The Dillon tribune. [volume] (Dillon, Mont.) 1881-1941, 1886-07-24
WIT AND liUNIOIs.
4 Cir, who could spell Deuteronomy
.Ant! had studied domestic economy,
Went to skate at the rink,
And as (lIi,k as 1, wink

1t Is with the understanding tHal AcA
entire family live with you. In this
country there is no understanding. but
the result is the same "HdIo Ea-
press.
Are we going to take 100000 more
acres of land from the sous OF the tor
est? Not if the men who think each
Indian must have 10000 acres of land
to turn his horse around on can help II.
--PiIolelphia Press.
The Jouruu, of Pckin. China, was
established in OIL. ana the present pub
Usher opens his eyes with surprise
when an old gentleman from the rural
districts enters the office and says he
has been n subscriber since the first
number appeared and shows Il receipt
to prove it.. Norrist0wn Herald. :.
An Indianapolis hotel. according to
the yourRut. furnishes potatoes Il Ia
pone dc tare.' Boston, through the
| Heruid. follows suit with "Cofee and
Lunch Cafe" Washington is never
LETT. She taxes the trick With y restau-
rant which furnishes Cafe an lait
with sugar and milk. y Woshtu aton
Hatchct.
DR.. Harrison, OF New York, has mar
ricd :. daughter OF Brigham Young. If
the doctor, in an unguarded moment,
were 10 ask his wife to invite her BROTH
ers and sisters to tea some evening,
and the invitation should be accepted.
nc won." have to hire q hall and EN- loy
two .: three Gozcn walters. .,oryts-
touH Hrn(d.
\ teacher iii one of or" o,,. +.
9 1a''fa the ':n, other 10y Ii my Of her
y = ord ~, 'o'' give ne definition OF the
t r"'' .euds, hi, seemed puxxler
-. 9 HIKE 10Y Tear the front HELD up
hEs hand u"u ~aisi: Il know what
candy i'll. '.A:., what is ii?' HE
It'll boy what kithcth the girlth. -
Brooklyn Gazette.
The millionaire was dying. He was
s sas DO to p y5 n, ny 5;t trssd
hand Il IL Old oil legal i'"s ADVISER '4s
~, haYs ! Qw2 to you. m; ard I
will Do a'::yst ln!::s : yc1 may ask. What
ah l...i / do?'' Make a will,' replied
the lawyer laconically,
At recent gathering in St. Louis
General Sherman was present. Said
Young lady resident: '.He doesn't look
! like q literary man. ''Oh. he isn't"
replied another young lady resident.
..Didn' he write School for Scandal?'
..AIercy, no. You are thinking of
General sheridan. He is not here to-
night. ''-Ihc Ingleside.
Colonel William Pope, a wealthy res
ident of Galveston, hired a professor to
teach his eldest boy, who was very lazy
indeed. "Now that have shown You
how to do that sum, I'll prove it to YOU,
to show you that it is correct" said
the professor, who was teaching him
arithmetic. mo need of proof, pro-
lessor; will take your word for it. I
know you wouldn't tell me lie. ~
Isaas Svtings.
''Humph!' he called as he Gu,
through his buckwheat cake and
dropped knife and fork. whats the
matterp" asked the landlady. ABDUL.
terated!'' what with?' ''Hair-pins!'
..Oh! is that all? When you first
spoke didn't know but the cook haG
been using some of that extra fine tloul
along with the buckwheat, though
expressly forbade her doing so. DE
tr0it Free Press.
An old Chelsea prisoner, seated or
the embankment, was lamenting tn,
death of a comrade. ''Poor old chap
How shall l get on without him?'
''Were you very much attached to him
then?' inquired a bystandcr. "'Twasn'
altogether that, sir" replied the veter
an; ''but, you see, he'd lost his left lie!
: and I've lost my right. We shared
pair of boots between lis, and it's ten t,
one whether there's another in the hos
, pital whose feet are SO exactly the sam
, size as mine. - Edinburgh Scotsman
just as the depot man in Philadelphi
announced "'rhe Chicago limited, pas
sengers going West" in the Pennsyl
wanna railway depot, and as a man Q
| 80 and young woman were risin
from their seats to take the train, VIC
, man of about the mans age dropped
! parcel in his companions lap, saying
. IF you're going with my husban
you'd better take his baby along.
The scene which followed showed tn:
. the elder woman had the best of tn
= argument. The man disappeared an
= the young woman returned to her home
a No names. No cards.
5 The Fox and the Trap: \ Fox havin
4 Appeared at 4 Picnic with one of h
Q forepaws missing was at once interrs
i gated by all hands as to how the Acc
Q dent occurred, and he presently replied
S 1.-The Truth is, Ladies and Gentlemen
9 l got that foot into Il Trap and Ate
l. off rather than be Knocked on tt
head At this confession there W:
uproarious laughter and much ridicul