The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-01-14
THE MERRY SIDE |

found it loaded.
Very few firemen who have not had an
alarming experience.
"IfI go, will come again." said the SAVIOR
So will the Book Agent
This is the kind of weather for preachers to
preach "red-hot'' sermons.
There's beer-vat boiling in the other world.
A Texas brewer was murdered last week.
''The Investigating Committee couldn't find
Dan. Dalton" Strange, he ought to be fined.
To be careful is to be wise-especially when
you go to sit down on chair at q taffy pulling.
The successful artist of the future will be the
one who can make pretty picture of any face
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Judge Johnson oughn't to have sworn in the
Cincinnati members-they had been cussed
enough.
Marietta has new doggery and gas well.
Fusil oil and gas ough to make the little city
red-hot.
After all his abuse, mule is wise creature
at least it is always safest to appeal to his
head.
The candidates for offices in the gift of the
Legislature all ran fast enough-but they didn't
start soon enough.
The Louisville Courier-Journal tells how to
get justice in Cincinnati. 1t is to build the Pen
itentiary walls around the city.
What's the use of the Ohio Democracy worry
ing about Gen. Jackson? He wouldn't touch
one of them with forty-foot pole.
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Persons visiting Columbus will find the big
show in the House. If they would see the men
agerie they must go into the Senate.
A man named Morrison, at Millersburg, Ohio,
completely slost his head" He tied himself
and got his team of horses to pull it of.
The only kind of forgery the Democratic party
was ever successful in, changing the col
ored race in the South from black to yellow.
A Legislative Committee has begun to inves-
tigate frauds in Hamilton county. Those MEM
bers will have to be reelected If they finish.
A natural spring of ink has been discovered
in Arkansas Old man Tilden thinks of going
out there to write a letter to the Democracy.
The venture of the Cincinnati gang was a o on
7. In other words they staked nothing
against the seven-spot, and were given the pile.
So
Dalton tried his favorite bluff game on the
Legislative Investigating Committee, but soon
found that he was not in the Democratic lyin's
den.
A correspondent of the Cincinnati Post says
the Adjutant-G Generalship of Ohio almost event
abegging." He means they went begging for it.
A Cleveland young man married a woman
while on his death-bed. If he hadn't been
there he probably wouldn't have married her.
A report says that Dalton "showed his teeth
to the Committee." Glad that he has turn ed
around-he has been showing the other side
long enough.
Rev. T. Dewitt Peake has been offered
handsome salary in the Northwest. After his
long fast in Meigs county, he will highly enjoy
his new field.
Miss Hill, who had the great law suit with
Senator Sharon. has adopted a novel way to
pay her lawyer, Judge Terry. She is going to
marry him.
s'I will never lend my influence to -
Church !'' said the conceited young man. There
wasn't Church in the place that knew he was
in town.
Another cure for hydrophobia has been dis
covered-the Turkish Bath. 1t will not prove
popular. Some people would rather die than
wash.
Bro. Nash, of the Gallipolis Journal, has been
sued in slander suit for five thousand dollars.
He can sell enough old papers before Court to
pay off all the damages that will be awarded.
An exchange tells of a Vermont man who
sold his wife for six dollars. But the purchaser
never could find him afterward. 1t wouldn't
have been safe for him.
-
The beer-j -jerkers aud doggery-keepers at At
lanta have been defeated in their final appeal
to the courts. There's one consolation left them
They can go and get drunk.
The Marietta Register says fellow who
wades through the mud and rain to see his girl,
is rain beau. Why wouldn't it be better to
call him mud cat.
The young man pathetically sang az miss my
mothers gentle touch, just as though he hadn't
howled himself hoarse over spanking from
her, time after time.
81 thought YOU said this horse was ound,"
said the irate purchaser.
$50 he is-hear himl" replied the dealer,
him on the side. And it was so.
sOh, how realistic % exclaimed an Indiana
woman, as an old church member somewhat
given to prevarication started the hymn, 81
love to tell the story J"
A. M. Kelley who was appointed by the Pres
ldent as Minister to Italy, then to Austria, and
was rejected by those countries, has found his
level. He has been admitted to practice law in
New York.
The Democrats are accusing Cleveland of an
to build up third party. What
would he want to do that for? Hasn't he
trouble enough with the two old ones?
An Ironton woman prayed that the Rink
might be turned into religious tabernacle
ind along came the Salvation Army and took
possession of it. See the power of pra'ar!
There is man over in Meigs county who eats
fifty dollars worth of morphine per month, to
allay the pain of wounds received in the army.
We1l bet that he don't vote the Democratic
ticket.
An American boy with sled can have wild,
free and untrammeled fnn. The Czar of all the
Russias can't peep over his back fence for fear
Of being blown up with dynamite.
"Are you all satisfied with the will ?" asked
he dying man.
ayes, father !' sobbed all in chorus.
But he hadn't been dead two weeks until
they brought suit to break it.
John L. Sullivan has scored another victory.
He knocked down little news-boy in New
York. II would have been good time for the
great referee to call time on Sullivan-the end
of time.
An old lady over in Kentucky was appointed
a committee on decorations for Sunday School
The result was beautiful
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