davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

little change this summer. Hus-
band-You can, my dear. Here is
twenty-five cents for you.
Ayers Sarsaparilla has such con-
centrative, curative power, that it is
by far the best, cheapest, and surest
bloOd-purifer known.
1t is said that when Jay Gould was
a boy he used to lead the horses down
to the drinking trough. This indi-
Gates that Jay began to water stock
very early in life.
Have used Tongaline in neuralgia
with perfect success; one was a case
ofneuralgia of the heart.
j. II. CLARKE, M. D., Cuba, Mo.
A lady writer asks, "Why don't
bachelors marry?" That's so-why
don't they? Come to think about it,
we have never yet seen a bachelor
who was married. It's lamentable,
too.
There is nothing so dear as cheap
medicine; it is dear at any price.
This is true of the large packs of con-
dition powders now sold. Buy Sheri-
dams Cavalry Condition Powders
and you can't make a mistake. The
large packs are utterly worthless.
There is photograph of the late
Alexander III. Stephens in the posses
sion OF Major Lama Cobb, of Athens,
Ga, in which the Southern statesman
is represented as sitting with his legs
crossed and the bottoms of both feet
resting squarely upon the floor. This
was a favorite position of Mr.. Ste
phens, and it is said that no one has
yet been able to rival him in this
acrobatic feat.
Badness may be avoided by the
use of Halls Hair Remover, which
prevents the falling out of the hair,
and stimulates it to renewed growth
and luXuriance. 1t also restores faded
or gray hair to its original dark color
and radically cures nearly every dis.
ease of the scalp.
Mr.. Hoar, from committee on judi
ciary, has reported favorably the join
resolution providing for a constitu
tional amendment extending the pre-
sent Presidential term till Both O
April, instead of the fourth of March
1889, and providing that the term o
the fiftieth Congress be also extended
to that date.
There is no remedy in the world 81
valuable to use in the case of suddel
accident or illness as Johnson's Ano
dyne liniment. 1t can be used inter
nally and externally, and its powe
is truly marvellous.
Fayetteville Observer: The Refere,
Court expired by limitation on las
Friday. The Judges have worked
continually, early and late, setting al
example the Supreme Court ought t,
have followed. They found ITO
cases on the docket, to which wer
added 800 or 900 more, and all, excep
about 200, have been worked off.
One gets a strikingidea of the mag
nitude Of this country from the state
ment of the Rev. DIR. Barrows that
the entire population of the globe, es
timated at 1,4OO,OOO,OOO, were divided
into families of five, the State of Tex
as alone could give each family hal
an acre of land to live upon.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
LODGES.

u & A. M-Warren, No. 125-1st Monday
L night in every month, in their hall over
the court room. NJ. D. SMALLMAN, w. NJ.
DOYAL ARCH CHAPTER-3rd Thursday
IL night in every month.
r. KENNEDY, II. P.
+ 90. F.-McMinnville, No. lac every
L. Tuesday night, their Hall over Won
ack Il Colville's S. LIVELY, N. q,
r. E. Crowder, Sec.
Rebekah Degree, meets First Thursday
night in each month.
MRS. j. p. GARTNER, N. G..
MISS JENNIE l. vELY, Sec'y.
KNIGHTS OF acknowledgements City,
N No. l40; meets in Masonic hall I'd and
4th Monday nights in every month.
A. B. RAMSEY, Sec. THos. BLACK, D.
KNIGHTS AND LADY'S HONOR-2nd
II and 4th Thursday nights in every month
A, H. GROSS. P.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
Lodges atIAltamont.

