West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1886-03-12
TERRA ALTA.

SchOoi III bIdnt ulsNIlcl. lhOSo VINO nave
no love for Oscar Wilde should not read
thi~ for that's my name
| am glad To see so many excellent cor
respondents sending i'm locals Tor THE
ARGUS. There's Lady-sile. he's not on
~ yood local correspondent but l. at
tanning some nOtoriety as Il poet. ! have
il from gond authority that the Aforesaid
poet apprprIateI and ran away with \
real hustle belonging 90 the belle of the
Pineswamps. / really didn't think pc.
OF would uO such a thing.
c. G. Crane mas at the county capitol
last weeN. Important business we spect.
Terra Alta now boasts of first class
cigar factory. w, G.. Huntington is the
proprietor.
The Rev. air. Engle has been conduct
ing series oi meetings in the NJ. T.
church with great ST ccess Quite a mum
Der of the Terrible Altans have protested
conversion.
VIM. Il. " bite. of the firm of Jones &
White has purchased his partner, inter
est in the store here and Win carry on the
business at the old stand. Scott II. will
take Horace Grcclys advice: 60 west
young man
Thomas a. Casteel and family left this
place en- route Tor Nebraska last week.
The Rev. Mr.. wilt has gone into win
tel quarters with his picture gallery.
air. $. G. Shaw, the GAINESVILLE peda-
gogue, was in town recently, smiling
among Terra Alias fair ones.
There's a wild rumol afloa; To the effect
l,at 10 mo
'masher' OF this place, Wi | take unto him
scit another rib before the rosebuds
sprOut again. That's right, johnny; the
good book says it is not good for bache-
Tors to bo alone. 1t | were only young
man again L would improve the golden
moments. Now I'm an old bachelor aud
the yonng ladies only laugh in my face
when talk sweet nonsense To them.
DIR. X. X. FREY came very near d ing
from strangulation on last Sunday. ne
checked on "A crumb of bread.
Squire Il. ID Benson is uilding new
dwelling house on ms iarm north or,own
Charley Cramer, OF GAINESVILLE, is doing
the work.
1t is said that our handsome Cranes
VILE pedagog nc. 5. T.. Shaw, had his arm
broken in the school room at that place II
f'w days since. 1t wasn't done by hug
ging the big iris but happened while he
was chaStising one OF hiS 'uoy pupils for
bad conduct. lie attempted To whip the
young man, so we are informed. when
the unruly boy caught MIR. =. by the arti.
fetal arm ana broke it iE two ami threw
il OH the II Dor. Mr.. s. then had some of
T. o other boys to- hold The pugiist while
he gave him an unmerc:Iul Gastigation.
So mote il be.
Terra Alta has subject which ii IS
hoped will soon he removed to Weston
1t is cranky individual who inhabits
the stores duIIng tie evening and does
vast amount OF blowing! The pestifei-
Gus crank says he h IS been all over the
world and lone many wonderful deeds
There has icon good deal of guessing
AZ Ia who was the author of tho Oscar
Wilde letters from this place last summer
and fall. Oscar Posteh. Dan Hendon,
Tom Joyce. John Fox, Walter Parsons,
III. G. WorIhinHtOn and several others
have been accused. In justice to the
above named gentleman we will say that
it is neither of them. We'll bet nickel
that even the editor ofTHE ARGUS doesn't
know Oscar Wilde.
am glad to learn that my friend, Rev.
Jimmy Squibs, will soon enter some
theological institution preparatory to his
noble calling
We believe Mr.. g. w. Jackson has
abandoned the idea OF going west.
Wonder what has become Of that W an
dering jew who goes down into 'irapt
district occasionally and writes his vain,
conceited letters from ALBERT, to the
JOuyHat? He is possessed Of more vanity
than brains.
was down at a lbrightsville yesterday.
] s.rolled into the store of Brown Bros. to
have talk with Ben Brown.
see thai tie Rambler has been paying
his respects TO you on several occasions
OF late, Mr.. Brown, SAID l.
Oh yes, said he, who is it that that blat-
ant pestilerOus crank don't slanGer? HIS
childish twaddle is becoming disgusting
and sickening and tho people are becom-
ing ~ tired OF IL as they would OF the con-
slant barking Of a penny fyste in church
vestry.
saw AT once that Mr.. Brown had no
love for the Rambler. as he began to
clench his fists and grit his teeth.
Well, SIR. wilde, continued Ben, ]
want you to write some poetry for The
ARGUS that will cut the Rambler-to
pieces. / consented to do il on condition
that Ben shall not give me away. So
here we go:
/ would like To- meet 1he Rambler,
Aud right before him stand,
W ith % shotgun ON my lore arm,
And a dirk within my band.
] wOJld show him how to Islander
All tho darling pr lily lasses,
For he's nothing but gsnder,
And i- full Of uauseous gases.
I would point tie shooter at him,
And l'd take deliberate aim,
Aud tho dirk-kniie would go upward.
Aud descend with greater fame.
] would soon despatch tho vermiu,
Aud ia cleve his form iu ~ in.
And th,s great and mighty writer
Would be- numbered with the slain.