davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-11-25
HUMOROUS.

The latest pronunciation of matri.
mony is 'matter O money"
The cucumber is an Odd-Fellow.
Try him and see whether he can't give
you the grip. Buffalo Courier.
"A Michigander has grown sun
flower four feet in circumference.
Garry the news to Oscar. He will grow
Wilde over it.
An observant writer says that few
men know what to do with their
hands. They should offer them to
some nice girl.-M Y Ledger.
--"Culchaw!''-A provincial lady OF
culture was lately heard to remark;
al ain much of agrammarist, but I'm
pretty good 'rithameticker."
Many young man who has been
too bashful to propose to girl has had
her father come into the parlor at
eleven o'clock and help him out.
-Mulcahey ION seeing base VOL
for the first time) -"Be Heavins! The
mon that plays that fiddle must be
moighty long-armed. h---Ranabter.
"A witness in case in New
Orleans court the other day, being ex-
hausted, asked for glass of water,
whereupon the Judge turned 10 the
cross-eXamining counsel and said,
blandly; Don't you think you'd bet
ter let this witness 60, seeing that you
have pumped him dry?"
The child who makes the acquaint-
ance of the maternal slipper may have
the satisfaction of knowing that its
mother once underwent the same OPP
Grafton at the hands of its grand
mother. This is one of the reasons
why children are so fond of their grand
parents. -NeW Hduen NescS.
-"Oh, Miss Brown, who was that
homely young lady you were with this
afternoon?" "That, sirp That was
my sister" "Oh-ah-I beg ten thou-
sand pardons fought to have noticed
the great resemblance! That is--that
is" Then he wished an earthquake
would happen right then and there.
Poetry and Truth. Spindler
(quoting)-'With half my appetite.
good dame, my leather doublet would
be a feast indeedr' Servant-"rm
glad you feel that way, sir, for Missus
wanted me to tell you that she's lost
the mallet and the steak amt been
pounded quite so much as common. u
-Tid-Bits.
He (referring to painting)-
Don't you think the introduction Of
one or two birds would give you lit.
tie more life, Miss Bessie?n She Gre.
ferring to lunch) -"How thoughtful Of
you, Mr. Short, and how delicately
you put the invitationm (and he bad
to run her over to the nearest hotel
and order broiled quail for two.)-Er
shdnge.
"A small boy in a bright family
wanted something of his mother the
other day when she was very bus,
writing. She was absorbed in hel
work, and did not look up at his re
peated Mamma, mammam besid,
her elbow. Well said he at last
fiinging away from her side in pet
"lt's no use to try to make my mamms
bear when she is writing; she is just ig
nominious of every thing!"-Chicag'
Ledger.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-11-25
"AH-Gooi.


vot yas i'd mine baby vas trying to say,
Ven goes to hces crib at der preak OF der
day?
Und oudt vrom der blanket peeps ten leedle
toes.
So pink und SO shveet as der fresh ploom-
ing rose.
Und twisting und curling themselves all
aboudt,
shust like obey vas saying: "ge want to get
oudtl"
Und don'd could say nodings: shust only:
"Ah-Goo!"
vot vas i'd mine baby was blinking aboudt,
When dot thumb goes SO quick in his shveet
leedle mout,
Und he looks right away like he no under
shtandt
Der reason be don'd could quite Swallow
hees handt;
hecs eyes,
Which nlls bees oldt fader init fear und sur.
brise;
Und when NIT dhose shimnasdic bricks he
vas droo,
He lay back aud crow, and say nix budt
"Ah-Goo!"
vot makes dot shmall baby shmIle, When
he's ashleep;
Docs he dInk he vas blaying init some vor
'DO-peep!
Der nurse say dhose shmiles vas der sign be
haf collie
More like dot he dhreams he vas hating
some frolic;
feeds dot oldt nurse init Green abbles
some day,
Und dhen eef she shmiles, pellet vot She
say:
When dot baby got cramps he find somedlnp
to do
Except shmile, and blay, und keep our
hees
"Ah-Goo?"
Task me, sometimes, yhen ! looks in do
crib:
avn der shirdt-front Won day, dako del
blaze off dot bbl
VIII dot plue-eyed baby, dots pooling min,
hair,
Know all vot knows aboudt drouble unt
carer
Dhen dink off der vorldt, NIT its pride unc
its sins,
Und wish dot mineself und dot baby va
twins,
Und all der day long hat nodings TO do
Budt shust laugh and crow, und keep say
ing:
"Ah-Gool"
Charles F0Ilen Adams, in Youths Companion
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-11-25
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.


