davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13


l was sitting down to lunch one
morning at Delmenico'f with q lit
erary friend wlientherr entered a
gaunt, tall man, with stouping
shoulders, a slouehing walk. iran :
gray hair and a pair of keen, Bright
eyes, who depositea'himselR heeyt
lily upon chair at'sle nearest las
can't table. My friend touched
my feet to direct my5nttspti0nsto
the newcomer, and 4spfas. sgd
do you know who that1a ?Es.No. =
That's 5qslrBfrlhpgS' he Yhis-
pered.- "Hll ask him to join us.
My friend arose. wanlitofhsa
BILE, grasped his hand and inzan-
other instant | was introduced to
the author of vast amount Of
mis-spelt wisdom. "How's every
bone in your. 9,oly2'" saif JOSH to
a
my friend. Them tttrnfhG 10 mo
he saiasfsG halai To EseeEyQu2 Ssir.
Just aissiRetl, from Epglends0e h2
BringmNoatlst anlk,eQGee heEess
he went On, saaklessmgsthe waiter
as he Observation-Disclosures. lean legs
under our table. i -
Before 1 left New YORK \ eallsa
on Josh Billings, with an album,
and modesto Ao6fited7 bis agfei
graph. He-tpok Ron his knees
gave his mouth comicdf twiet,
and wratsi sSsSs0 aoi.aa a..sss. :
"Thrice IS he armed Who hath
his quarrel lust" :. BARD OF Avon.
"And four times he who gets his
blow in fusts Fl = B 3 I y
Josh was eytrsmly Fond Of ami.
mails, and had a cat at his house in
Albany which be igrsvelyadsls
ed as Wilton, : II sliggested,
that TINT va. i dignifed 'ifane for
puss, as cats were usually called
Tom OF Tip" OF quck, short
cognomen.. : 4 sGa1zse 80
"But that's a special swell, blue
blooded specimen of thezsfeline
race, [ wish you to know" rejoin-
ed the humorist Recently, poor
felloy, he haf fits, and since then
l call him. "Fitz William" :.
Agood story fstold of the hui
morist being thrown, on one occa-
sion, AMONG Batch of students in
country town near New Heaven.
He was tramping along with a
rusty yellow dog, and entered the
barroom of a hotels for some re-
freshments. A group of the. Yale
lads chanced'to be there ON a fro1-
ic, and Immediately Interviewed
Billings whom they. evidently mis-
took for a farinel,' They inquired
with affected. interest; after the,
health;ofais wife and children,
and Josh, with eounterfeited sim
plicity gave theA ~ graphic account,
of his family and farm.
"Of course syouAbelOhga to the
church? ?" asked one Of tle',B6ys.
'Ysssthe lord be, praised, and
my fatlfer ana grandfather before
me-"
"Now, Lsuppose you would not
tell a lie," said one of the stud
ents. TUG &fs1GEIAs.A
"Not for the world"
"What will you take Nor That
dog?" pointing to Josh's cur,
which was crouching beneath his
chair. ~2'f IA sV
"iwaft Atsltsgaty dollars foa
th44sSsll ilJNlliBU iii.
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13
FARMS.

No. Q. 100 acres 60 in cultivation, new
frame house, new barn, CRIBS, &C., plenty
LOT water, cistern and running water for
stock, 800 beming fruit trees, nll tho farm
ing tools, Sc, on place thrown in, 81 miles
Enwof Harrison. $500. ...
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

