davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08
WIT AND WISDOM.

-Faithfulness is a higher attainment
han mere success; and, unlike success,
is within the reach of every man.
Sunday School Times.
-Teacher-"Can any boy tell me at
what time the sun rises now?" Small
BOY (shrin and prompt)-''Jus the
minute father calls, down at our house. -
TEXAS SJtimgs.
Mrs. Murphy say, Pat, what
tumble on yez an crush yez to death?
Pat (complacentiy}} }}-Faix, I'd fly foEs
me loifei
Let whatsoever you say be Clean
The organic law of decencv in human
intercourse is clean speech. One whose
mouth is foul is the tainted wether that
infects the flock.
Plain Enough. Little Girl--Mam-
ma, why doesn't the sea run over if all
The water flows into it? Nonsense,
child! Don't you know its full of
sponges?' Darlington Free Press.
Experience begets wisdom. It IS
only once in a lifetime that the corpu-
lent man hires fourth-foor apartment
IN house where there is no elevator,
simply because he can get it cheap
albany Journal.
Proprietor to ClerksI have pro-
cured complete stock of medicines,
gentlemen, and should any of you be
taken suddenly i'll while the baseball
season continues at the polo grounds,
you wiD not need to 90 home, as [ can
prescribe for you myself right here on
the premises.
1--WE perfect antipathy for the
mountains" said Mrs. Gush to Mrs.
Parvenu as they sat talking together on
the summer hotel piazza. s'HaVe you?''
said Mrs Parvenu. ''Well, I've an Al
pine stick, and the man said it was just
the thing, but I'm sorry now didn'f
buy an antipathy like yours!''
He was the Fool: 81 don't under
stand why women dress that way" said
a man, pointing at lady who passed
along the street. 81 don't either re-
piled a bystander. 'sThat woman. -
continued the first speaker, sis dressed
ridiculously. Her husband must be
fool" 81 know he is" said the bF-
stander. ''Do you know himp" s'Oh,
yes. I'm the man myself. IN Y
Ledger.
Mother said little Ned, one
morning, after having fallen out of bed,
81 think know why fell out of bed
last night. It was because / slept too
near where I gotin." Musing a little
while, as if in doubt whether he had
given the right explanation, he added:
s.No, that wasn't the reason; it was be-
cause / slept too near where I fell out. -
N 7. Independent
-"Say, conductor, aren't we run.
ming about twice as fast as usual?n
'|Yes.' 81 guess we're going down
hillP" mo- wind changed and
helping us along, perhaps?' Il guess
not. The fact is, we've sighted man
walking about a mile ahead on tha
track, and I'm going to catch him ana
make him get on and pay his fare if J
run the wheels off. The rules forbid
any man trying to beat the company
this way. IN. Y. Herald
"A one-legged Welshman. named
Jones, was bantering an HishmanA
when the latter asked him: s.How dSd
you come to lose your leg7o 'WeR"
said Jones, ION examining my pedigrve
and looking up nay descent, / found
that there was some Irish blood in me,
and becoming convinced that it had
settled in that left leg. had it cut OF
at once" "Be the powers" said Pa&
''it would have been better thing had
IL ao&k1a5 mn u0Fxr ho@A
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08

The summer visitors are rapidly leav-
ing for their winter homes.-Leader.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08

Farmers, dairy-nen and stock-raisers
all use Days Horse Powder. There is
nothing so good.
The season for the supers and conse-
quent indigestion is at baud. DR.. Bulp 8
Baltimore Pills is a specific for dyspepsia.
Try them. Price 20 cents.
In the ailments of babyhood attack
your baby use at once DIR. Bulls Baby
Syrup. Price 25 cents.
Drexels Bell Cologne cheers our soli-
tudea
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08

incoming scholars. The allies up stairs
for the outside rows are being taken out
and rows of seats put there instead.
G. A. Klein's large barn, which has
been the object of much attention during
its rise from the foundation, is completed
and is one of the most complete in the
Northwest. - Union.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08

We know of no mode of treatment
which offers, to sufferers from chronic
diseases, more certain hope of cure than
that which is comprehended in the use
of Ayers Sarsapalilla. For purifying
and invigorating the blood, this prepara-
ton is unequaled.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08

