Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1886-11-20
WOMAN NOT A THROWER.
She Is Not Built That Way, and No Oh
Wants Her Modified.
A girl viii sing, and girl will dance,
And q girl will work crochet.

A girl viii sing, and girl will dance,
And girl will work crochet;
But she can't throw a stone and nit a church,
Because she amt built that way.
Had Paris seen Helen attempt to shoe
a COW out of the back yard, it is slfe to
state that the Trojan war would never
have been waged, and Homer would have
been obliged to take the Haymarket riot
for an epic. Had Antony seen Cleopa-
ira chase a street-car down dusty avenue
of Cairo it is also safe to state that he
would have fled disenchanted back to Oc-
tavia, and the Divorce Court lawyer" de-
cree quietly secured no publicity would
never have made cent from him. Had
Dante seen Beatrice fire half-brick at the
vandal hen which prospected for seeds in
her flower bed every spring, it is again safe
to say he would have sent back her notes,
her white mouse penwiper, the lava smok-
ing set with Merry Christmas painted
across the stern, and discontinued that
rocky courtship which he subsequently
celebrated in poem called " The Inferno
In the three situations given above, the
average woman is grand, massive, Titanic,
incomprehensible. The man who wit
nesses the feminine moods from the
weather side of a high board fence and
does not stand with head barred hushed
and awestricken, has no poetry in his
soul. In all she is great, but in the
brick-throwing act she is greatest-and
most dangerous. There is physiolog-
ical reason for this. 1t is not her fault
that an ambulance wagon has to be rung
up after her brick throwing moods. nor
that this kind of exercise always creates
a furry and an upward tendency in the
window glass market. She cannot help
aiming at the hen and bringing down the
usually in0ffenSive citizen in the next ward
Her shoulders were not rightly constructed
for ball tossing, and in the hurry Incl
dent upon laying the citizen she frequently
forgets to consult her handbook on throw
ing, and makes the left hand do all the
labor instead of the right, as laid down by
the authorities Nor is she mentally CON
stituted for baseball pitcher Many hus-
bands who are not right-minded sneer
at their wives weakness of mental
grasp in not being able to distinguish
between a mutilated and iumped-on
umpire and a three-base hit. These
nice subtleties of the game may be thus lost
to her, but it is not her fault. Her gray
brain matter is not put up that way, archi
tecturally speaking, any more than her
shoulder is built to bring confusion and
death TO cows.
1t will be observed by all who take the
trouble to attend a baseball game, in the
interest OF science, that the best throwers
have very square shoulders, and the should
ers of some are higher at the corners than
at the neck. In these latter the clavicle
tends upward as it leaves the spinal
column, a circumstance which allows
free play of the arm in any direction.
Whereas, as seen in lady's skeleton the
shoulder-blad slopes down like toboggan
slide, and overlaps the arm-socket in a
manner which prevents her lifting her arm
without cracking her shoulder-blade or
bursting out a seam in her basque, either
of which is calculated to discourage good
craftsmanship Chicago Inter Ocean.