The Washington critic., 1886-05-27
LAW VERSUS LOVE.

tin in law suit is any criterion. Aside
from Mr.. Popkins' misfortune in being
bachelor, he had one fault-a general
aversion to female society and partic-
ular aversion to Miss Sallie Hopkins,
the defendant in the above named law
suit.
Now, be 1t known, that though Miss
Sallie's name was put down on the list
Of o. MS (old maids), she was the
roundest, cosicst dimplc checked spin
ster that ever lived in Lincoln. She
had the softest brown eyes, with a
trick of looking down aud peeping un-
der the lashes perfectly bewildering,
and her hair waved and shone in such
q manner that susceptible party like
you and me would have felt an ire
sistiblc desire to have sole ownership
of the "nut. brown locks"
But however fascinating Miss Sallie
was to the sex in general, as l have
said between her and Mr.. Popkins
there was deadly feud, and the cause
of all the trouble was meadow spread
ing far and wide and unconscious be.
tween Miss Sallic's and Mr.. Popkin's
farms.
Now the truth of the matter was this:
The meadow justly belonged to Mr..
Popkins, but instead OF going to Miss
Sallie and frankly stating the case, he
must serve process of law. Miss
Sallie flew all to pieces and said she
would maintain her rights at any cost.
From the manner in which 1t ended,
one could see that had Mr.. Popliins
gone to her himself, she would have
relinquished 1t gracefully, but a woman
has mortal terror of being forced to
do anything. Tie string around her
neck, feed her with sugar plums, aud
you can lead her to the jumping off
place, but go to drive her, and for OBJ.
stinacy she will beat Mark Twain
mule all to pieces.
When Miss Sallic met Mr.. Popkius
on the street her nose was decidedly
retr0UsSe, and Mr.. Popkins looked like
an automaton Cardiff giant.
The neighbors were forced to take
part in this case, for when invitations
were issued for the regular tea parties,
obliged to omit Miss Sallie, and vice
versa.
In the meantime the lawsuit dragged
its slow length along, from session to
session, until it was as familiar as A B
G. But fate had taken In hand the des-
tiny of these two obstinate individuals,
and soon brought matters to most sat
isfactory conclusion, though the un-
conscious mediator was rather d bur-
lesque on the higher tragedy daily
enacted.
There lived close to these belliger-
ants good. .natured old man. nearly as
deaf as post, who had the greatest
faculty for blundering on unfortunate
facts Of any individual known either
in ancient or modern history.
He never heard anything correctly,
and it was an utter impossbility to try
to explain and If you attempted it you
would find yourself tloundering in a
perfect slough of despair.
Miss Sallie and Mr.. Popkins had re-
ceived notice that their case would
come up for the final hearing
week. Miss Sallie concluded tc
take the stage; Uncle Ben Drop
per, our deaf friend, had business
little distance on the road, and he
would take the stage too, and Mr.. Pop
kins' saddle horse fell sick Just as he
was needed, and there being no time
for other arrangements, he must take
| the same conveyance
Miss Sallie came floating down to the
gate with ribbons and bows and dainty
| dress, sufficient to bewilder man with
as stony heart as the Sphinx, and saw
| approaching from the opposite side heI
foe, in immaculate broadcloth and shirt
| front. For moment the color rushed
to her cheeks and she half resolved tc
60 back; but to be outdone by man
and he Popkins, was not to be though
of, so she stepped into the coach will
an air of sixteen Queen Victorias, ele
waiting her head until 1t made an acute
angle with her nose, and became sub
timely unconscious Of any ones pres
ence.
Mr.. Popkins seated himself as though
he had swallowed whole foundry anC
had his pockets full of eggs for des
sert. Just then came Uncle Ben, puff
ing and blowing, utterly unconsciou
of the oaths of the impatient Jehu.
| Good morning, Miss Sallie," salt
he, seating himself beside her. "Goot
morning, Mr.. Popkins. Where nigh
you be going, and what for?"
"To Harrow" said Mr., Popkins, II
his most polite manner, answering tn
first question, and ignoring the last.
"Du tell % and the round face fairl.
beamed with placid surprise. "Goin!
to marryY Well, / told Hester las
night that was the suit after all. Their
amt no more capable girl anywher
than Sallie, and I'm glad you found
out. And Mr.. Popkins is wonderful
clever" turning to Sallie, "and instea
of there being two farms and law
suit, there need be only one. Law
bless me !" rubbing his hands with il
creased satisfaction, 'if it amt a tiI
top arrangement.
| Mr., Popkins clutched at his throat q
though he was choking to death, an
made spasmodic efforts to utter q wor
of explanation, but his tongue wa
utterly palsied and failed him in TIL
emergency. Miss Sallie, with face c
the deepest rose color, placed her han
to her mouth and shouted, so as t
startle the horses.
II am going to see Mr.. Stiles on bus
ness"
oh, day Of blundersl Mr.. Stiles wa
her lawyer, but the unfortunate gil
was unaware that Presbyterian mil
lister had the same cognomen.
"Mr. Stiles" said our friend, "wel
I've heard him well spoken of, but
never expected you, Sallie, Baptis
to be married by any one but ministt
of your own church; but suppose yo
gave way to Mr.. Popklns, and it show
downright good disposition,
Miss Sallie gave up in despair, an
looked fiXedly out of the window
while Mr.. Popkins' lips moved occi
sionaly as though he were asking fC
water, but the unconscious cause of n
this turmoil sat serene and hAnnY. il