The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1886-04-01
HOSTESS AND GUESTS.
The Reciprocal Obligations which Cour-
tesy Imposes ON Them.

What are the reciprocal obligations
of a hostess and guestp" is question
often asked. The replies are as varied
as are the natures of individuals. One
says, 'your time must be wholly given
up to guest who remains at night un-
der your roof. If necessary the order
of the household must be set aside to
provide entertainment. In short,
guest should be regarded as necessary
evil as far as interruption to the even
tenor of the way of the household is
concerned"
Another says: s'The guest visits you
to entertain you; she must pay for her
place, and she must take you as she
finds you; she is visiting you and must
not do anything else. The fashion some
women have of visiting friends in the
city, and then going out whenever they
ike to call upon an acquaintance, seems
70 me like making o convenience of the
hostess II q friend came to spend q
week with me, and from my house went
to spend a day with another friend
whom did not know, should consider
her rude and should not soon invite her
again"
These two views are the extremes, but
the truth lies in the golden mean. 1t
is, of course, compliment to person
to invite her for long or shorter time.
But the visitor is not necessarily an
obliged party. nor is she conferring an
obligation. The English custom Of Civ
ing the guest perfect liberty of action
does not obtain here TO any great de-
gree, the appointments of our houses as
a rule not being adapted to this mode of
entertainment. Ii a guest from the
country visits US, we should certainly
ascertain whether she desires to visit
friends who can not entertain her over
night. 1t would, however, be great dis
courtesy should guest make her enter
tainer's house a place of convenience
whence she may go and spend days at
time, returning when it seems to her
proper. 1t is impossible to conceive of
well-bred persons committing SO great
breach of good manners, and yet
have known this to be done by persons
who consider themselves well bred.
An equally discourteous proceeding
On the part of the hostess has come un-
der my observation, where guest said
she would like to spend day with one
of her friends, who lived long distance
from her own home, but within an
hours ride by rail from the house at
which she was visiting. She was. how
ever, given so plainly to understand
that she was visiting, and that her time
belonged to her hostess, that she did
not make the proposed visit, and re-
turned home with new ideas of enter
tainment.
When friend from the country is in
vited for long visit, find out what she
would like to do; whether there are
friends to be visited and shopping to be
done, aud plan these matters at the be-
ginning Of the visit. so that the ar
rangement Of time may be satisfactorily
made. The pleasure of the visit will
then be appreciated by hostess and
guest. 1t is very inconsiderate to invite
guests in Winter, unless you are sure
you can make them as comfortable as
they would be at home. Find out
whether they prefer warm or cold bed
rooms, and arrange accordingly. This
is an elementary principle of hospitality
which is, however, too often disregard
ed.-M Y. Commercial Advertiser.