davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
HUMOROUS.

Mr.. Tennyson's new poem says
that blackbirds have their wills. The
lawyers viii now all go hunting for
blackbirds. - Louisville CourieY-Jour-
nal.
Speaking Of the "See-Saw' waltz,
it tramp were to see cord of wood
lying in front of house he wouldn't
go near enough to saw it.-Norristoao
Herald.
-Proof-reader to editor - Is this
''little bother or 'slittle brother in
your manuscript? Editor (who has
one)-It doesn't make any difference.
Huntington Free Press.
An agricultural editor says: mo
animal can fight and eat at the same
time He has evidently never seen
& Traveller at NOTWITHSTANDING
S'"iiu = Iisstadelphia Cal.
A w Ia9,laqa2ssa has written an essay on
Silence as a Weapon. This must ac-
count for the boldness of a mouse
when he hears the mellow shrieking of
female at his appearance. He knows
she has not her weapon with her.
Yonbers Statesman.
A Student of the Dime Novel
"Come, now, BERTHE, kiss your little
sister and make up with her." said
mamma to her ten-year-old boy.
"What! the Pawnee Chief bow low to
pale-face Cry Baby! Mother, you ask
too much. lid Bits.
Dairy Hint: A French agricult-
ural college experiment is claimed to
have demonstrated that giving cows
water at &c degrees increased the milk
yield one-third. How would it do to
make the water 1872 degrees, and SO
make the yield two-thirds greater.
LogceU Courier
Overheard Coming Out of Church.
She: Next time you want to sleep
during the sermon, you d better go and
sit with Mr.. A., and lay your head on
him. You'd be really comfortable
then" He: Why? Is Mr.. A. nice
and ahem! soft?" She: No; but
he's one of the pillars of the church. y
n. Z. Ledger.
-sWhat is the difference between
this coffeep" asked Fogg at the break
fast-table the other morning, 'sand that
beautiful picture over the mantel?'
AS nobody ventured a solution, Fogg
continued: "That picture is painted in
Oil, and this coffee is water, colored"
One of those silences which can be felt
followed Neutrality-suspicious. Tran
script.
Little Katie came into the library
just as Uncle Arthur was finishing up
a story with which he was entertaining
the other children. ''Oh, tell it to
me- begged Katie; ''please tell it
over, Uncle Arthur" 20, no." said
Jack; ''uncle's tired. We're going to
put him to sleep now" EYES," an
nounced Harry. You've come too
late, Katie; the edition is exhausted. -
HdrDer'S Raz0r.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
HOME. FARM AND GARDEN.

Some gardeners are now using
common drain tile for holding the
stalks of celery in position and for
blanching them.
The time was when tables were en-
tirely SET with white; now we go to the
other extreme and have clutter Of all
sorts of colors mixed together without
harmony Cincinnati Times
Keep old turkeys for breeders. Sc
lect gobblers and hens that are broad
across the back. short legged and
square-built. Tall, thin turkeys are
not worth keeping. -Prairie Farmer.
1T is said by an experienced seam
stress that if you would only thread
your needle from the end farthest from
that broken off last, you would never
be troubled with the thread knotting.-
~ Z. Post.
There is probably no root more
poorly adapted to making good milk
or butter than potatoes. They should
be fed only sparingly and with a good
ration of corn meal, or The milk viii be
thin and the butter of poor quality.-
Rural Neao Yorker
Beef Gales: Chop up some beef
that's partly cooked with little smoked
pork fat, and season with salt, pepper
and onion, mix well and form into
small cakes. Fry them light brown
and serve with good gravy made of
soup stock thickened with brown flour.
IN J. Herald.
Rice Bread: Boil one pound of rice
until soft in three quarts of water;
when cool, mix It well with four
pounds of flour, two tablespoonfuls of
salt, and one small teacupful of yeast.
Knead it well, set it to rise, and bake
as common bread. Add more water IL
boiling should the rice require it
Caterer.
Boards are cheaper than grain.
And without even the expense of boards
and nails, stock may be kept comfort
able by free use of straw over and
around sheds to exclude the cold This
is temporary expedient, but it will
pay its cost in one winter in saving of
food and superior condition of stock.
The carbon in grain required to main
tain heat by exposure is the dearest
fuel farmer can use. - Western Rural.
Rice Pudding: One-half cupful of
rice, three-fourths of a pint of milk,
four apples, peeled, cored and stewed,
one-third cupful of sugar, four eggs.
Boil rice in milk until reduced to pulp,
beat well with apple sauce and sugar
for ten minutes, then set aside to cool;
then carefully mix in the whites of
eggs, whipped to a stiff froth; butter
the mold, pour in pudding, set in
saucepan with boiling water to reach
half up its sides; steam slowly for
twenty-five minutes; permit it to stand
three minutes before turning out
The Household.
If any article of household furniture
requires disinfecting occasionally, it is
a carpet; especially if it has been used
considerable time. The following is
a method recommended by a lady
housekeeper, both as a disinfectant and
preventive of moths: Add three
tablespoonfuls of turpentine to three
quarts of water. Saturate large
sponge with this mixture, squeeze it
about two-thirds dry, and 60 over the
carpet carefully. AS often as the
sponge becomes dirty cleanse it and
take in fresh supply of water Troy
Times.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
JULIUS c. KOoSHAR.
The Man Who Manufactured the Bomb
Which Killed Gear Alexander.

