Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1886-08-05
9ail9 - ae1e
ABOUT CHEERFUL MEN.
YOUR HAeITUALlY CHEERFUL lNDl-
vIDUAL is PROBABLY A FRAUD.

NJ. Quad Shows Up the Other Side of 9
Familiar Picture-A Man May Smile
and BE a Villain StilI-Oaght To BE
Kicked for His Meanness.
If cheerful men were selling for 10 cents
apiece, and had 81 900 to throw away,
wouldn't buy one of them l used to have
a positive reverence for q smiling, grin
ming, bland voiced man Many time I've
met Smith or Green or White on my way
down town, and it would jump my soul q
foot high to hear him call OUT
We'll, my boy, beautiful morning, eh.
Isn't everything just loveiys Why, 4 seem
to be floating in mid air! Why, sir,
wouldn't trade this earth for all the heavens
ever preached about 10y the ministers Have
cigar! No. Then have drink. No.
Dear me! what can do to brighten you up
and make you feel like an angel ON roller
skatess"
And I'd stand off and look at him and
wonder if the land beyond the skies did
really contain happier soul All the old
hypocrite. got to know in after years that
his children were afraid of him, his wife
trembled as he he entered the door, and that
1T was his daily habit to growl out as be left
the door:
Wood. l bou hit 81 worth last week. If
that's gone Well go without until Saturday.
You are the most extravagant woman in
Detroit. l believe you burn it up to spite
me- Soap. Didn't get bar last Satur-
day! Ii You let the children play horse
with the soap You must take the conse-
quences. TO down on the ferry. I'd like
to see myself Juggling three or four young
uns and limping wife around town"
Your habitualy cheerful man is an old
fraud and a liar. He is well dressed, while
his children are the rag -bags of the neigh
borhood. tie has dollar tor cigars when
his wife wears a bonnet six years old He
passes for whole-souled fellow with the
public, but is a lauit-iinder ut home. You'll
see him taking the cool breezes on the river,
while his family are weltering in a stutiy
house on some back street
PLEASANT MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE
want to see man grin when there's
anything to grin at, but when Green gets
up in the morning and declares he hasn't
had a meal lit to eat for the last three
months anu that he can t see why his wife's
always grooming around and his children al
ways whining, he has no business to stop
the first man he meets, with smile clear
back to his ears, and shout out:
why, old fel, how solemn you look!
Brace up man-iife is worth the living ten
times overD
used to reverence Green. He lad
grip of the hand like carpenters vise-he
had a voice as bland as June--he'd make q
consumptive Lelieve that nothing more than
= sore heel was the matter. l used to lie in
ambush for him just to hear his hearty
voice and his serene countenance, and
I'd 60 about my day 8 work wondering what
sort of a guardian angel he had l found
out one day when a policeman had to 60 in
and stop him from beating his wife
When you find man who can grin over
the servant girls jumping out at an hours
notice. with wife fiat in bed and the chill
dren having a scarlet fever look around the
eyes, don you go off on fishing trip with
him. When a man can soar among the
angels with bill collectors ringing his door
belfast weeks grocery bill unpaid-the
children wanting shoes the rent running
behind and his wife coughing all night long,
he's an Internal old fraud and ought to be
kicked. When a chip who has frozen the
children, iawed the cook and blasted his
wife as a sort of morning tonic before leav-
ing the house meets you about block
from the gate and is troubled because you
haven't got your angels harp ON your
shoulder, keep your hand ON any stray
half dollar you happen to have about you
He's mean enough to steal chicken broth
from a boy with a broken back--M Quad
in Detroit Free Press