davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25
and crushing sarcasm have SO often
turned the tables OH his opponents,
s'vou ram we'll in both cases.

and crushing sarcasm nave SO OiCen
turned the tables on his opponents,
ls:vou ram we'll in both cases"
GAS poor as Jobs turkey is an ex-
prsssion without application. Turkeys
were not known in those days, and Job
wasn't near as hard up as thousands OF
men have been since. Had he known
enough to use faxseed for his boils, he
would probably never have been heard
of.
The only way he could manage it.
''We bend theknee, but not the elbow, y
enthusiastically exclaimed an orator at
a temperance meeting the other even
ing. s;That's so,'' saidan unreclaimed
sinner on a back seat. ''It's the only way
you can get your mouth to the bung-
hole.'
"Mr. Porter, yon delivered my mes
sage?' Yes "With what result?''
HE knocked me down for my lmp'2-
dence." And what did you do?'' Il
put up with it, si2. 1T was in the line
of his profession, you know" Why,
nes no slugge,.' mo. he's Al auc-
tioneer.'
s;You have no idea of the hard work
there is in this business" said COM
mercial traveller to Scotch shopkeeper.
"It is either walking or talking from
morning tonight ':Well, ye hae gied
me guietl idea o. the talkin' part; moo
gie me ane O. the walkin'," said the
Scotchman.
Delinquent subscriber ito country
editor)- Why is your paper referred
to as ''patenJ inside??':
Editor, gloomily-It doesn't refer to
the paper, it refe1s to me.
Delinquent subscriber-You?
Editor--Yes. If hadn't a patent IN
side I'd starye to death.
lis there colored man around here
that can beat carpet?" asked citizen
Of whlte-washer at the market yesler-
day. s.I reckon dat pusson ober dar'
kin do it, sah.'; IFS he a professional?''
"Yes, sab. He's beat two groceries,,
three saloons an his wife, and | reckon
he can get away wild ca'pet."
He was nobby young man of blue
blood, and good financial backing, and
as he sat down in the car he pulled out
his handkerchief. An odor OF perfume
was waited through the car. and boy
sitting beside his mother suddenly
called out: 'sSay, ma. why can't we
buy onions which smell as nice as
that?"
A farmer sent dollar for lig htnlng
potato bug killer, which he saw adyer-
tised in Lew Green's paper, and re-
ceiyed by return mail two blocks OF
wood with directions printed as fol-
llows: s'Take this block, which IS NO.
| /, IN the right hand, place the bug on
No. Q and press them together. Re-
move the bug and proceed as before.
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25

Get the best unlauniried shirt iE the
city for SO cents at 0. T. Swett's, 228
Central avenue.
Mrs. +. e.. MacCarthy has all the lat
est novelties in millinery for fall and
winter wear. Please call on her at PA
Nicollet ayenue.
Priester, The Tailor, corner Washing
ton and Second avenue south, Mime
apolis. Merchant tailoring. Perfect
fits.
"A long struggle is predicted in the
Connellsville coke regions, the opera
tors becoming exasperated at repeated
and petty strikes.
The Chicago trades assembly showed
a conciliatory feeling Monday towards
the knights Of Labor. There will be
no clash of interests.
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25
iiSIANDARD" BREVITIESS.

The devil is q cobrler who is always
pegging away at souls.
The wind is blowing about some
thing, but there's nothing in it.
Strange as it may seem, when money
is close, it is difficult TO getvery near 1t.
Some Americans are too proud to beg
and too honest to steal, SO they get
trusted.
One thing can be said in favor Of the
ice man. If he has any left over, he
DOESN'T warm il up for breakfast,
Ticket Agent You don't expect
those two boys to so on one tlcket?''
She~-''Of course I do. It's q twin"
An Indiana girl has been born with
out q mouth. She will very soon begin
to realize that she has forgotten some
thing.
A Boston firm publishes a work en-
titled "a Girls Room" The average
Columbus girls room is two seats in
horse car.
Chill has a new ministry. II there
is anything new going, Chill is bound
80 have it. In fact, it'sa cold day when
Chill gets left.
"What we need in spiritua]ism," said
Colonel Nosebloom, of Kentucky, is
a medium who can materlallze spirits
from an empty barrel"
"a man said to me the other night"
remarked clergyman, L would not
have missed your sermon for fifty dol
lars and yet, when the plate was
passed around that man put in a
penny
The Chinese code of morality does
not say, Wives, obey your husbands
but "Wives, respect your husbands"
This. it will be seen, is very much
more difficult of compliance than the
first version.
Eyes, sir,'' said the entomogist, II
can tame flies so that when / whistle
they will come and alight ON my head" +"
.'Pshaw!' said the bald-headed man,
stthey come and alight on my head
without my whistling."
:'I've been Oh this road l0years," saiu
the conductor on southern railroad
to passenger who complained of the
slow time, ''an' [ know what I'm talk
ing about "Ten years, eh?" said the
passenger, 'What station did you get
on atp''
Some years ago, at the Derby, when
the grand prize was won by French
horse, the Frenchmen present cheered
vociferously, and in addition to the
other expressions Of triumph, one OF
them shouted, Waterloo avenged. :"
'.Yes,o, said Sir William Harcourt, who
!. was standing By, and whose ready Wit
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25
PROBATE NOTICE.

