The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1886-12-23
4~.-e EATON. oHIo THURsDAE DECEMBER %, 1856
EMBARRASSED PEOPLE.

EMBARRASSED PEOPLE.
A Man Meets Hs Newly Divorced Wife |
and Newly-Mads Husband.
He came to me in the car as we were
jogging along over the Erie. and with
out any preliminary palaver about the
weather or the crops OF the Bulgar an |
question, he asked:
'Do you see that couple on the
rightP"
Yes"
"Purty good-looking woman"
'.Sle is that
"Got ON some nice togsp"
eyes
sWhat do you think of the mane"
"Oh. he seems to be sensible sort OF
a man--probably villager or farm
err
Eyes; he lives back here in SIN II
town, and he's purity good fellow"
'.Then you know m?'
SWELL. kinder. Say, I'm in sort Of
box and want little advice"
"WCIi!
"Well. that woman used to be my
wife. W. were divorced about a year
ago, and she's now MARI ed to him and
they are now on their bridal tower, or
TOO er, or whatever you call it. I'm
kinder embarrassed to know just what
policy to pursue. but you can see the
case from neutral 'andpo MT Now,
then, shall knock his head off. treat
II Il
wish ;. m much joyp"
"What were The grounds for d.
vorcep''
"We fit too much. wan ed to ba
boss and SO did she. She II ether boss
that chap or break his neck
do they know you are here?"
''Oh. yes. and 1 s'pose they are
! kinder embarrassed, too. 1t seems
/; case whore some proceedings ought to
be taken"
"a row won't help you any,"
''No. l s'pose not, but if l coul git
Mary mad you'd hear some of the big
/ gest sp tting and jawng which ever fell
! on mortal ears. Say, she's o. ened on
me at three o clock IN the afternoon and
kept it up until m m.dnIght w thou, stop
ping over three times for breath.
Such command of language you never
sawr'
..Silent contempt would be q wise
policy"
Not in this case. See how peart and
! proud she S IS up there! She does that
to brag over me. She wants to gve
me to und .rstand that l wasn't the only
husband she could get. If I treat 'em
with lent contempt how is she to find
! out that m now on nv way to marry
the w oder Be!den, who br ngs me a
humping big farm and 50, 0JO in cashP
l want Mary to know that. The day
she left me she sad l was too p;z IN
mean to marry the fat womani in de-
sh w, and l want her to know that I
was engaged to a staving-look ng wo-
man in less than six weeks. l think
I'll go over and have talk with 'cm.
well. don't ra s. any row."
''Oh. l shan unless the feller begins
to buster around"
He went up the aisle to the water
cooler, and l changed nv seat to the
one beh nd the couple. When the man
came ! ack he stopped in front of them
and held out his hand to the man and
said:
Hello! Jim; going down to New
York;"
YES" replied the other, as they
shook.
kind of a bridal too-er, ehP"
s'Yes."
"Got my old woman along. see?"
"Y-yesH' was the jerky reply.
s.Well, Mary" he said. as he turned
to her, $50 you've got another man,
eh?"
None o your business. Tom Lap
ham,
..Oh. it int! Same old Mary, 1 see!
That's just the chin-mus you used to
give me when l asked why dinner
WASH ready"
You shet up!"
That more of it! Seems almost as
if we were living together aga n, and
was doiging the broom-st.ck. 1 shall
be married Saturday."
"Humphr'
"Humph! Well. you bet it's humph!
She's four mes as good-looking as you
are, and has a big farm and So, 900 in
caSh!'
don't believe it!''
"Same old Mary! Sounds perfectly
natural to hear you call me dog.
goned liar. Well be down to New
York Sunday night, and mebbe will
| stop at tne SAME nOtel you 10.
.'No, you wont'r'
eyes. we W li!'
"You shan't!
1--WE shall!''
'.See here, Tom." sad the bridge
groom, who WIS red clear back to his
collar-button. ''please let up" Tnis i:
an embarrassing tuation for me
.'Yes. s'pose it is, m. and III dc
any thing to oblig,. Of course. you've
MARI ed my old secondhand wife, ant
, of course you ont want to be twirte6
, of it. l see the pint, jim, and I'm
DONE"
Mary got up with both fists doubled
up and her fighting jaw on. but the
br degroom quieted her. and the di
: vorced husband SAID to me as we walked
to the rear of the Car:
. "Yes, it's kinder embarrassing t.
} Jim, and do It want to hurt his feel
ngs. Kinder embarrassing to me, too
and for Mary. and l guess we'd bette
3 have game of euchre. First tine
:. ever had vorced W fe. or met he
1 married to another man. and l didn'
exactly know how to take it. Mucl
: obliged for your ndne>s, and I orde
: the ace of srades up."-M. Quad, s,
Detrvit Free Press.
What The Kid Feared