Ayers Ague Cure acts directly on the
liver and briliary apparatus. and drives
out the malarial poison which induces
liver complaints and bilious disorders.
" arranted to cure, or money refunded.
Try il.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08
WATERTOWN WIS WEDNESDAY, SEPT 8 1886

"lf humor, wit, and honesty could
save" from the Ills flesh is heir to, what
good price they'd bring in the market.
Well, twenty five cents will buy pana-
cea-SalvatioD Oil
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1886-09-08

A merchant down town sells more of
DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup than all other
medicines together. 1t surely must be
the best remedy for cough, cold, and
other similar affections. Price 25 cents.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Roman schoolmasters used a
whip made of eel skin to punish their
scholars on the naked back.
The Baltimore Catholic Mirror esti-
mates the colored Catholic population
of the United States at 100000.
BY all means agitate the question
of grading teachers salaries according
to merit, and let the question of sex in
this sphere be laid aside.-PhiladelphiG
Times.
Rev Atticus G. Haygood, of the
Methodist Church South, says that
since the war the people of the North
have contributed no less than 100000
900 for educational purposes in the
South. Chicago Times.
Along the line of the Panama
Canal are nine preaching stations kept
up by the Church of England. There
are about $4,000 laborers, number of
whom regularly avail themselves of
the privileges thus afforded.
The Boston Cooking School has
had six men as pupils during the year.
One man cook took thorough course
and the five other men took lessons for
the personal satisfaction of knowing
how to prepare food.--Boston Journal.
Although twenty thousand volumes
have been added in the last two years
to the Columbia College library there
is need of more books to meet the de-
mands of the professors and students
in the various departments of the Uni
versity, especially in the graduate
courses.-N Y SIN.
Arrangements have been made for
a series of conventions in the interest
of home missions in the several Presbv-
teries of the Synod of Ohio 1t is the
purpose of these conventions to bring
before the churches all information on
the work and needs of the home mission
fields Cleveland Leader.
The American missionaries are not
little proud of the prowess and clever
ness of the Bulgarians Many of the
bright young men who have come to
the front in the war received their train
ing in the schools established by the
American missions, which have ever
been warmly welcomed in Bulgaria.
For five years, every night in the
year without iutermission, well at
tended Gospel meetings have been held
at the Bowery Mission of the Young
Mems Home in New York. On a re-
cent Sunday evening the fifth anniver-
sary was held. at which wonderful tes-
timonies were given by men who had
been rescued.-M Y. Tribune
The Poles, Bohemians, Servians
and Bulgarians. and, in general, the
Slavonians living in the city of New
York and neighborhood, are discussing
project to establish in this country a
Slavonian Roman Catholic diocese in
charge of a Bishop, a Slovenian by
birth. There is no reason why the
Slav Catholics of this country should
not form a union of their own like that
of the German Catholics or the Irish
Catholics. But it is curious that these
American citizens of Slav birth intend
to petition the Gar of Russia that he
would intervene in their behalf before
the Pope. A Catholic priest, Pole by
birth, has already applied to the Rus
sian Consul of this city on the subject.
N Y Sun.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13

