davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

electors, $3.50 for any number be
tween 500 and 600 and $1,8;5 for any
number between 1000 and 800 In
counties where the number Of electors
does not exceed 1000 the candidate
mny spend S3,2'O in England aud Scot.
land and $2,1OO in Ireland. If there
ale more than 9, 900 electors in county
$500 may be spent in England and
Scotland, 81, 200 in Ireland and an ad
ditional $500 in England and Scotland,
and nm additional 5000 in ireland for
every complete 1000 electors over
1000.
The full amounts authorized by law
are generally expended in every con
test. They certainly will be in the one
now imminent 1t is not at all strange
therefore that Mr. Gladstone's follow.
crs, who rs rule are not men Of
means, should apply for aid and they
certainly ought to get 1t.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
EDUCATIONAL,
TuOMAS HEANEY,

Manufacturer OF Marble and Granite Monu-
ments, ,Headstones, Wainscoting, Tiling Plumb
ers' Slabs, etc., 400 and 462 Mass. ave. n. W.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

TIE New York Grdphic says the
Supreme Court of the District of Col
umbia has decided that Indians are
foreign citizens, which is probably
"because they were in this country be-
fore any one else was and never have
been out of it in the whole course of
their lives"
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
BUSINESS CHANCES.
COUNTRY PROPERTY.

NOR SALE-On 11th st Extended,
II near Brightwood, three acres, improved
by groom house stable, SC; nice shade, OK
cellent water, Immediately adjoining the
proposed park; only $1,000,
WALKER & WILSON, 1905 T stn W.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

LAUGH IN THE SENATE.
Harkl did you not hear itP
a wierd, uncauny sound,
AS II decorum shrieked
BY reason Of a wound.
Who gave itY Who dared desecrate
The sanctuary of the greatly groatY
No one replies:
The black bat flies
Across the dim dark upper space,
And on each Senatorial face
The shadow lies.
Tho gray, grave men turn silent eyes,
In mute surprise,
Upon the solemn few collected there,
And dumbly ask "Who dare?"
The ghosts of other days
Peer out from succeed cave,
Dust strewn upon the walls,
And query: "Who So bravey'
Dead measures stretch their shliyclei hands
Athwart the gloom,
And all is silent AS the tomb;
Tie laugh Is straightened on its bier.
Abandon smiles ye who euter here.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
FOR RENT---HOUSES.

INoR RENT-2-Story Basement and
II attic brick, 0lb 9th st n W, 9 rooms; water
In kitchen. Terms, etc, at Room 40, Corcoran
Ruilding
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

DOR RENT-Uouse, Rooms. 632 II
A. st n o; imps; S2j. Apply at PARKER'S
Real Estate Agency, dl9 and Il SITS $ W.
EOR RENT-No. 127 l. street @, Bay
IL window brick house, 8 rooms and bath;
mod. imp; fine condition: S2O.50 per month.
Address OWNER, No. II ID st II @.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

H'HE WHITE Is I<ingi Tho Acme or
i perfection In the category of Sewing Ma
chimes. a concentration and condensation
of mechanical genius and skill. The range of
work cannot be excelled. II is thing of
j. +. McKENNEY'S, 427 9th st W. j. u.
RICHMOND, manager. Machines of all kinds
for sale or rent. First.class repairing done.
Also Central Office tor the Universal Patterns.
See them.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
LOANS.

In sums TO suit at per cent.
The above Is only small portion, OF prop
erty on my books, For full list call at Office
for bulletins issued on list and 10Th.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

DRIvATE DANCING LESSONS Given
j by n lady thoroughly competent to teach
the waltz, military schottische, SC, by u
Critic office.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
.sCO.OPERATINE nuILDERS.-

N[51 aVO- -UFEKhTTNE UUTEDEKS.-
w. Section of the Integral Cooperative
system, composed Of carpenters and jonors,
are now bidding on all work In this line, in
cluding the erection and completion of build
ings of every. description. Plans and spoch-
cations furnished on application. Owners
viii do well TO submit plans already made.
Address LOCK BOX G0g City Z. o.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
crNnnAL Ann cRtrrourAn.


