davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press., 1886-01-25

Clipped from Canada Presbyterian, under sig
nature of C. Blackett Robinson, Propr: was
cured Of oft-recurring bilious headaches by Bur
dock Blood Bitters.
The Portland daily press., 1886-01-25
AGENTS WANTED.

ErNTS wANTED-To sell the best sell
a inc household articles yet invented large
profits and sure to sell For particulars address
r. M. COMMON lewiston Maine. Zz-u
The Portland daily press., 1886-01-25
FOR SALE.

A GENTS Agents; money in it; an stdiSl
j. G. BAkDWELL, Paxton, Mass. 224
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
HEALTH HINTS.

Every one should keep a bottle ready
of equal parts strong lime water and
sweet oil we'll shaken together to use on
burns and scalds, or for chapped hands,
Essence of peppermint painted on a
burn causes the pain to cease at once.
To exercise in WEAKNESS, increased by
every step, is not only not beneficial, is is
useless and worse than useless; it is posi-
lively destructive.
Bathe a sprain with arnica diluted
with water, and bandage with soft
flannel moistened with the same. A
sprained wrist thus treated will grow well
and strong in few days.
Every one has cure for sore throat,
but simple remedies appear to be most
effertual. Salt and water is used by
many as gargle, but little alum and
honey dissolved in sage tea is better. An
application of cloths wrung out of hot
water and applied to the neck, changing
as often as they begin to COOL has the
most potency for removing Inflammation
of anything we have ever tried, 1t
should be kept up for number Of hours ;
during the evening is usually the most
convenient time for applying this remedy.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

last night, and that's what hurts me now.
Everybody went to the theatre and left
me home In charge, and at 8 o'clock |
went to bed. ! was tired and went to
bed for purely business purposes, and not
to answer door bells or keep house and
in few minutes | was sound asleep.
After while thought heard the break
fast bell. rolled over to take another
nap. You see it struck me that the break
fast was little early, and | proposed 10
let 'em wait. Ting-a-ling went the bell
again it Kept venting until discovered
that il was the door bell wasn't going
to be fooled that way though, and |
thought could stay in bed longer than
anybody would stay at the front door, so
| didn't pay much attention to it. It.
kept ringing, however, and after half an
hours hard work to 60 TO sleep again, |
got UP and poked down through the
dark TO see what the dickens was the
row. When got the door open, one of
those United States postal messengers
was there, grinning at me, with special
stamp letter, and | had to chase around
over the house. hunting for ink and pen
to sign for it. got that part attended
to after barking my shins in half dozen
places and falling over all the rocking
chairs on the ground floor, and then
went up to my room to see who the mis-
chief had such important business with
me as to send me a letter at that hour
of the night, and the light revealed a
letter to my girl from that fourteen
times-a-week-dude, and all the good |
got out of it was an hours anxiety and a
whole nights sleep completely wrecked.
That's what's the matter with me now,
and that's what makes me feel that Cleve.
lands administration is a delusion, and
civil reform is snare as big as hay
NOW. You said malaria a while ago.
Well, give me malaria and I'll give you
the special mail delivery and two dollars
to boot"
Mr.. E. picked up the morning paper
and refused to be comforted. Merchant
ITdgeler.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
THE GRAY DAY.

Evermore all the days are long, and thi
cherries skies are gray,
Restlessly wander the battling winds that
scatter the binding spray.
And the drifting currents come and go like
serpents across my way.
YEARLY fades the evening dim, drearily wears
the night,
The ghostly mists and the hurrying clouds
and the breakers crest of white
Have blotted the stars from the desolate skies
have curtained them frem my sight.
Speeding alone, my wave-tossed bark eneoun-
ters no passing sail.
Welcoming friend nor challenging foe an
swers my eager hail
Only the sobbing, unquiet waves and the
winds unceasing wall,
Hopefully still my sails are bent, my pilot is
faultlessly true.
He holds my course as though the seas and
the mirrored skies were blue,
And the port of peace, where the winds are
still, were evermore in view.
For over the spray and the rain and the
clouds shines the eternal sun;
The unchanging stars in the curtained dome
still gleam when the day is done;
And the mists will be kissed from the laugh
ing skies when the port of rest is won
robert j. BuFdette, Ia Brooklyn Eagle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
An Ancient Custom Still in Vogue,

