The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-07-14
A WARNING EXAMPLE.
Thrilling Story Of the Value Of Mottoe'
In Territorial journalism.

Thrilling story Of the Value Of Notices
In Territorial Journalism.
One or two persons have suggested
that this paper would get along better
if it had motto. They may be right
"Free and Unshackled," 'Our Aim
the Peoples Welfare" and Truth is
Mighty and Occasionally Prevails"
are all good, secondhand notices,
somewhat worn along the edges but
still in pretty fair condition. We have
also thought of several others, includ-
ing keep off the Grass Isle Sempcr
Tyrannis" and Free Thought, Free
Speech and Free Lunch" but have SC
far refrained from running up any OF
them. We have been influenced in the
matter somewhat by the remembrance
of one H. Junius Browne.
Mr. Browne was pale, scholarly
bubble who came out to the frisky and
vivacious West to engage in the hon
orable profession of journalism. He
settled down at u place called Hicks
Hollow and brought out the Weekly
Palladium. Right under the head he
put this motto in large, square
shouldered type: Here Shall the
Press the Peoples Right Maintain;
Unaw,d by Influence and Unbribed by
Gain" On another page he an
nounced: mo Pent-up Utica Con-
tracts our Powers" ''Policy is an Idol
Principle God" Founded by II.
Junius Browne. Cordwood, Fresh
Hay and other Country Produce taken
the same as Cash.
Junius ran the paper along during
the summer and it began to look as if
he would soon have to begin on diet
of notices. He was canvassing the
prospect of roast motto on toasted
platitude when the fall campaign slid
in on the community.
The Palladium began to talk about
the best men for the different offices
when one day candidate for county
sheriff came in and said:
"Mr. Browne. air you goin' to sup
port me for sheriff."
"Well, Mr.. Snoozenberry, really I
couldn't say as yet--yOu know the
Palladium always supports the best
man and / don't know either of you"
'Well, I'll admit amt the best man,
the other Teller is near onto fifty
pounds heavier than me and hard
hitter but I'm quicker on the draw.
Now eff sign for yer paper and pay in
advance will my qualifications fer the
Office be all hunk?"
swell, you SEE"
"S'pose l make it two copies?"
"Yes, but"
"Call it three, but that's the best
can do"
.Oh, we'll that'll be all right-Tm
convinced you're the man for the
place."
So the Palladium poured out Its
wrath on McDeadeye, the other candi.
date. McDeadeye was an unfit man
for the important office; McDeadoye
had record back in the States which
would ill bear the searching calcium
light of public investigation; and the
worst of it was McDeadeye couldn'
get it. But McDeadeye did get it and
Snoozenbcrry went where the wood
bine climbeth.
A few days after McDeadeye came
into the Office of the Weekly Palladium
and said:
"Mr. Browne, b'lieve you referred
to my past record in that Dismal Wal
NV yournp"
oil d-don't quite remember
Colonel McD-d-deadhead, p-p-p'r APP
l did, it's all right, though, Colonel.
"Oh yes, it's all right, er will be
that's what come in fer-to make i
, all right. Blieve you said you'd lik
ter see my recordP"
. "Y-y-yes, l did say that"
swell, sir, here tits. six parts to it
and it speaks for itself--just waitin,
, for the formerality of an introduction
, when it. talk right out. Mr.. Browne
= this Is Mr.. Colt, who will address yo1
T for few moments on the vital issue
| of the day"
. Then he began to shoot. When tn
first gun was empty he threw it at tn
r printer who had crawled under the i'm
, posing stone and produced another
: saying: 81 have the pleasure NV inter
/, ducing to yer favorable notice Mr.
, Smith-&-Wesson, the well-knOwl
tenor, who will entertain you with
, little vocal music!"
: Another slice of bombardment ant
= he said: "Ladies and gentlemen,
. know you will all be pleased to NEE
Mr.. Remington, a gentleman con
nected with the navy, who will give hi
lecture, entitled 'Deep-sea Sounding
in the Human System accompanied
A by Illustrations"
At the conclusion of this speaker
k remarks he picked up the shOotin:
9 irons, kicked the printer through tn
: upper sash of window and went out
A few days after another man tool
9 hold of the Palladium. He didn'
know much about the business but h
changed the name of the paper an,
ierked off the notices. The mex
week it came out like this:
i HICKS HOLLOW HOTTER
:, IT HooTs FOR ALL!
:. :. If any of you ducks want the Hooter don
forget that
Now is the Time to Subscribe.
: -EStelline Cd. ~ Bell
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