davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
HUMOROUS.

A signal triumph-The weather ser vice.
 After all, it is tho bad child that gets the palm.
 Felt slippcrs-Those applied to vicious youngsters.
 The rule of three-For the third per I son to clear out.
 We are waiting for Wiggins to pre- dict snow this winter. When man buys porous plaster ho generally sticks to his bargain.
 A turn-style-The fashion of wearing cuffs among impccunious dudes.
 A conductor can bc polite to the ladies and at the same time knock down the fare.
 The most indifferent person to tho price Of coal is the hired young lady of all work.
 Creditor-rvc bone to pick with you. Physician-Excuse me, my dis secting hour has passed. It is in pocket picking about tho same as in everything else. A man never succeeds until he gets his hand in.
 It is reported that there is skipper who has been so often across the Atlantic that he knows every wave by sight. It is reported that Wiggins learned to- be prophet by guessing what his wife would say when he came homo late ct night.
 A physiologist says that ''no mans body is as strong as his appetite" This explains why tramp can eat bigger pile of victuals in a day than he can saw wood. A new English dictionary is coming put with 24o, 900 words. People who are ever-bent on having the last word should subscribe at once.
 "rll make you dance," cried an irate mother, pursuing her son with slipper  in hand. ''Then," remarked the juven- ile. i've shall have bawl."
 Nothing is so pleasing as to have large man thump you in tho left lung to emphasize an argument. Tho founda- ton of many an everlasting hatred has been laid in that way.
 An independent old lady, speaking oi Adam naming all the animals, said she didn't think he deserved any credit for naming the pig-anyone would know what to call him.
 philosopher says: tsNo matter how good your wares arc tho moment you show yourself anxious to sell the other man is shy of buying" This is a fallacy. The man who advcrtises shows he ts anxious to sell and he ''walks of with the caken
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

There has been, it is stated, a great awakening among the Boers Dutch set tlcls) of Natal, South Africa. They have been so busy with prayer meetings that the worldly have complained that they have spoiled the annual races. The leader among the converts is a MT. Mel, who says he can count over two hundred in his sparsely settled district who have experienced change of heart. The work was a very quiet one, beginning without the agency of evangelistic meet lngs. These awakened showed grea anxiety for the heather kaffirs, ano many natives have been converted.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
The Men of '7G.

A visitor to the Continental camp at Cambridge relates dialogue which he heard between Captain and one of the privates under him.
 Bill" said the Captain, Ego bring a pail of water for the men,"
 'T shan't," said Bill. "It's your turn now, Captain; got it last time.''
 A story is told of a company of rihe- men raised in ono of the frontier coun- ties of Pennsylvania. So many volunteers applied as to embarrass the leader who was enlisting the company, and he drew on board with chalk the figure of q nose of the common size, placed the board at the distance of 150 yards, and then declared he would take only those who could hit the mark. Over sixty succeeded. -N. Nioholas.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

The Rev. A. l.. Hillman, of Atlanta, owns farm in Taliaferro County, Georgia, on which is big alum rock. He decided to dig we'll beside the rock in hopes o1 getting an alum spring. A shaft twelve feet deep was sunk, and then a niche was cut in the rock that water might col lect there. The hole, or we'll, or shaft has now developed remarkable curative powers. It has cured several persons who suffered from rheumatism, and al they did was to go down in the hole. MT Hillman thinks it is full of electricity others think the alum does the business Alum is so strong in the shaft that 1t tasted with every breath inhaled.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

