davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
The BETTER Part OF Valor.

There, l think that will fix him" "
said the editor of q Dakota paper to the
foreman. Here is what l say: The
miserable, cowardly. sneaking whelp
who makes q sickening and disgusting
effort to edit the daub known to the
half-dozen or 50 who are aware it ia
published here as the Corktown Morgne,
printed another batch of base and silly
lies about US last week. We take this
occasion to give the aforementioned
bowling idiot notice that we shall shoot
him on sight. We have stood all of il
we propose to. We shall 90 armed. and
the lunk-headed. over-grown calf had
better keep out of our sight il he values
his miserable, worthless life"
Hold on" said the foreman. looking
out of the window. ''better get out your
gun. he's coming now."
''Why, good morning, Major. come
in" said the bloodthirsty journalists.
laying down the manuscript II waa
reading over one of my editorials in
which l call upon Congress to quit
tariff.tinkering and get down to the
crying needs of the country. Its dis
gusting the way it neglects business.
isn't itg'
ut is for a fact. Ipropose to refer
to it myself this week. Well. can't stop
now."
%, don't be in a hurry. sorry we
can't do anything for you to-day. Well.
good morning. Major"
Good neutrality-suspicious. (Ddk.)
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
The Humorous Lecturer.

A humorous lecturer is reported by
the PhiIa,lciphia Tunes as relating this
incident:
Il gave the show in the hotel dining
room and had everybody roaring with
laughter except one awfully sednte-
looking iuan. 1 tried my funniest gags
upon him and WAS wild to awaken u
gurglc. or ut least II smile. But all in
vain. HIS face WAS Il solemn As
tombstone through it all. After the
show. however. fancy my surprise to see
the melancholy nun come up and give
ne 4 con.ratulary shake. Il must
thank You. sir. for IL very pleasant NNen-
ing. Your performance was very
clever. | ,lrn,st laughed. sir.
Aricmus Ward used to tell similar
but Il much better story. lie said that
once while Oil lecture tour night
found him at Il small town in Nevada.
In the landlord of the hotel ne recOg-
niZed friend of his boyhood who gave
him hearty greeting. Supper over
the landlord said to his guest: "NOw,
Brown. we hardly ever have any show
of anv kind in this place. and l don't
think We ever had a lecture. Can't yOn
give lis yonr lecture up in the ball
room? 1t will please the people mighti-
ly, and I'll take it rs great favor II
YOU will" With characteristic good
nature Artemus consented. The ball
room was we'll filled when he rose to
speak, and before he had been on his
feet minute he made an observation
which provoked roar of laughter. At
which the landlord. his face white with
rage, rose and advanced toward the
platform with the remark. lone min
ute, Mr.. Brown" Artemus paused.
and the landlord having taken his place
beside him drew i revolver from his
back pocket. and. addressing the au-
dience, said: Ladies and gentlemen,
the speaker is a particular friend of
mine and if he's interrupted agin d.
me if don't shoot. You can proceed.
Mr.. Brown Artemus proceeded. and
although he gave them his funniest
lecture he reported that there was after
ward no further ''interruptiOn. ~ T.
Tribune.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

pear in the other journal but there
was the engraving. the forty lines of
space. the form ready 10 go the electro
typers! ran up to the composing
room. Can you holt that form for
half an hOnr?' asked ri the. foreman.
I'll trv.' he sail. dashed of another
lighthouse poem t>o as 10 utilize tho
emgraving). had it inserted. and was
relieved Of my embarrassment. 1t was
entirely different from The other poem.
'.And which was tho best poem?" l
asked. Tho ono which ! was COM
PEELED to WRITE" he said. IF was in
spired wasn't conscious Of it I'm
sure. Ill show you both poems son,e
day. and you can judge for yourself ~
pNiiuflsi,,Ilia Call
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

