davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23

"Oh," said |, ''youre burglar, ell How
did you gel in ?n Just ciIeueCi tie front
door with o key and walked IL You don't
suppose | was fired in q skyrockct, do you :?
People seem to hsVe such strange ideas.
Still, as there arc some twenty WAYS TO en-
ter your house III overlook your i1aorance.
Worse guarded house ever saw" t:v ,7ent
on, "but it's large affords scope 20 :, mind
like mine, which delights IN breadth and
space. May l trouble you 10 tel me where
your watch is 2"
told him and h,. pIsced i, in his pocke;
with deferenlia! bcw
You don't seem 20 have Inucl; sander
fer me-" he resumed. "Haiu;t you arr
bonds?" told him | "aa Just cut Of bonds
and that the house had been hurglarZed 10
week before "Ah y spid h0. II thought Sc.
and q poor job they made Oft, too /! Inever
saw moro bungiing pieco ofama;eur work.
Some men seem to have DO inca Of finish
and delicate technique. They lack enthusi.
asm, sir. Where did you aint that your
diamond studs were, or didn't you say !?
Thank you, don't disturb yourself. Ill get
! them" Aud he opened the bureau draw er
ard took them.
felt bad about his taking tho studs aud
watch because | noticed tha, be already
meant to ask you, but had forgotten it in
the press of business" he resumed. Have
you q dog?n told him that the dog was
in the cellar. He smiled, and added ''I'u.
glad Of that, as [ am not fond Of dogs and
generally avoid them"
You will pardon my curiosityn l said,
after pause, during which he put The
alarm-ciocE into his overcoat pocket, but
| as | never had al opportunity before Ct
talking to real burglar, I'd like 10 ask how
burglary pays"
Well" he replied with a Sigh this has
beer o hard winter for burglars, but things
are looking up. People ara beginning 10
get Christmas presents il, but wedding
night Is the racket for me. Excuse nv
slang, please. It's hard life. though
you've no idea the trouble people make for
Us sometimes, and it takes the fine point off
the ssnsibilities OF fmost natures. But, thank
goodness, I'm not lost to all feelings of hu.
manity. I don't steal from babes in the
cradle"
what were you" I inquired, ;'beforo
you became burglar?"
Il was q policeman" he answered,
haughtily.
Il don't often strike house IS poor as
THIS, ne went on. "Was that silver watch
the only one you had? Why don't you
wear gold one? And, by the way, hsva
you such thing as gold lead pencil? Iva
wanted one for long while and never could
seem to come across it." I told him mad
nothing but stylographc pen. Il was in
my vest pocket.
He took it. He also took bot:ie Of dys
pepsia medicine and ny tooth brush an;
slowed them away. asked him if ho ever
took fellows clothes. "Oh, no." said he
| he, quickly, II draw the line at clothes es
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23
L. MAURICE FLOAT.
PROFESSIONAL BURGLAR.

Office hours from II 10 5 a. N. Sundays en-
ccpted
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23


DAILY TPL WEEETy
One year...,.....s6 90 One gear. r............$i 90
'S'z aionths...... , 90 Sir nlonths = 90
One montk........ so Three months....... / co
Contract advertisers riI not be aoCed to exceed their
space, unless The excess is paid for at transient rateSr
and under no circumstances ,ciN they be aV0iDed 10
adrertse other tka1 their legitimate business in the
space contracted for.
AH transient advertisements must Jc paid for in ad-
Cdncs.
Marriage and death notices must be pad for in aa
Cancc.
Resolutions IN nemoram, ofttanks tributes of respect
resolutions adopted by societies or persons unless of
public concern tcN only be printed in this paper as
advertisements.
Tie Gazette Office is connected NTH The Telephone Err
change. advertisements, orders for the paper iefoS
or any information or business can De SEM Jy tcs
phone.
Persons Tearing the city haze tic Gazette mailed
to them, postpaid, for fifty cents month, and the
address changed as often as desired.
All Communications should be addressed 10 Gazette" !"
Alexandria, Ta
Entered at the POstotice CT alexandria, Virginia, as
second-clGSs mctter.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23
CHRISTMAS TOYS.

We cannot let Christmas pass by without trying
to please the little children in their many wishes
Let's see what We havo this yra;: $cishs Iron
Axle Wagons, ocking Horses Tip Csrs, Drums,
Tin Animals and Wagons. Dcls. Trunks. Nine
Pins, Heavy ARTILLERY, Trick 3rxcs Billiard and
Pool Boards Banks, Children's Carriages, Planes,
Musical Tops. Guns, Targets, &c.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23
nH. +: CREIGHTGE q. SON
SEWING MACHINES.

