Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1886-12-04

| Her Husbsnd ON Election Dey and Nsghe
| From the Detroit Free Press.
Know Bowser He's my husband. Doean'
know enough 10 come In when 10 rains
he did he'd stay out and get soaking wet jus
to oblige his political party. Bowser In pass
ably domestic and Intelligent except at elec
tion time About q week before election hi
begins to act up. lie saddles the party on hi,
back and begins TO grow thin and pale and
nervous His mind Is filed with msjorities
straights, splits, slips, cansrds and candi
dates.
1 give him Hail Columbia have even
kept him awake all night talking to him
but II does little or no good. The old crank
Ia figuring out net gain OF l2S In the Fourth
precinct OF the Sixth ward all the time I'm
talking, and when forced by exhaustion TO
stop for moment he looks at me with glis.
tening eyes, reaches out his paw and yells
EN-"
The closer II gets TO election day the more
OF an idiot he becomes Strange men come
to the house, and he takes them out into the
which they nod and gesture and chuckle and
shake paws. He Is called out Of bed 10 stand
on the front step and mutter aud mum mble
with strangers, who may be midnight asAas-
sins for all 1 know. I wish they were.
wish they'd hit him with sand. bag and rem
der him unconscious until after election. lie
slips out nights without asking my dvice or
consent, and along toward midnight, after
got the whole police force looking for him.
be comes snesking in and confidently whis-
pers " Say, Hammer, it's all fixed to run Bill.
ker In the Seventh ward, aud his election
line %
/" You old idiot what do care about
Bilker or your grand victory ~ 1 yell at
Sh Don't talk so loud, or the opposition
will get on to our racket"
And the way he and the rest Of 'em write
communications to the papers signed "Pro
and Taxpayer Is perfectly awful I've
known Bowser TO sit down and write whole
yard OF stun, claiming to know exactly what
hlied tue country, and furnishing q political
panaces Tor II, sign IL TRUTH and send it
OIL 70 appear next morning In print and scare
half the country to death. Bowser know
what ails the country Why, he doesn't
know wart from stone bruise
1t Is on election day that his vivid foolish.
ness glares like an electric light He gets up
hall an hour earlier, gulps down q hasty
break last and rushes of to peddle tickets
and challenge votes, and see to bringing out
the full vote. He doesn't GO though, before
! nave said to hun Bowser, you are a fiat
footed idiot You turn With crank You
ought to be turned out with kangaroos
You"
Well make the majority 1000 all around
ana bury the opposition out OF sight " he
exclaims looking at me In such a dreadful
way that feel shivers race up and down my
spine.
At noon I hear that he has bet our house
and lot on his favorite candidate. At 3
o'clock that he has been pounded all to a
Jelly. At that he has also bet our horse,
COW, the baby and the cook stove on majori-
ties. At . that he has offered to bet me
against Slj overcoat At 10 that he has gone
TO political headquarters to stay a week, and
when some one asked after my health he re-
piled I" urs' rate-tuff's ole rhinoceros an
twice's ugly !" " Rab, fur Zheneral Zhack.
son ~
At midnight kick his Sunday plug hat
cross the floor, fling his slippers out doors
and smash his pipe and go TO bed. I'll settle
with Mr.. Bowser when he comes home, and
II blood IL then split law must hold me
At noon next day he comes
home in hack, hat smashed, pockets inside
out, coat tails torn off, and $50 suit of clothes
completely gone. His hat is on the back OF
his head, his eyes bloodshot, and beer stains
all over his vest. l arm myself to slaughter
him, and he begins to cry and protest
' Shay, Hammer, go light on Ter feller Hull
ticket got cleaned out by 3, COO majority, au'
I've come home ter die ~