Daily Republican., 1886-12-02

4 v
body that Mr.. Smith is q most agree
able gentleman. The baby grows
Ten years later you meet her. Sim.
possibleP' you exclaim; "such a grea,
girl, and only 10 yearsr' Not only
mother, but the great girl, is delighted
this time. Another ten year passes:
but now you have TO employ different
tactics, something like this: Twenty
yearsp Nonsense! you can't he more
than 16, If you are thatl" Funny? Yes;
and it all goes tn show that sauce for
the gosling is not necessarily the pro.
per sauce for the goose.
"How old wonld you take me to be,
MIR. Snooks9' she lisped, looking I'M
utterable things at him. II dunno, {"
he replied, twisting nervously about
in his chair. ''I'm awfulIy old, as
sure you. I've seen twenty. three
summersp' "Then you ought 10 wear
glasses" he replied earnestly why,
Mr. Shocks, glasses at twenty-threep'
Yes; your eyesight must be bad -
"Pm sure l don't know why YOU
should think So" she pouted. BE
cause I'm afraid about twenty sum-
mers have gone by you that you
haven't seem"
Realizing Its Importance. She was
to be married the next day, and as her
old father stToked her hair fondly, he
said: And do you think, my dear
that you have fully considered the i'm
portant step you are so soon to take?
do you feel that you are thoroughly
prepared for" "Oh, yes, papa"
she interrupted brightly; "everything
is prepared, and we've had two re-
bearsals, and George has promised to
buy me pair of ponies as soon as
ever we get back from our wedding
trip"
| Scene = Drawing room. Dramatis
persone-Young gentleman and lady,
and little miss of three summers
Young gentleman: "Alice, give me
at least some kind word. Can you
/ not sec that your cruelty is killing
me?" Young lady. Killing Jour
All, mol Men have died and worms
have eaten them, but not for love-"
Little miss: "If they don't love them,
what do they eat them for, auntie2'
Employer: II am very suspicious
of young men nowadays. You can't
tell how they are going to turn out.
| Why, in six months they know good
deal more about your business than
you do yourself, and want to manage
| il entirelyw Applicant for position:
IL can assure you, sir, that, if you will
engage me, will devote as little time
as possible to your business"
She had lovely foot, and her visi-I
tors were admiring 1t. They were
ladies, of course. A man who is not
shoemaker dares not mention such a
thing unless they are alone in dim
corner of the drawing-room, where
nobody else can overhear. "What a
beautiful foot you have, dear" "Yes.
Papa says when we go to Paris he'll
have bust of it made -
dearest Franz, if were 10 suppose
for moment that you were going TO
marry me for my money, should in
despair put an end to my wretched ex
istence." Franz: Calm yourself,
dearest. Let US get married as soon
as possible, and you shall see what ef-
forts I'll make to get rid of all your
money"
A Plea for Mercy Partisan who !
was deaf and dumb stood charged !
with murder. His counsel spoke for !!
two hours, and wound up his speech !
as follows lone word more, gentle |
men of the jury, My client is deaf by |
birth; he was therefore incapable of !
listening II the voice of conscience"
An lrishman applied to lady who
had taken house at Long Branch for =,
the summer for employment. "But,
my good man." replied the lady, 81
have brought my servants with me. |
have nothing for you to do" "Ah, :.
thin, ma'am, if we only knew how
little work it'd take to occupy me!' !
An aged colored man, fastening
home from church, was asked why he
was in such hurry. "Oh, nothln'
pertiklar, boss" was his answer;
only jess heerd at Conference dat
Sam Johnson's fell FIN grace. an l /
thought I'd get right home IS soon's l
could, an lock up my chickensl OATS
ALL"
Enfant Terrible (who had been ly-
ing in wait for the visitor: "Mr.
Borelong, are you going to stay till 10
o'clockY' Mr.. Borelong. "Why, +
would you like to have me?" Enfant
terrible: No; but pa said ne bet you
would, and ma thought you wouldn't
have the cheek"
They were sailing off Bay Ridge in
a little boat together and she said:
Are we running before the wind now,
Georger mo, my darling;;" said he;
'our boat is hugging the shore.'
"Ah," she exclaimed, "what beau {
tiful example you have here!" u
Love is described by the poet as
Two souls with but single thought" :.
May be; but after those two souls be- l
come linked together, they keep up a
deuce OF a thinking, Otherwise they
say something beside "birdie" and
''duckie."
"Have you heard Miss Simpson sing
since she returned from France?" I
Several times" "Do you think she /
mas improved?" "Very much, in >
ieed!' "In what particular, may l :.
,sk2" "Why, she does not sing near
10 much as she used TOT" |
''Do you remember how you sworc a
IN your Bonded knees the night you !
to me, lovee" "Oh, yes;
hats nothing" "Nothing!" "Youl
,ught 10 see me swear on my knees L
when my collar button drops and rolls 7
lnder the drawers" =
A girl fell overheard and her lover, L
Gaming over the side of the boat as she a
nsn 10 the snrEnnn said. tlGiun mn .