GTATE OF MINNESOTA. County of Henne-
- pin.-Probate Court.
In the matter OF the estate OF Edward Cum
nings, deceased.
On reading and filing the petition Of Pat,
Cummings has died intestase, a resident
and inhabitant Of the county Of He'll
nepin and State of Minnesota, leav-
ing goods, chattels and estate within
this county, and praying that administration of
his estate de bonis non be to himself granted.
1t is ordered, That said petition be heard at
special term OF this Court to be held at the
Court House in the City Of Minneapolis, in said
County, on Monday, the 17th day OF January,
1887, ut 10 O'clock in the forenoon; and that no
tice Of such hearing be given to all persons in
terested, by publishing this order at least once
i'll each week for three successive weeks prior
to said day Of hearing, in The Irish Standard q
newspaper printed and published in said
county.
Dated at Minneapolis, this 22d day of De.
cember, 1855.
By the Court: A.. UELAND,
WILLIAM KENNY. Judge of Probate.
Attorney for Petitioner.
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25
For a. Pure
Bottle of Rye go to Lally Bros,

Bargains in gloves and mittens at 228
Central avenue
|, Two old gossips met at the North
End Market: 'sYou know, [ always
get my moneys worth; SO when the
steak isn't good l go for the butcher. "
"And when it is good?" ''Oh! then I
go for the steak?"
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25
]. G.. t4anley Linn
(... ; .,z: - - 1T. ..zz = =, .'. *: - :. :,

Charevoiz says that this name came from all I1x,-
quois word, tKannata a collection Of tents.
There u.s. however Spanish tradition that some
Spanish explorers visiting the country and finding
mines or other appearance Of riches said "A
ca NADIA here is nothing), which: being repeated
by the natives to subsequent visitors from Europe
was supposed to be the name Of the country
8" Here is something's; that's what the . T K
it means to you it you want to clothe your
self your children beconningly and econo1ni-
cally the q K is the place to do it. We
still have very good assortment Of the ONE
THIRD OFF goods separate counters. Chill
dren's suits and oyercoats worth from IS TO sl2
ONE-THIRD OFF, only to three Of kind
Also big lot of boys overcoats from IL to II
THIRD OFF Most all new stock = J. K, cor
ner Nicollet avenue and Third street, Minneapolis.
The Irish standard., 1886-12-25

For Pure Wines and Liquors
For family use go to Lal]y Bros.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
HE SKIPPED.
a Washing-Nacii chine Agent Who Was Nc
Proof Against Dynamite.

"A washing-MachineA Agent Who Was Not
Proof Against Dynamite.
about four weeks ago. said farm
eT on the market the other day, Il
concluded to get rid of several old
stumps near the barn, and / came in
and purchased some giant cartridges.
Next day forenoon l went at the Job,
and had just got cartridge tamped
Down in the first stump when / saw a
man drive up to the house. That was
nothing to bother over, however. and
lighted the fuse and ran around the barn
to wait for the explosion. l had only
got in place when l heard a voice
calling:
"'Ah! there, Sharp! 1 want to sell
you the best washing-machine ever
made
ut was the chap who had driven up,
and nv wife had sent him out to hunt
me up He was within ten feet of the
stump when he called. l had two
minute fuse on the cartridge when
heard his voice, and called back.
For Heavens sake get out o that
"'Oh. I'll get out, after l have sold
you a machine. Sharp, where are you?'
'.Well. sir. you can have my ears if
that Internal idiot didn t walk up and rest
his elbow on the stump. and he was there
when she exploded. He took a rise of
six or eight feet, came down spread-eag gle
fashion,, and then scrambled up and
made for his wagon with slivers sticking
out all OYER him. When he went By
the house my wife asked him if the
machine saved ten per cent. in soap, but
he nG,,- answered or came to halt.
He just sailed over the forewheel to his
seat on the wagon, giving the horses :;
cut with the whip. and was a mile ava,
when | went out TO the road to inquire
If his machine was full-jeweled DE
troll Free Press
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
lie ESIGNED.

