The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-12-08
Pith and Point.

the elderly maiden as she surveyed her face
in haDd-glass Merchant TrdUeier.
ONE thing can be said in favor of the ice
man. If he has any left over he doesn't
warm it up for breakfast DdnSUHie Breeze.
THE smallest bonnets ever seen at all are
coming into fashion The prices, however,
are still perceptible to the ordinary vision
Boston Post.
A PosT-oFFIcE clerk at Portland Oregon,
in making ont list Of uncaled for letters,
included one addressed to his wife, and it
was advertised.
PAPER shoes are now made in England
with success. They are made of papier-
mache, and answer in all respects the pur-
poses of leather.
BREv1TY as the means Of expressive state
ment is illustrated in the following terse
epitaph which is quoted in Chdnbers' Jour-
ndE " Died of thin shoes, January, 1889"
a SINGLE sheet of paper seventy-two
inches wide and seven and three-fourths miles
long was made without break in mill at
Watertown, y. Y. not long since. 1t
weighed 2,207 pounds.
A PARsoNyILLE boy conscientiously OBJ
iects to taking Ayers pills, " because" he
says, I" if them pills is Ayers pills, why
jest let Aver take 'em. I don't want what
belongs to him. "-Hessenger.
SOMEBODY stole two hens i'm Peoria. ILL.,.
and paper there closes vigorous article
on the subject with the words: "The guilty
wretches have not yet been caught, but
startling developments are on the eve of
exploding"
A Personal in the New York Heraid; "a
gentleman of wealth and responsibility from
the West will pay well for the introduction
of his family into the higher circles of fash
ionable society in New York. All commune
cations strictly confidential"
a POPLAR tree was recently cut down
near New Middleton, Ind, that measured
y fna in ,.irp F.r
tree made twelve thousand shingles, one
thousand rails, six hundred feet of lumber
and twenty-five cords of stove-wood.
ONE of the largest and finest gold nuggets
ever unearthed in California is now on ex-
hibtion in San Francisco. 1t is about the
size of an ordinary Derby hat, weighs
thirty-tive pounds and is worth about $4,000.
Great "gobs" of gold hang out of its sides.
TwENTY-s1X years ago the steamer Pacific
burned and sank in the Ohio river at Union
town Ky. The other day a hogshead was
dug up from the wreck, and being opened,
the tobacco within was found to be as bright
and good apparently as when it was packed.
A QUILT containing 3,1G2 pieces of calico
has just been completed by Mrs. Matte
Wooten of Viola, Tenn. No two pieces in
the quilt are alike, each one having been
taken from different pieces of calico. 1t
required several years to gather material for
this work.
getting out of bed every morning at four
o'clock to feed the stock will be mad all
over when informed that the actual expert
ments prove that horse can live eleven
days and COW nine without food.-Detrou
Free Press.
:" [ SEE you fry beefsteak," remarked the
tramp with his mouth full. yes" said
the woman, shortly; "how would you have
it cooked? Roasted?" " No: certainly not
Broied, madame, broiled. may be
tramp" he added, plaintively, but I'm no
ostrich. "-LUe.
DIsHEARTEND young clergyman to his
wife on returning from service: THAT was
the worst sermon | ever preached. l don't
know what | shall do" " Oh, no. dear"
replied his wife, tenderly, "I have heard
you preach worse than that many a time."-
chicago LiUing church.
WHERE do you come FROM" asked a
Dallas man of neighbor " I'm just from
the fair grounds" g Have the judges of
live stock awarded the prize to the biggest
JACKIE" They have" Did my uncle or
my father get it?'' L" Neither of them. A
strange donkey from eastern Texas got the
prize. Uterus SQtings.
Mrs. SHovEN of Rouses Point was evil
IDENTIFY an accomplished cook. Her eptaph
reads:
Underneath this crust
OF Eleanor Bachelor shoveni
Well versed in the arts
And the lucrative trade of the oven"
Mrs. MUSHROOM: melinda, now that
Mrs. Dec Virgins has gone, let me tell you
again never to make any allusion to pas
packing business before company Me-
linda: Why, ma, ] didn't say anything
about pork" Mrs. Mushroom: " No; but
you spoke about having sty on your eye,
and it mortified me terribly. '-Rdmbler.
WADE's Fiber and Fobric reports the in
vention of machine that sews on buttons
= IL hut Vtrill ,I,
of four or five girls, and will do it better,
because it never Sights its work. but puts
in just the number of stitches it is gagged
for. 1t will sew on buttons with two or four
holes equally WELL and at the rate of six
per minute with twelve stitches in each.
FEW days ago an ugly-looking and
poorly-dressed tramp called at a house
ON Prospect street and inquired for a
hat. One was brought out which had
done good and recent services the itin-
Grating philosopher looked it over a mo-
ment and then, remarking that it was " too
low in the crown to be in style" declined to
accept the gift and departed. Clinton CNdss)
CoUrdnt.
Sucking colt in Santa Rosa, Cal, found
half-flled sack of barley in the barn. and,
after nlbbling at it, picked it up with its
teeth and carried it to its dam, who was
tied fifty feet away, and put it down in front
OF her. The owner saw this, took away the
bag, and hid it in another part of the barn
The colt found it again, and again carried it
to its mother, who this time was allowed to
eat the grain
The HUNGRY PARsoN.-Widow Flapiack:
I'm glad, parson, that steps are being
taken to prevent the determination of the
American singing birds" Parson Surplus
(whO has been invited to dinner: . So
am l, Widow Flapjack, but at the same
time | am grateful to Providence that
chickens don't know how to sing" Bring
ON the fried chicken, Betsy" said the
Widow Flapjack. -Teras SUtingS.
In illustration of the simplicity of the old
staging times it is related that General Yea
zie of the Veazie bank Bangor, hired $780,
900 in cash of the Suffolk bank of Boston.
The money, in gold and silver, was put into
boxes and transported all the way to Ban
gor on stages without any guard. They at
tracted no more attention than would any
equal number of boxes of eggs, and at night
they were put in the stage offices and re-
manned there safely until the next morn
ing-AugUStd (Ne) Farmer
THE wars of Europe since the sixteenth
century present the following Wars under
taken for the acquisition of territory, forty
four; for the levy of tributes, Twenty-Five;
for reprisals, twenty-four; TO decide ques-
lions of honor or prerogatives, eight; from
claims relative to the possession of territory
six; from claims to crowns, forty-four; from
preteXts of assistance to an ally, thirty:
fr. .tx oil