able to laugh because yen are, at
seems b. me he uttered a sentence,
to use one of his own expressions,
''bulghg out with first-ehss Wis
DOM
=. 1.-THE sun rizes IN the east and
sets III the west, and the bull frogs
sings'sams in the marshes, md
thefe,aihtino pulling hair in Che
family circle, things are : about az
near right az yu can git them.
! shdqld there be no dew ON the
graasih the morning before sun
rise, it il an ipfellible, progpQsti&,
that there didn't epny dew IAN <
Pa EPIdRAMS.
' 1--we giveqp o,pupntlsto little
thihgs We Never slfalt he fi for big
ones. alslnre@ .asnnh Z aade Rlfo
.eqtldiE9ehGdf6fes flies with one
sYeepQf his.haRd then emmy body
else couldf and he want good at
anything else. -. a.
I1"Aboht the hardest thing q phel-
how kan do liz tew bpm,k tew girls
at ehstiana preserve "a good aver
age. =. Il =, semp. >
AsGoing tosla@ is lise skiiming q
newtmilk COW for hers hide sand
giving the beef few the lawyers.
"a man liaint got a well-bal-
'spced head | like teW see him piat
kis hail III / The aiddlaGe :
II I he'd rather Sqndertaik to be
two good doves than one decent
seftent -siGss.s ssa aasssst ! sOff
" IN SN+sI Saws.
F6rtdne=The dggregate Of pos
sibilities, q goddess whom cow
ards courtby stedth, but whom
brave men tekeby storm. ~
.Grayeyard,-A small patch ov
land caltiyated by the.dead, ieing
between time and eternity.
Anxiety--Milking kicking heif-
er with one hand and holding her
by the tail with the other.
lTarriage An alter koh switch
man LAYS mis- pocketboot and wo-
MIN hef ioye-l6tters. > ~ =
Bfss-Happiness bileing over
and running down both sides of
the pot. te -. =
MiserA wretch who.hns dug
out his heart to & stow away hiz
mummy in.
Solitpde-A good place to visit
but a poor place to stay. -
Lap dogs a nucleus for affek-
shun out ov job.
Bachelor The hero of. a cot
'bedstead; 80
Hashw7.A boarding. house conf
dence game.
DeeeitessA7dead,wasp with a live
tail.
Sarcasm An undertaken in
tears
Stingipess The bran Of eceho5
my. &c., f" So"
! Mqle "A bad pun on horse.
Law The sKackels ov liberty.
Enough Jist a leetle more.
Dignity Wisdom in tights. 4
Twins 2 mulch.
.r.t4.qs INFIDELITY.
AS a moral philosopher. Josh
was opposed to ipfdelitYs Here
are few Of his mild comments Oh
the subject e
Did you ever hear of a mans re-
noupcing Christianity on his death
bed and turning infdel?
Neither gamblers nor freethink-
ers have Faith enough in their pre-
fessidns to teach it tbUtheir cha
dren.
No atheist, with NIL his boosted
bravery, has everyet dared toad.
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

Exclusively devoted to buying and sell.
I-lpg Heal Estate, farms and town property.
both improved and ubimproyed. HaviEe
jusueompleted a full and perfect set Of A b
stfaft books OF, all the lands and the town
Ipropertyin. Bodh, Uountv, and by daily
examinations Of the Cqlmly Records IN CON
neetion Herewith, have gained n thorough
and extensive knowledge of thu lands.ah i
tpe Titles thereof which can be acquired in
no otlcr Way. ,t'''f '?..
fo. pGt5ons having property to.scllar ck-
chnrgeG | viii say that have .eciIfl adj
ygtls . ii readily 'dNp posing of the same,
being tqnneetsil With several ef the leading
and most reliable Real Estate Associations
in the county, and ai4stThy unotherwse OK.
tsnsise private correspondence Us vel. as by
Distant ADVERTISING my iacilities are there.
bYEreatly extended Place yenr property
ii my hahds aud it viii be widely adyertis-
I'D, bn,h Mt homt and 'abroad ard It Will. sE
sQEh. mo comm 4ston eAprged unieS5 sale
isnade. ferns very reasonable, Gail and
sec Tor ybnritlt1 60 a E. ~ = 1sa5I ~
i!9e tollasiog farms sid town property ]
~ 10 sY'ii4aI4.f. - rY.r..4.,-. at
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

