Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1886-08-19
spNBEAMs,

ought to be useful. They might as
well be smoking hams as cigars. |,
An exchange says that ice two inches
lhick will support man. In midsum.
mer it supports the iceman and his en-
tire family.
He-''And now, Sarah, what kind
Of an engagement ring shall ! get
you?" She-"Solid gold, | guess,
Henry. I'm so tired of wearing imi-
tation gold for engagements"
"Young men believe in nothing now
adays," said Mrs. Ramsbotham, with a
deep sigh. "Why, there's my nephew
Tom, who was brought up as Chris
tan and now he's an acrostic."
A New Britain Conn. man has
beeu sentenced to six months imprs-
onment for kissing a Massachusetts,
girl. Many man has been made al
lifelong prisoner just by kissing al
girl.
A servant who prided herself on liv-|
ing in genteel family, being asked to
define the term, said, "Why, they
keep a carriage, have three or four
kinds of wine and never pay bill the
first time it is called for"
Furniture dealer Ito lady who is
going into housekeeping)-"Can't l
sell you a nice, strong, rocking chair,
ma'am?" Lady good naturedly)-
mot just now. sir. My girls are not
yet old enough to have company"
One of the most humiliating expert
ences in mans lite is to sit in a den
lists chair and have him bore up six
or eight inches into the head without
noticeably interfering with the brain,
which was supposed to fill the upper
story.
"Science enumerates five hundred
and lightweight species of organic
forms in the air we breathe. just
think of it, Every time you draw in
your breath whole geological garden
slips down your windpipe, and no free
tickets to the press.
! An Illinois young farmer is accused
lof using this tropical language as con
lclusive proof OF his ardor and fidelity
"My best loved one, ! chawed the
postage stamp ON your last letter all t.
, Thunder, because knowed you licked
it on"
u The ministers in large cities are nov
meditating with interest upon tn
words of Simon Peter 81 go fishing.
1t is not recorded, however, that Pete
and all the other disciples ever lei
| town in a body and shut up all thei
! churches during vacation.
Men may talk about their love 70
r the old homestead and women ma
1 prattle about its memories being woun
y around their hearts, but we have nc
: iticed that there is nothing clings to
y so closely as a good healthy mortgage
1t never loses its interest in the oil
place.
II A Texas preacher caught four {
q five boys in his peach trees. He di
not punish them, but merely SAT-
You ought to be ashamed of you
!, selves, particularly the big boy
Which of you boys here is the Oldest
"Hc amt here at all, sir. he didn
: know that we were coming" said
:, youngster.
Mrs. Brown (laying down Il
: ipaper)-"I see the loveliest women
y Kansas are found In Cherryvale; al
strange to say they never wear corset
T How different from our Norther
fe women" Mr.. Brown (disgusted)
IN "Yes, indeed. Up here our socie
ladies wear nothing else"
A Catasauqua youngster, who W
being put to bed the other nigt
wanted his back scratched and tn
D. soothing operation was being pe
formed when he began his pray'
This is the way he started it: INC
lay me down to sleep, pray t
Lord-scratch, why don't you"
A young society girl in the city sa
that if there is any one thing me
necessary than another it is that
n boys should be taught at school
k WELD a lady's fan to lady's satista
ton. Not one male person in a hu
- dred, she says, knows the first thi
u about tanning lady as it ought to
done.
III An uptown woman just after she h
got down her washing, told her Ia
10 ing -over-the fence neighbor that S
was actually SO tired that she col
. scarcely stand on her feet. In fife
AZ minutes after that she began tv
" hour stand on an acquaintance's sid
walk waiting for funeral to start, a
8. she stood 1t out.
att "How does my wife take my ines
ceration?" asked convicted Norm
ltC,cto
4 tout; Jennie is sad at times; Mart
ae doesn't seem to care very mut
tn Sophie says she is going back to
ur parents in Tennessee; while Eugel
is already engaged again" "Ah.
al wife is wonderful woman, isn't sht
say, Dick, don't you think that
IL the women had TO do the fighting,
III stead of the men, they would ma
ss hot work of lt?" mo; why do y
OF ask% because 1 think they won
they have such an engaging way W
ns them" That's very true, but IL
have also such a captivating wi
there would be doubtless more pris
ers than killed"
: "Good morning, Cicely, my dea
\ exclaimed her intimate, as she cal
= in on her way to shopping to
Ep "Do come and help me to select n
,ss sp ing bonnet; now that's a g
n dear!' Why, now, it really is
. possible. You know l helped you
I lect your winter cloak, and you alw
thought it was horrid thing" ctr
but this time, you know, l o
want your judgment, so as to KIN
ne what not to buy"
Mr.. Dusenberry; "Well, I'll adr