| at night" she explained. Not until
nv master comes home tired after his
DAYS work Then VIC have our bit
| of supper and drinS our gros. and We
! like to sec Il ci,ecriul blaZa Bot in tho
[! day don't trouble about it." The boy
went up smartly and shortly reap
, peared.
why. you've got a smoke-jack up
there. miSsis." said he.
! .'What's a snoke-jack?' said my
, brother hastily. The sweep explained.
"It's Il h-apparatus for roasting meat
fixed in the ctimblcy. II has little sails
like, just like windmill. only they are
laid fiat instead of being upright. The
hot airs cones up from the fire and
blows these sails around. Then there's
a cog-whcel and that communicates the
motion to "A hy-wheel. A chain passes
round the fly-wheel. coming down to
the CRATE, and turns the spit"
"But where are tine chains?"
20. they've been taken off. suppose.
It isn't used now"
! Il didn't know it was there" said
our landlady.
Doesn't it make a noise?" asked my
brother. with quick look At me-
! I'VE don't hear it." replied the land
lady indifferently.
l. ''Will." said my brother. '.just run
back to the bedroom and listen. I be-
licve we've got it. I'm going to send
the boy up to turn the thing" l did as
! he requested. When got into the
room the ghost was groaning in splen-
did form. He was going far faster than
l had ever heard him before.
The mystery was solved.
| We kept our secret We were the ad-
miratiOn of every one who knew the
story of the house. And for very SUBJ
stantial reduction in the rent of q very
comfortable house we had to thank the
Groaning Ghost-Belgravia.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
Writing Under Pressure.

In a chat the other day with . gentle
r,an well-known in the literary world.
he told NE a number Of entertaining
things in connection with his literary
experience. asked him, among other
things, whether he had ever written
anything under high pressure. We had
been talking inspiration. but he Pur-
pOsely miscOnstrued my meaning in the
reply he made.
YES" he said. Il once wrote .
poem of forty lines in as many minutes.
and it wasn't a bad poem either. It
was q case Of compulsory composition
and taxed me more than had over
been taxed before-or since. ] had
sent to certain magazine poem en-.
titled The Lighthouse in . Storm
Not hearing about it for almost year.
l concluded that it had been declined.
l then had it put in a literary weekly Of
which l was the editor. aud had . line
engraving made of it. The page was
made up. and just about to 60 tho
electrotypers. when the magazine for
the month arrived. and upon opening
it there was the poem. A cold chill ran
up my back-or down it. Pm not Ger
tain which. OF course it couldn't aR:
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
SOME STRANGE HANDS.
There Is q Great Deal Of Character
Them il We Only Knew 1t.

Hands reveal habits. occupations.
trades. says a writer in Casselrs Family
Magazine. A crop of them rises at the
thought, like the snow thrust up from a
crowd in honor of a candidate after an
election speech. There is the carpen-
ter's. with the broad thumb, and those
of the fraternity of flour. ingrained,
mealy. and white; the musicians with
the powerful wrist and the fingers deli
cate, sensitive, and agile to the last de-
gree; the hand of the seamstress, with
an honorable little bit of nutmeg-gratcr
on the forefinger that works so hard. OF
the scientific man, who lectures to ex-
plain mysteries to lower mortals, and
whose exactitude of touch is the image
of his mental precision, while the nerv-
GUS stretch of his fingers corresponds
with his tension of mind.
The slight-ot-hand professor is man
of long fingers. A conjurer with slow
and chubby hand would betray the aw-
full secrets of the plum-pudding that is
taken from the depths Of your best hat.
But besides character and trade, the
hands tell the age. Soft and round. the
baby's pair of puff balls, with their fat
wrists deeply ringed. appear as if they
never can do anything in this world.
Yet the girls hand will become treas
9re, and the boys hand will battle with
life and with his fellow-men for the
mastery. 1t is appalling to think of
what those helpless puf-balls have be-
fore them.
After the first dimplcs they become
the inky hands OF school; then the awk-
ward hands that don't know what to do
with themselves. Years pass, the boy's 8
hands ceases to grumble at glOves-yef,
he wears them in extravagant freshness,
In comparison as bis collars grow up
ward. and his shoes tighten within an
inch Of his life. The result of these
phenomena is that a ring begins TO
shine with charming strangeness on an
other hand. that seemed a child's but
yesterday. The young wife tells by her
hands that it is not long since the we'd
ding. because she cannot let that new
ring alone, but twists it around for the
novelty, aud admires it with an uncon-
scious knack of carressing it in idle mo-
ments. Her dimples disappear, as the
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

