davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
A Just Decision.

On the Russian frontier it once happened
that an officer was playing at cards with a
friend, when Jew was trying to smuggle
himself into the Russian empire without pro
per wise of his passport. The sentinel on
guard arrested him and reported to the officer
"All right" said he.
Hours afterward the sentinel again asked
what he was to do with the Jew. The Cap
tain, furious at being interrupted, shouted,
why d. the Jew Hang him!" The Cap
tain went on playing until the morning,
when suddenly remembering the prisoner, he
called the soldier and said, Bring in the
Jew~ 1.-THE Jew?" said the amazed soldier;
"but hanged him, as you ordered"
"What?" said the Captain, you have COM
mitted murderw He arrested him, and the
Observation-Disclosures up TO tie Emperor
Inquiring, before signing so serious docu-
ment, and learning how matters stood, the
Emperor decided that the soldier who, with
out reasoning, had implicitly obeyed so extra.
ordinary an order, of his superior, was to be
made corporal; that the officer who, while
on duty, for the sake of gambling had given
the murderous order was to be sent to Siberia
and that his pay was to 90 to the family OF
the poor Jew who had so iniquitously been
murdered.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
The Egis & Intelligencer
Is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY BY
F- w B A K Il r..

Terns-S so Year, in Advance.
TRANSIENT ADvERTIsEMENTs.--OneS Square, 3
Insertions orless $150. Each subsequentinsertion,
70 cents Longer advertisements in the same pro-
portion. Aspace equal to six lines makesasquate.
Ftgure-work double price.
Obituaries and Personal Communications will
be inserted at ten cents per Incl
GH- Yearly advertisements atspecial rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
Stiff ButtOnhOIes.

The gentlest of men who can take the Sc
rous ills OF life in the calmest way, has been
sometime driven to the verge Opportunity by
stlf buttonholes nothing so fatal to peace of
mind and so subversive of good breeding as
this unoffending vacuum. Mind and body
often become so fatigued by the endeavor to
properly subdue the unyielding buttonhole
and force it to fulfill its function that heroes
OF many battles sink exhausted after COM
bat with the periphery of thread and linen
Distressed at his moral degeneration, a victim
of water. He now applies modicum of
Offending spot, and has no further cause of
vexation. The buttonhole, softened by the
drop of water, welcomes the button with
great alacrity Moreover, after this emollient
treatment, it moulds itself to the shape of the
button without detriment to the brilliant
polish of cuff and collar.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
Transnlantiny

There is popular notion that cabbage,
cauliflower, celery and tomatoes must be
transplanted. One farmer says he grows
many cabbage plants, sowing them in rows
twenty.one inches apart, so they can be cul-
tivated with harrow. Last summer he
pulled the plants from every other clean,
leaving rows three and a-half feet apart, from
which rows he thinned out the plants as they
were needed, Finally he pulled or hoed out
the plants until they stood about two feet
apart in the rows. AS result the cabbage
left in the rows headed just as well as those
which had been transplanted. BY far the
earliest, largest and best celery, he says, he
grew last year was not transplanted 1t was
formerly thought necessary to make trenches
for celery, now few growers in the Northern
States continue the practice. Will not trans
planting soon be equally thing of the past !?
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
49,
Conversation.

"The power to converse well is very great
charm" says Ruskin. "You think anybody
can talk2 How mistaken you are! Any
body can chatter. Anybody can exchange
idle gossip. Anybody can recapituate the
troubles OF the kitchen, the cost of the
last new dress, and the probable doings of
the neighbors But to talk wisely, instruct
lively, freshly and delightfully."- is an immense
accomplishment 1t implies exertion, obser-
walton, study Of books and people, and re.
captivity of impression" Plato banished the
musicians from his feasts that the charms
of conversation might have no interference
but in our later fashions many prefer music
rather than the gossip of the hour which of
ten degenerates into ,rivialities, wearsome
and commonplace.
AS mirror reflects the face so converse.
ton reveals the mind, and DR.. johnson said
he could tell just how much man knew If
he could hear him talk for awhile.-The Cur
rent,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
VOL. XXXI---NO. Is.
VARIETIES.

