davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

shut myself up in my room, and lived
only for her. How often did 1 resort to
strategy to communicate with my lovely
tormentor! I sent her letters breathing OF
love from my window. saw her tear them
to pieces, and scatter them to the winds of
heaven. 1 sent her flowers, almost as fresh
and beautiful as her lovely lips and eyes,
and next morning 1 saw my bouquets in
the trash barrel amid dead cats, cold hash
and like debris.
Judge-Poor, unfortunate young man
Complainant may your Honor say
that am unfortunate. The sympathy OF
and bleeding heart. Soon people will read
on my sad tombstone: "Here lies a poor
young man who perished Of unrequited
love. He could move police justice, but ne
could not move the cruel object of his atfec-
tions"
Judge-Come to the point, if you please.
What is your complaint?
plainant-I bribed her servants; they
took my money, but the base menials never
gave me chance to converse with her.
Disguised as letter-carrier, | sought to
converse with her, but she ordered the jan.
itor with large copious feet to kick me out
into the street, which he did. Whenever
she went out followed her as faithfully as
her own shadow.
Judge-What nuisance you must have
made of yourself.
Complainant-Truel love is never discour-
aged. Yes, followed her wherever she
went. I learned yesterday that she was
going to move away, SO there was no time
to be lost. Driven to despair, l registered a
solemn VOW, about six o'clock this morning,
that would tell her of my love before the
sun sank to rest behind the western hills
When attempted to explain my emotions
on the street, she repelled my advances
She refused to listento me. Then being in
despair, / accused her of theft and had heI
brought before your Honor.
Judge-That was the act of lunatic.
Complainant-Per it was. But your
Honor will concede that it was crowned
with success. have at last had an oppor
tunity to tell her that loved her for herself
alone. Thanks to your Honor, she has beer
obliged to listen to me. God bless your
Honor for it. Heaven will reward you fol
it, and I will not forgetit. 9.
The Judge looked at the Baroness, who
blushed, and looked down on the floor.
Eyes, your Honor" continued the com
plainant, 'you will place it on record in thi:
case that l am twenty-five years old, and
rather goodlooking; the only son of my
parents, who dote on me. Make note o.
it that 1 have an income of ten Thousand
francs year; that own beautiful vills
in the country and hotel in Paris. Please
record also that I am of noble birth, my
family coat of arms being three clover
leaves under lion rampant in an azure
field. Also state that rendered my hant
to Madame -. Just put it down."
His Honor laughed. The Baroness, wht
was a wealthy widow, smiled and blushed
They will he married next Sunday.-Fron
the French, in Texas ,Gttings.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

A CoNGREssMAN's WIND.-Half doz-
en- men in saloon in Nipandtuck, the 9th
er night, were trying to blow out candle
ten feet distant, but all failed. Presently a
genteelly dressed gentleman entered the
room and offered to bet fifty dollars that he
could extinguish the candle twelve feet
distant. The bet was promptly taken, the
genteely dressed man blew out the candle at
the first effort, pocketed the money, took a
drink, and then left the barroom loafers
looking at each other in blank astonishment'
"Who in the dickens is this 'ere feller,
anyhow" queried the "bum" who had
lost the bet.
"Don't you know him 2" said the bar
keeper. "Why, that teller is an Indiana
Congressman and goes around to the county
fairs and wins money by blowing the bot.
toms out of lung-testers! It's no use to bet
against his wind, boys!"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

A INDUSTRIOUS TIME.-"You do not look
WE'LL" said the governor of Arkansaw, ad.
dressing an old fellow who had just arrived
from the northwestern part of the State.
''No, am bad off. I never had such q
spell o. sickness sense the dayI was bornd."
malaria ?"
"No, governor, not malaria. 1 don't
mind malaria. Why malaria is fun for me,
but the caper that struck me about three
months ago came nigh blowin' out my tai
Ter dip. Eff it hadn't been for the fact that
I am so humpshouldered 1 would have
been gone"
"What difference did that make?"
swell, you see, was tuck down with
miningitis. Its game is to pull mans
head back. With me it was impossible.
You never seed such struggle in your life:
Sometimes after long pull the Internal
thing would spit on its hand an go at 1t
agin, and would brace myself an grin.
Oh, we had q monstrous time" e."-Arkansd'0
Traveller,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

