davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03
Dudes VS.. Progressive Euchre

Dudes VS.. Progressive Euchre.
Progressive euchre. like the roller
skating craze, is dying out, mourn
fully remarked prominent expert
PLAYER to a NeW York Nal and Express
reporter at is scientific game, too,
and requires brains. May be that is
why it is not SO popular now. think
the extreme snobb.sh dude clcmcn,
helped to crush its popularity. They
couldn't understand the game and
voted it stupid. Young ladies. as Z
rule, play better than the men. lis
true some extreme orthodox people OBJ
jccted to PLAYING for prizes. but don't
think that had any effect in dampening
the ardor of its devotces. Why. those
euchre tournaments are rs exciting and
interesting as baseball. and brains are
at no discount. A tournament FIRE.
quently lasts n week. and during that
period eight or ten engagements &c
marry may be brought about by bring
ing together spectators. The ide;
that progressive euchre can make gam
blers out of the young men is prepos
ferrous. There is no special luck and
no incentive TO bring about such n re
suit Anything that trains the mint
and teaches it to reason and remember
is not harmful. Progressive cuchrS
should be encouraged by all means
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03
lrowns Little Ioke.

why, Brown. how short your coat is, 4"
said Jones one day To his friend Brown
long enough before get another Some
men spend 50 much for medicine that
neither heal nor help them, that new
clothes is with them like angles visits
few and far between. Internal fevers,
weakness Of the lung,, shortne,s Of breath
and lingering coughs, soon yield TO the
magic influence Of that royal remedy, DR..
Il. Y. Pierces Golden Medical Dis
e.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03
$500 Reward.

The former proprietor of Dr. Sage s
Catarrh Remedy, for years made a stand
ing, public offer in all American news
papers of $500 reward for a case OF catarrh
that he could not cure The present pro
prletors have renewed this offer. All the
druggists sell this Remedy. together with
the 'Douchc,n and all other appliances
advised TO be used in connection with IL
No catarrh patient is longer able TO say u
cannot be cured" You get 500 i'll case OF
failure
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Parson Downs says he is surrounded
by vipers. That just like viper;
never cares a cent who it goes with. It's
a wonder viper has any kind of repu-
tation left, It's SO wickedly careless
Burdettc.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03
Ho Was Thankful.

New York Graphic: Hostess: Now
let us sit down to dinner. Host; Is
there a clergyman present. Hostess
(glancing around): No, not one. Host;
We'll. let us thank God.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Functional arrangement OF the female
system is quickly cured 10y the use OF DR..
K. V. Pierce's "Fayorite Prescription" IL
removes pain and restores health and
strength. BY all druggists.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Carriers Little Liver Pills may well be
termed "Perfection.' Their gentle action
and good effect on the system, really
make them n perfect little pill. They
please those who use them.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

3months' treatment for SOC. Piso's Rem
edy for Catarrh. Sold by druggists.
Princess Dolgorouki widow Of the late
Car, was once IA Spanish actress.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

There are some men so violently op.
posed TO capital punishment that they
won't hang wall paper. They let their
wives do it.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

The publisher Of weekly paper in a
small town who thinks he discovers q
"crying need of a daily, is apt to find
need of crying if he starts one.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Grandslr Merrill was an old-time
saint wto always BACKED his boots
Saturday night, and if he found Sab
bath morning that he had little too
much gloss on them for christian, he
carefully removed some of the shine
before going to meeting.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Lieut.. Israel, the African traveller, ha:
been arrested at Hamburg for fraud.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Prof VIM. Scherer- the German his
tosian and author. is dead.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

PERRY DAVIS PAIN KILLER is an excellent
regulator of the stomach and bowels, and
should always be kept on hand, especially
at this season OF the year, when 50 many
suffer from bowel complaints. There is
nothing SO quick TO relieve i'll attacks OF
cholera.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

II your Digesti"nIs Poor. Improve 1t
Byuslng Carriers Little Nerve Pills. - cents.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

The color produced by buckingham
Dye for the Whiskers, is permanent and
natural.
To promote digestion. TO keep the body
healthy and the mind clear, take Aver
IillS
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Cordurctte has corduroy stripes, with zig
gag lines between. AS it il Of Gotten, 1t washes
veil
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

