The Washington critic., 1886-10-08
GENERAL AND oRIrICULAR.

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Dear Grover; I've felt for some time that |
Return to your keeping the prominent
trust
With which was honorcd, when young to
the throne,
You placed in my holding this gift from
your own.
The causes which force me- dear friend, to
resign,
Are not OF your making, but wholly OF
And pertain in no way to matters OF state,
But to moral economy entirely relate.
| am, MS you know, warrior by birth,
And have a desire to conquer the earth;
| To dabble my elegant fingers and toes
In the warm crimson tide that spurts from
my foes;
In carnage and gore in sword, torch and
fight,
My soul can but find its supremest de-
light.
This Office | hold is but warlke in name,
And | feel every day sense OF my
shame
BY doing so much in preserving the peace
When all OF our war dogs | want to re-
lease.
hoped for an instant on Mexico's fate,
Then hope came again with that question
dead,
There's no opportunity to paint the world
red;
SO, Grover III quit. Please send me my
check.
with Regards, Ever Yours, Colonel Endi-
cott Sec.
Mr.. Michael schwab, Chicago Anarchist,
said in his speech yesterday: al am con-
demued to die for writing newspaper
editorials 1t is we'll His suffering
subscribers are avenged.
Anarchist Spies, in his Aftcr-sentence
speech said: "There is Socrates, there Is
Gallileo, there Is Glurdano Bruno, there Is
Christ" Nobody doubts they are there,
hut what has that got to do with the
casey
This one comes from n Baltimore business
man; If all tesh is grass Philadelphia has
meat pavements.
All candidates are under trclt-y obliga-
| tions.
Henry Wat,crson is coming home on tho
steamer Champagne. Turn about Is fair
play. Henry usually carries the cham
pagnc.
Secession and State rights bid fair to be-
come an issue among the Knights Of
Labor.
Talmage says "it is about time for God
| to rise.n What for? He is already SO
high that the majority ofpeople find 1t In
convenient TO follow.
An able journalist in the Row, who sits
up of nights wrestling with puns and
| things, contributes the following:
The President was walking up and down
the library this morning, with slow and
measured tread, his body straight, but
bowed his head, when Daniel entered to
report for duty. Pausing In front OF his
desk, he said, with unusual gravity:
"Danel, the Secretary of War should
have been sent to capture the Apaches 1t
is the great mistake of my life. II, in the
end, he caught Geronimo, this bother
about the terms Of surrender would have
never occurred.n
"The intent of your remark is very
clear" said Lamont, as he silently re.
peated the War Secretary's name several
| times.
"And, Daniel, he tells me the males of
that awful tribe can travel 100 miles q day
without food or pay. Think Of it, Daniel,
when you come to me for extra wages.
What saving that would be In the ex-
penses of the p. o. d. IL all the postal
clerks were like these fast male Indians.
| The =. NJ. G.. could have done better than
their capturer did in making terms for their
future life. He might have agreed to put
them in our postal service, and, Daniel,
that would have been some gain, for you
know that accidents sometimes happen on
the rail- even unto death. All, met am
indeed vile ass not to have thought OF
sending him out to Arizona"
"You speak with some severity of your
self" said Dan in humble tones. "ThC
Secretary of State says it was by odd lucE
only that they did not again escape into
Mexico and make you grievous trouble with
that country"
"What is that he says9" exclaimed the
President, erecting himself to tiptot
height. "Does he Ia the second year of my
first term begin to talk about Bayard
luckS I'll none of IT," he sharply said.
"Pardon me, sire. He did not refer to
himself" and Daniel bowed profoundly in
the presence of his towering anger.
"Oh what relief" he cried out, "to
hear you say that. How it startled my 'ss
aspirations. ! see you were merely playing
upon his name. Daniel, never dare do that
again. Remember, am the sole owner OF
the Administration horseshoe
The soul of Lamont was in purgation
until the President broke the silence.
"What is this hear about your being the
power In my right hand; this shaking up OF
my Cabinet; that In manning the navy
made great mistake, and ought to have
first assigned the Secretary of the Treasury
to that duty. These reports excite distrust
create suspicion and detract from your merit
as my confidential clerk. Daniel, listen to
me. am not father, but will talk to you
like one that Is not without hope; mean oi
course in you. | would not give one whit
nay,not one farthing, to have the resignation
of my Secretary of the Navy now in hand
| do not want it, but, Daniel, you can't have
it. You must not presume too much.
know you outrank me in married expe
rience, but, Daniel, | am the President
Read what Lamartine says about keeping
your interior free from other peoples bust
ness. 1t is good advice. Now 20 to your
desk.n
And he went, wondering what would have