Ne. So. Lou s. block 2, COX l50ft large
new tw6-ttory fraRse business house, east
side Public square 25xG0 lower for. good
Tor any business upper story used rs Off
ces, excellent barsain for business man.
: No. 49, Lot block A, small 9 room
cottage, neN stable and ont buildings, good
gmden, lot G0N15e. $3.50.
No. "A. Lots Z, o and L block 43. lots
each 60xl50, very desirablerVidcnce, frame
Fh0uso,1 rooms, thoroughly finished and in
Eticst-cI0ss repair, inside and out. with stable
and smeke-housc, &c, fine grounds, good
location. ,f ~. =, 1911
No. l8. BLOCK )" acre tract. frame
house, 21ooms and tit6Aei., smoke house
and stable, good well, al ulfdeF. fence,
splendid gardc4: .S725. t*.i.. .
No. 49, 45lLots in Clifford addition tc
IOWA OF Harrison, bare. ehHMeto sesI,r,
lgood building lots lr home in a good To-
cation For terms n sale AID pluLs show
ing loeationapply 1T this office, ",. 'is'.
No, 81. Complete IHeam saw.mi' and
Glfst mill, entire new machinery, including
uDlber and log on land, everything as il
Stands, Sdter inexhaustible. $500
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

No, II. Lots 3 and 4 block 20 and lot Q
block q, good large roomy housc, rooms
in irst- repair, Stable and cat buildings
ggtgdGf!g rentalalRlae per. annsm .SlOc.
~ 2o'1i1sot9 lz hgs 4alIb4
by No, l8a Snhd q of lot , block 8, 2 story
frams building, very desirable Business
south side pabiic square. Known
rs !ae Horse Shoe Drug Store, lot 80Xl 40it.
5b500. -'-ts : Z.
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13
of iiarrisoa.asi -,

y. 70. II, Is4sil 9ad bIo,R q to,aet lets
3qfl s9nigg s.esTy frameR4i.if, 5f g
ings, soeiI @ul! and most desna5le rosidisIloe
propertl,in HARRISON. Sl,Q60.. ss7szs 4,
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13
Warming Order. Boone Circuit
Court, February term 1886.

d, W, Ross PrrIl ~
against } Warning Om.r
W. y. Ross Dert.
Fhodoleudaot, N V. Ross /. warned to
appear IN this Coub within thirty days aud
answer the complaint Of the plaintiff D. e.
Ross.
This 9Th Iay ol December a d 1896.
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

Champagne cider nj thc CITY
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

7 mo atllelst, Win MI ms boosted
bravery, has everget dared .toRda
vertise his uabelief on his st5nibl
stone. = - - 8 &A va
Practical philosophy was Josh's
feFtet In this Respect he was in
imitable. None of the humorists
of thepfes6nt geheratfonAsye done
SO much or conveyed so many
Iweighty matters ih'sucha popular
formf There is full measure,
too, of sarcasm in hiss sayings.
Witness these.
There IL sum, pholks in this
world who spend their whole lives
q hunting after righteousness, and
kant find ennyrt time. tew praktiss
lit. t, az.
Whenever minister haz preach
ted q sermon thatpleazesth the whole
congregashun he probably haE
preached one chat the Lord wont
endorse. aa t'-Y
One oy the hardest things for
emmy man tew do IL tew fall on the
ice when it IL wet, and then get up
and praise the Lord.
I 1t koSts good deal to be wise,
But il don't kost ennytlig to lie
1 happy ...
! But what don't make a woman
vain makes her very butiful.
Advice il bike lastor ile, easy
enutf tew give, but dredful uneasy
tew take.
Living on hope IL like living on
wind, a good way tew git phull,
Int a poor way tew git phatt
II you want tew git at the cir
cumference Of a man, examine
him among folks; but il you want
tew git at his aktual diameter,
Imeazure him at hiz Preside.
The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1886-02-13

No. 48. Lot block A, small room
cottage, neS stable ind ont. buildings, good
gmden, lot 60N15e. $3.50
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
Economy i'm Dress.

