The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-01-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

How charmingly you sing, Miss Guseberry-"
"OH. YES indeed, never listen to you without
wishing you were where my cousin out IN Colora-
do could hear YOU
More cases of sick headache, biliousness, con-
stipation SC, can be cured in less time, with less
medicine, and for less money, by using Carters
Little Liver Pills, than by any other means.
Barry Sullivan the Irish tragedian, was playing
Richard i'll some years ago at Shrewsbury in
England When the actor came to the line, "a
horse horse, my kingdom for a horse" some
one in the pit called out an ass Ts 9o gSo
turning quickly on the interrupter; please come
round to the stage door"
II have sold and am selling Athlophoros In
several cases have recommended it for rheuma-
tism and have found it to be good thing" says
G. w Wells a druggist of Maynard, Mass. No
remedy can be recommended more conscientiously.
Are YOU a sailor?" asked Babster's bright boy
of Spook the other evening.
ssNo, my son. replied Sp0ok, "a Sea-tarlng HE
has no attractions for me-"
sfBut YOU are a SailOr,,' said BaDstef.
''No, my child, you are mistaken"
ssWell at any rate, mother said she had seen
YOU half seas over more'n hundred tmesN
Scott's Emulsion of Pure God Liver
Oil with Hypophosphites IN acute P'3-
naoaaYy Troubles. DIR. f. B. STRICKLAND, New
York. says: II find your Emulsion very beneficial
after all acute pulmonary attacks in adults, and
in children.
young lady, who had decided to favor the
company with some vocal selections, was sur
prised and amused to hear gallant old gentle
man remark that he was delighted to know she
would condescend, for at least that one evening,
hoo
Persons troubled with indigestion should use
Colgan's Taffy Tolu.
IA two-foot rule-keep your feet dry.
Backache is almost Immediately relieved by
wearing one of Carter's Smart Weed and Bella
donna Backache Plasters. Try one and be free
from pain. Price % cts.
sect my life insured2 No. sir; I'm not quite 50
selfish as that confess was temptea 70 40 ~ u
do the liberal thing and insure my wires lie IN
stead"
The Rev. Or. Mckinney. of Brooklyn,
N " is almost as earnest in behalf of the physi-
cal well being of the young men of his acquain-
lance as he is for their spiritual advancement; for
this eminent divine stoutly maintains that a
healthy soul cannot well exist in a diseased and
enfeebled body This Rev. gentleman is very
pronounced in his praise Of the Science of LIFE
as physiological teacher and guide toyoung men,
The work is extensively advertised, and the mag
ntude Of its sales surpasses that of any other ever
published
The Toronto (Kan) Topic says in a guarded
way "The gentle Kansas zephyrs are coming
down from the northwest at the rate of 40 miles
an hour, and we stop the press to say that the
fourth story of the Topic office is blown down."
BEWARE of FRAUDs.-Be sure you get the gem
uine DR.. Thomas Electric Oil. 1t cures Colds,
Group, Asthma, Deafness and rheumatism.
Guest-'sWaiter bring me some rice pudding"
Waiter-'Boss can't jess recommend de rice
pudding today"
Guest-''What's the matter with it?''
Water-"Nuffic cept dar amt none
cIoda,s Fnie,iraon Snices are double fine strength