-Smith-"What fiery red hair that cir
has. Looks as if she were abaze Do you
| know her?" "Oh yes she is an old flame of
mine"
Trying to do business without adyerts-
| ing is like winking at girl in the dark
you may know what you are doing, but no.
body else does.
-"Pat, what time rs it?" "Oidon't know,
Mike, but let's guess at it, and then, begorra,
the man as comes furthest off can go out to
the kitchen and look"
"A little girl was seated at the table op-
poste gentleman with waxed mustache
After gazing at him for several moments, she
exclaimed: "My kitty has got smellers, too'
Little Rudolph one day begged an invi-
tation to dinner. At the table his hostess anx-
iously inquired: Rudolph, can you cut
your own meat?" "Humph," said Rudolph.
who was saving away; cant 1? I've cut
up just as tough meat as this at home"
Some one has figured out that life is like
harness because it contains "traces" of care,
shines" of trouble, "bits" of good fortune,
"breeches" of good manners and "bridled'i
tongues, and every one has "tug" to pull
through, and there is no "hold back" for us.
Its poor work." says Mrs Poyser,
"allays settin' the dead above the Twin We
shall all on us be dead sometimes, / reckon
1t 'ud be better if folks 'ud make much on us
beforehand, instid of beginnin' when we're
gone. It's but little good you'll do watering
last years crop"
-"Yis," said Pat, "oi've signed two
pledges, wan to the praste an van to his
Honor"
"lt's foine man yez are, Pat" replied
Bridget, an do yez think yell kape them ?"
"Begorra, Oil thry an kape wan av thin,
anyhow"
No more touching compliment could be
paid than that the child who had overheard
a conversation at the table on the qualities of
a wife. AS he stopped over to kiss his
mother, he remarked mamma, when get
big, I'm going to marry lady just 'xacty
ike you"
-Bassomierre, French Ambassador to
Spain. was telling Henri Quatrc how he en-
tered Madrid. ~ was mounted on the small
est mule in the world" "Ah," said Henri
what an amusing sight-the biggest ass on
The smallest mule" II was your Majesty's
was the rejoinder
Mo- said an old and respected deacon
residing in the Upper End" II don't ap-
prove of boss racin, but when another mem
Der of the church becomes so goddess as to
Try to pass me on the road comm home from
neetin' feel it my duty to let out little on
he reins, just to keep him from putin his
rust in earthly things"
The language of sealing wax promises
o supplant that of flowers Red wax must
De used for business only; black wax for
Mourning, and blue to signify love. Five
ints OF blue are made to express all the grad
4tions of the passion. Pink wax is for congra-
ulations, and white is for wedding and ball
invitations
You're the belle of the town."
The young man said,
AS he smootbed the curls
On her queenly head.
He took the hint. the young man did
When she gave her little head fling,
And murmured softly in his ear,
What good is bell without a rng?"
-LHjc1nO TljEln.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16

down, the Meissonnier had broken its core
and lay prone on the mantel with the jave
lin of bronze halberdier sticking throug
the canvass, while the seventy-tive dolla
frame was broken into fragrants.
"Dear me, what pity p said grandma.
ut is the best thing that could have hap
pened y said Augusta, bitterly.
That very afternoon sheriffs officers tool
possession of the house, and the Mapetol
family slept in hired lodgings at the top of ,
cheap fiat"
Augusta came to her husband the mex
day.
"Ah, Gerard" she said, "what should evel
have done without that darling old grand
mother of yours / may as well confess it all
| was just going to take dose Of laudanun
and end all my shame and remorse at thus
having ruined you, when she came in like a
guardian, as she is. And, oh, she talked SO
beautifully to me-just exactly as if | were a
| little child who had done wrong out of sim
| pie inadvertence. And she wants us to 60
| out to her old farm house on the Housatonic
River and live there. It's all furnished, she
says, and-and'-with little hysterical
laugh-''there are no MeissonnieIs Mere!"
So the young couple went out to the old
farm house, where the sumacs were begin
ming to flaunt their crimson velvet torches,
and the stone walls were garlanded in scarlet
festoons of woodbne, and there they began
the world anew.
Dear grandma" said Mrs. Napoleon, one
day, show wrong an estimate / formed of
your character when first you came to us |"
You thought me meddlng old woman,
ell p said grandma, her keen blue eyes spark
ling shrewdly through her glasses.
but don't think so now," said Augusta.
81 am so much hammer here with NV bees
and my chickens, and all the beautiful things
which surround me. And Gerard hasn't got
that troubled look in his face all the time.
And he is growing so sunburned and heal.
thy"
You are both Of you contented, ch ?" said
grandma, knitting diligently away.
ooh, yes quite" said Augusta, giving the
old lady's withered hand little squeeze.
"Well, then" said old Mrs. Mapleton, II
will tell you liale secret; there is ten
thousand dollars in the Woodhaven bank
which / have been saving up for Gerard to
begin business again"
"Keep it there" said Gerard, promptly. l
am satisfied with being farmer"
"And what does Augusta say?" asked the
old lady
Augusta says the same" declared the
young wife. "She is quite, quite satisfied"
Grandma Napoleon smiled. The lesson of
adversely had not been in vain.
Mrs. Augusta added:
1.-The picture of woods and fields that |
can see at sunset from this back yard is love-
lier than all the Meissonniers in the world"
II think so, too, said Gerard but in his
secret heart he believed that the happy light
in Augustus eyes was still fairer and
sweeter picture.-N. Y. Ledger.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
AnecdOte of Daniel Webster