The good qualities Of tic abog1 machines arc
now well established.
We are selling them ct as low price as they
can he purchased in any Of the larger cities, and
arc prepared to allow IS much for old machines Of
any kind as is possible.
We Lave seen much good done by the "Do-
meStic' that we wish every family to have at
least Que in their house. Prices fixed but terms
accommodating
Call and examine. or send for circular
oct22 T. s. LEADBEATER & BRO
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23
loci ICE! ICEi

\ full supply OF NORTHERN ICE, of superior
quality, constantly on hand snd for sale whoicsais
and retail on the most favorable terms.
Orders lc'. with our drivers, al our oficc ar hJ
telephone will receive prompt attention.
Our facilities for delivery by tho car load are
unsurpassed in any city
Packing for country delivery speciality.
F. 4. REED & co.
los J,nnev,s Wl,srf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23

49, !. GARLIN 1. SONS
NO SO KING STREET
.aEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA.
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
HARDWARE AND CUTLERY.
!!der3 Hardware, Locks, Hinges, Screws,
. 'ija:s Lstches, &c, gaddlery, Hardware
}tit!r Bits Buckles, Rings, Hames, &C., &C.
Wn2oiwrigh:s' Hardware, Ax!cs, Rims, Hubs
1rat"s SSweG Fellows, Tire Iron, &C., Pockets
T@o.s Carving and Butcher Knives, &c. Guns
Hasrj1 ::c A full and complete stock OF first.
q. t5o:a away in ctor2 @ad sold st lowest cash
.'...-. aug15
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23
NECKWEAR.

OuE assortment in this line is comr!c;c. showing
tho latest shapes and colors. Prices
25c, soc, 75c and 81.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23

VIOLlNA CORDIAL, SO extensively advertised
y IN the GAZETTE, also the Folina Cough Cure,
PlaScrs, Blood Pills, Soothing Balm. Vermifupe,
Quetng Syrup, Liver Pills, and Pain Cure, are
medicines prepared by largo stock company in
Baltimore We arc prepared to supply tho trade
and country merchants at manufactures prices.
oct22 E. S. LEADBEATER & BRO
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1886-12-23
Alrzautlrla Q5a=e.tE.:tt,eg :tt,eg.
PUBLISHED DAILY AND TRI- WEEKLY BY
EDGAR IYDET,

at the Gazette Building, Nos 70 and 72 Prince $!
DAILY UEEE,I
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-18
FORGOT HIMSELF.


The Difference Between Theoretical
Knowledge and Practical Efficiency.
The adage, "It's easier said than
DONE" is only variation on what we
are constantly observing in life of the
difference between theory and practice.
We may be fully equipped with q theory,
and ever ready glibly to expound it,
though when the occasion arises for
putting it into practice we forget all
about it.
The teacher of chemistry in a large
public school was speaking to his class
Of the properties of particular acid
In one hand he held glass vessel filled
with the acid in question; in the other
he held stick of chalk with which he
had Just been writing chemical formu-
la on the blackboard.
"By the way" he said, addressing his
class, al may remark here, that should
any Of you by ACCIDENT spill any OF this
acid on your hands, l should advise you
not to give way to the very natural i'm
pulse to rub it OF with your pocket
handkerchief. Take piece of chalk in
stantly and rub it over the wet surface,
and the chalk will ncutralize the effects
of the acid"
Just then. by an accidental movement,
he spilled the acid on his own hand
Quick as shot he dropped the piece o.
chalk which he held in his hand, pulled
out his pocket-handkerchief and begar
rubbing tho injured hand vigorously
Everybody who was present laughed al
this unexpected application Of theoret
ical knowledge: and after q bewildered
glance round the room the teacher
laughed too. The demonstration Of the
difference between theoretical knowledg'
and practical efficiency was complete
Youh'S Companion,
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-18
PiTH AND POINT


