Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1886-07-07
EVERYTHING.

No party in this country can expect to win
that is not in favor of everything and against
everything Philadelphia Times.
High buildings are not popular in hot
countries. The climb attic influences are
against them.-Nsw Orleans Picayune.
Although this has been thus far an unusu-
ally cool summer, about the usual number of
girls have been son struck.-Philadelph
Herald.
fWhy don't our young men come to the
front?' asks the Christian Advocate. Well,
we don't know what keeps them back, unless
it is the high price of reserved seats.-Bur-
dette.
A western society editor says: "The air is
full Of expeetant bridegrooms. This is in
tended to give the girls appetite for cy-
clones.-New Orleans Picayune.
When er workin' man strikes, in order ter
git de backin' O. de people, he oughter know
whut he's strikin' erbout, and not be like de
bline rattlesnake in August dat strikes ebery
time he hears er noiss.-Arkansaw Traveller.
Said one lawyer, with great contempt, be-
fore he understood the ''reservoir's'' func
ton: Chow many glasses of lager beer can
you drink at one tine?'' The spotter had
just spoken of having had six glasses of
lager in one morning ''One," was the an
swer, and the audience laughed without any
reprimand. Providence Journal.
give the smaller one to your little brother"
James examined the cakes carefully, appear
ed undecided, and finally took heroic bite
out of one them, which he passed over to his
brother with the remark: ''There, Tommy,
I've made you smaller one-they were both
the same size. e."-PhiIadelphia Call.
s'Maude," he said, ,tenderly putting his cane
and gloves and hat down on the floor, twill
you maiwy me.' t'No, SIR" she answered
coldly, ri will not" dob, Maude, think be-
foah you speak," he urged, as he adjusted
his necktie. "Will you be my wifeF' ''No,
sir" she repeated emphatically, 81 won't"
"Aaude,' he murmured, 1you have made
out of sympathy, don't you know" The
way he went out of the house reminded
those who saw it of sensational account of
western cyclone. Washington Critic.
The members of class that had been
studying the rudiments of physiology were
asked to give their impressions on paper of
what they had learned, and one of them
gravely wrote: "Our collar bones situated
under our chins" This idea is certainly
capable of very liberal application. All of
us have seen boys in positions where their
knees were directly under their chins. An
other bright pupil put pen to paper to say:
''If we did not have any backbones we could
not sit down" True enough Who ever
heard of an oyster sitting downa-Boston
Budget.
Speaking of the meanest man in Detroit"
said Snaggs last night, "I1l tell you what l
know of one man right here, and a million
aire ten times over at that. My friend Mr..
Jaggs recently borrowed SO, 900. of him for
80 days at 10 per cent. with good security.
Well, when he came to pay the lender dis
pute about the sum of cents arose, and
Jaggs swore that he wouldn't pay any old
skinhint 2 cents more than was due him.
why he said, you're positively the mean
est man in Detroit to quarrel about cents
That's where you're Mistaken said the
banker Let me introduce you to my
in-law; he'd fight for cent Jaggs declin-
ed the offer with thanks, paid the cents to
the next to the msanest man in Detroit, and
left the Office, glad to have escaped the mean
est man. Detroit Tribune.