davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
circumstances Alter Cases.

A farmer hired man to help work
the farm. One summer day, when Ia
Dor was scarce, the two neil were now
ing in the field, when several lark.
few up.
'Lo X at those big cranes, said tbs
hired man.
TT ose are not cranes, they are only
larks.' said the farmer, somewhat sur
prisod.
IF you say they are not cranes III
knock off work right now, sald the
hired man.
As the farmer could get nobody at
that time to take the hired mans place,
he Was obliged to yield to the whim OF
the menial.
'Yes,' said the farmer. I see now
that they are cranes, but they are not
big cranes, they are only half grown
cranes.
The hired man wa. satisfied with the
concession. Some months aiterward
the hired man still being IN the employ
OF the farmer, the latter SAID at dinner
one day, as he poured out a glass OF
water:
Here is some very fine beer
That's no beer; that's only water,
replied the hired man
If you don't say 1t is beer you can
tender your resignation, for | don't
want AN offensive partisan about the
place
The hired man knew very we'll that
be couldn't g. ano her situation at that
time of year, 20 be tasted the water,
and cheertulIy indorsed the administers
ticn, saving.
OF course it's beer, but it hasn't got
much body TO it,
Having thus convinced the president
that he was sound on the goose ques-
ton the hired man was allowed to re
tain his position.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
No. 20.

The most fatal grspeshot comes from
the bottle.
A. Mechanicstown boy found a six
teen inch garter OF the street.
In the country they blow horn for
dinner IN town they take one.
Why is an infant like diamont,9--~
Because it is dear little thing.
Years ago one man owned every dog
in the world-his name Was Noah.
When a man attains the age Of a.
be n " be termed XClngly old.
A small leak may sink great ship,
and raw onion break up courtship.
Why is the BARRIERS trade easy for
men to learn? Becsose every man was
once "a little shaver
Did you ever know anybody TO go to
q knife box for knife but always surs
to get bold of a fork first?
A California man has farm of C5,-
600 acres 1t is fortunate for him that
he hasn t them in his jaw.
When a woman becomes aur,ied she
feels for fan; when a man becomes
hurried he feels for cigar.
When Ialy sings to you, "Cone
rest in this bosom, don't you do it
her husband or lover may be round.
How many plans for Gods glory
have fallen to the ground which
bright look or a kind word have prop
ped upF
"A good man never dies" Says
philosopher If that is the case We
shan't waste any more money on ply
scEns.
4 don't III an t. reflect on you,' said
one man to ano>her No. was the re-
ply, you re net polished enough to re-
fleet OIL anybody
In concluding an article On the last
corn or p an Alabama editor remarked:
I'VE have on exhibition in our sanctun
magnificent pair of ears
"There's one thing said an old
mel chant, ''tGat never yet knew to
get tired Of standing, no matter how
long it stood and that is an outs'a d.
ing debt
The farmer is the most independent
man in the world. Anybody who
doubts this should just watch him try
ing to get lid Of u load Of rotten pota-
toes.
An exchange in noting recent RAIN
storm says: AT intervals the rain
came down in .heets.' The remainder
Of the bed clothes are expected to ar
rive IN The next shower.
A physician has discovered that
more acts of violence are committed
during hot weather than any other
season. lie must have observed the
violent efforts Of fat and bald headed
old gentleman to murder mosquito or
a tly.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
Plans for ,sae View Cruisers.

Chief Engineer Lori'g Of the Bureau
of Steam E ginner,rg of the Navy De-
p,rtmcnt is hard at work on the plans
for the new unarmored vessels that the
Government is to build These vessels
will mark a new departure in ship
building They will b. required to
develop a speed of eighteen knots an
hour. thing that no vessel in the
British navy can accomplish. The
problem the engineers have to deal
with is a difficult one. The vessels are
small, and yet it ls necessary to grt H.
to hem engines Of 5 500 horse power.
Mr.. Lo,ing is confident that these YES
sells will eclipse anything that Eng
land has ever built He says that
while we have not the room in our
navy yarGs for such work rs England
has, there is no question but that our
workmcn can compete successfully with
that country in mechanical skill. One
disadvantage our vessels have when
they are first tried is that they cannot
be Al ways off ,eral anil com narded by
crews who know how to get the best
work out Of them. In England, when
vessel is tested she is put in charge
of crew Of experts, who ere kept es,
peciallv for that work Thus the very
best results are attained on first trial.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28

