The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-02-02
TIE GLORY.

S"SS ietAS N"oJoh3 nv ny
knee, and tho tender blue eyes look ut
me, ''Tell me, Popsie. just oncs more,
what did you do when you went to
ware" And then l tell of the autumn
day when the Forty-scventh marched
away; how Cromwell died at Jackson
Town, and Miles on Corlnth fields went
down. "But how many rebels, tell me
true, did you kill then, and the whole
war through" And | tell him hen
with eager zcst how 10 Reed blew up q
Timber chest. But the Major sticks to
his question still, GLOW many rebels
did you kill?" So 1 tell him near the
set of sun, the charge was made and the
battle won. And how, the day Mcclure
was shot, when Vicksburg's fight was
fierce and hot, brave Sam Law took G..
company in through the flame and smoke
of the batteries din. How over our
heads the battle broke with screaming
shell and saber stroke, and he wanted
to know, the little elf, "But how many
men did you Kill yourself Say, tell
me, Popsic, say you will-IIow many
rebels did you kill 2" So l told him the
truth, as near as might bc-as many of
them as they did of me.--BUKDErrE.
A SQUARE MEAL
He heard several old miners, who had
for many years been living n rough
frontier life, discussing what they would
do when they had ''madc their pilcs'
and could return with riches ito the
Statcs.n
"Wcll," said one grizzly old veteran,
"1 know what I'll do. I'll 90 us
straight rs the cars'll take me to New
York, and when l get there I'll make a
bee line for Dclmonico's and I'll get the
blankcdly .blankedest dinner that money
can buy. l don't care if it cost mc $50,
I'll have it,"
"Now, what do you think you would
Order" qucricd Fred, with some curl
osity, elf you were to go into Dclmon-
ico's for a fiity-dollnr dinner"
"Wcll, l dunno; but l guccs I'd have
some ham and cggs-ycs l would; I'd
have ham and cggsw-Hote! Gazette.
THE SAFE SIDE.
81 want you to prepare plans for a
S75, 900 residence" he said to a prom
inent Baltimore architect a year or two
ago.
Exactly, sir. What is your bust
ness, pleasew
IL am a Speculation, sir. What has
that to do With the plans2"
ooh, a great deal. In such cases we
always plan the basement. and then
wait a year to see whether the hole in
the ground is sold by the sheriff or the
Spectator is able to go ahead. I'll
plan. your basement ut once, sir"
The hole was sold by the sheriff the
other day. Wall Street News.
HIS sYMPATHIEs
Excited Individual-See here, Mr..
Bangs, you are a scoundrel of the first
water. When 1 bought that horse l
supposed I was getting a good, sound
animal, but he's spawned and blind,
and got the heavcs. Now, 1 want to
know what you're going to do about it?
Bangs-Something ought to be done,
that's a fact.
Excited Individual-Well, I should
say there had.
Bangs-Well, after praycr-mecting
mary sugeon; it's a shame to have that
FRED's CCP.
Little Fred had a way of using his
left hand, and consequently often spill
ing his milk. His mother, who wished
to break him of the habit, said one day:
CHOW, Freddie, if you spill your milk
again you will have to have your supper
upstairs in the nursery"
The next night over went the milk,
and before his mother had a chance to
speak, the child looked up at her
brightly, and said, ooh, mamma, that
reminds me of a verse I learned in tho
Bible, My cup runneth vcr.'"-Har-
per's Razar.
STEP-HUSBAND.
Judge Ito negro woman who had been
summoned as q witness)-Is this man
your husband
Woman-He's my step-husban'.
Judge-What
Womnn-I say dat de gennerman is
my step-husban'.
Judge-How do you make that
Woman-Wall, sab, yer see dat jes'
bout dc time nv fust husban' wuZ
buried, dis gennerman come er steppin'
er long an I married him.-Arkansau
Irauelcr.
WHEN STREET CARS RUN FAST.
'Do the West Side cars run as fast as
this2" inquired a stranger of his neigh
Dor as they skipped along on a State
street cable train.
eyes, on certain occasions"
"When, for instanceW
"When the last car for the night. is
about a block away and you are trying
to catch it."-Chicago Herald.
A FAMILY JAR.
Husband (mildly)-You must remem-
Der, my dear, that the most patient per-
that ever lived was a man.
Wife (impatiently)--Oh, don't talk to
about the patience of Job. Think
0f Miro Iahl tho natianna fhot mar mo