The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-08-18
Pith and Point.

~ DEATH nOIlce IN Il new y DIX paper
cordially invites relatives and friends " to
the funeral.
COUNTRY editors bewarel A new hundred
| dollar counterfeit has Just been issued.
-Phitddeiphia CAL.
I'll see you later" was a favorite ex-
| preston of Mr.. Tilden's when he desired to
avoid committing himself.
WoMAN's greatest glory is her hair and
she should be very economical of il when
she is cooking.-,SomerUHle journal.
ACCORDING to an official report there
were thirty-seven deaths by starvation in
London during the past six months.
THE bishop of London is the greatest
| drinker OF tea that has been known in En-
gland since the death of Dr. johnson.
SINCE the explosion of tank of oleomar-
garine out West the average boarder passes
the butter very gingerly.- PhHddeiphid call.
ALWAYS aim little higher than the
mark" says an exchange. What, kiss a
girl on the nose? Never-Y onkerS Statesman
A VERMONT postmaster recently received
| the following order from a box-holder:
i" Postmaster, please give my male to the
| bear"
A FARMER at Paris, ILL.,, has 900 bushels
of corn in crib which he has held for a
high price since 1890 1t is now nearly
worthless.
ENGLAND has a Dicky Bird Society COM
posed of one hundred thousand children.
Its aim is to encourage protection of birds
and animals.
" Boil your drinking water" is the moral
OF the Glasgow epidemic. This costs trouble,
but it returns a good insurance in health for
the MISUNDERSTANDING Press.
The remarkable statement is made that
during the twelve years following the death
| of Charles Dickens, 4,239,00O volumes of his
works were sold in England alone.
AN Irish magistrate asked prisoner II he
was married "No," replied the man.
"Then," said his worship, amid peals of
laughter, " it's good thing for your wife"
DURING a visit gentleman regales a child
with caramels. " Pepito," exclaimed the
mother, what does a well-bred boy say
| when he receives candy?" "More -
Mexican Paper.
NET BUNTLINE, the story teller, recently
deceased, when receiving salary of $4,000
year is said by friend to have been con-
stantly in need of money and constantly
asking small advances from his employers.
CocoANUT culture is growing rapidly
along the lower coast of Florida. The keys
from Biscayne Bay to Key West contain
many thousand new trees, and there are
tens of thousands from one to four or five
years old.
LITTLE Niagara Boy (nineteenth century,
Ma, can | swim the whirlpool rapids this
afternoon" Mother: " No, my dear, not
this afternoon. But the first time 90 to
New York perhaps will let you jump off
Brooklyn bridge"
ACCORDING to Chinese paper, instead of
taking dog out to walk Chinaman car
ries cage, imprisoned in which is bird,
and when he sits down to rest he hangs the
cage upon tree in order to enjoy the melody
which the bird pours out.
"MATTIE, Mattel" called an Omaha dame
to her daughter, " do wish you would play
something besides Wagner. am 50 sick of
1t" am not at the piano, ma" re-
sponded the daughter from an adjoining
room. Then who is it ?'' " Nurse and
the baby. "-Omdhd World,
SCRAwLEY: Writing any stories now?"
Scribbler: "No; what's the use? There is
too much competition to admit of any profits
in the literature business. When you can
get Shakespere's complete works for TWEEN
ty-five cents, what's the use of trying to
compete with foreign authors?"-Rdmbler.
HENRY WoRTHINGToN of this city, young
man of twenty or twenty-one years, has
just completed a mosaic quilt. 1t contains
6,022 separate and distinct pieces. 1t was
begun last fall. Henry put in most of the
cold long winter evenings of last winter at
the quilt instead of fooling them away list
, tening to the silly giggings of some GIRL
Geneseo IU) Ne,cs.
A SMALL boy in Minnesota has broken up
=. a whole circus. He tried to crawl under
the tent. A CanvaSman caught him and
beat him over the head with a stake. The
canvasman was arrested and fined. This
led to quarrels, lawsuits and attachments
and now all the circus property belongs to
the lawyers and the performers are walking
toward New York.
The following devout paragraph appears
in recent number of the HdnptOn ga J
Enterprise: " By the abundant mercies of
our Heavenly Father, the much-knd atten-
ton of many dear friends. and the skill of
Drs. Folsom and Turnipseed, we are able to
4
lily on the convaescent list. Bless the
Lord, q my soul "
MACHINERY is being manufactured in
, Pittsburg for a kind of steamboat which it
is claimed will draw only six inches of wa
I ter. The boat will be propelled by wing
like paddles, which fold up as they go for
ward and expand on the back stroke. The
inventor, John Dougherty, thinks he can
increase the speed greatly and run vessel
from Halifax to Ireland in one day. The
fastest steamers now require six.
They We're playing comedies at a country
house to kill time. The lady of the house
was receiving, with the usual amount of
modest protestations, the congratulations of
her guests. Indeed" she said, "you are
too complimentary. l am quite well aware
that to I'LL the part properly one should be
both very young and very beautiful A"
mot at all, madam; you have just proved
i the contrary" was the too eager response
ment afterward, would have given all his
old boots not to have said it.-Ttt-BitS.
A BREACH of promise suit rivallng in hui
morous developments that in which Mr.
Pickwick was so badly involved has Just
been tried in Durham, England The plain
tiff got verdict of only Sl25 although sew
eral such poetic etfusions as this We're read
in evidence, having been sent TO the fair
and wronged Sallie;
As yields the rose unto the bee
So thou each thought dost share;
Thou art the music of my life,
| Thou art my dearest stream,
My garden with sweet blossoms rife,
Thou art a quenchless beam,
Shining upon my lot of strife
A haunting, glorious dream.
THE Netherland steamer Waesland, which
left Antwerp on the 18th and arrived at
New York July 22d, reported that at noon
on the second day out and just after the
Waesland had left the channel whale was
seen floating on the water directly in the
vessels course. No attempt was made to
avoid it, as the natural impression was that
1t would get out of the way of its own ac-
cord 1t declined to move, however, being
fast asleep, most likely, and the steamers
sharp iron bows struck full and fair about
midway of its length. There was per-
ceptibe shock to the vessel and an imme-
date checking of her progress. Passengers
and deck hands ran forward to see what
was the cause of the trouble and found that
the whale, which was fully eighty feet long.
| ha1 in t,Na To-, a 4