The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1886-03-17
JACK.
His Account of Himself. and His Opinion
of Cats, Etc.

I'LL ii wy icdSc Holc tIldb w
not say "only dog" No, indeed. l
leave such remarks for the half-starved
black-and-tan terrier that sometimes
comes to play with me. .H
Why should l say it? l am a fine
bird-dog, worth considerable, have
been stolen, and, in fact, have had
great many adventures because of my
value. Then am handsome. You
needn't think because l tell it that l
am VAN. No, lam only honest enough
to say outright what you human beings
all think. Else why do you fill your
house with mirrors, look at yourselves
SO much, then say: "Oh, whenever l
see any thing homely l just shut my
eyes and look at the clouds"
also like cats. At least, l like our
cat. But what is he good fOrP He is
SO lazy and aristocratic. All he does is
to come down to breakfast somewhere
between eleven and twelve, then he
goes back upstairs again and sleeps all
| VHC dilCIuooil1 ldhcS Ills Ucd w It'll tnc
milkman comes, and as he is gone till
two or three in the morning, suppose
attends-or possibly helps give-the
nightly concerts that occur in our
neighborhood.
Oh! how / do love to bark at those
cats But about nine my mistress says:
"Jack, Jack! It's time to come in,"
| nd i al f,.an Il ~,
by the back window, as the cat does, ]
have to obey.
l not only like to bark at cats, but at
people. But much as you people think
you know, you do not seem to be aware
that l have different kinds of barks.
Some are respectful; others you
should just hear me bark at the
''preps" or the little boys that laugh
and throw stones at me. should like
to bite some of them, but they are so
very dirty, often, that | don't, and
then am a deacon's dog and it
wouldn't look well.
When college professor goes by l
bark, but it is only to show how much
| admire his plug hat and respect his
learning. ...'.'
do not like the "sophs." They
think they know more than they do.
But they are really pretty good judges
of the dainty little canes they swing so
jauntily. and their smiles are irresist-
ible-to the girls. However, there is
one Of them l don't hate. Because
last spring term there was young
lady coming to our house that this
"soph" was quite devoted to. So one
day just before she came he went by,
saw me in the yard. called me to him
and petted me. He even did not scold
when l put my dirty paws on his
clothes simply to show how honored l
felt at his noticing me. l suppose he
was afraid l might bark too loudly
some evening when he came to call.
l am afraid you will begin to think l
spend all my time philosophizing, but
don't. No, am true American, and
| work occasionally-when Ican't help
it. My little master has taught me
how to draw a sled or wagon. He
helps in his fathers store, and when
they are very busy we help deliver
goods.
They harnessed me up the other day
to draw load. The weather was hot.
l was tired, my master was cross, and
l wanted to stay in the shade and eat
flies instead Of working. Finally
trotted off, had the wagon emptied,
turned toward home and then stopped.
! wanted to ride. couldn't see why a
dog shouldn't ride sometimes as we'll
as boy. So stopped. Well, at last
my master comprchended whatI want
ed. embarrassed me, told me to get in
and drew me to the store. Oh! | rode
down in fine style; my head up, my
tail flying and my horse making good
time.
The next day it was hot again; SO
when it was time to 60 to the store
went out in the backyard and lay un.
der an apple-tree till they were gone.
Then came around in front, scratched
up lot of good-for-nothing pansies
that grew in the incest, shadiest place
in the whole yard. Oh! had a good
time then. The dirt was so soft and
cool, the flies had not found me, and ]
was thinking of how pleasant it was to
live, when the owner of the fower-bed
came out. l started, but not quick
enough, for she boxed my ears and
scOlded me awfully. And now they
have put back the old pansies and stuck
a lot OF horrid little sticks in the bed
that l can neither scratch up nor liz
down on. What do they want of those
. pansies. anyhow They can't draw 8
; wagon nor keep burglars out at night
|, However, I don't always do that either
for the other night one got in upstairs
in the front room when l was down
stairs in back room, and vet in thu
morning they sail: "Where wa.
Jackp" Now, you see, if they would
only let me stop out nights as wan
to, would have seen the man ant
kept him away. My paw is getting
, tired of writing, and as 1 am only 81,
years old l think this is rather Ions
letter for me to write. So will 90 anC
see whose yellow cat that was that JUS
went in the barn. Ever yours,
JACK CADY.