Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-08-06

tho envelope. l knew 1t was Vene
Wright's name, so decided to imagine
that Vene was there in person, and SO
we started on the week. Monday night
came. That was the night of the
Bachelors German, but I staid at
home and talked TO mother. Then
l played eucher with her for a
while, and We managed to have very
enjoyable evening. Next morning
mother met me at the table with smiles,
and about tho best breakfast l had
eaten in long while.
"You must imagine that your wife
saw to this breakfast" she whispered.
Going up on the strect-car that
morning, who should get on but Miss
Beaufort. l bowed to her gracefully,
deposited her fare in the nickel box,
and was about to sit down by her when
l happened to think of my imitation
wife at home, and walked to the rear
of the car.
"Married men have no business
talking to young ladies'" said l to my
self.
Miss Beaufort looked at me rather
qucerly, but said nothing, and thought
the car never would get up town.
Thursday was my evening to call on
Vene, and | forgot to send her an cx-
cuse. Friday, came note from her,
which mother took the liberty
OF opening, as she thought
would not care, and She
felt like representing my wife in the
desk. 1t was a tender missivc, and
somewhat surprised me when saw it.
But what could do. Married men
have no business getting tender notes
from young ladies. Inasmuch rs had
contracted to carry out mothers plan
for two weeks, l left the note for
mother TO answer. She is very
truthful woman, but in answering the
note she prcvarlcated. She said that
was very sick, and as natural consc.
quonce Vone called that afternoon to
see INC, but ! was up town and mother
had to invent another story. Then
mother had to come all the way up town
SO as to keep me from coming down
town my usual way for fear Vene
might catch us. l laughed a good deal
at mother, and Vene did not find us
out, but tho society reporter of tho
paper met her, she told him l was sick,
and the noxt day all of my society
friends came around, among them Miss
Beaufort.
Mother met her rather coldly, but
| invited her to stay awhile.
"a suppose Mr.. Silver is almost worn
out with so much going out, " said the
young lady.
"he is much better" said mother,
"but do not think he will go out for
several weeks. Think / shall keep him
at homc.
II am so glad" said Miss Beaufort,
"not that you arc going to keep him at
home, but that he is not going out SO
much, | am getting so l fairly detcst
society," > "
Hero was woman who had my
mothers views, and they both, there,
upon, had q confidential talk, and
pleased each other nightly.
Then she asked mother to call on her
mother, and this mother did. Mean
while l was staying home every even
ing and was getting pretty tired Of it
as the two weeks were drawing to a
close.
Don't you think man ought to take
his wife out once in awhileP" said l to
mother.
"Why notp" said she.
"Then I'll take her to the theatcr to-
night" So l bought a couple of re.
served seats in the parquet for Satur-
day night, and mother, who repre-
sented my wife, went with me.
We had hardly taken our seats before
! noticed that they were adjoining those
Of Miss Beaufort and her mother, My
mother was highly pleased when we
changed seats so that l sat by Miss Beau
fort and my mother sat by her. Wewcnt
home together that night and laughed
and talked good deal. l think
mother told Mrs. Beaufort what we
had boon doing, but did not hear it.
knew that several days later, after my
two weeks of married life were over, l
went to call on Miss Beaufort. We had
pleasant timo together, and just as |
was about to leave, the old lady came in.
II forgot to ask you, Mr.. Silver,
what you thought Of married lifeP" said
she.
Miss Beaufort looked Mortified. but
laughed.
"Mother has been telling on me, has
she?" said l.
"She has," said she.
"Well," said l, "during tho two
weeks was married, l read three good
books, gained four pounds in weight
and saved eighteen dollars and forty
cents, besides paying my wife's board
and ticket to the theater."
"And who were you married TOP"
asked Mrs. Beaufort.
~ forgot to look, ), said |. / hurried
home to see who my wife had been.
The envelope was just as l placed it in
my desk drawer.
| tore it open and there was the name
of Miss Beaufort.
"Well," said /, "mother made her
an imitation wife, now l will try to
make her real one"
And so | did.-Thomas II. Stark, in
Chicago Cnrrant.
DENSITY OF THE SUN.