Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-09-02
Pity 1HE HUSBANDS.


The Interesting Way in Which Some Mar.
ried Women c. to Sleep.
There is an article going the rounds
entitled "How the Girls Go to Sleep"
The manner IN which they 60 to sleep.
according to the article, can't hold q
candle to the way . married woman
goes to Sleep
Instead Of thinking what she should
have attended to before going to bed.
she thinks Of it afterward. While she
is revolving these things in her mind.
and while snugly tucked up in bed.
the old man IS scratching his head in
front of the fire and wondering how he
will pay the next months rent. Sud-
denly she exclaims:
"James, did YOU lock the door2''
(which dOOri" says James
'The cellar door, says she.
''No." says James.
'WeI. you had better 60 down and
lock it, for heard some one in the
back yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down
the stairs and locks the door. About
the time James returns and is going to
bed she remarks:
''Did you shut the stair-door?'
NO." says James.
"Well, if it is not shut the cat will
get up into the chamber"
"Let her come up, then. says James.
ill-naturedly.
my goodness. no." returns his wife.
''she'd suck the baby's breath"
Then james paddles downstairs
again and steps on q tack. and closes
the stair-dOOr, and curses the cat, and
returns to the bedroom. just as he
begins to climb into his couch his wife
observes:
Il forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring up some IN the big
tin"
And so James, with muttered curse,
goes Gown into the dark kitchen and
falls over chair and rasps all the tin
ware off the wall in search of the "big"
tin. and then jerks the stair-door open
and bowls: "Where the deuce are the
matches?"
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches. and adds
that she would rather go and get the
| water herself than have the whole
neighborhood raised about it. After
| which James finds the matches. pro-
cures the water, and comes upstairs
| and plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says: "James,
lots have an understanding about mon
| ey matters. Now, next week I've got
| RI nav ~
Il don't know what you'll have to
pay and don't care" shouts James, as
he lurches around and jams his face
against the wall, "all l want Is
sleep"
That's all very well. for you," snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vicious
ly; "you never think of the worry and
trouble have. And there is Aramin-
ia. who, l believe, is taking the
measles"
''Let her take EN-" says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly,
but about the time James is falling in
to a gentle doze she punches him in the
ribs with her elbow, and says:
Ibid you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jones?'
'Where?" says James. sleepily.
"Why. Mrs. Jones.
"Where??" inquiries James.
II declare" said his wife," you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. 81?
Well, day before yesterday Susan
Smith told Mrs. Thompson that Sam.
Barker had said that Mrs. Jones
| had -"
Here she paused and listened. James
is snoring in profound slumber. With
snort of rage she pulls all the covers
off him, wraps up in them. and lies
awake until two a. m. thinking how
badly used she is.
And that is the way some married