davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
THE BARBER AND The FOUR GIRLS.

"Well, sir, was never quite so cold
in my life as wauz last evenink when
| called on some ladifrers of mine up
town." said the barber of Fulton street
shop, as he rubbed the soap deftly into
the victims ears and smiled reassuring-
ly at him. you see, these ladies have
asked me to call on them several times,
but | haven't been off the turf since |
was shook by the daughter of the hoss.
| have been rather shy, but as they waul
nice girls | borrowed the foreman plug
hat, put lot of newspapers inside the
band, so as to keep it from going over
my ears and stuilin' me out on my way
uptown. | called at the fashionable
hour-seven o'clock. One of the girls
let me in, shook hands, said she was glad
to see me, and asked me to step in the
back parlor. In few minits the hull
-four of the girls wauz down there max
ing it pleasant for me. They looked I'M
commonly nice, havin' red, and blue,
and yellow ribbons in their hair. but
hadn't been talkin' to 'em three minutes
before one Of 'em suddenly yelled in a
loud voice:
"One-two-three-fourW
"Well, You know, | looked kind of
startled, but still pleasant-like, and then
suddenly another broke out in the mid
die of remark | was maxim:
"Onc- wu-three-fourp'
"Well, / sort of bumped myself and
sez: This here is kind of new deal.
But I'll get ON to it before long. Once
more | began to make some elegant re-
marks, when third girl yelled One
two-three-fourv which shook the
kerosene lamp nearly Off the pianner.
This sort OF thing went on for about an
hour. Every time ! spoke one of them
would yell -three-fourrand
then they'd all litter till they couldn't
get their breath. Well, durin' the
whole time this went on until | arose to
go. One of the girls asked me if had a
monogram band in my hat, and lifted
the foreman's dcer and took out seven
or eight newspapers. Then, as | sail
good evenin' they all yelled:
" 'One-two-three-fourr
"What was ii all about?"
II found out the following day from
their brother that they wauz maxim fun
of my mustache and countin' the hairs
on either side. felt kind of sore about
it at first; but the brother said that all
the best families do that, AMI so | let
her slide"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
HE SLEPT WITH THE WINDOW UP

"You notice that | have a bad cold"
said the st. Louis travelling man; "now
I'll bet the cigars that not one of you
boys can guess how | caught it,"
Riding next to an open window"
said one.
"In a sleeping car BERTH" ventured
another
'Sprinkling the lawn with slippers
on" suggested thiid.
There were dozens of guesses, but not
one of them, the man with the cold de-
clared, covered the case.
"All give it up?' he inquired, and all
replied in the affirmative. "Then I'll
tell YOU" he added. "You all remem-
Der how warm it was last night. Well,
| went to sleep with the window of my
bedroom raised about three feet"
That won't do" his listeners replied
in chorus; CHATS too thin. No man
could catch cold sleeping with a window
up such a warm night as last night.
That's too thin"
"T"et "aIt minute and see, 'rejoined
the man with the cold. pausing to use
his hnndLa"ohiNf s,It was warm
night, | admit, and no healthy man
should take cold sleeping with win
dow up; but | slept on the outside of
the window. The fact is ! had been
out with the boys and came in pretty
late and very tired. Just as l was get
ting ready to jump into bed fell out of
the window and slept the rest of the
night on the roof of the porch. Even
then | would probably have been all
right if the gardener hadn't seen me
about the middle of the forenoon and
wakenened me by turning the hose on
me. Thunder and lightning. but have
got bad cold"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
An Editors Dream.
BY SCOTT WAY.

