davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
Forests W orth More Than Gold

The eyes of the Northern mill men
are turning eagerly to the com para
lively virgin forests of the South,
and heavy sales of timbered land
and constantly being announced. II
the ravenous saw must be fed, and
no better and cheaper building ma
terial than wood can be devised,
then the people of the South should
not dispose OF their heritage for a
mere pittance OF its actual value.
These huge tracts of yellow pine can
be converted into yellow gold. and
should not be sacrificed as worth
less possession. We should make
the most of our opportunities, and
not yield too readily to the pressure
of greenbacks. These huge areas of
undisturbed trees are daily ephanc-
ing in value and importance as the
supply in the North and West di-
minishes. 1t is idle to talk of the
"inexcusable" forests of the South,
when Mr.. Little of Montreal, an au-
thority on the subject, estimates that
the saving capacity of the North is
sufficient to consume the merchant.
able pine of this State in less than a
year The South possesses mines of
wealth in her noble forests, and
they shonld not be disposed of care
lessly ., and without full apprecia-
tion of their true and real value.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
To Crafty His Wife.
A Good Reason for H.pu,u....


''tcr msny years l had suffered from a CON-
paint which the physicians call Gravel. / had
employed some Of the most no,ed doctors withou,
obtaining any permanent relief, and for long
time my case was regar led as hopeless. All who
knew the circumstances I'D / must die. finally
my vile induced me to try bottle OF Dr. Ken
nedy's FAvorIte Remedy. which she had some
where heard Of OF seen advertis d. Without the
slightest faith in it, but solely to crafty her,
bought bottle Of a druggist in cur village.
used that and two or three bottles more. and-to
make long story short-I am now as healthy
man as there Is 10 the country.
Since thea l have recommended 'Favorte
Remedy 10 others whom knew to have suffered
from Kidney and Liver complaints: and assure
the puolic that the 'FayOrite Remedy has done
It's work with similar completeness in every
single instance, and l trust sumo other sick and
discouraged mortal may hear Of il and try the
'Fdyorite hemedy, as / did Washington Non
roe, CafskM n Y
Don't Let a Foolish Prejudice against
popular medicin-s stand between you and the
health ii your wife, child or baby 1t is always
right 60 advertise blessing Dr. Kennedy's .Fa-
vOrite Remedy. Is blessing. IL ha saved thous-
ands an n will help you. Ii you are sick from
troubles o the Kidneys, Bowels. Liver and Blood,
spend ne Dsiiar for this King oi Medicines.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
A Kansas farmer.editor tells about

A Kansas farmer.editor tells about
a good arrangement for plenty of
clean water in a hog lot, on an up
land farm, where water is usually
scarce, thus: Stand barrel of wa
ter in square box or pan three
inches deep. A small hole bored in
the barrel near the bottom hoop will
let the water into the box only as
fast as the hogs drink ou' of the four
corners of the pox. When the hogs
stop drinking the water stops run
ming. The hogs can't make the wa
ter unclean, and can; vast it. Of
course. it is understood that both
barrel and box must be water tight.
The application Of the principle can
be enlarged for the cattle or reduced
for the poultry yard.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

1t is a good plan to milk cows
regularly in the same order, taking
the same one first, and winding up
with the came one every time. Reg
nlarity of hour in commencing the
milking of the herd is an advantage
in securing the best results, since
animals as well as men are greatly
the creatures of haiit, and when the
time comes around the COW will de-
sire to be MIXED, all the functions
of her system will concur in this de-
sire.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
A Question m Natural History.

''Pa, does the sausage come out Of
his hole on Candlemas day and
look around for its shadow, so as to
make an early spring. Ma says it
does"
"What are you talking about ?"
says the papa to the little boy. 1T
is the ground hog that comes out of
its bole. not the sausage"
well, amt sausage ground hog
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
CHEsrNUrs SET TO RHYME.

