davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
COMPLAINTS.
Alleged Disabled Individuals Who Were
Caught in Their Own Traps.

AAS6oN iHulSIuuAIb VIM were
Caught in Their Own Traps.
"Men will sham any complaint now
adays to avoid their work." said Il
worthy skipper, as he sat at the head of
the breakfast table on our first day out.
II had a fellow once who pretended to
have famed himself when we were
about halfway out to Calcutta; and he
did it so well that nobody ever sus-
pected him a bit, till one night there
was q false alarm of fire, and the way
that lame mann flew up the ladder
would have astonished an acrobat"
"Well," said l, you remember that
story of the lrishman who went about
Dublin with Pity the poor blind on a
board round his neck. and made quite
a good trade of it, till at last one OF
people who used to give to him met
him in a by-street, stepping along like
a prize pedestrian.
"'You old humbug!' cried he, you
see as well as l do
"'Sure, thin says Paddy, looking
down at the blind board that he car
ried, they've hung the wrong board
on me to-day by mistake. It's deaI
and dumb l am"
"Well, l once say something almost
as good as that myself said my right
hand neighbor, Prof. T, when l
was on a visit to my friend DR.. l.,
in the east of France. There was a
great Consumption going on just then
for the Crimean war, and l. had to
test the recruits as they came in, to see
whether they were fit for service.
''Now among these fellows there was
one fine, sturdy Auvergnat. just the
stuff for a soldier, if he hadn't unluck-
lily been st%one-deaf. So he said, at
least, and it certainly appeared to be
true, for all the tests that they applied
to him couldn't make him give any
sign of hearing a bit. l fully believed
his case to be genuine; but l could see
by the twinkle in DR.. LIS eye that
he didn't.
"'That'll do, my man. said L.
to him at last, in a low voice. You're
too deaf to be of any use to us. You
can 60
INSTANTLY the recruit, forgetting
himself in his glee at having got off
SO easily, sprang toward the door like
q cat.
"'Not 20 fast, my fine fellow
shouted the recruiting officer; if you
can hear that, you're not too deaf for
the army. You're a mighty cunning
rogue, but this time we've caught you
in your own trap "-DauM Ker, in
Harper'S Magazine.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
Huge Lake Balls.

The curious phenomenon Of "lake-
balls'' is to be met with on the Sils
Lake and others in the Upper Enga-
dine. They are composed of lareh-
leaves felted together. Three samples
(the largest over a foot in diameter)
were recently exhibited by Herr Coaz
at the Berne Naturalists' Society, and
he stated that these balls are formed in
small bays into which the prevailing
southwest winds blow. The water &C
quires . whirling motion, and the
larch-leaves involved in it, together with
the pieces Of moss, ETC., are worked
into balls. There is no cementing
with mud. Sometimes on shallow
banks--notin bsys-sausagc-lik like ferns
are met with. Prof. Fisher made ref
erehce to another kind Of lake-balls
formed Of a ilamentous alga in the
lakes of Sweden and other countries;
also to the marine balls, formed Of
fragments Of phanesogamic sea-plsnts.
which were at or time used medicin.
ALLYN r. Post
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
A SHAMEFUL CASE.
How Patent Fly-Screen Man Was Robbie
of His Time by a Cobbler.

How . Patent Fly-Screen Man Was Robted
of His Time by a Cobbler.
He had a sample tly-screen under hs
arm, and he turned aside and entcrdl
a little shoe shop on Lafayette stree
east.
II vhas VERY busy to-day said the
cobbler, as he looked up.
Eyes, I suppose so, and so are the
fies," was tho reply. my friend,
have you given any thought to the
momentuous query: Shall l Keep the
Flies Out or In This SUMMER"
II hat to get dis boot done in hall
an hour"
Exactly, and I don't propose to
hinder you. I am taking orders for fly.
screens. You can peg, peg away,
while we talk, talk ~fy-screens.
II doan' vhant some"
That is to say, you propose to sitin
this shop all summer and encourage
the visits of winged insects. Do you
know how much time a man loses in
four months in striking at tliesP"
II doan figure oop on him"
"Of course you don't, but l have,
You will lose just two days in every
month. That's eight days thrown
away, and not a fly killed. Now,
then"
Il don't vhant some fy-screens.'
THAT is, you think you don't. How
many cubic feet Of air do you think
comes through that door in foul
monthse" ...
MAY pc six"
MAY bc millions' How much dust
do you suppose accompanies that air7'
II vhas very busy
Exactly, but more than two bush.
els Of dust enter this shop by way OF
that door, and you inhale at least hall
Of It. How many microbes accompany
the dustp"
''Dfs shop vhas under mortgage, you
seep'
"Tbat's all right, but for ten hours q
day you inhale one hundred eholer'
microbes an hour"
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
The Prize Snake Story,
lewiston fMe.) Specially