Once upon time a village editor sat
in his quiet sanctum ndustriously pc
ruslng the political editorials in his daily
city exchanges. At length that which
he read began to have its legitimate eff
feet; the editor nodded once, twice,
thrice; his eyes closed, the city daily
fell from his neryeless fingers, and three
flies lit upon his bowed bald head and
balanced all, and swung corners, and
crossed over, and pTomcnaded all
around TO the music of the rythmical
editorial snore. The village editor was
asleep; and, sleeping, the village editor
dreamed:
lie sat at his desk with weary fingers
and aching head. The last local item
had gone into type, the last inside read
ing notice had been set up, and the
youngest apprentice stood gr.mly by, with
lines of impatience upon his brow and a
daub of ink under his left eye, waiting
for more copy. Suddenly there was a
step without, the door opened, man
entered, and taking the vacant chair in
front of the editors desk, to which the
editor had politely called his attention,
he said:
"My dear sir, my name is John w.
Smith. lam a subscriber to your paper,
as you very well know, and being in
town today thought would take the
opportunity to call and tell yon that |
like your paper all but one thing: You
don't print enough matter on the tariff
question. Poetry and stories and funny
paragraphs and local items may do we'll
enough to FLAP paper with in ordin-
airy times, but just now the country is
awake to the tariff question, and if you
want to keep pyourpaper alive you've got
to give your subscribers light on the
tariff. You should not have less than
three columns Of editorial and five col
uin5 Of extracts on the tariff every Issue
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
OLD MATTHEW.

A CoNvFRsATION-BY W. WORDSWORTH
We talked with open heart, and tongue
AiTcctionate and true,
pair of friends, though | was young,
And Matthew sevcnty-two.
We lay beneath spreading oak,
Beside messy seat;
And from the turf fountain broke
And gtrgled at our feet.
snow, Matthew" said !, "lct us match
This waters pleasant tune
With some old bordcr-sOng. or catch
That suits summers noon.
"Or of the church-clock and the chimes
Sing here beneath the shade
That half-mad thing of witty rhymes
Which you last April made!"
In silence Matthew lay, and eyed
The spring beneath the tree;
And thus the dear old man replied,
The gray-haired man Of glee:--
mo check, no stay, this Streamlet fears,
How mcrrily it goes!
II will murmur on thousand years,
And flow as now ii flows.
And here, on this delightful dav,
| cannot choose but think
ilow oft, vigorous man, / lay
Beside this fountains brink.
MY eyes are dim with childish tears,
My heart is idly stirred,
For the same sound is in my cars
" men III uiUsv udy p lizard.
THUS fares it still in our decay;
And yet the wiser mind
Mourns less for what Age takes away
Than what ii leaves behind.
"rhc blacl:blrd amid lcafy trees,
The lark above the hill,
Let loose their carols when they please,
Are quiet Wien they will.
"With nature never do they wage
A foolish strife; they see
A happy south, ard their old age
Is beautiful and free.
But we are pressed by heavy laws;
And often. glad no more,
We wear face Of joy because
We have been glad of yore.
"lf there be one who need bcmoan
His kindred laid in earth,
The household hearts that were his oNn,-
II is the man Of mirth.
"My'days, my friend, are almost gone,
My life has been approved,
And many love ne; hut by none
Am enough beloved"
Now both himself and me he wrongs,
The man who thus complains!
live and sing my idle songs
Upon these happy plains;
And, Matthew, for thy children dead
I'll be a son TO thce!"
At this he grasprd my hand and said,
"Alas! that cannot be-"
We rose up from the fountain-side;
And down the smooth descent
OF the green shccp-track did we glide;
Aud through the wood We went;
And ere we came to l.cOnard's Rock
He sang those witty rhymes
About the crazy old church-clock,
And the bewildCTed chimes.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
FOUR OF A KIND.

Il beg pardon, miss" he began, with
smile meant to be charming, "but did
you know there was Il flake of SCOT on
your face?''
"Yes, did," was the reply snapped
out like the cracker on an old whip,
This rather staggered the queslioner,
but he partially recovered himself and
remarked:
"B-but don't you want to wipe it off?"
NO, | don't" the snapper-like jaws
ratified out again, as the passengers
Uttered.
"And may | ask why you wish to
carry that SCOT on your face, malanl?"
"Because YOU are the fourth meddling
old fool who has told me it was there
since left Chicago, and want to keep
it on long enough to find out how many
more there are of you"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

Can any one bring us a case of Kidney
or Liver Complaint that Electric Bitters
Will not cure? We say they can not, as
Thousands of cases already permanently
cnred and who are daily recommending
Electric Bitters, will prove. Bright 5
disease, diabetes, weak back, or any
urinary complaint quickly cured. They
purify the blood. regulate the bowels,
and act directly on the diseased parts.
Every hottie guaranteed. For sale at
0Oc. a bottle by T. d. Thomas.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
A Sensible Man

would use Kemp's Balsam for the throat
and lungs. 1t is curing more cases of
coughs, colds, asthma, bronchitis, Group
and all throat and lung troubles, than
any other medicine. The proprietor has
authorized Biery, Of Weissport, and
Thomas, of this place, to refund your
money if, after taking three-fOurths Of
a bottle, relief is not obtained. Price
SOC. and 81. Trial size free.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