Oh. what made the chimney sweep?
And why did the Goldfish ball
And why. oh why. did the peanut stand2
And what makes the evening call
Oh. why Should the baby farm?
And why does the mutton chop?
Can you tell me what makes the elder blow
Or what makes the ginger pop2
Say, why does the trundle-bed spring?
And why does the saddle horse fly?
Or what mean cur made the pillow slip?
And why do the soap boilers lye?
What made the monkey wrench?
Or why should the old mill dam?
And who did the shoemaker strike?
Or why did the raspberry jam?
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
Mr.. James Long, in his lecture

Mr.. James Long, in his lecture
not long since at the Institute Of
Agriculture, in London, in speaking
of dairy cattle, said ''the Shorthorns
were highly recommended as one of
the most. if not the most, valuable
cows for a milk seller or butter max
er, more especially if his dairy oe
carried on in connection with grain
growing or beef making. There are
numerous instances of extraordinary
butter making by Shorthorn cattle,
and there is perhaps, no race in
Great Britain which has done such
great things, so far as regards yield
of milk, as this race.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
Mistaken Identity.

Information has just been received
in Dublin Of a most extraordinary
case of mistaken identity. About
three weeks ago the body OF a respec-
tahly dressed man was found in the
Liffey at Usber's Island, Dublin. An
inquest was held, and a verdict OF
found drowned returned. On the
following day lady, Mrs. Leddy,
of Cootehil, county Cavan, identified
the remains as those of her brother,
Mr.. John Mcdonnell, magistrate,
of Crosmaglen county Armagh, who
bad been staying with her, and who
mJsteriously disappeared about a
fortnight ago. Mr.. Jordan. OF Rath-
car Road, and Mrs. Anne Banton, a
nurse, also positively identified the
body, and the Coroner. after holding
a post mOrtem inquiry, directed that
the remains should be given over to
the relatives, who positively identi
fed the mans clothes, though there
was some doubt as TO the boots and
stockings. The body was inferred
in Glasnevin Cemetery as the re-
mains of Mr.. Mcdonnell, and large
number of friends were present at
the obseouies. The relatives of the
supposed deceased have in the last
day or two written to the police au
thorities IN Dublin who had charge
of the case stating that the gentle
man who was supposed to be duly
inferred in Glasnevin has turned
uD" alive and well, Notwithstanding
his premature burial. His sister,
Mrs Leddy, has also made an appli-
cation for a refund Of the expenses
incurred By the funeral Of the stran-
ger. but was informed that there was
no fund available for such a purpose.
No clue has yet been found to the
identification Of the unknown gen.
tlemen who was so deeply mourned
and respectfully inferred.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
A Dispute Between Drummers.
One drummer held in his hand an
i =. A L. a.

One drummer held in his hand an
unlighted cigar Another drummer
asked that the cigar be given him.
Il will,n was the reply, If you
will first tell me correctly what is To
become of it.
"All right. | predict that you will
not give 1t to me.
"Now see how stupid you are. If
| should give it to you your predlc-
ton would be false. And, your pre-
diction being false, according to our
agreement | keep the cigar
But, stay there, replied the 9TH
er; IF you keep the cigar my pre-
diction is true and the cigar must be
mine. My prediction cannot be
proven false unless you give me the
cigar"
"You have lots of gall to think
you can get something for nothing" F"
You have lots of nerve to stand
up here and refuse to carry out your
agreement.
You are liar. !"
"You'r another"
"You-n
Il"
Here" cried the brakeman, mo
fighting here. What is the row
about p
The case was duly stated TO the
brakeman. That individual scratch
ed ms head, wiped the SCOT and per-
spiraiion from his lip with his glow
ed hand. and after great deiberatlon
exclaimed:
Give me cigar.
The cigar was handed to him
This Is very Interesting case,
he said. at reminds me OF the syl-
ogisms OF Zeno, which We used to
study at the round house on the
problem of cause and effect illustrat-
ed by the example of two double
header freight trains trying to pass
each other on the same track, or the
similar but more abstract problem
OF W hat Is the result when an irre-
sistible force comes in contact with
an immovable body. But, gentle
men, as old Aristotle used 10 say
oh, have you got a knife abou. your
clothes p
Drummer No. produced knife
and with it the brakeman cut of the
end of the cigar.
AS Aristotle used to say, that is
a reductio ad absurdum-a two-and-
two-mak kes-fve-case. But as Plato
observed in his work on color blind
ness and bolted frogs, the impossible
is possible only with the possible,
and-by the way, have you got a
match about your clothes ?"
Drummer No. / produced a
match.
"And now" continued the brake
man, addressing No. 1, "vou prom
ised to give this cigar to No. 2 if he
would correctly guess what would
become of it ?''
Yes"
"Well. he guessed that you would
not give it to him, and, as you have
not given it TO him, according to
your promise. the cigar no longer re
mains yours"
Yes
"But if he should give the cigar to
you then your guess would be
false one, and, according to the con-
tract, the cigar would not be yours"
"Yes."
Now, you see, gentlemen, that
the cigar belongs to neither of you.
| think [puif, puffl-I think it is
[puff, puff a good cigar. Good day,
gentlemen. and if you have any
more syllogisms TO quarrel over
please let the stakes be house and
lot or diamond ring, and I'll be
glad to settle the dispute for you"
And as the two drummers looked
at each other out of the corners OF
their eyes the brakeman walked
proudly away. exclaiming:
"Smartvillel The next stop is
Smartville !"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

