Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1886-11-18
WIT AND HUNIOR.


Representatives Cobb and Laird hav-
ing fought, it is now proposed to place
them on the pension list-AdcO1 Tele-
graph.
Miss Braddon is writing a tale en-
titled Engaged in Haste" II is prob
ably satire on the messenger boys
Life.
There is place in Pennsylvania
called Economy" 1t is probably n
snmmer-resort for editors-NeI0 HdUeH
NelOs.
''Garmenls without buttons" are ad-
vertised. We've. got 'em, and so has
every other bachelor.-Net0 Hdven
NeUS r.r-
There are l,027 women over 100 years
of age in Paris; at least there are that
number of women in the ballet Of the
grand opera.-Nel0 HdUen NetoS.
When it comes to discussing money
ed men q newspaper man depends
entirely upon his Imagination and does
beautiful work.-Minnedpolis Tribune.
The Sphinx was woman. or at least
a creature with the body of lion and
the head of woman. That solves the
mystery and all is clear-she is jealous
ly hiding the secret Of her age.-TeSes
Sytings.
The female bather at Newport goes
right out of the water and reports to
Mrs. Howe the moment she sees some
one in the water who does not belong
to her set, or who has not been intro
duced.-NeO Orleans Picayune.
"Were you atthe sociable last nightp"
"Yes, and I spent a very pleasant even
ing" Il heard Miss x was 10 sing
there. suppose you enjoyed thatP"
'Ever so much. She had a sore throat
and couldn't sing" - Philadelphia
Call.
YES" said Featherly. ''if my grand
father were alive he would be 10S years
old to-day" "You don't say SO" ex-
claimed Dumley, very much impressed.
Zone hundred and three years old! 1t
doesn't seem possible. ."-NeW York
Times.
Overheard in a street-car: II tried to
kiss my wife at the front door tonight
as was leaving home, and, do you
know, she wouldn't let me. She said
she didn't want the neighbors to be tax
ing her for the hired girl?'-Bufalo
Egpress
A young lady singing sentimental
romanza displayed not only an extror-
binary talent but set of enormous
teeth. '.Ah," said lady auditor to her
husband, "what a grand organw "Per-
feet" rejoined her husband, seven
to the keyboard in her mouth. Troy
Times.
i Prof. Dryasdust-Have you read my
essay? Noted Scientist--Yes, and with
much profit "You understood it,
thenP' 10, easily" ''Well. well, l
did hope it would not be such a failure
as that. I intended it for the Con-
cord School of Philosophy. y."-OmakG
World.
DR.. Gimlet returns empty-handed from
q days hunting, and in response to his
wife's inquiries candidly confesses that
he killed nothing. why" retorts Mrs.
G., slowly, 'you could have done bet
ter.than that had you staid at home and
attended to your regular business. "
, Loa0eH Citizen.
"What is that big iron thing full Of
holesP" asked Laura. Locomotive
boiler" said Tom. Laura looked
thoughtful. After a moments silence
she asked: "Why do they boil loco
: motivesp" Tom looked amazed. "To
, make 'em tender" he answered slowly.
, Burdette.
Black-"Come and take a drink,
White" White-"No, l guess not Pm
not drinking anything now" B.-"O,
, come along" W.-"Ail right" They 60
,, and take drink, after which White
observes: "Well, seeing as you We in.
vited me, / guess I'll take another. y
Boston Courier.
Druggist-Well my little man, what
can do for you2 Boy-I want 1C
cents worth of cochineal and 5 cents
worth of hayseed. Druggist-What dc
you want cochineal and hayseed for!
Boy-Me mudder is maxim some straw
berry ice-cream for the church picnic
Nea0 York Times.