Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-06-30
TRAINED

Although the relations between the United
States and Canada are strained, they don't
seem to be very clear.-Burlington Free
Press.
The labor question-an empty coal scuttle,
and husband and wife discussing as to which
shall go to the cellar and fill it.-Philadel
phia Herald.
A cheese factory is to be started at Carac-
cas-, South America. The natives will then
live no doubt on Caracas and cheese
Pittsburg Chronicle.
On the opening day of the Coney Island
Jockey club one of the races was for the
Foam stakes. We don't see why such mis-
leading and high-toned phraseology should
have been employed. Why didn't they call
it For the Beers?-Puck.
How inconsistent some men are! We have
heard a man express the gravest doubts of
everything relating to theology and revealed
religion, and then get up the next morning
and make hearty meal off boarding house
hash.-Boston Transcript.
A Willing Informant-First musician Gn
street car)-Yes, understand Jones has fin
ished his new opera. Have YOU seen the
score yeta Second musician-No, I haven't.
Fellow -passenger-Excuse rue, gentlemen,
but it was to 2 in favor of the New Yorks.
-Tidbits.
eyes" said he, sadly, ''Pve been an
active man in my day, but I broke down,
and the doctor has ordered entire relaxation
from all cares"
''And where have you settleds" asked his
friend, anxiously.
"Oh, I'm in business in Philadelphia. -
Washington Hatchet.
''What is an exposition, paa" queried a
Minneapolis child of his father, who was
reading about the coming glery of the -four
city. "An exposition, my child, remarked
| the fond parent, who had attended such
affairs in other cities, can exposition is a
place where machinery is shown at a large
expense to the stockholders. st. Paul
Globe.
Bones-"Mr. Rice, can you tell me why
deaf man is like Ireland's sending her
lower classes to American Interlocutor-
tWell, no. Robert, must say am unable
to inform you. Why is a deaf man like Ire
lands sending her lower classes to America?"
Bones-'' Because it's little hard of Erin"
Interlocutor-''T beautiful ballad, Where
has Mother Hid the Pier Rambler.
Little four-years old was in a state of ner-
vous excitement during a violent thunder
storm few days ago. Running to her
mother, she laid her head on her lap and
sobbed, ooh, mamma, Use SO fraid OF
responded, "You should not be afraid, my
child. Thunder is Gods voice" This
| soothed the child, and she went about her
play In few moments another tremen
dous thunderbolt was heard. She dropped
| her playthings, and in an awestruck voice
| inquired. 'sMamma, what did God say then?
| So1nefin' awful9'-Hartford Pest.
A 4-year old miss who has been in tie
| habit of making daily visit to her music
| teacher via the High street car line fond
herself on a recent morning minus the Gus
| tomary ticket or the necessary Scent fare.
| Nothing daunted, she stopped the car at the
| usual corner, took her seat and quietly
| awaited events. The rest of the story is
| best told in her own words:
| The conductor, he came and said "Ticket,
please" 81 haven't any this morning.
| s'Then I must have three cents.n "But
| haven't any money, either" f'Where are
| you goings" ooh, going to the 'Cademy
| of Music, and want to stop at Dorranee
| street" ''But did you think you could ride
without ticket or money!" ooh yes, cause
| 1 always pay when have any money"
| Her credit was good and she got there
| Providence Journal.