Young Man (after long interval
of silence)-A penny for your
thoughts, Miss Clara. Miss Clara
(suppressing yawn)-I was won-
dering if that clock isn't slow. 1t
seems TO ne that church let out four
hours ago. and now las only mid
night. The young man left without
parting with his penny, and in con-
siderable haste.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

At Mcpherson. Kan, the other
day biscuits were made from -four
ground from wheat that was stand
ing in the field ninety minutes be-
fore.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

A correspondent of the st.
Republican asked for the longestw
in the English language. Then
have been large number OF answers
some of them quite amusing. Here
is list OF the words. with the num-
Der OF letters in each:
Letters.
PailOprogenitiveness .............-..... %
Incomprehensibleness %
proportionaDleness.. .. ...... .......2f
Honorifcibilitudinity ...---......... .......-.22
Velocipedestrisnistical 2s
ransubstantionableness .-...... %
Observation-Disclosures ..........2 70
Only the first three words are to
be found in the last edition OF Web
sser's dictionary and disproportion-
ableness IS undoubtedly the longest
word in that volume. The CORES
pondent who originated honorlffci-
oIlltudlnity defines it as honorable
ness, but it certainly has not honor
ableness enough to entille it to a
nest in the unabridged. Yelocidedes-
trianistical likewise lacks age and
respeetability, but it may mud its
way into Webster in time; it Ger
tainly mas good locomotive powers.
Suticonstitutionalist Is doubtful, and
we do not believe even a mandamu5
would get it into dictionary Tran
observation-disclosures might get there
If Webster wasn't looking. The
man who invented proantitiansub-
stantiatlonist says 1t Is a good Eng
lish word, derived from a short and
Latin root, and means one who dis
sents from the doctrine of dogma of
the so called Real Prese nee. That
may all be, but he ought to be con-
demned to pronounce the word twice
a day as long as ne lives, if he tries
TO introduce it into the speech of
honest men.
But speaking of long words, what
is the matter with Llaniairpwilgwy-
ugy ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS by llgoger-
bw wllzanttossiliogogogoch, the name
of a village in Wales ?
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

A Philadelphia lady says that If
you will trim your finger nails every
Friday you will never have the
toothache. She has praeticed it for
over twenty years, aud it has never
failed.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

If you wish to be happy as king
look at those who haven't as much
as you, and not at those who have
more.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

A cyclone resembles a Western
man, because il il some on a blow.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

Man was born in an Eden, and be
has been s needin' creature ever since.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

In Paris last year, there were SO,-
260 births and 1875 deaths.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
,ct7 em. HENRY HOFFMAN.
PRICE $1 90.
.Tx-r.

TOR SAlE-STEAN ENGINES, CLAY
Il and OH PANS. bOILEhS ard SHEET
IRON WORK Secsnd- hand Engines and Boil
hand Hosting Engirss and Nachins ~ q
speciality. 1aONAS CARl-IN,
dec3olyr. Allegheny, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

Whit nm ~ pTtfcRIs glrsn suor SEND us 5
flill lllll eii, postage and by mail YOU will
wv iVUUSe free apacKage of goods Of large
s..-. Nlur hat viii start YOU in work
~ ~ q once hiring you in money faster than
csc ? america All al, ~ tire 500 90
~. s.f ai'h nart BIZ. Agents wsnied every
Z iler sex, Of al gges. tor all the time,
,.ias ohiY. % agrk Tor us 4 their own
~ i.uunss ipT al workers ahsoiu civ as
~. O'A l Delay Il. RALLET Il Co, Portiand,
lan23
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

] PRITTS,
NJ, somerset, Pa.
-,l-s In Mammoth Block
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
THE DEVIL HORSE.

