davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
HUMOROUS.

A woman refused to give n meal
60 II dwarf the other day, because she
was opposed 10 dine-a.mitc. - BOSTON
GioLc.
a subscriber asks for a remedy for
cold feet. Try banking them up with
sawdu,t; if they still remain cold. set
the sawdust on lire. Pcch's sun.
Young wifc-"John, mother saws
she wants to be crcmated Young
husband -"Tcll her II she'll get on
her things I'll take her down this
morning. - J6d-Bds.
Guest Bring me some smelt"
Waiter owe have no smclt. but wa
have goldfish Guest II want smclt.'
Waiter ''Wcll, sir. the Goldfish will be
-mclt as soon a. il is brought in. -
Chicogo Lcdger.
This china is all hand-painted.
said aclcrk TO prospective customer.
THAT is perfectly proper, sir, perfectly
proper | live in band painted
house And when the customer left IT,
Just dawncd ON the clerk that china
couldn't well be painted by foot
Puck
What is your full nance" asked
the magistrate Of an individual who
had been absorbing more mountain
dew than hc could carry. Same namo
az when I'm sober (hi) Did yer
think changed it (hic) when took
drink "SiXty days. ' - PitisbUrgh
ChrOHicio.
johnson Go Simpkins. 10 whom
hc has just been introduced WHO 10
that dromcdary dancing with that fc-
male giraGeP' Simpkins cd That
dromcdarv is my brother. The giraffe
Is NV wife johnson "Ah YES
well YOU must excuse nc, but ! am
accustomed 10 such terms am
professor Of zoology. IN T. SuH
Architecture IN Maine The owner
of one of the houses saw little girl
taking observations ON the street the
other day and entered into convcr~a-
tiOn with her go Vp-. .' she said II
ike these houses. but my papa don
"WclI. what fault has hc to find with
thcm2' lie says be can drive through
this street because they frighton his
horse Ioriiatd (Hc) Transcript
You see. said q big school boy.
"thc way we fcllOw- prove that If vou
should lose your left eve YOU would bc
stone blind. is tbi-. You lose your LEFT
eye Very well. then Your right eve.
which is all YOU have. is The left one
But you have lost your JEFF one. and -p
have mo- cNc at ail. and must, therefore.
boz stone blind; don't YOU scc?'' TIE
listener u-hcs blindly from the room
W,dtrH EUrOi
magazine devoted ,o Horticulture
contain, m article entitled. What
Can BE- Found iu The Winter Woods "
Among tho list of monsters found
there are UgpUUm Nyist0-c0sfrcHSie.
BOiyYchjHm LVHurJoidDs. Gu4thcriG
DrOcVmbcns, and ChiUUDhii0 OHbeUgfa.
As long IS these fdgifful crcaturcs aro
roaming at large in the winter woods.
children should not bee permitted To
enter such place, unless accompanied
by their parents and = shot gun,
AOfFiV0pH Htraid.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
EOISON'S LATEST.
The wizards Invention for TcIegraphing
To and from Moving Trains.

