Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1886-06-16
PrrH AND P0IEh

A TEMPERANCE Notwithstanding
on the water.
A MAN who writes poetry in his hat
is q versatile o
IT is not considered necessary in soci-
ETY. to return a bill-collector's call.
WE suppose a Arm of proof-readers
could properly be called 1.-THE house Of
correction"
A MAN v realizes how much of a
sponge he is until he slips down ia a
puddle and mops 1t all up.
IT was a seaman returned from On
Arctic voyage who spoke of the disad-
vantages of a cold deck"
I'LL make you dance!" cried an
irate mother, pursuing her erring son,
slipper in hand. "Then," remarked
the juvenile, Eve shall have o bawl."
GERMAN professor of drawing to new
student-"Just bleeze boint owt vich
Won of dose statues you half drawn
from, den will l your drawing griticise."
"DD you hear the lecture last night?"
asked Williams of his neighbor Beas-
ley. mo" replied Beasley, my wife
wasn't at home."-Neuman Independ-
ent.
GRocER-"Half n pound of tea?
Which will you have, black or green?"
Servant -"Shure, aythur will do. It's
for an ould m that's nearly
blond"
GONE firm in Western Massachusetts
last year made 130, 900 drums, using
half a million feet Of lumber, and So, 900
sheepskins." We now see where so
many drummers come from in sleeps
clothing. California Marerick.
Mrs. YERGER is much given to CAD
ding. She is everlastingly on the
streets, while Col. Yerger is much given
to staying at home and smoking his
pipe. II believe You love your nasty
old pipe more than you do me-" she re-
marked, Indignantly. II guess I do.
My pipe doesn't go out as often as you
do."-1eras Sittings.
The Trial Justice in q South Caro-
lima county was called on to decide a
CASE between two citizens Of equal re-
~spectability. The evidence was about
equally balanced. After argument by
the attorneys the Trial Justice said: 81
sit here both as Judge and jury. AS
jury l fail to agree. As Judge l grant
a new trial, and it is SO ordered"
A GOO story is told of a Kentuckian
who was fond of fine whisky and al
ways kept his jug. He il was who said
II never saw any mean whisky. Some
is better, but all is good" One night
when he had company at his house he
was observed to take one guest out at a
time and treat to q choice swag. When
asked about this he said: "Why by
drinking with them singly / get half of
my whisky myself. ee?"-Atlanta
Constitution.
A MAN went to a Dakota lawyer,
handed him so as a retainer, and said
IL had a little trouble with n of my
neighbors yesterday. You see his hogs
got into my yard and did some damage
and / shot one of them. Now l want
-" "My good friend" broke in the
lawyer, 81 positively can't listen to any
more of your case without another ten.
Money is absolutely essential to the
legal profession, never expect to secure
advice without making a liberal appro-
priation. "-Esteline Bell.
THE PARTED LOVERS. 3
In the calm and lovely moonlight,
In the soft, romantic moonlight,
Silvering all the sleeping world, two
Lovers walked.
And their hearts with passionate yearnins
Both were filled, with eager yearninS,
As with conversation saccha-
Rhine they talked.
But not long there in the moonlight,
In the soft and tender moonlight,
Did they wander close together,
Yet apart!
For all love must have its ending,
Everything must have its ending.
And sometimes when they don't want to,
Friends must part.
Not a word they spoke at parting.
Not . tear they shed at parting.
As adversely they sped DER the
Garden plats.
But one wall OF bitter sorrow,
Tenor sorrow, alto sorrow.
Echoed through tho shuddrriny moonlight
From the catsi
-gOnnPrejfIp Journal