Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1886-05-18
GIFT OF SPEECH.
An Accomplishment Which. IfNot Natural.
NAV he Cultivated.

An Accomplishment Which. IfNot Natural.
May De Cultivated.
Probably, my son, you never cOnsid-
cred how important a thing it is in life
to use language with felicity and copi-
ously. 1 purpose showing you, by a
couple Of examples. how appctizingly
dish of fact may be garnished by the
flowers of speech.
Here is a bald, uninteresting matter
Of fact statement:
"As came down town this morning.
saw man run down by herdic.
He was not hurt, but his clothing was
badly soiled."
Now there is nothing attractive in
this statement. 1t is juiceles5, spirit
less, inartistic. See how the same
materials can be made intensely inter
csting:
"By blowpipe! / witnessed con-
demnationed narrow escape this morn
ing. Great Zeus! but l thought the
incarnadined fool was booked for Hades,
for sure! He was just ahead OF me,
dye see. and the man, by stovc-lifter!
must have been blind or asleep. An
unsanctiiied herdic came careering
down the street, by pens and scissors!
and just as the anathema got halfway
over the crossing. by pianaforte! the
herdic, by curtain fixtures! came on to
him, by elm tree! pell nell, and, in an
instant, by tobacco! he was down on
his marrow-bones, by llar-buttons!
and the horse almost on top of him, by
check-rein! The fellow wasn't hurt,
but, by Boston Common! he got con-
demned dusting, by sealing-wax! and
he looked. by pocket-knife! as though,
by cuspidore! as though, by garden
sass! he had been wallowingin horse
pond, by locomotive and train of cars!
all his natural life, by primrose and
daisiesr'
There, that is something like. You
have the same story, but embellshed
and beautifed into real work Of art.
A few oaths interspersed into the COM
monest narrative will enliven it won
drously. There is much virtue in an
oath.
Again: You are called upon to make
a speech. You have nothing to say;
therefore you remark to this effect;
"Mr. Chairman-I am no public
speaker; and II were, l have nothing
to say. Therefore l beg to be excused
from attempting TO make speech.
Thanking you for calling upon me. |
will, with your permission. now resume
my seat. e..
That is what you would say; but an
orator would express the same idea in
language bciitting and eloquent. For
instance:
"Mr. Chairman-Utterly and irrevo-
cably unaccustomed and unused as |
am to mount and ascend the raised and
elevated rostrum and to dispense and
give forth thence glowing, glittering
and resplendent streams Of speech,
rounded and rotund periods of elo-
quence and ornamental and ornate ora
tory, am especially and particularly
unfortunate and unhappy at this time
and moment in not having any thing to
talk about to speak Of or even to men
ton. Hence and therefore, Mr.. Chair
man, beg and supplicate and pray to
be excused and pardoned and forgiven
il, Mr.. Chairman, Ipeither attempt no
essay. nor yet endeavor, to speak ol
talk upon this occasion or at this time
or in this presence; but that may b'
permitted and allowed, both at thi'
time and upon this occasion, to be ex
, cused and exempted from making
, manufacturing or constructing any re
marks of any kind whatsoever, or fror
uttering, delivering or giving voice Il
any thoughts, cogitations or reflections
And, Mr.. Chairman, returning and ex
wishes to you, Mr.. Chairman, for callinI
, upon and requesting me to address thi
honored and honorable assemblage o
honored and honorable gentlemen,
!. will now and at this time, with you
kind and graceful permission, your il
diligence and your well-known an
: universally recognized courtesy, re
sume and retake the seat from which
. ought never to have arisen, and whic
| ought never to have relinquished o
0 left Again thanking you. Mr.. Chail
: man, for the honor you have bestowe
h upon and vouchsafed to one who wa
, never fitted to flourish in the luxurian
, fields Of oratory, once more sink an
1 descend into the obscurity and insie
: ni6oance from which / ought never
T have emerged or ventured forth"
: This is oratory; this Is clog quenc'
c Copy this style of speaking, my sol
:. and you will oon acquire name an
6 fame as apublic speaker. IA
a And to you, my daughter. l have
d word to say. lnste ad OF simply sa.
: ing:
~ saw Sue to-day. but she didn
a have anything particular to say"
4 diffusive particularly 80 uncommon