Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1886-07-08
The President Neglects Opportunities.

The President has been so humorous
in his vetoes of the pension bills that
the NeD York World offers him posi-
ton as funny man for that paper when
he shall have retired from the presiden-
tial office. 1.-The lurking sarcasm that
can be read between the lines of his
veto messages has tickled many Demo-
cratic readers. The nation,n says one
enthusiastic writer, ''has keen appre-
citation OF humor and the President S
happy manner will be very popular"
1t doesn't seem to make any difference
that this humor Is at the expense of
poor devils with chronic diarrhea and
rheumatism, many of whom, if not all,
fully deserve the 81 or "a month
which Congress has voted them-their
small claims are laughed away as
though they were in fact the rascally
things the President represents.
But what an opportunity for humor
the President threw over his shoulder
when he vetoed the Fitz John Porter
bill. What sarcastic and amusing
veto message he could have written on
this claim for ''justice." How he could
have riddled Porter's claim of service
at the second battle of Bull Run-Por-
ter lying in the grateful shade by the
roadside, after a stupendous march of a
dozen miles, his fresh troops enjoying
holiday, while Mcdowell and Hooker
and Kearney were being knocked out
of shape by superior numbers What
fun he could have made of the fact, tes-
titled to by the Confederate Gen. j. L.
b. Stuart-good Democratic authority
that Porter knew so little of the situa-
ton in his front that detachment of
rebel cavalry drawing brush along the
road to kick up dust, led him to be-
lieve he had an army corps opposed to
him. How he could ridicule Porter
appeal to the ex-Confederate generals
to prove that they would have licked
him if he had undertaken to fight them
Confederate evidence cooked up years
after the event and contradicted by the
Confederate official reports made at the
time.
Only the President high sense of his
| duty to his party could have induced
him to forego this excellent opportunity
to display his power of sarcasm and
humor. Porter is o prominent Demo-
crat, holding prominent Office in New
York, the victim of Republican NAL
ice," and his claim was a party issue.
| SO it became necessary to sign the bill
for his restoration to the army and sac
rilice an opportunity to make a funny
veto. The poor devils who are after
pensions of 81 month are safer objects
of humor.
The President has an opportunity to
write humorous and sarcastic letter
to his attorney general, requesting his
resignation. Hardly anything could
have more points for sarcasm than Gar
lands "vjndication. Even a soldier
with chronic diarrhea isn't as funny as
Garland's operations for aking
president. Garland's clam, for ex-
ample, that the $1,000, 900 in telephone
stock was not q gift--his indignant re-
ply that he paid for it. He paid $3.50.
His ostentatious departure for his farm
and Goode's institution of remarkable
suit in his absence-a suit to make that
stock worth something. HIS refusal to
resign until he should be indicated,
and the destructive character of the
vindication. But the President can res
train his passion for humorous writing.
Here, as in the case of Porter, prom
inent Democrat is involved. The Presi-
dent is not one of those humorists who
make fun of everything. He selects
his subjects with discretion. --MtlUa1t-
Zee Sentinel.