Lately, in accordance with an ancient
custom, the cloth annually sent to the
great officers of state and others by the
corporation of London was inspected and
selected at Guildhall Iondon) prior to
the meeting of the court of aldermen.
Four and half yards of the best black
cloth were forwarded to the lord chancel.
lor, the lord chief justice, the master of
the rolls, the lord chamberlain, the vice
chamberlain, the lord steward, the
treasurer and controller of the household,
the home secretary, the foreign secretary,
the attorney general, the solicitor gen.
eral, the recorder and the common
sergeant, while six yards of black cloth
and six of green were sent to the town
clerk and four of each to the principal
clerk in the town clerks Office. In the
early periods of history the retainers OF
great lords and wearing their liveries
were so numerous as to be dangerous
both to the sovereign and to the preser
vation of order. Many statutes of 1877
to 1904 were passed for the purpose of
compelling them to keep the peace, an
exception being introduced in the pro.
hibition in the favor of guilds and fraterni.
ties and men of the mysteries of cities
and bor0ughs.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
A Signer's Joke.

President Harrison's great great grand
father, who was one of the regicides of
Charles l. was convicted of high treason.
Pepys, in his diary, October 13, 1860,
refers in this comforting way to his execu-
ton: 81 went out to Charing Cross to see
Major General Harrison hanged, drawn
and quartered, which was done there, and
he looked as cheerful asany man could do
in that condition"
Exactly lie years after this event. Ben
jamin Harrison, the father of President
Harrison and the great grandson of the
good man who departed this life in such
gentlemanlike manner, according to
Pepys, had just signed the Declaration of
Independence in Philadelphia. His
weight was nearly 800 pounds, while that
of Elbridge Gerry, who sat beside him, was
hardly more than that of the late Alex
ander H. Stephens GERRY, said Harri-
son, "you'd better not sign that paper
There's been some hanging in my family,
and we are somewhat used to it. More
over will have another advantage over
you, 1t will be over with me in a minute.
This ponderosity will crack my neck,
while you'll be kicking and squirming
about in the air long after I'm gone" But
Gerry signed the paper even while he and
Harrison roared with laughter. Ben:
| Perley P0Oqe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
The Wild COssacks.

The Cossack dress, the long coat and
the hat and knife are so well known in
England, from drawings in the illus
trated papers, that no description is
needed. 1t is workmanlike dress un-
doubtedly, but not what an English cav
airy officer would call "smart." The
horses, too, are more like rough cobs
than horses, but they are said never to
tire, and, in fact, they do look stout, use
full beasts. Our officers and men may
well take a lesson from them. They are
as Russian officer said, thoroughly
mobile" The Cossack has no tent and
his horse no covering, even in the depths
of winter when on service, while our
horses are not prepared to stand out
without three heavy felts, nor are the
men prepared to go on service without a
servant and pony to every two of them
and tents to cover them. In short, the
Cossack is well-armed, mounted rife
man and scout, and one can well imagine
what yeoman's service cloud of such
horse in the front Of any army would
perform. It has bs toe mach the aim
of on" native cavaNy officers to turn
their men into Dragons, and though
they would in the open undoubtedly be
better mounted and heavier than the
Cossacks, one cannot help feeling that
the others have on their side many ad
vantages. Ours are more for show, and
theirs more for use A cavalry man
would answer by asking to see the hos
pital rolls after six weeks campaign in
winter, and no doubt that is to us, where
men and animals cost money, a powerful
retort, for we know how the Russians suf
| fered in the Balkans from sickness. With
all that, we have lesson to learn from
the Cossack, and it would be we'll if Of
ficers would think it over, and remember
that we cannot always be at peace, and
that our next war might carry us further
than one hundred and fifty miles from
our Indian frontier.
One of our officers, at any rate, will
remember the Cossacks as long as he
lives. He accompanied an officer out
! side the mess tent to look for something
when the latter introduced him as a
brother officer of cavalry, and he, in re-
sponse, drank the health of the Cossacks.
Before he well knew what had happened
he was picked up by twenty strong arms
and played ball with to chorus accom-
paniment am not sure that he was
not embraced before they put him down.
This seems to be Cossack custom. and
once year their own officers get
"tossed, and it is the greatest honor
they can pay you. But think what
would happen, and how splashed they
might be, if they let fall twenty-stone
old colonel that they did not like
London Times
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
Don't Like the Special Delivery