For six months a young man named
Ferguson, residing at Great Falls, had
been in failing health despite the care Of
the physicians, none of whom could fathom
the cause of his decline. Among many
odd symptoms was that of a peculiar
choking sensation, which was not under
stood until a snake thrust its head out Of
the young mans mouth. The sick man
called his sister, and. when next the hiss
ing head appeared, she seized it and with
a quick pull landed the nom reptile
at her feet. Her action killed her brother.
The tail of the snake had grown into the
young mans body, and in tearing it away
a blood vessel was broken, and the young
man bled to death.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
"Und may pc I moot avhay to Chi.

"Und may Pc l moor avhay to Chi
oago."
Suppose you do. A hy-screen door
Is portable property. There are flies
and dust and microbes in Chicago as
we'll as Detroit. Do you want to die
Of cholerap"
If l die it vhas all right. I'll live l
hat to work all der time. l vhas a
great handt to be alone in my shop"
Certainly you are, but the question
remains: Shall flies light on you or
not?' l will make you a door"
II vhas VERY busy
Don't doubt it, but you owe some.
thing to yourself. Two dollars and a
half will buy the door complete, and l
want to tell you that u -"
Great Heafens! 60 AWAY! l vhas
busy! doan' vhant some doors. l
doan' vhant some fy-screens!'
you don't! If you don't want a
door why did you encourage meP Why
dld you take a quarter of an hour Of
my valuable time? Do you suppose l
can stop and figure up cubic feet of air
and bushels of dust and numbers of Mi
crobes to crafty idle curiosity?'
1like you to 60 a~vhay"'
"Well, I'll 60. Why didn't you say
so at first? What have | done to you
that you should want to injure me by
robbing me of my time? Your con-
duct is outrageous, sir-grossly out
rageous?"
The shoemaker jumped and locked
the door as soon as the mar was out.
For a moment they glared at each 9TH
er through the dusty glass, and then the
hy-screen man said:
ats a shameful case, and ri keep
an eye on you! 1t is just such trihing
conduct as yours, sir, which has
brought this country to where it is.
Why didn't you tell me when Icame in
that you didn't want a fy-screen doorPn
Detroit Free Press.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
REPRESENTATION.
A Canadian l'rodigy's Incredible and Gl'
gantic Mental Powers.

A Canadian Trodigy's Incredible and CT.
gantic Mental Powers.
"Another instance of %procrastina-
toni" remarked Mr.. Newgay, as he
finished reading to a friend the news
paper heading of the latest account of
the defaulting American bank cashier.
"'Procrastination' is q new name
for it, amt itp" ventured his friend.
''But may be the delinquent hesitated
too long before joining the noble
army Of EnosP"
mo; he made a prompt and success
full retreat in good order with the
funds. But it was 'procrastination' all
the samer'
"Explain"
"Well, representation is the thief OF
time,' isn't itP" .......
''Well"
"And time is mon"
"Hold on, Newgay! Let me private
ly give you a word of advice. You
have mistaken your calling. A man as
smart as you really ought to 60 and
hire himself out to some hospital as a
mustard plaster!"- Toronto Grip.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

In the midst Of the fire which drva,-
tated Key West, Fla, recently, the
little daughter Of DR.. &. V. Harris, col
lector Of the port, hearing a remark
that the funds of the Bank of Key West
and other valuabics were being sent on
board the revenue steamer Din for SAT
ETY., hastily gathered up her two wax
dolls, with their wardrobe. and alone
through the binding smoke and flying
cinders flew down the lighthouse wharf,
where the Dix was mOored, and begged
Captain Fcngar to protect her darlings.
1t is needless to say those dolls occu-
pied the post Of honor on that Vessel. --
N. \. Sun.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
A Hornet With Golden Legs.
Boston Herald.

Lately, in Paris, at a gorgeous reception,
one elegantly dressed woman wore on the
edge of her low-cut bodice, with its head
bent as if it had just pierced the white
shoulder with a sting, an imitation hornet.
1t was so real that it made the looker-on
start with aninvoluntary horror. The body
of the creature was in Labrador stone. vel.
low striped with brown, the head a deep
hued sapphire. the legs golden.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

We have always said that if man
ever planted his brogans on the solid
rock of perfect content. science would
be the sapper and miner to build the
corduroy over the intervening bog
The stringerS are already down, and
here comes the first load of timber: "A
lost umbrella was recovered in Phil
adelphia the other day by the aid Of the
tel '-Ljqc BrVun.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
A VALUABLE S
The Extraordinary Price Paid for a Small
Piece Of Bric-a.Brac.

