The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-07-28
Pith and Point.

WALLINGFoRD merchant recently
burned book that had $4,000 worth of bad
accounts on its pages.
BARNwELL and Aiken counties, North
Carolina expect to ship 100000 melons to
New York this season
IT is now said that Gilbert & Sulivan's
new opera, which is about half written, has
nothing Egyptian in it.
ONE factory in New Jersey keeps two hum
dred men in steady employment the year
round making Roman candles.
PRETTY nearly everybody is on a strike
now-a-days-trying to hit the pestiferous fly
and missing him nine times out OF posi-
BILE ten.
A pARBER in Auburn has opened a law
yer's Office in his shop. Different way of
shaving customer-thats all.-SL Atbons
Messenger.
THE proportion of young men to young
women in Saratoga this season is said to be
about one to five. In some resorts tits about
one to fifteen.
Mr.. PyE is manager of Bible publish
ing house in st. Louis. 1t is easy now to
trace the origin of the expression GOOD as
Pye."-lSdn Francisco Examiner
ALL signs of ripe watermelons fail at this
season. They have a seductive external
beauty, but a diabolical disappointment
within.-Augustd (Gd.) Chronicle.
A MAILBAG opened in the post-office at
4
contain a copperhead snake enclosed in a
bag. The dangerous reptile was promptly
killed.
A CAPE MAY young woman has got into
the newspapers by the simple method of let
ting one of her lttle-fnger nails grow to an
unusual length and having it tipped with a
gold rim.
DoUBTFUL-LooKING guest: " Landlord,
have you fre-escape in this hotel?' Ex-
perienced landlord: Yes, sir; but we gen.
orally keep the bulldog chained at the bot
tom of it"-Mercbdn TrdCeler.
IT is familiar, and yet it strikes one as a
marvellous fact that worlds may have been
for years in existence the light of which
has not yet had time to reach our earth, and
that we may continue to see the light of
stars that have been for long time extinct.
YES, Guiteau's curse is working havoc
among his enemies. Corkhill is dead, and
so are several others that he cursed There
is no doubt that before one hundred years
have passed every man whom Guiteau hated
will have come to an untimely end.-Detroit
Free Press.
JUDGE to prisoner): "Have you some
thing to add for your defence?" Prisoner:
eyes, Judge; desire to have the new trial
applied to me-" Judge: II don't under
stand you" Prisoner: ~ ask to be ex-
PEELED from the country. L am an Orleans
prince. "-French Fun.
FARMER UNDERWOOD of Bodman, n. Y,
took fine calf into Watertown in his wagon
to sell to the butchers. just as he reached
whistled shrilly. The calf gave start,
tumbled, and dropped dead in the wagon,
apparently dying of fright.
A BLACK cloud emptied itself in the
"piney woods - of Laurens county, Georgia
on space not exceeding half an acre and
miles from any pond or creek and with the
water We're deposited over fifty soft-shell
turtles and striped-head terrapins, nearly all
as large as the bottom of peck measure
THE very sweetest and richest orange is
the black or rusty-coated fruit. Pick out
the dingiest oranges in the box and you will
get the best. Another way to choose oranges
is by weight. The heaviest are the best, be
cause they have the thinnest skin and more
weight of juice Thick-skin oranges are apt
to be dry.
A LITTLE city maiden on visit to hel
| uncle's farm saw threshing-machine il
operation for the first time. " Oh mammal!
cried she, rushing into the house, all out o
breath, there's something out in Uncl,
Joe's barn with two horses in it, and the.
keep going and going and never get any
here."-Harper'S Bazar
AN old lady from an inland village wa
entertained upon city visit by niece will
artistic taste. "Now, aunt" said the niece
81 will show you some pictures. They arr
all after the old masters" "Dear me, sal,
the old lady, thinking to smooth over al
apology. 700 Dau. But neNe
mind, they'll do just as well as new ones.
A SMALL girl of Boston, in a composition
describing different nationalities wrote
Chinaman-color, yellow; habits, eats rat
and smokes opium; occupation, washin
and ironing. Negro-color, black; habits
likes liver; occupation, beats carpets Amer
can-color, white; habits, eats beans an
fishballs Sunday mornings; occupation
builds churches and school-houses."
THERE is trouble when the Lady of Lyon
| is played in real life. An English butte
went to America and, calling himself Hor
Seymour Conway, won an aristocratic bride
When he brought his wife to his buttery il
England, and prepared to settle down t
domestic life, the bride was terribly cha
grined and has taken the modern reveng
of instituting proceedings of divorce.
IT is printed in the Freeman of Kingsto
that Josiah Krom of Mettacahonts, Ulste
county, New York, has cat This cat, slee
and comfortable, was languidly eating its dir
ner, when mouse, apparently born and bre
in a church, so lean was it, timidly sneake
to the dish and also ate. The cheek of tn
mouse so disconnected the cat that it di
nothing but stare at the little fellow, wh'
having got his fill, went in peace.
A MASSACHUSETTS newspaper tells the oil
story of Isaiah Thomas, who used to max
almanacs. When he was preparing the on
for 1880 one of his boys asked him what
should put opposite the 4" 18th of July
MT. luOllldS, DtlnB t1lSdSti, ItIlltu, All
thing anything" The boy thus ordere
returned to the Office and set Rain, Ina
and snow" The country was all amaz
ment when the day arrived, for it actual
rained hailed and showed violently.
The garden of Albert Smith in Soul
Sodus, n. Y, has been a well-behaved an
well-cultivated patch for nearly sixty year
Two weeks ago an area of thirty-eig
square feet rose three inches above the nc
NAL surface in a single night, and two inch
more during the day. The next morning
seven inches above the surroundii
land. This yeast-like process has been goil
ON, until now the spot is three feet high
than the rest of the garden, and still risin
a Cornell professor is going to visit {
eccentric garden and explain the pl
nomenon.
THE literature of the late campaign
Great Britain is rich in smile. Some
Lord Randolph Churchill's gems of EXPIRE
sion we have already reproduced. b
neither Lord Randolph nor Lord Randolph
party had a copyright of such verbage.
deed, Lord Randolph himself was describ
as "a mackerel penning facetious not'
but finding no sympathy with his wit amo
his depressed colleagues" Lord HartiI
ton was mentioned as g q gorged python
minantly chewing his thnmb-nail," and
Goschen figured as 81 an Egyptian skeletC
Tapping his damp wings with rave
croak and VOLTS death-rattle."
TIMES being rather hard we are going
take our wife to the home of our mother