davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

whats the snow good for, any way7" was the
petulanJ question one young lady asked OF another
as they were carefully picking their way through
the sluSh on the street crossings OF PENNSYLVANIA
avenue the other day. Well &c smashed In the
roof or several skating rink, in various parts OF
the country lately. That's something 10 IFS
credit, certainly. And the thick snow fail on
the roofs OF the neighboring buildings prevented
an extensive cOntagration in Washington when
Lincoln Hall was destroyed by fire last Saturday
night That's something more. Cleaning Off door
STEPS and sidewalks Is a WEAKNESS OF the flesh,
TO be SURE and sluah Is intolerable; but, for all
that, snow isn't wholly depravel. even IL one
doesn't happen 10 own a horse and sIeirh
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

ii Is not cheerful news. By any means. that ono
third OF the fund OF twelve hundred doIars svais-
Bile for clearing the Snow from the sidewalks IN
'front.' OF government property in Washington. is
already spent In getting rid OF the effects OF si,e
snow storm We may nave a dozen more. eoually
heavy. before the season Il over, and the danarr-
ment clerks who figure on tn, pay rolls as labor
ers can thus be given another chance to d1stip-
salsh themselves as members OF a shovel brl gade
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11
CHRrsrxAs, CHn1srxAs,
HOLIDAY PRESENTS.
NOW OPEN FOR INSPECTION.

CHRIsrMAsl CHRIsTxAsi Z
HOLIDAY PRESENTS.
NOW OPEN FOR INSPECTION.
EGG. DAVIS.
tie MAnKfr SPACE,
Corner 6th Street.
GIFTS FOR LADIRs. GENTLEMEN AND chill
DREN. SOME USEFUL, SOME ORNAMENTAL
NOVELTIES THAT NO OTHER HOUSE CAN SHOW
OUR BUYER has bssn ssst md found WONDERFUL
BARGAINS.
Stock Of Goods surpssses any former season.
Staple Goods, such - LACE HANDxERCHIRFs
PELERINEs and REAL POINT DUCHESS LACE
best assortment in the city and at prices that viii sur
prise you.
PLAIN, COLORED AND EMBROIDERED HAND
KERCHIEFS, from the cheapest to the finest.
KID, FUR TOP SILK AND THREAD GLOVES
BLACK SILK HOSIERY at about half regular prices.
RIBBONS, TIDES, FANS, &C., &c.
What would be nicer than handsome BLACK SILK
DRESS FOR PRESENT, we have the BEST STOCK
IN TOWN to select from.
FINE TABLE LINENS. NAPKINS AND TOWELS
MUFFs AND FUR TRIMMING, full stock.
GLORIA AND SILK UMBRELLAS. choice NEW
STOCK. bought especially for holiday gifts.
Be sure and see our stock before making purchases
ROCK BOTTOM PRICES
719 MARKET SPACE,
diet AJorner 9Th Street.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

senators ingalls, and Van Wyck have been en-
trusted with duty worthy OF all their skill as
Lawmakers and law-eXpounders, In the investtga-
ton OF the affairs Of the Georgetown gasght COM
pany 1t Is absurd on its face that on one side OF
Rock creek the private consumer should pay two
dollars and twenty-five cents net for thousand
feet OF gas while on the other side, few yards
distant like service, bad though 1t be, is furnished
at one dollar and twenty 1--WE cents. Here is
difference Of nearly one hundred per centum; and
yet the Washington company fiourfshes and pays
big dividends 10 Its stockholders The Georgetown
company is less extensively run. 1t does not en-
plOy such retinue OF officers and CLERKS it occu-
pies less costly quarters and its bills probably
paid with as much promptness those OF the
Washington company. The quality OF its gas is
certainly warrant FOR the high price it charges
The complaint OF gas companies every
where, when questioned about high rates,
is that there Is not enough patronage to
JUSTIFY a reduction and keep business on
paying basis. This Is setting the effect before
the Cause. It Is the policy OF other merchants
who have the comforts OF life TO sell 70 win patron
age by putting prices down 70 point where every
body feels that nc afford TO buy. In the large
city o. Brooklyn, about ten years ago, the charge
fOr gas was three dollars 4 thousand feet ard the
people rose In revolt They held meetings. and
signed pledges 70 give up the use OF gas and re-
turn 10 oil; and 80 widespread was this movement
that the gas companies found their revenues cut
down 10 n point where bankruptcy stared them in
the face The people Won their fight, and the
price fell 70 figure nearer reason. West Wash
tngton has not so large population OF light
consumers as Brooklyn, but a general change
there from gas to ell woul1 stand the local gas
company Oh its head in short order II had there
fore better resign itself The inevitable without
delay, and save Congress the trouble Of interior
ing in behalf OF long-sufferfng community.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11
SALE Or CHR1srxAs