Here is q new Daniel Webster story: The
god-like Daniel once invited Chester Harding,
the artist to dine with him. The day before the
dinner another friend sent Harding a bottle
ofrare old Scotch whisky. When Harding
went to Webster's house next day he took
his bottle with him, knowing how highly his
host would prize it. Leaving it on the hall
table he entered the parlor. "Good evening,
Mr.. Harding" said Webster. Good evening 9,
MIR. Webster" said Harding "l have taken
the liberty of bringing an old Scotch friend
with me-" | am very glad you did," re-
man ?" "He is in the hall" said Harding :
twill you 60 out and see him ?" Eyes, sir"
said Webster. So they went out together
Here he is, sir" said Harding, pointing to
the bottle. "Ah," said Webster, smiling,
"ths is the gentleman who bathes in hot
water"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
That Settled IL.

One of the boarders in private boarding
house in this city, not over prompt in paying
board bills, grumblingly observed, morning
or two ago, in the hearing of the "boarding
missus," This coffee isn't settled" II guess
1t will be settled before your board bill is set.
tied" she quickly retorted. This was a set
tier he little expected. 1t set ripple of
laughter in motion round the table, and,
when it settled, the peacemaker of the house
observed that there were probably grounds
for complaint on both sides, which settled
the matter, and harmony resumed her reign.
Boston Courier.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
Only an Eyelash.

A well-known financier says at the close
of business hours once he was porting and
perspiring over a long column of figures on
the balance sheet The sum total of the
column should have read six thousand and
ninety dollars. Instead of that amount,
however, it showed total of six thous-
and, nine hundred and ninety dollars or
nine hundred dollars more than he could
account for. The vexatious mistake caused
the colonel to scratch his head vigorously and
wonder where the excess was in the agoniz-
ing column of figures. While going over the
column carefully for the twentieth time he dis
covered the error, and it was one that would
hardly occur once in thousand years. One
of the colonels eyelashes had fallen on the
balance sheet and adhered to the first cipher
in the line of figures converting it into a
nine.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
M Third Party

Maud and her George were in the parlor,
and Maud's father-who, by the way, is
down on the Mugwumps-was laying down
his political tenets to Maud's George
81 tell you" he exclaimed the Democra-
tic and Republican parties embody all there
is of wisdom in party management. We
don't want any third party here"
THAT is it precisely, papa" replied Maud ;
"a third party is nuisance anywhere"
Maud's father counted noses, concluded he
was the Mugwump, and withdrew from the
field"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16

WoMAN's MISUNDERSTANDING of the
comparative rapidity of mental perception in
men and women, General Springer, of the
Treasury Department says:
"A man VIII examine a note Systematically
and deduce logically from the imperfect en-
craving, blurred vignette, or indistinct sign
ture that it is a counterfeit, and be wrong
four cases out of ten. A woman picks up
note, looks at ii in desultory fashion other
own, and says: THAT'S counterfeit
why ?" Because it is" she answers
promptly, and she is right eleven cases out
of twelve"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16

Society is just like pie. There is an
upper crust and lower crust, but the real
strength and substance lies between them.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
TO MEMBERS.

