Huntsville gazette., 1886-08-14
Ivy a4Rl A aH. .
BROTHER GARDNER.

fhe President OF the Limekilns Club
breaches a Philosophical Sermon.
When / h,ar an individual riz up an
aeclar' his disgust wild de world l sos
him down as a pusson who has con-
tributed his f ar share to 'rds bringin' de
world to its present condishun.
Dar' am sartin people who war BON
INTO dis life fur no pertickler reason.
Dey am as outer place as blind hoss
befo' lookin' glass iDey havn't de
smartness to steal nor de spirit to work.
lDey am too cowardly to suicides, an
not brave huff to face de problems OF
life. Dey am mean 'nuff to covet, but
not reckless 'nuff to steal. Dey begin
on Sunday mawnin' TO predict short
crops, an wind up Saturday night by a
prophecy of earthquakes or cholera.
On de front doah Of ebery sich man
should be nailed sign readin': ''lt
am better to pass on to de next
co'ner an take de smallpox instead. )"
/ sit down wild my pipe Of an eavenin'
an boil sartin matters down an frow
away de skimmins. Tze been gainin'1
two or three pounds of flesh 2 y ar fur
de las ten y ars. What rich man has
done betterp Tze got a tight roof ober
head an a good cellar below. Jay
Gould's roof may be higher an his eel
lar bigger, but why should envy him
when have room huff? A..
On my table am con beef 'taters,
cabbage, bread an odder fings which
please my taste, satisfy my hunger an
put fat on my ribs. Does any million
aric do mo- dan eat 70 please hisself?
De panes in my windows am small
but clear L kin look out to de east,
moth, south or west. De VanderbiltS
can't do any better. DER glass may be
larger an cost mo- money, but it doan'
keep out mo- weather.
T'ze got bit of garden in which
Tze CROWN 'taters, lettuce, onions,
beets an de like De Queen Of Eng
land kin have bigger garden, but her
vegetables must grow. in de same way,
an would taste no better.
I'ze got plenty Of fuel fur cold
weather an fly screens to keep out de
dust an flies in summer. De Kings
palace am warmed by de same coal an
his screens made frum de same wire.
/ want neither his heat nor his 'skeet-
ers.
I'ze got good health an purity far
Job. Dar am plenty of miilionaires
who haven't got no health tall, and
whose worry am mo- tiresome dan my
labor.
I'ze got lot all paid fur in de grave
yard. Some men may have two, but |
doan' envy 'em. BY an by men de
ole woman will be laid away up dar.
BY an by de rich man an his wife will
also be laid away. Dey may have q
monument towerin' above our tomb
stuns, but dey'll sleep no sweeter nor
awaken any sooner. DER collins may
be richer, but de same airth will bring
all to decay. 6l....s ...s...
De great trouble wild average hu
manity, as | see it, am de fack dat
people grasp fur too much. What was
riches to de las ginerashun am jist
nuff to make dis one discontented.
What was comfort den am poverty
now. De wages Of our gran fathers
would hardly buy ap'ons fur de wives
of workin' men to-day. We am full of
froth an show. Hypocricy an deceit
am part of our stock in trade. Envy
an jealousy am drivin' out charity an
contentment. Fifty Vars hence, if dey
should dig down to my coffin an find
dat | had turned ober, de papers
needn't make any sensashun. 1t am
quite sartln, onless great change
takes place, dat de mex generashun
will make us ole dead folks tired. "--
Detroit Free Press