New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1886-04-08
TIE TALK OF THE DAY

As usual tho pretty seem 10 90 oOlnB
chief getting into all the scrapea The girl in London
who recently coped with the coachman. the guleless
young thing In Paris who poisoned her husband the
stsge-struck Berlin bride who away with q barn
storming company, and the Western-far Western-
young who was recently discovered to be the
wife OF three husbands none Of whom are yet dead
all ravishingy beautiful beings on paper
The plain girl, the other hand never does anything
apparently but work. Che never figures IN scandals or
tragedies and although she be homely enough to
stop clock. she is never heard Of as breaking her
fathers or her husbands heart Let novelist arise
and mmortaze the plain girl for she will never 90 her
self that service.
Results OF Obstruction-scene Mrs. NJ. p: "Yes,
menf and all through those irish members. Poor George
40 exhausted that he can hardly stand on his feet.
Scene 2. Bliardroom Cause OF Georges exhaustion.
i London Judy.
The drink bill OF Great Britain for 1888 was less than
that for 1884 The amount OF this drink bill is equal to
the Nations expenditure for Bread butter and cheese Is
not much less than paid for farms and houses
is three times the spent for tea. sugar. coffee
and cocoa six times tho spent linen and
cotton goods.
Strangers who visit public schools arc puzzled to
know where We Keep tho children OF the very poorest
neatookng boys and girls before theu and are unwll-
ing 10 believe nst Inc a c.s fso. and
hands. have come from the most squad parts OF Bos,
their teachers knowing all about these homes have been
daily teaching them the sefrespect that comes from
ply the shoes and stockings and clean apron: which the
little waits need that they may come to school-lEd-
ward Everett Hale In ST. Nicholas
Both The sun and The Wortd printed portraits OF
Martin Irons yesterday but singuarly enough tho TWO
did not resemble each other at all.
On other Grounds. Maria Ann: "H serpose. Mr.
Charles your holsgant hair horien makes ninpresson
on the ladies hupstairs" Mr. Charles: " What do you
fh h haat Inn Mari Ann
horfered Cafy Noah to lady shall DO nsmeess, In
my most imposing style. and she SEES ses she. as
meanin me-" Buttons earn! She meant the cory,
hurredly, followed by rolling pin. l-!London Fun
The Boston record wants to have John L. Sullivan go
to New-Mcxc leo and meet Geronimo. Is this the Boston
way OF settling the Indian question. or Of settling
John IL
few days ago one OF the editora Of this paper was
rambling through the woods. aud becoming tired SAT
which tho editor proceeded to turn over with his foot
when 10 the most beautiful sight that haa retresned
lay what appeared DO snake Of gold stretched IN
editor the most beautiful o6jSct Of dumb ma
turo he had ever seen. After while he turned the
snake over he than ever astonlshed. for
on It's stomach the following words III the mos; artistic
style were Visible; subscribe Tor Ihs Naeoa'cnes
Say-AerS."-l Nacodoches (IexasJ Star-NeWs
The lurld rhetoric " OF that remarkable address Of
the Knights OF Labor against Jay Gould suggests care
fu study of The Ne,c York Times and literary style
modelled upon It's methods just alter Jay Gould had
called Fagn account FIR Sweating the Grant Trust
Fund Can the Knights have hired Fagin TO run their
literary bureau tor them
The ChriStion Eramher hits good many people in an
article entitled Joining Pastor" 1t says they do not
Join the church. Tncy "uto themselves 10 the popu-
lar pastor. While he stays they stay When he goes.
they scatter and hunt Tor the next popular pastor 10
join.-lsprughe!d Union.
This is the time OF tho year when observing Britons
write tho London papers telling al anxious public
when and where they saw the first nightingale. This
year nignngaes appeared in England In March, though
they usually do not appear until April and the ngntln-
gallo shaps throughout The country are In an ecstasy OF
happiness, Tor 1t prcsages mild and genial spring
novel use is made OF stereoscope detect forged
bank notes. 4 OF hundred francs was recently
submitted the experts OF the Bank OF France as issued
by band OF orger7, but the execution was 80 perfect
defect could be discovered by the closest exani
pected side by side with genuine one in the oblec
tive Of stereoscope the two mases.oi waien, as wen
The result of the experiment was that theloop In letter
genuine one showing that they had not been printed
from the same plste.-lGalgnanis Messenger
Louisville KY, is have opera "just as it pre-
sented in in June 1t is pretty certain that
the audiences will not be cold.
THAT will do, Eugene. You must leave this house
Forever Florence! Great SEQ that isdearest. what
For the third time this evening you have unfeengly
alluded to the theatre and c@nvasback duck, regardess
Of the fact that II Is Lent AIN bat human 20 -
tPhiladelphia Call
Switzerland looks with beggary little
ennal celebration. Next July she Will have the semi
millennal celebration, when monument will be
cd on the battlefield Lucerne, where Arnold Wink
elred "madc way for liberty and died.
Business II business. AT election in Dakota OF
Justice Of the peace Of the candidates announced
That if elected he would marry couples for dollar
apiece ana wait for his pay ill the first child was born
IL superuous state that lie is justice OF
peace by "A considerable majority. He seems TO DE
who wiling grow up with the county, Spring.
Union.
The Boston Record thinks that tho baseball champion
ship might settled by arbitration. Weli give the
pire fair show and he will do it before the is
over
Sermons 10 sUit all creeds" being manufactured
lndustrously hy Cedar Rapids man, who offers them
sale the profession Mnen so desired lie Will pull
Dit them and have by telegraph through the
mails as after that Will not keep minute. New
Orleans Plcayune