The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1886-11-19
a SHORT sUMHea SERMON.
Brothe1 Gardner Gives some wholesome
ADVICE to one Enterins AIatrimony.

Brothe1 Gardner Gives some WhoIesons
Advice TO one Entering SIatrimOny.
Brudder Amibad Cautilsver. II am re-
ported DAT you am about 70 take unto yerseB
wife Dac De report am true your recent
ackSLlllls am PROOF You has ban sen pgicia'
secondhand stoves, squiu1lu' az TO- dollar
b.sdrCoIn sweets, an rJlstllu' ar-uu arcar brio
brac Marriage ar4 muffin YOU need be
ashamed Of, an / reckon yCu kin depend on
dis club % warm up d. house fer vou an
leave behind some b1- i-b1tc9rned cheers an
few articles Of rlnHare.
BruIIEr CaE-lla-c-- marriage am q lottery
" dead sure rEIEg-5ls- a. YOU make Il II
yol Elr STUCK on sl-L--1a.l III Law vid q zal
fCr Der small fee-. czTer-u' waist 6iuulei
chin OF v8rb.l1' Uclt. an marry her off
hand a. about twelve weeks uoris. YOU
needn't le asrcuisa=d If dar am a dynamite
'sp.0~hLa zf1ce y1l Lev bin hirched a week
Sinai fest am a good temper doan' allus 20
together SHIN waists an kitchen economy
U1aE nos work Ia de same harness. De gal
who charms you bv de way she drums De
plaEuer may fatty refuse As a wife
q rI1 dem same fingers 0ber de
Wa-haod Firstly. dlau git married
until y-u know what you are bei1' fined 20
study ta -aL Let DE- feet 70 an watch her
temper. Let De hau-~ 20 am watch her. econ
ouE E-l-er you mind about de way she
d-mps- der chin. hut ak yerseif If she'll make
d- bed wil de foot lower dan de head. You
has .s1- IL do all ie srudvin'. Not one Eai ont
oE q thousand ed=r stops IN size up a luver
II .lls trreciau nose OF curly h'ar or droopin'
mu~-ache STRIKES her fancy, she'll uebber stop
to study h-s uatar- nor tu worry ober his
habits She Is rnarryIu' dar nose. or head. OF
Di'~-aele- \ month ar-eT marriage. when he
hauls her ar1un by Dc hair and slars her
dlupl=ti Jaw she's perfectly astoni-hed 10
think she made SIGH a mistake
Secondly, BrrI5dar Caurjlevar. arter de knot
has bin tied make mp yer mind dat De fucher
won't be all plain sailIu. You are gvviue %
he tried an testei an -rubbl=d an YOU hev
-5- n cal up all yer manhood You viii
ar d sasser scrapiu DE- bottom Of DE flour
bari when You hevent got a cent in Yer
pocket De wOodpla wIll run ont In Jinuary,
an lie sugar an bacon VIII seem TO be carried
1tt by d. rats II Yer wife am cher 50 good
aatlred she wiI bev her trials an tribuia-
sLu-s, an dar may be times when she'll
III up an claw fur you In de vars gone by
my ole woman has rushed upon me- wid de
rDiLIn pin, an has ret0rraI IN a way TO make {
her ears ache. bat all lie tine I knOwed she (
was savIl' an good hearted an she knowed /
III empty my pockets OF de las shllin TO buy T.
her a new set Of false fries. II You am 4
suited 20 each Odder an occasional row IN de /
fam ly VIII prove a sCiczin' plaster 20 hold We
le clusser together. IF you amt suiced-if (
you dlslcIver dat YOU hev struck a patch Of .
Canada thistles an cant s3t sim, an If de oil
der party dlskITers dat she hes taken a tLm-
bic or lie monument Of Romance an brought
up wild shud II lie mud hole Of Reality. YOU
J5t absqlatulate apart BruIder Cautllsvar.
my teelIns an de fe=lins Of dis club am wid
y@- an our good wishes together wId az least
- wu4'rh Of tIuware, kin be counted on when
ever de fatal occashun arr0ves.