The Washington critic., 1886-12-22
GENERAL AND oRIrIcuLaH.

AS before announced in this column, SEN
ator Blackburn, the genial Joe, is power.
ful taker Some years ago, when Mr..
Blackburn was o candidate for Congress,
there was TO be public hanging IN his dis
trlet with thousands In attendance and he
was among the distinguished guests, and
was on the platform with the condemned
and such newspaper men as had survived
the climate Of Kentucky. The drop was to
occur at IL noon, and ten minutes before
that time the sheriff asked the hangee II he
had anything to say.
"No, haven't" he answered, in a surly
tone, for he was bad.
Then Mr.. Blackburn rose.
"Mr. Sheriff." he said with all his
suavlty and grace, "I ask the gentleman
to yield me his unexpired time, as have
q few remarks TO make on question of
great political interest"
The sheriff turned to his customer:
"Well, may the gentleman speakS" he
asked.
"Not much," he replied, with a growl;
sight rather be hung than be talked to
deathn
The performance went on, and the future
Senator corralled the crowd later.
They had been to see Bishop. She was
bright, sharp girl. He was tender and
beautiful dude. After the entertainment
he was boring her with an attempted
explanation.
~ aho pasI
when he stopped talking minute to rest
his brain.
"Aw," he continued, ~ am sure I can
explain It. Now, for instance, just
imagine am thinking"
al could hardly imagine that, you
know" she Interrupted, so pleasantly and
innocently that the young man changed the
subject.
am splitter from wayback.
Waxem.
a maiden never should be seen
To smoke cigarette,
For Kisses mixed with nicotine
Arc II. f., you can bet.
- Merchant Traveller.
It's very nice for you to talk
About the proper way;
But young man, With your cigarette,
What has the girl TO say?
Heard on Newspaper Row:
Manager De Graw Of United Press to
Colonel Mussey; | notice that Perry Heath,
in his House report, refers to cigar stumps
and chewed guilds as ofral.
Colonel Mussey: AhS On the ground, /
presume, that the tobacco OF which they are
the resduum is awfulg
Hail Congressional cuspidore!
Thou art the weaker vessel
When compared with brass-mounted
Nentilator, which Is
The bottomess spit Of the House.
Thou art too nice, the able Members think,
And as they expect to rate high In your
Esteem,
They expectorate elsewhere.
Chestnut
They are accustomed to meaner things,
And yet Congressman have been known to
Stand upon the pillared gallery front
or the marble Capitol and spit all over
The beautiful landscape spread below,
Which is dsgraceful;
But tits true; tits true tits spitty,
And pity tits, tits true.
| Oh, cuspidore
| 1t is salivaly business you are in;
| So lively that the ventilator is filled
| With bad air and dead tobacco;
| Yet there Is economy In ii,
| For thus our National economiZers
May get twice use of that choice weed,
| Which, fresh, is juicy to the mouth,
And dessicated, has still breathing value.
Oh, cuspidorc,
| They think you are bric-d Jrdc
Or peach blow vase,
And in these days Of JefTersonian
Simplicity,
'Twere sacrilege to spit upon thee.
Therefore, oh cuspi1ure,
You had better 60 sit upon the mantel-piect
And let the ventilaor do all your work
While you draw your salary as usual.
| In the meantime,
| Spittoon is not the tune
| The Congressman sings;
1t is much worse air.
Cry you then, Oh cuspidore, for change,
And possibly this spteous appeal
OF thine may bIiug about
| Reform!
Robinson--Just returned from q year.
absence-Hello, Brown, where's Jones?
Brown: Gone into real estate.
Robinson: Given up the law
Brown: Oh, yes.
Robinson: Got partner?
Brown; No, by himself
Robinson Where
Brown: In the graveyard.