why Newly-Appointed Railway Mail
Clerk Returned His Commission.
A story they tell about Andrew jock,
the veteran railway mail clerk, comes in
well aG this me, when they are making
so many changes in the postal service.
jock is the oldest railway clerk -
Maine, and there are few. if any, on the
postal cars anywhere as old as he: Vet
he is active, efficient and sharp. Years
ago another fellow succeeded in getting
himself appointed to till Jeck's place.
OF course Jeck consented to make one
or two fps with him to show lam th'a
ropes. 1t happened that on til" i.g-t
trip they made together there was an
accident and the car was thrown from
the track. Jeck caught firmly hold of
the table when he felt the first lar aud
came ont of the accident un>c1atcard
and not the least Disconnected The
novice was flung in a heap into one cor
ner anG hadly bruised
docs tilis sort of thing happen very
often?'' ne asked jock.
..O.. yes;'' said jock and | forgot
10 tell YOU that we all ha.r place to
cling to when it comes. You must have
aholding place purposely fixed to get Il
stiff grip on with your hal-.!s.
The top of the car was mach battered
Joy time and the new man ;.kcd, bcfoi'-
they had gone much further on the
route. ''Mr. jock. what haS made all
these scars in the top of ihis carp
That's nothing said Jeck. at $
only where my heels have struck when
I've been tossed into the air by acct
dents such as we have had this morn
ing"
When they finished their run the new
appointee said he guessed he haze
enou,h of it. and would go back to sell
ing groceries for a living, and Jeck
staid in the railway mail service then
and ever liberalization (1Ne.J Jour
nal.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
ROTATION OF CROPS.

One of the Most Important Questions Rsla-
tive to Farm Work.
A subscriber asks us for information
about rotation of crops. This is one of
the most important questions relating to
farm work, and deserves especial con-
sideration. 1t has long been considered
as Indispensable to good and successful
farming and there is no reason to sup
pose under the light of all the later
knowledge derived from experiment snd
study, as well as improved practice,
that the old farmers were mistaken.
The old practice was to follow grain
with grass crop or with one which re-
quired frequent cultivation of the soil
This was SO firmly established that
among the English farmers whose crops
on the average have more than doubled
ours, every tenant was bound by his
lease to conform to it. and never to fol.
low grain crop with another one of
the same kind. The reason for this was
and is that the growth of consecutive
crops of the same kind rapidly eNl.austs
the soil, or encourages the growth of
weeds. 1t is found in the natural
growth of plants and forests that a GER
tain growth is generally succeeded
after it has attained its maturity-by q
different kind of vegetation; for instance,
when pine forest has been cut off, or
has been destroyed by fire, hard woods
succeed it, or when oaks or other hard
woods have been cut off, pines grow in
their place. The old fields of tue South
are a standing example OF this,
and the ''old field pine'' covers the
abandoned land from which
hardwood forest was cut off, to make
room for tobacco and cotton. The ex-
plantation of this fact is, that hard
woods are rich of potash, and taking a
soil, leaves the land deficient in it, and
hard woods, but as pine is rich in ST.
ica, and poor of potash. the soil ex-
hausted of potash, and having an
abundance of silica, produces the pine
with ease, when it could not produce
oaks, hickories and other hard woods.
The same principle applies to farm
crops. and hence wheat is followed by
grass and clover, and these with corn,
and corn with oats or barley; and then
the land is manfred, and wheat is
grown again. In practice, we think
this rotation is too short, and would be
greatly improved by a root crop after
corn. and oats and barley after the
roots, with clover. following, and the
second years clover plowed in for
wheat. with which grass is sown. with
clover added in the spring. But this,
too, might be improved, perhaps, by
sowing the grass and clover by them
selves in the spring, and not with the
| wheat, or early in the fall, as soon as
wheat is removed, thus permitting the
soil to be thoroughly prepared for the
| grass seeding, by which its success is
| greatly encouraged. -Amertoan A9ri-
| oAls41Yist.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
Pretty Good Material.

As Hostetter McGinnis was passing
Schaumburg S Boss Clothing Emporium,
that worthy merchant prince halted him
and said:
Don't yer want ter buy coato"
mo, l guess not The material of
coats isn't as good as it used to. Just
look at this coat. I've had it five years,
and had it turned once and It is as good
as new"
sEggscuse me. but dot coat has never
been turned. Dot outside breast pocket
ish on dot left side"
This was getting Hostetter in a cor
ner, but he managed to get out very
gracefully.
YES, | know, the outside breast
pocket is still ON the left side, but that
Just goes to prove what said about the
material being SO good. The coat has
been turned twice. ''-feDds Sifttngs.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
HIS EXPERIENCE.
Where Lovers of Dog Flesh Can Purchase
Canine Cheap.