The old gentleman walked into the
office Tuesday morning, and he was not
looking like man who had much to live
for.
"Ah, good morning, Mr.. Elderberry,"
greeted the bookkeeper, ''you don't ap-
pear happy this morning"
"Nor am l." replied Mr.. f.
"What is the difficulty, malaria?"
Malaria, the deuce !" interposed Mr.. E.
"Of course not. It's that new-fangled
postage stamp"
The bookkeeper looked at Mr.. E. with
grave suspicion.
81 can't understand, he said, chow
that should make you look so perfectly
broken up"
"You haven't grown daughter or
two, have you9" asked Mr.! L.
Again the bookkeeper's face wore a
look of suspicion.
'No, sir; Ican't say that have," he
admitted.
"Then you don't know anything about
it,"
MAY ask you to explain ~
"Certainly you may, and hope when
your daughters grow-up there won't be
any special postage stamps. You see,
my girls got beau somewhere out West,
and he's been in the habit of writing to
her fourteen or fifteen times week A
two-cent stamp answered the purpose
very well, until the new tencent style
came in, and since that date believe
that young man has used all his salary in
stamps, and my girl has wasted hall
gallon of ink and worn out peck OF steel
pens in sigaing for The blamed specials.
II didn't bother me much, though, till
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Tery taking" in its way-Smallpox.-
H0t Springs Negs.
Shear nonsense-trying to cut the hair
of a bald headed man.-Bar6erS' Gazette.
According to the Darwinian theory our
ancestors were all tail-beareIs.-Hargord
Times.
The calcium light is ofttimes the bright
est part of theatrical entertainments
California Ma0erick.
There is one thing to be said in favor
of coasters. They don't want the earth.
--Bmlington Free Press.
A turnpike tender down South became
enamored of young woman who often
passed over his road, but he never tOlled
his love. Boston Bulletin.
Burdette says: II hold it to be a SOL
emn, self-evdent, heaven-bOrn truth that
man who will play chess for amusement
would saw a cord of wood for joke"
The bicycle rider usually falls forward,
when he falls, and stands on his head.
The skater falls backward, and doesn't
stand on anything. This allows the
amateur sport to choose the sport of
bumping.-PicoYune.
A correspondent wants to know if it is
proper to urge young lady to sing at an
evening gathering after she has refused
once. 1t is proper to urge little, but not
too much, lest she should change her
mind. -PiHSburg Chronicle.
Mrs. Lille Blake raises her voice to
inquire: ''Who owns the babyl" From
what we have seen of that interesting
creature, we have no hesitation in re-
plying that the baby owns itself, and the
entire household in the bargain. Boston
Transcript.
A free translation of the heraldic
motto which secretary Manning rented
for his recent dinner party, is said to be !:
"The eagle does not catch flies" Of
course not. The American eagle is bald
headed. The flies catch him.-Butdto
+ Express.
Well, how do you like him! Come, old man,
Better the bargain elsewhere, if you can,
He's young, and as spry as goat.
81 Think said the farmer, while looking
askance
At the horse, and then at the owner a
glance
HE is old enough to vote"
--,Judde,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

A man in Copiah county, Mississippi
came out of his cotton field one day at
noon and turned his plow-mule In the
yard and threw her a bundle of fodder,
and then entered the house to eat his own
dinner. A NANCY, half-starved calf that
was grazing in the yard wandered over
to the mule and fodder and began eating.
The mule backed her ears and heels and
kicked the calf so severely that it fell to
the ground and died
The children called to their father
ooh, papa Old Bets done killed
Billy"
The father Immediately seized his gun
and rushed out into the yard, and, seeing
what the mule had done, in his rage dis
charged both barrels of the gun at the
mule, killing her almost instantly. A
neighbor passing along about that time
inquired:
Jones, don't you think it mighty poor
business to kill $100-mule all about a
$2-calfr'
Hundred dollar mule! Thunder, it's
not "A money matter with me. 1t is the
principle of the thing. .'--DetroH Free
Press
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

