Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-11-19

AnelOmann IN Ne" YORK j on tDe Wahe.
TIE influence OF the more American clubs.
such as the Union League. the Lotos and,
tie University, has been directed against L
80 steadily and with such effect that it,
manifestation is now mercilessly guyed.
Nothing cures a weakness so quickly as
ridicule. Among wealthy young club-men,
howeyer. some advanced and hopeless cases
vet remain. Ttey have been proof against
an the shafts OF wit, against the ostraci.m
of sensible men, against the contempt of
women. against all the influences usually
successful In restoIing mental equilibrium
which some absurd change Of soeiety hai
disturbed.
LAMN's BANK ACCOUNT.
Among the most curious examples OF the
unrf storable AnglOaaniac Is Young man
ahou, town a the name OF Lau.m. AT
least. n Lis nsme is not Lamm, IL may a.
well he for all present purposes. He Is
wealthy. a college graduate, and fello ~ oi
real inteIligence. II bis mind bad not bcen
wrecked by this unhappy mania he would
he an agreeable companion socially and
p.rhaps useful In an honorable profss-
sion. Bot be l. completely given over
to Anglicisms. He does not often 20
abroad, tut he keeps chambers ali The
while in London. lie knows nothing
about American horses or race-c0urses. but
Le is perfectly informed about every stable
ia the United kingdOn, aud bets on the
Derby and TIE Il. Leger with singular
astutouess. II bs Glib recital of heraldic
sicnifice iIon and OF Lord So-and. SOS family
tree from the main trunk 90 the remJtcsf
twig i any sign OF bis familiarity with the
peerage. he must have forgotten more than
Edmund Lodge ever knew.
Lsmm l. something unique In Anglo.
maniacs. TO hiS acqu9intaaccs, no matter
bow dun De their sense Of humor, be j. a
constant source ~ fun. His pose, which
represents more labor and study than doc-
his college degree, j. one OF his most
striking acquisitions. The letter : has not
more curves, and a hZZgrd standing on IL,
/ tail would not make more obvious effort.
Among the stories told Of Lamm Is this,
which occurred last summer:
An Acquaintance who happened Ia have
! left his rOney at home met him one night
and a,ktd him for the loan Of 800.
Certainty, deah boy" answered Lamm.
| "Tm perfectly delighted 10 be Of Slrylce 10
TO you. But will twenty pound be euoughi"
Loads" answered his friend. with
broad gris on bis face al the reference t.
twenty pound"
Lamm counted out the twenty pound
! in TN good American $40 bills, and handed
/ them over.
"Fye plenty oi money in bank" said thc
| gentleman, "and. Il YOU likc. IN ju,t draw
| YOU a check for this" lie pulled q litt,c
! chcck-book from bis pocket, such as youn.
| ,W6lls carry about with them from which 10
| l.sr 1T a D 81 0 NJ
! Iamm lsZiy lifted hi~ IS glasses aud
regarded the pcration with an ar Of dainty
! dsdain.
"Deah toy he SAID, "what the deuce,
| y'know. i, That"
"Tbisg WIN. check-book, Of course"
"Aw, YES. Of course bot, ! say, old
( fellow, YOU don't mean to tell me, y'knOw,
that YOU carry 1t about with you:"
why, 10 bc sure do: who don't!"
Laum Llcw the ash from hi cigarette.
"Walc. ucyah does, De said, &" nor /.
His fric0d grinned broadly. Il suppose
YOU aud ,hc Prince keep bank accounts,
DON'T YOU :" hc presently asked.
"Ccriainly."
Nci, when you Want 10 draw some
money, how do you do ~"
"As 10 Wales caWn'l say, y'Snow; but
Vixen want me money cali ne clark, and
Ttsll him 10 ring me 4 hit OF papah. H.
ietches The papab, know, and wrie on
,t Pay bearer twenty pound and he takes
u 10 the bank and draws the money. !
don't know where be goes, y'knOw, for Of
cawse felah cawn't be expected 10 keep
usck Of on the places whore he keeps ac-
counts"
"a BOTTLE or BEAH.'
. .-,t. ,... ,.-o.k ,. -,,..,,, mas, -
ibis amusing animal AT in the reception
room Of the Union CIuJ with some &C.
quaintarccs. Hi- name was Lumiey. some
one summoned a walter aud iuUied the
company 10 plrtake OF HI bospiIlily.
Each gave bis order and Lumlcy sad,
Bring ne a bottle Of lcah :" The watt
er departed, and prc-ently returning
placed before each his several drIug..t. lie
ST a bottle Of Milwaukee lager (out %
y hicb. they say, the ancestral Lumey did
pretty WelD IN front Of the dude. Lumley
glanced at y moment and. Waitlh. " be
{ said. - want bottle Of beah-iake this
-tufi away
The walter picked il Up, looked at it.
went Of He came back with a bottle Ot
Ncw York lager and ~ il down. Lumley
nul up us eye.glsss.
Wsitab :" be callcd. "What the deuce
.ils you. vailh; | want bottle Of beah-
scah. yhnow. don't want this"
The knight II the cloth turned the bottle
round ana round. carefully spelling ont the
alel. Then be- went Of and consulted tue
steward. Presently that functiOnary ap-
peared.
"Reg pardon, sir" he said 10 Lumley,
"but d'd YOU want bottle OF beer, sirf"
Don't bc stupid answered Lumley.
sharply. II said belh, and want belh."
I'm sorry, sir" replied the steward,
THAT We can't seem to suit you. sir; BAT
Milwaukee and New York lager are al the
beer w have, sir"
A lock of ennui and intense disgust
| cane over Lumley', face. "Oh deab," be
said, weariiy turning 20 the Others, "hOW
perfectly dense these fellows are sup
pose. waitat. in this bllwsted country you
cad /, Bawss's ale :"
on BOARD THE sCnOOL-sHIP.
One OF the officers on board the school
.hip 81. Mary bgs 4 friend Of tbi. species,
Who affords bin 4 world Of amusement.
Officers on board the scbool-ship do not
have great opportunities for entertain
| ment. Monkeys and dogs are not allowed
on board, and so about the best an officer
can do i occasionally to have friend with
linl- AoIhlOIr cpuiituf II frequently
sought, therefore, by the officers Of the ~.
Msry's. But the fun CorktOp furnishes
for tbe officers j. nothing 10 the hilarious
merriment which the little "middies get
out OF him. To them he is thing OF
beauty and a Joy forever.
Recently the ~. Mary's put into New
port, and a gentleman who was spending
the summer there went out b her in his
launch 10 call on one Of the officers. A. be
got over the tafirai the first thing that met
his eyes was C0rktop gazing earnestly up
into the masthead. The geTtleman fol-
lowed Corktop's eyes and deserved a Door
little wretch Of a MILDLY Standing up there
with his arms straightonrd down at his
sides. picture OF forl0TnnrSs.
"Hello, COrktop," said the visitor.
"Wby, bcwd-d'ye-do. deab boy! Dye
see that little felllh up there, now:"
Yes, see bin. Hes being punished
for something. isn't be:"
I'm suah cswn't sly. | wish knew.
I've taken quite fahney 10 the little fellah.
y'know, and, by Joye, thiGk It's deuced
hard luck he's havirg. He's an awiuliy