Never sun feather beds. Air them
thoroughly on windy day, in cool
place. The sun draws the oil and gives
the feathers rancid smell.
-Hartshorne will restore the color of
woollen garments without injury. Tur-
pentine removes grease or paint from
elolh-apply till paint can be scraped
off
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
---7-----------
DR.. Frazlers Root Bitters.

Frazier's Root Bitters are not dram
shop beverage. But are strictly mcdi-
cinal in every sense. They act strongly
upon the liver ana kidneys, keep the
bowels open and regular, cleanse the
blood and system of every impurity.
Sold by druggists, Sl.00. At Thomas
drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
IN LuNDON.

"Ah, S'r Edward, see you are to
lecture
"IaaS."
''W't subjcct?"
characteristics of Hamericans.
why, you've never been to Hameri.
ca, we you2'
"No, but I 'ad cab'egram from there.
] read the character Of the Hamericans
IN ihr.r aud writing j knaw."
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

-Chloroform is very useful in remov-
ing great stains from light silk and pop
lin. French chalk is also very good.
Clean tin with paper, and it will
shine bctter,anl you won't have to keep
an Old dusty piece of flannel in your box
of whitening.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
If not paid in advance, $1.25

In pairing fruit for canning, use
silver knife, so that the fruit may not
turn dark-colored.
When about to poach eggs, grease
the vessel before putting in water, and
they will not stick.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
Bucklen's Arnioa salus.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rhuem, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblands,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required.
1t is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac-
ton, ormoney refunded. Price - cents
per box, at +. ID. Thomas.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

"A tablespoonful of turpentine boiled
with white clothes will greatly aid the
whitening process.
Sugar, glycerine and gum arabic are
the articles used to produce the glossy
appearance of ink.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
Dr.. Frazer's Magic Ointment.

a sure cure for all boils. burns, sores,
cuts, flesh wounds, sore nipple, hard
and soft corns, chapped lips and hands.
Price 30 cents. Sold by druggists. Viii
2ms sofd Mfbbgg bg G58agP G8 Pr9RS HR& Sfs&gGfsHi. &GfHelnnd
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
No Pate Mt No Pay.
PATENTS

obtained for Inventors in the United States
Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. With
our principal Office located in Washington,
directly opposite the United States Patent
O6ice, we are able to attend to all patent
business with greater promptnees and lie
spatch and at less cost than other patent nj
torneys who are at u distance. from Wash.
ington, and who have. therefore, to emf 10y
'assOciate attorneys" We make preliminary
examinations and furnish opinions as to III.
tentahility, free OF charge. and all who are
interested in new Inventions and ratents arc
invited to send for copy OF our 'diuide fur
obtaining Patents" which is sent free 10
any address. and contains ,contlete instruc.
tions how 10 obtain patents and other valua
bic matter. We refer to the German Amer.
lean National Bank Washington, II. q. the
Royal Swedish. Norwegian and Danish L.ga
tio9s. at Washington; Hon. Jos. Casey. laie
Ohiet Justice u. =. Court Of Claims; to the
Officials of the u. ) Patent O.fige, and 10
Senators ana Members of Congress from
every state.
Address: LOUIS BAdGERS co, se
licitors OF Patents and AttorneysatLaw Lee,
Droit Building WAsaiNeToN. DO,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
When Baby was sick we gave her Castoria,
When She was Child, She cried for Castorla,
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,
When she had children, She gave themCastoria

