The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-01-11
Wit AND WISDOM.

Deacon White (yho is a property owner and
runs real estate agency)-"Good morning, Dea-
oG ne aeon Rlack-"Good morning, / thought. |
would drop in and ask you how you hked IN, me
new minister yesterday, Fine sermon, WASH u u
ID W-'tExcellent. Never neard pelter; NJ ~
is q very eloouent man, and is very happy III the
timely selection of his subjects. - .,,t;ao+s
D. -"Remarkably So sermons f Sm Ss HAN
that touch the sympathes are petteL t ~ uo Una"
ali the discussion Of points OF doctrine. t,on
III n w W'M@Certainly What could be happier IMAM
his subject bbto Iye aoy endery he spoke Of the
little ones. | declare it melted my hear' W neaA
MN 9snter a lady who has business with Deacon
WI d. W-aWell, ma'am, what can 10 lor
SGGa sady-"Have you got any houses to let9"
III am looking round to find good house
at reasonable rent" ,,-o,
D. W.-"Haye you any Children
D. W.NsThen can't let you have a house.
Don't want any children IN my houses.
Ministers, Lawyers, Teachers, ana others
whose occupation gives but little exercise, snouiu
use Carriers Little Liver Pills for torpid hVer anu
biliousness One is a dose.
Praise God more and blame neighbors less. Any
GOOSE can caele any fly can find out sore piace,
any briar can tear mans neSn be qulSyh az az
work and slow at talk, and above an, asS s .ne
geon.
Il think sold about two gross OF your Alilo
phoros the last year. For rheumatism 1t pas no
eaualn writes 0. P. Atwood, Plttheld, lMass-l
druggist. in commentator of the great rheuma-
tism and neuralgia cure and its healing merlts
The princess royal Of Denmark has new
Gown embroidered in beads of ten shades. WIN.
ant any disrespect to the lady it may be SAID that
snany squaw wears beads OF twice as l niaiiy
bues and does not consider herSe1 especlaiy
we'll dressed either. Americai is never III the rear
Suburban Belle-"How delightful it must De 10
spend Christmas in great country house-Hhe
Sutton Grange. for instance" ,o,, ..va.o
Rvstheeby Her Grace of Stiton has just written
to saw she expects me there for Christmas week.
Spose | shall have to 60. -,
S. B-"Won't you find it rather lonely?
ID. S.A"Lonely? A-Why? nj
S. B-"Because saw in to-days Morning IoSt
that the duke and family are not expected back
from Australia until Februaryp'-Punch
Colgan's Tafy Tolu prevents nausea.
Colgans Taffy Tolu strengthens the teeth and
mparts a healthy celor to the gums.
There are many forms of nervous debility IN
men that yield to the use Of Carriers Iron Plls
Those who are troubled with nervous Weakness
night sweats, SC, should Try them.
He who frets is never the one who mends. Ana
when the fretter is one who is beloved, whose
nearness OF relation to us makes his trettlng at
the weather seem almost like personal reproach
to us then the misery of il. becomes indeed lnSup-
portable Most men call fretting minor fauit-a
foible, and not vice.-H. IL.
A WEAK BACK, with weary aching lameness
over the hips, is a sign of diseased kidneys use
the best kidney curative known, which is Bur
dock Blood Bitters.
Confessions OF smoker.-Yes, it is terrible
bondage. 1t slavery. Yes, inhae the smoke
and then blow it out again. 1t is very SHY, isn't
ii? do the same thing with my breath Away
with this useless breath. Some breatbs are much
Dleasanter if far, far away. Why do smoke
cigars? Because / am the biggest and the cigar
can't help itself. 1t is an economical habit; the
smoke keeps themoths away. Then use toDaeco
to preserve human life Science tells me that
three drops of oil Of tobacco put on the tongue OF
rattlesnake or a dog viii kill either or DoIl OF
them in a minute l tremble to think now ihahy
times walked in the shadow Of death before l
began to carry q plug of tobacco with me. Now
when meet mad dog, am secure. ne may
bite me, but will kill him.. The cannpal VINO
eats me will dream that night that he got hoid Oh
the wrong prescription.