St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-02-02
Merry MOrseIs.

Good Tor b0ilS-Ihe teakettle.
Bulletin.
An artists chance fer drawing a turkey
In rattle is no better than anybody else's.
Boston Bulletin.
Sunday Is spoken OF as day of rest. but
not by men who have to read the Sunday
papers 20 their wives Fall River Advance.
1t Is easier for camel to pose as a
creature of grace and beauty than ID is for a
man to remember to date his letters 1850
Fall River Advance,
1t Is not the correct thing In society now
for young man TO say to his affianced,
Darling. lay your head on my breast"
He should say, Poll. take your wig of my
wish-bone. "-California Maverick.
why didn't you come when range"
said Texas lady to her domestic BE
cause i dfdift heah de bell" thereafter
when you don't hear the bell you must
come and tell me So" ''Yes, num-
Texas Siftings.
''Ah, Miss Green, what a lovely com
plexiOn Miss Pink has! | declare she is as
pretty as picture" ''Yaas, Mr.. Black.
one might almost think she had been
painted by one of the old masters. Chs
cagO News.
Thieves broke into the house of Post
master General Villas, at Washington, the
other night and stole articles worth $500.
This talk about otfice-seekers all hal ing
left Washington is obviously fiction
Philadelphia Press.
The man who can taste his Christmas
dinner yet may be trifie dyspeptic and off
color. but be isn't In the same racket with
the man who bet on the wrong fellow in
the election and had TO spout his ulster to
pay WHITEHALL River Advance.
George Washington offered himself TO
| five women before he was accepted" Well,
no wonder. 1t got out that he never told a
| lie, and the women, of course. thought he
wasn't quite right in the upper story
Kentucky State Journal.
A South side girl who covered her face
with her hands when she thought her lover
was about to kiss her, In her disappOnt-
ment complained: ''Oh, Harry, my hands
are so small; there's room enough for 500
kisses between them. Chicago Telegram.
We see an article going the rounds of the
papers under the caption OF THE Blythe
Millions" We have made the same re-
mark before. Millions are always blythe
when they are not in eart-whee dollars and
don't belong to some other fellow.-Fall
River Advance.
our lltllc UOJ otClDS I'd DS very llIclil-
gent" said a grocer to a customer whose
eighteen months-old child had in pointing
said lug, Jug" ''Oh. yes" said the Gus
toner, The knows what jug is. He was
born in a prohibition tOwn."-Arkansaw
| Traveller.
If you have sworn off drinking and are
tempted every time you pass a saloon, shut
your eyes and imagine that you see the bar
| tender mixing one gallon of sulphuric acid
| with nine gallons of water and trying to
pass IL OFF as twenty-year-old whisky
Philadelphia Herald.
Nice young man Occurring to a Sunday
school)-''NOw, is there any little boy OF
| little girl who would like to ask any aues-
tons? Well, little boy. see your hand;
you needn't snap your fingers. What ques-
tons would You like TO ask?' Small boy
''How much longer Is this jawin' going TO
last?"-rhe Rambler.
Old friends, old wines, old clothes,
| Old habits and old shoes
| Suit age and rest.
| New friends, new drinks, new oaths
New slang, new-what you choose
Suit dudes the best
-Pittsburg Commercial.
Bassale to Gintop. about to annihilate a
hot Scotch: "Here, old man. thought you
told me You had sworn OFF on New Years. y
Gintop, after hesitating suspiciously: Il
did, sure enough. But when remembered
to-day that New Years fell on Friday ]
made up my mind to recall it and wait until
next year. / will never begin a great re-
form on an unlncky day.-Philadelph
/ prasa