Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1886-04-08
PLAIN WRITING.
An Amusing Incident Showing the Wick
edness of Illegible Chirography.

An Amusing Incident Showing the Wick.
edness of Illegible Chirography.
The importance of writing plain and
legible hand is nowhere better under
stood than among the men who spend
their days and nights in newspaper
offices. The numerous soul-harrowing
blunders that have escaped the eyes of
editors, compositors and proof-readers
and reached the bright sunlight of pub
lcity in cold type might be enumerated
by legions, but we believe there have
been very few occasions when illegible
penmanship has had the effect of setting
an entire community by the ears, pre-
cipitating heated discussion and foment-
ing internecine strife and local discord.
Yet such case has occurred in Penn
sylvania, if the apparently veracious and
interesting account of a Philadelphia
paper may be believed.
A little over twelve years ago the en-
terprising residents of the town of Hat
boro suddenly became alive to the fact
that nothing would so greatly contribute
to the material welfare of the village
and start it irresistibly on the broad
highway to metropolitan position
as bridge across the quiet
little stream that crept past
the outskirts of the corporation.
The matter grew in successive stages
from double-leaded editorials and COM
munications by Taxpayer" Constant
Reader" and ''Veritas" in the local pa
per to the dignity of political issue
The building of the bridge across the
Pennypack formed the keynote, so to
speak, of one of the most exciting and
heated campaigns ever enjoyed by the
citizens of the county. The election
was closely fought, and the party which
favored public improvements" won
the day. The law provided that view
ers should be appointed to look into the
subject and report their conclusions to
the grand jury for final decision. The
board of viewers was appointed by the
newly elected officials, and as matter
of course they unanimously recommend
ed to the grand jury the immediate con-
struction of the bridge.
Just at this point the matter seems to
have been dropped, but for what reason
the chronicle does not relate. Perhaps
it was discovered that the county treas
ury was in condition that
would not warrant so heavy a draft up
on it, or perhaps some more absorb
ing question arose, in the dis
cussion of which the enterprising citi-
zens lost sight of the bridge issue. 1t
may be that the metropolita n aspirations
of Hatboro encountered chilling frost,
under the influence of which the bridge
across the Pennypack drifted into for
getfulness. Be this as it may, the great
Improvement over which the famous
victory was so gallantly won was never
consummated.
But after quiet slumber of twelve
years there has arisen a new demand for
that bridge, and recently the musty
records of the county were tumbled over
in search of the grand jury's indorse-
ment. 1t was finally tished up and
eagerly scanned to see what it was. And
here is where the real trouble began.
A local attorney CHANGED to have been
a member of the grand jury, and to him
was delegated the duty of putting the
report in writing. With laudable pro-
fessional zeal he succeeded in producing
a scrawl that is not nearly as legible as
Chinese, after the lapse of a dozen
years, even to the lawyer himself. The
faction which favors the bridge profess
to be able to read the last sentence of the
report. The opposing faction claim that
it is as plain as print to them, too, but
the two translations do not agree in the
most essential particular. Whether the
grand jury meant to say: ''The grand
inquest non concur in the within re-
port" or ''non-concur," no impartial
tribunal is able to decide. The old fight
is, therefore, on once more, and with re-
doubled bitterness. The double-leaded
editorials with no uncertain sound have
reopened in the local paper, and Tax
payer" Constant Reader and EYER
itas'' have taken their pens in hand with
all the vigor of their perennial youth.
The quiet serenity of Hatboro is again
disturbed by the clamor of the warning
forces of the bridge and anti-bridge
parties, and the only thing the people
are unanimous in is the conviction that
a man who can't write so that he can at
least read his own production should
buy typewriter at once.
Meanwhile, that great artery of COM
merce, the Pennypack, goes unspanned
to the sea.-DetrOit Tribune.