Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-07-28
A PROBLEM SOLVED.
A Kind Physician Removes a
Troublesome Mother-in-Law.

A young man of about thirty years Of
age stepped slowly along one of the
principal streets of the metropolis. He
was of an elegant and interesting pres
ence. He gazed abscnt-mindedly into
the show-windows to his right, and
seemed lost IN thought.
Good morning, Edmund" called &
gentleman apparently ten years his
senior and of compact figure, with 4
full black beard, who was coming to-
wards him. "This is the first time
have seen you since your marriage, and
it confirms the sad aphorism that q
young husband forgcts nothing more
easily than his friends. Do not inter
rupt me, for | intend no rcproachcs
since | am aware of your happiness
You have married the prcttiest girl in
town, and think YOU arc too sensible
not to agree with me when l say that
her money is no drawback. Poverty
makes no one happy, and riches do nc
harm, you know"
Over the handsome face of Mr.. Ed
mund Hagen, the person addressed,
fitted weak smile.
doctor, do not say that YOU are
not right" he answered.; "but money
can not do every thing. l am happy
yet"
He did not finish the sentence.
"YetP" repeated DIR. Henry Brosc,
who was a physician of note. This
word bctrays the fact that your happi-
ness has some kind of unpleasant after
taste. What do you mean by this
yct?'"
"Nothing-nothing!" said Hagen.
"This won't do, continued Brose. 81
do not require confession; but an old
friend should not be cut off short in this
way. Where does itpinch?"
Northumberland cried Hagen,
half out of humor. "My happiness
would be complete, were not the mother
of my wifo-"
AHA! The mothcr-in-law" broke in
the doctor. you have always de-
scribcd her to me as most excellent
person.
"Shc is all that | consider her para
gon of a woman and mothcr."
"My dear Hagen, then do not UNI
dcrstand you"
MY wife is an angel. Every day !
learn TO esteem and love her more, "
continued Hagen. MY mothcr-in-law
is a very excellent woman; kind, com
plant, self-sacriicing. She does every
thing to please me, yet"
Again this mysterious YETI" broke
in the doctor. ''Pray, speak intelligi
bly,"
IL do speak intclligibly," said
Hagen. "Shc fosters and chcrishcs me
as her son and favoritc. Every morn
ing she prepares for me most delicious
coffee; at noon, she selects for me the
most delicious tidbits; in the evening,
she cuidlcs me like child; she spoil-
| mel"
"Wcll, that is not so terrible" said
Brosc, laughing.
but she never leaves It's alone to-
gcthcr" burst out Hagen, at last.
That j., indeed, unpleasant.
"Shc means it all right but il is very
painful for me" continued Hagen.
"Shc loves my wife distractcdly, be-
cause she is her only child, and this
rcconcilcs me to the conditions again
and again; but this love becomes un.
comfortable, since my wife can not sep
aratc from her mother, either. I re-
joccd like child in anticipation of our
wedding trip. | had to give il up, be-
cause my wife insisted that her mother
should accompany us.
You acted very prudently," said
Brosc, in his dry, earnest manner.
Eyes, | was defraudcd of my wedding
trip, and now | am being swindled out
of my honeymoon continued Hagen,
even more passionatcly. "My wife can
not part from her mother, nor the
mother from her child ! have often
the feeling as though | were not the
husband of my wife or master in my
own houser'
Edmund, this is bad state of af-
fairs" said the doctor, stroking his
beard with his right hand. you are
all of you suffering from too much, and,
] may add, perverted, affection. But
have an idea! How would it do to marry
your mothcr-in-law to somebody She
is not forty yet, is well preserved, a
handsome woman, and, to one who had
not seen her certificate of baptism, she
would appear thirty at the most"
Are YOU mad?" cried Hagen.
"WhyP"
''My wife is the only heir of her
mother, to whom the entire property
belongs. Should she marry again VIC
might perhaps be left with trifling in.
hcritance."
''You are right Let us not get her
married, then. But I would willingly
be of assistance to you in this crisis OF
| x,n,r callnxy m, rif al falioitv -
"You can't said Hagen. "Vist me
this evening frequently even
ing! My mothcr-in-law Is refined
cultured, amiablc lady. Entertain your
self with her. / am certain you vii
not pass the time unpleasantly. know
you like Rudcshcimcr. have an cx
cellcnt vintage of this brand. One
two, three bottles are at your service
every evening. Twill see that you have
the Very finest Havanas, and you will
have no other duty than that of enter
tanning my mother-in-law, so that my
wife and l can have an hour to our
selves. Are you agrccd?"
"Of courser' cried the doctor laugh
ing.
"And You will come this EVENING""
Certainly
"And the following evening, toop"
Every evening! 1t is no great sacri
fice.n
But you sre doing me a great fl
vor, F" SAID Hagen, while he graspcd his
friends hand and pressed II warmly
"You arc putting to flight the only clout
that TINS far has troubled my happi
ness"
II viii bring back the sunshine. Yo,
will be satisfied with me-" answered
the doctor.
But you must not bctray by singh
word the fact that have occasione,
your coming"
my dear Hagen, have you ever foun'
me so weak as to gossip more thar
vas goodp"