Office QfMe Mutual Fire Insurance Co. |
IN Hartford County.
NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN that an ad-
journed meeting OF the members of this Company
will be held in the Court House, Bel Air. at IL
o'clock, A. M. MONDAY, April 18TH 1885, to
consider the reports of committees appointed al
the annual meeting. full attendance is re-
quested.
cap GEO. II. CAlRNES, Secretary.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1886-04-16
gnetical.

WHAT TIME is IT:
What time is it p?
Time to do well,
Time to live better,
Give up that grudge,
Answer that letter,
Speak that kind word to tighten q sorrow,
DO that good you would leave till tomorrow.
Time to try hard
In that new station;
Time to build on
A solid foundation;
Giving up needlessly changing and drifting,
Leaving the quicksands that ever are shifting.
What time is it?
Time to be thrifty,
Farmer, take warning;
Pillow in the spring-time,
Sow in the morning;
Spring is coming, Zephyrs are blowing,
heaven viii attend to the quickenIng and grow
ing.
Time to count cost,
Lessen expenses
Time to look well
10 the gates and the fences.
Making and mending as good workers should,
Shutting out evil and keeping the good,
What time is it?
Time to be in earnest,
Laying up treasure;
Time to be thoughtful,
Choosing true pleasure.
Loving stern justice, of truth being fond;
Making your word just as good as your bond.
Time to be happy,
Doing your best;
Time to be trustful,
Leaving the rest
knowing in whatever country or cline,
No'er can we call back one moment of time.
Tile Rugbe,an.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16
Effects of the Traffic.

We find that all drinking is dan
gerous-even moderate " drinking.
There is no habit that so insensibly
steals upon man and makes him its
slave. The grave has uncounted thou
sands of moderate 7" drinkers who
died of rum-base, abject victims of the
terrible thirst which overpowered them.
To the body it is poison. 1t ruins the
nerves, it enfeebles the brain, it de-
stroys the stomach and digestion; it
poisons the liver, it destroys the kid
neys; it bloats and disfgures man, it
ruins his skin by blotching and REDEEM
ing it. 1t shortens life, even where it
does not kill outright. To the moral
nature, it is equally as great an evil. 1t
deadens all sense of right and wrong.
1t inhames the passions, and leads d.
rectly to crime. 1t makes man forget
his duty to his parents, his wife, his
children; it destroys his usefulness as
citizen, as a contributor to the wealth
and natural prosperity of the nation.
1t is an evil to man, and no less an
evil TO the state. 1t is the most potent
factor in filling our jails and peniten-
tiaries and insane asylums. Itincreases
our taxes for all these things, and for
the support of almshouses filled with
the helpless wives and children of these
victims of rum. 1t is evil to all, and
nothing but evil.-TOledo Blade.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16
Play.

Play is a good thing in its place. We
love to see children play and enjoy
themselves-and grown people, too
by way of change and recreation from
more serious duties. The way people
play also shows character. If any one
is fair, truthful, honest, and good-tem-
pered in play, he is likely to be the
same in other things, and so the re-
verse. Good, earnest play has its
temptations and dangers as well as
other things, and our young friends
have need to be cautioned against
yielding to them. To be cheating,
mean and full of ill-temper when
beaten, or ugly when things do not go
as desired, is very improper. Disputes
and quarrels may easily arise, and of
these every one should beware. Play,
but always play fair; keep in good tenn
per, avoid wrangling and disputes, and
play will be good and healthful thing.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16
The Book.