1t is long time since fashion has
set her face so firmly in favor of econo-
my as at present 1t is no longer posi-
BILE TO estimate anybody's husbands in
come by the clothes she wears. The
millionaire's wife may be easily outdone
by her cook in point of expensiveness
of apparel. Stiff, rustling, silks are left
to the magnificence of the housekeeper,
satins are altogether eschewed, and
righteously. / heard an ''esthete" say
last winter that tight-fitting black
satin sleeve over plump arm looked
like nothing so much as carefully
polished section of stove-pipe, and l
consider the comparison happy one.
But nobody is tempted to buy satin, or
even its softer, more subdUed, and agree
able substitute, surah, for this sum-
mer's "best dress" You can receive in
an embroidered linen, dine in pom
gee, 90 to church in seersucker, and
spend the rest of an idyllic existence in
gingham or lawn. Ribbons form
the favorite inexpensive adornment,
and even bonnets fall under the econom-
ical decree. The fashionable milliner Is
said to be in condition bordering up
on delirium over the problem of putting
enough ofribbon loops and net together
to make even the mockery of value ex-
changed for $40. Flannel-that most
useful and reconstructible materials
more popular than ever.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
Drain Letting.

Notice is Hereby Given, That /, George T.,
Mason, County Drain Commissioner of the coun-
ty of Shiawassee State Of Michigan, will, on the
10Th day of September, A. ID. 1886, at the resi-
depce of Clements Nethaway; in the township OF
Fairfield, at ten o'clock in the forenoon of that
day, proceed to receive bids for the construction
of a certain Drain known as the "Nethaway
Drain" located and established in the said IOWA
ship of Fairfield, and described as follows, to-wit
Beginning at point situated 3IIoo chains W
and 81 links n of e corner OF e \ OF n e \ sec.
80, town north of range 1 east. Fairfield; from
thence running sol4 degrees, 3o-Ioo chains;
thence ~ degrees, e chains; thence SO de-
gress, 7o-ioo chains; thence as degrees. e
eo-Ioo chains; thence n 81 degrees, .so-ioo
chains; thence S san degrees, So-Ioo chains:
thence So is degrees, 10 ee-Ioo chains; thence
$ 731 degrees, e6-Ioo chains; thence $50 de-
grees, a4-Ioo chains; thence 81 degrees, 1
chain; thence 6712 degrees, 3 $500 chains;
thence 364 degrees, 10 o7-Ioo chains; thence
S 37k degrees, e chains; thence 6aM degrees,
e az chains, to point witnessed by soft maple
"a inches in diameter, bearing I5H degrees. W
81 links distant. Said ditch to be two feet wide
on the bottom, with slope of one foot rise
on each side to ach foot rise.
Greatest width of surface excavation, 10 feet and
inches. The land to be taken for said drain is
strip IS feet wide on each side of the above de-
scrbed line. Said Job will be let by sections or
divisions. The section at the outlet of the Drain
will he let first, and the remaining sections in
their order up stream in accordance with the dia-
gram now on file with the other papers pertaining
to said Drain, and bids will be name and received
accordingly.
Contracts will be made with the lowest RESPONSE
BILE bidder giving adequate security for the per
Torrance of the work, in sum TO be fixed by
me. The date for the completion of such CON
tract and the terms of payment therefor, shall be
announced at the time and place of letting,
Notice is Further Hereby Given, That at the
time and place of said letting the assessment Of
benefits made by me, will be subject to review.
Dated this sist day OF August, A. D. 1850
County Drain Commissioner of the County o
Shiawassee.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
Too Many Cheap Books.

