The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-03-30
A CAR LOAD.

when some OF the boys closed h door,
and the car was taken out to Indian
apolis ''empty," as was supposed. On
arriving at Indianapolis, one of the
brakemen in the yard opened the car
door, when the goats jumped out one
after another, scattering in every direc-
ton. The crew. supposing they had
been shipped as freight, engaged in a
chase for four hours, capturing fifteen
of them. They then went to hunt the
agent to see the way bill to find out
how many goats had been shipped,
when they discovered the joke.-CoJ-
umbus Despatch.
81 am poor and unable to obtain
work. Will you kindly give me a dol
lar to buy medicine for my sick wife?"
pitcously whined q seedy individual to
a passing citizen.
"All bosh, no doubt-well, here's
the money; don't bother me again."
was the ~ungracious reply, as he tossed
him a silver dollar.
Excuse me, sir, but have you no.
tlced the latest quotations." continued
the secdy one, nervously lingering the
coin; ''allow me to trouble you for the
other twenty-one s."-Binghampton
Republican.
STRUCK A NAN
Smith-Brown, I am glad to see you
looking so we'll and prosperous. Big
change since l saw you three months
ago. Have you struck n bonanza?
Brownies. You know I am one of
the heirs to the Hyde estate in Eng
land, worth over three hundred millions
of dollars2
Smith (cxcitedly)-Certainly. You
don't mean to tell me that the thing is
settled?
I've dropped all claims, and am now
giving close attention to business. !
should say I had struck a bonanzal
OF T
She (on board the yacht Eaglewing)
How gloriously the fresh breeze fills
the sails, Mr.. De Salt!
He-Ya'as, the sails are full.
She-And how Respondent the moon
is, Mr.. De Salt!
He-Ya'as, the moons full.
She getting a little tired)-Ah-do
you know where the captain is, Mr.. De
Salt2
He-Er-ya'as, below. He's full, too.
REMARKABLE TINE.
"Im not a sprint runner" said
Charley, ''but I made fifty yards once
in remarkably quick time. It was just
that far from the front door to the gate,
and my girls father held the dog and
allowed me ten seconds to clear the dis
~tancc."
81 grasp the situation" replied Gus,
S(h,,f iffr x,,1, -. ko, ,oo-, : -~A
fast time"
'No, but when 1 reached the gate l
had eight seconds to spare. "-NeW York
Sun.
At the funeral of an oil-country resi-
dent, who had been blown up with
nitro-glycerine, a woman who was
taking a last sad look at the remains
said:
81 don't see nothin' but a collar but
ton an a piece of plug tobacco"
eyes, madam" replied the under
taker. revercntly, THAT is all that was
ever found. "-Harper's Bazar.
DOTS AND DAsnEs.
IT'S the little things that tell-espe-
cially the little brothers and sisters.
"TRy not the pass" the old man said,
but the old man wasn't a New York
legislator.
"Coa hog to rog. Jags is not 100."
This looks funny, and it is to expert
telegraph operators. What tried to go
over the wire was: "Come home to
Rome. James is not WE'LL"
AN Englishman in Madras has, by a
lucky accident, made a photograph of
a tiger in the act of Selling its prey. It
was only a partial success, however, as
he didn't have time to tell the beast to
'look pleasant"
BANK cashiers, as a rule, are opposed
to silver dollars. They don't want
them in the banks. There is reason in
this. A bank officer going suddenly to
Canada couldn't carry silver dollars
enough with him to last a week.
A LITTLE New York boy, whose con.
duct made his mother say that she
feared he did not pray, replied, eyes,
I do; l do pray every night that God
will make you and pa like my ways
better"
A PHnANTHRoPIsT asked the daugh-
ter Of q rich manufacturer, who employs
hundreds of men, if she ever did any
was the reply, ''but I rub mine with
glycerine and oatmeal every night"
ACTIVE and Passive. - Teacher:
CHOW, Klaus, if I say the father
blessed his six children, is that active
or passive7" s"That is active" "Cor-
rect, and what is passiveW "The
father was blessed with six children"
A W%oULD-BE Detective.-'Do you
want to be a detectivcY' eyes, Herr
Inspector" "Have you had expert
ence2" II have once discovered a MUIR