Morning journal and courier., 1886-06-16
THAN K FIJI.

There is one thing that we feel thankful for, and that is that there Is no Sunday base ball playing in this part of the country. The record of our nine for six days in the week is as much as we can endure.-Boston Post.
 There's new baby on Deer Hill avenue. It arrived the other day. It is a small one. It's little five-year- sister watched it care fully for few minutes yesterday, and then turned to the maternal head of the family and said Mamma, couldn't papa have paid another dollar and got larger onea'-Dan- bury Democrat. "How many inhabitants are tbare in your town?" an old citizen of Phelps, N. Y., was asked. "There ain't been no caucus taken since 'S0," was the reply, "sn' so I don't know" The same venerable and veritable MT. Malaprop expresses the opinion that eff man only has his lassitude and longevity all right, as the sailors say, he knows whereabouts he is."-Harper's Eazar. It was at the counter of leading shop, amid universal rush for oriental lace, when the attendant inquired of Hibernian- esque shopper: fDo you want ;t for wash dresss'' IA wash dress, indade." said the woman, tossing her head, "and would I be doin my washin' in dress trimmed with 'aycroo' lace. Shure it's for my Sunday dress, and want it half yard wide, right away."-Cambridge Tribune.
 The Boston Evening Record alleges that a mem per or our own Senate on Beacon nlEi In recent speech said:
 s'Such Q trial is parody on justice. can only compare it to the trial scene in Pick wick where poor Piekwick is sued by the widow Bedotti'
 This is paral1eled by speech by Boston member of the House few yea1s ago, who, in anger against opponents of a measure he was advocating, burst out: GAS Shakespeare said to his mother, Assume 8 virtue if you have it not. ''-Lowen Courier.
 Little Effie three years old went to a strange city with her mamma, to visit un- cle and the next morning was occupied in fattening her nose against the window pane and satisfying her childish curiosity by gag ing at the unusual scenes. "0h, auntiel Do see this awful homely manl" 'sHush, child. That is MT. Lord, the mayor. You must not talk that way. He is very nice man. " "Mister Lord2" and the nose presses closer against the glass, while Fife watches him clear out of sight. ''Myl" with toss of her little head. E1 know he never made e."- Lynn Union
 The Sunday school hymn, "I was wan dering sheep, did not love the fold," has been translated into Armenian, and the chil- dren of school in Constantinople are fond of singing it for travellers who look in upon them. The teacher, an Armenian, who knew but very little English, was not aware that it was a translation from that language, so,
 
 the children were singing, he betook himself to the dictionary, and emerged, after long search, with the information that the first line of the hymn meant CT was mislead mutton. ."-Harper's Bazar. --r..
 Awealthy New Yorker had engaged splendid cottage at Newport, and also a new driver for his horses. The driver was advis- ed to be very polite if he intended to keep his place. Accordingly when the m aster visited the Queen Anne stable, the following dialogue ensued: Master-"Wsll, John, how are the horses?" Coachman-'They are quite well, sir, thank you, and how are youf'
 At one time the Hon. Charles Thompson had for a client man who accused of selling liquor unlawfully. The prisoner was of an appearance best described as alcoholic, and his nose might have served as beacon on Eddystone Ledge on the darkest night. The testimony was taken and the case went on until MT. Thompson rose to make his plea. ttY your Honor," he began, ttl-l-look at the j-j-jury. G-gentlenen of the j-jury, Hook at his honor. Y-your Honor, l-l-look at the p-p-prisoner. P-p-prisoIer, Hook at his honor. G-g-gentlemen of the j-jury, Hook at the p-prisoner. D-d-does he look as he'd s-s-s-selI p-p-pint of hquor to any body?" The argument was irresistible. The nose of the accused outweighed all the testi- mony and MT. Thompson triumphantly won his case-Boston Letter to the Providence Journal.