Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1886-08-21
FOR coon HCSBANDs.
Hints to Those Who Desire to Keep Their
Wives Young and Handsome.

From the Detroit Tribune.
Why do not mothers teach their boys how
to do homework ? The little girls set the
table, wipe dishes, dust the parlor, hold the
baby. But the boys! Bless your soul, II
you can get one of them to hang up his night
shirt every morning, instead of leaving 1t on
the floor as he stepped out OF IT. or hang up
his cap, or put up his books or skates, you
are lucky. Why should not boy help his
mother9 Why should tears Of rage and
shame roll down his cheeks when an apron
is tied around his neck and he is obliged to
wash dishes7 Girls are told from their
babyhood to "learn to be good wives"
Boys should have 1t constantly dinned into
their ears to I" learn TO be good husbands"
How often you see a tired wife carry a heavy
burden upstairs and her husband come ur
tehind her empty. handed. And this same
little wife will split the wood and sometimes
black the husbands boots.
A man on a cattle ranch, living by himself
in dug out said he wished his mother had
taught him to cook when he was boy, and
to sw,- Tor he would find 1t OF great use when
in the Farm and Home has well said that
there is nothing degrading for msoc or boy
to don a big apron and assist the TIED witt
or mother in the heavier work OF the house,
hold. My mothers girls " were all boys"
ani /, the youngest was often called TO help
her with the housework. i have lived TO
bless her for the instruction she gave me in
that line, and know my wife is OF the same
mind. / know a man who, when his wife
was sick, took the whole care OF the house
hold as nurse, cook, washer-woman and
maid of all work for several weeks, unsided,
except for the daily visits OF the physician,
caring for his wife as she went almost TO the
gates of death, until at last a good nurse was
obtained, and the tired husband was permit
ted to rest And that man was not " Miss
Nancy either. Why are not the husbands
x.ltf "a tketr uytyrAa ~. nth
Why don't they bring In little bit OF the
honeyed sweetness of courting days to
Tighten the duh prose Of married lite
In a story, "a Cure for Miserable Wife,"
mer has made $50, 900 by scrimping and by
denying his wife all modern help and conve-
niences, and his friend says 10 him: " Your
wife Is no longer young. She Is no longer
EDITORS cheek, and she has stopped over a
milk can until she has hump on her back
like peddler."
"shut up, will you ?"
Her children have grown out OF her
hands. She Is at hone alone, going around
In tread mill which will end in rosewood
coffin and first-class country funeral, while
you are still Q handsome man, with just
enough gray In your whiskers to make you
look interesting. Now you have a new
watertown wagon. Your wife does not look
we'll in 1t, 70 you take your hired man and
neighbors' girls to meeting. Your wife
never goes anywhere, 30 you do not get her
q watch like your own, nor silk dress, nor
Q pony that she could drive, nor a basket
phse ton that she could climb into without
ladder. She never says anything, 30 you
have not got her q set OF teeth like your own
gold and rubber. She never goes out, so she
does not dye her hair as you do yours, but 1t
looks like milkweed pod gone to seed. She
has to work in the kitchen, so she gets no
nice toothpick shoes like yours, but goes
chumping around like sheep In dry goods
box"
"Professor. for msrcy's sake, stop"
snow II your wife had chance TO rest,
had nice clothes like other women, she
would be one Of the hsndsomest women in
the town."
al swan believe it."
"And, old ~ she Ia, II you were to get out
the carriage next Sunday, drive around with
the colts and tell her you wanted her to go
TO meeting with You she would actually
blush with pleasure"
"Then tell her you are going to hire
girl, and that she must sit In the sitting-room
by that new nickel-plated coal stove and
work on that new silk dress you are going to
buy her."
Professor, that's NO."
And then hand her nickel wallet with
steel clasps and with i've new twenty dollar
notes In it. and tell her to do her own trading
after 30 much money"
will, as sure a. you live"
Sand then when the tears start Ia her eyes
and the same old blush comes out that you
thought was 90 nice when you was courting
her, II you would kiss her"
It's all right, professor"
"Then, my friend, i would begin to think
she had made something by marryings rich
man."
Now husbands, one and all, brush UP your
manners to the " suid wife" u Give her some
of the sweet oourtosies Of the honeymoon, and
see what will come Off