The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1886-01-02
An EnRlishman's Experience on Our
RAILWAYS.

1aas, blawsted roomy country.
shouldn't call it country, either; I
should call it world, ye know. But
eawn't you regulate your railroads in
American What 1 mean is, cawn't YOU
ave an official railway map with the
Government seal-something reliable
for foreigners, ye know, and stop these
/ blawsted fakirs with their bloody maps
and hair lines?"
The reporter inquired whether the
travelled Englishman had suffered NOR
ally, mentally, or physically because of
the American dispensation regarding
railroad maps and ar lines.
Well, fancy, ye know! In Chicago,
! at the Grand Pacific, a man asks for a
ticket to Cincinnati, and all the reply
he gets is Big Four?' At first We
know, l fancied the booking hagent had
mistaken me for one of your Big Four
Minstrels, and l was properly Insult
ed"
you certainly don't look like burnt
cork comedian"
"1sayther not, ye know; and the book
ing hagent did the quite correct apollo
gy, and explained about the railway at
tachments of the four big cities llndi-
Gated on his bloody map. | 'ope never
to see another St. Leger run if the
Large -Four Railway wasn't laid down
on dead straight hangle of forty-fiye
degrees between Chicago and Cincin-
cinnatl. 1t looked on the bloody map
to be the only railway connecting the
two cities, and | booked that way We
know"
"Nice road, too"
Vans; but presently found myself
IN Chicago again, at the Palmer 'Ouse,
and when l asked for a Cincinnati
ticket the hagent impudently observed:
. / sell over the Panhandle. Go that
way" And when l inquired whether
it was the Big -Four Panhandle, the
hagent replied: Big Four hell See
here, the Panhandle is the route you
want. Why, the Big Four runs way
round by Kankakee. We make the
connection straight Then he flashed
his bloody map with big black line
on dead straight angle of forty-fve
degrees between Chicago aad Cinoin-
nsh, and said Panhandle was the In
dian name for pet route ye know"
You patronized the Panhandle?"
"Iaas."
"Nice road?"
"Yaas, but 'ow about the bloody
maps? All ave got hair lines? Coming
Christmas time 1 was in Chicago at the
fremont, and I said to the booking
hagent there, Which hever of the two
lines to Cincinnati is the shorter-the
Big Four or the Panhandle?' Neither,
sir; you want the Monon; it's the fav-
orite route not only takes you through
an 'andsome country, but it's a hair
line Demme, sir, 'ope never to see
Lunnun' Bridge if he didn't unfold an
other bloody map with another black
line at bangle of forty-five degrees
connecting the two cities"
you took the Monon?"
"Yaas"
"Pleasant road?"
"Yes. but 'ow about the bloody
maps? 'Ow many hair lines ave We?
AS l remarked, this is a roomy country.
you know. 1t as to be. The stock of
Chicago 'otel liars would crowd any
country on the other side. At the
Sherman 'Ouse the booking hagents
showed me another bloody map. I
told i'm my experience with the other
booking blokes. Look 'ere' said e,
my friend, do you want to got to Gin
cinnati the way the crow flies 'Yaas.'
Then you must take the G. and A.
We skip you through to Lima, shoot
you straight down and save you time,
trouble and expense. Try the hair
line once The bloke 'ad o bloody
map, the same bangle of forty-fve de-
grees. Ere it is. 'Ere's the rest of
the collection"
The travelled Englishman displayed
an immense package Of railroad litera-
ture, the bulging bulk of which sug-
gested ut least II worth of Confederate
scrip.
"Find the A. and P. route oil right?"
"Yaas, but also found more liars in
Chicago. Demme, sir, the A. and B.,
the B. and g., the II. and l., the J.
aud K. they all ave liars, bloody
maps, and hair lines at the same han
gle. I like your freedom ERE, sir, but
in Gawd's name 'ow is it? 'Ow is it
your Government permits the publica-
tion of 'aH an undred hair line maps,
hall laid out on the same bangle, lead
ing to the same city, ye know? 'Ow IS
hF"-Csnctse'sGti Enquirer.
Mover Passed Through the Crucibfe.
General agent of insurance com