St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1886-07-31

oNOi Vic DQcK OF C06 cHaiT. idu cViueIlly
dropped asleep while waiting for my re-
turn, and | proceeded to wake him up. l
then got distinct view of him; his right
arm hung down; his feet were crossed one
over the other, and the way his head
dropped. little to the left of the arm
chair, showed plainly enough that he was
asleep. l asked myself: who is itp'
Anyhow the light in the room was not
strong enough to see perfectly by. | put
out my hand to touch his SHOULDN'T
My hand touched only the wood of the
chair! Nobody was there! The chair was
empty!
Mercy What shock it gave me!
First | leaped back as if some terrible
peril had made itself visible
Then l turned round, feeling that some
body was behind me; then, almost as
quickly, an imperative desire to look at
that chair again made me wheel round a
second time. And | stood there, painting
with fear, so bewildered as to be incapable
of thinking-on the very point Of falling
But | am by nature cool man, and my
self-possesSion soon returned. [ thought
to myself: 81 have just had hallucina-
tion-that is ALP And Immediately be-
gan to reflect on the phenomenon. In su oh
moments the mind operates very rapidly.
L had'had an hallucnation-tha was an
incontestable fact. Now my mind had all
the time remained clear, performing its
functions regularly and logically. There
was consequently no real affection of the
brain. The eyes alone had been deluded
aud had deluded my imagination. The
eyes had vision-one of those visions that
make simple minded folks believe in mir
acles. 1t was simply nervous accident
dent to the optical apparatus, nothing
more. perhaps there was a slight con-
gestion.
And lighted my candle. AS I bent
down over the fire [ found myself trem
bling, and drew myself up again with a
sudden start, as if some one had touched
me from behind
Certainly my nerves were out of order. I
walked to and fro for a little while;
talked aloud to myself: l hummed few
airs.
Then 1 double-locked the door of my
room; and began to feel somewhat reas-
sured At all events nobody could get in.
Again | sat down; and for long time |
thought over my adventure. Then l went
to bed, and blew out my light.
For a few moments everything seemed
all right l remained lying quietly on my
look at my room; and l turned over on my
side.
My fire held only two or three red en-
bers, which barely lighted the legs of the
chair; and | thought l saw the man sitting
there again.
l struck match quickly. But 1 had
been mistaken; could see nothingl
Nevertheless got up. took the chair
and placed it out OF sight behind my bed.
Then l made everything dark again. and
tried to go to sleep. | could not have sunk
into Inconsistencies for more than five
minutes, when | saw in dream. and as dis
tinctly as reality itself, the whole incident
of that evening. [ woke up in terror, and
after making light sat up in bed without
daring to try to go to sleep again.
Sleep, Notwithstanding, twice seized
upon me for a few moments, in spite of
myself. Twice l saw the same thing. l
thought l had actually gone mad!
When daylight appeared l felt COM
pletely cured. and l took peaceful sleep
until midday.
1t had passed-entirely passed. L had
had fever, a nightmare, or something of
that Sort Anyhow 1 had been sick
Nevertheless | thought myself very much
of fool.
That day was quite jolly. I dined at
the cabaret, went to the theater and then
started for home. But 10! as 1 drew near
my house, a strange sense of uneasiness
took possession of me. 1 was afraid of
seeing him again. Him! Not afraid Of
him precisely-not afraid of his presence.
in which | do not believe; but afraid of an
other optical trouble. afraid of the hallu-
cination, afraid of the fear which would
come upon me.
For more than all hour [ kept walking
up and down the sidewalk; then at last l
decided this was absolute folly and | went
in. painted so much that | could scarcely
climb the stairs. | stood for fully ten min
utes more on the landing in front of my
room; then suddenly felt rush of cour-
age. bracing-up of will. | plunged my
key in the keyhole; 1 rushed forward with a
lighted candle in my hand; kicked in the
unfastened door of the room and threw one
terrified glance at the fireplace. l saw
nothing.
What relief! What joy! What a
deliverance! l went to and fro with a
staggering air. But still 1 did not feel
perfectly confident. I would turn round by
fits and starts to look behind ME. The dark
ness in the corners of the room frightened
me.
slept badly, being necessarily startled
out of my rest by imaginary noises But
1 never saw him. No. That was all over
Ever since that day have been afraid to
be alone at night. can feel it there, close
to me-the Vision! 1t did not make its ap-
pearance agaln-0h, no! And what mat
ter, anyhow, since [ don't believe in it
since know that it is nothing?
Still it annoys me, because [ keep all the
time thinking about it. One arm was hang
ing down on the right side-his head
dropped a little to the left, like that of a
man asleep. Come. that's enough of it.
nom de Dieul l don't want to think of it
any more
And still, what is this feeling Of being
haunted? Why does it persist III this way?
His feet were quite close to the fire.
He haunts met is madness, but it is
so! Who is he? [ know perfectly well
that He does not exist-that it is nothing
whatever! He only exists in my apprehen-
sion, in my fear, in my anguish! There!-
that's enough!
Yesssbut it is no use for me to reason with
myself about it-no use to try to brace I'D
against i'll can't remain alone at home
any more, because He is there! know
[ won't see him any more; he won't show
himself again-thats past.
But he is there all the same in my
thought. Because he remains invisible it
does not follow that he is not therel He is
behind the doors, and in the armoir and
under the bed-in all the dark corners in
all the shadows. If | stir the door upon its
hinges-if [ open my armoir-if L lower
my light to look under the bed-if I throw
the light upon the corners upon the
shadows-he is not there; but then feel
him behind ME! | turn round, certain all
the while that am not going to see him,
that l will not ever see him again. He is
behind me still, for all that!
1t is stupid-but it is atrocious! What
would you have me do? l can do nothing!
But if there were two of us together at
home, then. | feel-yes. l am perfectly
sure-that he would not be there any more
For he is there because l am alone-and for
no other reason than because 7 am alone