The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1886-12-23
W.T. AND uUiOR.

did she have on?"-LyHa Uniou.
Customer-"Do BARRIERS find it hard
to raise the wind in these timas?" Bar
ber-'.No, sir. Not if the razor is
sharp."-LoIcsH Citizen.
Employer (to collector)-eSeo NIr.
Smith," Collector-"O, yes" En-
ployer-.Was he annoyed at your call
ing upon him?" Collector-"Not
bit, lie asked me to call again. IN
I. San.
As far as We have noticed there has
been thus far no organized movement
for an increase in .'ihe wages of SIM"
Boston Record. As ..thc wages of sin
is DEATH" viii the Record tell us what
% per cent advance would be?-
LotoeN Courier.
Geronimo is not pronounced Gee
rorimo, but Heeronimo, says a morning
editor. Hood hracious, what is he
hiving us? What hay and hiddy style
of talk this hentlemau would het us in
to. By hosh, we won't have it. Ho
to- Ho Washington Critic.
Sleeping-car porter-"N'hatk kind of =
chance DO ycu think one of US has to
raise in the world and get rich, any
how?' Traveler-"Well, really don't
know: but, Judging from circumstances,
/ should think you had no better oppor-
tunity than bank cashier-not q bit
better"
yes" said husband, sadly, ''my
wife is devotee of the red flag. The
very sight of one arouSes her to high
pitch CT excitement Surely she can
not have any sympathy in common with
such cut-throats. ..Ycs she has"
"What. Anarchists and SociaGsts?"
mo, auctionecrs."
..I see the Socialists of Chicago are IN
fernent," observed the Judge. You
surely are mistaken" replied the Major.
Mistaken! Nothing OF the kind.
Didn't see it in the paper?" Cant
help it if YOU did. Fernent means 10
work, and that's something Socialists
don't do. ."-TihiS5urg Chronicle.
Aunt Matilda-Dear me! that's my
minister, the Rev. Ananias Howier,
knocking, and he does so dislike dogs.
Miss Prettypert-Ncver mind, auntie,
I'll be off; good-by. Aunt M-Well, if
you wouldn't mind, dear! l shouldn't
like Jingo to bite Mr.. Howler. Miss
P.-Certainly not. He's a most un-
whoiesome-looking man.-Fun.
The Eureka (Cal) Brass Band has
received its instruments, but evidently
not its full instruction, as the Sentinel
of that town respectfully requests resi-
dents TO be forbearing for 4 few months
while the members of the band are
practicing. This is construed by some
as an earnest appeal against the organ
ization of Vigilance Committee-M
J. Ford.
Street-Car Philosophy: Calm Con-
ductor-"Can't take that quarter, sirr'
Indignant passenger-'.Fd Ike to know
why notr' C. C.-.'It's too smooth"
s.Welli That's cool! You gave me that
very quarter on this car this morning.
took it from YOU in change" well,
you see, we are more particular than
you are."-Sa1 Fraacisco IFaSp.
.'Get inside, SIR" ordered the brake
man on the Third avenue elevated road.
Passengers are not allowed 10 stand
on the platform. but yol allow
those two men to stand on the plat
form," said the passenger, ''and why
shouldn't l?" Those two gentlemen
are personal friends of mine,' said the
brakeman indignantly.-M. 7. SIN.
Al, these landlords Landlord Ito
tenanO-"How did that door get mutt
lated at the bottom in such an out
rageous manner?" Tenant-sMy dog
: was mad last week. and bit it before
we couid stop him. We were ell away
that dav." Landlord-"Why didn't
Won take that door off the hinges be-
fore you left? Seems to me little more
foresight might be used in some cases"
-Td-BAs.
Some years ago we had an absent
minded wife who lost brass safety pin.
She could not remember whether she
had swallowed it or inadvertently stuck
it in the small OF her back Three years
afterward she complained OF an acuts
pain IN her right arm. Two dsys after
safety pin in tic tray Of an old trunk IN
the attic.-Dctroit Tribune.
Minister dining with the family
"My young friend, you must come one
Of :hcse days and spend an afternoon
with NY little boys" Little Johnny
(Gelighted) can l see the skcl-
e;or, too?" Minister. .:sS;iScletoni Why,
what do you mean?" Little Johnny
(paralyzing the whole company 20,
| heard ma say TO pa that she didn't
know what she'd do if she had such an
ugly skeleton in her closet as you have"
These laugllabIe calls upon library
for books are recorded in the Library
Journal: Santa Claus bounded. "a
bound volume of 81. NichoLGS.) Snow
bier" Uenobia.) ..Pneumonia Sc
ries." ..PhartasInagoria by Hans
Christian Andersen. Cmproyisatore.
Mr. Issac's Tale of Modern India
'.Erskine's Letters on Representative
Hen" .'Gosher's Winter in Russia"
Smith (caressing :. stack of blue
cLips)-.All velvet, boys, every one Of
'ein. It's better TO be born lucky than
rich. Aiy tailor catches NE for a spring
suit tomorrow sure. I'll play one moro
hand aud quit you" Same Smith
CATER The hand is piayed) skies
are go-o-od. They beat an ace full to
dead certainty. Let me have stack
of reds, and I'll give YOU check for
'enl. ~ Y. Times.
One Of the most prominent dairymen
of Orange county, New York, has a
spring on his farm in which for years
he has kept q fine brook trout The
Gairymaa IS a most upright and con-
scientious man, and was grieved TO get
the following note from a New York
man: .'Thc trout you sent me in one
of the cans of milk WIS very fine,
thanks; but wasn't that 2 queer way to
send it:'-ForeSt dad Stream.
A little 5-year-old lady came from
Montpelier TO ST. Adams the other day
with her mamma on visit and after a
hard days work at play was rather
tired. While she was preparing for
bed that night she was pretty cross, and
when told TO say her prayers she re-
fused 10 dc SO. When asked why she
would not pray rs usual she said:
f.A;amma, It isn't any use 10 say prayers
in ST Albansr'-St. -4i5aas Messenger.
Planter-"That's vicious-looking
mule you We got there, PomPey." Pom
pev-.tDat mawel, sab? Dat am enc of
the wondahs OF the world" Planter
'One OF the wonders OF the world?"
Ponpcy-.'Yes. salr; dat inewel spilled
me onten dc wagon yesterday" Plant
cr-'.Is that WHY yoG call him one OF
the wonders Of the world?" Pompey-
Eyes, sab; Pompey's spiiler. You know.
Hah. hah! Gid long dar!'-BoS!0s,
Courier.
Judge-"The officer says you we're
drunk last night and fell down on the
street. Can yen explain that little mat
...r2'' Prisoner with d;r1ity)-.'Ihc