The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1886-07-31
guase which she certainly never learned at

Sunday school.
what is tho matter, Trotter" I oaid
mildly, "and why have you not served din
ner,'
"Cause it amt cooked,' was the reply,
land never likely to be, with this boomin' old
tater-can of a stove. There's your ducks, and
there's your soles, and there's your apercot
tart, and / hope you like 'em" AS she
spoke she pulled out each article and
thrust it under my nose, They were admir-
ably arranged for cooking, but had no APP
pearanco Of having ever been near fire.
Possibly" suggested, "Trotter, you dom
quite understand the stove"
Maybe not, and don't want TO" retorted
our nfurlatcd domestic. "If you think you
can DO better, you're welcome to try. I've
had my whack! Id sell the drafted thing for
old iron, if had my way"
"Trottcr," 1 said with all the dignity that |
could command, this is a very expensive
stove, a most expensive stove" q didn't know
whether it was or not, but l felt it was wise
TO say So, "and is warranted to cook dinner
for fifteen persons. Ny landlord told me so,
and he is a most respectable man"
Then the landlord had better come and
cook the dinner hssclf, retorted Trottcr
took no notice of the interruption. lyon
hav0 probably been accustomed to the old
fashioned open ranges, Trotter, and Of course
you can't be expected to understand finland
all the ms and outs Of a high class affair like
this So don't distress yourself; but put on
your bonnet you had better wash your face
first, 10y the way, and Fetch pound Of ham
aud beef from the cookshop round the corner,
M 1ild and will make shift with that for
this one evening; and tomorrow / will get
Mr Jawkcr to come and explain matters TO
rs, aud then you viii get on like house on
fire.
"YOu amt likely 10 have any house on fire
with that stove, rcpid TroUtcr, shaking her
head at it maliciOusly, rs though that summed
up the measure of its iniquities. But my
calmnes, had its effect upon her, and about
O'Clock Tidd and sat down, in place of the
luxurious banquet we had anticipated, to n
plate Of ham and beef from the cook shop,
Trottcr was with difficulty diSsuadcd from
packing up her boxes and departing at once,
but finally agreed TO wait the result of the
visit of our landlord, to whom | sent press
Ing letter the same evening.
The next morning Mr.. Jawker arrived.
He was n little man with n big head, and
figure which was presumptiye evidence Of the
satisfactory performance Of the kitchen range
wherever he resided, and began to be moro
hopeful He carried under his arm an oblong
parcel done up in brown paper.
"A little difficulty with the Treasure chi"
he said carefully dcpositing his hat on the
dresser, and bcaming alectionately on the
stove through his spectaces "Ah, well, we'll
soon set that right. Finest range in London!
I've brought you the dripping pan"
"The whatp | inquired. | had heard Of
dripping pans, but hadn't the faintest idea
what they were Tidd, arrayed in a flowery
dressing gown and a magniilcently EN-
know, but it was failure. Meanwhile Mr.
Jawker had begun to unite his parcel.
"The dripping pan! why, Of course, the tin
affair that you put under the meat. Sarah
hcre'--r'which my name is Mary Ham,"
interjected Trotter)-"knows all
about it; but this dripping pan is patent,
made specially to so with the Treasure It's
q size too large for our present range, so |
don't mind making you present of it. Look
here, dodgy arrangement underneath to hold
water. Without water, and ventilator shut,
oven only bakes. With water, and ventilator
open, oven roasts. Joint done to n turn,
delicious brown gravy in it, beautiful" And
Mr. Jawkcr smacked his lips lovingly ut the
"Fincst stove in London, |
assure YOU Only wish I'll got it in my new
diggings The range there isn't a patch upon
this onc.'
"No doubt the stove is an excellent one,
Mr. Jawker, | replied But we can't get it
TO cook AT all"
Not-cook - at. all" CALCULATED Mr.
Jawker "The Treasure range not cook
cook-it'd cook-your grand
II have no desire to put 1t to that test
replied with dignity. II shall be quite con-
tent if it will cook n leg of mutton. But it
won't even burn"
"Not burnt The Treasure range not burn,
Come, that's good one. Give me a handful
Of wood and some Goals, and well soon sec if
il wont burn"
The Goals and wood were produced, and
Mr.. Jawker, turning back his shirt cuffs, pro
rcedcd to lay and light the fire. don't pro-
fraS to understand that sort of thing myself,
but it struck me that Mr. Jawker was not
expert, and | caught Trotter's
eye resting upon him with u gaze OF malig-
nant satisfaction. ! said to myself: THE fire
won't burn" and it didn't 1t smoked like
miniature volcano, but burn it wouldn't.
| really felt for Jawker. He poked and he
proldcd; he opened first one valve and then
another; then he shut them, and finally
lsnclt in front of the fire and blew till the
SHUTS fell thick rs leaves in NallombroSl"
over his face and shirt front, and he looked
like one of those black and white dogs that
run after carriages; but all without avail
Tidd with his hands in his dressing gown
pockets, began unconsciously to whistle
Cease, rude Borcas," but suddenly remem-
bcring himself, tried to change it into "A
donna o mobile" With scarcely satisfactory
effect, | caught his eye, and saw that he
had come to tho same conclusion as myself,
viz, that Jawker didn't know bit moro
how TO make the stove burn than We did
But he was far too artful TO say So
wants cleaning" he said, as he got up and
busted the knees Of his trousers with his
northumberland "Flue's choked with
soot that's what's the matter. tell you
what, I'll send you my builder, Bigsby He
knows all about the Treasure he's repaired
it lots Of times; I'll tell him to come and clean
it thoroughly, and Just start it for you. Every
thing depends on good start When you've
once madc start you'll be all right, depend
upon it Whereupon he made u start him
self, and departed.
Tidd and dined out that day. Trotter
made =, lift | believe to fry some eggs and