Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1886-10-13

DOSbOh
"How can a worthy young man ge
a start in life?" This oft-repeatet
question wearies us. We are abb,
to think of nothing at present thai
gets away with the old fashioned ben
pin.-Burlington Free Press.
Tramp.-"Please help me; | am {
Charleston sufferer" Old gentle
man.-"Ah, indeed; sufferer by
that awful earthquake? What did
you lose 2" Tramp.-"I lost a be-
how many shocks there was. Life
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The meanest church organist live!
in Philadelphia. He is all bent with
age, and the other day, at the wedding
of antique Philadelphia bell whom he
knew many years before, he astonish-
ed every body by playing a fantasit
on the air, "When you and / Were
Young."-Boston Traveller.
-------------------------
Just you throw me over half q
dozen of the biggest of those trout, y
said a citizen to the fish dealer.
"Throw them ?" queried the dealer
eyes, and then I'll go home and
tell my wife that l caught 'em. |
may be a poor fisherman but I'm nc
liar."-The Iron Age.
81 see," said Stubs, the other
day, "that DIR. Michael Foster
tells the British Association that
smoking tobacco produces defective
vision; do you believe it?' "Oh, |
am sure of it," replied Mrs. s., "for
l saw your friend Butts last evening
putting away quite unconscious that
there were several ladies in the room. u
Boston Transcript.
Husband (to noble theatrical man
ager)-"I-I-I-beg p-pardon, sir,
but may see my wife tomorrow for
five minutes p
Noble manager-!"To-morrow? All,
let me see-no, | guess not, for to,
morrow she must take her drive in
the park. Perhaps the next day, but
(frowning) remember, for five minutes
only.-New York Graphic.
C"Habit is hard to overcome. II
you take off the first letter it does
change "a bit" If you take off
another you have "bit" left. If you
take off another the whole of "it" re-
remains, If you remove another it is
now "t" totally used up. All of
which goes to show that if you wish
to be rid of bad habit you must
throw it off altogether.-Chicago
Times.
"How do you like Bernhardt ?" he
asked. "Well, / don't exactly know /;
I've only seen her once" "But she
has wonderful repertoire" "Has
she! Well, must say" she re-
piled, "the one she had OH when /
saw her didn't fit her at all in the
back" and then it was as still as a
store that never advertises. New
Haven News.
The husband was an exceptionally
mean man. His wife said to him:
"My dear, it is time we were think
ing about the education of our Jules" +"
"Oh it costs too much"
Don't you know of u cheap
school,"
"Yes."
(Which is it ?"
"Thc school of adversity."-Tid
Bits.
"Now isn't il true that you went to
this girls father. and tried to settle
the case against the defendant ?" ask
ed Lawyer - of darked skin ned
witness during the recent session Of
court. "Yes, sab, did, sah," was
the darkey's prompt reply. ooh, you
did," spoke up tho counselor, 'you
acted the peace.msker are you a
peace-maker by occupation ?" "No,
sab," earnestly replied the witness,
Use brickmaker.' And the Judge
joined in the smile.-Elmira Gazette.
Is And do you think you will always
love me, George 2"
"Yes, my darling, | know ] willy'
"And can nothing turn your heart
from me2P IIll Lttl
mo, no; nothing"
"I'm glad, George"
care you, darling--really aud truly
glad ?" aarru ose.,rta ,.or,
Eyes, George, for am going to
marry Count Bigpurse, and it is real
nice to know that one person in the
world will always love me."-Chicago
News. 2atA'saSH = ilt