Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-05-29
BRIGHT BITS.

TO THE nenpecked husband life is fowl
existence PhtlddeIphtd Herdld.
THE CHAPS that raise the most dust when
tney strike are carpet heaters .-Bost0n
Courier.
\ STRIKER who was found with two cans of
tomatoes IN his pockets was arrested for
carrying sealed wea pons.-LotoeU Cittssn.
'Now. my lad" said Prof. Booselv to
youngster IN the arithmetic class. IF hal 81
now would reduce it to centst' by get
ting whiskys with it, professor" was the little
TAU reply.-Lndtd71dDOttS HerdEd.
''HE lives above his station"
Was what the people aid:
And true-he was the depot man,
And lived up overhead.
- Yonker8 Gazette.
LIGHTNING struck the residence of W. H.
Tears, of Eau Clare, Wis last week and de-
mollshed 1t entirely. Those who have tears TO
shed Will please send the shed to Mr. Tears
until he can build new house.-Yeaomaas m
dependent.
FATHER. do they throw physic to the dogs
in the hydrOphObia season."
'No, my child. That advice was given
when drugs were cheaper than they are now,
and the apothecary found it hard work to sell
his medicine. "-BoSt1n Badget.
"WHAT is that Bicycle Man doing. fatherP
See! he has Jumped Forward from his Wheel
and is putting his Face to the Earth Is he
Kissing it?''
40, my son; the Man has his Ear to the
Eartn; he - Listening. He thought he heard
Something Drop.''-DetrOit Free Press.
"WHEN 1 hear stories of odd PRAYERS. - said
a certain colonel, ~ always thi1k Of one
heard offered by an old darkey down on Shin
Island during the war. He prayed: 'sOh,
Lord, ransack de wor' all cher on a w hire
brass and simple ngle9'-Eschdnoe.
A YOUNG MAN in Toledo died from eating
81 raw eggs. lie deserved his fate. He should
not nave made aglutton Of himself. Twenty
five raw eggs are enough for anv yOuug man
at one meal. and unless he oversleeps himself
and has only Ave minutes to get down to the
office on time he had better wait until thew
are cooked.-N0rristOapn Herald,
YES" said Mr.. Sharp. i've been PLAYING
the detective. | went TO Montreal disguised
as a bank robber. made the acuuaIntance of
my cashier who robbed me OF $500. became
his bosom friend, won all nv money back play
cheaper than eXIraditiOn, and more satisfac-
tory and expeditions" -Lo10eU Citizen.
HOSTESS SUNDAY morning in Washington
is there any particular minister you would
like to hear preach, Penelope?
Penelope visiting from Boston)-Well, il
you don't mind, auntie. would like 10 hear
one OF the foreign ministers. l am quite pro-
helent In languages, YOU know.-7id-B Bits.
ENGLISH TRAMP-I 'aven't 'ad no food to-
day, sir, an | can 'ardiy odd my 'ead up.
Won't you give me some 'elp. an 'eaven Will
reward you. sir.
Benevolent Citizen-Here's a dime.
English Iramp-A dime won't go far, sir.
What 'ad 'ungry man better buy?
Benevolent Citizen-I think YOU h ad better
buy yourself an IL as a starter.-Teras .Sift-
iHOS.
ONE OF our prominent business men il fire.
quently detained until ate hour by the
pressure of business On. This morning his
wife said to him.
That was splendidplay, last night wasn't
what play. my dear2"
The one yOu attended with Miss Nebbins."
"Why-i-yOu are mistaken. my dear"
"Oh. don't think Pm angry, John. was
also here and had such a pleasant escort"
''The devim
"Oh dear no. He was perfect gentleman
and enjoyed his company as much as / did
the play"
POUNDS. madam! What right have YOU TO
attend theatre in company with another
man?"
THE same right that you have to attend a
theatre IN company with another woman"
"WhO was the villan?"
"My father, y Chjc7g0 Sun.