News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
THEY WE'RE OUT,

Hattie-Are you out with Sadie
| Brown, Carrier
Carrie Yes, we don't speak now.
H.-What is the matter?
C.-She is too set in her ways for me.
HIN what respect?
C.-Well, she won't do her hair up in
the Alikado twist and she objects to
three girls walking together la "three
little maids from school," saying it is
all foolishness and idiotic affectation.
Who could get along with such a girl
as that? ?-B0Ston Courier.
WITHOUT FEELING MEAN ABOUT IT.
81 notice, MIR. Dusenberry, that the
ladies in the Michigan University have
organized for muscular development.
How undignifed!" !"
81 don't think so, my dear. ] envy
the husbands they may get"
"Why so7"
"Because they can know that their
wives are splitting kindling wood with
out feeling mean about 1t. t.'-PhltGdeLptla
Gall.
HER HAND.
''Mr. Coldcash, | have come to ask
for the hand of your daughter"
''My daughter, sir?"
eyes; can't live without her."
'Well, sir, finish your sentence"
"Finish my sentence?"
eyes, you were about to say YOU
could not live without her income. Let
US be frank, my dear sir. - Chicago
Rambler.
WHERE TO GO.
The story is told on the Pacific coast
that Chipaman, discharged on account
of the boycott, turned to his late en-
ployer with an air of genial and imper-
sonal regret:
''Oh, yes; Ilishman ask Mclean man
send away Chinaman. That all right.
He go back to China pretty goot.
Bimeby Ilishman send Mclean man
away. Where you goa"
THE REWARD OF SYMPATHY.
Young Genius (who has had all the
talk to himself, and, as usual, all about
himself)-Well, goodbye, dear Mrs.
Meltham. 1t always does me good to
come and see you! had such head
ache when l came, and now I've quite
lost 1t.
Mrs. Meltham-Oh, it's not lost. I've
got it.-Petnch.
THE PRICE OF RAIsINs.
fHow much is these raisins wuth2"
asked farmer, as he dipped into the
box for a sample.
Give cents" said the grocer.
Give cents for how many-a
pound2"
NO, for those you've got in your
hand.n
DOTS AND DAsHEs.
PEOPLE who make it their business to
run other peoples business are engaged
in very mean business.
In answer to Jay Cooks question:
''Is life worth living2" we reply that
it all depends on the liver. Puck.
'WHAT would woman do without
her looking glass?" is asked Use an
others. You can't stick a woman as
easy as you think.
A STATEN ISLAND cookmaid being
bidden to boil the eggs three minutes,
/ by The kitchen clock, replica that it
would be impossible, as the clock was
ten minutes fast.
A TEN-YEAR-oLD Boston girl says the
Record. asked her teacher the other day
if India was our father country, just as
England was our mother country ''No,
indeed" was the answer. ''Why do
you ask that?" Nothing, only / see
it's Farther India on the map"
A FIvE-YEAR, OLD Trojan who had
fallen and cut his lip so that it was
necessary for the doctor to stitch the
wound, after bearing the pain bravely,
turned to his mother, who was making
much ado over the operation, and said
"Never mind, mamma, my moustache
will cover it."
A GIRLS heart will palpitate and her
breath come short and quick at the very
thought of getting up to recite verse
in the Sunday school concert, but she
will sit calmly up in the choir and firt
with the handsome tenor all through
the service in the face of the whole con
gregation without experiencing single
tremOr
ONLY a few weeks ago a Washington
paper printed some resolutions passed
by a colored society on the death of a
brother, who was shot on neighbor's
premises and in close proximity to the
chicken coop. The resolutions in print
said he had gone to that land where
chickens, sorrow, pain and death are
felt and feared no more" The next
day the paper stated that Chickens"
was misprint for sickness"