Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1886-01-10
An Arkansas Wedding
IArkansas TraYeller.l

Arkansas Traveller.
A very interesting wedding occurred
over at Hooks Springs the other night.
Ben. Lotha and Ida Grimes ran away
from the neighborhood where they had
been reared, and applied to young Will
kinson, who recently accepted a call to
preach. The arrival Of the runaway
couple soon became known, and quite
a number Of young people gathered at
the school-house, where the ceremony
was to be performed. The preacher,
upon arriving, called Bill Fellers to one
side, and said
4" Bill, couldn't refuse to accom-
modate that young couple. but, to tell
the truth, don't know how to perform
a marriage ceremony. | was never
married, and / never saw anybody mar
ried, and | don't understand the per-
formance."
~ never saw anybody married
either" Bill replied. land | don't be-
lieve there anybody here that under
stands it,"
sit won't do to disappoint them, for
| understand the girls father is in pur-
suit. Let's see, you were commission
ed as a justice of the peace the other day,
weren't you?"
"Yes, but the papers didn't shed any
light on marriage ceremonies"
II don't know what to do about
it," the young preacher continued.
They've begun to grow restless, you
see."
well, parson, don't understand
it any more than you, but | am willing,
if you'll help me kill hogs next week,
to take the job off your hands,"
An right"
Bill turned to the company and said
Ladies and gentlemen, we've met
here to engage in very serious bush
ness. This young couple" tpointing)
think they ought to be married, and
it amt for me to say they ought not.
Young fellow, have you got your
license
"Yes, sir
"All right. Hop out here, now"
The young couple advanced.
"Join hands," said Bill. . I would
like to say that the new ceremony just
approved by the Governor has gone into
effect. Those who have never seen this
ceremony performed will doubtless be
amused at its novelty, but I'll say right
here that all snickering will be treated
as contempt Of court. Young man,
what is your business? 2"
&" am farmer"
"Ah, hah! How many rails can
you spit in day."
-Four hundred in good timber
"Will you swear it,"
"Yes, SIR"
Hold up your right hand"
lie held up his hand and was sworn.
Bill continued:
"Are you a good hand to cover
corn?"
"Yes, SIR"
PLEASE say Yes, your Honor"
Yes, your Honor"
"Thats right. How much can you
cover in day."
Three acres, if the lands in good
condition."
"Will you swear it ="
Yes, SIR"
"Yes. your Honor"
Excuse me. Yes, your Honor"
" Hold up your right hand"
And he was sworn again.
"What was the weight of the largest
bass you ever caught"
II don't remember exactly. About
five pounds, | reckon"
"Will you swear it"
No, your Honor"
" All right. Are you willing to
marry this girl?"
"Yes, your Honor. If | wasn't |
wouldn't have brought her here"
That's what thought" Bill medi-
tatively replied. You love her, l
reckon"
Yes, your Honor"
"How much?"
"0h don't know. Ever so much"
"What did she say when you asked
herr"
- She said Yes
"Glad to hear it..
"Now, young lady. will you please
advance and kiss the judge"
The girl hesitated a movement, but
she stepped up and kissed Bill.
"Do you love this man."
"Yes, SIR"
"Yes, your Honor
The girl corrected her mistake.
"How much do you love him ,"
Lots
"Glsd to hear it. Please step for
ward and kiss the Judge"
Again she kissed him.
Remember that you are under oath.
Did you ever love any one else?"
"Yes, your Homer"
"Why didn't you marry him."
ale didn't ask me-"
"Please advance and kiss the Judge"
Look here. Squire" said the
would-be bridegroom, 81 believe we'd
ruther be married the old way"
"The old way is repealed. Young
lady, how old are you:"
look here, Judge" said the now
impatient lover, "that's none Of your
business
"Yes it is. Young lady, you will
please advance and kiss the Judge"
sNo, III be blamed IL she shall. ="
exclaimed the young man; an, more
than that. this thing has gone far