Alto, No. AIS, F. and A. M.-Meets Sat.
urday on or before the full moon in each
month B. S. eagle, w, NJ; II. B. Northcut,
Sec.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
DR.. Gums Liver Pills

Removes Constipation, prevents Ma
laria, cures Dyspepsia, and gives new
life to the system. Only one for a
dose. Free samples at w. H. Flem-
inU,C g
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

Overwork is the most ridiculous
vice of which a man can be guilty.
New York Star.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

Churches at Altamont,
N. e. Church, SOmh.-Services LIST Sab.
bath in every month at 8 p. m. j.. s. Black.
wood, P. C.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

Passenger trains pass Tullahoma going
south 10 NO III, 5S p m and 6 l0p m; go
ing north, Is p m, 20 a m, 90 M
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

"There are two things which posi-
lively will not eat for supper" said
Gubbins. "And what are they ?"
asked his friend. Breakfast and
dinner" was the reply.
Itch, mango and scratches of every
kind cured in 80 minutes by Woolford's
Sanitary Lotion. Use no other. This
never fails. Sold by j. B. Ritchey,
druggist, McMinnville, Tenn.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
PATENTS.
Franklin I'll. HOugh,
Solicitor Of American & Foreign Patents
925 F Street, N. w.
Near U. S. Patent Office, Washington, D. C.

Personal attention given to the prepare
ion and prosecution of applications for Let
tP9 er.ttsnB . All business before the U. S.
Patent office attended to for moderate fees.
When patent is granted, a drawing of your
invention, with claims, your name and adj
dress, will be published in the United States
Patent Office Gazette, paper of immense
circulation, and the only paper that pub
fishes this free.
&S~No agency in the United States pos.
sesses superior facilities for obtaining Pat
ents, or of ascertaining the patentability of
Inventions,
Copies of patents furnished for 25 cents
each.
Couespo ndence invited.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS made miserable by
that terrible cough. Shiloh's Cure is the
remedy for you.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

CATARRH CURED, health and sweet
breath secured, by Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy.
Price 80 cents. Nasal injector free.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

WILL YOU SUFFER with Dyspepsia and
Liver complaint? Shiloh's Vitalizer is guar
anteed to cure you.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

SHILOH'S COUGH and Consumption
Cure is sold by us on a guarantee. 1t cures
consumption.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

For lame back, side or Chest use Shiloh's
Porous Plaster Price 25 cents.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

THAT HACKING COUGH can be so
quickly cured by Shiloh's Cure. We guar
antee it.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
Myriads of Cures

Achieved by AYERS SARsAPARILLA, in
the past forty years, are attested, and there
is no blood disease, at all possible of cure,
that will not yield to it. Whatever the
ailments of this class, and wherever found,
from the scurvy of the Arctic circle to the
"veldt-sores" of South Africa, this rem
edy has afforded health to the sufferers
by whom it was employed. Druggists
everywhere can cite numerous cases, with
in their personal knowledge, of remark
able cures wrought by it, where all other
treatment had been unavailing. People
will do well to
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22

SHILOHS VITALIZER is what you need
for constipation, loss of appetite, dizziness
and all symptoms of dyspepsia. Price 10
and 70 cents per bottle.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
Grnndp County 1irerfurp.


Legislature.
Hon. A. j. MGElroy, Senator Hon. c. P
Beddow, Representative.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
DYSPEPSIA

Variable appetite; faint, gnawiag feeling
at pit of the stomach, heartburn, Windin the
stomach, bad breath, bad taste in the mouth,
low spirits, general prostratioH. There is
no form ofdisease more prevalent than Dys
pepSia, and it can in ali cases be traced to
an enfeebied or poisoned condition of the
blood BULLS SARSAPARLLA by cleansing
and purifying the blood, tones up the diges-
tive organs, and relief is obtained at once.
DE-. JOHN BULL have no hesitation in saying
that believe your SARsAPARILLA to be the best
medicine manufactured for the cure OF Scrofula
Syphilis, and many other cutaneous and gandu-
lar affections, having used it with entire success
in numbers OF the above cases.
JAMES MOORE, Louisville, KY
DIR. JOHN BULL. - procured one bottle Of
BULLS SARsAPARILLA for my eldestson. Among
the remedies and various prescriptions that he
has tried forw lungs and chest, this one bottle
has been OF more benefit to him than all. j has
cured me OF Dyspepsia as we'll
JOHN s, MCGEE, Horse Cave, Ky.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
WHY AND WHAT.