The Extraordinary Price Paid for a Small
Piece of Bric~a.Brac
At a sale just held in Paris all extra
ordinary price was realized for a very
small piece of bric-a,brac. 1t was a
dish executed by Palsy after a model
BY Briot. The a%ntecedents of the piece
wore not traced very far back in point
oftimc, but the hisory of it-so far as
it lwent-showed : very remarkable
progression in value. Thirty years ago
it had been in the possession of a pri-
vate gentleman il Ncvers, who was
perfectly astounde' to receive from a
dealer an offer of i've hundred francs
for the dish. So gotl a piece of fortune
was not to be allowed to slip, and the
dish was handed oNr and the five hun
dred francs duly fid. If the dealer
had made an i~mpr"ident bargain, he
O O found a FISHERMAN than himself.
Prince Soltykof head Of the trouvaille,
and it was brought . him for inspcc-
ton. Ultimately tens were agreed
on, and the Prince lid the dealer five
thousand francs for hat the latter had
purchased at five hu bred francs. The
dish remained in tn Soltykoff collec-
ton till its disperss in 1851, when i,
sold for ten thotsand francs. Com.
mercial depression Iad not then set in,
and high prices wee no rarity at the
Hotel Drouot. Otlously IL is different
now. And yet th very piece was sold
a few days ago y twenty-five thou.
sand seven hundrd fraucs--PaN Mall
GdyNxe.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

An exchange says:-"Nine-tentbs Of the
unhappy marriages result from human
caves being ailowed to run at large in So
Grey pastures" Nine-tenths of the chronic
impure blood, liver complai1t or hiIiora u
ness, resulting in scrofula, consumnfi"n
which is but s~crofula Of the hugs, s"res
ulcers, skin discusses and kindred Sffections
Or. flerce's Golden Medical Discovery,
cures all these. Of Druggists.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

At least three men on the average jury are
bound to disagree with the rest just to show
that they've got minds of their own but
there IS no disagreement among the women
as to the merits of Dr.. Pierce's 'flrort;r
PreScrptioH.n They are all unanimous in
pronouLcing it the best remedy in the
world for all those chronic diseases, weak
nesses and complaints peculiar to their SEX.
1t transforms the pale, haggard, dispiriied
woman, into one of sparkling health, and
the ringing laugh again "reigns supremen
in the happy household.
A HARD smoker-The locomotive.-CM-
edgo Ledger.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

i was recently told by dealcr that
to get along, you haycto con>,drrr every
man who asks for credit a rogue.
think a better way j, to N1ppo>" jhar
every II wants to he honest, and ,Aa'
you are doing him afavor IN NOT -i%ju-
him Il trmUtatiOn to be di~hu.>,.-
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

The soil Of Erthern Virginia, up.
on which occurretso many battles, is
now so poor that t does not furnish
pasturage, and Gale raising there has
been abandoned. Washington star.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

REV. W. NJ. LEFrw1CH, D. D., Nashville,
Tenn, publicly endorses Red Star Cough
Cure, which costs only twenty-five cent a
bOttla
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

S1CK and bilious headache, and all de-
engagements of stomach and bowels, cured
by DR.. Piorce's Pellets"-Or anti-biliOus
granules. p cents a vial. No cheap boxes
to allow waste Of virtues. By druggists.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

--Kafee Klatschs and Yum-Yum teaa
are the fashionable entertainments fos
charities IN Brooklyn. : Brooksys
Ea0Ee,
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22
$500

Many splendid fortunes lie in the English
Court of Chancery, which belong to Amer
can citizens, The court has held possession
in some cases, for more than one hundred
and fifty years. Cox & Co, London, En-
gland, have with great care and diligence
compiled book containing the names of
fifty thousand heirs and their descendants
who have been advertised for to claim
these fortunes. The book gives Christian
and surnames, and instructions how to pro-
coed for the recovery of money and estates,
Sent free to all parts Of the world upon
receipt Of one dollar. Remittance may be
made by registered letter or money order.
Address COX & co, fl Southampton
Buildings, London, England. Cox & Co.
refer by permission to the Kellogg News
paper Company, New York.
LIVING on tick-Telegraph operators
National Weekly.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