AT some Of the afternoon 'teas"
no tea is served at all. Again we ask,
"Whats in a nameP"--LowGU Citizen.
1--WE were both the victims of a too
heavy load" as the burst gun said to
the drunken sportsman Paul Her.
aid.
1t may be supposed that the man
who has been sent to the House of Cor
rection twenty-three times IS not
ashamed of his convictions. Chicago
JOu'ndl.
-"Courtships are often carried on in
poetry" according to an English writer.
And in this relation We may remark
there is a great deal of bad poctry,-N
Y. Graphic.
In China the fec for medical attend
ance is from five to ten cents visit
The Chinese are an intelligent people.
They always pay exactly what a thing
is worth. N. o. PtcayW,se.
Father (to spendthrift son)-Yes.
my dear boy; nothing would give me
greater pleasure than TO pay off your
debts for you. The only question is.
who's going to pay mine?
"A good deal is being said lately
about the ability of young wives to
cook. The ability of young husbands
to provide them with somethngt to cook
ought not to be entirely left out of the
question. philadelphia Call.
The editor ofsthc DcSeret MeDS,
Salt Lake, is in jail for supporting four
wives. We will guarantee the payment
of his fine if he will give it away. just
let the profession know how he sup
ports four on one papcr.--San Fran
cisco Alta
1t Is a question for the matnema-
ticians to solve how much time two
women save who risk their lives run
ming across the street in front of 8. horse
car and then have to stand and wait for
the other woman. who was afraid to
run. - SOmerUiLie JoarBa'.
There was man, once on time,
who thought him wondrous wise, He
swore by all the fiblod gods he'd never
advertise. But the goods were advor-
tiscd ere long, and thereby hangs a tale.
The ad was set IN nonpariel, and headed
'Sheriil's Sale. '"-Pcc6'S Sun.
Say, Mr.. Gogglescope, what do
you come to our house so often forP"
Gogglescope (patroniz.ngly)F snow,
Tommy, you must ask your sister Clara
that, when she comes into the parlor--
Just ask her." "Wcll, did. and she
said she'd be blest il she knew. ~ En-
change.
BERTHE, aged nine, is a great ad-
mirer of athletic sports. HIS cousin
Lizzie, being about to enter the matri-
monial estate, n family council was held
upon the bridal toilet. Everything had
been satisfactorily settled except the
gloves, upon which quito a discussion
arose. BERTHE finally being appealed to
rather astonishod the meeting by his
prompt and emphatic response: "Get
boxing glovesr'-PatSburgh Chronicle.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-18
CHANGE OF WORK.
A Very Satisfactory and Beneflcent Porn
of Recreation.

A Very Satisfactory and Bcneflcent PORN
of Recreation.
Change of work is one form Of ro,re-
alton, because, it may be presumed, tho
new employment occupies different
portion of the brain, and the one that
has worked obtains rest. Monotony OF
occupation is always irksome, no doubt
because certain portions Of the brain are
exclusively occupied. A hard-worked
man should think no form of recreation
beneath his notice; he is fortunate if he
has really satisfactory hobby or two.
Talleyrand's prognostcation of the kind
of old age that awaited the man who did
not know whist, Is full of truth, il it be
applied to amusements and hobbies in
general. Perhaps its author would
scarcely have recommended whist for an
old man had he been able to foresoe the
bewildering notifications which have
been made in the way of playing the
game. In this, as in other things, the
tendency is to turn play into work.
Let us hope, however, that some Of our
simpler forms of recreation may
be permitted to survive at least
for our time. Books remain,
and we may be thankful for the
stock we already possess. Reading offers
the most available means of recreation.
Dean Hooks practice in this respect also
Is worthy of adoption. He tells us him
self that he always had novel in hand.
1t lasted him a long time, but when a
mon has much to do q little time thus
spent does the mind good" Books,
however. should be suited to the occa-
sion. As Bulwer tells lis, "when taken
Unfortunately they are no cure for the
diseases and alliictions of the mind.
There is world of science necessary in
the taking of them. have known some
people in great sorrow fly to novel or
the last light book in fashion. One
might as we'll take a rose-draught for
the plague. Light reading does not do
when the heart is really heavy" By all
means let the recreation be conformablc
to the tastes of the individual and adapt
cd to his condition. When a man over
sixty, who has led sedentary life, sud-
denly and vehemently takes to tricychng
be may feel pretty sure that he has
failed to catch the meaning of the term
recreation" and that very different
process will certainly develop ITSELF
Fortnightly RevieD.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-18

"A young girl in New York Is q sue
cessful and skillful locksmith.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-18
sunflower Seed for Fowls.

grow sunfower seed for chickens,
and find it excellent, in fact the best
thing we have tried. mix two quarts
of the seed with six quarts of oats,
shelled corn, or any small grain. II
the fowls ara housed, spread litter on
the floor, and scatter the seed among
it to give them exercise in picking it
out, and that each may get a proper
share. This amount Is given to seventy
five fowls tv'ice week We gather the
sunfower heads in wash tub, spread
them In the sun to dry, and shell them
on dry day by beating with stick. II
some Of the heads are little green,
scratch the seeds out with a curry
comb. Once planted, sunhowers re-
stock themselves by what seed will nat
urally scatter upon the ground. If 1t is
desired to rid q plat Of them, let the
fowls run on the patch, and they will
put in their time scratching for tho
seed.-Cor. Prairie Farmer.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-06-18

"A poplar tree In Wilkes County,
Ga, is twenty-seven feet in circumfer-
encc. The first synod ever held in the
State convened under Its shade In 1890
.-Chlcaqo Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-20
COIOred Society Notes.

