Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1886-02-04
A MODERN FAIRY.
\ Plaintive Wall by One who Has Suffered
st Her Hands.

1T Her Hands.
This is fairy story. Like the story.
the fairy to be given away in this story
is composed on the usual modern plan,
and couldn't any more live on NOR
ning-glory bell than the ancient species
could be supposed 10 exist on bcefsteak
and cabbage. Still she has ways that,
could this poor sketch only set them
forth to suit the feelings OF the author,
would convey several other sorts OF
feeling besides wonder to the mind of
the reader. Our fairy generally has
nothing in common with her poor VIC
tim. who is SO unfortunate rs to ask
her civil question. but voice; be-
yond that she is not even an existence.
The most spiritualistic medium that
lives by revealing Cornplanter's latest
moral views at 80 cents view couldn't
possibly make her materializc any fur
Their than that, unless she should con-
sent to wear smile in place of the
voice. But this is rare.
Another popularity of this nowadays
fairy IS that after certain hour of the
evening she comes out in q voice far
down in the bass register and often ex-
hibits that slow and uncertain manner
OF one who has slept for several hours
while people have been trying to arouse
her.
But from her daytime voice one
would conclude that she is a blonde, -
the voice and the smile are always of
that complexion, but beyond that the
Imagination wanders a good deal Still
this alone is usually character enough
for heroines in yellow-covered novels,
and it ought to do for fairies. But as
nobody ever secs our fairy, this is
mere speculation anyhow, and should
not be given much weight.
Perhaps she should be looked upon
rather rs u medium, not for the confu-
sion and subsequent felicitation of the
world after the fashion Of the ancient
fairy, but for so alternating the human
voice that it assumes wonderful range
and capacity. This was once giit of
hers that is, until said gift was Sc
cured by patent right, when she at once
into device for testing the
tempers of the human race, and re-
mains rs invisible as before. This let
ter IS indeed her best card. Suffering
can't help itself, hence her
continued existence and tranquil pos
session of the blonde voice and the
smile. She won fare badly should
she materialize any further
Has she name? Yes, she is inyaria-
bly, addressed by the same title. People
the civilized world over call her
Hello" Whenever. as is usually the
case, they have to repeat her name 10
a hole in the side OF the wall for hall
an hour ut a time they get very red in
the face and arc seized with a desire to
smash furniture. But for the fact that
there Is often another pUrpIc-hued vie
tim bowling somewhere else in the
space, the echoes OF which howl come
the hole in the wall as a sweet
balm to the temper OF victim No. ], the
insurance companies might have Job
Of adjusting or the insane asylum
another lodger.
But the fairy is usually calm. She
is perfectly safe, and retains the same
blonde voice ut the end OF the half-hour |
when she manages to say that No. |
3, 497 for whom you have been howl |
ng can't be raised. She doesn't saw
that he may have died during the time |
that you have been trying TO spring an |
on him, but She is well aware |
hat he has had plenty OF time to die |
and be buried
Then you swear. That is, you are
Tiled with an inclination to commit |
profanity that it Iiqueiies after the
Of perspiratiou and drops off .