Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-08-22

W. FNlttF vi u
THE HOUSE IN TREE.
that the door is barred and they arc i'm
4 prisoned About a year ago Texas crank
/ presented himself as a silent candidate for the
PRESIDENCY. Said he: "My people told me
would lie king if STAYED in a tub of cold
water all night did So, and i heard the
whiSpcrings Of inspiration. 1 expect that
| George Washington will soon appear and
| cover me with Jewels | want 10 pre-
sent myself 10 the president as a silent
candidate for the next term in the White
HouSe" He was, of course, not permitted to
see the president and what became Of him is
not known. About the patent office you may
often see the perpetual-motion crank and
numbers Of letters are gotten at the patent Of
fee daily from people who clam to have sue
cpSSfully invented this. One of the examiners
tells me that an old man and his son walked
all the way from Tennessee not long ago TO
patent pep. al motion, hat on being asked
to furnish a working model, and being
shown that their idea could not succeed, they
went away in despair. There are cranks who
want seats in the cabinet and there are
numerous cranks who think they have the
right 10 60 into the treasury and Use the gov
ernment money as they choose. Now and
then religious crank ca!lsup some Of the
society ladies in Washington, and not long
ago one presented himself TO a leading SEN
ator'S wife and she got rid Of him by humor-
ing his religious deluSions.
One of the most nuted cranks about Wash
ington was an old man named Pinchover,
who had number of delusions and who used
TO come into the White House and congress
and the various departments, and make his
demands in a very noisy manner. He is in
the asylum now near Washington, think
and when | last saw him he Was being car
ried out of the house Of representatives by the
sargeant-at-arms and yelling like trooper.
There are a number of queer characters in
Washington who can hardly be labeled
cranks, Yet who are so different from the aver
age run Of humanity that they come very
close 10 it One of these is DR.. Mary Walker,
who struts about Washington in mems
clothes, wearing black broadcIcth pantaloons.
patent heather boots, a Prince Albert coat
and plug hat. She is a short haired little
woman of less than five feet and her hands
and feet are small She has a weazened,
dried-up face, and she looks like a funny
little dwarf rs she struts about with a cane
daintily held between her fingers She likes
to be seen, and wherever there is a respect
able free crowd You viii find her in it She
calls upon the president, representatives and
senators, and she does not object to Office
when she can get it
a queer woman about Washington is an
old lady with a high bonnet and doughty
complexion. You sce her often about the
Capitol, and no one seems TO know much
about her think she lives at the Louise
Home for Old Ladies' and understand she
has the blood of the best families of Virginia
in her veins
The man who lives in a tree is fast acduir-
ing a national reputation He calls his home
Airy Castle, and he has lived in it now, win
ter and summer, for several years. II con
sists of tent-Eke house, built upon a pine
platform fastened between two oak trees
The walls of the house ara wood, but the roof
is tent Of ridged shape The platform
is, | should judge, thirty five feet square, and
It Is fastened TO the tTpes a. high up from the
ground as is the first story of a business
building. He goes up 10 it on ladder, and
be has a wide platform outside on which he
can come during hot evenings in summer
and enjoy the air. He has the interior of
his tent house comfortably furnished and be
heats il with an oil stove With a table or
two and chair and a good bed, and with
pictures and photographs strung about the
room, he has very comfortable bachelor quar-
ters, and thinks he likes the notoriety which
his queer house gives him. He is a clerk in
the pension office at 81 800 a year. He is a
one-armed man, dark Whskered, pleasant
faced, and about 10 years of age.
One of the queerest men in Washington is
a man who prides himself ON his SHAPE, and
who pads himself out OF all recognition He
is tall, bruad-shOuldered fellow, with a face |
like that of a bully and with eyes that never
appear to be looking at any one or anything |
His broad shoulders are padded with many
inches of cotton. so that his blue flannel coat |
falls in at the arms where the padding ends |
He has very large cuffs. and these are so long |
that you cannot at times see his hands, which |
are very small and remarkably white His |
feet are also small, and he wears boots with |
high French heels. His head is large, but OIL |
its top be has little fiat derby several sizes
too small for him, and this he pulls down half |
over his eyes, making him look like drunken |
sailor of the dude rider You ALWAYS see |
him about the book auctions, and find that |
he has one Of the finest libraries in Washing |
ton He knows all about books and seems to |
have plenty of money! His family is, un- |
derstanG, rich, and he is given big allow.
ance annually to use as he pleases
Thcse are but specimens of the many cranks |
in Washington Any night, about the hotels, |
you may strike a long haired man,
and on the streets you will see daily short |
haired women Men with hobbies congre-
gate here, and there are always plenty Of |
street preachers, infidels and men with |
striking ideas ready to harangue any crowd |
they can get together. At the Capitol the |
crank thrives and multplies as the years go,
and the man who stripped himself the other 1
day and stood naked in the rHtunda at mid
day, pretending to think himself statue, has |
had his counterparts in times past, though as
yet no ones crankineSs has taken Just the |
same direction.
FRANK GEORGE CARPENTER
Teaching His Children to Swim.
A citizen of Peterborough, Can. anx- |
lous that his children shall learn to swim, |
has made box thirty feet long, nine feet .
wide and four deep. and sunk it in the
river near the shore. 1t is so arranged
that the bathers can raise or lower it TO