The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1886-02-11

The Democrats used 10 cry "turn the rascals
out!" They quit it just before the Legislature
met.
night-watchman in a powder-mill near
Xenia, took a smoke, few pays ago. So did
the mill.
One of Sam. Jones' great truths is the state
ment that he loves the old song, "Oh to be no.
thing!
"What room will take ?" asked the miner.
sTake your pick and go to work ~ said the
Bank Boss.
"Ah, it is not all of life to live!' sighed the
criminal, as he struck out for the Cincinnati
Work House.
About the only consolation this cold weather,
is the thought that the Bohemian Oats Swindler
| will freeze to death.
Spring chickens will be much more tender,
the coming Spring. The freezing they got this
Winter will help soften them.
Panorama of the Battle OF Gettysburg was
| burned at Columbus Rink. Who will say
| that no good comes of the rinks?
Fred. Mussey says the stylish virginians have
gone to wearing knee -breeches. Pity that more
of them didn't wear neck-suspenders.
Democrats rejoice in the thought that .Cleve-
land is bigger than the Senate. But there are
more of the Senate than there is of him.
| -
man in Hooking county got so mad because
the teacher whipped his boy, that he went to
the school-house-and got whipped himself.
+.+
The roar of the big gas well at Findlay, Ohio,
can be heard for distance of ten miles. This
beats anything since the days of Gov Allen.
*a*
Bob Kennedy would be more popular with
Ohio Democrats if he spelled his name with an
"a." They always liked the name of Canada.
-
man was killed at Newark while singing
"Bock of Ages" His murderer will have a
chance to sing "Let Some Drops Now Fall On
| Me-"
| New Albany, Indiana, brewer shot and
killed himself, while playing with pistol, on
his beer-wagon. So the Devil has tapped new
"keg!'
The Democrats want conference about
the Hamilton county matter. But there has
been too much "Inference' for Democratic
hopes.
"The Governors Guard are organizing a bat
terry, with gattling guns" This is possibly the
| result of the alarming news from Holmes
county.
An eastern dispatch says "several million
aires visited Sing-Sing.'' They have a COM
mendable curiosity to know how such places
are run.
Ed. Wilson, of the Ironton Register has the
audacity to ing uire after the peaches, while the
i1
Ohio River.
Jake Alt, of Springfield. fell dead while bring
ing bucket of water. Many a man will take
heed of this solemn warning against the use of
water.
A dispatch from Ottawa, Ont, says "ten thou
sand persons in want" Why don't Cleveland
send them their appointments, and tell them
to come home?
The Columbus Dispatch says: "1f Donavin
can't come home by rail, he might try swim
ming" Well, he did! At last accounts his
head was swimming.
An old soldier, who served with Crook during
the war. expresses great Indignation that the
Cincinnati Post printed picture of Santa Claus
portrait of Gen. Crook.
One of the laughable things of this life is to
see Cincinnati papers, file with lottery and
beer advertisements, and reports of Sunday
games, and bowling for moral reform.
'''If it hadn't been for the church, what would
ha' been ?" whined an old map, in class-meet-
ing.
can honest man - cried a small boy in the
hoa alr oarf/N he
Rev. B. F. Dimmick, of Dayton, believes that
our Father is willing to grant unto us "far ex-
ceeding abundantly above all that we can ask
or think" His wife had triplets the other day.
+.*
An Indiana young man took arsenic and
they tried to pump him out. They saved him,
but came very near killing him by pumping all
the whisky out of him.
The best thing the Hamilton county fraud
pretenders could have done would have been
to go to Canada and play martyr. Their en-
thusiastic admirers might have taken up a
dime contribution for them.
Edison's new system of teegraphy to and |
from swiftly moving trains, has been success
fully tested. The man who runs away with his |
neighbor's wife has but chance-he |
must foot it.
Sam. Jones spends good deal of his time lee
turing wives and mothers. Some of these who |
have never gone astray, might ask how long |
Sam. has entertained such tender regard for |
their feelings.
How visions O. the past will ever and anon |
return! The picture of Reed, of Maine, Repub-
lican leader in the House, at once creates the
impression that he must be a son of Ben. Butler.
"Miss gave progressive euchre party,
and Mr. carried off the prize" says an
exchange. The proprietor OF Jackson dog
gerry gives progressive seven-up party every
night, and the winners drink up the prizes.
A young married lady of Fargo, Dakota, ran
away and came to Tiffin, Ohio college, as a
student, because she "didn't love her husband
That she preferred the company of modern COL
lege students, is terribly rough on the husband.
Said the chairman OF a public meeting
"We1l change the time of meeting tomorrow
night, from seven to nine!" Every Democrat
in the room got up and walked out, remarking |
that he "had heard enough of that kind of in
Suits"
A wealthy Chicago lady spent ten thousand
dollars celebrating young sons birthday. A
few years hence, and he will probably be travel
ing with minstrel troupe, on a salary of three
dollars week.
at is said that the Payne representative in
the Cabinet has bought a $4,000 necklace
Ironton Register.
Donavin thinks he ;can prove that Payne's |
representative at Columbus spent nearly forty |
thousand dollars for "night-caps' for Legsla-
tors.
as he all sound ?" asked the purchaser of the |
horse-t trader.
y nllSn