not
breathe through her nostrils, became
emaciated. By using Ely's Cream Balm
she was cured J. NJ. Smith, Owcgo,
y. Y.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

The first cracks made in the smooth
surface Of friendship are as dangerous
as those which come to the sheeny satin
garment Of young married love. Free
doms Of speech and exactingness of at
tention, neglect of due forms, liberties
beyond the license of just intimacy, all
these are cracks to be stopped in the be-
ginning, else the time will come when
no masonry OF tact or Of affection can
not re- pnir them.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

To excel others is proof of talent
but to know when to conceal that SIT
pcriority is greater proof of pru-
dcncc.
TO find friends when We have no
need of them, and to want them when
we have, are both alike easy and com
mon.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

-"Quinsy troubled me for twenty
years. Since | started using DIR.
Thomas Eclectric Oil, have not had al
attack. The Oil cures sore throat al
once" Mrs. Letta Conrad, Standish
Mich.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16
Eealthfulness can be Preserved

in malarial districts by the powerful
tonic and Alternative effects of daily
dose of Simmons Liver Regulator, the
true malarial anLidote.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16
A Great CalSGGf Human Misery
On The Loss of
I'z'Z!!;;y!'I'Z'.K.ss'g's!ysY|'s!;' I { )

lecture On the nature, treatment an
radical cure Of Seminal Weak mess. or Spvr
'hatorrhTs. induced by Self Abuse, In
voluntary Emissions. TnpntencY, Nervou.
Debility, aud lmpedmrnts to Marriag.
generally; Consumption, Epilepsy and Fit,
Mental nni Physical Incaracily, &c B,
ROBERT j. CULVERWELL NJ. d.
The world renowned author, in this al
miracle lecture, clearly proves from hi
own experience that ttheawiul consequence
OF Self AGvse may be etiectually remove,
without dangerous surgical operations
b"ugles, instruments. rings or cordiale
painting out II mode oi cure at once crrtai
aud rilectual, by which every sufferer, II,
matter what his condition may be, ma,
cnre himself cheapIy, privately and rad
Iully.
EEs" This lecture will prove boom l..
thousands and thousands.
Sent under seal, in plain envelope. {,
any address, on receipt of four cents, or tw
postage stamps. Address
The CULYERNELL AEDICAL CO..
II Ann ST., New York, ".
Post Office 5ox. $50. mav2S ],
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

Sure cure for blind, bleeding and
itching piles. Ono box has cured the
worst case of 20 years standing, No one
need suffer five minutes after using
Williams Indian Pile Ointment. Ii alb
serbs tumors, allays itching of the pri-
yate parts, nothing else. Sold by drug
gis:S and mailed on receipt of price, 81.
Williams Mfg. Co., Prop's., Cleveland,
o. Sold at Thomas drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16
MISCELLANEOUS.
Of all the boys
Beneath the sun
Printers devils
Takes the bun.

An outerprising reporter, writing
of a wreck at sea, stated that mo less
than fourteen OF the unfortunate crew
bit the dust"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

Men are more civilized by their
pleasure than by their occupation.
Business dispensed not only with ccre-
mony, bit often with common ciyility;
AMI we should become rude, repulsiye,
and ungracious did VIC not recover in
our rccreations the ,rbsnity which in
the hustle of our labors We entirely dis
reCard
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

To succeed in any of life's cndeav-
ors. be our talents what they may, we
require perseverance,, decision and ten
acity of will to reach the full measure of
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16
To Young LADIES.

--Gool manners and good morals are
sworn friends and firm allies.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

The stubborn cases of dyspepsia and
sick headache yield to the regulating
an toning influences Of Hoods Sarsa-
parilla. Try II.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

Doctor Themes Ec.c5;ic Oil.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16
TRE GREAT ROCK IsLANH ROUTE
TIE FAMOUS ALBERT LEA ROUTE

PIssItanI ana aenaLaI llanae... ohIsaa0
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-16

coO'7'i I'.a1' NJ 7a.ao0l1' o'o0i' cFIoa1o'
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
skepticlsm in a Great City,

Strangers are quick to observe the
ridiculous skepticism which governs
personal conduct in New York. Two
Westerners were discussing the sub
lect with q resident, as they smoked
their cigars in a broadway hotel. The
latter was accompanied by fine King
Charles spaniel, worth, as fashionable
dogs go, not less than 500.
''I'll bet a bottle of wine and the ex-
penses, said one of the others, 'that
your dog won't sell for SIS in an hour il
offered for sale On the street in front Of
this hotel.o
The wager was made. A man in com
mon a1..41n was stationed within sight Of
the three eXperimenters to hold the
spaniel by a cord and iDdustriously Of
fer him for sale at SIS. He performed
his task faithfully, and plenty OF atten-
ton was paid to the dog by the passing
throng. The beast was scrutinized, ad-
mired and petted but nobody within
the hour would buy him. Had he been
labeled with ten times the price III the
window Of q dog store he would doubt
less have been purchased, but in the
hands OF q street vender, he was re-
garded as q fraud anyhow.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
An Assault With Thin Milk.