WHERE OUR COURTS HAVE No JURIs-
DIcTIoN.-She had quarreled with him, and
he left her and married somebody else after
the engagement had been pending some
time. He was wealthy, and she was mad
and vindictive. She consulted lawyer.
"Did you tell him to get out?' asked the
lawyer.
"No; only told him never wanted to
see him again"
"Did you say that the engagement was
at an end?"
"No; ! only said that I would not mar
ry him." -,
Hum. Did he ever promise you should
he his wife ?"
A million times. He plighted his faith
to me three times week for year. He
stole my young affections. tell you, am
his wife in the sight of heaven"
"Humph, Pm afraid, Miss the courts
have no jurisdiction in that case. ."-San
Francisco Chronicle.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

BADLY LEFT-HANDED.-Two friends
were at musical concert. One of them
remarked:
"The violinist see is left handed"
eyes, I see, but not very badly, should
think"
"Badly? Why, you don't mean to say
that there are degrees in left handedness?"
'Of course do"
II didn't know that"
''It's a fact, nevertheless. This fiddler
seems to get along very we'll, at least, he
acts all right. Tell you what's fact. l.
knew man once who was so badly left
handed that he couldn't eat with his right
hand"
"What?"
"It's fact. He used his left hand for
everything. Why, he couldn't sleep with
his right hand"
"You are foolish"
'No, Pm stating a fact"
"Couldn't eat nor sleep with his right
hand ?'
"That's what I said"
"Why?"
"Didn't have right hand"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

John B. Cough, the world renowned tenn
perance lecturer, died on the 18th ultlmo, at
the residence of DR.. Burns, in Philadelphia,
to which he was taken on Monday night pre-
vious, when he was Frustrated by stroke of
apopleXy while delivering a lecture in that
city. He wasa native of England, and came
to this country in 1929, having so cents in
his pocket when he landed. He learned
the book binders trade, got into bad COM
pany, and for eight years. was exceedingly
dissipated, becoming confirmed sot. In
October, 1912, he was induced to attend a
temperance meeting. Here he took the
pledge of abstinence and kept it for five
months, when he violated it. His friends
induced him to try again, and he soon be-
gan to publicly advocate the principle. His
reputation as an orator spread through the
United States and Canada and reached Eng
land. In 1858 the London Temperance
League invited him to visit Great Britain.
The visit, intended to last only six weeks,
was protracted to two years, during which
time he advocated the cause of Temperance
throughout the island. He then resumed
his labors in America. In 1857 he again
visited England, and lectured with still
greater success than on his former visit and
in 1860 returned to America. He accumu-
lated large income, and continued to lee
ture regularly until 1873, when he announced
that he was about to leave the field as a
public lecturer; but continued to appear
at intervals. Once while on lecture tour
he violated his pledge, but this he always
claimed was the result of conspiracy to
lead him astray. He was siXty-nine years
old and had of late years lived at Worces-
ter, Massachusetts, where he was buried.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

PRETTY ROUGH ON NEW JERsEY.-Cal-
ling at wayside slab-house in the hill re-
gion of Arkansas, the sun-bonneted mis-.
tress very cheerfully granted a travellers
on behalf of his horse met with the reply
"Jes' 20 and see my old man; he's out
thar in the bahn."
The traveller soon returned with the re-
port that no such person was to be found.
'tNo one was there but an old nigger milk
ing cow"
"Weli, stranger, that's my husband"
The stranger, in his amazement, burst out
with:
"That nigger your husband? 1t seems to
me that a likely woman like you might
have done better than that J"
"Wall, I Dunno" said the woman, look
ing up rehectively from the frying bacon !;
II dunno, my kin kind O. think I've done
pretty WE'LL, My sister married New
Jersey man."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
Ant,1uruns department.

