Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-10-22
HIRAM JENKINS MISTAKE

hill road that led to the farm-hou OF
Deacon Bates. 1t was plain even to the
casual observer that the erraEd he was
Oh was of no common Importance. No
man would have arrayed himself so gor.
geously simply for the purchase of tub
of fall butter or yoke of steers. His
hair was i'm state Of distressing smooth
ness, and seemed almost a part OF the
glossy hat which covered it. His coat
and pantaloons were marvellous in their
way, and his boots, which had been
blacked, reflected back the
rays of the setting sun in manner per-
fectly binding to the beholder. And
yet, Notwithstanding his superiority in
all these respects to the lilies OF the
field, there was apparent in his action a
singular sort OF nervousness, a trepida'
ton almost, which rendered his appear
ance at once ridiculous and awkward.
This trepidation was in no wise lessened
by the sudden vision of red-headed ur-
chin watching him from the barn door,
and who as the team approached, with
an overwhelming grin, sped of in the
direction Of the farmhouse and disap-
peared through the kitchen door. Hiram
was conscious a minute afterwards OF
being the target for half dozen pairs
of eyes from the sitting room windows,
and it required extraordinary strength
of mind on his part to drive past the
house to the shed where the horses OF
all visitors were hitched. There are
few more awkward things to do than to
get out or in q carriage when women
are watching, and though Hiram had
probably never thought of the fact be-
fore, he fully experienced its truth, as,
endeavoring to spring gracefully from
the buggy, his foot slipped on the wheel
and he came down OIL his hands and
knees in the dirt. His remarks rs he
scrambled to his feet were confined to
one word, but that, though short, was
the most expressive one in the English
language. "Pll have to 60 round TO
the barn pump and wash my hands be-
fore | can 90 in" he said to bimself. Il
suppose they are having their fun out
Of me in the house now. COnfound it,
| wish | hadn't started" AS he passed
the door of the horse barn which was
partly open he heard the sound OF
voices. He listened, and his heart sank
as he recognized the tones Of his rival,
Elnathan Rogers. II want her bad,
he was saying. "She just suits me.
You can't always have her, you know,
and you'd better call the thing settled. "
81 don't know about that" answered
the deacon doubtfully. "I've always
said, come what would, l wouldn't part
with Jenny. But you hang on so, l
don't know"
"Say it's a bargain, deacon. Pye
thought it over good while, and Jen-
nv must have. "I'll treat her well,
you may be sure Of that"
The deacon hesitated, blew his nose,
and said: "She's got some little tricks
that nobody knows nothing about but
me, and | don't want to impose upon
neighbor." "Oh, pshaw! that's only
an excuse, deacon. Pm willing TO risk
it," "She kicked me in the stomach last
winter, and bit little Sammy not more
than six weeks ago. l can show you
the scar now"
"Great kingw thought Hiram, "and
here | was going to pop the question
this very night. Who would have
thought it!'
an take that out of her" said Elna-
than, continuing the conversation. "lf
she so much as lifts her foot against me,
I'll give her lickin'that'll last month" "
"Lick!' CALCULATED Hiram to himself,
astonished beyond measure. "Lick
Jenny Bates! Well, this goes ahead OF
anything ever heard Of. And the old
man doesn't say word! What next!'
A pause ensued, which was at last
broken by the deacon: "Well, if you
must have her, you must. l expect the
old lady'll want something to say about
Il, though. She thinks as much of Jen-
nv az do. Won't you come into the
house?"
Net now. I've got to go down 10
the village before dark. I'll be round
some time tomorrow.
Hiram jenkins waited until he saw
his luccessful rival climb the fence be-
tween the two farms. Then he deliber
ately unhitched his horse, got into hi;
wagon anG drove of, never casting q
look Jward the window where the fail
Jenny sat in watchful expectation
Not unit. he reached his own door die
ne uTdW lOUk ulColu. ~ ScO"S ySS'
like dream," said he to himself as h
slowly unbuckled the harness. ''T'
think Of Jenny Bates kicking her owl
father aud biting her little brother, ant
she looking as though butter wouldn'
melt in her mouth! It's just as mean
though. in the deacon to lick as tbs 10
her to kick. The old hypOcrite! Well
must say I'm nightly deceived in tn
Bateses. Is'pose Elnathan Rogers feel
cranky enough now he's got her.
lust hope she'll kick his head of. Luck
for ms overheard what l did," Not
wi,hstanding this selfcongratulatior
Hiram felt all the pangs Of disappoin
ment and jealousy. He had not onl
lost his "girl," but had been cut in tn
most mortifying manner by man
held in thorough contempt. He fe