River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1886-05-13

The client. pleased. satisfied. and
smiling, chuckled thinking how nicely
he had wormed out the advice de-
sired and pumped his lawyer free of
cost.
The feast over, the lawyer departed
equally pleased, and, both being salts
tied, all went merry as a marriage bell,
But few days afterward the client re-
ceived letter from his lawyer inform
ing him that the charge for profession
al advice and consultation was 13s. al.
and would he kindly attend to the
payment of the sums at his earliest con
venience and oblige2" The client
was wild caught in bis own trap; but
being determined TO outwit the LAWYER
and gain his own ends. he forwarded
10 the latter a bin for dinner, wines.
and accessories supplied. on the 10th
inst, amounting TO thirteen shillings
and four pence, saying that # he wound
settle the inclOscd bill he should ouly
be too pleased and happy to settle the
lawyers little bill. The lawyer re-
torted by threatening TO commence an
acton against mine host for selling
wines without a license unless his (the
lawyers bill was Immediately paid.
Do ! neeb TO say that the lawyer was
victorous?
When ! was a boy / heard Of law
yer who was called up in the middle OF
cold winter night to draw up the
viii Of an old farmer who lived some
three miles away, and who was diving.
I be messenger had brought cart TO
convey the lawyer TO the farm, and the
latter in due time arrived at his desti-
nation. When he entered the house
he was Immediately ushered into the
sick room, and he then requested to be
supplied with pen, ink, and paper.
There were none in the house. The
lawyer had not brought any himself,
and what was he To do? Any lead pen
ell? he inquired. No; they had none.
The farmer was failing, though quite
conscious. At last the legal gentleman
saw chalked up on the back 81 the bed
room door column upon column of
figures in chalk These were mil K
scores or shots" tie Immediately
asked for piece of chalk, and then,
kneeling on the floor, he wrote out
concisely upon the smooth hearth-stone
the last will and testament of the dy-
ing man. The farmer subsequently
died The hearth-stone will was sent
to the principal registry in London,
with special affidavit, and was duly
proved. the viii being deposited in
the archi -es Of the registry. l may
mention hat the law does not state
upon what substance or with what in
strument a will must be written
There was once a PLAN, oUtspoken
Judge, who, addressing the jury, said
Gentlemen of the jury, IN this case
the counsel on both sides are unintcl-
ligible, the witnesses on both sides are
incredible, and the plaintiff and defend
ant are both such bad characters that
to me il is indifferent which way YOU
give your verdict.
Ii was once reported to the notorious
Judge JeilIies that the Prince of Or
aEge was on the point of entering into
the country, and that he was already
preparing a manifesto as to his induce
meIts and objects in so doing. Pray,
my Lord Chief-t ustice, said gentle.
t!cman present, what do you think
will be the heals Of this manifesto?'
Mine VIII be one" he grimly replied.
An undoubted abb was some time
ago successfully proved in an Ameri-
car court, as follows:
And you say YOU are innocent of
the charge of stealing this rooster from
Mr.. Jones?' quered the Judge.
Yes, sir; | am innocent-as lnno-
cent as a child.
You are confident you did not steal
the rooster fom Mr.. Jones?
Yes, sir; and can prove it.
'HOw can You prove it?
Il can prove that didn't steal Mr..
Jones rooster, Judge. because | stole
night aud Jones lives five miles from
Graston S.
The proof Is conclusive said the
Judge: discharge the prisoner.
Gentlemen Of the jury, said an
Irish barrister, 1t will he for YOU Il
say whether this defendant shall be
allowed to come into court with IN
blushiug footsteps, with the cloak o.
hypocrisy in his mouth, aud draw three
bullocks out of my client pocket with
impuu:ty.'
We have heard of several eases OF
female ingenuity in aiding the escape
Of prisoners. Here is one: The Grim
iuals were handcuneG. and with their
escort was awaiting the train which
would convey them TO the county Jail.
Suddenly a woman rushed through the
crowd Of spectators with a shower Of
teas and cried out: kiss me good-by.
Nodi' The escort good-naturedly al
lowed the process OF OSCILLATION to bc
performed. and the sheriff smiled feel
ingly. The woman passed key from
her own to the prisoners mouth, with
which he undid the bracelets" and
escaped while the train was in motion.