Put mlcaroni in cold water and
bring to a boil. This makes it more
tender than if put into hot water or
steweG in milk.
-Rancid butter may be sweetened by
being washed in lime water.
When one sees the impure fats that are
sometimes used In soap making he Is inclined
10 doubt the CLEANSING qualities OF the soap
DreYdvpple's BOTax Soap is made from the
puIesl rrhnel talIo", ana is guaranteed pure
end healthful. 6-l9,H
To keep milk sweet, put in spoon
ful of gratel horseradish
Save your cold tea; it is excellent
for cleaning grained wool,
AVOID the use of ealomel for bilious
complaints. Ayers Catharlie Pills en-
tirely yegets bic, have been tested forty
years, and are acknowledged to be the
best remedy for torpiiity of the liver,
costiyeness and Indigestion.
To test the quality of nutmegs.
prick them with PIN If good, oil win
instantly ooze ont.
Oranges ana lemons keep best when
wr7pei chose in soft paper, and lIil il
q craze, Vi lEen..
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

In the above cases Or. Thomas Esleetre Oh eaa
he relied upon. Il has given relief TO Thousands.
Keep il in your house. There IS hardly vel Of
The year Il VIII net be useful.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
BLACK marks on banana skins u,

Black marks on banana skins usu-
ally Indicate that the fruit has been frost
bitten.
Put bit of butter in. a dish in
which milk is to be cooked, ana it will
be less liable 20 burn.
Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy positive
cure for catarrh, diphtheria and canker
mouth. Sold by Hiery, Weissport, and
DR.. Horn, Lehighton
When bread will not retain the dent
of the finger. it is ready for the oyen.
Young mustard plants, cut while
still in the seel leaf, furnish a delicious
salad.
"Iackmetack." Il lasting, fragrant
perfume. Price % and 30 cents. Biery,
Weissport; DR.. Horn, Lehighton.
TO clean zine, rub with a cloth
dampenel slightly with kerosene to get
off all the spots, then take another cloth
and rub with brick, and then another
to polish.
Bread and cake should be kept in a
tin box or stone jar.
For dyspepsia and liver complaint. you
have printe guarantee on every bot
tie of Shiloh's NitaliZer. 1t never fails
to cure. Sold by all druggists.
In frying steak have the lard or
butter very hot, The rule for some is,
when a bueish smoke is thrown OIL then
put in your meat.
Gloves in black ink will prevent
mould from forming on IL
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS.
CARBON HOUSE,

JONATHAN KISTLER, PROPRIETOR,
BANK ST., LEHIGHToN, PA.
The OA3BoN HOUSE offers hrst-class accom-.
mOdations to the Travelling public. Boarding
by the bay or Week on Reasonable Terms.
Choice Cigars, Wines and Liquors always ou
band. Coed Sheds aud Stables, with atteD-
tive Hostlers, attached. April l0-yl,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
DACKERTON HOTEL.

II
ilway between Mauch Chunk & Lehighton
LEOPOLD MEYER, PRoPBIEToR,
Paokerton, Penn'R
This well known hOto4 is admirably rehttcd,
and h rs the best accommodations Tor Derman-
ent aud transient bOarders. Excellent tables
ana the very best liquors. Also hne stables
attached. Sept. l6-Yl.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
MANSION HOUSE,

Opposite l., s. S. Depot,
Bank Street, LehiEhtOn, Pa,
.. H HONT, PROP'R-
This house offers arst-clasS accommoda-
tiOns for transient and permanent bOarders
IL has been newly rcftted In all its depart
ments, and Is located in one of the most
picturesque portions of the borough. Terms
moderate. Esg-The bar is supplied with The
choicest Wines, Liquors and Cigars. Fresh
Lager Beer ON Tap. aprl7-SG-ly
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

--spbscribe for the CArBov Apvo-
GAIT, Il year.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

Mortar and paint may be removed
from window glass with hot, sharp vino =
gar.
Rub magnesia or French chalk on
greasy silk ribbon, hold near the fire,
and brush off grease.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26
What tRere is
in a Bottle.

Sufficient to stop in five
minutes the smaTting, sting
Ing pain Of 700 burns or scalds.
II VIII step the pam as soon ai
applied.
Abundance TO cure a score
Of colds and the coughing
that often leads the way 70
Consumption. 1T WILL Pos,
ITivElY case a Cough in IS
minutes.
More than enough 10 save
q dozen children Choking wnh
GROUP. One minute alter the
hTst dose the hardest attaCk
Of Group VIII be relieved.
Plenty 10 relieve the oppTes
sion and whssling Of the most
severe case Of Asthma. The
direct cures OF Asthma by
tins medicine IS proof that
Or, Thomas Eelsctne Oil has
no equal IS an Asthma cuIs.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-06-26