The wizards Invention for TcIeEraphing
10 "nd from Moving Trains.
] have just had talk with Mr.. Edi.
son, the inventor, regarding his new
invention for tclegraphing to aud from
moving railroad trains The peculiarly
of this system is that small battery
and a small tablc for tho operators in
strmncnt may be placed in any railroad
car; and from these. by means of wire
leading TO the ordinary metal roof of
the car tclcgraphic messages can be
sent through the air to the ordinary
wires that run alongside the track.
The electric current i. drawn by Undue
ton either tO or from the wires, aud IL
i- Oi such a nature that il does not in
tcricrc with the currents which carry
messages along the wires ~ tho usual
manner. Neither i- 10 intcrfercd with
by these currents. No matter whether
there are two wires or two hundred by
the side Of The track. Message can be-
sent or received ON the car without
confusion. All that is needed is To put
in the Edison instrument at any sta
lion along The road iu order to cstab-
li-h communication. And this ap-
paratu- being near by the ordinary
telegraph instrument in the same
Office. message can be- at once for
wardcd bN the regular channel to any
station whore there is no Edison ap-
paraiu.. On the Staten Island rail
road dispatches were sent and received
cVcrl day for a week a. rapidly a. they
would br iu the telegraph Office. that
We commonly use which hayc direct
ft al
marvel about this -yIcm i- that II re-
qulrc, no special wire but enables the
transmission of message. along tho
common wires aud through the air
space between them and any moving
train, bc ihr space fifty or even two
hundred feet wide The secrets Of the
Edison apparatus have not been di-
uiIgod. bat it IS known that IL give. to
ihc electric current musical tone
which !. heard through telephone rc.
ccivcr- The dots aud da-hcs Of the
Morse alphabet arc thus most audible
10 short or long sounds. and the ordino-
r., telegraph hcv Is used Nh Edison
and hi- associate, William Wilc, smith
and y ] GiIliiaud arc confident that
messages may boo sent iu This way ir
stations one thousand miles distant. be-
cause fhc momcut The current reaches
th' wire, it wilI run amy distance with
Out losing ii- efficacy attended the
public exhibition and noticed that there
was Uof iho Ightc-t hitch iu fhc work
ing There 1rr few -kcpiic-. but ihc
prevailing opinion seems tO Doe that thi,
practicable invention j going f1 bo Of
great u-c boo train-di-patching. ncv,pa-
peer reporting police telegraph work
and ordinary business and travellers
message The instrument may bc
placed iu % baggage or passenger car
and changed in few minutes from me
rHr lO another Gr0r0l IUraoW La-
HIap, no Wf0akst SeNH4Ci.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

RvN Mr. Spurgoon, tlir great l.op-
don preacher has recovered MS health
aud has resumed his duties at iiis Lou
don church.
sam Juuv- saws from Governor
down t0 dug pcltrr hr would not
vote fgr man ,hat touched. tasted Or
handled whl-kN So say" his lie.
NJ, >onhchcr i thc name of a new
boy preacher who has had phcnoH-
email success in several Missouri towns.
and draws like Moody ChjcdgJ jour
Hdk
N, daughters Of the president ~
Puncotou College walk twenty miles
to do their shopping, No lum-Yum
toddlv about these girls " /. IrTb-
URC.
Miss Susan Il. Anthony l. said tp
hc a. energetic as ever in her work Inr'
Woman'S suffrage "She is straight
and graceful proud of her work and
smguliir of success.
Miss West the oldest daughtrr OF
the British Minister nt Washington.
has this season taken the housekeeping.
duties from the butler. She says; L
like housekeeping One s 81 mirh
happier and better 10 be- busy. you
know. HdNbtHgfON IUN.
Mr. Charles Gavarrc. the historian
| of Louisiana. vas wcll-gruwn boy nr
fourteen when General Jackson fought
| the battle of New Orleans. but he still
! occasionally publicly lectures in tho
Crescent city aud reads his manu-cript
without tho aid of Eyeglasses. ~ q.
Times
Miss Clara Louise Kellogg recent
! " visited her birthplace. the town oF
sumter :. c.. and gave concert
| there. On the arrival OF the cars tho
| members of her company arose in
| their seats and disembarkcd. siugiu x
"llomc Again in complneht td,th .
birthplace of the diva. ~ T. M0H
The editor Of the SHrcr PUOis
SfdHidrd is trying to play solid witn
the QW,rH be-, hy defending her from
the remarks of this paper We would
! like To observe the phv siognomy of an
editor that would get mashed on Katy.
But We often see strange things when
We don't have gun. CoD,o (CUi)
H,odiighk
At Tampa. Fla, the othcr night.
General harncy had "A reception from
his old comrades. Ilmncy was in tho
Seminole war and ouc night escaped
from his tent in his night-shirt and
saved his life 10y running at full speed.
Alicrwnrd the Seminole chief, speak
ing of his fast ponies. said they could
beat railroad train and beat any
thing except General Harncy. .- Chtcogo
JOB,S.
Eli Perkins otherwise Melville
ID. LandOn, owns two handsome houses
I'm East ScVcnty-siXth street, New York,
in one OF which hc resides. and he re-
Gently bought two more IN East seven
ty-cighth street lie has made several
successful real 6rlatc ,,vcntITcs, His
wife, who was Miss Smith. we'll
known society belle, manages all tho
details Of his lccturing tours for him
and makes hi, engagements. She pos
scsees rare business ability. and much
Of her husband success Is duo TO her
push and energy ~ T. TIHes.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26

