davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29
IT DIDN'T HURT.
A Dentist Proves That He Can Extract
Teeth Without Pain.

A Dentist Proves That He Can Extract
Teeth Without Pain.
Kosciuscko Murphy has been troubled
for some time with an aching tooth,
which at last became so annoying that
he kept the neighborhood for miles
around awake with his bowls. Then he
hunted up dentist who had out a sign:
''Teeth Extracted without Pain
The dentist tackled the molar, and
for q few minutes people in the vicin-
ity imagined that an amateur concert
rehearsal was being perpetrated in the
neighbOrhOod. Then there was a final
prolonged shrek of agony, and the smil-
ing dentist brandished aloft q tooth as
big as salt seller.
As soon as Murphy was able to take
his departure he handed the dentist a
fve-dollar bill. remarking, however, at
the same time:
II thought you pulled teeth without
pain?''
$50 do. Ididn't feel any pain worth
speaking Of" replied the dentist, a. he
placed the five-dollar bill in his pocksA
Texas SJtings.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29
NOT A DUMMY.
Couldn't Play any Wooden Women ON Hin
More than Once.

Couldn't Play any Wooden Women ON Hin
More than Once.
Every old Sacramentan will remem-
Der the French millinery firm of Mime.
Llanos & Co., and most of them-the
ladies. especially-can recall with equal
distinctness the smiling and imperturb-
able clerk of the fancy department
of the madame's establishment, Charley
Dexter. A young fellow from some
backwoods legion of Michigan, having
come to ''Californy" to seek his for
tune. called at Nine. Llanos' to see his
old schoolmate. Charley Dexter. In
those days it was the style in shops de-
voted to the sale of ladies' apparel to
have a number of waxen-faced lay fig
ures all temptingly arrayed for the dis
play of the latest novelties. 1t was 3
dull summer afternoon when Bill drop
ped in on his old acquaintance and
found that young gentleman listlessly
lolling over the counter, happily disen-
gagged. In the course of a reminiscent
conversation the country youth used
some expression that apparently Jared
on Charley's fastidious ear, for he eiac-
ulated hurriedly: '.'Sh!' at the same
time nodding mysteriously toward some
object over Bills shoulder The latter
turned, and to his shocked amazement
beheld a stately and Acknowledgment
lady, who must have overheard his I'M
lucky speech. Abashed and confused,
he hurriedly whispered:
''Great Scott! Charley, what shall
do?''
'.Do? Why, apologize at oncer' was
the peremptOry response.
Clearing his throat, and with tre-
mendous effort, the awkward and blush
ing offender began:
Madam, l beg"
Here Charley deity swung the figure
around, and poor Bill saw that the joke
was on him. Peace and conversation
were soon renewed. and, unperceived
by either, a lady quietly entered and
began examining some articles at the
sciOus visitor had clinched some state
ment with another lapse into profanity.
the Mortified Charley glanced up and
caught sight of the newcomer opposite.
His Ssh" and accompanying panto-
mime were genuine this time; but the
truculent Bill was not to be sold twice
by the same trick. Lifting his dust
covered ''stogy," he dealt a practical.
bucolic kick at the supposed milliner's
doll, at the same time shouting:
Cant play any more of your-wood-
EN- women on mer'
Fancy can but feebly picture his hor-
ror when lovely being fixed one terri
fled glance on the supposed mailman.
and then with wild shrek fled into
the inner sanctuary to seek protection
among the pretty milliner girls and
their presiding goddess. 1t was a ques-
ton of who was the most scared, for
the unhappy Bill shot through the front
door with equal celebrity and a settled
sorrow at his heart that nothing but the
joker's blood could assauge; the while
Charley dropped under the counter, and
rolled there in an agony of mingled
mirth and remOrse over an accident of
which he was the innocent yet guilty
Franciscan.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29
ARTIFICIAL FLOWERS.

