Savannah morning news., 1886-06-10
Fashions Freaks, as Shown in
Women's Dresses.
BY ALLAN FoRMAN.


BY ALLAN FoRMAN.
TCopyrtghted, 1885,
There is no more fruitful subject for the
cogitations of philosophical old bachelor
than the dresses of women as they are
worn by the haut monde, and the changes
they have undergone during the past
twenty years. But man must be
bachelor to discuss the matter philosophi-
cally; the moment he has a pecuniary
interest in the matter that mo-
ment g throws his philosophy
to the winds, and art and beauty
become subservient to dollars and cents.
Women are strange creatures, and their
motives should not be tCO closely scanned
by the cOarser masculine mind. Men
often t1atter themselves that women dress
Tor their appreciation, to force their adj
miratiOn. But this only shows mans
conceit and ignorance. AS matter OF
fact women have profound contempt for
mans opinions on the subject Of dress,
and so far as | can judge the dear Great
ures array themselves for the purpose of
attracting the admiration or exciting the
envy of other women. The handsome
toilets seen at matinees and at lunch
parties are a proof Of this. The fact is
that unless a man has earnestly studied
the matter he knows very little about it,
and after he has studied it becomes
greater mystery than before.
just once during the past twenty years
have the dresses of women been fair to
look upon, and then they were inconvenl-
ent and required a good figure to wear
them. Now it is melancholy fact that
but few women have good figures. They
appear to have, but the flowing robes
II do nd
are sundry aids to a good figure which
can be taken off and put on at pleasure,
and which, unattached, would puzzle the
most astute male person to discover the
use OF.
Do you remember the crinoline which
made such immense hips that with the
puffed out skirts and long tight waists
woman looked like peg top stuck into
cushion1 On, that crinolinel Those
were halcyOn days for shoplifters. A
woman could carry off house and lot
under those immense skirts and never be
detected. There actually was a woman
arrested for stealing potted plants from
Greenwood cemetery, who, when she was
searched, was found to have over 500
worth of flowers concealed in ingeniously
arranged pockets in her voluminous
skirts. In those days a woman took up
more room in an omnibus or on the side
walk than half dozen men, but the far
spreading, int1eXible hoops served to
the reason, L fancy, that the crinoline was
discarded and another figure became the
mode.
The Grecian bend was not so bad after
all. 1t was a tri1e ridiculous, to be sure,
and occasionally the big hustle would
fetch loose from its moorings and would
Slew around to leeWard, or would get un-
hitched in some way, and would wobble
in an alarming fashion that led the hor-
rified observer to fear that the tair dame
was about to lose that portion of her
anatomy. But it was more graceful than
that which preceded it, because it follow
ed the lines of the figure more
closely. The name was a vile misnomer.
There was nothing Grecian about it. The
Grecian idea OF female beauty is seen in
the Venus de Milo, in the figures on the
Elgin marbles. There are no such distOr-
tions there. The straight robe loosely
confined at the waist by a girdle allows
free play to The limbs and compels an
erect, easy carriage. There is no corset
to crump the lungs and jam all the in
terror mechanism out OF shape; no heavy
skirts dependent from the waist and
crowding all the digestive organs into an
inert mass.
Some year or two ago l attended
course of medical lectures for the purpose
of studying anatomy. l had been at per-
haps a dozen lectures when the human
subject had been dissected and discussed,
but it so happened that in every case the
subjects had been men--sailors, brawny,
muscular 'longshoremen, in the prime Of
vigorous manhood, who had met their
death through accidents or murder. One
night there was the body OF woman on
the table, and as the lecture laid open the
cavity of the abdomen with a few deft
strokes OF the knife he remarked:
"There, gentlemen, is the result OF tight
lacing." l will never forget it. The girl
must have had in life what one would call
a trim figure, buteVery organ was pushed
out of place, was cramped, distorted and
deformed. The liver, the heart, the stom-
ach, the lungs were crowded by one an
other and humpered in their duties. 1t
produced 80 strong an impression upon
me that / have never seen a small, round
waist since that do not think, "1es,
pretty waist, but where is your liverP
But the Grecian bend had it's daY, and
passed into oblivion among the things
which were to keep company with the
crinoline, and that gown commonly
known as the "pullback0 followed. In
theory this was pretty. The trouble was
that it could only be worn to advantage
by rather tall women who had moderately
good figures. But the pleasure TO be mad
from gazing upon one such vision OF love-
illness abundantly repaid us for the
dozens OF short, fat figures, which resem-
bled nothing so much as badly stuffed
sausages, or the scrawny women, who
looked like sticks OF macaroni. The eel
SKIN dress had it's disadvantages 10 be
sure; a woman thus clad could rarely sit
down and could never run.
Then do YOU remember where the pOck-
cts we're situatedf do. The subject Of
women's pockets is always an uniathOm-
able mystery 10 the average man. Some
times they are in front and
sometimes in the side, but In the
eelskin they were dlIectly behind.
| remember going 10 the theatre
one evening with n damsel thus attired.
suddenly she commenced a series OF the
most extraordinary gyrations. i became
alarmed, for thought she was preparing
10 turn a handspring through the window
on the CAB. "What horrible thing 10 20
10 the theatre with lunaticV ! thought
As she continued her cOntOrtlone. sud
denly she exclaimed;
81 have 81" and drew from some
repository In the rear OF her
gown a tiny square Of fine linen about the
Size ola postage stamp and proceeded 10
perform that delicate little snil which
,vomeu make answer for blowing their
noses. NotwIthstanding the bad Ar
rapeamsnt OF pockets, the eelskin in re-
noae ygas about a. satisfactory "a garment
a. has been adopted by lovely woman in
assua lima.