Morning journal and courier., 1886-12-11
TNFOR M ALTON.

Boston Record man overheard one wo- man in 8 street car inform another that sGeorge" had just "entered the sycamore class" at Harvard.
 ssYou seem to be in the clouds, MI. ega- sus," said friend to absent minded verge writer the day after class dinner. ''I cer- tainly do feel like thunder" was the weary Bulletin.
 A contemporary says: "We consumed much more pig iron the first six months of this year than during the corresponding pe- riod last year." That editor must certainly
 have "patent inside. e."-Norristown Herald.
 Judge-Why don't you go to work instead of loafing around? Tramp (with dignity
 Your honor forgets that I am a loyal mug wump and obey the Presidents injunction to refrain from 'pernicious activity. Howell Citizen.
 The Chicago anarchists have adopted new line of defence in case they get new trial. They will claim that no bomb was thrown at all; that it was only woman who ran
 through the crowd with an umbrella in one hand and market basket in the other. The only weak point in this defence is that the
 carnage was too slight. Fond and partial mamma-"Why are all those men crowding about that Hopkins girl, Mamies I can't imagine what they see | in her. She isn't rich, she isn't pretty, she | can't do anything but recite, and she does | that badly! I wonder Mrs. Smith asked her here" Experienced daughter-"You don't | understand, mamma. They're committee. Mrs. Smith detailed them-to keep her talk | ing. ."-The Christmas Puck.
 | An Illegal transaction. Young girls fa-
 ther-"You here again?" Young man
 'sYes, believe am." Young girls father election day, November B." Young girls l father-ssWhats that got to do with ita' Young man-'Ive been looking up the law, | and find that business transacted on legal l holiday is illegal. ."-Tid Bits. A mother gave her little boy two bright new pennies and asked him what he was go- | ing to do with them After moments | thought the child replied: s'I am going to give one to the missionaries and with the
 other am going to buy stick of candy. :" | After while he returned from his play and l told his mother that he had lost one of the | pennies (Which did you Josef" she asked. | q lost the missionary penny" he promptly | replied. How many grown people are | like that little boyi-Richmond Religious Herald.
 Johnny was sick last summer and had to
 stay in the house while there was circus in | town. Naturally, it did not sweeten his | temper and his mother had to talk to him. 'sMy child" she said, 'syeu must not com plain because you sick. It is very | wicked You want to go to heaven, don't you?"
 "Yes'ni," he growled, "but not till after the circus. A little boy can go to heaven any | time, but circus ain't in town every day" Washington Critic.
 | The Burglar and the Judge.-A Copper | having Surrounded three Suspicious Charae
 ters and escorted them to the Station, from
 whence they were speedily taken into court,
 One of them Appealed to the Judge: 'Real- | ly, your Honor, the case against me is not as
 bad as the Officer would make out. I am 6
 Burglar by Profession and it was only by Ac- I cident that met these two men, who are 1 Ward Strikers. don't Belong with them,
 nohow." "Ayel but Burglars Should be
 More Choice of their Company, and I give
 you Sixty in the Cooler" was the Prompt re- sponse as the prisoner was waved away. | Moral: Sorry to Remark that an Opposition Candidate came down and paid the Fines of
 the eStrikers.-American Fables, in Detroit | Free Press.