There are sixty art schools and
eleven thousand art students in the State
Of Massachusetts,
The First Colored Baptist Church
Of Nashville, Tenn, has $4,000
house and membership of 3, 100.
The Wittenberg Synod at its recent
meeting in Springfield, o., passed reso-
lutions favoring scientific temperance
instruction in the public schools and col
leges of the State. = Cleretand Leader.
Rev. Robert Cushman preached
the first sermon in Neg England. 1t
was delivered at New Plymouth, De-
cember II, 1921, and was "On the Sin
and Danger of Self Love-" 1t was
printed in London, and is believed to
be the Oldest sermon extant preached
in America. Boston Budget
Rev. DR.. Deems, of this city, thinks
that one reason why so many minis
tiers break down early in their work is
because they are constant Sabbath
breakers. The earnest clergymen new
er let's up from Monday morning until
Sunday night, while the laws of nature
demand a seventh-day rest.-M !.
Sun.
The well-known oculist, Dr. Her
mann Coin, of Breslau, objects strong
ly to the slate ordinarily used by school
children, and proposes the use of white
stone slabs. Dr. Stefan. in a recent
number of the MonatSschritt fur Augen-
heilkunde, shares DR.. COINS objections
to the slate, but recommends white
enameled timed iron as the best ma
terial for writing tablets.
An Indianapolis editor thinks that
there ought to be an attractive summer
resort to which clergymen of all de-
nominations should particularly be
drawn, just as there is Saratoga for
sporting men and Newport for ultra
fashionables. They would gain much
from the opportunities that would be
offered in such careless assemblage
for brushing against one another and
exchanging courtesies and ideas.
New Catholic parochial schools in
the United States have been opened
during the past summer at the rate OF
ten or fifteen weekly, and it is pre-
dicted that before the close of this de-
cade the number of Catholic schools in
this country will be doubled. AT pres
ent the most moderate estimate gives
100000 pupils attending the Catholic
parochial schools, with 100000 more
in the higher institutions = Chicago
Journal
Thirteen missionaries left Boston
the other day for foreign lands,
Among them were seven young
women, four of whom Miss Maggie
S. Webb, Miss Grace Greenough and
the Misses Marion Z. Sheldon and Julia
Bissell-go to take positions in the
seminaries of. Brouse, Adabazar, AID
ana and Martin, in Turkey, anc
Ahmednagar, in India. The Others &C
to Central Turkey, Japan and India
Boston Journal.
Brooklyn is growing famous fol
its long pastorates. Rev. DIR. X. 5
Storrs has been pastor of the Congre
gational Church of the Pilgrims since
it was founded forty years ago. Rev
H. Ward Beecher has been with hi
people thirty-nine years. Rev. DR.
Samuel M. Haskins, rector of st
Marks Episcopal Church, began hi
ministry with his present charge forty
seven years ago, while Rev. Sylveste
Malone. of the Roman Catholic Churcl
of SITS. Peter and Paul, has served II
his present charge over forty years. :
Christian at Work.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-11-25
SAVANNAH, TENNESSEE THURSDAY NOVEMBER Is, 1886.

moving his coat before bidding him
welcome. The superfiuous phrase
probably had its origin in the days
when gloves were clumsy, and used
more for protection than as an essen
tial to dress. Then the naked hand was
thought to be an evidence of good will
and cordially. Since gloves have been
universally adopted, the idea OF asking
pardon for wearing them is an
anchronism as well as an improperly.
Gloves are now made to fit exactly, so
that, were il courtesy to take them off
on encountering ones friends and &C
quaintances, an amount of time and
trouble would be required which would
inevitably render social greeting at
once comical exhibition and bore.
ID. C. NJ, IN Brooklyn Eagle.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-11-25
A Considerate Flirt.

Hostetter McGinnis is a male firt.
He was taken to task by Gilhooly. who
said, reproachfully:
You have been counting all four OF
those Longcofin girls all summer, why
don t you marry one Of them?"
"rd do it. Gilhooly. but / don't
want to do any thing TO forfeit the es-
TEEN of the other three. TEXAS sifl-
tRgs
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1886-11-25
How to Speak the Truth.

1t is all-important that you speak the
truth when you do speak; but the fact
that it is the truth which you speak is
not the only important factor in your
speaking. You must speak the truth
in love, in love of the truth, and in
love of the person to whom you speak;
for unless you are loving, and speak
lovingly. you may have less power for
good than any one who speaks in that
spirit without speaking the truth. The
truth itself suffers in contrast with love-
mixed error, when the element of love
is lacking in the declaration of truth.
IS. S. Times.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
Wilmington Commercial collegs.

