davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
A GRAND BURST.
The History oT thc Eccentric Ou well a
Stannard'~ Corners.

the History ot tho Eccentric Oil Well at
Stanuerd'S CORNERS.
The ccccntriciticS of oil wells arr
numerous. said former operator i'm
the petroleum regions, but if there
ever was a funnicr oil well than the one
they put down at Stannard's Corners.
in what was the Wellsvillc territory,
then never heard oft The people of
Stannard'S Corners got the oil fever
bad, and made up their minds that if
there was oil lurking around anywhere
N the bowels of the earth the lurking
place was straight down under Stan
nardS Corners. 80 they hustled some
money together amongst EN-. and
started the drill to tap the lake of
grease that was rolling and tossing
down among the subterranean rocks
The whole town fifty men, women
and children, all told hung around
that drill every day. and after two or
throc weeks the tools tapped vein of
gas. The town went wild over this
news, and performed regular green
corn dance around the well The
drillcr thought he'd wait for later de-
vclopmcnts, SO he drew his tools aud
drove a big wooden plug in the casing
Then he bored hole i'm the plug and
put in pipe to carry oil the gas But
the plug wOuldn I Stay put, the gas hav-
ing strong head. So the people rot
three or four dry-gouds boxes, filled
thom full of stones, and piled them one
ON top of the other ON the plug
when bed time came that night the
people left the well and went homo.
They all got up bright and early and
took their positions ut the well again.
Tho boxes of stones were then all right,
and tho people felt that they had the
oil-wcll fastened rs tight as a stick i'm
wise While they were all discussing
about what amount of oil she would
flow as Soou rs the real sand was
tapped there came sound as of bat
tie close by The store boxes shot up
ward and onward. There was shower
OF stones and splmtcrs around the
town for about ten minutes, and the
people took To the woods That's all
there was To the oil well. They went
To work again, and put the drill down
SO far that IL seemed some Chinaman
must surely grab it and pull it into his
back yard, but they never got another
smell of gas nor any more sign of oil
than if they had bored into the walls of
the Astor House. That one grand
burst of imprisoned gas exhausted the
whole business, and the Stannard's
Corners Oil-wcll passes into oil-rcgion
history as about the only one that ever
went dry without there being "a drop of
oil IN il TO 90 dry. ~ u SIM
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
HUMOROUS.

The world moves. IL probably
finds IT cheaper TO move than to pay
rent. Boston Transcript
Papa, baseball players ought TO
be good skaters" p" "Why do you think
so Charliep' Because they strike out
so easily. - Phiiadeiphia CGH
New Water Works, saws black
head line in an exchange. New cider
works but we didn't know that new
water acted similarly NorristoVn
Hcruid.
An exchange asks What is hos
tile furnitureP Don't know unless it
is armed chairs. - EUdnSUiUe Argus.
A gold-plated harness comes pretty
near being hoss style furniture. .-MarG-
hOH IndcpeHdeHt.
IDS there any danger OF the boa
constructor biting me?" asked lady
visitor at the Geological Garden Not
the least, marin, cried the Snowman;
che never bites ne swallows his wittles
whole. N y. Examiner
Customer Gn restauranO-W Waiter.
this chicken soup has feathers i'm IT,
Waiter Yes, san If yo' want soup
made outcn chickens dot am old 'nough
TO be bald, sab, yo' III have TO 90 to
some Odder establishment ~ y. SIM.
with population Of about 3OO,-
600, 900, China, has not single insane
asylum, says an exchange Exactly;
but. my dear brother, you should re-
member that China hasn't single
book agent either Ne,0m0B IHdc-
ptudeHf
The new servant you are sure
Mr. Blowton is not at homer "Well.
! ought TO be lie told me 80 when +
tDOk your card up, and said il you would
call some time when he was out he
would be- glad 20 see you Ptiia{eL-
Dtia Press.
Mrs. Homespun Our John is the
greatest fellow to put of You ever
saw Mrs Blank "He procrastinatos.
chP Mrs H-"Oh, dear. no: I don g.
think john would do anything so bad
as that lie only puts everything of.
That the worst ! ever heard anybody
say about him. '- B0stOu TrnRscriDk
Amedical authority says Persons
have been bitten by mad dogs and
have not gone mad Then the dogs
couldn have hurt them very badly.
The man who is not made mad by be-
ing bitten by a dog ought to De an
angel. lie has too good % temper for
this wicked world THE Jiidgc
Seeking Biblical Information.
I Bobby MA, didn't Mcthusclah have
more'n one name?' Ma (reading)-
"Onlv one. Of course Now don't
bother me any more. Bobby (after %
/ long pause) Ma, can ask you one
more question:" Ma-"Yes, yes. "
Bobby WAS Methuselah his first pr
| last nameP'-HaTper's Bqsgr.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
DAMARALAND.
Country Whose AutiscptlC Clnnat,
ucHls serious wounds.