Wonderful ReprOdu ctiOn of Natures Most
Beautiful G fits to Man.
Artificial flowers have not for years
been wholly out of fashion. During the
cold season artificial flowers are in great
demand. For several years the flower
manufacturers have been experimenting
in these productions in order to more
perfectly initiate nature. Until recently
the result has been satisfactory only
here and there. Now, however, really
wonderful copies are made in the man.
ufacture of artificial flowers. The rich
est and finest materials are employed
soft lightweight pushes and velvets,
delicate silks and pellucid-like tissues II
the daintiest construction. Chrysan-
themums are made of shaded velvet OF
an intensely brilliant crimson, deepen
ing at the base to a blood red; the To-
liage is of green shaded plush. Prim-
roses made of white satin are of exquisite
form. The light green velvet leaves are
deeply indented. The primroses, of a
rich crimson hue, have the eye of
bright yellow. The flower is very
beautiful and has been perfectly copied,
and looks very handsome in punches on
tho large capotes. The silk hollyhocks
are magnificent. There are the
pure white, scarlet, black and
yellow. These flowers, spike-like
in form, trim very effectively
the large flats, and are also used to
excellent advantage in decorating eve
ming dresses. Yellow and pink satin
primroses, punched with star-shaped
are made of rich velvet.
The deliciously fragrant heliOtrOpe, of
golden yellow tint, are made of fine
silk, and look so natural that the eye is
often deceived. Golden orchids are
massed with the spike-shaped Lupin
plant of the blue and red tints. The
beautifully shaded sweet peas, purple,
scarlet, striped and white, are all made
of soft silk. The heartsease, or pansy, is
initiated in shaded velvet;
the face-Ike centers give pretty effect,
combined with the dark foliage of the
scarlet poppy. Begonia leaves of velvet
and satin show exquisite blending of
tints. Buttercups of golden satin are
massed with morning glories of shaded
plush. The limitations in grasses are
very true. The field daisies and glow
ing carnations of crimped silk are exact
copies. Fern leaves of rich satin and
velvet jonquils are charming contrasts |
IN millinery trimming. Sheaves of
wheat are perfectly represented, and
many of the fancy grasses are admira-
BILE copies.-N y Telegram.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29
COUNTRY.LOvE.
Where Prince Bismarck Receives His
LOftiest Inspirations.

Where Prince Bismarck Receives His
LOftiest Inspirations.
Bismarck loves the country, though
most of his life has been passed il.
cities. "What 1 like best" he once
said, lis to be in well-greased top
boots. far away from civilization" 1t
is said that once, while at school in
Berlin, and walking in the suburbs, he
came across pillow. His homesickness.
expressed itself in tears. In one of his
earlier letters he wrote: II am quite
hOmcsick for country, woodside and
laziness. with the indispensable addi-
ton of loving wives and trim, we'll
behaved children" Phrenologists say
that one of the largest organs on Bis
marck's massive head is that which IN
dicates his love of children.
The German statesman is never so
happy, say his friends, rs when he is
gazing at q beautiful landscape, or
walking about his farm.
''Believe me, his wife once said, with
natural exaggeration, "a turnip inter-
estS him more than all your politics.
LIS AliChuS punt W LcuDdcn pOf.
trait of Bismarck, which hangs in the
National Gallery at Berlin, as the one
in which his features assume their no.
blest expression. 1--WE were engaged
in conversation, said Bismarck, de-
scribing how that expression was
caught by the artist, ''and happened
to look upwards at passing flight of
birds. Suddenly Lenbach exclaimed:
Hold hard! that will do, capitally,
keep quite still, and forthwith made
the sketch
The Chancellor, when at Varzin, his
country estate, banishes the cares of
state and becomes farmer and forester.
In ''well-greased boots" with staff in
hand, he wanders about the woods and
fields. noting nature and his farmers.
He takes lessons in practical political
economy from his tenants, and aues-
tons his laborers. The result is that
he is an evenly-balanced statesman,
and talks in Parliament about farming
and forestry with such good sense and
knowledge as to command the respect
OF practical men.-Youth's Companion.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
a QUEER LITTLE GIRL.

As queer a girl as ever was seen
Was little May Evelyn Caroline Green.
She sat a-wishing from morning till night
For every thing in. or out of, her sight.
When IL was morning she wished 1t was night,
Yet when it was evening nothing was right.
The same with the weather, it always was
wrong.
And wishing twas otherwise made up her
song.
Her small brother Ned, who thought Sister
May
Was silly to spend her time wishing all day.
Told nurse in confidence once after dinner.
That be was afraid SIZED a wish bone in her.
Mrs. Il. G. LaNdreJln, in Our Little Men and
H0Mcn
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29

An Alabama cotton gin manufac-
turer has shipped ten of the most inn
proved machines to Russia. They are
consigned to Moscow. and it is thought
that the Russian Government wants
them to experiment in cotton culture In
the Black Sea provinces
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29