Hon. Boyd Winchester United States
Consui-Geueral to Switzerland, reports that
he has seen cheese IN that country goo years
old. We rise 10 remnr that we have seen
butter I'm this country, oy right here I'm
Washington, 500 years Old, and stIll as
strong as IN its youth
Senator Eyarts "a happy very mpru iu
his similes. Yesterday, In his argument
against tho Beck hill, providing that Senl-
tors or Mcmlcrs shall not be attorneys for
governmental nursery railroads, he sail
that band cuiTed plckpocket was not an
honest man. This is not quite as long as
some Of the Senator's sentences, but II laps
around quite as much as his longest
According to "surfacc Indications" not
a single United States Senator is al attorney
for RAILROAD.
The English artist who painted that
famous picture, "The Roll.Call," could
have found plenty of material In the House
yesterday for a duplicate.
The change of rules most necessary in the
House now, isa change from the rule Of
monkey business to the rule OF actual work.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
THOMAS j. FISHER & CO.,
1924 Il street northwest,

LOR RENT-A 3. Story Back Build
II ing brick house, No 1907 10th st II W, hay
ing rooms and bath, with all modern i'm
provements. Apply at 1915 18th st.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
PERSONAL.

." "ANTED--PeopIe in the Adjacent
w country TO know that LOUIS GUN.
NINGIlAM, 1ii0 L st, loans money at low
rates. suburban districts visited. lnforma.
tion given gratis.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
TARTLING FACTS.

" %
You cannot afford to ignore them. The fol-
lowing article appears in recent ISSUE of the
New York Commercial Bulletin:
IAN expert examined and reported upon a
sample Of Chicago refined lard The other day,
which. he said did not contain pound Of
hogs fat, but consisted of tallow, grease, cot
ton seed oil and oleo-stearine."
This mixture IL sold for about one cent per
pound less than the pure article. Isn't cheap
at any price.
CASSARDs "STAR BRAND" LARD is
pure. Every package guaranteed. Try 1t and
you will use no other.
g. CASSARD Il SON,
401-400 Ill West baltimore st.,
Baltimore, Nd
Curers of the celebrated star Brand" Mild
Cured Hams aud Breakfast Bacon. EaCn
tippp IL branded
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

care not who make the laws, If I have
the power to veto them G.. Cleveland.
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
WANTED-- D---HOUSES,

w WTANTED-Small House in Country
w not far from city and convenient tC
railroad station. Address, stating price and
location, i o Box No b31
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24
FIN pENT..pgnNg

| Adrerps,mente Of Tibyes Kipes under Htts hcaa
| tnSertsd Hyfe fi,Bes for - ceBfs
The Washington critic., 1886-06-24

Senator Beck says he doesn't know what
a "unilateral lawyer is. We beg the Sena-
tors pardon, but "unilateral," when trans
lated into Kentuckynese, is ''jug-handled."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20

the trunk of the artery between the heart
and the wound and press it firmly with
the fingers. AS, however, the hand soon
tires in such cases. the next best thing to
do is to put tourniquet on it. IA young
man from the audience was called to the
platform, and the method of using a
handkerchief with a stick or bayonet as a
compressor was shown. Simple and
compound fractures were next taken up.
A simple fracture, he said, was where the
skin was not broken. When a bone was
broken the fact could be ascertained by
any one whose head was cool and whose
nerves were steady. In the first place the
limb was shortened; next, there was an
unnatural movement in the seat of frac-
ture; then there was violent pains. and
lastly, the ends of the bones grated
against each other if the patient were not
immediately placed in an easy position
D1slocatlons were at once seen by the al
tered appearance of the joint, by the mo-
blllty of the loosened bone, and by the
effort to move the joint causing intense
pain. The treatment was to promptly
replace the joint, but this could only be
safely done by a surgeon.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20

for cheaply and proftably fattening
stock for market.
If st. Paul and Minneapolis will estab-
llsh adequate facilities for marketing and
handling cattle, they will undoubtedly Sc
cure the bulk of the trade from Dakota,
Montana and Northern Wyoming, and we
earnestly recommend these cities to pre-
pare themselves to handle the live stock
business of the northwest with its kindred
industries, and not permit themselves
TO be, as they row are, a way station on
the way from the ranges to Eastern mar
kets. The vast cattle trade of the north
west has heretofore gone to points east of
these cities, and our supplies have nee
essarIy been drawn from these points;
but 1t would seem that the time has now
arrived when, for the best interests of all
concerned, change should be made, and
the establishment of live stock market
IN the vicinity of the twin cities would, in
our opinion, work to the great advantage
of both producers and consumers by af-
fording an additional market, increasing
the commercial Importance of the two
cities, and being of inestimable advantage
to the northwest in the concentration and
distribution of the increased business
that will necessarily follow the inaugural
ton of this enterprise. We therefore
unhesitatingly and cordially endorse the
movement for the establishment of a
live stock market and all the attendant in
dustries for the handling of live stock
products at proper location in the vicin-
ity of the cities of St. Paul and Mime
apOlis.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
A WONDROUS LAND.
NEW YORK SUN.