Country Whose Autiscptlc climate
ucpls SERIOUS wounds.
One of the most curious results Of
my observations i, that the climate of
Damaralmd possesses what we might
call an antiscptic character for several
mouths of every year. The quality is
an attendant of the long annual
drought Every living thing suffers
during that period of the excessive
heat and much comfort is impossible.
even IN the shade, while. iu places cN-
posed To- the warm winds. the thor
momctor has risen To one hundred and
Wcnty-uinc degrees; and the sand. un.
moistCnCd FOR six months, becomes So
hot that | have seen cggs hardened i'm
II. This arid heat is opposed To- the
propagation of tCrmcnt, for it dries up
every thing that is exposed to the
wind before IL has time to sour No
manifestations of tuberculosis are
known. Wounds of every kind heal
remarkably quickly and well, without
enough suppurutiun taking place to
make the handugcs stick The manner
mn which large. neglected wounds heal
OF themselves would form AN interest
ing study Tor a professional SURGEON. |
observed ease of Ncrcro whose
right lower arm had been shattered i'm
battle 10y a muskct-hal The healing
process had worked itself out in such a
way that the whole lower arm with all
its muscles hal become withcrcd and
useless Nhllc the uppcr-arm bone was
whole and covered at its lower end
only with brown skin. All the muscles
and ligamcnts of tho clbow-iomt had
vanished, while the shouldcr-musclcs
remained, 50 that the unpleasant spec.
Aclc was presented of the man appear
ing TO gcsticulatc with his bones. 4
woman lived at our station whose fccr
had been barbarously cut OH i'm some
war several years before. so that her
captors might more easily get on the
iron ornament which the Hcrcro wom-
en- wear ON their ankles. Although the
woman had to lie helpless for a long
Time, her wounds eventually healed up,
aud now She has been hopping around
ON her knees for thirty years &c. IT,
BHtfRcr, R POpWiar Science H0nthiy.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
a WITNESS POWER.
Seed of tho Onu, in the Nariou. Courts Of
Justice.


| would abolish all oaths of Office, or
"promissory' oath-. The only value
of these, as it seems to me, lies in their
setting forth the nature and the duties
OF the Office undertaken, and thus inn
pressing these ON the mind Of the per
son undertaking IT, But this end
would equally bee attained by dcclar-
alton, while the failure To discharge
these duties Is now guarded against by
ample powers of dismissal There is,
IN short, but one class of oaths which
would retain namely, those taken in
courts of Justice or i'm those legal pro-
ccsses which are connected with such
courts allidayits, sworn nterroga-
tories and the like. And | would do
80 because court of justice is the one
ana only place know OF where pow
cr beyond all legal restraint, or at least
beyond all immediate legal restraint or
prevention, still remains, and therefore
stll needs all the checks upon the cX-
crcisc that we can devise. No barbar-
IAN warrior with his foe at his feet, no
baron of the middle ages, with dun
gcom keep and right of pit and gallows,
ever POSSESSED more tremendous power
lhan that which is nowadays possessed
10y the witness or the iurymrn i'm u court
of law. a word from his mouth NAV
consign an innocent man to the gibbct
or to lifelong imprisonment; may
strip him in "a moment of all his pos
sessions or blast him with a social out
lawry az terrible as the terrors of the
communication of old Against such
a power as this we do well still TO take
all the security that an oath can give
us. For this reason. and for this alone.
would J, while abolishing all, or nearly
all, other Oaths, retain this only IL is
the only one which seems 10 me to
completely fulfill the conditions which
make oath-taking cNpcdicnt or even
morally right contemporary RcUtc,O.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

