The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1886-07-22
W.T. AND HUKORs
yrs OFrEFN.

~ 49,
And governs with majestic air q world eha
calls her own
Her Iowly oourtiers come and go with tribute
A naughty st'T-' ..thanxs' she doth bestow upos
each slave, ween,
But never yet was loves bright glow upor
her features seen
Around her lie the precious stores which
power and wealth command
Perfumes, rich spices, glittering Ores-the
stream Of gold and silver pours into hes
- tiny hand.
Were the King of that sweet Queen, we'd
Our Court should be the meadows green By
summer breezeS blown:
And many a smile and kiss I'd gfean from hen
my love, my own
Sub rosa.)
This stately goddess adore checks cash ths
And changes bits from till 4. which bilious
In Piasin's PHI and plaster store. at No. :
Texas sifHngs.
j. K. Emmett, the actor, is now his
own manager. They take many drink
together. phiG Call.
When girl changes beaus does she
renew her youth?-Bur!sBgton Free
Press. 1t depends on the age of the
new beau.
| Is IDdE the IeDSl ySllF dSkSu an
| Ohioan in front of the Kimbal House
| mo" replied courteous Colonel, sit is
| only an ice-cream cake man. atlanta
| Consultation.
| Come back and all will be forgiven
is the usual card published by 8 loafer
whose wife leaves him after wearing
herself out trying to support him.
Orleans RcGys'le.
One of the Lynn primary school teach
ers few days since asked her scholars
the question:: What is dust?" One
/ little fellow answered: please, marin,
| it is mud with the water squeezed out"
Lynn Item.
''The Chicago policeman" says the
Boston Record, ''now holds his head SO
high, through proper pride, that he is
easily mistaken for an Alderman" But
our policemen don't look that way
Chicago Tribune.
Keely, the motor man, is still on the
verge of perfecting his great invention.
| Keely has staid on the verge longer
than any man on record. A verge is
much more difficult to manage than q
bicycle, too Chicago Tribune.
Conspicuously displayed upon the
front of store in this city, Kept by
couple of good-looking marriageable
| young ladies, is q sign bearing the en-
couraging words: mo offer refused"
I-VTrgtnia City (NeU.) Enterprise.
An Oregon young woman has brought
| breach-of-promise suit against her
father because he gave his consent to
the match and then backed out The
young man got discouraged and mar
ried another woman. Hence the suit.
This strike business is assuming more
ridiculous phases every day. 1t is now
said that the inmates of an Infants
Home in New York have struck against
being brought up on the bottle. This
is reliable, if true. -Norristos0n Herald.
The New Haven Register says: 'In
article on Yale yesterday. for alum
water read alma mater" This is as
bad as the Iowa editors erratum. ''In
poem on our first page. for dirty shirt
read duty shirk. ~ Washington Post.
A Boston paper, in speaking Of Miss
Barnes presentation to the Queen in
London, says she wore "dem short
sleeves" Whether this is profanity, or
in short for democratic" or is only
"demi-short," with an put out, we can
only guess.-Lot0eH Courier.
People who pick up pamphlet with
this title: ''The Length of a Mans
Days Is to Certain Extent in His Own
Hands," thinking it a strikers eight
hour manifesto or Knights of Labor
document, find it is only patent-medi-
cine brochure. Springfield Homestead.
Doctor-Yes, madam, think you are
overworked. Patient-But do look at
my tongue, doctor. and tell me why it
ooks so badly. Doctor-Oh, that's the
esult of overwork. Keep perfectly
quiet and it will look better.-Iroy
Times.
| Suitor-'Sir, you are undoubtedly
aware of the object of my visit" Father
IL believe you desire to make my
daughter happy. Do you really mean
it?" -"Unquestionably." Father
-"Well, don't marry her, then" y
FIiegende BLGetter.
'Der's trubble in de church. Do vale
OBJ de temple am rent to twain; de con-
gregation am done gone busted, and
dar was no preachin' dis mawnin',"
was the picturesque description Of
church troubles in an African church by
an aged member.
The wages of stone-cutters in a por-
ton of Europe have been recently adj
vanced to 80 cents day. AS soon as
one OF them gets over here, however,
and goes to work at $3.50 a day, he
strikes for $3.50, and heads a dynamite
riot if he doesn't get 1t.
and sprang into hack. what hotel
do you wish to go toP' asked the driver.
81 am an Irishman and have just ar
rived in this country, and -" "Ah,
l see! You want me to take you to the
! polls "-ArkGHsds0 TrdUeter.
The title of the recent Greek play
bothered those who were not up in the
dead language. A pretty young miss
was overheard telling a friend in .
street-car that 1.-THE performance by the
, college boys of The Anarchists? was
! truly lovely. ~ Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Rev. j. II. Cason, Graham, Tex.
! said: II am thinking of going North
to beg some money TO aid in building
, two Baptist churches in Texas. What
would you adviser" We advise him to
take with him enough to pay his exc
, penses back. = Richmond Religious
Herald.
Compensation: "Ullo. Jonesi You
in PARISH" Eyes; I've just run over for
holiday where's your wifeP"
Couldn't come, poor dear. Had to
stop at home on account of the baby?'
: 'sWhy, your holiday will be half spoiled"
''Yes. Mean to stay twice as long to
make up" Punch.
Hostess Sunday morning in Wash
ngton)-'1s there any particular min
| lister you would ike 10 near preach,
Penelope?'' Penelope Visiting from
Boston, -''Well, if you don't mind,
auntie, 1 think would like to hear one
of the foreign Ministers. / am quite
proficient in languages, you know
HGrper's Bazaar.
There is a sad state of affairs In
, Russia" observed Mr. Snaggs last
night. There has been an increase of
! 800 per cent in the number of suicides
in the last ten years." what is the
/ causeP'' asked Mrs. Snaggs. at Is at
tributed largely TO pessimism. THAT
dreadful drink. Iwonder the people
don't sign the pledge. - Pitts6Erg
Chronicle.
episcopal duty in some parts Of Aus
} trelia has its humorous side" says the
f5allarat Courier. zone prelate on his
first ioIIrnau rnI1nd rras flung into deer,