The Man Who Manufactured the Bomb
Which Killed Gear Alexander.
The parsonage who, it is alleged,
manufactured the bomb that sent Car
Alexander to another world bears the
somewhat striking cognomen of Julius
Caesar Koeshar. The police claim,
however, that his real name is
Tshoodnofsky He is native of Kief,
Russia, and made his debut into this
world in the year 1841. At the age of
eight he was sent to Leipsic by his
parents, and in the university there re-
ceived his education. Returning to
Kief in 1856, he claims to have entered
into the banking business, and few
years later inherited the sum of $780,
900 rubles (Sl75, 000) on the death of his
father. Having loaned large sums of
money to Polish noblemen, he was
well-nigh ruined by the Polish revolu-
ton of 1868. His wife died about
thirteen years since, leaving him two
children, who are at present in Russia.
In later ventures he lost what re-
manned of his fortune, and, hating the
California, arriving here five years
since. Several residents of Russia in
this city state that his real object in
coming to the Golden State was to
further the interests of colonization
scheme, which failed. He lived for a
time at the expense of the Russian
Consul, and, it is alleged. swindled
Barnett Rosenthal. a tobacconist, of
stock of cigar materials which were
given him ON credit. Kooshar is
man of medium height, rather well
preserved. A depreeatory expression
rests continually on his wrinkled coun-
tenance. He stoops slightly, and,
when conversing, his eyes have a sly
look. He is not a member of the Anti
Coolie League CT any other organize
tiOn,--SGa FYaaciseo Examiner,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
The Duties and Responsibilities of the Of
floating Surgeons.

The Duties and Responsibilities of the Of
| Floating Surgeons.
| Few persons upon reading an ac-
stop to consider the importance of the
matter OF the time taken up to do the
work of an autopsy. The post-mortem
| surgeons are important officers, who
make all the medico-legal examina-
tons for the city, and are the medical
witnesses for the State in cases where
post-mortem examinations are re-
| quired. There are two post-mortem
physicians in Baltimore, DR.. S. V.
Hoopman, for the ten lower wards,
and DR.. l.. w. Councilman, for the
ten upper wards.
A reporter, wishing to witness tho
post-mortem work, called on DIR. Hoop
man short time ago just as he was
starting to perform such duty. The
case was very important one, being
one of the late murders committed in
the eastern section of the city. Ar
irving at the house, about twenty med
ical students were found, who %ac-
companied DR.. Hoopman to the room
where the dead body lay. A table was
prepared by covering it with an oil
cloth. The clothing was removed from
the body, and it was placed on the
table. The doctor carefully inspected
| the corpse and noted all wounds, which
| in this case were found to be three,
two bullet-wounds and one knife-gash.
| The head was first examined. An in
cision was made from ear to ear over
the top of the head, followed by
gush of blood, which made
| some of the spectators remember
that they were needed outside
for moment. The scalp was reflected
| backward and forward and the skull
exposed. The skull was then sawed
| around on line with the eyebrows.
When the top of the skull was removed
| the doctor took out the brain. The
| beautiful organ, with its assures and
| convoluhons, was a mass of blood, the
fatal bullet having plowed its way di-
! agonally through it. An inspection of
| the neck showed that another bullet
had entered at the back, passed through
| toward the front, severing the carotid
artery and jugular vein. The nextm move
was to make a long incision from the
chin down to the navel The breast
| bone was dissected and the heart and
lungs taken out for inspection. After
carefully examining the heart, the doc
tor remarked that ssthe columnm car
nae, chord@ tendinea and auriculo-ven-
tricul@ and semi-lunar valves are all
healthy" The lungs were found
healthy A piece thrown in water
would not sink, which the doctor said
was a test for healthy lungs. The
stomach, liver, spleen, pancreas and
intestines We're ell in turn carefully re-
moved and inspected. All this COM
| pleted, the organs were replaced and
1.-THE missions carefully sewed up. So
completely is this done that when the
body is dressed the fact of post-mor-
tenn examination having been made is
not apparent.
g How many post-mortems have you
made during the yearan asked the re-
| porter.
i" About forty, and about one hun
dred since / have been making post
mortems.n
CHANGING at the watch it was found
that four hours had been occupied in
| performing the interesting examina-
ton. Baltimore San.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
TEMPERANCE ITEMS.

