davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1886-07-24

There is somewhere in George Eliot
remark to the effect that dissimilar
taste in jokes is great strain upon af-
fection: innumerable families might
serve as melancholy instances of the
truth of the observation. Many a mar
riage has come to an unhappy ending
from the lack of sense of humor TO
serve as a sort of lubricating oil to the
wheels of daily life. There was n pro-
found practical wisdom in the advice
given by shrewd and worldly wise old
woman to her granddaughter on the lat
ter's wedding day: 'Feed your hus-
band well and learn how to amuse
him;" and it is safe to say that If the
bride succeeded in filling these two In
functions her married life moved on
with smoothness and happiness. Some
body has described humor rs the sixth
sense. and certainly the unfortunate
mortal who lacks this is deprived of as
large part of the pleasure Of life rs q
man who has lost one of the five which
are reckoned the rightful Inheritance Of
all humanity. 1t is true that q majority
of mankind are more or less lacking in
this respect, and that genuine and
delicate appreciation of humor is rarer
even than musical ear; yet it is fortu-
nately true that in most of US exist the
rudiments which may be cultivated into
a very respectable capability of enjoy
ing the ludicrous Only one man in a
thousand can compass philosophical
superiority which shall enable him TO
regard the accidents of life with undis-
turbed equanimity, but If one can culti-
vate the habit Of discovering in all
things subject for laughter or for
smiles, there are a few lots which may
not be very comfortably endured. Upon
him who pcrsistently smiles at fate, she
is very apt to bestow the opportunity Of
smiling with her. The sense Of hunlor,
moreover, serves rs common meeting
ground for nature which without it must
forever remain separate. 1t is the pass
word to a secret brotherhood in which
the good fellowship Is perfect. Those
who possess it are never strangers after
occasion has brought a recognition Of
this powerful bond of sympathy. No
matter how diverse the tastes, the cir
cumstances, the ambitions, the sixth
sense makes Of one race all who are en-
dowcd with 1t, and the fact that the ex-
quisite delight they enjoy must forever
remain mystery TO ordinary mortals
increases the strength Of the bond that
unites them. A comforter in sorrow
and misfortune. a lighterer Of lile's
burdens. quality that heightens JOY
and lightens misery. there arc few hui
man qualities 50 well worth cultivation
as 4 sense Of humor: and there Is no
other which does 50 much 20 render ils
nosennsnf ulaaknnt ID Ern with or %
much aids him 20 avoid the sharp cor
ners and ungraci0us characteristics -
his fellow morfals who 60 thro' life en-
dowcd with but IRE senses ~ bosfon
Courier.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1886-07-24

Hop out Of the road, you little brown toad,
AS ugly as can be.
Oh, what use are you? and what can you dol
say. little brown toad. answer me-
"Oh TaIr little girl. with eunShiny curl.
AS pretty as pretty can bel
Ill answer you dear. Now, prithce, give ear
a bit of a moment 10 me.
Come. sweet little child BE never afraid.
just take me, hold me with care.
Look into my eye. There surely descry
A jewel magnificent rare.
SO much for beautyl A word for my duty,
The thieves that your garden infest,
10 capture them all. the great and the small,
I'm certainly striving my best.
Were 1t not for me, the garden would be
Despoiled OF its beauty and bloom.
Inc fruit and the flower to surely devour
The cunning maruuders are come.
The worm and the bug, the mischieyous slug,
Intent npon stealing a dinner
Think never of i'll Detailing until
Whiskcd OF is each pilfering sinner.
TOO smart am / to hop after the fly,
The bug or the angleworm SO
patiently sit until he sees at
To forage anenr me, when, 10!
Before ne can think, as quick as wink
Draw nearer, I'll whisper to you
swallow him, thus, without any fuss.
And this is the service do.
Farewell, little girl. with sunshiny curl
"A word, please, in parting, receive.
Think kindly of me. Ne'er judge hastily,
Appearances often deceive"
Golden Days.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1886-07-24
V0RTHINGTON & co.
100 Church Street,
ANNAPOLIS, MD.
DEALERS IN
Drugs, Medicines,
And Chemicals,
SPECIAL N0TICEI

|p,own' Iron Bitters, (Genuine,) 7Octs
=. co,gb Svrnp. l9cts
Rel Star Cough Cure, (Small Size.) l9cts
Red Star Congh Cure, large size,) Sscts
|worthingtons Standard Cough =
Remedy, zocts
Electric Liniment, zocts
|uone Iiniment, good and strong, 50c pt.
Horse and Cattle
Powders, ~ocSs
|Fontzs Horse and Cattle Powders, lscts
|Proctor's Liquid Glue, lOcts
|Proctor's Insect Powder, 2Octs
WoRTHINGToN & CO..
h51v 100 Church Street.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18