The new Philadelphia directory
contains sixty-three ASKS, four Elms,
five Walnuts, eleven Pines, fifteen
Cherfys, thirteen Oaks, single Poplar.
four Chestnuts. and . single SPruce.-
philadelphia Press
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29

Dakota farmers are making plans
to grow fax for fuel this summer. Il
is said that a ton of fax straw is worth
more to burn than q ton of soft coal.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1886-04-29

Ono of Helen Hunt JacNsor,s mon.
uments is to be the Ramona. Indian
School Tor Girls at Santa Te,
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

The late statements concerning the
European wheat crop Indicate that
more than the usual amount of Ameri-
can wheat will be demanded this year,
and that with the present low prices in
this country the demand should be very
large. The crops of the current year in
the European wheat growing countries
are much Fellow those of last year, when
about 154, 000, 900 bushels American and
Indian wheat were required to make
up deficiencies.
Grea. Britain alone must import not
less than l6O 200, 900 bushels this year,
and France from 80, O00, 900 to 20 ,0OO, 600.
There will be less wheat exported
from India and Australia than last year
owing to decreased acreage and shorter
crops. Fortunately the United States
has an unusually large surplus this year
and will be able not only to supply
bread TO the hungry Europeans. but put
money in the national purse in doing so.
The receipts fol American breadstuifs
have been considerably greater for the
first thiee-quarters of the current year
than for the same period in 1889, and
the last quarter is almost certain to show
a greater increase in proportion, now
that the European crop situation Is
definitely known.
The most noticeable effect Of the COM
petition of American wheat in European
markets is found i'm the introduction by
the French Government Of a bill increas-
ing the duty on foreign wheat from 81.
to 81. The French wheat-growers are
urging the passage of the bill, not
because they hope TO shut out American
wheat, but because they expect the duty
10 result i'm giving them better prices
for the short crop of wheat in their
hands. They know the foreign wheat
must be had at some prices to prevent
starvation, but they find under present
circumstances, they will get no better
prices for half crop than fol- a full one
unless the duty is increased. An i'll
crease of duty in France and other Eu-
ropean countries may Ultimately affect
the sale of American wheat by inducing
European wbeat-growers who have
turned their attention to the cultivation
Of other crops to enlarge their wheat
acreage again. Such Il result cannot be
reachsd this year, however, and there
i. little doubt of good demand FOR
American wheat until the next Euro
pean harvest has been gathered.-Ph,t-
adelphia Times.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
TaIbOi's Long Head .

"The Lake Shore folks were awfully
glad wien a certain man died up In
Buffalo the other day." said conduc-
tor. sThe mans name was Talbot. About
twelve years ago Talbot saved train
from going into washout near his farm
and of course the company felt very
grateful. p. =. Wright, Superinten-
dent of the Buffalo division, sent for
him and loaded him with thanks for
himself and company. Talbot modestly
declined money present of $500, but
said he didn't object when Wright pro-
posed making out for him pass good
for the remainder of his life. While
Wright was writing out the the pass
Talbot inquired:
"'Say, Mr.. Wright, have you any
objections to making that read good for
me and friend? | may want to take Il
friend up to Cleveland with me some
time to see an uncle of mine.
Wright was so full Of gratitude that
he couldn't object to anything. and the
man got his pass, good for himself and
friend, and it was afterward sent on to
headquarters and eountersigned by the
President and general passenger agent
"Well, now, what do you think? For
more than ten years that man Talbot
has been riding constantly between
Buffalo and Chica go, Buffalo and Cleve-
land, or Buffalo and Toledo. He was
never alone. He always had "a friend
with him. The friend was usually
some commercial traveller. In short,
Talbot has made railroad riding his
regular business. He made arrange
ments with various wholesale and job
bling houses to carry their men, and
booked his engagements months ahead
sometimes. When these failed he pick
ed up stray passengers here and there
After paying his sleeping car and other
expenses he had Sc or IS day left as
clear profit, and out OF these profits he
managed to amass snug little fortune.
He tried to use his pass on the limited
express, but the company wouldn't have
it. In fact, they wanted to refu,e to
carry him altogether, but their lawyer
concluded that the suit for damages
would be too expensive. Talbot is dead
now, though, greatly to the regret of
several travelling men. Chicago Her.
aid.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

