Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-11-25


the world. The land is level enough
and the soil is rich. The farmers are
certainly wealthy, for they have fine
houses and large barns. All of the
houses are painted white and the barns
are red with white corners and windows.
For miles and miles one sees the same
thing, white houses and red barns, and
it would be relief to see tumble
down log shanty or straw-covered
shed, just to break the monotony. At
one OF the stations good-looking young
woman gets on the train. She is travel
ing all alone. Poor thingi How lonely
she must be! Pretty soon the conductor
comes in. After he looks after the
tickets he feels sorry for the lonely
young lady and goes and sits with her.
Like his brakeman. he does this just so
after every station until the lonely miss
gets OIL, and right here we must not
fail to remark that the average Ameri-
can conductor is without peer as q
KIND, considerable individual. When
ever nice-looking young lady is travel
ing all alone, the conductor always
makes 1t point to go and sit down
with her, just to make it pleasant and
agreeable, you know. AT another place
woman came in and located herself
not far from us. This woman was
what people call 'gum-chawer," and
the way she did "ehawn was caution
and would have made dummy before
tobacco store green with envy. She
rode about fifty miles on the train, and
during all that time did she well and
truly "chaw' that gum. Some men
pride themselves on their ability to
chew tobacco artistically, but this
woman would have made the greatest
virtuosos in that line weep at the con-
temptation of their own inferiority.
Darkness overtakes the train about
the time Fulton is reached and no more
observations about land, houses and
barns can be INDUCED in in the Sucker
State on this trip.
We strike the Father of Waters a
short time before the train pulls into
Rock Island and run along within a
stones throw of it for several miles. A
number of steamboats, are blowing its
waters. They are lighted up with cleo
trio lights and as their rays shoot across
and strike the bluffs on the Iowa side
they form the prettiest kind of NOV
ing panorama. At Rock Island pas
sengers on the way to Kansas City bid
farewell to the c., M. & st. Paul Road
with its brass buttons. and take the
Chicago, Rock Island q Pacific. A few
moments intervene between the time of
arrival here and of starting for Kansas
City, and the people who are so in
clined step into the depot eating house
and initiate themselves into the Yankee
process of fast eating, SO felicitously
portrayed by Sunset Cox in his articles
on humor few years ago. Is it a Won
der that Americans are dyspeptice
These railroad eating-houses are snares
and delusions, chief promoters of dys-
pepsia. They should be declared a
public nuisance, should be abolished by
statute and the party which has the
courage to insert a plank in its plat
form in favor of the abolition of them
will deserve to have its name go thunder
ing down the centuries alongside of st.
John and the Prohibition party. But
time is up and the fast express goes
grooming over the great bridge to
Davenport, where a long time is spent
in taking on more cars. When the
train is all made up, it is a magnificent
one. About six hundred persons are
aboard. Now are we beginning to real
ize the immensely of railroad travel.
A population one-ffth as large as that
of Platteville and greater than that OF
Belmont or Cuba City. and when it is
remembered that the safety of all these
persons rests in the hands of one man,
the engineer, then can we appreciate
the fearful responsibility that attaches
to the engineers post of duty. This is
fine road. ballasted all along. the cars
are elegant and as the fast express goes
leaping along through the Hawkeye
State the bohemians feel the arms of
Morpheus closing around them and
they importune the colored dignitary
who presdes over the sleeper about a
berth. That worthy lord-high extor-
ZIONIST informed US that out of the good
ness of his heart he would be compelled
to put us both in an upper berth Our
baggage he generously agreed to allow
to remain on the floor for modest fee.
Democratic economy prevailed and the
baggage was allowed TO WOO the drowsy
god alongside of us. The colored dig
nitary was told to rouse his victims
about four, as they wanted to quit the
train at Cameron, Missouri The bo-
hemians will never forget that night,
nor will the Chicago man who occupied
the CLOVER" and who kindly offered to
hand his old boot up to us several times.
Four O'Clock came and we rolled out,
thinking we were at Cameron. I'm
agine how base and wicked we felt
when the colored dignitary informed us
that we were at Centerville, Iowa, more
than 100 miles from Cameron and had
been there ever since twelve o'clock.
A freight train had gone through
burning bridge ten miles west of here
and three cars were burned up. The
train must wait here until the bridge is
repaired. OF course everyone enjoys
lay-over of half day when they are in
hurry. Especially at an interesting
place like Centerville. However, the
bridge was repaired about ten O'Clock
and by two we are in bloody Missouri.
The land here looks poor and the
farm buildings good deal poorer. We
ran for miles along muddy excuse of
a river. 1t is the worst apology for a
river that we have seen since we left
the Badger State. The train goes
whirling along, not stopping at half of
L.