another from the east, and the Magyar
insurrection was crushed out. Russia
thus, by one OF the blackest crimes
which has stained its annals in the cen
tury, repaid Austria for its aid in sup.
pressing an uprising in Poland fifty-four
years earlier, and left legacy of hatred
in Hungary which was destined to be-
come one OF the most potent elements in
the resistance of Russia's schemes of
aggrandizement in Southeastern Europe.
In 1867 Hungary formally came into
possession, by the consent of the Aus
trian Government, of most of the rights
and privileges, except separation and in
dependence. for which it fought SO gal
lantly in l84S, but its emnity to Russia
was not in the slightest degree abated
by that act. Hungary possesses about
l6, 900, 900 of the $4,000 600 inhabitants
comprising the Austro- Hungarian EN-
pire, and its influence is potent factor
in molding the foreign policy of the I'M
perial Government. 1t is especially
powerful in this exigency, when it is ar
rayed on the side of the national aspira-
tion to retain the Austrian prestige and
influence unimpaired by the Balkan
peninsula. These are some Of the reas.
ons why Premier Tisza's utterance cre-
ated such sensation in all the Euro.
pean courts from the Neva to the
Thames. st. Louis Globe Democrat.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18
A Mexfcau Colony.

The Rev. William F. Eaton, of Knight
vile, Me-, was years ago Baptist cler-
pyman, but he afterwards drifted into
politics, and in greenback times he was
a candidate for governor, polling lob
votes. Now he is the sole New England
director of the Credit Foncier, a scheme
in which many Portland and Cape Eliz.
abeth people are interested, and soon he
is going to lead band of his adherents
to the Mexican state of Sinaloa, on the
Gulf of California, where they will make
an attempt to found q colony which
shall be cooperative and practically in.
dependent. Mr.. Eaton was found the
other day engaged in job of carpenter
ing, but talked freely of his intentions
and of the prospects of the enterprise,
the inspiration of which seems to have
been book entisled Integral Cooper
ation," published several years ago by
Albert K. Owen, of Chester. Penn. The
Colony is a corporation organized un-
der the laws of the state of Colorado,
with its headquarters in New York city.
The amount Of it's capital is to be 81 ,000,-
OO0. 900 in shares of $40 each; its teach.
ings are similar to those of Henry George
and its directors are to be governors of
the commonwealth. Mr.. Eaton states
that the corporation has in Sinaloa S0,-
600 acres of land held in fee simple; that
200, 900 more are available, and that q
contract has been signed by the Mexican
secretary of public works and by repre-.
sentatives of the colony.
The persons who are prepared to be-
come colonists are estimated by Mr..
Eaton to number over 1000, nearly all
from the Middle States. The sixty men.
women and children who are to leave
Portland and its vicinity under Mr.. Eat.
on's leadership are to 60 to the Bay Of
popolobumpo to found Pacific City. y
and they hope to be at work there before
December lst. The land is said to be
below the frost line and adapted to the
cultivation of all tropical fruits, but Pa
cific City is destined. 80 the colonists
maintain, to be not an agricultural but 6
manufacturing center, supplying the
Mexican markets to the south and east
Mr., Eaton shows his faith in the projec
by preparing to cut loose entirely from
his New England home. He will taxi
with him his wife, whose enthusiasm fo
the enterprise is only equaled by hi
own, and his daughter just verging upoI
womsnhood.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18
Why Hungary Hates Russia.