"Here is a book mentioned in this
paper entitled Hints on Husbandry,
said Miss Smiggle. II think I'll go
down town and buy me a copy"
Her brother, to whom the remark was
a addressed, smiled and said nothing.
That evening at the supper table he
inquired: "Did you get the book you
spoke of to day, Miranda?"
"Ye-es," was the somewhat reluctant
reply.
"And how did you enjoy it?"
swell, | reckon its good enough
book, but the title is kind o. disappoint-
in"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

what! boy Of your age Goesn't
know the parts of speech" said the
school teacher. "No'm," replied the
boy. "Haven't you ever heard of a
noun?" ooh, yes'm" "Well, what
comes next?" "Don't know" said the
boy. ga pronoun," replied the school
teacher. "Now please remember that.
Then there's the verb. Now what fol-
lows that?" GA proverb," was the
quick response.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

Ha5itual costiveness is the direct re
suit of habitual neglect. Keep the bow.
els regular by the proper use of DR..
Bulls Baltimore Pills. Price a5 cts.
Give Days Horse Powder to your
cows. Ii will improve the animals and
increase the flow of milk.
Do not stupefy your baby with opium
mixtures, but use DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup.
1t is safe.
It's all that's nice, Drexel's Bell Co.
logne.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
Western Maryland Hsil,,,.

Trains leave and arrive a, H,s.,,,
follows, on and after Sunday, Nov q ~ .
DEPARTURES.
For Baltimore. at SOFA m. l@cv,
pot) 2.i0. and $40 p. m. &C, Y. Her., w a
al lilo a. m, and i.o and 6.,j n IN .Ss,5.s
q. m. ~ y
For shippensburg. at 100 and ll6,
p. m. arriving SIS a. IN. and /. 10 all ~
For Williamsport AZ 500 a. m. laM 4 ~
p, m. ~"H
ARRIVALS.
From Baltimore, at eos a. m. lsh,s
500 p. m. =
From Shippensburg. at 900 A. N ID.
6.s y. m.
From Williamsport, at 500. Il.6a
40 and 6.55 p. m. ~
j. NJ. HOOD, General Man.,
Is. ii. GRIswoLD, Genl Ticket Agent
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

A clergyman's son, five years old,
worked perssveringly one day to make
three-legged stool, but, notwithstand-
ing his efforts. could not proceed to his
satisfaction. The stool would Tot stand
firm on its legs. Turning to his father,
he said: "Papa, does not God see every
thing" eyes, my son." "Then
guess He'll laugh when He sees this
STOOL"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
BuckIen'. Arnfca salve.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-.
lively cures piles, or no pay required
1t is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac-
ton, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box. For sale by j. G.. Gibson.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
Baltimore & Ohio Rail-c,:

The IL flowing ls the time Of trains s,s,.,,
at Shens ndoah Junction:
EAsr-BouND.
No. s.-Chicago and Pittsburg express /,
m.
No. ii6.-way Freight, passenger ca, ,,..
ed, 6.3 a. IN.
No. 66.-Baltimore and Piedmont aoro..
dalton, ll.9 al
No. 5i.-New Orleans Express, Sim
No. S.-Martinsbnrg accommodate =,
Washingt' n and baltimore E.,,,
5.2i p. m.
wEsT-DoUSp.
No. T5.-Baltimore. Mt. Airy and Martial,
accommodation. 5.9Am.
No. 65.-Baltlmore and Piedmont aooour
dalton, LISA m.
No. li5.-Way Freight, passenger car lial
ed, az y. m.
No. 7.-Pittsburg Express. lO.spn
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
Baby falls and bumps its head,
Baby bawls, they think it's dead,
Mamma gets st. Jacobs Oil,
Rubs the baby; stops turmoil.

"Now, Willie," said coaxing
mother, 81 Cont like to take medicine
any more than you do; but l just make
my mind to do it and then do it," The
child looked up through his tears, and
replied, "And mother, just make up
my mind that won't aud then DON'T
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

CANNED PUMPKIN.-Pies made Of cam
ned pumpkin may be thickened with
flour; use dessertspoonful of flour
and one egg for each medium sized pie.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

KATIE's JUMBLEs.-One cup Of butter,
one and one-quarter cups sugar, three
eggs, two tablespoonfuls sour milk, one
teaspoonful soda, -four to stiffen.
Sprinkle sugar on before baking. Cut
in rings or round cakes.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

T l.. RICHARD & SON have just received
u this week, Crinkle seersuckers, Percals,
Calicoes, Ginghams, Sheetings, Muslins: Bed
Ticking, Hamburg Edgings, Linen Edges
all at Hard Times prices. New supply of
Zephyr Worsteds, Working Silks and Ar
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

