The Arizona sentinel., 1886-08-14
HOW IT IS DONE.
Story of the Purchase, Fitting and Max
 ing of Feminine Suit.

| story or the PurcnaSe, ElUtlDS ana MAX
 ing of Feminine Suit.
 I saw Graham's wife pricing dress goods yesterday, and I know what S going to happen. Indeed, I can give you the programme without variation. She will be three days buying the goods, and as soon as she gets the pattern home she'l Il sit down and weep because she didn t take one of the others.
 After she has braced up she will in- duce him to buy her four dollars worth of fashion magazines, and she will Dor row every fashion plate in the neigh borhood. On top of that she will ask at least fifty women how she ought to make it up.
 The next step is to find dress-maker -one who is reasonable in her charges who won't steal the cloth-who has got taste-who is responsible if she makes mistake.
 About fifty women will Oe consulted as to the dress-maker, and Mrs. Gra- ham will finally make a selection. Af- ter she has made it she will be sorry that she didn't take one of the others.
 Then come days of anxiety for the Graham household. A fashion is se- lected after many headaches, and Mrs. Graham is measured. In three days she is to come and be fitted The three days are given her in which to worry for fear she wont have enough cloth, or the sleeves will be too short or too long, or the skirt will be too full or too scant.
 Mrs. Graham has scarcely reached home before messenger calls with a note. She hasn't got cloth enough by five yards. She turns snow white Gra- ham, who happens to be home, turns blood red.
 Qnterval of half an hour for family matinee, during which Graham brains every dressmaker in town with an axe helve-in imagination.)
 (More money-more cloth
 Mrs. Graham goes down to be fitted, and is put on the rack for an hour. This seam is to be taken up and that one let out, little more fullness here, not quite so much there. About the same as sitting for six styles of photographs uuu HdNlI UllIct lcctu puIicu
 ''Well?" growls Graham.
 ''Oh! it's going to be just too lovely! You ought to see what a perfect fit!''
 The dress is to done Wednesday, Graham drives his wife down, but one of the apprentice girls has been i'll.
 Another trip on Thursday. Some of the trimming had to Ee changed.
 Third trip on Friday. Be done to- morrow, for sure. The madame had tn redrapo it, you know:
 The parcel comes up Saturday night, and Mrs. Graham wears smile once more, and Graham has half a mind to compliment the dress. He sits down to smoke and she rushes upstairs to try it on.
 Qnterval of fifteen minutes to pre- pare red and blue powder and imitation thunder)
 (Smothered sounds of sobbing from up-stairs.)
 "Hello! Mary! come down and let's see how you look"
 "W-William, come up!'
 "Well, now, what is it?''
 .'Oh! W-William. but I told her to be sure to give me a comfortable waist, and here l can't button it to save my life
 (Silent indignation on the part of Gra- ham
 And the s--sleeves are so tight that I can't raise my a-arms!''
 (Veins on Graham's neck begin to stand out like broom-handles.)
 And the s-skirt is shorter behind than in front Ohi W-William, I'm so disappointedr'
 (Three grunts, four shouts and forty seven hard words from Graham, with such an imitation of a thunder storm that neighbors run out of their houses.)
 The dress goes back Monday. Oh, yes, it can be altered, but the madame SUD- posed she was making a dress for fash ionable lady. No fashionable lady ex- poets to raise her arms or draw con- fortable breath.
 Mrs. Graham goes down Tuesday.
 Mrs Graham goes down Wednesday. MT. and Mrs. Graham go down Thurs day and get the dress.
 (Another interval of fifteen minutes to get out the war-club and load the shot-gun.)
 ''Well?''
 'It is all right this time, only it wrinkles in the back, puckers under the arms, and there ought to be more padding on this shoulder. The drapery isn't very tasty, and one side of the skirt is an inch longer than the other, but it's right, my dear. You won't have to worry over it any more"
 0nterval of six weeks, and then Gra- ham goes through the same mill again, and the family doctor advises him to leave the house he is living in for an- other in which there is no sewer gas to act as slow poison on his wife).-M QuGd, i1a Detroit Free Press.