Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-08-10
Bob Burdstte,s saylng.

A foolish preacher stood up last Sun
doy and said that "modern humor was
ephemeral; II was the cracking OF thorns
and would not last Its own day. Oh,
foolish parson Won't last dsy2 Why,
some OF the best Jokes have already
lasted over 1000 years and are still in
daily use.
CoMETH UP AS A FLOWER.
There is one blessed thing about sea-
sickness, anyhow. AT last we know
Whist causes It, DR.. Irwin attributes II
TO "disturbance Of the fluids in The
semiclrcular canals Of the ear" He
saws. "The otoliths are washed about
by each movement OF this fluid,
aud the clliae and terminal nerve
| hlaments are thus irrltated and
abused.m We always supposed that the
otoliths were washed about & great deal;
indeed, we had the impression that they
went over the side into the washing
waves of the deep and dark blue ocean
among the first things, and we agree With
DR.. Irwin that "the terminal nerve tlla-
ments are irritsted and abused;" we
have, IN fact, noticed our very 'toanails
tingle In the last stages OF wretcheoness,
but we never supposed the ears had much
10 do with t. Thankful men may be for
this discovery, for now the adyentureI
who goes down to the sea in ships can
have his ears cropped before he starts
THE SURVIVAL or THE BITTEsr,
''No, parson,' said Farmer Thistlepod
resolutely shaking his head, "good and
evil ain'tequally distributed IN this world
not by long chalk. See, here 1 DROP
into the ground one grain OF good wheat
Now, straight away after that one wee
little atom OF good comes. The chlncb
bugs, cut worms, weevil bugs, army
worms, blight rust, drought, mildew,
fire. hets, late frosts, hard winters, short
summers, grub worms, rain, heat, cold
and dry, and wet, prairie fires, the neigh
bors' cattle, the people from town,
weeds why, it's livin' miracle that any
good survives In the world at all,
wheu we see what 1t has 70 struggle
aqin. But Them added the old
man, stoI ping to pluck cherry-red
poppy and hurl IL over into the highway
''reckon ef 'twasn't so good as 1t is, We
wouldn't take the interest In helpin' II
along and figtin' fur It's life as we do
And with shout that scared the very
guinea hens into silence, he started tn,
gs across the field to warn away 4
party OF young folks who were swarminl
over the fence to gather few armfuls o.
| wheat to make winter baskets.
COMMON CASE or PALPITATIoN.
"a healthy PERSONS pulse" says The
|, lancet, "beats seventy times minute
hut there are, however, peculiar consti
tutions In which the pulse may beat Owe
seventy In health" My son, the Ian
Get Is correct. Your pulse In perfect
healthiul tune, may be placidly humping
away seventy minute but suddenly, ]
YOU happen 10 be lettering on the SAINT
! side OF the garden gate on perfect nigh
: In June--r-ree-ther late, and the mooi
: takes q modest dive behind convenien
cloud, about ten minutes long by iifteel
> wide, ami you lind hand ia the darl
i, about half the size Of your own tina
futters little while you are gasplng 10
breath and trying TO frame simple llttl
question that any girl can answer bu
which the whole department Of stat
couldn't put into language for you--un
der these peculiar conditions, my boy
your pulse will jump frol
:, ls0 without strain, 90
2l0 on the next rally, aud close o
i about $40, with d ris ng tendency, aud u
sign OF a breGk. You try H. son, and 20
will find that when scientific medict
journal, Ike the Lancet, makes STATE
:, ment about pulses, the genial and %
+" complished editor knows what bis facil
a penis talking about.