COOKED FOR THE PATIENT.-Old DR..
Hewston was distinguished for philanthro-
py. The doctor carried his diploma in his
hat, and his conscience in his hand. On
one occasion the doctor had case of malig-
nant typhoid fever. He prescribed rest and
nourishment for his patient.
"Give DAN plenty of chicken. He must
have more nourishment."
''Shall I kill chicken?"
"Yes, you'd better kill young rooster !;
broil it we'll and add plenty of butter. Pa.
tients with typhoid fever like plenty of
gravy"
Dams wife killed, dressed and cooked a
fine chicken.
s'That's about right" said the doctor, who
was experimenting the job, as he envious-
ly eyed the chicken.
"Dan, how are you feelingw
"First rate, doctor, first rate"
"Let me feel your pulse?'
Dan extended his hand and arm.
"You are more feverish than usual. l
just ordered your wife to broil fine chick
en-, but you can't eat it; you are too fever
ish."
sWhat shall we do, doctor ?" anxious
ly inquired the wife.
"I see no way out of the difficulty but to
eat the chicken ourselves. once suffered
from typhoid fever myself, madam"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

How CHEWING AFFECTS THE NERVES.
High medical authority is responsible for
the statement that in temperate and cold
countries tobacco creates thirst, and thereby
encourages drinking habits; in tropical
climes it has no such effect on the smoker,
and the taste for alcohol rarely follows its
use in those latitudes. Very. eminent oo-
servers have, indeed, attributed the proverb-
ial sobriety of eastean peoples to the use OF
tobacco. There are important qualifications
having reference to the smoker himself and
his surroundings, and modifying the effects
of his indulgence in such manner as ire
sistibly suggest the old proverb: Zone
mans food is another mans poison"
But, further, the effects vary according to
the method of consumption and here we
touch question of great interest, bearing
upon several stimulant narcotics, and that
is the question of chewing. All solid foods
undergo this process in the mouth, and of
our chief products, tobacco, coca, opium
and betel are also cheWed. The act ofchew-
ing powerfully affects the nerves of the
mouth, being branches of the fifth pair
of nerves, and in close connection with the
brain. While it has long been understood
that certain nerves in the mouth excite,
when stimulated by food, the pleasureable
sensations of taste, it is more recent dis-
covery that the chewing of solids produces
through the fifth nerve certain stlmulant
impressions upon the nervous centres. one
of the consequent efforts is qulckened CIR
culation in the brain. What light this
throws upon the habit of chewing the world
over!
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
The Murkrille Guqnirer.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:

For six months, 30
For three months, ........ 20
Two copies one year, W
Ten copies one year....". NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS." ~ W
And an extra copy for club of ten.
How to Order the Enquirer.-Write the
name of the subscriber very plainly, give post
office, county and State, in full, and send the
amount of the subscription by draft or post
office money order, or enclose the money in a
registered letter.
POstage.-Thc ENQUIRER is delivered free
of postage to all subscribers residing in York
county, who receive the paper at post-oftices
within the county; and to all other subscribers
the postage is paid by the publisher. Our sub
scribers, no matter where they receive the paper,
are not liable for postage it being prepaid at
the post-offce here, without additional charge to
the subscriber.
Watch the Figures.-The date on the sad
dress label" shows the time to which the SUBJ
scription is paid. If subscribers do not wish
their papers discontinued, the date must be kept
in advance.
Cash.-It must be distinctly understood that
our terms for subscriptions, advertising and job
work are cash in advance.
ADVERTISING RATES.
ONE DOLLAR per square for the first inser-
ton, and FIFTY CENTS per square, for each
subsequent insertion. A square consists of the
space occupied by seven lines of this size type.
mS- Contracts will be made at reduced rates for
advertising space to be used for three, six, or
twelve months. All contract advertisements
will be confined to the regular business for which
the space is engaged.
Mg- Rejected manuscripts will not be returned
to the writer's. Persons who send manuscript to
this office for publication and desire copy the
same, should make duplicate.
Ga- Tributes of Respect and Obituary notices
charged for at the rate of ten cents line. Usu-
ally there are about seven words in a llne
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

WANTED AN EMBLEM.-Uncle Abraham,
over on Chatham street, was speaking to
ting an emblem over the door of his store.
'sI'd put beehive" suggested the man."
"Vot does pee-hife shtand for?''
"For industry"
"Oh, dot vhas all nonsense. Dot doan't
show people dot sell $l4 suit for $S."
''I know, but the bee is worker"
"Yes, but dot doan't do. Eferyboty vhas
worker. Industry vhas all right, but if
somebody CJmes back NIT a pair of pants
dot shrink oop eighteen inches, dot pee
hife doan' explain dot dis vhas singular
climate on pants"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