The literary pirates of this city have
so savagely cut one another's Threats
that the loss of blood seems likely to
kill most of them, writes New York
correspondent Of the Baltimore Ameri-
can. Alarming weakness is exhibited
in several instances. Each concern has
been eager to slash into its competitor
and has done SO in manner to intlict
self-injury. Every foreign novel, no
matter whether there was reasonable
chance or not that it would have any
sale, has been grabbed ut the earliest
possible moment by three to six of the
Library publishing firms and hastily
thrown upon the overstocked market
on terms that allowed the retailers to
return unsold copies. So complete have
the mechanical resources of the pirates
become that in three establishments the
entire work, including type setting,
printing, and binding, is done by ma
chimes. The stolen matter can be
rushed through in ten hours when
driven at the quickest. The celebrity of
the process has tempted the publishers
to vast ovcrproduction. A member of
one firm declares that not more than
one book in twenty in the cheap libra
ries repays the cost of issue; and that,
even with the most popular novelists'
stories, duplicate piracy divides the
profit into small portions. Heavy capt.
tai is required, because all the stock in
the hands of the retailers throughout
the country is owned by the publisher
during the six months that it is left on
sale. Within month the returns of
copies have been enormously increased.
While the aggregate sales have lessen
ed, the stock issued has multiplied
through hot rivalry. Intellectual efforts
have been made to bring about COM
pact under which the foreign novels
should be apportioned among the libra
ries, in the way the regular publishers
used to do, but nothing has come out of
it. Now, rumors are ailoat of insolven-
cies and impending bankruptcies.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10

'My marriage was very romantic
one." said Chicago gentleman at the
Palace who is on his bridal tour. "The
lady's former husband was an intimate
friend of mine. He was n good fellow,
but he didn't use her WELL Although a
gentleman in most respects he was SO
unfortunate as 10 have the drinking
habit, and occasionally, while in liquor,
he raised the deuce in the domestic cir
Gle. Both he and the lady were accus-
toned to come to me for advice after
these affairs. Get divorce. says l at
last. Agreed says they, and shook
hands on it. Then they separated pend
ing the result of the legal proceedings
Visited the lady in her retirement sew
eral times. Frank said tho husband
to me, don't you think you had better
not call on Lizzie while this divorce
business is in progressp' why, Bob,
says /, what the mischief have you to
do with the matterp' Il don't like it,
says he. But, says /, 'as she's getting
a divorce from you and you are con-
senting what difference can it make to
you who calls on her?' Frank, says
he, looking me straight in the eye. do
you mean to marry Lizzic?' We'll,
Bob says /, the idea never occurred
to me before, but now that you suggest
it, l don't know but what l will. Do
you think she'll be likely to favor the
idea herselfP' Pm blessed" continued
the Chicago man, ''if the fellow didn't
begin to fight the divorce from that
minute. We downed him, of course,
but he's still cool and even refused to
attend the wedding. However, when
we get home my wife will manage to
smooth him down. She knows his
ways, you understand. There's moth
ing so painful to me as n break in an
old friendship, and we both really like
Bob very well, in spite of his faults. y
San Francisco Post.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
ORDER OF PUBLICATION.

State of Michigan. the 9TH Judicial circuit-in
Chancery. Suit pending in the Circuit Court for
the County of Shiawasse-In Chancery, at Corunna
on the 22d day of July, 1886.
The First National Bank of Owosso, Mich
igan VS.. Benjamin johnson Sr., Lawrence d..
johnson, Erastus e. White, Mary johnson, Mathew
ID. Faughner, william A. Faughner Martha l.,
Faughner and Wellington White.
1t satisfactorily appearing by affidavit that the
Bill Of Complaint herein, has been duly filed and
that the Defendant Lawrence ID. johnson, is nom
resident of this State and is resident of Ontario,
one of the British Provinces of North America, on
motion of Lyon Hackleman, Solicitors for said
Complainant, il is ordered; That said Defendant,
Lawrence ID. johnson, cause his appearance to be
entered in said cause within.four months from the
date hereof according to the rules and practice of
said Court and in default thereof that the said Bill
Of Complaint be taken as confessed by said Defend
ant, Lawrence ID. Johnson.
And 1t is Further Ordered: That within twenty
days said Complainant cause copy of this Order
to be published in THE TIMES, a newspaper pub
lished and printed in the County of Shiawassee,
Michigan, and said publication to be continued
once in each week for six successive weeks, or that
copy of this Order be personally served upon said
Defendant, Lawrence ID. johnson, at least twenty
days before the time prescribed for his appear
ance herein.
Dated this 22d day Of July, 1886.
"a true copy. FRANK II. WATSON.
Circuit Court Commissioner for Shiawassee County
Michigan.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
SneriTS Sale.

