Morris tribune., 1886-12-29
Tho New CARPET.


memory of "Miss Anna"
|
The New Carpet.
When one begins to make improve
ments. one cannot tell to what tho
better way will lead, or where it will
end. :, .
The Perkins family were elated.
| The too munificent grandmamma was
about to present them with anew car
pet, and general hilarity pervaded
the household. Papa alone, foresee-
ing in his prudent mind q train OF
logical sequences, feebly protested
against the extravaganza. "But,
John" said the gracious mistress OF
the household, cit is q present from
your mother. How can you call it an
Extravaganza" A new carpet! Mrs.
Perkins forthwith pictured the abso-
lutte necessity of total renovation oi
their domestic tabernacle. 1t was
obvious that certain deficiencies did
exist there. ''We must have. these
things attended to; john" said the
gracious lady. "How will they look
with the new carpet?" every well in
deed, my dear, 1 think said Mr.. Per-
kins, amiably.
Mr.. Perkins came home one night
to find his hearth dismantled, his
Lares and Penates huddled together
in an upper room, and all,his woman
kind in the full fury OF .ieopoclasm,
each armed with a. whits~ash brush
and pail of water splashing at the
parlor walls.
"What!" cried Mr.. Perkins, stand
ing aghast at this mystic rite, "what
are you all doing?"
"Why, john" composedly replied
his wife, not suspending her assiduity,
eve must get this paper of, you uknow,
be ore the new onegoes on. I'm sorry
there's no supper for you, but 1
thought, of course, you'd dine ,at the
club, as we arranged this morning
You might as we'll make some perma-
nent arrangement of the sort, for it
will be weeks before we can use the
dining-room."
"Why, what's the matter there?"
said poor Mr.. perkins; 1--WE aren't CO.
ing to put any new carpet in that
room"
81 wish we were," sighed Mrs. Per-
kins; "we really need one there more
than anywhere else, but you know l
told you, John, this morning, that the
roof OF the dining-room leaked like a
sieve, and the paper is entirely ruined,
and the plastering must be repaired
before it can be papered.. Besides,
Bridget says the kitchen floor must be
painted. She won't scour it any more,
She says. And, John, the skylight
leaks, and Mr.. Mason says two states
are off the rolf. He's going to send a
slater tomorrow and a composition
roofer to mend the dining room, and
then, dear, while we are about it.,
don't you think something should be
done about the back yard, so as not
to run up separate bill for that?"
Mrs. Perkins paused in her splaehin9
and looked at her husband with the
| most innocent confidence.
Here, however, Aunt Betsey broke
in with an energetic sniff ofdisapprov'
al. "We'd better fix the inside before
we 90 outdoors. What worries me is
that awful entry carpet. It's worse
than the one in the dining-room, and
where everybody can see it, too. And
that ragged thing on the stairs. It's
a mercy we don't break our necks
every day"
'Papa, DEAR" says Josephine, who
had been waiting for q chance to speak
in her turn, "aren't you going to do
something about the chandeliers,
They are really disreputable, you
know, and will look worse than
ever when our new moulding
is up
"Anew moulding, child" says papa
making a feeble stand, "what are you
talking about? 1t is out of the ques-
ton"
"Ah!" says Aunt Betsey.
"Oh!' says Josephine.
Nonsense, john" says the gra-
cious lady.
"But we'er to have a new cover
for Pink's cushion" pipes up little
Jane "Poor pussy, it's been SO incon-
venient for her to have no place to be
comfortable in but your big chairr'
"And, papa" says Josephine, "why
can't we have q new picture in the
parlor? You know you wouldn't
get me that statuette i'll plate-mail
wanted so much, and so you will have
all the money you would have spent
for that to get the lovely etching we
saw at GoupiIs the other day"
Aunt Betsey winks at mamma and
says aside
Don't say anything obout pictures
till we are sure of the stair-carpet.
Mamma returns, quietly "We shall
get that out of the old carpet sent to
auction; 1 don't believe John has
thought OF that"
Then" says Aunt Betsey, ominous'
ly, 1--WE must have O. booking for the
back room: The carpet won't last
without it,"
"Gracious lady" says papa, with
all Difference to your superior judg'
ment, left me submit that at this rate
we shall have to sell our house to pay
the bills"
"But, John," says mamma, "the
house will sell so much better. Mr..
Wllberforce says we shall get a thous'
and more for it in consequence of these
repairs. ."-Youth's Companion.
Would Not Say 'Damn.'