Morning journal and courier., 1886-08-25
SNI HE'S.

A man in a street car always wears a sol emn look, while woman smiles from getting in to getting out. Why is it?-Minneapolis Journal.
 One thing which was not settled by the trial is whether it was boom, bum, balm, bawm or bomb that was thrown. There is no doubt, though, that something was thrown.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
 ssWell, Dollie, how did you enjoy the voy- age to Europe? Were you seasick?"
 'tNot the leastest bit, grandpa, but I frowed up awfully the first free days."- Philadelphia Call
 Smelling Gunpowder. -Professor-"Why, in making gunpowder. is saltpetre used as a component part?" Tom Anjerry-''To make it smell bad, reckon, so the soldiers can say that they smelt gunpowder. Pa is al ways bragging about the gunpowder he smelt during the war. ."-Texas Siftings.
 "Tom, gave you very liberal allowance when I sent you to college, nevertheless, I hear that you have had some trouble in meeting your bills" :"
 'Not the slightest in the world, father, I assure you. It has been all I could do to keep out of their way. ay."-Merchant Traveller.
 The Pittsburg Telegram, in commenting on Puck's corn-feld cartoon, tells MT. Opper, top of the stalk, like wheat. The Telegram is probably not aware that the. cartoon is g Mugwump cornfeld, in which the corn grows just as it darn pleases. -Norristown Herald.
 From Glen Falls comes the story that a compositor who imagined he had talent for construction of sentences had this line to set: "A tall woman with slight stoop." He sub stituted the word piazza for stoop, and sui fers the consequence of his rash act as he wanders across the country looking for work. New York World.
 Boston girl-''Let me see, they have bears and such animals up in the Arctic regions, don't they, MT. Higgins?" Returned Arctic explorer-"Oh, yes. I went out one day and followed an immense bear and finally shot and cached it.'' Boston girl-ECatched ita I suppose you mean caught, don't you, MT. Higgins?''-Tid Bits.
 ''Tell me, Tewfk Ben Ali," asked Osman Ben Selim, the keeper of the gate, ''why have you abandoned your holy callinga And how comes it that you desire to quit the pious employment of your lifetime?" 'Alas: quoth Tewik Ben Ali, with a prodigious sigh, "competition hath done this evil work. With Murat Halstead in the same business the rest of us bowling dervishes are afforded no alternative but to get out of it. Chicago Morning News.
 Some years ago a well known Presbyterian divine spending his summer vacation with his family in the Adirondacks. One Sunday he accepted an invitation to preach. In the congregation was a man who appa- rently was rather deaf; for he came to the service armed and equipped with an immense ear trumpet, and as soon as the sermon be- gan went forward and took his seat we'll up on the pulpit stairs. The clergyman's little daughter was among the auditors. She had never seen an ear trumpet, and the spectacle of the form on the pulpit stairs steadily hold | ing that instrument against his head filled ! her with awe and wonder. On her way | home from the church the first thing she said to her father, when they were alone was, "Papa, was that archangel by you:' Exchange.