There are one hundred and 6ity
papers and magazines edited hv col
orrd mon published in this country -
y. y NAL
The report that Anna Dickinson il
wrctchcdly poor is denied. A friend
who saw her recently SAYS that she was
happy aud had lots of money. w.
Ciic0GO JOWrHdl
In England last year 1907 new
books were published. or these the
largest portion-636 volumes were re-
ligiouS. There We're also brought out
|, 333 new editions
Miss Catharine Wolfe, the wealth.
est Spinstcr in the country, has Sl5,-
100000 Curious that Cathariue. with
50 much capital, hasn't captured a
lamb-like mate yet.-N y. Tribune.
Mason Evans. the Tennessee "wild
man of the mountains who has been
living in II cave in the Chillowee mount
aims for twenty-five years, was caught
recently and put in n lunatic asylum.
1t has just been discovered that
James Pebbles, who recently died at
Oxford, n, IL, at the age of one hun
drcd and four years, was n soldier of
the Revolution and fought at Bunker
fllll' - DoHtoH JOWfWNf.
The richest mon i'm Russia are two
Swiss brothers named Noble. They
bought up immense tracts of oil lands
and now control moro petroleum than
the Standard Oil Company. There is
no way of computing their wealth,
which has been estimated as high rs
| 800, 600. 900.
MIR John w. Mackuy's grandson,
| called the "Nomg Prince , olonna,N
was christcned i'm grand style at cost
! of six hundred dollars, which, SAYS the
New York WOrid, is said to be more
than the child's father receives in "a
year for serving rs an officer i'm the
Italian army
A man must bc very poor i'm these
days not TO he able to own something
valuable in the way of library. An
English firm proposes TO make literature
cheaper than ever by printing series
of standard English and American
works To be sold at the low price of
three pence volume. Tho books
.. will he well bound and printed ~ chr
rent
Mrs Lily Macallister Laughton,
Regent of the Mount Vernon Associa-
tiOn, Is asserted TO have ''thc smallest
and most perfectly formed foot in
America. She once gaYc one of her
slippers to a charitable fair where il
was rnlllcd for The luckily number
was secured by Bishop Pottcr's son
Frank, who used his prize as n watch
case Chicdgo T'ribHHc.
Three Senators have only three
legs between them one apiece They
are Butler and Hampton, of South
Carolina, and Berry, Of Arkansas.
Butler lost his right leg at the battle Of
Brandy Station, on the 9th of June,
1868. Berry lost his at the battle OF
Corinth, Miss, October f. 1862. Hamp-
ton, after riding gallantly through tho
war without serious injury. lost his by
a fall from his horse. ~ Y Post.
NJ. Paul Gibier. who has continued
his studies of hydrophobia In the
laboratory OF Koch. writes to- the
French Academy OF Medicine that he
has been absolutely unable TO obtain q
rabid dog in Berlin, and that the ply
sicians in the Imperial Veterinary
School in that city state that they have
not seen rabid dog for more than
three years. NJ. Gibier attributes this
condition of affairs To the fact that i'm
Berlin all dogs are muzzfed.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
a LITTLE LOVE STORY.