THE Japanese say: "a man takes
drink, then the drink takes drink,
md next the drink takes the man."
THE Texas Advocate says: "Mer-
chants at Bediss and lola say they
would not have whisky sold again in
these towns for $1,000 year. Four
teen thousand dollars worth was sold
per year, it is said, at lola. Now men
pay their debts and have something
left. who did but little more than pay
their whisky BILL"
A COLONIAL Temperance Alliance
has been formed in New Zealand, ssfor
the total and immediate suppression of
the traffic in intoxicating liquors. -
One of the objects is to secure the cleo
ton on Licensing Committee of men
pledged not to grant licenses, and to
support only such candidates as are
favorable to and will support in Par
lament and elsewhere. tbs principles
of this Alliance.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
A VAST SUM.

The Amount Worse Than Wastog on the
Drink Habit, and What Might BE Dene
with 1t.
There are 9OS,9SO persons. adult
males for the greater part, employed i'm
the manufacture and sale of liquors in
the United States. This is one to every
sixty of the entire population. These
men, mostly able-bodied, are taken
from productive, that is to say, wealth.
producing employments. They are
tax or the workers, adding no one eie-
ment of prosperity to the COMMON
wealth of the Nation at the low wage
which all of them could earn they
would receive for the three hundred
working days of the year $272, 1894, 900.
Who can estimate the loss of perman-
ent wealth that this aggregate of
wages implies and suggests?
The Federal statistics show that there
are in the United States 100000 per-
sons daily incapacitated for labor by
reason of liquor" This number in
clndes the drunkards, the insane, the
criminals and paupers dragged down
to these classes by the direct and recog-
nized influence of using Intoxicating
drinks. At one dollar day in year
of three hundred days these 600,000
persons placed -horS dc combat by the
drinking habit, could have earned
$3.50. 900, 900, which, added to the other
totals of money cost, and the loss of
the service of the army of makers and
sellers, estimating these services on the
wage basis only, amount to the aggre-
gate of LII, 291, 51S per annum.
"This vast sum, writes Mrs. Thomp-
son, sis twenty-three dollars per capital
for every man, woman and child in the
country. 1t is nearly equal to our en-
tire gold, silver and paper circulation
combined. 1t would build and equip
$4,000 miles of railroad; pay the cost
of the public schools for fifteen years;
erect and maintain $4,000 colleges;
send out and support 100000 mission
aries; pay the entire national debt of
the country, national, State and NUM-
cipal, in less than four years; construct
! 600 first-class ocean steamers; erect and
and maintain $3.50 hospitals, libraries,
or homes for the aged; provide one
third of the people in the United States
with homesteads of 100 acres each;
run the Post-0ffice Department for
thirtyfour years; support the navy for
seventy-five years; pay our foreign
Consular service for LIPS years; pur-
chase, at seven dollars barrel, 167,-
327, 1859 barrels of flour, and pay the
salary of the President OF the United
States for 23,425 years!' Teas 6Jt-
a77nS
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
WHO KNOWS?

A Common Occurrence Described in Terse
Paragraphs.
He sat in the parlor.
She was similarly indulging.
They had been doing this similarly for
four mortal hours.
1t was eleven thirty p. m.
He was happy.
She was tired.
He asked if he might sing.
She said the patrol wagon didn't come
out after eleven o'clock.
Then he tuned up his voice and started.
"Ever of Thee I'm Fondly Dreaming, " he
warbled.
"Why don't you wake up and 60 homer"
she queried, ENORMOUSLY.
He walked up.
He went home.
He never came back.
But another young man took his place.
They burn the paternal coal and gas sew.
EN- nights per week.
Possibly it is better thus.
Who knows?-Merchant Traveller.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
THE OLD COUPLE.


