The Wilmingtonian., 1886-03-27
THE HON. sTAYDorF.

inc distinguished stranger was then
ushered in. He appeared to bo n person
about six feet high, lame in the left leg, of
sanguine temperament, and to be possessed
Of great presence of mind. He bowed right
and left, smiling like ticklei baby, and
began his address by saying:
Nobody knows how good it makes me
feel to stan in de shelter of dis famous ole
Paradise hall an look down upon de go
faces turned up to de shingles II my sister
hadn't taken noshun to die, an if | hadn't
got a half-fare ticket to come dis way,
might nebber hev sot eyes on dis famous ng-
gregation of wisdom, prudence an pro-
greshun. tCheers.1
''Whar' war de culrd people of dis kentry
twenty y'ars ago' Let your memories run
back to de close of de wa, We war men in
statoo, but chilpn in inteleck On de day
dat peace was declur'd, had you put me down
in Cincinnati wild $50 bill in my pocket
should hev bin helpless. Your wise presi
dent here couldn't hev told whether shot
gun loaded from in front or behind Had
you asked Sir Isaac Walpole who Shake.
speare was, he would hev crawled under de
he'd in confushun. Trustee PuIIbacli had de
Pilgrims Progress all mixed up will de
Pirates Promenade Waydown Bebae didn't
know whether de Ohio ribber cmptied into
de Mississippi or Salt creek. [Great ap-
plausel
I'VE war chillen in feelin' an acbshun
De tones of de fiddle war mo- to us den dan
de voice of Progress am now If we had
hoecake an bacon we war content 10 let de
rest of de world hev poetry, science, art an
wealth. Our reigun might hev him all
right, but de rest of us war all wrong. In
our ignorance, de sun riz on de rlnntashun
to de east of us an sut on de one to d. west.
De world was composed Of about TO stats
an all dc knQwledge an wisdom was sup
posed to be carried under de hats of dozen
white men" IAgitationl
Here the orator paused to wire his brow
and straighten up his wiltcd collar, and
when he had got his second wind he con.
tinued:
Nov, fur whar we are Take lie finest
lie paintin' in do land an walk into any
barber shop in de kentry an youll find men
to criticise it. Dcy'll pint out de facll dat de
foreground has skipped cog or dat de per-
spective corkscrews too much, Dey'll light
down on a bad sky like a hawi on chicken
an you kin trust 'em to diskiber anything
wrong wild waterfall or u side hill
[Cheers.l
white men who come to us an look wise
an talk about de sciences am astonished to
find dat dey am barking up de wrong tree
We has got darl Sewer gas keeps Just as
fur away from de cabin of do black man
as from do palace of de white De science
of government am discussed obtr cur din
ner pals rs often as in de halls OF legisa-
shuu. Material philosophy has to keep
dodgin' TO get out O. our way. Prolonged
applause ] De Guild race was long way
back when de last gun was iiryd but dcy
has bin traLblin' on n run cher sinca.
L. :, IL 90
hours, [cheersl but dc occashm am not pro
pitious. If anybody among you has any
doubts dat our race has not passed do
three. quarter pole let him sot out and
trabble few miles. / shall now pass on
to see my dying sister, and | shall always
remember dis event wild de moas' malignant
pleasure. In wishin' you farewell, permit
me to use de words Of Socrates to de
Egyptians: Cum dig SoliS.'''
PENsToCR TRIES A SHOT
Giveadam Jones moved that vote of
thanks and the freedom of the city be ten
derel to the orator, and added that lie
hadn't hal anything do him SO much good
since watcrmelons went out Of market
Il hope dat moshun will not prevail
said the Rev. Penstock, as he bobbel up.
Il claim dat de greater part of dat speech
was stolen bodily from one delivered in
Richmond six Vars agol'
1t doan' seem possible" replied the presi-
dent.
'But am suah of it, sah worked fur
three weeks on dat speech, am | remember
almos eb1ry word of ltp
On motion of Waydown Belize a COM
nittee OF two went out to find the Hon
StandoiF and bring him in to face the
music, but he had gone. Also, Elder Raille's
plug hat, Samuel Slin's ovcreuat and n
lantern belonging TO Antimony johnson. Il
Detroit Free Press.