The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1886-04-08
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Some Tall South Carolina Yarns Spun by
the Detroit Free Press.

Some Tall South Carolina Yarns Spun by
the Detroit Free Press.
"Well. boys" said a veteran to a
crowd collected around the stove in a
hotel in Wheeling, w. Va, "you fellows
have been telling some big tales here
tonight, but you just ought to 60
down to South Carolina and hear them
spin 'em; why, they take all the breath
from man. Just after Sherman went
through they used to tell big war tales
about .burnings, and skirmishing, and
so on, but they've quit that now, and
all the lies are very peaceable ones.
When I was down there two years ago,
one night I was at Florence, and the
fellows were all waiting for the Colum-
bia express, and the way they did spin
the yarns to kill time was caution" ="
"Uncle Bill" said one Of the group,
''if you don't mind, tell US one of those
storieS."
"Well," said the old man, who in
fact loved to draw the long bow, II
don't care if l do. In the first place
you must know that down there the
people amt particular about the dol
lars as they are up here; 4 Charleston
imam would rather work for fifty cents
a day, and have his joke, than get a
dollar In a dry way. AS l was going
on to say, we were at Florence, and
there was one in that crowd that could
outlie all the rest of us put together.
He was telling about Kershaw County
COWS; they were so big that one of them
supplied whole township. They
milked with a steam milker, and ran it
iIf big stone tank, and then every
man in the neighborhood could con-
meet his house with it, just like your
house is with the waterworks. Folks
down there don't drink much whisky
they drink milk and water more than
one-third Of the time. But that story
was nothing to the story of the Sump-
ter snakes. Down about Salterstown
they killed one, and he was so big that
the niggers cut him up in rings just
like they would watermelon, cleaned
out the hide, sat it up on end, built Il
roof over it, and they had a house so
close that cold couldn't get in.
''And talking about cold, that re-
minds me; they have pretty cold
weather down there sometimes. About
six years ago a blizzard came along
one night and blew all the fire out OF !
farmhouse chimney; the old man
waited until the wind went down, and
he built it up again with lightwood
knots. After while the wind came
roaring along again, and went rushing
down the chimney. The wind went
down and the fire went up, and they
had tussle; and they tusseled and
tussled, when all of sudden there
came big lump of fire down on the
hearth, frozen like rock. The farmer
picked it up, and put it on the shelf,
and thawed it out the next morning
to build another fire with. The fellow
said an Edgefeld editor was respon-
sible for this lie.
"The cold down there doesn't keep
potatoes from growing though. They've
a breed of potato in South Carolina
that grows so big that they don't plant
but one sprout; that makes one potato,
which is large enough to last family
all winter. They never dig 'em; just
scrape the dirt off the top, cut off as
much as they want, and cover it up
again. They never can bring those
sort of potatoes to West Virginia. The
reason is they grow SO big and so fast
that they burst the railroad cars open
and fall out on the track and obstruct
passage for hours. Mules are worn
out things to lie about, but I don't
care, they have kicking mules down
there. too; and one thing funny about
South Carolina mules is, they never
die; only one was ever known to die in
that whole country, and butcher at
Camden killed him and sold him for
beef. A Colonel bought shank, and
made some soup out of it, but the first
mouthful he took-the soup, mind yon,
not the shank-projected him out of a
two-story window, and he did not come
to himself in three days.
"There is q grocer at Mayesyillc, who
bought lot of hams-got 'em cheap
and they were actually so strong that
one night they got up, unbarred the
door, went to the depot, and captured
the mail train and rode to Timmons-
vile without paying any fare. Some
folks said they had shippers in 'em; but
they didn't, although they did skip
around right lively.
"The trains down there run pretty
fast, too. Just to give you an Bexample.
One morning the Atlantic Coast Line
train was crossing the Wateree River
trestle when she struck u broken rail
and jumped the track. 1t happened
that the telegraph wires were on the
same side to which it jumped, and they
were just about the same gauge as the
track; anyhow the whole train landed
right on 'em, as plumb as q die. The
engineer saw that his only salvation
Was to pull wide open, so he pulled,
and away they flew at the rate of 1870
miles an hour. By the time one tele-
graph pole broke they were away
across the next one, so they never did
hit the ground, but kept right on, and
busted in the telegraph office window
at Columbia; the operator said it was
the stunningest dispatch" but the
voice of the porter interrupted the old
man-"lights out" and the boys crawl
ed off to bed, awed by that frightful
example and inwardly swearing never
to tell another lie.