Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-07-03
BRIGHT BITS.

a MATHEMATICAL calculation has shown
that II the muscles Of a man were relatively
AS strong tho,e of flea ne could throw
book agent two miles. -Richu,ond otctte.
SMALL makes about as much money in
week by evangellzing as he formerly lost In
rhe same period starting humorous papers TO
ali long-felt want. 1T pays to be good -
NpyristcaoB Uerdld.
"GOIEG away this summer" he asked, as
they met on the Campus MarIinus for d mo-
ment.
well, Pve made a start toward it,"
'oeected he placer"
"No-borrowed 500 at per cent!"-Detrott
Free Press.
"YEs," said he sadly. "Ive been an active
man IN my day, bot | broke down, and the
doctor has ordered entire relaxation"
"And where have You settled?" asked his
friend, anXlously.
''Oh, I'm in business in Philadelphia
Washington Hdtchet.
SOMEBODY went to Stedman. the banker
poet the other day. and asked the use of his
name TO me sort of a statement which was
o appear in print. You are welcome enough
to my name," he sa1d, ION one condition. GU
mast print it Il. O. and not Edmund Clar-
ence.'"-Neao York Tunes.
THE Most Important Commandment: Sun
day school Teacher-Can any one of you little
boys tell me which Of the commandments is
the most important TO keep?
Little johnny Whose father Is an editor
| can, sir.
Teacher What commandment is it.
Johnny
J '.uny-Take your home paper!-Ts9as
Siftin0s.
FIRST New York Alderman's Daughter
say, Estele, where did Columbus land, any
way? Teacher asked me at school to day, and
when said Plymouth Rock they all laughed
at me.
SECOND New York Alderman's Daughter
Why, you silly child don't you know any
liz af aati a Tar
den, OF course. That's where all the for
eIgHers come roiIte Journal.
Is it possible that the distinguished John L.
Sullivan leads double life. or is IL merely that
Boston and New York see him through dit
ierent lens? In his native GUY, which once
Z Dried in his achievements they make him
out at once Sybarlte and savage; here ne
Is almost an anch0rite aud gentle as a child.
Champagne, excuses and collateral pOmmel-
ing in Boston; settler, abstinence and harm
less bag punching In New York-Ns,o York
Herald.
A COUNTER IRRITANT.-
"W no is that lady? tell me, pray"
dry goods clerk inquired:
"She comes to shop 50 frequently
I'd think that she'd be tired"
81 call her mustard plaster
The other clerk replies,
"For she's a coun ter irritant-
She shops but never buys"
Boston Courier
employees in an Indiana furniture factory
operated by German struck for eight hours
work a day he granted It, but when thew
wanted ten hours pay for eight hours work
he called them up and saIu: "My fr'en's
maybe do ash you like. | hat an order from
Shegago for ten dozen shaIrs. Will sheep
him eight dozen und bill him for ten. If he
doau' kick on me 1T shows me dot der rule
works both vnavs una We yhas all right" 1t
is needless to add that the idea didn't work
and that his men are receiving eight hours
pay val Street Neaos.
A FOUR-YEAR-oLD MISS who has been in
the habit of making daily visit to her music
teacher via the High street car line found
herself on recent morning minus the Gus
tomary ticket or the necessary three cent
fare. Nothing daunted, she stopped the car
at the usual corner, took her seat and quietly
awaited events. The rest of the story is best
told IN her own words:
The conductor he came, and said Ticket
please" II haven't any this morning"
Then l must have three cents" But |
haven't any money, either" where are YOU
golng?' "Oh, I'm going to the 'Cademy of
Music, and want to stop at Dorrance street :"
"But did YOU think you could ride without
ticket or money!" "Oh. yes. cause ALWAYS
pay when have any money!"
Her credit was good and she got there
Providence J0UrRdl.