Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-01
BRIGHT BITS.


CITY PARsoE--Going to have the hay fever
this year?
Country Parson-No. My congregation
can't afford it.
A SALOON KEEPER sent on his subscription to
paper called the american Bar, and when
the first number arrived he was Disguised to
hnd that instead of Containing recipes for
mixing fancy drinks, ii was full of certOraris,
habeas corpuses, judicial decisions and
Things tie VIII not renew his subscription
when II expires. -NOrrtStOtoB Herdld.
THE Count OF Paris has inst been offered
Claremont Castle by Queen Victoria. Having
declined the generous offer IL is believed thai
the Count is coming TO America Before going
o press CYRUS ". rleld mad not come forward
with his little offer. 1t is almost time by the
way, for Gyms to erect monument to the
memory OF the anarchists recently killed in
ChIchgO.-Fuck.
SAM JONES and Sam Small are now engaged
in an effort TO convert Minnesota people. The
evangelists nave maze a mistake in choosing
the season Tor the work. The fact Is, the Miu %
nesotian doesn't want to 60 to Heaven in the
summer time; Minnesota is good enough for
him then. Catch him in winter, though, and
he is ready to Ike arrangements for moving,
-Chtcdg0 Tribune.
A CELEBRATED LAWYER. who was also we'll
known for the monumental responsiveness of
his features, ono. attacked the prisoner at the
bar with great bitterness. The Judge adj
Vlsed him several times to use more mOdera-
ton, but the lawyer continued his TRADE:
The wretch bears his character in his face
any one may READ 1t. Why, he's the ughest
man ever knew" councillor" again in
terrupted the judge, "you are forgetting your
self. - French Fun.
AT funeral ia North Carolina a few days
ago The coffin arrived at the grave just as the
sexton had finished inspecting some of the
dirt thrown up, and discovered INDICATIONS OF
gold. A hurried consultation was held with
the widow Of the deceased, and she was asked
whether she would 20 ahead and work he
claim or fill up the hole the old man. 81
guess Wen take the co1n over TO the barn
ami cave him there for a few days" she re-
piled. IF there's gold here / want it, and if
there lent any why he won't be no wuss off.
Jacob never was no hand to kick, anyhow,
aud IT'S too late for him to begin now Wall
ST. eet Nf30s.
Welcome Travellers Commercial!
Fellows mat have come so fur shall
Have greeting quite impartial.
How d'you like our streets pictorial,
Drives romantic, parks arDorcal.
Buildings huge and spots memorial?
How do you like the House and Senate
And Rotunda? Pause a minute
And observe the picturs in it!
How do you like the man lin clover
VINO the Nation bosses over
And the girl that bosses Grover?
Welcome, boys The Prince and Plumber
Bridal couple, Duke and Dru mer.
Always come TO town in summer!
- Washington Post.
WHAT FOLKS SAY coulI give away
5000 per day in the name OF charity, and vet
not feel sure that one dollar was of any real
benefit to humanity. detroit millionaire.
ut has always been a queer thing to me that
people who Willingly pay 75c. for Toe. tea are
madden than hop If butter jumps &c a
pound. '-Corntr grocer 81 hez bin movin'
round on top dis yairth mOas so airs now,
AN 1t am my solemn belief dat de pu -son who
pays de least attenshun 10 de weather iniovs
life 30 per cent de best. BRO Gardner. IL
dunno whether watermelons are hurtfuI or
not. Sometimes think they are, and then
again | think they aiN't. You can send over
one weighing about twenty pounds, ard I'll
see if it hurts me'-Prominent PHYSICIAN
Detroit Free Press.