The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1886-01-26
HE HELD THE SHEEP.

asked for half a pound of mutton chops.
1t was un~mistakable that his business
necessitated' his calling "c-a-s-h" quite
frequently. AS the man of the cleaver
sawed, cut and chopped, the purchaser
remarked in a weakened voice:
cav, l was a butcher once MYSELF"
"You a butchcr2' said the sausage.
c~ompoundcr contcmptuously.
eyes, aw. You see, I went into the.
bushes aw, and they first told me to
hold a sheep down Gil the floor, don't.
you know, and, good gcd, they stuck O
knife right into the poor beasts throat.
I, aw, tainted, and. when I came to, I
left the hawwid business, aw, and now
l sell dry goods."-Detroit Free Press.
THE MILLS.
10 many mills make a cent,
papaF" asked Johnnie C~rimsonbcak just
as he finished the feat of seeing how
long he could hold up the family cat by
tne tail. Ten, my son." replied the.
atfcctionate Crimsonbeak from behind
his evening paper. You must carry
lots of change around with you, then"
said the innocent boy. why so, my
SOM" because 1 heard mamma say
this morning that you spent most Of
your time in mills" 'Oh, but Johnnie,
you make q mistaken exclaimed Mrs.
Crimsonbcak, without stopping her"
knitting: 81 didn't mean that kind Of
mills. l meant gin mills "-Yonkers
Statesman.
GOOD ADVICE APPRECIATED.
Occasional Churchgocr Ito minister
That was good advice you gave this
morning, Mr.. Goodman. about laying
up treasures where neither moth nor
rust ran corr1nt and yrbnro th;ovoc oop
not break through nor steal.
Minister (earnestly)-It was, indeed,
sir, and trust you will profit by it.
Occasional ChurchgCcr = l intend to-.
Every cent 1 can raise goes into land.
Moth and rust can't hurt land, and no.
thief can steal it.
my dear sir, it is current that you
are q veritable slave to your wife. Now,
a man should have some independence;
he should fix the line somewhere"
II know it; 1 fixed it last night, was.
the doleful response.
"You did, ch? Glad to hear it,"
eyes, l fixed it. 1t was from the
back stoop to the h%enhouse, and con-
tains yesterdays washing."-Bingham-
ton Republican.
NECESSARY INFORMATION.
Hotel Clcrk-Excusc ME, sir, but you
are Col. Blood, are you not2"
Col. Blood-Yes, sab.
Hotel Clcrk-From Kentucky!
Col. Blood-Yes, sab.
Hotel Clerk-Room 444.
Col. Blood-Ycs. sab.
Hotel Clerk-Thanks, Colonel. The
three bottles attached to the wall of
your room are hand grcnadcs; their con-
tents are to be used in case of fire only.
THEY DO.
Observation-Disclosures Don't tell
me! America is far behind Europe.
Why, sir, look Mt Frar. G, for instance"
Bngley-Well, what OF France?"
Ponsonby-Well, sir, ever the little
children :here can LAX Flencl.-
PhiAa. ~aU.
NO THE TO SPARE.
Robinson neutrality-suspicious. stop.
me, p-please--b-big hurry.
Brown-Wh' CHI way2
Robinson--H-home- l-lcft trousers
wore l-last weck-b-buttons sewe.l poa-
f-forgot p-p-rockets.
DoTs AND DAsHEs.
CARE you asleep, Bobby I" why,
ma z" Because it's time to take, sour
medicine" ''Then, I'm asleepW
"THB Mikado of Japan never wears
a garment that has been washed" The
same, we may remark, is true of the
American tramp.
A SHARK was recently captured in the
East river. near the Brooklyn Bridge,
and everybody is wondering why he.
wanted to leave Wall street.
SOME lnqulsltlve person wants to.
know why a fire engine is always called
'she." We always supposed it was be-
cause "shc" had such a long tongue.
PARsoN Downs confesses that he
'don't know in advance what God is
going to do" If he did, he probably
wouldn't feel SO chipper.-Boston Post.
A CALIFORNIA murderer went to the
gallows with n cigarette in his mouth.
He died soon after. We have always
commended that cigarettes were I'm.
healthy.
SOME upscrupulous fellow has forged
Mr.. E. P. Roe's name to an inferior
story. Mr.. Roe's name has frequently
been found attached to inferior stories,
but it was not forgcd.-Binghamtom Re
publican.
"MRs. McCoRKLE, are you in favor Of
home rule z" asked an Irish lady Of her
nelghbor. ''Indecd l am" replied Mrs.
McCorklc; II think every woman
should rule her own home. I've ruled
mine ever since I was married"