Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1886-12-18

HThat don't bother me any more than it
does a mountain to serve as background
for a nanny goat and a pair Of sore-eyed
mules"
ayes, but the mountain sometimes has an
opportunity to drop an avalanche on EN-"
At this point of the discussion they arrived
at the company grounds, and had scarcely
time to snatch up their guns and don their
belts before the company moved out to take
its place in the regimental line.
The occasion of Lieut. Pancakes elaborate
personal ornamentation now manifested
itself. By reason of Capt. Benefits absence
he was in command of the company and was
about to make bis first appearance on parade
in that capacity. Two or three young women,
of tho hoIlyhock order of beauty, whom he
was very anxious to impress, had been brought
| to camp to witness his apotheosis into COM
J manding officer.
| The moment, however, that he placed him
self at the head of the company and drew
sword the chill breath of distrust sent the
| mercury of self-confidence down to zero. 1t
| looked so easy to command a company when
some one else was doing it; it was hard when
he tried it himself All the imps of confusion
held high revel in his mind when he attempted
to give the orders which he had COINED until
he supposed he had them ''dead-letter perfect"
He felt his usually unfailing assurance shrivel
up under the gaze of hundreds of mercilessly
critical eyes. He managed to stammer out:
| attention, company; forward, file right,
march,"
| But as the company began TO execute the
order, it seemed to be going just the opposite
| to what he had commanded. and he called out
excitedly:
| Not that way! Not that wayl said file
right, and you're going left"
I'VE are fling right" answered some one
in the company. You're turned around;
that's what's the matter with you"
| So it was. He had forgotten that when
standing facing the men he must give them
| orders in reverse from what the movement
appeared to him. This increased his confu-
sion, until all his drill knowledge seemed gone
| from him. The sight of his young lady friends,
clad in masses of primary coloIs, stimulated
him to n strong effort to recover his audacity,
and bracing himself up he began calling out
the guide and step with 4 noisy confidence
that made him heard all over the parade
ground:
Left! left left! Hep! hepi hept Cast
| them head and eyes to the rightF
Trouble loomed up mountainousy as he ap-
preached the line. Putting company into
| its place on parade is one of the crucial tests
of tactical proficiency. To march a company
to exactly the right spot, with every man
keeping his proper distance from his Gle leader
-"twenty-eight inches from back to breast"
clear down the column, so that when the
order front is given every one turns, rs if on
| pivot, and touches elbows with those on each
| side of him, in a straight firm wall of men,
without any stumbling CLOSING up, or side
stepping" to the right or left-to do all this at
word of command looks very simple and easy
| to the non-mihtary spectator, as many other
very difficult things look simple and easy to the
inexperienced. But really it is only possible to
a thoroughly drilled company, held well in
| hand by competent commander. 1t is some
thing that, if done well, is simply done well,
but if not done well, is very bad. 1t is like
an egg that is either good or utterly worth
| less.
Pancake seemed fated to exhaust the cate
CORY of possible mistakes Coming on the
ground late he found that gap had been left
in the line for his company which was only
barely sufficient to receive it when it was
| hi3S'NN anu Nt4Aiih'li
In his nervousness he halted the company
before it had reached the right of the gap by
ten PAGES, and 50 left about one-duarter of the
company tapping over on the one to the left.
Even this was done with an unsightly tumble
His confusion as to the reversal of right and
left still abode with him. He commanded
| right face instead of front" and was
amazed to see the whole one hundred well
| drilled men whirl their backs around to the
regiment and the commanding officer A
laugh rippled down the ranks of the other
companies; even the spectators smiled, and
something sounded like swearing by the adj
| jutant and sergeant major
Pancake lifted his plumed hat, and wiped
the beaded perspiration from his brow with
the back of one of his yellow gauntlets,
| "Order an about face" whispered the or
derby sergeant, whose face was burning with
shame at the awkward position in which the
company found itself
| "About-face!" gasped Pancake.
The men turned on their heels.
| "Side-step to the right" whispered the Or
Derby
~Side-step to the right" repeated Pancake,
mechanically
The men took short side-steps, and follow
ing the orders which Pancake repeated from
the whispered suggestions OF the orderly, the
| company came clumsily forward into its
| place, dressed and Opened ranks to the
rear" When at the command of parade
rest, Pancake dropped his sabres point to
tte ground he did it with the crushed feeling
of a stIutting cock which had been flung into
the pond and emerges with dripping feathers
He raised his heart in sincere thanksgiving
that he was at last through, for there was
nothing more for him to do during the pa
rade, except to stand still, and at its conclu-
SION the orderly would have to march the
company back to its quarters
But his woes had still another chapter The
inspector general had come up to camp to in
snect the regiment, and he was on the ground
Forty years OF service in the regular army.
van promotion average OF one grace every
ten wears, making him an old man and a
grandfather before he was lieutenant col
onel, had so surcharged Col Murbanks ma
ture with bitterness as to make even the very
air in his vicinity seem roughly astringent
The wicked young lieutenants who served
with him on the plains used to saw that his
bark was worse than his bite, because no rea-
sonable bite could ever be so bad as bis bark
They even suggested calling him Peruvian
bark, because a visit to his quarters was
worse than strong dose of quinia
"Yeth, that'th good" said the lisping wit
of the crowd. "Evely bite it'll bit, amt
III And the wortht mutht be bitter, ath
he it'll"
The colonel believed that the whole duty Of
man consisted in loving the army regulations
and in keeping their commandments. The
best part of all virtue was to observe them to
the letter; the most abhor1ent form of vice to
violate or disregard even their minor pre-
cepts.
His feelings were continually iacerated by
contact with volunteers, who cared next to
nothing for the form of war making, but
everything for its spirit, and the martinez
heart within him was bruised and sore when
he came upon the ground to inspect the
regiment
Pancakes laundering in bringing the COM
pany into line awakened this ire from a pas
pt,- ~ 70 4.r-It,