The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1886-03-04
Railroading in Dakota.

Isn't this motion pretty slow?"
"Well, we amt flying, III admit"
"Sure everything's all rightH'
"I think so"
"Wheels all greased?"
Eyes, I creased them myself"
"Tires all on?"
ayes, we run through the creek
back here and soaked up the wheels so
they would stay"
"Any spokes loose?'
"No."
"You are certain tho wheels are all
on the rails?"
"They was when I come in
Couldn't be possible that any OF
them are off and the axle dragging,
could it2"
81 guess not"
care we going up hill3"
mo, this is pretty mid'lin' level"
"Do you always run at this gait"
mo, we generally hump along lit
tie EASTERN this.p
"May l ask what is the trouble
them"
"Certainly. We found fine two
year-old steer stuck in a trestle back
hear before you got on and stopped
and helped it out. You know the rules
of the road are that in such cases the
animal belongs to the company"
"But l dent see why that should
make you run SO laundering slow?"
"Why you blame fool, we're takin'
that steer along to headquarters; got
it tied behind and it amt used to lead
in and don't walk up v'ry well. I'm
doing all | can, got the brakeman
prodding it up with an umpreP and
an ear Of corn tied to the end OF the
bell rope-if you think I'm goin' to
start up and go howlin' along and
yank the horns off as good steer as
there is in the territory, why yon re
mistaken, that's all! Us trsinmen can't
expect our pay unless we bring i some
stock once 'ner hile."-Estellins Bell.
Life Studies by Lige B. own.
Thanks to the genius OF Pasteur,
the mad dog no longer terrifes, but
what are we going to do about the era
zy quilt?
The man who never gets mad is
supposed to be half brother to the
woman who never looks behind
her.
| A woman in Arizona recently kill
ed wildcat with broom, and yet
man, with all his wisdom and phil
osophy, has never been able to kill the
tamest Kind Of tommy with an iron
bootjack. gIg, gr-a5
| A scientist somewhere has been try
ing to prove that sunlight is blue
He will find the present an excellent
time to push his theory. The holiday
bills are beginning to come in.
"Colored jewels are beginning to be
all the rage this season." says a fash
ion item. What's the odds whether
the cook is white or black so long as
she understands her business.
"All men are ruled by trifes," says
an essayist, but Bliggins atirms than
any man who calls his wife trift
don't know what he is talking about
She weighs over two hundred
If there is anywhere in life a silver
fringed, 14-karat, full-jeweled momen
it is the diamond-bespangled instan
when the young husband first discov
ers that his wife knows how to cook.
DR.. Mary Walker was forcibly eject
ed from one Of the departments a
Washington the other day on accoun
Of impertinent conduct. II she want
to be treated as a gentleman she
should behave as such.
1t takes the dignity out OF a maj
quickerthan rain would ruin bon
net, when compelled to converse will
woman by telephones No man cal
stand on his tiptoes and yell till hi
eyes turn red, and at the same tim
preserve animpcsing presence.
'sGoot morning, my frind how yor
feel desc morning. said q German
doctor, taking his patient by th
wrist.
"Oh, / feel first rate, DOCTOR" sal
the patient in feeble voice.
so, SO; dots nice. Let me see dc
tongue. Dot yos nice, too dot va
ferry goot-fery goot. How vas dos
! headache2"
aThat's all gone, doctor"
$50 so dot yos nice some NOR,
How vas dose abbedite?"
"0h I've got a splendid appetit,
doctor. 1t seems as though l can
get half enouge to eat. 7 can eat an,
thing"