Smyrna times., 1886-09-15
Sharp, Short and Sunny,

Yoked garments still continue to be
fashionable and are much wOrn--by
oxen.
Some people don't approve of the
earthquake as a means of breaking up
the Solid South"
We must remember that We are
dwelling upon the surface of a little
eXtnguished sun.
Sunshine on mirrors will injure their
lustre, therefore do not hang opposite
door or window.
You have had your little play-day,
so now take hold of the realities of life
with lirmer grip.
The shortest life is long enough if it
leads to a better, and the longest is too
short if it does not.
When will takers refrain from evil
speaking? When listeners refrain from
evil hearing.-Hdre
A citizen of Newburgh is under ar
rest in Italy for avoiding conscription
some twenty years ago.
Conventions of one kind and another
will keep Saratoga lively until October
but it will not be fashionable liveli-
ness.
At performance of the Rag Baby"
given in Newburgh, last Saturday
mig hit, man laughed SO heartily that
he had fit
A few oyster shells mixed with the
coal used for furnace or large stove
will eilectually prevent the accumua-
tiOn of clinkers.
In the navy and in the press, disap-
pointment is expressed that one of the
new cruisers is not to be named for
Admiral Farragut.
Tewnty-ive years ago there was not
newspaper in Japan now there are
2OOO-a large majority of them using
the Roman characters.
Every nation has its customs" re-
marked an old lady, placidly, when in
formed that her sailor husband had
just been eaten by cannibals.
Seventeen halthy children have been
born to lady in Richmond, Mich, in
nineteen years, and yet people talk of
the degeneracy of the American peo-
pie.
The Anarchists think very little is
necessary to make a country peaceful
and happy. Only dynamite, murder
robbery and few simple things like
these.
The first lady in the land has created
so sweet an impression in the Adiron-
9 81 han 4
the other day having, taken her for a
rosebud.
A traveller recently returned from
Alaska tells Of a bear being killed by
mosquitoes. If nature knew her bust |
ness she would introduce bear that
would kill mosquitoes.
The largest barn in the world is
probably that of the Union Cattle Com |
pany, of Cheyenne, near Omaha. 1t
covers five acres, cost $125, 900, and ac-
commodities $3.50 head of cattle.
Hot alum is the best insect DESTROYER
known. Put it in hot water and let it
boil until all the alum is dissolved. |
Apply hot, with brush, and all creep
ing things are instantly destroyed.
a Frenchman who evidently got n
Waterbury watch with a suit Of clothes
and is devising means to run the time
piece, has calculated that a One-hOrse |
engine would run 100000 watches.
Appearances are very deceptive.
Jay Gould was met at Mount Desert a
lew days since by an old farmer who |
greeted him with the remark "Whv. |
you don't look as though you were
worth $1OO."
Inc dlscouraging news from the |
whaling fleets in the Artic Ocean. to |
the effect that the catches are verv |
small, have had the effect of ADVANCING |
the price of whalebOne TWENTY-FIVE /
cents pound, to 50.
If the wives and mothers who labor
from early morn till midnight. with lit
tie time in the twenty-four hours they /
can call their own, were to strike for
clSht hours day, what would become .
oil their lords and masters?
Alas how true it is that cirrum.
stances alter cases. Business men
who marry their Typewriter eirls or,
TOO often apt to lind that the vouny
women are not 50 ready to submit to |
d.r.alIon after the wedding.
If broom is hung up when out of
use It will last much longer than if al |
lowed to stand or lie about i'm corners
The same may be said of a white. wash !
brush--keep il from dampness and its
servlceable days will be extended.
Wonders will never cease. An Ohio
man claims to have invented a machine
that will continue to run without SION.
ping I'll 1t wears itself out. 1t is evi-
IDENTIFY an Infringement on the tongue
OF book agent or Mikado ballad
singer. @ <.E tAEL9f
Ed. p. Wells, Thetis p. o., Stevens
countys Wash Terr., was entirely
cured of rheumatism by the use of 81
Jacobs Oil. He says: 81 consider n
wonderful remedy and will always
speak good word for it.
Don't talk about errors in writing
An advertisement reads "Wanted-a
BOY to open oysters about - years old"
When an oyster becomes such n
veteran, its age shoHldb kept rgecrets
An oyster should be able to open itself
before it arrives at its 18th year.
A recent visitor to Piiris was much
struck with the fact TINT no house in
any street he went through was num-
oered thirteen. He says this Is owing
10 the superstition of the French peo.
PIE concerning the number thirteen