The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1886-05-18
BILL NYE.
The Humorist DispOrts Himself in
Capital SGciety-He Admires
Washington as a Matri-
mOniai Market.

/ have just re urned, writes Bill Nye al
Washington 10 the Boston Globe. from
a polite and h,rcie party here Wash
inglon is the hot-bed OF gsyety, and gen.
eral headquarters for the recherche bu-
siness 1t would be hard to find bon
tonner aggregation than the one l was
just at, to use the words Of gentleman
who was there, and asked me if | wrote
"The Heather Chinee"
He was a very talented man, with a
broad sweep of skull and tangible
earning for something more tangible to
drink. He was in Washington, he said,
lin the interest of Mingo County. I for
got to ask where Mingo County might
be. He took great interest in me, and
talked to me long after he really had
anything to say. he was one OF those
fluent conversalionslists frequently met
with in society. He used ore OF those
web perfecting talkers-lhe kind hat can
be fed with raw Romsn punch, and that
will turn out punctuated talk 10 links like
vanished sausages. Being poor tsker
myself, and rather more fluent as lis
tener, did not interrupt him.
He said he was vrry sorry to notice
how young girls and their par, nts came
to Washington as they would TO mat
rimonial market
was sorry also to hear it. 1t panied
me to know that young ladies shoul al
low themselves to be bsmbo zed into
mstrimony. Why was il, l asked that
mstrimony should ever single out the
young and fair7
"Ah," said be, cit is indeed rough"
He then breathed sigh that shook the
foliage OF the speckltd gersniom near
by, and killed an artificial caterpillar that
hung on its branches.
"Matrimony is all right" said he. '.if
properly brought about. II breaks my
heart, though, to notice how W Wsshing-
ton is ased as matrimonial market 1t
seems 10 me almost as il these here
young ladies were brought here like
slaves and exposed for sale." had nc.
ticed that they were somewhat exposed,
but l did not know that they were for
sale.
l asked him II the waists OF party
dresses had always been so sadly in the
minority. and he said they had.
danced with beautiful young lady
whose trail bad evidently caught in a
doorway. She hadn't noticed it until
she had walked partially through her
costume / DO not think lady ought
to give too much thought to her apparel.
neither should she feel too much above
her clothes. / say this in the kindest
spirit, because / believe that man should
be friend TO woman. No family circle
is complete without woman. She Is
like glad glandRcape to the weary eye
Individually and collectively, woman is
a great adianct of civilization and pro-
gress The electric light is good thing,
hut how pale ard feeble it looks by the
light Of woman's eyes. The telephone
is good invention. 1t is good thing
to talk at and murmur into and deposit
profanity in, but to take mp cenverss-
ton and keep it up and follow a man out
tuC itOut uPOi Win lty tuC lCiS-
phone has yet much to learn from wo
man.
1t is said that our Government off,
cials are not sufficiently paid and ] pre-
sume that it is The case so that il became
neces sary to eConomize in every way,
but why should wives concentrate all
their economy on the waist of dress ?
When chest protectors. are so cheap as
they now are, ! hate 10 see people suffer,
and there is more real suffering, more
privation, and more des,i'otion pervad-
ing the Washington scapula aud clavIcle
this winter than l ever saw before.
But do not hope 10 change this Gus
tom, though ! spoke to several ladies
about it and asked them to think it over
| do not think they will. 1t seems al.
most wicked 10 cut off the best part of a
dress and put it at the otner end OF the
skirt 10 be trodden under the feet of
men, IS may cay. They smiled good.
naturedly at me ae / tried to impress my
views upon them, but should ] 60 there
again next season and miDgle in the mad
whirl of Washington, where these fair
women are also mingling in said whirl, l
presume that l will find them clothed in
the came gas.light waists, with trimmings
OF real vertehra down the back. Sill,
what does man really know about the
proper costume for women? He knows
nothing whatever. he is in many ways
inconsistent. Why does 8 man frown
on certain costume for his wife, and
admire it on the first woman he meets
Why does be fight shy Of religion and
Christianity and talk very freely about
the church, and get mad if his wife is
an infdel?
Crops around Washington are looking
we'll Winter wheat, crocuses and In.
definite postponements we're never in
more thrifty condition. Q1ite number
Of people are here who are waiting to
be confirmed. Judging from their hab.
its, they are lingering around here in or.
der to become confirmed drunkards.
l leave here tomorrow with large.
wet towel in my plug hat Perhaps
should have said nothing on this dress
reform question while my hat is fitting
me 80 immediately 1t is seldom l step
oaide from the beaten path of rectitude,
but last evening, on the way home, it
seemed to me that didn't do much els
hut step aside. At these parties no
charge is made for punch. 1t is perfect.
ly free. asked colored man who stood
near the punch howl, and who replenish.
ed it ever and anon, what the damage
was, and be drew himself up to his full
height.
Possibly did wrong, but I hate to be
burden to any one. 1t seemed odd to
me to 90 to first class dance and find
the supper and the hand and the rum all
paid for. 1t must cost a great deal to
run this Government.
Prematurely Aged.