ATTORNEYS AND COUNCILLORS.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-10-10
War Ball0OEinG.
Baltimore Americsn.l

In the next great war, wherever it
NAV occur, it is more than likely that
military aeronautics will be greatly de-
veloped. Ballooning was, to some eX-
tent resorted 10 during our civil war,
chiefly for purposes Of observation and
for reporting the positions Of an enemy,
a part of the results obtained being
fairly satisfactory, and in the Franco
Prussian war some further progress
was made in tho science. What has
been done, however, in this direction is
as nothing, apparently, compared with
the possibilities Of the future. 4 re.
cent article in the Century Magazine
has demonstrated that, with the assist
srce OF instantaneous photography, a
great deal Of work very yaln-
able to an army may be &C
complished from a balloon. and
from small one quite simple in con-
struction and equipment. Views taken
through the bottom Of the car or from
over the sides at heights ranging from
three quarters Of mile to q mile and
quarter present with wonderful clear
ness the general topography Of the
country, and as upon a map are dis
played accurately the courses Of roads,
lanes, and streams, great and little, the
streets Of village, and even the lines
Of fencing dividing the fields. Such
maps would be invaluable in a csm-
psign, and by the same means accurate
sketches Of the interiors of important
fcrtresses, the positions occupied by
corps and divisions, and the lines Of de-
fence of great cities could, it is reason
able to believe, be obtained instantane-
ously through the photographing bal
loon. France has just decided to create
special department Of military rro-
nautics, with eight stations in the de-
partment, and will doubtless follow
these very recent American eronats in
series Of experiments with the camera,
now that it is shown that ii can do such
very effective work in the region Of the
clouds. 1t would be well for our Gov
eminent to move in the same direction;
but as this is not probable, at least for
some time, our amateur aronauts and
photographers should continue the work
so well begun in this field.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-10-10
rHr RICHMOND DISPATCH-SUNDAY OCTOBER 10. 1886.

The couple have lived very happily
together, basking In the love OF
each others eyes, and gradual
ly lesrnipg TO converse in the
native tongues Of both. They have
prospered in worldly pursuits and
are now in good circumstances, the
young man having had a considerable
sum Of money in his own right and his
bride rece wing handsome dowry from
Der father. whose prowess in the chase,
when bufIaloes were plenty, brought
him wealth as we'll as fame. Lately q
desire took possession Of the couple
10 visit England, especially az q
sister Of the bride had been across the
pond about year ago and brought back
glowing accounts OF what she had seen.
There was no reason whg the desire
should not be gratiiied. Preparations
we're quickly made, farewells were
said to friends, and the travellers, with
their children, started upon their jour-
ney. They are now in Winnipeg fit
ting themselves out for their visit to
the centre Of civilization, and
arc lavish in their expendi.
lures. The lady was at the Hudson
Bay Company's store the other day
making purchases. and among other
things bought 500 sacque. She has
been in Winnipeg before, but not for a
few years past, and the wonderful de-
velopmeDt Of the city astonishod her
very much. She possesses very re-
fined and pleasant nature, and con-
verses freely in English.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-10-10

North Easton, Mass, February 4, 1884,
received ordinary schooling, and be-
came a practical mechanic, learning the
business Of shovel-making in his Ia
theirs factory. In this fact he takes
much pride. lie studied short time
at Brown University, but was not
graduated, becoming at an early age
an associate with his father in buh-
ness. On bis fathers death lac sue
ceeded to the management of the vari'
Gus interests which he has handled with
marked success. He has an elegant
residence in North Easton, and also
possesses a palatial home in Boston.
Mr.. Ames is man Of quiet habits,
but entertains his friends in princely
style.
lie has served in municipal Offices to
which Heading maniS very apt to be call
ed, and is popular because of improve
ments be has made and public gifts he
has bestowed, and also among his work.
men because Of his interest in them.
Mr.. Ames served in the State Senate
in 1850 and 1881. When Robert L.
Bishop was nominated for Governor, in
1883, Mr.. Ames was given the second
place on the ticket. Bishop was beat
en- by General Butler, but Ames was
elected, and has been renOmnsted and
Ie. elected each year since. His nomi-
nation to the Governorship was con-
fidently expected.