Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1886-11-12
HUM0Rs OF TIE BAR.
Nautical Talk on the witness stand
Winning Over the Coiored
Brother. Etc.

Brother. Etc.
Mr.. Charles Dudley Warner who CON
iucts the Editors Drawer department OF
darper's Magazine, includes in his latest
anecdotes the following:
There is n lawyer i'm Boston who is in
the habit at times Of addressing individual
iurymen when inattentiye or restless, and
sometimes his argumentum ad homiuem is
effective. Some time ago he was trying
a case against a street railway company,
and there was an old sailor on the jury
who seemed 10 give no heed To what either
counsel said. The lawyer made his most
eloquent appeals, hat all in vain. Finally
he stopped in front of the sailor and said.
"Mr. Juryman, ! will tell you inst how
this happened The plaiuliii was in com
mand OF the outwo"d-houud open ear, and
stood in her staIboard channels Along
came the inward bound close car and just
as their bows met she jumped the track,
sheercd to port, and knocked the plaintiff
off and ran over him" Tho sailor was all
attention after this version of the affair
and joined in IA $1,000 verdict for the in
jurcd man.
Another time he was trying q case
against the city of Lawrence for a stout
woman of rather nprcposscSsing appear
ance. Right behind the foreman sat q
colored jurymau who would weigh nearly
three hundred pounds The defect in the
street was very slight, and the Colored
man evidently took no stock in the claim.
Argument, persuasion, and pathos were
alike lost on him. Then the lawyer, who
Is rather n small-sized man, said: "Nr
Foreman, the effect was very slight, but
the streets of the city should be safe for
all classes of people, the rich and the poor
the old and the young, the slight and the
stout. You are slender, and II you had
been there you would not have fallen but
you see that the gentleman behind You
and are Just about of a build. Now we
!. and this poor woman have just rs good "a
light in the street as you have The
legro's face frightened mp, and when The
Jury retired he per-istcnuy voted for a
million dollars damages, until at last he
was induced TO agree with the others on
moderate verdict.
Many years ago there was n judge IN
Boston who was more noted for his sound
judgment and great knowledge OF law
than for his courtesy TO counsel or sutton
One day at the opening of a term of his
court Il large number OF gentlemen drawn
as Jurors begged 10 he excused from scry-
Ing. As one after another gave his reasons
frown began to grow on the Judges face
Another mani asked TO be let oil.
"What for.'
al can not hear readily, aud am afraid
may not get all the evidence"
"How long have you been deaf" asked
the Judge, in a low tone
"About ten years
''Can you hear an ordinary converse
.ion?-can you hear me uowW slid the
Judge, dropping his voice almost 10 a
whisper.
"Oh yes, sir, can hear YOU
The judge looked sternly at him fun
minute. Then nc said "Air. Clerk, cX-
.use this man. Ii ne is deaf We don't
want him, and if he is a liar we don't want
him"
No more excuses were made that day.
AT another time IN eminent lawyer was
arguing a case before the judge, who grew
impatient and said
'Your point is perfectly understood by
the Court; please make your argument as
short a. possible
81 am making it rs short rs possible,
said the lawyer as he proceeded.
After few minutes the Judge inter
rupted him again, saying, "A'ou are taking
too much time; we have many cases To-
hear; and want you to understand that
am sitting here for the dispatch OF
business"
al beg your pardon said the old law.
yer bowling low. Il thought your honor
was sitting here TO administer justice"
He was suffered to proceed.