Mrs. Murphy. do yez remember the
time vhin that son Moike OF yours
toied the dure Of our shanty ono marn-
in. and Dinny had to 60 to worruk
through the chimbly?"
'.Dade, and oi do. Wasn't it mesili
that whaled him fur't wid Ill tho
stringth oi had in me hand?"
'.An' do yez call to moind the time
whin that same Moike did be putin
our baby in the coal-bucket an hang
in av him up in the p'ach three in the
front yarrud?"
..Arrah. now. an wasn't it his own
father that broke his cane to shplinthers
over is bOick fur that thrick?"
AN have yez in mind the episody
whin he put the red piper on the par
lor sthove, when me daughter Bridget
married Patsy Rafferty,
'.Be aisy wild ye. 1t wor meself shure
ss held the by while is father played
st Pathrick's Day an i'm wild bid
shlat Phwat do yez be comm at1"
"Well, DIVE just found . soign over
me dure which sez on it Chinase Laun-
dry wid some baste Nv hsythen name
10 top. and oi Gem over in al nayborli-
ness to AZ yez If you couldn't kindly
whale the divil out av MOike wid .
crowbar. ."-McrcAGnt Traveller.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
CANTON.
Strange Sights I'm = BeWilderinG Old
City.

l am sure that Canton is the queerest.
the most wonderful and bewildering
cid city under the sun. 1t certainly has
more strange sights to the square yard
than any other CITY ! ever saw. and !
am willing to back it against all the
rest. Even now. when try to recall
the strange scenes and sounds l encoun-
tered on that memorable visit it makes
my eyes achs and my brain whirl jus,
as it did then.
Well. well. we'll! What wonderful
old city it is! How bewildering, and
how interesting at every step! This is
no more like the Chinese quarter of
Hong Kong than an old bill is like q
new SILVER dollar. How very, very diff
ferent from what we had expected to
see! Compared with the substantial
newness and Europeanness OF Hong
Kong. this is a veritable fossil. a relic Of
the past with nothing of the nineteenth
century about it save the European
quarter and the steamer on the river.
The city is all on the ground, or. at the
very most. it will not average more than
a story and half in height Where
the shops arc thickeet, each square is
an unbFoken succession Of wide door
ways; for of every shop the whole end
next to the street takes out bodily. From
one street corner to the next there is
only succession of open-ended rooms
and partition walls. with dark, narrow
passages thrown in here and there.
There is no architecture visible, for the
houses are 50 jammed together that it
is impossible to single out any one in
particular without climbing on the roof
to see how much it covers
II this is not Q street IN Wonderland
it might as well be. Il is only about
eight feet wide, and many are less The
caves of the houses on each side project
a quarter or = third Of the way acsoss
the street, and the remaining third in
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
ON ALA
WEEKLY REPUBLICAN
CLUBBING RATES,

THEREAFTER We will furnish to
H both our old and ne,c subscribers,
the Omaha Weekly Republican and JOUR-
NAL At the very low rate Of $3.75 per
year. thus placing within the reach OF all
the best state and county werhlies pub
Iisbed, giving the reader the condensed,
general aud foreign teIeyraphic and state
news Of the week. Try for year and
be satisfied. may y5'St-tf
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

Home Husband: These
berries, my dear. l believe are from
Florida l am told that they are ship
ped here in refrigerator cars. They
have certainly come long way" Wife:
''Yes. and they would certainly 60 much
further il you wouldn't help yourself %
liberally. "-1eras Sittings.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
WEEKLY IAiIOIAL lIPVIHCAJ

Devoted to general news aud original
matter obtained from the Department of
Agriculture ana other Departments OF
The Government, relating to the farming
and planting interests.
An Advocate "f Republican principles,
reviewing fearlcs: Iy and fairly the act.
Of Congress and the National Admins
tration. Price. Sl.@ per year in adv snee.
postage free.
T.. W. FOX,
President aud Manager. e
The NATIONAL REPUBLICAN and the
COLUMBUS JOURNAL, year. $3.50. I2a-X
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27
MH0S0A 0R0 A book Of 100 pages.
DN6UVD M On The best book for an
advertiser to con-
4MVBWYIXIMG G suit, be he expert
k"y y11O y 0&3ySy ~ encs.ti Or otherwise

hcOntains lists Of newspapers and estimates
ofthe cost OF ADVERTISING The advertiser who
wants to spend one dollar finds IN II the In.
formation he requires. while forhiin " no Will
invest ono hundred thousand dollars In ad.
vertising. schsme 10 indicated which Will
meef his every requirement. or can be made
10 do 50 by sligAf changes easy 0rrirsd at by cor
yespOsdeSes. lts editions have been issued.
Sent. post paid. to any address for 10 cents.
write 70 GEO. r. HOWELL . co.
NEWSPAPEK ADVERTISING BUREAU.
i0Spruoo6t Printing House SQ.l, New York.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

