Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-21
BRIGHT BITS.

ALTHOUGH the relations between the United
states ana Canada are strained, they don't
seem to be very clear Burlington Free Press
IN Philadelphia the fve-cent BARRIERS have
threatened to raise the price to ten cents. and
society young men in the Quaker City are In
sore dlstress.-Puck
;. :. Cox hiss sent fine Egyptian mummy
TO thls country. He probably is desirous OF
introducing some new features into our Jury
system IDnkers Statesman.
WOMAN's PRIDE.-He tagitated)-Maria.
your bonnet is on FIRE.
She calmly is it? Then it's different from
any other bonnet on the street.-Tidbtts.
YES, SIR" said the sailor, Il have seen a
whale that could swallow q boat" 'Oh, that's
nothing" said the landsman, II have seen a
small man who could swallow a schooner. -
Boston Courier.
my DEAR" he said, "what is the difference
between Ingenious and ingenuOus?'
The difference between Il and i, my love-"
she replied and he scratched his head for a
diagram - Washington Critic.
"OH, sIR,"sald a woman, pleading for her
husband who was before the Police Judge for
beating her with POKER. she wasn't always
that way. There " as happy time when he
only struck me with his fstn'-Teeds Siftin1s,
SHE Ito young man, who had been talking
IN somewhat gloomy veinl-Aren't you
somewh hat Of pessimist. Mr.. L.?
Mr.. Ii beg your pardon.
She-Aren't YOU something Of a pessimist Z?
Mr.. L.-N-no; I'm bicyclist.-yeqO York
Times,
THE popular Telephone Company has
been organized at Concord under the general
Jaws of New Hampshire. If the laws Of New
Hampshire can make a telephone company
popular, they had better be applied to ali
such companies in the country. -LOtoeU
Courier.
MADAME was reoounting that her husband
Was i'll the night before, and it was necessary
to send for doctor at O'Clock in the morn
ing. But thought yon had doctor in the
house. your eldest son?" said nelghbor
'True, but we only let him doctor the
servants. From the French.
any dear" said an anxious wife to her hus-
band, who is running for Office, 1--WE must
ecOnomIze in every possible way"
Il do econOmlze." he replied.
Yes she said bitterly, ''yOu spend $40 or
SIS day in treating a lot OF barroom loafers to
beer and whisky lust to get them to vote for
you. Do you call that economy
Certainly, that's political economy,"-Life
DIR. MARY WALKER, it is reported. has lust
inherited $4,000. IL is hoped that she will not
squander all her money on velvet striped
etamine overskrJs, PINK silk bodices, polo
naises Ia prlneesse, passementerie embroid-
cred vests, fchus, pldstrons, jabots, white
chuddah things, and other frIvOlities Of fem
mime wear. Our clothing merchants are ad-
vertising ''c0ats, pants, and vests for $l2 -
Norristo1on Herald.
CHAPLAIN-This is your third term in this
prison. Are you not ashamed to have your
friends see you here?
Abashed cOnvict--lndeed, am. The prison
is disgrac-ful. The reception room smells
like a barroom, the cells are dark as caves,
the warden is no gentleman and the table is
not fit to sit down to. Ashamed TO have nv
friends come here? 1 am mortified every time
| see them, but what can d02--BrOOkEyn
Eagle.
AN EYE TO BUsINEsS-"I think, +" said a pas
senger on a street car to his neighbOr, and he
spoke very earnestly, II think that a man
who would ask a barber TO keep his shop open
on sundays ought to be boycotted. II men
want TO get shaved on Sundays, they should
shave themselves. law ought to be passed
to that feet" III.
you are barber, presumed"
mo, sir, am manufacturer OF court.
plaster. '-Nel0 York sun.
He was a tramp printer, and behind the
bar he espied a former fellow TYPO, dealing
out the ardent. Both shook hands and warm
~ greeted each other. "Have take, old
pard?'' asked the bartender.
You bet" was the joyful reply, "about
three sticks Of solid agate " The barte nder
set out the whisky.
Have it leaded?" asked the bartender, lift
ing a pitcher OF water.
"None Of that" he replied, raising his nand
I to guard the fluid, mot even q space or EN-
quad"
lie turned it OF at a swallow. set down the
empty glass and remarked: at Is locked in
my form and I'll go to press your next
neighbor for little s'pi,'" and he was gone
- Whtfeha0 Times.