The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-02-08
WIT AND WISDOM.

drophobja?" asked Mrs P."Idon believe aword
ont. Plaster of Paris hahn no suctionary qali-
ties, and wouldn't illuminate the poison half as
ut isn't plaster Of Paris, Ma said Matilda
There's celebrated DR.. P-a-st-e-u I, living IN
ba by incubation, and lately four children who
had been bitten by a mad dog were sent there
from Newark to be treated
LA, SUI is that so? Well, that was kind i'll the
neighbors. And the little ones got back all safe
and sound, they? do hope the ire ,tment of this
Dr. Pasteur will prove sufticacions but haven't
much faith in immaculaton anyway, even in
small poX.'
Carter's Little Liver Pills will positively cure
SIGH headache and prevent its return. This is not
talk, but truth. One pill dose. To be had of
all druggists. See advertisement
The burial of relative in Timur is very seri-
Gus and expensive business. 1t involves a gift to
the deceased from all his blood relatives, and in
return a burial feast II the deceased is man OF
rank this feast is matter very often of ruin to
his family. The festivlty must be given, and at
the same time the hospitality is expected to be ex
traordinarily lavish Consequently it often hap
pens that the day of the funeral is indefinitely
postponed for months and even for years. until
the family had time to accumulate sufficient
wealth of cattle and substance. In the meantime
the corpse is incl0Sed in mating and housed in
tree or a hut and left to itself. Then for days
there is a savage banqueting and revealing. and
neSe Review
Those unhappy persons who suffer from ner
vousness and dyspepsia should use Carriers Lit
tie Nerve Pills, which are made expressly for
sleepless, nervous, dyspeptic sufferers. Price 20
cents, all druggists
seThere are a thousand Cinnamon suffering for
bread in British Columbia remarked Mr.. Snaggs,
looking up from his paper:
fTc no. en-
they don't eat rice. understood they like that
better"
Colgan's Taffy Tolu sells like hot cakes. A tab
let of it ehewed after meals will relieve indiges
ton.
A colored couple came to minister with twins
to have them baptized
'Cherubim and Seraphim,' replied their moth
er.
.sWhy?e asked the minister in establishment.
Because" she replied. de pra'r book says,
de cherubim and seraphim continually do cry
an desc yere chiPen do muffin else.
Athlophoros is the best thing ever discovered
for the cure Of the terrible disease, rheumatism.
With that remedy at hand the dread is all taken
away, and can keep the enemy at bay. 1t should
be in every home. Chas. Nothrop, Woodmont,
Ct
We read the other day of a prominent San
Francisco citizen, now abroad, who is in0rdnately
vain of his scagt knowledge of the French Ian
guage, He supped with an American friend after
the theatre. and sumlnoning the waiter addressed
him thus with affected nonchalance;
''Gareoni QitelLe heltre est-it''
Waiter (politely)-"Je ne sails pas, Monsieur,
4adts je couS Jefdi sGe0ir.'
Rich American-"My God! is it as late as all
that? We had better make for bed.
THE SECRET ART OF BEAUTY lies not in cos
metics but is only impure blood and healthy per-
Torrance of the vital functions, Which can be OBJ
tanned by using Burdock Blood Bitters.
..say," said the small boy of the Var family to
the minister s'do you like ROSTERS tails?''
aWhy, no?" said the minister III establishment;
'swhy do you ask?'
"0h,' said the boy, "Pa said you were awful
fond of cocktails"