WIEN getting your boot or shoe straishtened use
Lyons Heel StiTencrs; they money, give
comfort and keep them straight.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Queen Victoria sent a beautiful floral
tribute To be placed on Lists tomb.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Iro" ter t"" .i;Iood, sleep for the Nerves
strength Tor the body, by using CARRIERS IRON
pIIIS
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

Grant in Peace is the title of Sc
rics OF articles that are being published
in newspaper. Why cannot the great
general be left to rest in peace?
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

In Wheatland, Cal, the Chinese have
five guards on duty every night.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-09-03

PATENTS obtained by Louis Dagger 4 Co, At
torueys Washington. l.. C. Esd 1864. Advic, free.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

When the Wisconsin Central road was
building its line TO Chicago, in passing
through one of the small Wisconsin towns
the tracks were laid directly behind Metho-
dist church. The Methodists grumbled. but
took no definite action in the matter until
tank was built so close to the church as 10
keep the light from the windows. Then they
drew up petition setting forth the damage
that had been done, and requesting 500 with
which TO remove the church. The president
o. the road was himself a Baptist, but he
was sorry for the MethodistS, and when he
received the petition he thought he would see
IL he could do something for them In con
sequence he forwarded the petition to F. n.
Finney, with the request that he look into
the matter and see what could be done. A
few days later be was startled by having the
petition returned to him with the following
suggestions indorsed upon the back: They
had better sell out to the Baptists, and they
can use our tank. Chicago Mail.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

This last remark conveys 10 the reader the
presence Of light, joyous feeling which is
wholly assumed on my part
The door of our room is full Of holes where
ioch have been wrenched off in oI der to let
the coroner in Last night could imagine
that was in the act Of meeting, personally,
q The famous people who have tried to sleep
: here and who moaned through the night and
who died while waiting for the dawn
The chambermaid is very versatile, and
vAits on the table while not engaged in agi-
tAting the overworked mattresses and puny
pillows upstairs. In this way she imparts the
odor Of fried pork to the pillow cases and
kerosene 70 the pie.
She has a wild, nervous and apprehensive
hook in her eye as though she feared that
some herculean guest might seize her in his
grsat, strong arms and bear her away to a
Justice of the peace and marry her. She Ger
tainly cannot fully realize how thoroughly
secure she is from such a calamity She is
just as safe as she was forty years ago, when
sbe promised her aged mother that she would
never elope with any one.
Still she is sociable at times and converses
freely with me at table, as she leans over my
shoulder, pensively brushing the crumbs into
my lap with a gene raj utility towel, which
sccompanies her in her various rambles
through the house, and she asks which We
would rather have-"tea or eggsFr
This afternoon we will pay our bill, IN &C
cordanoe with lifelong custom Of ours, and
70 away 10 pcrmcate the busy haunts of men
It viii be sad TO tear ourselves away from the
Fifth Avenue hotel at this place; still, there
Is no great loss without some small gain, and
at sur next hotel we may not have TO chop
our own wood and bring it up stairs when
We want to rest. The landlord of a hotel
who goes away TO a political meeting and
leaves his guests TO chop their own wood, and
then charges them full price for the rent of a
boisserous and tempeSt-tossed bed will never
endeer himself TO thoss with whom be is
thrown in contact
. We leave at 80 this afternoon, hoping that
tho two railroads may continue to fork here
Just the same as though we had remained
Bill Sye in Boston Globe
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

In the days when the Rev Robert Collyer
occupied the pulpit at Unity church his SOC
Sam was, of course, regular attendant a.
the services. II. G. Withrow, a son Of Thoma.
F. Withrow, the lawyer, used to pass the col
lection bOx-"cosn pepper, he called it Hal
was fond of a joke, and one Sunday he saw a
chance to perpetrate one on Sam. Sam had
been quite attentive to young lady, and had
at last mustered up sufficient courage to bring
her to church. When the collection plate
came around he reached in his pocket, pulled
out a nickel, and, with considerable eclat,
dropped it in the box. Hal drew back the
plate, fished out the nickel, and, handing it
back, whispered:
Il can't make the change to-day, Sam You
should see to that yourself before coming to
church. Chicago Mail
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07
NYE ON HIS TRAVELS.
He Describes a HostrIry Called the
Firth Avenue Hotel.