IHE best preparation for coIorjn, 1bo
beard is bucklnshams Dye for the WbiSSIts.
10 strengthen and i~nvigorate the stom
ach, ana 70 stimulate the appetite, TAX
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

WHEN " wa a small boy thew used
70 cal h!m Figures because they can not
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

Down East singingmasters always look
out for the Maine chants.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

WIEN is a bride like a shipa When :,
egrdm. L. e.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

ALWAYS goes round with a long face-an
alligatOr.-Peck's Sun.
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

PIE sT~o"TH4"HF nn1r> ""rn'r1mnu'c 2l
t''hh N"}"7r Sal. aro,~a' Ura .t.f"- 25c
"hA E~Eh'NrrE. ~Cpu-4L Ilyus
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

soDA wATEh j.. 'la gGea, s4m1.er 8zz.e.-
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

CHIEF Two-BELLr, OF the Crow tribe, ia
oead There is rejoicing a. his old board
ing houSe -Boston Posi-,
The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1886-05-22

BRONCHITIS is cured by frequent small
doses OF Piso's Cure for Consumption.
"THaoUGH by daylight"-The house.
breaker. -Lys.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10
From Ransom.

RANSOM, July 8, 1SS6.-The largest
crowd that ever was in Ransom, came to
town Saturday to celebrate, the exercises
being shortly after one O'clock, by mag
niticent parade headed by assistant marshal
Breeze then came the Ransom band keep
ing step to the inspiring strains of "See the
conluering hero come" and Hail to the
Chief" followed by a crowd of the ''rising
generation who showed their patriotism
by hurrahing, and using the glorious fire
crackers. w Il, Jackson read the Decara,
ton Of Independence and DR.. Mccoy de-
livered an Grafton. The choice feature of
the programme was the Balloon ascension by
Prof. Ward. He performed many DARN G
feats on the trapeze, but on account of the
balloon taking fire he was forced to come
down sooner than he intended to. The foot
race, wheel barrow race, and catching the
greasy pig furnished fun for the boys The
fire works and dancing were first class
Miss Katie O'Mara will teach in District
No. l this fall.
A delegation of democrats, politicians
from Ottawa, was in town last week
The music of the sickles is heard every
day.
Mr.. Thos. Steven and wife, of Morris,
were in town Saturday.
Ransom is TO have a city park. So says
the city dads.
Patriotism ran high this year, as most
of the young folks celebrated on the third
nd fourt h. SCRIPTOR.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10
From w allace.

WALLACE, july Z, 1SS6-We have good
weather here, and roads are In excellent
condition.
The schools are closed, and the teachers
out for vacation.
All the young people spent their Fourth
In Ottawa.
Dancing is all the 90 here. The dance
at James Burk's on last Saturday night was
an entire success and good time had by
all who attended, while the dance at ID.
Connells was also a success.
james Donohue is freely distributing the
cigars. No wonder; il is ten pound girl.
Johnnie Pillion, son of Judge Pillion, of
this town, while on his returning home
from town on the Fourth, met with quite
a severe accident, and runaway, his team
became unmanageable and running for
three miles when they ran into a team and
buggy which il met ON the road, upsetting
the buggy and seyerly injuring It's occu-
pants.
The party OF young people that went
fishing Wednesday evening had an entire
success. and number of fish were caught
by all.
w. Maiden met with quite severe &C
cident ON Monday evening while crossing
the Buck Creek grldge with horse anu
cart. The horse became unmanageable
and unset the cart, throwing its occupants
INTO the creek some twenty feet below
Wash wonderfully escapeG with only a
fractured limb, tor whice CauSh he will
have u carry ,rutches for \ couple OF
M o,hs. Dc, -.-SOw.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10
From Dayton.

