Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-09-21
THEY COME HIGH.
True Story with Largo-sized Moral
for All Married Men.

Tor All mArrieu MEN,
Detroit Free Press.
elbow potent for good or evil are the
little things of this life and this world,n
moralized a gentleman whose business
takes him past the postofilce corner sew
eral times day.
Cling-g-gl
"0h, you need not ring your chestnut
bell on me. The sentiment has nutty
favor, know, but the application is en-
tirely original Most people believe that
all small things are tribes,
and there's where big error
creeps into their calculations.
'Creeps.' That's just the words l was
cropping around after to express my ap.
plication. l refer to bedbugs. They are
small things, but no trifies. They are
more expensive, weight for weight, than
first water diamondsl"
Had to buy new bedstesd and sell
the old one to secondhand dealer, eh?'i
"If that was all | wouldn't mention it,.
No, sir, one little tfamping, meddlesome
bedbug has Just cost me more than hotel
clerks headlight is worth I'll
tell you what the parasitical little
wretch did to me. The first
thing he did to me was to gailop
up and down my back and wake me up. /
made grab, or rather frenzied series
of grabs, for him, but wear perforated
undershirt, and the way he wove in ard
out through the meshes nullifed all the
grabbing was capable OF. One would
imagine that when healthy, muscular
man, weighing l60 pounds, assaults a
poor, lonely insect, an immediate and
hurried retreat would be made by the
party of the second part, but this wasn't
that kind of bug, He found an impreg-
nable position up between my
shoulders and commenced crochetipg
my undershirt as II it was fun. Twisting
my right arm over behind my ear dealt
vicious and resounding thumps as far
down my back as could reach. Then ]
retreated in disorder and nearly dislo.
Gated my left arm in making q sortie from
the opposite direction.
I" What in the world are you about?
inquired my wife, in sweet and mellow
tones that she brought with her from
Vermont, the drumming having dis.
: turbed her slumbers.
Trying TO smash (thump) an In
fernal bedbug (thump), and | CAM
(thump) reach him.
,, Three strikes, Quit shouted my wife
laughing.
Damn bedbugs and baseball and ali
other pests!' responded |, and as soon a,
commenced swearing that bug mizzl "a
as II he had been an umpire in Kansas
! City
cater my wife got through laughing
she said she would have the bed over
hauled and reduce its census the mex,
day. was not present at the investIga.
ton, but have no doubt that IL was
thorough, for when went home next day
TO dinner, there was none; wife said she
and the girl had been too busy, and /
don't think she lied about 1t. In the
backyard found several sections of dis.
couraged and disjointed bedstead. one
leg was broken, the headboard was split,
the varnish had mostly been turned
white with boiling water, and it's breath
smelt of soapsuds and tutpentine. The
springs looked as il the marquis OF
Queensberry had got mad at them, the
mattress had been 'bested' in an encoun-
ter with nail or hook; the children had
been betting each other with the pillows
until they looked as il they were moult.
Ing, and the carpet was struggling to
overthrow the alley fence.
"We've looked everywhere for that
bug and can't find him. Are you sure Won
felt cnesn proclaimed and inquired nv
wife.
"was sure felt oneS Think Of that
for question!n
well, my wife remarked that mas
. much as the bug might be hidden In the
J wall paper or IN a crack Of the floor II
might be well TO repaint and repaper the
room, and weakly consented Once the
painters ana paper hangers were inside
the house every carpet came up and for !
fortnight ! slept In the kitchen beside the
cookstoye. paid the bill this morning
1925.
!, "rhe bugS o, he escaped.n