Fifth Avenue Hotel
an writing this at an imitation hotel
where the roads fork. | will call it the
Fifth Avenue hotel because the hotel at a
railroad junction is generally called the Fifth
Avenue, or the Gem City house, or the Palace
p hotel. stopped at an inn some years sill CO
called the Palace, and can truly say th ii
il bad ever been palace it was very much
run down when visited it.
Just as the fond parent Of a white-eyed,
swo-legged freak Of nature loves TO name
his mentally diluted son Napoleon, and for
the same reason that a prominent horse
owner in Illinois last year socked my name
on q tall, buckskin-cOlored colt that did not
resemble me, intellectually or physically. II
colt that did not know enough to 90 around
q barbed wire fence, but sought to sift him
self through it into an untimely grave, SO
this man has named his sway backed wiswam
the Fifth Avenue hotel
1t is different from the Fifth Avenue in
many ways In the first place there is not 50
much travel and business in its neighbor-
hood. As l said before, this is where two
railroads fork. In fact that is the leading
industry here. The growth of the town Is
naturally slow, but it is a healthy growth.
There Is nothing in the nature of dangerous
or wildcat speculation in the advancement of
this place, and while there has been no no
siceahls or rapid advance in the principal
business, there has been no falling OFF at all,
and these roads are forking much to-day
as they did before the war, while the same
three men who were present for the first
glad moment are still here to witness its
operation
Sometimes a train is dersiled. as the papers
call it, and two or three people have to re
main over, as we did all night 1t is at such
q time that the Fifth Avenue hotel is the scene
OF great excitement A large Goldfish, with n
broad and sunny smile and his bosom full of
rock salt, is tied in the creek to freshen and
;t himself fo- the responsible position of floor
manager of the Goldfish ball.
A pale chambermaid, wearing black jer-
ssy with large pores in it through which she
b gently percolating, now goes joyously up
the stairs TO make the little postofiice lock
box rooms look ten times worse than they
ever did before She warbleS a low refrain
as she nhnbly knocks loose the venerable
dust Of centuries and sets il afioat through
out the rooms. All is hustle about the house.
Especially the chambernaid. We were put
in the guests chamber here. 1t has an
atrophied bed made up of pains and counter
panes.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07
DEATH.

o Death, the Consecrator'
Nothing so sanctifes . name
As to oe written-dcad;
Nothing so wins life from blame
So covers II from wrath and shame
As does the burial bed,
o Death. the Revelator,
Our deepest Passions never move
Till thou hast bid them wake;
We know not half how much We love
TIL all below and all above
l. shrouded for our sake.
y Death, the great Peacemaher'
If enmity have come between
Theirs uaught like Death to heal 1t;
And il We love-O priceless pain.
. bitter-sweet when love is vain
There's naught like Death to seal IT,
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

The small boy was regaling visitor with
the family album.
@Who is this oneir asked the victim, as he
began the Photographic volume.
~Oh, that's gramp', an here's gram rite
acrost the leaf
1And this pretty ladyr
That chromo's Ant Suke; she's terror
An that fel that looks as ef he didn't know
beans is nunkey"
-Who are the two taken togetherl"
That's pop an mann, only they amt fitin'
there"
@And this sweet child"
That's me when l was kid. An that's
pops first wife what dide; and that's another
nunky. Say, he don't look like a bird, does
hel Pop says he's a real old gallus bird; an
this
The entrance Of the family prevented fur
ther disclosures.-Detroit Free Press
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07
Paid To the Actors.

Before Henry f. Abbey went back IL
England he gave these figures from his
books TO indicate 10 what extent Ameri-
can people have paid to see celebrated
actors under his management: Bernhardt,
IN 1891, 1896, 247: Booth. in SIG, $3.50.
O0O; Patti, 'S1-2, 1896, ,S90 Nilsson,
1928 ,$20s, 300; Langtry, 'S2-3. 1888. 500:
Irving, 1874, $405, ,G39; Irving. 'S+5.
$500 900; Mary Anderson, $50. 1854
$40, total in six seasons, s., SOS. .534. OF
course Patti and Nilsson sang compare
lively few times, and the season of Bern
hardt, Booth, Langtry, and Irving were
short. Even allowing the usual leeway
most managers estimate require it
the sum total is significant.-New York
6e~
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

Young Smallweed docking over the photo
graphsD-Who is this homely looking baby,
Miss Dashawayi
Miss Doh, that is picture of myself at
the age of . years.
Young Smallweed-Ah! Well, you know,
the homely babies always grow to be pretty,
and vice versa
Miss D.-Yes: but that photograph is not
at all like me. was very pretty child.
And then what can lie say0-Lifs.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07
THE TALE OF LIFE.

