The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1886-05-07
INVENTIVE cRANks.

INVENTIVE cRANKS.
4 Patent Lawyer Tells Of Some Funny
Experiences with His Clients.
'.Do run across many cranks?" said
well-knOwn patent lawyer in answer
to q reporters question. '.Well, young
man. all cranks are not inventors, and
possibly all inventors are not cranks,
but a good many of them are badly hit
Now there is German who lives on the
South Side, one of the most intelligent
men ever met. with no sign of crank
ness about him except in one thing. He
wants to patent a process for making
gold. For over a year he has been
dropping into my Office and trying to
get me to get his papers for him. AN
right I'll say, explain me your process
and IN make out your application
oh, no, he says, mo one shall ever
know that but myself. They will never
know that in the Patent Office even.
And he will go away. / have asked
him why he didn't make some gold him.
self. oh no. he always replies; the
secret is too valuable. dare not until
get it protected and that is all he will
tell me. One of the great peculiarities
of inventors is their suspicious natures.
Whether l look like q rascal or not !
can't say positively, but about half the
people who come to me seem to think
that am. They seem to carry the idea
that sit up here like spider in a web.
just waiting to steal some ones idea
and patent it.
about week ago a tall. thin-faced
young man craned his neck in through
the door, and looked all around the
room to see if was alone. Then he
walked over. looked under the drawing
table and behind the safe, and tried the
door to the next room. He was evil
IDENTITY satisfied that every thing was
safe, for he came up to me and almost
whispered: I've got something that
will make ten thousand dollars q
month.
You have?' said /.
"'Yes. Do you want to take an in
terest mi
mo said /, 4 never invest in pat
ents, but if You have good thing You'll
have no trouble in getting capital.
What have You got?'
again he looked furtively aroun.l the
room. and then pulled out an envelope
Along the crease. where the flap turns
over. he had pasted a string. the ends
Of which stuck out about an eighth of
an Incl after the envelop was sealed.
The purpose was to take hold of one
end of the string when You wanted to
open letter. and by pulling it, open the
envelop in the same way that it would
be opened by knife The scheme is
as old as the Patent Office. and in one
year there were one hundred and thirty
five applications for patent on the
same thing.
my friend said l, do You really
think there is ten thousand dollars q
month in this?'
oh. yes, he said. i have figured
it out, and it will only cost fifty dollars
a month to make and sell ten thousand
dollars worth.
but said l. do YOU know that
there are at least one thousand. six hum
bred models of the same plan in the
patent office now?'
''It's q lie,' said he getting excited,
and let me tell you. mister, I'm onto
FOUR little game. l didn't have much
confidence in you when came in here,
an I've got less now. I'll telegraph to
the Commissioner of Patents before an
hour, an just shut of your getting out
-
do. and out he went, and l have seen
nothing of him since. A good many of
them will bring models here which
won't work, because they don't want to
show the whole plan. They want q
patent. but want to keep their process
secret.
1T is surprising how many applica-
tons there are upon old inventions.
Here a gentleman came in a few days
ago with a model of glass tombstone
which ne wanted to patent. He was
very much surprised and crestfallen
when l showed him that there were q
number of patents covering the whole
business. Another man came to me .
month or two ago with the working
model of rotary churn. upon which he
wanted q patent.
"'See here said /, that looks very
much like machine patented about
six years ago, IS q washing-machine.'
"'Oh, yes he replied. 1t was pat
ented as washing-machine, but want
to patent it as q churn and then put it
on sale out among the farmers to be
used for both, don't you see.'
WELL said /. you'd better take
that home and remodel it so that it can
be used as a child's crib also, and then
patent it. I'd just as soon have my but
ter made in a crib as q wash-tub, and
there is no more reason why the baby
shouldn't be put to sleep in a churn
than there is that the family linen
shouldn't be washed in it I didn't
take his case, and can't say whether he
got his patent or not "-Rttsburgh Dis
patch