taking it from her hands deposited it at the feet of a gentleman who was passing.
 She dared not look up, but in mo ment he was handing it toward her, say ing:
 "Is this your property, Miss Allen9"
 At the sound of the voice, so little changed that she would know it any where, the hot blood rushed to her face, and she had scarcely courage to reply:
 q think so. I never saw it beforc."
 She felt the keen eyes search her face, and there was touch of scorn in the question that followed.
 'Tt is an old letter addressed to you, and you never saw it befcres'
 She felt that she must vinlicate herself, and her answer came full and clear:
 q just found it in tho old sleigh. I do not know now long it has lain there."
 He glanced again at the letter; it must be the same one; he knew the date so well. The tone was almost eager now.
 "You never saw it before, Beth9 You did not receive it, my last letter, and leave it unanswereda"
 "Could you doubt me, Will9' She was looking him in the face now.
 'T might have known better, but you were always so punctual, and when l received no answer to my last letter, l was too proud to write and ask you the reason. thought you had given mo up for someone else in B.. Can you forgive me for my want of coni- dence2"
 But he needed not words for answer.
 When Mir. Allen came hurrying back tho sleigh had two occupants. It was some time before. they could explain affairs to his bewildered mind, but when light began to dawn he exclaimed:
 'It was that Jim; he's so careless Lost letter for me once." Will was persuaded to accompany them home, anl it was a very merry party that surprised Mrs. Allen by their early appearance.
 As soon as possible Mir. Allen hurried his wife off to the kitchen to unravcl the mystery, while Will and Elizabeth read and rc-read the old letter by the light of the hickory fire.
 What Ruth Miller would say was a source of much anxiety to Mrs. Allen, until one day Will remarked, much to her peace of mind, that Ruth had been engaged for some time to friend of his in the West-a gentleman she met some years before while visiting in the city.
 The house upon tho hill Will and 'Liza both call home, and the old yellow slcigh-well, as MT. Allen says, it's not every sleigh that can boast of a romance like that.--Portland Transcript
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
Took q Wrong Idea of 1t.

"1 don't see," observed Boggs, as he leaned back in his chair, ''how any man of sense can be led to cmbezzle $50, 900 or $1o0, 900 and skip the country. He is disgraced, his future ruined, and what good can the money do him9"
 ''You don't take the right view of it," replied Stebbins.
 "Why2"
 ''The idea, my dear sir, is to settle for half the sum stolen and return home to be looked upon as smart man and be elected president of rival institution. 1"
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
Locomotives in Jerusalem.

Locomotives now run into Jerusalem. The roar of the engines through the street that once echoed the Crusaders tread IS powerful historical antithesis. Not less striking is the contrast between the armorer's chamber, whence steppcd forth, armed cap-a-pie, the knight of the fourteenth century, and the erecting shops whence issues the mailed giant of the nineteenth. Under the medieval breast-plate the might of muscle; un- derneath the modern boiler plate the supremacy of mind; and both within a span of 500 years, that has at one end the tower of London and at the other the Baldwin locomotive works. Thcro is strange, vivid analogy between these two; so vastly dissimilar. Each is the epitome of an age, and each ago gro tesquely at variance in methods and re- suits, yet controlled by tho same human motives of dominance and conquest. But what the crusader conquered and could not keep, tho locomotive holds in peaceful possession-Lron Trade R. ieao.
 A bo4o1 io lpouo hv tho oon, ,opu it
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
A carpet merchant in Vienna has c,

A carpet merchant in Vienna has GU rious collection of ancient woolen and linen cloths, including more than three hundred specimens. Many of them have been taken from tombs and are stretched on folios of cardboard to preserve them. Some of the fragments are only foot square, but the larger ones make up an entire Roman toga, which is said to be the only one in the world. There are a great many embroidered dresses and a deal of knitting and crewel work. Double chain stitch seems to have been as familiar to the Egyptian seamstresses, sewing with bone needles, as it is to modern women. There are some very quaint and unusual designs in the old collection of cloths, but there are also some very common things. It is curious to find that the common blue check pat tern of our clusters and work house aprons was in general use among the Egyptians more than thousand years ago.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
If all the incidents of the Charleston

If all the incidents of the Charleston earthquake should be collected and printed they would make interesting reading. One of the latest published relates to young couple who were court. ing when the shock came. It extin. guished the lights, filled the air witf dust, and jammed the doors so that they would not open. The young mar rushed to a window leading to tho plaza, but in the dark plunged both hands into large plant urn full o1 water. Starting back to the young lady, he threw his arms around her, and said
 ''Darling, tidal ways is coming! It is already up to the windows! Let us die together!" in which position they were found soon afterward by the family.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

Governor Lee appeared recently before the city council of Richmond and asked an appropriation of $20,O00 toward the fund to erect a monument in honor of General Robert E. Lee. Three things, the Governor said, were necessary in or der to build the monument--the money, the design and the site. The New York Commercial Adre tiser adds: ''There is another thing also needed in New York before the Grant monument is erected little more energy on the part of tho com
 mittec and little less effort on the part of its secretary to keep up appearances. ,
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
l,ctVcpu the Lights.

