The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1886-12-10
BILL NYE's HEALTH TOUR.
He Starts from Wicked Cincinnati and Bring
Up at a North Carolina Resort.

He Starts from Wicked Cincinnati and Brings
Up at North Carolina Resort.
have recently taken quite railway trip into
the South in search of my health. called my
physicians together, and they decided by a ris-
ing vote that I ought to go to a warmer cline,
or l would enjoy very poor health all winter.
So decided to go in search of my health, if l
died the trail
I bought tickets at Cincinnati of pale, sal
low liar, who is just beginning to work his way
up to the forty ninth degree in the order of Ana
Mas. He will surely be heard from again some
day, as he has the elements that go to make up
a successful liar.
He said that I could go from Cincinnati to
Ashevile, n. c., only one easy change of cars,
and in about twenty three hours 1t took me
twice that, and had to change cars three times
in the dead of night
All night long, except when we were changing
cars, we ratified along over webbing trestles
and third mortgages The cars were graded
from third.class down. The road itself was not
graded at all.
They have the same old air in these coaches
that they started out with. Different people,
with various styles of breath, have used the air
and then returned it. They are using this same
air that they did before the war. 1t is not,
strictly speaking, a national air. 1t is more ot
a languid air. with dark circles around its eyes.
AT one place where / had An engagement to
change cars we had wait of four hours, and
reclined on hair cloth lounge at the hotel, with
the intention of sleeping part of the time
was told that this kind, family lounge,
that would not shy or make trouble anywhere,
and had only just closed my dark red and
mournful eyes in sleep when this lounge gently
bumped itself and shed me as it would it's
smooth. dark. hair in the spring, ira Ia. The
floor caught me in it's great strong arms, and
vaulted back upon the polished bosom of the
haircloth lounge. 1t was made for a man about
fifty three inches in length aud so had to sleep
with my feet in my pistol pockets and my nose
in my bosom up to the second joint
l got so that l could rise off the floor and
climb on the lounge without waking up. 1t got
to be second nature to me- did it just as a man
who is hungry in his sleep bites off large frag-
ments of the air and eats it involuntarily and
smaeks his lips and snorts. So I arose and
deposited myself again and again on that old
ayback, but frolicsome wreck without wax
ing But couldn't get aboard softly enough to
avoid waking the lounge. 1t would yawn and
rumb BILE inside. and rise and fall like the deep
rolling sea, till at last gave up trying to sleep
on it any more, and curled up on the floor.
The hair-cloth lounge, in various conditions of
decrepitude. may be found ali through this
region Its true inwardness is composed of
spiral springs, which have gnawed
These springs have lost none of
their old elasticity of spirits, and cordially
corkscrew themselves into the affections of a
man who sits down on them If anything could
make me thoroughly attached to the South it
would be one of these spiral springs bored into
my person about foot But that is the only
way to remain on a hair-cloth chair or sofa.
No man ever successfully sat on one of them for
any length of time unless he had a strong pair
of pantaloons and a spiral spring twisted into
him for some distance
AT the private house the hair cloth sofa with
pair of dark reserved chairs may be found in a
domesticated state waiting for some one to
come and fall off them. In hotels they go in
larger 1ocks, and Craze together in the parlor.
They greatly in favor among the more blue
blooded mass here-the blue mass, as it were.