Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1886-07-29
JOHNS WIFE.

So you think my wife is beautifulln
aid my friend, John Brown.
When John asked this question we
were sitting together cozily in the room
he called ''his den," because, as he said,
ne had things in its as dusty, disordered
and unarranged as he pleased. However,
this was little delusion, in my friends
mind; have always had keener obser-
vation of triies than John, and as I
looked around his coy study saw in
dications that, though his papers were
left religiously untouched, and If he laid
a book down on its face open it would
stay there month undisturbed, still a
feminine hand stole in when the grand
lord and master of this confusion was
absent and applied many doft touch
and many gentle whisk Of the duster,
SO keeping his disorder endurable to him
self while he fondly imagined that he
was keeping it uncomfortable to every one
else. There we sat, I say, before his
cozy, open fire, for John always would
have little wood for his den, cost what
it might, when John asked me if I
thought his wife beautiful.
'sWhy, no, said frankly.
"But, " said john, looking little sur
prised, 81 saw you look at her at table
with glances call precious near admira-
ton, my boy"
"Why yes,n said I, ''that is true,
too"
'Then," said John, after few mo-
ments' thoughtful pull at his pipe, '.you
say she is not beautiful"
''No," said L
'Passable, eh" said John, looking at
me with the kind of artistic sarcasm in
his face which l remembered his having
cultivated SO successfully in our college
days.
NO" said again, with provoking
calmness and as much indifference as I
could assume.
"Hello," (" cried John, waking up a lit
tie; perhaps you'll tell me now what
she is, if neither b autiful nor passable /;
for I don't see anything left but hideous
and if you say that III throw YOU out Of
the window. Now can tell you she is
beautiful. .
eYes,' said 7 again, with the most
stndied listlessness. II believe you.'
"Come, now," said John sitting 4
little straighter, "drop that drawl YOU
used to think SO fine when you were q
senior, and speak out. You would Sc.
she is lovely if you conld know her
WELL
every likely, said I, "but you know
l have not seen her at all. .
sBut," said John, opening his ewes
very wide. Chat was my wife at the
table. I introduced you"
Exactly" said I; sT could see small
bit of her."
Now, l must say that my friend John
Brown was an excellent fellow and a
very fair scholar in college by dint Of
prodigious digging, which same splendid
application (for, after all, what can the
greatest genius do without laborD had
given him an honorable success in bnsi,
ness; but he had not very quick mind
though very safe one. And SO when ]
remarked that I had seen but small bi,
OF his wife, he simply stared at me ii
silence. After amusing myself with his
vacant countenance and wide open ewes.
began to expound.
Suppose, my dear fellow I said.
THAT picture Of the Madonna were sci
before me all carefully curtained but /
square inch Of the forehead. Now, tell
me, will you, you who stood mum.
Der was it in our class2 something out
rageously high-could say whether thai
Madonna were beautiful or not9 Now
have looked ut your wife through the
square-inch hole Of one session at table
and, if even the complexion Of Dian.
peeped through that hole, how on eartI
could tell what the whole would appear
viewed by day and night, in parlor and
study and kitchen, and at all meals
Don't you see that. as / said have seen