Mrs. Rachel Simpson. of Arcadia, died on
the 18th inst, and was buried Saturday
afternoon, at the colored graveyard.
The School will hold Its closing Examina-
ton Friday, the 21st. Examination to COM
mence at P. NJ. All are invited.
The Amateur Literary Club is preparing
to give public entertainment on the 4th of
June. The club will be assisted by pupils
of the school.
Mr.. Mathews, of Pilot Knob, who has been
quite i'll for some time, has nearly recovered
his health. Mr.. Mathews is one of the prom
inent colored citizens of the Knob, and all
are anxious for his recovery.
Prof. j. c. Hazeley, native African, ex-
hibited his famous Panorama of African
cities, peoples, and scenes, on the 18th inst,
at the church. The Professors exhibits,
and the lectures accompanying them, were
highly interesting and very instructive, and
the large audience who were present, looked
and listened with undated interest, to the
end, for they saw for the first time, real,
true picture, of "heathen Africa" Among
the most interesting pictures shown, were
those of King Metsa, Bishop Cornether of
the Episcopal church, ut Lagos, and Eli, his
son, who has become millionaire, and now
owns six steamers and has in his employ
800 men.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-20
A Matter OF Gratitude.

Months ago 1 had occasion to publicly tes-
tify to the rare curative properties of Swift's
Specific in the treatment of rheumatism from
which had suffered for several years. l
am again constrained to bear testimony to
the virtue of this famous medicine in the
treatment of another and quite different
disease.
During my late visit to the North I was
stricken down with malarial fever, and ut
times my recovery was extremely doubtful.
At this period of my sickness, however, a
copy of an Atlanta paper came to hand in
which was a certificate from some person
who had used with success Swift's Specific
In similar ease. Having bottle with me,
l Immediately commenced taking it, and i
am proud to say that good results followed
at once. 1 then procured few bottles from
Boston, and continued to take three doses
daily until recovered my health perfectly,
a result largely due to that valuable prepar-
alton, $. S. S. Gratefully.
SIDNEY HERHERT.
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mail
ed free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co., Drawer 3, At
lanta, Ga. 1871 w. 231 St., \. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-20
Arcadia Items.

The road leading from Arcadia to Black
River is In very bad condition, and as this
road is very popular drive for city visitors
ought to be repaired and graveied at once
Mr. Roadoverseer, please take notice.
Bill Fletcher has commenced taking down
the old house preparatory to building. His
new house will be 1Sx40 feet with an s'L''
1SX30, all two stories high with bay windows
in front. This honse will be an ornament to
Arcadia and hope some other public-spir-
tied gentlemen will take the hint and build a
house as good as this one will be.
Robert Baird is building a kitchen and
dining room addition to his already comodi-
Gus residence.
w. FL. Thomson and family are here for
the summer.
Miss n. H. Lone, of Bismarck, was down
last week visiting friends. Come again.
| Messrs. Medley and Quick, of Wolf Island,
have come home to spend the summer in
Gods country.
| DIR. Robert Baird, of Dnnklin, has come
home and Intends to locate in the Valley as
DR.. Bergman will soon remove to Caledo-
mia, where he will educate his children and
practice his profession. 1 wish them both
success.
There have been several gentlemen from
the city here to buy property, lately, but
could not make the arrangements, as the
owners would not sell at any price. This has
been Il thorn in the flesh of Arcadia for the
last twenty five years, and it does not seem
to improve as time goes on. 1 would advise
some of our property owners and business
men to go to Tom Suck and buy about ten
thousand acres of land, build Il stone house
in the center of it, live there themselves,
never let any one come near, and see how |
many goods they would sell. This is just |
what some of the merchants in the Valley
are doing.
fish scarce, as the fishermen get moth
ing but tick bites.
In my next letter 1 will give you the ar
rivals at the Arcadia House, if 1 can get
Brother Peck to give me the names.
Mrs. Clara Hoffman, President of the Mis-
souri, Womans Christian Temperance Union,
will lecture in the Southern Methodist
church, Arcadia, on the evening of Wednes-
day, Goth inst. We, the undersigned minis
tiers, unite in an invitation to the people of
Arcadia Valley to come and hear her.
J. c. BERGMAN.
4. 0. PENNIMAN.
B. F. THOMAS.
J. w. WORKSHOP.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-20
THE CHICKENS BOOSTING HIGH.
Methodist Parsons in Council.

