The Washington critic., 1886-02-19
GENERAL AND cRtrIcuLAn.

ANflsh II ~ y ~
Mr. Thurbor, the anti-monopolistic mo-
uopolist, is accused Of being q sham re-
former. Yet we nrc all that, for don't we
want TO reform shams?
Count Dc Soto, the Spanish Minister to
Switzerland has been recalled tor being
drunk at ball. Hadn't he better sign the
pledge and change his name to Count De
Soto-Water2
Congressman La Follotteis the only Mem
her who wears his hair pompadour. lie is
also the youngest Member, and when he
grows older he may he induced TO shoot the
pompadour.
General Sherman is complaining about
the tyranny Of the press; and no wonder,
for man that kisses as many girls us Billy
Tecump does certainly should not be
called on to hug them, too.
When there's beauty in the weather.
And the storms are hushcd to sleep,
There's beauty in the galleries
Five or six rows deep.
From some remarks made on the floor
yesterday by Congressman Brumm to Gen
eral Bragg 1t would seem to be not out OF
order to suggest to the gentleman that he
spell his name without the r.
Yesterday was Fitz John Porter day IN
the House, and the Member from Wisconsin
made the brag speech of the occasion.
"According 10 the etiquette OF the
House. said Congressman on the aoor
who was unable to hear his own argument,
according to the etiquette Of the
House ~
"There Amt any," interrupted Member
across the aisle, aud the ceaseless chatter of
many voices remained ceasecss.
Allan OMyers, the distinguished Ohio
politician, was here during the last snow
and one day a friend met him on the street.
"Ilcllo,n he said, "what are you doing
here?n
"Looking for an Office, aud ! got 1t, too,'
answered the statesman.
"No? What was it?"
"Onc of the bosses up at the Capitol gave
me a snow shovel and set me to shoveling
snow.n
GLOW long did you I'll the positiong'
"lbout ten minutes, guess"
"You left the Job thcn2n
"You bet
"liow much did you get for the snow
shovelFn
Mr.. O'Myers refused to recognize the in
situation by any reply and left without any
parting salutation.
Governor Curtin yesterday made the live
lest speech of the Fitz John Porter cam
paign in the Forty-ninth Congress Curtin
belongs TO the ancient regime of orators and
his voice and manner bring memories of
aWd lang syae.
senator Vest says that "rigors of the eli
maten cause the generous absorption of
whisky in the West. Jedge Waxem from
Wayback said last night that Senator Vest
was right. "Them riggers," said the Jedge,
"do make man banker after three fingers
of iooce. But must say that have met
IlOiC Bclo uClC III w Iluu
anywhere else"
The National convention OF hotel-keep.
ers, to be held in New York May II, will
| doubtless be the most entertaining affair Of
| the season.
In the great controversy between butter
| and olcomargarine, the best butter is likely
| to win.
1t is sad to learn that the recent floods in
Boston were most destructive in the bean
| districts.
| A boy will cat and boy will drink,
| And boy will play all day;
| But hoy won't work and a boy won't think,
Because he amt built that way.
-[Chicago Ledger.
| A girl will sing and girl will dance,
| And girl will work crochet;
| But She can't throw n stone and hit a church,
Because she amt built that way.
| LYNN Union.
| girl will firt and girl will mash,
| And neer give herself away;
| But she can't scratch Il match ON the seat OF
her pants
Because She amt built that way,
| Herald.
| boy will jump and boy will hustle,
| For a dOllar-and-a half day;
| But boy can't wear n fye-pound Dustle,
| Ia pip't h1ilt that