His OWN Stitches -ChiefJustice Mans
field, said to friend, who, having been ap-
pointed Governor of West India island,
complained that he would have to sit as
a Judge. "Decide according to your COM
mon-sense, but don't give your reasons,
for I have noticed that your judgment
is generally right. but your reasons are
usually wrong" Mr.. Webster once IN con-
versation went further than Lord Mansfield.
He insisted that witness might give valu-
liable testimony, and yet be unable to sup
port it by good reason.
In support of his assertion, he told this
anecdote.
In q case of great importance, tailor
whose evidence would decide the verdict,
affirmed that he had made the coat which
had been produced in court for the prisoner.
The prisoners counsel tried to create a doubt
as to the identity of the coat, and asked the
tailor how he knew it was the coat.
"Why, 1 know it my by Stitches OF
course"
care your stitches longer than those Of
other tailors?"
"Oh, no."
Are they shorter?"
"No, not a bit shorter"
"Any thing peculiar about them:'
81 don't believe there is"
elbow dare you, then, swear that they are
yours?"
The witness was silent for moment-the
question seemed to have perpleXed him.
and then, throwing up his hands, heck
Claimed
"Mercy on us! AS if I didn't know my
own stitches!"
The jury believed him and his testimony
convicted the prisoner
Mr.. Webster insisted that the jury were
right, and said "The fact u.s. we continually
build our judgment upon details too fine
for distinct cognizance. And these nice
shades are trustworthy, though we can give
no good account of Them"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
REPAIRING,

Of all kinds, promptly done on short notice.
Steam Engines, and agricultural machinery of
any kind overhauled and repaired Besides, any
class of work that may be wanted in his shop, he
will attend any call for repairing stationary en-
gines, doing the work on the premises, thus OBJ
Waiting the necessity of moving the engine.
Prices reasonable. Terms, cash on completion
of the work. EDWARD THOMAS.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

nsr "Who is that old duffer?" asked a
new groceryman of the mi}kman, as we'll
dressed man went by.
"Why, he is one of our most trusted citi-
zens," was the eloquent reply.
"How do you make that out?" He has
been owing me bill ever since l came
here"
That's just how we made it out" laugh
ed the milkman, gleefully, and the grocery
man scratched his head till he caught on
Merchant Traveller.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
APPLICATION FOR DISCHARGE.

N7OTICE is hereby given that the undersigned,
y Executor of the estate of JOHN YOUNG,
deceased, has made final settlement a,t, with WITH
the Judge of Probate for York county, ,n!y and
on the 5th day of April, 1885, at II O'Clock, NJ,
Will make application for final discharge
from liability as Executor of the said estate.
r. f. PORTER, Executor.
March ol
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

1 would inform the public that am yet max
ing PHOTOGRAPHS in all the various styles.
Also Ferrotypes and other cheaper styles OF
pictures. Pictures by the Photographic process
enlarged, and all work done in the best style OF
the art at reasonable prices. Gallery on West
Liberty street, near the Jail. .,,,,,on,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

CALM NEUTRALITY.-"How does your
father seem to regard my coming here ?"
anxiously asked Adolphus of little Bobby,
while Miss Maud was upstairs getting ready
to present herself.
II guess he don't care nothing about it,"
replied Bobby, carelessly.
$50 he has no objections, eh? But what
did he say, my little man?"
"He said if Maud was mind to make a
fool of herself, why let her."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

pa- Popular Concerts in Chicago: Prof.
WienerachnitzeH vas going to gif me a
penefit concert. Could ! sold you few
tickets? Won dollar EACH" Eictim-"Yes;
you may give me ten tickets" Prof. W..
''Vell, tell you vot do. You glf me me
dollars unit won't gift me no concert Den
We both make money aint it?"-sdn Fran
cisco Chronicle.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
NOTICE.

4 LLpersons indebted to the estate of JOSEPH
n ROSE, deceased, will please make payment,
Without delay, to HART & HART, Attorneys;
and those holding claims will present them, duly
authenticated, within the time fixed by law, to
WM. f. ROSE, Administrator,
Columbia S. C.
February II Ut
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
EXECUTORS NOTICE.