The body ola devil horse is all Of
the same size, and he looks not un-
like green walking-stick set up on
twelve other walking-sticks, six on
a side. The scientific men who have
sought to classify the fauna of Texas
have somehow overlooked the devil
horse, but be doesn't seem to mind
the slight and continues catching
flies with monotonous persistency
| was never been bitten by devil
horse, and | never met anyone who
had been, but the natives class them
among the poisonous, and they
ought to know.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

~0B. sCJLl4,
+" 4TTOEEEY-AT-LAW,
y Somerset, Pa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
THE VINEGAROAN.

The vinegaroan has never been
classified, and is con-
tent to plod through life undistin-
guished, save by his humble frontier
patronymic. The Mexicans and In
dians, who have been acquainted
With the vinegaroan longer than /
have, solemnly assert that his bite is
1eadly. | have always taken their
word for it, The vinegaroan lives
under decaying logs, and, if disturb
ed, scorn TO run. | saw a fight once
between a vinegaroan and taran-
lula. The tarantula was lifted out
of the pit dead in one minute
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

u ) \. MILLER has perma-
ls.,g ipeated 10 Berlin for the practice Of
:. -. 'iQn-Otaee opposite Charles Krissing-
apr. -, 'To-tf
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20
TARANTULAs.

The tarantula is an exaggerated
spider, with teeth and hair. they
are always ready for fight and will
tackle anything, not excluding a
buzz-saw. In days gone by | have
often amused myself by teasing one
with a red-hot coal. At first they
would fight shy, but after they once
got mad they would attack that coal
and never surrender until they were
burned to a crisp. never heard OF
any one eating q tarantula. Ii one
bites you use the same remedies as
prescribed for centipede sting, only
more so.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

sTIURNEY ALLAN NJ.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-01-20

ayR. SCOTT, nav
Somerse.. Pa.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-12-02
PReeREzs On FaR CALIFORNIA AVN
0gRG0A.


The first train 10 the new terminus
MeCloud. az the siding about two
miles south Of Slssons, came up las
Saturday evening, which cuts ofl
about ten miles of staging over q
very rough road. The road fr0n
DansmulF 10 McCloud was built In 1
hurry, so as 10 have Il ready for run
ming trains before the winter storm,
commenced; hence Il Is NOT 10 Is
good order for making fast time Al
Il will be when overhauled and made
straighter. Some Of the curves are
very short. These viii be straighten.
ed, together with other changes, so
that trains can be run al q speed Of
fifteen miles az hour over 3 zigzag
course along the big eanyoa At the
head of the Sacramento River, which
Is about as fast time as can b6 accom-.
plished.
The locating survey has been com.
pleted 20 Edson's and should the pre-
sent clear weather continue q few
weeks longer the track may be finish
ed 10 that point for the winter termi.
aus. with probability Of the work
continuing right along through the
entire winter, to make connection
next summer with the0regon branch,
as it Is generally believed that the
California company Is likely to Sc
cure possession or control Of the
Oregon line Ia q very short time.
The end Of railroad track has been
laid 10 the Deitz place, to which point
about $500 Chinese graders have
been moved, who are now busily en-
gagged In grading the road toward
Butteyille.
The surveyors are now at the old
C. 5. Moore ranch, north of Kings
Salt Works. locating the route for
building, with expectation Of cross
ing Shasta River. at what is known
a. the old sheep dip, where the stream
has high sides, rock bluffs on each
side, near the mouth Of Little Shasta
River, this being . deviation from
their former route, Intended TO cross
the river above the salt works. IL
our citizens can secure the road near
or TO YrekA, the Shasta River cross
ing would probably be made above
or below Schlicht's mill.
The railroad forces, after reaching
Butseyille. expect TO be able to lay
track at the rate Of two miles q day
In portions Of Shasta, provided the
weather keeps a. pleasant rs ct pres
ent
The latest from the railroad front
Is thai the end Of track will be laid
u the steam saw mil by this evening
aRd that q large force Of graders will
be moved to this side of Butieville
this week. Slsson & Crocker's sup
ply train Is At Keyser's, and viii
soon be laid TO Bntteville, twenty-five
miles south Of Yreka.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-12-02

