The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1886-06-25
HEARD ON THE QUIET.
How Colonel Mason Got a Good
Dinner.

ssIt il only about twice year"
remarked State Senator William Il.
Mason yesterday "that Pm smart
enough to fool my wife. Last Mon
day played trick that ought to
serve as n capital suggestion Tor
other husbands TO conduct opera
tions on. AlOug about four o'clock
in the afternoon | began to get
faint and hungry | had been
working hard all day and was
as famIshed and tagged out as II
hunted wolf. AS | sat i'll my office
chair wondering what | was going
to find for dinner when l got home
an entirely new aud marNelously
brilliant idea flashed upon me. 1t
broke upon my intellect much AS a
stray plank dances before the
desDairing vision of a drowning
man. 1t made my mouth falrly
water as it developed its details to
my greedy brain. made IL bee
line for the telephone and called
the central Office.
"'Give me $685. and |, and then
chuckled all over, and my mouth
kept on watering.
sBur-r-r,' went the telephone.
| put my mouth close 10 the tele-
phone, and in a shlfll, falsetto
voice asked, is that Senator Ma
sons houseF
"'Yes,' came the answer, aud l
recognized my wife at the other
end of the wire,
"Is the Senator at home ~
asked in the same feminine voice.
No. was the reply.
well, then, is Mrs. Mason
there 2 enquired.
'Yes, | am Mrs. Mason, was
the answer.
"'Oh, is that you 7 cried; "hov
do you do 2
"'Why, how do you doF re
sponded my wife. But knew b.
her tones that SHE hadn't the remot
est idea whom she was talking to
"'How are all tue children Y
asked.
"'They are all WE'LL said m,
wife.
"sWell,' said Il happened to b.
IN town shopping TO day, AMI
thought Pd go over to your hous
for dinner
"Wpll, that sort of staggered m!
wife. She mustered up volc'
enough To ask "Who are you |"
"Then | answered 'Why, don'I
you recognize the voice | au
Mrs. Myra YAH
AZ don't catch the name--speal
it louder, she pleaded.
"'Mrs. Myra-yah + | repeated
and with that in order to preclud
all embarrassing complications,
shut off the telephone as tight as
could Tbcn | threw myself in
chair and laughed till | like to wen
into apople4y. Laugh ! Well so
ought to have seen the plasterin
tall around me! But, to make
long story short, | reached HON
about quarter to six O'Clock, an
: of all the dinners | ever clappe
eyes on-gosh, it was a banquet
Wife had her new black silk dres
OH, aud she had shcked the Chi
dreu MP so that l could hardl
identity them.
g. think we had better wa
: dinner awhile, my DEAR, said Wit
'Why so 2 | asked. 'Bless so
, rm as hungry as an alligator.
"Then wife told me she va
: expecting a lady guest, aud 81
b repeated the details OF the tel
9 phone talk of the afternoon.
was feaI full ordeal, but | manage
to look innocent, and of course
wondered who the lady could be.
v "Indeed don't know said VIII
}, sbut her voice was strangely fam
/; lar. I've been puzzling myst
/, nearly to death trying to guess vi
/. it was"
5, "Well, we waited fifteen minute
alu lleU We Silt uONu " Lhub V.
n uuet-and royal feast it was. "
!; had soup aud fish, aud a big roa
J. and about dozen little side-dishe
: and wife had sent out and bong
gallon of pink ice-cream aud
- frosted cake tor desert. stood
h lust as loug as | could. When
= came to the pink ice-eream l cou
stand it no longer. As was sll
ing it of looked at my wife XII
n. of adewise, and said in a falset
voice AMY dear, Pm sorry MI
I'd Mya.yah ddn't come"
al I.William e. Masou-yOu brute
n. she gasped. =.
er "The children enjoyed the 10
ouite as much as l did-yes, al
ID wife. too, got to laughing about
ID after a while. Our boy Louis SAT-
sDo it again' pa it's mighty lol
s. to have q big dinner Onee'n awhil
Is HBnt look here you reporter y
aren't taking notes on met Con
come, now, that's not right y
n, mustn't tell the story on me. Put
a. on somebody else-put it on b
ID Campbell.'
,.,loraa vofnr thinks this e.