The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-01-26
liMEkILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Discovers . Conspiracy
and summsrily Fires the Conspirstors
With Appropriate Remarks

For some time past feeling OF dis
, satisfaction has prevailed in the breast.
ofcertain members of the club, although
they have been very careful to exhibit
no signs outside of the ring. This dis
satisfaction had its start in the election
OF officers and appointment of commit.
tees. A day or two after the last meet.
ing. Elder Juneberry Smith, the Hon.
ClingstOne Csbiff, Shinbone White,
Judge Chewso, State Rights Taylor,
Lord John Sluggs and Prof. Winter.
green johnson meet IN a room near
the market to talk over their griev-
ance. Judge Chewso offered the fol-
lowing resolution, which was adopted:
ResotCed, Dat we hev bin ignomin-
ously oppressed by de president of de
Lime Kiln Club, an dat we refuse 10
take part in any furder purceedin's of
dat club until de resignashun of Brud-
der Gardner am laid befo' il fur ack.
shun.
Speeches were made by Shinbons
White and Lord John Sluggs, asserting
that the hour had come when men of
spirit must assert their independence
or expect to be slaves forever. The
name of William Tell was called up
and culogized, and the conspirstors
sang revolutionary songs and ate pea
nuts until late hour.
The regular meeting of the club
opened at the usual hour Saturday
evening, with Brother Gardner on
hand to sound the triangle. So far As
appearances went all was peace and
contentment Every eonspirator was
IN his seat, and no action betrayed that
storm was brewing. Brother Gard
ner held letter in his hand, and was
about to make some comments when
Judge Chewso arose and said:
''Misser Chairman, befo' dis beab
meetin purceeds any furder. should
like to make few remarks"
Brother Gardner looked at him over
mis- spectacles in great establishment,
and there was buzz Of excitement
throughout the hall.
AT meeting of a postum Of dis
club, held few days since" continued
the Judge, lit was unanimously re-
solved dat de President of dis club
should be axed to tender his resigna-
ton, fur ackshun BY de club"
When the Judge sat down silence
reigned so supreme that Samuel Shin's
chilblains could almost be heard grow
ing. 1t was thunder-claP in a clear
skv.
Ibid | understand you TO say how
many members war present at dat
meetin'?' asked the President when
the silence had become positively pain
full.
Judge Chewso stated the number and
gave the names.
AN SD seben dissatisfied members out
Of total of two hundred and eighty
four demand my resignashun?" qucried
the President in voice which had a
buck-saw edge to it.
"Yes. sshr'
when q majority of dis club frow |
out a hint dat a new President am
wanted" said Brother Gardner, ''no /
trouble will be experienced in securin
my resignashun. Seben members SIM
ply represent a conspiracy. Oar am
no bylaw to punish conspiracy, an /
darfore feel justified in takin' de case
iii nv own hands"
He descended the platform and al
"roached the Judge. The Judge called
for his friends to rally to the standard 4
and die for liberty, but not q man raj
lied. What followed will be a blan!
in the Jud ge's life. His heels knocked
yer three stools, broke lamp. brough;
down eighteen lengths of Stove-pipe
and split door. His head seemed t.
bump everything for ten feet around,
and locks of wool went slowly fioatin.
toward the ceiling. He was finally
picked up and given lift through the
ioor leading to the alley. and after the
asst bumpety-bump on the stairs had
lied away Brother Gardner looked
around and asked:
Am dar any odder pusson in dis
!all who wants my resignashun?"
No. No, Mo- shouted every man
resent, including the six remaining
Il think / kin discover de entire
gang widout mistake" said the Pres
dent a. the clamor ceased. Elder
'unebery Smith. you may stand ober
leah."
IL doan' 'zactly like to, sah,"
the Elder.
81 specks not. but / want dem hoofs
o be movin'! Clingstone Cabiff, Shin
zone White, State Rights Taylor, Lord
Iohn Sluggs an Wintergreen Johnson
viii follow arter you"
The men dragged themselves to the
designated spot, each one looking as If
e fully expected to be hung, and whea
hey were ranged in line Brother Gard
er said:
81 believe I has de k'rect number.
traps some Of you may want to make
statement?"
''Yes, sab, does" answered the five
n chorus.
Every one Of the band was ready to
urn states evidence and peach on the :
theirs.
81 know how it come about widout
ny explanashuns," continued the
resident ssI has had INV eve nm deao d