The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-03-17
REV. SAM JONE,
Sayings Of the Celebrated Southern
R-vfvsIist

ooOk dI0 not QeIend the DOOk
they preached Christ-they did not
defend Christ they preached heav.
en- and hell-the one topless. the
other bottcmless. Sot the effemi-
nate Christianity of the present day
-thst God will not take the right
eous to heaven nor send the sieked
/ to nell.
| used to dance; bat whsn !
wanted a wife | went to the prayer
meeting; and beat your sort, too.
Ons thing have against the
church in this day: We ars too slow.
The devil can run mile while We
are pulling on our boots.
As | look you in the face tonight
| tell you that If you will say l
am done; | will quit !" and mean II
with all your heart, God will put
His hand on you and save you
Some preachers never run up OF a
sinner until be is on bis deathbed.
About all they are At for - 20
marry the living and bury the dead.
They sometimes catch up with the
poor sinner Just before the last b:eath
leaves him Poor fellows
| sometimes 90 to the place and
find the preachers in the shafts pull
ling the whole load, with his tongue
lolhng out, and the whole church up
IN the wagon, some daneing. some
dridking, some gambling, some
swearing, some going 20 the theater,
some fussing, some PRAYING. some
weeping. some shouting, some tat
Ting, some scolding, and all at times
taking a whaek AT the poor little
half-dead preacher. pulling for dear
lite. Sonnet mes they take hI1 out
and feed him on rye straw and corn
shucks. That Is a sorry sight l
never want to leave that place untll
the whole thing is reyersed-the
church in the shaft aud the preacher
on the oox holding the ribbons and
cracking his whip. Now you are
getting down 10 business l ike
that
t'od pity the doctor who viii pre-
scribe liquor for a maui | might
prescribe it for poor dying woman,
but | wouldn't give 1t TO a man IN
I'll he was dead.
If you do before you get religion
what you know YOU would do after
you get religion, you viii be sure to
get 1t. 1t viii break out all over
YOU, from head 70 foot, ike the
measeis.
| am filed with contempt when |
hear one Of these little cymbling-
headed inhdels say Il can't be
saved, because / can't believe in
Christ. | AN sorry for him He
mas shut himself out OF the place Of
Gods mercy. because MS little GYM
bling head has some kinks IN 1t.
God SAYS: Give me thine heart
If vJu will surrender your heart 10
God, He viii soon comb the kinks
out OF your head
Custom "a the law Of fools. and ls
running this county.
I have known women too poor to
own q pair Of shoes, but / never
knew one too poor to own q looking
glass.
The man who doubts Is ike an
engine without steam or wheels;
the man who believes is Ike an Ell
CINE with both.
The devil Is just about satisfied
with a Christian who will do things
in New York that be would not DO
at home.
While in Nashville, | let down
my bucket so deep that it stirred the
mud. 1t was my bucket, but Mesh
ville's mud.
| have known preachers who look
ed as sad and solemn as If their
Father in heaven was dead and
hadn't left them a cent
A train that makes no noise rais-
IS no dust. kills DO stock and dis
turbs nobody viii never draw any
freight, or carry aCy passengers, or
20 anywhere.
The matter of church doctrine y
an accident. II my mother and
Brother Witherspoons a Presbyte-
rian) had snapped babies, ne would
have been a Methodist preacher.
The devil gives the best vine at
the first; God gives the best al the
last
If throw stone into a crowd OF
dogs, and one runs velDiBg. you
know that Is the one that Il hit
When you hear one Of these fellows
on the street yelping at me, you
may know be : the dog that Is hit
You have lots OF men in this city
who are neither good nor bad. Ask
them if they are good. No. sir.
Bad?" "No. sir" They are these
goody-gOod fellows They are not
worth ten cents a dozen IN any mar
ket in heaven, earth or hell.
Right in the middle of the path Of
duty there l. no power In earth or
hell that can harm you; 0ut you
had better mind how you take to
the business along the wsy-there IS
danger therel
Suppose you owned all OF tins
world-what would it worth to youe
You could put two such worlds in
you vest pocket and 90 and spend
the night on the dog star, and you
x0Gh not have enough 10 paw your
hotel bill in the morning You are
A poor fool 10 he holding on 10 this
old world and sinking down to
bell You turn this world loose and
20 with Us 10 heaven
Cincinnati reminds ms very much.
in speaking Of herself, of a colored
man at class meeting in the south.
| preached to eolored people il the
sogth as much as any white man IN
the south, and as often as l nave
opportunity Now. ss this eoioTed
folks experience meeting tnls color
ed brother go. ap and said Il will
steal, and i viii tell lies, and will
get drunk. and there amt a mean
thing in Gods world that | wonf
do" Wel. that was considered 3
good experience, and he took bis
seat. About that time great big
fellow brother jumped up snd he
said: Brothers. have heard Broth