Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-01-22
BRIGHT BITS.

"OH, our teacher. Miss Jones, IS a perfect
amazon.' rem arked pupil Of south sac
puhhc school. while couy er,Ing with a friend.
- es. s>scEted the second party, no was
better read in geOg Apply than IN history, II
nave noticed that she has an awful big
N nth '-ChicHg0 telegram.
"IF the young gentleman who is paying at
tenuOn 20 an u->trptt belle VIII 10 the future
not SIT etWcen the lamp and the window the
-hadoW pictures VIII no attract such assem-
lage7 as nigh ~ gather 10 front of The resi-.
deuce neither VIII he furnish food for COM
ment for pas ensers 10 tine street cars. Sac
Td~eHt0 RecOFd.
"GooD HEAVENS Washington, how does
ye r master live IN sucn mosquito-e y hole
'Weu, sab, the fact am. at night Mars
Georg- m 50 lntoxlded he don't give a GUS
for he skee ers, and in de morning de
sSeeters am so intoNihed they don't give
cuss for Mars George. '-LHe.
All" SAID a citizen, ''my new house that
moved into two years ago Is 80 banged and
battered tn t -carcely know it. You see,
had always been tenant before built, and
my family got so used to knocking things
around and slamming ana scratching and
hruising promlecuOusly that the old habit
stuck TO them. il | ever get another new home,
SIR III begin IL with new family. -L0utSCtLle
Courier Journal.
DURING a dejeuner a swell, conversing with
Father Tom Burke, the great Dominican.
spoke of Gen. Burke OF Galway as ''your
eousln.' ION, shure, have no relatives in
the army was the reply, "whO ever got
higher than corporal, butmy tmlly are Ger
talnly the best brsi burNes ln Galway The
point OF the pun is that Father Burke's father,
"Old Watt" was a baker of DomInIck street,
In that town, an amiabie, good natured man.
pas-lonately fond Of music, and devoted TO his
family. -PdTs0D's Pms.
THAT was a bad accident on your road
yesterday:' be sad TO the president of a
southern railroad corporation.
"HOwtn
"Why, seven or eight people were klledm
ION, yes, believe something OF the sort did
happen. Luc6y for us. though the damage to
the tram was less than a $i0O.
But the HI led, the suits for damagesn
Him, lucky again. II they had been en-
plOyes OF the road. we'd have had to pay
funeral expenses and come forward with their
three months back pay VAL Street Neios.
Now, sisters, list to what | say:
With trials this wOr Is rife,
You cannot expect to miss them all
Help husband to get a wife.
And thus advice truly give,
If exalted You viii be-
Remember that your husband must
BE blessed with more than thee.
Chorus
Then. o, let Us say,
sod bless he wlJe that strives,
Ana aids her husband all she can,
To obtain dozen wives.
Mormon church flynn.
SEE HERE sad the managing editor to a
head-liner employed on the paper, haven't
you made a mistake IN the heading TO this
articies"
How so:" inquired the youth, anxiOusly.
you say that The members Of Congress will
attend horse circu-.' The word horse Is
supe iuous. Is it not: All circuses are horse
circuses, l believe"
You think, sir, 1t would have been better
to have omitted the word 'horseF"
"Decidedly."
1T would nave been all right them"
ION. yes"
But the proof reader is to blame. l wrote
Il house caucus"
"Oh!'-Tid- Bits.