The bold declaration of Premier Tisza
of Hungary that the government OF Aus
tria- Hungary would never consent to
see any single great power hold undis.
puted sway in the Balkan region, was
aimed, of course, ct Russia alone. The
beginning of the hatred which Hungary
feels toward Russia dates back more
than a generation. This feeling has al
ways bsen the disturbing element in the
tripple alliance. When the kidnapping
of Alexander revealed the hand OF Rus.
sia the Austrian government for day
or two apparently acquiesced in the
arrangement almost 40 freely as Ger
many did. Subsequently. however,
opposition to Russian agrandizement was
heard in Austrian official newspapers
feeble and guarded at first, but atlength
becoming more open and pronounced:
This was the reflex and expression OF
the aversion to the Muscovite, which
has become part of the political creed OF
the Hungarian division of the Austrian
Empire. When the tyranny and duplic.
ity of the Austrian government cul-
minated in the attempt in lS48 to excite
civil strife in Hungary in order that
Austria might have a pretext to inter
fere and subvert the Hungarian Consti
tuition Just sanctioned by the Emperor
Ferdinand, the Hungarians rose in revolt
in defense of their liberties. The Hun
garian National Assembly declared tht
house of Hap p,burg deposed, chose Kos
suth as Governor-C General OF the coun
try, and strove to shake off the Austrian
yoke by force of arms. Ferdinand abdi
Gated, and his nephew, Francis Joseph
the present monarch, became emperor
In the war which followed the Hun
garians displayed patriotism, courage
and military and administrative skill
which gained imperishable renown TO
Kossuth, Georgei, Benz, Dembinski ant
others. Hungarian arms were every
where successful. An enemy, however
which the Hungarians had not take'
into. account, and against which tho,
could offer no effectual resistance, wa
about to appear upon the scene. Russi
fearful that the example Of the Magyar
might incite the Poles to insurrection
came to Austria's aid. Three powerfr
Muscovite armies invaded Hungary, on
from the north, one from TIE west -
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18
The Gas.Meter.

II ia made of tin and brass,
And they say 1t measures gas
With its dial;
If you think 1t is not classeo
With the fastest OF the fast,
Make a trial.
True, It has its Easiest days"
When the band with distance plays
Very rough;
But, as each observer knows,
On the slowest days 1T goes
Fast enough.
If yoI burn lamp at night
To decrease the cost of light,
You will find
That your bill for gas Is less
Than Ii was before-O, yes,
In your mind
1t will be dollar more
Than 1t was the month before.
You may boil,
But II is the meters way,
To get square with those, they say,
Who use oil.
When 1t makes your wallet weep
silver tears to pay the steep
Think what might that grief have beer
If the meter had less tin
And more brass.
-Philadelphia Inquirer
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18

She: don't see why women should
not make as good swimmers as men.
He: Yes; but you see . swimmer has
to keep his mouth ahut. Life.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18

Why is baby fed from ten to dozen
times q day? Because babies, bless EN-,
should be fillsd up whenever they show
symptoms Of "hollerneas.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18

engagement, and at the same time avoid
danger, he concealed himself behind the
ramparts, but curiosity getting the bet.
ter of him, he stepped forward and
glanced through loophole. At that
very instant shot from the enemy's
gun pierced this aperture and lodged In
the brain of the luckless soldier. De-
spite his caution his dream had met with
veri6cation.
When one speaks of the requirement
of wealth through tho means of dream,
it sounds as roman tic as the average nov.
ell of the days of Captain William Kidd.
But that such instances do occur in the
world of reality has been practically
demonstrated time and again. A young
man Of Dordrecht, Holland, after inher-
iting large estates, started forth into the
wolld to have a good time and enjoy
himself. For short time he did have
good time, and, as a natural conse-
auence, when he came home one day he
found that the pocket.book of his father
was less plethoric than when he first
came into possession of it. In fact, he
learned that not only had he run through
with his patrimony, hut that large debts
had been incurred, with no apparent
means of discharging them. Turn in
whatever direction he would, he saw NO
way out of his dilemma. While in this
condition, he was advised in dream to
90 to Kempen, o town situated q long
distance from his home, where, the Wis
ion stated, would be presented the
means of extricating him from embarass
ment. He needed the advice andmade the
Journey as directed. Arriv ed in Kemper
he was walking on the bridge, when
he was accosted bo mendicant, who
implored him to make known the cause
of his melancholy. After some conver
sation the young man made frank CON
fession of everything. including tha
dream that had Induced him 10 1raye
Los Angeles daily herald., 1886-11-18

Young ladies now furnish brush
broom 10 dust the coAts Of their lovers
whore they have laid their pretty pow
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-11
polNC InE pARLINcs JUsTIcE
The Trouble the photographer Has W itl
ImfantiIe Humanity Presto.

