The Washington critic., 1886-04-22
AN AWFUL PREDICAMENT.
Written for THE WASHINGTON CRIrrc.
BY HUBBARD t. SMITH.

/ hate to plead guilty to such thing,
but after several sad experiences l am
compelled to admit that such is the
melancholy truth. think, however,
that after my experience of last week
I am in fair way of being cured, and
after you hear my story you will not be
surprised to know that such lesson is
likely to leave lasting impression on
a sensible man, and Ihope am entitled
to be called one, in most matters at
least.
/ had been an inmate of Mrs.
Frothingham's boarding house for two
years, occupying two cosy rooms on
the third floor, and was as happy and
contented as lone bachelor could be
under such circumstances; but during
the latter part of my stay the house
hold affairs had commenced to be Mt
skies and at sevens; the table ran down
and my rooms were neglected. / al
ways made 1t practice never to growl,
but to stand the pressure as long as /
could, then pack my traps and move.
Mrs. rockingham had managed
to keep me comfortable and contented
longer than any other landlady with
whom l had cast my lot, and l was
somewhat loath to leave the place, but
! certainly objected to loaning my
lounge for Bobby to sleep on while his
aunty made his mamma visit, having
my cigars smoked and my decanter
kept empty by the servants, my writing
paper and stamps used by various
f,,o IN, boro nc fba houpaho1I prt tba
straw that broke the camel's back was
put on one evening last week. / had
remained at my Office unusually late-I
generally get home at 6--and hurried
home to dress for. an 8 o'clock
lunch given by Dick Hartwell in honor
of some Philadelphia friends. Irum-
mayed the closet for my dress suit, but
failed to find it. Impatiently 1 rang
the bell and servant answering the
summons / asked what had become of
my clothes. she said she didn't know,
so / asked for Mrs. rockingham.
That lady came up smiling to see what
wanted, but when l told her, look
of dismay took the place of the smile
and she said: Good gracious, Mr.. AL
len, I'm awfully sorry. i thought you
weren't going out this evening, so |
loaned your suit to my. brother, who is
just your size, and he has gone to
progressive euchre party at Senator
Wisdom's. You know brother only
came over on flying visit and didn't
expect to go out, and, consequently,
brought nothing but business suit
with him. You are such an old friend,
you know, and ! was sure you wouldn't
mind"
If l had been fat man, I am sure /
would have had q stroke of apoplexy.
Mind? Oh, no! didn't mind. l just
simply swore like a trooper-had to do
it or would have swooned with rage.
Mrs. rockingham screamed, and after
scathing remark to the effect that she
had until then thought me perfect
gentleman, she left the room with her
nose in the air, highly indignant at my
most ungentlemanly conduct, as she
my rage l sat down to my desk and
scribbled hasty note to Hartwell, ex-
cusing myself and promising ample
explanations for my absence when we
should meet spent the evening
packing my traps, and when | turned
in at o'clock was tired out and slept
like top. The following morning /
paid Mrs. rockingham and informed
her that | intended taking rooms at the
Hilton House, and that man would
Call for my traps. She cody informed
me that my plans met with her appro-
baton; that she had that morning re-
ceived an application for suite Of
rooms, and that those | had occupied
would just fill the bill Indignantly
left the house, mentally vowing that |
would forever after live in hotel and
| give boarding houses wide berth. On
my way down street stopped at the
Hilton House, engaged quarters and
arranged to have my belongings moved
into my new rooms that morning.
On arriving at my Office l found q
telegram awaiting me. asking my i'm
mediate presence in Bennington, some
forty miles distant. Il hurried to the
station, caught the express and two
hours later was in the office of Torts &
Co., attending to the legal business
that had called me there. was KEEP,
busy until six o'clock, then drove
home with Mr.. Tort to cosy dinner
after which we attended the theatre.
caught the midnight express for homo
and half.past 1 found me leisurely
sauntering homeward, fragrant Ha
busily engaged in specializing on my
chances of winning my Bennington
lawsuit. l reached Mrs. Frothing
hams, and running lightly up til,
steps produced my night-key and en-
tered the house. / tip toed up tho
stairway, reached the door of my sit
ting room and noiselessly turned the
knob The door was locked. Strange
thought l, never locked that door
Turning to the bedroom door, which
also opened on the hallway, l turned
the knob, the door opened and en-
tered. The gas was burning
dimly, and started toward th'
burner TO turn 1t up when a pc
culiar sound startled me. AS pause(
and looked around the sound was re
peated. 1t was unmistakeable thi
time, it was good sound health,
snore and coming from the direction o
my bed. My eyes had by this time be
come accustomed to the light, ant
glancing hurriedly around l saw seye
raj articles that looked very much lilk
female wearing apparel. Yes, | wa
not mistaken; there was Il woman's ha
lying on the bureau and dress hang
ing over chair near by. What th
deuce does this mean, thought. Sud
denly the truth flashed upon me. ha,
forgotten that | had moved, and tn
occupant of that bed was the lego
owner of the rooms | had given II
the morning before. Great Scott who
q predicament. What If she shoul
wake? My hair stood on end at III
thought, and great drops of perspira
tion oozed out all over me. Cautiously
hardly daring to breathe, move(
toward the door. In the hall | stoppe
and leaned against the wall, l wa
actually faint with nervous dread A