Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-09-02
BRIGHT BITS.

THE schoelboy of the olden time used to
know something Of the "switchmeu's STRIKE"
-SBtcer.
JUDGE-Have you anything to say before
the court passes sentence upon your
PrisoneT-Well, all l got to say Is, / hope
yer hon0r'll consider the extreme youth OF my
lawyer, an let me OFF easy PUCK.
"DID you ever see ANYTHING like this?" said
young lady At a church fair, when railing
was in progress.
"Quly once" replied he,
when was that. dear?"
"O1oe on q train out West, when it was
robbed by bandits" was the gentle response
WeI.
WHAT are you doing, Reginald3" asked
Reginalu's wife, as she saw him Law down the
two year-old and take up the twin babies
who were CRYING like good ones.
"Only an example in addition, my dear, he
responded YEARLY.
81 don't understand"
- put down one, and am CARVING two,
that's all" aud he began the midnight walk
ing match I'd Bits.
THE Place to Write Plainly.-Banker-
Whist very ilegible signature old Money
bags has! had one Of his checks to-day and
the name was scarcely decipherable.
Baker-I never saw his signature but once
Then it was almost plain enough for blind
man to read.
Banker-Where did you see tP
Baker-Opposite the sum of $40 on a sub
scription list.-HdrDe,'s Bnsar.
ROBINSON is short sighted. and wears spec
| tacles. Going along the Strand last week he
tired on the foot of very pretty young lady.
Awkward fellow" said she. don't you see2
And you wear spectacles, too.''
Robinson, who is nothing IL not polite,
and is given to badnage a la Franchise,
smiled sweetly as he contemplated the injured
| member. Il beg yopr pardon, madam" said
| he. ''but should need microscope to see
your foot.'-The Lond n Globe.
pANAMA riNlT rharo N ,~n
cancy in our company now if you want it..
| The salary is 500. 600.
Omaha Man-Whew / should say do want
tt-unless the cost of living is very high down
| there"
mo; the cost of living ia low"
| continueP'
There will be no reduction whatever so
| long as the ch argos for drugs and embalming
are 20 exhorbitant."-Om World.
TIE Rats aud the Mice.-A Rat one day
went to the Owner of the House in which he
had taken up his Quarters and SAID: II must
| Emphatically Protest against the way tho
| Mice are coming IN here to Disturb us Rats.
| Our Patience, assure Won, is Completely Ex-
| hausted with the Bold-Faced Intruders on
our Domain"
"Ah! but this is the first time knew even
had Rats" replied the Owner. 81 will not
| only Make War on the Mice, but on the Other
Vermn as we'll" Tbersupon he Instituted
such Vigorous Measures that the Premises
! NoTS SpOu OiedT0u Oh MI hOuontS. MGr0l:
| The Quarrels OF ONCE Seekers are the SALIVA
ton of the Taxpayer.-Detrot Free Press.
A GENTLEMAN travelling through the noun
| famous and thinlv settled districts Of North
| Carolina was overtaken by severe stof -,
| AS he was on horseback, and therefere quite
unprotected, he behsld with delight q Ios
cabin in the distance. and speedily botook
mself thither the old farmer crested him
with true Southern hospitality. and he soon
found himself seated at the dinner table be-
side 1.-THE old CONAN" as his host designate
his wife, while enc by one a seemingly end
less file of daughters entered the room. Turn
ing to the farmer, he mildly observed: 'sYou
have hne family of daughters, sir :" "well -
said the Old man mournfully, we've besr
kinder unfortunate with our darters, The
chimbly fell in and killed all but nine or
'em." The historian dares not guess how
many there were at first.-Harper's Na0a.
| iii