My health got run down, l failed in
trade and | thought l would go to farm
ing. / bought me piece of land in
Aroostook, built myself cabin and set
to work clearing it. This was forty
years ago. 1t was in the fall. l didn't
have time to build much of house, so
] just clapped shingles over the cracks
1t was rather cold for us--my wife and
me. We didn't sleep very comfortable
nights. A friend told us to get an air.
tight stove, put big chunk of wood in
when we went to bed, and the Goals
would keep us warm all night and warm
the cabin. These round sheet-iron air.
tight stoves had just come into fashion
then. got me one and set her up. A
short time before I turned in, put in u
heavy chunk of beach wood that | sawed
right off log. We turned in early and
began to talk over our prospects in our
new life
"What grand thing that air-tight
stove is for us, Mary Ellen" says Is
"Yes," says she, 'but amt it get
ting little too hot for comfortF
told her | didn't know but it was,
and so turned down one quilt. Before
we got to sleep we had to turn down an
other quilt. 1t was cold night but
that new air-tight seemed to heat up tre-
mendously.
81 never saw such heater, jerry
says Mary Ellen.
"Neither did l." says I.
In the night woke up and it was so
warm that turned down another quilt
and left nothing but sheet over us.
Well, in the morning l got up and went
to the stove to stir up the Goals and put
on some more wood Goals Bless ye,
there wasn't spark in the stove! That
big chunk wasn't even charred. There
hadn't been enough fire in that stove,
all night, to tech off my pipe with. The
beech log was to soggy to warm us up,
but that new air-tight stove and our i'm
agination did the business just as well.-
Old Settler, IN Leoiston Journal.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
ISLAND POND, VERMONT. FEBRUARY 26. 1886.

stances. To think that | should chance
TO fall asleep and absent myself--unac.
countably- naturally led on to doubts.
Beside, l deserve some punishment for
returning to rob you of something more
precious than money"
''It was not the money, boy, alto.
gether. 1t was betrayed confidence that
panied and enraged me. Things did
look kinder black, now, didn't theyl'
Indeed, father, your suspicious hit
right home about the legged rats"
"Shut up, you saucy baggage. You
sly one, you | saw you hugging Will
awhile sgoT'
Will caught her as she was retreating,
and holding her hand, spoke up like a
man.
'If l dared to hope for your approval,
Mr. Alcot, to mak her my wife! My
pstantis aoSgs-z za6ass5-scientfic value, but
have secured rights as an inventor, and
am already negotiating for profitable
privileges from large bottling establish.
ment for its use; hence l can make an
independent beginning and offer your
daughter homen
Mr.. Alcot embraced his child with pa.
thetic emotion, saying, II suppose |
must submit The young will mate, as
the parents did before them; but Bill
my son'--he clasped the young mans
hand. "You must share my home, for
cannot be left alone, now that the tricks
of boyhood are cropping out in the old
man"
"You dear, good, best of fathers, do
you think would leave youI" "murmured
Hattie.
"You see, children, l need some one to
look after 'two-legged rats" Mr.. Alcot
interpolated with penitent humor, look
ing into Wills eyes, there seeking and
receiving pardon for the unjust suspi-
cions in connection with that registered
letter,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
Occnpatidfi Conc,

Broker (to friend)-"You remember
tnat very bright young fellow who used
to shine my bootsF
Friend Ghinking a moment) t)-"Yes;
smart boy that"
Broker (dubiously)-"A little too
smart. He's run off with old R---'s
daughter"
Friend with n whistle)--"The young
rogue! So nothing but an heiress would
suit him?n
Broker (refectively)-"Well, he's got
plenty of money and has married into O
fine family, but fear it's terrible mes
alliance. 4"
Friend (chuckling)-"Ah, I suppose
you're afraid he won't shine in society,"
--Jtdge.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
The Ambulance.

This is modern invention of French
origin. In ancient times the wounded
were left to die on the battlefield, but
war now has the ameiorating influence
of surgery. There are two kinds in use.
The heavy ambulance is left with the bag
gage, while the light one moves over the
battlefield in order to convey the wounded
to the rear. Each ambulance is sattended
by seven surgeons, and the largest are
drawn by four horses. A surgeon on
horseback guides the others to some place
where a field hospital is established. A
yellow flag is then displayed, which pro-
tects the spot from the fire of the enemy.
Baron Larrey who reached distinction in
surgery during Napoleon's war, organz ed
the ambulance system with a great per-
fection, and 1t is now in use all over the
civilized world. Rochester Chronicle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
Definitions of the Day.