1t stands in sunny meadow,
The house SO sunny and brown.
With its cumbrous old stone chimney
And the gray roof sloping down.
The trees fold their green arms around it
The trees century old;
And the winds 20 chanting through them
And the sunbeams drop their gold!
The oowslips spring in the marshes,
And the roses bloom on the hill:
And beside the brook in the pasture
The herds go feeding at viii.
The children have gone and left them;
They sit in the sun alone;
And the old wife's ears are failing,
AS she hanks TO the weil-knoWn tone
That won her heart in girlhood,
That has soothed her in many q care,
And praises her now for the brightness
Her old face used to wear.
She thinks again of her bridal
how, dressed in her robe of white,
She stood by her gay young lover
In the mornings rosy light.
OIL the morning is rosy as ever,
But the rose from her cheek has fed;
Aud the sunshine still is golden,
But 1t falls on silVered head.
And the girlhood dreams, once vanished
Come back in her Winter time,
I'LL her feeble pulses trenble
With the thrill of Spring-time prime.
And looking forth from the window,
She thinks how the trees have grown,
Since, clad in her bridal Wilderness,
She crossed the old door-stone.
Though dimmed her eyes bright azure,
And dimmed her hairs young gold,
The love in her girlhood pllghted
Has never grown dim nor old.
They sat in their place in sunshine
Til the day was almost done;
And then, at its close. an angel
Stole over the threshold stone.
He folded their hands together,
He touched their eyelids with balm;
And their last breath floated upward,
Like the close Of solemn psalm.
Like bridal pair, they traversed
The unseen mystic road
That leads to the beautiful city,
Whose builder and maker is God".
-PT0Utttsaiee Journal.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
BAD DIET AND DRUnKARDs.
Scanty, TasteIess Food One OF the Causes
of a Depraved Appetite.

scanty, TasteIess Food One of the Causes
of a Depraved Appetite.
Prof. Williams says that he has no
doubt that overwork and scanty, taste
less food are the primary source of the
craving for strong drink that so largely
prevails, with such deplorable results,
among the class that is most exposed to
such privation. II do not say" he
continues, " that this is the only source
Of such depraved appetite. 1t may also
be engendered by the opposite extreme
of excessive luxurious pandering to
general sensuality. The practical in
ference suggested by the experience of
these observations is that spcech-mak-
ing, and pledge-signing, and blue-rib-
bon missions can only effect temporary
results, unless supplemented by satisfy
ing the natural appetite of hungry peo-
pie by supplies of food that are not
only nutritious, but savory and varied.
Such food need be no more expensive
than that which is commonly eaten by
the poorest of Englishmen, but it must
be far better cooked. find that the
raw material of the dietary of the
French and Itslians is inferior to that
OF The English, but far better result is
obtained ny better cookery" He adds
that he never saw drunken Italian
during year of prosperity in Italy,
but that at subsequent period, when
Italy had the three plagues-the potato
disease, the silkworm fungus and the
grape disease-he found very differ
ent state of affairs among the poor.
There was no wine where formerly the
potation had been a glass of thin but
pure wine; "potato spirit and coarse
beer had taken its place. Monotenous
polenta, a sort of paste or porridge
made from Indian corn meal, to which
they gave the contemptuous name Of
miserable, was then the general food,
and much drunkenness was the natural
consequence. THE Cook.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
A WORD TO BOYS.
A Sure Way by Which You May Avoid the
Drunkard's Fate.

Drunkard's Fate.
What do you think, young friends,
of the hundreds of thousands who are
trying to cheat themselves and others
into the belief that alcoholic drinks are
good for them? Are they not to be
pitied and blamed? Do you want to
be one of these wretched men? If we
are to have drunkards in the future,
some of them are to come from the
boys to whom l am writing; and ask
you again if you want to be one Of
them? No! Of course you don't!
Well, l have a plan for you that is
just as sure to save you from such a
fate as the sun is to rise tomorrow
morning. 1t never failed; itnever will
fail; and think it is worth knowing.
Never touch liquor in any form. That's
the plan, and it's not only worth
knowing, bat it is worth putting in
practice.
know you don't drink now, and it
seems to you as if you never would.
But your temptation will come, and
it probably will come in this way: Yop
will find yourself, some time, with
number of companions, and they will
have a bottle of wine on the table.
They will drink and offer it to you.
They will regard it as manly prac-
tice, and very likely they will look
upon you as milksop if you don't in
dulge with them. Then what will You
do? EhP What will you doP VIII
you say: mo, no, none of that stuff
for me? / know trick worth half
dozen of that" Or will you take the
glass with your own common sense
protesting, and your conscience max
ing the whole draught bitter, and a
feeling that you have damaged your
self, and then go off with a hot head
and skulking soul that at once begins
to make apologies for itself, and will
keep doing so during all his life? Boys,
do not become drunkards. G. HoI-
land.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
TEMPERANCE READING.
JUST ANOTHER.