Whom she was flvC. this love OF mur.
! sent tp hUc "A valentino
\ tral and fair lacc-papcr sheet.
which bOrv the legend short aud sweet
With golden hair aud ewes of hluc.
The prcttCSt girl know b. Nout'
She liked the poem. and. T. show a.
She kissed the hlushiug little poet.
AZ nfteeu. this Scar love of mine
sent another valentine
\ CaSkCt whose silk covered Nf
\ nest of dainty houbOns hid.
Where lay card an 20 repeat
The hard worked line: Sweets to the Sweet D..
And her gratitude could SEQ
When she gave equal shares To- me.
To twCuty grown, this love of mine,
sent her one more valentine
\ box whose cushioned surface might
Throw out "A Jewels starry light
mis- dear 10 YOU, and YOU Co me, A"
\ scrap OF paper read; aud she
To thank mo for the sparkling thing
Gave me the hand that wore the ring
Ruth lfrW
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
REAL AGONY
Hlor Zen. Perlcy Poore Describes some
scenes at His Wedding

AUof feni ferlrN FuOrc Describes sufur
scenes at sis Wedding.
Major Ben PcrcIy POoro's wedding
was part of % quadruplc affair. his
brides sister and both of her Two
brothers were ail married on the same
day, and The Major fathcr-in-law thus
had his home dcp0pulatcd 800 ono
hymeueal stroke. POOro saws that in
his own case hc was never quit. ccr-
tain That hc was married, there was .o
much confusion during the ceremony.
lie had passed the preceding night bon
Washington. and he and hi- fricudy
had not intcn dcd to retire at alI. "aud
so, tbe Major says. when I reached
Che church and stood up TO bc married
I hardly realized what was going ON
i was haunted by two awful thoughts
] was afraid chat where there were so
many brides ] might somehow be mar
riod to Che wrong woman; and then I
noticed that / was standing right over
big open register in the floor. and /
was desperately afraid that when +
took out the ring / might lose my grip
and drop it dove that register --Bos-
tOH Budgcf
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
CUPID's FRANKS
The Pretty aud Encouraging Romance Of
Coal stove.

Coal stove.
one day last fall, after talking until
Ibis throat was sore, Detroit stove
dealer succeeded in selling widow "a
coal stove, but it was with the proviso
that If every thing didn't work satis-
iaclorily hr WAS 30 make it, Two days
after delivering the stove hc rot his
first call. a boy entered the store and
said
Mrs wants you 10 come up
md iiS that stowe The house Is full of
-mpkp
A man was sent up and he found
the trouble tO bc with the chimney
Only three on four DAYS had passed
WHOM The boy came in again and said
'Ihat stove iS pulling and blowing
and soaring the widow To- death She
wants the same man 10 come up again
He was sent and 10 was discovp. I'd
that She didn't know how tO arrange the
hampers and drafts Every thing
seemed 90 run we'll for 70 week. and
then 'hr boE walked iu tO announce.
"Sho sent me down tO have You send
that man nap again The house is fun
of coal gas
The man went up and applied the
remedy, nut inside Of three daN> the
stove got Co putting, two days after
That the fire wouldn't draw then b.
drew too much then gas c.capod
again 40 length the dealer went to-
thc house and said
Madam, you gave me thirty dollars
for thc stove. how much will YOU take
for itn"
~ wouldn't sell &c.,
But I can bc sending my man up
here every two or three days all win
tcr
You won have to I've concluded
to- marry him m order To- have some
one here Boo case of accident
And throc days ago they were quietly
and happily married DDyoU Frce
Press
Tho butcher bird a small spotted
bird resembling thc common mocking
bird, is tho foe of the domestic canaries
ont h. H....f a
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
Valuable sweeninrs.