Hol all good fellows who love to shirk,
Ho! all good fellows who hate TO werk,
All rowing blades and all neer-do-wells,
All 10 afers and impecunious swells,
Who without sowing are fam 10 reap;
If you have mind to eat and sleep,
If you want to fly from labor and pain,
Come, go with me to the land Of Cockaigne.
IT'S comprised about with rivers nine,
Which always flows with the finest wine,
And the moment you touch that noble coast
Fat QuailS run to you, each one on his toast,
And piping hot caHVasbackS troop in a row
To lead you down to Lake Clos de Vougeot,
And through celery fields with monstrous stacks
You make your W ay over diamond backs
The walls of the houses are built of hams,
And the pillars are piles Of giant CLAIMS,
OF sides of beef are wrought the floors,
or porterhouse steak tho lintels and doors;
The laths are tripe and the shingles are lamb,
And the plaster work is jelly and jam;
OF oyster shells are the bath tubs made,
And they run with hot and cold lemonade.
Oh, the Holsters rompng about in drovss,
Oh, the arbors of salad, tn asparagus groves
Oh, the bread cars on cables of pork that glide.
And you cut off slice to pay for your ride:
Oh, the brooks that with gravies and, all
The goodly bridges of choice fole gras;
oh, the fountains aspurtiDg OF dry champagne,
Oh, the fairness Of things in the land Of Cock
aigne.
In the shade of mushroom you soft you lie,
While novels read themselves to your eye.
Or, summing yourself on the sandwich knobs,
You watch TIE turtle APPLYING at bowls;
Or you tip the wink to the sun i tn sky,
Saying, Where is another as happy as IT,
All labor is sorrow, all struggle is vain,
And they only know joyance who dwell in Cock
aigne.
And brief are the laws of that comfortable land,
On tablets of butter well carved they stand
''Who eats, and who drinks, and who sleeps the
most
In the land of Cockaigre he shall rule the roast;
Who ever is known to take exercise,
On proof OF the fact be straightway dies
But no one has yet for this crime been slain
Within the fat borders of jovial Cockaigne.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
TREATING Cases of Injury.

Surgeon Valentine, reported in Brooklyn Esgl-.
In the case of one injured, but whose
hurt was not positively known, he advised
that the first act should be to send for q
doctor; the next to loosen all tight ar
ticles of clothing on the patient, that the
blood might have free course; the third
act should be to place the injured person
in as comfortable position as possible,
with his head low down if he looked pale
or was faint, and finally to sprinkle the
face and head with cold water. In ordi-
nary injuries, he said, the dirt should be
washed out of the wound, a wet linen
placed on it, and then a handkerchief or
scarf tied about it TO stop the flow Of the
blood. In cases Ct hemorrhage he adj
vised, if the blood flowed slightly, that
the cut was not dangerous; that at most a
small blood vessel had been ruptured.
But should the dark blood well out IN a
steady stream, it was then evident that a
large vein had been opened, and the flow
should be stopped by pressure over the
wound with the fingers or by some other
ready means; but if the blood be of q
bright red and spurted out of the wound
forcibly and by jerks, an artery had been
cut and the danger was great. If the
hemorrhage was unimportant-th is, i'm
mediate danger to life if the injury was
not apprehended, stop the flow by pressing,
but if it could not thus be stopped find
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
TIE Committees REPORT.

