Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-10-23
BRIGHT BITS.

A WOMAN always tells a secret to some one
because she is afraid she might die ana then
there would be no one left to keep lt.-AeT-
chant IrnUeIer.
IT is a curious fact that feas are hatohed
from eggs; curious because one would hardly
think that flea could SIT still long enough to
lay an BWrliaDt1n Free Press.
a PKRENo LoGIsT says that 'fullness under
the eye deuo,es language" When the full
ness Is causei by another mans 1st 1t de
notes very bad language, generally.-NOTriS-
t0aca Reyald.
A FUTURE PossIBILITYs Scene-Broadway
street car. Iime-One hundred years hence.
Gentlem n rising and touching his hat
Will you take this seat, madam?
Madam-Thank you, sir.-LiJs.
Not so, my child, you surely are mistaken;
Twas not an earthquake. though the house is
IT'S simply Jim Blaine and his Tariff Mania
Roaring from town TO town in Pennsylvania
-WdShtH0to7s Post.
CYRUS w FIELD has returned from his trip
abroad, and l. again busy suing people for
fabulous amounts of money in different sec
lions of the country. We understand that he
has brought suit against mis- washerwomRn
for 81 ,000, 900 for the loss of bone collar but
ton.-PUcb.
THINGS one would rather have left unsaid
-Ach Gracious lady, | hope Eat my long
Cherman iecturs on re boetlcal aspects of re
bliocene beriod d d not bore you ferry much
zis afternoon? Oh, not at all. Prof Wohlge-
muth. l don't understand German, you
know Punch
PRoFEssoR-Mr. B., can you tell me with
what faculty we could most easily dispense?
Professor-GoOd Now speak up loud;
what ID it?
student tsoberly)-The college faculty.
R0rbWrg Il drocdte.
A JOYOUS GREErING.-"Good morning
How do you doY" said Miss Birdie McGinnls
to kosciusko Murphy.
~ have been to san Antonio and have lust
got back on the train"
"You don't say so? I thought I had the
pleasure OF not seeing you for several days
past. "-7ec1S Stft&R0S.
REASONABLE DEDUCTIoN.-First Citizen
i knew all along that Jaehne would not
leave Sing Sing.
second Citizen-Why, 1t was very doubtful
but how did you know?
First CtlZen-I based my opinion on the
fact that a boodle Alderman W as never known
to leave anything .-Tid-Bsts.
DOCTOR X. is little hot tempered, and
when he got into a dispute the other day with
an acquaintance in a street car and became
very insolent, the latter exclaimed: "Mon-
S eur. you have insulted me, and you will re
ceive my seconds. And you will not have the
advantage you do with your patients, for
Will no. give you the choice of arms. "-French
Fun.
MAMIE-Now, Tommy, don't be pig
You've got my cake and yours. too. III just
run and Tell ma.
Tommy-Go on, tattletale! Ma won't dc
nothin'.
Mamie-You just bet she will when 1 tell
her.
Tommy-She won't. neither. Only this
mOrnin' she told me l always must take your
part. So, smarty!-The Rambler.
LITTLE DICK-Pap, my clothes are all worn
| out.
Pap-Cant help it, Dick; feel very poor
| Just now.
"Why don't the minister give you some
moneyH'
"whata question! He has no money tc
| spare. IN be bound"
"Well, let's move to South Africa and pre-
| tend to be heather. "-C'"dh0 World.
| CHICAGO GIRL-Ol do let me see the love
letter You got this morning. won't you?
! Omaha grill was afraid. dear, some one
would get hold of it. so burned IL.
| Burned love letterP'
so! don't suppose do not know every line
| there was in it. | read and reread it until
| the words were engPaven on my heart"
What Il goose you are! You coaldn't hand
| in your heart as evidence in "a breach of prom
| ise suit. '-O1,dhd WOri6.
EDITOR DAILY PAPER-So you would like Q
| job on the paper, hastus9
| Rastus-Yes, sab. | kinder feels dat wuC
| m ke or good journals wifi a little experience
Edtor-Qulte likely. Wen. Rastus, vel
| give YOU trial. fou can carry that ton oil
| coal ON the sidewalk up to the sixth story
| then wash down the windows and scrub the
| floor, and clean the sub-cel lar, and
| Eastus-l say, boss, reckon I'll try an git
| or job on a weekly paper fust. Gittin' out a
paper every day am too much OBJ a strain on
| er pusson what ha. nebber had no Journals
ticum 'sperencc. Deed it is.-Pacb,