The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-03-31

II 'spose you don't remember me"
said man in the park as he came
up and grssped a reporter by the
hand. The voice was family famil-
lar and the speaker, who was decent-
ly dressed. though evidently not par
tieular about harmonious colOrs or
perfect fit, had slouchy movement
that indefinitely recalled some per-
son he had met. the man smiled
and drawied out, Il thought you
wouldn't know me; don't you re
member couple of winters ago
when you'd be comm out OF that
printin Office over there, how you
used to stop me and 'buz me about
. what you called the noble army Of
tramps? ? / don't forget you sir, for
when you'd get through talkln you'd
put up for coffee and cakes, and
more than once for lodgin'. I'd be
, real glad if you'd go and have
schooner or cigar or suthin' with me.
I'm fixed said he, pulling out
J handful of coin and bills, ''and would
IKE 10 set EN- up.
The reporter declined, but upon
calling to mind the emsciatsd, dl-
lapidated tramp he had once known
was forced to inquire how so mark
ed a change of condition had come
about.
"Well, said he, if you won't give
it away Ill tell you-though don't
care if you do, for / am going west
on the same lay. For the past two
years | have been working the fam
lily gatherings-those folks you
know, who advertise for everybody
of their name to meet a. some one
place TO chin about themselves.
i You see, one day last summer
was killing time reading newspa-
per l found, when | run across one
of these meetings. Well, it must
have been-must have been what IS
it that gives them poets a steer p
"Inspiration p suggested the re-
porter.
Eyes that's it, it must have been
that for all of sudden something
said: That's the racket tor you, my
boy, go make believe you are one OF
the gangp You see, before gOt way
down where | was when you trst
saw me | used to 'supe' around
theatres that made me think how
easy ii would be for one of them ac.
tors to put up such job. Well,the
first lot | tackled vas on big farm
up the North river. | got piece OF
blue pencil, made an anchor on my
wrist, and put their name under 1t,
SO as to look like India ink, you
know. | had on a sailor'sblue Ham
mel shirt when | went on the
grounds. There | told them | bad
always followed the sea, and had
hard luck; had read about the
meetin and come to see if | knew
anybody of my name.
"Well, they're always Jolly and
free at these places so they asked
me to rest myself, and raised me
some better clothes than | had on:
after that we had some bully grub.
walked around and answered
questions as well as l could. Now
and then, when no one was lOokln'
some good old maid would come up,
unlock her satchel. and slip dol
lar or two in NV hand.
I've been goin' from one place to
another, summer and fall, ever since.
| keep the run of 'em by the papers
and what | hear around, and i get
plenty Of good duds and lots of
cash. | play tho sailor dodge most
always. Sometimes | fix up, but 1t
isn't good way, for they expect
you too chin to much.
Say, if ever you go on this rack
ct let me give you the straight UP,
don't be fresh, don't talk more'n you
can help; let them do the chinnin.
| made mistake that way where L
was last week. | was gettln along
fifst-rate been there two days. 1T
lunch under the trees the last after
noon an old lady squinted at me
through her specs for long while,
and then said 1 put her in mind OF
Ike, who went west some years ago
10 see some cousins who were not
known out this way.-Well, L was
fool enough to say | belonged to the
western branch, as they called 1t,
and remembered Ike That settled
it; they all soured on me at once,
and | found out that the western
blocks had got Ike drinking and
gambiin', and that branch of the
family was looked at as n. G. So,
| didn't get a rake that time.
Another thing; don't takein any
folks with long, highfalutin' names,
with de or van to 'em they general
ly have their families down fine and
you'll get left sure better GO Tor the
Smiths, Thompsons or Browns.
One time down east, though,
struck a swell crowd and got a good
stake when | though I'd no show at
all. A big chap with diamond
studs saw me and asked me what l
was doin there gave him
ghost story about looking for my
relations. And I'm blamed if he
didn't shake hands with me and
said he'd help me look 'em up.
Then he took me little to one side
and asked me l. I'd do him favor?
He said he'd left Boston without
sending an important telegram,
didn't like to leave the party. would
| oblige him by goin' to Boston,
seDdin' the telegram, and waiIin'
for an answer? Wait, said he, If
ii takes you all day He handed
me a twenty-dollar bill and a rail-
road ticket. Well. | did the errand,
waited a good while, no answer
came. and then | tumbled TO it -
Yes, sir, Just as you say. was paid
like the organ-grinders, to go away,
But don't you see, even that beats
getting bounced from a free-lunch
counter, like in old times, eh?
But come, and here the tramp
so earnestly urged the acceptance Of
the hospitable schooner, " that the
reporter had to compromise on cali
i 4