The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-12-02
TIM JONES.

TIM JONES.
The Randolph Humorist Discusses the
Result of the Election, the Eastern
Field Trials and Other Matters.
Special Correspondence Of the Sentinel.
RANDOLPH COUNTY, Nov, 81
The election is over. and the smoke of
political strife has drifted away on the
balmy tranquil breeze. All are hap
py once more save the defeated can
didates, and they are only gloomy at
the thought of disappointing their
friends, and loosing the opportunity Of
officially serving the dear people for
their country's sake. All seems calm
and serene the baby has recovered
from being over dosed by candy at
the haud of the candidate and the dogs
are allowed access to the front yard
once more without fear of their going
into convultions by being over heated
barking at candidates.
Bill Arp visited this State just be-
fore the election, and says '' l like that
State and her people, the latch string
hangs on the out side and the dog is
tied in the back yard" That's true
enough, the dog is shut up in bee
gum behind the kitchen during can
didate time and the latch string hangs
on the out side, but we keep it tarred
till the election is over. Randolph
Democracy came bravely to the front,
Republicans were showed under, and
the third party has gained nothing,
though we are in the center of the
third party movement.
The Eastern field trials began at
High Point the 18th inst, all the bon,
ton sporLsmen were there with their Gel
ebrated dogs, these dogs are worth
from one hundred to one thousand
dollars each, there is about eighteen
hundred dollars in prizes given for the
best ones. I can't imagine what sort
of looking thing a thousand dollar
dog would be; if had him to buy 1
should want him to be as fast as a
mail train and big enough to kill a
polar bear; would make a saddle
horse of him and run him against
Maud S.
Some people say they are owned by
men who have more money than
brains, that may be true, for I have
seen men who 1 thought had more
money than brains, and hadn't more
than fifteen cents either. But then [
guess the less he has of both the hap
pier he is. If he has brain and no
money he will think the world looks
upon him with contempt because he is
smart and don't get rich. IF he is rich
he can't rest during the day for fear
| some one will beat him in a trade, he
cant sleep at night for fear robbers
| will break in and rob him. When he
goes to church he can can gain no
benefit from the sermon, because his
mind is thrown into state of per-
plexity trying to figure some plan by
which he can manage to force camel
through the eye of darning needle.
The thought of death is melancholy
one to him he fears some grave robber
will break into his vault and drag his
body around six months waiting for
his widow to bid a reward for its re-
turn. Hence, he must go without a
monument, or have it mounted on
wheels so as to roll around after his
body.
| CHOW CHOW.
A young man in this county ask
for the hand of a young lady-he got
her fathers foot Randolph has
more special delivery Post Offices than
any other county in the State, yet
there has never been letter specially
delivered in the county.-In read
ing over the names of the members OF
the next Legislature I'VE find that
Randolph has the only twonames that
are Worth Redding.-A bill has
been introduced in the Vermont
Legislature providing that person
imprisoned for crime committed while
intoxicated may recover from the
party selling him the liquor two dol
lars per day ior all time confined
| We have plenty of men who will lay
in the lock up all winter for one dol
lar per day and furnish their own
liquor. TIM JONES.
1t had been. reported that Ingram
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