The new Wilmington Commercial College
will open in Ins titute Building, Eighth and
Market streets, September LIST. The principal
(late Of Bryant and Stratton's, Philadelphia)
will be at the C&llege tally after August Is
to explain the workings of the institution tc
all interested in PRAcTICAL EDUCATION and
to register students. The course of study
embraces Bookkeeping, Business forms and
customs, Business Practice, Correspondence
Penmanship, Commercial Law, Business Etht
les, Commercial Arithmetic, Rapid Calcula
tions, and Practical Spelling Special Short.
hand and Penmanship Departments. In the
BUSINESS PRACTICE DEPARTMENT students
will have actual transactions with each Other
and regular correspondence with similar
schools in distant cities. Both sexes admit.
ted. Call or write for circular.
II. S. GoLDEY, Principal.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

been forced from these faults to .relinquish
the undertaking and return to more favoy-
able climate.
Agricultural laborers get 10 cents a day,
with II pounds of corn. Everything to eat
seems extortionate as to cost in Mexico
"The average rate of the Mexican tariff is
probably greater than that adopted at present
by any other civilized country" A few cot
ton and paper mills enjoy Mexican protec-
tion, and a miserably poor population pay
twice and thrice more for bad fabric than
it is worth.
Taxation in Mexico is absurd. Each State
has its own custom House.
You may pay the national tax on landing
at Vera Cruz, but where there are 20 States
between the seaport and the capital each State
would want something for passing its bound
aries. A stove with pipe, for which s31. SO
was paid in st. Louis, ,ost with freight, tar.
ifs, &C., $107 rs when landed in Mexico, and
then twc-thirds of the consular fee was re-
mitted, otherwise that stove would have been
worth SIT so IN the city of Mexico. Hams
bought for II cents a pound in Chicago cos,
81 cents in Mexico. Nails costing 2s cent.
in New York are worth in money paid oul
on them IA 16.100 cents ponnd in Mexico,
and salt costing a dollar in the United States
was worth $40, 81 in Mexico. 1t must ther
happen, as Mr.. Foster says, 'that articles Of
the most common use in the United States
must be luxures in Mexico on account OF
the high price,"
A tax (interna) is imposed on sales, on
| invoices, railroad tickets and theatre tickets
ga cigar sold singiy must be delivered In
a stamped wrapper" A mercantile draft
pays 81 on every 800. Every animal chang.
ing hands, even to pig, has a tax, as do loads
of corn, fruit, and vegetables. A miller
pays 32 taxes before he delivers his meal, and
"no fandango, christening, marriage, OF
funeral escapes the payment of tribute"
And this is the miserable country that
citizen Cutting would have the United States
| go TO war with, and that the New York army
of avengers aided by the stout armies of Tex
an border ruffians would have us annex
We had much better leave it alone to its
misery as there is no demand that we take
any share in its large national debt or the
onerous burthen of civilizing its millions O
poverty-stricken ignorant citizens.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
A Literary Conn Dsetaf.

Of all the surprises to which the reading
public has been treated by Mr.. Aldeu's sur
prising Literary ReUelution, perhaps the most
remarkable is the last.
Two OF the choicest and most famous
books in modern literature, WASHINGTON
IRvING's ''The Ske' ch Book" and "Knick-
erbocker's History of New York" are just
published in style worthy of this most wide
ly celebrated and universally honored of
American authors. Tho two books together
form ONE of the NINE volumes of his
works also just published. The type is large
loaded, beautiful the two volumes bound in
one comprise COG pages the binding is
HALF MOROCCO, marbled aedges. The
only other edition in the market that at all
compares with this or rivals it, is advertised
by the publisher at $500 per volume.
Mr.. Alden's price when sold in sets of nine
volumes, is a little less than s1OO per vol
nme. He now offers this single specimen
volume UNTIL SEPTEMBER /, 1886, for
the price (if itcan be called a price, of so
cents, by mail, postage paid,
This offer is WITHOUT RESTRICTION
OR CONDITION; if there are a hundred
thousand, or half million of those who take
pleasure in the works of WASHINGTON Inv
ING, who want the volume, he says he will
fill their orders as fast as his printers and
binders can turn them out.
If you want to complete your set after you
have received this volume, you can, Of course
do so by paying the additional price for the
set. THE OBJECT of this extraordinary
"Coup D'Etat" il of course, advertising
except for this consideration the price would
be ridiculous aud ruinous. Mr. Alden sends
his complete Condensed Catalogue of stand
ard books free to any applicant, or his Illus
trated Catalogue, 1872 pages, for four cents.
Address, JOHN B. ALDEN, Publisher, 393
Pearl Street, New York.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

