Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1886-08-22
UMBRELLA FlENDS.
Idiosyncracies of Some WcIl-knOwn Nui-
SanccS.



SanccS.
phRuiclphir N,lrS.
4 man often shows his character by the
way he carries his umbrella. Ii he is alb
sent-minded he will lug by the top OF the
handle, careless of whether it is folded or
Tapping, and Indifferent if it trails behin d
him upon the pavement. He may be bust
ling hurrying, in high spirits, and if 50, he
frequently ,twirls his umbrella III circles
from the wrist, rs hc spins down the street
If he is lat he lies his umbrella rs a cane
or paraSol; if he is Il clergyman he carries
it Imply, before him; if he is angry he
grabs it by the handle rs if it We're club;
and if he is dude he pOkcs the tcrulc III
front OF him until it strikes the pavement,
and aS lie passes Oh twitchcS it forward
again.
One of the most familiar of the umbrella
carrying species is the ',iabbcr" or ''ShOv-
err lie Tugs his parachute under his arm
with the ierrule straight out behind and
the handle rigid in front. He pOkes of
more hats, indcnt more StOmaclS, gOugeS
more ribs and jabS more spineS rs he walks
along than one could shake 4 stick at i'll
week. lie never stops to see who he has
punched Not he. With lips compressed
us tightly rs the lid OF IN iron chest, he
goes ON, irowming, humping into passers-
by, and with an air that seems TO say; "li
You don't get out OF the way you'll he
hurt" lie is generally old and thin, but
sometimes he has not reached middle age.
The public abhOrS him, and he is nui-
Sancc that kO-ko most ineXcuSably omit
ted from his famous list.
The heavy military swell is another in
tcrcSting umbrella carrier. His chest
sticks on: like pOuter-pigeOn's, his new
plug hat gliStens like Day Il Martins
backing. His pantaloons are the newest,
his frock coat the tightest, his mOustache
the waNieSt and his glare the most terocious
seen on the promenade. He carries the
umbrella. by his side good deal as if it
were a sword. sticking closely to his portly
figure. 1t is a Soldierly act Even his
tuduccTs couldn't deny that. Behold him,
with his dandy parasOl ut an angle OF forty
five degrees, close 10 his ribs, ~ he strides
along in true military step, the admiration
and envy of every helmeted policeman on
the beat and the butt OF vulgar Jokes from
every bareioOtcd passing newsbOy.
Then there is the countryman from way
back, who Tugs his venerable rain-distribu-
tor with him when he goes over to Ridge
way Park. See him on the boat, His
back is towards Us, and his ancient, faded,
blue parachute is outlined beside him. He
carries it like hoe, and Il hoe that he
doesn't care much about, Its crcascs are
worn by weather, its handle was painted,
but the paint has worn off. He is an en-
blcm of the haysccd regions, and so is his
parasOl, which he clings to with grip like
the grip of Destiny. He may not lug his
umbrella with much grace, but when he
gets to RidSeway Park it will be there
with him; and, no matter how many times
he saves his life with the island beer, he
will hang on to his rain-protectOr, and 80
back with it to his home among the corn
patches and wheat fields.
1t is a very rare thing for the fat man TO
use his umbrella except rs 4 paraSol. 1t
wards off the suns ScOrching summer rays
from his round andperSpiring countenancc.
With his pudgy hand he graspS the handle
and carries the parachute over his crown,
while his summer vests flaps TO m fro, and
the entire area of his person is COursed by
little rillS that run into his shoes. He en-
iOvS his umbrella more than most people.
As a general thing hls mouth is open, his
brow is moist, his feet come down on the
trembling earth like pile-drivers as he
moves on with majestic step, and his man
ner of breathing resembles that OF the por-
poiSe when the fish comes to the top of the
bTiny waters to blow.
The Norfolk iacketcd young man from
the cities, who carries his umbrella with
him on the Seashore, is noticeable speci-
men of the genus of umbrella-carriers.
The rim of his straw hat is rs stiff as the
bow of a rich man to 4 poor relation, and
his attire is faultleSS, for is he not a gid
ed youth? His black silk umbrella Is
wrapped 50 small and $50 tightly that 1t
looks like Cambridge walking stick. He
carries it daintily and negligently in front
of him, rs he saunters by the sad sea waves
watching the witching gambOls ofthe msid-
ems in the surf. He is harmless, so is his
parachute. Neither of them are intended
for use, and both make combination that
doesn't look at all out of place upon the
golden sands of the sounding shore, when
! Augustus sun scars ambitiously.