TEE HUNaAmAS PREMIER.-A
writer in Temple Bar describes Tisza,
the Hungarian statesman, who has
been Premier OF hat section Of the
Austrian Empire for more than ten
years as follows HE looks like an
old Jewish clothes man. Hooked
nose, specialized. with STOPPING shout
ders, unkempt beard and long, gray
hair trailing over the collar Of shah
BY coat. be Is no imposing parsonage.
He wears the shahbiest d hats and
smokes cheap cigars 81 day long
He Is q man Of few words. Disdain-
ful Of little c0urtesies, be aeveF tries
10 ingratiate himself. aud does not
seem 70 care whom be odends by bis
hrnsqueness. He Is not 3 fine orator
aOr 3 great financler, nor a bold party
manager, yea be Is The most pop ulaT
man IN Hungary and the most re.
spected HIS administration IS mas.
teriy."
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-12-02


A. ameE1eRm a@sp ksRfAnm 90 naanaza
1sfma. mnA sAmna IL she aasaffss
D. ths arrival e. - 80 TYnN -
haNs fnli saxsieaiaaa e tie iann e. ~
Americas ahfp BesEe1szs.
This Aae ahip waa al her gay fEum
Han Psaso IN eanazaana 81 CapgaEn afh-
sans b0and fsE Desarinrs Bay - sosl.
On Mondsy East. iaSaina she vessel "a
BE b tha NiHknfsy ~ Case Fsnttsxv.
hanle4 - for ska lad. Iha weazher
0ei1a aAiak. nsed ed pzasmmfsnma, mma
Ak1at {. m. Rn& Euunanes ID thsranen
fst10Has q waEzF. Let 10 both amahera
and wA9H tAs ship ewnma % thea, her
stern waa elnas - the bxeakeKs. The
mats 1nd boats araw we're fnnes7i-
asety sans - Meah BAY for assssfanpn.
be8woa1 % ard lD.30 .. n. ship naxuak
af1, these being q hsAEy awell q. The
Gapt4in nd ehs xeat q tbs aFew lefs IS
ship and pnlsnd for Nah Bay. ne
nzae boas arrived % 80 a n. Inendnv,
tne GapsAin's boaa arriving a Haah Bay
s. a m The Mfs- eaginR baae ae ne
lndin1 village was iaunahed and manned
~ ne Mhlpss eSew and, fsaa4haF wish
oaa % TIE aAipRa beats, al hAnda pulled
aRaln fer tie ship. Net fhe tue Tyee.
and By Fsqseat % DApeain aihnan. she
steamed - the wreck. Arrived nIana-
SIDE fha wEeak 81 10 O. N. and seeaFsd
81 m6vahts articles. leaving ths wrsek
at Q. M Atl4o reanrnad % tie wroek.
unahaeklsd. and eat ake chains 20 10th
anchors, E4n q hawsaf 90 the ship from
the tnR and saeamed ahsad. vessel
hnEanQ ainanR lisa 20 HtaKboaed, ennsed
BY the wAteR ID her washing tie aand
0aliase % alaFboaKd. Ass. e.. passed
Iatosah Island. The ruddsF hAvin4
been bToksa on TIE roeks, the vessel
wouia not steer. Al dayliahf the mate
Of The Iyes and sonas Of the crew % the
ahip went on board 10 tEE and Steer heR.
Found tbs ship was making mueh water
and listing over very mnnh. stood IN
for The beach, bat at Sis q. N. she sank,
Oh Lyle river, in "a fafkoms of uaaeg.
See ia q total loss eothinR but tanQai-
iaut masts are shove water. she ID 10
tha track Of shipping. Bought all
hands TO Port Townsend. sac vas
owned By CAAxlss Nelaon and insured
fax $l1io00-
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-12-02

A MusIoAE TRaAT.--EvoEyh0ay who
resided In the larger towns on Puget
Sound eleven years ago viii remember
with pleasure the tour made By she Mo.
Qibsny Famiiy az fhat time, giving
concerts az Olympia, seattle and other
places. Frank, tbs oldest boy, who then
we're knee pantss IL nov q married man,
and The little three year cid child, she
favortte Of oil audiences, who sang
"I'm q little drummer girl. brave and
true; IL Dy brothers 90 10 the var, IN
90 too" Is now Q charming yong lady
and "a accomplished vocalist. THIS
evening the family, Numbering fifteen
souls. will again appear before q seattle
audience after tour East. West, NORTH
aud South covering period Of eleven
years. they have sung before large al.
dlences In all tha er "a cities " the
Union, and the press has universally
spoken IN the warmest pFaias Of she
musical ability and talent Of this won-
deRful family. Those Who attend she
concert ~ the Opera House tonight will
no doube be highly entertained.