The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-03-20
CIRCU INSTANCES.

Always appear 10 De. I'm q sort OF toy Oh
destiny-a foot ball of fortune Other fel.
lows do disgusting, outrageous things and
are never found out; but by Jovei ]
mean to engage boy to 20 around With
me just to have him ready t testify to my
innocence when the next storm breaks on
my devoted head. For | am tired of this
scapegoat business 1t wears on the
nerves. a the cashiers say when they start
for Canada.
just look at that awful "third-story- VIM
dow racket" / was LED into by Tommy
Virgins, which parall Zed all Philadelphia
and made it necessary for me to have a
change of air (everal of my aunts took a
change of their at tie same timel, while
Tommy enjoys himself at home Nobody
blames him. No relations cut him ont OF
their wills. o, mol 1t was all that awful
Teddy Bouncer's" fault Tommy is all
right, and | am coored up in dirty
architect office in Naw jersey drawing
COW hou'es, while he doubtless is regailing
the fellows with distorted version Of the
affair.
Now, merely to put myself straight, Pll
just tell you the fact, rs they truly oc-
Cured Then | fancy you will agree with
NC tAttlb til 40 UttNt tut ilItil
1t was a. IN. We had left poker party
at Harry Coles, whore We hal hal jd't a
royal old time. was dead brole-always
am after thess pleasant little entert9in-
ments-but very jolly, and Tommy Wig
gins agreed to see me home. He was very
fable till he reached his door when he
cody sail he'd Ak me IN only his mother
wouldn't stand it, For you are not quite
the thing" he added.
Not quite the thing. What was he, Ia
like to know!
90 that's all right for yon but where dc
l come inr ! inquired "Gou know
haven't a cent ana have lost my latchkey.
You don't mean TO leave ne like this
Cant help it he replied with drunken
gravity, "mother's put her foot down.
swell. suppose you lend me 81 H. .uS-
gested; "that'll make it iu,t an eval So
owe you, AMI | can set room some where.
"Don't want to iupk, it evan 50, lie
mutterei; "S23 - IS tad enough
40, never mint, don't worry about me, y
l sail, thinking t, sting him with LITTLE
| COLI sarcasm. "pon'J fret can 20 home
| and climb in the thir story win low
Yes | would he retorteI, utterly miss.
ing the point. IF You can't work that try
| the co l-hol-.
Then IA voice. plrintve female voice.
| p.pei out, "r5umy!'
Tommy ami ta,tcnn ourselves agains;
the house lik one man. hut IN VAN
Ths voice resumed; - on walk yourself
IN directly. Isee you; you need not try Il
| hide
Yes. gigsled Tommy "Sae secs me and
| calls too-nigE. TeiIy." And { e ~neakec
into the hous', ami lett me-left me, t
scion of the Oldest family in Philadelphia
| TO get mysel. me any way / could Il wa.
/ beastly shame for my AuntY Tabby say.
that at the time my granilather was al
| honoreI guc.t in the Wnito Il ,uss Tommy.
was tinker. Tao fellow Should have es
tcemed it On honor t, assist M.
However, there | was with the hest bloot
| in America going rounl like mill wheel il
my head and making tie street dance jig
| was not tight--no, III ieaI; loose describe.
! my condition. particularly about tue knees
| As | fell easily and naturally from one su
/ perb pose pas lqne to another on my was
| down the street | seemed to b. double OF
! triple jonted-a re. ullr India rubber man
After an arduous stFnggls reached my
| own door and sunk flown on the step, I,
think over the situation "Now,' said
"ths strongest point in my favor Il am al
ways logical after poker partie) is that
am tue only lodSer IN this Old barracks of &
day-SchoL Consequently am not liaLl.
| u observations or interruptions even from
a janitor. hut Their, is stronger on,
against ms--namely; my legs, winch retu,e
10 obsy my will. Now having two le-
and one brain, and Twin; in country
where the majority rule, it will certainly
be awkward If my brain says: III climI
up t. my window AMI my legs reply
We prefer tlouollng up on the sidewalk
Here my brilliant argument was rudely
| interrupted by two horrii little balatei
"mucksrs' sidliny up an! yelling. 90! looh
at the drunken dnie, taking hi, se,tay I
Think of the de.radati1ni A Bounce
jeerei at by the rabbie Tne blood OF m,
ancestors boiled. My impulse was ~ vii.
out the insult in blood their blood NJ,
legs seconde ma nobly; they left bowling;
TINS little encounter bracel me up ;,
thoroughly that ty a little exarton | 90
arouni the corner INTO the alley that run
behind the house on Cae tnut street TAX
/ ing a seat on tue curLstone | contem
| plated the row of neat brick hou eS On,
of them was my lie ,tinatioa. The delicat,
question OF "WuichP arose, ani affair:
thickenel up again
knew my house had an extension on til.
first floor AMI n conservatory on the second
from which | knew | cnull easily step int,
my window But so had all tn. rest. How
on earth was l to picl ont mine' a severe
mental strug gle inclin I'd m 70 think it tn,
sixth from the corner Of Tw ,ntleth street Ac
cordingly, taking tho lamp-post as start
ing-point, | came down til, alley counting
cpnvlncei that, IN spite OF my fathers in
curious reflections, hal brain aHd large
one, and arrived at the sixth house in &
state of great satisfaction. Looking CAREFUL,
around, | put an ash barrel again t tn
fence, made a break for it, and fuuni m,
sell in the yard, with rather more ashes o,
my dress-suit than usually wore but yer,
happy.
$50 much for Buckingham | cried, ant
commenced to climb up the extension
Now, usually gymnastics are not at al
in my line; but that night | developed
suppene'S, a sort Of capacity for hanging
on to nothing, that inclined me strongl,
to the Darwinian theory. | felt sur,
that in some not very remote period
| had an old grandfather who got his meal
by shining up COcoannt-treeS. NAthin,
else coull explain tue way 1 got up tina
water pipe to the extension ROOF Ono
| there, | made short work Of the conServa
tory by simply kicking out the glass an,
putting my feet in the frames 1t wa,
sort of "climbin' .up-ie-g oldens stairs &C
that raised my spirit, to concert pitch. Tn
sharp tingling OF the broken panes on tn
pavement below failed to daunt me and
reached the roof in glow. Leaning again,
the wall | surveyed tie sleeping city iron
my proud eminence. All was quiet an,
peaceful had not been observed. So ia
so good
Blood will tell" l soliloous,l. "Conl
any one but Bcuncer have nc iev.d thi
feati Could Tommy WIsginsi Hy'r lady
mol Poor Tommy, | pity him. At thi
very minute his mother Is probably sittin
on the foot of his bod giving it to him, Will
/ stand here free a, bird, raj ell by m
efforts to a hight few young men attain.
Slowly the moon sailed across the sky
! 81.