r. w McCracken, a slight youth,
With a broken head, came into the Ar
mory Court for a warrant.
Judge, sir. went into RESTRAINT on
Clark street an ordered some coffee an
bread. The waiter-girl brought me a
cup Of coffee an thinb1eful Of milk.
I axt her polite to bring me s'more
milk, an she brought me q hull pitcher
Of it. An I said polite that the milk
want no good, an she said unpolite
that they didn't give whipped cream
with cup Of coffee an bread an but
ter for five cents. Then the boss comes
up an says, watts dc roW?'
"'The milk's 10 good" said /, polite.
AN he took up the hull pitcher an
hit me on the head with it an broke'em
both, an, Judge, sir, if the milk hadn't
bin most water he'd q spilled all my
clothes. too, an l want warrant,
Judge, SIR
He got it, and James Norton is book
ed at the Armory for assault with in
tent to throw milk.-Chicago Tribune.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
Love and Its Duration.

Somebody who did not spend all his
time sitting around the house growing
/ at flies and raising blue chaos when
ever dinner WASH t ready to the minute
| has placed the opinion on record that
with a woman love is absolute reality,
! while with a man it is little more than
the commonest kind of a side show, and
| from what we have been able to CLEAN
from close and somewhat extendad
| observation of the peculiarities and &C.
! centricities of this prevalent passion,
we are persuaded that MS conclusion is
| one of the stubbornest facts that ever
| went unthrashed.
When a girl goes around looking like
a Salvation Army prima donna, with
no more style about her than an old
horse blanket, it is sure sign that love
has played smash with her prospects,
and when you behold damsel with
eyes like those OF damaged maekerel,
whose nose is blue at the tip and sharp
pointed from much weeping. shutfiing
around the house in ali old dress that
makes q man feel like fleeing to the
mountains, You can salt 1t down for
certainty that she wants TO marry
man too worthless TO make good fish
bait. Some night when least expected
she viii skip out by the light OF the
moon to elope with the scalawag, leay-
Ing more love In the home from which
she steals away than she will ever find
in his bosom, and from that time ON
she Is his TO command under all cir
eumstanees, no matter whether he
steals 4 horse or goes TO Congress. and
so long as he treats her half white moth
ing but the discovery that he has got
mashed on some other woman can ever
change her feelings toward him.
But how is 1t on the other side of the
carpet? 8 man falls in love the same
as mule goes down with sinking
bridge. Simply because he can't help
it, but it seldom does him any per
manent injury. The shape of a nose,
the sweep Of an eye or the wave of 3
curt trips him up and settles his hash
without an instant of warning, and |
there he IL, the bluest kind of 8 captive. |
until marriage or some new fascination
breaks the charm that binds him. He
is pretty sure to love like burning
brush heap while he IS about it. but the |
trouble is. his tame is too ardent TO be |
durable. He viii swear to q blue-eved |
sprite that he loves her for all eternity, /
and within three months after marriage |
he will go to bowling about her cook
ink and make her life purgatory with /
out a streak Of light. If she breaks /
down and dies of encouragement. as
not infreQaently happens, he will side
up to some other hour before the t
daisies bloom again, III total forgetfuI-
asss chat he ever lost a wink Of sleep by
being in love before Il lineage Ledger.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
Grants nameanor on Horsshaok.

IL January, 1882, | went to Cairo.
The place was q slough without limits,
and the human elements that wiggled
in the mud-hale were q bad lot. The
regiments were mostly of newly enlisted
men, discipline had no existence, whis-
ky supplied the place of water and
nearly everybody was drunk, getting
on drunk, or getting over drunk
There appeared TO be nobody In par
ticular who was in authority 0cca-
sionally mention was made Of Grant,
but not exactly, as if he were anything
more than rumor, myth, or some
thing of q wholly intangible nature.
Soon after my arrival a body OF troops
commenced crossing the Ohio river,
and the report went forth that it was a
move against Columbus. I could OBJ
tain no horse, and accompanied the
columns on foot. The weather was
damp and nippingly cold. the mud deep,
and the route. which was mainly
through q timbered country, was OBJ
s5ructed by logs and fallen trees I
struggled on through the nire, and I'M
der the dripping branches. till about
8 in the afternoon, when suddenly there
was iseiy commotien short distance
to the front. / saw a mounted force
approaching on full gallop. The
leader was short, thiek-ses man.
slightly bent In the shoulders, with q
reddish. close-trimnlsd beard. tighe-set
lips, with eyes that were apparently
without expression. He gazad straight
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
THE NORTHWESTERN sTADARD SATURDAY JANUARY 49, 1885.