Inc CHRISTIAN Adt0rdie justly con-
silers that boys e ders ar" guilty OF
a foolish act " hen they srnb him be-
cause he say or does something which
they don t understand. A boys per-
sonaliti is enti5le! 20 ;.s much re.pect
as ID man s so long as ne behaves HIM
self. in the following anecdotes vie
and foolish elders are exhibited -on'
class reSpae ing, and the other de8pis-
lag a boy.
Sone Of tie most important iuven-
tiunS have Neen the work of BOYS. The
invention OF the valve motion to the
steam engine was made by "a G,ere boy.
Ncwcoluen' engine was iii II very
incomplete condition, from the fact
that there WAS 90 way to open or close
the valves, except by means of levers
operate; by hand.
He set mp large engine At one Of
the mines, and \ boy, Humphre? Pot
ter was hired to work tlesr vaIvp.Iev
rrs; although this is not hard " ril, yet
it required his constant attention
As hr VAS working the levers, he
saw that paGts of the engine movct in
the right direction, and at the 81 ne
tim" he had to open nr close the vl!ye.
lie procured a strong cod, an1
made me end f." t to the proper par o:
the enyine, and the other end to the
valyr- lever; and the bov then had the
satisfaction Of seeing tie engine move
with perfect regularity of motion
A short time aiter the foreman ca ae
alound and saw the boy playing mar
bles a, tn door Looking at he en-
cine lie saw the ingenuity of the boy,
and also he advantage of 40 great Az
invention The idea suggested by tie
boy inventive genius WAS pu5 in {.
practical form, and made the stean, en-
CINE an automatic working machine.
The power loom is the lnye'ton of a
farmers boy who nad never seen or
heard of such th ng.
lie whitfield one out with his ] iack-
knife and after he had got it all done,
he, with great enthusiasm, Sd WED 1t to
his father, who at once kicked it to
pieces, saying he would have no boy
about h,m that would spend his time on
foolish things.
The boy Was sent to Il blacksmith to
learn a trade, aud his mas er took a
lively interest in him. He made a
loo,n of what was left of the one his
father had broken up, and showed TO
his master.
The blacksmith saw that he had NO
common boy as an apprentice and that
the invention was q valuable one. Hc
hsd loom constructed under the su
pervision of the boy. It worked to
their perfect satisfaction, and the
blacksmith furnished the means to
manufacture the looms, anil the boy
received half the profits.
In about year the Blacksmith wrote
to the boys father that he should
bring with nil wealthy gtn lem IN
who was the inventor of the celebrated
power loom
You may be able to judge of the as
tonishrlent at the old home when his
son WAS presented to him as the inven-
tor, who told him that the loom was
the same as the model that he had
kicked to pieces but a year ago.
Our Patent Office sh"ws mary lnge-
Nous and useful Inventions made by
minors md women, and the above list
Of important inventions made by 10y
might be largely increased did space
pefnoIt.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
T'Eae Dentists Story.

