Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1886-07-29
THE PRINCE OF LIARS.
Samples Of What an Average Dakotan
Can De at the Expense Of
Truth.

Samples Of What an Average Dakotan
Can De at the Expense Of
Truth.
In the East, thousands of people plant
and SOW ''in the moon" to insure rapid
growth, but in Dakota it is dangerous to
plsntin the prolific phase of the moon,
90 they are careful to plant at such
time that the moon will exert its influ-
ence in holding the crop back. 1 have
known several disasters to result from
neglect of this precautien. One day last
January 1 got lost out In the country,
and while / was toiling through the tall
new grass, l saw man with nething on
but his suspenders tearing along like
mad. He stopped just long enough to
tell me what was up, and of he went for
he cleared at bound, and fell on all
fours into q snow drift four feet deep.
He said he and his wife had looked up
the moon business and had planted their
garden the evening before, but happen>
ed to get hold of last years almanac
and missed it about four days. The re-
morning the beets that he planted forty
feet from the house had crushed in his
cellar walls, and a squash vine had TAX
en- the door off its hinges and was just
mopping the floor with all there was left
of the hired man, whom it had snatched
out of bed in the attic. He didn't know
where his wife was, but be saw some
shreds Of a Dightgown and several agate
buttons In the front yard as he fed. He
said there were pea vines after him with
pods on 'em large enough for phantom
boats; and one could see by the way he
was dressed that if be was liar at all
he was not regular thoroughbred Da-
kota sample. If really thought l
would ever become an average Dakota
liar would want to die. This Territory
must be divided some time before the
day of judgment; for how could the AL
mighty ever audit its accounts with only
one set of clerical angels at work at a
time?
About two weeks ago l saw farmer
out behind straw stack gathering into
a heap lot of old bones and pieces of
hides and sprinkling salt on them. Yes
terday saw the same man selling fine
pair of steers to a butcher up town.
They were so fat and had filled up so
fast that be had pieced out their hides
with an old buffalo robe. This granger
was Sunday School superintendent te-
fore he came to Dakota, but he swore
these were the cattle 1 had seen him
kicking together behind the straw stack.
He said all they had eaten was some
wild grass that had sprang upin his door
yard, where the women had thrown
few tubs of warm soap suds on wash
days. He said that be had learned that
the best way to winter stock in Dakota
was to knock them to pieces in the fall
and set them up again as wanted, other
wise, unless we get blizzard every
week, they were liable to get too fat and
round on the native grass.
Last fall stopped at a house to bor'
row match to light my pipe with. The
man told me to 60 right out in the gar
den and pick all wanted. l did not
know what it meant, at first; but he
went out with me, and-I'm almost
afraid you'll think me liar for telling
it-tbers was about half an acre grow
ing the finest parlor matches l ever saw.
They were thick as hairs on a blind
mole. He said be had poor crop the
year before, because the seed was too
good for the soil. This year he had
mixed bis seed matches with about one
third toothpicks. and had got splendid
yield.
1 went out after breakfast and saw
the man blowing up Hubbard squashes
with gunpowder. They were too large
to be moved, and the farmer wanted the
ground.
noticed that one of his wife's legs
was about eight inches longer than the
other, and the man explained it thus:
He said when they first came to Dakota
they lived in ''dugout," with nothing
but the ground for a floor, from which
they had to NOW the grass once day to
find the baby. He said his wife had a
habit of sitting with one leg over the
other knee, and the leg that remained in
contact with the soil got such start
that the other could never catch up
Modern Miller