The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1886-04-29

-OyUuSy DdyTc. LII "a 2tiShCAs-S-
IT'S said that all vessels from China now bring
Willow, tea willow, tea willow;
Which In our estimation Is not the rlsnt
willow, tea willow, tea willow.
And tons upon tons Of leaves pluckec rom
this tree
Have been fixed and disguised by the heather
Chinee
To palm of on this country as genuine tea;
But it's willow tea, willow tea willow.
New Haven Morning News.
He don't play the fiddle, part his hair in the
middle, nor dress ike an Anglican dune'
When he goes 10 party with Melgs OF mc-
Carly, he never Is noisy ana ruue'
He lives in frugality and sweet eonjugalty,
and wants pie but two times a day;
He never eats onions nor treads on your bum
ions, nor growls when you get in his way.
gritty, and has magnificent head;
He's all light and sweetness, he's thorough
completeness, he's perfection In short
Lynn Union.
A correspondent wants to know how
to keep cider from working. Undue it
with Socialistic ideas. Nothing works
that has acknowledgements Repabti-
can.
whats good for a cold, doctor?"
ga draught sirn' Chestnut, doctor!'
''Of hot rum and water, sir. That's
Jest nuts for me, doctor. "-Loa0eU Cttt-
zen.
A New Preston young man playing in
kissing game the other night, kissed
one of the buxom maidens so hard that
she broke his false teeth.-Bridgepor
| Standard.
Mr.. Moses Cohn-"Rachel, put der
emeralds under der green umbrellas in
der won't vinder. It's Saint Batrick's
day and We got to be patriotic. Vas
sagst dup"-Rdmbler.
docs your son affect any particular
school of art?" asked the visitor. mo
-yes-well, he's painting Belladonna
for the religious art gallery" replied
the fond mother.-Er.
Winifred, little 5-year-old girl, hap
| pened one day to see her maiden aunt
take out her teeth and brush them.
| "How old must be, auntie," said she,
"before can do that?"-Boston Record.
Boggs-'I see that blind people are
educated now by means of raised let
ters." Fogg-''That's nothing. Why,
means of raised checks. Chicago
| Rambler.
ouseholder-..What do you want
here? Work?" Needy but naughty So
cialist-'.No; l can get more work than
l know what to do with. Iwant little
beer or its equivalent in coin. Brook
| Ign Eagle.
.sAre you fond of looking at the
stars?" asked Bromley of De Guy.
.'Well, yes,n answered that engaging
| young man, sometimes, but as rule the
chorus is good enough for me- "-Phila-
de1Dhia Call.
A ladies' reading club has spent over
year in perusing George Eliot S
''Romola.n A few days ago one of its
members asked her husband who wrote
"Romola." She hadn't heard at the
club.-Troy Times.
Teacher Master Kirby, you
! should be more correct in your compost
ton. You say: 4 love school, Now
school cannot be loved. Can't you use
a more correct expression?" Master
Kirby-"I hate school. ''-IId-BitS
Visitor-'What! you burn keroseneq
That's odd" Director of gas company
-"Great Scott! you didn't suppose we
could afford TO burn gas, did youp No,
sir; we are no fools. The meter is no
mystery to us. We are in the business. :"
| A Cotton citizen tied one end OF a rope
around his waist the other day, while he
lassoed Texas steer with the other. He
| thought he had the animal, but at the
end of the first l00-yard heat he found
that the steer had him.-San Francisco
| Chronicle.
Judge Gndignantly)-"These sums
which you stole, fruits of long years of
honest work, you squandered in wretch
ed fooleries." Prisoner with emotion)
Il could not keep that money 1t
weighed too much on my conscience. ~
Paris Figaro.
A large crowd had gathered on
Broadway. and seven policemen were
endeavoring to disperse it. II kin make
them tellers move on SAID a small
! boy. Then he shouted, '.Mad dogr' and
| tour OF the seven policemen were badly
injured in the rout that followed.-M Y
San.
Can anybody tell me what game
constable is?' asked the obituary editor.
81 see they have an official with that
title in Rochester, N. Y" THAT must
be the officer who has to be seen bv the
gamblers desiring police protection" re-
sponded the snake editor. Pttsburg
Chronicle.
The child of the period: Mr.. Cold
cash-'Well, little Esse, aren't you go
ing to kiss your uncle?" Essie Gage u
mo, indeed, I'm not" Mr.. Cold
cash-"And why not, little darling?"
Because there's your wife look
ing on, and l don't want to make trouble
in the family!' Chicago Rambler.
Father, what is deadlock" asked
Johnny, who had been reading the
Washington dispatches. Johnny's
father believed in answering promptly
all questions proceeding from his off
spring, and he answered Immediately:
"a deadlock, my son, is what your
mothers back hair is made of. Boston
Transcript.
TEN years ago." said a pompous
traveller TO hotel bartender, Il stopped
over here, and you made me cocktail
that seemed to strike the right spot"
Eyes, sir" said the bartender ''You
can made me another one Just like it."
continued the pompous traveller, "but
don't put quite SO much sugar in it,
~ Y. Sun.
Gilhooly had another joint discussion
with his landlady on the coffee question.
He tasted it, and then stirred it UP, and
kept on stirring it for about half an
hour without saying word. Finally
she spoke up. perhaps, Mr. Gilhooly,
/ didn't put in any sugar?n You didn't
put in any coffee, was the quiet reply.
TEXAS SJtings.
Angry land purchaser Ito real estate
agenD-You told me that the tempera-
ture in this part of the country would
average about 50o the year round, and
here the thermometer is down to zerol
Real estate agent-Yes, sir. Zero in the
winter and zoos in the shade in the
summer. That makes the 500 average
all rirhf N S.t.,