The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1886-12-02
WIT AND WISDOM.


Jones-Have you seen the Smiths lately, Browne
Brownies passed their house the other
day, and had chat with old Smith.
Jones-How are they doing?
Br0wn-Yery poorly, I'm afraid.
JOnes-lndeedi what makes you think so?
Br0wn-Well, they have got another dog
Everybody knows that the best remedy known
for coughs, colds ETC., is DIR. Bulbs Cough Syrup
An Invaluable remedy.-I have found Salvation
OIL an invaluable remedy for chapped hands.
E. e. ESTEP, (Painter,) 81 Robert ST., BALTIC
Md.
town Howler?-Happy TO meet you My wife
sent several poems to the Howler In earlier years.
They never appeared, believe
Col. Trump-Possibly not You see, l am com
PEELED TO send back or destroy interesting matter
every gi cay r receive e So m 14 mt
IN the Ho~ler occasionally?
smart Weed and Belladonna combined wifi
the other ingredients used in the best porous
plasters make Carriers S. W. & b. Backache Plas-
tiers the best in the market Price % cents
Bella-Isn't it awful? One hundred Cossacks
lost.
Clara-Quite hardship, no doubt; but then
you know how much worse it would be had they
been Newmarkets Cassocks, you know, haven't
DSSH AdohlVhdblV AVl oOhC titAVs
When tired, worn out, fretful, and nervous, Veg
etine gives new life and energy.
Rich but penurious hostess-I notice that square
seven dozen; but am worried about one point
with regard 10 them.
Hostess-ought to serve round steak on these
square plates?
Friend-That depends There may not be
enough to go round, judging from the dinner you
gave the other day.
The action of Carter's Little Liver Pills is
pleasant, wild and natural. They gently stimu-
late the liver, and regulate the bowels but do
not purge They are sure to please.
EdithSo - A,' NA'' ~ 800
YES, indeed / do, ma'am"
And why do you think II is unlucky?'
We'll, you see, we always have fish on Friday,
ana Just abominate fish"
We devote portion of our space this week to
"Yours for Health" the women's sure friend. Its
popularity is on the increase.
II see you are not on good terms with your old
lawyer" said Carter to Yeast
"No; have my opinion of that man." was the
How much did the opinion cost you, by the
way?"
Lydia X. Pinkhams Liver Pills are far superior
to all others fer bousness and kidney complaints.
20 c, at all druggists.
Lottie-Oh, Amelia just Think Amy Bllfkihs
is married.
Amelia-Do know her, dear?
Lottie-Do you-why. Amelia, don't you remem-
Der at Nassar how you-
Amelia--Oh, yes; that was the little girl to
whom vowed eternal friendship. That accounts
for my not remembering her.
What Is cold in the head? Medical au-
thorites say 1t is due 10 atmospheric germs, un
even clothing of the body, rapid cooling when in
perspration, sc. The important point is, that a
cold in the head is genuine rhtnitts, an nham-
nation of the lining membrane Of the nose, which,
when unchecked, is certain to produce a catarrh-
al condition-for catarrh is essentially "cold"
which nature is no longer able TO resolve" or
throw of. Ely's Cream Balm has proved its SUI
periority. and sufferers from cold in the head
should resort to 1t before that common ailmentbe-
comes seated and ends in obstinate catarrh
A gentleman was sitting in his library the other
day. eating some chestnuts, when book agent
wasushered in. The glib-tonguedIcanvass opened
his book, and as be was rafting at rapid rate
the gentleman to show his hospitality pushed the
dish Of nuts toward him, with the remark to help
himself.
To his great astonishment the agent stopped,
gathered up his books and shot from the room,
only saying;
That's an awful mean way to tell a man to
shut up.D