The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1886-01-07
WIT AND HUMOR.

II was only dude who came up to-day,
Then gust Of wind came and blew it away;
White were It's hands as the December snow,
1t wanted to stay, but the wind made it go.
Only dude, with its cane in its mouth,
And it chok.d on the knob as the wind blew
It south;
Pale was its forehead and slim were it's pants;
They were made from a garter of enc OF his
aunts.
Only a dude, in the height of its pride,
And it trpped on hair, and it fell down and
died;
We searched in its pockets for money in vain
1t had no more money than the poor thing
had brain.
IT was only q dude, and they laid it away
ROBBED in a tape-ne it's sleeping to-day;
Only dude, and it sleeps in the ground,
And will Test till old Gabriel screeches around.
St Louis Whip.
Precocious boy (munching the fruit
of the date-tree): Mamma, if l eat
dates enough will l grow up to be an
almanac?"
He wished to impress feeling for
neatness upon his olive branches, and,
pointing to the surf, observed to them:
You will perceive that even the sea is
tidey. "-Boston Gazette.
How much plcasantcr this world
would be to live in were it as easy to
60 to bed at night as it is to remain
there in the morning, and as easy to
get up in the morning as it is to talk
Of getting up when you 60 to bed!
| Tho wife of a politician, who has an
eye for the main chance. keeps n scrap
book of all the uncomplimentary things
printed about her husband, which she
is to index for ready reference in sea-
sons of domestic unpleasantness.
At Dinuer.- Horatio (thought to
have proposed to Miss Lucy)-"Do
you like ginger ale, Miss Lucy?"
Miss Lucy-"No, don't like any
thing that pops, except champagne.
Allpresent Gin chorus)-"We thought
So"
A poet writes: Il send you my
poem, but fear l made mistake in
not writing {. refrain to it" Never
mind, we shall do the refralning for
you. The way in which we shall re-
frain from printing it will finish the
poem beautifully.-N \. Tribune.
Instead of the old-fashioned "Yes,
ma am and mo, ma'am,' which
have been discarded by modern
Madame Etiquct, fashionable children
arc taught to say. Yes, mamma"
mo, papa" "Ycs, Mrs. Smith, In
the revolving of fashion probably the
antique Yes. forsooth," will be the
next substitute.
A grocer's boy complained to his
employer that he was worked too hard
and did not get sufficient rest. Il
know, Johnny" admitted the grocer,
"that you are kept pretty busy most
of the time, but iii see what can be
done. Perhaps when cold weather sets
in I'll let you draw molasscs once in a
while. "-B0ston Journal.
Why She Wcpt.-"I SEQ by cable
Dispatch" said Il fashionable uptown
lady, very much distressed, 'that the
eldest sou of Lord knowgood is dead. "
WHO is Lord Knowgood, asked the
fashionable lady's husband.
IL only know that he is member
of the English aristocracy," she re-
piled, wiping away the tears.
Loss of Appetite. You look sick.
WHATS the matter with you anyhow?'
said Gus dc Smith on meeting Gil
hooly. My stomach is in an awful
fix. I've lost my appetite for whisky
can't drink drop" Lost your APP
petite for whisky, have you? Well, |
pity tho poor devil who finds it., unless
! lie has credit at the saloons. - Teas
Sytings.
MY dear. look down below" said