and steel i'm the huge pile, but II was
bot Thought to be- worth much. aud the
mailagct' ~ the company were glad tn
get rid uf II ut the lowest puSslhlc cost
and in The easiest and quickest way
The atCH tu'vted hr 'hc refuse Was
called 'madc land, alid u was the in
trntiun of the company To utilize IL fCa
building lots some time in the distant
future. About thi, time a mau named
LLOYD Camr tu Scranton from the
lower part Of the state. lie sought uut
th" Sviictal manager of the company,
and told him that hiau could Wakc
good wages picking scrap iron dtotind
ths edges of the dump. He brought
th" interview TO a,clo~y 10y saying to the
manager.
"Will you give me five dollars ton
FOR all the irou can gather around
hcrrP'
" No, ,it, replied the manager.
"Mill YOU give me lourP'
"No. sir 90
"Nill YOU give me threcP"
mo. Sir
"Will YOU give me two and halfP"
"Ir~N
80 LLOYD went to work picking mp
scrap irotl and pIlmg 1t in heaps along
the foot ui the dump. aud az The end at
the month hc had enough picked mp to
bring him one hundred dollars IluNd
made a little more than that amount
the second month without working at
MI hard. He was cautious person,
and h" wa. afraid that the company
would cancel the contract il it, mann-
ger found that he was getting rich too
fast, and 80 he took it easy for some
time. lie ransackcd the slopmg side
ot the dump pretty thoroughly
each month, and rs fast as the car-
were tipped up and cmpticd OF their
contents hc took good care To rake ont
NIL the small pieces of iron before other
| ear loads of refuse slid down the slope
and covered them up
Every thing went along nicely Tor
eight or ten months, and LloNd was
doing 50 we'll that hc neglected TO bc "a
cautious rs he had formerly been. Ono
would have said that there was hip
| bonanlu Tor him i'm the thousand, ni
| tons ot refuse i'm the heap. At amy
| rate he thought that he might rs well
work it u little liyclicr than he had
( done. He cleared three hundred dol
lars one month, and that was the last
of his contract The manager told
| hun That he couldn't rake and scrapc
around the heap amy more, and chat
The company would do It's own rakmy
ard Scraping.
! Ihcn one of the company forcmcn.
VIII" had told the general manager that
| there were mines OF wealth i'm the Gin.
! der dump. made preparations To dig
into the mammoth heap and sift the
/ iron out of every square foot OF il. Hr
got machinery in place. so ns TO saw,
/ ~ much labor as possible. and began
| to mine into the bowels of the artificial
hill at one particular point The crust
| panned out satisfactorily, hut tho in.
! lorlor of the heap was found to have
been on fire for many years. The iron
! had become oNidilcd bv the heap and
I wa utterly worthless, and the project
/ Of searching. for untold thousands was
at once abandoned IL was learned
aftcrward that LLOYD, who had rcapcd
q harvest OF the dump, was ah old
hand at the business, and that hc
| chucklcd 10 himself when lac learned
! that the foreman wa- preparing Ia
/ search Tor thousands OF tons of iron i'm
the bowels of the heap, Scranton (IFt)
| or. ~ J. TjmcS
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
THREE SOMEsoDlES

