Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1886-02-03
wrT AND HUafoR.


ne Seryians wanted railroad to the
'SFer Danube. % the first thing they
y Vas to capture the pass.
:ffe il utterly iinscrnpulous. writes
- Irish editor of ! political opponent;
md his memory IS so poor that he fre-
disently forgets one minute what he says
"a next.
"A New York detective has discovered
thnt itis all bosh that murdcrers can't
slEep. When You GET him on the sub
jekt of sleep detective is thoroughly ut
hanc Philadelphia Ncscs.
efonle here. Walter, and let me shave
vssa. too, said Uncle Alfred. who was
ioiIs0rially employed, to his five-year-
Oil nephew. mo" was the prompt re-
sp0nsc; s.my minister's amt ripe yet. -
nfiper's BasaQr.
How is this, doctor; you charge me
I've ffancs visite'' s.Ir is less than /
charge anybody else" ]" THAT may be
a.. but then, you forgot that it was /
Mlio introduced the smallpox into the
ntighborhood. ~ independence Beige.
The spectacle Of little man under
hat too big for him Is only ludicrous,
brit the sight of a young country like
Canada laboring under debt of nearly
800, ,000.00 is too serious to be ANUS
ifig. Toronto Can. ] Truth.
DO you think you could carve the
turkey. Mr.. ODynamite? said the land
lady to her new boarder. well, /
should blush to hesitate. Why, | was
one of the men who helped to blow mp
Hell Gate. IN. n Journal.
II have been unfortunate in love mat
tors" said u wcll-known bass singer at
the opera the other day. my first
sweetheart entered a convent, death
robbed me of the second. and the third
lis my wife. ''Paris Figaro.
Tailor Married or unmarried? Gus
TONER Married. Tailor Ito cutteI) -
One pocket concealed in lining of vest.
Customer -Ehp What? Tailor (explain-
ing) 10 hide your change. you know.
AZ night I'm married myself. = Chicago
Rambler.
DE Guy: '.Ah! Toggle, old boy, how
dor What are you doing now?" Toggle:
.1'm living on my father just at pres
|enf.f' ..You arcs thought your father
died long agog'' so he did. but / have
d now one e-Goyernment pap. - Ptild-
delphia Call.
Elijah say, Zeke, heah yo' brud-
q. .sarBiesis rich hnireSs; ana dat so2,,,
Zeke Yes; shes wuth bout fl mil-
lion.n Elijah (surprised) So much as
datp'' Zekc-"It's fl million or fl
hundred, dunno which, but ] know it's
'norinous mount"
"Do you allow drunken people on the
train?' asked an old gentleman at the
city hall elevated station. Sometimes
but not when they are too drunk" re-
piled the brakeman. just take seat
near the middle of the car and keep quiet
and you'll be all right. ~ I. Sun.
A little Eighth street girl in studying
her Sunday-school lesson came TO the
words: And the King OF Nineveh
covered himself with sackcloth and sat
in ashes This was puzzler. Finally
she said: Papa. what Kind of ashes is
satin ashes, that the king covered HIM
self with. - Troy Times.
Young Highcollar- -Beastly wcatllaw,
this, Miss Symphony. bah Jove! Miss
Symphony (tire6 ought not to
decry the weather. no matter how bad
it may be, Mr.. Highcollar. If it were
not for the weather you would be at a
loss for something to talk about. Now
take me to mamma Y. Times.
A Philadelphia man who had been
Tilted by widow practiced shooting al
her photograph until he got accustomed
to facing her, and then fired ut hei
through window, but without success.
Despite bis practice his hand shook
when the live widow got her eye on
him. No man with weak nerves should
90 cunning for widows. Macon (GG.)
I'eLegyaDk.
Customer Aren't You afraid to leave
all these clothes hanging out on the
sidewalk with nobody to watch thcml
1 should think YOU would be afrait
somebody would steal them. Dealer
..Shteal doze glothcss lIein Himulel
no! (ConfidentiallyD Wy, mein frienu.
dell you. | sells dozc CLOTHES SO sheat
that it doesn't bay to shteal them. -
SonscrUilte Journal.
An old farmer was in town saturday
and decided to take an oyster stew fol
dinner. as he had heard his neighbors
talk so much about them. He called a
Nix's restaurant and ordered his dish
He had told Nix twas his first stew, ane
when he had finished eating he was ask
ed how he liked il. The farmer replies
that he liked the soup very well. bu
wished he had left the pollywogs out =
Fort Gaines (Ga.) 4drertiser.
There is a man on our street afflicted
with a bad case Of the foot-and-moutl
disease. remarked Ebenezer Jones to :
young physician of his acquaintance
..ImpOssiblef' said the young doctor. .
never heard of human being takin,
that disease "But he has il, undoubi
edly.n "What are the svmptomse'
s.Why, he thinks he Is champion
npdegfrian. and tie i alw.lys talkim