It's sparkling clearl Yes, mother dear,
Give me a little wine,
Twill little take to renoyate
rms youthful frame of mine.
An this has been 1reary day;
Come. gentle mother, pass
Inc sure and speedy comforter,
The rudy social glass;"
Yes, noble son, but just this one
Promise, come, give me here:
That you VIII, then, not taste again.
Aud will have no fear
Well, then, dear mother-to your health.
Long may you live. and see
Your son the great and noble man
That you would have him be-
Ali sad to tell, within cell,
Stretched on low, hard bed,
The noble boy, a mothers joy,
Lies grim and cold and dead.
In lonely grief he curse his fate,
And chains that bound him sore.
He curs'd the wine. but now those lips
Are sealed forevermore.
And none may know if deep. dark woe
Shadow'd the passing SOUL
IL one bright ray shone Ger the way
To the eternal goal.
Alone close bard, at midnight hour,
The fettered spirit fed,
WMle no pale mourner wept or prayed
Beside that prison bed.
See yon white hair, that brow of care,
Those hot remorseful tears
And furrowed cheezl All, do they speak
Of sorrow, or of years?
The desolated mother weeps;
Her grief too well she knows
Was purchased by the social glass"
Full to the brim with woes.
Northern Messenger
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
Temperance in New Zealand.

The New Zealand Times, just re-
ceived, gives account of the largest
Temperance meeting ever held there.
An immense procession paraded the
streets of Wellington, in which were
fifteen Bands of Hope, besides very
many other organizations.
The mass-meetiDg was addressed by
Hon. Mr.. Stout, Premier of New
Zealand; Mr.. John Hardy, who spent
some time in America two years ago,
and others. The Premier's address
took strong grounds for Temperance,
especially emphasizing scientific Tenn
perance and heredity. He urged each
man to have the courage Of his
opinions and believe that this is an in
diyidual question with him. Organi-
cation is good, but we must not rely
too nluch on societies; to succeed,
each one must feel individual re-
sponsibility in elevating the race to a
higher type of humanity. - Union
Signal
Tn IL hotto1. m h,1v vo11r rye hV tha
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
A Dumb Waiter.

A lady in the South End last week who
happened to be in the kitchen about sup
perfume handed dish to the new domestic
with the remark: "That goes to the dumb
waiter" The girl was gone some time, but
finally returned painting for breath and
with. the dish still in her hand.
Sure, she said, II have been all over
the house, mum, from cellar to attic, and
the dickens of q dumb waiter could / find,
or one that could talk aither. Bedad I
think he's gone out."-Boston Budget.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
Mistaken Identity.

There Isl statue OF Henry Clay in theCap-
itol Square at Richmond. Va. Two colored
girls were promenading the Square one
afternoon, when one was overheard to say
to the other: aDat's Clay" "Who you
irving to TOOL? OATS marbul; an you
knows itlp replied her indignant friend.
That's the way the world goes; mistakes
and Misrepresentation VIII continue, not
only in the humble, but in the higher walks
of life-The Whip.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15

''Oh dear" exclaimed Mrs. f., liter yainly
endeavoring to pour hot water out of the
empty tea-kettle, show dill forget it, /
wonder. I'm getting @ perfect simpleton
/ wish did have little common sense''
"But, my DEAR" interrupted Fogg, ''sup-
pose you had. Do you think you'd know
what to do with it?''
'Do with it?' echoed Mrs. F., ''many
things. might want to be married again,
you know, and it might save me from
making fool of myself a second time. -
Boston Transcript.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1886-01-15
Right in the Family.

Judge Peterby said to his colored SER
want:
/" You will have to quit. You attend to
your work very well, but am always miss
ing things about the house, and every time
it is you that takes Them
Boss, don't send me off on dataccount.
Hit mus be q comfurt ter yer, when yer
missing anything to know right whar it
am. ''-Texas Siftings.