SALE Or CHRISTMAS LINENS.
Second week of the grand sale Of Table
Linens Napkins. Doylies. Table Cloths. Tray
Covers Lunch. Dinner and Tea Cloths and Sets
Never before We're better able to give YOU
full value for every cent expended i'll this de-
part1nent. To-day we cell attention 20 the fol-
lowing good values il
LINEN CLOTHS AND SETS:
Bleached and Cream German Linen Damask
Frjnged Table Cloths. coiored borders, excellent
qualities
2-yart,s long. only 81. 90 each.
~ yards long, only S3.:i0 each.
3 yards long only 81 90 each
By yards long. only 81 80 each.
4 yards long. only 800 each.
Bleached German Linen Damask Frin0ed
Table Sets (cloth and doyliesl. combed fringe,
handsome patterns. extra fine quality.
, yards long only $3.50 per set.
~ yards long. only 81 30 per set.
3ycri,s long only 30 80 per set.
81 yards long, only $1,000 per set.
TWO SPECIAL VALUES IN DOYIIES
No ESQ dozen As Bleached ard Cream
German Linen Dai,iask Doyies plain white and
colored borders, extra fine quality, only 81 per
dozen.
No 1900 dozen 5-S Bleeched German Linen
Da,nask Doylies colored borders, extra fine
quality, only $l.25 dozen.
(Next to Pennsylvania avenue entrance.)
dill WOODWARD LOTHROP.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

We have just opened 100 pieces of fine Jersey
Stripe Flsnnels IN more than 60 different STYLES
Of stripes in from to 5 distinct colorings aud
sAadtnee. Ught aud dark effects mostly wsr1n
o0loFs,. These goods are very elastic. and can be
washed without lie losing that color, beauty
and elasticify for which II Il noted. Particularly
egspesd Tor chtldren's garments, caps, sacaues
Stoaks, aghans, gpwns, opera clOaks, house
dresses, wTappefs-in fact, wherever warmth
and durability combined in light fabric Il de-
S7-tnches wide, only Soc. per yard.
(Third floor: tske elevator)
WOODWARD & LOTHROP
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11
Notice.

Persons RENTING postage stamps in payment Of SUBJ
scrption advertising requested to send OF
slarrer denomination than TWO CENTS. Those Of
greater value cannot be used and will be returned
IL ssnders
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11
WANTED--HOUSES.

WANTED-TO RENT A HOUSE OF ABOUT TEN
w rooms In upper part Of Georgetown, or in north
west section good repair rent $40 to $50. Address
NAVAL OFFICER, Star Office. dl 1-3ts
VNANTED-PART OF HOUSE IN A LOCALITY
w convenient for social purposes for two three
months from January list. two bed rooms and two
rooms suitable drawing rooms aud small for
maid Address s. B. L.. 81 Mercer ST.. New Yorkd1eo3t
WANTED-A HOUSE OF q OR \ ROOMS ON
w northwest or Capitol Hill Address, stating terms
". L. NJ, Star office. dlO-6ts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11
WANTED-ROOMS.