An uptown dentist was surprised
one morninr 'ast week rs he entered
his Office from an adjoining parlor by
the apparition Of a weary looking
young man in dress suit, who was
reclining in the capacious operating
chair, ana smoking cigar. The den
tist had been prepared by his s"rvant
to anc a professional visitor, but he WAS
totally unpreparcd for the visitors
luxurious, free and easy attitude As
the young man recognized the dentist
through the aureoll of smoke be re
marked, with the tranquility Of oIe
who is used to that sort of thing;
Doctor, ! want a too h i.lled.'
The protest. nal gentleman, WHO
also looked Il little weary, took r nee
die ike instrument from marble
shelf with lis rigl; hand, and, with
his left, gently pulled down the young
mans chin, discIo-ing an interior that
fairly gIi'tered with gold. AS the
dentist put Lis head closer to tie young
mans moah ard tapped gsntIy On the
only tooth that Sc med to have any Of
its original structure left, he became
aware that his patient had been drink
ing As the dentist made this tiscov-
cry, which furnished him with a rea-
son for the unexpected visit and atti
tudc til" young man found out that tie
dentisc was not a prohibitionst.
1 snppose, said the dentist, tapping
the tooth again, you want gold pat in
this?'
The young man nodded affirm ,tive
ly. The deLtist noticed, as he tucked
a towel under the young mans chin.
that he wore massive gold watch
chain, diamond shirt studs, and big
solitaire ring He mentally concluded
that .he young msn could afford to pay
$50 for having his too h repaired.
An energetic agitation of q little
steel probe in the hollow of the bad
tooth dispelled some Of The young man 8
wearlness
i should say the dentist observed,
:.s he inserted "a revolving tool, opera
ted by treadie. into the cavity and
worked it around with great enthusl-
asm-I should say that the gold in
your head is v orth a snug little sum?
The young man made sound indi
eating that it was.
The dentists liquor, apparently un-
like the young mans, was speech-pro-
voking
'Who filled them he inquired, as he
Withdrew the tool and let the patient
spit out some part of the superlluous
tooth.
The young man languidly answered,
as if the dentist We're boring him as
we'll as his tooth, that it was a certain
we'll known dentist
Is that SOP sald the tooth mender,
with a surprised expression. Why,
he and were partners less than eight
years ago. He's good dentist; one Of
the ornaments Of the profession, sir. |
once had very funny experience with
one Of his customers-very funny
A look of distress came over the
young man face, But the dentists
liquor spurred him on, and he began in
tre style of man who had told the
story before-
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
A CARE
DR. HIRAM BUHRMAN,

physician and surgeon, takes pleasure in an
/ ouncing TO the citizens of Mechanicstown
and vicinity that he has loca ed here n lbc
practice of medicine. For the present he
may be found ut
THE GILBERT HOUSE,
until he securcs an Office or = residence for
himself and f,mily.
He would fur her add that he has cvnac to
stay and hopes by strict and upright deport
ment to merit the confidence and support Of
a discerning plhhC.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
Professional.


DR.. J. A. Riddlcmoscr late OF Hagerstown
has located permanently in Mechanicstown
in the practice fine d,cinc
OFFICE at his residence, the late home of
Dr. VIM White deceased, He asks that the
tender OF his professional services hp favor
ably consi cred by the citizens OF the town
and vicinity.
oct "a If
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
GRACEHAM.

Where he hopes te supply his patrons il the
future as he has ia TIE past.
Nurstp consist of Collars OF cur own
manufacture, oi different patterns that can
aot he surpassed fairness Of AL kinds and
rr;ccs. also Blankets Robes, Az Whips.
REPAiR,EG OF ALL KINDS,
done with neatncSs and d!spatcli ;.ol at rri
cc. to salt the time.
We hope ~ s,r,:t attention I" business
and fair lca!n-, to merit Il con'nu,ucr OF
the very liberal patronage heretofore cx-
trn,iri, for " hiah generous public Las cui
grateful thanks.
Rcspcctfuliy,
J. 4. GERNAED.
dec 81 Gan GraCrhhm, Md.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28

DIR. ]. J. HENSEAW,

DR. J. J. HEN3HAW,
Offers his Professional
Services t. tie citizens Of Mechanicstown
and vicint' in tie practice of medicine and
surgery. Having IN experience OF ~ years.
Il sidenos eppo.'tt Luth ran church
feb 70 II
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28

BALTIC. & G. V. RAILROAD
Trains leave Edgemont for Wlynesboro,
Chambersburg and Shippensburg daily cx-
cept Sunday at 7.37 and II 40 A. M, and 7.30
p NJ. on sunday ut - a. IN. and p. NJ
Trains for Edgenont leave daily Shippens-
burg at 6.53 A. NJ and .35 nnd 4 IS p. VI,
Chambersburg at 7 IS A. NJ. 2 10 and 4.3S
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28

Women may indeed have a sphere
that is bnundless, but she strikes an
impassablp barrier when she comes to
a barbed wire tense.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28

Such Il rickety structure is the capi-
tal of Nevada that it has to be held up
by prrrs-
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1886-01-28
Farmers Resort.

The undersigned lakes this method to no
tify Tie Public that he Will continue 10 con-
duct Tie SadIiery Business IN AL its branch
cs at the old stand in
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12
English Farmers.