Between the lights the soul has time to think, To view iu retrospect the vanished hours, To call again hope amarathine flowers, To stop beside the fount of life and drink. Between the lghts-no need of spoken
 words
 Our language is too poor when we are near . The Ideal Lile-when other tones we hear, Tones more divine than mortal ear hath
 heard.
 Love chants of purer joys and nobler heights, True music thrills the soul with deeper
 power, And life grows richer in the quiet hour, When we can pause and rest Letween the
 lights
 -Eua Gorton Tdylor,in Current.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
An 1mpracticabie Scheme.

A Canadian woman proposes to start society for the prevention of kis ing. It will never work Those women who don't like to be kissed arc generally never asked and therefore require no such society, and you might as well bale out the ocean with tailors thimblc as to try and prevent kissable young woman from enjoying that dclectable recreation. The scheme is simpracticablc.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
A Man With a Glass Eye.

"speaking of glass eyes," said an old lawyer, "brings to mind little incident that occurred in Chicago. Among our young professional men is one whose bril- liant black eyes would attract attention anywhere. He goes much into society and is quite favorite among the ladies be- cause of his eyes. One of these beau tiful black eyes is glass, but it seems so much the counterpart of the other that not one person in hundred would de- tect its artificiality. Among the mem- bers If his profession not one knows that the young man has only one good eye.
 "On one occasion he escorted young lady to the refreshment tables and enter taincd her with pleasant chat in way that he thought was making favorable impression. As they were taking ice cream he l:oked up as she gave utter ance to some startling exclamation, and was surprised to sec her eyes fixed on him with look of mystitied intentncss ullu uOITOT. DAc WuS WcAl-UIcu Slii, but something had so astounded her that she continued to look at him in way that raised the question of his sanity. A fly had lit square in the centre of his brilliant black glass eye and remained there, he, of course, unconscious of it's presence. The spectacle of that eye looking at her with q fly on it and the owner making no attempt to brush it oil was too much for his companion. His explanation, even, was not quite satis- factory. She had believed so implicitly in those magnificent dark eyes that she has since that time regarded him as some. thing of fraud. ."-Inter- Ocean.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
MO-. 2O.

"Around the world in eighty days" no longer is heard from the lips of the wile-awakc. It is, like the old "2. 40 on a plank road" phrase, out-datcd. "Around the world in sixty-nine days" is the true time
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

The New York Times asserts that the Pike County Pa.) bears are as abundant this season as they were forty years ago, and grow bigger and fatter. A few bears showed themselves in Tennessee last winter, on the line of the Cincinnati Southern Railway.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

Shine and Shade. Some walk in the sunshine ever, Some walk in the shade alway, 6cme arc witty, bright and clever, Some are sober, sad and gray. Some chase after smiles and laughter, Some seek only mournful tears, Some are young, their prime long after, Some get early 'into years" Some get all the sweets and treasure, Some get only care and grief, Some receive life's fullest measure, Some-a short, half-ripened sheaf. Thus it is in life's endeavor,
 Thus forever and for aye, Some live in the sunshine ever,
 Some live in the shade alway. Robert o. Fo,cier, m Detroit Free Press
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10
Connecticut Western News.
PUBLISHED AT CANAAN, llTCHFlELD CO, CONN.,, EVERY WEDNESDAY, MnRNINQ
\ C HUXLEY, Editor and HOprlGtOr. Local News a Speciality,
TERMS,

$2OO per year, if paid strictly in advance II not paid st the expiration of three months e. 26 will be charged.
 Subscribers desiring their papers discon- tinued must give notice at the EXPIRATION of sheir subscriptions, any previous notice not being sufficient; and unless all arrearages are. paid, papers will not then be discontinued ave at the option of the publisher.
Connecticut western news., 1886-11-10

A hotel is known by the company ii keeps.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
The Duty of Good Living.
The Cook.l

