News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1886-05-06
Tho BoodIe-Hard at WOrlI-A Primary
Lesson-Kentmcky ExpIains-The Doc
tors Story-Dots and Dnshes, Etc., Etc.
HIS NOTES.

as soon take the notes OF req neadeu
woodpeckers in Illinois p'-L0uis0itle
Journal.
NOTHING TO FEAR.
"Have you spoken to father, George,
dear?" she asked, and the voice which
came from under the lapel of his coat
fairly trembled with happiness. 'Have
you begged his consent to"
mo, didn't thick it was necessary"
George replied, "because he has always
been so friendly and cordial with me.
Only yesterday he slapped me on the
back and gave me good cigar and told
me how we'll was looking, and that l
must come up to the house as often as I
could, and that you would always be
glad to see me, and we could have the
parlor to ourselves every night if we
wanted it, and"
'Dear father!" interrupted the voice,
''perhaps had better break the news
to him myself. ~. Y. San.
THE DOCTOR.
DR.. Allen, of Chicago, was just be-
ginning his practice when one winter
day, seated in car muffled to the ears,
he overheard this conversation between
two passengers who were sitting where
they could not see his face:
''Say, George" said one, "what kind
of doctor is this young Allen?"
"All l know about him is that he
snatched my aunt from the grave last
summer; that is, l shall always think
he did"
"Did he, indeed?" said the other
"well, he must be pretty good doctor,
then. What was the matter with your
auntg"
''Oh, she was dead and buried, you
know. Chicago Ne1cS.
THE KENTUCKIAN EXPLAINS.
'Gn Philadelphia there are %, 900
more women than men. In Massachu-
setts there are G0,000 ma jority, and a
recent estimate shows that in Europe
the women exceed the males by more
than four and a half millions. Why is
philosopher.
THE men are killed off by wars anc
accidents, 1 suppose" he replied.
.'Why is it, them was asked, ''tha
Kentucky, which has as many men killed
as any State, has a fair preponderanct
of males?"
ooh, that is easily explained" he re.
piled. "Kentucky women are SO beau
tiful and charming that the men from
other States come and carry them away
as soon as they are grown"
THEY SAY.
"They say Clawence Clawkson il
learning to play the mandolin"
"What the deuce is a mandolin?"
ga sawt of a guitaw, don't chew
know"
CLAW, is it now9 Why, bless me
soul, deah boy, I've always, haw, had al
ideaw, don't chew know, that q guitaw
was some blawsted disease, like the ma
lawia.'
"Oh, deah, no! it's veal musica
instrument you play, with Swings ano
wibbon to hold it wound youah neck
It's veal sweet, assuah you. You awt
to heah it, you weally awt."-Io"r
Topics.
HIS UNCLE.
''I think young Mr.. FitzpercY is {
very kind hearted man." remarked Mrs
Fangle.
'Indeed!" replied her husband.
"Yes, he is so kind to his uncle"
"Ah! What has he done to him?"
"Why, one cold day last month
saw him on the street with no overcoat
on, and 1 told him he ought not tc
come out so unprotected, and he said h'
had let his uncle have his coat. ] sup
pose his uncle was too poor to buy one
and when | see young man SO thought
full about his relations l know he il
kind hearted. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
SMART.
A little four-year old girl, residen
of Minnesota's capital city, is not noteC
for her beauty, though possessed of {
very sweet disposition and a remarkabl,
bright mind. She was recently present
ed to minister who CHANGED to be Wis
iting at her home. He took her little
face between his two hands and looked
down at her in the most scrutinizlne
manner. She evidently anticipated tha
her face would not bear the close inspec
ton, as, turning her eyes in the direc
tion of his face, she lisped out:
81 amt petty, Mither Brown, but It'll
mighty mart. 81. I@ut ut0Oe'
AN UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE.
tNo," said bankrupt merchant, sad
ly, "advertIsing doesn't pay. l tried i
just before 1 failed, so I know what In
talking about"
"What newspapers did you advertise
in2"
"Not any newspaper. I pasted 50C
dodgers on barn just out of town, anC
| I'm a sinner if wind storm that same
night didn't scatter that barn over
ten acre COW pasture. Don't talk to me
about advertising"
Sunday school teacher-Now, chill
drcn. tell me, please, what Samson wa
noted for?
hildren-Strength
Teacher-And Moscs2
Children-Mcekness.
Teacher-And Solomon2
Children-Wisdom.
Teacher-And Job9
Little May-I know; boils.
A PRIMARY LESSON.
Experienced Tramp ito noVlce)-
Now, Bill, time s money in this busines
same any other.
| Novice-Yes2
Experienced Tramp-An' so when yo'
strikes man on the street, an he stop
an says "sir, an Is very polite, don
try to work him fur nuthin', cos you'll
not get 1t. Drap him to oncet.
SLEEPY.
Caller-The little one is sleepy, ism
she? Where should little girls go whel
they are sleepy. Edith?
Edith (crosslyj--I don't know-Ps
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