When Mr.. Joseph Arch was lately ''ban.
quoted" by the National Liberal Club of
England, he told in his speech of a laborer whom
he knew who had on his allotment of land raised
sixty-two bushels Of wheat and sixty bushels of
potatoes, was the owner of seven fat hogs, and
besides in the year had earned $286. 81 as a labor
er. Great curiosity was excited to learn the
name and the address of this 'shappy peasant"
but Mr.. Arch was suspiciously ~reticent when
asked concerning Che matter, and would merely
say the man might be found at Wexford. A Lon
don Standard correspondent accordingly went to
Wexford to find him. The first agriculturist who
was questioned proved far from being the ideal
laborer whom Mr.. Arch had 30 glowingly
pictured. He had only raised on his plot Of
ground about six pecks Of wheat and six pots Of
potatoes, while FIVE half-crowns represented the
sum total of his earnings during the past ten
weeks; and with more force than elegance he
proceeded to characterize Mr.. Arch as an unmit-
igated liar. The investigation was. however,
continued, and at length a man was found who
corresponded in some degree to the happy in
dividual for whom search was being made. This
man, in addition to cultivating a small holding
to the extent of three roods twenty-five perches.
carried on the trade Of a hauler. His earnings
possibly amounted to the sum named, but out of
this he had to pay his son and his son-in-law.
He raised about forty bushel Of cone wheat tbe-
ing at the rate of sixty bushels to the acrel. but
he had no potatoes. Seven fat hogs, indeed, in
habited his stye. but they were the joint stock of
himself, his son and his son-in law.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12
THE N D JOURNAL

Has become the favorite issue of the week. The edi-
ton printed on that day is specially prepared, and is
steadily increasing in circulation from week to week.
1t is sought after with avidity by both readers and
shrewd, enterprising advertisers. The literary char
acter Of the Sunday Journal is as high as that Of any
paper In the United States. Besides the best writer's
in this country and In Europe, whose works have APP
peared, and win continue to appear in it's columns.
THE JOURNAL has introduced to the public many
writer's whose poems and sketches have now a fixed
and standard literary character and authority. While
drawing upon the best authors of the world for orig.
inal matter for It's columns, THE JOURNAL. has been
and will continue TO be specially the medium through
which local writers of the best class may find an APP
preciative audience. THE SUNDAY JOURNAL reaches
all points possible to be reached by railway early on
the day of It's publication.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12
Fire and Loss of Life.

LAWRENCE, Mass, April 10.-Fire broke out
at 1890 to-day in the dye-house, the smallest of
the Pemberton mills. and after q fierce conf1a-
grafton of nearly three hours. the building,
which was three stories high and sixty feet long.
was Quilted. The loss is $l00, 000, fully covered
by insurance.
At 1890 P. NJ. the roof fell, carrying down the
two floors below, and also fifteen men who were
fighting the flames. All but four of these men
escaped by climbing out of the ruins. Of the
four men burned, George Mckenzie was soon
rescued. but died at $3.50 p. NJ. from the effects of
his injuries. George Silva was quickly
extricated from the ruins, having
sustained severe, but not fatal injuries. John
Miller, a fireman, lay for nearly two hours on
the second floor, under a heap of debris, the
flames blazing near him. Millers jaw and left
leg were fractured, and his right leg was badly
burned from his hip to ankle. He will die. OF
the men who escaped, A. Briggs, p. Wilcox and
ID. H. Jamser were badly hurt. Fireman Nor
rill, of the Andoyer fire department, suffered the
amputatioh of several fingers. Geo. Quinby was
thrown from an engine and severely hurt. and
Florence Mccarthy had both legs fractured.
One has been amputated and the other must be
if he lives. The burned mill employed 700 hands.
It will take three weeks to rebuild it. 1t was
the only enc left standing on Jan. TO, 1860, when,
at 5 P. NJ, without a word of warning, the large
mill fell, burrying between 600 and 700 opera
tiveS.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12
THE WEEKLY JOURNAL.