Man b 10 day what man was yesterday
VIII be tomorrow; let him curse or pray,
Drink or be dull be learns not nor shall learn
Tue lesson that viii laugh the world away
The word as gray or Just as golden shines,
The wine as sweet or just as bitter flows.
For you as me; and you, like me- may find
Perfume or canker in the reddest rose.
The tale Of life Is hard 10 understand:
But while the cup waits ready to your hand
Drink and declare the summer ruses blow
As red in London as in SamarCand
Lips are as sweet TO kiss and ewes as bright
As ever flattered Omar with delight:
English or Persian, while the mouth is fair
What can ii matter how it says good night,
Justin A Mccarthy
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

MORE THAN He COULD STAND.
Polite Passenger lin street carl-WIl you
take tnls seat, maC'amf
Msuan-lhank-
fohte fassenser-fray don't, madam. I'm
suoJecb 10 nus
HARD TO MAKE A LIVING.
Il find it very hard, SIR said the butcher,
as he weighed his left arm and a couple Of
pounds Of steak for a customer, ito make any
profit in my business"
~Hows thatF
Because l have to keep so much dead
stock on hand"
WHAT SHE'LL MAKE OF HIM
4.L NJ ro.,r,.;,,- 80
FlnmIsv n.tt;nq ,hs I.nd,sdu;s @ ' 90 ~ ' ,La
head what do Won intend r,skir1 ~
him,
aWelI 7 tbink If n,king ,oI;car,a,, ~
him He never can be found when he.
wanted
TERRIBLE MsSosER.
pa said a little east side. Harlem boy.
@why do they call the building we live in a
French fatf'
Because, my boy" replied the old man, as
he stepped out into the street to take his over
coat off, because there is nothing like it in
all France.
SOME PRIDE LEFT.
%How's them peasr she asked.
The peas are very nice, madam" replied
the tramp, with his mouth full; "but wish
you would give me four-tined fork instead
Of this spoon to eat them with / may be q
tramp now" +" he added bitterly, "but I've seen
better days
SOME GOOD ADVICE
Tramp-Piease gimme ten cents, siri
Gentleman-Why, / gave you ten cents an
hour ago.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07
An Evident Lack of Confidence.

GentIeman-There you are, Uncle Rastus.
You just hand that order to Mr. Smith and
he will pay you the money.
Uncle Rastus scanning the orierl-Am dis
. verbul order, sab!
Gentleman-No. II l gave you verbal
order be wouldn't pay 1t
Uncle Rastus trelieved)-Yas dat's 'zactly
wot Mistr Sniff sayed- He sayed eff l
brought verbul order dat be wudden't paw
IL. reckon he hain't got much confidence
m yo', sah--Grip
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

To the reg1Hs doicn He took the lady
beiotr.' straight away
To the depths of the ocean blue,
And whatever became OF that beautiful dame
There is nobody ever knew.
There are some folks say on the lst OF May
She is seen with glass in her hand.
And that she was sold To the norman bold
Who came to the desolate strand.
But every night when the moon shines bright
The ghost Of the lady is seen,
Ali dressed at her need in an ulster of weed
And her hair is a bright sra green
And the ghost Of a great big sardine box
Comes stalking along the shore,
And the ghost of little sarJline fish
Goes rollicking on before.
And the fishermen hear the sound Of knockz
And, open this box for me,
Cause love sardines when they're boiled With
beans,
And mixed with the sanis of the sea-
MORAL
Now, ladies all both short and tail,
Who love TO eat sarlines,
II you ever take any, don't let t be many,
And never with sand and beans
w. d. Scott -Aoncrieff in Harper's Magazine.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07
EASY LESSONS IN Art.
Br,sh Work should lie Studied While
Ready Mixed Paint Is Cheap.