Canine Cheap.
The Lewiston Journal gives a Boston
drummer's experience with a high
priced dog. which he had purchased on
one of his trips to Milne. The animal
had become sufficiently familiar with
his delighted owner to follow him, SO
the Young man started to drive to Read
field. His dog ran along beside his
team, iunlpng fences and scourin q
among the bushes. The drummer had
not gone far when the dog played the
mischief VIII a farmers sheep, and the
drummer c,"c-.:t,lv settled for the NUT
ton. greatly admiring the proves of
his dog. A few miles further on, the
animal made raid on flock of hens,
and killed several of them. The drum
mer pulled his wallet again, and paid
the cost of damage.
Well, he had hardly got under way
Once more, when that dog saw another
flock of sheep. The drummer had
bought all the spring lamb he could use
80 he got out of the buggy and started
for his dog with the whip. the horse
became frightened and sprang. Ray
mond caught the tail-board of the
wagon and stopped the horse.
He had no further adventures. but
when he reached ReaJ-.G.i, lie saw for
the first time that only small piece of
Ehain dangled from his vest. When he
Jumped into the back of the wagon, the
chain had caught, pulled out his gold
watch, and broken in two. The watch,
which had cost him one hundred and
twenty-five dollars, dropped in the
road. He sent that dog home in a
freight-car.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE.

There is tendency to receive the
the old time fashion of our grandmas of
long ear-rinGs.--N. 7. Mail.
Carpets should never be shaken, as
their weight inclines them to part, but
be laid on Il rope AMI then beaten at the
back.-E'rchd"g
Don't throw away old suspender
rings, but sew them to the corners OF
kitchen holders, scrN ing Il better pur-
pose than loops to hang by.
A very soft and pretty fringe for
homemade rugs is to be obtained by
ravelinw out the good parts of old stock
ing> and mittens: the crinkled appear
ancc is its pretty feature. and 1t Will last
for a long time.
If Won have a good farm horse keep
him The difficulties in the way of Sc
curing good horse can not be realized
until the animal is really required and
attempts are made at purchasing But
few horses are exempt from defect OF
some kind 1rou Times.
For a custard pudding take one
quart of new milk, yelks of six eggs,
one cup of sugar. one tablespoonful of
corn starch; flavor with vanilla. When
cold beat the whites to :. stiff frotu, add
oll.--half cup of sugar, spread on the
top and brown in the Oven.-The
Catrrtr
Nice tea cakes are made with one
egg. two cups of sugar, one cup of
sweet cream. one cup of butter, tea
spoonful of soda, two teaspoonfuls OF
cream-of-tartar. Season with nutmeg.
Enough flour for q soft dough. Roll
thin and cut in fancy shapes.-Ihe
Household.
The Rural NeU Yorker in reply to a
correspondent who wants some device
to keep crows from the corn field. says
it has found that crows do much more
good than harm among the corn. 1t
recommends the scattering of few
quarts of well-soaked corn about the
field just as the planted corn is COM
ing up.
The South Bristol Mass Farmers
Club is circulating this pledge: I'VE
hereby agree neither to buy nor use for
any purpose whatever the plumage Of
birds which have been killed solely for
decoration. And we promise to exer-
else all our influence to further the OBJ
ject of this pledge, which is the preser-
walton of song birds.
If you have let your warehouses
unfortunately get thin during the win
ter. lose no time in feeding up. The
full strength of the animals will be re-
quired in blowing and seeding time. 1t
Is poor economy to stint animals upon
which SO much depends in successfully
prosecuting the labors of the farm: 1t
Is, in fact, poor economy to let any farm
animal get thin.-N ?. Times.
The experience of fruit growers all
goes to show that it is unwise to rule
ones conduct by exceptional circum-
stances. The Florida orange growers
who loose a crop of fruit and perhaps a
years growth of their trees can not at
ford to throw away their orchards (and
the same remark applies to peach and
small fruit growers) because of an oc-
casional disaster. The evil must be
taken with the good, and sort of self
insurance system should be established
to cover losses in certain years. The
example of the seven years of plenty
followed by seven years of famine re-
corded in ancient history should be fol-
lowed in these cases.-N Y. Times.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
VEGETABLE BLoCDPURIFIER
FRENCH HOTEL.

