The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1886-02-27
OLD PUNKINHEAD.
He Relates His Experience at the st.
Nicholas Hotel.

He Relates His Experience at the St.
Nicholas Hotel.
IF you can get Old Punkinhead there
to tell you the bed story, you're in luck, "
said mine host, aside. "He's charac-
ter! His name S So-and-So, but we call
him Old Punkinhead because he's so set
in his ways. He never reads newspa-
per and doesn't believe in any of the
new-fangled notions of our day. Can't
you tell this young man that bed storye'
he asked, turning to the old 'un.
1t consumed half an hour and several
more pots before Old Punkinhead was
wound up to the spinning point. He
was thin almost to transparency, and he
had one of those economical faces, for
whatever his nose dropped his chin
caught. He had whisk-broom beard
that poked out in front as if it dared
ANYBODY to come near it.
"Tain't much ov story" he began.
''but it got me inter trouble. Now at
hum I've alters had a bed wat sooted
me. 1t wasn't much ov bed, ter be
sure, but my grandpop slep' inter it an
it's good enough fur me. l hain't proud
eff am han sum. 1t is one ov them
high-posted beds, an whin 1 gifts inter
it | hain't huv up ter the wall like some
body wus under it boostin' ov it.
s'Wall, one day l he'd ter 60 to taoun
on biziness, an ez 1 wus goin' ter be
ouat all night 1 takes my grip along,
with my night gownd an nightcap in
it. 1 went ter the circus. walked around
an seen the sights, he'd my fill ov pea
nuts, and about eleven o'clock,
sashays up to the hotel watts kept by
Mr.. St. Nickylason. Broadway street.
walks up ter the desk and SEE ter the fell
Ter behind the bar, SEE /, 4 want a
| ROOM
elbow highp' sez he.
9. I don't care seq 1; 'ennywhar be-
twixt yer an the roof
"He laffs an seq; 4 mean ther price.
Will ten dollars SCOT yer?'
81 tole him that didn't want ter buy
the house, an that 1 only KEN ter stay
one night. He sed he'd compromise on
two dollars, an 1 finally gev it ter him.
'"Want me ter keep them valley.
buls? sed he, pintin' ter my grip.
81 wusn't as green as that, and I TUX
it up with me. A niger showed me
up to Their attick, an to make long
story short, l got inside and locked my.
self in. Their wus bed in one end o
Their room, but it looked too purity tc
muss up, an 1 guess it wus only thai
fur show.
81 hunted through the other room
an thar found bed. 1t was funny
lookin' thing, an wus med ov tin witt
wooden sides. l didn't like Their look
ov it, but 1 wasn't goin' ter be green
so ondresses an jumps in. Their folk
at hum he'd tole me not ter blow thel
gas out, but ter turn it out, an when
gets in l looks for Their crank. l findi
it all right an gives it yank. Wha
happint? I was almost drownded
Somebody up stairs, l guess, pour
about million pals of water over me
an 1 yells an yells ontil Their hired maj
cunt in an yanks me out.
".Who throwed that water? SEE L
show me Their man wot throwed tina
water, an I'll pulverize him; will, b!
grasshoppers?'
Then he called me derned fool, ant
said it was bath-tub. Then 1 he'd tel
90 down by the kitchen stove and sta!
there all nj ght ter git dry. No NOR,
hotels fur me, an if I'd a caught OLE
St. Nickylas I'd mashed him: would
by chowder. IN 2. World.