The Arkansaw traveler., 1886-02-27
HOTEL ETIQUETTE.
[Bill NYe, in Boston Globe.l

Bill Nye, in Boston Globe.1
 Etiquette at hotels is a subje ect that has been but lightly treated upon by our modern philosophy and yet it is sub ject that lies near to every American heart. Had not already more reforms cn hand than can possibly successfully operate l would gladly use my strong so- cial influence and trenchant pen in that direction. Etiquette at hotels, both on the part of the proprietor and his hire hngs. and the guest, is a matter that calls loudly for improvement.
 The hotel waiter alone would we'll re- pay close study. From the tardy and polished loiterer of the effete east to the off-hand and social eqral of the budding west, ali walters are deserving of phiio- sophical scrutiny. l was thrown in con- tact with waiter insNew York last sum- mer, whose manners were far more pol ished than my own. Every time saw him standing there with his immediate pantaleons and swallow-tail coat and the far-away, chastened look of one who had been unfortunate, but not crushed, 1 felt that was unworthy to be waited upon by such blue-blooded thoroughbred, and often wished that we had more such men in congress. And when he would take my order and go away with 1t, and after the meridian of my life had softened into the mellow glory of the sere and yellow leaf, when he came back, still looking quite young, and never having for gotten me, recognizing me readily, after the long, dull, desolate years, was glad, and felt that he deserved something more than mere empty thanks, and said to him: "Ah, sir, you still remember me after years of privation and suffering When every one else in New York has forgotten me, with the exception of the confidence man, you came to me with the glad light of recognition in your clear eye. Would you be offended if gave you this trihing testimonial of my re- gard z" at the same time giving him my note at thirty days.
 which to always remember me, and l guess he has.
 Speaking of walters reminds me of one at Glendive, Montana. We had to tele- graph ahead in order to get a place to sleep, and when we registered the land lord showed out an old double-entry jour- nal for us to record our names and pest office address in. The office was the bar, and before we could get our rooms assigned us we had to wait forty. five minutes for the landlord to collect pay for thirteen drinks and lick a personal friend. Finally, when he got around to me, he told me that could sleep in the night bar.tender's bed, as he would be up all night and might possibly get killed and never need it again anyhow. It would cost me $4 cash in advance to sleep one night in the bar-tender's bed, he, said, and the house was so blamed full that he and his wife had got to wait till things kind of quieted down, and then they would have to put mattress on the fifteen-ball pool table and sleep there.
 called attention to my valuable valise that had been purchased at great cost, and told him that he would be safe to keep that behind the bar till paid, but he said he wasn't in the secondhand va- lise business, and so paid in advance. 1t was humiliating, but he had the edge on me.
 At the tea table I noticed that the waiter was young man who evidently had not always been thus. He had the air of one who yearns to have some one tread on the tail of his coat. Weakness, with me, is one of my characteristics. It is almost passion. It is the result of personal injuries received in former years at the hands of parties who excelled me in brute force, and who succeeded in drawing me out in conversation, as 1t were, till made remarks that were inju- dicious.
 So did not disagree with this water, although mad grounds. When he came around and snorted in my ear "Salt pork, antelope and cold beans," at the same time leaning his full weight on my back, while he evaded the revenue laws by re- tailing his breath to the guests without a license, thought would call for wh at he had the most of, so said If he didn't mind and it wouldn't be too much trou- ble, would take cold beans.
 will leave it to the calm, impassion- ate and bipartisan reader to state whether that remark ought to create ill., feeling. do not think it ought. How. ever he was irrita ole, and life to him seemed to be cold and dark. So he went to the general delivery window tha led into the cold bean laboratory, and re- marked in a hoarse, insolent and ironical tone of voice:
 "Nother damned suspicious-looking character wants cold beans."