Morning journal and courier., 1886-06-29

People going on excursions are so happy to get home that they are glad they went New Orleans Picayune.
 t'Is it wrong to toast Jeff Devis2" asks a contemporary. Mo- there is nothing wrong about it; but why not boil hims-Puek.
 Plain Enough.-Little Mamma, why doesn't the sea run over if all the water flows into it!' Nonsense, child! Don't you know it's full of ngess"-Burlingto Free Press.
 This world is full of disappointments. Mamma" cried five year old girl, "I started to make my doll bonnet and it's come out pair of pants. ."--New Orleans Picayune.
 A young lady in San Leandro dreamed the other evening that she was riding and that the horse was running away. She jumped and fell from the bed to the floor, dislocating her shoulder. Thrown from a nightmare, as it were.-Alameda (Cal) Democrat.
 Missionary {to newly converted chief of a cannibal tribe)-"Wel1 Luke, how about cannibalisma Four weeks ago you slaughter ed your father; have you not improved since?' "Cannibal-''Yes, indeed, my teach CT since then; have only eaten couple of very distant relatives. ."-Fliegende Blatter. The baby was doubled up by the cramps and yelling at the rate of mile minute as the father and mother stood over the crib with the laudanum bottle between them. 'No, Julia" he said. gently but firmly, 'you pour it out; that child is growing Sc much like your mother that I can't trust my self. ."-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
 A man walked into a saloon on Main street the other day, and in defiant tone exclaimed: "Show Democrat and will show you liar.'' Immediately there arose thirteen men, and were about to pulverize the intruder when he meekly said that if | -,Y,1l 17,,I %ha yFith him he would show them crippled shoe maker who agreed to have his shoes finished the night before, but had not done so. Four teen beers were next in order.--Salem Oak ) Pioneer Register.
 An amusing incident occurred in the Ma pie street Methodist Episcopal church Sun day school last Sunday. The school was about to recite the catechism in concert, when Rev. J. B. Toulmin, the pastor, pro- prounded the preparatory question: "Are you readys" The momentary silence that followed was abruptly broken by an impul- sive youngster on one of the rear seats, who shouted the word ''Go." Ths effect was electrical, but the catechism wasn't started for several minutes.-Lynn Bee.
 Duley's parrot, that wonder of an Asylum street restaurant, whose celebrity the Times so helped to build up some three years ago, has not had much notice, of late, in these columns; but he deserves a good deal. He has been growing, if not in grace, at least in his vocabulary. Among his recent acquisi- tions is this remark: ''The Lord is my shep- herd, and he shall provide chestnuts." This irregular rendering of the truthful psalm of David-which the bird actually gives-has begotten a suspicion of his strict orthodoxy; but Mir. Duley was yesterday offered $100 for him. He wouldn't look at the offer-nor would the parrot.-Hartford Times.
 Perhaps the latest illustration of the disas- ter consequent upon misplaced button is that afforded by the fire in the shoddy fac tory of Payne, Pierce & Menzs in Chicago, Monday. A button on some rags which were fed through picker caused the machine to strike a spark, and the consequent fire caused loss of $60, ,00O. There have been times in some mems lives when they would have given $60,0 ,000 Gf they had it) to have had that button in some place where it was pain fully needed, and therefore the total loss by the misplacing of that one button may fairly be reckoned at $120, ,000.-Norwich Bulletin.