ALL persons having demands against the es-
n of HUGH A. GALLOWAY, deceased, are
hereby notified to present the same "lIhll Iae
time prescribed by law, duly attested. Persons
indebted to the said estate are required to make
Immediate payment to the undersigned.
r. NJ. McGILL, Executor.
,,,.,, D. st
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

a% An experiment in tea culture has been
made at Auburn, Placer county, CAL, where
a plantation was set out some years ago.
There are about fifty tea-plants which have
for several years been producing tea that is
pronounced of good quality. Further ex.
periments will be made with tea-seed, and
the result will be watched with interest.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

pI Rabbits damage Australia to the ex-
tent of S100O0,00O per year. Wolves could
hardly do worse.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11

VTNHE undersigned would respectfully inform
the public that he now has in operation, on
his lot on Kings Mountain Street, a FOUNDRY
AND MACHINE SHOP, in which he is prepared
to do all manner of work in light iron and brass
castings, and general machine work.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
C. & L. NARROW GAUGE RAILROAD.
e So 80 .z%zzzzss5El zf%Ezas5fE7l
4WW ~ 81 32IIl4 HR-N

CCHEDULE of Mail and Passenger Trains
= from Lenoir, n. c., to Chester, S. G., taking
effect at II o'clock, Noon, Sunday, February
7th, 1856.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11


FOURTH CLASS POSTAGE RATEs.-Sena,
tor Wilson, chairman of postoffice affairs in
the Senate, should carefully study the bene-
fcent postal systems of the less progressive
nations of the world, before he presses his
bill to double postal rates on fourth class
matter. The avcwed reason for this in
crease is the old, old story that was heard
when the first great battle was made by the
people to reduce old-time postage from ST
i2}, 1872, 25, 3lf and 37l cents, according to
distance. 'The Postoffice Department does
not .pay," was the protest when postage
was reduced from 37l to 10 cents, then to
cents, then to cents and now to 2 cents
and the same fogy cry comes up to double
! the rate of fourth class matter and make 1t
the same as letter postage.
1t will startle most people to learn that
even our present rates of lG cents per pound
on fourth class postal matter is largely in
excess of the rates for the same matter in
all the foreign countries. In England it is
little more than one-third as much as here ;
in Germany it is less than one-half; in Can
ada it is Just one-fourth; in France it is
greatly below our rates, and all through
Europe fourth class matter is carried to and
from all countries at an average OF nearly
one-half less than our present charges. is
it not sufficiently discredi table for the most
intelligent and progressive people OF the
earth to he behind other nations in postal
facilities without attempting to take anoth-
er step backwards by increasing the already
excessive cost of fourth class NATTER,
The Postoffice Department doesn't pay,
but neither do the army nor the navy pay,
and cheap postage is quite as important to
the country as Gene erals and Admirals.
And fourth class postal matter is the one
feature of the present postal system that is
the most needed by the masses of the peo-
pie. 1t is yet in its infancy, but is growing
rapidly and will soon reach immense pro-
portions if cultivated by the government.
It is the channel of exchange for the indus
trial and active business elements OF the
country, and they are the elements which
create our wealth. So far from increasing
the cost and limiting the volume of fourth
class postal matter, the rate should be di-
minished at least to the standard OF other
Governments. and facilities increased for
Such transmission.-Philadelhia Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1886-03-11
JOB PRINTING.

nWING to our superior facilities with the best
" machine presses, an abundance Of type and
tirst-class appointments throughout our Office,
we are prepared to execute all manner of JOB
PRINTING in superior style, and at prices that
will compare with New York or Philadelphia
charges for the same quality of work and mate
rials. We have recently made reduction IN
prices for the following classes ofWork, to when
we invite the attention of business men:
BILL HEADS.
For 500 For 1000
Half-sheet Bill Heads, ,......""..S3.5O 5000
Fourth-sheet Bill Heads .......". 2.25 $50
Sixth-sheet Bill Heads, s,.......... 200 r30O
Monthly statements at same price of sixth-sheet
dill heads. We will fill an order for bill heads,
giving any desired number ofeither size of sheet
at proportionate prices.
LETTER HEADS.
For 500 For 1000
Commercial Note,."...."""..S2.15 1925
Packet Note, 20 3.5O
Letter (large SlZe) 3.OU 3.OO
For the above work we use superior quality
of paper and guarantee entire satisfaction in ev-
cry instance.
we also give special attention to the printing
of Briefs Arguments and Points and Authori-
ties, which we furnish strictly according to the
requirements of the Justices of the Supreme
Court, and in proof reading exercise the utmost
care to ensure accuracy.
We are prepared to furnish all other kinds of
printing, from a visiting card to large volume,
and will be pleased to furnish estimates for any
style of work desired. Address,
l.. NJ. GRIST, Yorkville, S. c,