The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1886-08-21
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CUR 1k EAT DRIFT.

A man must not expect to live
in clover simply because he mar
ries a grass widow.
After all, it may turn out that
the only honest butter is the goat.
No one ever heard of a woman
applying for the office of Auditor.
That isn't her nature.
1t is a curious fact that whenever
a British Parliament gets into hot
water it is sure to dissolve.
A joker tells of capitalist so
timid that he will not let well
enough loan without good Sc
curity.
Every Alderman worthy. the
name is opposed to the annexation
of Canada.
When man wants to find fault
he will do so if he has to spend all
his time looking for it.
1t is clear enough that men OBJ
ject to jury service because the ju-
ryman is treated as criminal.
Cotton was king" once on a
time; now the COW is Queen, as
witness the votes in Congress on
oleomargerinc.
A western contemporary asserts
that it is SD dry in Wheeler county,
Texas, that the people have to
sprinkle the water before it is wet
enough to drink.
Lady Ito servant whom she is
about to engage y" These are my
conditions; do they suit your
Servant" HIM, I'll see. / always
take ladies' on trial"
DO you know the nature of an
oath, ma'am?" inquired the Judge"
Well, | reckon | or.er," was the
reply. My husband drives ca
nal boat"
He" / can't see why the word
obey should be eliminated from
the marriage service" Sho-"Can't
YOU? 1t will relieve the bride from
promising that which she has no
idea of performing"
Whinky-" ] don't see much diff
ference between a woman's spring
hat and church steeple." Whankv
-"I do" Whinky-" Well. now
Just tell me difference" Whanky
There is limit to the height of
church steeples."
The editor of the Censor, of FIRE.
donia, New York, offers his paper
the remainder of the year as spe-
cial premium at the Northern Cha
tauqua Fair to "the girl who has
got up and helped her mother to
get breakfast the most mornings
since January 1st.
Mime. Marchcsi, the great artist
teacher of singing in Paris, had
,irl pupil from Nebraska who sang
vigorously, so t'amO." Stop"
said madame, sis that the way they
say Il love you in American"
" Yes, madame" "Well, that is
the way they cry fish for sale in
Paris"
Maud" Mr.. Allround is n sort |
of universal genius, isn't hep" Ma
bel" Yes, he is exceedingly clev-
er." Maud" He is something of
a lawyer and something of a musi-
cian. What is his profession?"
Well, the lawyers call
him musician and the musicians
call hin a lawyer
Friend Ito planter)-" 1t is bad
to lose a son during the busy
Planter" Yes, it was
mighty hard to give Sam up, but l
have one consolation" Friend
What is that?" Planter
. Well, it is this: We've only got
one barrel, and Sam was a mighty
hand for whisky"
A cremation is thus described
bv Ella Wheeler Wilcox: Snowy
clothing envelops it (the body),
the door swings noiselessly open,
he iron cradle. that appears like
nuptial bed, disappears in a glory
If crimson light as dove flies into
lhe crimson sunlight and disap-
pears from view"
Paul Mounet. a French actor,
vas so carried away while perform
ng Macbeth" at Bordeaux that
he threw himself violently OH the
sword of Macduff," cut an artery
md tainted from loss of blood.
It is to lie presumed that this i'm
Detuous actor is coming to this
the above reads SO like an
advance agents iteln."