Notice is hereby given that by virtue of Il
writ OF feri facias, issued out of the Circuit
Court tor the County of Shiawassee in favor
of Abbie c. Shattuck, against the goods,
said county to me delivered. did on the 30th
day of June, A. ID 1886, levy on and take all
the right, title and interest of the said James
ID. Huff, in and to the following real estate,
that is to say; the northwest part of the west
half of the northeast quarter of section four
Teen, also the east part of the east half of the
less, situated in town six north of range four
east in Shiawassee county, State of Michigan,
auction or vendue to the highest bidder at
the front door of the court house in the citv
of Corunna, in said county, on the 10Th day
of October next, A. d., 1886, at ten O'Clock in
the forenoon.
Dated, Aug. eth, 1886.
WM II. COLE. Sheriff,
BY l.. WEIGHING, Deputy Sheriff.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
PROBATE ORDER.
STATE OF MICHIGAN, ss
CouNry OF SHIAwAssRK. ss

STATE STATE OF OF 9 SS.H.ssa SIS
At session of the Probate Court for the
County of Shiawassee holden at the Probate
Office In the City ofCorunna, on Saturday the
2lst day of August, in the year one thousand
eight hundred and eighty-six.
Present, A. A. Harper, Judge of Probate.
In the matter of the Estate of Jonas G..
Cook, deceased. On reading and filing the
petition, duly verified. of John w. Dewey,
PRAYING amongst other things for the Probate
of the instrument, now filed in this Court,
purporting to. be the last will and testament
of said deceased.
Thereupon il is ordered, that Monday the
Goth day of SeptemberneXt,at 10 @ clock in the
forenoon, be assigned for the hearing of said
petition, and that the heirs at law of said de.
ceased, and all other persons interested in
said estate, are required to appear at session
of said Court, then to be holden ut the Probate
Office, in the City OfCorunna, and show cause,
If any there be, why the prayer Of the petition
err should not be granted And it is Further
Ordered, that said petitioner give notice to
the persons interested in said estate, of the
tendency of said petition, and the hearing
thereof, by causing copy of this order to be
published in The TINES, a newspaper printed
and circulated in said County of Shiawassee
for three successive weeks, previous to said
day of hearing A. A HARPER,
"a TRUE coPY.) Judge of Probate.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
CONSUMPTION CURED.

An old physician, retired from practice,
having had placed in his hands by an East
India missioner the formula of a simple veg
etablc remedy for the speedy and permanent
cure of Consumption, Bronchitis, Catarrh,
Asthma and all throat and Lung Affections,
also positive and radical cure for nervous
debility and all nervous complaints, latter hav-
ing tested its wonderful curative powers in
thousands of cases, has felt it his duty to
make it known to his suffering fellows. Ac-
tuated by this motive and desire to relieve
human suffering, will send, free of charge,
to all who desire it, this recipe, in German,
French or English, with full directions for
preparing and using. Sent by mail by adj
dressing with stamp, naming this paper, w.
A. MOVES 80 Powers Block. Rochester,
N Y
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1886-09-10
The Vacant Room ut the White
House.

The Garfield chamber in the White
House still remains unopened, and has
never been tcnanted since it was va
Gated by the wounded president in 1881.
1t is said that President Arthur had a
horror of the place, and that the present
occupant of the White House is equally
loath to break the sombre silence of the
apartment. This course is natural, but
it is scarcely wise. Gen. Garfield did
not die in the room, so there is scarce
ly even ghostly presence to forbid the
removal of the close curtains and the
sealing up of the apartment rs haunt
ed chamber. There is not too much
space in the White House, and no desc
Grafton would be implied in the restora
ton of the chamber to u condition OF
occupancy and usefulness. baltimore
Herald