ahead into vacancy as If he were In q
dream, and as he rushed by splashed
gallons Of mud from his horses feet all
over me from hat to heel. The leader
with the trancslike expression, the
firm-set lips, and look fixed intently
upon nothing was Gen. Grant. 1t was
my first view OF the man who afterWard
ross to the leadership of the armies OF
the Republic. His return was the sig
nal for a countermarch. There was no
fight. Long after midnight, mud-cov-
cred, tagged out, and starving, | re-en-
tered Cairo; and the move against Col
umbus was ended.
Many time and oft after that period
when the future general Of the Nation
al armies covered me with Kentucky
mud saw him. Never during the
long period when / met him almost
every day and night did ne in the least
vary from the mysterious, distracted,
trancelike apparition that dashed out
from the murky depths Of the timber
and then disappeared. He was always
wrapped up in himself. When he rode
through the lines he gazed stolidtY to
the front, looking neither to the right
nor left, and seemingly paying no more
attention to the regiments he was pass
ing than if they were q thousand miles
away. The soldiers would look at him
curiously, Wonderingly, never Cutting a
suggestion from the immobile face, the
inscrutable features When he rode
along there was in the event and its
environment something Of the awe, the
solemnity of a funeral procession. =
IF. w. Wilkie in Chicago Times.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
What Gentleman Knows About the
Price Of Coon,

A gentleman well known In this COM
munity was presented the other day
with pet coon by q countryman who
thought he could not show his appre-
citation of his city friend i'll better
way; the gentleman 1.-THE COON was
taken, anu at once endowed with all
the franchise that All American citizen
can possess Ia city home. He made
himself at once perfectly at home, and
the first thing he did was TO crawl up
on the satiu-coyered sofa and proceed
to take q nap The mistress OF the
house seeing this demonstrated by tax
ing the young friend by the chain that
hung FROM his neck and lifted him off
the sofa, the coon in the mean time
turning around like he had jumped
from afly~Wheel. and catching at every
thing In his reach with all four feet at
the same time, In his exit he got his
hind leg around the support OF an
ornamental stand, and the irate lady
thinking that he had hold o. the sofa,
gave him d yans that almost pulled his
head Off, aud brought down the table
with a S25 vase on il. The coon seemed
to take III the situation with perfect
coolnsss, and while the lady was pick
ing up the pieces he walked leisurely
OUT into the hall and disappeared IN the
cellar, About an hour afterwarl the
gentleman Of the house came home,
and, after listening to the threats of
hot wafer, tea kettles, &c, from Mrs.
-, he concluded TO hunt up the
coon, anu started ON the search but
The coon was nowhere TO be found
Finally, on passing by the pantry door,
which had been left open, and where a
tub Of water stood that had been used
Ill washing out the pantry, he espied
the coon. l}lt the coon had turned
white; this perplexed hirn--he called
his wife, who came at once. and the
cause of the Wilderness was soon ex-
planned. The ceop had found the water
and near by was al open flour barrel
he had bathed in the tub and had
erawlea into the barrel. and had evil
IDENTIFY been continuing this amusing
process for some time, for he had
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
The Life-saving Grew at Point Judith.

| Those persons who have had the
pleasure OF passing down Narragansetl
Bay and around Point Judith known
TO the people of that region as 'sOlG
Pint Jude''--Wh6n there was high sea
running can gain some sort of an idea
of the merry Christmas enjoyed by the
/ life-saying crew stationed at the point
TWA wrecks we're discovered early
Christmas morning, and men appeared
to be clinging to the rigging. The
crew put off and after rowing four miles
found nobody on either wreck. An at
tempt was made to return to the sta
ton in the face of the gale, but it
proved impossible To gain an inch. and
the boat was headed for Block Island
which was safely reached before u
O'Clock. Here the crew of one of the
wrecks were found. The life savers
were anxious to get back TO the man
land. as there was no means Of notify
ing their families of their safety, but it
was too rough Saturday for anything to
leave the island. The master of small
schooner promised to take them oyer
Sunday, but when Sunday came he
weakened, and the sort of weather that
Block Island fisherman is afraid to go
out in his formidable While the exiles
were still urging him to make the ven-
ture there arrived from the mainland d
little tweive-ton schooner which the
Assistant Inspector of Life-SaYing Sta
tons had chartered with which to learn
their fate. She had lain at anchor near
Fort Adams all night waiting for the
gale to subside little, and had run
across In TWO hours and seventeen
minutes, the distance being about
twenty-five miles. a larger vessel was
obtained for the return trip, an eigh-I
teen-ton schooner smack, the lifeboat
taken in tow and the start made. The
islanders came In large numbers down
TO the shore to see them off. declaring
that it was impossible to make the
journey It was accomplished how
ever in five bouTs. the deck being con-
stansly washed by the sea. At times
little could be seen but the masts and
sails. and on several occasions ii looked
as If the hardy little craft would go
down, and once all hands came up from
below Ia preparation for such a catas
Iropae. When the haTbol was reached
schooner and Ife-boat were covered
with ice. and the gallant skipper who
had stood at the helm all the way across
was an ice statue.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
perinatetic Sachals.

