Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1886-01-14
Shall the Red Man Wear Breechess

|
Shall the Red Man Wear Breeches2
| The Yume Indians, it is stated, held
q grand council recently, and resolv-
ed to adopt pantaloons as an article OF
dress. This may be all right, but we
have an armour-plated uspicIon that
it will turn out to be all wrong Wear
ing pantaloons is one of the gifts to
which men are born. and is not an art
that can be acquired n day, or made
easy by resolution, as our copper
skinned brother will lind after more
intimate acquaintance with the pccu.
| liar garment that m kes white man
boss in his own wigwam. Many of
tho stalwart-minded among the pale
faces have been trying for years to
| wear the pantaloons for the whole
country, but they are still MS far from
doing so us Satan is from paradise An
Indian may know how to live on raw
dog for months at stretch, and ho
may know how to have oceans Of fun
and make the Government lots of
trouble by getting on his mustang and
swooping into frontier town like a
cowboy going after WHISKY. but he
will discover that he cannot encase
his frost btten legs in the broadcloth
| OF the suns own children and lie
around in the dirt with haif as much
comfort as he can with the brooches
he was born with. The red man can
have no earthly need of pantaloons
anyhow, unless he intends 10 wear
them around his neck to keep mos
quitoes ont of his ears, or wants to
come East and take situation as
scare crow in somebody's garden, in
which case they might be of some
practical utility. The Big Jimson of
the counsel fire may be wise in skull
duggery OF his people, but corduroy
pantaloons will wear him out as GER
tainly as he undertakes to subjugate
them. lie may know how to get more
work out of his squaw by well APP
piled kick in tho ribs now aud then than
his baldhoadcd brother OF tho cider
press can get out of pair of mules
worth three hundred dollars by the
help of a blacksnake wagon whip and
all the profanity he can turn loose, but
it won't do for the deluded child of
nature to crawl into PAIR of overalls
and expect to do any business on the
warpath worth naming. lie would be
| mistaken for a hod carrier and put to
work so quick it would discourage him.
| We believe in progress, and always adj
vocate advancement in everything ex-
cept the price OF board whenever op.
| portunity offers, but we do Motive
cannot, believe in full blooded savage
with breechcS on. 1t night do for
| half breeds or folks who sell remedy
for removing ingrowing nails from the
| pit OF the stomach. but the moment
you swaddlo up the legs of genuine
warrior with anything so unpoetic as
a pair Of pantaloons with patches on
the appendix TO the same. he looks too
much like hired man to be any lon
ger interesting for dime novel mater
ial. We can stand angels in mother.
hubbards, oreven spooks in ella ham.
mer coats. if we must come to it. but
so long rs we have q voice and room
wherein to swingit. that voice will be
raised against allowing the high step
ping son of the forest 10 look any more
like dude than nature made him.
The next thing we know he will drop
a resolution making eye glasses and Il
| plug hat the proper thing for full
dress on bear hunt. and if permitted
to have his own way about such mat
| tCio, "Hut StGullLi Hubc We lUtJ no
will not debase himself still lower, and
make his prosperity ashamed Of him
by calling for cigarettes and perfum-
eryP If the jack rabbit of the tribe
is allowed 10 decide for himself in
such matters, and that. too, ut n time
when his judgment was most kelly
STEPPED in fire. water, there is no telling
where this foo!ishness will stop. 9th
er excuses of costume will be sure to
follow, and the next thing in order
viii be for the squaw to bang her hair
and adopt a resolution that she must
have high heeled shoes and hustle
We must draw the line somewhere,
and we might rs well do it before the
goods are ordered. BY all means let
the glue coored child of the prairie
nave whatever is right an | proper in
the way of beads as dazzling as the
patches in n crazy gu 1t, blankets like
Il house on fire. all the arms, ammunl-
ton, fire water and so on that may be
necessary to keep him on good terms
with the devil; hut let us not chafe
his proud spirit by taking his legs in
and out OF the weather, and thus max.
ing h frame effeminatn, or the first
thing we know the arrow limbed idiot
will 20 to work and civilize himself
and relieve the government from all
| further unCasincsS on his account,
thus throwing ont of employment
large number of deserving partisians,
VINO now get well paid for doing all
that roguery can devise to keep him
in savagery.- Chicago Ledger.