0, why did the chimney sweep?
And why did the Goldfish ball?
And why, 0, why, didthe peanut stand?
And what made the evening call?
0, why should the baby farm?
And why does the mutton chop?
Can you feline what makes the elder blow
Or what makes the ginger pop
Say, why does the trundle.bed spring?
And why does the saddle-horse fly?
Or what meal 'ur made the pillow slip?
And why do the soap-boilers I've?
What made the monkey wrench?
Or why should the old mill dam?
And who did the shoemakers strike?
And why did the raspberry jam?
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
Ayers SarsqpaM

Is the only remedy that can be reliedupon,
in all cases, to eradicate the faint of hered-
itary disease and the special corruptions
of the blood. 1t is the only Alternative
that is sufficiently powerful to thoroughly
cleanse the system of Scrofulous and
Mercurial impurities and the pollution
of Contagious Diseases. 1t also neu-
tralizes the poisons left by Diphtheria
and Scarlet Fever, and enables rapid
recuperation from the enfeeblement and
debility caused by these diseases.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1886-05-22
KIDNEYS

Are the great secretory organs OF
the body. Into and through the
Kidneys flow The waste fluids con-
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08

In a Justices court in Washing
ton, Ind, not very long ago. a
rough, as well as profane customer,
was arraigned for trial for some
petty otfense, the justice Of the
piece being q local preacher. Ever
and anon, as the case proceeds, the
prisoner ut the bar would endulge
in emphatic profane language, for
which, in contempt OF court, he
was duly fined. At the time refer
red to the state law provided that
an offender could only be fined
certain number of times in one day
for contempt so when the lawful
number had been imposed, the pris-
oner's attorney whispered to him
that the court "could not fine him
any more that day."
The fellow on trial then rose and
said, beginning humbly:
"May it please your honor, Of the
court: have been fined to the linn
it of the law for to-day"
Then straightning up and look
ing the Rev. j. 2. square in the
face:
"Your honor, eye hath not seen,
ear hath not heard, neither hath it
entered into the heart of man to
conceive the contemplate opinion
/ have Of you, Squire Billy B.
you reverential old son Of gun J"
and then the court adjourned.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08

ave been in Graceland cemetery
twenty six years. said John Kane,
the grave digger
I'm that time I have dug nearly
10000 graves with my own hands.
Yes, sir, there are $4,000 graves scat
tered around here, and the first 25.
900 of them | dug myself Then
began to get old and the business
got heavier, and the company got
me two helpers. have dug more
graves than any man living. Why, /
have buried herea bigger town than
the capital of this State. / have
throwed up more than 2,000,00 GU
bit feet of dirt That would make
pretty big hill, wouldn't itar
live dug some pretty big graves
he continued, propping himself with
the handle of his spade. II dug one
here III 1866 for the Norwegian giant,
they called him. He lived on the
West Side. don't know how tall
he was, but his coffin was nine feet
lcng.'
Il had to dig a big grave for Mr..
Newberry's body. You remember
him! They sent him back here ON
balmed in rum He weighed eight
hundred pounds--cof1in and all I
mean. II took four of us to put Linn
in the grave
'But the biggest grave I dug was
for o big negro woman, who died
about four years ago. The grave
was SO big that it Tapped over into
the next lot"-Chicago Neacs
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08
Wise as = Serpent.

He had back load of feather dus-
ters as he rang the door-bell on Mont
calm street the other day, and when
a woman opened the door about two
inches and said that nothing was
wanted he inquired:
Madam, will you kindly inform
mo who lives next doors"
'sNext door?' she asked, coming
out on the step, why its new fam
lily, and don't remember the name.v
''Lady puts on good deal Of style,
doesn't she ~
Rather ~
81 thought SO. That's the way with
those sort of people; they put it all
on their backs. / asked her il she
didn't want buster to dust off her
upholstered furniture and bric-a brac,
and she slammed the door in my
face She didn't have any to dust,
you see. People who have plush fur
niture and articles Of virtue and taste
always want my goods. Pleasant
day, madam y
"Y es. What did you say the
price was 7"
"Seventy-fve cents, madam, and
the woman next door is peering
through the parlor blinds at us.v
s'Is she? Well I'll take one, and if
there should be any other invention
to dust bric-a-brac and oil paintings
you might call around. You may al
so bring me box of polish for my
silverware.n
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08
letting The Cat Out.

