Savannah morning news., 1886-05-09
Idle excuse Tor milk punches.


But these pastoral places do not keep
late hours. There W as burning desire
in the liberated dariings to do something
mildly late at night. l really believe
some of the bellies ached to sing Il Won't
Go Home Till Morning. and get up a
shrlll alteration with the incidental po-
liceman.
Let them doughnut ever so wildly and
drink ever so deep of the frenzIed
sangaree IN the sunny matinee hours, the
night was not theirs. They felt that one
great privilege was debarred them. Oue
half the domain OF day was reserved ex-
clusively for the other fellows.
The lnalienable rlg ht to eatlate suppers
in their own way was not theirs. One
cruel and ineXorable conyentionalitl
barred the way to complete liberty; they
must have gentleman with them IN or
der to pass the portals OF Delmonico's or
the Brunswick. Man in his stubborn bar
barism provides no female cafes where
women alone can eat their deyiled oysters
and smoke their cigarettes afterwards
That privilege is reserved for man. Wo-
men may get together in their several
parlors or in their studies, but when it
comes to DePs at night-ha! ha!-they
have got to have man!
This is where the Dumfeeder arose. He
is respectable innocent, who lets him
self out to accompany ladies TO respecta-
bic public restaurants in the evening. He
charges from So to $40, according to the
size OF the woman party. He is scrup-
ulously clean, unexceptionally middle
aged, genteelly dressed and preposterous-
ly retlcent.
When bevy Of girls want TO have
modest toot at Demonlco's and do not
want TO he under obligations to an escort
or be forced into genteel monosyllables
by the presence OF man, they send for
the Dumfeeder. He puts on his dress
coat and accompanies them, looking not
unlike Baptist uncle Of theirs from the
country. II ne is well up in his business
he marches into the restaurant ahead of
ais charges with his spriug coat on his
arm, wearing the air of capitalist. He
orders the walters about, says damn SOtto
OCe and then asks pardon, and is generally
bumptious, but never pays the slightest
attention to what the ladies are saying.
They disregard him utterly. He is, of
course, the dummy, but he gets his share
of the meal.
The first Dumfeeder was q slightly de-
cayed widOwer who had failed. He was
recommended by the ladies OF one Of the
art associations, and his business grew SO
that he died OF over-eaJing some time a
year or two ago. Deafmen are preferred.
and later several middle-aged men went
into the business whose hearing was de-
fectiYe. In tact, the occupation has dur
ing the past winter grown into something
| like system, and one or twoof the small
restaurants, | understand, keep profess
sional dumieeders on hand for whom any
party Of ladies can make application by
card in advance.
OF course, now that the thing is pretty
we'll known among the men, there is a
good deal OF pique and curiosity. Moth.
ing can be more aggravating than to see
jolly lot Of girls having good time at
DelmOnic0's at night, utterly Independent
of every masculine consideration and de-
fying all the proper escorts with their
paid Dumieeder, VINO quietly puts his
spring Overcoat on when they get through,
takes his pay and leaves them respect
fully on the sidewalk. The beYy will
look around triumphant at the lonesome
young men who saunter in, and every
bright eye will flash with the assurance
that at last women can have their own
t0ot, and no thanks TO the providers.
To the honor OF the Dumteeder 50 far,
IL must be said that he mas not revealed
anything. He is as silent as the tomb
and all the girl secrets that drop into that
grave are supposed 70 perish there. lie
lives an euviabe luxurious life. sleeps
all day and eats all might. All that ~ re-
quired Oi him in this world - TO keep his
mouth shut when be lent feeding and %
carry a gold-headed caoe.
Every attempt 90 interview him has
failed % elicit word, and yet the report
ers know that he is the depository Of a
volume Of delicious nothings. He keeps
away from men AS rule, for the dlrec-