Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-03-03


GAS | was saying, Mr.. Bier, rep
resent the funeral furnishing house OF
Migg & Miggles, and called"
What, Migg d Miggles; why
didn't you say that before ?"
"But | did, Mr.. Bier"
"Confound your impudence, young
fellow. DO you suppose I'm deaf
Do you believe l would allow man
to enter my doors who represents that
fY-blown, lantern-jawed Migg? Don't
you know, sir, despise that pink.
nosed, slab-sided, measely beat more
than any Of the other vile and low
creatures that crawl? AS to dealing
with him
"Id sooner DO toad,
And breathe the vapors of dungeon
Than harbor such thought"
81 suppose you want to sell me
some of his rotten old coffins or worm
eaten caskets. Why, Migg never
turned out an honest piece of work in
his life. His coffins never fit. They
shed buttons like walnut tree in
November. Rather than be buried
in one of his machines, I'd be planted
in soap box. His caskets are all
short measure; are not fast dye and
are more than half cotton. No, sir, ]
wouldn't deal with that man for
why, he's no man at all. That low.
lived, Anticipated, moth-eaten thing
of man-not much. If you belong
to him, and you say you do, get out
of this at once or I'll brain you with
this ruler. Are you going?
81 hoisted the ebony and rose to my
feet. Old Migg was mad he was
more than. mad. When he could
speak at all, which was quite a bit
after | had finished my graceful tri
butte to his character as u man and q
merchant, he gasped
Brown, you're fiend. I'll break
your neck right here and now, III
teach you not to joke with me"
"And with that he made a break
for me, crazy wild. hove the ruler
big heavy affair, as he advanced
1t took him on the top of the head
and glancing from thence, went smash
ing through the glass partition. Then
we closed. You should have witness.
ed that scrapping match, boys. ]
had more fun than tramp at a free
lunch or Il moke with a melon. We
waltzed around that apartment like a
peg-top with green apple collie, kick.
ing over chairs and desks and spilling
ink and gore-only it wasn't my gore
and generally speaking, had regu-
lar parrot and monkey time. Finally,
| got Migg near the partition. and
say you fellows has seen Graco-Rom-
an wrestler get man OH his back
and with his hands clasped under the
chin throw him clean over his head =?
Well, that's what | did to Migg. He
went sailing over the partition and
landed with crash among lot of
coffin plates bearing such inscriptions
as Rest and He is not dead but
sleepeth,' and there he laid quietly
while l resumed my clothes and help
ed myself to fresh cigar, the first
one having become in the course of
the fray, considerably demoralized
.And after that, suppose, all
hands turned to and dessicated you,
previous to your being given the
grand bounce" l hazarded.
"You're wrong again, Lang, my
boy. Of course got out of the shop
as quickly as 1 could, but the next
day Migg sent for me to his residence.
/ found him in bed, very bunged-up
specimen, promise you.
81 commenced apologizing, but the
old man stopped me with the ques-
ton
"How many times did you call on
Bier OH the 1st, Mr.. Brown?"
"Seven times SIR"
"And did Bier use you as you did
me"
"Not every time, Mr.. Migg," / an
swered truthfully. "The first and Sec
ond time he only swore at me and the
house, but from the third time he used
me pretty much as | used YOU"
"And you say you went back four
times after your first licking in your
endeavors to place bill ?"
you've called the turn, Mr..
Migg."
"What salary do we pay you, Mr..
Brown ?"
"s1, 800, SIR"
From the first of this month, the
cashier will pay you $4,000. Yes,
Mr.. Brown, it is harder work selling
goods now than it was when | was on
the road The Judge.