city Hall Square, Neo York, opposite City Hall
and the Post Office
This Hotel is one of the most complete in its
appointments and furniture of Any House in
New York City, and is conducted on the
European Plan.
minutes walk from Brooklyn Bridge and Ele-
waited R. r. All lines of cars pass the door.
Most convenient Hotel in New York for Merch-
ants to stop at. Dining Rooms, Cafes and
Lunch Counter replete with all the luxuries at
moderate paices. july ely
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09

"Genuine Bargains" the key note
of these enormous sales. Times dread
full hard, money scarce, and crop pros
poets bad, but a chance to secure fine
instruments at half their value could
not be passed. Low prices captured
buyers, and Five Hundred Homes
Were made happy.
And we have yet on hand some 800
600 worth of prime Pianos and Organs
which must be closed out by Oct. LIST.
We say unjust" and we mean it. Oct.
1st must find our warerooms bare aud
hungry for an immense line of New
styles, at new prices, now being Sc
lected at the factories.
The Instruments to be closed out
are not old, or worn out, but almost
new, fresh, and in superb order. The
older ones thoroughly repaired, repol-
ished and made serviceable for years
of hard use. They are of all styles and
prices, and from good makers
Pianos. $50, $50, $75, 800, $50 to
$500. Organs, SO, $40, $50, $50, $50,
SIS, to $3.50.
Very Easy Terms given. Small pay
ments- Pianos ) to 10 dollars month
ly; Organs 2 to 5 dollars monthly.
Covers, Stools and Instructors given
free. Fifteen days test trial, same as
new instruments.
And Ludden & Bates they pay all
the freight, no matter where you live.
Descriptive. lists sent free. Just as
easy and safe to buy through cores
pondence as in person. Everything in
plain print. instruments represented
exactly as they are, and sold under
guarantee.
One uniform price charged all, and
that the very lowest. No one can pay
us a nickel more than our regular
price nor buy nickel less. On this
one price, square trade, rock we stand.
Remember, only until October LIST
these Grand Bargains are offered
Don't DELAY.
The weekly sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1886-09-09
PA n 0 S.
->@9EAN D@sa<-
OR GA N s
AT HALF PRICE UN-
TIL OCT. LIST.

',ar Grand Clearance Sale
continue.' th' oaeoh Aug' st and
Sept A tremendous success.
Wonderful results from loaU pri-
ces. $4,000 acorh If Pia,,os
and Organs sold since App H1st.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-11-17
FARMS FOR SALE.

THE UNDERSIGNED OFFERS FOR
i sale all or part Of hts farm, A miles
from Seattle aud q miles from the new
beach road, est acres e. surveyed By King
County surveyor. said farm Il surveyed
on into ia acre iota. ana - ell level and
naAriy al bottom land. and well adapted
e hap, Rasden o. hay culture. The White
River county Epad runs thEeugh the place;
past once aeroaB the road tive school
aoasoa and q church within thres-quax-
ters q mile Of the premises. and rail-
roa1 depot only half 8 m 10 away. IL Il
situated in DuwAmish river valley. and
the river runs all around three SIDES OF
the place, aad good water. No brush OF
timber on the plaee; Il e al In grass o
hay end would make q god dairy farm.
Also. farm 81 DewAtto, Mason county,
Of I60 acres, decided land. THIS place Is
nearly all good beaver dam lana, well
Wasered and easily cleared. principally
anal willow brush. There is now clear
Cd about 10 acles . good house and new
haFn; cuts enough hNF for Two COWS and
q pair Of horses. said farm IL well adapt.
cd 20 hop culture and handy TO Skokomish
Reservation. where pickers viii always
BE- e. hand.
Terms easy. For further particular
address. either By letter or person,
JOHN RINKS
oc30dW DawAmiBh. WI
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1886-11-17

GnA To 500 ACRES OF
|VVVLAnd adjoining the
Seattle, Lake Shore and Eastern
Railroad.
We have lands BY the acre in
side Of the city limits.
Ten or IL residences ; some OF
them very good.
-Four business properties on
Commercial street, and some Gne
blocks on Front street
One $4,000, one $4,000, one
$500 &ad one $500 piece Of
property on Second street
Three Saw Mills. One Hotel.
One improved block in Com
stock addition.
Stock farm Of 1000 acres.
Several small farms.
$4,000 stock Of Goods.
Lots and blocks in al parts Of
the city.
We think nov Is As good a
time TO buy property in Seattle
As there Win ever be. The time
u not far distant when Seattle
vii Be the recognised railroad
center Of Puget Sound. and whan
this tact becomes established il
viii be too late to buy property
cheap.
HEFNER s DISHOy.
OoS 20si Commercial street.