The Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1885-1886, 1886-04-03
A TRIP TO THE MOON.
INCIDENTS OF THE THE JOURNEY
TOLD A LA JULES VERNE.
The Criminal Lawver-Red Hair Fire
Escape-Ful1 M0on-A Hard Hearted
Father-A Discovery They Are
Mad" - Horrors - Saved"
Robert d. Brain in Texas Siftings.l

Robert D. Brain in Texas Siftings.l
CHAPTER l.
Jacques Courbeau iocq was q lawyer. He
was criminal lawyer. 1t is something Diff |
fcult to distinguish which is the criminal
and which the lawyer, but let that pass
Lawyers are men who collect claims on a
five per cent. basis You get the per
cent-the lawyer gets the rest. Lawyers
get more re,t than any other class of pro-
ies ional men. Jacques had red hair. II
was so fiery that the building inspector Or
Tered him to wear fire. escape down his
back. The foregoing statemsnt is poetic
license--that is, it is a lie.
Jacques Lowell beauteous maid namel
Jondrette
Jonirette's papa was a retired sausage
manufacturer from Chicago He had been
knighted by the New York Genealogical
bureau on gayment OF SD The trinity Of
life to him was his pipe. cheese, and beer.
1--we for Jonlrette causel jacques heart
10 beat willy from morn 10 night. 1t beat so
loudly as to annoy the rest of the boarderI
But by all meani let u avoid turning this
original romance into farce.
81 will ask for her han l." said Jacques
CHAPTER IL.
A glorious full NOON throws her splendid
ra lance DER the palace OF Jondrette's papa
IN Fifth avenus. The family bulldog is
pouring forth his sou. in the back yari. A
young man kneels at the feet of JIndrette's
papa. His hands are claspsi in the lily
white ripper of Jondrette
Jundrette is weeping. In short space OF
time she had she'd four quarts of tears To
be more explicit-a gallon.
Nothing would soften thu heart of the old
man. In vain they threatened to commit
suicide AMI other crimes.
win nothing move your hard hearth
gasped Jacques.
"Yes monsieur, she is yours"
wild cry Of joy broke from the lips Of
the happy pair, and rang and re-echoei
through the awful silence OF the dark dun.
geon-no We mean through the richy-turn
ishe1 apartment fThe fact Is we were get
ting this story mixei w with next weeks
romance, and beg the readers pardon for
the mistake)
"Oa one condition." continued the old man
with a scornful laugh.
Name it, said both in a breath
THAT you bring me a chunk of the green
tucesc lltHl WHICH bu5 I1bpI IS iDdl6, 10 cut
with my beer" said the old man with a
hieoul lear.
Jondrette gave low moan and fell faint
us over King Anne rocking chair.
Al will do it," said Jacques
CHAPTER Ill.
For days Jacques Ia tel nothing He
,ored night and day over works on astron-
omy. Memory and appetite alike failed.
He even forgot to charge a client s., under
the head of advice, for asking the time on
the steps of the city hall
One day the title Of an old book on an old
book ,tani caught his eye-"Tne Moon, by
Bjornbog Skijajoghog, the great Norwegian
astronomer" He purchased the book and
fell to devouring it like a mailman.
Suddenly a yellow paper fell to the
| grounl. 1t bore the following cipher:
Noon eht OF yaw sih elddap dna ecapS nj
| miws nae ell. ytivarg La sesoi sthgin evif
ins syad evil ROT shgual ohw emo ynA.
Jacqu spent weeks over the riddle
One day when on the verge Of madness he
| happened to loos backwards at 1T All was
clear in q second. TIE riddle read:
"Any one who laughs for five days ant
| five nights loses all gravity. He can swim
| Ia space AMI paddle his way to the moon
Il shall succeed" said he.
CHAPTER ".
At noon of the II Fevrisr two figure:
were ascending on the car of the high
| elevator at Coney island. They were
| Jacques and frienl The friend had Rad
a little friendly misunderstanding with the
bank ,, which be was cashier, and gladly
| con sented to a tour for his health.
The two men had provisions, huge
cheesa-kni!e, AMI forty pounds of humorou
papers. When they reached the top of the
elevator they looksl straight up and com,
nencei to laugh. They real and laughed
an laughed and real. Peopls said "They
a % mad"
| For five days AMI five nights they
| ,au, bed At the eDl Of that time they la |
no weight. Their gravity was completely
overcome. They could float in space
| With glad shout they sprang out into
the ether, and began to paddle like mad
men Tor the m ION. Ga and on they spell
| paying Cheir re poets to Big and Little Bear,
the Seal, the Warus, and other animals in
the cele ,tial menagerie. They sail to O
huge star "Who are yoa3
Tranus,' was the reply.
You're another" said they
At which the stars in their cour g
| grnaned in chorus
The journey is at last over and with a
glad cry the voyageurs strikes chees firma
In trice Jacques cuts huge fragment
from the surface of the moon and wraps II
in silk handkerchief.
"Let us descend" says he
They try. HOrrorsl!l They can not de
semi
Who can describe their horrible situation
hu 'tiug for days on the moons surfaces for
rr's to put i'll their pockets to give thsn
wei- t. At last their powers fail and THIS
fall fainting in the sand.
Suddenly a cry rings on the air. "Saved
SlveIil Saved!l' exclaimi jacques in >
paroxysm of joy. a have founi it."
"WhatH gaspei tn, friend
"A copy Of an English comic paper in M,
vest packet; We have nothing to 10 but rea
tho jokes"
| In few minutes more the adventure ar,
are falling through the air at frightful
rnte of speed.
CHAPTER v.
The foreman is yelling for copy, AMI Wi
shall have to conden' this last chapter
Jscqusi-g lad -cry-grsen cheese-bee.
- Bless you, my children--D1 you take thu
womanl-Ido-supsrb collation., elegant;
-S-$-newspaper reportsrs-S-S-S--rs
,hercie, besItiful-accomplshsi g. c.-2l
|