Contiguous Russian territory is fully map
ped out and, it is said, is in the hands Of
German engineers.
The triple alliance OF the three emperors Of
Austria, Russia and Germany is looked up
on just now as so much waste paper.
Should war of the nature referred to
break out other countries would take sides,
probably as follows. France would join
Russia Immediately and attack Germany, in
order to regain the provinces of Alsace ant
Lorraine. Austria and England would com
bine for the vindication of individual inter
ests in the Balkan peninsula against Rus
sia, and with them Turkey would naturally
fall in, in order to regain her stolen territory
in Armenia and the Southern Caucasus.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
One Thousand Years Old.

Kipon a small city of Yorkshire, England
noted only as the cathedral city of the an
cient episcopal diocese of Ripon has been
celebrating this past week its thousandth
anniversary.
1t is most unique historical record as
may be easily imagined, but not peculiarly
so for the country where it is located. Pro-
badly there are score or more of other cit
les in England that are equally antique.
Such are Lancaster, Chester, York, Lon
don, Chelmsford sc.
In reference to the celebration the New
York Herald says :-"Among the sports se-
lected for the occasion was the performance
of an open air play founded on the ballad of
the famous encounter between "Robin Hood
and ye Curtall Fryer" on the traditional
spot OF their contest
There were also torchlight procession of
trade guilds, the reproduction of ancient
ceremonies, tournament and grand ''his-
torical pageant" The Archbishop OF York
preached sermon in the Cathedral, the
Marquis of Ripon threw open to the public
the picturesque grounds and ruins of Foun-
tains Abbey, where, indeed, the open air
play and 'old English revels" were announ-
ced to take place, and such season of pas
time in honor of antiquity has not been
known since the Iceland milennial in 1874.
If the Ripon municipal records exist, even
reaching back two centuries, what interest
ing cohtemporaneous' reading matter they
contain England at this time was passing
through the throes of the protestant Sue
cession" agitation which eventuated in the
firm establishment of William of Orange
upon the English throne.
Probably an important municipal test
for citizen ambitioning aldermanic honors
in ancient Rpon was whether certain can.
didate had Jacobite or loyal bias. In many
Of the outlying burghs il the provinces
James II had firm supporters and William
''of glorious memory" was looked upon as
a usurper.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
Grand opera Opening.

Manager Baylis will have completed the
renovations at the Grand House by Monday,
September 18th, when Professor Bristol's
eques' curriculum will be introduced
stud of twenty superb horses, will viye
performances every evening during the week
and matinees. No lover Of holses can fl .rd
to miss these performances. A most aston
ishing and wonderful exhibition, and the
only one of superior excel lence in tile world
The entire troupe of horses appearing at one
time on the stage without bride or rein, in
most delightful two and a quarter hours
entertainment.
The improvements will be a source of
great qualification to the numerous patrons
of WilmiDgton's standard amusement resort.
The renovations cover an expenditure of
several thousand dollars, an advantageous
Encouragement of the stage proscenium and
boxes, also an entire reconstruction of the
flooring of the auditorium by which every
chair will afford its occupant an unobstruct-
ed view CT the actors.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
Eclectic Magazine
Foreign Literary, Science, and Art
''rHE LITERATURE OF THE WORLD"
iSe6.-42d YEAR.

The Foreign Magazines embody the best
thoughts of the ablest writers o. Europe. II
is the aim of the ECLEcT c MAGAZINE to Sc.
lect aud reprint all the representative arti.
cles thus gwen to the void.
The plan Of the ECLECTIc includes "Sci-
ence," II say" Reviews" '.i}mgraphi-
cal, " "Sketches, 'IIistorical Papers" "A /
Criticism, Travels" Poetry aud Shnrt
Stores.'
Its Editorial Departments comprise Slit
erary Notices, dealing with current hone
books. Foreign Literary Notes." "Science
and Art, summarizing briefly the new dis
coveries and achievements in the field, and
consisting of choice extracts from new books
and foreign journals. The subjoined lists
exhibit the principal sources whence material
is drawn, and the names of some of the
leading authors whose articles may be
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
Ashes and Garbage.