She was in the parlor entertaining
young DIR. Pillgarlic, while her big
sister was putting the finishing touch
es TO her toilette upstairs. When
she was munching the candy he had
given her, she suddenly put her hand
to her cheek.
"Oh, dear. I've got toof-ache ~
II wish my teeth was like sister
Lillie's,v she said airlessly,
"Why?" he asked.
"Then when they ached l could
take'em out an put 'em in mug till
they got through
And then sister Lille, who had en-
tered led her out with the remark
that, ''little girls should have been
in bed long ago"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08
ST CLAIR HOTRE,,
FaARTlNSBURG. w VA.

IHAVF refurnisbed this large and commo-
4 dious House--the leading Hotel OF the
CITY. Pavlor and all the chambers fitted
and furnished in irst-class order. All ar
rangements and management orderly and
respectable Table unexcelled Summer
boarders accommodated TRANSMIT travel
lers made comfortable by home.like atten
ton. Kitd and obligiug en- ployees in eve
nv department Bath rooms in the house
Families or person desiring hoard respectful
ly referred to Rev r n Pitt. Hon. J. II.
Ge:tinger, Or 1 A G. Hover, Mr.. Frank
Thomas and her guests, citizens Of Mar
tinsburg. + Y DORSEY,
in IL Proprietor.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08
All Answer wanted.

Can any one bring as case OF Kidney
or Liver Complaint that Electric Bit
tiers will not speedily cureG We say
they can not, as thousands OF cases
already permanently cured and who are
daily recommending Electric Bitters,
will prove. Bright's Disease, Diabetes,
Weak Back, or any urinary complaint
quickly cured They purify the blood,
regulate the bowels, and act directly on
the diseased parts. Every bottle guar
anteed. For sale at SOC. bottle by
II. G. Williams Jr Il Bro.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08
wit and Hurnor.

I liz Ntt9 N1NAttttNo - TVENN1'
! "Undressed kidsn-Cupids.
The scentor Of gravity-Newton.
Awfully bored Artesian wells.
| The sigh Of the seamstress--A-
hem.
The silver problem-How to get
it.
A poor mans plaster--A mort
gage.
The ballheadcd man never says
dye.
Table sauce-Q uarrcling at break
fast.
This is BY no means a forward
| March.
The "color linen is well drawn in
the rainbow
The power behind the throne
The billy-goat.
A girl may frown and frown and
be a willin still.
A bad habit to get into--A coat
that is not paid for.
When man uses high words he
is in low business.
/
Nothing tries the sole of q man
more than shoe peg.
Some of our best buglers belong
to the Toot-on-race.
An Auctivneer does as he is
bid, postman as he is directed.
A growing evil--Your next door
neighbours squalling baby.
If spring poets were hens, even
an editor could afford to eat hen
| fruit.
! The selfish man has most presence
of mind--He never forgets himself.
! The only thing that can make
money without advertising-The
mint
| A prize fighter is always willing
TO take his pay in pounds.
The shoemaker is an authority on
soles; The dressmaker on bodice.
In Paris it costs three dollars to
cremate q body, and it is well urn
| ed.
Little fish are very level-headed.
They always commence life on a
small scale.
A Clarendon s. c., hen has laid
q 5-oz egg-7 by six inches in cir
conference.
A little girl whose baby brother
was ailing said he was only "hatch-
ing teeth"
In some places business is afraid
to revive tor fear OF being hit with
strike.
"a man never loses anything by
politeness.o How about his seat in
| the street car.
Ifyou want TO see quick raise in
the market put bent pin on the
butchers stool.
When man suffers from a stitch
in his side-When he is hemmed in
by crowd.
The price of a young giraffe is 50,
500. A seventy five cent ladder
will do just as we'll.
Plant City, Fla, has l0-year-old
cape jassamine bush 10 feet high
and so feet round.
|
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08

That life's real heroes and hero
ines are those who bear their own
burdens brayely and give helping
hand to those around them.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1886-05-08

To waste nothing, neither money,
time nor talent.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-10
GaMBli ING IN FUTURES.

