Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1886-12-24
4 DREADFUL SITUATION.

sion. Coming home from the thea
ter | became aware of something
wrong where l couldn't convenient
ly get at it. A part of my stand
ing rigging had worked loose, and
a stocking was slipping down into
a lot of miserable, uncomfortable
folds about my ankle. OF course |
had lost a garter. My companion
noticed my preoccupied air and in
quired the cause, and when / told
him he iokingly inquired if be was
expected to make gooe all losses
Incurred while | was I'M der his pro-
lection. AS it would be inconye-
nient to 90 ont in the morning, ac'
cepted his suggestion and told him
he could get me a pair on his way
down town and send them up by q
messenger. The poor man was
visibly agitated, but he wouldn't
back out and, rather ruefully aC'
cepted the commission. He had q
terrible time the next day. He
thought he would step into q first
class store, but when he got there
his courage began to ooze out. The
place was full of women, and he
thought they were Just waiting for
him to come in and ask for carriers.
Every woman who passed him look
ed at him as though she knew what
he was after, and was silently
laughing at him. So he weakened
and kept on down town. Finally
he sneaked around a corner when
he thought nobody was looking,
and furtively lodged into the door
of a small store that seemed to be a
nice, quiet place and to presentpos-
sibilities of carriers, Judging by tie
works of art displayed in the win
dow. He stepped up to the coun-
ter nearest the door and told the
saleswOman what he wanted, in a
way that indicated great haste. |
believe he added that he wanted TO
catch a train.
awe don't keep gents furnish
lngs," she replied.
Then he said he wanted them for
a lady, and she rejOlned in her reg.
ular CASHMERE voice:
"Next to the last counter on the
other side for ladies' garters."
He was the only customer in the
store, and all the clerks we're young
women, but he braced up and
started for the other end of the
apartment, which looked like the
perspective of prairie road. 1t
seemed to him that he hever would
reach the vanishing point with all
those girls looking at him. He
tried to walk firmly, and of course,
tramping like a horse. Then he
essayed the easy, unconcerned
glide, scuffed along like q school
boy and caught a splinter In the
sole of his boot that caused him to
stumble and lose both his balance
and his self.command. He tried to
get his bearings from the litho.
graphs on the walls picturing all
sorts of feminine harness in active
service. AS the Autographs began
to grow more interesting he con-
cluded that he was about in the
latitude of garters, and pulled up
at counter, his face red and his
ewes blurred, and asked the girl for
garters, expected her to hand them
over forth with and put an end to
the trouble. Poor little in"ocentl
The young woman smiled coldly
and said:
"What kind pleasew
"Oh, the best you have" he
replied, painfully conscious that
his ears were blazing red.
"But what style do you want ?"
she rejoined, evidently enjoying
his plight. He didn't know, as
hadn't give him any specifications,
and probably it never before occur
red to him that there could be more
than one kind. 1t was useless for
him to attempt to escape. All the
clerks were watching him, or seem.
ed to be. So he asked what style |
was generally used, and the clerk |
proceeded to exhibit and explain |
the various styles. She showed |
him suspender carriers attached to
a waist belt, dress reform garters,
garters that hitch on to the side of
The corset, carriers of every imagin-
able kind, and when he seemed
LACED by her descriptions she took
Town Autographs and INFINITELY
pointed out the way of wearing
latent stocking harnesses. He was
lewildered and helpless, and gaz-
ID at her appealingly for help. At
asst he stammered: "What kind
10 YOU" but was checked by an
cy "Sir~ Then an inspiration Of
genius, born OF despair, came to
lin, and he blurted out:
"What kind would you be most
kelly to lose off in the streetp
lie made his escape with a pair
# old.fasbioned circular elastlcs,
which no woman who cares to pre-
erye the natural curve and shape
f her limbs will wear, and sent
hem up by a messenger, with a
Ote begging to be excused from
nture shopping errands. Those
Instruments Of torture are in my
museum as mementoes of masculine
TO master the intricacies