Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-10-24
Rreyities

The world moves. 1t probably finds it
cheaper to move than TO pay rent,-Boston
Transcript.
A Chicago man has applied for a patent for
n hathtub. He seems to think it a new idea
Omaha World.
1t is said that a McCook man has a nose 50
red that when he opens his eyes slowly in the
morning he imagines he sees the sun rising
Omaha Herald.
II people who mean TO begin to read should
read al the advice to readers about reading
they wouldn't have time to read anything
els .-Somerville Journal.
Isn't it curious that the men who are al
ways telling how many thousand dollars can
be saved by not smoking are, in nine cases
out OF ten, poor as church mice .-Burlington
Free Press.
A woman in Newaygo county, this state,
picked and sold enough blackberries this fall
to buy her husband a fiddle and shotgun.
She is only q sample of what we have left
Detroit Free Press.
In the police court, the other day, a flushed
female excitedly emerging from the door:
There, she told Judge Piper l was a con
mon street walker. / said I'd make her prove
it, and, by glory, l did. Exit triumphant
ly)-Salt Lake Herald.
"Worthington made n convincing speech"
said one young man to another. "Why do
YOU think sor well, when l went to hear
him ! had almost made up my mind to
vote against him. When l came out l was
certain OF it.n-Peoria Transcript.
A man in West Virginia reports having
seen q snake forty feet long in the act Of
swallowing a sheep. 1t is believed that about
two moro drinks Of the stuff would have en-
abled him to see a sheep forty feet long in the
act Of swallowing a snake. Norristown
Herald.
The meanest church organist lives in Phila-
delphia. He is AN bent with age, and the
other day, at the wedding Of an antique
Philadelphia belle, whom he knew many
years before, he astonished everybody by
playing a fantasia on the air, when You
and l Were Young. Boston Traveller
as any one waiting on your inquired the
polite salesman of a Westville maiden. "Well,
I can't hardly tell" she ~blushingly replied.
Sometimes | think there is, and then again /
amt certain, but Wills so sort Of funny, you
know" and then she bluShed again and asked
to look at some laco collarS-New Haven
News.
In Potter county, Pa, a slim youth was be-
ing married a few days ago TO a stout,
healthy country girl. The male was per
fumed, wore frills in his shirt, had bis hair
curled, and presented such a feminine appear
ance that the clergyman said: Il don't want
to make any mistake about this business, so
which Of you is the bride, anyhowT-Boston
Globe.
First Commercial Tourist from Charles
ton)-Earthquakes have become so commo
in Charleston that no one notices them Sec
cond Ditto from San FranciSco-Yes, one
soon grows accustomed TO such things. In
San Bernardino, for instance, you call for a
sherry flip, and the bartender, having pre-
pared the ingredients, waits for an earth
quake to como along and shake EN- Rural
Passenger much imprrSSedl-Wen, swami
Exchange.
newspaper man i, Minneapolis enc day
caught a young woman as she was falling IN
the street. They were introduced q few days
later, and after marriage, which occurred in
a few months, be learned that she was worth
SIS 900 in cash. It is said that it IS now i'm
possible for q young lady to walk in the
streets of Minneapolis without being followed
by a dozen newspaper men; and some OF
them are caught strewing the sidewalk with
banana i nS-NorriStown Herald
"a ballet of The Paris onera eos.s m.