"The average Individual in this coun.
try lives better than the average individ'
sal elsewhere. says a New Yorker who
ives we'll "Take it in England. The
welLto-do man is great on chops. but the
poor man never has chops. They don't
have meat at the prices the poor man can
pay, for they keep out American cattle in
order to keep up the prices of English
beef. For myself, live generously, he
continued. ~ do not believe that man
can continue long under the strain of
complicated business affairs and do good
work unless he keep his physical system
in good working order. l am shy of
stimulants, but believe in taking, and
do take, plenty of the best food can
get 1 have a regard for regularity, but
do not believe a man should enslave him
self even to good habit.
"What do l eat? Well, pretty much
anything that is good l am a strong ad
yocate of mixed diet. and while am as
far as possible from being vegetarian. l
eat plenty of vegetables. Meat is as
necessary to me as any other food, for al
though in the torrid zones a man may get
along we'll without it, in this climate, at
least. he needs meat. Yet meat diet ex-
clusively would be as bad as an eXclu-
sively vegetable diet. Fruits. too, are an
important element of proper eating. The
various acids of the different fruits are all
valuable to the wonderful mechanism of
the human frame You may certainly
put me down as thorough believer in the
wisdom Of taking the best possible care of
the body Human life is worth compare
lively little unless it is spent under the
best attainable conditions
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
How Bret Harte Lost SO. coo.
[Cor. Philadelphia Timss.l


When Bret Harte came east in the first
flush of his California fame and New
York and Boston were bidding for his
work, Chicago undertook to waylay him
and secure the prize for herself To this
end dozen rich and prominent Chicago
ans arranged for an elaborate dinner,
with Harte as the principal guest The
dinner. in truth, was given on his &C
count, to induce him TO cast his lot in the
Garden City. As an insurer of their pur
nose they put under his plate an accepted
check for 80. 5000.
The hour came, and the company, with
one exception-the exception being the
chief guest The dinner was delayed,
the dishes cooled and the gentlemen
warmed with Impotence and vexatlon.
Still they thought that he would arrive at
the last moment or at least send some
word of explanation. 1t was nearly 10
o'clock when they sat down, having de
SPARED of his presence. To this day ne
has never offered any excuse for his stay
ing away. But the reason was, have
been told, that Mrs. Harte had not been
invited, at which she took grave offense,
communicating her temper to her hus-
band.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
Oaths of All Nations.
tTids Bits.

tTids Bits
The following summary of the forms
of oath in use in foreign legislative as
semblies is extracted from the reports
received at the British foreign Office in
New York:
Bavaria I swear SO help
me God and His holy gospel
Denmark promise and swear =
So help me "od and His holy word.
Greece swear in the name of the
holy and consubstantial and indivisible
trinity.
Hesse Darmstadt-I swear So
help me God
SAKE Coburg aud Baden-I swear. So
help me God.
HolIand-I swear So help me God
Portugal swear on the holy gospels.
Prussia swear by God. the Almighty
and omniscient So help me
God.
9axony-I swear by Almighty God
Servia-I swear by one God and with
all that is according to law most sacred
and IN this world dearest So
help me God in this and that other world
Spain-After swearing the deputy on
the gospel, the president says: Then
may God repay you, but, if you fail. may
he claim it from you.
Sweden and Norway president or
vice president only swear before God and
His holy gospel Z / will be faith
full to this oath as sure as God shall save
my body and soul.
Switzerland-In the presence of Al
mighty God / swear So help
me God
United States-I do solemnly swear
So help me God.
In Bavaria, non-C Christians omit the
reference to the gospel. In Holland and
the United States, affirmation is optional.
In Prussia and in Switzerland, afirma
ton is permitted to those who object on
religious grounds to the oath. In Austria,
q promise is in every case substituted fol-
an oath. In Belgium and Italy, the ad
duration is used without any theistic ref
erence, and in France and Roumania, the
German reichstag and for deputies in
Sweden and Norway, neither oath mol
affirmation is demanded.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
The Risdon
Iron & Locomotive Works,