A taking title-Pick-pocket.
A dead imitation-Catalepsy.
Within an ace of 1.-THE king.
Slaves of the weed-Gardeners
Always on ice--The polar-bear.
Come to stay--Your poor relations.
Badly stumped--The legless veteran.
Out on the fly-The escaped convict
Poetical Justice--Killing the bad
poets.
Old rounders--The hands of the clock.
A German count--Eins, zwei, drei,
etc.
A pair of nippers-A cyclone and a
blizzard. Puck.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
4 Thrifty Swain.

A remarkable case has been before the
courts at Chatham New Brunswick. A
young gentleman who, after many months
of industrious courting, was ousted from
the young lady's affections by a more
enterprising rival, brought suit to recover
the following:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
The Influence of the Weather.

The plumber walks along the street
With a detected air,
The saddest man of all you meet,
When days are mild and fair.
The plumber walks along the street,
His eyes with joy aglow,
The happiest man of all you meet
When the merc'ry's ten below
Boston Courier.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
Ingenious Girl SQuatters.

A woman, unmarried and twenty-one
years old, has the right to take up land,
and in Dakota many have availed them
selves of this privilege by acquiring pre-
emption or tree claims. Bethrothed
couples from the East sometimes take up
adjoining claims and then marry and
settle down on 480 acres. One of the
conditions of the law, however, is that
any one taking up claim shall live on
it for six months. -Four girl pioneers,
who wanted to take up claims, adopted
a good plan to meet this requirement.
Taking up section of $40 acres they
built a cabin on it containing four cor
ner rooms, the center of the house being
lust over the point where the four Sec
tions met, as shown by the following dla-
gram:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
OUR MERRY MISCELLANY,
LAUGHABLE YARNS CLEANED
FROM THE NEWSPAPER PRESS.

Struck Bonanza-Occupati Gone
just for the Principle-The
Result Of Imagination, Etc.
smith Brown, am glad to see yOu
looking 50 we'll and prosperous. Big
change since saw you three months ago.
Have you struck bonanza~
Brown-''Yes. You know am one of
the heirs to the Hyde estlte in England,
worth over three hundred millions OF
dollars!"
Smith (excited)--"C Certainly. You
don't mean TO tell me that the thing is
settledl'
Brown--"Yes, so faras / am concerned.
I've dropped all claims, and am now Civ
ing close attention to business. Ishould
saw had struck bonanza
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

NLihLh NV }
The plaintiff seems to have been au
eminently prudent and economical suitor.
Handkerchiefs at ten cents each is almost
famine quotation. The raisins and
candy they no doubt ate together. What
was done with the ''two pound cotton
chain" it is impossible to conjecture, ex-
cept it were to keep the defendant en-
ployed while the plaintiff fingered and
loved. How he could have conducted
whole summers courting on "Horse
hire, so cents, is a positive marvel. By
judicious advertising the recipe could
be made tn yield him fortune in a short
time The price at which the ring was
obtained would "maken a second hand
store if properly employed as bait to
catch customers. Against the plaintiff $
claim the defendant entered contra ac-
count. The chief items were three gal
Ions of oil, used during the courting, and
time lost by the lady's mother sitting up
at nights to watch the couple. The jury
took the view that value had been re:
ceived, and gave verdict for defendant
Toronto Globe
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26
VOL. XIV.
OH, SILVER CLOUD.

OH, SILVER CLOUD.
oh, silver cloud, moment white
Thou gleameSt fair within my sight.
Then off beyond the mountains blue
lose thee in the darkening hue
OF comrade-clouds whose ranks unite.
Are thou a snow-clad neophyte,
Attendant on the Queen of night,
Hurrying to join her retinue,
Oh, silver cloudt
Mayhap, oh, truant, by her might
Eos demands thy service-right
To bind her golden locks or WOO
Her rosy face to smile anew
Or dost thou follow Phoebus' fight,
Oh, silver cloudl
Edgar H'eiag Brenaer, in the Current.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

A prominent Pennsylvania coal oper-
ator has noted that the great majority of
coal-mine disasters occur between mid
night and 3P, NJ.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

Each woman then moved into the room
located on her 100 acres and yet enjoyed
the society of her companions. They all
provided themselves with revolvers, but
as a rule women on the prairies are as safe
as those who live in large cities.-Nit-
acaukee Sentinel.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1886-02-26

Presents given to
Elizabeth Dorion dur
ing courtship with
Gustavus Frigault,
and for which he re-
ceived no value.