New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1886-10-20
TEUOLORED MAN.

TnE OoLoRED MAN.
His Passisssts Aasfatlea for the WstsrneIea,
snl,Hs Ways Of Securing the Fruit.
Asthe 'possum is the neFo's favor
its bird. so IS the watermelon his ia
vorite vegetable It is to him the Meo.
ca 81 ,epicurean philosophy and he re-
turns jo'it each year with undimmed
rapture Its glossy green holds his
eye captive and its carmine intestines
and black studs magnetic not only
the. obese lips that are his glory, but
| carry in their victor train, cuspid bis
cuspld, molar, and incisor. The cry
OF; watermelon! Watermelon" can
arouse HIM from the deepest slumbar.
Sugar-cane may tempt in its season,
the peanut draw on his hoard OF
wealth ait times, but his all-absorbinR
passion, is for the watermelon. He
dreams OF it all the year, and when
the harvest-tlme draws near he will
even work to win 1t. Can self-sacri-
ice 60 further than that?
1n,the matter of Sambo VS.. water
! melon the latter might as we'll plead
| non vult contendere at once, for Sam
DO is an eater from Eaterville county
! way back. He can put himself out
side OF a forty pound melon in half as
| many minutes and leave nothing but
q very thin green shell as a relic OF The
battle
| 1t is fun to watch him when the first
melons OF the season arrive-at river
towns especially, where the fruit is
brought by boat. He can scent the
coming vessel afar of, and is the first
at the landing to greet the captain
With all the honors. How his eyes
( gllsten as he sees the green beauties
/ in the vessels hold! His lips work
/ convulsively, his voice is husky with
suppressed emotion. Now comes the
| dicker.
"Cap, wha' yo' gwineter gimme to
help unload dem millyuns?"
Ten cents an hour"
"Golly, only er dime to tote all desc
we're miliyuns?"
No answer.
AWell, l specs I mout as we'll do
hit. amt gwinter be very busy dish
mawnin' " for a brilliant idea has
struck him, and down into the hold he
goes. He has carried out twenty-five
fine fellows, and carefully placed them
Id the appointed corner. Watch HIM
now: He is slowly coming up the
plank with magnificent melon in his
arms. Isn't it a beauty. l. must
weigh over fifty pounds. As he steps
upon the warf his foot slips, and down
goes the melon. 1t splits half in two.
The wrath OF the Captain is extreme,
as he shouts to luckless Sambo WHO'S
gazing in impossible contrition at the
fallen luxury: "You black, blank
pot-liquor niger, I've good mind to
break your blank head, blank, blank
you. Now git. You kin take that
melon, and don't let me ketch you
around here again." Negro and mel
on disappear behind a pile of shingles.
Now Sambo would not exchange with
the King on his throne. He cuts of
great long slices and runs them
through his lips as if he we're playing
upon the mouth organ. He stops not
for seeds; life is too short for
that. l little while sufices. It
is all gone. The tapping OF
the waves against the docks is like
Eolian music to his ears. A vagrant
dog snuffs at HIM curiously; he merely
remarks, "G way f'om DER" but does
not move. His eyes gradually close,
and soon we'll authenticated snoring
tells that he is in the land of dreams.
The melon OF his heart is not the
boughten melon, however, nor yet the
one that is given to him. It is the
melon that has not yet been plucked
from the vine. So he proceeds to gath,
or his share Of it in. He selects about
10 to IL p. m. as the tlme and gener.
ally goes alone. He cautiously skirts
the field first, to see if any one is in
the skirmishing line. Finding no pick
cts out in the shape OF specimens Of
the canine race he lightly chambers
over the fence and is in the Garden of
Eden. He can tell the ripe from, the
unripe with an almost certainty Of
touch. If he does make q mistake he
cares nothing for it. There is nothing
small about Sambo, and to obtain
one perfect one he will break twenty
others without pang. Sambo rare
ly eats the melon, in the field
where he obtains it. He. gen.
orally retires and devours it along the
roadside, "to hab de law, on his
side," as he sagely remarks. He rare
ly takes melon home. Cause why?
He amt 'gwine ter cou age de chill
len in the stealen'" He. is very
thoughtful in his ,paternal and family
relations. AS he very truly remarks:
'Ef de ole 'oman want one, she knows
whar ter git hit.
Somewhere IN the white sand by the
solemn sea there grows a melon called
the pinemelon. It is harder than the
way of the transgressor and unfit for
any purpose that know of. A friend
of mine who keeps a place where the
worm that never dieth is given a To-
cal habit ation and a, name had one
given unto him: and he placed it at
his front door. TWAS about q month
before the most adventurous melon
could possibly hope to get ripe. OF