Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-06
BRIGHT BITS.

SUMNER THEATRICALs: ''Do you pass the
perfeshP" ssbed seedy individual of the
doorkeeper of the theatre. what is your
professionY" ''I'm a tramp" 'Pass right
in. You're one of us, see.3-7Gd- Bits.
WHATS the matter with your face, Bron-
SOM"
injured by revolver"
"Oho! Fooling with pistol, ehp'
BIER.
their eyes. We reckon that Rate Is right.
When number of women are conversing
at the same time it is all that anv one OF them
can do with her ears to hear herself talk
LoloeH Cfttssn.
NEVER talk in your sleep. A Palmer young
man who had made up his mind to propose to
his girl the next evening became 50 much &C.
cupied with the question of how it was to be
done that he even talked about it in his sleep,
His room mate heard it, and calling on the
girl tne next AFTERNOON was accepted.-PaL-
taer Journal.
A PROMINENT resident OF Tensas parish. La.
was over at Cooper's Wells the other day,
when an enthusiastic prohibtionist tackled
MIN with whats the prohibition news from
your section, my friend9" "Well. really. 1
don't know" was the answer. "We have
leen 80 confounded busy fighting water all
spring and summer that don't believe any
Of us has found time to fight whisky yet."-
Matches Aiss.) Democrat.
A LITTLE GIRL who had been told that when
it was laundering 1t was God talking was out
on the lawn one day not long ago playing with
her dolls. Her mother, seeing a storm com
ing up. called to little Alice to hurry and come
in. She began picking up her playthings, but
before she got them all 1t Numbered, when
she exclaimed "Oh, bod, don't raise such q
fuss and scOld so. I'm hurrying fas' as can. -
Cincinnati Inquirer.
II SAW reference to 'dirigible balloons in
the paper Fangle," remarked Snaggs; "what
are they?"
"'Dirigible' means manageable: so. OF
ronrse, 'dirigible balloons are balloons that
can be managed.
"Oh! see. Say, Fangle:'
swell"
"Do you think there will ever be such
things as dirigible wives?"-Tyd- Bits.
BLANK crop report was sent out by a
Cleveland paper for the farmers to fill out,
and the other day one of them came back
with the following written on the blank side
in pencil: "All we've got in this neighbor-
hood is three widders. two school ma'ams, a
patch of wheat, the hog cholera, too much
rain. about fifty acres Eaters, and a durn fool
who married cross-eyed gal because she
owns eighty sheep and n mule, which the
same is me. and no more at present."-Th
Independent.
1T mas been noticed that for some time St
Louis has had nothing to say about holding
the anniversary celebration of the discovery
of America in that city. The reason for the
silence has just leaked out. At the last meet
ing for thif purpose St. Louis editor aston
lshed bis colleagues by rising aud askin Z
whether any correspondence had been held
with Mr.. Columbus. and whether or not that
gentleman had expressed a willingness to at
lend. ST. Louis Is waiting to hear from Co.
Chicago Tribune.
WIEN Mr.. Boozle landed in New York from
Liverpool steamer the other day he gave
every appearance of having had a long and
severe tussel with the flowing bowl A friend
was on the dock TO meet him, and when he
perceived his condition he said: "Are there
water-tight compartments in your shin,
BoozleP Fletcher life. Chuck full OF 'em -
II thought so. And you had one, didn't Won ?''
~ d'nOw. Why%' You don't look as
though drop of water got into you during
the entire voyage. -TeoGs Siftin0s.