News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-27
ABOUT CHEERFUL MEN.
NJ. Quad tells us what He Thinks about
Them.

If cheerful men were selling for ten
cents apiece, and had thousand doll
ars to throw away, wouldn't buy one
of them. l used to have a positive rev.
erence for smiling, grinning, bland
voiced man. Many a time I've met
Smith or Green or White on my way
down town, and it would jump my soul
foot high to hear him call out:
"Well, my boy, beautiful morning,
eh? Isn't everything just lovely? Why,
seem to be floating in mid air Why,
sir, wouldn't trade this earth for all
the Heavens ever preached about by the
ministers. Have cigar2 No9 Then
have a drink? No? Dear me! but what
can do to brighten you up, and make
you feel like an angel on roller r-skates"
And I'd stand off and look at him
and wonder if the land beyond the skies
did really contain happier soul. All!
the old hypocrite! l got to know in
after years that his children were
afraid of him, his wife trembled as he
entered the door, and that it was his
daily habit to growl out as he left the
door:
"Wood l bought 50 worth last week.
If that's gone we'll go without until
Saturday. You are the most extrava-
giant woman in Detroit. l believe you
burn it up to spite me. Soap! Didn't
I get bar last Saturday. If you let
the children play horse with the soap
you must take the consequences. Go
down on the ferry! I'd like to see my
self Juggling three or four younguns and
a limping wife around town."
Your habitually cheerful man is an
old fraud and liar. He is well-dressed,
while his children are the rag bags of
the neighborhood. He has dollar for
cigars when his wife wears a bonnet six
years old. He passes for a whole souled
fellow with the public, but is fault
finder at home. You'll see him taking
the cool breezes of the river, while his
family are weltering in a stuffy house on
some back street.
want to see man grin when there's
anything to grin at, but when Green
gets up in the morning and declares he
hasn't had a meal fit to eat for the last
three months, and that he can't see why
his wife is always groaning around and
his children always whining, he has no
business to stop the first man he meets,
shout out:
"Why, old fel, how solemn you 90
look! Brace up, man-life is worth
the living ten times over"
used to reverence Green. He had
grip of the hand like carpenters vice
he had a voice as bland as June-he'd
make consumptive believe that moth
ing more than a sore heel was the mat
ter 1 used to lie in ambush for him
just to hear his hearty voice and see
his serene countenance, and I'd go
about my days work wondering what
sort of guardian angel he had. I
found out one day when a policeman
had to get in and stop him from beat
ing his wife.
When you find a man who can grin
over the servant girls jumping out at
an hours notice, with his wife fiat IN
bed and the children having q scarlet
fever look around the eyes, don go of
on a fishing trip with him. When
man can soar among the angels with
bill collectors ringing his door bell
last weeks grocery bill unpaiGsAfhe
children wanting shoes-the rent run
ming behind and his wife coughing all
night long, he's an internal old fraud
and ought to be kicked. When a chap
who has frozen the children, jawed the
cook and blasted his wife as sort of
morning tonic before leaving the house
meets you about block from the gate
and is troubled because you haven't got
your angels harp on your shoulder,
keep your hand on any stray half dollar
you happen to have about you. He's
mean enough to steal chicken broth
from boy with a broken back.