tell you, brother, when you get
where you like this Book and read this
Book, ah, you are laying a foundation
then. You boys like this Book. Let
your delight be in the counsel and in
the law of the Lord. l never think of
what this Bible is to me but what 1
think of the little boy who was the good
boy in the town, and all the boys recog-
nized him as a good, upright boy, and
they set their traps to get him drunk.
They fixed their plan: they sent one of
the shrewdest of the bad boys to him,
and he met him on the street, and he
says, " Johnny, come into the grocery
and let us have mint julip." Johnny
says % no, / can't go in there"
/" Why?" My Book says Look not
upon the wine when it is red, much
less drink it, " co., he says, " know
the Book says that, but come in and
take one drink" and he says, (" can't
do that" Well. why?" I" Because
my Book says, AT last it biteth like an
adder and stingeth like serpent {"
He says " know the Bible says that,
but come in and take one drink"
No." he says, ," My Bible says When
tne sinner enllce tnee, consent tnOu
not" And the bad boy turned off
and left him, and went over to his COM
panions, and they said, " Did you see
him?" 50 Yes" Did you get him
to drink" Ono; could not get him in
the grocery Why?" Well" he
says, " that boy was just as chock-full
of the Bible as he could be, and could
not do thing with him. Sam Jones.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16
Jessie's Sewing Aches.

Jessie sat down by her mother to sew.
She was making pillow-case for her
own little pillow.
have dreadful pain at my side,"
said Jessie, in few minutes. 60,
my hand is so tired!" was the next.
Next there was something the matter
with her foot, and then with her eyes,
and so she was full of trouble.
Will send for doctor?" said her
mother.
I" The doctor for me, mother?" cried
the little girl, as surprised as she could be.
Certainly, little girl so full of
pains and aches must be sick, and the
sooner we get the doctor the better"
/ have heard of other little girls be-
sides Jessie who had sewing aches and
pains whenever their parents had any
work for them to do. This is disease
called selfshness," and hope none
of my little readers are afflicted with it
Selected.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16
Liquor in the Army.

General Mcclellan found it difficult
to prevent the sale of liquor to soldiers,
and finally gave orders that the stock
of any one violating the regulations
should be summarily destroyed. The
next night the provost guard visited
Springman's Hotel on Pennsylvania
avenue and destroyed nearly $4,000
worth of liquors of various kinds. The
guard went into the cellar of the es-
adjustment, where most of the liquor
was stored, and stove in the heads of
the casks and barrels, pouring the con-
tents upon the floor, forming pool
deep enough to float bateau. The
Columbia restaurant, kept by Joseph
Piatz, situated on the square below,
was next overhauled by the guard, and
the liquor found in the same manner.
The atmosphere in the neighborhood of
the Springman House was fragrant with
the odor of whiskey, brandy, gin and cor
dials, and was shifted up by the several
old topers standing near with peculiar
satisfaction, Ben /: Perley Poore.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16
A Cat That Can Read.

Il have cat," said lady to me the
other day, " that knows when letter
comes for her."
GA letter." exclaimed, in astonish-
ment.
eyes, letter; and if you don't be-
lieve it will prove it to you. Just
wait minute until direct one"
NY friend left the room and in few
minutes returned with sealed en-
velope, addressed Miss Pussy, No. -,
Marlboro Street, City,"
"Now," said she, if you will kindly
post that for me tonight, and be here
when the postman comes around on his
first delivery tomorrow morning, you
shall see that I am telling you facts"
I posted the letter as requested, and
was at my friends house promptly the
next morning. Soon the bell rang and
shortly afterward the servant entered
with bundle of letters, among which
was that for Miss Pussy. Placing them
near her feline highness on the floor,
my friend said:
"Now, Miss Pussy, pick out your
letter."
Sure enough, Pussy at once showed
an interest, and in a moment had
pushed aside with herpaw the envelope
addressed to her. l was about to
acknowledge my sin of incredulity when
my friend said:
"Wait a minute. She'll open it and
devour the contents"
Scarcely had she said this when Miss
Pussy had torn the envelope open, and
in moment was literally devouring its
contents-catnip.-BoStOn Herald.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-06-16

chants of Cleveland, Ohio, to a lad who
was opening PARCEL "Young man,
unite the strings; do not cut them"
1t was the first remark that he had
made to new employee. 1t was the
first lesson the lad had to learn, and it
involved the principles of success or
failure in his business career. Point
ing to well-dressed man behind the
counter, he said:
"There is man who always whips
out his scissors and cuts the strings of
the package in three or four places. He
is good salesman, but he will never
be anything more. presume he lives
from hand to mouth, and is more or
less in debt. The trouble with him is
that he was never taught to save.
told the boy just now. to unite the
strings, not so much for the value of
the string as to teach him that every
thing is to be saved and nothing
wasted. "-ETchdnoe.