Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-02

The Experience of Young Man Sent TO
Buy a Pair of 0arters.
clara Eels in Cincinnati Enquirer.

clara BeJLs in Cincinnati Enquirer.
shopping is essentially a feminine art, ana
the women ought 10 attend 10 it themselves
got friend INTO an awful lot Of trouble re
Gently by giving HIM commission coming
home from the theatre | became aware oil
something wrong where | couldn't convent
emily get at it. A part of my standing rigging
had worked loose. and a stocking was slipping
down into lot of miserable, uncomfortaole
folds about my ankle. OF course had lost
garter. NV companion noticed my preoccu
pied air and lnquIYel the cause, and when
told him he iokIngiy inquired II ne was eX-
nccted TO make good all Losses incurred Whiie
| WAS under his protection. As II Woulu DC
lnconVenieut TO 90 out IN the morning. 1 dC,
cepted his suggestion and told him he could
get me a pair on his way down town ana senu
them up by messenger. The poor man
was Wis blv agtated but he wouldn't Dsck
out and rather ruefully accepted the commls-
sion. He had terrible time The next day'
He thought he would step into Mays nrst'
but when he got there his courage began 10
ooze out. The lace was full of women, ana
&c thought they were just waiting for hun 10
come in and ask for carriers Every woman
who passed him looked at him as though she
knew what he was after and was silently
laughing at him. So he workbench ana kept
on down town, Finally he sneaSed around
corner when he thought nobody was LOOKING;
and furtively lodged into the door OF a sma
store that seemed to be nice, quiet pace
and to present possibilities OF gartcr5, ludglng
by the works OF art displayed in the window
He stepped up to the coun er nearest the door
and told the saleswOman what he wanted IN
way that indicated great haste. l believe
he added that he wanted to catch a train.
I'VE don't keep gents furnishings" she re-
piled.
Then he SAID he wanted them for lady,
and she rejoined in her regular CASHMERE
voice:
Next to the last counter on the other side
for ladies' garters."
Hn u tbt.O n ~ store.
all The clerks were young women. but ne
braced up and started for the other end OF the
apartment. which look ii ike the per- pectlve
OF prairie railroad. 1t seemed 10 him that
ne never would reach the vanishing polnt,
with all those girls looking at him. He tried
to walk firmly. and of course tramped Ike
horse. Then he essayed the easy. unConcerned
glide. scuffed along like school boy ana
caught q splinter in the sole of his boot that
caused him t. stumble and lose both his BAL
ance and his self-command. He tried to get
his bearings from the litoGraphs on the walls
plcturing all SORTS of feminine harness in ac-
tive service. As the Autographs began to grow
more interesting he concluded that he was
about in the lati ute of gar ers and pulled
up at a counter, his face red and his eyes
blurred, and asked the girl for carriers, eX
pecting her to hand them over forthwith and
put an end to the trouble. Poor little lnno-
cent! The young woman smiled coldly and
said
"What kind, pleasen'
''Oh, the best YOU have" he replied, pain
But what style do yOu want?' she re-
joined, evidently enjoying his plight. He
didn't know, a. / hadn't given him any spe-
cihcations, and probably 1T never before oc-
Cured to him that there could be more Than
one kind. 1t was useless for him to attempt
to escape. All the CLERKS were watching him,
or seemed to be. So he asked what style was
generally ed, and the clerk proceeded to
exhibit and exp ain the various ST. les. She
showed him suspend carriers attached to
waist belt, dress reform garters, carriers that
hitch on to the side of the corset, carriers of
every imaginable kind, and when he seemed
dazed by her descriptions she took down lith-
ographs and infinitely pointed out the way of
wearing patent stncking harnesses. He was
bewildered and helpless, and gazed at her APP
peatngly Tor hep. At last ne stammered:
what kind do you-" but was checked by
an icy "Sir!" Then an Inspiration of genius,
h rn of despair, came to him, and he bturted
out:
What kind would you be most likely to
lose of in the stTeeJ"'
He made his escaDe with pair of old-fash-
Toned circular elastics, which no woman who
cares to preserve the natural curve ana shape
OF her limbs will wear, and sent them up by
MESSENGER. with note begging to be ex-
cused from future shopping errands. Those
instruments of torture are In my museum as
mementOes of m asCuiine iucapacity to master
the lntriCacieS of q Woman's behaving tackle.