St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-03-29
THE TRAVELLERS CLUB,

1.-THE Travellers club will please come to
order" remarked n Jolly and fat knight Of
the road, as he raped on the table of a tenn
perance coffee house and removed his shining
beaver hat and placed it on the table directly
in front of him. Several men. standing about
him, took their seats and waited for further
developments.
"What kind of a racket is ftp exclaimed a
drummer from Kentucky. II don't want to
stand in the road OF any fun or TO spoil any
snap; but it strikes me that there is a mis-
deal somewhere when lot OF us travelling
men get together in temperance house TO
hold meeting. If some gentleman can give
me the latest quotations, so TO speak. on this
business he will confer a favor of yours
truly"
''As was about TO say" exclaimed the fat
man behind the center table as he rubbed his
moist and broad eXpanse of forehead with a
large red handkerchief. LAS was about TO
explain, when the gentleman from Kentucky
jumped in and tried to cut rates on me, the
Travellers club is intended to be kind OF a
social affair where The boys can drop IN while
Sundaying at St. Paul and get acquainted"
That's all right as far as II goes" inter
rupted the knight from Kentucky, "but
what's the temperance racket for? That's
what sticks in nv commercial craw.''
Just what was coming to-" replied the
fat m IN, ''but you wouldn't let me finish. A
few of us go TO talking about starting a club,
and we agreed to start it right of. We know
that the papers would notice II in some way,
and we just thought what a great thing il
would be for our old men If we could send
them a paper with an account of our meeting
at a temperance saloon. Do you begin to see
daylight, my Kentucky friend and fellow
criminal? That notice will boom us i'm the es-
timation of our respective and respected 'old
men and may in crease our salaries"
''0hl l an on" remarked the Kentucky
man with a knowing wink. bat you don't
mean to tell me that none of US will be per-
mitted to wet our swallo VS. during the meet
ingsY''
Perish the thoughtr' exclaimed the fat
man." do I understand your question to
include an invitation
-
THAT reminds me of little practical Joke. -
chimed in a Wisconsin drummer. At was
down in Milwaukee. This was years ago.
when was young in the business. struck
the town and tried to sell goods. Nobody
wanted to buy, and the more they declined
the more wanted to sell something. At night
L was pretty tired and darned near disguised.
Several travelling men were at the hotel and
they sized me up, and acted accordingly.
They were sitting around the office when I
came out from supper. 4 Boston man left
the crowd as / appeared, and, walking up to
me, introduced himself on the strength of
our being In the same business. He intro
duced me to the other fellows and soon we
were chatting and having a real good time
Pretty soon Bill Smith said something about
referring to disputed question about which
they were talking before was introduced.
NOW continued Bill. we have been
talking about the state individuality dis
played when one man asks another to walk in
and take drink. l hold that you can come
pretty near telling what state a man halls
from by the peculiar way in which he ex-
tends the invitation. In fact I was so sure
of it that bet the drinks that 1 could tell
the state of the next stranger TO whom was
introduced by hearing him extend an invita-
ton. No two men word the question In the
same way. Now. how would you ask usY'
"'Well, boys, come and ha something
with me- said, without thinking how it
would sound.
wen take whisky straight replied the
boys in a chorus, and marched me out TO
the bar. where. OF course, had to set 'em up.
SinCe Inen am Careful now please peO. IL
by asking them questions to show my state of
verdancy."
''That drinking business recalls an incident
in my life" remarked the Indiana travelling
man. lit had quite lasting effect on"
"order, gentlemen" said the fat presiding
officer. LET us get through our business and
then we win listen to stories-in fact, have a
regular experience meeting. An experience
meetingY Wouldn't that sound well in print
TO be read by our old men,"
''Well. look here. fatty Richards" exclaimed
the Indiana man, address ng the presiding Off
Ger. You can't choke me OF in that style.
not by any large majority. 1t is not polite 10
interrupt a man when he is telling a story,
and no man Of any spirit viii permit himself
TO be interrupted. I'm not going to have any
thing TO do with the darned old club if a fell
low can't talk once in a while out in meeting.
Now began TO relate a little experience and
as il refers 10 drinking and shows how was
cured OF taking certain kind OF drink. I
think that it will sound well In the printed
proceedings and am going TO tell Il. So here
goes:
"0nce upon time drank. I drank SO
hard and so often that looked like unto a