Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-04-15
BRIGHT BITS.

The "Oblate Sisters Of Providence" are in
trouOe IN Baltimore. They VIII probably be
helped out by the Ovoid Brothers and the
khomboid Fathers.-Puck.
OVERHEARD in an ail-night restaurant:
FIRST cabman-Got any Doodle, Jimmy?
Second dittO--Y "a a. s; got 4 twenty.
F. G. (surprlsed) MAN dead!
). D.-Naw: had fit Washington Critic.
YESTERDAY was beautiful April day, fun
OF the gracious breath and balmy softness of
THIS model month. The birds sang sweetly
IN the avlarles AMI the barber shops. The
no~ers budded shYly in the conservatories.
me snoWdrOp was particularly luXuriant.
On such day one can almost hear the grass
groWlngln the streets of Philadelphia. April
is great month.-Nel1 York Sun.
CoLDcAsH-"what do you charge for en-
balming?n
Undertaker-''Fifty dollars, and make the
late lamented look like bloomln' angel"
high?"
Undertaker-''Not for irst-class send-off.'
Coldcash-"W what discount would you
make for the deceased having wooden leg?'
-Chicd9O RGmbter.
sHE-Poor Brown! He always looks so
melancholy. I'm sure there is a sad chapter
in his pest.
He-Haven't you heard? Why, the poor
fellow ia the victim Of a love affair.
Shells he? How dehclously romantic!
Tell me all about 1t; did his sweetheart jilt
hnn?
Hell said victim; she married him.-Bing-
haDstoh ReDUJEican.
THE THIEF's CoMPLA1NT.-A Thief who had
been convicted by a Jury Of his Peers and
sentenced to ten years in Prison complained
to his Lawyer: If YOU had on V spoken half
an hour Longer / should have been cleared. ="
Alas? sir" replied the LAWYER, lone of
the Jurymen informed me that it was owing
TO what little dld say that Decided the Case
against YOU"
Moral: 1t wasn't Detroit jury.-Detroit
Free Press.
FIRST SPoRT-Has fight been fixed be-
tween sullivan and Smith?
Second Sport-Hes. two of ZEN. The first is
Tor YZO,01O and the cha mpiOnship Of the world.
bare knuckles, to finish. Tn second is with
soft gloves, six rounds. Two-thirds of the
gate money goes 10 he winner.
First SpOrt-W here is the first to he fought?
Second SpOrt-IR the newspapers.
First SpOrt-And the second?
Second specialization square Garden.
ONE of the most venerable OF the cd chest
nuts 10 the so named NAPOLEON chestnut tree
IN the garden Of the Tuileres. Regularly
IN leaf ON March 2O--the anniversary
Of Napoleon's return to Paris from
Elba But this year at latest ac-
counts It had not shown 90 much as a single
bud. Yet this should be encouraging as an
indication that the old chestnut will still
stand by the Paris paragraphist, since it
manifests no intention TO leaye.-Eechange.
LITTLE II AIRY, aged Z, is of an investigat-
ing disposition, as witness:
AUNT Virginia, were all people once ba-
biesF'
''Yes. dear"
'All men and women-my pa and ma and
me and YOU and Uncle Harry?"
Yes everybody.
"Well. what | want to know is, who took
care Of the first b9bies?"
This was . sumner. and Aunt Virginia he
ing unequal to the occasion, young Harry
dnally gave his mGtured opinion: well l
know; God took care of them .-Neo York
World.
THE last break IN wheat has ruined me -
said Chicago spectator, as he staggered into
the marble ma ace he called home.
And we must give up this houseP quered
his wife.
YES
"And move into cheap apartments; disap-
pear from our circle of society,""
"Crrtainly. Can you bear up under it-for
my sake2"
"Wrll ! won't nut IL that way. I'll try and
bear up because 1 want to retire somewhere
for two or three years and have my feet COM
pressed until | can wear No. s.. This offers
an opportunity. Bring on your tenement
house. p Wall Street Negcs.