Evening star., 1886-11-27
PIN.
Baltimore. Philadelphia and Washington are
Saturday Smiles.

Circumstantial Evidence-Edwin-Pve just
found a shot in my bit of the partridge.
AngeIina-How odd So have l. Poor thing
theyv had TO shoot it twice.-P1mch.
If Henry George had ever been compelled to
get his living by growing potatoes on piece of
scrub oak land, his new land theory would
never have been invented.-P'tit0delph phia Times.
Delinquent Subscriber Ito country editor)-
| "W by is your paper referred TO as patent in
Side?" Editor (giOOmily l.-''1t doesn't refer to
the paper: it refers to me.' Delinquent Sub
scriber.-"Youe' Editor-"Yes. II 1 hadn't a
patent inside I'd starve to death.'' Puck.
Freedom of the American Citizen.-Wife-
LETS go down and see Liberty tOday?" Hus-
band-"NO don't want to- Wife-"You don't
want to see that grand emblem of the nine
| teenth century that signalizes the time when
Hus6andI"No-5 WifeN"WelI. if You don't 60
down there with me to-day, there'il be trouble
in this household, that's all.'-Iid-Bits.
Gilhooly's Friend.-Gilhooly, intending to bor-
row SO from Hostetter McGinnis leads up to
the subject by talking about friendship. Among
other things he said: solomon says, 'He who
| has friend has found a treasure" McGinnis,
who is no fool, perceives what G!lhOOly is after
| and heads him Off by replying: II think Solo
mon got that proverb upside down. Instead of
| il should be, He who finds treasure has a
| friend There is no friend like money. IL is
mans best friend, and he should never part
that he is whistling up the wrong tube, moves
| off to explore some more promising field
| 1eIos Syt,ngs.
! y tug is the only thing that has its toWs be-
! hind.-.T. iGM Herald.
| "What is filling our insane asylumsc" asks
patent medicine advertisement. Well, there
| are 10000 brass bands in this country at the
present time, and the Dumber is rapidly in
creasing. If this is not the right answer we
have another.-NOrrtstoUn Herald.
! The degree that Harvard conferred on Prince
! ton seems to be somewhere about go below
zero, Fahrenheit.-Chicago NeWs
A wri,er TO a Baltimore paper tells "How to
! Make POultice." How to wear one and look
stylish is the greater rconundrum.-NewO Orleans
! PtcdyuRe.
The cartwheel dollar is a blessing after all.
| the las: express robbers left ali the bags of
! silver behind-carrying them being evidently
too much ike Work--Onuhd World.
! ''Ive been on this road ten years." said the
conductor on a southern railroad TO passenger
who colnplained OF the slow time, San L know
what I'm talking about" Zen years, eh?'
| said the passenger. Nv hat station did you get
ON at:'-Hd1-pers BdzdT.
Why do always talk about putting on a
coat and vest? Vino puts ON a coat before the
vest? We also say shoes and stockings.
| hats the matter with us, anyhOw?-Phita-
dejpitid Cal.
Fish is good brain food, but it does seem
pity, IN some cases, to waste so much fish,-S.
! d(CdnS Messenger.
| Do not think Yourself smart nv SON when
you have succeeded i'll deceiving your mother
| Your mother wants TO believe every thing good
| and nothing bad OF her son; therefore there is
| nobody you can fool easily as her-except
yourself, except yourself, except yourself.-Bos-
| tor Transcript.
Nothing is denied we'll directed labor and
notnlng Is attained Without it-eXcept poverty.
-ItOcheSter Union.
Mrs. Mushroom-Melnda, now that Mrs Dec
Virgins has gone, let me tell you again never
10 make any allusion to pas packing business
| before company.
Melinda ny, ma, 1 didn't say anything
about pork.
Mrs. Mushroom-No; but you spoke about
having sly on your eye, and it mortified me
terrIbiy.-Rdiatter.
Fogg-"Do you notice those two obugs crawling
over the butter?' Landiady-"C CerlaipIy. do
you know WHICH one you resembe?' Fogg-
well, no.. Landlady (chiilingly)-"The one
that is behind. .'-Arkansu0 1fdreieT.
A great scarcity OF the very small coins is
reported. We are afraid the heather have got
al the very small coins by this time Bartiag-
| An exchange observes, 1--WE owe much to
foreigners, from which we infer that the edi Tor
has not paid MS hired girl-Ne,o Haren Nears.
| III II related that Mr.. Hamilton Diston had a
church in his neighborhood in Ph.Iade,phia ia
which he was interested, completely renovated
| siad reGecorated at his own personal expensa
and one day, with pardonabie pride, showing
an IrTeverenL but enthusiastic friend throug II
the sanctuary, the latter III mis- adm iraton ex-
Wet, this beats h-l!' Quickly recovering
himself Mr. Diston quietly observed: "Weil,
that IS what churches are built for.'
Among the hundred best books the pocket
book ranks first IL IL is sufficiently robust,
there Will be no difficulty in selecting the other
ninety -fhlddeiphid Cuu.
The latest horse Car amenity is, "Here's seat
MTs- Lady,! l. is apparently useless trying TO
eliminate lad, as "a iorm OF address from the
. \
a new horror to ii in ears polite.-Boston Her.
att.
Ford mother-"He does look like his father
doesn't he?" Mr. B.-"Ies; but l shouldn't
mind that as long as he is healthy."-Lye.
Inqaisitive party-"And do you go up that
ladder all day long?"
Pat-"No, sur; naf ov the tonne OF cum
down."
Ihey now stuff turkeys with ehestnuts. We
presume this is in the line OF economy, for we
can think oi nothing so plentiful or SO cheap as
chestuuts.-BoStoa Transcript
Science says body weighing hundred
| pounds on the earth would weigh two tons on
The planet Jupiter. The planet Jupiter must be
| The place where the average fisherman catches
: | ns nSh.-Iai-Lits.
} something you wanted. madame.' he
| queTied. as she was going out OF The store.
w ny, came IN for Il par OF shoes, and I've
| waited twenty minutes and no one has come
! near me. I've got tired "Wait just one min.
ute.' he whispered. 1--WE spent twenty III ye
minutes witt, this lady with the big feet, but /,
| won't take five 10 fit your little No. rs with
something NICE Although she wore 5's She
smiled and sat down 10 wat-DefroH Free {,resx
------=---- >O~----
Ethan Allen Maynard, MoonviIle, Madison
: | county, Ind. shot and killed his neighbor W m
ii. Biddie, and then committed suicide. MAY.
] nafd had seduced Biddles wife.