Corner of Beale and Howard Streets,
SAN FRANCISCO.-...........-.,.. ...CA LIFoRNIA
w. II. TAYLOis...................... President
BUILDERS OF STEAM MACHINERY, IN
D all its branches; Steamboat, Steamship,
Land Engines and Boilers, High Pressure or
Compound.
STEAM VESS ELS, of all kinds. built complete
with Hulls of Wood, Iron or Composite.
ORDINARY ENGINES compounded when ad-
vsable.
STEAM LAUNCHES Barges and Steam Tugs
constructed with reference TO the trade in
which they to be employed. Speed, ton
mage and draft of water guaranteed.
SUGAR KILLS AND SUGAR-MAKING MA
CHINERY made after the most approved
plans. Also, all Boiler Iron Work connected
Herewith.
WATER PIPE, of Boiler or Sheet Iron, of any
size made in suitable lengths for connecting
together, or Sheets Rolled, Punched and
Packed for shipment, ready to be r1veted on
the ground.
HYDRAULIC RIVETING, Boiler Work and
Water Pipe made by this establishment,
Riveted by Hydraulic Riveting Machinery,
that quality of work being far superior 10
hand work.
SHIP WORK, ship and Steam Capstans, Steam
Wnches Air and Circulating Pumps, made
after the most approved plans.
SOLE AGENTS and manufacturers for the Pa
fic Coast of the Helne Safety Boiler.
PUMPS-Direct Acting Pumps, for Irrigation or
City Works purposes, built with the cele-
brated Davy Valve Motion, superior to any
other pump.
]. n. =. WILLIAMS Honolulu
Room No. 3, upstairs, Spreckels BLOCK.
agent for Hawaiian Islands
226Se30-ly
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20

Importers Of Foreign and Domestic Drygoods,
Hosiery, Ladies and Gents Furnishing Goods.
sole Proprietors and Manufacturers of the cele-
barted PATENT RIVETED CLOTHING.
479 ian26 81
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
TERNISsA.

Payable Inpariably in AdUance
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20

lWaIter Savage LANDLORD
Ternissa, you hedl
say not to the dead,
But TO the happy ones who rest below;
For, surely, surely, where
Your voice and graces are,
Nothing of death can any feel or know.
Girls who delight to dwell
Where grows most asphodel
Gather to their calm breasts each word you
speak;
The mild Persephone
Places you on her knee,
And your cool palm smoothes down stern
Pluto's cheek.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
DIR. NJ. GOTO,
Physician and Surgeon.

LeprOsy, syphilis and skin disease spec
iaIty Ofice. mauka of the residence of Hon Jas.
Kean, King street, Kapalsma, Honolulu once
hours, to p. N. sundays, TO II n. m. y. b.
Parties on the other Islands can consult by lei
ter. 26S oct2O'S6
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-02-20
IMPORTANT
Real Estate Sale
HONOLULU,
Hawaiian Islands.

DARTIES DESIRING a GOOD INVEST
lnent in the Hawaiian Islands will have a
rare opportunity i'm the purchase of the Rose
Ranch property. lately owned by Captain James
RIakee, on the Island of Maui.
This estate comprises over eleven thousand Oh,
900, acres of land held in fee simple, and about
ten thousand 100000 held under lie Sc to run
six years longer. The stock the estate COM
prises about 500 head Of wrli-bred cattle incud
ing 100 yoke working cattle and 300 mich cows
and 30 horses and mules
The buildings consist of u main dwelling house
guests cottages, office, billiard room, chapel
dairy and beef houses, store, overseer's house
servants quarters, etc, etc.
There are between three and four hundred thou
sand trees on the estate of varieties Of eucalyptus
acacia cypress, Pride of india, cedar and Gin
chona.
The ctsterns for water are u in number, the
argest capable of holding 10 900 barrels.
Steamers from Honolulu stop at the landing OF
the estate once week. The passage from Homo
lulu to the landing is made in II hours by steamer
Hundreds of citizens of California and the Eastern
States have experienced the hospitality of the late
Captain Makee, who will bear willing testimony to
the natural beauties of the estate and to the sa-
lubrity of the climate.
ALSO TO BE SOLD,
ing to the Makee estate, together with the furni-
ture belonging to the house.
he sale of the abOve-named properties will be
held in the city of Honolulu MARCH /, 1886.
For further particulars apply to
JOHN ID. SPRECKELS BROS,
san Francisco,
Ann ID
WAI. G. IRWIN & CO.,
All mari DIV Honolulu.