APPLE MERINGUE.-Prepare six large
tart apples for sauce. While hot put
ia piece of butter the size of an egg.
When cold add cup of cracker crumbs,
the yolks Of three eggs well beaten, a
cup of sweet milk or cream, a little salt,
nutmeg and sugar to taste. Bake in a
large plate, with an under crust of rich
paste and rim Of puff paste. When
done take the whites OF the eggs, half a
teacup of white sugar and few drops
of essence Of lemon; beat to stiff froth
pour over and put back into the oven to
brown lightly.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

A ny one desiring % pscs- Eqosios q .
"A portable heating fnf, ~ peics, -
nearly new. et ye5y "a ne -~xcE
sssssesssssassv'' "
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

GOOD AND CHEAP.-Paint Brushes, Var
" nish Brushes, Shoe Brushes, Stripping
Brushes, Sash Tools. Camelhair Pencils,
Sponges from one cent TO one dollar. Paints,
Oils, Narnishes Glass Putty. Now Is the
time TO get bargain in these goods.
BAKER & MCMURRAN.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
The Jefferson County hula''
FIRE INSURANCE wxTA''s

-
OFFERS 20 the people Of ys ,as Il IL ~,
Insurance in a safe com ,,aeb et<c
cost OF Insurance. which y mssstsspsy
than the rates usually charge, .,..s rs.gosf'
nnonev IL home. Good Risks i'''@
bic parties are invited. -. ~xery f'sf'
Executive Committee meee l.ser
DrKrcrogs-x. $. White. Henil ~ .
BORT Jss. Garland Hurt, John wm. { ~
ET Lewis. X. Preston Ches. 70 "a, -,
son Euaene Baker. 3. W: Ms- ~ In. ~
foaie thas. p. Wilson, John n 4 I strS,s
3. Melvin, Z. q. W. Herr, lsAae pr,.1s<
N. &. WHITE. .....''''''' .frsss-<
III. II. DAVENPORT :. ,rs,,s. =.
ExEcUrryr CoxxIrTEE7S: > n sisi<f ;
It. lewis. Eugene Baker, ls@s' -
p rnew s.. W. washington. rohu g. -
iocxI AGExTs-MIddlews MT: BE9,ss
lev: Kearneysyilie. J. 2: bhsri..esh =
~ chss. Z. Trail; shspn nssft: ON"
Fleming: Dufields. G. / Ba aasr.
Town Wellington 4 Alexsnocd Al Ne
SS-The secretary viii Ds ,t IT, Co1ftb~
p.ny,s Once. Gibson BuiIdinS
vard. In Charlestown. xpER. -
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

sRua daily. All Others DAILY eteept - 80,
Timetables giving time OF local ana - =
trains can be had on application 70 "
X. Agent at Shepberdstown: 5000,
J. r. BOYER, superinisno'''
H.A. RIDDLE, Genl Pas. Agent
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
NoRTHwARp.

q. HOWARD R0yrS
Gen. Pass. and Ties., a., ~
DAVID W. FLlCKWIR, Ase,l
{. NJ. FUTTERER, SunarSn,Nnoss V
Pass. Agent, Hagerstown. Ma "e's'
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05
FOR SALE.

~ T. HODGES has Ready Mixed Paints,
Oil Turpentine, Glass, all at lowest prices.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1886-11-05

rINHE undersigned has Just returned frcIn
i the city and completed opening an at:rac-
tive and complete strock Of goods, consisting
In to ~ NJ
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1886-08-24
Very Heavy Damage at seguin.

SEGUIN, TEX, August 23.--The dam
age by the storm here is very heavy.
The Record Office was totally des royed.
The new tower OF the Epitcopal church
was blown down, and a largs number
OF puolic and private buildings were
either destroyed or badly damaged.
Robert Jefferson, son OF Col John r.
Jefferson, WIS killed in Sutherland
Syringe, and Garland Smith and Rich.
ard Burger, son Of the Hon. w. III,
Burgess, were badly wounded. They
were camping at the springs and were
injured by falling trees. a pauper liv-
ing with John EngIsnd, aero the
river, died of fright during the storm.
The cotton plant has bsen whipped
into shred', but many persons believe
that it will take On new growth and
develop a top crop. The damage has
not yet been estimated, but will be
very heayy.