The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1886-03-17
Massey.
MFR. Sasby is Enlightened as 20 the
singular Course of the President.
CoSFEDERIr \ ROADS,

CONFEDERIT y ROADS.
lNich is In the State OF Kentucky
February -, 1886.
| he'd a converssshen with prom
inent Dimekratic manager Nv Looi--
vile. reparBin the extraordinary
slownis NV the President In cleanin
out :se Republican raskels, wich hey
bin fatteuin on The publick Offices
for "a years and putin in ther pla-
ces honest patriots like meseli. 81
ne:
"Yoo don't know what a acoot
statesman Grover Cleveland ls- de
is plavin il low down on the Re
rublickins. for be intends TO keep
the government In the hands Nv
the Dimocrisy, wich is hisself, iur-
ever.
"ro wich Dimocrisy do you re-
fer ?" | asked.
The Dimocrisy Nv wich he is the
exponent. His polisy is 10 dislnte-
CRATE the Republican party, and de-
stroy il entirely. To this end ne is
re,ainin in offs the heft Nv the Re
publikin offs holders, wich is room
TO our enemies. The Republicans
wjch is in offs are the most active
workers in the Republican party. 1t
is them wich rallies to the poles,
wich votes early and often. and wich
brlogs in the agid and in6rm 1t Is
them wioh bleeves in the Importance
Nv one vote, and wich pays iur brass
bands AID slch. Now, no Repubil
kin offiis holder wich Is continnered
By Cleveland kin, with any decen-
cy. rally to the poles or bring 10 the
aid and infrm agin him or bis ad-
ministrachen. Tney won't be act
i've, to say the least. A hen settin
comfortably on lis nest is quiet and
c1ntent-chop that hens head of
aud it hops fnriously and spirits
blood ia yoor face. The Republi-
ken offs holder is a settin hen. This
course knocks out Nv active work
thousands OF zrlns men, aud GER
tain per cert. Nv em will vote with
the Dimocrisy, TO hold their places.
/ shoodent wonder ef he shood de-
eide to appoint nothin bat Rspubli-
kins to oifils, in order to weaken the
enemy Do you see
a shood say | did, ] replied.
But in the meentime wat is TO be-
come of me2 Wat yooze WIZ it fur
nee TO rally 20 the poles, aud vote
early and often to elect Grover
Cleveland, ef / don't git the offs |
hev bin ,crnin fur fur a yeers Wat
good Is a Dimekraiic administrator
rua by Republicans? Wat better
on ana | then ez tho Blame ned bin
elected? But go on. Ny pashense
is not quite eggshaustid.
Then to further weekin the Re
publikin party and take the wind
entirely out NV ther sales, he perpos
es to adopt iher polisy. He is ma
kin q vigrus fife fur civil 5ervis re-
form, he is opposed to any speshl
tinkerin with the tariff, and he is
everlastingiy down on repoodiashun
and all that, and ef ther is Repub-
likin noshea that he hezn't adoptid
don't jist know it. Yoo kin east
ly see how it week.-mrs. The Republi-
kins to adopt their polisy 1t
knocks EN- out NV the ring, Decoz,
yoo see, they hevn't any ishoos."
see" replied, 4" but wat be-
comes of Dimocrisy? 1t is jist the
same in this ez 1t is in the matter
Nv offices. Ef we are agoin to do
all that Blame would hev done, why
in blazes didn't we elect Blame =?
Then sat is becom NV them Dino
Gratis which RELY do b!eove in the
distinctive principles Nv Dimocricy ?
Their are DimocraIs wich bev no
shens Nv their own. Ther are moss
bax wich votid for Jaxn, and to
them Dimocrisy meens suthin. |
am free to say that ef the President
viii give me the offs wich ] am ell
entitled to that | don't keer a dam
wat he asks me 20 believe. | am in
the aere and waller leef, subsistence
is necessary TO me. IL don't make |
much difference wat | bleeve durin |
the few remainin yee' : hey TO stay |
Gid the pin with post offs and I'll |
swaller it, no matter what it is |
When | went into the fite last yeer
there was inscribed onto my banner 1
the two P's under which | hev aliuz /
Got, PRINCIPLES AND PROvENDER. |
ain't SO pariikeler ez to Principles,
but ! must hev the Provender. The |
Conscience may be slilled, but the |
stUmick never. Principles won't |
give man the Bracer in the mornin |
or the Soother at mite. Principles |
won't pay Bsscom or make goo solid |
at his bar | will take EN- both to-
gether, but ef kin only hev wun it
must he the latter.
" But when you ask me TO turn a
aip-hap into Republikinism and not
hev the post offs, my stumiek re-
bells. That is too much With the
kentry run on Republican prinsi-
piles and the ofiises flled with Re
puhlikens, / don't see wat the Dim
Ocrisy hev made 1t isn't the fest
sposed ] wuz goin TO sot down 10,
anyhow"
The diseushn closed with this
feel al that | sed. i'm blessed ef IN
goin TO swsller Republikinism and
Lubbock, the niger postmaster,
both. Eff the President wants me to
foller him into the Republican camp
under the Dimekratic flag, must
oe put somewhere in the viseinity
nv the baggage. | don't carry a
musket solely fur the benefit Nv the
general commandin. | want some
uv the plunder myself
PETROLEUM V Massey.
(Rebelyus)