I The Trouble the photographer Has ith
InfantiIe Humanity Presto.
'Do You photograph many children nov
aIayS9" inquired a GLOBE RFPU BII' rep
resentatye of prominent photographer
YESTERDAY. while examining lot of baby
pictures.
Yes" was the reply. 'the babies are
pretty steady customers, and among the
most troublesome We have. Next to mid
ilt-age,i. plaiu-faced female. VIII" wants
ten years taken from her age and large
stock uf beauty added to her t"Ih ensemble.
a Young mother with her babe is the most
aggravatng person the photographer has
to deal with. Not one in nifty thinks the
photographer does her darling Justice. for
OF course, every mother has the sweetest,
prrttieSt baby in the world.
They bring them 10 be photographed
when there l. scarcely any ditttrenc" he
tween the features of one and another
dress them up in lace and lawn, and prop
them up with pillows. When they are
posed there is scarcely anything visible hut
a bundle surmounted by a red face. Then
the mammas complain that the camera will
not idealize and make a chrruh ont of Il
frightened little IIinrSrl of humanity Whose
most salient characteristic Is abnormal lung
power. There is usually great deal Of
time expended arranging the precious in
fant, prevailing upon it Ia smile, and al
laying its fears. Mamma must generally
stand close by Ia preserve order and add the
finishing touches.
Still, We do not have half the trouble
phutographng children that We used {"
have. The tIse necessary for taking a
picture has been 81 reduced that. if We can
catch a child in the right pnSitI"n and with
a desirable expression for moment. pres
Ia, the picture is taken, and there We are.
By the old method we used Ia require 50
much more time that it was next to an inn
possibility Ia get really good picture of a
baby. They were certain to move and blur
some of the features 0r begin Ia cry and
produce a lamentable failure. In those
DAYS the artist had To be- diplomatist, up
Ia all sorts of willy eNpediemtS to keep AN
infant still and Ia produce a pleasant effect
on its little ply Niogm"my. When he re
moved the cap with one hand he had Ia
exhibit in the other jumping jack OF some
bright cOlored toy Ia engage attention, or
else he diverted the infantle mind by
whi>tling like a mocking bird. or otherwise
fooliShly dispOrting himself. That sort of
thing is largely done away with, but chill
dren make very bad subjects for the came
IA all the same"
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-11
Killed by the Cars.

John Brady was killed about O'Clock
Monday morning in the Bee Line yards at
Columbus. where he was employed a. a
switchman. He was working on cut of
nine cars. uncoupling them. and was swing
ing from gondoIa car, when his feet struck
into a frog The brake beam Of the caI
struck him and, as his feet were held by
the frog. his body was bent over and terri
bly, crushed, although not a wheel passed
over him. He did not speak after being
taken from the track. but died in thirty
minutes. The body was taken To Coroner
Egan'S establishment, but the coroner did
not render verdict. He intends To inv"s-
tigate the affair, and will not report Tor ,rv.
eral days.
Brady was thirty-nine years of age, un'
married. and lived at No. 81 north I.azelle
street lie had been in the employ of tht
Bee Line company for over twenty years.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-11
All, THERE ! MR.. BECK.
he Wants TO Bar Married Women from
Teaching in the Public
Schools.
The Regular GrisT of business Ground
Out, but Nothing OF Great Importance
UnIess II be Tilt Betwe the Pres
ident and Mr.. Eisenmenger.

The board Of education met in its regular
semi-mnnthly session last night. At :
o'clock President I.nrrn2 assumed the chair
and called the meeting Ia order. On roll
call the follow ing members answered I"
their names Beck. Bell, Bingham. Burns.
Coles, Cox, Eisrnmenger. H"trhkiss, Holden,
krarn~, Kelley, Martindell, Miller, Pence,
RldgrIy. Shrimpf. Warren. president.
The minutes of the previous meeting were
read, approved and signed.
The president announced that before
proceeding To the regular order of business
he would appoint visiting committees in
accordance with the regulations.
Mr.. Miller called the presidents attention
To- the tact that the appointment of those
committees lay with the chairman of the
committee on law and contracts. This
proved to be- 80 and the presidents list was
recalled.
Clerk Cushing then read his monthly re-
port, which Was in substance aS follows:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-11
GRAND EXCURSION
To kanopolis, the Future Great City of
Kansas.

