The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1886-08-29

guage which she certainly never learned at a
Sunday school
.What IL the matter, Trotterg" said,
mildly, sand why have you not served din
nerp
"'Cause it amt cooked" was the reply,
@and never likely to be, with this bloomin' old
tater-can Of q stove. There's your ducks, and
there's your soles, and there's your apercot
tart, and l hope you like 'eml" As she
spoke she pulled out each article and
thrust it under my nose. They were admir-
ably arranged for cooking, but had no APP
pearance of having ever been near q fire.
Possibly" suggested, ''Trotter, you don't
quite understand the stove"
Maybe not, and don't want to-" retorted
our Infatuated domestic. IF you think you
can do better, you're welcome to try. I've
had my whack! I'd sell the drafted thing for
old iron, if had my way"
''Trotter," l said with all the dignity that
could command, this is a very expensive
stove, a most expensive stove" Il didn't know
whether it was or not, but 1 felt it was wise
to say sol, land is warranted to cook dinner
for fifteen persons. My landlord told me so,
and he is a most respectable man."
''Then the landlord had better come and
cook the dinner hisself," retorted Trotter.
took no notice of the interruption. You
have probably been accustomed to the old
fashioned open ranges, Trotter, and of course
you can't be expected to understand OIL
all the ins and outs Of a high-class affair like
this. So don't distress yourself; but put on
your bonnet you had better wash your face
first, by the way, and fetch pound OF ham
and beef from the cookshop round the corner.
Mr.. Tidd and will make shift with that for
this one evening; and tomorrow will get
Mr.. Jawker to come and explain matters to
US, and then you will get on like a house on
fire."
"You amt likely to have any house on fire
with that stove" replid Trotter, shaking her
head at it maliciously, as though that summed
up the measure of its iniquities. But my
calmness had its effect upon her, and about
8 o'clock Tidd and l sat down, in place of the
luxurious banquet we had anticipated, to n
plate of ham and beef from the cook shop.
Trotter was with difficulty dissuaded from
packing up her boxes and departing at once,
but finally agreed to wait the result of the
visit of our landlord, to whom l sent a press
ing letter the same evening.
The next morning Mr.. Jawker arrived.
He was little man with big head, and a
figure which was presumptive evidence of the
satisfactory performance of the kitchen range
wherever he resided, and 1 began to be more
hopeful He carried under his arm an oblong
parcel, done up in brown paper.
"A little difficulty with the Treasure eh!"
he said, carefully depositing his hat on the
dresser, and beaming affectionately on the
stove through his spectacles. "Ah, well, We'll
soon set that right. Finest range in London!
I've brought you the dripping pan"
''The what!' / inquired. l had heard of
dripping pans, but hadn't the faintest idea
what they were. Tidd, arrayed in a flowery
dressing gown and a magnificently EN-
broidered smoking cap, tried to look if as he
knew, but it was a failure. Meanwhile Mr..
Jawker had begun to unite his parcel.
1.-THE dripping pan! why, of course, the tin
affair that You put under tho meat. Sarah
herer-c.which my name is Mary Ham,"
haughtily interjected NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. all
about it; but this dripping pan is a patent,
made specially to 60 withathe Treasure It's
a size too large for our present range, SO l
don't mind making you present of it. Look
here, dodgy arrangement underneath to hold
water. Without water, and vcntilator shut,
oven only bakes. With water, and ventilator
open, oven roasts. Joint done to turn,
delicious brown gravy in it, beautiful" And
Mr.. Jawker smacl1ed his lips lovingly at the
recollection. Finest stove in London, L
assure You. Only wish I'd got it in my new
diggings. The range there isn't patch upon
this one"
mo doubt the stove is an excellent one,
Mr. Jawker, L replied. "But We can't get it
to cook at all"
"Not-cook at-alli" CALCULATED Mr..
Jawker "rhe Treasure range not cook,
Why-it'd cook-it'd cook-your grand
mother"
II have no desire to put it to that test"
replied with dignity. Il shall be quite con-
tent if it will cook IA leg of mutton. But it
won't even burn"
mot burn! The Treasure range not burn!
Come that's a good one. Give me n handful
of wood and some Goals, and we'll soon sec if
it won't burn
The Goals and wood We're produced, and
Mr.. Jawker, turning back his shirt cuffs, pro
ceesled to lay and light the fire. don't pro
fess to understand that sort of thing myself,
but it struck me that Mr. Jawker was not
particularly expert, and / caught Trotter's
| eye resting upon him with a gaze Of malig
nant satisfaction. 1 said to myself: 1.-The fire
won't burn" and it didn't. 1t smoked like u
miniature volcano, but burn it wouldn't
really felt for Jawker. He pOked and he
prol.led; he opened first one valve and then
another; then he shut them, and finally
knelt in front of the fire and blew till the
smuts fell "thick as leaves in Vallombrossl"
over his face and shirt front, and he looked
like one of those black and white dogs that
run after carriages; hut all without avail.
Tidd, with his hands in his dressing gown
pockets, began uncOnsciously to whistle
Cease rude Borcas," but suddenly remem-
herring himself, tried to change it into La
donna mobile" with scarcely satisfactory
effect. l caught his eye, and saw that he
hirl come to the same conclusion as myself,
viz, that Jawker didn't know bit more
how to make the stove burn than We did.
But he was far too artful to say so.
WANTS cleaning" he said, as he got up and
dusted the knees of his trousers with his
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. "Flue's choked with
SCOT, that's what's the matter. l tell You
what, I'll send you my builder, Bigsby. He
| knows all about the sTr,,as,lre:' he's rcpaircl
| it lots Of times; I'll tell him tn come ami clean
| it thoroughly, and just start it for you. Every
thing depends ON good start. When you've
once made start you'll be all right, depend
| upon it," Whenupon he made a start HIM
| self, and departed
Tidd and l dincd out that day Trotter
| made shift, believe, to fry some eggs and