The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1886-12-02
HUMOR.
II man adopted all the plans adj
vertised for saving money what for
tune il would take.-Terds Stftjilgs.

Ira man adopted all the plans adj
vertised for saving money what for
tune it would take.-Teras SJli'ags.
Ir ia the girl whose pa is sound
Finan ,inlly-has lots OF Doodle
Who with ribbon drags around
The city's streets tiny poodle.
boston Courier.
LIZ every dog has his day. we wish
that the dogs to whom belong these
days would be off with them.-Boston
Post.
A MARRIED couple who are dumb
never quarrel. At least, they never
have any words together. Sit-
ipgs.
BouDoIR reflections, by young lady
of certain age"-It is easier to get
your back hair than Jour hair back
Judy.
"THERE's a GOODNESS between us,
said the sea captains to each other
when an iceberg passed between their
ships.
THE nowly made bride may be witty
Or stupid, tbs small matter which;
The maiden inquiries II she pretty
The youth wants to know II she's rich.
Boston Courier.
THERE is suspicion that old man
Hamlet, of Denmark was a shoemaker,
from his sons remark: Take him for
awl and awl, we shall not look upon
his like again. boston Bulletin.
AN old maid school teacher declares
that any woman who is fool enough to
get married ought to lose her place.
N. B.-She has stool ready to lose
her place any time these last thirty
years.
LITTLE Boston boys can buy pie with
postage stamps. When they haven't
any stamps of their own they steal them
from their emp overs. This is wicked,
of course, but little Boston boys must
have pie.-Puck.
HEAD of the house-"Where's the
pitcher of beer?" Boy-"Ma's clothes
got on fire and 1 grabbed up the beer
and threw it on her to put out the
flames" Head of the house-"I want
you to understand that beer costs
money Anybody'd think you were
born with gold spoon in your mouth. =
lid Bits.
go, ISN'T it a lovely night, Adolphus?
Just fancy how delightful the nights
must be in the Orient! The azure blue
sky, the perfume of the flowers, the
soft thinking" Il tell you, Miriam
da, dear. prefer the nights they have
in Alaska. They're inst immense"
Immense, Adolphus?" ayes, for
counting. They're so long, you know"
philadelphia Call.
A BLITHEsoME Grasshopper danced
and sang the Summer through. and put
in his Spare Time disregarding and
jeering at the Advice of a Laborious
Elderly Ant, his Uncle, who warned
him that his Course of Conduct was
not getting the Baby dressed. Winter
came, and Simpson & Co. stared the
Thoughtless Insect in the Face. But
! just then the Ant died of Overwork
and insufficient Nourishment, leaving
the Grasshopper, his Sole Heir, to
revel in his Hoarded Wealth. We learn
from this Fable not to despise Patient
Industry-in our Elderly Relatives
| Puck.
BISHOP FUTILE, whom 1 remember
as a bright-eyed boy, was once jour
neying on horseback over a corduroy
road when he met settler whose
heavily loaded team was shipwrecked
in the mud. In minute he was o. his
horse, had put his stout shoulder TO
the half-buried wheel, and sent the
horses on their way rejoicing. The
gratified owner of the establishments
looked at his black-coated rescuer curl
ously and said: "Who be you, any
how?' "Pm Bishop of the church,"
said "Dan," the prelate, once more his
dignifed self "Wa-al," replied the
native, Il don't know what a Bishop
be, but / know you're id good fell
low. Let's have somethin' out of the
bottle Cor PHILADELPHIA Record.
THE PRIZE ESSAY.
She left the crowded platform and
The air lied with cheers
Her essay was 80 sveetly blent
In min sled smiles and tears.
Her subject "womans Mission" was;
She treated il with care,
And showed the line OF noble names
CT women wise and rare.
ooh. do not think to wod,' she said,
a slave unto the ring.
IT'S better far. in fancy = flight,
To soar on freedoms wing.
"Too prone to think, cried she,
THAT marriage Ia the goal
To which each maiden's pathway tends,
And all LIES currents roll
My voice is still for liberty;
No bonds OF love for me
I'll show the world happy sight
spnster wisely freel"
She tripped away amid the epwers
That dew from far and wide;
In Just four months she was, Of course
A proud and happy bride!
Ga. ~.