Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1886-11-27

The man VINO sleeps IN church has q
nod idea Of his immortal soul.
When Mrs. Mackey gives a dinner TO
the Prince, She has nine different kinds
OF pie.
There is one place where busybodies
seldom stick their nose in" and that
is u hornets nest.
The woman you can call a poem is
not the woman yon can call early in
the morning 10 get breakfast.
One thing can be said in favor Of the
ice man. 1t he has auy left over he
doesn't warm 1t up for breakfast.
A woman's beauty is most perfect
when it is backed up by intelligence.
A newspaper hustle is just the thing.
In a race for the prize of being called
belle OF the ball, it is frequently a neck
and-neck finish with society beauties.
"Your horse has q tremendous long
bit" said a friend TO a noted wag.
"Yes." he responded, 1T is a bit too
long"
Stranger-Does Mr.. Jones live on
this hoorP Musical young lady-No,
sir, his room is an octave higher, III the
next fiat.
Ruth was not a designing woman,
and yet she managed to get rs good a
Boaz any Of the other girls who both
sewed and reaped.
1t must be exasperating to the city
beau to read about counting by the
gate, when he has nothing to lean
against but the scraper.
Hotel Proprictor-"We don't allow
any games Of cGXncc here" Gambler
"This isn't a game of chance. My
friend here has no chance"
A glass bottle factory is to be estab-
lished in Atlanta, Ga. There is a large
local demand ia the South which this
enterprise expects To supply.
If people who mean to begin to read
should read all the advice to readers
about reading, they wouldn't have time
to read anything else.
A convict with a ball and chain
attachment, gave rs an excuse for not
taking a summer vacation, that he was
too closely tied to business.
"That is genuine butter" remarked
the oleomargarine man, rs he gathered
| llulStll up OH VIC Sluullu dIlcT lllc
goat had got through with him.
The chronological Journal says: in
choosing n wife, be governed by her
chin" A man is apt TO be governed
by the same thing after ne gets a wife.
Even pious souls are sometimes
tempted to lapse into the wanton spirit
Of the little maiden who prayed:
Please, Mr.. G0d, I'm tired o bein'
made good-won't you Kill pap
"How long has Brown been married,
Charley? p Didn't know he was mar
ried ut all. ! don't believe he is either"
Yes, he is: | noticed him turn pale
when the clock struck eleven"
Belle-"Ma do you know what cafe
All lait is ?" Mrs. Mushroom-"No, I
don't know exactly, darling; but | sup
pose cafe au lay is coffee with an egg
in it."
Mrs. Gubbins says she never allows
her boy, jim, to eat jam, for her hus-
band died of the jim-jams, and she
don't propose to run any chances with
the boy.
There is n advantage about the
big, short-measnre silver dollar.
Thieves do not take them in large
quantities where the transportation is
limited.
The meanest man so far on record
lives in New Haven. His wife asked
him to give her 4 pet. some animal
that would stick to her, and the next
evening he brought home a leech.
A little three-vear old girl discovered
a neighbours hen scratching in the gar
den, and running into the house she
said to her mother IN IL most indignant
tone: MA, that hen next door Is
wlping her feet on our grass!'
Judge-"Have you anything to say
before the court passes sentence upon
your" Prisoner -" Well. all | got to
say is, l hope yer honor II consider the
extreme youth and greenness Of my
lawyer, an let me off easy"
Adirondack Murray, the eccentric
preacher. is married again. His boosted
knowledge of How to Cook a Beef
steak" will now serve him a good turn,
but the chances are that he Will expect
his wife to furnish the steak.
"Why did she do it? asks an ex-
change. Because, tir.t, her feet were
awfully cold; second, he had been in
bed an hour, therefore warm and com
Portable; third, what is a husband good
for if not to warm his wife's feet on,
anyway?
One of our exchanges prints a long
editorial entitled "The Age Of Brass"
1t is believed the article was inspired
by a recent visit of Il patent medicine
agent who wanted a column advertise
ment one year and fifty-two reading
notices inserted for 1872, to be taken
out in Liver Searcher."
A naturalist has satisfied himself
beyond a doubt that the average cat
travels a distance Of eighty miles every
night. Then it must be the other cat
that sits on the back fence several
hours every night, loudly complaining
OF the high taxes, or something.
Young housekeeper (to assistant
Shave you q small hand-bellows for
blowing the fire." Assistant-"Some-
thing like that, madame?" Young
house keeepcr-''Y Yes. that will do. If
you will fill it with wind and put a cork
in the end, III take it with me-"
81 admire that beautiful hymn, 4
Would Not Live Away so much" said
Miss Shouter to her brother. "You
seem to-" was the response. 81 think
the sentiment is SO touching and so
full Of truth" she went on. eyes. sis;