Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1886-07-09
4 CHEERFUL pAKOTAIIAR.
Samples of What an Average nakotau Can Do
at the Expense Of the Truth.
Modern Miller

In the east thousands of people plant
and SOW I'm the moon" to insure rapid
growth, but in Dakota ii is dangerous TO
plant in the prolific phase of the moon, SO
they are careful to plant at such n time
when the moon will exert its influence in
holding the crop back. l have known sew
eral disasters to result from neglect of
this precautiou. One day last January
got lost out in the country, and while
was toiling through the tall, new grass l
saw man with nothing on but his sus-
penderS tearing along like mad. He
stopped just long enough to tell me what
was up, and of he went again for the
Iowa side of the Sioux river. which he
cleared at a bound, and fell all fours in
snow drift four feet deep. lie said he
and his wife had hooked up the moon bus
mess and had planted their garden the
evening before, hui happened to get
hold of a last years almanac and missed
II about four days. The result was that
when he woke up that morning the beets
that he had planted 40 feet from the house
had crushed i'll the cellar walls and
squash vine had taken the door off its
hinges and was just mopping the floor
with all there was left Os the + red man
whom it had snatched out of bed i'll the
attic. He didn't know where his wife was,
but he saw some shreds of nightgown
and several agate buttons i'll the front
yard rs he fed lie said there were pea
vines after him with pods on 'om large
enough for phantom boats; and one
could see by the way he was dressed that
If he was Il liar at all he was not n regular
Dakota thoroughbred sample. If really
thought would ever become an average
Dakota liar | would want to die. This
territory must be divided some time be
fore the last day of Judgment, for how
could the Almighty ever audit its accounts
with only one set of clerical agents at
work at n time.
About two weeks ago saw farmer
out behind n straw stack gathering into
a heap n lot of old bones and pieces of
hides and sprinkling salt upon them.
Yesterday ! saw this same man selling
fine pair of steers to Il butcher up town.
They were so fat and had filled up so fast
that he had pieced ont their hides with
an old buffalo robe. This granger was
Sunday school superintendent before he
came to Dakota, but he swore these were
the same cattle | had seen him kicking
together behind the straw stack. He said
all they had eaten was some wild grass
that had sprung up in his door yard where
the womenfolks had thrown out a few
tubs of warm soap suds on wash days. He
said that he had learned that the best
way to winter stock in Dakota was to
knock them all to pieces in the fall and
set them up again as wanted; otherwise,
unless we get a blizzard every week they
were liable to get too fat and round on
the native grass.
TDl -,
a match to light my pipe with. The man
told me to go right out in the garden and
pick all / wanted. | did not know what
he meant at first, but he went out with me,
and almost afraid you'll think I'm a
liar for telling it-there was about half
an acre growing the finest parlor matches
| ever saw. They were as thick as h5irs
on a blind mole. He said he had poor
crop the year before because the seed
was too good for such soil. This year he
had mixed his seed matches with about
one-fourth toothpicks and got splendid
yield.
| went out after breakfast and saw the
the man blowing up hubbard squashes
with gunpowder. They were too large to
be moved, and the farmer wanted the
ground. | noticed that one of his wife's
legs was about eight inches longer than
the other, and the man explained it thus:
He said when they first came to Dakota
they lived in dug out" with nothing
but ground for floor, from which they
had to NOW the grass once day to find
the baby. He said his wife had n habit
of sitting with one leg over the other
knee, and the leg that remained in con
tact with the soil got such a start that the
other could never catch up.