IL b. estimated that thc value Of the
sweeping Of the floor Of % goldsmith s.
workshop become worth about ono hum
dred and fifty dollars per square foot
in ten years a tub. used tI one of
these workshops as "a receptacle for the
dust from one polishing lathe. Welded
fifty dollars in year. OF course where
such valuable prizes arc 90 Doe got from
dust tricks are not wanting to .e-
cure them lf i- said that thc work
men sometimes oil their hair. and then
run their dusty fingers through &C.. and
that the gOld-dust which then adhcrcs
10 the hair is afterwards washed out
One man carried OF i'm a few weeks.
ON the moistened tip Of his finger,
thirty dollars worth Of gold Filings -
Christian at Work
sss
MIL e-H.a.I. nar..H.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05

"A composer If music whose halo
did not TT ON that particular day said
TO friend. "To compose a piece Of
music is "a serious affair If musical
idea comes into your head, YOU won @
happen 10 have any paper handy. and
n you have any paper YOU will find it
hard work to find "a publisher. and
even If you secure u publisher be- may
fail 10 pay YOU anything for your
trouble, and besides. very few will buy
your piece, and if any one should buy
Il be- would not know how 90 play IA.
and in all probability IL he played il lac
would not like it"--N. j. Iribuac.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05

Besides the above-namCd rains there Is a
way Tran with assenger cur attache that
goes both East and West daily except sun ay.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05

Tho butcher bird. "a small spotted
bird resembling the common mocking
bird, is Che foe of the domestic canaries
on the Pacific coast. and destroys mum.
bers of thc latter
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05

Milk which stands too long makes
bitter butter. EJoh0Bgc.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-05
B. & o. R. R. TIMETABLE.
WESTWARD

Condensed timetable of passenger train,
rcSthe stations named below
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-03-19
PouLTRY-HousEs.
How Nosts Can Bc Arranged to tho Best
Advantage.


Advantage.
II is necessary in managing farm an
imals to consider their natural instincts
and conform our treatment Of them to
their propensities. In this way we can
avoid much trouble and loss. This is
most applicable to poultry. A hens in
stinct leads her to hide her nest and
keep IL hidden, just as wild birds do.
If we try to force her TO do otherwise
we have trouble at once, and she re-
fuses to lay eggs, or she deserts her
nest and lays abroad and the eggs are
lost. This is one of the reasons why
farmers find it improbable to keep
poultry, and complain that they do not
pay. If one would keep fowls with
profit q well-arranged poultry-house
should bo provided for them, with
secluded nests to which they may go
unobserved. 1t is the common express
sion that hen which hides her nest
brings out the best brood, and it is
quite true, for n brood thus reared is
always larger and stronger than one
reared where the hen is subject to
supervision. A part of the poultry
house should be set apart for the nests
and kept darkened, and the nests
should be arranged so that the hen can
reach it by the devious ways that are
instructive to her.-N. Y Times.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-03-19
THE EQUATOR.
How 1t Came Near Electing Dead-Beat
for MAYOR.

for Mayor.
The right OF suffrage is sometimes dearly
bought in n variety OF ways, but never is
this statement truer than when municipal
elections occurin the dog-days. Apatriotic
Western man had wrcstled zealously with
his constituents for reform, with the ther-
mometer at ninety in the shade, on cleo
ton day. After the cruel war was over,
and victory had crowned his efforts the
patriot entered his home triumphant ex-
hausted and starchless.
"Horatius," said his wife, twas the Re-
form party lected?"
"Y-a.a-as Malviny; an that means con
omy in the town expenditures, mopping
his brow with red bandana.
"Was folks awderly, Horatius
"Ya-a-as, Malviny," still waving the pi.
ratical handkerchief.
mo fights, Horatius?"
mo, Malviny, none wuth mentionin';
every thing wus kan erlong the Poto.
mick" with n sigh that might have issued
from the Cave OF the Winds.
at must ha' ben kindly squabbly about
the polls, Horatius," insisted his wife
"you look so orfully broke upl"
"No, Malviny," replied the "boss," with
feeble facetiousness, 1.-THE tcmpertoor O.
the poles wus all o. X; nawthin' matter
o. them. But the lattertude o. the equator
come all-fred near 'lectin' II dead-beat fui
mayor! Tha' so!''-Youths Companion.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-03-19
REBuKrNG THE POLITICIANS.

