Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1886-06-02
BRIGHT BITS.

The best thing yet discovered for seasick-
ness is port.-MedicaL Record.
Eyes, want a man. but the work is heavy,
and he must be healthy and strong. | suppose
you enjoy good health, do yoUW You bet /
does, boss, when has itp'-C0mic Weekly.
"BEEN to Philadelphia. eh?" Make any ac-
quaintances there?' II should say / did.
you lived there once, believe. suppose you
know all the society people," Don't know
any You see was born there and my par
ents lived on the wrong side of the street,
ChfctgO Vea0s.
IT IS not necessary to assign cause for any
mans matrimonial inclination, 1t is the uni
versal duty, as it Is the fashion, to take
tlcket In the lottery. 1t is fact that the lot
terry might be improved were there more
crowns and fewer crosses among the prizes,
but the present state of things is not the fault
of the ticket takers.-Chica0O Tribune.
A SON of NJ. Prudhomme is accosted on the
boulevard by person who thinks he
recognizes him. "PardOn, monsieur, but
Baiaudard" mo. monsieur" replied he
with dignity. al am not the son of NJ. Bal
audard, and if / were / would have you I'M
derstand that it would not be by chance.''-
French JOke.
A DEMAND FOR HANDs-"say, Jones,
there's no need for you to be idle. There's
10000 hands wanted in store on Chestnut
street."
''sakes alive, man! Tomanufacture what?"
''NOthing."
"Why do they want 90 many hands?"
ITO wear the gloves the firm is offering for
sale. Philadelphia CdU.
CURED HIS INSOMNIA. Biggsby-Hullo,
TOdSers; how are you?
Todgers-BeJter, thankee.
Blggsby-Wh by, what has been the matter?
TOdgers-Insomnia; couldn't get any sleep
for three months.
Biggsby-You don't say! How did you
cure yourself?
Todgers-I joined the police force.-CLve-
land Sun.
JACK BoUNCER WAS FROM BUFFALO,
HE 10! There's Jack Bouncer from Buffalo.
I'll call him over and introduce you"
'Faw Gawd's sake! no, deah boy, no."
why, what's the matter? He's good fell
low, assure yOu.'
~ cannot help that, deah boy. l cannot sf-
fawd to meet any one that doesn't come from
Bawston aw Philadelphia. Ny position won't
pawmit it, WEAKLY. "'-Toa0n Topics.
1.-THE dairy cow" remarks the Aorjcultar-
let, requires very little exercise" Summer
boarders will please bear this in mind and
stay out of the pasture. There is no doubt
that many good dairy COW has been ruined
by having go much of her time occupied in
assisting summer bOarders over the pasture
fence. Even the strongest COW feels faint
and languid after pitching a fat woman on to
the top of passngalOad Of hay, -Br00kEVn
Eagle.
1T was the Lady we're de we're
Who rung her jeweed hands;
She was lady rich and rare
In houses and in lands.
''He's gone!" she said; 'why did they tear
My darling from my breast?
He was the truest. noblest friend
That bore our noble crest.
''No blacker nose was ever seen;
No lovelier dog than he
Some heartless wretch has stolen my pug,
My beautiful Billee n'-Eechdnge.
IN one of the public schools the other dav
while the teacher was instructing the schol-
airs on the folly of intemperance, she com
menced by saying that liquor was mans
greatest enemy. A young Hibernian, fresh
from the Emerald isle, who was listening with
much attention, SAID we should love our enc
mics, statement which the teacher thought
was right, but was much perplexed by the
witty remark:
But" continued the boy. with a good
natured smile, and relieving the embarrsss-
mcnt of the teacher, ave shouldn't sWal. ow
them "-POrttGnd (.Be.l 4 yG,S.