The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1886-07-11
HUMORS OF THE BAR.
Nautical Talk on the Witness Stand
Winning over the COlOred
Brothers, Etc.

Mr.. Cnarle dudley warner VINO
conducts the Editors Drawer depart
ment of Harper's Magazine, includes in
his latest anecdotes, the following:
There is a lawyer in Boston who is in
the habit at times of addressing indi-
vidual jurymen when inattentiye or
restless and some times his drguaIea-
tum ad hOminem is effective. Some time
ago, he vas trying a case against a
street railway company, and there was
an old sailor on the jury who seemed to
give Ino heed to what either counsel
said. The lawyer made his most elo-
quent app ais, but all in vain. Finally
he stepped in front of the sailor and
said: mi. Juryman, l will tell you
just how this happened. The plaintiff
was in command of the outward bound
open car. and stood in her starboard
channels. Along came the inward close
car, and just as their bows met she
jumped the track, sheered to port and
knocked the plaintiff OF and ran over
him." The sailor vas all attention after
this version of the affair, and Joined in
q S, 900 verdict for the injured man.
Another time he was trying a case
against the city of Lawrence for a stout
woman Of rather unprepossessing ap-
pearance. Right behind the foreman
sat a colored juryman who would weigh
nearly 300 pounds. The defect in the
street was very slight, and the CO ored
man evidently took no stock in the
claim. Argument, persuasion, and
Sathos were alike lost on him. Then
the lawyer, who is rather q smal-slzed
man, said: Mr.. Foreman, the effect
was very slight, but the streets of the
city should be safe for all classes OF
people. the rich and the poor, the old
and the young, the slight and the stout.
You are slender, and if YOU had been
there you would not have fallen, but
you see nat the gentleman behind you
and / are about the same build. Now
We and this poor woman have just as
good a right in the street as you have"
The Negroes face frightened up and
when the jury retired, he persistently
voted for 81, 900 damages, until at
last he was induced to agree with the
others on a moderate verdict.
Many years ago there was a Judge in
Boston who was more noted for his
sound judgment and great knowledge
of law than for his courtesy TO counsel or
sutton. One day at the opening of a
term of this court q large number of
gentlemen drawn as jurors begged to be
excused from serving. As one after an
other gave his reasons, 4 frown began
to grow on the judges face. Another
man asked TO be let of.
what for?'
"Icannot hear readily, and am afraid
Il /. n - ~ araH eli The aufAanna -
How long have you been deaf?"
asked tue judge, in q low tone
About ten years"
Can you hear an ordinary converse
ton? Can you hear me now? ?" said
the judge" dropping his voice to a
whisper.
Ion. yes, sir. l can hear YOU"
The Judge looked sternly at him 4 full
minute. Then he said: Mr.. Clerk,
excuse this man. IL he is deaf, we do
not want him, and il he is a liar we do
not want him."
No more excuses were made that day.
At another time an eminent lawyer
was arguing a case before the judge,
who grew impatient and said
Your point is perfectly understood
by the court; please make your argu-
ment as short as possible"
Il I'M making 1t as short as possible,
said the lawyer, as he proceeded.
After q few minutes the judge inter
rupted him again, saying, You are
taking too ucn time; We rave many
cases 30 hear, and l want you to under
stand that l am sitting for the dispatch
Of business"
II beg your pardon" said the old
lawyer, bowling low, Il thought your
honor was sitting here to administer
justice"
He was suffered to proceed.