The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1886-06-29
"A Rich, Rare and Racy MOrsel for
the EdificatiOn of the
"BazO0'S" Readers.
She Gives the Measurement of
Her Bust, Which is
Truly Clever.
What Would She Say if She Knew
the Old buffer Who is
Playing Her !!

The following letter, which came
into the BAzoo's possession in a Ger
tainly legitimate manner, is without
doubt one;of the raciest production:
the readers of this paper have perused
In many moons. 1t was written to q
physician of this city, and he is not g
spring chicken by any means. Neither
is he without experience in the matri-
monial line. He is a widower, it is
true, but it has been less than six
months since he buried his wife, and
his friends in Pettis county were not
aware that he was DESTROYS of marry
ing again. The fair correspondent
says she is only twenty-five years of
age, and judging from her epistle she
imagines her admirer is but little the
rise of that figure. He, however, is
sixty if he is a day, and would
hardly be looked upon as man in
search of wife.
The chirography and photography
of the letter are excellent, hence the
BAzoo presents it entire, with the
exception of names and places, as
follows:
HERE'S YOUR RICHNESS.
GUESS THE PLACE, KY, June IA.
Doctor Ohio Street.
HIGHLY APPRECIATED FRIEND
1t is with great trepidation
that / venture to intrude
myself into your favorable
notice. Please hear INV weak defense
and honest testimony before casting
me from you as you would willy SER
pent. / admit | have been very neg
ligent in answering your most highly
and entertaining epistle, and trust
you will forgive me this time, as /
have been feeling very badly. l i'm
plore forgiveness, and will say might
have written, but had no will to act
IF you cast me into outer darkness,
where the fire is not auenched, Ishall
only cry 'just Judge" and when Gre
mated will send you my ashes to
mulch favorite sunfower in the cor
ner or the Darnyard.
Don't fancy you were Tot sweetly
remembered, for you are my favorite
correspondent (no tafy), Though l
admit l have a friend in Ohio that
spares no opportunity to make himself
very agreeable. He is clever, but not
my style in any view | entertain Of
a gentleman. Doctor, you say you
are DESTROYS of possessing wife, eh +?
Well, almost
ALL LADIES DESIRE HUSBANDS
sooner or later, and suppose I'm no
exception to that frail sex. While |
cannot say I've experienced a great
desire for husband, yet could | meet
a gentleman of true, noble impulses
and congenial nature, / might. But
rs this is not leap year, maiden mod
esty prompts deviation, for the pres
emit at least, from the subject to dis
eussion of the qualifications, means,
etc. am possessed of a fair Eng
lish education, but my means are
limited, though papa says I'm worth
my weight in gold. / will now en-
deavor to give you a slight pen-picture
of myself: 1 am % years of age;
height, five feet and three and one-half
inches; weight, $50 pounds; my bust
measure is Sc inches; my waist Il
inches; I wear No. 8 shoe and No.
81 glove; have sweet, loving dispo-
sitlon; am passionately afectionate,
kind and gentle; have fair complexion,
round face, pretty blue eyes and au-
burn hair, and quite curly. / am of
rather a lively disposition, and was
raised in Bourbon county; have lived
on farm most of my life, but moved
TO this city FIVE years ago and have
resided here ever since. Was born
and raised In Kentucky, the grandest
spot on earth. / have sweet home
In the suburbs of this city, everything
pleasant and attractive around me-
Have loving father and mother and
three brothers and five sisters, but out
of the eight there are but three at
home and nine months of the year l
anu absent also, as
I FOLLOW TEACHING,
80 there is but two left at home. Three
sisters are married but no broth
ers. / have q brother-in-law
that owns one of the largest dry goods
stores in this city; another in Blank
county that is q fourishing farmer,
and the other has lately moved to
Blank from this place and occupies
n very important position in that
place a. book-keeper for enc of the
krms IN the city. He was formerly
n professor, having taught large