Morning journal and courier., 1886-07-17
ECATHENG.

A Boston journal for the blind contains g scathing screed against decollete dresses Texas Siftings. "Where is the best place to get fat2' asked thin housekeeper of neighbor. ''Al over,'' was the unexpected reply.-Pittsbure Chronicle-Telegraph Travellers complain of the slowness of rail
 road trains in Maine. They should remem.
 Der that it is no particular object to reach 6
 station in Maine.-Burlington Free Press. Annie and Emily are enjoying their first
 bath in the glorious surf at Old Orchard. It
 began to ram while they were in the water.
 Emily started to wade ashore. "Where are you
 going?" asked Annie. 'tAfter ruy rubbers, y
 said Emily.-Harper's Bazar.
 "No,'' said the Vermont man, who was shot in the head by his friend while they were out hunting, lost the most of an ear and was considerably scratched, "I don't mind the wound so much, but it breaks my heart to have my head mist aken by my most in- innate friend for polecat." Another Idol Broken.-Now comes an iconoclast and says that s'there is a colored man who lives at Mt Vernon, where George is buried, and he told lady that once there was little slave boy named Ike, who lived in MT. Washingtons family, and that what George really said was: T cannot tell lie, father; Ike did it, but that the father didn't near BCTa1SuG. NEW 1Orh IOSL. A man who had not heard of the death of certain Republican congressman asked a friend about him the other day. "Ah," re- piled the friend sadly, Che has joined the great majority" Administration, blurted out the inquirer, Syou don't mean to say he has gone over to the Democrats?' "Oh, no; he's dead" "Oh," was the reply in a re lieved tone, ''Pm glad to hear it. I banked good deal on that mans fidelity. ."-Wash ington Critic.
 The venerable Aunt Becky, who lives away up in the country, is famous for her piety and attends all the prayer meetings at the
 village meeting house. She never fails to put in fervent prayer, which avails just as
 much, being "prayer of the righteous" as if.Aunt Becky did not continually mix her
 metaphors The other night at prayer meet
 ing the old lady inserted this sentence into
 her prayer: "Pm a poor wanderin' sheep and
 I think it's high time for me to pull for the shore. "-Boston Record. Some time ago teacher in charge of a
 school in West Georgia county was ap-
 preached by pupil and requested to explain
 the meaning of t49 B. O." The teacher read
 the sentence in which the hieroglyphics oc-
 cured, and observed that it referred to an
 incident that had taken place in a remote
 period. "Ahem!" he said, "them fggers an
 them letters is frequently found ill history
 books. You see, a long time ago, folks didn't know s much s we do, an they sorteT guessed at dates Now, '49 B. C. means 49 bout correct. ."-Atlanta Constitution. WOULD MAKE THINGS LIVELY. If were railroad brakeman I'd holler the stations plain That the man who was going to Texas Would go clear through to Maine. I'd open the door of the smoking car And I'd give such mighty roar
 That the passengers back in the sleeper Would all fail out on the floor; For couldn't afford a tenor voice, And couldn't afford to speak In the sweet soft tones of Eoian harpS For eleven dollars week
 If were baggage-master I'd rattle the trunks about; I'd stand them up in the corner
 And I'd tear their bowels out,
 would pull the handles out by the roots,
 1 would kick their ners in,
 And strew their stufffng all round the car.
 And make them lank and thin.
 For I couldn't afford to wear kid gloves Nor put soft pads my feet,
 Nor to handle things gently when all my pay Just keeps me in bread and meat.
 If were railroad conductor,
 As through the train I'd go,
 I'd have for every question they d ask This answer all ready: Don't know.
 Id miss connections for lots of men, I'd run lone passengers past;
 I'd tell them twas eight when 1 knew twas ten, And I'd swear their watches were fast. For couldn't afford ts be civil When knew every man in the load Would look at my watch and ri@ g and say
 He stole them things from the road -PittSbury Sunday Globe,