DAYTON, ILL.,, july 7, lSSG--Our village
with the rest of this section Of county, we
| suppose, Is sweltering at present in the
heat Of the nineties, and our people are
valnly signing for cool Manitoba wave,
a fine breeze however is blowing to-day
and we hope the "hot' spell is over for the
present.
Most Of our citizens spent the glorious
Foruth Cor 5th) IN Ottawa and took in" all
the sports and fireworks.
! There is a slight difference of o. inion as
TO the success Of the celebration, but nearly
every one thinks il might be improved upon
in great many particulars.
Messrs. Burt w. Stadden, p. w. Lilly,
and William Pettis, of Chicago, came
down Sunday evening and spent Sunday
among friends and acquaintances in Day.
ton, and "took in" the celebration al Ottawa
on Monday.
Misses, Cora and Winnie Childs of Nor
ris, spent last Sunday in Dayton.
Mr.. Charles Park of Shabboha, ILL.,, is
visiting at Mr.. Charles Green's.
Mrs VIM. Nc Mullen of Clinton, Iowa, is
spending the summer at her mothers Mrs,
David Green.
Mr.. Jessie Makinson celebrated with his
best girl in Indiana on the 4th and 9TH
Mr.. James Ryan ate his Forth of July
spring chicken in Chicago.
few of our citizens held pleasant pic
mic near Barnes fish pond last Sunday
Oar public schools closed last Friday,
and the teachers, Messrs Crane and Miller
are spending their vacation at their homes
in Ottawa.
Miss Jennie Dunavan left town on the
7.4O train Friday morning for brief visit
among relations in Michigan. During her
absence, her position as organist in the s.
5. will be taken by Miss Cora Moore.
The Brick Co are loading a boat with
brick for King e Hamilton of Ottawa, we
understand they have bought 10000 brick.
The Brick Co. has just put in Penfeld
Brick and Tile machine, and will make fire
brick, sidewalk brick, &c.
The Paper Co. are turning out about six
tons of straw wrapping paper per "a hours |
Prof jenkins of Mendoza tried his luck |
at fishing here, a few days last week.
There are few camping and fishing part |
les along the river here at present.
ii, b. Williams, Esq has been painting
and repairing his tenant houses in Dayton
this spring, and greatly improved Their APP |
pearances. The paper mill also received |
coat of paint which makes it look quite |
respectable.
Mr. Henry Hewitt who was called to his |
home in Wisconsin by telegraph, short
time ago stating that his mother was quite |
i'll, has not returned yet. OCCASIONAL.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10

The Bee Hive Dry Goods Store is known
in Chicago as the busiest store in that great
city.
Although Millinery is their leading
feature they have increased their stocks of
regular Dry Goods, such as Dress Goods,
Silks, Linens, and more especially Carpets
and Upholstery Goods, to such an extent
that we deem it our duty to call this fact
to the attention of such of our readers as
contemplate visiting Chicago this Spring.
1t may also be remembered that the Pro
prietors of the Bee Hive will pay particular
attention to any Mail Orders.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10
,Hew Embellishments.

Reliable Salcsmen 10 Travel and
Sell 10 the trade our Celebra-
red Cigars. Tobacco,
Liberal arrangements. Salary
'css Immediately, NEW YORK
o No. / Fourth Ave, y. Y.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10

II was evident, from the manner in which
the crowd deserted the streets and moved
towards the banks of the Illinois river, that
the days interest conferred in the regatta
feature OF the days entertainment, which
was advertised to occur at four clock. At
least ten thousand people stood upon the
banks of the river waiting for the sport to
begin. Shortly after four the barge claw.
renee" carrying number of the members
of the Club with the ladies', Mr. George A..
Mcclellan, of the Farragut Boat CLUB, Chi
cago. in command, and who acted as Judge
was rowed TO the north side of the Illinois,
and the boats for the skiG race ordered out.
Five persons from Peru, Ottawa and In Sale
participated in it. Throughout il was close.
but at the finish was won by Il. Evenls Of
Peru.
The single seull race followed The con-
testaRis were j. + Flemminr, O.. Moline, L.
{, Arp. .,.oLt1. Ca4a--, All Wan 81
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10

Although our store keepers at home have
lately made greater efforts than heretofore
in showing a better assortment 81 Dress
Goods and Staple Dry Goods, 1t must, how
ever be admitted that in certain branches,
such as Millinery, Ladies' and Children's
Ready-made Suits, Wraps, &c, &C., only a
Chicago House like the great Bee Hive
Store, opposite the Palmer House, can fill
the wants Of fastidious ladies.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10
Marriage License 5.

The following marriage liz enses were iss-
ued during the past week, oy the County
Clerk.
August Schwamberger and Mrs Louisa
Dirk.
Hermann Otto Koehler and Johanna
khhu.
Hans johnson and Martha Samson.
Robert Caruthers and Mary Ann al
Henry W Bryant and Charlotte VI { CIV.
i.iu.u W. -. Z .cJlln! A.et-.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-10
ASKED W Uormeland and Martha Ander.

John Morgitan and Mary Choyanit2.
Theodore X Holmes and Jessie Z Seley.
Michael fIardiman and Mary A Clancy.
Anton Wa-hkowiack and Sophia She
kirke