St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-07-17


common-sense, if she hadn't seen her.
Then she referred to my getting mar
ried again.
Suppose, said she, '.you pretend
for week or SO that you are married.
| and see how it goes"
"An imitation wife," said l.
"Why not?" said she. Il will write
the name of young lady on card,
seal it in an envelope, and you can lock
it in your desk. Then let US suppose
that you are married to her say for two
weeks. During that time ! want you
to act just as if the lady were here in
person and your lawfully-wedded
| wife,
Whose name are you going to write
on the card?" said l.
Never mind" said she. II will
write my preference, and neither of us
will breathe q word about this to a
living SOU"
We agreed on this. Mother wrote
the name on the card and sealed it in
the envelope. l knew it was Vene
Wright's name, so decided to imagine
that Vene was there in person, and so
we started on the week. Monday night
came. That was the night of the
Bachelors German, but I staid at
! home and talked to mother. Then
l played eucher with her for a
while, and we managed to have a very
enjoyable evening. Next morning
mother met me at tho table with smiles,
and about the best breakfast l had
eaten in long while.
You must imagine that your wife
saw to this breakfast" she whispered.
Going up on the street-car that
morning, who should get on but Miss
Beaufort l bowed to her gracefully,
deposited her fare in the nickel box,
and was about to sit down by her when
l happened to think of my imitation
wife at home. and walked to the rear
of the car.
Married men have no business
talking to young ladies'" said I to my
self.
Miss Beaufort looked at me rather
queerly. but said nothing. and thought
the car never would get up town.
Thursday was my evening to call on
vene, and forgot to send her an ex-
cuse. Friday. came note from her.
which mother took the liberty
of opening, as she thought
I would not care, and she
felt like representing my wife in the
desk. 1t was a tender miesive, and
somewhat surprised me when saw it.
But what could do. Married men
have no business getting tender notes
from young ladies. Inasmuch as had
contracted to carry out mothers plan
for two weeks, l left the note for
mother to answer. She is very
truthful woman, but in answering the
note she prevaricated. She said that l
was very sick, and as a natural conse-
quencs Vene called that afternoon to
see me, but was up town and mother
had to invent another story. Then
mother had to come all the way up town
, so as to keep me from coming down
town my usual way for fear Vene
might catch us. l laughed good deal
| at mother, and Vene did not find us
out. but the society reporter of the
paper met her. she told him l was sick.
and the next day all of my society
friends came around, among them Miss
Beaufort.
Mother met her rather coldly, but
invited her to stay awhile.
Il suppose Mr. Silver is almost worn
out with so much going out, " said the
young lady.
He is much better" said mother,
'.but do not think he will 60 out for
several weeks. think shall keep him
,, at home"
II am so glad" said Miss Beaufort,
'.not that you are going to keep him at
home, but that he is not going out so
much. l am getting SO l fairly detest
society,""
Here was . woman who had my
mothers views, and they both, there
upon, had confidential talk, and
pleased each other nightly.
Then she asked mother to call on her
mother, and this mother did. Mean
while was staying home every even
ing and was getting pretty tired OF it
as the two weeks were drawing to Z
close.
Don't you think man ought to take
his wife out once in awhile?" said l to
mother.
..Why not?' said she.
Then I'll take her to the theater to-
night" So bought couple of re.
served seats in the parquet for Satur-
day night, and mother, who repre-
sented my wife, went with me.
We had hardly taken our seats before
l noticed that they were adjoining those
of Miss Beaufort and her mother. My
mother was highly pleased when we
changed seats so that sat by Miss Beau
fort and my mother sat by her. Wewent
home together that night and laughed
and talked q good deal. I think
mother told Mrs. Beaufort what we
had been doing, but did not hear It. !
knew that several days later, after my
two weeks of married life were over, l
went to call on Miss Beaufort. We had
pleasant time together, and just as
was about to leave. the old lady came in.
II forgot to ask you, Mr.. Silver.
what you thought Of married ife?" said
she.
Miss Beaufort looked horriied. but l
laughed.
Mother has been telling on me. has
she?" said l.
"She has," said she.
"Well," said I, ''during the two
weeks was married, l read three good