Your cOmmitte, to whom was assigned
the duty of visiting the city of st. Paul,
on invitation of it's chamber of commerce,
to Investigate the feasibility of establish
ing a live stock market at or near that
city, and whose duties were enlarged by
the acceptance of a courteous invitation
from the chamber of commerce of Mime
apolis to make like investigation in ref
erence to their city and vicinity, have the
honor to report as follows: Having de-
voted four days to the duty with which we
were charged, and having been offered
every facility and aided in every conceiv
able manner by the business men of both
cities, we find that somewhere immedite-
ly contiguous to the cities Of ST. Paul and
Minneapolis a live stock market is both
entirely feasible and practicable. We
find the local consumption of beef cattle
in the two cities to be about seventy
thousand head per annum. This supply
is at present largely drawn from Kansas
City, and the southwest, though its natu-
raj source should be Dakota, Montana
and Northern Wyoming, and would be if
there was at this point live stock mar
ket and adequate feeding establishments
to keep up the supply with our feeders
at seasons when range fed beef is out of
market.
It is significant fact and one worthy
of notice by the citizens of these cities.
that there is not, north of Council Bluffs
and Omaha, and west of Milwaukee, "a
single market where a train load of cat
tie can be sold. We find also that the
feeding OF cattle for market, as bust
ness, is almost unknown here, nOtwith-
standing that the facilities are unusually
advantageous for its successful prosecu-
ton. Our visit to Mr.. j. J. Hills farm
has satisfied US that this business, so gen
orally neglected, is capable of being con-
Quoted with profit to both feeders and
growers. At Mr.. Hills farm we found in
practice system of feeding with pre-
pared food consisting largely of ruta-
bagas and cut hay, with a small admix-
ture of corn meal, ground oats and oil
cake, costing bat SO cents per day per
animal, with the result, ascertained by
continued experimental feeding by Mr..
Hill, of putting on about two and three
fourths pounds per day per animal. In
competition at Chicago with cattle fat
tened in the great corn belt, the system
was demonstrated to be a success, and
the whole Northwest can produce unlimit-
ed quantities of such feed as is necessary
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
A Waiter that Caught the Drift.
TemDle Bar.

Once, after a bad sea passage. l tried
hard to explain to good-tempered waiter
at Calais that I wanted a little gin, but
understand ne could not, and the classical
French I could not for the moment re-
member. After every spirituous liquor
had been offered in turn, my wants must
have been suggested by some despairing
pantomime, for his face expanded with
smiles, he put his right forefnger to his
cheek and his left in the air with infinite
expressiveness, and 'Ah, all" he said,
with sympathy and all in one word, '0re-
tumw And Old Tom it was.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
Agriculture i'm Manitoba.

The President Of the Manitoba Board
of Agriculture has recently published in
his annual report an interesting compar-
ison of the cost of wheat grown in England
and in Manitoba. His calculation is that
wheat can be raised in the Canadian North
west at 40 or As cents bushel. Taking
the latter figure and also the low average
of 20 bushels to the acre as a basis, the to-
tai cost per acre is found to be only 50, or
about So sterling. Compare this adds
Mr.. Bridges, with the total of $41.45, or
IS los. Sd. per acre, as shown to be the
average for the eleven English counties of
Berkshire, Cambridgeshire, Essex, Hants,
Kent, Lincolnshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, Sur
rey, Sussex and Yorks. This latter sum
of (Se los. 3D. includes of course expen-
ses, which are happily not wanted in this
country; for instance, rent and tithes.
Here everyone does, or will at an early
date, own his land fee simple. AS to taxes,
1 may tell you that had to pay last year
on behalf of the Hudson's Bay Company,
an average, not of 5s., but of cents IN
acre, so that people coming here from
England need not be afraid of the ques-
ton of taxation. The cost of manure is
another very large item, being $1275 in
the eleven counties, though here it is not
likely to come to a very large sum for a
long time, as any manure wanted will be
produced by mixed farming"
In another part of his report the Presi-
dent showed that last year the total wheat
surplus available for "shipment" from
Manitoba alone amounted to 100000
bushels; and, further, that the area pre-
pared for seeding this year in the pro-
vince is at least 80 per cent. in excess of
| that prepared in 1885. The total railway
mileage now in the provice is, he adds, 81
miles, or L mile for every l25 people; and
the extension this year will bring the to-
tai up to 921 miles, or mile to every 100.
That is larger railway accommodation,
particularly in proportion to the popula-
ton, than any other part of the American
continent. In these calculations Mr.
Bridges is, of course, speaking solely of
the province of Manitoba, exclusive Of
the vast areas in the Northwest territories
! beyond.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
NO MORE HIGH-PRICED WHEAT.

