The Arizona sentinel., 1886-08-21
ABOUT MARRIAGE.
Some Plain Talk to Women by One of the
 Most Noted of Their Sex.

Most Noted of Their Sex.
 Whether they are sufficiently honest to acknowledge it or not, ninety-nine girls out of every hundred look forward to marriage as a matter of course. It would be better for them and for their future husbands were this taken into account in the training of girls, and without teaching that single life must be empty and unsatisfactory, yet in- struct them that, as matrimony will probably be their destiny, they should fit themselves for it, not only by train ing in domestic duties, but by the study of gentleness, forbearance and unselfis h ness
 A blessed provision of nature often overlooked is the change worked in a woman's disposition by love. If the sentiment be worthy of the name, the deep, strong affection from which alone marriage should spring, and not mere passing fancy. the tendencies will be to awaken all that is best and noblest in the heart "Old things are passed away, all things are become new" Looked at by this fresh, true light, little deprlvatlOns, petty economies, small sacrifices-and even large ones-be- come burden to be embraced and en- joyed for the sake of the one with whom they are shared.
 Occasionally wife may be found who is sufficiently devoid of womanli- ness and generosity as to sigh over the immunity from care she knew before her marriage and to reproach the hus- band of her choice with his inability to provide her with the luxuries she craves. Such a creature, however, would not have been improved by wealth. Sometimes prosperity seems to have a sweetening and ennobling ef- feet upon natures which adversity has narrowed and hardened, but as rule those who can not stand poverty with out becoming embittered are not fit for riches.
 The custom of early marriages has, perhaps wisely, fallen into disuse. The title of 'old maid" is no longer con- ferred upon woman who remains sim gle until twenty-five. More 2 rls marry within year or two after that age than five years before it. There are both advantages and disadvantages in the former system. Youthful judgement is prone to be harsh and unsparing, and it may well be questioned whether the larger proportion of happy marriages are not those formed after twenty-three rather than earlier.
 Another objection to boy and girl matches is that they are likely to be the result of accident instead of choice. The fancy is readily captivated when one has seen little of the world, and many man or woman in later life shrinks with repugnance from mar riage which seemed altogether desirable when neither was out of the teens. Ex- captions to this only prove the rule. Its truth may be attested by the fact that there is not one man or woman out of fifty who will not acknowledge hav- ing been the victim of some youthful flame of which the memory br ngs no pang, but only sensation of amuse- ment slightly tinctured with disgust. The youthful love is very real, too while it lasts and causes such alterna- tions of bliss and misery as to fairly persuade the sufferers that it is the right thing. But it differs as completely from the affection of riper years as do the stumbling, tottering steps of child from the firm, assured tread of a man.
 The early marriages of our grand parents are sometimes quote1 in justifi- Of fha ht1t hau changed since then. In spite of the hustle and hurry that make ten years of the nineteenth century equal to forty of the seventeenth, the age at which young men and women conclude their scholastic education and launch themselves into the world of business or pleasure is steadily grow ing later. Boys and girls colleges are increasing the age at which pupils are adm tied It used to be thought noth- ing unusual for a youth to begin his collegiate course at fourteen; now it is equally common for him to postpone his matriculation until he is seventeen or eighteen. Few girls are graduated from finishing schools or seminaries under nineteen or twenty, while those who take regular college course con- tinue their routine of study even later. | The girl wants her swing in society be- fore she settles down to married life, while the man has his business or pro- fession to acquire and his position to gain in the world before he can serious 1y contemplate taking unto himself a wife.
 If a special training be necessary in the preparation of woman for mar- riage, it is no less important for man. This is fact that is generally over- looked. A great deal is said about the beauty of gentleness and unselfishness i in a woman, and of the need of her possession of these qualities in making i true home happiness. But unless these facts are glaringly apparent in a man they rarely provoke adverse criticism. i The question is sometimes asked upon the announcement of an engagement, "Is he good enough for her?" but his peccadilloes are seldom submitted to the i keen examination to which hers are subjected.
 It is a common habit to lay the blame upon woman's shoulders if home is not peaceful and happy, except in cases where the husbands well-known vices preclude this. Even then there are al ways censors ready to hint that if the woman had made domestic life all il should be she would probably have les; cause for complaint. While open courses of extravaganza, intemperance or lnfl-