Cbinaman are to establish q new
town near Yreka, Cal, to be settled sx-
clusively by MoDgoiana
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

d>n0n nm in presents garen a,oay.
X/III IUuI Send us cents postage.
V0UU3OOU and by mail you will get
free package Of goods of large value,
that will start you in work that will at
once bring you in money faster than any
thing else in America. All about the
$2OO,0W in presents with each box
Agents wanted everywhere, of either
sex, Of all ages, for all the time, or spare
time only, to work for us at their own
homes. Fortunes for all workers abb
solutely assured. Don't delay. III. HAL
LETT & Co., Portland. Maine.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

TINT nfor working people. Send 10
III cents postage, and We will
4AAAA mail you free, Royal, val
liable sample box of goods that will put
you in the way of making more money In
a few days than you ever % thought ut, pos
auired. You can live at home and work
in spare time only, or all the time. All
of both sexes, Of all ages, grandly sue;
cessful. 50 cents to s. easily earned
every evening. That all who want work
may test the business, We make this un.
paralleled offer: To all who are not well
satisfied we will send 81 to pay for the
trouble Of writing us. Full particulars,
directions. ETC., sent free. Immense pay
absolutely sure for all who start ut once.
Don't delay. Address srINsOS u Co.,
Portland, Maine.
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

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WE en- aleANTEE SIX BOXES
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Sole Props Vests Livec Pilla
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

4:
The Columbus journal., 1886-10-27

"All these groans are exactly alike"
he said, considering. THAT'S odd,
isn't it? Will. Ill tell you what The
ghosts up the chimney" Once more
| the sound came, as though to confirm
his words. And it certainly did appear
to proceed from the region of the fire.
place.
Still" resumed nv brother, thought
fully. - ghost IN chimney is an un-
comfortable sort of thing. Will. we'll
have that chimney swept Fancy q
ghost coming down with the SCOT. Wen
see about it the first thing tomorrow"
This awful threat appeared too much
for our unearthly visitor. for he gave
tongue no more that night We went
to bed, and dreamed that the spirit of
. chimneysweep appeared to me and
confessed to the murder of one of the
little boys who were still employed in
those days in his profession. However,
l got some sleep. l got none the previ-
Gus night. ....-.'
We left the Office early in the after
noon. We secured the services of an
intelligent sweep and . sharp little
bright-eyed boy. The chimney was
amply wide for the yOungster to climb.
and up he went We waited in sus-
pense.
When Ire came down he reported
that he had found nothing. We ques-
toned him eagerly. but he had seen
no ghost or anything belonging to one.
We sent him up again. This time he
found out something. This chimney
communicated with the one next door.
Al
next door," said my brother: I'VE
must explore that" Our landlady was
considerably amazed when We pre-
sented ourselves and asked to be al
lowed to explore. After little demnr,
however. she consented. There Wss
but small fire in the CRATE. and this
was taken out.
Il don't make it up until II o'clock
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-09-21

CIrcINxArI, september 20.-Fiour
weaker; family, IS. 25as3.4o Wheat easier
and lower; No. red, 76a76xc. Corn
steady; No. 2 mixed. ale. osts quiet:
NO mixed, arc. Pork neglected at 1880.
Lard heavy ct se.eo. balk-meah dull /;
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-09-21
In Fort Marion.
[By telegraph to the Dispatch.l

JACKSONVILLE, FLA, September
20.-Under Colonel Wade's convoy the
Cfiricahua Apaches were safely lodged
in Fort Marion, at St. Augustine, this
evening at 4 o'clock. The Indians and
soldiers are well. Lieutenant Mills rc.
lieved Colonel Wade from further ro-
sponsibility at the gates Of the fort.
The Indians seen Indifferent to the
change, but do no. like not being per-
mitted to come outside Of the gates.
1t is the opinion of Colonel Wade and
the officers accompanying him that the
Indian war in Arizona is ended. The
infantry officers give the cavalry credit
for the capture of the hostiles. They
intimate that the only thing remaining
to be done is 10 dispose efiectually OF
Geronimo and Natchez. The scouts
and half-breeds say they ought to be
hung.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-09-21
Tho Flash Light"

