Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-23
BRIGHT BITS.

PRIDE Of ancestry is frequently, q, little
n1pe parj1ae " grappdfalhers than it is to
A SABLE CITIzES OF Texas made bet that
ne could eat hfty watermelons in fifty hours.
| lie stalled on The thirty-seventh. They in
scrloed on his coffin, "Aet 81. y eSds SiftingS.
IT IS related of popular clergyman that
ne started a dull praying meeting recently by
announcing that he didn't propose to act as
umpire for sleeping match. ''-BG6dto Chris
ttdn Advocate.
| 1T is said that there are 10000 families In
Chicago without copy of the Bible The
number without a copy Of a paper containing
the latest base ball news is much less. so the
suffering is not so great as might be supposed
-Nsrristoao9 Herald.
something"
eyes. My affairs are in bad condition"
Your creditors are bothering your'
1.-THE old ones? No. 1t is the difficulty OF
getting any more in tho future that is troub-
ling me."-Ftench Vat
THE Pleasures of the Chase For heavens
sake. Judge. how you do look!
Judge Gall bandagedJ-Isnt it too bad
afrofessorY Twice have been shot at, and
nnally my gun burst. Indeed if it were not
for my health. ten horses would not drag me
to the hunting ground.-- F5iegende BIatteT.
JACOB" said an Ohio farmer to his hired
man the other day, II see that some of the
THAT is you want me to work twenty-four
hours right along without a stop?''
"Well, Jacob. that's the idea, but being it's
might take out ten minits for each meal and
make 1t up on Sundays" -,y1tdge.
''SPEoULAToa"-Your estimates are badly
out of line. You might build q cottage for
the amount you mention. but no living man
can build summer hotel that will arcommo-
date 500 guests for $3.50. We have seen hotels
OF that capacity in thB mountains that cost at
least $500, exclusive of1the piazzas. II you
wide swathe while you are at itP Take
$500 and build a monster mammoth masto-
don -BroOklEn Eagle.
IN the Maiden Mass high school. not
long ago, the Principal asked the class in
rhetoric to clear the following sentence of
metaphor: 1.-The sanctity of the lawn should
be preserved" The class SET their wits to
work, but no one seemed wise. The Princi-
pal exclaimed: "Can no one answer the ques-
tion" A bright lad OF Is threw up his hand,
well, Master s., you seem to be The only one
IN the class to answer. What is it?n Amid
the grass"-EschanGe.
RUTHERFORD" said Mrs. Hayes. "We
ought to remember Mr.. Cleveland on his
| wedding day"
~ did remember him." replied the great
'You did! How much more thoughtful,
| send him?"
] i ocuI ilt'H buo uOIeu eR IS GnaJ Cne broken
| winged LeghOrn has been sitting on. THEY'RE
| good enough to scrambl -IadianaDoLis
| JDuo nat.
| PLEASE, sir. will you buy ticket for the
| Cedar Street church strawberry festival?
| They'r only 25 cents" said little mite of a
| girl to gentleman sitting on the piazza of a
| Swan street boarding house yesterday after
| noon, rendering him square of pasteboard as
| she spoke. Ppm sorry. but Pm going out of
| town and will not be able to attend" replied
the good natured man, DESTROYS OF avoiding
point-blank refusal. II have some Decent
tickets for those who can't attend" promptly
responded the quick witted solicitor. s he
went out OF the gate a dime richer.-Bu6alo
| Courier.
YES" said Miss Richladie. ''my daughter
! graduates next week"
II understand she is at the head of the
! class?"
NO. she SAID with some. sadness. "she will
not be the vaetudinarian,7 bat she will take
! the RtlutarY. and that's nearl as high"
| 1.-THE commencement exercises are to be
very Interestingly"
| 20. yes. The Rev. DIR. Grace viii preach
the bacchanalian sermon. the Rev. Mr.. Mortl-
mer will deliver the dilemmas. and there will
be other detractions too numerous TO men.
| tion."- Washington Critic.