The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1886-07-15
A TERRIBLE AFFLlcTIoN.
Valuable Information Relating to Chills
and Fever, Alias Dumb Ague, Alias Ma
1aria, Alias the Shakes.


Valuable Information Relating to Chnls
and Fever, Alias Dumb Ague, Alias Ma
laria, Alias the Shakes.
Recently nu,lber of our merry
philosophers have been giving their
views on the subject of malaria. Some
men are born with malaria, some
achieve malaria and others have ma
laria thrust upon them.
In looking back over my bitter past
I find that once l had malaria myself.
It was is 1865 and lasted seven weeks.
But it was not called malaria in those
primitive days of this now fashionable
malady. It was known in its various
forms as chills-and-fever and dumb
ague, while vulgar people simply
| summed them both up as s'the shakes"
Dumb ague would come on every
| day, chills-and-fever every other day.
OF the two perhaps dumb ague was
considered the more distressing. /
knew an old lady at this time who had
the dumb ague so badly that she could
do nothing but talk.
But to myself. / had a terrible time.
wore all my flesh off; or, to be more
correct, the chills worked all my flesh
/ bones, like shad.
/ have never since been SO much re-
duced in circumstances as was then
reduced in flesh.
The one fortunate thing about my
chills was that the preliminary head
ache would set in about school time in
the morning. Then would go forth
and sit in the sun, and keep as warm
as could. Notwithstanding the fact
that I was cold, the thing I yearned
ior most was ice-water.
But at this period was not the bond
holder | am at present, and ice was far
beyond my pecuniary reach.
! took quinine until my head ratified
| like bob-tail car on. down-grade.
| The old lady with the dumb ague took
the same noxious drug until she COM
pletely ruined her artificial teeth. But,
as l had no artificial teeth to ruin, |
went on taking it until | felt sure that
that was not the medicine for me.
/ What cures one won't cure another
of agey," was stock quotation among
the yokels that surrounded me. Every
man, woman and child swore by the
compound that cured him, her, he, she
or it. One man was cured by quinine,
another by chalk and vinegar, and an
other by ehinoidine.
| At that time / was a constant reader
Of dime-novels, and fervently believed
in Indians and every thing Indian.
from Indian pudding to Indianapolis.
So when was recommended to try a
famous paterit-medicine known as In
dian Polliwog, l proceeded straightway
to the drug store and got bottle, and
went into ecstasies of joy over the
label, which showed an Indian, In war
paint and feathers. standing under a
j. cottonwood tree, leaning on the muzzle
of a rifle evidently unloaded) in a
majestic attitude, with the last rays OF
the setting SUN playing fantastic capers
on his fur-lined circular. This gave me
| great faith in the medicine. which was
said to be composed entirely of herbs.
But after I used the contents of the
/ bottle, 1 concluded that if there is any
thing of an Indian nature that will
i break up malaria, it is tomahawk
buried about half-a-foot in the skull.
But on my well days l made up for
what suffered on the sick ones.
would go fishing and shooting and
swimming, and get so tired out that
hoped to be able to sleep through the
next day. chills and all. People who
were literally roasting, for it was mid
/ summer, used to regard me with envy
4 when they saw me shivering ant
shaking in an overcoat,
When asked if / would got a picnic
. or baseball match on certain day
/ used to count the days off on my
: fingers to know whether was going
to be sick or we'll at the time, and an
4 swer accordingly. The happiness and
q misery of the sick and well days was 8
sharp contrast. | called it sunshine
!, and shadow, just as call my presen
days sunshine and shad-roe.
Some people said it was not malarif
at all, but that my liver was out of or
: der. I then commenced eating bacoI
= three times day to brace up my liver
i never knew exactly how | got rit
of it. 1t seemed that il got tired of M
and departed. fancied in my Joy tina
had perhaps mislaid it somewhere
d Just as hen sometimes mislays an egg
Anyhow, my chills mysteriously van
e ished, and trust that if they are eve
found the finder may be some othe
/ than myself.-R. K. Mu,sEittrick, q
E Puck.
n A Man Who Loved His Prison.
70 thz-1o., NfoGor,h of tho Colifoy1i