The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1886-03-04
SUNBRAMS.

If a man is to die by inches be
wants to be tall.
4 Never suppress an orator. A
cackling goose saved Rome.
The saddest part about this life
is that the fool killer works slowly.
A cheap pair of slippers-The
! girl and her "feller'' who fall down
in the rink.
Entering the asylum for inebri-
ates, be asked: "Do you treat
drunkards here?' "Yes, sir"
"WelI, Tn one. Where's yer barY''
A dominion statesman once char
acterzed the just completed Canada
Pacific railroad as a line running
from hell to nowhere through a
swamp"
Doctors are beginning to warn
mothers that babies should not be
kissed upon The lips, but the small
boy is still at the mercy of the old
lady's slipper.
A medical man says that the cas-
lest way to take a pill is to place it
under the tongue and take a drink
of water. This suggestion would
have no value in Kentucky, where
they never drink water.
It is said that red cheeks can be
produced by rubbing the cheeks
with ice. 1t has long been known
that red noses could be produced
by rubbing the lips with glass.
More people die in one year from
trichinosis than in etweuty years
from hydrophobia. Yet the owners
of hogs pay no tax, buy no muzzles,
and have no hogs shot down.
A Louisville preacher, who has no
late night work away from home,
calls for tax of 500 on pistols
A better scheme would be to raise
the price of whisky to 500 drink.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton declares
that the christian religion hasn't
benefited woman to any considera-
bic extent. It has given her a place
in which 10 display her millinery,
however.
A down east fire company, in
resolution on a deceased member,
says: He has responded to his
last alarm" 1t is a wonder they
didn't say that "he has gone to his
last fire.
An exchange says that married
life, should be a sweet, harmonious
song. like zone of Mendlessohn's !
without words.'" But wives are
not chosen from deaf and dumb ssy-
lums always.
There are thirteen widows living
on one street about three hundred |
yards long in Brooklin. The city |
authorizes propose to put at each |
end of the street sign, Dangerous
Passing"
"He died willingly, in the hope of
salvation" You may think this re-
fers to clergyman who has served
God for half q century, but 1T does
not. 1t refers to murderer who
chopped his wife up.
"Dar amt nuthin' more deceibin'
den sound,'' says plantation phi
losopher. "Dar ain nuthin more
pityful den de cry of de wild cat,
but, oh Lawd, what er mouf an
claws dat variant hab gotf''
During a recent cyclone In the
west, ga church was lifted to a
height Of thirty feet" The mem
bers of the congregation were deep
ly chagrined when they saw their
edifice became high church 30
suddenly.
"My dear SIR" said a clergical
looking gentleman to the passenger
IN the seat ahead, "have you found
graceT' Grace" repeated the
passenger, enthusiastically; ''don't
ask a man who has seen Evangeline
three times in one week if he has
found grace"
He-Have you read the new nov
ell, True Hearts," Miss Smith?
She-Oh. yes; was very much In
terested in it. He-It has a power
full opening, think. Shell didn't
read the opening, but it has love-
ly ending.
When word was brought to
mother thai her son Henry had
been killed out west, she said: 81
don't believe it, for just got let
ter from Henry the other day, and
be didn't say a word about it,"
In a New York banks Texas
visitor Il reckon, stranger, you do
a right smart business? Banker
(promptly)-My dear sir, you have
no idea how extended our business
relations are. At the present
time we have three cashiers in Can
ada.
A small schoolboy says til at he is
not going to learn any more geogra-
ply lessons until the world is fully
He read in q paper
that the geography Of over half the
globe would be changed by future
and he is going to
wait.