A fair audience, mostly gentlemen,
vas at the Theatre last night to witness
the opening of Miss Booths engage.
ment in The Flash Light" domestic
comedy-drama written by j. j. Nc
Closkey. The play affords this young
lady, who takes the leading part, bat
little opportunity to show what talent
she possesces, and last nigh. she
evinced considerable nervousness. This
may have been due to the fact that she
was before an audience many of whom
witnessed her first appearance on the
stage, which was in this city and when
she was but child.
Miss Marian Fleming, who appeared
as Betsy Rowland. is pleasing SOU
brette, and has Q voice which IS both
rich and musical. Her stage-bearing is
very natural and easy.
MIR. James o. Barrows is q comedian
of high order, and in the role OF j.
Adolphus BOggs, "here, there, and
everywhere" be has room for ample
display Of his talent. Miss Mary Leeoe
IS Clara Hawkins, an adventures By
ron Douglas rs Ned. Glover, q your1
fisherman who loves Polly Writ
lard, daughter Of Nantucket fisher
man, and who, after many trials and
dissppointments, wins her, settles down
on q western prairie as a ranchman,
and lives . happy life Ed. Holland as
Jsmes Leonard, : snaks-in-the- grass,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-09-21
TIE NEWS or mASCaEsrEs.
Hastings Court-Graud-Ju Indtcf.
ments-Otber Items.


The September term of the Hastings
Court commenced yesterday. There
being q number Of criminal cases to be
tried at this term special grand jury
had been summoned. The sale Of de.
lirquent lands was also advertised then
to take place. Altogether there was
much interest felt, as was manifested
by the large crowd ia attendance.
Judge French's charge to the grand
jury was considered the best one that
he has ever delivered. lie called the
atte ,tion of the grand Jurors to the re-
sponsibility which rcsts upon them, and
refeIrt to many things which should
be examined into and presentmeats
made if warranted by the evidence.
Among them he named carrying con-
cealed weapons, selling liquor to minors
and on Sunday, gambling and lotteries,
sanitary measures, repairing the city
Jail or building new one, running rail-
road trains on Sunday, tho need of new
school-buildings, &C., and returned
thanks to the people for their uniform
kindness to him.
The grand jury, after listening to the
charge with marked attention, retired
and brought in the following indict-
ments, after which, at Ais p. NJ, il
was adjourned over until to-day :
Lewis p. Kidd, one for shooting Thoma
CaIligan, with intent to kill, two for
shooting at Calligan with intent to kill,
three shots were fired,) and one for
carrying concealed weapons Thomas
Johnson and Berta Wood (both colorcd),
for numbering Wash. Walker; Thomas
Cordra, cutting Peter Judge, with in
tent to kill. In the case of Benjamin
Bradshaw and Clarjsss Johnson,
charged with the murder of Walker,
net true bill was found.
The Court was engaged during the
day in the disposition Of civil business.
1t meets again to-day at 10 A. NJ.
Treasurer Bronaugh yesterday sold
the lands returned delinquent for taxes
up to and including 1884 at public auc-
ton. For some Of the property ttGre
was a spirited contest, but the greater
portion Of it was bought in by the Com
monwealth. The sale Of that returned
delinquent for 1885 will take place next
eDring.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-09-21
Personals md Briefs.

Mr.. J. Wesley Wilson, of Louisville,
KY, is in the city.
A white man named William Holman
vas arrested at the Theatre last night
for being drunk and disorderly.
The Senior Lyceum of the Young
Mems Christian Association will hold
a meeting for reorganization tonight.
Mr.. Charles V. Meredith has been
employed by the Richmond Ty pograph-
ical Union to defend their interests in
tho matter Of the Bauchman suit for
,amages.
There will be quite number Of col
ored delegates-moSt Of them from the
South-to the General Assembly Of
the Knights Of Labor which meets
here in October.
Mr.. Edward W. De knight, corre-
spondent Of Brick P0meroy's Demo-
crat, of New York, is in the city. Mr..
De knight is On business trip through
The South to acquaint himself with its
leading men and industries.