Madam. your hand-sachel is walk
ing away
'Oh, dear. the naughty thing won't
stay STILL and madam grabbed the per-
ipatetic bag and yanked it back to a
spot on the counter directly in front of
her. After she had gone the sales
woman said:
'sHer sachel was made of alligator
skin of kind that seems to retain its
elasticity. and keeps constantly on the
move. have known bags OF that sort
to move a foot or two in five minutes.
Queer. isn't it?"-Ph Philadelphia Press.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23

Lace forms such All important part
OF the toilet this season that one lace
dress at least seems to be required in
the wardrobe, and if this be black or
white it may yet be very inexpensive by
having for the underdress some bright
silk which has passed its first youth
Printed or pinked dounces are seen on
some charming Paris costumes of lace,
and have a certain harmony with the
costume. Manrnesaues aud darned net
are two iaees much used.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
QUEER PEOPLE.
The Baker, the Barber, the Ton Of Coal
and the Tramps.

The Baker, the Barber, the Ton Of Coal
and the Tramps.
The barber's shop was next door to
the bakers shop, and the baker had
just got ton of coal. The coal had
been dumped on the sidewalk, and,
after the fashion Of coal men, much
nearer to the BARRIERS door than to that
of the baker, to whom it belonged. The
barber had just got the lather ON a GUS
toner VIXEN one Of the genus tramp
came in.
Put in yer coal, mister2"
mo-" said the barber pleasantly;
':no, my friend, that's not my coal, you
know
The tramp had hardly disappeared
round the corner when another one
opened the door.
Put yer coal in fur We, raisterF''
mo- said the barber, q little sharp
": ''the GOALS not mine, / say"
They kept coming, and seven OF them
appeared in twenty minutes, and to the
eighth man the barber is alleged to have
said: 'sGit! the coal amt
mime
NOW. see here,'' said the shavee,
"there ain t no use il gittin' mad over
it. Just put UP sign sayin', This
coal amt mine. That's all ye need
Say, you've got a great head, . said
the barber, and in a few moments he
had the sign stuck on the top Of heap
of coal. Reckon that'll fix it, I" he re-
marked.
The door opened and tall man with
shovel looked in. ''Say, mister, did
you put that 'ere sign up, or did the
other feller9''
Then the barber closed his shop and
went out and got drunk with malice
aforethoughG.
He only had one remark to make
when Justice Mech fined him SIS.
mister Judge" he said, ''can't make
that baker pay my tine9''
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23

worked up a lump Of dough twice his
own size, and was sitting in the water
rolling the pieces in his paws. He was
lifted out, washed and sent back with
s'many thanks TO the countrynlan,
with the intinaJion that a wildcat
young bear, grounding or any thing
else would be preferable, The gentle
man says that any body who wants a.
coon is richer than he is.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
Whereas, It Being the New Yea,


Resolved, That I will pay as go--on
the railroad.
That [ will honestly and closely scan
my neighbours faults and help him to
correct them.
That will not spend so much money
On clothes-for my wife.
That will quit smoking in places
where it is positively forbidden.
That / will not write any reminis-
cences of the war.
That will make shorter prayers and
longer subscriptions.
That I will not say II beg your par
don tony neighbours wife, and 'Huh!'
to my own.
That will not play lawn tennis for
at least three months.
That will not bite OFF more than I
can chew.
That l will not worry and fret about
what wonll. become of the other eight
or nine bili4sns Of psapele il. the wess1, i
if should die.
That will not slop over.
That ] will study my lesson and keep
my face clean.
That il fail in any of these resolu-
tions it will be somebody else's fault.
That j can get along well enough
with every body but myself.
That [ will be most wretchedly sorry
for thousand things by next Deem
Der.
That they shan't be the same things
/ was sorry for last December.
That have money to bet they will
be.-Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
The Northwestern standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1885-1886, 1886-01-23
Why Cold Waves Come From the North

west.
There is another Geld wave coming 2
remarked Mr. Fangle to his wife last
night.
"Where from?" asked the lady.
From the Northwest, where the all
come from.
Why 90 all the cold waves come
from the Northwest my dear?"
30, because there is SO much GOODNESS
between ST Paul and Minneapolis. y
Pittsburgh Chronicle