The day for ighpriced wheat is gone
forever from this country, and will never
return as long as wheat is raised for ex-
port. Some governments want cheap
wheat and are willing to put up money to
get it. Great Britain paid three hundred
millions sterling to open the wheat fields
of India. The rent paid is $3.50 per acre,
and the price of transportation from the
interior to the seaport at Calcutta is more
than from Devils Lake to Liverpool, and
yet they sell it in Liverpool for Is cents
per bushel. We have been exporting TO-
100000 or 100000 bushels per year.
Not over 5,OO0,O 900 bushels will be sent how
ever, Of the present crop. The average crop
in this country is 4O0,OOO,Q0O. of this we
use for bread and seed 355,C00,0C0. This
leaves 100000 bushels. and this residue
makes the price for all the balance If
the farmers would buy this $4,000. 600
bushels and dump it into Lake Michigan
they would make money by it. But they
needn't DO it; if they reduce the produc-
ton Is per cent. they would reduce the
| 400,000,OO0 to 34O, 100000, and this against
315,OO0.0O0 for bread and seed would leave
100000 deficit, which would bring
| Dakota wheat up to 81 a bu. Now besides
saving this Is per cent. in area, expense
and time, the farmer can put in another
crop that will be even more profitable.
For the last four years every man must
do something for living laughter II
| have been raising cattle. I commenced
in a small way. I fed my steers on grass
and cabbage, little ground oats and oil
cake, and the last two weeks I put in q
handful of cheap brown sugar. I sent
four steers to Chicago to compete in the
stock show with six hundred fat cattle,
from older states and states that make a
business of feeding cattle. At Chicago
| found it an Illinois show, and they didn't
like to see people coming from Minnesota
and compete with them on fat cattle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20

Ranchmen were there watching them, and
the result made them look blue. l took
| the sweepstakes prize for the best two
year old, and then killed and dressed him.
He dressed at 1854 pounds applause |,
and he dressed ia per cent of his gross
weight applause, and that was better
than any other steer ever seen in Chicago.
Then the butchers came and didn't know
whose OK was being gored, so they were
unbiased. They gave me first prize for
best carcass of dressed meat, the first
prize for the largest percentage Of edible
food IN the carcass, the first prize for the
largest per cent. of dressed meat to the
live steer, the first prize for the best meat
and the gold medal. I took those prizes
with four steers in competition with 600.
| Applause. [ fed no corn. l fed them
cabbage, turnips and ground oats. My
farm had been cultivated for twenty-five
years, and was pretty bad land.
WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT FARMING.
sowed my turnips with a drill, cult
waited them twice, thinned them out and
when ripe cut the tops off with hoe. 1t
cost $3.50 per acre to raise them and 1
got $50 bushels to the acre, the cost being
less than one and one-half cents to the
bushel. Now the daily rations for 100
steers-and one man can take care of a
hundred steers rations consist first
of 1000 pounds of hay at SIS per ton, and
l will say that there is enough hay burn
ed in Minnesota annually, if sold at So
per acre, to pay for the entire wheat crop
of the state for five years. There will be
also 1920 pounds of roots or seventy
bushels, at two cents bushel-and mine
didn't cost one and half cents, and were
raised on poor soil. Next comes 400
pounds of ground grain at one cent per
pound, and 200 pounds of oil cake at $40
per ton. The total rations then for 100
steers for one day are $500 pounds of
feed or fifty eight pounds for each ami
NAL, which cost $500, or S8O1 for ninety
days. Now, good stockers at a good price,
three and one-half years old, average
weight 1,150 pounds, can be bought for
three cents pound, or $3,45O for herd
of 100, making the total investment in
feed and steers $4,251. Now 100 steers
should gain $50 pounds each during the
ninety days, making their average weight
], 400 pounds, or total of 100000 pounds,
which at AZ cents a pound, would be
$4,000. Now the manure from these ami
mails is worth One-third the whole cost.
1t would be cheap at S267 or a total on
the credit side of $6,567, or profit of
$2,316, or $23.16 to each animal for three
months. [Applause.l
The following is the above information
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1886-05-20
4 Little Story for Smokers.
CCr. Pittsburgh DISPATCH.

a novel commercial custom came to my
notice in Vera Cruz. [ went into a to-
baccO shop to buy cigar. got one for
5 cents, which pleased me, and then asked
the price of a box. I found that if I
bought a box would have to pay at the
rate Of 81 cents apiece. They look upon
our middlemen as robbers, and claim that
we have no right, if we can sell box of
cigars for $3.50, to charge cents apiece.
The free Monday scientific lectures
have become such passion among the
daughters of the Iowly of Birmingham
England, that wash day has been
changed to Tuesday, which the London
Globe considers the greatest achievement
Of science thus far.
Would-be fascinating brother-in-law TO
sister-in-law: well, Maria, what do you
think of the deceased wife's sister bill?"
Maria: "Oh, I don't mind, if they don't
make it compulsory"