The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1886-02-20

which none can enter. Nobody can dis
cover 1t, nobody can look into it-beCaust
nobody else is exactly like me-beGaus,
nobody understands anybody,
"D0 you Youraelt even understand mi
at this moment? No, you think l am mad
You are watching me-you are on yonl
guard against me You are saying TO your
self: what has got into him tonight ?
But II, some future day or other, VOL
should find yourself able 10 fully divine
to fully grasp the nature Of my horrible
and subtle suderipg,-then come at leas
and say to me; i have understood you
and you will make me happy, Tor second
"But women especially cause me t.
perceive my solitude.
"MlseIyl misery How much have
suffered through them, became they have
oilen,-muCh more often than men,
given me the illusion Of not being really
alone
"Whep one enters into the domain Of
Love, one seems to grow larger. A super
human felicity ills your being, But dc
you know why? DO you know the reason
Of that vast sensation OF happlness2 1t ID
simply and solely because one then i'm.
agines he Is no longer alone. The isola-
ton, the abandonment Of the human
creature appears to cease, Oh! what an
error!
Woman, woman, far more tortured
than We men are by that eternal need OF
love which gnRws our lonesome hearts
woman IL the great Lie OF the Dream,
"Iuu have known the deliCiousness OF
those hours we pass taCa To lace with that
long haired being, whose features be.
witch, whose look makes us dslirIous
What lnsdness then deludes us2 What
illusion carries US away2
"She and ] We are to become one, 1t
seems, by aud by bu' that by and by
never comes; aud after long weeks Of
waiting, OF hoping, Of deCeiliul Joy, the
day comes when l suddenly find myself
much more alone than | ever'was before.
"After each kiss, each smbrace-the
isolation becomes Yaster, And how tor
turing it is, how irightul!
"ARd then, sdieu! 1t ID all over. After
q while one scarcely recognizes the woman
who had been everything 10 Rs for one
moment OF our lives, and whose Eecret
thought we have never been able TO read
"a thought, commonplace enough, no
doubt, il one could know II,
Even in those hours when it would
seem that in the mysterious accord OF two
brings-in the complete intermiugling OF
all desires and apprehension could de-
scand into the very depth Of apother's
soul-one word, one single word, reveals
to us our error, and berays, as light
ming flash in the night, the black and un'
iathomable gulf between rs,
"And nevertheless, the b sst thing in all
this world IL 10 pass an evening with the
woman you love-without Rpeaking at all
feeling almost perfectly happy In thH
simple feeling that she Is there. Never
ask for anything more than this Joy; for
two beings can never mix together.
AS for myself, have nOH closed the
door OF my heart, no longer allow my.
self to tell anyone what believe, what !
think or what | love. Knowing myself
forever condemned to hideous solitude, |
observe things without ever giving my
opinion. WHAT matter to me opinions,
disputes, pleasures beltels2 Being unable
to share anything with anybody, have
become indifferent to everything. My in.
visible thought remains unexplored. i
always have certain commonplace phrases
ready as answers to hequealiOns address.
ed mo every day, aud smile that means,
Yes when will not even takethe trouble
to speak.
SD. you understand meF,,
We had assembled the avenue again as
far as the Arc do Triomphe Then we had
retraced our steps back 10 tile Place de Ia
Concorde; for he hadeaid all these things
very slowly, together with many other
things which can not now remember.
He stopped; and, suddenly extending
his arm toward the lofty ohelisk Of granite
Towering above the Paris pavement, to
lose It's long Egyptian profile among the
stars) a monument In exile, bearing on its
flank in strange craven signs the history Of
It's Country-my friend cried out:
"Sse! we are all like that stonel"
Then he left INC without another word.
Was no drunk? Was he crazy? Was
lie speaking the truth? l do not yet know.
Sometimes l think he was right-then
again 1t seems to me that he must have
lost his reason.