Morning journal and courier., 1886-10-13
GRO WN.

''Why is small boy like woman?' said q
New Hartford man to his troublesome wife
No response. Because he will make man
grown" said the conund1umist.
Little Bub-Pop, if there is a war with
Mexico can I go for drummer boy?" Pop
Certainly not, my son. Why do you ask?'
Little Bub-sf Because 1 don't see any other
way to get drum before next Christmas "
He got it.-Omaha World.
City Girl-s'Are those great strong COWS
over there yours, sir?n Farmer-sEYes,
mum; and they are the strongest in this sec
tion." City Girl-''Then you must be the
man that makes hat awfully strong butter,
aiu't you?'-Lowell Citizen.
A Norristown man who listened to slut
tering speaker the other evening says he
hopes the postoffice department will extend
to him the benefit of the Immediate deliv-
ery' system before he attempts to make an
other speech.-Norristown Herald.
'Did you hear the new cure for hydropho-
bia, Mrs. Mulcahya" ''Faix 1 didn't, an
what is it, Mrs. O'Reilly?" "Plasther of
Paris, dear, an I'm going to thry it on little
Tommy, who was bit be Heffernan's bull pup
yistherday. San Francisco News Letter.
The Unreliable Sex.-Gus De Smith-'sThe
young ladies of the present day are no good
They can't be relied on" Kosciusko Muir
phy-''What makes you think sor' Gus
they all hirt with other men. Texas Sift-
ings.
a sure sign: Mrs. Barker-So your boy
Wilkins is to be a professor, is he? Then
he must be making good progress in his
studies.
Mrs. Carker-No, not exactly that, but he
is getting to be beautifully absent-minded.-
Chicago Saturday Evening Herald.
I have read Joseph's account of his little
off 1o,,t+ +I,n to
statement of a young man with his antece-
dents could only be received cum grano sails.
The vanity he displayed in his dress, and in
such heated visions as that the sun, moon
and seven stars stopped in their courses to
pay obeisance to him, is not specially calcu-
lated to inspire confidence. Indeed, every
thing in the life of THE Asiatic dude tends
to discredit his story.-Southern Bivouac.
She is said to have engagedin converse
ton with stationer regarding the design for
a crest to adorn her note paper. When that
had been agreed he asked what motto
she desired. 'sMotto2" said she; ''Oh, Just
put down something in French. Something
short like Emultum parvenu. Upon another
occasion she electrified a small audience by
the announcement that the Rev. Mr.. So-and-
So was graduate of the Such-snd- Such 20
illogical seminary.-Chieaga NeMs.
The other day gentleman stepped into
Wabash avenue book house and asked for
copy of the ''Iliad'' The clerk went to an
attendant and asked which edition he should
give him. "Bryant's or Pope's," was the
ply. Meeting shortly afterward the second
asked the first which one he had given the
customer. "Oh, neither" was the reply; ''I
found one which was better than either"
"Whose is that?" asked the second clerk.
EtHomer's," was the ingenious response
Chicago News.
There is one advantage in subscribing to
an organ. When you see an article or letter
in a non partisan paper, you are obliged to
read it through in order to get at its con-
tents; but in the organ the case is different.
You know, Immediately you ascertain the
subject of the article OF letter, just what its
arguments will be; you can predict positive
ly as to the bearing of its ''facts," aud as to
its conclusions-why, bless your innocent
soul! it is as obvious the end of mules
tail.-Boston Transcript.