Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1886-09-29
False Prophet wiggins.
New York star.

The sensible people OF Canada must be
laughing loudly at the prominence the
American papers are giving weather
prophet Prof. Stone Virgins. Neverthe-
less, II is not laughing matter to
timid or ignorant folks living in
Florida and other OF those places south OF
the thirtieth parallel OF latitude, who are
In such imminent danger from the tre-
mendous earthquake which Is prophesied
for them on September 20.
II every one knew Stone Virgins as
well as l. and what an arrant humbug he
is, they wouldn't pay much attention TO
his predictions. 1t was he who literally
frightened number OF Gloucester fisher
mems wives to death in the spring OF
1883 by predicting most dreadful storm,
which was to, blow from the North Attain
tic coast and whirl ships into the
air as II they were feathers. The time
came sure enough, but never whirl, ex-
cept In the brain OF the prophet, who
stoutly contended that the storm had
come, but had taken the form Of Mani
toba blizzard and passed, bowling and
tearing its hair, through the Rocky Noun
tains.
The truth Is, my friend Virgins would
do ANYTHING TO secure newspaper para
graph. Erostratus II was who burned
down the famous temple OF Diana al
Ephesus so that his name might live In
some fashion, but Erostratus was shy,
sensitive creature compared with Wig
gins. have been told by an
acquaintance OF his that he gazed thir-
ty-six hours without winking at
the first effusion of his that appeared In
Halifax newspaper, and would have fall
len into state OF Niryaua had not his
friends shaken him up, and, although
somewhat more accustomed TO para
graphs now, he grows faintish with van
ity every time he sees his name In print.
Permit me to give you an idea OF the
mans cheek One OF the chambers con-
nected with the fine library OF the Domln-
ion parliament is reserved tor the statues
and busts OF great people, such as the
queen, Sir John Macdonald, Lord Duffer-
In and a few other celebrities. Well, one
night everybody saw to his surprise that
on the only vacant pedestal, waiting per-
hspsfor Lord Lorne, reposed the bust OF
Mrs. Stone Virgins, with charming
smile on her face. 1t mystery TO this
very day who placed 1t there, and Che
prophet when asked about II was as much
puzzled as others. "But,n he said, tiny
wife Is q literary lady She has written
several letters to the press over the sig.
nature Of Gunilda, and she Intends pub
fishing volume OF teantiful poems. !
suppose some appreciative friends placed
the bust where 1t is against her WILL"
The wonder to me is that he sacrificed
himself even for his wife, for every string
OF his heart is straining and aching Tor
that glory that consists in newspaper
mention. II, therefore, an earthquake
comes along on September 20, II will be
marvellous coincidence; but then II an
odd chimney falls anywhere south OF the
Soth parallel OF latitude, II viii be enough
for Virgins.
youch for the truth OF this story
Virgins belongs TO the meteorological
survey. and how he got there is as great
a mystery as that OF Mrs. Virgins bust,
Ha was going home one night from so
cIal marty, and he was smoking one Of
those fye.cent cigars for which Ottawa
is "a celebrated. Suddenly he stopped
| and uttered an exclamation which at
tracted small crowd including police
man.
HWhat's the matter, Mr. Wigginsf Has
anyone siruck your -.
iiNo, no, my friend-thank Godl M
fame and fortune are made. have dls,
covered new planet In our nrmhment'
nWhere- wherc Is itf'
"There-there; don't you see it--nAm.
ing red, yonder In the perihelion OIL
Bnt am faint. Bring me water"
By this time pretty large crowd mao
collected. but no one could see the star
and Virgins was taken home. II was
afterward discovered that as he raised
lis finger in his idlot-prophetic way DC
snw the of end Of his cigar, bright Anc
tIery, and in his enthusiasm thought h'
discovered new planet 10 our system.
venture TO prophesy that upon som'
September 20, not over remote, VIII 90
Stone Virgins inhabiting a room 10
lunatic asylum. Yours, etc.
800 john G. FLEMING.