Charlotte messenger. [volume] (Charlotte, Mecklenburg Co., N.C.) 1882-18??, 1886-07-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A rural guide says: Cuttings root
easily now" So do pigs. 7M-Bits.
sThat won't go down with me" said
the skeptical man as he looked at pill.
Carl Pretsel.
DIR. Mary Walker is a living iliustra-
ton of the well-known fact that clothes
do not make the man.-f'uct.
'sThe circus is one of the oldest diver
sions known to man, says an exchange.
So is a circus joke. e.--BurliBJton Free
Press.
A cheese factory is to be started at
Caracas. South America. Tie natives
will then live, no doubt, on Caracas and
cheese. Piitsbury Chronicle.
For luck he carries off the palm,
Than Lucifer he's prouder.
Who gets the solitary clam
That's served up in the chowder.
-Boston Courier
Sam Jones, in speaking of converting
hard hearted newspaper men, says he
couldn't touch Chicago reporter with a
ten-foot pole. He ought to have tried q
10-cent cigar. - Washington Critic.
Many homely girl who doesn't believe
at all that OSCILLATION will cure freckles ia
ready to try the experiment, nevertheless,
Just to convince a superstitious young
man that there is nothing in it.-Som =
viLle Journal.
The poet who asked, ooh where can
rest be foundl' had never visited the
store of merchant who never advertises-
If he could once see one of this mer-
chants clerks he would not ask such u
Tr,.5a
A young man in Gainesville, Fla, sent
.seventy-five cents to a fellow in New
York York who advertised ''How to
make money fast" He received from
the New Yorker the valuable informs-
ton; Take a paper bill and make it
fast to something with paste"
"What is that Bicycle Man doing,
father. Seel he has Jumped Forward
from his Wheel and is putting his Face
to the Earth. Is he Kissing it?" mo.
my son; the Man has his Ear to the
Earth. He is Listening. He thought
he heard .Someting Drop. "-BurlingtOn
Free Press.
It is singular how one can be deceived
in things. A scientist has discovered that
flash of lightning is not instantaneous,
but has a duration of from 1000 II
10000 of a second" This is differ
ence. of course, but it is hardly enougl
to give a man time to dodge the flash
Norristoacn Herald.
Old Chappie-"Ah, here comes De
Peters, and weally, Chawles, you must
excuse me, yer know. He's nice fellow.
and all that, but he wears such beastly
old-fashioned collar, and always carries
nis gloves with the fingers in front
instead of behind, that weally ye-
know, am ashamed to walk with him.
Life.
Queen Christina, in few short years,
NAV be seen at the chamber window,
with only one sleeve of her dress on, ges-
ticulating violently at boy in the back
yard and shouting: .'Here, you bad
boy, Alphonzo Elonze Amadeo Montpen-
sier Macmillan Carlos Philippe Alberto
I Miguel Padrillo Memanez Santillos Quin-
lana Zorilllal come right in out of that
wet grass or I'll give you such lesson
as you won't forget in one whilev'--
| Washington Post
DR.. Holmes says that on "horsebaeh
= mans system becomes clarified, be
cause his liver goes up and down like
the handle of churn." DIR. Holmes is
half right-just about half right. If he
should ever get on a native Dakota pony
that had inherited bad disposition he
would be surprised to find himself
climbing up toward the blue vault oI
heaven making frantic efforts to clutch
/ his liver, which would be going on
ahead of him like the handle of churn
that had tried to agitate a couple of gal
Ions of nitro glycerine. Esteltine Bell.