To kanopoIis, the Future Great City of
Kansas.
The center of the state of Kansas and the
center of the I'uitrd States.
Reduced railroad fare. The Kanop"liS
Land Company will sell tickets from
Springfield, Ohio, t. Kanopoli>, Kansas,
and return at the. low rate of so for the
round trip via l., B. X W, the c. X A,
and the L. F. T. X. to Kan0poIis.
Tickets good going on any train up 10
and including Tuesday evening, May IIth,
amt returning at any time within 10 days
These tickets are sold only 10 kanOpOIiS,
Kansas and no other point, as the Kanop-
oils Land Company pay, part Of the fare.
Tickets can be- USED from all Intermediate
tickets at the store of }. W. Phillips. Main
street. near Limestone, Springfield, Ohio.
Railroad fare free to purchasers OF town
lots at KanopuliS
The KanopoIiN Land Company gives a
discount tO those who 90 on this excursion
and buy lots at KanopoIS. AZ that all have
an opportunity Ia obtain entire railroad fare
free. For particulars see other printed
matter.
kan0poliS, Kansas, is backed by
wealthy corporation OF capitalists from
New York, Ohio. Kansas. and other states.
They own sufficient land for a city of I5O.-
900 inhabitants in the heart OF Kansas,
hence they are Offering great Inducements
Ia manufacturers to get them To locate at
kanOpoli>. and Nhrewd business men pre-
dict that kanupoliS will BE- another Chicago,
because it is undoubtedly destined TO be
the great railroad. commercial and manu-
featuring center OF Kansas. the grandest
agricultural state in the Union. the state
which in - years attained as much wealth
and population a. New York or Pennsyl-
vania in $50 years.
Public sale of lots May T., Is and Il,
1856.
All should come now and enjoy a grand
trip at a pleasant season of the year. Come
while you can secure town lots at your own
price.
For railroad tickets and time of trains
apply tO your nearest ticket agent
For pamphlets giving further particulars
town plat. map Of Kansas. etc. Address
kanopOliS Land Company. KanOpOlis,
tf0rmerly Fort Harkerl Ellsworth county,
Kansas, or Springfield, Ohio.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-11

Maria Smith Ia Dorothea X. Thelm, lo
in Clark> addition. 81, 800.
John 4. Shaw TO Sarah j. Shaw, - Z
acres of land in Greene township, >l.9l1.l l;
English Lutheran church to Cora d.
Bouck. deed to correct error in property OF
Factory street, 81.
Henry F. Rice 10 Patric Gatfney, lot il
Rice's addition. Sl4O.
Jas. Galloway to John Briggs, 320 acre
land in Madison township, 81.
Jacob Briggs to Charles Briggs, deed II
correct error in land in Madison township
81.
F.. Y. Lupfer to J. c. Oldham, lot il
Charles StrOud'S addition. $500.
A. II. kulp ct al. to Levi Kulp, qui
claim To property OH Washington street, 81
john T. Widdecombe TO Ann Franklin,
lot in Plattsburg. 81 200.
John f. Widdecombe to Susan =. Widde
cOmbe. lot in Vienna, $1,000.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-05-11
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.

SEALED pr"prSalS Will be- received at the
y office of the city Clcrh uf the city Of Spring
i"ld. Onto. tor furnishing the materials and
doing the Labor ui the following classes of work
ior said city. between the time "i entering int"
contract and tht. nrSt daS uf December. 4.
u. l~Ni, according 10 plans and specifications
Ia the ufc" ot the city Civil Engineer Of said
CItN. and In accUrdanCr with the ordinances Of
sad city relating To said work, said prupUS sails
L. be- ~ follows:
First, for furnishing and putting In curh and
gutter. per lInrAl foot
~rC"ud. for furnishing material and laying
brick sidewalks. per square yard
Imri. for furnishing material and LAYING
modern street and alley crossings. per hHtal
foot.
Fourth. for furnishing material and laying
h"uld"r crossings across alleys. per SIuaT"
yard.
fmh. for cutting sidewalks to grade. per
cubic yard.
SIXTH. For filling sidewalks t" grade, per cubic
yard.
seventh. for grayeling sidewalks. per cubic
yard.
All proposals must be- for doing said work ar
""rdlnG Ia the plans. profiIr> and specifications
GA the tliS Engineer SuiilCr, must be- signed by
the lull maine nf all parties Interested in said
bid and 10y s"Imr responsible diSintrTrStrd per
son A. 4 guarantee that a contract VIII lee Ell
tered INTO provided the hid is accepted. and
must hr ON iila In the tltS Clerk : Office uU or
before twelve 'clurk Noon Of Tuesday. the 18th
DAY uI Man. 4. h. l>~i. To be OPENED aud pub
urly read Immediately after l. o'clock Of said
day in the presence of the Mayer. city EnEl
nrrr. Assistant CITY Engineer and City lrrk.
or any two OF them. and reported to council at
the first meeting thereafter
The city council reserves the right To reject
any or all proposals presented for any reason
they may deem sufficient.
i'y Orderuf council.
L. am J. :. SHEWALTER. city Clerk.