SomcbU4y : leaning o or palng
Nhete trClllScd roses tyiufnr hna and
blow: WI"
somebody with f"rVor unaVaiiiug
l. pleading Tor an auSwcr-''Ncs Or no.''
S1.n"oodN half pOuting and halt sInilng
hoIls ir"sh'y gathered roses iu h"u hant {
somebody so daintily bcguiliugi
PICKS rose to pieces a. she stands
= beryl. viii YOU lot me have an answer
- O., or no, sweet (which is itf'' asks he.
Not word replied his fair entrancer
but hutns aud scattets rose leavts-husy "a
somebody eN, lains: oh cruel B.ryl.
. u" lct me- In or order me away
somebody says: Enter NJ your u.riu
NherC you are order YOU To AtsN."
oymcoOIl' outside tho garden. fsminp.
, - Walking up aud down tho muddy lane.
somebody among tho roses blooming
O Appears 10 hnd a pleasure in his pain:
somebody, lu shadow in "a DOORWAY
NhSrN ttelised roses twiue and intertwino
NUuI way, w
Ha' ha. When was young. il wasn't
mfns 80
soiaebody 10 somebody Ia pleading
a. bcry shd't STAY. dcarf--yes or no"'
Someoody lnt last point CCnCcdlugi-
. III you wish To- tcdrc mc-Nou can go,"
somebody, who darCs "A rcprimnudins
. Dcshcs az the gate-CliCk! goo- The latch
eOmebOdy 10y somebody - Standing
somebody unseen s. on the watch,
SoneIOij - kNsct-thow ca rage rises
when love prevails, ,--" MY own.-my love'-
my litc"
somebody two somcbodes surprises:
ieryl you bc towel of q wifpl'
-thdHes Johns, ia CGS-eus Fumtlv MGussi,,s,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26

Tho advocate Of the twenty four
hour system of numbering The hours of
the day are making rapid progrr-, in
Introducing 10 The Canada 4 Pacific
Railroad Company is said to hatc
adopted it. and at the last meeting ~
the American Society of Civil In
ginccrs. the Committee ON Standard
limc reported its belief that the rail-
roads generally will have adopted ii
within the coming year - current
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26

Besides the above-named rains there Is n
way Train with assenger car Rttache that
goes both East and West daily except Sunday
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26

The word shenandoah mean, "the
daughter OF the stars"
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
PICKING SCRAP IRON.
How Nan Got An the pront Ont 81
Huge Cinder Heap.

Many years ago the L1ckawunna
Iron and Coal Company bcgauto dump
The cindcrs and other refuse from it-
steel mill on 20 piece Of low land 70 short
distance south OF the main hu.no..
part Of scranton. The refuse was at
hr-t "mptirs out of The car, from thc
summit of the ridge, and a- thc heap
grew thc tracks were moved to tho
edge of The deposit the top Of which
was constantly kept lcvd Iu tho
course Of few years thc refuse coy-
cred several acres nud wa. from
twenty-five Co ihIry-GYo feet deep.
There Was. nevertheless. -oru iron
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
b. Il o. r. r. TIMETABLE,

o. Condensed timetable of passenger train,
Tor the stations named below
WESTWARD
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-26
Was Jumbo an Elephant?

Big and tall ~ Jumbo was. he had
not attained 90 his full size and was cV-
pected 10 grow for three or four years
to come. lie had grown considerably
since his arrival in America. His food
consisted Of grain. bran. hay. vogc-
tables, such IS carrots or beet roots.
etc. and Of these article. be- consumed
between five hundred and siN hundred
pounds per day. lie drank about three
barrels Df water a day. ln addition to
his great sine there were several pe-
culiar physical features about Jumbo
which excited much curiosity among
naturalisis, and led some eminent
scientists to expires. the opinion that he
was not an elephant at al. bat that he
vas allied 10 the old and now extinct
mastodon species In his back there
was deep hollow. where. in other
elephants. there was large convex
curve. and his head was curved ion a
marked manner where other elephants
are hollow His knees too. were not
IN the same place r. arc those of other
elephants They were much nearer his
thigh. making The upper part ~ his
leg unusually short and 'hc under part
unusually long KeHt (EHg) HerGld.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-08-18
Opinions of the Bradford Opinion.