EOR RENT-THREE ROOMS ON SECOND FLOOR,
L partly furnished, suitable for housekeeping; mod
ern improvements; references required. Inquire AT
New York ave. IT.
WANTED STORY ROOM. BETWEEN
w 9TH and 18th sits. and Pernsylvania and K at
NV Address, stating terms, ST uDENT Star office. It,
WANTRD-A PHYSICIAN WISHES TO RENT
w Rooms (psrloF door) suitable for offices; To-
cation from 18th to 18th and from F to SITS. W.
Address DOCTOR r." 1921 r Ct NV dlO-3ts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

Con. 18TH Aspa Con 18TH AND 9.
a Y 4 { I. III J: ::
w T. +. {. = =
GLOVES
Every hind and style torn.
UNDERWEAR.
Choicest lines ever shown.
NEcKwRAR.
All the new ana popular things.
HOSIERY.
Silk, Merino, Cashmere, Cotton. etc.
UMBRELLAS.
No Job lots, but our own selected goods.
TYssOw sKI BROS.
Corner Of 18th and G streets.
SHIRTS TO MEASURE
Fit and style inimitabls.
NINE. j. p. PALMER
HOY STREET NORTHWEST.
IMPORTER,
VIII show the coming week
NOVELTIES IN
HIGH CLASS BONNETS
FOR RECEPTION AND EVENING WEAR,
Also.
COSTUME BoNNETs AND HATS
d11 FOR TAILOR-MADE SUITS.
FoR THr Ho11DAYs
KID GLOVES FROM Is 81 Gpo g BUTTONS AT COST
AMP HA BEE IS 6 sAbs IN STOCK AND
HANDSOME FANS AT REDUCED PRICES.
MRS NJ j. HUNT.
dill 1900 ST. NV.
New IDEAS
FOR CHRISTMAS.
We have had made specially for US thousand hand
some boxes wherein Christmas presents may be be-
slowed with the appreciation of the recipients We
have done this to increase the popularity of our
FURNISHING DEPARTMENT.
already SO popular without adding to the price of
contents Of the boxes themselves.
Now for the sums in addition:
Mems All. Linen Hdkfs, in box. so cents.
Mems All Linen Hdkfs. 3 in box, 80 cents
Mems Linen Bordd Hdkfs., 3 in a box, so cents.
Mems Fancy Hemstitched do. 2 in box SO cents.
Mems White Silk Initial Hdkfs in box, so cents
Mems French Henstitched Hdkfs, 3 in q box, 81.
Mems French Hemstitched Hdkfs, 2 in box, 81.
THE PRICE
decides the quality, and have everything you
call for in handkerchiefs
From II cents to So.
PRESENTATION sUsPENDERs,
RICHLY EMBROIDERED.
ONE PAIR IN BOX,
SO. rs and So cents and 81, 81 25. 81 so to $3.50.
GENTLEMEN's NECKwEAR.
One thousand. 1--WE are guessing at the quantity really
rather more in number than stated, scarfs of the
richest silks and satins in handsome presentation
boxes.
From so cents to $1.85.
LONDON HOUSE COATS
AND JACKETS.
Another invoice Of these handsome and doubly pre-
sentable articles just in. Domestic goods do not
pete either in styles prices Styles way up prices
way down. Now on first floor for convenience of ladies
shopping.
-
Presents in brown paper parcels detract appreciaby
from the pleasure, both Of bsstowsl and receiving
saint i'll crepe is twice saint in lawn We have pro-
vded these handsome boxes with considerable cost to
us, but with none to YOU
FIRST FLOOR,
LOWER ENTRANCE,
300, 300, 3O4. 3OG AND 3Os 7TH ST,
dill SAKS & COMPANY.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

A struggle for social precedence is consistent
enough with other systems OF government, but it
does seem funny under q democracy such as ours
aims and assumes TO be. The great question agi-
tating official circles this winter Is understood to
be whether the wives OF Cabinet members are to
go into and out OF door before the wives OF Sena-
tors, or something OF that sort. II may promote
the convenience of social intercourse TO have these
matters of etiquette definitely settled; but outside
OF official life. where there is as much partygong
AMI dinner-giylng as inside, people get along very
We'll without such a settlement, trusting to each
Others good sense good taste and general courtesy
The death OF the Queen OF Siam by drowning, be-
cause there was nobody present OF sufficient rank
TO be permitted 10 pun her out OF the water, is
comparatively recent incident illustrative OF the
extremes to which distinctions of caste and rank
can be carried. As a foil TO its tragic character
may be recalled the familiar story or the Queen OF
France, who nearly caught her death OF
cod by standing undreSSed in her chilly
bedchanber while two OF the court danes argued
the ques n which OF them had the better right
10 hand her robe. And the father OF Frederick
the Great is said TO have beaten two OF his privy
councillors with his cane because they wasted
some minutes In bowling and scraping to each
other at the entrance TO his cabinet after he had
sent them word that he desired their presence at
once. Matters here may not reach either a fatal
pass, as In siam, or so ridiculous a length as In
France and Prussia; but the entering wedge does
rs own share In every progressive movement.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

