Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-08-01
BRIGHT BITS,

MORE ADULTERATIoN.-Maste of the house
gthe man mas called to look at the meter
Dear me Well, wouldn't have believed it.
Actually watering the gas now .-Grdphic,
dispatch says that the Concord School OF
Ihliosophy is now discussing Greece. Ne are
glad TO see that the oleomargarIne question Is
attracting the attention of such eminent in
observation-disclosures american.
DIsOBLIGING: Mrs. Million-We ought to
go to Europe this summer, you know.
Mr.. Milllon-ImpOssible. | can't leave the
factory.
Mrs Million-Such gumps of men as you
have; they never strike at all.--OmdhG World.
IT 10 told in Washington that after GER
tain senator, noted for his absent minded-
ness, came to this city for short visit, this
memorandum was found in his room:
Things TO take along: One pair socks, one
shirt, two collars, one pair cuffs, one wife,
Neto York Sun.
SARCASTIC old thing! Husband-I have
been making my will dear. Leaving you
everything, with-ah-full power to remar-
Wife-Oh, darling, never!
Husband es. love, and with a sardonic
chuck!el, IN that case | shall feel assured
there VIII be at least one who will daily de-
plore my death Punch.
SLANG WITHOUT POINT
The man who in a steady way
His course through life has threaded
Is. in the language Of to-day,
Extremely level headed"
In taking terms like these on trust,
One can't be too particular,
The man whose head is level must
BE of his perpendicular.
Boston Courier.
A CONCORD CUPID.-
Women no longer fall in love
Now,
SO says at Concord Mrs.
Howe.
IT'S doubtless true. Why should men care,
Pray?
Philosophy has found a better
Platonic subjectivity a.
Whlrl
Is Just as nice and cosey ina
Girl -Boston Record
Two MEN were playing billiards in a Min
nesota town when cyclone arrived. One of
them was about to attempt a very difficult
shot. suddenly the storm came, the roof of
the building was torn open and the billiard
table sucked up and swept away. The play
ers We're stunned, but unhurt, and some days
after, IN beating the neghboring fields, they
came upon the billiard table, upright and
perfectly level, with the balls in precisely the
same position in which they were when sur
pflseu py the tempest. Having their cues
with them, by fortunate chance, they went
to work and concluded the game. -Te1Gs SIT
5Hgs.
AT an evening party in Chicago literary
lady VINO wants her city to clothe itself in
tAO Lol pul PIC tlldb MISS cleveland so
beautifully and touchingly alludes to, turned
to her nelghbor, successful pork merchant,
and SAID:
Don't you thinklthis Shakespearean con-
troversy, recently awakened by the cipher
revelations of Mr.. Donnelly, will result in a
renewed interest in Bacou?''
Renewed interest in Bacon?"
"G es; isn't Bacon rising?"
"Oh, certainly madam, certainly, bacon's
coming up every day, but lard is way down. 20
Teas SJtings.
OUT-PLATOING TIE PLATONISTs.-
A Texan has foored the Concord crowd.
Sing high. and sing no! for the great South
west;
He sent 'em paper to read aloud,
And twas done up in style by one of their
best.
The Texan he loaded his biggest gun
With all the wise words he ever had seen
And he fired at long range with death grim
fun,
And slow all the sages with his machine.
He muddled the muddlers with brain-crac
ing lore,
He went IN SO deep that his followers were
drowned
But he swan out himself TO the telluric shore.
And crowed in his glee DER the earthlings
around.
ENVOY.
o Plato, dear Plato. come back from the mast
And Wen forgive all that you e'er did To
veXus
If you'll only arrange for colony vast
And whisk these philosophers all of To
TeNas.-ETchd1ge.