Senator Edmunds with his usual arrogance,
cannot help showing his natural propen-
sites. Now that he sees his way clear to
reelection, occasioned by most of the coun-
ties bowling in submission to his greatness
and acknowledging him to be the most of
the republican party of the nation, spite of
his refusing to save the party and candidate
in 1884 by even a good word chat costs moth
ing), now comes forward and volunteers the
opinion that the republicans can win only
by nominating presidential candidate from
the West in 1888. What occasion is there
for this rap on Mr.. Blaine, who will proba-
bly, be the next candidate, and all the other
good, true and able eastern statesmen that
are far from being among the impossible
candidates. OF course Mr.. Edmunds by
his own injudicious acts, has removed his
name from the list of possible presidential
aspirants as much as Curtis, Schurz Bur-
chard Il Co., all of whom worked for the de-
feat of Mr.. Blaine. Republicans of YER
mont, are you going to elect this man. and
clothe him with all the power and influence
of this great position, to repeat the actions
of 1884, thereby doing his utmost to thwart
the wishes of the masses of our beloved
party throughout the country? Mr.. Blaine
is the personal choice of the great majority
of republicans wherever you go, from the
Atlantic to the Pacific, fact which none
will deny, and If he lives will be nominated
Edmunds probably prefers Hon. John Sher-
man of Ohio, statesman of known ability
and honesty, but as frigid and calculating as
our great iceberg-monarch of Lake Cham
plain. The people want men of heart as
well as head MIR. Edmunds will do better
to smother his real sentiments toward men
in his own section (who have honest aspira-
tions and are capable of filling the highest
positions) until after the republican legisla-
ture has stultiied itself and perhaps jeop|
ardized the success of our next national
ticket by electing this old politician SEN
ator, then he can show his hand for six
years by Furnishing enemies and rewarding
friends Mr.. Beck's resolution recently in
the senate demonstrated the fact that our
model senator sprung up, with gun in hand,
ready for instant use in defense of subsidized
railroads instead of the gentleman from
Maine, whom he had accused.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-08-18
Caledonia County.
UanYille.

REV. JOHN MCDONALD of Burke preached
at the Methodist church last Sunday. -
Rev. Mr. Dawson of Newtonville Mass
preached at the Congregational church last
Sunday and gave temperance lecture in
the evening. - The game of ball that
was played last Saturday between the Com
bination club of this village and the two
Baggers was won by the latter The score
stood six to seven. - Fred Stocker went
to Boston last Monday with a carload of
hogs.
REPAIRS are being made to the school
buildings, including the rebuilding of the
chimney on the primary school-house.
- The band went to Greensboro Bend
Saturday evening last to assist at some kind
OF an entertainment. - A. NJ. Ward a.
Son are improving their store building with
coat of paint - The families of f.
Brush, George Hoyt, w. n. Lawson and
Leon Benjamin are camping for few days
at Greensboro. They have erected a suit
able building on the south shore of the lake
for their accommodation. ID. w.
Aiken, Jr., and his mother have been spend
ing few days at Portland, Maine, and vi
cinity They have relatives residing at
Portland: - w. o. Clement and wife,
now residing at Winooski, are visiting
friends in town. Mr. Clements health has
become somewhat impaired, and he is suffer-
ing from what appears to be a bronchial
trouble, which it is hoped will be only tenn
porary. - Albert French and family of
Boston, Mass, are visiting friends in town.
Mr.. French is native of this town and has
two brothers residing here. He is engaged
in the mercantile business on South Market
street, Boston, and deals in foreign fruits.
- George b. Wheeler is afflicted with
felon on one of his fingers. +. Brush
lost good horse on the 18th from conges-
ton of the lungs.
East Hardwick.
THE Congregational church and society
have given Rev. f. Il. Rogers call to be-
come their settled pastor at salary of
$1,000 and parsonage. 1t is expected that
the installation services will be held Sep
TENDER LIST. - Miss l.. Lumsden has sold
her building to Keir & Co. of Greensboro
Bend. 1t is to be used as tn-shop. -
j. w. Hovey is making an extensive addi-
ton to his dwelling-house, which will add
greatly to its convenience. - c. NJ. Bal
ley lost one of his oxen last week. -
Albert Gilkerson has sold his place to Mr.
Nelson of Craftsbury. Price, 500. -
William Sawyer of Greensboro has rented
rooms in Chase Wards house and will move
in next week. - John Stevens "a
brother of III. w. Stevens) of Peoria. H.. is
visiting in town, after an absence of eight
cen years. - j. III. George and Il. Hunt
have each presented the Congregational
church with hanging-lamp for the use of
CONTINUED ON EIGHTH PAGE.l
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-08-18
Letter from Camp OsgOOd."
ADIRONDACK WILDERNESS,
August -, 1886.