sion. But she managed to content herself
with sighing-Hum; and with relieving her
mind on the matter as soon as she found
herself alone with her own Bishop He
invariably laughed very much, and said ::
~ wish-1 wish you had told them your
thought" and then sighed a long ali; his
dreamy blue eyes looking steadfastly up
into the blue darkening heavens He
looked so we'll like that, with the rising
moonlight playing about his pale brow,
that poor Miss Jollibert felt her convictions
quivering and wavering, in way which
she might have laid hold of as a possible
argument in itself against fallible rule,
if she had only known it. But she simply
put her white hand upon the Bishops arm
and whispered:
"Of course you know best"
So time passed on. Just as early summer
was changing into late summer, great
illness broke out over the country. 1t was
exactly at this time that the Bishop and
Miss Jollibert had intended to be Joined
but they put off the ceremony for time,
and clasping hands fguratively-since duty
forbade them to do so in reality-they set
boldly to work. So all through the long,
hot days. and very often far into the sti-
fling nights, the blue barouche and the pur,
pie broughman rolled about Manchester
Sometimes it would happen that the two
crossed each other at the turn of a street,
at the corner of square, and the Bishop
WOulu lllb us uduJ calling Oub lduRulHSly
Glow do you do, Marion! Ninety degrees
in the shade, to-day" And she would nod
back with a smile: "Quite well, thank
you, Bishop wonder what it is in the
sunshineP
After the illness was in a great measure
abated; just as the hazy cornfields were
beginning to turn to gold; just then, Miss
Jollibert awoke one morning to find a
great peace at her heart, and that her con-
victions had forever fallen asleep. Strangely
enough it was the morning of her wedding
day.
At Miss Jollibert's wedding, there was not
one being who had the heart, or the
audacity, to say she was anything but a
very handsome woman; and that the
Bishop and she were a very lucky pair
Most of them added particularly the Bishop;
but if some of them did say instead especidtl,
Miss Jollibert it was not to be supposed
that slight was intended upon Miss JOLT
bert in any way. The very first flakes OF
snow that came down that winter, fell fail
upon the Lord Bishop of Manchester ars
Mrs. Hammersley.-Th ArgoSy.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

"A Michigan girl committed suicide
when she found out that 1886 was not
leap year. II Toledo Blade
Cigarettes never hurt good little
boys, because good little boys never
hurt cigarettes-by burning them
Philadelphia CAL.
An awfully homely man at a
sociable where kissing games are played
looks as lonesome as straw hat in
snow storm. Chicago Inter ocean.
"A surgical journal tells of a man who
lived five years with ball in his head
We have known girls to live twice as
long with nothing but balls in their
heads,-N. 7. Telegram,
The way that woman lately inden-
titled her stolen parrot was by bringing
her husband into court and scolding
him. The bird soon called out: 80,
lwish you were at Jericho, old woman!'
"A woman will face a frowning
world and cling to the man she loves
through the most bitter adversely, but
she wouldn't wear hat that was out
of style to save the Government
Y. Ledger.
1t is estimated that in this city 1867
40S men, on the day following Christ
mas, when asked what they got, re-
piled, "Got left. This is a gratifying
decrease of nine since last year.-Phil-
adelphta call.
If Horn Tooke had not many years
ago had his joke published, some enter
prising funny man might now say in
comment on the burning of the hat fac
tory in New York yesterday, ''The loss
will be felt. "-PiHsburgh Commercial
Gazette.
-"What did you do the first time you
got into battleP" said young lady
to an old soldier. "Of course you
didn't runP" 80, no; | didn't run,
miss; not at all, but if 1 had been 60
ing for a doctor, and you had seen me,
you would have thought somebody was
awful sick. y Chicago Journal.
"A perpetual joy
My wife isn't much of beauty,
But housekeeping body is sho;
Efficient in housekeeping duty,
And makes the house pleasant for me,
She wears the most tasty apparel,
And she's perpetual JOY,
And we've never in life had quarrel,
For she cooks like an angel, my boy.
Boston Courier.
mo, sir; haven't seen the will,
but l propose to fight it. My uncle
was crazier than loon and couldn't
make will" Lawyer Filchem-''B
drew it for him, and know that he
bequeaths his entire estate to you"
us that so? Then just consider your
self retained to defend the instrument.
propose to protect my dear uncle's
memory to the furthest extremity. -
Philddeiphia Press
Suburban belle-"How delightful
it must be to spend Christmas in a great
country house-lke Stilton Grange, for
instance" Delightful stranger (from
London) -"Yaas. By-the-by, her Grace
of Stilton has just written to say she ex-
poets me there for Christmas week.
S'pose l shall have to go!' Suburban
belle-"Won't you find it rather
lonelyP" Delightful stranger-"L Lonely!
A--whyP" Suburban because
| saw in to-day's Morning Post that the
Duke and Duchess and family are not
expected back from Australia before
February Collapse of delightful
stranger London Punch.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13
TAKEN IN.

