The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1886-07-24
The next visitor who took the vacant
chair that sat in front of the village ed
itnr,s deSk smoke as follows.


itor's desk spoke as follows:
Il stopped in to-day, sir, to tell you
that l do not want your paper any
longer. In some respects it is good
paper, but you do not print enough
news matter. You should have full
page of news at least. don't care any
thing about your protective tariff and
your tariff for revenue only, or anything
of that sort. | want the news when l
take paper. I want full account of
the murders and suicides and railroad
collisions and divorce cases. Don't
send me the paper any longer. I'll
come in and pay you what I owe you
when l have sold my corn; good day.
And then there was light step at the
door, and person wearing severe
countenance and a shawl came in and
took the vacant chair.
Il am very sorry,' he said, in measur-
ed tones, and with fixed and critical
stare at the end of the editors nose-I
am very sorry to notice that you are
giving in your columns so little atten-
.ion to the cause of Prohibition-the
noble cause of Prohibition. You must
rouse yourself upon this great question
and give your readers page of it week
ly. I am not subscriber to your pa
per, but 1 borrow it every week of my
neighbor and 1 loan him the Banner Of
Light in exchange. So you will observe
that I have been one of your faithful
readers and know just where you fall
short of making a good newspaper. I
will leave you few tracts from which
you should make liberal extracts from
time to time. You will notice that this
one entitled, Dash the Cup Away!' is
written by myself. You are at liberty
to print it in full. And when I come
across anything particularly good in the
columns of the Banner Of Light I'll cut
it out and send it around to you. You
have grand opportunity to make your
paper grow in circulation and influence,
and hope you will come boldly to the
front on the right course and no longer
continue to devote your valuable space
to trivial matters. By the way, have
you a few exchanges that you are done
with? All, that will do; thanks; good
day.
In the door the man in the shawl
passed a person with merry twinkle in
his eyes.
Il like your paper-it is frst-rate, he
said, as he dropped into the vacant
chair, Except that it does not contain
humor enough. Why don't you fill her
full of jokes and bright things by the
funny fellows and make your readers
laugh? Nobody cares cent for those
political editorials and those scientific
articles, and that stuff about the tariff
you print. That puts me to sleep.
Give us a plenty of jokes to shake a
mans liver up and let the tariff take
care of itself. That's all. Be in to
see you again when I've more time; ta,
ta.'
The next person who took the vacant
chair had countenance as solemn as a
secondhand hearse. He didn't look
as if he had smiled more than once in
forty years, and the village editor took
him for an undertaken who wanted to
advertise a patent embalming process
and pay in trade.
Sir said the solemn man, after 81
lence that became very painful to the
village editor. Il am grieved to notice
the tone levity that has recently perva-
ded the columns of your paper, and l
am compelled to ask you on that account
to take my name off your list. You
seem to forget that this is world of
calamity and woe, and that spirit of
levity in the press is unseemly, and
tends to draw attention from the solemn
realities of life and the near proximity
of death. Last week you declined to
print my article entitled: Reflections
on the Crave alleging that you did
not have room for it, and then gave up
nearly column of your paper to frivo-
lous jokes. l do not intend to read
anything light this year. That is all l
have to say; good afternoon
The door closed behind the solemn
man and then softly opened again to
admit dreamy-eyed man with poetic
brow and general expression that seem
ed to indicate that he wanted something
he had never had and never expected
to have.
Il merely came in to remark, he be-
gan, as he took the vacant chair, 'that
you are sadly neglecting the literary
department of your paper. l not only
have noticed it myself, but several of
my friends have called my attention to
it. You should by all means run con-
tinued story and have from two to three
good short stories in each issue. Good
stories is the thing that is wanted to
make village paper popular. Every
body you ask will tell you that. A little
news and some local matter and marrl-
ages and deaths should be printed, of
course; but you shouldn't let anything
crowd out the stories. I don't take
your paper, but my brother-in-law does,
and | borrow it of him. l have in
tended for some time to mention this
matter to you, but could never think OF
it when | was in town before. If you
think these suggestions are of any value
to you, you may send me your paper
gratuitously for year. Allow me to
bid you good day, SIR
The dreamy-eyed man went out as
softly as sixty days note falls due, and
a moment later another style of person
dropped into the vacant chair, and spoke
thus in tones that were sharp and quick +:
Il don't think I shall take your paper
another year. You are not making as
good paper as you should with your
opportunities. You are not giving your
readers enough local matter. Local
matter should be the chief feature of the
village paper. Everything else should
be made to give way to local matter. A
story now and then when you have
plenty of room, and a bit of poetry te
please the young folks who are in love
and little news matter are all wei
enough, but if you want to make vii
lace Daper a success, you've got to lie