Next to humping piano and being able
tosDeak twenty -onc different words in French,
every young lady should know how to draw
and paint. Nothing makes house look more
homelike than 80 elegant oil paintings hung
on the walls While the art of painting fur
nishes more or les amusement, it can be
turned to a source OF profit at any time. The
tea stores will always pay 50 a hundred for
works of merit. and leading citizens are ever
ready 10 catch up anything which is sold by
the yard at a bargain.
Ii is a mistake Ia suppose that one must be
born an artist All that is ne.gled TO draw
good picture is lead pencil and room at the
kitchen table to work You don't even have
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

bollnS on the green, and IN transferring him
TO dinner plate great care should be taken
not TO change his position, which is every
thing in a rabbit. The same picture, if one
iesires TO kill two birds with one stone, can
be turned upside down and called The Dying
Gladiator. A Raphael in Detroit Free
PnsSS
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

only IS years old. Her teacher, who has been
giving her lessons for the last seventeen years
says that she is natural artist The picture
was painted IN three different colors-green,
black AMI Carmine-and the effect was grand.
When the light Of kerosene lamp is flung
upon il at just the right angle it would be
taken for a Rubens
In painting picture care should be taken
not TO inscribe the title on the canvas. In
case this is done it VIII have 10 pass for one
thing alone. II the title is left OFF it can rep
resent dozen different things.
The rage for plaque and plate painting still
continues. One can buy a set of white china
dinner plates on Monday and have them all
ready for the table 10y Wednesday, if desired
The first thing is to give them couple Of
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

family has rabbit
for dinner Cnce in
about fifteen years.
Many amateurs ere
bothered 10 find a
good engraving Of
the cunning little,
animal, and WI
therefore append
one He is sup
posed 10 be gam
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

The passage of the steamer Alameda
from Auckland TO San Francisco in
twenty-throe days and six hours reduces
the time Ct the trip around the world TO
sixty-nins days,
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

Ia press il with "A
hot hatiron when
completed. We
hereby append a
sample of etching
produced by a
young lady who
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

nc Ht'Ft uAdt sue - yOt ~ wy
The sound Of her voice was sweet To tear,
And was waited DER many q wave,
Til at last it fell. like q siren spell
On the heart Of a norman brave.
He listened awhile. then smiled smiIe
As h. booked at himself in the glass,
Then dressed with speed in an ulster Of weed
And trUwsrrs Of taHgie AMI grass.
He went to the place whera the lady gang,
And h. hearI what she'd got to say;
She told him the dish was sarlins fish,
But he bolted clean away.
For his brother in law was Of kin TO a skate:
The skate was Of high degree,
And every one knew It was prrfectly true
Sardnes the cousins of he.
With terrible frown he dived straight down
To the depths of the ocean green;
His trUwsers he tore and h;T ulster ard SwOre
They would never again be seen.
But the lady sang. as she sang before:
Just open this box for me-
For l love sarJiines when they're boiled with
beans,
And mixed with the sands Of the sea"
She sang this samr hut as nobody came,
She thought 1t as well TO try.
So down on the rocks She hammered the box,
And then she began TO cry:
"Oh, love sardines when they're boiled with
beans
And mixed with the sands of the SEA
l am dying for some. VIII nobody come
And open this box sor mey''
Vow all alone close under stone.
lobster was lying asleep:
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

had taken but forty-eight lessons. 1t is en-
titled A Scene i'll the Alps" and has received
the unstinted praise of scores of critics. The
idea of becoming an etchiSt was suggested To
the young lady by her mother, who realized
that she might marry man earning s. or
$40 week and would see the need of those
things.
1t is just As easy TO paint aS to draw or etch.
Brushes can b. had for from five cents up To
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

Wife-John, dear, shall we get light or
heavy tombstone to place on mothers gravel
Husband with suspicious emphasis)-
Heavy New York Sun.
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

coals Of sky blue or
bright red paint for a
ground, and then
decorate them with
game, birds or fish.
This picture of a
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

golden eagle Is the work of a young miss of
"A summers, who took up painting simply to
amuse herself while her mother was splitting
the wood and doing the washing. She was
offered $50 each for the plates when finished,
but Indignantly spurned the offer.
a rabbit is favorite picture for decorating
dinner sets, principally because the average
Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, 1886-11-07

81, and read V
mixed paint is only
g a gallon. This
picture i entitled.
a storm at Sea,
and was drawn AMI
painted by a girl