1t is discovered that the reason WHY many
complaints made in regard to the non-re.
moval of ashes have not been attended to is
the fact that most of our citizens are misin.
formed as to which of the City Departments
has charge Of The business of removing ashes
and which that of removing garbage.
The Street Commissioner has sole charge
and responsibility with regard to the remoy.
al of ashes.
1t would possibly be waste of time there.
fore for any citizen to make complaint about
the non-removal of ashes to the Registrar Of
the Board of Health or to City Councilman,
Such complaints might, through the cour.
tesy of public officials, reach Commissioner
McCloskey. But the position Of dependence
upon Others for the good repute Of his De,
partment which he is placed in by the lack
of information among the citizens as tc
where to direct their complaints makes the
Commissioners position very often a most
unenviable one.
Complaints in regard to the non-removal
of garbage should be sent to the Registrar
of the Board of Health, Sixth and King
streets.
The Street Commissioners address is No.
81 East Sixth street.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
Ponds Extract, the most potent cura-
tive agent known for Pains, Aches and
Injuries let those who have never used
it inquire concerning its virtues.
New Store Houss.

Daniel Bickta, S. W. Cor. sth & Madison
Sts., is having new Store House and stable
erected, to replace the frame structure,
which was destroyed by fire about ten days
ago. This building will be 25 feet front, by
80 feet deep, with 13 inch brick walls, two
storys in high, with cellar under entire build.
ing; five piers through the centre, bearing
heavy girders with yellow pine joists and
flooring. Contract awarded to Charles w.
Gooding, the Grocer, N. W. Cor, Sth and
Madison Streets.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
The Magazines.

"Genius aud Precocity" in tho Library
Magazine for September is most remarkable,
revelation Of that interesting psychical c1nd :
tion in the prominent men Of the last two
centuries. We are almost tempted to d3abt
the wonderful tales that are told. But tie
authority is of the best, and carefully aud
reliably given by James Sully Articles on
Ireland and India severally by Justin
Mccarthy and Alfred II. Guernsey should
be read by all readers. "Who wrote Dick
ems" is an excellent rebuke dshed up in ssr.
casm for the loose-minded Baconian-Shake-
speares aud those of that ik. The current
number is literally a library magazine. We
could not do without ID.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
Tho Arabian SteedH,

The N. Y. World says "Truely an amar-
ing exhibition of Equine Intelligence. Beauti-
full creatures that do everything but speak. :"
The Neos says "No one with vision and
soul can fail to find keen delight in the
marvellous performance of these Wonderful
Animals" A sentiment echoed by the Her
aid, Tribune, Times Graphic, Post, Erprsm
Telegraph, etc.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

Mr. Chas F. Powell, postmaster, Terre
Haute, o., writes that two ofhis very finest
chickens were recently affected with roup.
He saturated piece of bread half an inch
square with st. Jacobs Oil and fed it to
them. Next day he examined them and
there was no trace OF the disease remaining.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

Mr. E. X. Wilson, Grand Rapids, Mich,
reports the case of Mr.. II. T. Sheldon, of
Lansing, Mich, who for several weeks suff-
cred from frigbtful cough and cold, which
was cured by one bottle of Red Star C ugh
Cure.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

Plain white translucent China tea sets,
very thin, square tea pot, sugar and cream,
open handle cake plates and low shape cups.
Quality much better than the Bohemian OIL
Carlsbad China, aud fully as pretty as the
French A p'eces $3.50 SO pieces, $3.50.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

Butter, butter, nice and fair how wonder
what you are, are you really what you sesm?
We're you made Of grease or cream?
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04

TermS..-single copies, 45 cents; one
copy, one year, IS five copies, 81. Trial
SUBSCRIPTION for three months, 81. The
Eclectic and any "a magazine, IS. Pos.
tsge free.
F, R. PELTON, Publisher,
81 Bond street, New yors,.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
CHINA & CLASS.
|. LEWIS ROW,
China, GLASS,

A few 10 piece chamber sets, wide color
baud and gold lines, So 90 per set. There is
only limited number Of these sets and this
price cannot be guaranteed for the future.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
STEEL ENGRAVING cS.

INV = ECI0CtIC cOmplFes each year two
large volumes of over 100 pages. Each OF
these volumes contains fine steel engraving.
which adds much TO the attraction of the
magazine.
The Wilmingtonian., 1886-09-04
expected to appear
Authors.

ne aim Of the EcIe cite is to be inaructire
ana not sf"sattondt, and i eOmmends itself
particularly 70 al intelligent and Moughtril
readers mho desire instruction as rel as enfsr
I1jDgnltg ~