Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-12-18
BRIGHT BITS.

ARTIST-Bay rum?
EictIm--W aal, Pm from Maine, but it's a
pow'ful cold day. Don't keer 4 do. just a
drop with leetle m'lasses won't hurt no.
body.-Tid- Bits.
1T ls SAID that m an who wont take paper
because he can borrow one mas invented a
machine with which he can cook his dinner
oy the smoke of his neighbours chimney
west Union ArGo,
AN exchange informs us that the sladies of
Washington Territory sit on iurles.' We
wish they would come to New York and sit
on some OF the noodle Aldermen jurors
P0nkers Statesman.
GERMAN-Why don't you Americans drink
beer as we do?
Young America-How's thatf
German-Sip it slowly, and take half or
three-quarters of an hour to a glass.
Young America with disgust)--It would
take all night to get full.-Adoocate.
"L1TTLE BOY" said an old gentleman on
lower broadway, why do you cry SO bit
terly?"
Cause 1 Just lost fifty cents"
DID you drop 1T down a coal hole?"
asn't that. lost 1t over IN de bucket
shop, speckeratin' IN st. Paul. "-Life.
I'VE got fond brother named Jim,
no says Ill be married to Tim,
not very distant relation;
But say to him: Jim,
will not marry Tim,
For Pm not of marry Tim nation"
-D"SG'U transcript.
ANARCHIST thotlyJ-Yes, sir, the working
Workingman-What do you know about
workingmen? You never did an honest days
work in your life. How can you represent
us?
well, IL spell labor with big L.-0maza
World.
"pvE become quite interested in that poor
man., said philanthropic old lady to the
Sheri fl as she pointed to one of the prisoners
HE tells me would be surprised il | knew
all he went through"
~ guess you would, mum" said the Sheriff;
that fellow is the most expert pickpocket in
the country."-Judge.
"I'M called Ebenezer." said the old salt.
land this is how / got ny name: Father
owned small sail boat, and one day she
struck at high tide, and he couldn't tell what
was wrong. Some of his mates wanted to
help him get her of. bat he said No. the tides
agin me and III wait until the ebb an easer
on and he was so grateful he gave me the
name. -PittSbur0 Chronicle Telegraph.
HAIRY 1 don't know what to give Ida for
Christmas present. / was thinking set of
furs light be the thing.
WIll-You've been keeping company with
each other long enough. why don't you give
her yourself? 1t wouldn't be quite so ex-
pensive as the furs.
Harry-Oh, we are already engaged
Will-Well. since that's the case. give her
the furs. You'll only need 10 buy the tippet,
'oi SOu nave hiOohJ klf6u nCE buG
BOston Budgst.
The CZAR-Brother Jonathan do Won
know anything about the Standard Oil Com
pany?
Brother Jonathan should say I did.
Why?
"They have been buying land and wells
over here"
''They have? Have they made you an offer
for your throne YETI"
so, no."
Haven't they limited that you could make
money by selling out now and retiring to pri-
vate life instead OF waiting until they squeeze
you out?'
mot q wOrd'
tits some other company then."-O,naAa
World.
SHE liked the candy and flowers he brought,
she let HIM adore at her mimic court,
And rather enjofed the arrangement:
But whenever he asked her to drive or walk,
Or sit on the rocks Scra quiet talk.
Twas always; $50 idly OF you. you know,
Indeed, I'd be only tos happy TO go.
But, you see, Rtve an engagement"
The summer flew Oh, as summers do,
And love and despair to anguish grew,
At the thought Ct the winters estrange-
ment;
SO he asked her one night to be his bride,
And 90 through life With him at her side:
Her laugh rang out On the evening air
AS she showed him ring on her finger fair.
And murmuret: Il have an engage
ment. Life.