"Here have been all mornin' trampin'
about the town
Try'n to ind a fellow that goes by the name
q Brown;
Kind OF a delicate looking, consumptivey
sort o. Cuss:
Has the cut of parson, but guess he S
heap sight wuss.
''Id no moren left the depot when a dapper
an spruce young chap
Comes mp to me from behind somewhereS an
gives me gentle tap
Cuse me, he says, when looks around, but
isn't this Mister GrayY
NO. says i. it is Smth-John Smith : an he
bows an he goes away.
Hadn't gone on much further, confused by
the noise an whir,
VII IN NJ steps the other Teller, him I'm
lookin fur.
We'll. we'll f it isn't Mr.. Smith! Why, when
did you Gomez says he.
An h nts, while he g shalSin' my hand,
he is kinder the start O. me.
what says he in a injured tone you
haven't forgotten Brown!
Don YOU remember a few years back the
summer tibet | came down
To see my uncle? Yes, old Gahe Brown! II
g strange, now | declaren
An, when he tells me he s kin to Brown
says to him, put 1t there!
putty considerable knowledge, too. of all
the folks he showed:
Fust have been down as he said. I guess, or
else he d never have knowed.
Asked me If it was settled yet whom the rail
road was comm through
An If what he had heard about the mills
bein' shet was true.
EVEN went so far rs to put his arm in mine,
I'll be bound
An tell me thet he was glad we'd met fur he
could show me around.
WIZ so many bunko sharps about he said
N an oily tone,
1t "'"en't soto Eur a man like me to take in
the town alone,
$50 all tibet was wuth a lookin at we took
in him an me.
An at last he said there was somethin' tibet
Sh"uldn { neglect to see;
The we both went up to little dark room
where game was bein' PLAYED
At VII CHI he said If Teller knew how a heap
o cash could be made.
AN then he began playln', an soon he got
me- too,
An | lost three hundred dollars, the very
fnst thing | knew;
An, while set there thinkin' an kinder
filled with doubt
Hooked around to find him an noticed thet
he d skipped out.
''Took in? Well, yes, I guess so. Looks
mighty much that way.
An the thing thatU stump me when / Qit
home is what in thunder I'll saw
I've been played fur regular greeny, an
tibet S why feel so blue.
An me deputy sheriff of Wayback County,
tool"
Malcolm Douglas, in Sam.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13
AN INTERESTING CHAMBER.
The Room in the State Department Where
All Treaties Are Signed.

On the main floor of the State Depart
ment is the Secretary's room. Opening
out of this on the east side is a small
anteroom, which leads into one of the
most interesting chambers in the de-
partment. 1t is known as the diplo-
attic reception room, and in here are
received the various ministers who
come to see the Secretary on official
business, and where all treaties and
conventions are signed. 1t is room
some siXty-five feet long by twenty feet
wide, lighted by six long windows,
from which fine view may be obtained
of the Potomac. The ceiling is divided
into arches, the centers of which are
painted light gray color, with broad
borders at each end. The floor is
of wood, highly polished and vanished,
two large Turkish rugs of red body
with blue borders nearly covering the
entire surface. The general tone of
the room is subdued and harmonious,
in keeping with the grave diplomats
who meet there to discuss weighty
questions. The windows are shaded
by white lace curtains and hangings of
grayish blue Turkish material, with
threads of gold running through the
fabric, and lambrequins to match. At
both ends of the room are long ebony
tables, covered with brown felt, around
which are low ebony arm-chairs, up
holstered to match the curtains. Two
sofas are against the wall, facing the
table, and between them is a long mir
ror in an ebony frame. Opposite the
mirror is a low, elongated settee; which
stands on the bare boards. At each
end of the room is an ebony fireplace.
Over the tables are acknowledgement
nickel and brass chandeliers with
twelve lights, and in the center a
heavier one with eighteen burners.
On the walls are portraits in oil Of
Webster, Lord Ashburton, Washburn,
Fish, Frelinghuysen, Evarts, Jefferson,
Seward Blaine, and Washington
Chicago Times.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13
FOR THE LADIES.
Things Which Every Woman Is Anxious
to Know.