TH1RrY-r1rrH ANNUAL ANNOUNCE
MENT.
SANTA CLAUS HEADoURrERs.
We pleased to inform our customers and the
pubic that we have the
Largest and Most Varied Assortment Of
TOYS. FANCY GOODS AND NOVELTIES
To be found in any store south of New York. at the
very Lowest Prices.
FANCY GOODS. FANCY GOODS.
NOVELTIES. NOVELTIES.
PLUSH GOODS. PLUSH GOODS.
LEATHER GOODS. LEATHER GOODS.
BRASS GOODS. BRASS GOODS.
WAGONS. vELOCIpEDEs.
BICYCLES. TRICYCIES
HOBBY AND SPRING HORSES.
Oh. PERT,
Importer and Manufacturer
| all 4O3-4O5 eth st. NV,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11
WANTED--BOARD.

WANTED-A GENTLEMAN OF QUIET HABITS
w would like good board and furnished room heat
agreeable disposition Give terms. which must be
reasonable, aud location Address B. R. Star office.
G10-ots
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

EoR RENr-sTABfE IN REAR OF 1872 1874
u nv, contains stalls, box STALL wafer gas aaa1
4HoS. J. FISHER 90,
do-0t 1924 st nv.
EoR RENr-LAA0E NEW rwosTORy BRIcx
Il Stable In alley near Franklin school; Ill modern
improvements; can accommodate several horee1 a.
c4rHnG1 and c0schnen. Rent modegate y W.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1886-12-11

IL Nov ready the best SELECTION ever o6ered
9th Ut. NV. no
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
HUMANITY.

Wrinkled ard gray, tattered and torn,
Battered and tossed by the pitiless scorl,
Under the frost-btten pauper sod
Bury him deep, leave him to God
Erect no stone above his breast;
His names unknown-no matter the rest.
p,ot,o ,,o,,,, ,ott,,,. ,,,,,,.s ,,,,,,., .,,,,,.,,
1tpooI ~ ,.o,,r ,,,,,,i,s T., s,,o,,,, n,,,,,
,r,,r, g., ,i,o I,a.,, s,,,, ,.a,,r fnoa
pnmo,nI,,r ti,ts r,,,rn ,.a,, s,.,T.o ,;l ,,,,oo
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
COULDN'T STOP THAT BOY.

Romeyn, Montclair, N. J. boy, aged
five, converses with his friend of equally
mature years, as follows:
Romeyn-My pa is going to get me a
goat.
Fairchild-Fve got 20 goats
R.-Where are they?
F.-Oh, they're down in New York
in pas office.
R.-Why don't they bring them here?
F.-They're sick.
A pause. Finally Romeyn speaks:
I saw Anthony's Nose last summer.
Fairchild-I saw Anthony himself.
R.--Anthony's Nose is a rock, and it
broke off and fell into the water,
FL saw it fall,
Romeyn's mother,an interested listen
er, at this point deemed it expedient to
interpose with a moral lesson. 'Why,
Fairchild," said she, did you never hear
of Ananias and Sapphira?"
FL knew them both.
RS. mother-You know, Fairchild,
they were struck dead for telling lies.
F.-Yes, saw them struck.
RS. mother-Faircbild, do YOU know
where they went?(Very impresslvely)-
They went TO hell.
FL know it, saw them go.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
A VERY NATURAL MIsrARE.

A gentleman who had just arrived
from Boston last Sunday evening
dropped into a church on his way to a
hotel while the minister was describing
the glories of heaven.
"Nlust bea beautiful place, Whispered
man in the same pew.
Beautiful replied the Bostonian,
"beautiful is no name for it. | left
there this morning"
Left heaven this morning?" said his
amazed neighbor.
"Ileayen2 Is he describing heavenP'
Certainly"
'Well, I'll be eyerlastingly American
lied if l didn't think he was describing
Boston,"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
Very Remarkable ReooYerY.

