Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-11-30
BRIGHT BITS.

A COW entered a church in Canada and
droTe the choir out. The congregation I'M
heuisseiy took up a collection ana bought the
cow.-BariisG.asa p &c PreSs.
CLERK 10 Mr.. Isaacstein)-"Der shentle-
mans at vas looking at dot seventeenth llar
oFercoat says he vas a clergyman. anu wants
70 Know Vat difference YOU make for dot.
TEL DOT shentem ans We make him ten per
sehd alscound OF for cash. YORK SHR-
A GREAT DIFFERENcE.-Irste.Pe rson-See
mere, did you call me an ''old celibate" IN
y0nr paper yesterday?
Editor-No; called you ian Old repro
BATE
lrAte Person-oh. that's very different
Life.
MIND-READING is now the proper caper:
- axe nod OF my left hand and tell me what
m thinking Of" said the head of the family
10 Ills connding spouse. "Oh, yes" said she.
Srasplng his hand couvulsIyelT. you are
thinklng about taking me to hear Patti" she
had 10 guess again.-EOStOH lie dld.
WHERE do you come from" asked Dial
las man Of neighbor. "I'm just from the
fair grounds" Have the judges OF live
.tock awardied the prize to the biggest jack
my nave. Did nv uncle or my istner
ger lt: Neither of them. A strange don-
Key from Eastern Texas got the prize. "-Teoas
S,Jtings.
IHE AfRic Al MANAGER-You must do some
thing to attract attention or We can never
or pv acsowd. Have you husband:
"AumlTers, perhaps
NO; won the both red with them"
"WeH, the lost diamond and lost dog scheme
have run out. What shall We do:"
II have It. wi advertise that have lost
every stitch OF my stage wardrobe. O7,dhd
World.
The train is ABOUT to start when stout o'o
lady rushes on the platform, all out OF breath.
me conductor seizes her, pushes her in a
turns and the lady eXcaims, "Oh. only
wanted To-"
"All right" said the conductor, ''you got
on "a time; mats the main thing"
Your ticket, If you please"
BUT nave none-I only wanted TO put
TINS letter IN the b0x."- tss9e'sde Batter.
DISTRESSING NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.: Say,
SeratchGWay, you know | was telling Won last
night about the trouble | had with Your
fatner about the money he owed me, and your
mothers terrible temper and some details of
your Aunt Aargaret's unfortunate mar
riage9"
"Yes, know"
We'll, that was only a little confidential
gossip. you know. dId not intend it Tor an
Scrat haway--Sorry old boy; that's what
inought 1t was. It's all printed this morn
ing'-6urdette in BrooktyR Eagle.
"HER MAJESTY" writes a London CORES
pondent, ''eats at state dinners without
gloves" The reason for that is at once appar-
NV ucT majesty 10 get d DETER
| grip on The wing of chicken. In wrestling
with the common hen of commerce at the
/ d1nner table, she must be handled without
gloves. or the battle is lost. Gloves would
also be very much in the way when her ma jes-
| " desired TO clutch an ear of corn by each
| end. the tip and the loOe. SO TO speak, while
she gnawed at it amidships. You see, there
are hundred emergencies that might arise
curing The progress of "a state dinner wherein
gloves would be In the way.-Bro OklVh EdgLe.
A MAIDEN fresh from Vassar was she,
Both learned and charm n gly fair,
| Who, by my side, at the matinee.
Leaned back in an orchestra chair.
A critical mind she has. thought I,
As together we watched the play;
| SO careful I'll be to catch each word
Sne shall at its ending say.
/ Her views will be wise and Just, said
Both the good and the bad she'll see;
And she'll SPEAK the truth, as lawyers do,
When not warped by retaining fee.
And so when the curtain downward rolled
From its nest far up overhead
/ turned to her with quest'ning look,
And these were the words that she said:
| NOW don't you thnk'-and she smiled as I'M
She rose In that orchestra stall.
| THAT pa might buy me dress like that
To wear at the Patriarchs ball?''
Life,