The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1886-02-10
BILL \ YE.
THE WESTERN HUMORIST UNs
BOSOMS HIMSELF.
In Washington Observation-Disclosures
Of Climate in the Northwest-A
Generous Baby-Fate Of
Practical Joker.

The following letter from Bill Nye ap-
pears in a recent issue of the Boston
Globe: I am just making tour over the
Northern Pacific railroad for few weeks
and lectnring for the benefit of cyclone
sufferer in whom take great interest.
On the 5th started out of St. Paul In
company with one of those rise-up- Wil-
liam Riley and come along-with me
billiards. We travelled together as far as
Bismarck, D. T. It was more or less that
way till got to Walla Walla, where the
barber who shaved me had to keep the
flies off my broad and desolate sweep of
brow with fan. Here theapples are on
the trees, lawns are green and the balmy
! Chinook wind would melt a stonier heart
than mine. ..
People all said, 'Nye, you are fool
to strike out on two-thousand-mlle
trip in winter over the mountains, and so
far away from Oshkosh" did not mind
that. have been called fool before by
! people who are now where the worm dieth
not and the fire is unquenched. So Ipro-
ceeded toward the setting sun.
During the summer I have gently
worked my way from Portland, Me-, to
Portland, Ore, and I am free to say that
I am greatly impressed with the wealth
and unbounded resources Of our great re.
public. In that little space of time have
examined the slate quarries of Maine, the
coal and kerosene of Pennsylvania, the
iron and lumber of Northern Wisconsin,
the -four, the lumber and the census OF
Minneapolis and St. Paul, the boundless
farms of Dakota, the countless herds and
rich mines of Montana and Idaho, and
the almost unlimited resources OF the
Northwest coast of the Pacific.
lam greatly pleased and grati6ed with
this growth, and I take this public meth
cd of expressing my entire satisfaction
This country from which am now
| writing is to me an enigma. Here, in
the northwest part of the Union, regard
less of the customs of the country, these
people are picking roses in their gardens,
and setting fy-paper around in the win
! dows. Ihave seen winter linger in tbs
! lap of spring, but never before saw sum.
mer remain in the lap of winter until it
seemed to demand an explanation.
On the way over here had a very pleas
ant trip, with one or two exceptions, and
they were little episodes that might occur
to any one, 7 presume One of them was
an episode about two months old. On
every car that I engaged passage 1 found
q young American of about that age, who
whooped and howled nights and re-
hearsed days. That is the reason why
I am now pale and emaciated.
There was one little cub, about two
years old, whose hand seemed to be
raised against all humanity, including his
mother. For days he snorted and rebe!led
and howled and repudiated the action
of the convention. Still he was kind
hearted and generous during his lucid
intervals. He would give his little BROTH
ers. or the other little friends in the car,
ANYTHING he had, after he had tested it to
see that it was all right. he would di-
vide his last dose of medicine with the
other children or give them anything he
happened to have. He gave them the
measles just before he got of. From
Portland up to Seattle we had the pleas
ure of riding with two lunatics, who
were in charge of the Walla Walla'
sheriff. These lunatics were social IN
their natures, and one of them called me
"Mr. Could" This showed that his
mind was hopelessly wrecked. do not
resemble Mr.. Gould in my way, except
that understand that he intends to keep
out of Wall street hereafter, and so do l.
A friend of mine made his advent into
Seattle under rather odd circumstances.
He had never been here, but was on his
way here by stage some years ago. he
hid letters of Introduction to leading
business men, and he intended to go into
Journalism. On the stage he met an old
friend in the sheriff of a neighboring
county, who was going over to Seattle
ard had intended to take a lunatlc
over but his man had evaded hlm.
He had the shackles and handcutts,
however, and my friend-We
will call him James, so that his family
NAV be spared-said it would be good
idea for him 70 put IN the cuffs AID
things, and when they met people ne
would jump up in the wagon, .attls MS
chains, gnash his teeth and yell. This
would scare one most to death and be
yc,y amusing. So the sheriff agreed to
it, and they ironed James amid great
mirth and hilarity. When the Stage met
anv one, especially party containing
ladies, James would jump up, clank his
chains and emit longdrawn yell, such
as a hyena might use when he got his
tail shut in the door.
James played his part irst-rate, and
the sheriff played his part we'll also.
| James thought he rather overplayed 1t,
though, for when they got to town ne
refused to unchain the amateur lunatlc,
and asked the clerk for q strong room,
with double lock, in which to put him.
People came from all over town to see
the maniac. He begged and entreated
the sheriff to take his irons off, and every
little while he would allude to his letters
of introduction, and people would laugh
and say that was pretty good, and ask
the sheriff if the Introductory letter
seemed to be his favorite weakness.
When James got down from his room
in the morning, the clerk having been in
structed to release him, he found that his
yalise was Sin soak" at the bar, and his
friends had gone away permanently.
James is still here and the best news
paper man in the country, believe, but
when his friends want to shut him up
thew ask him if he doesn't feel recurring
symptoms OF insanity.