Things Which Every Woman Is Anxious
to Know.
Jeweled ornaments are much worn
in the hair.
Little chased gold balls are favorite
for earrings.
Breakfast caps are out in shapes and
are very fashionable.
In silver tableware the forms for the
most part are low.
"Mikado ware" includes bright-reu
tea sets in japanese china.
Hearth rugs for families in mourn.
ing are of white and gray fur com.
bined very oddly.
Fur dog-collars are fastened with
bows and ends of ribbon correspond
ing with the dress.
Jeweled pendants continue fashion.
able, and are set so as to do duty for a
number of ornaments.
Some of the French velvet bonnets
which are bordered with fur have the
strings edged with fur
The newest albums for cabinet pict.
ures are of solid plush and without
ornamentation or decoration.
Ivory colored velvet mantles trimmed
with white fox fur and lined with pink
satin are the latest styles in evening
wraps.
Rings in which the gems are sci
around the finger find favor with many
ladies. So do the slender wire rings
with one small but very fine gem.
The long fur boa, which wears age
was in fashion, is revived. 1t is wound
around the throat, and then one end is
thrown over the shoulder.
A new use for the bonnet pins and
scarf pins is fastening down the end:
of a colored silk handkerchief, worn
close up about the neck and tucked
under the cloak for warmth.
For the toilet are innumerable arti
Giles in both sterling silver and silver
plate. The newest of these are finished
in repousse or old English chasing
though there are some exceedingly
beautiful specimens of enamel anC
etching.-N. Y. World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13
A GREAT INDUSTRY.


The report of the United States Geo
logical Survey shows that the mining
industries of the United States are as
suming giant proportions, Not less
than $500, 900, 900 is invested in mining
enterprises as productive capital, and
over 100000 people are furnished en-
ployment, and the mineral product of
the United States for the year 1884 had
a value of $413. 104, $40. The follow
ing is detailed statement of these
mineral products as shown by the sta
tisties collected by the United States
Gpolouica1 Survey.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13

If manure is to be used in the or
chard it should never be fresh or such
as will quicl fcrment. That which
has been tho ,ghly composted or well
decomposed is best Wood mold, mixed
with lime and ashes, has been found
excellent, and the better the manure in
fineness of condition and freedom from
decomposing matter the less liability of
the, trees to disease.- San Francisco
Chronicle
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13

Twenty religious societies are asso-
ciated in the Brooklyn Union for
Christian work. The receipts of the
past year were S7575.70. The Union
maintains free reading-room, library
and sewing-school, and is engaged in
general charitable work. - Christian
Union.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1886-02-13

New Zealand, with a population of
about 600, 900, has debt of nearly f31,-
100000, or over $3.50 for each in
hahitant.
Wichita eagle., 1886-11-11
Cosmnnolitan Character Of BOMBAY.

The cosmopolitan character OF Bombay IS
indicated bv missionary letter: Last week
n Greenlander called. seeking work. Tive
DAYS after a man from Australia wrote lle
asking a favor. \ few weeks ago a West In
dian came to attend to repairs on my house.
Last Sunday night preached 10 a conErega-
ton in which sat. side by side. a Russian from
the Baltic. and an Armenian from the foot OF
Mount Ararat. Among my parishioneTs Ia
an Abvssinian. Turks from the DaraanelleS,
Greeks from the Adriatic, Setslee boys from
Zanzibar Norwegians and South Africans
live, do businsSS and die in this human hive
Foreign Letter.
Wichita eagle., 1886-11-11
DIR. Douglas, Gen. Grants Physician.

In flying visit to New York the other day
/ saw DR. Douglas, Gen. Grants physician.
The doctor has not fully recovered from the
great physical and mental strain imposed
upon him by his constant attention during
the whole of the last nine months Of Grants
life. The doctors hands shake still as if they
were palsied- But his general look is one of
great gain Several months ago q catarrhal
trouble resulted in his stomach becsming
poisoned with mucous that had been beyond
the power of expectOratiOn. He overcame
the difficulty by introducing rubber tube in
to his throat and the passage below. Through
this tube he would pass warm water SO as TO
cleanse oat the alimentary canal and stomach
before eating By this process he has regained
lost flesh, and to degree his lost health
Washington Latter
Wichita eagle., 1886-11-11

separating the Graphite Dust According
TO fineness-Mixing the Clay and Fore
ing the Coil-The Wooden Case and
Filling 1t.