Mr.. Editor;-Among the many summer
resorts that dot the sea-shores and mountain
sides, or penetrate into some vast wilder
ness, like the one of which / am to speak,
none can afford more solid pleasure and
sport than stay in that which has been
rightly called the "sportsman's paradise. I"
Leaving the Queen City" Thursday morn
ing, August 9th, we made delightful trip
up the calm waters of Lake Champlain
Passing many points of interest on our way
we came upon Valcour Island, where at its
south end lies the Royal Savage, sunk at
the time of Arnold's battle with Carleton
and also noted as the place selected for
communal home based on the principles
OF social science-a landmark where our
banner is love over all " also Grab Island
at the north of Valcour, where the common
sailors and marines are buried who fell in
the battle of Plattsburgh. The bell rings
ana we are landed at Plattsburgh, where a
bountlinl dinner is awaiting us at the Fou-
quet House, owned by Paul Smith of
adirondack fame and managed by his SON
Phelps Smith. AT half-past two p. NJ. we
TOOK the cars for Ausable Station, where
stages were waiting to convey passengers to
Loon Lake, Paul Smiths, Lake Placid. and
many other places too numerous to men
ton. Allow me to say that our Journey
from this point was not taken in one Of
these jolting coaches, but with knapsacks
strapped upon our backs, we set out on a
lillly -niHt lilic tramp lHlO tne wilderness,
which was accomplished early Saturday
morning. The route leads through a coun-
try beautiful in natural attractions. White
Face, with its rocky summit looms up be-
lore MS, while on the right we pass the base
of Catamount mountain. A halt over night
and hot breakfast in the morning puts
new life into every limb and muscle, and
we are ready to finish our trip with renewed
Vigor and freshness
raul Smiths Hotel, situated on st. Regis
Lake, affords excellent accommodation for
guests, at $500 per day. Fine stables and
boats Tor sportsmen are in connection, and
tins house is not excelled by any hotel in
the mountains. Camp Osgood," conceded
by all visitors to be the finest in the st. Re-
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1886-08-18

THE Netherland steamer Waesland, which
left Antwerp on the 18th and arrived at
New York July 22d, reported that at noon
ON the second day out and just after the
Waesand had left the channel whale was
seen floating on the water directly in the
vessels course. No attempt was made to
avoid it, as the natural impression was that
1t would get out of the way of its own ac-
cord. 1t declined to move, however, being
fast asleep, most likely, and the steamers
sharp iron bows struck full and fair about
midway of its length. There was a per-
ceptible shock to the vessel and an imme-
date checking of her progress. Passengers
and deck hands ran forward to see what
was the cause of the trouble and found that
the whale, which was fully eighty feet long,
had been cut half in two and Law dead and
fast caught on the bows. 1t was necessary
to stop the ship and back off to disengage
the carcass, which when freed drfted astern.
Ships have struck sleeping whales before,
and on several occasions have suffered
damage from the collision.