St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1886-02-13
''Theftr' exclaimed the lady.

U.s. eheIe, IcpHeu the pOuceman,
smiling cynically, "but please don't
make scene. One person likes alb
sinthe, another has a weakness for
cigars, and you probably have pen.
chant for emptying the pockets OF
strangers"
'sThis is infamousr exclaimed the
lady, Il am Baroness z, and if you will
accompany me to my residence l will
convince you of your mistake and pay
you for your trouble" said the Baron
ess.
"Ah! an attempt to corrupt the off,
GERS OF justice. I'll put you on my
little list"
'.Now, Madame, the hack is waiting
at the door, said the little man.
There was nothing to do but obsy.
The look the Baroness gave the little
man was enough to frighten a lion, but
he only sighed and shook his head, as
much as to say, ''this is tough
world"
The Police Justice seemed to be very
nice gentleman. He had just dined and
was in the best humor imaginable
On seeing the Baroness he smiled and
bowed. He had SO much to do with
people who had been run over on the
streets, drunken rowdies, disreputable
women and such canaille, that he was
pleased to see some apparently respect
able criminals patronize his court.
Taking his seat on the judicial throne,
he asked pleasantly what was the nature
of the case.
The little man and the Baroness
sprang to their feet. They addressed
the chair simultaneously, and with con-
siderable show of emotion, particularly
the insulted baroness.
Judge-Don't both speak at once.
Which of you is the complainant
The Gentlcman-I am.
Baroness-1 am.
Judge-That is impossible. Police
man. which of the parties applied to
you first?
Policeman-The gentleman did. your
Honor
The Jndge-Now, sir, you haye the
floor. Madame, you will allow the
gentleman to state his case.
zhe Baroness sits down with gesture
of despair. The little gentleman bows
to the court, clears his throat, and asks:
HAS your Honor ever been in lovee"
JUDGE might reply to that ques-
ton that it was none of your business.
but l do not blush to acknowledge that
on several occasions have been under
the influence of the tender passion.
Complainant-Then your Honor will
comprehend to some extent the suffer-
ings that I have undergone About
two months ago recovered from
dangerous, and, what might have been
fatal illness. My physician said 1
needed change of air and amusement.
l lived at that time in the Boulevard de
Tophet, so l moved to the Rue de Para.
dis. My greatest pleasure was to look
out of my window every morning and
witness the awakening of Aurora.
Baroness-Your Honor. he lies. He
did not bother himself in the least about
the rising sun. 1t was me that he
stared at like the escaped lunatic
that he is. For the past two months l
have not been able to look out of my
window without being subjected to the
impudent glances of that wretched lit
tie caricature of man, whom your
Honor allows to air his insolence in
your court.
80, you wretch!" and the Baroness
grit her teeth and shook her head at
the complainant, who sighed.
Proceed" said the Judge. .z
Ccmplainant-What the lady says is
to some extent true. Yes, confess
my eyes on her peerless beauty.
My physician told me that needed some
thing to divert my mind from the cares
Of business. That is my excuse. After
awhile it became a positive necessitv
for me to stand at my window. o,
what a lovely vision it was! How
beautiful she is! but your Honor can
see for yourself. Isn't she daisy?
Judge--Please confine yourself to the
.ase. young man. have been there
myself, SO to speak, but the rules of the
court do not permit you to elaborate so
much. You have the sympathies of the
court, but be brief
Complainant-I neglected my bnsi-
less. l shut myself up in my room, and |
lived only for her How often did I |
esort to strategy to communicate with
ny lovely tormentor! / sent her let
ers breathing of love from my win
low saw her tear them to pieces,
nd scatter them to the winds of |
leaven. 1 sent her flowers. almost as
resh and beautiful rs her lovely lips
nd eyes. and next morning saw ny
in the trash barrel amid dead
ats. cold hash, and like debris.
Judge-Poor. unfortunate young
nan!
Complainant-Well may your Honor
ay that | am unfortunate. The sym-
athy of this Honorable Court is balm
0 my bruised and bleeding heart. Soon
eople will read on my sad tombstone:
Here lies poor young man who per-
'hed of funreauited love. He could move
olice justice, but he could not move 4
,ove the cruel object of his affections.
Judge-Come to the point, if YOU
lease. What is your complaint?"
Complainant-1 bribed her servants:
1ey took my money, but the base me-
ials never gave me a chance to con-
erse with her. Disguised as a letter.
arrier l sought to converse with her,
ut she ordered the janitor with large
Dpious feet to kick me out into the
old street. which he did. Whenever
he went out l followed her as faith
llly as her own shadow.
Judge-What a nuisance you must