The WEEKLY JOURNAL has been enlarged TO twelve
pages. making it the largest weekly paper circulating
In this territory. The weekly edition is a complete
compendium of the news of the week, with special
features of late and trustworthy market reports, and q
department Of industrial and agricultural inteili-
gence. carefully prepared by an editor of long expe.
rience. and Is printed and mailed the morning of the
day Oh which it Is dated. In these respects TIM
WEEKLY JOURNAL is superior to any mere agricult-
ural paper, for the field it covers is infinitely more
extensive than that which can be occupied by the
special press. The sermon of DIR. Talmags will APP
pear in THE WEEKLY JOURNAL each week. Special
item ton is called to the value Of THE WEEKLY
JOURNAL from q political point of view. All the po
litical news and editorials on current political ques-
tions, giving a full discussion Of all important issues
to the people. win be found in the columns Of THE
WEEKLY JOURNAL. The subscription price Of THH
WEEKLY JOURNAL is only ONE DOLLAR A YEAR,
postage prepaid. Special terms are made to clubs.
and a fine list of premiums is offered to accompany
subscriptions to the weekly edition. Sample copies
viii be furnished on application. For any informal
ton regarding THE JOURNAL address
JNO. G. NEW s. SON, Publishers
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12

WASHINGTON, April 10.-A number of promi-
nent Irishmen now in Washington, whose homes
are in different parts of this country, met co.
to Gladstone and Parnell In the shape
of two mammoth albums, identical
in all respects. In these albums
they propose to collect the editorial opinions of
American newspapers Published on Mr.. Glad
stones announcement of Thursday in the House
of Commons. For this purpose they desire
every newspaper published in cities in
the United States having a population
of 1000 and upwards, to send two
copies of their issues containing editorial
comments upon Gladstone's speech to j. d.
Connect, Washington. Such newspapers as are
not voluntarily contributed will be procured by
purchase. Among the gentlemen who were
present. tonight were Representative William
WOODBURY., OF Nevada; j. Keogh and J. ID. Con-
nell, of New York; Gen. A. G.. Malloy, of Texas;
Felix Brannigan. of Mississippi; Frank Burke
and James Ryan, of Washington.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12
Cold Comfort for shippers.

The belief prevails in railroad circles that
there will be no reduction in east-bound rates
with the opening of navigation. General freight
agents. who oppose making any reduction, say
that a rate based on 20 cents per 100 pounds,
Chicago to New York, barely pays the expense
of carrying the property, while what business is
carried at 25 cents per 100 pounds, the present
rate yields some margin. Further, it is be-
lieved that just as large a tonnage will be carried
at the higher as at the lower rates, as
the lake craft reduce their rates proportion
ately with the rail rates. Then again, all
roads are in the pool except the Chicago q At
lantic, and this road promises to maintain tariff
rates. Therefore no road will go below the 25-
cent rate. Lastly, the roads have determined
upon making a winter and summer rate and they
want to make it % cents per 100 pounds from
April /, to Nov. l and 30 cents per 100 pounds
from Chicago to New York from Nov. l to April
/. Should they, with the opening Of navi-
cation. drop even to 221 cents per 100
pounds 1t would be the more difficult on Nov. l to
advance rates to 30 cents per 100 pounds, and,
all things considered, it is thought best to make
no reduction by a majority of the roads.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-04-12
The Clouds Passing OF.

Railroad men who have studied the situation
carefully express the opinion that the skies are
clearing up somewhat, and that the worst re-
suits of the strike troubles and of the rate wars
are already felt The prospects are excellent for
the speedy settlement of the rate wars between
the Northwestern roads. which ten DAYS ago
looked decidedly ugly. Then, again, the entire
success of the trunk-line meeting, coming SO
quickly after the coal combination had been per-
fected, demonstrates that the great capitalists of
the nation are engaged in removing all POSSIBLE
ity Of ~squabblss between prominent corpora
lions The evident purpose is to pave the way
for q grand upward surge that shall be based
upon an absolute increase of earning capacity.
The transcontinenta war appears To be in a fair
way OF adjustment, as the railroad companies
Rre now negotiating with the Pacific Mail Steam.
ship Company in relation to the subject. The
latter matter, the transcontinental trouble, and
che strike upon the Gould system are now the
only bearish features on the horizon. The labor
strike Is surely bad enough, but 1t Is a matter
that practically causes loss to no capitalist ex-
cept to Mr.. Gould. He owns almost all of the
Missouri Pacific stock, and, as that road is the
principal one suffering from the strike, it should
not cause depression in other securities, or
aemoralize business generally.