St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1886-07-17
PHRENOLOGY AFLOAT.

Ican't lust now recall his name, bu'
he was registered at the hotel at Elk
RAPIDS as from the Chicago Inter- Oceam.
There wasn't any thing singular IN two
newspaper men making up TO each
eihcr-not when they were both away
from home. liked his looks iron. inc
start, and when he realized 1t he
brought out q chart of his head "hlch
Prof. Fowler had given him. Accord
ing to the chart his leading traits
were:
/. Extreme libcrality.
z. Utter absence Of sclfishness.
5. Strong friendship.
was glad that the chart confirmed
MY own private impress ions, and our
friendship was cemented with the blood
of the rcvo. ution, for which the land
lord charged ten cents Il glass. On the
fourth day we went out together IN q
skitf on the bay to fish. He insisted on
paving for the bait, and in rowing the
boat, and that agreed exactly with trait
No. /. We We're a half mile OFT shore,
and still going ahead, when the skin
banged against some unseen object, the
bottom was stove in, and the next mo-
ment she filled to the gunwales. The
oars foated away as we t1oated out,
and we settled down to business with
the wreck floating full of water and he
hanging to one end and | to the other
1t was only then that a suspicion crept
into my mind that Fowler hadn felt OF
that chaps bumps in dead earnest.
You did it-you Internal ldlot-you
did it..' he yelled at me Us he got Little
Traverse Bay out of his mouth
As Fowler hadn't included Truth IN
his leading traits l felt free to deny the
allegation, but he repeated it in a Wig
orous manner, and added:
1--WE got revolver, and if you don't
let 90 of this boat I'll shoot you"
'.For why?" says |.
because it won't float both OF us, and
I'm going to sage myself at any cost:
That was his utter absence OF selfish
ness" as recorded on the chart, and L
was surprised and grieved to think
Fowler had been so taken in. l asked
for little grace, and he replied:
''Give you Just two minutes to say
your prayers.
wanted twenty, and he wouldn't
even compromise on six. That was
more of his extreme liberality." When
I saw that he was inclined to hurry the
funeral bounced the boat around and
prevented him from getting at his
weapon, which had stuck fast in his wet
pocket Pretty soon he tried another
Law. Said he:
II am married man and have four
children. All you've got is a wife, and
she's half dead at that. Have some
reason about you"
I offered to argue the case, each side
being limited to five minutes, and he
charged me with cold-blooded selfish
ness. If the circumstances were only
reversed he'd die for me in minute,
but as we couldn' reverse 'em he had
another proposition. If I'd let 60 and
die quietly and decently he'd raise at
least one hundred dollars for my widow if
he was saved, and would give column
| notice in the Inter- Ocean, describing
| the details of my heroic act, and wind
ing up with the paragraph:
1--WE are certain that the public will
| not let his grave remain unhonored by q
| fitting tablet.
WANTED to know what sort of tab
| let, the cost, etc.p had seen so many
cheap tablets that felt like holding out
for Scotch-granite monument with an
| angel on the apex. He got SO mad. at
the delay that had to bounce the boat
again to keep the pistol in his pocket.
| When he had Gained down he appealed
to my generosity and manly honor. He
had just had his salary raised. His
| father-in-law had just come to appre-
ciate him for what he was. He was the
president of a Chicago literary society,
and the leading member of debating
! club. His future was full of the biggest
kind of watermelons, and the whole
world would miss him. l hadn't any
salary worth mentioning father-iri-
law at all-no hope beyond fourth-tloor
rates. Wasn't it better to die hero
than to live on like thistle by the road
side? asked him to put his language
in the form of motion, which he did,
and vote was taken-it was a stand
off. His side only got one vote, and
that was half-full of water.
I never saw chap so full of motions
and resolutions as he was for three
quarters of an hour, and never attend
ed a caucus where the opposition was so
determined to vote them all down. He
had apparently exhausted his stock and
was hunting for something new, when
he lost his hold on the wreck and went
DOWNTOWN down-about four feet,
where he rested solidly ON a sand-bar.
The water for fifty feet around was from
two to four feet deep, and it was the,
end of a sunken spar which had wrecked
u.s. He came over to me and held out
his hand, but [ waded away from him
in delightful manner. He said he was