The Washington critic., 1886-04-29
GENERAL AND URIrICULAR.

Mr.. Peters Of Kansas made an important
point In his river speech In the House,
namely, to wit: That "the water was there"
The leading objection to most of the rivers
calling for appropriations is that they are
lacking in that important essential to
rivers thus signally pointed out by Mr..
Peters. Mr.. Peters, will you take drink
Ore Of the rivers now opening its mouth
In Congress for an appropriation has to
hSye sprnkling cart run up and down it
all summer IN order to lay the dust in its
bed.
If all the rivers asking appropriations
got what they ask, river banks would be
greater institutions than national banks.
On river improvement question Con-
gressman's spout may not be as wet as a
water spout bat 1t is mmeasurably more
voluminous.
The only kind OF legislation which will
reach the labor difficulties is the hire law.
Mr.. Beach of New York delivered an ad-
dress in the House yesterday in favor of
improving the Yellowstone River. 1t was
floral tribute, as it were, to that stream,
but 1t was unfortunately nipt + the bud.
In the beautiful distance golden stream
flows,
With It's shimmerng sheen all a-shiver
There's lnjuns and grizzlies and wild buff
faloes
On the beach Of the Yellowstone River.
There the innocent snagroot asleep in the
In the freshets will kick Off its ktver,
Aud rising in bed will menacing stand
On the beach of the Yellowstone River.
There the dreams of the blessed in glory
shall shine,
And the sunlight shall touch with quiver
The dollars and dollars they hope to COM
bine
On the beach of the Yellowstone River.
"lIel.fer-Sartin" is still flowing through
Congress. Dam 1t.
Mr.. Jones OF Alabama said in the House
| yesterday that the Missouri River is sri
| genois, and If Mr.. Jones can prove his
| charges 1t is going hard with the Big
| Muddy. We demand an investigation at
| once In the name Of the taxpayers of this
| great and broad and free Republic.
Senator Frye boiled over yesterday and
wanted to roast Senator Beck in an argu-
ment but the Kentuckan was cool and
airy about it, and harmony prevailed.
Let us soap Greece will not over-ruu
Europe.
Isn't Senator Ingalls, about the last man
to object to the publication Of anything
"yulgar, profane, obscene and indecent In
the RecordP If the Senator is on that line
he might, with propriety, have objected to
the publication Of recent speech Of Sena-
tor Ingalls,.
| Last night at the Temple
They spread the hurrah
For Erin Go Unum,
And L Pluribus Bragh!
Hon. jeff Davis speech at Montgomery
Ala, will furnish the bloody shirt organs
with texts enough to last all summer ant
enliven what might otherwise have been
very dessicated and monotonous season.
A young man had been arrested for kiss
ing pretty girl and she was on the witness
stand.
"You say" said the attorney for the de-
fense, "that the young man kissed you
against your will2'
"Yes, he did; and he did 1t dozen times
too"
"Well, now, is It not true that you alst
kissed him during the affray?'
Objected to- objection overruled.
snow answer my question:" continue,
the attorney. "Did YOU not kiss the de
fendant alsoY'
"Yes, / did, replied the witness, In
dignantly, "but 1t was in self-defense."
Case dismissed.
The man who hos thousand friends,
Has not friend to spare;
But he who has one enemy,
VIII meet him everywhere.
-[Emerson.