Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-03-19
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

Theodore Roosevelt says that this
bite Of skunks in Kansas and Nebraska
produces hydrophobia.
-Pompous physician Ito patients
yife) --'Why do you delay sending for
me until he was out of his mindp"
Wife--"0, doctor, while he was in his
right mind he wouldn't let me send fol
you ~ Chicago Tribune.
a-"Why does marriage make men
thoughtfulPn asked a young lady of an
old bachelor. swell, / suppose it is
because they ore continually wonder.
ipg what's going to happen next. ~
Boston Post,
lido you think you could carve the
turkey, Mr., 0'Dynamttep" said the
landlady to her new hoarder. ''Well,
! should blush to hesitate. Why, l was
one Of the men who helped to blow up
He'll Gate, ,"-New York Journal.
If fthenations Of Eastern Europe had
sparticle Of sympathy for telegraph
operators and telegraph editors, they
would never fight. The heathenish
names 'frotn.shat country are enough to
make aneedle cross-eted.--Denver TsIb-
une-Repubkca,a .HF Geo"
81 am very sorry for you," said o
gentleman to q little street gamin who
applied for penny. Wont you put
your hand in your pocket and tell Inc
how sorry you arep" Splied the boy
National Weekly.
When a boy is very young they
tell him not to cat candy, for fear Of
worms; when he gets Older they advise
him to get up early in the morning, be.
cause the early birds catch the worms.
Parents are models Of Inconsistency
81, Adams Messenger,
Client TO lawyer)--I am afraid
the physlolan's testimony will convict
me, Lawyer (reassuringly)-Don't be
alarmed about that. I'll read up o lit.
tle about poison in the stomach, and In
ten minutes I'll have that doctor in q
cold sweat and make the Judge and
Jury think he is hired perjurer. N
Y. Sun.
Washington Irving once said to a
lady friend: Don't teach your daugh-
ters SO many things; teach them one
thing; teach them to be easily pleased. "
Judging from the specimens of hus-
bands acquired by numerous young la
dies, too many mothers have followed
Irving's advice. --Norristotpn Herald
"A little Eighth Street girl in study
ing her Spnday-school lesson came 10
the words: "Apd the King of Ninevah
covered himself with saokoloth and sat
In ashes" This was q puzzler. FL
nally she saidl Papa, what kind Of
ashes Is satin ashes, that the King COW
cred himself withp"- Troy Times.
"A determination to succeed in life,
accompanied by the necessary judg-
ment and well-directed effort, must win
sooner or later. A young Man in
Bridgeborough, who had the Feputa-
ton Of having never earned cent In
his life, resolved b turn over 0 new leaf
and no longer be dependent upon
others. He engaged in the poultry
business, and raised fifty choice fowls
In one night. There were more on the
roost, but some got away.-M r
Weekly.
-="Well," said Mr., snaggs, looking
up from his paper, "a seat in the New
York stock exchange has lust been sold
| for S94. .000n uMercyrf oommentedI
Mrs, Shaggs, 'who is going to slngF'
"Singr howled Snaggs. "Whqt would
they sing for at a stock exchanged
Have you got an idea it is kind Of q
concerto 7'Well, don'tg cross, dear.
| thought some foreign singer would be
there, or seats wouldn't be'so dear. "
Pittsburgh Chronicle.