Mr.. Geo. V. Willing. of Manchester,
Mich, writes: my wife has been
almost helpless for five years, so helpless
that she could not turn over in bed
alone. She used two bottles of Electric
Bitters, and is much improved, that she
is able now to do her own work"
Electric Bitters will do all that is
claimed for them. Hundreds of testi-
monials attest their great curative
powers. Only fifty cents bottle by L.
ID. Thomas.
A word of kindness is seldom
spoken in vain-it is a seed which even
dropped by chance springs up a flower,
Calm the disorders of thy mind by
rejecting on the wisdom, equity and
absolute rcctitudc of His proceedings.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
OLD MIDDLETON.
AN OLD NEGRO WHOSE AFFLlCr1oNs
DID NOT TEACH TRJ-TUFI'I,NESS,

DID NOT TEACH TRCTHFULNESS,
Old Middleton walked slowly along
the street. 1t had been some time since
his last visit to the city, and he looked
with an air of interest of every little
/ improvement that had been made since
the last time he had honored the Capital
Of Arkansas by mingling with its inhabi
tants. Occasionally, though, the old
man would cease Ills inspection of i'm
provements, scratch his head, and sur
render himself to meditation which
seemed to be fruitful of great perplexity.
"Why, how are you, Middleton" said
the Secretary of State.
had been suddenly aroused from a sound
sleep, and said:
"Howdy, Mars 'Lias; howdy sah."
"Where do you keep yourself? l
haven't seen you for some time"
81 stays mighty close, now, Mars
'Lias. l KANT walk like ulster could.
Some time ergo broke the spring bone
In one of my heels"
"You did what?"
II says that l broke de spring bone in
one O. my heels, sab. What yer laugbin'
atp Aim yer got no more feelin' den
ter laugh at er pusson's flickshun? Is
dat de way der Dimmercrats gwineter
do jes' ease da's in de powcr?"
81 was not laughing at your atlliction,
Uncle Middleton"
Den whut yer laughin' at?"
"At the idea of man having a spring
bone in his heel"
"Mebbe yer doan' blebe It,"
"Of course I don't"
"Wall, dat's whar yer shows yer
ignunce, Mars Las; an now, ter be
plain wild yer, L doan see wharfo' da
'lected yer to sich er 'portant office Yer
oughter know better den ter talk dat
way. Er deer an or man bof hab got
spring-bones in der heels"
''What is the shape of the spring.bone
in mans heel?'
"Wall, it's sorter like de back spring
o er knife. It's de fines metal o. any
bone in de human 'natomy, sab, an ei
it want fur dem springs, folks woul'
walk jes like da had wooden laigs; da
woul'. sab, fur or fack."
'How did you break one of youl
springs?'
"Well, sab, wuz chasin' de haug,
outer de fieP an in jumpin' ober er fence
| struck my heel ergin er stump. Snap
went the spring an l gunter turn roun
an roun' like er steamboat wild one
wheel smashed. l knowd den dat my
bes' days wuz done ober."
Couldn't you have another spring
made?"
81 thought l could, an l ployed e
cullud gennerman whut wuz er might.
fine 'zishun. He said dat he had mad,
one outer steel fur er white man, bu
after tinkerin' round fur er while an
chargin' me $40, he gin up de jaub an
ouit.D
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
By Mere Accident.
DT LIZZIE LYONS.