The Ministerial Association of the NJ. E.
Church, st. Louis District, was held in Iron
ton, Mo-, May 11th, 18th and 18th.
The following ministers were present:
Rev. b. st. James Fry, DID,, Editor of Cen
lral Christian AdUOcdte, j. p. Maratt, and
S. Warner, of st. Louis; d. W. Crow, OF
Crystal City; NJ. Bell, of Perryville; O.
Lunbeck, of Palmer. c. r. Wade, of Suli-
van; j. G. Hartman, of Bonnie Terre: and
B. F. Thomas, of this city. Also, j. A
Field, Esq, of st. Louis, and Mr.. Westcott
of Pennington. Reys. J. c. Bergman and
J. W. Worsnop, of the NJ. f. Church, south
were introduced to the Association, and as
sisted in the devotional exercises.
The Address of Welcome in behalf of the
citizens, was delivered by Rev. B. F. Thorn :
as, and responded to by Rev. J. F. Corning
ton, 2. E.
Rev. Corrington, A. NJ, was elected presi-
dent; Rev. Thomas, vice president, and S.
Warner, secretary. Sermons were delivered
by Revs. J. p. Marlatt and o. NJ. Martin. A
lecture on Palestine was delivered by Rev.
B. st. James Fry, DID.
Papers were presented, as per programme,
and animated discussions followed the read
ing of each. A Sunday School mass meeting
the closing exercises of Friday, was well at
tended and addressed by j. \. Field, Esq,
and Rev. Warner.
The next Association will be held at Bonnie
Terre, October 18th, 18th and 18th.
The Association adopted the following
resolutions:
ROsOlred, That the thanks OF the st. Louis
District Ministerial Association are hereby
rendered to the people of Ironton for their
Hospitality and kindness and attendance on
the meetings of the Association, and to the
pastor and the society for the special prepar-
alton for the meeting.
Which was responded to by a resolution
from the pastor as follows:
Resolved, That we, the members of this
church, and the public in general, feel that
we have been highly favored in being per-
mitted to entertain the st. Louis District
Ministerial Association. We trust that the
near future may bring the Association again
to our City. The Christian example of these
brethren, their lessons of instruction, SER
mons, and lecture, have been to us an evil
dence of culture and Christian love. We as
sure them that our highest esteem and pray
ers shall be with and for them wherever they
may 90.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-20
ANNOUNCEMENTS
For Circuit Judge.

We are authorized to announce JOHN L.
THOMAS as 4 candidate for reelection as
Judge of the 26th Judicial Circuit, subject to
the decision of the Democratic Judicial Con-
yention of the Circuit.
To the Democrats OF the 26th judicial Cir
can't:
served the people once as their Circuit
Judge-I trust not unacceptably. For TWEEN
ty years, since retiring. haye served you
unoffcially. without asking or accepting any
office. If 1t please you to elect me your
Judge, (for which office offer myself a cam
didate), L will devote to the discharge of the
duties thereby imposed the best qualities of
my head and heart. Always Democrat,
am, of course, subject to the Democratic
Convention. J. W. EMERSON.
Ironton, Mo-, April /, $50.
FOR STATE SENATOR.
We are authorized to announce DANIEL
MORRIS, of Butler county, candidate
for the office of State Senator from the oath
Senatorial District of Missouri, subject to
the decision of the Democratic Nominating
Convention.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-05-20

the brides parents in the evening, from to
II O'Clock, which was attended by many of
the most prominent gentlemen and ladies of
the Valley. The bridal supper was fine, and
the floral decorations magnificent. After a
very pleasant evening the guests departed,
and the bridal party proper went to the
ready furnished cosey home of the new
made husband and wife. The residence had
been ready and awaiting their occupancy for
several weeks. 1t is the old Gideon property
handsomely rebuilt, and Hastily furnished.
Here we leave Mr.. Reese and spouse with
best wishes for their future prosperity and
happiness. That they are both deserving
the good the gods may send them, makes the
wish as reasonable as it is sincere,