Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-03-18
INVENTIVE CRANKS.
4 Patent Lawyer TeiIs of Some Funny EN
perienCe> with His Clients.

perienCe~ with His Clients.
DO | run across many cTank-"" said Il
well-knuwn patent LAWYER yesterday after
noon. in answer tu a reporters question:
We'll. Young man. all crauk- are not I'M
yentOrS. and possibly all inventors are not
cramk>. but 4 good many ut them arr badly
hit Now. there i a German who lives on
the SOuthSide. one of the most Intelligent
men | ever met with no sign of rraukiue~~
about him except one thing lie wants IL
patent Il process for making gold. For
over a veal he has been dropping into my
office and trying Ia get me to get his paDtrs
for him. An right, I'll say, Explain ME
your process and I'll make ont Your appli-
cation
oh, no. he SAYS. no one shall ever
know that but myself. They will never
know that in the patent office even And
he will go away. have asked him why he.
didn't make some gold himself. OH no
he always replies, the secret i too NJlua-
bic. dare not until i get it prntrctrd
and that is all he will tell me. Omc ul the
great pecuiaritie> Of inventors j. thcir ~u~-
piciUuS natures. Whether | look like a ra~-
cal or not can't say positively. bUt about
half the people who come Ia me seem tu
think that am. They seem to carry the
idea that sit up here like Il spider in 4 web.
just waiting To steal some ones idea and
patent it.
HE HAD \ ~CUFMT.
About week ago a tall. thiu-faced
young man craned his neck in through the
door and looked all around the room To see.
if | was alone. Then he walked over
looked under the drawing table and behind
the safe. and tried the door /" the next
room. He was evidently satisfied that
everything was safe, for he came az, to me
and almost whispered I've got something
that will make $4,000 Il month";"
You have?" said |.
Yes. Do YOU want to take an interest
in it?"
No, said |. I never invest in patents.
but if You have a good thing you'll have no
trouble in getting capital. What have you
gut?"
Again he leaked furiuusly around the
room. and then pulled out an envelope.
Along the crease. where the Hay turns over,
hh had pasted a string, the ends OF which
stuck out about an eighth of an inch after
the envelope was sealed. The purpose was
to take hold of one end of the string when
you wanted to open Il letter. and by pulling
it, open the envelope in the same way that
it would be- opened 10y a knife. The scheme
Is a. old aS the patent Office, and in one
ear there were l36 applications for q pat
tHt on the same thing
80 My friend. said |. do you really think
there Is SlO. 900 a month in this
- Oh Yes. he said. L have figured il
out. and it will only cost $50 4 month L.
make and sell $4,000 worth
But. said |. do you know that there
are AT least l, 900 models of this same plan
in the patent Office now
Its - lir,' said he, getting rN-
cited. and let me tell you Mister. FIN onto
Your little game | didn't have much con
tidence in you when came here, and I've
got less now. I'll telegraph to the cummi>- !
SiOner of patents before an hour. an Just !
shut of your getting ont any patent ga this. |
That's what I'll do and out he vent. and !
have seen nothing of him since. \ good |
many of them will bring model, here which !
won't work. hecauNe they don't want Ia |
show the whole plan. They want patent. |
but want t" keep their process secret.
woEKING OVER OLD IDEAS.
Its surprising how many applications
there are up on old Inventions. Here i |
gentleman came in a few days ago with a |
model of 4 glass tombstone which hr
wanted to patent. He was very much sur
pri>ed and creStfallrn when ! showed him
that there were a number of patents cover
ingS the whole business. Another man
came to me month or two ago with the
working model of rotary rhurn. upon
which he wanted patent.
See here said |, THAT looks very
much like a machine patented about SiN
years ago. aS a washing machine.
"'Oh. YES. he replied 1T was patented
As a washing machine, but want Ia patent
it a. a churn and then put it ou sale "ut
among the farmers Ia De- u,cd for burh
iUn't you ste
We'll, said |. You'd better take that
nome and remodel ii 81 that it can be used
ts child'S crib also, and then patent it, Id
uSt aS soon have my butter made in a crib
L. 4 wash tub, and there is no more reason
Why the baby shouldn't br put to sleep in
hurn than there is That the family linen :
hOuldnt be washed in it, | didn't take .
md can't say whether hr = It his patent or I
lot" |
Regular reception committees Oi well I