In her miserable attic room Ethel
Dare, young girl of II, was preparing
to go to her days work. The air was
white with frost and everything she
touched seemed turned to ice. She had
burned her last lump of coal the night
before, and, consequently. could not
have any fire. She went to the cup
board-nolhing there; she searched
everywhere, and finally found a crust Of
bread. This she tried to eat, in the vain
hope that it would allay the gnawing
hunger.
Putting on her threadbare shawl and
descending the attic stairs, she started,
stiff and breakfastless, to face the cold.
She was employed at one of the large
dry goods stores where, every Saturday
night, she was handed an envelope con-
tanning just $3.50 as a remuneration for
her life of toll and hardship.
Six months before her mother had
died, and, as Ethel had no money, She
had been compelled to apply to the
authorities for burial by the city, where
she and the woman from whom she rent
ed were the only mourners.
Mrs. Dare in her grlhood had been
the only daughter of very wealthy
wholesale merchant, and was petted and
spoiled by her only brother, but she had,
against her fathers wishes, married a
worthless, prohigate fellow, and he had
disowned her. She soon became Wild
ow, and appealed to her father for as
sistance. which was ignobly refused in
the harsh and cruel terms that "she had
made her bed, now let her lie in it. ="
She never wrote again, but strove to
work for her little girl and herself and
keep the wolf from the door, On her
death-bed she told her daughter her
whole sad story, and implored of her
never to marry drunkard. Ethel had,
very unfortunately for one in her station
in life, inherited her mothers great
beauty, consisting of large blue eyes,
golden curls and perfect features.
She had meanwhile reached the store,
and after an interminably long day of
dull monotony and dreary work prepared
to return TO her miserable attic.
1t was a cold, bitter night in midwin-
ter; the streets of New York were one
sheet of snow and ice, and more than
one warmly clad person, as they turned
the corner and faced the wind, sleet,and
snow, hurried along, grasping their
wraps more tightly about them, and
cast one sympathetic thought for the
poor unfortunates who had no place to
go as a scene of a cheerful wife, warm
supper, and pleasant fireside passed be-
fore their gaze.
The people were hurrying, or rather
Sliding along, as ii was an utter impos-
sibility to walk, for after one thought
they had a good foothold and could
manage to maintain their equilibrium
there would be an ignominious fall OF
dignity, as, with an ejaculation of "Oh,
myW they would go slipping down.
In front of one OF the elegant houses
on 9TH avenue there was place unusu-
ally slippery, where at least dozen that
night had fallen. A little black-robed
figure, in which we recognize our friend
Ethel, now made her appearance, and
in her haste stepped right on the slip
perry spot, which was followed, as many
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
What Is It-what 1t Does.

Hoods Sarsaparilla is made of sarsa-
parilla, dandelion, mandrake, cherry
bark, IVA ursi, dock, ami other valuable
medicinal agents long and favorably
known for their power in eradicating
disease and purifying the blood. 1t will
cure, when in the power of medicine,
scrofula, salt rheum, dyspepsia, head
ache, constipation, biliousness, general
debility, pain in the back, kidney COM
plain, catarrh, female weakness, cancer
Gus humors, humors of the face, ring
worm, pimples, ulcers, sores, tumors,
scald head, and all diseases arising
frori an impure state or low condition
of the blood Hoods Sarsaparilla is
made by c. /. Hood & Co., Lowell,
Mass. Sold by all druggists; 81, six
for 50,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09

--Estheticism is nothing new to the
goat. From the earliest history he is
known to have been just so awfully
all butt.
Murder in the high seas" said
Jones to friend as they were listening
to the performance of poor tenor.
Our alarms are much more numer-
Gus than our dangers; and we suffer
much more in apprehension than we do
in reality.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09

of course when man is sound and
well he don't care n copper for all the
medicine on the face of the earth. He
has no use for it. But when disease is
eating his life ont he wants the right
prescription and he wants it right away,
For that reason all who know what DIR.
Kenncdy's Favorite Remedy is turn to
that for help, and it never disappoinls
them. And it is just as beneficial to
new friends as it is to old ones. Pleas
ant to the palate, and gentle in its
action.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09
BOUND TO HAVE A SWIM.

A gentleman OF our acquaintance tells
us the following good story, which goes
10 show that the average Austin boy has
what Mrs, Partington would call ''ju-
dicious" mind. He, the boy, wanted TO
go swimming.
"But, my son." rejoihed the anxious
parent, swimming is unhealthy. II
was only this morning that you were
complaining of pain in your stom.
ach."
"That's so, pa; but know how 70
swim on my back"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1886-01-09

Carlyle says, "Laughtermeans SYM
pathy." This will bring comfort to the
man who has tread on banana peel.
A New York photographer alleges
that women now wear false eyebrows,
false eye-lashes, and an artificial neck
and throat. He is evdentlya a fals-ilier,