We are rather inclined to tie
opinion that the Agricultural De-
..2rsuert GU. lit to be aholie he'd. Bui
It Las made one noble suggestion.
Its board of directors have asked the
Legislature to pass la"
20 prevent gambling in
futures. This is right. OF course
1t is gambling nothing more nor less
Some call it commercial gambling
not exactly on the black leg order
But that is a mistake it i. hlacklPe
gambling of the highest order. Tn>
cotton. meat and grain rings of the
North hold. see and examine both
hands, the winning and losing
hands every time before they bet
They know before the day of delivery
and at the time tn. let is
made exactly the price Of eacn ar
ticle sold or bought upon aay future
day. ii the A. ID. will get law
through thu Legislature to prevent
this gam bling We will excuse it fOl
all the sins of commissions as gel
as omission. We have advocated
such a law for six years, since We
first got enchred
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-10

Mr.. Cleveland. it was hoped, LEARN
d something fem experience by
+. his time. Bat he still clirss with
bulldog tenacitv to his nonsens e
and humbugery Oh the civil servlce.
He is ali wrong on the silver .ques-
5soa yet. Some parts Of his message
s magnificent, and gives out no nr-
certain sound. Bat he is eviCentl y
very deficient in common sense
wlsdo Il and statesma n.hip. He
nas no IDEA of the organic alton OF
1sr.ies her the kind of bonds il
requires to hold politics organiza-
tions together.
Two years more will teach him
that the wicked has a har,i road t;
.raveI, and that the people can dis
;iuguish between a genuine article
and q sboddy article of Demo cracy.
We prefer loyalty TO cid an(
tried friends, then their repudiati on
and the seeking Of new ones in ths
camps of the enemy. But ever,
oods to their own notions, as til,
cd lady said when she kissed TIA,
COW.
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-10
What less could Benton have said7

What less could Benton nave salus
If he had agreed with all Cleve-
lands nctious, theories, humbugs
md nonsense be could rot have
been q Democrat. There is not a
Western or Southern Democrat but
endorses every word Benton SAID
There is not a sound Democrat I'D
North Carolina that endorses Cleve'
lard's administration as Whole,
and we don't believe there is one III
the South or West that can 90 one
,nch arther than Benton went, or
could go If they wouli lay
aside policy and speak the honest
sentiments of the heart 1t man
endorses C;eveland's policy, it Is a
proof positive to our mind that
that man is not a Democrat, al
though he may think he is, and IN
tend to be, All the editors claiming
TO he Democrats are not Democrats,
any moro than all claiming to be
christians are christians, or all
claiming to be honest are honest.
We can put our fingers ON dozens
of so-ca'led Democratic editors who
have never learned the A, B. Us
IN the Democratic spelling book .
herefo.e they pitcl mo Us
and Others because we caAt swal
low that mass OF rons.nse and ball
ueadedness in the White House
Mr.. Bsnton's position is exactly TIE
sosition Of the DEMOCRAT, and OF
every sound Democrat in the land
who is not afraid to speak out IL
open meeting. We say, down with
Cleveland ami up with Democracy,
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1886-12-10

The following is IA extract from an
editorial Of our able and esteemed
contemporary, the Wilmington Star
1t expresses the sentiments of every
true Democra.:
However personally high the in
tegrlty OF the President. and how
ever willing and anxious he may be
to make grand record, he has been
q lamentable failure rs the President
Of q porty pledqed to reform In its
genuine sense. He haze made serisu.
blunder., and he has divided his par.
ty ana produced general indiffer>
-ace anadp: thy that.eresagss trou
BILE and disaster if halt Is Tot CALI
ed and salutsry chansss are not in
stitutsd. The Star has again and
again complained OF his errers. be,
gaming with HE hssty attack upon
the democratic memb ers Of Con gress
on the Silver question, and ceztlnued
in hi. veto Of the surplus bill and SC
on. The Star Is sincerely apxisu.
to approve Of all that the Admin E
tcatlon does. but it cannot CO this II
TIE antag.ni.m to the Democratic
party continues. The Star is will
Ing t. csncede that it is better te
have tAe presert Administrator
than to have a Republican ADM mis-
trstion, but there is not as mach diffe1
ence in principles and methods a.
was expected or desired There ar,
too many Republicans in the office.
in Washington AZ elsewhere to suit
Democrats. There are tao man,
measures that are favored by tn.
Administration that are in harmon,
with Republican Methods