Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1886-06-10
SHORT OF CASH.
TLuke Sharp in Detroit Free Press.

although tie pursuit OF Wcalth Is not
favorable to the i2tellectual life, the
unconveniences of poverty are even
less favorable to i'll
Let me observe To begin with, right
you are L. e.; tight you are.
One Sunday in London, it struck me
that it wouldn't be II bad idea 10 go
down to the Office on the Strand and
finish up some correspondence that was
long oyer due. would be assisted by
the quiet and freedom from interrup
tion that was certain of on that day,
so about II O'Clock went to the Ham
mersmith railway station and found 1t
closed. The London railways are in
the habit of closing down during church
time, although they run enough trains
the rest of the day to make up for this
spasm of Sunday observance. l had
forgotten this freak on the part Of the
railway people, and so took bus in
stead.
If that railway station had been open
ed this would not have been written,
for the price of return ticket was
more than the amount l had in my
pocket. I would have remembered
that had left my purse in the pocket
I wore on week days, and would have
gone back for it.
Now, seat beside the driver on a
Hammersmith bus Oh fine morning
is something not to be despised. You
go along through Kensington and past
Hyde Park and into Piccadilly, and so
to Charing Cross and the city. 1t is a
bout as interesting an hours ride as
you can wish to haYe.
where for, sir p
'Charing Cross
'Sixpence, please
'Slxpence it is and l dived down in
to my pocket and up came the nimble
sixpence. That reticent coin, however,
meyer told me that all that it left there
was just two pennies and one half pen
ny. After the silver piece had passed
into :he hands of the 'bus conductor
we rolled merrily along and had no
idea that would soon be called to face
the pangs of direst poverty.
wrote away in the Office until the
bells tolled 2, and feeling the necessity
for a square meal, l went into cafe
that was generally crowded on week
days, but was almost empty on Sunday.
I don't know why I ordered such a
sumptuous dinner probably because |
felt certain satisfaction at having ac-
complished some work that should
have been done long before-but, be
that as it mav-I ordered a "blow-the-
expense" dinner, and only felt sorry |
had no genial friend with me to share
it.
When the waiter brought me the bill
| glanced at it and put my hand down
the trouser pocket. on the right. Net
result, 24p. L searched all my pockets
in the vain hope that they might yield
the unexpected cash that careless
man leaves around his clothes. Net
result t-same old tuppence ha'psnny.
waiter, would you have the kindness
to ask the proprietor to step this wayF'
Proprietor, sir ? Yes sir, certainly,
sir. Nothing wrong 'ope, sir p
Nothing whatever. Merely wish to
express my gratificatioc.'
The proprietor came up smiling and
rubbing his hands one over the other.
Now 1 particularly dstrust a man who
smiles and rubs his hands. and | said
to myself 'I'm going to have trouble
with this man.
Good afternoon. I wanted to say to
you that rarely have enjoyed a dinner
as we'll as the one have just finished.
Il am very glad you are satisfied, sir.
We try TO please our customers, SIT.
Hope you will come again. SIR
AS things look at present | rather
think I'll hare to. But what wanted
to see you particularly for was-I hope
Pm not OBTAINING you too long p
'Oh. not at all, sir-not at all. Sun
days a very light day with us, sir
Then that's all right. Wei, as |
was saying, l thought I'd try a chest
nut on you il you had the time.'
"A chestnut, sir p
'Yes, in America we call an old story
or an old joke a chestnut. Whenever
an enemy gets off what he thinks is
good joke, we simply remark chestnut,
and that crushes him.
'Ah, see sir very good sil.'
well, this chestnut you've perhaps
heard before. Everybody has in Amer.
lea. A fellow put up at frst-class
hotel, ordered fine dinner and the
best of wine. Having dined' exceeding.
ly we'll he called for thu landlord
Landlord, he said, Il suppose lots oi
dead beats come to your house p
well, few
what do you d. when a man has nc
moneys a deaf beat, in fact p
Do? Why Kick him out