President Cleveland's sharp ietter OF re-
buke to a prominent politician who had
signed his name to letter Of recommended
tIon OF candidate for Office, and who had
then written private letter to the Presi-
dent protesting against the appointment be-
Ing made, was a forcible reminder Of tho
careless and disingenuous ways of too many
politicians and of that easy-going American
good nature which would refuse TO no one,
however unworthy, so slight favor as tho
signing Of your name TO piece Of paper.
Still there are testimonials and testimonials.
Perhaps we shonld not expect too much
from the politicians, but In many other cali
ings high standard must be preserved.
This can only be done by the exercise of
great care and vigilance, but when these
are observed the recommendation becomes
Of great value. One can not but be struck
by this fact In looking over the testimonials
which Athlophoros has had from distin-
guished persons in every part of the coun-
try The high character of those who in
interviews or in letters have testified to its
great worth as remedy for rheumatism
and neuralgia can leave no doubt ON this
point A few of these words of recon-
e.,i..-.. ~-'~ " $1,000 W >'A'S,
iolioW'
oonn -. aearn, ,ne puoiisher OF inc pdt-
ICY oeuutee at sidney, ", says:
anlopnoros mas gwen my wire more
reuei from rheumatism anu neuralgia than
anythilg she ever trieu, anu sne mas tried
eVerythlng' having Deen q suiterer Tor ilf-
oeeh years nave iet other suhefers mere
use a., .he medicne WIN much 1cheht
Inc AeV; MaXWeil +. Saddis, OF Dayton,
", Wen-kho"h di'ihe' si"diy says Oh the
fe,meuy;
,Amiophoros mas transcended all eXpec-
.a.,ons anu cured alreauy some OF our neigh
DOTS snaS were great suIere,s,
81 y; W. haooe, oil soo Nam street. Gin
cihnatl, ", III answer to the question or
Vsl.ot Iegaruihg HIS experience win the
mea,c,ne, SAID; =.
nave used Y myself ana have given 1t
10y WY auu uoy WIN very satisfactory
IeSu.s. IN my own case used IL Tor neu-
ralgia and IL gave me very quick relief. NY
wife and boy were afflicted with rheuma-
tism the bov heipy very nuch ewoiiar a,,a
ho n',a'.S .nS opy oos uSr T o"oieh anu
ne Suhereu intei'se pam. ihey are Dotn
we'll now and have been ever since thew
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-03-19
His Trade Was Bad.

Two men were on Broadway car the
other day, who were debating the con-
dition OF trade. One was gloomy. The
other failed utterly by argument to raise
him to more sanguine view OF things. He
at last said:
swell, didn't like to tell you, but my
latest line OF business has proven bad"
"What are you in?" asked the gloomy
chap.
Lime" was the reply.
"What's the matter with the lime trader"
was the unsuspecting inquiry.
SLACK" said the sanguine man as he
grinned broadly, while the people in the
car laughed at the way he had entrapped
the man OF shadows.-M Y. Tribune.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1886-03-19
Insulting a Merchant Prince.

Tom Anierry, one of the steadiest stu
dents at the University OF Texas, attempted
to purchase suit OF clothes from Nose
schaumburg the merchant prince OF
Austin.
~ have obsheckshuns to giving you some
more credits, put, my tear poy, | dinks
you bays me first vat you owes me already
sometimes" said Nose.
"Do you really think so?"
"Dot is shoost vat dinks. have got
some creditors myself. owes monies
vich l must bay up"
"Well, that's none of my business; you
don't owe rae any thing" replied Tom An
jerry, as he Indignantly left the emporium.
Texas ,SiftingS.